Add files from /home/DONE/40001.zip

17 files changed, 15313 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/40001-8.txt b/40001-8.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..674d07a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001-8.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,5043 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of An English Girl's First Impressions of
+Burmah, by Beth Ellis
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
+
+
+Title: An English Girl's First Impressions of Burmah
+
+Author: Beth Ellis
+
+Release Date: June 16, 2012 [EBook #40001]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AN ENGLISH GIRL'S FIRST ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by sp1nd, Martin Pettit and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+AN ENGLISH GIRL'S FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF BURMAH.
+
+BY
+BETH ELLIS.
+
+"'TIS TRUE 'TIS STRANGE, BUT TRUTH IS
+ALWAYS STRANGE; STRANGER SOMETIMES
+THAN FICTION."
+
+Wigan:
+R. PLATT, 17, WALLGATE.
+
+London:
+SIMPKIN, MARSHALL, HAMILTON, KENT & CO., LTD.
+
+1899.
+
+
+[Illustration: EASTWARD HO!
+
+PASSING THROUGH THE SUEZ CANAL]
+
+
+DEDICATED
+
+TO
+
+T. E.
+
+
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS.
+
+
+Eastward Ho!            _Frontispiece_
+
+                          TO FACE PAGE
+Elephant Moving Timber              32
+
+Burmese Bullock Cart                84
+
+Native Bazaar at Remyo             164
+
+A Hpoongyi Kyaung                  224
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+
+_Chapter_                       _Page_
+
+I.    THE VOYAGE                     1
+
+II.   RANGOON                       28
+
+III.  THE ROAD TO MANDALAY          46
+
+IV.   THE JOURNEY TO THE HILLS      61
+
+V.    AN UP-COUNTRY STATION         87
+
+VI.   THE EUROPEAN INHABITANTS     103
+
+VII.  THE BURMESE                  142
+
+VIII. ENTERTAINING                 168
+
+IX.   ADVENTURES                   178
+
+X.    BEASTS AND REPTILES          192
+
+XI.   SPORT                        217
+
+XII.  THE RETURN                   238
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+
+_Towards the close of my visit to Burmah I was dining one night at a
+friend's house in Rangoon, when my neighbour, a noted member of the I.
+C. S. suddenly turned to me and asked me if it was my intention to write
+a book. At my prompt reply in the negative he seemed astonished, and
+asked, what then did I intend to do with my life? I had never looked at
+the matter in that light before, and felt depressed. It has always been
+my ambition to do at Rome as the Romans do, and if, as my questioner
+clearly intimated, it was the custom for every casual visitor to the
+Land of Pagodas either to write a book or to "do something with his
+life," my duty seemed clear. I had no desire at all to undertake either
+of the tasks, but as there was apparently no third course open to me, I
+decided to choose the safer of the two, and write a book. So far so
+good, but what to write about? I have considered the merits of
+innumerable subjects, from the exploits of the old Greek heroes to green
+Carnations, but each appears to have been appropriated by some earlier
+author. The only subject which, so far as I can discover, has never
+hitherto formed the theme of song or story, is Myself, and as that is a
+subject about which I ought to know more than most folks and which has
+always appeared to me to be intensely interesting, I have adopted it as
+the theme of this, my first plunge into Literature._
+
+[Illustration: Decoration]
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+THE VOYAGE.
+
+     "Who spoke of things beyond my knowledge and showed me many things
+     I had never seen before."
+
+
+     "For to admire, and for to see, and for to behold
+     the world so wide."--(Rudyard Kipling.)
+
+
+"I am not naturally a coward, except when I am afraid; at other times I
+am as brave as a lion."
+
+It is an unfortunate state of existence, but such it is. From my
+babyhood I have been known to my friends and relations as one who might
+be confidently expected to behave in a most terror-stricken manner on
+all occasions when no real danger threatened; but for myself, I have
+always felt convinced that should I ever be brought face to face with
+real danger, I should behave with a coolness and courage calculated to
+win the unbounded admiration of all beholders. I say advisedly "of all
+beholders," because, possibly, were no witnesses present, I might not
+feel disposed to show so resolute a front to the danger!
+
+For example, in the case of a shipwreck, I can picture myself
+presenting my life-belt to any one in distress, in the most
+self-sacrificing manner, with the neatest little speech, quite worthy of
+"Sir Philip Sidney" himself, and from some commanding post of vantage in
+the rigging, haranguing the terrified passengers on the advisability of
+keeping their heads. I feel sure that no power on earth would prevent me
+from diving into the raging sea to rescue inexpert swimmers from a
+watery death, were such an opportunity to present itself to me.
+
+And yet, if I am taken out of my depth, during a morning bathe, I am
+paralysed with fear. Though a brave and expert swimmer in shallow water,
+no sooner do I find myself out of reach of dry land, than all my powers
+forsake me. I swim with short, irregular, and utterly ineffective
+strokes, I pant, gasp and struggle, and unless promptly rescued, I sink.
+
+Or again, I can in imagination picture myself snatching little children
+from under the hoofs of maddened horses, or with a plunge at the reins,
+stopping them in the full force of their desperate career.
+
+But in reality I have never yet had sufficient courage to enter into
+close intimacy with any horse, maddened or otherwise. Once, when I
+wished to ingratiate myself in the eyes of the owner, I did venture to
+pat a horse gingerly on the neck, well out of reach of mouth or heels,
+but the animal shied away promptly, and I have never repeated the
+experiment.
+
+Twice indeed, when a small girl, I was induced to mount to the saddle,
+and then my expectations were not disappointed. Real danger stared me in
+the face, and I was brave. When the horse, for some unaccountable
+reason, pricked its ears, tossed its head, and began to trot, I did not
+scream, I did not call for help, I merely grasped the pummel with one
+hand, the saddle with the other, shut my eyes and waited for the end.
+The end was sudden and somewhat painful.
+
+But in this matter-of-fact little England of ours there are few
+opportunities, outside the yellow backed novel, of meeting with real
+adventures. Picture then my delight when I received an invitation to
+spend the winter in Burmah. I knew where Burmah was; that it was bounded
+by Siam, China, and Tibet; anything was possible in a country with such
+surroundings. I was charmed to go.
+
+Accordingly, I bought a great many unnecessary things, as is ever the
+custom with inexperienced travellers, and started from Liverpool early
+in November, my mind filled with dreams of tiger shooting, cobra
+killing, dacoit hunting, and other venturesome deeds.
+
+After I had recovered from the effects of homesickness, brought on by my
+first venture into the unknown world, and sea sickness brought on by the
+Bay of Biscay, I found the ship a world of hitherto undreamt of
+delights. I suppose the voyage was much the same as all other voyages,
+but to me, naturally, it was full of enjoyments, wonders, and new
+experiences. Everything was delightful, including the "Amusement
+Committee" and "Baggage Days"; even coaling, I think, for the first
+five minutes was full of interest.
+
+I have since been told that my fellow passengers were not uncommon
+types, but to me they appeared the most wonderful and interesting beings
+who ever lived in this work-a-day world. Certainly, none could have been
+kinder to a lone, lorn female than were they. There were, of course, on
+board several other passengers making their first voyage, young Indian
+Civilians much advised and patronised by seniors of two years standing,
+but these were of interest only as partners in games and dances. It was
+in the real seasoned article, the self-satisfied, and immensely
+kind-hearted Anglo-Indian, in whom I found my real interest.
+
+And they were all very good to me. Finding me young, ignorant, and eager
+for information, they undertook my education, and taught me many things
+which I did not know before, shedding new light on all subjects, from
+"the only way to eat a banana," to the object of creation.
+
+I learned that India was created that the Indian Civilian might dwell
+therein; the rest of mankind was created in order to admire the Indian
+Civilian. Something of this sort I had already heard from my
+brother-in-law, a member of that service, but one does not pay much
+attention to what brothers-in-law say.
+
+Burmah, I discovered, is a land where teak grows, in order that the
+"Bombay Burman" may go there and collect it. I have no very clear idea
+as to what this "Bombay Burman" may be, but suppose him to be a member
+of a society of men who uphold the principles of a late Prime Minister;
+not political, but woodcraft.
+
+There are other dwellers in India and Burmah; indeed, one man proved to
+me that the welfare of the British Constitution was solely dependent
+upon the efficient condition of the Burmese police force, of which he
+was an important member, but his arguments seemed to me a trifle
+involved. On the whole, the other inhabitants of these countries seem to
+be of little use or importance, unless perhaps it be to amuse and
+entertain the Indian Civilian and the "Bombay Burman" in his leisure
+hours.
+
+Further, I was instructed that Ceylon is a country in which dwell the
+best (and the noisiest!) fellows in the world. They have innumerable
+horse races, eat prawn curry, are prodigiously hospitable, and in odd
+hours grow tea.
+
+My fellow passengers also filled my eager mind with stories of wonderful
+adventure. Burmah, apparently, is crowded with tigers and wild
+elephants, of a size and ferocity which filled me with fear. But as
+every man on board appeared to have slain tigers and captured elephants
+innumerable, and that under the most surprisingly dangerous
+circumstances, I felt I should be well protected.
+
+I was also taught how to overcome a wild beast, should I chance to meet
+with one when weaponless.
+
+A bear should cause but little anxiety; it is only necessary to hit him
+violently over the nose; he will then stop and cry, and his victim will
+escape. But beware! one man was so much amused at the bear's strange
+cry that he laughed and forgot to run away. The bear killed him.
+
+When chased by an elephant the pursued should, I believe, climb up a
+clump of feathery bamboos, where the beast cannot reach him. When I saw
+a clump of feathery bamboos I rather wondered how anyone could climb it;
+but all things are possible to one pursued.
+
+A tiger presents greater difficulties. If he doesn't run away when you
+wave your arms and shout, you should poke your stick through his eye
+into his brain, or get on his back, out of reach of his claws, and
+throttle him. If that fails, pretend to be dead; if that even fails, you
+must die.
+
+All this information I accepted gratefully and stored in my memory for
+use when opportunity should arise. In the meantime I continued to enjoy
+my voyage, and turned all my energies to mastering the science of
+board-ship games.
+
+The one game which I never could play was "Bull." To me it seemed the
+most foolish game ever invented. It is played by means of six flat
+pads, about two inches in diameter, and a large sloping black board,
+divided by thick white lines into twelve squares. Ten of these squares
+are marked with numbers, the remaining two with "Bs." The object of the
+player is to throw the pads on to the centre of the squares, avoiding
+the lines, which count nothing, and above all avoiding the "Bs," which
+count "minus ten." At the end of each turn the total of the numbers
+scored is reckoned, and the highest score wins.
+
+In the "Bull" tournament I was drawn to play with a Mr. Rod, whom I did
+not know, but who enjoyed the reputation of being an excellent player,
+and very keen to win. One morning I was practising, and playing, if
+possible, worse than usual, when I noticed a melancholy-looking man,
+seated on a camp stool, watching my performance. I was struck by his
+ever increasing sadness of expression, and enquired his name.
+
+He was Mr. Rod.
+
+In the tournament my score was minus twenty; I did not see him any more
+during the voyage!
+
+I learned that one or two people had seen a worse "Bull" player than
+myself. Her first three throws went overboard, the fourth went down an
+air funnel, and the fifth upset an ink-stand, showering the contents
+over an innocent spectator of the game. She never attempted to play
+"Bull" again; it had made her so unpopular.
+
+Great indeed are the attractions of board-ship life on a first voyage.
+The congenial companionship, the exhilarating outdoor life, the constant
+succession of games, gaieties, and amusements, the novelty of every
+thing, all tend to shed a halo over what, to the seasoned traveller, is
+merely a period of utter boredom, to be dragged through with as little
+ennui as possible. But the chief charm to me lay in the glimpse, though
+only distant, of new lands, lands which had hitherto been merely
+geographical or historical names, but which now acquired a new reality
+and interest.
+
+The first few days we saw little of the land, but after the Bay was
+passed, our course lay more inland, and we saw the coast of Spain and
+Portugal, beautiful in the sunlight, red rocks and green slopes rising
+up from a sea of deepest blue.
+
+Then appeared on the horizon a vague shadowy cloud, which we learned was
+Africa. The first glimpse of a new continent, and a continent fraught
+with such endless possibilities is impressive; and as we drew nearer,
+and gazed on that dark range of wild, bare hills, I sympathised
+thoroughly with a wee fellow-passenger who was discovered, full of
+mingled hope and terror, looking eagerly at the dreary waste of land in
+search of lions!
+
+Soon again we forgot all else, when, shaping our course round the south
+of Spain, Gibraltar broke upon our view. What a wonder it is! that great
+rugged rock, shaped on the northwest like a crouching lion, rising dark,
+cold and solitary, amid the alien lands around it. Unmoved by the raging
+seas beneath, it stands calm and defiant, a fit emblem of the nation to
+which it belongs. Surely no Englishman can behold Gibraltar without
+feeling proud of his nationality.
+
+We passed close to the north of Corsica, where the hills were covered
+with snow, though it was still early winter. A dreary inhospitable
+looking country is this: a fit birthplace for that iron-heart the First
+Napoleon.
+
+We passed through the Straits of Messina by full moonlight, and never
+have I beheld a scene of more fairylike beauty. The Sicilian coast
+seemed (for all was vague and shadowy) to rise in gentle slopes from the
+dark water, the land looked thickly wooded and well cultivated, and here
+and there appeared the little white towns, nestling among trees and
+vineyards, or perched beneath sheltering rocks, a peaceful and beautiful
+paradise. On the Italian coast the scenery was a complete contrast, the
+high, fierce hills stood up black and frowning against the clear sky,
+the country was wild, dreary and desolate. This mingling of peaceful
+homelike landscape, and weird rugged scenery, with the tender romance
+of the moon shining on the still dark water, reminded me, somehow, of
+Wagner's music; nothing else can so fitly represent the scene.
+
+Our course did not carry us very near to Crete, but we saw Mount Ida
+rising beautiful and snow-crowned in the centre of a tumultuous land.
+What scorn and pity this fair Mother Ida must feel for the miserable
+dwellers at her feet!
+
+We stopped at Port Said for four hours. During the first two hours I was
+charmed with the place; it seemed just like a big exhibition, everything
+was so strange and unreal. The donkeys were delightful, the Turkish
+traders so amusing, and shopping, when one has to bargain twenty minutes
+over every article, and then toss up about the price, is certainly a new
+experience.
+
+During the third hour I found that the heat, dust, and endless noise and
+chatter were far from unreal. I had bought every conceivable thing that
+I could not possibly want, and paid three times the proper price for it.
+The Arabs ceased to be amusing; I was bored to tears.
+
+During the fourth hour I grew to hate the place and its inhabitants
+with a deadly hatred, and could have kissed the ship in my delight at
+returning to her, had she not been covered with coal dust.
+
+My first experience of the natives of Port Said was a long brown arm
+coming through my porthole, feeling about for whatsoever valuable it
+might find; a hearty smack with a hair brush caused it to retire
+abruptly. The last I saw of them was a pompous trader thrown overboard
+with all his wares, because he would not leave the ship when ordered.
+His companions in their boat, I noticed, busily rescued the wares, but
+seemed quite indifferent to the safety of the poor owner, whom they left
+to struggle to shore as best he could.
+
+It is said that one would meet everyone sometime at Port Said if one
+waited long enough; I would rather forego the meeting.
+
+The Canal, I believe, is generally regarded as an unmitigated nuisance,
+and indeed, the slow progress and constant stoppages make the passage
+through it a little wearisome, but on a first voyage its shores are most
+interesting. On one side are several inland seas, and small collections
+of the most wretched and impossible looking habitations that human
+beings ever inhabited, with an occasional oasis of tall green palm
+trees. From the east bank the desert stretches away apparently into
+infinity.
+
+I was disappointed in the desert, though I hardly know what I expected;
+I suppose the very emptiness and immensity detract from its
+impressiveness; the human eye and mind cannot grasp them. We saw several
+mirages and felt quite pleased with ourselves, though unconvinced that
+they were not really oases in the desert; they were so very distinct.
+
+Some of the glimpses of native life on the banks were very amusing. At
+one spot we met a camel, smiling the foolish irritating smile which is a
+camel's characteristic, speeding away at an inelegant trot, and
+distantly pursued by the owner and his friends; alas! we could not see
+the end of the race. Camels, I was told, are unwearying beasts, so
+perhaps, like "Charley's Aunt" this one is still running.
+
+We were greatly excited by one incident. A Dutch steamer passed us, and
+we noticed on the deck a very pretty girl, evidently very much admired
+by all the crew, and especially by one tall fine looking fellow who
+seemed on very good terms with her. Shortly after the boat had passed, a
+small steam launch hove into sight, on board of which were several men,
+mostly Turkish officials. As they passed, the skipper of the launch
+shouted various questions, and we gathered that "Mademoiselle" had run
+away and they were in pursuit. Whether it was an elopement or merely an
+escape from justice we never learned, but most of us adopted the former
+view, and hoped that the guilty steamer would be out of the canal and
+safe from pursuit, before the fussy little launch overtook it.
+
+We had a gorgeous sunset that night in the canal. The sky, every
+conceivable shade of yellow, violet and crimson, was reflected in the
+still waters of the canal and inland seas. The tall palm trees rose
+darkest green against the brilliant sky, while the sand of the desert
+glowed golden and salmon pink, fading in the distance to the palest
+green; and all the colours were softened by a shadowy blue haze. I have
+never seen more wonderful colouring.
+
+After passing Aden we steamed uninterruptedly for ten days with but
+occasional glimpses of land; we had perfect weather, and the beauty of
+everything was almost overpowering.
+
+I know not which hour of the day was the most exquisite: the early
+morning, with the sun rising, a ball of fire, out of the sea, making
+golden paths across the water, and the distant land blushing rosy red,
+as it peered through the hazy blue curtains which o'erhung it; or the
+full noonday, with the deep blue sky and the deep blue sea fading
+together in a pale blue mist, till the world seems changed to a blue
+ball, and we the only living things within it; or the evening, when the
+western sky turned crimson and violet, and the sun, looking strangely
+oval, went down into the sea behind a transparent green haze, while in
+the east the crescent moon sailed silver in the blue-black sky; or the
+night, when one lay alone on the upper deck, fanned by the soft night
+breeze, soothed by the monotonous swish of the water, looking into the
+unmeasured heights of the star-bespangled heavens or the impenetrable
+depths of the waters beneath, where "there is neither speech nor
+language: but their voices are heard among them," and the glory of God
+is shown forth night and day.
+
+We had a fancy dress ball in the Red Sea: I suppose this is usual. Ours
+was noted for the number of Japanese present. At least, I believe they
+were intended to represent Japanese (the costumes had been bought at
+Port Said as such), but as they were dressed chiefly in European evening
+dress, partially covered by a flimsy Japanese dressing-gown, their
+appearance was unique.
+
+I suffered a great deal on that occasion. I was a peasant, and as is
+the custom of fancy dress peasants all the world over, I wore my hair in
+a long plait down my back.
+
+When my first partner approached I looked up at him in the usual polite
+and pleasing manner; he then seized my waist, plait included, in a firm
+grip and we danced off together, I with my head forcibly fixed at an
+angle such as is usually adopted by pictured good choir boys or "Souls
+awakening." I endured it for a short time; but then I began to get a
+stiff neck, and was obliged at last to ask my partner not to pull my
+hair. Alas! he was a sensitively shy youth, and was so embarrassed at my
+request that I felt I had committed an unpardonable fault.
+
+But I did not learn by experience: the same thing occurred with all my
+partners, and as, after the first unfortunate attempt I did not like to
+complain again, the agonies I suffered from the crick in my neck next
+day can better be imagined than described.
+
+We stayed two days in Ceylon, but all attempts to describe this "Garden
+of Eden" are futile. No one, who has not seen it, can hope to realise
+the wonderful colouring of the place; the red roads, the red and white
+houses, deep blue sky, and deep blue lakes; the brilliant dresses of the
+natives, the large flaming red and blue flowers, the wonderful green of
+the palms and other tropical plants, and above all, the beauty of that
+long line of open coast, the great breakers glittering with a thousand
+opal tints in the sunlight, and beyond them the dark blue ocean,
+delicately flecked with shimmering white spray, stretching away into the
+shadowy distance, "farther than sight can follow, farther than soul can
+reach."
+
+We drove through the Cinnamon gardens, where the still air was heavy
+with the delicious scent, and out to Mount Lavinia, where, of course, we
+ate prawn curry. Honestly, I must confess that never before have I
+tasted anything so truly horrible; but I pretended to like it immensely.
+I suppose everybody does the same when first introduced to this
+celebrated dish: it is what might be called "an accrued taste."
+
+I don't think the author of "From Greenland's Icy Mountains" can ever
+have touched at Ceylon, or how could he have declared that "man is
+vile"? The Singalese are the most beautiful people I have ever beheld,
+while the European inhabitants are surely the most hospitable and
+delightful in the world.
+
+Perhaps, when the poet wrote those lines, he had the Turkish traders in
+his mind: they certainly are vile. One of them sold me a sixpenny
+bracelet for ten shillings. They are exactly like the spider of noted
+memory; they stand at the doors of their fascinating, dark, poky little
+shops, persuading innocent passers by to enter, "only to look round;"
+but if the poor victim once venture to "walk into their parlour," he
+will be indeed clever if he escape without emptying his purse.
+
+"Rickshaws" are charming; I spent every spare minute riding about in
+one. It is almost as adventurous and exciting as driving in a
+Marseilles Fiacre, and far more comfortable. I feared I had met with an
+adventure one day, for my "puller" (I don't know what else to call him)
+ran away with me, and stopping in a lonely road, began to assure me that
+I was a "handsome lady." I wondered what would happen next, but soon
+discovered that he only wanted "Backsheesh," and assuming my very
+sternest demeanour I repeated "don't bus" ("bus" to stop, being the only
+word of the language I could remember) several times, and at last
+induced him to take me back to my companions. What a valuable thing is
+presence of mind on such an occasion!
+
+It was shortly after leaving Ceylon that our first real adventure befell
+us. We had all retired early to bed, being weary with the long day on
+shore; the clatter of tongues and tramp of feet on deck had ceased, and
+all was silent save for the throbbing of the engines, and the quiet
+movements of the men on watch.
+
+Suddenly I was awakened by a hurried murmur of voices in the next cabin,
+then an electric bell rang and I was terrified to hear the cry: "Fire!
+Fire!"
+
+I sprang up, flung on a cloak, and rushed out into the "Alley Way,"
+which speedily became the scene of the wildest confusion.
+
+All the cabin doors opened, and the occupants hurried confusedly out,
+arrayed in the first garments that came to hand, asking eager questions,
+and giving wild explanations.
+
+Brave men, anxious to be of use, snatched children from their mothers'
+arms, while the distracted mothers, having but a vague notion as to what
+was happening, supposed the boat to have been boarded by pirates or
+kidnappers, and fought fiercely to regain possession of their infants.
+
+Those who prided themselves on their presence of mind, ran up and down
+with small water bottles to fling on the flames, or tried to organise a
+bucket line. Others endeavoured to tie as many life-belts as possible to
+themselves and their friends, fastening them to any part of their
+persons most easily convenient.
+
+One matter-of-fact old lady began to collect cloaks, biscuits, and
+valuables from her trunk, preparatory to being cast ashore on a desert
+island, while another proceeded to wrap herself from head to foot in
+blankets, having heard that these offer a good resistance to the spread
+of the flames. Some were too terrified to do aught but scream, but the
+majority were full of self-sacrifice and bravery, and fell over, and
+interfered with one another woefully, in their endeavour to be of
+assistance to whomsoever might require their services.
+
+Meanwhile the original causes of the alarm--two girls who shared the
+cabin next to mine--did not for an instant cease their efforts. One,
+with a fortitude worthy of Casabianca himself, stood firmly with a
+finger pressed upon the button of the electric bell, determined to die
+rather than leave her post, while the other fought her way wildly up the
+passage, turning a deaf ear to all questions, and merely continuing to
+reiterate her cry of: "Fire! Steward! Fire!"
+
+At length (I suppose, in reality, in about three minutes after the
+first alarm, but it seemed a far longer time) a sleepy and much
+astonished steward appeared, and as soon as he could make himself heard,
+demanded the cause of the uproar. When eagerly assured that the deck was
+on fire over our heads, that in five minutes we should all be cinders
+unless we instantly took to the boats, and that the whole affair was a
+disgrace to the Company, and the "Times" should be written to if the
+speaker (an irascible "Globe trotter") survived the disaster, the
+steward stolidly denied the existence of any fire at all and
+explanations ensued.
+
+It was then discovered that signal rockets had been sent up from the
+deck to a signal station we were passing, and some of the sparks having
+blown into the porthole of the girls' cabin, the occupants had concluded
+that the deck was on fire, and had given the alarm.
+
+It took some time to make the fact of the mistake clear to everyone, but
+the steward at last succeeded in allaying all fears, and we returned to
+our cabins, feeling indignant and somewhat foolish, and perhaps a little
+disappointed (now that the danger was over) that our adventure had
+turned out so tamely.
+
+On the following morning the Captain organised an imposing ceremony on
+the upper deck, and solemnly presented two sham medals to the heroines
+of the preceding night's adventure, thanking them for their presence of
+mind, and noble efforts to save the burning ship!
+
+The remainder of the voyage passed without incident, and we arrived
+safely at our destination about six o'clock one lovely Friday morning.
+The sun was just rising as we sailed up the river, tinting the brown
+water and the green banks of the Irrawaddy with a rosy light. Rangoon, a
+vast collection of brown and white houses, mills, towers, chimneys, and
+cupolas, in a nest of green, showed faintly through the blue haze; and
+rising high above a grove of waving dark green palm trees, glittered the
+golden dome of a pagoda, the first object clearly distinguishable on
+shore, to welcome us to this country so rightly termed "The Land of
+Pagodas."
+
+[Illustration: Decoration]
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+RANGOON.
+
+     "Oh! the Land of Pagodas and Paddy fields green,
+           Is Burmah, dear Burmah you know."
+
+
+This is not a book on "Burmah," but an account of my impressions of
+Burmah; therefore, for all matters concerning which I had no original
+impressions, such as its history, its public buildings, the scenery, the
+life and condition of the natives, its resources, and its future, I
+refer both the gentle and ungentle reader to the many books on the
+subject which have appeared during the past few years.
+
+My first and last impression of Rangoon was heat. Not ordinary honest,
+hot, heat, such as one meets with at Marseilles or in the heart of the
+desert, wherever that may be; not even a stuffy heat, such as one
+encounters in church, but a damp, clinging, unstable sort of heat, which
+makes one long for a bath, if it were not too much trouble to get into
+it.
+
+I remember in my youth placing one of my sister's wax dolls (mine were
+all wooden, as I was of a destructive nature) to sit before the fire one
+cold winter's day; I remember dollie was somewhat disfigured ever
+afterwards.
+
+The remembrance of that doll haunted me during my stay in Rangoon; I
+felt I could deeply sympathise with, and thoroughly understand her
+feelings on that occasion; and for the first two or three hours,
+remembering the effect the heat had upon her appearance, I found myself
+frequently feeling my features to discover whether they still retained
+their original form and beauty. But after a few hours I became resigned;
+all I desired was to melt away quickly and quietly, and have done with
+it.
+
+At first I looked upon the "Punkah" as a nuisance, its unceasing
+movement irritated me, it ruffled my hair, and I invariably bumped my
+head against it on rising. But after enduring one long Punkahless
+half-hour, I came to look on it as the one thing that made life
+bearable, and the "Punkah-wallah" as the greatest benefactor of
+mankind.
+
+
+In the early mornings and evenings I became, hardly cooler, but what
+might be described as firmer, and it was at these times that the
+wonderful sights of Rangoon were displayed to my admiring gaze.
+
+
+I saw the celebrated "Schwee Dagon Pagoda" with its magnificent towering
+golden dome, surmounted by the beautiful gold and jewelled "Htee;" the
+innumerable shrines, images, cupolas, and pagodas at its base, the
+curious mixture of tawdry decorations and wonderful wood carvings
+everywhere visible, and the exquisite blending and intermingling of
+colours in the bright dresses of the natives, who crowd daily to offer
+their gifts at this most holy shrine. It is quite futile to attempt
+description of such a place; words cannot depict form and colour
+satisfactorily, least of all convey to those who have not themselves
+beheld it, a conception of the imposing beauty of this world famed
+Pagoda.
+
+The Burmese are a most devout people; the great flight of steps leading
+to the Pagoda is worn by the tread of many feet, and every day the place
+is crowded with worshippers.
+
+They begin young. I saw one wee baby, scarcely more than a year old,
+brought by his father to learn to make his offering at the shrine of
+Buddha. The father with difficulty balanced the little fellow in a
+kneeling position before a shrine, with the tiny brown hands raised in a
+supplicating attitude, and then retired a few steps to watch. Instantly
+the baby overbalanced and toppled forward on its face. He was picked up
+and placed in his former position, only to tumble down again when left.
+This performance was repeated about five times; the father never seemed
+to notice the humour of the situation--the baby certainly did not.
+
+One of the most interesting sights of Rangoon is that of the elephants.
+Ostensibly their work is to pile timber ready for embarkation on the
+river, but evidently they consider that they exist and work in order to
+be admired by all who pay them a visit.
+
+And well they deserve admiration! They go about their duties in a
+stately, leisurely manner, lifting the logs with trunk, tusks, and
+forefeet; piling them up with a push here, a pull there, and then
+marching to the end of the pile and contemplating the result with their
+heads on one side, to see if all are straight and firm. And they do all
+in such a stately, royal manner, that they give an air of dignity to the
+menial work, and one comes away with the feeling that to pile teak side
+by side with an elephant would be an honour worth living for.
+
+During my peregrinations round the town I was taken to see the home of
+the Indian Civilian, a huge imposing building, with such an air of
+awe-inspiring importance about every stick and stone, that none save
+those initiated into the secrets of the place, may enter without feeling
+deeply honoured by the permission to do so. Even a "Bombay Burman" could
+hardly approach, without losing some of his natural hardihood.
+
+[Illustration: ELEPHANT MOVING TIMBER]
+
+It may have been the awe with which this building inspired me, it may
+have been my visit to the Pagoda, with its air of mysticism and unknown
+possibilities, but when I retired to my large dimly lighted bed-room
+after my first day's wanderings in Rangoon, my natural courage forsook
+me, and I became the prey to a fit of appalling terrors.
+
+All the ghostly stories I had ever read of the spiritualism of the East,
+of the mystic powers of "Thugs," "Vampires" and other unpleasant beings,
+returned to my mind.
+
+For some time I could not sleep, and when at last I did sink into an
+uneasy doze I was haunted by nightmares of ghostly apparitions, and
+powerful and revengeful images of Gaudama.
+
+Suddenly I awoke with the feeling that something, I knew not what, had
+roused me from my uneasy slumber. And then, as I lay trembling and
+listening, out of darkness came a Voice, weird, uncanny, which exclaimed
+in solemn tones the mystic word "Tuctoo."
+
+What could it be? Was I one destined to learn deep secrets of the
+mystic world? Had the spirit, if spirit it were, some great truth to
+make known to me? if so, what a pity it did not speak English!
+
+"Tuctoo" remarked the voice again, this time rather impatiently.
+
+I racked my brains to think of a possible meaning for this mysterious
+word, but all in vain, I could understand nothing.
+
+"Tuctoo, tuctoo, tuctoo," it continued.
+
+And then, out of the darkness came another voice, an angry English
+voice, loud in its righteous indignation, the voice of my host.
+
+"Shut up you beast," he cried, and perhaps he added one or two more
+words suited to the occasion. I lay down and tried to pretend that I had
+not been frightened, and in doing so, fell asleep. I was introduced to
+the "Tuctoo" next day, but did not consider him a pleasant acquaintance.
+He is a lizard about a foot long, with a large red mouth, and a long
+wriggling tail; he reminded me of a baby alligator. He dwells on the
+inner walls of houses, and his presence in a house is supposed to bring
+good luck, but his tiresome habit of "tuctooing" in a most human voice
+at all hours of the day or night make him rather unpopular. We chased
+him down the wall with a long "Shan" spear and caught him in a towel,
+but he looked so very pugnacious that we did not detain him from his
+business.
+
+Of course the most important element of life in Rangoon, in fact in all
+Burmah, is the Gymkhana.
+
+Apparently, the European population in Rangoon exists solely in order to
+go to the Gymkhana. It attracts like a magnet. People may not intend to
+go there when they set out, but no matter how far afield they go, sooner
+or later in the evening they are bound to appear at the Gymkhana. If
+they did not go there in the daytime they would inevitably walk there in
+their sleep.
+
+This renowned Gymkhana is situate in the Halpin Road (pronounced
+"Hairpin," which is confusing to the uninitiated) and is a large, open,
+much verandaed, wooden building. Of the lower story, sacred to the male
+sex, I caught only a hurried glimpse in passing, and the impression left
+on my mind was a confusion of long men, reclining in long chairs, with
+long drinks.
+
+On my first visit to the upper regions, I fancied myself in a private
+lunatic asylum, for there, in a large room built for the purpose, were
+numbers of men and women, to all other appearances perfectly sane,
+waltzing round and round to the inspiriting music of the military band;
+dancing, in ordinary afternoon attire, not languidly, but vigorously and
+enthusiastically, and that in a temperature such as Shadrach, Meshech
+and Abednego never dreamed of.
+
+But I soon discovered that there was method in this madness, for the
+heat, when dancing, was so unspeakably awful that to sit still seemed
+quite cool in contrast, and it was worth the sufferings of the dance to
+feel cool afterwards, if only in imagination.
+
+In another room of the Gymkhana the ladies assemble to read their
+favourite magazines, or to glower from afar upon the early birds who
+have already appropriated them.
+
+And here I must pause to say a word in deprecation of the accusations
+of gossip and scandal, which are so frequently launched against the
+Anglo-Indian ladies. Not that I would for the world deny the existence
+of scandal, but what I wish to emphasise is, that the Anglo-Indians (at
+least those of the female sex) do not invent or repeat scandalous
+stories from pure love of the thing, nor from any desire to injure the
+characters of their neighbours. They are forced to do so by
+circumstances.
+
+For example, Mrs. A. arrives early at the Gymkhana, appropriates the
+newly arrived number of the "Gentlewoman," and seating herself
+comfortably in a good light, sets to work to read the paper from
+beginning to end.
+
+But soon Mrs. B. appears upon the scene, and alas! Mrs. B. has also come
+to the Gymkhana with the intention of reading from beginning to end the
+newly arrived number of the "Gentlewoman"; and, being human, Mrs. B., on
+finding her favourite paper already appropriated, is filled with a
+distaste for all other papers, and a consuming desire to read "The
+Gentlewoman," and "The Gentlewoman" only. If she cannot procure the
+paper right speedily, life holds no more happiness for her.
+
+But alas, Mrs. A. shows no intention of relinquishing her possession of
+the paper for many hours. In vain does Mrs. B. spread "Punch,"
+"Graphic," or "Sketch," temptingly before Mrs. A's abstracted eyes, she
+is not to be influenced by honest means. Then Mrs. B. has only one
+course left to her, and adopts it.
+
+First she seeks and obtains an assistant to the scheme, Mrs. C. The two
+ladies then draw near Mrs. A. (who tightens her hold on the paper as
+they approach) and seat themselves on either side of their victim.
+
+Mrs. C., assuming an expression of sweet innocence, entirely disguising
+the craft of her intentions, pretends to be deeply interested in last
+week's "Gazette," hoping thereby to demonstrate her lack of interest in
+fashion papers; Mrs. B. entices Mrs. A. into conversation.
+
+After a few desultory remarks, during which the aggressor still clings
+to her prey, Mrs. B., throwing a warning glance at Mrs. C. to prepare
+her, says in a voice fraught with deep mystery:
+
+"Were you not astonished to hear of so and so's engagement last week?"
+
+No, Mrs. A. was not particularly astonished.
+
+But surely Mrs. A. had heard that strange story about so and so's
+behaviour towards somebody else?
+
+Curious, Mrs. A. had not heard of it.
+
+Of course Mrs. B. would not mention it to anyone else, but Mrs. A., as
+every one knows, can be trusted, and really it was so strange.
+
+Then calling to her aid all her powers of imagination, Mrs. B. proceeds
+to relate some astounding invention concerning so and so. Gradually, as
+she becomes more interested in the recital, Mrs. A's. fingers relax
+their hold on the precious paper, and at last it is dropped, forgotten,
+upon the table.
+
+Now it is Mrs. C's. turn. In the most careless manner she draws the
+"Gentlewoman" slowly towards her, until it is out of reach of Mrs. A.,
+when she snatches it up eagerly, and retires to another table, where she
+is soon joined by the triumphant Mrs. B.
+
+Then poor Mrs. A., deprived of her newspaper must needs seek another
+one, but alas? they are all in use. Nothing remains for her to do but to
+imitate Mrs. B's conduct, and attract Mrs. D's attention from the paper
+she is reading, by repeating to her the story she has just heard, adding
+whatever new details may appear to her as most likely to arouse Mrs.
+D's. interest. And so the snowball grows.
+
+Thus it will be clear to all that the accusations are unfair, seeing
+that the gossip indulged in by the ladies at the Gymkhana is merely the
+outcome of circumstances, inventions being notoriously the children of
+necessity. It is obvious that were each lady in Burmah provided with
+every magazine and paper that her heart could desire, gossip would
+speedily cease to exist,--in the Ladies' Clubs.
+
+The most extraordinary vehicle that ever existed is the Rangoon "ticca
+gharry." For inconvenience, discomfort, and danger, it has never been
+surpassed. It has been excellently described as "a wooden packing case
+on wheels." I suppose it is a distant and unfashionable relation of the
+modern four wheeler, with wooden shutters in place of windows; very
+narrow, noisy, and uncomfortable. It is usually drawn by a long-tailed,
+ungroomed and brainless Burman pony, and is driven by one of the most
+extraordinary race of men that ever existed.
+
+The "Gharry Wallah's" appearance--but it is scarce meet to describe his
+appearance to the gentle reader; we will say his appearance is unusual.
+His mind and character have gained him his well earned right to be
+counted among the eccentricities of the age. He is sublime in his utter
+indifference to the world at large, in the cheerful manner in which he
+will drive, through, into, or over anything he happens to meet.
+
+But his most noted characteristic is utter indifference to the wishes
+of his "fare."
+
+I have often wondered what are the secret workings of the "Gharry
+Wallah's" mind. He cannot imagine, (no man, intelligent or otherwise,
+could imagine) that a human being drives in a "gharry" for the pure
+enjoyment of the thing; and yet he never seems to consider that his
+"fare" may desire to go to any particular destination. 'Tis vain to
+explain at great length, and with many forcible gestures, where one
+wishes to go; "he hears but heeds it not." The instant one enters the
+vehicle he begins to drive at a great rate in whatever direction first
+comes into his mind. He continues to drive in that direction until
+stopped, when he cheerfully turns round and drives another way, any way
+but the right one.
+
+No one has yet discovered where he would eventually drive to; many have
+had the curiosity but none the fortitude to undertake original research
+into the matter.
+
+It is presumed that, unless stopped, he would drive straight on till he
+died of starvation.
+
+Occasionally, by a judicious waving of umbrellas it may be possible to
+direct his course, but that only in the case of a very young driver. I
+have sometimes wondered whether perchance the pony may be the sinner,
+and the driver merely an innocent and unwilling accomplice. I cannot
+tell.
+
+But this I can say, if you crave for danger, if you seek penance, drive
+in a "ticca gharry," but if you desire to reach any particular
+destination in this century, don't.
+
+With the exception of a few leisure hours spent at the Gymkhana, the
+ladies of Rangoon devote their time and energy to writing "Chits."
+
+At first I was filled with a great wonder as to what might be the nature
+of these mysterious "Chits." I would be sitting peacefully talking with
+my hostess in the morning, when suddenly, a look of supreme unrest and
+anxiety comes over her face: "Excuse me, a moment" she exclaims, "I must
+just go and write a chit."
+
+She then hastens to her writing table, rapidly scribbles a few words,
+gives the paper to a servant, and then returns to me with an expression
+of relief and contentment.
+
+But scarce five minutes have elapsed, ere the look of anxiety again
+returns; again she writes a "chit," and again becomes relieved and
+cheerful, and so on throughout the day.
+
+And this, I discovered was the case with nearly every European lady in
+the country. I suppose it must be some malady engendered by the climate,
+only to be relieved by the incessant inditing of "chits." I myself never
+suffered from the ailment, but should doubtless have fallen a victim had
+I remained longer in the country.
+
+The contents and destination of these "chits" seem to be of little or no
+importance; so long as notes be written and despatched at intervals of
+ten minutes or so during the day, that is sufficient. What finally
+becomes of these "chits" I cannot pretend to say; whether they are
+merely taken away and burnt, or whether they have some place in the
+scheme of creation, I never discovered.
+
+Nor do I know whether the male population suffers from the same malady.
+Does the Indian Civilian, seated in his luxurious chamber in that
+awe-inspiring building of his, does he too spend his life in writing
+"chits"? Does the "Bombay Burman," in some far off jungle, "alone with
+nature undisturbed," does he too sit down 'neath the shade of the
+feathery bamboo, or the all embracing Peepul tree, and write and
+despatch "chits" to imaginary people, in imaginary houses, in an
+imaginary town?
+
+I know not, it is futile to speculate further upon the matter. The
+mystery of "chit" writing is too deep for me.
+
+I would gladly have remained longer in Rangoon, but it might not be.
+Mine was no mere visit of pleasure; I had travelled to Burmah in search
+of adventure, such as is scarcely to be met with in the garden party,
+dinner party, and dance life of Rangoon. And so, one hot afternoon, with
+anxious beating heart, I said "Good bye" to security and civilisation,
+and set forth on my journey to Mandalay!
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+THE ROAD TO MANDALAY.
+
+     "I travelled among unknown men,
+         In lands beyond the Sea."--(Wordsworth).
+
+
+     "Where the tints of the earth, and the hues of the sky,
+     In colour tho' varied, in beauty may vie."--(Byron).
+
+
+The distance by rail from Rangoon to Mandalay is 386 miles, and it takes
+twenty-two hours to accomplish the journey. Trains, like everything else
+in this leisurely country, are not given to hurrying themselves. "Hasti,
+hasti, always go hasti" is the motto for Burmah. As an example of the
+unintelligible nature of the language I may explain that "Hasti" means
+"slow!"
+
+It is a pleasant journey however, for the carriages are most
+comfortable, and the scenery through which the rail passes affords
+plenty of interest to a new comer.
+
+I enjoyed my journey, therefore, immensely. I left Rangoon about five
+o'clock in the afternoon, well provided with books, fruit and chocolates
+for the journey, and under the protection of a hideous Madrassee Ayah.
+
+I believe she was in reality a worthy old creature, but she was so
+exceedingly ugly, so very unintelligible (though most persistent in her
+efforts at conversation) and so intolerably stupid, that I could not
+feel much affection for her, and I only consented to put up with her
+company as a protection against the thieves who haunt the various
+halting places along the line, ready to steal into carriages and carry
+away all the portable property of the traveller. I had heard such blood
+curdling stories of these train thieves that I should have felt quite
+nervous about undertaking the journey, had I not fortunately disbelieved
+them.
+
+I do not for an instant believe my ayah would have been any real
+protection, for whenever we stopped she was seized with an overpowering
+hunger, and spent all her time bargaining with the vendors of bananas,
+huge red prawns, decayed fish, dried fruits, cakes, and other horrible
+articles, who swarmed upon the stations.
+
+These delicacies, and others which she prevailed upon my tender heart
+to buy for her, she wrapped up in a large red pocket handkerchief, and
+hid under the seat; what was their final fate I cannot pretend to say,
+but for her sake I trust she didn't eat them.
+
+She was a much travelled lady and had visited many of the towns along
+the route, and persisted in waking me up at all odd hours of the night,
+to point out the houses where her various Mem-Sahibs had lived, or the
+bungalows inhabited by the commissioners, matters in which I was not at
+all interested.
+
+She kept me awake with long rambling stories about her many relations,
+stories which, as they were told in the most vague and unintelligible
+"pigeon English" I found it very difficult to understand, but the gist
+of all was that she was very old and very poor, and she was sure I was a
+very kind and generous "Missie," and would not fail to reward her
+handsomely for her services.
+
+I failed to discover what these same services might be, for beyond
+fanning me vigorously when I did not require it, and at three o'clock in
+the morning procuring me from somewhere an unpleasant mixture she called
+coffee, and which I was obliged to throw secretly out of the window, she
+did nothing except talk. I suppose she was really no worse than the rest
+of her tribe, and cannot be blamed for getting as much as she could out
+of her exceedingly innocent and easily humbugged "missie."
+
+At the first station at which we stopped, I was much astonished to see
+all the natives on the platform come and kneel down in the humblest
+manner round the door of my carriage, and remain there "shekkohing" and
+pouring forth polite speeches in Burmese, until our train left the
+station.
+
+I have never been backward in my high opinion of my own importance, but
+I hardly expected the fame of my presence to have spread to this distant
+land, and felt considerably embarrassed, though, of course, highly
+gratified, by such unexpected tokens of respect.
+
+I received these attentions at every station with the most royal bows
+and smiles, until at last, on dismounting from the train at the dining
+station, I discovered that the carriage next to mine was occupied by a
+noble Shan Chief and his retinue, and it was to him, not to my
+insignificant person, that all this homage was paid. I felt quite
+annoyed at the discovery. He was really such a hideous, yellow, dirty
+old man, and he sat at the window, surrounded by his wives and
+attendants, smoking grumpily, and paying not the least attention to the
+flattering speech of his admirers, who must have been far more gratified
+by my gracious condescension.
+
+The chief stared at me a great deal when I passed his window to re-enter
+my carriage, and shortly after the train was again set in motion he sent
+one of his wives to inspect me, possibly with a view to offering me a
+position among the number of his dusky spouses. She opened the door, and
+stared at me for some time, taking not the slightest notice of my
+requests that she would withdraw, until she had sufficiently examined
+me, when she retired as abruptly as she had appeared, and I lost no time
+in securing the door behind her.
+
+Evidently her report was not satisfactory, for I have heard no more of
+the episode. Possibly, she reported that I looked bad tempered; I
+certainly felt so!
+
+What a fascinating journey that was. During the first part of the route
+the country is less interesting, consisting merely of flat stretches of
+Paddy fields and low jungle scrub. But all this I passed through by
+night, when the soft moonlight lent a witching beauty to the scene.
+
+There is something so inexplicably beautiful about night in the east, so
+comparatively cool, so clear, so quiet, and yet so full of mysterious
+sound,
+
+
+     "A little noiseless noise among the leaves,
+     Born of the very sigh that silence heaves."
+
+
+The cloudless heavens sparkle with a myriad stars, the moonlight seems
+brighter and more golden than elsewhere, and the noisy, weary, worn old
+earth hides away her tinsel shams and gaudiness, which the cruel
+sunlight so pitilessly exposes, and appears grander and nobler under
+night's kindly sway.
+
+The scenery in Upper Burmah is exceedingly fine. The great rocky hills,
+each crowned with its pagoda, rise on all sides, stretching away into
+the distance till they become only blue shadows. Everywhere are groves
+of bananas and palm trees, forests of teak and bamboo, and vast tracks
+of jungle, attired in the gayest colours.
+
+The pagodas, mostly in a half-ruined condition, are far more numerous
+here than in Lower Burmah, and raise their white and golden heads from
+every towering cleft of rock, and every mossy grove. As we neared
+Mandalay we passed many groups of half-ruined shrines, images and
+pagodas, covered with moss and creeper, deserted by the human beings who
+erected them, and visited now only by the birds and other jungle folk,
+who build their nests and make their homes in the shade of the once
+gorgeous buildings. They look very picturesque, rising above the
+tangled undergrowth that surrounds them, but pitifully lonely.
+
+We stopped at a great number of stations en route. The platforms were
+always crowded with natives of every description, at all hours of the
+day and night, selling their wares, greeting their friends, or smoking
+contentedly, and viewing with complacency the busy scene.
+
+The natives of India, with their fierce sullen faces, frightened me; the
+cunning Chinese, ever ready to drive a hard bargain, amused but did not
+attract me; but the merry, friendly little Burmese were a continual
+delight.
+
+They swaggered up and down in their picturesque costumes, smoking their
+huge cheroots, the men regarding with self-satisfied and amused contempt
+the noisy chattering crowd of Madrassees and Chinese, the women
+coquetting in the most graceful and goodnatured way with everyone in
+turn. When they had paid their devoirs to the old chief, they would
+crowd round my carriage window offering their wares, taking either my
+consent or refusal to be a purchaser as the greatest joke, and laughing
+merrily at my vain attempts to understand them.
+
+I fell in love with them on the spot, they are such jolly people and
+such thorough gentlefolk.
+
+It was very interesting in the early morning to watch the signs of
+awakening life in the many Burmese villages through which we passed. To
+see the caravans of bullock carts or mules setting out on their journey
+to the neighbouring town, and the pretty little Burmese girls coquetting
+with their admirers as they carried water from the well, or chattering
+and whispering merrily together as they performed their toilet by the
+stream, decking their hair with flowers and ribbons, and donning their
+delicately coloured pink and green "tamehns."
+
+Here we met a procession of yellow-robed "hpoongyis" and their
+followers, marching through the village with their begging bowls, to
+give the villagers an opportunity of performing the meritorious duty of
+feeding them. There a procession of men, women, and children walking
+sedately towards a pagoda, with offerings of fruit or flowers; to
+contemplate the image of the mighty Gaudama, to hear the reading of the
+Word, and to meditate upon the Holy Life. Now we passed a group of
+little hpoongyi pupils with their shaven crowns and yellow robes,
+sitting solemnly round their teacher in the open-sided kyaung. Anon we
+passed a jovial crew of merrymakers in their most brilliantly coloured
+costumes, jogging along gaily behind their ambling bullocks, to some Pwé
+or Pagoda Feast, which they are already enjoying in anticipation.
+
+And the strange part of it all is that nowhere does one see sorrow,
+poverty, or suffering; outwardly at least, all is bright and happy. I
+suppose the Burman must have his troubles like other folk, but if so he
+hides them extremely well under a cheerful countenance. Surely in no
+other inhabited country could we travel so far without beholding some
+sign of misery.
+
+I think the great charm of Burmah lies in the happiness and brightness
+of its people; their merriment is infectious, and they make others
+happy by the mere sight of their contentment.
+
+We arrived at Mandalay about three o'clock in the afternoon. The last
+few hours of the journey were most unpleasantly hot, and I was very glad
+when we steamed into the station, and I saw my brother-in-law (who had
+descended from his "mountain heights" to meet me) waiting on the
+platform. The journey had been delightful in many ways, but after being
+twenty-two hours boxed up in a railway carriage with a chattering ayah,
+it was a great relief to reach one's destination at last.
+
+When I arrived in Mandalay I was filled with an overwhelming gratitude
+towards Mr. Rudyard Kipling for his poem on the subject.
+
+Rangoon, fascinating and interesting though it be, is yet chiefly an
+Anglo-Indian town, but Mandalay, though the Palace and Throne room have
+been converted into a club, though its Pagodas and shrines have been
+desecrated by the feet of the alien, and though its bazaar has become a
+warehouse for the sale of Birmingham and Manchester imitations, yet,
+spite of all, this former stronghold of the Kings of Burmah still
+retains its ancient charm.
+
+When first I experienced the fascination of this wonderful town, my
+feelings were too deep for expression, and I suffered as a soda water
+bottle must suffer, until the removal of the cork brings relief.
+Suddenly there flashed into my mind three lines of Mr. Kipling's poem,
+and as I wandered amid "them spicy garlic smells, the sunshine and the
+palm trees and the tinkly temple bells," I relieved my feelings by
+repeating those wonderfully descriptive lines; I was once again happy,
+and I vowed an eternal gratitude to the author.
+
+Before the end of my two days stay in Mandalay I began to look on him as
+my bitterest foe, and to regard the publication of that poem as a
+personal injury.
+
+The Hotel in which we stayed was also occupied by a party of American
+"Globe Trotters." In all probability they were delightful people, as
+are most of their countrymen. They were immensely popular among the
+native hawkers, who swarmed upon the door steps and verandahs, and sold
+them Manchester silks and glass rubies at enormous prices. But we
+acquired a deeply rooted objection to them, springing from their desire
+to live up to their surroundings.
+
+We should have forgiven them, had they confined themselves to eating
+Eastern fruits and curries, wearing flowing Burmese silken dressing
+gowns, and smattering their talk with Burmese and Hindustani words. But
+these things did not satisfy them. Evidently they believed that they
+could only satisfactorily demonstrate their complete association with
+their surroundings, by singing indefatigably, morning, noon, and night,
+that most un-Burmese song, "Mandalay."
+
+They sang it hour after hour, during the whole of the two days we spent
+in the place.
+
+In their bedrooms, and about the town they hummed and whistled it,
+during meals they quoted and recited it. At night, and when we took our
+afternoon siesta, they sang it boldly, accompanying one another on the
+cracked piano, and all joining in the chorus with a conscientious
+heartiness that did them credit.
+
+We tossed sleepless on our couches, wearied to death of this endless
+refrain that echoed through the house: or, if in a pause between the
+verses we fell asleep for a few seconds, it was only to dream of a
+confused mixture of "Moulmein Pagodas," flying elephants, and fishes
+piling teak, till we were once again awakened by the uninteresting and
+eternally reiterated information that "the dawn comes up like thunder
+out of China 'cross the Bay."
+
+The only relief we enjoyed, was that afforded by one member of the party
+who sang cheerfully: "On the Banks of Mandalay," thereby displaying a
+vagueness of detail regarding the geographical peculiarities of the
+place, which is so frequently (though no doubt wrongly) attributed to
+his nation.
+
+And here I pause with the uncomfortable feeling that in writing my
+experiences of Burmah, I ought to make some attempt to describe this
+far-famed city of Mandalay, the wonders of its palaces, the richness of
+its pagodas, the brilliancy of its silk bazaar, and its other thousand
+charms.
+
+But such a task is beyond me. Others may aspire to paint in glowing
+colours the fascinations of this royal town, and the beauty of the
+wonderful buildings; but in my modesty I refrain, for to my great regret
+I saw little of them. My stay in the town was too short, and I was too
+weary after my journey, to admit of much sight-seeing. Beyond a short
+drive through the delightful eastern streets, and a hurried glimpse of
+the Throne Room, I saw nothing of the place, and the only thing I
+clearly recollect is the Moat, which I admired immensely, mistaking it
+for the far-famed Irrawaddy!
+
+Therefore I will pass by Mandalay with that silent awe which we always
+extend to the Unknown, and leave it to cleverer pens than mine to depict
+its charms. "I cannot sing of that I do not know," especially nowadays
+when so many people _do_ know, and are quite ready to tell one so.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+THE JOURNEY TO THE HILLS.
+
+     "Old as the chicken that Kitmûtgars bring
+     Men at dâk bungalows,--old as the hills."
+                                    (Rudyard Kipling.)
+
+
+     The horse who never in that sort
+     Had handled been before,
+     What thing upon his back had got
+     Did wonder more and more.--"John Gilpin."
+
+
+We left Mandalay at half-past three in the morning, (our heavy baggage
+having preceded us in bullock carts the night before) and with our
+bedding and hand baggage packed with ourselves into a "ticca gharry," we
+started at that unearthly hour on our seventeen miles drive to the foot
+of the hills, where our ponies awaited us.
+
+As we left the last lights of the town behind us, and drove out into the
+dreary looking country beyond, I was filled with a mixture of elation
+and alarm, but when my brother-in-law (I knew not whether seriously or
+in fun) remarked that he hoped we should meet no dacoits, the feeling of
+alarm predominated.
+
+It would be an adventure, and I had come there purposely for adventure,
+but an adventure does not appear so fascinating in the dark at three
+o'clock in the morning, as it does at noonday. I was quite willing to
+have it postponed. However my companion seemed at home, and settled
+himself to sleep in his corner, so I endeavoured to do likewise.
+
+But somehow sleep seemed impossible. The shaking and rattling of the
+uncomfortable "gharry," the strange shadows of the trees, and the dark
+waste of paddy fields stretching before and around us, faintly showing
+in the mysterious grey light of the dawn, all combined to prevent me
+from following my brother's example.
+
+On and on we drove along that interminable road, cramped, weary, and
+impatient; I sat in silence with closed eyes, waiting longingly for the
+end of our journey, wondering what strange people inhabited this dreary
+tract of land, and dreaming of the possible adventures to be encountered
+in the wild country towards which we were travelling.
+
+Suddenly the gharry stopped abruptly; there was a loud cry from the
+gharry wallah, a confused medley of Burmese voices, and I sprang up to
+find we were surrounded by a large body of evil looking men, armed with
+"dahs." We were "held up" by dacoits!
+
+My brother started up, shouting eager threats and imprecations to the
+men, and sprang from the carriage. I caught a glimpse of him surrounded
+by natives, fighting fiercely with his back to the carriage door, while
+he shouted to me to hand him his revolver from the back seat of the
+gharry.
+
+But ere I could do so, my attention was called to the matter of my own
+safety. Three natives had come round to my side of the gharry, the door
+was wrenched open, and a huge native flourishing a large "dah" rushed at
+me, evidently with the intention of procuring the revolver himself.
+
+At that moment all feelings of fear left me, and I only felt furiously
+angry. Quickly I seized my large roll of bedding, and pulling it down
+before me received the blow in the folds; then when the knife was
+buried in the clothes, I crashed the revolver with all my force in the
+face of the dacoit, and he fell unconscious at my feet, leaving the
+"dah" in my possession.
+
+The remaining natives rushed at me, and I had no time to lose. Pulling
+down my brother's bedding roll, I doubled my defence, and from behind it
+endeavoured to stab at the attacking natives with the captured "dah,"
+dodging their blows behind my barricade. The door of the gharry was
+narrow, and they could only come at me one at a time.
+
+After playing "bo peep" over my blankets for a little time, they
+retired, and I was just turning to assist my brother, when suddenly,
+they rushed my defence, one behind the other, pushed over my barricade
+with me under it, fell on the top themselves, and we all rolled a
+confused heap on the bottom of the gharry.
+
+At that moment the man at the pony's head relaxed his hold on the
+bridle, and the animal, with a speed and energy unusual in Burmese
+ponies, escaped and galloped down the road, dragging behind it the
+battered gharry, on the floor of which I and the two natives were
+struggling.
+
+Faster and faster went the pony, till we seemed to be flying through the
+air, the door hanging open, and we three fighting for life inside. I
+made haste to crawl under a seat, and again barricaded myself with my
+bedding roll, but it was quite clear to me that the struggle could not
+last much longer; I was at my wit's end, and my strength was nearly
+exhausted.
+
+Then the natives climbed on to the seat opposite, and pulled and pushed
+my barricade, until at last I could hold it no longer. They dragged it
+away, and threw it from the gharry. My neck was seized between two slimy
+brown hands, I was pulled from my hiding place, a dark evil looking face
+peered gloatingly into mine, and then I suppose I lost consciousness,
+for I remember nothing more until----I awoke, and found we had arrived
+at the foot of the hills; not a dacoit had we encountered, and the whole
+affair had been only a dream.
+
+I was disappointed: I feel I shall never be so heroic again, or have
+such another opportunity for the display of my bravery.
+
+I cannot remember the name of the village at the foot of the hills where
+we found our ponies waiting, and I certainly could not spell it if I
+did. It consisted of a mere half a dozen native huts, set down by the
+road side, and looked a most deserted little place. While our ponies
+were saddled, and our baggage transferred from the gharry to the bullock
+cart in attendance, we walked round the village, very glad to stretch
+our legs after the cramped ride.
+
+All the natives stared at us, as they went leisurely about their daily
+work; the girls in their brightly coloured, graceful dresses, going
+slowly to the well, carrying their empty kerosene oil cans, the almost
+universal water pots of the Burman; the men lounging about, smoking big
+cheroots, and evidently lost in deep meditation; and the old women
+sitting in their low bamboo huts, grinding paddy, cooking untempting
+looking mixtures, or presiding over the sale of various dried fruits
+and other articles, for in Burmah there is rarely a house where
+something is not sold.
+
+On the whole, we on our part did not excite very much interest. It needs
+more than the advent of two strangers to rouse the contemplative Burman
+from his habitual state of dreaminess.
+
+In one hut I saw a family sitting round their meal, laughing and
+chatting merrily, while a wee baby, clad in gorgeous silk attire (it
+looked like the mother's best dress) danced before them in the funniest
+and most dignified manner, encouraged and coached by an elder sister,
+aged about seven. They looked such a merry party that I quite longed to
+join them, for I was beginning to feel hungry, but I changed my mind on
+a nearer view of the breakfast, a terrible mixture of rice and curried
+vegetables, with what looked remarkably like decayed fish for a relish.
+
+All this time, though outwardly calm and happy, I was inwardly suffering
+from ever increasing feelings of dread at the thought of the ordeal
+before me. As I have explained elsewhere, I have always had a terror of
+horses, and had not ridden for eleven years, not in fact since I was a
+child, and then I invariably fell off with or without any provocation.
+But here was I, with twenty-six miles of rough road between me and my
+destination, and no way of traversing that distance save on horseback.
+Knowing my peculiarities, my brother had begged the very quietest pony
+from the police lines at Mandalay, the animal bearing this reputation
+stood saddled before me, and I could think of no further excuse for
+longer delaying our start.
+
+Accordingly, I advanced nervously towards the pony, who looked at me out
+of the corners of his eyes in an inexplicable manner, and after three
+unsuccessful attempts, and much unwonted embracing of my brother, I at
+last succeeded in mounting, and the reins (an unnecessary number of them
+it seemed to me) were thrust into my hands.
+
+I announced myself quite comfortable and ready to start; may Heaven
+forgive the untruth! But evidently my steed was not prepared to depart.
+I "clucked" and shook the reins, and jumped up and down on the saddle in
+the most encouraging way, but the pony made no movement.
+
+My brother, already mounted and off, shouted to me to "come on." It was
+all very well to shout in that airy fashion, I couldn't well "come on"
+without the pony, and the pony wouldn't.
+
+At last he did begin to move, backwards!
+
+This was a circumstance for which I was wholly unprepared. If a horse
+runs away, naturally, he is to be stopped by pulling the reins, but if
+he runs away backwards, there seems nothing to be done; whipping only
+encourages him to run faster. I tried to turn the pony round, so that if
+he persisted in continuing to walk backwards, we might at any rate
+progress in the right direction, but he preferred not to turn, and I did
+not wish to insist, lest he should become annoyed; to annoy him at the
+very outset of the journey I felt would be the height of imprudence.
+
+The natives of the village gathered round, and with that wonderful
+capacity for innocent enjoyment for which the Burmese are noted, watched
+the performance with the deepest interest and delight, while I could do
+nothing but try to appear at ease, as though I really preferred to
+travel in that manner.
+
+At last however, my brother would wait no longer, and shouting to the
+orderly and sais, he made them seize the bridle of my wilful pony, and
+drag us both forcibly from the village.
+
+And so we started.
+
+Oh! that ride--what a nightmare it was! The pony justified his
+reputation, and was certainly the most quiet animal imaginable. He
+preferred not to move at all, but when forced to do so, the pace was
+such that a snail could easily have given him fifty yards start in a
+hundred, and a beating, without any particular exertion. He did not
+walk, he crawled.
+
+In vain did I encourage him in every language I knew, in vain did the
+sais and orderly ride behind beating him, or in front pulling him, our
+efforts were of no avail. Once or twice, under great persuasion, he
+broke into what faintly suggested a trot, for about two minutes, but
+speedily relapsed again into his former undignified crawl.
+
+My brother at last lost patience and rode on ahead, leaving me to the
+tender mercies of the sais, who, no longer under the eye of his master,
+and seeing no reason to hurry, soon ceased his efforts, and we jogged on
+every minute more slowly, till I fell into a sleepy trance, dreaming
+that I should continue thus for ever, riding slowly along through the
+silent Burmese jungle, wrapped in its heavy noon-day sleep, till I too
+should sink under the spell of the sleep god, and become part of the
+silence around me.
+
+But the scenery was glorious, and I had ample time to admire it. Our
+road wound up the side of a jungle clad hill, around and above us rose
+other hills covered with the gorgeous vari-coloured jungle trees and
+shrubs. Immediately below us lay a deep wooded ravine, shut in by the
+hills, and far away behind us stretched miles and miles of paddy fields
+and open country shrouded in a pale blue-grey mist. I cannot imagine
+grander scenery; what most nearly approach it are views in Saxon
+Switzerland, but the latter can be compared only as an engraving to a
+painting, the colour being lacking.
+
+What most impressed me was the absolute silence, and the utter absence
+of any sign of human life. All round us lay miles and miles of unbroken
+jungle, inhabited only by birds and beasts; all nature seemed silent,
+mysterious, and void of human sympathies as in the first days of the
+world, before man came to conquer, and in conquering to destroy the
+charm. It is impossible quite to realise this awe-inspiring loneliness
+of the jungle
+
+
+     "Where things that own not man's dominion dwell."
+     "And mortal foot hath ne'er or rarely been."
+
+
+We halted for breakfast at a small wayside village, where we found the
+usual mat "dâk" bungalow, guarded by the usual extortionate khansamah,
+and surrounded by the usual dismal compound full of chickens.
+
+Here it was that I made my first acquaintance with the world renowned
+Burmese chicken, an acquaintance destined to become more and more close,
+until it blossomed into a deep and never to be forgotten hatred.
+
+The Burmese chicken, whose name is legion, is a thin haggard looking
+fowl, chiefly noted for his length of leg, and utter absence of
+superfluous flesh. He picks up a precarious living in the compounds of
+the houses to which he is attached, and leads a sad, anxious life, owing
+to the fact that he is generally recognised as the legitimate prey of
+any man or beast, who at any time of the day or night may be seized with
+a desire to "chivy."
+
+Consequently he wears a harassed, expectant look, knowing that the end
+will overtake him suddenly and without warning. One hour he is happily
+fighting with his comrades over a handful of grain, within the next he
+has been killed, cooked, and eaten without pity, though frequently with
+after feelings of repentance on the part of the eater.
+
+It is, doubtless, the kindly heart of the native cook that prevents him
+killing the bird more than half an hour before the remains are due at
+table; he does not wish to cut off a happy life sooner than is
+absolutely necessary. It is, doubtless too, the same gentle heart that
+induces him to single out for slaughter the most ancient of fowls,
+leaving the young and tender (if a Burmese chicken ever is tender) still
+to rejoice in their youth. If this be so, there is displayed a trait of
+native character deserving appreciation--which appreciation the result,
+however, fails as a rule to secure.
+
+It is wonderful what a variety of disguises a Burmese chicken can take
+upon itself. The quick change artist is nowhere in comparison.
+
+It appears successively as soup, joint, hash, rissoles, pie, patties and
+game. It is covered with rice, onions, and almonds, and raisins, and
+dubbed "pillau"; it is covered with cayenne pepper and called a savoury.
+It is roasted, boiled, baked, potted, and curried, and once I knew an
+enterprising housekeeper mix it with sardines and serve up a half truth
+in the shape of "fish cakes."
+
+But under whatever name it may appear, in whatever form it be disguised,
+it may be invariably recognised by the utter absence of any flavour
+whatever.
+
+After breakfast, my brother assumed his most stern judicial expression
+and gave me to understand gently but firmly, that he refused to continue
+our journey under existing circumstances, and that if I really could not
+induce my pony to progress faster, I must mount that of the orderly, and
+leave the laggard to be dealt with by a male hand. I could not object; I
+was alone in a distant land far from the protection of my family; I
+could only agree to the proposal with reluctance, and disclaim all
+responsibility with regard to my own or the new pony's safety.
+
+Accordingly, the saddles were changed, much to the dissatisfaction of
+the orderly, and I was speedily mounted on my new steed.
+
+At first the exchange appeared to be an improvement. The pony had a
+brisk walk, and we progressed quite as rapidly as I wished. I began to
+feel an accomplished horse-woman, and when my brother suggested a two
+miles canter, I consented after but a few objections.
+
+We started gaily, and we did canter two miles without a break, and the
+pony and I did not part company during the proceedings, but that is all
+I can say.
+
+I have frequently heard foolish people talk of the unspeakable joy of a
+wild gallop, the delightful motion, the exhilaration of rushing through
+the air, with a good horse beneath you. Once I listened to such talkers
+with credulity, now I listen in astonishment. Our gallop was wild enough
+in all conscience, but after the first three minutes I became convinced
+it was the most uncomfortable way of getting about I had ever
+experienced.
+
+I started elegantly enough, gripping my pummel tightly between my knees,
+and sitting bolt upright, but I soon gave up all ideas of putting on
+unnecessary "side" of that sort; this ride was no fancy exhibition, it
+was grim earnest.
+
+I and the pony were utterly out of sympathy with one another, and I am
+sure the latter did all he could to be tiresome out of pure
+"cussedness." Whenever I bumped down, he seemed to bump up, and the
+result was painful; whenever I pulled the reins he merely tossed his
+head scornfully; and I am sure the saddle must have been slipping about
+(though it appeared firm enough afterwards), for I landed on all parts
+of it in turn.
+
+To add to my troubles my sola topee became objectionable.
+
+It was not an ordinary looking topee; it being my first visit to the
+East, of course I had procured an exceedingly large one, and in addition
+to its great size, it was very heavy and very ugly. I fancy it was
+originally intended to be helmet shaped, but its maker had allowed his
+imagination to run away with him, and when finished, it was the most
+extraordinary looking headdress that ever spoilt the appearance of a
+naturally beautiful person.
+
+It resembled rather a swollen plum pudding in a very large dish, than a
+respectable sola topee.
+
+It was so constructed inside as to fit no existingly shaped human head,
+and consequently required to be balanced with the greatest care. By dint
+of sitting very upright I had succeeded in keeping it on my head during
+the earlier stages of my journey, but now I had more important matters
+to think of than sola topees, and consequently it became grievously
+offended, and (being abnormally sensitive, as are most deformed
+creatures) it commenced to wobble about in a most alarming manner.
+
+On and on we went. I had almost ceased to have any feeling in my legs
+and body, and began to wonder vaguely what strange person's head had got
+on to my shoulders, it seemed to fit so loosely. We flew past the second
+milestone, but my brother, who rode just ahead of me, absorbed no doubt
+in the joys of the gallop, never stayed his reckless course. I could not
+stop my pony, because both hands were, of course, engaged in holding on
+to the saddle. I lost my stirrup; it was never any good to me, but my
+foot felt lonely without it. My knees were cramped, my head ached, and
+finally my sola topee, unable longer to endure its undignified wobble,
+descended slowly over my face and hung there by its elastic, effectually
+blocking out everything from my sight.
+
+I would have infinitely preferred to have fallen off, but did not know
+how to do so comfortably.
+
+At last, with a mighty effort I crouched in the saddle, gingerly
+released one hand, pushed aside the topee from before my mouth, and
+yelled to my brother to stop. He turned, saw something unusual in my
+appearance, and, thank goodness! stopped.
+
+It could not have lasted much longer; either I or the pony would have
+been obliged to give way. When I indignantly explained to my brother
+what the pony had been doing, all he said was that he hoped to goodness
+I had not given it a sore back. I know its back could not have been a
+quarter as sore as was mine! I did not gallop again that or any other
+day.
+
+
+We spent the night in another "dâk" bungalow, consisting of three mat
+walled sleeping apartments, scantily furnished, and an open veranda
+where we dined. We dined off chicken variously disguised, and being very
+stiff and weary, retired early to bed.
+
+During dinner, my brother casually remarked that on his last visit there
+he had killed a snake in the roof, and on retiring to my room I
+remembered his words and trembled.
+
+I don't know much about snakes, save only that a "king cobra" alone will
+attack without provocation; therefore, if one is attacked, the reptile
+is almost certain to be a snake of that species.
+
+What precautions should therefore be taken to defend one's life I have
+not ascertained, but I give the information as affording at any rate
+some satisfaction in case of attack.
+
+The roof of my room was thatched, and looked the very dwelling place of
+snakes, and how could I possibly defend myself from attack (supposing
+king cobras inhabited that district), when they might drop down on me
+while I slept, or come up through the chinks and holes in the wooden
+floor, and bite my feet when I was getting into bed? The situation was a
+desperate one. What was to be done?
+
+After half an hour, I was forced to abandon my plan of sitting up all
+night on the table, under my green sun-umbrella; the table was so
+rickety that I fell off whenever I dozed, and the situation became
+painful.
+
+At last a new plan occurred to me. I took a wild leap from the table to
+the bed, and succeeded in rigging up a tent with the mosquito curtain
+props, and a sheet. Then, secure from all dangers from below or above, I
+fell fast asleep, and awoke next morning to find myself still alive and
+unharmed.
+
+I am convinced that more than one cunning serpent that night returned
+foiled to its lair, having at last encountered a degree of cunning
+surpassing its own.
+
+We made an early start next morning, as we had still twelve miles to
+ride before the day grew hot.
+
+The orderly objected to ride further on a snail, and had put my saddle
+once more on my original pony, so I finished my ride without further
+mishap.
+
+It was a delicious morning; the early lights and shadows of dawn and
+sunrise enhanced the beauty of the richly coloured jungle bordering the
+road. On all sides we were surrounded by the tall, dark, waving trees,
+and the thick green, pink, golden, and red-brown under-growth, save
+occasionally when the close bushes were cleared a little, and we caught
+tempting glimpses of shady moss covered glades, chequered by the
+sunlight peering through the thick leaves. Everything was very still,
+and except for the soft whisper of the jungle grass, a great silence
+brooded over all.
+
+Suddenly there broke upon my ears a strange sound, weird, mystic,
+wonderful. It was a heavy, grating, creaking noise, more horrible than
+aught I had heard before. Nearer and nearer it came; and now it could be
+distinguished as the cry of some mighty beast in pain, for the first and
+fundamental noise was varied by shrill screams and deep, painful
+groans. Was it a wounded elephant? No! surely no living elephant ever
+gave voice to such terrible, awe-inspiring sounds. It must be some far
+mightier beast, some remnant of the prehistoric ages, which remained
+still to drag out a lonely existence, hidden from human eyes, in this
+far Burmese jungle.
+
+But now it was close upon us; the noise was deafening, making day
+hideous; round the corner of the road appeared four huge, horns, two
+meek looking white heads, and----a bullock cart.
+
+That was the sole cause of this hideous disturbance, of these
+ear-piercing shrieks which rent the air. As usual, the wheels of the
+cart were formed of solid circles of wood, not even rounded, and
+carefully unoiled, and from these emanated those horrible shrieks,
+groans, and creaks, which are the delight and security of the Burmese
+driver, and the terror of tigers and panthers haunting the road.
+
+How eminently peaceful must be the life of the bullock-cart driver! He
+knows no hurry, no anxiety, no responsibility.
+
+Hour after hour, day after day he jogs along, seated on the front of his
+cart, occasionally rousing himself to joke and gossip with friends he
+may meet on the way, or to encourage his team by means of his long
+bamboo stick, but more often he sits wrapped in a deep sleep, or
+meditation, trusting for guidance to the meek solemn-faced bullocks
+which he drives. His work is done, his life is passed in one long
+continuous, sleeping, smoking, and eating sort of existence; the thought
+of such a life of careless, uneventful, unambitious happiness, is
+appalling.
+
+[Illustration: BURMESE BULLOCK CART]
+
+I grew somewhat weary of the frequent opportunities I had of studying
+the bullock carts and their drivers during that morning ride. Every cart
+jogged on its noisy way along the very centre of the road; but it is not
+meet that a Sahib and a representative of the great Queen should occupy
+anything but the very centre of the road when taking his rides abroad.
+Consequently whenever we met a bullock cart both cavalcades had to stop.
+It was a work of time to make the driver hear the orderly's voice,
+above the creaking of the wheels; more time was occupied in rousing him
+from his sleep, and explaining to him the situation; and more time again
+in explaining matters to the bullocks, and inducing them to drag the
+cart into the ditch.
+
+It took five minutes to pass each cart, and as we met a great many that
+morning as we approached the village, our progress was considerably
+delayed. I should have preferred for the sake of speed to have ridden in
+the ditch myself; at the same time I am aware such opinions are unworthy
+of the relation of an Indian Civilian.
+
+
+My entrance into Remyo, the future scene of my experiences, at half-past
+ten that morning was striking, though hardly dignified.
+
+Picture to yourself a sorrowful, huddled figure, seated on a weary
+dishevelled looking pony, covered from head to foot with red dust, and
+surmounted by a large battered topee "tip-tilted like the petal of a
+flower." I had long ceased to make any pretence at riding. I sat
+sideways on my saddle, as one sits in an Irish car, grasping in one hand
+the pummel and in the other my large green sun umbrella, for the sun was
+terribly hot. How weary I was, and how overjoyed at arriving at my
+destination!
+
+But even yet my troubles were not over. There was the house, there my
+sister waiting in the veranda to welcome me, but directly my pony
+arrived at the gate of the compound he stopped dead. Apparently it was
+not in the bond that I should be carried up to the door, and so no
+further would he go. I was too impatient to argue the matter, too weary
+to give an exhibition of horsemanship, so there was nothing to do but
+descend, walk up the compound, and tumble undignifiedly into the house,
+where the first thing I did was to register a vow that never again,
+except in a case of life and death, would I attempt to ride a Burmese
+pony.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+AN UP-COUNTRY STATION.
+
+     "Far from the madding crowd's ignoble strife."--(Gray.)
+
+
+I daresay that Remyo is very like other small up-country stations in
+Burmah, but to me it appeared to be the very end of the earth, so
+different was it from all I had expected. It stands in a small valley,
+surrounded by low jungle-clad hills. The clearing is perhaps three miles
+long by one and-a-half wide, but there always appeared to be more jungle
+than clearing about the place, so quickly does the former spread.
+
+The Station is traversed crosswise by two rough tracks called by
+courtesy roads, and is surrounded by what is imposingly termed "The
+Circular Road." This road, but recently constructed, is six or seven
+miles long, and passes mostly outside the clearing, being consequently
+bordered in many places on both sides by thick jungle.
+
+There is something infinitely pathetic to my mind about this poor new
+road, wandering aimlessly in the jungle, leading nowhere and used by no
+one. At regular distances there stand by the wayside tall posts bearing
+numbers. The lonely posts mark the situations of houses which it is
+hoped will, in the future, be built on the allotments which they
+represent. In theory, the circular road is lined with houses, for Remyo
+has a great future before it; but just at present, the future is
+travelling faster than the station, and consequently the poor road is
+allowed to run sadly into the jungle alone, its course known only to the
+dismal representatives of these future houses.
+
+The only finished building near which this road passes is the railway
+station, a neat wooden erection, possessing all the requirements of a
+small wayside station, and lacking only one essential feature--a
+railway, for the railway, like the great future of Remyo, is late in
+arriving, and so the road and the railway station are left sitting sadly
+expectant in the jungle, waiting patiently for the arrival of that
+future which alone is needed to render them famous.
+
+In Remyo itself there is a fair sized native bazaar, consisting of rows
+of unpleasant looking mat huts, each raised a few feet from the ground,
+with sloping overhanging roofs, and open sides. The road through the
+bazaar is always very dusty, crowded with bullock carts, goats, and
+dogs, and usually alive with naked Burmese babies of every age and size.
+Not a pleasant resort on a hot day.
+
+Besides the bazaar, the station contains the Court House, the District
+Bungalow, and the Post Office; half-a-dozen European houses scattered up
+and down the clearing, and the club.
+
+To the Anglo-Indians the club seems as necessary to existence as the air
+they breathe. I verily believe that when the white man penetrates into
+the interior to found a colony, his first act is to clear a space and
+build a club house.
+
+The Club House at Remyo is a truly imposing looking edifice, perched
+high on the hill side, standing in a well kept compound, surrounded by
+its offices, bungalows, and stables. About the interior of the building
+I must confess ignorance, it being an unpardonable offence for any woman
+to cross the threshold. It may be that it is but a whited sepulchre, the
+exterior beautiful beyond description, the interior merely emptiness: I
+cannot tell.
+
+At the foot of the Club House stands a tiny, one-roomed, mat hut, the
+most unpretentious building I ever beheld, universally known by the
+imposing title of "The Ladies Club." Here two or more ladies of the
+station nightly assemble for an hour before dinner, to read the two
+months old magazines, to search vainly through the shelves of the
+"library" for a book they have not read more than three times, to
+discuss the iniquities of the native cook, and to pass votes of censure
+on the male sex for condemning them to such an insignificant building.
+
+It has always been a sore point with the ladies of Remyo that their Club
+House only contains one room. They argue that if half the members wish
+to play whist, and the other half wished to talk, many inconveniences
+(to say the least) would arise. As there are but four lady members of
+the club, this argument does not appear to me to be convincing, but I do
+not pretend to understand the intricacies of club life.
+
+I have sometimes been tempted to believe that the ladies would really be
+happier without a club; possessing one, they feel strongly the necessity
+of using it, and though they would doubtless prefer sometimes to sit
+comfortably at home, every evening sees them sally forth determinedly to
+their tiny hut. There they sit night after night till nearly dark, and
+then, not daring to disturb the lordly occupants of the big house, to
+demand protection, they steal home nervously along the jungle bordered
+road, trembling at every sound, but all the time talking and laughing
+cheerfully, in order to convince everybody (themselves in particular)
+that they are not at all afraid of meeting a panther or tiger, in fact
+would rather prefer to do so than not. Truly the precious club is not
+an unmixed blessing!
+
+There are a few wooden houses in Remyo, but the majority are merely
+built of matting, with over-hanging roofs. They are often raised some
+twenty feet above the ground, and present the extraordinary appearance
+of having grown out of their clothes like school boys.
+
+The house in which my sister and her husband lived was a wooden erection
+of unpretentious appearance. I cannot say who was the architect, but a
+careful consideration of the construction of the house revealed to us
+much of his method.
