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The Project Gutenberg eBook of The College Freshman's Don't Book, by George F. Evans.
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<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 42467 ***</div>
<div class="figcenter" style="width: 397px;">
<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="397" height="600" alt="Cover" />
</div>
<hr class="chap" />
<div class="figcenter" style="width: 363px;"><a id="frontis"></a>
<img src="images/i_001.png" width="363" height="600" alt="Freshman looking at list
of don'ts" />
<span class="caption">HELPFUL DONTS</span>
</div>
<hr class="chap" />
<div class="figcenter" style="width: 363px;">
<img src="images/i_002_title.png" width="363" height="600" alt="" />
</div>
<hr class="chap" />
<h1><span class='small'>T<sup>HE</sup> COLLEGE FRESHMAN'S</span><br />
DON'T BOOK</h1>
<div class='blockquot'><sup>IN THE</sup> INTERESTS <sup>OF</sup> FRESHMEN <sup>AT</sup> LARGE<br />
ESPECIALLY THOSE WHOSE REMAINING<br />
<sup>AT</sup> LARGE UNINSTRUCTED <sup>&</sup> UNGUIDED<br />
APPEARS A WORRY <sup>AND</sup> A MENACE <sup>TO</sup><br />
COLLEGE <sup>&</sup> UNIVERSITY SOCIETY THESE<br />
REMARKS <sup>AND</sup> HINTS ARE SET FORTH<br />
BY G. F. E. (A. B.) A SYMPATHIZER
<br /></div><div class='center'>
<span class='small'>THE ILLUSTRATIONS BY CHARLES FRANK INGERSON</span><br />
<span class='small'>THE DECORATIONS & INITIALS BY RAYMOND CARTER</span>
<br />
PAUL ELDER <sup>AND</sup> COMPANY<br />
<span class='small'>PUBLISHERS ::: SAN FRANCISCO</span><br />
</div>
<hr class="chap" />
<div class='center'>
TO<br />
H. H. C.<br />
TOGETHER WE WERE<br />
SMALL FROGS<br />
IN THAT GREAT ACADEMIC PUDDLE<br />
THE OLDEST IN OUR LAND<br />
AND<br />
IN MEMORY OF THE POLLIWOG STAGE<br />
I DEDICATE TO YOU<br />
THIS PLUNGE<br />
</div>
<hr class="chap" />
<div class='copyright'>
<i>Copyright, 1910<br />
by Paul Elder and Company<br />
San Francisco</i><br />
</div>
<hr class="chap" />
<h2>CONTENTS</h2>
<div class="center">
<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="Contents">
<tr><td align="left"> </td><td align="right"><span class='small'>Page</span></td></tr>
<tr><td align="left">As to the Place</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_1">1</a></td></tr>
<tr><td align="left">As to Settling Down</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_3">3</a></td></tr>
<tr><td align="left">As to Dress</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_11">11</a></td></tr>
<tr><td align="left">As to Dining</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_15">15</a></td></tr>
<tr><td align="left">As to Lectures and Studies</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_18">18</a></td></tr>
<tr><td align="left">As to College Organizations and Friends</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_26">26</a></td></tr>
<tr><td align="left">As to Things in General</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_32">32</a></td></tr>
</table></div>
<hr class="chap" />
<h2>ILLUSTRATIONS</h2>
<div class="center">
<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="">
<tr><td align="left">Helpful Don'ts, <i><a href="#frontis">Frontispiece</a></i></td><td align="center"><span class='small'>Opposite<br />Page</span></td></tr>
<tr><td align="left">The weather is generally the <i>only</i> thing about a College Town not yet educated</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_2">2</a></td></tr>
<tr><td align="left">Don't overdo the <i>decoration</i> of your room</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_8">8</a></td></tr>
<tr><td align="left">Don't dress too sporty</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_12">12</a></td></tr>
<tr><td align="left">Don't monopolize the <i>conversation</i> at the table</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_16">16</a></td></tr>
<tr><td align="left">Don't fail to keep in mind the steps of <i>descent</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_24">24</a></td></tr>
<tr><td align="left">Don't answer back if the Coach <i>speaks harshly</i> to you</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_28">28</a></td></tr>
<tr><td align="left">Don't pawn your watch during your first year</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_34">34</a></td></tr>
</table></div>
<hr class="chap" /><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</a></span></p>
<h2>AS TO THE PLACE</h2>
<div class="sidenote">THE
COLLEGE
TOWN</div>
<div class="figleft" style="width: 183px;">
<img src="images/i_001-drop-d.png" width="183" height="210" alt="D" />
</div><div class='unindent'><br /><br />ON'T imagine that
you <i>own</i> the <i>College
Town</i> from the moment
you strike it.
Remember, there
are prior claims, and
you're not the <i>first</i> squatter.</div>
<div class="sidenote">ITS
WEATHER</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> expect the College Town
to furnish you with good weather;
because it won't. The weather is
generally the <i>only</i> thing about a
College Town not yet educated.
Of course, if you happen to have
come from Lapland or Patagonia,
and do not know what good
weather is, the weather here <i>may</i>
suit you. The oldest inhabitants
in a College Town live to be
very old; this is to be accounted
for by the fact that they are kept<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a></span>
alive by their curiosity to see
<i>what</i> kind of weather is going to
develop next.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THE
COLLEGE
SIGHTS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> forget that sight-seeing
relatives and others coming on
a visit to the College, <i>must</i> see
the Library, the Gymnasium, the
Dining Hall, and the Athletic
Field. These, and the Campus,
are generally all the sights there
are. It is well to get this list carefully
in mind <i>early</i>, as it saves
you from a panic at the last minute.
