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diff --git a/4003-0.txt b/4003-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d3e9811 --- /dev/null +++ b/4003-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2814 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook of Androcles and the Lion, by George Bernard Shaw + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and +most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions +whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms +of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at +www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you +will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before +using this eBook. + +Title: Androcles and the Lion + +Author: George Bernard Shaw + +Release Date: October 5, 2001 [eBook #4003] +[Most recently updated: December 22, 2021] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +Produced by: Eve Sobol. HTML version by Al Haines + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ANDROCLES AND THE LION *** + + + + +ANDROCLES AND THE LION + +by Bernard Shaw + +1912 + + +Contents + + PROLOGUE + ACT I + ACT II + + + + +PROLOGUE + + +Overture; forest sounds, roaring of lions, Christian hymn faintly. + +A jungle path. A lion’s roar, a melancholy suffering roar, comes from +the jungle. It is repeated nearer. The lion limps from the jungle on +three legs, holding up his right forepaw, in which a huge thorn sticks. +He sits down and contemplates it. He licks it. He shakes it. He tries +to extract it by scraping it along the ground, and hurts himself worse. +He roars piteously. He licks it again. Tears drop from his eyes. He +limps painfully off the path and lies down under the trees, exhausted +with pain. Heaving a long sigh, like wind in a trombone, he goes to +sleep. + +Androcles and his wife Megæra come along the path. He is a small, thin, +ridiculous little man who might be any age from thirty to fifty-five. +He has sandy hair, watery compassionate blue eyes, sensitive nostrils, +and a very presentable forehead; but his good points go no further; his +arms and legs and back, though wiry of their kind, look shrivelled and +starved. He carries a big bundle, is very poorly clad, and seems tired +and hungry. + +His wife is a rather handsome pampered slattern, well fed and in the +prime of life. She has nothing to carry, and has a stout stick to help +her along. + +MEGAERA. +(_suddenly throwing down her stick_) I won’t go another step. + +ANDROCLES. +(_pleading wearily_) Oh, not again, dear. What’s the good of stopping +every two miles and saying you won’t go another step? We must get on to +the next village before night. There are wild beasts in this wood: +lions, they say. + +MEGAERA. +I don’t believe a word of it. You are always threatening me with wild +beasts to make me walk the very soul out of my body when I can hardly +drag one foot before another. We haven’t seen a single lion yet. + +ANDROCLES. +Well, dear, do you want to see one? + +MEGAERA. +(_tearing the bundle from his back_) You cruel beast, you don’t care +how tired I am, or what becomes of me (_she throws the bundle on the +ground_): always thinking of yourself. Self! self! self! always +yourself! (_She sits down on the bundle_). + +ANDROCLES. +(_sitting down sadly on the ground with his elbows on his knees and his +head in his hands_) We all have to think of ourselves occasionally, +dear. + +MEGAERA. +A man ought to think of his wife sometimes. + +ANDROCLES. +He can’t always help it, dear. You make me think of you a good deal. +Not that I blame you. + +MEGAERA. +Blame me! I should think not indeed. Is it my fault that I’m married to +you? + +ANDROCLES. +No, dear: that is my fault. + +MEGAERA. +That’s a nice thing to say to me. Aren’t you happy with me? + +ANDROCLES. +I don’t complain, my love. + +MEGAERA. +You ought to be ashamed of yourself. + +ANDROCLES. +I am, my dear. + +MEGAERA. +You’re not: you glory in it. + +ANDROCLES. +In what, darling? + +MEGAERA. +In everything. In making me a slave, and making yourself a +laughing-stock. Its not fair. You get me the name of being a shrew with +your meek ways, always talking as if butter wouldn’t melt in your +mouth. And just because I look a big strong woman, and because I’m +good-hearted and a bit hasty, and because you’re always driving me to +do things I’m sorry for afterwards, people say “Poor man: what a life +his wife leads him!” Oh, if they only knew! And you think I don’t know. +But I do, I do, (_screaming_) I do. + +ANDROCLES. +Yes, my dear: I know you do. + +MEGAERA. +Then why don’t you treat me properly and be a good husband to me? + +ANDROCLES. +What can I do, my dear? + +MEGAERA. +What can you do! You can return to your duty, and come back to your +home and your friends, and sacrifice to the gods as all respectable +people do, instead of having us hunted out of house and home for being +dirty, disreputable, blaspheming atheists. + +ANDROCLES. +I’m not an atheist, dear: I am a Christian. + +MEGAERA. +Well, isn’t that the same thing, only ten times worse? Everybody knows +that the Christians are the very lowest of the low. + +ANDROCLES. +Just like us, dear. + +MEGAERA. +Speak for yourself. Don’t you dare to compare me to common people. My +father owned his own public-house; and sorrowful was the day for me +when you first came drinking in our bar. + +ANDROCLES. +I confess I was addicted to it, dear. But I gave it up when I became a +Christian. + +MEGAERA. +You’d much better have remained a drunkard. I can forgive a man being +addicted to drink: its only natural; and I don’t deny I like a drop +myself sometimes. What I can’t stand is your being addicted to +Christianity. And what’s worse again, your being addicted to animals. +How is any woman to keep her house clean when you bring in every stray +cat and lost cur and lame duck in the whole countryside? You took the +bread out of my mouth to feed them: you know you did: don’t attempt to +deny it. + +ANDROCLES. +Only when they were hungry and you were getting too stout, dearie. + +MEGAERA. +Yes, insult me, do. (_Rising_) Oh! I won’t bear it another moment. You +used to sit and talk to those dumb brute beasts for hours, when you +hadn’t a word for me. + +ANDROCLES. +They never answered back, darling. (_He rises and again shoulders the +bundle_). + +MEGAERA. +Well, if you’re fonder of animals than of your own wife, you can live +with them here in the jungle. I’ve had enough of them and enough of +you. I’m going back. I’m going home. + +ANDROCLES. +(_barring the way back_) No, dearie: don’t take on like that. We can’t +go back. We’ve sold everything: we should starve; and I should be sent +to Rome and thrown to the lions— + +MEGAERA. +Serve you right! I wish the lions joy of you. (_Screaming_) Are you +going to get out of my way and let me go home? + +ANDROCLES. +No, dear— + +MEGAERA. +Then I’ll make my way through the forest; and when I’m eaten by the +wild beasts you’ll know what a wife you’ve lost. (_She dashes into the +jungle and nearly falls over the sleeping lion_). Oh! Oh! Andy! Andy! +(_She totters back and collapses into the arms of Androcles, who, +crushed by her weight, falls on his bundle_). + +ANDROCLES. +(_extracting himself from beneath her and slapping her hands in great +anxiety_) What is it, my precious, my pet? What’s the matter? (_He +raises her head. Speechless with terror, she points in the direction of +the sleeping lion. He steals cautiously towards the spot indicated by +Megæra. She rises with an effort and totters after him_). + +MEGAERA. +No, Andy: you’ll be killed. Come back. + +_The lion utters a long snoring sigh. Androcles sees the lion and +recoils fainting into the arms of Megæra, who falls back on the bundle. +They roll apart and lie staring in terror at one another. The lion is +heard groaning heavily in the jungle._ + +ANDROCLES. +(_whispering_) Did you see? A lion. + +MEGAERA. +(_despairing_) The gods have sent him to punish us because you’re a +Christian. Take me away, Andy. Save me. + +ANDROCLES. +(_rising_) Meggy: there’s one chance for you. It’ll take him pretty +nigh twenty minutes to eat me (_I’m rather stringy and tough_) and you +can escape in less time than that. + +MEGAERA. +Oh, don’t talk about eating. (_The lion rises with a great groan and +limps towards them_). Oh! (_She faints_). + +ANDROCLES. +(_quaking, but keeping between the lion and Megæra_) Don’t you come +near my wife, do you hear? (_The lion groans. Androcles can hardly +stand for trembling_). Meggy: run. Run for your life. If I take my eye +off him, its all up. (_The lion holds up his wounded paw and flaps it +piteously before Androcles_). Oh, he’s lame, poor old chap! He’s got a +thorn in his paw. A frightfully big thorn. (_Full of sympathy_) Oh, +poor old man! Did um get an awful thorn into um’s tootsums wootsums? +Has it made um too sick to eat a nice little Christian man for um’s +breakfast? Oh, a nice little Christian man will get um’s thorn out for +um; and then um shall eat the nice Christian man and the nice Christian +man’s nice big tender wifey pifey. (_The lion responds by moans of +self-pity_). Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Now, now (_taking the paw in his +hand_) um is not to bite and not to scratch, not even if it hurts a +very, very little. Now make velvet paws. That’s right. (_He pulls +gingerly at the thorn. The lion, with an angry yell of pain, jerks back +his paw so abruptly that Androcles is thrown on his back_). Steadeee! +Oh, did the nasty cruel little Christian man hurt the sore paw? (_The +lion moans assentingly but apologetically_). Well, one more little pull +and it will be all over. Just one little, little, leetle pull; and then +um will live happily ever after. (_He gives the thorn another pull. The +lion roars and snaps his jaws with a terrifying clash_). Oh, mustn’t +frighten um’s good kind doctor, um’s affectionate nursey. That didn’t +hurt at all: not a bit. Just one more. Just to show how the brave big +lion can bear pain, not like the little crybaby Christian man. Oopsh! +(_The thorn comes out. The lion yells with pain, and shakes his paw +wildly_). That’s it! (_Holding up the thorn_). Now it’s out. Now lick +um’s paw to take away the nasty inflammation. See? (_He licks his own +hand. The lion nods intelligently and licks his paw industriously_). +Clever little liony-piony! Understands um’s dear old friend Andy Wandy. +(_The lion licks his face_). Yes, kissums Andy Wandy. (_The lion, +wagging his tail violently, rises on his hind legs and embraces +Androcles, who makes a wry face and cries_) Velvet paws! Velvet paws! +(_The lion draws in his claws_). That’s right. (_He embraces the lion, +who finally takes the end of his tail in one paw, places that tight +around Androcles’ waist, resting it on his hip. Androcles takes the +other paw in his hand, stretches out his arm, and the two waltz +rapturously round and round and finally away through the jungle_). + +MEGAERA. +(_who has revived during the waltz_) Oh, you coward, you haven’t danced +with me for years; and now you go off dancing with a great brute beast +that you haven’t known for ten minutes and that wants to eat your own +wife. Coward! Coward! Coward! (_She rushes off after them into the +jungle_). + + + + + ACT I + + +Evening. The end of three converging roads to Rome. Three triumphal +arches span them where they debouch on a square at the gate of the +city. Looking north through the arches one can see the campagna +threaded by the three long dusty tracks. On the east and west sides of +the square are long stone benches. An old beggar sits on the east side +of the square, his bowl at his feet. Through the eastern arch a squad +of Roman soldiers tramps along escorting a batch of Christian prisoners +of both sexes and all ages, among them one Lavinia, a goodlooking +resolute young woman, apparently of higher social standing than her +fellow-prisoners. A centurion, carrying his