+
+In the first place he was evidently an advocate of the benefits of fresh
+air and light. The house was all doors and windows, not one of them,
+apparently, intended to shut, and not satisfied with this, the builder
+had carefully left wide chinks in the walls, and two or three large
+holes in the roof. The front door opened directly into the drawing-room,
+the drawing-room into the dining room, the dining-room into the
+bedrooms, and the bedrooms on to the compound again. Thus we were
+enabled in all weathers to have a direct draught through the house, and
+as Remyo is a remarkably windy place, much of our time was occupied in
+preventing the furniture from being blown away. Whenever anything was
+missing we invariably found it in the back compound, whither it had been
+carried by the wind. Life in such an atmosphere was no doubt healthy,
+but a trifle wearing to the nerves.
+
+The compactness of the house was delightful. All the rooms led out of
+one another, and there were no inside doors, consequently one could
+easily carry on a conversation with those in other parts of the house
+without leaving one's chair or raising one's voice.
+
+The only occasion on which we found this arrangement of the rooms
+inconvenient was when we stained the dining room floor. The stain did
+not dry for three days, and during that time all communication between
+the drawing room and bedrooms was entirely cut off, for the only way
+from one to the other was through the dining room, and that was
+impossible, unless we wished our beautiful floor to be covered with
+permanent foot marks.
+
+Our architect was evidently a dweller in the plains, and the uses of a
+fireplace were unknown to him. In each of the small bedrooms he had
+built large open fireplaces, worthy of a baronial hall, while in neither
+of the sitting rooms was there the slightest vestige of a fireplace of
+any sort or kind whatever.
+
+This was a little inconvenient. Naturally an affectionate and gregarious
+family party, we did not like to spend our evenings, each sitting alone
+before our own palatial bedroom fireplace; being properly brought up,
+and proud of our drawing room, we preferred to occupy it, and often, as
+I sat shivering while the wind tore through the rooms, whistling and
+shrieking round the furniture, and the rain poured through the roof, I
+wondered what was supposed to be the use of a house at all; we should
+have done quite as well without one, except, of course, for the look of
+the thing.
+
+Modern inventions such as bells appear unknown in Remyo. If you want
+anything you must shout for it until you get it.
+
+When calling on a neighbour you stand outside the front door, and shout
+for five minutes, if no one appears in that time, you assume they are
+not at home, put your cards on the doorstep or through a chink in the
+wall, and depart. It is a primitive arrangement, but still, not without
+advantages. If you don't wish to find people at home, you shout softly.
+
+We were superior to all our neighbours in the possession of a bell. We
+hung it up in the compound near the servants' "go downs," and passed the
+bell rope through various holes in the walls, etc., to the dining room.
+I don't know where the bell originally came from, but I think it must
+have come from a pagoda, for it was undoubtedly bewitched. It rang at
+all hours of the day and night without provocation. Once it pealed out
+suddenly at midnight and rang steadily for half-an-hour, when it as
+suddenly stopped. This was probably caused by some birds swinging on
+the rope, but it was most uncanny.
+
+The servants used to answer the bell at first when it rang in the day
+time, until the joke palled on them, and they became suddenly deaf to
+its call. They never answered it at night: I fancy they thought when
+they heard it then, that the house was attacked by dacoits or tigers and
+we were ringing for help, and they deemed it more prudent to remain shut
+up in their "go downs." When we attempted to ring the bell with a
+purpose, it invariably stuck somewhere and would not sound. We never
+ceased to feel proud of the possession of our bell, but ceased at last
+to expect it to be of any practical use.
+
+When my sister first showed me over her house, my heart sank in spite of
+my ostensible admiration, for where was the kitchen? Did dwellers in
+Remyo eat no cooked food; must I be satisfied with rice and fruits?
+However, my doubts were soon set at rest when we visited the compound,
+for there stood a tiny tin shed, inside which was a broad brick wall,
+with three holes for fires, and what looked like a dog kennel, but which
+I learned was the oven. A fire was lighted inside the oven, and when the
+walls were red hot the burning logs were pulled out, the bread placed
+in, and walled up.
+
+How anyone managed to cook anything successfully thus was a marvel to
+me. I had gone out to Remyo, fresh from a course of scientific cooking
+lectures, intending to rejoice the palates of the poor exiles with the
+dainty dishes I would cook for their edification. When I saw that
+kitchen, and when I learned that such a thing as a pair of scales did
+not exist in the station, all measuring being done by guess work, I gave
+up all hope of fulfilling my intention, and looked upon the native cook
+as the most talented gentleman of my acquaintance.
+
+The furniture in Remyo is of the "let-us-pack-up-quickly-and-remove"
+type. It is of the lightest and most unsubstantial kind, and has the air
+of having seen many sales and many owners.
+
+The most prominent article in nearly every house is the deck chair,
+faithful and much travelled chair, which has accompanied its master over
+the sea from England, and wandered with him into many a dreary little
+out-of-the-way village, where perchance he sees for months no fellow
+white man, and where his chair and pipe alone receive his confidences,
+and solace his soul in the utter loneliness of the jungle. No wonder
+then that the deck chair wears an important air, and regards other
+pieces of furniture, which probably change owners every six months, with
+contemptuous scorn.
+
+The impossibility of having a settled home in Burmah is very pathetic.
+In Rangoon, the interior of the houses occasionally wear a settled and
+homelike appearance, but in the jungle, never. Everything is selected
+with a view to quick packing; pictures, ornaments, and useless
+decorations are reduced to a minimum, and only articles of furniture
+which are indispensable are seen. When one is liable to be moved
+elsewhere at four days' notice, there is no encouragement to take deep
+root, the frequent uprooting would be too painful.
+
+This spirit of constant change seems to enter into the blood of the
+Anglo-Indian, for the housewife is perpetually moving her furniture,
+"turning her rooms round" so to speak, and she never seems to keep
+anything in the same place for more than a week!
+
+After all, not Burmah, but England is looked upon as "Home." Even the
+man of twenty-five years service whose family, friends, and interests
+may be all centred in Burmah, who loves the life he leads there, and is
+proud of the position he holds, even he talks of what he will do when he
+"goes home," and in imagination crowns with a halo "this little precious
+stone set in the silver sea, this blessed plot, this earth, this realm,
+this England," which no amount of fog, cold, monotony, and dreary
+oblivion in his after life here, ever dispels. However happy and
+prosperous the Anglo-Indian may be in his exile, going to England, is
+"going home."
+
+Our most unique piece of furniture was the piano.
+
+I do not remember who was the maker of this renowned instrument, but its
+delicate constitution was most unhappily disorganised by the climate.
+When first it came to us it was quite a nice piano, rather jingling, and
+not always in tune, but "fit to pass in a crowd with a shove." Alas! the
+Remyo climate was fatal; the degeneration commenced at once, and
+proceeded so rapidly, that in three months all was over.
+
+The first indication of trouble was a serious feud between several of
+the notes, which would persist in making use of one another's tones, and
+would not work in harmony. For example, when one struck C sharp, it
+promptly sang out high F's tone, and high F, being deprived of its
+lawful voice, was forced to adopt a sound like nothing we had ever heard
+before. Then E flat became officious and conceited, and persisted in
+sounding its shrill note through the whole of the piece in performance,
+while G on the contrary was sulky, and wouldn't sound at all.
+
+Now all this was, of course, most disconcerting to other notes which
+had hitherto behaved in an exemplary manner. Some became flurried and
+nervous, and sang totally wrong tones, or sounded their own in such a
+doubtful, apologetic manner that it was of very little effect. Others
+grew annoyed, sided with various leaders in the quarrels, jangling
+together noisily, and persisting in sounding discords and interrupting
+each other. Others again were seized with a mischievous spirit; they
+mocked and mimicked their companions, and vied with one another in
+producing the most extraordinary and unpleasant noises.
+
+Chaos and anarchy reigned in the piano case, all laws of sound and
+harmony were o'erthrown, the bass clef could no longer be trusted to
+produce a low note, nor the treble a high one, and a chromatic scale
+produced such an extraordinary conglomeration of sounds, as would
+certainly have caused a German band to die of envy.
+
+This could not continue for ever, and at last came reaction. Whether
+caused by the quarterly visit of the Mandalay chaplain, or by the
+shocked and pained expression on the face of a musical friend who called
+one day when I was sounding (it could no longer be called playing) the
+piano, I know not, but certain it is, the piano was suddenly seized with
+remorse. Notes conquered their thieving propensities, differences were
+patched up, discord and jangling ceased, and the whole community, as a
+sign of real repentance, took upon itself the vow of silence.
+
+Not a sound could we extract from the once noisy keys, save occasionally
+a sad whisper from the treble, or a low murmur from the bass. After a
+time, even these ceased, and the once harmonious and soul-stirring tones
+of the piano, passed entirely into the Land of Silence.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+THE EUROPEAN INHABITANTS.
+
+     "In spite of all temptations
+     To belong to other nations
+     He remains an Englishman"--
+                         "H.M.S. Pinafore."
+
+
+The European population of Remyo is small, consisting in fact of but
+four resident ladies, and some dozen resident males; but despite their
+limited number they form a very friendly and independent little
+community. Among them are to be found the usual types of Anglo Indian
+society, but they display characteristics not met with among the
+dwellers in larger stations.
+
+Remyo is so entirely cut off from civilisation, that the inhabitants
+must of necessity depend solely upon themselves for amusement, and as
+entertainments, at which one would invariably meet the same half-dozen
+guests are apt to become a trifle monotonous, the ladies, deprived of
+this usual mode of killing time, are compelled to devote themselves to
+domestic pursuits rather more than is the custom of most Anglo Indians.
+
+The comparative coolness of the climate (Remyo being 3,500 feet above
+sea level) is conducive to such occupations, and whereas in Rangoon, or
+Mandalay, housekeeping duties are reduced to a minimum, in Remyo, the
+ladies, having nothing else to do, engage themselves thus with a zeal
+and energy worthy of a Dutch housewife.
+
+But, poor souls, they are terribly handicapped!
+
+In the first place, they are mostly unaccustomed to housekeeping
+themselves; secondly, the servants and household are quite unaccustomed
+to being "kept"; and thirdly, it is practically impossible for a
+mistress to do her own marketing unless she possess an unusual knowledge
+of the language.
+
+She may resolutely keep accounts, lock up stores, walk about all morning
+in an apron, with a large bunch of keys, and have long confidential
+conversations with the cook; but in spite of all these possibilities
+she can only play at housekeeping; the Cook and Head Boy are the real
+managers of the establishment, and they regard the well meant efforts of
+their mistress with the kindly amusement one would extend to a child
+"keeping house." A Remyo lady's morning interview with her cook, usually
+a Madrassee, is an amusing interlude.
+
+Neither fish nor joints can be procured in the native bazaar, so the
+poor housekeeper is often at her wits' end to introduce variety into her
+evening menu.
+
+She begins cheerfully: "Well cook, what have we for dinner to-night?"
+
+Cook replies laconically, "Chicken."
+
+"Chicken," repeats the mistress doubtfully, "yes, perhaps that will do.
+Did you kill it yesterday?"
+
+"No! missis, not killed yet."
+
+"Oh cook!" in a tone of stern reproach, "missis told you always to kill
+it the day before, why have you not done so?"
+
+Cook shelters himself behind an unintelligible answer in a mixture of
+Hindustani and "Pigeon English," and after an unsuccessful attempt to
+understand him, his mistress is forced to pass from the subject, with a
+rebuke which he receives with a reproachful look. "Now," she continues,
+"what have you for soup?"
+
+"Chicken" is again the prompt reply.
+
+"Is there really nothing else?" demands the mistress uneasily.
+
+"No, there is nothing else."
+
+"Well," hopefully, "you must make a very nice little side dish (entrée),
+what can we have?"
+
+"Nice bit of grilled chicken," suggests cook cheerfully.
+
+"Oh no cook," she cries in despair, "we can't have more chicken."
+
+"What would missis like then?"
+
+Missis has not the vaguest idea of any possible suggestion, so
+diffidently agrees that perhaps chicken will be nice. She asks about the
+savoury, but seeing the word "chicken" again hovering on cook's lips,
+decides to make the savoury herself, and turns to receive the daily
+accounts.
+
+Then cook rattles off a long account of his expenditure, which his
+mistress duly enters in her book, fondly hoping that he isn't charging
+her more than double the cost of each article, but having no means of
+discovering the truth.
+
+Once or twice, on visits to the bazaar, we asked the price of various
+things, and triumphantly confronted the cook with the result of our
+researches, but he was never in the least disconcerted, and at once
+entered into a long, unintelligible, and quite irrefutable explanation
+as to why the article was cheaper on that particular day than on any
+other. It is quite impossible to upset the cheerful sang froid of a
+Madrassee.
+
+Native servants have the reputation of being most faithful to their
+master, and perhaps they deserve the character, for they allow no one
+else to cheat him (unless they get the lion's share of the spoil), but
+they consider it their special prerogative to cheat him themselves at
+every opportunity.
+
+A scolding from a mistress makes little impression on a Madrassee
+servant,--he receives it with an air of gentle reproach, while he most
+persistently denies the offence, whatever it may be, from a bad dinner,
+to a broken plate or an undelivered message. It is only the master, who,
+by a wealth of strong language, and judiciously directed remarks,
+concerning the origin, parents, and relations of the guilty one, can
+hope to make the slightest impression upon the impervious native mind.
+
+A further difficulty for the young and ardent housekeeper is the number
+of servants in her establishment. One man is engaged to sweep the floor,
+another to dust the furniture, one to fetch the water, a second to pour
+it into the bath, one to lay the knives and forks, and a companion to
+hand the plates, and so on through every department of the household
+work.
+
+This divided duty is exceedingly convenient to the servants, for if
+anything be wrong the fault can always be laid on the absent one, or a
+scolding delivered to one can be passed on almost unlimitedly until
+everyone has enjoyed an opportunity of relieving his feelings. But it is
+inconvenient for a mistress; such a delay is caused in carrying out an
+order. For example, if a jug of water be spilled, a first servant picks
+up the jug, a second dries the table cloth, a third dries the table, a
+fourth mops up the water from the floor, a fifth rearranges the
+furniture, a sixth carries out the empty jug, and a seventh fetches the
+water to refill it.
+
+All orders are delivered to the Head Boy, a most important and dignified
+personage, and he transmits them through the various ranks of his
+underlings until they reach the servant whose duty it is to carry them
+out. During the transmission through so many channels, of course the
+orders become hopelessly mixed.
+
+We had only fourteen servants, as our house was not large! A few of
+them, such as the cook, sais, and butler had definite duties, the
+remainder seemed to be chiefly engaged in getting in one another's way
+and quarrelling. But I suppose the work of the house could not have been
+carried on without them, though their number was distinctly
+inconvenient.
+
+In Rangoon, where servants abound, it would be easy to dismiss and
+engage a dozen a day, but not so in the remoter stations. The natives of
+India will not leave the plains unless a strong inducement be offered,
+and the Burmese much prefer not to work, if they can live without doing
+so. Burmans are usually excellent servants, but they are slow to learn
+to speak English, and the young housekeeper, who has probably been
+accustomed to English, or at least Hindustani-speaking servants in
+Rangoon, experiences great difficulty in making herself understood.
+
+All our servants, with the exception of the cook, were Burmese, and when
+my brother happened to be away, and the cook was not at hand to
+interpret, we felt particularly helpless. Messages brought at such a
+time had to go undelivered, and many a struggle have I had to understand
+Po Sin's wants, or to make him understand mine. Housekeeping under such
+disadvantages is not a happy undertaking.
+
+Another way of passing time in which we indulged, was cooking. It was
+cooking under difficulties, for the most important part (the baking) had
+perforce to be entrusted to the tender mercies of the cook, no one else
+being capable of understanding his intricate oven. And the cook, jealous
+of our trespass on his prerogative, almost invariably served up our
+cakes in the guise, either of soft dough, or of black cinders.
+
+The chief objects of our cooking experiments were cakes and savouries.
+We neither of us knew very much about cooking, but we had cookery books,
+and did what we could, supplying the place of the innumerable
+ingredients we did not possess, with any we happened to have on hand.
+The result was usually distasteful.
+
+I made cakes with exceeding great vigour and confidence during almost
+the whole of my stay, but nobody ate them save myself from bravado, the
+dogs from greed, and unsuspecting strangers from innocence.
+
+Cake making was a fashionable subject of conversation at the ladies'
+"five o'clocks" in Remyo, and everyone gave everyone else recipes. I was
+astonished to hear my sister (whom I knew to be almost entirely ignorant
+upon such subjects) glibly confiding recipes for all sorts of things, on
+one of these occasions. I taxed her with the matter later, but she
+explained that it was the fashion to give recipes, and so long as she
+was careful to include an ingredient or two, impossible to obtain, she
+could safely trust that no one would find her out.
+
+There is one shop in Remyo in addition to the native Bazaar, and the
+ladies usually pay it a daily visit, in order, I suppose, to add realism
+to their pretence of housekeeping.
+
+The method adopted on these occasions is remarkable. No one expects to
+find anything she really wants in the shop, as it is kept by a native of
+India, but she begins hopefully asking for various articles, each demand
+being greeted by a shake of the head. She then asks the shopkeeper what
+he does happen to sell, at which he appears doubtful, but suggests some
+useless thing such as antimacassars. The purchaser at length makes a
+tour of the shop, picks out the least useless article she can find, and
+bears it home in triumph.
+
+The unwise thing to do, is to order an article from Rangoon or Mandalay.
+One is indeed lucky if it arrives within twelve months after being
+ordered, and without an expenditure of all one's powers of sarcasm in
+letters of remonstrance, and a fortune in stamps.
+
+Firstly, there will be received about a dozen letters, with intervals of
+four days or so between each, demanding fresh descriptions and
+explanations of the desired article. Then, when more specific
+description is an impossibility, letters for money will arrive; a
+request for a rupee for carriage, another request for five annas for
+something else, for half a rupee that has been overlooked in the first
+account, and so on for four weeks more. Then the article is announced to
+be upon the way, but it does not arrive. More letters bring to light the
+fact that it is lost; has most mysteriously disappeared; cannot be
+traced anywhere.
+
+New people come upon the scene. Letters from carriers and agents arrive.
+Weeks elapse, still the article cannot be found. Another is in course of
+construction, when it is suddenly discovered that by some strange
+oversight the original was overlooked, never sent off at all, and is
+still reposing in the same tiresome shop. At length the once desired
+purchase arrives, but the purchaser has now long ceased to feel any
+interest in it whatever.
+
+The inhabitants of Remyo live together in apparent peace and
+friendliness, but there is between them one never ending source of
+rivalry, _i.e._ their gardens.
+
+Gardening is one of the most fashionable employments in Remyo. Everyone
+has a garden, though the uninitiated would probably not recognise the
+fact, and the amount of time, thought, and energy expended thereon is
+worthy of better results than those I beheld.
+
+For the "Remyoans" are ambitious folk, and are not content with the
+flowers, plants and natural products of the country. Their desire is to
+have a real English garden, and with this end in view, they sow
+innumerable seeds, set many bulbs, rake, dig and water (or superintend
+these operations) till life is a burden both to themselves and to their
+servants. Possibly, I did not remain long enough, but the results I saw
+were not satisfactory; it required a great stretch of imagination to
+mark any resemblance between a large bare compound covered with coarse
+jungle grass, dotted about with flat grey-soiled beds containing a few
+withered looking plants (half-a-dozen violets perhaps, and a haggard
+sunflower), and an English garden. Perhaps long absence from home had
+dulled their recollection of gardens in England.
+
+We were specially unlucky in our garden. Had we been content to confine
+our efforts to plants in pots and boxes (as did some of our wiser
+neighbours) we might have been fairly successful. But visions of rose
+gardens, artistically laid out beds, and mossy violet covered dells
+dazzled us, and our ambitions in this direction were boundless.
+
+The coarse grass, the poor soil, and the persistent reappearances of
+unsightly jungle weeds in all sorts of unexpected places should have
+daunted us, but we had souls above such trifles. Directly we had formed
+our plans we set to work, scorning the advice of more experienced
+people, and disregarding all considerations of prepared beds, manure,
+and seasons. We marked out several intricately shaped beds, dug them up,
+lightly scattered some good soil over the top, and proceeded to sow our
+seed with hearty good will.
+
+The first difficulty we met with was with regard to arrangement. Each of
+us had a favourite plan, the abandonment of which no arguments on the
+part of the others could persuade. At length, after much useless
+discussion, we decided each to go our own way, sow our seed where we
+chose, and leave it to Nature to settle the difficulty. This was so far
+satisfactory, tho' we felt anxious when we found that nasturtiums had
+been sown on the top of daffodil bulbs, and one poor little bed of
+pansies had a border of sweet peas and sunflowers.
+
+For some days after we had laid out the garden, my sister and I had a
+wearing time. The first thing in the early mornings we hurried out for
+an eager search after signs of life in our seeds. We divided the day
+into watches, that someone might always be at hand to defend the
+precious seed from the marauding crows and pigeons. The cool of the
+evening, usually given up to tennis and other amusements, was devoted
+wholly to the fatiguing task of watering.
+
+At last, sooner in fact than we really expected, we were rewarded by a
+few delicate green shoots, peering cautiously above the ground. How
+tenderly we cherished these first fruits of our toil; how carefully we
+shaded them from the sun, watered them, and protected them from the evil
+onslaught of the pigeons. How angry we were when we discovered they were
+weeds.
+
+However, we were rewarded at last by the unmistakable appearance of
+cultivated plants. Nearly every seed sent up its little green shoot, and
+for a few days we were most unpleasantly proud, and treated our friends
+with contemptuous pity, while we visited and measured the plants almost
+every half-hour, to see if they had grown in the interval. But our joy
+was short lived, for from some cause or another, either the strong sun,
+the lack of water, or the poor soil, all our plants withered before they
+put forth flowers.
+
+At first we refused to believe our ill fortune; we told one another that
+it was always thus at first with delicate plants, that they must have
+more water and less sun. We covered them over in the heat of the day
+with waste paper baskets, topees, and cunningly erected tents of straw,
+and we risked our lives a hundred times, by running out in the hot sun
+to replace these, when the wind blew them away. We talked bravely of
+being able soon to gather bunches of daffodils, and to send our
+neighbours baskets of sweet peas. But we each felt all the time in our
+heart of hearts, that our hopes were doomed to disappointment.
+
+At last we could keep up the delusion no longer, and owned the fact of
+our failure to one another; and being now sadder and wiser folk, threw
+away the withered plants, and made a new garden, following this time the
+advice of our neighbours.
+
+The only plants which did prosper in this first garden were the
+nasturtiums (I verily believe they will flourish anywhere) and for
+several hours a tiny bed round the foot of a tree at the bottom of the
+compound veritably blazed with the colour afforded by four flourishing
+nasturtiums; but while we were at the Club that evening, the crows
+pecked off all the petals of the flowers, and our only success was but a
+short lived one.
+
+The kitchen garden, which we consigned to the care of Po Sin, our head
+boy, was rather more successful, our radishes, and mustard and cress
+being the wonder of the country side.
+
+Then we had good hopes for the peas too; there was one row about ten
+inches high which looked really promising, and as we sat on the veranda
+in the evenings contemplating this cheerful sight, we talked longingly
+of the time when we should have a dish of our own peas for dinner.
+
+But alas for the vanity of human expectations. One morning, my sister
+had sallied forth to inspect the garden, when I was startled by the
+despairing cry of "Come, come at once, the peas are flowering;" and upon
+hurrying to the spot I found it too true; our precocious peas were
+already in flower, and nothing could be done to discourage them. After a
+few days the petals fell away, and miniature pea pods, containing
+microscopic peas appeared in their place. Our wishes were fulfilled; we
+had a dish, (a very small one) of our own peas for dinner, but alas it
+consisted of the produce of the entire row.
+
+Another source of much interest was our strawberry plant. I took 100
+strawberry runners out with me from England, but, unfortunately, only
+one survived, which put forth three new shoots, and appeared for a time
+quite healthy, but never bore fruit. Still, it may yet do so; and in the
+meantime it is much admired by all the inhabitants of Remyo.
+
+Our second garden, happily, being prepared with more regard to the
+demands of the climate, was a success, and wiped out the stain of our
+first failure.
+
+It is well that the Remyo ladies can interest themselves in the manner I
+have indicated, for between breakfast and tea time the sun is so
+terribly hot, as to render out-door exercise quite impossible, and in
+the absence of many books time is sometimes difficult to kill.
+
+Ladies in England, with their hundred and one occupations, their
+amusements, household duties, and perhaps charities to attend to, can
+have but a very faint conception of how wearisomely long and lonely are
+some days, to their Anglo-Indian sisters. Their husbands away, or busy
+much of the day, deprived of their children's society, with few books,
+few amusements, and practically no duties, life is far from being an
+unqualified joy to these exiled women. Let the British matron who would
+accuse her Eastern sister of idleness, frivolity, and worse, consider
+these things, and forbear to judge.
+
+The men, with their work and sport to engage their time, are less apt
+to find the days long; but even they at times feel the same strain.
+Indeed, I remember one day, when there was no work to be done, my
+brother and sister, (who had but lately left Rangoon with its constant
+whirl of gaiety) became so hopelessly and desperately bored, that we
+were reduced to revive our drooping spirits by making sugar toffee over
+the spirit kettle.
+
+Before breakfast and after tea are the opportunities for exercise and
+amusement, and the most is made of these cooler hours.
+
+Remyo boasts a gravel tennis court, and a nine-hole golf course, mostly
+bunkers. Two more tennis courts, and a cricket and polo ground are in
+course of construction, preparatory to the arrival of the Great Future
+to which I have referred. Each form of exercise enjoys about three days
+popularity at a time. At one time tennis will be the rage, and every one
+repairs to the Club court, tho' so short are the evenings before sunset,
+that it is impossible to play more than three sets an afternoon, so we
+are forced to be content with about three games each. Then the tennis
+rage dies away, and golf suddenly becomes the fashionable game.
+
+Like most occupations in Remyo, golf is golf under difficulties, though
+personally, whenever and wherever I play golf, I play under
+difficulties. The links are chiefly jungle, and a wood axe would
+probably be the most useful accessory to the enjoyment of the game. The
+holes are short, and a good player would probably drive on to the green
+every time, but at Remyo we were not good players. If by some lucky
+chance one drove perfectly straight, there was nothing worse to fear
+than a tree, or a deep nullah, filled with reeds and hoof marks, a
+nullah where might be spent a harassing quarter of an hour, slashing at
+a half hidden ball, which, in sheer desperation, one was at last
+compelled to pick out. But if the drive were not straight, then what
+endless and interesting possibilities or impossibilities were revealed.
+Heaps of stones, inpenetrable bushes, reeds, rabbit-holes, and every
+form of acute misery which the golfer's soul can conceive.
+
+Yet the Links are very popular, and are the scene of many an exciting
+match, in spite of lost balls, broken clubs, and lost tempers. I have
+seen three clubs broken by one man in an afternoon's match, and he was
+neither a particularly bad player, nor especially violent.
+
+The Burman is not a success as a caddie. Our loogalays looked upon the
+game at first with indifference, then with dislike. I think they
+imagined that we purposely drove the ball into a hopeless tangle of
+grass and bushes in order to scold them when they could not find it.
+They could never be induced to make any distinction between the clubs,
+and looked hurt when we curtly refused to drive with our putters. Their
+notion of marking balls, too, is very primitive; Po Mya only found one
+during my stay, which it turned out was an old one lost some days
+before. In fine, they seemed to think it the greatest folly that we
+should tramp up and down, and in and out of nullahs, and lose our
+tempers so unnecessarily, because of a small white ball, when we had
+plenty more at home.
+
+On some afternoons everyone will repair to the new polo and cricket
+ground, and walk up and down the new laid turf, discussing solemnly the
+drainage, and general advantages and disadvantages of the position; or,
+feeling energetic, will practise cricket, and the knowing ones will give
+exhibitions of tricky polo strokes.
+
+The making of the polo ground was seriously delayed at first on account
+of the divergent opinions as to the best site, each declaring his
+selection to be the only one possible, and showering unlimited contempt
+upon all others. Every day we were dragged off to inspect a new spot,
+and all appeared to me so equally lacking in points of advantage, that I
+had no difficulty in impressing each new discoverer with my knowledge in
+such matters, by disparaging (in confidence) all other schemes than his.
+
+Finally, a site was chosen, and while the ground was in course of
+construction, those whose views had been disregarded, derived the
+satisfaction (always to be had in such cases) of discussing the
+insurmountable obstacles to the selected proposal.
+
+Some afternoons were devoted to rides. The jungle around Remyo is
+lovely, tho' not being there during the Rains, I did not see it to
+perfection. There are delightful rides in every direction, and exquisite
+views from the hills, whence can be seen for miles nothing but
+undulating waves of jungle, every colour from deepest reds and browns to
+the bright pink of the peach blossom, and the pale green of the feathery
+bamboos. It is a wonderful sight, this unbroken jungle, bordered in the
+far distance by the shadowy blue hills of the Shan States.
+
+Sometimes we visited quaint pagodas, with their neighbouring pretty,
+many-roofed kyaungs where the yellow robed hpoongyis, wander in
+meditation, or study 'neath the shade of the palm and banana groves. The
+pagodas are all very similar in shape, and near to each is a tazoung
+full of images of Gaudama, with ever the same calm peaceful smile,
+denoting a philosophy superior to the cares and artificialities of the
+world around.
+
+Sometimes we rode along narrow jungle paths, bordered by a tangled mass
+of bright coloured bushes and undergrowth, or by the tall, waving,
+jungle grass, which is always whispering. These paths lead to tiny
+collections of bamboo huts, surrounded by high fences to keep out
+dacoits and other marauders, where the unambitious native leads a
+peaceful, contented life, under the shadow of the bamboos and peepul
+trees; an uneventful existence, enlivened, perhaps, occasionally by a
+Pwé, or visit to a pagoda feast at a neighbouring village.
+
+I enjoyed these expeditions, tho' they were ever fraught with danger to
+my limbs. Nothing would induce me again to mount a pony (I had had
+sufficient experience) so I accompanied the others on my bicycle.
+
+Of late years many wonderful bicycle riders have exhibited their tricks
+to the public, but I am certain none have performed such extraordinary
+feats as are called for by the state of the Burmese roads, most of them
+mere jungle tracks, ploughed in every direction into deep ruts by the
+bullock carts. It was impossible to ride in the furrows, as they were
+not sufficiently wide to allow the pedals to work round, so I was
+obliged to perform a sort of plank riding trick along the top of the
+rut. Occasionally, my eminence would break off abruptly, and unless the
+bicycle succeeded in jumping the gap a fall was inevitable. Never had
+bicycle such severe usage, nor ever did such yeoman service as mine; but
+save an occasional twist of the handle bars, or a bent spoke, I never
+met with a serious accident, and I soon learned the art of "falling
+softly."
+
+My anxieties, too, were increased by the mistaken kindness of my
+companions, who would persist in riding beside me and conversing. One
+man in particular (I have forgiven him, for I know he meant it kindly)
+would never consent to leave me to ride alone. He would trot along on
+his pony, either just beside, or worse still just behind me, when I felt
+I might fall at any moment, and that he could not help riding over me.
+He would chatter away gaily, while I, with agonised expression,
+struggled along, one eye on the road and one eye on the pony, scarce
+heeding his remarks, making the most hopelessly vague replies to his
+questions, and committing myself to I know not what opinions.
+
+One day we actually took a walk. We ladies grew weary of our customary
+amusements, and though we had none of us done much walking since we left
+England, we hailed the new idea with delight. The men refused to
+accompany us (the English civilian in the East seems to forget how to
+walk) so we went with only a servant or two to carry our cameras,
+refreshments, and other necessities.
+
+We walked about five miles thro' the jungle, to a little native village
+surrounded entirely by clumps of feathery bamboos, a most exquisite
+spot. We climbed a neighbouring hill where stood the inevitable pagoda
+and kyaung, and were rewarded by a perfect view.
+
+Our photographic intentions were unfulfilled, for as we were about to
+focus our cameras, a jungle fire was set alight below, and the smoke,
+drifting across the valley towards us most effectually obscured our
+view. We were forced to be content with photographing one another, the
+most beautiful substitutes we could find.
+
+We examined the pagoda, peeped into the kyaung, and tried to induce the
+hpoongyi to come out and be photographed; but the pious man, evidently a
+hermit, shut himself promptly into the inner recesses of his dwelling,
+and continued to read in a loud voice until we had taken our departure.
+We thought him unnecessarily suspicious, and should have been hurt had
+we not felt it to be really rather a compliment to our charms.
+
+Our expedition was on the whole a success, but as we arrived home very
+hot and tired, having lost our way once or twice, we failed to convince
+the stay-at-homes that we had enjoyed ourselves without them.
+
+One morning early, my sister and I were startled by a succession of
+shots which rang out close to the house. My brother was away in the
+district, making an official tour among the villages under his charge,
+so we were alone and unprotected. Hurrying to the window, what was our
+astonishment to see a band of Goorkhas, under command of one of the
+subalterns, of the detachment stationed at Remyo, defending our house
+against an unseen enemy who lurked in the neighbouring jungle, and kept
+up an incessant firing. My mind first flew to dacoits, then to French or
+Chinese (I knew there had been trouble on the border), then, on catching
+sight of one of the enemy, and recognising him also as a Goorkha, I knew
+mutiny must have broken out. Trouble of this kind always breaks out
+unexpectedly, I have heard.
+
+Soon however, we were forced to suppose that it must be a revolution,
+for leading the enemy on to attack was the second of the two subalterns
+of the detachment. It was difficult to believe that this usually shy and
+retiring young man could be the leader of a disloyal rising, but there
+he was, excitedly encouraging his followers to attack the house.
+
+We hastily prepared lint and bandages for the wounded, and watched with
+beating hearts the progress of the fight.
+
+Suddenly, both sides ceased firing, the leaders advanced towards one
+another, conversed amicably together, evidently settled their
+differences, summoned their troops, and marched them home to breakfast.
+It was a sham fight.
+
+This appears to be the favourite amusement of the officers who form the
+military element of Remyo society.
+
+I was continually finding myself in the midst of desperate encounters
+when taking my rides abroad. It was rather disconcerting at first, but I
+grew accustomed to it in time, as one grows accustomed to anything, and
+would ride along the line of fire, with a coolness and indifference
+worthy of one of the old seasoned campaigners.
+
+I suppose to those who live in a military district, sham fights are
+ordinary affairs, but I had never seen one before, and it struck me as
+very ludicrous to see these men, in most desperate earnestness,
+crouching in ambush, dodging behind trees, and crawling along under
+cover to escape the fire of their foes. The little Goorkhas become
+wildly excited, and it would not do to allow the two sides to come to
+close quarters, or the sham fight might develop into a real one.
+
+The other European male inhabitants of Remyo, are the inevitable Indian
+Civilian and "Bombay Burman," whom of course I should not presume to
+analyse; two railway men (who seem superfluous as there is as yet no
+railway), a P.W.D. (Public Works Department) man, whose work, it seems,
+is to make roads (from my point of view as a cyclist they don't do him
+credit), an Engineer, and the Policeman.
+
+This last was a mighty shikarri, who had hunted and shot every
+imaginable animal; who knew the habits and customs of all the beasts of
+the jungle, and after examining a "kill" would give a whole history of
+the fight between the tiger and its victim. He was a mighty talker too,
+and would converse for hours on any subject.
+
+What he could not accomplish was to speak for three minutes without
+giving way to exaggeration; nor could he give an unvarnished reply to a
+plain question, so that in Remyo "if you want to know the time _don't_
+ask a policeman" is the popular aphorism.
+
+The Engineer possessed the most striking characteristics amongst the men
+of the place. I have never met a man so full of information. He was one
+of those men who can give information on every conceivable subject, for
+if he knows nothing about it, he will invent a few facts on the spur of
+the moment, facts of which he is always justly proud.
+
+I never quite made up my mind whether his actions were the outcome of a
+passion for practical joking, or a desire to be of use, but I try to
+believe the latter. When I punctured my bicycle tyre he insisted upon
+helping me to mend it. His process occupied the whole of an afternoon,
+and the front veranda and drawing-room; beyond this, it was too
+intricate to describe, except to say that it required all the available
+tooth brushes in the house, three basins of water, and a rupee piece,
+and necessitated, apparently, the cutting of a large hole in the inner
+tube, with a patent tyre remover he had invented out of a broken
+teaspoon.
+
+On another occasion, he assured us he had a splendid plan for preventing
+our drawing room stove from smoking. We had been obliged to put a stove
+in the drawing room to make up for the absence of a fire place; it was a
+primitive affair, with a chimney that went through a hole in the wall,
+and it smoked "somethink hawful." Our friend tried his plan and a dozen
+others, each more wonderful and complicated than the last, and each
+necessitating fresh holes in the already perforated wall. Each plan too,
+resulted in increased volumes of smoke, and as the furniture and carpet
+were being rapidly ruined, and our whilom happy home was being broken
+up, we finally remedied the matter ourselves.
+
+But the matter wherein our Engineer excelled himself, was in the matter
+of rose trees.
+
+Hearing us one day express a wish for a rose garden, he declared at
+once that nothing was easier. He was departing for Rangoon in two days,
+and he would there procure and send to us rose cuttings, which we must
+plant in carefully prepared boxes of soil, follow the instructions which
+he would give us concerning their welfare, and we should soon have
+flourishing rose trees. Our gratitude was unbounded, we listened and
+carefully noted his instructions, and after his departure eagerly
+awaited the fulfilment of his promise.
+
+In a few days a coolie delivered at our house, what I took at first to
+be twigs for fire wood, but on examining the letter accompanying them, I
+discovered they were the promised rose cuttings. I felt some doubts
+about them, but my sister had implicit faith in the Engineer (the stove
+incident came later), and would not listen to me.
+
+So we planted the rose cuttings, and for six whole weeks did we tend
+them. All the instructions we carried out to the letter, watering twice
+daily and sheltering them from the sun by day, and from the cold dews by
+night, but all to no avail. Dead sticks they were, and dead sticks they
+remained, till at last convinced of the hopelessness of attempting to
+restore life to the withered things, we tore them up in desperation and
+burnt them.
+
+My sister's faith in the Engineer, however, remained still unshaken, and
+she protested that the coolie must have lost the original bundle of rose
+cuttings, and substituted these twigs in their place. For my part I
+believe no such thing, and when I consider what passionate care and
+tenderness we lavished on those unresponsive pieces of wood, I do indeed
+feel disposed to "speak with many words."
+
+Varied though the characters and interests of the Remyo inhabitants may
+be, in one particular they all agree, i.e. in their dislike of the
+Casual Visitor.
+
+The casual visitor is supposed to ruin the servants, to monopolise the
+tennis courts, and golf links, to abuse the privileges of honorary
+membership of the club, to unjustly criticise the polo ground, and
+generally to destroy the peace and harmony of the station.
+
+For the men, the advent of a lady visitor means calls, dinner parties,
+and the necessity of wearing best clothes, which fills them with horror.
+For the ladies, it means the advent of one who will possess the latest
+fashions from Rangoon (possibly from England), who will throw into the
+shade their gala costumes of the fashion of two years ago, who will
+trespass upon their prerogatives, rival their powers at tennis and golf,
+and generally interfere with their peaceful and innocent pursuits.
+
+The arrival of visitors, therefore, is not welcomed as a rule, and
+though hospitably received and comfortably housed, they are not admitted
+into the inner life of the station until they have shown themselves
+quite innocent of the evil qualities which are imputed to them.
+
+This unexpected unfriendliness on the part of the Remyoans has been
+brought about by the acts of two people, who once visited this happy
+valley, and departed again leaving deeply rooted indignation behind
+them. Of the first, a woman, it suffices to say that she amply justified
+the suspicions of the Remyo ladies. Her name is never mentioned by them
+without a significant look, and she is not a safe subject for
+discussion.
+
+The crime of the second sinner against Remyo hospitality (a man) was of
+a different nature, and it is perhaps difficult for the female mind to
+grasp the enormity of the offence.
+
+A large tiger had made its appearance in the neighbourhood, and a tiger
+shoot had been organised. All the arrangements were complete; the men
+were sure of success, and speculated which of their number would have
+the luck to kill. The evening before the shoot, a visitor on his way
+from a remote station, arrived in Remyo, and obtained permission to
+accompany the sportsmen. As he was reputed to be a very bad shot this
+was readily given, and there was allotted to him a position well out of
+the expected line of the beat. The tiger broke near the stranger's
+tree, and he killed it with his first shot, the promoters of the shoot
+never even getting a sight of the game.
+
+The criminal impertinence of a mere stranger daring to kill _their_
+tiger roused the deepest feelings of indignation among the Remyoans. The
+laws of hospitality are above all, so the perpetrator of the crime was
+allowed to escape with his life and the tiger skin, but since that day
+strangers have been looked upon as suspicious interlopers, and
+prospective tiger shoots are not discussed in presence of the Casual
+Visitor.
+
+I have given my impressions of the Remyo society candidly, perhaps a
+little too candidly; but lest any who read this book be disposed to hold
+the latter opinion, let me say one thing more.
+
+The first, the last, and the most indelible impression left on my mind
+by all the Anglo-Burmans whom I had the pleasure of meeting, was the
+impression of a kindness, friendliness, and hospitality passing belief.
+The Anglo-Burmans, while retaining the best qualities of the English
+nation, seem to lose entirely that cold and suspicious reserve towards
+strangers, of which we are often so justly accused. They appear to have
+adopted those Eastern laws of hospitality, which lay so great a stress
+on the duty of entertaining strangers, and they cannot do enough to
+welcome those fellow countrymen who visit the land of their exile.
+
+This characteristic kindness of the Anglo-Burmans is so universally
+acknowledged, that it is really superfluous to mention it, but as I
+spent six months among them, without encountering a single unkind look,
+word, or deed, I cannot let the opportunity pass without offering my
+tribute of gratitude to this most kind-hearted and generous people.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+THE BURMESE.
+
+     "We are merry folk who would make all merry as ourselves."--"Yeomen
+     of the Guard."
+
+
+On my first evening in Remyo I was sitting in the drawing-room, waiting
+for the announcement of dinner, when suddenly, the curtain across the
+doorway was pulled aside, and a native peered into the room. His
+movements were rapid and stealthy, and betokened a desire for escape or
+concealment. On seeing me he slipped past the curtain into the room, and
+crouched down, as tho' endeavouring to hide himself from without. Then
+in the same bending attitude, he glided past the uncurtained window,
+across the room where I sat lost in astonishment, and on reaching my
+chair, sank on to his knees, placed his raised hands together in a
+supplicating manner, and exclaimed in a deferential and prayerful voice
+"Sarsiar."!
+
+For a moment I stared at him in wonder, unable to comprehend his
+attitude; and then in a flash I understood all.
+
+He was in terrible danger, someone was pursuing him; to escape he had
+slipped into the house, and was now imploring me to conceal or to defend
+him. I had no thought of hesitation, whatever might be his crime he must
+not be left to the rough justice of his pursuers, he must be protected
+until the matter could be properly inquired into.
+
+I sprang up and hurried to the window to reconnoitre; four natives stood
+in the road; no one else was in sight; perhaps the pursuers were already
+in the house.
+
+"Sarsiar, sarsiar, thekinma," he repeated, (or something that sounded
+like that).
+
+"All right, all right" I said soothingly: "don't be frightened, you're
+safe here," and so saying I quietly bolted the outer door, fastened the
+windows, and proceeded to put the room in a state of defence. My
+presence of mind evidently astonished him, he stared at me a moment and
+once more took up his cry of "Sarsiar, sarsiar".
+
+"It doesn't matter though a dozen Sarsiars are after you," I cried
+impatiently: "you are quite safe here; so tell me who is this "Sarsiar,"
+and what have you done to him?"
+
+But the wretched man only became still more excited, he crouched lower
+than ever, he waved his arms, and burst into a torrent of Burmese
+eloquence, in which again and again, occurred the name of his pursuer,
+of this much dreaded "Sarsiar."
+
+At last, being quite unable to either comprehend or calm him, I called
+aloud to my sister to come and reassure him in his own tongue. She came,
+exchanged a few hurried remarks with the fugitive, and then, to my utter
+astonishment and indignation, burst out laughing. I angrily demanded an
+explanation, and when she had recovered, she gave it.
+
+The native was no terrified victim, flying from a savage foe, but the
+head boy announcing that dinner was ready!
+
+The stealthy walk, the crouched air of concealment, the supplicating
+attitude, were merely expressions of respect, it being quite contrary
+to the Burman's idea of politeness to raise his head above that of his
+master.
+
+This excessive politeness on the part of the Burman is highly
+commendable, but apt to be inconvenient. It is embarrassing to be waited
+on by a man who persists in scuttling about with his body bent almost
+double, and who sinks on his knees on every available occasion; it gives
+him an air of instability. Some were so full of respect as to dismount
+from their ponies and walk past the "Thekins" when they met us in the
+road. It must delay business immensely, but no true Burman would allow
+himself to be influenced by such a minor consideration.
+
+The Burman is much given to contemplation. He is frequently seized with
+a fit of meditation in the midst of most important work, and will sit
+for hours, immovable, gazing steadily into vacancy, puffing at his huge
+cheroot, and thinking.
+
+So, history relates, did Socrates sit for three days and nights, but
+Socrates, poor man, had no cheroot to soothe him. The results of
+Socrates' meditation on that particular occasion are unknown; so too are
+the results of the rapt meditations of the Burman. Never by word or deed
+does he betray what thoughts occupy his mind on these ever recurring
+occasions, but someday, who knows? he may be moved to speak, and then
+where will be the wisdom of the East and of the West, when compared with
+the wisdom of this contemplative nation? Surely it will become small and
+of no account, and be no more thought on!
+
+For these fits of meditation are undoubtedly inspired! They may overtake
+him at any time, absorbingly, unexpectedly, in a manner highly
+inconvenient to all with whom he may come in contact.
+
+I say he is liable continually to such attacks, but certain
+surroundings, and circumstances seem more conducive than others to such
+contemplative meditation.
+
+For example, if despatched on an important message, such an attack
+almost invariably seizes him, and the messenger will remain for hours,
+seated by the road side lost in thought, while his impatient master
+sits raging and fuming at home, waiting in vain for an answer to his
+note. On such an occasion the Burman loses all sense of time, and his
+expression of naive astonishment, and patient martyr-like sufferance,
+when blamed for his delay, is utterly disarming.
+
+Again, the dusting of a room is most conducive to meditation. I have
+frequently seen a native stand for half an hour or more, immovable,
+duster in hand, gazing from the window, lost in abstraction. But this
+trait, I am told by English housewives, is not confined to Burmese
+servants alone. Dusting, I conclude, has a soothing effect on the
+nerves.
+
+When the Burman does work, he works with an energy and violence which is
+as astonishing as it is unnecessary. To see a loogalay in his energetic
+movements, dusting or tidying a room is a lesson to sluggards.
+
+He takes his stand in the centre of the room, and performs a series of
+wonderfully intricate and far reaching flag signals with the duster.
+Then, after clearing away the broken china and other debris, he slowly
+makes a tour of the room, striking violently at each article of
+furniture once or twice with the corner of the afore-mentioned duster,
+and shaking the same menacingly in the face of every picture and
+ornament. Then he turns upside down the books and papers, carefully
+hides his mistress's work bag, and his master's favourite pipe,
+rearranges the furniture and the ornaments, which have come through
+scatheless, to suit his own taste, and the room is finished. In the
+matter of floor washing the Burman as a rule prefers to carry out the
+precepts stated in Mr. Chevallier's song: "What's the good of anything?
+Why nothing." To him it appears an act of supererogation to wash to-day
+the floor, which must certainly be dirtied again on the morrow.
+
+But if he be induced, by the stern commands of his mistress to undertake
+the task, then indeed is it a day of mourning and discomfort for the
+whole household. No spring cleaning carried on by the most
+uncompromising and unsympathetic British matron, can approach the misery
+and upset caused by Burmese floor washing.
+
+Every male member of the establishment, from the coolie who is mending
+the compound path, to the head boy, is recruited to the work, and
+reinforcements of "brothers" from the village are called in to assist.
+Every piece of furniture in the place is turned upside down, and then
+large cans of water are upset "promiscuous like" here and there, until
+the whole house is deluged. This accomplished, the concourse of servants
+commences to paddle about the house, rescuing books and cushions from
+the ravages of the flood, and flapping at the water with cloth and
+brooms. No definite scheme is adopted, but the chief idea seems to be to
+wet as much of the floor, walls, and furniture as possible. After this
+amusement has been pursued for about three hours, the floods are swept
+away through the drawing-room and out at the front door, and the damp
+and exhausted servants, after proudly announcing: "Floor much clean
+now, missis," retire triumphant, to rest their weary limbs for the
+remainder of the day. We did not often indulge our desire for
+cleanliness in this respect.
+
+The Burman is a great lover of ceremonies and processions. On certain
+festival days long picturesque pageants wind thro' the villages on their
+way to the pagodas; cart after cart drawn by gaily decorated bullocks
+and filled with brightly dressed occupants, many of whom wear fancy
+disguises, and dance and posture during the whole of the ride.
+
+It is a strange sight to see "grave and reverend seigneurs" from the
+village, arrayed in the most extraordinary costumes, reminding one of an
+English Guy Fawkes procession, standing at the front of a cart,
+posturing and pulling faces, in a manner that would be ludicrous, were
+it not so evidently full of meaning and solemnity. Imitation boats,
+dragons and beasts of all sorts take part in these processions, which
+for grotesqueness, brilliance of colour, and originality of arrangement
+are equalled only in a Drury Lane pantomime or the Lord Mayor's Show.
+But the soul of the Burman is not satisfied with his great half yearly
+festivals, nor even with the smaller festivities that take place at
+every birth, wedding, death, "ear-boring," or other ceremonious
+occasion. He seeks ever for other opportunities for procession and
+masquerade.
+
+Our Burmese servants found vent for their feelings in waiting at table.
+They performed their duties with as much stateliness and ceremony as
+time, and our impatient appetites would permit.
+
+No dish, plate, or spoon was brought without the co-operation of the
+three loogalays who were in attendance, and the lord chamberlain himself
+could not have conducted the course of the meal with more dignity than
+did our Burmese butler.
+
+But the greatest triumph was achieved at breakfast time when we partook
+of boiled eggs. The clink of the cups, followed by a hush of expectancy
+heralded what was coming. The purdah would be drawn aside by an unseen
+hand, and the procession would march solemnly into the room, the three
+loogalays, one behind the other, bearing each in his hand a very large
+dinner plate, in the centre of which stood a small egg in its humble
+egg-cup.
+
+Into the room and round the table they would march, then dividing, each
+with a bow deposited his precious burden before the person for whom it
+was intended, after which the procession was again formed, and
+disappeared slowly behind the curtain: all this with an air of solemnity
+and display that would not have disgraced a royal levee. Why this
+ceremony was confined to eggs, why the porridge and bacon were not
+equally favoured I cannot tell, I merely state the facts as I observed
+them, leaving the explanation to others more discerning than I.
+
+The greatest treat our own loogalays ever enjoyed in this respect was
+brought about one day by a slight mistake I made in giving an order to
+Po-Sin, the head butler. My grasp of the language being but slight, my
+speech was often a trifle faulty, but I gave orders with a vigorous
+confidence, and aided by gesture and "pigeon English" I imagined that I
+made myself tolerably comprehensible. On the occasion to which I refer,
+I had prepared my sentence elaborately, and summoning Po-Sin, I informed
+him that his master would be at home and would want tea at three
+o'clock. There must have been some mistake somewhere. Possibly, I
+confused the word meaning "office" with the Burmese for "three o'clock."
+But whatever be the explanation, about a quarter of an hour later,
+chancing to look out of the window, I beheld a procession winding its
+way along the road to the Court House, and bearing with it our afternoon
+tea equipage displayed to the highest advantage. At the head marched
+Po-Sin, proudly brandishing the teapot, then Po-Mya bearing the muffins,
+Po Thin with the tray and tea-cups, and behind, in regular order, the
+other numerous members of our establishment, each bearing some dish,
+jug, or spoon. They had gone too far to be overtaken, tho' they walked
+with becoming dignity, so with deep foreboding, I watched them disappear
+round the corner of the road leading to the Court House.
+
+Presently I saw the disconcerted procession returning, headed this time
+by my infuriated brother-in-law, who had been interrupted in the midst
+of an important case, by the solemn entrance of the tea bearers. The
+servants looked depressed and disappointed. I think they had hoped the
+procession might be a weekly affair. Like "Brer Rabbit," I prudently lay
+low until my brother's wrath had exhausted itself.
+
+The Burman has the reputation of being a keen sportsman, and certainly,
+his excitement is intense on every sporting occasion, especially in
+games of strength and skill. But he does not excel in these. His
+intentions are doubtless good, but he lacks pluck and determination.
+
+This is especially evident when a loogalay fields for his master at
+cricket. He will watch the game with deepest interest, loudly applauding
+every hit, and when the ball speeds in his direction his excitement and
+pride are unbounded. He runs to meet it with outstretched arms, shouting
+wildly, then, as the ball nears him, and the audience hold their
+breath, expecting a wonderful catch or piece of fielding, he quietly
+steps aside, allows the ball to fly past him, and then trots gently
+after it, overtaking it some few yards over the boundary. His fellow
+natives view the performance with pride, and yell with admiration when
+he finally secures the ball and, carrying it within an easy throwing
+distance of the pitch, rolls it gently back to the bowler.
+
+The interest taken by the natives in football is overpowering, and a
+spectator has been known to stick a knife into the calf of one of the
+most active of the players on the opposing side, who happened to be
+standing near the "touch line." A new and unexpected source of danger in
+the football field.
+
+The two chief drawbacks to the Burman servant are, firstly, his intense
+self-satisfaction and conceit, and secondly, his intolerable
+superstition.
+
+It is impossible to find fault with a Burman. He receives all complaints
+with a look of such absolute astonishment and reproach that the
+complainant is at once disarmed. In his own eyes the Burman can do no
+wrong, and if other folk do not entirely concur in this opinion, that is
+their misfortune and not his fault. He is always quite pleased with
+himself, and regards with a pitying contempt all who are not equally so.
+
+Overpowering superstition is a deeply rooted characteristic of the race,
+and I rather suspect, a very convenient one occasionally. The Burman
+will do nothing on an unlucky day or hour, and in awaiting the
+propitious moment, the duty is frequently left undone altogether. This
+is apt to be inconvenient to others, if the duty in question be the
+delivery of an important message, or the preparation of dinner. But I
+have sometimes wondered whether this particular superstition might not
+advantageously be introduced into England, where it would be so
+exceedingly useful to the school boy at the end of the holidays, and to
+many other folk besides.
+
+In private life the Burman carries his superstition to a ridiculous
+extent. No ceremony can take place, no festival be held, the building
+of a house cannot even be commenced until the wise man has declared the
+hour and place to be propitious.
+
+All sorts of magical contrivances to prevent the entrance of wicked
+"nats" and other evil spirits, are erected outside nearly every house
+and village, and charms and horoscopes are believed in absolutely by all
+save the best educated Burmans.
+
+They are a fickle people. Their lives being uneventful they love to vary
+them by constant small changes, and to enliven them by the excitement of
+gambling, which is the great vice of the country. We had a Burmese maid
+who displayed this love of change to a most astonishing degree. After
+being with us about two months she suddenly announced one morning that
+she had fever and must go and rest. Accordingly she disappeared for
+several days, and when we sent to enquire after her we learnt that she
+had recovered from her attack of fever, but was coming back to us no
+more, as she had got married. In about a fortnight she reappeared,
+saying calmly that she was now tired of being married, and was quite
+ready to return to her work after her little change.
+
+Though he strongly objects to work himself the Burman likewise objects
+to see anyone else work. Whenever I endeavoured to clean my bicycle, our
+loogalays were terribly grieved. They sought me out in the quiet corner
+to which I had retired, and stood round me with the most shocked
+expressions, waving brooms and dusters, and beseeching me by all their
+most expressive gestures to leave the task to them. Sometimes they
+embarrassed me so much by all these attentions that I was obliged to
+consent, but always felt sorry afterwards; they are not satisfactory
+bicycle cleaners. The handle bars they polished again and again, but the
+rest of the machine struck them as uninteresting, and they left it
+severely alone.
+
+My experience of the Burman was not confined altogether to our own
+servants, there were many in the village with whom I had a bowing
+acquaintance, but owing to my ignorance of the language I could not
+hope to become intimate with them and their families.
+
+They appeared to take a great interest in us and our possessions. Two
+little Burmese ladies in particular, wives of the chief men of the
+village, paid us constant visits. They would bring us presents of
+flowers and vegetables, offer these, and then sit on the floor and stare
+resolutely at us for the space of half an hour, at the end of which time
+they would suddenly make a profound obeisance and depart.
+
+Conversation was impossible, as neither party knew the other's language,
+but we found this silent contemplation so embarrassing, that, after
+enduring it twice, we endeavoured on the third visit to entertain them
+by showing them pictures, trinkets, or anything we thought might amuse
+them. But with no great success; they admired the things and then
+immediately returned to their former occupation of staring, until at
+last I thought of the piano (which at that time was still in a healthy
+condition), opened it, and began to play. That interested them
+immensely, as they could not understand whence the sound came. They
+would stand happily for any length of time, gingerly striking a note,
+and listening to the tone with the greatest wonder and delight.
+
+But what pleased them more than anything was a china doll, belonging to
+my little niece, which shut and opened its eyes. Such a marvel had never
+been seen before, and the day after our visitors had discovered it, a
+large deputation from the village waited upon us, with a request to see
+the wonder. As from that time the doll frequently disappeared for a day
+or two, we rather suspected the ayah was turning an honest penny, by
+borrowing it to hire out for exhibition at various villages round,
+whither the rumour of its fame had already spread.
+
+Our visitors took the greatest interest in our garments, and when their
+first shyness had worn off, would subject our costumes to a minute
+examination that was a little trying.
+
+They always arrayed themselves in their best garments when they came to
+see us, and very dainty they looked in their bright dresses of pink,
+green, or yellow silk, with flowers and ornaments in their black hair.
+The Burmese ladies are deservedly described as charming, and they
+understand the art of dress, and blending colours to perfection. They
+are reported to be very witty and amusing, as well as charming in
+appearance, and certainly when my brother happened to be at home on the
+occasion of their visits, they chattered to him very merrily, and seemed
+to thoroughly enjoy their talk with an Englishman.
+
+Another visitor of ours was the thugyi, (the head man of the village), a
+very fine looking old man with one of the handsomest heads I have ever
+seen. He was taller than the majority of Burmans, and in the flowing
+white garments which he always wore, presented a splendid picture which
+I longed to paint. His manners were stately and dignified, and he
+treated us with the most royal courtesy, as though he were an emperor
+at least.
+
+The chief hpoongyi (priest) of Remyo was a dear old man, with a
+beautifully tender expression. At his invitation we all went to visit
+him one day, and he showed us over the kyaung, with its numerous images,
+bell, and quaint pictures of saints and devils. He was an enthusiastic
+gardener and showed us proudly over his domain, giving us much advice on
+the management of plants, and offering to transplant anything we admired
+to our own garden. A hpoongyi's life must be very peaceful and happy,
+though perhaps a trifle dull. His chief occupation seems to be
+meditation, which to us western folk appears distinctly monotonous.
+
+Visits to the native bazaar afford endless amusement. Natives of all
+descriptions are gathered there, and the scene is most varied. The
+picturesque Burmans, giggling Chinese, chattering Madrassees, stately
+Parsees, solemn-faced Shans, and many other nationalities, swarm in the
+narrow streets and round the stalls of the bazaar. The stalls are large
+platforms raised about three feet from the ground, with overhanging
+roofs. The seller sits in the middle of his stall with his wares spread
+round him, and keeps up a running flow of conversation the whole day
+long.
+
+There never appeared to be much to purchase in the Remyo bazaar except a
+few silks and the most unpalatable looking foods, but I delighted to go
+there in order to watch the people. "Bazaar day," to the Burman is one
+big joke, and he enjoys it thoroughly. The girls wear their most
+becoming costumes, and seated in the midst of their lovely silks, form a
+picture dainty enough to attract any man's attention. They are charming,
+and are quite aware of the fact.
+
+I ventured down once or twice to the bazaar with my camera, but they did
+not understand it, and regarded me with suspicion; indeed, the mother of
+one little Shan laddie, whose picture I wished to take, worked herself
+up into such a state of wrath and terror that I was obliged to desist. I
+fancy she thought I was bewitching the poor little fellow.
+
+My private opinion is, that in revenge for my attempt on her son, she
+must have induced one of their wise men to curse my kôdak, for though I
+took photographs with great vigour and confidence during my travels, not
+a single one of them developed. It is a singularly distressing
+employment to sit long hours in a stuffy dark room, developing
+photographs which steadily refuse to develop. I have met with many sad
+experiences in my long and chequered career, but I think this was the
+most disappointing.
+
+
+My one attempt at shopping by gesture in the bazaar was not an
+unqualified success. I selected an aged and kindly looking stall keeper,
+and proceeded to collect together in a heap the few small articles I
+desired to purchase. During this proceeding she watched my actions with
+astonishment and some suspicion, but the latter feeling was set at rest
+when I produced a rupee and offered it to her. She took it, and while
+she sought the change, I pocketed my purchases.
+
+[Illustration: NATIVE BAZAAR AT REMYO]
+
+But when she returned, her face expressed the greatest consternation,
+and she burst into a torrent of Burmese. Quite at a loss to understand
+her, I hurriedly offered her more money, but she refused it with scorn,
+and continued her explanations and entreaties, in which the numerous
+spectators of the scene presently joined, laughing as though it were the
+greatest joke in the world.
+
+Presently the old lady picked up a bobbin of cotton, such as I had just
+bought, and waved it frantically in my face; I mechanically took it and
+pocketed it also. At this action on my part the spectators became still
+more hilarious, but the old lady looked annoyed, evidently considering
+the matter was getting beyond a joke.
+
+At last, in desperation, I pulled out all my purchases and flung them on
+the stall. To my astonishment this proved to be precisely what she
+desired; the good lady beamed with satisfaction, gathered them together
+with her own fair hands, and returned them, and my change, to me with
+many bows and smiles. I do not know to this day what was the reason of
+her excitement. Judging by the intense amusement it caused the
+spectators, I should say the story will serve as a popular after dinner
+anecdote for many generations of Burmans.
+
+
+I do not think anyone but a Burman could find much amusement in their
+dearly beloved Pwés. The dances, composed entirely of posturing and
+grouping, are most monotonous, and the music is distinctly an unpleasant
+noise from a European point of view. Yet these easily satisfied folk
+crowd to such entertainments (which occasionally last many days) and
+camp out round the temporary building in which they are performed. They
+seem to derive the greatest enjoyment from watching these interminable
+performances, following the inevitable dramatic "Prince and Princess"
+through their adventures, and chuckling over the vulgar jokes of the
+clown.
+
+The Burman loves to laugh. He is as equally amused at a fire or a
+drowning fatality in real life, as when in the play the clown trips up
+a fellow actor.
+
+His proneness to laughter is annoying sometimes, especially if one
+misses a drive at golf, or falls down stairs (either of which
+misfortunes appear to him very droll) but on the whole his keen
+appreciation of "humour" helps him very comfortably through life.
+
+We modern Europeans may think we have a higher sense of humour than
+these simple folk; but who is to judge?
+
+The Burman is, perhaps, after all that truest philosopher who finds
+latent humour in all things, and makes the most of it--still, I pray
+that, for his sake, his keenness of appreciation may not become more
+highly developed, or some day he will meet a pun, and it will kill him.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+ENTERTAINING.
+
+     "Thou didst eat strange flesh
+     Which some did die to look on."
+
+
+Entertaining is nervous work, as all the world knows. The anxiety is
+considerably increased in a small country station like Remyo, because
+one cannot be sure that the rats will not devour the food beforehand, or
+that the cook will not take that opportunity of having "fever," a polite
+synonym for getting drunk, much in use among Burman servants.
+
+The dinner party is the most general form of entertainment in Remyo, but
+not of very frequent occurrence; the reasons being, the limited number
+of available guests and the restricted nature of the menu. No sane
+person would dream of inviting another sane person to dine upon nothing
+but Burmese chicken, even displayed in various disguises from soup to
+savoury.
+
+Once a week beef can be obtained, so dinner parties are usually given
+on "beef days." Should an invitation arrive for another date, great
+excitement prevails as to what special delicacy has been procured.
+
+Once we were presented with a peacock, and gave a dinner party to
+celebrate the event, the peacock itself being the chief item of the
+celebration. Our guests arrived full of anticipation of some unknown
+treat; we received them "big with pride."
+
+But alas! the vanity of human hopes. During the early part of the
+dinner, over the chicken entrées, the conversation turned upon the
+relative merits as food of various kinds of fowl. One of our guests, a
+man full of information on every subject, interesting and otherwise,
+suddenly announced cheerfully:
+
+"One bird I may tell you is not fit for human food, and that bird is a
+peacock."
+
+Thereupon ensued an awful pause, in the midst of which the servants
+entered, carrying the peacock in all its glory.
+
+Nothing could be done. The bird was shorn of its tail, so to relieve
+our guest's mind we alluded to it as "goose," but no one could have been
+for an instant deceived. And the worst of it was, our guest was quite
+right, it was not fit for human food.
+
+Another source of anxiety on giving a dinner party in Remyo is the
+decoration of the table. A Burmese loogalay has his own ideas about
+table decorations, and these ideas he will carry out, even if to do so
+obliges him to leave all his other work undone. In vain we may try to
+explain that we prefer to arrange the flowers ourselves, he looks
+pained, waits till we have completed our arrangements and have retired
+to dress, and then pounces upon the table and places his own elaborate
+decorations on the top of what we fondly imagined a triumph of artistic
+arrangement.
+
+And his decorations are indeed elaborate; round every piece of glass,
+china, or cutlery he weaves a marvellous pattern, sometimes in bits of
+bracken, sometimes in coloured beads or rice, and occasionally in rose
+petals. When all is finished, the table looks like a kaleidoscope, and
+one is afraid to move a spoon or glass lest the design be destroyed.
+
+On Christmas eve a large and important dinner party was given by some
+old inhabitants of the station. All the Europeans were invited, and it
+was intended that the evening should be spent in jovial and merry games
+like a typical Christmas eve at home. But alas! never was an
+entertainment beset with greater difficulties.
+
+In the first place, nearly all the guests upon whom we most depended for
+amusement sent word that they had fever. We suspected that fever at the
+time, and suspected it still more next day, when we heard of a jovial
+bachelor gathering that same evening in the house of one of the stricken
+ones.
+
+Then the weather was not cheering. It was a terribly cold night, and the
+houses in Remyo, being mostly of Government design, consequently the
+same for both hills and plains, are not calculated to keep out the
+cold; there are large chinks in the unpapered walls, and few of the
+doors and windows will shut. In this particular house there was no fire
+place, only a small stove which gave out about as much warmth as a
+spirit kettle. We all felt grateful to our host and hostess for their
+hospitality, and did our best to be entertained and entertaining in our
+turn, but it is hard to keep up a cheerful appearance and jovial
+spirits, in evening dress, in a mat house, with no fire and the
+temperature almost down to freezing point.
+
+We played games such as "Kitchen Furniture" and "Family Post" which
+necessitated plenty of movement, and gave every one in turn an
+opportunity of occupying the chair by the stove.
+
+That part of the evening which I enjoyed most was when I made the mulled
+claret. I had no idea how to make it, but I should obtain uninterrupted
+possession of the stove during the operation, so I volunteered for the
+task. I put the claret, and anything suitable and "Christmassy," I could
+think of, into a saucepan, and stirred it over the stove until the
+other guests became suspicious, and I was forced to abandon my warm
+post.
+
+I did not like the result at all, and I noticed the other guests lost
+interest in it as a drink after the first sip, though they clung to
+their glasses, using them as impromptu hand warming pans.
+
+But what proved the greatest check upon the enjoyment of the evening was
+the great anxiety of the guests for the welfare of the furniture.
+
+Our host and hostess were on the point of leaving the station, and as is
+the custom, had sold their furniture to the other residents, though they
+retained it in their house until departure. Now when one has just
+bought, and paid for, say, a set of drawing room chairs, or china
+ornaments, one does not enjoy seeing the former subjected to the rough
+usage of a game of "Bumps" nor the latter endangered by a game of Ball.
+Consequently, each and all were busily engaged during the evening in
+protecting their prospective possessions, and had little opportunity of
+abandoning themselves to enjoyment.
+
+One very amusing instance of this was the behaviour of the new owners of
+the carpet. It was a poor carpet, old, faded, and thread-bare, but it
+was the only carpet in the station and the recent purchasers regarded it
+with pride. They looked anxious all the evening, when chairs were
+dragged about over weak spots, and peg glasses were placed in dangerous
+proximity to restless feet.
+
+But the climax of their concern was reached when "Snap dragon" was
+proposed. The game was hailed with delight by every one (there really is
+a little imaginary warmth in the flame), but the contempt of the
+carpet-owners was unbounded. They said nothing, but looked volumes; they
+did not join in the game, but crawled about the ground round the
+revellers, busily engaged in picking up the numerous raisins scattered
+on the floor, forcibly holding back feet which threatened to crush the
+greasy fruit, and showing by all means in their power that they
+considered "Snap dragon" a most foolish amusement.
+
+Small wonder, considering all these disadvantageous circumstances, that
+the Christmas party was not an unqualified success, and that the cold
+and weary guests, plodding home in the early hours of Christmas morning,
+mentally vowed that such wild dissipation was not good for them and
+should never again be repeated.
+
+Dances are necessarily unknown in such a small station as Remyo. An
+energetic bachelor did once make an effort to give one, but as the only
+available room was the ticket office at the railway station, the only
+available music the bagpipes of the Goorkhas, and the only available
+ladies five in number, he was reluctantly obliged to abandon the
+project.
+
+A much enduring form of entertainment in Remyo is the musical afternoon,
+or evening party. The inhabitants assemble in turns at one of the three
+houses which boast a piano; but the repertoire of the combined station
+is limited, and as every one expects to sing on these occasions
+(ignorance of time and tune being considered no drawback), and further,
+intends to sing one or other of the few songs most popular in the
+station, things are not in any sense as harmonious as they should be.
+
+This great eagerness to perform entailed much manoeuvring to obtain
+first possession of the piano, and it was amusing to watch the
+expressions of mingled indignation and scorn on the faces of others less
+fortunate, when they recognised the prelude to what they each claimed as
+their own particular song.
+
+The singer's triumph, however, was not without compensating
+disadvantages, his efforts being assisted by a distinctly audible chorus
+in undertone which would cling to him throughout the song in spite of
+his endeavours to throw off the encumbrance by means of abrupt changes
+of tempo, and variations in the air; and this professed appreciation of
+the performance evoked from the singer such gratitude as one would
+expect under the circumstances.
+
+No! On the whole we did not "entertain" much in Remyo; we contented
+ourselves with quiet, domestic lives, enlivened but occasionally by such
+outbursts of wild revelry as I have described.
+
+[Illustration: Decoration]
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+ADVENTURES.
+
+     "Things are seldom what they seem"--"H.M.S. Pinafore."
+
+     "I haven't braved any dangers, but I feel as if I knew all about
+     it"--(Rudyard Kipling.)
+
+
+But all this time I am wandering from the real subject of this book,
+_i.e._, myself and my adventures, and as wandering from the straight
+path is an unpardonable error, it behoves me to return speedily to my
+subject, and recount a few of the soul-stirring incidents which befell
+me during some of my many bicycling expeditions alone into the depths of
+the jungle.
+
+This bicycling out of sight of human habitation, into the depths of the
+jungle, sounds rather a brave and fearless proceeding, so I will not
+correct the statement, but in parenthesis, as it were, I will remark
+that once only did I venture more than half a mile from Remyo, and that
+whenever I had turned the corner of the circular road, which shut out
+the last view of my brother's house, my heart sank, and I became a prey
+to the most agonising fears. Every instant I expected a tiger to bound
+upon me from the jungle at the side of the road, a cobra to dart out its
+ugly head from the overhanging branch of a tree, or a body of dacoits to
+pounce down upon me and carry me off to their lair in triumph. My mind
+was filled with useless speculation as to whether I and my bicycle would
+be swifter than a panther, and with what "honeyed words of wisdom" I
+should best allay the wrath of the "Burman run amuck," should fate throw
+one of these in my way.
+
+I derived no pleasure from that lonely mile and a half of the circular
+road, which must be traversed before again arriving at the haunts of
+civilisation; I never entered upon it without a shiver of nervous
+expectation, or left it behind without a sigh of relief, and yet I was
+forced by my overweening craving for adventure, to ride out at every
+opportunity to explore this dreary waste of jungle! Like the great
+"Tartarin" of "Tarasconnasian" memory, my "Don Quixote" spirit drove me
+to seek adventures, however gruesome, while my "Sancho Panza" mind ever
+timidly pined for home and safety.
+
+
+The first time my Quixotic expectations were fulfilled, was one evening
+when I was riding later than usual. The sun had set, and the short
+eastern twilight was rapidly darkening into night. I was cycling along
+quickly, eager to reach home before being overtaken by the gathering
+darkness, when suddenly, on turning a corner of the road, I saw, about a
+hundred yards in front of me, a long black thing, presumably a python,
+stretching half across the road, and curving up its huge head, as though
+ready to attack.
+
+I do not suppose any bicycle ever stopped so abruptly as mine did at
+that moment, and I must confess that my descent from the machine was
+rapid rather than graceful.
+
+After I had sorted myself and the bicycle, I stood up, my senses
+somewhat steadied by the sudden contact with mother earth, and
+considered the situation. The python did not appear to have moved much,
+and had, apparently, as yet taken no notice of my appearance; could it
+be asleep? I suppose pythons do sleep sometimes?
+
+If I turned back, behind me lay three miles and more of jungle bordered
+road, full of endless possible dangers, which must be traversed before
+reaching safety, and it was growing so dark. In front, if I could but
+pass the python, I had but a quarter of a mile to ride and I should be
+in Remyo. I felt that I positively dared not face that long, dark, ride
+back; but dare I face the python? It still made no sign of movement; but
+possibly it was shamming sleep.
+
+Then suddenly there came to me in my need, not a mysterious voice, but a
+timely recollection. It was a recollection of one of the stories told me
+by the versatile policeman; a story of how he had behaved successfully
+under similar circumstances, except that in his case the obstacle was a
+leopard. I determined to follow his example.
+
+Summoning all my courage to assist me in performing this fearsome deed,
+I mounted my bicycle, and with beating heart and trembling limbs, I rode
+straight towards the reptile, ringing my bell, shouting, and making as
+much noise and commotion as possible. Straight on I rode, almost
+desperate with fear,----and then suddenly I ceased to shout, I stayed my
+reckless pace, and finished my ride in gloomy silence, for on nearer
+inspection the mighty python, the object of all my terror, turned out to
+be nothing more alarming than the fallen branch of a tree.
+
+Another adventure (which but for my habitual prudence might have ended
+more seriously) befell me at almost exactly the same spot, but in the
+day time. I was riding along cheerfully, feeling particularly brave,
+when suddenly I beheld about a quarter of a mile in front of me three
+strange beasts.
+
+They rather resembled to my mind rhinoceri, but each had two horns. I
+had never seen them before (I have no particular desire ever to see them
+again) and I had not the least notion what they might be; whether wild
+beasts of the jungle or tame household pets, but their personal
+appearance rather suggested the former. I dismounted hastily, and
+considered the matter. I did not wish to appear cowardly, even to my
+bicycle; on the other hand, being of a peaceful nature, I had no desire
+to enter into a hand-to-hoof struggle with three utterly unknown
+quantities.
+
+On they came, usurping the whole of the road, with a sort of
+"push-me-aside-if-you-dare" look about them, which I found particularly
+unpleasant. Their gait was rolling and pompous, but they occasionally
+relieved the monotony of their progress by prodding one another
+playfully with their horns. This engaging playfulness of disposition did
+not appeal to me.
+
+But I remembered the python incident, and scorned my fears, I would go
+on and face the beasts. I remounted, looked again at the horns of the
+advancing animals, thought of my family and friends, and then, somehow,
+my bicycle seemed to turn round by itself, and I found myself speeding
+as quickly in the opposite direction as any record breaker who ever
+rode.
+
+On arriving home, I casually mentioned what I had encountered, and
+learned that my friends were "water buffalos," animals of the mildest
+disposition unless roused, but when roused, most unpleasant to
+encounter. They have frequently been known to pick up a dog with their
+horns, and break its bones over their backs. They can pick a mosquito
+off their backs with the tip of their horns, in fact they are quite
+skilled in the use of the latter, and had I not luckily decided to ride
+in the opposite direction when I encountered these enterprising beasts,
+they would, doubtless, have experienced no difficulty whatever in
+puncturing my tyre!
+
+Ostensibly, their duty in this life is to draw the plough, but in
+reality they fulfil a far higher mission. To them, and to them only, it
+is given to draw contempt upon the superiority of the Anglo Indian: to
+compass the fall of the mighty.
+
+For no sooner does a European appear riding in his pride by the river
+bed, where the water buffalo lies wallowing in the mud, than all the
+worst passions awake in the breast of the afore mentioned water
+buffalo, and he is instantly aroused to anger. He leaves the delights of
+the mud bath, and starts in pursuit of the white face, no matter who he
+may be. "Tell it not in Gath" but the water buffalo, being no respector
+of persons, has even been known to put to ignominious flight the "Indian
+Civilian" and the "Bombay Burman." The pursuit is long and determined,
+the attack almost inevitable, unless the pursued be rescued by the
+opportune advent of a native, for to the water buffalo the word of the
+Burman is law, while the word of the Anglo Indian is a mere nothing.
+
+This then, "the scorning of the great ones," would seem to be the
+purpose of the water buffalos upon this earth. "How are the mighty
+fallen"! when the highest among the ruling race must trust for rescue to
+the interference of a five year old Burman.
+
+
+One day, late in the afternoon, I sallied forth on my bicycle to a spot
+half a mile down the Mandalay road, where I had noticed a specially
+beautifully blossomed wild cherry tree. My intention was to rob the tree
+of its treasure, and bear the blossom home in triumph to decorate our
+drawing room for a dinner party that evening.
+
+The place was quite deserted, so finding I could not reach the blossoms
+from the ground, I leant my bicycle against the tree trunk, and after
+much scrambling, and one or two falls, I succeeded in climbing the tree,
+and began to gather the flowers.
+
+So absorbed was I in my two-fold task of holding on to my precarious
+perch, and breaking the branches of blossom, that I did not notice what
+was going on below. Imagine then my horror and astonishment, on looking
+down, to find my tree surrounded by about a dozen of the most
+extraordinary looking natives I had ever beheld. Their clothing was most
+scanty and they were covered from head to foot with elaborate "tattoo."
+They wore tremendously large Shan hats, their hair was long and matted,
+their teeth were red with betel juice, and most of them were armed with
+long Burmese "dahs" (knives). They had come silently along the road out
+of the jungle, and now stood in a circle round my tree, pointing,
+staring, and chattering vigorously in an unknown tongue.
+
+Evidently I had fallen into the hands of a band of dacoits, and to judge
+by their appearance, they were gloating over their capture.
+
+It was no dream this time--I assured myself of that by a series of
+violent and judicious pinches; no! it was grim, very grim, earnest.
+Escape appeared impossible. I told them in as much strong English as I
+could remember, to go away, but they neither understood nor heeded. I
+tried to recollect my Burmese, but could only remember words referring
+to food, and thought it better not to put that idea into their heads;
+they might be cannibals. I tried one or two shouts, but that made no
+impression on them. There seemed no hope; they still stood there,
+pointing and grinning savagely; they had evidently no intention of
+relinquishing their prey.
+
+Then, trying to smile in a nervous and conciliatory manner, I slowly
+descended the tree. How I longed for false teeth, a glass eye, a wooden
+leg, or some other modern invention, with which people in books of
+adventure are wont to overawe the natives who thirst for their blood.
+Alas! I had nothing of the sort.
+
+I could not, obviously, sit in the tree all night, so sadly and
+doubtfully I descended to throw myself on their mercy.
+
+I reached the ground, and stood with my eyes shut waiting the end.
+
+The end showed no intention of coming, so I opened my eyes, and
+discovered to my astonishment that not I but my bicycle was the object
+of all this attention. I was to them a matter of no interest whatever,
+but the cycle they could not understand.
+
+Joyous with relief I hurriedly demonstrated the workings of my bicycle
+to this party of, not dacoits, but most harmless wood cutters, and then
+mounting rode away, followed for some distance by an awe-struck and
+admiring crowd. My fears as usual were unfounded, but the drawing room
+was not decorated with cherry blossom that or any other evening.
+
+It is difficult, for those to whom the bicycle is now as common as
+blackberries, to imagine the astonishment with which the natives view
+the machine for the first time. In Remyo itself bicycles were well
+known, but frequently on the roads I met strangers from neighbouring
+villages, and the astonishment and terror depicted on their faces when
+they beheld me riding on this unknown thing was almost laughable. They
+would fall back into the ditch with their mouths open, and remain
+staring after me as long as I was in sight.
+
+Once, I remember, I and another lady rode out to a little village in the
+jungle about three miles from Remyo. The road, a mere jungle track, was
+awful, but we succeeded at last in arriving at our destination. We left
+our cycles in the compound of the "hpoongyi kyaung," and climbed a
+neighbouring hill to see a quaint pagoda, which crowned its top. After
+thoroughly examining the pagoda, and the numerous images which surround
+it, we returned to our cycles.
+
+What was our astonishment to find the entire population of the village
+assembled in the compound, all having apparently taken up their
+positions there, preparatory to seeing some entertainment. The Head of
+the village approached us humbly, and in a long speech explained that
+though he (evidently a travelled gentleman) had told his subordinates
+all about the wonderful machines we rode, yet they would not believe
+him. Would we, as a great condescension, mount and ride round the
+compound, that all might see that his words were true.
+
+Willing to oblige him, I consented at once, mounted, and did a little
+"gymkhana business," rather cleverly, I thought, considering the rough
+ground. Imagine my astonishment and indignation, when the whole audience
+became convulsed with merriment, hearty, overwhelming merriment, rolling
+on the ground, and shrieking with laughter. I cannot explain the reason
+of it; I suppose they looked upon me as a sort of travelling acrobat,
+and their laughter was a sign of approbation of my tricks. But I was
+very angry. I had not gone out to Burmah to become the laughing stock
+of ignorant natives, so I said a hasty farewell to the "Thugyi," who
+seemed quite pleased with the reception his companions gave me, and rode
+out of the compound and away, followed by the amused shrieks of my
+audience. I would have shaken the dust of that village from my feet, but
+that is a difficult thing to achieve successfully on a bicycle.
