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@@ -1,36 +1,4 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Just Irish, by Charles Battell Loomis - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: Just Irish - -Author: Charles Battell Loomis - -Release Date: August 9, 2012 [EBook #40465] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JUST IRISH *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Bergquist, Matthew Wheaton and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - - - - - +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 40465 *** JUST IRISH @@ -2052,7 +2020,7 @@ since I came to Ireland, and unlimited milk. There was no butter, as it was a fast day. This I regretted keenly. Talk went on among us all until a bearded monk in white came in and -began to read passages from Thomas a Kempis. His enunciation was +began to read passages from Thomas à Kempis. His enunciation was peculiarly pure, and I doubt not that he was a gentleman born. It was a pleasure to hear such English. While he read we were all silent. @@ -2758,7 +2726,7 @@ showed the Queen in point lace as I had seen her." Afterward I talked to the gentleman for whom this ancient woman kept house, and he said there was no end to the queer things she had seen. -He told me that once she saw in "the heavens" a funeral cortege +He told me that once she saw in "the heavens" a funeral cortége issuing from a smallish house, with big black horses, plumed and draped, and drawing a hearse, and in it either the pope or the queen. @@ -3193,361 +3161,4 @@ Archaic and inconsistent spelling and punctuation retained. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: Just Irish - -Author: Charles Battell Loomis - -Release Date: August 9, 2012 [EBook #40465] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JUST IRISH *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Bergquist, Matthew Wheaton and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - - - - - - - JUST IRISH - - [Illustration: LISMORE CASTLE] - - - - - JUST IRISH - - CHARLES BATTELL LOOMIS - - - _Author of "Cheerful Americans," "A Bath in an English Tub," "A - Holiday Touch," "The Knack of It," "Little Maude's Mamma," Etc., - Etc.,_ - - _With many illustrations from photographs by the Author._ - - BOSTON - RICHARD G. BADGER - THE GORHAM PRESS - 1911 - - - _Copyright 1909 and 1910 by Richard G. Badger_ - _All rights reserved_ - - _The Gorham Press, Boston_ - - - Dedicated to my first friends in Ireland, the Todds of 'Derry - - - - -PREFACE - - -The first edition of this book was printed before I had thought to -write a preface. - -Now, my readers may not care for a preface, but as a writer I do not -feel that a book is completed until the author has said a word or two. - -You don't hand a man a glass of wine or even an innocuous apple in -silence: you say, "Here's looking at you," or, "Have an apple?" and -the recipient says, "Thanks, I don't care if I do," or, "Thanks, I -don't eat apples." In either case you have done what you expected of -yourself, and that, let me tell you, is no small satisfaction. - -So now that my publisher has thought it worth while to get out an -illustrated edition of this unpretentious record of pleasant (though -rainy) days in Ireland, it is my pleasure to say to all who may be -about to pick it up, "Don't be afraid of it--it won't hurt you. It was -written by a Protestant, but while he was in Ireland his only thought -was that God was good to give him such a pleasant time and to make -people so well disposed toward him. It was written by a man without a -drop of Irish blood in his veins (as far as he knows), but he felt -that he was among his brothers in race, because their ideas so chimed -in with his, and every one made him so comfortable." - -This is a good opportunity to thank those of Irish birth or extraction -who in their papers and magazines said such nice things about the -book. - -The pictures, all snap shots, were taken by me, and even the Irish -atmosphere was friendly to my purpose, and gave me considerable -success. A pleasanter five weeks of travel I never had, and if you who -read this have never visited Ireland, don't get too old before doing -so. And if you do visit it give yourself up to it, and you'll have a -good time. - -Here's the book--like it if you can, drop it if you don't. Never waste -time over a book that is not meant for you. - - CHARLES BATTELL LOOMIS. - - - - - - ILLUSTRATIONS - - - Lismore Castle - A Real Irish Bull - Government Cottage, Rent a Shilling a Week - Horses in County Kerry - To the Men of '98 - Prosperity in Limerick - Mackerel Seller, Bundoran, Donegal - In Donegal - The Bungalow of Seumas McManus - A Sky Line at Bundoran - The Rocks at Bundoran on the West Coast - Geese in Galway - Dublin Bay - A Dublin Ice Cart - O'Connell's Monument, Dublin - On the Road to Lismore, in a Rain Storm - Milk Wagon, Mallow - Green Coat Hospital, Cork - A Bit of Killarney - Street in Youghal - Thatched Cottage, Wicklow - Wicklow Peasants - Lost in his Lunch, Mallow, County Kerry - A Side Street, Wexford - Picturesque Galway - A String of Fishermen, Galway - Waiting for the Circus, Galway - Gaelic Sign, Donegal - Gone to America - - - - - TABLE OF CONTENTS - - - _I. A Taste of Irish Hospitality_ - _II. Around about Lough Swilly_ - _III. A Joyful Day in Donegal_ - _IV. The Dull Gray Skies of Ireland_ - _V. The Joys of Third-Class Travel_ - _VI. A Few Irish Stories_ - _VII. Snapping and Tipping_ - _VIII. Random Remarks on Things Corkonian_ - _IX. A Visit to Mount Mellaray_ - _X. A Dinner I Didn't Have_ - _XI. What Ireland Wants_ - _XII. A Hunt for Irish Fairies_ - _XIII. In Galway with a Camera_ - _XIV. The New Life in Ireland_ - - - - -JUST IRISH - - - - -CHAPTER I - -_A Taste of Irish Hospitality_ - - -"Irish hospitality." I have often heard the term used, but I did not -suppose that I should get such convincing evidence of it within twelve -hours of my arrival at this northern port. - -This is to be a straightforward relation of what happened to some half -dozen Americans, strangers to each other, a week ago, and strangers to -all Ireland upon arrival. - -In details it is somewhat unusual, but in spirit I am sure it is -characteristic of what might have befallen good Americans in any one -of the four provinces. - -To be dumped into the tender that came down the Foyle to meet the -Caledonia at Moville at the chilly hour of two in the morning seemed -at the time a hardship. We had wanted to see the green hills of old -Ireland and here were blackness and bleakness and crowded humanity. - -But the loading process was long drawn out, and when at last we began -our ascent of the Foyle there were indubitable symptoms of morning in -the eastern skies, and we saw that our entrance into the tender was -like the entrance of early ones into a theater before the lights are -turned up. After a while the curtain is lifted and the scenic glories -are revealed to eyes that have developed a proper amount of eagerness -and receptivity. - -With the first steps of day a young Irishman returning to his native -land mounted a seat and recited an apostrophe, "The top of the mornin' -to ye," and then a mist lifting suddenly, Ireland, dewily green and -soft and fair, lay revealed before our appreciative eyes. - -[Illustration: A REAL IRISH BULL] - -The sun, when he really began his morning brushwork, painted the trees -and grasses in more vivid greens, but there was a suggestiveness of -early spring in the first soft tones that was fully valued by eyes -that had been used to leaden skies for more than half the days of the -voyage. - -But I am no poet to paint landscapes on paper, so we will consider -ourselves landed at Londonderry and furnished with a few hours of -necessary sleep, and anxious to begin our adventures. - -Our party consisted of a half dozen whose itineraries were to run in -parallels for a time. There were four ladies and two of us were men. -One of the men had to come to Ireland on business, and he found he had -awaiting him an invitation to lunch that day with a country gentleman -with whom he had corresponded on business matters. - -As the one least strange to the country this American had tendered his -good offices, American fashion, to the ladies who would be traveling -without male companions after we left them, and so he dispatched a -messenger with a note to the effect that he must regretfully decline, -and stating his reasons for so doing. - -While we were lunching at the hotel a return note came to him, this -time from the good man's wife, cordially asking that we all come and -have afternoon tea. - -Here was a chance to see an Irish household that was hailed with -delight by all, a delight that was not unappreciative of the warmth of -the invitation. - -We would go to the pleasant country house, but--our trunks had not -come. Would our traveler's togs worthily represent our country? - -But our friend said, "Don't let clothes stand between us and this -thing. I'm sure this lady will be glad to welcome us as Americans, and -for my part I never reflect credit on my tailor, and people never -clamor for his address when they see me. As for you ladies, I'd think -any tea of mine honored by such fetching gowns, if that's the proper -term. I'm going to write her that we're coming just as we are." - -So he sent another messenger out into the country--telephones seem as -scarce as snakes here--saying, well, he used a good assortment of -words and arranged them worthily. - -The two young girls of the party clamored for jaunting cars, and so -two were ordered for four o'clock. One of them had red cushions and -was as glittering in its glass and gold as a circus wagon. - -My friend, on ordering this one, said to the "jarvey" (by the way, -they call them drivers here in this part of Ireland, but jarvey has -always seemed so delightfully Irish that I prefer to stick to it), -"Get another car as nice as this." - -"Sure, there's none as nice as this," said he, pride forcing the -confession, "but I'll get a good one." - -It was a beautiful day except for the extreme heat--and yet they say -it always rains in Ireland. I felt that it must be exceptional, and -said to the waiter at lunch, "I suppose it's unusual to have such -weather as this?" "Sure, every day is like this," said he with -patriotic mendacity. - -When the jaunty jaunting cars drew up a little before four o'clock -there were portentous black clouds in the sky, but the jarvies assured -us that they were there more for looks than anything else--that there -might be a matter of a spit or two, but that we'd have a fine -afternoon. - -So we mounted the sides of the cars, and holding on to the polished -rails, as we had been told was the proper fashion, we set out bravely -on our way, little wotting what a wetting all Ireland was soon to -have. - -In a half hour or so we would be walking over Irish lawns and -admiring Irish laces as they decked the forms of gaily clad femininity -gathered for sociability and tea alongside the rhododendrons and -fuchsia bushes. - -[Illustration: GOVERNMENT COTTAGE, RENT A SHILLING A WEEK] - -A few drops of rain fell, but the wind was south and we seemed to be -going east. - -"Isn't this gay?" called the young girls, as we jiggled along in -holiday mood. Suddenly a silver bolt of jagged lightning cleft the sky -to the south, and almost instantaneously a peal of thunder that -sounded as if it had been born and bred on Connecticut hills, so loud -was it, told us that the people living to the south of us were going -to get wet. - -And then we came to a bend in the road and turned south. - -"Ah, 'twill be nothin'," said our driver, in answer to a question. - -To give up what one has undertaken is a poor way of playing a game and -we were all for going on. "It's not so far," said the jarvey, but -this was a sort of truth that depended on what he was comparing the -distance with. It was not so far as Dublin, for instance, but 'twas -far enough as the event proved. - -We put on our cravenettes, hoisted what umbrellas we had, and gave the -blankets an extra tucking in and after that--the deluge! - -Bang, kerrassh! A bolt from heaven followed by a bolt from each horse. -A sort of echo as it were. The drivers reined them in and ours started -to seek shelter under a tree. - -As I sometimes read the newspapers when at home I told our driver to -keep in the open. - -The lightning now became more and more frequent and was so close that -we let go our hold on the brass rails, preferring to pitch out rather -than act as conductor on a jaunting car--such things as conductors -being unknown anyway. - -It was terrifying, and to add to my discomfort I found I was sitting -in a pool of water, the rain having an Irish insinuatingness about it -that was irresistible. And now, just to show us what could be gotten -up on short notice for American visitors, it began to hail and the -wind blew it in long, white, slanting, winter-like lines across the -air and into our faces, and the roads having become little brooks, the -horses had to be urged to the driver's utmost of threats and cajolery. - -I thought of that waiter who had told me it was always sunny in -Ireland and I wished him out in the pelting storm. - -"I've not seen the like in twinty yairs, sirr," said the driver. - -To go back was to get the storm in fuller fury, for the wind had -shifted. To go ahead was to arrive like drowned rats, but we were -anxious for shelter, and still the driver said, "It's not far," and so -we went on. I have been in many places in all sorts of weathers, but -it is years since I've been out in such a storm. The hailstones were -not as large as hen's eggs, but they were as large as French peas. - -There was not a dry stitch on us and the red of the gay cushion went -through to my skin. My cravenette treacherously refused to let the -water depart from me, but shed it on the wrong side--which may be an -Irish bull, for all I know. - -"Here we are now, sirr," said our driver, as he turned in at a -beautiful driveway. A winding drive of a minute or two and we arrived -like wet hens--all of us--at the house of these people who had never -heard of us until that day. - -But the warmth of the welcome from our host and hostess who came out -to the door to greet us made us not only glad we had come, but even -glad we were wet. - -Had there been the least stiffness we should have wished the storm far -enough (and indeed all Ireland did wish it, for it turned out to be -the most tremendous thunder and hailstorm in a score or more of -years), but our new found friends frankly laughed with us at our funny -appearance, and we were hurried off to various rooms to change our -clothes. - -Our protestations of regret at putting them to trouble were met with -protestations of delight at being able to serve us, and as my host -brought me some union garments that had been made for a man of three -times my size and I wrapped them round and round me until they were -giddy, I was glad I had not turned back to spend a damp afternoon in a -lonely hotel. - -The rest of the party fared well in getting clothes that became them, -but when I was fully dressed I looked like Francis Wilson in Erminie. -As I turned up my sleeves and triple turned up my trousers I knew I -would be good for a laugh in any theater in Christendom. - -There was but one thing to do--go down and look unconscious of my -misfit appearance. It would never do to stay in my room through a -mistaken sense of personal dignity. - -So I went down, and meeting host and hostess and my compatriots, a -laugh went up that would have broken the ice in a Pittsburgh -millionaire's drawing room. - -And then we were taken to the tearoom and in a few minutes I forgot -that I was no longer the glass of fashion and the mold of form, for I -was made to feel that I was just a friend who had dropped in (or, -perhaps, dripped in would be better), and when a couple of hours later -we drove home through the soft Irish verdure, doubly green after its -rough but invigorating bath, we all felt that Irish hospitality was no -mere traveler's tale, but a thing that had intensity and not a little -emotion in it. - -[Illustration: HORSES IN COUNTY KERRY] - - - - -CHAPTER II - -_Around about Lough Swilly_ - - -To a tired New Yorker who has sixteen days at his disposal I would -recommend a day on Lough Swilly at Rathmullan. It is separated from -the island of Manhattan by little else than the Atlantic, and every -one knows that a sea voyage is good for a wearied man. - -Take a boat for Londonderry from the foot of Twenty-fourth Street, and -then for the mere cost of a shilling (if you travel third class, and -that is the way to fall in with characters) you will be railroaded and -ferried to Rathmullan, where you'll find as clean an inn and as -faithful service as heart could wish. And such scenery! - -And every one will be glad to see you, because you are from America. -("Welcome from the other side," and a hearty hand grip from leathery -hands.) - -Of course a day is a short time in which to get the full benefit of -the peaceful atmosphere of the place and perhaps you will stay on as -we are doing for several days. - -Then you can return for a shilling to 'Derry, take Saturday's steamer -to the foot of Twenty-fourth Street, New York, and you'll soon be -walking the streets of the metropolis filled with pleasant memories of -one of nature's beauty spots. - -Lough Swilly is an arm of the Atlantic and its waters are salt. At -Rathmullan the lough is surrounded by lofty green hills, mostly -treeless, gently sloping to the water, and for the better part of the -time softened in tone by an Indian summer haze indescribably -beautiful. - -We came down according to the program I have outlined, and traveled -third class for the reason I have stated, but as