vinewood cudgel, trudges +alongside the squad, on its right, in command of it. All are tired and +dusty; but the soldiers are dogged and indifferent, the Christians +light-hearted and determined to treat their hardships as a joke and +encourage one another. + +_A bugle is heard far behind on the road, where the rest of the cohort +is following._ + +CENTURION. +(_stopping_) Halt! Orders from the Captain. (_They halt and wait_). Now +then, you Christians, none of your larks. The captain’s coming. Mind +you behave yourselves. No singing. Look respectful. Look serious, if +you’re capable of it. See that big building over there? That’s the +Coliseum. That’s where you’ll be thrown to the lions or set to fight +the gladiators presently. Think of that; and it’ll help you to behave +properly before the captain. (_The Captain arrives_). Attention! +Salute! (_The soldiers salute_). + +A CHRISTIAN. +(_cheerfully_) God bless you, Captain. + +THE CENTURION. +(_scandalised_) Silence! + +_The Captain, a patrician, handsome, about thirty-five, very cold and +distinguished, very superior and authoritative, steps up on a stone +seat at the west side of the square, behind the centurion, so as to +dominate the others more effectually._ + +THE CAPTAIN. +Centurion. + +THE CENTURION. +(_standing at attention and saluting_) Sir? + +THE CAPTAIN. +(_speaking stiffly and officially_) You will remind your men, +Centurion, that we are now entering Rome. You will instruct them that +once inside the gates of Rome they are in the presence of the Emperor. +You will make them understand that the lax discipline of the march +cannot be permitted here. You will instruct them to shave every day, +not every week. You will impress on them particularly that there must +be an end to the profanity and blasphemy of singing Christian hymns on +the march. I have to reprimand you, Centurion, for not only allowing +this, but actually doing it yourself. + +THE CENTURION. +The men march better, Captain. + +THE CAPTAIN. +No doubt. For that reason an exception is made in the case of the march +called Onward Christian Soldiers. This may be sung, except when +marching through the forum or within hearing of the Emperor’s palace; +but the words must be altered to “Throw them to the Lions.” + +_The Christians burst into shrieks of uncontrollable laughter, to the +great scandal of the Centurion._ + +CENTURION. +Silence! Silen-n-n-n-nce! Where’s your behavior? Is that the way to +listen to an officer? (_To the Captain_) That’s what we have to put up +with from these Christians every day, sir. They’re always laughing and +joking something scandalous. They’ve no religion: that’s how it is. + +LAVINIA. +But I think the Captain meant us to laugh, Centurion. It was so funny. + +CENTURION. +You’ll find out how funny it is when you’re thrown to the lions +to-morrow. (_To the Captain, who looks displeased_) Beg pardon, Sir. +(_To the Christians_) Silennnnce! + +THE CAPTAIN. +You are to instruct your men that all intimacy with Christian prisoners +must now cease. The men have fallen into habits of dependence upon the +prisoners, especially the female prisoners, for cooking, repairs to +uniforms, writing letters, and advice in their private affairs. In a +Roman soldier such dependence is inadmissible. Let me see no more of it +whilst we are in the city. Further, your orders are that in addressing +Christian prisoners, the manners and tone of your men must express +abhorrence and contempt. Any shortcoming in this respect will be +regarded as a breach of discipline. (_He turns to the prisoners_) +Prisoners. + +CENTURION. +(_fiercely_) Prisonerrrrrs! Tention! Silence! + +THE CAPTAIN. +I call your attention, prisoners, to the fact that you may be called on +to appear in the Imperial Circus at any time from tomorrow onwards +according to the requirements of the managers. I may inform you that as +there is a shortage of Christians just now, you may expect to be called +on very soon. + +LAVINIA. +What will they do to us, Captain? + +CENTURION. +Silence! + +THE CAPTAIN. +The women will be conducted into the arena with the wild beasts of the +Imperial Menagerie, and will suffer the consequences. The men, if of an +age to bear arms, will be given weapons to defend themselves, if they +choose, against the Imperial Gladiators. + +LAVINIA. +Captain: is there no hope that this cruel persecution— + +CENTURION. +(_shocked_) Silence! Hold your tongue, there. Persecution, indeed! + +THE CAPTAIN. +(_unmoved and somewhat sardonic_) Persecution is not a term applicable +to the acts of the Emperor. The Emperor is the Defender of the Faith. +In throwing you to the lions he will be upholding the interests of +religion in Rome. If you were to throw him to the lions, that would no +doubt be persecution. + +_The Christians again laugh heartily._ + +CENTURION. +(_horrified_) Silence, I tell you! Keep silence there. Did anyone ever +hear the like of this? + +LAVINIA. +Captain: there will be nobody to appreciate your jokes when we are +gone. + +THE CAPTAIN. +(_unshaken in his official delivery_) I call the attention of the +female prisoner Lavinia to the fact that as the Emperor is a divine +personage, her imputation of cruelty is not only treason, but +sacrilege. I point out to her further that there is no foundation for +the charge, as the Emperor does not desire that any prisoner should +suffer; nor can any Christian be harmed save through his or her own +obstinacy. All that is necessary is to sacrifice to the gods: a simple +and convenient ceremony effected by dropping a pinch of incense on the +altar, after which the prisoner is at once set free. Under such +circumstances you have only your own perverse folly to blame if you +suffer. I suggest to you that if you cannot burn a morsel of incense as +a matter of conviction, you might at least do so as a matter of good +taste, to avoid shocking the religious convictions of your fellow +citizens. I am aware that these considerations do not weigh with +Christians; but it is my duty to call your attention to them in order +that you may have no ground for complaining of your treatment, or of +accusing the Emperor of cruelty when he is showing you the most signal +clemency. Looked at from this point of view, every Christian who has +perished in the arena has really committed suicide. + +LAVINIA. +Captain: your jokes are too grim. Do not think it is easy for us to +die. Our faith makes life far stronger and more wonderful in us than +when we walked in darkness and had nothing to live for. Death is harder +for us than for you: the martyr’s agony is as bitter as his triumph is +glorious. + +THE CAPTAIN. +(_rather troubled, addressing her personally and gravely_) A martyr, +Lavinia, is a fool. Your death will prove nothing. + +LAVINIA. +Then why kill me? + +THE CAPTAIN. +I mean that truth, if there be any truth, needs no martyrs. + +LAVINIA. +No; but my faith, like your sword, needs testing. Can you test your +sword except by staking your life on it? + +THE CAPTAIN. +(_suddenly resuming his official tone_) I call the attention of the +female prisoner to the fact that Christians are not allowed to draw the +Emperor’s officers into arguments and put questions to them for which +the military regulations provide no answer. (_The Christians titter_). + +LAVINIA. +Captain: how CAN you? + +THE CAPTAIN. +I call the female prisoner’s attention specially to the fact that four +comfortable homes have been offered her by officers of this regiment, +of which she can have her choice the moment she chooses to sacrifice as +all well-bred Roman ladies do. I have no more to say to the prisoners. + +CENTURION. +Dismiss! But stay where you are. + +THE CAPTAIN. +Centurion: you will remain here with your men in charge of the +prisoners until the arrival of three Christian prisoners in the custody +of a cohort of the tenth legion. Among these prisoners you will +particularly identify an armorer named Ferrovius, of dangerous +character and great personal strength, and a Greek tailor reputed to be +a sorcerer, by name Androcles. You will add the three to your charge +here and march them all to the Coliseum, where you will deliver them +into the custody of the master of the gladiators and take his receipt, +countersigned by the keeper of the beasts and the acting manager. You +understand your instructions? + +CENTURION. +Yes, Sir. + +THE CAPTAIN. +Dismiss. (_He throws off his air of parade, and descends down from the +perch. The Centurion seats on it and prepares for a nap, whilst his men +stand at ease. The Christians sit down on the west side of the square, +glad to rest. Lavinia alone remains standing to speak to the Captain_). + +LAVINIA. +Captain: is this man who is to join us the famous Ferrovius, who has +made such wonderful conversions in the northern cities? + +THE CAPTAIN. +Yes. We are warned that he has the strength of an elephant and the +temper of a mad bull. Also that he is stark mad. Not a model Christian, +it would seem. + +LAVINIA. +You need not fear him if he is a Christian, Captain. + +THE CAPTAIN. +(_coldly_) I shall not fear him in any case, Lavinia. + +LAVINIA. +(_her eyes dancing_) How brave of you, Captain! + +THE CAPTAIN. +You are right: it was silly thing to say. (_In a lower tone, humane and +urgent_) Lavinia: do Christians know how to love? + +LAVINIA. +(_composedly_) Yes, Captain: they love even their enemies. + +THE CAPTAIN. +Is that easy? + +LAVINIA. +Very easy, Captain, when their enemies are as handsome as you. + +THE CAPTAIN. +Lavinia: you are laughing at me. + +LAVINIA. +At you, Captain! Impossible. + +THE CAPTAIN. +Then you are flirting with me, which is worse. Don’t be foolish. + +LAVINIA. +But such a very handsome captain. + +THE CAPTAIN. +Incorrigible! (_Urgently_) Listen to me. The men in that audience +tomorrow will be the vilest of voluptuaries: men in whom the only +passion excited by a beautiful woman is a lust to see her tortured and +torn shrieking limb from limb. It is a crime to dignify that passion. +It is offering yourself for violation by the whole rabble of the +streets and the riff-raff of the court at the same time. Why will you +not choose rather a kindly love and an honorable alliance? + +LAVINIA. +They cannot violate my soul. I alone can do that by sacrificing to +false gods. + +THE CAPTAIN. +Sacrifice then to the true God. What does his name matter? We call him +Jupiter. The Greeks call him Zeus. Call him what you will as you drop +the incense on the altar flame: He will understand. + +LAVINIA. +No. I couldn’t. That is the strange thing, Captain, that a little pinch +of incense should make all that difference. Religion is such a great +thing that when I meet really religious people we are friends at once, +no matter what name we give to the divine will that made us and moves +us. Oh, do you think that I, a woman, would quarrel with you for +sacrificing to a woman god like Diana, if Diana meant to you what +Christ means to me? No: we should kneel side by side before her altar +like two children. But when men who believe neither in my god nor in +their own—men who do not know the meaning of the word religion—when +these men drag me to the foot of an iron statue that has become the +symbol of the terror and darkness through which they walk, of their +cruelty and greed, of their hatred of God and their oppression of +man—when they ask me to pledge my soul before the people that this +hideous idol is God, and that all this wickedness and falsehood is +divine truth, I cannot do it, not if they could put a thousand cruel +deaths on me. I tell you, it is physically impossible. Listen, Captain: +did you ever try to catch a mouse in your hand? Once there was a dear +little mouse that used to come out and play on my table as I was +reading. I wanted to take him in my hand and caress him; and sometimes +he got among my books so that he could not escape me when I stretched +out my hand. And I did stretch out my hand; but it always came back