You often think that you
will explore the place and get
something <i>new</i> to show people;
but this you never do. The
above list is a fairly accurate one,
and it suffices. Those whom you
are guiding about always pretend
they are <i>dreadfully</i> interested and
excited about every thing in turn.
On your first trip as official guide,
you yourself see a great deal; on
your fiftieth, you try <i>not</i> to.</p>
<div class="figcenter" style="width: 368px;">
<img src="images/i_002a.png" width="368" height="600" alt="" />
<span class="caption">THE WEATHER IS GENERALLY THE <i>ONLY</i> THING ABOUT A
COLLEGE TOWN NOT YET EDUCATED</span>
</div>
<hr class="chap" /><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span></p>
<h2>AS TO SETTLING DOWN</h2>
<div class="sidenote">YOUR
ARRIVAL</div>
<div class="figleft" style="width: 150px;">
<img src="images/i_003-drop-d.png" width="150" height="176" alt="D" />
</div><div class='unindent'><br /><br /><br />ON'T think that your
<i>mere arrival</i> at College
has made you
able to <i>relieve Atlas</i>
in holding up the
World. The World's
idea of you at this point is, that
you're something like a gold-fish
just let loose in a glass globe. It
<i>will begin to expect</i> something of
you when you're dumped into
the big Ocean.</div>
<div class="sidenote">YOUR
RESIDENCE</div>
<p><i>Don't</i>, if you can possibly side-step
it, begin to live in a place
which you do not like. The <i>Blue-Willies</i>
may lurk in the corners.
Many a <i>Freshman</i> changes his
residence about the <i>mid-year</i>, because
he has not made a careful
selection at first. The moving<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span>
often entails cracked wash-bowls,
broken pictures and casts, stifled
oaths, and a sense of <i>great unrest</i>
not appropriate to the season.</p>
<div class="sidenote">YOUR
LANDLADY</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> treat your <i>Landlady</i>
shabbily if you happen to live
in a private house. Some Landladies
are the best souls in the
world. All of them are proud
and <i>descended from the best early
families</i> (you have only to take
<i>their</i> word for this). Though
they are often inquisitive, their
inquisitiveness often comes from
their genuine interest in you.
Sometimes, <i>the more they know</i>
of your family history, <i>the less
they will charge</i> you for oil and
gas, at the end of the month.</p>
<div class="sidenote">HER
RIGHTS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> begin <i>too</i> early in the
term to make your Landlady's
house a <i>noisy abode</i>. She may
get impatient and do something
hasty, such as even demanding
your key, payment and evacuation.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span>
In <i>such</i> an event you see
the full meaning of her appellation.
Whereas, before you may
have thought that the word
"land" in her title meant to
<i>catch</i>, as to <i>land a fish</i>, you now
see that it is primarily derived
from her ability <i>to come down
hard</i> on a special occasion.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THE
DUSTING
LADY</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> be discouraged if you
can't find anything in the right
place after the <i>dusting lady</i> has
put things in order. It's a <i>way
they have</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">YOUR
ROOM</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> neglect taste in your
room. How do you know but
that somebody may judge you
by the way you decorate your
study? Presumably, you were
not <i>raised in a barn</i>, and there
can be no <i>harm</i> in letting the
appearance of your room bear
out this as fact.</p>
<div class="sidenote">FITTING
IT UP</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> try to make a <i>royal residence</i>
of your room. Your taste<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span>
may alter. A College man's taste
often undergoes rapid and violent
revolution <i>for the better</i>, within
the first year.</p>
<div class="sidenote">A WORD
ABOUT
RUGS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> think that you must have
Turkish rugs. <i>Generally</i>, a <i>Freshman</i>
cannot tell the real article
when he sees it. The man at the
sale may try to make you believe
they'll never wear out. Never
mind. You have only to <i>get</i>
them to know what he means.
Just get some old, reliable patterns.
There is a secret connected
with this. The older and dirtier
they get, the more <i>Oriental</i> they
look. You've no idea how much
sweeping this saves.</p>
<div class="sidenote">ABOUT
BRIC-A-BRAC</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> go in for a lot of fine
china, the first term. How can
<i>you</i> tell but that your neighbors
or visitors may not care as much
for that sort of thing as you?
Remember, that in a room where
costly china lies about in profusion,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span>
a "rough-house" may be
a more expensive variety of entertainment
than Grand Opera
<i>with seats for the family</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">ABOUT
DECORATIONS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> get angry if a Senior
comes into your room and looks
about and smiles. Probably, he's
only remembering that <i>he</i> once
decorated his room the way you
now do yours. Just <i>keep your
eyes open</i> when you go into older
fellows' rooms. You'll soon learn
that two crossed college flags, a
vile plaster copy of the Venus
de Milo, and a copy of the Barye
Lion as <i>sole</i> decorations may
be lived down,—or later <i>pulled
down</i>. If you wish to be <i>exceptionally</i>
original, don't go in for
either the flags or the casts. Yet, in
following years, these things may
become good old friends to remind
you that <i>you</i> were <i>once</i> a
Freshman.</p>
<div class="sidenote">ABOUT
FURNITURE</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> overdo with respect to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span>
<i>furniture</i>, even if you can afford
it; it <i>may</i> make some of your
visitors uncomfortable. If you
<i>can't</i> afford it, you'll be made
uncomfortable yourself.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THE
COLLEGE
COLOR</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> mistake the <i>color</i> of your
College. A good many Freshmen
do this;—it is especially
pathetic, by the way, to see a
Freshman waving a flag which is
<i>off-color</i> at a big game. Sometimes
the mistake is attributed to
color-blindness. This is a charitable
interpretation.</p>
<div class="sidenote">ABOUT
THAT
STUDY-DESK</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> buy a roll-top desk or
an iron safe during your first
year. You know, you may not
care to occupy one room <i>all
through College</i>. We heard of one
house having to be torn down,
that a Freshman might move out
with his roll-top desk. Not only
this, but when he failed to find
another place, a house had to be
built up around his cumbersome
furniture. It was a case of this
or his <i>rooming in the desk</i>.</p>
<div class="figcenter" style="width: 369px;">
<img src="images/i_008a.png" width="369" height="600" alt="Decorated room" />
<span class="caption">DONT OVERDO THE <i>DECORATION</i> OF YOUR ROOM</span>
</div>
<div class="sidenote">GETTING
ON</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> think that you have fairly
<i>got on</i> to things while the tray
of your trunk is still <i>unpacked</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">TAKING A
HAZING</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> look too sober if hazing
happens to be in vogue, and the
Sophomores order you about.
