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@@ -1,37 +1,4 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Feline Philosophy, by Walter Leon Hess - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: Feline Philosophy - -Author: Walter Leon Hess - -Release Date: June 9, 2013 [EBook #42897] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FELINE PHILOSOPHY *** - - - - -Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at -http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images -generously made available by The Internet Archive.) - - - - - - - - +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 42897 *** FELINE PHILOSOPHY @@ -40,7 +7,7 @@ generously made available by The Internet Archive.) RENDERED INTO ENGLISH - BY WALTER LEON HESS + BY WALTER LÉON HESS BOSTON @@ -50,7 +17,7 @@ generously made available by The Internet Archive.) - COPYRIGHT, 1919, BY WALTER LEON HESS + COPYRIGHT, 1919, BY WALTER LÉON HESS All Rights Reserved @@ -1170,367 +1137,6 @@ FIFTIETH CATERWAUL -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Feline Philosophy, by Walter Leon Hess - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FELINE PHILOSOPHY *** - -***** This file should be named 42897.txt or 42897.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/2/8/9/42897/ - -Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at -http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images -generously made available by The Internet Archive.) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: Feline Philosophy - -Author: Walter Léon Hess - -Release Date: June 9, 2013 [EBook #42897] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FELINE PHILOSOPHY *** - - - - -Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at -http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images -generously made available by The Internet Archive.) - - - - - - - - - - FELINE PHILOSOPHY - - - BY THOMAS CAT - - - RENDERED INTO ENGLISH - BY WALTER LÉON HESS - - - BOSTON - RICHARD G. BADGER - THE GORHAM PRESS - - - - - COPYRIGHT, 1919, BY WALTER LÉON HESS - - All Rights Reserved - - - Made in the United States of America - - The Gorham Press, Boston, U. S. A. - - - - - _I have nine lives - And a number of wives-- - But at last I must put a ban - On feline ways - And midnight lays - For now I live with man!_ - -[Illustration] - - - - -FELINE PHILOSOPHY - -BY THOMAS CAT - -[Illustration] - - - - -FELINE PHILOSOPHY - -BY THOMAS CAT - - - - -FIRST CATERWAUL - - - The family have gone to the country, - Horton, his wife and four children. - They took the butler and maids, the dogs, - The canaries and parrot. Shutters - They put on the house and the keys - Are turned in the locks. The silver - Was put in the vault and everything - Valuable carefully stowed.... - Little Jack - Looked well for me. But when he found me - Was told to put me outside; a cat has no - Place in a house that is closed for - The summer. - When they were sorely troubled - With rats and mice they coaxed me to - Come to live in the cellar. They fed - Me richly on cream and the choicest - Bits from their lavish table. They gave - Me a rug to sleep, and taught the children - To pet me. All took turns to feed me and - They saved the bones of each fish. - The - Mice and rats disappeared; the rug - Is filthy, in tatters. Old Horton curses - And kicks me and kicks me down stairs when he - Meets me; warns the baby to heed my - Claws and the older children that - Cats breed all sorts of diseases. Edith - Has young men to call and "cannot abide - The cat that is covered with ashes." - Only Jack remembers--which reminds me - How well I was treated. I was young when - They found me and now have grown wise in - Their councils. - I have no food and no - Lodging. - -[Illustration] - - - - -SECOND CATERWAUL - - - It's more than a week since I've eaten - And my bed is made in the gutter. Well-fed - And beggars go by and their boots are - All alike ready as soon as they spy me. - Jack Horton went by with his father and - Stooped to whisper his secret. Old Horton - Jerked his arm and urged that he'd miss - The train. So even railroad time - Seems relentless as the procession - Passes over and about me. Between buying - A new suit for his party - And his affection - Even young Jack had no choice. - Now I have to hunt - And I've eaten a sparrow for breakfast. - I ate with infinite relish - Though I never ate one before; - I was starved and the murder and crime - Were lost in my terrible necessity. - My depravity is beginning to wear.... - I shall wander down to the river.... - I have heard Jack's father say: - When a man falls so low as that - He had better drown himself than-- - I've forgotten the rest; I cannot think - In my present state of mind. - - - - -THIRD CATERWAUL - - - Arrived at the wharf there was not - Another soul in sight ... except at the very end - Where sat a most woebegone looking