in +spite of me. I was not afraid of him in my heart; but my hand refused: +it is not in the nature of my hand to touch a mouse. Well, Captain, if +I took a pinch of incense in my hand and stretched it out over the +altar fire, my hand would come back. My body would be true to my faith +even if you could corrupt my mind. And all the time I should believe +more in Diana than my persecutors have ever believed in anything. Can +you understand that? + +THE CAPTAIN. +(_simply_) Yes: I understand that. But my hand would not come back. The +hand that holds the sword has been trained not to come back from +anything but victory. + +LAVINIA. +Not even from death? + +THE CAPTAIN. +Least of all from death. + +LAVINIA. +Then I must not come back either. A woman has to be braver than a +soldier. + +THE CAPTAIN. +Prouder, you mean. + +LAVINIA. +(_startled_) Prouder! You call our courage pride! + +THE CAPTAIN. +There is no such thing as courage: there is only pride. You Christians +are the proudest devils on earth. + +LAVINIA. +(_hurt_) Pray God then my pride may never become a false pride. (_She +turns away as if she did not wish to continue the conversation, but +softens and says to him with a smile_) Thank you for trying to save me +from death. + +THE CAPTAIN. +I knew it was no use; but one tries in spite of one’s knowledge. + +LAVINIA. +Something stirs, even in the iron breast of a Roman soldier! + +THE CAPTAIN. +It will soon be iron again. I have seen many women die, and forgotten +them in a week. + +LAVINIA. +Remember me for a fortnight, handsome Captain. I shall be watching you, +perhaps. + +THE CAPTAIN. +From the skies? Do not deceive yourself, Lavinia. There is no future +for you beyond the grave. + +LAVINIA. +What does that matter? Do you think I am only running away from the +terrors of life into the comfort of heaven? If there were no future, or +if the future were one of torment, I should have to go just the same. +The hand of God is upon me. + +THE CAPTAIN. +Yes: when all is said, we are both patricians, Lavinia, and must die +for our beliefs. Farewell. (_He offers her his hand. She takes it and +presses it. He walks away, trim and calm. She looks after him for a +moment, and cries a little as he disappears through the eastern arch. A +trumpet-call is heard from the road through the western arch_). + +CENTURION. +(_waking up and rising_) Cohort of the tenth with prisoners. Two file +out with me to receive them. (_He goes out through the western arch, +followed by four soldiers in two files_). + +_Lentulus and Metellus come into the square from the west side with a +little retinue of servants. Both are young courtiers, dressed in the +extremity of fashion. Lentulus is slender, fair-haired, epicene. +Metellus is manly, compactly built, olive skinned, not a talker._ + +LENTULUS. +Christians, by Jove! Let’s chaff them. + +METELLUS. +Awful brutes. If you knew as much about them as I do you wouldn’t want +to chaff them. Leave them to the lions. + +LENTULUS. +(_indicating Lavinia, who is still looking towards the arches after the +captain_). That woman’s got a figure. (_He walks past her, staring at +her invitingly, but she is preoccupied and is not conscious of him_). +Do you turn the other cheek when they kiss you? + +LAVINIA. +(_starting_) What? + +LENTULUS. +Do you turn the other cheek when they kiss you, fascinating Christian? + +LAVINIA. +Don’t be foolish. (_To Metellus, who has remained on her right, so that +she is between them_) Please don’t let your friend behave like a cad +before the soldiers. How are they to respect and obey patricians if +they see them behaving like street boys? (_Sharply to Lentulus_) Pull +yourself together, man. Hold your head up. Keep the corners of your +mouth firm; and treat me respectfully. What do you take me for? + +LENTULUS. +(_irresolutely_) Look here, you know: I—you—I— + +LAVINIA. +Stuff! Go about your business. (_She turns decisively away and sits +down with her comrades, leaving him disconcerted_). + +METELLUS. +You didn’t get much out of that. I told you they were brutes. + +LENTULUS. +Plucky little filly! I suppose she thinks I care. (_With an air of +indifference he strolls with Metellus to the east side of the square, +where they stand watching the return of the Centurion through the +western arch with his men, escorting three prisoners: Ferrovius, +Androcles, and Spintho. Ferrovius is a powerful, choleric man in the +prime of life, with large nostrils, staring eyes, and a thick neck: a +man whose sensibilities are keen and violent to the verge of madness. +Spintho is a debauchee, the wreck of a good-looking man gone hopelessly +to the bad. Androcles is overwhelmed with grief, and is restraining his +tears with great difficulty_). + +THE CENTURION. +(_to Lavinia_) Here are some pals for you. This little bit is Ferrovius +that you talk so much about. (_Ferrovius turns on him threateningly. +The Centurion holds up his left forefinger in admonition_). Now +remember that you’re a Christian, and that you’ve got to return good +for evil. (_Ferrovius controls himself convulsively; moves away from +temptation to the east side near Lentulus; clasps his hands in silent +prayer; and throws himself on his knees_). That’s the way to manage +them, eh! This fine fellow (_indicating Androcles, who comes to his +left, and makes Lavinia a heartbroken salutation_) is a sorcerer. A +Greek tailor, he is. A real sorcerer, too: no mistake about it. The +tenth marches with a leopard at the head of the column. He made a pet +of the leopard; and now he’s crying at being parted from it. +(_Androcles sniffs lamentably_). Ain’t you, old chap? Well, cheer up, +we march with a Billy goat (_Androcles brightens up_) that’s killed two +leopards and ate a turkey-cock. You can have him for a pet if you like. +(_Androcles, quite consoled, goes past the Centurion to Lavinia, and +sits down contentedly on the ground on her left_). This dirty dog +(_collaring Spintho_) is a real Christian. He mobs the temples, he does +(_at each accusation he gives the neck of Spintho’s tunic a twist_); he +goes smashing things mad drunk, he does; he steals the gold vessels, he +does; he assaults the priestesses, he does pah! (_He flings Spintho +into the middle of the group of prisoners_). You’re the sort that makes +duty a pleasure, you are. + +SPINTHO. +(_gasping_) That’s it: strangle me. Kick me. Beat me. Revile me. Our +Lord was beaten and reviled. That’s my way to heaven. Every martyr goes +to heaven, no matter what he’s done. That is so, isn’t it, brother? + +CENTURION. +Well, if you’re going to heaven, _I_ don’t want to go there. I wouldn’t +be seen with you. + +LENTULUS. +Haw! Good! (_Indicating the kneeling Ferrovius_). Is this one of the +turn-the-other-cheek gentlemen, Centurion? + +CENTURION. +Yes, sir. Lucky for you too, sir, if you want to take any liberties +with him. + +LENTULUS. +(_to Ferrovius_) You turn the other cheek when you’re struck, I’m told. + +FERROVIUS. +(_slowly turning his great eyes on him_) Yes, by the grace of God, I +do, now. + +LENTULUS. +Not that you’re a coward, of course; but out of pure piety. + +FERROVIUS. +I fear God more than man; at least I try to. + +LENTULUS. +Let’s see. (_He strikes him on the cheek. Androcles makes a wild +movement to rise and interfere; but Lavinia holds him down, watching +Ferrovius intently. Ferrovius, without flinching, turns the other +cheek. Lentulus, rather out of countenance, titters foolishly, and +strikes him again feebly_). You know, I should feel ashamed if I let +myself be struck like that, and took it lying down. But then I’m not a +Christian: I’m a man. (_Ferrovius rises impressively and towers over +him. Lentulus becomes white with terror; and a shade of green flickers +in his cheek for a moment_). + +FERROVIUS. +(_with the calm of a steam hammer_) I have not always been faithful. +The first man who struck me as you have just struck me was a stronger +man than you: he hit me harder than I expected. I was tempted and fell; +and it was then that I first tasted bitter shame. I never had a happy +moment after that until I had knelt and asked his forgiveness by his +bedside in the hospital. (_Putting his hands on Lentulus’s shoulders +with paternal weight_). But now I have learnt to resist with a strength +that is not my own. I am not ashamed now, nor angry. + +LENTULUS. +(_uneasily_) Er—good evening. (_He tries to move away_). + +FERROVIUS. +(_gripping his shoulders_) Oh, do not harden your heart, young man. +Come: try for yourself whether our way is not better than yours. I will +now strike you on one cheek; and you will turn the other and learn how +much better you will feel than if you gave way to the promptings of +anger. (_He holds him with one hand and clenches the other fist_). + +LENTULUS. +Centurion: I call on you to protect me. + +CENTURION. +You asked for it, sir. It’s no business of ours. You’ve had two whacks +at him. Better pay him a trifle and square it that way. + +LENTULUS. +Yes, of course. (_To Ferrovius_) It was only a bit of fun, I assure +you: I meant no harm. Here. (_He proffers a gold coin_). + +FERROVIUS. +(_taking it and throwing it to the old beggar, who snatches it up +eagerly, and hobbles off to spend it_) Give all thou hast to the poor. +Come, friend: courage! I may hurt your body for a moment; but your soul +will rejoice in the victory of the spirit over the flesh. (_He prepares +to strike_). + +ANDROCLES. +Easy, Ferrovius, easy: you broke the last man’s jaw. + +_Lentulus, with a moan of terror, attempts to fly; but Ferrovius holds +him ruthlessly._ + +FERROVIUS. +Yes; but I saved his soul. What matters a broken jaw? + +LENTULUS. +Don’t touch me, do you hear? The law— + +FERROVIUS. +The law will throw me to the lions tomorrow: what worse could it do +were I to slay you? Pray for strength; and it shall be given to you. + +LENTULUS. +Let me go. Your religion forbids you to strike me. + +FERROVIUS. +On the contrary, it commands me to strike you. How can you turn the +other cheek, if you are not first struck on the one cheek? + +LENTULUS. +(_almost in tears_) But I’m convinced already that what you said is +quite right. I apologize for striking you. + +FERROVIUS. +(_greatly pleased_) My son: have I softened your heart? Has the good +seed fallen in a fruitful place? Are your feet turning towards a better +path? + +LENTULUS. +(_abjectly_) Yes, yes. There’s a great deal in what you say. + +FERROVIUS. +(_radiant_) Join us. Come to the lions. Come to suffering and death. + +LENTULUS. +(_falling on his knees and bursting into tears_) Oh, help me. Mother! +mother! + +FERROVIUS. +These tears will water your soul and make it bring forth good fruit, my +son. God has greatly blessed my efforts at conversion. Shall I tell you +a miracle—yes, a miracle—wrought by me in Cappadocia? A young man—just +such a one as you, with golden hair like yours—scoffed at and struck me +as you scoffed at and struck me. I sat up all night with that youth +wrestling for his soul; and in the morning not only was he a Christian, +but his hair was as white as snow. (_Lentulus falls in a dead faint_). +There, there: take him away. The spirit has overwrought him, poor lad. +Carry him gently to his house; and leave the rest to heaven. + +CENTURION. +Take him home. (_The servants, intimidated, hastily carry him out. +Metellus is about to follow when Ferrovius lays his hand on his +shoulder_). + +FERROVIUS. +You are his friend, young man. You will see that he is taken safely +home. + +METELLUS. +(_with awestruck civility_) Certainly, sir. I shall do whatever you +think best. Most happy to have made your acquaintance, I’m sure. You +may depend on me. Good evening, sir. + +FERROVIUS. +(_with unction_) The blessing of heaven upon you and him. + +_Metellus follows Lentulus. The Centurion returns to his seat to resume +his interrupted nap. The deepest awe has settled on the spectators. +Ferrovius, with a long sigh of happiness, goes to Lavinia, and offers +her his hand._ + +LAVINIA. +(_taking it_) So that is how you convert people, Ferrovius. + +FERROVIUS. +Yes: there has been a blessing on my work in spite of my unworthiness +and my backslidings—all through my wicked, devilish temper. This man— + +ANDROCLES. +(_hastily_) Don’t slap me on the back, brother. She knows you mean me. + +FERROVIUS. +How I wish I were weak like our brother here! for then I should perhaps +be meek and gentle like him. And yet there seems to be a special +providence that makes my trials less than his. I hear tales of the +crowd scoffing and casting stones and reviling the brethren; but when I +come, all this stops: my influence calms the passions of the mob: they +listen to me in silence; and infidels are often converted by a straight +heart-to-heart talk with me. Every day I feel happier, more confident. +Every day lightens the load of the great terror. + +LAVINIA. +The great terror? What is that? + +_Ferrovius shakes his head and does not answer. He sits down beside her +on her left, and buries his face in his hands in gloomy meditation._ + +ANDROCLES. +Well, you see, sister, he’s never quite sure of himself. Suppose at the +last moment in the arena, with the gladiators there to fight him, one +of them was to say anything to annoy him, he might forget himself and +lay that gladiator out. + +LAVINIA. +That would be splendid. + +FERROVIUS. +(_springing up in horror_) What! + +ANDROCLES. +Oh, sister! + +FERROVIUS. +Splendid to betray my master, like Peter! Splendid to act like any +common blackguard in the day of my proving! Woman: you are no +Christian. (_He moves away from her to the middle of the square, as if +her neighborhood contaminated him_). + +LAVINIA. +(_laughing_) You know, Ferrovius, I am not always a Christian. I don’t +think anybody is. There are moments when I forget all about it, and +something comes out quite naturally, as it did then. + +SPINTHO. +What does it matter? If you die in the arena, you’ll be a martyr; and +all martyrs go to heaven, no matter what they have done. That’s so, +isn’t it, Ferrovius? + +FERROVIUS. +Yes: that is so, if we are faithful to the end. + +LAVINIA. +I’m not so sure. + +SPINTHO. +Don’t say that. That’s blasphemy. Don’t say that, I tell you. We shall +be saved, no matter WHAT we do. + +LAVINIA. +Perhaps you men will all go into heaven bravely and in triumph, with +your heads erect and golden trumpets sounding for you. But I am sure I +shall only be allowed to squeeze myself in through a little crack in +the gate after a great deal of begging. I am not good always: I have +moments only. + +SPINTHO. +You’re talking nonsense, woman. I tell you, martyrdom pays all scores. + +ANDROCLES. +Well, let us hope so, brother, for your sake. You’ve had a gay time, +haven’t you? with your raids on the temples. I can’t help thinking that +heaven will be very dull for a man of your temperament. (_Spintho +snarls_). Don’t be angry: I say it only to console you in case you +should die in your bed tonight in the natural way. There’s a lot of +plague about. + +SPINTHO. +(_rising and running about in abject terror_) I never thought of that. +O Lord, spare me to be martyred. Oh, what a thought to put into the +mind of a brother! Oh, let me be martyred today, now. I shall die in +the night and go to hell. You’re a sorcerer: you’ve put death into my +mind. Oh, curse you, curse you! (_He tries to seize Androcles by the +throat_). + +FERROVIUS. +(_holding him in a grip of iron_) What’s this, brother? Anger! +Violence! Raising your hand to a brother Christian! + +SPINTHO. +It’s easy for you. You’re strong. Your nerves are all right. But I’m +full of disease. (_Ferrovius takes his hand from him with instinctive +disgust_). I’ve drunk all my nerves away. I shall have the horrors all +night. + +ANDROCLES. +(_sympathetic_) Oh, don’t take on so, brother. We’re all sinners. + +SPINTHO. +(_snivelling, trying to feel consoled_). Yes: I daresay if the truth +were known, you’re all as bad as I am. + +LAVINIA. +(_contemptuously_) Does that comfort you? + +FERROVIUS. +(_sternly_) Pray, man, pray. + +SPINTHO. +What’s the good of praying? If we’re martyred we shall go to heaven, +shan’t we, whether we pray or not? + +FERROVIUS. +What’s that? Not pray! (_Seizing him again_) Pray this instant, you +dog, you rotten hound, you slimy snake, you beastly goat, or— + +SPINTHO. +Yes: beat me: kick me. I forgive you: mind that. + +FERROVIUS. +(_spurning him with loathing_) Yah! (_Spintho reels away and falls in +front of Ferrovius_). + +ANDROCLES. +(_reaching out and catching the skirt of Ferrovius’s tunic_) Dear +brother: if you wouldn’t mind—just for my sake— + +FERROVIUS. +Well? + +ANDROCLES. +Don’t call him by the names of the animals. We’ve no right to. I’ve had +such friends in dogs. A pet snake is the best of company. I was nursed +on goat’s milk. Is it fair to them to call the like of him a dog or a +snake or a goat? + +FERROVIUS. +I only meant that they have no souls. + +ANDROCLES. +(_anxiously protesting_) Oh, believe me, they have. Just the same as +you and me. I really don’t think I could consent to go to heaven if I +thought there were to be no animals there. Think of what they suffer +here. + +FERROVIUS. +That’s true. Yes: that is just. They will have their share in heaven. + +SPINTHO. +(_who has picked himself up and is sneaking past Ferrovius on his left, +sneers derisively_)!! + +FERROVIUS. +(_turning on him fiercely_) What’s that you say? + +SPINTHO. +(_cornering_). Nothing. + +FERROVIUS. +(_clenching his fist_) Do animals go to heaven or not? + +SPINTHO. +I never said they didn’t. + +FERROVIUS. +(_implacable_) Do they or do they not? + +SPINTHO. +They do: they do. (_Scrambling out of Ferrovius’s reach_). Oh, curse +you for frightening me! + +_A bugle call is heard._ + +CENTURION. +(_waking up_) Tention! Form as before. Now then, prisoners, up with you +and trot along spry. (_The soldiers fall in. The Christians rise_). + +A man with an ox goad comes running through the central arch. + +THE OX DRIVER. +Here, you soldiers! clear out of the way for the Emperor. + +THE CENTURION. +Emperor! Where’s the Emperor? You ain’t the Emperor, are you? + +THE OX DRIVER. +It’s the menagerie service. My team of oxen is drawing the new lion to +the Coliseum. You clear the road. + +CENTURION. +What! Go in after you in your dust, with half the town at the heels of +you and your lion! Not likely. We go first. + +THE OX DRIVER. +The menagerie service is the Emperor’s personal retinue. You clear out, +I tell you. + +CENTURION. +You tell me, do you? Well, I’ll tell you something. If the lion is +menagerie service, the lion’s dinner is menagerie service too. This +(_pointing to the Christians_) is the lion’s dinner. So back with you +to your bullocks double quick; and learn your place. March. (_The +soldiers start_). Now then, you Christians, step out there. + +LAVINIA. +(_marching_) Come along, the rest of the dinner. I shall be the olives +and anchovies. + +ANOTHER CHRISTIAN. +(_laughing_) I shall be the soup. + +ANOTHER. I shall be the fish. + +ANOTHER. Ferrovius shall be the roast boar. + +FERROVIUS. +(_heavily_) I see the joke. Yes, yes: I shall be the roast boar. Ha! +ha! (_He laughs conscientiously and marches out with them_). + +ANDROCLES. +I shall be the mince pie. (_Each announcement is received with a louder +laugh by all the rest as the joke catches on_). + +CENTURION. +(_scandalised_) Silence! Have some sense of your situation. Is this the +way for martyrs to behave? (_To Spintho, who is quaking and loitering_) +I know what you’ll be at that dinner. You’ll be the emetic. (_He shoves +him rudely along_). + +SPINTHO. +It’s too dreadful: I’m not fit to die. + +CENTURION. +Fitter than you are to live, you swine. + +_They pass from the square westward. The oxen, drawing a waggon with a +great wooden cage and the lion in it, arrive through the central arch._ + + + + + ACT II + + +Behind the Emperor’s box at the Coliseum, where the performers assemble +before entering the arena. In the middle a wide passage leading to the +arena descends from the floor level under the imperial box. On both +sides of this passage steps ascend to a landing at the back entrance to +the box. The landing forms a bridge across the passage. At the entrance +to the passage are two bronze mirrors, one on each side. + +On the west side of this passage, on the right hand of any one coming +from the box and standing on the bridge, the martyrs are sitting on the +steps. Lavinia is seated half-way up, thoughtful, trying to look death +in the face. On her left Androcles consoles himself by nursing a cat. +Ferrovius stands behind them, his eyes blazing, his figure stiff with +intense resolution. At the foot of the steps crouches Spintho, with his +head clutched in his hands, full of horror at the approach of +martyrdom. + +On the east side of the passage the gladiators are standing and sitting +at ease, waiting, like the Christians, for their turn in the arena. One +(_Retiarius_) is a nearly naked man with a net and a trident. Another +(_Secutor_) is in armor with a sword. He carries a helmet with a barred +visor. The editor of the gladiators sits on a chair a little apart from +them. + +_The Call Boy enters from the passage._ + +THE CALL BOY. +Number six. Retiarius versus Secutor. + +_The gladiator with the net picks it up. The gladiator with the helmet +puts it on; and the two go into the arena, the net thrower taking out a +little brush and arranging his hair as he goes, the other tightening +his straps and shaking his shoulders loose. Both look at themselves in +the mirrors before they enter the passage._ + +LAVINIA. +Will they really kill one another? + +SPINTHO. +Yes, if the people turn down their thumbs. + +THE EDITOR. +You know nothing about it. The people indeed! Do you suppose we would +kill a man worth perhaps fifty talents to please the riffraff? I should +like to catch any of my men at it. + +SPINTHO. +I thought— + +THE EDITOR. +(_contemptuously_) You thought! Who cares what you think? You’ll be +killed all right enough. + +SPINTHO. +(_groans and again hides his face_)!!! Then is nobody ever killed +except us poor— + +LAVINIA. +Christians? + +THE EDITOR. +If the vestal virgins turn down their thumbs, that’s another matter. +They’re ladies of rank. + +LAVINIA. +Does the Emperor ever interfere? + +THE EDITOR. +Oh, yes: he turns his thumbs up fast enough if the vestal virgins want +to have one of his pet fighting men killed. + +ANDROCLES. +But don’t they ever just only pretend to kill one another? Why +shouldn’t you pretend to die, and get dragged out as if you were dead; +and then get up and go home, like an actor? + +THE EDITOR. +See here: you want to know too much. There will be no pretending about +the new lion: let that be enough for you. He’s hungry. + +SPINTHO. +(_groaning with horror_) Oh, Lord! Can’t you stop talking about it? +Isn’t it bad enough for us without that? + +ANDROCLES. +I’m glad he’s hungry. Not that I want him to suffer, poor chap! but +then he’ll enjoy eating me so much more. There’s a cheerful side to +everything. + +THE EDITOR. +(_rising and striding over to Androcles_) Here: don’t you be obstinate. +Come with me and drop the pinch of incense on the altar. That’s all you +need do to be let off. + +ANDROCLES. +No: thank you very much indeed; but I really mustn’t. + +THE EDITOR. +What! Not to save your life? + +ANDROCLES. +I’d rather not. I couldn’t sacrifice to Diana: she’s a huntress, you +know, and kills things. + +THE EDITOR. +That don’t matter. You can choose your own altar. Sacrifice to Jupiter: +he likes animals: he turns himself into an animal when he goes off +duty. + +ANDROCLES. +No: it’s very kind of you; but I feel I can’t save myself that way. + +THE EDITOR. +But I don’t ask you to do it to save yourself: I ask you to do it to +oblige me personally. + +ANDROCLES. +(_scrambling up in the greatest agitation_) Oh, please don’t say that. +That is dreadful. You mean