Remember that you can make
the affair either a <i>funeral</i> or a
<i>farce;</i> and it's pleasanter to be
the leading man in a farce than
to be the principal at a funeral.
The best way to get along
with Sophomores is to take them
good-naturedly. Don't be nauseatingly
saccharine, for that's <i>just</i>
about as bad as getting mad
about it. Just fool them into thinking
you're <i>enjoying</i> yourself, and
they'll stop.</p>
<div class="sidenote">A TRICK
ABOUT
RECEIVING
VISITORS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> neglect to <i>receive</i> your
<i>visitors</i> as if you were glad to
see them. This is not encouraging
hypocrisy, inasmuch as the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a><br /><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span>
recommendation <i>need not include</i>
the laundryman or the tailor's
collector. You couldn't fool <i>them</i>,
anyway. It is not polite, when
visitors come, always to be found
with a green shade over your
eyes. When a visitor calls, look
as if you had just been waiting
for some one to talk to. If you
improve your time <i>between</i> visitors,
they ought not to cause you
to waste any valuable time.</p>
<div class="sidenote">MUSICAL
TEMPERANCE</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> play the piano at all
hours. Have a regular time for
practice; then your neighbors may
<i>protect</i> themselves. If you play
the violin or the trumpet, <i>don't
overdo it;</i> you are tempting Fate.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THE
PROCTOR</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> incur the anger of your
Proctor by noisy conduct or
disrespect. Proctors—especially
young ones—are apt to feel their
oats and to report you on slight
provocation. But a friendly Proctor
is a friend worth having.</p><hr class="chap" /><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span></p>
<h2>AS TO DRESS</h2>
<div class="sidenote">VARSITY
AND PREP-SCHOOL
FASHIONS</div>
<div class="figleft" style="width: 152px;">
<img src="images/i_011-drop-d.png" width="152" height="177" alt="D" />
</div><div class='unindent'><br /><br />ON'T wear your Prep-school
hat-band, or
flash your High-school
Fraternity
pin upon your almost
manly chest.
These are stock idiosyncrasies of
the <i>Freshman</i>. Just remember that
<i>School</i> fashions do <i>not</i> prevail at
<i>College</i>.</div>
<div class="sidenote">THE
"SPORTY"
DRESSER</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> dress too "sporty," during
the first term. The effects
you try to imitate at <i>this</i> period
of the game are apt to be only
the superficial and amusing ones.</p>
<div class="sidenote">A SHORT
WORD
ABOUT
LONG HAIR</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> wear <i>long</i> hair. Hair, if
left to grow as it listeth, may
attain to a surprising length within
a single season. The Freshman
year is <i>not</i> the time to test<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span>
the accuracy of this statement.
Wait till you are a Sophomore;
then you won't care to. Remember
that long hair is the <i>Poet's</i>
privilege (though <i>not</i> always <i>proof</i>
of a Poet). To wear long hair,
you had better take out a Poet's
license. In this respect a <i>dog-license</i>
will do if you fail to
qualify as Poet.</p>
<div class="sidenote">WHISKERS
AND SUCH</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> feel it <i>incumbent</i> upon
you to wear a <i>beard</i> or a <i>moustache</i>,
if you happen to have
raised one on the farm or in
England, during the summer.
Whiskers are the <i>plus sign</i> of <i>masculinity</i>.
Upper-classmen do not
appreciate them in Freshmen.</p>
<div class="sidenote">ABOUT
THOSE
SPARKLERS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> wear too much <i>jewelry;</i>
as an <i>over-amount</i> of it suggests
trips to places where they <i>loan
money</i>.</p>
<div class="figleft" style="width: 367px;">
<img src="images/i_012a.png" width="367" height="600" alt="Young man dressed up in hat, tie, coat, lapel pins, pocket handkerchief, carrying a cane" />
<span class="caption">DONT DRESS TOO SPORTY</span>
</div>
<div class="sidenote">HORSY
ORNAMENTS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> affect stick-pins bearing
large horses' heads or horseshoes,
thinking these will demonstrate
that you <i>keep a gig</i>.
The horsy ornament connotes the
coachman's white tie and the
odor of the <i>stable</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THAT
CANE</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> carry a <i>cane</i> in your
Freshman year; something is
<i>very</i> likely to happen to it.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THAT
TALL
HAT</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> be found displaying a
<i>tall hat</i>. A tall hat is a mighty
nice thing for Sister's wedding
<i>at home;</i> but better <i>leave</i> it there.