Tramp - Smoking what was once a cigar - Of price. Half smoked it had been thrust - In the gutter at the theater-entrance - By a careless and prosperous merchant. - The Tramp was very near to the edge looking out - Over the water as blankly as a blind man. - A man! Look at him ... and I a mere cat! - No doubt Old Horton was right.... One leap - Into the darkness and all gloomy thoughts, - All trouble, like the half-finished cigar - Would give place to beautiful dreams and - Never-ending.... At least it cannot be much - Worse.... No! Far better than the foul gutter - And the murderous cravings for the unattainable. - I shall burst my bonds and jump in. - -[Illustration] - - - - -FOURTH CATERWAUL - - - It gave a terrible fright when I struck - The water. Even in filth and mud I found it more - Pleasure to swim than to drown. How comfortable - The gutter now seemed but my strength was - Utterly useless.... My thoughts had been - Less overwhelming than the murky slime that - Would kill me ... and to sink, to be swallowed - By fishes that had been sweet food for my palate. - A boat came out of the darkness and a brown - Arm folded me up from the last gasp in the river. - It was going out to a yacht and the mate was the - Man who rescued: "What luck with our rats and mice - To find this bedraggled feline.... Maggie can give - It some milk and the Master won't curse for the - Vermin...." - Perhaps I was born as an antidote! - Perhaps I have no choice what to do! - But whatever may be I shall at least do - What is expected, the best that I can-- - How else can I expect anything? - - - - -FIFTH CATERWAUL - - - Did you ever see a palace in a desert? - Ralph Dimon was a good catch and Irene's - Father was very rich. Low necked dress, - Dress clothes, lace, jewelry, curtains of - Fine brocade, mahogany panellings and - Nickel-mountings dimmed the lights of Brough's - Yacht and were more plentiful than the drops - Of water that had nearly drowned me. - As I was lifted over the side I saw the - Two lovers lounging in the bow where there - Were no lights; while inside the electric - Lamps burned neglected. The wind blew a gale - And I shivered; but comfortable surroundings - And even diamonds would warm anybody but a - Half drowned cat.... - I wonder if pink ribbons - And a silver-mounted collar would have made - Me warmer or less hungry ... and I was most - Interested because Irene's father never paid - His bills without a lawsuit.... Perhaps I might - With ribbon and collar have had food for the asking. - But an honest cat must be kicked around - The kitchen by Maggie. Maggie was used to it: - "Haven't you better sense than to bring such - Rubbish aboard, Jim? Old Brough will miss the - Milk and there'll be the devil to pay."--And - To think how I could rid this palace of vermin.... - But that would cost Father Brough money and - It wouldn't show.... - Jim put me ashore ... but I was grateful! - -[Illustration] - - - - -SIXTH CATERWAUL - - - What a terrible contrast: from an interrupted - Yachting trip to the garbage can! The smell - Of the sea is sweeter but I wasn't dressed - For it.... The lure of a square meal is sweeter - Than the glitter of paste. - Think of finding a - Half beefsteak on top of the can! There was no - Gravy but it was cooked to perfection. I ate it - With relish, but should have enjoyed it better - If only some one would let me work for it-- - Especially such a meal.... And yet they say beggars - Cannot be choosers.... I found a lot more in the can - To eat, but the steak satisfied me. - I was very tired; so I went to sleep beside the - Can.... - When the collector came he took counsel of - My presence and hunted through to see what he could - Find of value. He looked up and down the street - And then slipped a half-roasted-chicken into his - Blouse; but not before casting me a look of - Triumph.... But I never can eat two meals at a - Sitting and chicken doesn't agree with me. Then, - Too, even honey is nourishing, but it may give - One indigestion.... I hope he enjoyed the chicken - As much as I did my banquet.... - Why, thought I, not - Offer to stay in this house where plenty runs - To overflowing.... - It proved to be Brough's! - -[Illustration] - - - - -SEVENTH CATERWAUL - - - I prefer the street and the gutter - To the hospitality Brough's might have offered. - How lucky to be a cat - Free to accept or--refuse - What is offered! - -[Illustration] - - - - -EIGHTH CATERWAUL - - - I found a door that was open. - The grass in the entry was cut close; - The hangings and drawing-room furniture - Immaculate in their smug neatness. Even the - Windows were clean and the books on the - Shelves were well dusted. I wandered into - The kitchen where oilcloth was spotless - And tidy. Even the walls were fresh-papered.... - No doubt to keep the kalsomine-water - From evaporating.... - Table-manners in such - A house, I fear, are more real than the