the only other -occupant of the coach was a lone "widow woman" we were unable to get -any characteristic conversation. In fact, up here in Donegal, as far -as I have observed, the natives talk more like the Scotch than they do -like the Irish made known to us by certain actors. When I get south I -expect to hear rich brogues, but here the burr is Scotch. - -We were ferried from Fahan in a side-wheel steamer, and soon the -painfully neat-looking white houses of Rathmullan lay before us and we -disembarked, and carrying our own grips unmolested (a sure sign of an -unusual place) we made our way up the stone pier between restless -steers who were waiting for us to get out of the way so that they -could go to the slaughter house. There had been a cattle fair that day -in Rathmullan. - -We knew little of the town save what Stephen Gwynn says of it in his -delightful "Highways and Byways in Donegal and Antrim." - -There is a most picturesque and ivy-grown ruin of an abbey dating -back to the fifteenth century. It is much more beautiful than -Kenilworth. - -We bent our steps to the plain-looking little inn, and entering the -taproom we asked for lodgings for the night. The inn is kept by a -widow who still bears trace of a beauty that must have been -transcendent in her girlhood. As it is, she could serve as a model to -some artist for an allegorical painting representing "Sorrowful -Ireland"; the arched eyebrows, the melting eyes, the long, classic -nose, and the grieving mouth--very Irish and very lovely. - -We have seen many pretty women here in Ireland, but in her day this -inn keeper must have been the peer of any. - -Her husband kept the inn formerly, but as an Irishman told me, "He -died suddenly. Throuble with the head," said he, tapping his own. -"'Twas heart disease, I think." This is the first Irish bull I've -heard. - -[Illustration: TO THE MEN OF - '98 OLIVER SHEPHARD, SCULPTOR] - -My companion thought he would like a room fronting Lough Swilly and so -did I. - -The maid who had taken charge of us said that that wouldn't be -possible, as the only available rooms having such an outlook had been -engaged by wire. - -"But," said my insistent friend, who is the type of American who gets -what he wants by smiles if possible, but who certainly gets it, "they -won't be here to-day, will they?" - -"No, not to-day; to-morrow." - -"Well, let us have the rooms for to-night." - -"But, will ye give them up when they come?" said she, still -hesitating. - -"Surely. Depend upon it. Count on us to vamoose just as soon as you -give the word." - -"But these people come every year," said she tenaciously. - -"I don't wonder at it," said O'Donnell. (My friend is of Irish -descent.) "I would, too, if I didn't live so far away. Don't you -worry, honey. We'll just go out like little lambs as soon as you give -the word." - -There was something delightfully quaint in the notion that because -people were coming to the rooms to-morrow night we ought not to have -them to-night--the girl was perfectly sincere. She evidently knew the -lure of sunrise on the mountains and the lake and feared her ability -to oust us once we were ensconced. - -"We're passing on to-morrow and will be _just_ as _careful_ of the -rooms," said O'Donnell in the tone of one who talks to a child, and -the pretty maid succumbed, and our valises were deposited in the -coveted rooms. - -But just as she left us she said once more, "You'll go when they come, -won't you?" - -"We sure will," said O'Donnell, with a solemnity that carried -conviction with it. "Now about dinner," said he; "we'd like dinner at -six thirty. It's now four." - -"We haven't begun to serve dinners at night yet," said the maid. The -summer season had evidently not begun. - -"Oh, that's too bad," said O'Donnell, "but you'll make an exception in -our case now, won't you?" - -She thought a minute, and O'Donnell smiled on her. - -I can imagine ice banks melting under that smile. - -"I suppose we could give you hot roast chicken," said she. - -"Why, of course you could. Roast chicken is just what you _could_ give -us, and potatoes with their jackets on----" - -"And soup," said the girl, evidently excited over the prospect. - -"Yes, we'll leave the rest to you." - -So we went out and walked through the lovely countryside, noting that -in Ireland fuchsias grow to the proportions of our lilac bushes and -are loaded with the pretty red flowers. - -We were unable to name most of the trees we saw (but that sometimes -happens in America), yet we were both sure we had not seen their like -at home. And the freshness of them all, the brilliant quality of their -green, fulfilled all expectations. - -We took a long walk and arrived at the inn with appetites sharpened. - -Friends in America had told me that I'd not fare very well in Ireland -except in the large towns. I would like to ask at what small -hotel--New York or Chicago or Philadelphia--I would get as well cooked -or as well served a dinner as was brought to me in Londonderry for -three shillings and sixpence. - -If one is looking for Waldorf magnificence and French disguises he'll -not find them here unless it is at Dublin, but if one is blessed with -a good appetite and is willing to put up with plain cooking I fancy he -will do better here than at like hotels at home. - -[Illustration: PROSPERITY IN LIMERICK] - -The Irish are such good cooks that we in the east (of America) have -been employing them for two generations. Let us not forget that. - -We entered the dining-room and had an appetizing soup and then the -Irish potatoes (oh, such Irish potatoes!) and anything tenderer or -better cooked than the chicken it would have been hard to find. We -looked at each other and decided that we would not go on to Port Salon -next day, but would spend another night in Rathmullan, and we said so -to the maid. - -"But you'll take other rooms?" said she, alarmed at once. - -"Oh, yes, honey, we'll go anywhere you put us." - -Now you know we had an itinerary, and to stay longer at Rathmullan was -to cut it short somewhere else, but the stillness and calm, the purple -shadows on the mountains and the lake (Lough Swilly means Lake of -Shadows), had us gripped and we were content to stay and make the -most of it. - -A simple, golden rule sort of people the inhabitants are. We came on a -man clipping hawthorn bushes and asked him how far it was to a certain -point and whether we could "car" it there. - -He told us we could and then he said, "Were ye thinkin' of hirin' a -car, sir?" - -"Yes," said O'Donnell. - -"I have one," said he. - -"Well," said O'Donnell, "we've talked to the landlady about hiring -hers----" - -"Ah, yes," said the man. "Sure I don't want ye to take mine if she -expects to rint hers." - -Such altruism! - -We had comfortable beds in the rooms that had been engaged by wire -"for to-morrow," and indeed they were so comfortable that we never saw -the sunrise at all. But the view from our windows was worth the price -of the rooms and that was--listen!--two shillings and sixpence -apiece! - -Wheat porridge and fresh eggs (oh, so fresh!) and yellow cream and -graham bread and jam for breakfast. What more do you want? - -Oh, yes, I know your kind, my dear sir. - -"What! no steak? No chops, and fried ham and buckwheat cakes and -oranges and grapefruit and hot rolls? What sort of a hotel is this -for an American? You tell the landlady that they don't know how to run -hotels in this country. You tell her to come to God's country, that's -what. Then she'll learn how." - -Yes, then she'll learn how to set out ten or twelve dinkey little -saucers of peas and corn and beans and turnips and rice, all tasting -alike. - -But Mr. O'Donnell and I will continue to like the simplicity of this -inn. - -We astonished the easy-going natives by climbing the mountain on Inch -Island in the morning for the magnificent view and going fishing for -young cod in the afternoon. The young fellow who took us out had the -somewhat Chinese name of Toye, but he was Irish. - -When it came time to settle for the use of the boat and his services -for a matter of two hours he wanted to leave it with us. - -"No, sir," said O'Donnell. "Your Uncle Dudley doesn't do business that -way," with one of his beaming smiles. - -"Oh, I don't know what to charge, sir, pay me what's right." - -"That's just it. I don't know what's right." - -"Well, ye were not out so long. Is two shillin's apiece right?" - -"Very good, indeed, and here's sixpence extra for you," said -O'Donnell, paying him. - -"Oh, thank you, sir," said the boy, evidently thinking the tip far too -much. - -But as we had caught forty-eight fish in the hour we were at the -fishing grounds we felt that it was worth it. Sixpence--and to be -sincerely thanked for it! There are those who are not money grubbers. - -[Illustration: MACKEREL SELLER, BUNDORAN, DONEGAL] - -They use a tackle here that they call "chop sticks"--two pieces of -bamboo fastened at right angles, from which depend the gut and hooks, -while back of them is the heavy sinker. The sinker rests on the bottom -and the ugly red "lugs" (bait) play around in the water until they are -gulped by the voracious coddlings, or cod. We had small hooks and -caught only the youngsters. - -Time after time we threw in our lines, got "two strikes" at once and -pulled in two cod as fast as we could pull in the line. - -No sport in the way of fight on the part of the party of the second -part, but not a little excitement in thus hauling in toothsome food. - -We had them for supper and I tell you, O tired business man, if you -want to know how good fish can taste, come over here and go -a-fishin'. Like us you will stay on and on. - -Oh, yes, about those other people. No, we didn't get out of our rooms, -because the landlady had relatives in America and so she made other -arrangements for her expected guests and we stayed on and overlooked -Lough Swilly. - -Americans are popular over here. But I hope they won't spoil these -simple folk with either excessive tipping or excessive grumbling. - - - - -CHAPTER III - -_A Joyful Day in Donegal_ - - -Holland is noted the world over for its neatness. The Dutch housewives -spend a good part of each morning in scrubbing the sidewalks in front -of their houses. Philadelphia is also a clean town and there you will -see house-maids out scrubbing the front stoops and the brick -pavements. Now a good part of the inhabitants of Donegal emigrate to -Philadelphia. (We in America all know the song, "For I'm Off to -Philadelphia in the Morning.") Well, the third neatest place that -occurs to me is Rathmullan, in Lough Swilly, in County Donegal. - -Whether Philadelphia is neat because of the Irish or the Irish of -Donegal go to Philadelphia because it is neat, I leave to others to -determine. - -All my life I've read and have been told that the north of Ireland was -very different from the south; that the people were better off and -more thrifty, but I did not expect to see such scrupulous neatness. -The houses are mostly white and severely plain in line, built of stone -faced with plaster, sometimes smooth and sometimes rough finished, but -always in apple-pie order (unless they were on parade the three days I -was there). Even the alleys are sweet and clean, and where the people -keep their pigs is a mystery to me. I snapped one, but he was being -driven hither and thither after the manner of Irish pigs, and may not -have lived in Rathmullan at all. - -Here in the town of Donegal while the houses are not of Philadelphia -neatness, they show evidence of housewifely care, and if there is -abject poverty it is carefully concealed. (I have been a week in -Ireland and I have not seen a beggar or a drunken man, although I have -kept my eyes moving rapidly.) - -[Illustration: IN DONEGAL] - -How often must an emigrant who has elected to live in noisome -tenements in American cities long for the white cottages and the green -lanes and noble mountains and verdant valleys of Donegal! - -Every hotel at which I have stopped so far has had hot and cold water -baths and I have only been to small towns. - -I heard a bathing story from a vivacious Irish lady at an evening -gathering that may never have seen American printer's ink. - -She said that in former times a lady stopping at a primitive hotel in -the west of Ireland asked for a bath. She was told by the maid that a -colonel was performing his ablutions in the room in which the bathing -pan was set. - -"But he'll not be long, I'm thinkin', miss," said the maid. - -This lady waited awhile in her room, and at last growing impatient, -she stepped out into the hall and found the maid with her eye to the -keyhole of the bathroom. - -On hearing the lady's footstep she turned around quite unabashed and -said, "He'll be ready in a minute, miss. He's just after gettin' out -of the tub." - -This story was told me in a drawing-room with many young people -present, so it must be true, but candor compels me to say that I have -observed nothing of the kind on this trip. There are no terrors like -those of a bath in an English tub of which I had occasion to speak -last year. - -Speaking of anecdotes, I heard one that concerned the father of the -man who showed us through the lovely ruins of McSwiney's castle at -Rathmullan. Son, father, and grandfather have all in their turn acted -as caretakers of the ruins, and proud enough is the son of his -position. - -But it is of the father that the story goes. - -The wife of an English admiral, whose family were in the habit of -being buried in the graveyard adjoining the abbey whenever they died, -departed this life, and to "Jimmy" fell the task of digging her grave. - -Meeting the admiral some two weeks later he said, "It'll be ten -shillings for yon grave." - -"Is it ten shillings, man?" said the admiral. "Why that's -extortionate. I'll pay five shillings and that's a shilling more than -usual, but I'll not pay ten shillings." - -"Ah, well," said Jimmy, composedly, "if ye'll not pay ten shillings -then I'll dig her up again." And the admiral, knowing Jimmy to be a -man of his word, paid him what does not look to be an exorbitant -price. - -Among the most impressive ruins in the world are those of the Grianan -(or summer palace) of Aileach on Elagh mountain. Here is a circular -fort of rocks some three hundred feet in circumference that antedates -Christ's nativity by from two thousand to three thousand years. It is -supposed to have been a temple of the sun worshippers and occupies a -magnificent and awesome position from which to see either the arrival -or the departure of the sun god, for the half of County Donegal lies -north, south, east, and west at your feet. Such an extended view is -seldom vouchsafed to the dwellers within towns and I don't wonder that -the sun worshippers built there a temple to their deity. - -There it still stands, its walls eighteen feet high and twelve feet -thick. It has been somewhat restored by Dr. Bernard, of Derry, but -does not seem to vie with the Giant's Causeway as an attraction to -visitors. There were only three persons there when we went up, but -there is a holy well just outside of it and from the number of -bandages fluttering in the wind there I imagine that a good many -maimed people manage to scale the steep ascent. - -I said that Elagh mountain afforded a fine view for the dwellers -within towns. It is only six miles by car and a mile by foot (I -suppose seven miles in any manner would cover it) from Derry. - -By the way, for ease and comfort to a naturally lazy man, commend me -to a jaunting car. The cushioned top with which they cover the "well" -that lies between the sidewise seats is an admirable place on which to -"slop over" and loll on from the seat, and so far from being an -insecure perch, it is just as safe as a dog cart or a buggy. And the -motion is pleasantly stimulating to the system. The well-built, -vigorous, well-fed cob trots with the regularity of a metronome or a -London cab horse, reeling off mile after mile. We did our twelve miles -to and from Elagh mountain in less than two hours and at a cost of -three shillings apiece, exclusive of the sixpenny tip. They don't do -those things as cheap in New York or Chicago. - -At Donegal my friend had to see a solicitor on business and after it -was over he came to me and said that the solicitor would like to take -us sailing down Donegal Bay. I was delighted to go, but I wondered -whether we would walk down to the bay or ride there. I knew that it -was several miles out, for I had seen it across the wet sands that -stretch from the town's center seaward. - -My uncertainty was soon dispelled, for two minutes' walk brought us to -where the bare sands had been a few hours before, and lo, Donegal Bay -had come to us and the solicitor's boat was riding on the water -waiting to be off. A tide is a handy thing to have about. - -As one leaves the inlet and looks back he gets a picture that might -have been composed by an exceedingly successful landscape gardener. -The trim little town showing a bit of the ruins of Donegal castle and -one graceful church spire, wooded hills running up from the town on -either side; back of all this hills of greater magnitude, destitute -of trees, and then, towering up in the distance, the great, gaunt -Barnesmore that forms part of a heaven-kissing train. - -We sailed well out into the bay with favoring winds, and had most -noble views of purple mountains on every side, but when we turned to -go back the wind made off to sea, laughing at us, and we came back -laggingly, but in plenty of time for a cozy supper in the solicitor's -home and an all evening chat with him. - -We had never met until that day, but his welcome was as hearty as if -he had been anxiously awaiting our coming. - -As I got off the train at Donegal a heavy hand clapped me on the -shoulder, and, turning, I saw Seumas McManus, whose Irish stories are -so well known in America. - -He lives at Mount Charles, a village lying three Irish miles from -Donegal, and nothing would do but my friend and I must have dinner -with him. - -We accepted with pleasure, and next day walked up there, meeting more -pretty girls returning from mass than it seemed right for two to meet -when there were so many people in the world who seldom see a pretty -face. But we tried to bear our good fortune meekly and strode on, -quite conscious in the warm sun that an Irish mile has an English mile -beaten by many yards. That ought to be cause for satisfaction to any -Irishman. - -McManus has a bungalow on top of Mount Charles, and at his feet lie -seven counties. They have a way of throwing counties at your feet in -this part of Ireland that makes the view superb. The furthermost land -that is his to look at on a clear day lies a hundred miles to the -south. - -Such a view ought to stimulate a man to noble thoughts, and I was not -surprised to learn that McManus is a member of the Sinn Fein (Shinn -Fane) Society (it means, "Ourselves Alone"), what one might call -bloodless revolutionists, although it comprises much of the best blood -and the youngest blood in Ireland. - -[Illustration: THE BUNGALOW OF SEUMAS MCMANUS] - -McManus is an ardent believer in a glorious future for Ireland when -she shall have shaken off the shackles that bind her, and as a good -American, I wrote in his guest book, "May Ireland come to her own -before I die." - - - - -CHAPTER IV - -_The Dull Gray Skies of Ireland_ - - -I am coming more and more to believe that we have better weather in -America than we give the poor country credit for. What passes for good -weather here would make a poor substitute for the American article. I -will not deny that it is soft and insinuating, but it is also not to -be depended upon. I went out to climb a wild-looking mountain near -Bundoran, on the northwest coast. To my inexperienced eye the day -looked promising--that is promising rain--but the driver, of whom I -had ordered a car to take me to the base of the mountain, said there'd -be no rain. All those ugly clouds hovering over the summit of it were -merely reminders that there was such a thing as rain, and so we -started. - -[Illustration: A SKY LINE AT BUNDORAN] - -And here let me make a few remarks about Irish weather in general. You -are out walking in a fine "mizzle," that penetrates ordinary cloth -with the utmost ease, and you meet a countryman to whom you observe -"Not very pleasant." "Oh, it's a bit soft, but it's pleasant enough." -What a blessing it is to be easily satisfied. - -You strike a day without sun and positively chilly, and the natives -assure you it is fine, that they had awful weather last week, but -that, according to the barometer, the weather is going to be steady -for awhile. They have borrowed the barometer habit from the English, -and it really is a comfort when you're going for a long walk or drive -to see that it points to fair. "Fair to middling" would be better. - -Well, my driver and I set out for the mountain, and on the way I asked -him the question I ask all of the peasants with whom I hold -conversation, "Would you like to go to America?" - -"Sure I would. I'll not be stayin' here long. I've an aunt an' a -brother an' a cousin an' a sister an' an uncle beyant. There's no -chance here." - -I wonder whether the reason why there is no chance is because the -Irishman is lacking in application. I fell in with a delightful man at -a little town in County Fermanagh. I wanted a little thing done to my -watch and I asked him how long it would take to do it. - -He assured me that he was driven to death with work and was up till -late every night trying to get ahead, but that he would try to find -time to mend my watch some time before seven o'clock, when he -nominally closed. Then he followed me to the door of his shop and -began to ask me questions about America, which I was glad to answer, -as I had a half hour to kill before starting for some sight or other, -and I killed that half hour most agreeably with the little man's help. -He pointed out different passers by and told me their life histories. -And every once in a while he would say, "I've not had a day off for -nearly a year, not even bank holiday. Never a minute for anything but -work. I've an order now that's going to keep me busy, except for the -time I'll give to your watch, all the rest of the day. And dinner -eaten in my workshop to save time." - -I told him I wished he wasn't so driven, but I knew how it was with a -man who did good work, and then I bade him good day and didn't go near -there until seven in the evening. I found him outside the shop -discussing the strike of the constabulary at Belfast with a neighbor. - -"Awfully sorry, sir, but I've been so busy to-day that I've been -unable to finish that job. It'll not take over twenty minutes when I -get to it. Can you come in the morning?" - -I told him I could, say about eight o'clock. - -"Oh, dear no. We don't open the shops until nine." - -"Very well, then, nine will do." - -And having some more time that I wished to kill I entered into a -discussion with him and his neighbor as to the extent to which the -constabulary disaffection would spread, and it was eight o'clock when -I went back to my hotel. - -Next morning I was at the shop at nine and he was just taking down the -shutters. Said he'd worked until ten the night before, but seemed -further behind than before. If I'd come up into his workroom he'd fix -my watch while I waited. - -Up there he had some photographs to show me that he had taken a year -ago and had only just found time to develop, and we talked photography -for a matter of twenty minutes, and then he fixed my watch in a jiffy -when he got to work. - -[Illustration: THE ROCKS AT BUNDORAN ON THE WEST COAST] - -He's typical not only of Irishmen, but of Yankees, too--men who can -work fast if you seal their mouths. - -I was sorry I had to journey on, because our talks had been pleasant -and it had never once entered his head that he was wasting that time -of which he had so little, although he dealt in watches. - -But to return to my driver. - -When we reached the base of the mountain he put the horse up in a -stone stable that belonged to a poor woman. Think of a poor woman -housing her cow in a stone stable, built to stand the wear and tear of -generations! - -We had no sooner begun our climb of the hill or mountain than the rain -came down in earnest, and my shoes were soon wet through, but I -persevered, somewhat to the disappointment of the boy, who was better -used to being wet on his car than on foot. But when we reached the -top the view of all Donegal bay and the mountains beyond, and many -other bits of geography not half as beautiful on the map as they are -in nature, repaid me for my climb and wetting. - -And when I said, "It's too bad it rained just as we got here," my -driver said, "It's always rainin' on the mountains," although when he -was getting me for a passenger he had assured me it wouldn't rain on -the mountain. - -We made our way down through the wet, but still beautifully purple -heather, and just as we reached the level the rain stopped. It was as -if our feet upon the mountain had precipitated the rain. - -But at the close of the drive I found a comfortable inn and a most -agreeable dinner of fresh caught fish, and that mutton that we never -seem to get in America, and I still felt that the climb was worth the -wetting. - -But the weather never ceases to astonish me. Dull gray skies at home -would depress me, but here I am thankful for dull gray skies if they -only stop leaking long enough to enable me to do my accomplished task -of walking or driving. - -But real rain has no terrors for countryman or city man in Ireland. I -attended a concert at the exhibition in Dublin (and it would not have -been a tax on the imagination to pretend one was at Lunar Park in -Coney Island or at the French Exposition or the Pan-American). There -was the usual bandstand, and the Dublin populace to the extent of -several thousands were seated on little chairs listening to the -combined bands of H. M. Second Life Guards, the Eighty-seventh Royal -Irish Fusiliers (Faugh-a-Ballaghs) and the Forty-second Royal -Highlanders (the Black Watch). - -Outside the circle of those in seats passed and repassed a slowly -promenading crowd made up of pretty Dublin girls and their escorts, -with mustaches as spindle-waxed as ever any Frenchman's, a sprinkling -of English, and the ever-present Americans, with their alert eyes, the -Americans straw-hatted, the English derbied, and the Irish, almost to -a man, wearing huge, soft green or gray-visored cloth caps. - -Suddenly the rain began to fall. - -I know at least two Americans who put for shelter, but the Irish -people present merely put up umbrellas and went on promenading and -sitting and listening to the music. Gay strains from "The Mikado" -(there were no Japanese present), somber umbrellas, colorful millinery -and drizzling rain. An American crowd would have made for the main -exhibition building, but I doubt if the Dubliners noticed that it was -raining. Their umbrellas went up under subconscious direction. - -After the concert the crowds went home in the double-decker electric -trams, and every seat on the roof of every car was filled by the -holiday crowd, although the rain was still coming down in a -relentless fashion. - -In the north they would have called it a bit soft. I know we felt like -mush when we arrived at our hotel. - - - - -CHAPTER V - -_The Joys of Third-Class Travel_ - - -In Ireland, if you wish to travel third class, it is well to get into -a carriage marked "non smoking." If there is no sign on it it is a -smoking compartment, quite probably, the custom here being often the -direct opposite of that in Great Britain. - -If you are traveling with women in the party the second class is -advisable, but the third has this advantage--it saves you money that -you can spend on worthless trinkets that may be confiscated by our -customs house officers. - -I have been ten days in the north of Ireland and I met my first -drunken man in a third-class carriage. - -Will the W. C. T. U. kindly make a note of this? Allow me to repeat -for the benefit of those who took up the paper after I had begun--I -have been ten days in Ireland and have traveled afoot, acar, and on -train and tram through half a dozen northern counties and have been on -the outlook for picturesque sights, and I saw my first drunken man -yesterday afternoon--the afternoon of the tenth day. - -He was in a third-class smoking compartment, and in my hurry to make -my train I stepped in without noticing the absence of the sign. - -He was a very old and rather nice-looking, clean-shaven man, and his -instincts were for the most part of the kindliest, but he would have -irritated Charles Dickens exceedingly, for he was an inveterate -spitter, of wonderful aim, and, like the beautiful lady in the -vaudeville shows whose husband surrounds her with knives without once -touching her, I was surrounded but unharmed. When the old man saw my -straw hat a gleam of interest came into his dull eye, and he came -over and sat down right opposite me. - -"Are ye a Yankee?" said he. I assured him that I was. "I thought so be -your hat, but you don't talk like a Yankee." So I handed him out a few -"by Goshes," which he failed to recognize and told me plainly that he -doubted my nationality. Except for my hat I was no Yankee. Now my hat -was made in New York, but I knew that this was a subtlety that would -pass him, so I again proclaimed my nationality, and he asked me with -great politeness if I objected to his smoking (keeping up his -fusillade all the time) and I with polite insincerity told him that I -didn't. For his intentions were of the kindliest. I believe he would -have stopped spitting if I had asked him to, but I hated to deprive so -old a man of so quiet a pleasure. - -The talk now turned to the condition of Ireland, and he told me in his -maudlin, thickly articulated way that Ireland was on the eve of a -great industrial revival. As I had repeatedly heard this from the lips -of perfectly sober people I believed it. I told him that he would live -to see a more prosperous Ireland. - -[Illustration: GEESE IN GALWAY] - -This he refused to believe and once more asked me if I was as American -as my hat. I assured him that perhaps I was even more so and that his -grandchildren would surely live to see Triumphant Ireland. This he -accepted gladly, and coming to his place of departure, bade me kindly -farewell, and stumbled over his own feet out of the compartment. And I -immediately changed to one where smoking was not allowed. - -It was on the same journey that I stopped at a place called Omagh, and -while waiting for a connection we were at the station some time. I was -reading, but suddenly became conscious that some young people were -having a very happy time, for peal after peal of laughter rang -through the station. After awhile I looked up and found that I was the -cause of all this joy on the part of young Ireland. There were three -or four girls absolutely absorbed in me and my appearance. I supposed -it was again the American hat, but suddenly one of the girls "pulled a -face" that I recognized as a caricature of my own none too merry -countenance, and the group went off into new peals of merriment. - -"How pleasant a thing it is," thought I, "that by the mere exhibition -of the face nature gave me in America I can amuse perfect strangers in -a far-off land," and I smiled benignantly at the young women, which -had the effect of nearly sending them into hysterics. - -Life was a little darker for them after the train pulled out, but I -could not stay in Omagh for the mere purpose of exciting their -risibles by the exposition of my gloomy features. - -Everywhere I go I am a marked man. I feared for a time that there was -something the matter with my appearance, but at Enniskillen I fell in -with a young locomotive engineer from California, and he told me that -he too aroused attention wherever he went, and that in Cork youngsters -followed him shouting "Yankee!" Fancy a "Yankee" from California! - -At Enniskillen I went for a walk with this young engine driver and we -passed two pretty young girls, of whom he inquired the way to the -park. It seems that the young women were on their way there themselves -and they very obligingly showed us how to go. It occurred to the -gallant young Californian that such an exhibition of kindliness was -worth rewarding, and he asked the ladies if they did not care to -stroll through the park. They, having nothing else to do and the -evening being fine, consented, and we made a merry quartette. - -I have been somewhat disappointed in the Irishman as a wit in my -actual contact with him on his native heath, but these girls showed -that wit was still to be found. They were very quick at decorous -repartee, and although my San Francisco friend neglected to introduce -me to them (possibly because he did not know their names), I paid a -tribute to their gifts of conversation. - -Nor should it be imagined for a moment that they were of that -sisterhood so deservedly despised by that estimable and never to be -too well thought of Mrs. Grundy--they were simply working girls who -were out for an evening stroll and who saw in a chance conversation -with representatives of the extreme east and west of America an -opportunity for mental improvement. - -They were, it may be, unconventional, but how much more interesting -are such people than those whose lives are ordered by rule. - -We left the young women in the park intent upon the glories of a day -that was dying hard (after eighteen hours of daylight) and as we made -our way to the hotel we agreed that a similar readiness to converse -with strangers on the part of young women in New York would have given -reasonable cause for various speculations. - -But Ireland has a well-earned reputation for a certain thing, which -the just published table of vital statistics for the year 1906 goes -far to strengthen. - -In the morning the young locomotive pusher and myself had attended a -cattle show at Enniskillen fair grounds. - -I don't mind saying that I had stayed over a day in order to go to the -fair, for I have not read Irish literature for nothing, and I was -perfectly willing to see a fight and ascertain the strength of a -shillelagh as compared with a Celtic skull. - -It was a great day for Enniskillen and for the Enniskillen Guards, who -were out in force. There were also pretty maidens from all the -surrounding counties and not a few of the gentry who had been -attracted by the jumping contests. - -But--what a disappointment. - -Irishmen? Why, you'll see more Irishmen any pleasant day below -Fourteenth Street in New York. And those that were there were so -painfully well behaved and quiet. And as for speaking the Irish -dialect--well, I wish that some of the Irish comedians who have been -persuaded that Irishmen wear green whiskers would come over here and -listen to Irishmen speak. They wouldn't understand them, they speak so -like other people. - -For ginger and noise and varied interests any New England cattle show -has this one beaten to a pulp--if one may use so common an expression -in a newspaper. - -The noisiest things there were the bulls, and they were vociferous and -huge. But the men were soft spoken and there seemed little of the -"Well, I swan! I hain't seen you for more'n two years. How's it -goin'?" "Oh, fair to middlin'. Able to set up an' eat spoon vittles" -atmosphere in the place, although undoubtedly it was a great gathering -of people who seldom met. Not a single side