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index c7daf97..b3e9d25 100644
--- a/42194-0.txt
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@@ -1,23 +1,4 @@
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rescue, by Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Rescue
-
-Author: Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-
-Release Date: February 25, 2013 [EBook #42194]
-
-Language: English
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE RESCUE ***
-
-
-
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 42194 ***
Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
@@ -4329,365 +4310,4 @@ motherhood: "Oh--but my child!"
End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rescue, by Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE RESCUE ***
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+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 42194 ***
diff --git a/42194-8.txt b/42194-8.txt
deleted file mode 100644
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--- a/42194-8.txt
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,4695 +0,0 @@
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rescue, by Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Rescue
-
-Author: Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-
-Release Date: February 25, 2013 [EBook #42194]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE RESCUE ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
-produced from images available at The Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-The Rescue
-
-[Illustration: frontispiece]
-
-
-
-
-The Rescue
-
-BY
-Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-AUTHOR OF "THE CONFOUNDING OF CAMELIA"
-"THE DULL MISS ARCHINARD"
-
-[Illustration: colophon]
-
-NEW YORK
-The Century Co.
-1902
-
-Copyright, 1901, 1902, by
-THE CENTURY CO.
-
-_Published May, 1902_
-
-THE DEVINNE PRESS.
-
-
-
-
-TO
-
-G. S. S.
-
-AND
-
-M. D. S.
-
-
-
-
-
-THE RESCUE
-
-[Illustration]
-
-I
-
-
-EUSTACE DAMIER bent his long, melancholy profile over
-the photograph-album. It was an old-fashioned album; its faded morocco
-cover, its gilt clasp loosened with age, went with the quiet
-old-fashioned little room, that had no intentions, made no efforts, and
-yet was full of meaning, with the charm of an epoch near enough to be
-easily understood, yet with a grace and a pathos in its modern antiquity
-deeper than that possessed by a more romantic remoteness. It was the
-sort of little drawing-room where one's mother might have accepted one's
-father: one could not quite see one's present in it, but one saw a near
-and a dear past. The gray wall-paper with its flecked gold flower, the
-curved lines of the sedately ornamental chairs and sofas, the crisp yet
-faded chintzes, the wedded vases on the marble mantelpiece, the books,
-well worn, on stands, the group of family silhouettes on the wall, the
-cheerful floral carpet--all made a picture curiously unlike the early
-nineties, and fully characteristic of the sixties. There were many
-flowers about the room, arranged with a cheerful regularity; the very
-roses looked old-fashioned in their closely grouped bunches; and in a
-corner stood a tall étagère bearing potted plants in rows that narrowed
-to an apex. Between curtains, carefully drawn, of white lace and green
-rep, one saw a strip of garden brilliantly illuminated with sunlight.
-
-It was in just such a room and in such surroundings that Damier had
-imagined seeing again his old friend, and his mother's friend, Mrs.
-Mostyn. He always associated her with a sprightly conservatism. With a
-genial, yet detached, appreciation of modern taste, she would be
-placidly faithful to the taste of her girlhood. The house, he
-remembered, had been her mother's, and its contents had probably
-remained as they were when her mother's death put her in possession of
-it. He remembered Mrs. Mostyn's caps, her cameos, her rings, her
-bracelet with the plaited hair in it, her jests, too, and her
-gaieties--all with a perfume of potpourri, with a niceness and
-exactitude of simile that had not attempted to keep pace with the
-complexities, the allusiveness and elusiveness, of modern humor.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn had lived for many years in this small country house; she
-had entered it as a childless widow after a life of some color and
-movement, her husband having been a promising diplomat, whose death in
-early middle age had cut short a career that had not yet found an
-opportunity of rising from promise to any large achievement. After his
-death Mrs. Mostyn devoted herself to books, to her garden, her poor
-people, and her friends. Her house was not adapted to a large
-hospitality, but one of these friends was usually with her. Damier,
-however, was only paying a call. He had never visited Mrs. Mostyn; she
-had visited his mother in London, and since his mother had died he had
-been little in England. Now he was staying with the Halbournes, eight
-miles away.
-
-The atmosphere of the room, as he waited, the stillness of the warm,
-fragrant garden outside, combined to make a half-tender, half-melancholy
-mood, in which an impression, quickly felt, is long remembered. Such an
-impression awaited him in the old photograph-album. It had been natural
-to see there his mother's gentle, thoughtful face--first of a
-round-cheeked girl, looking like a Thackeray heroine, and, later, the
-face he knew so well, fatigued, sad, yet smiling under gray hair;
-natural to see his father, with dreaming eyes and the fine head of the
-thinker; to see aunts and uncles, his dead sister, and himself: but it
-was with the half-painful, half-joyous shock of something wholly
-unfamiliar, wholly arresting, strongly significant, that he came upon
-the photograph of an unknown lady. It was a faded carte-de-visite, and
-the small lettering on the cardboard edge spoke of Paris and of some
-bygone photographer. The lady was portrayed in a conventional pose and
-without modern accessories, leaning one arm in its sleeve of flowing
-silk on the back of a high chair, a hand hanging, half hidden, against
-the folds of her silken skirt. She was dressed after the fashion of the
-late sixties, in that of the Second Empire; yet, though her dress spoke
-of France, as the photograph had done, and spoke charmingly, her face
-was not that of a French-woman. One's first impression--not too
-superficial, either--was of a finished little _mondaine;_ but finished,
-poised, serene as she was, she could not be more than twenty--indeed, as
-Damier reflected, youth at that time was not a lengthy epoch, as in
-ours. She was slender, the leaning bust and arm rounded, the hand long.
-Her face was heart-shaped; the dark hair, parted over the forehead and
-drawn up fully from the brows, emphasized the width across the eyes, the
-narrowness of the face below; the lips were firm and delicate. Of her
-eyes one saw chiefly the gaze and the darkness under a sweep of straight
-eyebrow. And Damier had passed at once through these surface impressions
-to an essential one: her head was the most enchanting he had ever seen,
-and her eyes, as they looked at him, had a message for him. Man of the
-modern world as he was, he stood looking back at this dim, enchanting
-face; stood trying to interpret its message over the chasm made by more
-than two decades; stood wondering what she meant to him. He was wrapped
-in this sensation--of a spell woven about him, of an outstretching from
-the past, of something mysterious and urgent--when Mrs. Mostyn came in.
-
-
-
-
-II
-
-
-MRS. MOSTYN had changed little since he had last seen
-her five years ago in London. Her hair, under the laces of her cap, was
-whiter; her rosiness and plumpness--her little hands were especially
-fat--more accentuated: but the gaiety and kindness were the same. As
-much as in the past she entered into all his interests: asked questions
-about his three years at the English embassy in Rome, about his recent
-travels, what he had done, what he intended to do. When all
-reminiscences were over, all plans discussed, and when Mrs. Mostyn had
-sketched for him, with her crisp, nipping definitiveness, the people of
-the neighborhood, Damier, who during all the talk had kept the album in
-his hand, his forefinger between the leaves at the place where the
-enchanted photograph had looked at him, said, opening the book: "I have
-been immersing myself in the past. Is anything so full of its feeling as
-an old photograph-album? _Çà sent le temps_, and I have made a discovery
-there. Who is this?" He held out the opened page to her, and Mrs.
-Mostyn, adjusting her eye-glasses, looked.
-
-"Ah, yes. Is she not charming?"
-
-"She has charmed me. She is wonderful."
-
-"Her story was certainly rather wonderful. And she always charmed me,
-too, though I knew her only slightly, and saw her for only a short time.
-I met her in Paris when I was there with my husband. She was a Miss
-Chanfrey--Clara Chanfrey, a younger branch of the Bectons, you know.
-Clara had come out in London the year before. Lady Chanfrey, an
-ambitious woman, had, I fancy, determined on a brilliant match for her,
-and it seemed about to be realized, for Lord Pemleigh followed them to
-Paris, where Clara's beauty made a furor--she was thought lovelier than
-the Empress. As I remember her there was really no comparison; she was
-far lovelier. I can see her now: one night at the Tuileries--she wore a
-white gauze dress and lilies-of-the-valley in her hair; and at the
-opera, Lord Pemleigh in the box, a hard, impassive man, but he was,
-report said, desperately enamoured; and, again, riding in the Bois in
-the flowing habit of the time. There was an air of serious blitheness
-about her; yet under the blitheness I felt always an eagerness, a
-waiting. She always seemed to be waiting, and to smile and talk _pour
-passer le temps_--to make the something that was coming come more
-quickly. Poor child! it came."
-
-"She married Lord Pemleigh?" Damier asked, as Mrs. Mostyn paused, her
-eyes vague with memories.
-
-"No; don't you remember? He married little Ethel Dunstan--but only after
-years had passed. No; she did an extraordinary thing--a dreadful thing.
-She eloped--ran away with a French artist, a man of no family, no
-fortune. He was introduced to the Chanfreys in Paris, and painted
-Clara's portrait. Very clever it was thought, rather in the style of
-Manet; a full-length portrait--I saw it--of Clara in a white lawn dress
-with a green ribbon around her waist and a green ribbon in her black
-hair, and at her throat an emerald locket. Perhaps his very difference
-charmed her, and the distance that separated his world from hers made
-her unable to see him clearly; he was, too, extremely handsome. No
-explanations are needed of why he fell in love; the wealth and the
-position he hoped through her to attain were sufficient reasons, to say
-nothing of her beauty. At all events, Clara proudly avowed that they
-loved each other. One can only imagine the storm. The Chanfreys took her
-back to England; he followed them; and she ran away with him and married
-him. Her family never forgave her. Her father and mother died without
-ever seeing her again, and she refused the small allowance they offered
-her. Since those days I have heard only vaguely of her, and heard only
-unhappy things. The man, Jules Vicaud, was a talented brute. With her
-all had been glamour, charm, romance, the sense of generous trust; with
-him calculation and selfishness. He treated her abominably when he found
-that he had gained nothing with her; and he was idle, extravagant,
-dissipated. They became terribly poor. It was a sordid, a horrible
-story;--a violet dragged in the mud."
-
-Damier had listened in silence; now, as Mrs. Mostyn handed him back the
-album, and as, once more, the steady gaze met his, "I cannot associate
-her with the gutter," he said, "nor can I understand this violet
-stooping to it. I should have imagined her too fastidious, too
-intelligent, and, if you will, too conventional to be for one moment
-dazzled by a shoddy bohemian."
-
-"Oh," sighed Mrs. Mostyn, "has delicacy ever been a certificate of
-safety? She was fastidious, she was intelligent, she was conventional;
-but she was also idealistic, impulsive, ignorant--far more ignorant than
-a modern girl would be. Her knowledge of any other world than her own
-was so vague that the very carefulness of her breeding made her
-unconscious of its lack in others; differences she would have thought
-significant only of his greatness and her own littleness. She dazzled
-herself more than he dazzled her, perhaps. And he was, then at least,
-more than the shoddy bohemian. He had grace, power,--I well remember
-him,--an apparent indifference to the more petty standards and tests of
-her world that no doubt seemed to her a splendid, courageous
-unworldliness. And then he came at a moment of rebellion, pain, and
-perplexity, as a contrast to the formality, the charmlessness of her
-English suitor. She did not love Lord Pemleigh; her resistance to the
-match had already embittered her relations with her mother--Lady
-Chanfrey was a high-spirited, clever, cynical woman. And then--and
-then--she fell in love with Jules Vicaud; that is, after all, the only
-final explanation of these stories."
-
-"And she ceased to love him?" He seemed now to interpret the gaze more
-fully. Did it not foresee? Did it not entreat--though so proudly?
-
-"Ah, I don't know. All I know is that she stuck to him, and that she was
-miserable. Poor, poor child!" Mrs. Mostyn repeated.
-
-"And is she dead?" he asked after a little pause in which it seemed to
-him that they had thrown flowers on a long-forgotten grave.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn looked out of the window at the summer sky and sunny garden,
-the effort of difficult recollection on her face.
-
-"I really don't know--I really can't remember. So soon afterward my
-husband died; Lady Chanfrey died; I came here to live. I heard from time
-to time of her misfortunes--of her death I don't think I heard; but for
-years now I have heard nothing. How many years ago is it? This is '95,
-and that was--oh, it must have been nearly twenty-eight years ago."
-
-"So that she would be now?"
-
-"She would be forty-seven now. If she is alive the story of her life is
-over."
-
-"I wonder if it is. I wonder if she is alive."
-
-The gaze of the photograph, with all its calm, grew more profound, more
-significant.
-
-"Could you find out?" he asked presently.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn broke into a laugh that, with its cheery common sense, like
-a gay cockcrow announcing dawn, seemed to dispel the hallucinations of
-night, recall the reality of the present, and set them both firmly in
-their own epoch.
-
-"My dear Eustace! What a dabbler in impressions you are! I won't say
-dabbler--seeker-after."
-
-"Not after impressions," said Damier, smiling a little sadly.
-
-"And have you not found anything?" she asked.
-
-"No; I don't think I have."
-
-"Neither a religion, nor a work, nor a woman!" smiled Mrs. Mostyn. "You
-have always reminded me, Eustace, of that introspective Swiss gentleman
-of the journal. You are always seeking something to which you can give
-yourself unreservedly. But my sad little Clara, even if she would have
-meant something to you, came too early. She missed you by--how many
-years?--fifteen at least, Eustace; you were hardly more than a baby when
-that photograph was taken. But she may have had a daughter,--the
-daughter of the bohemian and the mondaine,--and you might find there an
-adventure of the heart."
-
-"Ah, I don't care about a daughter--or about an adventure."
-
-Mrs. Mostyn glanced at his absorbed, delicate face with a smile baffled
-and quizzical. She controlled, however, any humorous queries, and said
-presently:
-
-"Yes, I might try to find out. I might write to Mrs. Gaston; she knows
-Sir Molyneux Chanfrey, Clara's brother,--a man I never liked,--and she
-could ask him."
-
-"Pray do."
-
-"But I don't fancy Sir Molyneux is very easy to approach on the subject.
-He and his sister were never sympathetic."
-
-"I wish you would find out," Damier repeated.
-
-"I will, Eustace, and give you a letter of introduction to her if I ever
-find her," smiled Mrs. Mostyn.
-
-
-
-
-III
-
-
-EUSTACE DAMIER was susceptible and fastidious,
-idealistic and skeptical. He was not weak, for he rarely yielded to his
-impressions; but his strength, since nothing had come into his life that
-called for decisive action, was mainly negative. Perfection haunted him,
-and seen beside that inner standard, most experience was tawdry. He was
-quite incapable of loving what he had if he could not have what he
-loved. The vacancy had once been filled, but since his mother's, his
-sister's death, it had yawned, oppressive, unresponsive, about him. He
-was no cynic, but he was melancholy. He had gone through life
-alternating between ardor and despondency.
-
-He was amused now, amused and yet amazed, by the extraordinary
-impression that the old photograph had made upon him. More than once he
-had drawn back on the verge of a great passion,--drawn back he could
-hardly have said why,--feeling that the woman, or he himself, lacked
-something of the qualities that could make them lastingly need each
-other. And now it really seemed to him that he needed, and would need
-lastingly, this woman of thirty years ago; and surely she needed him.
-She called to him, and he answered. He understood her; he loved her.
-
-It was whimsical, absurd, pathetic. He could smile over it, yet under
-the smile some deeper self seemed to smile another smile--the smile of a
-mystery speaking at last in words that he could not understand, but in a
-voice that he could hear.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn had yielded the photograph to his determined
-claim,--laughing at his impudence,--and he kept it always beside him in
-the weeks that followed his departure from ----shire. During those
-weeks, that lengthened into months, no news came, and the eagerness of
-his feeling died away. The feeling was still there, but it was like an
-awakened and living memory of an old, dead love. He thought of her as
-dead; it was best so, for he could imagine with repulsion the
-degradation that a harried life in the slimier walks of bohemia might
-have wrought in her had she lived. The sense of half-humorous,
-half-tragic pathos remained with him. He smiled at the photograph every
-day. It represented just what a memory, deep and still, would have
-represented. It said to him, "We have found each other. Now we will
-never part." And absurdly, deliciously, he felt--with an instinct that
-fluttered wings high above any net of reason, singing, almost
-invisible--that what he had missed was waiting for him somewhere.
-
- * * * * *
-
-One day in late autumn, when he had returned to London, something
-happened which changed the character of this unsubstantial romance. He
-met at his club another old friend, a contemporary of Mrs. Mostyn's.
-Sir Henry Quarle was a writer of pleasant reminiscences, a garrulous and
-companionable man about town, who had kept careful pace with the times,
-who, indeed, flattered himself that he usually kept a step or two ahead
-of them: he was prophetic as well as reminiscent; had firm opinions and
-facile appreciations.
-
-He and Damier spoke of Mrs. Mostyn,--Sir Henry, too, had seen her
-recently,--of Paris, and of her connection with it. "And by the way,"
-said Sir Henry, "she told me that you were tremendously interested in
-what she told you about Madame Vicaud--Clara Chanfrey that was. Now I
-know a good deal about that unhappy history, and can, indeed, carry it
-on to a further chapter; the first did interest you?"
-
-"Tremendously," Damier assented, feeling, with a beating heart, that
-daylight was about to flood his mystic temple. "Is she alive?" he added.
-
-"That I don't know. But I saw the second chapter at close quarters. I
-went to Vicaud's studio one day. They had been married only a few
-years; she was a mere girl even then. I never saw such wretchedness."
-
-"In what way?" Damier's heart now beat with a strange self-reproach.
-
-"Oh--not describable. It was the evident hiding of misery that one felt
-most, the controlled fear in her face. She was lovelier than ever, but
-white, wasted, her delicate hands worn with work. The place was already
-poverty-stricken, but clean--grimly clean; I have no doubt she scrubbed
-the floor herself. Four or five artists were there--clever, well-known
-men, but not of the best type: the kind of men who wrote brutally
-realistic feuilletons for papers of the baser order, who painted
-pictures _pour épater le bourgeois;_ grossly materialistic, cynically
-skeptical of all that was not so. One felt that, though utterly alien to
-it by taste, she could have adapted herself, in a sense, to the best
-bohemianism. She was broadly intelligent; she would have recognized all
-that was fine, vital, inspiring in it, all that it implies of
-antagonism to the conformist, the bourgeois attitude. But the
-bohemianism of her husband and his comrades could only turn her to ice.
-It was strange to see her fear, and yet her strength, in these
-surroundings. They saw it, too; her chill gentleness, her inflexible
-face, cowed them, made them silly rather than vicious. Only, at that
-time, she had not cowed her husband; at all events, he seemed to take a
-pleasure in showing his mastery over her, his indifference to her
-attitude. He was a genius, with the face of a poet and the soul of a
-satyr. She had charmed him by her unusualness; he had determined to have
-her, to snatch her, the fine, delicate creature, from another world, as
-it were, and to make her part of his experience of life in very much the
-same sense as he would have tried a new kind of sin for the sake of its
-novelty. Then, too, he hoped, of course, for advancement, pecuniary and
-social; the disappointment of that hope must have roused the fiend in
-him. Of course he loved her--if one can turn the word to such base
-uses. What man would not have loved her? He loved her as he might have
-loved one of his mistresses; and I remember that on that day he
-dared--as perhaps he would not have dared had they been alone--to go to
-her before us all, fondle her cheek, and, putting his arm around her,
-kiss her. We all, I think, felt the ugly bravado of it, and I know that
-I never detested a man as I detested him at that moment. She sat
-motionless, expressionless. Only her eyes showed the terror of her
-helplessness, her despair."
-
-"Just heavens!" Damier exclaimed, after a silence filled for him with a
-bewildering aching and despair. "Why did she not leave him?"
-
-"Well," said Sir Henry, looking at the tip of his cigar, and crossing
-his knees for the greater comfort of impersonal reflection, "there was
-the child--they had a child, a girl; I never saw it; and there was her
-pride--she had been cast off by all her people; and there was his need
-of her. A few years after their marriage Vicaud took to absinthe, and
-drank himself half mad from time to time. Her conceptions of the duties
-of marriage, the sacredness of its bond, were, I am sure, very high;
-duty, pity, a hopeless loyalty, kept her to him, no doubt. What she went
-through no one, I suppose, can imagine.
-
-"I saw her once again; I was in Paris for a few days--it must have been
-more than ten years after that first meeting. I met her leading her
-husband in an _allée_ in the Bois. He was a wreck then, his talent gone,
-his noble face a pallid, bloated mask. He leaned on her arm, draped in
-his defiant black cloak. I sha'n't forget them as they walked under the
-October trees. She was changed, immensely changed. Her stately head was
-still beautiful, but with a beauty stony, frozen, as it were. There was
-no longer any touch of fear or softness. When she saw me she smiled with
-all her own gracious courtesy--but graciousness a little exaggerated;
-she had become, I saw, by long opposition to the life about her, almost
-too ineffably the lady. She had to keep, consciously, the perfume of
-life.
-
-"I walked on with them, and, perhaps as a result of my evident wish to
-see more of her, she asked me to go back to dinner with them. I did,
-realizing when I got to their apartment what it must have cost her to
-ask me, and what the pride must be that could do it and seem indifferent
-in the midst of that tawdry, poverty-stricken, vicious existence. Up
-flights of soiled and shabby stairs, in a mean house, to a miserable
-room--its bareness the best thing that could be said of it--at the top
-of the house, overlooking a squalid quarter of Paris. There was a harp
-in one corner, and Madame Vicaud, in answer to my inquiry about her
-music, said that she gave lessons. The young daughter was at school in
-England, and Vicaud's old mother lived with them, a spiteful,
-suspicious-looking bourgeoise with a handsome, flinty eye. Clara Vicaud
-gave her all the quiet deference that she would have given her had she
-been her equal. She had evidently forced from the old woman--forced by
-no effort, but by the mere compulsion of her own unflinching courtesy--a
-sullen respect. Her husband looked at her, spoke to her, with an odd
-mingling of resentment and dependence. He would say constantly, 'Que
-dis-tu, Claire?' But he talked, too, with the evident intention of
-putting her to shame before her English guest,--seeing how she bore
-it,--talked of gallant adventures, of the charms of various females of
-his acquaintance. She sat pale, mild, and cold. It was like seeing mud
-thrown at a statue of the Madonna.
-
-"When she and I talked together after the supper--one could hardly call
-the meal a dinner--she did not make an apologetic reference to the
-ribaldry we had listened to. She did not refer, either, to any of the
-friends she no longer knew. We spoke chiefly of her daughter, and of
-books. The daughter was evidently the one ray of light in her existence;
-she told me about her progress at school, her cleverness, her beauty.
-And next to her daughter, reading and music had been her great
-resources. I was surprised at her scholarship, at her familiarity with
-German philosophy, English poetry, Russian fiction, French and English
-literary and social criticism; indeed, on the subjects of social
-problems, of human suffering and the various remedies, economic and
-ethical, suggested for it, her knowledge was far deeper than my own. But
-in all our talk there was not a note of the personal, the confidential,
-the regretful; she might have been sitting in an environment absolutely
-her own. I never saw her again after that evening. When I was in Paris
-some years later I went to the house, and heard that Monsieur Vicaud and
-his mother had both died there, and that Madame Vicaud, after nursing
-them through their last illnesses, had gone. I have often wondered what
-became of her."
-
-Damier asked no further questions, and the talk drifted away from the
-subject of Madame Vicaud and her misfortunes. But that evening he wrote
-to Mrs. Mostyn, and asked her if she had not yet obtained for him some
-news of his lady of the photograph. The photograph had for him that
-night a new look; it still said, "I need you," but "I need you now. Help
-me." He was convinced that she lived.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn's reply came in a day, and inclosed a letter of introduction
-to Madame Vicaud, Rue B----, Paris. "Sir Molyneux knew nothing of his
-sister's whereabouts," Mrs. Mostyn wrote, "and it was from another
-source that I found out that Clara still lives, and at the inclosed
-address. Do find her, my Don Quixote, and I must make her come and visit
-me."
-
-The inclosed letter asked Madame Vicaud to recall an old friend, and to
-welcome Mr. Damier for her sake and his own. She had only recently had
-news of Madame Vicaud, and so was able, happily, to aid Mr. Damier in
-his great wish to make her acquaintance. She hoped, also, that she might
-see Madame Vicaud in England soon; would she not pay her a visit--a
-long one? It was a long letter, graceful, cordial, affectionate, a rope
-of flowers thrown to Damier for his guidance into the labyrinth.
-
-
-
-
-IV
-
-
-DAMIER, three days afterward, stood in his sitting-room
-in a Paris hotel, looking with a certain astonishment at the small sheet
-of notepaper he held, upon which was written in a firm, flowing hand--a
-hand that seemed, though so gracefully, to contradict any impression of
-a cry for help:
-
- DEAR MR. DAMIER: I shall be very glad to see you to-morrow
- afternoon at four. I well remember Mrs. Mostyn; to hear of her from
- a friend of hers will be a double pleasure.
-
- Yours sincerely,
-
- CLARA VICAUD.
-
-It was like the evocation of a ghost to see this reality, emerged
-suddenly out of the dream-world where, for so long, he had thought of
-her, the young girl leaning on the chair-back in her flowing dress of
-silk. She was alive, and he was to see her that afternoon. Damier felt a
-chill overtake his eagerness. Was he not about to shatter a charming
-experience--one of the sweetest, most tender, most dearly absurd of his
-life? Would he not find in the real, middle-aged Clara Vicaud a hard,
-uninteresting woman? He had a vision of stoutly corseted robustness in
-jetted black cashmere; of a curve of heavy throat under the chin; of
-cold eyes looking with wonder, with suspicion even, upon his romantic
-quest. He could almost have felt it in him to draw back at the eleventh
-hour were he not ashamed to face in himself such cowardice. He took out
-the photograph and looked at it, and the eyes of Clara Chanfrey seemed
-to smile at him with something of tender irony. "Do not be afraid of me;
-I will never disappoint you," they said. After all, what could the mere
-passage of years mean to such a face as that? What could the bitter
-experiences of a sorrowful life hold in them to tarnish ever the spirit
-that looked from it? The reluctance was only superficial, a ripple of
-reaction upon the deep tide of his impulse.
-
-At four that afternoon he drove to a long, narrow street near the
-Boulevard St. Germain--a street of large, bleak houses showing a sort of
-dismantled stateliness. At one of the largest, stateliest, bleakest of
-these the fiacre stopped, and Damier, after asking the way of a grimly
-respectable concierge with a small knitted shawl of black wool folded
-tightly about her shoulders, mounted a wide, uncarpeted stone staircase
-to the highest floor, feeling, as he stood outside the door, that,
-despite the long ascent, the thick beating of his heart was due more to
-emotional than to physical causes.
-
-He rang, and as he stood waiting he heard suddenly within a woman's
-voice singing. The voice was beautiful, and the song was Schumann's "Im
-wunderschönen Monat Mai." Its pathos, its simplicity, its tenderness,
-mingled with Damier's almost tremulous mood, and pierced his very soul.
-It was like an awakening in Paradise; there was the remembered sadness
-of a long, long past; the strange, melancholy rapture of something
-dawning, something unknown and wonderful. Could any music more fitly
-usher in the coming meeting?
-
-A middle-aged servant came to the door, conventual in the demure quiet
-of her dress and demeanor, and ushered Damier into a bare and spacious
-room where the light from scantily curtained windows shone broadly
-across the polished floor. A woman rose and came forward from the piano.
-Damier's first impression, after the breathless moment in which he saw
-that it was not _she_, was one of dazzling beauty.
-
-"I am Mademoiselle Vicaud--Claire Vicaud," this young woman said, "and
-you are Mr. Damier. My mother is expecting you; she will be here
-directly."
-
-Perhaps he felt, as she smiled gravely upon him, it was the power in her
-face, rather than its beauty, that had dazzled him. Already he
-discovered something almost repellent in its enchantment. Her eyes were
-dark, with a still, an impenetrable darkness; a small mole emphasized
-the scarlet curve of her upper lip; the lines of cheek and brow were
-wonderfully beautiful. It was, indefinably, in the soft spreading of the
-nostrils, in the deeply sunk corners of the mouth, that one felt a
-plebeian touch. There was nothing, however, of this quality in the
-carriage of her head, with its heavy tiara of dark-red hair, nor in the
-dignity and grace of her figure; and nothing in her, except some vague
-suggestion in this grace and dignity, reminded him of the photograph;
-and he was at once deeply glad of this, glad that Mademoiselle Vicaud
-resembled her father--he felt sure she did--and not her mother.
-
-She seated herself, indicating to him a chair near her, and observed him
-with the same grave smile, and in an unembarrassed silence, while he
-spoke of his pleasure at being in Paris, at finding them there. Damier
-himself was not unembarrassed; found it difficult to talk trivialities
-to this Hebe while thrilling with expectation; and Mademoiselle Vicaud,
-unable otherwise to interpret it, may well have seen in her own radiant
-apparition the cause of his slight disturbance.
-
-"But you are not old," she said to him.
-
-"Did you expect that?" he inquired.
-
-"Then you are not a friend of Mamma's--a friend of her youth, I mean? I
-don't think that she was quite sure who you were."
-
-"It is only through an old friend of hers that--I hope to become
-another," Damier finished, smiling.
-
-"Well, _pour commencer_, you may be our young friend--we have time, you
-and I, before we need think of being old ones. I get tired of old
-things, myself."
-
-"Even of old friends?" Damier asked, amused at her air of placid
-familiarity.
-
-"Ah, that depends."
-
-He observed that Mademoiselle Vicaud, though speaking English with
-fluent ease, had in her voice and manner some most un-English qualities.
-Her voice was soft, deep, and a little guttural. She had a way, he
-noticed later on, of saying "Ah" when one talked to her, a placid little
-ejaculation that was curiously characteristic and curiously foreign.
-
-But at the moment further observations were arrested. The door opened,
-and rising, as a swift footfall entered the room, Damier found himself
-face to face with his lady of the photograph.
-
-He blushed. His emotion showed itself very evidently on his handsome,
-sensitive face, so evidently that the strangeness of the meeting made
-itself felt as a palpable atmosphere, and made conventional greetings an
-effort and something of an absurdity. Madame Vicaud, however, dared the
-absurdity, and so successfully that the formal sweetness of her smile,
-the vague geniality of her voice, as she said right things to him,
-seemed effortless. Damier, through all the tumult of his hurrying
-impressions, comparisons, wonders, yet found time to feel that she was a
-woman who could make many efforts and seem to make none. Her manner
-slid past the stress of the moment; her wonder, if she felt any, was not
-visible. All that she showed to her sudden visitor, introducing himself
-through a past that must have been long dead to her, was the smile, the
-geniality, vague and formal, of the woman of the world.
-
-By contrast to this atmosphere of rule and reticence, the few words he
-had exchanged with the daughter seemed suddenly intimate--seemed to make
-a bond where the mother's made a barrier. But above all barriers, all
-reticences, was the one fact--the wonderful fact--that she was she,
-changed so much, yet so much the same that the change was only a
-deepening, a subtilizing of her charm.
-
-"Yes, I remember Mrs. Mostyn so well," said Madame Vicaud, "and it is
-many years ago now. She must be old. Does she look old? Is she well?
-Will she come to Paris one day, do you think? Ah, as for my going to
-England to see her, that is a great temptation, a sufficient one were
-the possibility only as great. My daughter has been much in England; she
-really, now, knows it better than I do."
-
-Mademoiselle Vicaud did not meet her mother's glance as it rested upon
-her; her eyes were fixed, with their dark placidity, upon Damier, as she
-sat sidewise in her chair, her hands--they were large, white,
-beautifully formed--loosely interlaced on the chair-back.
-
-"Yes; I know England well," she said--"educational England. I went to
-school there. I associate England with all that is formative and
-improving; I have been run through the mold so many times."
-
-"Run through?" Damier asked, smiling. "Have you never taken the form,
-then?" He was not interested in Mademoiselle Vicaud, although he felt
-intimate with her; but her mother's glance brought her between them,
-placed her there; one was forced to look at her and to talk to her.
-
-"Do you think I have?" Mademoiselle Vicaud asked, with her smile, that
-was not gay, a slumberous, indulgent smile. "I hope not," she added,
-"physically, at least. I don't like your English outline, as far as that
-is concerned." Damier could but observe that hers was not English. She
-was supple, curved--slender, yet robust; one saw her soft breathing; her
-waist bent with a lovely flexibility. But the contemplation of these
-facts, to which she seemed, with the indifference of perfect assurance,
-to draw his attention, emphasized that sense of intimacy in a way that
-rather irritated him; Mademoiselle Vicaud, her outline and her exquisite
-gowning of it, slightly jarred upon him. He hardly knew how to word his
-appreciation of her difference, and after saying that he was glad she
-had escaped the more unbecoming influences of his country, added: "I
-hope that there were some things you cared to adopt."
-
-"They adopted me. I was quite passive, quite fluid," said Mademoiselle
-Vicaud.
-
-Her mother, while they interchanged these slight pleasantries, continued
-to look at her daughter.
-
-"You rather exaggerate, do you not, Claire, the coercive nature of your
-English experience?" she said. "It was not all school; there was play,
-too."
-
-"Play like the kindergarten kind, with a meaning in it. My mother has
-always been anxious for me to take the right impressions," said
-Mademoiselle Vicaud, her eyes still on Damier; "she has always chosen
-them for me."
-
-There was a momentary silence after this--a silence that might, Damier
-fancied, have held something of irritation for the mother, though none
-showed itself in the calm intelligence of her glance as it rested on her
-daughter.
-
-Looking from her before the pause could become significant of anything
-like argument or antagonism, she asked Damier for how long he expected
-to remain in Paris, and the talk floated easily into cheerful and
-familiar channels--concerts, the play, books, and pictures.
-
-She was so much more like the photograph than he had expected, and yet
-so different! The figure was the same, almost girlish, more girlish,
-really, than Mademoiselle Claire's, though the fall in the line of her
-shoulders, the erect poise with which she sat, recalled a girlishness of
-another epoch, another tradition.
-
-There was that in the folds of her long silk skirt,--a worn, shining
-silk, yet in its antiquity replete with elegance,--in the position of
-her narrow foot pointing from beneath its folds, in the way she lightly
-folded her arms while she talked to him, that suggested deportment, a
-manner trained, and as much a part of her as putting on her shoes was.
-She was very mannered and very unaffected; the manner was like the
-graceful garment of her perfect ease and naturalness--their protection,
-perhaps, and their ornament. As for her face, Damier, looking at it
-while they talked, felt its enchantment growing on him, like the gradual
-tuning of exquisite instruments preparing him for perfect music. Still,
-the face of the photograph, so unchanged that it was startling to feel
-how much older it was. The abundant hair was dressed in the same
-fashion, but its black was now of an odd grayness that made one just
-aware that it was no longer black. The heart-shaped oval was emphasized;
-the cheeks were thin, the chin sharply delicate, the lips compressed
-when she did not smile--but she frequently smiled--into a line of
-endurance, of a patience almost bitter. There were tones of pale mauve
-in the faint roses of her lips and cheeks, but Damier felt that this
-charming tint must always have been theirs--went with the snow and ebony
-of her type. Although her face was little lined,--emotion with her had
-been repressed, not demonstrated,--it had a look more aging than
-lines--a look of bleakness, of a cold impassivity. The texture of her
-skin was like a white rose-petal just fading. And in this faded
-whiteness her dark eyes gazed, more stern, more tragic than in youth.
-There was in them, and in the straight line of her black brows above
-them, a somberness and almost a menace. Damier wondered over the strange
-contrast to her frequent smile. He saw that where Mademoiselle Vicaud
-was still and grave her mother was light and gay, but the gaiety and
-lightness--he traced the impression further--were part of the manner,
-the protecting, ornamental manner; were something that had once been
-real, and were now put on, like her shoes, again. The daughter showed
-herself, or seemed to show herself, imperturbably: the mother was
-hidden, masked; her eyes, with their contrasting smile, made him think
-of Tragedy glancing among garlands of roses.
-
-Before he went, that day, Damier told Madame Vicaud that his stay in
-Paris was to be indefinite; had even let her see, if she wished to, that
-she counted among his reasons for staying. He was sure that he was to go
-far, but he knew that he must go with discretion. One thing discretion
-evidently required of him--to include Mademoiselle Claire with her
-mother; her mother constantly included her. It was necessary to invite
-them both to drive in the Bois next day. It was then that he learned
-that Madame Vicaud and her daughter both gave lessons, mademoiselle in
-singing,--she had studied with the best masters,--madame in the harp and
-piano. Damier cast a glance upon the harp; the same, no doubt. Hours of
-engagements had to be consulted. They could both, however, be free next
-day at four.
-
-
-
-
-V
-
-
-DAMIER was able, while waiting for them in the salon on
-the following day, to see more clearly Madame Vicaud's environment, now
-that it was empty of her. It was one of work, poverty, and refinement.
-Books lined one side of the walls; the furniture was of the scantiest,
-simplest description; a row of old prints--after Sir Joshua and
-Gainsborough, some of them very good--were hung straightly above the
-simple writing-table; on this table stood a small pot of pink flowers,
-and on a large table near the center of the room were books, reviews,
-and a work-box; the harp and the grand piano dominated the room. The
-high windows did not overlook the street, but the branches, flecked
-still with gold and russet autumn leaves, of an old garden. Turning
-from this outlook, Damier found his attention fixed by a large
-photograph that occupied a prominent place in a black frame upon a
-sedate cabinet near the window. It was the photograph of a man--of
-Monsieur Vicaud, Damier knew at once. He gazed long at the face, still
-young, yet showing already touches of decay and degradation in the
-poetry and beauty of its youth. Without these touches--of presage more
-than actuality--it might have been the face of a Paolo, with tossed-back
-hair and superb, unfettered throat. Monsieur Vicaud had evidently been
-one of the few men whom a Byronic disarray becomes. Damier saw in the
-face the enchantment that had deluded Clara Chanfrey, and hints of the
-horror that had wrecked all enchantment. The longer one looked at the
-ardent, dreamy eyes, the perfect lips,--helpless, as it were, before
-one, and unable in charm of change to divert one's attention from their
-essential meaning,--the more one felt cruel selfishness, hard
-indifference, and lurking evil. Instinctively he turned and walked away
-from Monsieur Vicaud as he heard footsteps outside.
-
-When the mother and daughter came in together, he could infer, even more
-clearly than from the bareness of the salon, from Madame Vicaud's shabby
-furs and unfashionable wrap, that life, to be kept up at all with
-niceness and finish, must be something of a struggle for them; yet, with
-her small black bonnet, which she was tying with black gauze ribbons
-beneath her chin, her neat gloves, the poise of her shoulders, and her
-swift, light step, she was still unmistakably _une élégante_. It was
-natural, he supposed,--though feeling some resentment at such
-naturalness,--that the struggle should be the mother's mainly; the law
-of maternal self-sacrifice perhaps demanded it. Claire was charmingly
-dressed, simply, and with a Parisienne's unerring sense of harmony and
-fitness. She was neither shabby nor unfashionable; the fashion, too,
-expressed her, not itself.
-
-After all, she still, though she was no longer _une toute jeune
-fille_,--she must be twenty-seven,--had her life before her, and her
-achievement of pretty clothes could hardly be imputed as blame to her.
-
-The early November afternoon in the Bois was misty, with sunlight in the
-mist; the air was mild. Madame Vicaud's dark eyes looked down the long
-vistas, seeing, perhaps, other figures in them, other pictures. Damier
-and Mademoiselle Vicaud talked of Italy. She had never been there, but
-she questioned him about Florence and Rome, and Madame Vicaud asked him
-if he had heard much of the old church music; and the music had been his
-greatest enjoyment. Madame Vicaud was fond of Palestrina, she said; but
-she said little of the fondness, and only listened with a half-detached,
-half-assenting smile while Claire and the young man went on from Gluck
-to Wagner. Mademoiselle Vicaud was full of admiration--though her
-admirations were always unemphatic--for the latter; but Madame Vicaud,
-though retaining, evidently, no lurking survivals of taste for the
-operatic music of her youth, would own only to a tempered liking for the
-great opera-master. She mused lightly over Damier's demand for her
-preferences, and inclined to think that opera never meant much to her;
-it was a form of art that offended her taste almost inevitably; its
-appeal to the eye could so rarely justify itself, and the music, of
-course, was restricted by its being pinned down to definite descriptive
-themes.
-
-Claire hummed out, in a melancholy, emotional contralto, a phrase from
-"Tristan." "I can't sing him--none of our French throats can; but he
-fills me, sweeps me up; that is all I ask of music. Mamma likes music to
-lift her; I like it to carry me away." Among the deep, almost purple
-reds of her hair, the tawny luster of her coiling furs, her cheeks, in
-the keen, fresh air, glowed dimly. "No, I could not sing Wagner," she
-sighed; "but I could sing. I am an _artiste manquée_; the one, perhaps,
-for being my father's daughter, the other for being my mother's. She
-would rather have me teach--try to force a little of my own energy and
-feeling into dough-like souls--than have me sing in public."
-Mademoiselle Vicaud's smile had no rancor as she made these statements,
-and her mother's distant gaze showed no change, nor did she speak.
-
-"It is a hard and a rather tawdry life, that of an opera-singer," said
-Damier; "and, I fancy, almost an impossible one in Paris."
-
-"Ah, but I am tawdry," Claire observed. If antagonism there had ever
-been on this subject, it had evidently long since left behind it the
-stage of discussion. Claire made no appeal or protest--merely stated
-facts.
-
-"You see," she went on, very much as if she and Damier were alone
-together, "if it were not for that artist nature, Mamma would not,
-perhaps, mind so much. It is because I am not--what shall we call
-it?--respectable? _hein_?--well, that will serve--that she dreads such
-tests for me."
-
-Damier now saw that, though Madame Vicaud's silence kept all its calm,
-she very slightly flushed. He felt in her a something, proud and
-shrinking, that steeled itself to hear the jarring note of her
-daughter's jest; and was it a jest? Again the contrast in the two faces
-struck him, this time with something of fundamental alienation in the
-contrast. It occupied his mind after Madame Vicaud, very unemphatically,
-not at all as if she felt that it needed turning, took the lead of the
-conversation, and while Claire, leaning back in her corner, listened
-with, when she was particularly addressed, her indolent "Ah!" It was,
-indeed, like going from one world to another to look from her mother's
-face to hers. Already he felt for her a mingling of irritation and pity
-that was to grow as he knew her better.
-
-How strangely she was tainted with something really almost _canaille_;
-the soft depth of her voice reeked with it. And how strangely blind must
-the affection of the mother be that could bridge the chasm that
-separated her from her daughter, unconscious--her evident devotion to
-her proved that--of its very existence.
-
-
-
-
-VI
-
-
-MADAME and Mademoiselle Vicaud were at home on Tuesdays,
-and Damier felt that he would always receive a courteously cordial
-welcome on these formal occasions; but he felt, too, for some weeks,
-that the courtesy, the pleasant graciousness of his reception, did not
-grow in warmth. He was accepted, but no more. Madame Vicaud treated him
-as she might have treated him had he been but one habitué of a crowded
-salon. Her salon was anything but crowded; he soon had numbered its
-habitués. There was a monotony about these Tuesday reunions; they were
-rather thin and colorless; thin only in quantity, not in quality, for
-that was excellent--reminded him of Madame Vicaud's black silk dresses
-with their white lawn cuffs and collars, a quality worn but
-irreproachable. Damier came to find a flavor, an unusualness, in the
-cool cheerfulness of the Tuesday teas.
-
-The salon in the Rue B---- on these occasions had some vases of flowers,
-and the tea, brought in by the monastic Angélique, boasted bread and
-butter and _madeleines_ as well as the daily _petits beurres_ that
-Damier had been offered on a more informal visit.
-
-To the teas came old Madame Dépressier, who was of an impoverished
-Huguenot family, and who spent her time in works of charity, a serene
-woman with a large white face--a woman, Damier found on talking to her,
-of character and learning. She and Madame Vicaud talked of books,
-lectures, and poor people, and smiled much together. Madame Crécy came
-also, dignified, middle-aged, interested in _le mouvement féministe_, a
-writer of essays, dark, decisive, a charm in her bright ugliness. There
-was a dim, devout, and gentle old Comtesse de Comprailles. She had
-known Madame Vicaud for years, from before her marriage, and her piety
-had lifted her above the realization of the secular troubles of her
-friend, and had, indeed, kept their relation a softly superficial one.
-With the comtesse came sometimes a tall, thin priest, her cousin, also
-dim, devout, and gentle in these social relations with heretics.
-
-There was a young Polish art-student, a girl with a thin, ardent face,
-and an attire manlike from its deficiency of adornment rather than from
-any pose. She wore very short cloth skirts,--shortened by several years
-of wear and mending, our acutely sympathetic young man guessed,--a
-knotted handkerchief around her throat, and a soft felt hat. To this
-young woman, who, Damier heard, had great talent and was miserably poor,
-Madame Vicaud showed a peculiar tenderness. Sophie Labrinska had a look
-at once weary and keen. She seldom spoke, but her face lighted up with a
-smile for her hostess, and on Tuesdays she always played to them--and
-played with an ungirl-like mastery and beauty of interpretation--a
-ballade, nocturne, or mazurka of Chopin.
-
-Lady Vibert and her daughter came too. They lived in a tiny flat near
-the Bois, finding poverty in Paris more genial and resourceful than in
-England. Miss Vibert, a fresh-colored young woman with prominent teeth,
-studied art also, and for years had gone daily to a studio from which,
-each week, she brought back to the tiny flat a life-size torso, very
-neatly painted. She and her mother were cheerful, eager people, taking
-their Paris, their _abonnement_ at the Théâtre Français,--a rite they
-religiously fulfilled,--their bi-weekly lecture at the Ecole de France,
-with a pleasant seriousness. Madame Vicaud lifted her eyebrows and
-smiled a little, though very kindly, over Miss Vibert's artistic
-progress; but she was fond of her.
-
-As for Claire, she showed little fondness, with one exception, for any
-of her mother's guests. Miss Vibert talked to her in clear, high tones,
-but Claire spoke little to her, and only answered with her most
-slumberous smiles. For Sophie she had neither smiles nor words. She
-ignored her--but not with an effect of intentional ignoring; it was
-merely that the little Polish girl made no advances, and unless she were
-advanced to, Claire, in her mother's salon, maintained an air of
-indolent detachment--except for one member of it, the only one who could
-be said to recall, definitely, what there was of bohemia in Madame
-Vicaud's past. Monsieur Claude Daunay did no more than recall it, for
-his bohemianism was of a most tempered quality, consisting in a kindly
-indifference to smallnesses, a half-humorous choice of the
-unconventional rather than an ignorant imprisonment in it. He was a man
-of about fifty, and his massive gray head, Jovian hair and beard, his
-kindly, wearied eyes and stooping yet stalwart figure, made him a
-distinguished apparition at Madame Vicaud's teas. She placed him,
-sketched him for Damier in a few words, the most open that her reserve
-had yet allowed her, and it was then only after a good many Tuesdays:
-"He knew my husband, and was very kind to him, and to me, when we were
-in need of kindness. He has no genius,--he, too, is a painter, you
-know,--but a vast appreciation, and a vast generosity in the expression
-of it, and much distinction of mind and talent."
-
-Monsieur Daunay was married, but his marriage was an unfortunate one.
-Madame Daunay had been the reverse of a model wife; she lived, an
-invalid, a life of retirement in the country, and was supposed to make
-much bitterness in the existence of her husband, who had his home with a
-_vieille fille_ cousin in Paris. Damier liked the scholarly artist, his
-mild smile and air of weary unexpectancy.
-
-It was with Monsieur Daunay that Claire was her most vivid self, with
-him and with their new "young" friend--though, when Monsieur Daunay was
-present, Damier's relegation to the background bespoke an excellent
-loyalty to older ties. There was something very nearly filial in her
-graceful and affectionate solicitude for Monsieur Daunay. She would
-sweep, in trailing gowns, always a little over-perfumed,--it was the
-point where her taste seemed to fail her,--and always late, into the
-salon, and, if Monsieur Daunay were there, go at once to him after a
-formal acknowledgment of the other presences in the room. She did not
-talk much with him,--she talked more to Damier,--but while he talked to
-her she smiled at him, an encouraging, responsive smile.
-
-Monsieur Daunay spoke to Damier of Madame Vicaud as _une âme exquise_,
-and of Claire as _une charmante enfant_, a term emphasizing his almost
-paternal attitude, an emphasis made more noticeable by his more formal
-relations with the mother. Damier saw that he was very fond of Claire,
-but that between him and Madame Vicaud there were no bonds closer than
-a courteous understanding and regard. On Tuesday, after tea and talk,
-music would be brought out, candles lighted at the piano, Claire would
-sing while Monsieur Daunay accompanied her on the piano or her mother on
-the harp, Sophie would play her Polish music, and Monsieur Daunay and
-Madame Vicaud give a solo each or a duet. There was not a trace of the
-amateur in these performances; the pleasure was great, and, for Damier,
-the charm too deep for analysis, in this listening with her, or to her,
-in the quiet room, among these quiet, subdued, rather sad people.
-
-He was still, in a sense, outside the barrier, but they all were, he
-fancied, in the sense he meant. These Tuesdays were the nearest, really,
-that any of them ever came to her. Yet they were more definitely
-accepted as friends: he was still the onlooker.
-
-It was only humorously that he resented his slow advance to a more
-individual standing. He could hardly himself measure it; and yet he
-felt that he was being observed, weighed, thought over, and, almost
-imperceptibly, that her smile for him gained in meaning.
-
-
-
-
-VII
-
-
-IT was through a book they spoke of, a book which he
-said he would bring to her, that they came at last face to face, and,
-for the first time really, alone together. He found her in the firelit
-room; her last pupil had gone, and she was sitting before her harp, her
-hands in her lap, her eyes looking vaguely in front of her. There had
-been a fall of snow, and the chill February afternoon outside was
-desolate in its white and gray and black. Within there was the serenity,
-the flicker of firelight, Madame Vicaud, and her silent harp.
-
-She turned her head with her smile of welcome, and, as he drew a chair
-near hers, lightly touched a harp-string. The throb of the vibrant note
-echoed in the young man's heart. For the first time, after a winter of
-patient waiting, he was alone with his mystery, alone with the woman he
-adored; for that he adored this cold, sweet, faded woman, with her
-fragrant life blossoming on its black background, was as much a fact of
-his existence as that he had seen her photograph on that distant sunny
-day.
-
-"My work is over," she said. "I am feeling indolent. Ah, you have
-brought the book; thank you. Will you read it now to me--a little?" She
-leaned back, smiling still; her eyes, he felt, studying him more openly,
-yet more kindly, than ever before. "Will you ring for the candles then,
-or would you rather sit on for a little while in this blindman's
-holiday?"
-
-"I would rather sit on, and have you play to me, if you are not too
-tired."
-
-"I am tired of teaching--of listening, not of playing." She at once
-adjusted her foot, stretched her arms, bending to the instrument, and
-played an old and plaintive melody.
-
-"Exquisite," said Damier, when it ended. "It is so staid in form, yet so
-melancholy in feeling."
-
-"Yes; like the melancholy of a sad heart, whispering its sorrow to
-itself under the lace and brocade of a long-dead epoch." She went on to
-a joyous little pastoral, and said, smiling at him, that that was like a
-bank of primroses; and, after the next, "And that all innocent solemnity
-and sweetness, like a nun's prayer." And when she had finished they sat
-in silence for some time.
-
-"Have you always played?" he asked her at last, seeing her suddenly as a
-young girl in a white dress, with a green ribbon around her waist, an
-emerald locket at her throat, sitting at her harp.
-
-"Always; I learned when I was a child." The unspoken sadness of the past
-seemed to steal about them; he seemed to hear the "sad heart whispering
-to itself" as they sat there in the firelight.
-
-"I have often thought," Madame Vicaud said, turning suddenly toward him
-and smiling with a touch of constraint, "that it was very nice of you to
-seek us out like this. I have often wanted to speak to you about it. For
-it was you rather than Mrs. Mostyn who sought, was it not? What made you
-think of it?" she asked, her smile growing in sweetness as his eyes
-dwelt on hers.
-
-"It was a very romantic reason," Damier said; "or, no, I won't belittle
-my reason by that trivial term; it was a very serious reason, rather, a
-very real one. I saw your photograph in an album belonging to Mrs.
-Mostyn, and then I wanted to see you."
-
-She looked at him in silence.
-
-"How very strange!" she presently said. "Wanted enough for that?"
-
-"To seek you? Quite enough; more." He smiled. "Yes, it was strange--is
-strange. I did not know whether you were alive or dead, nor did Mrs.
-Mostyn."
-
-"And you set out in quest of me?"
-
-"Yes, after a time. At first Mrs. Mostyn could hear nothing of you. I
-met another old acquaintance of yours--Sir Henry Quarle. He talked to
-me about you, too, and immediately afterward I got your address from
-Mrs. Mostyn and her letter to you. Then I set out at once."
-
-Madame Vicaud looked at him with a grave, speculating look for some
-silent moments, before saying, turning her eyes away and once more
-showing constraint in her voice:
-
-"You heard that I had been unfortunate--unhappy? You were sorry for
-that?"
-
-"Yes; but had you been very fortunate, very happy, I should still have
-looked for you."
-
-"But why? Did you like my face so much?"
-
-"So much. I felt that I should have known you long ago, and that, having
-missed you for so long through the stupid accident of the years, I must
-know you always in the future. I should have felt it had you been dead."
-His charming eyes dwelling on her with a perfect candor and simplicity,
-for it was easy at last to speak these familiar thoughts to her, he
-added: "I needed you; I had always needed you. And so, it seemed to me,
-you needed me; your eyes in the photograph called to me."
-
-At this she looked swiftly at him with an astonishment that slowly
-softened to a smile. "You are a strange, a good friend," she said.
-
-"You accept me as such?"
-
-"Ah, yes," she replied, "I accept you as such--gratefully. I don't call
-you. Those days are over."
-
-She rose, pushing the harp aside, and walked slowly down the room,
-pausing at the window and looking out. He divined that she was much
-touched, even that there were tears in her eyes. He feared to show her
-the depths of his feeling for her, his longing to enter her life, help
-her, if it might be, in it; but, rising too, he said in a slightly
-trembling voice: "You don't need my friendship, but I need yours. Let
-that be my claim."
-
-"Your claim to what?" she asked, her face still turned from him.
-
-"To the hope that I may grow into your confidence--the hope that you
-will lean on me, trust me completely, and that, with time, I may,
-perhaps, mean something to you of what you mean to me."
-
-Her face now, as she looked at him, showed a curious, a vivid look of
-wonder, humor, tenderness, and sadness.
-
-"What am I, that I should mean so much to you? You don't know me."
-
-"Is that your kind way of intimating that I can mean nothing to
-you--that you don't know me?" he smiled.
-
-"Ah, don't think that I am so hard and stupid!" she said quickly. "Don't
-think that I am fencing with you, trying to ward off a friendship I
-can't appreciate. Don't think that I have no need of a friend. I have; I
-have--only I had forgotten to feel it. I do not say that I have no
-friends; you know that I have, and good ones--only you do not wish to
-rank with them. Isn't it so?" She smiled swiftly, from her gravity, at
-him. "There is good Madame Dépressier, and the comtesse, and little
-Sophie,--who needs me, poor child, in her struggle and loneliness,--and
-the others, true and good all; but none near. You would be near,--would
-you not?--and have me share pain with you--lean on you, you say." His
-fine young face, stern with eagerness, followed her words in silent
-assent. "But it would be difficult for me to have such a friend. I have
-never had such a friend. It is difficult, painful to me to show myself,
-be myself. I am a hard, I fear a spoiled, stunted nature. You heard--of
-course you must have heard; it is the one thing that anybody must hear
-who hears at all of me--that my marriage was very unhappy. It warped me;
-it froze me. There was no one to help me when I needed help, or to hear
-me, even had I not been too proud to call, and I lost the power of
-appeal or self-expression. If I had been gentler, less bitter in my
-despair, less rebellious, I might have kept more in touch with life,
-been more natural, more responsive. As it is, I can still feel--deeply,
-deeply; but it is hard for me to respond. I am old enough to be your
-mother. No? Well, almost." She smiled slightly at his exactitude. "I am
-very different from the girl in the photograph whose eyes called to
-you--prophetic eyes they must have been! You must not expect fine things
-of me; you must not idealize me." She put her hand gently, maternally on
-his shoulder. "Never idealize me. That is a dangerous--a terrible thing
-to do."
-
-"Can you look at me," he asked, putting his hand on hers--"can you look
-at me and think that I could idealize you?--see you as anything else
-than you are? Don't you feel that, indeed, I can see you much more
-clearly than you see yourself--the girl in the photograph, and the woman
-old enough, almost old enough, to be my mother? You are shut into your
-present. I see you in it--and in all your past."
-
-She stood looking gravely into his eyes as he looked into hers. In hers
-there was--not seen by him and hardly felt by herself--a swiftly
-passing, an immense regret, an immense sadness. It was like the sweeping
-shadow of a flying wing, and left only the limpidity of sweetest, most
-candid acquiescence. In his eyes, too, there was regret--passionate
-regret; and he felt it, and felt that she could not understand or read
-it, nor the vague, strong hope that so strangely informed it.
-
-"So I have a friend, a new yet an old friend," said Madame Vicaud. "You
-perplex me, but I believe in all you say. You give me great happiness."
-
-He lifted the hand under his and bent his lips to it. She looked down at
-his bowed head with a smile that was a benediction.
-
-On that first day of their friendship, as they sat together, she again
-before her harp, it was, oddly, he who leaned and confided. Almost
-boyishly, under her comprehending eyes, he unfolded for her his life,
-its deepest efforts and its deepest disappointments. Madame Vicaud,
-while he talked and she questioned, drew her fingers softly, from time
-to time, across her harp-strings. He never forgot the hour, nor the
-sense of communion that the silvery ripple of the harp-strings made
-paradisiacal.
-
-"And will you not marry? Have you not thought of marrying?" she asked.
-
-He considered her with what he knew to be a whimsical smile at her
-unconsciousness.
-
-"I have been too great a coward ever to get further than thinking of it.
-My love-affairs have rarely passed the speculative stage. My ideals of
-marriage are of a most exacting nature."
-
-"Ah, that is well," she said. "Never lower them to fit some reality
-that, for the moment, appeals. I hope," she added, "that you will some
-day find the woman who realizes them."
-
-No, the silly accident oi the years too much blinded her, Damier felt,
-for her to see, yet, that she was the woman. He himself was too much
-dazzled to see beyond the fact itself. Any question of love or marriage
-seemed irrelevant, did not enter at all into this wonderful and happy
-place where her harp rippled, her eyes smiled, where she understood that
-he had found her.
-
-
-
-
-VIII
-
-
-AFTER this there was no more the feeling of a barrier.
-It was gone; and with perfect graciousness and trust she admitted him to
-the personal standing and nearness he had asked for. She was all
-confidence now, although she made no confidences. He felt that her trust
-in him hid nothing from him, and yet that her pride made her past
-sorrows so poignantly intimate that they must be understood between her
-friend and herself, not spoken of.
-
-The nearer intimacy with the mother did not bring Damier into nearer
-intimacy with the daughter, for the simple reason that he was already so
-intimate. From the first Damier had felt that he understood Claire
-Vicaud. He could not yet clearly define what he understood, but she
-could have no revelations for him. Her father explained her, and her
-mother reclaimed her. That was her history, and he imagined that neither
-she nor her mother was aware of the history, but the mother less than
-she. Indeed, he fancied, at times, that he saw her far more clearly than
-did the mother--hoped that the mother had not his direct vision.
-
-He was rather fond of Claire, with a fondness tolerant, humorous, and
-pitying. What he saw in her were thwarted energies, well thwarted, yet
-pathetic in their enforced composure; he saw voiceless rebellion, and
-the dumb discomfort of a creature reared in an environment not its own.
-This simile might have cast a reproach upon the mother had it conjured
-up the vision of an unkindly caged pantheress; but the simile so seen
-was too poetical for Claire. It was not the wild, fine, free thing of
-nature that circumstance had caged, but the product of over-civilized
-senses--senses only, and corrupt senses. There was the point that made
-her piteous and repellent.
-
-Claire's claim on life was not a high one. Hers was not even an esthetic
-fastidiousness of sense nor a romantic coloring of emotion; there was
-nothing delicate or warm or eager about her. Her wishes were not
-yearnings; they were steadfast inclinations toward all the evident, the
-palpable, perhaps the baser pleasures of life, pleasures that would most
-certainly have been hers had not fate--in the shape of a mother to whom
-these pleasures were non-existent rather than despicable--lifted her
-above the possible grasp at them: jewels, clothes, magnificent
-establishments, riotous living. She was cold, but she would welcome
-passively the warmth of admiration about her. She had not her father's
-genius to transmute the tawdry cravings of her inheritance from him. She
-had his quick, clear intelligence, and it seemed only to make harder,
-more decisive, her centering in self.
-
-Damier could see her as the painted prima donna (never as the sincere
-and serious artist), bowing her languorous triumph before the curtain;
-could see her laughing in ugly mirth at Gallic jests among a crowd of
-clever _rapins_; could horribly image her--most horribly when one
-remembered who was her mother--rolling in a lightly swung carriage down
-the Avenue des Acacias, a modern Cleopatra in her barge, alluring in
-indifference under her parasol, and dressed with the consummate and
-conscious art that does not flower in the sound soil of respectability.
-These were, indeed, horrid thoughts, and as absurd as horrid when the
-mother stood beside them. Even to think them seemed to put a dagger into
-a heart already many times stabbed. Yet separate mother and
-daughter,--it was ominously easy so to separate them,--and nothing in
-Claire reproached and contradicted such images. Inevitably they arose,
-and, as inevitably, the companion picture of the mother, like a
-transfixed Mater Dolorosa.
-
-To the mother he felt that in giving interest and attention to Claire
-he rendered a service more grateful to her than any homage. He proposed
-that he should take Claire for walks sometimes, and he felt something of
-the staidness of the girl's upbringing in Madame Vicaud's acquiescence,
-in its implied trust--a trust that waived a custom in his favor. It
-expressed the mother's attitude against all that was lax or undignified
-in life. Claire could go with him, their friend, but, Claire told him
-with a light laugh, she seldom went out alone. "Only sometimes with
-Monsieur Daunay--but he is like a father, almost; and to the
-dressmaker's; and almost always Mamma is with me--we are such
-companions, you know." Damier could not quite determine as to possible
-irony in her placid tones. He looked upon these walks with Claire--they
-would cross the Seine, looking up at Carpeaux's jocund group on the
-Pavillon de Flore, and pace sedately in the Tuileries Gardens or up the
-Champs-Elysées--as expressions of his identification of himself with
-Madame Vicaud's interests, for he always felt that it pleased her that
-he should ask Claire to go; yet, after each one of them, he could not
-defend himself from the strange sensation that he had been in an
-atmosphere disloyal to his friend. The atmosphere was so different, yet
-so subtly different, when Claire was alone with him, or with him and her
-mother. So subtle was the difference that any remonstrance on his part
-might constitute a stupid rebuff to her unconsciousness; yet so
-different were her tones, her look, her laugh, so different the quality
-of her frankness, its _gaillardise_, as it were, and its familiarity,
-almost insolent in its assurance--so different were all these that he
-could hardly believe her unconscious of the change. He did understand
-her; that was the trouble: for she acted as if he did, and as if all
-pretenses were unnecessary between them, and free breathing a relief to
-both after a burdensome atmosphere. Damier, while they walked, showed a
-grave kindliness, listened to her, assented or dissented with a careful
-accuracy that amused himself. He was not quite sure why, with Claire, he
-seldom felt it safe to be flexible or flippant; some dim instinct of
-self-protection before this embryotic soul and quick intelligence made
-him guard himself against all misinterpretations, made him scrupulous in
-defining the differences between them. Claire referred little to her
-mother, and then, at least in the beginnings of their intercourse, in
-the tones of commonplace respect, with something of the effect, he more
-and more realized, of shuffling aside an excellence that they both took
-for granted but hardly cared to linger over--she certainly did not,
-though he might have odd, pretty tastes for the past and done with.
-
-What to him was poetry--for, to a certain extent, she seemed to
-appreciate his attitude toward her mother--was to her the mere furniture
-of life. Damier resented, but for some time was helpless; she gave him
-no occasion for declaration or defense. Once or twice, when, _à propos
-de bottes_, as far as actual comment was required, he seriously spoke of
-his deep admiration for her mother, Claire listened with a
-_cela-va-sans-dire_ expression vastly baffling. Only by degrees, and
-only after some definite sharpnesses on his side, did she seem to
-realize that, in including him in her own casual attitude toward her
-mother, she not only misinterpreted but irritated and antagonized him.
-After that realization she never so offended again. Indeed, with an air
-of honoring his fantastic sensitiveness, yet with gravity, as if to show
-him that she, too, could appreciate moral charm, the pathos of defeat
-and finality, she often alluded to her mother's fine and gracious
-qualities; but, in spite of this concession, Damier was still aware of
-the indefinable difference that made the atmosphere seem disloyal.
-
-She said one day: "You have really decided to live in Paris--for ever
-and ever--_hein_? Is it we you are studying? Do you find us
-interesting?"
-
-"Very," replied Damier.
-
-"But the world is full of so many more interesting people," said Claire,
-"than two ladies, one almost old and one rapidly leaving her youth
-behind her, who live the narrowest of lives and give lessons to make
-butter for their bread."
-
-"I have not met many more interesting."
-
-"Then it is--to study us?" Her sleepy smile was upon him.
-
-Damier had certainly no intention of confiding in Claire the reasons for
-his stay in Paris, feeling suddenly, indeed, that the young woman
-herself formed a rather serious problem in all practical considerations
-of these reasons; yet the attitude implied in her question demanded a
-negative. "No, it isn't because I am studying you; it is because I am
-fond of you," he said, bringing out the words with a touch of
-awkwardness, feeling their simplicity to be almost crude.
-
-Claire was reflectively silent for some moments, observing his face, he
-knew, though he was not looking at her.
-
-"_Vous êtes un original_," she said at last, with quite the manner of
-her race when abandoning, as impenetrable to rational probes, some
-specimen of British eccentricity.
-
-On another day a little incident occurred, slight, yet destined to
-impress Damier with a deeper sense of Claire's unsoundness. They were
-walking down the Champs-Elysées, in the windy brightness of a March
-afternoon, when, in the distance, near the Rond Point, they discerned
-the easily recognizable figure of Monsieur Daunay. Claire, as this old
-friend appeared upon the field of vision, put her hand in Damier's arm
-and, drawing him toward one of the smaller streets that slope down to
-the spacious avenue, said, smiling unemphatically: "Don't let us meet
-him."
-
-"Why not?" Damier inquired, surprised, and conscious in his surprise of
-a quick hostility to Claire and to her smiling look of dexterous
-evasion.
-
-"He hasn't seen us--come," she insisted, though the insistence was still
-veiled in humor.
-
-"Why should he not see us? I shall be glad to see him."
-
-Her eyes measured Monsieur Daunay's distance before she said, with
-something of impatience at his slowness of comprehension: "He will be
-shocked--think it improper--our walking out alone like this." Damier
-stared at her, stolidly resistant to the soft pull of her hand.
-
-"Improper? Your mother consenting--you an Englishwoman, I an
-Englishman?"
-
-"He is a Frenchman, and I am half French; you seem to forget that, both
-you and Mamma, at times." If she was irritated with him she successfully
-controlled her irritation, and Monsieur Daunay was so near that flight
-before his misinterpretation was impossible. She evidently resigned
-herself to the situation of Damier's making--let him feel, with a shrug
-of her shoulders, that it was of his making indeed, but, by a
-half-indifferent, half-ironic smile, that he was forgiven; he must be
-strong enough for both of them, the smile said.
-
-Monsieur Daunay approached, doffing his hat, and Damier at once
-perceived that there was certainly in his eye a cogitation very
-courteous, but altogether out of keeping, he thought, with the
-importance of its cause. He himself felt absent-minded, his thoughts
-engaged more with the analysis of the new and disagreeable sensation
-Claire had given him than with the sensations she might have given
-Monsieur Daunay. He replied somewhat vaguely to Monsieur Daunay's
-salutations, and, not so vaguely, heard Claire saying, "Mamma has sent
-us out for a walk."
-
-"Fine weather for walking," Monsieur Daunay replied, looking away from
-the young woman up at the vivid spring sky and round at the expansive
-day, all wind, sunlight, and sauntering groups of people.
-
-"You often walk here?" he continued pleasantly.
-
-"Not so often; I am too hard worked to get a frequent holiday: but Mr.
-Damier takes us out sometimes."
-
-"Madame Vicaud is at home?"
-
-"Yes; she has pupils, or she would have been with us."
-
-"She is well, I trust?"
-
-"Very well. We shall see you at tea to-morrow?" Claire laid a gently
-urgent hand upon his arm. "I have been practising the Gluck. I think you
-will be pleased with it. You will come?"
-
-"With great pleasure, as always," said the Frenchman, but still with
-something of unwonted gravity beneath his apparent ease.
-
-They parted, and Claire and Damier walked on.
-
-"He was shocked," said Claire, mildly.
-
-Monsieur Daunay might or might not be shocked, but Damier felt that he
-himself was, more so than he could quite account for. He fixed upon that
-wholly unnecessary half-untruth of hers; he could not let it pass.
-
-"We have often come here; your mother has only once come with us," he
-said, with the effect of cold shyness that his displeasure usually took;
-it always required an effort of distinct courage on Eustace Damier's
-part to express displeasure.
-
-"There was no necessity for him to know that," she returned, adding,
-with a laugh: "Now I have shocked both of you--he in his _convenances_,
-you in your English veracity. I don't mind fibbing in the least, I must
-tell you."
-
-"Don't you?" His displeasure was now determined to show its definite
-coolness.
-
-"Not in the least," said Claire, with perfect good humor, "in myself or
-in others"; and she added, with a little laugh at herself, "unless other
-people's fibs interfere with mine; but I think that I mind their fibs
-interfering less than their truths."
-
-Damier resigned himself to feeling that, after all, he was thoroughly
-prepared for any such developments in Claire; it was the tragedy in the
-thought of the other Clara that was knocking at his heart.
-
-
-
-
-IX
-
-
-THE arrival in Paris, where she was to pass some months,
-of a friend of Damier's, Lady Surfex, a charming, capable woman whose
-husband was his nearest friend, was the means of casting a further and
-still more lurid light upon Claire's character and Madame Vicaud's past.
-
-Damier wished to bring Madame Vicaud and Lady Surfex together. He had
-plans, and was vastly amused to realize that they were of a quite
-paternal character. These plans did not go beyond the thought that a
-widening of Claire's life might be an excellent thing for her, and, as a
-result, a happy thing for her mother. To see Claire well, safely,
-happily married, would not this be the lifting of a problem from the
-mother's heart? As yet he had not gone further and told himself that it
-would leave the mother's heart freer for the contemplation of other
-problems. Now Claire's chances of a prosperous marriage would certainly
-be multiplied if he could bring around her and her mother a few such
-friends as Lady Surfex. He spoke to her, on his first visit to her, of
-the Vicauds, and of his wish that they might meet. "The charming Clara
-Chanfrey!" Lady Surfex said. (With what a chime all allusions to Clara
-Chanfrey always began, to end with such funereal tolling!) "Ah, you make
-me feel how old I am becoming, for how often in my girlhood I heard my
-mother speak of her! She always spoke severely. Mother belonged to the
-old régime, you know--saw things steadily, and saw them whole, perhaps,
-but rather narrowly, and only one thing at a time. She couldn't take in,
-as it were, the extenuations of circumstance. And she was a great friend
-of Lady Chanfrey's. Lady Chanfrey infected all her allies with her own
-bitterness. But the memory of the daughter's charm came through it. She
-was like her father, not like her mother. I never liked the little I
-remember of Lady Chanfrey. But I have heard of Madame Vicaud since I
-used to hear of her from mother, and, I am sorry to say, more and more
-sadly."
-
-"All I hear of her is sad," said Damier. "Every echo from her past is a
-groan!"
-
-"Poor woman!" Lady Surfex mused. "First the awful husband, and then the,
-to say the least of it, trying daughter."
-
-Damier's heart stiffened. "Trying? In what way--I may ask?"
-
-"Of course you may--you know them so well; and, as I see, your sympathy
-is all with the mother. Well, I am afraid she is altogether trying, but
-the instance of which I was thinking deserves a severer adjective. Some
-friends of mine in Cheshire, nice, quiet people, had always kept more or
-less in touch with Madame Vicaud during her stormy life. They did not
-meet, but they sometimes wrote. Mrs. Barnett and she had been friends
-in girlhood. Claire, when she grew up, went to stay with them. Very
-beautiful, very clever, singing wonderfully, yet, from the beginning,
-she struck a false note. And then there was the ugly little story: a
-young man, Captain Dauncey, fell madly in love with her; they were
-engaged; and, within hardly a month's time, she jilted him openly and
-brazenly for a better match. That was only the beginning. Sir Everard
-Comber was madly in love, too, but Mrs. Barnett told me that they felt
-that he knew there was no good metal under her glamour; the glamour was
-so great that he hoodwinked himself. It was tragic to see him trying not
-to see. And one day he and Mrs. Barnett found Mademoiselle Vicaud
-engaged in a flirtation in an arbor, indolently allowing an adoring
-young man to kiss her hand, his arm around her waist. Mrs. Barnett said
-that it was the most unpleasant of situations--poor Sir Everard's face,
-the girl's look of dismay, followed by an instant assumption of
-coolness. She was able, almost at once, to show a humorous, half-vexed,
-half-tolerant smile, and to pretend that she expected them to share her
-playful anger against the hugely embarrassed culprit. She behaved,
-afterward, very badly about Sir Everard's breaking off the engagement,
-which he did most delicately and generously. She had no dignity; she was
-furious, and showed that she was. She even hinted once--only once, but
-it was enough--at a breach-of-promise suit and damages.
-
-"Madame Vicaud appeared in the midst of the commotion, and quenched in a
-moment the ugly flicker of vulgarity. The Barnetts guessed that there
-must have been a terrible scene between the two, but Madame Vicaud
-carried off her daughter, completely quelled, it seemed. She could not
-save the situation; she merely made it tragic instead of odious. That is
-the story," said Lady Surfex, after a pause in which Damier, with a
-whitened face, kept a sick silence--"only the story, after all, of a
-vulgar girl who makes her mother piteous.
-
-"I should love to meet Madame Vicaud. She does not know that I know,
-nor, I think, does the girl. The best thing, I fancy, would be if the
-girl could be married off to somebody who understood--and didn't mind.
-Don't you think so? Could we try to help Madame Vicaud like that?"
-
-Damier could not think just now of Claire's future; he was thinking,
-persistently, of Madame Vicaud--seeing her as a white flower sunken up
-to the brave and fragile petals in mud. The past clung to her in her
-daughter--greedy, husband-hunting, lax, and vulgar. What must the
-tortured mother's heart have felt at this heaping of shame upon her
-proudest head? How, more and more, he understood, and interpreted, her
-silences, her reserves!
-
-In a dry voice he said that he could hardly hope for any possible
-atonement to Madame Vicaud.
-
-"Have I been wrong in telling you--ungenerous?" asked Lady Surfex.
-
-"No; right. It makes one more able to help her; or, at least, to feel
-where she most needs help. It is only in lifting the daughter that one
-can help her."
-
-"We will lift her!" said Lady Surfex, with a glance at his absorbed
-face. "And then, if we do,--right out of the mother's life,--what will
-she do alone?"
-
-"She would never allow her to be lifted out of her life."
-
-"Well, only in the literal sense of going away to live with her
-husband."
-
-"Her husband! It seems a difficult thing to find her one!"
-
-"Not so much to find one--she is enchanting in appearance, I hear--as to
-keep one. But no doubt she is wiser, better, now. And would you,
-Eustace, live on in Paris indefinitely if the girl married and left her
-mother alone? Is your friendship so absorbing?"
-
-He was able to look at her now with a smile for her acuteness.
-
-"Quite so absorbing."
-
-
-
-
-X
-
-
-YET that very evening Damier was to have his freshly
-emphasized disgust unsettled, as theories are so constantly unsettled by
-new developments of fact. Claire did not show him a new fact about
-herself; she merely explained herself a little further, and made it
-evident that one could not label her "vulgar" and so dispose of her.
-
-It was, curiously, with a keener throb of pity, in the very midst of all
-his new reasons for disliking her, that he found her alone in the salon,
-sitting, in her white evening dress, near the open window--opened on the
-warm spring twilight. There was something of lassitude in her posture,
-the half-droop of her head as she stared vaguely at the sky, something
-of passive, patient strength, a creature that no one could
-love--even--even--he had wondered over it more and more of late--her
-mother? The wonder never came without a sense of fear for the
-desecration that such a thought implied in its forcing itself into an
-inner shrine of sorrow.
-
-His vision in all that concerned the woman he loved had something of a
-clairvoyant quality. At times he felt himself closing his ears, shutting
-his eyes, to whispers, glimpses, which as yet he had no right to see or
-hear.
-
-That evening he was to dine with Madame Vicaud, Claire, and little
-Sophie; and Claire's gown, he felt in prospective, would make poor
-Sophie's ill-fitting blouse look odd by contrast in the box at the
-theater where he was afterward to take them. He had, indeed, never seen
-the girl look more lovely. His over-early arrival had had as its object
-the hope of finding, not the daughter, but the mother, alone. Yet,
-sitting there in the quiet evening air, talking quietly, looking from
-dim tree-tops outside to Claire's white form and splendid head, he felt
-that the unasked-for hour had its interest, even its charm. Claire did
-not charm him, but the mystery of her deep thoughts and shallow heart
-was as alluring to his mind as the merely pictorial attraction of her
-beauty to his eye.
-
-"The chief thing," said Claire,--they had been talking in a desultory
-fashion about life, and in speaking she stretched out her arm in its
-transparent sleeve and looked at it with her placid, powerful look,
-adjusting its fall of lace over her hand,--"the chief thing is to know
-what you want and to determine to get it. People who do that get what
-they want, you know--unless circumstances are peculiarly antagonistic."
-(Damier, in the light of his recent knowledge, found this phrase very
-pregnant.) "You, for instance, have never known exactly what you wanted;
-therefore you have got nothing. My father knew that he wanted to paint
-well--you rarely hear us speak of my father, do you?--though Mamma, you
-see, has his photograph conspicuously _en évidence_ up there, lest I
-should think too ill of him--or guess how ill she thinks of him herself.
-I hardly knew my father at all; he was, no doubt, what is called a very
-bad man, but clever, very clever. He determined to paint well, and he
-did. You know his pictures. I don't care about pictures, but I suppose
-there are few of that epoch that can be compared to that Luxembourg
-canvas of his. Mamma, do you know, never goes to see it. She has never
-really recovered from the shock poor papa gave her prejudices--the
-prejudices of the _jeune fille anglaise_. I"--she smiled a little at
-him, gliding quickly past the silent displeasure that her last words had
-evoked in his expression--"I have a very restricted field for choice;
-but I determine to be well dressed. I have small aims, you say; but with
-me, as yet, circumstances are very antagonistic. I should like many
-pleasures, but as there is only one I can achieve, I am wise as well as
-determined; what I do determine comes to pass. And Mamma--yes, I am
-coming to her. Mamma wanted to be good, and she is, you see, perfectly
-good. And, even more than that, perhaps, she wanted me to be good, too;
-but there either her will was too weak or I too wicked--the latter,
-probably, for she has a strong will."
-
-"Perhaps," said Damier, smiling as he leaned back in his chair, arms
-folded and knees crossed, listening to her--"perhaps you underestimate
-her success, or overestimate the Luciferian splendor of your own
-nature."
-
-"I don't think it is at all splendid," said Claire, composedly; "some
-wickedness is, I grant you; but do I strike you as affecting that kind?"
-
-"I must own that you don't."
-
-"Or, indeed, as affecting anything either picturesque or desirable?" she
-pursued.
-
-Again Damier had to own that she affected no such thing.
-
-"Ah, that is well. I should not like you to misinterpret me," said
-Claire. "I make no poses." And after a slight pause in which he
-wondered anew over her, she added: "I merely like enjoyment better than
-anything else in the world."
-
-"Yours, you know, is a very old philosophy--a universe of will and
-enjoyment; but one must have a great deal of the former to attain the
-latter in a world of so many clashing aims," said Damier.
-
-"Yes, one must."
-
-"And not the highest type of will. The world, so seen, is a terrible
-one."
-
-"Do you think so?" Her look, from the sky, drifted lazily down to him.
-
-"Don't you?"
-
-"No; I think it wonderful, enthralling, if one attains one's aims; it is
-all beautiful, even the suffering--if one avoids suffering one's self."
-
-"You are an esthete--
-
- While safe beneath the roof,
- To hear with drowsy ear the plash of rain."
-
-"Oh, better than rain--the tempest!"
-
-"And how can one avoid suffering, pray?"
-
-"_Mais_,"--Claire had a tolerant smile for his naïveté,--"by staying
-under the roof, laughing round the fire. Mamma, you see, would be
-darting out continually into the storm."
-
-"Bringing other people back to shelter."
-
-"And crowding us uncomfortably round the fire, getting the rest of us
-wet!" smiled Claire. "For a case in point--don't you find Sophie a bore?
-She was going to commit suicide when Mamma, through something Miss
-Vibert said, found her. Yes, I assure you, the charcoal was lit--her
-last sous spent on it. And really, do you know, I think it would have
-been a wise thing. Don't be too much horrified at my heartlessness. I
-mean that Sophie will never enjoy herself; nothing in this world will
-ever satisfy her. When she has enough to eat she can realize more
-clearly her higher wants. And--I don't want to seem more ungenerous than
-I am, but, as a result, we have less to eat ourselves. Don't look so
-stony; I am not really _un mauvais coeur_. I would willingly dot
-Sophie, buy her the best husband procurable if I had the money; but
-husbands and houses and money wouldn't make Sophie comfortable, and I
-don't really see that much is gained by making two people less so in
-order to insure the survival of one unfit little Pole."
-
-"I need hardly tell you that I don't share the ruthless materialism of
-that creed. Who, my dear young woman, are you, to pronounce on Sophie's
-unfitness, and to decide that you, rather than she, have a right to
-survival?"
-
-Claire looked at him for a moment with a smile unresentful and yet
-rueful.
-
-"How often you surprise me," she said, "and how often you make me feel
-that I don't, even yet, quite understand you! It is so difficult to
-realize that a person so comprehending can at the same time be so rigid.
-With you _tout comprendre_ is not _tout pardonner_."
-
-"By no means," Damier owned, unable to repress a smile.
-
-"Well, I would far rather have you understand me completely, even if
-you can't forgive. I told you that I was wicked; one good point I have:
-I never pretend to be better than I am."
-
-"And one better point you have, and that is that you are better than you
-know." Damier spoke lightly, but at the moment he believed what he
-spoke.
-
-Claire smiled without replying, and said, after a little silence:
-
-"Of course you have seen how good Mamma is. You both of you have a moral
-perfume, and recognize it in each other. I puzzle and worry her so
-because I won't suffer, won't go out of my life into other people's. You
-asked me how one could avoid suffering; really, for the most part, it is
-very easy to avoid. Sympathy is the fatal thing: _to suffer with_--why
-should one? It is a mere increasing of the suffering in the world, if
-one comes to think of it. The wise thing is to concentrate one's
-self--to bring things to one's self; but it is that wisdom that Mamma
-will not understand in me."
-
-Damier made no comment on these assertions, and Claire, as if she had
-expected none, as if, indeed, she were expounding herself and her mother
-for her own benefit as well as his, went on:
-
-"She is very energetic, too, Mamma, as energetic as I am, but in a
-different way. She is always striving--against things; I wait. Even if
-she can't see distinctly at what she is aiming, she is always aiming at
-something; I never aim unless I see something to aim at."
-
-"What things do you aim at?" he now asked.
-
-"Oh--you know; things that Mamma despises--things that you too despise,
-perhaps, but that, at all events, you understand." He could not quite
-interpret the glance that rested upon him. "And Mamma's aims--I suppose
-you don't care to hear what I think of them?"
-
-"On the contrary, for you think very clearly. But I know what she has
-aimed at. What has she attained?"
-
-He asked himself the question, indeed, with an inner lamentation for
-the one evident, the one tragic failure.
-
-"Well,"--Claire clasped her hands behind her head and looked out of the
-window,--"for one thing, she has kept herself--she hasn't attained it:
-that wasn't needful--_très grande dame_. She has always made herself a
-social milieu congenial to her, or gone without one. For herself she
-would not choose and exclude so carefully; but I complicate Mamma's
-spontaneous impulses. The social milieu has always been to her a soil in
-which to try to grow my soul; that is why she is so careful about the
-soil; if it were not for me she would probably choose the stoniest and
-ugliest, and beautify it by blooming in it, since her soul is strong and
-beneficent."
-
-Half repelled and half attracted as Damier had been, it was now with
-more of attraction than repulsion that he listened, an attraction that
-had many sources. That she should so finely appreciate her mother was
-one. It was touching--meant to be so, perhaps, for even in his
-attraction he had these moments of doubt; but a sincerity that could
-paint herself so unbecomingly and her mother so beautifully was a new
-revelation of her frankness. There was attraction, too, though of a
-mingled quality, in her strength and in her apparent indifference to his
-impression of her. These were better things than the glamour; yet that,
-too, he felt, as when she turned her eyes on him and said that the world
-was beautiful. At such moments something joyous and conscienceless in
-him responded to her, half intellectual comprehension and half mere
-flesh and blood. It was a little swirl of emotion that his soul, calm
-and disdainfully aloof, could look down on and observe, in no danger of
-being shaken by it; but it did swirl through him like a tremulous coil
-of Venusberg music; and Claire, in her transparent white, with her heavy
-braids and grave, shining eyes, gleamed at such moments with the baleful
-beauty of the eternal siren. As long as one was human something human in
-one must respond to that siren call. Even now, when he was feeling,
-with some bewilderment, better things in her, the glamour looking from
-her eyes, breathing from her serious lips, confused and troubled the new
-impulse of trust and pity. Half lightly, half sadly, yet with a very
-gentle kindliness, he said to her: "Strong enough to make you flower
-some day, let us believe"; and, as silently she still gazed upon him:
-"That you should recognize beauty is already a flower, you know."
-
-Still leaning back, her arms behind her head, still looking at him,
-Claire now said: "I owe that flower, not to her, but to you."
-
-He stared for a moment, not comprehending.
-
-"You mean that you see her, appreciate her, through my sight, my
-appreciation?"
-
-"Yes--in a sense, I mean that."
-
-"But," said Damier, smiling, "you owe it to her that there is something
-beautiful to see."
-
-He was mystified, not quite trusting, yet touched.
-
-Claire, without moving, turned her eyes on the door. "Here she is," she
-said; and as her mother entered, she added, in the lowest voice above a
-whisper, so vaguely that it was like a fragrant perturbing influence
-breathing from the twilight and the spring air:
-
-"I like to owe all my flowers to you."
-
-Already, as he rose to greet the mother, he liked the daughter less.
-
-Madame Vicaud, in her black dress, with flowing white about her wrists
-and throat,--a throat erect and beautiful,--had closed the door softly
-behind her, and as she came toward him, Damier, involuntarily carrying
-further his Venusberg simile of some moments before, thought of an
-Elizabeth bringing peace and radiance; yet there was, too, a gravity in
-her gaze, a quick intentness that went swiftly from her daughter to him.
-Then the smile and the lightness masked her. She took his hand.
-
-"Has not Sophie come yet? Of what have you been talking?"
-
-"Of life, and how to live it," laughed Damier.
-
-"Wise young people! Was it a contest of sublimities?" Madame Vicaud laid
-down the evening wrap she had brought in, and, it seemed to Damier,
-averted her face from him as she took up a box of matches.
-
-"Do I ever fight under the banner of sublimity, Mamma?" Claire inquired,
-looking out of the window, showing once more her accustomed lassitude
-and detachment. "I leave those becoming colors to you--and to Mr.
-Damier."
-
-"But don't, even in jest, my dear, assume always the unbecoming ones,"
-Madame Vicaud replied, still with all her lightness, and bending, her
-face still averted, to strike a match. "You have discovered, have you
-not, Mr. Damier, that it is difficult for Claire to assume the virtues
-that she has?"
-
-She moved about the room, lighting the candles on the mantelpiece and on
-the cabinet where her husband's portrait stood; and Damier, watching
-the swift blackness of her girlish figure, the slender white of her
-uplifted hand,--the black more black, the white more white, as the
-radiance slowly grew in the dim room,--still fancied that she was
-mastering some emotion, hiding from him some sudden agitation. There was
-a faint flush on her face as she turned, gaily and sweetly, blowing out
-and tossing away her match, to welcome Sophie.
-
-
-
-
-XI
-
-
-DAMIER was well aware that some trivial and purely
-subjective fancy or emotion may oddly color and distort reality for one,
-and he was not quite able to decide whether change there really were in
-Madame Vicaud, or whether it was only in his imagination that the
-difference he had fancied in her on that evening was continued during
-the following days. She seemed, in her relations with him, more intimate
-and yet more effaced; and he was almost sure--or was it only the
-reflection of his own solicitude cast upon her?--that she watched him,
-speculated upon him, more than at any time in their friendship, and
-always with that controlled agitation. It was almost as if she guessed
-his new knowledge and understanding of her sorrows and humiliations; as
-if she wondered how much he knew, and how much he was going to let her
-see that he knew. And if she seemed more intimate yet more effaced,
-Claire, for a little while at all events, was less intimate yet more in
-evidence. He had the rather uncomfortable feeling that Claire had
-implied on that evening more than he had been able to understand; that
-she had laid upon him some responsibility that he really never had
-undertaken to accept: but she did not emphasize it further, seemed
-content to let it remain indefinitely apprehended by him, and the slight
-discomfort and perplexity he had felt passed from his mind, leaving only
-in a half-conscious undercurrent the mood of vague doubt and withdrawal,
-mingling with a deeper pity, a deeper desire to help--for her own sake
-now as well as for her mother's.
-
-It was odd, this hint of withdrawal and formality, in the midst of a
-greater kindness, when Claire occupied so much more conspicuously the
-foreground. She was now always with her mother; was a third in all
-talks and readings, listening, with eyes almost ironically vacant, her
-hands lying beautifully indolent in her lap, while Damier read aloud and
-her mother sewed. Claire did not seem to have stepped forward, but her
-mother seemed to have stepped back; and from the background--a
-mysterious one to his odd, new apprehension of things--she smiled more
-tenderly than before, and with yet a tremor, an intentness, as though
-expecting him to understand more than she could look.
-
-And all this might be merely an emotional color in his own outlook on
-unchanged facts, but the color certainly was there, making a faintly
-tinted difference over all the mental landscape.
-
-It was during the first days of this dim perplexity that he found
-himself alone once more with Madame Vicaud. He had outstayed all her
-guests on a Tuesday afternoon, and, the Viberts having taken Claire back
-to dine with them, Madame Vicaud asked the young man to share her
-solitude.
-
-Now, when they were alone, and while he sat cutting the leaves of a new
-book they were to read together, she went about the room, putting things
-back in their places, closing the piano--a little restless in her
-restoration of composure to the room.
-
-Presently she came to him, stood beside him, looking down at the book.
-"Always friends, you know," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder and
-speaking lightly, almost incidentally.
-
-"Why not?" Damier asked, looking up at her.
-
-"Indeed, why not?" she returned, smiling. "Nothing, I hope, would ever
-change our friendship."
-
-"Nothing could." She stood silently beside him, looking down, not at
-him, but at the volume of essays, and he added: "You will tell me if you
-are ever in any trouble or sorrow where I could help you, if ever so
-little?"
-
-"Oh, yes; I will tell you," she answered, still with the lightness that
-contrasted with the tremor of Damier's voice.
-
-Moving away, she asked him, presently, if he did not think that Claire's
-singing that afternoon had been very intelligent. She had sung Orféo's
-song of search and supplication through Hades, her mother accompanying
-her on the harp. Damier had not altogether cared for Claire's
-interpretation of the song. Claire's voice had thrown an enchantment
-around a rather over-emotional, yet an untender, conception of it.
-
-"Her voice is glorious," he said.
-
-"The song is to me one of the most beautiful parts of the opera," said
-Madame Vicaud; "that lonely, steadfast love, throbbing onward, through
-horror."
-
-"Ah," was on Damier's lips, "you have said what she could not sing"; but
-he had long felt that appreciation of Claire was the greatest pleasure
-he could give to her mother, and depreciation the greatest pain. He
-therefore sat silently looking at her, leaning forward, his hands
-clasped around the idle book-cutter; and Madame Vicaud, with all her
-calm, went on presently, taking up her sewing as she sat near the lamp
-with its plain green shade: "Do you think Claire's life very gray--very
-dreary?"
-
-The question from one who, on this subject of her daughter's upbringing,
-seemed always inflexibly sure of her own aims, surprised Damier, and its
-chiming with his own recent thoughts disturbed him. After all, was,
-perhaps, Claire's gray life an explanation, in one sense, of her ugly
-clutch at any brightness? Yet the serenity, the sweet, if laborious,
-dignity of the place her mother had made for her in life, hardly allowed
-the mitigating supposition. Claire's life was really neither gray nor
-dreary. He paused, however, for a long time before saying: "From her
-point of view it probably is."
-
-"I should have liked to give her a larger life, a life of more
-opportunity, more gaiety. I feel the narrowness of her path as keenly as
-she does. Not that Claire complains."
-
-"You have given her your best. How could she complain?" Damier was not
-able quite to restrain the resentment he felt at the idea of Claire
-complaining.
-
-"Ah, I could not blame her if she did," said Madame Vicaud, her quiet
-eyes on her work, "for mothers personify circumstance to children; we
-are symbols, to them, of baffling, cramping fate; very often, and very
-naturally, we are fate's whipping-boys: and when one is a young and
-talented and beautiful woman whose youth is passing in giving lessons,
-in seeing people who seldom interest or amuse her, fate must often seem
-to deserve blows."
-
-Damier, in the surge of his comprehension,--of which she must be so
-ignorant and at which perhaps she yet guessed,--longed to throw himself
-at her knees: her pity for Claire equaled, surpassed his own; and he
-had--not blaming her for it, thinking it, indeed, the penalty of her
-superiority--thought her unconscious of Claire's pathos.
-
-"You deepen your shadows too much," he said; "for a daughter more like
-yourself your life would not be a narrow one." He paused, for, though
-she did not lift her eyes, a faint flush passed over Madame Vicaud's
-face.
-
-"I see all your efforts to widen it," he went on, hurrying away from
-what he felt to have been an unfortunate comparison, "the flowers you
-strew: intellectual, artistic interests, friends that you hope she may
-find congenial, your delightful teas."
-
-"Oh--our teas!" Madame Vicaud interrupted, smiling with a rather
-satirical playfulness. "No; our delightful and 'cultured' little teas
-can hardly atone to Claire. She should have the gaiety, the variety, the
-colored experience that I had in my youth. I can well imagine that to
-Claire's palate the nourishment I offer her is rather tasteless. She
-needs excitement, admiration, appreciation, an outlet for her energy,
-her intelligence."
-
-Damier seized the opportunity--it was, he thought, very
-propitious--again to ask her when he might bring some of his friends in
-Paris to see her, suggesting that so Claire's social diet might be
-pleasantly diversified. Madame Vicaud had more than once
-evaded--gracefully, kindly, and decisively--all question of renewing
-broken ties with her country-people, or making new ones, and now, again,
-she slightly flushed, as though for a moment finding him tactless and
-inopportune; but only for a moment: when she lifted her eyes to him, it
-was with all their quiet confidence of gaze.
-
-"I hardly know that that would be for Claire's happiness or good. One
-must have the means of widening one's environment if it is to be with
-comfort to one's self. Our means are too limited to be diffused over a
-larger area. You must not forget, my friend, that we are very poor. I do
-not like accepting where I can offer nothing."
-
-"That is a false though a charming delicacy," said Damier. "You give
-yourself; and I hope you won't refuse to now, for I have almost promised
-you to Lady Surfex; she is very anxious to meet you."
-
-Madame Vicaud was silent for some moments, her eyes downcast to the work
-where she put firm, rapid stitches; then, in a voice that had suddenly
-grown icy, "Her mother did not recognize me one day, years ago, when she
-met me walking with my husband," she said.
-
-It was now Damier's turn to flush. He nerved himself, after a moment, to
-say:
-
-"But this is not the mother."
-
-"No; and my husband is dead: otherwise the wish to meet me would not
-overcome that disability."
-
-"You are a little unjust, my dearest friend," said the young man.
-
-"I know the world," she replied; but she raised her eyes in saying it,
-and looked at him with a sad kindness that separated him from the world
-she knew. "I don't judge it--only see it as it is. It seeks happiness,
-it avoids unhappiness. To be unfortunate is to be lost, in its eyes--to
-sink from sight. To be fortunate is to have a radiance around one; and
-the world seeks radiance."
-
-After looking at him she again bent her eyes, and still sewed on while
-she spoke. "When I needed it, it abandoned me. When I was in the dark,
-it did not look for me. I strayed--through stubborn folly, perhaps;
-perhaps, too, through generous ignorance--into a quicksand, and not a
-hand was held out to me. I was allowed to sink; I was déclassée, I am
-déclassée, in the eyes of all of those who were of my world." The cold
-flame of a long resentment burned in her steady voice. "I have tested
-average human nature," she resumed, after a slight pause, in which he
-saw her breast heave slowly. "It is a severe test, I own; but, after it,
-it is with difficulty that I can trust again. I have no wish to know
-people who, if I were in dire straits, would pass over on the other side
-of the way. The few friends I have I have proved--the comtesse, Madame
-Dépressier, Lady Vibert, Monsieur Daunay,--who had much to bear from my
-husband,--Sophie; there are a few more, very few; and then, you, my
-friend."
-
-She stopped sewing--the rapid movements of her hand had been almost
-automatic--and looked at him, her work falling to her knee. "Come here,"
-she said, holding out her hand to him, "come here. Have I seemed harsh
-to you?" Her sudden smile dwelt on him with a divine sweetness. "I am
-harsh--but not to you."
-
-Damier, with an eagerness almost pathetically boyish, had sprung to her
-side, and she took his hand, smiling up at him. "Not to you. You have
-enlarged my trust--need I say how much? Don't ask me to alloy it with
-dubious admixtures."
-
-His love for her was yet so founded on a sort of sacred fear that at
-this moment of delicious happiness he did not dare to stoop and confess
-all with a lover's kiss upon her hair, did not even dare to look a
-confession of more than a responsive affection.
-
-She pressed his hand, still smiling at him, and then, resuming her
-sewing, "Sit near me," she said, "so I can see that you are not fancying
-that I am harsh with you!"
-
-At such moments he could see in her eyes, that caressed one, made
-sweetest amends to one, touches of what must once have been enchanting
-roguishness.
-
-"But I am still going to risk your harshness," he said; "I am still
-going to ask you to let your trust in me include my friend. She would
-stand tests. Won't you take my word for it?"
-
-"I believe that I would take your word for anything."
-
-"And," said Damier, looking his thanks, "all you say is true. I don't
-want to justify man's ways to man; and yet ordinary human nature, with
-its almost inevitable self-regarding instinct, its climb toward
-happiness, its ugly struggle for successful attainment of it, is more
-forgetful than cruel toward unhappiness. One must be patient with it;
-one must remember that only the exceptional natures can rise above that
-primitive instinct. To take the other road is to embrace the sacrifice
-of all the second-rate joys--the only real joys to the average human
-being. One must either yield to the instinct or fight it, and most
-people are too lazy, too skeptical of other than apparent good, to do
-that. And then you must remember--I must, for how often I have struggled
-with these thoughts!--that misfortune is a mask, a disguise. One can't
-be recognized and known when one wears it; one can't show one's self; if
-one could there would perhaps be responses. People are base--most of
-them are base, perhaps; but sometimes they are only blind or stupid."
-
-"I sometimes think that I am all three," said Madame Vicaud, after a
-little pause. "Misfortune's distorting mask has become in me an
-actuality. I am perhaps blinded; certainly, as I told you, warped and
-hardened. I used not to be so; it was, I suppose, latent in me: I could
-not bear the fiery ordeal; the good shriveled and the dross remained."
-
-She spoke with a full gravity, no hint of plaintive self-pity, no appeal
-for contradiction, in her voice; yet, on raising her saddened eyes, she
-had to smile when she met his look.
-
-"I see," she said, "that you are determined to take me at your own
-valuation, not at mine."
-
-She turned the talk after that; she could seldom be led to talk of
-herself, and not until dinner was over, not until, after it, he had read
-to her for an hour, did she return to its subject. Then it was when he
-rose to go that, giving him her hand in farewell, she said:
-
-"Bring your friend; I shall be glad to see her."
-
-
-
-
-XII
-
-
-IT was as a result of this new friendship, which rapidly
-spread into half a dozen, that Damier, who seemed to himself to be
-walking among echoes of the past and whispered prophecies of the future,
-received yet another hint, another faint yet significant revelation, of
-Madame Vicaud's attitude toward her daughter.
-
-In the more or less fluctuating social world of English Paris, the
-beautiful and distinguished mother and her beautiful and effective
-daughter struck a novel and quite resounding note,--too resounding for
-Madame Vicaud's taste, Damier at once felt,--a note well sustained by a
-harmony so decisive as Lady Surfex, Mrs. Wallingham (another new
-friend), and Damier himself. That Madame Vicaud disliked feeling
-herself a note sustained by any harmony, Damier guessed. That she
-mastered the dislike for his sake, he knew. He knew that she would do a
-great deal for his sake--a great deal for Lady Surfex, too. She and Lady
-Surfex liked each other absolutely. But it was through Lady Surfex, and
-her secret alliance with Damier, that the problem of Claire, instead of
-being unraveled, was the more deeply involved. Claire evidently enjoyed
-this new phase of life. She had now quite frequent opportunities for
-displaying her gowns and her voice and her dancing at receptions and
-balls. Yet, already, among her new entourage, she had shown her affinity
-with its less desirable members. A rich, fashionable, and rather tawdry
-Englishwoman took a great fancy to her; and Mrs. Jefferies was the
-sister of a fashionable and tawdry brother, Lord Epsil, who at once
-manifested a decided interest in the red-haired beauty, pronounced her
-to be like Sodoma's Judith, and made her mother's withdrawal of her
-from his company the more noticeable by his persistent seeking of hers.
-
-"It is really too bad," Lady Surfex said to Damier. "She flirts
-outrageously with the man--if one can call that indolent tolerance
-flirting. I hope that she realizes that he is a bad lot. From a purely
-worldly point of view he can be of no advantage to her. He is married
-and has not a nice reputation."
-
-"She may not realize it, she may be indifferent to it; but her mother
-realizes and is not indifferent."
-
-"And we wanted to spare her such watchfulness!" sighed Lady Surfex.
-
-"It seems that we can spare her nothing," Damier replied. At the same
-time he felt that Claire could be accused of nothing worse than too
-great a tolerance. Once or twice she spoke to him of Lord Epsil with
-half-mocking insight. "He is not like you," she said; "the difference
-amuses me." Claire's intelligence was, after all, her best safeguard in
-all that did not touch matters of delicate taste, and Damier's only way
-of helping her mother was to watch with her--to constitute himself a
-sort of elder brother in his attitude toward Claire, and to try, by
-being much with Claire himself, to make Lord Epsil's wish to be with her
-less able to manifest itself.
-
-The faint yet significant hint of what Madame Vicaud's real feelings
-toward her daughter were came to him one evening at a dance, when she
-sat beside Lady Surfex, more beautiful, with her white face, her thick
-gray hair, in the dignity of her black dress, than any other woman
-there. He then saw on her face, as, fanning herself slowly, her head a
-little bent, she watched Claire dance, a concentration of the somberness
-it sometimes showed. It was a moment only of unconscious revelation; in
-another she had turned, with her quiet and facile gaiety, to a laughing
-comment of her companion's. But Damier, following that momentary
-brooding look, saw in a flash its interpretation on the daughter's face.
-Claire was dancing, exquisitely dressed, calm, competent, complacent,
-as noticeable and as graceful a figure as any in the room. And yet--he
-had felt it from the first, but never so clearly, so tragically, as
-through that somber maternal gaze--Claire was ill-bred. It was that her
-mother should see her so that made the revelation.
-
-The somberness was not a fear of what others thought; she was, he knew,
-almost arrogantly indifferent to what people thought: it was what she
-herself thought that had gloomed her brow. And that she should see,
-should recognize, that affection should not mercifully have blinded her,
-filled Damier with a sort of consternation. Again all the ugly visions
-of Claire crossed his mind, and now, indeed, the mother stood transfixed
-beside them, for she, too, saw such visions. Ill-bred was a trivial,
-mitigating word.
-
-He realized that this very quality--call it what one would--in Claire
-was the cause of her effectiveness, the reason, too, that his hopes for
-her would probably remain unfulfilled.
-
-She was a woman upon whom, when she entered a room, all men's eyes
-turned. Her beauty was like the deep, half-triumphant, half-ominous note
-of brazen instruments. But she was not a woman that men of Madame
-Vicaud's world, of Lady Surfex's world, would care to marry. Had she
-been an heiress,--and she was of the type that one associates with
-unfragrant and recent wealth,--had it not been for her poverty, her
-essential obscurity, she would no doubt have been enrolled among the
-powerful young women who are watched with admiring envy as they advance
-toward a luminous match. Claire had quite the manner of placid advance,
-quite the manner (and how detestable to her mother the manner must be!)
-of a young woman bent upon "getting on." But though her indolent
-self-assurance made people give way before her, made her talked of and
-something of a personage, she was, as a result of her launching, far
-more likely to become notorious than eminent. Any success of Claire's
-must, like herself, be ill-bred, tainted.
-
-That Claire felt this, he doubted, or even that, if felt, she would
-mind; but that Madame Vicaud felt it he now agonized in knowing. And she
-had asked for her daughter neither eminence nor a luminous match; she
-had, he now saw, been glad to shield her with obscurity. That she might
-become notorious, fulfil herself completely in so becoming, would be the
-bitterest drop in her cup that fate could reserve for her.
-
-If she dreaded it, she kept, at all events, a stoic's calm above the
-dread. And her restrictions, delicate, subtle, unemphasized, were about
-Claire on every side; her unobtrusive watchfulness was constantly upon
-her. With a cheerful firmness she held Claire to her duty of earning, as
-Claire had said, "the butter for her bread," and thwarted, without
-seeming to thwart, many of her social opportunities. Damier saw, though
-only faintly, under the surface of appearance her dexterity kept smooth,
-the constant drama of the conflict, a conflict that never became open or
-avowed. He saw that Madame Vicaud's cleverness was so great that even
-Claire hardly knew that there was a conflict; but after what he had seen
-in the mother's eyes on the night of the dance, he understood, at least,
-for what she was fighting.
-
-Damier still felt the subtle change in his relations with Claire and
-Madame Vicaud, and he had by this time adapted himself to it--adapted
-himself to seeing Claire more constantly, seeing Madame Vicaud more
-rarely alone, encouraged as he was in this sacrifice by the strong
-impression that in so doing he was pleasing her, and was emphasizing
-that silent, yet growing, nearness and intimacy.
-
-The silence was part of her extreme delicacy, and of her fineness of
-perception; it showed that his brotherly attitude toward Claire was what
-she had hoped for, and it was almost maternal in its sweetness of
-recognition to him, its loyalty of speechlessness toward the other
-child, the child that--he knew it so clearly now--could only give her
-profoundest pain; such a silence would a mother keep with the child that
-gave her happiness.
-
-He had never more strongly felt this queer medley of influences than on
-one warm summer evening when he and Madame Vicaud sat outside the salon
-on the high balcony that overlooked the garden. They had dined,--he and
-Monsieur Daunay, and Claire and her mother,--and now Claire and Monsieur
-Daunay had established themselves at the piano in the distant end of the
-salon, the pale radiance of two candles enveloping them and deepening
-the half-gloom in the room's wide spaces.
-
-Outside the twilight lingered, though beneath them the June foliage made
-mysteries of gloom; the warm breathing of the summer ascended in
-fragrance from still branches; the faint stars above shone in a pale
-sky.
-
-They were both very silent, Damier looking at her, and she with eyes
-musingly downcast to the trees. Her face, he thought, showed a
-peculiarly deep contentment; more than that, perhaps: for he still felt
-the whisper of a mystery; still felt, in all the peace between them, a
-hint of perplexity; still divined that, though she was tranquil, her
-tranquillity had been wrested from some struggle,--a struggle that she
-had hidden from him,--as though she had yielded something with pain,
-even though, now, she was satisfied. Patience as much as tranquillity
-was upon her lips and brow; and yet he knew that, insensibly, she had
-come to lean upon the new strength he brought into her life; that she
-depended upon him, though she confided so little; that soon, very soon,
-her eyes must answer the unspoken question in his, and solve, in the
-answer, all mysteries. Indeed, he said to himself that, Claire's
-harassing problem all unsolved, he could not wait much longer; he must
-know just where he stood with her, and tell her where he wished to
-stand. Now, as they sat there, listening to Claire's richly emotional
-voice,--a voice that expressed so much more than it felt,--it was
-Claire's voice, just as it was the thought of Claire, that disturbed the
-peace, jarred upon the aspiration of his thoughts. Its beauty seemed to
-embroider the chaste and dreaming stillness with an arabesque of
-opulent curves and flaunting tendrils. Our imaginative young man could
-almost see a whiteness invaded by urgent waves of purple and rose and
-gold. He stirred, shifted his position involuntarily and
-uneasily--wished Claire would stop singing; her voice curiously
-irritated him.
-
-Madame Vicaud sat with her back to the open window, and Damier, beside
-her, could not see into the room without turning his head. He did
-happen, however, to turn his head during a humming pause. Monsieur
-Daunay's hands were still held on the last chord, while, as Damier
-thought, he demonstrated to Claire some improvement in her rendering of
-the note that had just soared above it. But as he turned lazily to
-glance at them, Damier saw a strange, an unexpected thing, a thing
-poignantly disagreeable to him. Monsieur Daunay's face, vividly
-illuminated, was upturned to Claire's; he was speaking below his breath,
-under cover of the humming chord, and with a look of humble yet
-reproachful entreaty. Claire, a swift finger on her lips as she bent to
-the music, had a glance for the window, and Damier's eyes of
-astonishment and dismay met hers. He looked away abruptly--too abruptly
-for a successful controlling of the dismay and astonishment, for he
-found Madame Vicaud's eyes upon him, and he saw in a moment that they
-had been upon him during the swift incident--eyes filled with wonder and
-with an ignorant yet intense fear. Memories of another scene,
-hand-kissings in an arbor, flashed upon him, and he knew her thoughts.
-She met his look--as empty as he could make it--for a long moment; but
-after it she did not, also, glance into the room, where the song now
-flowed with an almost exaggerated spirit. Wrapping her arms more closely
-in her light shawl, she sat quite silent, the effort to control, to
-master the crowding of her surmises apparent in her rigidly still
-profile. Damier guessed that the surmises must, inevitably, suspect
-Claire, not Monsieur Daunay. In justice to Claire, after the
-involuntary silence of his dismay, he could not longer be silent. After
-all, and he drew a long breath in realizing it, Claire's past shadowed
-perhaps too deeply her present; after all, the fact was not so alarming.
-
-"Have you never suspected," he said, "that Monsieur Daunay cares for
-Claire?"
-
-She did not reply; turning a wan face upon him, her eyes still averted,
-she shook her head in a helpless negation of all such knowledge.
-
-"Don't be distressed," said Damier, terribly afraid that he too much
-showed his own distress; "it is unfortunate for him, and wrong of him to
-keep such feeling from you; I happened just now to see its revelation in
-his face as he looked at Claire."
-
-Madame Vicaud, for another moment, said nothing, struggling, he knew,
-with those awakened memories--or were they not always awake, clutching
-at her?
-
-"He may care for Claire," she then said faintly, "but she cannot care
-for him; that--you know--is impossible."
-
-"Only enough, I am sure, to wish to shield him."
-
-"I could never have suspected. He is an old friend, a trusted friend. I
-must speak to him."
-
-"Let me speak to him--may I? I will walk home with him to-night."
-
-A certain relief in Madame Vicaud was taking a long, deep breath, and
-nothing could more clearly have assured him of the position he held in
-her eyes than the half-hesitating yet half-assenting consideration she
-gave to his rather odd proposal.
-
-"But," she said, "will he not wonder--by what right--"
-
-"I speak? By the right of my fondness for you."
-
-"And for Claire, yes," said Madame Vicaud, thoughtfully.
-
-Damier had not at all intended to imply this amendment, especially at a
-moment when he was so sure of not being at all fond of Claire; yet the
-trust of her inclusion was so unconscious of possible contradiction that
-he could not trouble it.
-
-"But what will you say?" she went on. "Any reproach should come from me;
-and what reproach could you make? I cannot think he is more than
-piteous; people fall in love with Claire--often."
-
-Damier was feeling that if, by chance, Monsieur Daunay were more than
-piteous, he must stand between Madame Vicaud and the discovery.
-
-"I will be all discretion--all delicacy. I will only say that I was the
-unsuspecting, the involuntary witness of the incident; and that, as your
-friend, almost, I might say,"--he hesitated, seeking a forcible word in
-place of the one he dared not use,--"your son, I must ask him how much
-Claire knows of it--how far it should interfere with your confidence in
-him."
-
-She was silent for a long moment, her head still turned from him to a
-silhouetted profile against the sky; it was now so much darker that he
-could see little more than its vague black and white, yet he thought
-that, in her stillness, she flushed deeply. In her voice, when she
-spoke, there was the steadiness that nerves itself over a tremor, yet
-there was, too, a greater relief. "Well," she said. The word assented to
-all he asked. She did not look at him again, and presently, as the music
-had ceased, rose and went into the room. Claire was pointing out to
-Monsieur Daunay a picture in a magazine, apparently all placidity; but
-in a moment near the parting, while Madame Vicaud, with an equal calm,
-stood speaking to Monsieur Daunay near the piano, Claire said to Damier,
-quietly but intently:
-
-"You have not betrayed me to Mamma?"
-
-"Betrayed you?" Damier questioned, ice in his voice.
-
-"Him, rather," she amended. "Not that there is anything to betray, only
-Mamma would find it so shocking that a married man should be in love
-with me; he is so _bête_--Monsieur Daunay--to have forgotten that you
-were out there."
-
-"I must tell you that your mother guessed that I had seen something. I
-told her what I had seen, that he loved you, though not that you seemed
-to accept his love."
-
-For a moment she gazed into his eyes, at first with a gravity that
-studied him, and then with a light effrontery. "Accept it! _par
-exemple!_" she exclaimed, and she put her hand on his arm with a
-half-caressing reassurance. "Set your mind at rest! I am only sorry for
-him. Meet me to-morrow morning at ten at the Porte Dauphine; we can have
-a little walk in the Bois. I want to tell you all about it."
-
-Monsieur Daunay was going, and Damier, as he turned from Claire, met
-Madame Vicaud's eyes. Their wide, dark gaze was, for the instant in
-which she let him see it, piteous and almost wild. He interpreted their
-fear, though he could not quite define their question. All the mother
-was in them. Did he despise her child, as others did? He mustered his
-bravest, most gravely confident smile, in answer to them, as he pressed
-her hand in parting. For another instant they met his, saw his smile,
-and answered it with a look tragically grateful in one so proud. He had
-never stood so near her as at that moment.
-
-Damier went out with the Frenchman, and once in the cool, dim street, he
-dashed at the subject: "Monsieur Daunay, I must at once tell you that
-inadvertently this evening, through your own indiscretion, I discovered
-your secret. You are a married man; you are Madame Vicaud's trusted
-friend; and you love her daughter."
-
-Monsieur Daunay stopped short in the street, exasperation rather than
-embarrassment in his face. He fixed Damier with very steady and very
-hostile eyes.
-
-"And what then?" he asked.
-
-"You have a perfect right," said Damier, "to ask what business it is of
-mine, and I can only answer that I, too, am a trusted friend of Madame
-Vicaud's, and, Monsieur Daunay, a friend whom she can trust."
-
-"Ah, Monsieur Damier, you have--I do not deny it--more rights than I,
-who have none," said Daunay, in a voice the bitterness of which was a
-revelation to Damier. "I have no rights, only misfortunes. Why not add
-that you are Madame Vicaud's trusted friend, and that you, too, love her
-daughter?"
-
-Damier felt a relief disproportionate, he realized, to any suspicions he
-had allowed himself to recognize. The atmosphere, after the unexpected
-thunderclap, was immensely cleared. Monsieur Daunay was jealous, and
-Monsieur Daunay was evidently piteous only. With all the vigor of a
-sudden release from bondage, he exclaimed: "You are utterly mistaken; I
-have no such rights: I do not love Mademoiselle Vicaud."
-
-"What do you say?" Monsieur Daunay's astonishment was almost blank.
-
-"I do not love her in the very least."
-
-"Then," stammered the Frenchman, "we are not rivals? You can then pity
-me--I am jealous with none of the rights of jealousy."
-
-"None of the rights?" Damier eyed him.
-
-"None, monsieur; Madame Vicaud's trust in me is not unfounded," said
-Monsieur Daunay, with something of a slightly ludicrous grandiloquence.
-
-"Yet Mademoiselle Vicaud knows of your attachment."
-
-"I never declared it; she guessed it, perhaps inevitably." They were
-walking on again, and he shrugged his shoulders. "_Que voulez-vous?_ She
-has a certain tenderness for me that gives perception, and I adore
-her--but adore her, you understand." Damier was understanding and not at
-all disliking this victim of the glamour--or, was it not deeper than
-that? Something in the Frenchman's voice touched him. Would Claire ever
-arouse a deeper affection than this? Not only had she cast her glamour
-upon him: he evidently loved her--"but adore her, you understand," as he
-had said in his expressive French.
-
-His hands clasped behind him, Monsieur Daunay, with now a reminiscent
-confidence, shook his head and sighed profoundly. "_Que voulez-vous?_"
-he repeated. "Since her girlhood it has been with me a hidden passion.
-_Ce que j'ai souffert!_" He showed no antagonism now, no resentment;
-Damier could but be grateful.
-
-"Claire has not suffered through me," he went on. "She allows me to love
-her, but she knows that she is free. What can I claim?--an honorable
-man, and shackled. Yet--I have always hoped that she might, generously
-and nobly, keep an unclaimed faith with me. I have claimed none, and yet
-she has assured me that, as yet, she loves no other. I have needed the
-assurance of late--I confess it. Your apparent courtship I could not
-reproach her with,--though it tore my heart,--but her permission of this
-ill-omened Lord Epsil's attentions filled me with consternation; I have
-felt myself justified in reproaching her for her _légèreté_ in regard to
-this."
-
-"But," said Damier, after a slight pause, "this unclaimed faith--how do
-you expect her to keep it?"
-
-There was a touch of embarrassment in Monsieur Daunay's voice as he
-answered: "My wife and I have, for years, been on most unfortunate
-terms; I have no reproaches to address myself on her account. She is a
-confirmed invalid, and of late her condition has been critical. One must
-not hope for certain contingencies--one must not, indeed, admit the
-thought of them too often; but--if they did arise--"
-
-"I see," said Damier, gravely; "you could claim her. It is, indeed, a
-most unpleasant contingency. Would it not be for Claire's happiness if
-you were not to see her again until it arose?"
-
-"Ah, no," said Daunay, with something of weariness; "ah, no; her
-happiness is not involved. Claire--I speak frankly; my affection for her
-has never blinded me--Claire is not easily made unhappy by her
-sympathies. It is only myself I hurt by remaining near her, by seeing
-her, as I constantly imagine, on the point of abandoning me. But to
-leave her--you ask of me more than I am capable of doing."
-
-Later, when Damier told him of Madame Vicaud's knowledge of the
-situation, Monsieur Daunay heaved another, not regretful, sigh.
-
-"It is as well. I will say to her what I have said to you. She will be
-generous; she will understand."
-
-Damier felt oddly, when he parted with him, that he might trust Monsieur
-Daunay, but that he trusted Claire less than ever.
-
-
-
-
-XIII
-
-
-NEXT day, as Damier waited near the Porte Dauphine for
-Claire, he could reflect on his really parental situation, but feeling
-more the irritation than the humor of it. After all, where was his
-authority for this meddling? Why should they submit to it? and why, as a
-result, should he submit to the hearing of Claire's coming
-self-justification? He could spare Madame Vicaud nothing by it, since
-she knew all that there was to know--and since it was better that she
-should know it. He had written to her the night before, on reaching his
-hotel, and told her of the talk with Monsieur Daunay and of the
-impression it had made upon him. He wondered if she had, meanwhile, had
-an equally appeasing talk with Claire.
-
-This young woman appeared quite punctually, walking at a leisurely pace
-along the sanded path, where the full summer foliage cast flickering
-purple shadows. Claire was all in white, white that fluttered about her
-as she walked; her hat, tilted over her eyes, had white wings--like a
-Valkyrie's summer helmet; her white parasol made a shadowed halo behind
-her head. As she approached him she looked at him steadily, with
-something whimsical, quizzical in her gaze, and her first words showed
-no wish to beat about the bush.
-
-"You talked to him last night? I talked a little to Mamma, or rather she
-talked to me. I soon satisfied her that I didn't feel for him, _pas
-grand comme ça d'amour_." Claire indicated the smallness she negatived
-by a quarter of an inch of finger-tip. "And I think I can soon satisfy
-you, too," she added. "He told you everything?"
-
-"Everything."
-
-"And you are terribly shocked that an unmarried young woman should take
-money from a married man who is in love with her? Must I assure you
-that our relations are absolutely innocent?"
-
-In his stupefaction, Damier could hardly have said whether her first
-statement or the coolness of her second remark--its forestalling of a
-suspicion she took for granted in him--were the more striking. Both
-statement and remark revealed her character in a light more lurid than
-even he had been prepared for. He was really unable to do more than
-stare at her. Claire evidently misinterpreted the stare yet more
-outrageously. She had the grace to flush faintly, though her eyes were
-still half ironic, half defiant.
-
-"I do so assure you."
-
-"I did not need the assurance." Damier found his voice, but it was
-hoarse.
-
-Claire, in a little pause, looked her consciousness of having struck a
-very false note.
-
-"And now no assurance would convince you that I am not very low-minded
-and vulgar. Well, I am, I suppose. _Que voulez-vous?_ Only don't be too
-much shocked by my frankness; don't be prudish. A man may be propriety
-itself, but he may not be prudish. Remember that I am twenty-seven, that
-I know my world (though how I have been able to get my knowledge with
-such a dexterously shuffling and shielding Mamma, I don't know), and
-that I think it merely silly to pretend that I don't know it before a
-man with whom I am as intimate as I am with you. Of course, on the face
-of it, to accept money from a married man who is in love with one does
-suggest a situation usually described as immoral."
-
-Damier was feeling choked, feeling, too, that he almost hated Claire, as
-she walked beside him, slowly and lightly, opulently lovely, the flush
-of anger--it was more anger than shame--still on her cheek.
-
-"I must tell you," he said, in a voice steeled to a terrible courtesy,
-"that it is you alone who inform me of your indebtedness to Monsieur
-Daunay's kindness. He, I now see, did not tell me everything."
-
-"What did he tell you, then?" she asked, stopping short in the path and
-fixing her eyes upon him, in her voice a rough, almost a plebeian,
-note.
-
-"That he adored you, and that he could be trusted."
-
-"Well, he can be!" She broke into a hard laugh. "_Le cher bon Daunay!_ I
-thought that of course he would paint a piteous picture of his woes. And
-now you are furious with me because I supposed that, as a man of the
-world, you might unfairly, yet naturally, imagine more than he told
-you."
-
-Damier made no reply.
-
-"You are furious, are you not?"
-
-"I am disgusted, but not for that reason only."
-
-"You think I am in love with him!" She stopped again in the narrow path.
-"I swear to you that I am not!" He would have interrupted her, but her
-volubility swept past his attempt. "If he had been free I would have
-married him--I own it; at one time, at least, I would have married him.
-I am French in my freedom from sentimental complications on that
-subject. I could have found no other man in this country willing to
-marry a dotless girl. I should have preferred, of course, a _mariage
-d'amour_; but, given my circumstances, could I have found anything more
-desirable than a kind, generous, and adoring friend like Monsieur
-Daunay?"