eating. - I turned about and went out lest the hairs - In my coat might scatter. - -[Illustration] - - - - -NINTH CATERWAUL - - - I have been housed with Jerolamon Jones - And his wife, whom they call "tame cat," - For what seems a fairly long time. Jerry - They call him for short and short is the Bible - He reads. Lovers they are to the world and - To each other still more--for that is the - Judgment that counts.... Jerry has nights - "At the club" and loves his dear wife's - Friends. She can always reach him by 'phone - But she wouldn't do it for worlds as she - Trusts him beyond cavil or guile.... - And the tame cat sits on the laps of a - Dozen or more of his friends--but only - When Jerry is home. - I followed Jerry one night - But his club was not where he went.... - We came home exactly at twelve--and Marion - (That was his wife) was fast asleep in the sheets. - Fulton had kissed her that night--and of course - She told Jerry next day.... He trusted his wife - As she him.... - They were playing the game - When I left--I left because only I - Knew how to end the farce! - - - - -TENTH CATERWAUL - - - I have wandered over the city aimless and homeless, - Hungered in mind and in body. - Days are not irksome in sunshine - And rain promises more when it ceases. - But the nights are so intimate - And the rays of one's mind - Are perlucid. - Like a criminal tracing his steps - Back to the scene of iniquity, - I found myself in Horton's neighborhood.... - But the house was still closed for the summer. - -[Illustration] - - - - -ELEVENTH CATERWAUL - - - Mrs. Horton's maid, Alice, came home - With the keys. She left the window open - When she went to the corner for food. - I took unfair advantage--thus experience has taught me-- - Climbed in at the first opportunity. - I hid in her bedroom--the only door that was open. - After all I had suffered - Perhaps Jack would come back - And then my troubles be over. - For the first time in months - I slept without fear and in comfort.... - It must have been after midnight - When Old Horton came in. It was pitch dark - So he couldn't see me. It gave me uncanny pleasure - To follow him. He stole up to Alice's room - As if a hundred were watching. The door remained - Gaping to the empty house and--me. - Presently Alice screamed and the harrowing sound - Frightens me even now. - Horton went back to his room - And the house resumed its stillness. - I sat on the floor by his bed - Lulled by his heavy breathing.... - Out of the darkness there gleamed - A flash from the crack of a pistol. - Alice was fully dressed and quietly turned on her heel; - Left the house by the basement; walked to the corner - And river; threw something deep in its water; then back - To the house where she'd killed him-- - Leaving the front door open.... I followed her up to her room - Where she undressed and went back to bed.... - Dead in his they found Horton, - And on his tomb they inscribed: - - "A LOVING FATHER AND DEVOTED HUSBAND." - -[Illustration] - - - - -TWELFTH CATERWAUL - - - I've been sitting in the gutter and wondering-- - Strange dreams come to me in strange places-- - The glare of approaching motor - Bewildered my thoughts still more. - I saw stranger things in the shadows - Than the glow of the lights revealed. - And the deepest shadows - Close behind the gleaming arcs of the motor - Showed heads that were snuggled close. - Edith Horton was one - And Brough--who is married--the other. - No matter how dark the night its shame is refulgent - To Heaven. - The chain of my reverie was broken - As the lash will draw blood from the purest.... - And yet I am only a cat that was nearly - Run over! - -[Illustration] - - - - -THIRTEENTH CATERWAUL - - - Jack Horton has taken me back-- - His father's boots are now mouldy. - Edith does charity work and teaches in - Sunday-school. Brough is the superintendent.... - The mortgage on Mallory's house - Was foreclosed on Saturday morning. - Mallory, wife and six children - Were sitting out on the street, - Their shabby trappings about them.... - A syndicate bought the house - From Brough--his profit was ten thousand dollars. - Brough is rolling in wealth. - But Mallory now and Brough - Will seem to me much more alike: - Neither will pay his bills. - ... But Jack is kind to me - And Brough's not the milk - That I drink! - -[Illustration] - - - - -FOURTEENTH CATERWAUL - - - When Mallory worked in the shops - He drank up the wages he earned. - Now that he's out of a job - He's docile and kind to his wife - And dawdles the baby all day. - Old Horton used to say that Mallory - Was a good mechanic and a bad father. - Thus do critics fall out--Now that Old Horton - Is dead - He could not reverse his opinion - Nor the marble slab on his grave. - Joe Mallory was always Jack's chum; so Jack got after - His friends.... Now he's delighted and proud - For he found Mallory a job - Which Mallory thoroughly