+
+The Burmans are a merry folk, but methinks at times their humour carries
+them too far.
+
+[Illustration: Decoration]
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+BEASTS AND REPTILES.
+
+     The animals came in one by one
+     Till Noah, he thought they would never have done.
+
+     And they all came into the Ark.
+     For to get out of the rain.
+
+
+Rats! Hamlin Town (with Bishop Hatto thrown in) cannot offer a
+comparison with our sufferings from these pestilent vermin.
+
+During the day time they contented themselves with playing in twos and
+threes about the house, getting in the way of our feet, and generally
+making themselves a nuisance. But at night when we had retired to rest,
+they came in their hundreds, from their homes beneath the house, and to
+use an expressive Americanism "simply bought the place."
+
+I am not naturally a "Mrs. Gummidge," but in this instance I am certain
+I suffered more than any others in Remyo. Why the rats should have
+preferred my room I know not, but undoubtedly they did. They gave balls
+every night on my dressing table, and organised athletic sports, chiefly
+hurdle races, on the floor. They had glorious supper parties on my
+trunks, leaving the whole place scattered with half-eaten walnuts, bits
+of biscuit, and morsels of cheese. They had concerts and debating
+societies in the still hours of the night, brawls and squabbles at all
+times; and true to tradition, made nests inside my Sunday hats, helping
+themselves to such of my finery as took their fancy.
+
+As I have said, they came in their hundreds, and I was powerless against
+them. In vain did I sit up in bed and "shoo" and clap my hands, they
+would pause for an instant, as the revellers in Brussels paused when
+they heard the cannon of Quatre Bras, then: "On with the dance let joy
+be unconfined, no sleep till morn when rats and walnuts meet," and the
+noise would become more deafening than ever. I think they grew to enjoy
+my "shooings;" "the more noise the merrier" was evidently their motto;
+but one night when I dozed off after making myself particularly
+disagreeable, a large rat sprang upon my pillow, tore aside the mosquito
+curtains, and hit me violently with its tail. They are revengeful
+creatures.
+
+And what appetites they had? Poison they scoffed at, but ate everything
+else that was not soldered up in tin boxes, (from our Christmas pudding,
+to the Baby's pelisses, and my best gloves). Their most criminal act of
+depredation, was in regard to my brother's pipe. It was a beautifully
+grained pipe which I took out from England for a Christmas present. On
+Christmas Eve the rats penetrated into the drawer where I kept it, tore
+away the wrappings, and set to work. In the morning nothing was left but
+the stem, the perforated and jagged remains of the bowl, and a little
+heap of chawed bits of wood. My brother was very angry when I broke the
+news to him, but it wasn't my fault, they were his rats; he ought to
+have had them under better control.
+
+We got a dog, but he was useless. He was a pariah puppy, of respectable
+parents; a cheery, popular fellow, who had so many evening engagements
+among his friends in the village, that he could scarcely ever spare a
+night at home; and during the day time he mostly slept. My sister and I
+both disliked him, she because he would worry the Baby's legs, I because
+he developed such an unbounded devotion to my shoes.
+
+He never attached himself to other shoes in this way, but mine he would
+not leave alone. He carried some off every day and hid them behind the
+furniture, or if he had a quiet ten minutes to himself, he buried them
+in the compound. Many a long lost shoe did we discover when turning out
+the drawing room, or digging up the flower beds. The others were amused
+at this frolicsome trait, but it was rather a stupid joke really.
+
+I was assured by the inhabitants of Remyo that mosquitos are unknown
+there during the cold weather. If this be really the case, there must
+have been a special pilgrimage, and obviously I was the object of their
+attentions. Fresh from England, they welcomed me with a delight that
+ought to have been highly gratifying; nor could they do enough to show
+their unbounded appreciation of me. I obtained mosquito curtains, but I
+suppose I was clumsy in the manipulation of them, for I spent many a
+lively night in the company of two or three enthusiasts who kept me
+awake by their odious "ping-ping" song, and their still more odious
+attentions.
+
+There is a district in Burmah, I am told, where the cattle are provided
+with mosquito curtains, and I can quite believe it, for if they can be
+so obnoxious in the hills in the cold weather, what must they be in the
+plains in the heat! All creatures have their work in this world, and I
+suppose the mosquito was created to subdue female vanity; one cannot
+well be vain with such a complexion as they gave me.
+
+But let me quit this melancholy subject; it is impossible to be jocular
+with a mosquito, and strong language would be out of place in this book.
+
+Rats are not the only creatures in Remyo with whom we were forced to
+share our meals. The place abounds in ants, beetles, and "creeping
+things innumerable," and all these must live; which necessity we
+recognised, but wished they could live elsewhere.
+
+On the whole, I think the ant is the most objectionable of insects.
+There is a Burmese fable concerning an ant and a lion which tells how
+the ant was rewarded for assistance rendered to the lion, by receiving
+permission to go everywhere, and so that this prerogative may be fully
+exercised, the ant has, apparently, been gifted with matchless ingenuity
+in devising means to overcome all obstacles. Amongst other
+accomplishments it must have acquired the art either of swimming, flying
+or bridge building, for even the dishes of water, in the centre of which
+we placed our meals, were ineffectual.
+
+The worthy Dr. Watts tells us to "go learn of the ant to be prudent and
+wise," but though it is with the most submissive humility that I venture
+to contradict such an authority on natural history as the gifted author
+of "How doth the little busy bee," yet I must confess that I do not
+recognise in the ants the first of the virtues indicated. They
+devastated a full box of chocolates in a single night, which surely was
+hardly prudent, unless they possess iron constitutions.
+
+It was without doubt profitable for us to have constantly before us the
+example of the clever and industrious ant, and we tried to profit
+thereby, but at times we could not help feeling that the sluggard would
+have been the more acceptable companion; the ant is so painfully
+energetic, especially in the matter of absorbing food--the sluggard, I
+feel sure, had more regard for his digestion.
+
+I never learned to distinguish the names of the innumerable crawling
+creatures whom we met at table at meal times. Their sole characteristic
+is greed, and they kept me continually reminded of the plagues of
+Egypt, for they came in unlimited numbers, settling on the food,
+darkening the air with their numberless forms, and devouring everything
+eatable! They are eminently objectionable, and I defy the most devout
+lover of natural history and "beasties" generally, to find any pleasure
+in their society.
+
+One evening I was dining out, and towards the middle of dinner I
+perceived a large, hideous object nestling among the profuse flower
+decorations on the table. It didn't appear to me a very pleasant table
+companion, but as no one else remarked it, and as I dislike appearing
+disconcerted by the habits of strange countries, I said nothing about it
+so long as the creature remained quiet. But when at last it came out
+from its lair, and curling up its long tail made a run at me, I left the
+table hurriedly.
+
+To my relief the other guests also displayed uneasiness, for the object
+of my dislike was a scorpion, which had, it was supposed, been brought
+into the room with the flowers, and had remained hidden from all eyes
+but mine until its unwelcome disclosure of itself. There ensued an
+exciting chase up and down the table after the animal, till it was at
+length caught between two table spoons and drowned in a finger bowl.
+
+By little excitements of this kind the entertainments in Burmah are
+often enlivened. Some doubt has been cast upon this story by sceptical
+Europeans, but if any require proof, I can refer them to eminent members
+of the I. C. S., (men whom none would dare to doubt), who will assure
+them that such occurrences are frequent; in fact that the first place
+one would look for a scorpion would be among the flowers upon a dinner
+table!
+
+When watching the antics of a plump good tempered Jim Crow, as he
+disports himself upon a pleasant English lawn, or when listening to his
+peaceful "cawing" among the shady trees on a hot summer's day, one
+little dreams that this same harmless, law-abiding creature, when
+exposed to the degenerating influences of the east, becomes transformed
+into the most disreputable vagabond upon the face of the earth.
+
+The impudent thefts by jackdaws have long been famed, but no words can
+describe the unbounded presumption of the Burmese crows.
+
+They are always on the watch, and if food be left for an instant in a
+room with open door or window, they enter, and settle on the table
+without a moment's hesitation, helping themselves to anything that takes
+their fancy, in the coolest manner imaginable. When the loogalays carry
+the dishes of food from the kitchen to the house, these same impish
+crows pounce down on them and bear away any tempting morsels, well
+knowing that the men have their hands full, and cannot make reprisals.
+They appear to know by instinct the approach of meal times, and settle
+in crowds on the veranda rail or the window ledge, ready to carry off
+the food directly one's back is turned, and in the meanwhile they pull
+faces at us, and make rude remarks, for all the world like a collection
+of vulgar little street boys.
+
+They know no fear; they only mock and mimic "shooings" and hand
+clappings, and would laugh, I am sure, at the most awe-inspiring
+scare-crow ever erected. They sometimes go so far as to deliberately
+settle on the table and take a peck out of the cake, while one is
+sitting there, and then before they can be caught, they give a cheeky
+"caw," bow ironically, and flutter back to rejoin their admiring
+comrades (who have doubtless dared them to the act) on the veranda. I do
+not believe there exists any other creature in the world possessed of
+such boundless cheek.
+
+They have a strong sense of humour of a practical-joking kind, and one
+of their amusements in Remyo was to lure us away from the tea table by
+feigned attacks upon our pots of hyacinth bulbs, which they uprooted in
+the most devastating manner. We would fly out to the protection of our
+precious bulbs, and return to find our cakes devoured or carried away,
+by a reserve body of crows, who had been waiting in ambush behind the
+door.
+
+They occasionally combine forces with other thieves. The most wearing
+half hour I ever spent was one devoted to protecting the interest of the
+cake and the cream jug, from the hostile attacks of half a dozen crows
+and two kittens. While I lifted down the latter from the table the
+former settled upon the cake, and when I turned my attentions to them,
+the kittens returned to the charge. Mercifully, allies are not usually
+forthcoming; only young, ignorant, and disobedient kittens would
+associate with the disreputable crows; all properly brought up birds and
+beasts avoid association with them. Even the vultures, who sat all day
+on the trees shading the hospital, were contemptuous of those wicked
+"gamin" the crows.
+
+Dogs abound in every Burmese village, and they and the pigs are the
+chief scavengers of the place. Their number is legion, for it is
+contrary to the Buddhist religion to take life, so all puppies are
+allowed to live; and as it is further considered an act of merit to feed
+them, they have a fairly pleasant existence.
+
+The pariah dog performs his scavenging duties conscientiously, but he
+possesses few other merits to recommend him to one's esteem. He is at
+best a stupid, noisy, thieving brute, whose "customs are nasty and whose
+manners are none;" he occupies his time eating, sleeping, and fighting,
+and his chief amusement is to snap at the heels of the European, and lie
+across the road to upset the unwary bicyclist. Periodically, when the
+pest becomes unbearable, a day of slaughter is appointed by the Majesty
+of the Law, and all dogs who have no owner are poisoned. But in spite of
+this rigorous measure, there never seems much diminution in the numbers.
+
+Our neighbour possessed three English dogs,--two terriers and a
+greyhound. They had, no doubt, been well brought up, but had been led
+astray by evil companions, and they joined in the campaign which the
+rats, crows, and other creatures carried on against us. They delighted
+to creep into our compound, trample on the flower beds, steal my cakes
+(perhaps the household was not altogether sorry for that), and make away
+with our tennis balls. One day, they drove a herd of ponies all over our
+beloved garden, and then retired chuckling, to watch from a safe
+distance, our desperate attempts to induce the bewildered creatures to
+find the gate.
+
+The greyhound, I think, would have been a harmless creature, but the
+terriers possessed a full share of the devilry of their breed, and urged
+him to accompany them in all their audacious tricks. I believe it was
+they who persuaded three goats (the chief destroyers of our kitchen
+garden) to commence their raiding expeditions into our grounds, for the
+goats always appeared from the neighbourhood of the dog's kennels, and
+there was generally one terrier, at least, watching when Po Sin's
+energetic chase of the goats over the radish beds began.
+
+Other animals there were in the neighbourhood of Remyo, dwellers in the
+jungle, very different from the mischievous crew I have just described.
+Tiger, bear, panther, cheetah, soft-eyed gyee, hares, jackals, and
+others. Sometimes, as night drew near, I tried to picture how the
+inhabitants of the jungle would be waking from sleep and preparing for
+their busy night's work.
+
+The "Jungle Books" had of course inspired me with a great interest and
+affection for all these animals, especially "Baloo" the bear, and
+"Bagheera" the black panther, and I continued to love them so long as
+they remained at a respectable distance, but when, at times, they made
+expeditions into our neighbourhood, my admiration changed to awe.
+
+A tiger was the first visitor; he killed two ponies in the stable of a
+neighbour. Then a black panther commenced to parade, nightly, the road
+between our house and the club. He snapped up a little terrier which was
+trotting along at its master's heels one evening; he was reported to
+have been seen many times about dusk, slinking along by the road side,
+and one man broke a record on his bicycle, followed by an innocent and
+admiring pariah dog which he mistook for the panther. There is no doubt
+that the panther really did for a time haunt the road, but he was so
+useful as an excuse for the men to stay late at the club till they could
+get a lift down in someone else's dog-cart (an excuse that appeared
+quite convincing to their nervous wives) that he almost became an
+institution.
+
+From the first I distinctly disliked jackals. My bedroom window opened
+upon the back veranda, and one night I was awakened by a noise, and
+looking out I saw two of these beasts (I did not know at the time what
+they were) walking softly up and down devouring some food which the
+loogalays had left there.
+
+For some time I watched them, fascinated by these shadowy dark forms
+creeping about in the moonlight. Then, remembering that the back door
+was unfastened, that I was most probably the first person they would
+encounter should they enter, and that I had promised faithfully to
+return to England in six months, I thought it time to rouse my
+brother-in-law.
+
+Accordingly, I crept from my room, wakened him and my sister, and told
+them to get up, to bring their guns, and follow me, as the back veranda
+was full of wild animals, who might at any moment break into the house.
+They were both singularly uninterested in my information (indeed my
+brother only sleepily murmured "let them break" and went to sleep again)
+but I insisted, and at last he rose in a very bad temper and came to
+inquire into the cause of my alarm.
+
+Of course, the noise he made tumbling about and opening the door scared
+our visitors, and when he went out, the veranda was empty. A few
+scathing remarks about my powers of imagination were all the thanks I
+received for thus saving the lives of the family. Ingratitude, thy name
+is brother-in-law!
+
+After that my visitors came frequently, but I felt that I would rather
+die than risk more sarcasm, and when I found they had no evil
+intentions I grew rather to enjoy watching them. Their marvellous
+quickness, their caution, and the silence of their movements seemed to
+give a faint suggestion of what jungle life must be, though, of course,
+the jackal compared with the nobler animals, is no more than "Jacala,
+the belly that runs on four feet."
+
+After a while, our visitors were inspired to show their gratitude by
+nightly serenades. Gratitude is always delightful to meet with in man or
+beast, but I wished their's had taken some other form. A jackal's voice
+is powerful but unpleasant, and has a mournful effect upon the nerves.
+
+Of dead beasts I saw many. The jungle round Remyo seemed to be a perfect
+menagerie, and a noble panther, tiger or bear was often borne in triumph
+into the station and deposited in the centre of the Club compound, to be
+admired of all beholders.
+
+When no time could be spared for an organised shoot, a reward would be
+offered for the carcase of any panther or cheetah which might have been
+annoying a neighbouring jungle village, and the animal, when killed, was
+always brought in to be shown to my brother by the claimants of the
+reward. It was a little startling at first to have bears, panthers,
+etc., casually brought and deposited at one's front door, but we grew
+accustomed to it after a while, as one grows accustomed to all things
+but hanging. On one occasion some natives brought in the body of a huge
+leopard which had killed and eaten a man near their village (a most
+unusual proceeding for a leopard), and a terrible looking animal it was,
+with huge claws and teeth, and a sneaking deceitful face. The whole
+incident was disagreeably gruesome.
+
+On another occasion we were presented with two live bear cubs, whose
+parents had been killed. They were dear little fluffy brown creatures,
+and we longed to keep them, but they generally become a great nuisance
+when older, as they are always treacherous, and capable any day of
+trotting into the village and killing half a dozen people as a morning's
+amusement.
+
+I was strangely lucky (or unlucky, I hardly know which to call it) in
+the matter of snakes, for I did not see a single live snake during my
+visit. I constantly expected to meet one in the compound or jungle, but
+I never even found one coming up the water-hole in the bath-room, or
+coiled up in my bed. The creatures never came near me, even though I
+spread out the skin of a huge rock snake in the compound, in the hopes
+that its relations (as is invariably the custom with snakes in books)
+might be induced to assemble.
+
+The most wise looking creatures (always excepting the elephants) which I
+saw were the Burmese bullocks. Their grave, thoughtful, placid faces
+reminded me of the images of Gaudama. As they crawl along their way
+drawing the creaking bullock carts to the bazaar, or trot merrily
+through the jungle, taking gaily-attired Burmans to attend a Pwé, they
+have ever the same patient, quiet, abstracted expression, as though
+this menial work is to them a mere appendage to the deeper life of
+meditation. This is what their expression conveys to me; some think it
+denotes stupidity.
+
+The cattle belonging to the Burmese appear to be most independent
+animals. Each morning they wander away into the jungle at their own
+sweet wills, returning at night of their own accord for the milking. We
+were much astonished one day, when, in answer to our request that the
+milk might be brought earlier in future, the milkman replied with much
+"shekkohing" and humility that it could not be, as the cow did not wish
+to return earlier from her walk. The Burmans are very casual in their
+treatment and care of the cattle, numbers of which fall victims to
+tigers and other rapacious beasts.
+
+This chapter would not be complete without a word or two about the
+Burmese ponies; but who am I, who never could make head or tail of any
+pony's propensities, to presume to describe their character? Very small
+and wiry are they, very devoted to polo (which they understand quite as
+well as their masters, and which they play with the same keenness);
+conceited and obstinate; but obedient and affectionate to their masters,
+and possessing as great a love of a joke as a Burman himself.
+
+One of our ponies, "Pearl," a lovely little animal, and a splendid polo
+player, possessed all these characteristics. With her master or mistress
+she was as gentle and submissive as anyone could desire, but she assumed
+the most unpardonable airs towards all the rest of the world. She
+received caresses and attentions with a haughty disdain, turned up her
+nose at any but the very best food, and led her poor sais a most trying
+time. I admired her from afar, but we never became intimate; she
+evidently despised me, and had the most disagreeable knack of making me
+feel ignorant and small. She was too much of a lady to show her dislike
+by kicks or snaps, and treated an enemy with scornful indifference until
+he attempted to ride her, when (to use a modern colloquialism) she soon
+managed to get a bit of her own back.
+
+"Stunsail", another of our ponies, was a good old soul, of worthy
+character but worthless value. He had missed his vocation in life, for
+he ought most certainly to have been a circus pony. He was full of
+tricks, not frolicsome or spontaneous ones, but tricks carefully
+acquired by long hours of practice, such as bowing to ladies, salaaming
+for bananas, and lying down, pretending to be dead. It was nice of him
+to have taken the trouble to acquire these accomplishments, but his
+fondness for displaying them at all times was often very disturbing to
+his rider.
+
+Our third pony "John" we always thought a quiet, easy-going individual,
+until we lent him to a lady who was paying a short visit to Remyo. She
+was not an accomplished horse-woman, but would not for the world have
+confessed to the fact, for she liked to pose as quite fearless, and
+devoted to riding.
+
+"John's" strong sense of humour first became apparent in his treatment
+of her. He soon gauged the extent of the lady's equestrian powers, and
+enjoyed himself immensely. He did not unseat her or bolt with her: his
+humour was of a much finer quality; he merely consistently refused to do
+anything she wished. When she intended a short ride, "John" would keep
+her out for hours; when she was prepared for an afternoon's expedition,
+"John" would bring her home after a half-mile canter. If she announced
+her wish to visit her friends at the far side of the station, "John"
+would take her for a gallop through the jungle; when she donned her
+oldest habit to go a quiet country ride "John" would insist upon her
+calling upon her smartest neighbours, and would walk up to the front
+door and stand there until she was obliged to dismount and enter.
+
+There was no limit to the mischievous devilry of that pony. When poor
+Mrs. F. rode out with the rest of the station, her troubles were even
+greater. When her companions suggested a gallop, "John" wilfully
+assumed his slowest walk; and when everyone was riding slowly and
+conversing pleasantly together, the poor lady would suddenly, without
+any apparent reason, break off in the middle of a sentence, and set off
+at the wildest gallop through the jungle, or turn round and ride
+furiously for home. Nothing would induce her to confess that she could
+not manage her pony, so she was obliged to invent the wildest excuses
+and explanations for her conduct. Others thought it was her
+eccentricity, but we knew it was "John."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+SPORT.
+
+
+In Burmah the Tiger story takes the place occupied by the fish story in
+this country, and is stamped, I suspect, with the same unblushing
+characteristics. Judging from the tiger stories I heard, I could come to
+no other conclusion than that the Anglo-Indian is possessed of amazing
+nerve and ingenuity (qualities useful to him alike in the exploit and in
+the telling of it), and I heard him with ever increasing interest and
+wonder. The tiger is the favourite theme, though he is but of small
+account whose chronicle does not also embrace some experiences in the
+pursuit of the elephant, the bear and other fearful wildfowl indigenous
+to the country.
+
+Most men own to being a little chary about elephant hunting I found,
+but our friend the Policeman appeared to have shot them like snipe. At
+first I was rather inclined to make light of elephant shooting, they are
+such exceedingly large animals that I thought even I could hardly fail
+to bag one if I got him broadside on; but the Policeman set me right on
+that point.
+
+From his explanation, I gathered that the elephant is invulnerable save
+only in one vital part, a spot behind the ear, and the sportsman
+(according to my narrator) must be as dead on that spot as "Homocea."
+
+My informant also told me terrible stories of how the elephant will turn
+on his pursuer and trample on him, or tear him in pieces with his tusks,
+and he gave me further such blood-curdling descriptions of the
+terrifying noise made by an approaching herd of elephants crashing
+through the jungle, and trumpeting in their rage, that I felt devoutly
+thankful that I was visiting this particular district. The wild
+elephants of the neighbouring jungle, in their almost human
+intelligence, recognised the danger to themselves of conduct other than
+the most retiring and unprovocative character in a locality where the
+peace was preserved by such an ever threatening Nemesis as our
+Policeman.
+
+Bears, too, our Policeman had frequently hunted, and many a hair-breadth
+escape had he effected by running up hill (bears cannot run up hill, you
+know), or swinging from tree to tree and performing other acrobatic
+feats which the bear was too heavy to attempt with success.
+
+On one occasion, he said he had been overtaken by the bear, and his left
+arm chawed in fourteen places (I forget why the bear couldn't be content
+with one spot and how he protected himself from the animal's further
+attentions); but he didn't mind the bear so much as the well meant
+efforts of his companion, who, the hero of the episode complained, stood
+afar off and poured in a devastating fire, directed in a distracted and
+indiscriminate manner at him and the bear alike. Many and varied indeed
+were the dangers through which this seemingly fearless hunter had passed
+unscathed.
+
+Several tigers visited the neighbourhood during my visit, and caused
+great excitement among the men at the Club, who thought nothing of
+sitting up all night in an uncomfortable tree, over an unsightly "kill,"
+in hope of compassing the animal's undoing.
+
+Often, alas! they were doomed to disappointment. On one occasion when my
+brother and a friend were awaiting a tiger's approach, a mist gathered
+round them, effectually obscuring everything from their sight. So there
+they were, obliged, perforce, to sit in darkness, not daring to descend,
+and of course unable to see, and cheered by listening to the tiger
+comfortably devouring its prey, within a few yards of their ambush. The
+Engineer, when he heard this story was for patenting an electric flash
+light, which could be turned on to light the Sportsman when the tiger
+was comfortably settled down to his meal, but this original suggestion
+was ungratefully rejected, much to his disappointment.
+
+But one afternoon the Thugyi brought in word that a large tiger had been
+marked down in the neighbouring jungle, and a beat was arranged for the
+following day. Then it was that the Policeman earned our undying
+gratitude by proposing that we ladies, who had been behaving of late in
+an exemplary manner, should, for once, be allowed to accompany the
+Sportsmen, to see the great sight of our lives, a tiger shoot.
+
+I doubt whether the suggestion met with the entire approbation of the
+other males, but as the Policeman was organising the beat, and as we all
+promised to be very good and obedient, they agreed reluctantly to take
+us. Women, perhaps naturally, are considered very much "de trop" on
+these occasions. A tiger shoot is a serious, sometimes a dangerous
+business, and female frivolities and nerves would decidedly be
+embarrassments.
+
+I heard a story of a girl, reputed to be a great Sportswoman and a good
+shot, who accompanied her male friends upon one of these expeditions.
+Platforms had been built for the Sportsmen in the trees in the line of
+the beat, and she shared one with a man who was more accustomed to
+shooting and hunting than to the society of the other sex, whom he held
+in much greater awe than any wild animal, however dangerous. When the
+tiger made its appearance, the girl promptly fainted, and her poor
+companion spent a most unhappy ten minutes between the unconscious girl
+and the enraged tiger, being far more alarmed at the former.
+
+However, to return to my story, when we had given assurances that we
+never fainted, nor had hysterics, nor grew tired; and had promised
+faithfully not to move a muscle, not to speak a single word, not to
+disobey an order, and above all not to want to shoot, the men folk
+graciously allowed us to accompany them; but it was not to create a
+precedent.
+
+How excited we were and how nervous! A seat in a tree did not appear to
+me to offer much security against the tiger's attack, however high it
+might be. Tigers, I had always been told, are near relations to cats,
+and I knew cats climb trees. When I nervously breathed these doubts to
+the Policeman, he solemnly assured me that tigers will not climb, and by
+standing on their hind legs can only reach up about fourteen feet; but
+this did not convince me, for had I not seen in my nursery days (and
+early impressions are lasting ones) brilliantly coloured pictures of
+tiger shoots wherein the tiger was invariably depicted, leaping into the
+air, or climbing fiercely up the side of an elephant, while the nervous
+occupant of the howdah peered cautiously over the edge? Was I to ignore
+the lessons of my youth? I can only explain this inconsistency by
+suggesting that tigers may have changed their habits with the advance of
+civilization.
+
+Nothing was talked of that evening but tigers and tiger shooting. The
+Policeman and other local sportsmen were in great request, and their
+stories were listened to with an interest and belief which I should
+think quite astonished them. Even to the village did the excitement
+spread, for the love of sport is as prevalent among the Burmans as among
+Englishmen; and the natives are well paid for serving as beaters.
+
+Early in the morning the hunting party assembled in our compound, and,
+after partaking of a cheery "chota hazri," we set out, a merry cavalcade
+consisting of seven men, and three women, and accompanied by a
+miscellaneous collection of servants and native "shikarries."
+
+It was one of those fresh, cool, delicious mornings that make one feel
+inclined to sing with Pippa:
+
+
+     "The morning's at seven, The hillside's dew pearled."
+     "God's in His Heaven, all's well with the World."
+
+
+In spite of qualms regarding the ordeal before us, we enjoyed that early
+ride, and were a very happy, hungry crew when we arrived at the jungle
+village whither breakfast had already been despatched. We found
+everything ready, prepared by the Club Khansamah, and his staff of
+silent, well-trained loogalays, and we breakfasted in the "hpoongyi
+kyaung" itself, surrounded by images of Gaudama, by sacred pictures and
+bells; shaded by lovely groups of bamboos, and watched from afar by an
+interested crowd of young Burmans, whose shaven heads and yellow robes
+showed them to be the hpoongyi's pupils.
+
+[Illustration: A HPOONGYI KYAUNG MONASTERY]
+
+But we were not allowed to linger too long in idleness, discussing the
+merits of "the chicken and ham, the muffin and toast, and the strawberry
+jam," to say nothing of luscious pineapples, incomparable bananas
+(differing as much from the banana we meet in England, as chalk from
+cheese), the much vaunted mangostines, the objectionable (from my way of
+thinking) custard apple, and the hundred, other delicacies which our
+generous hosts had provided for our delectation. I had scarcely
+exchanged three words with the pineapples, and had only a bowing
+acquaintance with the plum cake, when the doughty Policeman gave the
+word to start.
+
+It was really extraordinary how the presence of danger and
+responsibility affected the bearing of our Policeman. The change came on
+quite suddenly, in the middle of breakfast, and was maintained till
+evening. He was transformed from a jovial, talkative personage, to one
+sombre and morose, refusing to utter a word more than was absolutely
+necessary, greeting all observations with a discouraging frown or a
+shake of the head, and, in all his movements and actions displaying the
+impressive characteristics of "Hawkeye," and other Indian Hunter friends
+of one's youth. We ladies were immensely impressed, and did our best to
+imitate his severe expression and noiseless, stalking gait, as closely
+as possible. Perhaps we presented rather a weird appearance, stealing
+along with harassed, stern set faces, and cautious steps, like stage
+pirates, but concluding that it was the proper rôle to adopt on such an
+occasion we adopted it.
+
+Outside the kyaung we met the beaters; a picturesque group in their
+bright coloured dresses, armed with sticks, cans, whistles, and
+everything sufficiently noisy to rouse "Shere Khan" from his noonday
+sleep. These beaters were despatched, under the direction of a native
+"shikarrie," to commence their work about half-a-mile to the westward,
+while we went to take up our position to the east of the rumoured
+position of the tiger.
+
+By this time the sun was up, and it was becoming very hot. For about
+half an hour we stole along in single file through the jungle. Half the
+men went before us to part the tangled bushes, the remainder brought up
+the rear, lest one of us should be lost; a possible and very unpleasant
+prospect in jungle so thick that it is impossible to see a yard around.
+We were very silent, partly from excitement, partly because silence was
+advisable; for who could tell what sleeping inhabitant of the jungle we
+might pass within a few yards.
+
+At last our leader judged that we had penetrated far enough; he halted
+the party, and assigned to each gun its position. We ladies were each
+confided to the care of a good shot, and repaired with our respective
+protectors to the trees appointed for us by our leader. After some
+original research into the difficulties of tree climbing (especially
+tree climbing when the tree has no branches within five or six feet of
+the ground), and the unpleasant sensation of missing one's footing and
+slithering down the trunk,--I at length, with the aid of much pulling,
+pushing, and other forcible assistance from my companion, attained my
+perch, and my protector climbed to a position in a tree close to mine.
+We had no platform to sit upon, but perched on the most convenient
+branches available. A branch of a tree is not the most comfortable seat
+in the world, and before the day was over I had ceased to envy "the
+birds of the air, who make their habitations among the branches."
+
+After all the sportsmen were settled in their relative positions, about
+a hundred yards apart, a weary time of waiting ensued. No one spoke.
+Everywhere around us were the mysterious humming, rustling sounds of the
+jungle, and far away to the westward we heard the faint noise of
+shouting and belaboured "tom-toms," which told us that the beaters had
+commenced their work. The strain of excitement was terrible.
+
+I measured the distance between my feet and the ground, and calculated
+that, my tree not being very high, the tiger would experience little
+difficulty in reaching me. I mechanically drew up my feet, and tightened
+my hold on my sun umbrella; I remembered my board ship companions had
+assured me that poking an animal in the eye is very effective, but I
+didn't feel much confidence in this advice. Nor did I feel much
+confidence in my oft-tried, and much vaunted presence of mind; absence
+of body would have comforted me more. I peered up among the branches,
+and decided where I would place my feet if a sudden flight to higher
+regions should be necessary. Then I came to the conclusion that I didn't
+like tiger shooting at all.
+
+I glanced at my protector; he looked cool and alert. He was one of those
+men who appear absolutely uninterested in all that is going on until the
+supreme moment arrives, when they wake up suddenly and distinguish
+themselves, after which they relapse again into their former
+indifference. I regained my courage at sight of his coolness, and
+listened.
+
+Intense stillness around and behind us; even the jungle had ceased to
+whisper. Everything seemed waiting in eager expectancy. But, before us,
+drawing ever nearer and nearer, were the beaters, rattling sticks and
+cans, whistling, shouting, and playing on "tom-toms," while between them
+and us, aroused from its heavy sleep, slinking away from the noise and
+disturbance was----what? The possibilities of a jungle drive are
+endless. Suddenly the high grass beneath my tree parted, "Now for it," I
+think. But no! it is only a gyee, hurrying away with scared eyes from
+the unknown danger behind. It may escape to-day; its enemy, man, is
+after bigger game.
+
+Ever nearer drew the beaters. "Will it never end?" I whisper. But what
+was that? A loud report close to my ear; something flashes past in the
+grass below, there is a loud roar of pain and fury, and then "all is
+over except the shouting."
+
+For a few moments we waited in astonishment that it is all over so
+quickly, and in doubt if the animal be really dead. Then everyone
+tumbled simultaneously from their perches and hurried to the spot.
+
+There lay the tiger, quite dead, but looking so lifelike that while I
+put my hand in his mouth or felt his cruel claws, I was conscious of a
+half fear lest he should be only shamming, and should come to life again
+with a sudden spring. The beautiful skin was uninjured, save where the
+bullet had entered the spine, and as we looked at him, the very emblem
+of strength and beauty lying there, slain without even a fight for life,
+I think we all felt a little pity.
+
+But pity soon gave way to triumph. The beaters arrived and crowded round
+the tiger, laughing and chattering; mocking the animal which had held
+them in such terror while he lived, and trying to steal his whiskers,
+which the Burmans value as charms.
+
+But we soon found we were hot, thirsty, and tired, so we set out on our
+return journey to Remyo, the beaters carrying our victim in triumph
+fastened on a long bamboo. News of our success had preceded us, and as
+we approached the village we were met by an immense crowd of admiring
+natives, in that condition of giggling and jabbering excitement to which
+only a crowd composed largely of Madrassees can attain. So persistent
+were the attacks made upon the tiger's whiskers, that it became
+necessary at last to tie his head up in a bag, and in that undignified
+condition he was borne home and deposited safely in the club compound,
+where during the day, he was visited and admired by every inhabitant of
+the station.
+
+Thus ended my first and only tiger shoot. How I wish I could electrify
+my readers with descriptions of expeditions wherein I myself would
+appear as the heroine, shooting tigers, and performing other moving
+exploits by flood and field. But it may not be. The eager search after
+truth which has been so noticeable lately among the British public,
+restrains such interesting flights of fancy, and in these days,
+romancers who would display their quality to an appreciative audience,
+must address themselves to the Marines, or to the British Association.
+
+There is endless variety of game in the neighbourhood of Remyo. Snipe
+are almost as common as sparrows at home; partridges, peacocks, jungle
+fowl, gyee, and hares all abound, and many an enjoyable shooting
+expedition is undertaken, sometimes with, sometimes without the excuse
+of "business" in the district.
+
+Well provided with ammunition, food, drink, rugs, and bedding, the
+Anglo-Indian sets out for two or three days sport, wandering from place
+to place, sleeping in the open sided "zayats," near the hpoongyi
+kyaungs, and spending the day in the jungle, in eager search after the
+Englishman's great desire "something to kill."
+
+Some of the native "shikarries" who accompany these expeditions are
+splendid men. They are very silent, very uninterested in, even
+contemptuous of, things not connected with sport, but devoted to their
+profession, and as keenly excited, as delighted at success, or
+disappointed at failure, as any good sportsman all the world over; and
+possessing moreover a knowledge of the habits and customs of the jungle
+folk scarcely surpassed by "Mowgli" himself.
+
+A form of sport much indulged in by the Shan chiefs in the past, but
+which has been strenuously discouraged was "Collecting Heads." The last
+exponent of the game dwelt in the hills on the Shan State border, and
+was the hereditary leader of a large tribe of men as fierce and savage
+as himself. He was an ancient chief, proud of his race, his power, and
+position; proud too of his home, and above all proud of his wonderful
+bodily strength. Many and marvellous are the stories told of his
+extraordinary doings. On one occasion, unarmed, he fought and killed a
+tiger, clinging to its throat until he throttled it. He bore the marks
+of the contest, huge scars upon his head, and throat, and chest, until
+his dying day.
+
+It was his custom (as doubtless it had been the custom of his ancestors,
+and of many of their neighbours) to descend periodically from his
+mountain heights alone and spend a few weeks in the neighbouring
+plains, engaged in his favourite hobby of collecting heads. He was not
+particular what heads he collected, but he preferred human ones when he
+could get them. He would remain in the plains for a while, way-laying,
+hunting, and slaying as many of his fellow creatures as he could meet
+with (occasionally perhaps varying the sport by killing a tiger) and at
+last when he grew for the nonce weary of this amusement, he would return
+in triumph to his tribe, and display to their admiring gaze his ghastly
+spoils.
+
+The placid native suffered his hostile inroads with that fatalism with
+which they regard all misfortune. But one day the Chief made a slight
+mistake by adding to his collection the head of an Englishman (who was
+no doubt poaching in the Chief's country) and for this departure from
+the accepted rules of the game, he paid penalty.
+
+A detachment of soldiers was despatched, who soon scattered the tribe
+and captured the offender. I met the subaltern who had been in charge of
+the escort, which brought him down to the plains, and he described to
+me the desperate efforts the fierce old man made to escape. He was bound
+hand and foot, watched night and day by four men, and his bonds were
+inspected every hour; on one of these inspections it was discovered that
+the ropes were frayed and gnawed half away. But his efforts were of no
+avail; though he had the strength of a giant he could do nothing against
+such overpowering odds.
+
+When at length they reached the plains, he turned to have a last look at
+the vanishing shadows of the hills, which no doubt he had loved with
+that silent, passionate love felt for their home by the inhabitants of
+all mountainous countries, and after a final desperate effort to kill
+himself, he suddenly seemed to relinquish all hope, and resigned himself
+stolidly to his fate.
+
+His defiance and strength seemed to pass away with that last sight of
+his beloved hills, and a broken-spirited, weak, helpless, old man was
+all that remained. They brought him to Rangoon and banished his old,
+worn-out body to the Andaman Islands, but his proud, fierce spirit fled
+back with that last look at the hills, and haunts the wild regions where
+he loved to roam.
+
+[Illustration: Decoration]
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII.
+
+THE RETURN.
+
+     "But that's all shove be'ind me--long ago and far away
+     An' there ain't no busses runnin' from the Bank to Mandalay."
+
+     "For the temple-bells are callin', and it's there that I would be
+     By the old Moulmein Pagoda, looking lazy at the sea."
+                                                       (Kipling.)
+
+
+To the stranger in this fascinating country, days are as minutes, months
+as days, and it seemed that scarcely had I arrived and commenced to look
+around me, when my visit came to an end, and sadly bidding farewell to
+Remyo and its many delights, all too soon I had to return home.
+
+Alas! too, I found I was compelled to renew my acquaintance with the
+Burmese pony, the only alternative being a bullock cart; and let those
+who have ridden forty miles along an up-country road in a Burmese
+bullock cart----but no! I do not like to think such an experience can
+have befallen my worst enemy.
+
+Once more, therefore, I mounted to the saddle, and rode, or more
+properly speaking bumped, twenty miles the first day. At the end of that
+distance I had no desire to proceed further, nor, I am sure, had the
+pony. Accordingly, we stopped at the now familiar dâk bungalow, and
+stabled ourselves and our ponies for the night. I do not know what were
+my pony's feelings that night as he thought over the events of the day,
+but they cannot have been pleasant. He was a strong-minded pony
+(possibly he had some sympathy for his rider) and having come to the
+conclusion that a repetition on the morrow of the past day's proceedings
+would be unpleasant and unwise, during the night he slipped his halter
+and gently trotted back to Remyo, accompanied by my brother's and the
+orderly's mounts.
+
+When we arose in the morning, all we found in the little hut at the
+bottom of the bungalow compound were three belated looking saddles and
+some broken bridle reins, and the only course open to us was to continue
+our journey on foot.
+
+Some people, I believe, pretend to see humour in such situations, but
+we were not amused. The heat was awful, the road almost knee deep in
+dust, and as we plodded along for several miles, losing our way in short
+cuts, scrambling down precipitous ravines and dry water courses, and
+exchanging no single word, but keeping all our breath for the exertion
+of clambering out again, I became, by comparison, almost reconciled to
+the previous day's experiences.
+
+When at last we reached the foot of the hills, and found a "gharry"
+waiting to convey us to Mandalay, we resembled pillars of dust, and were
+as thirsty as the desert. I was so tired that I forgot to be sentimental
+over the last glimpse of the hills; and as we approached Mandalay,
+beautiful in her bower of green, with the sun shining as ever on the
+"dreaming spires," the white pagodas, and the golden domes, my one and
+only desire was "Drink."
+
+I had delayed my departure from Remyo as late as possible in the hopes
+of witnessing a "hpoongyi burning," one of the most characteristic
+Burmese festivals. The holy man had died some time previously, and in
+order to do his memory due honour, his body had been preserved many
+months, and the burning, with the many strange rites and festivities
+which invariably accompany such ceremonies, was announced to take place
+the week before my departure. But from some unknown cause (perhaps they
+discovered he had been more virtuous than they at first imagined) the
+authorities suddenly decided to preserve the body until a more imposing
+pageant could be prepared, so I missed the sight; and having delayed my
+departure, I had time only to spend a few hours in Mandalay and Rangoon
+before embarking on the homeward bound steamer.
+
+It was very sad, that departure from Rangoon, where so many friends were
+left behind, as the last beauties of this bewitching country faded
+slowly from sight. The glaring noonday sunshine shed no illusory haze
+over the scene. The muddy brown water of the river and the ugly shores
+lined with factories and mills, seemed a foretaste of the matter-of-fact
+land to which we were returning; but behind rose the distant palm trees,
+and the golden dome; and the soft music of the tinkling bells of the
+pagoda, bidding us a last farewell, was wafted to us by the perfume
+laden eastern breeze.
+
+My homeward voyage was without any extraordinary incident, and in due
+course I arrived at Marseilles. This well-known port requires no
+description, but I must say a few words in its favour; it is so
+universally disparaged.
+
+The noisy, unsavoury Marseilles of the docks and harbour is very
+different from Marseilles viewed from that magnificent church, "Notre
+Dame de la garde." When we climb to the summit of the rock whereon
+stands the stately white church, surmounted by the huge golden image of
+the Virgin, keeping watch over the ships that enter the harbour, and
+shining as a beacon miles out to welcome sight to the longing eyes of
+the home coming sailor; when we look down from our height over the
+pretty little red and white houses, the graceful spires, and the
+clusters of dark green foliage nestling in the shelter of the high white
+cliffs which enclose the harbour; and again beyond the town, beyond the
+rugged brown rocks, and the placid deep blue water, to the ancient
+"Chateau D'If," dark and forbidding in the midst of the sunny landscape,
+we acknowledge that nature in the bestowal of her beauties has not,
+after all, confined her gifts to the dreaming East.
+
+I think the true reason why Marseilles is so frequently spoken of with
+disfavour is on account of the "Bouillabaisse," the terrible mixture
+which delights the palates of the natives, and which innocent strangers
+are induced to partake of under the delusion that it must therefore be
+good for human food.
+
+The only recommendation this dish possesses is the curious interest it
+arouses in one's mind as to what it is really composed of. One never
+knows what form of fish, flesh, or _bad_ red herring one may encounter
+next. The appearance of the dish resembles one's childish imaginations
+of a "Mess of Pottage." Its scent suggests Marseilles harbour, and the
+stoke hole of a Channel steamer. I myself was never sufficiently
+enterprising to taste it, but judging by the expression of haggard
+thought that overspread the features of some who were so venturesome, I
+should say the taste must be "mystic, wonderful," and that years of
+careful study are necessary to attain to a true appreciation of its
+subtle delicacy.
+
+I think the journey from Marseilles to London is the most wearisome that
+can be undertaken. After the warmth, the quiet, and the absence of hurry
+to which I had become accustomed in the East, I found the bustle and
+noise, added to the piercing cold of a European April, almost
+overpowering. I shivered on deck, as our steamer ploughed her way across
+the Channel, through a damp clinging fog, and when at last the welcome
+white cliffs came into sight, I was far too miserable to wax sentimental
+over this return to my native shore, and I longed only for tea and a
+fire.
+
+Yet after all, despite the contrast betwixt sunshine and yellow fog,
+between jungle glades and London streets, despite all the advantages
+which we know that every other clime and country can boast over our own,
+England is England still, and Home is Home.
+
+And now let me offer a word of advice to those who, like myself,
+undertake adventurous wanderings far from their native land, and recount
+the same with many embellishments. On their return home, let them beware
+of introducing to the admiring circle of their friends, any who may have
+accompanied them on their travels.
+
+I had been back at home some three months, had told my story, and had
+established my reputation, when one day a visitor from Burmah arrived.
+
+He had not been long in the house before some uncalled-for allusion was
+made to the historic occasion on which I defended my sister's house in
+Remyo from a body of dacoits. He denied all knowledge of the incident.
+Suspicions awoke in the breasts of my friends. They questioned the
+visitor about my struggle with the tiger, my adventure with the bear, my
+heroic bravery on the occasion of the shipwreck, and about all my other
+best inspired narrations.
+
+Alas! he denied them all, and my credit was gone for ever. I fancy some
+have even ceased to believe that I have been to Burmah at all, and some
+have become so suspicious as to make enquiries as to whether I really am
+myself. It is hard! and the recently notorious contributor to the "Wide
+Wide World" Magazine has my deep sympathy. Would I had lived in the days
+of Columbus; I would have discovered more than America, had I enjoyed
+such excellent opportunities as did he.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Thus ends the account of my experiences in Burmah, and of the impression
+left on my mind by this oft-described country.
+
+Perhaps distance lends enchantment to the view, and makes me forget the
+evils of the climate, the dangers and discomforts of life there, the
+slowness of locomotion, the lack of many so-called benefits of
+civilisation; and I seem to remember only a land where the sun is always
+shining and the world is always gay; where the air is heavy with
+delicious eastern scents, and filled with the harmonious music of the
+temple bells, as they are gently swayed by the whispering breeze. A land
+where the hues of earth can vie with the brilliancy of the sunset, and
+the eye is feasted with delicately blended colours.
+
+Here Beauty and Peace hold eternal honeymoon. Misery seems to have no
+place in this land of delight, but contentment ever reigns, and the
+happy Burman dreams away his life in a paradise of sunshine. No one who
+has visited this country can ever forget it, but learns to understand
+too well that fascination so well expressed by Mr. Kipling: "If you've
+'eard the East a' callin', you won't never 'eed nought else."
+
+I remember Burmah, too, as a land of picturesque buildings, of rich
+jewels, exquisite costumes, and beautiful graceful women. A land of
+kindly hearts, friendly welcomes, and ungrudging hospitality.
+
+These are remembered when the last glint of the golden-domed pagoda has
+faded into the shadowy distance, and we sail away from the peaceful
+sunshine and the palm trees, westward ho! to this hurrying, bustling
+modern world, where, though beauty exists, we have no time to appreciate
+it, and where, like King Midas of old, we would turn all we touch to
+glittering gold, and for ever destroy its charm.
+
+
+R. PLATT, PRINTER, WIGAN.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of An English Girl's First Impressions of
+Burmah, by Beth Ellis
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AN ENGLISH GIRL'S FIRST ***
+
+***** This file should be named 40001-8.txt or 40001-8.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+        http://www.gutenberg.org/4/0/0/0/40001/
+
+Produced by sp1nd, Martin Pettit and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+http://gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
+http://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://pglaf.org
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://pglaf.org
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     http://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
diff --git a/40001-8.zip b/40001-8.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a719bdf
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001-8.zip
diff --git a/40001-h.zip b/40001-h.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f8dd245
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001-h.zip
diff --git a/40001-h/40001-h.htm b/40001-h/40001-h.htm
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ebf3994
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001-h/40001-h.htm
@@ -0,0 +1,5227 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN"
+    "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd">
+
+<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
+  <head>
+    <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" />
+    <title>
+      The Project Gutenberg eBook of An English Girl's First Impressions of Burma, by Beth Ellis.
+    </title>
+    <style type="text/css">
+
+    p {  margin-top: .75em;
+         text-align: justify;
+         margin-bottom: .75em;
+         }
+
+    p.bold {text-align: center; font-weight: bold;}
+
+    h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 {
+         text-align: center; /* all headings centered */
+         clear: both;
+         }
+    h1 span, h2 span { display: block; text-align: center; }
+    #id1 { font-size: smaller }
+
+    hr { width: 33%;
+	 margin-top: 2em;
+	 margin-bottom: 2em;
+         margin-left: auto;
+         margin-right: auto;
+         clear: both;
+       }
+
+    body{margin-left: 10%;
+         margin-right: 10%;
+        }
+
+    hr.smler { width: 5%; }
+
+    table {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 5px; border-collapse: collapse; border: none; text-align: right;}
+
+    .pagenum  { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */
+            /*  visibility: hidden;  */
+                position: absolute;
+                left: 92%;
+                font-size: smaller;
+                text-align: right;
+                text-indent: 0px;
+              } /* page numbers */
+
+    .center   {text-align: center;}
+    .smaller  {font-size: smaller;}
+    .smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
+    .s12      {display: inline; margin-left: 12em;}
+    .left             {text-align: left;}
+    .tbrk	  {margin-bottom: 1em;}
+    .block            {margin-left:20%; margin-right:20%; text-align: left;}
+
+    .poem             {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; text-align: left;}
+    .poem br          {display: none;}
+    .poem .stanza     {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;}
+    .poem div        {display: block; margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;}
+    .poem div.i2     {display: block; margin-left: 2em;}
+
+    </style>
+  </head>
+<body>
+
+
+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of An English Girl's First Impressions of
+Burmah, by Beth Ellis
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
+
+
+Title: An English Girl's First Impressions of Burmah
+
+Author: Beth Ellis
+
+Release Date: June 16, 2012 [EBook #40001]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AN ENGLISH GIRL'S FIRST ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by sp1nd, Martin Pettit and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<div class="center"><a name="cover.jpg" id="cover.jpg"></a><img src="images/cover.jpg" alt="cover" /></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h1><span>AN ENGLISH GIRL'S<br />FIRST IMPRESSIONS<br />OF<br />
+BURMAH.</span><br /> <span id="id1">BY</span> <span>BETH ELLIS.</span></h1>
+
+<hr class="smler" />
+
+<p class="bold">"<span class="smcap">'Tis true 'tis strange, but Truth Is<br />
+always strange; stranger sometimes<br />than Fiction.</span>"</p>
+
+<hr class="smler" />
+
+<p class="bold">Wigan:<br />
+R. PLATT, 17, <span class="smcap">Wallgate</span>.</p>
+
+<p class="bold">London:<br />
+SIMPKIN, MARSHALL, HAMILTON, KENT &amp; CO., <span class="smcap">Ltd.</span><br />1899.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="center"><a name="i001.jpg" id="i001.jpg"></a><img src="images/i001.jpg" alt="EASTWARD HO! PASSING THROUGH THE SUEZ CANAL" /></div>
+
+<p class="bold">EASTWARD HO!<br />
+PASSING THROUGH THE SUEZ CANAL</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p class="bold">DEDICATED</p>
+
+<p class="bold">TO</p>
+
+<p class="bold">T. E.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h2><span>ILLUSTRATIONS.</span></h2>
+
+<hr class="smler" />
+
+<table summary="ILLUSTRATIONS">
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">Eastward Ho!</td>
+    <td><a href="#i001.jpg"><i>Frontispiece</i></a></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">&nbsp;</td>
+    <td>TO FACE PAGE</td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">Elephant Moving Timber</td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_32">32</a></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">Burmese Bullock Cart</td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_84">84</a></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">Native Bazaar at Remyo</td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_164">164</a></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">A Hpoongyi Kyaung</td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_224">224</a></td>
+  </tr>
+</table>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h2><span>CONTENTS.</span></h2>
+
+<hr class="smler" />
+
+<table summary="CONTENTS">
+  <tr>
+    <td colspan="2" class="left"><i>Chapter</i></td>
+    <td><i>Page</i></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">I.</td>
+    <td class="left">&nbsp;&nbsp;<span class="smcap">The Voyage</span></td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_1">1</a></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">II.</td>
+    <td class="left">&nbsp;&nbsp;<span class="smcap">Rangoon</span></td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_28">28</a></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">III.</td>
+    <td class="left">&nbsp;&nbsp;<span class="smcap">The Road to Mandalay</span></td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_46">46</a></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">IV.</td>
+    <td class="left">&nbsp;&nbsp;<span class="smcap">The Journey to the Hills</span></td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_61">61</a></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">V.</td>
+    <td class="left">&nbsp;&nbsp;<span class="smcap">An Up-Country Station</span></td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_87">87</a></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">VI.</td>
+    <td class="left">&nbsp;&nbsp;<span class="smcap">The European Inhabitants&nbsp; &nbsp;</span></td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_103">103</a></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">VII.</td>
+    <td class="left">&nbsp;&nbsp;<span class="smcap">The Burmese</span></td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_142">142</a></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">VIII.</td>
+    <td class="left">&nbsp;&nbsp;<span class="smcap">Entertaining</span></td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_168">168</a></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">IX.</td>
+    <td class="left">&nbsp;&nbsp;<span class="smcap">Adventures</span></td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_178">178</a></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">X.</td>
+    <td class="left">&nbsp;&nbsp;<span class="smcap">Beasts and Reptiles</span></td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_192">192</a></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">XI.</td>
+    <td class="left">&nbsp;&nbsp;<span class="smcap">Sport</span></td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_217">217</a></td>
+  </tr>
+  <tr>
+    <td class="left">XII.</td>
+    <td class="left">&nbsp;&nbsp;<span class="smcap">The Return</span></td>
+    <td><a href="#Page_238">238</a></td>
+  </tr>
+</table>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h2><span><span class="smcap">Introduction.</span></span></h2>
+
+<hr class="smler" />
+
+<p><i>Towards the close of my visit to Burmah I was dining one night at a
+friend's house in Rangoon, when my neighbour, a noted member of the I.
+C. S. suddenly turned to me and asked me if it was my intention to write
+a book. At my prompt reply in the negative he seemed astonished, and
+asked, what then did I intend to do with my life? I had never looked at
+the matter in that light before, and felt depressed. It has always been
+my ambition to do at Rome as the Romans do, and if, as my questioner
+clearly intimated, it was the custom for every casual visitor to the
+Land of Pagodas either to write a book or to "do something with his
+life," my duty seemed clear. I had no desire at all to undertake either
+of the tasks, but as there was apparently no third course open to me, I
+decided to choose the safer of the two, and write a book. So far so
+good, but what to write about? I have considered the merits of
+innumerable subjects, from the exploits of the old Greek heroes to green
+Carnations, but each appears to have been appropriated by some earlier
+author. The only subject which, so far as I can discover, has never
+hitherto formed the theme of song or story, is Myself, and as that is a
+subject about which I ought to know more than most folks and which has
+always appeared to me to be intensely interesting, I have adopted it as
+the theme of this, my first plunge into Literature.</i></p>
+
+<p class="tbrk">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class="center"><img src="images/i008.jpg" alt="Decoration" /></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2><span><span class="smcap">Chapter I.</span></span>&mdash;<span class="smaller">THE VOYAGE.</span>&mdash;</h2>
+
+<div class="block"><p class="center">"Who spoke of things beyond my knowledge and showed me many things
+I had never seen before."</p>
+
+<p class="center">"For to admire, and for to see, and for to behold<br />
+the world so wide."&mdash;(Rudyard Kipling.)</p></div>
+
+<p class="center"><b>&mdash;&mdash;</b></p>
+
+<p>"I am not naturally a coward, except when I am afraid; at other times I
+am as brave as a lion."</p>
+
+<p>It is an unfortunate state of existence, but such it is. From my
+babyhood I have been known to my friends and relations as one who might
+be confidently expected to behave in a most terror-stricken manner on
+all occasions when no real danger threatened; but for myself, I have
+always felt convinced that should I ever be brought face to face with
+real danger, I should behave with a coolness and courage calculated to
+win the unbounded admiration of all beholders. I say advisedly "of all
+beholders," because, possibly, were no witnesses present, I might not
+feel disposed to show so resolute a front to the danger!</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span></p><p>For example, in the case of a shipwreck, I can picture myself
+presenting my life-belt to any one in distress, in the most
+self-sacrificing manner, with the neatest little speech, quite worthy of
+"Sir Philip Sidney" himself, and from some commanding post of vantage in
+the rigging, haranguing the terrified passengers on the advisability of
+keeping their heads. I feel sure that no power on earth would prevent me
+from diving into the raging sea to rescue inexpert swimmers from a
+watery death, were such an opportunity to present itself to me.</p>
+
+<p>And yet, if I am taken out of my depth, during a morning bathe, I am
+paralysed with fear. Though a brave and expert swimmer in shallow water,
+no sooner do I find myself out of reach of dry land, than all my powers
+forsake me. I swim with short, irregular, and utterly ineffective
+strokes, I pant, gasp and struggle, and unless promptly rescued, I sink.</p>
+
+<p>Or again, I can in imagination picture myself snatching little children
+from under<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span> the hoofs of maddened horses, or with a plunge at the reins,
+stopping them in the full force of their desperate career.</p>
+
+<p>But in reality I have never yet had sufficient courage to enter into
+close intimacy with any horse, maddened or otherwise. Once, when I
+wished to ingratiate myself in the eyes of the owner, I did venture to
+pat a horse gingerly on the neck, well out of reach of mouth or heels,
+but the animal shied away promptly, and I have never repeated the
+experiment.</p>
+
+<p>Twice indeed, when a small girl, I was induced to mount to the saddle,
+and then my expectations were not disappointed. Real danger stared me in
+the face, and I was brave. When the horse, for some unaccountable
+reason, pricked its ears, tossed its head, and began to trot, I did not
+scream, I did not call for help, I merely grasped the pummel with one
+hand, the saddle with the other, shut my eyes and waited for the end.
+The end was sudden and somewhat painful.</p>
+
+<p>But in this matter-of-fact little England of ours there are few
+opportunities, outside<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span> the yellow backed novel, of meeting with real
+adventures. Picture then my delight when I received an invitation to
+spend the winter in Burmah. I knew where Burmah was; that it was bounded
+by Siam, China, and Tibet; anything was possible in a country with such
+surroundings. I was charmed to go.</p>
+
+<p>Accordingly, I bought a great many unnecessary things, as is ever the
+custom with inexperienced travellers, and started from Liverpool early
+in November, my mind filled with dreams of tiger shooting, cobra
+killing, dacoit hunting, and other venturesome deeds.</p>
+
+<p>After I had recovered from the effects of homesickness, brought on by my
+first venture into the unknown world, and sea sickness brought on by the
+Bay of Biscay, I found the ship a world of hitherto undreamt of
+delights. I suppose the voyage was much the same as all other voyages,
+but to me, naturally, it was full of enjoyments, wonders, and new
+experiences. Everything was delightful, including the "Amusement
+Committee" and "Baggage<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span> Days"; even coaling, I think, for the first
+five minutes was full of interest.</p>
+
+<p>I have since been told that my fellow passengers were not uncommon
+types, but to me they appeared the most wonderful and interesting beings
+who ever lived in this work-a-day world. Certainly, none could have been
+kinder to a lone, lorn female than were they. There were, of course, on
+board several other passengers making their first voyage, young Indian
+Civilians much advised and patronised by seniors of two years standing,
+but these were of interest only as partners in games and dances. It was
+in the real seasoned article, the self-satisfied, and immensely
+kind-hearted Anglo-Indian, in whom I found my real interest.</p>
+
+<p>And they were all very good to me. Finding me young, ignorant, and eager
+for information, they undertook my education, and taught me many things
+which I did not know before, shedding new light on all subjects, from
+"the only way to eat a banana," to the object of creation.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span></p><p>I learned that India was created that the Indian Civilian might dwell
+therein; the rest of mankind was created in order to admire the Indian
+Civilian. Something of this sort I had already heard from my
+brother-in-law, a member of that service, but one does not pay much
+attention to what brothers-in-law say.</p>
+
+<p>Burmah, I discovered, is a land where teak grows, in order that the
+"Bombay Burman" may go there and collect it. I have no very clear idea
+as to what this "Bombay Burman" may be, but suppose him to be a member
+of a society of men who uphold the principles of a late Prime Minister;
+not political, but woodcraft.</p>
+
+<p>There are other dwellers in India and Burmah; indeed, one man proved to
+me that the welfare of the British Constitution was solely dependent
+upon the efficient condition of the Burmese police force, of which he
+was an important member, but his arguments seemed to me a trifle
+involved. On the whole, the other inhabitants of these countries seem to
+be of little use or importance, unless perhaps<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span> it be to amuse and
+entertain the Indian Civilian and the "Bombay Burman" in his leisure
+hours.</p>
+
+<p>Further, I was instructed that Ceylon is a country in which dwell the
+best (and the noisiest!) fellows in the world. They have innumerable
+horse races, eat prawn curry, are prodigiously hospitable, and in odd
+hours grow tea.</p>
+
+<p>My fellow passengers also filled my eager mind with stories of wonderful
+adventure. Burmah, apparently, is crowded with tigers and wild
+elephants, of a size and ferocity which filled me with fear. But as
+every man on board appeared to have slain tigers and captured elephants
+innumerable, and that under the most surprisingly dangerous
+circumstances, I felt I should be well protected.</p>
+
+<p>I was also taught how to overcome a wild beast, should I chance to meet
+with one when weaponless.</p>
+
+<p>A bear should cause but little anxiety; it is only necessary to hit him
+violently over the nose; he will then stop and cry, and his victim will
+escape. But beware!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span> one man was so much amused at the bear's strange
+cry that he laughed and forgot to run away. The bear killed him.</p>
+
+<p>When chased by an elephant the pursued should, I believe, climb up a
+clump of feathery bamboos, where the beast cannot reach him. When I saw
+a clump of feathery bamboos I rather wondered how anyone could climb it;
+but all things are possible to one pursued.</p>
+
+<p>A tiger presents greater difficulties. If he doesn't run away when you
+wave your arms and shout, you should poke your stick through his eye
+into his brain, or get on his back, out of reach of his claws, and
+throttle him. If that fails, pretend to be dead; if that even fails, you
+must die.</p>
+
+<p>All this information I accepted gratefully and stored in my memory for
+use when opportunity should arise. In the meantime I continued to enjoy
+my voyage, and turned all my energies to mastering the science of
+board-ship games.</p>
+
+<p>The one game which I never could play was "Bull." To me it seemed the
+most foolish game ever invented. It is played<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span> by means of six flat
+pads, about two inches in diameter, and a large sloping black board,
+divided by thick white lines into twelve squares. Ten of these squares
+are marked with numbers, the remaining two with "Bs." The object of the
+player is to throw the pads on to the centre of the squares, avoiding
+the lines, which count nothing, and above all avoiding the "Bs," which
+count "minus ten." At the end of each turn the total of the numbers
+scored is reckoned, and the highest score wins.</p>
+
+<p>In the "Bull" tournament I was drawn to play with a Mr. Rod, whom I did
+not know, but who enjoyed the reputation of being an excellent player,
+and very keen to win. One morning I was practising, and playing, if
+possible, worse than usual, when I noticed a melancholy-looking man,
+seated on a camp stool, watching my performance. I was struck by his
+ever increasing sadness of expression, and enquired his name.</p>
+
+<p>He was Mr. Rod.</p>
+
+<p>In the tournament my score was minus<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span> twenty; I did not see him any more
+during the voyage!</p>
+
+<p>I learned that one or two people had seen a worse "Bull" player than
+myself. Her first three throws went overboard, the fourth went down an
+air funnel, and the fifth upset an ink-stand, showering the contents
+over an innocent spectator of the game. She never attempted to play
+"Bull" again; it had made her so unpopular.</p>
+
+<p>Great indeed are the attractions of board-ship life on a first voyage.
+The congenial companionship, the exhilarating outdoor life, the constant
+succession of games, gaieties, and amusements, the novelty of every
+thing, all tend to shed a halo over what, to the seasoned traveller, is
+merely a period of utter boredom, to be dragged through with as little
+ennui as possible. But the chief charm to me lay in the glimpse, though
+only distant, of new lands, lands which had hitherto been merely
+geographical or historical names, but which now acquired a new reality
+and interest.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span></p><p>The first few days we saw little of the land, but after the Bay was
+passed, our course lay more inland, and we saw the coast of Spain and
+Portugal, beautiful in the sunlight, red rocks and green slopes rising
+up from a sea of deepest blue.</p>
+
+<p>Then appeared on the horizon a vague shadowy cloud, which we learned was
+Africa. The first glimpse of a new continent, and a continent fraught
+with such endless possibilities is impressive; and as we drew nearer,
+and gazed on that dark range of wild, bare hills, I sympathised
+thoroughly with a wee fellow-passenger who was discovered, full of
+mingled hope and terror, looking eagerly at the dreary waste of land in
+search of lions!</p>
+
+<p>Soon again we forgot all else, when, shaping our course round the south
+of Spain, Gibraltar broke upon our view. What a wonder it is! that great
+rugged rock, shaped on the northwest like a crouching lion, rising dark,
+cold and solitary, amid the alien lands around it. Unmoved by the raging
+seas beneath, it stands calm and defiant, a fit emblem of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span> the nation to
+which it belongs. Surely no Englishman can behold Gibraltar without
+feeling proud of his nationality.</p>
+
+<p>We passed close to the north of Corsica, where the hills were covered
+with snow, though it was still early winter. A dreary inhospitable
+looking country is this: a fit birthplace for that iron-heart the First
+Napoleon.</p>
+
+<p>We passed through the Straits of Messina by full moonlight, and never
+have I beheld a scene of more fairylike beauty. The Sicilian coast
+seemed (for all was vague and shadowy) to rise in gentle slopes from the
+dark water, the land looked thickly wooded and well cultivated, and here
+and there appeared the little white towns, nestling among trees and
+vineyards, or perched beneath sheltering rocks, a peaceful and beautiful
+paradise. On the Italian coast the scenery was a complete contrast, the
+high, fierce hills stood up black and frowning against the clear sky,
+the country was wild, dreary and desolate. This mingling of peaceful
+homelike landscape, and weird rugged<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span> scenery, with the tender romance
+of the moon shining on the still dark water, reminded me, somehow, of
+Wagner's music; nothing else can so fitly represent the scene.</p>
+
+<p>Our course did not carry us very near to Crete, but we saw Mount Ida
+rising beautiful and snow-crowned in the centre of a tumultuous land.
+What scorn and pity this fair Mother Ida must feel for the miserable
+dwellers at her feet!</p>
+
+<p>We stopped at Port Said for four hours. During the first two hours I was
+charmed with the place; it seemed just like a big exhibition, everything
+was so strange and unreal. The donkeys were delightful, the Turkish
+traders so amusing, and shopping, when one has to bargain twenty minutes
+over every article, and then toss up about the price, is certainly a new
+experience.</p>
+
+<p>During the third hour I found that the heat, dust, and endless noise and
+chatter were far from unreal. I had bought every conceivable thing that
+I could not possibly want, and paid three times the proper price for it.
+The Arabs ceased to be amusing; I was bored to tears.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span></p><p>During the fourth hour I grew to hate the place and its inhabitants
+with a deadly hatred, and could have kissed the ship in my delight at
+returning to her, had she not been covered with coal dust.</p>
+
+<p>My first experience of the natives of Port Said was a long brown arm
+coming through my porthole, feeling about for whatsoever valuable it
+might find; a hearty smack with a hair brush caused it to retire
+abruptly. The last I saw of them was a pompous trader thrown overboard
+with all his wares, because he would not leave the ship when ordered.
+His companions in their boat, I noticed, busily rescued the wares, but
+seemed quite indifferent to the safety of the poor owner, whom they left
+to struggle to shore as best he could.</p>
+
+<p>It is said that one would meet everyone sometime at Port Said if one
+waited long enough; I would rather forego the meeting.</p>
+
+<p>The Canal, I believe, is generally regarded as an unmitigated nuisance,
+and indeed, the slow progress and constant<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span> stoppages make the passage
+through it a little wearisome, but on a first voyage its shores are most
+interesting. On one side are several inland seas, and small collections
+of the most wretched and impossible looking habitations that human
+beings ever inhabited, with an occasional oasis of tall green palm
+trees. From the east bank the desert stretches away apparently into
+infinity.</p>
+
+<p>I was disappointed in the desert, though I hardly know what I expected;
+I suppose the very emptiness and immensity detract from its
+impressiveness; the human eye and mind cannot grasp them. We saw several
+mirages and felt quite pleased with ourselves, though unconvinced that
+they were not really oases in the desert; they were so very distinct.</p>
+
+<p>Some of the glimpses of native life on the banks were very amusing. At
+one spot we met a camel, smiling the foolish irritating smile which is a
+camel's characteristic, speeding away at an inelegant trot, and
+distantly pursued by the owner and his friends; alas! we could not see<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span>
+the end of the race. Camels, I was told, are unwearying beasts, so
+perhaps, like "Charley's Aunt" this one is still running.</p>
+
+<p>We were greatly excited by one incident. A Dutch steamer passed us, and
+we noticed on the deck a very pretty girl, evidently very much admired
+by all the crew, and especially by one tall fine looking fellow who
+seemed on very good terms with her. Shortly after the boat had passed, a
+small steam launch hove into sight, on board of which were several men,
+mostly Turkish officials. As they passed, the skipper of the launch
+shouted various questions, and we gathered that "Mademoiselle" had run
+away and they were in pursuit. Whether it was an elopement or merely an
+escape from justice we never learned, but most of us adopted the former
+view, and hoped that the guilty steamer would be out of the canal and
+safe from pursuit, before the fussy little launch overtook it.</p>
+
+<p>We had a gorgeous sunset that night in the canal. The sky, every
+conceivable<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span> shade of yellow, violet and crimson, was reflected in the
+still waters of the canal and inland seas. The tall palm trees rose
+darkest green against the brilliant sky, while the sand of the desert
+glowed golden and salmon pink, fading in the distance to the palest
+green; and all the colours were softened by a shadowy blue haze. I have
+never seen more wonderful colouring.</p>
+
+<p>After passing Aden we steamed uninterruptedly for ten days with but
+occasional glimpses of land; we had perfect weather, and the beauty of
+everything was almost overpowering.</p>
+
+<p>I know not which hour of the day was the most exquisite: the early
+morning, with the sun rising, a ball of fire, out of the sea, making
+golden paths across the water, and the distant land blushing rosy red,
+as it peered through the hazy blue curtains which o'erhung it; or the
+full noonday, with the deep blue sky and the deep blue sea fading
+together in a pale blue mist, till the world seems changed to a blue
+ball, and we the only living things within<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span> it; or the evening, when the
+western sky turned crimson and violet, and the sun, looking strangely
+oval, went down into the sea behind a transparent green haze, while in
+the east the crescent moon sailed silver in the blue-black sky; or the
+night, when one lay alone on the upper deck, fanned by the soft night
+breeze, soothed by the monotonous swish of the water, looking into the
+unmeasured heights of the star-bespangled heavens or the impenetrable
+depths of the waters beneath, where "there is neither speech nor
+language: but their voices are heard among them," and the glory of God
+is shown forth night and day.</p>
+
+<p>We had a fancy dress ball in the Red Sea: I suppose this is usual. Ours
+was noted for the number of Japanese present. At least, I believe they
+were intended to represent Japanese (the costumes had been bought at
+Port Said as such), but as they were dressed chiefly in European evening
+dress, partially covered by a flimsy Japanese dressing-gown, their
+appearance was unique.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span></p><p>I suffered a great deal on that occasion. I was a peasant, and as is
+the custom of fancy dress peasants all the world over, I wore my hair in
+a long plait down my back.</p>
+
+<p>When my first partner approached I looked up at him in the usual polite
+and pleasing manner; he then seized my waist, plait included, in a firm
+grip and we danced off together, I with my head forcibly fixed at an
+angle such as is usually adopted by pictured good choir boys or "Souls
+awakening." I endured it for a short time; but then I began to get a
+stiff neck, and was obliged at last to ask my partner not to pull my
+hair. Alas! he was a sensitively shy youth, and was so embarrassed at my
+request that I felt I had committed an unpardonable fault.</p>
+
+<p>But I did not learn by experience: the same thing occurred with all my
+partners, and as, after the first unfortunate attempt I did not like to
+complain again, the agonies I suffered from the crick in my neck next
+day can better be imagined than described.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span></p><p>We stayed two days in Ceylon, but all attempts to describe this "Garden
+of Eden" are futile. No one, who has not seen it, can hope to realise
+the wonderful colouring of the place; the red roads, the red and white
+houses, deep blue sky, and deep blue lakes; the brilliant dresses of the
+natives, the large flaming red and blue flowers, the wonderful green of
+the palms and other tropical plants, and above all, the beauty of that
+long line of open coast, the great breakers glittering with a thousand
+opal tints in the sunlight, and beyond them the dark blue ocean,
+delicately flecked with shimmering white spray, stretching away into the
+shadowy distance, "farther than sight can follow, farther than soul can
+reach."</p>
+
+<p>We drove through the Cinnamon gardens, where the still air was heavy
+with the delicious scent, and out to Mount Lavinia, where, of course, we
+ate prawn curry. Honestly, I must confess that never before have I
+tasted anything so truly horrible; but I pretended to like it immensely.
+I suppose everybody does<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span> the same when first introduced to this
+celebrated dish: it is what might be called "an accrued taste."</p>
+
+<p>I don't think the author of "From Greenland's Icy Mountains" can ever
+have touched at Ceylon, or how could he have declared that "man is
+vile"? The Singalese are the most beautiful people I have ever beheld,
+while the European inhabitants are surely the most hospitable and
+delightful in the world.</p>
+
+<p>Perhaps, when the poet wrote those lines, he had the Turkish traders in
+his mind: they certainly are vile. One of them sold me a sixpenny
+bracelet for ten shillings. They are exactly like the spider of noted
+memory; they stand at the doors of their fascinating, dark, poky little
+shops, persuading innocent passers by to enter, "only to look round;"
+but if the poor victim once venture to "walk into their parlour," he
+will be indeed clever if he escape without emptying his purse.</p>
+
+<p>"Rickshaws" are charming; I spent every spare minute riding about in
+one. It is almost as adventurous and exciting as<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span> driving in a
+Marseilles Fiacre, and far more comfortable. I feared I had met with an
+adventure one day, for my "puller" (I don't know what else to call him)
+ran away with me, and stopping in a lonely road, began to assure me that
+I was a "handsome lady." I wondered what would happen next, but soon
+discovered that he only wanted "Backsheesh," and assuming my very
+sternest demeanour I repeated "don't bus" ("bus" to stop, being the only
+word of the language I could remember) several times, and at last
+induced him to take me back to my companions. What a valuable thing is
+presence of mind on such an occasion!</p>
+
+<p>It was shortly after leaving Ceylon that our first real adventure befell
+us. We had all retired early to bed, being weary with the long day on
+shore; the clatter of tongues and tramp of feet on deck had ceased, and
+all was silent save for the throbbing of the engines, and the quiet
+movements of the men on watch.</p>
+
+<p>Suddenly I was awakened by a hurried murmur of voices in the next cabin,
+then<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span> an electric bell rang and I was terrified to hear the cry: "Fire!
+Fire!"</p>
+
+<p>I sprang up, flung on a cloak, and rushed out into the "Alley Way,"
+which speedily became the scene of the wildest confusion.</p>
+
+<p>All the cabin doors opened, and the occupants hurried confusedly out,
+arrayed in the first garments that came to hand, asking eager questions,
+and giving wild explanations.</p>
+
+<p>Brave men, anxious to be of use, snatched children from their mothers'
+arms, while the distracted mothers, having but a vague notion as to what
+was happening, supposed the boat to have been boarded by pirates or
+kidnappers, and fought fiercely to regain possession of their infants.</p>
+
+<p>Those who prided themselves on their presence of mind, ran up and down
+with small water bottles to fling on the flames, or tried to organise a
+bucket line. Others endeavoured to tie as many life-belts as possible to
+themselves and their friends, fastening them to any part of their
+persons most easily convenient.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span></p><p>One matter-of-fact old lady began to collect cloaks, biscuits, and
+valuables from her trunk, preparatory to being cast ashore on a desert
+island, while another proceeded to wrap herself from head to foot in
+blankets, having heard that these offer a good resistance to the spread
+of the flames. Some were too terrified to do aught but scream, but the
+majority were full of self-sacrifice and bravery, and fell over, and
+interfered with one another woefully, in their endeavour to be of
+assistance to whomsoever might require their services.</p>
+
+<p>Meanwhile the original causes of the alarm&mdash;two girls who shared the
+cabin next to mine&mdash;did not for an instant cease their efforts. One,
+with a fortitude worthy of Casabianca himself, stood firmly with a
+finger pressed upon the button of the electric bell, determined to die
+rather than leave her post, while the other fought her way wildly up the
+passage, turning a deaf ear to all questions, and merely continuing to
+reiterate her cry of: "Fire! Steward! Fire!"</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span></p><p>At length (I suppose, in reality, in about three minutes after the
+first alarm, but it seemed a far longer time) a sleepy and much
+astonished steward appeared, and as soon as he could make himself heard,
+demanded the cause of the uproar. When eagerly assured that the deck was
+on fire over our heads, that in five minutes we should all be cinders
+unless we instantly took to the boats, and that the whole affair was a
+disgrace to the Company, and the "Times" should be written to if the
+speaker (an irascible "Globe trotter") survived the disaster, the
+steward stolidly denied the existence of any fire at all and
+explanations ensued.</p>
+
+<p>It was then discovered that signal rockets had been sent up from the
+deck to a signal station we were passing, and some of the sparks having
+blown into the porthole of the girls' cabin, the occupants had concluded
+that the deck was on fire, and had given the alarm.</p>
+
+<p>It took some time to make the fact of the mistake clear to everyone, but
+the steward at last succeeded in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span> allaying all fears, and we returned to
+our cabins, feeling indignant and somewhat foolish, and perhaps a little
+disappointed (now that the danger was over) that our adventure had
+turned out so tamely.</p>
+
+<p>On the following morning the Captain organised an imposing ceremony on
+the upper deck, and solemnly presented two sham medals to the heroines
+of the preceding night's adventure, thanking them for their presence of
+mind, and noble efforts to save the burning ship!</p>
+
+<p>The remainder of the voyage passed without incident, and we arrived
+safely at our destination about six o'clock one lovely Friday morning.
+The sun was just rising as we sailed up the river, tinting the brown
+water and the green banks of the Irrawaddy with a rosy light. Rangoon, a
+vast collection of brown and white houses, mills, towers, chimneys, and
+cupolas, in a nest of green, showed faintly through the blue haze; and
+rising high above a grove of waving dark green palm trees, glittered the
+golden dome of a pagoda,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span> the first object clearly distinguishable on
+shore, to welcome us to this country so rightly termed "The Land of
+Pagodas."</p>
+
+<p class="tbrk">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class="center"><img src="images/i036.jpg" alt="Decoration" /></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2><span><span class="smcap">Chapter II.</span></span>&mdash;<span class="smaller">RANGOON.</span>&mdash;</h2>
+
+<div class="block"><p class="center">"Oh! the Land of Pagodas and Paddy fields green,<br />
+Is Burmah, dear Burmah you know."</p></div>
+
+<p class="center"><b>&mdash;&mdash;</b></p>
+
+<p>This is not a book on "Burmah," but an account of my impressions of
+Burmah; therefore, for all matters concerning which I had no original
+impressions, such as its history, its public buildings, the scenery, the
+life and condition of the natives, its resources, and its future, I
+refer both the gentle and ungentle reader to the many books on the
+subject which have appeared during the past few years.</p>
+
+<p>My first and last impression of Rangoon was heat. Not ordinary honest,
+hot, heat, such as one meets with at Marseilles or in the heart of the
+desert, wherever that may be; not even a stuffy heat, such as one
+encounters in church, but a damp, clinging, unstable sort of heat, which
+makes one long for a bath, if it were not too much trouble to get into
+it.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span></p><p>I remember in my youth placing one of my sister's wax dolls (mine were
+all wooden, as I was of a destructive nature) to sit before the fire one
+cold winter's day; I remember dollie was somewhat disfigured ever
+afterwards.</p>
+
+<p>The remembrance of that doll haunted me during my stay in Rangoon; I
+felt I could deeply sympathise with, and thoroughly understand her
+feelings on that occasion; and for the first two or three hours,
+remembering the effect the heat had upon her appearance, I found myself
+frequently feeling my features to discover whether they still retained
+their original form and beauty. But after a few hours I became resigned;
+all I desired was to melt away quickly and quietly, and have done with it.</p>
+
+<p>At first I looked upon the "Punkah" as a nuisance, its unceasing
+movement irritated me, it ruffled my hair, and I invariably bumped my
+head against it on rising. But after enduring one long Punkahless
+half-hour, I came to look on it as the one thing that made life
+bearable, and the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span> "Punkah-wallah" as the greatest benefactor of
+mankind.</p>
+
+<p class="tbrk">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p>In the early mornings and evenings I became, hardly cooler, but what
+might be described as firmer, and it was at these times that the
+wonderful sights of Rangoon were displayed to my admiring gaze.</p>
+
+<p class="tbrk">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p>I saw the celebrated "Schwee Dagon Pagoda" with its magnificent towering
+golden dome, surmounted by the beautiful gold and jewelled "Htee;" the
+innumerable shrines, images, cupolas, and pagodas at its base, the
+curious mixture of tawdry decorations and wonderful wood carvings
+everywhere visible, and the exquisite blending and intermingling of
+colours in the bright dresses of the natives, who crowd daily to offer
+their gifts at this most holy shrine. It is quite futile to attempt
+description of such a place; words cannot depict form and colour
+satisfactorily, least of all convey to those who have not themselves
+beheld it, a conception of the imposing beauty of this world famed Pagoda.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span></p><p>The Burmese are a most devout people; the great flight of steps leading
+to the Pagoda is worn by the tread of many feet, and every day the place
+is crowded with worshippers.</p>
+
+<p>They begin young. I saw one wee baby, scarcely more than a year old,
+brought by his father to learn to make his offering at the shrine of
+Buddha. The father with difficulty balanced the little fellow in a
+kneeling position before a shrine, with the tiny brown hands raised in a
+supplicating attitude, and then retired a few steps to watch. Instantly
+the baby overbalanced and toppled forward on its face. He was picked up
+and placed in his former position, only to tumble down again when left.