so kindly by me that it seems quite horrible +to disoblige you. If you could arrange for me to sacrifice when there’s +nobody looking, I shouldn’t mind. But I must go into the arena with the +rest. My honor, you know. + +THE EDITOR. +Honor! The honor of a tailor? + +ANDROCLES. +(_apologetically_) Well, perhaps honor is too strong an expression. +Still, you know, I couldn’t allow the tailors to get a bad name through +me. + +THE EDITOR. +How much will you remember of all that when you smell the beast’s +breath and see his jaws opening to tear out your throat? + +SPINTHO. +(_rising with a yell of terror_) I can’t bear it. Where’s the altar? +I’ll sacrifice. + +FERROVIUS. +Dog of an apostate. Iscariot! + +SPINTHO. +I’ll repent afterwards. I fully mean to die in the arena I’ll die a +martyr and go to heaven; but not this time, not now, not until my +nerves are better. Besides, I’m too young: I want to have just one more +good time. (_The gladiators laugh at him_). Oh, will no one tell me +where the altar is? (_He dashes into the passage and vanishes_). + +ANDROCLES. +(_to the Editor, pointing after Spintho_) Brother: I can’t do that, not +even to oblige you. Don’t ask me. + +THE EDITOR. +Well, if you’re determined to die, I can’t help you. But I wouldn’t be +put off by a swine like that. + +FERROVIUS. +Peace, peace: tempt him not. Get thee behind him, Satan. + +THE EDITOR. +(_flushing with rage_) For two pins I’d take a turn in the arena myself +to-day, and pay you out for daring to talk to me like that. + +_Ferrovius springs forward._ + +LAVINIA. +(_rising quickly and interposing_) Brother, brother: you forget. + +FERROVIUS. +(_curbing himself by a mighty effort_) Oh, my temper, my wicked temper! +(_To the Editor, as Lavinia sits down again, reassured_). Forgive me, +brother. My heart was full of wrath: I should have been thinking of +your dear precious soul. + +THE EDITOR. +Yah! (_He turns his back on Ferrovius contemptuously, and goes back to +his seat_). + +FERROVIUS. +(_continuing_) And I forgot it all: I thought of nothing but offering +to fight you with one hand tied behind me. + +THE EDITOR. +(_turning pugnaciously_) What! + +FERROVIUS. +(_on the border line between zeal and ferocity_) Oh, don’t give way to +pride and wrath, brother. I could do it so easily. I could— + +_They are separated by the Menagerie Keeper, who rushes in from the +passage, furious._ + +THE KEEPER. +Here’s a nice business! Who let that Christian out of here down to the +dens when we were changing the lion into the cage next the arena? + +THE EDITOR. +Nobody let him. He let himself. + +THE KEEPER. +Well, the lion’s ate him. + +_Consternation. The Christians rise, greatly agitated. The gladiators +sit callously, but are highly amused. All speak or cry out or laugh at +once. Tumult._ + +LAVINIA. Oh, poor wretch! FERROVIUS. The apostate has perished. Praise +be to God’s justice! ANDROCLES. The poor beast was starving. It +couldn’t help itself. THE CHRISTIANS. What! Ate him! How frightful! How +terrible! Without a moment to repent! God be merciful to him, a sinner! +Oh, I can’t bear to think of it! In the midst of his sin! Horrible, +horrible! THE EDITOR. Serve the rotter right! THE GLADIATORS. Just +walked into it, he did. He’s martyred all right enough. Good old lion! +Old Jock doesn’t like that: look at his face. Devil a better! The +Emperor will laugh when he hears of it. I can’t help smiling. Ha ha +ha!!!!! + +THE KEEPER. +Now his appetite’s taken off, he won’t as much as look at another +Christian for a week. + +ANDROCLES. +Couldn’t you have saved him brother? + +THE KEEPER. +Saved him! Saved him from a lion that I’d just got mad with hunger! a +wild one that came out of the forest not four weeks ago! He bolted him +before you could say Balbus. + +LAVINIA. +(_sitting down again_) Poor Spintho! And it won’t even count as +martyrdom! + +THE KEEPER. +Serve him right! What call had he to walk down the throat of one of my +lions before he was asked? + +ANDROCLES. +Perhaps the lion won’t eat me now. + +THE KEEPER. +Yes: that’s just like a Christian: think only of yourself! What am I to +do? What am I to say to the Emperor when he sees one of my lions coming +into the arena half asleep? + +THE EDITOR. +Say nothing. Give your old lion some bitters and a morsel of fried fish +to wake up his appetite. (_Laughter_). + +THE KEEPER. +Yes: it’s easy for you to talk; but— + +THE EDITOR. +(_scrambling to his feet_) Sh! Attention there! The Emperor. (_The +Keeper bolts precipitately into the passage. The gladiators rise +smartly and form into line_). + +The Emperor enters on the Christians’ side, conversing with Metellus, +and followed by his suite. + +THE GLADIATORS. +Hail, Caesar! those about to die salute thee. + +CAESAR. +Good morrow, friends. + +_Metellus shakes hands with the Editor, who accepts his condescension +with bluff respect._ + +LAVINIA. +Blessing, Caesar, and forgiveness! + +CAESAR. +(_turning in some surprise at the salutation_) There is no forgiveness +for Christianity. + +LAVINIA. +I did not mean that, Caesar. I mean that we forgive you. + +METELLUS. +An inconceivable liberty! Do you not know, woman, that the Emperor can +do no wrong and therefore cannot be forgiven? + +LAVINIA. +I expect the Emperor knows better. Anyhow, we forgive him. + +THE CHRISTIANS. Amen! + +CAESAR. +Metellus: you see now the disadvantage of too much severity. These +people have no hope; therefore they have nothing to restrain them from +saying what they like to me. They are almost as impertinent as the +gladiators. Which is the Greek sorcerer? + +ANDROCLES. +(_humbly touching his forelock_) Me, your Worship. + +CAESAR. +My Worship! Good! A new title. Well, what miracles can you perform? + +ANDROCLES. +I can cure warts by rubbing them with my tailor’s chalk; and I can live +with my wife without beating her. + +CAESAR. +Is that all? + +ANDROCLES. +You don’t know her, Caesar, or you wouldn’t say that. + +CAESAR. +Ah, well, my friend, we shall no doubt contrive a happy release for +you. Which is Ferrovius? + +FERROVIUS. +I am he. + +CAESAR. +They tell me you can fight. + +FERROVIUS. +It is easy to fight. I can die, Caesar. + +CAESAR. +That is still easier, is it not? + +FERROVIUS. +Not to me, Caesar. Death comes hard to my flesh; and fighting comes +very easily to my spirit (_beating his breast and lamenting_) O sinner +that I am! (_He throws himself down on the steps, deeply discouraged_). + +CAESAR. +Metellus: I should like to have this man in the Pretorian Guard. + +METELLUS. +I should not, Caesar. He looks a spoilsport. There are men in whose +presence it is impossible to have any fun: men who are a sort of +walking conscience. He would make us all uncomfortable. + +CAESAR. +For that reason, perhaps, it might be well to have him. An Emperor can +hardly have too many consciences. (_To Ferrovius_) Listen, Ferrovius. +(_Ferrovius shakes his head and will not look up_). You and your +friends shall not be outnumbered to-day in the arena. You shall have +arms; and there will be no more than one gladiator to each Christian. +If you come out of the arena alive, I will consider favorably any +request of yours, and give you a place in the Pretorian Guard. Even if +the request be that no questions be asked about your faith I shall +perhaps not refuse it. + +FERROVIUS. +I will not fight. I will die. Better stand with the archangels than +with the Pretorian Guard. + +CAESAR. +I cannot believe that the archangels—whoever they may be—would not +prefer to be recruited from the Pretorian Guard. However, as you +please. Come: let us see the show. + +_As the Court ascends the steps, Secutor and the Retiarius return from +the arena through the passage; Secutor covered with dust and very +angry: Retiarius grinning._ + +SECUTOR. +Ha, the Emperor. Now we shall see. Caesar: I ask you whether it is fair +for the Retiarius, instead of making a fair throw of his net at me, to +swish it along the ground and throw the dust in my eyes, and then catch +me when I’m blinded. If the vestals had not turned up their thumbs I +should have been a dead man. + +CAESAR. +(_halting on the stair_) There is nothing in the rules against it. + +SECUTOR. +(_indignantly_) Caesar: is it a dirty trick or is it not? + +CAESAR. +It is a dusty one, my friend. (_Obsequious laughter_). Be on your guard +next time. + +SECUTOR. +Let HIM be on his guard. Next time I’ll throw my sword at his heels and +strangle him with his own net before he can hop off. (_To Retiarius_) +You see if I don’t. (_He goes out past the gladiators, sulky and +furious_). + +CAESAR. +(_to the chuckling Retiarius_). These tricks are not wise, my friend. +The audience likes to see a dead man in all his beauty and splendor. If +you smudge his face and spoil his armor they will show their +displeasure by not letting you kill him. And when your turn comes, they +will remember it against you and turn their thumbs down. + +THE RETIARIUS. +Perhaps that is why I did it, Caesar. He bet me ten sesterces that he +would vanquish me. If I had had to kill him I should not have had the +money. + +CAESAR. +(_indulgent, laughing_) You rogues: there is no end to your tricks. +I’ll dismiss you all and have elephants to fight. They fight fairly. +(_He goes up to his box, and knocks at it. It is opened from within by +the Captain, who stands as on parade to let him pass_). The Call Boy +comes from the passage, followed by three attendants carrying +respectively a bundle of swords, some helmets, and some breastplates +and pieces of armor which they throw down in a heap. + +THE CALL BOY. +By your leave, Caesar. Number eleven! Gladiators and Christians! + +_Ferrovius springs up, ready for martyrdom. The other Christians take +the summons as best they can, some joyful and brave, some patient and +dignified, some tearful and helpless, some embracing one another with +emotion. The Call Boy goes back into the passage._ + +CAESAR. +(_turning at the door of the box_) The hour has come, Ferrovius. I +shall go into my box and see you killed, since you scorn the Pretorian +Guard. (_He goes into the box. The Captain shuts the door, remaining +inside with the Emperor. Metellus and the rest of the suite disperse to +their seats. The Christians, led by Ferrovius, move towards the +passage_). + +LAVINIA. +(_to Ferrovius_) Farewell. + +THE EDITOR. +Steady there. You Christians have got to fight. Here! arm yourselves. + +FERROVIUS. +(_picking up a sword_) I’ll die sword in hand to show people that I +could fight if it were my Master’s will, and that I could kill the man +who kills me if I chose. + +THE EDITOR. +Put on that armor. + +FERROVIUS. +No armor. + +THE EDITOR. +(_bullying him_) Do what you’re told. Put on that armor. + +FERROVIUS. +(_gripping the sword and looking dangerous_) I said, No armor. + +THE EDITOR. +And what am I to say when I am accused of sending a naked man in to +fight my men in armor? + +FERROVIUS. +Say your prayers, brother; and have no fear of the princes of this +world. + +THE EDITOR. +Tsha! You obstinate fool! (_He bites his lips irresolutely, not knowing +exactly what to do_). + +ANDROCLES. +(_to Ferrovius_) Farewell, brother, till we meet in the sweet +by-and-by. + +THE EDITOR. +(_to Androcles_) You are going too. Take a sword there; and put on any +armor you can find to fit you. + +ANDROCLES. +No, really: I can’t fight: I never could. I can’t bring myself to +dislike anyone enough. I’m to be thrown to the lions with the lady. + +THE EDITOR. +Then get out of the way and hold your noise. (_Androcles steps aside +with cheerful docility_). Now then! Are you all ready there? + +_A trumpet is heard from the arena._ + +FERROVIUS. +(_starting convulsively_) Heaven give me strength! + +THE EDITOR. +Aha! That frightens you, does it? + +FERROVIUS. +Man: there is no terror like the terror of that sound to me. When I +hear a trumpet or a drum or the clash of steel or the hum of the +catapult as the great stone flies, fire runs through my veins: I