liked and took - For the price of giving up drink. - -[Illustration] - - - - -FIFTEENTH CATERWAUL - - - Edith was reading the paper - Breakfasting on the couch - At the foot of which I sat. - Her face was as pale as a ghost.... She read - Something twice out loud: - "James Brough in the Bankruptcy Court. - Squandered his fortune on women; - Many society girls in his net." - She fainted just as her mother came in; so I - Quietly left the room.... - And yet there is now a law - That the lamps of motors be dimmed! - -[Illustration] - - - - -SIXTEENTH CATERWAUL - - - Jack and his older brother went to the wharf - As Ralph Dimon is going abroad. - He's going to stay for some time.... - Irene's been released - From a very long engagement. - Not only for mourning it seems - That weddings are postponed. - Irene looks dejected and weary-- - She came to see Edith this morning. - The two are off for the mountains together.... - They say Ralph was richer than Brough. - -[Illustration] - - - - -SEVENTEENTH CATERWAUL - - - They are sending Jack to boarding-school-- - He debated long should he take me? - If only I were a dog!--but grown boys - Don't make pets of cats.... - He doesn't know why he's going away-- - But I do: Alice, the maid, is in trouble - And Mrs. Horton is shocked--and doesn't - Want Jack to know. - -[Illustration] - - - - -EIGHTEENTH CATERWAUL - - - Ever since Jack went away - Mrs. Horton has looked after me. - The day he left - She came to the window - And threw out Old Horton's boots. - At first I thought they were thrown - At me--but it seems that she threw them - Wide of the window! - When I voiced my surprise - She hurried to me and now - I sleep on her divan! - -[Illustration] - - - - -NINETEENTH CATERWAUL - - - Clarence Horton, Jerolamon Jones and a few - Of the other young bloods had a party last night-- - Hunt breakfast they called it, I think. - They started by talking of dogs--hounds and - Horse-flesh and mounts. I gathered that sort of sport - Leaves all the toil to the dogs - And the glory and brush to the hunter. - For this kind of thing - They were well fit-- - And none of them went home too sober! - -[Illustration] - - - - -TWENTIETH CATERWAUL - - - Mrs. Horton sent Alice away--she left last night - After dark. - It was better the neighbors - Shouldn't see! - There was no reason therefore - To send poor Jack away!-- - Perhaps it was just as well? - Mrs. Horton wouldn't have Alice around - Lest it embarrass Edith and--her.... - I followed Alice some way and she seemed - Quite cheerful enough. - Waiting is much the same - No matter what one expects. - -[Illustration] - - - - -TWENTY-FIRST CATERWAUL - - - Brough is through with the Courts - And continues to ride in his car. - He called for Edith last night - When Mrs. Horton was out--she had gone - To the hospital where Alice was - Supposed to have gone.... - Brough's chauffeur - Isn't paid but it's the only way to get what - One wants--to keep right on - Especially when fishing for eels! - Brough is a financier--the rest of us - Only fish! - -[Illustration] - - - - -TWENTY-SECOND CATERWAUL - - - In my morning stroll I found - The Jerolamon Jones' door stood open; - I looked about and went in - But received a scanty welcome-- - Indeed I was promptly chased out - By the maid. - This afternoon Mrs. Jones called - To beg Mrs. Horton - To loan her the valuable cat - As the maid had discovered - A mouse. - Thus do values increase - And appreciation follow apace! - -[Illustration] - - - - -TWENTY-THIRD CATERWAUL - - - The maid that had chased me out - Fondled me as she carried me over - Till my fur bristled.... - The mice have - Disappeared--I finished as luncheon was served, - And sat by the serving-table. - But the Joneses all ate so much - That I wasn't even noticed--and when I was, - They sent me back to the Horton's - At once.... - Mrs. Horton fed me herself! - -[Illustration] - - - - -TWENTY-FOURTH CATERWAUL - - - I saw the maid, Alice, last night; - She was wandering near the bright lights - And the carnivorous shadows--Shadows - That burned to my soul as I saw her - Speak to a man. They went down the street - Together, the veil of darkness hid them, - And when I got home Mrs. Horton - Was telling a friend that "Alice - Was lost beyond any redemption; at any rate - She herself could no longer help!"-- - What problems beset our family! - -[Illustration] - - - - -TWENTY-FIFTH CATERWAUL - - - Jack was home for Christmas - But I saw him hardly at all-- - To the front door he now has a key - And the hours he keeps are quite varied. - One morning he slept very late - And the name that he spoke in his dreams - Was "Alice." - Mrs. Horton was proud of her son and the party - She gave him was sumptuous. - -[Illustration] - - - - -TWENTY-SIXTH CATERWAUL - - - We have a new cook at the Horton's - Who saves the bean water for soup.... - I've enjoyed such broth at the Mallory's, - But at the Horton's!!!