+This performance was repeated about five times; the father never seemed
+to notice the humour of the situation&mdash;the baby certainly did not.</p>
+
+<p>One of the most interesting sights of Rangoon is that of the elephants.
+Ostensibly their work is to pile timber ready for embarkation on the
+river, but evidently they consider that they exist and work in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span> order to
+be admired by all who pay them a visit.</p>
+
+<p>And well they deserve admiration! They go about their duties in a
+stately, leisurely manner, lifting the logs with trunk, tusks, and
+forefeet; piling them up with a push here, a pull there, and then
+marching to the end of the pile and contemplating the result with their
+heads on one side, to see if all are straight and firm. And they do all
+in such a stately, royal manner, that they give an air of dignity to the
+menial work, and one comes away with the feeling that to pile teak side
+by side with an elephant would be an honour worth living for.</p>
+
+<p>During my peregrinations round the town I was taken to see the home of
+the Indian Civilian, a huge imposing building, with such an air of
+awe-inspiring importance about every stick and stone, that none save
+those initiated into the secrets of the place, may enter without feeling
+deeply honoured by the permission to do so. Even a "Bombay Burman" could
+hardly approach, without losing some of his natural hardihood.</p>
+
+<div class="center"><img src="images/i042.jpg" alt="ELEPHANT MOVING TIMBER" /></div>
+
+<p class="bold">ELEPHANT MOVING TIMBER</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span></p><p>It may have been the awe with which this building inspired me, it may
+have been my visit to the Pagoda, with its air of mysticism and unknown
+possibilities, but when I retired to my large dimly lighted bed-room
+after my first day's wanderings in Rangoon, my natural courage forsook
+me, and I became the prey to a fit of appalling terrors.</p>
+
+<p>All the ghostly stories I had ever read of the spiritualism of the East,
+of the mystic powers of "Thugs," "Vampires" and other unpleasant beings,
+returned to my mind.</p>
+
+<p>For some time I could not sleep, and when at last I did sink into an
+uneasy doze I was haunted by nightmares of ghostly apparitions, and
+powerful and revengeful images of Gaudama.</p>
+
+<p>Suddenly I awoke with the feeling that something, I knew not what, had
+roused me from my uneasy slumber. And then, as I lay trembling and
+listening, out of darkness came a Voice, weird, uncanny, which exclaimed
+in solemn tones the mystic word "Tuctoo."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span></p><p>What could it be? Was I one destined to learn deep secrets of the
+mystic world? Had the spirit, if spirit it were, some great truth to
+make known to me? if so, what a pity it did not speak English!</p>
+
+<p>"Tuctoo" remarked the voice again, this time rather impatiently.</p>
+
+<p>I racked my brains to think of a possible meaning for this mysterious
+word, but all in vain, I could understand nothing.</p>
+
+<p>"Tuctoo, tuctoo, tuctoo," it continued.</p>
+
+<p>And then, out of the darkness came another voice, an angry English
+voice, loud in its righteous indignation, the voice of my host.</p>
+
+<p>"Shut up you beast," he cried, and perhaps he added one or two more
+words suited to the occasion. I lay down and tried to pretend that I had
+not been frightened, and in doing so, fell asleep. I was introduced to
+the "Tuctoo" next day, but did not consider him a pleasant acquaintance.
+He is a lizard about a foot long, with a large red mouth, and a long
+wriggling tail; he reminded me of a baby alligator. He dwells on the
+inner walls of houses, and his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span> presence in a house is supposed to bring
+good luck, but his tiresome habit of "tuctooing" in a most human voice
+at all hours of the day or night make him rather unpopular. We chased
+him down the wall with a long "Shan" spear and caught him in a towel,
+but he looked so very pugnacious that we did not detain him from his
+business.</p>
+
+<p>Of course the most important element of life in Rangoon, in fact in all
+Burmah, is the Gymkhana.</p>
+
+<p>Apparently, the European population in Rangoon exists solely in order to
+go to the Gymkhana. It attracts like a magnet. People may not intend to
+go there when they set out, but no matter how far afield they go, sooner
+or later in the evening they are bound to appear at the Gymkhana. If
+they did not go there in the daytime they would inevitably walk there in
+their sleep.</p>
+
+<p>This renowned Gymkhana is situate in the Halpin Road (pronounced
+"Hairpin," which is confusing to the uninitiated) and is a large, open,
+much verandaed, wooden<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span> building. Of the lower story, sacred to the male
+sex, I caught only a hurried glimpse in passing, and the impression left
+on my mind was a confusion of long men, reclining in long chairs, with
+long drinks.</p>
+
+<p>On my first visit to the upper regions, I fancied myself in a private
+lunatic asylum, for there, in a large room built for the purpose, were
+numbers of men and women, to all other appearances perfectly sane,
+waltzing round and round to the inspiriting music of the military band;
+dancing, in ordinary afternoon attire, not languidly, but vigorously and
+enthusiastically, and that in a temperature such as Shadrach, Meshech
+and Abednego never dreamed of.</p>
+
+<p>But I soon discovered that there was method in this madness, for the
+heat, when dancing, was so unspeakably awful that to sit still seemed
+quite cool in contrast, and it was worth the sufferings of the dance to
+feel cool afterwards, if only in imagination.</p>
+
+<p>In another room of the Gymkhana the ladies assemble to read their
+favourite magazines, or to glower from afar upon the early birds who
+have already appropriated them.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span></p><p>And here I must pause to say a word in deprecation of the accusations
+of gossip and scandal, which are so frequently launched against the
+Anglo-Indian ladies. Not that I would for the world deny the existence
+of scandal, but what I wish to emphasise is, that the Anglo-Indians (at
+least those of the female sex) do not invent or repeat scandalous
+stories from pure love of the thing, nor from any desire to injure the
+characters of their neighbours. They are forced to do so by
+circumstances.</p>
+
+<p>For example, Mrs. A. arrives early at the Gymkhana, appropriates the
+newly arrived number of the "Gentlewoman," and seating herself
+comfortably in a good light, sets to work to read the paper from
+beginning to end.</p>
+
+<p>But soon Mrs. B. appears upon the scene, and alas! Mrs. B. has also come
+to the Gymkhana with the intention of reading from beginning to end the
+newly arrived number of the "Gentlewoman"; and, being human, Mrs. B., on
+finding her favourite paper already appropriated, is filled with a
+distaste for all other papers,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span> and a consuming desire to read "The
+Gentlewoman," and "The Gentlewoman" only. If she cannot procure the
+paper right speedily, life holds no more happiness for her.</p>
+
+<p>But alas, Mrs. A. shows no intention of relinquishing her possession of
+the paper for many hours. In vain does Mrs. B. spread "Punch,"
+"Graphic," or "Sketch," temptingly before Mrs. A's abstracted eyes, she
+is not to be influenced by honest means. Then Mrs. B. has only one
+course left to her, and adopts it.</p>
+
+<p>First she seeks and obtains an assistant to the scheme, Mrs. C. The two
+ladies then draw near Mrs. A. (who tightens her hold on the paper as
+they approach) and seat themselves on either side of their victim.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. C., assuming an expression of sweet innocence, entirely disguising
+the craft of her intentions, pretends to be deeply interested in last
+week's "Gazette," hoping thereby to demonstrate her lack of interest in
+fashion papers; Mrs. B. entices Mrs. A. into conversation.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span></p><p>After a few desultory remarks, during which the aggressor still clings
+to her prey, Mrs. B., throwing a warning glance at Mrs. C. to prepare
+her, says in a voice fraught with deep mystery:</p>
+
+<p>"Were you not astonished to hear of so and so's engagement last week?"</p>
+
+<p>No, Mrs. A. was not particularly astonished.</p>
+
+<p>But surely Mrs. A. had heard that strange story about so and so's
+behaviour towards somebody else?</p>
+
+<p>Curious, Mrs. A. had not heard of it.</p>
+
+<p>Of course Mrs. B. would not mention it to anyone else, but Mrs. A., as
+every one knows, can be trusted, and really it was so strange.</p>
+
+<p>Then calling to her aid all her powers of imagination, Mrs. B. proceeds
+to relate some astounding invention concerning so and so. Gradually, as
+she becomes more interested in the recital, Mrs. A's. fingers relax
+their hold on the precious paper, and at last it is dropped, forgotten,
+upon the table.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span></p><p>Now it is Mrs. C's. turn. In the most careless manner she draws the
+"Gentlewoman" slowly towards her, until it is out of reach of Mrs. A.,
+when she snatches it up eagerly, and retires to another table, where she
+is soon joined by the triumphant Mrs. B.</p>
+
+<p>Then poor Mrs. A., deprived of her newspaper must needs seek another
+one, but alas? they are all in use. Nothing remains for her to do but to
+imitate Mrs. B's conduct, and attract Mrs. D's attention from the paper
+she is reading, by repeating to her the story she has just heard, adding
+whatever new details may appear to her as most likely to arouse Mrs.
+D's. interest. And so the snowball grows.</p>
+
+<p>Thus it will be clear to all that the accusations are unfair, seeing
+that the gossip indulged in by the ladies at the Gymkhana is merely the
+outcome of circumstances, inventions being notoriously the children of
+necessity. It is obvious that were each lady in Burmah provided with
+every magazine and paper that her heart could desire, gossip would
+speedily cease to exist,&mdash;in the Ladies' Clubs.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span></p><p>The most extraordinary vehicle that ever existed is the Rangoon "ticca
+gharry." For inconvenience, discomfort, and danger, it has never been
+surpassed. It has been excellently described as "a wooden packing case
+on wheels." I suppose it is a distant and unfashionable relation of the
+modern four wheeler, with wooden shutters in place of windows; very
+narrow, noisy, and uncomfortable. It is usually drawn by a long-tailed,
+ungroomed and brainless Burman pony, and is driven by one of the most
+extraordinary race of men that ever existed.</p>
+
+<p>The "Gharry Wallah's" appearance&mdash;but it is scarce meet to describe his
+appearance to the gentle reader; we will say his appearance is unusual.
+His mind and character have gained him his well earned right to be
+counted among the eccentricities of the age. He is sublime in his utter
+indifference to the world at large, in the cheerful manner in which he
+will drive, through, into, or over anything he happens to meet.</p>
+
+<p>But his most noted characteristic is<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span> utter indifference to the wishes
+of his "fare."</p>
+
+<p>I have often wondered what are the secret workings of the "Gharry
+Wallah's" mind. He cannot imagine, (no man, intelligent or otherwise,
+could imagine) that a human being drives in a "gharry" for the pure
+enjoyment of the thing; and yet he never seems to consider that his
+"fare" may desire to go to any particular destination. 'Tis vain to
+explain at great length, and with many forcible gestures, where one
+wishes to go; "he hears but heeds it not." The instant one enters the
+vehicle he begins to drive at a great rate in whatever direction first
+comes into his mind. He continues to drive in that direction until
+stopped, when he cheerfully turns round and drives another way, any way
+but the right one.</p>
+
+<p>No one has yet discovered where he would eventually drive to; many have
+had the curiosity but none the fortitude to undertake original research
+into the matter.</p>
+
+<p>It is presumed that, unless stopped, he would drive straight on till he
+died of starvation.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span></p><p>Occasionally, by a judicious waving of umbrellas it may be possible to
+direct his course, but that only in the case of a very young driver. I
+have sometimes wondered whether perchance the pony may be the sinner,
+and the driver merely an innocent and unwilling accomplice. I cannot
+tell.</p>
+
+<p>But this I can say, if you crave for danger, if you seek penance, drive
+in a "ticca gharry," but if you desire to reach any particular
+destination in this century, don't.</p>
+
+<p>With the exception of a few leisure hours spent at the Gymkhana, the
+ladies of Rangoon devote their time and energy to writing "Chits."</p>
+
+<p>At first I was filled with a great wonder as to what might be the nature
+of these mysterious "Chits." I would be sitting peacefully talking with
+my hostess in the morning, when suddenly, a look of supreme unrest and
+anxiety comes over her face: "Excuse me, a moment" she exclaims, "I must
+just go and write a chit."</p>
+
+<p>She then hastens to her writing table, rapidly scribbles a few words,
+gives the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span> paper to a servant, and then returns to me with an expression
+of relief and contentment.</p>
+
+<p>But scarce five minutes have elapsed, ere the look of anxiety again
+returns; again she writes a "chit," and again becomes relieved and
+cheerful, and so on throughout the day.</p>
+
+<p>And this, I discovered was the case with nearly every European lady in
+the country. I suppose it must be some malady engendered by the climate,
+only to be relieved by the incessant inditing of "chits." I myself never
+suffered from the ailment, but should doubtless have fallen a victim had
+I remained longer in the country.</p>
+
+<p>The contents and destination of these "chits" seem to be of little or no
+importance; so long as notes be written and despatched at intervals of
+ten minutes or so during the day, that is sufficient. What finally
+becomes of these "chits" I cannot pretend to say; whether they are
+merely taken away and burnt, or whether they have some place in the
+scheme of creation, I never discovered.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span></p><p>Nor do I know whether the male population suffers from the same malady.
+Does the Indian Civilian, seated in his luxurious chamber in that
+awe-inspiring building of his, does he too spend his life in writing
+"chits"? Does the "Bombay Burman," in some far off jungle, "alone with
+nature undisturbed," does he too sit down 'neath the shade of the
+feathery bamboo, or the all embracing Peepul tree, and write and
+despatch "chits" to imaginary people, in imaginary houses, in an
+imaginary town?</p>
+
+<p>I know not, it is futile to speculate further upon the matter. The
+mystery of "chit" writing is too deep for me.</p>
+
+<p>I would gladly have remained longer in Rangoon, but it might not be.
+Mine was no mere visit of pleasure; I had travelled to Burmah in search
+of adventure, such as is scarcely to be met with in the garden party,
+dinner party, and dance life of Rangoon. And so, one hot afternoon, with
+anxious beating heart, I said "Good bye" to security and civilisation,
+and set forth on my journey to Mandalay!</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2><span><span class="smcap">Chapter III.</span></span>&mdash;<span class="smaller">THE ROAD TO MANDALAY.</span>&mdash;</h2>
+
+<div class="block"><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<div>"I travelled among unknown men,</div>
+<div class="i2">In lands beyond the Sea."&mdash;(Wordsworth).</div>
+</div></div>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<div>"Where the tints of the earth, and the hues of the sky,</div>
+<div>In colour tho' varied, in beauty may vie."&mdash;(Byron).</div>
+</div></div></div>
+
+<p class="center"><b>&mdash;&mdash;</b></p>
+
+<p>The distance by rail from Rangoon to Mandalay is 386 miles, and it takes
+twenty-two hours to accomplish the journey. Trains, like everything else
+in this leisurely country, are not given to hurrying themselves. "Hasti,
+hasti, always go hasti" is the motto for Burmah. As an example of the
+unintelligible nature of the language I may explain that "Hasti" means
+"slow!"</p>
+
+<p>It is a pleasant journey however, for the carriages are most
+comfortable, and the scenery through which the rail passes affords
+plenty of interest to a new comer.</p>
+
+<p>I enjoyed my journey, therefore, immensely. I left Rangoon about five
+o'clock in the afternoon, well provided with books, fruit and chocolates
+for the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span> journey, and under the protection of a hideous Madrassee Ayah.</p>
+
+<p>I believe she was in reality a worthy old creature, but she was so
+exceedingly ugly, so very unintelligible (though most persistent in her
+efforts at conversation) and so intolerably stupid, that I could not
+feel much affection for her, and I only consented to put up with her
+company as a protection against the thieves who haunt the various
+halting places along the line, ready to steal into carriages and carry
+away all the portable property of the traveller. I had heard such blood
+curdling stories of these train thieves that I should have felt quite
+nervous about undertaking the journey, had I not fortunately disbelieved them.</p>
+
+<p>I do not for an instant believe my ayah would have been any real
+protection, for whenever we stopped she was seized with an overpowering
+hunger, and spent all her time bargaining with the vendors of bananas,
+huge red prawns, decayed fish, dried fruits, cakes, and other horrible
+articles, who swarmed upon the stations.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span></p><p>These delicacies, and others which she prevailed upon my tender heart
+to buy for her, she wrapped up in a large red pocket handkerchief, and
+hid under the seat; what was their final fate I cannot pretend to say,
+but for her sake I trust she didn't eat them.</p>
+
+<p>She was a much travelled lady and had visited many of the towns along
+the route, and persisted in waking me up at all odd hours of the night,
+to point out the houses where her various Mem-Sahibs had lived, or the
+bungalows inhabited by the commissioners, matters in which I was not at
+all interested.</p>
+
+<p>She kept me awake with long rambling stories about her many relations,
+stories which, as they were told in the most vague and unintelligible
+"pigeon English" I found it very difficult to understand, but the gist
+of all was that she was very old and very poor, and she was sure I was a
+very kind and generous "Missie," and would not fail to reward her
+handsomely for her services.</p>
+
+<p>I failed to discover what these same<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span> services might be, for beyond
+fanning me vigorously when I did not require it, and at three o'clock in
+the morning procuring me from somewhere an unpleasant mixture she called
+coffee, and which I was obliged to throw secretly out of the window, she
+did nothing except talk. I suppose she was really no worse than the rest
+of her tribe, and cannot be blamed for getting as much as she could out
+of her exceedingly innocent and easily humbugged "missie."</p>
+
+<p>At the first station at which we stopped, I was much astonished to see
+all the natives on the platform come and kneel down in the humblest
+manner round the door of my carriage, and remain there "shekkohing" and
+pouring forth polite speeches in Burmese, until our train left the station.</p>
+
+<p>I have never been backward in my high opinion of my own importance, but
+I hardly expected the fame of my presence to have spread to this distant
+land, and felt considerably embarrassed, though, of course, highly
+gratified, by such unexpected tokens of respect.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span></p><p>I received these attentions at every station with the most royal bows
+and smiles, until at last, on dismounting from the train at the dining
+station, I discovered that the carriage next to mine was occupied by a
+noble Shan Chief and his retinue, and it was to him, not to my
+insignificant person, that all this homage was paid. I felt quite
+annoyed at the discovery. He was really such a hideous, yellow, dirty
+old man, and he sat at the window, surrounded by his wives and
+attendants, smoking grumpily, and paying not the least attention to the
+flattering speech of his admirers, who must have been far more gratified
+by my gracious condescension.</p>
+
+<p>The chief stared at me a great deal when I passed his window to re-enter
+my carriage, and shortly after the train was again set in motion he sent
+one of his wives to inspect me, possibly with a view to offering me a
+position among the number of his dusky spouses. She opened the door, and
+stared at me for some time, taking not the slightest notice of my
+requests that she would withdraw, until<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span> she had sufficiently examined
+me, when she retired as abruptly as she had appeared, and I lost no time
+in securing the door behind her.</p>
+
+<p>Evidently her report was not satisfactory, for I have heard no more of
+the episode. Possibly, she reported that I looked bad tempered; I
+certainly felt so!</p>
+
+<p>What a fascinating journey that was. During the first part of the route
+the country is less interesting, consisting merely of flat stretches of
+Paddy fields and low jungle scrub. But all this I passed through by
+night, when the soft moonlight lent a witching beauty to the scene.</p>
+
+<p>There is something so inexplicably beautiful about night in the east, so
+comparatively cool, so clear, so quiet, and yet so full of mysterious
+sound,</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<div>"A little noiseless noise among the leaves,</div>
+<div>Born of the very sigh that silence heaves."</div>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>The cloudless heavens sparkle with a myriad stars, the moonlight seems
+brighter and more golden than elsewhere, and the noisy, weary, worn old
+earth hides away<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span> her tinsel shams and gaudiness, which the cruel
+sunlight so pitilessly exposes, and appears grander and nobler under
+night's kindly sway.</p>
+
+<p>The scenery in Upper Burmah is exceedingly fine. The great rocky hills,
+each crowned with its pagoda, rise on all sides, stretching away into
+the distance till they become only blue shadows. Everywhere are groves
+of bananas and palm trees, forests of teak and bamboo, and vast tracks
+of jungle, attired in the gayest colours.</p>
+
+<p>The pagodas, mostly in a half-ruined condition, are far more numerous
+here than in Lower Burmah, and raise their white and golden heads from
+every towering cleft of rock, and every mossy grove. As we neared
+Mandalay we passed many groups of half-ruined shrines, images and
+pagodas, covered with moss and creeper, deserted by the human beings who
+erected them, and visited now only by the birds and other jungle folk,
+who build their nests and make their homes in the shade of the once
+gorgeous buildings.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span> They look very picturesque, rising above the
+tangled undergrowth that surrounds them, but pitifully lonely.</p>
+
+<p>We stopped at a great number of stations en route. The platforms were
+always crowded with natives of every description, at all hours of the
+day and night, selling their wares, greeting their friends, or smoking
+contentedly, and viewing with complacency the busy scene.</p>
+
+<p>The natives of India, with their fierce sullen faces, frightened me; the
+cunning Chinese, ever ready to drive a hard bargain, amused but did not
+attract me; but the merry, friendly little Burmese were a continual
+delight.</p>
+
+<p>They swaggered up and down in their picturesque costumes, smoking their
+huge cheroots, the men regarding with self-satisfied and amused contempt
+the noisy chattering crowd of Madrassees and Chinese, the women
+coquetting in the most graceful and goodnatured way with everyone in
+turn. When they had paid their devoirs to the old chief, they would
+crowd round my carriage window offering<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span> their wares, taking either my
+consent or refusal to be a purchaser as the greatest joke, and laughing
+merrily at my vain attempts to understand them.</p>
+
+<p>I fell in love with them on the spot, they are such jolly people and
+such thorough gentlefolk.</p>
+
+<p>It was very interesting in the early morning to watch the signs of
+awakening life in the many Burmese villages through which we passed. To
+see the caravans of bullock carts or mules setting out on their journey
+to the neighbouring town, and the pretty little Burmese girls coquetting
+with their admirers as they carried water from the well, or chattering
+and whispering merrily together as they performed their toilet by the
+stream, decking their hair with flowers and ribbons, and donning their
+delicately coloured pink and green "tamehns."</p>
+
+<p>Here we met a procession of yellow-robed "hpoongyis" and their
+followers, marching through the village with their begging bowls, to
+give the villagers an opportunity of performing the meritorious duty of
+feeding them. There a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span>procession of men, women, and children walking
+sedately towards a pagoda, with offerings of fruit or flowers; to
+contemplate the image of the mighty Gaudama, to hear the reading of the
+Word, and to meditate upon the Holy Life. Now we passed a group of
+little hpoongyi pupils with their shaven crowns and yellow robes,
+sitting solemnly round their teacher in the open-sided kyaung. Anon we
+passed a jovial crew of merrymakers in their most brilliantly coloured
+costumes, jogging along gaily behind their ambling bullocks, to some Pw&eacute;
+or Pagoda Feast, which they are already enjoying in anticipation.</p>
+
+<p>And the strange part of it all is that nowhere does one see sorrow,
+poverty, or suffering; outwardly at least, all is bright and happy. I
+suppose the Burman must have his troubles like other folk, but if so he
+hides them extremely well under a cheerful countenance. Surely in no
+other inhabited country could we travel so far without beholding some
+sign of misery.</p>
+
+<p>I think the great charm of Burmah lies in the happiness and brightness
+of its<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span> people; their merriment is infectious, and they make others
+happy by the mere sight of their contentment.</p>
+
+<p>We arrived at Mandalay about three o'clock in the afternoon. The last
+few hours of the journey were most unpleasantly hot, and I was very glad
+when we steamed into the station, and I saw my brother-in-law (who had
+descended from his "mountain heights" to meet me) waiting on the
+platform. The journey had been delightful in many ways, but after being
+twenty-two hours boxed up in a railway carriage with a chattering ayah,
+it was a great relief to reach one's destination at last.</p>
+
+<p>When I arrived in Mandalay I was filled with an overwhelming gratitude
+towards Mr. Rudyard Kipling for his poem on the subject.</p>
+
+<p>Rangoon, fascinating and interesting though it be, is yet chiefly an
+Anglo-Indian town, but Mandalay, though the Palace and Throne room have
+been converted into a club, though its Pagodas and shrines have been
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span>desecrated by the feet of the alien, and though its bazaar has become a
+warehouse for the sale of Birmingham and Manchester imitations, yet,
+spite of all, this former stronghold of the Kings of Burmah still
+retains its ancient charm.</p>
+
+<p>When first I experienced the fascination of this wonderful town, my
+feelings were too deep for expression, and I suffered as a soda water
+bottle must suffer, until the removal of the cork brings relief.
+Suddenly there flashed into my mind three lines of Mr. Kipling's poem,
+and as I wandered amid "them spicy garlic smells, the sunshine and the
+palm trees and the tinkly temple bells," I relieved my feelings by
+repeating those wonderfully descriptive lines; I was once again happy,
+and I vowed an eternal gratitude to the author.</p>
+
+<p>Before the end of my two days stay in Mandalay I began to look on him as
+my bitterest foe, and to regard the publication of that poem as a
+personal injury.</p>
+
+<p>The Hotel in which we stayed was also occupied by a party of American
+"Globe Trotters." In all probability they were<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span> delightful people, as
+are most of their countrymen. They were immensely popular among the
+native hawkers, who swarmed upon the door steps and verandahs, and sold
+them Manchester silks and glass rubies at enormous prices. But we
+acquired a deeply rooted objection to them, springing from their desire
+to live up to their surroundings.</p>
+
+<p>We should have forgiven them, had they confined themselves to eating
+Eastern fruits and curries, wearing flowing Burmese silken dressing
+gowns, and smattering their talk with Burmese and Hindustani words. But
+these things did not satisfy them. Evidently they believed that they
+could only satisfactorily demonstrate their complete association with
+their surroundings, by singing indefatigably, morning, noon, and night,
+that most un-Burmese song, "Mandalay."</p>
+
+<p>They sang it hour after hour, during the whole of the two days we spent
+in the place.</p>
+
+<p>In their bedrooms, and about the town they hummed and whistled it,
+during<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span> meals they quoted and recited it. At night, and when we took our
+afternoon siesta, they sang it boldly, accompanying one another on the
+cracked piano, and all joining in the chorus with a conscientious
+heartiness that did them credit.</p>
+
+<p>We tossed sleepless on our couches, wearied to death of this endless
+refrain that echoed through the house: or, if in a pause between the
+verses we fell asleep for a few seconds, it was only to dream of a
+confused mixture of "Moulmein Pagodas," flying elephants, and fishes
+piling teak, till we were once again awakened by the uninteresting and
+eternally reiterated information that "the dawn comes up like thunder
+out of China 'cross the Bay."</p>
+
+<p>The only relief we enjoyed, was that afforded by one member of the party
+who sang cheerfully: "On the Banks of Mandalay," thereby displaying a
+vagueness of detail regarding the geographical peculiarities of the
+place, which is so frequently (though no doubt wrongly) attributed to
+his nation.</p>
+
+<p>And here I pause with the uncomfortable feeling that in writing my
+experiences of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span> Burmah, I ought to make some attempt to describe this
+far-famed city of Mandalay, the wonders of its palaces, the richness of
+its pagodas, the brilliancy of its silk bazaar, and its other thousand
+charms.</p>
+
+<p>But such a task is beyond me. Others may aspire to paint in glowing
+colours the fascinations of this royal town, and the beauty of the
+wonderful buildings; but in my modesty I refrain, for to my great regret
+I saw little of them. My stay in the town was too short, and I was too
+weary after my journey, to admit of much sight-seeing. Beyond a short
+drive through the delightful eastern streets, and a hurried glimpse of
+the Throne Room, I saw nothing of the place, and the only thing I
+clearly recollect is the Moat, which I admired immensely, mistaking it
+for the far-famed Irrawaddy!</p>
+
+<p>Therefore I will pass by Mandalay with that silent awe which we always
+extend to the Unknown, and leave it to cleverer pens than mine to depict
+its charms. "I cannot sing of that I do not know," especially nowadays
+when so many people <i>do</i> know, and are quite ready to tell one so.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2><span><span class="smcap">Chapter IV.</span></span>&mdash;<span class="smaller">THE JOURNEY TO THE HILLS.</span>&mdash;</h2>
+
+<div class="block"><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<div>"Old as the chicken that Kitm&ucirc;tgars bring</div>
+<div>Men at d&acirc;k bungalows,&mdash;old as the hills."</div>
+<div><span class="s12">&nbsp;</span>(Rudyard Kipling.)</div>
+</div></div>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<div>The horse who never in that sort</div>
+<div>Had handled been before,</div>
+<div>What thing upon his back had got</div>
+<div>Did wonder more and more.&mdash;"John Gilpin."</div>
+</div></div></div>
+
+<p class="center"><b>&mdash;&mdash;</b></p>
+
+<p>We left Mandalay at half-past three in the morning, (our heavy baggage
+having preceded us in bullock carts the night before) and with our
+bedding and hand baggage packed with ourselves into a "ticca gharry," we
+started at that unearthly hour on our seventeen miles drive to the foot
+of the hills, where our ponies awaited us.</p>
+
+<p>As we left the last lights of the town behind us, and drove out into the
+dreary looking country beyond, I was filled with a mixture of elation
+and alarm, but when my brother-in-law (I knew not whether seriously or
+in fun) remarked that he hoped we should meet no dacoits, the feeling of
+alarm predominated.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span></p><p>It would be an adventure, and I had come there purposely for adventure,
+but an adventure does not appear so fascinating in the dark at three
+o'clock in the morning, as it does at noonday. I was quite willing to
+have it postponed. However my companion seemed at home, and settled
+himself to sleep in his corner, so I endeavoured to do likewise.</p>
+
+<p>But somehow sleep seemed impossible. The shaking and rattling of the
+uncomfortable "gharry," the strange shadows of the trees, and the dark
+waste of paddy fields stretching before and around us, faintly showing
+in the mysterious grey light of the dawn, all combined to prevent me
+from following my brother's example.</p>
+
+<p>On and on we drove along that interminable road, cramped, weary, and
+impatient; I sat in silence with closed eyes, waiting longingly for the
+end of our journey, wondering what strange people inhabited this dreary
+tract of land, and dreaming of the possible adventures to be encountered
+in the wild country towards which we were travelling.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span></p><p>Suddenly the gharry stopped abruptly; there was a loud cry from the
+gharry wallah, a confused medley of Burmese voices, and I sprang up to
+find we were surrounded by a large body of evil looking men, armed with
+"dahs." We were "held up" by dacoits!</p>
+
+<p>My brother started up, shouting eager threats and imprecations to the
+men, and sprang from the carriage. I caught a glimpse of him surrounded
+by natives, fighting fiercely with his back to the carriage door, while
+he shouted to me to hand him his revolver from the back seat of the
+gharry.</p>
+
+<p>But ere I could do so, my attention was called to the matter of my own
+safety. Three natives had come round to my side of the gharry, the door
+was wrenched open, and a huge native flourishing a large "dah" rushed at
+me, evidently with the intention of procuring the revolver himself.</p>
+
+<p>At that moment all feelings of fear left me, and I only felt furiously
+angry. Quickly I seized my large roll of bedding, and pulling it down
+before me received the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span> blow in the folds; then when the knife was
+buried in the clothes, I crashed the revolver with all my force in the
+face of the dacoit, and he fell unconscious at my feet, leaving the
+"dah" in my possession.</p>
+
+<p>The remaining natives rushed at me, and I had no time to lose. Pulling
+down my brother's bedding roll, I doubled my defence, and from behind it
+endeavoured to stab at the attacking natives with the captured "dah,"
+dodging their blows behind my barricade. The door of the gharry was
+narrow, and they could only come at me one at a time.</p>
+
+<p>After playing "bo peep" over my blankets for a little time, they
+retired, and I was just turning to assist my brother, when suddenly,
+they rushed my defence, one behind the other, pushed over my barricade
+with me under it, fell on the top themselves, and we all rolled a
+confused heap on the bottom of the gharry.</p>
+
+<p>At that moment the man at the pony's head relaxed his hold on the
+bridle, and the animal, with a speed and energy unusual in Burmese
+ponies, escaped and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span> galloped down the road, dragging behind it the
+battered gharry, on the floor of which I and the two natives were
+struggling.</p>
+
+<p>Faster and faster went the pony, till we seemed to be flying through the
+air, the door hanging open, and we three fighting for life inside. I
+made haste to crawl under a seat, and again barricaded myself with my
+bedding roll, but it was quite clear to me that the struggle could not
+last much longer; I was at my wit's end, and my strength was nearly
+exhausted.</p>
+
+<p>Then the natives climbed on to the seat opposite, and pulled and pushed
+my barricade, until at last I could hold it no longer. They dragged it
+away, and threw it from the gharry. My neck was seized between two slimy
+brown hands, I was pulled from my hiding place, a dark evil looking face
+peered gloatingly into mine, and then I suppose I lost consciousness,
+for I remember nothing more until&mdash;&mdash;I awoke, and found we had arrived
+at the foot of the hills; not a dacoit had we encountered, and the whole
+affair had been only a dream.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span></p><p>I was disappointed: I feel I shall never be so heroic again, or have
+such another opportunity for the display of my bravery.</p>
+
+<p>I cannot remember the name of the village at the foot of the hills where
+we found our ponies waiting, and I certainly could not spell it if I
+did. It consisted of a mere half a dozen native huts, set down by the
+road side, and looked a most deserted little place. While our ponies
+were saddled, and our baggage transferred from the gharry to the bullock
+cart in attendance, we walked round the village, very glad to stretch
+our legs after the cramped ride.</p>
+
+<p>All the natives stared at us, as they went leisurely about their daily
+work; the girls in their brightly coloured, graceful dresses, going
+slowly to the well, carrying their empty kerosene oil cans, the almost
+universal water pots of the Burman; the men lounging about, smoking big
+cheroots, and evidently lost in deep meditation; and the old women
+sitting in their low bamboo huts, grinding paddy, cooking untempting
+looking mixtures, or<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span> presiding over the sale of various dried fruits
+and other articles, for in Burmah there is rarely a house where
+something is not sold.</p>
+
+<p>On the whole, we on our part did not excite very much interest. It needs
+more than the advent of two strangers to rouse the contemplative Burman
+from his habitual state of dreaminess.</p>
+
+<p>In one hut I saw a family sitting round their meal, laughing and
+chatting merrily, while a wee baby, clad in gorgeous silk attire (it
+looked like the mother's best dress) danced before them in the funniest
+and most dignified manner, encouraged and coached by an elder sister,
+aged about seven. They looked such a merry party that I quite longed to
+join them, for I was beginning to feel hungry, but I changed my mind on
+a nearer view of the breakfast, a terrible mixture of rice and curried
+vegetables, with what looked remarkably like decayed fish for a relish.</p>
+
+<p>All this time, though outwardly calm and happy, I was inwardly suffering
+from ever increasing feelings of dread at the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span> thought of the ordeal
+before me. As I have explained elsewhere, I have always had a terror of
+horses, and had not ridden for eleven years, not in fact since I was a
+child, and then I invariably fell off with or without any provocation.
+But here was I, with twenty-six miles of rough road between me and my
+destination, and no way of traversing that distance save on horseback.
+Knowing my peculiarities, my brother had begged the very quietest pony
+from the police lines at Mandalay, the animal bearing this reputation
+stood saddled before me, and I could think of no further excuse for
+longer delaying our start.</p>
+
+<p>Accordingly, I advanced nervously towards the pony, who looked at me out
+of the corners of his eyes in an inexplicable manner, and after three
+unsuccessful attempts, and much unwonted embracing of my brother, I at
+last succeeded in mounting, and the reins (an unnecessary number of them
+it seemed to me) were thrust into my hands.</p>
+
+<p>I announced myself quite comfortable and ready to start; may Heaven
+forgive<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span> the untruth! But evidently my steed was not prepared to depart.
+I "clucked" and shook the reins, and jumped up and down on the saddle in
+the most encouraging way, but the pony made no movement.</p>
+
+<p>My brother, already mounted and off, shouted to me to "come on." It was
+all very well to shout in that airy fashion, I couldn't well "come on"
+without the pony, and the pony wouldn't.</p>
+
+<p>At last he did begin to move, backwards!</p>
+
+<p>This was a circumstance for which I was wholly unprepared. If a horse
+runs away, naturally, he is to be stopped by pulling the reins, but if
+he runs away backwards, there seems nothing to be done; whipping only
+encourages him to run faster. I tried to turn the pony round, so that if
+he persisted in continuing to walk backwards, we might at any rate
+progress in the right direction, but he preferred not to turn, and I did
+not wish to insist, lest he should become annoyed; to annoy him at the
+very outset of the journey I felt would be the height of imprudence.</p>
+
+<p>The natives of the village gathered<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span> round, and with that wonderful
+capacity for innocent enjoyment for which the Burmese are noted, watched
+the performance with the deepest interest and delight, while I could do
+nothing but try to appear at ease, as though I really preferred to
+travel in that manner.</p>
+
+<p>At last however, my brother would wait no longer, and shouting to the
+orderly and sais, he made them seize the bridle of my wilful pony, and
+drag us both forcibly from the village.</p>
+
+<p>And so we started.</p>
+
+<p>Oh! that ride&mdash;what a nightmare it was! The pony justified his
+reputation, and was certainly the most quiet animal imaginable. He
+preferred not to move at all, but when forced to do so, the pace was
+such that a snail could easily have given him fifty yards start in a
+hundred, and a beating, without any particular exertion. He did not
+walk, he crawled.</p>
+
+<p>In vain did I encourage him in every language I knew, in vain did the
+sais and orderly ride behind beating him, or in front pulling him, our
+efforts were of no<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span> avail. Once or twice, under great persuasion, he
+broke into what faintly suggested a trot, for about two minutes, but
+speedily relapsed again into his former undignified crawl.</p>
+
+<p>My brother at last lost patience and rode on ahead, leaving me to the
+tender mercies of the sais, who, no longer under the eye of his master,
+and seeing no reason to hurry, soon ceased his efforts, and we jogged on
+every minute more slowly, till I fell into a sleepy trance, dreaming
+that I should continue thus for ever, riding slowly along through the
+silent Burmese jungle, wrapped in its heavy noon-day sleep, till I too
+should sink under the spell of the sleep god, and become part of the
+silence around me.</p>
+
+<p>But the scenery was glorious, and I had ample time to admire it. Our
+road wound up the side of a jungle clad hill, around and above us rose
+other hills covered with the gorgeous vari-coloured jungle trees and
+shrubs. Immediately below us lay a deep wooded ravine, shut in by the
+hills, and far away behind us stretched miles and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span> miles of paddy fields
+and open country shrouded in a pale blue-grey mist. I cannot imagine
+grander scenery; what most nearly approach it are views in Saxon
+Switzerland, but the latter can be compared only as an engraving to a
+painting, the colour being lacking.</p>
+
+<p>What most impressed me was the absolute silence, and the utter absence
+of any sign of human life. All round us lay miles and miles of unbroken
+jungle, inhabited only by birds and beasts; all nature seemed silent,
+mysterious, and void of human sympathies as in the first days of the
+world, before man came to conquer, and in conquering to destroy the
+charm. It is impossible quite to realise this awe-inspiring loneliness
+of the jungle</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<div>"Where things that own not man's dominion dwell."</div>
+<div>"And mortal foot hath ne'er or rarely been."</div>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>We halted for breakfast at a small wayside village, where we found the
+usual mat "d&acirc;k" bungalow, guarded by the usual extortionate khansamah,
+and surrounded by the usual dismal compound full of chickens.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span></p><p>Here it was that I made my first acquaintance with the world renowned
+Burmese chicken, an acquaintance destined to become more and more close,
+until it blossomed into a deep and never to be forgotten hatred.</p>
+
+<p>The Burmese chicken, whose name is legion, is a thin haggard looking
+fowl, chiefly noted for his length of leg, and utter absence of
+superfluous flesh. He picks up a precarious living in the compounds of
+the houses to which he is attached, and leads a sad, anxious life, owing
+to the fact that he is generally recognised as the legitimate prey of
+any man or beast, who at any time of the day or night may be seized with
+a desire to "chivy."</p>
+
+<p>Consequently he wears a harassed, expectant look, knowing that the end
+will overtake him suddenly and without warning. One hour he is happily
+fighting with his comrades over a handful of grain, within the next he
+has been killed, cooked, and eaten without pity, though frequently with
+after feelings of repentance on the part of the eater.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span></p><p>It is, doubtless, the kindly heart of the native cook that prevents him
+killing the bird more than half an hour before the remains are due at
+table; he does not wish to cut off a happy life sooner than is
+absolutely necessary. It is, doubtless too, the same gentle heart that
+induces him to single out for slaughter the most ancient of fowls,
+leaving the young and tender (if a Burmese chicken ever is tender) still
+to rejoice in their youth. If this be so, there is displayed a trait of
+native character deserving appreciation&mdash;which appreciation the result,
+however, fails as a rule to secure.</p>
+
+<p>It is wonderful what a variety of disguises a Burmese chicken can take
+upon itself. The quick change artist is nowhere in comparison.</p>
+
+<p>It appears successively as soup, joint, hash, rissoles, pie, patties and
+game. It is covered with rice, onions, and almonds, and raisins, and
+dubbed "pillau"; it is covered with cayenne pepper and called a savoury.
+It is roasted, boiled, baked, potted, and curried, and once I knew an
+enterprising housekeeper mix it with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span> sardines and serve up a half truth
+in the shape of "fish cakes."</p>
+
+<p>But under whatever name it may appear, in whatever form it be disguised,
+it may be invariably recognised by the utter absence of any flavour
+whatever.</p>
+
+<p>After breakfast, my brother assumed his most stern judicial expression
+and gave me to understand gently but firmly, that he refused to continue
+our journey under existing circumstances, and that if I really could not
+induce my pony to progress faster, I must mount that of the orderly, and
+leave the laggard to be dealt with by a male hand. I could not object; I
+was alone in a distant land far from the protection of my family; I
+could only agree to the proposal with reluctance, and disclaim all
+responsibility with regard to my own or the new pony's safety.</p>
+
+<p>Accordingly, the saddles were changed, much to the dissatisfaction of
+the orderly, and I was speedily mounted on my new steed.</p>
+
+<p>At first the exchange appeared to be an improvement. The pony had a
+brisk<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span> walk, and we progressed quite as rapidly as I wished. I began to
+feel an accomplished horse-woman, and when my brother suggested a two
+miles canter, I consented after but a few objections.</p>
+
+<p>We started gaily, and we did canter two miles without a break, and the
+pony and I did not part company during the proceedings, but that is all
+I can say.</p>
+
+<p>I have frequently heard foolish people talk of the unspeakable joy of a
+wild gallop, the delightful motion, the exhilaration of rushing through
+the air, with a good horse beneath you. Once I listened to such talkers
+with credulity, now I listen in astonishment. Our gallop was wild enough
+in all conscience, but after the first three minutes I became convinced
+it was the most uncomfortable way of getting about I had ever
+experienced.</p>
+
+<p>I started elegantly enough, gripping my pummel tightly between my knees,
+and sitting bolt upright, but I soon gave up all ideas of putting on
+unnecessary "side" of that sort; this ride was no fancy exhibition, it
+was grim earnest.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span></p><p>I and the pony were utterly out of sympathy with one another, and I am
+sure the latter did all he could to be tiresome out of pure
+"cussedness." Whenever I bumped down, he seemed to bump up, and the
+result was painful; whenever I pulled the reins he merely tossed his
+head scornfully; and I am sure the saddle must have been slipping about
+(though it appeared firm enough afterwards), for I landed on all parts
+of it in turn.</p>
+
+<p>To add to my troubles my sola topee became objectionable.</p>
+
+<p>It was not an ordinary looking topee; it being my first visit to the
+East, of course I had procured an exceedingly large one, and in addition
+to its great size, it was very heavy and very ugly. I fancy it was
+originally intended to be helmet shaped, but its maker had allowed his
+imagination to run away with him, and when finished, it was the most
+extraordinary looking headdress that ever spoilt the appearance of a
+naturally beautiful person.</p>
+
+<p>It resembled rather a swollen plum pudding in a very large dish, than a
+respectable sola topee.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span></p><p>It was so constructed inside as to fit no existingly shaped human head,
+and consequently required to be balanced with the greatest care. By dint
+of sitting very upright I had succeeded in keeping it on my head during
+the earlier stages of my journey, but now I had more important matters
+to think of than sola topees, and consequently it became grievously
+offended, and (being abnormally sensitive, as are most deformed
+creatures) it commenced to wobble about in a most alarming manner.</p>
+
+<p>On and on we went. I had almost ceased to have any feeling in my legs
+and body, and began to wonder vaguely what strange person's head had got
+on to my shoulders, it seemed to fit so loosely. We flew past the second
+milestone, but my brother, who rode just ahead of me, absorbed no doubt
+in the joys of the gallop, never stayed his reckless course. I could not
+stop my pony, because both hands were, of course, engaged in holding on
+to the saddle. I lost my stirrup; it was never any good to me, but my
+foot felt lonely without it. My knees were cramped, my head ached, and
+finally<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span> my sola topee, unable longer to endure its undignified wobble,
+descended slowly over my face and hung there by its elastic, effectually
+blocking out everything from my sight.</p>
+
+<p>I would have infinitely preferred to have fallen off, but did not know
+how to do so comfortably.</p>
+
+<p>At last, with a mighty effort I crouched in the saddle, gingerly
+released one hand, pushed aside the topee from before my mouth, and
+yelled to my brother to stop. He turned, saw something unusual in my
+appearance, and, thank goodness! stopped.</p>
+
+<p>It could not have lasted much longer; either I or the pony would have
+been obliged to give way. When I indignantly explained to my brother
+what the pony had been doing, all he said was that he hoped to goodness
+I had not given it a sore back. I know its back could not have been a
+quarter as sore as was mine! I did not gallop again that or any other
+day.</p>
+
+<p class="tbrk">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p>We spent the night in another "d&acirc;k" bungalow, consisting of three mat
+walled<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span> sleeping apartments, scantily furnished, and an open veranda
+where we dined. We dined off chicken variously disguised, and being very
+stiff and weary, retired early to bed.</p>
+
+<p>During dinner, my brother casually remarked that on his last visit there
+he had killed a snake in the roof, and on retiring to my room I
+remembered his words and trembled.</p>
+
+<p>I don't know much about snakes, save only that a "king cobra" alone will
+attack without provocation; therefore, if one is attacked, the reptile
+is almost certain to be a snake of that species.</p>
+
+<p>What precautions should therefore be taken to defend one's life I have
+not ascertained, but I give the information as affording at any rate
+some satisfaction in case of attack.</p>
+
+<p>The roof of my room was thatched, and looked the very dwelling place of
+snakes, and how could I possibly defend myself from attack (supposing
+king cobras inhabited that district), when they might drop down on me
+while I slept, or come up<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span> through the chinks and holes in the wooden
+floor, and bite my feet when I was getting into bed? The situation was a
+desperate one. What was to be done?</p>
+
+<p>After half an hour, I was forced to abandon my plan of sitting up all
+night on the table, under my green sun-umbrella; the table was so
+rickety that I fell off whenever I dozed, and the situation became
+painful.</p>
+
+<p>At last a new plan occurred to me. I took a wild leap from the table to
+the bed, and succeeded in rigging up a tent with the mosquito curtain
+props, and a sheet. Then, secure from all dangers from below or above, I
+fell fast asleep, and awoke next morning to find myself still alive and
+unharmed.</p>
+
+<p>I am convinced that more than one cunning serpent that night returned
+foiled to its lair, having at last encountered a degree of cunning
+surpassing its own.</p>
+
+<p>We made an early start next morning, as we had still twelve miles to
+ride before the day grew hot.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span></p><p>The orderly objected to ride further on a snail, and had put my saddle
+once more on my original pony, so I finished my ride without further
+mishap.</p>
+
+<p>It was a delicious morning; the early lights and shadows of dawn and
+sunrise enhanced the beauty of the richly coloured jungle bordering the
+road. On all sides we were surrounded by the tall, dark, waving trees,
+and the thick green, pink, golden, and red-brown under-growth, save
+occasionally when the close bushes were cleared a little, and we caught
+tempting glimpses of shady moss covered glades, chequered by the
+sunlight peering through the thick leaves. Everything was very still,
+and except for the soft whisper of the jungle grass, a great silence
+brooded over all.</p>
+
+<p>Suddenly there broke upon my ears a strange sound, weird, mystic,
+wonderful. It was a heavy, grating, creaking noise, more horrible than
+aught I had heard before. Nearer and nearer it came; and now it could be
+distinguished as the cry of some mighty beast in pain, for the first and
+fundamental noise was varied<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span> by shrill screams and deep, painful
+groans. Was it a wounded elephant? No! surely no living elephant ever
+gave voice to such terrible, awe-inspiring sounds. It must be some far
+mightier beast, some remnant of the prehistoric ages, which remained
+still to drag out a lonely existence, hidden from human eyes, in this
+far Burmese jungle.</p>
+
+<p>But now it was close upon us; the noise was deafening, making day
+hideous; round the corner of the road appeared four huge, horns, two
+meek looking white heads, and&mdash;&mdash;a bullock cart.</p>
+
+<p>That was the sole cause of this hideous disturbance, of these
+ear-piercing shrieks which rent the air. As usual, the wheels of the
+cart were formed of solid circles of wood, not even rounded, and
+carefully unoiled, and from these emanated those horrible shrieks,
+groans, and creaks, which are the delight and security of the Burmese
+driver, and the terror of tigers and panthers haunting the road.</p>
+
+<p>How eminently peaceful must be the life of the bullock-cart driver! He
+knows<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span> no hurry, no anxiety, no responsibility.</p>
+
+<p>Hour after hour, day after day he jogs along, seated on the front of his
+cart, occasionally rousing himself to joke and gossip with friends he
+may meet on the way, or to encourage his team by means of his long
+bamboo stick, but more often he sits wrapped in a deep sleep, or
+meditation, trusting for guidance to the meek solemn-faced bullocks
+which he drives. His work is done, his life is passed in one long
+continuous, sleeping, smoking, and eating sort of existence; the thought
+of such a life of careless, uneventful, unambitious happiness, is
+appalling.</p>
+
+<div class="center"><img src="images/i096.jpg" alt=">BURMESE BULLOCK CART" /></div>
+
+<p class="bold">BURMESE BULLOCK CART</p>
+
+<p>I grew somewhat weary of the frequent opportunities I had of studying
+the bullock carts and their drivers during that morning ride. Every cart
+jogged on its noisy way along the very centre of the road; but it is not
+meet that a Sahib and a representative of the great Queen should occupy
+anything but the very centre of the road when taking his rides abroad.
+Consequently whenever we met a bullock cart both cavalcades had to stop.
+It was a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span> work of time to make the driver hear the orderly's voice,
+above the creaking of the wheels; more time was occupied in rousing him
+from his sleep, and explaining to him the situation; and more time again
+in explaining matters to the bullocks, and inducing them to drag the
+cart into the ditch.</p>
+
+<p>It took five minutes to pass each cart, and as we met a great many that
+morning as we approached the village, our progress was considerably
+delayed. I should have preferred for the sake of speed to have ridden in
+the ditch myself; at the same time I am aware such opinions are unworthy
+of the relation of an Indian Civilian.</p>
+
+<p class="tbrk">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p>My entrance into Remyo, the future scene of my experiences, at half-past
+ten that morning was striking, though hardly dignified.</p>
+
+<p>Picture to yourself a sorrowful, huddled figure, seated on a weary
+dishevelled looking pony, covered from head to foot with red dust, and
+surmounted by a large battered topee "tip-tilted like the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span> petal of a
+flower." I had long ceased to make any pretence at riding. I sat
+sideways on my saddle, as one sits in an Irish car, grasping in one hand
+the pummel and in the other my large green sun umbrella, for the sun was
+terribly hot. How weary I was, and how overjoyed at arriving at my
+destination!</p>
+
+<p>But even yet my troubles were not over. There was the house, there my
+sister waiting in the veranda to welcome me, but directly my pony
+arrived at the gate of the compound he stopped dead. Apparently it was
+not in the bond that I should be carried up to the door, and so no
+further would he go. I was too impatient to argue the matter, too weary
+to give an exhibition of horsemanship, so there was nothing to do but
+descend, walk up the compound, and tumble undignifiedly into the house,
+where the first thing I did was to register a vow that never again,
+except in a case of life and death, would I attempt to ride a Burmese pony.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2><span><span class="smcap">Chapter V.</span></span>&mdash;<span class="smaller">AN UP-COUNTRY STATION.</span>&mdash;</h2>
+
+<p class="center">"Far from the madding crowd's ignoble strife."&mdash;(Gray.)</p>
+
+<p class="center"><b>&mdash;&mdash;</b></p>
+
+<p>I daresay that Remyo is very like other small up-country stations in
+Burmah, but to me it appeared to be the very end of the earth, so
+different was it from all I had expected. It stands in a small valley,
+surrounded by low jungle-clad hills. The clearing is perhaps three miles
+long by one and-a-half wide, but there always appeared to be more jungle
+than clearing about the place, so quickly does the former spread.</p>
+
+<p>The Station is traversed crosswise by two rough tracks called by
+courtesy roads, and is surrounded by what is imposingly termed "The
+Circular Road." This road, but recently constructed, is six or seven
+miles long, and passes mostly outside the clearing, being consequently
+bordered in many places on both sides by thick jungle.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span></p><p>There is something infinitely pathetic to my mind about this poor new
+road, wandering aimlessly in the jungle, leading nowhere and used by no
+one. At regular distances there stand by the wayside tall posts bearing
+numbers. The lonely posts mark the situations of houses which it is
+hoped will, in the future, be built on the allotments which they
+represent. In theory, the circular road is lined with houses, for Remyo
+has a great future before it; but just at present, the future is
+travelling faster than the station, and consequently the poor road is
+allowed to run sadly into the jungle alone, its course known only to the
+dismal representatives of these future houses.</p>
+
+<p>The only finished building near which this road passes is the railway
+station, a neat wooden erection, possessing all the requirements of a
+small wayside station, and lacking only one essential feature&mdash;a
+railway, for the railway, like the great future of Remyo, is late in
+arriving, and so the road and the railway station are left sitting sadly
+expectant in the jungle,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span> waiting patiently for the arrival of that
+future which alone is needed to render them famous.</p>
+
+<p>In Remyo itself there is a fair sized native bazaar, consisting of rows
+of unpleasant looking mat huts, each raised a few feet from the ground,
+with sloping overhanging roofs, and open sides. The road through the
+bazaar is always very dusty, crowded with bullock carts, goats, and
+dogs, and usually alive with naked Burmese babies of every age and size.
+Not a pleasant resort on a hot day.</p>
+
+<p>Besides the bazaar, the station contains the Court House, the District
+Bungalow, and the Post Office; half-a-dozen European houses scattered up
+and down the clearing, and the club.</p>
+
+<p>To the Anglo-Indians the club seems as necessary to existence as the air
+they breathe. I verily believe that when the white man penetrates into
+the interior to found a colony, his first act is to clear a space and
+build a club house.</p>
+
+<p>The Club House at Remyo is a truly imposing looking edifice, perched
+high on<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span> the hill side, standing in a well kept compound, surrounded by
+its offices, bungalows, and stables. About the interior of the building
+I must confess ignorance, it being an unpardonable offence for any woman
+to cross the threshold. It may be that it is but a whited sepulchre, the
+exterior beautiful beyond description, the interior merely emptiness: I
+cannot tell.</p>
+
+<p>At the foot of the Club House stands a tiny, one-roomed, mat hut, the
+most unpretentious building I ever beheld, universally known by the
+imposing title of "The Ladies Club." Here two or more ladies of the
+station nightly assemble for an hour before dinner, to read the two
+months old magazines, to search vainly through the shelves of the
+"library" for a book they have not read more than three times, to
+discuss the iniquities of the native cook, and to pass votes of censure
+on the male sex for condemning them to such an insignificant building.</p>
+
+<p>It has always been a sore point with the ladies of Remyo that their Club
+House only contains one room. They argue that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span> if half the members wish
+to play whist, and the other half wished to talk, many inconveniences
+(to say the least) would arise. As there are but four lady members of
+the club, this argument does not appear to me to be convincing, but I do
+not pretend to understand the intricacies of club life.</p>
+
+<p>I have sometimes been tempted to believe that the ladies would really be
+happier without a club; possessing one, they feel strongly the necessity
+of using it, and though they would doubtless prefer sometimes to sit
+comfortably at home, every evening sees them sally forth determinedly to
+their tiny hut. There they sit night after night till nearly dark, and
+then, not daring to disturb the lordly occupants of the big house, to
+demand protection, they steal home nervously along the jungle bordered
+road, trembling at every sound, but all the time talking and laughing
+cheerfully, in order to convince everybody (themselves in particular)
+that they are not at all afraid of meeting a panther or tiger, in fact
+would rather prefer to do<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span> so than not. Truly the precious club is not
+an unmixed blessing!</p>
+
+<p>There are a few wooden houses in Remyo, but the majority are merely
+built of matting, with over-hanging roofs. They are often raised some
+twenty feet above the ground, and present the extraordinary appearance
+of having grown out of their clothes like school boys.</p>
+
+<p>The house in which my sister and her husband lived was a wooden erection
+of unpretentious appearance. I cannot say who was the architect, but a
+careful consideration of the construction of the house revealed to us
+much of his method.</p>
+
+<p>In the first place he was evidently an advocate of the benefits of fresh
+air and light. The house was all doors and windows, not one of them,
+apparently, intended to shut, and not satisfied with this, the builder
+had carefully left wide chinks in the walls, and two or three large
+holes in the roof. The front door opened directly into the drawing-room,
+the drawing-room into the dining room, the dining-room into the
+bedrooms, and the bedrooms<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span> on to the compound again. Thus we were
+enabled in all weathers to have a direct draught through the house, and
+as Remyo is a remarkably windy place, much of our time was occupied in
+preventing the furniture from being blown away. Whenever anything was
+missing we invariably found it in the back compound, whither it had been
+carried by the wind. Life in such an atmosphere was no doubt healthy,
+but a trifle wearing to the nerves.</p>
+
+<p>The compactness of the house was delightful. All the rooms led out of
+one another, and there were no inside doors, consequently one could
+easily carry on a conversation with those in other parts of the house
+without leaving one's chair or raising one's voice.</p>
+
+<p>The only occasion on which we found this arrangement of the rooms
+inconvenient was when we stained the dining room floor. The stain did
+not dry for three days, and during that time all communication between
+the drawing room and bedrooms was entirely cut off, for the only way
+from one to the other was through<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span> the dining room, and that was
+impossible, unless we wished our beautiful floor to be covered with
+permanent foot marks.</p>
+
+<p>Our architect was evidently a dweller in the plains, and the uses of a
+fireplace were unknown to him. In each of the small bedrooms he had
+built large open fireplaces, worthy of a baronial hall, while in neither
+of the sitting rooms was there the slightest vestige of a fireplace of
+any sort or kind whatever.</p>
+
+<p>This was a little inconvenient. Naturally an affectionate and gregarious
+family party, we did not like to spend our evenings, each sitting alone
+before our own palatial bedroom fireplace; being properly brought up,
+and proud of our drawing room, we preferred to occupy it, and often, as
+I sat shivering while the wind tore through the rooms, whistling and
+shrieking round the furniture, and the rain poured through the roof, I
+wondered what was supposed to be the use of a house at all; we should
+have done quite as well without one, except, of course, for the look of
+the thing.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span></p><p>Modern inventions such as bells appear unknown in Remyo. If you want
+anything you must shout for it until you get it.</p>
+
+<p>When calling on a neighbour you stand outside the front door, and shout
+for five minutes, if no one appears in that time, you assume they are
+not at home, put your cards on the doorstep or through a chink in the
+wall, and depart. It is a primitive arrangement, but still, not without
+advantages. If you don't wish to find people at home, you shout softly.</p>
+
+<p>We were superior to all our neighbours in the possession of a bell. We
+hung it up in the compound near the servants' "go downs," and passed the
+bell rope through various holes in the walls, etc., to the dining room.
+I don't know where the bell originally came from, but I think it must
+have come from a pagoda, for it was undoubtedly bewitched. It rang at
+all hours of the day and night without provocation. Once it pealed out
+suddenly at midnight and rang steadily for half-an-hour, when it as
+suddenly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span> stopped. This was probably caused by some birds swinging on
+the rope, but it was most uncanny.</p>
+
+<p>The servants used to answer the bell at first when it rang in the day
+time, until the joke palled on them, and they became suddenly deaf to
+its call. They never answered it at night: I fancy they thought when
+they heard it then, that the house was attacked by dacoits or tigers and
+we were ringing for help, and they deemed it more prudent to remain shut
+up in their "go downs." When we attempted to ring the bell with a
+purpose, it invariably stuck somewhere and would not sound. We never
+ceased to feel proud of the possession of our bell, but ceased at last
+to expect it to be of any practical use.</p>
+
+<p>When my sister first showed me over her house, my heart sank in spite of
+my ostensible admiration, for where was the kitchen? Did dwellers in
+Remyo eat no cooked food; must I be satisfied with rice and fruits?
+However, my doubts were soon set at rest when we visited the compound,
+for there stood a tiny tin shed,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span> inside which was a broad brick wall,
+with three holes for fires, and what looked like a dog kennel, but which
+I learned was the oven. A fire was lighted inside the oven, and when the
+walls were red hot the burning logs were pulled out, the bread placed
+in, and walled up.</p>
+
+<p>How anyone managed to cook anything successfully thus was a marvel to
+me. I had gone out to Remyo, fresh from a course of scientific cooking
+lectures, intending to rejoice the palates of the poor exiles with the
+dainty dishes I would cook for their edification. When I saw that
+kitchen, and when I learned that such a thing as a pair of scales did
+not exist in the station, all measuring being done by guess work, I gave
+up all hope of fulfilling my intention, and looked upon the native cook
+as the most talented gentleman of my acquaintance.</p>
+
+<p>The furniture in Remyo is of the "let-us-pack-up-quickly-and-remove"
+type. It is of the lightest and most unsubstantial kind, and has the air
+of having seen many sales and many owners.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span></p><p>The most prominent article in nearly every house is the deck chair,
+faithful and much travelled chair, which has accompanied its master over
+the sea from England, and wandered with him into many a dreary little
+out-of-the-way village, where perchance he sees for months no fellow
+white man, and where his chair and pipe alone receive his confidences,
+and solace his soul in the utter loneliness of the jungle. No wonder
+then that the deck chair wears an important air, and regards other
+pieces of furniture, which probably change owners every six months, with
+contemptuous scorn.</p>
+
+<p>The impossibility of having a settled home in Burmah is very pathetic.
+In Rangoon, the interior of the houses occasionally wear a settled and
+homelike appearance, but in the jungle, never. Everything is selected
+with a view to quick packing; pictures, ornaments, and useless
+decorations are reduced to a minimum, and only articles of furniture
+which are indispensable are seen. When one is liable to be moved
+elsewhere at four<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span> days' notice, there is no encouragement to take deep
+root, the frequent uprooting would be too painful.</p>
+
+<p>This spirit of constant change seems to enter into the blood of the
+Anglo-Indian, for the housewife is perpetually moving her furniture,
+"turning her rooms round" so to speak, and she never seems to keep
+anything in the same place for more than a week!</p>
+
+<p>After all, not Burmah, but England is looked upon as "Home." Even the
+man of twenty-five years service whose family, friends, and interests
+may be all centred in Burmah, who loves the life he leads there, and is
+proud of the position he holds, even he talks of what he will do when he
+"goes home," and in imagination crowns with a halo "this little precious
+stone set in the silver sea, this blessed plot, this earth, this realm,
+this England," which no amount of fog, cold, monotony, and dreary
+oblivion in his after life here, ever dispels. However happy and
+prosperous the Anglo-Indian may be in his exile, going to England, is
+"going home."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span></p><p>Our most unique piece of furniture was the piano.</p>
+
+<p>I do not remember who was the maker of this renowned instrument, but its
+delicate constitution was most unhappily disorganised by the climate.
+When first it came to us it was quite a nice piano, rather jingling, and
+not always in tune, but "fit to pass in a crowd with a shove." Alas! the
+Remyo climate was fatal; the degeneration commenced at once, and
+proceeded so rapidly, that in three months all was over.</p>
+
+<p>The first indication of trouble was a serious feud between several of
+the notes, which would persist in making use of one another's tones, and
+would not work in harmony. For example, when one struck C sharp, it
+promptly sang out high F's tone, and high F, being deprived of its
+lawful voice, was forced to adopt a sound like nothing we had ever heard
+before. Then E flat became officious and conceited, and persisted in
+sounding its shrill note through the whole of the piece in performance,
+while G on the contrary was sulky, and wouldn't sound at all.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span></p><p>Now all this was, of course, most disconcerting to other notes which
+had hitherto behaved in an exemplary manner. Some became flurried and
+nervous, and sang totally wrong tones, or sounded their own in such a
+doubtful, apologetic manner that it was of very little effect. Others
+grew annoyed, sided with various leaders in the quarrels, jangling
+together noisily, and persisting in sounding discords and interrupting
+each other. Others again were seized with a mischievous spirit; they
+mocked and mimicked their companions, and vied with one another in
+producing the most extraordinary and unpleasant noises.</p>
+
+<p>Chaos and anarchy reigned in the piano case, all laws of sound and
+harmony were o'erthrown, the bass clef could no longer be trusted to
+produce a low note, nor the treble a high one, and a chromatic scale
+produced such an extraordinary conglomeration of sounds, as would
+certainly have caused a German band to die of envy.</p>
+
+<p>This could not continue for ever, and at last came reaction. Whether
+caused by<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span> the quarterly visit of the Mandalay chaplain, or by the
+shocked and pained expression on the face of a musical friend who called
+one day when I was sounding (it could no longer be called playing) the
+piano, I know not, but certain it is, the piano was suddenly seized with
+remorse. Notes conquered their thieving propensities, differences were
+patched up, discord and jangling ceased, and the whole community, as a
+sign of real repentance, took upon itself the vow of silence.</p>
+
+<p>Not a sound could we extract from the once noisy keys, save occasionally
+a sad whisper from the treble, or a low murmur from the bass. After a
+time, even these ceased, and the once harmonious and soul-stirring tones
+of the piano, passed entirely into the Land of Silence.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2><span><span class="smcap">Chapter VI.</span></span>&mdash;<span class="smaller">THE EUROPEAN INHABITANTS.</span>&mdash;</h2>
+
+<div class="block"><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<div>"In spite of all temptations</div>
+<div>To belong to other nations</div>
+<div>He remains an Englishman"&mdash;</div>
+<div><span class="s12">&nbsp;</span>"H.M.S. Pinafore."</div>
+</div></div></div>
+
+<p class="center"><b>&mdash;&mdash;</b></p>
+
+<p>The European population of Remyo is small, consisting in fact of but
+four resident ladies, and some dozen resident males; but despite their
+limited number they form a very friendly and independent little
+community. Among them are to be found the usual types of Anglo Indian
+society, but they display characteristics not met with among the
+dwellers in larger stations.</p>
+
+<p>Remyo is so entirely cut off from civilisation, that the inhabitants
+must of necessity depend solely upon themselves for amusement, and as
+entertainments, at which one would invariably meet the same half-dozen
+guests are apt to become a trifle monotonous, the ladies, deprived of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span>
+this usual mode of killing time, are compelled to devote themselves to
+domestic pursuits rather more than is the custom of most Anglo Indians.</p>
+
+<p>The comparative coolness of the climate (Remyo being 3,500 feet above
+sea level) is conducive to such occupations, and whereas in Rangoon, or
+Mandalay, housekeeping duties are reduced to a minimum, in Remyo, the
+ladies, having nothing else to do, engage themselves thus with a zeal
+and energy worthy of a Dutch housewife.</p>
+
+<p>But, poor souls, they are terribly handicapped!</p>
+
+<p>In the first place, they are mostly unaccustomed to housekeeping
+themselves; secondly, the servants and household are quite unaccustomed
+to being "kept"; and thirdly, it is practically impossible for a
+mistress to do her own marketing unless she possess an unusual knowledge
+of the language.</p>
+
+<p>She may resolutely keep accounts, lock up stores, walk about all morning
+in an apron, with a large bunch of keys, and have long confidential
+conversations with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span> the cook; but in spite of all these possibilities
+she can only play at housekeeping; the Cook and Head Boy are the real
+managers of the establishment, and they regard the well meant efforts of
+their mistress with the kindly amusement one would extend to a child
+"keeping house." A Remyo lady's morning interview with her cook, usually
+a Madrassee, is an amusing interlude.</p>
+
+<p>Neither fish nor joints can be procured in the native bazaar, so the
+poor housekeeper is often at her wits' end to introduce variety into her
+evening menu.</p>
+
+<p>She begins cheerfully: "Well cook, what have we for dinner to-night?"</p>
+
+<p>Cook replies laconically, "Chicken."</p>
+
+<p>"Chicken," repeats the mistress doubtfully, "yes, perhaps that will do.
+Did you kill it yesterday?"</p>
+
+<p>"No! missis, not killed yet."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh cook!" in a tone of stern reproach, "missis told you always to kill
+it the day before, why have you not done so?"</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span></p><p>Cook shelters himself behind an unintelligible answer in a mixture of
+Hindustani and "Pigeon English," and after an unsuccessful attempt to
+understand him, his mistress is forced to pass from the subject, with a
+rebuke which he receives with a reproachful look. "Now," she continues,
+"what have you for soup?"</p>
+
+<p>"Chicken" is again the prompt reply.</p>
+
+<p>"Is there really nothing else?" demands the mistress uneasily.</p>
+
+<p>"No, there is nothing else."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," hopefully, "you must make a very nice little side dish (entr&eacute;e),
+what can we have?"</p>
+
+<p>"Nice bit of grilled chicken," suggests cook cheerfully.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh no cook," she cries in despair, "we can't have more chicken."</p>
+
+<p>"What would missis like then?"</p>
+
+<p>Missis has not the vaguest idea of any possible suggestion, so
+diffidently agrees that perhaps chicken will be nice. She asks about the
+savoury, but seeing the word "chicken" again hovering on cook's lips,
+decides to make the savoury herself, and turns to receive the daily
+accounts.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span></p><p>Then cook rattles off a long account of his expenditure, which his
+mistress duly enters in her book, fondly hoping that he isn't charging
+her more than double the cost of each article, but having no means of
+discovering the truth.</p>
+
+<p>Once or twice, on visits to the bazaar, we asked the price of various
+things, and triumphantly confronted the cook with the result of our
+researches, but he was never in the least disconcerted, and at once
+entered into a long, unintelligible, and quite irrefutable explanation
+as to why the article was cheaper on that particular day than on any
+other. It is quite impossible to upset the cheerful sang froid of a
+Madrassee.</p>
+
+<p>Native servants have the reputation of being most faithful to their
+master, and perhaps they deserve the character, for they allow no one
+else to cheat him (unless they get the lion's share of the spoil), but
+they consider it their special prerogative to cheat him themselves at
+every opportunity.</p>
+
+<p>A scolding from a mistress makes little<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span> impression on a Madrassee
+servant,&mdash;he receives it with an air of gentle reproach, while he most
+persistently denies the offence, whatever it may be, from a bad dinner,
+to a broken plate or an undelivered message. It is only the master, who,
+by a wealth of strong language, and judiciously directed remarks,
+concerning the origin, parents, and relations of the guilty one, can
+hope to make the slightest impression upon the impervious native mind.</p>
+
+<p>A further difficulty for the young and ardent housekeeper is the number
+of servants in her establishment. One man is engaged to sweep the floor,
+another to dust the furniture, one to fetch the water, a second to pour
+it into the bath, one to lay the knives and forks, and a companion to
+hand the plates, and so on through every department of the household
+work.</p>
+
+<p>This divided duty is exceedingly convenient to the servants, for if
+anything be wrong the fault can always be laid on the absent one, or a
+scolding delivered to one can be passed on almost unlimitedly until<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span>
+everyone has enjoyed an opportunity of relieving his feelings. But it is
+inconvenient for a mistress; such a delay is caused in carrying out an
+order. For example, if a jug of water be spilled, a first servant picks
+up the jug, a second dries the table cloth, a third dries the table, a
+fourth mops up the water from the floor, a fifth rearranges the
+furniture, a sixth carries out the empty jug, and a seventh fetches the
+water to refill it.</p>
+
+<p>All orders are delivered to the Head Boy, a most important and dignified
+personage, and he transmits them through the various ranks of his
+underlings until they reach the servant whose duty it is to carry them
+out. During the transmission through so many channels, of course the
+orders become hopelessly mixed.</p>
+
+<p>We had only fourteen servants, as our house was not large! A few of
+them, such as the cook, sais, and butler had definite duties, the
+remainder seemed to be chiefly engaged in getting in one another's way
+and quarrelling. But I suppose the work of the house could not have been
+carried<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span> on without them, though their number was distinctly
+inconvenient.</p>
+
+<p>In Rangoon, where servants abound, it would be easy to dismiss and
+engage a dozen a day, but not so in the remoter stations. The natives of
+India will not leave the plains unless a strong inducement be offered,
+and the Burmese much prefer not to work, if they can live without doing
+so. Burmans are usually excellent servants, but they are slow to learn
+to speak English, and the young housekeeper, who has probably been
+accustomed to English, or at least Hindustani-speaking servants in
+Rangoon, experiences great difficulty in making herself understood.</p>
+
+<p>All our servants, with the exception of the cook, were Burmese, and when
+my brother happened to be away, and the cook was not at hand to
+interpret, we felt particularly helpless. Messages brought at such a
+time had to go undelivered, and many a struggle have I had to understand
+Po Sin's wants, or to make him understand mine. Housekeeping under such
+disadvantages is not a happy undertaking.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span></p><p>Another way of passing time in which we indulged, was cooking. It was
+cooking under difficulties, for the most important part (the baking) had
+perforce to be entrusted to the tender mercies of the cook, no one else
+being capable of understanding his intricate oven. And the cook, jealous
+of our trespass on his prerogative, almost invariably served up our
+cakes in the guise, either of soft dough, or of black cinders.</p>
+
+<p>The chief objects of our cooking experiments were cakes and savouries.
+We neither of us knew very much about cooking, but we had cookery books,
+and did what we could, supplying the place of the innumerable
+ingredients we did not possess, with any we happened to have on hand.
+The result was usually distasteful.</p>
+
+<p>I made cakes with exceeding great vigour and confidence during almost
+the whole of my stay, but nobody ate them save myself from bravado, the
+dogs from greed, and unsuspecting strangers from innocence.</p>
+
+<p>Cake making was a fashionable subject<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span> of conversation at the ladies'
+"five o'clocks" in Remyo, and everyone gave everyone else recipes. I was
+astonished to hear my sister (whom I knew to be almost entirely ignorant
+upon such subjects) glibly confiding recipes for all sorts of things, on
+one of these occasions. I taxed her with the matter later, but she
+explained that it was the fashion to give recipes, and so long as she
+was careful to include an ingredient or two, impossible to obtain, she
+could safely trust that no one would find her out.</p>
+
+<p>There is one shop in Remyo in addition to the native Bazaar, and the
+ladies usually pay it a daily visit, in order, I suppose, to add realism
+to their pretence of housekeeping.</p>
+
+<p>The method adopted on these occasions is remarkable. No one expects to
+find anything she really wants in the shop, as it is kept by a native of
+India, but she begins hopefully asking for various articles, each demand
+being greeted by a shake of the head. She then asks the shopkeeper what
+he does happen to sell, at which he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span> appears doubtful, but suggests some
+useless thing such as antimacassars. The purchaser at length makes a
+tour of the shop, picks out the least useless article she can find, and
+bears it home in triumph.</p>
+
+<p>The unwise thing to do, is to order an article from Rangoon or Mandalay.
+One is indeed lucky if it arrives within twelve months after being
+ordered, and without an expenditure of all one's powers of sarcasm in
+letters of remonstrance, and a fortune in stamps.</p>
+
+<p>Firstly, there will be received about a dozen letters, with intervals of
+four days or so between each, demanding fresh descriptions and
+explanations of the desired article. Then, when more specific
+description is an impossibility, letters for money will arrive; a
+request for a rupee for carriage, another request for five annas for
+something else, for half a rupee that has been overlooked in the first
+account, and so on for four weeks more. Then the article is announced to
+be upon the way, but it does not arrive. More letters bring to light the
+fact that it is lost; has most<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span> mysteriously disappeared; cannot be
+traced anywhere.</p>
+
+<p>New people come upon the scene. Letters from carriers and agents arrive.
+Weeks elapse, still the article cannot be found. Another is in course of
+construction, when it is suddenly discovered that by some strange
+oversight the original was overlooked, never sent off at all, and is
+still reposing in the same tiresome shop. At length the once desired
+purchase arrives, but the purchaser has now long ceased to feel any
+interest in it whatever.</p>
+
+<p>The inhabitants of Remyo live together in apparent peace and
+friendliness, but there is between them one never ending source of
+rivalry, <i>i.e.</i> their gardens.</p>
+
+<p>Gardening is one of the most fashionable employments in Remyo. Everyone
+has a garden, though the uninitiated would probably not recognise the
+fact, and the amount of time, thought, and energy expended thereon is
+worthy of better results than those I beheld.</p>
+
+<p>For the "Remyoans" are ambitious folk, and are not content with the
+flowers, plants<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span> and natural products of the country. Their desire is to
+have a real English garden, and with this end in view, they sow
+innumerable seeds, set many bulbs, rake, dig and water (or superintend
+these operations) till life is a burden both to themselves and to their
+servants. Possibly, I did not remain long enough, but the results I saw
+were not satisfactory; it required a great stretch of imagination to
+mark any resemblance between a large bare compound covered with coarse
+jungle grass, dotted about with flat grey-soiled beds containing a few
+withered looking plants (half-a-dozen violets perhaps, and a haggard
+sunflower), and an English garden. Perhaps long absence from home had
+dulled their recollection of gardens in England.</p>
+
+<p>We were specially unlucky in our garden. Had we been content to confine
+our efforts to plants in pots and boxes (as did some of our wiser
+neighbours) we might have been fairly successful. But visions of rose
+gardens, artistically laid out beds, and mossy violet covered dells
+dazzled us, and our ambitions in this direction were boundless.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span></p><p>The coarse grass, the poor soil, and the persistent reappearances of
+unsightly jungle weeds in all sorts of unexpected places should have
+daunted us, but we had souls above such trifles. Directly we had formed
+our plans we set to work, scorning the advice of more experienced
+people, and disregarding all considerations of prepared beds, manure,
+and seasons. We marked out several intricately shaped beds, dug them up,
+lightly scattered some good soil over the top, and proceeded to sow our
+seed with hearty good will.</p>
+
+<p>The first difficulty we met with was with regard to arrangement. Each of
+us had a favourite plan, the abandonment of which no arguments on the
+part of the others could persuade. At length, after much useless
+discussion, we decided each to go our own way, sow our seed where we
+chose, and leave it to Nature to settle the difficulty. This was so far
+satisfactory, tho' we felt anxious when we found that nasturtiums had
+been sown on the top of daffodil bulbs, and one poor little bed of
+pansies had a border of sweet peas and sunflowers.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span></p><p>For some days after we had laid out the garden, my sister and I had a
+wearing time. The first thing in the early mornings we hurried out for
+an eager search after signs of life in our seeds. We divided the day
+into watches, that someone might always be at hand to defend the
+precious seed from the marauding crows and pigeons. The cool of the
+evening, usually given up to tennis and other amusements, was devoted
+wholly to the fatiguing task of watering.</p>
+
+<p>At last, sooner in fact than we really expected, we were rewarded by a
+few delicate green shoots, peering cautiously above the ground. How
+tenderly we cherished these first fruits of our toil; how carefully we
+shaded them from the sun, watered them, and protected them from the evil
+onslaught of the pigeons. How angry we were when we discovered they were
+weeds.</p>
+
+<p>However, we were rewarded at last by the unmistakable appearance of
+cultivated plants. Nearly every seed sent up its little green shoot, and
+for a few days we<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span> were most unpleasantly proud, and treated our friends
+with contemptuous pity, while we visited and measured the plants almost
+every half-hour, to see if they had grown in the interval. But our joy
+was short lived, for from some cause or another, either the strong sun,
+the lack of water, or the poor soil, all our plants withered before they
+put forth flowers.</p>
+
+<p>At first we refused to believe our ill fortune; we told one another that
+it was always thus at first with delicate plants, that they must have
+more water and less sun. We covered them over in the heat of the day
+with waste paper baskets, topees, and cunningly erected tents of straw,
+and we risked our lives a hundred times, by running out in the hot sun
+to replace these, when the wind blew them away. We talked bravely of
+being able soon to gather bunches of daffodils, and to send our
+neighbours baskets of sweet peas. But we each felt all the time in our
+heart of hearts, that our hopes were doomed to disappointment.</p>
+
+<p>At last we could keep up the delusion no<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span> longer, and owned the fact of
+our failure to one another; and being now sadder and wiser folk, threw
+away the withered plants, and made a new garden, following this time the
+advice of our neighbours.</p>
+
+<p>The only plants which did prosper in this first garden were the
+nasturtiums (I verily believe they will flourish anywhere) and for
+several hours a tiny bed round the foot of a tree at the bottom of the
+compound veritably blazed with the colour afforded by four flourishing
+nasturtiums; but while we were at the Club that evening, the crows
+pecked off all the petals of the flowers, and our only success was but a
+short lived one.</p>
+
+<p>The kitchen garden, which we consigned to the care of Po Sin, our head
+boy, was rather more successful, our radishes, and mustard and cress
+being the wonder of the country side.</p>
+
+<p>Then we had good hopes for the peas too; there was one row about ten
+inches high which looked really promising, and as we sat on the veranda
+in the evenings contemplating this cheerful sight, we talked<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span> longingly
+of the time when we should have a dish of our own peas for dinner.</p>
+
+<p>But alas for the vanity of human expectations. One morning, my sister
+had sallied forth to inspect the garden, when I was startled by the
+despairing cry of "Come, come at once, the peas are flowering;" and upon
+hurrying to the spot I found it too true; our precocious peas were
+already in flower, and nothing could be done to discourage them. After a
+few days the petals fell away, and miniature pea pods, containing
+microscopic peas appeared in their place. Our wishes were fulfilled; we
+had a dish, (a very small one) of our own peas for dinner, but alas it
+consisted of the produce of the entire row.</p>
+
+<p>Another source of much interest was our strawberry plant. I took 100
+strawberry runners out with me from England, but, unfortunately, only
+one survived, which put forth three new shoots, and appeared for a time
+quite healthy, but never bore fruit. Still, it may yet do so; and in the
+meantime it is much admired by all the inhabitants of Remyo.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span></p><p>Our second garden, happily, being prepared with more regard to the
+demands of the climate, was a success, and wiped out the stain of our
+first failure.</p>
+
+<p>It is well that the Remyo ladies can interest themselves in the manner I
+have indicated, for between breakfast and tea time the sun is so
+terribly hot, as to render out-door exercise quite impossible, and in
+the absence of many books time is sometimes difficult to kill.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies in England, with their hundred and one occupations, their
+amusements, household duties, and perhaps charities to attend to, can
+have but a very faint conception of how wearisomely long and lonely are
+some days, to their Anglo-Indian sisters. Their husbands away, or busy
+much of the day, deprived of their children's society, with few books,
+few amusements, and practically no duties, life is far from being an
+unqualified joy to these exiled women. Let the British matron who would
+accuse her Eastern sister of idleness, frivolity, and worse, consider
+these things, and forbear to judge.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span></p><p>The men, with their work and sport to engage their time, are less apt
+to find the days long; but even they at times feel the same strain.