show. Not a three-card -monte man or a whip seller or a vendor of non-intoxicants. - -There was just one man selling what must have been mock oranges, for -such mockeries of oranges I never saw. They were the size of peaches -and the engineer told me they were filled with dusty pulp. - -I bought none. - -The racing and fence jumping in the afternoon were interesting, but -there was no wild Yankee excitement on the part of the crowd and no -hilarity. There was only one man that I noticed as having taken more -than was necessary, and the only effect it had on him was to unlock -the flood gates of an incoherent eloquence that caused a great deal -of amusement to those who were able to extricate a sequence of ideas -from the alcoholic freshet of words. - -One venerable-looking man, with a flowing white beard of the sort -formerly worn by Americans of the requisite years, fell from a fence -where he was viewing the jumping and was knocked out for a time. He -had been "overcome by the heat," at which, out of respect to him, I -took off my overcoat. The Irish idea of heat is different from the New -York one. - -The splendid old fellow had served thirty-three years on the police -force and had been a police pensioner for thirty-one years, and as he -must have been twenty-one when he joined the force he was upwards of -eighty-five. - -Would Edward Everett Hale view a race from a picket fence? There is -something in the Irish air conducive to longevity. In the evening I -saw the old man standing in the doorway of a temperance hotel talking -with men some seventy years younger than he. - -A local tradesman told me that in the town of Enniskillen where -formerly any public gathering was sure to be followed by a public -fight, he had seen the Catholic band and the Orangemen's band playing -amicably the same tune (I'll bet it wasn't "The Wearing of the -Green"), as they marched side by side up the main street. - -The world do move. - - - - -CHAPTER VI - -_A Few Irish Stories_ - - -If you enter Ireland by the north, as I did, you will not hear really -satisfying Irish dialect until you reach Dublin. The dialect in the -north is very like Scotch, yet if it were set down absolutely -phonetically it would be neither Scotch nor Irish to the average -reader, but a new and hard dialect, and he would promptly skip the -story that was clothed in this strange dress. - -But in Dublin one hears two kinds of speech, the most rolling, full -and satisfying dialect and also the most perfect English to be found -in the British Isles. - -It is a delight to hear one's mother tongue spoken with such careless -precision, with just the suspicion of a brogue to it. I am told it is -really the way that English was spoken when the most successful -playwright was not Shaw, but Shakespeare. - -[Illustration: _DUBLIN BAY_] - -The folk tale that follows was told me, not by a Dublin jarvey, but by -a Dublin artist whose command of the right word was as great as his -command of his brush. - -He regaled me with many stories of Irishmen and Ireland and never let -pass a chance to abuse the English in the most amusingly good-natured -way. To him the English as a race were a hateful, selfish lot. Most of -the Englishmen he knew personally were exceptions to this rule, but he -was convinced that the average Englishman was a man who was nurtured -in selfishness and hypocritical puritanism. - -But this is far afield from his story of the first looking glass. - -Once upon a time (said my friend) a man was out walking by the edge -of the ocean and he picked up a looking glass. - -Into the glass he looked and he saw there the face of himself. - -"Oh," said he, "'tis a picture of my father," and he took it to his -cabin and hung it on the wall. And often he would go to look at it, -and always he said, "'Tis a picture of my father." - -But one day he took to himself a wife, and when she went to the mirror -and looked in she said: - -"I thought you said this was a picture of your father. Sure, it is a -picture of an ugly, red-headed woman. Who is she?" - -"What have ye?" said the man. "Step away and let me to it." - -So she stepped away and let him to it and he looked at it again. - -"Ah," said he with a sigh (for his father was dead), "'tis a picture -of my father." - -"Step away," said she, "and let me see if it's no eyes at all I have. -What have you with pictures of women?" - -So he stepped away and let her to it, and she looked in it again. - -"An ugly, red-headed woman it is," said she. "You had a lover before -me," and she was very angry. - -"Sure we'll leave it to the priest," said he. - -And when the priest passed by they called him in and said, "Father, -tell us what it is that this picture is about. I say it is my father, -who is dead." - -"And I say it is a red-haired woman I never saw," said the woman. - -"Step away," said the priest, with authority, "and let me to it." - -So they stepped away and let the priest to it, and he looked at it. - -"Sure neither you nor the woman was right. What eyes have ye? It is a -picture of a holy father. I will take it to adorn the church." - -And he took it away with him, to the gladness of the wife, who hated -the woman her husband had in the frame, and to the grief of the man, -who could see his father no more. - -But in the church was the picture of a holy man. - -Quite the folklore quality. - -I heard a story of a well-known Dublin priest, Father Healy, very -witty and very kindly, who was invited by a millionaire, probably a -brewer, to go on a cruise with him. - -Over the seas they sailed and landed at many ports, and the priest -could not put his hand into his pocket, for he was the guest of the -millionaire. - -At last they returned to Dublin and the millionaire, being a man of -simplicity of character, the two took a tram to their destination. - -"Now it's my turn," said the priest, with a twinkle in his eye, and, -putting his hand in his pocket, he paid the fare for the two. - -[Illustration: A DUBLIN ICE CART] - -And here's another. - -Two Irishmen were in Berlin at a music hall, and just in front of them -sat two officers with their shakos on their heads. - -Leaning forward, with a reputation for courtesy to sustain, one of the -Irishmen said, pleasantly, "Please remove your helmet; I can't see the -stage for the plume." - -By way of reply the German officer insolently flipped the Irishman in -the face with his glove. - -In a second the Irishman was on his feet and in another second the -officer's face was bleeding from a crashing blow. - -Satisfaction having been thus obtained, the two Irishmen left the cafe -and returned to their hotel, where they boasted of the affair. - -Fortunately kind friends at once showed them the necessity of -immediately crossing the frontier. - -That the Irishman had not been run through by the officer's sword was -due to the fact that he was a foreigner. - -Speaking of fights, the other day an American friend of mine was -taking a walk in Dublin and he came on a street fight. Four men were -engaged in it, and no one else was interfering. Passers by glanced -over their shoulders and walked on. Two women, evidently related to -the contestants, stood by awaiting the result. - -My friend mounted a flight of steps and watched the affair with -unaffected interest. - -A member of the Dublin constabulary happened to pass the street, and, -glancing down, saw to his disgust that it was up to him to stop a -fight. - -Slowly he paced toward them, giving them time to finish at least one -round. - -But the two women saw him coming and, rushing into the mixture of -fists and arms and legs, hustled the combatants into the house, and -the policeman went along his beat twirling, not his club, but his -waxed mustache. - -I told a Dublin man of this incident, deploring my luck in not having -come across it with my camera in my hand. - -He said: "That policeman was undoubtedly sorry that he happened on the -row. He would much have preferred to let them fight it out while he -sauntered by on another street all unknowing. Not that he was afraid -to run them in, but that an Irishman loves a fight." - -Another sight that I saw myself at a time when my camera was not with -me was two little boys, not five years apiece, engaged in a wrestling -match under the auspices of their father, who proudly told me that -they were very good at it. The little fellows shook hands, flew at -each other, and wrestled for all they were worth. And from the time -they clinched until one or the other was thrown they were laughing -with joy. They wrestled for several rounds, but the laughter never -left them. - -How much better it is for little children to learn to fight under the -watchful and appreciative eye of a kind father than to learn at the -hands of vindictive strangers. - -[Illustration: O'CONNELL'S MONUMENT, DUBLIN] - - - - -CHAPTER VII - -_Snapping and Tipping_ - - -The poor man never knows the cares and responsibilities that beset the -man of wealth, and the man without a kodak does not know how keen is -the disappointment of a picture missed--be the cause what it may. - -Heretofore I have traveled care free for two reasons: one was I never -had any money to speak of, and the other was I never carried a camera. -I looked at the superb view, or the picturesque street group, solely -for its passing interest, with never a thought of locking it up in a -black box for the future delectation of my friends, and to bore -transient visitors who, as I have noticed, always begin to look up -their time tables when the snapshot album is produced of a rainy -Sunday afternoon. - -But this year some one with the glib tongue of a salesman persuaded me -of the delights that were consequent on the pressing of a button, and -I purchased a camera of the sort that makes its owner a marked man. - -The first two or three days I was as conscious as a man who has just -shaved his mustache on a dare, and who expects his wife home from the -country any minute. I fancied that every one knew I was a novice, -although even I hadn't seen any of my pictures as yet. - -I snapped a number of friends on the steamer, and even had the -audacity to make the captain look pleasant--but in his case it came -natural, and really, when it was printed, even strangers could hear -his hearty laugh whenever they looked at the picture, so true to life -was it. - -Of course it was beginner's luck, but as I went on snapping and -getting the films developed I found that I had picked up a fine lens, -and the pictures I was taking were really worth while, and then-- - -Say, have you ever had hen fever? Has your pulse ever quickened at -sight of an egg you could call your own? Have you ever breathed hard, -when the old hen led forth thirteen fluffy chickens and you reflected -that thirteen chickens would reach the egg-laying stage in seven -months, and that if each of them hatched out thirteen you would have -one hundred and sixty-nine inside of a year--and then have you gone -out and bought twenty old hens, so as to have wholesale success--with -deplorable results? If you have done all these things you know what a -man does whose first snapshots are successful. I laid in supplies of -films till my pockets bulged and my purse looked lean. - -And the first time the sun shone after landing at 'Derry, I went out -to see the Giant's Causeway--and left my camera behind me. - -Then I experienced for the first time the sensation as of personal -loss, when the views that might have been mine were left where they -grew. - -On my way back I came on a hardened old sinner of sixty odd years -teaching a little kiddie of four to smoke a cigarette. If I had had my -camera I could have batted the old man over the head with it. But it -was in the hotel. - -When I show my views to visitors they will say, "And didn't you go to -the Giant's Causeway?" nor will they accept my reason for the lack of -a view. And I feel that the set is incomplete. - -As time went on I noticed several things that are probably obvious to -every amateur. One was that on the days on which I remembered to take -my camera I saw very commonplace subjects and only snapped because I -had the habit. Another was that no matter how fine the weather was -when I set out with my camera, it was sure to cloud up, just as we -reached the castle or met the pretty peasant girl, who was only too -willing to be taken. - -[Illustration: ON THE ROAD TO LISMORE, - IN A RAIN STORM] - -One day I was walking from Cappoquin to Lismore, all unconscious of -what lay before me, and just for wantonness I took trees and pictures -that might have been in any country. At last I had but two films left, -and then the meeting of several droves of cattle coming from Lismore -told me that it must be Fair Day there. Just then lovely, noble, -glorious Lismore castle burst on my view and I had to take it. - -And then I came on the fair and saw pictures at every turn. - -Funny little donkeys with heads quite buried in burlap bags the while -they sought for oats, gay-petticoated and pretty-faced women in -groups, grizzled farmers that looked the part, waterbutts on wheels in -Rembrandtesque passageways, leading to sunlit courtyards -beyond--regular prize winners if one had any sort of luck. - -And then a man with an ingratiating brogue asked me to take him and -his cart and almost before I knew it I had taken a sow that weighed -all of five hundred pounds, and my snapshooting was over for the day. - -You may be sure that next day I went well prepared, but Fair Day is -only once a month, and fair days are not much more plentiful, and it -rained all day, and the only thing I saw worth taking was a sort of -Don Quixote windmill that had been run by a horse probably years -before the expression "the curse o' Crummel" (Cromwell) came to be -used, and I was in a swiftly moving train and there was a woman in the -way--oh! there's no doubt that camerading is fascinating, but it is -also vexatious. - -Still, my advice to those about to travel is--take a camera. If it's a -very rainy Sunday you may want them to leave on an early train. - -Tipping is a subject that is always worth discussing. A man does not -like to give less than the usual tip, and he ought not to give more, -because it makes it hard for the next man, who may not be able to -afford much of an expenditure. - -Tipping in Ireland is a very mild thing compared to continental -tipping. I'll never forget my first experience in Amsterdam. I have -spent many agreeable and useful years since then, and the world has -been better for my presence, for eighty-four months at least, since -that day, but the comic opera features of that first wholesale tipping -stand out as if I heard the whole thing last night at some Broadway -theater. - -There were two of us, and we had spent two delightful days in -Amsterdam, doing the picture galleries and confirming Baedeker as hard -as we could, and now we must give up the two huge rooms on the first -floor that we occupied at the Grand Hotel (to give it a name) and make -our way to other Dutch hostelries. - -I said to Massenger, "How about tipping? Does it obtain in Holland?" - -"Oh, yes," said Massenger, with a gleam in his eye. "It obtains all -right. You leave it to them." - -"How much shall I leave to them?" said I, looking at the small coins I -had withdrawn from my pocket. - -"Well, we have been royally treated, and there are a good many waiters -and chambermaids and 'portiers,' and a proprietor or two, and the -equivalent for boots, and the 'bus driver." - -"But how are we to get them all?" - -"Just pay your bill and you'll get them all right," said Massenger. (I -should explain that whoever travels with me is called Massenger. It -saves trouble.) - -I did not quite understand, but I signified my intention of paying my -bill, and the proprietor or his steward was all bows and smiles, and -handed it to me, at the same time ringing a bell. - -Then the chorus began to assemble. Lads and maidens in the persons of -waiters whom I had never seen, and chambermaids of whom I had never -heard, began to swarm into the office. - -After they had ranged themselves picturesquely the boots began to -arrive. Some from neighboring hotels who had heard the bell came -running in, and grouped themselves behind the maids. Then a head -waiter who looked like a tenor came seriously in and I expected that -in a moment I would hear: - - "'Tis the very first of May, - Though we've not a thing to say, - We will stand here, anyway - Stand awhile and sing." - -I looked at Massenger and asked him what it all meant. - -"It's in our honor," said he. "We've got to shell out." - -And sure enough it was. We had to disgorge pro rata to all the -assembled ones, and Massenger said afterward that he thought one or -two of the guests came in for certain of our gratuities. - -When we stepped into the 'bus, quite innocent of coins of any sort, I -listened, expecting to hear: - - "Now, in spite of rainy day, - We have gone and made our hay. - And I don't care what you say, - When the Yankees come this way - We get what they bring." - -They got it all right, but I was quite unnerved for some time. The -attack had been so sudden. - -In Ireland there is nothing to equal this for system, and a copper -does make a man feel grateful--or at least it does make him express -gratitude. I have yet to hear curses in Ireland. - -But when you visit private houses you don't know what to do. Tips are -expected there--not by everybody, but by maid and coachman, anyhow, -and you wonder what is the right thing to do. - -To be sure you have caused trouble. You have placed your boots outside -your door, just as you have latterly learned to do at home, and it -was a maid who gave them that dull polish that wears out in a half -hour. Leave polish behind when you leave America--that seems, by the -way, to be the