feel +my blood surge up hot behind my eyes: I must charge: I must strike: I +must conquer: Caesar himself will not be safe in his imperial seat if +once that spirit gets loose in me. Oh, brothers, pray! exhort me! +remind me that if I raise my sword my honor falls and my Master is +crucified afresh. + +ANDROCLES. +Just keep thinking how cruelly you might hurt the poor gladiators. + +FERROVIUS. +It does not hurt a man to kill him. + +LAVINIA. +Nothing but faith can save you. + +FERROVIUS. +Faith! Which faith? There are two faiths. There is our faith. And there +is the warrior’s faith, the faith in fighting, the faith that sees God +in the sword. How if that faith should overwhelm me? + +LAVINIA. +You will find your real faith in the hour of trial. + +FERROVIUS. +That is what I fear. I know that I am a fighter. How can I feel sure +that I am a Christian? + +ANDROCLES. +Throw away the sword, brother. + +FERROVIUS. +I cannot. It cleaves to my hand. I could as easily throw a woman I +loved from my arms. (_Starting_) Who spoke that blasphemy? Not I. + +LAVINIA. +I can’t help you, friend. I can’t tell you not to save your own life. +Something wilful in me wants to see you fight your way into heaven. + +FERROVIUS. +Ha! + +ANDROCLES. +But if you are going to give up our faith, brother, why not do it +without hurting anybody? Don’t fight them. Burn the incense. + +FERROVIUS. +Burn the incense! Never. + +LAVINIA. +That is only pride, Ferrovius. + +FERROVIUS. +ONLY pride! What is nobler than pride? (_Conscience stricken_) Oh, I’m +steeped in sin. I’m proud of my pride. + +LAVINIA. +They say we Christians are the proudest devils on earth—that only the +weak are meek. Oh, I am worse than you. I ought to send you to death; +and I am tempting you. + +ANDROCLES. +Brother, brother: let them rage and kill: let us be brave and suffer. +You must go as a lamb to the slaughter. + +FERROVIUS. +Aye, aye: that is right. Not as a lamb is slain by the butcher; but as +a butcher might let himself be slain by a (_looking at the Editor_) by +a silly ram whose head he could fetch off in one twist. + +_Before the Editor can retort, the Call Boy rushes up through the +passage; and the Captain comes from the Emperor’s box and descends the +steps._ + +THE CALL BOY. +In with you: into the arena. The stage is waiting. + +THE CAPTAIN. +The Emperor is waiting. (_To the Editor_) What are you dreaming of, +man? Send your men in at once. + +THE EDITOR. +Yes, Sir: it’s these Christians hanging back. + +FERROVIUS. +(_in a voice of thunder_) Liar! + +THE EDITOR. +(_not heeding him_) March. (_The gladiators told off to fight with the +Christians march down the passage_) Follow up there, you. + +THE CHRISTIAN MEN AND WOMEN. +(_as they part_) Be steadfast, brother. Farewell. Hold up the faith, +brother. Farewell. Go to glory, dearest. Farewell. Remember: we are +praying for you. Farewell. Be strong, brother. Farewell. Don’t forget +that the divine love and our love surround you. Farewell. Nothing can +hurt you: remember that, brother. Farewell. Eternal glory, dearest. +Farewell. + +THE EDITOR. +(_out of patience_) Shove them in, there. + +_The remaining gladiators and the Call Boy make a movement towards +them._ + +FERROVIUS. +(_interposing_) Touch them, dogs; and we die here, and cheat the +heathen of their spectacle. (_To his fellow Christians_) Brothers: the +great moment has come. That passage is your hill to Calvary. Mount it +bravely, but meekly; and remember! not a word of reproach, not a blow +nor a struggle. Go. (_They go out through the passage. He turns to +Lavinia_) Farewell. + +LAVINIA. +You forget: I must follow before you are cold. + +FERROVIUS. +It is true. Do not envy me because I pass before you to glory. (_He +goes through the passage_). + +THE EDITOR. +(_to the Call Boy_) Sickening work, this. Why can’t they all be thrown +to the lions? It’s not a man’s job. (_He throws himself moodily into +his chair_). + +_The remaining gladiators go back to their former places indifferently. +The Call Boy shrugs his shoulders and squats down at the entrance to +the passage, near the Editor._ + +_Lavinia and the Christian women sit down again, wrung with grief, some +weeping silently, some praying, some calm and steadfast. Androcles sits +down at Lavinia’s feet. The Captain stands on the stairs, watching her +curiously._ + +ANDROCLES. +I’m glad I haven’t to fight. That would really be an awful martyrdom. I +am lucky. + +LAVINIA. +(_looking at him with a pang of remorse_). Androcles: burn the incense: +you’ll be forgiven. Let my death atone for both. I feel as if I were +killing you. + +ANDROCLES. +Don’t think of me, sister. Think of yourself. That will keep your heart +up. + +_The Captain laughs sardonically._ + +LAVINIA. +(_startled: she had forgotten his presence_) Are you there, handsome +Captain? Have you come to see me die? + +THE CAPTAIN. +(_coming to her side_) I am on duty with the Emperor, Lavinia. + +LAVINIA. +Is it part of your duty to laugh at us? + +THE CAPTAIN. +No: that is part of my private pleasure. Your friend here is a +humorist. I laughed at his telling you to think of yourself to keep up +your heart. I say, think of yourself and burn the incense. + +LAVINIA. +He is not a humorist: he was right. You ought to know that, Captain: +you have been face to face with death. + +THE CAPTAIN. +Not with certain death, Lavinia. Only death in battle, which spares +more men than death in bed. What you are facing is certain death. You +have nothing left now but your faith in this craze of yours: this +Christianity. Are your Christian fairy stories any truer than our +stories about Jupiter and Diana, in which, I may tell you, I believe no +more than the Emperor does, or any educated man in Rome? + +LAVINIA. +Captain: all that seems nothing to me now. I’ll not say that death is a +terrible thing; but I will say that it is so real a thing that when it +comes close, all the imaginary things—all the stories, as you call +them—fade into mere dreams beside that inexorable reality. I know now +that I am not dying for stories or dreams. Did you hear of the dreadful +thing that happened here while we were waiting? + +THE CAPTAIN. +I heard that one of your fellows bolted, and ran right into the jaws of +the lion. I laughed. I still laugh. + +LAVINIA. +Then you don’t understand what that meant? + +THE CAPTAIN. +It meant that the lion had a cur for his breakfast. + +LAVINIA. +It meant more than that, Captain. It meant that a man cannot die for a +story and a dream. None of us believed the stories and the dreams more +devoutly than poor Spintho; but he could not face the great reality. +What he would have called my faith has been oozing away minute by +minute whilst I’ve been sitting here, with death coming nearer and +nearer, with reality becoming realler and realler, with stories and +dreams fading away into nothing. + +THE CAPTAIN. +Are you then going to die for nothing? + +LAVINIA. +Yes: that is the wonderful thing. It is since all the stories and +dreams have gone that I have now no doubt at all that I must die for +something greater than dreams or stories. + +THE CAPTAIN. +But for what? + +LAVINIA. +I don’t know. If it were for anything small enough to know, it would be +too small to die for. I think I’m going to die for God. Nothing else is +real enough to die for. + +THE CAPTAIN. +What is God? + +LAVINIA. +When we know that, Captain, we shall be gods ourselves. + +THE CAPTAIN. +Lavinia; come down to earth. Burn the incense and marry me. + +LAVINIA. +Handsome Captain: would you marry me if I hauled down the flag in the +day of battle and burnt the incense? Sons take after their mothers, you +know. Do you want your son to be a coward? + +THE CAPTAIN. +(_strongly moved_). By great Diana, I think I would strangle you if you +gave in now. + +LAVINIA. +(_putting her hand on the head of Androcles_) The hand of God is on us +three, Captain. + +THE CAPTAIN. +What nonsense it all is! And what a monstrous thing that you should die +for such nonsense, and that I should look on helplessly when my whole +soul cries out against it! Die then if you must; but at least I can cut +the Emperor’s throat and then my own when I see your blood. + +The Emperor throws open the door of his box angrily, and appears in +wrath on the threshold. The Editor, the Call Boy, and the gladiators +spring to their feet. + +THE EMPEROR. +The Christians will not fight; and your curs cannot get their blood up +to attack them. It’s all that fellow with the blazing eyes. Send for +the whip. (_The Call Boy rushes out on the east side for the whip_). If +that will not move them, bring the hot irons. The man is like a +mountain. (_He returns angrily into the box and slams the door_). + +_The Call Boy returns with a man in a hideous Etruscan mask, carrying a +whip. They both rush down the passage into the arena._ + +LAVINIA. +(_rising_) Oh, that is unworthy. Can they not kill him without +dishonoring him? + +ANDROCLES. +(_scrambling to his feet and running into the middle of the space +between the staircases_) It’s dreadful. Now I want to fight. I can’t +bear the sight of a whip. The only time I ever hit a man was when he +lashed an old horse with a whip. It was terrible: I danced on his face +when he was on the ground. He mustn’t strike Ferrovius: I’ll go into +the arena and kill him first. (_He makes a wild dash into the passage. +As he does so a great clamor is heard from the arena, ending in wild +applause. The gladiators listen and look inquiringly at one another_). + +THE EDITOR. +What’s up now? + +LAVINIA. +(_to the Captain_) What has happened, do you think? + +THE CAPTAIN. +What CAN happen? They are killing them, I suppose. + +ANDROCLES. +(_running in through the passage, screaming with horror and hiding his +eyes_)!!! + +LAVINIA. +Androcles, Androcles: what’s the matter? + +ANDROCLES. +Oh, don’t ask me, don’t ask me. Something too dreadful. Oh! (_He +crouches by her and hides his face in her robe, sobbing_). + +THE CALL BOY. (_rushing through from the passage as before_) Ropes and +hooks there! Ropes and hooks. + +THE EDITOR. +Well, need you excite yourself about it? (_Another burst of applause_). + +_Two slaves in Etruscan masks, with ropes and drag hooks, hurry in._ + +ONE OF THE SLAVES. How many dead? + +THE CALL BOY. +Six. (_The slave blows a whistle twice; and four more masked slaves +rush through into the arena with the same apparatus_) And the basket. +Bring the baskets. (_The slave whistles three times, and runs through +the passage with his companion_). + +THE CAPTAIN. +Who are the baskets for? + +THE CALL BOY. +For the whip. He’s in pieces. They’re all in pieces, more or less. +(_Lavinia hides her face_). + +(_Two more masked slaves come in with a basket and follow the others +into the arena, as the Call Boy turns to the gladiators and exclaims, +exhausted_) + +Boys, he’s killed the lot. + +THE EMPEROR. +(_again bursting from his box, this time in an ecstasy of delight_) +Where is he? Magnificent! He shall have a laurel crown. + +_Ferrovius, madly waving his bloodstained sword, rushes through the +passage in despair, followed by his co-religionists, and by the +menagerie keeper, who goes to the gladiators. The gladiators draw their +swords nervously._ + +FERROVIUS. +Lost! lost forever! I have betrayed my Master. Cut off this right hand: +it has offended. Ye have swords, my brethren: strike. + +LAVINIA. +No, no. What have you done, Ferrovius? + +FERROVIUS. +I know not; but there was blood behind my eyes; and there’s blood on my +sword. What does that mean? + +THE EMPEROR. +(_enthusiastically, on the landing outside his box_) What does it mean? +It means that you are the greatest man in Rome. It means that you shall +have a laurel crown of gold. Superb fighter, I could almost yield you +my throne. It is a record for my reign: I shall live in history. Once, +in Domitian’s time, a Gaul slew three men in the arena and gained his +freedom. But when before has one naked man slain