-
-"I should say certainly not,"--Damier waited with a cold patience until
-she had finished,--"but again you have misinterpreted me; I am disgusted
-not because you love Monsieur Daunay, but because you do not love him."
-
-At this, after a stare, Claire gave a loud laugh.
-
-"Ah!--_c'est trop fort!_ You can't make me believe that you want me to
-love him."
-
-"I don't want you to love him; but I say that the circumstances would be
-more to your credit if you did."
-
-Her face now showed a mingled relief and perplexity.
-
-"Ah, it is the money, then--that I should accept it!"
-
-"Can I make no appeal to you for your mother's sake--for the sake of
-your own dignity?"
-
-"I can take care of my own dignity, Mr. Damier." The relief was showing
-in her quieter voice, her fading flush. "I see how angry you are--and
-only because I have not pretended with you. Let me explain. I never
-pretend with you: I can only explain. I must begin at the beginning to
-do it; and the beginning and the end is our poverty. Mamma had a
-pittance left to her, a year or so after my father's death, by some
-relations, and that, since then, has been our only _pied-à-terre_. She
-would never accept the allowance, quite a generous one, too, that her
-family wished to make her. I don't want to blame her; I know how you
-feel about her; I appreciate it. But it was, I must say it, very selfish
-of her; she should have thought more of me--the luckless result of her
-mésalliance--and less of her own pride. I really hardly know how she
-brought me up: though, I own, she gave me a good education; I was always
-at school during my father's life--she avoided _that_ soil for me, you
-may be sure! I give her credit for all that; she must have worked hard
-to do it. But she owed me all she could get for me, and, I must say, she
-did not pay the debt." Claire had been looking before her as she talked,
-but now she looked at Damier, and something implacable, coldly enduring,
-in his eye warned her that her present line of exculpation was not
-serving her. "Don't imagine, now, that I am complaining--ungrateful,"
-she said a little petulantly. "I know--as well as you do--what a good
-mother she has been to me. I only want to show you that she is not
-altogether blameless--that she is responsible, in more ways than one,
-for me--for what I am. Let it pass, though. When I came home, a young
-girl, full of life and eager for enjoyment, what did I find? Poverty,
-labor, obscurity. It was an ugly, a meager existence she had prepared
-for me, and, absolutely, with a certain pride in it! She expected me to
-enjoy work, shabby clothes, grave pursuits, as much as she did, or, at
-all events, not to mind them. Plain living, high thinking--that was her
-idea of happiness for me!" Insensibly the ironic note had grown again in
-her voice. "I remember, too, at first, her taking me to see poor people
-in horrid places--expecting me to talk to them, sing to them; I soon put
-a stop to that. At her age, with a ruined life, it is natural that one
-should wish to devote one's self to _bonnes-oeuvres;_ but for me, _ah,
-par exemple!_" Claire gave a coarse laugh. "I had not quite come to
-that! She gave me the best she had--all she had, you will say; I own it:
-but not all she might have had. And then she need not have expected me
-to enjoy--should not have been aggrieved, wounded, because I only
-endured. Again,--I am not unjust,--it was not all high thinking; she had
-her schemes for my amusement--_d'une simplicité!_ Really, for such a
-clever woman, Mamma can be dull! And the people we knew! We had a
-right--you know it--to _le vrai grand monde_. You know it, and you are
-trying, now, to help me to it. But Mamma did not try. With a little
-management she might have regained her place in it; but no--her pride
-again! She seemed to think that _she_ was _le grand monde_, and that I
-ought to be satisfied with that! And now, with all this, you think it
-strange--_disgusting_--that when I saw that Daunay--_le pauvre!_--was in
-love with me I should ask him to continue to the daughter the aid that
-he had extended to the father! There again, for a clever woman, Mamma is
-dull--though her dullness has been to my advantage. She can make money,
-she can avoid spending it, but she has little conception of its value;
-she does the housekeeping, and, after that, she leaves the management of
-our resources to me. She is funnily gullible about the price of my
-clothes; the lessons I give would hardly keep me in shoes and
-stockings--as I understand shoes and stockings!" Claire laughed. "This
-dress that I have on--Mamma imagines it is made by a little dressmaker
-whom I am clever enough to guide with my taste. I take out the name on
-the waist-band and she is none the wiser. This dress is a Doucet." There
-was now quite a blithe complacency in Claire's voice. "And I have always
-considered myself amply excusable," she went on, "in accepting the small
-pleasures that life offered me. Of course it has really not been much
-that I have been able to accept--though he would willingly--and he is
-not rich--give more. Jewels, for instance, I have never dared
-attempt--nor even many dresses; that would have been incautious. For
-Mamma, of course, must never know; she would be inexpressibly shocked. I
-can see her face!"
-
-So could Damier. He was conscious of almost a wish to be brutal to
-Claire, physically brutal--to strike her to the dust where she dragged
-the image of his well beloved; but, after a moment, he said in a voice
-quiet enough: "You must tell her now; you must tell her everything."
-
-Claire stopped short in the path. "Tell her!"
-
-"You must, indeed." The full rigor of his eyes met the astonishment of
-hers.
-
-"Never!" said Claire, and in French, as if for a more personal and
-intimate emphasis, she repeated: "_Jamais!_"
-
-"I will, then; it is an outrage not to tell her."
-
-Their eyes measured each other's resolution.
-
-"If you do," said Claire, "shall I tell you with what I retaliate? I
-will run away with Monsieur Daunay. Yes; I speak seriously. I would
-prefer not to be pushed to that extremity, but I sometimes think that I
-am getting a little tired of respectability _au quatrième_. It isn't
-good enough, as you English say; I get no interest on my investment. To
-tell her! Now, of all times, when I so need the money, when the small
-gaieties and pleasures you have brought into my life depend on my having
-it, making an appearance! She would not let me take it. She would be
-glacial--and firm. Oh, I have had scenes with her! I could not stand any
-more."
-
-For once Claire was fully vehement, her cheeks flaming, her eyes at once
-threatening and appealing. He could hardly believe her serious, and yet
-she silenced him--indeed, she terrified him. Claire read the terror in
-his wide eyes and whitening lips. Her look suddenly grew soft, humorous.
-She slipped her hand inside his arm.
-
-Involuntarily he started from her, then, repenting, for even while he so
-loathed her he had never found her so piteous, "I beg your pardon--but
-you horrify me too much."
-
-"Come, come," she said, and, unresentfully, though with some
-determination, she secured his arm, "don't take me _au pied de la
-lettre_. I am not really in earnest; you know that; I had to use a
-threat--had to frighten you. Come." That she had been able so thoroughly
-to frighten him seemed to have restored in her her old air of
-complacent mastery. "You are wide-minded, clever, kind. Don't misjudge
-me. Don't push me to the wall. Don't apply impossible standards to me.
-See me as I am. By nature, by temperament, I am simply a bohemian. It
-isn't my fault if my mother happens to be a saint, and a horribly
-well-bred saint; it really isn't my fault if she has handed on to me
-neither of those qualities. I am perfectly frank with you. From the
-first I felt that I could be frank with you; I felt that you understood
-me; don't tell me now that I was mistaken."
-
-"I do understand you," said Damier, "but you horrify me none the less."
-
-"I horrify you because I am a creature thwarted, distorted; nothing is
-more ugly or repulsive--but if I had had a chance!"
-
-"What would a chance have done for you? You have had every chance to be
-noble and loving and happy--yes, happy."
-
-"But not in my own way!--not in my own way!" she cried, and now she
-clasped both hands on his arm and leaned against his shoulder as she
-looked into his face. "I needed power and wealth--all the real
-foundations of happiness and nobility. Then--ah, then I should have
-blossomed. Or else, failing them, I needed liberty and joy--the life of
-a bohemian. I have had neither the one nor the other, and if I seem
-almost wicked to you it is because of that; for, to me, wickedness means
-going against one's nature. I have always been forced to go against
-mine; I have never had a chance."
-
-Damier gave a mirthless laugh. "On the contrary, to me wickedness means
-going with one's nature."
-
-"Ah, there we differ; and yet we understand."
-
-Again he had that feeling of perplexity and irritation. Her eyes, the
-clasp of her hands upon his arm, irked and troubled him, and without,
-now, any sense of glamour in the trouble and irritation. She seemed to
-make too great a claim upon his understanding, and to rely too much
-upon some conviction of her own charm that could dare any frankness just
-because it was so sure of triumph. He felt that at the moment he did not
-understand her; he felt, too, that he did not want to--that he was tired
-of understanding her.
-
-"You are an unhappy creature, Claire," he said. They were nearing the
-Porte Dauphine, and while he spoke with a full yet distant gravity,
-Damier looked about for a fiacre. "An unhappy creature with an
-unawakened soul."
-
-"Will you try to wake it, the poor thing?" asked Claire. She still held
-his arm, though he had tried to disengage it, and though she spoke
-softly, there was a vague hardness in her eyes, as though she felt the
-new hardness in him, though as yet not quite interpreting its finality.
-
-"I shouldn't know how to: I am helpless before it. It should be made to
-suffer," he said. A cab had answered his summons, and he handed her into
-it. "No, I cannot go home with you," he said. "Are you going home?"
-
-"I am going to lunch with old Mademoiselle Daunay, and see Monsieur
-Daunay there. I had no chance to speak to him last night." Claire,
-sitting straightly in the open cab, had an expression of perplexity and
-of growing resentment on her face; but as he merely bowed and was about
-to turn away, she started forward and put her hand on his shoulder.
-
-"Are you going to make it suffer?" she asked. He looked into her eyes.
-He did not understand her, but he saw in them a demand at once alluring
-and threatening. His one instinct was to deny strongly whatever she
-demanded, though he did not know what that was.
-
-"I have no mission toward your soul, Claire," he said. For another
-moment the eyes that threatened and allured dwelt on his; then, calling
-out the address to the cabman, she was driven away.
-
-
-
-
-XIV
-
-
-ON Damier's return to his hotel early in the afternoon,
-he found a note from Madame Vicaud awaiting him. "Monsieur Daunay has
-just been here," it said, "and destiny has strangely brought this matter
-to a crisis. His wife is dead, and he has asked me for Claire's hand,
-feeling that his false position toward me demanded an immediate
-reparation. He hopes and believes that she loves him; but this, as both
-you and I must know, is impossible. I am saddened and confused by the
-whole situation. I do not blame them, but to me it is all displeasing,
-even shocking--this haste to profit by the wife's opportune death most
-of all. Will you come and see me? Claire is lunching at his cousin's,
-and he will find her there. I told him to speak to her himself, as I
-felt that to act the maternal part of intermediary between them would
-now be mere formalism and affectation; so I am alone. You will want to
-speak to me, I know."
-
-Damier, as he drove to the Rue B----, speculated on the rather
-mystifying significance of the last sentence. He always wanted to speak
-to her: that she must know; but why now in particular? Since his
-interview with Claire that morning he had felt almost too shaken by pity
-for the mother to trust himself with her. He would not be able to help
-her with counsel and consolation; he would not be able to think of
-Claire; and at this turning-point in Claire's life it was for that that
-the mother needed him.
-
-He found her standing in the salon, evidently pausing to meet him, in a
-restless pacing to and fro. Her eyes dwelt on him gently and very
-gravely while she took his hand.
-
-"Who could have expected this swift dénouement? But it is best," she
-said, "and I pitied him very deeply."
-
-"Pitied him--for the past, you mean?" Damier questioned.
-
-"Oh, for the future more!"
-
-Damier wondered over her eyes, over the something tremulous in her
-smile.
-
-"I saw Claire this morning," he said. "We talked over the matter; she
-wished to see me."
-
-Madame Vicaud showed no surprise at this piece of information. "Ah, yes;
-I understand," she said.
-
-"She certainly told me that she did not love him," Damier went on, "and
-yet--" He paused, not quite knowing how to put to her his hope that
-Claire now would reconsider the situation, his hope that she would marry
-Monsieur Daunay.
-
-It would be the solution of all difficulties, the best solution
-possible, and the situation could then be defined anew in terms that he
-more and more deeply longed for. He hardly dared, even yet, before her
-unconsciousness, define it, and turning away from her, he walked down
-the room, urging himself to a courage great enough to enable him now to
-speak to her what was in his heart. Madame Vicaud was watching him
-thoughtfully when he faced her again at the end of the room, and with
-still that look of controlled emotion.
-
-"I, also, have something to tell you," he said.
-
-"Yes," she assented quietly, yet with the look evidently braced,
-steeled, in preparation for what she was to hear.
-
-"Can you guess?" he asked.
-
-She was standing now, strangely, in the attitude of the little
-photograph--leaning on the back of a high chair; and her eyes recalled
-yet more strangely the intentness of the picture's eyes as she said:
-"You have come to tell me that you love my daughter?"
-
-He was so deeply astonished, so completely thrown back upon himself,
-that for a long moment he could only gaze helplessly into the eyes'
-insolubility.
-
-"No," he said at last; "I did not come to tell you that."
-
-"But you do love her?" Madame Vicaud inquired, with something of gentle
-urgency in her voice, as though she helped his shyness. "Be frank with
-me, my friend; I have guessed so much more, seen so much more, than you
-told me or showed me. Even with all that saddens you, that pains you,
-you do love her--enough to overlook the pain and sadness?"
-
-"No," said Damier, still facing her from his distance, "I do not love
-her. I have never needed to overlook anything."
-
-Plainly it was her turn to be astonished, thrown back upon herself.
-
-"But, from the beginning, has that not been your meaning?"
-
-"You, only, have been my meaning."
-
-He saw that her thought, in its disarray, could not pause upon his
-interpretation of these words. She had straightened herself, both hands
-on the chair-back, and her wide gaze, her parted lips, and the vivid
-wonder and surmise in her face made her look curiously young.
-
-"You have, from the first, been so much with her--seemed to take so much
-interest in her--seemed so to understand her; she was so open--so
-intimate--"
-
-"She is your daughter."
-
-"But that, I thought, added to the certainty: you must, I thought, love
-my daughter--"
-
-He was forced to beat a retreat for a moment of disentanglement; and,
-suddenly, disentanglement seemed to demand a cutting sincerity.
-
-"I don't, in the very least, love Claire; I have never, in the very
-least, loved her; I have only been sorry for her."
-
-"Sorry for her? Because of her dull, bleak life? Ah, have I not been
-sorry, too?"
-
-"But I not for that," said Damier, "not for that; but because she made
-me so sorry for you; because"--and he looked at her--"because you do not
-love her."
-
-He was still at a distance from her, and across it her look met his in
-a long silence.
-
-Then a strange, a tragic thing happened to her. He had before seen her
-flush faintly; but it was now a deep, an agonizing blush that slowly
-rose and darkened in her face. The revelation of look and blush was long
-before she leaned her elbows on the chair-back and covered her face with
-her hands.
-
-"Forgive me!" Damier murmured. He felt as if he had stabbed her. He came
-to her, and, half kneeling on the chair before her, he longed, but did
-not dare, to put his arms around her and sweep away this complication,
-and all the others--ah, the others?--the years and years of them that
-rolled between them!--in a full and final confession. "Forgive me for
-seeing--it is not your fault; it is my clear-sightedness--"
-
-She made no reply.
-
-"You try to understand her, but she is alien to you. She tears at every
-fiber of you. There is nothing in her that does not hurt you," Damier
-said, hastening to speak all the truth, since the moment inevitably had
-come for it.
-
-Madame Vicaud lifted her head.
-
-"I do understand her," she said. She did not look at him. Straightening
-her shoulders, drawing a long breath, she walked away from him to the
-window; there, her back to him, she added, the truth seemingly forced
-from her as it had been from him, "And I hate her."
-
-Damier remained leaning against the chair. The situation, in its
-strangeness, dazed him. But looking at her figure, dark against the
-light, he was able to say: "I even guessed that--almost."
-
-"Yet you do not hate her," she said, after a pause of some moments,
-speaking without moving or turning her head.
-
-Damier paused too. "I have not your reasons," he said at last.
-
-"Ah, my reasons! Yes." She turned to him now, as though she saw in him
-an accusing world, and faced it in an attitude of desperate
-self-justification.
-
-"They began with her father," said Damier.
-
-"I hated him," she said. Her eyes looked through him, fixed on the abyss
-of the past. "I hated him. He was abhorrent to me. I lived with him for
-fifteen years--fifteen long, long years. I bore his brutality, his
-wickedness--I am not the woman to use the word prudishly--I can make
-allowances--wide ones--for temperament, environment, all the mitigating
-causes: but my husband's wickedness was unimaginably vile; to see it
-stained one's thoughts." The memory of it, as she spoke, had chilled her
-to a drawn and frozen pallor; it was as though the blighting breath of
-the past went across her face, aging it, emptying it of life.
-
-"I bore the ruin he brought; that was nothing--a spur to love, had love
-been possible. I bore his serene, inflexible selfishness. The only thing
-I would not bear"--and she still looked full at Damier, but with the
-same unseeing largeness of gaze--"was his love. _His_ love!" She turned
-and walked across the room. Damier felt his own flesh shudder as he
-looked behind the curtain her words lifted, felt his own heart freeze in
-the aching sympathy of its comprehension. He could not speak to her. It
-seemed to him that she stood at a great distance from him and would not
-hear him. Her voice, when she spoke again, had less of its haunting
-terror, but it still thrilled with a deep and tragic note: "All this, as
-thousands of women have done, because it was my duty--to help him--to
-uphold him--to stand by him unflinchingly, and--because he was _her_
-father. You said that my reasons for hating her began with him. Ah, but
-he was my reason for loving her so desperately--with such a longing to
-atone to her for him. I gave her all the love he had crushed out of me.
-You see his picture there; I have schooled myself, so that she may not
-feel the smirch of him through my horror, to bear the sight of him, to
-say to myself every day, 'That is the face I loved.' Oh, what
-madness!--what madness!" She pressed her hands hard upon her eyes. "Some
-day, perhaps,--since I tell you everything,--I will tell you that story,
-too--my love-story. The memory of it is like a block of lead upon my
-heart." Her hands fell, but the memory made her silent, and for a long
-moment she stood looking down. "But all was hidden from her: the
-dread,--that soon passed--I was the stronger, he came to feel it, dread
-fell from me,--the hate that followed it, and the final, the terrible
-pity,--for I came to pity him when he hung about my life, helpless, like
-a torn and dirty rag,--all that was hidden from her. I kept her lifted
-out of the mud he dragged us down to; she never saw its depths. While he
-lived, and while he was dying,--and horrible to see and hear,--she was
-at a school. Those days!" She paused and turned away, and then went on:
-"It was in the winter. Lessons fell away; there was the school, the
-doctor, all the expenses of an illness to be met. I went into the
-streets of nights, a man carrying my harp, and sang for money; I had a
-voice till then, and I braved more than the snow and the night to do it:
-I was still beautiful. This that you may see how I loved her, how I
-struggled for her, how like any mother, though now I seem so hard--so
-hideously unnatural. Ah, I fought--I cannot tell you, you cannot guess,
-how I fought for her. And then, he died, and then there was for me peace
-and the blossoming of delicious hope. She and I together, saved from the
-wreck. It seemed to me that I had battled through waves, past rocks and
-whirlpools, holding her to my breast, and had reached the shore at
-last--she alive for me, and I for her. And then--ah, then! The
-shipwreck, the years of struggle, were crude tragedy to my gradual
-realizing of the subtle disaster that was to poison my life forever.
-Year by year I saw it coming--I saw him creeping into her. I saw the
-grave purpose settle round her lips--the steady greed for self. I saw
-his smile in her eyes; his eyes were beautiful like hers: when I first
-looked at them, I thought them full of splendid dreams, noble strength.
-She was not cruel, or brutal, or vicious, as he had been. She submitted
-placidly; she submitted, and I hoped for happiness. I could not make her
-happy or unhappy. I meant nothing to her except the thing that fed and
-clothed her. She took what I could give, and waited for what I could not
-give. She lied only when the truth would not serve her purpose better;
-so, often, she was frank with me. Her grave laugh maddened me, and her
-indifferent adapting of herself to me--for expediency, not for love. If
-only she had become a gentle and beautiful animal, to guard from its own
-instincts! but she is an animal of such hideous intelligence; she knows
-when I try to guard her, and evades me. Like him, she is corrupt to the
-core of her; not--do not misunderstand me--that she would do wrong in a
-conventional sense--and that it is conventional wrong-doing that I
-dread she has always pretended to read into my horror of evil, making a
-plaster saint of me so that she may more easily evade the deeply
-understanding woman of flesh and blood. Hers is the worse corruption,
-that calculates chances, chooses and manages. It is there in her, I
-know, though, in its worst forms, latent still--I think."
-
-Damier, white already, felt himself blanch before the rapid glance, like
-a sword-stroke across his face, that she cast upon him. She guessed at
-all his knowledge.
-
-Again she turned away and walked up and down the room.
-
-"Hideous, hideous that I should speak so to you, and to you I hoped, yet
-dreaded--You will wonder how I could have hoped it; how, knowing this, I
-should not have warned you. But at first I did not think it possible,
-though I knew her charm; at first I did not understand you, and, not
-understanding, I guarded you. And then I saw your generous, your
-pitiful heart, and I saw that it understood Claire, that perhaps you
-understood her better than I did. With you she was her best self; she
-trusted you, it seemed, so utterly. I hoped that yours was the clearer
-vision, that I was warped, no longer capable of true seeing. Yet, when
-the friendship that I rejoiced in grew, as I thought, into love, there
-was a terrible struggle in me. My strong attachment to you--you who had
-opened the prison gates that shut me into my misery, who brought me out
-of a loneliness so long, so bitter--ah! my friend, do not think that I
-have not seen and felt it all; but I could not speak to you as I might
-have spoken had it not been for that struggle in me between the justice
-owed to you--yet that you did not seem to need--and the duty to her--not
-to withhold, for your sake, a possibility that might redeem her. My mind
-was fixed in that struggle; of our friendship, yours and mine, I could
-not think clearly. If you had been ignorant, if she had hidden herself
-from you, I should have sacrificed her unflinchingly to you; I should
-have interposed and shown her to you. But she showed herself to you. I
-knew, from my knowledge of you, that she would not attract you as she
-attracts most men, not nobly. I saw from her looks with you, her words,
-that she would make no efforts so to attract you. I must say all to you,
-since you must understand all. Claire does not love you, but you attract
-what is best in her. She relies, I have guessed it, upon the very pathos
-of her moral ugliness to enchant you, to arouse in you the chivalrous,
-redemptive qualities she sees in you. And I grew to hope that you saw
-something that I could not see. I even began to feel a blind, groping
-tenderness for her through your fancied tenderness; and as I allowed
-myself to hope that you loved her, I allowed myself to have faith in the
-redeeming power of your love."
-
-She stood before him now, looking at him with saddest eyes; and Damier,
-answering them, shook his head.
-
-"Alas, no. It would have been my story over again, the positions
-reversed, and you without my illusions, had you loved her, married her;
-and yet, it was because you had no illusions that I hoped."
-
-But Damier could not think of dead hopes.
-
-"What you have suffered!" he said.
-
-"Yes," Madame Vicaud answered, "I have suffered; but do not, in your
-kindness, your tenderness, exaggerate. I have suffered, but all has not
-been black. There have been flowers on the uphill road. I don't believe
-in a woe that is blind to them, or to the sky overhead."
-
-But she still stood looking at dead hopes, not thinking of him.
-
-"Clara," said Damier.
-
-She was a woman of deep understanding, yet even now,--and hardly was it
-to be wondered at, so lifted through its very intensity was his love for
-her above love's ordinary manifestations,--even now her name so gravely
-spoken by him had no further meaning for her than the one openly,
-proudly, joyously accepted, the meaning of the strange tie that had
-united them; but, while she accepted it, his look startled her. It
-showed nothing new, but seemed to interpret newly something she had not
-recognized before. Smiling faintly, she said:
-
-"You have a right."
-
-"Not the right I would have." He felt no excitement, only the enraptured
-solemnity that a soul might feel in some quiet dawn of heaven on finding
-another soul parted from years ago on earth--long sought for, long
-loved.
-
-She said nothing, her dark eyes fixing him with a wonder that was
-already a recognition.
-
-"I love you," said Damier. He had not moved toward her, nor had she
-moved away. A little distance separated them, and they stood silently
-looking at each other.
-
-"You mean--" she said at last.
-
-"I mean in every way in which it is possible for a man to love the woman
-he worships."
-
-The whirl of her mind mirrored itself in the stricken stupefaction of
-her wan, beautiful features. She caught at one flashing thought. "And
-I--her mother! You might have been my son!"
-
-"No; I might not," Damier affirmed.
-
-"By age; I am old enough."
-
-"I know your age; you are forty-seven," said Damier, able to smile at
-her, "and I am thirty. If you were seventy-seven, the only difference
-would be that I could have fewer years to spend with you; I should wish
-to spend them just the same. As it is, your age does not make us
-ludicrous before the world, if we were to consider that."
-
-At this she turned from him as if in impatience at this quibbling, and
-her own endurance of it, at such a moment.
-
-"My friend! That this should have happened to you!"
-
-"Can it never happen to you?" he asked.
-
-"I would never allow it to happen to me."
-
-"It would not be to look up at the sky--it would not even be to stoop to
-a flower?"
-
-"I would not allow myself to look, or to stoop, knowing that after I had
-looked and gathered, the flower would wither, the sky be black."
-
-He saw, as she gazed steadily round at him, that the gaze was through
-tears. Clasping his hands with a supplication that was, indeed, more the
-worshiper's than the lover's, Eustace said:
-
-"But would you--would you stoop?"
-
-"I cannot answer that; I cannot think the answer. Your friendship has
-led me away from the rocky wastes into the sweetest, the serenest
-meadows." Though she spoke with complete self-mastery, the tears ran
-down as she said these words, and she turned her face away. "I should be
-culpable indeed if I allowed you to lead me aside into a fool's
-paradise, with a precipice waiting for you in the middle of it. I shall
-be an old woman while you are still a young man."
-
-"Beloved woman, can you not believe that, young or old, you are the same
-to me? I have not fallen in love with you--I have found you. When I saw
-your face in the old picture I knew that it was mine."
-
-"The face of a girl. I was nineteen then."
-
-"Do not juggle with the truth. Your face now is dearer to me than the
-girl's face. Your heart, I believe, is nearer mine than you know. That
-struggle in you when you imagined that I loved Claire, was it not, in
-part, the struggle of a sacrifice? Did you not submit because you
-thought that the side of self-sacrifice must be the right side?"
-
-Still her face was turned from him, and after a silence she said,
-"Perhaps."
-
-"And if this were our last moment--if there were no question of age or
-of going on--then--then would you tell me that you have felt something
-of my feeling--the finding--the recognition--the rapture--own to it with
-joy?"
-
-She turned to him now and looked at him, at his eager, solemn face, the
-supplication and worship of his clasped hands, looked for a long time,
-without speaking. But her face, though she was so white and so grave,
-seemed, as she looked, to reflect, with a growing radiance, the youth in
-his.
-
-"I have felt it," she said at last, "but I have hardly known that I felt
-it."
-
-"You know now?"
-
-"Yes, I know now."
-
-"You could own to it--with joy?"
-
-"If this were our last moment.--Ah, my friend!" He had taken her into
-his arms.
-
-The long years drifted away like illusions before an awakening. Her
-girl-hood--but weighted with such dreams of sorrow and loneliness!--seemed
-with her again. She was helpless, though her heart reproached him and
-herself, yet could not wholly reproach--helpless in a happiness poignant
-and exquisite. They kissed each other gently, and, his arms around her,
-they looked earnestly at each other. Speechlessly they looked the
-finding, the recognition, the rapture.
-
-The meeting in heaven had come; but there was still the earth to be
-counted with.
-
-
-
-
-XV
-
-
-AS they heard the tinkle of the entrance-bell, Claire's
-voice, her step outside, Madame Vicaud moved away from Damier. She was
-seated in a chair near the table, and the young man stood beside her,
-when Claire entered.
-
-Claire paused in the doorway and looked sullenly, yet hardly
-suspiciously, at them. She had never worn a mask for Damier, yet he saw
-in her flushed and somber face something new to him, saw that she lacked
-some quality--was it confidence, indifference, placidity?--that he had
-always found in her. He guessed in a moment that her interview with
-Monsieur Daunay had not been a propitious one.
-
-"I did not expect to see you so soon again, and under such suddenly
-changed circumstances," she said to him. "What are you talking about?
-Me?" She took off her hat,--the day was sultry,--pushed up her thick
-hair, and dropped her length of ruffled, clinging white into a chair.
-"So; I have seen Monsieur Daunay. He lost no time, it seems. He asked my
-hand of you first, I hear, Mamma, in proper form--_très
-convenablement_."
-
-"Yes," Madame Vicaud assented with composure.
-
-"It seems that you discouraged him."
-
-"I could not encourage him from what you had told me, but from what he
-told me it seems that you did not discourage him," the mother answered.
-
-"I have never been in a position to discourage any useful possibility,"
-said Claire.
-
-Madame Vicaud, in silence, and with something of a lion-tamer's calm
-intentness of eye, looked at her daughter; and Claire, after meeting the
-look with one frankly hostile, turned her eyes on Damier.
-
-"And it seems that you, last night, did not discourage Monsieur Daunay's
-hopes; he spoke of you with gratitude. What have you to say to it all
-now?"
-
-"I have nothing to say to it; it has always been your affair--yours and
-his."
-
-"You made it yours, it seems to me!"
-
-"Unwillingly."
-
-"Oh--unwillingly!" Claire laughed her ugliest laugh. "I don't understand
-you, Mr. Damier--I began not to understand you this morning"; and, as he
-made no reply:
-
-"Your present silence doesn't accord with your past interference."
-
-"My silence? What do you expect me to say?" Damier asked, with real
-wonder, forgetting the mother's intimations.
-
-"Can you deny that--apart from your feelings of angered propriety--you
-were pitifully jealous last night and this morning? I had to assure you
-again and again that I did not love him--the truth, as it happens."
-
-This speech now opened such vistas of interpretation to the past--of
-interrogation to the future--that Damier could only, speechlessly, look
-his wonder at her.
-
-"Were you not jealous?" she demanded.
-
-"Not in the faintest degree."
-
-Her flush deepened at this, an angry, not an embarrassed, flush.
-
-"And what, then, was your motive for prying, meddling, cross-questioning
-as you did? You had a motive?"
-
-"I have always had an interest in your welfare, Claire, but your mother
-was my motive for meddling and cross-questioning, as you put it."
-
-"Oh--my mother!" Claire tossed her a look where she sat, her arms
-folded, near the table. "You were afraid for my honor since hers was
-involved in it? Was that it?"
-
-"Perhaps that was it--and for the same reason I beg you to spare your
-mother now."
-
-Claire leaned back in her chair and fixed upon him a heavy stare above
-her heavy flush. "Come," she said, "I have never had pretenses with
-you--I have always been frank. Do you intend to marry me? There it is
-clearly; I have no false delicacy, and, bon Dieu! you have given me
-every right to ask the question."
-
-Madame Vicaud, soundless at the table, now leaned her elbows upon it and
-covered her face with her hands. "Come," Claire repeated, casting
-another look upon her; "for Mamma's sake, you owe me an answer. Spare
-her the shame--she feels it bitterly, you observe--of seeing my
-outrageous uncertainty prolonged. Haven't you spent all your time with
-me? Haven't you taken upon yourself a position of authority toward
-me--made my affairs your own? Aren't you going to--how would Mamma put
-it?--redeem me--lift me? Or are you going to let my soul suffer a little
-longer?"
-
-"You could hardly speak so, Claire, if you spoke sincerely," said
-Damier; "you may once have misinterpreted my friendship for you, but you
-no longer misinterpret it. I have never intended to marry you. It is
-you, remember, who force me into this ugly attitude. I could not face
-you in it, were I not sure that your feeling for me has always been as
-free from anything amorous as mine for you."
-
-"I don't speak of my feeling for you!" Claire cried in a voice suddenly
-loud, leaning forward with her elbows on the arms of her chair, "but of
-yours for me! It is not there now--I see it plainly, and I see plainly
-why! She--_she_--has been talking to you against me!--telling you about
-some childish follies in my life!--making you believe that I would not
-be a fit wife for you! Ah, yes!--I know her!" Claire pointed a shaking
-finger at her mother. "She would think it her duty to protect you
-against me--I know her!"
-
-"Be still," said Damier in his voice of steel.
-
-Claire, for a moment, sank back, panting, defiant, but silent before it.
-
-"You are conscious of your own falsehood, but you can scarcely be
-conscious of how base and vile you are. Your mother, when I came to-day,
-was hoping that I had come to ask her for your hand; she believed that I
-loved you, and hoped it."
-
-Claire, in her sullen recoil, still remained sunken and panting in her
-chair.
-
-"Well, then! And what have you got to say to us both, then, if you gave
-us both cause for such a supposition? What have you meant by it all?"
-
-"What I meant from the beginning I can best define by telling you that
-to-day I asked your mother to marry me."
-
-Claire sat speechless and motionless. The words seemed to have arrested
-thought, and to have nailed her to her chair. Damier looked at Madame
-Vicaud. Her hands had dropped from her face, and she met his eyes.
-
-"The truth was allowed me?" he said.
-
-"It is always allowed," she answered.
-
-Her face was so stricken, so ghastly, that Damier, almost forgetting in
-his great solicitude the hateful presence in the room, leaned over her,
-taking her hand.
-
-"Bear it. It is better to have it all over. And, in a sense, it is my
-own fault. I should have spoken to you sooner--defined what I meant from
-the first."
-
-"So," Claire said suddenly. Her smoldering eyes, while they spoke, had
-gone from one to the other. "So; this is what it all meant! Indeed, I
-cannot blame myself for not having guessed it. You in love with my
-mother! Or, shall we not more truthfully say, she in love with you?--the
-explanation, as a rule, you know, of these odd amorous episodes. I begin
-to understand. I did not suspect a rival in my own mother. Clever
-Mamma!"
-
-"Let this cease now," said Madame Vicaud, in a lifeless voice. "All has
-been said that it is necessary to say."
-
-"Indeed, no!" cried Claire. She sprang to her feet, braving Damier's
-menacing look, and stood before them with folded arms, defiantly, "All
-has not been said! I am to marry the middle-aged, middle-class man of
-small fortune, and you are to marry the _prince charmant_! Ah, don't
-think that I am in love with you, _prince charmant_, though I might have
-loved you had not my mother had such a keen eye for her own interests,
-and kept mine so dexterously in the background. I might have loved you
-had you been allowed to fall in love with me. Oh, I know what you would
-say!" Her voice rose to a shout as she interrupted his effort to speak.
-"How base, how vile, and how vulgar--_n'est-ce pas_? A girl clamoring
-over the loss of a husband! Shocking! Well, I own to my vulgarity. I did
-want to marry you. You have money, position--all the things I never hid
-from you that I liked; and you interested me, and I liked you, and I
-could be myself with you. My mother has always been too dainty to secure
-a husband for me--arrange my future: I have had to do all the ugly work
-myself; and I liked you because--just because I had to do no ugly work
-with you. And I clamor now--not because I have lost you--no, it's not
-that; but because she--_she_ has made her goodness serve her so!--has
-made it pay where my frankness failed. She is good, if you will; but I
-tell you that I prefer my vulgarity--my baseness--my vileness to her
-clever virtue; or is it an unconquerable passion with you, Mamma?--is it
-to be a _mariage d'amour_ rather than a _mariage de convenance_?"
-
-While Claire spoke, her mother, as if mesmerized by her fury, sat
-looking at her with dilated eyes and a fixed face--a face too fixed to
-show anguish. Rather it was as if, with an intense, spellbound interest,
-she hung upon her daughter's words, hardly feeling, hardly flinching
-before her insults, hardly conscious of each whip-like lash that struck
-her face to a more death-like whiteness. Now, drawing a breath that was
-almost a gasp, she leaned forward over the table, stretching her arms
-upon it and clasping her hands. "Claire, Claire!" she said, with a
-hurried, staccato utterance, "I see it all with your eyes--I understand.
-You have had something really dear taken from you--not love, perhaps,
-but a true friendship; that is so, isn't it? He seems to have turned
-against you,--isn't it so?--and through me. There is in you an anger
-that seems righteous to you. How cruel to have our best turned against
-us! I see all that. Ah, no, no! Let me speak to her!" For, Claire
-keeping the hardened insolence of her stare upon her, Damier, full of a
-passionate, protecting resentment, put his arm around her shoulders,
-took her hand. She threw off the hand, the arm, almost cruelly. "Let me
-speak to my child! Don't come between us now--now when we may come
-together, she and I. Yes, Claire, he loves me,--you see it,--too much,
-perhaps, to be just to you, though he has been so just--more just than I
-have been, perhaps; he has been so truly your friend. But now I am
-just. I am your mother. I can understand. I love him, Claire, yes, I
-love him; but I understand you. I will never do anything to part us
-further--understand me! I will never marry him against your will. Oh,
-Claire, try to understand me--try to trust me--try to love me!" She rose
-to her feet, her face ardent with the upsurging of all her longing
-motherhood, its sudden flaming into desperate hope through the deep
-driftings of ashen hopelessness; and as if swayed forward by this flame
-of hope, this longing of love, this ardor, she leaned toward her child,
-stretched out her arms toward her face of heavy impassivity. At the
-gesture, at her mother's last words, Claire's impassivity flickered into
-a half-ironic, half-pitying smile. But she did not advance to the
-outstretched arms. Merely looking at her with this searing pity, she
-said:
-
-"You would marry him to me if you could, wouldn't you?--you would, as
-usual, sacrifice yourself to me; as usual, your radiance would shine
-against my dark. Poor, magnanimous Mamma! No, no, no!" She turned and
-walked up and down the room. "No, no! I am tired of all this--tired of
-you; and you are tired of me. You will marry Mr. Damier. Why not, after
-all? Don't let scruples of conscience interfere, especially none on my
-account. It would not separate us: we are separated; we have always been
-separated, and that we are gives me no pain. But don't expect me either
-to live with you when you are married, or to marry my antique lover and
-settle down to the respectable, tepid joys he offers me. No, and no
-again. I will not marry him. I leave the respectability to you two
-excellent people." The glance she shot at them now as they stood
-together was pure irony. Her mother's pale and beautiful face still kept
-its look of frozen appeal, as though, while she made the appeal, she had
-been shot through the heart. Its beauty seemed to sting Claire where the
-appeal did not touch, and, too, Damier's look, bent on her with a quiet
-that defied her and all she signified, stung her, perhaps, more deeply.
-
-"My poor chances can't compete with yours, Mamma," she muttered. "Let me
-tell you that despair becomes you." She took up her hat.
-
-"Where are you going, Claire?" Madame Vicaud asked in her dead voice.
-
-"Don't be alarmed. Not to the Seine. I am going to a tea with Mrs.
-Wallingham. I shall be back to dinner. You will admit me?"
-
-"I shall always admit you."
-
-"Good." Claire was putting in her hat-pins before the mirror. "That is
-reassuring. Console her, Mr. Damier. Try to atone to her for me--bad as
-I am, I am sure that you can do so. Ah, I don't harmonize with a
-love-scene!--it was one I interrupted, I suppose. Let me take my
-baseness--my vileness--from before you." Her hand on the door, she
-paused, fixing a last look upon them; then, with a short laugh, she
-said, "Accept my blessing," and was gone.
-
-
-
-
-XVI
-
-
-MADAME VICAUD said nothing. She drew her hand from
-Damier's and sank again into the chair from which she had risen. Hope,
-ardor, and love, forever perhaps, were dead within her. She had hated
-her daughter, but under the hatred had been, always, the hidden flame,
-not, perhaps, of love, but of longing to love. She hated no longer, and
-the flame was quenched. Even in his nearness to her, Damier could not
-look with her at that slain longing. Walking away from her, he stood for
-a long time, gazing unseeingly over the garden, in silence. At last he
-turned and came to her. Her arm leaned on the table and her head upon
-her hand. With unutterable weariness she looked up at him.
-
-"And now," she said, "you must go, my friend."
-
-"Go?" Damier repeated.
-
-Years of resolute endurance looked from her eyes; the weariness was not
-a wavering. Her face seemed sinking back into the abyss from which he
-had rescued it.
-
-"Yes, you must go."
-
-"And leave you with her!"
-
-"And leave me with her," she assented monotonously.
-
-"Never--never!"
-
-She passed her hand over her brow, pressing her eyelids, as if in the
-effort to dispel her deep fatigue and find words with which to answer
-his harassing protest.
-
-"Yet you must. I have the wonder, the treasure of your love for me. I
-will keep it always. I will never forget you. But it is impossible, even
-the friendship, now. We must not drag what is dear to us in the mire. I
-could not keep you as my friend under her eyes. I must live with her,
-and for her; that is the only life possible for me. I made it for
-myself. Whatever her cruelty, whatever her baseness, I have only to
-remember that I am responsible for her, that I am her only chance. And
-after this her presence in my life makes yours wrong. She knows now that
-you are not a friend only, and as a husband you could not remain. Such a
-_ménage à trois_ would be as detestable as it would be grotesque."
-
-"She will marry!" cried Damier. "She must marry Monsieur Daunay."
-
-"I do not think that she will marry him; but if she does marry, I could
-not separate my life from hers, though then I could see you again, but
-as friend, as friend only."
-
-Damier burst out into a smothered invective:
-
-"And you think of sacrificing the rest of your life to that
-creature--who has no love for you--whom you cannot love! What can you do
-for her? You can never change or soften her."
-
-He felt that the vehemence of his despair and rebellion dashed itself
-against a rocky inflexibility, although she still bent her head upon her
-hand with the same deep weariness, not looking at him, still spoke on
-with the same monotonous patience:
-
-"I cannot call the fulfilling of the most rudimentary maternal duty a
-sacrifice. You forget that my youth is past, and that with it the time
-for sacrifices is past, too. I have no claims on life. Life, at my age
-and in my position, can only be a dedication. I can, perhaps, never
-soften or change her: but I can still protect her; I can still lend her
-the dignity, such as it is, of my home and my companionship. And I can
-pity her, most piteous creature--whose mother has no love for her."
-
-"Ah, you do not love me!" cried Damier, and all his youth was in the
-cry. "You sacrifice _me_ with such composure! You give yourself to have
-your life sucked out of you by this vampire shape of the past. And it is
-me you rob! It is my life you immolate, as well as your own! What of my
-claim on life--my claim on you? You have no conception of what you are
-to me, or you could not speak of shutting me out from you; you could not
-think of sending me away! You could not speak so--think so--if you loved
-me!"
-
-From her chair she now looked up at him, not with weariness, with a look
-curiously vivid and tender. "You speak like a boy," she said.
-
-Damier flung himself on his knees beside her. "And you think that I can
-leave you when you can look at me like that--love me like that!"
-
-"Because I do." She let him take her hands, and went on, almost smiling
-at him: "Because I love you like that, and because you love me like
-that, and because I am so much older than you--can't you feel it? how
-like a little boy--passionate, unruly in his grief--you seem to me! And
-because, in spite of my age and your boyishness, we do yet love each
-other so greatly that the very greatness of our love makes the question
-of our being together or apart really of not such significance."
-
-"Of not such significance!" poor Damier cried. "I am to find you in
-heaven, then!"
-
-"Probably." She did smile now, but he guessed that it was the brave
-smile she could summon over anguish. He guessed that her feeling of his
-boyishness was less apparent to her than her feeling of his power over
-her, his right to her. She might never yield to the power, never own to
-the right, but to guess that she felt them was assurance enough for the
-moment, and the pallor of the face that smiled at him was a reproach to
-him.
-
-"No, no," he said; "I shall keep you there--and I shall keep you here,
-too. I will rescue you. I will find out the way. And I will leave you
-now and give you peace for a little while. You are terribly tired."
-
-"Terribly," she assented. "It is kind and generous of you to go now."
-
-"But my going is to be taken as no token of submission. I will return."
-
-"To say good-by."
-
-"So you say."
-
-"So you will do." And she still smiled, all tenderness, all
-inflexibility.
-
-"Never, never, never!" said Damier.
-
-
-
-
-XVII
-
-
-DAMIER, for his own part, felt no need of peace. A
-passionate protestation, a passionate determination, filled him. At his
-hotel, as if in answer to vague plans and projects, the figure of
-Monsieur Daunay, rising from a chair, confronted him. From Monsieur
-Daunay's relief and alacrity he guessed that he had been waiting there
-for some time--ever since, he further guessed, his conversation with
-Claire.
-
-"You have heard?" asked Monsieur Daunay, and a host of questions looked
-from his eyes.
-
-"That you have proposed to Mademoiselle Vicaud, yes; and that she has
-answered you, I fear, not favorably; yes, I have heard."
-
-"You have seen her?"
-
-"I was with her mother, speaking with her of it, when Claire came."
-
-"I have intruded thus upon you," said Monsieur Daunay, "in the faint
-hope that you might be able, after seeing her, to give me some
-encouragement, since from her I could elicit none. She was sullen,
-silent, reproached me for my haste. After all these years!" Monsieur
-Daunay groaned, and dropped again into his chair, folding his arms and
-bowing his head in a despairing acquiescence to fate's cruelty. "After
-all these years!" he repeated.
-
-Damier saw down a long vista of them, sunny with the encouraging smiles
-of the charming Claire.
-
-"You have assured me," Daunay presently said, "that you were not the
-cause of this change in Claire."
-
-It was a rather perplexing question, but Damier was able truthfully to
-answer it with: "I can again assure you that it is only through her
-relation with her mother that Claire interests me."
-
-"And so she has assured me, again and again, and that all her affection
-was for me. And yet, now that I can claim her--now that I come, trusting
-and hoping, she turns from me; she mutters that I am too old; not rich
-enough. Ah, _mon Dieu_!"
-
-Claire, clearly, Damier also saw, had never endangered her certain hold
-upon Monsieur Daunay's usefulness by confessing to him her expectation
-of larger achievements. She would evade him, and hold him, as long as
-she had need of him.
-
-Part of her anger to-day had, no doubt, been due to the fact that the
-sudden crisis had forced her into a decisive attitude toward him while
-yet uncertain that she could with safety give him up. Yet, indeed, she
-had been able to avoid absolute decisiveness--so Monsieur Daunay's next
-words proved:
-
-"She told me that all her affection was still mine, but owned to higher
-ambitions; she had never, she said, hidden from me that she was
-ambitious, and life now was opening new possibilities to her. Could
-affection and ambition be combined, had I a large fortune to gild my
-middle age and my unimportance, she would at once marry me."
-
-"She is utterly unworthy of you," said Damier.
-
-At this a faint, ironic smile crossed the Frenchman's face. "Ah, _mon
-ami_," he said, "you need not tell me that. If I love Claire, do not
-imagine, as I told you last night, that I am blinded by my love. I love
-her _d'un amour fou_--and I recognize it. She possesses me; she can do
-what she will with me; I should forgive her anything. But I know that I
-am a captive--and to no noble captor."
-
-"Just heavens!" Damier broke out, indifferent, in his indignant pity, to
-his own interests, "shake off this obsession--and her with it! Leave
-her; go away; do not see her again. What misery if you were to marry
-her!"
-
-"What will you? I adore her!" His helplessness seemed final. He
-presently went on: "But I came to-day to ask for your help. You occupy
-a peculiar position toward Madame Vicaud and her daughter; you have
-influence with them both. Use it in my favor, I beg of you. Intercede
-for me."
-
-"Any influence I have shall, I promise you, be devoted to that purpose.
-I can hardly hope that your hopes will be realized; their realization
-could not be for your happiness. Pardon me, but have you never suspected
-that Claire is like her father--that she, too, is a miserable creature?"
-
-For a long moment Daunay looked at him.
-
-"She is like her father," he then said; "but have you never suspected,
-or, rather, do you not now see, that, because of that, my claim is all
-the stronger? What man not knowing it, marrying her in ignorance of it,
-would not repent? I should never repent. She is like him, if you will,
-but she is, irrevocably, the woman I love. More than that, she is the
-child I love; I have watched her grow up. From the beginning, she has
-been _ma petite Claire_; so she will be to the end--whatever that end
-may be."
-
-Monsieur Daunay spoke with a profound feeling, a profound sincerity that
-the emotional tremor of his voice, the emotional tears in his eyes, only
-made the more characteristic and touching to Damier. He got up and
-grasped the Frenchman's hand in silence.
-
-A knock at the door broke upon this compact of sympathy; a garçon
-brought a card to Damier and said that the lady waited for him in the
-salon below. The card was Lady Surfex's, and on it was written:
-
- Must see you at once, on most important matter concerning Madame V.
-
-"Wait for me here," Damier said to Monsieur Daunay. "This may concern
-you as well as me."
-
-He found Lady Surfex in the drearily gaudy salon, her face ominous of
-ill tidings.
-
-"My dear Eustace," she said,--they were alone, yet her voice was
-discreetly low,--"a horrid thing has happened--or is going to. I thought
-it best to come to you at once. Claire Vicaud runs away to-night with
-Lord Epsil."
-
-And, as he stared at her in stricken silence:
-
-"I found it out by chance. I was at Mrs. Wallingham's. They were
-there--Mademoiselle Vicaud and Lord Epsil. I watched them, indeed, with
-some uneasiness, as they sat, with ostentatious retirement, in a dim
-corner. I saw them go out together. Do you know, Eustace, my distrust of
-that girl and of that man--in justice to her, I must say it--was so
-great that I really was on the point of following them--asking her to
-let me drive her home; but I hesitated, people I knew came in, I had to
-speak to them, and so some time went by. Then, about half an hour after
-they were gone, Mrs. Wallingham came to me and whispered that a maid--a
-discreet English person who was dispensing tea in the dining-room--had
-overheard Lord Epsil saying to Mademoiselle Vicaud that they would take
-the night train to Dinard, and that his yacht was there. The woman came
-at once to her mistress. And now, Eustace, what can be done to save
-_her_?" They both knew to whom the pronoun referred; a conventional
-saving of Claire had significance only in reference to her mother.
-
-Damier was steadying his thoughts.
-
-"The night train." He looked at his watch. "There is time," he said.
-
-"For what, Eustace?"
-
-"There is only one chance. One can't appeal to her heart, or
-conscience--or even, it seems, to her ambition; but one might to her
-greed--offer her some firmer, surer competence. I had thought of it
-dimly before. I could catch that Dinard train--go with them--find some
-opportunity for seeing her alone before they reach Dinard--or before
-they reach the yacht."
-
-"But, Eustace," her helpless wonder reproached his baseless optimism,
-"what _could_ you do? You can't beard the man; she is of age--goes
-willingly. What a situation!"
-
-"I could offer her half of my income for life, if she would consent to
-return with me, and to marry a man who is devoted to her--who, I think,
-would forgive anything."
-
-"Eustace, it would leave you almost poor!"
-
-"Not quite, since the half is large enough, I trust, to tempt her! The
-whole would not be too much to give to save _her_ from this final blow."
-
-"But can you--this man--will he?"
-
-"He is up-stairs. I will see him, and start at once."
-
-"And, Eustace--wait; can't we keep it from her--can't we think of some
-good lie?"
-
-He had almost to smile at her intently thoughtful face.
-
-"What possible lie can we think of? Claire will not come back
-to-night--she must know, sooner or later."
-
-"But it is for to-night I want to spare her. Ah, I have it--no lie,
-either. I merely send a telegram, 'Claire may not return to-night: will
-explain to-morrow,' signed with my name; she will think Claire is
-passing the night with me; and then, you know, the girl may, at the last
-moment, decide not to go."
-
-Damier had to yield to her eagerness. Up-stairs the words he had with
-Daunay were short, bitter, decisive. Averting his eyes from the
-unfortunate man's face, he put the case before him. He turned his back
-on him when he had spoken, went to the window, left him to an unobserved
-quaffing of the poisonous cup.
-
-Monsieur Daunay's first words showed that he had quaffed it bravely and
-that his reason still stood firm.
-
-"She must be mad," he said; "it is not like her."
-
-"No, it is not like her. And I may tell you that I suspect revenge to be
-in part her motive. She had a terrible quarrel with her mother this
-afternoon."
-
-Damier turned now and faced him.
-
-"And now, Monsieur Daunay, are you willing to save her?"
-
-"I am ready," the Frenchman said quietly; "with your help, I am ready to
-save her."
-
-"I go at once, and with that assurance, then?"
-
-"Yes; I am ready. Tell her that. Tell her, too, that if her mother will
-not receive her, she will find a home at my cousin's until our marriage
-can take place."
-
-"Her mother will receive her," said Damier. "As you have forgiven, so
-she will forgive."
-
-
-
-
-XVIII
-
-
-THE long, hot, rushing hours had passed, for Damier, in
-a sort of stupor, the anæsthesia of one fixed idea. In the stuffy
-railway-carriage, his eyes on the dark square of the open window, where
-one saw vaguely the starlit depths of a midsummer night, he thought,
-with the odd detachment of a crisis, of the past day: the sunny morning
-walk with Claire--green leaves, purple shadows; the afternoon's supreme
-moment--a deep pulse of wonder in his heart, hardly to be seen in
-images; Lady Surfex among the palms and monstrous gilded pottery of the
-hotel salon; Monsieur Daunay's quiet, white face; the crowded Paris
-railway-station, and the glimpse he had caught in it of Claire and Lord
-Epsil. This most recent impression was also the most vivid, threw all
-the others into a blurred background where, with a new look of woe, only
-Madame Vicaud's face glimmered clearly.
-
-The enforced pause at the height of his resolution made both the past
-and the future half illusory. The present, with not its usual flashing
-impermanence, had, for hours, been the same, had stopped, as it were, at
-an instant of vigilant alertness, and held him in it rigidly. Until the
-object of that vigilance, that alertness, were attained, he could not
-look forward or make projects. The chance for seeing Claire alone could
-not come, probably, until Dinard was reached. There, in the hurry of
-arrival, he might snatch a word with her. It would only be necessary to
-speak the word, to put the alternative before her. Entreaty would be
-useless; all the argument possible was the chink of gold in two hands;
-all the hope, that his chink might be the louder.
-
-Shortly after ten o'clock the train drew up in the Rennes station.
-Damier had let no such opportunity escape him, and he again stepped from
-his compartment and stood looking toward the part of the train where he
-knew were Claire and her cavalier. As he looked he saw the tall figure
-of the Englishman stroll across the platform to the refreshment-buffet.
-The light fell full on his long, smooth, pink face,--a papier-mâché
-pink,--on his long, high nose and whity-brown mustache. Damier darted
-forward. In an instant he was at the door, still ajar, of the
-compartment that Lord Epsil had just left. He saw, under the yellow
-glare of the lamp, a confusion of traveling-bags, rugs, bandboxes
-(Claire had evidently shopped), newspapers and magazines; a large box of
-bonbons lay on a seat, its contents half rifled, its papers strewing the
-floor; and, settled back in a corner, her shoulders huddled together in
-a graceful sleepiness, was Claire. A long silk traveling-cloak fell over
-her white dress; the winged white hat of the morning was pushed a little
-to one side as her head leaned against the cushioned carriage; a
-drooping curve of loosened hair, shining in the light like molten brass,
-fell over her cheek and neck; her profile, half hidden, was at once
-petulant and relaxed with drowsiness.
-
-Damier did not hesitate. He sprang into the carriage. Not touching the
-girl, he leaned over her. "Claire," he said.
-
-In an instant she had started into erectness, staring stupefied, too
-stupefied for shame or anger.
-
-"I have only a moment," said Damier, speaking with a clear-cut dryness
-of utterance. "If you will come back with me, and marry Monsieur
-Daunay,--he knows all and will marry you,--half of my income is yours
-for life."
-
-After the first stare she had blinked in opening her eyes to the light
-and to the sudden apparition; the eyes were now fixed widely on him;
-they looked like two deep, black holes.
-
-"It is a bribe," she said.
-
-"Call it so if you will."
-
-"It shows your scorn for me."
-
-"Comprehension of you, rather."
-
-"And if I don't?"
-
-"If you don't I will challenge this man--and fight him. I am an
-excellent fencer, an excellent shot."
-
-She looked at him, half scoffing, yet half believing. "Englishmen don't
-fight duels."
-
-"This one will."
-
-"He might kill you."
-
-"I might kill him; you would have to take the risk."
-
-She shrugged her shoulders. "_Bien!_ I understand, too. I will fulfil
-myself." She half rose, then sank again. "How much?" He mentioned the
-sum--not a small one. "Make it two thirds," said Claire, keeping her
-dilated eyes upon him with an effect of final and defiant revelation.
-
-"Two thirds, then," he assented, in the steadied voice of one who does
-not dare hurry indecision. Yet, even now, she did not rise.
-
-"One more condition, please. I do not see my mother again. Let us say,
-if you like, that I am ashamed to meet her."
-
-"She has not been told--of this."
-
-"Yes, she has," said Claire. "I wrote and told her." There was the
-satisfaction of achievement in the way she said it. "Oh, yes; she
-knows."
-
-"Yet, even after that,--your vengeance, I suppose,--I hardly dare make
-the promise for her,--she can forgive--even this."
-
-"Ah," and the hoarse note was in Claire's voice, "but I can't take
-forgiveness from her. I have left the world where such episodes as this
-need forgiveness. Tolerance is now all that I will endure--and she will
-never tolerate. No; I will not come with you; I will not return to
-Monsieur Daunay and to respectability--unless you promise that I shall
-never see her again."
-
-"I promise it, then, if it is the condition."
-
-"You accept? _Bien!_" Claire sprang up, and ripping an illustration from
-a magazine, she scribbled on the blank back, "Have decided, after all,
-that I won't come," transfixed it with a hat-pin to the cushioned back
-of Lord Epsil's vacated seat, then, as rapidly, reached for two of the
-bandboxes, pulled them, rattling, from the racks, stooped and jerked a
-large pasteboard box from under a seat, and, encumbered as she already
-was, caught up from among the rugs and bags several smaller packages,
-dexterously holding them to her sides with her elbows.
-
-Damier, who had stared, hardly comprehending, gripped her wrist. "Put
-them down." She gazed round in sincere amazement; then, with quite a
-humorous laugh, dropped the booty. "I really forgot! No, it wouldn't be
-fair play, would it?--though, I confess, I should like to take a little
-vengeance; he has irritated me, been too complacent, too assured. This,
-too?" She touched the silk traveling-cloak. Damier, without speaking,
-stripped it off her; then, catching her by the arm, he almost dragged
-her from the carriage, for her feet stumbled among the dressing-cases
-and the abandoned boxes.
-
-He found, as they almost ran along the dim platform across to the one
-opposite, and as he pushed her into a compartment of the Paris train
-that stood there, that she was laughing. The adventure of it, the
-excitement, Lord Epsil's discomfiture, appealed, evidently, to her sense
-of mirth.
-
-There were other occupants of the carriage, and Damier was thankful for
-it. He did not want to talk to Claire. To reproach her would make him as
-ridiculous as beating a tin pan in the expectation of response other
-than a mocking cachinnation; not to reproach might seem to condone by
-comprehension. Yet, as she sank back into a corner, settled her shoulder
-in it, he saw that there was emotion under the laughter, that it was not
-only the tin-pan rattle. He could interpret it as almost a regret--a
-regret for something against which she had always rebelled, from which
-she had now finally freed herself, a sudden realization that forever she
-had lost the standing upon which he had found her. Yet, over this trace
-of emotion and suffering, that, to Damier, was more piteous than
-anything he had yet seen in her, she smiled at him, with half-dropped
-lids. It was the look, with her a new one, of brazening a shame. Already
-her nature had retaliated upon the wrong she had done it by fixing in
-her face a more apparent ugliness of expression. She glanced round at
-the sleepy, respectable occupants of the carriage, their sleepiness,
-however, keeping an eye upon this startling young person in her white
-dress.
-
-"Before we relapse into an irrevocable silence," she said, "let me
-inform you--it will complete your evil opinion of me--that I didn't
-really care about him; I cared for his caring about me--though at
-moments even that fatigued me, _il m'embêtait quelquefois_; but then, I
-was glad to be revenged."
-
-"Upon whom? For what?"
-
-"Upon you both--for making me feel that I was not of your world."
-
-"We did not make you feel it, Claire."
-
-For some moments they were silent, as the train moved slowly from the
-station, and then she said:
-
-"Where will you take me?"
-
-"To his cousin's, Mademoiselle Daunay's. I have arranged all with him."
-
-A look, almost tremulous under its attempt at a light sneer, crossed her
-face.
-
-"What forgiveness! _Il est un peu lâche, vous savez._"
-
-"Try, Claire, to deserve such touching _lâcheté_."
-
-Again Claire was, for some moments, silent; then, yawning slightly, yet,
-again his acuteness guessed, affectedly, she said, settling her shoulder
-more decisively in her corner:
-
-"There is the more hope for my deserving it since now I am rich. You may
-make your mind easy about my future. I have got all that I ever really
-wanted." It was the new and brazen note over the new shame; but as he
-looked at the face that first pretended to sleep, and that eventually
-did sleep, was not the brass the curious, anomalous shield that nature
-put around something growing--around a soul that at last, with a faint,
-half-conscious thrill, felt upon it the awakening breath of suffering?
-
-
-
-
-XIX
-
-
-THE morning was still fresh when Damier walked down the
-Rue B---- next day. Clear early sunlight fell upon the houses opposite
-Madame Vicaud's, glittering on their upper windows, gilding their
-austerity; but the depths of the street were still cool and unshadowed.
-
-The concierge was sweeping out the courtyard, and fixed on Damier a
-cogitating eye; his early visit and Claire's absence were, no doubt, to
-her vigilant curiosity, symptoms of something unusual. The cogitation,
-though mingled with relief, was repeated at the door above in
-Angélique's look. She was plainly glad to see him. Madame Vicaud had sat
-up all night, she volunteered, quite as if accepting him as a member of
-the family, privileged to confidences; she thought that madame had hoped
-for mademoiselle's return, and she feared that the letter that had
-arrived from mademoiselle an hour before had much distressed madame.
-Perhaps Monsieur Damier could persuade her to have some coffee; she had
-eaten no dinner the night before, nor breakfast this morning. Damier
-promised to persuade, and Angélique ushered him into the salon.
-
-He had never before seen it flooded with sunlight,--for this was his
-first morning visit,--and the windows overlooking the garden faced a
-radiant sky.
-
-His eyes were dazzled, and the dark figure that rose to meet him seemed
-to waver in the light.
-
-The calamity that had befallen her, at variance with the joyous setting
-in which he found her, showed in her white face--her eyes, still, as it
-were, astonished from the shock, dark with misery and a night of
-watching. On the table near which she had been sitting were a burnt-out
-candle, Lady Surfex's telegram of the night before, and a letter,
-opening its large displayal of vigorous handwriting to the revealing
-day: Claire's handwriting, Claire's letter of farewell. Damier took
-Madame Vicaud's hands and looked at her; the astonishment of her eyes
-hurt him more than their dry misery: after all, then, she had been so
-unprepared.
-
-"I know all," she said.
-
-"Not all."
-
-"She has left me--with that man; she has written to me."
-
-"Not all," he repeated.
-
-"Is there more? There cannot be worse."
-
-"There is better. She is safe."
-
-"Safe? Do you mean that she did not go?"
-
-Her eyes, with their sudden leap of light, burned him.
-
-"No; she did go. But I followed them; I brought her back."
-
-"Back to me? She was frightened at what she had done?" she again asked,
-her eyes still burning, but more dimly, upon him. His eyes dropped
-before them; looking down at the wasted hands he held, he said:
-
-"No, dearest, not to you--to Monsieur Daunay. She is to marry him. She
-is with his cousin now."
-
-Her vigil had evidently been tearless; even the arrival that morning of
-the fatal letter had not melted her frozen terror. But now, as she
-looked speechlessly at him, the long rise of a sob heaved her breast;
-her hands slid from his; she sank into a chair, and resting her crossed
-arms upon the table, she bent her head upon them and wept and shuddered.
-In the sunny stillness of the room the young man stood beside her. He
-felt an alien before this intimate, maternal anguish. She did not weep
-for long. She presently sat upright, dried her eyes, and pushed back her
-hair, keeping her hand pressed tightly, for a moment, on her forehead,
-as if in an effort to regain her long habit of self-control; and as if
-to gain time, to hide the painful effort from him, she pointed to
-Claire's letter. "Read it," she said.
-
-It was Claire's most callous, most ugly self; its passion of hatred and
-revenge hardly masked itself in the metallic tone of mockery. They were
-both well rid of her--her dear Mamma and her dear Mamma's suitor. They
-were far too good for her, and she justified them by showing them how
-far too bad she was for them. Pursuit and reproaches were useless. She
-feared that her dear Mamma's ermine robe of respectability must be
-permanently spotted by a daughter notoriously naughty--for she did not
-intend to hide her new situation. But perhaps the daughter could be
-lived down as the daughter's father had been. And on, and on--short
-phrases, lava-jets from the seething volcano of base vulgarity; Damier
-felt them burn his own cheek while he read.
-
-Madame Vicaud's eyes were on his when he raised them; but quickly
-looking away from him, she said: "It came this morning. Last night I
-could not understand that telegram; I could not believe that she would
-not return. I felt that something was being hidden from me; it was like
-battling in a stifling black air. And then--this came." He had laid the
-letter beside her, and she touched it with her finger, as if it had been
-a snake. "This--this end of all!"
-
-"She is safe," Damier repeated rather helplessly.
-
-"Safe!" the mother echoed. Leaning her head against the chair-back, she
-closed her eyes. Lovely and dignified even in her disgrace, nothing
-could smirch and nothing could abase her; she had never looked so noble
-as at this moment of dreadful defeat and overthrow. "And how have you
-saved her?" she asked. "What did Monsieur Daunay have to offer--what did
-you have to offer--to bring her back--since it was not repentance? It
-was not repentance?"
-
-"No; but I believe that she was glad to come. I--I dowered Claire," said
-Damier, after a momentary pause.
-
-Madame Vicaud, still keeping her eyes closed, was silent. He leaned over
-her and took her hand. "All that I have is yours. You dowered her, let
-us say."
-
-"What do you mean by dowering her?" she asked.
-
-"I have given her two thirds of my income for life."
-
-Her hand in his was chill and passive; he felt in her the cold shudder
-of shame.
-
-"Ah," he said, "from me--from me you do not resent such saving?"
-
-"Resent?--from you?" she said gently. "No, no; it is of her I am
-thinking. No; you did well, very well to save her--if we may call it
-saving. You have washed the spots from my respectability. We both know
-the value of such washing; but it is best--best to have us all
-respectable,"--a bitter smile touched her lips,--"since it is that we
-prize so. And were there no other inducements?"
-
-"There was a condition,"--he had to nerve himself to the speaking of
-it,--"that she did not see you again. She has, by her own wish, broken
-the bond between you. She has left your life."
-
-Madame Vicaud clenched her hands, and her chin trembled.
-
-"Yet--let me tell you," he said, "I believe that there is more hope for
-Claire so left in the evil and abasement she has made about herself than
-if she were to have remained with you; all the forces of her nature were
-engaged in resistance, or in a pretended submission that bided its time.
-Now she must do battle with the world on a level where life will teach
-her lessons she can understand. She has severed herself completely from
-you--she has completely fulfilled herself. Some new blossoming may
-follow; who knows?"
-
-"But no blossoming for me. I shall not see it," said Madame Vicaud. "My
-life has been useless."
-
-Useless? He wondered over her past, her long efforts, this wreck.
-
-Could goodness, however clear-sighted, however divine in its
-comprehension and pity, prevent evil from working itself out,
-fulfilling itself? Was not its working out perhaps its salvation?
-
-"How can you tell?" he said. "You have done your work for her."
-
-"I have done nothing for her. Everything has failed." Still, with closed
-eyes, she leaned her head against the chair, and slow tears fell down
-her cheeks.
-
-"You have fulfilled yourself toward her; that is not failure. You have
-fought your fight. Surely it is the fighting, and not its result, that
-makes success. And can you say that everything has failed--when you
-still have me to live for? Claire has gone out of your life. She has
-shut the door on you. She has left you, and--oh, dearest, dearest, she
-has left you to me!"
-
-He stood before her, looking at her with faithful eyes. His love for her
-made no menace to her grief; it did not jar upon her sorrow; rather it
-was with her in it all, it could not: be separated from it--as he could
-not be separated from any part of her life.
-
-"You are alone now," he said, "and I am alone."
-
-"No,"--she put her hand out to him,--"no; we are not alone."
-
-"Then--" The air was golden, and in the open window, white flowers, set
-there, dazzled against the sky. This day of sunlight and disaster must
-symbolize the past and the future, as her eyes, with their silent,
-solemn assent, her face, so sweet and so sorrowful. She rose; he drew
-her toward him. But then, as though another consecration than embrace
-and kiss were needed for this strange betrothal, she walked with him,
-holding his hand, to the window, where the white flowers dazzled in the
-sun. She looked at the flowers, at the trees, at the splendid serenity
-of the morning sky, softly breathing the clear, radiant air--as though
-in "a peace out of pain."
-
-"We will go away," said Damier, who looked at her; and, despite his
-sorrowing for her, the day seemed to him full of wings and music. "I do
-not want to see Paris again, do you? And this will be our last memory
-of it--these flowers, this garden, this sky, that we look at together.
-We will think of it so, without pain almost, in a new, new life."
-
-"A new life," she repeated gently and vaguely. Lifting his hand, she
-kissed it. "You have rescued me from the old one. You are my angel of
-resurrection," she said.
-
-Yet that the future was dim to her, except through his faith in
-it,--that, indeed, it could never become an unshadowed brightness,--he
-knew, as, leaning against him, needing protection from her bitter
-thoughts, she murmured in the anguish of her desolate and bereaved
-motherhood: "Oh--but my child!"
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rescue, by Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Rescue
-
-Author: Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-
-Release Date: February 25, 2013 [EBook #42194]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE RESCUE ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
-produced from images available at The Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-The Rescue
-
-[Illustration: frontispiece]
-
-
-
-
-The Rescue
-
-BY
-Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-AUTHOR OF "THE CONFOUNDING OF CAMELIA"
-"THE DULL MISS ARCHINARD"
-
-[Illustration: colophon]
-
-NEW YORK
-The Century Co.
-1902
-
-Copyright, 1901, 1902, by
-THE CENTURY CO.
-
-_Published May, 1902_
-
-THE DEVINNE PRESS.
-
-
-
-
-TO
-
-G. S. S.
-
-AND
-
-M. D. S.
-
-
-
-
-
-THE RESCUE
-
-[Illustration]
-
-I
-
-
-EUSTACE DAMIER bent his long, melancholy profile over
-the photograph-album. It was an old-fashioned album; its faded morocco
-cover, its gilt clasp loosened with age, went with the quiet
-old-fashioned little room, that had no intentions, made no efforts, and
-yet was full of meaning, with the charm of an epoch near enough to be
-easily understood, yet with a grace and a pathos in its modern antiquity
-deeper than that possessed by a more romantic remoteness. It was the
-sort of little drawing-room where one's mother might have accepted one's
-father: one could not quite see one's present in it, but one saw a near
-and a dear past. The gray wall-paper with its flecked gold flower, the
-curved lines of the sedately ornamental chairs and sofas, the crisp yet
-faded chintzes, the wedded vases on the marble mantelpiece, the books,
-well worn, on stands, the group of family silhouettes on the wall, the
-cheerful floral carpet--all made a picture curiously unlike the early
-nineties, and fully characteristic of the sixties. There were many
-flowers about the room, arranged with a cheerful regularity; the very
-roses looked old-fashioned in their closely grouped bunches; and in a
-corner stood a tall etagere bearing potted plants in rows that narrowed
-to an apex. Between curtains, carefully drawn, of white lace and green
-rep, one saw a strip of garden brilliantly illuminated with sunlight.
-
-It was in just such a room and in such surroundings that Damier had
-imagined seeing again his old friend, and his mother's friend, Mrs.
-Mostyn. He always associated her with a sprightly conservatism. With a
-genial, yet detached, appreciation of modern taste, she would be
-placidly faithful to the taste of her girlhood. The house, he
-remembered, had been her mother's, and its contents had probably
-remained as they were when her mother's death put her in possession of
-it. He remembered Mrs. Mostyn's caps, her cameos, her rings, her
-bracelet with the plaited hair in it, her jests, too, and her
-gaieties--all with a perfume of potpourri, with a niceness and
-exactitude of simile that had not attempted to keep pace with the
-complexities, the allusiveness and elusiveness, of modern humor.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn had lived for many years in this small country house; she
-had entered it as a childless widow after a life of some color and
-movement, her husband having been a promising diplomat, whose death in
-early middle age had cut short a career that had not yet found an
-opportunity of rising from promise to any large achievement. After his
-death Mrs. Mostyn devoted herself to books, to her garden, her poor
-people, and her friends. Her house was not adapted to a large
-hospitality, but one of these friends was usually with her. Damier,
-however, was only paying a call. He had never visited Mrs. Mostyn; she
-had visited his mother in London, and since his mother had died he had
-been little in England. Now he was staying with the Halbournes, eight
-miles away.
-
-The atmosphere of the room, as he waited, the stillness of the warm,
-fragrant garden outside, combined to make a half-tender, half-melancholy
-mood, in which an impression, quickly felt, is long remembered. Such an
-impression awaited him in the old photograph-album. It had been natural
-to see there his mother's gentle, thoughtful face--first of a
-round-cheeked girl, looking like a Thackeray heroine, and, later, the
-face he knew so well, fatigued, sad, yet smiling under gray hair;
-natural to see his father, with dreaming eyes and the fine head of the
-thinker; to see aunts and uncles, his dead sister, and himself: but it
-was with the half-painful, half-joyous shock of something wholly
-unfamiliar, wholly arresting, strongly significant, that he came upon
-the photograph of an unknown lady. It was a faded carte-de-visite, and
-the small lettering on the cardboard edge spoke of Paris and of some
-bygone photographer. The lady was portrayed in a conventional pose and
-without modern accessories, leaning one arm in its sleeve of flowing
-silk on the back of a high chair, a hand hanging, half hidden, against
-the folds of her silken skirt. She was dressed after the fashion of the
-late sixties, in that of the Second Empire; yet, though her dress spoke
-of France, as the photograph had done, and spoke charmingly, her face
-was not that of a French-woman. One's first impression--not too
-superficial, either--was of a finished little _mondaine;_ but finished,
-poised, serene as she was, she could not be more than twenty--indeed, as
-Damier reflected, youth at that time was not a lengthy epoch, as in
-ours. She was slender, the leaning bust and arm rounded, the hand long.
-Her face was heart-shaped; the dark hair, parted over the forehead and
-drawn up fully from the brows, emphasized the width across the eyes, the
-narrowness of the face below; the lips were firm and delicate. Of her
-eyes one saw chiefly the gaze and the darkness under a sweep of straight
-eyebrow. And Damier had passed at once through these surface impressions
-to an essential one: her head was the most enchanting he had ever seen,
-and her eyes, as they looked at him, had a message for him. Man of the
-modern world as he was, he stood looking back at this dim, enchanting
-face; stood trying to interpret its message over the chasm made by more
-than two decades; stood wondering what she meant to him. He was wrapped
-in this sensation--of a spell woven about him, of an outstretching from
-the past, of something mysterious and urgent--when Mrs. Mostyn came in.
-
-
-
-
-II
-
-
-MRS. MOSTYN had changed little since he had last seen
-her five years ago in London. Her hair, under the laces of her cap, was
-whiter; her rosiness and plumpness--her little hands were especially
-fat--more accentuated: but the gaiety and kindness were the same. As
-much as in the past she entered into all his interests: asked questions
-about his three years at the English embassy in Rome, about his recent
-travels, what he had done, what he intended to do. When all
-reminiscences were over, all plans discussed, and when Mrs. Mostyn had
-sketched for him, with her crisp, nipping definitiveness, the people of
-the neighborhood, Damier, who during all the talk had kept the album in
-his hand, his forefinger between the leaves at the place where the
-enchanted photograph had looked at him, said, opening the book: "I have
-been immersing myself in the past. Is anything so full of its feeling as
-an old photograph-album? _Ca sent le temps_, and I have made a discovery
-there. Who is this?" He held out the opened page to her, and Mrs.
-Mostyn, adjusting her eye-glasses, looked.
-
-"Ah, yes. Is she not charming?"
-
-"She has charmed me. She is wonderful."
-
-"Her story was certainly rather wonderful. And she always charmed me,
-too, though I knew her only slightly, and saw her for only a short time.
-I met her in Paris when I was there with my husband. She was a Miss
-Chanfrey--Clara Chanfrey, a younger branch of the Bectons, you know.
-Clara had come out in London the year before. Lady Chanfrey, an
-ambitious woman, had, I fancy, determined on a brilliant match for her,
-and it seemed about to be realized, for Lord Pemleigh followed them to
-Paris, where Clara's beauty made a furor--she was thought lovelier than
-the Empress. As I remember her there was really no comparison; she was
-far lovelier. I can see her now: one night at the Tuileries--she wore a
-white gauze dress and lilies-of-the-valley in her hair; and at the
-opera, Lord Pemleigh in the box, a hard, impassive man, but he was,
-report said, desperately enamoured; and, again, riding in the Bois in
-the flowing habit of the time. There was an air of serious blitheness
-about her; yet under the blitheness I felt always an eagerness, a
-waiting. She always seemed to be waiting, and to smile and talk _pour
-passer le temps_--to make the something that was coming come more
-quickly. Poor child! it came."
-
-"She married Lord Pemleigh?" Damier asked, as Mrs. Mostyn paused, her
-eyes vague with memories.
-
-"No; don't you remember? He married little Ethel Dunstan--but only after
-years had passed. No; she did an extraordinary thing--a dreadful thing.
-She eloped--ran away with a French artist, a man of no family, no
-fortune. He was introduced to the Chanfreys in Paris, and painted
-Clara's portrait. Very clever it was thought, rather in the style of
-Manet; a full-length portrait--I saw it--of Clara in a white lawn dress
-with a green ribbon around her waist and a green ribbon in her black
-hair, and at her throat an emerald locket. Perhaps his very difference
-charmed her, and the distance that separated his world from hers made
-her unable to see him clearly; he was, too, extremely handsome. No
-explanations are needed of why he fell in love; the wealth and the
-position he hoped through her to attain were sufficient reasons, to say
-nothing of her beauty. At all events, Clara proudly avowed that they
-loved each other. One can only imagine the storm. The Chanfreys took her
-back to England; he followed them; and she ran away with him and married
-him. Her family never forgave her. Her father and mother died without
-ever seeing her again, and she refused the small allowance they offered
-her. Since those days I have heard only vaguely of her, and heard only
-unhappy things. The man, Jules Vicaud, was a talented brute. With her
-all had been glamour, charm, romance, the sense of generous trust; with
-him calculation and selfishness. He treated her abominably when he found
-that he had gained nothing with her; and he was idle, extravagant,
-dissipated. They became terribly poor. It was a sordid, a horrible
-story;--a violet dragged in the mud."
-
-Damier had listened in silence; now, as Mrs. Mostyn handed him back the
-album, and as, once more, the steady gaze met his, "I cannot associate
-her with the gutter," he said, "nor can I understand this violet
-stooping to it. I should have imagined her too fastidious, too
-intelligent, and, if you will, too conventional to be for one moment
-dazzled by a shoddy bohemian."
-
-"Oh," sighed Mrs. Mostyn, "has delicacy ever been a certificate of
-safety? She was fastidious, she was intelligent, she was conventional;
-but she was also idealistic, impulsive, ignorant--far more ignorant than
-a modern girl would be. Her knowledge of any other world than her own
-was so vague that the very carefulness of her breeding made her
-unconscious of its lack in others; differences she would have thought
-significant only of his greatness and her own littleness. She dazzled
-herself more than he dazzled her, perhaps. And he was, then at least,
-more than the shoddy bohemian. He had grace, power,--I well remember
-him,--an apparent indifference to the more petty standards and tests of
-her world that no doubt seemed to her a splendid, courageous
-unworldliness. And then he came at a moment of rebellion, pain, and
-perplexity, as a contrast to the formality, the charmlessness of her
-English suitor. She did not love Lord Pemleigh; her resistance to the
-match had already embittered her relations with her mother--Lady
-Chanfrey was a high-spirited, clever, cynical woman. And then--and
-then--she fell in love with Jules Vicaud; that is, after all, the only
-final explanation of these stories."
-
-"And she ceased to love him?" He seemed now to interpret the gaze more
-fully. Did it not foresee? Did it not entreat--though so proudly?
-
-"Ah, I don't know. All I know is that she stuck to him, and that she was
-miserable. Poor, poor child!" Mrs. Mostyn repeated.
-
-"And is she dead?" he asked after a little pause in which it seemed to
-him that they had thrown flowers on a long-forgotten grave.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn looked out of the window at the summer sky and sunny garden,
-the effort of difficult recollection on her face.
-
-"I really don't know--I really can't remember. So soon afterward my
-husband died; Lady Chanfrey died; I came here to live. I heard from time
-to time of her misfortunes--of her death I don't think I heard; but for
-years now I have heard nothing. How many years ago is it? This is '95,
-and that was--oh, it must have been nearly twenty-eight years ago."
-
-"So that she would be now?"
-
-"She would be forty-seven now. If she is alive the story of her life is
-over."
-
-"I wonder if it is. I wonder if she is alive."
-
-The gaze of the photograph, with all its calm, grew more profound, more
-significant.
-
-"Could you find out?" he asked presently.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn broke into a laugh that, with its cheery common sense, like
-a gay cockcrow announcing dawn, seemed to dispel the hallucinations of
-night, recall the reality of the present, and set them both firmly in
-their own epoch.
-
-"My dear Eustace! What a dabbler in impressions you are! I won't say
-dabbler--seeker-after."
-
-"Not after impressions," said Damier, smiling a little sadly.
-
-"And have you not found anything?" she asked.
-
-"No; I don't think I have."
-
-"Neither a religion, nor a work, nor a woman!" smiled Mrs. Mostyn. "You
-have always reminded me, Eustace, of that introspective Swiss gentleman
-of the journal. You are always seeking something to which you can give
-yourself unreservedly. But my sad little Clara, even if she would have
-meant something to you, came too early. She missed you by--how many
-years?--fifteen at least, Eustace; you were hardly more than a baby when
-that photograph was taken. But she may have had a daughter,--the
-daughter of the bohemian and the mondaine,--and you might find there an
-adventure of the heart."
-
-"Ah, I don't care about a daughter--or about an adventure."
-
-Mrs. Mostyn glanced at his absorbed, delicate face with a smile baffled
-and quizzical. She controlled, however, any humorous queries, and said
-presently:
-
-"Yes, I might try to find out. I might write to Mrs. Gaston; she knows
-Sir Molyneux Chanfrey, Clara's brother,--a man I never liked,--and she
-could ask him."
-
-"Pray do."
-
-"But I don't fancy Sir Molyneux is very easy to approach on the subject.
-He and his sister were never sympathetic."
-
-"I wish you would find out," Damier repeated.
-
-"I will, Eustace, and give you a letter of introduction to her if I ever
-find her," smiled Mrs. Mostyn.
-
-
-
-
-III
-
-
-EUSTACE DAMIER was susceptible and fastidious,
-idealistic and skeptical. He was not weak, for he rarely yielded to his
-impressions; but his strength, since nothing had come into his life that
-called for decisive action, was mainly negative. Perfection haunted him,
-and seen beside that inner standard, most experience was tawdry. He was
-quite incapable of loving what he had if he could not have what he
-loved. The vacancy had once been filled, but since his mother's, his
-sister's death, it had yawned, oppressive, unresponsive, about him. He
-was no cynic, but he was melancholy. He had gone through life
-alternating between ardor and despondency.
-
-He was amused now, amused and yet amazed, by the extraordinary
-impression that the old photograph had made upon him. More than once he
-had drawn back on the verge of a great passion,--drawn back he could
-hardly have said why,--feeling that the woman, or he himself, lacked
-something of the qualities that could make them lastingly need each
-other. And now it really seemed to him that he needed, and would need
-lastingly, this woman of thirty years ago; and surely she needed him.
-She called to him, and he answered. He understood her; he loved her.
-
-It was whimsical, absurd, pathetic. He could smile over it, yet under
-the smile some deeper self seemed to smile another smile--the smile of a
-mystery speaking at last in words that he could not understand, but in a
-voice that he could hear.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn had yielded the photograph to his determined
-claim,--laughing at his impudence,--and he kept it always beside him in
-the weeks that followed his departure from ----shire. During those
-weeks, that lengthened into months, no news came, and the eagerness of
-his feeling died away. The feeling was still there, but it was like an
-awakened and living memory of an old, dead love. He thought of her as
-dead; it was best so, for he could imagine with repulsion the
-degradation that a harried life in the slimier walks of bohemia might
-have wrought in her had she lived. The sense of half-humorous,
-half-tragic pathos remained with him. He smiled at the photograph every
-day. It represented just what a memory, deep and still, would have
-represented. It said to him, "We have found each other. Now we will
-never part." And absurdly, deliciously, he felt--with an instinct that
-fluttered wings high above any net of reason, singing, almost
-invisible--that what he had missed was waiting for him somewhere.
-
- * * * * *
-
-One day in late autumn, when he had returned to London, something
-happened which changed the character of this unsubstantial romance. He
-met at his club another old friend, a contemporary of Mrs. Mostyn's.
-Sir Henry Quarle was a writer of pleasant reminiscences, a garrulous and
-companionable man about town, who had kept careful pace with the times,
-who, indeed, flattered himself that he usually kept a step or two ahead
-of them: he was prophetic as well as reminiscent; had firm opinions and
-facile appreciations.
-
-He and Damier spoke of Mrs. Mostyn,--Sir Henry, too, had seen her
-recently,--of Paris, and of her connection with it. "And by the way,"
-said Sir Henry, "she told me that you were tremendously interested in
-what she told you about Madame Vicaud--Clara Chanfrey that was. Now I
-know a good deal about that unhappy history, and can, indeed, carry it
-on to a further chapter; the first did interest you?"
-
-"Tremendously," Damier assented, feeling, with a beating heart, that
-daylight was about to flood his mystic temple. "Is she alive?" he added.
-
-"That I don't know. But I saw the second chapter at close quarters. I
-went to Vicaud's studio one day. They had been married only a few
-years; she was a mere girl even then. I never saw such wretchedness."
-
-"In what way?" Damier's heart now beat with a strange self-reproach.
-
-"Oh--not describable. It was the evident hiding of misery that one felt
-most, the controlled fear in her face. She was lovelier than ever, but
-white, wasted, her delicate hands worn with work. The place was already
-poverty-stricken, but clean--grimly clean; I have no doubt she scrubbed
-the floor herself. Four or five artists were there--clever, well-known
-men, but not of the best type: the kind of men who wrote brutally
-realistic feuilletons for papers of the baser order, who painted
-pictures _pour epater le bourgeois;_ grossly materialistic, cynically
-skeptical of all that was not so. One felt that, though utterly alien to
-it by taste, she could have adapted herself, in a sense, to the best
-bohemianism. She was broadly intelligent; she would have recognized all
-that was fine, vital, inspiring in it, all that it implies of
-antagonism to the conformist, the bourgeois attitude. But the
-bohemianism of her husband and his comrades could only turn her to ice.
-It was strange to see her fear, and yet her strength, in these
-surroundings. They saw it, too; her chill gentleness, her inflexible
-face, cowed them, made them silly rather than vicious. Only, at that
-time, she had not cowed her husband; at all events, he seemed to take a
-pleasure in showing his mastery over her, his indifference to her
-attitude. He was a genius, with the face of a poet and the soul of a
-satyr. She had charmed him by her unusualness; he had determined to have
-her, to snatch her, the fine, delicate creature, from another world, as
-it were, and to make her part of his experience of life in very much the
-same sense as he would have tried a new kind of sin for the sake of its
-novelty. Then, too, he hoped, of course, for advancement, pecuniary and
-social; the disappointment of that hope must have roused the fiend in
-him. Of course he loved her--if one can turn the word to such base
-uses. What man would not have loved her? He loved her as he might have
-loved one of his mistresses; and I remember that on that day he
-dared--as perhaps he would not have dared had they been alone--to go to
-her before us all, fondle her cheek, and, putting his arm around her,
-kiss her. We all, I think, felt the ugly bravado of it, and I know that
-I never detested a man as I detested him at that moment. She sat
-motionless, expressionless. Only her eyes showed the terror of her
-helplessness, her despair."
-
-"Just heavens!" Damier exclaimed, after a silence filled for him with a
-bewildering aching and despair. "Why did she not leave him?"
-
-"Well," said Sir Henry, looking at the tip of his cigar, and crossing
-his knees for the greater comfort of impersonal reflection, "there was
-the child--they had a child, a girl; I never saw it; and there was her
-pride--she had been cast off by all her people; and there was his need
-of her. A few years after their marriage Vicaud took to absinthe, and
-drank himself half mad from time to time. Her conceptions of the duties
-of marriage, the sacredness of its bond, were, I am sure, very high;
-duty, pity, a hopeless loyalty, kept her to him, no doubt. What she went
-through no one, I suppose, can imagine.
-
-"I saw her once again; I was in Paris for a few days--it must have been
-more than ten years after that first meeting. I met her leading her
-husband in an _allee_ in the Bois. He was a wreck then, his talent gone,
-his noble face a pallid, bloated mask. He leaned on her arm, draped in
-his defiant black cloak. I sha'n't forget them as they walked under the
-October trees. She was changed, immensely changed. Her stately head was
-still beautiful, but with a beauty stony, frozen, as it were. There was
-no longer any touch of fear or softness. When she saw me she smiled with
-all her own gracious courtesy--but graciousness a little exaggerated;
-she had become, I saw, by long opposition to the life about her, almost
-too ineffably the lady. She had to keep, consciously, the perfume of
-life.
-
-"I walked on with them, and, perhaps as a result of my evident wish to
-see more of her, she asked me to go back to dinner with them. I did,
-realizing when I got to their apartment what it must have cost her to
-ask me, and what the pride must be that could do it and seem indifferent
-in the midst of that tawdry, poverty-stricken, vicious existence. Up
-flights of soiled and shabby stairs, in a mean house, to a miserable
-room--its bareness the best thing that could be said of it--at the top
-of the house, overlooking a squalid quarter of Paris. There was a harp
-in one corner, and Madame Vicaud, in answer to my inquiry about her
-music, said that she gave lessons. The young daughter was at school in
-England, and Vicaud's old mother lived with them, a spiteful,
-suspicious-looking bourgeoise with a handsome, flinty eye. Clara Vicaud
-gave her all the quiet deference that she would have given her had she
-been her equal. She had evidently forced from the old woman--forced by
-no effort, but by the mere compulsion of her own unflinching courtesy--a
-sullen respect. Her husband looked at her, spoke to her, with an odd
-mingling of resentment and dependence. He would say constantly, 'Que
-dis-tu, Claire?' But he talked, too, with the evident intention of
-putting her to shame before her English guest,--seeing how she bore
-it,--talked of gallant adventures, of the charms of various females of
-his acquaintance. She sat pale, mild, and cold. It was like seeing mud
-thrown at a statue of the Madonna.
-
-"When she and I talked together after the supper--one could hardly call
-the meal a dinner--she did not make an apologetic reference to the
-ribaldry we had listened to. She did not refer, either, to any of the
-friends she no longer knew. We spoke chiefly of her daughter, and of
-books. The daughter was evidently the one ray of light in her existence;
-she told me about her progress at school, her cleverness, her beauty.
-And next to her daughter, reading and music had been her great
-resources. I was surprised at her scholarship, at her familiarity with
-German philosophy, English poetry, Russian fiction, French and English
-literary and social criticism; indeed, on the subjects of social
-problems, of human suffering and the various remedies, economic and
-ethical, suggested for it, her knowledge was far deeper than my own. But
-in all our talk there was not a note of the personal, the confidential,
-the regretful; she might have been sitting in an environment absolutely
-her own. I never saw her again after that evening. When I was in Paris
-some years later I went to the house, and heard that Monsieur Vicaud and
-his mother had both died there, and that Madame Vicaud, after nursing
-them through their last illnesses, had gone. I have often wondered what
-became of her."
-
-Damier asked no further questions, and the talk drifted away from the
-subject of Madame Vicaud and her misfortunes. But that evening he wrote
-to Mrs. Mostyn, and asked her if she had not yet obtained for him some
-news of his lady of the photograph. The photograph had for him that
-night a new look; it still said, "I need you," but "I need you now. Help
-me." He was convinced that she lived.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn's reply came in a day, and inclosed a letter of introduction
-to Madame Vicaud, Rue B----, Paris. "Sir Molyneux knew nothing of his
-sister's whereabouts," Mrs. Mostyn wrote, "and it was from another
-source that I found out that Clara still lives, and at the inclosed
-address. Do find her, my Don Quixote, and I must make her come and visit
-me."
-
-The inclosed letter asked Madame Vicaud to recall an old friend, and to
-welcome Mr. Damier for her sake and his own. She had only recently had
-news of Madame Vicaud, and so was able, happily, to aid Mr. Damier in
-his great wish to make her acquaintance. She hoped, also, that she might
-see Madame Vicaud in England soon; would she not pay her a visit--a
-long one? It was a long letter, graceful, cordial, affectionate, a rope
-of flowers thrown to Damier for his guidance into the labyrinth.
-
-
-
-
-IV
-
-
-DAMIER, three days afterward, stood in his sitting-room
-in a Paris hotel, looking with a certain astonishment at the small sheet
-of notepaper he held, upon which was written in a firm, flowing hand--a
-hand that seemed, though so gracefully, to contradict any impression of
-a cry for help:
-
- DEAR MR. DAMIER: I shall be very glad to see you to-morrow
- afternoon at four. I well remember Mrs. Mostyn; to hear of her from
- a friend of hers will be a double pleasure.
-
- Yours sincerely,
-
- CLARA VICAUD.
-
-It was like the evocation of a ghost to see this reality, emerged
-suddenly out of the dream-world where, for so long, he had thought of
-her, the young girl leaning on the chair-back in her flowing dress of
-silk. She was alive, and he was to see her that afternoon. Damier felt a
-chill overtake his eagerness. Was he not about to shatter a charming
-experience--one of the sweetest, most tender, most dearly absurd of his
-life? Would he not find in the real, middle-aged Clara Vicaud a hard,
-uninteresting woman? He had a vision of stoutly corseted robustness in
-jetted black cashmere; of a curve of heavy throat under the chin; of
-cold eyes looking with wonder, with suspicion even, upon his romantic
-quest. He could almost have felt it in him to draw back at the eleventh
-hour were he not ashamed to face in himself such cowardice. He took out
-the photograph and looked at it, and the eyes of Clara Chanfrey seemed
-to smile at him with something of tender irony. "Do not be afraid of me;
-I will never disappoint you," they said. After all, what could the mere
-passage of years mean to such a face as that? What could the bitter
-experiences of a sorrowful life hold in them to tarnish ever the spirit
-that looked from it? The reluctance was only superficial, a ripple of
-reaction upon the deep tide of his impulse.
-
-At four that afternoon he drove to a long, narrow street near the
-Boulevard St. Germain--a street of large, bleak houses showing a sort of
-dismantled stateliness. At one of the largest, stateliest, bleakest of
-these the fiacre stopped, and Damier, after asking the way of a grimly
-respectable concierge with a small knitted shawl of black wool folded
-tightly about her shoulders, mounted a wide, uncarpeted stone staircase
-to the highest floor, feeling, as he stood outside the door, that,
-despite the long ascent, the thick beating of his heart was due more to
-emotional than to physical causes.
-
-He rang, and as he stood waiting he heard suddenly within a woman's
-voice singing. The voice was beautiful, and the song was Schumann's "Im
-wunderschoenen Monat Mai." Its pathos, its simplicity, its tenderness,
-mingled with Damier's almost tremulous mood, and pierced his very soul.
-It was like an awakening in Paradise; there was the remembered sadness
-of a long, long past; the strange, melancholy rapture of something
-dawning, something unknown and wonderful. Could any music more fitly
-usher in the coming meeting?
-
-A middle-aged servant came to the door, conventual in the demure quiet
-of her dress and demeanor, and ushered Damier into a bare and spacious
-room where the light from scantily curtained windows shone broadly
-across the polished floor. A woman rose and came forward from the piano.
-Damier's first impression, after the breathless moment in which he saw
-that it was not _she_, was one of dazzling beauty.
-
-"I am Mademoiselle Vicaud--Claire Vicaud," this young woman said, "and
-you are Mr. Damier. My mother is expecting you; she will be here
-directly."
-
-Perhaps he felt, as she smiled gravely upon him, it was the power in her
-face, rather than its beauty, that had dazzled him. Already he
-discovered something almost repellent in its enchantment. Her eyes were
-dark, with a still, an impenetrable darkness; a small mole emphasized
-the scarlet curve of her upper lip; the lines of cheek and brow were
-wonderfully beautiful. It was, indefinably, in the soft spreading of the
-nostrils, in the deeply sunk corners of the mouth, that one felt a
-plebeian touch. There was nothing, however, of this quality in the
-carriage of her head, with its heavy tiara of dark-red hair, nor in the
-dignity and grace of her figure; and nothing in her, except some vague
-suggestion in this grace and dignity, reminded him of the photograph;
-and he was at once deeply glad of this, glad that Mademoiselle Vicaud
-resembled her father--he felt sure she did--and not her mother.
-
-She seated herself, indicating to him a chair near her, and observed him
-with the same grave smile, and in an unembarrassed silence, while he
-spoke of his pleasure at being in Paris, at finding them there. Damier
-himself was not unembarrassed; found it difficult to talk trivialities
-to this Hebe while thrilling with expectation; and Mademoiselle Vicaud,
-unable otherwise to interpret it, may well have seen in her own radiant
-apparition the cause of his slight disturbance.
-
-"But you are not old," she said to him.
-
-"Did you expect that?" he inquired.
-
-"Then you are not a friend of Mamma's--a friend of her youth, I mean? I
-don't think that she was quite sure who you were."
-
-"It is only through an old friend of hers that--I hope to become
-another," Damier finished, smiling.
-
-"Well, _pour commencer_, you may be our young friend--we have time, you
-and I, before we need think of being old ones. I get tired of old
-things, myself."
-
-"Even of old friends?" Damier asked, amused at her air of placid
-familiarity.
-
-"Ah, that depends."
-
-He observed that Mademoiselle Vicaud, though speaking English with
-fluent ease, had in her voice and manner some most un-English qualities.
-Her voice was soft, deep, and a little guttural. She had a way, he
-noticed later on, of saying "Ah" when one talked to her, a placid little
-ejaculation that was curiously characteristic and curiously foreign.
-
-But at the moment further observations were arrested. The door opened,
-and rising, as a swift footfall entered the room, Damier found himself
-face to face with his lady of the photograph.
-
-He blushed. His emotion showed itself very evidently on his handsome,
-sensitive face, so evidently that the strangeness of the meeting made
-itself felt as a palpable atmosphere, and made conventional greetings an
-effort and something of an absurdity. Madame Vicaud, however, dared the
-absurdity, and so successfully that the formal sweetness of her smile,
-the vague geniality of her voice, as she said right things to him,
-seemed effortless. Damier, through all the tumult of his hurrying
-impressions, comparisons, wonders, yet found time to feel that she was a
-woman who could make many efforts and seem to make none. Her manner
-slid past the stress of the moment; her wonder, if she felt any, was not
-visible. All that she showed to her sudden visitor, introducing himself
-through a past that must have been long dead to her, was the smile, the
-geniality, vague and formal, of the woman of the world.
-
-By contrast to this atmosphere of rule and reticence, the few words he
-had exchanged with the daughter seemed suddenly intimate--seemed to make
-a bond where the mother's made a barrier. But above all barriers, all
-reticences, was the one fact--the wonderful fact--that she was she,
-changed so much, yet so much the same that the change was only a
-deepening, a subtilizing of her charm.
-
-"Yes, I remember Mrs. Mostyn so well," said Madame Vicaud, "and it is
-many years ago now. She must be old. Does she look old? Is she well?
-Will she come to Paris one day, do you think? Ah, as for my going to
-England to see her, that is a great temptation, a sufficient one were
-the possibility only as great. My daughter has been much in England; she
-really, now, knows it better than I do."
-
-Mademoiselle Vicaud did not meet her mother's glance as it rested upon
-her; her eyes were fixed, with their dark placidity, upon Damier, as she
-sat sidewise in her chair, her hands--they were large, white,
-beautifully formed--loosely interlaced on the chair-back.
-
-"Yes; I know England well," she said--"educational England. I went to
-school there. I associate England with all that is formative and
-improving; I have been run through the mold so many times."
-
-"Run through?" Damier asked, smiling. "Have you never taken the form,
-then?" He was not interested in Mademoiselle Vicaud, although he felt
-intimate with her; but her mother's glance brought her between them,
-placed her there; one was forced to look at her and to talk to her.
-
-"Do you think I have?" Mademoiselle Vicaud asked, with her smile, that
-was not gay, a slumberous, indulgent smile. "I hope not," she added,
-"physically, at least. I don't like your English outline, as far as that
-is concerned." Damier could but observe that hers was not English. She
-was supple, curved--slender, yet robust; one saw her soft breathing; her
-waist bent with a lovely flexibility. But the contemplation of these
-facts, to which she seemed, with the indifference of perfect assurance,
-to draw his attention, emphasized that sense of intimacy in a way that
-rather irritated him; Mademoiselle Vicaud, her outline and her exquisite
-gowning of it, slightly jarred upon him. He hardly knew how to word his
-appreciation of her difference, and after saying that he was glad she
-had escaped the more unbecoming influences of his country, added: "I
-hope that there were some things you cared to adopt."
-
-"They adopted me. I was quite passive, quite fluid," said Mademoiselle
-Vicaud.
-
-Her mother, while they interchanged these slight pleasantries, continued
-to look at her daughter.
-
-"You rather exaggerate, do you not, Claire, the coercive nature of your
-English experience?" she said. "It was not all school; there was play,
-too."
-
-"Play like the kindergarten kind, with a meaning in it. My mother has
-always been anxious for me to take the right impressions," said
-Mademoiselle Vicaud, her eyes still on Damier; "she has always chosen
-them for me."
-
-There was a momentary silence after this--a silence that might, Damier
-fancied, have held something of irritation for the mother, though none
-showed itself in the calm intelligence of her glance as it rested on her
-daughter.
-
-Looking from her before the pause could become significant of anything
-like argument or antagonism, she asked Damier for how long he expected
-to remain in Paris, and the talk floated easily into cheerful and
-familiar channels--concerts, the play, books, and pictures.
-
-She was so much more like the photograph than he had expected, and yet
-so different! The figure was the same, almost girlish, more girlish,
-really, than Mademoiselle Claire's, though the fall in the line of her
-shoulders, the erect poise with which she sat, recalled a girlishness of
-another epoch, another tradition.
-
-There was that in the folds of her long silk skirt,--a worn, shining
-silk, yet in its antiquity replete with elegance,--in the position of
-her narrow foot pointing from beneath its folds, in the way she lightly
-folded her arms while she talked to him, that suggested deportment, a
-manner trained, and as much a part of her as putting on her shoes was.
-She was very mannered and very unaffected; the manner was like the
-graceful garment of her perfect ease and naturalness--their protection,
-perhaps, and their ornament. As for her face, Damier, looking at it
-while they talked, felt its enchantment growing on him, like the gradual
-tuning of exquisite instruments preparing him for perfect music. Still,
-the face of the photograph, so unchanged that it was startling to feel
-how much older it was. The abundant hair was dressed in the same
-fashion, but its black was now of an odd grayness that made one just
-aware that it was no longer black. The heart-shaped oval was emphasized;
-the cheeks were thin, the chin sharply delicate, the lips compressed
-when she did not smile--but she frequently smiled--into a line of
-endurance, of a patience almost bitter. There were tones of pale mauve
-in the faint roses of her lips and cheeks, but Damier felt that this
-charming tint must always have been theirs--went with the snow and ebony
-of her type. Although her face was little lined,--emotion with her had
-been repressed, not demonstrated,--it had a look more aging than
-lines--a look of bleakness, of a cold impassivity. The texture of her
-skin was like a white rose-petal just fading. And in this faded
-whiteness her dark eyes gazed, more stern, more tragic than in youth.
-There was in them, and in the straight line of her black brows above
-them, a somberness and almost a menace. Damier wondered over the strange
-contrast to her frequent smile. He saw that where Mademoiselle Vicaud
-was still and grave her mother was light and gay, but the gaiety and
-lightness--he traced the impression further--were part of the manner,
-the protecting, ornamental manner; were something that had once been
-real, and were now put on, like her shoes, again. The daughter showed
-herself, or seemed to show herself, imperturbably: the mother was
-hidden, masked; her eyes, with their contrasting smile, made him think
-of Tragedy glancing among garlands of roses.
-
-Before he went, that day, Damier told Madame Vicaud that his stay in
-Paris was to be indefinite; had even let her see, if she wished to, that
-she counted among his reasons for staying. He was sure that he was to go
-far, but he knew that he must go with discretion. One thing discretion
-evidently required of him--to include Mademoiselle Claire with her
-mother; her mother constantly included her. It was necessary to invite
-them both to drive in the Bois next day. It was then that he learned
-that Madame Vicaud and her daughter both gave lessons, mademoiselle in
-singing,--she had studied with the best masters,--madame in the harp and
-piano. Damier cast a glance upon the harp; the same, no doubt. Hours of
-engagements had to be consulted. They could both, however, be free next
-day at four.
-
-
-
-
-V
-
-
-DAMIER was able, while waiting for them in the salon on
-the following day, to see more clearly Madame Vicaud's environment, now
-that it was empty of her. It was one of work, poverty, and refinement.
-Books lined one side of the walls; the furniture was of the scantiest,
-simplest description; a row of old prints--after Sir Joshua and
-Gainsborough, some of them very good--were hung straightly above the
-simple writing-table; on this table stood a small pot of pink flowers,
-and on a large table near the center of the room were books, reviews,
-and a work-box; the harp and the grand piano dominated the room. The
-high windows did not overlook the street, but the branches, flecked
-still with gold and russet autumn leaves, of an old garden. Turning
-from this outlook, Damier found his attention fixed by a large
-photograph that occupied a prominent place in a black frame upon a
-sedate cabinet near the window. It was the photograph of a man--of
-Monsieur Vicaud, Damier knew at once. He gazed long at the face, still
-young, yet showing already touches of decay and degradation in the
-poetry and beauty of its youth. Without these touches--of presage more
-than actuality--it might have been the face of a Paolo, with tossed-back
-hair and superb, unfettered throat. Monsieur Vicaud had evidently been
-one of the few men whom a Byronic disarray becomes. Damier saw in the
-face the enchantment that had deluded Clara Chanfrey, and hints of the
-horror that had wrecked all enchantment. The longer one looked at the
-ardent, dreamy eyes, the perfect lips,--helpless, as it were, before
-one, and unable in charm of change to divert one's attention from their
-essential meaning,--the more one felt cruel selfishness, hard
-indifference, and lurking evil. Instinctively he turned and walked away
-from Monsieur Vicaud as he heard footsteps outside.
-
-When the mother and daughter came in together, he could infer, even more
-clearly than from the bareness of the salon, from Madame Vicaud's shabby
-furs and unfashionable wrap, that life, to be kept up at all with
-niceness and finish, must be something of a struggle for them; yet, with
-her small black bonnet, which she was tying with black gauze ribbons
-beneath her chin, her neat gloves, the poise of her shoulders, and her
-swift, light step, she was still unmistakably _une elegante_. It was
-natural, he supposed,--though feeling some resentment at such
-naturalness,--that the struggle should be the mother's mainly; the law
-of maternal self-sacrifice perhaps demanded it. Claire was charmingly
-dressed, simply, and with a Parisienne's unerring sense of harmony and
-fitness. She was neither shabby nor unfashionable; the fashion, too,
-expressed her, not itself.
-
-After all, she still, though she was no longer _une toute jeune
-fille_,--she must be twenty-seven,--had her life before her, and her
-achievement of pretty clothes could hardly be imputed as blame to her.
-
-The early November afternoon in the Bois was misty, with sunlight in the
-mist; the air was mild. Madame Vicaud's dark eyes looked down the long
-vistas, seeing, perhaps, other figures in them, other pictures. Damier
-and Mademoiselle Vicaud talked of Italy. She had never been there, but
-she questioned him about Florence and Rome, and Madame Vicaud asked him
-if he had heard much of the old church music; and the music had been his
-greatest enjoyment. Madame Vicaud was fond of Palestrina, she said; but
-she said little of the fondness, and only listened with a half-detached,
-half-assenting smile while Claire and the young man went on from Gluck
-to Wagner. Mademoiselle Vicaud was full of admiration--though her
-admirations were always unemphatic--for the latter; but Madame Vicaud,
-though retaining, evidently, no lurking survivals of taste for the
-operatic music of her youth, would own only to a tempered liking for the
-great opera-master. She mused lightly over Damier's demand for her
-preferences, and inclined to think that opera never meant much to her;
-it was a form of art that offended her taste almost inevitably; its
-appeal to the eye could so rarely justify itself, and the music, of
-course, was restricted by its being pinned down to definite descriptive
-themes.
-
-Claire hummed out, in a melancholy, emotional contralto, a phrase from
-"Tristan." "I can't sing him--none of our French throats can; but he
-fills me, sweeps me up; that is all I ask of music. Mamma likes music to
-lift her; I like it to carry me away." Among the deep, almost purple
-reds of her hair, the tawny luster of her coiling furs, her cheeks, in
-the keen, fresh air, glowed dimly. "No, I could not sing Wagner," she
-sighed; "but I could sing. I am an _artiste manquee_; the one, perhaps,
-for being my father's daughter, the other for being my mother's. She
-would rather have me teach--try to force a little of my own energy and
-feeling into dough-like souls--than have me sing in public."
-Mademoiselle Vicaud's smile had no rancor as she made these statements,
-and her mother's distant gaze showed no change, nor did she speak.
-
-"It is a hard and a rather tawdry life, that of an opera-singer," said
-Damier; "and, I fancy, almost an impossible one in Paris."
-
-"Ah, but I am tawdry," Claire observed. If antagonism there had ever
-been on this subject, it had evidently long since left behind it the
-stage of discussion. Claire made no appeal or protest--merely stated
-facts.
-
-"You see," she went on, very much as if she and Damier were alone
-together, "if it were not for that artist nature, Mamma would not,
-perhaps, mind so much. It is because I am not--what shall we call
-it?--respectable? _hein_?--well, that will serve--that she dreads such
-tests for me."
-
-Damier now saw that, though Madame Vicaud's silence kept all its calm,
-she very slightly flushed. He felt in her a something, proud and
-shrinking, that steeled itself to hear the jarring note of her
-daughter's jest; and was it a jest? Again the contrast in the two faces
-struck him, this time with something of fundamental alienation in the
-contrast. It occupied his mind after Madame Vicaud, very unemphatically,
-not at all as if she felt that it needed turning, took the lead of the
-conversation, and while Claire, leaning back in her corner, listened
-with, when she was particularly addressed, her indolent "Ah!" It was,
-indeed, like going from one world to another to look from her mother's
-face to hers. Already he felt for her a mingling of irritation and pity
-that was to grow as he knew her better.
-
-How strangely she was tainted with something really almost _canaille_;
-the soft depth of her voice reeked with it. And how strangely blind must
-the affection of the mother be that could bridge the chasm that
-separated her from her daughter, unconscious--her evident devotion to
-her proved that--of its very existence.
-
-
-
-
-VI
-
-
-MADAME and Mademoiselle Vicaud were at home on Tuesdays,
-and Damier felt that he would always receive a courteously cordial
-welcome on these formal occasions; but he felt, too, for some weeks,
-that the courtesy, the pleasant graciousness of his reception, did not
-grow in warmth. He was accepted, but no more. Madame Vicaud treated him
-as she might have treated him had he been but one habitue of a crowded
-salon. Her salon was anything but crowded; he soon had numbered its
-habitues. There was a monotony about these Tuesday reunions; they were
-rather thin and colorless; thin only in quantity, not in quality, for
-that was excellent--reminded him of Madame Vicaud's black silk dresses
-with their white lawn cuffs and collars, a quality worn but
-irreproachable. Damier came to find a flavor, an unusualness, in the
-cool cheerfulness of the Tuesday teas.
-
-The salon in the Rue B---- on these occasions had some vases of flowers,
-and the tea, brought in by the monastic Angelique, boasted bread and
-butter and _madeleines_ as well as the daily _petits beurres_ that
-Damier had been offered on a more informal visit.
-
-To the teas came old Madame Depressier, who was of an impoverished
-Huguenot family, and who spent her time in works of charity, a serene
-woman with a large white face--a woman, Damier found on talking to her,
-of character and learning. She and Madame Vicaud talked of books,
-lectures, and poor people, and smiled much together. Madame Crecy came
-also, dignified, middle-aged, interested in _le mouvement feministe_, a
-writer of essays, dark, decisive, a charm in her bright ugliness. There
-was a dim, devout, and gentle old Comtesse de Comprailles. She had
-known Madame Vicaud for years, from before her marriage, and her piety
-had lifted her above the realization of the secular troubles of her
-friend, and had, indeed, kept their relation a softly superficial one.
-With the comtesse came sometimes a tall, thin priest, her cousin, also
-dim, devout, and gentle in these social relations with heretics.
-
-There was a young Polish art-student, a girl with a thin, ardent face,
-and an attire manlike from its deficiency of adornment rather than from
-any pose. She wore very short cloth skirts,--shortened by several years
-of wear and mending, our acutely sympathetic young man guessed,--a
-knotted handkerchief around her throat, and a soft felt hat. To this
-young woman, who, Damier heard, had great talent and was miserably poor,
-Madame Vicaud showed a peculiar tenderness. Sophie Labrinska had a look
-at once weary and keen. She seldom spoke, but her face lighted up with a
-smile for her hostess, and on Tuesdays she always played to them--and
-played with an ungirl-like mastery and beauty of interpretation--a
-ballade, nocturne, or mazurka of Chopin.
-
-Lady Vibert and her daughter came too. They lived in a tiny flat near
-the Bois, finding poverty in Paris more genial and resourceful than in
-England. Miss Vibert, a fresh-colored young woman with prominent teeth,
-studied art also, and for years had gone daily to a studio from which,
-each week, she brought back to the tiny flat a life-size torso, very
-neatly painted. She and her mother were cheerful, eager people, taking
-their Paris, their _abonnement_ at the Theatre Francais,--a rite they
-religiously fulfilled,--their bi-weekly lecture at the Ecole de France,
-with a pleasant seriousness. Madame Vicaud lifted her eyebrows and
-smiled a little, though very kindly, over Miss Vibert's artistic
-progress; but she was fond of her.
-
-As for Claire, she showed little fondness, with one exception, for any
-of her mother's guests. Miss Vibert talked to her in clear, high tones,
-but Claire spoke little to her, and only answered with her most
-slumberous smiles. For Sophie she had neither smiles nor words. She
-ignored her--but not with an effect of intentional ignoring; it was
-merely that the little Polish girl made no advances, and unless she were
-advanced to, Claire, in her mother's salon, maintained an air of
-indolent detachment--except for one member of it, the only one who could
-be said to recall, definitely, what there was of bohemia in Madame
-Vicaud's past. Monsieur Claude Daunay did no more than recall it, for
-his bohemianism was of a most tempered quality, consisting in a kindly
-indifference to smallnesses, a half-humorous choice of the
-unconventional rather than an ignorant imprisonment in it. He was a man
-of about fifty, and his massive gray head, Jovian hair and beard, his
-kindly, wearied eyes and stooping yet stalwart figure, made him a
-distinguished apparition at Madame Vicaud's teas. She placed him,
-sketched him for Damier in a few words, the most open that her reserve
-had yet allowed her, and it was then only after a good many Tuesdays:
-"He knew my husband, and was very kind to him, and to me, when we were
-in need of kindness. He has no genius,--he, too, is a painter, you
-know,--but a vast appreciation, and a vast generosity in the expression
-of it, and much distinction of mind and talent."
-
-Monsieur Daunay was married, but his marriage was an unfortunate one.
-Madame Daunay had been the reverse of a model wife; she lived, an
-invalid, a life of retirement in the country, and was supposed to make
-much bitterness in the existence of her husband, who had his home with a
-_vieille fille_ cousin in Paris. Damier liked the scholarly artist, his
-mild smile and air of weary unexpectancy.
-
-It was with Monsieur Daunay that Claire was her most vivid self, with
-him and with their new "young" friend--though, when Monsieur Daunay was
-present, Damier's relegation to the background bespoke an excellent
-loyalty to older ties. There was something very nearly filial in her
-graceful and affectionate solicitude for Monsieur Daunay. She would
-sweep, in trailing gowns, always a little over-perfumed,--it was the
-point where her taste seemed to fail her,--and always late, into the
-salon, and, if Monsieur Daunay were there, go at once to him after a
-formal acknowledgment of the other presences in the room. She did not
-talk much with him,--she talked more to Damier,--but while he talked to
-her she smiled at him, an encouraging, responsive smile.
-
-Monsieur Daunay spoke to Damier of Madame Vicaud as _une ame exquise_,
-and of Claire as _une charmante enfant_, a term emphasizing his almost
-paternal attitude, an emphasis made more noticeable by his more formal
-relations with the mother. Damier saw that he was very fond of Claire,
-but that between him and Madame Vicaud there were no bonds closer than
-a courteous understanding and regard. On Tuesday, after tea and talk,
-music would be brought out, candles lighted at the piano, Claire would
-sing while Monsieur Daunay accompanied her on the piano or her mother on
-the harp, Sophie would play her Polish music, and Monsieur Daunay and
-Madame Vicaud give a solo each or a duet. There was not a trace of the
-amateur in these performances; the pleasure was great, and, for Damier,
-the charm too deep for analysis, in this listening with her, or to her,
-in the quiet room, among these quiet, subdued, rather sad people.
-
-He was still, in a sense, outside the barrier, but they all were, he
-fancied, in the sense he meant. These Tuesdays were the nearest, really,
-that any of them ever came to her. Yet they were more definitely
-accepted as friends: he was still the onlooker.
-
-It was only humorously that he resented his slow advance to a more
-individual standing. He could hardly himself measure it; and yet he
-felt that he was being observed, weighed, thought over, and, almost
-imperceptibly, that her smile for him gained in meaning.
-
-
-
-
-VII
-
-
-IT was through a book they spoke of, a book which he
-said he would bring to her, that they came at last face to face, and,
-for the first time really, alone together. He found her in the firelit
-room; her last pupil had gone, and she was sitting before her harp, her
-hands in her lap, her eyes looking vaguely in front of her. There had
-been a fall of snow, and the chill February afternoon outside was
-desolate in its white and gray and black. Within there was the serenity,
-the flicker of firelight, Madame Vicaud, and her silent harp.
-
-She turned her head with her smile of welcome, and, as he drew a chair
-near hers, lightly touched a harp-string. The throb of the vibrant note
-echoed in the young man's heart. For the first time, after a winter of
-patient waiting, he was alone with his mystery, alone with the woman he
-adored; for that he adored this cold, sweet, faded woman, with her
-fragrant life blossoming on its black background, was as much a fact of
-his existence as that he had seen her photograph on that distant sunny
-day.
-
-"My work is over," she said. "I am feeling indolent. Ah, you have
-brought the book; thank you. Will you read it now to me--a little?" She
-leaned back, smiling still; her eyes, he felt, studying him more openly,
-yet more kindly, than ever before. "Will you ring for the candles then,
-or would you rather sit on for a little while in this blindman's
-holiday?"
-
-"I would rather sit on, and have you play to me, if you are not too
-tired."
-
-"I am tired of teaching--of listening, not of playing." She at once
-adjusted her foot, stretched her arms, bending to the instrument, and
-played an old and plaintive melody.
-
-"Exquisite," said Damier, when it ended. "It is so staid in form, yet so
-melancholy in feeling."
-
-"Yes; like the melancholy of a sad heart, whispering its sorrow to
-itself under the lace and brocade of a long-dead epoch." She went on to
-a joyous little pastoral, and said, smiling at him, that that was like a
-bank of primroses; and, after the next, "And that all innocent solemnity
-and sweetness, like a nun's prayer." And when she had finished they sat
-in silence for some time.
-
-"Have you always played?" he asked her at last, seeing her suddenly as a
-young girl in a white dress, with a green ribbon around her waist, an
-emerald locket at her throat, sitting at her harp.
-
-"Always; I learned when I was a child." The unspoken sadness of the past
-seemed to steal about them; he seemed to hear the "sad heart whispering
-to itself" as they sat there in the firelight.
-
-"I have often thought," Madame Vicaud said, turning suddenly toward him
-and smiling with a touch of constraint, "that it was very nice of you to
-seek us out like this. I have often wanted to speak to you about it. For
-it was you rather than Mrs. Mostyn who sought, was it not? What made you
-think of it?" she asked, her smile growing in sweetness as his eyes
-dwelt on hers.
-
-"It was a very romantic reason," Damier said; "or, no, I won't belittle
-my reason by that trivial term; it was a very serious reason, rather, a
-very real one. I saw your photograph in an album belonging to Mrs.
-Mostyn, and then I wanted to see you."
-
-She looked at him in silence.
-
-"How very strange!" she presently said. "Wanted enough for that?"
-
-"To seek you? Quite enough; more." He smiled. "Yes, it was strange--is
-strange. I did not know whether you were alive or dead, nor did Mrs.
-Mostyn."
-
-"And you set out in quest of me?"
-
-"Yes, after a time. At first Mrs. Mostyn could hear nothing of you. I
-met another old acquaintance of yours--Sir Henry Quarle. He talked to
-me about you, too, and immediately afterward I got your address from
-Mrs. Mostyn and her letter to you. Then I set out at once."
-
-Madame Vicaud looked at him with a grave, speculating look for some
-silent moments, before saying, turning her eyes away and once more
-showing constraint in her voice:
-
-"You heard that I had been unfortunate--unhappy? You were sorry for
-that?"
-
-"Yes; but had you been very fortunate, very happy, I should still have
-looked for you."
-
-"But why? Did you like my face so much?"
-
-"So much. I felt that I should have known you long ago, and that, having
-missed you for so long through the stupid accident of the years, I must
-know you always in the future. I should have felt it had you been dead."
-His charming eyes dwelling on her with a perfect candor and simplicity,
-for it was easy at last to speak these familiar thoughts to her, he
-added: "I needed you; I had always needed you. And so, it seemed to me,
-you needed me; your eyes in the photograph called to me."
-
-At this she looked swiftly at him with an astonishment that slowly
-softened to a smile. "You are a strange, a good friend," she said.
-
-"You accept me as such?"
-
-"Ah, yes," she replied, "I accept you as such--gratefully. I don't call
-you. Those days are over."
-
-She rose, pushing the harp aside, and walked slowly down the room,
-pausing at the window and looking out. He divined that she was much
-touched, even that there were tears in her eyes. He feared to show her
-the depths of his feeling for her, his longing to enter her life, help
-her, if it might be, in it; but, rising too, he said in a slightly
-trembling voice: "You don't need my friendship, but I need yours. Let
-that be my claim."
-
-"Your claim to what?" she asked, her face still turned from him.
-
-"To the hope that I may grow into your confidence--the hope that you
-will lean on me, trust me completely, and that, with time, I may,
-perhaps, mean something to you of what you mean to me."
-
-Her face now, as she looked at him, showed a curious, a vivid look of
-wonder, humor, tenderness, and sadness.
-
-"What am I, that I should mean so much to you? You don't know me."
-
-"Is that your kind way of intimating that I can mean nothing to
-you--that you don't know me?" he smiled.
-
-"Ah, don't think that I am so hard and stupid!" she said quickly. "Don't
-think that I am fencing with you, trying to ward off a friendship I
-can't appreciate. Don't think that I have no need of a friend. I have; I
-have--only I had forgotten to feel it. I do not say that I have no
-friends; you know that I have, and good ones--only you do not wish to
-rank with them. Isn't it so?" She smiled swiftly, from her gravity, at
-him. "There is good Madame Depressier, and the comtesse, and little
-Sophie,--who needs me, poor child, in her struggle and loneliness,--and
-the others, true and good all; but none near. You would be near,--would
-you not?--and have me share pain with you--lean on you, you say." His
-fine young face, stern with eagerness, followed her words in silent
-assent. "But it would be difficult for me to have such a friend. I have
-never had such a friend. It is difficult, painful to me to show myself,
-be myself. I am a hard, I fear a spoiled, stunted nature. You heard--of
-course you must have heard; it is the one thing that anybody must hear
-who hears at all of me--that my marriage was very unhappy. It warped me;
-it froze me. There was no one to help me when I needed help, or to hear
-me, even had I not been too proud to call, and I lost the power of
-appeal or self-expression. If I had been gentler, less bitter in my
-despair, less rebellious, I might have kept more in touch with life,
-been more natural, more responsive. As it is, I can still feel--deeply,
-deeply; but it is hard for me to respond. I am old enough to be your
-mother. No? Well, almost." She smiled slightly at his exactitude. "I am
-very different from the girl in the photograph whose eyes called to
-you--prophetic eyes they must have been! You must not expect fine things
-of me; you must not idealize me." She put her hand gently, maternally on
-his shoulder. "Never idealize me. That is a dangerous--a terrible thing
-to do."