Its dignity is liable to fade, like the
glory that was Greece and the
grandeur that was Rome. It was
only because those nations got <i>too
chesty</i>, you remember, that the
Vandals of old worried them.</p>
<div class="sidenote">CRAZY
MEN—CRAZY
CLOTHES</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> think that crazy or odd
clothes are necessarily "College"
clothes. Lots of College men <i>do</i>
wear crazy clothes; but it isn't
so much because they're College
men, as because they're <i>crazy</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">SANE
DRESS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> forget to dress neatly and
up to your means. You owe it<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a><br /><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span>
to yourself to dress as <i>well</i> as
you can. I don't mean that
owing this to <i>yourself</i> should necessitate
your continually owing
something to your <i>tailor</i>. You do
not <i>owe</i> it to yourself to <i>owe anybody</i>.</p><hr class="chap" /><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span></p>
<h2><a name="AS_TO_DINING" id="AS_TO_DINING">AS TO DINING</a></h2>
<div class="sidenote">YOUR
DINING
PLACE</div>
<div class="figleft" style="width: 151px;">
<img src="images/i_015.png" width="151" height="179" alt="D" />
</div><div class='unindent'><br />ON'T begin by resorting
habitually to
the Quick Lunch.
Nobody ever made
<i>friends</i> at a Quick
Lunch, except with
the waitresses. Select a good
place where there are lots of fellows
whom you will see continually.
You ought to pick out
some good friends from among
them.</div>
<div class="sidenote">YOUR
TABLE</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> attempt, in a large dining
hall, to get a place at a society,
club, or athletic table for which
you have <i>not yet qualified</i>. You
are liable to <i>queer yourself</i> from
the start.</p>
<div class="sidenote">TABLE
TALK</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> try continually to air the
sum of <i>knowledge</i> which you are<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span>
just assimilating. There are <i>few</i>
things more pathetic than the
first-year chemist who keeps asking
you at table to "pass the
NaCl," or the fledgling psychologist
who would try to prove that
bread-and-butter is matter for <i>the
mind</i> and not for <i>the stomach</i>.</p>
<div class="figcenter" style="width: 366px;">
<img src="images/i_16a.png" width="366" height="600" alt="people leaving by the door with man still sitting at the table" />
<span class="caption">DONT MONOPOLIZE THE <i>CONVERSATION</i> AT THE TABLE</span>
</div>
<div class="sidenote">LOCAL
EGOTISM</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> keep telling how they do
things in that part of the country
which <i>you</i> come from. The assumption
is, that since you came
to College, you are willing to
<i>learn something</i> of how they do
things here.</p>
<div class="sidenote">LISTENING
TO OTHERS</div>
<p><i>Don't monopolize the conversation</i>
at the table, especially if
there are older men around.
You'll get yourself snubbed if
you talk <i>too</i> much about <i>yourself</i>.
Fellows don't care much whether
your grandfather kept a brake
and ten horses, or drove a "shay"
over the <i>plank-road</i>. Be a good
listener. Then, too, older men<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span>
<i>like</i> to be listened to. The chances
are you will learn a <i>sight</i> more
by hearing them than they will by
hearing <i>you</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">KNOCKING
THE GRUB</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> continually <i>find fault</i>
with the things you have to eat.
Act as if you were used <i>to eating
away from home</i>. Half the time
the jokes you make at the expense
of the food come merely
from an uncontrollable desire to
air your wit. "Knocking the
grub" doesn't require <i>half</i> so
much brains or individuality as
<i>shutting up</i> about it.</p><hr class="chap" /><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span></p>
<h2><a name="AS_TO_LECTURES" id="AS_TO_LECTURES">AS TO LECTURES
AND STUDIES</a></h2>
<div class="sidenote">ATTENDANCE
AT
LECTURES</div>
<div class="figleft" style="width: 151px;">
<img src="images/i_018.png" width="151" height="177" alt="D" />
</div><div class='unindent'><br />ON'T forget to attend
a <i>large per cent.</i>
of your lectures.
The information
dispensed in lectures
is <i>often</i> to be
found <i>invaluable</i> in passing the
Examinations.</div>
<div class="sidenote">CHOOSING
COURSES</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> let yourself be mesmerized
into taking a lot of things
you feel a positive <i>disinclination</i>
for. Many a Freshman has spoiled
his first year in this way; and,
failing to pass, has left <i>College</i>
and become a street-car conductor
or a clerk.</p>
<div class="sidenote">"SNAP"
COURSES</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> mistake the willingness
to accept a "snap" course for a
<i>startling aptitude</i> for a subject.</p>
<div class="sidenote">ELECTIVE
SYSTEM</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> abuse the <i>Elective System</i><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span>
if you are privileged to be at a
College where it is employed.
It is a system which presupposes
your own <i>interest</i> in your <i>intellectual
welfare</i>. It is too easy to
fill up with a lot of unrelated
subjects. You may say, "But I
desire a broad education." Very
good. Did you ever go to a
circus? There the prettiest feats
are performed upon the broad,
spacious back of <i>one</i> horse. The
rider gets the broadest-backed
critter he can find that will keep
moving. Those who ride two and
three horses <i>take a risk</i>. In College
you may find that when you
try to do the <i>intellectual split</i>,
you're liable to <i>fall down between</i>
your horses.</p>
<div class="sidenote">ABOUT
MEETING
PROFESSORS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> neglect any honest opportunities
you may have to make
friends with an Instructor or a Professor.
Meeting Teachers represents
a privilege and <i>not always</i><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span>
necessarily a pull. As for knowing
Professors intimately, few do,
except other Professors. As for
their knowing <i>us</i> intimately, it
might seem as if this seldom
happens, until it comes time to
expel us.</p>
<div class="sidenote">MALINGERING</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> try to fool the College
Doctor into believing that you
can't go to lectures, or are going
to die, because you've sprained
your left thumb. Generally, the
College Doctor is a shrewd man,
or he would <i>not</i> be the College
Doctor.</p>
<div class="sidenote">ABOUT
REQUIRED
READING</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> fail to make a list of the
<i>required reading</i> in any course.