motto of a good many traveling Americans, but I -referred to the kind that you can see your face in when imparted by an -Italian. - -[Illustration: MILK WAGON, MALLOW] - -I had an experience when on my way to visit Lady ----, in County -Monaghan, in the central part of Ireland. - -Just how much to tip a coachman of a "Lady" I did not know. A shilling -did not seem enough, and two shillings seemed a good deal, and the -fellow did not have the arrogance of an English coachman. He was -simple and kindly, and was willing to talk to me, although he never -ventured a word unless I spoke to him. - -When I had alighted at Ballybully station a ragged man had seized my -valise, and on ascertaining my destination had carried it to a smart -jaunting car driven by a liveried driver. I offered him a copper, and -he looked at it and said, "Sure, you're too rich a man to be contint -with that." - -So to contint meself I gave him sixpence, just what I had paid for -having my trunk carried one hundred and eighty miles, and climbed to -the car. - -On the way to the estate of Lady Clancarty (to give her a name also) I -figured on what I'd better give. To give too much would be as bad as -to give too little. Still, if it cost a sixpence for my suit case to -go a hundred yards, a three-mile drive should be worth a half pound at -least. - -At last, just as we were driving in at the lodge gates, I foresaw that -I must make haste--as it would never do to hand out my tip in the -presence of my hostess--so I reached over the "well" and handed two -shillings to the driver. He seemed surprised and pulled a bit hard on -the left line. There was a swerve, a loud snap, and the step of the -car was broken short off against the gate! - -I was conscience-stricken, but said not a word for a minute. Then the -driver said, "I've been driving for twinty-three years and niver had -an accident before." - -He had jumped out and thrown the step into the "well" between us. - -I had visions of the sacking of the old family driver, and all because -I had not known how much of a gratuity to give him. - -But when I offered to make up the damage he said, "Indeed an' I'll be -able to fix it myself." And fix it he did, so that no one was the -wiser. - -But the pain of those few moments when I expected to be driven into -the presence of my hostess with the car a wreck will not soon fade. - -As a matter of fact, it was a good half mile to the house after we -left the lodge, and when we arrived I jumped from the seat without -using the step, and no one ever knew the humiliation that had come to -the driver after twenty-three years. - - - - -CHAPTER VIII - -_Random Remarks on Things Corkonian_ - - -They told me that Cork was a very dirty city. They even said it was -filthy, and they said it in such a way as to reflect on Irishmen in -general and Corkonians in particular. - -Yes, they said that Cork was a dirty city, and so I found it--almost -as dirty as New York. This may sound like a strong statement, but I -mean it. - -When I arrived in Cork I saw a hill and made for it at once, because -after railway there is nothing that so takes the kinks out of a -fellow's legs as a walk up a stiff hill. And anyhow I was on a walking -tour. - -I arrived at the top about sunset. On reading this sentence over I -find that it sounds as if the hill was an all-day journey, but it was -only a matter of a few squares, and when I started the sun had long -since made up its mind to set. - -In Ireland the sun takes on Irish ways, and is just a little dilatory. -It always means to set, and it always does set in time to avoid being -out in the dark, but it's "an unconscionably long time a dying." - -At the summit of the hill I saw a church steeple that appealed to my -esthetic sense, and I asked a little boy what church it was. - -"Shandon churrch, sirr," said he with the rapid and undulating -utterance of the Corkonian. - -"Where the bells are?" said I. - -"Yes," said he, smiling. "And over beyont is the Lee." - -"The pleasant waters of the river Lee," I quoted at him, and he smiled -again. Probably every traveler who goes to Cork quotes the lovely old -bit of doggerel, but the Corkonian smiles and smiles. - -The river Lee runs through the center of Cork, and at evening it is a -favorite place for fishing, also for learning to swim on dry land. - -The fishermen seem to fish for the love of casting, and the little -boys swim on the pavement--two pursuits as useless as they are -pleasant. Over the bridge the fishermen leaned, and cast their lines -in anything but pleasant places--for the river is malodorous--and the -little boys stood on benches and dived to the pavement, where they -spat and then went through the motions of swimming. - -There were dozens of the little boys, and most of them seemed to be -brothers. Some of them were quite expert in diving backward, and all -of them were dirty, but they seemed to be happy. I could not help -thinking how soon the Celtic mind begins to use symbols, for it was -easy to see that when the boys spat it signified a watering place to -them. I dare say they were breaking a city ordinance in spitting, and -if they knew that they were that much happier--stolen sweets are the -sweetest. - -During the time I watched the setting sun--which was still at it and, -by the way, performed some lovely variations on a simple color scheme -in the sky--not even an eel was caught, but the fishermen cast under -the bridge, let their bait float down the (un) pleasant waters, and -drew in their lines again and again--mute examples of a patience that -one does not associate with Ireland. - -At last I left them and started out to find Shandon church, which -seemed but a few squares away. - -My pathway led through the slums, and up a hill so steep that I hope -horses only use it as a means of descent. I passed one fireside where -the folks looked cosy and happy and warm. It was a summer evening, but -chilly, and the place into which I looked was a shop for the sale of -coal. Shoemakers' children are generally barefooted, but these people -were burning their own coal, and the mother and the dirty children -sprawled around the store or home, in a shadow-casting way, that would -have delighted Mynheer Rembrandt if he had passed by. - -I was struck with the population of Cork. It was most of it on the -sidewalk, and nearly all of it was under sixteen. Pretty faces, too, -among them, and happy looking. I think that sympathy would have been -wasted on them. They had so much more room than they would have had in -New York, and they were not any dirtier--than New Yorkers of the same -class. - -After I had reached the top of the hill I turned and looked for -Shandon church and it was gone. I asked a boy what had become of it, -and he told me that in following my winding way through the -convolutions known as streets I had gotten as far from the church as -I could in the time. He told me pleasantly just how to go to get to -the church, and it involved going to the foot of the hill and -beginning again. - -I asked a number of times after that, and always got courteous but -rapid answers. The Irish are great talkers, but the Corkonian could -handicap himself with a morning's silence, and beat his brothers from -other counties before evening. - -At last I came on the church, passing, just before I reached it, the -Greencoat Hospital National School, with its quaint and curious (to -quote three of Poe's words) statues of a green-coated boy and girl. - -I asked a man when the bells began to ring (for I had been told that -they only rang at night). - -"'Every quar-rter of an hour, sirr, they'll be ringing in a couple of -minutes, sirr." - -[Illustration: GREEN COAT HOSPITAL, CORK] - -One likes to indulge in a bit of sentiment sometimes, and I stood and -waited to hear the bells of Shandon that sound so grand on the -pleasant waters of the river Lee. I had left the Lee to the fishermen -and the make-believe swimmers, but the bells would sound sweetly here -under the tower that held them. - -A minute passed, and then another, and then I heard music--music that -called forth old memories of days long since dead. How it pealed out -its delight on the (icy) air of night. And how well I knew the tune: - - "Down where the Wurzburger flows." - -No, it was not the chimes, but a nurse in the hospital at a piano. -Before she had finished, Shandon bells began, but they played what did -not blend with what she sang, and I went on my way thinking on the -potency of music. - -I passed on down where the river Lee flowed, and the fishermen were -still fishing, but the little boys had tired of swimming. - -Two signs met me at nearly every corner. One read, "James J. Murphy & -Co.," and the other "Beamish & Crawford," or "Crawford & Beamish," I -forget which. Both marked the places of publicans (and sinners, I -doubt not), and both were brewers' names. The publican's own name -never appeared, but these names were omnipresent. - -Again I thought of Shandon bells, and the romantic song, "Down Where -the Wurzburger Flows," and leaving the Lee still flowing I sought my -hotel. - -I would like to make a revolutionary statement, that is more often -thought than uttered, but before I make it, I would like to say that -there are two classes of travelers: those who think there is nothing -in Europe that compares with similar things in America, and those who -think there is nothing in America that can hold a candle to similar -things in Europe. - -I hope I belong to neither class. If I mistake not, I am a Pharisee, -and thank my stars that I am not as other men are. Most of us are -Pharisees, but few will admit it. - -I began being a Pharisee when I was a small child, and that is the -time that most people begin. - -I kept it up. In this, I am--like the multitude. - -Having thus stated my position, let me go on to say, that I am -perfectly willing to admit that this or that bit of scenery in France, -or Switzerland, or England, or Ireland, lays over anything of the sort -I ever saw in America, if I think it does, and I am equally willing to -say, that America has almost unknown bits that are far better than -admired and poet-ridden places in Europe. - -Twin Lakes in Connecticut is one of them, and Killarney is a -poet-ridden place. - -Why, even in Ireland there are places just as lovely as Killarney, but -they have not been written up, and so no one goes to visit them. - -I felt that one of the worst things about Killarney was the American -sightseer, and I came away soon. - -Cook's tourists have never heard of Twin Lakes, thank fortune, and it -will be some time before they (the lakes) are spoiled. - -The Lakes of Killarney are so beautiful that they are worthy of the -pen of a poet, but the pen of a poet does not make any lake more -beautiful, and I am quarreling because so many people refuse to -believe the evidence of their own senses, and take their natural -beauties at the say so of another. - -There is a tower going up in New York at present, a tower that with -the exception of the Eiffel Tower is the tallest on earth. - -Many persons look at it, reflect that it is a skyscraper, and then -dismiss it as therefore hideous. But it is really very beautiful, and -seen from certain vantage points, it is architecturally one of the -glories of New York. - -[Illustration: A BIT OF KILLARNEY] - -If it ever gains a reputation for beauty, you will find persons raving -over it, who to-day class it among the "hideous skyscrapers." - -A hundred years ago there were some skyscrapers in Switzerland, and -they were thought to be hideous. After awhile a man with a poet's eyes -and a courageous tongue visited them, and he said "The Alps are -beautiful." - -When their reputation for beauty was established, travelers left the -region round about the Rockies to go and rave over the beauties of -Switzerland. - -That's all. - - - - -CHAPTER IX - -_A Visit to Mount Mellaray_ - - -Many persons whom I met in Ireland told me that I ought to go to Mount -Mellaray "for my sins." Mount Mellaray (to those who don't know) is a -Trappist monastery, set among hills that would be at once the -temptation and despair of a colorist in landscape. - -To it go the brain and heart weary from all countries, and the good -monks (there's no doubt that they are good) welcome them whether they -have money or not. - -They tell of a man who went to Mount Mellaray and accepted the -hospitality of the inmates and on his going away he did no more than -bid them good by. Not a penny did he leave behind him, although he -had sat at table with the other guests several days. - -Next year he came again for his soul's rest, and the monks received -him as an old friend. Those who were not under vows of silence spoke -to him, the others nodded to him, and once more he rested on the side -of the purple hills and partook of their hospitality. - -When it came time for him to go away he left behind him--a pleasant -impression, but not a cent did he give to the cause of charity. - -Another year passed by, and he came again. Hundreds had come in the -meantime, and none so poor but had left something in return for the -restfulness and peace that are to be had there. - -Quite as an old friend he was now received and was made to feel -welcome. No one knew who he was--perhaps he was nobody--but on his -going away for the third time he showed that he had been but _acting_ -the part of an ingrate, for he gave the father who acts as keeper of -the gate a hundred pounds. - -This story I told to the jarvey who took me up the hilly road to the -monastery, and he listened with interest, and when I had finished he -said, "It's quite true." - -As I did not expect to visit it again I made up my mind to do my -giving on leaving the place, but my hundred pound notes are all in the -future, and therefore no one can ever tell a similar tale of me. - -I must confess that, being a Protestant, I felt a little compunction -about going to the place, but I had been assured that my sect would -make no difference, that the fathers were glad to receive all who -came, and that I would be as well treated as though I were a saint. - -On my way up my jarvey told me of the amount of good that the monks -do, not only in a spiritual, but in a material way, by providing work -for the able-bodied men of the vicinity. - -We passed a neat stone cottage with ivy growing on it, and a vigorous -fuchsia tree blooming in the garden, and he told me that it was a -government cottage and rented for the absurd sum of a shilling a week. - -"And how much can a man earn in the fields?" said I. - -"A matter of ten shillings a week," was his reply. - -Query: If a man gets ten dollars a week in New York and lives in a -crowded Harlem flat for which he pays at least five dollars a week, is -he as well off as this Irishman, in his native land, with all the -fresh air in the world, fowls and fresh eggs, and butter of his wife's -making, and one of the loveliest views imaginable before him? - -But you'll find the man in the neat little government cottage anxious -to fly to the land of dollars--and when he's there he'll hand out more -dollars to his landlord for inadequate accommodations than he could -earn at home in a month of Sundays. - -Human nature is human nature, and the daisies in the field over the -pond are always more beautiful than the ones that lie at your feet. - -I was received at the monastery by a monk, who on learning that I -wished to become a guest, took me over to the guest house, and there a -white-robed father took my surname, and I began to feel that I had -renounced the world, and that perhaps I was trying something that I -would regret, and wouldn't mamma come and get me. - -But the bearded man before me was kindly, and when I told him (not -wishing to sail under false colors) that I was a Protestant, he told -me that it was a fast day, and had I dined. - -Fortunately I had eaten heartily at noon. "If ye have not dined we can -give you something substantial," said he, but I decided that it would -be better to be treated as the other guests were to be treated, and so -I told him, and he said that at six o'clock there would be tea, and -that at eight I would retire to my room, and at ten all lights must be -out. - -It was raining dismally, but he said that I could go for a walk in the -garden, or stay in my room, or go to the "smoke shed," to smoke a pipe -or a cigar. - -I chose the smoke shed as I understood there were other human beings -there, and although I had only been in the monastery five minutes, I -felt the need of companionship. - -After a brother had taken my traps to my room, I went out to the smoke -shed, and found there some ten or twelve guests, five or six of them -priests, and all Catholics but myself. - -They were very quiet as I came up, and I feared to speak above a -whisper myself, but a jolly-looking priest, seeing a newspaper -sticking out of my raincoat pocket, said: "Is that to-day's paper?" -and on my saying it was, he asked me if he might borrow it, and then -he stood up in front of them all and said: - -"The news of the day.... 'Irish Ireland. A Leaguer's Point of View.' -'The French Trunk Horror.' 'The Bachelor Tax,' discussed by Mr. -Dooley." - -"Rade that, father," said a young chap with a twinkling eye. - -"Sure it's in dialect," said the priest with a smile, and his own -brogue. - -"Never mind. Go ahead. 