-
-"Can you look at me," he asked, putting his hand on hers--"can you look
-at me and think that I could idealize you?--see you as anything else
-than you are? Don't you feel that, indeed, I can see you much more
-clearly than you see yourself--the girl in the photograph, and the woman
-old enough, almost old enough, to be my mother? You are shut into your
-present. I see you in it--and in all your past."
-
-She stood looking gravely into his eyes as he looked into hers. In hers
-there was--not seen by him and hardly felt by herself--a swiftly
-passing, an immense regret, an immense sadness. It was like the sweeping
-shadow of a flying wing, and left only the limpidity of sweetest, most
-candid acquiescence. In his eyes, too, there was regret--passionate
-regret; and he felt it, and felt that she could not understand or read
-it, nor the vague, strong hope that so strangely informed it.
-
-"So I have a friend, a new yet an old friend," said Madame Vicaud. "You
-perplex me, but I believe in all you say. You give me great happiness."
-
-He lifted the hand under his and bent his lips to it. She looked down at
-his bowed head with a smile that was a benediction.
-
-On that first day of their friendship, as they sat together, she again
-before her harp, it was, oddly, he who leaned and confided. Almost
-boyishly, under her comprehending eyes, he unfolded for her his life,
-its deepest efforts and its deepest disappointments. Madame Vicaud,
-while he talked and she questioned, drew her fingers softly, from time
-to time, across her harp-strings. He never forgot the hour, nor the
-sense of communion that the silvery ripple of the harp-strings made
-paradisiacal.
-
-"And will you not marry? Have you not thought of marrying?" she asked.
-
-He considered her with what he knew to be a whimsical smile at her
-unconsciousness.
-
-"I have been too great a coward ever to get further than thinking of it.
-My love-affairs have rarely passed the speculative stage. My ideals of
-marriage are of a most exacting nature."
-
-"Ah, that is well," she said. "Never lower them to fit some reality
-that, for the moment, appeals. I hope," she added, "that you will some
-day find the woman who realizes them."
-
-No, the silly accident oi the years too much blinded her, Damier felt,
-for her to see, yet, that she was the woman. He himself was too much
-dazzled to see beyond the fact itself. Any question of love or marriage
-seemed irrelevant, did not enter at all into this wonderful and happy
-place where her harp rippled, her eyes smiled, where she understood that
-he had found her.
-
-
-
-
-VIII
-
-
-AFTER this there was no more the feeling of a barrier.
-It was gone; and with perfect graciousness and trust she admitted him to
-the personal standing and nearness he had asked for. She was all
-confidence now, although she made no confidences. He felt that her trust
-in him hid nothing from him, and yet that her pride made her past
-sorrows so poignantly intimate that they must be understood between her
-friend and herself, not spoken of.
-
-The nearer intimacy with the mother did not bring Damier into nearer
-intimacy with the daughter, for the simple reason that he was already so
-intimate. From the first Damier had felt that he understood Claire
-Vicaud. He could not yet clearly define what he understood, but she
-could have no revelations for him. Her father explained her, and her
-mother reclaimed her. That was her history, and he imagined that neither
-she nor her mother was aware of the history, but the mother less than
-she. Indeed, he fancied, at times, that he saw her far more clearly than
-did the mother--hoped that the mother had not his direct vision.
-
-He was rather fond of Claire, with a fondness tolerant, humorous, and
-pitying. What he saw in her were thwarted energies, well thwarted, yet
-pathetic in their enforced composure; he saw voiceless rebellion, and
-the dumb discomfort of a creature reared in an environment not its own.
-This simile might have cast a reproach upon the mother had it conjured
-up the vision of an unkindly caged pantheress; but the simile so seen
-was too poetical for Claire. It was not the wild, fine, free thing of
-nature that circumstance had caged, but the product of over-civilized
-senses--senses only, and corrupt senses. There was the point that made
-her piteous and repellent.
-
-Claire's claim on life was not a high one. Hers was not even an esthetic
-fastidiousness of sense nor a romantic coloring of emotion; there was
-nothing delicate or warm or eager about her. Her wishes were not
-yearnings; they were steadfast inclinations toward all the evident, the
-palpable, perhaps the baser pleasures of life, pleasures that would most
-certainly have been hers had not fate--in the shape of a mother to whom
-these pleasures were non-existent rather than despicable--lifted her
-above the possible grasp at them: jewels, clothes, magnificent
-establishments, riotous living. She was cold, but she would welcome
-passively the warmth of admiration about her. She had not her father's
-genius to transmute the tawdry cravings of her inheritance from him. She
-had his quick, clear intelligence, and it seemed only to make harder,
-more decisive, her centering in self.
-
-Damier could see her as the painted prima donna (never as the sincere
-and serious artist), bowing her languorous triumph before the curtain;
-could see her laughing in ugly mirth at Gallic jests among a crowd of
-clever _rapins_; could horribly image her--most horribly when one
-remembered who was her mother--rolling in a lightly swung carriage down
-the Avenue des Acacias, a modern Cleopatra in her barge, alluring in
-indifference under her parasol, and dressed with the consummate and
-conscious art that does not flower in the sound soil of respectability.
-These were, indeed, horrid thoughts, and as absurd as horrid when the
-mother stood beside them. Even to think them seemed to put a dagger into
-a heart already many times stabbed. Yet separate mother and
-daughter,--it was ominously easy so to separate them,--and nothing in
-Claire reproached and contradicted such images. Inevitably they arose,
-and, as inevitably, the companion picture of the mother, like a
-transfixed Mater Dolorosa.
-
-To the mother he felt that in giving interest and attention to Claire
-he rendered a service more grateful to her than any homage. He proposed
-that he should take Claire for walks sometimes, and he felt something of
-the staidness of the girl's upbringing in Madame Vicaud's acquiescence,
-in its implied trust--a trust that waived a custom in his favor. It
-expressed the mother's attitude against all that was lax or undignified
-in life. Claire could go with him, their friend, but, Claire told him
-with a light laugh, she seldom went out alone. "Only sometimes with
-Monsieur Daunay--but he is like a father, almost; and to the
-dressmaker's; and almost always Mamma is with me--we are such
-companions, you know." Damier could not quite determine as to possible
-irony in her placid tones. He looked upon these walks with Claire--they
-would cross the Seine, looking up at Carpeaux's jocund group on the
-Pavillon de Flore, and pace sedately in the Tuileries Gardens or up the
-Champs-Elysees--as expressions of his identification of himself with
-Madame Vicaud's interests, for he always felt that it pleased her that
-he should ask Claire to go; yet, after each one of them, he could not
-defend himself from the strange sensation that he had been in an
-atmosphere disloyal to his friend. The atmosphere was so different, yet
-so subtly different, when Claire was alone with him, or with him and her
-mother. So subtle was the difference that any remonstrance on his part
-might constitute a stupid rebuff to her unconsciousness; yet so
-different were her tones, her look, her laugh, so different the quality
-of her frankness, its _gaillardise_, as it were, and its familiarity,
-almost insolent in its assurance--so different were all these that he
-could hardly believe her unconscious of the change. He did understand
-her; that was the trouble: for she acted as if he did, and as if all
-pretenses were unnecessary between them, and free breathing a relief to
-both after a burdensome atmosphere. Damier, while they walked, showed a
-grave kindliness, listened to her, assented or dissented with a careful
-accuracy that amused himself. He was not quite sure why, with Claire, he
-seldom felt it safe to be flexible or flippant; some dim instinct of
-self-protection before this embryotic soul and quick intelligence made
-him guard himself against all misinterpretations, made him scrupulous in
-defining the differences between them. Claire referred little to her
-mother, and then, at least in the beginnings of their intercourse, in
-the tones of commonplace respect, with something of the effect, he more
-and more realized, of shuffling aside an excellence that they both took
-for granted but hardly cared to linger over--she certainly did not,
-though he might have odd, pretty tastes for the past and done with.
-
-What to him was poetry--for, to a certain extent, she seemed to
-appreciate his attitude toward her mother--was to her the mere furniture
-of life. Damier resented, but for some time was helpless; she gave him
-no occasion for declaration or defense. Once or twice, when, _a propos
-de bottes_, as far as actual comment was required, he seriously spoke of
-his deep admiration for her mother, Claire listened with a
-_cela-va-sans-dire_ expression vastly baffling. Only by degrees, and
-only after some definite sharpnesses on his side, did she seem to
-realize that, in including him in her own casual attitude toward her
-mother, she not only misinterpreted but irritated and antagonized him.
-After that realization she never so offended again. Indeed, with an air
-of honoring his fantastic sensitiveness, yet with gravity, as if to show
-him that she, too, could appreciate moral charm, the pathos of defeat
-and finality, she often alluded to her mother's fine and gracious
-qualities; but, in spite of this concession, Damier was still aware of
-the indefinable difference that made the atmosphere seem disloyal.
-
-She said one day: "You have really decided to live in Paris--for ever
-and ever--_hein_? Is it we you are studying? Do you find us
-interesting?"
-
-"Very," replied Damier.
-
-"But the world is full of so many more interesting people," said Claire,
-"than two ladies, one almost old and one rapidly leaving her youth
-behind her, who live the narrowest of lives and give lessons to make
-butter for their bread."
-
-"I have not met many more interesting."
-
-"Then it is--to study us?" Her sleepy smile was upon him.
-
-Damier had certainly no intention of confiding in Claire the reasons for
-his stay in Paris, feeling suddenly, indeed, that the young woman
-herself formed a rather serious problem in all practical considerations
-of these reasons; yet the attitude implied in her question demanded a
-negative. "No, it isn't because I am studying you; it is because I am
-fond of you," he said, bringing out the words with a touch of
-awkwardness, feeling their simplicity to be almost crude.
-
-Claire was reflectively silent for some moments, observing his face, he
-knew, though he was not looking at her.
-
-"_Vous etes un original_," she said at last, with quite the manner of
-her race when abandoning, as impenetrable to rational probes, some
-specimen of British eccentricity.
-
-On another day a little incident occurred, slight, yet destined to
-impress Damier with a deeper sense of Claire's unsoundness. They were
-walking down the Champs-Elysees, in the windy brightness of a March
-afternoon, when, in the distance, near the Rond Point, they discerned
-the easily recognizable figure of Monsieur Daunay. Claire, as this old
-friend appeared upon the field of vision, put her hand in Damier's arm
-and, drawing him toward one of the smaller streets that slope down to
-the spacious avenue, said, smiling unemphatically: "Don't let us meet
-him."
-
-"Why not?" Damier inquired, surprised, and conscious in his surprise of
-a quick hostility to Claire and to her smiling look of dexterous
-evasion.
-
-"He hasn't seen us--come," she insisted, though the insistence was still
-veiled in humor.
-
-"Why should he not see us? I shall be glad to see him."
-
-Her eyes measured Monsieur Daunay's distance before she said, with
-something of impatience at his slowness of comprehension: "He will be
-shocked--think it improper--our walking out alone like this." Damier
-stared at her, stolidly resistant to the soft pull of her hand.
-
-"Improper? Your mother consenting--you an Englishwoman, I an
-Englishman?"
-
-"He is a Frenchman, and I am half French; you seem to forget that, both
-you and Mamma, at times." If she was irritated with him she successfully
-controlled her irritation, and Monsieur Daunay was so near that flight
-before his misinterpretation was impossible. She evidently resigned
-herself to the situation of Damier's making--let him feel, with a shrug
-of her shoulders, that it was of his making indeed, but, by a
-half-indifferent, half-ironic smile, that he was forgiven; he must be
-strong enough for both of them, the smile said.
-
-Monsieur Daunay approached, doffing his hat, and Damier at once
-perceived that there was certainly in his eye a cogitation very
-courteous, but altogether out of keeping, he thought, with the
-importance of its cause. He himself felt absent-minded, his thoughts
-engaged more with the analysis of the new and disagreeable sensation
-Claire had given him than with the sensations she might have given
-Monsieur Daunay. He replied somewhat vaguely to Monsieur Daunay's
-salutations, and, not so vaguely, heard Claire saying, "Mamma has sent
-us out for a walk."
-
-"Fine weather for walking," Monsieur Daunay replied, looking away from
-the young woman up at the vivid spring sky and round at the expansive
-day, all wind, sunlight, and sauntering groups of people.
-
-"You often walk here?" he continued pleasantly.
-
-"Not so often; I am too hard worked to get a frequent holiday: but Mr.
-Damier takes us out sometimes."
-
-"Madame Vicaud is at home?"
-
-"Yes; she has pupils, or she would have been with us."
-
-"She is well, I trust?"
-
-"Very well. We shall see you at tea to-morrow?" Claire laid a gently
-urgent hand upon his arm. "I have been practising the Gluck. I think you
-will be pleased with it. You will come?"
-
-"With great pleasure, as always," said the Frenchman, but still with
-something of unwonted gravity beneath his apparent ease.
-
-They parted, and Claire and Damier walked on.
-
-"He was shocked," said Claire, mildly.
-
-Monsieur Daunay might or might not be shocked, but Damier felt that he
-himself was, more so than he could quite account for. He fixed upon that
-wholly unnecessary half-untruth of hers; he could not let it pass.
-
-"We have often come here; your mother has only once come with us," he
-said, with the effect of cold shyness that his displeasure usually took;
-it always required an effort of distinct courage on Eustace Damier's
-part to express displeasure.
-
-"There was no necessity for him to know that," she returned, adding,
-with a laugh: "Now I have shocked both of you--he in his _convenances_,
-you in your English veracity. I don't mind fibbing in the least, I must
-tell you."
-
-"Don't you?" His displeasure was now determined to show its definite
-coolness.
-
-"Not in the least," said Claire, with perfect good humor, "in myself or
-in others"; and she added, with a little laugh at herself, "unless other
-people's fibs interfere with mine; but I think that I mind their fibs
-interfering less than their truths."
-
-Damier resigned himself to feeling that, after all, he was thoroughly
-prepared for any such developments in Claire; it was the tragedy in the
-thought of the other Clara that was knocking at his heart.
-
-
-
-
-IX
-
-
-THE arrival in Paris, where she was to pass some months,
-of a friend of Damier's, Lady Surfex, a charming, capable woman whose
-husband was his nearest friend, was the means of casting a further and
-still more lurid light upon Claire's character and Madame Vicaud's past.
-
-Damier wished to bring Madame Vicaud and Lady Surfex together. He had
-plans, and was vastly amused to realize that they were of a quite
-paternal character. These plans did not go beyond the thought that a
-widening of Claire's life might be an excellent thing for her, and, as a
-result, a happy thing for her mother. To see Claire well, safely,
-happily married, would not this be the lifting of a problem from the
-mother's heart? As yet he had not gone further and told himself that it
-would leave the mother's heart freer for the contemplation of other
-problems. Now Claire's chances of a prosperous marriage would certainly
-be multiplied if he could bring around her and her mother a few such
-friends as Lady Surfex. He spoke to her, on his first visit to her, of
-the Vicauds, and of his wish that they might meet. "The charming Clara
-Chanfrey!" Lady Surfex said. (With what a chime all allusions to Clara
-Chanfrey always began, to end with such funereal tolling!) "Ah, you make
-me feel how old I am becoming, for how often in my girlhood I heard my
-mother speak of her! She always spoke severely. Mother belonged to the
-old regime, you know--saw things steadily, and saw them whole, perhaps,
-but rather narrowly, and only one thing at a time. She couldn't take in,
-as it were, the extenuations of circumstance. And she was a great friend
-of Lady Chanfrey's. Lady Chanfrey infected all her allies with her own
-bitterness. But the memory of the daughter's charm came through it. She
-was like her father, not like her mother. I never liked the little I
-remember of Lady Chanfrey. But I have heard of Madame Vicaud since I
-used to hear of her from mother, and, I am sorry to say, more and more
-sadly."
-
-"All I hear of her is sad," said Damier. "Every echo from her past is a
-groan!"
-
-"Poor woman!" Lady Surfex mused. "First the awful husband, and then the,
-to say the least of it, trying daughter."
-
-Damier's heart stiffened. "Trying? In what way--I may ask?"
-
-"Of course you may--you know them so well; and, as I see, your sympathy
-is all with the mother. Well, I am afraid she is altogether trying, but
-the instance of which I was thinking deserves a severer adjective. Some
-friends of mine in Cheshire, nice, quiet people, had always kept more or
-less in touch with Madame Vicaud during her stormy life. They did not
-meet, but they sometimes wrote. Mrs. Barnett and she had been friends
-in girlhood. Claire, when she grew up, went to stay with them. Very
-beautiful, very clever, singing wonderfully, yet, from the beginning,
-she struck a false note. And then there was the ugly little story: a
-young man, Captain Dauncey, fell madly in love with her; they were
-engaged; and, within hardly a month's time, she jilted him openly and
-brazenly for a better match. That was only the beginning. Sir Everard
-Comber was madly in love, too, but Mrs. Barnett told me that they felt
-that he knew there was no good metal under her glamour; the glamour was
-so great that he hoodwinked himself. It was tragic to see him trying not
-to see. And one day he and Mrs. Barnett found Mademoiselle Vicaud
-engaged in a flirtation in an arbor, indolently allowing an adoring
-young man to kiss her hand, his arm around her waist. Mrs. Barnett said
-that it was the most unpleasant of situations--poor Sir Everard's face,
-the girl's look of dismay, followed by an instant assumption of
-coolness. She was able, almost at once, to show a humorous, half-vexed,
-half-tolerant smile, and to pretend that she expected them to share her
-playful anger against the hugely embarrassed culprit. She behaved,
-afterward, very badly about Sir Everard's breaking off the engagement,
-which he did most delicately and generously. She had no dignity; she was
-furious, and showed that she was. She even hinted once--only once, but
-it was enough--at a breach-of-promise suit and damages.
-
-"Madame Vicaud appeared in the midst of the commotion, and quenched in a
-moment the ugly flicker of vulgarity. The Barnetts guessed that there
-must have been a terrible scene between the two, but Madame Vicaud
-carried off her daughter, completely quelled, it seemed. She could not
-save the situation; she merely made it tragic instead of odious. That is
-the story," said Lady Surfex, after a pause in which Damier, with a
-whitened face, kept a sick silence--"only the story, after all, of a
-vulgar girl who makes her mother piteous.
-
-"I should love to meet Madame Vicaud. She does not know that I know,
-nor, I think, does the girl. The best thing, I fancy, would be if the
-girl could be married off to somebody who understood--and didn't mind.
-Don't you think so? Could we try to help Madame Vicaud like that?"
-
-Damier could not think just now of Claire's future; he was thinking,
-persistently, of Madame Vicaud--seeing her as a white flower sunken up
-to the brave and fragile petals in mud. The past clung to her in her
-daughter--greedy, husband-hunting, lax, and vulgar. What must the
-tortured mother's heart have felt at this heaping of shame upon her
-proudest head? How, more and more, he understood, and interpreted, her
-silences, her reserves!
-
-In a dry voice he said that he could hardly hope for any possible
-atonement to Madame Vicaud.
-
-"Have I been wrong in telling you--ungenerous?" asked Lady Surfex.
-
-"No; right. It makes one more able to help her; or, at least, to feel
-where she most needs help. It is only in lifting the daughter that one
-can help her."
-
-"We will lift her!" said Lady Surfex, with a glance at his absorbed
-face. "And then, if we do,--right out of the mother's life,--what will
-she do alone?"
-
-"She would never allow her to be lifted out of her life."
-
-"Well, only in the literal sense of going away to live with her
-husband."
-
-"Her husband! It seems a difficult thing to find her one!"
-
-"Not so much to find one--she is enchanting in appearance, I hear--as to
-keep one. But no doubt she is wiser, better, now. And would you,
-Eustace, live on in Paris indefinitely if the girl married and left her
-mother alone? Is your friendship so absorbing?"
-
-He was able to look at her now with a smile for her acuteness.
-
-"Quite so absorbing."
-
-
-
-
-X
-
-
-YET that very evening Damier was to have his freshly
-emphasized disgust unsettled, as theories are so constantly unsettled by
-new developments of fact. Claire did not show him a new fact about
-herself; she merely explained herself a little further, and made it
-evident that one could not label her "vulgar" and so dispose of her.
-
-It was, curiously, with a keener throb of pity, in the very midst of all
-his new reasons for disliking her, that he found her alone in the salon,
-sitting, in her white evening dress, near the open window--opened on the
-warm spring twilight. There was something of lassitude in her posture,
-the half-droop of her head as she stared vaguely at the sky, something
-of passive, patient strength, a creature that no one could
-love--even--even--he had wondered over it more and more of late--her
-mother? The wonder never came without a sense of fear for the
-desecration that such a thought implied in its forcing itself into an
-inner shrine of sorrow.
-
-His vision in all that concerned the woman he loved had something of a
-clairvoyant quality. At times he felt himself closing his ears, shutting
-his eyes, to whispers, glimpses, which as yet he had no right to see or
-hear.
-
-That evening he was to dine with Madame Vicaud, Claire, and little
-Sophie; and Claire's gown, he felt in prospective, would make poor
-Sophie's ill-fitting blouse look odd by contrast in the box at the
-theater where he was afterward to take them. He had, indeed, never seen
-the girl look more lovely. His over-early arrival had had as its object
-the hope of finding, not the daughter, but the mother, alone. Yet,
-sitting there in the quiet evening air, talking quietly, looking from
-dim tree-tops outside to Claire's white form and splendid head, he felt
-that the unasked-for hour had its interest, even its charm. Claire did
-not charm him, but the mystery of her deep thoughts and shallow heart
-was as alluring to his mind as the merely pictorial attraction of her
-beauty to his eye.
-
-"The chief thing," said Claire,--they had been talking in a desultory
-fashion about life, and in speaking she stretched out her arm in its
-transparent sleeve and looked at it with her placid, powerful look,
-adjusting its fall of lace over her hand,--"the chief thing is to know
-what you want and to determine to get it. People who do that get what
-they want, you know--unless circumstances are peculiarly antagonistic."
-(Damier, in the light of his recent knowledge, found this phrase very
-pregnant.) "You, for instance, have never known exactly what you wanted;
-therefore you have got nothing. My father knew that he wanted to paint
-well--you rarely hear us speak of my father, do you?--though Mamma, you
-see, has his photograph conspicuously _en evidence_ up there, lest I
-should think too ill of him--or guess how ill she thinks of him herself.
-I hardly knew my father at all; he was, no doubt, what is called a very
-bad man, but clever, very clever. He determined to paint well, and he
-did. You know his pictures. I don't care about pictures, but I suppose
-there are few of that epoch that can be compared to that Luxembourg
-canvas of his. Mamma, do you know, never goes to see it. She has never
-really recovered from the shock poor papa gave her prejudices--the
-prejudices of the _jeune fille anglaise_. I"--she smiled a little at
-him, gliding quickly past the silent displeasure that her last words had
-evoked in his expression--"I have a very restricted field for choice;
-but I determine to be well dressed. I have small aims, you say; but with
-me, as yet, circumstances are very antagonistic. I should like many
-pleasures, but as there is only one I can achieve, I am wise as well as
-determined; what I do determine comes to pass. And Mamma--yes, I am
-coming to her. Mamma wanted to be good, and she is, you see, perfectly
-good. And, even more than that, perhaps, she wanted me to be good, too;
-but there either her will was too weak or I too wicked--the latter,
-probably, for she has a strong will."
-
-"Perhaps," said Damier, smiling as he leaned back in his chair, arms
-folded and knees crossed, listening to her--"perhaps you underestimate
-her success, or overestimate the Luciferian splendor of your own
-nature."
-
-"I don't think it is at all splendid," said Claire, composedly; "some
-wickedness is, I grant you; but do I strike you as affecting that kind?"
-
-"I must own that you don't."
-
-"Or, indeed, as affecting anything either picturesque or desirable?" she
-pursued.
-
-Again Damier had to own that she affected no such thing.
-
-"Ah, that is well. I should not like you to misinterpret me," said
-Claire. "I make no poses." And after a slight pause in which he
-wondered anew over her, she added: "I merely like enjoyment better than
-anything else in the world."
-
-"Yours, you know, is a very old philosophy--a universe of will and
-enjoyment; but one must have a great deal of the former to attain the
-latter in a world of so many clashing aims," said Damier.
-
-"Yes, one must."
-
-"And not the highest type of will. The world, so seen, is a terrible
-one."
-
-"Do you think so?" Her look, from the sky, drifted lazily down to him.
-
-"Don't you?"
-
-"No; I think it wonderful, enthralling, if one attains one's aims; it is
-all beautiful, even the suffering--if one avoids suffering one's self."
-
-"You are an esthete--
-
- While safe beneath the roof,
- To hear with drowsy ear the plash of rain."
-
-"Oh, better than rain--the tempest!"
-
-"And how can one avoid suffering, pray?"
-
-"_Mais_,"--Claire had a tolerant smile for his naivete,--"by staying
-under the roof, laughing round the fire. Mamma, you see, would be
-darting out continually into the storm."
-
-"Bringing other people back to shelter."
-
-"And crowding us uncomfortably round the fire, getting the rest of us
-wet!" smiled Claire. "For a case in point--don't you find Sophie a bore?
-She was going to commit suicide when Mamma, through something Miss
-Vibert said, found her. Yes, I assure you, the charcoal was lit--her
-last sous spent on it. And really, do you know, I think it would have
-been a wise thing. Don't be too much horrified at my heartlessness. I
-mean that Sophie will never enjoy herself; nothing in this world will
-ever satisfy her. When she has enough to eat she can realize more
-clearly her higher wants. And--I don't want to seem more ungenerous than
-I am, but, as a result, we have less to eat ourselves. Don't look so
-stony; I am not really _un mauvais coeur_. I would willingly dot
-Sophie, buy her the best husband procurable if I had the money; but
-husbands and houses and money wouldn't make Sophie comfortable, and I
-don't really see that much is gained by making two people less so in
-order to insure the survival of one unfit little Pole."
-
-"I need hardly tell you that I don't share the ruthless materialism of
-that creed. Who, my dear young woman, are you, to pronounce on Sophie's
-unfitness, and to decide that you, rather than she, have a right to
-survival?"
-
-Claire looked at him for a moment with a smile unresentful and yet
-rueful.
-
-"How often you surprise me," she said, "and how often you make me feel
-that I don't, even yet, quite understand you! It is so difficult to
-realize that a person so comprehending can at the same time be so rigid.
-With you _tout comprendre_ is not _tout pardonner_."
-
-"By no means," Damier owned, unable to repress a smile.
-
-"Well, I would far rather have you understand me completely, even if
-you can't forgive. I told you that I was wicked; one good point I have:
-I never pretend to be better than I am."
-
-"And one better point you have, and that is that you are better than you
-know." Damier spoke lightly, but at the moment he believed what he
-spoke.
-
-Claire smiled without replying, and said, after a little silence:
-
-"Of course you have seen how good Mamma is. You both of you have a moral
-perfume, and recognize it in each other. I puzzle and worry her so
-because I won't suffer, won't go out of my life into other people's. You
-asked me how one could avoid suffering; really, for the most part, it is
-very easy to avoid. Sympathy is the fatal thing: _to suffer with_--why
-should one? It is a mere increasing of the suffering in the world, if
-one comes to think of it. The wise thing is to concentrate one's
-self--to bring things to one's self; but it is that wisdom that Mamma
-will not understand in me."
-
-Damier made no comment on these assertions, and Claire, as if she had
-expected none, as if, indeed, she were expounding herself and her mother
-for her own benefit as well as his, went on:
-
-"She is very energetic, too, Mamma, as energetic as I am, but in a
-different way. She is always striving--against things; I wait. Even if
-she can't see distinctly at what she is aiming, she is always aiming at
-something; I never aim unless I see something to aim at."
-
-"What things do you aim at?" he now asked.
-
-"Oh--you know; things that Mamma despises--things that you too despise,
-perhaps, but that, at all events, you understand." He could not quite
-interpret the glance that rested upon him. "And Mamma's aims--I suppose
-you don't care to hear what I think of them?"
-
-"On the contrary, for you think very clearly. But I know what she has
-aimed at. What has she attained?"
-
-He asked himself the question, indeed, with an inner lamentation for
-the one evident, the one tragic failure.
-
-"Well,"--Claire clasped her hands behind her head and looked out of the
-window,--"for one thing, she has kept herself--she hasn't attained it:
-that wasn't needful--_tres grande dame_. She has always made herself a
-social milieu congenial to her, or gone without one. For herself she
-would not choose and exclude so carefully; but I complicate Mamma's
-spontaneous impulses. The social milieu has always been to her a soil in
-which to try to grow my soul; that is why she is so careful about the
-soil; if it were not for me she would probably choose the stoniest and
-ugliest, and beautify it by blooming in it, since her soul is strong and
-beneficent."
-
-Half repelled and half attracted as Damier had been, it was now with
-more of attraction than repulsion that he listened, an attraction that
-had many sources. That she should so finely appreciate her mother was
-one. It was touching--meant to be so, perhaps, for even in his
-attraction he had these moments of doubt; but a sincerity that could
-paint herself so unbecomingly and her mother so beautifully was a new
-revelation of her frankness. There was attraction, too, though of a
-mingled quality, in her strength and in her apparent indifference to his
-impression of her. These were better things than the glamour; yet that,
-too, he felt, as when she turned her eyes on him and said that the world
-was beautiful. At such moments something joyous and conscienceless in
-him responded to her, half intellectual comprehension and half mere
-flesh and blood. It was a little swirl of emotion that his soul, calm
-and disdainfully aloof, could look down on and observe, in no danger of
-being shaken by it; but it did swirl through him like a tremulous coil
-of Venusberg music; and Claire, in her transparent white, with her heavy
-braids and grave, shining eyes, gleamed at such moments with the baleful
-beauty of the eternal siren. As long as one was human something human in
-one must respond to that siren call. Even now, when he was feeling,
-with some bewilderment, better things in her, the glamour looking from
-her eyes, breathing from her serious lips, confused and troubled the new
-impulse of trust and pity. Half lightly, half sadly, yet with a very
-gentle kindliness, he said to her: "Strong enough to make you flower
-some day, let us believe"; and, as silently she still gazed upon him:
-"That you should recognize beauty is already a flower, you know."
-
-Still leaning back, her arms behind her head, still looking at him,
-Claire now said: "I owe that flower, not to her, but to you."
-
-He stared for a moment, not comprehending.
-
-"You mean that you see her, appreciate her, through my sight, my
-appreciation?"
-
-"Yes--in a sense, I mean that."
-
-"But," said Damier, smiling, "you owe it to her that there is something
-beautiful to see."
-
-He was mystified, not quite trusting, yet touched.
-
-Claire, without moving, turned her eyes on the door. "Here she is," she
-said; and as her mother entered, she added, in the lowest voice above a
-whisper, so vaguely that it was like a fragrant perturbing influence
-breathing from the twilight and the spring air:
-
-"I like to owe all my flowers to you."
-
-Already, as he rose to greet the mother, he liked the daughter less.
-
-Madame Vicaud, in her black dress, with flowing white about her wrists
-and throat,--a throat erect and beautiful,--had closed the door softly
-behind her, and as she came toward him, Damier, involuntarily carrying
-further his Venusberg simile of some moments before, thought of an
-Elizabeth bringing peace and radiance; yet there was, too, a gravity in
-her gaze, a quick intentness that went swiftly from her daughter to him.
-Then the smile and the lightness masked her. She took his hand.
-
-"Has not Sophie come yet? Of what have you been talking?"
-
-"Of life, and how to live it," laughed Damier.
-
-"Wise young people! Was it a contest of sublimities?" Madame Vicaud laid
-down the evening wrap she had brought in, and, it seemed to Damier,
-averted her face from him as she took up a box of matches.
-
-"Do I ever fight under the banner of sublimity, Mamma?" Claire inquired,
-looking out of the window, showing once more her accustomed lassitude
-and detachment. "I leave those becoming colors to you--and to Mr.
-Damier."
-
-"But don't, even in jest, my dear, assume always the unbecoming ones,"
-Madame Vicaud replied, still with all her lightness, and bending, her
-face still averted, to strike a match. "You have discovered, have you
-not, Mr. Damier, that it is difficult for Claire to assume the virtues
-that she has?"
-
-She moved about the room, lighting the candles on the mantelpiece and on
-the cabinet where her husband's portrait stood; and Damier, watching
-the swift blackness of her girlish figure, the slender white of her
-uplifted hand,--the black more black, the white more white, as the
-radiance slowly grew in the dim room,--still fancied that she was
-mastering some emotion, hiding from him some sudden agitation. There was
-a faint flush on her face as she turned, gaily and sweetly, blowing out
-and tossing away her match, to welcome Sophie.
-
-
-
-
-XI
-
-
-DAMIER was well aware that some trivial and purely
-subjective fancy or emotion may oddly color and distort reality for one,
-and he was not quite able to decide whether change there really were in
-Madame Vicaud, or whether it was only in his imagination that the
-difference he had fancied in her on that evening was continued during
-the following days. She seemed, in her relations with him, more intimate
-and yet more effaced; and he was almost sure--or was it only the
-reflection of his own solicitude cast upon her?--that she watched him,
-speculated upon him, more than at any time in their friendship, and
-always with that controlled agitation. It was almost as if she guessed
-his new knowledge and understanding of her sorrows and humiliations; as
-if she wondered how much he knew, and how much he was going to let her
-see that he knew. And if she seemed more intimate yet more effaced,
-Claire, for a little while at all events, was less intimate yet more in
-evidence. He had the rather uncomfortable feeling that Claire had
-implied on that evening more than he had been able to understand; that
-she had laid upon him some responsibility that he really never had
-undertaken to accept: but she did not emphasize it further, seemed
-content to let it remain indefinitely apprehended by him, and the slight
-discomfort and perplexity he had felt passed from his mind, leaving only
-in a half-conscious undercurrent the mood of vague doubt and withdrawal,
-mingling with a deeper pity, a deeper desire to help--for her own sake
-now as well as for her mother's.
-
-It was odd, this hint of withdrawal and formality, in the midst of a
-greater kindness, when Claire occupied so much more conspicuously the
-foreground. She was now always with her mother; was a third in all
-talks and readings, listening, with eyes almost ironically vacant, her
-hands lying beautifully indolent in her lap, while Damier read aloud and
-her mother sewed. Claire did not seem to have stepped forward, but her
-mother seemed to have stepped back; and from the background--a
-mysterious one to his odd, new apprehension of things--she smiled more
-tenderly than before, and with yet a tremor, an intentness, as though
-expecting him to understand more than she could look.
-
-And all this might be merely an emotional color in his own outlook on
-unchanged facts, but the color certainly was there, making a faintly
-tinted difference over all the mental landscape.
-
-It was during the first days of this dim perplexity that he found
-himself alone once more with Madame Vicaud. He had outstayed all her
-guests on a Tuesday afternoon, and, the Viberts having taken Claire back
-to dine with them, Madame Vicaud asked the young man to share her
-solitude.
-
-Now, when they were alone, and while he sat cutting the leaves of a new
-book they were to read together, she went about the room, putting things
-back in their places, closing the piano--a little restless in her
-restoration of composure to the room.
-
-Presently she came to him, stood beside him, looking down at the book.
-"Always friends, you know," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder and
-speaking lightly, almost incidentally.
-
-"Why not?" Damier asked, looking up at her.
-
-"Indeed, why not?" she returned, smiling. "Nothing, I hope, would ever
-change our friendship."
-
-"Nothing could." She stood silently beside him, looking down, not at
-him, but at the volume of essays, and he added: "You will tell me if you
-are ever in any trouble or sorrow where I could help you, if ever so
-little?"
-
-"Oh, yes; I will tell you," she answered, still with the lightness that
-contrasted with the tremor of Damier's voice.
-
-Moving away, she asked him, presently, if he did not think that Claire's
-singing that afternoon had been very intelligent. She had sung Orfeo's
-song of search and supplication through Hades, her mother accompanying
-her on the harp. Damier had not altogether cared for Claire's
-interpretation of the song. Claire's voice had thrown an enchantment
-around a rather over-emotional, yet an untender, conception of it.
-
-"Her voice is glorious," he said.
-
-"The song is to me one of the most beautiful parts of the opera," said
-Madame Vicaud; "that lonely, steadfast love, throbbing onward, through
-horror."
-
-"Ah," was on Damier's lips, "you have said what she could not sing"; but
-he had long felt that appreciation of Claire was the greatest pleasure
-he could give to her mother, and depreciation the greatest pain. He
-therefore sat silently looking at her, leaning forward, his hands
-clasped around the idle book-cutter; and Madame Vicaud, with all her
-calm, went on presently, taking up her sewing as she sat near the lamp
-with its plain green shade: "Do you think Claire's life very gray--very
-dreary?"
-
-The question from one who, on this subject of her daughter's upbringing,
-seemed always inflexibly sure of her own aims, surprised Damier, and its
-chiming with his own recent thoughts disturbed him. After all, was,
-perhaps, Claire's gray life an explanation, in one sense, of her ugly
-clutch at any brightness? Yet the serenity, the sweet, if laborious,
-dignity of the place her mother had made for her in life, hardly allowed
-the mitigating supposition. Claire's life was really neither gray nor
-dreary. He paused, however, for a long time before saying: "From her
-point of view it probably is."
-
-"I should have liked to give her a larger life, a life of more
-opportunity, more gaiety. I feel the narrowness of her path as keenly as
-she does. Not that Claire complains."
-
-"You have given her your best. How could she complain?" Damier was not
-able quite to restrain the resentment he felt at the idea of Claire
-complaining.
-
-"Ah, I could not blame her if she did," said Madame Vicaud, her quiet
-eyes on her work, "for mothers personify circumstance to children; we
-are symbols, to them, of baffling, cramping fate; very often, and very
-naturally, we are fate's whipping-boys: and when one is a young and
-talented and beautiful woman whose youth is passing in giving lessons,
-in seeing people who seldom interest or amuse her, fate must often seem
-to deserve blows."
-
-Damier, in the surge of his comprehension,--of which she must be so
-ignorant and at which perhaps she yet guessed,--longed to throw himself
-at her knees: her pity for Claire equaled, surpassed his own; and he
-had--not blaming her for it, thinking it, indeed, the penalty of her
-superiority--thought her unconscious of Claire's pathos.
-
-"You deepen your shadows too much," he said; "for a daughter more like
-yourself your life would not be a narrow one." He paused, for, though
-she did not lift her eyes, a faint flush passed over Madame Vicaud's
-face.
-
-"I see all your efforts to widen it," he went on, hurrying away from
-what he felt to have been an unfortunate comparison, "the flowers you
-strew: intellectual, artistic interests, friends that you hope she may
-find congenial, your delightful teas."
-
-"Oh--our teas!" Madame Vicaud interrupted, smiling with a rather
-satirical playfulness. "No; our delightful and 'cultured' little teas
-can hardly atone to Claire. She should have the gaiety, the variety, the
-colored experience that I had in my youth. I can well imagine that to
-Claire's palate the nourishment I offer her is rather tasteless. She
-needs excitement, admiration, appreciation, an outlet for her energy,
-her intelligence."
-
-Damier seized the opportunity--it was, he thought, very
-propitious--again to ask her when he might bring some of his friends in
-Paris to see her, suggesting that so Claire's social diet might be
-pleasantly diversified. Madame Vicaud had more than once
-evaded--gracefully, kindly, and decisively--all question of renewing
-broken ties with her country-people, or making new ones, and now, again,
-she slightly flushed, as though for a moment finding him tactless and
-inopportune; but only for a moment: when she lifted her eyes to him, it
-was with all their quiet confidence of gaze.
-
-"I hardly know that that would be for Claire's happiness or good. One
-must have the means of widening one's environment if it is to be with
-comfort to one's self. Our means are too limited to be diffused over a
-larger area. You must not forget, my friend, that we are very poor. I do
-not like accepting where I can offer nothing."
-
-"That is a false though a charming delicacy," said Damier. "You give
-yourself; and I hope you won't refuse to now, for I have almost promised
-you to Lady Surfex; she is very anxious to meet you."
-
-Madame Vicaud was silent for some moments, her eyes downcast to the work
-where she put firm, rapid stitches; then, in a voice that had suddenly
-grown icy, "Her mother did not recognize me one day, years ago, when she
-met me walking with my husband," she said.
-
-It was now Damier's turn to flush. He nerved himself, after a moment, to
-say:
-
-"But this is not the mother."
-
-"No; and my husband is dead: otherwise the wish to meet me would not
-overcome that disability."
-
-"You are a little unjust, my dearest friend," said the young man.
-
-"I know the world," she replied; but she raised her eyes in saying it,
-and looked at him with a sad kindness that separated him from the world
-she knew. "I don't judge it--only see it as it is. It seeks happiness,
-it avoids unhappiness. To be unfortunate is to be lost, in its eyes--to
-sink from sight. To be fortunate is to have a radiance around one; and
-the world seeks radiance."
-
-After looking at him she again bent her eyes, and still sewed on while
-she spoke. "When I needed it, it abandoned me. When I was in the dark,
-it did not look for me. I strayed--through stubborn folly, perhaps;
-perhaps, too, through generous ignorance--into a quicksand, and not a
-hand was held out to me. I was allowed to sink; I was declassee, I am
-declassee, in the eyes of all of those who were of my world." The cold
-flame of a long resentment burned in her steady voice. "I have tested
-average human nature," she resumed, after a slight pause, in which he
-saw her breast heave slowly. "It is a severe test, I own; but, after it,
-it is with difficulty that I can trust again. I have no wish to know
-people who, if I were in dire straits, would pass over on the other side
-of the way. The few friends I have I have proved--the comtesse, Madame
-Depressier, Lady Vibert, Monsieur Daunay,--who had much to bear from my
-husband,--Sophie; there are a few more, very few; and then, you, my
-friend."
-
-She stopped sewing--the rapid movements of her hand had been almost
-automatic--and looked at him, her work falling to her knee. "Come here,"
-she said, holding out her hand to him, "come here. Have I seemed harsh
-to you?" Her sudden smile dwelt on him with a divine sweetness. "I am
-harsh--but not to you."
-
-Damier, with an eagerness almost pathetically boyish, had sprung to her
-side, and she took his hand, smiling up at him. "Not to you. You have
-enlarged my trust--need I say how much? Don't ask me to alloy it with
-dubious admixtures."
-
-His love for her was yet so founded on a sort of sacred fear that at
-this moment of delicious happiness he did not dare to stoop and confess
-all with a lover's kiss upon her hair, did not even dare to look a
-confession of more than a responsive affection.
-
-She pressed his hand, still smiling at him, and then, resuming her
-sewing, "Sit near me," she said, "so I can see that you are not fancying
-that I am harsh with you!"
-
-At such moments he could see in her eyes, that caressed one, made
-sweetest amends to one, touches of what must once have been enchanting
-roguishness.
-
-"But I am still going to risk your harshness," he said; "I am still
-going to ask you to let your trust in me include my friend. She would
-stand tests. Won't you take my word for it?"
-
-"I believe that I would take your word for anything."
-
-"And," said Damier, looking his thanks, "all you say is true. I don't
-want to justify man's ways to man; and yet ordinary human nature, with
-its almost inevitable self-regarding instinct, its climb toward
-happiness, its ugly struggle for successful attainment of it, is more
-forgetful than cruel toward unhappiness. One must be patient with it;
-one must remember that only the exceptional natures can rise above that
-primitive instinct. To take the other road is to embrace the sacrifice
-of all the second-rate joys--the only real joys to the average human
-being. One must either yield to the instinct or fight it, and most
-people are too lazy, too skeptical of other than apparent good, to do
-that. And then you must remember--I must, for how often I have struggled
-with these thoughts!--that misfortune is a mask, a disguise. One can't
-be recognized and known when one wears it; one can't show one's self; if
-one could there would perhaps be responses. People are base--most of
-them are base, perhaps; but sometimes they are only blind or stupid."
-
-"I sometimes think that I am all three," said Madame Vicaud, after a
-little pause. "Misfortune's distorting mask has become in me an
-actuality. I am perhaps blinded; certainly, as I told you, warped and
-hardened. I used not to be so; it was, I suppose, latent in me: I could
-not bear the fiery ordeal; the good shriveled and the dross remained."
-
-She spoke with a full gravity, no hint of plaintive self-pity, no appeal
-for contradiction, in her voice; yet, on raising her saddened eyes, she
-had to smile when she met his look.
-
-"I see," she said, "that you are determined to take me at your own
-valuation, not at mine."
-
-She turned the talk after that; she could seldom be led to talk of
-herself, and not until dinner was over, not until, after it, he had read
-to her for an hour, did she return to its subject. Then it was when he
-rose to go that, giving him her hand in farewell, she said:
-
-"Bring your friend; I shall be glad to see her."
-
-
-
-
-XII
-
-
-IT was as a result of this new friendship, which rapidly
-spread into half a dozen, that Damier, who seemed to himself to be
-walking among echoes of the past and whispered prophecies of the future,
-received yet another hint, another faint yet significant revelation, of
-Madame Vicaud's attitude toward her daughter.
-
-In the more or less fluctuating social world of English Paris, the
-beautiful and distinguished mother and her beautiful and effective
-daughter struck a novel and quite resounding note,--too resounding for
-Madame Vicaud's taste, Damier at once felt,--a note well sustained by a
-harmony so decisive as Lady Surfex, Mrs. Wallingham (another new
-friend), and Damier himself. That Madame Vicaud disliked feeling
-herself a note sustained by any harmony, Damier guessed. That she
-mastered the dislike for his sake, he knew. He knew that she would do a
-great deal for his sake--a great deal for Lady Surfex, too. She and Lady
-Surfex liked each other absolutely. But it was through Lady Surfex, and
-her secret alliance with Damier, that the problem of Claire, instead of
-being unraveled, was the more deeply involved. Claire evidently enjoyed
-this new phase of life. She had now quite frequent opportunities for
-displaying her gowns and her voice and her dancing at receptions and
-balls. Yet, already, among her new entourage, she had shown her affinity
-with its less desirable members. A rich, fashionable, and rather tawdry
-Englishwoman took a great fancy to her; and Mrs. Jefferies was the
-sister of a fashionable and tawdry brother, Lord Epsil, who at once
-manifested a decided interest in the red-haired beauty, pronounced her
-to be like Sodoma's Judith, and made her mother's withdrawal of her
-from his company the more noticeable by his persistent seeking of hers.
-
-"It is really too bad," Lady Surfex said to Damier. "She flirts
-outrageously with the man--if one can call that indolent tolerance
-flirting. I hope that she realizes that he is a bad lot. From a purely
-worldly point of view he can be of no advantage to her. He is married
-and has not a nice reputation."
-
-"She may not realize it, she may be indifferent to it; but her mother
-realizes and is not indifferent."
-
-"And we wanted to spare her such watchfulness!" sighed Lady Surfex.
-
-"It seems that we can spare her nothing," Damier replied. At the same
-time he felt that Claire could be accused of nothing worse than too
-great a tolerance. Once or twice she spoke to him of Lord Epsil with
-half-mocking insight. "He is not like you," she said; "the difference
-amuses me." Claire's intelligence was, after all, her best safeguard in
-all that did not touch matters of delicate taste, and Damier's only way
-of helping her mother was to watch with her--to constitute himself a
-sort of elder brother in his attitude toward Claire, and to try, by
-being much with Claire himself, to make Lord Epsil's wish to be with her
-less able to manifest itself.
-
-The faint yet significant hint of what Madame Vicaud's real feelings
-toward her daughter were came to him one evening at a dance, when she
-sat beside Lady Surfex, more beautiful, with her white face, her thick
-gray hair, in the dignity of her black dress, than any other woman
-there. He then saw on her face, as, fanning herself slowly, her head a
-little bent, she watched Claire dance, a concentration of the somberness
-it sometimes showed. It was a moment only of unconscious revelation; in
-another she had turned, with her quiet and facile gaiety, to a laughing
-comment of her companion's. But Damier, following that momentary
-brooding look, saw in a flash its interpretation on the daughter's face.
-Claire was dancing, exquisitely dressed, calm, competent, complacent,
-as noticeable and as graceful a figure as any in the room. And yet--he
-had felt it from the first, but never so clearly, so tragically, as
-through that somber maternal gaze--Claire was ill-bred. It was that her
-mother should see her so that made the revelation.
-
-The somberness was not a fear of what others thought; she was, he knew,
-almost arrogantly indifferent to what people thought: it was what she
-herself thought that had gloomed her brow. And that she should see,
-should recognize, that affection should not mercifully have blinded her,
-filled Damier with a sort of consternation. Again all the ugly visions
-of Claire crossed his mind, and now, indeed, the mother stood transfixed
-beside them, for she, too, saw such visions. Ill-bred was a trivial,
-mitigating word.
-
-He realized that this very quality--call it what one would--in Claire
-was the cause of her effectiveness, the reason, too, that his hopes for
-her would probably remain unfulfilled.
-
-She was a woman upon whom, when she entered a room, all men's eyes
-turned. Her beauty was like the deep, half-triumphant, half-ominous note
-of brazen instruments. But she was not a woman that men of Madame
-Vicaud's world, of Lady Surfex's world, would care to marry. Had she
-been an heiress,--and she was of the type that one associates with
-unfragrant and recent wealth,--had it not been for her poverty, her
-essential obscurity, she would no doubt have been enrolled among the
-powerful young women who are watched with admiring envy as they advance
-toward a luminous match. Claire had quite the manner of placid advance,
-quite the manner (and how detestable to her mother the manner must be!)
-of a young woman bent upon "getting on." But though her indolent
-self-assurance made people give way before her, made her talked of and
-something of a personage, she was, as a result of her launching, far
-more likely to become notorious than eminent. Any success of Claire's
-must, like herself, be ill-bred, tainted.
-
-That Claire felt this, he doubted, or even that, if felt, she would
-mind; but that Madame Vicaud felt it he now agonized in knowing. And she
-had asked for her daughter neither eminence nor a luminous match; she
-had, he now saw, been glad to shield her with obscurity. That she might
-become notorious, fulfil herself completely in so becoming, would be the
-bitterest drop in her cup that fate could reserve for her.
-
-If she dreaded it, she kept, at all events, a stoic's calm above the
-dread. And her restrictions, delicate, subtle, unemphasized, were about
-Claire on every side; her unobtrusive watchfulness was constantly upon
-her. With a cheerful firmness she held Claire to her duty of earning, as
-Claire had said, "the butter for her bread," and thwarted, without
-seeming to thwart, many of her social opportunities. Damier saw, though
-only faintly, under the surface of appearance her dexterity kept smooth,
-the constant drama of the conflict, a conflict that never became open or
-avowed. He saw that Madame Vicaud's cleverness was so great that even
-Claire hardly knew that there was a conflict; but after what he had seen
-in the mother's eyes on the night of the dance, he understood, at least,
-for what she was fighting.
-
-Damier still felt the subtle change in his relations with Claire and
-Madame Vicaud, and he had by this time adapted himself to it--adapted
-himself to seeing Claire more constantly, seeing Madame Vicaud more
-rarely alone, encouraged as he was in this sacrifice by the strong
-impression that in so doing he was pleasing her, and was emphasizing
-that silent, yet growing, nearness and intimacy.
-
-The silence was part of her extreme delicacy, and of her fineness of
-perception; it showed that his brotherly attitude toward Claire was what
-she had hoped for, and it was almost maternal in its sweetness of
-recognition to him, its loyalty of speechlessness toward the other
-child, the child that--he knew it so clearly now--could only give her
-profoundest pain; such a silence would a mother keep with the child that
-gave her happiness.
-
-He had never more strongly felt this queer medley of influences than on
-one warm summer evening when he and Madame Vicaud sat outside the salon
-on the high balcony that overlooked the garden. They had dined,--he and
-Monsieur Daunay, and Claire and her mother,--and now Claire and Monsieur
-Daunay had established themselves at the piano in the distant end of the
-salon, the pale radiance of two candles enveloping them and deepening
-the half-gloom in the room's wide spaces.
-
-Outside the twilight lingered, though beneath them the June foliage made
-mysteries of gloom; the warm breathing of the summer ascended in
-fragrance from still branches; the faint stars above shone in a pale
-sky.
-
-They were both very silent, Damier looking at her, and she with eyes
-musingly downcast to the trees. Her face, he thought, showed a
-peculiarly deep contentment; more than that, perhaps: for he still felt
-the whisper of a mystery; still felt, in all the peace between them, a
-hint of perplexity; still divined that, though she was tranquil, her
-tranquillity had been wrested from some struggle,--a struggle that she
-had hidden from him,--as though she had yielded something with pain,
-even though, now, she was satisfied. Patience as much as tranquillity
-was upon her lips and brow; and yet he knew that, insensibly, she had
-come to lean upon the new strength he brought into her life; that she
-depended upon him, though she confided so little; that soon, very soon,
-her eyes must answer the unspoken question in his, and solve, in the
-answer, all mysteries. Indeed, he said to himself that, Claire's
-harassing problem all unsolved, he could not wait much longer; he must
-know just where he stood with her, and tell her where he wished to
-stand. Now, as they sat there, listening to Claire's richly emotional
-voice,--a voice that expressed so much more than it felt,--it was
-Claire's voice, just as it was the thought of Claire, that disturbed the
-peace, jarred upon the aspiration of his thoughts. Its beauty seemed to
-embroider the chaste and dreaming stillness with an arabesque of
-opulent curves and flaunting tendrils. Our imaginative young man could
-almost see a whiteness invaded by urgent waves of purple and rose and
-gold. He stirred, shifted his position involuntarily and
-uneasily--wished Claire would stop singing; her voice curiously
-irritated him.
-
-Madame Vicaud sat with her back to the open window, and Damier, beside
-her, could not see into the room without turning his head. He did
-happen, however, to turn his head during a humming pause. Monsieur
-Daunay's hands were still held on the last chord, while, as Damier
-thought, he demonstrated to Claire some improvement in her rendering of
-the note that had just soared above it. But as he turned lazily to
-glance at them, Damier saw a strange, an unexpected thing, a thing
-poignantly disagreeable to him. Monsieur Daunay's face, vividly
-illuminated, was upturned to Claire's; he was speaking below his breath,
-under cover of the humming chord, and with a look of humble yet
-reproachful entreaty. Claire, a swift finger on her lips as she bent to
-the music, had a glance for the window, and Damier's eyes of
-astonishment and dismay met hers. He looked away abruptly--too abruptly
-for a successful controlling of the dismay and astonishment, for he
-found Madame Vicaud's eyes upon him, and he saw in a moment that they
-had been upon him during the swift incident--eyes filled with wonder and
-with an ignorant yet intense fear. Memories of another scene,
-hand-kissings in an arbor, flashed upon him, and he knew her thoughts.
-She met his look--as empty as he could make it--for a long moment; but
-after it she did not, also, glance into the room, where the song now
-flowed with an almost exaggerated spirit. Wrapping her arms more closely
-in her light shawl, she sat quite silent, the effort to control, to
-master the crowding of her surmises apparent in her rigidly still
-profile. Damier guessed that the surmises must, inevitably, suspect
-Claire, not Monsieur Daunay. In justice to Claire, after the
-involuntary silence of his dismay, he could not longer be silent. After
-all, and he drew a long breath in realizing it, Claire's past shadowed
-perhaps too deeply her present; after all, the fact was not so alarming.
-
-"Have you never suspected," he said, "that Monsieur Daunay cares for
-Claire?"
-
-She did not reply; turning a wan face upon him, her eyes still averted,
-she shook her head in a helpless negation of all such knowledge.
-
-"Don't be distressed," said Damier, terribly afraid that he too much
-showed his own distress; "it is unfortunate for him, and wrong of him to
-keep such feeling from you; I happened just now to see its revelation in
-his face as he looked at Claire."
-
-Madame Vicaud, for another moment, said nothing, struggling, he knew,
-with those awakened memories--or were they not always awake, clutching
-at her?
-
-"He may care for Claire," she then said faintly, "but she cannot care
-for him; that--you know--is impossible."
-
-"Only enough, I am sure, to wish to shield him."
-
-"I could never have suspected. He is an old friend, a trusted friend. I
-must speak to him."
-
-"Let me speak to him--may I? I will walk home with him to-night."
-
-A certain relief in Madame Vicaud was taking a long, deep breath, and
-nothing could more clearly have assured him of the position he held in
-her eyes than the half-hesitating yet half-assenting consideration she
-gave to his rather odd proposal.
-
-"But," she said, "will he not wonder--by what right--"
-
-"I speak? By the right of my fondness for you."
-
-"And for Claire, yes," said Madame Vicaud, thoughtfully.
-
-Damier had not at all intended to imply this amendment, especially at a
-moment when he was so sure of not being at all fond of Claire; yet the
-trust of her inclusion was so unconscious of possible contradiction that
-he could not trouble it.
-
-"But what will you say?" she went on. "Any reproach should come from me;
-and what reproach could you make? I cannot think he is more than
-piteous; people fall in love with Claire--often."
-
-Damier was feeling that if, by chance, Monsieur Daunay were more than
-piteous, he must stand between Madame Vicaud and the discovery.
-
-"I will be all discretion--all delicacy. I will only say that I was the
-unsuspecting, the involuntary witness of the incident; and that, as your
-friend, almost, I might say,"--he hesitated, seeking a forcible word in
-place of the one he dared not use,--"your son, I must ask him how much
-Claire knows of it--how far it should interfere with your confidence in
-him."
-
-She was silent for a long moment, her head still turned from him to a
-silhouetted profile against the sky; it was now so much darker that he
-could see little more than its vague black and white, yet he thought
-that, in her stillness, she flushed deeply. In her voice, when she
-spoke, there was the steadiness that nerves itself over a tremor, yet
-there was, too, a greater relief. "Well," she said. The word assented to
-all he asked. She did not look at him again, and presently, as the music
-had ceased, rose and went into the room. Claire was pointing out to
-Monsieur Daunay a picture in a magazine, apparently all placidity; but
-in a moment near the parting, while Madame Vicaud, with an equal calm,
-stood speaking to Monsieur Daunay near the piano, Claire said to Damier,
-quietly but intently:
-
-"You have not betrayed me to Mamma?"
-
-"Betrayed you?" Damier questioned, ice in his voice.
-
-"Him, rather," she amended. "Not that there is anything to betray, only
-Mamma would find it so shocking that a married man should be in love
-with me; he is so _bete_--Monsieur Daunay--to have forgotten that you
-were out there."
-
-"I must tell you that your mother guessed that I had seen something. I
-told her what I had seen, that he loved you, though not that you seemed
-to accept his love."
-
-For a moment she gazed into his eyes, at first with a gravity that
-studied him, and then with a light effrontery. "Accept it! _par
-exemple!_" she exclaimed, and she put her hand on his arm with a
-half-caressing reassurance. "Set your mind at rest! I am only sorry for
-him. Meet me to-morrow morning at ten at the Porte Dauphine; we can have
-a little walk in the Bois. I want to tell you all about it."
-
-Monsieur Daunay was going, and Damier, as he turned from Claire, met
-Madame Vicaud's eyes. Their wide, dark gaze was, for the instant in
-which she let him see it, piteous and almost wild. He interpreted their
-fear, though he could not quite define their question. All the mother
-was in them. Did he despise her child, as others did? He mustered his
-bravest, most gravely confident smile, in answer to them, as he pressed
-her hand in parting. For another instant they met his, saw his smile,
-and answered it with a look tragically grateful in one so proud. He had
-never stood so near her as at that moment.
-
-Damier went out with the Frenchman, and once in the cool, dim street, he
-dashed at the subject: "Monsieur Daunay, I must at once tell you that
-inadvertently this evening, through your own indiscretion, I discovered
-your secret. You are a married man; you are Madame Vicaud's trusted
-friend; and you love her daughter."
-
-Monsieur Daunay stopped short in the street, exasperation rather than
-embarrassment in his face. He fixed Damier with very steady and very
-hostile eyes.
-
-"And what then?" he asked.
-
-"You have a perfect right," said Damier, "to ask what business it is of
-mine, and I can only answer that I, too, am a trusted friend of Madame
-Vicaud's, and, Monsieur Daunay, a friend whom she can trust."
-
-"Ah, Monsieur Damier, you have--I do not deny it--more rights than I,
-who have none," said Daunay, in a voice the bitterness of which was a
-revelation to Damier. "I have no rights, only misfortunes. Why not add
-that you are Madame Vicaud's trusted friend, and that you, too, love her
-daughter?"
-
-Damier felt a relief disproportionate, he realized, to any suspicions he
-had allowed himself to recognize. The atmosphere, after the unexpected
-thunderclap, was immensely cleared. Monsieur Daunay was jealous, and
-Monsieur Daunay was evidently piteous only. With all the vigor of a
-sudden release from bondage, he exclaimed: "You are utterly mistaken; I
-have no such rights: I do not love Mademoiselle Vicaud."
-
-"What do you say?" Monsieur Daunay's astonishment was almost blank.
-
-"I do not love her in the very least."
-
-"Then," stammered the Frenchman, "we are not rivals? You can then pity
-me--I am jealous with none of the rights of jealousy."
-
-"None of the rights?" Damier eyed him.
-
-"None, monsieur; Madame Vicaud's trust in me is not unfounded," said
-Monsieur Daunay, with something of a slightly ludicrous grandiloquence.
-
-"Yet Mademoiselle Vicaud knows of your attachment."
-
-"I never declared it; she guessed it, perhaps inevitably." They were
-walking on again, and he shrugged his shoulders. "_Que voulez-vous?_ She
-has a certain tenderness for me that gives perception, and I adore
-her--but adore her, you understand." Damier was understanding and not at
-all disliking this victim of the glamour--or, was it not deeper than
-that? Something in the Frenchman's voice touched him. Would Claire ever
-arouse a deeper affection than this? Not only had she cast her glamour
-upon him: he evidently loved her--"but adore her, you understand," as he
-had said in his expressive French.
-
-His hands clasped behind him, Monsieur Daunay, with now a reminiscent
-confidence, shook his head and sighed profoundly. "_Que voulez-vous?_"
-he repeated. "Since her girlhood it has been with me a hidden passion.
-_Ce que j'ai souffert!_" He showed no antagonism now, no resentment;
-Damier could but be grateful.
-
-"Claire has not suffered through me," he went on. "She allows me to love
-her, but she knows that she is free. What can I claim?--an honorable
-man, and shackled. Yet--I have always hoped that she might, generously
-and nobly, keep an unclaimed faith with me. I have claimed none, and yet
-she has assured me that, as yet, she loves no other. I have needed the
-assurance of late--I confess it. Your apparent courtship I could not
-reproach her with,--though it tore my heart,--but her permission of this
-ill-omened Lord Epsil's attentions filled me with consternation; I have
-felt myself justified in reproaching her for her _legerete_ in regard to
-this."
-
-"But," said Damier, after a slight pause, "this unclaimed faith--how do
-you expect her to keep it?"
-
-There was a touch of embarrassment in Monsieur Daunay's voice as he
-answered: "My wife and I have, for years, been on most unfortunate
-terms; I have no reproaches to address myself on her account. She is a
-confirmed invalid, and of late her condition has been critical. One must
-not hope for certain contingencies--one must not, indeed, admit the
-thought of them too often; but--if they did arise--"
-
-"I see," said Damier, gravely; "you could claim her. It is, indeed, a
-most unpleasant contingency. Would it not be for Claire's happiness if
-you were not to see her again until it arose?"
-
-"Ah, no," said Daunay, with something of weariness; "ah, no; her
-happiness is not involved. Claire--I speak frankly; my affection for her
-has never blinded me--Claire is not easily made unhappy by her
-sympathies. It is only myself I hurt by remaining near her, by seeing
-her, as I constantly imagine, on the point of abandoning me. But to
-leave her--you ask of me more than I am capable of doing."
-
-Later, when Damier told him of Madame Vicaud's knowledge of the
-situation, Monsieur Daunay heaved another, not regretful, sigh.
-
-"It is as well. I will say to her what I have said to you. She will be
-generous; she will understand."
-
-Damier felt oddly, when he parted with him, that he might trust Monsieur
-Daunay, but that he trusted Claire less than ever.
-
-
-
-
-XIII
-
-
-NEXT day, as Damier waited near the Porte Dauphine for
-Claire, he could reflect on his really parental situation, but feeling
-more the irritation than the humor of it. After all, where was his
-authority for this meddling? Why should they submit to it? and why, as a
-result, should he submit to the hearing of Claire's coming
-self-justification? He could spare Madame Vicaud nothing by it, since
-she knew all that there was to know--and since it was better that she
-should know it. He had written to her the night before, on reaching his
-hotel, and told her of the talk with Monsieur Daunay and of the
-impression it had made upon him. He wondered if she had, meanwhile, had
-an equally appeasing talk with Claire.
-
-This young woman appeared quite punctually, walking at a leisurely pace
-along the sanded path, where the full summer foliage cast flickering
-purple shadows. Claire was all in white, white that fluttered about her
-as she walked; her hat, tilted over her eyes, had white wings--like a
-Valkyrie's summer helmet; her white parasol made a shadowed halo behind
-her head. As she approached him she looked at him steadily, with
-something whimsical, quizzical in her gaze, and her first words showed
-no wish to beat about the bush.
-
-"You talked to him last night? I talked a little to Mamma, or rather she
-talked to me. I soon satisfied her that I didn't feel for him, _pas
-grand comme ca d'amour_." Claire indicated the smallness she negatived
-by a quarter of an inch of finger-tip. "And I think I can soon satisfy
-you, too," she added. "He told you everything?"
-
-"Everything."
-
-"And you are terribly shocked that an unmarried young woman should take
-money from a married man who is in love with her? Must I assure you
-that our relations are absolutely innocent?"
-
-In his stupefaction, Damier could hardly have said whether her first
-statement or the coolness of her second remark--its forestalling of a
-suspicion she took for granted in him--were the more striking. Both
-statement and remark revealed her character in a light more lurid than
-even he had been prepared for. He was really unable to do more than
-stare at her. Claire evidently misinterpreted the stare yet more
-outrageously. She had the grace to flush faintly, though her eyes were
-still half ironic, half defiant.
-
-"I do so assure you."
-
-"I did not need the assurance." Damier found his voice, but it was
-hoarse.
-
-Claire, in a little pause, looked her consciousness of having struck a
-very false note.
-
-"And now no assurance would convince you that I am not very low-minded
-and vulgar. Well, I am, I suppose. _Que voulez-vous?_ Only don't be too
-much shocked by my frankness; don't be prudish. A man may be propriety
-itself, but he may not be prudish. Remember that I am twenty-seven, that
-I know my world (though how I have been able to get my knowledge with
-such a dexterously shuffling and shielding Mamma, I don't know), and
-that I think it merely silly to pretend that I don't know it before a
-man with whom I am as intimate as I am with you. Of course, on the face
-of it, to accept money from a married man who is in love with one does
-suggest a situation usually described as immoral."
-
-Damier was feeling choked, feeling, too, that he almost hated Claire, as
-she walked beside him, slowly and lightly, opulently lovely, the flush
-of anger--it was more anger than shame--still on her cheek.
-
-"I must tell you," he said, in a voice steeled to a terrible courtesy,
-"that it is you alone who inform me of your indebtedness to Monsieur
-Daunay's kindness. He, I now see, did not tell me everything."
-
-"What did he tell you, then?" she asked, stopping short in the path and
-fixing her eyes upon him, in her voice a rough, almost a plebeian,
-note.
-
-"That he adored you, and that he could be trusted."
-
-"Well, he can be!" She broke into a hard laugh. "_Le cher bon Daunay!_ I
-thought that of course he would paint a piteous picture of his woes. And
-now you are furious with me because I supposed that, as a man of the
-world, you might unfairly, yet naturally, imagine more than he told
-you."
-
-Damier made no reply.
-
-"You are furious, are you not?"
-
-"I am disgusted, but not for that reason only."
-
-"You think I am in love with him!" She stopped again in the narrow path.
-"I swear to you that I am not!" He would have interrupted her, but her
-volubility swept past his attempt. "If he had been free I would have
-married him--I own it; at one time, at least, I would have married him.
-I am French in my freedom from sentimental complications on that
-subject. I could have found no other man in this country willing to
-marry a dotless girl. I should have preferred, of course, a _mariage
-d'amour_; but, given my circumstances, could I have found anything more
-desirable than a kind, generous, and adoring friend like Monsieur
-Daunay?"
-
-"I should say certainly not,"--Damier waited with a cold patience until
-she had finished,--"but again you have misinterpreted me; I am disgusted
-not because you love Monsieur Daunay, but because you do not love him."
-
-At this, after a stare, Claire gave a loud laugh.
-
-"Ah!--_c'est trop fort!_ You can't make me believe that you want me to
-love him."
-
-"I don't want you to love him; but I say that the circumstances would be
-more to your credit if you did."
-
-Her face now showed a mingled relief and perplexity.
-
-"Ah, it is the money, then--that I should accept it!"
-
-"Can I make no appeal to you for your mother's sake--for the sake of
-your own dignity?"
-
-"I can take care of my own dignity, Mr. Damier." The relief was showing
-in her quieter voice, her fading flush. "I see how angry you are--and
-only because I have not pretended with you. Let me explain. I never
-pretend with you: I can only explain. I must begin at the beginning to
-do it; and the beginning and the end is our poverty. Mamma had a
-pittance left to her, a year or so after my father's death, by some
-relations, and that, since then, has been our only _pied-a-terre_. She
-would never accept the allowance, quite a generous one, too, that her
-family wished to make her. I don't want to blame her; I know how you
-feel about her; I appreciate it. But it was, I must say it, very selfish
-of her; she should have thought more of me--the luckless result of her
-mesalliance--and less of her own pride. I really hardly know how she
-brought me up: though, I own, she gave me a good education; I was always
-at school during my father's life--she avoided _that_ soil for me, you
-may be sure! I give her credit for all that; she must have worked hard
-to do it. But she owed me all she could get for me, and, I must say, she
-did not pay the debt." Claire had been looking before her as she talked,
-but now she looked at Damier, and something implacable, coldly enduring,
-in his eye warned her that her present line of exculpation was not
-serving her. "Don't imagine, now, that I am complaining--ungrateful,"
-she said a little petulantly. "I know--as well as you do--what a good
-mother she has been to me. I only want to show you that she is not
-altogether blameless--that she is responsible, in more ways than one,
-for me--for what I am. Let it pass, though. When I came home, a young
-girl, full of life and eager for enjoyment, what did I find? Poverty,
-labor, obscurity. It was an ugly, a meager existence she had prepared
-for me, and, absolutely, with a certain pride in it! She expected me to
-enjoy work, shabby clothes, grave pursuits, as much as she did, or, at
-all events, not to mind them. Plain living, high thinking--that was her
-idea of happiness for me!" Insensibly the ironic note had grown again in
-her voice. "I remember, too, at first, her taking me to see poor people
-in horrid places--expecting me to talk to them, sing to them; I soon put
-a stop to that. At her age, with a ruined life, it is natural that one
-should wish to devote one's self to _bonnes-oeuvres;_ but for me, _ah,
-par exemple!_" Claire gave a coarse laugh. "I had not quite come to
-that! She gave me the best she had--all she had, you will say; I own it:
-but not all she might have had. And then she need not have expected me
-to enjoy--should not have been aggrieved, wounded, because I only
-endured. Again,--I am not unjust,--it was not all high thinking; she had
-her schemes for my amusement--_d'une simplicite!_ Really, for such a
-clever woman, Mamma can be dull! And the people we knew! We had a
-right--you know it--to _le vrai grand monde_. You know it, and you are
-trying, now, to help me to it. But Mamma did not try. With a little
-management she might have regained her place in it; but no--her pride
-again! She seemed to think that _she_ was _le grand monde_, and that I
-ought to be satisfied with that! And now, with all this, you think it
-strange--_disgusting_--that when I saw that Daunay--_le pauvre!_--was in
-love with me I should ask him to continue to the daughter the aid that
-he had extended to the father! There again, for a clever woman, Mamma is
-dull--though her dullness has been to my advantage. She can make money,
-she can avoid spending it, but she has little conception of its value;
-she does the housekeeping, and, after that, she leaves the management of
-our resources to me. She is funnily gullible about the price of my
-clothes; the lessons I give would hardly keep me in shoes and
-stockings--as I understand shoes and stockings!" Claire laughed. "This
-dress that I have on--Mamma imagines it is made by a little dressmaker
-whom I am clever enough to guide with my taste. I take out the name on
-the waist-band and she is none the wiser. This dress is a Doucet." There
-was now quite a blithe complacency in Claire's voice. "And I have always
-considered myself amply excusable," she went on, "in accepting the small
-pleasures that life offered me. Of course it has really not been much
-that I have been able to accept--though he would willingly--and he is
-not rich--give more. Jewels, for instance, I have never dared
-attempt--nor even many dresses; that would have been incautious. For
-Mamma, of course, must never know; she would be inexpressibly shocked. I
-can see her face!"
-
-So could Damier. He was conscious of almost a wish to be brutal to
-Claire, physically brutal--to strike her to the dust where she dragged
-the image of his well beloved; but, after a moment, he said in a voice
-quiet enough: "You must tell her now; you must tell her everything."
-
-Claire stopped short in the path. "Tell her!"
-
-"You must, indeed." The full rigor of his eyes met the astonishment of
-hers.
-
-"Never!" said Claire, and in French, as if for a more personal and
-intimate emphasis, she repeated: "_Jamais!_"
-
-"I will, then; it is an outrage not to tell her."
-
-Their eyes measured each other's resolution.
-
-"If you do," said Claire, "shall I tell you with what I retaliate? I
-will run away with Monsieur Daunay. Yes; I speak seriously. I would
-prefer not to be pushed to that extremity, but I sometimes think that I
-am getting a little tired of respectability _au quatrieme_. It isn't
-good enough, as you English say; I get no interest on my investment. To
-tell her! Now, of all times, when I so need the money, when the small
-gaieties and pleasures you have brought into my life depend on my having
-it, making an appearance! She would not let me take it. She would be
-glacial--and firm. Oh, I have had scenes with her! I could not stand any
-more."
-
-For once Claire was fully vehement, her cheeks flaming, her eyes at once
-threatening and appealing. He could hardly believe her serious, and yet
-she silenced him--indeed, she terrified him. Claire read the terror in
-his wide eyes and whitening lips. Her look suddenly grew soft, humorous.
-She slipped her hand inside his arm.
-
-Involuntarily he started from her, then, repenting, for even while he so
-loathed her he had never found her so piteous, "I beg your pardon--but
-you horrify me too much."
-
-"Come, come," she said, and, unresentfully, though with some
-determination, she secured his arm, "don't take me _au pied de la
-lettre_. I am not really in earnest; you know that; I had to use a
-threat--had to frighten you. Come." That she had been able so thoroughly
-to frighten him seemed to have restored in her her old air of
-complacent mastery. "You are wide-minded, clever, kind. Don't misjudge
-me. Don't push me to the wall. Don't apply impossible standards to me.
-See me as I am. By nature, by temperament, I am simply a bohemian. It
-isn't my fault if my mother happens to be a saint, and a horribly
-well-bred saint; it really isn't my fault if she has handed on to me
-neither of those qualities. I am perfectly frank with you. From the
-first I felt that I could be frank with you; I felt that you understood
-me; don't tell me now that I was mistaken."
-
-"I do understand you," said Damier, "but you horrify me none the less."
-
-"I horrify you because I am a creature thwarted, distorted; nothing is
-more ugly or repulsive--but if I had had a chance!"
-
-"What would a chance have done for you? You have had every chance to be
-noble and loving and happy--yes, happy."
-
-"But not in my own way!--not in my own way!" she cried, and now she
-clasped both hands on his arm and leaned against his shoulder as she
-looked into his face. "I needed power and wealth--all the real
-foundations of happiness and nobility. Then--ah, then I should have
-blossomed. Or else, failing them, I needed liberty and joy--the life of
-a bohemian. I have had neither the one nor the other, and if I seem
-almost wicked to you it is because of that; for, to me, wickedness means
-going against one's nature. I have always been forced to go against
-mine; I have never had a chance."
-
-Damier gave a mirthless laugh. "On the contrary, to me wickedness means
-going with one's nature."
-
-"Ah, there we differ; and yet we understand."
-
-Again he had that feeling of perplexity and irritation. Her eyes, the
-clasp of her hands upon his arm, irked and troubled him, and without,
-now, any sense of glamour in the trouble and irritation. She seemed to
-make too great a claim upon his understanding, and to rely too much
-upon some conviction of her own charm that could dare any frankness just
-because it was so sure of triumph. He felt that at the moment he did not
-understand her; he felt, too, that he did not want to--that he was tired
-of understanding her.
-
-"You are an unhappy creature, Claire," he said. They were nearing the
-Porte Dauphine, and while he spoke with a full yet distant gravity,
-Damier looked about for a fiacre. "An unhappy creature with an
-unawakened soul."
-
-"Will you try to wake it, the poor thing?" asked Claire. She still held
-his arm, though he had tried to disengage it, and though she spoke
-softly, there was a vague hardness in her eyes, as though she felt the
-new hardness in him, though as yet not quite interpreting its finality.
-
-"I shouldn't know how to: I am helpless before it. It should be made to
-suffer," he said. A cab had answered his summons, and he handed her into
-it. "No, I cannot go home with you," he said. "Are you going home?"
-
-"I am going to lunch with old Mademoiselle Daunay, and see Monsieur
-Daunay there. I had no chance to speak to him last night." Claire,
-sitting straightly in the open cab, had an expression of perplexity and
-of growing resentment on her face; but as he merely bowed and was about
-to turn away, she started forward and put her hand on his shoulder.
-
-"Are you going to make it suffer?" she asked. He looked into her eyes.
-He did not understand her, but he saw in them a demand at once alluring
-and threatening. His one instinct was to deny strongly whatever she
-demanded, though he did not know what that was.
-
-"I have no mission toward your soul, Claire," he said. For another
-moment the eyes that threatened and allured dwelt on his; then, calling
-out the address to the cabman, she was driven away.
-
-
-
-
-XIV
-
-
-ON Damier's return to his hotel early in the afternoon,
-he found a note from Madame Vicaud awaiting him. "Monsieur Daunay has
-just been here," it said, "and destiny has strangely brought this matter
-to a crisis. His wife is dead, and he has asked me for Claire's hand,
-feeling that his false position toward me demanded an immediate
-reparation. He hopes and believes that she loves him; but this, as both
-you and I must know, is impossible. I am saddened and confused by the
-whole situation. I do not blame them, but to me it is all displeasing,
-even shocking--this haste to profit by the wife's opportune death most
-of all. Will you come and see me? Claire is lunching at his cousin's,
-and he will find her there. I told him to speak to her himself, as I
-felt that to act the maternal part of intermediary between them would
-now be mere formalism and affectation; so I am alone. You will want to
-speak to me, I know."
-
-Damier, as he drove to the Rue B----, speculated on the rather
-mystifying significance of the last sentence. He always wanted to speak
-to her: that she must know; but why now in particular? Since his
-interview with Claire that morning he had felt almost too shaken by pity
-for the mother to trust himself with her. He would not be able to help
-her with counsel and consolation; he would not be able to think of
-Claire; and at this turning-point in Claire's life it was for that that
-the mother needed him.
-
-He found her standing in the salon, evidently pausing to meet him, in a
-restless pacing to and fro. Her eyes dwelt on him gently and very
-gravely while she took his hand.
-
-"Who could have expected this swift denouement? But it is best," she
-said, "and I pitied him very deeply."
-
-"Pitied him--for the past, you mean?" Damier questioned.
-
-"Oh, for the future more!"
-
-Damier wondered over her eyes, over the something tremulous in her
-smile.
-
-"I saw Claire this morning," he said. "We talked over the matter; she
-wished to see me."
-
-Madame Vicaud showed no surprise at this piece of information. "Ah, yes;
-I understand," she said.
-
-"She certainly told me that she did not love him," Damier went on, "and
-yet--" He paused, not quite knowing how to put to her his hope that
-Claire now would reconsider the situation, his hope that she would marry
-Monsieur Daunay.
-
-It would be the solution of all difficulties, the best solution
-possible, and the situation could then be defined anew in terms that he
-more and more deeply longed for. He hardly dared, even yet, before her
-unconsciousness, define it, and turning away from her, he walked down
-the room, urging himself to a courage great enough to enable him now to
-speak to her what was in his heart. Madame Vicaud was watching him
-thoughtfully when he faced her again at the end of the room, and with
-still that look of controlled emotion.
-
-"I, also, have something to tell you," he said.
-
-"Yes," she assented quietly, yet with the look evidently braced,
-steeled, in preparation for what she was to hear.
-
-"Can you guess?" he asked.
-
-She was standing now, strangely, in the attitude of the little
-photograph--leaning on the back of a high chair; and her eyes recalled
-yet more strangely the intentness of the picture's eyes as she said:
-"You have come to tell me that you love my daughter?"
-
-He was so deeply astonished, so completely thrown back upon himself,
-that for a long moment he could only gaze helplessly into the eyes'
-insolubility.
-
-"No," he said at last; "I did not come to tell you that."
-
-"But you do love her?" Madame Vicaud inquired, with something of gentle
-urgency in her voice, as though she helped his shyness. "Be frank with
-me, my friend; I have guessed so much more, seen so much more, than you
-told me or showed me. Even with all that saddens you, that pains you,
-you do love her--enough to overlook the pain and sadness?"
-
-"No," said Damier, still facing her from his distance, "I do not love
-her. I have never needed to overlook anything."
-
-Plainly it was her turn to be astonished, thrown back upon herself.
-
-"But, from the beginning, has that not been your meaning?"
-
-"You, only, have been my meaning."
-
-He saw that her thought, in its disarray, could not pause upon his
-interpretation of these words. She had straightened herself, both hands
-on the chair-back, and her wide gaze, her parted lips, and the vivid
-wonder and surmise in her face made her look curiously young.
-
-"You have, from the first, been so much with her--seemed to take so much
-interest in her--seemed so to understand her; she was so open--so
-intimate--"
-
-"She is your daughter."
-
-"But that, I thought, added to the certainty: you must, I thought, love
-my daughter--"
-
-He was forced to beat a retreat for a moment of disentanglement; and,
-suddenly, disentanglement seemed to demand a cutting sincerity.
-
-"I don't, in the very least, love Claire; I have never, in the very
-least, loved her; I have only been sorry for her."
-
-"Sorry for her? Because of her dull, bleak life? Ah, have I not been
-sorry, too?"
-
-"But I not for that," said Damier, "not for that; but because she made
-me so sorry for you; because"--and he looked at her--"because you do not
-love her."
-
-He was still at a distance from her, and across it her look met his in
-a long silence.
-
-Then a strange, a tragic thing happened to her. He had before seen her
-flush faintly; but it was now a deep, an agonizing blush that slowly
-rose and darkened in her face. The revelation of look and blush was long
-before she leaned her elbows on the chair-back and covered her face with
-her hands.
-
-"Forgive me!" Damier murmured. He felt as if he had stabbed her. He came
-to her, and, half kneeling on the chair before her, he longed, but did
-not dare, to put his arms around her and sweep away this complication,
-and all the others--ah, the others?--the years and years of them that
-rolled between them!--in a full and final confession. "Forgive me for
-seeing--it is not your fault; it is my clear-sightedness--"
-
-She made no reply.
-
-"You try to understand her, but she is alien to you. She tears at every
-fiber of you. There is nothing in her that does not hurt you," Damier
-said, hastening to speak all the truth, since the moment inevitably had
-come for it.
-
-Madame Vicaud lifted her head.
-
-"I do understand her," she said. She did not look at him. Straightening
-her shoulders, drawing a long breath, she walked away from him to the
-window; there, her back to him, she added, the truth seemingly forced
-from her as it had been from him, "And I hate her."
-
-Damier remained leaning against the chair. The situation, in its
-strangeness, dazed him. But looking at her figure, dark against the
-light, he was able to say: "I even guessed that--almost."
-
-"Yet you do not hate her," she said, after a pause of some moments,
-speaking without moving or turning her head.
-
-Damier paused too. "I have not your reasons," he said at last.
-
-"Ah, my reasons! Yes." She turned to him now, as though she saw in him
-an accusing world, and faced it in an attitude of desperate
-self-justification.
-
-"They began with her father," said Damier.
-
-"I hated him," she said. Her eyes looked through him, fixed on the abyss
-of the past. "I hated him. He was abhorrent to me. I lived with him for
-fifteen years--fifteen long, long years. I bore his brutality, his
-wickedness--I am not the woman to use the word prudishly--I can make
-allowances--wide ones--for temperament, environment, all the mitigating
-causes: but my husband's wickedness was unimaginably vile; to see it
-stained one's thoughts." The memory of it, as she spoke, had chilled her
-to a drawn and frozen pallor; it was as though the blighting breath of
-the past went across her face, aging it, emptying it of life.
-
-"I bore the ruin he brought; that was nothing--a spur to love, had love
-been possible. I bore his serene, inflexible selfishness. The only thing
-I would not bear"--and she still looked full at Damier, but with the
-same unseeing largeness of gaze--"was his love. _His_ love!" She turned
-and walked across the room. Damier felt his own flesh shudder as he
-looked behind the curtain her words lifted, felt his own heart freeze in
-the aching sympathy of its comprehension. He could not speak to her. It
-seemed to him that she stood at a great distance from him and would not
-hear him. Her voice, when she spoke again, had less of its haunting
-terror, but it still thrilled with a deep and tragic note: "All this, as
-thousands of women have done, because it was my duty--to help him--to
-uphold him--to stand by him unflinchingly, and--because he was _her_
-father. You said that my reasons for hating her began with him. Ah, but
-he was my reason for loving her so desperately--with such a longing to
-atone to her for him. I gave her all the love he had crushed out of me.
-You see his picture there; I have schooled myself, so that she may not
-feel the smirch of him through my horror, to bear the sight of him, to
-say to myself every day, 'That is the face I loved.' Oh, what
-madness!--what madness!" She pressed her hands hard upon her eyes. "Some
-day, perhaps,--since I tell you everything,--I will tell you that story,
-too--my love-story. The memory of it is like a block of lead upon my
-heart." Her hands fell, but the memory made her silent, and for a long
-moment she stood looking down. "But all was hidden from her: the
-dread,--that soon passed--I was the stronger, he came to feel it, dread
-fell from me,--the hate that followed it, and the final, the terrible
-pity,--for I came to pity him when he hung about my life, helpless, like
-a torn and dirty rag,--all that was hidden from her. I kept her lifted
-out of the mud he dragged us down to; she never saw its depths. While he
-lived, and while he was dying,--and horrible to see and hear,--she was
-at a school. Those days!" She paused and turned away, and then went on:
-"It was in the winter. Lessons fell away; there was the school, the
-doctor, all the expenses of an illness to be met. I went into the
-streets of nights, a man carrying my harp, and sang for money; I had a
-voice till then, and I braved more than the snow and the night to do it:
-I was still beautiful. This that you may see how I loved her, how I
-struggled for her, how like any mother, though now I seem so hard--so
-hideously unnatural. Ah, I fought--I cannot tell you, you cannot guess,
-how I fought for her. And then, he died, and then there was for me peace
-and the blossoming of delicious hope. She and I together, saved from the
-wreck. It seemed to me that I had battled through waves, past rocks and
-whirlpools, holding her to my breast, and had reached the shore at
-last--she alive for me, and I for her. And then--ah, then! The
-shipwreck, the years of struggle, were crude tragedy to my gradual
-realizing of the subtle disaster that was to poison my life forever.
-Year by year I saw it coming--I saw him creeping into her. I saw the
-grave purpose settle round her lips--the steady greed for self. I saw
-his smile in her eyes; his eyes were beautiful like hers: when I first
-looked at them, I thought them full of splendid dreams, noble strength.
-She was not cruel, or brutal, or vicious, as he had been. She submitted
-placidly; she submitted, and I hoped for happiness. I could not make her
-happy or unhappy. I meant nothing to her except the thing that fed and
-clothed her. She took what I could give, and waited for what I could not
-give. She lied only when the truth would not serve her purpose better;
-so, often, she was frank with me. Her grave laugh maddened me, and her
-indifferent adapting of herself to me--for expediency, not for love. If
-only she had become a gentle and beautiful animal, to guard from its own
-instincts! but she is an animal of such hideous intelligence; she knows
-when I try to guard her, and evades me. Like him, she is corrupt to the
-core of her; not--do not misunderstand me--that she would do wrong in a
-conventional sense--and that it is conventional wrong-doing that I
-dread she has always pretended to read into my horror of evil, making a
-plaster saint of me so that she may more easily evade the deeply
-understanding woman of flesh and blood. Hers is the worse corruption,
-that calculates chances, chooses and manages. It is there in her, I
-know, though, in its worst forms, latent still--I think."
-
-Damier, white already, felt himself blanch before the rapid glance, like
-a sword-stroke across his face, that she cast upon him. She guessed at
-all his knowledge.
-
-Again she turned away and walked up and down the room.
-
-"Hideous, hideous that I should speak so to you, and to you I hoped, yet
-dreaded--You will wonder how I could have hoped it; how, knowing this, I
-should not have warned you. But at first I did not think it possible,
-though I knew her charm; at first I did not understand you, and, not
-understanding, I guarded you. And then I saw your generous, your
-pitiful heart, and I saw that it understood Claire, that perhaps you
-understood her better than I did. With you she was her best self; she
-trusted you, it seemed, so utterly. I hoped that yours was the clearer
-vision, that I was warped, no longer capable of true seeing. Yet, when
-the friendship that I rejoiced in grew, as I thought, into love, there
-was a terrible struggle in me. My strong attachment to you--you who had
-opened the prison gates that shut me into my misery, who brought me out
-of a loneliness so long, so bitter--ah! my friend, do not think that I
-have not seen and felt it all; but I could not speak to you as I might
-have spoken had it not been for that struggle in me between the justice
-owed to you--yet that you did not seem to need--and the duty to her--not
-to withhold, for your sake, a possibility that might redeem her. My mind
-was fixed in that struggle; of our friendship, yours and mine, I could
-not think clearly. If you had been ignorant, if she had hidden herself
-from you, I should have sacrificed her unflinchingly to you; I should
-have interposed and shown her to you. But she showed herself to you. I
-knew, from my knowledge of you, that she would not attract you as she
-attracts most men, not nobly. I saw from her looks with you, her words,
-that she would make no efforts so to attract you. I must say all to you,
-since you must understand all. Claire does not love you, but you attract
-what is best in her. She relies, I have guessed it, upon the very pathos
-of her moral ugliness to enchant you, to arouse in you the chivalrous,
-redemptive qualities she sees in you. And I grew to hope that you saw
-something that I could not see. I even began to feel a blind, groping
-tenderness for her through your fancied tenderness; and as I allowed
-myself to hope that you loved her, I allowed myself to have faith in the
-redeeming power of your love."
-
-She stood before him now, looking at him with saddest eyes; and Damier,
-answering them, shook his head.
-
-"Alas, no. It would have been my story over again, the positions
-reversed, and you without my illusions, had you loved her, married her;
-and yet, it was because you had no illusions that I hoped."
-
-But Damier could not think of dead hopes.
-
-"What you have suffered!" he said.
-
-"Yes," Madame Vicaud answered, "I have suffered; but do not, in your
-kindness, your tenderness, exaggerate. I have suffered, but all has not
-been black. There have been flowers on the uphill road. I don't believe
-in a woe that is blind to them, or to the sky overhead."
-
-But she still stood looking at dead hopes, not thinking of him.
-
-"Clara," said Damier.
-
-She was a woman of deep understanding, yet even now,--and hardly was it
-to be wondered at, so lifted through its very intensity was his love for
-her above love's ordinary manifestations,--even now her name so gravely
-spoken by him had no further meaning for her than the one openly,
-proudly, joyously accepted, the meaning of the strange tie that had
-united them; but, while she accepted it, his look startled her. It
-showed nothing new, but seemed to interpret newly something she had not
-recognized before. Smiling faintly, she said:
-
-"You have a right."
-
-"Not the right I would have." He felt no excitement, only the enraptured
-solemnity that a soul might feel in some quiet dawn of heaven on finding
-another soul parted from years ago on earth--long sought for, long
-loved.
-
-She said nothing, her dark eyes fixing him with a wonder that was
-already a recognition.
-
-"I love you," said Damier. He had not moved toward her, nor had she
-moved away. A little distance separated them, and they stood silently
-looking at each other.
-
-"You mean--" she said at last.
-
-"I mean in every way in which it is possible for a man to love the woman
-he worships."
-
-The whirl of her mind mirrored itself in the stricken stupefaction of
-her wan, beautiful features. She caught at one flashing thought. "And
-I--her mother! You might have been my son!"
-
-"No; I might not," Damier affirmed.
-
-"By age; I am old enough."
-
-"I know your age; you are forty-seven," said Damier, able to smile at
-her, "and I am thirty. If you were seventy-seven, the only difference
-would be that I could have fewer years to spend with you; I should wish
-to spend them just the same. As it is, your age does not make us
-ludicrous before the world, if we were to consider that."
-
-At this she turned from him as if in impatience at this quibbling, and
-her own endurance of it, at such a moment.
-
-"My friend! That this should have happened to you!"
-
-"Can it never happen to you?" he asked.
-
-"I would never allow it to happen to me."
-
-"It would not be to look up at the sky--it would not even be to stoop to
-a flower?"
-
-"I would not allow myself to look, or to stoop, knowing that after I had
-looked and gathered, the flower would wither, the sky be black."
-
-He saw, as she gazed steadily round at him, that the gaze was through
-tears. Clasping his hands with a supplication that was, indeed, more the
-worshiper's than the lover's, Eustace said:
-
-"But would you--would you stoop?"
-
-"I cannot answer that; I cannot think the answer. Your friendship has
-led me away from the rocky wastes into the sweetest, the serenest
-meadows." Though she spoke with complete self-mastery, the tears ran
-down as she said these words, and she turned her face away. "I should be
-culpable indeed if I allowed you to lead me aside into a fool's
-paradise, with a precipice waiting for you in the middle of it. I shall
-be an old woman while you are still a young man."
-
-"Beloved woman, can you not believe that, young or old, you are the same
-to me? I have not fallen in love with you--I have found you. When I saw
-your face in the old picture I knew that it was mine."
-
-"The face of a girl. I was nineteen then."
-
-"Do not juggle with the truth. Your face now is dearer to me than the
-girl's face. Your heart, I believe, is nearer mine than you know. That
-struggle in you when you imagined that I loved Claire, was it not, in
-part, the struggle of a sacrifice? Did you not submit because you
-thought that the side of self-sacrifice must be the right side?"
-
-Still her face was turned from him, and after a silence she said,
-"Perhaps."
-
-"And if this were our last moment--if there were no question of age or
-of going on--then--then would you tell me that you have felt something
-of my feeling--the finding--the recognition--the rapture--own to it with
-joy?"
-
-She turned to him now and looked at him, at his eager, solemn face, the
-supplication and worship of his clasped hands, looked for a long time,
-without speaking. But her face, though she was so white and so grave,
-seemed, as she looked, to reflect, with a growing radiance, the youth in
-his.
-
-"I have felt it," she said at last, "but I have hardly known that I felt
-it."
-
-"You know now?"
-
-"Yes, I know now."
-
-"You could own to it--with joy?"
-
-"If this were our last moment.--Ah, my friend!" He had taken her into
-his arms.
-
-The long years drifted away like illusions before an awakening. Her
-girl-hood--but weighted with such dreams of sorrow and loneliness!--seemed
-with her again. She was helpless, though her heart reproached him and
-herself, yet could not wholly reproach--helpless in a happiness poignant
-and exquisite. They kissed each other gently, and, his arms around her,
-they looked earnestly at each other. Speechlessly they looked the
-finding, the recognition, the rapture.
-
-The meeting in heaven had come; but there was still the earth to be
-counted with.
-
-
-
-
-XV
-
-
-AS they heard the tinkle of the entrance-bell, Claire's
-voice, her step outside, Madame Vicaud moved away from Damier. She was
-seated in a chair near the table, and the young man stood beside her,
-when Claire entered.
-
-Claire paused in the doorway and looked sullenly, yet hardly
-suspiciously, at them. She had never worn a mask for Damier, yet he saw
-in her flushed and somber face something new to him, saw that she lacked
-some quality--was it confidence, indifference, placidity?--that he had
-always found in her. He guessed in a moment that her interview with
-Monsieur Daunay had not been a propitious one.
-
-"I did not expect to see you so soon again, and under such suddenly
-changed circumstances," she said to him. "What are you talking about?
-Me?" She took off her hat,--the day was sultry,--pushed up her thick
-hair, and dropped her length of ruffled, clinging white into a chair.
-"So; I have seen Monsieur Daunay. He lost no time, it seems. He asked my
-hand of you first, I hear, Mamma, in proper form--_tres
-convenablement_."
-
-"Yes," Madame Vicaud assented with composure.
-
-"It seems that you discouraged him."
-
-"I could not encourage him from what you had told me, but from what he
-told me it seems that you did not discourage him," the mother answered.
-
-"I have never been in a position to discourage any useful possibility,"
-said Claire.
-
-Madame Vicaud, in silence, and with something of a lion-tamer's calm
-intentness of eye, looked at her daughter; and Claire, after meeting the
-look with one frankly hostile, turned her eyes on Damier.
-
-"And it seems that you, last night, did not discourage Monsieur Daunay's
-hopes; he spoke of you with gratitude. What have you to say to it all
-now?"
-
-"I have nothing to say to it; it has always been your affair--yours and
-his."
-
-"You made it yours, it seems to me!"
-
-"Unwillingly."
-
-"Oh--unwillingly!" Claire laughed her ugliest laugh. "I don't understand
-you, Mr. Damier--I began not to understand you this morning"; and, as he
-made no reply:
-
-"Your present silence doesn't accord with your past interference."
-
-"My silence? What do you expect me to say?" Damier asked, with real
-wonder, forgetting the mother's intimations.
-
-"Can you deny that--apart from your feelings of angered propriety--you
-were pitifully jealous last night and this morning? I had to assure you
-again and again that I did not love him--the truth, as it happens."
-
-This speech now opened such vistas of interpretation to the past--of
-interrogation to the future--that Damier could only, speechlessly, look
-his wonder at her.
-
-"Were you not jealous?" she demanded.
-
-"Not in the faintest degree."
-
-Her flush deepened at this, an angry, not an embarrassed, flush.
-
-"And what, then, was your motive for prying, meddling, cross-questioning
-as you did? You had a motive?"
-
-"I have always had an interest in your welfare, Claire, but your mother
-was my motive for meddling and cross-questioning, as you put it."
-
-"Oh--my mother!" Claire tossed her a look where she sat, her arms
-folded, near the table. "You were afraid for my honor since hers was
-involved in it? Was that it?"
-
-"Perhaps that was it--and for the same reason I beg you to spare your
-mother now."
-
-Claire leaned back in her chair and fixed upon him a heavy stare above
-her heavy flush. "Come," she said, "I have never had pretenses with
-you--I have always been frank. Do you intend to marry me? There it is
-clearly; I have no false delicacy, and, bon Dieu! you have given me
-every right to ask the question."
-
-Madame Vicaud, soundless at the table, now leaned her elbows upon it and
-covered her face with her hands. "Come," Claire repeated, casting
-another look upon her; "for Mamma's sake, you owe me an answer. Spare
-her the shame--she feels it bitterly, you observe--of seeing my
-outrageous uncertainty prolonged. Haven't you spent all your time with
-me? Haven't you taken upon yourself a position of authority toward
-me--made my affairs your own? Aren't you going to--how would Mamma put
-it?--redeem me--lift me? Or are you going to let my soul suffer a little
-longer?"
-
-"You could hardly speak so, Claire, if you spoke sincerely," said
-Damier; "you may once have misinterpreted my friendship for you, but you
-no longer misinterpret it. I have never intended to marry you. It is
-you, remember, who force me into this ugly attitude. I could not face
-you in it, were I not sure that your feeling for me has always been as
-free from anything amorous as mine for you."
-
-"I don't speak of my feeling for you!" Claire cried in a voice suddenly
-loud, leaning forward with her elbows on the arms of her chair, "but of
-yours for me! It is not there now--I see it plainly, and I see plainly
-why! She--_she_--has been talking to you against me!--telling you about
-some childish follies in my life!--making you believe that I would not
-be a fit wife for you! Ah, yes!--I know her!" Claire pointed a shaking
-finger at her mother. "She would think it her duty to protect you
-against me--I know her!"
-
-"Be still," said Damier in his voice of steel.
-
-Claire, for a moment, sank back, panting, defiant, but silent before it.
-
-"You are conscious of your own falsehood, but you can scarcely be
-conscious of how base and vile you are. Your mother, when I came to-day,
-was hoping that I had come to ask her for your hand; she believed that I
-loved you, and hoped it."
-
-Claire, in her sullen recoil, still remained sunken and panting in her
-chair.
-
-"Well, then! And what have you got to say to us both, then, if you gave
-us both cause for such a supposition? What have you meant by it all?"
-
-"What I meant from the beginning I can best define by telling you that
-to-day I asked your mother to marry me."
-
-Claire sat speechless and motionless. The words seemed to have arrested
-thought, and to have nailed her to her chair. Damier looked at Madame
-Vicaud. Her hands had dropped from her face, and she met his eyes.
-
-"The truth was allowed me?" he said.
-
-"It is always allowed," she answered.
-
-Her face was so stricken, so ghastly, that Damier, almost forgetting in
-his great solicitude the hateful presence in the room, leaned over her,
-taking her hand.
-
-"Bear it. It is better to have it all over. And, in a sense, it is my
-own fault. I should have spoken to you sooner--defined what I meant from
-the first."
-
-"So," Claire said suddenly. Her smoldering eyes, while they spoke, had
-gone from one to the other. "So; this is what it all meant! Indeed, I
-cannot blame myself for not having guessed it. You in love with my
-mother! Or, shall we not more truthfully say, she in love with you?--the
-explanation, as a rule, you know, of these odd amorous episodes. I begin
-to understand. I did not suspect a rival in my own mother. Clever
-Mamma!"
-
-"Let this cease now," said Madame Vicaud, in a lifeless voice. "All has
-been said that it is necessary to say."
-
-"Indeed, no!" cried Claire. She sprang to her feet, braving Damier's
-menacing look, and stood before them with folded arms, defiantly, "All
-has not been said! I am to marry the middle-aged, middle-class man of
-small fortune, and you are to marry the _prince charmant_! Ah, don't
-think that I am in love with you, _prince charmant_, though I might have
-loved you had not my mother had such a keen eye for her own interests,
-and kept mine so dexterously in the background. I might have loved you
-had you been allowed to fall in love with me. Oh, I know what you would
-say!" Her voice rose to a shout as she interrupted his effort to speak.
-"How base, how vile, and how vulgar--_n'est-ce pas_? A girl clamoring
-over the loss of a husband! Shocking! Well, I own to my vulgarity. I did
-want to marry you. You have money, position--all the things I never hid
-from you that I liked; and you interested me, and I liked you, and I
-could be myself with you. My mother has always been too dainty to secure
-a husband for me--arrange my future: I have had to do all the ugly work
-myself; and I liked you because--just because I had to do no ugly work
-with you. And I clamor now--not because I have lost you--no, it's not
-that; but because she--_she_ has made her goodness serve her so!--has
-made it pay where my frankness failed. She is good, if you will; but I
-tell you that I prefer my vulgarity--my baseness--my vileness to her
-clever virtue; or is it an unconquerable passion with you, Mamma?--is it
-to be a _mariage d'amour_ rather than a _mariage de convenance_?"
-
-While Claire spoke, her mother, as if mesmerized by her fury, sat
-looking at her with dilated eyes and a fixed face--a face too fixed to
-show anguish. Rather it was as if, with an intense, spellbound interest,
-she hung upon her daughter's words, hardly feeling, hardly flinching
-before her insults, hardly conscious of each whip-like lash that struck
-her face to a more death-like whiteness. Now, drawing a breath that was
-almost a gasp, she leaned forward over the table, stretching her arms
-upon it and clasping her hands. "Claire, Claire!" she said, with a
-hurried, staccato utterance, "I see it all with your eyes--I understand.
-You have had something really dear taken from you--not love, perhaps,
-but a true friendship; that is so, isn't it? He seems to have turned
-against you,--isn't it so?--and through me. There is in you an anger
-that seems righteous to you. How cruel to have our best turned against
-us! I see all that. Ah, no, no! Let me speak to her!" For, Claire
-keeping the hardened insolence of her stare upon her, Damier, full of a
-passionate, protecting resentment, put his arm around her shoulders,
-took her hand. She threw off the hand, the arm, almost cruelly. "Let me
-speak to my child! Don't come between us now--now when we may come
-together, she and I. Yes, Claire, he loves me,--you see it,--too much,
-perhaps, to be just to you, though he has been so just--more just than I
-have been, perhaps; he has been so truly your friend. But now I am
-just. I am your mother. I can understand. I love him, Claire, yes, I
-love him; but I understand you. I will never do anything to part us
-further--understand me! I will never marry him against your will. Oh,
-Claire, try to understand me--try to trust me--try to love me!" She rose
-to her feet, her face ardent with the upsurging of all her longing
-motherhood, its sudden flaming into desperate hope through the deep
-driftings of ashen hopelessness; and as if swayed forward by this flame
-of hope, this longing of love, this ardor, she leaned toward her child,
-stretched out her arms toward her face of heavy impassivity. At the
-gesture, at her mother's last words, Claire's impassivity flickered into
-a half-ironic, half-pitying smile. But she did not advance to the
-outstretched arms. Merely looking at her with this searing pity, she
-said:
-
-"You would marry him to me if you could, wouldn't you?--you would, as
-usual, sacrifice yourself to me; as usual, your radiance would shine
-against my dark. Poor, magnanimous Mamma! No, no, no!" She turned and
-walked up and down the room. "No, no! I am tired of all this--tired of
-you; and you are tired of me. You will marry Mr. Damier. Why not, after
-all? Don't let scruples of conscience interfere, especially none on my
-account. It would not separate us: we are separated; we have always been
-separated, and that we are gives me no pain. But don't expect me either
-to live with you when you are married, or to marry my antique lover and
-settle down to the respectable, tepid joys he offers me. No, and no
-again. I will not marry him. I leave the respectability to you two
-excellent people." The glance she shot at them now as they stood
-together was pure irony. Her mother's pale and beautiful face still kept
-its look of frozen appeal, as though, while she made the appeal, she had
-been shot through the heart. Its beauty seemed to sting Claire where the
-appeal did not touch, and, too, Damier's look, bent on her with a quiet
-that defied her and all she signified, stung her, perhaps, more deeply.
-
-"My poor chances can't compete with yours, Mamma," she muttered. "Let me
-tell you that despair becomes you." She took up her hat.
-
-"Where are you going, Claire?" Madame Vicaud asked in her dead voice.
-
-"Don't be alarmed. Not to the Seine. I am going to a tea with Mrs.
-Wallingham. I shall be back to dinner. You will admit me?"
-
-"I shall always admit you."
-
-"Good." Claire was putting in her hat-pins before the mirror. "That is
-reassuring. Console her, Mr. Damier. Try to atone to her for me--bad as
-I am, I am sure that you can do so. Ah, I don't harmonize with a
-love-scene!--it was one I interrupted, I suppose. Let me take my
-baseness--my vileness--from before you." Her hand on the door, she
-paused, fixing a last look upon them; then, with a short laugh, she
-said, "Accept my blessing," and was gone.
-
-
-
-
-XVI
-
-
-MADAME VICAUD said nothing. She drew her hand from
-Damier's and sank again into the chair from which she had risen. Hope,
-ardor, and love, forever perhaps, were dead within her. She had hated
-her daughter, but under the hatred had been, always, the hidden flame,
-not, perhaps, of love, but of longing to love. She hated no longer, and
-the flame was quenched. Even in his nearness to her, Damier could not
-look with her at that slain longing. Walking away from her, he stood for
-a long time, gazing unseeingly over the garden, in silence. At last he
-turned and came to her. Her arm leaned on the table and her head upon
-her hand. With unutterable weariness she looked up at him.
-
-"And now," she said, "you must go, my friend."
-
-"Go?" Damier repeated.
-
-Years of resolute endurance looked from her eyes; the weariness was not
-a wavering. Her face seemed sinking back into the abyss from which he
-had rescued it.
-
-"Yes, you must go."
-
-"And leave you with her!"
-
-"And leave me with her," she assented monotonously.
-
-"Never--never!"
-
-She passed her hand over her brow, pressing her eyelids, as if in the
-effort to dispel her deep fatigue and find words with which to answer
-his harassing protest.
-
-"Yet you must. I have the wonder, the treasure of your love for me. I
-will keep it always. I will never forget you. But it is impossible, even
-the friendship, now. We must not drag what is dear to us in the mire. I
-could not keep you as my friend under her eyes. I must live with her,
-and for her; that is the only life possible for me. I made it for
-myself. Whatever her cruelty, whatever her baseness, I have only to
-remember that I am responsible for her, that I am her only chance. And
-after this her presence in my life makes yours wrong. She knows now that
-you are not a friend only, and as a husband you could not remain. Such a
-_menage a trois_ would be as detestable as it would be grotesque."
-
-"She will marry!" cried Damier. "She must marry Monsieur Daunay."
-
-"I do not think that she will marry him; but if she does marry, I could
-not separate my life from hers, though then I could see you again, but
-as friend, as friend only."
-
-Damier burst out into a smothered invective:
-
-"And you think of sacrificing the rest of your life to that
-creature--who has no love for you--whom you cannot love! What can you do
-for her? You can never change or soften her."
-
-He felt that the vehemence of his despair and rebellion dashed itself
-against a rocky inflexibility, although she still bent her head upon her
-hand with the same deep weariness, not looking at him, still spoke on
-with the same monotonous patience:
-
-"I cannot call the fulfilling of the most rudimentary maternal duty a
-sacrifice. You forget that my youth is past, and that with it the time
-for sacrifices is past, too. I have no claims on life. Life, at my age
-and in my position, can only be a dedication. I can, perhaps, never
-soften or change her: but I can still protect her; I can still lend her
-the dignity, such as it is, of my home and my companionship. And I can
-pity her, most piteous creature--whose mother has no love for her."
-
-"Ah, you do not love me!" cried Damier, and all his youth was in the
-cry. "You sacrifice _me_ with such composure! You give yourself to have
-your life sucked out of you by this vampire shape of the past. And it is
-me you rob! It is my life you immolate, as well as your own! What of my
-claim on life--my claim on you? You have no conception of what you are
-to me, or you could not speak of shutting me out from you; you could not
-think of sending me away! You could not speak so--think so--if you loved
-me!"
-
-From her chair she now looked up at him, not with weariness, with a look
-curiously vivid and tender. "You speak like a boy," she said.
-
-Damier flung himself on his knees beside her. "And you think that I can
-leave you when you can look at me like that--love me like that!"
-
-"Because I do." She let him take her hands, and went on, almost smiling
-at him: "Because I love you like that, and because you love me like
-that, and because I am so much older than you--can't you feel it? how
-like a little boy--passionate, unruly in his grief--you seem to me! And
-because, in spite of my age and your boyishness, we do yet love each
-other so greatly that the very greatness of our love makes the question
-of our being together or apart really of not such significance."
-
-"Of not such significance!" poor Damier cried. "I am to find you in
-heaven, then!"
-
-"Probably." She did smile now, but he guessed that it was the brave
-smile she could summon over anguish. He guessed that her feeling of his
-boyishness was less apparent to her than her feeling of his power over
-her, his right to her. She might never yield to the power, never own to
-the right, but to guess that she felt them was assurance enough for the
-moment, and the pallor of the face that smiled at him was a reproach to
-him.
-
-"No, no," he said; "I shall keep you there--and I shall keep you here,
-too. I will rescue you. I will find out the way. And I will leave you
-now and give you peace for a little while. You are terribly tired."
-
-"Terribly," she assented. "It is kind and generous of you to go now."
-
-"But my going is to be taken as no token of submission. I will return."
-
-"To say good-by."
-
-"So you say."
-
-"So you will do." And she still smiled, all tenderness, all
-inflexibility.
-
-"Never, never, never!" said Damier.
-
-
-
-
-XVII
-
-
-DAMIER, for his own part, felt no need of peace. A
-passionate protestation, a passionate determination, filled him. At his
-hotel, as if in answer to vague plans and projects, the figure of
-Monsieur Daunay, rising from a chair, confronted him. From Monsieur
-Daunay's relief and alacrity he guessed that he had been waiting there
-for some time--ever since, he further guessed, his conversation with
-Claire.
-
-"You have heard?" asked Monsieur Daunay, and a host of questions looked
-from his eyes.
-
-"That you have proposed to Mademoiselle Vicaud, yes; and that she has
-answered you, I fear, not favorably; yes, I have heard."
-
-"You have seen her?"
-
-"I was with her mother, speaking with her of it, when Claire came."
-
-"I have intruded thus upon you," said Monsieur Daunay, "in the faint
-hope that you might be able, after seeing her, to give me some
-encouragement, since from her I could elicit none. She was sullen,
-silent, reproached me for my haste. After all these years!" Monsieur
-Daunay groaned, and dropped again into his chair, folding his arms and
-bowing his head in a despairing acquiescence to fate's cruelty. "After
-all these years!" he repeated.
-
-Damier saw down a long vista of them, sunny with the encouraging smiles
-of the charming Claire.
-
-"You have assured me," Daunay presently said, "that you were not the
-cause of this change in Claire."
-
-It was a rather perplexing question, but Damier was able truthfully to
-answer it with: "I can again assure you that it is only through her
-relation with her mother that Claire interests me."
-
-"And so she has assured me, again and again, and that all her affection
-was for me. And yet, now that I can claim her--now that I come, trusting
-and hoping, she turns from me; she mutters that I am too old; not rich
-enough. Ah, _mon Dieu_!"
-
-Claire, clearly, Damier also saw, had never endangered her certain hold
-upon Monsieur Daunay's usefulness by confessing to him her expectation
-of larger achievements. She would evade him, and hold him, as long as
-she had need of him.
-
-Part of her anger to-day had, no doubt, been due to the fact that the
-sudden crisis had forced her into a decisive attitude toward him while
-yet uncertain that she could with safety give him up. Yet, indeed, she
-had been able to avoid absolute decisiveness--so Monsieur Daunay's next
-words proved:
-
-"She told me that all her affection was still mine, but owned to higher
-ambitions; she had never, she said, hidden from me that she was
-ambitious, and life now was opening new possibilities to her. Could
-affection and ambition be combined, had I a large fortune to gild my
-middle age and my unimportance, she would at once marry me."
-
-"She is utterly unworthy of you," said Damier.
-
-At this a faint, ironic smile crossed the Frenchman's face. "Ah, _mon
-ami_," he said, "you need not tell me that. If I love Claire, do not
-imagine, as I told you last night, that I am blinded by my love. I love
-her _d'un amour fou_--and I recognize it. She possesses me; she can do
-what she will with me; I should forgive her anything. But I know that I
-am a captive--and to no noble captor."
-
-"Just heavens!" Damier broke out, indifferent, in his indignant pity, to
-his own interests, "shake off this obsession--and her with it! Leave
-her; go away; do not see her again. What misery if you were to marry
-her!"
-
-"What will you? I adore her!" His helplessness seemed final. He
-presently went on: "But I came to-day to ask for your help. You occupy
-a peculiar position toward Madame Vicaud and her daughter; you have
-influence with them both. Use it in my favor, I beg of you. Intercede
-for me."
-
-"Any influence I have shall, I promise you, be devoted to that purpose.
-I can hardly hope that your hopes will be realized; their realization
-could not be for your happiness. Pardon me, but have you never suspected
-that Claire is like her father--that she, too, is a miserable creature?"
-
-For a long moment Daunay looked at him.
-
-"She is like her father," he then said; "but have you never suspected,
-or, rather, do you not now see, that, because of that, my claim is all
-the stronger? What man not knowing it, marrying her in ignorance of it,
-would not repent? I should never repent. She is like him, if you will,
-but she is, irrevocably, the woman I love. More than that, she is the
-child I love; I have watched her grow up. From the beginning, she has
-been _ma petite Claire_; so she will be to the end--whatever that end
-may be."
-
-Monsieur Daunay spoke with a profound feeling, a profound sincerity that
-the emotional tremor of his voice, the emotional tears in his eyes, only
-made the more characteristic and touching to Damier. He got up and
-grasped the Frenchman's hand in silence.
-
-A knock at the door broke upon this compact of sympathy; a garcon
-brought a card to Damier and said that the lady waited for him in the
-salon below. The card was Lady Surfex's, and on it was written:
-
- Must see you at once, on most important matter concerning Madame V.
-
-"Wait for me here," Damier said to Monsieur Daunay. "This may concern
-you as well as me."
-
-He found Lady Surfex in the drearily gaudy salon, her face ominous of
-ill tidings.
-
-"My dear Eustace," she said,--they were alone, yet her voice was
-discreetly low,--"a horrid thing has happened--or is going to. I thought
-it best to come to you at once. Claire Vicaud runs away to-night with
-Lord Epsil."
-
-And, as he stared at her in stricken silence:
-
-"I found it out by chance. I was at Mrs. Wallingham's. They were
-there--Mademoiselle Vicaud and Lord Epsil. I watched them, indeed, with
-some uneasiness, as they sat, with ostentatious retirement, in a dim
-corner. I saw them go out together. Do you know, Eustace, my distrust of
-that girl and of that man--in justice to her, I must say it--was so
-great that I really was on the point of following them--asking her to
-let me drive her home; but I hesitated, people I knew came in, I had to
-speak to them, and so some time went by. Then, about half an hour after
-they were gone, Mrs. Wallingham came to me and whispered that a maid--a
-discreet English person who was dispensing tea in the dining-room--had
-overheard Lord Epsil saying to Mademoiselle Vicaud that they would take
-the night train to Dinard, and that his yacht was there. The woman came
-at once to her mistress. And now, Eustace, what can be done to save
-_her_?" They both knew to whom the pronoun referred; a conventional
-saving of Claire had significance only in reference to her mother.
-
-Damier was steadying his thoughts.
-
-"The night train." He looked at his watch. "There is time," he said.
-
-"For what, Eustace?"
-
-"There is only one chance. One can't appeal to her heart, or
-conscience--or even, it seems, to her ambition; but one might to her
-greed--offer her some firmer, surer competence. I had thought of it
-dimly before. I could catch that Dinard train--go with them--find some
-opportunity for seeing her alone before they reach Dinard--or before
-they reach the yacht."
-
-"But, Eustace," her helpless wonder reproached his baseless optimism,
-"what _could_ you do? You can't beard the man; she is of age--goes
-willingly. What a situation!"
-
-"I could offer her half of my income for life, if she would consent to
-return with me, and to marry a man who is devoted to her--who, I think,
-would forgive anything."
-
-"Eustace, it would leave you almost poor!"
-
-"Not quite, since the half is large enough, I trust, to tempt her! The
-whole would not be too much to give to save _her_ from this final blow."
-
-"But can you--this man--will he?"
-
-"He is up-stairs. I will see him, and start at once."
-
-"And, Eustace--wait; can't we keep it from her--can't we think of some
-good lie?"
-
-He had almost to smile at her intently thoughtful face.
-
-"What possible lie can we think of? Claire will not come back
-to-night--she must know, sooner or later."
-
-"But it is for to-night I want to spare her. Ah, I have it--no lie,
-either. I merely send a telegram, 'Claire may not return to-night: will
-explain to-morrow,' signed with my name; she will think Claire is
-passing the night with me; and then, you know, the girl may, at the last
-moment, decide not to go."
-
-Damier had to yield to her eagerness. Up-stairs the words he had with
-Daunay were short, bitter, decisive. Averting his eyes from the
-unfortunate man's face, he put the case before him. He turned his back
-on him when he had spoken, went to the window, left him to an unobserved
-quaffing of the poisonous cup.
-
-Monsieur Daunay's first words showed that he had quaffed it bravely and
-that his reason still stood firm.
-
-"She must be mad," he said; "it is not like her."
-
-"No, it is not like her. And I may tell you that I suspect revenge to be
-in part her motive. She had a terrible quarrel with her mother this
-afternoon."
-
-Damier turned now and faced him.
-
-"And now, Monsieur Daunay, are you willing to save her?"
-
-"I am ready," the Frenchman said quietly; "with your help, I am ready to
-save her."
-
-"I go at once, and with that assurance, then?"
-
-"Yes; I am ready. Tell her that. Tell her, too, that if her mother will
-not receive her, she will find a home at my cousin's until our marriage
-can take place."
-
-"Her mother will receive her," said Damier. "As you have forgiven, so
-she will forgive."
-
-
-
-
-XVIII
-
-
-THE long, hot, rushing hours had passed, for Damier, in
-a sort of stupor, the anaesthesia of one fixed idea. In the stuffy
-railway-carriage, his eyes on the dark square of the open window, where
-one saw vaguely the starlit depths of a midsummer night, he thought,
-with the odd detachment of a crisis, of the past day: the sunny morning
-walk with Claire--green leaves, purple shadows; the afternoon's supreme
-moment--a deep pulse of wonder in his heart, hardly to be seen in
-images; Lady Surfex among the palms and monstrous gilded pottery of the
-hotel salon; Monsieur Daunay's quiet, white face; the crowded Paris
-railway-station, and the glimpse he had caught in it of Claire and Lord
-Epsil. This most recent impression was also the most vivid, threw all
-the others into a blurred background where, with a new look of woe, only
-Madame Vicaud's face glimmered clearly.
-
-The enforced pause at the height of his resolution made both the past
-and the future half illusory. The present, with not its usual flashing
-impermanence, had, for hours, been the same, had stopped, as it were, at
-an instant of vigilant alertness, and held him in it rigidly. Until the
-object of that vigilance, that alertness, were attained, he could not
-look forward or make projects. The chance for seeing Claire alone could
-not come, probably, until Dinard was reached. There, in the hurry of
-arrival, he might snatch a word with her. It would only be necessary to
-speak the word, to put the alternative before her. Entreaty would be
-useless; all the argument possible was the chink of gold in two hands;
-all the hope, that his chink might be the louder.
-
-Shortly after ten o'clock the train drew up in the Rennes station.
-Damier had let no such opportunity escape him, and he again stepped from
-his compartment and stood looking toward the part of the train where he
-knew were Claire and her cavalier. As he looked he saw the tall figure
-of the Englishman stroll across the platform to the refreshment-buffet.
-The light fell full on his long, smooth, pink face,--a papier-mache
-pink,--on his long, high nose and whity-brown mustache. Damier darted
-forward. In an instant he was at the door, still ajar, of the
-compartment that Lord Epsil had just left. He saw, under the yellow
-glare of the lamp, a confusion of traveling-bags, rugs, bandboxes
-(Claire had evidently shopped), newspapers and magazines; a large box of
-bonbons lay on a seat, its contents half rifled, its papers strewing the
-floor; and, settled back in a corner, her shoulders huddled together in
-a graceful sleepiness, was Claire. A long silk traveling-cloak fell over
-her white dress; the winged white hat of the morning was pushed a little
-to one side as her head leaned against the cushioned carriage; a
-drooping curve of loosened hair, shining in the light like molten brass,
-fell over her cheek and neck; her profile, half hidden, was at once
-petulant and relaxed with drowsiness.
-
-Damier did not hesitate. He sprang into the carriage. Not touching the
-girl, he leaned over her. "Claire," he said.
-
-In an instant she had started into erectness, staring stupefied, too
-stupefied for shame or anger.
-
-"I have only a moment," said Damier, speaking with a clear-cut dryness
-of utterance. "If you will come back with me, and marry Monsieur
-Daunay,--he knows all and will marry you,--half of my income is yours
-for life."
-
-After the first stare she had blinked in opening her eyes to the light
-and to the sudden apparition; the eyes were now fixed widely on him;
-they looked like two deep, black holes.