And do <i>some</i> of it—say, a little
more than will enable you merely
to pass the Exam. It is barely possible
that the reading you have
done in connection with your College
courses will some day prove
you an <i>educated man</i>. As for doing
<i>all</i> the reading that <i>all</i> the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span>
Professors require—well, a fellow
<i>must</i> sleep and eat.</p>
<div class="sidenote">WORKING
FOR
EXAMS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> think that <i>Exams</i> can be
passed without any preparation.
It takes <i>some</i>. The <i>minimum</i> has
not yet been determined; nor has
the <i>maximum</i>. The <i>middlemum</i>
has even been known to vary,
according as the instructor imagines
that the crowd <i>is</i> or <i>is not</i>
taking the course as a snap. The
<i>little birdies</i> are <i>surely</i> in league
with the Faculty.</p>
<div class="sidenote">INTELLECTUAL
NARCOTICS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> rely upon <i>special tutors</i>
to pass all your courses. It's lazy
and not entirely self-respecting.
When our friend Gulliver went
to Laputa, he met certain Teachers
who gave their pupils small
intellectual wafers. These they
swallowed upon <i>empty stomachs</i>.
As the wafers digested, the tincture
mounted to the pupil's brain,
bearing the proposition along
with it. The same system of cramming<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span>
exists today; only it <i>doesn't
always work as advertised</i>. A fellow
resorts to special tutors when
he has lost confidence, and needs
an <i>intellectual narcotic</i>. Special
tutors represent the drug-capsule
of learning. <i>Why</i> be a <i>dope-fiend?</i></p>
<div class="sidenote">IN THE
EXAMS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> try in your <i>Exams</i> to
make a hit by writing long
papers. The <i>Exam</i> is <i>not</i> an endurance
contest. Somehow, long
papers don't take, unless there is
<i>some sense</i> in everything you have
written. If you don't believe this,
<i>try it and find out</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">PREDIGESTED
INFORMATION</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> rely wholly upon <i>typewritten
notes</i> to get through your
courses. Many College Professors
show no quarter to those whom
they ascertain to be addicted to
this predigested form of information.
Often the Professor's life-specialty
is the tracing of literary
works to their <i>sources;</i> so be careful.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span>
Better take notes in lectures;
if this serve no other purpose,
'twill keep you <i>awake</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">PUTTING
OFF WORK</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> put off that long piece of
<i>written work</i> till the night before it
is due. A piece of work about
which you have been warned
months beforehand, can't be
done between 8 p.m. and 3 a.m.
Here "<i>rush orders</i>," contrary to
the rule, spoil. If you come up
to the scratch as you should, in
the matter of long pieces of written
work, the Instructor will almost
forget how <i>dog-goned lazy</i>
you have been all along in the
little things.</p>
<div class="sidenote">IDLING</div>
<p><i>Don't idle</i> away time to such
an extent that you get a reputation
as an idler, either among
your friends, or with the members
of the Faculty. You'll find
such a reputation hard to <i>live
down</i>. Notwithstanding the fact
that everybody is <i>supposed</i> to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span>
come by a love of Learning in
College, there are some things
which the Faculty will <i>not</i> take
for granted. With the Faculty,
the chronic idler will find that
his name is <i>anathema</i>, or <i>Dennis</i>
at least.</p>
<div class="figleft" style="width: 365px;">
<img src="images/i_24a.png" width="365" height="600" alt="steps to fame and honour" />
<span class="caption">DONT FAIL TO KEEP IN MIND THE STEPS OF <i>DESCENT</i></span>
</div>
<div class="sidenote">THE
DESCENT
TO
AVERNUS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> fail to keep in mind the
flight of steps which represents
the <i>descent</i> from the plane of
regular work. It goes something
like this: <i>work</i>, <i>slack work</i>, <i>probation</i>,
<i>special probation</i>, then, "I
am sorry to inform you that the
Faculty has decided that you are
no longer needed to ornament
the College," etc. After which, it
is the greased-slide, <i>down and out</i>,
so to speak. In other words, you
are about to feel the thrill of Academic
life along your keel for
the last time. <i>Facilis descensus
Averni:</i> Avernus being the cold,
cold world, and the bother of
having to explain to one's relations
and friends in the home
town <i>how it all happened</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THE
COLLEGE
OFFICE</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> show disrespect or contempt
for the <i>College Dean</i>, or
for the retinue within his gates.