+Indeed, I remember one day, when there was no work to be done, my
+brother and sister, (who had but lately left Rangoon with its constant
+whirl of gaiety) became so hopelessly and desperately bored, that we
+were reduced to revive our drooping spirits by making sugar toffee over
+the spirit kettle.</p>
+
+<p>Before breakfast and after tea are the opportunities for exercise and
+amusement, and the most is made of these cooler hours.</p>
+
+<p>Remyo boasts a gravel tennis court, and a nine-hole golf course, mostly
+bunkers. Two more tennis courts, and a cricket and polo ground are in
+course of construction, preparatory to the arrival of the Great Future
+to which I have referred. Each form of exercise enjoys about three days
+popularity at a time. At one time tennis will be the rage, and every one
+repairs to the Club court, tho' so short are the evenings before sunset,
+that it is impossible to play<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span> more than three sets an afternoon, so we
+are forced to be content with about three games each. Then the tennis
+rage dies away, and golf suddenly becomes the fashionable game.</p>
+
+<p>Like most occupations in Remyo, golf is golf under difficulties, though
+personally, whenever and wherever I play golf, I play under
+difficulties. The links are chiefly jungle, and a wood axe would
+probably be the most useful accessory to the enjoyment of the game. The
+holes are short, and a good player would probably drive on to the green
+every time, but at Remyo we were not good players. If by some lucky
+chance one drove perfectly straight, there was nothing worse to fear
+than a tree, or a deep nullah, filled with reeds and hoof marks, a
+nullah where might be spent a harassing quarter of an hour, slashing at
+a half hidden ball, which, in sheer desperation, one was at last
+compelled to pick out. But if the drive were not straight, then what
+endless and interesting possibilities or impossibilities were revealed.
+Heaps of stones, inpenetrable bushes, reeds,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span> rabbit-holes, and every
+form of acute misery which the golfer's soul can conceive.</p>
+
+<p>Yet the Links are very popular, and are the scene of many an exciting
+match, in spite of lost balls, broken clubs, and lost tempers. I have
+seen three clubs broken by one man in an afternoon's match, and he was
+neither a particularly bad player, nor especially violent.</p>
+
+<p>The Burman is not a success as a caddie. Our loogalays looked upon the
+game at first with indifference, then with dislike. I think they
+imagined that we purposely drove the ball into a hopeless tangle of
+grass and bushes in order to scold them when they could not find it.
+They could never be induced to make any distinction between the clubs,
+and looked hurt when we curtly refused to drive with our putters. Their
+notion of marking balls, too, is very primitive; Po Mya only found one
+during my stay, which it turned out was an old one lost some days
+before. In fine, they seemed to think it the greatest folly that we
+should tramp up and down, and in and out of nullahs, and lose our
+tempers<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span> so unnecessarily, because of a small white ball, when we had
+plenty more at home.</p>
+
+<p>On some afternoons everyone will repair to the new polo and cricket
+ground, and walk up and down the new laid turf, discussing solemnly the
+drainage, and general advantages and disadvantages of the position; or,
+feeling energetic, will practise cricket, and the knowing ones will give
+exhibitions of tricky polo strokes.</p>
+
+<p>The making of the polo ground was seriously delayed at first on account
+of the divergent opinions as to the best site, each declaring his
+selection to be the only one possible, and showering unlimited contempt
+upon all others. Every day we were dragged off to inspect a new spot,
+and all appeared to me so equally lacking in points of advantage, that I
+had no difficulty in impressing each new discoverer with my knowledge in
+such matters, by disparaging (in confidence) all other schemes than his.</p>
+
+<p>Finally, a site was chosen, and while the ground was in course of
+construction, those whose views had been disregarded, derived the
+satisfaction (always to be had in such<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span> cases) of discussing the
+insurmountable obstacles to the selected proposal.</p>
+
+<p>Some afternoons were devoted to rides. The jungle around Remyo is
+lovely, tho' not being there during the Rains, I did not see it to
+perfection. There are delightful rides in every direction, and exquisite
+views from the hills, whence can be seen for miles nothing but
+undulating waves of jungle, every colour from deepest reds and browns to
+the bright pink of the peach blossom, and the pale green of the feathery
+bamboos. It is a wonderful sight, this unbroken jungle, bordered in the
+far distance by the shadowy blue hills of the Shan States.</p>
+
+<p>Sometimes we visited quaint pagodas, with their neighbouring pretty,
+many-roofed kyaungs where the yellow robed hpoongyis, wander in
+meditation, or study 'neath the shade of the palm and banana groves. The
+pagodas are all very similar in shape, and near to each is a tazoung
+full of images of Gaudama, with ever the same calm peaceful smile,
+denoting a philosophy superior to the cares and artificialities of the
+world around.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span></p><p>Sometimes we rode along narrow jungle paths, bordered by a tangled mass
+of bright coloured bushes and undergrowth, or by the tall, waving,
+jungle grass, which is always whispering. These paths lead to tiny
+collections of bamboo huts, surrounded by high fences to keep out
+dacoits and other marauders, where the unambitious native leads a
+peaceful, contented life, under the shadow of the bamboos and peepul
+trees; an uneventful existence, enlivened, perhaps, occasionally by a
+Pw&eacute;, or visit to a pagoda feast at a neighbouring village.</p>
+
+<p>I enjoyed these expeditions, tho' they were ever fraught with danger to
+my limbs. Nothing would induce me again to mount a pony (I had had
+sufficient experience) so I accompanied the others on my bicycle.</p>
+
+<p>Of late years many wonderful bicycle riders have exhibited their tricks
+to the public, but I am certain none have performed such extraordinary
+feats as are called for by the state of the Burmese roads, most of them
+mere jungle tracks, ploughed in every direction into deep ruts by the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span>
+bullock carts. It was impossible to ride in the furrows, as they were
+not sufficiently wide to allow the pedals to work round, so I was
+obliged to perform a sort of plank riding trick along the top of the
+rut. Occasionally, my eminence would break off abruptly, and unless the
+bicycle succeeded in jumping the gap a fall was inevitable. Never had
+bicycle such severe usage, nor ever did such yeoman service as mine; but
+save an occasional twist of the handle bars, or a bent spoke, I never
+met with a serious accident, and I soon learned the art of "falling
+softly."</p>
+
+<p>My anxieties, too, were increased by the mistaken kindness of my
+companions, who would persist in riding beside me and conversing. One
+man in particular (I have forgiven him, for I know he meant it kindly)
+would never consent to leave me to ride alone. He would trot along on
+his pony, either just beside, or worse still just behind me, when I felt
+I might fall at any moment, and that he could not help riding over me.
+He would chatter away gaily, while I, with agonised expression,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span>
+struggled along, one eye on the road and one eye on the pony, scarce
+heeding his remarks, making the most hopelessly vague replies to his
+questions, and committing myself to I know not what opinions.</p>
+
+<p>One day we actually took a walk. We ladies grew weary of our customary
+amusements, and though we had none of us done much walking since we left
+England, we hailed the new idea with delight. The men refused to
+accompany us (the English civilian in the East seems to forget how to
+walk) so we went with only a servant or two to carry our cameras,
+refreshments, and other necessities.</p>
+
+<p>We walked about five miles thro' the jungle, to a little native village
+surrounded entirely by clumps of feathery bamboos, a most exquisite
+spot. We climbed a neighbouring hill where stood the inevitable pagoda
+and kyaung, and were rewarded by a perfect view.</p>
+
+<p>Our photographic intentions were unfulfilled, for as we were about to
+focus our cameras, a jungle fire was set alight below, and the smoke,
+drifting across the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span> valley towards us most effectually obscured our
+view. We were forced to be content with photographing one another, the
+most beautiful substitutes we could find.</p>
+
+<p>We examined the pagoda, peeped into the kyaung, and tried to induce the
+hpoongyi to come out and be photographed; but the pious man, evidently a
+hermit, shut himself promptly into the inner recesses of his dwelling,
+and continued to read in a loud voice until we had taken our departure.
+We thought him unnecessarily suspicious, and should have been hurt had
+we not felt it to be really rather a compliment to our charms.</p>
+
+<p>Our expedition was on the whole a success, but as we arrived home very
+hot and tired, having lost our way once or twice, we failed to convince
+the stay-at-homes that we had enjoyed ourselves without them.</p>
+
+<p>One morning early, my sister and I were startled by a succession of
+shots which rang out close to the house. My brother was away in the
+district, making an official tour among the villages under his charge,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span>
+so we were alone and unprotected. Hurrying to the window, what was our
+astonishment to see a band of Goorkhas, under command of one of the
+subalterns, of the detachment stationed at Remyo, defending our house
+against an unseen enemy who lurked in the neighbouring jungle, and kept
+up an incessant firing. My mind first flew to dacoits, then to French or
+Chinese (I knew there had been trouble on the border), then, on catching
+sight of one of the enemy, and recognising him also as a Goorkha, I knew
+mutiny must have broken out. Trouble of this kind always breaks out
+unexpectedly, I have heard.</p>
+
+<p>Soon however, we were forced to suppose that it must be a revolution,
+for leading the enemy on to attack was the second of the two subalterns
+of the detachment. It was difficult to believe that this usually shy and
+retiring young man could be the leader of a disloyal rising, but there
+he was, excitedly encouraging his followers to attack the house.</p>
+
+<p>We hastily prepared lint and bandages<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span> for the wounded, and watched with
+beating hearts the progress of the fight.</p>
+
+<p>Suddenly, both sides ceased firing, the leaders advanced towards one
+another, conversed amicably together, evidently settled their
+differences, summoned their troops, and marched them home to breakfast.
+It was a sham fight.</p>
+
+<p>This appears to be the favourite amusement of the officers who form the
+military element of Remyo society.</p>
+
+<p>I was continually finding myself in the midst of desperate encounters
+when taking my rides abroad. It was rather disconcerting at first, but I
+grew accustomed to it in time, as one grows accustomed to anything, and
+would ride along the line of fire, with a coolness and indifference
+worthy of one of the old seasoned campaigners.</p>
+
+<p>I suppose to those who live in a military district, sham fights are
+ordinary affairs, but I had never seen one before, and it struck me as
+very ludicrous to see these men, in most desperate earnestness,
+crouching in ambush, dodging behind<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span> trees, and crawling along under
+cover to escape the fire of their foes. The little Goorkhas become
+wildly excited, and it would not do to allow the two sides to come to
+close quarters, or the sham fight might develop into a real one.</p>
+
+<p>The other European male inhabitants of Remyo, are the inevitable Indian
+Civilian and "Bombay Burman," whom of course I should not presume to
+analyse; two railway men (who seem superfluous as there is as yet no
+railway), a P.W.D. (Public Works Department) man, whose work, it seems,
+is to make roads (from my point of view as a cyclist they don't do him
+credit), an Engineer, and the Policeman.</p>
+
+<p>This last was a mighty shikarri, who had hunted and shot every
+imaginable animal; who knew the habits and customs of all the beasts of
+the jungle, and after examining a "kill" would give a whole history of
+the fight between the tiger and its victim. He was a mighty talker too,
+and would converse for hours on any subject.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</a></span></p><p>What he could not accomplish was to speak for three minutes without
+giving way to exaggeration; nor could he give an unvarnished reply to a
+plain question, so that in Remyo "if you want to know the time <i>don't</i>
+ask a policeman" is the popular aphorism.</p>
+
+<p>The Engineer possessed the most striking characteristics amongst the men
+of the place. I have never met a man so full of information. He was one
+of those men who can give information on every conceivable subject, for
+if he knows nothing about it, he will invent a few facts on the spur of
+the moment, facts of which he is always justly proud.</p>
+
+<p>I never quite made up my mind whether his actions were the outcome of a
+passion for practical joking, or a desire to be of use, but I try to
+believe the latter. When I punctured my bicycle tyre he insisted upon
+helping me to mend it. His process occupied the whole of an afternoon,
+and the front veranda and drawing-room; beyond this, it was too
+intricate to describe, except to say that it required all the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</a></span> available
+tooth brushes in the house, three basins of water, and a rupee piece,
+and necessitated, apparently, the cutting of a large hole in the inner
+tube, with a patent tyre remover he had invented out of a broken
+teaspoon.</p>
+
+<p>On another occasion, he assured us he had a splendid plan for preventing
+our drawing room stove from smoking. We had been obliged to put a stove
+in the drawing room to make up for the absence of a fire place; it was a
+primitive affair, with a chimney that went through a hole in the wall,
+and it smoked "somethink hawful." Our friend tried his plan and a dozen
+others, each more wonderful and complicated than the last, and each
+necessitating fresh holes in the already perforated wall. Each plan too,
+resulted in increased volumes of smoke, and as the furniture and carpet
+were being rapidly ruined, and our whilom happy home was being broken
+up, we finally remedied the matter ourselves.</p>
+
+<p>But the matter wherein our Engineer excelled himself, was in the matter
+of rose trees.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span></p><p>Hearing us one day express a wish for a rose garden, he declared at
+once that nothing was easier. He was departing for Rangoon in two days,
+and he would there procure and send to us rose cuttings, which we must
+plant in carefully prepared boxes of soil, follow the instructions which
+he would give us concerning their welfare, and we should soon have
+flourishing rose trees. Our gratitude was unbounded, we listened and
+carefully noted his instructions, and after his departure eagerly
+awaited the fulfilment of his promise.</p>
+
+<p>In a few days a coolie delivered at our house, what I took at first to
+be twigs for fire wood, but on examining the letter accompanying them, I
+discovered they were the promised rose cuttings. I felt some doubts
+about them, but my sister had implicit faith in the Engineer (the stove
+incident came later), and would not listen to me.</p>
+
+<p>So we planted the rose cuttings, and for six whole weeks did we tend
+them. All the instructions we carried out to the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</a></span> letter, watering twice
+daily and sheltering them from the sun by day, and from the cold dews by
+night, but all to no avail. Dead sticks they were, and dead sticks they
+remained, till at last convinced of the hopelessness of attempting to
+restore life to the withered things, we tore them up in desperation and
+burnt them.</p>
+
+<p>My sister's faith in the Engineer, however, remained still unshaken, and
+she protested that the coolie must have lost the original bundle of rose
+cuttings, and substituted these twigs in their place. For my part I
+believe no such thing, and when I consider what passionate care and
+tenderness we lavished on those unresponsive pieces of wood, I do indeed
+feel disposed to "speak with many words."</p>
+
+<p>Varied though the characters and interests of the Remyo inhabitants may
+be, in one particular they all agree, i.e. in their dislike of the
+Casual Visitor.</p>
+
+<p>The casual visitor is supposed to ruin the servants, to monopolise the
+tennis courts, and golf links, to abuse the privileges of honorary
+membership of the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</a></span> club, to unjustly criticise the polo ground, and
+generally to destroy the peace and harmony of the station.</p>
+
+<p>For the men, the advent of a lady visitor means calls, dinner parties,
+and the necessity of wearing best clothes, which fills them with horror.
+For the ladies, it means the advent of one who will possess the latest
+fashions from Rangoon (possibly from England), who will throw into the
+shade their gala costumes of the fashion of two years ago, who will
+trespass upon their prerogatives, rival their powers at tennis and golf,
+and generally interfere with their peaceful and innocent pursuits.</p>
+
+<p>The arrival of visitors, therefore, is not welcomed as a rule, and
+though hospitably received and comfortably housed, they are not admitted
+into the inner life of the station until they have shown themselves
+quite innocent of the evil qualities which are imputed to them.</p>
+
+<p>This unexpected unfriendliness on the part of the Remyoans has been
+brought about by the acts of two people, who once visited this happy
+valley, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</a></span> departed again leaving deeply rooted indignation behind
+them. Of the first, a woman, it suffices to say that she amply justified
+the suspicions of the Remyo ladies. Her name is never mentioned by them
+without a significant look, and she is not a safe subject for
+discussion.</p>
+
+<p>The crime of the second sinner against Remyo hospitality (a man) was of
+a different nature, and it is perhaps difficult for the female mind to
+grasp the enormity of the offence.</p>
+
+<p>A large tiger had made its appearance in the neighbourhood, and a tiger
+shoot had been organised. All the arrangements were complete; the men
+were sure of success, and speculated which of their number would have
+the luck to kill. The evening before the shoot, a visitor on his way
+from a remote station, arrived in Remyo, and obtained permission to
+accompany the sportsmen. As he was reputed to be a very bad shot this
+was readily given, and there was allotted to him a position well out of
+the expected line of the beat. The tiger broke near the stranger's
+tree,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</a></span> and he killed it with his first shot, the promoters of the shoot
+never even getting a sight of the game.</p>
+
+<p>The criminal impertinence of a mere stranger daring to kill <i>their</i>
+tiger roused the deepest feelings of indignation among the Remyoans. The
+laws of hospitality are above all, so the perpetrator of the crime was
+allowed to escape with his life and the tiger skin, but since that day
+strangers have been looked upon as suspicious interlopers, and
+prospective tiger shoots are not discussed in presence of the Casual
+Visitor.</p>
+
+<p>I have given my impressions of the Remyo society candidly, perhaps a
+little too candidly; but lest any who read this book be disposed to hold
+the latter opinion, let me say one thing more.</p>
+
+<p>The first, the last, and the most indelible impression left on my mind
+by all the Anglo-Burmans whom I had the pleasure of meeting, was the
+impression of a kindness, friendliness, and hospitality passing belief.
+The Anglo-Burmans, while retaining the best qualities of the English<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span>
+nation, seem to lose entirely that cold and suspicious reserve towards
+strangers, of which we are often so justly accused. They appear to have
+adopted those Eastern laws of hospitality, which lay so great a stress
+on the duty of entertaining strangers, and they cannot do enough to
+welcome those fellow countrymen who visit the land of their exile.</p>
+
+<p>This characteristic kindness of the Anglo-Burmans is so universally
+acknowledged, that it is really superfluous to mention it, but as I
+spent six months among them, without encountering a single unkind look,
+word, or deed, I cannot let the opportunity pass without offering my
+tribute of gratitude to this most kind-hearted and generous people.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2><span><span class="smcap">Chapter VII.</span></span>&mdash;<span class="smaller">THE BURMESE.</span>&mdash;</h2>
+
+<div class="block"><p class="center">"We are merry folk who would make all merry as ourselves."&mdash;"Yeomen
+of the Guard."</p></div>
+
+<p class="center"><b>&mdash;&mdash;</b></p>
+
+<p>On my first evening in Remyo I was sitting in the drawing-room, waiting
+for the announcement of dinner, when suddenly, the curtain across the
+doorway was pulled aside, and a native peered into the room. His
+movements were rapid and stealthy, and betokened a desire for escape or
+concealment. On seeing me he slipped past the curtain into the room, and
+crouched down, as tho' endeavouring to hide himself from without. Then
+in the same bending attitude, he glided past the uncurtained window,
+across the room where I sat lost in astonishment, and on reaching my
+chair, sank on to his knees, placed his raised hands together in a
+supplicating manner, and exclaimed in a deferential and prayerful voice
+"Sarsiar."!</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span></p><p>For a moment I stared at him in wonder, unable to comprehend his
+attitude; and then in a flash I understood all.</p>
+
+<p>He was in terrible danger, someone was pursuing him; to escape he had
+slipped into the house, and was now imploring me to conceal or to defend
+him. I had no thought of hesitation, whatever might be his crime he must
+not be left to the rough justice of his pursuers, he must be protected
+until the matter could be properly inquired into.</p>
+
+<p>I sprang up and hurried to the window to reconnoitre; four natives stood
+in the road; no one else was in sight; perhaps the pursuers were already
+in the house.</p>
+
+<p>"Sarsiar, sarsiar, thekinma," he repeated, (or something that sounded
+like that).</p>
+
+<p>"All right, all right" I said soothingly: "don't be frightened, you're
+safe here," and so saying I quietly bolted the outer door, fastened the
+windows, and proceeded to put the room in a state of defence. My
+presence of mind evidently astonished him, he stared at me a moment and
+once more took up his cry of "Sarsiar, sarsiar".</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span></p><p>"It doesn't matter though a dozen Sarsiars are after you," I cried
+impatiently: "you are quite safe here; so tell me who is this "Sarsiar,"
+and what have you done to him?"</p>
+
+<p>But the wretched man only became still more excited, he crouched lower
+than ever, he waved his arms, and burst into a torrent of Burmese
+eloquence, in which again and again, occurred the name of his pursuer,
+of this much dreaded "Sarsiar."</p>
+
+<p>At last, being quite unable to either comprehend or calm him, I called
+aloud to my sister to come and reassure him in his own tongue. She came,
+exchanged a few hurried remarks with the fugitive, and then, to my utter
+astonishment and indignation, burst out laughing. I angrily demanded an
+explanation, and when she had recovered, she gave it.</p>
+
+<p>The native was no terrified victim, flying from a savage foe, but the
+head boy announcing that dinner was ready!</p>
+
+<p>The stealthy walk, the crouched air of concealment, the supplicating
+attitude, were merely expressions of respect, it<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span> being quite contrary
+to the Burman's idea of politeness to raise his head above that of his
+master.</p>
+
+<p>This excessive politeness on the part of the Burman is highly
+commendable, but apt to be inconvenient. It is embarrassing to be waited
+on by a man who persists in scuttling about with his body bent almost
+double, and who sinks on his knees on every available occasion; it gives
+him an air of instability. Some were so full of respect as to dismount
+from their ponies and walk past the "Thekins" when they met us in the
+road. It must delay business immensely, but no true Burman would allow
+himself to be influenced by such a minor consideration.</p>
+
+<p>The Burman is much given to contemplation. He is frequently seized with
+a fit of meditation in the midst of most important work, and will sit
+for hours, immovable, gazing steadily into vacancy, puffing at his huge
+cheroot, and thinking.</p>
+
+<p>So, history relates, did Socrates sit for three days and nights, but
+Socrates, poor man, had no cheroot to soothe him.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</a></span> The results of
+Socrates' meditation on that particular occasion are unknown; so too are
+the results of the rapt meditations of the Burman. Never by word or deed
+does he betray what thoughts occupy his mind on these ever recurring
+occasions, but someday, who knows? he may be moved to speak, and then
+where will be the wisdom of the East and of the West, when compared with
+the wisdom of this contemplative nation? Surely it will become small and
+of no account, and be no more thought on!</p>
+
+<p>For these fits of meditation are undoubtedly inspired! They may overtake
+him at any time, absorbingly, unexpectedly, in a manner highly
+inconvenient to all with whom he may come in contact.</p>
+
+<p>I say he is liable continually to such attacks, but certain
+surroundings, and circumstances seem more conducive than others to such
+contemplative meditation.</p>
+
+<p>For example, if despatched on an important message, such an attack
+almost invariably seizes him, and the messenger will remain for hours,
+seated by the road<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span> side lost in thought, while his impatient master
+sits raging and fuming at home, waiting in vain for an answer to his
+note. On such an occasion the Burman loses all sense of time, and his
+expression of naive astonishment, and patient martyr-like sufferance,
+when blamed for his delay, is utterly disarming.</p>
+
+<p>Again, the dusting of a room is most conducive to meditation. I have
+frequently seen a native stand for half an hour or more, immovable,
+duster in hand, gazing from the window, lost in abstraction. But this
+trait, I am told by English housewives, is not confined to Burmese
+servants alone. Dusting, I conclude, has a soothing effect on the
+nerves.</p>
+
+<p>When the Burman does work, he works with an energy and violence which is
+as astonishing as it is unnecessary. To see a loogalay in his energetic
+movements, dusting or tidying a room is a lesson to sluggards.</p>
+
+<p>He takes his stand in the centre of the room, and performs a series of
+wonderfully intricate and far reaching flag signals with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span> the duster.
+Then, after clearing away the broken china and other debris, he slowly
+makes a tour of the room, striking violently at each article of
+furniture once or twice with the corner of the afore-mentioned duster,
+and shaking the same menacingly in the face of every picture and
+ornament. Then he turns upside down the books and papers, carefully
+hides his mistress's work bag, and his master's favourite pipe,
+rearranges the furniture and the ornaments, which have come through
+scatheless, to suit his own taste, and the room is finished. In the
+matter of floor washing the Burman as a rule prefers to carry out the
+precepts stated in Mr. Chevallier's song: "What's the good of anything?
+Why nothing." To him it appears an act of supererogation to wash to-day
+the floor, which must certainly be dirtied again on the morrow.</p>
+
+<p>But if he be induced, by the stern commands of his mistress to undertake
+the task, then indeed is it a day of mourning and discomfort for the
+whole household. No spring cleaning carried on by the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span> most
+uncompromising and unsympathetic British matron, can approach the misery
+and upset caused by Burmese floor washing.</p>
+
+<p>Every male member of the establishment, from the coolie who is mending
+the compound path, to the head boy, is recruited to the work, and
+reinforcements of "brothers" from the village are called in to assist.
+Every piece of furniture in the place is turned upside down, and then
+large cans of water are upset "promiscuous like" here and there, until
+the whole house is deluged. This accomplished, the concourse of servants
+commences to paddle about the house, rescuing books and cushions from
+the ravages of the flood, and flapping at the water with cloth and
+brooms. No definite scheme is adopted, but the chief idea seems to be to
+wet as much of the floor, walls, and furniture as possible. After this
+amusement has been pursued for about three hours, the floods are swept
+away through the drawing-room and out at the front door, and the damp
+and exhausted servants, after proudly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span> announcing: "Floor much clean
+now, missis," retire triumphant, to rest their weary limbs for the
+remainder of the day. We did not often indulge our desire for
+cleanliness in this respect.</p>
+
+<p>The Burman is a great lover of ceremonies and processions. On certain
+festival days long picturesque pageants wind thro' the villages on their
+way to the pagodas; cart after cart drawn by gaily decorated bullocks
+and filled with brightly dressed occupants, many of whom wear fancy
+disguises, and dance and posture during the whole of the ride.</p>
+
+<p>It is a strange sight to see "grave and reverend seigneurs" from the
+village, arrayed in the most extraordinary costumes, reminding one of an
+English Guy Fawkes procession, standing at the front of a cart,
+posturing and pulling faces, in a manner that would be ludicrous, were
+it not so evidently full of meaning and solemnity. Imitation boats,
+dragons and beasts of all sorts take part in these processions, which
+for grotesqueness, brilliance of colour, and originality of arrangement
+are equalled<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span> only in a Drury Lane pantomime or the Lord Mayor's Show.
+But the soul of the Burman is not satisfied with his great half yearly
+festivals, nor even with the smaller festivities that take place at
+every birth, wedding, death, "ear-boring," or other ceremonious
+occasion. He seeks ever for other opportunities for procession and
+masquerade.</p>
+
+<p>Our Burmese servants found vent for their feelings in waiting at table.
+They performed their duties with as much stateliness and ceremony as
+time, and our impatient appetites would permit.</p>
+
+<p>No dish, plate, or spoon was brought without the co-operation of the
+three loogalays who were in attendance, and the lord chamberlain himself
+could not have conducted the course of the meal with more dignity than
+did our Burmese butler.</p>
+
+<p>But the greatest triumph was achieved at breakfast time when we partook
+of boiled eggs. The clink of the cups, followed by a hush of expectancy
+heralded what was coming. The purdah would be drawn aside by an unseen
+hand, and the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span> procession would march solemnly into the room, the three
+loogalays, one behind the other, bearing each in his hand a very large
+dinner plate, in the centre of which stood a small egg in its humble
+egg-cup.</p>
+
+<p>Into the room and round the table they would march, then dividing, each
+with a bow deposited his precious burden before the person for whom it
+was intended, after which the procession was again formed, and
+disappeared slowly behind the curtain: all this with an air of solemnity
+and display that would not have disgraced a royal levee. Why this
+ceremony was confined to eggs, why the porridge and bacon were not
+equally favoured I cannot tell, I merely state the facts as I observed
+them, leaving the explanation to others more discerning than I.</p>
+
+<p>The greatest treat our own loogalays ever enjoyed in this respect was
+brought about one day by a slight mistake I made in giving an order to
+Po-Sin, the head butler. My grasp of the language being but slight, my
+speech was often a trifle faulty, but I gave orders with a vigorous
+confidence, and aided by gesture and "pigeon English"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span> I imagined that I
+made myself tolerably comprehensible. On the occasion to which I refer,
+I had prepared my sentence elaborately, and summoning Po-Sin, I informed
+him that his master would be at home and would want tea at three
+o'clock. There must have been some mistake somewhere. Possibly, I
+confused the word meaning "office" with the Burmese for "three o'clock."
+But whatever be the explanation, about a quarter of an hour later,
+chancing to look out of the window, I beheld a procession winding its
+way along the road to the Court House, and bearing with it our afternoon
+tea equipage displayed to the highest advantage. At the head marched
+Po-Sin, proudly brandishing the teapot, then Po-Mya bearing the muffins,
+Po Thin with the tray and tea-cups, and behind, in regular order, the
+other numerous members of our establishment, each bearing some dish,
+jug, or spoon. They had gone too far to be overtaken, tho' they walked
+with becoming dignity, so with deep foreboding, I watched them disappear
+round the corner of the road leading to the Court House.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span></p><p>Presently I saw the disconcerted procession returning, headed this time
+by my infuriated brother-in-law, who had been interrupted in the midst
+of an important case, by the solemn entrance of the tea bearers. The
+servants looked depressed and disappointed. I think they had hoped the
+procession might be a weekly affair. Like "Brer Rabbit," I prudently lay
+low until my brother's wrath had exhausted itself.</p>
+
+<p>The Burman has the reputation of being a keen sportsman, and certainly,
+his excitement is intense on every sporting occasion, especially in
+games of strength and skill. But he does not excel in these. His
+intentions are doubtless good, but he lacks pluck and determination.</p>
+
+<p>This is especially evident when a loogalay fields for his master at
+cricket. He will watch the game with deepest interest, loudly applauding
+every hit, and when the ball speeds in his direction his excitement and
+pride are unbounded. He runs to meet it with outstretched arms, shouting
+wildly, then, as the ball nears him, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span> the audience hold their
+breath, expecting a wonderful catch or piece of fielding, he quietly
+steps aside, allows the ball to fly past him, and then trots gently
+after it, overtaking it some few yards over the boundary. His fellow
+natives view the performance with pride, and yell with admiration when
+he finally secures the ball and, carrying it within an easy throwing
+distance of the pitch, rolls it gently back to the bowler.</p>
+
+<p>The interest taken by the natives in football is overpowering, and a
+spectator has been known to stick a knife into the calf of one of the
+most active of the players on the opposing side, who happened to be
+standing near the "touch line." A new and unexpected source of danger in
+the football field.</p>
+
+<p>The two chief drawbacks to the Burman servant are, firstly, his intense
+self-satisfaction and conceit, and secondly, his intolerable
+superstition.</p>
+
+<p>It is impossible to find fault with a Burman. He receives all complaints
+with a look of such absolute astonishment and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span> reproach that the
+complainant is at once disarmed. In his own eyes the Burman can do no
+wrong, and if other folk do not entirely concur in this opinion, that is
+their misfortune and not his fault. He is always quite pleased with
+himself, and regards with a pitying contempt all who are not equally so.</p>
+
+<p>Overpowering superstition is a deeply rooted characteristic of the race,
+and I rather suspect, a very convenient one occasionally. The Burman
+will do nothing on an unlucky day or hour, and in awaiting the
+propitious moment, the duty is frequently left undone altogether. This
+is apt to be inconvenient to others, if the duty in question be the
+delivery of an important message, or the preparation of dinner. But I
+have sometimes wondered whether this particular superstition might not
+advantageously be introduced into England, where it would be so
+exceedingly useful to the school boy at the end of the holidays, and to
+many other folk besides.</p>
+
+<p>In private life the Burman carries his superstition to a ridiculous
+extent. No<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span> ceremony can take place, no festival be held, the building
+of a house cannot even be commenced until the wise man has declared the
+hour and place to be propitious.</p>
+
+<p>All sorts of magical contrivances to prevent the entrance of wicked
+"nats" and other evil spirits, are erected outside nearly every house
+and village, and charms and horoscopes are believed in absolutely by all
+save the best educated Burmans.</p>
+
+<p>They are a fickle people. Their lives being uneventful they love to vary
+them by constant small changes, and to enliven them by the excitement of
+gambling, which is the great vice of the country. We had a Burmese maid
+who displayed this love of change to a most astonishing degree. After
+being with us about two months she suddenly announced one morning that
+she had fever and must go and rest. Accordingly she disappeared for
+several days, and when we sent to enquire after her we learnt that she
+had recovered from her attack of fever, but was coming back to us no
+more, as she had got married. In about a fortnight she reappeared,
+saying calmly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span> that she was now tired of being married, and was quite
+ready to return to her work after her little change.</p>
+
+<p>Though he strongly objects to work himself the Burman likewise objects
+to see anyone else work. Whenever I endeavoured to clean my bicycle, our
+loogalays were terribly grieved. They sought me out in the quiet corner
+to which I had retired, and stood round me with the most shocked
+expressions, waving brooms and dusters, and beseeching me by all their
+most expressive gestures to leave the task to them. Sometimes they
+embarrassed me so much by all these attentions that I was obliged to
+consent, but always felt sorry afterwards; they are not satisfactory
+bicycle cleaners. The handle bars they polished again and again, but the
+rest of the machine struck them as uninteresting, and they left it
+severely alone.</p>
+
+<p>My experience of the Burman was not confined altogether to our own
+servants, there were many in the village with whom I had a bowing
+acquaintance, but owing to my ignorance of the language I could<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span> not
+hope to become intimate with them and their families.</p>
+
+<p>They appeared to take a great interest in us and our possessions. Two
+little Burmese ladies in particular, wives of the chief men of the
+village, paid us constant visits. They would bring us presents of
+flowers and vegetables, offer these, and then sit on the floor and stare
+resolutely at us for the space of half an hour, at the end of which time
+they would suddenly make a profound obeisance and depart.</p>
+
+<p>Conversation was impossible, as neither party knew the other's language,
+but we found this silent contemplation so embarrassing, that, after
+enduring it twice, we endeavoured on the third visit to entertain them
+by showing them pictures, trinkets, or anything we thought might amuse
+them. But with no great success; they admired the things and then
+immediately returned to their former occupation of staring, until at
+last I thought of the piano (which at that time was still in a healthy
+condition), opened it, and began to play. That interested them
+immensely, as they could<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span> not understand whence the sound came. They
+would stand happily for any length of time, gingerly striking a note,
+and listening to the tone with the greatest wonder and delight.</p>
+
+<p>But what pleased them more than anything was a china doll, belonging to
+my little niece, which shut and opened its eyes. Such a marvel had never
+been seen before, and the day after our visitors had discovered it, a
+large deputation from the village waited upon us, with a request to see
+the wonder. As from that time the doll frequently disappeared for a day
+or two, we rather suspected the ayah was turning an honest penny, by
+borrowing it to hire out for exhibition at various villages round,
+whither the rumour of its fame had already spread.</p>
+
+<p>Our visitors took the greatest interest in our garments, and when their
+first shyness had worn off, would subject our costumes to a minute
+examination that was a little trying.</p>
+
+<p>They always arrayed themselves in their<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</a></span> best garments when they came to
+see us, and very dainty they looked in their bright dresses of pink,
+green, or yellow silk, with flowers and ornaments in their black hair.
+The Burmese ladies are deservedly described as charming, and they
+understand the art of dress, and blending colours to perfection. They
+are reported to be very witty and amusing, as well as charming in
+appearance, and certainly when my brother happened to be at home on the
+occasion of their visits, they chattered to him very merrily, and seemed
+to thoroughly enjoy their talk with an Englishman.</p>
+
+<p>Another visitor of ours was the thugyi, (the head man of the village), a
+very fine looking old man with one of the handsomest heads I have ever
+seen. He was taller than the majority of Burmans, and in the flowing
+white garments which he always wore, presented a splendid picture which
+I longed to paint. His manners were stately and dignified, and he
+treated us with the most royal courtesy, as though<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span> he were an emperor
+at least.</p>
+
+<p>The chief hpoongyi (priest) of Remyo was a dear old man, with a
+beautifully tender expression. At his invitation we all went to visit
+him one day, and he showed us over the kyaung, with its numerous images,
+bell, and quaint pictures of saints and devils. He was an enthusiastic
+gardener and showed us proudly over his domain, giving us much advice on
+the management of plants, and offering to transplant anything we admired
+to our own garden. A hpoongyi's life must be very peaceful and happy,
+though perhaps a trifle dull. His chief occupation seems to be
+meditation, which to us western folk appears distinctly monotonous.</p>
+
+<p>Visits to the native bazaar afford endless amusement. Natives of all
+descriptions are gathered there, and the scene is most varied. The
+picturesque Burmans, giggling Chinese, chattering Madrassees, stately
+Parsees, solemn-faced Shans, and many other nationalities, swarm in the
+narrow streets and round the stalls of the bazaar. The stalls are large
+platforms raised about<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</a></span> three feet from the ground, with overhanging
+roofs. The seller sits in the middle of his stall with his wares spread
+round him, and keeps up a running flow of conversation the whole day
+long.</p>
+
+<p>There never appeared to be much to purchase in the Remyo bazaar except a
+few silks and the most unpalatable looking foods, but I delighted to go
+there in order to watch the people. "Bazaar day," to the Burman is one
+big joke, and he enjoys it thoroughly. The girls wear their most
+becoming costumes, and seated in the midst of their lovely silks, form a
+picture dainty enough to attract any man's attention. They are charming,
+and are quite aware of the fact.</p>
+
+<p>I ventured down once or twice to the bazaar with my camera, but they did
+not understand it, and regarded me with suspicion; indeed, the mother of
+one little Shan laddie, whose picture I wished to take, worked herself
+up into such a state of wrath and terror that I was obliged to desist. I
+fancy she thought I was bewitching the poor little fellow.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</a></span></p><p>My private opinion is, that in revenge for my attempt on her son, she
+must have induced one of their wise men to curse my k&ocirc;dak, for though I
+took photographs with great vigour and confidence during my travels, not
+a single one of them developed. It is a singularly distressing
+employment to sit long hours in a stuffy dark room, developing
+photographs which steadily refuse to develop. I have met with many sad
+experiences in my long and chequered career, but I think this was the
+most disappointing.</p>
+
+<p class="tbrk">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p>My one attempt at shopping by gesture in the bazaar was not an
+unqualified success. I selected an aged and kindly looking stall keeper,
+and proceeded to collect together in a heap the few small articles I
+desired to purchase. During this proceeding she watched my actions with
+astonishment and some suspicion, but the latter feeling was set at rest
+when I produced a rupee and offered it to her. She took it, and while
+she sought the change, I pocketed my purchases.</p>
+
+<div class="center"><img src="images/i178.jpg" alt="NATIVE BAZAAR AT REMYO" /></div>
+
+<p class="bold">NATIVE BAZAAR AT REMYO</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span></p><p>But when she returned, her face expressed the greatest consternation,
+and she burst into a torrent of Burmese. Quite at a loss to understand
+her, I hurriedly offered her more money, but she refused it with scorn,
+and continued her explanations and entreaties, in which the numerous
+spectators of the scene presently joined, laughing as though it were the
+greatest joke in the world.</p>
+
+<p>Presently the old lady picked up a bobbin of cotton, such as I had just
+bought, and waved it frantically in my face; I mechanically took it and
+pocketed it also. At this action on my part the spectators became still
+more hilarious, but the old lady looked annoyed, evidently considering
+the matter was getting beyond a joke.</p>
+
+<p>At last, in desperation, I pulled out all my purchases and flung them on
+the stall. To my astonishment this proved to be precisely what she
+desired; the good lady beamed with satisfaction, gathered them together
+with her own fair hands, and returned them, and my change, to me with
+many bows and smiles. I do not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</a></span> know to this day what was the reason of
+her excitement. Judging by the intense amusement it caused the
+spectators, I should say the story will serve as a popular after dinner
+anecdote for many generations of Burmans.</p>
+
+<p class="tbrk">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p>I do not think anyone but a Burman could find much amusement in their
+dearly beloved Pw&eacute;s. The dances, composed entirely of posturing and
+grouping, are most monotonous, and the music is distinctly an unpleasant
+noise from a European point of view. Yet these easily satisfied folk
+crowd to such entertainments (which occasionally last many days) and
+camp out round the temporary building in which they are performed. They
+seem to derive the greatest enjoyment from watching these interminable
+performances, following the inevitable dramatic "Prince and Princess"
+through their adventures, and chuckling over the vulgar jokes of the
+clown.</p>
+
+<p>The Burman loves to laugh. He is as equally amused at a fire or a
+drowning<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</a></span> fatality in real life, as when in the play the clown trips up
+a fellow actor.</p>
+
+<p>His proneness to laughter is annoying sometimes, especially if one
+misses a drive at golf, or falls down stairs (either of which
+misfortunes appear to him very droll) but on the whole his keen
+appreciation of "humour" helps him very comfortably through life.</p>
+
+<p>We modern Europeans may think we have a higher sense of humour than
+these simple folk; but who is to judge?</p>
+
+<p>The Burman is, perhaps, after all that truest philosopher who finds
+latent humour in all things, and makes the most of it&mdash;still, I pray
+that, for his sake, his keenness of appreciation may not become more
+highly developed, or some day he will meet a pun, and it will kill him.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2><span><span class="smcap">Chapter VIII.</span></span>&mdash;<span class="smaller">ENTERTAINING.</span>&mdash;</h2>
+
+<div class="block"><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<div>"Thou didst eat strange flesh</div>
+<div>Which some did die to look on."</div>
+</div></div></div>
+
+<p class="center"><b>&mdash;&mdash;</b></p>
+
+<p>Entertaining is nervous work, as all the world knows. The anxiety is
+considerably increased in a small country station like Remyo, because
+one cannot be sure that the rats will not devour the food beforehand, or
+that the cook will not take that opportunity of having "fever," a polite
+synonym for getting drunk, much in use among Burman servants.</p>
+
+<p>The dinner party is the most general form of entertainment in Remyo, but
+not of very frequent occurrence; the reasons being, the limited number
+of available guests and the restricted nature of the menu. No sane
+person would dream of inviting another sane person to dine upon nothing
+but Burmese chicken, even displayed in various disguises from soup to
+savoury.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</a></span></p><p>Once a week beef can be obtained, so dinner parties are usually given
+on "beef days." Should an invitation arrive for another date, great
+excitement prevails as to what special delicacy has been procured.</p>
+
+<p>Once we were presented with a peacock, and gave a dinner party to
+celebrate the event, the peacock itself being the chief item of the
+celebration. Our guests arrived full of anticipation of some unknown
+treat; we received them "big with pride."</p>
+
+<p>But alas! the vanity of human hopes. During the early part of the
+dinner, over the chicken entr&eacute;es, the conversation turned upon the
+relative merits as food of various kinds of fowl. One of our guests, a
+man full of information on every subject, interesting and otherwise,
+suddenly announced cheerfully:</p>
+
+<p>"One bird I may tell you is not fit for human food, and that bird is a
+peacock."</p>
+
+<p>Thereupon ensued an awful pause, in the midst of which the servants
+entered, carrying the peacock in all its glory.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</a></span></p><p>Nothing could be done. The bird was shorn of its tail, so to relieve
+our guest's mind we alluded to it as "goose," but no one could have been
+for an instant deceived. And the worst of it was, our guest was quite
+right, it was not fit for human food.</p>
+
+<p>Another source of anxiety on giving a dinner party in Remyo is the
+decoration of the table. A Burmese loogalay has his own ideas about
+table decorations, and these ideas he will carry out, even if to do so
+obliges him to leave all his other work undone. In vain we may try to
+explain that we prefer to arrange the flowers ourselves, he looks
+pained, waits till we have completed our arrangements and have retired
+to dress, and then pounces upon the table and places his own elaborate
+decorations on the top of what we fondly imagined a triumph of artistic
+arrangement.</p>
+
+<p>And his decorations are indeed elaborate; round every piece of glass,
+china, or cutlery he weaves a marvellous pattern, sometimes in bits of
+bracken, sometimes in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</a></span> coloured beads or rice, and occasionally in rose
+petals. When all is finished, the table looks like a kaleidoscope, and
+one is afraid to move a spoon or glass lest the design be destroyed.</p>
+
+<p>On Christmas eve a large and important dinner party was given by some
+old inhabitants of the station. All the Europeans were invited, and it
+was intended that the evening should be spent in jovial and merry games
+like a typical Christmas eve at home. But alas! never was an
+entertainment beset with greater difficulties.</p>
+
+<p>In the first place, nearly all the guests upon whom we most depended for
+amusement sent word that they had fever. We suspected that fever at the
+time, and suspected it still more next day, when we heard of a jovial
+bachelor gathering that same evening in the house of one of the stricken
+ones.</p>
+
+<p>Then the weather was not cheering. It was a terribly cold night, and the
+houses in Remyo, being mostly of Government design, consequently the
+same for both hills and plains, are not calculated to keep<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</a></span> out the
+cold; there are large chinks in the unpapered walls, and few of the
+doors and windows will shut. In this particular house there was no fire
+place, only a small stove which gave out about as much warmth as a
+spirit kettle. We all felt grateful to our host and hostess for their
+hospitality, and did our best to be entertained and entertaining in our
+turn, but it is hard to keep up a cheerful appearance and jovial
+spirits, in evening dress, in a mat house, with no fire and the
+temperature almost down to freezing point.</p>
+
+<p>We played games such as "Kitchen Furniture" and "Family Post" which
+necessitated plenty of movement, and gave every one in turn an
+opportunity of occupying the chair by the stove.</p>
+
+<p>That part of the evening which I enjoyed most was when I made the mulled
+claret. I had no idea how to make it, but I should obtain uninterrupted
+possession of the stove during the operation, so I volunteered for the
+task. I put the claret, and anything suitable and "Christmassy," I could
+think of, into<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</a></span> a saucepan, and stirred it over the stove until the
+other guests became suspicious, and I was forced to abandon my warm
+post.</p>
+
+<p>I did not like the result at all, and I noticed the other guests lost
+interest in it as a drink after the first sip, though they clung to
+their glasses, using them as impromptu hand warming pans.</p>
+
+<p>But what proved the greatest check upon the enjoyment of the evening was
+the great anxiety of the guests for the welfare of the furniture.</p>
+
+<p>Our host and hostess were on the point of leaving the station, and as is
+the custom, had sold their furniture to the other residents, though they
+retained it in their house until departure. Now when one has just
+bought, and paid for, say, a set of drawing room chairs, or china
+ornaments, one does not enjoy seeing the former subjected to the rough
+usage of a game of "Bumps" nor the latter endangered by a game of Ball.
+Consequently, each and all were busily engaged during the evening in
+protecting their prospective possessions, and had little<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</a></span> opportunity of
+abandoning themselves to enjoyment.</p>
+
+<p>One very amusing instance of this was the behaviour of the new owners of
+the carpet. It was a poor carpet, old, faded, and thread-bare, but it
+was the only carpet in the station and the recent purchasers regarded it
+with pride. They looked anxious all the evening, when chairs were
+dragged about over weak spots, and peg glasses were placed in dangerous
+proximity to restless feet.</p>
+
+<p>But the climax of their concern was reached when "Snap dragon" was
+proposed. The game was hailed with delight by every one (there really is
+a little imaginary warmth in the flame), but the contempt of the
+carpet-owners was unbounded. They said nothing, but looked volumes; they
+did not join in the game, but crawled about the ground round the
+revellers, busily engaged in picking up the numerous raisins scattered
+on the floor, forcibly holding back feet which threatened to crush the
+greasy fruit, and showing by all means in their<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</a></span> power that they
+considered "Snap dragon" a most foolish amusement.</p>
+
+<p>Small wonder, considering all these disadvantageous circumstances, that
+the Christmas party was not an unqualified success, and that the cold
+and weary guests, plodding home in the early hours of Christmas morning,
+mentally vowed that such wild dissipation was not good for them and
+should never again be repeated.</p>
+
+<p>Dances are necessarily unknown in such a small station as Remyo. An
+energetic bachelor did once make an effort to give one, but as the only
+available room was the ticket office at the railway station, the only
+available music the bagpipes of the Goorkhas, and the only available
+ladies five in number, he was reluctantly obliged to abandon the
+project.</p>
+
+<p>A much enduring form of entertainment in Remyo is the musical afternoon,
+or evening party. The inhabitants assemble in turns at one of the three
+houses which boast a piano; but the repertoire of the combined station
+is limited, and as every one expects to sing on these occasions
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</a></span>(ignorance of time and tune being considered no drawback), and further,
+intends to sing one or other of the few songs most popular in the
+station, things are not in any sense as harmonious as they should be.</p>
+
+<p>This great eagerness to perform entailed much man&oelig;uvring to obtain
+first possession of the piano, and it was amusing to watch the
+expressions of mingled indignation and scorn on the faces of others less
+fortunate, when they recognised the prelude to what they each claimed as
+their own particular song.</p>
+
+<p>The singer's triumph, however, was not without compensating
+disadvantages, his efforts being assisted by a distinctly audible chorus
+in undertone which would cling to him throughout the song in spite of
+his endeavours to throw off the encumbrance by means of abrupt changes
+of tempo, and variations in the air; and this professed appreciation of
+the performance evoked from the singer such gratitude as one would
+expect under the circumstances.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</a></span></p><p>No! On the whole we did not "entertain" much in Remyo; we contented
+ourselves with quiet, domestic lives, enlivened but occasionally by such
+outbursts of wild revelry as I have described.</p>
+
+<p class="tbrk">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class="center"><img src="images/i192.jpg" alt="Decoration" /></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2><span><span class="smcap">Chapter IX.</span></span>&mdash;<span class="smaller">ADVENTURES.</span>&mdash;</h2>
+
+<div class="block"><p class="center">"Things are seldom what they seem"&mdash;"H.M.S. Pinafore."</p>
+
+<p class="center">"I haven't braved any dangers, but I feel as if I knew all about
+it"&mdash;(Rudyard Kipling.)</p></div>
+
+<p class="center"><b>&mdash;&mdash;</b></p>
+
+<p>But all this time I am wandering from the real subject of this book,
+<i>i.e.</i>, myself and my adventures, and as wandering from the straight
+path is an unpardonable error, it behoves me to return speedily to my
+subject, and recount a few of the soul-stirring incidents which befell
+me during some of my many bicycling expeditions alone into the depths of
+the jungle.</p>
+
+<p>This bicycling out of sight of human habitation, into the depths of the
+jungle, sounds rather a brave and fearless proceeding, so I will not
+correct the statement, but in parenthesis, as it were, I will remark
+that once only did I venture more than half a mile from Remyo, and that
+whenever I had turned the corner of the circular road, which shut out
+the last view of my brother's house, my heart sank, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</a></span> I became a prey
+to the most agonising fears. Every instant I expected a tiger to bound
+upon me from the jungle at the side of the road, a cobra to dart out its
+ugly head from the overhanging branch of a tree, or a body of dacoits to
+pounce down upon me and carry me off to their lair in triumph. My mind
+was filled with useless speculation as to whether I and my bicycle would
+be swifter than a panther, and with what "honeyed words of wisdom" I
+should best allay the wrath of the "Burman run amuck," should fate throw
+one of these in my way.</p>
+
+<p>I derived no pleasure from that lonely mile and a half of the circular
+road, which must be traversed before again arriving at the haunts of
+civilisation; I never entered upon it without a shiver of nervous
+expectation, or left it behind without a sigh of relief, and yet I was
+forced by my overweening craving for adventure, to ride out at every
+opportunity to explore this dreary waste of jungle! Like the great
+"Tartarin" of "Tarasconnasian" memory, my "Don Quixote" spirit drove<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</a></span> me
+to seek adventures, however gruesome, while my "Sancho Panza" mind ever
+timidly pined for home and safety.</p>
+
+<p class="tbrk">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p>The first time my Quixotic expectations were fulfilled, was one evening
+when I was riding later than usual. The sun had set, and the short
+eastern twilight was rapidly darkening into night. I was cycling along
+quickly, eager to reach home before being overtaken by the gathering
+darkness, when suddenly, on turning a corner of the road, I saw, about a
+hundred yards in front of me, a long black thing, presumably a python,
+stretching half across the road, and curving up its huge head, as though
+ready to attack.</p>
+
+<p>I do not suppose any bicycle ever stopped so abruptly as mine did at
+that moment, and I must confess that my descent from the machine was
+rapid rather than graceful.</p>
+
+<p>After I had sorted myself and the bicycle, I stood up, my senses
+somewhat steadied by the sudden contact with mother earth, and
+considered the situation. The python did not appear to have moved<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</a></span> much,
+and had, apparently, as yet taken no notice of my appearance; could it
+be asleep? I suppose pythons do sleep sometimes?</p>
+
+<p>If I turned back, behind me lay three miles and more of jungle bordered
+road, full of endless possible dangers, which must be traversed before
+reaching safety, and it was growing so dark. In front, if I could but
+pass the python, I had but a quarter of a mile to ride and I should be
+in Remyo. I felt that I positively dared not face that long, dark, ride
+back; but dare I face the python? It still made no sign of movement; but
+possibly it was shamming sleep.</p>
+
+<p>Then suddenly there came to me in my need, not a mysterious voice, but a
+timely recollection. It was a recollection of one of the stories told me
+by the versatile policeman; a story of how he had behaved successfully
+under similar circumstances, except that in his case the obstacle was a
+leopard. I determined to follow his example.</p>
+
+<p>Summoning all my courage to assist me<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</a></span> in performing this fearsome deed,
+I mounted my bicycle, and with beating heart and trembling limbs, I rode
+straight towards the reptile, ringing my bell, shouting, and making as
+much noise and commotion as possible. Straight on I rode, almost
+desperate with fear,&mdash;&mdash;and then suddenly I ceased to shout, I stayed my
+reckless pace, and finished my ride in gloomy silence, for on nearer
+inspection the mighty python, the object of all my terror, turned out to
+be nothing more alarming than the fallen branch of a tree.</p>
+
+<p>Another adventure (which but for my habitual prudence might have ended
+more seriously) befell me at almost exactly the same spot, but in the
+day time. I was riding along cheerfully, feeling particularly brave,
+when suddenly I beheld about a quarter of a mile in front of me three
+strange beasts.</p>
+
+<p>They rather resembled to my mind rhinoceri, but each had two horns. I
+had never seen them before (I have no particular desire ever to see them
+again) and I had not the least notion what they might<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</a></span> be; whether wild
+beasts of the jungle or tame household pets, but their personal
+appearance rather suggested the former. I dismounted hastily, and
+considered the matter. I did not wish to appear cowardly, even to my
+bicycle; on the other hand, being of a peaceful nature, I had no desire
+to enter into a hand-to-hoof struggle with three utterly unknown
+quantities.</p>
+
+<p>On they came, usurping the whole of the road, with a sort of
+"push-me-aside-if-you-dare" look about them, which I found particularly
+unpleasant. Their gait was rolling and pompous, but they occasionally
+relieved the monotony of their progress by prodding one another
+playfully with their horns. This engaging playfulness of disposition did
+not appeal to me.</p>
+
+<p>But I remembered the python incident, and scorned my fears, I would go
+on and face the beasts. I remounted, looked again at the horns of the
+advancing animals, thought of my family and friends, and then, somehow,
+my bicycle seemed to turn round by itself, and I found myself speeding
+as quickly in the opposite direction as any record breaker who ever
+rode.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</a></span></p><p>On arriving home, I casually mentioned what I had encountered, and
+learned that my friends were "water buffalos," animals of the mildest
+disposition unless roused, but when roused, most unpleasant to
+encounter. They have frequently been known to pick up a dog with their
+horns, and break its bones over their backs. They can pick a mosquito
+off their backs with the tip of their horns, in fact they are quite
+skilled in the use of the latter, and had I not luckily decided to ride
+in the opposite direction when I encountered these enterprising beasts,
+they would, doubtless, have experienced no difficulty whatever in
+puncturing my tyre!</p>
+
+<p>Ostensibly, their duty in this life is to draw the plough, but in
+reality they fulfil a far higher mission. To them, and to them only, it
+is given to draw contempt upon the superiority of the Anglo Indian: to
+compass the fall of the mighty.</p>
+
+<p>For no sooner does a European appear riding in his pride by the river
+bed, where the water buffalo lies wallowing in the mud, than all the
+worst passions awake in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</a></span> the breast of the afore mentioned water
+buffalo, and he is instantly aroused to anger. He leaves the delights of
+the mud bath, and starts in pursuit of the white face, no matter who he
+may be. "Tell it not in Gath" but the water buffalo, being no respector
+of persons, has even been known to put to ignominious flight the "Indian
+Civilian" and the "Bombay Burman." The pursuit is long and determined,
+the attack almost inevitable, unless the pursued be rescued by the
+opportune advent of a native, for to the water buffalo the word of the
+Burman is law, while the word of the Anglo Indian is a mere nothing.</p>
+
+<p>This then, "the scorning of the great ones," would seem to be the
+purpose of the water buffalos upon this earth. "How are the mighty
+fallen"! when the highest among the ruling race must trust for rescue to
+the interference of a five year old Burman.</p>
+
+<p class="tbrk">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p>One day, late in the afternoon, I sallied forth on my bicycle to a spot
+half a mile down the Mandalay road, where I had noticed a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</a></span> specially
+beautifully blossomed wild cherry tree. My intention was to rob the tree
+of its treasure, and bear the blossom home in triumph to decorate our
+drawing room for a dinner party that evening.</p>
+
+<p>The place was quite deserted, so finding I could not reach the blossoms
+from the ground, I leant my bicycle against the tree trunk, and after
+much scrambling, and one or two falls, I succeeded in climbing the tree,
+and began to gather the flowers.</p>
+
+<p>So absorbed was I in my two-fold task of holding on to my precarious
+perch, and breaking the branches of blossom, that I did not notice what
+was going on below. Imagine then my horror and astonishment, on looking
+down, to find my tree surrounded by about a dozen of the most
+extraordinary looking natives I had ever beheld. Their clothing was most
+scanty and they were covered from head to foot with elaborate "tattoo."
+They wore tremendously large Shan hats, their hair was long and matted,
+their teeth were red with betel juice, and most of them were armed with
+long Burmese "dahs" (knives). They had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</a></span> come silently along the road out
+of the jungle, and now stood in a circle round my tree, pointing,
+staring, and chattering vigorously in an unknown tongue.</p>
+
+<p>Evidently I had fallen into the hands of a band of dacoits, and to judge
+by their appearance, they were gloating over their capture.</p>
+
+<p>It was no dream this time&mdash;I assured myself of that by a series of
+violent and judicious pinches; no! it was grim, very grim, earnest.
+Escape appeared impossible. I told them in as much strong English as I
+could remember, to go away, but they neither understood nor heeded. I
+tried to recollect my Burmese, but could only remember words referring
+to food, and thought it better not to put that idea into their heads;
+they might be cannibals. I tried one or two shouts, but that made no
+impression on them. There seemed no hope; they still stood there,
+pointing and grinning savagely; they had evidently no intention of
+relinquishing their prey.</p>
+
+<p>Then, trying to smile in a nervous and conciliatory manner, I slowly
+descended<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</a></span> the tree. How I longed for false teeth, a glass eye, a wooden
+leg, or some other modern invention, with which people in books of
+adventure are wont to overawe the natives who thirst for their blood.
+Alas! I had nothing of the sort.</p>
+
+<p>I could not, obviously, sit in the tree all night, so sadly and
+doubtfully I descended to throw myself on their mercy.</p>
+
+<p>I reached the ground, and stood with my eyes shut waiting the end.</p>
+
+<p>The end showed no intention of coming, so I opened my eyes, and
+discovered to my astonishment that not I but my bicycle was the object
+of all this attention. I was to them a matter of no interest whatever,
+but the cycle they could not understand.</p>
+
+<p>Joyous with relief I hurriedly demonstrated the workings of my bicycle
+to this party of, not dacoits, but most harmless wood cutters, and then
+mounting rode away, followed for some distance by an awe-struck and
+admiring crowd. My fears as usual were unfounded, but the drawing room
+was not decorated with cherry blossom that or any other evening.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</a></span></p><p>It is difficult, for those to whom the bicycle is now as common as
+blackberries, to imagine the astonishment with which the natives view
+the machine for the first time. In Remyo itself bicycles were well
+known, but frequently on the roads I met strangers from neighbouring
+villages, and the astonishment and terror depicted on their faces when
+they beheld me riding on this unknown thing was almost laughable. They
+would fall back into the ditch with their mouths open, and remain
+staring after me as long as I was in sight.</p>
+
+<p>Once, I remember, I and another lady rode out to a little village in the
+jungle about three miles from Remyo. The road, a mere jungle track, was
+awful, but we succeeded at last in arriving at our destination. We left
+our cycles in the compound of the "hpoongyi kyaung," and climbed a
+neighbouring hill to see a quaint pagoda, which crowned its top. After
+thoroughly examining the pagoda, and the numerous images which surround
+it, we returned to our cycles.</p>
+
+<p>What was our astonishment to find the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</a></span> entire population of the village
+assembled in the compound, all having apparently taken up their
+positions there, preparatory to seeing some entertainment. The Head of
+the village approached us humbly, and in a long speech explained that
+though he (evidently a travelled gentleman) had told his subordinates
+all about the wonderful machines we rode, yet they would not believe
+him. Would we, as a great condescension, mount and ride round the
+compound, that all might see that his words were true.</p>
+
+<p>Willing to oblige him, I consented at once, mounted, and did a little
+"gymkhana business," rather cleverly, I thought, considering the rough
+ground. Imagine my astonishment and indignation, when the whole audience
+became convulsed with merriment, hearty, overwhelming merriment, rolling
+on the ground, and shrieking with laughter. I cannot explain the reason
+of it; I suppose they looked upon me as a sort of travelling acrobat,
+and their laughter was a sign of approbation of my tricks. But I was
+very angry. I had not gone out to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</a></span> Burmah to become the laughing stock
+of ignorant natives, so I said a hasty farewell to the "Thugyi," who
+seemed quite pleased with the reception his companions gave me, and rode
+out of the compound and away, followed by the amused shrieks of my
+audience. I would have shaken the dust of that village from my feet, but
+that is a difficult thing to achieve successfully on a bicycle.</p>
+
+<p>The Burmans are a merry folk, but methinks at times their humour carries
+them too far.</p>
+
+<p class="tbrk">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class="center"><img src="images/i206.jpg" alt="Decoration" /></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2><span><span class="smcap">Chapter X.</span></span>&mdash;<span class="smaller">BEASTS AND REPTILES.</span>&mdash;</h2>
+
+<div class="block"><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<div>The animals came in one by one</div>
+<div>Till Noah, he thought they would never have done.</div>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<div>And they all came into the Ark.</div>
+<div>For to get out of the rain.</div>
+</div></div></div>
+
+<p class="center"><b>&mdash;&mdash;</b></p>
+
+<p>Rats! Hamlin Town (with Bishop Hatto thrown in) cannot offer a
+comparison with our sufferings from these pestilent vermin.</p>
+
+<p>During the day time they contented themselves with playing in twos and
+threes about the house, getting in the way of our feet, and generally
+making themselves a nuisance. But at night when we had retired to rest,
+they came in their hundreds, from their homes beneath the house, and to
+use an expressive Americanism "simply bought the place."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[Pg 193]</a></span></p><p>I am not naturally a "Mrs. Gummidge," but in this instance I am certain
+I suffered more than any others in Remyo. Why the rats should have
+preferred my room I know not, but undoubtedly they did. They gave balls
+every night on my dressing table, and organised athletic sports, chiefly
+hurdle races, on the floor. They had glorious supper parties on my
+trunks, leaving the whole place scattered with half-eaten walnuts, bits
+of biscuit, and morsels of cheese. They had concerts and debating
+societies in the still hours of the night, brawls and squabbles at all
+times; and true to tradition, made nests inside my Sunday hats, helping
+themselves to such of my finery as took their fancy.</p>
+
+<p>As I have said, they came in their hundreds, and I was powerless against
+them. In vain did I sit up in bed and "shoo" and clap my hands, they
+would pause for an instant, as the revellers in Brussels paused when
+they heard the cannon of Quatre Bras, then: "On with the dance let joy
+be unconfined, no sleep till morn when rats and walnuts meet," and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[Pg 194]</a></span> the
+noise would become more deafening than ever. I think they grew to enjoy
+my "shooings;" "the more noise the merrier" was evidently their motto;
+but one night when I dozed off after making myself particularly
+disagreeable, a large rat sprang upon my pillow, tore aside the mosquito
+curtains, and hit me violently with its tail. They are revengeful
+creatures.</p>
+
+<p>And what appetites they had? Poison they scoffed at, but ate everything
+else that was not soldered up in tin boxes, (from our Christmas pudding,
+to the Baby's pelisses, and my best gloves). Their most criminal act of
+depredation, was in regard to my brother's pipe. It was a beautifully
+grained pipe which I took out from England for a Christmas present. On
+Christmas Eve the rats penetrated into the drawer where I kept it, tore
+away the wrappings, and set to work. In the morning nothing was left but
+the stem, the perforated and jagged remains of the bowl, and a little
+heap of chawed bits of wood. My brother was very angry when I broke the
+news to him, but it wasn't my fault, they were his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[Pg 195]</a></span> rats; he ought to
+have had them under better control.</p>
+
+<p>We got a dog, but he was useless. He was a pariah puppy, of respectable
+parents; a cheery, popular fellow, who had so many evening engagements
+among his friends in the village, that he could scarcely ever spare a
+night at home; and during the day time he mostly slept. My sister and I
+both disliked him, she because he would worry the Baby's legs, I because
+he developed such an unbounded devotion to my shoes.</p>
+
+<p>He never attached himself to other shoes in this way, but mine he would
+not leave alone. He carried some off every day and hid them behind the
+furniture, or if he had a quiet ten minutes to himself, he buried them
+in the compound. Many a long lost shoe did we discover when turning out
+the drawing room, or digging up the flower beds. The others were amused
+at this frolicsome trait, but it was rather a stupid joke really.</p>
+
+<p>I was assured by the inhabitants of Remyo that mosquitos are unknown<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[Pg 196]</a></span>
+there during the cold weather. If this be really the case, there must
+have been a special pilgrimage, and obviously I was the object of their
+attentions. Fresh from England, they welcomed me with a delight that
+ought to have been highly gratifying; nor could they do enough to show
+their unbounded appreciation of me. I obtained mosquito curtains, but I
+suppose I was clumsy in the manipulation of them, for I spent many a
+lively night in the company of two or three enthusiasts who kept me
+awake by their odious "ping-ping" song, and their still more odious
+attentions.</p>
+
+<p>There is a district in Burmah, I am told, where the cattle are provided
+with mosquito curtains, and I can quite believe it, for if they can be
+so obnoxious in the hills in the cold weather, what must they be in the
+plains in the heat! All creatures have their work in this world, and I
+suppose the mosquito was created to subdue female vanity; one cannot
+well be vain with such a complexion as they gave me.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[Pg 197]</a></span></p><p>But let me quit this melancholy subject; it is impossible to be jocular
+with a mosquito, and strong language would be out of place in this book.</p>
+
+<p>Rats are not the only creatures in Remyo with whom we were forced to
+share our meals. The place abounds in ants, beetles, and "creeping
+things innumerable," and all these must live; which necessity we
+recognised, but wished they could live elsewhere.</p>
+
+<p>On the whole, I think the ant is the most objectionable of insects.
+There is a Burmese fable concerning an ant and a lion which tells how
+the ant was rewarded for assistance rendered to the lion, by receiving
+permission to go everywhere, and so that this prerogative may be fully
+exercised, the ant has, apparently, been gifted with matchless ingenuity
+in devising means to overcome all obstacles. Amongst other
+accomplishments it must have acquired the art either of swimming, flying
+or bridge building, for even the dishes of water, in the centre of which
+we placed our meals, were ineffectual.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[Pg 198]</a></span></p><p>The worthy Dr. Watts tells us to "go learn of the ant to be prudent and
+wise," but though it is with the most submissive humility that I venture
+to contradict such an authority on natural history as the gifted author
+of "How doth the little busy bee," yet I must confess that I do not
+recognise in the ants the first of the virtues indicated. They
+devastated a full box of chocolates in a single night, which surely was
+hardly prudent, unless they possess iron constitutions.</p>
+
+<p>It was without doubt profitable for us to have constantly before us the
+example of the clever and industrious ant, and we tried to profit
+thereby, but at times we could not help feeling that the sluggard would
+have been the more acceptable companion; the ant is so painfully
+energetic, especially in the matter of absorbing food&mdash;the sluggard, I
+feel sure, had more regard for his digestion.</p>
+
+<p>I never learned to distinguish the names of the innumerable crawling
+creatures whom we met at table at meal times. Their sole characteristic
+is greed,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[Pg 199]</a></span> and they kept me continually reminded of the plagues of
+Egypt, for they came in unlimited numbers, settling on the food,
+darkening the air with their numberless forms, and devouring everything
+eatable! They are eminently objectionable, and I defy the most devout
+lover of natural history and "beasties" generally, to find any pleasure
+in their society.</p>
+
+<p>One evening I was dining out, and towards the middle of dinner I
+perceived a large, hideous object nestling among the profuse flower
+decorations on the table. It didn't appear to me a very pleasant table
+companion, but as no one else remarked it, and as I dislike appearing
+disconcerted by the habits of strange countries, I said nothing about it
+so long as the creature remained quiet. But when at last it came out
+from its lair, and curling up its long tail made a run at me, I left the
+table hurriedly.</p>
+
+<p>To my relief the other guests also displayed uneasiness, for the object
+of my dislike was a scorpion, which had, it was supposed, been brought
+into the room<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[Pg 200]</a></span> with the flowers, and had remained hidden from all eyes
+but mine until its unwelcome disclosure of itself. There ensued an
+exciting chase up and down the table after the animal, till it was at
+length caught between two table spoons and drowned in a finger bowl.</p>
+
+<p>By little excitements of this kind the entertainments in Burmah are
+often enlivened. Some doubt has been cast upon this story by sceptical
+Europeans, but if any require proof, I can refer them to eminent members
+of the I. C. S., (men whom none would dare to doubt), who will assure
+them that such occurrences are frequent; in fact that the first place
+one would look for a scorpion would be among the flowers upon a dinner
+table!</p>
+
+<p>When watching the antics of a plump good tempered Jim Crow, as he
+disports himself upon a pleasant English lawn, or when listening to his
+peaceful "cawing" among the shady trees on a hot summer's day, one
+little dreams that this same harmless, law-abiding creature, when
+exposed to the degenerating influences of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[Pg 201]</a></span> the east, becomes transformed
+into the most disreputable vagabond upon the face of the earth.</p>
+
+<p>The impudent thefts by jackdaws have long been famed, but no words can
+describe the unbounded presumption of the Burmese crows.</p>
+
+<p>They are always on the watch, and if food be left for an instant in a
+room with open door or window, they enter, and settle on the table
+without a moment's hesitation, helping themselves to anything that takes
+their fancy, in the coolest manner imaginable. When the loogalays carry
+the dishes of food from the kitchen to the house, these same impish
+crows pounce down on them and bear away any tempting morsels, well
+knowing that the men have their hands full, and cannot make reprisals.
+They appear to know by instinct the approach of meal times, and settle
+in crowds on the veranda rail or the window ledge, ready to carry off
+the food directly one's back is turned, and in the meanwhile they pull
+faces at us, and make rude remarks,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[Pg 202]</a></span> for all the world like a collection
+of vulgar little street boys.</p>
+
+<p>They know no fear; they only mock and mimic "shooings" and hand
+clappings, and would laugh, I am sure, at the most awe-inspiring
+scare-crow ever erected. They sometimes go so far as to deliberately
+settle on the table and take a peck out of the cake, while one is
+sitting there, and then before they can be caught, they give a cheeky
+"caw," bow ironically, and flutter back to rejoin their admiring
+comrades (who have doubtless dared them to the act) on the veranda. I do
+not believe there exists any other creature in the world possessed of
+such boundless cheek.</p>
+
+<p>They have a strong sense of humour of a practical-joking kind, and one
+of their amusements in Remyo was to lure us away from the tea table by
+feigned attacks upon our pots of hyacinth bulbs, which they uprooted in
+the most devastating manner. We would fly out to the protection of our
+precious bulbs, and return to find our cakes devoured or<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[Pg 203]</a></span> carried away,
+by a reserve body of crows, who had been waiting in ambush behind the
+door.</p>
+
+<p>They occasionally combine forces with other thieves. The most wearing
+half hour I ever spent was one devoted to protecting the interest of the
+cake and the cream jug, from the hostile attacks of half a dozen crows
+and two kittens. While I lifted down the latter from the table the
+former settled upon the cake, and when I turned my attentions to them,
+the kittens returned to the charge. Mercifully, allies are not usually
+forthcoming; only young, ignorant, and disobedient kittens would
+associate with the disreputable crows; all properly brought up birds and
+beasts avoid association with them. Even the vultures, who sat all day
+on the trees shading the hospital, were contemptuous of those wicked
+"gamin" the crows.</p>
+
+<p>Dogs abound in every Burmese village, and they and the pigs are the
+chief scavengers of the place. Their number is legion, for it is
+contrary to the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[Pg 204]</a></span> Buddhist religion to take life, so all puppies are
+allowed to live; and as it is further considered an act of merit to feed
+them, they have a fairly pleasant existence.</p>
+
+<p>The pariah dog performs his scavenging duties conscientiously, but he
+possesses few other merits to recommend him to one's esteem. He is at
+best a stupid, noisy, thieving brute, whose "customs are nasty and whose
+manners are none;" he occupies his time eating, sleeping, and fighting,
+and his chief amusement is to snap at the heels of the European, and lie
+across the road to upset the unwary bicyclist. Periodically, when the
+pest becomes unbearable, a day of slaughter is appointed by the Majesty
+of the Law, and all dogs who have no owner are poisoned. But in spite of
+this rigorous measure, there never seems much diminution in the numbers.</p>
+
+<p>Our neighbour possessed three English dogs,&mdash;two terriers and a
+greyhound. They had, no doubt, been well brought up, but had been led
+astray by evil <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[Pg 205]</a></span>companions, and they joined in the campaign which the
+rats, crows, and other creatures carried on against us. They delighted
+to creep into our compound, trample on the flower beds, steal my cakes
+(perhaps the household was not altogether sorry for that), and make away
+with our tennis balls. One day, they drove a herd of ponies all over our
+beloved garden, and then retired chuckling, to watch from a safe
+distance, our desperate attempts to induce the bewildered creatures to
+find the gate.</p>
+
+<p>The greyhound, I think, would have been a harmless creature, but the
+terriers possessed a full share of the devilry of their breed, and urged
+him to accompany them in all their audacious tricks. I believe it was
+they who persuaded three goats (the chief destroyers of our kitchen
+garden) to commence their raiding expeditions into our grounds, for the
+goats always appeared from the neighbourhood of the dog's kennels, and
+there was generally one terrier, at least, watching when Po Sin's
+energetic chase of the goats over the radish beds began.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[Pg 206]</a></span></p><p>Other animals there were in the neighbourhood of Remyo, dwellers in the
+jungle, very different from the mischievous crew I have just described.
+Tiger, bear, panther, cheetah, soft-eyed gyee, hares, jackals, and
+others. Sometimes, as night drew near, I tried to picture how the
+inhabitants of the jungle would be waking from sleep and preparing for
+their busy night's work.</p>
+
+<p>The "Jungle Books" had of course inspired me with a great interest and
+affection for all these animals, especially "Baloo" the bear, and
+"Bagheera" the black panther, and I continued to love them so long as
+they remained at a respectable distance, but when, at times, they made
+expeditions into our neighbourhood, my admiration changed to awe.</p>
+
+<p>A tiger was the first visitor; he killed two ponies in the stable of a
+neighbour. Then a black panther commenced to parade, nightly, the road
+between our house and the club. He snapped up a little terrier which was
+trotting along at its master's heels one evening; he was reported to
+have been seen many times<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[Pg 207]</a></span> about dusk, slinking along by the road side,
+and one man broke a record on his bicycle, followed by an innocent and
+admiring pariah dog which he mistook for the panther. There is no doubt
+that the panther really did for a time haunt the road, but he was so
+useful as an excuse for the men to stay late at the club till they could
+get a lift down in someone else's dog-cart (an excuse that appeared
+quite convincing to their nervous wives) that he almost became an
+institution.</p>
+
+<p>From the first I distinctly disliked jackals. My bedroom window opened
+upon the back veranda, and one night I was awakened by a noise, and
+looking out I saw two of these beasts (I did not know at the time what
+they were) walking softly up and down devouring some food which the
+loogalays had left there.</p>
+
+<p>For some time I watched them, fascinated by these shadowy dark forms
+creeping about in the moonlight. Then, remembering that the back door
+was unfastened, that I was most probably the first person they would
+encounter should<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[Pg 208]</a></span> they enter, and that I had promised faithfully to
+return to England in six months, I thought it time to rouse my
+brother-in-law.</p>
+
+<p>Accordingly, I crept from my room, wakened him and my sister, and told
+them to get up, to bring their guns, and follow me, as the back veranda
+was full of wild animals, who might at any moment break into the house.