-
-"It is a bribe," she said.
-
-"Call it so if you will."
-
-"It shows your scorn for me."
-
-"Comprehension of you, rather."
-
-"And if I don't?"
-
-"If you don't I will challenge this man--and fight him. I am an
-excellent fencer, an excellent shot."
-
-She looked at him, half scoffing, yet half believing. "Englishmen don't
-fight duels."
-
-"This one will."
-
-"He might kill you."
-
-"I might kill him; you would have to take the risk."
-
-She shrugged her shoulders. "_Bien!_ I understand, too. I will fulfil
-myself." She half rose, then sank again. "How much?" He mentioned the
-sum--not a small one. "Make it two thirds," said Claire, keeping her
-dilated eyes upon him with an effect of final and defiant revelation.
-
-"Two thirds, then," he assented, in the steadied voice of one who does
-not dare hurry indecision. Yet, even now, she did not rise.
-
-"One more condition, please. I do not see my mother again. Let us say,
-if you like, that I am ashamed to meet her."
-
-"She has not been told--of this."
-
-"Yes, she has," said Claire. "I wrote and told her." There was the
-satisfaction of achievement in the way she said it. "Oh, yes; she
-knows."
-
-"Yet, even after that,--your vengeance, I suppose,--I hardly dare make
-the promise for her,--she can forgive--even this."
-
-"Ah," and the hoarse note was in Claire's voice, "but I can't take
-forgiveness from her. I have left the world where such episodes as this
-need forgiveness. Tolerance is now all that I will endure--and she will
-never tolerate. No; I will not come with you; I will not return to
-Monsieur Daunay and to respectability--unless you promise that I shall
-never see her again."
-
-"I promise it, then, if it is the condition."
-
-"You accept? _Bien!_" Claire sprang up, and ripping an illustration from
-a magazine, she scribbled on the blank back, "Have decided, after all,
-that I won't come," transfixed it with a hat-pin to the cushioned back
-of Lord Epsil's vacated seat, then, as rapidly, reached for two of the
-bandboxes, pulled them, rattling, from the racks, stooped and jerked a
-large pasteboard box from under a seat, and, encumbered as she already
-was, caught up from among the rugs and bags several smaller packages,
-dexterously holding them to her sides with her elbows.
-
-Damier, who had stared, hardly comprehending, gripped her wrist. "Put
-them down." She gazed round in sincere amazement; then, with quite a
-humorous laugh, dropped the booty. "I really forgot! No, it wouldn't be
-fair play, would it?--though, I confess, I should like to take a little
-vengeance; he has irritated me, been too complacent, too assured. This,
-too?" She touched the silk traveling-cloak. Damier, without speaking,
-stripped it off her; then, catching her by the arm, he almost dragged
-her from the carriage, for her feet stumbled among the dressing-cases
-and the abandoned boxes.
-
-He found, as they almost ran along the dim platform across to the one
-opposite, and as he pushed her into a compartment of the Paris train
-that stood there, that she was laughing. The adventure of it, the
-excitement, Lord Epsil's discomfiture, appealed, evidently, to her sense
-of mirth.
-
-There were other occupants of the carriage, and Damier was thankful for
-it. He did not want to talk to Claire. To reproach her would make him as
-ridiculous as beating a tin pan in the expectation of response other
-than a mocking cachinnation; not to reproach might seem to condone by
-comprehension. Yet, as she sank back into a corner, settled her shoulder
-in it, he saw that there was emotion under the laughter, that it was not
-only the tin-pan rattle. He could interpret it as almost a regret--a
-regret for something against which she had always rebelled, from which
-she had now finally freed herself, a sudden realization that forever she
-had lost the standing upon which he had found her. Yet, over this trace
-of emotion and suffering, that, to Damier, was more piteous than
-anything he had yet seen in her, she smiled at him, with half-dropped
-lids. It was the look, with her a new one, of brazening a shame. Already
-her nature had retaliated upon the wrong she had done it by fixing in
-her face a more apparent ugliness of expression. She glanced round at
-the sleepy, respectable occupants of the carriage, their sleepiness,
-however, keeping an eye upon this startling young person in her white
-dress.
-
-"Before we relapse into an irrevocable silence," she said, "let me
-inform you--it will complete your evil opinion of me--that I didn't
-really care about him; I cared for his caring about me--though at
-moments even that fatigued me, _il m'embetait quelquefois_; but then, I
-was glad to be revenged."
-
-"Upon whom? For what?"
-
-"Upon you both--for making me feel that I was not of your world."
-
-"We did not make you feel it, Claire."
-
-For some moments they were silent, as the train moved slowly from the
-station, and then she said:
-
-"Where will you take me?"
-
-"To his cousin's, Mademoiselle Daunay's. I have arranged all with him."
-
-A look, almost tremulous under its attempt at a light sneer, crossed her
-face.
-
-"What forgiveness! _Il est un peu lache, vous savez._"
-
-"Try, Claire, to deserve such touching _lachete_."
-
-Again Claire was, for some moments, silent; then, yawning slightly, yet,
-again his acuteness guessed, affectedly, she said, settling her shoulder
-more decisively in her corner:
-
-"There is the more hope for my deserving it since now I am rich. You may
-make your mind easy about my future. I have got all that I ever really
-wanted." It was the new and brazen note over the new shame; but as he
-looked at the face that first pretended to sleep, and that eventually
-did sleep, was not the brass the curious, anomalous shield that nature
-put around something growing--around a soul that at last, with a faint,
-half-conscious thrill, felt upon it the awakening breath of suffering?
-
-
-
-
-XIX
-
-
-THE morning was still fresh when Damier walked down the
-Rue B---- next day. Clear early sunlight fell upon the houses opposite
-Madame Vicaud's, glittering on their upper windows, gilding their
-austerity; but the depths of the street were still cool and unshadowed.
-
-The concierge was sweeping out the courtyard, and fixed on Damier a
-cogitating eye; his early visit and Claire's absence were, no doubt, to
-her vigilant curiosity, symptoms of something unusual. The cogitation,
-though mingled with relief, was repeated at the door above in
-Angelique's look. She was plainly glad to see him. Madame Vicaud had sat
-up all night, she volunteered, quite as if accepting him as a member of
-the family, privileged to confidences; she thought that madame had hoped
-for mademoiselle's return, and she feared that the letter that had
-arrived from mademoiselle an hour before had much distressed madame.
-Perhaps Monsieur Damier could persuade her to have some coffee; she had
-eaten no dinner the night before, nor breakfast this morning. Damier
-promised to persuade, and Angelique ushered him into the salon.
-
-He had never before seen it flooded with sunlight,--for this was his
-first morning visit,--and the windows overlooking the garden faced a
-radiant sky.
-
-His eyes were dazzled, and the dark figure that rose to meet him seemed
-to waver in the light.
-
-The calamity that had befallen her, at variance with the joyous setting
-in which he found her, showed in her white face--her eyes, still, as it
-were, astonished from the shock, dark with misery and a night of
-watching. On the table near which she had been sitting were a burnt-out
-candle, Lady Surfex's telegram of the night before, and a letter,
-opening its large displayal of vigorous handwriting to the revealing
-day: Claire's handwriting, Claire's letter of farewell. Damier took
-Madame Vicaud's hands and looked at her; the astonishment of her eyes
-hurt him more than their dry misery: after all, then, she had been so
-unprepared.
-
-"I know all," she said.
-
-"Not all."
-
-"She has left me--with that man; she has written to me."
-
-"Not all," he repeated.
-
-"Is there more? There cannot be worse."
-
-"There is better. She is safe."
-
-"Safe? Do you mean that she did not go?"
-
-Her eyes, with their sudden leap of light, burned him.
-
-"No; she did go. But I followed them; I brought her back."
-
-"Back to me? She was frightened at what she had done?" she again asked,
-her eyes still burning, but more dimly, upon him. His eyes dropped
-before them; looking down at the wasted hands he held, he said:
-
-"No, dearest, not to you--to Monsieur Daunay. She is to marry him. She
-is with his cousin now."
-
-Her vigil had evidently been tearless; even the arrival that morning of
-the fatal letter had not melted her frozen terror. But now, as she
-looked speechlessly at him, the long rise of a sob heaved her breast;
-her hands slid from his; she sank into a chair, and resting her crossed
-arms upon the table, she bent her head upon them and wept and shuddered.
-In the sunny stillness of the room the young man stood beside her. He
-felt an alien before this intimate, maternal anguish. She did not weep
-for long. She presently sat upright, dried her eyes, and pushed back her
-hair, keeping her hand pressed tightly, for a moment, on her forehead,
-as if in an effort to regain her long habit of self-control; and as if
-to gain time, to hide the painful effort from him, she pointed to
-Claire's letter. "Read it," she said.
-
-It was Claire's most callous, most ugly self; its passion of hatred and
-revenge hardly masked itself in the metallic tone of mockery. They were
-both well rid of her--her dear Mamma and her dear Mamma's suitor. They
-were far too good for her, and she justified them by showing them how
-far too bad she was for them. Pursuit and reproaches were useless. She
-feared that her dear Mamma's ermine robe of respectability must be
-permanently spotted by a daughter notoriously naughty--for she did not
-intend to hide her new situation. But perhaps the daughter could be
-lived down as the daughter's father had been. And on, and on--short
-phrases, lava-jets from the seething volcano of base vulgarity; Damier
-felt them burn his own cheek while he read.
-
-Madame Vicaud's eyes were on his when he raised them; but quickly
-looking away from him, she said: "It came this morning. Last night I
-could not understand that telegram; I could not believe that she would
-not return. I felt that something was being hidden from me; it was like
-battling in a stifling black air. And then--this came." He had laid the
-letter beside her, and she touched it with her finger, as if it had been
-a snake. "This--this end of all!"
-
-"She is safe," Damier repeated rather helplessly.
-
-"Safe!" the mother echoed. Leaning her head against the chair-back, she
-closed her eyes. Lovely and dignified even in her disgrace, nothing
-could smirch and nothing could abase her; she had never looked so noble
-as at this moment of dreadful defeat and overthrow. "And how have you
-saved her?" she asked. "What did Monsieur Daunay have to offer--what did
-you have to offer--to bring her back--since it was not repentance? It
-was not repentance?"
-
-"No; but I believe that she was glad to come. I--I dowered Claire," said
-Damier, after a momentary pause.
-
-Madame Vicaud, still keeping her eyes closed, was silent. He leaned over
-her and took her hand. "All that I have is yours. You dowered her, let
-us say."
-
-"What do you mean by dowering her?" she asked.
-
-"I have given her two thirds of my income for life."
-
-Her hand in his was chill and passive; he felt in her the cold shudder
-of shame.
-
-"Ah," he said, "from me--from me you do not resent such saving?"
-
-"Resent?--from you?" she said gently. "No, no; it is of her I am
-thinking. No; you did well, very well to save her--if we may call it
-saving. You have washed the spots from my respectability. We both know
-the value of such washing; but it is best--best to have us all
-respectable,"--a bitter smile touched her lips,--"since it is that we
-prize so. And were there no other inducements?"
-
-"There was a condition,"--he had to nerve himself to the speaking of
-it,--"that she did not see you again. She has, by her own wish, broken
-the bond between you. She has left your life."
-
-Madame Vicaud clenched her hands, and her chin trembled.
-
-"Yet--let me tell you," he said, "I believe that there is more hope for
-Claire so left in the evil and abasement she has made about herself than
-if she were to have remained with you; all the forces of her nature were
-engaged in resistance, or in a pretended submission that bided its time.
-Now she must do battle with the world on a level where life will teach
-her lessons she can understand. She has severed herself completely from
-you--she has completely fulfilled herself. Some new blossoming may
-follow; who knows?"
-
-"But no blossoming for me. I shall not see it," said Madame Vicaud. "My
-life has been useless."
-
-Useless? He wondered over her past, her long efforts, this wreck.
-
-Could goodness, however clear-sighted, however divine in its
-comprehension and pity, prevent evil from working itself out,
-fulfilling itself? Was not its working out perhaps its salvation?
-
-"How can you tell?" he said. "You have done your work for her."
-
-"I have done nothing for her. Everything has failed." Still, with closed
-eyes, she leaned her head against the chair, and slow tears fell down
-her cheeks.
-
-"You have fulfilled yourself toward her; that is not failure. You have
-fought your fight. Surely it is the fighting, and not its result, that
-makes success. And can you say that everything has failed--when you
-still have me to live for? Claire has gone out of your life. She has
-shut the door on you. She has left you, and--oh, dearest, dearest, she
-has left you to me!"
-
-He stood before her, looking at her with faithful eyes. His love for her
-made no menace to her grief; it did not jar upon her sorrow; rather it
-was with her in it all, it could not: be separated from it--as he could
-not be separated from any part of her life.
-
-"You are alone now," he said, "and I am alone."
-
-"No,"--she put her hand out to him,--"no; we are not alone."
-
-"Then--" The air was golden, and in the open window, white flowers, set
-there, dazzled against the sky. This day of sunlight and disaster must
-symbolize the past and the future, as her eyes, with their silent,
-solemn assent, her face, so sweet and so sorrowful. She rose; he drew
-her toward him. But then, as though another consecration than embrace
-and kiss were needed for this strange betrothal, she walked with him,
-holding his hand, to the window, where the white flowers dazzled in the
-sun. She looked at the flowers, at the trees, at the splendid serenity
-of the morning sky, softly breathing the clear, radiant air--as though
-in "a peace out of pain."
-
-"We will go away," said Damier, who looked at her; and, despite his
-sorrowing for her, the day seemed to him full of wings and music. "I do
-not want to see Paris again, do you? And this will be our last memory
-of it--these flowers, this garden, this sky, that we look at together.
-We will think of it so, without pain almost, in a new, new life."
-
-"A new life," she repeated gently and vaguely. Lifting his hand, she
-kissed it. "You have rescued me from the old one. You are my angel of
-resurrection," she said.
-
-Yet that the future was dim to her, except through his faith in
-it,--that, indeed, it could never become an unshadowed brightness,--he
-knew, as, leaning against him, needing protection from her bitter
-thoughts, she murmured in the anguish of her desolate and bereaved
-motherhood: "Oh--but my child!"
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rescue, by Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Rescue
-
-Author: Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-
-Release Date: February 25, 2013 [EBook #42194]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE RESCUE ***
-
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-Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
-produced from images available at The Internet Archive)
-
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-
-
-
-
-The Rescue
-
-[Illustration: frontispiece]
-
-
-
-
-The Rescue
-
-BY
-Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-AUTHOR OF "THE CONFOUNDING OF CAMELIA"
-"THE DULL MISS ARCHINARD"
-
-[Illustration: colophon]
-
-NEW YORK
-The Century Co.
-1902
-
-Copyright, 1901, 1902, by
-THE CENTURY CO.
-
-_Published May, 1902_
-
-THE DEVINNE PRESS.
-
-
-
-
-TO
-
-G. S. S.
-
-AND
-
-M. D. S.
-
-
-
-
-
-THE RESCUE
-
-[Illustration]
-
-I
-
-
-EUSTACE DAMIER bent his long, melancholy profile over
-the photograph-album. It was an old-fashioned album; its faded morocco
-cover, its gilt clasp loosened with age, went with the quiet
-old-fashioned little room, that had no intentions, made no efforts, and
-yet was full of meaning, with the charm of an epoch near enough to be
-easily understood, yet with a grace and a pathos in its modern antiquity
-deeper than that possessed by a more romantic remoteness. It was the
-sort of little drawing-room where one's mother might have accepted one's
-father: one could not quite see one's present in it, but one saw a near
-and a dear past. The gray wall-paper with its flecked gold flower, the
-curved lines of the sedately ornamental chairs and sofas, the crisp yet
-faded chintzes, the wedded vases on the marble mantelpiece, the books,
-well worn, on stands, the group of family silhouettes on the wall, the
-cheerful floral carpet--all made a picture curiously unlike the early
-nineties, and fully characteristic of the sixties. There were many
-flowers about the room, arranged with a cheerful regularity; the very
-roses looked old-fashioned in their closely grouped bunches; and in a
-corner stood a tall étagère bearing potted plants in rows that narrowed
-to an apex. Between curtains, carefully drawn, of white lace and green
-rep, one saw a strip of garden brilliantly illuminated with sunlight.
-
-It was in just such a room and in such surroundings that Damier had
-imagined seeing again his old friend, and his mother's friend, Mrs.
-Mostyn. He always associated her with a sprightly conservatism. With a
-genial, yet detached, appreciation of modern taste, she would be
-placidly faithful to the taste of her girlhood. The house, he
-remembered, had been her mother's, and its contents had probably
-remained as they were when her mother's death put her in possession of
-it. He remembered Mrs. Mostyn's caps, her cameos, her rings, her
-bracelet with the plaited hair in it, her jests, too, and her
-gaieties--all with a perfume of potpourri, with a niceness and
-exactitude of simile that had not attempted to keep pace with the
-complexities, the allusiveness and elusiveness, of modern humor.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn had lived for many years in this small country house; she
-had entered it as a childless widow after a life of some color and
-movement, her husband having been a promising diplomat, whose death in
-early middle age had cut short a career that had not yet found an
-opportunity of rising from promise to any large achievement. After his
-death Mrs. Mostyn devoted herself to books, to her garden, her poor
-people, and her friends. Her house was not adapted to a large
-hospitality, but one of these friends was usually with her. Damier,
-however, was only paying a call. He had never visited Mrs. Mostyn; she
-had visited his mother in London, and since his mother had died he had
-been little in England. Now he was staying with the Halbournes, eight
-miles away.
-
-The atmosphere of the room, as he waited, the stillness of the warm,
-fragrant garden outside, combined to make a half-tender, half-melancholy
-mood, in which an impression, quickly felt, is long remembered. Such an
-impression awaited him in the old photograph-album. It had been natural
-to see there his mother's gentle, thoughtful face--first of a
-round-cheeked girl, looking like a Thackeray heroine, and, later, the
-face he knew so well, fatigued, sad, yet smiling under gray hair;
-natural to see his father, with dreaming eyes and the fine head of the
-thinker; to see aunts and uncles, his dead sister, and himself: but it
-was with the half-painful, half-joyous shock of something wholly
-unfamiliar, wholly arresting, strongly significant, that he came upon
-the photograph of an unknown lady. It was a faded carte-de-visite, and
-the small lettering on the cardboard edge spoke of Paris and of some
-bygone photographer. The lady was portrayed in a conventional pose and
-without modern accessories, leaning one arm in its sleeve of flowing
-silk on the back of a high chair, a hand hanging, half hidden, against
-the folds of her silken skirt. She was dressed after the fashion of the
-late sixties, in that of the Second Empire; yet, though her dress spoke
-of France, as the photograph had done, and spoke charmingly, her face
-was not that of a French-woman. One's first impression--not too
-superficial, either--was of a finished little _mondaine;_ but finished,
-poised, serene as she was, she could not be more than twenty--indeed, as
-Damier reflected, youth at that time was not a lengthy epoch, as in
-ours. She was slender, the leaning bust and arm rounded, the hand long.
-Her face was heart-shaped; the dark hair, parted over the forehead and
-drawn up fully from the brows, emphasized the width across the eyes, the
-narrowness of the face below; the lips were firm and delicate. Of her
-eyes one saw chiefly the gaze and the darkness under a sweep of straight
-eyebrow. And Damier had passed at once through these surface impressions
-to an essential one: her head was the most enchanting he had ever seen,
-and her eyes, as they looked at him, had a message for him. Man of the
-modern world as he was, he stood looking back at this dim, enchanting
-face; stood trying to interpret its message over the chasm made by more
-than two decades; stood wondering what she meant to him. He was wrapped
-in this sensation--of a spell woven about him, of an outstretching from
-the past, of something mysterious and urgent--when Mrs. Mostyn came in.
-
-
-
-
-II
-
-
-MRS. MOSTYN had changed little since he had last seen
-her five years ago in London. Her hair, under the laces of her cap, was
-whiter; her rosiness and plumpness--her little hands were especially
-fat--more accentuated: but the gaiety and kindness were the same. As
-much as in the past she entered into all his interests: asked questions
-about his three years at the English embassy in Rome, about his recent
-travels, what he had done, what he intended to do. When all
-reminiscences were over, all plans discussed, and when Mrs. Mostyn had
-sketched for him, with her crisp, nipping definitiveness, the people of
-the neighborhood, Damier, who during all the talk had kept the album in
-his hand, his forefinger between the leaves at the place where the
-enchanted photograph had looked at him, said, opening the book: "I have
-been immersing myself in the past. Is anything so full of its feeling as
-an old photograph-album? _Çà sent le temps_, and I have made a discovery
-there. Who is this?" He held out the opened page to her, and Mrs.
-Mostyn, adjusting her eye-glasses, looked.
-
-"Ah, yes. Is she not charming?"
-
-"She has charmed me. She is wonderful."
-
-"Her story was certainly rather wonderful. And she always charmed me,
-too, though I knew her only slightly, and saw her for only a short time.
-I met her in Paris when I was there with my husband. She was a Miss
-Chanfrey--Clara Chanfrey, a younger branch of the Bectons, you know.
-Clara had come out in London the year before. Lady Chanfrey, an
-ambitious woman, had, I fancy, determined on a brilliant match for her,
-and it seemed about to be realized, for Lord Pemleigh followed them to
-Paris, where Clara's beauty made a furor--she was thought lovelier than
-the Empress. As I remember her there was really no comparison; she was
-far lovelier. I can see her now: one night at the Tuileries--she wore a
-white gauze dress and lilies-of-the-valley in her hair; and at the
-opera, Lord Pemleigh in the box, a hard, impassive man, but he was,
-report said, desperately enamoured; and, again, riding in the Bois in
-the flowing habit of the time. There was an air of serious blitheness
-about her; yet under the blitheness I felt always an eagerness, a
-waiting. She always seemed to be waiting, and to smile and talk _pour
-passer le temps_--to make the something that was coming come more
-quickly. Poor child! it came."
-
-"She married Lord Pemleigh?" Damier asked, as Mrs. Mostyn paused, her
-eyes vague with memories.
-
-"No; don't you remember? He married little Ethel Dunstan--but only after
-years had passed. No; she did an extraordinary thing--a dreadful thing.
-She eloped--ran away with a French artist, a man of no family, no
-fortune. He was introduced to the Chanfreys in Paris, and painted
-Clara's portrait. Very clever it was thought, rather in the style of
-Manet; a full-length portrait--I saw it--of Clara in a white lawn dress
-with a green ribbon around her waist and a green ribbon in her black
-hair, and at her throat an emerald locket. Perhaps his very difference
-charmed her, and the distance that separated his world from hers made
-her unable to see him clearly; he was, too, extremely handsome. No
-explanations are needed of why he fell in love; the wealth and the
-position he hoped through her to attain were sufficient reasons, to say
-nothing of her beauty. At all events, Clara proudly avowed that they
-loved each other. One can only imagine the storm. The Chanfreys took her
-back to England; he followed them; and she ran away with him and married
-him. Her family never forgave her. Her father and mother died without
-ever seeing her again, and she refused the small allowance they offered
-her. Since those days I have heard only vaguely of her, and heard only
-unhappy things. The man, Jules Vicaud, was a talented brute. With her
-all had been glamour, charm, romance, the sense of generous trust; with
-him calculation and selfishness. He treated her abominably when he found
-that he had gained nothing with her; and he was idle, extravagant,
-dissipated. They became terribly poor. It was a sordid, a horrible
-story;--a violet dragged in the mud."
-
-Damier had listened in silence; now, as Mrs. Mostyn handed him back the
-album, and as, once more, the steady gaze met his, "I cannot associate
-her with the gutter," he said, "nor can I understand this violet
-stooping to it. I should have imagined her too fastidious, too
-intelligent, and, if you will, too conventional to be for one moment
-dazzled by a shoddy bohemian."
-
-"Oh," sighed Mrs. Mostyn, "has delicacy ever been a certificate of
-safety? She was fastidious, she was intelligent, she was conventional;
-but she was also idealistic, impulsive, ignorant--far more ignorant than
-a modern girl would be. Her knowledge of any other world than her own
-was so vague that the very carefulness of her breeding made her
-unconscious of its lack in others; differences she would have thought
-significant only of his greatness and her own littleness. She dazzled
-herself more than he dazzled her, perhaps. And he was, then at least,
-more than the shoddy bohemian. He had grace, power,--I well remember
-him,--an apparent indifference to the more petty standards and tests of
-her world that no doubt seemed to her a splendid, courageous
-unworldliness. And then he came at a moment of rebellion, pain, and
-perplexity, as a contrast to the formality, the charmlessness of her
-English suitor. She did not love Lord Pemleigh; her resistance to the
-match had already embittered her relations with her mother--Lady
-Chanfrey was a high-spirited, clever, cynical woman. And then--and
-then--she fell in love with Jules Vicaud; that is, after all, the only
-final explanation of these stories."
-
-"And she ceased to love him?" He seemed now to interpret the gaze more
-fully. Did it not foresee? Did it not entreat--though so proudly?
-
-"Ah, I don't know. All I know is that she stuck to him, and that she was
-miserable. Poor, poor child!" Mrs. Mostyn repeated.
-
-"And is she dead?" he asked after a little pause in which it seemed to
-him that they had thrown flowers on a long-forgotten grave.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn looked out of the window at the summer sky and sunny garden,
-the effort of difficult recollection on her face.
-
-"I really don't know--I really can't remember. So soon afterward my
-husband died; Lady Chanfrey died; I came here to live. I heard from time
-to time of her misfortunes--of her death I don't think I heard; but for
-years now I have heard nothing. How many years ago is it? This is '95,
-and that was--oh, it must have been nearly twenty-eight years ago."
-
-"So that she would be now?"
-
-"She would be forty-seven now. If she is alive the story of her life is
-over."
-
-"I wonder if it is. I wonder if she is alive."
-
-The gaze of the photograph, with all its calm, grew more profound, more
-significant.
-
-"Could you find out?" he asked presently.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn broke into a laugh that, with its cheery common sense, like
-a gay cockcrow announcing dawn, seemed to dispel the hallucinations of
-night, recall the reality of the present, and set them both firmly in
-their own epoch.
-
-"My dear Eustace! What a dabbler in impressions you are! I won't say
-dabbler--seeker-after."
-
-"Not after impressions," said Damier, smiling a little sadly.
-
-"And have you not found anything?" she asked.
-
-"No; I don't think I have."
-
-"Neither a religion, nor a work, nor a woman!" smiled Mrs. Mostyn. "You
-have always reminded me, Eustace, of that introspective Swiss gentleman
-of the journal. You are always seeking something to which you can give
-yourself unreservedly. But my sad little Clara, even if she would have
-meant something to you, came too early. She missed you by--how many
-years?--fifteen at least, Eustace; you were hardly more than a baby when
-that photograph was taken. But she may have had a daughter,--the
-daughter of the bohemian and the mondaine,--and you might find there an
-adventure of the heart."
-
-"Ah, I don't care about a daughter--or about an adventure."
-
-Mrs. Mostyn glanced at his absorbed, delicate face with a smile baffled
-and quizzical. She controlled, however, any humorous queries, and said
-presently:
-
-"Yes, I might try to find out. I might write to Mrs. Gaston; she knows
-Sir Molyneux Chanfrey, Clara's brother,--a man I never liked,--and she
-could ask him."
-
-"Pray do."
-
-"But I don't fancy Sir Molyneux is very easy to approach on the subject.
-He and his sister were never sympathetic."
-
-"I wish you would find out," Damier repeated.
-
-"I will, Eustace, and give you a letter of introduction to her if I ever
-find her," smiled Mrs. Mostyn.
-
-
-
-
-III
-
-
-EUSTACE DAMIER was susceptible and fastidious,
-idealistic and skeptical. He was not weak, for he rarely yielded to his
-impressions; but his strength, since nothing had come into his life that
-called for decisive action, was mainly negative. Perfection haunted him,
-and seen beside that inner standard, most experience was tawdry. He was
-quite incapable of loving what he had if he could not have what he
-loved. The vacancy had once been filled, but since his mother's, his
-sister's death, it had yawned, oppressive, unresponsive, about him. He
-was no cynic, but he was melancholy. He had gone through life
-alternating between ardor and despondency.
-
-He was amused now, amused and yet amazed, by the extraordinary
-impression that the old photograph had made upon him. More than once he
-had drawn back on the verge of a great passion,--drawn back he could
-hardly have said why,--feeling that the woman, or he himself, lacked
-something of the qualities that could make them lastingly need each
-other. And now it really seemed to him that he needed, and would need
-lastingly, this woman of thirty years ago; and surely she needed him.
-She called to him, and he answered. He understood her; he loved her.
-
-It was whimsical, absurd, pathetic. He could smile over it, yet under
-the smile some deeper self seemed to smile another smile--the smile of a
-mystery speaking at last in words that he could not understand, but in a
-voice that he could hear.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn had yielded the photograph to his determined
-claim,--laughing at his impudence,--and he kept it always beside him in
-the weeks that followed his departure from ----shire. During those
-weeks, that lengthened into months, no news came, and the eagerness of
-his feeling died away. The feeling was still there, but it was like an
-awakened and living memory of an old, dead love. He thought of her as
-dead; it was best so, for he could imagine with repulsion the
-degradation that a harried life in the slimier walks of bohemia might
-have wrought in her had she lived. The sense of half-humorous,
-half-tragic pathos remained with him. He smiled at the photograph every
-day. It represented just what a memory, deep and still, would have
-represented. It said to him, "We have found each other. Now we will
-never part." And absurdly, deliciously, he felt--with an instinct that
-fluttered wings high above any net of reason, singing, almost
-invisible--that what he had missed was waiting for him somewhere.
-
- * * * * *
-
-One day in late autumn, when he had returned to London, something
-happened which changed the character of this unsubstantial romance. He
-met at his club another old friend, a contemporary of Mrs. Mostyn's.
-Sir Henry Quarle was a writer of pleasant reminiscences, a garrulous and
-companionable man about town, who had kept careful pace with the times,
-who, indeed, flattered himself that he usually kept a step or two ahead
-of them: he was prophetic as well as reminiscent; had firm opinions and
-facile appreciations.
-
-He and Damier spoke of Mrs. Mostyn,--Sir Henry, too, had seen her
-recently,--of Paris, and of her connection with it. "And by the way,"
-said Sir Henry, "she told me that you were tremendously interested in
-what she told you about Madame Vicaud--Clara Chanfrey that was. Now I
-know a good deal about that unhappy history, and can, indeed, carry it
-on to a further chapter; the first did interest you?"
-
-"Tremendously," Damier assented, feeling, with a beating heart, that
-daylight was about to flood his mystic temple. "Is she alive?" he added.
-
-"That I don't know. But I saw the second chapter at close quarters. I
-went to Vicaud's studio one day. They had been married only a few
-years; she was a mere girl even then. I never saw such wretchedness."
-
-"In what way?" Damier's heart now beat with a strange self-reproach.
-
-"Oh--not describable. It was the evident hiding of misery that one felt
-most, the controlled fear in her face. She was lovelier than ever, but
-white, wasted, her delicate hands worn with work. The place was already
-poverty-stricken, but clean--grimly clean; I have no doubt she scrubbed
-the floor herself. Four or five artists were there--clever, well-known
-men, but not of the best type: the kind of men who wrote brutally
-realistic feuilletons for papers of the baser order, who painted
-pictures _pour épater le bourgeois;_ grossly materialistic, cynically
-skeptical of all that was not so. One felt that, though utterly alien to
-it by taste, she could have adapted herself, in a sense, to the best
-bohemianism. She was broadly intelligent; she would have recognized all
-that was fine, vital, inspiring in it, all that it implies of
-antagonism to the conformist, the bourgeois attitude. But the
-bohemianism of her husband and his comrades could only turn her to ice.
-It was strange to see her fear, and yet her strength, in these
-surroundings. They saw it, too; her chill gentleness, her inflexible
-face, cowed them, made them silly rather than vicious. Only, at that
-time, she had not cowed her husband; at all events, he seemed to take a
-pleasure in showing his mastery over her, his indifference to her
-attitude. He was a genius, with the face of a poet and the soul of a
-satyr. She had charmed him by her unusualness; he had determined to have
-her, to snatch her, the fine, delicate creature, from another world, as
-it were, and to make her part of his experience of life in very much the
-same sense as he would have tried a new kind of sin for the sake of its
-novelty. Then, too, he hoped, of course, for advancement, pecuniary and
-social; the disappointment of that hope must have roused the fiend in
-him. Of course he loved her--if one can turn the word to such base
-uses. What man would not have loved her? He loved her as he might have
-loved one of his mistresses; and I remember that on that day he
-dared--as perhaps he would not have dared had they been alone--to go to
-her before us all, fondle her cheek, and, putting his arm around her,
-kiss her. We all, I think, felt the ugly bravado of it, and I know that
-I never detested a man as I detested him at that moment. She sat
-motionless, expressionless. Only her eyes showed the terror of her
-helplessness, her despair."
-
-"Just heavens!" Damier exclaimed, after a silence filled for him with a
-bewildering aching and despair. "Why did she not leave him?"
-
-"Well," said Sir Henry, looking at the tip of his cigar, and crossing
-his knees for the greater comfort of impersonal reflection, "there was
-the child--they had a child, a girl; I never saw it; and there was her
-pride--she had been cast off by all her people; and there was his need
-of her. A few years after their marriage Vicaud took to absinthe, and
-drank himself half mad from time to time. Her conceptions of the duties
-of marriage, the sacredness of its bond, were, I am sure, very high;
-duty, pity, a hopeless loyalty, kept her to him, no doubt. What she went
-through no one, I suppose, can imagine.
-
-"I saw her once again; I was in Paris for a few days--it must have been
-more than ten years after that first meeting. I met her leading her
-husband in an _allée_ in the Bois. He was a wreck then, his talent gone,
-his noble face a pallid, bloated mask. He leaned on her arm, draped in
-his defiant black cloak. I sha'n't forget them as they walked under the
-October trees. She was changed, immensely changed. Her stately head was
-still beautiful, but with a beauty stony, frozen, as it were. There was
-no longer any touch of fear or softness. When she saw me she smiled with
-all her own gracious courtesy--but graciousness a little exaggerated;
-she had become, I saw, by long opposition to the life about her, almost
-too ineffably the lady. She had to keep, consciously, the perfume of
-life.
-
-"I walked on with them, and, perhaps as a result of my evident wish to
-see more of her, she asked me to go back to dinner with them. I did,
-realizing when I got to their apartment what it must have cost her to
-ask me, and what the pride must be that could do it and seem indifferent
-in the midst of that tawdry, poverty-stricken, vicious existence. Up
-flights of soiled and shabby stairs, in a mean house, to a miserable
-room--its bareness the best thing that could be said of it--at the top
-of the house, overlooking a squalid quarter of Paris. There was a harp
-in one corner, and Madame Vicaud, in answer to my inquiry about her
-music, said that she gave lessons. The young daughter was at school in
-England, and Vicaud's old mother lived with them, a spiteful,
-suspicious-looking bourgeoise with a handsome, flinty eye. Clara Vicaud
-gave her all the quiet deference that she would have given her had she
-been her equal. She had evidently forced from the old woman--forced by
-no effort, but by the mere compulsion of her own unflinching courtesy--a
-sullen respect. Her husband looked at her, spoke to her, with an odd
-mingling of resentment and dependence. He would say constantly, 'Que
-dis-tu, Claire?' But he talked, too, with the evident intention of
-putting her to shame before her English guest,--seeing how she bore
-it,--talked of gallant adventures, of the charms of various females of
-his acquaintance. She sat pale, mild, and cold. It was like seeing mud
-thrown at a statue of the Madonna.
-
-"When she and I talked together after the supper--one could hardly call
-the meal a dinner--she did not make an apologetic reference to the
-ribaldry we had listened to. She did not refer, either, to any of the
-friends she no longer knew. We spoke chiefly of her daughter, and of
-books. The daughter was evidently the one ray of light in her existence;
-she told me about her progress at school, her cleverness, her beauty.
-And next to her daughter, reading and music had been her great
-resources. I was surprised at her scholarship, at her familiarity with
-German philosophy, English poetry, Russian fiction, French and English
-literary and social criticism; indeed, on the subjects of social
-problems, of human suffering and the various remedies, economic and
-ethical, suggested for it, her knowledge was far deeper than my own. But
-in all our talk there was not a note of the personal, the confidential,
-the regretful; she might have been sitting in an environment absolutely
-her own. I never saw her again after that evening. When I was in Paris
-some years later I went to the house, and heard that Monsieur Vicaud and
-his mother had both died there, and that Madame Vicaud, after nursing
-them through their last illnesses, had gone. I have often wondered what
-became of her."
-
-Damier asked no further questions, and the talk drifted away from the
-subject of Madame Vicaud and her misfortunes. But that evening he wrote
-to Mrs. Mostyn, and asked her if she had not yet obtained for him some
-news of his lady of the photograph. The photograph had for him that
-night a new look; it still said, "I need you," but "I need you now. Help
-me." He was convinced that she lived.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn's reply came in a day, and inclosed a letter of introduction
-to Madame Vicaud, Rue B----, Paris. "Sir Molyneux knew nothing of his
-sister's whereabouts," Mrs. Mostyn wrote, "and it was from another
-source that I found out that Clara still lives, and at the inclosed
-address. Do find her, my Don Quixote, and I must make her come and visit
-me."
-
-The inclosed letter asked Madame Vicaud to recall an old friend, and to
-welcome Mr. Damier for her sake and his own. She had only recently had
-news of Madame Vicaud, and so was able, happily, to aid Mr. Damier in
-his great wish to make her acquaintance. She hoped, also, that she might
-see Madame Vicaud in England soon; would she not pay her a visit--a
-long one? It was a long letter, graceful, cordial, affectionate, a rope
-of flowers thrown to Damier for his guidance into the labyrinth.
-
-
-
-
-IV
-
-
-DAMIER, three days afterward, stood in his sitting-room
-in a Paris hotel, looking with a certain astonishment at the small sheet
-of notepaper he held, upon which was written in a firm, flowing hand--a
-hand that seemed, though so gracefully, to contradict any impression of
-a cry for help:
-
- DEAR MR. DAMIER: I shall be very glad to see you to-morrow
- afternoon at four. I well remember Mrs. Mostyn; to hear of her from
- a friend of hers will be a double pleasure.
-
- Yours sincerely,
-
- CLARA VICAUD.
-
-It was like the evocation of a ghost to see this reality, emerged
-suddenly out of the dream-world where, for so long, he had thought of
-her, the young girl leaning on the chair-back in her flowing dress of
-silk. She was alive, and he was to see her that afternoon. Damier felt a
-chill overtake his eagerness. Was he not about to shatter a charming
-experience--one of the sweetest, most tender, most dearly absurd of his
-life? Would he not find in the real, middle-aged Clara Vicaud a hard,
-uninteresting woman? He had a vision of stoutly corseted robustness in
-jetted black cashmere; of a curve of heavy throat under the chin; of
-cold eyes looking with wonder, with suspicion even, upon his romantic
-quest. He could almost have felt it in him to draw back at the eleventh
-hour were he not ashamed to face in himself such cowardice. He took out
-the photograph and looked at it, and the eyes of Clara Chanfrey seemed
-to smile at him with something of tender irony. "Do not be afraid of me;
-I will never disappoint you," they said. After all, what could the mere
-passage of years mean to such a face as that? What could the bitter
-experiences of a sorrowful life hold in them to tarnish ever the spirit
-that looked from it? The reluctance was only superficial, a ripple of
-reaction upon the deep tide of his impulse.
-
-At four that afternoon he drove to a long, narrow street near the
-Boulevard St. Germain--a street of large, bleak houses showing a sort of
-dismantled stateliness. At one of the largest, stateliest, bleakest of
-these the fiacre stopped, and Damier, after asking the way of a grimly
-respectable concierge with a small knitted shawl of black wool folded
-tightly about her shoulders, mounted a wide, uncarpeted stone staircase
-to the highest floor, feeling, as he stood outside the door, that,
-despite the long ascent, the thick beating of his heart was due more to
-emotional than to physical causes.
-
-He rang, and as he stood waiting he heard suddenly within a woman's
-voice singing. The voice was beautiful, and the song was Schumann's "Im
-wunderschönen Monat Mai." Its pathos, its simplicity, its tenderness,
-mingled with Damier's almost tremulous mood, and pierced his very soul.
-It was like an awakening in Paradise; there was the remembered sadness
-of a long, long past; the strange, melancholy rapture of something
-dawning, something unknown and wonderful. Could any music more fitly
-usher in the coming meeting?
-
-A middle-aged servant came to the door, conventual in the demure quiet
-of her dress and demeanor, and ushered Damier into a bare and spacious
-room where the light from scantily curtained windows shone broadly
-across the polished floor. A woman rose and came forward from the piano.
-Damier's first impression, after the breathless moment in which he saw
-that it was not _she_, was one of dazzling beauty.
-
-"I am Mademoiselle Vicaud--Claire Vicaud," this young woman said, "and
-you are Mr. Damier. My mother is expecting you; she will be here
-directly."
-
-Perhaps he felt, as she smiled gravely upon him, it was the power in her
-face, rather than its beauty, that had dazzled him. Already he
-discovered something almost repellent in its enchantment. Her eyes were
-dark, with a still, an impenetrable darkness; a small mole emphasized
-the scarlet curve of her upper lip; the lines of cheek and brow were
-wonderfully beautiful. It was, indefinably, in the soft spreading of the
-nostrils, in the deeply sunk corners of the mouth, that one felt a
-plebeian touch. There was nothing, however, of this quality in the
-carriage of her head, with its heavy tiara of dark-red hair, nor in the
-dignity and grace of her figure; and nothing in her, except some vague
-suggestion in this grace and dignity, reminded him of the photograph;
-and he was at once deeply glad of this, glad that Mademoiselle Vicaud
-resembled her father--he felt sure she did--and not her mother.
-
-She seated herself, indicating to him a chair near her, and observed him
-with the same grave smile, and in an unembarrassed silence, while he
-spoke of his pleasure at being in Paris, at finding them there. Damier
-himself was not unembarrassed; found it difficult to talk trivialities
-to this Hebe while thrilling with expectation; and Mademoiselle Vicaud,
-unable otherwise to interpret it, may well have seen in her own radiant
-apparition the cause of his slight disturbance.
-
-"But you are not old," she said to him.
-
-"Did you expect that?" he inquired.
-
-"Then you are not a friend of Mamma's--a friend of her youth, I mean? I
-don't think that she was quite sure who you were."
-
-"It is only through an old friend of hers that--I hope to become
-another," Damier finished, smiling.
-
-"Well, _pour commencer_, you may be our young friend--we have time, you
-and I, before we need think of being old ones. I get tired of old
-things, myself."
-
-"Even of old friends?" Damier asked, amused at her air of placid
-familiarity.
-
-"Ah, that depends."
-
-He observed that Mademoiselle Vicaud, though speaking English with
-fluent ease, had in her voice and manner some most un-English qualities.
-Her voice was soft, deep, and a little guttural. She had a way, he
-noticed later on, of saying "Ah" when one talked to her, a placid little
-ejaculation that was curiously characteristic and curiously foreign.
-
-But at the moment further observations were arrested. The door opened,
-and rising, as a swift footfall entered the room, Damier found himself
-face to face with his lady of the photograph.
-
-He blushed. His emotion showed itself very evidently on his handsome,
-sensitive face, so evidently that the strangeness of the meeting made
-itself felt as a palpable atmosphere, and made conventional greetings an
-effort and something of an absurdity. Madame Vicaud, however, dared the
-absurdity, and so successfully that the formal sweetness of her smile,
-the vague geniality of her voice, as she said right things to him,
-seemed effortless. Damier, through all the tumult of his hurrying
-impressions, comparisons, wonders, yet found time to feel that she was a
-woman who could make many efforts and seem to make none. Her manner
-slid past the stress of the moment; her wonder, if she felt any, was not
-visible. All that she showed to her sudden visitor, introducing himself
-through a past that must have been long dead to her, was the smile, the
-geniality, vague and formal, of the woman of the world.
-
-By contrast to this atmosphere of rule and reticence, the few words he
-had exchanged with the daughter seemed suddenly intimate--seemed to make
-a bond where the mother's made a barrier. But above all barriers, all
-reticences, was the one fact--the wonderful fact--that she was she,
-changed so much, yet so much the same that the change was only a
-deepening, a subtilizing of her charm.
-
-"Yes, I remember Mrs. Mostyn so well," said Madame Vicaud, "and it is
-many years ago now. She must be old. Does she look old? Is she well?
-Will she come to Paris one day, do you think? Ah, as for my going to
-England to see her, that is a great temptation, a sufficient one were
-the possibility only as great. My daughter has been much in England; she
-really, now, knows it better than I do."
-
-Mademoiselle Vicaud did not meet her mother's glance as it rested upon
-her; her eyes were fixed, with their dark placidity, upon Damier, as she
-sat sidewise in her chair, her hands--they were large, white,
-beautifully formed--loosely interlaced on the chair-back.
-
-"Yes; I know England well," she said--"educational England. I went to
-school there. I associate England with all that is formative and
-improving; I have been run through the mold so many times."
-
-"Run through?" Damier asked, smiling. "Have you never taken the form,
-then?" He was not interested in Mademoiselle Vicaud, although he felt
-intimate with her; but her mother's glance brought her between them,
-placed her there; one was forced to look at her and to talk to her.
-
-"Do you think I have?" Mademoiselle Vicaud asked, with her smile, that
-was not gay, a slumberous, indulgent smile. "I hope not," she added,
-"physically, at least. I don't like your English outline, as far as that
-is concerned." Damier could but observe that hers was not English. She
-was supple, curved--slender, yet robust; one saw her soft breathing; her
-waist bent with a lovely flexibility. But the contemplation of these
-facts, to which she seemed, with the indifference of perfect assurance,
-to draw his attention, emphasized that sense of intimacy in a way that
-rather irritated him; Mademoiselle Vicaud, her outline and her exquisite
-gowning of it, slightly jarred upon him. He hardly knew how to word his
-appreciation of her difference, and after saying that he was glad she
-had escaped the more unbecoming influences of his country, added: "I
-hope that there were some things you cared to adopt."
-
-"They adopted me. I was quite passive, quite fluid," said Mademoiselle
-Vicaud.
-
-Her mother, while they interchanged these slight pleasantries, continued
-to look at her daughter.
-
-"You rather exaggerate, do you not, Claire, the coercive nature of your
-English experience?" she said. "It was not all school; there was play,
-too."
-
-"Play like the kindergarten kind, with a meaning in it. My mother has
-always been anxious for me to take the right impressions," said
-Mademoiselle Vicaud, her eyes still on Damier; "she has always chosen
-them for me."
-
-There was a momentary silence after this--a silence that might, Damier
-fancied, have held something of irritation for the mother, though none
-showed itself in the calm intelligence of her glance as it rested on her
-daughter.
-
-Looking from her before the pause could become significant of anything
-like argument or antagonism, she asked Damier for how long he expected
-to remain in Paris, and the talk floated easily into cheerful and
-familiar channels--concerts, the play, books, and pictures.
-
-She was so much more like the photograph than he had expected, and yet
-so different! The figure was the same, almost girlish, more girlish,
-really, than Mademoiselle Claire's, though the fall in the line of her
-shoulders, the erect poise with which she sat, recalled a girlishness of
-another epoch, another tradition.
-
-There was that in the folds of her long silk skirt,--a worn, shining
-silk, yet in its antiquity replete with elegance,--in the position of
-her narrow foot pointing from beneath its folds, in the way she lightly
-folded her arms while she talked to him, that suggested deportment, a
-manner trained, and as much a part of her as putting on her shoes was.
-She was very mannered and very unaffected; the manner was like the
-graceful garment of her perfect ease and naturalness--their protection,
-perhaps, and their ornament. As for her face, Damier, looking at it
-while they talked, felt its enchantment growing on him, like the gradual
-tuning of exquisite instruments preparing him for perfect music. Still,
-the face of the photograph, so unchanged that it was startling to feel
-how much older it was. The abundant hair was dressed in the same
-fashion, but its black was now of an odd grayness that made one just
-aware that it was no longer black. The heart-shaped oval was emphasized;
-the cheeks were thin, the chin sharply delicate, the lips compressed
-when she did not smile--but she frequently smiled--into a line of
-endurance, of a patience almost bitter. There were tones of pale mauve
-in the faint roses of her lips and cheeks, but Damier felt that this
-charming tint must always have been theirs--went with the snow and ebony
-of her type. Although her face was little lined,--emotion with her had
-been repressed, not demonstrated,--it had a look more aging than
-lines--a look of bleakness, of a cold impassivity. The texture of her
-skin was like a white rose-petal just fading. And in this faded
-whiteness her dark eyes gazed, more stern, more tragic than in youth.
-There was in them, and in the straight line of her black brows above
-them, a somberness and almost a menace. Damier wondered over the strange
-contrast to her frequent smile. He saw that where Mademoiselle Vicaud
-was still and grave her mother was light and gay, but the gaiety and
-lightness--he traced the impression further--were part of the manner,
-the protecting, ornamental manner; were something that had once been
-real, and were now put on, like her shoes, again. The daughter showed
-herself, or seemed to show herself, imperturbably: the mother was
-hidden, masked; her eyes, with their contrasting smile, made him think
-of Tragedy glancing among garlands of roses.
-
-Before he went, that day, Damier told Madame Vicaud that his stay in
-Paris was to be indefinite; had even let her see, if she wished to, that
-she counted among his reasons for staying. He was sure that he was to go
-far, but he knew that he must go with discretion. One thing discretion
-evidently required of him--to include Mademoiselle Claire with her
-mother; her mother constantly included her. It was necessary to invite
-them both to drive in the Bois next day. It was then that he learned
-that Madame Vicaud and her daughter both gave lessons, mademoiselle in
-singing,--she had studied with the best masters,--madame in the harp and
-piano. Damier cast a glance upon the harp; the same, no doubt. Hours of
-engagements had to be consulted. They could both, however, be free next
-day at four.
-
-
-
-
-V
-
-
-DAMIER was able, while waiting for them in the salon on
-the following day, to see more clearly Madame Vicaud's environment, now
-that it was empty of her. It was one of work, poverty, and refinement.
-Books lined one side of the walls; the furniture was of the scantiest,
-simplest description; a row of old prints--after Sir Joshua and
-Gainsborough, some of them very good--were hung straightly above the
-simple writing-table; on this table stood a small pot of pink flowers,
-and on a large table near the center of the room were books, reviews,
-and a work-box; the harp and the grand piano dominated the room. The
-high windows did not overlook the street, but the branches, flecked
-still with gold and russet autumn leaves, of an old garden. Turning
-from this outlook, Damier found his attention fixed by a large
-photograph that occupied a prominent place in a black frame upon a
-sedate cabinet near the window. It was the photograph of a man--of
-Monsieur Vicaud, Damier knew at once. He gazed long at the face, still
-young, yet showing already touches of decay and degradation in the
-poetry and beauty of its youth. Without these touches--of presage more
-than actuality--it might have been the face of a Paolo, with tossed-back
-hair and superb, unfettered throat. Monsieur Vicaud had evidently been
-one of the few men whom a Byronic disarray becomes. Damier saw in the
-face the enchantment that had deluded Clara Chanfrey, and hints of the
-horror that had wrecked all enchantment. The longer one looked at the
-ardent, dreamy eyes, the perfect lips,--helpless, as it were, before
-one, and unable in charm of change to divert one's attention from their
-essential meaning,--the more one felt cruel selfishness, hard
-indifference, and lurking evil. Instinctively he turned and walked away
-from Monsieur Vicaud as he heard footsteps outside.
-
-When the mother and daughter came in together, he could infer, even more
-clearly than from the bareness of the salon, from Madame Vicaud's shabby
-furs and unfashionable wrap, that life, to be kept up at all with
-niceness and finish, must be something of a struggle for them; yet, with
-her small black bonnet, which she was tying with black gauze ribbons
-beneath her chin, her neat gloves, the poise of her shoulders, and her
-swift, light step, she was still unmistakably _une élégante_. It was
-natural, he supposed,--though feeling some resentment at such
-naturalness,--that the struggle should be the mother's mainly; the law
-of maternal self-sacrifice perhaps demanded it. Claire was charmingly
-dressed, simply, and with a Parisienne's unerring sense of harmony and
-fitness. She was neither shabby nor unfashionable; the fashion, too,
-expressed her, not itself.
-
-After all, she still, though she was no longer _une toute jeune
-fille_,--she must be twenty-seven,--had her life before her, and her
-achievement of pretty clothes could hardly be imputed as blame to her.
-
-The early November afternoon in the Bois was misty, with sunlight in the
-mist; the air was mild. Madame Vicaud's dark eyes looked down the long
-vistas, seeing, perhaps, other figures in them, other pictures. Damier
-and Mademoiselle Vicaud talked of Italy. She had never been there, but
-she questioned him about Florence and Rome, and Madame Vicaud asked him
-if he had heard much of the old church music; and the music had been his
-greatest enjoyment. Madame Vicaud was fond of Palestrina, she said; but
-she said little of the fondness, and only listened with a half-detached,
-half-assenting smile while Claire and the young man went on from Gluck
-to Wagner. Mademoiselle Vicaud was full of admiration--though her
-admirations were always unemphatic--for the latter; but Madame Vicaud,
-though retaining, evidently, no lurking survivals of taste for the
-operatic music of her youth, would own only to a tempered liking for the
-great opera-master. She mused lightly over Damier's demand for her
-preferences, and inclined to think that opera never meant much to her;
-it was a form of art that offended her taste almost inevitably; its
-appeal to the eye could so rarely justify itself, and the music, of
-course, was restricted by its being pinned down to definite descriptive
-themes.
-
-Claire hummed out, in a melancholy, emotional contralto, a phrase from
-"Tristan." "I can't sing him--none of our French throats can; but he
-fills me, sweeps me up; that is all I ask of music. Mamma likes music to
-lift her; I like it to carry me away." Among the deep, almost purple
-reds of her hair, the tawny luster of her coiling furs, her cheeks, in
-the keen, fresh air, glowed dimly. "No, I could not sing Wagner," she
-sighed; "but I could sing. I am an _artiste manquée_; the one, perhaps,
-for being my father's daughter, the other for being my mother's. She
-would rather have me teach--try to force a little of my own energy and
-feeling into dough-like souls--than have me sing in public."
-Mademoiselle Vicaud's smile had no rancor as she made these statements,
-and her mother's distant gaze showed no change, nor did she speak.
-
-"It is a hard and a rather tawdry life, that of an opera-singer," said
-Damier; "and, I fancy, almost an impossible one in Paris."
-
-"Ah, but I am tawdry," Claire observed. If antagonism there had ever
-been on this subject, it had evidently long since left behind it the
-stage of discussion. Claire made no appeal or protest--merely stated
-facts.
-
-"You see," she went on, very much as if she and Damier were alone
-together, "if it were not for that artist nature, Mamma would not,
-perhaps, mind so much. It is because I am not--what shall we call
-it?--respectable? _hein_?--well, that will serve--that she dreads such
-tests for me."
-
-Damier now saw that, though Madame Vicaud's silence kept all its calm,
-she very slightly flushed. He felt in her a something, proud and
-shrinking, that steeled itself to hear the jarring note of her
-daughter's jest; and was it a jest? Again the contrast in the two faces
-struck him, this time with something of fundamental alienation in the
-contrast. It occupied his mind after Madame Vicaud, very unemphatically,
-not at all as if she felt that it needed turning, took the lead of the
-conversation, and while Claire, leaning back in her corner, listened
-with, when she was particularly addressed, her indolent "Ah!" It was,
-indeed, like going from one world to another to look from her mother's
-face to hers. Already he felt for her a mingling of irritation and pity
-that was to grow as he knew her better.
-
-How strangely she was tainted with something really almost _canaille_;
-the soft depth of her voice reeked with it. And how strangely blind must
-the affection of the mother be that could bridge the chasm that
-separated her from her daughter, unconscious--her evident devotion to
-her proved that--of its very existence.
-
-
-
-
-VI
-
-
-MADAME and Mademoiselle Vicaud were at home on Tuesdays,
-and Damier felt that he would always receive a courteously cordial
-welcome on these formal occasions; but he felt, too, for some weeks,
-that the courtesy, the pleasant graciousness of his reception, did not
-grow in warmth. He was accepted, but no more. Madame Vicaud treated him
-as she might have treated him had he been but one habitué of a crowded
-salon. Her salon was anything but crowded; he soon had numbered its
-habitués. There was a monotony about these Tuesday reunions; they were
-rather thin and colorless; thin only in quantity, not in quality, for
-that was excellent--reminded him of Madame Vicaud's black silk dresses
-with their white lawn cuffs and collars, a quality worn but
-irreproachable. Damier came to find a flavor, an unusualness, in the
-cool cheerfulness of the Tuesday teas.
-
-The salon in the Rue B---- on these occasions had some vases of flowers,
-and the tea, brought in by the monastic Angélique, boasted bread and
-butter and _madeleines_ as well as the daily _petits beurres_ that
-Damier had been offered on a more informal visit.
-
-To the teas came old Madame Dépressier, who was of an impoverished
-Huguenot family, and who spent her time in works of charity, a serene
-woman with a large white face--a woman, Damier found on talking to her,
-of character and learning. She and Madame Vicaud talked of books,
-lectures, and poor people, and smiled much together. Madame Crécy came
-also, dignified, middle-aged, interested in _le mouvement féministe_, a
-writer of essays, dark, decisive, a charm in her bright ugliness. There
-was a dim, devout, and gentle old Comtesse de Comprailles. She had
-known Madame Vicaud for years, from before her marriage, and her piety
-had lifted her above the realization of the secular troubles of her
-friend, and had, indeed, kept their relation a softly superficial one.
-With the comtesse came sometimes a tall, thin priest, her cousin, also
-dim, devout, and gentle in these social relations with heretics.
-
-There was a young Polish art-student, a girl with a thin, ardent face,
-and an attire manlike from its deficiency of adornment rather than from
-any pose. She wore very short cloth skirts,--shortened by several years
-of wear and mending, our acutely sympathetic young man guessed,--a
-knotted handkerchief around her throat, and a soft felt hat. To this
-young woman, who, Damier heard, had great talent and was miserably poor,
-Madame Vicaud showed a peculiar tenderness. Sophie Labrinska had a look
-at once weary and keen. She seldom spoke, but her face lighted up with a
-smile for her hostess, and on Tuesdays she always played to them--and
-played with an ungirl-like mastery and beauty of interpretation--a
-ballade, nocturne, or mazurka of Chopin.
-
-Lady Vibert and her daughter came too. They lived in a tiny flat near
-the Bois, finding poverty in Paris more genial and resourceful than in
-England. Miss Vibert, a fresh-colored young woman with prominent teeth,
-studied art also, and for years had gone daily to a studio from which,
-each week, she brought back to the tiny flat a life-size torso, very
-neatly painted. She and her mother were cheerful, eager people, taking
-their Paris, their _abonnement_ at the Théâtre Français,--a rite they
-religiously fulfilled,--their bi-weekly lecture at the Ecole de France,
-with a pleasant seriousness. Madame Vicaud lifted her eyebrows and
-smiled a little, though very kindly, over Miss Vibert's artistic
-progress; but she was fond of her.
-
-As for Claire, she showed little fondness, with one exception, for any
-of her mother's guests. Miss Vibert talked to her in clear, high tones,
-but Claire spoke little to her, and only answered with her most
-slumberous smiles. For Sophie she had neither smiles nor words. She
-ignored her--but not with an effect of intentional ignoring; it was
-merely that the little Polish girl made no advances, and unless she were
-advanced to, Claire, in her mother's salon, maintained an air of
-indolent detachment--except for one member of it, the only one who could
-be said to recall, definitely, what there was of bohemia in Madame
-Vicaud's past. Monsieur Claude Daunay did no more than recall it, for
-his bohemianism was of a most tempered quality, consisting in a kindly
-indifference to smallnesses, a half-humorous choice of the
-unconventional rather than an ignorant imprisonment in it. He was a man
-of about fifty, and his massive gray head, Jovian hair and beard, his
-kindly, wearied eyes and stooping yet stalwart figure, made him a
-distinguished apparition at Madame Vicaud's teas. She placed him,
-sketched him for Damier in a few words, the most open that her reserve
-had yet allowed her, and it was then only after a good many Tuesdays:
-"He knew my husband, and was very kind to him, and to me, when we were
-in need of kindness. He has no genius,--he, too, is a painter, you
-know,--but a vast appreciation, and a vast generosity in the expression
-of it, and much distinction of mind and talent."
-
-Monsieur Daunay was married, but his marriage was an unfortunate one.
-Madame Daunay had been the reverse of a model wife; she lived, an
-invalid, a life of retirement in the country, and was supposed to make
-much bitterness in the existence of her husband, who had his home with a
-_vieille fille_ cousin in Paris. Damier liked the scholarly artist, his
-mild smile and air of weary unexpectancy.
-
-It was with Monsieur Daunay that Claire was her most vivid self, with
-him and with their new "young" friend--though, when Monsieur Daunay was
-present, Damier's relegation to the background bespoke an excellent
-loyalty to older ties. There was something very nearly filial in her
-graceful and affectionate solicitude for Monsieur Daunay. She would
-sweep, in trailing gowns, always a little over-perfumed,--it was the
-point where her taste seemed to fail her,--and always late, into the
-salon, and, if Monsieur Daunay were there, go at once to him after a
-formal acknowledgment of the other presences in the room. She did not
-talk much with him,--she talked more to Damier,--but while he talked to
-her she smiled at him, an encouraging, responsive smile.
-
-Monsieur Daunay spoke to Damier of Madame Vicaud as _une âme exquise_,
-and of Claire as _une charmante enfant_, a term emphasizing his almost
-paternal attitude, an emphasis made more noticeable by his more formal
-relations with the mother. Damier saw that he was very fond of Claire,
-but that between him and Madame Vicaud there were no bonds closer than
-a courteous understanding and regard. On Tuesday, after tea and talk,
-music would be brought out, candles lighted at the piano, Claire would
-sing while Monsieur Daunay accompanied her on the piano or her mother on
-the harp, Sophie would play her Polish music, and Monsieur Daunay and
-Madame Vicaud give a solo each or a duet. There was not a trace of the
-amateur in these performances; the pleasure was great, and, for Damier,
-the charm too deep for analysis, in this listening with her, or to her,
-in the quiet room, among these quiet, subdued, rather sad people.
-
-He was still, in a sense, outside the barrier, but they all were, he
-fancied, in the sense he meant. These Tuesdays were the nearest, really,
-that any of them ever came to her. Yet they were more definitely
-accepted as friends: he was still the onlooker.
-
-It was only humorously that he resented his slow advance to a more
-individual standing. He could hardly himself measure it; and yet he
-felt that he was being observed, weighed, thought over, and, almost
-imperceptibly, that her smile for him gained in meaning.
-
-
-
-
-VII
-
-
-IT was through a book they spoke of, a book which he
-said he would bring to her, that they came at last face to face, and,
-for the first time really, alone together. He found her in the firelit
-room; her last pupil had gone, and she was sitting before her harp, her
-hands in her lap, her eyes looking vaguely in front of her. There had
-been a fall of snow, and the chill February afternoon outside was
-desolate in its white and gray and black. Within there was the serenity,
-the flicker of firelight, Madame Vicaud, and her silent harp.
-
-She turned her head with her smile of welcome, and, as he drew a chair
-near hers, lightly touched a harp-string. The throb of the vibrant note
-echoed in the young man's heart. For the first time, after a winter of
-patient waiting, he was alone with his mystery, alone with the woman he
-adored; for that he adored this cold, sweet, faded woman, with her
-fragrant life blossoming on its black background, was as much a fact of
-his existence as that he had seen her photograph on that distant sunny
-day.
-
-"My work is over," she said. "I am feeling indolent. Ah, you have
-brought the book; thank you. Will you read it now to me--a little?" She
-leaned back, smiling still; her eyes, he felt, studying him more openly,
-yet more kindly, than ever before. "Will you ring for the candles then,
-or would you rather sit on for a little while in this blindman's
-holiday?"
-
-"I would rather sit on, and have you play to me, if you are not too
-tired."
-
-"I am tired of teaching--of listening, not of playing." She at once
-adjusted her foot, stretched her arms, bending to the instrument, and
-played an old and plaintive melody.
-
-"Exquisite," said Damier, when it ended. "It is so staid in form, yet so
-melancholy in feeling."
-
-"Yes; like the melancholy of a sad heart, whispering its sorrow to
-itself under the lace and brocade of a long-dead epoch." She went on to
-a joyous little pastoral, and said, smiling at him, that that was like a
-bank of primroses; and, after the next, "And that all innocent solemnity
-and sweetness, like a nun's prayer." And when she had finished they sat
-in silence for some time.
-
-"Have you always played?" he asked her at last, seeing her suddenly as a
-young girl in a white dress, with a green ribbon around her waist, an
-emerald locket at her throat, sitting at her harp.
-
-"Always; I learned when I was a child." The unspoken sadness of the past
-seemed to steal about them; he seemed to hear the "sad heart whispering
-to itself" as they sat there in the firelight.
-
-"I have often thought," Madame Vicaud said, turning suddenly toward him
-and smiling with a touch of constraint, "that it was very nice of you to
-seek us out like this. I have often wanted to speak to you about it. For
-it was you rather than Mrs. Mostyn who sought, was it not? What made you
-think of it?" she asked, her smile growing in sweetness as his eyes
-dwelt on hers.
-
-"It was a very romantic reason," Damier said; "or, no, I won't belittle
-my reason by that trivial term; it was a very serious reason, rather, a
-very real one. I saw your photograph in an album belonging to Mrs.
-Mostyn, and then I wanted to see you."
-
-She looked at him in silence.
-
-"How very strange!" she presently said. "Wanted enough for that?"
-
-"To seek you? Quite enough; more." He smiled. "Yes, it was strange--is
-strange. I did not know whether you were alive or dead, nor did Mrs.
-Mostyn."
-
-"And you set out in quest of me?"
-
-"Yes, after a time. At first Mrs. Mostyn could hear nothing of you. I
-met another old acquaintance of yours--Sir Henry Quarle. He talked to
-me about you, too, and immediately afterward I got your address from
-Mrs. Mostyn and her letter to you. Then I set out at once."
-
-Madame Vicaud looked at him with a grave, speculating look for some
-silent moments, before saying, turning her eyes away and once more
-showing constraint in her voice:
-
-"You heard that I had been unfortunate--unhappy? You were sorry for
-that?"
-
-"Yes; but had you been very fortunate, very happy, I should still have
-looked for you."
-
-"But why? Did you like my face so much?"
-
-"So much. I felt that I should have known you long ago, and that, having
-missed you for so long through the stupid accident of the years, I must
-know you always in the future. I should have felt it had you been dead."
-His charming eyes dwelling on her with a perfect candor and simplicity,
-for it was easy at last to speak these familiar thoughts to her, he
-added: "I needed you; I had always needed you. And so, it seemed to me,
-you needed me; your eyes in the photograph called to me."
-
-At this she looked swiftly at him with an astonishment that slowly
-softened to a smile. "You are a strange, a good friend," she said.
-
-"You accept me as such?"
-
-"Ah, yes," she replied, "I accept you as such--gratefully. I don't call
-you. Those days are over."
-
-She rose, pushing the harp aside, and walked slowly down the room,
-pausing at the window and looking out. He divined that she was much
-touched, even that there were tears in her eyes. He feared to show her
-the depths of his feeling for her, his longing to enter her life, help
-her, if it might be, in it; but, rising too, he said in a slightly
-trembling voice: "You don't need my friendship, but I need yours. Let
-that be my claim."
-
-"Your claim to what?" she asked, her face still turned from him.
-
-"To the hope that I may grow into your confidence--the hope that you
-will lean on me, trust me completely, and that, with time, I may,
-perhaps, mean something to you of what you mean to me."
-
-Her face now, as she looked at him, showed a curious, a vivid look of
-wonder, humor, tenderness, and sadness.
-
-"What am I, that I should mean so much to you? You don't know me."
-
-"Is that your kind way of intimating that I can mean nothing to
-you--that you don't know me?" he smiled.
-
-"Ah, don't think that I am so hard and stupid!" she said quickly. "Don't
-think that I am fencing with you, trying to ward off a friendship I
-can't appreciate. Don't think that I have no need of a friend. I have; I
-have--only I had forgotten to feel it. I do not say that I have no
-friends; you know that I have, and good ones--only you do not wish to
-rank with them. Isn't it so?" She smiled swiftly, from her gravity, at
-him. "There is good Madame Dépressier, and the comtesse, and little
-Sophie,--who needs me, poor child, in her struggle and loneliness,--and
-the others, true and good all; but none near. You would be near,--would
-you not?--and have me share pain with you--lean on you, you say." His
-fine young face, stern with eagerness, followed her words in silent
-assent. "But it would be difficult for me to have such a friend. I have
-never had such a friend. It is difficult, painful to me to show myself,
-be myself. I am a hard, I fear a spoiled, stunted nature. You heard--of
-course you must have heard; it is the one thing that anybody must hear
-who hears at all of me--that my marriage was very unhappy. It warped me;
-it froze me. There was no one to help me when I needed help, or to hear
-me, even had I not been too proud to call, and I lost the power of
-appeal or self-expression. If I had been gentler, less bitter in my
-despair, less rebellious, I might have kept more in touch with life,
-been more natural, more responsive. As it is, I can still feel--deeply,
-deeply; but it is hard for me to respond. I am old enough to be your
-mother. No? Well, almost." She smiled slightly at his exactitude. "I am
-very different from the girl in the photograph whose eyes called to
-you--prophetic eyes they must have been! You must not expect fine things
-of me; you must not idealize me." She put her hand gently, maternally on
-his shoulder. "Never idealize me. That is a dangerous--a terrible thing
-to do."
-
-"Can you look at me," he asked, putting his hand on hers--"can you look
-at me and think that I could idealize you?--see you as anything else
-than you are? Don't you feel that, indeed, I can see you much more
-clearly than you see yourself--the girl in the photograph, and the woman
-old enough, almost old enough, to be my mother? You are shut into your
-present. I see you in it--and in all your past."
-
-She stood looking gravely into his eyes as he looked into hers. In hers
-there was--not seen by him and hardly felt by herself--a swiftly
-passing, an immense regret, an immense sadness. It was like the sweeping
-shadow of a flying wing, and left only the limpidity of sweetest, most
-candid acquiescence. In his eyes, too, there was regret--passionate
-regret; and he felt it, and felt that she could not understand or read
-it, nor the vague, strong hope that so strangely informed it.
-
-"So I have a friend, a new yet an old friend," said Madame Vicaud. "You
-perplex me, but I believe in all you say. You give me great happiness."
-
-He lifted the hand under his and bent his lips to it. She looked down at
-his bowed head with a smile that was a benediction.
-
-On that first day of their friendship, as they sat together, she again
-before her harp, it was, oddly, he who leaned and confided. Almost
-boyishly, under her comprehending eyes, he unfolded for her his life,
-its deepest efforts and its deepest disappointments. Madame Vicaud,
-while he talked and she questioned, drew her fingers softly, from time
-to time, across her harp-strings. He never forgot the hour, nor the
-sense of communion that the silvery ripple of the harp-strings made
-paradisiacal.
-
-"And will you not marry? Have you not thought of marrying?" she asked.
-
-He considered her with what he knew to be a whimsical smile at her
-unconsciousness.
-
-"I have been too great a coward ever to get further than thinking of it.
-My love-affairs have rarely passed the speculative stage. My ideals of
-marriage are of a most exacting nature."
-
-"Ah, that is well," she said. "Never lower them to fit some reality
-that, for the moment, appeals. I hope," she added, "that you will some
-day find the woman who realizes them."
-
-No, the silly accident oi the years too much blinded her, Damier felt,
-for her to see, yet, that she was the woman. He himself was too much
-dazzled to see beyond the fact itself. Any question of love or marriage
-seemed irrelevant, did not enter at all into this wonderful and happy
-place where her harp rippled, her eyes smiled, where she understood that
-he had found her.
-
-
-
-
-VIII
-
-
-AFTER this there was no more the feeling of a barrier.
-It was gone; and with perfect graciousness and trust she admitted him to
-the personal standing and nearness he had asked for. She was all
-confidence now, although she made no confidences. He felt that her trust
-in him hid nothing from him, and yet that her pride made her past
-sorrows so poignantly intimate that they must be understood between her
-friend and herself, not spoken of.
-
-The nearer intimacy with the mother did not bring Damier into nearer
-intimacy with the daughter, for the simple reason that he was already so
-intimate. From the first Damier had felt that he understood Claire
-Vicaud. He could not yet clearly define what he understood, but she
-could have no revelations for him. Her father explained her, and her
-mother reclaimed her. That was her history, and he imagined that neither
-she nor her mother was aware of the history, but the mother less than
-she. Indeed, he fancied, at times, that he saw her far more clearly than
-did the mother--hoped that the mother had not his direct vision.
-
-He was rather fond of Claire, with a fondness tolerant, humorous, and
-pitying. What he saw in her were thwarted energies, well thwarted, yet
-pathetic in their enforced composure; he saw voiceless rebellion, and
-the dumb discomfort of a creature reared in an environment not its own.
-This simile might have cast a reproach upon the mother had it conjured
-up the vision of an unkindly caged pantheress; but the simile so seen
-was too poetical for Claire. It was not the wild, fine, free thing of
-nature that circumstance had caged, but the product of over-civilized
-senses--senses only, and corrupt senses. There was the point that made
-her piteous and repellent.
-
-Claire's claim on life was not a high one. Hers was not even an esthetic
-fastidiousness of sense nor a romantic coloring of emotion; there was
-nothing delicate or warm or eager about her. Her wishes were not
-yearnings; they were steadfast inclinations toward all the evident, the
-palpable, perhaps the baser pleasures of life, pleasures that would most
-certainly have been hers had not fate--in the shape of a mother to whom
-these pleasures were non-existent rather than despicable--lifted her
-above the possible grasp at them: jewels, clothes, magnificent
-establishments, riotous living. She was cold, but she would welcome
-passively the warmth of admiration about her. She had not her father's
-genius to transmute the tawdry cravings of her inheritance from him. She
-had his quick, clear intelligence, and it seemed only to make harder,
-more decisive, her centering in self.
-
-Damier could see her as the painted prima donna (never as the sincere
-and serious artist), bowing her languorous triumph before the curtain;
-could see her laughing in ugly mirth at Gallic jests among a crowd of
-clever _rapins_; could horribly image her--most horribly when one
-remembered who was her mother--rolling in a lightly swung carriage down
-the Avenue des Acacias, a modern Cleopatra in her barge, alluring in
-indifference under her parasol, and dressed with the consummate and
-conscious art that does not flower in the sound soil of respectability.
-These were, indeed, horrid thoughts, and as absurd as horrid when the
-mother stood beside them. Even to think them seemed to put a dagger into
-a heart already many times stabbed. Yet separate mother and
-daughter,--it was ominously easy so to separate them,--and nothing in
-Claire reproached and contradicted such images. Inevitably they arose,
-and, as inevitably, the companion picture of the mother, like a
-transfixed Mater Dolorosa.
-
-To the mother he felt that in giving interest and attention to Claire
-he rendered a service more grateful to her than any homage. He proposed
-that he should take Claire for walks sometimes, and he felt something of
-the staidness of the girl's upbringing in Madame Vicaud's acquiescence,
-in its implied trust--a trust that waived a custom in his favor. It
-expressed the mother's attitude against all that was lax or undignified
-in life. Claire could go with him, their friend, but, Claire told him
-with a light laugh, she seldom went out alone. "Only sometimes with
-Monsieur Daunay--but he is like a father, almost; and to the
-dressmaker's; and almost always Mamma is with me--we are such
-companions, you know." Damier could not quite determine as to possible
-irony in her placid tones. He looked upon these walks with Claire--they
-would cross the Seine, looking up at Carpeaux's jocund group on the
-Pavillon de Flore, and pace sedately in the Tuileries Gardens or up the
-Champs-Elysées--as expressions of his identification of himself with
-Madame Vicaud's interests, for he always felt that it pleased her that
-he should ask Claire to go; yet, after each one of them, he could not
-defend himself from the strange sensation that he had been in an
-atmosphere disloyal to his friend. The atmosphere was so different, yet
-so subtly different, when Claire was alone with him, or with him and her
-mother. So subtle was the difference that any remonstrance on his part
-might constitute a stupid rebuff to her unconsciousness; yet so
-different were her tones, her look, her laugh, so different the quality
-of her frankness, its _gaillardise_, as it were, and its familiarity,
-almost insolent in its assurance--so different were all these that he
-could hardly believe her unconscious of the change. He did understand
-her; that was the trouble: for she acted as if he did, and as if all
-pretenses were unnecessary between them, and free breathing a relief to
-both after a burdensome atmosphere. Damier, while they walked, showed a
-grave kindliness, listened to her, assented or dissented with a careful
-accuracy that amused himself. He was not quite sure why, with Claire, he
-seldom felt it safe to be flexible or flippant; some dim instinct of
-self-protection before this embryotic soul and quick intelligence made
-him guard himself against all misinterpretations, made him scrupulous in
-defining the differences between them. Claire referred little to her
-mother, and then, at least in the beginnings of their intercourse, in
-the tones of commonplace respect, with something of the effect, he more
-and more realized, of shuffling aside an excellence that they both took
-for granted but hardly cared to linger over--she certainly did not,
-though he might have odd, pretty tastes for the past and done with.
-
-What to him was poetry--for, to a certain extent, she seemed to
-appreciate his attitude toward her mother--was to her the mere furniture
-of life. Damier resented, but for some time was helpless; she gave him
-no occasion for declaration or defense. Once or twice, when, _à propos
-de bottes_, as far as actual comment was required, he seriously spoke of
-his deep admiration for her mother, Claire listened with a
-_cela-va-sans-dire_ expression vastly baffling. Only by degrees, and
-only after some definite sharpnesses on his side, did she seem to
-realize that, in including him in her own casual attitude toward her
-mother, she not only misinterpreted but irritated and antagonized him.
-After that realization she never so offended again. Indeed, with an air
-of honoring his fantastic sensitiveness, yet with gravity, as if to show
-him that she, too, could appreciate moral charm, the pathos of defeat
-and finality, she often alluded to her mother's fine and gracious
-qualities; but, in spite of this concession, Damier was still aware of
-the indefinable difference that made the atmosphere seem disloyal.
-
-She said one day: "You have really decided to live in Paris--for ever
-and ever--_hein_? Is it we you are studying? Do you find us
-interesting?"
-
-"Very," replied Damier.
-
-"But the world is full of so many more interesting people," said Claire,
-"than two ladies, one almost old and one rapidly leaving her youth
-behind her, who live the narrowest of lives and give lessons to make
-butter for their bread."
-
-"I have not met many more interesting."
-
-"Then it is--to study us?" Her sleepy smile was upon him.
-
-Damier had certainly no intention of confiding in Claire the reasons for
-his stay in Paris, feeling suddenly, indeed, that the young woman
-herself formed a rather serious problem in all practical considerations
-of these reasons; yet the attitude implied in her question demanded a
-negative. "No, it isn't because I am studying you; it is because I am
-fond of you," he said, bringing out the words with a touch of
-awkwardness, feeling their simplicity to be almost crude.
-
-Claire was reflectively silent for some moments, observing his face, he
-knew, though he was not looking at her.
-
-"_Vous êtes un original_," she said at last, with quite the manner of
-her race when abandoning, as impenetrable to rational probes, some
-specimen of British eccentricity.
-
-On another day a little incident occurred, slight, yet destined to
-impress Damier with a deeper sense of Claire's unsoundness. They were
-walking down the Champs-Elysées, in the windy brightness of a March
-afternoon, when, in the distance, near the Rond Point, they discerned
-the easily recognizable figure of Monsieur Daunay. Claire, as this old
-friend appeared upon the field of vision, put her hand in Damier's arm
-and, drawing him toward one of the smaller streets that slope down to
-the spacious avenue, said, smiling unemphatically: "Don't let us meet
-him."
-
-"Why not?" Damier inquired, surprised, and conscious in his surprise of
-a quick hostility to Claire and to her smiling look of dexterous
-evasion.
-
-"He hasn't seen us--come," she insisted, though the insistence was still
-veiled in humor.
-
-"Why should he not see us? I shall be glad to see him."
-
-Her eyes measured Monsieur Daunay's distance before she said, with
-something of impatience at his slowness of comprehension: "He will be
-shocked--think it improper--our walking out alone like this." Damier
-stared at her, stolidly resistant to the soft pull of her hand.
-
-"Improper? Your mother consenting--you an Englishwoman, I an
-Englishman?"
-
-"He is a Frenchman, and I am half French; you seem to forget that, both
-you and Mamma, at times." If she was irritated with him she successfully
-controlled her irritation, and Monsieur Daunay was so near that flight
-before his misinterpretation was impossible. She evidently resigned
-herself to the situation of Damier's making--let him feel, with a shrug
-of her shoulders, that it was of his making indeed, but, by a
-half-indifferent, half-ironic smile, that he was forgiven; he must be
-strong enough for both of them, the smile said.
-
-Monsieur Daunay approached, doffing his hat, and Damier at once
-perceived that there was certainly in his eye a cogitation very
-courteous, but altogether out of keeping, he thought, with the
-importance of its cause. He himself felt absent-minded, his thoughts
-engaged more with the analysis of the new and disagreeable sensation
-Claire had given him than with the sensations she might have given
-Monsieur Daunay. He replied somewhat vaguely to Monsieur Daunay's
-salutations, and, not so vaguely, heard Claire saying, "Mamma has sent
-us out for a walk."
-
-"Fine weather for walking," Monsieur Daunay replied, looking away from
-the young woman up at the vivid spring sky and round at the expansive
-day, all wind, sunlight, and sauntering groups of people.
-
-"You often walk here?" he continued pleasantly.
-
-"Not so often; I am too hard worked to get a frequent holiday: but Mr.
-Damier takes us out sometimes."
-
-"Madame Vicaud is at home?"
-
-"Yes; she has pupils, or she would have been with us."
-
-"She is well, I trust?"
-
-"Very well. We shall see you at tea to-morrow?" Claire laid a gently
-urgent hand upon his arm. "I have been practising the Gluck. I think you
-will be pleased with it. You will come?"
-
-"With great pleasure, as always," said the Frenchman, but still with
-something of unwonted gravity beneath his apparent ease.
-
-They parted, and Claire and Damier walked on.
-
-"He was shocked," said Claire, mildly.
-
-Monsieur Daunay might or might not be shocked, but Damier felt that he
-himself was, more so than he could quite account for. He fixed upon that
-wholly unnecessary half-untruth of hers; he could not let it pass.
-
-"We have often come here; your mother has only once come with us," he
-said, with the effect of cold shyness that his displeasure usually took;
-it always required an effort of distinct courage on Eustace Damier's
-part to express displeasure.
-
-"There was no necessity for him to know that," she returned, adding,
-with a laugh: "Now I have shocked both of you--he in his _convenances_,
-you in your English veracity. I don't mind fibbing in the least, I must
-tell you."
-
-"Don't you?" His displeasure was now determined to show its definite
-coolness.
-
-"Not in the least," said Claire, with perfect good humor, "in myself or
-in others"; and she added, with a little laugh at herself, "unless other
-people's fibs interfere with mine; but I think that I mind their fibs
-interfering less than their truths."
-
-Damier resigned himself to feeling that, after all, he was thoroughly
-prepared for any such developments in Claire; it was the tragedy in the
-thought of the other Clara that was knocking at his heart.
-
-
-
-
-IX
-
-
-THE arrival in Paris, where she was to pass some months,
-of a friend of Damier's, Lady Surfex, a charming, capable woman whose
-husband was his nearest friend, was the means of casting a further and
-still more lurid light upon Claire's character and Madame Vicaud's past.
-
-Damier wished to bring Madame Vicaud and Lady Surfex together. He had
-plans, and was vastly amused to realize that they were of a quite
-paternal character. These plans did not go beyond the thought that a
-widening of Claire's life might be an excellent thing for her, and, as a
-result, a happy thing for her mother. To see Claire well, safely,
-happily married, would not this be the lifting of a problem from the
-mother's heart? As yet he had not gone further and told himself that it
-would leave the mother's heart freer for the contemplation of other
-problems. Now Claire's chances of a prosperous marriage would certainly
-be multiplied if he could bring around her and her mother a few such
-friends as Lady Surfex. He spoke to her, on his first visit to her, of
-the Vicauds, and of his wish that they might meet. "The charming Clara
-Chanfrey!" Lady Surfex said. (With what a chime all allusions to Clara
-Chanfrey always began, to end with such funereal tolling!) "Ah, you make
-me feel how old I am becoming, for how often in my girlhood I heard my
-mother speak of her! She always spoke severely. Mother belonged to the
-old régime, you know--saw things steadily, and saw them whole, perhaps,
-but rather narrowly, and only one thing at a time. She couldn't take in,
-as it were, the extenuations of circumstance. And she was a great friend
-of Lady Chanfrey's. Lady Chanfrey infected all her allies with her own
-bitterness. But the memory of the daughter's charm came through it. She
-was like her father, not like her mother. I never liked the little I
-remember of Lady Chanfrey. But I have heard of Madame Vicaud since I
-used to hear of her from mother, and, I am sorry to say, more and more
-sadly."
-
-"All I hear of her is sad," said Damier. "Every echo from her past is a
-groan!"
-
-"Poor woman!" Lady Surfex mused. "First the awful husband, and then the,
-to say the least of it, trying daughter."
-
-Damier's heart stiffened. "Trying? In what way--I may ask?"
-
-"Of course you may--you know them so well; and, as I see, your sympathy
-is all with the mother. Well, I am afraid she is altogether trying, but
-the instance of which I was thinking deserves a severer adjective. Some
-friends of mine in Cheshire, nice, quiet people, had always kept more or
-less in touch with Madame Vicaud during her stormy life. They did not
-meet, but they sometimes wrote. Mrs. Barnett and she had been friends
-in girlhood. Claire, when she grew up, went to stay with them. Very
-beautiful, very clever, singing wonderfully, yet, from the beginning,
-she struck a false note. And then there was the ugly little story: a
-young man, Captain Dauncey, fell madly in love with her; they were
-engaged; and, within hardly a month's time, she jilted him openly and
-brazenly for a better match. That was only the beginning. Sir Everard
-Comber was madly in love, too, but Mrs. Barnett told me that they felt
-that he knew there was no good metal under her glamour; the glamour was
-so great that he hoodwinked himself. It was tragic to see him trying not
-to see. And one day he and Mrs. Barnett found Mademoiselle Vicaud
-engaged in a flirtation in an arbor, indolently allowing an adoring
-young man to kiss her hand, his arm around her waist. Mrs. Barnett said
-that it was the most unpleasant of situations--poor Sir Everard's face,
-the girl's look of dismay, followed by an instant assumption of
-coolness. She was able, almost at once, to show a humorous, half-vexed,
-half-tolerant smile, and to pretend that she expected them to share her
-playful anger against the hugely embarrassed culprit. She behaved,
-afterward, very badly about Sir Everard's breaking off the engagement,
-which he did most delicately and generously. She had no dignity; she was
-furious, and showed that she was. She even hinted once--only once, but
-it was enough--at a breach-of-promise suit and damages.
-
-"Madame Vicaud appeared in the midst of the commotion, and quenched in a
-moment the ugly flicker of vulgarity. The Barnetts guessed that there
-must have been a terrible scene between the two, but Madame Vicaud
-carried off her daughter, completely quelled, it seemed. She could not
-save the situation; she merely made it tragic instead of odious. That is
-the story," said Lady Surfex, after a pause in which Damier, with a
-whitened face, kept a sick silence--"only the story, after all, of a
-vulgar girl who makes her mother piteous.
-
-"I should love to meet Madame Vicaud. She does not know that I know,
-nor, I think, does the girl. The best thing, I fancy, would be if the
-girl could be married off to somebody who understood--and didn't mind.
-Don't you think so? Could we try to help Madame Vicaud like that?"
-
-Damier could not think just now of Claire's future; he was thinking,
-persistently, of Madame Vicaud--seeing her as a white flower sunken up
-to the brave and fragile petals in mud. The past clung to her in her
-daughter--greedy, husband-hunting, lax, and vulgar. What must the
-tortured mother's heart have felt at this heaping of shame upon her
-proudest head? How, more and more, he understood, and interpreted, her
-silences, her reserves!
-
-In a dry voice he said that he could hardly hope for any possible
-atonement to Madame Vicaud.
-
-"Have I been wrong in telling you--ungenerous?" asked Lady Surfex.
-
-"No; right. It makes one more able to help her; or, at least, to feel
-where she most needs help. It is only in lifting the daughter that one
-can help her."
-
-"We will lift her!" said Lady Surfex, with a glance at his absorbed
-face. "And then, if we do,--right out of the mother's life,--what will
-she do alone?"
-
-"She would never allow her to be lifted out of her life."
-
-"Well, only in the literal sense of going away to live with her
-husband."
-
-"Her husband! It seems a difficult thing to find her one!"
-
-"Not so much to find one--she is enchanting in appearance, I hear--as to
-keep one. But no doubt she is wiser, better, now. And would you,
-Eustace, live on in Paris indefinitely if the girl married and left her
-mother alone? Is your friendship so absorbing?"
-
-He was able to look at her now with a smile for her acuteness.
-
-"Quite so absorbing."
-
-
-
-
-X
-
-
-YET that very evening Damier was to have his freshly
-emphasized disgust unsettled, as theories are so constantly unsettled by
-new developments of fact. Claire did not show him a new fact about
-herself; she merely explained herself a little further, and made it
-evident that one could not label her "vulgar" and so dispose of her.
-
-It was, curiously, with a keener throb of pity, in the very midst of all
-his new reasons for disliking her, that he found her alone in the salon,
-sitting, in her white evening dress, near the open window--opened on the
-warm spring twilight. There was something of lassitude in her posture,
-the half-droop of her head as she stared vaguely at the sky, something
-of passive, patient strength, a creature that no one could
-love--even--even--he had wondered over it more and more of late--her
-mother? The wonder never came without a sense of fear for the
-desecration that such a thought implied in its forcing itself into an
-inner shrine of sorrow.
-
-His vision in all that concerned the woman he loved had something of a
-clairvoyant quality. At times he felt himself closing his ears, shutting
-his eyes, to whispers, glimpses, which as yet he had no right to see or
-hear.
-
-That evening he was to dine with Madame Vicaud, Claire, and little
-Sophie; and Claire's gown, he felt in prospective, would make poor
-Sophie's ill-fitting blouse look odd by contrast in the box at the
-theater where he was afterward to take them. He had, indeed, never seen
-the girl look more lovely. His over-early arrival had had as its object
-the hope of finding, not the daughter, but the mother, alone. Yet,
-sitting there in the quiet evening air, talking quietly, looking from
-dim tree-tops outside to Claire's white form and splendid head, he felt
-that the unasked-for hour had its interest, even its charm. Claire did
-not charm him, but the mystery of her deep thoughts and shallow heart
-was as alluring to his mind as the merely pictorial attraction of her
-beauty to his eye.
-
-"The chief thing," said Claire,--they had been talking in a desultory
-fashion about life, and in speaking she stretched out her arm in its
-transparent sleeve and looked at it with her placid, powerful look,
-adjusting its fall of lace over her hand,--"the chief thing is to know
-what you want and to determine to get it. People who do that get what
-they want, you know--unless circumstances are peculiarly antagonistic."
-(Damier, in the light of his recent knowledge, found this phrase very
-pregnant.) "You, for instance, have never known exactly what you wanted;
-therefore you have got nothing. My father knew that he wanted to paint
-well--you rarely hear us speak of my father, do you?--though Mamma, you
-see, has his photograph conspicuously _en évidence_ up there, lest I
-should think too ill of him--or guess how ill she thinks of him herself.
-I hardly knew my father at all; he was, no doubt, what is called a very
-bad man, but clever, very clever. He determined to paint well, and he
-did. You know his pictures. I don't care about pictures, but I suppose
-there are few of that epoch that can be compared to that Luxembourg
-canvas of his. Mamma, do you know, never goes to see it. She has never
-really recovered from the shock poor papa gave her prejudices--the
-prejudices of the _jeune fille anglaise_. I"--she smiled a little at
-him, gliding quickly past the silent displeasure that her last words had
-evoked in his expression--"I have a very restricted field for choice;
-but I determine to be well dressed. I have small aims, you say; but with
-me, as yet, circumstances are very antagonistic. I should like many
-pleasures, but as there is only one I can achieve, I am wise as well as
-determined; what I do determine comes to pass. And Mamma--yes, I am
-coming to her. Mamma wanted to be good, and she is, you see, perfectly
-good. And, even more than that, perhaps, she wanted me to be good, too;
-but there either her will was too weak or I too wicked--the latter,
-probably, for she has a strong will."
-
-"Perhaps," said Damier, smiling as he leaned back in his chair, arms
-folded and knees crossed, listening to her--"perhaps you underestimate
-her success, or overestimate the Luciferian splendor of your own
-nature."
-
-"I don't think it is at all splendid," said Claire, composedly; "some
-wickedness is, I grant you; but do I strike you as affecting that kind?"
-
-"I must own that you don't."
-
-"Or, indeed, as affecting anything either picturesque or desirable?" she
-pursued.
-
-Again Damier had to own that she affected no such thing.
-
-"Ah, that is well. I should not like you to misinterpret me," said
-Claire. "I make no poses." And after a slight pause in which he
-wondered anew over her, she added: "I merely like enjoyment better than
-anything else in the world."
-
-"Yours, you know, is a very old philosophy--a universe of will and
-enjoyment; but one must have a great deal of the former to attain the
-latter in a world of so many clashing aims," said Damier.
-
-"Yes, one must."
-
-"And not the highest type of will. The world, so seen, is a terrible
-one."
-
-"Do you think so?" Her look, from the sky, drifted lazily down to him.
-
-"Don't you?"
-
-"No; I think it wonderful, enthralling, if one attains one's aims; it is
-all beautiful, even the suffering--if one avoids suffering one's self."
-
-"You are an esthete--
-
- While safe beneath the roof,
- To hear with drowsy ear the plash of rain."
-
-"Oh, better than rain--the tempest!"
-
-"And how can one avoid suffering, pray?"
-
-"_Mais_,"--Claire had a tolerant smile for his naïveté,--"by staying
-under the roof, laughing round the fire. Mamma, you see, would be
-darting out continually into the storm."
-
-"Bringing other people back to shelter."
-
-"And crowding us uncomfortably round the fire, getting the rest of us
-wet!" smiled Claire. "For a case in point--don't you find Sophie a bore?
-She was going to commit suicide when Mamma, through something Miss
-Vibert said, found her. Yes, I assure you, the charcoal was lit--her
-last sous spent on it. And really, do you know, I think it would have
-been a wise thing. Don't be too much horrified at my heartlessness. I
-mean that Sophie will never enjoy herself; nothing in this world will
-ever satisfy her. When she has enough to eat she can realize more
-clearly her higher wants. And--I don't want to seem more ungenerous than
-I am, but, as a result, we have less to eat ourselves. Don't look so
-stony; I am not really _un mauvais coeur_. I would willingly dot
-Sophie, buy her the best husband procurable if I had the money; but
-husbands and houses and money wouldn't make Sophie comfortable, and I
-don't really see that much is gained by making two people less so in
-order to insure the survival of one unfit little Pole."
-
-"I need hardly tell you that I don't share the ruthless materialism of
-that creed. Who, my dear young woman, are you, to pronounce on Sophie's
-unfitness, and to decide that you, rather than she, have a right to
-survival?"
-
-Claire looked at him for a moment with a smile unresentful and yet
-rueful.
-
-"How often you surprise me," she said, "and how often you make me feel
-that I don't, even yet, quite understand you! It is so difficult to
-realize that a person so comprehending can at the same time be so rigid.
-With you _tout comprendre_ is not _tout pardonner_."
-
-"By no means," Damier owned, unable to repress a smile.
-
-"Well, I would far rather have you understand me completely, even if
-you can't forgive. I told you that I was wicked; one good point I have:
-I never pretend to be better than I am."
-
-"And one better point you have, and that is that you are better than you
-know." Damier spoke lightly, but at the moment he believed what he
-spoke.
-
-Claire smiled without replying, and said, after a little silence:
-
-"Of course you have seen how good Mamma is. You both of you have a moral
-perfume, and recognize it in each other. I puzzle and worry her so
-because I won't suffer, won't go out of my life into other people's. You
-asked me how one could avoid suffering; really, for the most part, it is
-very easy to avoid. Sympathy is the fatal thing: _to suffer with_--why
-should one? It is a mere increasing of the suffering in the world, if
-one comes to think of it. The wise thing is to concentrate one's
-self--to bring things to one's self; but it is that wisdom that Mamma
-will not understand in me."
-
-Damier made no comment on these assertions, and Claire, as if she had
-expected none, as if, indeed, she were expounding herself and her mother
-for her own benefit as well as his, went on:
-
-"She is very energetic, too, Mamma, as energetic as I am, but in a
-different way. She is always striving--against things; I wait. Even if
-she can't see distinctly at what she is aiming, she is always aiming at
-something; I never aim unless I see something to aim at."
-
-"What things do you aim at?" he now asked.
-
-"Oh--you know; things that Mamma despises--things that you too despise,
-perhaps, but that, at all events, you understand." He could not quite
-interpret the glance that rested upon him. "And Mamma's aims--I suppose
-you don't care to hear what I think of them?"
-
-"On the contrary, for you think very clearly. But I know what she has
-aimed at. What has she attained?"
-
-He asked himself the question, indeed, with an inner lamentation for
-the one evident, the one tragic failure.
-
-"Well,"--Claire clasped her hands behind her head and looked out of the
-window,--"for one thing, she has kept herself--she hasn't attained it:
-that wasn't needful--_très grande dame_. She has always made herself a
-social milieu congenial to her, or gone without one. For herself she
-would not choose and exclude so carefully; but I complicate Mamma's
-spontaneous impulses. The social milieu has always been to her a soil in
-which to try to grow my soul; that is why she is so careful about the
-soil; if it were not for me she would probably choose the stoniest and
-ugliest, and beautify it by blooming in it, since her soul is strong and
-beneficent."
-
-Half repelled and half attracted as Damier had been, it was now with
-more of attraction than repulsion that he listened, an attraction that
-had many sources. That she should so finely appreciate her mother was
-one. It was touching--meant to be so, perhaps, for even in his
-attraction he had these moments of doubt; but a sincerity that could
-paint herself so unbecomingly and her mother so beautifully was a new
-revelation of her frankness. There was attraction, too, though of a
-mingled quality, in her strength and in her apparent indifference to his
-impression of her. These were better things than the glamour; yet that,
-too, he felt, as when she turned her eyes on him and said that the world
-was beautiful. At such moments something joyous and conscienceless in
-him responded to her, half intellectual comprehension and half mere
-flesh and blood. It was a little swirl of emotion that his soul, calm
-and disdainfully aloof, could look down on and observe, in no danger of
-being shaken by it; but it did swirl through him like a tremulous coil
-of Venusberg music; and Claire, in her transparent white, with her heavy
-braids and grave, shining eyes, gleamed at such moments with the baleful
-beauty of the eternal siren. As long as one was human something human in
-one must respond to that siren call. Even now, when he was feeling,
-with some bewilderment, better things in her, the glamour looking from
-her eyes, breathing from her serious lips, confused and troubled the new
-impulse of trust and pity. Half lightly, half sadly, yet with a very
-gentle kindliness, he said to her: "Strong enough to make you flower
-some day, let us believe"; and, as silently she still gazed upon him:
-"That you should recognize beauty is already a flower, you know."
-
-Still leaning back, her arms behind her head, still looking at him,
-Claire now said: "I owe that flower, not to her, but to you."
-
-He stared for a moment, not comprehending.
-
-"You mean that you see her, appreciate her, through my sight, my
-appreciation?"
-
-"Yes--in a sense, I mean that."
-
-"But," said Damier, smiling, "you owe it to her that there is something
-beautiful to see."
-
-He was mystified, not quite trusting, yet touched.
-
-Claire, without moving, turned her eyes on the door. "Here she is," she
-said; and as her mother entered, she added, in the lowest voice above a
-whisper, so vaguely that it was like a fragrant perturbing influence
-breathing from the twilight and the spring air:
-
-"I like to owe all my flowers to you."
-
-Already, as he rose to greet the mother, he liked the daughter less.
-
-Madame Vicaud, in her black dress, with flowing white about her wrists
-and throat,--a throat erect and beautiful,--had closed the door softly
-behind her, and as she came toward him, Damier, involuntarily carrying
-further his Venusberg simile of some moments before, thought of an
-Elizabeth bringing peace and radiance; yet there was, too, a gravity in
-her gaze, a quick intentness that went swiftly from her daughter to him.
-Then the smile and the lightness masked her. She took his hand.
-
-"Has not Sophie come yet? Of what have you been talking?"
-
-"Of life, and how to live it," laughed Damier.
-
-"Wise young people! Was it a contest of sublimities?" Madame Vicaud laid
-down the evening wrap she had brought in, and, it seemed to Damier,
-averted her face from him as she took up a box of matches.
-
-"Do I ever fight under the banner of sublimity, Mamma?" Claire inquired,
-looking out of the window, showing once more her accustomed lassitude
-and detachment. "I leave those becoming colors to you--and to Mr.
-Damier."
-
-"But don't, even in jest, my dear, assume always the unbecoming ones,"
-Madame Vicaud replied, still with all her lightness, and bending, her
-face still averted, to strike a match. "You have discovered, have you
-not, Mr. Damier, that it is difficult for Claire to assume the virtues
-that she has?"
-
-She moved about the room, lighting the candles on the mantelpiece and on
-the cabinet where her husband's portrait stood; and Damier, watching
-the swift blackness of her girlish figure, the slender white of her
-uplifted hand,--the black more black, the white more white, as the
-radiance slowly grew in the dim room,--still fancied that she was
-mastering some emotion, hiding from him some sudden agitation. There was
-a faint flush on her face as she turned, gaily and sweetly, blowing out
-and tossing away her match, to welcome Sophie.
-
-
-
-
-XI
-
-
-DAMIER was well aware that some trivial and purely
-subjective fancy or emotion may oddly color and distort reality for one,
-and he was not quite able to decide whether change there really were in
-Madame Vicaud, or whether it was only in his imagination that the
-difference he had fancied in her on that evening was continued during
-the following days. She seemed, in her relations with him, more intimate
-and yet more effaced; and he was almost sure--or was it only the
-reflection of his own solicitude cast upon her?--that she watched him,
-speculated upon him, more than at any time in their friendship, and
-always with that controlled agitation. It was almost as if she guessed
-his new knowledge and understanding of her sorrows and humiliations; as
-if she wondered how much he knew, and how much he was going to let her
-see that he knew. And if she seemed more intimate yet more effaced,
-Claire, for a little while at all events, was less intimate yet more in
-evidence. He had the rather uncomfortable feeling that Claire had
-implied on that evening more than he had been able to understand; that
-she had laid upon him some responsibility that he really never had
-undertaken to accept: but she did not emphasize it further, seemed
-content to let it remain indefinitely apprehended by him, and the slight
-discomfort and perplexity he had felt passed from his mind, leaving only
-in a half-conscious undercurrent the mood of vague doubt and withdrawal,
-mingling with a deeper pity, a deeper desire to help--for her own sake
-now as well as for her mother's.
-
-It was odd, this hint of withdrawal and formality, in the midst of a
-greater kindness, when Claire occupied so much more conspicuously the
-foreground. She was now always with her mother; was a third in all
-talks and readings, listening, with eyes almost ironically vacant, her
-hands lying beautifully indolent in her lap, while Damier read aloud and
-her mother sewed. Claire did not seem to have stepped forward, but her
-mother seemed to have stepped back; and from the background--a
-mysterious one to his odd, new apprehension of things--she smiled more
-tenderly than before, and with yet a tremor, an intentness, as though
-expecting him to understand more than she could look.
-
-And all this might be merely an emotional color in his own outlook on
-unchanged facts, but the color certainly was there, making a faintly
-tinted difference over all the mental landscape.
-
-It was during the first days of this dim perplexity that he found
-himself alone once more with Madame Vicaud. He had outstayed all her
-guests on a Tuesday afternoon, and, the Viberts having taken Claire back
-to dine with them, Madame Vicaud asked the young man to share her
-solitude.
-
-Now, when they were alone, and while he sat cutting the leaves of a new
-book they were to read together, she went about the room, putting things
-back in their places, closing the piano--a little restless in her
-restoration of composure to the room.
-
-Presently she came to him, stood beside him, looking down at the book.
-"Always friends, you know," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder and
-speaking lightly, almost incidentally.
-
-"Why not?" Damier asked, looking up at her.
-
-"Indeed, why not?" she returned, smiling. "Nothing, I hope, would ever
-change our friendship."
-
-"Nothing could." She stood silently beside him, looking down, not at
-him, but at the volume of essays, and he added: "You will tell me if you
-are ever in any trouble or sorrow where I could help you, if ever so
-little?"
-
-"Oh, yes; I will tell you," she answered, still with the lightness that
-contrasted with the tremor of Damier's voice.
-
-Moving away, she asked him, presently, if he did not think that Claire's
-singing that afternoon had been very intelligent. She had sung Orféo's
-song of search and supplication through Hades, her mother accompanying
-her on the harp. Damier had not altogether cared for Claire's
-interpretation of the song. Claire's voice had thrown an enchantment
-around a rather over-emotional, yet an untender, conception of it.
-
-"Her voice is glorious," he said.
-
-"The song is to me one of the most beautiful parts of the opera," said
-Madame Vicaud; "that lonely, steadfast love, throbbing onward, through
-horror."
-
-"Ah," was on Damier's lips, "you have said what she could not sing"; but
-he had long felt that appreciation of Claire was the greatest pleasure
-he could give to her mother, and depreciation the greatest pain. He
-therefore sat silently looking at her, leaning forward, his hands
-clasped around the idle book-cutter; and Madame Vicaud, with all her
-calm, went on presently, taking up her sewing as she sat near the lamp
-with its plain green shade: "Do you think Claire's life very gray--very
-dreary?"
-
-The question from one who, on this subject of her daughter's upbringing,
-seemed always inflexibly sure of her own aims, surprised Damier, and its
-chiming with his own recent thoughts disturbed him. After all, was,
-perhaps, Claire's gray life an explanation, in one sense, of her ugly
-clutch at any brightness? Yet the serenity, the sweet, if laborious,
-dignity of the place her mother had made for her in life, hardly allowed
-the mitigating supposition. Claire's life was really neither gray nor
-dreary. He paused, however, for a long time before saying: "From her
-point of view it probably is."
-
-"I should have liked to give her a larger life, a life of more
-opportunity, more gaiety. I feel the narrowness of her path as keenly as
-she does. Not that Claire complains."
-
-"You have given her your best. How could she complain?" Damier was not
-able quite to restrain the resentment he felt at the idea of Claire
-complaining.
-
-"Ah, I could not blame her if she did," said Madame Vicaud, her quiet
-eyes on her work, "for mothers personify circumstance to children; we
-are symbols, to them, of baffling, cramping fate; very often, and very
-naturally, we are fate's whipping-boys: and when one is a young and
-talented and beautiful woman whose youth is passing in giving lessons,
-in seeing people who seldom interest or amuse her, fate must often seem
-to deserve blows."
-
-Damier, in the surge of his comprehension,--of which she must be so
-ignorant and at which perhaps she yet guessed,--longed to throw himself
-at her knees: her pity for Claire equaled, surpassed his own; and he
-had--not blaming her for it, thinking it, indeed, the penalty of her
-superiority--thought her unconscious of Claire's pathos.
-
-"You deepen your shadows too much," he said; "for a daughter more like
-yourself your life would not be a narrow one." He paused, for, though
-she did not lift her eyes, a faint flush passed over Madame Vicaud's
-face.
-
-"I see all your efforts to widen it," he went on, hurrying away from
-what he felt to have been an unfortunate comparison, "the flowers you
-strew: intellectual, artistic interests, friends that you hope she may
-find congenial, your delightful teas."
-
-"Oh--our teas!" Madame Vicaud interrupted, smiling with a rather
-satirical playfulness. "No; our delightful and 'cultured' little teas
-can hardly atone to Claire. She should have the gaiety, the variety, the
-colored experience that I had in my youth. I can well imagine that to
-Claire's palate the nourishment I offer her is rather tasteless. She
-needs excitement, admiration, appreciation, an outlet for her energy,
-her intelligence."
-
-Damier seized the opportunity--it was, he thought, very
-propitious--again to ask her when he might bring some of his friends in
-Paris to see her, suggesting that so Claire's social diet might be
-pleasantly diversified. Madame Vicaud had more than once
-evaded--gracefully, kindly, and decisively--all question of renewing
-broken ties with her country-people, or making new ones, and now, again,
-she slightly flushed, as though for a moment finding him tactless and
-inopportune; but only for a moment: when she lifted her eyes to him, it
-was with all their quiet confidence of gaze.
-
-"I hardly know that that would be for Claire's happiness or good. One
-must have the means of widening one's environment if it is to be with
-comfort to one's self. Our means are too limited to be diffused over a
-larger area. You must not forget, my friend, that we are very poor. I do
-not like accepting where I can offer nothing."
-
-"That is a false though a charming delicacy," said Damier. "You give
-yourself; and I hope you won't refuse to now, for I have almost promised
-you to Lady Surfex; she is very anxious to meet you."
-
-Madame Vicaud was silent for some moments, her eyes downcast to the work
-where she put firm, rapid stitches; then, in a voice that had suddenly
-grown icy, "Her mother did not recognize me one day, years ago, when she
-met me walking with my husband," she said.
-
-It was now Damier's turn to flush. He nerved himself, after a moment, to
-say:
-
-"But this is not the mother."
-
-"No; and my husband is dead: otherwise the wish to meet me would not
-overcome that disability."
-
-"You are a little unjust, my dearest friend," said the young man.
-
-"I know the world," she replied; but she raised her eyes in saying it,
-and looked at him with a sad kindness that separated him from the world
-she knew. "I don't judge it--only see it as it is. It seeks happiness,
-it avoids unhappiness. To be unfortunate is to be lost, in its eyes--to
-sink from sight. To be fortunate is to have a radiance around one; and
-the world seeks radiance."
-
-After looking at him she again bent her eyes, and still sewed on while
-she spoke. "When I needed it, it abandoned me. When I was in the dark,
-it did not look for me. I strayed--through stubborn folly, perhaps;
-perhaps, too, through generous ignorance--into a quicksand, and not a
-hand was held out to me. I was allowed to sink; I was déclassée, I am
-déclassée, in the eyes of all of those who were of my world." The cold
-flame of a long resentment burned in her steady voice. "I have tested
-average human nature," she resumed, after a slight pause, in which he
-saw her breast heave slowly. "It is a severe test, I own; but, after it,
-it is with difficulty that I can trust again. I have no wish to know
-people who, if I were in dire straits, would pass over on the other side
-of the way. The few friends I have I have proved--the comtesse, Madame
-Dépressier, Lady Vibert, Monsieur Daunay,--who had much to bear from my
-husband,--Sophie; there are a few more, very few; and then, you, my
-friend."
-
-She stopped sewing--the rapid movements of her hand had been almost
-automatic--and looked at him, her work falling to her knee. "Come here,"
-she said, holding out her hand to him, "come here. Have I seemed harsh
-to you?" Her sudden smile dwelt on him with a divine sweetness. "I am
-harsh--but not to you."
-
-Damier, with an eagerness almost pathetically boyish, had sprung to her
-side, and she took his hand, smiling up at him. "Not to you. You have
-enlarged my trust--need I say how much? Don't ask me to alloy it with
-dubious admixtures."
-
-His love for her was yet so founded on a sort of sacred fear that at
-this moment of delicious happiness he did not dare to stoop and confess
-all with a lover's kiss upon her hair, did not even dare to look a
-confession of more than a responsive affection.
-
-She pressed his hand, still smiling at him, and then, resuming her
-sewing, "Sit near me," she said, "so I can see that you are not fancying
-that I am harsh with you!"
-
-At such moments he could see in her eyes, that caressed one, made
-sweetest amends to one, touches of what must once have been enchanting
-roguishness.
-
-"But I am still going to risk your harshness," he said; "I am still
-going to ask you to let your trust in me include my friend. She would
-stand tests. Won't you take my word for it?"
-
-"I believe that I would take your word for anything."
-
-"And," said Damier, looking his thanks, "all you say is true. I don't
-want to justify man's ways to man; and yet ordinary human nature, with
-its almost inevitable self-regarding instinct, its climb toward
-happiness, its ugly struggle for successful attainment of it, is more
-forgetful than cruel toward unhappiness. One must be patient with it;
-one must remember that only the exceptional natures can rise above that
-primitive instinct. To take the other road is to embrace the sacrifice
-of all the second-rate joys--the only real joys to the average human
-being. One must either yield to the instinct or fight it, and most
-people are too lazy, too skeptical of other than apparent good, to do
-that. And then you must remember--I must, for how often I have struggled
-with these thoughts!--that misfortune is a mask, a disguise. One can't
-be recognized and known when one wears it; one can't show one's self; if
-one could there would perhaps be responses. People are base--most of
-them are base, perhaps; but sometimes they are only blind or stupid."
-
-"I sometimes think that I am all three," said Madame Vicaud, after a
-little pause. "Misfortune's distorting mask has become in me an
-actuality. I am perhaps blinded; certainly, as I told you, warped and
-hardened. I used not to be so; it was, I suppose, latent in me: I could
-not bear the fiery ordeal; the good shriveled and the dross remained."
-
-She spoke with a full gravity, no hint of plaintive self-pity, no appeal
-for contradiction, in her voice; yet, on raising her saddened eyes, she
-had to smile when she met his look.
-
-"I see," she said, "that you are determined to take me at your own
-valuation, not at mine."
-
-She turned the talk after that; she could seldom be led to talk of
-herself, and not until dinner was over, not until, after it, he had read
-to her for an hour, did she return to its subject. Then it was when he
-rose to go that, giving him her hand in farewell, she said:
-
-"Bring your friend; I shall be glad to see her."
-
-
-
-
-XII
-
-
-IT was as a result of this new friendship, which rapidly
-spread into half a dozen, that Damier, who seemed to himself to be
-walking among echoes of the past and whispered prophecies of the future,
-received yet another hint, another faint yet significant revelation, of
-Madame Vicaud's attitude toward her daughter.
-
-In the more or less fluctuating social world of English Paris, the
-beautiful and distinguished mother and her beautiful and effective
-daughter struck a novel and quite resounding note,--too resounding for
-Madame Vicaud's taste, Damier at once felt,--a note well sustained by a
-harmony so decisive as Lady Surfex, Mrs. Wallingham (another new
-friend), and Damier himself. That Madame Vicaud disliked feeling
-herself a note sustained by any harmony, Damier guessed. That she
-mastered the dislike for his sake, he knew. He knew that she would do a
-great deal for his sake--a great deal for Lady Surfex, too. She and Lady
-Surfex liked each other absolutely. But it was through Lady Surfex, and
-her secret alliance with Damier, that the problem of Claire, instead of
-being unraveled, was the more deeply involved. Claire evidently enjoyed
-this new phase of life. She had now quite frequent opportunities for
-displaying her gowns and her voice and her dancing at receptions and
-balls. Yet, already, among her new entourage, she had shown her affinity
-with its less desirable members. A rich, fashionable, and rather tawdry
-Englishwoman took a great fancy to her; and Mrs. Jefferies was the
-sister of a fashionable and tawdry brother, Lord Epsil, who at once
-manifested a decided interest in the red-haired beauty, pronounced her
-to be like Sodoma's Judith, and made her mother's withdrawal of her
-from his company the more noticeable by his persistent seeking of hers.
-
-"It is really too bad," Lady Surfex said to Damier. "She flirts
-outrageously with the man--if one can call that indolent tolerance
-flirting. I hope that she realizes that he is a bad lot. From a purely
-worldly point of view he can be of no advantage to her. He is married
-and has not a nice reputation."
-
-"She may not realize it, she may be indifferent to it; but her mother
-realizes and is not indifferent."
-
-"And we wanted to spare her such watchfulness!" sighed Lady Surfex.
-
-"It seems that we can spare her nothing," Damier replied. At the same
-time he felt that Claire could be accused of nothing worse than too
-great a tolerance. Once or twice she spoke to him of Lord Epsil with
-half-mocking insight. "He is not like you," she said; "the difference
-amuses me." Claire's intelligence was, after all, her best safeguard in
-all that did not touch matters of delicate taste, and Damier's only way
-of helping her mother was to watch with her--to constitute himself a
-sort of elder brother in his attitude toward Claire, and to try, by
-being much with Claire himself, to make Lord Epsil's wish to be with her
-less able to manifest itself.
-
-The faint yet significant hint of what Madame Vicaud's real feelings
-toward her daughter were came to him one evening at a dance, when she
-sat beside Lady Surfex, more beautiful, with her white face, her thick
-gray hair, in the dignity of her black dress, than any other woman
-there. He then saw on her face, as, fanning herself slowly, her head a
-little bent, she watched Claire dance, a concentration of the somberness
-it sometimes showed. It was a moment only of unconscious revelation; in
-another she had turned, with her quiet and facile gaiety, to a laughing
-comment of her companion's. But Damier, following that momentary
-brooding look, saw in a flash its interpretation on the daughter's face.
-Claire was dancing, exquisitely dressed, calm, competent, complacent,
-as noticeable and as graceful a figure as any in the room. And yet--he
-had felt it from the first, but never so clearly, so tragically, as
-through that somber maternal gaze--Claire was ill-bred. It was that her
-mother should see her so that made the revelation.
-
-The somberness was not a fear of what others thought; she was, he knew,
-almost arrogantly indifferent to what people thought: it was what she
-herself thought that had gloomed her brow. And that she should see,
-should recognize, that affection should not mercifully have blinded her,
-filled Damier with a sort of consternation. Again all the ugly visions
-of Claire crossed his mind, and now, indeed, the mother stood transfixed
-beside them, for she, too, saw such visions. Ill-bred was a trivial,
-mitigating word.
-
-He realized that this very quality--call it what one would--in Claire
-was the cause of her effectiveness, the reason, too, that his hopes for
-her would probably remain unfulfilled.
-
-She was a woman upon whom, when she entered a room, all men's eyes
-turned. Her beauty was like the deep, half-triumphant, half-ominous note
-of brazen instruments. But she was not a woman that men of Madame
-Vicaud's world, of Lady Surfex's world, would care to marry. Had she
-been an heiress,--and she was of the type that one associates with
-unfragrant and recent wealth,--had it not been for her poverty, her
-essential obscurity, she would no doubt have been enrolled among the
-powerful young women who are watched with admiring envy as they advance
-toward a luminous match. Claire had quite the manner of placid advance,
-quite the manner (and how detestable to her mother the manner must be!)
-of a young woman bent upon "getting on." But though her indolent
-self-assurance made people give way before her, made her talked of and
-something of a personage, she was, as a result of her launching, far
-more likely to become notorious than eminent. Any success of Claire's
-must, like herself, be ill-bred, tainted.
-
-That Claire felt this, he doubted, or even that, if felt, she would
-mind; but that Madame Vicaud felt it he now agonized in knowing. And she
-had asked for her daughter neither eminence nor a luminous match; she
-had, he now saw, been glad to shield her with obscurity. That she might
-become notorious, fulfil herself completely in so becoming, would be the
-bitterest drop in her cup that fate could reserve for her.
-
-If she dreaded it, she kept, at all events, a stoic's calm above the
-dread. And her restrictions, delicate, subtle, unemphasized, were about
-Claire on every side; her unobtrusive watchfulness was constantly upon
-her. With a cheerful firmness she held Claire to her duty of earning, as
-Claire had said, "the butter for her bread," and thwarted, without
-seeming to thwart, many of her social opportunities. Damier saw, though
-only faintly, under the surface of appearance her dexterity kept smooth,
-the constant drama of the conflict, a conflict that never became open or
-avowed. He saw that Madame Vicaud's cleverness was so great that even
-Claire hardly knew that there was a conflict; but after what he had seen
-in the mother's eyes on the night of the dance, he understood, at least,
-for what she was fighting.
-
-Damier still felt the subtle change in his relations with Claire and
-Madame Vicaud, and he had by this time adapted himself to it--adapted
-himself to seeing Claire more constantly, seeing Madame Vicaud more
-rarely alone, encouraged as he was in this sacrifice by the strong
-impression that in so doing he was pleasing her, and was emphasizing
-that silent, yet growing, nearness and intimacy.
-
-The silence was part of her extreme delicacy, and of her fineness of
-perception; it showed that his brotherly attitude toward Claire was what
-she had hoped for, and it was almost maternal in its sweetness of
-recognition to him, its loyalty of speechlessness toward the other
-child, the child that--he knew it so clearly now--could only give her
-profoundest pain; such a silence would a mother keep with the child that
-gave her happiness.
-
-He had never more strongly felt this queer medley of influences than on
-one warm summer evening when he and Madame Vicaud sat outside the salon
-on the high balcony that overlooked the garden. They had dined,--he and
-Monsieur Daunay, and Claire and her mother,--and now Claire and Monsieur
-Daunay had established themselves at the piano in the distant end of the
-salon, the pale radiance of two candles enveloping them and deepening
-the half-gloom in the room's wide spaces.
-
-Outside the twilight lingered, though beneath them the June foliage made
-mysteries of gloom; the warm breathing of the summer ascended in
-fragrance from still branches; the faint stars above shone in a pale
-sky.
-
-They were both very silent, Damier looking at her, and she with eyes
-musingly downcast to the trees. Her face, he thought, showed a
-peculiarly deep contentment; more than that, perhaps: for he still felt
-the whisper of a mystery; still felt, in all the peace between them, a
-hint of perplexity; still divined that, though she was tranquil, her
-tranquillity had been wrested from some struggle,--a struggle that she
-had hidden from him,--as though she had yielded something with pain,
-even though, now, she was satisfied. Patience as much as tranquillity
-was upon her lips and brow; and yet he knew that, insensibly, she had
-come to lean upon the new strength he brought into her life; that she
-depended upon him, though she confided so little; that soon, very soon,
-her eyes must answer the unspoken question in his, and solve, in the
-answer, all mysteries. Indeed, he said to himself that, Claire's
-harassing problem all unsolved, he could not wait much longer; he must
-know just where he stood with her, and tell her where he wished to
-stand. Now, as they sat there, listening to Claire's richly emotional
-voice,--a voice that expressed so much more than it felt,--it was
-Claire's voice, just as it was the thought of Claire, that disturbed the
-peace, jarred upon the aspiration of his thoughts. Its beauty seemed to
-embroider the chaste and dreaming stillness with an arabesque of
-opulent curves and flaunting tendrils. Our imaginative young man could
-almost see a whiteness invaded by urgent waves of purple and rose and
-gold. He stirred, shifted his position involuntarily and
-uneasily--wished Claire would stop singing; her voice curiously
-irritated him.
-
-Madame Vicaud sat with her back to the open window, and Damier, beside
-her, could not see into the room without turning his head. He did
-happen, however, to turn his head during a humming pause. Monsieur
-Daunay's hands were still held on the last chord, while, as Damier
-thought, he demonstrated to Claire some improvement in her rendering of
-the note that had just soared above it. But as he turned lazily to
-glance at them, Damier saw a strange, an unexpected thing, a thing
-poignantly disagreeable to him. Monsieur Daunay's face, vividly
-illuminated, was upturned to Claire's; he was speaking below his breath,
-under cover of the humming chord, and with a look of humble yet
-reproachful entreaty. Claire, a swift finger on her lips as she bent to
-the music, had a glance for the window, and Damier's eyes of
-astonishment and dismay met hers. He looked away abruptly--too abruptly
-for a successful controlling of the dismay and astonishment, for he
-found Madame Vicaud's eyes upon him, and he saw in a moment that they
-had been upon him during the swift incident--eyes filled with wonder and
-with an ignorant yet intense fear. Memories of another scene,
-hand-kissings in an arbor, flashed upon him, and he knew her thoughts.