Once you "queer" yourself with
the <i>College Office</i>, you are on
dangerous footing, and the <i>College
Degree</i> you seek is no longer
seen to be "constant as the <i>northern
star</i>." Keep the Degree in
mind; <i>hitch your wagon</i> to it. But
don't get <i>too</i> ambitious in the way
of Degrees. We once heard of a
fellow who was called up and
given the <i>Third Degree</i> by the
Faculty, without ever being graduated.</p><hr class="chap" /><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a><br /><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span></p>
<h2>AS TO COLLEGE
ORGANIZATIONS AND
FRIENDS</h2>
<div class="sidenote">TRYING
FOR
THINGS</div>
<div class="figleft" style="width: 150px;">
<img src="images/i_026.png" width="150" height="175" alt="S" />
</div><div class='unindent'><br />ON'T hesitate to go
out for <i>any teams</i>
or <i>papers</i> or <i>musical
clubs</i> which you
think you'd like to
make. The mere
<i>trying for things</i> shows you're not
a <i>dead one</i>. If you are good
enough, you'll find these things
mean more than you ever had
thought they could; if you fail
to make them, you'll never regret
having tried. As you grow
older, you will see that you
<i>never</i> could have done certain
things you thought you could,
and you'll have a first-rate opinion
of your former self and your
ambition.</div>
<div class="sidenote">SORTING
OUT YOUR
INTERESTS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> be surprised or disappointed,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span>
if you find you have
neither time nor inclination to
keep up with everything you
thought you would, when first
coming to College. Your interests
naturally needed a <i>sorting
out</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">ONE WAY
<i>NOT</i> TO
MAKE A
TEAM</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> think that offering suggestions
to an athletic <i>Coach</i> is
the way to <i>make a team</i>. And
don't answer back if the <i>Coach</i>
speaks harshly to you; be thankful
for <i>any</i> of his attention, even
if it be gruff. With some Coaches,
swearing is more than a liberal
art; many think that the oftener
they send their men to <i>Hell</i> during
practice, the surer they are of
sending them to <i>Victory</i> in the
contest.</p>
<div class="sidenote">ABOUT
SOCIAL
CLUBS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i>, for Heaven's sake, ask
people how one ought to go
about getting into <i>Social clubs</i>.
It isn't considered polite. Just
<i>why</i>, I can't tell you; but you'll<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span>
<i>learn why</i>, some day, if you are
the <i>right sort</i>.</p>
<div class="figleft" style="width: 370px;">
<img src="images/i_028a.png" width="370" height="600" alt="young man offering hand to man in bowler" />
<span class="caption">DONT ANSWER BACK IF THE COACH <i>SPEAKS HARSHLY</i> TO YOU</span>
</div>
<div class="sidenote">ACQUAINTANCES
AND
FRIENDS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> hesitate to accept all
chances for <i>making friends</i>, especially
among your Class. Don't
think that you can always control
the making of friends; you
<i>can't</i>. Friends are <i>Heaven-sent</i>.
Hold the ones you make, and
count yourself lucky if you make
half a dozen <i>very</i> good friends
your first year. There is a difference
between <i>acquaintances</i> and
<i>friends</i>, by the way, just as there
is a difference between fellows to
whom you'd casually offer a cigarette
and those to whom you'd
gladly offer your pocket-book.</p>
<div class="sidenote">USELESS
PREJUDICE</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> rely too much on <i>prejudice</i>
in deciding what certain fellows
may or may not be good
for. You <i>may or may not</i> be right.
<i>Your</i> standard may or may not
be the only small stone on the
seashore.</p>
<div class="sidenote">ABOUT
VISITING</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> invite everybody you
meet to your room. It doesn't
pay. But make a point of <i>accepting</i>
as many invitations as possible
which come from men you like.
Visit any upper-classman who
takes the trouble to offer you his
hospitality. It may help you to
<i>get on</i>, later.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THAT
HAND-SHAKE</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> shake hands like a clam.
The <i>flipper-shake</i> is not popular,
and may make you distrusted.
You'll need a good <i>hand-shake</i>
all through College.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THE
WOMAN
QUESTION:
THE
QUESTIONABLE</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> be one of those who
continually pick up anything on
the street that wears a bonnet
and high heels. There are lots
of girls who are willing, at any
time, to be seen with a College
man. <i>The varieties differ</i>. Some
are genuinely pretty; others wear
the deliberate as distinguished
from the natural complexion, being
perhaps not so well preserved<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a><br /><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span>
as carefully preserved.
Maybe you think it is great fun
to take a partner into the small
hotel dining-room with an "I-do-this-every-evening"
kind of air.
But you <i>may</i> find out, after smoking
your brandy and drinking
your cigarettes, that it <i>isn't</i> pleasant
to be played for a "<i>good
thing</i>."</p>
<div class="sidenote">THE
UNQUESTIONABLE</div>
<p><i>Don't</i>, however, neglect any
opportunity to meet ladies of
your own station. You are <i>sure</i>
to require their society from time
to time. The Monastic life is not
profitable for a man at College.
The <i>purr of pretty women</i> and the
occasional exchange of <i>amicable
nothings</i> will preserve your social
soul and keep the little <i>blood-pumping
organ</i> in good condition.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THE ART
OF
SHUTTING
UP</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> hesitate to hear other
people's opinions. The World
did not begin, nor will it end,
with <i>you</i>.</p><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span></p>
<div class="sidenote">WHERE
SUCCESS
FAILS</div>
<p><i>Don't strut</i> or <i>look patronizing</i>,
if you happen to have success;
it makes people feel sorry for you.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THE
LITTLE
THINGS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> forget the <i>little</i> things;
fellows notice them. Some will
even judge you by the way
you give or receive a match or
cigarette.</p>
<div class="sidenote">SUMMING
UP THE
CLUB
PROBLEM</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> imagine that your entire
success in College will be finally
measured by the number of Clubs
you make during your first year.
Always remember, that it is the
standing of the ones you identify
yourself with which counts.
Don't join <i>any</i> final Club or
Society until you <i>feel pretty sure</i>
you could not do <i>better</i>.</p><hr class="chap" /><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span></p>
<h2>AS TO THINGS IN
GENERAL</h2>
<div class="sidenote">SAVING
AND
WASTING</div>
<div class="figleft" style="width: 150px;">
<img src="images/i_032.png" width="150" height="175" alt="D" />
</div><div class='unindent'><br />ON'T expect to lay
up a bank account
by what you save
from living inside
your allowance.