'Tis a dreary day." - -The paper was the Dublin Independent, and in a moment more I was -listening to the familiar humor of the funniest man in America, and -that in a monastery, of all places. - -"'This here pa-aper says,' said Mr. Hennessy, 'that they're goin' to -put a tax on bachelors. That's r-right. Why shudden't there be a tax -on bachelors? There's one on dogs.'" - -Loud was the laughter in the smoke shed at this sally, and none -laughed louder than those professional bachelors, the priests. - -[Illustration: STREET IN YOUGHAL] - -"'I suppose,' said Mr. Dooley, 'that next year ye expect to see me -throttin' around with a leather collar an' a brass tag on me neck. If -me tax isn't paid th' bachelor wagon'll come around, an' th' bachelor -catcher'll lasso me an' take me to the pound, an' I'll be kept there -three days, an' thin, if still unclaimed, I'll be dhrowned, onless th' -pound keeper takes a fancy to me.'" (Loud laughter by priests and -laymen.) - -The ice thus broken by my friend Dunne, I was soon in conversation -with the group, and discovered two compatriots from Indiana, one a -native of Ireland returning to visit it once more before he departed, -the other his son. - -Vesper bells broke up the talk, and I went with the rest to chapel. - -After vespers came "tea," which I had supposed would be literally -nothing else, but there was the most delicious graham bread I have had -since I came to Ireland, and unlimited milk. There was no butter, as -it was a fast day. This I regretted keenly. - -Talk went on among us all until a bearded monk in white came in and -began to read passages from Thomas à Kempis. His enunciation was -peculiarly pure, and I doubt not that he was a gentleman born. It was -a pleasure to hear such English. While he read we were all silent. - -After supper we went out to the garden, and in a sheltered place -(although we did not need a shelter, as the fickle rain had stopped) -those who wished played a spirited game that consisted of tossing -stones into a little pocket of earth. One of the priests was an adept, -and he carried all before him. - -In such simple pleasures, or in walking, the evening was spent until -it came time to go to chapel again. - -One of my companions (and they were there from all parts of Ireland, -and you might hear the Scotch accent of the north, the pure Dublin and -Wicklow Elizabethan English, the slightly thickened Waterford -variety, and the hurried talk of the Corkonian, as well as other -styles I could not place--probably west coast dialects, mournful and -slow) asked me what I thought of Ireland, and I told him my -impressions had been tremendously favorable so far. He said that a man -who had returned not long since told him that Ireland was hopelessly -behind the times, and I told him, for his comfort, that to take one -instance in which Ireland was up to date, the tram service in Dublin -was far ahead of that of New York, both in the elegance of its rolling -stock, its cheapness, and the civility of its employes. He was much -amused at the idea of horse cars in New York. (Electric cars play an -important part in all the large Irish cities, and a ride on the top of -one to Howth, a lovely suburb of Dublin, is worth every bit of the -eight cents it costs). - -They have yet to introduce the transfer system, but in other -particulars, like Mr. O'Reilly, "they're doin' dam' well." All this I -told him. - -At eight I sought my room, where there was reading matter suitable to -the place, but the candle was not conducive to extended reading unless -I held it close to the book, and then it dazzled me, and at nine -o'clock I was in my bed, and until two in the morning the house was -quiet, save for a snore here and there. But at two the bells began to -ring, and kept it up at intervals all through the night. I was told -this, but "tired nature's sweet restorer, balmy sleep," came to my -aid, and I dreamed it was a feast day and that all the monks were -sitting at the breakfast table, singing at each other joyfully. - -Next day was a feast day (to my relief). I was up at six, but it was -some time after that that I heard steps in the hall. I had looked out -of the window from time to time, hoping to see some one in the garden. -The table of the duties of the day hung in my room, and I noticed -that breakfast was at nine. Luckily I had some chocolate, or I might -have felt I was likely to faint by the wayside. - -I did not go to early devotion, and when I heard the footsteps in the -hall I opened my door and found that it was Father David, the keeper -of the gate, going around to see if any were still in bed. When he saw -me, he said to the brother who accompanied him, "Oh, it doesn't make -any difference with him." Then to me, "Would you like to walk in the -garden?" I said that I would, and walked round and round its lonely -paths for over an hour, now and then eating a square of chocolate to -keep off death. - -But before eight the good father came and asked me if I'd like to see -the interior of the monastery, and he showed me the bakeshop with its -most up to date ovens, and oh, how hungry the smell of baking made me, -and the steam-saw, and the creamery, and the library with its old -newspaper telling to Irishmen that Cromwell had departed to his rest -the day before. Not very sorrowful news, that, I imagine, to the -Irishman of that day. - -And Father David showed me and the other Americans an incubator, and -explained the process, with an innocent circumstantiality that we -respected. Why tell him that the woods were full of incubators in -America? The things that appealed most to him, however, was the big -circular saw that would saw up a log of wood in a "minyit." - -With his permission I took a photograph of a beautiful Irish cross in -the graveyard, but when I suggested my taking him, he averted his -palms at me. Such vanities were not for him. - -At breakfast there were eggs and milk and tea, and delicious butter in -abundance, and the reading of some holy book by Father David, which -did not stop all conversation. Being a feast day, there was one priest -who felt his tongue could be loosened, and he kept up an undercurrent -of conversation, to Father David's annoyance, but it was a human touch -that was not out of place. - -The monks are themselves vegetarians, but a school is run in -connection with the monastery, and the students are allowed meats. - -At nine my jarvey called for me and took me to the boat for Youghal, -and I made my offering and shook hands with Father David, and felt -that I had been benefited by my stay in the retreat. I even felt that -had I more time at my disposal, I would stay on for several days, -talking with the guests, pitching stones into the hole, and looking at -the rolling landscape and the awe-inspiring hills behind the chapel -spire. - -One thing in America had interested Father David--the Thaw trial--and -he wanted to know if Thaw would be hanged. - -One day the only American news in the 'Derry papers was to the effect -that Evelyn Thaw thought of going on the stage. - -Not our art, or our literature, or our suppression of the boss, but -the Thaw trial, is the thing that has made a deep impress on Great -Britain and Ireland, and everywhere I am asked to give an opinion. - -The Thaw trial was a matter of moment to the good old man, with his -incubators and his steam saw and his absence of personal vanity. - -As half way down the mountain I turned and looked back at the spire -against the somber hills (for it had begun to rain) I wished that my -camera would take them for me, but I knew that snapshots of hills are -like literary snapshots--inadequate. - - - - -CHAPTER X - -_A Dinner I Didn't Have_ - - -The best laid schemes of mice and men aft gang aglee, or words to that -effect, and in a small village in County Wicklow I fared differently -from what had been my expectation. - -I had a letter to a literary man of whom I had heard nothing but -pleasant words, and I looked forward to spending several hours with -him. - -I had dispatched my letter of introduction to him over night, -intending to perch on his door sill during a flight from Dublin -further south: Waterford and Cork. - -The day was beautiful (whenever the clouds rolled away from before the -sun) and as I left my grips in the station and fared forth I imagined -how pleasantly we would talk together on matters and things, how soon -we would find we had mutual friends, how possible it was that one or -the other of us would commit the bromide of "It's a small world after -all, isn't it?" - -It was a long time before the dinner hour, but if he invited me to -stay on and dine I would certainly do it. Tasteful napery, handsome -women, light and joyous talk, delicate viands and sparkling wines-- - -"Plaze, sorr, would ye help a poor man to's dinner. I've walked from -Ovoca the day an' devil a bit or a sup is in me." - -A beggar! - -The idea of a man who never saw me before asking me and evidently -expecting me to help him to a dinner. - -But of course when you meet a fellow out in the country away from -professional beggars you naturally feel like helping him, particularly -if the Irish weather is so fine that it hasn't rained for a quarter of -an hour-- - -[Illustration: THATCHED COTTAGE, WICKLOW] - -"Oh, thank ye, sorr. May your bed in heaven be aisy an' may ye -oversleep on the day of judgment." - -A kind wish. - -As I walked on I couldn't help thinking how similar was his case to my -own. In all probability he had the price of a meal in his pocket when -he met me and I too had the price of several meals in my pocket and -even as he had "braced" a total stranger, so I was about to do the -same thing, only I expected intellectual talk, a dinner, possibly a -drive around the country, and when all was said and done I wouldn't be -able for my _quid pro quo_ to call down such a blessing as he had -given me. - -At last I came to the lodge of Heatherdale and asked if Mr. W---- was -in. - -He was not. He had gone by an early train to Dublin and would not be -back until seven. - -Oh, such a noise of falling air castles. - -My letter had been to him, not to his wife. - -I could not, or at least I felt that I could not present my card to -her and explain that I was very much disappointed, and would Mrs. -W---- kindly entertain me with intellectual talk and food and drink. - -I turned sadly away and put on my raincoat (for it had begun to rain -dismally as soon as the lodgekeeper had told me Mr. W---- was out) and -made my way back to the station, intending to take the next train. - -The urbane station master, resplendent in a gay new uniform, told me -kindly but firmly that there was no train until seven o'clock, that -that train did not go as far as Waterford, only to Wexford, and that -my through ticket to Waterford was good for this day only and would be -waste cardboard when the morning dawned, and I took the first train -from Wexford there. - -That meant the price of an excellent dinner thrown away---- - -An excellent dinner. It was twelve o'clock; time to begin to think of -a dinner of some kind. - -No (said the station master) there was no hotel in the place. I might -get something at some farmhouse, but no dinner anywhere. - -And Mr. W---- in Dublin for the day. What good had the tramp's -blessing done me? - -I left the station and walked toward the village. At last I came to a -"public" and there I found my tramp drinking porter with gusto--but -nothing else. His hunger had evidently departed. Perhaps the same -thing that had put it to flight would allay mine. - -But the first incivility that I have received since I came to Ireland -was offered me here. The proprietress of the public laughed at me and -said that they had nothing but bread in the house--and she evidently -did not care to part with that. - -"There's a good hotel at Rathdrum, sorr," said the tramp to me. "It's -not five miles away an' the road light as a feather, barrin' the -mud." - -I had no notion of going five miles on the light road on the light -breakfast I had eaten--and no certainty that there would be a dinner -at Rathdrum, so I left the public, and the rain having stopped and the -sunshine having come out with a most businesslike air, as much as to -say, "See here, you clouds have been running things altogether too -much lately; it's now my turn at the wheel," I set out as blithely as -I could (with the thought of my letter of introduction crossing Mr. -W---- on his way to town and me a homeless wanderer) and before long I -came to a little whitewashed cabin in front of which a handsome old -woman in a man's cap was bending over some flowers. - -"Good morning. Can you let me have something to eat?" - -"Sure 'tis little I have," said she, with a smile that took five years -off her age. - -"Some fresh eggs, perhaps, or some milk?" - -"Aye, I can give ye those, but me house is no place for the likes----" - -"That'll be just what I want," said I, and she went into the house and -bade me follow. - -Fresh eggs and unlimited milk are not the same as brill and young lamb -and sauterne and cigars and witty conversation, but when you are -hungry from outdoor exercise they are not so bad. - -And Mrs. Kelly, like every other man, woman, and child in the whole of -Ireland, had relatives in America. - -She'd a son there long since and Ja-mes just turned twenty-one had -gone there this summer to the "states of Indiana. Did I know the -states of Indiana?" - -I told her I did, that I'd been to them many a time. And where did -"Ja-mes go to--to what city?" - -To Lafayette (with as French an accent as you'd wish) and was I ever -there? - -I was. Her face lighted up. - -If I went there again would I ask for Ja-mes Kelly an' he'd be her son -an' as fine a boy as ever left Ireland (with a true Dublin roll of the -r). - -Still thinking of the dinner I had not had at Heatherdale house I -asked her if she knew Mr. W----. - -"Sure I do, an' the finest man in all Ireland. Me boy Ja-mes worked -there at gardening and whin he was leaving for America Mr. W---- gave -a dinner for him to all the villagers and gave him a watch with his -name on it and 'in remimbrance of Heatherdale' in it. Oh, yes, a fine -man an' humble. Sure, if Jimmy'd be sick for a day it's Mr. W---- -would be down here in me cottage askin' afther him an' could he be -doing annything for him. - -"Humbleness. That what the blissed Lord taught us. He could have been -borrn in a palace, but he was borrn in a stable in Bethleh_a_m. Are -you a Catholic?" - -"No--" - -"Ah, never mind. There's arl kinds of good people----" - -"Is Mr. W---- a Protestant?" - -"Sure, I dunno," was Mrs. Kelly's guarded reply. "He goes to the -Protestant church, but I don't know what he is, on'y he's a good -man--none better in all Ireland. - -"The good Lord," she continued, as she filled up my cup with rich milk -(she had no tumblers at all, she said), "taught us to be kind to one -another and to be humble, the same as He was kind and humble, although -He could have had a palace if He'd chosen, and if we keep His -commandments we'll all go to heaven, but if we don't (here the good -Mrs. Kelly lowered her voice) we'll be damned in everlasting fire. The -Lord tells us so." - -I told her that I had heard such things, that I had a grandmother who -taught me all about "Bethleh_a_m" and the rest---- - -"Oh, the good woman," said Mrs. Kelly, feelingly. "Well, it's true. -Be kind and be good and be humble and ye'll be rewarrded." - -After I had finished the lunch she asked me if I could take a picture -of her. - -I told her that I could, but she must come out of doors. Off came her -man's cap and she arranged her wisps of white hair and washed her face -and then said, "Be sure to get me eyes good and clear. I do take a -fairly (very) good picture, and me eyes always come out fine." - -The good woman had eyes she might well be proud of in spite of her -desire to be humble, and they danced and snapped with joy as I leveled -the camera at her and took her photograph. - -All the afternoon I climbed the beautiful heather purpled hills in the -vicinity with her youngest son, a boy of nineteen, eating wild -fraochans, a kind of whortle-berry, and had "afternoon tea" with her -at six and then went on to catch my train. - -The son was a very intelligent boy and I was struck with his easy and -correct use of English. He told me that it was easier to understand me -than an Englishman, and I took it as a compliment, for I certainly -never heard better English spoken than is talked in the Dublin -district by rich and poor alike. London and New York should come to -Dublin and vicinity to learn the proper pronunciation of English. - -[Illustration: WICKLOW PEASANTS] - -As I left the village I felt that I had lost one good time to have -another, and the day on the hills made me sleep like a top. - - - - -CHAPTER XI - -_What Ireland Wants_ - - -Before I went to Ireland I imagined the Irish standing in a crowd with -their right hands pointing to heaven and all of them demanding home -rule. But talk about shades of opinion and political differences at -home, why, it's nothing to the mixture here. - -I meet a man to-day and as I shake his hand I tell him with heartfelt -sympathy that I hope he'll get home rule, that most of us are with him -in the United States, and he wrings my hand and tells me that American -sympathy is the thing that has kept Ireland up. - -My bosom swells with pride and I feel that I have hit on just the -right phrase to use. - -Next day I meet another Irishman, a Protestant from Belfast, and as I -wring his hand with emotional fervor, I tell him that I hope he'll get -home rule, and he pulls his hand from my grasp to bring it down on -desk or counter or table with impetuosity, as he says, "Ireland -doesn't want home rule. If the phrase had never been coined Ireland -would be happy to-day. What Ireland wants is less sympathy from -outsiders. If my child bumps his head and begins to cry, I say, 'Sure -it's nothing. Brave boys like to bump their heads,' and he begins to -laugh and forgets about it. But if a stranger says, 'Poor Patsy. It -must hurt awfully,' then he sets up a howl about it and fancies he's -injured. What Ireland needs is to forget her troubles and her -political disabilities and work. An Irish