-She met his look--as empty as he could make it--for a long moment; but
-after it she did not, also, glance into the room, where the song now
-flowed with an almost exaggerated spirit. Wrapping her arms more closely
-in her light shawl, she sat quite silent, the effort to control, to
-master the crowding of her surmises apparent in her rigidly still
-profile. Damier guessed that the surmises must, inevitably, suspect
-Claire, not Monsieur Daunay. In justice to Claire, after the
-involuntary silence of his dismay, he could not longer be silent. After
-all, and he drew a long breath in realizing it, Claire's past shadowed
-perhaps too deeply her present; after all, the fact was not so alarming.
-
-"Have you never suspected," he said, "that Monsieur Daunay cares for
-Claire?"
-
-She did not reply; turning a wan face upon him, her eyes still averted,
-she shook her head in a helpless negation of all such knowledge.
-
-"Don't be distressed," said Damier, terribly afraid that he too much
-showed his own distress; "it is unfortunate for him, and wrong of him to
-keep such feeling from you; I happened just now to see its revelation in
-his face as he looked at Claire."
-
-Madame Vicaud, for another moment, said nothing, struggling, he knew,
-with those awakened memories--or were they not always awake, clutching
-at her?
-
-"He may care for Claire," she then said faintly, "but she cannot care
-for him; that--you know--is impossible."
-
-"Only enough, I am sure, to wish to shield him."
-
-"I could never have suspected. He is an old friend, a trusted friend. I
-must speak to him."
-
-"Let me speak to him--may I? I will walk home with him to-night."
-
-A certain relief in Madame Vicaud was taking a long, deep breath, and
-nothing could more clearly have assured him of the position he held in
-her eyes than the half-hesitating yet half-assenting consideration she
-gave to his rather odd proposal.
-
-"But," she said, "will he not wonder--by what right--"
-
-"I speak? By the right of my fondness for you."
-
-"And for Claire, yes," said Madame Vicaud, thoughtfully.
-
-Damier had not at all intended to imply this amendment, especially at a
-moment when he was so sure of not being at all fond of Claire; yet the
-trust of her inclusion was so unconscious of possible contradiction that
-he could not trouble it.
-
-"But what will you say?" she went on. "Any reproach should come from me;
-and what reproach could you make? I cannot think he is more than
-piteous; people fall in love with Claire--often."
-
-Damier was feeling that if, by chance, Monsieur Daunay were more than
-piteous, he must stand between Madame Vicaud and the discovery.
-
-"I will be all discretion--all delicacy. I will only say that I was the
-unsuspecting, the involuntary witness of the incident; and that, as your
-friend, almost, I might say,"--he hesitated, seeking a forcible word in
-place of the one he dared not use,--"your son, I must ask him how much
-Claire knows of it--how far it should interfere with your confidence in
-him."
-
-She was silent for a long moment, her head still turned from him to a
-silhouetted profile against the sky; it was now so much darker that he
-could see little more than its vague black and white, yet he thought
-that, in her stillness, she flushed deeply. In her voice, when she
-spoke, there was the steadiness that nerves itself over a tremor, yet
-there was, too, a greater relief. "Well," she said. The word assented to
-all he asked. She did not look at him again, and presently, as the music
-had ceased, rose and went into the room. Claire was pointing out to
-Monsieur Daunay a picture in a magazine, apparently all placidity; but
-in a moment near the parting, while Madame Vicaud, with an equal calm,
-stood speaking to Monsieur Daunay near the piano, Claire said to Damier,
-quietly but intently:
-
-"You have not betrayed me to Mamma?"
-
-"Betrayed you?" Damier questioned, ice in his voice.
-
-"Him, rather," she amended. "Not that there is anything to betray, only
-Mamma would find it so shocking that a married man should be in love
-with me; he is so _bête_--Monsieur Daunay--to have forgotten that you
-were out there."
-
-"I must tell you that your mother guessed that I had seen something. I
-told her what I had seen, that he loved you, though not that you seemed
-to accept his love."
-
-For a moment she gazed into his eyes, at first with a gravity that
-studied him, and then with a light effrontery. "Accept it! _par
-exemple!_" she exclaimed, and she put her hand on his arm with a
-half-caressing reassurance. "Set your mind at rest! I am only sorry for
-him. Meet me to-morrow morning at ten at the Porte Dauphine; we can have
-a little walk in the Bois. I want to tell you all about it."
-
-Monsieur Daunay was going, and Damier, as he turned from Claire, met
-Madame Vicaud's eyes. Their wide, dark gaze was, for the instant in
-which she let him see it, piteous and almost wild. He interpreted their
-fear, though he could not quite define their question. All the mother
-was in them. Did he despise her child, as others did? He mustered his
-bravest, most gravely confident smile, in answer to them, as he pressed
-her hand in parting. For another instant they met his, saw his smile,
-and answered it with a look tragically grateful in one so proud. He had
-never stood so near her as at that moment.
-
-Damier went out with the Frenchman, and once in the cool, dim street, he
-dashed at the subject: "Monsieur Daunay, I must at once tell you that
-inadvertently this evening, through your own indiscretion, I discovered
-your secret. You are a married man; you are Madame Vicaud's trusted
-friend; and you love her daughter."
-
-Monsieur Daunay stopped short in the street, exasperation rather than
-embarrassment in his face. He fixed Damier with very steady and very
-hostile eyes.
-
-"And what then?" he asked.
-
-"You have a perfect right," said Damier, "to ask what business it is of
-mine, and I can only answer that I, too, am a trusted friend of Madame
-Vicaud's, and, Monsieur Daunay, a friend whom she can trust."
-
-"Ah, Monsieur Damier, you have--I do not deny it--more rights than I,
-who have none," said Daunay, in a voice the bitterness of which was a
-revelation to Damier. "I have no rights, only misfortunes. Why not add
-that you are Madame Vicaud's trusted friend, and that you, too, love her
-daughter?"
-
-Damier felt a relief disproportionate, he realized, to any suspicions he
-had allowed himself to recognize. The atmosphere, after the unexpected
-thunderclap, was immensely cleared. Monsieur Daunay was jealous, and
-Monsieur Daunay was evidently piteous only. With all the vigor of a
-sudden release from bondage, he exclaimed: "You are utterly mistaken; I
-have no such rights: I do not love Mademoiselle Vicaud."
-
-"What do you say?" Monsieur Daunay's astonishment was almost blank.
-
-"I do not love her in the very least."
-
-"Then," stammered the Frenchman, "we are not rivals? You can then pity
-me--I am jealous with none of the rights of jealousy."
-
-"None of the rights?" Damier eyed him.
-
-"None, monsieur; Madame Vicaud's trust in me is not unfounded," said
-Monsieur Daunay, with something of a slightly ludicrous grandiloquence.
-
-"Yet Mademoiselle Vicaud knows of your attachment."
-
-"I never declared it; she guessed it, perhaps inevitably." They were
-walking on again, and he shrugged his shoulders. "_Que voulez-vous?_ She
-has a certain tenderness for me that gives perception, and I adore
-her--but adore her, you understand." Damier was understanding and not at
-all disliking this victim of the glamour--or, was it not deeper than
-that? Something in the Frenchman's voice touched him. Would Claire ever
-arouse a deeper affection than this? Not only had she cast her glamour
-upon him: he evidently loved her--"but adore her, you understand," as he
-had said in his expressive French.
-
-His hands clasped behind him, Monsieur Daunay, with now a reminiscent
-confidence, shook his head and sighed profoundly. "_Que voulez-vous?_"
-he repeated. "Since her girlhood it has been with me a hidden passion.
-_Ce que j'ai souffert!_" He showed no antagonism now, no resentment;
-Damier could but be grateful.
-
-"Claire has not suffered through me," he went on. "She allows me to love
-her, but she knows that she is free. What can I claim?--an honorable
-man, and shackled. Yet--I have always hoped that she might, generously
-and nobly, keep an unclaimed faith with me. I have claimed none, and yet
-she has assured me that, as yet, she loves no other. I have needed the
-assurance of late--I confess it. Your apparent courtship I could not
-reproach her with,--though it tore my heart,--but her permission of this
-ill-omened Lord Epsil's attentions filled me with consternation; I have
-felt myself justified in reproaching her for her _légèreté_ in regard to
-this."
-
-"But," said Damier, after a slight pause, "this unclaimed faith--how do
-you expect her to keep it?"
-
-There was a touch of embarrassment in Monsieur Daunay's voice as he
-answered: "My wife and I have, for years, been on most unfortunate
-terms; I have no reproaches to address myself on her account. She is a
-confirmed invalid, and of late her condition has been critical. One must
-not hope for certain contingencies--one must not, indeed, admit the
-thought of them too often; but--if they did arise--"
-
-"I see," said Damier, gravely; "you could claim her. It is, indeed, a
-most unpleasant contingency. Would it not be for Claire's happiness if
-you were not to see her again until it arose?"
-
-"Ah, no," said Daunay, with something of weariness; "ah, no; her
-happiness is not involved. Claire--I speak frankly; my affection for her
-has never blinded me--Claire is not easily made unhappy by her
-sympathies. It is only myself I hurt by remaining near her, by seeing
-her, as I constantly imagine, on the point of abandoning me. But to
-leave her--you ask of me more than I am capable of doing."
-
-Later, when Damier told him of Madame Vicaud's knowledge of the
-situation, Monsieur Daunay heaved another, not regretful, sigh.
-
-"It is as well. I will say to her what I have said to you. She will be
-generous; she will understand."
-
-Damier felt oddly, when he parted with him, that he might trust Monsieur
-Daunay, but that he trusted Claire less than ever.
-
-
-
-
-XIII
-
-
-NEXT day, as Damier waited near the Porte Dauphine for
-Claire, he could reflect on his really parental situation, but feeling
-more the irritation than the humor of it. After all, where was his
-authority for this meddling? Why should they submit to it? and why, as a
-result, should he submit to the hearing of Claire's coming
-self-justification? He could spare Madame Vicaud nothing by it, since
-she knew all that there was to know--and since it was better that she
-should know it. He had written to her the night before, on reaching his
-hotel, and told her of the talk with Monsieur Daunay and of the
-impression it had made upon him. He wondered if she had, meanwhile, had
-an equally appeasing talk with Claire.
-
-This young woman appeared quite punctually, walking at a leisurely pace
-along the sanded path, where the full summer foliage cast flickering
-purple shadows. Claire was all in white, white that fluttered about her
-as she walked; her hat, tilted over her eyes, had white wings--like a
-Valkyrie's summer helmet; her white parasol made a shadowed halo behind
-her head. As she approached him she looked at him steadily, with
-something whimsical, quizzical in her gaze, and her first words showed
-no wish to beat about the bush.
-
-"You talked to him last night? I talked a little to Mamma, or rather she
-talked to me. I soon satisfied her that I didn't feel for him, _pas
-grand comme ça d'amour_." Claire indicated the smallness she negatived
-by a quarter of an inch of finger-tip. "And I think I can soon satisfy
-you, too," she added. "He told you everything?"
-
-"Everything."
-
-"And you are terribly shocked that an unmarried young woman should take
-money from a married man who is in love with her? Must I assure you
-that our relations are absolutely innocent?"
-
-In his stupefaction, Damier could hardly have said whether her first
-statement or the coolness of her second remark--its forestalling of a
-suspicion she took for granted in him--were the more striking. Both
-statement and remark revealed her character in a light more lurid than
-even he had been prepared for. He was really unable to do more than
-stare at her. Claire evidently misinterpreted the stare yet more
-outrageously. She had the grace to flush faintly, though her eyes were
-still half ironic, half defiant.
-
-"I do so assure you."
-
-"I did not need the assurance." Damier found his voice, but it was
-hoarse.
-
-Claire, in a little pause, looked her consciousness of having struck a
-very false note.
-
-"And now no assurance would convince you that I am not very low-minded
-and vulgar. Well, I am, I suppose. _Que voulez-vous?_ Only don't be too
-much shocked by my frankness; don't be prudish. A man may be propriety
-itself, but he may not be prudish. Remember that I am twenty-seven, that
-I know my world (though how I have been able to get my knowledge with
-such a dexterously shuffling and shielding Mamma, I don't know), and
-that I think it merely silly to pretend that I don't know it before a
-man with whom I am as intimate as I am with you. Of course, on the face
-of it, to accept money from a married man who is in love with one does
-suggest a situation usually described as immoral."
-
-Damier was feeling choked, feeling, too, that he almost hated Claire, as
-she walked beside him, slowly and lightly, opulently lovely, the flush
-of anger--it was more anger than shame--still on her cheek.
-
-"I must tell you," he said, in a voice steeled to a terrible courtesy,
-"that it is you alone who inform me of your indebtedness to Monsieur
-Daunay's kindness. He, I now see, did not tell me everything."
-
-"What did he tell you, then?" she asked, stopping short in the path and
-fixing her eyes upon him, in her voice a rough, almost a plebeian,
-note.
-
-"That he adored you, and that he could be trusted."
-
-"Well, he can be!" She broke into a hard laugh. "_Le cher bon Daunay!_ I
-thought that of course he would paint a piteous picture of his woes. And
-now you are furious with me because I supposed that, as a man of the
-world, you might unfairly, yet naturally, imagine more than he told
-you."
-
-Damier made no reply.
-
-"You are furious, are you not?"
-
-"I am disgusted, but not for that reason only."
-
-"You think I am in love with him!" She stopped again in the narrow path.
-"I swear to you that I am not!" He would have interrupted her, but her
-volubility swept past his attempt. "If he had been free I would have
-married him--I own it; at one time, at least, I would have married him.
-I am French in my freedom from sentimental complications on that
-subject. I could have found no other man in this country willing to
-marry a dotless girl. I should have preferred, of course, a _mariage
-d'amour_; but, given my circumstances, could I have found anything more
-desirable than a kind, generous, and adoring friend like Monsieur
-Daunay?"
-
-"I should say certainly not,"--Damier waited with a cold patience until
-she had finished,--"but again you have misinterpreted me; I am disgusted
-not because you love Monsieur Daunay, but because you do not love him."
-
-At this, after a stare, Claire gave a loud laugh.
-
-"Ah!--_c'est trop fort!_ You can't make me believe that you want me to
-love him."
-
-"I don't want you to love him; but I say that the circumstances would be
-more to your credit if you did."
-
-Her face now showed a mingled relief and perplexity.
-
-"Ah, it is the money, then--that I should accept it!"
-
-"Can I make no appeal to you for your mother's sake--for the sake of
-your own dignity?"
-
-"I can take care of my own dignity, Mr. Damier." The relief was showing
-in her quieter voice, her fading flush. "I see how angry you are--and
-only because I have not pretended with you. Let me explain. I never
-pretend with you: I can only explain. I must begin at the beginning to
-do it; and the beginning and the end is our poverty. Mamma had a
-pittance left to her, a year or so after my father's death, by some
-relations, and that, since then, has been our only _pied-à-terre_. She
-would never accept the allowance, quite a generous one, too, that her
-family wished to make her. I don't want to blame her; I know how you
-feel about her; I appreciate it. But it was, I must say it, very selfish
-of her; she should have thought more of me--the luckless result of her
-mésalliance--and less of her own pride. I really hardly know how she
-brought me up: though, I own, she gave me a good education; I was always
-at school during my father's life--she avoided _that_ soil for me, you
-may be sure! I give her credit for all that; she must have worked hard
-to do it. But she owed me all she could get for me, and, I must say, she
-did not pay the debt." Claire had been looking before her as she talked,
-but now she looked at Damier, and something implacable, coldly enduring,
-in his eye warned her that her present line of exculpation was not
-serving her. "Don't imagine, now, that I am complaining--ungrateful,"
-she said a little petulantly. "I know--as well as you do--what a good
-mother she has been to me. I only want to show you that she is not
-altogether blameless--that she is responsible, in more ways than one,
-for me--for what I am. Let it pass, though. When I came home, a young
-girl, full of life and eager for enjoyment, what did I find? Poverty,
-labor, obscurity. It was an ugly, a meager existence she had prepared
-for me, and, absolutely, with a certain pride in it! She expected me to
-enjoy work, shabby clothes, grave pursuits, as much as she did, or, at
-all events, not to mind them. Plain living, high thinking--that was her
-idea of happiness for me!" Insensibly the ironic note had grown again in
-her voice. "I remember, too, at first, her taking me to see poor people
-in horrid places--expecting me to talk to them, sing to them; I soon put
-a stop to that. At her age, with a ruined life, it is natural that one
-should wish to devote one's self to _bonnes-oeuvres;_ but for me, _ah,
-par exemple!_" Claire gave a coarse laugh. "I had not quite come to
-that! She gave me the best she had--all she had, you will say; I own it:
-but not all she might have had. And then she need not have expected me
-to enjoy--should not have been aggrieved, wounded, because I only
-endured. Again,--I am not unjust,--it was not all high thinking; she had
-her schemes for my amusement--_d'une simplicité!_ Really, for such a
-clever woman, Mamma can be dull! And the people we knew! We had a
-right--you know it--to _le vrai grand monde_. You know it, and you are
-trying, now, to help me to it. But Mamma did not try. With a little
-management she might have regained her place in it; but no--her pride
-again! She seemed to think that _she_ was _le grand monde_, and that I
-ought to be satisfied with that! And now, with all this, you think it
-strange--_disgusting_--that when I saw that Daunay--_le pauvre!_--was in
-love with me I should ask him to continue to the daughter the aid that
-he had extended to the father! There again, for a clever woman, Mamma is
-dull--though her dullness has been to my advantage. She can make money,
-she can avoid spending it, but she has little conception of its value;
-she does the housekeeping, and, after that, she leaves the management of
-our resources to me. She is funnily gullible about the price of my
-clothes; the lessons I give would hardly keep me in shoes and
-stockings--as I understand shoes and stockings!" Claire laughed. "This
-dress that I have on--Mamma imagines it is made by a little dressmaker
-whom I am clever enough to guide with my taste. I take out the name on
-the waist-band and she is none the wiser. This dress is a Doucet." There
-was now quite a blithe complacency in Claire's voice. "And I have always
-considered myself amply excusable," she went on, "in accepting the small
-pleasures that life offered me. Of course it has really not been much
-that I have been able to accept--though he would willingly--and he is
-not rich--give more. Jewels, for instance, I have never dared
-attempt--nor even many dresses; that would have been incautious. For
-Mamma, of course, must never know; she would be inexpressibly shocked. I
-can see her face!"
-
-So could Damier. He was conscious of almost a wish to be brutal to
-Claire, physically brutal--to strike her to the dust where she dragged
-the image of his well beloved; but, after a moment, he said in a voice
-quiet enough: "You must tell her now; you must tell her everything."
-
-Claire stopped short in the path. "Tell her!"
-
-"You must, indeed." The full rigor of his eyes met the astonishment of
-hers.
-
-"Never!" said Claire, and in French, as if for a more personal and
-intimate emphasis, she repeated: "_Jamais!_"
-
-"I will, then; it is an outrage not to tell her."
-
-Their eyes measured each other's resolution.
-
-"If you do," said Claire, "shall I tell you with what I retaliate? I
-will run away with Monsieur Daunay. Yes; I speak seriously. I would
-prefer not to be pushed to that extremity, but I sometimes think that I
-am getting a little tired of respectability _au quatrième_. It isn't
-good enough, as you English say; I get no interest on my investment. To
-tell her! Now, of all times, when I so need the money, when the small
-gaieties and pleasures you have brought into my life depend on my having
-it, making an appearance! She would not let me take it. She would be
-glacial--and firm. Oh, I have had scenes with her! I could not stand any
-more."
-
-For once Claire was fully vehement, her cheeks flaming, her eyes at once
-threatening and appealing. He could hardly believe her serious, and yet
-she silenced him--indeed, she terrified him. Claire read the terror in
-his wide eyes and whitening lips. Her look suddenly grew soft, humorous.
-She slipped her hand inside his arm.
-
-Involuntarily he started from her, then, repenting, for even while he so
-loathed her he had never found her so piteous, "I beg your pardon--but
-you horrify me too much."
-
-"Come, come," she said, and, unresentfully, though with some
-determination, she secured his arm, "don't take me _au pied de la
-lettre_. I am not really in earnest; you know that; I had to use a
-threat--had to frighten you. Come." That she had been able so thoroughly
-to frighten him seemed to have restored in her her old air of
-complacent mastery. "You are wide-minded, clever, kind. Don't misjudge
-me. Don't push me to the wall. Don't apply impossible standards to me.
-See me as I am. By nature, by temperament, I am simply a bohemian. It
-isn't my fault if my mother happens to be a saint, and a horribly
-well-bred saint; it really isn't my fault if she has handed on to me
-neither of those qualities. I am perfectly frank with you. From the
-first I felt that I could be frank with you; I felt that you understood
-me; don't tell me now that I was mistaken."
-
-"I do understand you," said Damier, "but you horrify me none the less."
-
-"I horrify you because I am a creature thwarted, distorted; nothing is
-more ugly or repulsive--but if I had had a chance!"
-
-"What would a chance have done for you? You have had every chance to be
-noble and loving and happy--yes, happy."
-
-"But not in my own way!--not in my own way!" she cried, and now she
-clasped both hands on his arm and leaned against his shoulder as she
-looked into his face. "I needed power and wealth--all the real
-foundations of happiness and nobility. Then--ah, then I should have
-blossomed. Or else, failing them, I needed liberty and joy--the life of
-a bohemian. I have had neither the one nor the other, and if I seem
-almost wicked to you it is because of that; for, to me, wickedness means
-going against one's nature. I have always been forced to go against
-mine; I have never had a chance."
-
-Damier gave a mirthless laugh. "On the contrary, to me wickedness means
-going with one's nature."
-
-"Ah, there we differ; and yet we understand."
-
-Again he had that feeling of perplexity and irritation. Her eyes, the
-clasp of her hands upon his arm, irked and troubled him, and without,
-now, any sense of glamour in the trouble and irritation. She seemed to
-make too great a claim upon his understanding, and to rely too much
-upon some conviction of her own charm that could dare any frankness just
-because it was so sure of triumph. He felt that at the moment he did not
-understand her; he felt, too, that he did not want to--that he was tired
-of understanding her.
-
-"You are an unhappy creature, Claire," he said. They were nearing the
-Porte Dauphine, and while he spoke with a full yet distant gravity,
-Damier looked about for a fiacre. "An unhappy creature with an
-unawakened soul."
-
-"Will you try to wake it, the poor thing?" asked Claire. She still held
-his arm, though he had tried to disengage it, and though she spoke
-softly, there was a vague hardness in her eyes, as though she felt the
-new hardness in him, though as yet not quite interpreting its finality.
-
-"I shouldn't know how to: I am helpless before it. It should be made to
-suffer," he said. A cab had answered his summons, and he handed her into
-it. "No, I cannot go home with you," he said. "Are you going home?"
-
-"I am going to lunch with old Mademoiselle Daunay, and see Monsieur
-Daunay there. I had no chance to speak to him last night." Claire,
-sitting straightly in the open cab, had an expression of perplexity and
-of growing resentment on her face; but as he merely bowed and was about
-to turn away, she started forward and put her hand on his shoulder.
-
-"Are you going to make it suffer?" she asked. He looked into her eyes.
-He did not understand her, but he saw in them a demand at once alluring
-and threatening. His one instinct was to deny strongly whatever she
-demanded, though he did not know what that was.
-
-"I have no mission toward your soul, Claire," he said. For another
-moment the eyes that threatened and allured dwelt on his; then, calling
-out the address to the cabman, she was driven away.
-
-
-
-
-XIV
-
-
-ON Damier's return to his hotel early in the afternoon,
-he found a note from Madame Vicaud awaiting him. "Monsieur Daunay has
-just been here," it said, "and destiny has strangely brought this matter
-to a crisis. His wife is dead, and he has asked me for Claire's hand,
-feeling that his false position toward me demanded an immediate
-reparation. He hopes and believes that she loves him; but this, as both
-you and I must know, is impossible. I am saddened and confused by the
-whole situation. I do not blame them, but to me it is all displeasing,
-even shocking--this haste to profit by the wife's opportune death most
-of all. Will you come and see me? Claire is lunching at his cousin's,
-and he will find her there. I told him to speak to her himself, as I
-felt that to act the maternal part of intermediary between them would
-now be mere formalism and affectation; so I am alone. You will want to
-speak to me, I know."
-
-Damier, as he drove to the Rue B----, speculated on the rather
-mystifying significance of the last sentence. He always wanted to speak
-to her: that she must know; but why now in particular? Since his
-interview with Claire that morning he had felt almost too shaken by pity
-for the mother to trust himself with her. He would not be able to help
-her with counsel and consolation; he would not be able to think of
-Claire; and at this turning-point in Claire's life it was for that that
-the mother needed him.
-
-He found her standing in the salon, evidently pausing to meet him, in a
-restless pacing to and fro. Her eyes dwelt on him gently and very
-gravely while she took his hand.
-
-"Who could have expected this swift dénouement? But it is best," she
-said, "and I pitied him very deeply."
-
-"Pitied him--for the past, you mean?" Damier questioned.
-
-"Oh, for the future more!"
-
-Damier wondered over her eyes, over the something tremulous in her
-smile.
-
-"I saw Claire this morning," he said. "We talked over the matter; she
-wished to see me."
-
-Madame Vicaud showed no surprise at this piece of information. "Ah, yes;
-I understand," she said.
-
-"She certainly told me that she did not love him," Damier went on, "and
-yet--" He paused, not quite knowing how to put to her his hope that
-Claire now would reconsider the situation, his hope that she would marry
-Monsieur Daunay.
-
-It would be the solution of all difficulties, the best solution
-possible, and the situation could then be defined anew in terms that he
-more and more deeply longed for. He hardly dared, even yet, before her
-unconsciousness, define it, and turning away from her, he walked down
-the room, urging himself to a courage great enough to enable him now to
-speak to her what was in his heart. Madame Vicaud was watching him
-thoughtfully when he faced her again at the end of the room, and with
-still that look of controlled emotion.
-
-"I, also, have something to tell you," he said.
-
-"Yes," she assented quietly, yet with the look evidently braced,
-steeled, in preparation for what she was to hear.
-
-"Can you guess?" he asked.
-
-She was standing now, strangely, in the attitude of the little
-photograph--leaning on the back of a high chair; and her eyes recalled
-yet more strangely the intentness of the picture's eyes as she said:
-"You have come to tell me that you love my daughter?"
-
-He was so deeply astonished, so completely thrown back upon himself,
-that for a long moment he could only gaze helplessly into the eyes'
-insolubility.
-
-"No," he said at last; "I did not come to tell you that."
-
-"But you do love her?" Madame Vicaud inquired, with something of gentle
-urgency in her voice, as though she helped his shyness. "Be frank with
-me, my friend; I have guessed so much more, seen so much more, than you
-told me or showed me. Even with all that saddens you, that pains you,
-you do love her--enough to overlook the pain and sadness?"
-
-"No," said Damier, still facing her from his distance, "I do not love
-her. I have never needed to overlook anything."
-
-Plainly it was her turn to be astonished, thrown back upon herself.
-
-"But, from the beginning, has that not been your meaning?"
-
-"You, only, have been my meaning."
-
-He saw that her thought, in its disarray, could not pause upon his
-interpretation of these words. She had straightened herself, both hands
-on the chair-back, and her wide gaze, her parted lips, and the vivid
-wonder and surmise in her face made her look curiously young.
-
-"You have, from the first, been so much with her--seemed to take so much
-interest in her--seemed so to understand her; she was so open--so
-intimate--"
-
-"She is your daughter."
-
-"But that, I thought, added to the certainty: you must, I thought, love
-my daughter--"
-
-He was forced to beat a retreat for a moment of disentanglement; and,
-suddenly, disentanglement seemed to demand a cutting sincerity.
-
-"I don't, in the very least, love Claire; I have never, in the very
-least, loved her; I have only been sorry for her."
-
-"Sorry for her? Because of her dull, bleak life? Ah, have I not been
-sorry, too?"
-
-"But I not for that," said Damier, "not for that; but because she made
-me so sorry for you; because"--and he looked at her--"because you do not
-love her."
-
-He was still at a distance from her, and across it her look met his in
-a long silence.
-
-Then a strange, a tragic thing happened to her. He had before seen her
-flush faintly; but it was now a deep, an agonizing blush that slowly
-rose and darkened in her face. The revelation of look and blush was long
-before she leaned her elbows on the chair-back and covered her face with
-her hands.
-
-"Forgive me!" Damier murmured. He felt as if he had stabbed her. He came
-to her, and, half kneeling on the chair before her, he longed, but did
-not dare, to put his arms around her and sweep away this complication,
-and all the others--ah, the others?--the years and years of them that
-rolled between them!--in a full and final confession. "Forgive me for
-seeing--it is not your fault; it is my clear-sightedness--"
-
-She made no reply.
-
-"You try to understand her, but she is alien to you. She tears at every
-fiber of you. There is nothing in her that does not hurt you," Damier
-said, hastening to speak all the truth, since the moment inevitably had
-come for it.
-
-Madame Vicaud lifted her head.
-
-"I do understand her," she said. She did not look at him. Straightening
-her shoulders, drawing a long breath, she walked away from him to the
-window; there, her back to him, she added, the truth seemingly forced
-from her as it had been from him, "And I hate her."
-
-Damier remained leaning against the chair. The situation, in its
-strangeness, dazed him. But looking at her figure, dark against the
-light, he was able to say: "I even guessed that--almost."
-
-"Yet you do not hate her," she said, after a pause of some moments,
-speaking without moving or turning her head.
-
-Damier paused too. "I have not your reasons," he said at last.
-
-"Ah, my reasons! Yes." She turned to him now, as though she saw in him
-an accusing world, and faced it in an attitude of desperate
-self-justification.
-
-"They began with her father," said Damier.
-
-"I hated him," she said. Her eyes looked through him, fixed on the abyss
-of the past. "I hated him. He was abhorrent to me. I lived with him for
-fifteen years--fifteen long, long years. I bore his brutality, his
-wickedness--I am not the woman to use the word prudishly--I can make
-allowances--wide ones--for temperament, environment, all the mitigating
-causes: but my husband's wickedness was unimaginably vile; to see it
-stained one's thoughts." The memory of it, as she spoke, had chilled her
-to a drawn and frozen pallor; it was as though the blighting breath of
-the past went across her face, aging it, emptying it of life.
-
-"I bore the ruin he brought; that was nothing--a spur to love, had love
-been possible. I bore his serene, inflexible selfishness. The only thing
-I would not bear"--and she still looked full at Damier, but with the
-same unseeing largeness of gaze--"was his love. _His_ love!" She turned
-and walked across the room. Damier felt his own flesh shudder as he
-looked behind the curtain her words lifted, felt his own heart freeze in
-the aching sympathy of its comprehension. He could not speak to her. It
-seemed to him that she stood at a great distance from him and would not
-hear him. Her voice, when she spoke again, had less of its haunting
-terror, but it still thrilled with a deep and tragic note: "All this, as
-thousands of women have done, because it was my duty--to help him--to
-uphold him--to stand by him unflinchingly, and--because he was _her_
-father. You said that my reasons for hating her began with him. Ah, but
-he was my reason for loving her so desperately--with such a longing to
-atone to her for him. I gave her all the love he had crushed out of me.
-You see his picture there; I have schooled myself, so that she may not
-feel the smirch of him through my horror, to bear the sight of him, to
-say to myself every day, 'That is the face I loved.' Oh, what
-madness!--what madness!" She pressed her hands hard upon her eyes. "Some
-day, perhaps,--since I tell you everything,--I will tell you that story,
-too--my love-story. The memory of it is like a block of lead upon my
-heart." Her hands fell, but the memory made her silent, and for a long
-moment she stood looking down. "But all was hidden from her: the
-dread,--that soon passed--I was the stronger, he came to feel it, dread
-fell from me,--the hate that followed it, and the final, the terrible
-pity,--for I came to pity him when he hung about my life, helpless, like
-a torn and dirty rag,--all that was hidden from her. I kept her lifted
-out of the mud he dragged us down to; she never saw its depths. While he
-lived, and while he was dying,--and horrible to see and hear,--she was
-at a school. Those days!" She paused and turned away, and then went on:
-"It was in the winter. Lessons fell away; there was the school, the
-doctor, all the expenses of an illness to be met. I went into the
-streets of nights, a man carrying my harp, and sang for money; I had a
-voice till then, and I braved more than the snow and the night to do it:
-I was still beautiful. This that you may see how I loved her, how I
-struggled for her, how like any mother, though now I seem so hard--so
-hideously unnatural. Ah, I fought--I cannot tell you, you cannot guess,
-how I fought for her. And then, he died, and then there was for me peace
-and the blossoming of delicious hope. She and I together, saved from the
-wreck. It seemed to me that I had battled through waves, past rocks and
-whirlpools, holding her to my breast, and had reached the shore at
-last--she alive for me, and I for her. And then--ah, then! The
-shipwreck, the years of struggle, were crude tragedy to my gradual
-realizing of the subtle disaster that was to poison my life forever.
-Year by year I saw it coming--I saw him creeping into her. I saw the
-grave purpose settle round her lips--the steady greed for self. I saw
-his smile in her eyes; his eyes were beautiful like hers: when I first
-looked at them, I thought them full of splendid dreams, noble strength.
-She was not cruel, or brutal, or vicious, as he had been. She submitted
-placidly; she submitted, and I hoped for happiness. I could not make her
-happy or unhappy. I meant nothing to her except the thing that fed and
-clothed her. She took what I could give, and waited for what I could not
-give. She lied only when the truth would not serve her purpose better;
-so, often, she was frank with me. Her grave laugh maddened me, and her
-indifferent adapting of herself to me--for expediency, not for love. If
-only she had become a gentle and beautiful animal, to guard from its own
-instincts! but she is an animal of such hideous intelligence; she knows
-when I try to guard her, and evades me. Like him, she is corrupt to the
-core of her; not--do not misunderstand me--that she would do wrong in a
-conventional sense--and that it is conventional wrong-doing that I
-dread she has always pretended to read into my horror of evil, making a
-plaster saint of me so that she may more easily evade the deeply
-understanding woman of flesh and blood. Hers is the worse corruption,
-that calculates chances, chooses and manages. It is there in her, I
-know, though, in its worst forms, latent still--I think."
-
-Damier, white already, felt himself blanch before the rapid glance, like
-a sword-stroke across his face, that she cast upon him. She guessed at
-all his knowledge.
-
-Again she turned away and walked up and down the room.
-
-"Hideous, hideous that I should speak so to you, and to you I hoped, yet
-dreaded--You will wonder how I could have hoped it; how, knowing this, I
-should not have warned you. But at first I did not think it possible,
-though I knew her charm; at first I did not understand you, and, not
-understanding, I guarded you. And then I saw your generous, your
-pitiful heart, and I saw that it understood Claire, that perhaps you
-understood her better than I did. With you she was her best self; she
-trusted you, it seemed, so utterly. I hoped that yours was the clearer
-vision, that I was warped, no longer capable of true seeing. Yet, when
-the friendship that I rejoiced in grew, as I thought, into love, there
-was a terrible struggle in me. My strong attachment to you--you who had
-opened the prison gates that shut me into my misery, who brought me out
-of a loneliness so long, so bitter--ah! my friend, do not think that I
-have not seen and felt it all; but I could not speak to you as I might
-have spoken had it not been for that struggle in me between the justice
-owed to you--yet that you did not seem to need--and the duty to her--not
-to withhold, for your sake, a possibility that might redeem her. My mind
-was fixed in that struggle; of our friendship, yours and mine, I could
-not think clearly. If you had been ignorant, if she had hidden herself
-from you, I should have sacrificed her unflinchingly to you; I should
-have interposed and shown her to you. But she showed herself to you. I
-knew, from my knowledge of you, that she would not attract you as she
-attracts most men, not nobly. I saw from her looks with you, her words,
-that she would make no efforts so to attract you. I must say all to you,
-since you must understand all. Claire does not love you, but you attract
-what is best in her. She relies, I have guessed it, upon the very pathos
-of her moral ugliness to enchant you, to arouse in you the chivalrous,
-redemptive qualities she sees in you. And I grew to hope that you saw
-something that I could not see. I even began to feel a blind, groping
-tenderness for her through your fancied tenderness; and as I allowed
-myself to hope that you loved her, I allowed myself to have faith in the
-redeeming power of your love."
-
-She stood before him now, looking at him with saddest eyes; and Damier,
-answering them, shook his head.
-
-"Alas, no. It would have been my story over again, the positions
-reversed, and you without my illusions, had you loved her, married her;
-and yet, it was because you had no illusions that I hoped."
-
-But Damier could not think of dead hopes.
-
-"What you have suffered!" he said.
-
-"Yes," Madame Vicaud answered, "I have suffered; but do not, in your
-kindness, your tenderness, exaggerate. I have suffered, but all has not
-been black. There have been flowers on the uphill road. I don't believe
-in a woe that is blind to them, or to the sky overhead."
-
-But she still stood looking at dead hopes, not thinking of him.
-
-"Clara," said Damier.
-
-She was a woman of deep understanding, yet even now,--and hardly was it
-to be wondered at, so lifted through its very intensity was his love for
-her above love's ordinary manifestations,--even now her name so gravely
-spoken by him had no further meaning for her than the one openly,
-proudly, joyously accepted, the meaning of the strange tie that had
-united them; but, while she accepted it, his look startled her. It
-showed nothing new, but seemed to interpret newly something she had not
-recognized before. Smiling faintly, she said:
-
-"You have a right."
-
-"Not the right I would have." He felt no excitement, only the enraptured
-solemnity that a soul might feel in some quiet dawn of heaven on finding
-another soul parted from years ago on earth--long sought for, long
-loved.
-
-She said nothing, her dark eyes fixing him with a wonder that was
-already a recognition.
-
-"I love you," said Damier. He had not moved toward her, nor had she
-moved away. A little distance separated them, and they stood silently
-looking at each other.
-
-"You mean--" she said at last.
-
-"I mean in every way in which it is possible for a man to love the woman
-he worships."
-
-The whirl of her mind mirrored itself in the stricken stupefaction of
-her wan, beautiful features. She caught at one flashing thought. "And
-I--her mother! You might have been my son!"
-
-"No; I might not," Damier affirmed.
-
-"By age; I am old enough."
-
-"I know your age; you are forty-seven," said Damier, able to smile at
-her, "and I am thirty. If you were seventy-seven, the only difference
-would be that I could have fewer years to spend with you; I should wish
-to spend them just the same. As it is, your age does not make us
-ludicrous before the world, if we were to consider that."
-
-At this she turned from him as if in impatience at this quibbling, and
-her own endurance of it, at such a moment.
-
-"My friend! That this should have happened to you!"
-
-"Can it never happen to you?" he asked.
-
-"I would never allow it to happen to me."
-
-"It would not be to look up at the sky--it would not even be to stoop to
-a flower?"
-
-"I would not allow myself to look, or to stoop, knowing that after I had
-looked and gathered, the flower would wither, the sky be black."
-
-He saw, as she gazed steadily round at him, that the gaze was through
-tears. Clasping his hands with a supplication that was, indeed, more the
-worshiper's than the lover's, Eustace said:
-
-"But would you--would you stoop?"
-
-"I cannot answer that; I cannot think the answer. Your friendship has
-led me away from the rocky wastes into the sweetest, the serenest
-meadows." Though she spoke with complete self-mastery, the tears ran
-down as she said these words, and she turned her face away. "I should be
-culpable indeed if I allowed you to lead me aside into a fool's
-paradise, with a precipice waiting for you in the middle of it. I shall
-be an old woman while you are still a young man."
-
-"Beloved woman, can you not believe that, young or old, you are the same
-to me? I have not fallen in love with you--I have found you. When I saw
-your face in the old picture I knew that it was mine."
-
-"The face of a girl. I was nineteen then."
-
-"Do not juggle with the truth. Your face now is dearer to me than the
-girl's face. Your heart, I believe, is nearer mine than you know. That
-struggle in you when you imagined that I loved Claire, was it not, in
-part, the struggle of a sacrifice? Did you not submit because you
-thought that the side of self-sacrifice must be the right side?"
-
-Still her face was turned from him, and after a silence she said,
-"Perhaps."
-
-"And if this were our last moment--if there were no question of age or
-of going on--then--then would you tell me that you have felt something
-of my feeling--the finding--the recognition--the rapture--own to it with
-joy?"
-
-She turned to him now and looked at him, at his eager, solemn face, the
-supplication and worship of his clasped hands, looked for a long time,
-without speaking. But her face, though she was so white and so grave,
-seemed, as she looked, to reflect, with a growing radiance, the youth in
-his.
-
-"I have felt it," she said at last, "but I have hardly known that I felt
-it."
-
-"You know now?"
-
-"Yes, I know now."
-
-"You could own to it--with joy?"
-
-"If this were our last moment.--Ah, my friend!" He had taken her into
-his arms.
-
-The long years drifted away like illusions before an awakening. Her
-girl-hood--but weighted with such dreams of sorrow and loneliness!--seemed
-with her again. She was helpless, though her heart reproached him and
-herself, yet could not wholly reproach--helpless in a happiness poignant
-and exquisite. They kissed each other gently, and, his arms around her,
-they looked earnestly at each other. Speechlessly they looked the
-finding, the recognition, the rapture.
-
-The meeting in heaven had come; but there was still the earth to be
-counted with.
-
-
-
-
-XV
-
-
-AS they heard the tinkle of the entrance-bell, Claire's
-voice, her step outside, Madame Vicaud moved away from Damier. She was
-seated in a chair near the table, and the young man stood beside her,
-when Claire entered.
-
-Claire paused in the doorway and looked sullenly, yet hardly
-suspiciously, at them. She had never worn a mask for Damier, yet he saw
-in her flushed and somber face something new to him, saw that she lacked
-some quality--was it confidence, indifference, placidity?--that he had
-always found in her. He guessed in a moment that her interview with
-Monsieur Daunay had not been a propitious one.
-
-"I did not expect to see you so soon again, and under such suddenly
-changed circumstances," she said to him. "What are you talking about?
-Me?" She took off her hat,--the day was sultry,--pushed up her thick
-hair, and dropped her length of ruffled, clinging white into a chair.
-"So; I have seen Monsieur Daunay. He lost no time, it seems. He asked my
-hand of you first, I hear, Mamma, in proper form--_très
-convenablement_."
-
-"Yes," Madame Vicaud assented with composure.
-
-"It seems that you discouraged him."
-
-"I could not encourage him from what you had told me, but from what he
-told me it seems that you did not discourage him," the mother answered.
-
-"I have never been in a position to discourage any useful possibility,"
-said Claire.
-
-Madame Vicaud, in silence, and with something of a lion-tamer's calm
-intentness of eye, looked at her daughter; and Claire, after meeting the
-look with one frankly hostile, turned her eyes on Damier.
-
-"And it seems that you, last night, did not discourage Monsieur Daunay's
-hopes; he spoke of you with gratitude. What have you to say to it all
-now?"
-
-"I have nothing to say to it; it has always been your affair--yours and
-his."
-
-"You made it yours, it seems to me!"
-
-"Unwillingly."
-
-"Oh--unwillingly!" Claire laughed her ugliest laugh. "I don't understand
-you, Mr. Damier--I began not to understand you this morning"; and, as he
-made no reply:
-
-"Your present silence doesn't accord with your past interference."
-
-"My silence? What do you expect me to say?" Damier asked, with real
-wonder, forgetting the mother's intimations.
-
-"Can you deny that--apart from your feelings of angered propriety--you
-were pitifully jealous last night and this morning? I had to assure you
-again and again that I did not love him--the truth, as it happens."
-
-This speech now opened such vistas of interpretation to the past--of
-interrogation to the future--that Damier could only, speechlessly, look
-his wonder at her.
-
-"Were you not jealous?" she demanded.
-
-"Not in the faintest degree."
-
-Her flush deepened at this, an angry, not an embarrassed, flush.
-
-"And what, then, was your motive for prying, meddling, cross-questioning
-as you did? You had a motive?"
-
-"I have always had an interest in your welfare, Claire, but your mother
-was my motive for meddling and cross-questioning, as you put it."
-
-"Oh--my mother!" Claire tossed her a look where she sat, her arms
-folded, near the table. "You were afraid for my honor since hers was
-involved in it? Was that it?"
-
-"Perhaps that was it--and for the same reason I beg you to spare your
-mother now."
-
-Claire leaned back in her chair and fixed upon him a heavy stare above
-her heavy flush. "Come," she said, "I have never had pretenses with
-you--I have always been frank. Do you intend to marry me? There it is
-clearly; I have no false delicacy, and, bon Dieu! you have given me
-every right to ask the question."
-
-Madame Vicaud, soundless at the table, now leaned her elbows upon it and
-covered her face with her hands. "Come," Claire repeated, casting
-another look upon her; "for Mamma's sake, you owe me an answer. Spare
-her the shame--she feels it bitterly, you observe--of seeing my
-outrageous uncertainty prolonged. Haven't you spent all your time with
-me? Haven't you taken upon yourself a position of authority toward
-me--made my affairs your own? Aren't you going to--how would Mamma put
-it?--redeem me--lift me? Or are you going to let my soul suffer a little
-longer?"
-
-"You could hardly speak so, Claire, if you spoke sincerely," said
-Damier; "you may once have misinterpreted my friendship for you, but you
-no longer misinterpret it. I have never intended to marry you. It is
-you, remember, who force me into this ugly attitude. I could not face
-you in it, were I not sure that your feeling for me has always been as
-free from anything amorous as mine for you."
-
-"I don't speak of my feeling for you!" Claire cried in a voice suddenly
-loud, leaning forward with her elbows on the arms of her chair, "but of
-yours for me! It is not there now--I see it plainly, and I see plainly
-why! She--_she_--has been talking to you against me!--telling you about
-some childish follies in my life!--making you believe that I would not
-be a fit wife for you! Ah, yes!--I know her!" Claire pointed a shaking
-finger at her mother. "She would think it her duty to protect you
-against me--I know her!"
-
-"Be still," said Damier in his voice of steel.
-
-Claire, for a moment, sank back, panting, defiant, but silent before it.
-
-"You are conscious of your own falsehood, but you can scarcely be
-conscious of how base and vile you are. Your mother, when I came to-day,
-was hoping that I had come to ask her for your hand; she believed that I
-loved you, and hoped it."
-
-Claire, in her sullen recoil, still remained sunken and panting in her
-chair.
-
-"Well, then! And what have you got to say to us both, then, if you gave
-us both cause for such a supposition? What have you meant by it all?"
-
-"What I meant from the beginning I can best define by telling you that
-to-day I asked your mother to marry me."
-
-Claire sat speechless and motionless. The words seemed to have arrested
-thought, and to have nailed her to her chair. Damier looked at Madame
-Vicaud. Her hands had dropped from her face, and she met his eyes.
-
-"The truth was allowed me?" he said.
-
-"It is always allowed," she answered.
-
-Her face was so stricken, so ghastly, that Damier, almost forgetting in
-his great solicitude the hateful presence in the room, leaned over her,
-taking her hand.
-
-"Bear it. It is better to have it all over. And, in a sense, it is my
-own fault. I should have spoken to you sooner--defined what I meant from
-the first."
-
-"So," Claire said suddenly. Her smoldering eyes, while they spoke, had
-gone from one to the other. "So; this is what it all meant! Indeed, I
-cannot blame myself for not having guessed it. You in love with my
-mother! Or, shall we not more truthfully say, she in love with you?--the
-explanation, as a rule, you know, of these odd amorous episodes. I begin
-to understand. I did not suspect a rival in my own mother. Clever
-Mamma!"
-
-"Let this cease now," said Madame Vicaud, in a lifeless voice. "All has
-been said that it is necessary to say."
-
-"Indeed, no!" cried Claire. She sprang to her feet, braving Damier's
-menacing look, and stood before them with folded arms, defiantly, "All
-has not been said! I am to marry the middle-aged, middle-class man of
-small fortune, and you are to marry the _prince charmant_! Ah, don't
-think that I am in love with you, _prince charmant_, though I might have
-loved you had not my mother had such a keen eye for her own interests,
-and kept mine so dexterously in the background. I might have loved you
-had you been allowed to fall in love with me. Oh, I know what you would
-say!" Her voice rose to a shout as she interrupted his effort to speak.
-"How base, how vile, and how vulgar--_n'est-ce pas_? A girl clamoring
-over the loss of a husband! Shocking! Well, I own to my vulgarity. I did
-want to marry you. You have money, position--all the things I never hid
-from you that I liked; and you interested me, and I liked you, and I
-could be myself with you. My mother has always been too dainty to secure
-a husband for me--arrange my future: I have had to do all the ugly work
-myself; and I liked you because--just because I had to do no ugly work
-with you. And I clamor now--not because I have lost you--no, it's not
-that; but because she--_she_ has made her goodness serve her so!--has
-made it pay where my frankness failed. She is good, if you will; but I
-tell you that I prefer my vulgarity--my baseness--my vileness to her
-clever virtue; or is it an unconquerable passion with you, Mamma?--is it
-to be a _mariage d'amour_ rather than a _mariage de convenance_?"
-
-While Claire spoke, her mother, as if mesmerized by her fury, sat
-looking at her with dilated eyes and a fixed face--a face too fixed to
-show anguish. Rather it was as if, with an intense, spellbound interest,
-she hung upon her daughter's words, hardly feeling, hardly flinching
-before her insults, hardly conscious of each whip-like lash that struck
-her face to a more death-like whiteness. Now, drawing a breath that was
-almost a gasp, she leaned forward over the table, stretching her arms
-upon it and clasping her hands. "Claire, Claire!" she said, with a
-hurried, staccato utterance, "I see it all with your eyes--I understand.
-You have had something really dear taken from you--not love, perhaps,
-but a true friendship; that is so, isn't it? He seems to have turned
-against you,--isn't it so?--and through me. There is in you an anger
-that seems righteous to you. How cruel to have our best turned against
-us! I see all that. Ah, no, no! Let me speak to her!" For, Claire
-keeping the hardened insolence of her stare upon her, Damier, full of a
-passionate, protecting resentment, put his arm around her shoulders,
-took her hand. She threw off the hand, the arm, almost cruelly. "Let me
-speak to my child! Don't come between us now--now when we may come
-together, she and I. Yes, Claire, he loves me,--you see it,--too much,
-perhaps, to be just to you, though he has been so just--more just than I
-have been, perhaps; he has been so truly your friend. But now I am
-just. I am your mother. I can understand. I love him, Claire, yes, I
-love him; but I understand you. I will never do anything to part us
-further--understand me! I will never marry him against your will. Oh,
-Claire, try to understand me--try to trust me--try to love me!" She rose
-to her feet, her face ardent with the upsurging of all her longing
-motherhood, its sudden flaming into desperate hope through the deep
-driftings of ashen hopelessness; and as if swayed forward by this flame
-of hope, this longing of love, this ardor, she leaned toward her child,
-stretched out her arms toward her face of heavy impassivity. At the
-gesture, at her mother's last words, Claire's impassivity flickered into
-a half-ironic, half-pitying smile. But she did not advance to the
-outstretched arms. Merely looking at her with this searing pity, she
-said:
-
-"You would marry him to me if you could, wouldn't you?--you would, as
-usual, sacrifice yourself to me; as usual, your radiance would shine
-against my dark. Poor, magnanimous Mamma! No, no, no!" She turned and
-walked up and down the room. "No, no! I am tired of all this--tired of
-you; and you are tired of me. You will marry Mr. Damier. Why not, after
-all? Don't let scruples of conscience interfere, especially none on my
-account. It would not separate us: we are separated; we have always been
-separated, and that we are gives me no pain. But don't expect me either
-to live with you when you are married, or to marry my antique lover and
-settle down to the respectable, tepid joys he offers me. No, and no
-again. I will not marry him. I leave the respectability to you two
-excellent people." The glance she shot at them now as they stood
-together was pure irony. Her mother's pale and beautiful face still kept
-its look of frozen appeal, as though, while she made the appeal, she had
-been shot through the heart. Its beauty seemed to sting Claire where the
-appeal did not touch, and, too, Damier's look, bent on her with a quiet
-that defied her and all she signified, stung her, perhaps, more deeply.
-
-"My poor chances can't compete with yours, Mamma," she muttered. "Let me
-tell you that despair becomes you." She took up her hat.
-
-"Where are you going, Claire?" Madame Vicaud asked in her dead voice.
-
-"Don't be alarmed. Not to the Seine. I am going to a tea with Mrs.
-Wallingham. I shall be back to dinner. You will admit me?"
-
-"I shall always admit you."
-
-"Good." Claire was putting in her hat-pins before the mirror. "That is
-reassuring. Console her, Mr. Damier. Try to atone to her for me--bad as
-I am, I am sure that you can do so. Ah, I don't harmonize with a
-love-scene!--it was one I interrupted, I suppose. Let me take my
-baseness--my vileness--from before you." Her hand on the door, she
-paused, fixing a last look upon them; then, with a short laugh, she
-said, "Accept my blessing," and was gone.
-
-
-
-
-XVI
-
-
-MADAME VICAUD said nothing. She drew her hand from
-Damier's and sank again into the chair from which she had risen. Hope,
-ardor, and love, forever perhaps, were dead within her. She had hated
-her daughter, but under the hatred had been, always, the hidden flame,
-not, perhaps, of love, but of longing to love. She hated no longer, and
-the flame was quenched. Even in his nearness to her, Damier could not
-look with her at that slain longing. Walking away from her, he stood for
-a long time, gazing unseeingly over the garden, in silence. At last he
-turned and came to her. Her arm leaned on the table and her head upon
-her hand. With unutterable weariness she looked up at him.
-
-"And now," she said, "you must go, my friend."
-
-"Go?" Damier repeated.
-
-Years of resolute endurance looked from her eyes; the weariness was not
-a wavering. Her face seemed sinking back into the abyss from which he
-had rescued it.
-
-"Yes, you must go."
-
-"And leave you with her!"
-
-"And leave me with her," she assented monotonously.
-
-"Never--never!"
-
-She passed her hand over her brow, pressing her eyelids, as if in the
-effort to dispel her deep fatigue and find words with which to answer
-his harassing protest.
-
-"Yet you must. I have the wonder, the treasure of your love for me. I
-will keep it always. I will never forget you. But it is impossible, even
-the friendship, now. We must not drag what is dear to us in the mire. I
-could not keep you as my friend under her eyes. I must live with her,
-and for her; that is the only life possible for me. I made it for
-myself. Whatever her cruelty, whatever her baseness, I have only to
-remember that I am responsible for her, that I am her only chance. And
-after this her presence in my life makes yours wrong. She knows now that
-you are not a friend only, and as a husband you could not remain. Such a
-_ménage à trois_ would be as detestable as it would be grotesque."
-
-"She will marry!" cried Damier. "She must marry Monsieur Daunay."
-
-"I do not think that she will marry him; but if she does marry, I could
-not separate my life from hers, though then I could see you again, but
-as friend, as friend only."
-
-Damier burst out into a smothered invective:
-
-"And you think of sacrificing the rest of your life to that
-creature--who has no love for you--whom you cannot love! What can you do
-for her? You can never change or soften her."
-
-He felt that the vehemence of his despair and rebellion dashed itself
-against a rocky inflexibility, although she still bent her head upon her
-hand with the same deep weariness, not looking at him, still spoke on
-with the same monotonous patience:
-
-"I cannot call the fulfilling of the most rudimentary maternal duty a
-sacrifice. You forget that my youth is past, and that with it the time
-for sacrifices is past, too. I have no claims on life. Life, at my age
-and in my position, can only be a dedication. I can, perhaps, never
-soften or change her: but I can still protect her; I can still lend her
-the dignity, such as it is, of my home and my companionship. And I can
-pity her, most piteous creature--whose mother has no love for her."
-
-"Ah, you do not love me!" cried Damier, and all his youth was in the
-cry. "You sacrifice _me_ with such composure! You give yourself to have
-your life sucked out of you by this vampire shape of the past. And it is
-me you rob! It is my life you immolate, as well as your own! What of my
-claim on life--my claim on you? You have no conception of what you are
-to me, or you could not speak of shutting me out from you; you could not
-think of sending me away! You could not speak so--think so--if you loved
-me!"
-
-From her chair she now looked up at him, not with weariness, with a look
-curiously vivid and tender. "You speak like a boy," she said.
-
-Damier flung himself on his knees beside her. "And you think that I can
-leave you when you can look at me like that--love me like that!"
-
-"Because I do." She let him take her hands, and went on, almost smiling
-at him: "Because I love you like that, and because you love me like
-that, and because I am so much older than you--can't you feel it? how
-like a little boy--passionate, unruly in his grief--you seem to me! And
-because, in spite of my age and your boyishness, we do yet love each
-other so greatly that the very greatness of our love makes the question
-of our being together or apart really of not such significance."
-
-"Of not such significance!" poor Damier cried. "I am to find you in
-heaven, then!"
-
-"Probably." She did smile now, but he guessed that it was the brave
-smile she could summon over anguish. He guessed that her feeling of his
-boyishness was less apparent to her than her feeling of his power over
-her, his right to her. She might never yield to the power, never own to
-the right, but to guess that she felt them was assurance enough for the
-moment, and the pallor of the face that smiled at him was a reproach to
-him.
-
-"No, no," he said; "I shall keep you there--and I shall keep you here,
-too. I will rescue you. I will find out the way. And I will leave you
-now and give you peace for a little while. You are terribly tired."
-
-"Terribly," she assented. "It is kind and generous of you to go now."
-
-"But my going is to be taken as no token of submission. I will return."
-
-"To say good-by."
-
-"So you say."
-
-"So you will do." And she still smiled, all tenderness, all
-inflexibility.
-
-"Never, never, never!" said Damier.
-
-
-
-
-XVII
-
-
-DAMIER, for his own part, felt no need of peace. A
-passionate protestation, a passionate determination, filled him. At his
-hotel, as if in answer to vague plans and projects, the figure of
-Monsieur Daunay, rising from a chair, confronted him. From Monsieur
-Daunay's relief and alacrity he guessed that he had been waiting there
-for some time--ever since, he further guessed, his conversation with
-Claire.
-
-"You have heard?" asked Monsieur Daunay, and a host of questions looked
-from his eyes.
-
-"That you have proposed to Mademoiselle Vicaud, yes; and that she has
-answered you, I fear, not favorably; yes, I have heard."
-
-"You have seen her?"
-
-"I was with her mother, speaking with her of it, when Claire came."
-
-"I have intruded thus upon you," said Monsieur Daunay, "in the faint
-hope that you might be able, after seeing her, to give me some
-encouragement, since from her I could elicit none. She was sullen,
-silent, reproached me for my haste. After all these years!" Monsieur
-Daunay groaned, and dropped again into his chair, folding his arms and
-bowing his head in a despairing acquiescence to fate's cruelty. "After
-all these years!" he repeated.
-
-Damier saw down a long vista of them, sunny with the encouraging smiles
-of the charming Claire.
-
-"You have assured me," Daunay presently said, "that you were not the
-cause of this change in Claire."
-
-It was a rather perplexing question, but Damier was able truthfully to
-answer it with: "I can again assure you that it is only through her
-relation with her mother that Claire interests me."
-
-"And so she has assured me, again and again, and that all her affection
-was for me. And yet, now that I can claim her--now that I come, trusting
-and hoping, she turns from me; she mutters that I am too old; not rich
-enough. Ah, _mon Dieu_!"
-
-Claire, clearly, Damier also saw, had never endangered her certain hold
-upon Monsieur Daunay's usefulness by confessing to him her expectation
-of larger achievements. She would evade him, and hold him, as long as
-she had need of him.
-
-Part of her anger to-day had, no doubt, been due to the fact that the
-sudden crisis had forced her into a decisive attitude toward him while
-yet uncertain that she could with safety give him up. Yet, indeed, she
-had been able to avoid absolute decisiveness--so Monsieur Daunay's next
-words proved:
-
-"She told me that all her affection was still mine, but owned to higher
-ambitions; she had never, she said, hidden from me that she was
-ambitious, and life now was opening new possibilities to her. Could
-affection and ambition be combined, had I a large fortune to gild my
-middle age and my unimportance, she would at once marry me."
-
-"She is utterly unworthy of you," said Damier.
-
-At this a faint, ironic smile crossed the Frenchman's face. "Ah, _mon
-ami_," he said, "you need not tell me that. If I love Claire, do not
-imagine, as I told you last night, that I am blinded by my love. I love
-her _d'un amour fou_--and I recognize it. She possesses me; she can do
-what she will with me; I should forgive her anything. But I know that I
-am a captive--and to no noble captor."
-
-"Just heavens!" Damier broke out, indifferent, in his indignant pity, to
-his own interests, "shake off this obsession--and her with it! Leave
-her; go away; do not see her again. What misery if you were to marry
-her!"
-
-"What will you? I adore her!" His helplessness seemed final. He
-presently went on: "But I came to-day to ask for your help. You occupy
-a peculiar position toward Madame Vicaud and her daughter; you have
-influence with them both. Use it in my favor, I beg of you. Intercede
-for me."
-
-"Any influence I have shall, I promise you, be devoted to that purpose.
-I can hardly hope that your hopes will be realized; their realization
-could not be for your happiness. Pardon me, but have you never suspected
-that Claire is like her father--that she, too, is a miserable creature?"
-
-For a long moment Daunay looked at him.
-
-"She is like her father," he then said; "but have you never suspected,
-or, rather, do you not now see, that, because of that, my claim is all
-the stronger? What man not knowing it, marrying her in ignorance of it,
-would not repent? I should never repent. She is like him, if you will,
-but she is, irrevocably, the woman I love. More than that, she is the
-child I love; I have watched her grow up. From the beginning, she has
-been _ma petite Claire_; so she will be to the end--whatever that end
-may be."
-
-Monsieur Daunay spoke with a profound feeling, a profound sincerity that
-the emotional tremor of his voice, the emotional tears in his eyes, only
-made the more characteristic and touching to Damier. He got up and
-grasped the Frenchman's hand in silence.
-
-A knock at the door broke upon this compact of sympathy; a garçon
-brought a card to Damier and said that the lady waited for him in the
-salon below. The card was Lady Surfex's, and on it was written:
-
- Must see you at once, on most important matter concerning Madame V.
-
-"Wait for me here," Damier said to Monsieur Daunay. "This may concern
-you as well as me."
-
-He found Lady Surfex in the drearily gaudy salon, her face ominous of
-ill tidings.
-
-"My dear Eustace," she said,--they were alone, yet her voice was
-discreetly low,--"a horrid thing has happened--or is going to. I thought
-it best to come to you at once. Claire Vicaud runs away to-night with
-Lord Epsil."
-
-And, as he stared at her in stricken silence:
-
-"I found it out by chance. I was at Mrs. Wallingham's. They were
-there--Mademoiselle Vicaud and Lord Epsil. I watched them, indeed, with
-some uneasiness, as they sat, with ostentatious retirement, in a dim
-corner. I saw them go out together. Do you know, Eustace, my distrust of
-that girl and of that man--in justice to her, I must say it--was so
-great that I really was on the point of following them--asking her to
-let me drive her home; but I hesitated, people I knew came in, I had to
-speak to them, and so some time went by. Then, about half an hour after
-they were gone, Mrs. Wallingham came to me and whispered that a maid--a
-discreet English person who was dispensing tea in the dining-room--had
-overheard Lord Epsil saying to Mademoiselle Vicaud that they would take
-the night train to Dinard, and that his yacht was there. The woman came
-at once to her mistress. And now, Eustace, what can be done to save
-_her_?" They both knew to whom the pronoun referred; a conventional
-saving of Claire had significance only in reference to her mother.
-
-Damier was steadying his thoughts.
-
-"The night train." He looked at his watch. "There is time," he said.
-
-"For what, Eustace?"
-
-"There is only one chance. One can't appeal to her heart, or
-conscience--or even, it seems, to her ambition; but one might to her
-greed--offer her some firmer, surer competence. I had thought of it
-dimly before. I could catch that Dinard train--go with them--find some
-opportunity for seeing her alone before they reach Dinard--or before
-they reach the yacht."
-
-"But, Eustace," her helpless wonder reproached his baseless optimism,
-"what _could_ you do? You can't beard the man; she is of age--goes
-willingly. What a situation!"
-
-"I could offer her half of my income for life, if she would consent to
-return with me, and to marry a man who is devoted to her--who, I think,
-would forgive anything."
-
-"Eustace, it would leave you almost poor!"
-
-"Not quite, since the half is large enough, I trust, to tempt her! The
-whole would not be too much to give to save _her_ from this final blow."
-
-"But can you--this man--will he?"
-
-"He is up-stairs. I will see him, and start at once."
-
-"And, Eustace--wait; can't we keep it from her--can't we think of some
-good lie?"
-
-He had almost to smile at her intently thoughtful face.
-
-"What possible lie can we think of? Claire will not come back
-to-night--she must know, sooner or later."
-
-"But it is for to-night I want to spare her. Ah, I have it--no lie,
-either. I merely send a telegram, 'Claire may not return to-night: will
-explain to-morrow,' signed with my name; she will think Claire is
-passing the night with me; and then, you know, the girl may, at the last
-moment, decide not to go."
-
-Damier had to yield to her eagerness. Up-stairs the words he had with
-Daunay were short, bitter, decisive. Averting his eyes from the
-unfortunate man's face, he put the case before him. He turned his back
-on him when he had spoken, went to the window, left him to an unobserved
-quaffing of the poisonous cup.
-
-Monsieur Daunay's first words showed that he had quaffed it bravely and
-that his reason still stood firm.
-
-"She must be mad," he said; "it is not like her."
-
-"No, it is not like her. And I may tell you that I suspect revenge to be
-in part her motive. She had a terrible quarrel with her mother this
-afternoon."
-
-Damier turned now and faced him.
-
-"And now, Monsieur Daunay, are you willing to save her?"
-
-"I am ready," the Frenchman said quietly; "with your help, I am ready to
-save her."
-
-"I go at once, and with that assurance, then?"
-
-"Yes; I am ready. Tell her that. Tell her, too, that if her mother will
-not receive her, she will find a home at my cousin's until our marriage
-can take place."
-
-"Her mother will receive her," said Damier. "As you have forgiven, so
-she will forgive."
-
-
-
-
-XVIII
-
-
-THE long, hot, rushing hours had passed, for Damier, in
-a sort of stupor, the anæsthesia of one fixed idea. In the stuffy
-railway-carriage, his eyes on the dark square of the open window, where
-one saw vaguely the starlit depths of a midsummer night, he thought,
-with the odd detachment of a crisis, of the past day: the sunny morning
-walk with Claire--green leaves, purple shadows; the afternoon's supreme
-moment--a deep pulse of wonder in his heart, hardly to be seen in
-images; Lady Surfex among the palms and monstrous gilded pottery of the
-hotel salon; Monsieur Daunay's quiet, white face; the crowded Paris
-railway-station, and the glimpse he had caught in it of Claire and Lord
-Epsil. This most recent impression was also the most vivid, threw all
-the others into a blurred background where, with a new look of woe, only
-Madame Vicaud's face glimmered clearly.
-
-The enforced pause at the height of his resolution made both the past
-and the future half illusory. The present, with not its usual flashing
-impermanence, had, for hours, been the same, had stopped, as it were, at
-an instant of vigilant alertness, and held him in it rigidly. Until the
-object of that vigilance, that alertness, were attained, he could not
-look forward or make projects. The chance for seeing Claire alone could
-not come, probably, until Dinard was reached. There, in the hurry of
-arrival, he might snatch a word with her. It would only be necessary to
-speak the word, to put the alternative before her. Entreaty would be
-useless; all the argument possible was the chink of gold in two hands;
-all the hope, that his chink might be the louder.
-
-Shortly after ten o'clock the train drew up in the Rennes station.
-Damier had let no such opportunity escape him, and he again stepped from
-his compartment and stood looking toward the part of the train where he
-knew were Claire and her cavalier. As he looked he saw the tall figure
-of the Englishman stroll across the platform to the refreshment-buffet.
-The light fell full on his long, smooth, pink face,--a papier-mâché
-pink,--on his long, high nose and whity-brown mustache. Damier darted
-forward. In an instant he was at the door, still ajar, of the
-compartment that Lord Epsil had just left. He saw, under the yellow
-glare of the lamp, a confusion of traveling-bags, rugs, bandboxes
-(Claire had evidently shopped), newspapers and magazines; a large box of
-bonbons lay on a seat, its contents half rifled, its papers strewing the
-floor; and, settled back in a corner, her shoulders huddled together in
-a graceful sleepiness, was Claire. A long silk traveling-cloak fell over
-her white dress; the winged white hat of the morning was pushed a little
-to one side as her head leaned against the cushioned carriage; a
-drooping curve of loosened hair, shining in the light like molten brass,
-fell over her cheek and neck; her profile, half hidden, was at once
-petulant and relaxed with drowsiness.
-
-Damier did not hesitate. He sprang into the carriage. Not touching the
-girl, he leaned over her. "Claire," he said.
-
-In an instant she had started into erectness, staring stupefied, too
-stupefied for shame or anger.
-
-"I have only a moment," said Damier, speaking with a clear-cut dryness
-of utterance. "If you will come back with me, and marry Monsieur
-Daunay,--he knows all and will marry you,--half of my income is yours
-for life."
-
-After the first stare she had blinked in opening her eyes to the light
-and to the sudden apparition; the eyes were now fixed widely on him;
-they looked like two deep, black holes.
-
-"It is a bribe," she said.
-
-"Call it so if you will."
-
-"It shows your scorn for me."
-
-"Comprehension of you, rather."
-
-"And if I don't?"
-
-"If you don't I will challenge this man--and fight him. I am an
-excellent fencer, an excellent shot."
-
-She looked at him, half scoffing, yet half believing. "Englishmen don't
-fight duels."
-
-"This one will."
-
-"He might kill you."
-
-"I might kill him; you would have to take the risk."
-
-She shrugged her shoulders. "_Bien!_ I understand, too. I will fulfil
-myself." She half rose, then sank again. "How much?" He mentioned the
-sum--not a small one. "Make it two thirds," said Claire, keeping her
-dilated eyes upon him with an effect of final and defiant revelation.
-
-"Two thirds, then," he assented, in the steadied voice of one who does
-not dare hurry indecision. Yet, even now, she did not rise.
-
-"One more condition, please. I do not see my mother again. Let us say,
-if you like, that I am ashamed to meet her."
-
-"She has not been told--of this."
-
-"Yes, she has," said Claire. "I wrote and told her." There was the
-satisfaction of achievement in the way she said it. "Oh, yes; she
-knows."
-
-"Yet, even after that,--your vengeance, I suppose,--I hardly dare make
-the promise for her,--she can forgive--even this."
-
-"Ah," and the hoarse note was in Claire's voice, "but I can't take
-forgiveness from her. I have left the world where such episodes as this
-need forgiveness. Tolerance is now all that I will endure--and she will
-never tolerate. No; I will not come with you; I will not return to
-Monsieur Daunay and to respectability--unless you promise that I shall
-never see her again."
-
-"I promise it, then, if it is the condition."
-
-"You accept? _Bien!_" Claire sprang up, and ripping an illustration from
-a magazine, she scribbled on the blank back, "Have decided, after all,
-that I won't come," transfixed it with a hat-pin to the cushioned back
-of Lord Epsil's vacated seat, then, as rapidly, reached for two of the
-bandboxes, pulled them, rattling, from the racks, stooped and jerked a
-large pasteboard box from under a seat, and, encumbered as she already
-was, caught up from among the rugs and bags several smaller packages,
-dexterously holding them to her sides with her elbows.
-
-Damier, who had stared, hardly comprehending, gripped her wrist. "Put
-them down." She gazed round in sincere amazement; then, with quite a
-humorous laugh, dropped the booty. "I really forgot! No, it wouldn't be
-fair play, would it?--though, I confess, I should like to take a little
-vengeance; he has irritated me, been too complacent, too assured. This,
-too?" She touched the silk traveling-cloak. Damier, without speaking,
-stripped it off her; then, catching her by the arm, he almost dragged
-her from the carriage, for her feet stumbled among the dressing-cases
-and the abandoned boxes.
-
-He found, as they almost ran along the dim platform across to the one
-opposite, and as he pushed her into a compartment of the Paris train
-that stood there, that she was laughing. The adventure of it, the
-excitement, Lord Epsil's discomfiture, appealed, evidently, to her sense
-of mirth.
-
-There were other occupants of the carriage, and Damier was thankful for
-it. He did not want to talk to Claire. To reproach her would make him as
-ridiculous as beating a tin pan in the expectation of response other
-than a mocking cachinnation; not to reproach might seem to condone by
-comprehension. Yet, as she sank back into a corner, settled her shoulder
-in it, he saw that there was emotion under the laughter, that it was not
-only the tin-pan rattle. He could interpret it as almost a regret--a
-regret for something against which she had always rebelled, from which
-she had now finally freed herself, a sudden realization that forever she
-had lost the standing upon which he had found her. Yet, over this trace
-of emotion and suffering, that, to Damier, was more piteous than
-anything he had yet seen in her, she smiled at him, with half-dropped
-lids. It was the look, with her a new one, of brazening a shame. Already
-her nature had retaliated upon the wrong she had done it by fixing in
-her face a more apparent ugliness of expression. She glanced round at
-the sleepy, respectable occupants of the carriage, their sleepiness,
-however, keeping an eye upon this startling young person in her white
-dress.
-
-"Before we relapse into an irrevocable silence," she said, "let me
-inform you--it will complete your evil opinion of me--that I didn't
-really care about him; I cared for his caring about me--though at
-moments even that fatigued me, _il m'embêtait quelquefois_; but then, I
-was glad to be revenged."
-
-"Upon whom? For what?"
-
-"Upon you both--for making me feel that I was not of your world."
-
-"We did not make you feel it, Claire."
-
-For some moments they were silent, as the train moved slowly from the
-station, and then she said:
-
-"Where will you take me?"
-
-"To his cousin's, Mademoiselle Daunay's. I have arranged all with him."
-
-A look, almost tremulous under its attempt at a light sneer, crossed her
-face.
-
-"What forgiveness! _Il est un peu lâche, vous savez._"
-
-"Try, Claire, to deserve such touching _lâcheté_."
-
-Again Claire was, for some moments, silent; then, yawning slightly, yet,
-again his acuteness guessed, affectedly, she said, settling her shoulder
-more decisively in her corner:
-
-"There is the more hope for my deserving it since now I am rich. You may
-make your mind easy about my future. I have got all that I ever really
-wanted." It was the new and brazen note over the new shame; but as he
-looked at the face that first pretended to sleep, and that eventually
-did sleep, was not the brass the curious, anomalous shield that nature
-put around something growing--around a soul that at last, with a faint,
-half-conscious thrill, felt upon it the awakening breath of suffering?
-
-
-
-
-XIX
-
-
-THE morning was still fresh when Damier walked down the
-Rue B---- next day. Clear early sunlight fell upon the houses opposite
-Madame Vicaud's, glittering on their upper windows, gilding their
-austerity; but the depths of the street were still cool and unshadowed.
-
-The concierge was sweeping out the courtyard, and fixed on Damier a
-cogitating eye; his early visit and Claire's absence were, no doubt, to
-her vigilant curiosity, symptoms of something unusual. The cogitation,
-though mingled with relief, was repeated at the door above in
-Angélique's look. She was plainly glad to see him. Madame Vicaud had sat
-up all night, she volunteered, quite as if accepting him as a member of
-the family, privileged to confidences; she thought that madame had hoped
-for mademoiselle's return, and she feared that the letter that had
-arrived from mademoiselle an hour before had much distressed madame.
-Perhaps Monsieur Damier could persuade her to have some coffee; she had
-eaten no dinner the night before, nor breakfast this morning. Damier
-promised to persuade, and Angélique ushered him into the salon.
-
-He had never before seen it flooded with sunlight,--for this was his
-first morning visit,--and the windows overlooking the garden faced a
-radiant sky.
-
-His eyes were dazzled, and the dark figure that rose to meet him seemed
-to waver in the light.
-
-The calamity that had befallen her, at variance with the joyous setting
-in which he found her, showed in her white face--her eyes, still, as it
-were, astonished from the shock, dark with misery and a night of
-watching. On the table near which she had been sitting were a burnt-out
-candle, Lady Surfex's telegram of the night before, and a letter,
-opening its large displayal of vigorous handwriting to the revealing
-day: Claire's handwriting, Claire's letter of farewell. Damier took
-Madame Vicaud's hands and looked at her; the astonishment of her eyes
-hurt him more than their dry misery: after all, then, she had been so
-unprepared.
-
-"I know all," she said.
-
-"Not all."
-
-"She has left me--with that man; she has written to me."
-
-"Not all," he repeated.
-
-"Is there more? There cannot be worse."
-
-"There is better. She is safe."
-
-"Safe? Do you mean that she did not go?"
-
-Her eyes, with their sudden leap of light, burned him.
-
-"No; she did go. But I followed them; I brought her back."
-
-"Back to me? She was frightened at what she had done?" she again asked,
-her eyes still burning, but more dimly, upon him. His eyes dropped
-before them; looking down at the wasted hands he held, he said:
-
-"No, dearest, not to you--to Monsieur Daunay. She is to marry him. She
-is with his cousin now."
-
-Her vigil had evidently been tearless; even the arrival that morning of
-the fatal letter had not melted her frozen terror. But now, as she
-looked speechlessly at him, the long rise of a sob heaved her breast;
-her hands slid from his; she sank into a chair, and resting her crossed
-arms upon the table, she bent her head upon them and wept and shuddered.
-In the sunny stillness of the room the young man stood beside her. He
-felt an alien before this intimate, maternal anguish. She did not weep
-for long. She presently sat upright, dried her eyes, and pushed back her
-hair, keeping her hand pressed tightly, for a moment, on her forehead,
-as if in an effort to regain her long habit of self-control; and as if
-to gain time, to hide the painful effort from him, she pointed to
-Claire's letter. "Read it," she said.
-
-It was Claire's most callous, most ugly self; its passion of hatred and
-revenge hardly masked itself in the metallic tone of mockery. They were
-both well rid of her--her dear Mamma and her dear Mamma's suitor. They
-were far too good for her, and she justified them by showing them how
-far too bad she was for them. Pursuit and reproaches were useless. She
-feared that her dear Mamma's ermine robe of respectability must be
-permanently spotted by a daughter notoriously naughty--for she did not
-intend to hide her new situation. But perhaps the daughter could be
-lived down as the daughter's father had been. And on, and on--short
-phrases, lava-jets from the seething volcano of base vulgarity; Damier
-felt them burn his own cheek while he read.
-
-Madame Vicaud's eyes were on his when he raised them; but quickly
-looking away from him, she said: "It came this morning. Last night I
-could not understand that telegram; I could not believe that she would
-not return. I felt that something was being hidden from me; it was like
-battling in a stifling black air. And then--this came." He had laid the
-letter beside her, and she touched it with her finger, as if it had been
-a snake. "This--this end of all!"
-
-"She is safe," Damier repeated rather helplessly.
-
-"Safe!" the mother echoed. Leaning her head against the chair-back, she
-closed her eyes. Lovely and dignified even in her disgrace, nothing
-could smirch and nothing could abase her; she had never looked so noble
-as at this moment of dreadful defeat and overthrow. "And how have you
-saved her?" she asked. "What did Monsieur Daunay have to offer--what did
-you have to offer--to bring her back--since it was not repentance? It
-was not repentance?"
-
-"No; but I believe that she was glad to come. I--I dowered Claire," said
-Damier, after a momentary pause.
-
-Madame Vicaud, still keeping her eyes closed, was silent. He leaned over
-her and took her hand. "All that I have is yours. You dowered her, let
-us say."
-
-"What do you mean by dowering her?" she asked.
-
-"I have given her two thirds of my income for life."
-
-Her hand in his was chill and passive; he felt in her the cold shudder
-of shame.
-
-"Ah," he said, "from me--from me you do not resent such saving?"
-
-"Resent?--from you?" she said gently. "No, no; it is of her I am
-thinking. No; you did well, very well to save her--if we may call it
-saving. You have washed the spots from my respectability. We both know
-the value of such washing; but it is best--best to have us all
-respectable,"--a bitter smile touched her lips,--"since it is that we
-prize so. And were there no other inducements?"
-
-"There was a condition,"--he had to nerve himself to the speaking of
-it,--"that she did not see you again. She has, by her own wish, broken
-the bond between you. She has left your life."
-
-Madame Vicaud clenched her hands, and her chin trembled.
-
-"Yet--let me tell you," he said, "I believe that there is more hope for
-Claire so left in the evil and abasement she has made about herself than
-if she were to have remained with you; all the forces of her nature were
-engaged in resistance, or in a pretended submission that bided its time.
-Now she must do battle with the world on a level where life will teach
-her lessons she can understand. She has severed herself completely from
-you--she has completely fulfilled herself. Some new blossoming may
-follow; who knows?"
-
-"But no blossoming for me. I shall not see it," said Madame Vicaud. "My
-life has been useless."
-
-Useless? He wondered over her past, her long efforts, this wreck.
-
-Could goodness, however clear-sighted, however divine in its
-comprehension and pity, prevent evil from working itself out,
-fulfilling itself? Was not its working out perhaps its salvation?
-
-"How can you tell?" he said. "You have done your work for her."
-
-"I have done nothing for her. Everything has failed." Still, with closed
-eyes, she leaned her head against the chair, and slow tears fell down
-her cheeks.
-
-"You have fulfilled yourself toward her; that is not failure. You have
-fought your fight. Surely it is the fighting, and not its result, that
-makes success. And can you say that everything has failed--when you
-still have me to live for? Claire has gone out of your life. She has
-shut the door on you. She has left you, and--oh, dearest, dearest, she
-has left you to me!"
-
-He stood before her, looking at her with faithful eyes. His love for her
-made no menace to her grief; it did not jar upon her sorrow; rather it
-was with her in it all, it could not: be separated from it--as he could
-not be separated from any part of her life.
-
-"You are alone now," he said, "and I am alone."
-
-"No,"--she put her hand out to him,--"no; we are not alone."
-
-"Then--" The air was golden, and in the open window, white flowers, set
-there, dazzled against the sky. This day of sunlight and disaster must
-symbolize the past and the future, as her eyes, with their silent,
-solemn assent, her face, so sweet and so sorrowful. She rose; he drew
-her toward him. But then, as though another consecration than embrace
-and kiss were needed for this strange betrothal, she walked with him,
-holding his hand, to the window, where the white flowers dazzled in the
-sun. She looked at the flowers, at the trees, at the splendid serenity
-of the morning sky, softly breathing the clear, radiant air--as though
-in "a peace out of pain."
-
-"We will go away," said Damier, who looked at her; and, despite his
-sorrowing for her, the day seemed to him full of wings and music. "I do
-not want to see Paris again, do you? And this will be our last memory
-of it--these flowers, this garden, this sky, that we look at together.
-We will think of it so, without pain almost, in a new, new life."
-
-"A new life," she repeated gently and vaguely. Lifting his hand, she
-kissed it. "You have rescued me from the old one. You are my angel of
-resurrection," she said.
-
-Yet that the future was dim to her, except through his faith in
-it,--that, indeed, it could never become an unshadowed brightness,--he
-knew, as, leaning against him, needing protection from her bitter
-thoughts, she murmured in the anguish of her desolate and bereaved
-motherhood: "Oh--but my child!"
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rescue, by Anne Douglas Sedgwick
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-<pre>
-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rescue, by Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Rescue
-
-Author: Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-
-Release Date: February 25, 2013 [EBook #42194]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE RESCUE ***
-
-
-
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-Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
-produced from images available at The Internet Archive)
-
-
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-</pre>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/cover_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="353" height="550" alt="bookcover" title="bookcover" />
-</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="cb"><span class="eng">The Rescue</span></p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/frontispiece_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/frontispiece.jpg" width="361" height="550"
-class="figcenterbrd"
-alt="frontispiece" title="frontispiece" /></a>
-</p>
-
-<div class="boxx">
-<div class="boxxx">
-<h1>The Rescue</h1>
-
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<p class="cb">BY<br />
-<span class="eng"><big>Anne Douglas Sedgwick</big></span><br />
-<small>AUTHOR OF “THE CONFOUNDING OF CAMELIAâ€<br />
-“THE DULL MISS ARCHINARDâ€</small><br />
-<br /><br /><br />
-<img src="images/colophon.png"
-width="100"
-height="100"
-alt="colophon"
-/><br />
-<br /><br /><br />
-NEW YORK<br />
-<span class="eng">The Century Co.</span><br />
-1902</p>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<p class="c">
-<small>Copyright, 1901, 1902, by<br />
-T<small>HE</small> C<small>ENTURY</small> C<small>O</small>.<br />
-&mdash;&mdash;<br />
-<i>Published May, 1902</i><br />
-<br />
-<span class="sans">THE DEVINNE PRESS.</span></small>
-</p>
-
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<p class="cb">
-TO<br />
-G. S. S.<br />
-AND<br />
-M. D. S.</p>
-
-<p><a name="page_001" id="page_001"></a>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<p><a name="page_002" id="page_002"></a>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<p class="c">
-<a href="#I"><b>Chapter: I, </b></a>
-<a href="#II"><b>II, </b></a>
-<a href="#III"><b>III, </b></a>
-<a href="#IV"><b>IV, </b></a>
-<a href="#V"><b>V, </b></a>
-<a href="#VI"><b>VI, </b></a>
-<a href="#VII"><b>VII, </b></a>
-<a href="#VIII"><b>VIII, </b></a>
-<a href="#IX"><b>IX, </b></a>
-<a href="#X"><b>X, </b></a>
-<a href="#XI"><b>XI, </b></a>
-<a href="#XII"><b>XII, </b></a>
-<a href="#XIII"><b>XIII, </b></a>
-<a href="#XIV"><b>XIV, </b></a>
-<a href="#XV"><b>XV, </b></a>
-<a href="#XVI"><b>XVI, </b></a>
-<a href="#XVII"><b>XVII, </b></a>
-<a href="#XVIII"><b>XVIII, </b></a>
-<a href="#XIX"><b>XIX.</b></a>
-</p>
-
-<p><a name="page_003" id="page_003"></a>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<h1>T H E &nbsp; R E S C U E</h1>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/decor.png" width="30" height="18" alt="" title="" />
-</p>
-
-<h2><a name="I" id="I"></a>I</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_E.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_E_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="75"
-alt="E"
-/></span></a>USTACE DAMIER bent his long, melancholy profile over
-the photograph-album. It was an old-fashioned album; its faded morocco
-cover, its gilt clasp loosened with age, went with the quiet
-old-fashioned little room, that had no intentions, made no efforts, and
-yet was full of meaning, with the charm of an epoch near enough to be
-easily understood, yet with a grace and a pathos in its modern antiquity
-deeper than that possessed by a more romantic remoteness. It was the
-sort of little drawing-room where one’s mother might have accepted one’s
-father: one could not quite see one’s present<a name="page_004" id="page_004"></a> in it, but one saw a near
-and a dear past. The gray wall-paper with its flecked gold flower, the
-curved lines of the sedately ornamental chairs and sofas, the crisp yet
-faded chintzes, the wedded vases on the marble mantelpiece, the books,
-well worn, on stands, the group of family silhouettes on the wall, the
-cheerful floral carpet&mdash;all made a picture curiously unlike the early
-nineties, and fully characteristic of the sixties. There were many
-flowers about the room, arranged with a cheerful regularity; the very
-roses looked old-fashioned in their closely grouped bunches; and in a
-corner stood a tall étagère bearing potted plants in rows that narrowed
-to an apex. Between curtains, carefully drawn, of white lace and green
-rep, one saw a strip of garden brilliantly illuminated with sunlight.</p>
-
-<p>It was in just such a room and in such surroundings that Damier had
-imagined seeing again his old friend, and his mother’s friend, Mrs.
-Mostyn. He always associated her with a sprightly conservatism.<a name="page_005" id="page_005"></a> With a
-genial, yet detached, appreciation of modern taste, she would be
-placidly faithful to the taste of her girlhood. The house, he
-remembered, had been her mother’s, and its contents had probably
-remained as they were when her mother’s death put her in possession of
-it. He remembered Mrs. Mostyn’s caps, her cameos, her rings, her
-bracelet with the plaited hair in it, her jests, too, and her
-gaieties&mdash;all with a perfume of potpourri, with a niceness and
-exactitude of simile that had not attempted to keep pace with the
-complexities, the allusiveness and elusiveness, of modern humor.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Mostyn had lived for many years in this small country house; she
-had entered it as a childless widow after a life of some color and
-movement, her husband having been a promising diplomat, whose death in
-early middle age had cut short a career that had not yet found an
-opportunity of rising from promise to any large achievement. After his
-death Mrs. Mostyn devoted herself to books, to her garden,<a name="page_006" id="page_006"></a> her poor
-people, and her friends. Her house was not adapted to a large
-hospitality, but one of these friends was usually with her. Damier,
-however, was only paying a call. He had never visited Mrs. Mostyn; she
-had visited his mother in London, and since his mother had died he had
-been little in England. Now he was staying with the Halbournes, eight
-miles away.</p>
-
-<p>The atmosphere of the room, as he waited, the stillness of the warm,
-fragrant garden outside, combined to make a half-tender, half-melancholy
-mood, in which an impression, quickly felt, is long remembered. Such an
-impression awaited him in the old photograph-album. It had been natural
-to see there his mother’s gentle, thoughtful face&mdash;first of a
-round-cheeked girl, looking like a Thackeray heroine, and, later, the
-face he knew so well, fatigued, sad, yet smiling under gray hair;
-natural to see his father, with dreaming eyes and the fine head of the
-thinker; to see aunts and uncles, his dead sister, and<a name="page_007" id="page_007"></a> himself: but it
-was with the half-painful, half-joyous shock of something wholly
-unfamiliar, wholly arresting, strongly significant, that he came upon
-the photograph of an unknown lady. It was a faded carte-de-visite, and
-the small lettering on the cardboard edge spoke of Paris and of some
-bygone photographer. The lady was portrayed in a conventional pose and
-without modern accessories, leaning one arm in its sleeve of flowing
-silk on the back of a high chair, a hand hanging, half hidden, against
-the folds of her silken skirt. She was dressed after the fashion of the
-late sixties, in that of the Second Empire; yet, though her dress spoke
-of France, as the photograph had done, and spoke charmingly, her face
-was not that of a French-woman. One’s first impression&mdash;not too
-superficial, either&mdash;was of a finished little <i>mondaine;</i> but finished,
-poised, serene as she was, she could not be more than twenty&mdash;indeed, as
-Damier reflected, youth at that time was not a lengthy epoch, as in
-ours. She was slender, the leaning<a name="page_008" id="page_008"></a> bust and arm rounded, the hand long.
-Her face was heart-shaped; the dark hair, parted over the forehead and
-drawn up fully from the brows, emphasized the width across the eyes, the
-narrowness of the face below; the lips were firm and delicate. Of her
-eyes one saw chiefly the gaze and the darkness under a sweep of straight
-eyebrow. And Damier had passed at once through these surface impressions
-to an essential one: her head was the most enchanting he had ever seen,
-and her eyes, as they looked at him, had a message for him. Man of the
-modern world as he was, he stood looking back at this dim, enchanting
-face; stood trying to interpret its message over the chasm made by more
-than two decades; stood wondering what she meant to him. He was wrapped
-in this sensation&mdash;of a spell woven about him, of an outstretching from
-the past, of something mysterious and urgent&mdash;when Mrs. Mostyn came in.<a name="page_009" id="page_009"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="II" id="II"></a>II</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_M.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_M_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="75"
-alt="M"
-/></span></a>RS. MOSTYN had changed little since he had last seen
-her five years ago in London. Her hair, under the laces of her cap, was
-whiter; her rosiness and plumpness&mdash;her little hands were especially
-fat&mdash;more accentuated: but the gaiety and kindness were the same. As
-much as in the past she entered into all his interests: asked questions
-about his three years at the English embassy in Rome, about his recent
-travels, what he had done, what he intended to do. When all
-reminiscences were over, all plans discussed, and when Mrs. Mostyn had
-sketched for him, with her crisp, nipping definitiveness, the people of
-the neighborhood, Damier, who during all the talk had kept the album in
-his hand, his forefinger<a name="page_010" id="page_010"></a> between the leaves at the place where the
-enchanted photograph had looked at him, said, opening the book: “I have
-been immersing myself in the past. Is anything so full of its feeling as
-an old photograph-album? <i>Çà sent le temps</i>, and I have made a discovery
-there. Who is this?†He held out the opened page to her, and Mrs.
-Mostyn, adjusting her eye-glasses, looked.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, yes. Is she not charming?â€</p>
-
-<p>“She has charmed me. She is wonderful.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Her story was certainly rather wonderful. And she always charmed me,
-too, though I knew her only slightly, and saw her for only a short time.
-I met her in Paris when I was there with my husband. She was a Miss
-Chanfrey&mdash;Clara Chanfrey, a younger branch of the Bectons, you know.
-Clara had come out in London the year before. Lady Chanfrey, an
-ambitious woman, had, I fancy, determined on a brilliant match for her,
-and it seemed about to be realized, for Lord Pemleigh followed them to
-Paris, where Clara’s beauty<a name="page_011" id="page_011"></a> made a furor&mdash;she was thought lovelier than
-the Empress. As I remember her there was really no comparison; she was
-far lovelier. I can see her now: one night at the Tuileries&mdash;she wore a
-white gauze dress and lilies-of-the-valley in her hair; and at the
-opera, Lord Pemleigh in the box, a hard, impassive man, but he was,
-report said, desperately enamoured; and, again, riding in the Bois in
-the flowing habit of the time. There was an air of serious blitheness
-about her; yet under the blitheness I felt always an eagerness, a
-waiting. She always seemed to be waiting, and to smile and talk <i>pour
-passer le temps</i>&mdash;to make the something that was coming come more
-quickly. Poor child! it came.â€</p>
-
-<p>“She married Lord Pemleigh?†Damier asked, as Mrs. Mostyn paused, her
-eyes vague with memories.</p>
-
-<p>“No; don’t you remember? He married little Ethel Dunstan&mdash;but only after
-years had passed. No; she did an extraordinary thing&mdash;a dreadful thing.
-She eloped&mdash;<a name="page_012" id="page_012"></a>ran away with a French artist, a man of no family, no
-fortune. He was introduced to the Chanfreys in Paris, and painted
-Clara’s portrait. Very clever it was thought, rather in the style of
-Manet; a full-length portrait&mdash;I saw it&mdash;of Clara in a white lawn dress
-with a green ribbon around her waist and a green ribbon in her black
-hair, and at her throat an emerald locket. Perhaps his very difference
-charmed her, and the distance that separated his world from hers made
-her unable to see him clearly; he was, too, extremely handsome. No
-explanations are needed of why he fell in love; the wealth and the
-position he hoped through her to attain were sufficient reasons, to say
-nothing of her beauty. At all events, Clara proudly avowed that they
-loved each other. One can only imagine the storm. The Chanfreys took her
-back to England; he followed them; and she ran away with him and married
-him. Her family never forgave her. Her father and mother died without
-ever seeing her again, and she refused the small allowance they<a name="page_013" id="page_013"></a> offered
-her. Since those days I have heard only vaguely of her, and heard only
-unhappy things. The man, Jules Vicaud, was a talented brute. With her
-all had been glamour, charm, romance, the sense of generous trust; with
-him calculation and selfishness. He treated her abominably when he found
-that he had gained nothing with her; and he was idle, extravagant,
-dissipated. They became terribly poor. It was a sordid, a horrible
-story;&mdash;a violet dragged in the mud.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier had listened in silence; now, as Mrs. Mostyn handed him back the
-album, and as, once more, the steady gaze met his, “I cannot associate
-her with the gutter,†he said, “nor can I understand this violet
-stooping to it. I should have imagined her too fastidious, too
-intelligent, and, if you will, too conventional to be for one moment
-dazzled by a shoddy bohemian.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Oh,†sighed Mrs. Mostyn, “has delicacy ever been a certificate of
-safety? She was fastidious, she was intelligent, she was<a name="page_014" id="page_014"></a> conventional;
-but she was also idealistic, impulsive, ignorant&mdash;far more ignorant than
-a modern girl would be. Her knowledge of any other world than her own
-was so vague that the very carefulness of her breeding made her
-unconscious of its lack in others; differences she would have thought
-significant only of his greatness and her own littleness. She dazzled
-herself more than he dazzled her, perhaps. And he was, then at least,
-more than the shoddy bohemian. He had grace, power,&mdash;I well remember
-him,&mdash;an apparent indifference to the more petty standards and tests of
-her world that no doubt seemed to her a splendid, courageous
-unworldliness. And then he came at a moment of rebellion, pain, and
-perplexity, as a contrast to the formality, the charmlessness of her
-English suitor. She did not love Lord Pemleigh; her resistance to the
-match had already embittered her relations with her mother&mdash;Lady
-Chanfrey was a high-spirited, clever, cynical woman. And then&mdash;and
-then&mdash;she fell in love with Jules<a name="page_015" id="page_015"></a> Vicaud; that is, after all, the only
-final explanation of these stories.â€</p>
-
-<p>“And she ceased to love him?†He seemed now to interpret the gaze more
-fully. Did it not foresee? Did it not entreat&mdash;though so proudly?</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, I don’t know. All I know is that she stuck to him, and that she was
-miserable. Poor, poor child!†Mrs. Mostyn repeated.</p>
-
-<p>“And is she dead?†he asked after a little pause in which it seemed to
-him that they had thrown flowers on a long-forgotten grave.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Mostyn looked out of the window at the summer sky and sunny garden,
-the effort of difficult recollection on her face.</p>
-
-<p>“I really don’t know&mdash;I really can’t remember. So soon afterward my
-husband died; Lady Chanfrey died; I came here to live. I heard from time
-to time of her misfortunes&mdash;of her death I don’t think I heard; but for
-years now I have heard nothing. How many years ago is it?<a name="page_016" id="page_016"></a> This is ‘95,
-and that was&mdash;oh, it must have been nearly twenty-eight years ago.â€</p>
-
-<p>“So that she would be now?â€</p>
-
-<p>“She would be forty-seven now. If she is alive the story of her life is
-over.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I wonder if it is. I wonder if she is alive.â€</p>
-
-<p>The gaze of the photograph, with all its calm, grew more profound, more
-significant.</p>
-
-<p>“Could you find out?†he asked presently.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Mostyn broke into a laugh that, with its cheery common sense, like
-a gay cockcrow announcing dawn, seemed to dispel the hallucinations of
-night, recall the reality of the present, and set them both firmly in
-their own epoch.</p>
-
-<p>“My dear Eustace! What a dabbler in impressions you are! I won’t say
-dabbler&mdash;seeker-after.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Not after impressions,†said Damier, smiling a little sadly.</p>
-
-<p>“And have you not found anything?†she asked.<a name="page_017" id="page_017"></a></p>
-
-<p>“No; I don’t think I have.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Neither a religion, nor a work, nor a woman!†smiled Mrs. Mostyn. “You
-have always reminded me, Eustace, of that introspective Swiss gentleman
-of the journal. You are always seeking something to which you can give
-yourself unreservedly. But my sad little Clara, even if she would have
-meant something to you, came too early. She missed you by&mdash;how many
-years?&mdash;fifteen at least, Eustace; you were hardly more than a baby when
-that photograph was taken. But she may have had a daughter,&mdash;the
-daughter of the bohemian and the mondaine,&mdash;and you might find there an
-adventure of the heart.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, I don’t care about a daughter&mdash;or about an adventure.â€</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Mostyn glanced at his absorbed, delicate face with a smile baffled
-and quizzical. She controlled, however, any humorous queries, and said
-presently:</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, I might try to find out. I might write to Mrs. Gaston; she knows
-Sir Molyneux<a name="page_018" id="page_018"></a> Chanfrey, Clara’s brother,&mdash;a man I never liked,&mdash;and she
-could ask him.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Pray do.â€</p>
-
-<p>“But I don’t fancy Sir Molyneux is very easy to approach on the subject.
-He and his sister were never sympathetic.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I wish you would find out,†Damier repeated.</p>
-
-<p>“I will, Eustace, and give you a letter of introduction to her if I ever
-find her,†smiled Mrs. Mostyn.<a name="page_019" id="page_019"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="III" id="III"></a>III</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_E.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_E_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="75"
-alt="E"
-/></span></a>USTACE DAMIER was susceptible and fastidious,
-idealistic and skeptical. He was not weak, for he rarely yielded to his
-impressions; but his strength, since nothing had come into his life that
-called for decisive action, was mainly negative. Perfection haunted him,
-and seen beside that inner standard, most experience was tawdry. He was
-quite incapable of loving what he had if he could not have what he
-loved. The vacancy had once been filled, but since his mother’s, his
-sister’s death, it had yawned, oppressive, unresponsive, about him. He
-was no cynic, but he was melancholy. He had gone through life
-alternating between ardor and despondency.</p>
-
-<p>He was amused now, amused and yet<a name="page_020" id="page_020"></a> amazed, by the extraordinary
-impression that the old photograph had made upon him. More than once he
-had drawn back on the verge of a great passion,&mdash;drawn back he could
-hardly have said why,&mdash;feeling that the woman, or he himself, lacked
-something of the qualities that could make them lastingly need each
-other. And now it really seemed to him that he needed, and would need
-lastingly, this woman of thirty years ago; and surely she needed him.
-She called to him, and he answered. He understood her; he loved her.</p>
-
-<p>It was whimsical, absurd, pathetic. He could smile over it, yet under
-the smile some deeper self seemed to smile another smile&mdash;the smile of a
-mystery speaking at last in words that he could not understand, but in a
-voice that he could hear.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Mostyn had yielded the photograph to his determined
-claim,&mdash;laughing at his impudence,&mdash;and he kept it always beside him in
-the weeks that followed his departure from &mdash;&mdash;shire. During those
-weeks, that lengthened into months, no news came,<a name="page_021" id="page_021"></a> and the eagerness of
-his feeling died away. The feeling was still there, but it was like an
-awakened and living memory of an old, dead love. He thought of her as
-dead; it was best so, for he could imagine with repulsion the
-degradation that a harried life in the slimier walks of bohemia might
-have wrought in her had she lived. The sense of half-humorous,
-half-tragic pathos remained with him. He smiled at the photograph every
-day. It represented just what a memory, deep and still, would have
-represented. It said to him, “We have found each other. Now we will
-never part.†And absurdly, deliciously, he felt&mdash;with an instinct that
-fluttered wings high above any net of reason, singing, almost
-invisible&mdash;that what he had missed was waiting for him somewhere.</p>
-
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<p class="nind">O<small>NE</small> day in late autumn, when he had returned to London, something
-happened which changed the character of this unsubstantial romance. He
-met at his club another old friend, a contemporary of Mrs.<a name="page_022" id="page_022"></a> Mostyn’s.
-Sir Henry Quarle was a writer of pleasant reminiscences, a garrulous and
-companionable man about town, who had kept careful pace with the times,
-who, indeed, flattered himself that he usually kept a step or two ahead
-of them: he was prophetic as well as reminiscent; had firm opinions and
-facile appreciations.</p>
-
-<p>He and Damier spoke of Mrs. Mostyn,&mdash;Sir Henry, too, had seen her
-recently,&mdash;of Paris, and of her connection with it. “And by the way,â€
-said Sir Henry, “she told me that you were tremendously interested in
-what she told you about Madame Vicaud&mdash;Clara Chanfrey that was. Now I
-know a good deal about that unhappy history, and can, indeed, carry it
-on to a further chapter; the first did interest you?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Tremendously,†Damier assented, feeling, with a beating heart, that
-daylight was about to flood his mystic temple. “Is she alive?†he added.</p>
-
-<p>“That I don’t know. But I saw the second chapter at close quarters. I
-went to Vicaud’s studio one day. They had been<a name="page_023" id="page_023"></a> married only a few
-years; she was a mere girl even then. I never saw such wretchedness.â€</p>
-
-<p>“In what way?†Damier’s heart now beat with a strange self-reproach.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh&mdash;not describable. It was the evident hiding of misery that one felt
-most, the controlled fear in her face. She was lovelier than ever, but
-white, wasted, her delicate hands worn with work. The place was already
-poverty-stricken, but clean&mdash;grimly clean; I have no doubt she scrubbed
-the floor herself. Four or five artists were there&mdash;clever, well-known
-men, but not of the best type: the kind of men who wrote brutally
-realistic feuilletons for papers of the baser order, who painted
-pictures <i>pour épater le bourgeois;</i> grossly materialistic, cynically
-skeptical of all that was not so. One felt that, though utterly alien to
-it by taste, she could have adapted herself, in a sense, to the best
-bohemianism. She was broadly intelligent; she would have recognized all
-that was fine, vital, inspiring in it, all that it implies of
-antagonism<a name="page_024" id="page_024"></a> to the conformist, the bourgeois attitude. But the
-bohemianism of her husband and his comrades could only turn her to ice.
-It was strange to see her fear, and yet her strength, in these
-surroundings. They saw it, too; her chill gentleness, her inflexible
-face, cowed them, made them silly rather than vicious. Only, at that
-time, she had not cowed her husband; at all events, he seemed to take a
-pleasure in showing his mastery over her, his indifference to her
-attitude. He was a genius, with the face of a poet and the soul of a
-satyr. She had charmed him by her unusualness; he had determined to have
-her, to snatch her, the fine, delicate creature, from another world, as
-it were, and to make her part of his experience of life in very much the
-same sense as he would have tried a new kind of sin for the sake of its
-novelty. Then, too, he hoped, of course, for advancement, pecuniary and
-social; the disappointment of that hope must have roused the fiend in
-him. Of course he loved her&mdash;if one can turn the word to such base<a name="page_025" id="page_025"></a>
-uses. What man would not have loved her? He loved her as he might have
-loved one of his mistresses; and I remember that on that day he
-dared&mdash;as perhaps he would not have dared had they been alone&mdash;to go to
-her before us all, fondle her cheek, and, putting his arm around her,
-kiss her. We all, I think, felt the ugly bravado of it, and I know that
-I never detested a man as I detested him at that moment. She sat
-motionless, expressionless. Only her eyes showed the terror of her
-helplessness, her despair.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Just heavens!†Damier exclaimed, after a silence filled for him with a
-bewildering aching and despair. “Why did she not leave him?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Well,†said Sir Henry, looking at the tip of his cigar, and crossing
-his knees for the greater comfort of impersonal reflection, “there was
-the child&mdash;they had a child, a girl; I never saw it; and there was her
-pride&mdash;she had been cast off by all her people; and there was his need
-of her. A few years after their marriage<a name="page_026" id="page_026"></a> Vicaud took to absinthe, and
-drank himself half mad from time to time. Her conceptions of the duties
-of marriage, the sacredness of its bond, were, I am sure, very high;
-duty, pity, a hopeless loyalty, kept her to him, no doubt. What she went
-through no one, I suppose, can imagine.</p>
-
-<p>“I saw her once again; I was in Paris for a few days&mdash;it must have been
-more than ten years after that first meeting. I met her leading her
-husband in an <i>allée</i> in the Bois. He was a wreck then, his talent gone,
-his noble face a pallid, bloated mask. He leaned on her arm, draped in
-his defiant black cloak. I sha’n’t forget them as they walked under the
-October trees. She was changed, immensely changed. Her stately head was
-still beautiful, but with a beauty stony, frozen, as it were. There was
-no longer any touch of fear or softness. When she saw me she smiled with
-all her own gracious courtesy&mdash;but graciousness a little exaggerated;
-she had become, I saw, by long opposition to the<a name="page_027" id="page_027"></a> life about her, almost
-too ineffably the lady. She had to keep, consciously, the perfume of
-life.</p>
-
-<p>“I walked on with them, and, perhaps as a result of my evident wish to
-see more of her, she asked me to go back to dinner with them. I did,
-realizing when I got to their apartment what it must have cost her to
-ask me, and what the pride must be that could do it and seem indifferent
-in the midst of that tawdry, poverty-stricken, vicious existence. Up
-flights of soiled and shabby stairs, in a mean house, to a miserable
-room&mdash;its bareness the best thing that could be said of it&mdash;at the top
-of the house, overlooking a squalid quarter of Paris. There was a harp
-in one corner, and Madame Vicaud, in answer to my inquiry about her
-music, said that she gave lessons. The young daughter was at school in
-England, and Vicaud’s old mother lived with them, a spiteful,
-suspicious-looking bourgeoise with a handsome, flinty eye. Clara Vicaud
-gave her all the quiet deference<a name="page_028" id="page_028"></a> that she would have given her had she
-been her equal. She had evidently forced from the old woman&mdash;forced by
-no effort, but by the mere compulsion of her own unflinching courtesy&mdash;a
-sullen respect. Her husband looked at her, spoke to her, with an odd
-mingling of resentment and dependence. He would say constantly, ‘Que
-dis-tu, Claire?' But he talked, too, with the evident intention of
-putting her to shame before her English guest,&mdash;seeing how she bore
-it,&mdash;talked of gallant adventures, of the charms of various females of
-his acquaintance. She sat pale, mild, and cold. It was like seeing mud
-thrown at a statue of the Madonna.</p>
-
-<p>“When she and I talked together after the supper&mdash;one could hardly call
-the meal a dinner&mdash;she did not make an apologetic reference to the
-ribaldry we had listened to. She did not refer, either, to any of the
-friends she no longer knew. We spoke chiefly of her daughter, and of
-books. The daughter was evidently the one ray of light in her existence;
-she told<a name="page_029" id="page_029"></a> me about her progress at school, her cleverness, her beauty.
-And next to her daughter, reading and music had been her great
-resources. I was surprised at her scholarship, at her familiarity with
-German philosophy, English poetry, Russian fiction, French and English
-literary and social criticism; indeed, on the subjects of social
-problems, of human suffering and the various remedies, economic and
-ethical, suggested for it, her knowledge was far deeper than my own. But
-in all our talk there was not a note of the personal, the confidential,
-the regretful; she might have been sitting in an environment absolutely
-her own. I never saw her again after that evening. When I was in Paris
-some years later I went to the house, and heard that Monsieur Vicaud and
-his mother had both died there, and that Madame Vicaud, after nursing
-them through their last illnesses, had gone. I have often wondered what
-became of her.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier asked no further questions, and the talk drifted away from the
-subject of<a name="page_030" id="page_030"></a> Madame Vicaud and her misfortunes. But that evening he wrote
-to Mrs. Mostyn, and asked her if she had not yet obtained for him some
-news of his lady of the photograph. The photograph had for him that
-night a new look; it still said, “I need you,†but “I need you now. Help
-me.†He was convinced that she lived.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Mostyn’s reply came in a day, and inclosed a letter of introduction
-to Madame Vicaud, Rue B&mdash;&mdash;, Paris. “Sir Molyneux knew nothing of his
-sister’s whereabouts,†Mrs. Mostyn wrote, “and it was from another
-source that I found out that Clara still lives, and at the inclosed
-address. Do find her, my Don Quixote, and I must make her come and visit
-me.â€</p>
-
-<p>The inclosed letter asked Madame Vicaud to recall an old friend, and to
-welcome Mr. Damier for her sake and his own. She had only recently had
-news of Madame Vicaud, and so was able, happily, to aid Mr. Damier in
-his great wish to make her acquaintance. She hoped, also, that she might
-see Madame Vicaud in England<a name="page_031" id="page_031"></a> soon; would she not pay her a visit&mdash;a
-long one? It was a long letter, graceful, cordial, affectionate, a rope
-of flowers thrown to Damier for his guidance into the labyrinth.<a name="page_032" id="page_032"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="IV" id="IV"></a>IV</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_D.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_D_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="78"
-alt="D"
-/></span></a>AMIER, three days afterward, stood in his sitting-room
-in a Paris hotel, looking with a certain astonishment at the small sheet
-of notepaper he held, upon which was written in a firm, flowing hand&mdash;a
-hand that seemed, though so gracefully, to contradict any impression of
-a cry for help:</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot"><p>D<small>EAR</small> M<small>R</small>. D<small>AMIER</small>: I shall be very glad to see you to-morrow
-afternoon at four. I well remember Mrs. Mostyn; to hear of her from
-a friend of hers will be a double pleasure.</p>
-
-<p class="r">
-Yours sincerely,&nbsp; &nbsp; <br />
-C<small>LARA</small> V<small>ICAUD</small>.<br />
-</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>It was like the evocation of a ghost to see this reality, emerged
-suddenly out of the dream-world where, for so long, he<a name="page_033" id="page_033"></a> had thought of
-her, the young girl leaning on the chair-back in her flowing dress of
-silk. She was alive, and he was to see her that afternoon. Damier felt a
-chill overtake his eagerness. Was he not about to shatter a charming
-experience&mdash;one of the sweetest, most tender, most dearly absurd of his
-life? Would he not find in the real, middle-aged Clara Vicaud a hard,
-uninteresting woman? He had a vision of stoutly corseted robustness in
-jetted black cashmere; of a curve of heavy throat under the chin; of
-cold eyes looking with wonder, with suspicion even, upon his romantic
-quest. He could almost have felt it in him to draw back at the eleventh
-hour were he not ashamed to face in himself such cowardice. He took out
-the photograph and looked at it, and the eyes of Clara Chanfrey seemed
-to smile at him with something of tender irony. “Do not be afraid of me;
-I will never disappoint you,†they said. After all, what could the mere
-passage of years mean to such a face as that? What could the bitter
-experiences of a sorrowful life<a name="page_034" id="page_034"></a> hold in them to tarnish ever the spirit
-that looked from it? The reluctance was only superficial, a ripple of
-reaction upon the deep tide of his impulse.</p>
-
-<p>At four that afternoon he drove to a long, narrow street near the
-Boulevard St. Germain&mdash;a street of large, bleak houses showing a sort of
-dismantled stateliness. At one of the largest, stateliest, bleakest of
-these the fiacre stopped, and Damier, after asking the way of a grimly
-respectable concierge with a small knitted shawl of black wool folded
-tightly about her shoulders, mounted a wide, uncarpeted stone staircase
-to the highest floor, feeling, as he stood outside the door, that,
-despite the long ascent, the thick beating of his heart was due more to
-emotional than to physical causes.</p>
-
-<p>He rang, and as he stood waiting he heard suddenly within a woman’s
-voice singing. The voice was beautiful, and the song was Schumann’s “Im
-wunderschönen Monat Mai.†Its pathos, its simplicity, its tenderness,
-mingled with Damier’s almost<a name="page_035" id="page_035"></a> tremulous mood, and pierced his very soul.
-It was like an awakening in Paradise; there was the remembered sadness
-of a long, long past; the strange, melancholy rapture of something
-dawning, something unknown and wonderful. Could any music more fitly
-usher in the coming meeting?</p>
-
-<p>A middle-aged servant came to the door, conventual in the demure quiet
-of her dress and demeanor, and ushered Damier into a bare and spacious
-room where the light from scantily curtained windows shone broadly
-across the polished floor. A woman rose and came forward from the piano.
-Damier’s first impression, after the breathless moment in which he saw
-that it was not <i>she</i>, was one of dazzling beauty.</p>
-
-<p>“I am Mademoiselle Vicaud&mdash;Claire Vicaud,†this young woman said, “and
-you are Mr. Damier. My mother is expecting you; she will be here
-directly.â€</p>
-
-<p>Perhaps he felt, as she smiled gravely upon him, it was the power in her
-face, rather than its beauty, that had dazzled him. Already he
-discovered something<a name="page_036" id="page_036"></a> almost repellent in its enchantment. Her eyes were
-dark, with a still, an impenetrable darkness; a small mole emphasized
-the scarlet curve of her upper lip; the lines of cheek and brow were
-wonderfully beautiful. It was, indefinably, in the soft spreading of the
-nostrils, in the deeply sunk corners of the mouth, that one felt a
-plebeian touch. There was nothing, however, of this quality in the
-carriage of her head, with its heavy tiara of dark-red hair, nor in the
-dignity and grace of her figure; and nothing in her, except some vague
-suggestion in this grace and dignity, reminded him of the photograph;
-and he was at once deeply glad of this, glad that Mademoiselle Vicaud
-resembled her father&mdash;he felt sure she did&mdash;and not her mother.</p>
-
-<p>She seated herself, indicating to him a chair near her, and observed him
-with the same grave smile, and in an unembarrassed silence, while he
-spoke of his pleasure at being in Paris, at finding them there. Damier
-himself was not unembarrassed; found it difficult to talk trivialities
-to this<a name="page_037" id="page_037"></a> Hebe while thrilling with expectation; and Mademoiselle Vicaud,
-unable otherwise to interpret it, may well have seen in her own radiant
-apparition the cause of his slight disturbance.</p>
-
-<p>“But you are not old,†she said to him.</p>
-
-<p>“Did you expect that?†he inquired.</p>
-
-<p>“Then you are not a friend of Mamma’s&mdash;a friend of her youth, I mean? I
-don’t think that she was quite sure who you were.â€</p>
-
-<p>“It is only through an old friend of hers that&mdash;I hope to become
-another,†Damier finished, smiling.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, <i>pour commencer</i>, you may be our young friend&mdash;we have time, you
-and I, before we need think of being old ones. I get tired of old
-things, myself.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Even of old friends?†Damier asked, amused at her air of placid
-familiarity.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, that depends.â€</p>
-
-<p>He observed that Mademoiselle Vicaud, though speaking English with
-fluent ease, had in her voice and manner some most un-English qualities.
-Her voice was soft,<a name="page_038" id="page_038"></a> deep, and a little guttural. She had a way, he
-noticed later on, of saying “Ah†when one talked to her, a placid little
-ejaculation that was curiously characteristic and curiously foreign.</p>
-
-<p>But at the moment further observations were arrested. The door opened,
-and rising, as a swift footfall entered the room, Damier found himself
-face to face with his lady of the photograph.</p>
-
-<p>He blushed. His emotion showed itself very evidently on his handsome,
-sensitive face, so evidently that the strangeness of the meeting made
-itself felt as a palpable atmosphere, and made conventional greetings an
-effort and something of an absurdity. Madame Vicaud, however, dared the
-absurdity, and so successfully that the formal sweetness of her smile,
-the vague geniality of her voice, as she said right things to him,
-seemed effortless. Damier, through all the tumult of his hurrying
-impressions, comparisons, wonders, yet found time to feel that she was a
-woman who could make many efforts and seem to make<a name="page_039" id="page_039"></a> none. Her manner
-slid past the stress of the moment; her wonder, if she felt any, was not
-visible. All that she showed to her sudden visitor, introducing himself
-through a past that must have been long dead to her, was the smile, the
-geniality, vague and formal, of the woman of the world.</p>
-
-<p>By contrast to this atmosphere of rule and reticence, the few words he
-had exchanged with the daughter seemed suddenly intimate&mdash;seemed to make
-a bond where the mother’s made a barrier. But above all barriers, all
-reticences, was the one fact&mdash;the wonderful fact&mdash;that she was she,
-changed so much, yet so much the same that the change was only a
-deepening, a subtilizing of her charm.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, I remember Mrs. Mostyn so well,†said Madame Vicaud, “and it is
-many years ago now. She must be old. Does she look old? Is she well?
-Will she come to Paris one day, do you think? Ah, as for my going to
-England to see her, that is a great temptation, a sufficient one were<a name="page_040" id="page_040"></a>
-the possibility only as great. My daughter has been much in England; she
-really, now, knows it better than I do.â€</p>
-
-<p>Mademoiselle Vicaud did not meet her mother’s glance as it rested upon
-her; her eyes were fixed, with their dark placidity, upon Damier, as she
-sat sidewise in her chair, her hands&mdash;they were large, white,
-beautifully formed&mdash;loosely interlaced on the chair-back.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; I know England well,†she said&mdash;“educational England. I went to
-school there. I associate England with all that is formative and
-improving; I have been run through the mold so many times.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Run through?†Damier asked, smiling. “Have you never taken the form,
-then?†He was not interested in Mademoiselle Vicaud, although he felt
-intimate with her; but her mother’s glance brought her between them,
-placed her there; one was forced to look at her and to talk to her.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you think I have?†Mademoiselle Vicaud asked, with her smile, that
-was not gay, a slumberous, indulgent smile. “I<a name="page_041" id="page_041"></a> hope not,†she added,
-“physically, at least. I don’t like your English outline, as far as that
-is concerned.†Damier could but observe that hers was not English. She
-was supple, curved&mdash;slender, yet robust; one saw her soft breathing; her
-waist bent with a lovely flexibility. But the contemplation of these
-facts, to which she seemed, with the indifference of perfect assurance,
-to draw his attention, emphasized that sense of intimacy in a way that
-rather irritated him; Mademoiselle Vicaud, her outline and her exquisite
-gowning of it, slightly jarred upon him. He hardly knew how to word his
-appreciation of her difference, and after saying that he was glad she
-had escaped the more unbecoming influences of his country, added: “I
-hope that there were some things you cared to adopt.â€</p>
-
-<p>“They adopted me. I was quite passive, quite fluid,†said Mademoiselle
-Vicaud.</p>
-
-<p>Her mother, while they interchanged these slight pleasantries, continued
-to look at her daughter.</p>
-
-<p>“You rather exaggerate, do you not,<a name="page_042" id="page_042"></a> Claire, the coercive nature of your
-English experience?†she said. “It was not all school; there was play,
-too.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Play like the kindergarten kind, with a meaning in it. My mother has
-always been anxious for me to take the right impressions,†said
-Mademoiselle Vicaud, her eyes still on Damier; “she has always chosen
-them for me.â€</p>
-
-<p>There was a momentary silence after this&mdash;a silence that might, Damier
-fancied, have held something of irritation for the mother, though none
-showed itself in the calm intelligence of her glance as it rested on her
-daughter.</p>
-
-<p>Looking from her before the pause could become significant of anything
-like argument or antagonism, she asked Damier for how long he expected
-to remain in Paris, and the talk floated easily into cheerful and
-familiar channels&mdash;concerts, the play, books, and pictures.</p>
-
-<p>She was so much more like the photograph than he had expected, and yet
-so different! The figure was the same, almost<a name="page_043" id="page_043"></a> girlish, more girlish,
-really, than Mademoiselle Claire’s, though the fall in the line of her
-shoulders, the erect poise with which she sat, recalled a girlishness of
-another epoch, another tradition.</p>
-
-<p>There was that in the folds of her long silk skirt,&mdash;a worn, shining
-silk, yet in its antiquity replete with elegance,&mdash;in the position of
-her narrow foot pointing from beneath its folds, in the way she lightly
-folded her arms while she talked to him, that suggested deportment, a
-manner trained, and as much a part of her as putting on her shoes was.
-She was very mannered and very unaffected; the manner was like the
-graceful garment of her perfect ease and naturalness&mdash;their protection,
-perhaps, and their ornament. As for her face, Damier, looking at it
-while they talked, felt its enchantment growing on him, like the gradual
-tuning of exquisite instruments preparing him for perfect music. Still,
-the face of the photograph, so unchanged that it was startling to feel
-how much older it was. The abundant<a name="page_044" id="page_044"></a> hair was dressed in the same
-fashion, but its black was now of an odd grayness that made one just
-aware that it was no longer black. The heart-shaped oval was emphasized;
-the cheeks were thin, the chin sharply delicate, the lips compressed
-when she did not smile&mdash;but she frequently smiled&mdash;into a line of
-endurance, of a patience almost bitter. There were tones of pale mauve
-in the faint roses of her lips and cheeks, but Damier felt that this
-charming tint must always have been theirs&mdash;went with the snow and ebony
-of her type. Although her face was little lined,&mdash;emotion with her had
-been repressed, not demonstrated,&mdash;it had a look more aging than
-lines&mdash;a look of bleakness, of a cold impassivity. The texture of her
-skin was like a white rose-petal just fading. And in this faded
-whiteness her dark eyes gazed, more stern, more tragic than in youth.
-There was in them, and in the straight line of her black brows above
-them, a somberness and almost a menace. Damier wondered over the strange
-contrast<a name="page_045" id="page_045"></a> to her frequent smile. He saw that where Mademoiselle Vicaud
-was still and grave her mother was light and gay, but the gaiety and
-lightness&mdash;he traced the impression further&mdash;were part of the manner,
-the protecting, ornamental manner; were something that had once been
-real, and were now put on, like her shoes, again. The daughter showed
-herself, or seemed to show herself, imperturbably: the mother was
-hidden, masked; her eyes, with their contrasting smile, made him think
-of Tragedy glancing among garlands of roses.</p>
-
-<p>Before he went, that day, Damier told Madame Vicaud that his stay in
-Paris was to be indefinite; had even let her see, if she wished to, that
-she counted among his reasons for staying. He was sure that he was to go
-far, but he knew that he must go with discretion. One thing discretion
-evidently required of him&mdash;to include Mademoiselle Claire with her
-mother; her mother constantly included her. It was necessary to invite
-them both to drive in<a name="page_046" id="page_046"></a> the Bois next day. It was then that he learned
-that Madame Vicaud and her daughter both gave lessons, mademoiselle in
-singing,&mdash;she had studied with the best masters,&mdash;madame in the harp and
-piano. Damier cast a glance upon the harp; the same, no doubt. Hours of
-engagements had to be consulted. They could both, however, be free next
-day at four.<a name="page_047" id="page_047"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="V" id="V"></a>V</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_D.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_D_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="78"
-alt="D"
-/></span></a>AMIER was able, while waiting for them in the salon on
-the following day, to see more clearly Madame Vicaud’s environment, now
-that it was empty of her. It was one of work, poverty, and refinement.