+They were both singularly uninterested in my information (indeed my
+brother only sleepily murmured "let them break" and went to sleep again)
+but I insisted, and at last he rose in a very bad temper and came to
+inquire into the cause of my alarm.</p>
+
+<p>Of course, the noise he made tumbling about and opening the door scared
+our visitors, and when he went out, the veranda was empty. A few
+scathing remarks about my powers of imagination were all the thanks I
+received for thus saving the lives of the family. Ingratitude, thy name
+is brother-in-law!</p>
+
+<p>After that my visitors came frequently, but I felt that I would rather
+die than risk<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[Pg 209]</a></span> more sarcasm, and when I found they had no evil
+intentions I grew rather to enjoy watching them. Their marvellous
+quickness, their caution, and the silence of their movements seemed to
+give a faint suggestion of what jungle life must be, though, of course,
+the jackal compared with the nobler animals, is no more than "Jacala,
+the belly that runs on four feet."</p>
+
+<p>After a while, our visitors were inspired to show their gratitude by
+nightly serenades. Gratitude is always delightful to meet with in man or
+beast, but I wished their's had taken some other form. A jackal's voice
+is powerful but unpleasant, and has a mournful effect upon the nerves.</p>
+
+<p>Of dead beasts I saw many. The jungle round Remyo seemed to be a perfect
+menagerie, and a noble panther, tiger or bear was often borne in triumph
+into the station and deposited in the centre of the Club compound, to be
+admired of all beholders.</p>
+
+<p>When no time could be spared for an<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[Pg 210]</a></span> organised shoot, a reward would be
+offered for the carcase of any panther or cheetah which might have been
+annoying a neighbouring jungle village, and the animal, when killed, was
+always brought in to be shown to my brother by the claimants of the
+reward. It was a little startling at first to have bears, panthers,
+etc., casually brought and deposited at one's front door, but we grew
+accustomed to it after a while, as one grows accustomed to all things
+but hanging. On one occasion some natives brought in the body of a huge
+leopard which had killed and eaten a man near their village (a most
+unusual proceeding for a leopard), and a terrible looking animal it was,
+with huge claws and teeth, and a sneaking deceitful face. The whole
+incident was disagreeably gruesome.</p>
+
+<p>On another occasion we were presented with two live bear cubs, whose
+parents had been killed. They were dear little fluffy brown creatures,
+and we longed to keep them, but they generally become a great nuisance
+when older, as they are always<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[Pg 211]</a></span> treacherous, and capable any day of
+trotting into the village and killing half a dozen people as a morning's
+amusement.</p>
+
+<p>I was strangely lucky (or unlucky, I hardly know which to call it) in
+the matter of snakes, for I did not see a single live snake during my
+visit. I constantly expected to meet one in the compound or jungle, but
+I never even found one coming up the water-hole in the bath-room, or
+coiled up in my bed. The creatures never came near me, even though I
+spread out the skin of a huge rock snake in the compound, in the hopes
+that its relations (as is invariably the custom with snakes in books)
+might be induced to assemble.</p>
+
+<p>The most wise looking creatures (always excepting the elephants) which I
+saw were the Burmese bullocks. Their grave, thoughtful, placid faces
+reminded me of the images of Gaudama. As they crawl along their way
+drawing the creaking bullock carts to the bazaar, or trot merrily
+through the jungle, taking gaily-attired Burmans to attend a Pw&eacute;, they
+have ever<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[Pg 212]</a></span> the same patient, quiet, abstracted expression, as though
+this menial work is to them a mere appendage to the deeper life of
+meditation. This is what their expression conveys to me; some think it
+denotes stupidity.</p>
+
+<p>The cattle belonging to the Burmese appear to be most independent
+animals. Each morning they wander away into the jungle at their own
+sweet wills, returning at night of their own accord for the milking. We
+were much astonished one day, when, in answer to our request that the
+milk might be brought earlier in future, the milkman replied with much
+"shekkohing" and humility that it could not be, as the cow did not wish
+to return earlier from her walk. The Burmans are very casual in their
+treatment and care of the cattle, numbers of which fall victims to
+tigers and other rapacious beasts.</p>
+
+<p>This chapter would not be complete without a word or two about the
+Burmese ponies; but who am I, who never could make head or tail of any
+pony's propensities, to presume to describe their character?<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[Pg 213]</a></span> Very small
+and wiry are they, very devoted to polo (which they understand quite as
+well as their masters, and which they play with the same keenness);
+conceited and obstinate; but obedient and affectionate to their masters,
+and possessing as great a love of a joke as a Burman himself.</p>
+
+<p>One of our ponies, "Pearl," a lovely little animal, and a splendid polo
+player, possessed all these characteristics. With her master or mistress
+she was as gentle and submissive as anyone could desire, but she assumed
+the most unpardonable airs towards all the rest of the world. She
+received caresses and attentions with a haughty disdain, turned up her
+nose at any but the very best food, and led her poor sais a most trying
+time. I admired her from afar, but we never became intimate; she
+evidently despised me, and had the most disagreeable knack of making me
+feel ignorant and small. She was too much of a lady to show her dislike
+by kicks or snaps, and treated an enemy with scornful indifference until
+he attempted to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[Pg 214]</a></span> ride her, when (to use a modern colloquialism) she soon
+managed to get a bit of her own back.</p>
+
+<p>"Stunsail", another of our ponies, was a good old soul, of worthy
+character but worthless value. He had missed his vocation in life, for
+he ought most certainly to have been a circus pony. He was full of
+tricks, not frolicsome or spontaneous ones, but tricks carefully
+acquired by long hours of practice, such as bowing to ladies, salaaming
+for bananas, and lying down, pretending to be dead. It was nice of him
+to have taken the trouble to acquire these accomplishments, but his
+fondness for displaying them at all times was often very disturbing to
+his rider.</p>
+
+<p>Our third pony "John" we always thought a quiet, easy-going individual,
+until we lent him to a lady who was paying a short visit to Remyo. She
+was not an accomplished horse-woman, but would not for the world have
+confessed to the fact, for she liked to pose as quite fearless, and
+devoted to riding.</p>
+
+<p>"John's" strong sense of humour first<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[Pg 215]</a></span> became apparent in his treatment
+of her. He soon gauged the extent of the lady's equestrian powers, and
+enjoyed himself immensely. He did not unseat her or bolt with her: his
+humour was of a much finer quality; he merely consistently refused to do
+anything she wished. When she intended a short ride, "John" would keep
+her out for hours; when she was prepared for an afternoon's expedition,
+"John" would bring her home after a half-mile canter. If she announced
+her wish to visit her friends at the far side of the station, "John"
+would take her for a gallop through the jungle; when she donned her
+oldest habit to go a quiet country ride "John" would insist upon her
+calling upon her smartest neighbours, and would walk up to the front
+door and stand there until she was obliged to dismount and enter.</p>
+
+<p>There was no limit to the mischievous devilry of that pony. When poor
+Mrs. F. rode out with the rest of the station, her troubles were even
+greater. When her companions suggested a gallop,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[Pg 216]</a></span> "John" wilfully
+assumed his slowest walk; and when everyone was riding slowly and
+conversing pleasantly together, the poor lady would suddenly, without
+any apparent reason, break off in the middle of a sentence, and set off
+at the wildest gallop through the jungle, or turn round and ride
+furiously for home. Nothing would induce her to confess that she could
+not manage her pony, so she was obliged to invent the wildest excuses
+and explanations for her conduct. Others thought it was her
+eccentricity, but we knew it was "John."</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[Pg 217]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2><span><span class="smcap">Chapter XI.</span></span>&mdash;<span class="smaller">SPORT.</span>&mdash;</h2>
+
+<p>In Burmah the Tiger story takes the place occupied by the fish story in
+this country, and is stamped, I suspect, with the same unblushing
+characteristics. Judging from the tiger stories I heard, I could come to
+no other conclusion than that the Anglo-Indian is possessed of amazing
+nerve and ingenuity (qualities useful to him alike in the exploit and in
+the telling of it), and I heard him with ever increasing interest and
+wonder. The tiger is the favourite theme, though he is but of small
+account whose chronicle does not also embrace some experiences in the
+pursuit of the elephant, the bear and other fearful wildfowl indigenous
+to the country.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[Pg 218]</a></span></p><p>Most men own to being a little chary about elephant hunting I found,
+but our friend the Policeman appeared to have shot them like snipe. At
+first I was rather inclined to make light of elephant shooting, they are
+such exceedingly large animals that I thought even I could hardly fail
+to bag one if I got him broadside on; but the Policeman set me right on
+that point.</p>
+
+<p>From his explanation, I gathered that the elephant is invulnerable save
+only in one vital part, a spot behind the ear, and the sportsman
+(according to my narrator) must be as dead on that spot as "Homocea."</p>
+
+<p>My informant also told me terrible stories of how the elephant will turn
+on his pursuer and trample on him, or tear him in pieces with his tusks,
+and he gave me further such blood-curdling descriptions of the
+terrifying noise made by an approaching herd of elephants crashing
+through the jungle, and trumpeting in their rage, that I felt devoutly
+thankful that I was visiting this particular district.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[Pg 219]</a></span> The wild
+elephants of the neighbouring jungle, in their almost human
+intelligence, recognised the danger to themselves of conduct other than
+the most retiring and unprovocative character in a locality where the
+peace was preserved by such an ever threatening Nemesis as our
+Policeman.</p>
+
+<p>Bears, too, our Policeman had frequently hunted, and many a hair-breadth
+escape had he effected by running up hill (bears cannot run up hill, you
+know), or swinging from tree to tree and performing other acrobatic
+feats which the bear was too heavy to attempt with success.</p>
+
+<p>On one occasion, he said he had been overtaken by the bear, and his left
+arm chawed in fourteen places (I forget why the bear couldn't be content
+with one spot and how he protected himself from the animal's further
+attentions); but he didn't mind the bear so much as the well meant
+efforts of his companion, who, the hero of the episode complained, stood
+afar off and poured in a devastating fire, directed in a distracted and
+indiscriminate manner at him and the bear alike. Many and varied<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[Pg 220]</a></span> indeed
+were the dangers through which this seemingly fearless hunter had passed
+unscathed.</p>
+
+<p>Several tigers visited the neighbourhood during my visit, and caused
+great excitement among the men at the Club, who thought nothing of
+sitting up all night in an uncomfortable tree, over an unsightly "kill,"
+in hope of compassing the animal's undoing.</p>
+
+<p>Often, alas! they were doomed to disappointment. On one occasion when my
+brother and a friend were awaiting a tiger's approach, a mist gathered
+round them, effectually obscuring everything from their sight. So there
+they were, obliged, perforce, to sit in darkness, not daring to descend,
+and of course unable to see, and cheered by listening to the tiger
+comfortably devouring its prey, within a few yards of their ambush. The
+Engineer, when he heard this story was for patenting an electric flash
+light, which could be turned on to light the Sportsman when the tiger
+was comfortably settled down to his meal, but this original suggestion
+was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[Pg 221]</a></span> ungratefully rejected, much to his disappointment.</p>
+
+<p>But one afternoon the Thugyi brought in word that a large tiger had been
+marked down in the neighbouring jungle, and a beat was arranged for the
+following day. Then it was that the Policeman earned our undying
+gratitude by proposing that we ladies, who had been behaving of late in
+an exemplary manner, should, for once, be allowed to accompany the
+Sportsmen, to see the great sight of our lives, a tiger shoot.</p>
+
+<p>I doubt whether the suggestion met with the entire approbation of the
+other males, but as the Policeman was organising the beat, and as we all
+promised to be very good and obedient, they agreed reluctantly to take
+us. Women, perhaps naturally, are considered very much "de trop" on
+these occasions. A tiger shoot is a serious, sometimes a dangerous
+business, and female frivolities and nerves would decidedly be
+embarrassments.</p>
+
+<p>I heard a story of a girl, reputed to be a great Sportswoman and a good
+shot, who<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[Pg 222]</a></span> accompanied her male friends upon one of these expeditions.
+Platforms had been built for the Sportsmen in the trees in the line of
+the beat, and she shared one with a man who was more accustomed to
+shooting and hunting than to the society of the other sex, whom he held
+in much greater awe than any wild animal, however dangerous. When the
+tiger made its appearance, the girl promptly fainted, and her poor
+companion spent a most unhappy ten minutes between the unconscious girl
+and the enraged tiger, being far more alarmed at the former.</p>
+
+<p>However, to return to my story, when we had given assurances that we
+never fainted, nor had hysterics, nor grew tired; and had promised
+faithfully not to move a muscle, not to speak a single word, not to
+disobey an order, and above all not to want to shoot, the men folk
+graciously allowed us to accompany them; but it was not to create a
+precedent.</p>
+
+<p>How excited we were and how nervous! A seat in a tree did not appear to
+me to offer much security against the tiger's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[Pg 223]</a></span> attack, however high it
+might be. Tigers, I had always been told, are near relations to cats,
+and I knew cats climb trees. When I nervously breathed these doubts to
+the Policeman, he solemnly assured me that tigers will not climb, and by
+standing on their hind legs can only reach up about fourteen feet; but
+this did not convince me, for had I not seen in my nursery days (and
+early impressions are lasting ones) brilliantly coloured pictures of
+tiger shoots wherein the tiger was invariably depicted, leaping into the
+air, or climbing fiercely up the side of an elephant, while the nervous
+occupant of the howdah peered cautiously over the edge? Was I to ignore
+the lessons of my youth? I can only explain this inconsistency by
+suggesting that tigers may have changed their habits with the advance of
+civilization.</p>
+
+<p>Nothing was talked of that evening but tigers and tiger shooting. The
+Policeman and other local sportsmen were in great request, and their
+stories were listened to with an interest and belief which I should
+think quite astonished them. Even to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[Pg 224]</a></span> the village did the excitement
+spread, for the love of sport is as prevalent among the Burmans as among
+Englishmen; and the natives are well paid for serving as beaters.</p>
+
+<p>Early in the morning the hunting party assembled in our compound, and,
+after partaking of a cheery "chota hazri," we set out, a merry cavalcade
+consisting of seven men, and three women, and accompanied by a
+miscellaneous collection of servants and native "shikarries."</p>
+
+<div class="center"><img src="images/i240.jpg" alt="A HPOONGYI KYAUNG MONASTERY" /></div>
+
+<p class="bold">A HPOONGYI KYAUNG MONASTERY</p>
+
+<p>It was one of those fresh, cool, delicious mornings that make one feel
+inclined to sing with Pippa:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<div>"The morning's at seven, The hillside's dew pearled."</div>
+<div>"God's in His Heaven, all's well with the World."</div>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>In spite of qualms regarding the ordeal before us, we enjoyed that early
+ride, and were a very happy, hungry crew when we arrived at the jungle
+village whither breakfast had already been despatched. We found
+everything ready, prepared by the Club Khansamah, and his staff of
+silent, well-trained loogalays, and we breakfasted in the "hpoongyi
+kyaung" itself, surrounded by images of Gaudama, by sacred<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[Pg 225]</a></span> pictures and
+bells; shaded by lovely groups of bamboos, and watched from afar by an
+interested crowd of young Burmans, whose shaven heads and yellow robes
+showed them to be the hpoongyi's pupils.</p>
+
+<p>But we were not allowed to linger too long in idleness, discussing the
+merits of "the chicken and ham, the muffin and toast, and the strawberry
+jam," to say nothing of luscious pineapples, incomparable bananas
+(differing as much from the banana we meet in England, as chalk from
+cheese), the much vaunted mangostines, the objectionable (from my way of
+thinking) custard apple, and the hundred, other delicacies which our
+generous hosts had provided for our delectation. I had scarcely
+exchanged three words with the pineapples, and had only a bowing
+acquaintance with the plum cake, when the doughty Policeman gave the
+word to start.</p>
+
+<p>It was really extraordinary how the presence of danger and
+responsibility affected the bearing of our Policeman. The change came on
+quite suddenly, in the middle of breakfast, and was maintained<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[Pg 226]</a></span> till
+evening. He was transformed from a jovial, talkative personage, to one
+sombre and morose, refusing to utter a word more than was absolutely
+necessary, greeting all observations with a discouraging frown or a
+shake of the head, and, in all his movements and actions displaying the
+impressive characteristics of "Hawkeye," and other Indian Hunter friends
+of one's youth. We ladies were immensely impressed, and did our best to
+imitate his severe expression and noiseless, stalking gait, as closely
+as possible. Perhaps we presented rather a weird appearance, stealing
+along with harassed, stern set faces, and cautious steps, like stage
+pirates, but concluding that it was the proper r&ocirc;le to adopt on such an
+occasion we adopted it.</p>
+
+<p>Outside the kyaung we met the beaters; a picturesque group in their
+bright coloured dresses, armed with sticks, cans, whistles, and
+everything sufficiently noisy to rouse "Shere Khan" from his noonday
+sleep. These beaters were despatched, under the direction of a native
+"shikarrie," to commence their work about half-a-mile to the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[Pg 227]</a></span> westward,
+while we went to take up our position to the east of the rumoured
+position of the tiger.</p>
+
+<p>By this time the sun was up, and it was becoming very hot. For about
+half an hour we stole along in single file through the jungle. Half the
+men went before us to part the tangled bushes, the remainder brought up
+the rear, lest one of us should be lost; a possible and very unpleasant
+prospect in jungle so thick that it is impossible to see a yard around.
+We were very silent, partly from excitement, partly because silence was
+advisable; for who could tell what sleeping inhabitant of the jungle we
+might pass within a few yards.</p>
+
+<p>At last our leader judged that we had penetrated far enough; he halted
+the party, and assigned to each gun its position. We ladies were each
+confided to the care of a good shot, and repaired with our respective
+protectors to the trees appointed for us by our leader. After some
+original research into the difficulties of tree climbing (especially
+tree climbing when the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[Pg 228]</a></span> tree has no branches within five or six feet of
+the ground), and the unpleasant sensation of missing one's footing and
+slithering down the trunk,&mdash;I at length, with the aid of much pulling,
+pushing, and other forcible assistance from my companion, attained my
+perch, and my protector climbed to a position in a tree close to mine.
+We had no platform to sit upon, but perched on the most convenient
+branches available. A branch of a tree is not the most comfortable seat
+in the world, and before the day was over I had ceased to envy "the
+birds of the air, who make their habitations among the branches."</p>
+
+<p>After all the sportsmen were settled in their relative positions, about
+a hundred yards apart, a weary time of waiting ensued. No one spoke.
+Everywhere around us were the mysterious humming, rustling sounds of the
+jungle, and far away to the westward we heard the faint noise of
+shouting and belaboured "tom-toms," which told us that the beaters had
+commenced their work. The strain of excitement was terrible.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[Pg 229]</a></span></p><p>I measured the distance between my feet and the ground, and calculated
+that, my tree not being very high, the tiger would experience little
+difficulty in reaching me. I mechanically drew up my feet, and tightened
+my hold on my sun umbrella; I remembered my board ship companions had
+assured me that poking an animal in the eye is very effective, but I
+didn't feel much confidence in this advice. Nor did I feel much
+confidence in my oft-tried, and much vaunted presence of mind; absence
+of body would have comforted me more. I peered up among the branches,
+and decided where I would place my feet if a sudden flight to higher
+regions should be necessary. Then I came to the conclusion that I didn't
+like tiger shooting at all.</p>
+
+<p>I glanced at my protector; he looked cool and alert. He was one of those
+men who appear absolutely uninterested in all that is going on until the
+supreme moment arrives, when they wake up suddenly and distinguish
+themselves, after which they relapse again into their former
+indifference. I regained my courage at sight of his coolness, and
+listened.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[Pg 230]</a></span></p><p>Intense stillness around and behind us; even the jungle had ceased to
+whisper. Everything seemed waiting in eager expectancy. But, before us,
+drawing ever nearer and nearer, were the beaters, rattling sticks and
+cans, whistling, shouting, and playing on "tom-toms," while between them
+and us, aroused from its heavy sleep, slinking away from the noise and
+disturbance was&mdash;&mdash;what? The possibilities of a jungle drive are
+endless. Suddenly the high grass beneath my tree parted, "Now for it," I
+think. But no! it is only a gyee, hurrying away with scared eyes from
+the unknown danger behind. It may escape to-day; its enemy, man, is
+after bigger game.</p>
+
+<p>Ever nearer drew the beaters. "Will it never end?" I whisper. But what
+was that? A loud report close to my ear; something flashes past in the
+grass below, there is a loud roar of pain and fury, and then "all is
+over except the shouting."</p>
+
+<p>For a few moments we waited in astonishment that it is all over so
+quickly, and in doubt if the animal be really dead.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[Pg 231]</a></span> Then everyone
+tumbled simultaneously from their perches and hurried to the spot.</p>
+
+<p>There lay the tiger, quite dead, but looking so lifelike that while I
+put my hand in his mouth or felt his cruel claws, I was conscious of a
+half fear lest he should be only shamming, and should come to life again
+with a sudden spring. The beautiful skin was uninjured, save where the
+bullet had entered the spine, and as we looked at him, the very emblem
+of strength and beauty lying there, slain without even a fight for life,
+I think we all felt a little pity.</p>
+
+<p>But pity soon gave way to triumph. The beaters arrived and crowded round
+the tiger, laughing and chattering; mocking the animal which had held
+them in such terror while he lived, and trying to steal his whiskers,
+which the Burmans value as charms.</p>
+
+<p>But we soon found we were hot, thirsty, and tired, so we set out on our
+return journey to Remyo, the beaters carrying our victim in triumph
+fastened on a long bamboo. News of our success had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[Pg 232]</a></span> preceded us, and as
+we approached the village we were met by an immense crowd of admiring
+natives, in that condition of giggling and jabbering excitement to which
+only a crowd composed largely of Madrassees can attain. So persistent
+were the attacks made upon the tiger's whiskers, that it became
+necessary at last to tie his head up in a bag, and in that undignified
+condition he was borne home and deposited safely in the club compound,
+where during the day, he was visited and admired by every inhabitant of
+the station.</p>
+
+<p>Thus ended my first and only tiger shoot. How I wish I could electrify
+my readers with descriptions of expeditions wherein I myself would
+appear as the heroine, shooting tigers, and performing other moving
+exploits by flood and field. But it may not be. The eager search after
+truth which has been so noticeable lately among the British public,
+restrains such interesting flights of fancy, and in these days,
+romancers who would display their quality to an appreciative audience,
+must address themselves to the Marines, or to the British Association.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[Pg 233]</a></span></p><p>There is endless variety of game in the neighbourhood of Remyo. Snipe
+are almost as common as sparrows at home; partridges, peacocks, jungle
+fowl, gyee, and hares all abound, and many an enjoyable shooting
+expedition is undertaken, sometimes with, sometimes without the excuse
+of "business" in the district.</p>
+
+<p>Well provided with ammunition, food, drink, rugs, and bedding, the
+Anglo-Indian sets out for two or three days sport, wandering from place
+to place, sleeping in the open sided "zayats," near the hpoongyi
+kyaungs, and spending the day in the jungle, in eager search after the
+Englishman's great desire "something to kill."</p>
+
+<p>Some of the native "shikarries" who accompany these expeditions are
+splendid men. They are very silent, very uninterested in, even
+contemptuous of, things not connected with sport, but devoted to their
+profession, and as keenly excited, as delighted at success, or
+disappointed at failure, as any good sportsman all the world over; and
+possessing moreover a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[Pg 234]</a></span> knowledge of the habits and customs of the jungle
+folk scarcely surpassed by "Mowgli" himself.</p>
+
+<p>A form of sport much indulged in by the Shan chiefs in the past, but
+which has been strenuously discouraged was "Collecting Heads." The last
+exponent of the game dwelt in the hills on the Shan State border, and
+was the hereditary leader of a large tribe of men as fierce and savage
+as himself. He was an ancient chief, proud of his race, his power, and
+position; proud too of his home, and above all proud of his wonderful
+bodily strength. Many and marvellous are the stories told of his
+extraordinary doings. On one occasion, unarmed, he fought and killed a
+tiger, clinging to its throat until he throttled it. He bore the marks
+of the contest, huge scars upon his head, and throat, and chest, until
+his dying day.</p>
+
+<p>It was his custom (as doubtless it had been the custom of his ancestors,
+and of many of their neighbours) to descend periodically from his
+mountain heights alone and spend a few weeks in the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[Pg 235]</a></span>neighbouring
+plains, engaged in his favourite hobby of collecting heads. He was not
+particular what heads he collected, but he preferred human ones when he
+could get them. He would remain in the plains for a while, way-laying,
+hunting, and slaying as many of his fellow creatures as he could meet
+with (occasionally perhaps varying the sport by killing a tiger) and at
+last when he grew for the nonce weary of this amusement, he would return
+in triumph to his tribe, and display to their admiring gaze his ghastly
+spoils.</p>
+
+<p>The placid native suffered his hostile inroads with that fatalism with
+which they regard all misfortune. But one day the Chief made a slight
+mistake by adding to his collection the head of an Englishman (who was
+no doubt poaching in the Chief's country) and for this departure from
+the accepted rules of the game, he paid penalty.</p>
+
+<p>A detachment of soldiers was despatched, who soon scattered the tribe
+and captured the offender. I met the subaltern who had been in charge of
+the escort, which brought him down to the plains, and he described<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[Pg 236]</a></span> to
+me the desperate efforts the fierce old man made to escape. He was bound
+hand and foot, watched night and day by four men, and his bonds were
+inspected every hour; on one of these inspections it was discovered that
+the ropes were frayed and gnawed half away. But his efforts were of no
+avail; though he had the strength of a giant he could do nothing against
+such overpowering odds.</p>
+
+<p>When at length they reached the plains, he turned to have a last look at
+the vanishing shadows of the hills, which no doubt he had loved with
+that silent, passionate love felt for their home by the inhabitants of
+all mountainous countries, and after a final desperate effort to kill
+himself, he suddenly seemed to relinquish all hope, and resigned himself
+stolidly to his fate.</p>
+
+<p>His defiance and strength seemed to pass away with that last sight of
+his beloved hills, and a broken-spirited, weak, helpless, old man was
+all that remained. They brought him to Rangoon and banished his old,
+worn-out body to the Andaman Islands, but his proud, fierce<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[Pg 237]</a></span> spirit fled
+back with that last look at the hills, and haunts the wild regions where
+he loved to roam.</p>
+
+<p class="tbrk">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class="center"><img src="images/i254.jpg" alt="Decoration" /></div>
+
+<hr /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[Pg 238]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2><span><span class="smcap">Chapter XII.</span></span>&mdash;<span class="smaller">THE RETURN.</span>&mdash;</h2>
+
+<div class="block"><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<div>"But that's all shove be'ind me&mdash;long ago and far away</div>
+<div>An' there ain't no busses runnin' from the Bank to Mandalay."</div>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<div>"For the temple-bells are callin', and it's there that I would be</div>
+<div>By the old Moulmein Pagoda, looking lazy at the sea."</div>
+<div><span class="s12">&nbsp;</span><span class="s12">&nbsp;</span>(Kipling.)</div></div></div></div>
+
+<p class="center"><b>&mdash;&mdash;</b></p>
+
+<p>To the stranger in this fascinating country, days are as minutes, months
+as days, and it seemed that scarcely had I arrived and commenced to look
+around me, when my visit came to an end, and sadly bidding farewell to
+Remyo and its many delights, all too soon I had to return home.</p>
+
+<p>Alas! too, I found I was compelled to renew my acquaintance with the
+Burmese pony, the only alternative being a bullock cart; and let those
+who have ridden forty miles along an up-country road in a Burmese
+bullock cart&mdash;&mdash;but no! I do not like to think such an experience can
+have befallen my worst enemy.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[Pg 239]</a></span></p><p>Once more, therefore, I mounted to the saddle, and rode, or more
+properly speaking bumped, twenty miles the first day. At the end of that
+distance I had no desire to proceed further, nor, I am sure, had the
+pony. Accordingly, we stopped at the now familiar d&acirc;k bungalow, and
+stabled ourselves and our ponies for the night. I do not know what were
+my pony's feelings that night as he thought over the events of the day,
+but they cannot have been pleasant. He was a strong-minded pony
+(possibly he had some sympathy for his rider) and having come to the
+conclusion that a repetition on the morrow of the past day's proceedings
+would be unpleasant and unwise, during the night he slipped his halter
+and gently trotted back to Remyo, accompanied by my brother's and the
+orderly's mounts.</p>
+
+<p>When we arose in the morning, all we found in the little hut at the
+bottom of the bungalow compound were three belated looking saddles and
+some broken bridle reins, and the only course open to us was to continue
+our journey on foot.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[Pg 240]</a></span></p><p>Some people, I believe, pretend to see humour in such situations, but
+we were not amused. The heat was awful, the road almost knee deep in
+dust, and as we plodded along for several miles, losing our way in short
+cuts, scrambling down precipitous ravines and dry water courses, and
+exchanging no single word, but keeping all our breath for the exertion
+of clambering out again, I became, by comparison, almost reconciled to
+the previous day's experiences.</p>
+
+<p>When at last we reached the foot of the hills, and found a "gharry"
+waiting to convey us to Mandalay, we resembled pillars of dust, and were
+as thirsty as the desert. I was so tired that I forgot to be sentimental
+over the last glimpse of the hills; and as we approached Mandalay,
+beautiful in her bower of green, with the sun shining as ever on the
+"dreaming spires," the white pagodas, and the golden domes, my one and
+only desire was "Drink."</p>
+
+<p>I had delayed my departure from Remyo as late as possible in the hopes
+of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[Pg 241]</a></span> witnessing a "hpoongyi burning," one of the most characteristic
+Burmese festivals. The holy man had died some time previously, and in
+order to do his memory due honour, his body had been preserved many
+months, and the burning, with the many strange rites and festivities
+which invariably accompany such ceremonies, was announced to take place
+the week before my departure. But from some unknown cause (perhaps they
+discovered he had been more virtuous than they at first imagined) the
+authorities suddenly decided to preserve the body until a more imposing
+pageant could be prepared, so I missed the sight; and having delayed my
+departure, I had time only to spend a few hours in Mandalay and Rangoon
+before embarking on the homeward bound steamer.</p>
+
+<p>It was very sad, that departure from Rangoon, where so many friends were
+left behind, as the last beauties of this bewitching country faded
+slowly from sight. The glaring noonday sunshine shed no illusory haze
+over the scene. The<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[Pg 242]</a></span> muddy brown water of the river and the ugly shores
+lined with factories and mills, seemed a foretaste of the matter-of-fact
+land to which we were returning; but behind rose the distant palm trees,
+and the golden dome; and the soft music of the tinkling bells of the
+pagoda, bidding us a last farewell, was wafted to us by the perfume
+laden eastern breeze.</p>
+
+<p>My homeward voyage was without any extraordinary incident, and in due
+course I arrived at Marseilles. This well-known port requires no
+description, but I must say a few words in its favour; it is so
+universally disparaged.</p>
+
+<p>The noisy, unsavoury Marseilles of the docks and harbour is very
+different from Marseilles viewed from that magnificent church, "Notre
+Dame de la garde." When we climb to the summit of the rock whereon
+stands the stately white church, surmounted by the huge golden image of
+the Virgin, keeping watch over the ships that enter the harbour, and
+shining as a beacon miles out to welcome sight to the longing eyes of
+the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[Pg 243]</a></span> home coming sailor; when we look down from our height over the
+pretty little red and white houses, the graceful spires, and the
+clusters of dark green foliage nestling in the shelter of the high white
+cliffs which enclose the harbour; and again beyond the town, beyond the
+rugged brown rocks, and the placid deep blue water, to the ancient
+"Chateau D'If," dark and forbidding in the midst of the sunny landscape,
+we acknowledge that nature in the bestowal of her beauties has not,
+after all, confined her gifts to the dreaming East.</p>
+
+<p>I think the true reason why Marseilles is so frequently spoken of with
+disfavour is on account of the "Bouillabaisse," the terrible mixture
+which delights the palates of the natives, and which innocent strangers
+are induced to partake of under the delusion that it must therefore be
+good for human food.</p>
+
+<p>The only recommendation this dish possesses is the curious interest it
+arouses in one's mind as to what it is really composed of. One never
+knows what form of fish, flesh, or <i>bad</i> red herring one may encounter<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[Pg 244]</a></span>
+next. The appearance of the dish resembles one's childish imaginations
+of a "Mess of Pottage." Its scent suggests Marseilles harbour, and the
+stoke hole of a Channel steamer. I myself was never sufficiently
+enterprising to taste it, but judging by the expression of haggard
+thought that overspread the features of some who were so venturesome, I
+should say the taste must be "mystic, wonderful," and that years of
+careful study are necessary to attain to a true appreciation of its
+subtle delicacy.</p>
+
+<p>I think the journey from Marseilles to London is the most wearisome that
+can be undertaken. After the warmth, the quiet, and the absence of hurry
+to which I had become accustomed in the East, I found the bustle and
+noise, added to the piercing cold of a European April, almost
+overpowering. I shivered on deck, as our steamer ploughed her way across
+the Channel, through a damp clinging fog, and when at last the welcome
+white cliffs came into sight, I was far too miserable to wax sentimental
+over this return to my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[Pg 245]</a></span> native shore, and I longed only for tea and a
+fire.</p>
+
+<p>Yet after all, despite the contrast betwixt sunshine and yellow fog,
+between jungle glades and London streets, despite all the advantages
+which we know that every other clime and country can boast over our own,
+England is England still, and Home is Home.</p>
+
+<p>And now let me offer a word of advice to those who, like myself,
+undertake adventurous wanderings far from their native land, and recount
+the same with many embellishments. On their return home, let them beware
+of introducing to the admiring circle of their friends, any who may have
+accompanied them on their travels.</p>
+
+<p>I had been back at home some three months, had told my story, and had
+established my reputation, when one day a visitor from Burmah arrived.</p>
+
+<p>He had not been long in the house before some uncalled-for allusion was
+made to the historic occasion on which I defended my sister's house in
+Remyo from a body of dacoits. He denied all knowledge<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[Pg 246]</a></span> of the incident.
+Suspicions awoke in the breasts of my friends. They questioned the
+visitor about my struggle with the tiger, my adventure with the bear, my
+heroic bravery on the occasion of the shipwreck, and about all my other
+best inspired narrations.</p>
+
+<p>Alas! he denied them all, and my credit was gone for ever. I fancy some
+have even ceased to believe that I have been to Burmah at all, and some
+have become so suspicious as to make enquiries as to whether I really am
+myself. It is hard! and the recently notorious contributor to the "Wide
+Wide World" Magazine has my deep sympathy. Would I had lived in the days
+of Columbus; I would have discovered more than America, had I enjoyed
+such excellent opportunities as did he.</p>
+
+<p class="center">*&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;*&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;*&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;*&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;*&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;*</p>
+
+<p>Thus ends the account of my experiences in Burmah, and of the impression
+left on my mind by this oft-described country.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[Pg 247]</a></span></p><p>Perhaps distance lends enchantment to the view, and makes me forget the
+evils of the climate, the dangers and discomforts of life there, the
+slowness of locomotion, the lack of many so-called benefits of
+civilisation; and I seem to remember only a land where the sun is always
+shining and the world is always gay; where the air is heavy with
+delicious eastern scents, and filled with the harmonious music of the
+temple bells, as they are gently swayed by the whispering breeze. A land
+where the hues of earth can vie with the brilliancy of the sunset, and
+the eye is feasted with delicately blended colours.</p>
+
+<p>Here Beauty and Peace hold eternal honeymoon. Misery seems to have no
+place in this land of delight, but contentment ever reigns, and the
+happy Burman dreams away his life in a paradise of sunshine. No one who
+has visited this country can ever forget it, but learns to understand
+too well that fascination so well expressed by Mr. Kipling: "If you've
+'eard the East a' callin', you won't never 'eed nought else."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[Pg 248]</a></span></p><p>I remember Burmah, too, as a land of picturesque buildings, of rich
+jewels, exquisite costumes, and beautiful graceful women. A land of
+kindly hearts, friendly welcomes, and ungrudging hospitality.</p>
+
+<p>These are remembered when the last glint of the golden-domed pagoda has
+faded into the shadowy distance, and we sail away from the peaceful
+sunshine and the palm trees, westward ho! to this hurrying, bustling
+modern world, where, though beauty exists, we have no time to appreciate
+it, and where, like King Midas of old, we would turn all we touch to
+glittering gold, and for ever destroy its charm.</p>
+
+<p class="tbrk">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<hr class="smler" />
+
+<p class="center">R. PLATT, PRINTER, WIGAN.</p>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of An English Girl's First Impressions of
+Burmah, by Beth Ellis
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AN ENGLISH GIRL'S FIRST ***
+
+***** This file should be named 40001-h.htm or 40001-h.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+        http://www.gutenberg.org/4/0/0/0/40001/
+
+Produced by sp1nd, Martin Pettit and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+http://gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
+http://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://pglaf.org
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://pglaf.org
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     http://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
+
+
+</pre>
+
+</body>
+</html>
diff --git a/40001-h/images/cover.jpg b/40001-h/images/cover.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..86df434
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001-h/images/cover.jpg
diff --git a/40001-h/images/i001.jpg b/40001-h/images/i001.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..38d1475
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001-h/images/i001.jpg
diff --git a/40001-h/images/i008.jpg b/40001-h/images/i008.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8aa3f8d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001-h/images/i008.jpg
diff --git a/40001-h/images/i036.jpg b/40001-h/images/i036.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..28c1a81
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001-h/images/i036.jpg
diff --git a/40001-h/images/i042.jpg b/40001-h/images/i042.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..c27d922
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001-h/images/i042.jpg
diff --git a/40001-h/images/i096.jpg b/40001-h/images/i096.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6900b32
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001-h/images/i096.jpg
diff --git a/40001-h/images/i178.jpg b/40001-h/images/i178.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8a5d898
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001-h/images/i178.jpg
diff --git a/40001-h/images/i192.jpg b/40001-h/images/i192.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..13fdeb8
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001-h/images/i192.jpg
diff --git a/40001-h/images/i206.jpg b/40001-h/images/i206.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f2f4583
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001-h/images/i206.jpg
diff --git a/40001-h/images/i240.jpg b/40001-h/images/i240.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..813d674
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001-h/images/i240.jpg
diff --git a/40001-h/images/i254.jpg b/40001-h/images/i254.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e282660
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001-h/images/i254.jpg
diff --git a/40001.txt b/40001.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..7670ec0
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,5043 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of An English Girl's First Impressions of
+Burmah, by Beth Ellis
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
+
+
+Title: An English Girl's First Impressions of Burmah
+
+Author: Beth Ellis
+
+Release Date: June 16, 2012 [EBook #40001]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AN ENGLISH GIRL'S FIRST ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by sp1nd, Martin Pettit and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+AN ENGLISH GIRL'S FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF BURMAH.
+
+BY
+BETH ELLIS.
+
+"'TIS TRUE 'TIS STRANGE, BUT TRUTH IS
+ALWAYS STRANGE; STRANGER SOMETIMES
+THAN FICTION."
+
+Wigan:
+R. PLATT, 17, WALLGATE.
+
+London:
+SIMPKIN, MARSHALL, HAMILTON, KENT & CO., LTD.
+
+1899.
+
+
+[Illustration: EASTWARD HO!
+
+PASSING THROUGH THE SUEZ CANAL]
+
+
+DEDICATED
+
+TO
+
+T. E.
+
+
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS.
+
+
+Eastward Ho!            _Frontispiece_
+
+                          TO FACE PAGE
+Elephant Moving Timber              32
+
+Burmese Bullock Cart                84
+
+Native Bazaar at Remyo             164
+
+A Hpoongyi Kyaung                  224
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+
+_Chapter_                       _Page_
+
+I.    THE VOYAGE                     1
+
+II.   RANGOON                       28
+
+III.  THE ROAD TO MANDALAY          46
+
+IV.   THE JOURNEY TO THE HILLS      61
+
+V.    AN UP-COUNTRY STATION         87
+
+VI.   THE EUROPEAN INHABITANTS     103
+
+VII.  THE BURMESE                  142
+
+VIII. ENTERTAINING                 168
+
+IX.   ADVENTURES                   178
+
+X.    BEASTS AND REPTILES          192
+
+XI.   SPORT                        217
+
+XII.  THE RETURN                   238
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+
+_Towards the close of my visit to Burmah I was dining one night at a
+friend's house in Rangoon, when my neighbour, a noted member of the I.
+C. S. suddenly turned to me and asked me if it was my intention to write
+a book. At my prompt reply in the negative he seemed astonished, and
+asked, what then did I intend to do with my life? I had never looked at
+the matter in that light before, and felt depressed. It has always been
+my ambition to do at Rome as the Romans do, and if, as my questioner
+clearly intimated, it was the custom for every casual visitor to the
+Land of Pagodas either to write a book or to "do something with his
+life," my duty seemed clear. I had no desire at all to undertake either
+of the tasks, but as there was apparently no third course open to me, I
+decided to choose the safer of the two, and write a book. So far so
+good, but what to write about? I have considered the merits of
+innumerable subjects, from the exploits of the old Greek heroes to green
+Carnations, but each appears to have been appropriated by some earlier
+author. The only subject which, so far as I can discover, has never
+hitherto formed the theme of song or story, is Myself, and as that is a
+subject about which I ought to know more than most folks and which has
+always appeared to me to be intensely interesting, I have adopted it as
+the theme of this, my first plunge into Literature._
+
+[Illustration: Decoration]
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+THE VOYAGE.
+
+     "Who spoke of things beyond my knowledge and showed me many things
+     I had never seen before."
+
+
+     "For to admire, and for to see, and for to behold
+     the world so wide."--(Rudyard Kipling.)
+
+
+"I am not naturally a coward, except when I am afraid; at other times I
+am as brave as a lion."
+
+It is an unfortunate state of existence, but such it is. From my
+babyhood I have been known to my friends and relations as one who might
+be confidently expected to behave in a most terror-stricken manner on
+all occasions when no real danger threatened; but for myself, I have
+always felt convinced that should I ever be brought face to face with
+real danger, I should behave with a coolness and courage calculated to
+win the unbounded admiration of all beholders. I say advisedly "of all
+beholders," because, possibly, were no witnesses present, I might not
+feel disposed to show so resolute a front to the danger!
+
+For example, in the case of a shipwreck, I can picture myself
+presenting my life-belt to any one in distress, in the most
+self-sacrificing manner, with the neatest little speech, quite worthy of
+"Sir Philip Sidney" himself, and from some commanding post of vantage in
+the rigging, haranguing the terrified passengers on the advisability of
+keeping their heads. I feel sure that no power on earth would prevent me
+from diving into the raging sea to rescue inexpert swimmers from a
+watery death, were such an opportunity to present itself to me.
+
+And yet, if I am taken out of my depth, during a morning bathe, I am
+paralysed with fear. Though a brave and expert swimmer in shallow water,
+no sooner do I find myself out of reach of dry land, than all my powers
+forsake me. I swim with short, irregular, and utterly ineffective
+strokes, I pant, gasp and struggle, and unless promptly rescued, I sink.
+
+Or again, I can in imagination picture myself snatching little children
+from under the hoofs of maddened horses, or with a plunge at the reins,
+stopping them in the full force of their desperate career.
+
+But in reality I have never yet had sufficient courage to enter into
+close intimacy with any horse, maddened or otherwise. Once, when I
+wished to ingratiate myself in the eyes of the owner, I did venture to
+pat a horse gingerly on the neck, well out of reach of mouth or heels,
+but the animal shied away promptly, and I have never repeated the
+experiment.
+
+Twice indeed, when a small girl, I was induced to mount to the saddle,
+and then my expectations were not disappointed. Real danger stared me in
+the face, and I was brave. When the horse, for some unaccountable
+reason, pricked its ears, tossed its head, and began to trot, I did not
+scream, I did not call for help, I merely grasped the pummel with one
+hand, the saddle with the other, shut my eyes and waited for the end.
+The end was sudden and somewhat painful.
+
+But in this matter-of-fact little England of ours there are few
+opportunities, outside the yellow backed novel, of meeting with real
+adventures. Picture then my delight when I received an invitation to
+spend the winter in Burmah. I knew where Burmah was; that it was bounded
+by Siam, China, and Tibet; anything was possible in a country with such
+surroundings. I was charmed to go.
+
+Accordingly, I bought a great many unnecessary things, as is ever the
+custom with inexperienced travellers, and started from Liverpool early
+in November, my mind filled with dreams of tiger shooting, cobra
+killing, dacoit hunting, and other venturesome deeds.
+
+After I had recovered from the effects of homesickness, brought on by my
+first venture into the unknown world, and sea sickness brought on by the
+Bay of Biscay, I found the ship a world of hitherto undreamt of
+delights. I suppose the voyage was much the same as all other voyages,
+but to me, naturally, it was full of enjoyments, wonders, and new
+experiences. Everything was delightful, including the "Amusement
+Committee" and "Baggage Days"; even coaling, I think, for the first
+five minutes was full of interest.
+
+I have since been told that my fellow passengers were not uncommon
+types, but to me they appeared the most wonderful and interesting beings
+who ever lived in this work-a-day world. Certainly, none could have been
+kinder to a lone, lorn female than were they. There were, of course, on
+board several other passengers making their first voyage, young Indian
+Civilians much advised and patronised by seniors of two years standing,
+but these were of interest only as partners in games and dances. It was
+in the real seasoned article, the self-satisfied, and immensely
+kind-hearted Anglo-Indian, in whom I found my real interest.
+
+And they were all very good to me. Finding me young, ignorant, and eager
+for information, they undertook my education, and taught me many things
+which I did not know before, shedding new light on all subjects, from
+"the only way to eat a banana," to the object of creation.
+
+I learned that India was created that the Indian Civilian might dwell
+therein; the rest of mankind was created in order to admire the Indian
+Civilian. Something of this sort I had already heard from my
+brother-in-law, a member of that service, but one does not pay much
+attention to what brothers-in-law say.
+
+Burmah, I discovered, is a land where teak grows, in order that the
+"Bombay Burman" may go there and collect it. I have no very clear idea
+as to what this "Bombay Burman" may be, but suppose him to be a member
+of a society of men who uphold the principles of a late Prime Minister;
+not political, but woodcraft.
+
+There are other dwellers in India and Burmah; indeed, one man proved to
+me that the welfare of the British Constitution was solely dependent
+upon the efficient condition of the Burmese police force, of which he
+was an important member, but his arguments seemed to me a trifle
+involved. On the whole, the other inhabitants of these countries seem to
+be of little use or importance, unless perhaps it be to amuse and
+entertain the Indian Civilian and the "Bombay Burman" in his leisure
+hours.
+
+Further, I was instructed that Ceylon is a country in which dwell the
+best (and the noisiest!) fellows in the world. They have innumerable
+horse races, eat prawn curry, are prodigiously hospitable, and in odd
+hours grow tea.
+
+My fellow passengers also filled my eager mind with stories of wonderful
+adventure. Burmah, apparently, is crowded with tigers and wild
+elephants, of a size and ferocity which filled me with fear. But as
+every man on board appeared to have slain tigers and captured elephants
+innumerable, and that under the most surprisingly dangerous
+circumstances, I felt I should be well protected.
+
+I was also taught how to overcome a wild beast, should I chance to meet
+with one when weaponless.
+
+A bear should cause but little anxiety; it is only necessary to hit him
+violently over the nose; he will then stop and cry, and his victim will
+escape. But beware! one man was so much amused at the bear's strange
+cry that he laughed and forgot to run away. The bear killed him.
+
+When chased by an elephant the pursued should, I believe, climb up a
+clump of feathery bamboos, where the beast cannot reach him. When I saw
+a clump of feathery bamboos I rather wondered how anyone could climb it;
+but all things are possible to one pursued.
+
+A tiger presents greater difficulties. If he doesn't run away when you
+wave your arms and shout, you should poke your stick through his eye
+into his brain, or get on his back, out of reach of his claws, and
+throttle him. If that fails, pretend to be dead; if that even fails, you
+must die.
+
+All this information I accepted gratefully and stored in my memory for
+use when opportunity should arise. In the meantime I continued to enjoy
+my voyage, and turned all my energies to mastering the science of
+board-ship games.
+
+The one game which I never could play was "Bull." To me it seemed the
+most foolish game ever invented. It is played by means of six flat
+pads, about two inches in diameter, and a large sloping black board,
+divided by thick white lines into twelve squares. Ten of these squares
+are marked with numbers, the remaining two with "Bs." The object of the
+player is to throw the pads on to the centre of the squares, avoiding
+the lines, which count nothing, and above all avoiding the "Bs," which
+count "minus ten." At the end of each turn the total of the numbers
+scored is reckoned, and the highest score wins.
+
+In the "Bull" tournament I was drawn to play with a Mr. Rod, whom I did
+not know, but who enjoyed the reputation of being an excellent player,
+and very keen to win. One morning I was practising, and playing, if
+possible, worse than usual, when I noticed a melancholy-looking man,
+seated on a camp stool, watching my performance. I was struck by his
+ever increasing sadness of expression, and enquired his name.
+
+He was Mr. Rod.
+
+In the tournament my score was minus twenty; I did not see him any more
+during the voyage!
+
+I learned that one or two people had seen a worse "Bull" player than
+myself. Her first three throws went overboard, the fourth went down an
+air funnel, and the fifth upset an ink-stand, showering the contents
+over an innocent spectator of the game. She never attempted to play
+"Bull" again; it had made her so unpopular.
+
+Great indeed are the attractions of board-ship life on a first voyage.
+The congenial companionship, the exhilarating outdoor life, the constant
+succession of games, gaieties, and amusements, the novelty of every
+thing, all tend to shed a halo over what, to the seasoned traveller, is
+merely a period of utter boredom, to be dragged through with as little
+ennui as possible. But the chief charm to me lay in the glimpse, though
+only distant, of new lands, lands which had hitherto been merely
+geographical or historical names, but which now acquired a new reality
+and interest.
+
+The first few days we saw little of the land, but after the Bay was
+passed, our course lay more inland, and we saw the coast of Spain and
+Portugal, beautiful in the sunlight, red rocks and green slopes rising
+up from a sea of deepest blue.
+
+Then appeared on the horizon a vague shadowy cloud, which we learned was
+Africa. The first glimpse of a new continent, and a continent fraught
+with such endless possibilities is impressive; and as we drew nearer,
+and gazed on that dark range of wild, bare hills, I sympathised
+thoroughly with a wee fellow-passenger who was discovered, full of
+mingled hope and terror, looking eagerly at the dreary waste of land in
+search of lions!
+
+Soon again we forgot all else, when, shaping our course round the south
+of Spain, Gibraltar broke upon our view. What a wonder it is! that great
+rugged rock, shaped on the northwest like a crouching lion, rising dark,
+cold and solitary, amid the alien lands around it. Unmoved by the raging
+seas beneath, it stands calm and defiant, a fit emblem of the nation to
+which it belongs. Surely no Englishman can behold Gibraltar without
+feeling proud of his nationality.
+
+We passed close to the north of Corsica, where the hills were covered
+with snow, though it was still early winter. A dreary inhospitable
+looking country is this: a fit birthplace for that iron-heart the First
+Napoleon.
+
+We passed through the Straits of Messina by full moonlight, and never
+have I beheld a scene of more fairylike beauty. The Sicilian coast
+seemed (for all was vague and shadowy) to rise in gentle slopes from the
+dark water, the land looked thickly wooded and well cultivated, and here
+and there appeared the little white towns, nestling among trees and
+vineyards, or perched beneath sheltering rocks, a peaceful and beautiful
+paradise. On the Italian coast the scenery was a complete contrast, the
+high, fierce hills stood up black and frowning against the clear sky,
+the country was wild, dreary and desolate. This mingling of peaceful
+homelike landscape, and weird rugged scenery, with the tender romance
+of the moon shining on the still dark water, reminded me, somehow, of
+Wagner's music; nothing else can so fitly represent the scene.
+
+Our course did not carry us very near to Crete, but we saw Mount Ida
+rising beautiful and snow-crowned in the centre of a tumultuous land.
+What scorn and pity this fair Mother Ida must feel for the miserable
+dwellers at her feet!
+
+We stopped at Port Said for four hours. During the first two hours I was
+charmed with the place; it seemed just like a big exhibition, everything
+was so strange and unreal. The donkeys were delightful, the Turkish
+traders so amusing, and shopping, when one has to bargain twenty minutes
+over every article, and then toss up about the price, is certainly a new
+experience.
+
+During the third hour I found that the heat, dust, and endless noise and
+chatter were far from unreal. I had bought every conceivable thing that
+I could not possibly want, and paid three times the proper price for it.
+The Arabs ceased to be amusing; I was bored to tears.
+
+During the fourth hour I grew to hate the place and its inhabitants
+with a deadly hatred, and could have kissed the ship in my delight at
+returning to her, had she not been covered with coal dust.
+
+My first experience of the natives of Port Said was a long brown arm
+coming through my porthole, feeling about for whatsoever valuable it
+might find; a hearty smack with a hair brush caused it to retire
+abruptly. The last I saw of them was a pompous trader thrown overboard
+with all his wares, because he would not leave the ship when ordered.
+His companions in their boat, I noticed, busily rescued the wares, but
+seemed quite indifferent to the safety of the poor owner, whom they left
+to struggle to shore as best he could.
+
+It is said that one would meet everyone sometime at Port Said if one
+waited long enough; I would rather forego the meeting.
+
+The Canal, I believe, is generally regarded as an unmitigated nuisance,
+and indeed, the slow progress and constant stoppages make the passage
+through it a little wearisome, but on a first voyage its shores are most
+interesting. On one side are several inland seas, and small collections
+of the most wretched and impossible looking habitations that human
+beings ever inhabited, with an occasional oasis of tall green palm
+trees. From the east bank the desert stretches away apparently into
+infinity.
+
+I was disappointed in the desert, though I hardly know what I expected;
+I suppose the very emptiness and immensity detract from its
+impressiveness; the human eye and mind cannot grasp them. We saw several
+mirages and felt quite pleased with ourselves, though unconvinced that
+they were not really oases in the desert; they were so very distinct.
+
+Some of the glimpses of native life on the banks were very amusing. At
+one spot we met a camel, smiling the foolish irritating smile which is a
+camel's characteristic, speeding away at an inelegant trot, and
+distantly pursued by the owner and his friends; alas! we could not see
+the end of the race. Camels, I was told, are unwearying beasts, so
+perhaps, like "Charley's Aunt" this one is still running.
+
+We were greatly excited by one incident. A Dutch steamer passed us, and
+we noticed on the deck a very pretty girl, evidently very much admired
+by all the crew, and especially by one tall fine looking fellow who
+seemed on very good terms with her. Shortly after the boat had passed, a
+small steam launch hove into sight, on board of which were several men,
+mostly Turkish officials. As they passed, the skipper of the launch
+shouted various questions, and we gathered that "Mademoiselle" had run
+away and they were in pursuit. Whether it was an elopement or merely an
+escape from justice we never learned, but most of us adopted the former
+view, and hoped that the guilty steamer would be out of the canal and
+safe from pursuit, before the fussy little launch overtook it.
+
+We had a gorgeous sunset that night in the canal. The sky, every
+conceivable shade of yellow, violet and crimson, was reflected in the
+still waters of the canal and inland seas. The tall palm trees rose
+darkest green against the brilliant sky, while the sand of the desert
+glowed golden and salmon pink, fading in the distance to the palest
+green; and all the colours were softened by a shadowy blue haze. I have
+never seen more wonderful colouring.
+
+After passing Aden we steamed uninterruptedly for ten days with but
+occasional glimpses of land; we had perfect weather, and the beauty of
+everything was almost overpowering.
+
+I know not which hour of the day was the most exquisite: the early
+morning, with the sun rising, a ball of fire, out of the sea, making
+golden paths across the water, and the distant land blushing rosy red,
+as it peered through the hazy blue curtains which o'erhung it; or the
+full noonday, with the deep blue sky and the deep blue sea fading
+together in a pale blue mist, till the world seems changed to a blue
+ball, and we the only living things within it; or the evening, when the
+western sky turned crimson and violet, and the sun, looking strangely
+oval, went down into the sea behind a transparent green haze, while in
+the east the crescent moon sailed silver in the blue-black sky; or the
+night, when one lay alone on the upper deck, fanned by the soft night
+breeze, soothed by the monotonous swish of the water, looking into the
+unmeasured heights of the star-bespangled heavens or the impenetrable
+depths of the waters beneath, where "there is neither speech nor
+language: but their voices are heard among them," and the glory of God
+is shown forth night and day.
+
+We had a fancy dress ball in the Red Sea: I suppose this is usual. Ours
+was noted for the number of Japanese present. At least, I believe they
+were intended to represent Japanese (the costumes had been bought at
+Port Said as such), but as they were dressed chiefly in European evening
+dress, partially covered by a flimsy Japanese dressing-gown, their
+appearance was unique.
+
+I suffered a great deal on that occasion. I was a peasant, and as is
+the custom of fancy dress peasants all the world over, I wore my hair in
+a long plait down my back.
+
+When my first partner approached I looked up at him in the usual polite
+and pleasing manner; he then seized my waist, plait included, in a firm
+grip and we danced off together, I with my head forcibly fixed at an
+angle such as is usually adopted by pictured good choir boys or "Souls
+awakening." I endured it for a short time; but then I began to get a
+stiff neck, and was obliged at last to ask my partner not to pull my
+hair. Alas! he was a sensitively shy youth, and was so embarrassed at my
+request that I felt I had committed an unpardonable fault.
+
+But I did not learn by experience: the same thing occurred with all my
+partners, and as, after the first unfortunate attempt I did not like to
+complain again, the agonies I suffered from the crick in my neck next
+day can better be imagined than described.
+
+We stayed two days in Ceylon, but all attempts to describe this "Garden
+of Eden" are futile. No one, who has not seen it, can hope to realise
+the wonderful colouring of the place; the red roads, the red and white
+houses, deep blue sky, and deep blue lakes; the brilliant dresses of the
+natives, the large flaming red and blue flowers, the wonderful green of
+the palms and other tropical plants, and above all, the beauty of that
+long line of open coast, the great breakers glittering with a thousand
+opal tints in the sunlight, and beyond them the dark blue ocean,
+delicately flecked with shimmering white spray, stretching away into the
+shadowy distance, "farther than sight can follow, farther than soul can
+reach."
+
+We drove through the Cinnamon gardens, where the still air was heavy
+with the delicious scent, and out to Mount Lavinia, where, of course, we
+ate prawn curry. Honestly, I must confess that never before have I
+tasted anything so truly horrible; but I pretended to like it immensely.
+I suppose everybody does the same when first introduced to this
+celebrated dish: it is what might be called "an accrued taste."
+
+I don't think the author of "From Greenland's Icy Mountains" can ever
+have touched at Ceylon, or how could he have declared that "man is
+vile"? The Singalese are the most beautiful people I have ever beheld,
+while the European inhabitants are surely the most hospitable and
+delightful in the world.
+
+Perhaps, when the poet wrote those lines, he had the Turkish traders in
+his mind: they certainly are vile. One of them sold me a sixpenny
+bracelet for ten shillings. They are exactly like the spider of noted
+memory; they stand at the doors of their fascinating, dark, poky little
+shops, persuading innocent passers by to enter, "only to look round;"
+but if the poor victim once venture to "walk into their parlour," he
+will be indeed clever if he escape without emptying his purse.
+
+"Rickshaws" are charming; I spent every spare minute riding about in
+one. It is almost as adventurous and exciting as driving in a
+Marseilles Fiacre, and far more comfortable. I feared I had met with an
+adventure one day, for my "puller" (I don't know what else to call him)
+ran away with me, and stopping in a lonely road, began to assure me that
+I was a "handsome lady." I wondered what would happen next, but soon
+discovered that he only wanted "Backsheesh," and assuming my very
+sternest demeanour I repeated "don't bus" ("bus" to stop, being the only
+word of the language I could remember) several times, and at last
+induced him to take me back to my companions. What a valuable thing is
+presence of mind on such an occasion!
+
+It was shortly after leaving Ceylon that our first real adventure befell
+us. We had all retired early to bed, being weary with the long day on
+shore; the clatter of tongues and tramp of feet on deck had ceased, and
+all was silent save for the throbbing of the engines, and the quiet
+movements of the men on watch.
+
+Suddenly I was awakened by a hurried murmur of voices in the next cabin,
+then an electric bell rang and I was terrified to hear the cry: "Fire!
+Fire!"
+
+I sprang up, flung on a cloak, and rushed out into the "Alley Way,"
+which speedily became the scene of the wildest confusion.
+
+All the cabin doors opened, and the occupants hurried confusedly out,
+arrayed in the first garments that came to hand, asking eager questions,
+and giving wild explanations.
+
+Brave men, anxious to be of use, snatched children from their mothers'
+arms, while the distracted mothers, having but a vague notion as to what
+was happening, supposed the boat to have been boarded by pirates or
+kidnappers, and fought fiercely to regain possession of their infants.
+
+Those who prided themselves on their presence of mind, ran up and down
+with small water bottles to fling on the flames, or tried to organise a
+bucket line. Others endeavoured to tie as many life-belts as possible to
+themselves and their friends, fastening them to any part of their
+persons most easily convenient.
+
+One matter-of-fact old lady began to collect cloaks, biscuits, and
+valuables from her trunk, preparatory to being cast ashore on a desert
+island, while another proceeded to wrap herself from head to foot in
+blankets, having heard that these offer a good resistance to the spread
+of the flames. Some were too terrified to do aught but scream, but the
+majority were full of self-sacrifice and bravery, and fell over, and
+interfered with one another woefully, in their endeavour to be of
+assistance to whomsoever might require their services.
+
+Meanwhile the original causes of the alarm--two girls who shared the
+cabin next to mine--did not for an instant cease their efforts. One,
+with a fortitude worthy of Casabianca himself, stood firmly with a
+finger pressed upon the button of the electric bell, determined to die
+rather than leave her post, while the other fought her way wildly up the
+passage, turning a deaf ear to all questions, and merely continuing to
+reiterate her cry of: "Fire! Steward! Fire!"
+
+At length (I suppose, in reality, in about three minutes after the
+first alarm, but it seemed a far longer time) a sleepy and much
+astonished steward appeared, and as soon as he could make himself heard,
+demanded the cause of the uproar. When eagerly assured that the deck was
+on fire over our heads, that in five minutes we should all be cinders
+unless we instantly took to the boats, and that the whole affair was a
+disgrace to the Company, and the "Times" should be written to if the
+speaker (an irascible "Globe trotter") survived the disaster, the
+steward stolidly denied the existence of any fire at all and
+explanations ensued.
+
+It was then discovered that signal rockets had been sent up from the
+deck to a signal station we were passing, and some of the sparks having
+blown into the porthole of the girls' cabin, the occupants had concluded
+that the deck was on fire, and had given the alarm.
+
+It took some time to make the fact of the mistake clear to everyone, but
+the steward at last succeeded in allaying all fears, and we returned to
+our cabins, feeling indignant and somewhat foolish, and perhaps a little
+disappointed (now that the danger was over) that our adventure had
+turned out so tamely.
+
+On the following morning the Captain organised an imposing ceremony on
+the upper deck, and solemnly presented two sham medals to the heroines
+of the preceding night's adventure, thanking them for their presence of
+mind, and noble efforts to save the burning ship!
+
+The remainder of the voyage passed without incident, and we arrived
+safely at our destination about six o'clock one lovely Friday morning.
+The sun was just rising as we sailed up the river, tinting the brown
+water and the green banks of the Irrawaddy with a rosy light. Rangoon, a
+vast collection of brown and white houses, mills, towers, chimneys, and
+cupolas, in a nest of green, showed faintly through the blue haze; and
+rising high above a grove of waving dark green palm trees, glittered the
+golden dome of a pagoda, the first object clearly distinguishable on
+shore, to welcome us to this country so rightly termed "The Land of
+Pagodas."
+
+[Illustration: Decoration]
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+RANGOON.
+
+     "Oh! the Land of Pagodas and Paddy fields green,
+           Is Burmah, dear Burmah you know."
+
+
+This is not a book on "Burmah," but an account of my impressions of
+Burmah; therefore, for all matters concerning which I had no original
+impressions, such as its history, its public buildings, the scenery, the
+life and condition of the natives, its resources, and its future, I
+refer both the gentle and ungentle reader to the many books on the
+subject which have appeared during the past few years.
+
+My first and last impression of Rangoon was heat. Not ordinary honest,
+hot, heat, such as one meets with at Marseilles or in the heart of the
+desert, wherever that may be; not even a stuffy heat, such as one
+encounters in church, but a damp, clinging, unstable sort of heat, which
+makes one long for a bath, if it were not too much trouble to get into
+it.
+
+I remember in my youth placing one of my sister's wax dolls (mine were
+all wooden, as I was of a destructive nature) to sit before the fire one
+cold winter's day; I remember dollie was somewhat disfigured ever
+afterwards.
+
+The remembrance of that doll haunted me during my stay in Rangoon; I
+felt I could deeply sympathise with, and thoroughly understand her
+feelings on that occasion; and for the first two or three hours,
+remembering the effect the heat had upon her appearance, I found myself
+frequently feeling my features to discover whether they still retained
+their original form and beauty. But after a few hours I became resigned;
+all I desired was to melt away quickly and quietly, and have done with
+it.
+
+At first I looked upon the "Punkah" as a nuisance, its unceasing
+movement irritated me, it ruffled my hair, and I invariably bumped my
+head against it on rising. But after enduring one long Punkahless
+half-hour, I came to look on it as the one thing that made life
+bearable, and the "Punkah-wallah" as the greatest benefactor of
+mankind.
+
+
+In the early mornings and evenings I became, hardly cooler, but what
+might be described as firmer, and it was at these times that the
+wonderful sights of Rangoon were displayed to my admiring gaze.
+
+
+I saw the celebrated "Schwee Dagon Pagoda" with its magnificent towering
+golden dome, surmounted by the beautiful gold and jewelled "Htee;" the
+innumerable shrines, images, cupolas, and pagodas at its base, the
+curious mixture of tawdry decorations and wonderful wood carvings
+everywhere visible, and the exquisite blending and intermingling of
+colours in the bright dresses of the natives, who crowd daily to offer
+their gifts at this most holy shrine. It is quite futile to attempt
+description of such a place; words cannot depict form and colour
+satisfactorily, least of all convey to those who have not themselves
+beheld it, a conception of the imposing beauty of this world famed
+Pagoda.
+
+The Burmese are a most devout people; the great flight of steps leading
+to the Pagoda is worn by the tread of many feet, and every day the place
+is crowded with worshippers.
+
+They begin young. I saw one wee baby, scarcely more than a year old,
+brought by his father to learn to make his offering at the shrine of
+Buddha. The father with difficulty balanced the little fellow in a
+kneeling position before a shrine, with the tiny brown hands raised in a
+supplicating attitude, and then retired a few steps to watch. Instantly
+the baby overbalanced and toppled forward on its face. He was picked up
+and placed in his former position, only to tumble down again when left.
+This performance was repeated about five times; the father never seemed
+to notice the humour of the situation--the baby certainly did not.
+
+One of the most interesting sights of Rangoon is that of the elephants.
+Ostensibly their work is to pile timber ready for embarkation on the
+river, but evidently they consider that they exist and work in order to
+be admired by all who pay them a visit.
+
+And well they deserve admiration! They go about their duties in a
+stately, leisurely manner, lifting the logs with trunk, tusks, and
+forefeet; piling them up with a push here, a pull there, and then
+marching to the end of the pile and contemplating the result with their
+heads on one side, to see if all are straight and firm. And they do all
+in such a stately, royal manner, that they give an air of dignity to the
+menial work, and one comes away with the feeling that to pile teak side
+by side with an elephant would be an honour worth living for.
+
+During my peregrinations round the town I was taken to see the home of
+the Indian Civilian, a huge imposing building, with such an air of
+awe-inspiring importance about every stick and stone, that none save
+those initiated into the secrets of the place, may enter without feeling
+deeply honoured by the permission to do so. Even a "Bombay Burman" could
+hardly approach, without losing some of his natural hardihood.
+
+[Illustration: ELEPHANT MOVING TIMBER]
+
+It may have been the awe with which this building inspired me, it may
+have been my visit to the Pagoda, with its air of mysticism and unknown
+possibilities, but when I retired to my large dimly lighted bed-room
+after my first day's wanderings in Rangoon, my natural courage forsook
+me, and I became the prey to a fit of appalling terrors.
+
+All the ghostly stories I had ever read of the spiritualism of the East,
+of the mystic powers of "Thugs," "Vampires" and other unpleasant beings,
+returned to my mind.
+
+For some time I could not sleep, and when at last I did sink into an
+uneasy doze I was haunted by nightmares of ghostly apparitions, and
+powerful and revengeful images of Gaudama.
+
+Suddenly I awoke with the feeling that something, I knew not what, had
+roused me from my uneasy slumber. And then, as I lay trembling and
+listening, out of darkness came a Voice, weird, uncanny, which exclaimed
+in solemn tones the mystic word "Tuctoo."
+
+What could it be? Was I one destined to learn deep secrets of the
+mystic world? Had the spirit, if spirit it were, some great truth to
+make known to me? if so, what a pity it did not speak English!
+
+"Tuctoo" remarked the voice again, this time rather impatiently.
+
+I racked my brains to think of a possible meaning for this mysterious
+word, but all in vain, I could understand nothing.
+
+"Tuctoo, tuctoo, tuctoo," it continued.
+
+And then, out of the darkness came another voice, an angry English
+voice, loud in its righteous indignation, the voice of my host.
+
+"Shut up you beast," he cried, and perhaps he added one or two more
+words suited to the occasion. I lay down and tried to pretend that I had
+not been frightened, and in doing so, fell asleep. I was introduced to
+the "Tuctoo" next day, but did not consider him a pleasant acquaintance.
+He is a lizard about a foot long, with a large red mouth, and a long
+wriggling tail; he reminded me of a baby alligator. He dwells on the
+inner walls of houses, and his presence in a house is supposed to bring
+good luck, but his tiresome habit of "tuctooing" in a most human voice
+at all hours of the day or night make him rather unpopular. We chased
+him down the wall with a long "Shan" spear and caught him in a towel,
+but he looked so very pugnacious that we did not detain him from his
+business.
+
+Of course the most important element of life in Rangoon, in fact in all
+Burmah, is the Gymkhana.
+
+Apparently, the European population in Rangoon exists solely in order to
+go to the Gymkhana. It attracts like a magnet. People may not intend to
+go there when they set out, but no matter how far afield they go, sooner
+or later in the evening they are bound to appear at the Gymkhana. If
+they did not go there in the daytime they would inevitably walk there in
+their sleep.
+
+This renowned Gymkhana is situate in the Halpin Road (pronounced
+"Hairpin," which is confusing to the uninitiated) and is a large, open,
+much verandaed, wooden building. Of the lower story, sacred to the male
+sex, I caught only a hurried glimpse in passing, and the impression left
+on my mind was a confusion of long men, reclining in long chairs, with
+long drinks.
+
+On my first visit to the upper regions, I fancied myself in a private
+lunatic asylum, for there, in a large room built for the purpose, were
+numbers of men and women, to all other appearances perfectly sane,
+waltzing round and round to the inspiriting music of the military band;
+dancing, in ordinary afternoon attire, not languidly, but vigorously and
+enthusiastically, and that in a temperature such as Shadrach, Meshech
+and Abednego never dreamed of.
+
+But I soon discovered that there was method in this madness, for the
+heat, when dancing, was so unspeakably awful that to sit still seemed
+quite cool in contrast, and it was worth the sufferings of the dance to
+feel cool afterwards, if only in imagination.
+
+In another room of the Gymkhana the ladies assemble to read their
+favourite magazines, or to glower from afar upon the early birds who
+have already appropriated them.
+
+And here I must pause to say a word in deprecation of the accusations
+of gossip and scandal, which are so frequently launched against the
+Anglo-Indian ladies. Not that I would for the world deny the existence
+of scandal, but what I wish to emphasise is, that the Anglo-Indians (at
+least those of the female sex) do not invent or repeat scandalous
+stories from pure love of the thing, nor from any desire to injure the
+characters of their neighbours. They are forced to do so by
+circumstances.
+
+For example, Mrs. A. arrives early at the Gymkhana, appropriates the
+newly arrived number of the "Gentlewoman," and seating herself
+comfortably in a good light, sets to work to read the paper from
+beginning to end.
+
+But soon Mrs. B. appears upon the scene, and alas! Mrs. B. has also come
+to the Gymkhana with the intention of reading from beginning to end the
+newly arrived number of the "Gentlewoman"; and, being human, Mrs. B., on
+finding her favourite paper already appropriated, is filled with a
+distaste for all other papers, and a consuming desire to read "The
+Gentlewoman," and "The Gentlewoman" only. If she cannot procure the
+paper right speedily, life holds no more happiness for her.
+
+But alas, Mrs. A. shows no intention of relinquishing her possession of
+the paper for many hours. In vain does Mrs. B. spread "Punch,"
+"Graphic," or "Sketch," temptingly before Mrs. A's abstracted eyes, she
+is not to be influenced by honest means. Then Mrs. B. has only one
+course left to her, and adopts it.
+
+First she seeks and obtains an assistant to the scheme, Mrs. C. The two
+ladies then draw near Mrs. A. (who tightens her hold on the paper as
+they approach) and seat themselves on either side of their victim.
+
+Mrs. C., assuming an expression of sweet innocence, entirely disguising
+the craft of her intentions, pretends to be deeply interested in last
+week's "Gazette," hoping thereby to demonstrate her lack of interest in
+fashion papers; Mrs. B. entices Mrs. A. into conversation.
+
+After a few desultory remarks, during which the aggressor still clings
+to her prey, Mrs. B., throwing a warning glance at Mrs. C. to prepare
+her, says in a voice fraught with deep mystery:
+
+"Were you not astonished to hear of so and so's engagement last week?"
+
+No, Mrs. A. was not particularly astonished.
+
+But surely Mrs. A. had heard that strange story about so and so's
+behaviour towards somebody else?
+
+Curious, Mrs. A. had not heard of it.
+
+Of course Mrs. B. would not mention it to anyone else, but Mrs. A., as
+every one knows, can be trusted, and really it was so strange.
+
+Then calling to her aid all her powers of imagination, Mrs. B. proceeds
+to relate some astounding invention concerning so and so. Gradually, as
+she becomes more interested in the recital, Mrs. A's. fingers relax
+their hold on the precious paper, and at last it is dropped, forgotten,
+upon the table.
+
+Now it is Mrs. C's. turn. In the most careless manner she draws the
+"Gentlewoman" slowly towards her, until it is out of reach of Mrs. A.,
+when she snatches it up eagerly, and retires to another table, where she
+is soon joined by the triumphant Mrs. B.
+
+Then poor Mrs. A., deprived of her newspaper must needs seek another
+one, but alas? they are all in use. Nothing remains for her to do but to
+imitate Mrs. B's conduct, and attract Mrs. D's attention from the paper
+she is reading, by repeating to her the story she has just heard, adding
+whatever new details may appear to her as most likely to arouse Mrs.
+D's. interest. And so the snowball grows.
+
+Thus it will be clear to all that the accusations are unfair, seeing
+that the gossip indulged in by the ladies at the Gymkhana is merely the
+outcome of circumstances, inventions being notoriously the children of
+necessity. It is obvious that were each lady in Burmah provided with
+every magazine and paper that her heart could desire, gossip would
+speedily cease to exist,--in the Ladies' Clubs.
+
+The most extraordinary vehicle that ever existed is the Rangoon "ticca
+gharry." For inconvenience, discomfort, and danger, it has never been
+surpassed. It has been excellently described as "a wooden packing case
+on wheels." I suppose it is a distant and unfashionable relation of the
+modern four wheeler, with wooden shutters in place of windows; very
+narrow, noisy, and uncomfortable. It is usually drawn by a long-tailed,
+ungroomed and brainless Burman pony, and is driven by one of the most
+extraordinary race of men that ever existed.
+
+The "Gharry Wallah's" appearance--but it is scarce meet to describe his
+appearance to the gentle reader; we will say his appearance is unusual.
+His mind and character have gained him his well earned right to be
+counted among the eccentricities of the age. He is sublime in his utter
+indifference to the world at large, in the cheerful manner in which he
+will drive, through, into, or over anything he happens to meet.
+
+But his most noted characteristic is utter indifference to the wishes
+of his "fare."
+
+I have often wondered what are the secret workings of the "Gharry
+Wallah's" mind. He cannot imagine, (no man, intelligent or otherwise,
+could imagine) that a human being drives in a "gharry" for the pure
+enjoyment of the thing; and yet he never seems to consider that his
+"fare" may desire to go to any particular destination. 'Tis vain to
+explain at great length, and with many forcible gestures, where one
+wishes to go; "he hears but heeds it not." The instant one enters the
+vehicle he begins to drive at a great rate in whatever direction first
+comes into his mind. He continues to drive in that direction until
+stopped, when he cheerfully turns round and drives another way, any way
+but the right one.
+
+No one has yet discovered where he would eventually drive to; many have
+had the curiosity but none the fortitude to undertake original research
+into the matter.
+
+It is presumed that, unless stopped, he would drive straight on till he
+died of starvation.
+
+Occasionally, by a judicious waving of umbrellas it may be possible to
+direct his course, but that only in the case of a very young driver. I
+have sometimes wondered whether perchance the pony may be the sinner,
+and the driver merely an innocent and unwilling accomplice. I cannot
+tell.
+
+But this I can say, if you crave for danger, if you seek penance, drive
+in a "ticca gharry," but if you desire to reach any particular
+destination in this century, don't.
+
+With the exception of a few leisure hours spent at the Gymkhana, the
+ladies of Rangoon devote their time and energy to writing "Chits."
+
+At first I was filled with a great wonder as to what might be the nature
+of these mysterious "Chits." I would be sitting peacefully talking with
+my hostess in the morning, when suddenly, a look of supreme unrest and
+anxiety comes over her face: "Excuse me, a moment" she exclaims, "I must
+just go and write a chit."
+
+She then hastens to her writing table, rapidly scribbles a few words,
+gives the paper to a servant, and then returns to me with an expression
+of relief and contentment.
+
+But scarce five minutes have elapsed, ere the look of anxiety again
+returns; again she writes a "chit," and again becomes relieved and
+cheerful, and so on throughout the day.
+
+And this, I discovered was the case with nearly every European lady in
+the country. I suppose it must be some malady engendered by the climate,
+only to be relieved by the incessant inditing of "chits." I myself never
+suffered from the ailment, but should doubtless have fallen a victim had
+I remained longer in the country.
+
+The contents and destination of these "chits" seem to be of little or no
+importance; so long as notes be written and despatched at intervals of
+ten minutes or so during the day, that is sufficient. What finally
+becomes of these "chits" I cannot pretend to say; whether they are
+merely taken away and burnt, or whether they have some place in the
+scheme of creation, I never discovered.
+
+Nor do I know whether the male population suffers from the same malady.
+Does the Indian Civilian, seated in his luxurious chamber in that
+awe-inspiring building of his, does he too spend his life in writing
+"chits"? Does the "Bombay Burman," in some far off jungle, "alone with
+nature undisturbed," does he too sit down 'neath the shade of the
+feathery bamboo, or the all embracing Peepul tree, and write and
+despatch "chits" to imaginary people, in imaginary houses, in an
+imaginary town?
+
+I know not, it is futile to speculate further upon the matter. The
+mystery of "chit" writing is too deep for me.
+
+I would gladly have remained longer in Rangoon, but it might not be.
+Mine was no mere visit of pleasure; I had travelled to Burmah in search
+of adventure, such as is scarcely to be met with in the garden party,
+dinner party, and dance life of Rangoon. And so, one hot afternoon, with
+anxious beating heart, I said "Good bye" to security and civilisation,
+and set forth on my journey to Mandalay!
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+THE ROAD TO MANDALAY.
+
+     "I travelled among unknown men,
+         In lands beyond the Sea."--(Wordsworth).
+
+
+     "Where the tints of the earth, and the hues of the sky,
+     In colour tho' varied, in beauty may vie."--(Byron).
+
+
+The distance by rail from Rangoon to Mandalay is 386 miles, and it takes
+twenty-two hours to accomplish the journey. Trains, like everything else
+in this leisurely country, are not given to hurrying themselves. "Hasti,
+hasti, always go hasti" is the motto for Burmah. As an example of the
+unintelligible nature of the language I may explain that "Hasti" means
+"slow!"
+
+It is a pleasant journey however, for the carriages are most
+comfortable, and the scenery through which the rail passes affords
+plenty of interest to a new comer.
+
+I enjoyed my journey, therefore, immensely. I left Rangoon about five
+o'clock in the afternoon, well provided with books, fruit and chocolates
+for the journey, and under the protection of a hideous Madrassee Ayah.
+
+I believe she was in reality a worthy old creature, but she was so
+exceedingly ugly, so very unintelligible (though most persistent in her
+efforts at conversation) and so intolerably stupid, that I could not
+feel much affection for her, and I only consented to put up with her
+company as a protection against the thieves who haunt the various
+halting places along the line, ready to steal into carriages and carry
+away all the portable property of the traveller. I had heard such blood
+curdling stories of these train thieves that I should have felt quite
+nervous about undertaking the journey, had I not fortunately disbelieved
+them.
+
+I do not for an instant believe my ayah would have been any real
+protection, for whenever we stopped she was seized with an overpowering
+hunger, and spent all her time bargaining with the vendors of bananas,
+huge red prawns, decayed fish, dried fruits, cakes, and other horrible
+articles, who swarmed upon the stations.
+
+These delicacies, and others which she prevailed upon my tender heart
+to buy for her, she wrapped up in a large red pocket handkerchief, and
+hid under the seat; what was their final fate I cannot pretend to say,
+but for her sake I trust she didn't eat them.
+
+She was a much travelled lady and had visited many of the towns along
+the route, and persisted in waking me up at all odd hours of the night,
+to point out the houses where her various Mem-Sahibs had lived, or the
+bungalows inhabited by the commissioners, matters in which I was not at
+all interested.
+
+She kept me awake with long rambling stories about her many relations,
+stories which, as they were told in the most vague and unintelligible
+"pigeon English" I found it very difficult to understand, but the gist
+of all was that she was very old and very poor, and she was sure I was a
+very kind and generous "Missie," and would not fail to reward her
+handsomely for her services.
+
+I failed to discover what these same services might be, for beyond
+fanning me vigorously when I did not require it, and at three o'clock in
+the morning procuring me from somewhere an unpleasant mixture she called
+coffee, and which I was obliged to throw secretly out of the window, she
+did nothing except talk. I suppose she was really no worse than the rest
+of her tribe, and cannot be blamed for getting as much as she could out
+of her exceedingly innocent and easily humbugged "missie."
+
+At the first station at which we stopped, I was much astonished to see
+all the natives on the platform come and kneel down in the humblest
+manner round the door of my carriage, and remain there "shekkohing" and
+pouring forth polite speeches in Burmese, until our train left the
+station.
+
+I have never been backward in my high opinion of my own importance, but
+I hardly expected the fame of my presence to have spread to this distant
+land, and felt considerably embarrassed, though, of course, highly
+gratified, by such unexpected tokens of respect.
+
+I received these attentions at every station with the most royal bows
+and smiles, until at last, on dismounting from the train at the dining
+station, I discovered that the carriage next to mine was occupied by a
+noble Shan Chief and his retinue, and it was to him, not to my
+insignificant person, that all this homage was paid. I felt quite
+annoyed at the discovery. He was really such a hideous, yellow, dirty
+old man, and he sat at the window, surrounded by his wives and
+attendants, smoking grumpily, and paying not the least attention to the
+flattering speech of his admirers, who must have been far more gratified
+by my gracious condescension.
+
+The chief stared at me a great deal when I passed his window to re-enter
+my carriage, and shortly after the train was again set in motion he sent
+one of his wives to inspect me, possibly with a view to offering me a
+position among the number of his dusky spouses. She opened the door, and
+stared at me for some time, taking not the slightest notice of my
+requests that she would withdraw, until she had sufficiently examined
+me, when she retired as abruptly as she had appeared, and I lost no time
+in securing the door behind her.
+
+Evidently her report was not satisfactory, for I have heard no more of
+the episode. Possibly, she reported that I looked bad tempered; I
+certainly felt so!
+
+What a fascinating journey that was. During the first part of the route
+the country is less interesting, consisting merely of flat stretches of
+Paddy fields and low jungle scrub. But all this I passed through by
+night, when the soft moonlight lent a witching beauty to the scene.
+
+There is something so inexplicably beautiful about night in the east, so
+comparatively cool, so clear, so quiet, and yet so full of mysterious
+sound,
+
+
+     "A little noiseless noise among the leaves,
+     Born of the very sigh that silence heaves."
+
+
+The cloudless heavens sparkle with a myriad stars, the moonlight seems
+brighter and more golden than elsewhere, and the noisy, weary, worn old
+earth hides away her tinsel shams and gaudiness, which the cruel
+sunlight so pitilessly exposes, and appears grander and nobler under
+night's kindly sway.
+
+The scenery in Upper Burmah is exceedingly fine. The great rocky hills,
+each crowned with its pagoda, rise on all sides, stretching away into
+the distance till they become only blue shadows. Everywhere are groves
+of bananas and palm trees, forests of teak and bamboo, and vast tracks
+of jungle, attired in the gayest colours.
+
+The pagodas, mostly in a half-ruined condition, are far more numerous
+here than in Lower Burmah, and raise their white and golden heads from
+every towering cleft of rock, and every mossy grove. As we neared
+Mandalay we passed many groups of half-ruined shrines, images and
+pagodas, covered with moss and creeper, deserted by the human beings who
+erected them, and visited now only by the birds and other jungle folk,
+who build their nests and make their homes in the shade of the once
+gorgeous buildings. They look very picturesque, rising above the
+tangled undergrowth that surrounds them, but pitifully lonely.