workingman in Ireland is the -laziest man alive. When he goes to America or Canada or Australia and -is released from priestly authority he's a hard worker and a success, -but Paddy in the fields is always looking for saints' days--and -finding them--and when he finds them he takes a holiday." - -I am silent because I really know so little about it, but next day I -meet another Protestant and I say to him, "I suppose it's Rome rule -that is killing Ireland?" - -He's up in the air at once and tells me that it is the priests who are -interesting the peasants in the revival of industries long dormant. - -"Aren't the priests fine-looking men?" says he. - -"Yes," breaks in another Irishman, "and they ought to be the fathers -of families. All that good blood going to waste and their lines ending -with them instead of enriching the blood of Ireland in future -generations. That's what celibacy does." - -Another Irishman chimes in, "Oh, the priests are not such a fine lot. -The constabulary are, I'll admit, but the most of them are as useless -as the priests. Most of their time is spent training canaries, for -there's little else for them to do in the country districts. But the -priests; sure a man says, 'Oh, Jimmy's no good at all at all. Let's -make a priest of him.'" - -"It's folly you're talking," says the one who spoke for the priests. -"There's not a finer body of men in Ireland than the priests." - -"Oh," says the other, with Irish wit, "there's white sheep in every -fold, I'll admit, but if Ireland was free from political and religious -domination, she'd be able to stand upright and she wouldn't need home -rule." - -All of which is very perplexing to the man who came to Ireland -thinking that with the exception of a few Orangemen all Ireland was -working morning, noon, and night for home rule. - -Next day I meet a man I know to be a Protestant and I say to him in my -easy-going way (being all things to all men when I am traveling, in -order to save wear and tear), "The Catholic religion is keeping -Ireland back, is it not?" - -He looks at me for a moment and then a spiritual light illumines his -eyes and he says: "Protestantism is always death to arts. Look at -Shakespeare, the last Catholic that England had, as you might say, and -look at his work with its artistry, its absence of dogmatism, and then -look at Protestant and tiresome Wordsworth and Protestant and didactic -Tennyson. Spenser was a great artist. Spenser was a Catholic. -Catholicism emancipates the artistic side of a man's nature, -puritanism seals it up, dams it, condemns him to preach sermons. - -"The Irish are the most artistic people on the face of the earth when -Protestantism has not been allowed to stamp their idealism out of -them." - -"But I thought you were a Protestant. Then I suppose that you think -that the priests----" - -"I think that the priests ought never to be allowed to tamper with -education. Spiritually they release Irishmen from puritan fetters (I -speak as a Protestant and the son of a Protestant) but politically and -educationally they are millstones about Ireland's neck." - -I leave him and going to Hibernia Hall in Dublin, where the work of -Irish industries is being displayed, and where stands temporarily St. -Gaudens's splendid statue of Parnell, and I see there Augustine -Birrell, whom I believe to be one of Ireland's warmest and truest -friends. - -I am talking to a handsome six-foot priest. - -"Ah, there's Birrell," I say to him. - -"Yes," says he with a twinkle in his Irish eyes, "'twould be a fine -chance to drop a little dynamite under him." - -I leave the hall hurriedly and listen outside for the explosion, -meanwhile wondering why a priest who wants home rule hates Birrell, -who has tried to give Ireland a modified version of it. - -I meet a literary Catholic and ask him whether home rule would mean -Rome rule and he tells me that it would not; that the Catholics would -not stand for priestly interference with politics; that the priests -themselves would not desire to interfere. - -Next day I ask a jarvey if he wants home rule and he says, "Begorry, -higher wages would be better. I'd not be botherin' with home rule if -there was enough to keep me sons busy." - -"Well, Michael, would home rule mean Rome rule?" - -"Sure it would. Isn't the pope the head of the church?" - -Ireland seems to be a house divided against itself. - -I like the father of the family very much. We'll say he comes from the -south of Ireland and is a Catholic. He's a witty man, a hospitable -man, a cheery man, but won't speak to his oldest son, because he's a -Belfast Unionist and believes in letting well enough alone. - -[Illustration: LOST IN HIS LUNCH, MALLOW, COUNTY KERRY] - -Now the eldest son is a delightful fellow. A little more reserved than -his southern father, but just as hospitable, just as cheery--almost as -witty. The mother is a Sinn Feiner, an idealist of the idealists. She -believes that Irishmen ought to withdraw from Parliament. She urges -her son, who is in Parliament, to resign, to boycott England, to get -his brother members of Parliament to come home and form a National -Council in Dublin. She doesn't believe in war, but she hates England -with an animosity that is positively amusing to one whose forbears -fought England and had done with the fight long ago. She won't speak -to her daughter, who believes in working for home rule in season and -out of season in London. - -The mother is witty and cheery, and, oh, so hospitable, but when I -visit the daughter I don't mention the old lady to her, for in spite -of the ingrained love for parents that is almost as strong in an -Irishman as it is in a Chinaman, she says very sharp things about her -unpractical mother. But when we leave politics alone, she is cheery -and witty, and always as hospitable as she can be. - -Now, if by means of arousing a truly national spirit (and the Gaelic -League is going about it in the right way) this family of witty and -cheery and hospitable people can be induced to sink minor differences -and act together they'll get what they want--whatever that is. And -then won't they be the happy family? - -And I'm sure I do hope with all my heart that they'll get it. - -For they won't be happy till they get it. - - - - -CHAPTER XII - -_A Hunt for Irish Fairies_ - - -"I'll niver forget wan gintleman that kem here from America. He'd been -borrn here, but had gone to Chicago whin he was a lad, an' he had made -a fortune. - -"He had hundreds under him, an' he told me he had niver touched a drop -of liquor. Oh, he was the kind man. He hired me car every day he was -here, an' he said anny time I wanted to sind anny of me sons over, to -sind them to him an' he'd take them on an' pay them good wages. - -"Oh, he was the ginerous man, too ginerous in fact. He'd scatter his -money like water whin he'd be in liquor----" - -"Why, I thought you said he never touched a drop, Michael." - -"Oh," with a toss of the head. "Sure that was in America. Bein' on a -holiday here he tasted it, an' likin' the taste he kep' on. - -"Sure he'd fling money out be the handfuls if I'd let him. I told him -if he done that the news of it would spread an' some of the wilder -ones would demand it of him, an' wance I refused to go anny further -till he'd promise to stop throwin' money away--half soverigns, mind -ye. - -"Ah, but he was the kind man, drunk or sober. The day before he -left--an' he was here two or three weeks huntin' for his -birthplace--he said: - -"'Michael, I've drank too much, but it tasted good. After to-day not a -drop I touch, an' me goin' back to America.' - -"Sure, I hope he didn't, for he had a fine business of manufactures of -some sort, an' he says: - -"'Sind them along, Mike, when they does be old enough an' I'll give -them good jobs. Only they must l'ave liquor alone.' - -"Ah, a kind man he was an' a true American. Wance I met Larrd -Kinmare, an' I took off me hat to him. 'Who's that?' says he. 'Larrd -Kinmare,' says I. 'Why do you take off your hat to him?' says he; -'he's only a man like yourself.' I'll never forget that. Only a man -like meself." - -I asked this same jarvey if he would like to see home rule. - -"Sure, better wages would be better." - -There are many like him in Ireland, men of the practical kind, who -would rather see prosperity than home rule, and who evidently do not -believe the two are synonymous terms. - -Perhaps a little more of this jarvey's talk will not be uninteresting. - -"What do you think of King Edward, Michael?" - -He looked at me seriously. "He's not had a thri'l yit, but he seems a -nice man. When he was Prince of Wales he was here to visit with his -mother, the Queen of England, and he wint to a nunnery, an' him a -Protestant, an' he kep' his hat off his head all the time he was in. -An' him a Protestant, mind you. He seems a nice man, but he hasn't had -a thri'l yit." - -There's simplicity for you. One need not have the acknowledged tact of -the best king in Europe to keep off his hat in a nunnery, but Michael -had treasured the anecdote forty years as the measure of a ruler's -merit. - -But I am treading on dangerous ground and it would be better to -venture on fairy ground. - -One needs to live long among the Irish peasants to get at their -folklore. They are invariably agreeable to strangers, as Michael has -shown himself to have been to me, and are more than willing to talk -about America and the sorrows of Ireland, but if the subject of fairy -folk is broached they seem to be anxious to change the subject. - -I was fortunate enough to get a little insight into their beliefs, but -before I touch on the topic I would like to scatter a few thoughts on -the subject of Irish wit. - -Here I have set down a conversation of a typical Irishman, but you -will notice that there is nothing witty in what he says. In books he -is witty, and in Scotland the Scotchman is witty, as I had occasion to -notice many times last year when I was there, but in Ireland (I record -personal impression) the Irishman is not witty, as I met him in the -peasant class. - -I have conversed with dozens and scarcely a witty reply have I had. -Humor often, but wit seldom. I sometimes think that it is because I -have used the wrong tactics. Perhaps if I had bantered them they would -have retaliated. - -I fancy that their reputation for wit is largely of English -manufacture, and that the Englishman calls it forth by his undoubted -feeling of superiority. The wit is at his expense. - -We were passing a little opening in the woods the day I rode with -Michael and I said to him: - -"That would be a fine place for fairies." - -He quickly turned his head and looked at me. - -"So it would," said he, "but they're all gone now. Whin I was a boy -the old folks did be talkin' of them, but there's none of them now." - -"I suppose so," said I sympathetically, "but a friend of mine in -Connecticut, an Irishman, told me he'd been led by them into a bog -with their false lights." - -"Oh," said Michael, quick as a wink, "so have I. They'd lade you to -folly the light, an' the first thing ye'd know ye'd be up to your -waist in a bog. But there's none of them hereabouts now." - -And that ended Michael's remarks about fairies. And that was further -than most of them would go until I met an old woman on the west coast. -She, after I had gained her confidence, talked quite freely. - -I asked her if she had ever seen any of the red leprechauns (I am not -sure of the spelling) that are so mischievous to housewives and are -so fond of cream, and while she had not seen any herself a friend of -hers had seen two of them. - -"Wan had a red cap on an' the other was dressed all in green and they -was wrestlin' in a field. - -"An wance I looked out of the winder," she had grown absorbed in her -own talk now--"an' I saw over there on the mountain side a fair green -field that never was there before"--the mountain was bald and rocky -and bleak--"an' in it was a lot of young lads and gerruls, all dressed -gayly, the lads and the gerruls walking like this"--illustrating by -undulatory motions--"and full of happiness. - -"Oh, yes; I've seen the little folk, but I don't mind them at all. The -sight of them comes to me when I'd not be thinking of it, and it's -little I care." - -She tossed her head in evident superiority, perhaps feeling that I -might think it folly for a woman as old as she to see things so out -of the ken of an ordinary mortal. But I showed an interest that was -perfectly genuine, and she went further into her revelations. - -"Wance I was lookin' out of this same winder, an' a queen of the air -came out of the heavens ridin' on a cloud. Oh, she was the most -beautifully made woman I ever saw, with a stride on her like a queen. - -"She had a short skirt on her, and her calves were lovely, and around -her waist was a sash with a loose knot in it for a dagger, an' the -dagger raised in her right hand--an' a crown upon her head." - -"And did she look angry?" - -"Indeed she didn't. A beautiful face she had, an' she come straight -for this winder, an' when she was almost before it I put up my hands -to my eyes, for I thought that if she was coming out of the other -space and I was the first she met here she might do harm to me, and -'twas well not to look at her--and when I opened my eyes again she was -gone. - -[Illustration: A SIDE STREET, WEXFORD] - -"Oh, never will I see so finely made a woman again; the calves of her -beautiful legs, and the arm raised high above her head like a queen." - -Margaret stood looking out of the window at the mountain opposite, and -I said nothing for fear she would stop talking. After a few moments -she went on: - -"Wan day I saw an elephant over on the mountain side an' him filling -his trunk, with water for a long journey--Oh, it's manny the thing I -see, but I don't mind if I never see them, only they come to me." - -Filling one's trunk with water for a long journey would not appeal to -a drummer, but this flippant thought I did not extend to Margaret. -Perhaps she would not have understood, as drummers are bagmen on the -other side. That is they are bagmen in books. In hotels they are -commercial men. - -Margaret was not yet through telling me the things she had seen. I was -told that there were some people that she would not talk to on occult -subjects, fearing their badinage, but her sincerity was so evident -that I could not have joked with her on the subject if I had thought -of doing so. - -"Wance I saw the present King Edward, an' him about to be crowned, an' -he was in the heavens lying on a bed, and his wife standing near, -dressed in a dress with short sleeves an' point lace on them, an' I -said to me master,"--Margaret was living in service,--"'Sure he'll not -be crowned this time.' - -"An' that very evening the news came that the King was ill, and he was -not crowned that time at all. An' the pitchers in the papers afterward -showed the Queen in point lace as I had seen her." - -Afterward I talked to the gentleman for whom this ancient woman kept -house, and he said there was no end to the queer things she had seen. -He told me that once she saw in "the heavens" a funeral cortége -issuing from a smallish house, with big black horses, plumed and -draped, and drawing a hearse, and in it either the pope or the queen. - -"Some one high up," Margaret said. - -That evening came the news of the death of Queen Victoria. - -Of course this is "merely" second sight, but if you don't believe in -such things you don't feel like scoffing when people see visions that -come true. - -I was unfortunate enough not to meet a Galway woman, an ignorant -peasant, who saw a vision that shaped itself around a ruined castle. - -She said to my informant (one of the leaders in the Gaelic revival) -that while she was looking at the castle one day a band of young -gentlemen on horseback and strangely dressed came riding up to the -castle, and in the windows of it were many handsome women, gayly -dressed and with their hair brushed up from their foreheads, and they -were laughing and talking. - -And when the young horsemen came to the ditch that was around the -castle a platform that was laid against the wall was let down by -chains, and over the bridge thus made the gay young men rode and -joined the chattering ladies. - -This was a woman who would not have heard of moats and drawbridges, -and but little of the castle remained save the four walls. She had -seen a vision, so my informant, a woman of forceful intellect, told -me--and I believed it then, and half believe it now. If one has -visions why not see them? I wish I might myself. - -But it is very hard for the traveler to get at these revelations. The -natives are shy of strangers, who like as not do not believe in -fairies--never having seen Tinker Bell--and they will not talk. - -But for my part I hope the time will come when it will be proved -beyond a doubt that there are fairies, and if the revelation ever does -manifest itself at all, doubting Thomases and the rest, I am sure -that their habitat will prove to be Ireland. - -And when they are proved to exist, remember that I said I believed in -them. - - - - -CHAPTER XIII - -_In Galway with a Camera_ - - -Galway comes as near as any Irish city that I ever saw to rivaling New -York's East Side for dirtiness, and yet a fair-minded observer would -be compelled to tell Galway, when the time for awarding the leather -medal came, that she was only a close second. - -This does not so much mean that New York is dirtier than I realized -she was when I was there as it means that Ireland is not as dirty as -English and Irish and American writers have pictured it. - -Perhaps in some parts of Ireland the pig still sleeps in the room with -the family, but as a faithful chronicler of actual sights I cannot say -that I saw such a sight in any of the