-Books lined one side of the walls; the furniture was of the scantiest,
-simplest description; a row of old prints&mdash;after Sir Joshua and
-Gainsborough, some of them very good&mdash;were hung straightly above the
-simple writing-table; on this table stood a small pot of pink flowers,
-and on a large table near the center of the room were books, reviews,
-and a work-box; the harp and the grand piano dominated the room. The
-high windows did not overlook the street, but the branches, flecked
-still with gold and<a name="page_048" id="page_048"></a> russet autumn leaves, of an old garden. Turning
-from this outlook, Damier found his attention fixed by a large
-photograph that occupied a prominent place in a black frame upon a
-sedate cabinet near the window. It was the photograph of a man&mdash;of
-Monsieur Vicaud, Damier knew at once. He gazed long at the face, still
-young, yet showing already touches of decay and degradation in the
-poetry and beauty of its youth. Without these touches&mdash;of presage more
-than actuality&mdash;it might have been the face of a Paolo, with tossed-back
-hair and superb, unfettered throat. Monsieur Vicaud had evidently been
-one of the few men whom a Byronic disarray becomes. Damier saw in the
-face the enchantment that had deluded Clara Chanfrey, and hints of the
-horror that had wrecked all enchantment. The longer one looked at the
-ardent, dreamy eyes, the perfect lips,&mdash;helpless, as it were, before
-one, and unable in charm of change to divert one’s attention from their
-essential meaning,&mdash;the more one felt cruel selfishness, hard
-indifference, and lurking<a name="page_049" id="page_049"></a> evil. Instinctively he turned and walked away
-from Monsieur Vicaud as he heard footsteps outside.</p>
-
-<p>When the mother and daughter came in together, he could infer, even more
-clearly than from the bareness of the salon, from Madame Vicaud’s shabby
-furs and unfashionable wrap, that life, to be kept up at all with
-niceness and finish, must be something of a struggle for them; yet, with
-her small black bonnet, which she was tying with black gauze ribbons
-beneath her chin, her neat gloves, the poise of her shoulders, and her
-swift, light step, she was still unmistakably <i>une élégante</i>. It was
-natural, he supposed,&mdash;though feeling some resentment at such
-naturalness,&mdash;that the struggle should be the mother’s mainly; the law
-of maternal self-sacrifice perhaps demanded it. Claire was charmingly
-dressed, simply, and with a Parisienne’s unerring sense of harmony and
-fitness. She was neither shabby nor unfashionable; the fashion, too,
-expressed her, not itself.</p>
-
-<p><a name="page_050" id="page_050"></a>After all, she still, though she was no longer <i>une toute jeune
-fille</i>,&mdash;she must be twenty-seven,&mdash;had her life before her, and her
-achievement of pretty clothes could hardly be imputed as blame to her.</p>
-
-<p>The early November afternoon in the Bois was misty, with sunlight in the
-mist; the air was mild. Madame Vicaud’s dark eyes looked down the long
-vistas, seeing, perhaps, other figures in them, other pictures. Damier
-and Mademoiselle Vicaud talked of Italy. She had never been there, but
-she questioned him about Florence and Rome, and Madame Vicaud asked him
-if he had heard much of the old church music; and the music had been his
-greatest enjoyment. Madame Vicaud was fond of Palestrina, she said; but
-she said little of the fondness, and only listened with a half-detached,
-half-assenting smile while Claire and the young man went on from Gluck
-to Wagner. Mademoiselle Vicaud was full of admiration&mdash;though her
-admirations were always unemphatic&mdash;for the latter; but Madame Vicaud,
-though retaining, evidently, no lurking survivals<a name="page_051" id="page_051"></a> of taste for the
-operatic music of her youth, would own only to a tempered liking for the
-great opera-master. She mused lightly over Damier’s demand for her
-preferences, and inclined to think that opera never meant much to her;
-it was a form of art that offended her taste almost inevitably; its
-appeal to the eye could so rarely justify itself, and the music, of
-course, was restricted by its being pinned down to definite descriptive
-themes.</p>
-
-<p>Claire hummed out, in a melancholy, emotional contralto, a phrase from
-“Tristan.†“I can’t sing him&mdash;none of our French throats can; but he
-fills me, sweeps me up; that is all I ask of music. Mamma likes music to
-lift her; I like it to carry me away.†Among the deep, almost purple
-reds of her hair, the tawny luster of her coiling furs, her cheeks, in
-the keen, fresh air, glowed dimly. “No, I could not sing Wagner,†she
-sighed; “but I could sing. I am an <i>artiste manquée</i>; the one, perhaps,
-for being my father’s daughter, the other for being my mother’s. She<a name="page_052" id="page_052"></a>
-would rather have me teach&mdash;try to force a little of my own energy and
-feeling into dough-like souls&mdash;than have me sing in public.â€
-Mademoiselle Vicaud’s smile had no rancor as she made these statements,
-and her mother’s distant gaze showed no change, nor did she speak.</p>
-
-<p>“It is a hard and a rather tawdry life, that of an opera-singer,†said
-Damier; “and, I fancy, almost an impossible one in Paris.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, but I am tawdry,†Claire observed. If antagonism there had ever
-been on this subject, it had evidently long since left behind it the
-stage of discussion. Claire made no appeal or protest&mdash;merely stated
-facts.</p>
-
-<p>“You see,†she went on, very much as if she and Damier were alone
-together, “if it were not for that artist nature, Mamma would not,
-perhaps, mind so much. It is because I am not&mdash;what shall we call
-it?&mdash;respectable? <i>hein</i>?&mdash;well, that will serve&mdash;that she dreads such
-tests for me.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier now saw that, though Madame Vicaud’s silence kept all its calm,
-she very<a name="page_053" id="page_053"></a> slightly flushed. He felt in her a something, proud and
-shrinking, that steeled itself to hear the jarring note of her
-daughter’s jest; and was it a jest? Again the contrast in the two faces
-struck him, this time with something of fundamental alienation in the
-contrast. It occupied his mind after Madame Vicaud, very unemphatically,
-not at all as if she felt that it needed turning, took the lead of the
-conversation, and while Claire, leaning back in her corner, listened
-with, when she was particularly addressed, her indolent “Ah!†It was,
-indeed, like going from one world to another to look from her mother’s
-face to hers. Already he felt for her a mingling of irritation and pity
-that was to grow as he knew her better.</p>
-
-<p>How strangely she was tainted with something really almost <i>canaille</i>;
-the soft depth of her voice reeked with it. And how strangely blind must
-the affection of the mother be that could bridge the chasm that
-separated her from her daughter, unconscious&mdash;her evident devotion to
-her proved that&mdash;of its very existence.<a name="page_054" id="page_054"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="VI" id="VI"></a>VI</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_M.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_M_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="75"
-alt="M"
-/></span></a>ADAME and Mademoiselle Vicaud were at home on Tuesdays,
-and Damier felt that he would always receive a courteously cordial
-welcome on these formal occasions; but he felt, too, for some weeks,
-that the courtesy, the pleasant graciousness of his reception, did not
-grow in warmth. He was accepted, but no more. Madame Vicaud treated him
-as she might have treated him had he been but one habitué of a crowded
-salon. Her salon was anything but crowded; he soon had numbered its
-habitués. There was a monotony about these Tuesday reunions; they were
-rather thin and colorless; thin only in quantity, not in quality, for
-that was excellent&mdash;reminded him of Madame Vicaud’s black silk dresses
-with<a name="page_055" id="page_055"></a> their white lawn cuffs and collars, a quality worn but
-irreproachable. Damier came to find a flavor, an unusualness, in the
-cool cheerfulness of the Tuesday teas.</p>
-
-<p>The salon in the Rue B&mdash;&mdash; on these occasions had some vases of flowers,
-and the tea, brought in by the monastic Angélique, boasted bread and
-butter and <i>madeleines</i> as well as the daily <i>petits beurres</i> that
-Damier had been offered on a more informal visit.</p>
-
-<p>To the teas came old Madame Dépressier, who was of an impoverished
-Huguenot family, and who spent her time in works of charity, a serene
-woman with a large white face&mdash;a woman, Damier found on talking to her,
-of character and learning. She and Madame Vicaud talked of books,
-lectures, and poor people, and smiled much together. Madame Crécy came
-also, dignified, middle-aged, interested in <i>le mouvement féministe</i>, a
-writer of essays, dark, decisive, a charm in her bright ugliness. There
-was a dim, devout, and gentle old Comtesse de Comprailles.<a name="page_056" id="page_056"></a> She had
-known Madame Vicaud for years, from before her marriage, and her piety
-had lifted her above the realization of the secular troubles of her
-friend, and had, indeed, kept their relation a softly superficial one.
-With the comtesse came sometimes a tall, thin priest, her cousin, also
-dim, devout, and gentle in these social relations with heretics.</p>
-
-<p>There was a young Polish art-student, a girl with a thin, ardent face,
-and an attire manlike from its deficiency of adornment rather than from
-any pose. She wore very short cloth skirts,&mdash;shortened by several years
-of wear and mending, our acutely sympathetic young man guessed,&mdash;a
-knotted handkerchief around her throat, and a soft felt hat. To this
-young woman, who, Damier heard, had great talent and was miserably poor,
-Madame Vicaud showed a peculiar tenderness. Sophie Labrinska had a look
-at once weary and keen. She seldom spoke, but her face lighted up with a
-smile for her hostess, and on Tuesdays she always<a name="page_057" id="page_057"></a> played to them&mdash;and
-played with an ungirl-like mastery and beauty of interpretation&mdash;a
-ballade, nocturne, or mazurka of Chopin.</p>
-
-<p>Lady Vibert and her daughter came too. They lived in a tiny flat near
-the Bois, finding poverty in Paris more genial and resourceful than in
-England. Miss Vibert, a fresh-colored young woman with prominent teeth,
-studied art also, and for years had gone daily to a studio from which,
-each week, she brought back to the tiny flat a life-size torso, very
-neatly painted. She and her mother were cheerful, eager people, taking
-their Paris, their <i>abonnement</i> at the Théâtre Français,&mdash;a rite they
-religiously fulfilled,&mdash;their bi-weekly lecture at the Ecole de France,
-with a pleasant seriousness. Madame Vicaud lifted her eyebrows and
-smiled a little, though very kindly, over Miss Vibert’s artistic
-progress; but she was fond of her.</p>
-
-<p>As for Claire, she showed little fondness, with one exception, for any
-of her<a name="page_058" id="page_058"></a> mother’s guests. Miss Vibert talked to her in clear, high tones,
-but Claire spoke little to her, and only answered with her most
-slumberous smiles. For Sophie she had neither smiles nor words. She
-ignored her&mdash;but not with an effect of intentional ignoring; it was
-merely that the little Polish girl made no advances, and unless she were
-advanced to, Claire, in her mother’s salon, maintained an air of
-indolent detachment&mdash;except for one member of it, the only one who could
-be said to recall, definitely, what there was of bohemia in Madame
-Vicaud’s past. Monsieur Claude Daunay did no more than recall it, for
-his bohemianism was of a most tempered quality, consisting in a kindly
-indifference to smallnesses, a half-humorous choice of the
-unconventional rather than an ignorant imprisonment in it. He was a man
-of about fifty, and his massive gray head, Jovian hair and beard, his
-kindly, wearied eyes and stooping yet stalwart figure, made him a
-distinguished apparition at Madame Vicaud’s teas. She<a name="page_059" id="page_059"></a> placed him,
-sketched him for Damier in a few words, the most open that her reserve
-had yet allowed her, and it was then only after a good many Tuesdays:
-“He knew my husband, and was very kind to him, and to me, when we were
-in need of kindness. He has no genius,&mdash;he, too, is a painter, you
-know,&mdash;but a vast appreciation, and a vast generosity in the expression
-of it, and much distinction of mind and talent.â€</p>
-
-<p>Monsieur Daunay was married, but his marriage was an unfortunate one.
-Madame Daunay had been the reverse of a model wife; she lived, an
-invalid, a life of retirement in the country, and was supposed to make
-much bitterness in the existence of her husband, who had his home with a
-<i>vieille fille</i> cousin in Paris. Damier liked the scholarly artist, his
-mild smile and air of weary unexpectancy.</p>
-
-<p>It was with Monsieur Daunay that Claire was her most vivid self, with
-him and with their new “young†friend&mdash;though, when Monsieur Daunay was
-present, Damier<a name="page_060" id="page_060"></a>’s relegation to the background bespoke an excellent
-loyalty to older ties. There was something very nearly filial in her
-graceful and affectionate solicitude for Monsieur Daunay. She would
-sweep, in trailing gowns, always a little over-perfumed,&mdash;it was the
-point where her taste seemed to fail her,&mdash;and always late, into the
-salon, and, if Monsieur Daunay were there, go at once to him after a
-formal acknowledgment of the other presences in the room. She did not
-talk much with him,&mdash;she talked more to Damier,&mdash;but while he talked to
-her she smiled at him, an encouraging, responsive smile.</p>
-
-<p>Monsieur Daunay spoke to Damier of Madame Vicaud as <i>une âme exquise</i>,
-and of Claire as <i>une charmante enfant</i>, a term emphasizing his almost
-paternal attitude, an emphasis made more noticeable by his more formal
-relations with the mother. Damier saw that he was very fond of Claire,
-but that between him and Madame Vicaud there were no bonds<a name="page_061" id="page_061"></a> closer than
-a courteous understanding and regard. On Tuesday, after tea and talk,
-music would be brought out, candles lighted at the piano, Claire would
-sing while Monsieur Daunay accompanied her on the piano or her mother on
-the harp, Sophie would play her Polish music, and Monsieur Daunay and
-Madame Vicaud give a solo each or a duet. There was not a trace of the
-amateur in these performances; the pleasure was great, and, for Damier,
-the charm too deep for analysis, in this listening with her, or to her,
-in the quiet room, among these quiet, subdued, rather sad people.</p>
-
-<p>He was still, in a sense, outside the barrier, but they all were, he
-fancied, in the sense he meant. These Tuesdays were the nearest, really,
-that any of them ever came to her. Yet they were more definitely
-accepted as friends: he was still the onlooker.</p>
-
-<p>It was only humorously that he resented his slow advance to a more
-individual<a name="page_062" id="page_062"></a> standing. He could hardly himself measure it; and yet he
-felt that he was being observed, weighed, thought over, and, almost
-imperceptibly, that her smile for him gained in meaning.<a name="page_063" id="page_063"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="VII" id="VII"></a>VII</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_I.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_O_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="74"
-alt="I"
-/></span></a>T was through a book they spoke of, a book which he
-said he would bring to her, that they came at last face to face, and,
-for the first time really, alone together. He found her in the firelit
-room; her last pupil had gone, and she was sitting before her harp, her
-hands in her lap, her eyes looking vaguely in front of her. There had
-been a fall of snow, and the chill February afternoon outside was
-desolate in its white and gray and black. Within there was the serenity,
-the flicker of firelight, Madame Vicaud, and her silent harp.</p>
-
-<p>She turned her head with her smile of welcome, and, as he drew a chair
-near hers, lightly touched a harp-string. The throb of the vibrant note
-echoed in the<a name="page_064" id="page_064"></a> young man’s heart. For the first time, after a winter of
-patient waiting, he was alone with his mystery, alone with the woman he
-adored; for that he adored this cold, sweet, faded woman, with her
-fragrant life blossoming on its black background, was as much a fact of
-his existence as that he had seen her photograph on that distant sunny
-day.</p>
-
-<p>“My work is over,†she said. “I am feeling indolent. Ah, you have
-brought the book; thank you. Will you read it now to me&mdash;a little?†She
-leaned back, smiling still; her eyes, he felt, studying him more openly,
-yet more kindly, than ever before. “Will you ring for the candles then,
-or would you rather sit on for a little while in this blindman’s
-holiday?â€</p>
-
-<p>“I would rather sit on, and have you play to me, if you are not too
-tired.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I am tired of teaching&mdash;of listening, not of playing.†She at once
-adjusted her foot, stretched her arms, bending to the instrument, and
-played an old and plaintive melody.<a name="page_065" id="page_065"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Exquisite,†said Damier, when it ended. “It is so staid in form, yet so
-melancholy in feeling.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; like the melancholy of a sad heart, whispering its sorrow to
-itself under the lace and brocade of a long-dead epoch.†She went on to
-a joyous little pastoral, and said, smiling at him, that that was like a
-bank of primroses; and, after the next, “And that all innocent solemnity
-and sweetness, like a nun’s prayer.†And when she had finished they sat
-in silence for some time.</p>
-
-<p>“Have you always played?†he asked her at last, seeing her suddenly as a
-young girl in a white dress, with a green ribbon around her waist, an
-emerald locket at her throat, sitting at her harp.</p>
-
-<p>“Always; I learned when I was a child.†The unspoken sadness of the past
-seemed to steal about them; he seemed to hear the “sad heart whispering
-to itself†as they sat there in the firelight.</p>
-
-<p>“I have often thought,†Madame Vicaud said, turning suddenly toward him<a name="page_066" id="page_066"></a>
-and smiling with a touch of constraint, “that it was very nice of you to
-seek us out like this. I have often wanted to speak to you about it. For
-it was you rather than Mrs. Mostyn who sought, was it not? What made you
-think of it?†she asked, her smile growing in sweetness as his eyes
-dwelt on hers.</p>
-
-<p>“It was a very romantic reason,†Damier said; “or, no, I won’t belittle
-my reason by that trivial term; it was a very serious reason, rather, a
-very real one. I saw your photograph in an album belonging to Mrs.
-Mostyn, and then I wanted to see you.â€</p>
-
-<p>She looked at him in silence.</p>
-
-<p>“How very strange!†she presently said. “Wanted enough for that?â€</p>
-
-<p>“To seek you? Quite enough; more.†He smiled. “Yes, it was strange&mdash;is
-strange. I did not know whether you were alive or dead, nor did Mrs.
-Mostyn.â€</p>
-
-<p>“And you set out in quest of me?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, after a time. At first Mrs. Mostyn could hear nothing of you. I
-met<a name="page_067" id="page_067"></a> another old acquaintance of yours&mdash;Sir Henry Quarle. He talked to
-me about you, too, and immediately afterward I got your address from
-Mrs. Mostyn and her letter to you. Then I set out at once.â€</p>
-
-<p>Madame Vicaud looked at him with a grave, speculating look for some
-silent moments, before saying, turning her eyes away and once more
-showing constraint in her voice:</p>
-
-<p>“You heard that I had been unfortunate&mdash;unhappy? You were sorry for
-that?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; but had you been very fortunate, very happy, I should still have
-looked for you.â€</p>
-
-<p>“But why? Did you like my face so much?â€</p>
-
-<p>“So much. I felt that I should have known you long ago, and that, having
-missed you for so long through the stupid accident of the years, I must
-know you always in the future. I should have felt it had you been dead.â€
-His charming eyes dwelling on her with a perfect candor<a name="page_068" id="page_068"></a> and simplicity,
-for it was easy at last to speak these familiar thoughts to her, he
-added: “I needed you; I had always needed you. And so, it seemed to me,
-you needed me; your eyes in the photograph called to me.â€</p>
-
-<p>At this she looked swiftly at him with an astonishment that slowly
-softened to a smile. “You are a strange, a good friend,†she said.</p>
-
-<p>“You accept me as such?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, yes,†she replied, “I accept you as such&mdash;gratefully. I don’t call
-you. Those days are over.â€</p>
-
-<p>She rose, pushing the harp aside, and walked slowly down the room,
-pausing at the window and looking out. He divined that she was much
-touched, even that there were tears in her eyes. He feared to show her
-the depths of his feeling for her, his longing to enter her life, help
-her, if it might be, in it; but, rising too, he said in a slightly
-trembling voice: “You don’t need my friendship, but I need yours. Let
-that be my claim.<a name="page_069" id="page_069"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“Your claim to what?†she asked, her face still turned from him.</p>
-
-<p>“To the hope that I may grow into your confidence&mdash;the hope that you
-will lean on me, trust me completely, and that, with time, I may,
-perhaps, mean something to you of what you mean to me.â€</p>
-
-<p>Her face now, as she looked at him, showed a curious, a vivid look of
-wonder, humor, tenderness, and sadness.</p>
-
-<p>“What am I, that I should mean so much to you? You don’t know me.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Is that your kind way of intimating that I can mean nothing to
-you&mdash;that you don’t know me?†he smiled.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, don’t think that I am so hard and stupid!†she said quickly. “Don’t
-think that I am fencing with you, trying to ward off a friendship I
-can’t appreciate. Don’t think that I have no need of a friend. I have; I
-have&mdash;only I had forgotten to feel it. I do not say that I have no
-friends; you know that I have, and good ones&mdash;only you do not wish to
-rank with them. Isn’t it so?†She smiled swiftly, from<a name="page_070" id="page_070"></a> her gravity, at
-him. “There is good Madame Dépressier, and the comtesse, and little
-Sophie,&mdash;who needs me, poor child, in her struggle and loneliness,&mdash;and
-the others, true and good all; but none near. You would be near,&mdash;would
-you not?&mdash;and have me share pain with you&mdash;lean on you, you say.†His
-fine young face, stern with eagerness, followed her words in silent
-assent. “But it would be difficult for me to have such a friend. I have
-never had such a friend. It is difficult, painful to me to show myself,
-be myself. I am a hard, I fear a spoiled, stunted nature. You heard&mdash;of
-course you must have heard; it is the one thing that anybody must hear
-who hears at all of me&mdash;that my marriage was very unhappy. It warped me;
-it froze me. There was no one to help me when I needed help, or to hear
-me, even had I not been too proud to call, and I lost the power of
-appeal or self-expression. If I had been gentler, less bitter in my
-despair, less rebellious, I might have kept<a name="page_071" id="page_071"></a> more in touch with life,
-been more natural, more responsive. As it is, I can still feel&mdash;deeply,
-deeply; but it is hard for me to respond. I am old enough to be your
-mother. No? Well, almost.†She smiled slightly at his exactitude. “I am
-very different from the girl in the photograph whose eyes called to
-you&mdash;prophetic eyes they must have been! You must not expect fine things
-of me; you must not idealize me.†She put her hand gently, maternally on
-his shoulder. “Never idealize me. That is a dangerous&mdash;a terrible thing
-to do.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Can you look at me,†he asked, putting his hand on hers&mdash;“can you look
-at me and think that I could idealize you?&mdash;see you as anything else
-than you are? Don’t you feel that, indeed, I can see you much more
-clearly than you see yourself&mdash;the girl in the photograph, and the woman
-old enough, almost old enough, to be my mother? You are shut into your
-present. I see you in it&mdash;and in all your past.<a name="page_072" id="page_072"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>She stood looking gravely into his eyes as he looked into hers. In hers
-there was&mdash;not seen by him and hardly felt by herself&mdash;a swiftly
-passing, an immense regret, an immense sadness. It was like the sweeping
-shadow of a flying wing, and left only the limpidity of sweetest, most
-candid acquiescence. In his eyes, too, there was regret&mdash;passionate
-regret; and he felt it, and felt that she could not understand or read
-it, nor the vague, strong hope that so strangely informed it.</p>
-
-<p>“So I have a friend, a new yet an old friend,†said Madame Vicaud. “You
-perplex me, but I believe in all you say. You give me great happiness.â€</p>
-
-<p>He lifted the hand under his and bent his lips to it. She looked down at
-his bowed head with a smile that was a benediction.</p>
-
-<p>On that first day of their friendship, as they sat together, she again
-before her harp, it was, oddly, he who leaned and confided. Almost
-boyishly, under her comprehending eyes, he unfolded for her his<a name="page_073" id="page_073"></a> life,
-its deepest efforts and its deepest disappointments. Madame Vicaud,
-while he talked and she questioned, drew her fingers softly, from time
-to time, across her harp-strings. He never forgot the hour, nor the
-sense of communion that the silvery ripple of the harp-strings made
-paradisiacal.</p>
-
-<p>“And will you not marry? Have you not thought of marrying?†she asked.</p>
-
-<p>He considered her with what he knew to be a whimsical smile at her
-unconsciousness.</p>
-
-<p>“I have been too great a coward ever to get further than thinking of it.
-My love-affairs have rarely passed the speculative stage. My ideals of
-marriage are of a most exacting nature.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, that is well,†she said. “Never lower them to fit some reality
-that, for the moment, appeals. I hope,†she added, “that you will some
-day find the woman who realizes them.â€</p>
-
-<p>No, the silly accident oi the years too much blinded her, Damier felt,
-for her to<a name="page_074" id="page_074"></a> see, yet, that she was the woman. He himself was too much
-dazzled to see beyond the fact itself. Any question of love or marriage
-seemed irrelevant, did not enter at all into this wonderful and happy
-place where her harp rippled, her eyes smiled, where she understood that
-he had found her.<a name="page_075" id="page_075"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="VIII" id="VIII"></a>VIII</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_A.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_A_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="74"
-alt="A"
-/></span></a>FTER this there was no more the feeling of a barrier.
-It was gone; and with perfect graciousness and trust she admitted him to
-the personal standing and nearness he had asked for. She was all
-confidence now, although she made no confidences. He felt that her trust
-in him hid nothing from him, and yet that her pride made her past
-sorrows so poignantly intimate that they must be understood between her
-friend and herself, not spoken of.</p>
-
-<p>The nearer intimacy with the mother did not bring Damier into nearer
-intimacy with the daughter, for the simple reason that he was already so
-intimate. From the first Damier had felt that he understood Claire
-Vicaud. He could not yet<a name="page_076" id="page_076"></a> clearly define what he understood, but she
-could have no revelations for him. Her father explained her, and her
-mother reclaimed her. That was her history, and he imagined that neither
-she nor her mother was aware of the history, but the mother less than
-she. Indeed, he fancied, at times, that he saw her far more clearly than
-did the mother&mdash;hoped that the mother had not his direct vision.</p>
-
-<p>He was rather fond of Claire, with a fondness tolerant, humorous, and
-pitying. What he saw in her were thwarted energies, well thwarted, yet
-pathetic in their enforced composure; he saw voiceless rebellion, and
-the dumb discomfort of a creature reared in an environment not its own.
-This simile might have cast a reproach upon the mother had it conjured
-up the vision of an unkindly caged pantheress; but the simile so seen
-was too poetical for Claire. It was not the wild, fine, free thing of
-nature that circumstance had caged, but the product of over-civilized
-senses&mdash;senses only, and corrupt senses.<a name="page_077" id="page_077"></a> There was the point that made
-her piteous and repellent.</p>
-
-<p>Claire’s claim on life was not a high one. Hers was not even an esthetic
-fastidiousness of sense nor a romantic coloring of emotion; there was
-nothing delicate or warm or eager about her. Her wishes were not
-yearnings; they were steadfast inclinations toward all the evident, the
-palpable, perhaps the baser pleasures of life, pleasures that would most
-certainly have been hers had not fate&mdash;in the shape of a mother to whom
-these pleasures were non-existent rather than despicable&mdash;lifted her
-above the possible grasp at them: jewels, clothes, magnificent
-establishments, riotous living. She was cold, but she would welcome
-passively the warmth of admiration about her. She had not her father’s
-genius to transmute the tawdry cravings of her inheritance from him. She
-had his quick, clear intelligence, and it seemed only to make harder,
-more decisive, her centering in self.</p>
-
-<p>Damier could see her as the painted<a name="page_078" id="page_078"></a> prima donna (never as the sincere
-and serious artist), bowing her languorous triumph before the curtain;
-could see her laughing in ugly mirth at Gallic jests among a crowd of
-clever <i>rapins</i>; could horribly image her&mdash;most horribly when one
-remembered who was her mother&mdash;rolling in a lightly swung carriage down
-the Avenue des Acacias, a modern Cleopatra in her barge, alluring in
-indifference under her parasol, and dressed with the consummate and
-conscious art that does not flower in the sound soil of respectability.
-These were, indeed, horrid thoughts, and as absurd as horrid when the
-mother stood beside them. Even to think them seemed to put a dagger into
-a heart already many times stabbed. Yet separate mother and
-daughter,&mdash;it was ominously easy so to separate them,&mdash;and nothing in
-Claire reproached and contradicted such images. Inevitably they arose,
-and, as inevitably, the companion picture of the mother, like a
-transfixed Mater Dolorosa.</p>
-
-<p>To the mother he felt that in giving interest<a name="page_079" id="page_079"></a> and attention to Claire
-he rendered a service more grateful to her than any homage. He proposed
-that he should take Claire for walks sometimes, and he felt something of
-the staidness of the girl’s upbringing in Madame Vicaud’s acquiescence,
-in its implied trust&mdash;a trust that waived a custom in his favor. It
-expressed the mother’s attitude against all that was lax or undignified
-in life. Claire could go with him, their friend, but, Claire told him
-with a light laugh, she seldom went out alone. “Only sometimes with
-Monsieur Daunay&mdash;but he is like a father, almost; and to the
-dressmaker’s; and almost always Mamma is with me&mdash;we are such
-companions, you know.†Damier could not quite determine as to possible
-irony in her placid tones. He looked upon these walks with Claire&mdash;they
-would cross the Seine, looking up at Carpeaux’s jocund group on the
-Pavillon de Flore, and pace sedately in the Tuileries Gardens or up the
-Champs-Elysées&mdash;as expressions of his identification of himself<a name="page_080" id="page_080"></a> with
-Madame Vicaud’s interests, for he always felt that it pleased her that
-he should ask Claire to go; yet, after each one of them, he could not
-defend himself from the strange sensation that he had been in an
-atmosphere disloyal to his friend. The atmosphere was so different, yet
-so subtly different, when Claire was alone with him, or with him and her
-mother. So subtle was the difference that any remonstrance on his part
-might constitute a stupid rebuff to her unconsciousness; yet so
-different were her tones, her look, her laugh, so different the quality
-of her frankness, its <i>gaillardise</i>, as it were, and its familiarity,
-almost insolent in its assurance&mdash;so different were all these that he
-could hardly believe her unconscious of the change. He did understand
-her; that was the trouble: for she acted as if he did, and as if all
-pretenses were unnecessary between them, and free breathing a relief to
-both after a burdensome atmosphere. Damier, while they walked, showed a
-grave kindliness, listened to her, assented<a name="page_081" id="page_081"></a> or dissented with a careful
-accuracy that amused himself. He was not quite sure why, with Claire, he
-seldom felt it safe to be flexible or flippant; some dim instinct of
-self-protection before this embryotic soul and quick intelligence made
-him guard himself against all misinterpretations, made him scrupulous in
-defining the differences between them. Claire referred little to her
-mother, and then, at least in the beginnings of their intercourse, in
-the tones of commonplace respect, with something of the effect, he more
-and more realized, of shuffling aside an excellence that they both took
-for granted but hardly cared to linger over&mdash;she certainly did not,
-though he might have odd, pretty tastes for the past and done with.</p>
-
-<p>What to him was poetry&mdash;for, to a certain extent, she seemed to
-appreciate his attitude toward her mother&mdash;was to her the mere furniture
-of life. Damier resented, but for some time was helpless; she gave him
-no occasion for declaration or defense. Once or twice, when, <i>à propos<a name="page_082" id="page_082"></a>
-de bottes</i>, as far as actual comment was required, he seriously spoke of
-his deep admiration for her mother, Claire listened with a
-<i>cela-va-sans-dire</i> expression vastly baffling. Only by degrees, and
-only after some definite sharpnesses on his side, did she seem to
-realize that, in including him in her own casual attitude toward her
-mother, she not only misinterpreted but irritated and antagonized him.
-After that realization she never so offended again. Indeed, with an air
-of honoring his fantastic sensitiveness, yet with gravity, as if to show
-him that she, too, could appreciate moral charm, the pathos of defeat
-and finality, she often alluded to her mother’s fine and gracious
-qualities; but, in spite of this concession, Damier was still aware of
-the indefinable difference that made the atmosphere seem disloyal.</p>
-
-<p>She said one day: “You have really decided to live in Paris&mdash;for ever
-and ever&mdash;<i>hein</i>? Is it we you are studying? Do you find us
-interesting?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Very,†replied Damier.<a name="page_083" id="page_083"></a></p>
-
-<p>“But the world is full of so many more interesting people,†said Claire,
-“than two ladies, one almost old and one rapidly leaving her youth
-behind her, who live the narrowest of lives and give lessons to make
-butter for their bread.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I have not met many more interesting.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Then it is&mdash;to study us?†Her sleepy smile was upon him.</p>
-
-<p>Damier had certainly no intention of confiding in Claire the reasons for
-his stay in Paris, feeling suddenly, indeed, that the young woman
-herself formed a rather serious problem in all practical considerations
-of these reasons; yet the attitude implied in her question demanded a
-negative. “No, it isn’t because I am studying you; it is because I am
-fond of you,†he said, bringing out the words with a touch of
-awkwardness, feeling their simplicity to be almost crude.</p>
-
-<p>Claire was reflectively silent for some moments, observing his face, he
-knew, though he was not looking at her.<a name="page_084" id="page_084"></a></p>
-
-<p>“<i>Vous êtes un original</i>,†she said at last, with quite the manner of
-her race when abandoning, as impenetrable to rational probes, some
-specimen of British eccentricity.</p>
-
-<p>On another day a little incident occurred, slight, yet destined to
-impress Damier with a deeper sense of Claire’s unsoundness. They were
-walking down the Champs-Elysées, in the windy brightness of a March
-afternoon, when, in the distance, near the Rond Point, they discerned
-the easily recognizable figure of Monsieur Daunay. Claire, as this old
-friend appeared upon the field of vision, put her hand in Damier’s arm
-and, drawing him toward one of the smaller streets that slope down to
-the spacious avenue, said, smiling unemphatically: “Don’t let us meet
-him.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Why not?†Damier inquired, surprised, and conscious in his surprise of
-a quick hostility to Claire and to her smiling look of dexterous
-evasion.</p>
-
-<p>“He hasn’t seen us&mdash;come,†she insisted, though the insistence was still
-veiled in humor.<a name="page_085" id="page_085"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Why should he not see us? I shall be glad to see him.â€</p>
-
-<p>Her eyes measured Monsieur Daunay’s distance before she said, with
-something of impatience at his slowness of comprehension: “He will be
-shocked&mdash;think it improper&mdash;our walking out alone like this.†Damier
-stared at her, stolidly resistant to the soft pull of her hand.</p>
-
-<p>“Improper? Your mother consenting&mdash;you an Englishwoman, I an
-Englishman?â€</p>
-
-<p>“He is a Frenchman, and I am half French; you seem to forget that, both
-you and Mamma, at times.†If she was irritated with him she successfully
-controlled her irritation, and Monsieur Daunay was so near that flight
-before his misinterpretation was impossible. She evidently resigned
-herself to the situation of Damier’s making&mdash;let him feel, with a shrug
-of her shoulders, that it was of his making indeed, but, by a
-half-indifferent, half-ironic smile, that he was forgiven; he must be
-strong enough for both of them, the smile said.<a name="page_086" id="page_086"></a></p>
-
-<p>Monsieur Daunay approached, doffing his hat, and Damier at once
-perceived that there was certainly in his eye a cogitation very
-courteous, but altogether out of keeping, he thought, with the
-importance of its cause. He himself felt absent-minded, his thoughts
-engaged more with the analysis of the new and disagreeable sensation
-Claire had given him than with the sensations she might have given
-Monsieur Daunay. He replied somewhat vaguely to Monsieur Daunay’s
-salutations, and, not so vaguely, heard Claire saying, “Mamma has sent
-us out for a walk.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Fine weather for walking,†Monsieur Daunay replied, looking away from
-the young woman up at the vivid spring sky and round at the expansive
-day, all wind, sunlight, and sauntering groups of people.</p>
-
-<p>“You often walk here?†he continued pleasantly.</p>
-
-<p>“Not so often; I am too hard worked to get a frequent holiday: but Mr.
-Damier takes us out sometimes.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Madame Vicaud is at home?<a name="page_087" id="page_087"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; she has pupils, or she would have been with us.â€</p>
-
-<p>“She is well, I trust?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Very well. We shall see you at tea to-morrow?†Claire laid a gently
-urgent hand upon his arm. “I have been practising the Gluck. I think you
-will be pleased with it. You will come?â€</p>
-
-<p>“With great pleasure, as always,†said the Frenchman, but still with
-something of unwonted gravity beneath his apparent ease.</p>
-
-<p>They parted, and Claire and Damier walked on.</p>
-
-<p>“He was shocked,†said Claire, mildly.</p>
-
-<p>Monsieur Daunay might or might not be shocked, but Damier felt that he
-himself was, more so than he could quite account for. He fixed upon that
-wholly unnecessary half-untruth of hers; he could not let it pass.</p>
-
-<p>“We have often come here; your mother has only once come with us,†he
-said, with the effect of cold shyness that his displeasure usually took;
-it always required<a name="page_088" id="page_088"></a> an effort of distinct courage on Eustace Damier’s
-part to express displeasure.</p>
-
-<p>“There was no necessity for him to know that,†she returned, adding,
-with a laugh: “Now I have shocked both of you&mdash;he in his <i>convenances</i>,
-you in your English veracity. I don’t mind fibbing in the least, I must
-tell you.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t you?†His displeasure was now determined to show its definite
-coolness.</p>
-
-<p>“Not in the least,†said Claire, with perfect good humor, “in myself or
-in othersâ€; and she added, with a little laugh at herself, “unless other
-people’s fibs interfere with mine; but I think that I mind their fibs
-interfering less than their truths.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier resigned himself to feeling that, after all, he was thoroughly
-prepared for any such developments in Claire; it was the tragedy in the
-thought of the other Clara that was knocking at his heart.<a name="page_089" id="page_089"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="IX" id="IX"></a>IX</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_T.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_T_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="76"
-alt="T"
-/></span></a>HE arrival in Paris, where she was to pass some months,
-of a friend of Damier’s, Lady Surfex, a charming, capable woman whose
-husband was his nearest friend, was the means of casting a further and
-still more lurid light upon Claire’s character and Madame Vicaud’s past.</p>
-
-<p>Damier wished to bring Madame Vicaud and Lady Surfex together. He had
-plans, and was vastly amused to realize that they were of a quite
-paternal character. These plans did not go beyond the thought that a
-widening of Claire’s life might be an excellent thing for her, and, as a
-result, a happy thing for her mother. To see Claire well, safely,
-happily married, would not this be the lifting<a name="page_090" id="page_090"></a> of a problem from the
-mother’s heart? As yet he had not gone further and told himself that it
-would leave the mother’s heart freer for the contemplation of other
-problems. Now Claire’s chances of a prosperous marriage would certainly
-be multiplied if he could bring around her and her mother a few such
-friends as Lady Surfex. He spoke to her, on his first visit to her, of
-the Vicauds, and of his wish that they might meet. “The charming Clara
-Chanfrey!†Lady Surfex said. (With what a chime all allusions to Clara
-Chanfrey always began, to end with such funereal tolling!) “Ah, you make
-me feel how old I am becoming, for how often in my girlhood I heard my
-mother speak of her! She always spoke severely. Mother belonged to the
-old régime, you know&mdash;saw things steadily, and saw them whole, perhaps,
-but rather narrowly, and only one thing at a time. She couldn’t take in,
-as it were, the extenuations of circumstance. And she was a great friend
-of Lady Chanfrey’s. Lady Chanfrey infected all her allies<a name="page_091" id="page_091"></a> with her own
-bitterness. But the memory of the daughter’s charm came through it. She
-was like her father, not like her mother. I never liked the little I
-remember of Lady Chanfrey. But I have heard of Madame Vicaud since I
-used to hear of her from mother, and, I am sorry to say, more and more
-sadly.â€</p>
-
-<p>“All I hear of her is sad,†said Damier. “Every echo from her past is a
-groan!â€</p>
-
-<p>“Poor woman!†Lady Surfex mused. “First the awful husband, and then the,
-to say the least of it, trying daughter.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier’s heart stiffened. “Trying? In what way&mdash;I may ask?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Of course you may&mdash;you know them so well; and, as I see, your sympathy
-is all with the mother. Well, I am afraid she is altogether trying, but
-the instance of which I was thinking deserves a severer adjective. Some
-friends of mine in Cheshire, nice, quiet people, had always kept more or
-less in touch with Madame Vicaud during her stormy life. They did not
-meet, but they sometimes wrote.<a name="page_092" id="page_092"></a> Mrs. Barnett and she had been friends
-in girlhood. Claire, when she grew up, went to stay with them. Very
-beautiful, very clever, singing wonderfully, yet, from the beginning,
-she struck a false note. And then there was the ugly little story: a
-young man, Captain Dauncey, fell madly in love with her; they were
-engaged; and, within hardly a month’s time, she jilted him openly and
-brazenly for a better match. That was only the beginning. Sir Everard
-Comber was madly in love, too, but Mrs. Barnett told me that they felt
-that he knew there was no good metal under her glamour; the glamour was
-so great that he hoodwinked himself. It was tragic to see him trying not
-to see. And one day he and Mrs. Barnett found Mademoiselle Vicaud
-engaged in a flirtation in an arbor, indolently allowing an adoring
-young man to kiss her hand, his arm around her waist. Mrs. Barnett said
-that it was the most unpleasant of situations&mdash;poor Sir Everard’s face,
-the girl’s look of dismay, followed by an instant<a name="page_093" id="page_093"></a> assumption of
-coolness. She was able, almost at once, to show a humorous, half-vexed,
-half-tolerant smile, and to pretend that she expected them to share her
-playful anger against the hugely embarrassed culprit. She behaved,
-afterward, very badly about Sir Everard’s breaking off the engagement,
-which he did most delicately and generously. She had no dignity; she was
-furious, and showed that she was. She even hinted once&mdash;only once, but
-it was enough&mdash;at a breach-of-promise suit and damages.</p>
-
-<p>“Madame Vicaud appeared in the midst of the commotion, and quenched in a
-moment the ugly flicker of vulgarity. The Barnetts guessed that there
-must have been a terrible scene between the two, but Madame Vicaud
-carried off her daughter, completely quelled, it seemed. She could not
-save the situation; she merely made it tragic instead of odious. That is
-the story,†said Lady Surfex, after a pause in which Damier, with a
-whitened face, kept a sick silence&mdash;“only the story, after<a name="page_094" id="page_094"></a> all, of a
-vulgar girl who makes her mother piteous.</p>
-
-<p>“I should love to meet Madame Vicaud. She does not know that I know,
-nor, I think, does the girl. The best thing, I fancy, would be if the
-girl could be married off to somebody who understood&mdash;and didn’t mind.
-Don’t you think so? Could we try to help Madame Vicaud like that?â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier could not think just now of Claire’s future; he was thinking,
-persistently, of Madame Vicaud&mdash;seeing her as a white flower sunken up
-to the brave and fragile petals in mud. The past clung to her in her
-daughter&mdash;greedy, husband-hunting, lax, and vulgar. What must the
-tortured mother’s heart have felt at this heaping of shame upon her
-proudest head? How, more and more, he understood, and interpreted, her
-silences, her reserves!</p>
-
-<p>In a dry voice he said that he could hardly hope for any possible
-atonement to Madame Vicaud.</p>
-
-<p>“Have I been wrong in telling you&mdash;ungenerous?†asked Lady Surfex.<a name="page_095" id="page_095"></a></p>
-
-<p>“No; right. It makes one more able to help her; or, at least, to feel
-where she most needs help. It is only in lifting the daughter that one
-can help her.â€</p>
-
-<p>“We will lift her!†said Lady Surfex, with a glance at his absorbed
-face. “And then, if we do,&mdash;right out of the mother’s life,&mdash;what will
-she do alone?â€</p>
-
-<p>“She would never allow her to be lifted out of her life.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Well, only in the literal sense of going away to live with her
-husband.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Her husband! It seems a difficult thing to find her one!â€</p>
-
-<p>“Not so much to find one&mdash;she is enchanting in appearance, I hear&mdash;as to
-keep one. But no doubt she is wiser, better, now. And would you,
-Eustace, live on in Paris indefinitely if the girl married and left her
-mother alone? Is your friendship so absorbing?â€</p>
-
-<p>He was able to look at her now with a smile for her acuteness.</p>
-
-<p>“Quite so absorbing.<a name="page_096" id="page_096"></a>â€</p>
-
-<h2><a name="X" id="X"></a>X</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_Y.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_Y_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="76"
-alt="Y"
-/></span></a>ET that very evening Damier was to have his freshly
-emphasized disgust unsettled, as theories are so constantly unsettled by
-new developments of fact. Claire did not show him a new fact about
-herself; she merely explained herself a little further, and made it
-evident that one could not label her “vulgar†and so dispose of her.</p>
-
-<p>It was, curiously, with a keener throb of pity, in the very midst of all
-his new reasons for disliking her, that he found her alone in the salon,
-sitting, in her white evening dress, near the open window&mdash;opened on the
-warm spring twilight. There was something of lassitude in her posture,
-the half-droop of her head as she stared vaguely at the sky, something
-of<a name="page_097" id="page_097"></a> passive, patient strength, a creature that no one could
-love&mdash;even&mdash;even&mdash;he had wondered over it more and more of late&mdash;her
-mother? The wonder never came without a sense of fear for the
-desecration that such a thought implied in its forcing itself into an
-inner shrine of sorrow.</p>
-
-<p>His vision in all that concerned the woman he loved had something of a
-clairvoyant quality. At times he felt himself closing his ears, shutting
-his eyes, to whispers, glimpses, which as yet he had no right to see or
-hear.</p>
-
-<p>That evening he was to dine with Madame Vicaud, Claire, and little
-Sophie; and Claire’s gown, he felt in prospective, would make poor
-Sophie’s ill-fitting blouse look odd by contrast in the box at the
-theater where he was afterward to take them. He had, indeed, never seen
-the girl look more lovely. His over-early arrival had had as its object
-the hope of finding, not the daughter, but the mother, alone. Yet,
-sitting there in the quiet evening air, talking quietly, looking from<a name="page_098" id="page_098"></a>
-dim tree-tops outside to Claire’s white form and splendid head, he felt
-that the unasked-for hour had its interest, even its charm. Claire did
-not charm him, but the mystery of her deep thoughts and shallow heart
-was as alluring to his mind as the merely pictorial attraction of her
-beauty to his eye.</p>
-
-<p>“The chief thing,†said Claire,&mdash;they had been talking in a desultory
-fashion about life, and in speaking she stretched out her arm in its
-transparent sleeve and looked at it with her placid, powerful look,
-adjusting its fall of lace over her hand,&mdash;“the chief thing is to know
-what you want and to determine to get it. People who do that get what
-they want, you know&mdash;unless circumstances are peculiarly antagonistic.â€
-(Damier, in the light of his recent knowledge, found this phrase very
-pregnant.) “You, for instance, have never known exactly what you wanted;
-therefore you have got nothing. My father knew that he wanted to paint
-well&mdash;you rarely hear us speak of my father, do you?<a name="page_099" id="page_099"></a>&mdash;though Mamma, you
-see, has his photograph conspicuously <i>en évidence</i> up there, lest I
-should think too ill of him&mdash;or guess how ill she thinks of him herself.
-I hardly knew my father at all; he was, no doubt, what is called a very
-bad man, but clever, very clever. He determined to paint well, and he
-did. You know his pictures. I don’t care about pictures, but I suppose
-there are few of that epoch that can be compared to that Luxembourg
-canvas of his. Mamma, do you know, never goes to see it. She has never
-really recovered from the shock poor papa gave her prejudices&mdash;the
-prejudices of the <i>jeune fille anglaise</i>. Iâ€&mdash;she smiled a little at
-him, gliding quickly past the silent displeasure that her last words had
-evoked in his expression&mdash;“I have a very restricted field for choice;
-but I determine to be well dressed. I have small aims, you say; but with
-me, as yet, circumstances are very antagonistic. I should like many
-pleasures, but as there is only one I can achieve, I am wise as well as
-determined;<a name="page_100" id="page_100"></a> what I do determine comes to pass. And Mamma&mdash;yes, I am
-coming to her. Mamma wanted to be good, and she is, you see, perfectly
-good. And, even more than that, perhaps, she wanted me to be good, too;
-but there either her will was too weak or I too wicked&mdash;the latter,
-probably, for she has a strong will.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Perhaps,†said Damier, smiling as he leaned back in his chair, arms
-folded and knees crossed, listening to her&mdash;“perhaps you underestimate
-her success, or overestimate the Luciferian splendor of your own
-nature.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t think it is at all splendid,†said Claire, composedly; “some
-wickedness is, I grant you; but do I strike you as affecting that kind?â€</p>
-
-<p>“I must own that you don’t.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Or, indeed, as affecting anything either picturesque or desirable?†she
-pursued.</p>
-
-<p>Again Damier had to own that she affected no such thing.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, that is well. I should not like you to misinterpret me,†said
-Claire. “I make no poses.†And after a slight pause in which<a name="page_101" id="page_101"></a> he
-wondered anew over her, she added: “I merely like enjoyment better than
-anything else in the world.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Yours, you know, is a very old philosophy&mdash;a universe of will and
-enjoyment; but one must have a great deal of the former to attain the
-latter in a world of so many clashing aims,†said Damier.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, one must.â€</p>
-
-<p>“And not the highest type of will. The world, so seen, is a terrible
-one.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Do you think so?†Her look, from the sky, drifted lazily down to him.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t you?â€</p>
-
-<p>“No; I think it wonderful, enthralling, if one attains one’s aims; it is
-all beautiful, even the suffering&mdash;if one avoids suffering one’s self.â€</p>
-
-<p>“You are an esthete&mdash;</p>
-
-<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
-<span class="i6">While safe beneath the roof,<br /></span>
-<span class="i0">To hear with drowsy ear the plash of rain.â€<br /></span>
-</div></div>
-
-<p>“Oh, better than rain&mdash;the tempest!â€</p>
-
-<p>“And how can one avoid suffering, pray?<a name="page_102" id="page_102"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“<i>Mais</i>,â€&mdash;Claire had a tolerant smile for his naïveté,&mdash;“by staying
-under the roof, laughing round the fire. Mamma, you see, would be
-darting out continually into the storm.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Bringing other people back to shelter.â€</p>
-
-<p>“And crowding us uncomfortably round the fire, getting the rest of us
-wet!†smiled Claire. “For a case in point&mdash;don’t you find Sophie a bore?
-She was going to commit suicide when Mamma, through something Miss
-Vibert said, found her. Yes, I assure you, the charcoal was lit&mdash;her
-last sous spent on it. And really, do you know, I think it would have
-been a wise thing. Don’t be too much horrified at my heartlessness. I
-mean that Sophie will never enjoy herself; nothing in this world will
-ever satisfy her. When she has enough to eat she can realize more
-clearly her higher wants. And&mdash;I don’t want to seem more ungenerous than
-I am, but, as a result, we have less to eat ourselves. Don’t look so
-stony; I am not really <i>un mauvais cœur</i>. I would willingly dot<a name="page_103" id="page_103"></a>
-Sophie, buy her the best husband procurable if I had the money; but
-husbands and houses and money wouldn’t make Sophie comfortable, and I
-don’t really see that much is gained by making two people less so in
-order to insure the survival of one unfit little Pole.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I need hardly tell you that I don’t share the ruthless materialism of
-that creed. Who, my dear young woman, are you, to pronounce on Sophie’s
-unfitness, and to decide that you, rather than she, have a right to
-survival?â€</p>
-
-<p>Claire looked at him for a moment with a smile unresentful and yet
-rueful.</p>
-
-<p>“How often you surprise me,†she said, “and how often you make me feel
-that I don’t, even yet, quite understand you! It is so difficult to
-realize that a person so comprehending can at the same time be so rigid.
-With you <i>tout comprendre</i> is not <i>tout pardonner</i>.â€</p>
-
-<p>“By no means,†Damier owned, unable to repress a smile.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, I would far rather have you understand<a name="page_104" id="page_104"></a> me completely, even if
-you can’t forgive. I told you that I was wicked; one good point I have:
-I never pretend to be better than I am.â€</p>
-
-<p>“And one better point you have, and that is that you are better than you
-know.†Damier spoke lightly, but at the moment he believed what he
-spoke.</p>
-
-<p>Claire smiled without replying, and said, after a little silence:</p>
-
-<p>“Of course you have seen how good Mamma is. You both of you have a moral
-perfume, and recognize it in each other. I puzzle and worry her so
-because I won’t suffer, won’t go out of my life into other people’s. You
-asked me how one could avoid suffering; really, for the most part, it is
-very easy to avoid. Sympathy is the fatal thing: <i>to suffer with</i>&mdash;why
-should one? It is a mere increasing of the suffering in the world, if
-one comes to think of it. The wise thing is to concentrate one’s
-self&mdash;to bring things to one’s self; but it is that wisdom that Mamma
-will not understand in me.<a name="page_105" id="page_105"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier made no comment on these assertions, and Claire, as if she had
-expected none, as if, indeed, she were expounding herself and her mother
-for her own benefit as well as his, went on:</p>
-
-<p>“She is very energetic, too, Mamma, as energetic as I am, but in a
-different way. She is always striving&mdash;against things; I wait. Even if
-she can’t see distinctly at what she is aiming, she is always aiming at
-something; I never aim unless I see something to aim at.â€</p>
-
-<p>“What things do you aim at?†he now asked.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh&mdash;you know; things that Mamma despises&mdash;things that you too despise,
-perhaps, but that, at all events, you understand.†He could not quite
-interpret the glance that rested upon him. “And Mamma’s aims&mdash;I suppose
-you don’t care to hear what I think of them?â€</p>
-
-<p>“On the contrary, for you think very clearly. But I know what she has
-aimed at. What has she attained?â€</p>
-
-<p>He asked himself the question, indeed,<a name="page_106" id="page_106"></a> with an inner lamentation for
-the one evident, the one tragic failure.</p>
-
-<p>“Well,â€&mdash;Claire clasped her hands behind her head and looked out of the
-window,&mdash;“for one thing, she has kept herself&mdash;she hasn’t attained it:
-that wasn’t needful&mdash;<i>très grande dame</i>. She has always made herself a
-social milieu congenial to her, or gone without one. For herself she
-would not choose and exclude so carefully; but I complicate Mamma’s
-spontaneous impulses. The social milieu has always been to her a soil in
-which to try to grow my soul; that is why she is so careful about the
-soil; if it were not for me she would probably choose the stoniest and
-ugliest, and beautify it by blooming in it, since her soul is strong and
-beneficent.â€</p>
-
-<p>Half repelled and half attracted as Damier had been, it was now with
-more of attraction than repulsion that he listened, an attraction that
-had many sources. That she should so finely appreciate her mother was
-one. It was touching&mdash;meant to be so, perhaps, for even in his
-attraction he<a name="page_107" id="page_107"></a> had these moments of doubt; but a sincerity that could
-paint herself so unbecomingly and her mother so beautifully was a new
-revelation of her frankness. There was attraction, too, though of a
-mingled quality, in her strength and in her apparent indifference to his
-impression of her. These were better things than the glamour; yet that,
-too, he felt, as when she turned her eyes on him and said that the world
-was beautiful. At such moments something joyous and conscienceless in
-him responded to her, half intellectual comprehension and half mere
-flesh and blood. It was a little swirl of emotion that his soul, calm
-and disdainfully aloof, could look down on and observe, in no danger of
-being shaken by it; but it did swirl through him like a tremulous coil
-of Venusberg music; and Claire, in her transparent white, with her heavy
-braids and grave, shining eyes, gleamed at such moments with the baleful
-beauty of the eternal siren. As long as one was human something human in
-one must respond to<a name="page_108" id="page_108"></a> that siren call. Even now, when he was feeling,
-with some bewilderment, better things in her, the glamour looking from
-her eyes, breathing from her serious lips, confused and troubled the new
-impulse of trust and pity. Half lightly, half sadly, yet with a very
-gentle kindliness, he said to her: “Strong enough to make you flower
-some day, let us believeâ€; and, as silently she still gazed upon him:
-“That you should recognize beauty is already a flower, you know.â€</p>
-
-<p>Still leaning back, her arms behind her head, still looking at him,
-Claire now said: “I owe that flower, not to her, but to you.â€</p>
-
-<p>He stared for a moment, not comprehending.</p>
-
-<p>“You mean that you see her, appreciate her, through my sight, my
-appreciation?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Yes&mdash;in a sense, I mean that.â€</p>
-
-<p>“But,†said Damier, smiling, “you owe it to her that there is something
-beautiful to see.â€</p>
-
-<p>He was mystified, not quite trusting, yet touched.<a name="page_109" id="page_109"></a></p>
-
-<p>Claire, without moving, turned her eyes on the door. “Here she is,†she
-said; and as her mother entered, she added, in the lowest voice above a
-whisper, so vaguely that it was like a fragrant perturbing influence
-breathing from the twilight and the spring air:</p>
-
-<p>“I like to owe all my flowers to you.â€</p>
-
-<p>Already, as he rose to greet the mother, he liked the daughter less.</p>
-
-<p>Madame Vicaud, in her black dress, with flowing white about her wrists
-and throat,&mdash;a throat erect and beautiful,&mdash;had closed the door softly
-behind her, and as she came toward him, Damier, involuntarily carrying
-further his Venusberg simile of some moments before, thought of an
-Elizabeth bringing peace and radiance; yet there was, too, a gravity in
-her gaze, a quick intentness that went swiftly from her daughter to him.
-Then the smile and the lightness masked her. She took his hand.</p>
-
-<p>“Has not Sophie come yet? Of what have you been talking?<a name="page_110" id="page_110"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“Of life, and how to live it,†laughed Damier.</p>
-
-<p>“Wise young people! Was it a contest of sublimities?†Madame Vicaud laid
-down the evening wrap she had brought in, and, it seemed to Damier,
-averted her face from him as she took up a box of matches.</p>
-
-<p>“Do I ever fight under the banner of sublimity, Mamma?†Claire inquired,
-looking out of the window, showing once more her accustomed lassitude
-and detachment. “I leave those becoming colors to you&mdash;and to Mr.
-Damier.â€</p>
-
-<p>“But don’t, even in jest, my dear, assume always the unbecoming ones,â€
-Madame Vicaud replied, still with all her lightness, and bending, her
-face still averted, to strike a match. “You have discovered, have you
-not, Mr. Damier, that it is difficult for Claire to assume the virtues
-that she has?â€</p>
-
-<p>She moved about the room, lighting the candles on the mantelpiece and on
-the cabinet where her husband’s portrait stood;<a name="page_111" id="page_111"></a> and Damier, watching
-the swift blackness of her girlish figure, the slender white of her
-uplifted hand,&mdash;the black more black, the white more white, as the
-radiance slowly grew in the dim room,&mdash;still fancied that she was
-mastering some emotion, hiding from him some sudden agitation. There was
-a faint flush on her face as she turned, gaily and sweetly, blowing out
-and tossing away her match, to welcome Sophie.<a name="page_112" id="page_112"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XI" id="XI"></a>XI</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_D.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_D_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="78"
-alt="D"
-/></span></a>AMIER was well aware that some trivial and purely
-subjective fancy or emotion may oddly color and distort reality for one,
-and he was not quite able to decide whether change there really were in
-Madame Vicaud, or whether it was only in his imagination that the
-difference he had fancied in her on that evening was continued during
-the following days. She seemed, in her relations with him, more intimate
-and yet more effaced; and he was almost sure&mdash;or was it only the
-reflection of his own solicitude cast upon her?&mdash;that she watched him,
-speculated upon him, more than at any time in their friendship, and
-always with that controlled agitation. It was almost as if she guessed
-his new knowledge and understanding of<a name="page_113" id="page_113"></a> her sorrows and humiliations; as
-if she wondered how much he knew, and how much he was going to let her
-see that he knew. And if she seemed more intimate yet more effaced,
-Claire, for a little while at all events, was less intimate yet more in
-evidence. He had the rather uncomfortable feeling that Claire had
-implied on that evening more than he had been able to understand; that
-she had laid upon him some responsibility that he really never had
-undertaken to accept: but she did not emphasize it further, seemed
-content to let it remain indefinitely apprehended by him, and the slight
-discomfort and perplexity he had felt passed from his mind, leaving only
-in a half-conscious undercurrent the mood of vague doubt and withdrawal,
-mingling with a deeper pity, a deeper desire to help&mdash;for her own sake
-now as well as for her mother’s.</p>
-
-<p>It was odd, this hint of withdrawal and formality, in the midst of a
-greater kindness, when Claire occupied so much more conspicuously the
-foreground. She was<a name="page_114" id="page_114"></a> now always with her mother; was a third in all
-talks and readings, listening, with eyes almost ironically vacant, her
-hands lying beautifully indolent in her lap, while Damier read aloud and
-her mother sewed. Claire did not seem to have stepped forward, but her
-mother seemed to have stepped back; and from the background&mdash;a
-mysterious one to his odd, new apprehension of things&mdash;she smiled more
-tenderly than before, and with yet a tremor, an intentness, as though
-expecting him to understand more than she could look.</p>
-
-<p>And all this might be merely an emotional color in his own outlook on
-unchanged facts, but the color certainly was there, making a faintly
-tinted difference over all the mental landscape.</p>
-
-<p>It was during the first days of this dim perplexity that he found
-himself alone once more with Madame Vicaud. He had outstayed all her
-guests on a Tuesday afternoon, and, the Viberts having taken Claire back
-to dine with them, Madame Vicaud<a name="page_115" id="page_115"></a> asked the young man to share her
-solitude.</p>
-
-<p>Now, when they were alone, and while he sat cutting the leaves of a new
-book they were to read together, she went about the room, putting things
-back in their places, closing the piano&mdash;a little restless in her
-restoration of composure to the room.</p>
-
-<p>Presently she came to him, stood beside him, looking down at the book.
-“Always friends, you know,†she said, putting a hand on his shoulder and
-speaking lightly, almost incidentally.</p>
-
-<p>“Why not?†Damier asked, looking up at her.</p>
-
-<p>“Indeed, why not?†she returned, smiling. “Nothing, I hope, would ever
-change our friendship.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Nothing could.†She stood silently beside him, looking down, not at
-him, but at the volume of essays, and he added: “You will tell me if you
-are ever in any trouble or sorrow where I could help you, if ever so
-little?<a name="page_116" id="page_116"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, yes; I will tell you,†she answered, still with the lightness that
-contrasted with the tremor of Damier’s voice.</p>
-
-<p>Moving away, she asked him, presently, if he did not think that Claire’s
-singing that afternoon had been very intelligent. She had sung Orféo’s
-song of search and supplication through Hades, her mother accompanying
-her on the harp. Damier had not altogether cared for Claire’s
-interpretation of the song. Claire’s voice had thrown an enchantment
-around a rather over-emotional, yet an untender, conception of it.</p>
-
-<p>“Her voice is glorious,†he said.</p>
-
-<p>“The song is to me one of the most beautiful parts of the opera,†said
-Madame Vicaud; “that lonely, steadfast love, throbbing onward, through
-horror.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Ah,†was on Damier’s lips, “you have said what she could not singâ€; but
-he had long felt that appreciation of Claire was the greatest pleasure
-he could give to her mother, and depreciation the greatest pain. He
-therefore sat silently looking at her,<a name="page_117" id="page_117"></a> leaning forward, his hands
-clasped around the idle book-cutter; and Madame Vicaud, with all her
-calm, went on presently, taking up her sewing as she sat near the lamp
-with its plain green shade: “Do you think Claire’s life very gray&mdash;very
-dreary?â€</p>
-
-<p>The question from one who, on this subject of her daughter’s upbringing,
-seemed always inflexibly sure of her own aims, surprised Damier, and its
-chiming with his own recent thoughts disturbed him. After all, was,
-perhaps, Claire’s gray life an explanation, in one sense, of her ugly
-clutch at any brightness? Yet the serenity, the sweet, if laborious,
-dignity of the place her mother had made for her in life, hardly allowed
-the mitigating supposition. Claire’s life was really neither gray nor
-dreary. He paused, however, for a long time before saying: “From her
-point of view it probably is.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I should have liked to give her a larger life, a life of more
-opportunity, more gaiety. I feel the narrowness of her path as keenly as
-she does. Not that Claire complains.<a name="page_118" id="page_118"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“You have given her your best. How could she complain?†Damier was not
-able quite to restrain the resentment he felt at the idea of Claire
-complaining.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, I could not blame her if she did,†said Madame Vicaud, her quiet
-eyes on her work, “for mothers personify circumstance to children; we
-are symbols, to them, of baffling, cramping fate; very often, and very
-naturally, we are fate’s whipping-boys: and when one is a young and
-talented and beautiful woman whose youth is passing in giving lessons,
-in seeing people who seldom interest or amuse her, fate must often seem
-to deserve blows.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier, in the surge of his comprehension,&mdash;of which she must be so
-ignorant and at which perhaps she yet guessed,&mdash;longed to throw himself
-at her knees: her pity for Claire equaled, surpassed his own; and he
-had&mdash;not blaming her for it, thinking it, indeed, the penalty of her
-superiority&mdash;thought her unconscious of Claire’s pathos.</p>
-
-<p>“You deepen your shadows too much,<a name="page_119" id="page_119"></a>†he said; “for a daughter more like
-yourself your life would not be a narrow one.†He paused, for, though
-she did not lift her eyes, a faint flush passed over Madame Vicaud’s
-face.</p>
-
-<p>“I see all your efforts to widen it,†he went on, hurrying away from
-what he felt to have been an unfortunate comparison, “the flowers you
-strew: intellectual, artistic interests, friends that you hope she may
-find congenial, your delightful teas.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Oh&mdash;our teas!†Madame Vicaud interrupted, smiling with a rather
-satirical playfulness. “No; our delightful and ‘cultured’ little teas
-can hardly atone to Claire. She should have the gaiety, the variety, the
-colored experience that I had in my youth. I can well imagine that to
-Claire’s palate the nourishment I offer her is rather tasteless. She
-needs excitement, admiration, appreciation, an outlet for her energy,
-her intelligence.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier seized the opportunity&mdash;it was, he thought, very
-propitious&mdash;again to ask her when he might bring some of his<a name="page_120" id="page_120"></a> friends in
-Paris to see her, suggesting that so Claire’s social diet might be
-pleasantly diversified. Madame Vicaud had more than once
-evaded&mdash;gracefully, kindly, and decisively&mdash;all question of renewing
-broken ties with her country-people, or making new ones, and now, again,
-she slightly flushed, as though for a moment finding him tactless and
-inopportune; but only for a moment: when she lifted her eyes to him, it
-was with all their quiet confidence of gaze.</p>
-
-<p>“I hardly know that that would be for Claire’s happiness or good. One
-must have the means of widening one’s environment if it is to be with
-comfort to one’s self. Our means are too limited to be diffused over a
-larger area. You must not forget, my friend, that we are very poor. I do
-not like accepting where I can offer nothing.â€</p>
-
-<p>“That is a false though a charming delicacy,†said Damier. “You give
-yourself; and I hope you won’t refuse to now, for I have almost promised
-you to Lady<a name="page_121" id="page_121"></a> Surfex; she is very anxious to meet you.â€</p>
-
-<p>Madame Vicaud was silent for some moments, her eyes downcast to the work
-where she put firm, rapid stitches; then, in a voice that had suddenly
-grown icy, “Her mother did not recognize me one day, years ago, when she
-met me walking with my husband,†she said.</p>
-
-<p>It was now Damier’s turn to flush. He nerved himself, after a moment, to
-say:</p>
-
-<p>“But this is not the mother.â€</p>
-
-<p>“No; and my husband is dead: otherwise the wish to meet me would not
-overcome that disability.â€</p>
-
-<p>“You are a little unjust, my dearest friend,†said the young man.</p>
-
-<p>“I know the world,†she replied; but she raised her eyes in saying it,
-and looked at him with a sad kindness that separated him from the world
-she knew. “I don’t judge it&mdash;only see it as it is. It seeks happiness,
-it avoids unhappiness. To be unfortunate is to be lost, in its eyes&mdash;to
-sink from sight. To be fortunate is to have<a name="page_122" id="page_122"></a> a radiance around one; and
-the world seeks radiance.â€</p>
-
-<p>After looking at him she again bent her eyes, and still sewed on while
-she spoke. “When I needed it, it abandoned me. When I was in the dark,
-it did not look for me. I strayed&mdash;through stubborn folly, perhaps;
-perhaps, too, through generous ignorance&mdash;into a quicksand, and not a
-hand was held out to me. I was allowed to sink; I was déclassée, I am
-déclassée, in the eyes of all of those who were of my world.†The cold
-flame of a long resentment burned in her steady voice. “I have tested
-average human nature,†she resumed, after a slight pause, in which he
-saw her breast heave slowly. “It is a severe test, I own; but, after it,
-it is with difficulty that I can trust again. I have no wish to know
-people who, if I were in dire straits, would pass over on the other side
-of the way. The few friends I have I have proved&mdash;the comtesse, Madame
-Dépressier, Lady Vibert, Monsieur Daunay,&mdash;who had much to bear from my<a name="page_123" id="page_123"></a>
-husband,&mdash;Sophie; there are a few more, very few; and then, you, my
-friend.â€</p>
-
-<p>She stopped sewing&mdash;the rapid movements of her hand had been almost
-automatic&mdash;and looked at him, her work falling to her knee. “Come here,â€
-she said, holding out her hand to him, “come here. Have I seemed harsh
-to you?†Her sudden smile dwelt on him with a divine sweetness. “I am
-harsh&mdash;but not to you.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier, with an eagerness almost pathetically boyish, had sprung to her
-side, and she took his hand, smiling up at him. “Not to you. You have
-enlarged my trust&mdash;need I say how much? Don’t ask me to alloy it with
-dubious admixtures.â€</p>
-
-<p>His love for her was yet so founded on a sort of sacred fear that at
-this moment of delicious happiness he did not dare to stoop and confess
-all with a lover’s kiss upon her hair, did not even dare to look a
-confession of more than a responsive affection.</p>
-
-<p>She pressed his hand, still smiling at<a name="page_124" id="page_124"></a> him, and then, resuming her
-sewing, “Sit near me,†she said, “so I can see that you are not fancying
-that I am harsh with you!â€</p>
-
-<p>At such moments he could see in her eyes, that caressed one, made
-sweetest amends to one, touches of what must once have been enchanting
-roguishness.</p>
-
-<p>“But I am still going to risk your harshness,†he said; “I am still
-going to ask you to let your trust in me include my friend. She would
-stand tests. Won’t you take my word for it?â€</p>
-
-<p>“I believe that I would take your word for anything.â€</p>
-
-<p>“And,†said Damier, looking his thanks, “all you say is true. I don’t
-want to justify man’s ways to man; and yet ordinary human nature, with
-its almost inevitable self-regarding instinct, its climb toward
-happiness, its ugly struggle for successful attainment of it, is more
-forgetful than cruel toward unhappiness. One must be patient with it;
-one must remember that only the exceptional natures can rise above that<a name="page_125" id="page_125"></a>
-primitive instinct. To take the other road is to embrace the sacrifice
-of all the second-rate joys&mdash;the only real joys to the average human
-being. One must either yield to the instinct or fight it, and most
-people are too lazy, too skeptical of other than apparent good, to do
-that. And then you must remember&mdash;I must, for how often I have struggled
-with these thoughts!&mdash;that misfortune is a mask, a disguise. One can’t
-be recognized and known when one wears it; one can’t show one’s self; if
-one could there would perhaps be responses. People are base&mdash;most of
-them are base, perhaps; but sometimes they are only blind or stupid.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I sometimes think that I am all three,†said Madame Vicaud, after a
-little pause. “Misfortune’s distorting mask has become in me an
-actuality. I am perhaps blinded; certainly, as I told you, warped and
-hardened. I used not to be so; it was, I suppose, latent in me: I could
-not bear the fiery ordeal; the good shriveled and the dross remained.<a name="page_126" id="page_126"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>She spoke with a full gravity, no hint of plaintive self-pity, no appeal
-for contradiction, in her voice; yet, on raising her saddened eyes, she
-had to smile when she met his look.</p>
-
-<p>“I see,†she said, “that you are determined to take me at your own
-valuation, not at mine.â€</p>
-
-<p>She turned the talk after that; she could seldom be led to talk of
-herself, and not until dinner was over, not until, after it, he had read
-to her for an hour, did she return to its subject. Then it was when he
-rose to go that, giving him her hand in farewell, she said:</p>
-
-<p>“Bring your friend; I shall be glad to see her.<a name="page_127" id="page_127"></a>â€</p>
-
-<h2><a name="XII" id="XII"></a>XII</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_I.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_I_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="74"
-alt="I"
-/></span></a>T was as a result of this new friendship, which rapidly
-spread into half a dozen, that Damier, who seemed to himself to be
-walking among echoes of the past and whispered prophecies of the future,
-received yet another hint, another faint yet significant revelation, of
-Madame Vicaud’s attitude toward her daughter.</p>
-
-<p>In the more or less fluctuating social world of English Paris, the
-beautiful and distinguished mother and her beautiful and effective
-daughter struck a novel and quite resounding note,&mdash;too resounding for
-Madame Vicaud’s taste, Damier at once felt,&mdash;a note well sustained by a
-harmony so decisive as Lady Surfex, Mrs. Wallingham (another new
-friend), and Damier himself.<a name="page_128" id="page_128"></a> That Madame Vicaud disliked feeling
-herself a note sustained by any harmony, Damier guessed. That she
-mastered the dislike for his sake, he knew. He knew that she would do a
-great deal for his sake&mdash;a great deal for Lady Surfex, too. She and Lady
-Surfex liked each other absolutely. But it was through Lady Surfex, and
-her secret alliance with Damier, that the problem of Claire, instead of
-being unraveled, was the more deeply involved. Claire evidently enjoyed
-this new phase of life. She had now quite frequent opportunities for
-displaying her gowns and her voice and her dancing at receptions and
-balls. Yet, already, among her new entourage, she had shown her affinity
-with its less desirable members. A rich, fashionable, and rather tawdry
-Englishwoman took a great fancy to her; and Mrs. Jefferies was the
-sister of a fashionable and tawdry brother, Lord Epsil, who at once
-manifested a decided interest in the red-haired beauty, pronounced her
-to be like Sodoma’s Judith, and made her<a name="page_129" id="page_129"></a> mother’s withdrawal of her
-from his company the more noticeable by his persistent seeking of hers.</p>
-
-<p>“It is really too bad,†Lady Surfex said to Damier. “She flirts
-outrageously with the man&mdash;if one can call that indolent tolerance
-flirting. I hope that she realizes that he is a bad lot. From a purely
-worldly point of view he can be of no advantage to her. He is married
-and has not a nice reputation.â€</p>
-
-<p>“She may not realize it, she may be indifferent to it; but her mother
-realizes and is not indifferent.â€</p>
-
-<p>“And we wanted to spare her such watchfulness!†sighed Lady Surfex.</p>
-
-<p>“It seems that we can spare her nothing,†Damier replied. At the same
-time he felt that Claire could be accused of nothing worse than too
-great a tolerance. Once or twice she spoke to him of Lord Epsil with
-half-mocking insight. “He is not like you,†she said; “the difference
-amuses me.†Claire’s intelligence was, after all, her best safeguard in
-all that did not touch<a name="page_130" id="page_130"></a> matters of delicate taste, and Damier’s only way
-of helping her mother was to watch with her&mdash;to constitute himself a
-sort of elder brother in his attitude toward Claire, and to try, by
-being much with Claire himself, to make Lord Epsil’s wish to be with her
-less able to manifest itself.</p>
-
-<p>The faint yet significant hint of what Madame Vicaud’s real feelings
-toward her daughter were came to him one evening at a dance, when she
-sat beside Lady Surfex, more beautiful, with her white face, her thick
-gray hair, in the dignity of her black dress, than any other woman
-there. He then saw on her face, as, fanning herself slowly, her head a
-little bent, she watched Claire dance, a concentration of the somberness
-it sometimes showed. It was a moment only of unconscious revelation; in
-another she had turned, with her quiet and facile gaiety, to a laughing
-comment of her companion’s. But Damier, following that momentary
-brooding look, saw in a flash its interpretation on the daughter’s face.
-Claire was dancing, exquisitely dressed, calm, competent, complacent,<a name="page_131" id="page_131"></a>
-as noticeable and as graceful a figure as any in the room. And yet&mdash;he
-had felt it from the first, but never so clearly, so tragically, as
-through that somber maternal gaze&mdash;Claire was ill-bred. It was that her
-mother should see her so that made the revelation.</p>
-
-<p>The somberness was not a fear of what others thought; she was, he knew,
-almost arrogantly indifferent to what people thought: it was what she
-herself thought that had gloomed her brow. And that she should see,
-should recognize, that affection should not mercifully have blinded her,
-filled Damier with a sort of consternation. Again all the ugly visions
-of Claire crossed his mind, and now, indeed, the mother stood transfixed
-beside them, for she, too, saw such visions. Ill-bred was a trivial,
-mitigating word.</p>
-
-<p>He realized that this very quality&mdash;call it what one would&mdash;in Claire
-was the cause of her effectiveness, the reason, too, that his hopes for
-her would probably remain unfulfilled.</p>
-
-<p>She was a woman upon whom, when<a name="page_132" id="page_132"></a> she entered a room, all men’s eyes
-turned. Her beauty was like the deep, half-triumphant, half-ominous note
-of brazen instruments. But she was not a woman that men of Madame
-Vicaud’s world, of Lady Surfex’s world, would care to marry. Had she
-been an heiress,&mdash;and she was of the type that one associates with
-unfragrant and recent wealth,&mdash;had it not been for her poverty, her
-essential obscurity, she would no doubt have been enrolled among the
-powerful young women who are watched with admiring envy as they advance
-toward a luminous match. Claire had quite the manner of placid advance,
-quite the manner (and how detestable to her mother the manner must be!)
-of a young woman bent upon “getting on.†But though her indolent
-self-assurance made people give way before her, made her talked of and
-something of a personage, she was, as a result of her launching, far
-more likely to become notorious than eminent. Any success of Claire’s
-must, like herself, be ill-bred, tainted.<a name="page_133" id="page_133"></a></p>
-
-<p>That Claire felt this, he doubted, or even that, if felt, she would
-mind; but that Madame Vicaud felt it he now agonized in knowing. And she
-had asked for her daughter neither eminence nor a luminous match; she
-had, he now saw, been glad to shield her with obscurity. That she might
-become notorious, fulfil herself completely in so becoming, would be the
-bitterest drop in her cup that fate could reserve for her.</p>
-
-<p>If she dreaded it, she kept, at all events, a stoic’s calm above the
-dread. And her restrictions, delicate, subtle, unemphasized, were about
-Claire on every side; her unobtrusive watchfulness was constantly upon
-her. With a cheerful firmness she held Claire to her duty of earning, as
-Claire had said, “the butter for her bread,†and thwarted, without
-seeming to thwart, many of her social opportunities. Damier saw, though
-only faintly, under the surface of appearance her dexterity kept smooth,
-the constant drama of the conflict, a conflict that never became open or
-avowed. He saw that Madame Vicaud<a name="page_134" id="page_134"></a>’s cleverness was so great that even
-Claire hardly knew that there was a conflict; but after what he had seen
-in the mother’s eyes on the night of the dance, he understood, at least,
-for what she was fighting.</p>
-
-<p>Damier still felt the subtle change in his relations with Claire and
-Madame Vicaud, and he had by this time adapted himself to it&mdash;adapted
-himself to seeing Claire more constantly, seeing Madame Vicaud more
-rarely alone, encouraged as he was in this sacrifice by the strong
-impression that in so doing he was pleasing her, and was emphasizing
-that silent, yet growing, nearness and intimacy.</p>
-
-<p>The silence was part of her extreme delicacy, and of her fineness of
-perception; it showed that his brotherly attitude toward Claire was what
-she had hoped for, and it was almost maternal in its sweetness of
-recognition to him, its loyalty of speechlessness toward the other
-child, the child that&mdash;he knew it so clearly now&mdash;could only give her
-profoundest pain; such a silence would a mother keep with the child that
-gave her happiness.<a name="page_135" id="page_135"></a></p>
-
-<p>He had never more strongly felt this queer medley of influences than on
-one warm summer evening when he and Madame Vicaud sat outside the salon
-on the high balcony that overlooked the garden. They had dined,&mdash;he and
-Monsieur Daunay, and Claire and her mother,&mdash;and now Claire and Monsieur
-Daunay had established themselves at the piano in the distant end of the
-salon, the pale radiance of two candles enveloping them and deepening
-the half-gloom in the room’s wide spaces.</p>
-
-<p>Outside the twilight lingered, though beneath them the June foliage made
-mysteries of gloom; the warm breathing of the summer ascended in
-fragrance from still branches; the faint stars above shone in a pale
-sky.</p>
-
-<p>They were both very silent, Damier looking at her, and she with eyes
-musingly downcast to the trees. Her face, he thought, showed a
-peculiarly deep contentment; more than that, perhaps: for he still felt
-the whisper of a mystery; still felt, in all the peace between them, a
-hint of perplexity;<a name="page_136" id="page_136"></a> still divined that, though she was tranquil, her
-tranquillity had been wrested from some struggle,&mdash;a struggle that she
-had hidden from him,&mdash;as though she had yielded something with pain,
-even though, now, she was satisfied. Patience as much as tranquillity
-was upon her lips and brow; and yet he knew that, insensibly, she had
-come to lean upon the new strength he brought into her life; that she
-depended upon him, though she confided so little; that soon, very soon,
-her eyes must answer the unspoken question in his, and solve, in the
-answer, all mysteries. Indeed, he said to himself that, Claire’s
-harassing problem all unsolved, he could not wait much longer; he must
-know just where he stood with her, and tell her where he wished to
-stand. Now, as they sat there, listening to Claire’s richly emotional
-voice,&mdash;a voice that expressed so much more than it felt,&mdash;it was
-Claire’s voice, just as it was the thought of Claire, that disturbed the
-peace, jarred upon the aspiration of his thoughts. Its beauty seemed to
-embroider the chaste and<a name="page_137" id="page_137"></a> dreaming stillness with an arabesque of
-opulent curves and flaunting tendrils. Our imaginative young man could
-almost see a whiteness invaded by urgent waves of purple and rose and
-gold. He stirred, shifted his position involuntarily and
-uneasily&mdash;wished Claire would stop singing; her voice curiously
-irritated him.</p>
-
-<p>Madame Vicaud sat with her back to the open window, and Damier, beside
-her, could not see into the room without turning his head. He did
-happen, however, to turn his head during a humming pause. Monsieur
-Daunay’s hands were still held on the last chord, while, as Damier
-thought, he demonstrated to Claire some improvement in her rendering of
-the note that had just soared above it. But as he turned lazily to
-glance at them, Damier saw a strange, an unexpected thing, a thing
-poignantly disagreeable to him. Monsieur Daunay’s face, vividly
-illuminated, was upturned to Claire’s; he was speaking below his breath,
-under cover of the humming chord, and with a look of humble yet<a name="page_138" id="page_138"></a>
-reproachful entreaty. Claire, a swift finger on her lips as she bent to
-the music, had a glance for the window, and Damier’s eyes of
-astonishment and dismay met hers. He looked away abruptly&mdash;too abruptly
-for a successful controlling of the dismay and astonishment, for he
-found Madame Vicaud’s eyes upon him, and he saw in a moment that they
-had been upon him during the swift incident&mdash;eyes filled with wonder and
-with an ignorant yet intense fear. Memories of another scene,
-hand-kissings in an arbor, flashed upon him, and he knew her thoughts.
-She met his look&mdash;as empty as he could make it&mdash;for a long moment; but
-after it she did not, also, glance into the room, where the song now
-flowed with an almost exaggerated spirit. Wrapping her arms more closely
-in her light shawl, she sat quite silent, the effort to control, to
-master the crowding of her surmises apparent in her rigidly still
-profile. Damier guessed that the surmises must, inevitably, suspect
-Claire, not Monsieur Daunay. In justice to Claire, after<a name="page_139" id="page_139"></a> the
-involuntary silence of his dismay, he could not longer be silent. After
-all, and he drew a long breath in realizing it, Claire’s past shadowed
-perhaps too deeply her present; after all, the fact was not so alarming.</p>
-
-<p>“Have you never suspected,†he said, “that Monsieur Daunay cares for
-Claire?â€</p>
-
-<p>She did not reply; turning a wan face upon him, her eyes still averted,
-she shook her head in a helpless negation of all such knowledge.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t be distressed,†said Damier, terribly afraid that he too much
-showed his own distress; “it is unfortunate for him, and wrong of him to
-keep such feeling from you; I happened just now to see its revelation in
-his face as he looked at Claire.â€</p>
-
-<p>Madame Vicaud, for another moment, said nothing, struggling, he knew,
-with those awakened memories&mdash;or were they not always awake, clutching
-at her?</p>
-
-<p>“He may care for Claire,†she then said faintly, “but she cannot care
-for him; that&mdash;you know&mdash;is impossible.<a name="page_140" id="page_140"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“Only enough, I am sure, to wish to shield him.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I could never have suspected. He is an old friend, a trusted friend. I
-must speak to him.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Let me speak to him&mdash;may I? I will walk home with him to-night.â€</p>
-
-<p>A certain relief in Madame Vicaud was taking a long, deep breath, and
-nothing could more clearly have assured him of the position he held in
-her eyes than the half-hesitating yet half-assenting consideration she
-gave to his rather odd proposal.</p>
-
-<p>“But,†she said, “will he not wonder&mdash;by what right&mdash;“</p>
-
-<p>“I speak? By the right of my fondness for you.â€</p>
-
-<p>“And for Claire, yes,†said Madame Vicaud, thoughtfully.</p>
-
-<p>Damier had not at all intended to imply this amendment, especially at a
-moment when he was so sure of not being at all fond of Claire; yet the
-trust of her inclusion was so unconscious of possible contradiction that
-he could not trouble it.<a name="page_141" id="page_141"></a></p>
-
-<p>“But what will you say?†she went on. “Any reproach should come from me;
-and what reproach could you make? I cannot think he is more than
-piteous; people fall in love with Claire&mdash;often.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier was feeling that if, by chance, Monsieur Daunay were more than
-piteous, he must stand between Madame Vicaud and the discovery.</p>
-
-<p>“I will be all discretion&mdash;all delicacy. I will only say that I was the
-unsuspecting, the involuntary witness of the incident; and that, as your
-friend, almost, I might say,â€&mdash;he hesitated, seeking a forcible word in
-place of the one he dared not use,&mdash;“your son, I must ask him how much
-Claire knows of it&mdash;how far it should interfere with your confidence in
-him.â€</p>
-
-<p>She was silent for a long moment, her head still turned from him to a
-silhouetted profile against the sky; it was now so much darker that he
-could see little more than its vague black and white, yet he thought
-that, in her stillness, she flushed<a name="page_142" id="page_142"></a> deeply. In her voice, when she
-spoke, there was the steadiness that nerves itself over a tremor, yet
-there was, too, a greater relief. “Well,†she said. The word assented to
-all he asked. She did not look at him again, and presently, as the music
-had ceased, rose and went into the room. Claire was pointing out to
-Monsieur Daunay a picture in a magazine, apparently all placidity; but
-in a moment near the parting, while Madame Vicaud, with an equal calm,
-stood speaking to Monsieur Daunay near the piano, Claire said to Damier,
-quietly but intently:</p>
-
-<p>“You have not betrayed me to Mamma?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Betrayed you?†Damier questioned, ice in his voice.</p>
-
-<p>“Him, rather,†she amended. “Not that there is anything to betray, only
-Mamma would find it so shocking that a married man should be in love
-with me; he is so <i>bête</i>&mdash;Monsieur Daunay&mdash;to have forgotten that you
-were out there.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I must tell you that your mother<a name="page_143" id="page_143"></a> guessed that I had seen something. I
-told her what I had seen, that he loved you, though not that you seemed
-to accept his love.â€</p>
-
-<p>For a moment she gazed into his eyes, at first with a gravity that
-studied him, and then with a light effrontery. “Accept it! <i>par
-exemple!</i>†she exclaimed, and she put her hand on his arm with a
-half-caressing reassurance. “Set your mind at rest! I am only sorry for
-him. Meet me to-morrow morning at ten at the Porte Dauphine; we can have
-a little walk in the Bois. I want to tell you all about it.â€</p>
-
-<p>Monsieur Daunay was going, and Damier, as he turned from Claire, met
-Madame Vicaud’s eyes. Their wide, dark gaze was, for the instant in
-which she let him see it, piteous and almost wild. He interpreted their
-fear, though he could not quite define their question. All the mother
-was in them. Did he despise her child, as others did? He mustered his
-bravest, most gravely confident smile, in answer to them, as he pressed
-her hand in parting.<a name="page_144" id="page_144"></a> For another instant they met his, saw his smile,
-and answered it with a look tragically grateful in one so proud. He had
-never stood so near her as at that moment.</p>
-
-<p>Damier went out with the Frenchman, and once in the cool, dim street, he
-dashed at the subject: “Monsieur Daunay, I must at once tell you that
-inadvertently this evening, through your own indiscretion, I discovered
-your secret. You are a married man; you are Madame Vicaud’s trusted
-friend; and you love her daughter.â€</p>
-
-<p>Monsieur Daunay stopped short in the street, exasperation rather than
-embarrassment in his face. He fixed Damier with very steady and very
-hostile eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“And what then?†he asked.</p>
-
-<p>“You have a perfect right,†said Damier, “to ask what business it is of
-mine, and I can only answer that I, too, am a trusted friend of Madame
-Vicaud’s, and, Monsieur Daunay, a friend whom she can trust.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, Monsieur Damier, you have&mdash;I do not deny it&mdash;more rights than I,
-who have<a name="page_145" id="page_145"></a> none,†said Daunay, in a voice the bitterness of which was a
-revelation to Damier. “I have no rights, only misfortunes. Why not add
-that you are Madame Vicaud’s trusted friend, and that you, too, love her
-daughter?â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier felt a relief disproportionate, he realized, to any suspicions he
-had allowed himself to recognize. The atmosphere, after the unexpected
-thunderclap, was immensely cleared. Monsieur Daunay was jealous, and
-Monsieur Daunay was evidently piteous only. With all the vigor of a
-sudden release from bondage, he exclaimed: “You are utterly mistaken; I
-have no such rights: I do not love Mademoiselle Vicaud.â€</p>
-
-<p>“What do you say?†Monsieur Daunay’s astonishment was almost blank.</p>
-
-<p>“I do not love her in the very least.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Then,†stammered the Frenchman, “we are not rivals? You can then pity
-me&mdash;I am jealous with none of the rights of jealousy.â€</p>
-
-<p>“None of the rights?†Damier eyed him.<a name="page_146" id="page_146"></a></p>
-
-<p>“None, monsieur; Madame Vicaud’s trust in me is not unfounded,†said
-Monsieur Daunay, with something of a slightly ludicrous grandiloquence.</p>
-
-<p>“Yet Mademoiselle Vicaud knows of your attachment.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I never declared it; she guessed it, perhaps inevitably.†They were
-walking on again, and he shrugged his shoulders. “<i>Que voulez-vous?</i> She
-has a certain tenderness for me that gives perception, and I adore
-her&mdash;but adore her, you understand.†Damier was understanding and not at
-all disliking this victim of the glamour&mdash;or, was it not deeper than
-that? Something in the Frenchman’s voice touched him. Would Claire ever
-arouse a deeper affection than this? Not only had she cast her glamour
-upon him: he evidently loved her&mdash;“but adore her, you understand,†as he
-had said in his expressive French.</p>
-
-<p>His hands clasped behind him, Monsieur Daunay, with now a reminiscent
-confidence, shook his head and sighed profoundly.<a name="page_147" id="page_147"></a> “<i>Que voulez-vous?</i>â€
-he repeated. “Since her girlhood it has been with me a hidden passion.
-<i>Ce que j’ai souffert!</i>†He showed no antagonism now, no resentment;
-Damier could but be grateful.</p>
-
-<p>“Claire has not suffered through me,†he went on. “She allows me to love
-her, but she knows that she is free. What can I claim?&mdash;an honorable
-man, and shackled. Yet&mdash;I have always hoped that she might, generously
-and nobly, keep an unclaimed faith with me. I have claimed none, and yet
-she has assured me that, as yet, she loves no other. I have needed the
-assurance of late&mdash;I confess it. Your apparent courtship I could not
-reproach her with,&mdash;though it tore my heart,&mdash;but her permission of this
-ill-omened Lord Epsil’s attentions filled me with consternation; I have
-felt myself justified in reproaching her for her <i>légèreté</i> in regard to
-this.â€</p>
-
-<p>“But,†said Damier, after a slight pause, “this unclaimed faith&mdash;how do
-you expect her to keep it?<a name="page_148" id="page_148"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>There was a touch of embarrassment in Monsieur Daunay’s voice as he
-answered: “My wife and I have, for years, been on most unfortunate
-terms; I have no reproaches to address myself on her account. She is a
-confirmed invalid, and of late her condition has been critical. One must
-not hope for certain contingencies&mdash;one must not, indeed, admit the
-thought of them too often; but&mdash;if they did arise&mdash;“</p>
-
-<p>“I see,†said Damier, gravely; “you could claim her. It is, indeed, a
-most unpleasant contingency. Would it not be for Claire’s happiness if
-you were not to see her again until it arose?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, no,†said Daunay, with something of weariness; “ah, no; her
-happiness is not involved. Claire&mdash;I speak frankly; my affection for her
-has never blinded me&mdash;Claire is not easily made unhappy by her
-sympathies. It is only myself I hurt by remaining near her, by seeing
-her, as I constantly imagine, on the point of abandoning me. But to
-leave her&mdash;you ask of me more than I am capable of doing.<a name="page_149" id="page_149"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>Later, when Damier told him of Madame Vicaud’s knowledge of the
-situation, Monsieur Daunay heaved another, not regretful, sigh.</p>
-
-<p>“It is as well. I will say to her what I have said to you. She will be
-generous; she will understand.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier felt oddly, when he parted with him, that he might trust Monsieur
-Daunay, but that he trusted Claire less than ever.<a name="page_150" id="page_150"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XIII" id="XIII"></a>XIII</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_N.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_N_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="75"
-alt="N"
-/></span></a>EXT day, as Damier waited near the Porte Dauphine for
-Claire, he could reflect on his really parental situation, but feeling
-more the irritation than the humor of it. After all, where was his
-authority for this meddling? Why should they submit to it? and why, as a
-result, should he submit to the hearing of Claire’s coming
-self-justification? He could spare Madame Vicaud nothing by it, since
-she knew all that there was to know&mdash;and since it was better that she
-should know it. He had written to her the night before, on reaching his
-hotel, and told her of the talk with Monsieur Daunay and of the
-impression it had made upon him. He wondered if she had, meanwhile, had
-an equally appeasing talk with Claire.<a name="page_151" id="page_151"></a></p>
-
-<p>This young woman appeared quite punctually, walking at a leisurely pace
-along the sanded path, where the full summer foliage cast flickering
-purple shadows. Claire was all in white, white that fluttered about her
-as she walked; her hat, tilted over her eyes, had white wings&mdash;like a
-Valkyrie’s summer helmet; her white parasol made a shadowed halo behind
-her head. As she approached him she looked at him steadily, with
-something whimsical, quizzical in her gaze, and her first words showed
-no wish to beat about the bush.</p>
-
-<p>“You talked to him last night? I talked a little to Mamma, or rather she
-talked to me. I soon satisfied her that I didn’t feel for him, <i>pas
-grand comme ça d’amour</i>.†Claire indicated the smallness she negatived
-by a quarter of an inch of finger-tip. “And I think I can soon satisfy
-you, too,†she added. “He told you everything?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Everything.â€</p>
-
-<p>“And you are terribly shocked that an unmarried young woman should take
-money from a married man who is in love<a name="page_152" id="page_152"></a> with her? Must I assure you
-that our relations are absolutely innocent?â€</p>
-
-<p>In his stupefaction, Damier could hardly have said whether her first
-statement or the coolness of her second remark&mdash;its forestalling of a
-suspicion she took for granted in him&mdash;were the more striking. Both
-statement and remark revealed her character in a light more lurid than
-even he had been prepared for. He was really unable to do more than
-stare at her. Claire evidently misinterpreted the stare yet more
-outrageously. She had the grace to flush faintly, though her eyes were
-still half ironic, half defiant.</p>
-
-<p>“I do so assure you.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I did not need the assurance.†Damier found his voice, but it was
-hoarse.</p>
-
-<p>Claire, in a little pause, looked her consciousness of having struck a
-very false note.</p>
-
-<p>“And now no assurance would convince you that I am not very low-minded
-and vulgar. Well, I am, I suppose. <i>Que voulez-vous?</i> Only don’t be too
-much shocked<a name="page_153" id="page_153"></a> by my frankness; don’t be prudish. A man may be propriety
-itself, but he may not be prudish. Remember that I am twenty-seven, that
-I know my world (though how I have been able to get my knowledge with
-such a dexterously shuffling and shielding Mamma, I don’t know), and
-that I think it merely silly to pretend that I don’t know it before a
-man with whom I am as intimate as I am with you. Of course, on the face
-of it, to accept money from a married man who is in love with one does
-suggest a situation usually described as immoral.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier was feeling choked, feeling, too, that he almost hated Claire, as
-she walked beside him, slowly and lightly, opulently lovely, the flush
-of anger&mdash;it was more anger than shame&mdash;still on her cheek.</p>
-
-<p>“I must tell you,†he said, in a voice steeled to a terrible courtesy,
-“that it is you alone who inform me of your indebtedness to Monsieur
-Daunay’s kindness. He, I now see, did not tell me everything.â€</p>
-
-<p>“What did he tell you, then?†she asked, stopping short in the path and
-fixing<a name="page_154" id="page_154"></a> her eyes upon him, in her voice a rough, almost a plebeian,
-note.</p>
-
-<p>“That he adored you, and that he could be trusted.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Well, he can be!†She broke into a hard laugh. “<i>Le cher bon Daunay!</i> I
-thought that of course he would paint a piteous picture of his woes. And
-now you are furious with me because I supposed that, as a man of the
-world, you might unfairly, yet naturally, imagine more than he told
-you.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier made no reply.</p>
-
-<p>“You are furious, are you not?â€</p>
-
-<p>“I am disgusted, but not for that reason only.â€</p>
-
-<p>“You think I am in love with him!†She stopped again in the narrow path.
-“I swear to you that I am not!†He would have interrupted her, but her
-volubility swept past his attempt. “If he had been free I would have
-married him&mdash;I own it; at one time, at least, I would have married him.
-I am French in my freedom from sentimental complications on that
-subject. I could have found no<a name="page_155" id="page_155"></a> other man in this country willing to
-marry a dotless girl. I should have preferred, of course, a <i>mariage
-d’amour</i>; but, given my circumstances, could I have found anything more
-desirable than a kind, generous, and adoring friend like Monsieur
-Daunay?â€</p>
-
-<p>“I should say certainly not,â€&mdash;Damier waited with a cold patience until
-she had finished,&mdash;“but again you have misinterpreted me; I am disgusted
-not because you love Monsieur Daunay, but because you do not love him.â€</p>
-
-<p>At this, after a stare, Claire gave a loud laugh.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah!&mdash;<i>c’est trop fort!</i> You can’t make me believe that you want me to
-love him.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t want you to love him; but I say that the circumstances would be
-more to your credit if you did.â€</p>
-
-<p>Her face now showed a mingled relief and perplexity.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, it is the money, then&mdash;that I should accept it!â€</p>
-
-<p>“Can I make no appeal to you for your<a name="page_156" id="page_156"></a> mother’s sake&mdash;for the sake of
-your own dignity?â€</p>
-
-<p>“I can take care of my own dignity, Mr. Damier.†The relief was showing
-in her quieter voice, her fading flush. “I see how angry you are&mdash;and
-only because I have not pretended with you. Let me explain. I never
-pretend with you: I can only explain. I must begin at the beginning to
-do it; and the beginning and the end is our poverty. Mamma had a
-pittance left to her, a year or so after my father’s death, by some
-relations, and that, since then, has been our only <i>pied-à-terre</i>. She
-would never accept the allowance, quite a generous one, too, that her
-family wished to make her. I don’t want to blame her; I know how you
-feel about her; I appreciate it. But it was, I must say it, very selfish
-of her; she should have thought more of me&mdash;the luckless result of her
-mésalliance&mdash;and less of her own pride. I really hardly know how she
-brought me up: though, I own, she gave me a good education; I was always
-at<a name="page_157" id="page_157"></a> school during my father’s life&mdash;she avoided <i>that</i> soil for me, you
-may be sure! I give her credit for all that; she must have worked hard
-to do it. But she owed me all she could get for me, and, I must say, she
-did not pay the debt.†Claire had been looking before her as she talked,
-but now she looked at Damier, and something implacable, coldly enduring,
-in his eye warned her that her present line of exculpation was not
-serving her. “Don’t imagine, now, that I am complaining&mdash;ungrateful,â€
-she said a little petulantly. “I know&mdash;as well as you do&mdash;what a good
-mother she has been to me. I only want to show you that she is not
-altogether blameless&mdash;that she is responsible, in more ways than one,
-for me&mdash;for what I am. Let it pass, though. When I came home, a young
-girl, full of life and eager for enjoyment, what did I find? Poverty,
-labor, obscurity. It was an ugly, a meager existence she had prepared
-for me, and, absolutely, with a certain pride in it! She expected me to
-enjoy work, shabby clothes,<a name="page_158" id="page_158"></a> grave pursuits, as much as she did, or, at
-all events, not to mind them. Plain living, high thinking&mdash;that was her
-idea of happiness for me!†Insensibly the ironic note had grown again in
-her voice. “I remember, too, at first, her taking me to see poor people
-in horrid places&mdash;expecting me to talk to them, sing to them; I soon put
-a stop to that. At her age, with a ruined life, it is natural that one
-should wish to devote one’s self to <i>bonnes-œuvres;</i> but for me, <i>ah,
-par exemple!</i>†Claire gave a coarse laugh. “I had not quite come to
-that! She gave me the best she had&mdash;all she had, you will say; I own it:
-but not all she might have had. And then she need not have expected me
-to enjoy&mdash;should not have been aggrieved, wounded, because I only
-endured. Again,&mdash;I am not unjust,&mdash;it was not all high thinking; she had
-her schemes for my amusement&mdash;<i>d’une simplicité!</i> Really, for such a
-clever woman, Mamma can be dull! And the people we knew! We had a
-right&mdash;you know it&mdash;to <i>le<a name="page_159" id="page_159"></a> vrai grand monde</i>. You know it, and you are
-trying, now, to help me to it. But Mamma did not try. With a little
-management she might have regained her place in it; but no&mdash;her pride
-again! She seemed to think that <i>she</i> was <i>le grand monde</i>, and that I
-ought to be satisfied with that! And now, with all this, you think it
-strange&mdash;<i>disgusting</i>&mdash;that when I saw that Daunay&mdash;<i>le pauvre!</i>&mdash;was in
-love with me I should ask him to continue to the daughter the aid that
-he had extended to the father! There again, for a clever woman, Mamma is
-dull&mdash;though her dullness has been to my advantage. She can make money,
-she can avoid spending it, but she has little conception of its value;
-she does the housekeeping, and, after that, she leaves the management of
-our resources to me. She is funnily gullible about the price of my
-clothes; the lessons I give would hardly keep me in shoes and
-stockings&mdash;as I understand shoes and stockings!†Claire laughed. “This
-dress that I have on&mdash;Mamma imagines<a name="page_160" id="page_160"></a> it is made by a little dressmaker
-whom I am clever enough to guide with my taste. I take out the name on
-the waist-band and she is none the wiser. This dress is a Doucet.†There
-was now quite a blithe complacency in Claire’s voice. “And I have always
-considered myself amply excusable,†she went on, “in accepting the small
-pleasures that life offered me. Of course it has really not been much
-that I have been able to accept&mdash;though he would willingly&mdash;and he is
-not rich&mdash;give more. Jewels, for instance, I have never dared
-attempt&mdash;nor even many dresses; that would have been incautious. For
-Mamma, of course, must never know; she would be inexpressibly shocked. I
-can see her face!â€</p>
-
-<p>So could Damier. He was conscious of almost a wish to be brutal to
-Claire, physically brutal&mdash;to strike her to the dust where she dragged
-the image of his well beloved; but, after a moment, he said in a voice
-quiet enough: “You must tell her now; you must tell her everything.<a name="page_161" id="page_161"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>Claire stopped short in the path. “Tell her!â€</p>
-
-<p>“You must, indeed.†The full rigor of his eyes met the astonishment of
-hers.</p>
-
-<p>“Never!†said Claire, and in French, as if for a more personal and
-intimate emphasis, she repeated: “<i>Jamais!</i>â€</p>
-
-<p>“I will, then; it is an outrage not to tell her.â€</p>
-
-<p>Their eyes measured each other’s resolution.</p>
-
-<p>“If you do,†said Claire, “shall I tell you with what I retaliate? I
-will run away with Monsieur Daunay. Yes; I speak seriously. I would
-prefer not to be pushed to that extremity, but I sometimes think that I
-am getting a little tired of respectability <i>au quatrième</i>. It isn’t
-good enough, as you English say; I get no interest on my investment. To
-tell her! Now, of all times, when I so need the money, when the small
-gaieties and pleasures you have brought into my life depend on my having
-it, making an appearance! She would not let me take<a name="page_162" id="page_162"></a> it. She would be
-glacial&mdash;and firm. Oh, I have had scenes with her! I could not stand any
-more.â€</p>
-
-<p>For once Claire was fully vehement, her cheeks flaming, her eyes at once
-threatening and appealing. He could hardly believe her serious, and yet
-she silenced him&mdash;indeed, she terrified him. Claire read the terror in
-his wide eyes and whitening lips. Her look suddenly grew soft, humorous.
-She slipped her hand inside his arm.</p>
-
-<p>Involuntarily he started from her, then, repenting, for even while he so
-loathed her he had never found her so piteous, “I beg your pardon&mdash;but
-you horrify me too much.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Come, come,†she said, and, unresentfully, though with some
-determination, she secured his arm, “don’t take me <i>au pied de la
-lettre</i>. I am not really in earnest; you know that; I had to use a
-threat&mdash;had to frighten you. Come.†That she had been able so thoroughly
-to frighten him seemed to have restored in her her old<a name="page_163" id="page_163"></a> air of
-complacent mastery. “You are wide-minded, clever, kind. Don’t misjudge
-me. Don’t push me to the wall. Don’t apply impossible standards to me.
-See me as I am. By nature, by temperament, I am simply a bohemian. It
-isn’t my fault if my mother happens to be a saint, and a horribly
-well-bred saint; it really isn’t my fault if she has handed on to me
-neither of those qualities. I am perfectly frank with you. From the
-first I felt that I could be frank with you; I felt that you understood
-me; don’t tell me now that I was mistaken.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I do understand you,†said Damier, “but you horrify me none the less.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I horrify you because I am a creature thwarted, distorted; nothing is
-more ugly or repulsive&mdash;but if I had had a chance!â€</p>
-
-<p>“What would a chance have done for you? You have had every chance to be
-noble and loving and happy&mdash;yes, happy.â€</p>
-
-<p>“But not in my own way!&mdash;not in my<a name="page_164" id="page_164"></a> own way!†she cried, and now she
-clasped both hands on his arm and leaned against his shoulder as she
-looked into his face. “I needed power and wealth&mdash;all the real
-foundations of happiness and nobility. Then&mdash;ah, then I should have
-blossomed. Or else, failing them, I needed liberty and joy&mdash;the life of
-a bohemian. I have had neither the one nor the other, and if I seem
-almost wicked to you it is because of that; for, to me, wickedness means
-going against one’s nature. I have always been forced to go against
-mine; I have never had a chance.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier gave a mirthless laugh. “On the contrary, to me wickedness means
-going with one’s nature.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, there we differ; and yet we understand.â€</p>
-
-<p>Again he had that feeling of perplexity and irritation. Her eyes, the
-clasp of her hands upon his arm, irked and troubled him, and without,
-now, any sense of glamour in the trouble and irritation. She seemed to
-make too great a claim<a name="page_165" id="page_165"></a> upon his understanding, and to rely too much
-upon some conviction of her own charm that could dare any frankness just
-because it was so sure of triumph. He felt that at the moment he did not
-understand her; he felt, too, that he did not want to&mdash;that he was tired
-of understanding her.</p>
-
-<p>“You are an unhappy creature, Claire,†he said. They were nearing the
-Porte Dauphine, and while he spoke with a full yet distant gravity,
-Damier looked about for a fiacre. “An unhappy creature with an
-unawakened soul.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Will you try to wake it, the poor thing?†asked Claire. She still held
-his arm, though he had tried to disengage it, and though she spoke
-softly, there was a vague hardness in her eyes, as though she felt the
-new hardness in him, though as yet not quite interpreting its finality.</p>
-
-<p>“I shouldn’t know how to: I am helpless before it. It should be made to
-suffer,†he said. A cab had answered his summons, and he handed her into
-it. “No,<a name="page_166" id="page_166"></a> I cannot go home with you,†he said. “Are you going home?â€</p>
-
-<p>“I am going to lunch with old Mademoiselle Daunay, and see Monsieur
-Daunay there. I had no chance to speak to him last night.†Claire,
-sitting straightly in the open cab, had an expression of perplexity and
-of growing resentment on her face; but as he merely bowed and was about
-to turn away, she started forward and put her hand on his shoulder.</p>
-
-<p>“Are you going to make it suffer?†she asked. He looked into her eyes.
-He did not understand her, but he saw in them a demand at once alluring
-and threatening. His one instinct was to deny strongly whatever she
-demanded, though he did not know what that was.</p>
-
-<p>“I have no mission toward your soul, Claire,†he said. For another
-moment the eyes that threatened and allured dwelt on his; then, calling
-out the address to the cabman, she was driven away.<a name="page_167" id="page_167"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XIV" id="XIV"></a>XIV</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_O.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_O_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="76"
-alt="O"
-/></span></a>N Damier’s return to his hotel early in the afternoon,
-he found a note from Madame Vicaud awaiting him. “Monsieur Daunay has
-just been here,†it said, “and destiny has strangely brought this matter
-to a crisis. His wife is dead, and he has asked me for Claire’s hand,
-feeling that his false position toward me demanded an immediate
-reparation. He hopes and believes that she loves him; but this, as both
-you and I must know, is impossible. I am saddened and confused by the
-whole situation. I do not blame them, but to me it is all displeasing,
-even shocking&mdash;this haste to profit by the wife’s opportune death most
-of all. Will you come and see me? Claire is lunching at his cousin’s,
-and he<a name="page_168" id="page_168"></a> will find her there. I told him to speak to her himself, as I
-felt that to act the maternal part of intermediary between them would
-now be mere formalism and affectation; so I am alone. You will want to
-speak to me, I know.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier, as he drove to the Rue B&mdash;&mdash;, speculated on the rather
-mystifying significance of the last sentence. He always wanted to speak
-to her: that she must know; but why now in particular? Since his
-interview with Claire that morning he had felt almost too shaken by pity
-for the mother to trust himself with her. He would not be able to help
-her with counsel and consolation; he would not be able to think of
-Claire; and at this turning-point in Claire’s life it was for that that
-the mother needed him.</p>
-
-<p>He found her standing in the salon, evidently pausing to meet him, in a
-restless pacing to and fro. Her eyes dwelt on him gently and very
-gravely while she took his hand.</p>
-
-<p>“Who could have expected this swift<a name="page_169" id="page_169"></a> dénouement? But it is best,†she
-said, “and I pitied him very deeply.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Pitied him&mdash;for the past, you mean?†Damier questioned.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, for the future more!â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier wondered over her eyes, over the something tremulous in her
-smile.</p>
-
-<p>“I saw Claire this morning,†he said. “We talked over the matter; she
-wished to see me.â€</p>
-
-<p>Madame Vicaud showed no surprise at this piece of information. “Ah, yes;
-I understand,†she said.</p>
-
-<p>“She certainly told me that she did not love him,†Damier went on, “and
-yet&mdash;“ He paused, not quite knowing how to put to her his hope that
-Claire now would reconsider the situation, his hope that she would marry
-Monsieur Daunay.</p>
-
-<p>It would be the solution of all difficulties, the best solution
-possible, and the situation could then be defined anew in terms that he
-more and more deeply longed for. He hardly dared, even yet, before her
-unconsciousness, define it, and<a name="page_170" id="page_170"></a> turning away from her, he walked down
-the room, urging himself to a courage great enough to enable him now to
-speak to her what was in his heart. Madame Vicaud was watching him
-thoughtfully when he faced her again at the end of the room, and with
-still that look of controlled emotion.</p>
-
-<p>“I, also, have something to tell you,†he said.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,†she assented quietly, yet with the look evidently braced,
-steeled, in preparation for what she was to hear.</p>
-
-<p>“Can you guess?†he asked.</p>
-
-<p>She was standing now, strangely, in the attitude of the little
-photograph&mdash;leaning on the back of a high chair; and her eyes recalled
-yet more strangely the intentness of the picture’s eyes as she said:
-“You have come to tell me that you love my daughter?â€</p>
-
-<p>He was so deeply astonished, so completely thrown back upon himself,
-that for a long moment he could only gaze helplessly into the eyes’
-insolubility.<a name="page_171" id="page_171"></a></p>
-
-<p>“No,†he said at last; “I did not come to tell you that.â€</p>
-
-<p>“But you do love her?†Madame Vicaud inquired, with something of gentle
-urgency in her voice, as though she helped his shyness. “Be frank with
-me, my friend; I have guessed so much more, seen so much more, than you
-told me or showed me. Even with all that saddens you, that pains you,
-you do love her&mdash;enough to overlook the pain and sadness?â€</p>
-
-<p>“No,†said Damier, still facing her from his distance, “I do not love
-her. I have never needed to overlook anything.â€</p>
-
-<p>Plainly it was her turn to be astonished, thrown back upon herself.</p>
-
-<p>“But, from the beginning, has that not been your meaning?â€</p>
-
-<p>“You, only, have been my meaning.â€</p>
-
-<p>He saw that her thought, in its disarray, could not pause upon his
-interpretation of these words. She had straightened herself, both hands
-on the chair-back, and her wide gaze, her parted lips, and the<a name="page_172" id="page_172"></a> vivid
-wonder and surmise in her face made her look curiously young.</p>
-
-<p>“You have, from the first, been so much with her&mdash;seemed to take so much
-interest in her&mdash;seemed so to understand her; she was so open&mdash;so
-intimate&mdash;“</p>
-
-<p>“She is your daughter.â€</p>
-
-<p>“But that, I thought, added to the certainty: you must, I thought, love
-my daughter&mdash;“</p>
-
-<p>He was forced to beat a retreat for a moment of disentanglement; and,
-suddenly, disentanglement seemed to demand a cutting sincerity.</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t, in the very least, love Claire; I have never, in the very
-least, loved her; I have only been sorry for her.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Sorry for her? Because of her dull, bleak life? Ah, have I not been
-sorry, too?â€</p>
-
-<p>“But I not for that,†said Damier, “not for that; but because she made
-me so sorry for you; becauseâ€&mdash;and he looked at her&mdash;“because you do not
-love her.â€</p>
-
-<p>He was still at a distance from her, and<a name="page_173" id="page_173"></a> across it her look met his in
-a long silence.</p>
-
-<p>Then a strange, a tragic thing happened to her. He had before seen her
-flush faintly; but it was now a deep, an agonizing blush that slowly
-rose and darkened in her face. The revelation of look and blush was long
-before she leaned her elbows on the chair-back and covered her face with
-her hands.</p>
-
-<p>“Forgive me!†Damier murmured. He felt as if he had stabbed her. He came
-to her, and, half kneeling on the chair before her, he longed, but did
-not dare, to put his arms around her and sweep away this complication,
-and all the others&mdash;ah, the others?&mdash;the years and years of them that
-rolled between them!&mdash;in a full and final confession. “Forgive me for
-seeing&mdash;it is not your fault; it is my clear-sightedness&mdash;“</p>
-
-<p>She made no reply.</p>
-
-<p>“You try to understand her, but she is alien to you. She tears at every
-fiber of you. There is nothing in her that does<a name="page_174" id="page_174"></a> not hurt you,†Damier
-said, hastening to speak all the truth, since the moment inevitably had
-come for it.</p>
-
-<p>Madame Vicaud lifted her head.</p>
-
-<p>“I do understand her,†she said. She did not look at him. Straightening
-her shoulders, drawing a long breath, she walked away from him to the
-window; there, her back to him, she added, the truth seemingly forced
-from her as it had been from him, “And I hate her.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier remained leaning against the chair. The situation, in its
-strangeness, dazed him. But looking at her figure, dark against the
-light, he was able to say: “I even guessed that&mdash;almost.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Yet you do not hate her,†she said, after a pause of some moments,
-speaking without moving or turning her head.</p>
-
-<p>Damier paused too. “I have not your reasons,†he said at last.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, my reasons! Yes.†She turned to him now, as though she saw in him
-an accusing world, and faced it in an attitude of desperate
-self-justification.<a name="page_175" id="page_175"></a></p>
-
-<p>“They began with her father,†said Damier.</p>
-
-<p>“I hated him,†she said. Her eyes looked through him, fixed on the abyss
-of the past. “I hated him. He was abhorrent to me. I lived with him for
-fifteen years&mdash;fifteen long, long years. I bore his brutality, his
-wickedness&mdash;I am not the woman to use the word prudishly&mdash;I can make
-allowances&mdash;wide ones&mdash;for temperament, environment, all the mitigating
-causes: but my husband’s wickedness was unimaginably vile; to see it
-stained one’s thoughts.†The memory of it, as she spoke, had chilled her
-to a drawn and frozen pallor; it was as though the blighting breath of
-the past went across her face, aging it, emptying it of life.</p>
-
-<p>“I bore the ruin he brought; that was nothing&mdash;a spur to love, had love
-been possible. I bore his serene, inflexible selfishness. The only thing
-I would not bearâ€&mdash;and she still looked full at Damier, but with the
-same unseeing largeness<a name="page_176" id="page_176"></a> of gaze&mdash;“was his love. <i>His</i> love!†She turned
-and walked across the room. Damier felt his own flesh shudder as he
-looked behind the curtain her words lifted, felt his own heart freeze in
-the aching sympathy of its comprehension. He could not speak to her. It
-seemed to him that she stood at a great distance from him and would not
-hear him. Her voice, when she spoke again, had less of its haunting
-terror, but it still thrilled with a deep and tragic note: “All this, as
-thousands of women have done, because it was my duty&mdash;to help him&mdash;to
-uphold him&mdash;to stand by him unflinchingly, and&mdash;because he was <i>her</i>
-father. You said that my reasons for hating her began with him. Ah, but
-he was my reason for loving her so desperately&mdash;with such a longing to
-atone to her for him. I gave her all the love he had crushed out of me.
-You see his picture there; I have schooled myself, so that she may not
-feel the smirch of him through my horror, to bear the sight of him, to
-say to myself every day,<a name="page_177" id="page_177"></a> ‘That is the face I loved.’ Oh, what
-madness!&mdash;what madness!†She pressed her hands hard upon her eyes. “Some
-day, perhaps,&mdash;since I tell you everything,&mdash;I will tell you that story,
-too&mdash;my love-story. The memory of it is like a block of lead upon my
-heart.†Her hands fell, but the memory made her silent, and for a long
-moment she stood looking down. “But all was hidden from her: the
-dread,&mdash;that soon passed&mdash;I was the stronger, he came to feel it, dread
-fell from me,&mdash;the hate that followed it, and the final, the terrible
-pity,&mdash;for I came to pity him when he hung about my life, helpless, like
-a torn and dirty rag,&mdash;all that was hidden from her. I kept her lifted
-out of the mud he dragged us down to; she never saw its depths. While he
-lived, and while he was dying,&mdash;and horrible to see and hear,&mdash;she was
-at a school. Those days!†She paused and turned away, and then went on:
-“It was in the winter. Lessons fell away; there was the school, the
-doctor, all the expenses<a name="page_178" id="page_178"></a> of an illness to be met. I went into the
-streets of nights, a man carrying my harp, and sang for money; I had a
-voice till then, and I braved more than the snow and the night to do it:
-I was still beautiful. This that you may see how I loved her, how I
-struggled for her, how like any mother, though now I seem so hard&mdash;so
-hideously unnatural. Ah, I fought&mdash;I cannot tell you, you cannot guess,
-how I fought for her. And then, he died, and then there was for me peace
-and the blossoming of delicious hope. She and I together, saved from the
-wreck. It seemed to me that I had battled through waves, past rocks and
-whirlpools, holding her to my breast, and had reached the shore at
-last&mdash;she alive for me, and I for her. And then&mdash;ah, then! The
-shipwreck, the years of struggle, were crude tragedy to my gradual
-realizing of the subtle disaster that was to poison my life forever.
-Year by year I saw it coming&mdash;I saw him creeping into her. I saw the
-grave purpose settle round her lips&mdash;the<a name="page_179" id="page_179"></a> steady greed for self. I saw
-his smile in her eyes; his eyes were beautiful like hers: when I first
-looked at them, I thought them full of splendid dreams, noble strength.