+
+We stopped at a great number of stations en route. The platforms were
+always crowded with natives of every description, at all hours of the
+day and night, selling their wares, greeting their friends, or smoking
+contentedly, and viewing with complacency the busy scene.
+
+The natives of India, with their fierce sullen faces, frightened me; the
+cunning Chinese, ever ready to drive a hard bargain, amused but did not
+attract me; but the merry, friendly little Burmese were a continual
+delight.
+
+They swaggered up and down in their picturesque costumes, smoking their
+huge cheroots, the men regarding with self-satisfied and amused contempt
+the noisy chattering crowd of Madrassees and Chinese, the women
+coquetting in the most graceful and goodnatured way with everyone in
+turn. When they had paid their devoirs to the old chief, they would
+crowd round my carriage window offering their wares, taking either my
+consent or refusal to be a purchaser as the greatest joke, and laughing
+merrily at my vain attempts to understand them.
+
+I fell in love with them on the spot, they are such jolly people and
+such thorough gentlefolk.
+
+It was very interesting in the early morning to watch the signs of
+awakening life in the many Burmese villages through which we passed. To
+see the caravans of bullock carts or mules setting out on their journey
+to the neighbouring town, and the pretty little Burmese girls coquetting
+with their admirers as they carried water from the well, or chattering
+and whispering merrily together as they performed their toilet by the
+stream, decking their hair with flowers and ribbons, and donning their
+delicately coloured pink and green "tamehns."
+
+Here we met a procession of yellow-robed "hpoongyis" and their
+followers, marching through the village with their begging bowls, to
+give the villagers an opportunity of performing the meritorious duty of
+feeding them. There a procession of men, women, and children walking
+sedately towards a pagoda, with offerings of fruit or flowers; to
+contemplate the image of the mighty Gaudama, to hear the reading of the
+Word, and to meditate upon the Holy Life. Now we passed a group of
+little hpoongyi pupils with their shaven crowns and yellow robes,
+sitting solemnly round their teacher in the open-sided kyaung. Anon we
+passed a jovial crew of merrymakers in their most brilliantly coloured
+costumes, jogging along gaily behind their ambling bullocks, to some Pwe
+or Pagoda Feast, which they are already enjoying in anticipation.
+
+And the strange part of it all is that nowhere does one see sorrow,
+poverty, or suffering; outwardly at least, all is bright and happy. I
+suppose the Burman must have his troubles like other folk, but if so he
+hides them extremely well under a cheerful countenance. Surely in no
+other inhabited country could we travel so far without beholding some
+sign of misery.
+
+I think the great charm of Burmah lies in the happiness and brightness
+of its people; their merriment is infectious, and they make others
+happy by the mere sight of their contentment.
+
+We arrived at Mandalay about three o'clock in the afternoon. The last
+few hours of the journey were most unpleasantly hot, and I was very glad
+when we steamed into the station, and I saw my brother-in-law (who had
+descended from his "mountain heights" to meet me) waiting on the
+platform. The journey had been delightful in many ways, but after being
+twenty-two hours boxed up in a railway carriage with a chattering ayah,
+it was a great relief to reach one's destination at last.
+
+When I arrived in Mandalay I was filled with an overwhelming gratitude
+towards Mr. Rudyard Kipling for his poem on the subject.
+
+Rangoon, fascinating and interesting though it be, is yet chiefly an
+Anglo-Indian town, but Mandalay, though the Palace and Throne room have
+been converted into a club, though its Pagodas and shrines have been
+desecrated by the feet of the alien, and though its bazaar has become a
+warehouse for the sale of Birmingham and Manchester imitations, yet,
+spite of all, this former stronghold of the Kings of Burmah still
+retains its ancient charm.
+
+When first I experienced the fascination of this wonderful town, my
+feelings were too deep for expression, and I suffered as a soda water
+bottle must suffer, until the removal of the cork brings relief.
+Suddenly there flashed into my mind three lines of Mr. Kipling's poem,
+and as I wandered amid "them spicy garlic smells, the sunshine and the
+palm trees and the tinkly temple bells," I relieved my feelings by
+repeating those wonderfully descriptive lines; I was once again happy,
+and I vowed an eternal gratitude to the author.
+
+Before the end of my two days stay in Mandalay I began to look on him as
+my bitterest foe, and to regard the publication of that poem as a
+personal injury.
+
+The Hotel in which we stayed was also occupied by a party of American
+"Globe Trotters." In all probability they were delightful people, as
+are most of their countrymen. They were immensely popular among the
+native hawkers, who swarmed upon the door steps and verandahs, and sold
+them Manchester silks and glass rubies at enormous prices. But we
+acquired a deeply rooted objection to them, springing from their desire
+to live up to their surroundings.
+
+We should have forgiven them, had they confined themselves to eating
+Eastern fruits and curries, wearing flowing Burmese silken dressing
+gowns, and smattering their talk with Burmese and Hindustani words. But
+these things did not satisfy them. Evidently they believed that they
+could only satisfactorily demonstrate their complete association with
+their surroundings, by singing indefatigably, morning, noon, and night,
+that most un-Burmese song, "Mandalay."
+
+They sang it hour after hour, during the whole of the two days we spent
+in the place.
+
+In their bedrooms, and about the town they hummed and whistled it,
+during meals they quoted and recited it. At night, and when we took our
+afternoon siesta, they sang it boldly, accompanying one another on the
+cracked piano, and all joining in the chorus with a conscientious
+heartiness that did them credit.
+
+We tossed sleepless on our couches, wearied to death of this endless
+refrain that echoed through the house: or, if in a pause between the
+verses we fell asleep for a few seconds, it was only to dream of a
+confused mixture of "Moulmein Pagodas," flying elephants, and fishes
+piling teak, till we were once again awakened by the uninteresting and
+eternally reiterated information that "the dawn comes up like thunder
+out of China 'cross the Bay."
+
+The only relief we enjoyed, was that afforded by one member of the party
+who sang cheerfully: "On the Banks of Mandalay," thereby displaying a
+vagueness of detail regarding the geographical peculiarities of the
+place, which is so frequently (though no doubt wrongly) attributed to
+his nation.
+
+And here I pause with the uncomfortable feeling that in writing my
+experiences of Burmah, I ought to make some attempt to describe this
+far-famed city of Mandalay, the wonders of its palaces, the richness of
+its pagodas, the brilliancy of its silk bazaar, and its other thousand
+charms.
+
+But such a task is beyond me. Others may aspire to paint in glowing
+colours the fascinations of this royal town, and the beauty of the
+wonderful buildings; but in my modesty I refrain, for to my great regret
+I saw little of them. My stay in the town was too short, and I was too
+weary after my journey, to admit of much sight-seeing. Beyond a short
+drive through the delightful eastern streets, and a hurried glimpse of
+the Throne Room, I saw nothing of the place, and the only thing I
+clearly recollect is the Moat, which I admired immensely, mistaking it
+for the far-famed Irrawaddy!
+
+Therefore I will pass by Mandalay with that silent awe which we always
+extend to the Unknown, and leave it to cleverer pens than mine to depict
+its charms. "I cannot sing of that I do not know," especially nowadays
+when so many people _do_ know, and are quite ready to tell one so.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+THE JOURNEY TO THE HILLS.
+
+     "Old as the chicken that Kitmutgars bring
+     Men at dak bungalows,--old as the hills."
+                                    (Rudyard Kipling.)
+
+
+     The horse who never in that sort
+     Had handled been before,
+     What thing upon his back had got
+     Did wonder more and more.--"John Gilpin."
+
+
+We left Mandalay at half-past three in the morning, (our heavy baggage
+having preceded us in bullock carts the night before) and with our
+bedding and hand baggage packed with ourselves into a "ticca gharry," we
+started at that unearthly hour on our seventeen miles drive to the foot
+of the hills, where our ponies awaited us.
+
+As we left the last lights of the town behind us, and drove out into the
+dreary looking country beyond, I was filled with a mixture of elation
+and alarm, but when my brother-in-law (I knew not whether seriously or
+in fun) remarked that he hoped we should meet no dacoits, the feeling of
+alarm predominated.
+
+It would be an adventure, and I had come there purposely for adventure,
+but an adventure does not appear so fascinating in the dark at three
+o'clock in the morning, as it does at noonday. I was quite willing to
+have it postponed. However my companion seemed at home, and settled
+himself to sleep in his corner, so I endeavoured to do likewise.
+
+But somehow sleep seemed impossible. The shaking and rattling of the
+uncomfortable "gharry," the strange shadows of the trees, and the dark
+waste of paddy fields stretching before and around us, faintly showing
+in the mysterious grey light of the dawn, all combined to prevent me
+from following my brother's example.
+
+On and on we drove along that interminable road, cramped, weary, and
+impatient; I sat in silence with closed eyes, waiting longingly for the
+end of our journey, wondering what strange people inhabited this dreary
+tract of land, and dreaming of the possible adventures to be encountered
+in the wild country towards which we were travelling.
+
+Suddenly the gharry stopped abruptly; there was a loud cry from the
+gharry wallah, a confused medley of Burmese voices, and I sprang up to
+find we were surrounded by a large body of evil looking men, armed with
+"dahs." We were "held up" by dacoits!
+
+My brother started up, shouting eager threats and imprecations to the
+men, and sprang from the carriage. I caught a glimpse of him surrounded
+by natives, fighting fiercely with his back to the carriage door, while
+he shouted to me to hand him his revolver from the back seat of the
+gharry.
+
+But ere I could do so, my attention was called to the matter of my own
+safety. Three natives had come round to my side of the gharry, the door
+was wrenched open, and a huge native flourishing a large "dah" rushed at
+me, evidently with the intention of procuring the revolver himself.
+
+At that moment all feelings of fear left me, and I only felt furiously
+angry. Quickly I seized my large roll of bedding, and pulling it down
+before me received the blow in the folds; then when the knife was
+buried in the clothes, I crashed the revolver with all my force in the
+face of the dacoit, and he fell unconscious at my feet, leaving the
+"dah" in my possession.
+
+The remaining natives rushed at me, and I had no time to lose. Pulling
+down my brother's bedding roll, I doubled my defence, and from behind it
+endeavoured to stab at the attacking natives with the captured "dah,"
+dodging their blows behind my barricade. The door of the gharry was
+narrow, and they could only come at me one at a time.
+
+After playing "bo peep" over my blankets for a little time, they
+retired, and I was just turning to assist my brother, when suddenly,
+they rushed my defence, one behind the other, pushed over my barricade
+with me under it, fell on the top themselves, and we all rolled a
+confused heap on the bottom of the gharry.
+
+At that moment the man at the pony's head relaxed his hold on the
+bridle, and the animal, with a speed and energy unusual in Burmese
+ponies, escaped and galloped down the road, dragging behind it the
+battered gharry, on the floor of which I and the two natives were
+struggling.
+
+Faster and faster went the pony, till we seemed to be flying through the
+air, the door hanging open, and we three fighting for life inside. I
+made haste to crawl under a seat, and again barricaded myself with my
+bedding roll, but it was quite clear to me that the struggle could not
+last much longer; I was at my wit's end, and my strength was nearly
+exhausted.
+
+Then the natives climbed on to the seat opposite, and pulled and pushed
+my barricade, until at last I could hold it no longer. They dragged it
+away, and threw it from the gharry. My neck was seized between two slimy
+brown hands, I was pulled from my hiding place, a dark evil looking face
+peered gloatingly into mine, and then I suppose I lost consciousness,
+for I remember nothing more until----I awoke, and found we had arrived
+at the foot of the hills; not a dacoit had we encountered, and the whole
+affair had been only a dream.
+
+I was disappointed: I feel I shall never be so heroic again, or have
+such another opportunity for the display of my bravery.
+
+I cannot remember the name of the village at the foot of the hills where
+we found our ponies waiting, and I certainly could not spell it if I
+did. It consisted of a mere half a dozen native huts, set down by the
+road side, and looked a most deserted little place. While our ponies
+were saddled, and our baggage transferred from the gharry to the bullock
+cart in attendance, we walked round the village, very glad to stretch
+our legs after the cramped ride.
+
+All the natives stared at us, as they went leisurely about their daily
+work; the girls in their brightly coloured, graceful dresses, going
+slowly to the well, carrying their empty kerosene oil cans, the almost
+universal water pots of the Burman; the men lounging about, smoking big
+cheroots, and evidently lost in deep meditation; and the old women
+sitting in their low bamboo huts, grinding paddy, cooking untempting
+looking mixtures, or presiding over the sale of various dried fruits
+and other articles, for in Burmah there is rarely a house where
+something is not sold.
+
+On the whole, we on our part did not excite very much interest. It needs
+more than the advent of two strangers to rouse the contemplative Burman
+from his habitual state of dreaminess.
+
+In one hut I saw a family sitting round their meal, laughing and
+chatting merrily, while a wee baby, clad in gorgeous silk attire (it
+looked like the mother's best dress) danced before them in the funniest
+and most dignified manner, encouraged and coached by an elder sister,
+aged about seven. They looked such a merry party that I quite longed to
+join them, for I was beginning to feel hungry, but I changed my mind on
+a nearer view of the breakfast, a terrible mixture of rice and curried
+vegetables, with what looked remarkably like decayed fish for a relish.
+
+All this time, though outwardly calm and happy, I was inwardly suffering
+from ever increasing feelings of dread at the thought of the ordeal
+before me. As I have explained elsewhere, I have always had a terror of
+horses, and had not ridden for eleven years, not in fact since I was a
+child, and then I invariably fell off with or without any provocation.
+But here was I, with twenty-six miles of rough road between me and my
+destination, and no way of traversing that distance save on horseback.
+Knowing my peculiarities, my brother had begged the very quietest pony
+from the police lines at Mandalay, the animal bearing this reputation
+stood saddled before me, and I could think of no further excuse for
+longer delaying our start.
+
+Accordingly, I advanced nervously towards the pony, who looked at me out
+of the corners of his eyes in an inexplicable manner, and after three
+unsuccessful attempts, and much unwonted embracing of my brother, I at
+last succeeded in mounting, and the reins (an unnecessary number of them
+it seemed to me) were thrust into my hands.
+
+I announced myself quite comfortable and ready to start; may Heaven
+forgive the untruth! But evidently my steed was not prepared to depart.
+I "clucked" and shook the reins, and jumped up and down on the saddle in
+the most encouraging way, but the pony made no movement.
+
+My brother, already mounted and off, shouted to me to "come on." It was
+all very well to shout in that airy fashion, I couldn't well "come on"
+without the pony, and the pony wouldn't.
+
+At last he did begin to move, backwards!
+
+This was a circumstance for which I was wholly unprepared. If a horse
+runs away, naturally, he is to be stopped by pulling the reins, but if
+he runs away backwards, there seems nothing to be done; whipping only
+encourages him to run faster. I tried to turn the pony round, so that if
+he persisted in continuing to walk backwards, we might at any rate
+progress in the right direction, but he preferred not to turn, and I did
+not wish to insist, lest he should become annoyed; to annoy him at the
+very outset of the journey I felt would be the height of imprudence.
+
+The natives of the village gathered round, and with that wonderful
+capacity for innocent enjoyment for which the Burmese are noted, watched
+the performance with the deepest interest and delight, while I could do
+nothing but try to appear at ease, as though I really preferred to
+travel in that manner.
+
+At last however, my brother would wait no longer, and shouting to the
+orderly and sais, he made them seize the bridle of my wilful pony, and
+drag us both forcibly from the village.
+
+And so we started.
+
+Oh! that ride--what a nightmare it was! The pony justified his
+reputation, and was certainly the most quiet animal imaginable. He
+preferred not to move at all, but when forced to do so, the pace was
+such that a snail could easily have given him fifty yards start in a
+hundred, and a beating, without any particular exertion. He did not
+walk, he crawled.
+
+In vain did I encourage him in every language I knew, in vain did the
+sais and orderly ride behind beating him, or in front pulling him, our
+efforts were of no avail. Once or twice, under great persuasion, he
+broke into what faintly suggested a trot, for about two minutes, but
+speedily relapsed again into his former undignified crawl.
+
+My brother at last lost patience and rode on ahead, leaving me to the
+tender mercies of the sais, who, no longer under the eye of his master,
+and seeing no reason to hurry, soon ceased his efforts, and we jogged on
+every minute more slowly, till I fell into a sleepy trance, dreaming
+that I should continue thus for ever, riding slowly along through the
+silent Burmese jungle, wrapped in its heavy noon-day sleep, till I too
+should sink under the spell of the sleep god, and become part of the
+silence around me.
+
+But the scenery was glorious, and I had ample time to admire it. Our
+road wound up the side of a jungle clad hill, around and above us rose
+other hills covered with the gorgeous vari-coloured jungle trees and
+shrubs. Immediately below us lay a deep wooded ravine, shut in by the
+hills, and far away behind us stretched miles and miles of paddy fields
+and open country shrouded in a pale blue-grey mist. I cannot imagine
+grander scenery; what most nearly approach it are views in Saxon
+Switzerland, but the latter can be compared only as an engraving to a
+painting, the colour being lacking.
+
+What most impressed me was the absolute silence, and the utter absence
+of any sign of human life. All round us lay miles and miles of unbroken
+jungle, inhabited only by birds and beasts; all nature seemed silent,
+mysterious, and void of human sympathies as in the first days of the
+world, before man came to conquer, and in conquering to destroy the
+charm. It is impossible quite to realise this awe-inspiring loneliness
+of the jungle
+
+
+     "Where things that own not man's dominion dwell."
+     "And mortal foot hath ne'er or rarely been."
+
+
+We halted for breakfast at a small wayside village, where we found the
+usual mat "dak" bungalow, guarded by the usual extortionate khansamah,
+and surrounded by the usual dismal compound full of chickens.
+
+Here it was that I made my first acquaintance with the world renowned
+Burmese chicken, an acquaintance destined to become more and more close,
+until it blossomed into a deep and never to be forgotten hatred.
+
+The Burmese chicken, whose name is legion, is a thin haggard looking
+fowl, chiefly noted for his length of leg, and utter absence of
+superfluous flesh. He picks up a precarious living in the compounds of
+the houses to which he is attached, and leads a sad, anxious life, owing
+to the fact that he is generally recognised as the legitimate prey of
+any man or beast, who at any time of the day or night may be seized with
+a desire to "chivy."
+
+Consequently he wears a harassed, expectant look, knowing that the end
+will overtake him suddenly and without warning. One hour he is happily
+fighting with his comrades over a handful of grain, within the next he
+has been killed, cooked, and eaten without pity, though frequently with
+after feelings of repentance on the part of the eater.
+
+It is, doubtless, the kindly heart of the native cook that prevents him
+killing the bird more than half an hour before the remains are due at
+table; he does not wish to cut off a happy life sooner than is
+absolutely necessary. It is, doubtless too, the same gentle heart that
+induces him to single out for slaughter the most ancient of fowls,
+leaving the young and tender (if a Burmese chicken ever is tender) still
+to rejoice in their youth. If this be so, there is displayed a trait of
+native character deserving appreciation--which appreciation the result,
+however, fails as a rule to secure.
+
+It is wonderful what a variety of disguises a Burmese chicken can take
+upon itself. The quick change artist is nowhere in comparison.
+
+It appears successively as soup, joint, hash, rissoles, pie, patties and
+game. It is covered with rice, onions, and almonds, and raisins, and
+dubbed "pillau"; it is covered with cayenne pepper and called a savoury.
+It is roasted, boiled, baked, potted, and curried, and once I knew an
+enterprising housekeeper mix it with sardines and serve up a half truth
+in the shape of "fish cakes."
+
+But under whatever name it may appear, in whatever form it be disguised,
+it may be invariably recognised by the utter absence of any flavour
+whatever.
+
+After breakfast, my brother assumed his most stern judicial expression
+and gave me to understand gently but firmly, that he refused to continue
+our journey under existing circumstances, and that if I really could not
+induce my pony to progress faster, I must mount that of the orderly, and
+leave the laggard to be dealt with by a male hand. I could not object; I
+was alone in a distant land far from the protection of my family; I
+could only agree to the proposal with reluctance, and disclaim all
+responsibility with regard to my own or the new pony's safety.
+
+Accordingly, the saddles were changed, much to the dissatisfaction of
+the orderly, and I was speedily mounted on my new steed.
+
+At first the exchange appeared to be an improvement. The pony had a
+brisk walk, and we progressed quite as rapidly as I wished. I began to
+feel an accomplished horse-woman, and when my brother suggested a two
+miles canter, I consented after but a few objections.
+
+We started gaily, and we did canter two miles without a break, and the
+pony and I did not part company during the proceedings, but that is all
+I can say.
+
+I have frequently heard foolish people talk of the unspeakable joy of a
+wild gallop, the delightful motion, the exhilaration of rushing through
+the air, with a good horse beneath you. Once I listened to such talkers
+with credulity, now I listen in astonishment. Our gallop was wild enough
+in all conscience, but after the first three minutes I became convinced
+it was the most uncomfortable way of getting about I had ever
+experienced.
+
+I started elegantly enough, gripping my pummel tightly between my knees,
+and sitting bolt upright, but I soon gave up all ideas of putting on
+unnecessary "side" of that sort; this ride was no fancy exhibition, it
+was grim earnest.
+
+I and the pony were utterly out of sympathy with one another, and I am
+sure the latter did all he could to be tiresome out of pure
+"cussedness." Whenever I bumped down, he seemed to bump up, and the
+result was painful; whenever I pulled the reins he merely tossed his
+head scornfully; and I am sure the saddle must have been slipping about
+(though it appeared firm enough afterwards), for I landed on all parts
+of it in turn.
+
+To add to my troubles my sola topee became objectionable.
+
+It was not an ordinary looking topee; it being my first visit to the
+East, of course I had procured an exceedingly large one, and in addition
+to its great size, it was very heavy and very ugly. I fancy it was
+originally intended to be helmet shaped, but its maker had allowed his
+imagination to run away with him, and when finished, it was the most
+extraordinary looking headdress that ever spoilt the appearance of a
+naturally beautiful person.
+
+It resembled rather a swollen plum pudding in a very large dish, than a
+respectable sola topee.
+
+It was so constructed inside as to fit no existingly shaped human head,
+and consequently required to be balanced with the greatest care. By dint
+of sitting very upright I had succeeded in keeping it on my head during
+the earlier stages of my journey, but now I had more important matters
+to think of than sola topees, and consequently it became grievously
+offended, and (being abnormally sensitive, as are most deformed
+creatures) it commenced to wobble about in a most alarming manner.
+
+On and on we went. I had almost ceased to have any feeling in my legs
+and body, and began to wonder vaguely what strange person's head had got
+on to my shoulders, it seemed to fit so loosely. We flew past the second
+milestone, but my brother, who rode just ahead of me, absorbed no doubt
+in the joys of the gallop, never stayed his reckless course. I could not
+stop my pony, because both hands were, of course, engaged in holding on
+to the saddle. I lost my stirrup; it was never any good to me, but my
+foot felt lonely without it. My knees were cramped, my head ached, and
+finally my sola topee, unable longer to endure its undignified wobble,
+descended slowly over my face and hung there by its elastic, effectually
+blocking out everything from my sight.
+
+I would have infinitely preferred to have fallen off, but did not know
+how to do so comfortably.
+
+At last, with a mighty effort I crouched in the saddle, gingerly
+released one hand, pushed aside the topee from before my mouth, and
+yelled to my brother to stop. He turned, saw something unusual in my
+appearance, and, thank goodness! stopped.
+
+It could not have lasted much longer; either I or the pony would have
+been obliged to give way. When I indignantly explained to my brother
+what the pony had been doing, all he said was that he hoped to goodness
+I had not given it a sore back. I know its back could not have been a
+quarter as sore as was mine! I did not gallop again that or any other
+day.
+
+
+We spent the night in another "dak" bungalow, consisting of three mat
+walled sleeping apartments, scantily furnished, and an open veranda
+where we dined. We dined off chicken variously disguised, and being very
+stiff and weary, retired early to bed.
+
+During dinner, my brother casually remarked that on his last visit there
+he had killed a snake in the roof, and on retiring to my room I
+remembered his words and trembled.
+
+I don't know much about snakes, save only that a "king cobra" alone will
+attack without provocation; therefore, if one is attacked, the reptile
+is almost certain to be a snake of that species.
+
+What precautions should therefore be taken to defend one's life I have
+not ascertained, but I give the information as affording at any rate
+some satisfaction in case of attack.
+
+The roof of my room was thatched, and looked the very dwelling place of
+snakes, and how could I possibly defend myself from attack (supposing
+king cobras inhabited that district), when they might drop down on me
+while I slept, or come up through the chinks and holes in the wooden
+floor, and bite my feet when I was getting into bed? The situation was a
+desperate one. What was to be done?
+
+After half an hour, I was forced to abandon my plan of sitting up all
+night on the table, under my green sun-umbrella; the table was so
+rickety that I fell off whenever I dozed, and the situation became
+painful.
+
+At last a new plan occurred to me. I took a wild leap from the table to
+the bed, and succeeded in rigging up a tent with the mosquito curtain
+props, and a sheet. Then, secure from all dangers from below or above, I
+fell fast asleep, and awoke next morning to find myself still alive and
+unharmed.
+
+I am convinced that more than one cunning serpent that night returned
+foiled to its lair, having at last encountered a degree of cunning
+surpassing its own.
+
+We made an early start next morning, as we had still twelve miles to
+ride before the day grew hot.
+
+The orderly objected to ride further on a snail, and had put my saddle
+once more on my original pony, so I finished my ride without further
+mishap.
+
+It was a delicious morning; the early lights and shadows of dawn and
+sunrise enhanced the beauty of the richly coloured jungle bordering the
+road. On all sides we were surrounded by the tall, dark, waving trees,
+and the thick green, pink, golden, and red-brown under-growth, save
+occasionally when the close bushes were cleared a little, and we caught
+tempting glimpses of shady moss covered glades, chequered by the
+sunlight peering through the thick leaves. Everything was very still,
+and except for the soft whisper of the jungle grass, a great silence
+brooded over all.
+
+Suddenly there broke upon my ears a strange sound, weird, mystic,
+wonderful. It was a heavy, grating, creaking noise, more horrible than
+aught I had heard before. Nearer and nearer it came; and now it could be
+distinguished as the cry of some mighty beast in pain, for the first and
+fundamental noise was varied by shrill screams and deep, painful
+groans. Was it a wounded elephant? No! surely no living elephant ever
+gave voice to such terrible, awe-inspiring sounds. It must be some far
+mightier beast, some remnant of the prehistoric ages, which remained
+still to drag out a lonely existence, hidden from human eyes, in this
+far Burmese jungle.
+
+But now it was close upon us; the noise was deafening, making day
+hideous; round the corner of the road appeared four huge, horns, two
+meek looking white heads, and----a bullock cart.
+
+That was the sole cause of this hideous disturbance, of these
+ear-piercing shrieks which rent the air. As usual, the wheels of the
+cart were formed of solid circles of wood, not even rounded, and
+carefully unoiled, and from these emanated those horrible shrieks,
+groans, and creaks, which are the delight and security of the Burmese
+driver, and the terror of tigers and panthers haunting the road.
+
+How eminently peaceful must be the life of the bullock-cart driver! He
+knows no hurry, no anxiety, no responsibility.
+
+Hour after hour, day after day he jogs along, seated on the front of his
+cart, occasionally rousing himself to joke and gossip with friends he
+may meet on the way, or to encourage his team by means of his long
+bamboo stick, but more often he sits wrapped in a deep sleep, or
+meditation, trusting for guidance to the meek solemn-faced bullocks
+which he drives. His work is done, his life is passed in one long
+continuous, sleeping, smoking, and eating sort of existence; the thought
+of such a life of careless, uneventful, unambitious happiness, is
+appalling.
+
+[Illustration: BURMESE BULLOCK CART]
+
+I grew somewhat weary of the frequent opportunities I had of studying
+the bullock carts and their drivers during that morning ride. Every cart
+jogged on its noisy way along the very centre of the road; but it is not
+meet that a Sahib and a representative of the great Queen should occupy
+anything but the very centre of the road when taking his rides abroad.
+Consequently whenever we met a bullock cart both cavalcades had to stop.
+It was a work of time to make the driver hear the orderly's voice,
+above the creaking of the wheels; more time was occupied in rousing him
+from his sleep, and explaining to him the situation; and more time again
+in explaining matters to the bullocks, and inducing them to drag the
+cart into the ditch.
+
+It took five minutes to pass each cart, and as we met a great many that
+morning as we approached the village, our progress was considerably
+delayed. I should have preferred for the sake of speed to have ridden in
+the ditch myself; at the same time I am aware such opinions are unworthy
+of the relation of an Indian Civilian.
+
+
+My entrance into Remyo, the future scene of my experiences, at half-past
+ten that morning was striking, though hardly dignified.
+
+Picture to yourself a sorrowful, huddled figure, seated on a weary
+dishevelled looking pony, covered from head to foot with red dust, and
+surmounted by a large battered topee "tip-tilted like the petal of a
+flower." I had long ceased to make any pretence at riding. I sat
+sideways on my saddle, as one sits in an Irish car, grasping in one hand
+the pummel and in the other my large green sun umbrella, for the sun was
+terribly hot. How weary I was, and how overjoyed at arriving at my
+destination!
+
+But even yet my troubles were not over. There was the house, there my
+sister waiting in the veranda to welcome me, but directly my pony
+arrived at the gate of the compound he stopped dead. Apparently it was
+not in the bond that I should be carried up to the door, and so no
+further would he go. I was too impatient to argue the matter, too weary
+to give an exhibition of horsemanship, so there was nothing to do but
+descend, walk up the compound, and tumble undignifiedly into the house,
+where the first thing I did was to register a vow that never again,
+except in a case of life and death, would I attempt to ride a Burmese
+pony.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+AN UP-COUNTRY STATION.
+
+     "Far from the madding crowd's ignoble strife."--(Gray.)
+
+
+I daresay that Remyo is very like other small up-country stations in
+Burmah, but to me it appeared to be the very end of the earth, so
+different was it from all I had expected. It stands in a small valley,
+surrounded by low jungle-clad hills. The clearing is perhaps three miles
+long by one and-a-half wide, but there always appeared to be more jungle
+than clearing about the place, so quickly does the former spread.
+
+The Station is traversed crosswise by two rough tracks called by
+courtesy roads, and is surrounded by what is imposingly termed "The
+Circular Road." This road, but recently constructed, is six or seven
+miles long, and passes mostly outside the clearing, being consequently
+bordered in many places on both sides by thick jungle.
+
+There is something infinitely pathetic to my mind about this poor new
+road, wandering aimlessly in the jungle, leading nowhere and used by no
+one. At regular distances there stand by the wayside tall posts bearing
+numbers. The lonely posts mark the situations of houses which it is
+hoped will, in the future, be built on the allotments which they
+represent. In theory, the circular road is lined with houses, for Remyo
+has a great future before it; but just at present, the future is
+travelling faster than the station, and consequently the poor road is
+allowed to run sadly into the jungle alone, its course known only to the
+dismal representatives of these future houses.
+
+The only finished building near which this road passes is the railway
+station, a neat wooden erection, possessing all the requirements of a
+small wayside station, and lacking only one essential feature--a
+railway, for the railway, like the great future of Remyo, is late in
+arriving, and so the road and the railway station are left sitting sadly
+expectant in the jungle, waiting patiently for the arrival of that
+future which alone is needed to render them famous.
+
+In Remyo itself there is a fair sized native bazaar, consisting of rows
+of unpleasant looking mat huts, each raised a few feet from the ground,
+with sloping overhanging roofs, and open sides. The road through the
+bazaar is always very dusty, crowded with bullock carts, goats, and
+dogs, and usually alive with naked Burmese babies of every age and size.
+Not a pleasant resort on a hot day.
+
+Besides the bazaar, the station contains the Court House, the District
+Bungalow, and the Post Office; half-a-dozen European houses scattered up
+and down the clearing, and the club.
+
+To the Anglo-Indians the club seems as necessary to existence as the air
+they breathe. I verily believe that when the white man penetrates into
+the interior to found a colony, his first act is to clear a space and
+build a club house.
+
+The Club House at Remyo is a truly imposing looking edifice, perched
+high on the hill side, standing in a well kept compound, surrounded by
+its offices, bungalows, and stables. About the interior of the building
+I must confess ignorance, it being an unpardonable offence for any woman
+to cross the threshold. It may be that it is but a whited sepulchre, the
+exterior beautiful beyond description, the interior merely emptiness: I
+cannot tell.
+
+At the foot of the Club House stands a tiny, one-roomed, mat hut, the
+most unpretentious building I ever beheld, universally known by the
+imposing title of "The Ladies Club." Here two or more ladies of the
+station nightly assemble for an hour before dinner, to read the two
+months old magazines, to search vainly through the shelves of the
+"library" for a book they have not read more than three times, to
+discuss the iniquities of the native cook, and to pass votes of censure
+on the male sex for condemning them to such an insignificant building.
+
+It has always been a sore point with the ladies of Remyo that their Club
+House only contains one room. They argue that if half the members wish
+to play whist, and the other half wished to talk, many inconveniences
+(to say the least) would arise. As there are but four lady members of
+the club, this argument does not appear to me to be convincing, but I do
+not pretend to understand the intricacies of club life.
+
+I have sometimes been tempted to believe that the ladies would really be
+happier without a club; possessing one, they feel strongly the necessity
+of using it, and though they would doubtless prefer sometimes to sit
+comfortably at home, every evening sees them sally forth determinedly to
+their tiny hut. There they sit night after night till nearly dark, and
+then, not daring to disturb the lordly occupants of the big house, to
+demand protection, they steal home nervously along the jungle bordered
+road, trembling at every sound, but all the time talking and laughing
+cheerfully, in order to convince everybody (themselves in particular)
+that they are not at all afraid of meeting a panther or tiger, in fact
+would rather prefer to do so than not. Truly the precious club is not
+an unmixed blessing!
+
+There are a few wooden houses in Remyo, but the majority are merely
+built of matting, with over-hanging roofs. They are often raised some
+twenty feet above the ground, and present the extraordinary appearance
+of having grown out of their clothes like school boys.
+
+The house in which my sister and her husband lived was a wooden erection
+of unpretentious appearance. I cannot say who was the architect, but a
+careful consideration of the construction of the house revealed to us
+much of his method.
+
+In the first place he was evidently an advocate of the benefits of fresh
+air and light. The house was all doors and windows, not one of them,
+apparently, intended to shut, and not satisfied with this, the builder
+had carefully left wide chinks in the walls, and two or three large
+holes in the roof. The front door opened directly into the drawing-room,
+the drawing-room into the dining room, the dining-room into the
+bedrooms, and the bedrooms on to the compound again. Thus we were
+enabled in all weathers to have a direct draught through the house, and
+as Remyo is a remarkably windy place, much of our time was occupied in
+preventing the furniture from being blown away. Whenever anything was
+missing we invariably found it in the back compound, whither it had been
+carried by the wind. Life in such an atmosphere was no doubt healthy,
+but a trifle wearing to the nerves.
+
+The compactness of the house was delightful. All the rooms led out of
+one another, and there were no inside doors, consequently one could
+easily carry on a conversation with those in other parts of the house
+without leaving one's chair or raising one's voice.
+
+The only occasion on which we found this arrangement of the rooms
+inconvenient was when we stained the dining room floor. The stain did
+not dry for three days, and during that time all communication between
+the drawing room and bedrooms was entirely cut off, for the only way
+from one to the other was through the dining room, and that was
+impossible, unless we wished our beautiful floor to be covered with
+permanent foot marks.
+
+Our architect was evidently a dweller in the plains, and the uses of a
+fireplace were unknown to him. In each of the small bedrooms he had
+built large open fireplaces, worthy of a baronial hall, while in neither
+of the sitting rooms was there the slightest vestige of a fireplace of
+any sort or kind whatever.
+
+This was a little inconvenient. Naturally an affectionate and gregarious
+family party, we did not like to spend our evenings, each sitting alone
+before our own palatial bedroom fireplace; being properly brought up,
+and proud of our drawing room, we preferred to occupy it, and often, as
+I sat shivering while the wind tore through the rooms, whistling and
+shrieking round the furniture, and the rain poured through the roof, I
+wondered what was supposed to be the use of a house at all; we should
+have done quite as well without one, except, of course, for the look of
+the thing.
+
+Modern inventions such as bells appear unknown in Remyo. If you want
+anything you must shout for it until you get it.
+
+When calling on a neighbour you stand outside the front door, and shout
+for five minutes, if no one appears in that time, you assume they are
+not at home, put your cards on the doorstep or through a chink in the
+wall, and depart. It is a primitive arrangement, but still, not without
+advantages. If you don't wish to find people at home, you shout softly.
+
+We were superior to all our neighbours in the possession of a bell. We
+hung it up in the compound near the servants' "go downs," and passed the
+bell rope through various holes in the walls, etc., to the dining room.
+I don't know where the bell originally came from, but I think it must
+have come from a pagoda, for it was undoubtedly bewitched. It rang at
+all hours of the day and night without provocation. Once it pealed out
+suddenly at midnight and rang steadily for half-an-hour, when it as
+suddenly stopped. This was probably caused by some birds swinging on
+the rope, but it was most uncanny.
+
+The servants used to answer the bell at first when it rang in the day
+time, until the joke palled on them, and they became suddenly deaf to
+its call. They never answered it at night: I fancy they thought when
+they heard it then, that the house was attacked by dacoits or tigers and
+we were ringing for help, and they deemed it more prudent to remain shut
+up in their "go downs." When we attempted to ring the bell with a
+purpose, it invariably stuck somewhere and would not sound. We never
+ceased to feel proud of the possession of our bell, but ceased at last
+to expect it to be of any practical use.
+
+When my sister first showed me over her house, my heart sank in spite of
+my ostensible admiration, for where was the kitchen? Did dwellers in
+Remyo eat no cooked food; must I be satisfied with rice and fruits?
+However, my doubts were soon set at rest when we visited the compound,
+for there stood a tiny tin shed, inside which was a broad brick wall,
+with three holes for fires, and what looked like a dog kennel, but which
+I learned was the oven. A fire was lighted inside the oven, and when the
+walls were red hot the burning logs were pulled out, the bread placed
+in, and walled up.
+
+How anyone managed to cook anything successfully thus was a marvel to
+me. I had gone out to Remyo, fresh from a course of scientific cooking
+lectures, intending to rejoice the palates of the poor exiles with the
+dainty dishes I would cook for their edification. When I saw that
+kitchen, and when I learned that such a thing as a pair of scales did
+not exist in the station, all measuring being done by guess work, I gave
+up all hope of fulfilling my intention, and looked upon the native cook
+as the most talented gentleman of my acquaintance.
+
+The furniture in Remyo is of the "let-us-pack-up-quickly-and-remove"
+type. It is of the lightest and most unsubstantial kind, and has the air
+of having seen many sales and many owners.
+
+The most prominent article in nearly every house is the deck chair,
+faithful and much travelled chair, which has accompanied its master over
+the sea from England, and wandered with him into many a dreary little
+out-of-the-way village, where perchance he sees for months no fellow
+white man, and where his chair and pipe alone receive his confidences,
+and solace his soul in the utter loneliness of the jungle. No wonder
+then that the deck chair wears an important air, and regards other
+pieces of furniture, which probably change owners every six months, with
+contemptuous scorn.
+
+The impossibility of having a settled home in Burmah is very pathetic.
+In Rangoon, the interior of the houses occasionally wear a settled and
+homelike appearance, but in the jungle, never. Everything is selected
+with a view to quick packing; pictures, ornaments, and useless
+decorations are reduced to a minimum, and only articles of furniture
+which are indispensable are seen. When one is liable to be moved
+elsewhere at four days' notice, there is no encouragement to take deep
+root, the frequent uprooting would be too painful.
+
+This spirit of constant change seems to enter into the blood of the
+Anglo-Indian, for the housewife is perpetually moving her furniture,
+"turning her rooms round" so to speak, and she never seems to keep
+anything in the same place for more than a week!
+
+After all, not Burmah, but England is looked upon as "Home." Even the
+man of twenty-five years service whose family, friends, and interests
+may be all centred in Burmah, who loves the life he leads there, and is
+proud of the position he holds, even he talks of what he will do when he
+"goes home," and in imagination crowns with a halo "this little precious
+stone set in the silver sea, this blessed plot, this earth, this realm,
+this England," which no amount of fog, cold, monotony, and dreary
+oblivion in his after life here, ever dispels. However happy and
+prosperous the Anglo-Indian may be in his exile, going to England, is
+"going home."
+
+Our most unique piece of furniture was the piano.
+
+I do not remember who was the maker of this renowned instrument, but its
+delicate constitution was most unhappily disorganised by the climate.
+When first it came to us it was quite a nice piano, rather jingling, and
+not always in tune, but "fit to pass in a crowd with a shove." Alas! the
+Remyo climate was fatal; the degeneration commenced at once, and
+proceeded so rapidly, that in three months all was over.
+
+The first indication of trouble was a serious feud between several of
+the notes, which would persist in making use of one another's tones, and
+would not work in harmony. For example, when one struck C sharp, it
+promptly sang out high F's tone, and high F, being deprived of its
+lawful voice, was forced to adopt a sound like nothing we had ever heard
+before. Then E flat became officious and conceited, and persisted in
+sounding its shrill note through the whole of the piece in performance,
+while G on the contrary was sulky, and wouldn't sound at all.
+
+Now all this was, of course, most disconcerting to other notes which
+had hitherto behaved in an exemplary manner. Some became flurried and
+nervous, and sang totally wrong tones, or sounded their own in such a
+doubtful, apologetic manner that it was of very little effect. Others
+grew annoyed, sided with various leaders in the quarrels, jangling
+together noisily, and persisting in sounding discords and interrupting
+each other. Others again were seized with a mischievous spirit; they
+mocked and mimicked their companions, and vied with one another in
+producing the most extraordinary and unpleasant noises.
+
+Chaos and anarchy reigned in the piano case, all laws of sound and
+harmony were o'erthrown, the bass clef could no longer be trusted to
+produce a low note, nor the treble a high one, and a chromatic scale
+produced such an extraordinary conglomeration of sounds, as would
+certainly have caused a German band to die of envy.
+
+This could not continue for ever, and at last came reaction. Whether
+caused by the quarterly visit of the Mandalay chaplain, or by the
+shocked and pained expression on the face of a musical friend who called
+one day when I was sounding (it could no longer be called playing) the
+piano, I know not, but certain it is, the piano was suddenly seized with
+remorse. Notes conquered their thieving propensities, differences were
+patched up, discord and jangling ceased, and the whole community, as a
+sign of real repentance, took upon itself the vow of silence.
+
+Not a sound could we extract from the once noisy keys, save occasionally
+a sad whisper from the treble, or a low murmur from the bass. After a
+time, even these ceased, and the once harmonious and soul-stirring tones
+of the piano, passed entirely into the Land of Silence.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+THE EUROPEAN INHABITANTS.
+
+     "In spite of all temptations
+     To belong to other nations
+     He remains an Englishman"--
+                         "H.M.S. Pinafore."
+
+
+The European population of Remyo is small, consisting in fact of but
+four resident ladies, and some dozen resident males; but despite their
+limited number they form a very friendly and independent little
+community. Among them are to be found the usual types of Anglo Indian
+society, but they display characteristics not met with among the
+dwellers in larger stations.
+
+Remyo is so entirely cut off from civilisation, that the inhabitants
+must of necessity depend solely upon themselves for amusement, and as
+entertainments, at which one would invariably meet the same half-dozen
+guests are apt to become a trifle monotonous, the ladies, deprived of
+this usual mode of killing time, are compelled to devote themselves to
+domestic pursuits rather more than is the custom of most Anglo Indians.
+
+The comparative coolness of the climate (Remyo being 3,500 feet above
+sea level) is conducive to such occupations, and whereas in Rangoon, or
+Mandalay, housekeeping duties are reduced to a minimum, in Remyo, the
+ladies, having nothing else to do, engage themselves thus with a zeal
+and energy worthy of a Dutch housewife.
+
+But, poor souls, they are terribly handicapped!
+
+In the first place, they are mostly unaccustomed to housekeeping
+themselves; secondly, the servants and household are quite unaccustomed
+to being "kept"; and thirdly, it is practically impossible for a
+mistress to do her own marketing unless she possess an unusual knowledge
+of the language.
+
+She may resolutely keep accounts, lock up stores, walk about all morning
+in an apron, with a large bunch of keys, and have long confidential
+conversations with the cook; but in spite of all these possibilities
+she can only play at housekeeping; the Cook and Head Boy are the real
+managers of the establishment, and they regard the well meant efforts of
+their mistress with the kindly amusement one would extend to a child
+"keeping house." A Remyo lady's morning interview with her cook, usually
+a Madrassee, is an amusing interlude.
+
+Neither fish nor joints can be procured in the native bazaar, so the
+poor housekeeper is often at her wits' end to introduce variety into her
+evening menu.
+
+She begins cheerfully: "Well cook, what have we for dinner to-night?"
+
+Cook replies laconically, "Chicken."
+
+"Chicken," repeats the mistress doubtfully, "yes, perhaps that will do.
+Did you kill it yesterday?"
+
+"No! missis, not killed yet."
+
+"Oh cook!" in a tone of stern reproach, "missis told you always to kill
+it the day before, why have you not done so?"
+
+Cook shelters himself behind an unintelligible answer in a mixture of
+Hindustani and "Pigeon English," and after an unsuccessful attempt to
+understand him, his mistress is forced to pass from the subject, with a
+rebuke which he receives with a reproachful look. "Now," she continues,
+"what have you for soup?"
+
+"Chicken" is again the prompt reply.
+
+"Is there really nothing else?" demands the mistress uneasily.
+
+"No, there is nothing else."
+
+"Well," hopefully, "you must make a very nice little side dish (entree),
+what can we have?"
+
+"Nice bit of grilled chicken," suggests cook cheerfully.
+
+"Oh no cook," she cries in despair, "we can't have more chicken."
+
+"What would missis like then?"
+
+Missis has not the vaguest idea of any possible suggestion, so
+diffidently agrees that perhaps chicken will be nice. She asks about the
+savoury, but seeing the word "chicken" again hovering on cook's lips,
+decides to make the savoury herself, and turns to receive the daily
+accounts.
+
+Then cook rattles off a long account of his expenditure, which his
+mistress duly enters in her book, fondly hoping that he isn't charging
+her more than double the cost of each article, but having no means of
+discovering the truth.
+
+Once or twice, on visits to the bazaar, we asked the price of various
+things, and triumphantly confronted the cook with the result of our
+researches, but he was never in the least disconcerted, and at once
+entered into a long, unintelligible, and quite irrefutable explanation
+as to why the article was cheaper on that particular day than on any
+other. It is quite impossible to upset the cheerful sang froid of a
+Madrassee.
+
+Native servants have the reputation of being most faithful to their
+master, and perhaps they deserve the character, for they allow no one
+else to cheat him (unless they get the lion's share of the spoil), but
+they consider it their special prerogative to cheat him themselves at
+every opportunity.
+
+A scolding from a mistress makes little impression on a Madrassee
+servant,--he receives it with an air of gentle reproach, while he most
+persistently denies the offence, whatever it may be, from a bad dinner,
+to a broken plate or an undelivered message. It is only the master, who,
+by a wealth of strong language, and judiciously directed remarks,
+concerning the origin, parents, and relations of the guilty one, can
+hope to make the slightest impression upon the impervious native mind.
+
+A further difficulty for the young and ardent housekeeper is the number
+of servants in her establishment. One man is engaged to sweep the floor,
+another to dust the furniture, one to fetch the water, a second to pour
+it into the bath, one to lay the knives and forks, and a companion to
+hand the plates, and so on through every department of the household
+work.
+
+This divided duty is exceedingly convenient to the servants, for if
+anything be wrong the fault can always be laid on the absent one, or a
+scolding delivered to one can be passed on almost unlimitedly until
+everyone has enjoyed an opportunity of relieving his feelings. But it is
+inconvenient for a mistress; such a delay is caused in carrying out an
+order. For example, if a jug of water be spilled, a first servant picks
+up the jug, a second dries the table cloth, a third dries the table, a
+fourth mops up the water from the floor, a fifth rearranges the
+furniture, a sixth carries out the empty jug, and a seventh fetches the
+water to refill it.
+
+All orders are delivered to the Head Boy, a most important and dignified
+personage, and he transmits them through the various ranks of his
+underlings until they reach the servant whose duty it is to carry them
+out. During the transmission through so many channels, of course the
+orders become hopelessly mixed.
+
+We had only fourteen servants, as our house was not large! A few of
+them, such as the cook, sais, and butler had definite duties, the
+remainder seemed to be chiefly engaged in getting in one another's way
+and quarrelling. But I suppose the work of the house could not have been
+carried on without them, though their number was distinctly
+inconvenient.
+
+In Rangoon, where servants abound, it would be easy to dismiss and
+engage a dozen a day, but not so in the remoter stations. The natives of
+India will not leave the plains unless a strong inducement be offered,
+and the Burmese much prefer not to work, if they can live without doing
+so. Burmans are usually excellent servants, but they are slow to learn
+to speak English, and the young housekeeper, who has probably been
+accustomed to English, or at least Hindustani-speaking servants in
+Rangoon, experiences great difficulty in making herself understood.
+
+All our servants, with the exception of the cook, were Burmese, and when
+my brother happened to be away, and the cook was not at hand to
+interpret, we felt particularly helpless. Messages brought at such a
+time had to go undelivered, and many a struggle have I had to understand
+Po Sin's wants, or to make him understand mine. Housekeeping under such
+disadvantages is not a happy undertaking.
+
+Another way of passing time in which we indulged, was cooking. It was
+cooking under difficulties, for the most important part (the baking) had
+perforce to be entrusted to the tender mercies of the cook, no one else
+being capable of understanding his intricate oven. And the cook, jealous
+of our trespass on his prerogative, almost invariably served up our
+cakes in the guise, either of soft dough, or of black cinders.
+
+The chief objects of our cooking experiments were cakes and savouries.
+We neither of us knew very much about cooking, but we had cookery books,
+and did what we could, supplying the place of the innumerable
+ingredients we did not possess, with any we happened to have on hand.
+The result was usually distasteful.
+
+I made cakes with exceeding great vigour and confidence during almost
+the whole of my stay, but nobody ate them save myself from bravado, the
+dogs from greed, and unsuspecting strangers from innocence.
+
+Cake making was a fashionable subject of conversation at the ladies'
+"five o'clocks" in Remyo, and everyone gave everyone else recipes. I was
+astonished to hear my sister (whom I knew to be almost entirely ignorant
+upon such subjects) glibly confiding recipes for all sorts of things, on
+one of these occasions. I taxed her with the matter later, but she
+explained that it was the fashion to give recipes, and so long as she
+was careful to include an ingredient or two, impossible to obtain, she
+could safely trust that no one would find her out.
+
+There is one shop in Remyo in addition to the native Bazaar, and the
+ladies usually pay it a daily visit, in order, I suppose, to add realism
+to their pretence of housekeeping.
+
+The method adopted on these occasions is remarkable. No one expects to
+find anything she really wants in the shop, as it is kept by a native of
+India, but she begins hopefully asking for various articles, each demand
+being greeted by a shake of the head. She then asks the shopkeeper what
+he does happen to sell, at which he appears doubtful, but suggests some
+useless thing such as antimacassars. The purchaser at length makes a
+tour of the shop, picks out the least useless article she can find, and
+bears it home in triumph.
+
+The unwise thing to do, is to order an article from Rangoon or Mandalay.
+One is indeed lucky if it arrives within twelve months after being
+ordered, and without an expenditure of all one's powers of sarcasm in
+letters of remonstrance, and a fortune in stamps.
+
+Firstly, there will be received about a dozen letters, with intervals of
+four days or so between each, demanding fresh descriptions and
+explanations of the desired article. Then, when more specific
+description is an impossibility, letters for money will arrive; a
+request for a rupee for carriage, another request for five annas for
+something else, for half a rupee that has been overlooked in the first
+account, and so on for four weeks more. Then the article is announced to
+be upon the way, but it does not arrive. More letters bring to light the
+fact that it is lost; has most mysteriously disappeared; cannot be
+traced anywhere.
+
+New people come upon the scene. Letters from carriers and agents arrive.
+Weeks elapse, still the article cannot be found. Another is in course of
+construction, when it is suddenly discovered that by some strange
+oversight the original was overlooked, never sent off at all, and is
+still reposing in the same tiresome shop. At length the once desired
+purchase arrives, but the purchaser has now long ceased to feel any
+interest in it whatever.
+
+The inhabitants of Remyo live together in apparent peace and
+friendliness, but there is between them one never ending source of
+rivalry, _i.e._ their gardens.
+
+Gardening is one of the most fashionable employments in Remyo. Everyone
+has a garden, though the uninitiated would probably not recognise the
+fact, and the amount of time, thought, and energy expended thereon is
+worthy of better results than those I beheld.
+
+For the "Remyoans" are ambitious folk, and are not content with the
+flowers, plants and natural products of the country. Their desire is to
+have a real English garden, and with this end in view, they sow
+innumerable seeds, set many bulbs, rake, dig and water (or superintend
+these operations) till life is a burden both to themselves and to their
+servants. Possibly, I did not remain long enough, but the results I saw
+were not satisfactory; it required a great stretch of imagination to
+mark any resemblance between a large bare compound covered with coarse
+jungle grass, dotted about with flat grey-soiled beds containing a few
+withered looking plants (half-a-dozen violets perhaps, and a haggard
+sunflower), and an English garden. Perhaps long absence from home had
+dulled their recollection of gardens in England.
+
+We were specially unlucky in our garden. Had we been content to confine
+our efforts to plants in pots and boxes (as did some of our wiser
+neighbours) we might have been fairly successful. But visions of rose
+gardens, artistically laid out beds, and mossy violet covered dells
+dazzled us, and our ambitions in this direction were boundless.
+
+The coarse grass, the poor soil, and the persistent reappearances of
+unsightly jungle weeds in all sorts of unexpected places should have
+daunted us, but we had souls above such trifles. Directly we had formed
+our plans we set to work, scorning the advice of more experienced
+people, and disregarding all considerations of prepared beds, manure,
+and seasons. We marked out several intricately shaped beds, dug them up,
+lightly scattered some good soil over the top, and proceeded to sow our
+seed with hearty good will.
+
+The first difficulty we met with was with regard to arrangement. Each of
+us had a favourite plan, the abandonment of which no arguments on the
+part of the others could persuade. At length, after much useless
+discussion, we decided each to go our own way, sow our seed where we
+chose, and leave it to Nature to settle the difficulty. This was so far
+satisfactory, tho' we felt anxious when we found that nasturtiums had
+been sown on the top of daffodil bulbs, and one poor little bed of
+pansies had a border of sweet peas and sunflowers.
+
+For some days after we had laid out the garden, my sister and I had a
+wearing time. The first thing in the early mornings we hurried out for
+an eager search after signs of life in our seeds. We divided the day
+into watches, that someone might always be at hand to defend the
+precious seed from the marauding crows and pigeons. The cool of the
+evening, usually given up to tennis and other amusements, was devoted
+wholly to the fatiguing task of watering.
+
+At last, sooner in fact than we really expected, we were rewarded by a
+few delicate green shoots, peering cautiously above the ground. How
+tenderly we cherished these first fruits of our toil; how carefully we
+shaded them from the sun, watered them, and protected them from the evil
+onslaught of the pigeons. How angry we were when we discovered they were
+weeds.
+
+However, we were rewarded at last by the unmistakable appearance of
+cultivated plants. Nearly every seed sent up its little green shoot, and
+for a few days we were most unpleasantly proud, and treated our friends
+with contemptuous pity, while we visited and measured the plants almost
+every half-hour, to see if they had grown in the interval. But our joy
+was short lived, for from some cause or another, either the strong sun,
+the lack of water, or the poor soil, all our plants withered before they
+put forth flowers.
+
+At first we refused to believe our ill fortune; we told one another that
+it was always thus at first with delicate plants, that they must have
+more water and less sun. We covered them over in the heat of the day
+with waste paper baskets, topees, and cunningly erected tents of straw,
+and we risked our lives a hundred times, by running out in the hot sun
+to replace these, when the wind blew them away. We talked bravely of
+being able soon to gather bunches of daffodils, and to send our
+neighbours baskets of sweet peas. But we each felt all the time in our
+heart of hearts, that our hopes were doomed to disappointment.
+
+At last we could keep up the delusion no longer, and owned the fact of
+our failure to one another; and being now sadder and wiser folk, threw
+away the withered plants, and made a new garden, following this time the
+advice of our neighbours.
+
+The only plants which did prosper in this first garden were the
+nasturtiums (I verily believe they will flourish anywhere) and for
+several hours a tiny bed round the foot of a tree at the bottom of the
+compound veritably blazed with the colour afforded by four flourishing
+nasturtiums; but while we were at the Club that evening, the crows
+pecked off all the petals of the flowers, and our only success was but a
+short lived one.
+
+The kitchen garden, which we consigned to the care of Po Sin, our head
+boy, was rather more successful, our radishes, and mustard and cress
+being the wonder of the country side.
+
+Then we had good hopes for the peas too; there was one row about ten
+inches high which looked really promising, and as we sat on the veranda
+in the evenings contemplating this cheerful sight, we talked longingly
+of the time when we should have a dish of our own peas for dinner.
+
+But alas for the vanity of human expectations. One morning, my sister
+had sallied forth to inspect the garden, when I was startled by the
+despairing cry of "Come, come at once, the peas are flowering;" and upon
+hurrying to the spot I found it too true; our precocious peas were
+already in flower, and nothing could be done to discourage them. After a
+few days the petals fell away, and miniature pea pods, containing
+microscopic peas appeared in their place. Our wishes were fulfilled; we
+had a dish, (a very small one) of our own peas for dinner, but alas it
+consisted of the produce of the entire row.
+
+Another source of much interest was our strawberry plant. I took 100
+strawberry runners out with me from England, but, unfortunately, only
+one survived, which put forth three new shoots, and appeared for a time
+quite healthy, but never bore fruit. Still, it may yet do so; and in the
+meantime it is much admired by all the inhabitants of Remyo.
+
+Our second garden, happily, being prepared with more regard to the
+demands of the climate, was a success, and wiped out the stain of our
+first failure.
+
+It is well that the Remyo ladies can interest themselves in the manner I
+have indicated, for between breakfast and tea time the sun is so
+terribly hot, as to render out-door exercise quite impossible, and in
+the absence of many books time is sometimes difficult to kill.
+
+Ladies in England, with their hundred and one occupations, their
+amusements, household duties, and perhaps charities to attend to, can
+have but a very faint conception of how wearisomely long and lonely are
+some days, to their Anglo-Indian sisters. Their husbands away, or busy
+much of the day, deprived of their children's society, with few books,
+few amusements, and practically no duties, life is far from being an
+unqualified joy to these exiled women. Let the British matron who would
+accuse her Eastern sister of idleness, frivolity, and worse, consider
+these things, and forbear to judge.
+
+The men, with their work and sport to engage their time, are less apt
+to find the days long; but even they at times feel the same strain.
+Indeed, I remember one day, when there was no work to be done, my
+brother and sister, (who had but lately left Rangoon with its constant
+whirl of gaiety) became so hopelessly and desperately bored, that we
+were reduced to revive our drooping spirits by making sugar toffee over
+the spirit kettle.
+
+Before breakfast and after tea are the opportunities for exercise and
+amusement, and the most is made of these cooler hours.
+
+Remyo boasts a gravel tennis court, and a nine-hole golf course, mostly
+bunkers. Two more tennis courts, and a cricket and polo ground are in
+course of construction, preparatory to the arrival of the Great Future
+to which I have referred. Each form of exercise enjoys about three days
+popularity at a time. At one time tennis will be the rage, and every one
+repairs to the Club court, tho' so short are the evenings before sunset,
+that it is impossible to play more than three sets an afternoon, so we
+are forced to be content with about three games each. Then the tennis
+rage dies away, and golf suddenly becomes the fashionable game.
+
+Like most occupations in Remyo, golf is golf under difficulties, though
+personally, whenever and wherever I play golf, I play under
+difficulties. The links are chiefly jungle, and a wood axe would
+probably be the most useful accessory to the enjoyment of the game. The
+holes are short, and a good player would probably drive on to the green
+every time, but at Remyo we were not good players. If by some lucky
+chance one drove perfectly straight, there was nothing worse to fear
+than a tree, or a deep nullah, filled with reeds and hoof marks, a
+nullah where might be spent a harassing quarter of an hour, slashing at
+a half hidden ball, which, in sheer desperation, one was at last
+compelled to pick out. But if the drive were not straight, then what
+endless and interesting possibilities or impossibilities were revealed.
+Heaps of stones, inpenetrable bushes, reeds, rabbit-holes, and every
+form of acute misery which the golfer's soul can conceive.
+
+Yet the Links are very popular, and are the scene of many an exciting
+match, in spite of lost balls, broken clubs, and lost tempers. I have
+seen three clubs broken by one man in an afternoon's match, and he was
+neither a particularly bad player, nor especially violent.
+
+The Burman is not a success as a caddie. Our loogalays looked upon the
+game at first with indifference, then with dislike. I think they
+imagined that we purposely drove the ball into a hopeless tangle of
+grass and bushes in order to scold them when they could not find it.
+They could never be induced to make any distinction between the clubs,
+and looked hurt when we curtly refused to drive with our putters. Their
+notion of marking balls, too, is very primitive; Po Mya only found one
+during my stay, which it turned out was an old one lost some days
+before. In fine, they seemed to think it the greatest folly that we
+should tramp up and down, and in and out of nullahs, and lose our
+tempers so unnecessarily, because of a small white ball, when we had
+plenty more at home.
+
+On some afternoons everyone will repair to the new polo and cricket
+ground, and walk up and down the new laid turf, discussing solemnly the
+drainage, and general advantages and disadvantages of the position; or,
+feeling energetic, will practise cricket, and the knowing ones will give
+exhibitions of tricky polo strokes.
+
+The making of the polo ground was seriously delayed at first on account
+of the divergent opinions as to the best site, each declaring his
+selection to be the only one possible, and showering unlimited contempt
+upon all others. Every day we were dragged off to inspect a new spot,
+and all appeared to me so equally lacking in points of advantage, that I
+had no difficulty in impressing each new discoverer with my knowledge in
+such matters, by disparaging (in confidence) all other schemes than his.
+
+Finally, a site was chosen, and while the ground was in course of
+construction, those whose views had been disregarded, derived the
+satisfaction (always to be had in such cases) of discussing the
+insurmountable obstacles to the selected proposal.
+
+Some afternoons were devoted to rides. The jungle around Remyo is
+lovely, tho' not being there during the Rains, I did not see it to
+perfection. There are delightful rides in every direction, and exquisite
+views from the hills, whence can be seen for miles nothing but
+undulating waves of jungle, every colour from deepest reds and browns to
+the bright pink of the peach blossom, and the pale green of the feathery
+bamboos. It is a wonderful sight, this unbroken jungle, bordered in the
+far distance by the shadowy blue hills of the Shan States.
+
+Sometimes we visited quaint pagodas, with their neighbouring pretty,
+many-roofed kyaungs where the yellow robed hpoongyis, wander in
+meditation, or study 'neath the shade of the palm and banana groves. The
+pagodas are all very similar in shape, and near to each is a tazoung
+full of images of Gaudama, with ever the same calm peaceful smile,
+denoting a philosophy superior to the cares and artificialities of the
+world around.
+
+Sometimes we rode along narrow jungle paths, bordered by a tangled mass
+of bright coloured bushes and undergrowth, or by the tall, waving,
+jungle grass, which is always whispering. These paths lead to tiny
+collections of bamboo huts, surrounded by high fences to keep out
+dacoits and other marauders, where the unambitious native leads a
+peaceful, contented life, under the shadow of the bamboos and peepul
+trees; an uneventful existence, enlivened, perhaps, occasionally by a
+Pwe, or visit to a pagoda feast at a neighbouring village.
+
+I enjoyed these expeditions, tho' they were ever fraught with danger to
+my limbs. Nothing would induce me again to mount a pony (I had had
+sufficient experience) so I accompanied the others on my bicycle.
+
+Of late years many wonderful bicycle riders have exhibited their tricks
+to the public, but I am certain none have performed such extraordinary
+feats as are called for by the state of the Burmese roads, most of them
+mere jungle tracks, ploughed in every direction into deep ruts by the
+bullock carts. It was impossible to ride in the furrows, as they were
+not sufficiently wide to allow the pedals to work round, so I was
+obliged to perform a sort of plank riding trick along the top of the
+rut. Occasionally, my eminence would break off abruptly, and unless the
+bicycle succeeded in jumping the gap a fall was inevitable. Never had
+bicycle such severe usage, nor ever did such yeoman service as mine; but
+save an occasional twist of the handle bars, or a bent spoke, I never
+met with a serious accident, and I soon learned the art of "falling
+softly."
+
+My anxieties, too, were increased by the mistaken kindness of my
+companions, who would persist in riding beside me and conversing. One
+man in particular (I have forgiven him, for I know he meant it kindly)
+would never consent to leave me to ride alone. He would trot along on
+his pony, either just beside, or worse still just behind me, when I felt
+I might fall at any moment, and that he could not help riding over me.
+He would chatter away gaily, while I, with agonised expression,
+struggled along, one eye on the road and one eye on the pony, scarce
+heeding his remarks, making the most hopelessly vague replies to his
+questions, and committing myself to I know not what opinions.
+
+One day we actually took a walk. We ladies grew weary of our customary
+amusements, and though we had none of us done much walking since we left
+England, we hailed the new idea with delight. The men refused to
+accompany us (the English civilian in the East seems to forget how to
+walk) so we went with only a servant or two to carry our cameras,
+refreshments, and other necessities.
+
+We walked about five miles thro' the jungle, to a little native village
+surrounded entirely by clumps of feathery bamboos, a most exquisite
+spot. We climbed a neighbouring hill where stood the inevitable pagoda
+and kyaung, and were rewarded by a perfect view.
+
+Our photographic intentions were unfulfilled, for as we were about to
+focus our cameras, a jungle fire was set alight below, and the smoke,
+drifting across the valley towards us most effectually obscured our
+view. We were forced to be content with photographing one another, the
+most beautiful substitutes we could find.
+
+We examined the pagoda, peeped into the kyaung, and tried to induce the
+hpoongyi to come out and be photographed; but the pious man, evidently a
+hermit, shut himself promptly into the inner recesses of his dwelling,
+and continued to read in a loud voice until we had taken our departure.
+We thought him unnecessarily suspicious, and should have been hurt had
+we not felt it to be really rather a compliment to our charms.
+
+Our expedition was on the whole a success, but as we arrived home very
+hot and tired, having lost our way once or twice, we failed to convince
+the stay-at-homes that we had enjoyed ourselves without them.
+
+One morning early, my sister and I were startled by a succession of
+shots which rang out close to the house. My brother was away in the
+district, making an official tour among the villages under his charge,
+so we were alone and unprotected. Hurrying to the window, what was our
+astonishment to see a band of Goorkhas, under command of one of the
+subalterns, of the detachment stationed at Remyo, defending our house
+against an unseen enemy who lurked in the neighbouring jungle, and kept
+up an incessant firing. My mind first flew to dacoits, then to French or
+Chinese (I knew there had been trouble on the border), then, on catching
+sight of one of the enemy, and recognising him also as a Goorkha, I knew
+mutiny must have broken out. Trouble of this kind always breaks out
+unexpectedly, I have heard.
+
+Soon however, we were forced to suppose that it must be a revolution,
+for leading the enemy on to attack was the second of the two subalterns
+of the detachment. It was difficult to believe that this usually shy and
+retiring young man could be the leader of a disloyal rising, but there
+he was, excitedly encouraging his followers to attack the house.
+
+We hastily prepared lint and bandages for the wounded, and watched with
+beating hearts the progress of the fight.
+
+Suddenly, both sides ceased firing, the leaders advanced towards one
+another, conversed amicably together, evidently settled their
+differences, summoned their troops, and marched them home to breakfast.
+It was a sham fight.
+
+This appears to be the favourite amusement of the officers who form the
+military element of Remyo society.
+
+I was continually finding myself in the midst of desperate encounters
+when taking my rides abroad. It was rather disconcerting at first, but I
+grew accustomed to it in time, as one grows accustomed to anything, and
+would ride along the line of fire, with a coolness and indifference
+worthy of one of the old seasoned campaigners.
+
+I suppose to those who live in a military district, sham fights are
+ordinary affairs, but I had never seen one before, and it struck me as
+very ludicrous to see these men, in most desperate earnestness,
+crouching in ambush, dodging behind trees, and crawling along under
+cover to escape the fire of their foes. The little Goorkhas become
+wildly excited, and it would not do to allow the two sides to come to
+close quarters, or the sham fight might develop into a real one.
+
+The other European male inhabitants of Remyo, are the inevitable Indian
+Civilian and "Bombay Burman," whom of course I should not presume to
+analyse; two railway men (who seem superfluous as there is as yet no
+railway), a P.W.D. (Public Works Department) man, whose work, it seems,
+is to make roads (from my point of view as a cyclist they don't do him
+credit), an Engineer, and the Policeman.
+
+This last was a mighty shikarri, who had hunted and shot every
+imaginable animal; who knew the habits and customs of all the beasts of
+the jungle, and after examining a "kill" would give a whole history of
+the fight between the tiger and its victim. He was a mighty talker too,
+and would converse for hours on any subject.
+
+What he could not accomplish was to speak for three minutes without
+giving way to exaggeration; nor could he give an unvarnished reply to a
+plain question, so that in Remyo "if you want to know the time _don't_
+ask a policeman" is the popular aphorism.
+
+The Engineer possessed the most striking characteristics amongst the men
+of the place. I have never met a man so full of information. He was one
+of those men who can give information on every conceivable subject, for
+if he knows nothing about it, he will invent a few facts on the spur of
+the moment, facts of which he is always justly proud.
+
+I never quite made up my mind whether his actions were the outcome of a
+passion for practical joking, or a desire to be of use, but I try to
+believe the latter. When I punctured my bicycle tyre he insisted upon
+helping me to mend it. His process occupied the whole of an afternoon,
+and the front veranda and drawing-room; beyond this, it was too
+intricate to describe, except to say that it required all the available
+tooth brushes in the house, three basins of water, and a rupee piece,
+and necessitated, apparently, the cutting of a large hole in the inner
+tube, with a patent tyre remover he had invented out of a broken
+teaspoon.
+
+On another occasion, he assured us he had a splendid plan for preventing
+our drawing room stove from smoking. We had been obliged to put a stove
+in the drawing room to make up for the absence of a fire place; it was a
+primitive affair, with a chimney that went through a hole in the wall,
+and it smoked "somethink hawful." Our friend tried his plan and a dozen
+others, each more wonderful and complicated than the last, and each
+necessitating fresh holes in the already perforated wall. Each plan too,
+resulted in increased volumes of smoke, and as the furniture and carpet
+were being rapidly ruined, and our whilom happy home was being broken
+up, we finally remedied the matter ourselves.
+
+But the matter wherein our Engineer excelled himself, was in the matter
+of rose trees.
+
+Hearing us one day express a wish for a rose garden, he declared at
+once that nothing was easier. He was departing for Rangoon in two days,
+and he would there procure and send to us rose cuttings, which we must
+plant in carefully prepared boxes of soil, follow the instructions which
+he would give us concerning their welfare, and we should soon have
+flourishing rose trees. Our gratitude was unbounded, we listened and
+carefully noted his instructions, and after his departure eagerly
+awaited the fulfilment of his promise.
+
+In a few days a coolie delivered at our house, what I took at first to
+be twigs for fire wood, but on examining the letter accompanying them, I
+discovered they were the promised rose cuttings. I felt some doubts
+about them, but my sister had implicit faith in the Engineer (the stove
+incident came later), and would not listen to me.
+
+So we planted the rose cuttings, and for six whole weeks did we tend
+them. All the instructions we carried out to the letter, watering twice
+daily and sheltering them from the sun by day, and from the cold dews by
+night, but all to no avail. Dead sticks they were, and dead sticks they
+remained, till at last convinced of the hopelessness of attempting to
+restore life to the withered things, we tore them up in desperation and
+burnt them.
+
+My sister's faith in the Engineer, however, remained still unshaken, and
+she protested that the coolie must have lost the original bundle of rose
+cuttings, and substituted these twigs in their place. For my part I
+believe no such thing, and when I consider what passionate care and
+tenderness we lavished on those unresponsive pieces of wood, I do indeed
+feel disposed to "speak with many words."
+
+Varied though the characters and interests of the Remyo inhabitants may
+be, in one particular they all agree, i.e. in their dislike of the
+Casual Visitor.
+
+The casual visitor is supposed to ruin the servants, to monopolise the
+tennis courts, and golf links, to abuse the privileges of honorary
+membership of the club, to unjustly criticise the polo ground, and
+generally to destroy the peace and harmony of the station.
+
+For the men, the advent of a lady visitor means calls, dinner parties,
+and the necessity of wearing best clothes, which fills them with horror.
+For the ladies, it means the advent of one who will possess the latest
+fashions from Rangoon (possibly from England), who will throw into the
+shade their gala costumes of the fashion of two years ago, who will
+trespass upon their prerogatives, rival their powers at tennis and golf,
+and generally interfere with their peaceful and innocent pursuits.
+
+The arrival of visitors, therefore, is not welcomed as a rule, and
+though hospitably received and comfortably housed, they are not admitted
+into the inner life of the station until they have shown themselves
+quite innocent of the evil qualities which are imputed to them.
+
+This unexpected unfriendliness on the part of the Remyoans has been
+brought about by the acts of two people, who once visited this happy
+valley, and departed again leaving deeply rooted indignation behind
+them. Of the first, a woman, it suffices to say that she amply justified
+the suspicions of the Remyo ladies. Her name is never mentioned by them
+without a significant look, and she is not a safe subject for
+discussion.
+
+The crime of the second sinner against Remyo hospitality (a man) was of
+a different nature, and it is perhaps difficult for the female mind to
+grasp the enormity of the offence.
+
+A large tiger had made its appearance in the neighbourhood, and a tiger
+shoot had been organised. All the arrangements were complete; the men
+were sure of success, and speculated which of their number would have
+the luck to kill. The evening before the shoot, a visitor on his way
+from a remote station, arrived in Remyo, and obtained permission to
+accompany the sportsmen. As he was reputed to be a very bad shot this
+was readily given, and there was allotted to him a position well out of
+the expected line of the beat. The tiger broke near the stranger's
+tree, and he killed it with his first shot, the promoters of the shoot
+never even getting a sight of the game.
+
+The criminal impertinence of a mere stranger daring to kill _their_
+tiger roused the deepest feelings of indignation among the Remyoans. The
+laws of hospitality are above all, so the perpetrator of the crime was
+allowed to escape with his life and the tiger skin, but since that day
+strangers have been looked upon as suspicious interlopers, and
+prospective tiger shoots are not discussed in presence of the Casual
+Visitor.
+
+I have given my impressions of the Remyo society candidly, perhaps a
+little too candidly; but lest any who read this book be disposed to hold
+the latter opinion, let me say one thing more.
+
+The first, the last, and the most indelible impression left on my mind
+by all the Anglo-Burmans whom I had the pleasure of meeting, was the
+impression of a kindness, friendliness, and hospitality passing belief.
+The Anglo-Burmans, while retaining the best qualities of the English
+nation, seem to lose entirely that cold and suspicious reserve towards
+strangers, of which we are often so justly accused. They appear to have
+adopted those Eastern laws of hospitality, which lay so great a stress
+on the duty of entertaining strangers, and they cannot do enough to
+welcome those fellow countrymen who visit the land of their exile.
+
+This characteristic kindness of the Anglo-Burmans is so universally
+acknowledged, that it is really superfluous to mention it, but as I
+spent six months among them, without encountering a single unkind look,
+word, or deed, I cannot let the opportunity pass without offering my
+tribute of gratitude to this most kind-hearted and generous people.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+THE BURMESE.
+
+     "We are merry folk who would make all merry as ourselves."--"Yeomen
+     of the Guard."
+
+
+On my first evening in Remyo I was sitting in the drawing-room, waiting
+for the announcement of dinner, when suddenly, the curtain across the
+doorway was pulled aside, and a native peered into the room. His
+movements were rapid and stealthy, and betokened a desire for escape or
+concealment. On seeing me he slipped past the curtain into the room, and
+crouched down, as tho' endeavouring to hide himself from without. Then
+in the same bending attitude, he glided past the uncurtained window,
+across the room where I sat lost in astonishment, and on reaching my
+chair, sank on to his knees, placed his raised hands together in a
+supplicating manner, and exclaimed in a deferential and prayerful voice
+"Sarsiar."!
+
+For a moment I stared at him in wonder, unable to comprehend his
+attitude; and then in a flash I understood all.
+
+He was in terrible danger, someone was pursuing him; to escape he had
+slipped into the house, and was now imploring me to conceal or to defend
+him. I had no thought of hesitation, whatever might be his crime he must
+not be left to the rough justice of his pursuers, he must be protected
+until the matter could be properly inquired into.
+
+I sprang up and hurried to the window to reconnoitre; four natives stood
+in the road; no one else was in sight; perhaps the pursuers were already
+in the house.
+
+"Sarsiar, sarsiar, thekinma," he repeated, (or something that sounded
+like that).
+
+"All right, all right" I said soothingly: "don't be frightened, you're
+safe here," and so saying I quietly bolted the outer door, fastened the
+windows, and proceeded to put the room in a state of defence. My
+presence of mind evidently astonished him, he stared at me a moment and
+once more took up his cry of "Sarsiar, sarsiar".
+
+"It doesn't matter though a dozen Sarsiars are after you," I cried
+impatiently: "you are quite safe here; so tell me who is this "Sarsiar,"
+and what have you done to him?"
+
+But the wretched man only became still more excited, he crouched lower
+than ever, he waved his arms, and burst into a torrent of Burmese
+eloquence, in which again and again, occurred the name of his pursuer,
+of this much dreaded "Sarsiar."
+
+At last, being quite unable to either comprehend or calm him, I called
+aloud to my sister to come and reassure him in his own tongue. She came,
+exchanged a few hurried remarks with the fugitive, and then, to my utter
+astonishment and indignation, burst out laughing. I angrily demanded an
+explanation, and when she had recovered, she gave it.
+
+The native was no terrified victim, flying from a savage foe, but the
+head boy announcing that dinner was ready!
+
+The stealthy walk, the crouched air of concealment, the supplicating
+attitude, were merely expressions of respect, it being quite contrary
+to the Burman's idea of politeness to raise his head above that of his
+master.
+
+This excessive politeness on the part of the Burman is highly
+commendable, but apt to be inconvenient. It is embarrassing to be waited
+on by a man who persists in scuttling about with his body bent almost
+double, and who sinks on his knees on every available occasion; it gives
+him an air of instability. Some were so full of respect as to dismount
+from their ponies and walk past the "Thekins" when they met us in the
+road. It must delay business immensely, but no true Burman would allow
+himself to be influenced by such a minor consideration.
+
+The Burman is much given to contemplation. He is frequently seized with
+a fit of meditation in the midst of most important work, and will sit
+for hours, immovable, gazing steadily into vacancy, puffing at his huge
+cheroot, and thinking.
+
+So, history relates, did Socrates sit for three days and nights, but
+Socrates, poor man, had no cheroot to soothe him. The results of
+Socrates' meditation on that particular occasion are unknown; so too are
+the results of the rapt meditations of the Burman. Never by word or deed
+does he betray what thoughts occupy his mind on these ever recurring
+occasions, but someday, who knows? he may be moved to speak, and then
+where will be the wisdom of the East and of the West, when compared with
+the wisdom of this contemplative nation? Surely it will become small and
+of no account, and be no more thought on!
+
+For these fits of meditation are undoubtedly inspired! They may overtake
+him at any time, absorbingly, unexpectedly, in a manner highly
+inconvenient to all with whom he may come in contact.
+
+I say he is liable continually to such attacks, but certain
+surroundings, and circumstances seem more conducive than others to such
+contemplative meditation.
+
+For example, if despatched on an important message, such an attack
+almost invariably seizes him, and the messenger will remain for hours,
+seated by the road side lost in thought, while his impatient master
+sits raging and fuming at home, waiting in vain for an answer to his
+note. On such an occasion the Burman loses all sense of time, and his
+expression of naive astonishment, and patient martyr-like sufferance,
+when blamed for his delay, is utterly disarming.
+
+Again, the dusting of a room is most conducive to meditation. I have
+frequently seen a native stand for half an hour or more, immovable,
+duster in hand, gazing from the window, lost in abstraction. But this
+trait, I am told by English housewives, is not confined to Burmese
+servants alone. Dusting, I conclude, has a soothing effect on the
+nerves.
+
+When the Burman does work, he works with an energy and violence which is
+as astonishing as it is unnecessary. To see a loogalay in his energetic
+movements, dusting or tidying a room is a lesson to sluggards.
+
+He takes his stand in the centre of the room, and performs a series of
+wonderfully intricate and far reaching flag signals with the duster.
+Then, after clearing away the broken china and other debris, he slowly
+makes a tour of the room, striking violently at each article of
+furniture once or twice with the corner of the afore-mentioned duster,
+and shaking the same menacingly in the face of every picture and
+ornament. Then he turns upside down the books and papers, carefully
+hides his mistress's work bag, and his master's favourite pipe,
+rearranges the furniture and the ornaments, which have come through
+scatheless, to suit his own taste, and the room is finished. In the
+matter of floor washing the Burman as a rule prefers to carry out the
+precepts stated in Mr. Chevallier's song: "What's the good of anything?
+Why nothing." To him it appears an act of supererogation to wash to-day
+the floor, which must certainly be dirtied again on the morrow.
+
+But if he be induced, by the stern commands of his mistress to undertake
+the task, then indeed is it a day of mourning and discomfort for the
+whole household. No spring cleaning carried on by the most
+uncompromising and unsympathetic British matron, can approach the misery
+and upset caused by Burmese floor washing.