six armed men of the +bravest and best? The persecution shall cease: if Christians can fight +like this, I shall have none but Christians to fight for me. (_To the +Gladiators_) You are ordered to become Christians, you there: do you +hear? + +RETIARIUS. It is all one to us, Caesar. Had I been there with my net, +the story would have been different. + +THE CAPTAIN. +(_suddenly seizing Lavinia by the wrist and dragging her up the steps +to the Emperor_) Caesar this woman is the sister of Ferrovius. If she +is thrown to the lions he will fret. He will lose weight; get out of +condition. + +THE EMPEROR. +The lions? Nonsense! (_To Lavinia_) Madam: I am proud to have the honor +of making your acquaintance. Your brother is the glory of Rome. + +LAVINIA. +But my friends here. Must they die? + +THE EMPEROR. +Die! Certainly not. There has never been the slightest idea of harming +them. Ladies and gentlemen: you are all free. Pray go into the front of +the house and enjoy the spectacle to which your brother has so +splendidly contributed. Captain: oblige me by conducting them to the +seats reserved for my personal friends. + +THE MENAGERIE KEEPER. +Caesar: I must have one Christian for the lion. The people have been +promised it; and they will tear the decorations to bits if they are +disappointed. + +THE EMPEROR. +True, true: we must have somebody for the new lion. + +FERROVIUS. +Throw me to him. Let the apostate perish. + +THE EMPEROR. +No, no: you would tear him in pieces, my friend; and we cannot afford +to throw away lions as if they were mere slaves. But we must have +somebody. This is really extremely awkward. + +THE MENAGERIE KEEPER. +Why not that little Greek chap? He’s not a Christian: he’s a sorcerer. + +THE EMPEROR. +The very thing: he will do very well. + +THE CALL BOY. (_issuing from the passage_) Number twelve. The Christian +for the new lion. + +ANDROCLES. +(_rising, and pulling himself sadly together_) Well, it was to be, +after all. + +LAVINIA. +I’ll go in his place, Caesar. Ask the Captain whether they do not like +best to see a woman torn to pieces. He told me so yesterday. + +THE EMPEROR. +There is something in that: there is certainly something in that—if +only I could feel sure that your brother would not fret. + +ANDROCLES. +No: I should never have another happy hour. No: on the faith of a +Christian and the honor of a tailor, I accept the lot that has fallen +on me. If my wife turns up, give her my love and say that my wish was +that she should be happy with her next, poor fellow! Caesar: go to your +box and see how a tailor can die. Make way for number twelve there. +(_He marches out along the passage_). + +_The vast audience in the amphitheatre now sees the Emperor re-enter +his box and take his place as Androcles, desperately frightened, but +still marching with piteous devotion, emerges from the other end of the +passage, and finds himself at the focus of thousands of eager eyes. The +lion’s cage, with a heavy portcullis grating, is on his left. The +Emperor gives a signal. A gong sounds. Androcles shivers at the sound; +then falls on his knees and prays._ + +_The grating rises with a clash. The lion bounds into the arena. He +rushes round frisking in his freedom. He sees Androcles. He stops; +rises stiffly by straightening his legs; stretches out his nose forward +and his tail in a horizontal line behind, like a pointer, and utters an +appalling roar. Androcles crouches and hides his face in his hands. The +lion gathers himself for a spring, swishing his tail to and fro through +the dust in an ecstasy of anticipation. Androcles throws up his hands +in supplication to heaven. The lion checks at the sight of Androcles’s +face. He then steals towards him; smells him; arches his back; purrs +like a motor car; finally rubs himself against Androcles, knocking him +over. Androcles, supporting himself on his wrist, looks affrightedly at +the lion. The lion limps on three paws, holding up the other as if it +was wounded. A flash of recognition lights up the face of Androcles. He +flaps his hand as if it had a thorn in it, and pretends to pull the +thorn out and to hurt himself. The lion nods repeatedly. Androcles +holds out his hands to the lion, who gives him both paws, which he +shakes with enthusiasm. They embrace rapturously, finally waltz round +the arena amid a sudden burst of deafening applause, and out through +the passage, the Emperor watching them in breathless astonishment until +they disappear, when he rushes from his box and descends the steps in +frantic excitement._ + +THE EMPEROR. +My friends, an incredible! an amazing thing! has happened. I can no +longer doubt the truth of Christianity. (_The Christians press to him +joyfully_) This Christian sorcerer—(_with a yell, he breaks off as he +sees Androcles and the lion emerge from the passage, waltzing. He bolts +wildly up the steps into his box, and slams the door. All, Christians +and gladiators’ alike, fly for their lives, the gladiators bolting into +the arena, the others in all directions. The place is emptied with +magical suddenness_). + +ANDROCLES. +(_naively_) Now I wonder why they all run away from us like that. (_The +lion combining a series of yawns, purrs, and roars, achieves something +very like a laugh_). + +THE EMPEROR. +(_standing on a chair inside his box and looking over the wall_) +Sorcerer: I command you to put that lion to death instantly. It is +guilty of high treason. Your conduct is most disgra— (_the lion charges +at him up the stairs_) help! (_He disappears. The lion rears against +the box; looks over the partition at him, and roars. The Emperor darts +out through the door and down to Androcles, pursued by the lion._) + +ANDROCLES. +Don’t run away, sir: he can’t help springing if you run. (_He seizes +the Emperor and gets between him and the lion, who stops at once_). +Don’t be afraid of him. + +THE EMPEROR. +I am NOT afraid of him. (_The lion crouches, growling. The Emperor +clutches Androcles_) Keep between us. + +ANDROCLES. +Never be afraid of animals, your Worship: that’s the great secret. +He’ll be as gentle as a lamb when he knows that you are his friend. +Stand quite still; and smile; and let him smell you all over just to +reassure him; for, you see, he’s afraid of you; and he must examine you +thoroughly before he gives you his confidence. (_To the lion_) Come +now, Tommy; and speak nicely to the Emperor, the great, good Emperor +who has power to have all our heads cut off if we don’t behave very, +VERY respectfully to him. + +_The lion utters a fearful roar. The Emperor dashes madly up the steps, +across the landing, and down again on the other side, with the lion in +hot pursuit. Androcles rushes after the lion; overtakes him as he is +descending; and throws himself on his back, trying to use his toes as a +brake. Before he can stop him the lion gets hold of the trailing end of +the Emperor’s robe._ + +ANDROCLES. +Oh bad wicked Tommy, to chase the Emperor like that! Let go the +Emperor’s robe at once, sir: where’s your manners? (_The lion growls +and worries the robe_). Don’t pull it away from him, your worship. He’s +only playing. Now I shall be really angry with you, Tommy, if you don’t +let go. (_The lion growls again_) I’ll tell you what it is, sir: he +thinks you and I are not friends. + +THE EMPEROR. +(_trying to undo the clasp of his brooch_) Friends! You infernal +scoundrel (_the lion growls_) don’t let him go. Curse this brooch! I +can’t get it loose. + +ANDROCLES. +We mustn’t let him lash himself into a rage. You must show him that you +are my particular friend—if you will have the condescension. (_He +seizes the Emperor’s hands, and shakes them cordially_), Look, Tommy: +the nice Emperor is the dearest friend Andy Wandy has in the whole +world: he loves him like a brother. + +THE EMPEROR. +You little brute, you damned filthy little dog of a Greek tailor: I’ll +have you burnt alive for daring to touch the divine person of the +Emperor. (_The lion roars_). + +ANDROCLES. +Oh don’t talk like that, sir. He understands every word you say: all +animals do: they take it from the tone of your voice. (_The lion growls +and lashes his tail_). I think he’s going to spring at your worship. If +you wouldn’t mind saying something affectionate. (_The lion roars_). + +THE EMPEROR. +(_shaking Androcles’ hands frantically_) My dearest Mr. Androcles, my +sweetest friend, my long lost brother, come to my arms. (_He embraces +Androcles_). Oh, what an abominable smell of garlic! + +_The lion lets go the robe and rolls over on his back, clasping his +forepaws over one another coquettishly above his nose._ + +ANDROCLES. +There! You see, your worship, a child might play with him now. See! +(_He tickles the lion’s belly. The lion wriggles ecstatically_). Come +and pet him. + +THE EMPEROR. +I must conquer these unkingly terrors. Mind you don’t go away from him, +though. (_He pats the lion’s chest_). + +ANDROCLES. +Oh, sir, how few men would have the courage to do that— + +THE EMPEROR. +Yes: it takes a bit of nerve. Let us invite the Court in and frighten +them. Is he safe, do you think? + +ANDROCLES. +Quite safe now, sir. + +THE EMPEROR. +(_majestically_) What ho, there! All who are within hearing, return +without fear. Caesar has tamed the lion. (_All the fugitives steal +cautiously in. The menagerie keeper comes from the passage with other +keepers armed with iron bars and tridents_). Take those things away. I +have subdued the beast. (_He places his foot on it_). + +FERROVIUS. +(_timidly approaching the Emperor and looking down with awe on the +lion_) It is strange that I, who fear no man, should fear a lion. + +THE CAPTAIN. +Every man fears something, Ferrovius. + +THE EMPEROR. +How about the Pretorian Guard now? + +FERROVIUS. +In my youth I worshipped Mars, the God of War. I turned from him to +serve the Christian god; but today the Christian god forsook me; and +Mars overcame me and took back his own. The Christian god is not yet. +He will come when Mars and I are dust; but meanwhile I must serve the +gods that are, not the God that will be. Until then I accept service in +the Guard, Caesar. + +THE EMPEROR. +Very wisely said. All really sensible men agree that the prudent course +is to be neither bigoted in our attachment to the old nor rash and +unpractical in keeping an open mind for the new, but to make the best +of both dispensations. + +THE CAPTAIN. +What do you say, Lavinia? Will you too be prudent? + +LAVINIA. +(_on the stair_) No: I’ll strive for the coming of the God who is not +yet. + +THE CAPTAIN. +May I come and argue with you occasionally? + +LAVINIA. +Yes, handsome Captain: you may. (_He kisses her hands_). + +THE EMPEROR. +And now, my friends, though I do not, as you see, fear this lion, yet +the strain of his presence is considerable; for none of us can feel +quite sure what he will do next. + +THE MENAGERIE KEEPER. +Caesar: give us this Greek sorcerer to be a slave in the menagerie. He +has a way with the beasts. + +ANDROCLES. +(_distressed_). Not if they are in cages. They should not be kept in +cages. They must all be let out. + +THE EMPEROR. +I give this sorcerer to be a slave to the first man who lays hands on +him. (_The menagerie keepers and the gladiators rush for Androcles. The +lion starts up and faces them. They surge back_). You see how +magnanimous we Romans are, Androcles. We suffer you to go in peace. + +ANDROCLES. +I thank your worship. I thank you all, ladies and gentlemen. Come, +Tommy. Whilst we stand together, no cage for you: no slavery for me. +(_He goes out with the lion, everybody crowding away to give him as +wide a berth as possible_). + + +In this play I have represented one of the Roman persecutions of the +early Christians, not as the conflict of a false theology with a true, +but as what all such persecutions essentially are: an attempt to +suppress a propaganda that seemed to threaten the interests involved in +the established law and order, organized