-She was not cruel, or brutal, or vicious, as he had been. She submitted
-placidly; she submitted, and I hoped for happiness. I could not make her
-happy or unhappy. I meant nothing to her except the thing that fed and
-clothed her. She took what I could give, and waited for what I could not
-give. She lied only when the truth would not serve her purpose better;
-so, often, she was frank with me. Her grave laugh maddened me, and her
-indifferent adapting of herself to me&mdash;for expediency, not for love. If
-only she had become a gentle and beautiful animal, to guard from its own
-instincts! but she is an animal of such hideous intelligence; she knows
-when I try to guard her, and evades me. Like him, she is corrupt to the
-core of her; not&mdash;do not misunderstand me&mdash;that she would do wrong in a
-conventional sense<a name="page_180" id="page_180"></a>&mdash;and that it is conventional wrong-doing that I
-dread she has always pretended to read into my horror of evil, making a
-plaster saint of me so that she may more easily evade the deeply
-understanding woman of flesh and blood. Hers is the worse corruption,
-that calculates chances, chooses and manages. It is there in her, I
-know, though, in its worst forms, latent still&mdash;I think.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier, white already, felt himself blanch before the rapid glance, like
-a sword-stroke across his face, that she cast upon him. She guessed at
-all his knowledge.</p>
-
-<p>Again she turned away and walked up and down the room.</p>
-
-<p>“Hideous, hideous that I should speak so to you, and to you I hoped, yet
-dreaded&mdash;You will wonder how I could have hoped it; how, knowing this, I
-should not have warned you. But at first I did not think it possible,
-though I knew her charm; at first I did not understand you, and, not
-understanding, I guarded you.<a name="page_181" id="page_181"></a> And then I saw your generous, your
-pitiful heart, and I saw that it understood Claire, that perhaps you
-understood her better than I did. With you she was her best self; she
-trusted you, it seemed, so utterly. I hoped that yours was the clearer
-vision, that I was warped, no longer capable of true seeing. Yet, when
-the friendship that I rejoiced in grew, as I thought, into love, there
-was a terrible struggle in me. My strong attachment to you&mdash;you who had
-opened the prison gates that shut me into my misery, who brought me out
-of a loneliness so long, so bitter&mdash;ah! my friend, do not think that I
-have not seen and felt it all; but I could not speak to you as I might
-have spoken had it not been for that struggle in me between the justice
-owed to you&mdash;yet that you did not seem to need&mdash;and the duty to her&mdash;not
-to withhold, for your sake, a possibility that might redeem her. My mind
-was fixed in that struggle; of our friendship, yours and mine, I could
-not think clearly. If you had been ignorant,<a name="page_182" id="page_182"></a> if she had hidden herself
-from you, I should have sacrificed her unflinchingly to you; I should
-have interposed and shown her to you. But she showed herself to you. I
-knew, from my knowledge of you, that she would not attract you as she
-attracts most men, not nobly. I saw from her looks with you, her words,
-that she would make no efforts so to attract you. I must say all to you,
-since you must understand all. Claire does not love you, but you attract
-what is best in her. She relies, I have guessed it, upon the very pathos
-of her moral ugliness to enchant you, to arouse in you the chivalrous,
-redemptive qualities she sees in you. And I grew to hope that you saw
-something that I could not see. I even began to feel a blind, groping
-tenderness for her through your fancied tenderness; and as I allowed
-myself to hope that you loved her, I allowed myself to have faith in the
-redeeming power of your love.â€</p>
-
-<p>She stood before him now, looking at him with saddest eyes; and Damier,
-answering them, shook his head.<a name="page_183" id="page_183"></a></p>
-
-<p>“Alas, no. It would have been my story over again, the positions
-reversed, and you without my illusions, had you loved her, married her;
-and yet, it was because you had no illusions that I hoped.â€</p>
-
-<p>But Damier could not think of dead hopes.</p>
-
-<p>“What you have suffered!†he said.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,†Madame Vicaud answered, “I have suffered; but do not, in your
-kindness, your tenderness, exaggerate. I have suffered, but all has not
-been black. There have been flowers on the uphill road. I don’t believe
-in a woe that is blind to them, or to the sky overhead.â€</p>
-
-<p>But she still stood looking at dead hopes, not thinking of him.</p>
-
-<p>“Clara,†said Damier.</p>
-
-<p>She was a woman of deep understanding, yet even now,&mdash;and hardly was it
-to be wondered at, so lifted through its very intensity was his love for
-her above love’s ordinary manifestations,&mdash;even now her name so gravely
-spoken by him had no further meaning for her than the one<a name="page_184" id="page_184"></a> openly,
-proudly, joyously accepted, the meaning of the strange tie that had
-united them; but, while she accepted it, his look startled her. It
-showed nothing new, but seemed to interpret newly something she had not
-recognized before. Smiling faintly, she said:</p>
-
-<p>“You have a right.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Not the right I would have.†He felt no excitement, only the enraptured
-solemnity that a soul might feel in some quiet dawn of heaven on finding
-another soul parted from years ago on earth&mdash;long sought for, long
-loved.</p>
-
-<p>She said nothing, her dark eyes fixing him with a wonder that was
-already a recognition.</p>
-
-<p>“I love you,†said Damier. He had not moved toward her, nor had she
-moved away. A little distance separated them, and they stood silently
-looking at each other.</p>
-
-<p>“You mean&mdash;“ she said at last.</p>
-
-<p>“I mean in every way in which it is possible for a man to love the woman
-he worships.<a name="page_185" id="page_185"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>The whirl of her mind mirrored itself in the stricken stupefaction of
-her wan, beautiful features. She caught at one flashing thought. “And
-I&mdash;her mother! You might have been my son!â€</p>
-
-<p>“No; I might not,†Damier affirmed.</p>
-
-<p>“By age; I am old enough.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I know your age; you are forty-seven,†said Damier, able to smile at
-her, “and I am thirty. If you were seventy-seven, the only difference
-would be that I could have fewer years to spend with you; I should wish
-to spend them just the same. As it is, your age does not make us
-ludicrous before the world, if we were to consider that.â€</p>
-
-<p>At this she turned from him as if in impatience at this quibbling, and
-her own endurance of it, at such a moment.</p>
-
-<p>“My friend! That this should have happened to you!â€</p>
-
-<p>“Can it never happen to you?†he asked.</p>
-
-<p>“I would never allow it to happen to me.<a name="page_186" id="page_186"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“It would not be to look up at the sky&mdash;it would not even be to stoop to
-a flower?â€</p>
-
-<p>“I would not allow myself to look, or to stoop, knowing that after I had
-looked and gathered, the flower would wither, the sky be black.â€</p>
-
-<p>He saw, as she gazed steadily round at him, that the gaze was through
-tears. Clasping his hands with a supplication that was, indeed, more the
-worshiper’s than the lover’s, Eustace said:</p>
-
-<p>“But would you&mdash;would you stoop?â€</p>
-
-<p>“I cannot answer that; I cannot think the answer. Your friendship has
-led me away from the rocky wastes into the sweetest, the serenest
-meadows.†Though she spoke with complete self-mastery, the tears ran
-down as she said these words, and she turned her face away. “I should be
-culpable indeed if I allowed you to lead me aside into a fool’s
-paradise, with a precipice waiting for you in the middle of it. I shall
-be an old woman while you are still a young man.<a name="page_187" id="page_187"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“Beloved woman, can you not believe that, young or old, you are the same
-to me? I have not fallen in love with you&mdash;I have found you. When I saw
-your face in the old picture I knew that it was mine.â€</p>
-
-<p>“The face of a girl. I was nineteen then.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Do not juggle with the truth. Your face now is dearer to me than the
-girl’s face. Your heart, I believe, is nearer mine than you know. That
-struggle in you when you imagined that I loved Claire, was it not, in
-part, the struggle of a sacrifice? Did you not submit because you
-thought that the side of self-sacrifice must be the right side?â€</p>
-
-<p>Still her face was turned from him, and after a silence she said,
-“Perhaps.â€</p>
-
-<p>“And if this were our last moment&mdash;if there were no question of age or
-of going on&mdash;then&mdash;then would you tell me that you have felt something
-of my feeling&mdash;the finding&mdash;the recognition&mdash;the rapture&mdash;own to it with
-joy?<a name="page_188" id="page_188"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>She turned to him now and looked at him, at his eager, solemn face, the
-supplication and worship of his clasped hands, looked for a long time,
-without speaking. But her face, though she was so white and so grave,
-seemed, as she looked, to reflect, with a growing radiance, the youth in
-his.</p>
-
-<p>“I have felt it,†she said at last, “but I have hardly known that I felt
-it.â€</p>
-
-<p>“You know now?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, I know now.â€</p>
-
-<p>“You could own to it&mdash;with joy?â€</p>
-
-<p>“If this were our last moment.&mdash;Ah, my friend!†He had taken her into
-his arms.</p>
-
-<p>The long years drifted away like illusions before an awakening. Her
-girl-hood&mdash;but weighted with such dreams of sorrow and
-loneliness!&mdash;seemed with her again. She was helpless, though her heart
-reproached him and herself, yet could not wholly reproach&mdash;helpless in a
-happiness poignant and exquisite. They kissed each other gently, and,
-his arms around her, they looked earnestly at each<a name="page_189" id="page_189"></a> other. Speechlessly
-they looked the finding, the recognition, the rapture.</p>
-
-<p>The meeting in heaven had come; but there was still the earth to be
-counted with.<a name="page_190" id="page_190"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XV" id="XV"></a>XV</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_A.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_A_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="74"
-alt="A"
-/></span></a>S they heard the tinkle of the entrance-bell, Claire’s
-voice, her step outside, Madame Vicaud moved away from Damier. She was
-seated in a chair near the table, and the young man stood beside her,
-when Claire entered.</p>
-
-<p>Claire paused in the doorway and looked sullenly, yet hardly
-suspiciously, at them. She had never worn a mask for Damier, yet he saw
-in her flushed and somber face something new to him, saw that she lacked
-some quality&mdash;was it confidence, indifference, placidity?&mdash;that he had
-always found in her. He guessed in a moment that her interview with
-Monsieur Daunay had not been a propitious one.<a name="page_191" id="page_191"></a></p>
-
-<p>“I did not expect to see you so soon again, and under such suddenly
-changed circumstances,†she said to him. “What are you talking about?
-Me?†She took off her hat,&mdash;the day was sultry,&mdash;pushed up her thick
-hair, and dropped her length of ruffled, clinging white into a chair.
-“So; I have seen Monsieur Daunay. He lost no time, it seems. He asked my
-hand of you first, I hear, Mamma, in proper form&mdash;<i>très
-convenablement</i>.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,†Madame Vicaud assented with composure.</p>
-
-<p>“It seems that you discouraged him.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I could not encourage him from what you had told me, but from what he
-told me it seems that you did not discourage him,†the mother answered.</p>
-
-<p>“I have never been in a position to discourage any useful possibility,â€
-said Claire.</p>
-
-<p>Madame Vicaud, in silence, and with something of a lion-tamer’s calm
-intentness of eye, looked at her daughter; and Claire, after meeting the
-look with<a name="page_192" id="page_192"></a> one frankly hostile, turned her eyes on Damier.</p>
-
-<p>“And it seems that you, last night, did not discourage Monsieur Daunay’s
-hopes; he spoke of you with gratitude. What have you to say to it all
-now?â€</p>
-
-<p>“I have nothing to say to it; it has always been your affair&mdash;yours and
-his.â€</p>
-
-<p>“You made it yours, it seems to me!â€</p>
-
-<p>“Unwillingly.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Oh&mdash;unwillingly!†Claire laughed her ugliest laugh. “I don’t understand
-you, Mr. Damier&mdash;I began not to understand you this morningâ€; and, as he
-made no reply:</p>
-
-<p>“Your present silence doesn’t accord with your past interference.â€</p>
-
-<p>“My silence? What do you expect me to say?†Damier asked, with real
-wonder, forgetting the mother’s intimations.</p>
-
-<p>“Can you deny that&mdash;apart from your feelings of angered propriety&mdash;you
-were pitifully jealous last night and this morning? I had to assure you
-again and again<a name="page_193" id="page_193"></a> that I did not love him&mdash;the truth, as it happens.â€</p>
-
-<p>This speech now opened such vistas of interpretation to the past&mdash;of
-interrogation to the future&mdash;that Damier could only, speechlessly, look
-his wonder at her.</p>
-
-<p>“Were you not jealous?†she demanded.</p>
-
-<p>“Not in the faintest degree.â€</p>
-
-<p>Her flush deepened at this, an angry, not an embarrassed, flush.</p>
-
-<p>“And what, then, was your motive for prying, meddling, cross-questioning
-as you did? You had a motive?â€</p>
-
-<p>“I have always had an interest in your welfare, Claire, but your mother
-was my motive for meddling and cross-questioning, as you put it.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Oh&mdash;my mother!†Claire tossed her a look where she sat, her arms
-folded, near the table. “You were afraid for my honor since hers was
-involved in it? Was that it?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Perhaps that was it&mdash;and for the<a name="page_194" id="page_194"></a> same reason I beg you to spare your
-mother now.â€</p>
-
-<p>Claire leaned back in her chair and fixed upon him a heavy stare above
-her heavy flush. “Come,†she said, “I have never had pretenses with
-you&mdash;I have always been frank. Do you intend to marry me? There it is
-clearly; I have no false delicacy, and, bon Dieu! you have given me
-every right to ask the question.â€</p>
-
-<p>Madame Vicaud, soundless at the table, now leaned her elbows upon it and
-covered her face with her hands. “Come,†Claire repeated, casting
-another look upon her; “for Mamma’s sake, you owe me an answer. Spare
-her the shame&mdash;she feels it bitterly, you observe&mdash;of seeing my
-outrageous uncertainty prolonged. Haven’t you spent all your time with
-me? Haven’t you taken upon yourself a position of authority toward
-me&mdash;made my affairs your own? Aren’t you going to&mdash;how would Mamma put
-it?&mdash;redeem me&mdash;lift me? Or are you going to let my soul suffer a little
-longer?<a name="page_195" id="page_195"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“You could hardly speak so, Claire, if you spoke sincerely,†said
-Damier; “you may once have misinterpreted my friendship for you, but you
-no longer misinterpret it. I have never intended to marry you. It is
-you, remember, who force me into this ugly attitude. I could not face
-you in it, were I not sure that your feeling for me has always been as
-free from anything amorous as mine for you.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t speak of my feeling for you!†Claire cried in a voice suddenly
-loud, leaning forward with her elbows on the arms of her chair, “but of
-yours for me! It is not there now&mdash;I see it plainly, and I see plainly
-why! She&mdash;<i>she</i>&mdash;has been talking to you against me!&mdash;telling you about
-some childish follies in my life!&mdash;making you believe that I would not
-be a fit wife for you! Ah, yes!&mdash;I know her!†Claire pointed a shaking
-finger at her mother. “She would think it her duty to protect you
-against me&mdash;I know her!â€</p>
-
-<p>“Be still,†said Damier in his voice of steel.<a name="page_196" id="page_196"></a></p>
-
-<p>Claire, for a moment, sank back, panting, defiant, but silent before it.</p>
-
-<p>“You are conscious of your own falsehood, but you can scarcely be
-conscious of how base and vile you are. Your mother, when I came to-day,
-was hoping that I had come to ask her for your hand; she believed that I
-loved you, and hoped it.â€</p>
-
-<p>Claire, in her sullen recoil, still remained sunken and panting in her
-chair.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, then! And what have you got to say to us both, then, if you gave
-us both cause for such a supposition? What have you meant by it all?â€</p>
-
-<p>“What I meant from the beginning I can best define by telling you that
-to-day I asked your mother to marry me.â€</p>
-
-<p>Claire sat speechless and motionless. The words seemed to have arrested
-thought, and to have nailed her to her chair. Damier looked at Madame
-Vicaud. Her hands had dropped from her face, and she met his eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“The truth was allowed me?†he said.<a name="page_197" id="page_197"></a></p>
-
-<p>“It is always allowed,†she answered.</p>
-
-<p>Her face was so stricken, so ghastly, that Damier, almost forgetting in
-his great solicitude the hateful presence in the room, leaned over her,
-taking her hand.</p>
-
-<p>“Bear it. It is better to have it all over. And, in a sense, it is my
-own fault. I should have spoken to you sooner&mdash;defined what I meant from
-the first.â€</p>
-
-<p>“So,†Claire said suddenly. Her smoldering eyes, while they spoke, had
-gone from one to the other. “So; this is what it all meant! Indeed, I
-cannot blame myself for not having guessed it. You in love with my
-mother! Or, shall we not more truthfully say, she in love with you?&mdash;the
-explanation, as a rule, you know, of these odd amorous episodes. I begin
-to understand. I did not suspect a rival in my own mother. Clever
-Mamma!â€</p>
-
-<p>“Let this cease now,†said Madame Vicaud, in a lifeless voice. “All has
-been said that it is necessary to say.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Indeed, no!†cried Claire. She<a name="page_198" id="page_198"></a> sprang to her feet, braving Damier’s
-menacing look, and stood before them with folded arms, defiantly, “All
-has not been said! I am to marry the middle-aged, middle-class man of
-small fortune, and you are to marry the <i>prince charmant</i>! Ah, don’t
-think that I am in love with you, <i>prince charmant</i>, though I might have
-loved you had not my mother had such a keen eye for her own interests,
-and kept mine so dexterously in the background. I might have loved you
-had you been allowed to fall in love with me. Oh, I know what you would
-say!†Her voice rose to a shout as she interrupted his effort to speak.
-“How base, how vile, and how vulgar&mdash;<i>n’est-ce pas</i>? A girl clamoring
-over the loss of a husband! Shocking! Well, I own to my vulgarity. I did
-want to marry you. You have money, position&mdash;all the things I never hid
-from you that I liked; and you interested me, and I liked you, and I
-could be myself with you. My mother has always been too dainty to secure
-a husband for<a name="page_199" id="page_199"></a> me&mdash;arrange my future: I have had to do all the ugly work
-myself; and I liked you because&mdash;just because I had to do no ugly work
-with you. And I clamor now&mdash;not because I have lost you&mdash;no, it’s not
-that; but because she&mdash;<i>she</i> has made her goodness serve her so!&mdash;has
-made it pay where my frankness failed. She is good, if you will; but I
-tell you that I prefer my vulgarity&mdash;my baseness&mdash;my vileness to her
-clever virtue; or is it an unconquerable passion with you, Mamma?&mdash;is it
-to be a <i>mariage d’amour</i> rather than a <i>mariage de convenance</i>?â€</p>
-
-<p>While Claire spoke, her mother, as if mesmerized by her fury, sat
-looking at her with dilated eyes and a fixed face&mdash;a face too fixed to
-show anguish. Rather it was as if, with an intense, spellbound interest,
-she hung upon her daughter’s words, hardly feeling, hardly flinching
-before her insults, hardly conscious of each whip-like lash that struck
-her face to a more death-like whiteness. Now, drawing a breath that was
-almost a gasp, she leaned forward<a name="page_200" id="page_200"></a> over the table, stretching her arms
-upon it and clasping her hands. “Claire, Claire!†she said, with a
-hurried, staccato utterance, “I see it all with your eyes&mdash;I understand.
-You have had something really dear taken from you&mdash;not love, perhaps,
-but a true friendship; that is so, isn’t it? He seems to have turned
-against you,&mdash;isn’t it so?&mdash;and through me. There is in you an anger
-that seems righteous to you. How cruel to have our best turned against
-us! I see all that. Ah, no, no! Let me speak to her!†For, Claire
-keeping the hardened insolence of her stare upon her, Damier, full of a
-passionate, protecting resentment, put his arm around her shoulders,
-took her hand. She threw off the hand, the arm, almost cruelly. “Let me
-speak to my child! Don’t come between us now&mdash;now when we may come
-together, she and I. Yes, Claire, he loves me,&mdash;you see it,&mdash;too much,
-perhaps, to be just to you, though he has been so just&mdash;more just than I
-have been, perhaps; he has been so truly<a name="page_201" id="page_201"></a> your friend. But now I am
-just. I am your mother. I can understand. I love him, Claire, yes, I
-love him; but I understand you. I will never do anything to part us
-further&mdash;understand me! I will never marry him against your will. Oh,
-Claire, try to understand me&mdash;try to trust me&mdash;try to love me!†She rose
-to her feet, her face ardent with the upsurging of all her longing
-motherhood, its sudden flaming into desperate hope through the deep
-driftings of ashen hopelessness; and as if swayed forward by this flame
-of hope, this longing of love, this ardor, she leaned toward her child,
-stretched out her arms toward her face of heavy impassivity. At the
-gesture, at her mother’s last words, Claire’s impassivity flickered into
-a half-ironic, half-pitying smile. But she did not advance to the
-outstretched arms. Merely looking at her with this searing pity, she
-said:</p>
-
-<p>“You would marry him to me if you could, wouldn’t you?&mdash;you would, as
-usual, sacrifice yourself to me; as usual,<a name="page_202" id="page_202"></a> your radiance would shine
-against my dark. Poor, magnanimous Mamma! No, no, no!†She turned and
-walked up and down the room. “No, no! I am tired of all this&mdash;tired of
-you; and you are tired of me. You will marry Mr. Damier. Why not, after
-all? Don’t let scruples of conscience interfere, especially none on my
-account. It would not separate us: we are separated; we have always been
-separated, and that we are gives me no pain. But don’t expect me either
-to live with you when you are married, or to marry my antique lover and
-settle down to the respectable, tepid joys he offers me. No, and no
-again. I will not marry him. I leave the respectability to you two
-excellent people.†The glance she shot at them now as they stood
-together was pure irony. Her mother’s pale and beautiful face still kept
-its look of frozen appeal, as though, while she made the appeal, she had
-been shot through the heart. Its beauty seemed to sting Claire where the
-appeal did not touch, and, too, Damier’s look, bent on her with a quiet
-that defied<a name="page_203" id="page_203"></a> her and all she signified, stung her, perhaps, more deeply.</p>
-
-<p>“My poor chances can’t compete with yours, Mamma,†she muttered. “Let me
-tell you that despair becomes you.†She took up her hat.</p>
-
-<p>“Where are you going, Claire?†Madame Vicaud asked in her dead voice.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t be alarmed. Not to the Seine. I am going to a tea with Mrs.
-Wallingham. I shall be back to dinner. You will admit me?â€</p>
-
-<p>“I shall always admit you.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Good.†Claire was putting in her hat-pins before the mirror. “That is
-reassuring. Console her, Mr. Damier. Try to atone to her for me&mdash;bad as
-I am, I am sure that you can do so. Ah, I don’t harmonize with a
-love-scene!&mdash;it was one I interrupted, I suppose. Let me take my
-baseness&mdash;my vileness&mdash;from before you.†Her hand on the door, she
-paused, fixing a last look upon them; then, with a short laugh, she
-said, “Accept my blessing,†and was gone.<a name="page_204" id="page_204"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XVI" id="XVI"></a>XVI</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_M.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_M_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="75"
-alt="M"
-/></span></a>ADAME VICAUD said nothing. She drew her hand from
-Damier’s and sank again into the chair from which she had risen. Hope,
-ardor, and love, forever perhaps, were dead within her. She had hated
-her daughter, but under the hatred had been, always, the hidden flame,
-not, perhaps, of love, but of longing to love. She hated no longer, and
-the flame was quenched. Even in his nearness to her, Damier could not
-look with her at that slain longing. Walking away from her, he stood for
-a long time, gazing unseeingly over the garden, in silence. At last he
-turned and came to her. Her arm leaned on the table and her head upon
-her hand. With unutterable weariness she looked up at him.<a name="page_205" id="page_205"></a></p>
-
-<p>“And now,†she said, “you must go, my friend.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Go?†Damier repeated.</p>
-
-<p>Years of resolute endurance looked from her eyes; the weariness was not
-a wavering. Her face seemed sinking back into the abyss from which he
-had rescued it.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, you must go.â€</p>
-
-<p>“And leave you with her!â€</p>
-
-<p>“And leave me with her,†she assented monotonously.</p>
-
-<p>“Never&mdash;never!â€</p>
-
-<p>She passed her hand over her brow, pressing her eyelids, as if in the
-effort to dispel her deep fatigue and find words with which to answer
-his harassing protest.</p>
-
-<p>“Yet you must. I have the wonder, the treasure of your love for me. I
-will keep it always. I will never forget you. But it is impossible, even
-the friendship, now. We must not drag what is dear to us in the mire. I
-could not keep you as my friend under her eyes. I must live with her,
-and for her; that is the only life<a name="page_206" id="page_206"></a> possible for me. I made it for
-myself. Whatever her cruelty, whatever her baseness, I have only to
-remember that I am responsible for her, that I am her only chance. And
-after this her presence in my life makes yours wrong. She knows now that
-you are not a friend only, and as a husband you could not remain. Such a
-<i>ménage à trois</i> would be as detestable as it would be grotesque.â€</p>
-
-<p>“She will marry!†cried Damier. “She must marry Monsieur Daunay.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I do not think that she will marry him; but if she does marry, I could
-not separate my life from hers, though then I could see you again, but
-as friend, as friend only.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier burst out into a smothered invective:</p>
-
-<p>“And you think of sacrificing the rest of your life to that
-creature&mdash;who has no love for you&mdash;whom you cannot love! What can you do
-for her? You can never change or soften her.â€</p>
-
-<p>He felt that the vehemence of his<a name="page_207" id="page_207"></a> despair and rebellion dashed itself
-against a rocky inflexibility, although she still bent her head upon her
-hand with the same deep weariness, not looking at him, still spoke on
-with the same monotonous patience:</p>
-
-<p>“I cannot call the fulfilling of the most rudimentary maternal duty a
-sacrifice. You forget that my youth is past, and that with it the time
-for sacrifices is past, too. I have no claims on life. Life, at my age
-and in my position, can only be a dedication. I can, perhaps, never
-soften or change her: but I can still protect her; I can still lend her
-the dignity, such as it is, of my home and my companionship. And I can
-pity her, most piteous creature&mdash;whose mother has no love for her.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, you do not love me!†cried Damier, and all his youth was in the
-cry. “You sacrifice <i>me</i> with such composure! You give yourself to have
-your life sucked out of you by this vampire shape of the past. And it is
-me you rob! It is my life you immolate, as well as your own!<a name="page_208" id="page_208"></a> What of my
-claim on life&mdash;my claim on you? You have no conception of what you are
-to me, or you could not speak of shutting me out from you; you could not
-think of sending me away! You could not speak so&mdash;think so&mdash;if you loved
-me!â€</p>
-
-<p>From her chair she now looked up at him, not with weariness, with a look
-curiously vivid and tender. “You speak like a boy,†she said.</p>
-
-<p>Damier flung himself on his knees beside her. “And you think that I can
-leave you when you can look at me like that&mdash;love me like that!â€</p>
-
-<p>“Because I do.†She let him take her hands, and went on, almost smiling
-at him: “Because I love you like that, and because you love me like
-that, and because I am so much older than you&mdash;can’t you feel it? how
-like a little boy&mdash;passionate, unruly in his grief&mdash;you seem to me! And
-because, in spite of my age and your boyishness, we do yet love each
-other so greatly that the very greatness<a name="page_209" id="page_209"></a> of our love makes the question
-of our being together or apart really of not such significance.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Of not such significance!†poor Damier cried. “I am to find you in
-heaven, then!â€</p>
-
-<p>“Probably.†She did smile now, but he guessed that it was the brave
-smile she could summon over anguish. He guessed that her feeling of his
-boyishness was less apparent to her than her feeling of his power over
-her, his right to her. She might never yield to the power, never own to
-the right, but to guess that she felt them was assurance enough for the
-moment, and the pallor of the face that smiled at him was a reproach to
-him.</p>
-
-<p>“No, no,†he said; “I shall keep you there&mdash;and I shall keep you here,
-too. I will rescue you. I will find out the way. And I will leave you
-now and give you peace for a little while. You are terribly tired.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Terribly,†she assented. “It is kind and generous of you to go now.<a name="page_210" id="page_210"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“But my going is to be taken as no token of submission. I will return.â€</p>
-
-<p>“To say good-by.â€</p>
-
-<p>“So you say.â€</p>
-
-<p>“So you will do.†And she still smiled, all tenderness, all
-inflexibility.</p>
-
-<p>“Never, never, never!†said Damier.<a name="page_211" id="page_211"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XVII" id="XVII"></a>XVII</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_D.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_D_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="78"
-alt="D"
-/></span></a>AMIER, for his own part, felt no need of peace. A
-passionate protestation, a passionate determination, filled him. At his
-hotel, as if in answer to vague plans and projects, the figure of
-Monsieur Daunay, rising from a chair, confronted him. From Monsieur
-Daunay’s relief and alacrity he guessed that he had been waiting there
-for some time&mdash;ever since, he further guessed, his conversation with
-Claire.</p>
-
-<p>“You have heard?†asked Monsieur Daunay, and a host of questions looked
-from his eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“That you have proposed to Mademoiselle Vicaud, yes; and that she has
-answered you, I fear, not favorably; yes, I have heard.<a name="page_212" id="page_212"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“You have seen her?â€</p>
-
-<p>“I was with her mother, speaking with her of it, when Claire came.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I have intruded thus upon you,†said Monsieur Daunay, “in the faint
-hope that you might be able, after seeing her, to give me some
-encouragement, since from her I could elicit none. She was sullen,
-silent, reproached me for my haste. After all these years!†Monsieur
-Daunay groaned, and dropped again into his chair, folding his arms and
-bowing his head in a despairing acquiescence to fate’s cruelty. “After
-all these years!†he repeated.</p>
-
-<p>Damier saw down a long vista of them, sunny with the encouraging smiles
-of the charming Claire.</p>
-
-<p>“You have assured me,†Daunay presently said, “that you were not the
-cause of this change in Claire.â€</p>
-
-<p>It was a rather perplexing question, but Damier was able truthfully to
-answer it with: “I can again assure you that it is only through her
-relation with her mother that Claire interests me.<a name="page_213" id="page_213"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“And so she has assured me, again and again, and that all her affection
-was for me. And yet, now that I can claim her&mdash;now that I come, trusting
-and hoping, she turns from me; she mutters that I am too old; not rich
-enough. Ah, <i>mon Dieu</i>!â€</p>
-
-<p>Claire, clearly, Damier also saw, had never endangered her certain hold
-upon Monsieur Daunay’s usefulness by confessing to him her expectation
-of larger achievements. She would evade him, and hold him, as long as
-she had need of him.</p>
-
-<p>Part of her anger to-day had, no doubt, been due to the fact that the
-sudden crisis had forced her into a decisive attitude toward him while
-yet uncertain that she could with safety give him up. Yet, indeed, she
-had been able to avoid absolute decisiveness&mdash;so Monsieur Daunay’s next
-words proved:</p>
-
-<p>“She told me that all her affection was still mine, but owned to higher
-ambitions; she had never, she said, hidden from me that she was
-ambitious, and life now was<a name="page_214" id="page_214"></a> opening new possibilities to her. Could
-affection and ambition be combined, had I a large fortune to gild my
-middle age and my unimportance, she would at once marry me.â€</p>
-
-<p>“She is utterly unworthy of you,†said Damier.</p>
-
-<p>At this a faint, ironic smile crossed the Frenchman’s face. “Ah, <i>mon
-ami</i>,†he said, “you need not tell me that. If I love Claire, do not
-imagine, as I told you last night, that I am blinded by my love. I love
-her <i>d’un amour fou</i>&mdash;and I recognize it. She possesses me; she can do
-what she will with me; I should forgive her anything. But I know that I
-am a captive&mdash;and to no noble captor.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Just heavens!†Damier broke out, indifferent, in his indignant pity, to
-his own interests, “shake off this obsession&mdash;and her with it! Leave
-her; go away; do not see her again. What misery if you were to marry
-her!â€</p>
-
-<p>“What will you? I adore her!†His helplessness seemed final. He
-presently<a name="page_215" id="page_215"></a> went on: “But I came to-day to ask for your help. You occupy
-a peculiar position toward Madame Vicaud and her daughter; you have
-influence with them both. Use it in my favor, I beg of you. Intercede
-for me.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Any influence I have shall, I promise you, be devoted to that purpose.
-I can hardly hope that your hopes will be realized; their realization
-could not be for your happiness. Pardon me, but have you never suspected
-that Claire is like her father&mdash;that she, too, is a miserable creature?â€</p>
-
-<p>For a long moment Daunay looked at him.</p>
-
-<p>“She is like her father,†he then said; “but have you never suspected,
-or, rather, do you not now see, that, because of that, my claim is all
-the stronger? What man not knowing it, marrying her in ignorance of it,
-would not repent? I should never repent. She is like him, if you will,
-but she is, irrevocably, the woman I love. More than that, she is the
-child I love;<a name="page_216" id="page_216"></a> I have watched her grow up. From the beginning, she has
-been <i>ma petite Claire</i>; so she will be to the end&mdash;whatever that end
-may be.â€</p>
-
-<p>Monsieur Daunay spoke with a profound feeling, a profound sincerity that
-the emotional tremor of his voice, the emotional tears in his eyes, only
-made the more characteristic and touching to Damier. He got up and
-grasped the Frenchman’s hand in silence.</p>
-
-<p>A knock at the door broke upon this compact of sympathy; a garçon
-brought a card to Damier and said that the lady waited for him in the
-salon below. The card was Lady Surfex’s, and on it was written:</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot"><p>Must see you at once, on most important matter concerning Madame V.</p></div>
-
-<p>“Wait for me here,†Damier said to Monsieur Daunay. “This may concern
-you as well as me.â€</p>
-
-<p>He found Lady Surfex in the drearily<a name="page_217" id="page_217"></a> gaudy salon, her face ominous of
-ill tidings.</p>
-
-<p>“My dear Eustace,†she said,&mdash;they were alone, yet her voice was
-discreetly low,&mdash;“a horrid thing has happened&mdash;or is going to. I thought
-it best to come to you at once. Claire Vicaud runs away to-night with
-Lord Epsil.â€</p>
-
-<p>And, as he stared at her in stricken silence:</p>
-
-<p>“I found it out by chance. I was at Mrs. Wallingham’s. They were
-there&mdash;Mademoiselle Vicaud and Lord Epsil. I watched them, indeed, with
-some uneasiness, as they sat, with ostentatious retirement, in a dim
-corner. I saw them go out together. Do you know, Eustace, my distrust of
-that girl and of that man&mdash;in justice to her, I must say it&mdash;was so
-great that I really was on the point of following them&mdash;asking her to
-let me drive her home; but I hesitated, people I knew came in, I had to
-speak to them, and so some time went by. Then, about half an hour after
-they were gone, Mrs. Wallingham<a name="page_218" id="page_218"></a> came to me and whispered that a maid&mdash;a
-discreet English person who was dispensing tea in the dining-room&mdash;had
-overheard Lord Epsil saying to Mademoiselle Vicaud that they would take
-the night train to Dinard, and that his yacht was there. The woman came
-at once to her mistress. And now, Eustace, what can be done to save
-<i>her</i>?†They both knew to whom the pronoun referred; a conventional
-saving of Claire had significance only in reference to her mother.</p>
-
-<p>Damier was steadying his thoughts.</p>
-
-<p>“The night train.†He looked at his watch. “There is time,†he said.</p>
-
-<p>“For what, Eustace?â€</p>
-
-<p>“There is only one chance. One can’t appeal to her heart, or
-conscience&mdash;or even, it seems, to her ambition; but one might to her
-greed&mdash;offer her some firmer, surer competence. I had thought of it
-dimly before. I could catch that Dinard train&mdash;go with them&mdash;find some
-opportunity for seeing her alone before they reach Dinard&mdash;or before
-they reach the yacht.<a name="page_219" id="page_219"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“But, Eustace,†her helpless wonder reproached his baseless optimism,
-“what <i>could</i> you do? You can’t beard the man; she is of age&mdash;goes
-willingly. What a situation!â€</p>
-
-<p>“I could offer her half of my income for life, if she would consent to
-return with me, and to marry a man who is devoted to her&mdash;who, I think,
-would forgive anything.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Eustace, it would leave you almost poor!â€</p>
-
-<p>“Not quite, since the half is large enough, I trust, to tempt her! The
-whole would not be too much to give to save <i>her</i> from this final blow.â€</p>
-
-<p>“But can you&mdash;this man&mdash;will he?â€</p>
-
-<p>“He is up-stairs. I will see him, and start at once.â€</p>
-
-<p>“And, Eustace&mdash;wait; can’t we keep it from her&mdash;can’t we think of some
-good lie?â€</p>
-
-<p>He had almost to smile at her intently thoughtful face.</p>
-
-<p>“What possible lie can we think of? Claire will not come back
-to-night&mdash;she must know, sooner or later.<a name="page_220" id="page_220"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“But it is for to-night I want to spare her. Ah, I have it&mdash;no lie,
-either. I merely send a telegram, ‘Claire may not return to-night: will
-explain to-morrow,’ signed with my name; she will think Claire is
-passing the night with me; and then, you know, the girl may, at the last
-moment, decide not to go.â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier had to yield to her eagerness. Up-stairs the words he had with
-Daunay were short, bitter, decisive. Averting his eyes from the
-unfortunate man’s face, he put the case before him. He turned his back
-on him when he had spoken, went to the window, left him to an unobserved
-quaffing of the poisonous cup.</p>
-
-<p>Monsieur Daunay’s first words showed that he had quaffed it bravely and
-that his reason still stood firm.</p>
-
-<p>“She must be mad,†he said; “it is not like her.â€</p>
-
-<p>“No, it is not like her. And I may tell you that I suspect revenge to be
-in part her motive. She had a terrible quarrel with her mother this
-afternoon.<a name="page_221" id="page_221"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>Damier turned now and faced him.</p>
-
-<p>“And now, Monsieur Daunay, are you willing to save her?â€</p>
-
-<p>“I am ready,†the Frenchman said quietly; “with your help, I am ready to
-save her.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I go at once, and with that assurance, then?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; I am ready. Tell her that. Tell her, too, that if her mother will
-not receive her, she will find a home at my cousin’s until our marriage
-can take place.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Her mother will receive her,†said Damier. “As you have forgiven, so
-she will forgive.<a name="page_222" id="page_222"></a>â€</p>
-
-<h2><a name="XVIII" id="XVIII"></a>XVIII</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_T.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_T_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="76"
-alt="T"
-/></span></a>HE long, hot, rushing hours had passed, for Damier, in
-a sort of stupor, the anæsthesia of one fixed idea. In the stuffy
-railway-carriage, his eyes on the dark square of the open window, where
-one saw vaguely the starlit depths of a midsummer night, he thought,
-with the odd detachment of a crisis, of the past day: the sunny morning
-walk with Claire&mdash;green leaves, purple shadows; the afternoon’s supreme
-moment&mdash;a deep pulse of wonder in his heart, hardly to be seen in
-images; Lady Surfex among the palms and monstrous gilded pottery of the
-hotel salon; Monsieur Daunay’s quiet, white face; the crowded Paris
-railway-station, and the glimpse he had caught in it of Claire and Lord
-Epsil.<a name="page_223" id="page_223"></a> This most recent impression was also the most vivid, threw all
-the others into a blurred background where, with a new look of woe, only
-Madame Vicaud’s face glimmered clearly.</p>
-
-<p>The enforced pause at the height of his resolution made both the past
-and the future half illusory. The present, with not its usual flashing
-impermanence, had, for hours, been the same, had stopped, as it were, at
-an instant of vigilant alertness, and held him in it rigidly. Until the
-object of that vigilance, that alertness, were attained, he could not
-look forward or make projects. The chance for seeing Claire alone could
-not come, probably, until Dinard was reached. There, in the hurry of
-arrival, he might snatch a word with her. It would only be necessary to
-speak the word, to put the alternative before her. Entreaty would be
-useless; all the argument possible was the chink of gold in two hands;
-all the hope, that his chink might be the louder.</p>
-
-<p>Shortly after ten o’clock the train drew<a name="page_224" id="page_224"></a> up in the Rennes station.
-Damier had let no such opportunity escape him, and he again stepped from
-his compartment and stood looking toward the part of the train where he
-knew were Claire and her cavalier. As he looked he saw the tall figure
-of the Englishman stroll across the platform to the refreshment-buffet.
-The light fell full on his long, smooth, pink face,&mdash;a papier-mâché
-pink,&mdash;on his long, high nose and whity-brown mustache. Damier darted
-forward. In an instant he was at the door, still ajar, of the
-compartment that Lord Epsil had just left. He saw, under the yellow
-glare of the lamp, a confusion of traveling-bags, rugs, bandboxes
-(Claire had evidently shopped), newspapers and magazines; a large box of
-bonbons lay on a seat, its contents half rifled, its papers strewing the
-floor; and, settled back in a corner, her shoulders huddled together in
-a graceful sleepiness, was Claire. A long silk traveling-cloak fell over
-her white dress; the winged white hat of the morning was pushed a little
-to<a name="page_225" id="page_225"></a> one side as her head leaned against the cushioned carriage; a
-drooping curve of loosened hair, shining in the light like molten brass,
-fell over her cheek and neck; her profile, half hidden, was at once
-petulant and relaxed with drowsiness.</p>
-
-<p>Damier did not hesitate. He sprang into the carriage. Not touching the
-girl, he leaned over her. “Claire,†he said.</p>
-
-<p>In an instant she had started into erectness, staring stupefied, too
-stupefied for shame or anger.</p>
-
-<p>“I have only a moment,†said Damier, speaking with a clear-cut dryness
-of utterance. “If you will come back with me, and marry Monsieur
-Daunay,&mdash;he knows all and will marry you,&mdash;half of my income is yours
-for life.â€</p>
-
-<p>After the first stare she had blinked in opening her eyes to the light
-and to the sudden apparition; the eyes were now fixed widely on him;
-they looked like two deep, black holes.</p>
-
-<p>“It is a bribe,†she said.</p>
-
-<p>“Call it so if you will.<a name="page_226" id="page_226"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“It shows your scorn for me.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Comprehension of you, rather.â€</p>
-
-<p>“And if I don’t?â€</p>
-
-<p>“If you don’t I will challenge this man&mdash;and fight him. I am an
-excellent fencer, an excellent shot.â€</p>
-
-<p>She looked at him, half scoffing, yet half believing. “Englishmen don’t
-fight duels.â€</p>
-
-<p>“This one will.â€</p>
-
-<p>“He might kill you.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I might kill him; you would have to take the risk.â€</p>
-
-<p>She shrugged her shoulders. “<i>Bien!</i> I understand, too. I will fulfil
-myself.†She half rose, then sank again. “How much?†He mentioned the
-sum&mdash;not a small one. “Make it two thirds,†said Claire, keeping her
-dilated eyes upon him with an effect of final and defiant revelation.</p>
-
-<p>“Two thirds, then,†he assented, in the steadied voice of one who does
-not dare hurry indecision. Yet, even now, she did not rise.<a name="page_227" id="page_227"></a></p>
-
-<p>“One more condition, please. I do not see my mother again. Let us say,
-if you like, that I am ashamed to meet her.â€</p>
-
-<p>“She has not been told&mdash;of this.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, she has,†said Claire. “I wrote and told her.†There was the
-satisfaction of achievement in the way she said it. “Oh, yes; she
-knows.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Yet, even after that,&mdash;your vengeance, I suppose,&mdash;I hardly dare make
-the promise for her,&mdash;she can forgive&mdash;even this.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Ah,†and the hoarse note was in Claire’s voice, “but I can’t take
-forgiveness from her. I have left the world where such episodes as this
-need forgiveness. Tolerance is now all that I will endure&mdash;and she will
-never tolerate. No; I will not come with you; I will not return to
-Monsieur Daunay and to respectability&mdash;unless you promise that I shall
-never see her again.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I promise it, then, if it is the condition.â€</p>
-
-<p>“You accept? <i>Bien!</i>†Claire sprang up, and ripping an illustration from
-a magazine,<a name="page_228" id="page_228"></a> she scribbled on the blank back, “Have decided, after all,
-that I won’t come,†transfixed it with a hat-pin to the cushioned back
-of Lord Epsil’s vacated seat, then, as rapidly, reached for two of the
-bandboxes, pulled them, rattling, from the racks, stooped and jerked a
-large pasteboard box from under a seat, and, encumbered as she already
-was, caught up from among the rugs and bags several smaller packages,
-dexterously holding them to her sides with her elbows.</p>
-
-<p>Damier, who had stared, hardly comprehending, gripped her wrist. “Put
-them down.†She gazed round in sincere amazement; then, with quite a
-humorous laugh, dropped the booty. “I really forgot! No, it wouldn’t be
-fair play, would it?&mdash;though, I confess, I should like to take a little
-vengeance; he has irritated me, been too complacent, too assured. This,
-too?†She touched the silk traveling-cloak. Damier, without speaking,
-stripped it off her; then, catching her by the arm, he almost dragged
-her<a name="page_229" id="page_229"></a> from the carriage, for her feet stumbled among the dressing-cases
-and the abandoned boxes.</p>
-
-<p>He found, as they almost ran along the dim platform across to the one
-opposite, and as he pushed her into a compartment of the Paris train
-that stood there, that she was laughing. The adventure of it, the
-excitement, Lord Epsil’s discomfiture, appealed, evidently, to her sense
-of mirth.</p>
-
-<p>There were other occupants of the carriage, and Damier was thankful for
-it. He did not want to talk to Claire. To reproach her would make him as
-ridiculous as beating a tin pan in the expectation of response other
-than a mocking cachinnation; not to reproach might seem to condone by
-comprehension. Yet, as she sank back into a corner, settled her shoulder
-in it, he saw that there was emotion under the laughter, that it was not
-only the tin-pan rattle. He could interpret it as almost a regret&mdash;a
-regret for something against which she had always rebelled, from which<a name="page_230" id="page_230"></a>
-she had now finally freed herself, a sudden realization that forever she
-had lost the standing upon which he had found her. Yet, over this trace
-of emotion and suffering, that, to Damier, was more piteous than
-anything he had yet seen in her, she smiled at him, with half-dropped
-lids. It was the look, with her a new one, of brazening a shame. Already
-her nature had retaliated upon the wrong she had done it by fixing in
-her face a more apparent ugliness of expression. She glanced round at
-the sleepy, respectable occupants of the carriage, their sleepiness,
-however, keeping an eye upon this startling young person in her white
-dress.</p>
-
-<p>“Before we relapse into an irrevocable silence,†she said, “let me
-inform you&mdash;it will complete your evil opinion of me&mdash;that I didn’t
-really care about him; I cared for his caring about me&mdash;though at
-moments even that fatigued me, <i>il m’embêtait quelquefois</i>; but then, I
-was glad to be revenged.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Upon whom? For what?<a name="page_231" id="page_231"></a>â€</p>
-
-<p>“Upon you both&mdash;for making me feel that I was not of your world.â€</p>
-
-<p>“We did not make you feel it, Claire.â€</p>
-
-<p>For some moments they were silent, as the train moved slowly from the
-station, and then she said:</p>
-
-<p>“Where will you take me?â€</p>
-
-<p>“To his cousin’s, Mademoiselle Daunay’s. I have arranged all with him.â€</p>
-
-<p>A look, almost tremulous under its attempt at a light sneer, crossed her
-face.</p>
-
-<p>“What forgiveness! <i>Il est un peu lâche, vous savez.</i>â€</p>
-
-<p>“Try, Claire, to deserve such touching <i>lâcheté</i>.â€</p>
-
-<p>Again Claire was, for some moments, silent; then, yawning slightly, yet,
-again his acuteness guessed, affectedly, she said, settling her shoulder
-more decisively in her corner:</p>
-
-<p>“There is the more hope for my deserving it since now I am rich. You may
-make your mind easy about my future. I have got all that I ever really
-wanted.†It was the new and brazen note over the new<a name="page_232" id="page_232"></a> shame; but as he
-looked at the face that first pretended to sleep, and that eventually
-did sleep, was not the brass the curious, anomalous shield that nature
-put around something growing&mdash;around a soul that at last, with a faint,
-half-conscious thrill, felt upon it the awakening breath of suffering?<a name="page_233" id="page_233"></a></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XIX" id="XIX"></a>XIX</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><a href="images/ill_T.png">
-<span class="letra"><img src="images/ill_T_sml.png"
-width="75"
-height="76"
-alt="T"
-/></span></a>HE morning was still fresh when Damier walked down the
-Rue B&mdash;&mdash; next day. Clear early sunlight fell upon the houses opposite
-Madame Vicaud’s, glittering on their upper windows, gilding their
-austerity; but the depths of the street were still cool and unshadowed.</p>
-
-<p>The concierge was sweeping out the courtyard, and fixed on Damier a
-cogitating eye; his early visit and Claire’s absence were, no doubt, to
-her vigilant curiosity, symptoms of something unusual. The cogitation,
-though mingled with relief, was repeated at the door above in
-Angélique’s look. She was plainly glad to see him. Madame Vicaud had sat
-up all night, she volunteered, quite as if accepting him<a name="page_234" id="page_234"></a> as a member of
-the family, privileged to confidences; she thought that madame had hoped
-for mademoiselle’s return, and she feared that the letter that had
-arrived from mademoiselle an hour before had much distressed madame.
-Perhaps Monsieur Damier could persuade her to have some coffee; she had
-eaten no dinner the night before, nor breakfast this morning. Damier
-promised to persuade, and Angélique ushered him into the salon.</p>
-
-<p>He had never before seen it flooded with sunlight,&mdash;for this was his
-first morning visit,&mdash;and the windows overlooking the garden faced a
-radiant sky.</p>
-
-<p>His eyes were dazzled, and the dark figure that rose to meet him seemed
-to waver in the light.</p>
-
-<p>The calamity that had befallen her, at variance with the joyous setting
-in which he found her, showed in her white face&mdash;her eyes, still, as it
-were, astonished from the shock, dark with misery and a night of
-watching. On the table near which she had been sitting were a burnt-out
-candle,<a name="page_235" id="page_235"></a> Lady Surfex’s telegram of the night before, and a letter,
-opening its large displayal of vigorous handwriting to the revealing
-day: Claire’s handwriting, Claire’s letter of farewell. Damier took
-Madame Vicaud’s hands and looked at her; the astonishment of her eyes
-hurt him more than their dry misery: after all, then, she had been so
-unprepared.</p>
-
-<p>“I know all,†she said.</p>
-
-<p>“Not all.â€</p>
-
-<p>“She has left me&mdash;with that man; she has written to me.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Not all,†he repeated.</p>
-
-<p>“Is there more? There cannot be worse.â€</p>
-
-<p>“There is better. She is safe.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Safe? Do you mean that she did not go?â€</p>
-
-<p>Her eyes, with their sudden leap of light, burned him.</p>
-
-<p>“No; she did go. But I followed them; I brought her back.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Back to me? She was frightened at what she had done?†she again asked,
-her<a name="page_236" id="page_236"></a> eyes still burning, but more dimly, upon him. His eyes dropped
-before them; looking down at the wasted hands he held, he said:</p>
-
-<p>“No, dearest, not to you&mdash;to Monsieur Daunay. She is to marry him. She
-is with his cousin now.â€</p>
-
-<p>Her vigil had evidently been tearless; even the arrival that morning of
-the fatal letter had not melted her frozen terror. But now, as she
-looked speechlessly at him, the long rise of a sob heaved her breast;
-her hands slid from his; she sank into a chair, and resting her crossed
-arms upon the table, she bent her head upon them and wept and shuddered.
-In the sunny stillness of the room the young man stood beside her. He
-felt an alien before this intimate, maternal anguish. She did not weep
-for long. She presently sat upright, dried her eyes, and pushed back her
-hair, keeping her hand pressed tightly, for a moment, on her forehead,
-as if in an effort to regain her long habit of self-control; and as if
-to gain time, to hide the<a name="page_237" id="page_237"></a> painful effort from him, she pointed to
-Claire’s letter. “Read it,†she said.</p>
-
-<p>It was Claire’s most callous, most ugly self; its passion of hatred and
-revenge hardly masked itself in the metallic tone of mockery. They were
-both well rid of her&mdash;her dear Mamma and her dear Mamma’s suitor. They
-were far too good for her, and she justified them by showing them how
-far too bad she was for them. Pursuit and reproaches were useless. She
-feared that her dear Mamma’s ermine robe of respectability must be
-permanently spotted by a daughter notoriously naughty&mdash;for she did not
-intend to hide her new situation. But perhaps the daughter could be
-lived down as the daughter’s father had been. And on, and on&mdash;short
-phrases, lava-jets from the seething volcano of base vulgarity; Damier
-felt them burn his own cheek while he read.</p>
-
-<p>Madame Vicaud’s eyes were on his when he raised them; but quickly
-looking away from him, she said: “It came this morning. Last night I
-could not understand<a name="page_238" id="page_238"></a> that telegram; I could not believe that she would
-not return. I felt that something was being hidden from me; it was like
-battling in a stifling black air. And then&mdash;this came.†He had laid the
-letter beside her, and she touched it with her finger, as if it had been
-a snake. “This&mdash;this end of all!â€</p>
-
-<p>“She is safe,†Damier repeated rather helplessly.</p>
-
-<p>“Safe!†the mother echoed. Leaning her head against the chair-back, she
-closed her eyes. Lovely and dignified even in her disgrace, nothing
-could smirch and nothing could abase her; she had never looked so noble
-as at this moment of dreadful defeat and overthrow. “And how have you
-saved her?†she asked. “What did Monsieur Daunay have to offer&mdash;what did
-you have to offer&mdash;to bring her back&mdash;since it was not repentance? It
-was not repentance?â€</p>
-
-<p>“No; but I believe that she was glad to come. I&mdash;I dowered Claire,†said
-Damier, after a momentary pause.<a name="page_239" id="page_239"></a></p>
-
-<p>Madame Vicaud, still keeping her eyes closed, was silent. He leaned over
-her and took her hand. “All that I have is yours. You dowered her, let
-us say.â€</p>
-
-<p>“What do you mean by dowering her?†she asked.</p>
-
-<p>“I have given her two thirds of my income for life.â€</p>
-
-<p>Her hand in his was chill and passive; he felt in her the cold shudder
-of shame.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah,†he said, “from me&mdash;from me you do not resent such saving?â€</p>
-
-<p>“Resent?&mdash;from you?†she said gently. “No, no; it is of her I am
-thinking. No; you did well, very well to save her&mdash;if we may call it
-saving. You have washed the spots from my respectability. We both know
-the value of such washing; but it is best&mdash;best to have us all
-respectable,â€&mdash;a bitter smile touched her lips,&mdash;“since it is that we
-prize so. And were there no other inducements?â€</p>
-
-<p>“There was a condition,â€&mdash;he had to nerve himself to the speaking of
-it,&mdash;“that she did not see you again. She<a name="page_240" id="page_240"></a> has, by her own wish, broken
-the bond between you. She has left your life.â€</p>
-
-<p>Madame Vicaud clenched her hands, and her chin trembled.</p>
-
-<p>“Yet&mdash;let me tell you,†he said, “I believe that there is more hope for
-Claire so left in the evil and abasement she has made about herself than
-if she were to have remained with you; all the forces of her nature were
-engaged in resistance, or in a pretended submission that bided its time.
-Now she must do battle with the world on a level where life will teach
-her lessons she can understand. She has severed herself completely from
-you&mdash;she has completely fulfilled herself. Some new blossoming may
-follow; who knows?â€</p>
-
-<p>“But no blossoming for me. I shall not see it,†said Madame Vicaud. “My
-life has been useless.â€</p>
-
-<p>Useless? He wondered over her past, her long efforts, this wreck.</p>
-
-<p>Could goodness, however clear-sighted, however divine in its
-comprehension and pity, prevent evil from working itself out,<a name="page_241" id="page_241"></a>
-fulfilling itself? Was not its working out perhaps its salvation?</p>
-
-<p>“How can you tell?†he said. “You have done your work for her.â€</p>
-
-<p>“I have done nothing for her. Everything has failed.†Still, with closed
-eyes, she leaned her head against the chair, and slow tears fell down
-her cheeks.</p>
-
-<p>“You have fulfilled yourself toward her; that is not failure. You have
-fought your fight. Surely it is the fighting, and not its result, that
-makes success. And can you say that everything has failed&mdash;when you
-still have me to live for? Claire has gone out of your life. She has
-shut the door on you. She has left you, and&mdash;oh, dearest, dearest, she
-has left you to me!â€</p>
-
-<p>He stood before her, looking at her with faithful eyes. His love for her
-made no menace to her grief; it did not jar upon her sorrow; rather it
-was with her in it all, it could not: be separated from it&mdash;as he could
-not be separated from any part of her life.<a name="page_242" id="page_242"></a></p>
-
-<p>“You are alone now,†he said, “and I am alone.â€</p>
-
-<p>“No,â€&mdash;she put her hand out to him,&mdash;“no; we are not alone.â€</p>
-
-<p>“Then&mdash;“ The air was golden, and in the open window, white flowers, set
-there, dazzled against the sky. This day of sunlight and disaster must
-symbolize the past and the future, as her eyes, with their silent,
-solemn assent, her face, so sweet and so sorrowful. She rose; he drew
-her toward him. But then, as though another consecration than embrace
-and kiss were needed for this strange betrothal, she walked with him,
-holding his hand, to the window, where the white flowers dazzled in the
-sun. She looked at the flowers, at the trees, at the splendid serenity
-of the morning sky, softly breathing the clear, radiant air&mdash;as though
-in “a peace out of pain.â€</p>
-
-<p>“We will go away,†said Damier, who looked at her; and, despite his
-sorrowing for her, the day seemed to him full of wings and music. “I do
-not want to see Paris again, do you? And this will be our<a name="page_243" id="page_243"></a> last memory
-of it&mdash;these flowers, this garden, this sky, that we look at together.
-We will think of it so, without pain almost, in a new, new life.â€</p>
-
-<p>“A new life,†she repeated gently and vaguely. Lifting his hand, she
-kissed it. “You have rescued me from the old one. You are my angel of
-resurrection,†she said.</p>
-
-<p>Yet that the future was dim to her, except through his faith in
-it,&mdash;that, indeed, it could never become an unshadowed brightness,&mdash;he
-knew, as, leaning against him, needing protection from her bitter
-thoughts, she murmured in the anguish of her desolate and bereaved
-motherhood: “Oh&mdash;but my child!â€</p>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/back.jpg" width="347" height="550" alt="backcover" title="backcover" />
-</p>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rescue, by Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Rescue
-
-Author: Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-
-Release Date: February 25, 2013 [EBook #42194]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE RESCUE ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
-produced from images available at The Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-The Rescue
-
-[Illustration: frontispiece]
-
-
-
-
-The Rescue
-
-BY
-Anne Douglas Sedgwick
-AUTHOR OF "THE CONFOUNDING OF CAMELIA"
-"THE DULL MISS ARCHINARD"
-
-[Illustration: colophon]
-
-NEW YORK
-The Century Co.
-1902
-
-Copyright, 1901, 1902, by
-THE CENTURY CO.
-
-_Published May, 1902_
-
-THE DEVINNE PRESS.
-
-
-
-
-TO
-
-G. S. S.
-
-AND
-
-M. D. S.
-
-
-
-
-
-THE RESCUE
-
-[Illustration]
-
-I
-
-
-EUSTACE DAMIER bent his long, melancholy profile over
-the photograph-album. It was an old-fashioned album; its faded morocco
-cover, its gilt clasp loosened with age, went with the quiet
-old-fashioned little room, that had no intentions, made no efforts, and
-yet was full of meaning, with the charm of an epoch near enough to be
-easily understood, yet with a grace and a pathos in its modern antiquity
-deeper than that possessed by a more romantic remoteness. It was the
-sort of little drawing-room where one's mother might have accepted one's
-father: one could not quite see one's present in it, but one saw a near
-and a dear past. The gray wall-paper with its flecked gold flower, the
-curved lines of the sedately ornamental chairs and sofas, the crisp yet
-faded chintzes, the wedded vases on the marble mantelpiece, the books,
-well worn, on stands, the group of family silhouettes on the wall, the
-cheerful floral carpet--all made a picture curiously unlike the early
-nineties, and fully characteristic of the sixties. There were many
-flowers about the room, arranged with a cheerful regularity; the very
-roses looked old-fashioned in their closely grouped bunches; and in a
-corner stood a tall etagere bearing potted plants in rows that narrowed
-to an apex. Between curtains, carefully drawn, of white lace and green
-rep, one saw a strip of garden brilliantly illuminated with sunlight.
-
-It was in just such a room and in such surroundings that Damier had
-imagined seeing again his old friend, and his mother's friend, Mrs.
-Mostyn. He always associated her with a sprightly conservatism. With a
-genial, yet detached, appreciation of modern taste, she would be
-placidly faithful to the taste of her girlhood. The house, he
-remembered, had been her mother's, and its contents had probably
-remained as they were when her mother's death put her in possession of
-it. He remembered Mrs. Mostyn's caps, her cameos, her rings, her
-bracelet with the plaited hair in it, her jests, too, and her
-gaieties--all with a perfume of potpourri, with a niceness and
-exactitude of simile that had not attempted to keep pace with the
-complexities, the allusiveness and elusiveness, of modern humor.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn had lived for many years in this small country house; she
-had entered it as a childless widow after a life of some color and
-movement, her husband having been a promising diplomat, whose death in
-early middle age had cut short a career that had not yet found an
-opportunity of rising from promise to any large achievement. After his
-death Mrs. Mostyn devoted herself to books, to her garden, her poor
-people, and her friends. Her house was not adapted to a large
-hospitality, but one of these friends was usually with her. Damier,
-however, was only paying a call. He had never visited Mrs. Mostyn; she
-had visited his mother in London, and since his mother had died he had
-been little in England. Now he was staying with the Halbournes, eight
-miles away.
-
-The atmosphere of the room, as he waited, the stillness of the warm,
-fragrant garden outside, combined to make a half-tender, half-melancholy
-mood, in which an impression, quickly felt, is long remembered. Such an
-impression awaited him in the old photograph-album. It had been natural
-to see there his mother's gentle, thoughtful face--first of a
-round-cheeked girl, looking like a Thackeray heroine, and, later, the
-face he knew so well, fatigued, sad, yet smiling under gray hair;
-natural to see his father, with dreaming eyes and the fine head of the
-thinker; to see aunts and uncles, his dead sister, and himself: but it
-was with the half-painful, half-joyous shock of something wholly
-unfamiliar, wholly arresting, strongly significant, that he came upon
-the photograph of an unknown lady. It was a faded carte-de-visite, and
-the small lettering on the cardboard edge spoke of Paris and of some
-bygone photographer. The lady was portrayed in a conventional pose and
-without modern accessories, leaning one arm in its sleeve of flowing
-silk on the back of a high chair, a hand hanging, half hidden, against
-the folds of her silken skirt. She was dressed after the fashion of the
-late sixties, in that of the Second Empire; yet, though her dress spoke
-of France, as the photograph had done, and spoke charmingly, her face
-was not that of a French-woman. One's first impression--not too
-superficial, either--was of a finished little _mondaine;_ but finished,
-poised, serene as she was, she could not be more than twenty--indeed, as
-Damier reflected, youth at that time was not a lengthy epoch, as in
-ours. She was slender, the leaning bust and arm rounded, the hand long.
-Her face was heart-shaped; the dark hair, parted over the forehead and
-drawn up fully from the brows, emphasized the width across the eyes, the
-narrowness of the face below; the lips were firm and delicate. Of her
-eyes one saw chiefly the gaze and the darkness under a sweep of straight
-eyebrow. And Damier had passed at once through these surface impressions
-to an essential one: her head was the most enchanting he had ever seen,
-and her eyes, as they looked at him, had a message for him. Man of the
-modern world as he was, he stood looking back at this dim, enchanting
-face; stood trying to interpret its message over the chasm made by more
-than two decades; stood wondering what she meant to him. He was wrapped
-in this sensation--of a spell woven about him, of an outstretching from
-the past, of something mysterious and urgent--when Mrs. Mostyn came in.
-
-
-
-
-II
-
-
-MRS. MOSTYN had changed little since he had last seen
-her five years ago in London. Her hair, under the laces of her cap, was
-whiter; her rosiness and plumpness--her little hands were especially
-fat--more accentuated: but the gaiety and kindness were the same. As
-much as in the past she entered into all his interests: asked questions
-about his three years at the English embassy in Rome, about his recent
-travels, what he had done, what he intended to do. When all
-reminiscences were over, all plans discussed, and when Mrs. Mostyn had
-sketched for him, with her crisp, nipping definitiveness, the people of
-the neighborhood, Damier, who during all the talk had kept the album in
-his hand, his forefinger between the leaves at the place where the
-enchanted photograph had looked at him, said, opening the book: "I have
-been immersing myself in the past. Is anything so full of its feeling as
-an old photograph-album? _Ca sent le temps_, and I have made a discovery
-there. Who is this?" He held out the opened page to her, and Mrs.
-Mostyn, adjusting her eye-glasses, looked.
-
-"Ah, yes. Is she not charming?"
-
-"She has charmed me. She is wonderful."
-
-"Her story was certainly rather wonderful. And she always charmed me,
-too, though I knew her only slightly, and saw her for only a short time.
-I met her in Paris when I was there with my husband. She was a Miss
-Chanfrey--Clara Chanfrey, a younger branch of the Bectons, you know.
-Clara had come out in London the year before. Lady Chanfrey, an
-ambitious woman, had, I fancy, determined on a brilliant match for her,
-and it seemed about to be realized, for Lord Pemleigh followed them to
-Paris, where Clara's beauty made a furor--she was thought lovelier than
-the Empress. As I remember her there was really no comparison; she was
-far lovelier. I can see her now: one night at the Tuileries--she wore a
-white gauze dress and lilies-of-the-valley in her hair; and at the
-opera, Lord Pemleigh in the box, a hard, impassive man, but he was,
-report said, desperately enamoured; and, again, riding in the Bois in
-the flowing habit of the time. There was an air of serious blitheness
-about her; yet under the blitheness I felt always an eagerness, a
-waiting. She always seemed to be waiting, and to smile and talk _pour
-passer le temps_--to make the something that was coming come more
-quickly. Poor child! it came."
-
-"She married Lord Pemleigh?" Damier asked, as Mrs. Mostyn paused, her
-eyes vague with memories.
-
-"No; don't you remember? He married little Ethel Dunstan--but only after
-years had passed. No; she did an extraordinary thing--a dreadful thing.
-She eloped--ran away with a French artist, a man of no family, no
-fortune. He was introduced to the Chanfreys in Paris, and painted
-Clara's portrait. Very clever it was thought, rather in the style of
-Manet; a full-length portrait--I saw it--of Clara in a white lawn dress
-with a green ribbon around her waist and a green ribbon in her black
-hair, and at her throat an emerald locket. Perhaps his very difference
-charmed her, and the distance that separated his world from hers made
-her unable to see him clearly; he was, too, extremely handsome. No
-explanations are needed of why he fell in love; the wealth and the
-position he hoped through her to attain were sufficient reasons, to say
-nothing of her beauty. At all events, Clara proudly avowed that they
-loved each other. One can only imagine the storm. The Chanfreys took her
-back to England; he followed them; and she ran away with him and married
-him. Her family never forgave her. Her father and mother died without
-ever seeing her again, and she refused the small allowance they offered
-her. Since those days I have heard only vaguely of her, and heard only
-unhappy things. The man, Jules Vicaud, was a talented brute. With her
-all had been glamour, charm, romance, the sense of generous trust; with
-him calculation and selfishness. He treated her abominably when he found
-that he had gained nothing with her; and he was idle, extravagant,
-dissipated. They became terribly poor. It was a sordid, a horrible
-story;--a violet dragged in the mud."
-
-Damier had listened in silence; now, as Mrs. Mostyn handed him back the
-album, and as, once more, the steady gaze met his, "I cannot associate
-her with the gutter," he said, "nor can I understand this violet
-stooping to it. I should have imagined her too fastidious, too
-intelligent, and, if you will, too conventional to be for one moment
-dazzled by a shoddy bohemian."
-
-"Oh," sighed Mrs. Mostyn, "has delicacy ever been a certificate of
-safety? She was fastidious, she was intelligent, she was conventional;
-but she was also idealistic, impulsive, ignorant--far more ignorant than
-a modern girl would be. Her knowledge of any other world than her own
-was so vague that the very carefulness of her breeding made her
-unconscious of its lack in others; differences she would have thought
-significant only of his greatness and her own littleness. She dazzled
-herself more than he dazzled her, perhaps. And he was, then at least,
-more than the shoddy bohemian. He had grace, power,--I well remember
-him,--an apparent indifference to the more petty standards and tests of
-her world that no doubt seemed to her a splendid, courageous
-unworldliness. And then he came at a moment of rebellion, pain, and
-perplexity, as a contrast to the formality, the charmlessness of her
-English suitor. She did not love Lord Pemleigh; her resistance to the
-match had already embittered her relations with her mother--Lady
-Chanfrey was a high-spirited, clever, cynical woman. And then--and
-then--she fell in love with Jules Vicaud; that is, after all, the only
-final explanation of these stories."
-
-"And she ceased to love him?" He seemed now to interpret the gaze more
-fully. Did it not foresee? Did it not entreat--though so proudly?
-
-"Ah, I don't know. All I know is that she stuck to him, and that she was
-miserable. Poor, poor child!" Mrs. Mostyn repeated.
-
-"And is she dead?" he asked after a little pause in which it seemed to
-him that they had thrown flowers on a long-forgotten grave.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn looked out of the window at the summer sky and sunny garden,
-the effort of difficult recollection on her face.
-
-"I really don't know--I really can't remember. So soon afterward my
-husband died; Lady Chanfrey died; I came here to live. I heard from time
-to time of her misfortunes--of her death I don't think I heard; but for
-years now I have heard nothing. How many years ago is it? This is '95,
-and that was--oh, it must have been nearly twenty-eight years ago."
-
-"So that she would be now?"
-
-"She would be forty-seven now. If she is alive the story of her life is
-over."
-
-"I wonder if it is. I wonder if she is alive."
-
-The gaze of the photograph, with all its calm, grew more profound, more
-significant.
-
-"Could you find out?" he asked presently.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn broke into a laugh that, with its cheery common sense, like
-a gay cockcrow announcing dawn, seemed to dispel the hallucinations of
-night, recall the reality of the present, and set them both firmly in
-their own epoch.
-
-"My dear Eustace! What a dabbler in impressions you are! I won't say
-dabbler--seeker-after."
-
-"Not after impressions," said Damier, smiling a little sadly.
-
-"And have you not found anything?" she asked.
-
-"No; I don't think I have."
-
-"Neither a religion, nor a work, nor a woman!" smiled Mrs. Mostyn. "You
-have always reminded me, Eustace, of that introspective Swiss gentleman
-of the journal. You are always seeking something to which you can give
-yourself unreservedly. But my sad little Clara, even if she would have
-meant something to you, came too early. She missed you by--how many
-years?--fifteen at least, Eustace; you were hardly more than a baby when
-that photograph was taken. But she may have had a daughter,--the
-daughter of the bohemian and the mondaine,--and you might find there an
-adventure of the heart."
-
-"Ah, I don't care about a daughter--or about an adventure."
-
-Mrs. Mostyn glanced at his absorbed, delicate face with a smile baffled
-and quizzical. She controlled, however, any humorous queries, and said
-presently:
-
-"Yes, I might try to find out. I might write to Mrs. Gaston; she knows
-Sir Molyneux Chanfrey, Clara's brother,--a man I never liked,--and she
-could ask him."
-
-"Pray do."
-
-"But I don't fancy Sir Molyneux is very easy to approach on the subject.
-He and his sister were never sympathetic."
-
-"I wish you would find out," Damier repeated.
-
-"I will, Eustace, and give you a letter of introduction to her if I ever
-find her," smiled Mrs. Mostyn.
-
-
-
-
-III
-
-
-EUSTACE DAMIER was susceptible and fastidious,
-idealistic and skeptical. He was not weak, for he rarely yielded to his
-impressions; but his strength, since nothing had come into his life that
-called for decisive action, was mainly negative. Perfection haunted him,
-and seen beside that inner standard, most experience was tawdry. He was
-quite incapable of loving what he had if he could not have what he
-loved. The vacancy had once been filled, but since his mother's, his
-sister's death, it had yawned, oppressive, unresponsive, about him. He
-was no cynic, but he was melancholy. He had gone through life
-alternating between ardor and despondency.
-
-He was amused now, amused and yet amazed, by the extraordinary
-impression that the old photograph had made upon him. More than once he
-had drawn back on the verge of a great passion,--drawn back he could
-hardly have said why,--feeling that the woman, or he himself, lacked
-something of the qualities that could make them lastingly need each
-other. And now it really seemed to him that he needed, and would need
-lastingly, this woman of thirty years ago; and surely she needed him.
-She called to him, and he answered. He understood her; he loved her.
-
-It was whimsical, absurd, pathetic. He could smile over it, yet under
-the smile some deeper self seemed to smile another smile--the smile of a
-mystery speaking at last in words that he could not understand, but in a
-voice that he could hear.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn had yielded the photograph to his determined
-claim,--laughing at his impudence,--and he kept it always beside him in
-the weeks that followed his departure from ----shire. During those
-weeks, that lengthened into months, no news came, and the eagerness of
-his feeling died away. The feeling was still there, but it was like an
-awakened and living memory of an old, dead love. He thought of her as
-dead; it was best so, for he could imagine with repulsion the
-degradation that a harried life in the slimier walks of bohemia might
-have wrought in her had she lived. The sense of half-humorous,
-half-tragic pathos remained with him. He smiled at the photograph every
-day. It represented just what a memory, deep and still, would have
-represented. It said to him, "We have found each other. Now we will
-never part." And absurdly, deliciously, he felt--with an instinct that
-fluttered wings high above any net of reason, singing, almost
-invisible--that what he had missed was waiting for him somewhere.
-
- * * * * *
-
-One day in late autumn, when he had returned to London, something
-happened which changed the character of this unsubstantial romance. He
-met at his club another old friend, a contemporary of Mrs. Mostyn's.
-Sir Henry Quarle was a writer of pleasant reminiscences, a garrulous and
-companionable man about town, who had kept careful pace with the times,
-who, indeed, flattered himself that he usually kept a step or two ahead
-of them: he was prophetic as well as reminiscent; had firm opinions and
-facile appreciations.
-
-He and Damier spoke of Mrs. Mostyn,--Sir Henry, too, had seen her
-recently,--of Paris, and of her connection with it. "And by the way,"
-said Sir Henry, "she told me that you were tremendously interested in
-what she told you about Madame Vicaud--Clara Chanfrey that was. Now I
-know a good deal about that unhappy history, and can, indeed, carry it
-on to a further chapter; the first did interest you?"
-
-"Tremendously," Damier assented, feeling, with a beating heart, that
-daylight was about to flood his mystic temple. "Is she alive?" he added.
-
-"That I don't know. But I saw the second chapter at close quarters. I
-went to Vicaud's studio one day. They had been married only a few
-years; she was a mere girl even then. I never saw such wretchedness."
-
-"In what way?" Damier's heart now beat with a strange self-reproach.
-
-"Oh--not describable. It was the evident hiding of misery that one felt
-most, the controlled fear in her face. She was lovelier than ever, but
-white, wasted, her delicate hands worn with work. The place was already
-poverty-stricken, but clean--grimly clean; I have no doubt she scrubbed
-the floor herself. Four or five artists were there--clever, well-known
-men, but not of the best type: the kind of men who wrote brutally
-realistic feuilletons for papers of the baser order, who painted
-pictures _pour epater le bourgeois;_ grossly materialistic, cynically
-skeptical of all that was not so. One felt that, though utterly alien to
-it by taste, she could have adapted herself, in a sense, to the best
-bohemianism. She was broadly intelligent; she would have recognized all
-that was fine, vital, inspiring in it, all that it implies of
-antagonism to the conformist, the bourgeois attitude. But the
-bohemianism of her husband and his comrades could only turn her to ice.
-It was strange to see her fear, and yet her strength, in these
-surroundings. They saw it, too; her chill gentleness, her inflexible
-face, cowed them, made them silly rather than vicious. Only, at that
-time, she had not cowed her husband; at all events, he seemed to take a
-pleasure in showing his mastery over her, his indifference to her
-attitude. He was a genius, with the face of a poet and the soul of a
-satyr. She had charmed him by her unusualness; he had determined to have
-her, to snatch her, the fine, delicate creature, from another world, as
-it were, and to make her part of his experience of life in very much the
-same sense as he would have tried a new kind of sin for the sake of its
-novelty. Then, too, he hoped, of course, for advancement, pecuniary and
-social; the disappointment of that hope must have roused the fiend in
-him. Of course he loved her--if one can turn the word to such base
-uses. What man would not have loved her? He loved her as he might have
-loved one of his mistresses; and I remember that on that day he
-dared--as perhaps he would not have dared had they been alone--to go to
-her before us all, fondle her cheek, and, putting his arm around her,
-kiss her. We all, I think, felt the ugly bravado of it, and I know that
-I never detested a man as I detested him at that moment. She sat
-motionless, expressionless. Only her eyes showed the terror of her
-helplessness, her despair."
-
-"Just heavens!" Damier exclaimed, after a silence filled for him with a
-bewildering aching and despair. "Why did she not leave him?"
-
-"Well," said Sir Henry, looking at the tip of his cigar, and crossing
-his knees for the greater comfort of impersonal reflection, "there was
-the child--they had a child, a girl; I never saw it; and there was her
-pride--she had been cast off by all her people; and there was his need
-of her. A few years after their marriage Vicaud took to absinthe, and
-drank himself half mad from time to time. Her conceptions of the duties
-of marriage, the sacredness of its bond, were, I am sure, very high;
-duty, pity, a hopeless loyalty, kept her to him, no doubt. What she went
-through no one, I suppose, can imagine.
-
-"I saw her once again; I was in Paris for a few days--it must have been
-more than ten years after that first meeting. I met her leading her
-husband in an _allee_ in the Bois. He was a wreck then, his talent gone,
-his noble face a pallid, bloated mask. He leaned on her arm, draped in
-his defiant black cloak. I sha'n't forget them as they walked under the
-October trees. She was changed, immensely changed. Her stately head was
-still beautiful, but with a beauty stony, frozen, as it were. There was
-no longer any touch of fear or softness. When she saw me she smiled with
-all her own gracious courtesy--but graciousness a little exaggerated;
-she had become, I saw, by long opposition to the life about her, almost
-too ineffably the lady. She had to keep, consciously, the perfume of
-life.
-
-"I walked on with them, and, perhaps as a result of my evident wish to
-see more of her, she asked me to go back to dinner with them. I did,
-realizing when I got to their apartment what it must have cost her to
-ask me, and what the pride must be that could do it and seem indifferent
-in the midst of that tawdry, poverty-stricken, vicious existence. Up
-flights of soiled and shabby stairs, in a mean house, to a miserable
-room--its bareness the best thing that could be said of it--at the top
-of the house, overlooking a squalid quarter of Paris. There was a harp
-in one corner, and Madame Vicaud, in answer to my inquiry about her
-music, said that she gave lessons. The young daughter was at school in
-England, and Vicaud's old mother lived with them, a spiteful,
-suspicious-looking bourgeoise with a handsome, flinty eye. Clara Vicaud
-gave her all the quiet deference that she would have given her had she
-been her equal. She had evidently forced from the old woman--forced by
-no effort, but by the mere compulsion of her own unflinching courtesy--a
-sullen respect. Her husband looked at her, spoke to her, with an odd
-mingling of resentment and dependence. He would say constantly, 'Que
-dis-tu, Claire?' But he talked, too, with the evident intention of
-putting her to shame before her English guest,--seeing how she bore
-it,--talked of gallant adventures, of the charms of various females of
-his acquaintance. She sat pale, mild, and cold. It was like seeing mud
-thrown at a statue of the Madonna.
-
-"When she and I talked together after the supper--one could hardly call
-the meal a dinner--she did not make an apologetic reference to the
-ribaldry we had listened to. She did not refer, either, to any of the
-friends she no longer knew. We spoke chiefly of her daughter, and of
-books. The daughter was evidently the one ray of light in her existence;
-she told me about her progress at school, her cleverness, her beauty.
-And next to her daughter, reading and music had been her great
-resources. I was surprised at her scholarship, at her familiarity with
-German philosophy, English poetry, Russian fiction, French and English
-literary and social criticism; indeed, on the subjects of social
-problems, of human suffering and the various remedies, economic and
-ethical, suggested for it, her knowledge was far deeper than my own. But
-in all our talk there was not a note of the personal, the confidential,
-the regretful; she might have been sitting in an environment absolutely
-her own. I never saw her again after that evening. When I was in Paris
-some years later I went to the house, and heard that Monsieur Vicaud and
-his mother had both died there, and that Madame Vicaud, after nursing
-them through their last illnesses, had gone. I have often wondered what
-became of her."
-
-Damier asked no further questions, and the talk drifted away from the
-subject of Madame Vicaud and her misfortunes. But that evening he wrote
-to Mrs. Mostyn, and asked her if she had not yet obtained for him some
-news of his lady of the photograph. The photograph had for him that
-night a new look; it still said, "I need you," but "I need you now. Help
-me." He was convinced that she lived.
-
-Mrs. Mostyn's reply came in a day, and inclosed a letter of introduction
-to Madame Vicaud, Rue B----, Paris. "Sir Molyneux knew nothing of his
-sister's whereabouts," Mrs. Mostyn wrote, "and it was from another
-source that I found out that Clara still lives, and at the inclosed
-address. Do find her, my Don Quixote, and I must make her come and visit
-me."
-
-The inclosed letter asked Madame Vicaud to recall an old friend, and to
-welcome Mr. Damier for her sake and his own. She had only recently had
-news of Madame Vicaud, and so was able, happily, to aid Mr. Damier in
-his great wish to make her acquaintance. She hoped, also, that she might
-see Madame Vicaud in England soon; would she not pay her a visit--a
-long one? It was a long letter, graceful, cordial, affectionate, a rope
-of flowers thrown to Damier for his guidance into the labyrinth.
-
-
-
-
-IV
-
-
-DAMIER, three days afterward, stood in his sitting-room
-in a Paris hotel, looking with a certain astonishment at the small sheet
-of notepaper he held, upon which was written in a firm, flowing hand--a
-hand that seemed, though so gracefully, to contradict any impression of
-a cry for help:
-
- DEAR MR. DAMIER: I shall be very glad to see you to-morrow
- afternoon at four. I well remember Mrs. Mostyn; to hear of her from
- a friend of hers will be a double pleasure.
-
- Yours sincerely,
-
- CLARA VICAUD.
-
-It was like the evocation of a ghost to see this reality, emerged
-suddenly out of the dream-world where, for so long, he had thought of
-her, the young girl leaning on the chair-back in her flowing dress of
-silk. She was alive, and he was to see her that afternoon. Damier felt a
-chill overtake his eagerness. Was he not about to shatter a charming
-experience--one of the sweetest, most tender, most dearly absurd of his
-life? Would he not find in the real, middle-aged Clara Vicaud a hard,
-uninteresting woman? He had a vision of stoutly corseted robustness in
-jetted black cashmere; of a curve of heavy throat under the chin; of
-cold eyes looking with wonder, with suspicion even, upon his romantic
-quest. He could almost have felt it in him to draw back at the eleventh
-hour were he not ashamed to face in himself such cowardice. He took out
-the photograph and looked at it, and the eyes of Clara Chanfrey seemed
-to smile at him with something of tender irony. "Do not be afraid of me;
-I will never disappoint you," they said. After all, what could the mere
-passage of years mean to such a face as that? What could the bitter
-experiences of a sorrowful life hold in them to tarnish ever the spirit
-that looked from it? The reluctance was only superficial, a ripple of
-reaction upon the deep tide of his impulse.
-
-At four that afternoon he drove to a long, narrow street near the
-Boulevard St. Germain--a street of large, bleak houses showing a sort of
-dismantled stateliness. At one of the largest, stateliest, bleakest of
-these the fiacre stopped, and Damier, after asking the way of a grimly
-respectable concierge with a small knitted shawl of black wool folded
-tightly about her shoulders, mounted a wide, uncarpeted stone staircase
-to the highest floor, feeling, as he stood outside the door, that,
-despite the long ascent, the thick beating of his heart was due more to
-emotional than to physical causes.
-
-He rang, and as he stood waiting he heard suddenly within a woman's
-voice singing. The voice was beautiful, and the song was Schumann's "Im
-wunderschoenen Monat Mai." Its pathos, its simplicity, its tenderness,
-mingled with Damier's almost tremulous mood, and pierced his very soul.
-It was like an awakening in Paradise; there was the remembered sadness
-of a long, long past; the strange, melancholy rapture of something
-dawning, something unknown and wonderful. Could any music more fitly
-usher in the coming meeting?
-
-A middle-aged servant came to the door, conventual in the demure quiet
-of her dress and demeanor, and ushered Damier into a bare and spacious
-room where the light from scantily curtained windows shone broadly
-across the polished floor. A woman rose and came forward from the piano.
-Damier's first impression, after the breathless moment in which he saw
-that it was not _she_, was one of dazzling beauty.
-
-"I am Mademoiselle Vicaud--Claire Vicaud," this young woman said, "and
-you are Mr. Damier. My mother is expecting you; she will be here
-directly."
-
-Perhaps he felt, as she smiled gravely upon him, it was the power in her
-face, rather than its beauty, that had dazzled him. Already he
-discovered something almost repellent in its enchantment. Her eyes were
-dark, with a still, an impenetrable darkness; a small mole emphasized
-the scarlet curve of her upper lip; the lines of cheek and brow were
-wonderfully beautiful. It was, indefinably, in the soft spreading of the
-nostrils, in the deeply sunk corners of the mouth, that one felt a
-plebeian touch. There was nothing, however, of this quality in the
-carriage of her head, with its heavy tiara of dark-red hair, nor in the
-dignity and grace of her figure; and nothing in her, except some vague
-suggestion in this grace and dignity, reminded him of the photograph;
-and he was at once deeply glad of this, glad that Mademoiselle Vicaud
-resembled her father--he felt sure she did--and not her mother.
-
-She seated herself, indicating to him a chair near her, and observed him
-with the same grave smile, and in an unembarrassed silence, while he
-spoke of his pleasure at being in Paris, at finding them there. Damier
-himself was not unembarrassed; found it difficult to talk trivialities
-to this Hebe while thrilling with expectation; and Mademoiselle Vicaud,
-unable otherwise to interpret it, may well have seen in her own radiant
-apparition the cause of his slight disturbance.
-
-"But you are not old," she said to him.
-
-"Did you expect that?" he inquired.
-
-"Then you are not a friend of Mamma's--a friend of her youth, I mean? I
-don't think that she was quite sure who you were."
-
-"It is only through an old friend of hers that--I hope to become
-another," Damier finished, smiling.
-
-"Well, _pour commencer_, you may be our young friend--we have time, you
-and I, before we need think of being old ones. I get tired of old
-things, myself."
-
-"Even of old friends?" Damier asked, amused at her air of placid
-familiarity.
-
-"Ah, that depends."
-
-He observed that Mademoiselle Vicaud, though speaking English with
-fluent ease, had in her voice and manner some most un-English qualities.
-Her voice was soft, deep, and a little guttural. She had a way, he
-noticed later on, of saying "Ah" when one talked to her, a placid little
-ejaculation that was curiously characteristic and curiously foreign.
-
-But at the moment further observations were arrested. The door opened,
-and rising, as a swift footfall entered the room, Damier found himself
-face to face with his lady of the photograph.
-
-He blushed. His emotion showed itself very evidently on his handsome,
-sensitive face, so evidently that the strangeness of the meeting made
-itself felt as a palpable atmosphere, and made conventional greetings an
-effort and something of an absurdity. Madame Vicaud, however, dared the
-absurdity, and so successfully that the formal sweetness of her smile,
-the vague geniality of her voice, as she said right things to him,
-seemed effortless. Damier, through all the tumult of his hurrying
-impressions, comparisons, wonders, yet found time to feel that she was a
-woman who could make many efforts and seem to make none. Her manner
-slid past the stress of the moment; her wonder, if she felt any, was not
-visible. All that she showed to her sudden visitor, introducing himself
-through a past that must have been long dead to her, was the smile, the
-geniality, vague and formal, of the woman of the world.
-
-By contrast to this atmosphere of rule and reticence, the few words he
-had exchanged with the daughter seemed suddenly intimate--seemed to make
-a bond where the mother's made a barrier. But above all barriers, all
-reticences, was the one fact--the wonderful fact--that she was she,
-changed so much, yet so much the same that the change was only a
-deepening, a subtilizing of her charm.
-
-"Yes, I remember Mrs. Mostyn so well," said Madame Vicaud, "and it is
-many years ago now. She must be old. Does she look old? Is she well?
-Will she come to Paris one day, do you think? Ah, as for my going to
-England to see her, that is a great temptation, a sufficient one were
-the possibility only as great. My daughter has been much in England; she
-really, now, knows it better than I do."
-
-Mademoiselle Vicaud did not meet her mother's glance as it rested upon
-her; her eyes were fixed, with their dark placidity, upon Damier, as she
-sat sidewise in her chair, her hands--they were large, white,
-beautifully formed--loosely interlaced on the chair-back.
-
-"Yes; I know England well," she said--"educational England. I went to
-school there. I associate England with all that is formative and
-improving; I have been run through the mold so many times."
-
-"Run through?" Damier asked, smiling. "Have you never taken the form,
-then?" He was not interested in Mademoiselle Vicaud, although he felt
-intimate with her; but her mother's glance brought her between them,
-placed her there; one was forced to look at her and to talk to her.
-
-"Do you think I have?" Mademoiselle Vicaud asked, with her smile, that
-was not gay, a slumberous, indulgent smile. "I hope not," she added,
-"physically, at least. I don't like your English outline, as far as that
-is concerned." Damier could but observe that hers was not English. She
-was supple, curved--slender, yet robust; one saw her soft breathing; her
-waist bent with a lovely flexibility. But the contemplation of these
-facts, to which she seemed, with the indifference of perfect assurance,
-to draw his attention, emphasized that sense of intimacy in a way that
-rather irritated him; Mademoiselle Vicaud, her outline and her exquisite
-gowning of it, slightly jarred upon him. He hardly knew how to word his
-appreciation of her difference, and after saying that he was glad she
-had escaped the more unbecoming influences of his country, added: "I
-hope that there were some things you cared to adopt."
-
-"They adopted me. I was quite passive, quite fluid," said Mademoiselle
-Vicaud.
-
-Her mother, while they interchanged these slight pleasantries, continued
-to look at her daughter.
-
-"You rather exaggerate, do you not, Claire, the coercive nature of your
-English experience?" she said. "It was not all school; there was play,
-too."
-
-"Play like the kindergarten kind, with a meaning in it. My mother has
-always been anxious for me to take the right impressions," said
-Mademoiselle Vicaud, her eyes still on Damier; "she has always chosen
-them for me."
-
-There was a momentary silence after this--a silence that might, Damier
-fancied, have held something of irritation for the mother, though none
-showed itself in the calm intelligence of her glance as it rested on her
-daughter.
-
-Looking from her before the pause could become significant of anything
-like argument or antagonism, she asked Damier for how long he expected
-to remain in Paris, and the talk floated easily into cheerful and
-familiar channels--concerts, the play, books, and pictures.
-
-She was so much more like the photograph than he had expected, and yet
-so different! The figure was the same, almost girlish, more girlish,
-really, than Mademoiselle Claire's, though the fall in the line of her
-shoulders, the erect poise with which she sat, recalled a girlishness of
-another epoch, another tradition.
-
-There was that in the folds of her long silk skirt,--a worn, shining
-silk, yet in its antiquity replete with elegance,--in the position of
-her narrow foot pointing from beneath its folds, in the way she lightly
-folded her arms while she talked to him, that suggested deportment, a
-manner trained, and as much a part of her as putting on her shoes was.
-She was very mannered and very unaffected; the manner was like the
-graceful garment of her perfect ease and naturalness--their protection,
-perhaps, and their ornament. As for her face, Damier, looking at it
-while they talked, felt its enchantment growing on him, like the gradual
-tuning of exquisite instruments preparing him for perfect music. Still,
-the face of the photograph, so unchanged that it was startling to feel
-how much older it was. The abundant hair was dressed in the same
-fashion, but its black was now of an odd grayness that made one just
-aware that it was no longer black. The heart-shaped oval was emphasized;
-the cheeks were thin, the chin sharply delicate, the lips compressed
-when she did not smile--but she frequently smiled--into a line of
-endurance, of a patience almost bitter. There were tones of pale mauve
-in the faint roses of her lips and cheeks, but Damier felt that this
-charming tint must always have been theirs--went with the snow and ebony
-of her type. Although her face was little lined,--emotion with her had
-been repressed, not demonstrated,--it had a look more aging than
-lines--a look of bleakness, of a cold impassivity. The texture of her
-skin was like a white rose-petal just fading. And in this faded
-whiteness her dark eyes gazed, more stern, more tragic than in youth.
-There was in them, and in the straight line of her black brows above
-them, a somberness and almost a menace. Damier wondered over the strange
-contrast to her frequent smile. He saw that where Mademoiselle Vicaud
-was still and grave her mother was light and gay, but the gaiety and
-lightness--he traced the impression further--were part of the manner,
-the protecting, ornamental manner; were something that had once been
-real, and were now put on, like her shoes, again. The daughter showed
-herself, or seemed to show herself, imperturbably: the mother was
-hidden, masked; her eyes, with their contrasting smile, made him think
-of Tragedy glancing among garlands of roses.
-
-Before he went, that day, Damier told Madame Vicaud that his stay in
-Paris was to be indefinite; had even let her see, if she wished to, that
-she counted among his reasons for staying. He was sure that he was to go
-far, but he knew that he must go with discretion. One thing discretion
-evidently required of him--to include Mademoiselle Claire with her
-mother; her mother constantly included her. It was necessary to invite
-them both to drive in the Bois next day. It was then that he learned
-that Madame Vicaud and her daughter both gave lessons, mademoiselle in
-singing,--she had studied with the best masters,--madame in the harp and
-piano. Damier cast a glance upon the harp; the same, no doubt. Hours of
-engagements had to be consulted. They could both, however, be free next
-day at four.
-
-
-
-
-V
-
-
-DAMIER was able, while waiting for them in the salon on
-the following day, to see more clearly Madame Vicaud's environment, now
-that it was empty of her. It was one of work, poverty, and refinement.
-Books lined one side of the walls; the furniture was of the scantiest,
-simplest description; a row of old prints--after Sir Joshua and
-Gainsborough, some of them very good--were hung straightly above the
-simple writing-table; on this table stood a small pot of pink flowers,
-and on a large table near the center of the room were books, reviews,
-and a work-box; the harp and the grand piano dominated the room. The
-high windows did not overlook the street, but the branches, flecked
-still with gold and russet autumn leaves, of an old garden. Turning
-from this outlook, Damier found his attention fixed by a large
-photograph that occupied a prominent place in a black frame upon a
-sedate cabinet near the window. It was the photograph of a man--of
-Monsieur Vicaud, Damier knew at once. He gazed long at the face, still
-young, yet showing already touches of decay and degradation in the
-poetry and beauty of its youth. Without these touches--of presage more
-than actuality--it might have been the face of a Paolo, with tossed-back
-hair and superb, unfettered throat. Monsieur Vicaud had evidently been
-one of the few men whom a Byronic disarray becomes. Damier saw in the
-face the enchantment that had deluded Clara Chanfrey, and hints of the
-horror that had wrecked all enchantment. The longer one looked at the
-ardent, dreamy eyes, the perfect lips,--helpless, as it were, before
-one, and unable in charm of change to divert one's attention from their
-essential meaning,--the more one felt cruel selfishness, hard
-indifference, and lurking evil. Instinctively he turned and walked away
-from Monsieur Vicaud as he heard footsteps outside.
-
-When the mother and daughter came in together, he could infer, even more
-clearly than from the bareness of the salon, from Madame Vicaud's shabby
-furs and unfashionable wrap, that life, to be kept up at all with
-niceness and finish, must be something of a struggle for them; yet, with
-her small black bonnet, which she was tying with black gauze ribbons
-beneath her chin, her neat gloves, the poise of her shoulders, and her
-swift, light step, she was still unmistakably _une elegante_. It was
-natural, he supposed,--though feeling some resentment at such
-naturalness,--that the struggle should be the mother's mainly; the law
-of maternal self-sacrifice perhaps demanded it. Claire was charmingly
-dressed, simply, and with a Parisienne's unerring sense of harmony and
-fitness. She was neither shabby nor unfashionable; the fashion, too,
-expressed her, not itself.
-
-After all, she still, though she was no longer _une toute jeune
-fille_,--she must be twenty-seven,--had her life before her, and her
-achievement of pretty clothes could hardly be imputed as blame to her.
-
-The early November afternoon in the Bois was misty, with sunlight in the
-mist; the air was mild. Madame Vicaud's dark eyes looked down the long
-vistas, seeing, perhaps, other figures in them, other pictures. Damier
-and Mademoiselle Vicaud talked of Italy. She had never been there, but
-she questioned him about Florence and Rome, and Madame Vicaud asked him
-if he had heard much of the old church music; and the music had been his
-greatest enjoyment. Madame Vicaud was fond of Palestrina, she said; but
-she said little of the fondness, and only listened with a half-detached,
-half-assenting smile while Claire and the young man went on from Gluck
-to Wagner. Mademoiselle Vicaud was full of admiration--though her
-admirations were always unemphatic--for the latter; but Madame Vicaud,
-though retaining, evidently, no lurking survivals of taste for the
-operatic music of her youth, would own only to a tempered liking for the
-great opera-master. She mused lightly over Damier's demand for her
-preferences, and inclined to think that opera never meant much to her;
-it was a form of art that offended her taste almost inevitably; its
-appeal to the eye could so rarely justify itself, and the music, of
-course, was restricted by its being pinned down to definite descriptive
-themes.
-
-Claire hummed out, in a melancholy, emotional contralto, a phrase from
-"Tristan." "I can't sing him--none of our French throats can; but he
-fills me, sweeps me up; that is all I ask of music. Mamma likes music to
-lift her; I like it to carry me away." Among the deep, almost purple
-reds of her hair, the tawny luster of her coiling furs, her cheeks, in
-the keen, fresh air, glowed dimly. "No, I could not sing Wagner," she
-sighed; "but I could sing. I am an _artiste manquee_; the one, perhaps,
-for being my father's daughter, the other for being my mother's. She
-would rather have me teach--try to force a little of my own energy and
-feeling into dough-like souls--than have me sing in public."
-Mademoiselle Vicaud's smile had no rancor as she made these statements,
-and her mother's distant gaze showed no change, nor did she speak.
-
-"It is a hard and a rather tawdry life, that of an opera-singer," said
-Damier; "and, I fancy, almost an impossible one in Paris."
-
-"Ah, but I am tawdry," Claire observed. If antagonism there had ever
-been on this subject, it had evidently long since left behind it the
-stage of discussion. Claire made no appeal or protest--merely stated
-facts.
-
-"You see," she went on, very much as if she and Damier were alone
-together, "if it were not for that artist nature, Mamma would not,
-perhaps, mind so much. It is because I am not--what shall we call
-it?--respectable? _hein_?--well, that will serve--that she dreads such
-tests for me."
-
-Damier now saw that, though Madame Vicaud's silence kept all its calm,
-she very slightly flushed. He felt in her a something, proud and
-shrinking, that steeled itself to hear the jarring note of her
-daughter's jest; and was it a jest? Again the contrast in the two faces
-struck him, this time with something of fundamental alienation in the
-contrast. It occupied his mind after Madame Vicaud, very unemphatically,
-not at all as if she felt that it needed turning, took the lead of the
-conversation, and while Claire, leaning back in her corner, listened
-with, when she was particularly addressed, her indolent "Ah!" It was,
-indeed, like going from one world to another to look from her mother's
-face to hers. Already he felt for her a mingling of irritation and pity
-that was to grow as he knew her better.
-
-How strangely she was tainted with something really almost _canaille_;
-the soft depth of her voice reeked with it. And how strangely blind must
-the affection of the mother be that could bridge the chasm that
-separated her from her daughter, unconscious--her evident devotion to
-her proved that--of its very existence.
-
-
-
-
-VI
-
-
-MADAME and Mademoiselle Vicaud were at home on Tuesdays,
-and Damier felt that he would always receive a courteously cordial
-welcome on these formal occasions; but he felt, too, for some weeks,
-that the courtesy, the pleasant graciousness of his reception, did not
-grow in warmth. He was accepted, but no more. Madame Vicaud treated him
-as she might have treated him had he been but one habitue of a crowded
-salon. Her salon was anything but crowded; he soon had numbered its
-habitues. There was a monotony about these Tuesday reunions; they were
-rather thin and colorless; thin only in quantity, not in quality, for
-that was excellent--reminded him of Madame Vicaud's black silk dresses
-with their white lawn cuffs and collars, a quality worn but
-irreproachable. Damier came to find a flavor, an unusualness, in the
-cool cheerfulness of the Tuesday teas.
-
-The salon in the Rue B---- on these occasions had some vases of flowers,
-and the tea, brought in by the monastic Angelique, boasted bread and
-butter and _madeleines_ as well as the daily _petits beurres_ that
-Damier had been offered on a more informal visit.
-
-To the teas came old Madame Depressier, who was of an impoverished
-Huguenot family, and who spent her time in works of charity, a serene
-woman with a large white face--a woman, Damier found on talking to her,
-of character and learning. She and Madame Vicaud talked of books,
-lectures, and poor people, and smiled much together. Madame Crecy came
-also, dignified, middle-aged, interested in _le mouvement feministe_, a
-writer of essays, dark, decisive, a charm in her bright ugliness. There
-was a dim, devout, and gentle old Comtesse de Comprailles. She had
-known Madame Vicaud for years, from before her marriage, and her piety
-had lifted her above the realization of the secular troubles of her
-friend, and had, indeed, kept their relation a softly superficial one.
-With the comtesse came sometimes a tall, thin priest, her cousin, also
-dim, devout, and gentle in these social relations with heretics.
-
-There was a young Polish art-student, a girl with a thin, ardent face,
-and an attire manlike from its deficiency of adornment rather than from
-any pose. She wore very short cloth skirts,--shortened by several years
-of wear and mending, our acutely sympathetic young man guessed,--a
-knotted handkerchief around her throat, and a soft felt hat. To this
-young woman, who, Damier heard, had great talent and was miserably poor,
-Madame Vicaud showed a peculiar tenderness. Sophie Labrinska had a look
-at once weary and keen. She seldom spoke, but her face lighted up with a
-smile for her hostess, and on Tuesdays she always played to them--and
-played with an ungirl-like mastery and beauty of interpretation--a
-ballade, nocturne, or mazurka of Chopin.
-
-Lady Vibert and her daughter came too. They lived in a tiny flat near
-the Bois, finding poverty in Paris more genial and resourceful than in
-England. Miss Vibert, a fresh-colored young woman with prominent teeth,
-studied art also, and for years had gone daily to a studio from which,
-each week, she brought back to the tiny flat a life-size torso, very
-neatly painted. She and her mother were cheerful, eager people, taking
-their Paris, their _abonnement_ at the Theatre Francais,--a rite they
-religiously fulfilled,--their bi-weekly lecture at the Ecole de France,
-with a pleasant seriousness. Madame Vicaud lifted her eyebrows and
-smiled a little, though very kindly, over Miss Vibert's artistic
-progress; but she was fond of her.
-
-As for Claire, she showed little fondness, with one exception, for any
-of her mother's guests. Miss Vibert talked to her in clear, high tones,
-but Claire spoke little to her, and only answered with her most
-slumberous smiles. For Sophie she had neither smiles nor words. She
-ignored her--but not with an effect of intentional ignoring; it was
-merely that the little Polish girl made no advances, and unless she were
-advanced to, Claire, in her mother's salon, maintained an air of
-indolent detachment--except for one member of it, the only one who could
-be said to recall, definitely, what there was of bohemia in Madame
-Vicaud's past. Monsieur Claude Daunay did no more than recall it, for
-his bohemianism was of a most tempered quality, consisting in a kindly
-indifference to smallnesses, a half-humorous choice of the
-unconventional rather than an ignorant imprisonment in it. He was a man
-of about fifty, and his massive gray head, Jovian hair and beard, his
-kindly, wearied eyes and stooping yet stalwart figure, made him a
-distinguished apparition at Madame Vicaud's teas. She placed him,
-sketched him for Damier in a few words, the most open that her reserve
-had yet allowed her, and it was then only after a good many Tuesdays:
-"He knew my husband, and was very kind to him, and to me, when we were
-in need of kindness. He has no genius,--he, too, is a painter, you
-know,--but a vast appreciation, and a vast generosity in the expression
-of it, and much distinction of mind and talent."
-
-Monsieur Daunay was married, but his marriage was an unfortunate one.
-Madame Daunay had been the reverse of a model wife; she lived, an
-invalid, a life of retirement in the country, and was supposed to make
-much bitterness in the existence of her husband, who had his home with a
-_vieille fille_ cousin in Paris. Damier liked the scholarly artist, his
-mild smile and air of weary unexpectancy.
-
-It was with Monsieur Daunay that Claire was her most vivid self, with
-him and with their new "young" friend--though, when Monsieur Daunay was
-present, Damier's relegation to the background bespoke an excellent
-loyalty to older ties. There was something very nearly filial in her
-graceful and affectionate solicitude for Monsieur Daunay. She would
-sweep, in trailing gowns, always a little over-perfumed,--it was the
-point where her taste seemed to fail her,--and always late, into the
-salon, and, if Monsieur Daunay were there, go at once to him after a
-formal acknowledgment of the other presences in the room. She did not
-talk much with him,--she talked more to Damier,--but while he talked to
-her she smiled at him, an encouraging, responsive smile.
-
-Monsieur Daunay spoke to Damier of Madame Vicaud as _une ame exquise_,
-and of Claire as _une charmante enfant_, a term emphasizing his almost
-paternal attitude, an emphasis made more noticeable by his more formal
-relations with the mother. Damier saw that he was very fond of Claire,
-but that between him and Madame Vicaud there were no bonds closer than
-a courteous understanding and regard. On Tuesday, after tea and talk,
-music would be brought out, candles lighted at the piano, Claire would
-sing while Monsieur Daunay accompanied her on the piano or her mother on
-the harp, Sophie would play her Polish music, and Monsieur Daunay and
-Madame Vicaud give a solo each or a duet. There was not a trace of the
-amateur in these performances; the pleasure was great, and, for Damier,
-the charm too deep for analysis, in this listening with her, or to her,
-in the quiet room, among these quiet, subdued, rather sad people.
-
-He was still, in a sense, outside the barrier, but they all were, he
-fancied, in the sense he meant. These Tuesdays were the nearest, really,
-that any of them ever came to her. Yet they were more definitely
-accepted as friends: he was still the onlooker.
-
-It was only humorously that he resented his slow advance to a more
-individual standing. He could hardly himself measure it; and yet he
-felt that he was being observed, weighed, thought over, and, almost
-imperceptibly, that her smile for him gained in meaning.
-
-
-
-
-VII
-
-
-IT was through a book they spoke of, a book which he
-said he would bring to her, that they came at last face to face, and,
-for the first time really, alone together. He found her in the firelit
-room; her last pupil had gone, and she was sitting before her harp, her
-hands in her lap, her eyes looking vaguely in front of her. There had
-been a fall of snow, and the chill February afternoon outside was
-desolate in its white and gray and black. Within there was the serenity,
-the flicker of firelight, Madame Vicaud, and her silent harp.
-
-She turned her head with her smile of welcome, and, as he drew a chair
-near hers, lightly touched a harp-string. The throb of the vibrant note
-echoed in the young man's heart. For the first time, after a winter of
-patient waiting, he was alone with his mystery, alone with the woman he
-adored; for that he adored this cold, sweet, faded woman, with her
-fragrant life blossoming on its black background, was as much a fact of
-his existence as that he had seen her photograph on that distant sunny
-day.
-
-"My work is over," she said. "I am feeling indolent. Ah, you have
-brought the book; thank you. Will you read it now to me--a little?" She
-leaned back, smiling still; her eyes, he felt, studying him more openly,
-yet more kindly, than ever before. "Will you ring for the candles then,
-or would you rather sit on for a little while in this blindman's
-holiday?"
-
-"I would rather sit on, and have you play to me, if you are not too
-tired."
-
-"I am tired of teaching--of listening, not of playing." She at once
-adjusted her foot, stretched her arms, bending to the instrument, and
-played an old and plaintive melody.
-
-"Exquisite," said Damier, when it ended. "It is so staid in form, yet so
-melancholy in feeling."
-
-"Yes; like the melancholy of a sad heart, whispering its sorrow to
-itself under the lace and brocade of a long-dead epoch." She went on to
-a joyous little pastoral, and said, smiling at him, that that was like a
-bank of primroses; and, after the next, "And that all innocent solemnity
-and sweetness, like a nun's prayer." And when she had finished they sat
-in silence for some time.
-
-"Have you always played?" he asked her at last, seeing her suddenly as a
-young girl in a white dress, with a green ribbon around her waist, an
-emerald locket at her throat, sitting at her harp.
-
-"Always; I learned when I was a child." The unspoken sadness of the past
-seemed to steal about them; he seemed to hear the "sad heart whispering
-to itself" as they sat there in the firelight.
-
-"I have often thought," Madame Vicaud said, turning suddenly toward him
-and smiling with a touch of constraint, "that it was very nice of you to
-seek us out like this. I have often wanted to speak to you about it. For
-it was you rather than Mrs. Mostyn who sought, was it not? What made you
-think of it?" she asked, her smile growing in sweetness as his eyes
-dwelt on hers.
-
-"It was a very romantic reason," Damier said; "or, no, I won't belittle
-my reason by that trivial term; it was a very serious reason, rather, a
-very real one. I saw your photograph in an album belonging to Mrs.
-Mostyn, and then I wanted to see you."
-
-She looked at him in silence.
-
-"How very strange!" she presently said. "Wanted enough for that?"
-
-"To seek you? Quite enough; more." He smiled. "Yes, it was strange--is
-strange. I did not know whether you were alive or dead, nor did Mrs.
-Mostyn."
-
-"And you set out in quest of me?"
-
-"Yes, after a time. At first Mrs. Mostyn could hear nothing of you. I
-met another old acquaintance of yours--Sir Henry Quarle. He talked to
-me about you, too, and immediately afterward I got your address from
-Mrs. Mostyn and her letter to you. Then I set out at once."
-
-Madame Vicaud looked at him with a grave, speculating look for some
-silent moments, before saying, turning her eyes away and once more
-showing constraint in her voice:
-
-"You heard that I had been unfortunate--unhappy? You were sorry for
-that?"
-
-"Yes; but had you been very fortunate, very happy, I should still have
-looked for you."
-
-"But why? Did you like my face so much?"
-
-"So much. I felt that I should have known you long ago, and that, having
-missed you for so long through the stupid accident of the years, I must
-know you always in the future. I should have felt it had you been dead."
-His charming eyes dwelling on her with a perfect candor and simplicity,
-for it was easy at last to speak these familiar thoughts to her, he
-added: "I needed you; I had always needed you. And so, it seemed to me,
-you needed me; your eyes in the photograph called to me."
-
-At this she looked swiftly at him with an astonishment that slowly
-softened to a smile. "You are a strange, a good friend," she said.
-
-"You accept me as such?"
-
-"Ah, yes," she replied, "I accept you as such--gratefully. I don't call
-you. Those days are over."
-
-She rose, pushing the harp aside, and walked slowly down the room,
-pausing at the window and looking out. He divined that she was much
-touched, even that there were tears in her eyes. He feared to show her
-the depths of his feeling for her, his longing to enter her life, help
-her, if it might be, in it; but, rising too, he said in a slightly
-trembling voice: "You don't need my friendship, but I need yours. Let
-that be my claim."
-
-"Your claim to what?" she asked, her face still turned from him.
-
-"To the hope that I may grow into your confidence--the hope that you
-will lean on me, trust me completely, and that, with time, I may,
-perhaps, mean something to you of what you mean to me."
-
-Her face now, as she looked at him, showed a curious, a vivid look of
-wonder, humor, tenderness, and sadness.
-
-"What am I, that I should mean so much to you? You don't know me."
-
-"Is that your kind way of intimating that I can mean nothing to
-you--that you don't know me?" he smiled.
-
-"Ah, don't think that I am so hard and stupid!" she said quickly. "Don't
-think that I am fencing with you, trying to ward off a friendship I
-can't appreciate. Don't think that I have no need of a friend. I have; I
-have--only I had forgotten to feel it. I do not say that I have no
-friends; you know that I have, and good ones--only you do not wish to
-rank with them. Isn't it so?" She smiled swiftly, from her gravity, at
-him. "There is good Madame Depressier, and the comtesse, and little
-Sophie,--who needs me, poor child, in her struggle and loneliness,--and
-the others, true and good all; but none near. You would be near,--would
-you not?--and have me share pain with you--lean on you, you say." His
-fine young face, stern with eagerness, followed her words in silent
-assent. "But it would be difficult for me to have such a friend. I have
-never had such a friend. It is difficult, painful to me to show myself,
-be myself. I am a hard, I fear a spoiled, stunted nature. You heard--of
-course you must have heard; it is the one thing that anybody must hear
-who hears at all of me--that my marriage was very unhappy. It warped me;
-it froze me. There was no one to help me when I needed help, or to hear
-me, even had I not been too proud to call, and I lost the power of
-appeal or self-expression. If I had been gentler, less bitter in my
-despair, less rebellious, I might have kept more in touch with life,
-been more natural, more responsive. As it is, I can still feel--deeply,
-deeply; but it is hard for me to respond. I am old enough to be your
-mother. No? Well, almost." She smiled slightly at his exactitude. "I am
-very different from the girl in the photograph whose eyes called to
-you--prophetic eyes they must have been! You must not expect fine things
-of me; you must not idealize me." She put her hand gently, maternally on
-his shoulder. "Never idealize me. That is a dangerous--a terrible thing
-to do."
-
-"Can you look at me," he asked, putting his hand on hers--"can you look
-at me and think that I could idealize you?--see you as anything else
-than you are? Don't you feel that, indeed, I can see you much more
-clearly than you see yourself--the girl in the photograph, and the woman
-old enough, almost old enough, to be my mother? You are shut into your
-present. I see you in it--and in all your past."
-
-She stood looking gravely into his eyes as he looked into hers. In hers
-there was--not seen by him and hardly felt by herself--a swiftly
-passing, an immense regret, an immense sadness. It was like the sweeping
-shadow of a flying wing, and left only the limpidity of sweetest, most
-candid acquiescence. In his eyes, too, there was regret--passionate
-regret; and he felt it, and felt that she could not understand or read
-it, nor the vague, strong hope that so strangely informed it.
-
-"So I have a friend, a new yet an old friend," said Madame Vicaud. "You
-perplex me, but I believe in all you say. You give me great happiness."
-
-He lifted the hand under his and bent his lips to it. She looked down at
-his bowed head with a smile that was a benediction.
-
-On that first day of their friendship, as they sat together, she again
-before her harp, it was, oddly, he who leaned and confided. Almost
-boyishly, under her comprehending eyes, he unfolded for her his life,
-its deepest efforts and its deepest disappointments. Madame Vicaud,
-while he talked and she questioned, drew her fingers softly, from time
-to time, across her harp-strings. He never forgot the hour, nor the
-sense of communion that the silvery ripple of the harp-strings made
-paradisiacal.
-
-"And will you not marry? Have you not thought of marrying?" she asked.
-
-He considered her with what he knew to be a whimsical smile at her
-unconsciousness.
-
-"I have been too great a coward ever to get further than thinking of it.
-My love-affairs have rarely passed the speculative stage. My ideals of
-marriage are of a most exacting nature."
-
-"Ah, that is well," she said. "Never lower them to fit some reality
-that, for the moment, appeals. I hope," she added, "that you will some
-day find the woman who realizes them."
-
-No, the silly accident oi the years too much blinded her, Damier felt,
-for her to see, yet, that she was the woman. He himself was too much
-dazzled to see beyond the fact itself. Any question of love or marriage
-seemed irrelevant, did not enter at all into this wonderful and happy
-place where her harp rippled, her eyes smiled, where she understood that
-he had found her.
-
-
-
-
-VIII
-
-
-AFTER this there was no more the feeling of a barrier.
-It was gone; and with perfect graciousness and trust she admitted him to
-the personal standing and nearness he had asked for. She was all
-confidence now, although she made no confidences. He felt that her trust
-in him hid nothing from him, and yet that her pride made her past
-sorrows so poignantly intimate that they must be understood between her
-friend and herself, not spoken of.
-
-The nearer intimacy with the mother did not bring Damier into nearer
-intimacy with the daughter, for the simple reason that he was already so
-intimate. From the first Damier had felt that he understood Claire
-Vicaud. He could not yet clearly define what he understood, but she
-could have no revelations for him. Her father explained her, and her
-mother reclaimed her. That was her history, and he imagined that neither
-she nor her mother was aware of the history, but the mother less than
-she. Indeed, he fancied, at times, that he saw her far more clearly than
-did the mother--hoped that the mother had not his direct vision.
-
-He was rather fond of Claire, with a fondness tolerant, humorous, and
-pitying. What he saw in her were thwarted energies, well thwarted, yet
-pathetic in their enforced composure; he saw voiceless rebellion, and
-the dumb discomfort of a creature reared in an environment not its own.
-This simile might have cast a reproach upon the mother had it conjured
-up the vision of an unkindly caged pantheress; but the simile so seen
-was too poetical for Claire. It was not the wild, fine, free thing of
-nature that circumstance had caged, but the product of over-civilized
-senses--senses only, and corrupt senses. There was the point that made
-her piteous and repellent.
-
-Claire's claim on life was not a high one. Hers was not even an esthetic
-fastidiousness of sense nor a romantic coloring of emotion; there was
-nothing delicate or warm or eager about her. Her wishes were not
-yearnings; they were steadfast inclinations toward all the evident, the
-palpable, perhaps the baser pleasures of life, pleasures that would most
-certainly have been hers had not fate--in the shape of a mother to whom
-these pleasures were non-existent rather than despicable--lifted her
-above the possible grasp at them: jewels, clothes, magnificent
-establishments, riotous living. She was cold, but she would welcome
-passively the warmth of admiration about her. She had not her father's
-genius to transmute the tawdry cravings of her inheritance from him. She
-had his quick, clear intelligence, and it seemed only to make harder,
-more decisive, her centering in self.
-
-Damier could see her as the painted prima donna (never as the sincere
-and serious artist), bowing her languorous triumph before the curtain;
-could see her laughing in ugly mirth at Gallic jests among a crowd of
-clever _rapins_; could horribly image her--most horribly when one
-remembered who was her mother--rolling in a lightly swung carriage down
-the Avenue des Acacias, a modern Cleopatra in her barge, alluring in
-indifference under her parasol, and dressed with the consummate and
-conscious art that does not flower in the sound soil of respectability.
-These were, indeed, horrid thoughts, and as absurd as horrid when the
-mother stood beside them. Even to think them seemed to put a dagger into
-a heart already many times stabbed. Yet separate mother and
-daughter,--it was ominously easy so to separate them,--and nothing in
-Claire reproached and contradicted such images. Inevitably they arose,
-and, as inevitably, the companion picture of the mother, like a
-transfixed Mater Dolorosa.
-
-To the mother he felt that in giving interest and attention to Claire
-he rendered a service more grateful to her than any homage. He proposed
-that he should take Claire for walks sometimes, and he felt something of
-the staidness of the girl's upbringing in Madame Vicaud's acquiescence,
-in its implied trust--a trust that waived a custom in his favor. It
-expressed the mother's attitude against all that was lax or undignified
-in life. Claire could go with him, their friend, but, Claire told him
-with a light laugh, she seldom went out alone. "Only sometimes with
-Monsieur Daunay--but he is like a father, almost; and to the
-dressmaker's; and almost always Mamma is with me--we are such
-companions, you know." Damier could not quite determine as to possible
-irony in her placid tones. He looked upon these walks with Claire--they
-would cross the Seine, looking up at Carpeaux's jocund group on the
-Pavillon de Flore, and pace sedately in the Tuileries Gardens or up the
-Champs-Elysees--as expressions of his identification of himself with
-Madame Vicaud's interests, for he always felt that it pleased her that
-he should ask Claire to go; yet, after each one of them, he could not
-defend himself from the strange sensation that he had been in an
-atmosphere disloyal to his friend. The atmosphere was so different, yet
-so subtly different, when Claire was alone with him, or with him and her
-mother. So subtle was the difference that any remonstrance on his part
-might constitute a stupid rebuff to her unconsciousness; yet so
-different were her tones, her look, her laugh, so different the quality
-of her frankness, its _gaillardise_, as it were, and its familiarity,
-almost insolent in its assurance--so different were all these that he
-could hardly believe her unconscious of the change. He did understand
-her; that was the trouble: for she acted as if he did, and as if all
-pretenses were unnecessary between them, and free breathing a relief to
-both after a burdensome atmosphere. Damier, while they walked, showed a
-grave kindliness, listened to her, assented or dissented with a careful
-accuracy that amused himself. He was not quite sure why, with Claire, he
-seldom felt it safe to be flexible or flippant; some dim instinct of
-self-protection before this embryotic soul and quick intelligence made
-him guard himself against all misinterpretations, made him scrupulous in
-defining the differences between them. Claire referred little to her
-mother, and then, at least in the beginnings of their intercourse, in
-the tones of commonplace respect, with something of the effect, he more
-and more realized, of shuffling aside an excellence that they both took
-for granted but hardly cared to linger over--she certainly did not,
-though he might have odd, pretty tastes for the past and done with.
-
-What to him was poetry--for, to a certain extent, she seemed to
-appreciate his attitude toward her mother--was to her the mere furniture
-of life. Damier resented, but for some time was helpless; she gave him
-no occasion for declaration or defense. Once or twice, when, _a propos
-de bottes_, as far as actual comment was required, he seriously spoke of
-his deep admiration for her mother, Claire listened with a
-_cela-va-sans-dire_ expression vastly baffling. Only by degrees, and
-only after some definite sharpnesses on his side, did she seem to
-realize that, in including him in her own casual attitude toward her
-mother, she not only misinterpreted but irritated and antagonized him.
-After that realization she never so offended again. Indeed, with an air
-of honoring his fantastic sensitiveness, yet with gravity, as if to show
-him that she, too, could appreciate moral charm, the pathos of defeat
-and finality, she often alluded to her mother's fine and gracious
-qualities; but, in spite of this concession, Damier was still aware of
-the indefinable difference that made the atmosphere seem disloyal.
-
-She said one day: "You have really decided to live in Paris--for ever
-and ever--_hein_? Is it we you are studying? Do you find us
-interesting?"
-
-"Very," replied Damier.
-
-"But the world is full of so many more interesting people," said Claire,
-"than two ladies, one almost old and one rapidly leaving her youth
-behind her, who live the narrowest of lives and give lessons to make
-butter for their bread."
-
-"I have not met many more interesting."
-
-"Then it is--to study us?" Her sleepy smile was upon him.
-
-Damier had certainly no intention of confiding in Claire the reasons for
-his stay in Paris, feeling suddenly, indeed, that the young woman
-herself formed a rather serious problem in all practical considerations
-of these reasons; yet the attitude implied in her question demanded a
-negative. "No, it isn't because I am studying you; it is because I am
-fond of you," he said, bringing out the words with a touch of
-awkwardness, feeling their simplicity to be almost crude.
-
-Claire was reflectively silent for some moments, observing his face, he
-knew, though he was not looking at her.
-
-"_Vous etes un original_," she said at last, with quite the manner of
-her race when abandoning, as impenetrable to rational probes, some
-specimen of British eccentricity.
-
-On another day a little incident occurred, slight, yet destined to
-impress Damier with a deeper sense of Claire's unsoundness. They were
-walking down the Champs-Elysees, in the windy brightness of a March
-afternoon, when, in the distance, near the Rond Point, they discerned
-the easily recognizable figure of Monsieur Daunay. Claire, as this old
-friend appeared upon the field of vision, put her hand in Damier's arm
-and, drawing him toward one of the smaller streets that slope down to
-the spacious avenue, said, smiling unemphatically: "Don't let us meet
-him."
-
-"Why not?" Damier inquired, surprised, and conscious in his surprise of
-a quick hostility to Claire and to her smiling look of dexterous
-evasion.
-
-"He hasn't seen us--come," she insisted, though the insistence was still
-veiled in humor.
-
-"Why should he not see us? I shall be glad to see him."
-
-Her eyes measured Monsieur Daunay's distance before she said, with
-something of impatience at his slowness of comprehension: "He will be
-shocked--think it improper--our walking out alone like this." Damier
-stared at her, stolidly resistant to the soft pull of her hand.
-
-"Improper? Your mother consenting--you an Englishwoman, I an
-Englishman?"
-
-"He is a Frenchman, and I am half French; you seem to forget that, both
-you and Mamma, at times." If she was irritated with him she successfully
-controlled her irritation, and Monsieur Daunay was so near that flight
-before his misinterpretation was impossible. She evidently resigned
-herself to the situation of Damier's making--let him feel, with a shrug
-of her shoulders, that it was of his making indeed, but, by a
-half-indifferent, half-ironic smile, that he was forgiven; he must be
-strong enough for both of them, the smile said.
-
-Monsieur Daunay approached, doffing his hat, and Damier at once
-perceived that there was certainly in his eye a cogitation very
-courteous, but altogether out of keeping, he thought, with the
-importance of its cause. He himself felt absent-minded, his thoughts
-engaged more with the analysis of the new and disagreeable sensation
-Claire had given him than with the sensations she might have given
-Monsieur Daunay. He replied somewhat vaguely to Monsieur Daunay's
-salutations, and, not so vaguely, heard Claire saying, "Mamma has sent
-us out for a walk."
-
-"Fine weather for walking," Monsieur Daunay replied, looking away from
-the young woman up at the vivid spring sky and round at the expansive
-day, all wind, sunlight, and sauntering groups of people.
-
-"You often walk here?" he continued pleasantly.
-
-"Not so often; I am too hard worked to get a frequent holiday: but Mr.
-Damier takes us out sometimes."
-
-"Madame Vicaud is at home?"
-
-"Yes; she has pupils, or she would have been with us."
-
-"She is well, I trust?"
-
-"Very well. We shall see you at tea to-morrow?" Claire laid a gently
-urgent hand upon his arm. "I have been practising the Gluck. I think you
-will be pleased with it. You will come?"
-
-"With great pleasure, as always," said the Frenchman, but still with
-something of unwonted gravity beneath his apparent ease.
-
-They parted, and Claire and Damier walked on.
-
-"He was shocked," said Claire, mildly.
-
-Monsieur Daunay might or might not be shocked, but Damier felt that he
-himself was, more so than he could quite account for. He fixed upon that
-wholly unnecessary half-untruth of hers; he could not let it pass.
-
-"We have often come here; your mother has only once come with us," he
-said, with the effect of cold shyness that his displeasure usually took;
-it always required an effort of distinct courage on Eustace Damier's
-part to express displeasure.