+
+Every male member of the establishment, from the coolie who is mending
+the compound path, to the head boy, is recruited to the work, and
+reinforcements of "brothers" from the village are called in to assist.
+Every piece of furniture in the place is turned upside down, and then
+large cans of water are upset "promiscuous like" here and there, until
+the whole house is deluged. This accomplished, the concourse of servants
+commences to paddle about the house, rescuing books and cushions from
+the ravages of the flood, and flapping at the water with cloth and
+brooms. No definite scheme is adopted, but the chief idea seems to be to
+wet as much of the floor, walls, and furniture as possible. After this
+amusement has been pursued for about three hours, the floods are swept
+away through the drawing-room and out at the front door, and the damp
+and exhausted servants, after proudly announcing: "Floor much clean
+now, missis," retire triumphant, to rest their weary limbs for the
+remainder of the day. We did not often indulge our desire for
+cleanliness in this respect.
+
+The Burman is a great lover of ceremonies and processions. On certain
+festival days long picturesque pageants wind thro' the villages on their
+way to the pagodas; cart after cart drawn by gaily decorated bullocks
+and filled with brightly dressed occupants, many of whom wear fancy
+disguises, and dance and posture during the whole of the ride.
+
+It is a strange sight to see "grave and reverend seigneurs" from the
+village, arrayed in the most extraordinary costumes, reminding one of an
+English Guy Fawkes procession, standing at the front of a cart,
+posturing and pulling faces, in a manner that would be ludicrous, were
+it not so evidently full of meaning and solemnity. Imitation boats,
+dragons and beasts of all sorts take part in these processions, which
+for grotesqueness, brilliance of colour, and originality of arrangement
+are equalled only in a Drury Lane pantomime or the Lord Mayor's Show.
+But the soul of the Burman is not satisfied with his great half yearly
+festivals, nor even with the smaller festivities that take place at
+every birth, wedding, death, "ear-boring," or other ceremonious
+occasion. He seeks ever for other opportunities for procession and
+masquerade.
+
+Our Burmese servants found vent for their feelings in waiting at table.
+They performed their duties with as much stateliness and ceremony as
+time, and our impatient appetites would permit.
+
+No dish, plate, or spoon was brought without the co-operation of the
+three loogalays who were in attendance, and the lord chamberlain himself
+could not have conducted the course of the meal with more dignity than
+did our Burmese butler.
+
+But the greatest triumph was achieved at breakfast time when we partook
+of boiled eggs. The clink of the cups, followed by a hush of expectancy
+heralded what was coming. The purdah would be drawn aside by an unseen
+hand, and the procession would march solemnly into the room, the three
+loogalays, one behind the other, bearing each in his hand a very large
+dinner plate, in the centre of which stood a small egg in its humble
+egg-cup.
+
+Into the room and round the table they would march, then dividing, each
+with a bow deposited his precious burden before the person for whom it
+was intended, after which the procession was again formed, and
+disappeared slowly behind the curtain: all this with an air of solemnity
+and display that would not have disgraced a royal levee. Why this
+ceremony was confined to eggs, why the porridge and bacon were not
+equally favoured I cannot tell, I merely state the facts as I observed
+them, leaving the explanation to others more discerning than I.
+
+The greatest treat our own loogalays ever enjoyed in this respect was
+brought about one day by a slight mistake I made in giving an order to
+Po-Sin, the head butler. My grasp of the language being but slight, my
+speech was often a trifle faulty, but I gave orders with a vigorous
+confidence, and aided by gesture and "pigeon English" I imagined that I
+made myself tolerably comprehensible. On the occasion to which I refer,
+I had prepared my sentence elaborately, and summoning Po-Sin, I informed
+him that his master would be at home and would want tea at three
+o'clock. There must have been some mistake somewhere. Possibly, I
+confused the word meaning "office" with the Burmese for "three o'clock."
+But whatever be the explanation, about a quarter of an hour later,
+chancing to look out of the window, I beheld a procession winding its
+way along the road to the Court House, and bearing with it our afternoon
+tea equipage displayed to the highest advantage. At the head marched
+Po-Sin, proudly brandishing the teapot, then Po-Mya bearing the muffins,
+Po Thin with the tray and tea-cups, and behind, in regular order, the
+other numerous members of our establishment, each bearing some dish,
+jug, or spoon. They had gone too far to be overtaken, tho' they walked
+with becoming dignity, so with deep foreboding, I watched them disappear
+round the corner of the road leading to the Court House.
+
+Presently I saw the disconcerted procession returning, headed this time
+by my infuriated brother-in-law, who had been interrupted in the midst
+of an important case, by the solemn entrance of the tea bearers. The
+servants looked depressed and disappointed. I think they had hoped the
+procession might be a weekly affair. Like "Brer Rabbit," I prudently lay
+low until my brother's wrath had exhausted itself.
+
+The Burman has the reputation of being a keen sportsman, and certainly,
+his excitement is intense on every sporting occasion, especially in
+games of strength and skill. But he does not excel in these. His
+intentions are doubtless good, but he lacks pluck and determination.
+
+This is especially evident when a loogalay fields for his master at
+cricket. He will watch the game with deepest interest, loudly applauding
+every hit, and when the ball speeds in his direction his excitement and
+pride are unbounded. He runs to meet it with outstretched arms, shouting
+wildly, then, as the ball nears him, and the audience hold their
+breath, expecting a wonderful catch or piece of fielding, he quietly
+steps aside, allows the ball to fly past him, and then trots gently
+after it, overtaking it some few yards over the boundary. His fellow
+natives view the performance with pride, and yell with admiration when
+he finally secures the ball and, carrying it within an easy throwing
+distance of the pitch, rolls it gently back to the bowler.
+
+The interest taken by the natives in football is overpowering, and a
+spectator has been known to stick a knife into the calf of one of the
+most active of the players on the opposing side, who happened to be
+standing near the "touch line." A new and unexpected source of danger in
+the football field.
+
+The two chief drawbacks to the Burman servant are, firstly, his intense
+self-satisfaction and conceit, and secondly, his intolerable
+superstition.
+
+It is impossible to find fault with a Burman. He receives all complaints
+with a look of such absolute astonishment and reproach that the
+complainant is at once disarmed. In his own eyes the Burman can do no
+wrong, and if other folk do not entirely concur in this opinion, that is
+their misfortune and not his fault. He is always quite pleased with
+himself, and regards with a pitying contempt all who are not equally so.
+
+Overpowering superstition is a deeply rooted characteristic of the race,
+and I rather suspect, a very convenient one occasionally. The Burman
+will do nothing on an unlucky day or hour, and in awaiting the
+propitious moment, the duty is frequently left undone altogether. This
+is apt to be inconvenient to others, if the duty in question be the
+delivery of an important message, or the preparation of dinner. But I
+have sometimes wondered whether this particular superstition might not
+advantageously be introduced into England, where it would be so
+exceedingly useful to the school boy at the end of the holidays, and to
+many other folk besides.
+
+In private life the Burman carries his superstition to a ridiculous
+extent. No ceremony can take place, no festival be held, the building
+of a house cannot even be commenced until the wise man has declared the
+hour and place to be propitious.
+
+All sorts of magical contrivances to prevent the entrance of wicked
+"nats" and other evil spirits, are erected outside nearly every house
+and village, and charms and horoscopes are believed in absolutely by all
+save the best educated Burmans.
+
+They are a fickle people. Their lives being uneventful they love to vary
+them by constant small changes, and to enliven them by the excitement of
+gambling, which is the great vice of the country. We had a Burmese maid
+who displayed this love of change to a most astonishing degree. After
+being with us about two months she suddenly announced one morning that
+she had fever and must go and rest. Accordingly she disappeared for
+several days, and when we sent to enquire after her we learnt that she
+had recovered from her attack of fever, but was coming back to us no
+more, as she had got married. In about a fortnight she reappeared,
+saying calmly that she was now tired of being married, and was quite
+ready to return to her work after her little change.
+
+Though he strongly objects to work himself the Burman likewise objects
+to see anyone else work. Whenever I endeavoured to clean my bicycle, our
+loogalays were terribly grieved. They sought me out in the quiet corner
+to which I had retired, and stood round me with the most shocked
+expressions, waving brooms and dusters, and beseeching me by all their
+most expressive gestures to leave the task to them. Sometimes they
+embarrassed me so much by all these attentions that I was obliged to
+consent, but always felt sorry afterwards; they are not satisfactory
+bicycle cleaners. The handle bars they polished again and again, but the
+rest of the machine struck them as uninteresting, and they left it
+severely alone.
+
+My experience of the Burman was not confined altogether to our own
+servants, there were many in the village with whom I had a bowing
+acquaintance, but owing to my ignorance of the language I could not
+hope to become intimate with them and their families.
+
+They appeared to take a great interest in us and our possessions. Two
+little Burmese ladies in particular, wives of the chief men of the
+village, paid us constant visits. They would bring us presents of
+flowers and vegetables, offer these, and then sit on the floor and stare
+resolutely at us for the space of half an hour, at the end of which time
+they would suddenly make a profound obeisance and depart.
+
+Conversation was impossible, as neither party knew the other's language,
+but we found this silent contemplation so embarrassing, that, after
+enduring it twice, we endeavoured on the third visit to entertain them
+by showing them pictures, trinkets, or anything we thought might amuse
+them. But with no great success; they admired the things and then
+immediately returned to their former occupation of staring, until at
+last I thought of the piano (which at that time was still in a healthy
+condition), opened it, and began to play. That interested them
+immensely, as they could not understand whence the sound came. They
+would stand happily for any length of time, gingerly striking a note,
+and listening to the tone with the greatest wonder and delight.
+
+But what pleased them more than anything was a china doll, belonging to
+my little niece, which shut and opened its eyes. Such a marvel had never
+been seen before, and the day after our visitors had discovered it, a
+large deputation from the village waited upon us, with a request to see
+the wonder. As from that time the doll frequently disappeared for a day
+or two, we rather suspected the ayah was turning an honest penny, by
+borrowing it to hire out for exhibition at various villages round,
+whither the rumour of its fame had already spread.
+
+Our visitors took the greatest interest in our garments, and when their
+first shyness had worn off, would subject our costumes to a minute
+examination that was a little trying.
+
+They always arrayed themselves in their best garments when they came to
+see us, and very dainty they looked in their bright dresses of pink,
+green, or yellow silk, with flowers and ornaments in their black hair.
+The Burmese ladies are deservedly described as charming, and they
+understand the art of dress, and blending colours to perfection. They
+are reported to be very witty and amusing, as well as charming in
+appearance, and certainly when my brother happened to be at home on the
+occasion of their visits, they chattered to him very merrily, and seemed
+to thoroughly enjoy their talk with an Englishman.
+
+Another visitor of ours was the thugyi, (the head man of the village), a
+very fine looking old man with one of the handsomest heads I have ever
+seen. He was taller than the majority of Burmans, and in the flowing
+white garments which he always wore, presented a splendid picture which
+I longed to paint. His manners were stately and dignified, and he
+treated us with the most royal courtesy, as though he were an emperor
+at least.
+
+The chief hpoongyi (priest) of Remyo was a dear old man, with a
+beautifully tender expression. At his invitation we all went to visit
+him one day, and he showed us over the kyaung, with its numerous images,
+bell, and quaint pictures of saints and devils. He was an enthusiastic
+gardener and showed us proudly over his domain, giving us much advice on
+the management of plants, and offering to transplant anything we admired
+to our own garden. A hpoongyi's life must be very peaceful and happy,
+though perhaps a trifle dull. His chief occupation seems to be
+meditation, which to us western folk appears distinctly monotonous.
+
+Visits to the native bazaar afford endless amusement. Natives of all
+descriptions are gathered there, and the scene is most varied. The
+picturesque Burmans, giggling Chinese, chattering Madrassees, stately
+Parsees, solemn-faced Shans, and many other nationalities, swarm in the
+narrow streets and round the stalls of the bazaar. The stalls are large
+platforms raised about three feet from the ground, with overhanging
+roofs. The seller sits in the middle of his stall with his wares spread
+round him, and keeps up a running flow of conversation the whole day
+long.
+
+There never appeared to be much to purchase in the Remyo bazaar except a
+few silks and the most unpalatable looking foods, but I delighted to go
+there in order to watch the people. "Bazaar day," to the Burman is one
+big joke, and he enjoys it thoroughly. The girls wear their most
+becoming costumes, and seated in the midst of their lovely silks, form a
+picture dainty enough to attract any man's attention. They are charming,
+and are quite aware of the fact.
+
+I ventured down once or twice to the bazaar with my camera, but they did
+not understand it, and regarded me with suspicion; indeed, the mother of
+one little Shan laddie, whose picture I wished to take, worked herself
+up into such a state of wrath and terror that I was obliged to desist. I
+fancy she thought I was bewitching the poor little fellow.
+
+My private opinion is, that in revenge for my attempt on her son, she
+must have induced one of their wise men to curse my kodak, for though I
+took photographs with great vigour and confidence during my travels, not
+a single one of them developed. It is a singularly distressing
+employment to sit long hours in a stuffy dark room, developing
+photographs which steadily refuse to develop. I have met with many sad
+experiences in my long and chequered career, but I think this was the
+most disappointing.
+
+
+My one attempt at shopping by gesture in the bazaar was not an
+unqualified success. I selected an aged and kindly looking stall keeper,
+and proceeded to collect together in a heap the few small articles I
+desired to purchase. During this proceeding she watched my actions with
+astonishment and some suspicion, but the latter feeling was set at rest
+when I produced a rupee and offered it to her. She took it, and while
+she sought the change, I pocketed my purchases.
+
+[Illustration: NATIVE BAZAAR AT REMYO]
+
+But when she returned, her face expressed the greatest consternation,
+and she burst into a torrent of Burmese. Quite at a loss to understand
+her, I hurriedly offered her more money, but she refused it with scorn,
+and continued her explanations and entreaties, in which the numerous
+spectators of the scene presently joined, laughing as though it were the
+greatest joke in the world.
+
+Presently the old lady picked up a bobbin of cotton, such as I had just
+bought, and waved it frantically in my face; I mechanically took it and
+pocketed it also. At this action on my part the spectators became still
+more hilarious, but the old lady looked annoyed, evidently considering
+the matter was getting beyond a joke.
+
+At last, in desperation, I pulled out all my purchases and flung them on
+the stall. To my astonishment this proved to be precisely what she
+desired; the good lady beamed with satisfaction, gathered them together
+with her own fair hands, and returned them, and my change, to me with
+many bows and smiles. I do not know to this day what was the reason of
+her excitement. Judging by the intense amusement it caused the
+spectators, I should say the story will serve as a popular after dinner
+anecdote for many generations of Burmans.
+
+
+I do not think anyone but a Burman could find much amusement in their
+dearly beloved Pwes. The dances, composed entirely of posturing and
+grouping, are most monotonous, and the music is distinctly an unpleasant
+noise from a European point of view. Yet these easily satisfied folk
+crowd to such entertainments (which occasionally last many days) and
+camp out round the temporary building in which they are performed. They
+seem to derive the greatest enjoyment from watching these interminable
+performances, following the inevitable dramatic "Prince and Princess"
+through their adventures, and chuckling over the vulgar jokes of the
+clown.
+
+The Burman loves to laugh. He is as equally amused at a fire or a
+drowning fatality in real life, as when in the play the clown trips up
+a fellow actor.
+
+His proneness to laughter is annoying sometimes, especially if one
+misses a drive at golf, or falls down stairs (either of which
+misfortunes appear to him very droll) but on the whole his keen
+appreciation of "humour" helps him very comfortably through life.
+
+We modern Europeans may think we have a higher sense of humour than
+these simple folk; but who is to judge?
+
+The Burman is, perhaps, after all that truest philosopher who finds
+latent humour in all things, and makes the most of it--still, I pray
+that, for his sake, his keenness of appreciation may not become more
+highly developed, or some day he will meet a pun, and it will kill him.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+ENTERTAINING.
+
+     "Thou didst eat strange flesh
+     Which some did die to look on."
+
+
+Entertaining is nervous work, as all the world knows. The anxiety is
+considerably increased in a small country station like Remyo, because
+one cannot be sure that the rats will not devour the food beforehand, or
+that the cook will not take that opportunity of having "fever," a polite
+synonym for getting drunk, much in use among Burman servants.
+
+The dinner party is the most general form of entertainment in Remyo, but
+not of very frequent occurrence; the reasons being, the limited number
+of available guests and the restricted nature of the menu. No sane
+person would dream of inviting another sane person to dine upon nothing
+but Burmese chicken, even displayed in various disguises from soup to
+savoury.
+
+Once a week beef can be obtained, so dinner parties are usually given
+on "beef days." Should an invitation arrive for another date, great
+excitement prevails as to what special delicacy has been procured.
+
+Once we were presented with a peacock, and gave a dinner party to
+celebrate the event, the peacock itself being the chief item of the
+celebration. Our guests arrived full of anticipation of some unknown
+treat; we received them "big with pride."
+
+But alas! the vanity of human hopes. During the early part of the
+dinner, over the chicken entrees, the conversation turned upon the
+relative merits as food of various kinds of fowl. One of our guests, a
+man full of information on every subject, interesting and otherwise,
+suddenly announced cheerfully:
+
+"One bird I may tell you is not fit for human food, and that bird is a
+peacock."
+
+Thereupon ensued an awful pause, in the midst of which the servants
+entered, carrying the peacock in all its glory.
+
+Nothing could be done. The bird was shorn of its tail, so to relieve
+our guest's mind we alluded to it as "goose," but no one could have been
+for an instant deceived. And the worst of it was, our guest was quite
+right, it was not fit for human food.
+
+Another source of anxiety on giving a dinner party in Remyo is the
+decoration of the table. A Burmese loogalay has his own ideas about
+table decorations, and these ideas he will carry out, even if to do so
+obliges him to leave all his other work undone. In vain we may try to
+explain that we prefer to arrange the flowers ourselves, he looks
+pained, waits till we have completed our arrangements and have retired
+to dress, and then pounces upon the table and places his own elaborate
+decorations on the top of what we fondly imagined a triumph of artistic
+arrangement.
+
+And his decorations are indeed elaborate; round every piece of glass,
+china, or cutlery he weaves a marvellous pattern, sometimes in bits of
+bracken, sometimes in coloured beads or rice, and occasionally in rose
+petals. When all is finished, the table looks like a kaleidoscope, and
+one is afraid to move a spoon or glass lest the design be destroyed.
+
+On Christmas eve a large and important dinner party was given by some
+old inhabitants of the station. All the Europeans were invited, and it
+was intended that the evening should be spent in jovial and merry games
+like a typical Christmas eve at home. But alas! never was an
+entertainment beset with greater difficulties.
+
+In the first place, nearly all the guests upon whom we most depended for
+amusement sent word that they had fever. We suspected that fever at the
+time, and suspected it still more next day, when we heard of a jovial
+bachelor gathering that same evening in the house of one of the stricken
+ones.
+
+Then the weather was not cheering. It was a terribly cold night, and the
+houses in Remyo, being mostly of Government design, consequently the
+same for both hills and plains, are not calculated to keep out the
+cold; there are large chinks in the unpapered walls, and few of the
+doors and windows will shut. In this particular house there was no fire
+place, only a small stove which gave out about as much warmth as a
+spirit kettle. We all felt grateful to our host and hostess for their
+hospitality, and did our best to be entertained and entertaining in our
+turn, but it is hard to keep up a cheerful appearance and jovial
+spirits, in evening dress, in a mat house, with no fire and the
+temperature almost down to freezing point.
+
+We played games such as "Kitchen Furniture" and "Family Post" which
+necessitated plenty of movement, and gave every one in turn an
+opportunity of occupying the chair by the stove.
+
+That part of the evening which I enjoyed most was when I made the mulled
+claret. I had no idea how to make it, but I should obtain uninterrupted
+possession of the stove during the operation, so I volunteered for the
+task. I put the claret, and anything suitable and "Christmassy," I could
+think of, into a saucepan, and stirred it over the stove until the
+other guests became suspicious, and I was forced to abandon my warm
+post.
+
+I did not like the result at all, and I noticed the other guests lost
+interest in it as a drink after the first sip, though they clung to
+their glasses, using them as impromptu hand warming pans.
+
+But what proved the greatest check upon the enjoyment of the evening was
+the great anxiety of the guests for the welfare of the furniture.
+
+Our host and hostess were on the point of leaving the station, and as is
+the custom, had sold their furniture to the other residents, though they
+retained it in their house until departure. Now when one has just
+bought, and paid for, say, a set of drawing room chairs, or china
+ornaments, one does not enjoy seeing the former subjected to the rough
+usage of a game of "Bumps" nor the latter endangered by a game of Ball.
+Consequently, each and all were busily engaged during the evening in
+protecting their prospective possessions, and had little opportunity of
+abandoning themselves to enjoyment.
+
+One very amusing instance of this was the behaviour of the new owners of
+the carpet. It was a poor carpet, old, faded, and thread-bare, but it
+was the only carpet in the station and the recent purchasers regarded it
+with pride. They looked anxious all the evening, when chairs were
+dragged about over weak spots, and peg glasses were placed in dangerous
+proximity to restless feet.
+
+But the climax of their concern was reached when "Snap dragon" was
+proposed. The game was hailed with delight by every one (there really is
+a little imaginary warmth in the flame), but the contempt of the
+carpet-owners was unbounded. They said nothing, but looked volumes; they
+did not join in the game, but crawled about the ground round the
+revellers, busily engaged in picking up the numerous raisins scattered
+on the floor, forcibly holding back feet which threatened to crush the
+greasy fruit, and showing by all means in their power that they
+considered "Snap dragon" a most foolish amusement.
+
+Small wonder, considering all these disadvantageous circumstances, that
+the Christmas party was not an unqualified success, and that the cold
+and weary guests, plodding home in the early hours of Christmas morning,
+mentally vowed that such wild dissipation was not good for them and
+should never again be repeated.
+
+Dances are necessarily unknown in such a small station as Remyo. An
+energetic bachelor did once make an effort to give one, but as the only
+available room was the ticket office at the railway station, the only
+available music the bagpipes of the Goorkhas, and the only available
+ladies five in number, he was reluctantly obliged to abandon the
+project.
+
+A much enduring form of entertainment in Remyo is the musical afternoon,
+or evening party. The inhabitants assemble in turns at one of the three
+houses which boast a piano; but the repertoire of the combined station
+is limited, and as every one expects to sing on these occasions
+(ignorance of time and tune being considered no drawback), and further,
+intends to sing one or other of the few songs most popular in the
+station, things are not in any sense as harmonious as they should be.
+
+This great eagerness to perform entailed much manoeuvring to obtain
+first possession of the piano, and it was amusing to watch the
+expressions of mingled indignation and scorn on the faces of others less
+fortunate, when they recognised the prelude to what they each claimed as
+their own particular song.
+
+The singer's triumph, however, was not without compensating
+disadvantages, his efforts being assisted by a distinctly audible chorus
+in undertone which would cling to him throughout the song in spite of
+his endeavours to throw off the encumbrance by means of abrupt changes
+of tempo, and variations in the air; and this professed appreciation of
+the performance evoked from the singer such gratitude as one would
+expect under the circumstances.
+
+No! On the whole we did not "entertain" much in Remyo; we contented
+ourselves with quiet, domestic lives, enlivened but occasionally by such
+outbursts of wild revelry as I have described.
+
+[Illustration: Decoration]
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+ADVENTURES.
+
+     "Things are seldom what they seem"--"H.M.S. Pinafore."
+
+     "I haven't braved any dangers, but I feel as if I knew all about
+     it"--(Rudyard Kipling.)
+
+
+But all this time I am wandering from the real subject of this book,
+_i.e._, myself and my adventures, and as wandering from the straight
+path is an unpardonable error, it behoves me to return speedily to my
+subject, and recount a few of the soul-stirring incidents which befell
+me during some of my many bicycling expeditions alone into the depths of
+the jungle.
+
+This bicycling out of sight of human habitation, into the depths of the
+jungle, sounds rather a brave and fearless proceeding, so I will not
+correct the statement, but in parenthesis, as it were, I will remark
+that once only did I venture more than half a mile from Remyo, and that
+whenever I had turned the corner of the circular road, which shut out
+the last view of my brother's house, my heart sank, and I became a prey
+to the most agonising fears. Every instant I expected a tiger to bound
+upon me from the jungle at the side of the road, a cobra to dart out its
+ugly head from the overhanging branch of a tree, or a body of dacoits to
+pounce down upon me and carry me off to their lair in triumph. My mind
+was filled with useless speculation as to whether I and my bicycle would
+be swifter than a panther, and with what "honeyed words of wisdom" I
+should best allay the wrath of the "Burman run amuck," should fate throw
+one of these in my way.
+
+I derived no pleasure from that lonely mile and a half of the circular
+road, which must be traversed before again arriving at the haunts of
+civilisation; I never entered upon it without a shiver of nervous
+expectation, or left it behind without a sigh of relief, and yet I was
+forced by my overweening craving for adventure, to ride out at every
+opportunity to explore this dreary waste of jungle! Like the great
+"Tartarin" of "Tarasconnasian" memory, my "Don Quixote" spirit drove me
+to seek adventures, however gruesome, while my "Sancho Panza" mind ever
+timidly pined for home and safety.
+
+
+The first time my Quixotic expectations were fulfilled, was one evening
+when I was riding later than usual. The sun had set, and the short
+eastern twilight was rapidly darkening into night. I was cycling along
+quickly, eager to reach home before being overtaken by the gathering
+darkness, when suddenly, on turning a corner of the road, I saw, about a
+hundred yards in front of me, a long black thing, presumably a python,
+stretching half across the road, and curving up its huge head, as though
+ready to attack.
+
+I do not suppose any bicycle ever stopped so abruptly as mine did at
+that moment, and I must confess that my descent from the machine was
+rapid rather than graceful.
+
+After I had sorted myself and the bicycle, I stood up, my senses
+somewhat steadied by the sudden contact with mother earth, and
+considered the situation. The python did not appear to have moved much,
+and had, apparently, as yet taken no notice of my appearance; could it
+be asleep? I suppose pythons do sleep sometimes?
+
+If I turned back, behind me lay three miles and more of jungle bordered
+road, full of endless possible dangers, which must be traversed before
+reaching safety, and it was growing so dark. In front, if I could but
+pass the python, I had but a quarter of a mile to ride and I should be
+in Remyo. I felt that I positively dared not face that long, dark, ride
+back; but dare I face the python? It still made no sign of movement; but
+possibly it was shamming sleep.
+
+Then suddenly there came to me in my need, not a mysterious voice, but a
+timely recollection. It was a recollection of one of the stories told me
+by the versatile policeman; a story of how he had behaved successfully
+under similar circumstances, except that in his case the obstacle was a
+leopard. I determined to follow his example.
+
+Summoning all my courage to assist me in performing this fearsome deed,
+I mounted my bicycle, and with beating heart and trembling limbs, I rode
+straight towards the reptile, ringing my bell, shouting, and making as
+much noise and commotion as possible. Straight on I rode, almost
+desperate with fear,----and then suddenly I ceased to shout, I stayed my
+reckless pace, and finished my ride in gloomy silence, for on nearer
+inspection the mighty python, the object of all my terror, turned out to
+be nothing more alarming than the fallen branch of a tree.
+
+Another adventure (which but for my habitual prudence might have ended
+more seriously) befell me at almost exactly the same spot, but in the
+day time. I was riding along cheerfully, feeling particularly brave,
+when suddenly I beheld about a quarter of a mile in front of me three
+strange beasts.
+
+They rather resembled to my mind rhinoceri, but each had two horns. I
+had never seen them before (I have no particular desire ever to see them
+again) and I had not the least notion what they might be; whether wild
+beasts of the jungle or tame household pets, but their personal
+appearance rather suggested the former. I dismounted hastily, and
+considered the matter. I did not wish to appear cowardly, even to my
+bicycle; on the other hand, being of a peaceful nature, I had no desire
+to enter into a hand-to-hoof struggle with three utterly unknown
+quantities.
+
+On they came, usurping the whole of the road, with a sort of
+"push-me-aside-if-you-dare" look about them, which I found particularly
+unpleasant. Their gait was rolling and pompous, but they occasionally
+relieved the monotony of their progress by prodding one another
+playfully with their horns. This engaging playfulness of disposition did
+not appeal to me.
+
+But I remembered the python incident, and scorned my fears, I would go
+on and face the beasts. I remounted, looked again at the horns of the
+advancing animals, thought of my family and friends, and then, somehow,
+my bicycle seemed to turn round by itself, and I found myself speeding
+as quickly in the opposite direction as any record breaker who ever
+rode.
+
+On arriving home, I casually mentioned what I had encountered, and
+learned that my friends were "water buffalos," animals of the mildest
+disposition unless roused, but when roused, most unpleasant to
+encounter. They have frequently been known to pick up a dog with their
+horns, and break its bones over their backs. They can pick a mosquito
+off their backs with the tip of their horns, in fact they are quite
+skilled in the use of the latter, and had I not luckily decided to ride
+in the opposite direction when I encountered these enterprising beasts,
+they would, doubtless, have experienced no difficulty whatever in
+puncturing my tyre!
+
+Ostensibly, their duty in this life is to draw the plough, but in
+reality they fulfil a far higher mission. To them, and to them only, it
+is given to draw contempt upon the superiority of the Anglo Indian: to
+compass the fall of the mighty.
+
+For no sooner does a European appear riding in his pride by the river
+bed, where the water buffalo lies wallowing in the mud, than all the
+worst passions awake in the breast of the afore mentioned water
+buffalo, and he is instantly aroused to anger. He leaves the delights of
+the mud bath, and starts in pursuit of the white face, no matter who he
+may be. "Tell it not in Gath" but the water buffalo, being no respector
+of persons, has even been known to put to ignominious flight the "Indian
+Civilian" and the "Bombay Burman." The pursuit is long and determined,
+the attack almost inevitable, unless the pursued be rescued by the
+opportune advent of a native, for to the water buffalo the word of the
+Burman is law, while the word of the Anglo Indian is a mere nothing.
+
+This then, "the scorning of the great ones," would seem to be the
+purpose of the water buffalos upon this earth. "How are the mighty
+fallen"! when the highest among the ruling race must trust for rescue to
+the interference of a five year old Burman.
+
+
+One day, late in the afternoon, I sallied forth on my bicycle to a spot
+half a mile down the Mandalay road, where I had noticed a specially
+beautifully blossomed wild cherry tree. My intention was to rob the tree
+of its treasure, and bear the blossom home in triumph to decorate our
+drawing room for a dinner party that evening.
+
+The place was quite deserted, so finding I could not reach the blossoms
+from the ground, I leant my bicycle against the tree trunk, and after
+much scrambling, and one or two falls, I succeeded in climbing the tree,
+and began to gather the flowers.
+
+So absorbed was I in my two-fold task of holding on to my precarious
+perch, and breaking the branches of blossom, that I did not notice what
+was going on below. Imagine then my horror and astonishment, on looking
+down, to find my tree surrounded by about a dozen of the most
+extraordinary looking natives I had ever beheld. Their clothing was most
+scanty and they were covered from head to foot with elaborate "tattoo."
+They wore tremendously large Shan hats, their hair was long and matted,
+their teeth were red with betel juice, and most of them were armed with
+long Burmese "dahs" (knives). They had come silently along the road out
+of the jungle, and now stood in a circle round my tree, pointing,
+staring, and chattering vigorously in an unknown tongue.
+
+Evidently I had fallen into the hands of a band of dacoits, and to judge
+by their appearance, they were gloating over their capture.
+
+It was no dream this time--I assured myself of that by a series of
+violent and judicious pinches; no! it was grim, very grim, earnest.
+Escape appeared impossible. I told them in as much strong English as I
+could remember, to go away, but they neither understood nor heeded. I
+tried to recollect my Burmese, but could only remember words referring
+to food, and thought it better not to put that idea into their heads;
+they might be cannibals. I tried one or two shouts, but that made no
+impression on them. There seemed no hope; they still stood there,
+pointing and grinning savagely; they had evidently no intention of
+relinquishing their prey.
+
+Then, trying to smile in a nervous and conciliatory manner, I slowly
+descended the tree. How I longed for false teeth, a glass eye, a wooden
+leg, or some other modern invention, with which people in books of
+adventure are wont to overawe the natives who thirst for their blood.
+Alas! I had nothing of the sort.
+
+I could not, obviously, sit in the tree all night, so sadly and
+doubtfully I descended to throw myself on their mercy.
+
+I reached the ground, and stood with my eyes shut waiting the end.
+
+The end showed no intention of coming, so I opened my eyes, and
+discovered to my astonishment that not I but my bicycle was the object
+of all this attention. I was to them a matter of no interest whatever,
+but the cycle they could not understand.
+
+Joyous with relief I hurriedly demonstrated the workings of my bicycle
+to this party of, not dacoits, but most harmless wood cutters, and then
+mounting rode away, followed for some distance by an awe-struck and
+admiring crowd. My fears as usual were unfounded, but the drawing room
+was not decorated with cherry blossom that or any other evening.
+
+It is difficult, for those to whom the bicycle is now as common as
+blackberries, to imagine the astonishment with which the natives view
+the machine for the first time. In Remyo itself bicycles were well
+known, but frequently on the roads I met strangers from neighbouring
+villages, and the astonishment and terror depicted on their faces when
+they beheld me riding on this unknown thing was almost laughable. They
+would fall back into the ditch with their mouths open, and remain
+staring after me as long as I was in sight.
+
+Once, I remember, I and another lady rode out to a little village in the
+jungle about three miles from Remyo. The road, a mere jungle track, was
+awful, but we succeeded at last in arriving at our destination. We left
+our cycles in the compound of the "hpoongyi kyaung," and climbed a
+neighbouring hill to see a quaint pagoda, which crowned its top. After
+thoroughly examining the pagoda, and the numerous images which surround
+it, we returned to our cycles.
+
+What was our astonishment to find the entire population of the village
+assembled in the compound, all having apparently taken up their
+positions there, preparatory to seeing some entertainment. The Head of
+the village approached us humbly, and in a long speech explained that
+though he (evidently a travelled gentleman) had told his subordinates
+all about the wonderful machines we rode, yet they would not believe
+him. Would we, as a great condescension, mount and ride round the
+compound, that all might see that his words were true.
+
+Willing to oblige him, I consented at once, mounted, and did a little
+"gymkhana business," rather cleverly, I thought, considering the rough
+ground. Imagine my astonishment and indignation, when the whole audience
+became convulsed with merriment, hearty, overwhelming merriment, rolling
+on the ground, and shrieking with laughter. I cannot explain the reason
+of it; I suppose they looked upon me as a sort of travelling acrobat,
+and their laughter was a sign of approbation of my tricks. But I was
+very angry. I had not gone out to Burmah to become the laughing stock
+of ignorant natives, so I said a hasty farewell to the "Thugyi," who
+seemed quite pleased with the reception his companions gave me, and rode
+out of the compound and away, followed by the amused shrieks of my
+audience. I would have shaken the dust of that village from my feet, but
+that is a difficult thing to achieve successfully on a bicycle.
+
+The Burmans are a merry folk, but methinks at times their humour carries
+them too far.
+
+[Illustration: Decoration]
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+BEASTS AND REPTILES.
+
+     The animals came in one by one
+     Till Noah, he thought they would never have done.
+
+     And they all came into the Ark.
+     For to get out of the rain.
+
+
+Rats! Hamlin Town (with Bishop Hatto thrown in) cannot offer a
+comparison with our sufferings from these pestilent vermin.
+
+During the day time they contented themselves with playing in twos and
+threes about the house, getting in the way of our feet, and generally
+making themselves a nuisance. But at night when we had retired to rest,
+they came in their hundreds, from their homes beneath the house, and to
+use an expressive Americanism "simply bought the place."
+
+I am not naturally a "Mrs. Gummidge," but in this instance I am certain
+I suffered more than any others in Remyo. Why the rats should have
+preferred my room I know not, but undoubtedly they did. They gave balls
+every night on my dressing table, and organised athletic sports, chiefly
+hurdle races, on the floor. They had glorious supper parties on my
+trunks, leaving the whole place scattered with half-eaten walnuts, bits
+of biscuit, and morsels of cheese. They had concerts and debating
+societies in the still hours of the night, brawls and squabbles at all
+times; and true to tradition, made nests inside my Sunday hats, helping
+themselves to such of my finery as took their fancy.
+
+As I have said, they came in their hundreds, and I was powerless against
+them. In vain did I sit up in bed and "shoo" and clap my hands, they
+would pause for an instant, as the revellers in Brussels paused when
+they heard the cannon of Quatre Bras, then: "On with the dance let joy
+be unconfined, no sleep till morn when rats and walnuts meet," and the
+noise would become more deafening than ever. I think they grew to enjoy
+my "shooings;" "the more noise the merrier" was evidently their motto;
+but one night when I dozed off after making myself particularly
+disagreeable, a large rat sprang upon my pillow, tore aside the mosquito
+curtains, and hit me violently with its tail. They are revengeful
+creatures.
+
+And what appetites they had? Poison they scoffed at, but ate everything
+else that was not soldered up in tin boxes, (from our Christmas pudding,
+to the Baby's pelisses, and my best gloves). Their most criminal act of
+depredation, was in regard to my brother's pipe. It was a beautifully
+grained pipe which I took out from England for a Christmas present. On
+Christmas Eve the rats penetrated into the drawer where I kept it, tore
+away the wrappings, and set to work. In the morning nothing was left but
+the stem, the perforated and jagged remains of the bowl, and a little
+heap of chawed bits of wood. My brother was very angry when I broke the
+news to him, but it wasn't my fault, they were his rats; he ought to
+have had them under better control.
+
+We got a dog, but he was useless. He was a pariah puppy, of respectable
+parents; a cheery, popular fellow, who had so many evening engagements
+among his friends in the village, that he could scarcely ever spare a
+night at home; and during the day time he mostly slept. My sister and I
+both disliked him, she because he would worry the Baby's legs, I because
+he developed such an unbounded devotion to my shoes.
+
+He never attached himself to other shoes in this way, but mine he would
+not leave alone. He carried some off every day and hid them behind the
+furniture, or if he had a quiet ten minutes to himself, he buried them
+in the compound. Many a long lost shoe did we discover when turning out
+the drawing room, or digging up the flower beds. The others were amused
+at this frolicsome trait, but it was rather a stupid joke really.
+
+I was assured by the inhabitants of Remyo that mosquitos are unknown
+there during the cold weather. If this be really the case, there must
+have been a special pilgrimage, and obviously I was the object of their
+attentions. Fresh from England, they welcomed me with a delight that
+ought to have been highly gratifying; nor could they do enough to show
+their unbounded appreciation of me. I obtained mosquito curtains, but I
+suppose I was clumsy in the manipulation of them, for I spent many a
+lively night in the company of two or three enthusiasts who kept me
+awake by their odious "ping-ping" song, and their still more odious
+attentions.
+
+There is a district in Burmah, I am told, where the cattle are provided
+with mosquito curtains, and I can quite believe it, for if they can be
+so obnoxious in the hills in the cold weather, what must they be in the
+plains in the heat! All creatures have their work in this world, and I
+suppose the mosquito was created to subdue female vanity; one cannot
+well be vain with such a complexion as they gave me.
+
+But let me quit this melancholy subject; it is impossible to be jocular
+with a mosquito, and strong language would be out of place in this book.
+
+Rats are not the only creatures in Remyo with whom we were forced to
+share our meals. The place abounds in ants, beetles, and "creeping
+things innumerable," and all these must live; which necessity we
+recognised, but wished they could live elsewhere.
+
+On the whole, I think the ant is the most objectionable of insects.
+There is a Burmese fable concerning an ant and a lion which tells how
+the ant was rewarded for assistance rendered to the lion, by receiving
+permission to go everywhere, and so that this prerogative may be fully
+exercised, the ant has, apparently, been gifted with matchless ingenuity
+in devising means to overcome all obstacles. Amongst other
+accomplishments it must have acquired the art either of swimming, flying
+or bridge building, for even the dishes of water, in the centre of which
+we placed our meals, were ineffectual.
+
+The worthy Dr. Watts tells us to "go learn of the ant to be prudent and
+wise," but though it is with the most submissive humility that I venture
+to contradict such an authority on natural history as the gifted author
+of "How doth the little busy bee," yet I must confess that I do not
+recognise in the ants the first of the virtues indicated. They
+devastated a full box of chocolates in a single night, which surely was
+hardly prudent, unless they possess iron constitutions.
+
+It was without doubt profitable for us to have constantly before us the
+example of the clever and industrious ant, and we tried to profit
+thereby, but at times we could not help feeling that the sluggard would
+have been the more acceptable companion; the ant is so painfully
+energetic, especially in the matter of absorbing food--the sluggard, I
+feel sure, had more regard for his digestion.
+
+I never learned to distinguish the names of the innumerable crawling
+creatures whom we met at table at meal times. Their sole characteristic
+is greed, and they kept me continually reminded of the plagues of
+Egypt, for they came in unlimited numbers, settling on the food,
+darkening the air with their numberless forms, and devouring everything
+eatable! They are eminently objectionable, and I defy the most devout
+lover of natural history and "beasties" generally, to find any pleasure
+in their society.
+
+One evening I was dining out, and towards the middle of dinner I
+perceived a large, hideous object nestling among the profuse flower
+decorations on the table. It didn't appear to me a very pleasant table
+companion, but as no one else remarked it, and as I dislike appearing
+disconcerted by the habits of strange countries, I said nothing about it
+so long as the creature remained quiet. But when at last it came out
+from its lair, and curling up its long tail made a run at me, I left the
+table hurriedly.
+
+To my relief the other guests also displayed uneasiness, for the object
+of my dislike was a scorpion, which had, it was supposed, been brought
+into the room with the flowers, and had remained hidden from all eyes
+but mine until its unwelcome disclosure of itself. There ensued an
+exciting chase up and down the table after the animal, till it was at
+length caught between two table spoons and drowned in a finger bowl.
+
+By little excitements of this kind the entertainments in Burmah are
+often enlivened. Some doubt has been cast upon this story by sceptical
+Europeans, but if any require proof, I can refer them to eminent members
+of the I. C. S., (men whom none would dare to doubt), who will assure
+them that such occurrences are frequent; in fact that the first place
+one would look for a scorpion would be among the flowers upon a dinner
+table!
+
+When watching the antics of a plump good tempered Jim Crow, as he
+disports himself upon a pleasant English lawn, or when listening to his
+peaceful "cawing" among the shady trees on a hot summer's day, one
+little dreams that this same harmless, law-abiding creature, when
+exposed to the degenerating influences of the east, becomes transformed
+into the most disreputable vagabond upon the face of the earth.
+
+The impudent thefts by jackdaws have long been famed, but no words can
+describe the unbounded presumption of the Burmese crows.
+
+They are always on the watch, and if food be left for an instant in a
+room with open door or window, they enter, and settle on the table
+without a moment's hesitation, helping themselves to anything that takes
+their fancy, in the coolest manner imaginable. When the loogalays carry
+the dishes of food from the kitchen to the house, these same impish
+crows pounce down on them and bear away any tempting morsels, well
+knowing that the men have their hands full, and cannot make reprisals.
+They appear to know by instinct the approach of meal times, and settle
+in crowds on the veranda rail or the window ledge, ready to carry off
+the food directly one's back is turned, and in the meanwhile they pull
+faces at us, and make rude remarks, for all the world like a collection
+of vulgar little street boys.
+
+They know no fear; they only mock and mimic "shooings" and hand
+clappings, and would laugh, I am sure, at the most awe-inspiring
+scare-crow ever erected. They sometimes go so far as to deliberately
+settle on the table and take a peck out of the cake, while one is
+sitting there, and then before they can be caught, they give a cheeky
+"caw," bow ironically, and flutter back to rejoin their admiring
+comrades (who have doubtless dared them to the act) on the veranda. I do
+not believe there exists any other creature in the world possessed of
+such boundless cheek.
+
+They have a strong sense of humour of a practical-joking kind, and one
+of their amusements in Remyo was to lure us away from the tea table by
+feigned attacks upon our pots of hyacinth bulbs, which they uprooted in
+the most devastating manner. We would fly out to the protection of our
+precious bulbs, and return to find our cakes devoured or carried away,
+by a reserve body of crows, who had been waiting in ambush behind the
+door.
+
+They occasionally combine forces with other thieves. The most wearing
+half hour I ever spent was one devoted to protecting the interest of the
+cake and the cream jug, from the hostile attacks of half a dozen crows
+and two kittens. While I lifted down the latter from the table the
+former settled upon the cake, and when I turned my attentions to them,
+the kittens returned to the charge. Mercifully, allies are not usually
+forthcoming; only young, ignorant, and disobedient kittens would
+associate with the disreputable crows; all properly brought up birds and
+beasts avoid association with them. Even the vultures, who sat all day
+on the trees shading the hospital, were contemptuous of those wicked
+"gamin" the crows.
+
+Dogs abound in every Burmese village, and they and the pigs are the
+chief scavengers of the place. Their number is legion, for it is
+contrary to the Buddhist religion to take life, so all puppies are
+allowed to live; and as it is further considered an act of merit to feed
+them, they have a fairly pleasant existence.
+
+The pariah dog performs his scavenging duties conscientiously, but he
+possesses few other merits to recommend him to one's esteem. He is at
+best a stupid, noisy, thieving brute, whose "customs are nasty and whose
+manners are none;" he occupies his time eating, sleeping, and fighting,
+and his chief amusement is to snap at the heels of the European, and lie
+across the road to upset the unwary bicyclist. Periodically, when the
+pest becomes unbearable, a day of slaughter is appointed by the Majesty
+of the Law, and all dogs who have no owner are poisoned. But in spite of
+this rigorous measure, there never seems much diminution in the numbers.
+
+Our neighbour possessed three English dogs,--two terriers and a
+greyhound. They had, no doubt, been well brought up, but had been led
+astray by evil companions, and they joined in the campaign which the
+rats, crows, and other creatures carried on against us. They delighted
+to creep into our compound, trample on the flower beds, steal my cakes
+(perhaps the household was not altogether sorry for that), and make away
+with our tennis balls. One day, they drove a herd of ponies all over our
+beloved garden, and then retired chuckling, to watch from a safe
+distance, our desperate attempts to induce the bewildered creatures to
+find the gate.
+
+The greyhound, I think, would have been a harmless creature, but the
+terriers possessed a full share of the devilry of their breed, and urged
+him to accompany them in all their audacious tricks. I believe it was
+they who persuaded three goats (the chief destroyers of our kitchen
+garden) to commence their raiding expeditions into our grounds, for the
+goats always appeared from the neighbourhood of the dog's kennels, and
+there was generally one terrier, at least, watching when Po Sin's
+energetic chase of the goats over the radish beds began.
+
+Other animals there were in the neighbourhood of Remyo, dwellers in the
+jungle, very different from the mischievous crew I have just described.
+Tiger, bear, panther, cheetah, soft-eyed gyee, hares, jackals, and
+others. Sometimes, as night drew near, I tried to picture how the
+inhabitants of the jungle would be waking from sleep and preparing for
+their busy night's work.
+
+The "Jungle Books" had of course inspired me with a great interest and
+affection for all these animals, especially "Baloo" the bear, and
+"Bagheera" the black panther, and I continued to love them so long as
+they remained at a respectable distance, but when, at times, they made
+expeditions into our neighbourhood, my admiration changed to awe.
+
+A tiger was the first visitor; he killed two ponies in the stable of a
+neighbour. Then a black panther commenced to parade, nightly, the road
+between our house and the club. He snapped up a little terrier which was
+trotting along at its master's heels one evening; he was reported to
+have been seen many times about dusk, slinking along by the road side,
+and one man broke a record on his bicycle, followed by an innocent and
+admiring pariah dog which he mistook for the panther. There is no doubt
+that the panther really did for a time haunt the road, but he was so
+useful as an excuse for the men to stay late at the club till they could
+get a lift down in someone else's dog-cart (an excuse that appeared
+quite convincing to their nervous wives) that he almost became an
+institution.
+
+From the first I distinctly disliked jackals. My bedroom window opened
+upon the back veranda, and one night I was awakened by a noise, and
+looking out I saw two of these beasts (I did not know at the time what
+they were) walking softly up and down devouring some food which the
+loogalays had left there.
+
+For some time I watched them, fascinated by these shadowy dark forms
+creeping about in the moonlight. Then, remembering that the back door
+was unfastened, that I was most probably the first person they would
+encounter should they enter, and that I had promised faithfully to
+return to England in six months, I thought it time to rouse my
+brother-in-law.
+
+Accordingly, I crept from my room, wakened him and my sister, and told
+them to get up, to bring their guns, and follow me, as the back veranda
+was full of wild animals, who might at any moment break into the house.
+They were both singularly uninterested in my information (indeed my
+brother only sleepily murmured "let them break" and went to sleep again)
+but I insisted, and at last he rose in a very bad temper and came to
+inquire into the cause of my alarm.
+
+Of course, the noise he made tumbling about and opening the door scared
+our visitors, and when he went out, the veranda was empty. A few
+scathing remarks about my powers of imagination were all the thanks I
+received for thus saving the lives of the family. Ingratitude, thy name
+is brother-in-law!
+
+After that my visitors came frequently, but I felt that I would rather
+die than risk more sarcasm, and when I found they had no evil
+intentions I grew rather to enjoy watching them. Their marvellous
+quickness, their caution, and the silence of their movements seemed to
+give a faint suggestion of what jungle life must be, though, of course,
+the jackal compared with the nobler animals, is no more than "Jacala,
+the belly that runs on four feet."
+
+After a while, our visitors were inspired to show their gratitude by
+nightly serenades. Gratitude is always delightful to meet with in man or
+beast, but I wished their's had taken some other form. A jackal's voice
+is powerful but unpleasant, and has a mournful effect upon the nerves.
+
+Of dead beasts I saw many. The jungle round Remyo seemed to be a perfect
+menagerie, and a noble panther, tiger or bear was often borne in triumph
+into the station and deposited in the centre of the Club compound, to be
+admired of all beholders.
+
+When no time could be spared for an organised shoot, a reward would be
+offered for the carcase of any panther or cheetah which might have been
+annoying a neighbouring jungle village, and the animal, when killed, was
+always brought in to be shown to my brother by the claimants of the
+reward. It was a little startling at first to have bears, panthers,
+etc., casually brought and deposited at one's front door, but we grew
+accustomed to it after a while, as one grows accustomed to all things
+but hanging. On one occasion some natives brought in the body of a huge
+leopard which had killed and eaten a man near their village (a most
+unusual proceeding for a leopard), and a terrible looking animal it was,
+with huge claws and teeth, and a sneaking deceitful face. The whole
+incident was disagreeably gruesome.
+
+On another occasion we were presented with two live bear cubs, whose
+parents had been killed. They were dear little fluffy brown creatures,
+and we longed to keep them, but they generally become a great nuisance
+when older, as they are always treacherous, and capable any day of
+trotting into the village and killing half a dozen people as a morning's
+amusement.
+
+I was strangely lucky (or unlucky, I hardly know which to call it) in
+the matter of snakes, for I did not see a single live snake during my
+visit. I constantly expected to meet one in the compound or jungle, but
+I never even found one coming up the water-hole in the bath-room, or
+coiled up in my bed. The creatures never came near me, even though I
+spread out the skin of a huge rock snake in the compound, in the hopes
+that its relations (as is invariably the custom with snakes in books)
+might be induced to assemble.
+
+The most wise looking creatures (always excepting the elephants) which I
+saw were the Burmese bullocks. Their grave, thoughtful, placid faces
+reminded me of the images of Gaudama. As they crawl along their way
+drawing the creaking bullock carts to the bazaar, or trot merrily
+through the jungle, taking gaily-attired Burmans to attend a Pwe, they
+have ever the same patient, quiet, abstracted expression, as though
+this menial work is to them a mere appendage to the deeper life of
+meditation. This is what their expression conveys to me; some think it
+denotes stupidity.
+
+The cattle belonging to the Burmese appear to be most independent
+animals. Each morning they wander away into the jungle at their own
+sweet wills, returning at night of their own accord for the milking. We
+were much astonished one day, when, in answer to our request that the
+milk might be brought earlier in future, the milkman replied with much
+"shekkohing" and humility that it could not be, as the cow did not wish
+to return earlier from her walk. The Burmans are very casual in their
+treatment and care of the cattle, numbers of which fall victims to
+tigers and other rapacious beasts.
+
+This chapter would not be complete without a word or two about the
+Burmese ponies; but who am I, who never could make head or tail of any
+pony's propensities, to presume to describe their character? Very small
+and wiry are they, very devoted to polo (which they understand quite as
+well as their masters, and which they play with the same keenness);
+conceited and obstinate; but obedient and affectionate to their masters,
+and possessing as great a love of a joke as a Burman himself.
+
+One of our ponies, "Pearl," a lovely little animal, and a splendid polo
+player, possessed all these characteristics. With her master or mistress
+she was as gentle and submissive as anyone could desire, but she assumed
+the most unpardonable airs towards all the rest of the world. She
+received caresses and attentions with a haughty disdain, turned up her
+nose at any but the very best food, and led her poor sais a most trying
+time. I admired her from afar, but we never became intimate; she
+evidently despised me, and had the most disagreeable knack of making me
+feel ignorant and small. She was too much of a lady to show her dislike
+by kicks or snaps, and treated an enemy with scornful indifference until
+he attempted to ride her, when (to use a modern colloquialism) she soon
+managed to get a bit of her own back.
+
+"Stunsail", another of our ponies, was a good old soul, of worthy
+character but worthless value. He had missed his vocation in life, for
+he ought most certainly to have been a circus pony. He was full of
+tricks, not frolicsome or spontaneous ones, but tricks carefully
+acquired by long hours of practice, such as bowing to ladies, salaaming
+for bananas, and lying down, pretending to be dead. It was nice of him
+to have taken the trouble to acquire these accomplishments, but his
+fondness for displaying them at all times was often very disturbing to
+his rider.
+
+Our third pony "John" we always thought a quiet, easy-going individual,
+until we lent him to a lady who was paying a short visit to Remyo. She
+was not an accomplished horse-woman, but would not for the world have
+confessed to the fact, for she liked to pose as quite fearless, and
+devoted to riding.
+
+"John's" strong sense of humour first became apparent in his treatment
+of her. He soon gauged the extent of the lady's equestrian powers, and
+enjoyed himself immensely. He did not unseat her or bolt with her: his
+humour was of a much finer quality; he merely consistently refused to do
+anything she wished. When she intended a short ride, "John" would keep
+her out for hours; when she was prepared for an afternoon's expedition,
+"John" would bring her home after a half-mile canter. If she announced
+her wish to visit her friends at the far side of the station, "John"
+would take her for a gallop through the jungle; when she donned her
+oldest habit to go a quiet country ride "John" would insist upon her
+calling upon her smartest neighbours, and would walk up to the front
+door and stand there until she was obliged to dismount and enter.
+
+There was no limit to the mischievous devilry of that pony. When poor
+Mrs. F. rode out with the rest of the station, her troubles were even
+greater. When her companions suggested a gallop, "John" wilfully
+assumed his slowest walk; and when everyone was riding slowly and
+conversing pleasantly together, the poor lady would suddenly, without
+any apparent reason, break off in the middle of a sentence, and set off
+at the wildest gallop through the jungle, or turn round and ride
+furiously for home. Nothing would induce her to confess that she could
+not manage her pony, so she was obliged to invent the wildest excuses
+and explanations for her conduct. Others thought it was her
+eccentricity, but we knew it was "John."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+SPORT.
+
+
+In Burmah the Tiger story takes the place occupied by the fish story in
+this country, and is stamped, I suspect, with the same unblushing
+characteristics. Judging from the tiger stories I heard, I could come to
+no other conclusion than that the Anglo-Indian is possessed of amazing
+nerve and ingenuity (qualities useful to him alike in the exploit and in
+the telling of it), and I heard him with ever increasing interest and
+wonder. The tiger is the favourite theme, though he is but of small
+account whose chronicle does not also embrace some experiences in the
+pursuit of the elephant, the bear and other fearful wildfowl indigenous
+to the country.
+
+Most men own to being a little chary about elephant hunting I found,
+but our friend the Policeman appeared to have shot them like snipe. At
+first I was rather inclined to make light of elephant shooting, they are
+such exceedingly large animals that I thought even I could hardly fail
+to bag one if I got him broadside on; but the Policeman set me right on
+that point.
+
+From his explanation, I gathered that the elephant is invulnerable save
+only in one vital part, a spot behind the ear, and the sportsman
+(according to my narrator) must be as dead on that spot as "Homocea."
+
+My informant also told me terrible stories of how the elephant will turn
+on his pursuer and trample on him, or tear him in pieces with his tusks,
+and he gave me further such blood-curdling descriptions of the
+terrifying noise made by an approaching herd of elephants crashing
+through the jungle, and trumpeting in their rage, that I felt devoutly
+thankful that I was visiting this particular district. The wild
+elephants of the neighbouring jungle, in their almost human
+intelligence, recognised the danger to themselves of conduct other than
+the most retiring and unprovocative character in a locality where the
+peace was preserved by such an ever threatening Nemesis as our
+Policeman.
+
+Bears, too, our Policeman had frequently hunted, and many a hair-breadth
+escape had he effected by running up hill (bears cannot run up hill, you
+know), or swinging from tree to tree and performing other acrobatic
+feats which the bear was too heavy to attempt with success.
+
+On one occasion, he said he had been overtaken by the bear, and his left
+arm chawed in fourteen places (I forget why the bear couldn't be content
+with one spot and how he protected himself from the animal's further
+attentions); but he didn't mind the bear so much as the well meant
+efforts of his companion, who, the hero of the episode complained, stood
+afar off and poured in a devastating fire, directed in a distracted and
+indiscriminate manner at him and the bear alike. Many and varied indeed
+were the dangers through which this seemingly fearless hunter had passed
+unscathed.
+
+Several tigers visited the neighbourhood during my visit, and caused
+great excitement among the men at the Club, who thought nothing of
+sitting up all night in an uncomfortable tree, over an unsightly "kill,"
+in hope of compassing the animal's undoing.
+
+Often, alas! they were doomed to disappointment. On one occasion when my
+brother and a friend were awaiting a tiger's approach, a mist gathered
+round them, effectually obscuring everything from their sight. So there
+they were, obliged, perforce, to sit in darkness, not daring to descend,
+and of course unable to see, and cheered by listening to the tiger
+comfortably devouring its prey, within a few yards of their ambush. The
+Engineer, when he heard this story was for patenting an electric flash
+light, which could be turned on to light the Sportsman when the tiger
+was comfortably settled down to his meal, but this original suggestion
+was ungratefully rejected, much to his disappointment.
+
+But one afternoon the Thugyi brought in word that a large tiger had been
+marked down in the neighbouring jungle, and a beat was arranged for the
+following day. Then it was that the Policeman earned our undying
+gratitude by proposing that we ladies, who had been behaving of late in
+an exemplary manner, should, for once, be allowed to accompany the
+Sportsmen, to see the great sight of our lives, a tiger shoot.
+
+I doubt whether the suggestion met with the entire approbation of the
+other males, but as the Policeman was organising the beat, and as we all
+promised to be very good and obedient, they agreed reluctantly to take
+us. Women, perhaps naturally, are considered very much "de trop" on
+these occasions. A tiger shoot is a serious, sometimes a dangerous
+business, and female frivolities and nerves would decidedly be
+embarrassments.
+
+I heard a story of a girl, reputed to be a great Sportswoman and a good
+shot, who accompanied her male friends upon one of these expeditions.
+Platforms had been built for the Sportsmen in the trees in the line of
+the beat, and she shared one with a man who was more accustomed to
+shooting and hunting than to the society of the other sex, whom he held
+in much greater awe than any wild animal, however dangerous. When the
+tiger made its appearance, the girl promptly fainted, and her poor
+companion spent a most unhappy ten minutes between the unconscious girl
+and the enraged tiger, being far more alarmed at the former.
+
+However, to return to my story, when we had given assurances that we
+never fainted, nor had hysterics, nor grew tired; and had promised
+faithfully not to move a muscle, not to speak a single word, not to
+disobey an order, and above all not to want to shoot, the men folk
+graciously allowed us to accompany them; but it was not to create a
+precedent.
+
+How excited we were and how nervous! A seat in a tree did not appear to
+me to offer much security against the tiger's attack, however high it
+might be. Tigers, I had always been told, are near relations to cats,
+and I knew cats climb trees. When I nervously breathed these doubts to
+the Policeman, he solemnly assured me that tigers will not climb, and by
+standing on their hind legs can only reach up about fourteen feet; but
+this did not convince me, for had I not seen in my nursery days (and
+early impressions are lasting ones) brilliantly coloured pictures of
+tiger shoots wherein the tiger was invariably depicted, leaping into the
+air, or climbing fiercely up the side of an elephant, while the nervous
+occupant of the howdah peered cautiously over the edge? Was I to ignore
+the lessons of my youth? I can only explain this inconsistency by
+suggesting that tigers may have changed their habits with the advance of
+civilization.
+
+Nothing was talked of that evening but tigers and tiger shooting. The
+Policeman and other local sportsmen were in great request, and their
+stories were listened to with an interest and belief which I should
+think quite astonished them. Even to the village did the excitement
+spread, for the love of sport is as prevalent among the Burmans as among
+Englishmen; and the natives are well paid for serving as beaters.
+
+Early in the morning the hunting party assembled in our compound, and,
+after partaking of a cheery "chota hazri," we set out, a merry cavalcade
+consisting of seven men, and three women, and accompanied by a
+miscellaneous collection of servants and native "shikarries."
+
+It was one of those fresh, cool, delicious mornings that make one feel
+inclined to sing with Pippa:
+
+
+     "The morning's at seven, The hillside's dew pearled."
+     "God's in His Heaven, all's well with the World."
+
+
+In spite of qualms regarding the ordeal before us, we enjoyed that early
+ride, and were a very happy, hungry crew when we arrived at the jungle
+village whither breakfast had already been despatched. We found
+everything ready, prepared by the Club Khansamah, and his staff of
+silent, well-trained loogalays, and we breakfasted in the "hpoongyi
+kyaung" itself, surrounded by images of Gaudama, by sacred pictures and
+bells; shaded by lovely groups of bamboos, and watched from afar by an
+interested crowd of young Burmans, whose shaven heads and yellow robes
+showed them to be the hpoongyi's pupils.
+
+[Illustration: A HPOONGYI KYAUNG MONASTERY]
+
+But we were not allowed to linger too long in idleness, discussing the
+merits of "the chicken and ham, the muffin and toast, and the strawberry
+jam," to say nothing of luscious pineapples, incomparable bananas
+(differing as much from the banana we meet in England, as chalk from
+cheese), the much vaunted mangostines, the objectionable (from my way of
+thinking) custard apple, and the hundred, other delicacies which our
+generous hosts had provided for our delectation. I had scarcely
+exchanged three words with the pineapples, and had only a bowing
+acquaintance with the plum cake, when the doughty Policeman gave the
+word to start.
+
+It was really extraordinary how the presence of danger and
+responsibility affected the bearing of our Policeman. The change came on
+quite suddenly, in the middle of breakfast, and was maintained till
+evening. He was transformed from a jovial, talkative personage, to one
+sombre and morose, refusing to utter a word more than was absolutely
+necessary, greeting all observations with a discouraging frown or a
+shake of the head, and, in all his movements and actions displaying the
+impressive characteristics of "Hawkeye," and other Indian Hunter friends
+of one's youth. We ladies were immensely impressed, and did our best to
+imitate his severe expression and noiseless, stalking gait, as closely
+as possible. Perhaps we presented rather a weird appearance, stealing
+along with harassed, stern set faces, and cautious steps, like stage
+pirates, but concluding that it was the proper role to adopt on such an
+occasion we adopted it.
+
+Outside the kyaung we met the beaters; a picturesque group in their
+bright coloured dresses, armed with sticks, cans, whistles, and
+everything sufficiently noisy to rouse "Shere Khan" from his noonday
+sleep. These beaters were despatched, under the direction of a native
+"shikarrie," to commence their work about half-a-mile to the westward,
+while we went to take up our position to the east of the rumoured
+position of the tiger.
+
+By this time the sun was up, and it was becoming very hot. For about
+half an hour we stole along in single file through the jungle. Half the
+men went before us to part the tangled bushes, the remainder brought up
+the rear, lest one of us should be lost; a possible and very unpleasant
+prospect in jungle so thick that it is impossible to see a yard around.
+We were very silent, partly from excitement, partly because silence was
+advisable; for who could tell what sleeping inhabitant of the jungle we
+might pass within a few yards.
+
+At last our leader judged that we had penetrated far enough; he halted
+the party, and assigned to each gun its position. We ladies were each
+confided to the care of a good shot, and repaired with our respective
+protectors to the trees appointed for us by our leader. After some
+original research into the difficulties of tree climbing (especially
+tree climbing when the tree has no branches within five or six feet of
+the ground), and the unpleasant sensation of missing one's footing and
+slithering down the trunk,--I at length, with the aid of much pulling,
+pushing, and other forcible assistance from my companion, attained my
+perch, and my protector climbed to a position in a tree close to mine.
+We had no platform to sit upon, but perched on the most convenient
+branches available. A branch of a tree is not the most comfortable seat
+in the world, and before the day was over I had ceased to envy "the
+birds of the air, who make their habitations among the branches."
+
+After all the sportsmen were settled in their relative positions, about
+a hundred yards apart, a weary time of waiting ensued. No one spoke.
+Everywhere around us were the mysterious humming, rustling sounds of the
+jungle, and far away to the westward we heard the faint noise of
+shouting and belaboured "tom-toms," which told us that the beaters had
+commenced their work. The strain of excitement was terrible.
+
+I measured the distance between my feet and the ground, and calculated
+that, my tree not being very high, the tiger would experience little
+difficulty in reaching me. I mechanically drew up my feet, and tightened
+my hold on my sun umbrella; I remembered my board ship companions had
+assured me that poking an animal in the eye is very effective, but I
+didn't feel much confidence in this advice. Nor did I feel much
+confidence in my oft-tried, and much vaunted presence of mind; absence
+of body would have comforted me more. I peered up among the branches,
+and decided where I would place my feet if a sudden flight to higher
+regions should be necessary. Then I came to the conclusion that I didn't
+like tiger shooting at all.
+
+I glanced at my protector; he looked cool and alert. He was one of those
+men who appear absolutely uninterested in all that is going on until the
+supreme moment arrives, when they wake up suddenly and distinguish
+themselves, after which they relapse again into their former
+indifference. I regained my courage at sight of his coolness, and
+listened.
+
+Intense stillness around and behind us; even the jungle had ceased to
+whisper. Everything seemed waiting in eager expectancy. But, before us,
+drawing ever nearer and nearer, were the beaters, rattling sticks and
+cans, whistling, shouting, and playing on "tom-toms," while between them
+and us, aroused from its heavy sleep, slinking away from the noise and
+disturbance was----what? The possibilities of a jungle drive are
+endless. Suddenly the high grass beneath my tree parted, "Now for it," I
+think. But no! it is only a gyee, hurrying away with scared eyes from
+the unknown danger behind. It may escape to-day; its enemy, man, is
+after bigger game.
+
+Ever nearer drew the beaters. "Will it never end?" I whisper. But what
+was that? A loud report close to my ear; something flashes past in the
+grass below, there is a loud roar of pain and fury, and then "all is
+over except the shouting."
+
+For a few moments we waited in astonishment that it is all over so
+quickly, and in doubt if the animal be really dead. Then everyone
+tumbled simultaneously from their perches and hurried to the spot.
+
+There lay the tiger, quite dead, but looking so lifelike that while I
+put my hand in his mouth or felt his cruel claws, I was conscious of a
+half fear lest he should be only shamming, and should come to life again
+with a sudden spring. The beautiful skin was uninjured, save where the
+bullet had entered the spine, and as we looked at him, the very emblem
+of strength and beauty lying there, slain without even a fight for life,
+I think we all felt a little pity.
+
+But pity soon gave way to triumph. The beaters arrived and crowded round
+the tiger, laughing and chattering; mocking the animal which had held
+them in such terror while he lived, and trying to steal his whiskers,
+which the Burmans value as charms.
+
+But we soon found we were hot, thirsty, and tired, so we set out on our
+return journey to Remyo, the beaters carrying our victim in triumph
+fastened on a long bamboo. News of our success had preceded us, and as
+we approached the village we were met by an immense crowd of admiring
+natives, in that condition of giggling and jabbering excitement to which
+only a crowd composed largely of Madrassees can attain. So persistent
+were the attacks made upon the tiger's whiskers, that it became
+necessary at last to tie his head up in a bag, and in that undignified
+condition he was borne home and deposited safely in the club compound,
+where during the day, he was visited and admired by every inhabitant of
+the station.
+
+Thus ended my first and only tiger shoot. How I wish I could electrify
+my readers with descriptions of expeditions wherein I myself would
+appear as the heroine, shooting tigers, and performing other moving
+exploits by flood and field. But it may not be. The eager search after
+truth which has been so noticeable lately among the British public,
+restrains such interesting flights of fancy, and in these days,
+romancers who would display their quality to an appreciative audience,
+must address themselves to the Marines, or to the British Association.
+
+There is endless variety of game in the neighbourhood of Remyo. Snipe
+are almost as common as sparrows at home; partridges, peacocks, jungle
+fowl, gyee, and hares all abound, and many an enjoyable shooting
+expedition is undertaken, sometimes with, sometimes without the excuse
+of "business" in the district.
+
+Well provided with ammunition, food, drink, rugs, and bedding, the
+Anglo-Indian sets out for two or three days sport, wandering from place
+to place, sleeping in the open sided "zayats," near the hpoongyi
+kyaungs, and spending the day in the jungle, in eager search after the
+Englishman's great desire "something to kill."
+
+Some of the native "shikarries" who accompany these expeditions are
+splendid men. They are very silent, very uninterested in, even
+contemptuous of, things not connected with sport, but devoted to their
+profession, and as keenly excited, as delighted at success, or
+disappointed at failure, as any good sportsman all the world over; and
+possessing moreover a knowledge of the habits and customs of the jungle
+folk scarcely surpassed by "Mowgli" himself.
+
+A form of sport much indulged in by the Shan chiefs in the past, but
+which has been strenuously discouraged was "Collecting Heads." The last
+exponent of the game dwelt in the hills on the Shan State border, and
+was the hereditary leader of a large tribe of men as fierce and savage
+as himself. He was an ancient chief, proud of his race, his power, and
+position; proud too of his home, and above all proud of his wonderful
+bodily strength. Many and marvellous are the stories told of his
+extraordinary doings. On one occasion, unarmed, he fought and killed a
+tiger, clinging to its throat until he throttled it. He bore the marks
+of the contest, huge scars upon his head, and throat, and chest, until
+his dying day.
+
+It was his custom (as doubtless it had been the custom of his ancestors,
+and of many of their neighbours) to descend periodically from his
+mountain heights alone and spend a few weeks in the neighbouring
+plains, engaged in his favourite hobby of collecting heads. He was not
+particular what heads he collected, but he preferred human ones when he
+could get them. He would remain in the plains for a while, way-laying,
+hunting, and slaying as many of his fellow creatures as he could meet
+with (occasionally perhaps varying the sport by killing a tiger) and at
+last when he grew for the nonce weary of this amusement, he would return
+in triumph to his tribe, and display to their admiring gaze his ghastly
+spoils.
+
+The placid native suffered his hostile inroads with that fatalism with
+which they regard all misfortune. But one day the Chief made a slight
+mistake by adding to his collection the head of an Englishman (who was
+no doubt poaching in the Chief's country) and for this departure from
+the accepted rules of the game, he paid penalty.
+
+A detachment of soldiers was despatched, who soon scattered the tribe
+and captured the offender. I met the subaltern who had been in charge of
+the escort, which brought him down to the plains, and he described to
+me the desperate efforts the fierce old man made to escape. He was bound
+hand and foot, watched night and day by four men, and his bonds were
+inspected every hour; on one of these inspections it was discovered that
+the ropes were frayed and gnawed half away. But his efforts were of no
+avail; though he had the strength of a giant he could do nothing against
+such overpowering odds.
+
+When at length they reached the plains, he turned to have a last look at
+the vanishing shadows of the hills, which no doubt he had loved with
+that silent, passionate love felt for their home by the inhabitants of
+all mountainous countries, and after a final desperate effort to kill
+himself, he suddenly seemed to relinquish all hope, and resigned himself
+stolidly to his fate.
+
+His defiance and strength seemed to pass away with that last sight of
+his beloved hills, and a broken-spirited, weak, helpless, old man was
+all that remained. They brought him to Rangoon and banished his old,
+worn-out body to the Andaman Islands, but his proud, fierce spirit fled
+back with that last look at the hills, and haunts the wild regions where
+he loved to roam.
+
+[Illustration: Decoration]
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII.
+
+THE RETURN.
+
+     "But that's all shove be'ind me--long ago and far away
+     An' there ain't no busses runnin' from the Bank to Mandalay."
+
+     "For the temple-bells are callin', and it's there that I would be
+     By the old Moulmein Pagoda, looking lazy at the sea."
+                                                       (Kipling.)
+
+
+To the stranger in this fascinating country, days are as minutes, months
+as days, and it seemed that scarcely had I arrived and commenced to look
+around me, when my visit came to an end, and sadly bidding farewell to
+Remyo and its many delights, all too soon I had to return home.
+
+Alas! too, I found I was compelled to renew my acquaintance with the
+Burmese pony, the only alternative being a bullock cart; and let those
+who have ridden forty miles along an up-country road in a Burmese
+bullock cart----but no! I do not like to think such an experience can
+have befallen my worst enemy.
+
+Once more, therefore, I mounted to the saddle, and rode, or more
+properly speaking bumped, twenty miles the first day. At the end of that
+distance I had no desire to proceed further, nor, I am sure, had the
+pony. Accordingly, we stopped at the now familiar dak bungalow, and
+stabled ourselves and our ponies for the night. I do not know what were
+my pony's feelings that night as he thought over the events of the day,
+but they cannot have been pleasant. He was a strong-minded pony
+(possibly he had some sympathy for his rider) and having come to the
+conclusion that a repetition on the morrow of the past day's proceedings
+would be unpleasant and unwise, during the night he slipped his halter
+and gently trotted back to Remyo, accompanied by my brother's and the
+orderly's mounts.
+
+When we arose in the morning, all we found in the little hut at the
+bottom of the bungalow compound were three belated looking saddles and
+some broken bridle reins, and the only course open to us was to continue
+our journey on foot.
+
+Some people, I believe, pretend to see humour in such situations, but
+we were not amused. The heat was awful, the road almost knee deep in
+dust, and as we plodded along for several miles, losing our way in short
+cuts, scrambling down precipitous ravines and dry water courses, and
+exchanging no single word, but keeping all our breath for the exertion
+of clambering out again, I became, by comparison, almost reconciled to
+the previous day's experiences.
+
+When at last we reached the foot of the hills, and found a "gharry"
+waiting to convey us to Mandalay, we resembled pillars of dust, and were
+as thirsty as the desert. I was so tired that I forgot to be sentimental
+over the last glimpse of the hills; and as we approached Mandalay,
+beautiful in her bower of green, with the sun shining as ever on the
+"dreaming spires," the white pagodas, and the golden domes, my one and
+only desire was "Drink."
+
+I had delayed my departure from Remyo as late as possible in the hopes
+of witnessing a "hpoongyi burning," one of the most characteristic
+Burmese festivals. The holy man had died some time previously, and in
+order to do his memory due honour, his body had been preserved many
+months, and the burning, with the many strange rites and festivities
+which invariably accompany such ceremonies, was announced to take place
+the week before my departure. But from some unknown cause (perhaps they
+discovered he had been more virtuous than they at first imagined) the
+authorities suddenly decided to preserve the body until a more imposing
+pageant could be prepared, so I missed the sight; and having delayed my
+departure, I had time only to spend a few hours in Mandalay and Rangoon
+before embarking on the homeward bound steamer.
+
+It was very sad, that departure from Rangoon, where so many friends were
+left behind, as the last beauties of this bewitching country faded
+slowly from sight. The glaring noonday sunshine shed no illusory haze
+over the scene. The muddy brown water of the river and the ugly shores
+lined with factories and mills, seemed a foretaste of the matter-of-fact
+land to which we were returning; but behind rose the distant palm trees,
+and the golden dome; and the soft music of the tinkling bells of the
+pagoda, bidding us a last farewell, was wafted to us by the perfume
+laden eastern breeze.
+
+My homeward voyage was without any extraordinary incident, and in due
+course I arrived at Marseilles. This well-known port requires no
+description, but I must say a few words in its favour; it is so
+universally disparaged.
+
+The noisy, unsavoury Marseilles of the docks and harbour is very
+different from Marseilles viewed from that magnificent church, "Notre
+Dame de la garde." When we climb to the summit of the rock whereon
+stands the stately white church, surmounted by the huge golden image of
+the Virgin, keeping watch over the ships that enter the harbour, and
+shining as a beacon miles out to welcome sight to the longing eyes of
+the home coming sailor; when we look down from our height over the
+pretty little red and white houses, the graceful spires, and the
+clusters of dark green foliage nestling in the shelter of the high white
+cliffs which enclose the harbour; and again beyond the town, beyond the
+rugged brown rocks, and the placid deep blue water, to the ancient
+"Chateau D'If," dark and forbidding in the midst of the sunny landscape,
+we acknowledge that nature in the bestowal of her beauties has not,
+after all, confined her gifts to the dreaming East.
+
+I think the true reason why Marseilles is so frequently spoken of with
+disfavour is on account of the "Bouillabaisse," the terrible mixture
+which delights the palates of the natives, and which innocent strangers
+are induced to partake of under the delusion that it must therefore be
+good for human food.
+
+The only recommendation this dish possesses is the curious interest it
+arouses in one's mind as to what it is really composed of. One never
+knows what form of fish, flesh, or _bad_ red herring one may encounter
+next. The appearance of the dish resembles one's childish imaginations
+of a "Mess of Pottage." Its scent suggests Marseilles harbour, and the
+stoke hole of a Channel steamer. I myself was never sufficiently
+enterprising to taste it, but judging by the expression of haggard
+thought that overspread the features of some who were so venturesome, I
+should say the taste must be "mystic, wonderful," and that years of
+careful study are necessary to attain to a true appreciation of its
+subtle delicacy.
+
+I think the journey from Marseilles to London is the most wearisome that
+can be undertaken. After the warmth, the quiet, and the absence of hurry
+to which I had become accustomed in the East, I found the bustle and
+noise, added to the piercing cold of a European April, almost
+overpowering. I shivered on deck, as our steamer ploughed her way across
+the Channel, through a damp clinging fog, and when at last the welcome
+white cliffs came into sight, I was far too miserable to wax sentimental
+over this return to my native shore, and I longed only for tea and a
+fire.
+
+Yet after all, despite the contrast betwixt sunshine and yellow fog,
+between jungle glades and London streets, despite all the advantages
+which we know that every other clime and country can boast over our own,
+England is England still, and Home is Home.
+
+And now let me offer a word of advice to those who, like myself,
+undertake adventurous wanderings far from their native land, and recount
+the same with many embellishments. On their return home, let them beware
+of introducing to the admiring circle of their friends, any who may have
+accompanied them on their travels.
+
+I had been back at home some three months, had told my story, and had
+established my reputation, when one day a visitor from Burmah arrived.
+
+He had not been long in the house before some uncalled-for allusion was
+made to the historic occasion on which I defended my sister's house in
+Remyo from a body of dacoits. He denied all knowledge of the incident.
+Suspicions awoke in the breasts of my friends. They questioned the
+visitor about my struggle with the tiger, my adventure with the bear, my
+heroic bravery on the occasion of the shipwreck, and about all my other
+best inspired narrations.
+
+Alas! he denied them all, and my credit was gone for ever. I fancy some
+have even ceased to believe that I have been to Burmah at all, and some
+have become so suspicious as to make enquiries as to whether I really am
+myself. It is hard! and the recently notorious contributor to the "Wide
+Wide World" Magazine has my deep sympathy. Would I had lived in the days
+of Columbus; I would have discovered more than America, had I enjoyed
+such excellent opportunities as did he.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Thus ends the account of my experiences in Burmah, and of the impression
+left on my mind by this oft-described country.
+
+Perhaps distance lends enchantment to the view, and makes me forget the
+evils of the climate, the dangers and discomforts of life there, the
+slowness of locomotion, the lack of many so-called benefits of
+civilisation; and I seem to remember only a land where the sun is always
+shining and the world is always gay; where the air is heavy with
+delicious eastern scents, and filled with the harmonious music of the
+temple bells, as they are gently swayed by the whispering breeze. A land
+where the hues of earth can vie with the brilliancy of the sunset, and
+the eye is feasted with delicately blended colours.
+
+Here Beauty and Peace hold eternal honeymoon. Misery seems to have no
+place in this land of delight, but contentment ever reigns, and the
+happy Burman dreams away his life in a paradise of sunshine. No one who
+has visited this country can ever forget it, but learns to understand
+too well that fascination so well expressed by Mr. Kipling: "If you've
+'eard the East a' callin', you won't never 'eed nought else."
+
+I remember Burmah, too, as a land of picturesque buildings, of rich
+jewels, exquisite costumes, and beautiful graceful women. A land of
+kindly hearts, friendly welcomes, and ungrudging hospitality.
+
+These are remembered when the last glint of the golden-domed pagoda has
+faded into the shadowy distance, and we sail away from the peaceful
+sunshine and the palm trees, westward ho! to this hurrying, bustling
+modern world, where, though beauty exists, we have no time to appreciate
+it, and where, like King Midas of old, we would turn all we touch to
+glittering gold, and for ever destroy its charm.
+
+
+R. PLATT, PRINTER, WIGAN.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of An English Girl's First Impressions of
+Burmah, by Beth Ellis
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AN ENGLISH GIRL'S FIRST ***
+
+***** This file should be named 40001.txt or 40001.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+        http://www.gutenberg.org/4/0/0/0/40001/
+
+Produced by sp1nd, Martin Pettit and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+http://gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
+http://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://pglaf.org
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://pglaf.org
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     http://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
diff --git a/40001.zip b/40001.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4e3af2c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/40001.zip