and maintained in the name of +religion and justice by politicians who are pure opportunist +Have-and-Holders. People who are shown by their inner light the +possibility of a better world based on the demand of the spirit for a +nobler and more abundant life, not for themselves at the expense of +others, but for everybody, are naturally dreaded and therefore hated by +the Have-and-Holders, who keep always in reserve two sure weapons +against them. The first is a persecution effected by the provocation, +organization, and arming of that herd instinct which makes men abhor +all departures from custom, and, by the most cruel punishments and the +wildest calumnies, force eccentric people to behave and profess exactly +as other people do. The second is by leading the herd to war, which +immediately and infallibly makes them forget everything, even their +most cherished and hardwon public liberties and private interests, in +the irresistible surge of their pugnacity and the tense pre-occupation +of their terror. + +There is no reason to believe that there was anything more in the Roman +persecutions than this. The attitude of the Roman Emperor and the +officers of his staff towards the opinions at issue were much the same +as those of a modern British Home Secretary towards members of the +lower middle classes when some pious policeman charges them with Bad +Taste, technically called blasphemy: Bad Taste being a violation of +Good Taste, which in such matters practically means Hypocrisy. The Home +Secretary and the judges who try the case are usually far more +sceptical and blasphemous than the poor men whom they persecute; and +their professions of horror at the blunt utterance of their own +opinions are revolting to those behind the scenes who have any genuine +religious sensibility; but the thing is done because the governing +classes, provided only the law against blasphemy is not applied to +themselves, strongly approve of such persecution because it enables +them to represent their own privileges as part of the religion of the +country. + +Therefore my martyrs are the martyrs of all time, and my persecutors +the persecutors of all time. My Emperor, who has no sense of the value +of common people’s lives, and amuses himself with killing as carelessly +as with sparing, is the sort of monster you can make of any +silly-clever gentleman by idolizing him. We are still so easily imposed +on by such idols that one of the leading pastors of the Free Churches +in London denounced my play on the ground that my persecuting Emperor +is a very fine fellow, and the persecuted Christians ridiculous. From +which I conclude that a popular pulpit may be as perilous to a man’s +soul as an imperial throne. + +All my articulate Christians, the reader will notice, have different +enthusiasms, which they accept as the same religion only because it +involves them in a common opposition to the official religion and +consequently in a common doom. Androcles is a humanitarian naturalist, +whose views surprise everybody. Lavinia, a clever and fearless +freethinker, shocks the Pauline Ferrovius, who is comparatively stupid +and conscience ridden. Spintho, the blackguardly debauchee, is +presented as one of the typical Christians of that period on the +authority of St. Augustine, who seems to have come to the conclusion at +one period of his development that most Christians were what we call +wrong uns. No doubt he was to some extent right: I have had occasion +often to point out that revolutionary movements attract those who are +not good enough for established institutions as well as those who are +too good for them. + +But the most striking aspect of the play at this moment is the terrible +topicality given it by the war. We were at peace when I pointed out, by +the mouth of Ferrovius, the path of an honest man who finds out, when +the trumpet sounds, that he cannot follow Jesus. Many years earlier, in +The Devil’s Disciple, I touched the same theme even more definitely, +and showed the minister throwing off his black coat for ever when he +discovered, amid the thunder of the captains and the shouting, that he +was a born fighter. Great numbers of our clergy have found themselves +of late in the position of Ferrovius and Anthony Anderson. They have +discovered that they hate not only their enemies but everyone who does +not share their hatred, and that they want to fight and to force other +people to fight. They have turned their churches into recruiting +stations and their vestries into munition workshops. But it has never +occurred to them to take off their black coats and say quite simply, “I +find in the hour of trial that the Sermon on the Mount is tosh, and +that I am not a Christian. I apologize for all the unpatriotic nonsense +I have been preaching all these years. Have the goodness to give me a +revolver and a commission in a regiment which has for its chaplain a +priest of the god Mars: my God.” Not a bit of it. They have stuck to +their livings and served Mars in the name of Christ, to the scandal of +all religious mankind. When the Archbishop of York behaved like a +gentleman and the Head Master of Eton preached a Christian sermon, and +were reviled by the rabble, the Martian parsons encouraged the rabble. +For this they made no apologies or excuses, good or bad. They simple +indulged their passions, just as they had always indulged their class +prejudices and commercial interests, without troubling themselves for a +moment as to whether they were Christians or not. They did not protest +even when a body calling itself the Anti-German League (_not having +noticed, apparently, that it had been anticipated by the British +Empire, the French Republic, and the Kingdoms of Italy, Japan, and +Serbia_) actually succeeded in closing a church at Forest Hill in which +God was worshipped in the German language. One would have supposed that +this grotesque outrage on the commonest decencies of religion would +have provoked a remonstrance from even the worldliest bench of bishops. +But no: apparently it seemed to the bishops as natural that the House +of God should be looted when He allowed German to be spoken in it as +that a baker’s shop with a German name over the door should be +pillaged. Their verdict was, in effect, “Serve God right, for creating +the Germans!” The incident would have been impossible in a country +where the Church was as powerful as the Church of England, had it had +at the same time a spark of catholic as distinguished from tribal +religion in it. As it is, the thing occurred; and as far as I have +observed, the only people who gasped were the Freethinkers. Thus we see +that even among men who make a profession of religion the great +majority are as Martian as the majority of their congregations. The +average clergyman is an official who makes his living by christening +babies, marrying adults, conducting a ritual, and making the best he +can (_when he has any conscience about it_) of a certain routine of +school superintendence, district visiting, and organization of +almsgiving, which does not necessarily touch Christianity at any point +except the point of the tongue. The exceptional or religious clergyman +may be an ardent Pauline salvationist, in which case his more +cultivated parishioners dislike him, and say that he ought to have +joined the Methodists. Or he may be an artist expressing religious +emotion without intellectual definition by means of poetry, music, +vestments and architecture, also producing religious ecstacy by +physical expedients, such as fasts and vigils, in which case he is +denounced as a Ritualist. Or he may be either a Unitarian Deist like +Voltaire or Tom Paine, or the more modern sort of Anglican Theosophist +to whom the Holy Ghost is the Elan Vital of Bergson, and the Father and +Son are an expression of the fact that our functions and aspects are +manifold, and that we are all sons and all either potential or actual +parents, in which case he is strongly suspected by the straiter +Salvationists of being little better than an Atheist. All these +varieties, you see, excite remark. They may be very popular with their +congregations; but they are regarded by the average man as the freaks +of the Church. The Church, like the society of which it is an organ, is +balanced and steadied by the great central Philistine mass above whom +theology looms as a highly spoken of and doubtless most important +thing, like Greek Tragedy, or classical music, or the higher +mathematics, but who are very glad when church is over and they can go +home to lunch or dinner, having in fact, for all practical purposes, no +reasoned convictions at all, and being equally ready to persecute a +poor Freethinker for saying that St. James was not infallible, and to +send one of the Peculiar People to prison for being so very peculiar as +to take St. James seriously. + +In short, a Christian martyr was thrown to the lions not because he was +a Christian, but because he was a crank: that is, an unusual sort of +person. And multitudes of people, quite as civilized and amiable as we, +crowded to see the lions eat him just as they now crowd the lion-house +in the Zoo at feeding-time, not because they really cared two-pence +about Diana or Christ, or could have given you any intelligent or +correct account of the things Diana and Christ stood against one +another for, but simply because they wanted to see a curious and +exciting spectacle. You, dear reader, have probably run to see a fire; +and if somebody came in now and told you that a lion was chasing a man +down the street you would rush to the window. And if anyone were to say +that you were as cruel as the people who let the lion loose on the man, +you would be justly indignant. Now that we may no longer see a man +hanged, we assemble outside the jail to see the black flag run up. That +is our duller method of enjoying ourselves in the old Roman spirit. And +if the Government decided to throw persons of unpopular or eccentric +views to the lions in the Albert Hall or the Earl’s Court stadium +tomorrow, can you doubt that all the seats would be crammed, mostly by +people who could not give you the most superficial account of the views +in question. Much less unlikely things have happened. It is true that +if such a revival does take place soon, the martyrs will not be members +of heretical religious sects: they will be Peculiars, +Anti-Vivisectionists, Flat-Earth men, scoffers at the laboratories, or +infidels who refuse to kneel down when a procession of doctors goes by. +But the lions will hurt them just as much, and the spectators will +enjoy themselves just as much, as the Roman lions and spectators used +to do. + +It was currently reported in the Berlin newspapers that when Androcles +was first performed in Berlin, the Crown Prince rose and left the +house, unable to endure the (_I hope_) very clear and fair exposition +of autocratic Imperialism given by the Roman captain to his Christian +prisoners. No English Imperialist was intelligent and earnest enough to +do the same in London. If the report is correct, I confirm the logic of +the Crown Prince, and am glad to find myself so well understood. But I +can assure him that the Empire which served for my model when I wrote +Androcles was, as he is now finding to his cost, much nearer my home +than the German one. + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ANDROCLES AND THE LION *** + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will +be renamed. + +Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright +law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, +so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the +United States without permission and without paying copyright +royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part +of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm +concept and trademark. 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