numerous slums and villages I -visited in twenty counties. I hate to destroy so poetic an illusion. - -[Illustration: PICTURESQUE GALWAY] - -There was something idyllic in the thought of a pink little pig and a -pink little boy, the two of them the pink of neatness, lying side by -side in a happy-hearted Irishman's cabin, while pig and boy and -Irishman starved to death, but the truth was something better than -that. There were pigs and little boys, but they were not neatly pink -and they were not starving, and the old man did not swing a shillelagh -or sing songs as I was passing by. - -Shillelaghs were never so plentiful as they are now, but they are made -to supply the foreign demand for them, and the Irishman is amused and -perhaps a bit contemptuous as he sees Americans, with never a drop of -Irish blood in them, buying shillelaghs to take home for the sake of -sentiment. - -I wish I might write that I saw evidences of destitution on every -side--it would please the sentimentalists--but I did not. There were -beggars, but not so many as I had feared I would see, and they did not -chase me any harder than youngsters have chased me in City Hall Park -in New York demanding a cent to buy sterilized milk. - -In Sligo I was followed by a poor woman carrying a baby, and as she -raised her hand for alms her shawl dropped off and disclosed her -nakedness to the waist, but I was assured by a Sligo gentleman that -she was a professional beggar from out of town, and that possibly the -baby was not hers, and I know for a fact that she went to a public -house with the money I gave her. - -And all the time I was fumbling in my pocket for coppers she was -wishing me happy days. She stands out in my recollection as the most -abject beggar I saw. - -But in Galway there is dirt and squalor and it is picturesque. There -in the Claddagh one meets with old hags who are hideous enough and -Spanish looking enough to have just left Velasquez's studio, where -one can imagine them posing as models for some masterpiece of the -great realist. - -Barefooted they are, and the homely ones have a great desire to be -photographed. Many and many were the pretty women I saw in Ireland, -but my camera recorded but few of their lineaments, while I was asked -more than once by plain women to take their pictures. - -One nailed me as I was passing her vegetable shop in the Claddagh. She -was cross-eyed, poor thing, and in a land where pretty features are as -plentiful as blackberries, she was plain, but she besought me to take -her picture. - -Now, when a woman asks you to photograph her you don't feel like -refusing her, and I was too much of a novice to make a feint at -snapping the shutter and passing on, so I stopped and tried to see a -picture in the carrots and cabbages that were displayed at the door. - -Such a simpering, conscious face as she displayed! I tried to engage -her in talk so that she would at least look naturally homely, but it -was no use. Every time my finger strayed up to the little lever her -lips would become set in a smile, one eye would look at the camera and -one would look at me, and she would become the incarnation of -consciousness. - -At last I snapped her and passed on. After that I took good care to -hurry past plain women. - -The day before, at a railway station, I had gone in to get a bit of -lunch and discovered that one of the waitresses was a little beauty. -The thought came into my head, What a model for "An Irish Beauty," -just as one of the others, who had no claim to beauty, said, "Take me -picture?" - -I told her that I was not a professional, looking all the while at the -pretty one, but she suggested that I take all three waitresses just -for fun, and in order to get the beauty at any cost I assented, and -the girls stood in expectant attitudes. - -[Illustration: A STRING OF FISHERMEN, GALWAY] - -The beauty was so luscious looking that the other two were simply -obliterated in the finder, and I felt myself lucky at having such a -chance to carry away a permanent impression of Irish maidenhood. - -My hand was raised to the lever, in another instant the face would be -mine, but just then the door opened and a man came in to buy a measly -sandwich. - -One of the girls left the group--I could see that in the finder, but I -snapped hastily and then looked up. - -It was the beauty. - -I have the other two. They are undeveloped. - -In the Claddagh a pretty little child came up to me and asked me to -take her "piccher," hoping for some coppers in payment. - -I nodded my head to her, but a barefooted derelict ahead of me heard -her request, and wheeling around suddenly bade the child be off and -offered to pose for me herself. - -Velasquez would have jumped at the chance, but I am not Velasquez and -I shook my head and hurried on. - -The vehemence of the old woman's vituperative assault on the little -girl had collected a lot of loungers of both sexes, and I was besieged -for pictures, the pretty little girl saying incessantly, "I as't you -firrst. I as't you firrst. I as't you firrst." - -I managed to make her understand that if she walked on far enough I -would take her picture, and only one other heard her, another little -girl who was pretty enough to grace a film. - -These two kept on, while the others dropped away when they saw I was -adamant. - -And when my models were far enough from the others to enable me to get -them before it was suspected what I was at I snapped them and put my -hand into my pocket to get up a couple of coppers and found nothing -but a sixpence. - -Of course the children could not change it, and I could not very well -divide it, so I appealed to some fishermen who were lounging on the -quay, asking them if they could give me coppers for a sixpence. - -They gave me to understand that both coppers and sixpences were -strangers to them, and evidently felt that, as a "rich American" I -could easily give each child a shilling. But this would have been to -get the whole pack on me, for they already smelt money and were coming -up. - -So I gave the sixpence to the one who had first spoken to me and told -her to keep fourpence for herself and to give tuppence to her little -friend. - -I'm afraid they came to blows over it. As for me, I left the -picturesque Claddagh and saw it no more. - -It was that same morning that I had seen the entire population lining -one of the narrowest streets in that part of Galway, and there I got -shot after shot of the picturesque groups. - -I asked what they were waiting for, and one of the mackerel selling -and barefooted Velasquez women told me that an American circus was -coming. - -I felt it was worth waiting to see an American circus in Galway. - -The circus was called "Buff Bill's Wild West Show." Not Buffalo Bill, -mind you, but Buff Bill. - -For a long time I waited and at last my patience was rewarded. - -I knew just what it would be. There would be fifty or sixty cowboys on -their broncos, a bevy of female sharpshooters, and the Deadwood stage; -and for the circus part of it an elephant or two and the $10,000 -beauty, followed up by dens of wild beasts and representatives of all -the countries of the world. - -At last music was heard. The band was approaching. Around a bend in -the street came the usual crowd of small boys and girls running ahead. - -Then came a yellow wagon, with a cowboy band discoursing the latest -New York favorite. - -[Illustration: WAITING FOR THE CIRCUS, GALWAY] - -Next came one dreadful dwarf, made up as a hideous clown. Behind him -rode an ordinary negro, not costumed in any special manner. He was -enough novelty as he was. - -And behind these two rode a man of the toothpowder vender type, with -long hair, _boiled shirt_, sombrero, and no necktie. - -He was Buff Bill. - -And that made up the parade. - -It was worth waiting for, if only to see what it is that constitutes a -wondrous spectacle to a small boy. - -Fifty years from now some prosperous Chicagoan will take his grandson -to see a four-mile parade of some great circus of the period, with -half a hundred elephants, a thousand noble horsemen, and scores of -gilded chariots; and when the small boy voices his rapture the old man -will say with sincerity: - -"It's pretty good, I suppose, but you ought to have seen the circus -that came to Galway when I was a boy of eight. That beat any circus -I've ever seen since. I couldn't sleep for weeks thinking about it." - - - - -XIV - -_The New Life in Ireland_ - - -No one can be in Ireland long without realizing that when sturdy, -practical John Bull forcibly married dreamy Hibernia, with her -artistic temperament, it was a very foolish marriage, and as a good -American I could have predicted trouble from the very start. John Bull -is accustomed to be obeyed at the drop of the hat, and Hibernia, for -all her dreaminess, is a lady of spirit and will not become a willing -slave. - -John Bull has no more knowledge of the real needs and capabilities of -this Irish wife of his than the average American has of the real needs -and capabilities of an Indian, and the result of the union has been a -series of bickerings that show John up in his worst light and that do -not serve to call out the most agreeable aspects of his unfortunate -wife's nature. - -He suspects her, and what good woman will stand being suspected by her -husband without resentment? In her temperamental qualities--qualities -that could be cultivated to express something noble--he sees only -idleness and shiftlessness. He treats his wife as a child, and the -wife who is treated as a child becomes a mighty poor mother. - -That Hibernia is a failure as a mother is shown by the fact that -thousands of her sons are still willing and even anxious to leave her -instead of staying and showing by their industry and sobriety and -willingness to make the most of the opportunities that undoubtedly -exist in Ireland, that they are capable of developing and governing -their native land without interference of any kind from John Bull. - -Ordinarily I'm quite opposed to divorce, and I know that Catholics -abhor it, but it seems as if Hibernia ought to get a decree against -John Bull on the plea of incompatibility of temper. And I wouldn't -advise Hibernia to rush into marriage again after she gets her -freedom. - -But through what courts she is to get her decree is beyond my -knowledge. She's a most attractive lady and she has fertile farms and -some say undeveloped mines, and there is certainly land enough, -setting aside the fact of ownership, to support all the sons who have -stayed by her. - -Every Irishman in America who loves Ireland, and I can't imagine that -there are any who do not, ought to advise against further immigration. -Ireland needs every able-bodied man to help carry on the work there is -to do--a work that the Gaelic League is doing so much to foster. - -The Gaelic League with its fostering of the artistic spirit that is -dormant in the Irish nature, and that already finds expression in the -weaving of rugs and in embroidery and in bookbinding and the making -of stained glass, and the Irish Agricultural Organization Society, -with its introduction of modern scientific methods of farming, its -model hospitals and schoolhouses and dwellings--these movements are -waking great interest among the younger people. And Ireland cannot -afford to part with a single man or woman from now on. - -The study of Gaelic increases year by year, and whereas in former -times Irishmen, subdued by the English spirit, punished their children -if they were caught talking Gaelic, now Irishmen encourage them and -they are freely learning Gaelic in all parts of Ireland. This movement -cannot help revivifying a national spirit. - -In a railway carriage I talked with some young women who, with their -brothers, were returning from a three days' fast and an all night -vigil at a little village near Bundoran. They were of course Roman -Catholics. They asked me if I was going to the national festival -about to be held in Dublin, the Oireachtas, and when I found out what -it meant I told them that I was, and asked them if they were members -of the Gaelic League. - -[Illustration: GAELIC SIGN, DONEGAL] - -"Indeed we are," said one, and her eyes glowed with enthusiasm as she -said it. - -"And do you speak Gaelic?" - -"Oh, yes. We've learned it, you understand, learned it since growing -up." - -They were heart and soul in the new movement that it is hoped will -regenerate and cultivate and spiritualize Ireland, and while I was -talking to them and felt their sincerity and ardor, I was sure that -the Gaelic League was doing more than all the politicians ever could. - -It is not the Catholics only that have joined this movement; it is -non-sectarian. I talked with a young drug clerk in a northern town and -he "had the Irish" (could talk Gaelic), and wrote his name in Gaelic -characters, but he was a Protestant. He offered to give me a line to a -well-known Dublin literary man, which shows how democratic the -movement is. - -To-day you'll meet with a land-owning aristocrat who is interested in -what the league is doing, and to-morrow you'll meet a jarvey who is -learning Gaelic, and the next day a young lady of gentle birth who is -teaching the poor children of the neighborhood how to weave rugs, and -then you'll meet an artist who was formerly a land owner and a -Protestant, and who was one of the first to sell his property to his -tenants under the Wyndham act--and being an artist and not a business -man he got ruinous prices for it--and has been forced ever since to -rely on his brush for his support. He, too, is heart and soul in the -movement. - -Now when the yeast permeates the lump to such an extent there is bound -to be a rising--but of the peaceful kind. - -"Pat," in his "Economics for Irishmen," says, "Were I a priest, I -should, I think, regard it as a sin on my soul every time a young -person emigrated from my parish while I might have shown him how he -could have made an excellent living at home." - -It must strike every American, no matter whether he is a Protestant, -an atheist, an agnostic, or a Roman Catholic, so long as he is open -minded, that the size and evident costliness of the churches in the -country districts is out of all proportion to the costliness of the -houses of the peasants. - -In a poor community money that is put into costly bricks and stone -that might have been put into books and bread is money inadequately -expended, even if Ruskin rise from his grave to contradict me. A -better temple to God than a granite church is a granite constitution, -and the light of health and sanity and cheerful industry in the eye of -an Irish lad is better than the light of a thousand candles. - -This is not a question of religion, but of common sense. If all the -money that has been spent upon the extra embellishment of churches of -all denominations in Ireland had been spent on the physical and -educational and moral betterment of Irishmen, they would have ceased -to emigrate long since. - -But this is thin ice, and as I can't swim I'll give up the skating on -it until the weather is colder. - -But the priests are also interested in this Gaelic revival of which -Americans have already heard so much, and which is non-sectarian and -non-political. And the nuns are doing a blessed work all over Ireland. - -Let me close this somewhat serious chapter--one can't help being -serious in Ireland when he sees that her regeneration is at hand--with -a parable that I made all by my lonesome: - -Once there was a man who had a sugar maple, and there being a demand -for maple sugar he allowed the sap to run early and late, and -disposed of the sugar thus obtained. But there came by a man who said: - -[Illustration: GONE TO AMERICA] - -"Why, you're ruining that tree. The sap that is being made into sugar -for the whole United States is the life blood of that green old tree. -If you keep on, your tree will wither and die." - -And the man took the advice and the tree renewed its youth. - -Close up the sap holes and keep in the sap, for the sap is the life -blood of Ireland, and we in America have learned how to make sugar out -of many things--even out of beets--and we no longer need the Irish -young man. But the old tree needs her young blood in order to keep her -fresh and green. - - - - -Transcriber's Note: - - -Archaic and inconsistent spelling and punctuation retained. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Just Irish, by Charles Battell Loomis - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JUST IRISH *** - -***** This file should be named 40465-8.txt or 40465-8.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/0/4/6/40465/ - -Produced by Greg Bergquist, Matthew Wheaton and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: Just Irish - -Author: Charles Battell Loomis - -Release Date: August 9, 2012 [EBook #40465] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JUST IRISH *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Bergquist, Matthew Wheaton and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - - - - - -</pre> - +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 40465 ***</div> <div class="figcenter"> <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="400" height="621" alt="" /> @@ -5069,382 +5031,6 @@ fresh and green.</p> <p>Archaic and inconsistent spelling and punctuation retained.</p> </div> - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Just Irish, by Charles Battell Loomis - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JUST IRISH *** - -***** This file should be named 40465-h.htm or 40465-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/0/4/6/40465/ - -Produced by Greg Bergquist, Matthew Wheaton and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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