There are lots of unexpected
things coming up which
cost money. Only be careful and
choose the things that seem necessary.
You can't <i>save</i> much money;
but you don't have to <i>waste</i> a
cent to live and be a gentleman.</div>
<div class="sidenote">WRITING
HOME</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> forget to <i>write home</i> once
every so often. Mama and Papa
are always glad to see the
College-town postmark; and, like
as not, Papa is paying your
way through College. Think how
you'd feel, if he forgot, sometimes,
to send that <i>check<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span>!</i></p>
<div class="sidenote">WHEN
FATHER
COMES TO
TOWN</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> treat <i>Father</i> or <i>Uncle John</i>
shabbily if one of them happens
in town unexpectedly. Maybe
<i>you'll</i> have a son or a nephew
in the old place one day; and
then <i>you'll</i> like to take a run
out, once in a while, and see how
things are getting on.</p>
<div class="sidenote">SHOWING
OFF AT
HOME</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> swagger when you go
<i>home</i> for your first Thanksgiving
or Christmas vacation. It doesn't
make your friends envious of
you. It's apt to make them <i>sore</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">RUNNING
BILLS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> think that because you
can charge things at almost any
store in the College Town, it is
your duty to have your name on
the books of <i>every</i> firm. You don't
need to back <i>every</i> enterprise; besides,
most every firm has a habit
of rendering monthly bills, and a
few of these make even a <i>fair
allowance</i> look washed out and
<i>faded</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THAT
AUTOMOBILE</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> think that it is your<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span>
Father's duty to present you with
an <i>automobile</i>. In Father's day, it
was <i>possible</i> for a boy to go
through College without one of
these things. Remember that it
cost a few pence to repair them
and run them;—or rather run
them and then repair them; and
Father's twenty years in business
have taught him a <i>few</i>
things. Many a father would as
soon buy his son an auto, but is
not willing to <i>endow</i> one.</p>
<div class="figleft" style="width: 365px;">
<img src="images/i_034a.png" width="365" height="600" alt="young man in door of shop looking at pocketwatch" />
<span class="caption">DONT PAWN YOUR WATCH DURING YOUR FIRST YEAR</span>
</div>
<div class="sidenote">ABOUT
PAWNING
YOUR
WATCH</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> pawn your watch or
sleeve-links during your first year.
This privilege is limited to upper-classmen
who do Society. A
pawn-ticket is a <i>very</i> compromising
thing if found by some of
your close relatives. You don't
know what it is? It is a thin slip
of paper somewhat resembling a
check; only it weighs <i>more heavily
on the mind</i>. No matter <i>how</i>
funny a story you make at home
of pawning your Grandfather's
watch, the heads of the family
<i>never</i> see the joke. When you
rake in the price of exchange for
your pawned watch, it seems just
like <i>finding</i> money, <i>but</i> when you
pay it back out of a slim allowance
at the end of the month,
it seems like <i>losing</i> the same
amount, <i>plus</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">GETTING
HOOKED
ON</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> buy <i>cigars</i> in <i>wholesale</i>
quantities from mysterious-looking
foreigners, who say they have
just done a neat little job of
smuggling from Havana, and are
willing to let you in on a <i>good</i>
thing. They may even flatter you
by telling you that <i>you</i> look trustworthy.
They really mean that
you look easy. It's <i>your</i> move.</p>
<div class="sidenote">BEGGARS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> give money to able-bodied
beggars. Some may even
speak good French or German.
If you happen to be taking French
or German, you will imagine that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a><br /><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span>
<i>you</i> are the <i>only</i> one in the world
who can help them. But don't
yield. As for crippled or blind
and deaf beggars, help them now
and then. You don't have to
listen to their reminiscences of
<i>Life in a Saw-mill</i> to do this, unless
you care for that sort of thing.</p>
<div class="sidenote">QUESTIONS
OF CONSCIENCE—YOUR
OWN
BUSINESS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> kill your <i>conscience</i> in regard
to matters which you have
been brought up to see in certain
definite lights. If you think playing
cards for money and the
drinking of beer wrong, then <i>don't</i>
play and <i>don't</i> indulge. You'll
never be thought less of in College
for hanging on to principle.
Just be sure that your principles
are <i>worth</i> sticking up for, and then
<i>stick</i>. A wise old Englishman puts
it this way: "Obey your conscience;
but just be <i>sure</i> that your
conscience is not that of an <i>ass</i>."</p>
<div class="sidenote">THE 52
PASTEBOARDS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> get into the <i>little game</i> too
often. Under certain conditions<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span>
it's as easy as rolling off the
decalogue. Sometimes you get
in because you're afraid others
will think you are afraid to play.
This is really not courage. A
word more: when you're in,
often the time when you <i>think</i>
you can't afford to stop is just
the time when you <i>can</i> best afford
it. Take this advice; it is better
than that of <i>R. E. Morse</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">SPENDING
MONEY</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> keep <i>spending money</i> for
a lot of things that you would
hardly care to itemize in the
account you send to Father. Remember
how he said, "I'll keep
you decently, only I don't want
College to make only a sport of
my boy." Sometimes, when you
are pressed, you think of asking
Father to lend you money to be
<i>paid back</i> with interest, when you
get <i>older</i>. Don't be surprised if he
refuses and asks, "<i>Where's</i> your
collateral?" Remember that the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span>
Business World, hunting about
for something to which to attach
its respect and admiration, does
<i>not</i> single out the <i>Undergraduate</i>
in <i>College</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">EARNING
MONEY</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> be ashamed of chances
to <i>earn money</i> in College, if you
need it. More fellows earn their
way through College than you
have any idea of. College men
have <i>lots</i> of respect for a fellow
who isn't ashamed to <i>work</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THE DEAD
GAME ACT</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> be a Sport or a Snob.