-
-"There was no necessity for him to know that," she returned, adding,
-with a laugh: "Now I have shocked both of you--he in his _convenances_,
-you in your English veracity. I don't mind fibbing in the least, I must
-tell you."
-
-"Don't you?" His displeasure was now determined to show its definite
-coolness.
-
-"Not in the least," said Claire, with perfect good humor, "in myself or
-in others"; and she added, with a little laugh at herself, "unless other
-people's fibs interfere with mine; but I think that I mind their fibs
-interfering less than their truths."
-
-Damier resigned himself to feeling that, after all, he was thoroughly
-prepared for any such developments in Claire; it was the tragedy in the
-thought of the other Clara that was knocking at his heart.
-
-
-
-
-IX
-
-
-THE arrival in Paris, where she was to pass some months,
-of a friend of Damier's, Lady Surfex, a charming, capable woman whose
-husband was his nearest friend, was the means of casting a further and
-still more lurid light upon Claire's character and Madame Vicaud's past.
-
-Damier wished to bring Madame Vicaud and Lady Surfex together. He had
-plans, and was vastly amused to realize that they were of a quite
-paternal character. These plans did not go beyond the thought that a
-widening of Claire's life might be an excellent thing for her, and, as a
-result, a happy thing for her mother. To see Claire well, safely,
-happily married, would not this be the lifting of a problem from the
-mother's heart? As yet he had not gone further and told himself that it
-would leave the mother's heart freer for the contemplation of other
-problems. Now Claire's chances of a prosperous marriage would certainly
-be multiplied if he could bring around her and her mother a few such
-friends as Lady Surfex. He spoke to her, on his first visit to her, of
-the Vicauds, and of his wish that they might meet. "The charming Clara
-Chanfrey!" Lady Surfex said. (With what a chime all allusions to Clara
-Chanfrey always began, to end with such funereal tolling!) "Ah, you make
-me feel how old I am becoming, for how often in my girlhood I heard my
-mother speak of her! She always spoke severely. Mother belonged to the
-old regime, you know--saw things steadily, and saw them whole, perhaps,
-but rather narrowly, and only one thing at a time. She couldn't take in,
-as it were, the extenuations of circumstance. And she was a great friend
-of Lady Chanfrey's. Lady Chanfrey infected all her allies with her own
-bitterness. But the memory of the daughter's charm came through it. She
-was like her father, not like her mother. I never liked the little I
-remember of Lady Chanfrey. But I have heard of Madame Vicaud since I
-used to hear of her from mother, and, I am sorry to say, more and more
-sadly."
-
-"All I hear of her is sad," said Damier. "Every echo from her past is a
-groan!"
-
-"Poor woman!" Lady Surfex mused. "First the awful husband, and then the,
-to say the least of it, trying daughter."
-
-Damier's heart stiffened. "Trying? In what way--I may ask?"
-
-"Of course you may--you know them so well; and, as I see, your sympathy
-is all with the mother. Well, I am afraid she is altogether trying, but
-the instance of which I was thinking deserves a severer adjective. Some
-friends of mine in Cheshire, nice, quiet people, had always kept more or
-less in touch with Madame Vicaud during her stormy life. They did not
-meet, but they sometimes wrote. Mrs. Barnett and she had been friends
-in girlhood. Claire, when she grew up, went to stay with them. Very
-beautiful, very clever, singing wonderfully, yet, from the beginning,
-she struck a false note. And then there was the ugly little story: a
-young man, Captain Dauncey, fell madly in love with her; they were
-engaged; and, within hardly a month's time, she jilted him openly and
-brazenly for a better match. That was only the beginning. Sir Everard
-Comber was madly in love, too, but Mrs. Barnett told me that they felt
-that he knew there was no good metal under her glamour; the glamour was
-so great that he hoodwinked himself. It was tragic to see him trying not
-to see. And one day he and Mrs. Barnett found Mademoiselle Vicaud
-engaged in a flirtation in an arbor, indolently allowing an adoring
-young man to kiss her hand, his arm around her waist. Mrs. Barnett said
-that it was the most unpleasant of situations--poor Sir Everard's face,
-the girl's look of dismay, followed by an instant assumption of
-coolness. She was able, almost at once, to show a humorous, half-vexed,
-half-tolerant smile, and to pretend that she expected them to share her
-playful anger against the hugely embarrassed culprit. She behaved,
-afterward, very badly about Sir Everard's breaking off the engagement,
-which he did most delicately and generously. She had no dignity; she was
-furious, and showed that she was. She even hinted once--only once, but
-it was enough--at a breach-of-promise suit and damages.
-
-"Madame Vicaud appeared in the midst of the commotion, and quenched in a
-moment the ugly flicker of vulgarity. The Barnetts guessed that there
-must have been a terrible scene between the two, but Madame Vicaud
-carried off her daughter, completely quelled, it seemed. She could not
-save the situation; she merely made it tragic instead of odious. That is
-the story," said Lady Surfex, after a pause in which Damier, with a
-whitened face, kept a sick silence--"only the story, after all, of a
-vulgar girl who makes her mother piteous.
-
-"I should love to meet Madame Vicaud. She does not know that I know,
-nor, I think, does the girl. The best thing, I fancy, would be if the
-girl could be married off to somebody who understood--and didn't mind.
-Don't you think so? Could we try to help Madame Vicaud like that?"
-
-Damier could not think just now of Claire's future; he was thinking,
-persistently, of Madame Vicaud--seeing her as a white flower sunken up
-to the brave and fragile petals in mud. The past clung to her in her
-daughter--greedy, husband-hunting, lax, and vulgar. What must the
-tortured mother's heart have felt at this heaping of shame upon her
-proudest head? How, more and more, he understood, and interpreted, her
-silences, her reserves!
-
-In a dry voice he said that he could hardly hope for any possible
-atonement to Madame Vicaud.
-
-"Have I been wrong in telling you--ungenerous?" asked Lady Surfex.
-
-"No; right. It makes one more able to help her; or, at least, to feel
-where she most needs help. It is only in lifting the daughter that one
-can help her."
-
-"We will lift her!" said Lady Surfex, with a glance at his absorbed
-face. "And then, if we do,--right out of the mother's life,--what will
-she do alone?"
-
-"She would never allow her to be lifted out of her life."
-
-"Well, only in the literal sense of going away to live with her
-husband."
-
-"Her husband! It seems a difficult thing to find her one!"
-
-"Not so much to find one--she is enchanting in appearance, I hear--as to
-keep one. But no doubt she is wiser, better, now. And would you,
-Eustace, live on in Paris indefinitely if the girl married and left her
-mother alone? Is your friendship so absorbing?"
-
-He was able to look at her now with a smile for her acuteness.
-
-"Quite so absorbing."
-
-
-
-
-X
-
-
-YET that very evening Damier was to have his freshly
-emphasized disgust unsettled, as theories are so constantly unsettled by
-new developments of fact. Claire did not show him a new fact about
-herself; she merely explained herself a little further, and made it
-evident that one could not label her "vulgar" and so dispose of her.
-
-It was, curiously, with a keener throb of pity, in the very midst of all
-his new reasons for disliking her, that he found her alone in the salon,
-sitting, in her white evening dress, near the open window--opened on the
-warm spring twilight. There was something of lassitude in her posture,
-the half-droop of her head as she stared vaguely at the sky, something
-of passive, patient strength, a creature that no one could
-love--even--even--he had wondered over it more and more of late--her
-mother? The wonder never came without a sense of fear for the
-desecration that such a thought implied in its forcing itself into an
-inner shrine of sorrow.
-
-His vision in all that concerned the woman he loved had something of a
-clairvoyant quality. At times he felt himself closing his ears, shutting
-his eyes, to whispers, glimpses, which as yet he had no right to see or
-hear.
-
-That evening he was to dine with Madame Vicaud, Claire, and little
-Sophie; and Claire's gown, he felt in prospective, would make poor
-Sophie's ill-fitting blouse look odd by contrast in the box at the
-theater where he was afterward to take them. He had, indeed, never seen
-the girl look more lovely. His over-early arrival had had as its object
-the hope of finding, not the daughter, but the mother, alone. Yet,
-sitting there in the quiet evening air, talking quietly, looking from
-dim tree-tops outside to Claire's white form and splendid head, he felt
-that the unasked-for hour had its interest, even its charm. Claire did
-not charm him, but the mystery of her deep thoughts and shallow heart
-was as alluring to his mind as the merely pictorial attraction of her
-beauty to his eye.
-
-"The chief thing," said Claire,--they had been talking in a desultory
-fashion about life, and in speaking she stretched out her arm in its
-transparent sleeve and looked at it with her placid, powerful look,
-adjusting its fall of lace over her hand,--"the chief thing is to know
-what you want and to determine to get it. People who do that get what
-they want, you know--unless circumstances are peculiarly antagonistic."
-(Damier, in the light of his recent knowledge, found this phrase very
-pregnant.) "You, for instance, have never known exactly what you wanted;
-therefore you have got nothing. My father knew that he wanted to paint
-well--you rarely hear us speak of my father, do you?--though Mamma, you
-see, has his photograph conspicuously _en evidence_ up there, lest I
-should think too ill of him--or guess how ill she thinks of him herself.
-I hardly knew my father at all; he was, no doubt, what is called a very
-bad man, but clever, very clever. He determined to paint well, and he
-did. You know his pictures. I don't care about pictures, but I suppose
-there are few of that epoch that can be compared to that Luxembourg
-canvas of his. Mamma, do you know, never goes to see it. She has never
-really recovered from the shock poor papa gave her prejudices--the
-prejudices of the _jeune fille anglaise_. I"--she smiled a little at
-him, gliding quickly past the silent displeasure that her last words had
-evoked in his expression--"I have a very restricted field for choice;
-but I determine to be well dressed. I have small aims, you say; but with
-me, as yet, circumstances are very antagonistic. I should like many
-pleasures, but as there is only one I can achieve, I am wise as well as
-determined; what I do determine comes to pass. And Mamma--yes, I am
-coming to her. Mamma wanted to be good, and she is, you see, perfectly
-good. And, even more than that, perhaps, she wanted me to be good, too;
-but there either her will was too weak or I too wicked--the latter,
-probably, for she has a strong will."
-
-"Perhaps," said Damier, smiling as he leaned back in his chair, arms
-folded and knees crossed, listening to her--"perhaps you underestimate
-her success, or overestimate the Luciferian splendor of your own
-nature."
-
-"I don't think it is at all splendid," said Claire, composedly; "some
-wickedness is, I grant you; but do I strike you as affecting that kind?"
-
-"I must own that you don't."
-
-"Or, indeed, as affecting anything either picturesque or desirable?" she
-pursued.
-
-Again Damier had to own that she affected no such thing.
-
-"Ah, that is well. I should not like you to misinterpret me," said
-Claire. "I make no poses." And after a slight pause in which he
-wondered anew over her, she added: "I merely like enjoyment better than
-anything else in the world."
-
-"Yours, you know, is a very old philosophy--a universe of will and
-enjoyment; but one must have a great deal of the former to attain the
-latter in a world of so many clashing aims," said Damier.
-
-"Yes, one must."
-
-"And not the highest type of will. The world, so seen, is a terrible
-one."
-
-"Do you think so?" Her look, from the sky, drifted lazily down to him.
-
-"Don't you?"
-
-"No; I think it wonderful, enthralling, if one attains one's aims; it is
-all beautiful, even the suffering--if one avoids suffering one's self."
-
-"You are an esthete--
-
- While safe beneath the roof,
- To hear with drowsy ear the plash of rain."
-
-"Oh, better than rain--the tempest!"
-
-"And how can one avoid suffering, pray?"
-
-"_Mais_,"--Claire had a tolerant smile for his naivete,--"by staying
-under the roof, laughing round the fire. Mamma, you see, would be
-darting out continually into the storm."
-
-"Bringing other people back to shelter."
-
-"And crowding us uncomfortably round the fire, getting the rest of us
-wet!" smiled Claire. "For a case in point--don't you find Sophie a bore?
-She was going to commit suicide when Mamma, through something Miss
-Vibert said, found her. Yes, I assure you, the charcoal was lit--her
-last sous spent on it. And really, do you know, I think it would have
-been a wise thing. Don't be too much horrified at my heartlessness. I
-mean that Sophie will never enjoy herself; nothing in this world will
-ever satisfy her. When she has enough to eat she can realize more
-clearly her higher wants. And--I don't want to seem more ungenerous than
-I am, but, as a result, we have less to eat ourselves. Don't look so
-stony; I am not really _un mauvais coeur_. I would willingly dot
-Sophie, buy her the best husband procurable if I had the money; but
-husbands and houses and money wouldn't make Sophie comfortable, and I
-don't really see that much is gained by making two people less so in
-order to insure the survival of one unfit little Pole."
-
-"I need hardly tell you that I don't share the ruthless materialism of
-that creed. Who, my dear young woman, are you, to pronounce on Sophie's
-unfitness, and to decide that you, rather than she, have a right to
-survival?"
-
-Claire looked at him for a moment with a smile unresentful and yet
-rueful.
-
-"How often you surprise me," she said, "and how often you make me feel
-that I don't, even yet, quite understand you! It is so difficult to
-realize that a person so comprehending can at the same time be so rigid.
-With you _tout comprendre_ is not _tout pardonner_."
-
-"By no means," Damier owned, unable to repress a smile.
-
-"Well, I would far rather have you understand me completely, even if
-you can't forgive. I told you that I was wicked; one good point I have:
-I never pretend to be better than I am."
-
-"And one better point you have, and that is that you are better than you
-know." Damier spoke lightly, but at the moment he believed what he
-spoke.
-
-Claire smiled without replying, and said, after a little silence:
-
-"Of course you have seen how good Mamma is. You both of you have a moral
-perfume, and recognize it in each other. I puzzle and worry her so
-because I won't suffer, won't go out of my life into other people's. You
-asked me how one could avoid suffering; really, for the most part, it is
-very easy to avoid. Sympathy is the fatal thing: _to suffer with_--why
-should one? It is a mere increasing of the suffering in the world, if
-one comes to think of it. The wise thing is to concentrate one's
-self--to bring things to one's self; but it is that wisdom that Mamma
-will not understand in me."
-
-Damier made no comment on these assertions, and Claire, as if she had
-expected none, as if, indeed, she were expounding herself and her mother
-for her own benefit as well as his, went on:
-
-"She is very energetic, too, Mamma, as energetic as I am, but in a
-different way. She is always striving--against things; I wait. Even if
-she can't see distinctly at what she is aiming, she is always aiming at
-something; I never aim unless I see something to aim at."
-
-"What things do you aim at?" he now asked.
-
-"Oh--you know; things that Mamma despises--things that you too despise,
-perhaps, but that, at all events, you understand." He could not quite
-interpret the glance that rested upon him. "And Mamma's aims--I suppose
-you don't care to hear what I think of them?"
-
-"On the contrary, for you think very clearly. But I know what she has
-aimed at. What has she attained?"
-
-He asked himself the question, indeed, with an inner lamentation for
-the one evident, the one tragic failure.
-
-"Well,"--Claire clasped her hands behind her head and looked out of the
-window,--"for one thing, she has kept herself--she hasn't attained it:
-that wasn't needful--_tres grande dame_. She has always made herself a
-social milieu congenial to her, or gone without one. For herself she
-would not choose and exclude so carefully; but I complicate Mamma's
-spontaneous impulses. The social milieu has always been to her a soil in
-which to try to grow my soul; that is why she is so careful about the
-soil; if it were not for me she would probably choose the stoniest and
-ugliest, and beautify it by blooming in it, since her soul is strong and
-beneficent."
-
-Half repelled and half attracted as Damier had been, it was now with
-more of attraction than repulsion that he listened, an attraction that
-had many sources. That she should so finely appreciate her mother was
-one. It was touching--meant to be so, perhaps, for even in his
-attraction he had these moments of doubt; but a sincerity that could
-paint herself so unbecomingly and her mother so beautifully was a new
-revelation of her frankness. There was attraction, too, though of a
-mingled quality, in her strength and in her apparent indifference to his
-impression of her. These were better things than the glamour; yet that,
-too, he felt, as when she turned her eyes on him and said that the world
-was beautiful. At such moments something joyous and conscienceless in
-him responded to her, half intellectual comprehension and half mere
-flesh and blood. It was a little swirl of emotion that his soul, calm
-and disdainfully aloof, could look down on and observe, in no danger of
-being shaken by it; but it did swirl through him like a tremulous coil
-of Venusberg music; and Claire, in her transparent white, with her heavy
-braids and grave, shining eyes, gleamed at such moments with the baleful
-beauty of the eternal siren. As long as one was human something human in
-one must respond to that siren call. Even now, when he was feeling,
-with some bewilderment, better things in her, the glamour looking from
-her eyes, breathing from her serious lips, confused and troubled the new
-impulse of trust and pity. Half lightly, half sadly, yet with a very
-gentle kindliness, he said to her: "Strong enough to make you flower
-some day, let us believe"; and, as silently she still gazed upon him:
-"That you should recognize beauty is already a flower, you know."
-
-Still leaning back, her arms behind her head, still looking at him,
-Claire now said: "I owe that flower, not to her, but to you."
-
-He stared for a moment, not comprehending.
-
-"You mean that you see her, appreciate her, through my sight, my
-appreciation?"
-
-"Yes--in a sense, I mean that."
-
-"But," said Damier, smiling, "you owe it to her that there is something
-beautiful to see."
-
-He was mystified, not quite trusting, yet touched.
-
-Claire, without moving, turned her eyes on the door. "Here she is," she
-said; and as her mother entered, she added, in the lowest voice above a
-whisper, so vaguely that it was like a fragrant perturbing influence
-breathing from the twilight and the spring air:
-
-"I like to owe all my flowers to you."
-
-Already, as he rose to greet the mother, he liked the daughter less.
-
-Madame Vicaud, in her black dress, with flowing white about her wrists
-and throat,--a throat erect and beautiful,--had closed the door softly
-behind her, and as she came toward him, Damier, involuntarily carrying
-further his Venusberg simile of some moments before, thought of an
-Elizabeth bringing peace and radiance; yet there was, too, a gravity in
-her gaze, a quick intentness that went swiftly from her daughter to him.
-Then the smile and the lightness masked her. She took his hand.
-
-"Has not Sophie come yet? Of what have you been talking?"
-
-"Of life, and how to live it," laughed Damier.
-
-"Wise young people! Was it a contest of sublimities?" Madame Vicaud laid
-down the evening wrap she had brought in, and, it seemed to Damier,
-averted her face from him as she took up a box of matches.
-
-"Do I ever fight under the banner of sublimity, Mamma?" Claire inquired,
-looking out of the window, showing once more her accustomed lassitude
-and detachment. "I leave those becoming colors to you--and to Mr.
-Damier."
-
-"But don't, even in jest, my dear, assume always the unbecoming ones,"
-Madame Vicaud replied, still with all her lightness, and bending, her
-face still averted, to strike a match. "You have discovered, have you
-not, Mr. Damier, that it is difficult for Claire to assume the virtues
-that she has?"
-
-She moved about the room, lighting the candles on the mantelpiece and on
-the cabinet where her husband's portrait stood; and Damier, watching
-the swift blackness of her girlish figure, the slender white of her
-uplifted hand,--the black more black, the white more white, as the
-radiance slowly grew in the dim room,--still fancied that she was
-mastering some emotion, hiding from him some sudden agitation. There was
-a faint flush on her face as she turned, gaily and sweetly, blowing out
-and tossing away her match, to welcome Sophie.
-
-
-
-
-XI
-
-
-DAMIER was well aware that some trivial and purely
-subjective fancy or emotion may oddly color and distort reality for one,
-and he was not quite able to decide whether change there really were in
-Madame Vicaud, or whether it was only in his imagination that the
-difference he had fancied in her on that evening was continued during
-the following days. She seemed, in her relations with him, more intimate
-and yet more effaced; and he was almost sure--or was it only the
-reflection of his own solicitude cast upon her?--that she watched him,
-speculated upon him, more than at any time in their friendship, and
-always with that controlled agitation. It was almost as if she guessed
-his new knowledge and understanding of her sorrows and humiliations; as
-if she wondered how much he knew, and how much he was going to let her
-see that he knew. And if she seemed more intimate yet more effaced,
-Claire, for a little while at all events, was less intimate yet more in
-evidence. He had the rather uncomfortable feeling that Claire had
-implied on that evening more than he had been able to understand; that
-she had laid upon him some responsibility that he really never had
-undertaken to accept: but she did not emphasize it further, seemed
-content to let it remain indefinitely apprehended by him, and the slight
-discomfort and perplexity he had felt passed from his mind, leaving only
-in a half-conscious undercurrent the mood of vague doubt and withdrawal,
-mingling with a deeper pity, a deeper desire to help--for her own sake
-now as well as for her mother's.
-
-It was odd, this hint of withdrawal and formality, in the midst of a
-greater kindness, when Claire occupied so much more conspicuously the
-foreground. She was now always with her mother; was a third in all
-talks and readings, listening, with eyes almost ironically vacant, her
-hands lying beautifully indolent in her lap, while Damier read aloud and
-her mother sewed. Claire did not seem to have stepped forward, but her
-mother seemed to have stepped back; and from the background--a
-mysterious one to his odd, new apprehension of things--she smiled more
-tenderly than before, and with yet a tremor, an intentness, as though
-expecting him to understand more than she could look.
-
-And all this might be merely an emotional color in his own outlook on
-unchanged facts, but the color certainly was there, making a faintly
-tinted difference over all the mental landscape.
-
-It was during the first days of this dim perplexity that he found
-himself alone once more with Madame Vicaud. He had outstayed all her
-guests on a Tuesday afternoon, and, the Viberts having taken Claire back
-to dine with them, Madame Vicaud asked the young man to share her
-solitude.
-
-Now, when they were alone, and while he sat cutting the leaves of a new
-book they were to read together, she went about the room, putting things
-back in their places, closing the piano--a little restless in her
-restoration of composure to the room.
-
-Presently she came to him, stood beside him, looking down at the book.
-"Always friends, you know," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder and
-speaking lightly, almost incidentally.
-
-"Why not?" Damier asked, looking up at her.
-
-"Indeed, why not?" she returned, smiling. "Nothing, I hope, would ever
-change our friendship."
-
-"Nothing could." She stood silently beside him, looking down, not at
-him, but at the volume of essays, and he added: "You will tell me if you
-are ever in any trouble or sorrow where I could help you, if ever so
-little?"
-
-"Oh, yes; I will tell you," she answered, still with the lightness that
-contrasted with the tremor of Damier's voice.
-
-Moving away, she asked him, presently, if he did not think that Claire's
-singing that afternoon had been very intelligent. She had sung Orfeo's
-song of search and supplication through Hades, her mother accompanying
-her on the harp. Damier had not altogether cared for Claire's
-interpretation of the song. Claire's voice had thrown an enchantment
-around a rather over-emotional, yet an untender, conception of it.
-
-"Her voice is glorious," he said.
-
-"The song is to me one of the most beautiful parts of the opera," said
-Madame Vicaud; "that lonely, steadfast love, throbbing onward, through
-horror."
-
-"Ah," was on Damier's lips, "you have said what she could not sing"; but
-he had long felt that appreciation of Claire was the greatest pleasure
-he could give to her mother, and depreciation the greatest pain. He
-therefore sat silently looking at her, leaning forward, his hands
-clasped around the idle book-cutter; and Madame Vicaud, with all her
-calm, went on presently, taking up her sewing as she sat near the lamp
-with its plain green shade: "Do you think Claire's life very gray--very
-dreary?"
-
-The question from one who, on this subject of her daughter's upbringing,
-seemed always inflexibly sure of her own aims, surprised Damier, and its
-chiming with his own recent thoughts disturbed him. After all, was,
-perhaps, Claire's gray life an explanation, in one sense, of her ugly
-clutch at any brightness? Yet the serenity, the sweet, if laborious,
-dignity of the place her mother had made for her in life, hardly allowed
-the mitigating supposition. Claire's life was really neither gray nor
-dreary. He paused, however, for a long time before saying: "From her
-point of view it probably is."
-
-"I should have liked to give her a larger life, a life of more
-opportunity, more gaiety. I feel the narrowness of her path as keenly as
-she does. Not that Claire complains."
-
-"You have given her your best. How could she complain?" Damier was not
-able quite to restrain the resentment he felt at the idea of Claire
-complaining.
-
-"Ah, I could not blame her if she did," said Madame Vicaud, her quiet
-eyes on her work, "for mothers personify circumstance to children; we
-are symbols, to them, of baffling, cramping fate; very often, and very
-naturally, we are fate's whipping-boys: and when one is a young and
-talented and beautiful woman whose youth is passing in giving lessons,
-in seeing people who seldom interest or amuse her, fate must often seem
-to deserve blows."
-
-Damier, in the surge of his comprehension,--of which she must be so
-ignorant and at which perhaps she yet guessed,--longed to throw himself
-at her knees: her pity for Claire equaled, surpassed his own; and he
-had--not blaming her for it, thinking it, indeed, the penalty of her
-superiority--thought her unconscious of Claire's pathos.
-
-"You deepen your shadows too much," he said; "for a daughter more like
-yourself your life would not be a narrow one." He paused, for, though
-she did not lift her eyes, a faint flush passed over Madame Vicaud's
-face.
-
-"I see all your efforts to widen it," he went on, hurrying away from
-what he felt to have been an unfortunate comparison, "the flowers you
-strew: intellectual, artistic interests, friends that you hope she may
-find congenial, your delightful teas."
-
-"Oh--our teas!" Madame Vicaud interrupted, smiling with a rather
-satirical playfulness. "No; our delightful and 'cultured' little teas
-can hardly atone to Claire. She should have the gaiety, the variety, the
-colored experience that I had in my youth. I can well imagine that to
-Claire's palate the nourishment I offer her is rather tasteless. She
-needs excitement, admiration, appreciation, an outlet for her energy,
-her intelligence."
-
-Damier seized the opportunity--it was, he thought, very
-propitious--again to ask her when he might bring some of his friends in
-Paris to see her, suggesting that so Claire's social diet might be
-pleasantly diversified. Madame Vicaud had more than once
-evaded--gracefully, kindly, and decisively--all question of renewing
-broken ties with her country-people, or making new ones, and now, again,
-she slightly flushed, as though for a moment finding him tactless and
-inopportune; but only for a moment: when she lifted her eyes to him, it
-was with all their quiet confidence of gaze.
-
-"I hardly know that that would be for Claire's happiness or good. One
-must have the means of widening one's environment if it is to be with
-comfort to one's self. Our means are too limited to be diffused over a
-larger area. You must not forget, my friend, that we are very poor. I do
-not like accepting where I can offer nothing."
-
-"That is a false though a charming delicacy," said Damier. "You give
-yourself; and I hope you won't refuse to now, for I have almost promised
-you to Lady Surfex; she is very anxious to meet you."
-
-Madame Vicaud was silent for some moments, her eyes downcast to the work
-where she put firm, rapid stitches; then, in a voice that had suddenly
-grown icy, "Her mother did not recognize me one day, years ago, when she
-met me walking with my husband," she said.
-
-It was now Damier's turn to flush. He nerved himself, after a moment, to
-say:
-
-"But this is not the mother."
-
-"No; and my husband is dead: otherwise the wish to meet me would not
-overcome that disability."
-
-"You are a little unjust, my dearest friend," said the young man.
-
-"I know the world," she replied; but she raised her eyes in saying it,
-and looked at him with a sad kindness that separated him from the world
-she knew. "I don't judge it--only see it as it is. It seeks happiness,
-it avoids unhappiness. To be unfortunate is to be lost, in its eyes--to
-sink from sight. To be fortunate is to have a radiance around one; and
-the world seeks radiance."
-
-After looking at him she again bent her eyes, and still sewed on while
-she spoke. "When I needed it, it abandoned me. When I was in the dark,
-it did not look for me. I strayed--through stubborn folly, perhaps;
-perhaps, too, through generous ignorance--into a quicksand, and not a
-hand was held out to me. I was allowed to sink; I was declassee, I am
-declassee, in the eyes of all of those who were of my world." The cold
-flame of a long resentment burned in her steady voice. "I have tested
-average human nature," she resumed, after a slight pause, in which he
-saw her breast heave slowly. "It is a severe test, I own; but, after it,
-it is with difficulty that I can trust again. I have no wish to know
-people who, if I were in dire straits, would pass over on the other side
-of the way. The few friends I have I have proved--the comtesse, Madame
-Depressier, Lady Vibert, Monsieur Daunay,--who had much to bear from my
-husband,--Sophie; there are a few more, very few; and then, you, my
-friend."
-
-She stopped sewing--the rapid movements of her hand had been almost
-automatic--and looked at him, her work falling to her knee. "Come here,"
-she said, holding out her hand to him, "come here. Have I seemed harsh
-to you?" Her sudden smile dwelt on him with a divine sweetness. "I am
-harsh--but not to you."
-
-Damier, with an eagerness almost pathetically boyish, had sprung to her
-side, and she took his hand, smiling up at him. "Not to you. You have
-enlarged my trust--need I say how much? Don't ask me to alloy it with
-dubious admixtures."
-
-His love for her was yet so founded on a sort of sacred fear that at
-this moment of delicious happiness he did not dare to stoop and confess
-all with a lover's kiss upon her hair, did not even dare to look a
-confession of more than a responsive affection.
-
-She pressed his hand, still smiling at him, and then, resuming her
-sewing, "Sit near me," she said, "so I can see that you are not fancying
-that I am harsh with you!"
-
-At such moments he could see in her eyes, that caressed one, made
-sweetest amends to one, touches of what must once have been enchanting
-roguishness.
-
-"But I am still going to risk your harshness," he said; "I am still
-going to ask you to let your trust in me include my friend. She would
-stand tests. Won't you take my word for it?"
-
-"I believe that I would take your word for anything."
-
-"And," said Damier, looking his thanks, "all you say is true. I don't
-want to justify man's ways to man; and yet ordinary human nature, with
-its almost inevitable self-regarding instinct, its climb toward
-happiness, its ugly struggle for successful attainment of it, is more
-forgetful than cruel toward unhappiness. One must be patient with it;
-one must remember that only the exceptional natures can rise above that
-primitive instinct. To take the other road is to embrace the sacrifice
-of all the second-rate joys--the only real joys to the average human
-being. One must either yield to the instinct or fight it, and most
-people are too lazy, too skeptical of other than apparent good, to do
-that. And then you must remember--I must, for how often I have struggled
-with these thoughts!--that misfortune is a mask, a disguise. One can't
-be recognized and known when one wears it; one can't show one's self; if
-one could there would perhaps be responses. People are base--most of
-them are base, perhaps; but sometimes they are only blind or stupid."
-
-"I sometimes think that I am all three," said Madame Vicaud, after a
-little pause. "Misfortune's distorting mask has become in me an
-actuality. I am perhaps blinded; certainly, as I told you, warped and
-hardened. I used not to be so; it was, I suppose, latent in me: I could
-not bear the fiery ordeal; the good shriveled and the dross remained."
-
-She spoke with a full gravity, no hint of plaintive self-pity, no appeal
-for contradiction, in her voice; yet, on raising her saddened eyes, she
-had to smile when she met his look.
-
-"I see," she said, "that you are determined to take me at your own
-valuation, not at mine."
-
-She turned the talk after that; she could seldom be led to talk of
-herself, and not until dinner was over, not until, after it, he had read
-to her for an hour, did she return to its subject. Then it was when he
-rose to go that, giving him her hand in farewell, she said:
-
-"Bring your friend; I shall be glad to see her."
-
-
-
-
-XII
-
-
-IT was as a result of this new friendship, which rapidly
-spread into half a dozen, that Damier, who seemed to himself to be
-walking among echoes of the past and whispered prophecies of the future,
-received yet another hint, another faint yet significant revelation, of
-Madame Vicaud's attitude toward her daughter.
-
-In the more or less fluctuating social world of English Paris, the
-beautiful and distinguished mother and her beautiful and effective
-daughter struck a novel and quite resounding note,--too resounding for
-Madame Vicaud's taste, Damier at once felt,--a note well sustained by a
-harmony so decisive as Lady Surfex, Mrs. Wallingham (another new
-friend), and Damier himself. That Madame Vicaud disliked feeling
-herself a note sustained by any harmony, Damier guessed. That she
-mastered the dislike for his sake, he knew. He knew that she would do a
-great deal for his sake--a great deal for Lady Surfex, too. She and Lady
-Surfex liked each other absolutely. But it was through Lady Surfex, and
-her secret alliance with Damier, that the problem of Claire, instead of
-being unraveled, was the more deeply involved. Claire evidently enjoyed
-this new phase of life. She had now quite frequent opportunities for
-displaying her gowns and her voice and her dancing at receptions and
-balls. Yet, already, among her new entourage, she had shown her affinity
-with its less desirable members. A rich, fashionable, and rather tawdry
-Englishwoman took a great fancy to her; and Mrs. Jefferies was the
-sister of a fashionable and tawdry brother, Lord Epsil, who at once
-manifested a decided interest in the red-haired beauty, pronounced her
-to be like Sodoma's Judith, and made her mother's withdrawal of her
-from his company the more noticeable by his persistent seeking of hers.
-
-"It is really too bad," Lady Surfex said to Damier. "She flirts
-outrageously with the man--if one can call that indolent tolerance
-flirting. I hope that she realizes that he is a bad lot. From a purely
-worldly point of view he can be of no advantage to her. He is married
-and has not a nice reputation."
-
-"She may not realize it, she may be indifferent to it; but her mother
-realizes and is not indifferent."
-
-"And we wanted to spare her such watchfulness!" sighed Lady Surfex.
-
-"It seems that we can spare her nothing," Damier replied. At the same
-time he felt that Claire could be accused of nothing worse than too
-great a tolerance. Once or twice she spoke to him of Lord Epsil with
-half-mocking insight. "He is not like you," she said; "the difference
-amuses me." Claire's intelligence was, after all, her best safeguard in
-all that did not touch matters of delicate taste, and Damier's only way
-of helping her mother was to watch with her--to constitute himself a
-sort of elder brother in his attitude toward Claire, and to try, by
-being much with Claire himself, to make Lord Epsil's wish to be with her
-less able to manifest itself.
-
-The faint yet significant hint of what Madame Vicaud's real feelings
-toward her daughter were came to him one evening at a dance, when she
-sat beside Lady Surfex, more beautiful, with her white face, her thick
-gray hair, in the dignity of her black dress, than any other woman
-there. He then saw on her face, as, fanning herself slowly, her head a
-little bent, she watched Claire dance, a concentration of the somberness
-it sometimes showed. It was a moment only of unconscious revelation; in
-another she had turned, with her quiet and facile gaiety, to a laughing
-comment of her companion's. But Damier, following that momentary
-brooding look, saw in a flash its interpretation on the daughter's face.
-Claire was dancing, exquisitely dressed, calm, competent, complacent,
-as noticeable and as graceful a figure as any in the room. And yet--he
-had felt it from the first, but never so clearly, so tragically, as
-through that somber maternal gaze--Claire was ill-bred. It was that her
-mother should see her so that made the revelation.
-
-The somberness was not a fear of what others thought; she was, he knew,
-almost arrogantly indifferent to what people thought: it was what she
-herself thought that had gloomed her brow. And that she should see,
-should recognize, that affection should not mercifully have blinded her,
-filled Damier with a sort of consternation. Again all the ugly visions
-of Claire crossed his mind, and now, indeed, the mother stood transfixed
-beside them, for she, too, saw such visions. Ill-bred was a trivial,
-mitigating word.
-
-He realized that this very quality--call it what one would--in Claire
-was the cause of her effectiveness, the reason, too, that his hopes for
-her would probably remain unfulfilled.
-
-She was a woman upon whom, when she entered a room, all men's eyes
-turned. Her beauty was like the deep, half-triumphant, half-ominous note
-of brazen instruments. But she was not a woman that men of Madame
-Vicaud's world, of Lady Surfex's world, would care to marry. Had she
-been an heiress,--and she was of the type that one associates with
-unfragrant and recent wealth,--had it not been for her poverty, her
-essential obscurity, she would no doubt have been enrolled among the
-powerful young women who are watched with admiring envy as they advance
-toward a luminous match. Claire had quite the manner of placid advance,
-quite the manner (and how detestable to her mother the manner must be!)
-of a young woman bent upon "getting on." But though her indolent
-self-assurance made people give way before her, made her talked of and
-something of a personage, she was, as a result of her launching, far
-more likely to become notorious than eminent. Any success of Claire's
-must, like herself, be ill-bred, tainted.
-
-That Claire felt this, he doubted, or even that, if felt, she would
-mind; but that Madame Vicaud felt it he now agonized in knowing. And she
-had asked for her daughter neither eminence nor a luminous match; she
-had, he now saw, been glad to shield her with obscurity. That she might
-become notorious, fulfil herself completely in so becoming, would be the
-bitterest drop in her cup that fate could reserve for her.
-
-If she dreaded it, she kept, at all events, a stoic's calm above the
-dread. And her restrictions, delicate, subtle, unemphasized, were about
-Claire on every side; her unobtrusive watchfulness was constantly upon
-her. With a cheerful firmness she held Claire to her duty of earning, as
-Claire had said, "the butter for her bread," and thwarted, without
-seeming to thwart, many of her social opportunities. Damier saw, though
-only faintly, under the surface of appearance her dexterity kept smooth,
-the constant drama of the conflict, a conflict that never became open or
-avowed. He saw that Madame Vicaud's cleverness was so great that even
-Claire hardly knew that there was a conflict; but after what he had seen
-in the mother's eyes on the night of the dance, he understood, at least,
-for what she was fighting.
-
-Damier still felt the subtle change in his relations with Claire and
-Madame Vicaud, and he had by this time adapted himself to it--adapted
-himself to seeing Claire more constantly, seeing Madame Vicaud more
-rarely alone, encouraged as he was in this sacrifice by the strong
-impression that in so doing he was pleasing her, and was emphasizing
-that silent, yet growing, nearness and intimacy.
-
-The silence was part of her extreme delicacy, and of her fineness of
-perception; it showed that his brotherly attitude toward Claire was what
-she had hoped for, and it was almost maternal in its sweetness of
-recognition to him, its loyalty of speechlessness toward the other
-child, the child that--he knew it so clearly now--could only give her
-profoundest pain; such a silence would a mother keep with the child that
-gave her happiness.
-
-He had never more strongly felt this queer medley of influences than on
-one warm summer evening when he and Madame Vicaud sat outside the salon
-on the high balcony that overlooked the garden. They had dined,--he and
-Monsieur Daunay, and Claire and her mother,--and now Claire and Monsieur
-Daunay had established themselves at the piano in the distant end of the
-salon, the pale radiance of two candles enveloping them and deepening
-the half-gloom in the room's wide spaces.
-
-Outside the twilight lingered, though beneath them the June foliage made
-mysteries of gloom; the warm breathing of the summer ascended in
-fragrance from still branches; the faint stars above shone in a pale
-sky.
-
-They were both very silent, Damier looking at her, and she with eyes
-musingly downcast to the trees. Her face, he thought, showed a
-peculiarly deep contentment; more than that, perhaps: for he still felt
-the whisper of a mystery; still felt, in all the peace between them, a
-hint of perplexity; still divined that, though she was tranquil, her
-tranquillity had been wrested from some struggle,--a struggle that she
-had hidden from him,--as though she had yielded something with pain,
-even though, now, she was satisfied. Patience as much as tranquillity
-was upon her lips and brow; and yet he knew that, insensibly, she had
-come to lean upon the new strength he brought into her life; that she
-depended upon him, though she confided so little; that soon, very soon,
-her eyes must answer the unspoken question in his, and solve, in the
-answer, all mysteries. Indeed, he said to himself that, Claire's
-harassing problem all unsolved, he could not wait much longer; he must
-know just where he stood with her, and tell her where he wished to
-stand. Now, as they sat there, listening to Claire's richly emotional
-voice,--a voice that expressed so much more than it felt,--it was
-Claire's voice, just as it was the thought of Claire, that disturbed the
-peace, jarred upon the aspiration of his thoughts. Its beauty seemed to
-embroider the chaste and dreaming stillness with an arabesque of
-opulent curves and flaunting tendrils. Our imaginative young man could
-almost see a whiteness invaded by urgent waves of purple and rose and
-gold. He stirred, shifted his position involuntarily and
-uneasily--wished Claire would stop singing; her voice curiously
-irritated him.
-
-Madame Vicaud sat with her back to the open window, and Damier, beside
-her, could not see into the room without turning his head. He did
-happen, however, to turn his head during a humming pause. Monsieur
-Daunay's hands were still held on the last chord, while, as Damier
-thought, he demonstrated to Claire some improvement in her rendering of
-the note that had just soared above it. But as he turned lazily to
-glance at them, Damier saw a strange, an unexpected thing, a thing
-poignantly disagreeable to him. Monsieur Daunay's face, vividly
-illuminated, was upturned to Claire's; he was speaking below his breath,
-under cover of the humming chord, and with a look of humble yet
-reproachful entreaty. Claire, a swift finger on her lips as she bent to
-the music, had a glance for the window, and Damier's eyes of
-astonishment and dismay met hers. He looked away abruptly--too abruptly
-for a successful controlling of the dismay and astonishment, for he
-found Madame Vicaud's eyes upon him, and he saw in a moment that they
-had been upon him during the swift incident--eyes filled with wonder and
-with an ignorant yet intense fear. Memories of another scene,
-hand-kissings in an arbor, flashed upon him, and he knew her thoughts.
-She met his look--as empty as he could make it--for a long moment; but
-after it she did not, also, glance into the room, where the song now
-flowed with an almost exaggerated spirit. Wrapping her arms more closely
-in her light shawl, she sat quite silent, the effort to control, to
-master the crowding of her surmises apparent in her rigidly still
-profile. Damier guessed that the surmises must, inevitably, suspect
-Claire, not Monsieur Daunay. In justice to Claire, after the
-involuntary silence of his dismay, he could not longer be silent. After
-all, and he drew a long breath in realizing it, Claire's past shadowed
-perhaps too deeply her present; after all, the fact was not so alarming.
-
-"Have you never suspected," he said, "that Monsieur Daunay cares for
-Claire?"
-
-She did not reply; turning a wan face upon him, her eyes still averted,
-she shook her head in a helpless negation of all such knowledge.
-
-"Don't be distressed," said Damier, terribly afraid that he too much
-showed his own distress; "it is unfortunate for him, and wrong of him to
-keep such feeling from you; I happened just now to see its revelation in
-his face as he looked at Claire."
-
-Madame Vicaud, for another moment, said nothing, struggling, he knew,
-with those awakened memories--or were they not always awake, clutching
-at her?
-
-"He may care for Claire," she then said faintly, "but she cannot care
-for him; that--you know--is impossible."
-
-"Only enough, I am sure, to wish to shield him."
-
-"I could never have suspected. He is an old friend, a trusted friend. I
-must speak to him."
-
-"Let me speak to him--may I? I will walk home with him to-night."
-
-A certain relief in Madame Vicaud was taking a long, deep breath, and
-nothing could more clearly have assured him of the position he held in
-her eyes than the half-hesitating yet half-assenting consideration she
-gave to his rather odd proposal.
-
-"But," she said, "will he not wonder--by what right--"
-
-"I speak? By the right of my fondness for you."
-
-"And for Claire, yes," said Madame Vicaud, thoughtfully.
-
-Damier had not at all intended to imply this amendment, especially at a
-moment when he was so sure of not being at all fond of Claire; yet the
-trust of her inclusion was so unconscious of possible contradiction that
-he could not trouble it.
-
-"But what will you say?" she went on. "Any reproach should come from me;
-and what reproach could you make? I cannot think he is more than
-piteous; people fall in love with Claire--often."
-
-Damier was feeling that if, by chance, Monsieur Daunay were more than
-piteous, he must stand between Madame Vicaud and the discovery.
-
-"I will be all discretion--all delicacy. I will only say that I was the
-unsuspecting, the involuntary witness of the incident; and that, as your
-friend, almost, I might say,"--he hesitated, seeking a forcible word in
-place of the one he dared not use,--"your son, I must ask him how much
-Claire knows of it--how far it should interfere with your confidence in
-him."
-
-She was silent for a long moment, her head still turned from him to a
-silhouetted profile against the sky; it was now so much darker that he
-could see little more than its vague black and white, yet he thought
-that, in her stillness, she flushed deeply. In her voice, when she
-spoke, there was the steadiness that nerves itself over a tremor, yet
-there was, too, a greater relief. "Well," she said. The word assented to
-all he asked. She did not look at him again, and presently, as the music
-had ceased, rose and went into the room. Claire was pointing out to
-Monsieur Daunay a picture in a magazine, apparently all placidity; but
-in a moment near the parting, while Madame Vicaud, with an equal calm,
-stood speaking to Monsieur Daunay near the piano, Claire said to Damier,
-quietly but intently:
-
-"You have not betrayed me to Mamma?"
-
-"Betrayed you?" Damier questioned, ice in his voice.
-
-"Him, rather," she amended. "Not that there is anything to betray, only
-Mamma would find it so shocking that a married man should be in love
-with me; he is so _bete_--Monsieur Daunay--to have forgotten that you
-were out there."
-
-"I must tell you that your mother guessed that I had seen something. I
-told her what I had seen, that he loved you, though not that you seemed
-to accept his love."
-
-For a moment she gazed into his eyes, at first with a gravity that
-studied him, and then with a light effrontery. "Accept it! _par
-exemple!_" she exclaimed, and she put her hand on his arm with a
-half-caressing reassurance. "Set your mind at rest! I am only sorry for
-him. Meet me to-morrow morning at ten at the Porte Dauphine; we can have
-a little walk in the Bois. I want to tell you all about it."
-
-Monsieur Daunay was going, and Damier, as he turned from Claire, met
-Madame Vicaud's eyes. Their wide, dark gaze was, for the instant in
-which she let him see it, piteous and almost wild. He interpreted their
-fear, though he could not quite define their question. All the mother
-was in them. Did he despise her child, as others did? He mustered his
-bravest, most gravely confident smile, in answer to them, as he pressed
-her hand in parting. For another instant they met his, saw his smile,
-and answered it with a look tragically grateful in one so proud. He had
-never stood so near her as at that moment.
-
-Damier went out with the Frenchman, and once in the cool, dim street, he
-dashed at the subject: "Monsieur Daunay, I must at once tell you that
-inadvertently this evening, through your own indiscretion, I discovered
-your secret. You are a married man; you are Madame Vicaud's trusted
-friend; and you love her daughter."
-
-Monsieur Daunay stopped short in the street, exasperation rather than
-embarrassment in his face. He fixed Damier with very steady and very
-hostile eyes.
-
-"And what then?" he asked.
-
-"You have a perfect right," said Damier, "to ask what business it is of
-mine, and I can only answer that I, too, am a trusted friend of Madame
-Vicaud's, and, Monsieur Daunay, a friend whom she can trust."
-
-"Ah, Monsieur Damier, you have--I do not deny it--more rights than I,
-who have none," said Daunay, in a voice the bitterness of which was a
-revelation to Damier. "I have no rights, only misfortunes. Why not add
-that you are Madame Vicaud's trusted friend, and that you, too, love her
-daughter?"
-
-Damier felt a relief disproportionate, he realized, to any suspicions he
-had allowed himself to recognize. The atmosphere, after the unexpected
-thunderclap, was immensely cleared. Monsieur Daunay was jealous, and
-Monsieur Daunay was evidently piteous only. With all the vigor of a
-sudden release from bondage, he exclaimed: "You are utterly mistaken; I
-have no such rights: I do not love Mademoiselle Vicaud."
-
-"What do you say?" Monsieur Daunay's astonishment was almost blank.
-
-"I do not love her in the very least."
-
-"Then," stammered the Frenchman, "we are not rivals? You can then pity
-me--I am jealous with none of the rights of jealousy."
-
-"None of the rights?" Damier eyed him.
-
-"None, monsieur; Madame Vicaud's trust in me is not unfounded," said
-Monsieur Daunay, with something of a slightly ludicrous grandiloquence.
-
-"Yet Mademoiselle Vicaud knows of your attachment."
-
-"I never declared it; she guessed it, perhaps inevitably." They were
-walking on again, and he shrugged his shoulders. "_Que voulez-vous?_ She
-has a certain tenderness for me that gives perception, and I adore
-her--but adore her, you understand." Damier was understanding and not at
-all disliking this victim of the glamour--or, was it not deeper than
-that? Something in the Frenchman's voice touched him. Would Claire ever
-arouse a deeper affection than this? Not only had she cast her glamour
-upon him: he evidently loved her--"but adore her, you understand," as he
-had said in his expressive French.
-
-His hands clasped behind him, Monsieur Daunay, with now a reminiscent
-confidence, shook his head and sighed profoundly. "_Que voulez-vous?_"
-he repeated. "Since her girlhood it has been with me a hidden passion.
-_Ce que j'ai souffert!_" He showed no antagonism now, no resentment;
-Damier could but be grateful.
-
-"Claire has not suffered through me," he went on. "She allows me to love
-her, but she knows that she is free. What can I claim?--an honorable
-man, and shackled. Yet--I have always hoped that she might, generously
-and nobly, keep an unclaimed faith with me. I have claimed none, and yet
-she has assured me that, as yet, she loves no other. I have needed the
-assurance of late--I confess it. Your apparent courtship I could not
-reproach her with,--though it tore my heart,--but her permission of this
-ill-omened Lord Epsil's attentions filled me with consternation; I have
-felt myself justified in reproaching her for her _legerete_ in regard to
-this."
-
-"But," said Damier, after a slight pause, "this unclaimed faith--how do
-you expect her to keep it?"
-
-There was a touch of embarrassment in Monsieur Daunay's voice as he
-answered: "My wife and I have, for years, been on most unfortunate
-terms; I have no reproaches to address myself on her account. She is a
-confirmed invalid, and of late her condition has been critical. One must
-not hope for certain contingencies--one must not, indeed, admit the
-thought of them too often; but--if they did arise--"
-
-"I see," said Damier, gravely; "you could claim her. It is, indeed, a
-most unpleasant contingency. Would it not be for Claire's happiness if
-you were not to see her again until it arose?"
-
-"Ah, no," said Daunay, with something of weariness; "ah, no; her
-happiness is not involved. Claire--I speak frankly; my affection for her
-has never blinded me--Claire is not easily made unhappy by her
-sympathies. It is only myself I hurt by remaining near her, by seeing
-her, as I constantly imagine, on the point of abandoning me. But to
-leave her--you ask of me more than I am capable of doing."
-
-Later, when Damier told him of Madame Vicaud's knowledge of the
-situation, Monsieur Daunay heaved another, not regretful, sigh.
-
-"It is as well. I will say to her what I have said to you. She will be
-generous; she will understand."
-
-Damier felt oddly, when he parted with him, that he might trust Monsieur
-Daunay, but that he trusted Claire less than ever.
-
-
-
-
-XIII
-
-
-NEXT day, as Damier waited near the Porte Dauphine for
-Claire, he could reflect on his really parental situation, but feeling
-more the irritation than the humor of it. After all, where was his
-authority for this meddling? Why should they submit to it? and why, as a
-result, should he submit to the hearing of Claire's coming
-self-justification? He could spare Madame Vicaud nothing by it, since
-she knew all that there was to know--and since it was better that she
-should know it. He had written to her the night before, on reaching his
-hotel, and told her of the talk with Monsieur Daunay and of the
-impression it had made upon him. He wondered if she had, meanwhile, had
-an equally appeasing talk with Claire.
-
-This young woman appeared quite punctually, walking at a leisurely pace
-along the sanded path, where the full summer foliage cast flickering
-purple shadows. Claire was all in white, white that fluttered about her
-as she walked; her hat, tilted over her eyes, had white wings--like a
-Valkyrie's summer helmet; her white parasol made a shadowed halo behind
-her head. As she approached him she looked at him steadily, with
-something whimsical, quizzical in her gaze, and her first words showed
-no wish to beat about the bush.
-
-"You talked to him last night? I talked a little to Mamma, or rather she
-talked to me. I soon satisfied her that I didn't feel for him, _pas
-grand comme ca d'amour_." Claire indicated the smallness she negatived
-by a quarter of an inch of finger-tip. "And I think I can soon satisfy
-you, too," she added. "He told you everything?"
-
-"Everything."
-
-"And you are terribly shocked that an unmarried young woman should take
-money from a married man who is in love with her? Must I assure you
-that our relations are absolutely innocent?"
-
-In his stupefaction, Damier could hardly have said whether her first
-statement or the coolness of her second remark--its forestalling of a
-suspicion she took for granted in him--were the more striking. Both
-statement and remark revealed her character in a light more lurid than
-even he had been prepared for. He was really unable to do more than
-stare at her. Claire evidently misinterpreted the stare yet more
-outrageously. She had the grace to flush faintly, though her eyes were
-still half ironic, half defiant.
-
-"I do so assure you."
-
-"I did not need the assurance." Damier found his voice, but it was
-hoarse.
-
-Claire, in a little pause, looked her consciousness of having struck a
-very false note.
-
-"And now no assurance would convince you that I am not very low-minded
-and vulgar. Well, I am, I suppose. _Que voulez-vous?_ Only don't be too
-much shocked by my frankness; don't be prudish. A man may be propriety
-itself, but he may not be prudish. Remember that I am twenty-seven, that
-I know my world (though how I have been able to get my knowledge with
-such a dexterously shuffling and shielding Mamma, I don't know), and
-that I think it merely silly to pretend that I don't know it before a
-man with whom I am as intimate as I am with you. Of course, on the face
-of it, to accept money from a married man who is in love with one does
-suggest a situation usually described as immoral."
-
-Damier was feeling choked, feeling, too, that he almost hated Claire, as
-she walked beside him, slowly and lightly, opulently lovely, the flush
-of anger--it was more anger than shame--still on her cheek.
-
-"I must tell you," he said, in a voice steeled to a terrible courtesy,
-"that it is you alone who inform me of your indebtedness to Monsieur
-Daunay's kindness. He, I now see, did not tell me everything."
-
-"What did he tell you, then?" she asked, stopping short in the path and
-fixing her eyes upon him, in her voice a rough, almost a plebeian,
-note.
-
-"That he adored you, and that he could be trusted."
-
-"Well, he can be!" She broke into a hard laugh. "_Le cher bon Daunay!_ I
-thought that of course he would paint a piteous picture of his woes. And
-now you are furious with me because I supposed that, as a man of the
-world, you might unfairly, yet naturally, imagine more than he told
-you."
-
-Damier made no reply.
-
-"You are furious, are you not?"
-
-"I am disgusted, but not for that reason only."
-
-"You think I am in love with him!" She stopped again in the narrow path.
-"I swear to you that I am not!" He would have interrupted her, but her
-volubility swept past his attempt. "If he had been free I would have
-married him--I own it; at one time, at least, I would have married him.
-I am French in my freedom from sentimental complications on that
-subject. I could have found no other man in this country willing to
-marry a dotless girl. I should have preferred, of course, a _mariage
-d'amour_; but, given my circumstances, could I have found anything more
-desirable than a kind, generous, and adoring friend like Monsieur
-Daunay?"
-
-"I should say certainly not,"--Damier waited with a cold patience until
-she had finished,--"but again you have misinterpreted me; I am disgusted
-not because you love Monsieur Daunay, but because you do not love him."
-
-At this, after a stare, Claire gave a loud laugh.
-
-"Ah!--_c'est trop fort!_ You can't make me believe that you want me to
-love him."
-
-"I don't want you to love him; but I say that the circumstances would be
-more to your credit if you did."
-
-Her face now showed a mingled relief and perplexity.
-
-"Ah, it is the money, then--that I should accept it!"
-
-"Can I make no appeal to you for your mother's sake--for the sake of
-your own dignity?"
-
-"I can take care of my own dignity, Mr. Damier." The relief was showing
-in her quieter voice, her fading flush. "I see how angry you are--and
-only because I have not pretended with you. Let me explain. I never
-pretend with you: I can only explain. I must begin at the beginning to
-do it; and the beginning and the end is our poverty. Mamma had a
-pittance left to her, a year or so after my father's death, by some
-relations, and that, since then, has been our only _pied-a-terre_. She
-would never accept the allowance, quite a generous one, too, that her
-family wished to make her. I don't want to blame her; I know how you
-feel about her; I appreciate it. But it was, I must say it, very selfish
-of her; she should have thought more of me--the luckless result of her
-mesalliance--and less of her own pride. I really hardly know how she
-brought me up: though, I own, she gave me a good education; I was always
-at school during my father's life--she avoided _that_ soil for me, you
-may be sure! I give her credit for all that; she must have worked hard
-to do it. But she owed me all she could get for me, and, I must say, she
-did not pay the debt." Claire had been looking before her as she talked,
-but now she looked at Damier, and something implacable, coldly enduring,
-in his eye warned her that her present line of exculpation was not
-serving her. "Don't imagine, now, that I am complaining--ungrateful,"
-she said a little petulantly. "I know--as well as you do--what a good
-mother she has been to me. I only want to show you that she is not
-altogether blameless--that she is responsible, in more ways than one,
-for me--for what I am. Let it pass, though. When I came home, a young
-girl, full of life and eager for enjoyment, what did I find? Poverty,
-labor, obscurity. It was an ugly, a meager existence she had prepared
-for me, and, absolutely, with a certain pride in it! She expected me to
-enjoy work, shabby clothes, grave pursuits, as much as she did, or, at
-all events, not to mind them. Plain living, high thinking--that was her
-idea of happiness for me!" Insensibly the ironic note had grown again in
-her voice. "I remember, too, at first, her taking me to see poor people
-in horrid places--expecting me to talk to them, sing to them; I soon put
-a stop to that. At her age, with a ruined life, it is natural that one
-should wish to devote one's self to _bonnes-oeuvres;_ but for me, _ah,
-par exemple!_" Claire gave a coarse laugh. "I had not quite come to
-that! She gave me the best she had--all she had, you will say; I own it:
-but not all she might have had. And then she need not have expected me
-to enjoy--should not have been aggrieved, wounded, because I only
-endured. Again,--I am not unjust,--it was not all high thinking; she had
-her schemes for my amusement--_d'une simplicite!_ Really, for such a
-clever woman, Mamma can be dull! And the people we knew! We had a
-right--you know it--to _le vrai grand monde_. You know it, and you are
-trying, now, to help me to it. But Mamma did not try. With a little
-management she might have regained her place in it; but no--her pride
-again! She seemed to think that _she_ was _le grand monde_, and that I
-ought to be satisfied with that! And now, with all this, you think it
-strange--_disgusting_--that when I saw that Daunay--_le pauvre!_--was in
-love with me I should ask him to continue to the daughter the aid that
-he had extended to the father! There again, for a clever woman, Mamma is
-dull--though her dullness has been to my advantage. She can make money,
-she can avoid spending it, but she has little conception of its value;
-she does the housekeeping, and, after that, she leaves the management of
-our resources to me. She is funnily gullible about the price of my
-clothes; the lessons I give would hardly keep me in shoes and
-stockings--as I understand shoes and stockings!" Claire laughed. "This
-dress that I have on--Mamma imagines it is made by a little dressmaker
-whom I am clever enough to guide with my taste. I take out the name on
-the waist-band and she is none the wiser. This dress is a Doucet." There
-was now quite a blithe complacency in Claire's voice. "And I have always
-considered myself amply excusable," she went on, "in accepting the small
-pleasures that life offered me. Of course it has really not been much
-that I have been able to accept--though he would willingly--and he is
-not rich--give more. Jewels, for instance, I have never dared
-attempt--nor even many dresses; that would have been incautious. For
-Mamma, of course, must never know; she would be inexpressibly shocked. I
-can see her face!"
-
-So could Damier. He was conscious of almost a wish to be brutal to
-Claire, physically brutal--to strike her to the dust where she dragged
-the image of his well beloved; but, after a moment, he said in a voice
-quiet enough: "You must tell her now; you must tell her everything."
-
-Claire stopped short in the path. "Tell her!"
-
-"You must, indeed." The full rigor of his eyes met the astonishment of
-hers.
-
-"Never!" said Claire, and in French, as if for a more personal and
-intimate emphasis, she repeated: "_Jamais!_"
-
-"I will, then; it is an outrage not to tell her."
-
-Their eyes measured each other's resolution.
-
-"If you do," said Claire, "shall I tell you with what I retaliate? I
-will run away with Monsieur Daunay. Yes; I speak seriously. I would
-prefer not to be pushed to that extremity, but I sometimes think that I
-am getting a little tired of respectability _au quatrieme_. It isn't
-good enough, as you English say; I get no interest on my investment. To
-tell her! Now, of all times, when I so need the money, when the small
-gaieties and pleasures you have brought into my life depend on my having
-it, making an appearance! She would not let me take it. She would be
-glacial--and firm. Oh, I have had scenes with her! I could not stand any
-more."
-
-For once Claire was fully vehement, her cheeks flaming, her eyes at once
-threatening and appealing. He could hardly believe her serious, and yet
-she silenced him--indeed, she terrified him. Claire read the terror in
-his wide eyes and whitening lips. Her look suddenly grew soft, humorous.
-She slipped her hand inside his arm.
-
-Involuntarily he started from her, then, repenting, for even while he so
-loathed her he had never found her so piteous, "I beg your pardon--but
-you horrify me too much."
-
-"Come, come," she said, and, unresentfully, though with some
-determination, she secured his arm, "don't take me _au pied de la
-lettre_. I am not really in earnest; you know that; I had to use a
-threat--had to frighten you. Come." That she had been able so thoroughly
-to frighten him seemed to have restored in her her old air of
-complacent mastery. "You are wide-minded, clever, kind. Don't misjudge
-me. Don't push me to the wall. Don't apply impossible standards to me.
-See me as I am. By nature, by temperament, I am simply a bohemian. It
-isn't my fault if my mother happens to be a saint, and a horribly
-well-bred saint; it really isn't my fault if she has handed on to me
-neither of those qualities. I am perfectly frank with you. From the
-first I felt that I could be frank with you; I felt that you understood
-me; don't tell me now that I was mistaken."
-
-"I do understand you," said Damier, "but you horrify me none the less."
-
-"I horrify you because I am a creature thwarted, distorted; nothing is
-more ugly or repulsive--but if I had had a chance!"
-
-"What would a chance have done for you? You have had every chance to be
-noble and loving and happy--yes, happy."
-
-"But not in my own way!--not in my own way!" she cried, and now she
-clasped both hands on his arm and leaned against his shoulder as she
-looked into his face. "I needed power and wealth--all the real
-foundations of happiness and nobility. Then--ah, then I should have
-blossomed. Or else, failing them, I needed liberty and joy--the life of
-a bohemian. I have had neither the one nor the other, and if I seem
-almost wicked to you it is because of that; for, to me, wickedness means
-going against one's nature. I have always been forced to go against
-mine; I have never had a chance."
-
-Damier gave a mirthless laugh. "On the contrary, to me wickedness means
-going with one's nature."
-
-"Ah, there we differ; and yet we understand."
-
-Again he had that feeling of perplexity and irritation. Her eyes, the
-clasp of her hands upon his arm, irked and troubled him, and without,
-now, any sense of glamour in the trouble and irritation. She seemed to
-make too great a claim upon his understanding, and to rely too much
-upon some conviction of her own charm that could dare any frankness just
-because it was so sure of triumph. He felt that at the moment he did not
-understand her; he felt, too, that he did not want to--that he was tired
-of understanding her.
-
-"You are an unhappy creature, Claire," he said. They were nearing the
-Porte Dauphine, and while he spoke with a full yet distant gravity,
-Damier looked about for a fiacre. "An unhappy creature with an
-unawakened soul."
-
-"Will you try to wake it, the poor thing?" asked Claire. She still held
-his arm, though he had tried to disengage it, and though she spoke
-softly, there was a vague hardness in her eyes, as though she felt the
-new hardness in him, though as yet not quite interpreting its finality.
-
-"I shouldn't know how to: I am helpless before it. It should be made to
-suffer," he said. A cab had answered his summons, and he handed her into
-it. "No, I cannot go home with you," he said. "Are you going home?"
-
-"I am going to lunch with old Mademoiselle Daunay, and see Monsieur
-Daunay there. I had no chance to speak to him last night." Claire,
-sitting straightly in the open cab, had an expression of perplexity and
-of growing resentment on her face; but as he merely bowed and was about
-to turn away, she started forward and put her hand on his shoulder.
-
-"Are you going to make it suffer?" she asked. He looked into her eyes.
-He did not understand her, but he saw in them a demand at once alluring
-and threatening. His one instinct was to deny strongly whatever she
-demanded, though he did not know what that was.
-
-"I have no mission toward your soul, Claire," he said. For another
-moment the eyes that threatened and allured dwelt on his; then, calling
-out the address to the cabman, she was driven away.
-
-
-
-
-XIV
-
-
-ON Damier's return to his hotel early in the afternoon,
-he found a note from Madame Vicaud awaiting him. "Monsieur Daunay has
-just been here," it said, "and destiny has strangely brought this matter
-to a crisis. His wife is dead, and he has asked me for Claire's hand,
-feeling that his false position toward me demanded an immediate
-reparation. He hopes and believes that she loves him; but this, as both
-you and I must know, is impossible. I am saddened and confused by the
-whole situation. I do not blame them, but to me it is all displeasing,
-even shocking--this haste to profit by the wife's opportune death most
-of all. Will you come and see me? Claire is lunching at his cousin's,
-and he will find her there. I told him to speak to her himself, as I
-felt that to act the maternal part of intermediary between them would
-now be mere formalism and affectation; so I am alone. You will want to
-speak to me, I know."
-
-Damier, as he drove to the Rue B----, speculated on the rather
-mystifying significance of the last sentence. He always wanted to speak
-to her: that she must know; but why now in particular? Since his
-interview with Claire that morning he had felt almost too shaken by pity
-for the mother to trust himself with her. He would not be able to help
-her with counsel and consolation; he would not be able to think of
-Claire; and at this turning-point in Claire's life it was for that that
-the mother needed him.
-
-He found her standing in the salon, evidently pausing to meet him, in a
-restless pacing to and fro. Her eyes dwelt on him gently and very
-gravely while she took his hand.
-
-"Who could have expected this swift denouement? But it is best," she
-said, "and I pitied him very deeply."
-
-"Pitied him--for the past, you mean?" Damier questioned.
-
-"Oh, for the future more!"
-
-Damier wondered over her eyes, over the something tremulous in her
-smile.
-
-"I saw Claire this morning," he said. "We talked over the matter; she
-wished to see me."
-
-Madame Vicaud showed no surprise at this piece of information. "Ah, yes;
-I understand," she said.
-
-"She certainly told me that she did not love him," Damier went on, "and
-yet--" He paused, not quite knowing how to put to her his hope that
-Claire now would reconsider the situation, his hope that she would marry
-Monsieur Daunay.
-
-It would be the solution of all difficulties, the best solution
-possible, and the situation could then be defined anew in terms that he
-more and more deeply longed for. He hardly dared, even yet, before her
-unconsciousness, define it, and turning away from her, he walked down
-the room, urging himself to a courage great enough to enable him now to
-speak to her what was in his heart. Madame Vicaud was watching him
-thoughtfully when he faced her again at the end of the room, and with
-still that look of controlled emotion.
-
-"I, also, have something to tell you," he said.
-
-"Yes," she assented quietly, yet with the look evidently braced,
-steeled, in preparation for what she was to hear.
-
-"Can you guess?" he asked.
-
-She was standing now, strangely, in the attitude of the little
-photograph--leaning on the back of a high chair; and her eyes recalled
-yet more strangely the intentness of the picture's eyes as she said:
-"You have come to tell me that you love my daughter?"
-
-He was so deeply astonished, so completely thrown back upon himself,
-that for a long moment he could only gaze helplessly into the eyes'
-insolubility.
-
-"No," he said at last; "I did not come to tell you that."
-
-"But you do love her?" Madame Vicaud inquired, with something of gentle
-urgency in her voice, as though she helped his shyness. "Be frank with
-me, my friend; I have guessed so much more, seen so much more, than you
-told me or showed me. Even with all that saddens you, that pains you,
-you do love her--enough to overlook the pain and sadness?"
-
-"No," said Damier, still facing her from his distance, "I do not love
-her. I have never needed to overlook anything."
-
-Plainly it was her turn to be astonished, thrown back upon herself.
-
-"But, from the beginning, has that not been your meaning?"
-
-"You, only, have been my meaning."
-
-He saw that her thought, in its disarray, could not pause upon his
-interpretation of these words. She had straightened herself, both hands
-on the chair-back, and her wide gaze, her parted lips, and the vivid
-wonder and surmise in her face made her look curiously young.
-
-"You have, from the first, been so much with her--seemed to take so much
-interest in her--seemed so to understand her; she was so open--so
-intimate--"
-
-"She is your daughter."
-
-"But that, I thought, added to the certainty: you must, I thought, love
-my daughter--"
-
-He was forced to beat a retreat for a moment of disentanglement; and,
-suddenly, disentanglement seemed to demand a cutting sincerity.
-
-"I don't, in the very least, love Claire; I have never, in the very
-least, loved her; I have only been sorry for her."
-
-"Sorry for her? Because of her dull, bleak life? Ah, have I not been
-sorry, too?"
-
-"But I not for that," said Damier, "not for that; but because she made
-me so sorry for you; because"--and he looked at her--"because you do not
-love her."
-
-He was still at a distance from her, and across it her look met his in
-a long silence.
-
-Then a strange, a tragic thing happened to her. He had before seen her
-flush faintly; but it was now a deep, an agonizing blush that slowly
-rose and darkened in her face. The revelation of look and blush was long
-before she leaned her elbows on the chair-back and covered her face with
-her hands.
-
-"Forgive me!" Damier murmured. He felt as if he had stabbed her. He came
-to her, and, half kneeling on the chair before her, he longed, but did
-not dare, to put his arms around her and sweep away this complication,
-and all the others--ah, the others?--the years and years of them that
-rolled between them!--in a full and final confession. "Forgive me for
-seeing--it is not your fault; it is my clear-sightedness--"
-
-She made no reply.
-
-"You try to understand her, but she is alien to you. She tears at every
-fiber of you. There is nothing in her that does not hurt you," Damier
-said, hastening to speak all the truth, since the moment inevitably had
-come for it.
-
-Madame Vicaud lifted her head.
-
-"I do understand her," she said. She did not look at him. Straightening
-her shoulders, drawing a long breath, she walked away from him to the
-window; there, her back to him, she added, the truth seemingly forced
-from her as it had been from him, "And I hate her."
-
-Damier remained leaning against the chair. The situation, in its
-strangeness, dazed him. But looking at her figure, dark against the
-light, he was able to say: "I even guessed that--almost."
-
-"Yet you do not hate her," she said, after a pause of some moments,
-speaking without moving or turning her head.
-
-Damier paused too. "I have not your reasons," he said at last.
-
-"Ah, my reasons! Yes." She turned to him now, as though she saw in him
-an accusing world, and faced it in an attitude of desperate
-self-justification.
-
-"They began with her father," said Damier.
-
-"I hated him," she said. Her eyes looked through him, fixed on the abyss
-of the past. "I hated him. He was abhorrent to me. I lived with him for
-fifteen years--fifteen long, long years. I bore his brutality, his
-wickedness--I am not the woman to use the word prudishly--I can make
-allowances--wide ones--for temperament, environment, all the mitigating
-causes: but my husband's wickedness was unimaginably vile; to see it
-stained one's thoughts." The memory of it, as she spoke, had chilled her
-to a drawn and frozen pallor; it was as though the blighting breath of
-the past went across her face, aging it, emptying it of life.
-
-"I bore the ruin he brought; that was nothing--a spur to love, had love
-been possible. I bore his serene, inflexible selfishness. The only thing
-I would not bear"--and she still looked full at Damier, but with the
-same unseeing largeness of gaze--"was his love. _His_ love!" She turned
-and walked across the room. Damier felt his own flesh shudder as he
-looked behind the curtain her words lifted, felt his own heart freeze in
-the aching sympathy of its comprehension. He could not speak to her. It
-seemed to him that she stood at a great distance from him and would not
-hear him. Her voice, when she spoke again, had less of its haunting
-terror, but it still thrilled with a deep and tragic note: "All this, as
-thousands of women have done, because it was my duty--to help him--to
-uphold him--to stand by him unflinchingly, and--because he was _her_
-father. You said that my reasons for hating her began with him. Ah, but
-he was my reason for loving her so desperately--with such a longing to
-atone to her for him. I gave her all the love he had crushed out of me.
-You see his picture there; I have schooled myself, so that she may not
-feel the smirch of him through my horror, to bear the sight of him, to
-say to myself every day, 'That is the face I loved.' Oh, what
-madness!--what madness!" She pressed her hands hard upon her eyes. "Some
-day, perhaps,--since I tell you everything,--I will tell you that story,
-too--my love-story. The memory of it is like a block of lead upon my
-heart." Her hands fell, but the memory made her silent, and for a long
-moment she stood looking down. "But all was hidden from her: the
-dread,--that soon passed--I was the stronger, he came to feel it, dread
-fell from me,--the hate that followed it, and the final, the terrible
-pity,--for I came to pity him when he hung about my life, helpless, like
-a torn and dirty rag,--all that was hidden from her. I kept her lifted
-out of the mud he dragged us down to; she never saw its depths. While he
-lived, and while he was dying,--and horrible to see and hear,--she was
-at a school. Those days!" She paused and turned away, and then went on:
-"It was in the winter. Lessons fell away; there was the school, the
-doctor, all the expenses of an illness to be met. I went into the
-streets of nights, a man carrying my harp, and sang for money; I had a
-voice till then, and I braved more than the snow and the night to do it:
-I was still beautiful. This that you may see how I loved her, how I
-struggled for her, how like any mother, though now I seem so hard--so
-hideously unnatural. Ah, I fought--I cannot tell you, you cannot guess,
-how I fought for her. And then, he died, and then there was for me peace
-and the blossoming of delicious hope. She and I together, saved from the
-wreck. It seemed to me that I had battled through waves, past rocks and
-whirlpools, holding her to my breast, and had reached the shore at
-last--she alive for me, and I for her. And then--ah, then! The
-shipwreck, the years of struggle, were crude tragedy to my gradual
-realizing of the subtle disaster that was to poison my life forever.
-Year by year I saw it coming--I saw him creeping into her. I saw the
-grave purpose settle round her lips--the steady greed for self. I saw
-his smile in her eyes; his eyes were beautiful like hers: when I first
-looked at them, I thought them full of splendid dreams, noble strength.
-She was not cruel, or brutal, or vicious, as he had been. She submitted
-placidly; she submitted, and I hoped for happiness. I could not make her
-happy or unhappy. I meant nothing to her except the thing that fed and
-clothed her. She took what I could give, and waited for what I could not
-give. She lied only when the truth would not serve her purpose better;
-so, often, she was frank with me. Her grave laugh maddened me, and her
-indifferent adapting of herself to me--for expediency, not for love. If
-only she had become a gentle and beautiful animal, to guard from its own
-instincts! but she is an animal of such hideous intelligence; she knows
-when I try to guard her, and evades me. Like him, she is corrupt to the
-core of her; not--do not misunderstand me--that she would do wrong in a
-conventional sense--and that it is conventional wrong-doing that I
-dread she has always pretended to read into my horror of evil, making a
-plaster saint of me so that she may more easily evade the deeply
-understanding woman of flesh and blood. Hers is the worse corruption,
-that calculates chances, chooses and manages. It is there in her, I
-know, though, in its worst forms, latent still--I think."
-
-Damier, white already, felt himself blanch before the rapid glance, like
-a sword-stroke across his face, that she cast upon him. She guessed at
-all his knowledge.
-
-Again she turned away and walked up and down the room.
-
-"Hideous, hideous that I should speak so to you, and to you I hoped, yet
-dreaded--You will wonder how I could have hoped it; how, knowing this, I
-should not have warned you. But at first I did not think it possible,
-though I knew her charm; at first I did not understand you, and, not
-understanding, I guarded you. And then I saw your generous, your
-pitiful heart, and I saw that it understood Claire, that perhaps you
-understood her better than I did. With you she was her best self; she
-trusted you, it seemed, so utterly. I hoped that yours was the clearer
-vision, that I was warped, no longer capable of true seeing. Yet, when
-the friendship that I rejoiced in grew, as I thought, into love, there
-was a terrible struggle in me. My strong attachment to you--you who had
-opened the prison gates that shut me into my misery, who brought me out
-of a loneliness so long, so bitter--ah! my friend, do not think that I
-have not seen and felt it all; but I could not speak to you as I might
-have spoken had it not been for that struggle in me between the justice
-owed to you--yet that you did not seem to need--and the duty to her--not
-to withhold, for your sake, a possibility that might redeem her. My mind
-was fixed in that struggle; of our friendship, yours and mine, I could
-not think clearly. If you had been ignorant, if she had hidden herself
-from you, I should have sacrificed her unflinchingly to you; I should
-have interposed and shown her to you. But she showed herself to you. I
-knew, from my knowledge of you, that she would not attract you as she
-attracts most men, not nobly. I saw from her looks with you, her words,
-that she would make no efforts so to attract you. I must say all to you,
-since you must understand all. Claire does not love you, but you attract
-what is best in her. She relies, I have guessed it, upon the very pathos
-of her moral ugliness to enchant you, to arouse in you the chivalrous,
-redemptive qualities she sees in you. And I grew to hope that you saw
-something that I could not see. I even began to feel a blind, groping
-tenderness for her through your fancied tenderness; and as I allowed
-myself to hope that you loved her, I allowed myself to have faith in the
-redeeming power of your love."
-
-She stood before him now, looking at him with saddest eyes; and Damier,
-answering them, shook his head.
-
-"Alas, no. It would have been my story over again, the positions
-reversed, and you without my illusions, had you loved her, married her;
-and yet, it was because you had no illusions that I hoped."
-
-But Damier could not think of dead hopes.
-
-"What you have suffered!" he said.
-
-"Yes," Madame Vicaud answered, "I have suffered; but do not, in your
-kindness, your tenderness, exaggerate. I have suffered, but all has not
-been black. There have been flowers on the uphill road. I don't believe
-in a woe that is blind to them, or to the sky overhead."
-
-But she still stood looking at dead hopes, not thinking of him.
-
-"Clara," said Damier.
-
-She was a woman of deep understanding, yet even now,--and hardly was it
-to be wondered at, so lifted through its very intensity was his love for
-her above love's ordinary manifestations,--even now her name so gravely
-spoken by him had no further meaning for her than the one openly,
-proudly, joyously accepted, the meaning of the strange tie that had
-united them; but, while she accepted it, his look startled her. It
-showed nothing new, but seemed to interpret newly something she had not
-recognized before. Smiling faintly, she said:
-
-"You have a right."
-
-"Not the right I would have." He felt no excitement, only the enraptured
-solemnity that a soul might feel in some quiet dawn of heaven on finding
-another soul parted from years ago on earth--long sought for, long
-loved.
-
-She said nothing, her dark eyes fixing him with a wonder that was
-already a recognition.
-
-"I love you," said Damier. He had not moved toward her, nor had she
-moved away. A little distance separated them, and they stood silently
-looking at each other.
-
-"You mean--" she said at last.
-
-"I mean in every way in which it is possible for a man to love the woman
-he worships."
-
-The whirl of her mind mirrored itself in the stricken stupefaction of
-her wan, beautiful features. She caught at one flashing thought. "And
-I--her mother! You might have been my son!"
-
-"No; I might not," Damier affirmed.
-
-"By age; I am old enough."
-
-"I know your age; you are forty-seven," said Damier, able to smile at
-her, "and I am thirty. If you were seventy-seven, the only difference
-would be that I could have fewer years to spend with you; I should wish
-to spend them just the same. As it is, your age does not make us
-ludicrous before the world, if we were to consider that."
-
-At this she turned from him as if in impatience at this quibbling, and
-her own endurance of it, at such a moment.
-
-"My friend! That this should have happened to you!"
-
-"Can it never happen to you?" he asked.
-
-"I would never allow it to happen to me."
-
-"It would not be to look up at the sky--it would not even be to stoop to
-a flower?"
-
-"I would not allow myself to look, or to stoop, knowing that after I had
-looked and gathered, the flower would wither, the sky be black."
-
-He saw, as she gazed steadily round at him, that the gaze was through
-tears. Clasping his hands with a supplication that was, indeed, more the
-worshiper's than the lover's, Eustace said:
-
-"But would you--would you stoop?"
-
-"I cannot answer that; I cannot think the answer. Your friendship has
-led me away from the rocky wastes into the sweetest, the serenest
-meadows." Though she spoke with complete self-mastery, the tears ran
-down as she said these words, and she turned her face away. "I should be
-culpable indeed if I allowed you to lead me aside into a fool's
-paradise, with a precipice waiting for you in the middle of it. I shall
-be an old woman while you are still a young man."
-
-"Beloved woman, can you not believe that, young or old, you are the same
-to me? I have not fallen in love with you--I have found you. When I saw
-your face in the old picture I knew that it was mine."
-
-"The face of a girl. I was nineteen then."
-
-"Do not juggle with the truth. Your face now is dearer to me than the
-girl's face. Your heart, I believe, is nearer mine than you know. That
-struggle in you when you imagined that I loved Claire, was it not, in
-part, the struggle of a sacrifice? Did you not submit because you
-thought that the side of self-sacrifice must be the right side?"
-
-Still her face was turned from him, and after a silence she said,
-"Perhaps."
-
-"And if this were our last moment--if there were no question of age or
-of going on--then--then would you tell me that you have felt something
-of my feeling--the finding--the recognition--the rapture--own to it with
-joy?"
-
-She turned to him now and looked at him, at his eager, solemn face, the
-supplication and worship of his clasped hands, looked for a long time,
-without speaking. But her face, though she was so white and so grave,
-seemed, as she looked, to reflect, with a growing radiance, the youth in
-his.
-
-"I have felt it," she said at last, "but I have hardly known that I felt
-it."
-
-"You know now?"
-
-"Yes, I know now."
-
-"You could own to it--with joy?"
-
-"If this were our last moment.--Ah, my friend!" He had taken her into
-his arms.
-
-The long years drifted away like illusions before an awakening. Her
-girl-hood--but weighted with such dreams of sorrow and loneliness!--seemed
-with her again. She was helpless, though her heart reproached him and
-herself, yet could not wholly reproach--helpless in a happiness poignant
-and exquisite. They kissed each other gently, and, his arms around her,
-they looked earnestly at each other. Speechlessly they looked the
-finding, the recognition, the rapture.
-
-The meeting in heaven had come; but there was still the earth to be
-counted with.
-
-
-
-
-XV
-
-
-AS they heard the tinkle of the entrance-bell, Claire's
-voice, her step outside, Madame Vicaud moved away from Damier. She was
-seated in a chair near the table, and the young man stood beside her,
-when Claire entered.
-
-Claire paused in the doorway and looked sullenly, yet hardly
-suspiciously, at them. She had never worn a mask for Damier, yet he saw
-in her flushed and somber face something new to him, saw that she lacked
-some quality--was it confidence, indifference, placidity?--that he had
-always found in her. He guessed in a moment that her interview with
-Monsieur Daunay had not been a propitious one.
-
-"I did not expect to see you so soon again, and under such suddenly
-changed circumstances," she said to him. "What are you talking about?
-Me?" She took off her hat,--the day was sultry,--pushed up her thick
-hair, and dropped her length of ruffled, clinging white into a chair.
-"So; I have seen Monsieur Daunay. He lost no time, it seems. He asked my
-hand of you first, I hear, Mamma, in proper form--_tres
-convenablement_."
-
-"Yes," Madame Vicaud assented with composure.
-
-"It seems that you discouraged him."
-
-"I could not encourage him from what you had told me, but from what he
-told me it seems that you did not discourage him," the mother answered.
-
-"I have never been in a position to discourage any useful possibility,"
-said Claire.
-
-Madame Vicaud, in silence, and with something of a lion-tamer's calm
-intentness of eye, looked at her daughter; and Claire, after meeting the
-look with one frankly hostile, turned her eyes on Damier.
-
-"And it seems that you, last night, did not discourage Monsieur Daunay's
-hopes; he spoke of you with gratitude. What have you to say to it all
-now?"
-
-"I have nothing to say to it; it has always been your affair--yours and
-his."
-
-"You made it yours, it seems to me!"
-
-"Unwillingly."
-
-"Oh--unwillingly!" Claire laughed her ugliest laugh. "I don't understand
-you, Mr. Damier--I began not to understand you this morning"; and, as he
-made no reply:
-
-"Your present silence doesn't accord with your past interference."
-
-"My silence? What do you expect me to say?" Damier asked, with real
-wonder, forgetting the mother's intimations.
-
-"Can you deny that--apart from your feelings of angered propriety--you
-were pitifully jealous last night and this morning? I had to assure you
-again and again that I did not love him--the truth, as it happens."
-
-This speech now opened such vistas of interpretation to the past--of
-interrogation to the future--that Damier could only, speechlessly, look
-his wonder at her.
-
-"Were you not jealous?" she demanded.
-
-"Not in the faintest degree."
-
-Her flush deepened at this, an angry, not an embarrassed, flush.
-
-"And what, then, was your motive for prying, meddling, cross-questioning
-as you did? You had a motive?"
-
-"I have always had an interest in your welfare, Claire, but your mother
-was my motive for meddling and cross-questioning, as you put it."
-
-"Oh--my mother!" Claire tossed her a look where she sat, her arms
-folded, near the table. "You were afraid for my honor since hers was
-involved in it? Was that it?"
-
-"Perhaps that was it--and for the same reason I beg you to spare your
-mother now."
-
-Claire leaned back in her chair and fixed upon him a heavy stare above
-her heavy flush. "Come," she said, "I have never had pretenses with
-you--I have always been frank. Do you intend to marry me? There it is
-clearly; I have no false delicacy, and, bon Dieu! you have given me
-every right to ask the question."
-
-Madame Vicaud, soundless at the table, now leaned her elbows upon it and
-covered her face with her hands. "Come," Claire repeated, casting
-another look upon her; "for Mamma's sake, you owe me an answer. Spare
-her the shame--she feels it bitterly, you observe--of seeing my
-outrageous uncertainty prolonged. Haven't you spent all your time with
-me? Haven't you taken upon yourself a position of authority toward
-me--made my affairs your own? Aren't you going to--how would Mamma put
-it?--redeem me--lift me? Or are you going to let my soul suffer a little
-longer?"
-
-"You could hardly speak so, Claire, if you spoke sincerely," said
-Damier; "you may once have misinterpreted my friendship for you, but you
-no longer misinterpret it. I have never intended to marry you. It is
-you, remember, who force me into this ugly attitude. I could not face
-you in it, were I not sure that your feeling for me has always been as
-free from anything amorous as mine for you."
-
-"I don't speak of my feeling for you!" Claire cried in a voice suddenly
-loud, leaning forward with her elbows on the arms of her chair, "but of
-yours for me! It is not there now--I see it plainly, and I see plainly
-why! She--_she_--has been talking to you against me!--telling you about
-some childish follies in my life!--making you believe that I would not
-be a fit wife for you! Ah, yes!--I know her!" Claire pointed a shaking
-finger at her mother. "She would think it her duty to protect you
-against me--I know her!"
-
-"Be still," said Damier in his voice of steel.
-
-Claire, for a moment, sank back, panting, defiant, but silent before it.
-
-"You are conscious of your own falsehood, but you can scarcely be
-conscious of how base and vile you are. Your mother, when I came to-day,
-was hoping that I had come to ask her for your hand; she believed that I
-loved you, and hoped it."
-
-Claire, in her sullen recoil, still remained sunken and panting in her
-chair.
-
-"Well, then! And what have you got to say to us both, then, if you gave
-us both cause for such a supposition? What have you meant by it all?"
-
-"What I meant from the beginning I can best define by telling you that
-to-day I asked your mother to marry me."
-
-Claire sat speechless and motionless. The words seemed to have arrested
-thought, and to have nailed her to her chair. Damier looked at Madame
-Vicaud. Her hands had dropped from her face, and she met his eyes.
-
-"The truth was allowed me?" he said.
-
-"It is always allowed," she answered.
-
-Her face was so stricken, so ghastly, that Damier, almost forgetting in
-his great solicitude the hateful presence in the room, leaned over her,
-taking her hand.
-
-"Bear it. It is better to have it all over. And, in a sense, it is my
-own fault. I should have spoken to you sooner--defined what I meant from
-the first."
-
-"So," Claire said suddenly. Her smoldering eyes, while they spoke, had
-gone from one to the other. "So; this is what it all meant! Indeed, I
-cannot blame myself for not having guessed it. You in love with my
-mother! Or, shall we not more truthfully say, she in love with you?--the
-explanation, as a rule, you know, of these odd amorous episodes. I begin
-to understand. I did not suspect a rival in my own mother. Clever
-Mamma!"
-
-"Let this cease now," said Madame Vicaud, in a lifeless voice. "All has
-been said that it is necessary to say."
-
-"Indeed, no!" cried Claire. She sprang to her feet, braving Damier's
-menacing look, and stood before them with folded arms, defiantly, "All
-has not been said! I am to marry the middle-aged, middle-class man of
-small fortune, and you are to marry the _prince charmant_! Ah, don't
-think that I am in love with you, _prince charmant_, though I might have
-loved you had not my mother had such a keen eye for her own interests,
-and kept mine so dexterously in the background. I might have loved you
-had you been allowed to fall in love with me. Oh, I know what you would
-say!" Her voice rose to a shout as she interrupted his effort to speak.
-"How base, how vile, and how vulgar--_n'est-ce pas_? A girl clamoring
-over the loss of a husband! Shocking! Well, I own to my vulgarity. I did
-want to marry you. You have money, position--all the things I never hid
-from you that I liked; and you interested me, and I liked you, and I
-could be myself with you. My mother has always been too dainty to secure
-a husband for me--arrange my future: I have had to do all the ugly work
-myself; and I liked you because--just because I had to do no ugly work
-with you. And I clamor now--not because I have lost you--no, it's not
-that; but because she--_she_ has made her goodness serve her so!--has
-made it pay where my frankness failed. She is good, if you will; but I
-tell you that I prefer my vulgarity--my baseness--my vileness to her
-clever virtue; or is it an unconquerable passion with you, Mamma?--is it
-to be a _mariage d'amour_ rather than a _mariage de convenance_?"
-
-While Claire spoke, her mother, as if mesmerized by her fury, sat
-looking at her with dilated eyes and a fixed face--a face too fixed to
-show anguish. Rather it was as if, with an intense, spellbound interest,
-she hung upon her daughter's words, hardly feeling, hardly flinching
-before her insults, hardly conscious of each whip-like lash that struck
-her face to a more death-like whiteness. Now, drawing a breath that was
-almost a gasp, she leaned forward over the table, stretching her arms
-upon it and clasping her hands. "Claire, Claire!" she said, with a
-hurried, staccato utterance, "I see it all with your eyes--I understand.
-You have had something really dear taken from you--not love, perhaps,
-but a true friendship; that is so, isn't it? He seems to have turned
-against you,--isn't it so?--and through me. There is in you an anger
-that seems righteous to you. How cruel to have our best turned against
-us! I see all that. Ah, no, no! Let me speak to her!" For, Claire
-keeping the hardened insolence of her stare upon her, Damier, full of a
-passionate, protecting resentment, put his arm around her shoulders,
-took her hand. She threw off the hand, the arm, almost cruelly. "Let me
-speak to my child! Don't come between us now--now when we may come
-together, she and I. Yes, Claire, he loves me,--you see it,--too much,
-perhaps, to be just to you, though he has been so just--more just than I
-have been, perhaps; he has been so truly your friend. But now I am
-just. I am your mother. I can understand. I love him, Claire, yes, I
-love him; but I understand you. I will never do anything to part us
-further--understand me! I will never marry him against your will. Oh,
-Claire, try to understand me--try to trust me--try to love me!" She rose
-to her feet, her face ardent with the upsurging of all her longing
-motherhood, its sudden flaming into desperate hope through the deep
-driftings of ashen hopelessness; and as if swayed forward by this flame
-of hope, this longing of love, this ardor, she leaned toward her child,
-stretched out her arms toward her face of heavy impassivity. At the
-gesture, at her mother's last words, Claire's impassivity flickered into
-a half-ironic, half-pitying smile. But she did not advance to the
-outstretched arms. Merely looking at her with this searing pity, she
-said:
-
-"You would marry him to me if you could, wouldn't you?--you would, as
-usual, sacrifice yourself to me; as usual, your radiance would shine
-against my dark. Poor, magnanimous Mamma! No, no, no!" She turned and
-walked up and down the room. "No, no! I am tired of all this--tired of
-you; and you are tired of me. You will marry Mr. Damier. Why not, after
-all? Don't let scruples of conscience interfere, especially none on my
-account. It would not separate us: we are separated; we have always been
-separated, and that we are gives me no pain. But don't expect me either
-to live with you when you are married, or to marry my antique lover and
-settle down to the respectable, tepid joys he offers me. No, and no
-again. I will not marry him. I leave the respectability to you two
-excellent people." The glance she shot at them now as they stood
-together was pure irony. Her mother's pale and beautiful face still kept
-its look of frozen appeal, as though, while she made the appeal, she had
-been shot through the heart. Its beauty seemed to sting Claire where the
-appeal did not touch, and, too, Damier's look, bent on her with a quiet
-that defied her and all she signified, stung her, perhaps, more deeply.
-
-"My poor chances can't compete with yours, Mamma," she muttered. "Let me
-tell you that despair becomes you." She took up her hat.
-
-"Where are you going, Claire?" Madame Vicaud asked in her dead voice.
-
-"Don't be alarmed. Not to the Seine. I am going to a tea with Mrs.
-Wallingham. I shall be back to dinner. You will admit me?"
-
-"I shall always admit you."
-
-"Good." Claire was putting in her hat-pins before the mirror. "That is
-reassuring. Console her, Mr. Damier. Try to atone to her for me--bad as
-I am, I am sure that you can do so. Ah, I don't harmonize with a
-love-scene!--it was one I interrupted, I suppose. Let me take my
-baseness--my vileness--from before you." Her hand on the door, she
-paused, fixing a last look upon them; then, with a short laugh, she
-said, "Accept my blessing," and was gone.
-
-
-
-
-XVI
-
-
-MADAME VICAUD said nothing. She drew her hand from
-Damier's and sank again into the chair from which she had risen. Hope,
-ardor, and love, forever perhaps, were dead within her. She had hated
-her daughter, but under the hatred had been, always, the hidden flame,
-not, perhaps, of love, but of longing to love. She hated no longer, and
-the flame was quenched. Even in his nearness to her, Damier could not
-look with her at that slain longing. Walking away from her, he stood for
-a long time, gazing unseeingly over the garden, in silence. At last he
-turned and came to her. Her arm leaned on the table and her head upon
-her hand. With unutterable weariness she looked up at him.
-
-"And now," she said, "you must go, my friend."
-
-"Go?" Damier repeated.
-
-Years of resolute endurance looked from her eyes; the weariness was not
-a wavering. Her face seemed sinking back into the abyss from which he
-had rescued it.
-
-"Yes, you must go."
-
-"And leave you with her!"
-
-"And leave me with her," she assented monotonously.
-
-"Never--never!"
-
-She passed her hand over her brow, pressing her eyelids, as if in the
-effort to dispel her deep fatigue and find words with which to answer
-his harassing protest.
-
-"Yet you must. I have the wonder, the treasure of your love for me. I
-will keep it always. I will never forget you. But it is impossible, even
-the friendship, now. We must not drag what is dear to us in the mire. I
-could not keep you as my friend under her eyes. I must live with her,
-and for her; that is the only life possible for me. I made it for
-myself. Whatever her cruelty, whatever her baseness, I have only to
-remember that I am responsible for her, that I am her only chance. And
-after this her presence in my life makes yours wrong. She knows now that
-you are not a friend only, and as a husband you could not remain. Such a
-_menage a trois_ would be as detestable as it would be grotesque."
-
-"She will marry!" cried Damier. "She must marry Monsieur Daunay."
-
-"I do not think that she will marry him; but if she does marry, I could
-not separate my life from hers, though then I could see you again, but
-as friend, as friend only."
-
-Damier burst out into a smothered invective:
-
-"And you think of sacrificing the rest of your life to that
-creature--who has no love for you--whom you cannot love! What can you do
-for her? You can never change or soften her."
-
-He felt that the vehemence of his despair and rebellion dashed itself
-against a rocky inflexibility, although she still bent her head upon her
-hand with the same deep weariness, not looking at him, still spoke on
-with the same monotonous patience:
-
-"I cannot call the fulfilling of the most rudimentary maternal duty a
-sacrifice. You forget that my youth is past, and that with it the time
-for sacrifices is past, too. I have no claims on life. Life, at my age
-and in my position, can only be a dedication. I can, perhaps, never
-soften or change her: but I can still protect her; I can still lend her
-the dignity, such as it is, of my home and my companionship. And I can
-pity her, most piteous creature--whose mother has no love for her."
-
-"Ah, you do not love me!" cried Damier, and all his youth was in the
-cry. "You sacrifice _me_ with such composure! You give yourself to have
-your life sucked out of you by this vampire shape of the past. And it is
-me you rob! It is my life you immolate, as well as your own! What of my
-claim on life--my claim on you? You have no conception of what you are
-to me, or you could not speak of shutting me out from you; you could not
-think of sending me away! You could not speak so--think so--if you loved
-me!"
-
-From her chair she now looked up at him, not with weariness, with a look
-curiously vivid and tender. "You speak like a boy," she said.
-
-Damier flung himself on his knees beside her. "And you think that I can
-leave you when you can look at me like that--love me like that!"
-
-"Because I do." She let him take her hands, and went on, almost smiling
-at him: "Because I love you like that, and because you love me like
-that, and because I am so much older than you--can't you feel it? how
-like a little boy--passionate, unruly in his grief--you seem to me! And
-because, in spite of my age and your boyishness, we do yet love each
-other so greatly that the very greatness of our love makes the question
-of our being together or apart really of not such significance."
-
-"Of not such significance!" poor Damier cried. "I am to find you in
-heaven, then!"
-
-"Probably." She did smile now, but he guessed that it was the brave
-smile she could summon over anguish. He guessed that her feeling of his
-boyishness was less apparent to her than her feeling of his power over
-her, his right to her. She might never yield to the power, never own to
-the right, but to guess that she felt them was assurance enough for the
-moment, and the pallor of the face that smiled at him was a reproach to
-him.
-
-"No, no," he said; "I shall keep you there--and I shall keep you here,
-too. I will rescue you. I will find out the way. And I will leave you
-now and give you peace for a little while. You are terribly tired."
-
-"Terribly," she assented. "It is kind and generous of you to go now."
-
-"But my going is to be taken as no token of submission. I will return."
-
-"To say good-by."
-
-"So you say."
-
-"So you will do." And she still smiled, all tenderness, all
-inflexibility.
-
-"Never, never, never!" said Damier.
-
-
-
-
-XVII
-
-
-DAMIER, for his own part, felt no need of peace. A
-passionate protestation, a passionate determination, filled him. At his
-hotel, as if in answer to vague plans and projects, the figure of
-Monsieur Daunay, rising from a chair, confronted him. From Monsieur
-Daunay's relief and alacrity he guessed that he had been waiting there
-for some time--ever since, he further guessed, his conversation with
-Claire.
-
-"You have heard?" asked Monsieur Daunay, and a host of questions looked
-from his eyes.
-
-"That you have proposed to Mademoiselle Vicaud, yes; and that she has
-answered you, I fear, not favorably; yes, I have heard."
-
-"You have seen her?"
-
-"I was with her mother, speaking with her of it, when Claire came."
-
-"I have intruded thus upon you," said Monsieur Daunay, "in the faint
-hope that you might be able, after seeing her, to give me some
-encouragement, since from her I could elicit none. She was sullen,
-silent, reproached me for my haste. After all these years!" Monsieur
-Daunay groaned, and dropped again into his chair, folding his arms and
-bowing his head in a despairing acquiescence to fate's cruelty. "After
-all these years!" he repeated.
-
-Damier saw down a long vista of them, sunny with the encouraging smiles
-of the charming Claire.
-
-"You have assured me," Daunay presently said, "that you were not the
-cause of this change in Claire."
-
-It was a rather perplexing question, but Damier was able truthfully to
-answer it with: "I can again assure you that it is only through her
-relation with her mother that Claire interests me."
-
-"And so she has assured me, again and again, and that all her affection
-was for me. And yet, now that I can claim her--now that I come, trusting
-and hoping, she turns from me; she mutters that I am too old; not rich
-enough. Ah, _mon Dieu_!"
-
-Claire, clearly, Damier also saw, had never endangered her certain hold
-upon Monsieur Daunay's usefulness by confessing to him her expectation
-of larger achievements. She would evade him, and hold him, as long as
-she had need of him.
-
-Part of her anger to-day had, no doubt, been due to the fact that the
-sudden crisis had forced her into a decisive attitude toward him while
-yet uncertain that she could with safety give him up. Yet, indeed, she
-had been able to avoid absolute decisiveness--so Monsieur Daunay's next
-words proved:
-
-"She told me that all her affection was still mine, but owned to higher
-ambitions; she had never, she said, hidden from me that she was
-ambitious, and life now was opening new possibilities to her. Could
-affection and ambition be combined, had I a large fortune to gild my
-middle age and my unimportance, she would at once marry me."
-
-"She is utterly unworthy of you," said Damier.
-
-At this a faint, ironic smile crossed the Frenchman's face. "Ah, _mon
-ami_," he said, "you need not tell me that. If I love Claire, do not
-imagine, as I told you last night, that I am blinded by my love. I love
-her _d'un amour fou_--and I recognize it. She possesses me; she can do
-what she will with me; I should forgive her anything. But I know that I
-am a captive--and to no noble captor."
-
-"Just heavens!" Damier broke out, indifferent, in his indignant pity, to
-his own interests, "shake off this obsession--and her with it! Leave
-her; go away; do not see her again. What misery if you were to marry
-her!"
-
-"What will you? I adore her!" His helplessness seemed final. He
-presently went on: "But I came to-day to ask for your help. You occupy
-a peculiar position toward Madame Vicaud and her daughter; you have
-influence with them both. Use it in my favor, I beg of you. Intercede
-for me."
-
-"Any influence I have shall, I promise you, be devoted to that purpose.
-I can hardly hope that your hopes will be realized; their realization
-could not be for your happiness. Pardon me, but have you never suspected
-that Claire is like her father--that she, too, is a miserable creature?"
-
-For a long moment Daunay looked at him.
-
-"She is like her father," he then said; "but have you never suspected,
-or, rather, do you not now see, that, because of that, my claim is all
-the stronger? What man not knowing it, marrying her in ignorance of it,
-would not repent? I should never repent. She is like him, if you will,
-but she is, irrevocably, the woman I love. More than that, she is the
-child I love; I have watched her grow up. From the beginning, she has
-been _ma petite Claire_; so she will be to the end--whatever that end
-may be."
-
-Monsieur Daunay spoke with a profound feeling, a profound sincerity that
-the emotional tremor of his voice, the emotional tears in his eyes, only
-made the more characteristic and touching to Damier. He got up and
-grasped the Frenchman's hand in silence.
-
-A knock at the door broke upon this compact of sympathy; a garcon
-brought a card to Damier and said that the lady waited for him in the
-salon below. The card was Lady Surfex's, and on it was written:
-
- Must see you at once, on most important matter concerning Madame V.
-
-"Wait for me here," Damier said to Monsieur Daunay. "This may concern
-you as well as me."
-
-He found Lady Surfex in the drearily gaudy salon, her face ominous of
-ill tidings.
-
-"My dear Eustace," she said,--they were alone, yet her voice was
-discreetly low,--"a horrid thing has happened--or is going to. I thought
-it best to come to you at once. Claire Vicaud runs away to-night with
-Lord Epsil."
-
-And, as he stared at her in stricken silence:
-
-"I found it out by chance. I was at Mrs. Wallingham's. They were
-there--Mademoiselle Vicaud and Lord Epsil. I watched them, indeed, with
-some uneasiness, as they sat, with ostentatious retirement, in a dim
-corner. I saw them go out together. Do you know, Eustace, my distrust of
-that girl and of that man--in justice to her, I must say it--was so
-great that I really was on the point of following them--asking her to
-let me drive her home; but I hesitated, people I knew came in, I had to
-speak to them, and so some time went by. Then, about half an hour after
-they were gone, Mrs. Wallingham came to me and whispered that a maid--a
-discreet English person who was dispensing tea in the dining-room--had
-overheard Lord Epsil saying to Mademoiselle Vicaud that they would take
-the night train to Dinard, and that his yacht was there. The woman came
-at once to her mistress. And now, Eustace, what can be done to save
-_her_?" They both knew to whom the pronoun referred; a conventional
-saving of Claire had significance only in reference to her mother.
-
-Damier was steadying his thoughts.
-
-"The night train." He looked at his watch. "There is time," he said.
-
-"For what, Eustace?"
-
-"There is only one chance. One can't appeal to her heart, or
-conscience--or even, it seems, to her ambition; but one might to her
-greed--offer her some firmer, surer competence. I had thought of it
-dimly before. I could catch that Dinard train--go with them--find some
-opportunity for seeing her alone before they reach Dinard--or before
-they reach the yacht."
-
-"But, Eustace," her helpless wonder reproached his baseless optimism,
-"what _could_ you do? You can't beard the man; she is of age--goes
-willingly. What a situation!"
-
-"I could offer her half of my income for life, if she would consent to
-return with me, and to marry a man who is devoted to her--who, I think,
-would forgive anything."
-
-"Eustace, it would leave you almost poor!"
-
-"Not quite, since the half is large enough, I trust, to tempt her! The
-whole would not be too much to give to save _her_ from this final blow."
-
-"But can you--this man--will he?"
-
-"He is up-stairs. I will see him, and start at once."
-
-"And, Eustace--wait; can't we keep it from her--can't we think of some
-good lie?"
-
-He had almost to smile at her intently thoughtful face.
-
-"What possible lie can we think of? Claire will not come back
-to-night--she must know, sooner or later."
-
-"But it is for to-night I want to spare her. Ah, I have it--no lie,
-either. I merely send a telegram, 'Claire may not return to-night: will
-explain to-morrow,' signed with my name; she will think Claire is
-passing the night with me; and then, you know, the girl may, at the last
-moment, decide not to go."
-
-Damier had to yield to her eagerness. Up-stairs the words he had with
-Daunay were short, bitter, decisive. Averting his eyes from the
-unfortunate man's face, he put the case before him. He turned his back
-on him when he had spoken, went to the window, left him to an unobserved
-quaffing of the poisonous cup.
-
-Monsieur Daunay's first words showed that he had quaffed it bravely and
-that his reason still stood firm.
-
-"She must be mad," he said; "it is not like her."
-
-"No, it is not like her. And I may tell you that I suspect revenge to be
-in part her motive. She had a terrible quarrel with her mother this
-afternoon."
-
-Damier turned now and faced him.
-
-"And now, Monsieur Daunay, are you willing to save her?"
-
-"I am ready," the Frenchman said quietly; "with your help, I am ready to
-save her."
-
-"I go at once, and with that assurance, then?"
-
-"Yes; I am ready. Tell her that. Tell her, too, that if her mother will
-not receive her, she will find a home at my cousin's until our marriage
-can take place."
-
-"Her mother will receive her," said Damier. "As you have forgiven, so
-she will forgive."
-
-
-
-
-XVIII
-
-
-THE long, hot, rushing hours had passed, for Damier, in
-a sort of stupor, the anaesthesia of one fixed idea. In the stuffy
-railway-carriage, his eyes on the dark square of the open window, where
-one saw vaguely the starlit depths of a midsummer night, he thought,
-with the odd detachment of a crisis, of the past day: the sunny morning
-walk with Claire--green leaves, purple shadows; the afternoon's supreme
-moment--a deep pulse of wonder in his heart, hardly to be seen in
-images; Lady Surfex among the palms and monstrous gilded pottery of the
-hotel salon; Monsieur Daunay's quiet, white face; the crowded Paris
-railway-station, and the glimpse he had caught in it of Claire and Lord
-Epsil. This most recent impression was also the most vivid, threw all
-the others into a blurred background where, with a new look of woe, only
-Madame Vicaud's face glimmered clearly.
-
-The enforced pause at the height of his resolution made both the past
-and the future half illusory. The present, with not its usual flashing
-impermanence, had, for hours, been the same, had stopped, as it were, at
-an instant of vigilant alertness, and held him in it rigidly. Until the
-object of that vigilance, that alertness, were attained, he could not
-look forward or make projects. The chance for seeing Claire alone could
-not come, probably, until Dinard was reached. There, in the hurry of
-arrival, he might snatch a word with her. It would only be necessary to
-speak the word, to put the alternative before her. Entreaty would be
-useless; all the argument possible was the chink of gold in two hands;
-all the hope, that his chink might be the louder.
-
-Shortly after ten o'clock the train drew up in the Rennes station.
-Damier had let no such opportunity escape him, and he again stepped from
-his compartment and stood looking toward the part of the train where he
-knew were Claire and her cavalier. As he looked he saw the tall figure
-of the Englishman stroll across the platform to the refreshment-buffet.
-The light fell full on his long, smooth, pink face,--a papier-mache
-pink,--on his long, high nose and whity-brown mustache. Damier darted
-forward. In an instant he was at the door, still ajar, of the
-compartment that Lord Epsil had just left. He saw, under the yellow
-glare of the lamp, a confusion of traveling-bags, rugs, bandboxes
-(Claire had evidently shopped), newspapers and magazines; a large box of
-bonbons lay on a seat, its contents half rifled, its papers strewing the
-floor; and, settled back in a corner, her shoulders huddled together in
-a graceful sleepiness, was Claire. A long silk traveling-cloak fell over
-her white dress; the winged white hat of the morning was pushed a little
-to one side as her head leaned against the cushioned carriage; a
-drooping curve of loosened hair, shining in the light like molten brass,
-fell over her cheek and neck; her profile, half hidden, was at once
-petulant and relaxed with drowsiness.
-
-Damier did not hesitate. He sprang into the carriage. Not touching the
-girl, he leaned over her. "Claire," he said.
-
-In an instant she had started into erectness, staring stupefied, too
-stupefied for shame or anger.
-
-"I have only a moment," said Damier, speaking with a clear-cut dryness
-of utterance. "If you will come back with me, and marry Monsieur
-Daunay,--he knows all and will marry you,--half of my income is yours
-for life."
-
-After the first stare she had blinked in opening her eyes to the light
-and to the sudden apparition; the eyes were now fixed widely on him;
-they looked like two deep, black holes.
-
-"It is a bribe," she said.
-
-"Call it so if you will."
-
-"It shows your scorn for me."
-
-"Comprehension of you, rather."
-
-"And if I don't?"
-
-"If you don't I will challenge this man--and fight him. I am an
-excellent fencer, an excellent shot."
-
-She looked at him, half scoffing, yet half believing. "Englishmen don't
-fight duels."
-
-"This one will."
-
-"He might kill you."
-
-"I might kill him; you would have to take the risk."
-
-She shrugged her shoulders. "_Bien!_ I understand, too. I will fulfil
-myself." She half rose, then sank again. "How much?" He mentioned the
-sum--not a small one. "Make it two thirds," said Claire, keeping her
-dilated eyes upon him with an effect of final and defiant revelation.
-
-"Two thirds, then," he assented, in the steadied voice of one who does
-not dare hurry indecision. Yet, even now, she did not rise.
-
-"One more condition, please. I do not see my mother again. Let us say,
-if you like, that I am ashamed to meet her."
-
-"She has not been told--of this."
-
-"Yes, she has," said Claire. "I wrote and told her." There was the
-satisfaction of achievement in the way she said it. "Oh, yes; she
-knows."
-
-"Yet, even after that,--your vengeance, I suppose,--I hardly dare make
-the promise for her,--she can forgive--even this."
-
-"Ah," and the hoarse note was in Claire's voice, "but I can't take
-forgiveness from her. I have left the world where such episodes as this
-need forgiveness. Tolerance is now all that I will endure--and she will
-never tolerate. No; I will not come with you; I will not return to
-Monsieur Daunay and to respectability--unless you promise that I shall
-never see her again."
-
-"I promise it, then, if it is the condition."
-
-"You accept? _Bien!_" Claire sprang up, and ripping an illustration from
-a magazine, she scribbled on the blank back, "Have decided, after all,
-that I won't come," transfixed it with a hat-pin to the cushioned back
-of Lord Epsil's vacated seat, then, as rapidly, reached for two of the
-bandboxes, pulled them, rattling, from the racks, stooped and jerked a
-large pasteboard box from under a seat, and, encumbered as she already
-was, caught up from among the rugs and bags several smaller packages,
-dexterously holding them to her sides with her elbows.
-
-Damier, who had stared, hardly comprehending, gripped her wrist. "Put
-them down." She gazed round in sincere amazement; then, with quite a
-humorous laugh, dropped the booty. "I really forgot! No, it wouldn't be
-fair play, would it?--though, I confess, I should like to take a little
-vengeance; he has irritated me, been too complacent, too assured. This,
-too?" She touched the silk traveling-cloak. Damier, without speaking,
-stripped it off her; then, catching her by the arm, he almost dragged
-her from the carriage, for her feet stumbled among the dressing-cases
-and the abandoned boxes.
-
-He found, as they almost ran along the dim platform across to the one
-opposite, and as he pushed her into a compartment of the Paris train
-that stood there, that she was laughing. The adventure of it, the
-excitement, Lord Epsil's discomfiture, appealed, evidently, to her sense
-of mirth.
-
-There were other occupants of the carriage, and Damier was thankful for
-it. He did not want to talk to Claire. To reproach her would make him as
-ridiculous as beating a tin pan in the expectation of response other
-than a mocking cachinnation; not to reproach might seem to condone by
-comprehension. Yet, as she sank back into a corner, settled her shoulder
-in it, he saw that there was emotion under the laughter, that it was not
-only the tin-pan rattle. He could interpret it as almost a regret--a
-regret for something against which she had always rebelled, from which
-she had now finally freed herself, a sudden realization that forever she
-had lost the standing upon which he had found her. Yet, over this trace
-of emotion and suffering, that, to Damier, was more piteous than
-anything he had yet seen in her, she smiled at him, with half-dropped
-lids. It was the look, with her a new one, of brazening a shame. Already
-her nature had retaliated upon the wrong she had done it by fixing in
-her face a more apparent ugliness of expression. She glanced round at
-the sleepy, respectable occupants of the carriage, their sleepiness,
-however, keeping an eye upon this startling young person in her white
-dress.
-
-"Before we relapse into an irrevocable silence," she said, "let me
-inform you--it will complete your evil opinion of me--that I didn't
-really care about him; I cared for his caring about me--though at
-moments even that fatigued me, _il m'embetait quelquefois_; but then, I
-was glad to be revenged."
-
-"Upon whom? For what?"
-
-"Upon you both--for making me feel that I was not of your world."
-
-"We did not make you feel it, Claire."
-
-For some moments they were silent, as the train moved slowly from the
-station, and then she said:
-
-"Where will you take me?"
-
-"To his cousin's, Mademoiselle Daunay's. I have arranged all with him."
-
-A look, almost tremulous under its attempt at a light sneer, crossed her
-face.
-
-"What forgiveness! _Il est un peu lache, vous savez._"
-
-"Try, Claire, to deserve such touching _lachete_."
-
-Again Claire was, for some moments, silent; then, yawning slightly, yet,
-again his acuteness guessed, affectedly, she said, settling her shoulder
-more decisively in her corner:
-
-"There is the more hope for my deserving it since now I am rich. You may
-make your mind easy about my future. I have got all that I ever really
-wanted." It was the new and brazen note over the new shame; but as he
-looked at the face that first pretended to sleep, and that eventually
-did sleep, was not the brass the curious, anomalous shield that nature
-put around something growing--around a soul that at last, with a faint,
-half-conscious thrill, felt upon it the awakening breath of suffering?
-
-
-
-
-XIX
-
-
-THE morning was still fresh when Damier walked down the
-Rue B---- next day. Clear early sunlight fell upon the houses opposite
-Madame Vicaud's, glittering on their upper windows, gilding their
-austerity; but the depths of the street were still cool and unshadowed.
-
-The concierge was sweeping out the courtyard, and fixed on Damier a
-cogitating eye; his early visit and Claire's absence were, no doubt, to
-her vigilant curiosity, symptoms of something unusual. The cogitation,
-though mingled with relief, was repeated at the door above in
-Angelique's look. She was plainly glad to see him. Madame Vicaud had sat
-up all night, she volunteered, quite as if accepting him as a member of
-the family, privileged to confidences; she thought that madame had hoped
-for mademoiselle's return, and she feared that the letter that had
-arrived from mademoiselle an hour before had much distressed madame.
-Perhaps Monsieur Damier could persuade her to have some coffee; she had
-eaten no dinner the night before, nor breakfast this morning. Damier
-promised to persuade, and Angelique ushered him into the salon.
-
-He had never before seen it flooded with sunlight,--for this was his
-first morning visit,--and the windows overlooking the garden faced a
-radiant sky.
-
-His eyes were dazzled, and the dark figure that rose to meet him seemed
-to waver in the light.
-
-The calamity that had befallen her, at variance with the joyous setting
-in which he found her, showed in her white face--her eyes, still, as it
-were, astonished from the shock, dark with misery and a night of
-watching. On the table near which she had been sitting were a burnt-out
-candle, Lady Surfex's telegram of the night before, and a letter,
-opening its large displayal of vigorous handwriting to the revealing
-day: Claire's handwriting, Claire's letter of farewell. Damier took
-Madame Vicaud's hands and looked at her; the astonishment of her eyes
-hurt him more than their dry misery: after all, then, she had been so
-unprepared.
-
-"I know all," she said.
-
-"Not all."
-
-"She has left me--with that man; she has written to me."
-
-"Not all," he repeated.
-
-"Is there more? There cannot be worse."
-
-"There is better. She is safe."
-
-"Safe? Do you mean that she did not go?"
-
-Her eyes, with their sudden leap of light, burned him.
-
-"No; she did go. But I followed them; I brought her back."
-
-"Back to me? She was frightened at what she had done?" she again asked,
-her eyes still burning, but more dimly, upon him. His eyes dropped
-before them; looking down at the wasted hands he held, he said:
-
-"No, dearest, not to you--to Monsieur Daunay. She is to marry him. She
-is with his cousin now."
-
-Her vigil had evidently been tearless; even the arrival that morning of
-the fatal letter had not melted her frozen terror. But now, as she
-looked speechlessly at him, the long rise of a sob heaved her breast;
-her hands slid from his; she sank into a chair, and resting her crossed
-arms upon the table, she bent her head upon them and wept and shuddered.
-In the sunny stillness of the room the young man stood beside her. He
-felt an alien before this intimate, maternal anguish. She did not weep
-for long. She presently sat upright, dried her eyes, and pushed back her
-hair, keeping her hand pressed tightly, for a moment, on her forehead,
-as if in an effort to regain her long habit of self-control; and as if
-to gain time, to hide the painful effort from him, she pointed to
-Claire's letter. "Read it," she said.
-
-It was Claire's most callous, most ugly self; its passion of hatred and
-revenge hardly masked itself in the metallic tone of mockery. They were
-both well rid of her--her dear Mamma and her dear Mamma's suitor. They
-were far too good for her, and she justified them by showing them how
-far too bad she was for them. Pursuit and reproaches were useless. She
-feared that her dear Mamma's ermine robe of respectability must be
-permanently spotted by a daughter notoriously naughty--for she did not
-intend to hide her new situation. But perhaps the daughter could be
-lived down as the daughter's father had been. And on, and on--short
-phrases, lava-jets from the seething volcano of base vulgarity; Damier
-felt them burn his own cheek while he read.
-
-Madame Vicaud's eyes were on his when he raised them; but quickly
-looking away from him, she said: "It came this morning. Last night I
-could not understand that telegram; I could not believe that she would
-not return. I felt that something was being hidden from me; it was like
-battling in a stifling black air. And then--this came." He had laid the
-letter beside her, and she touched it with her finger, as if it had been
-a snake. "This--this end of all!"
-
-"She is safe," Damier repeated rather helplessly.
-
-"Safe!" the mother echoed. Leaning her head against the chair-back, she
-closed her eyes. Lovely and dignified even in her disgrace, nothing
-could smirch and nothing could abase her; she had never looked so noble
-as at this moment of dreadful defeat and overthrow. "And how have you
-saved her?" she asked. "What did Monsieur Daunay have to offer--what did
-you have to offer--to bring her back--since it was not repentance? It
-was not repentance?"
-
-"No; but I believe that she was glad to come. I--I dowered Claire," said
-Damier, after a momentary pause.
-
-Madame Vicaud, still keeping her eyes closed, was silent. He leaned over
-her and took her hand. "All that I have is yours. You dowered her, let
-us say."
-
-"What do you mean by dowering her?" she asked.
-
-"I have given her two thirds of my income for life."
-
-Her hand in his was chill and passive; he felt in her the cold shudder
-of shame.
-
-"Ah," he said, "from me--from me you do not resent such saving?"
-
-"Resent?--from you?" she said gently. "No, no; it is of her I am
-thinking. No; you did well, very well to save her--if we may call it
-saving. You have washed the spots from my respectability. We both know
-the value of such washing; but it is best--best to have us all
-respectable,"--a bitter smile touched her lips,--"since it is that we
-prize so. And were there no other inducements?"
-
-"There was a condition,"--he had to nerve himself to the speaking of
-it,--"that she did not see you again. She has, by her own wish, broken
-the bond between you. She has left your life."
-
-Madame Vicaud clenched her hands, and her chin trembled.
-
-"Yet--let me tell you," he said, "I believe that there is more hope for
-Claire so left in the evil and abasement she has made about herself than
-if she were to have remained with you; all the forces of her nature were
-engaged in resistance, or in a pretended submission that bided its time.
-Now she must do battle with the world on a level where life will teach
-her lessons she can understand. She has severed herself completely from
-you--she has completely fulfilled herself. Some new blossoming may
-follow; who knows?"
-
-"But no blossoming for me. I shall not see it," said Madame Vicaud. "My
-life has been useless."
-
-Useless? He wondered over her past, her long efforts, this wreck.
-
-Could goodness, however clear-sighted, however divine in its
-comprehension and pity, prevent evil from working itself out,
-fulfilling itself? Was not its working out perhaps its salvation?
-
-"How can you tell?" he said. "You have done your work for her."
-
-"I have done nothing for her. Everything has failed." Still, with closed
-eyes, she leaned her head against the chair, and slow tears fell down
-her cheeks.
-
-"You have fulfilled yourself toward her; that is not failure. You have
-fought your fight. Surely it is the fighting, and not its result, that
-makes success. And can you say that everything has failed--when you
-still have me to live for? Claire has gone out of your life. She has
-shut the door on you. She has left you, and--oh, dearest, dearest, she
-has left you to me!"
-
-He stood before her, looking at her with faithful eyes. His love for her
-made no menace to her grief; it did not jar upon her sorrow; rather it
-was with her in it all, it could not: be separated from it--as he could
-not be separated from any part of her life.
-
-"You are alone now," he said, "and I am alone."
-
-"No,"--she put her hand out to him,--"no; we are not alone."
-
-"Then--" The air was golden, and in the open window, white flowers, set
-there, dazzled against the sky. This day of sunlight and disaster must
-symbolize the past and the future, as her eyes, with their silent,
-solemn assent, her face, so sweet and so sorrowful. She rose; he drew
-her toward him. But then, as though another consecration than embrace
-and kiss were needed for this strange betrothal, she walked with him,
-holding his hand, to the window, where the white flowers dazzled in the
-sun. She looked at the flowers, at the trees, at the splendid serenity
-of the morning sky, softly breathing the clear, radiant air--as though
-in "a peace out of pain."
-
-"We will go away," said Damier, who looked at her; and, despite his
-sorrowing for her, the day seemed to him full of wings and music. "I do
-not want to see Paris again, do you? And this will be our last memory
-of it--these flowers, this garden, this sky, that we look at together.
-We will think of it so, without pain almost, in a new, new life."
-
-"A new life," she repeated gently and vaguely. Lifting his hand, she
-kissed it. "You have rescued me from the old one. You are my angel of
-resurrection," she said.
-
-Yet that the future was dim to her, except through his faith in
-it,--that, indeed, it could never become an unshadowed brightness,--he
-knew, as, leaning against him, needing protection from her bitter
-thoughts, she murmured in the anguish of her desolate and bereaved
-motherhood: "Oh--but my child!"
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
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