Either is fatal. The <i>dead game act</i>
plays itself out sooner than those
who work it suppose, and serves
oftener to <i>point a weakness</i> than
<i>adorn a virtue</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">IMITATING</div>
<p><i>Don't imitate</i> the manner of
some one else. When you try
to be <i>like some one else</i>, you only
succeed in being <i>unlike yourself</i>.
People don't expect or want you
to be like them.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THE FANCY
INCOME
POSE</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> pretend that you have a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span>
<i>fancy income</i>, if you haven't. It's
a cheap, expensive pose. Lots
of fellows get money regularly
from home. All they have to do,
it would seem, is to rip open
letters and sign their names on
the back of what falls out. If
you <i>aren't</i> in this class, don't
<i>pretend</i> you are. It isn't <i>how much</i>
money you've got, but <i>how you
make what you've got do</i>, that
shows you up a good one.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THAT
BANK
ACCOUNT</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> fail to keep one eye on
that <i>bank account</i>. It <i>slowly</i> and
<i>surely</i> dwindles. It needs watching
especially, about the time the
elms put on their new leaves,
and the undergraduates their new
flannel trousers. To end the year
with an over-drawn bank account
is risky. No fellow can afford to
have his <i>credit</i> go <i>below</i> par.</p>
<div class="sidenote">EXERCISE</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> neglect the <i>health</i> habit.
Substitute the tennis racquet for
the cigarette, one of these days,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span>
and note the <i>difference</i>. It may
make you feel like a <i>King</i> in the
<i>pink</i> of condition; after which
you'll probably try it again, which
won't hurt you a bit.</p>
<div class="sidenote">JOKES</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> repeat <i>all</i> the <i>jokes</i> that
come into your head. Avoid especially
jokes that may be old.
Many a fellow's popularity may
hinge on the fact that he'll <i>listen</i>
to a funny story without insisting
on telling another that isn't <i>quite</i>
so funny.</p>
<div class="sidenote">SHOWING
OFF</div>
<p><i>Don't</i>, if you are from a large
well-to-do Preparatory School,
talk too much about it, or think
that the College must be run on
the <i>same plan</i> as your school.
Your views may not be <i>appreciated</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">SWAGGERING</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> aspire to be taken for an
upper-classman by cultivating a
walk or a <i>swagger</i> or an <i>air</i>. You
can work this <i>so</i> hard, that finally
you are the only one deceived.</p><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span></p>
<div class="sidenote">ROWDYISM</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> be rowdyish, or <i>get the
reputation</i> of being a drunken fellow.
The <i>real</i> fun you get out
of <i>College</i> need not be a continual
round of batting.</p>
<div class="sidenote">ABOUT
BEING
SNUBBED</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> think it is always entirely
the <i>other</i> man's fault if he fails
to speak to you. If you have
not the ability to make an impression
worth another's remembering,
<i>look to yourself</i>.</p>
<div class="sidenote">COLLEGE
HABITS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> be a <i>fool</i>. This is the
sum and the substance of all
that herein precedes. A fellow
shows himself a fool or not a
fool by his <i>habits</i>. <i>College habits</i>
are funny things. The sooner
you form your College habits
the <i>better</i>,—or <i>worse</i>. To put off
the sensible resolve till the time
of your last exam may be as
useless as the call of the <i>doctor</i>
after the <i>minister</i> has left.</p>
<div class="sidenote">ABOUT
BEING THE
ASS</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> imagine for a moment
that coming to <i>College</i> enables<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span>
you to act in a superior way to
others who have not enjoyed the
same privilege. A <i>College</i> career
is a grand, good thing; but its
<i>object</i> is to enable you, if possible,
better to <i>understand</i> the World,
not to <i>lift</i> you at all above it.
The World hates a fool; but a
<i>College-bred fool</i>, it thoroughly
despises. Don't let your ears
grow long, and don't bray.</p>
<div class="sidenote">ABOUT
BEING A
GENTLEMAN</div>
<p><i>Don't</i> imagine that the <i>College
Catalogue</i>, or even <i>this book</i>, can
tell you <i>all</i> the things you need
to know concerning how to make
a man of yourself. After all, its
really <i>up to you</i>. Look about,
and be a gentleman. You say,
"But these few remarks hardly
<i>begin</i> to solve the problem."
And echo answers, "<i>VERBUM
SAP</i>."</p><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span></p>
<blockquote><p>HERE ENDS THE COLLEGE FRESHMAN'S DON'T
BOOK BY G. F. E. (A. B.) A SYMPATHIZER. DECORATIONS
AND INITIALS BY RAYMOND CARTER
ILLUSTRATIONS BY CHARLES FRANK INGERSON
PUBLISHED BY PAUL ELDER & COMPANY AND
PRINTED FOR THEM BY THE TOMOYE PRESS
UNDER THE DIRECTION OF J. H. NASH IN THE
CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO DURING THE MONTH
OF MAY AND YEAR NINETEEN HUNDRED & TEN</p></blockquote>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class='tnote'>
<h3>Transcriber's Notes:</h3>
<p>All of the illustration captions omit the apostrophe in the
word "DON'T." This was retained. All other punctuation was
corrected if wrong.</p>
<p>Page 9, "you" changed to "your" (your trunk is still)</p>
<p>Page 19, repeated word "to" deleted from text. Original
read (liable to <i>to fall down...</i>)</p>
<p>Page 29, "varities" changed to "varieties" (The varieties differ)</p>
</div>
<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 42467 ***</div>
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