-- - And their bills are always as large - As before Bridget was installed. - But Edith and Mrs. Horton are pleased - And the baby and I can't complain!! - -[Illustration] - - - - -TWENTY-SEVENTH CATERWAUL - - - There's a new baby at the Mallory's - And the rest of the children are pleased; - Mallory and his wife are as happy as larks.... - Edith Horton has a toy Angora - And Mrs. Horton has forgotten me-- - Indeed she has put me out.... - Again I must wander the streets! - -[Illustration] - - - - -TWENTY-EIGHTH CATERWAUL - - - I followed Alice last night - Down to her alley and room-- - She stooped as she entered her door - And petted me much as she used to.... - Then she cuddled her baby and seemed - Far fonder of it than Mrs. Horton of hers - And nearly as much - As Edith of her angora.... - -[Illustration] - - - - -TWENTY-NINTH CATERWAUL - - - I sat on the curb at the corner - Just outside the saloon - Where politics rule and - Presidents are made and unmade. - Two men were discussing the War.... - And when they were through, the conclusion - Was discussion untempered by argument.... - Unconvinced I went on my way. - -[Illustration] - - - - -THIRTIETH CATERWAUL - - - All afternoon I sat in the shade - Of a hideous skyscraper - On the Avenue. - Women of all sorts went by - And their footgear and stockings - Were varied. - Skirts that our grandmothers used - To clothe five- and ten-year-old girlies - Revealed twelve inches of hose-- - Nor the three-shade boots that shod them - Would help a Chinaman guess - The age of the wearers who proudly - Boasted this awful foundation.... - And yet are most of the women - Sweet-souled and modest.... - I polished my claws once again! - -[Illustration] - - - - -THIRTY-FIRST CATERWAUL - - - I looked in at the restaurant window - Through which gleamed a medley of color-- - Diamonds, pearl pendants and rubies, - And ruby and gold was the wine - Blazing first in glasses rich-stemmed, - Then blazoned bright in the glances - Of women; - Some with their husbands and fathers, - Others leering and brazen-- - But my milk tasted sweeter - Next morning, for to the poor - All things are pure! - -[Illustration] - - - - -THIRTY-SECOND CATERWAUL - - - I hadn't eaten for hours - And all the house doors were shut-- - The heat of the sun was oppressive - So I languished in the shade, - Though my appetite was appalling.... - Beside there were plenty of sparrows - Ready to eat when I chose to.... - But when the sun was gone, - So were the sparrows! - -[Illustration] - - - - -THIRTY-THIRD CATERWAUL - - - The Mallorys have taken me in.... - Mallory says: one more to feed.... - But the children like it to play - And it looks like Horton's old cat - So it's certain to be a good one.... - Even if discarded. - -[Illustration] - - - - -THIRTY-FOURTH CATERWAUL - - - Mrs. Mallory read from the paper - Where wise ones answer fool's queries - And this was one of the questions: - Is it possible a woman - Who has bitten her nails all her life - Since first she had teeth - Could so cause her baby - The affliction of two thumbs on one hand?... - Did they ever think that of cats? - -[Illustration] - - - - -THIRTY-FIFTH CATERWAUL - - - If we really had nine lives, - None akin to the others - And all the hopes of each life - Were answered in the next, - Perhaps a cat's existence would - Still be unsatisfactory? - -[Illustration] - - - - -THIRTY-SIXTH CATERWAUL - - - Joe Mallory told Jack about Alice-- - At least of her fate. - Jack found her address - And wanted to help.... - And yet there are some - Who believe heredity infallible! - -[Illustration] - - - - -THIRTY-SEVENTH CATERWAUL - - - While Jack tried to smother - Alice's wild burning fires - Joe never obtruded-- - But when Jack was not watching - Joe brought more wood - To the kindling.... - Still they were friends. - -[Illustration] - - - - -THIRTY-EIGHTH CATERWAUL - - - You should have read Brough's - Obituary.... He died - When he'd rescued a fortune - By making hardware and debts: - ... MOST RESPECTED MERCHANT ... - PHILANTHROPIST.... Loss to - The Community ... and over a - Dozen "Resolved's." - The Merchants' Club framed his picture. - And to think - Generations of men proudly - Will claim his descent! - -[Illustration] - - - - -THIRTY-NINTH CATERWAUL - - - Edith Horton is married-- - (Joe Mallory went to the wedding)-- - Many a thorn-edge is dulled - By brushing it by in a hurry.... - And roses often change hue - Between the bright sun and the limelight. - -[Illustration] - - - - -FORTIETH CATERWAUL - - - I watched a man cranking his motor. - It stalled.... - He tinkered with levers - Till he gave it up in despair - And stood disconsolate staring. - When he cranked it again - It started so quickly - That it raised the hair of my coat. - -[Illustration] - - - - -FORTY-FIRST CATERWAUL - - - Jones' collie and Mallory's hound - Were discussing a new-found bone - With vicious snarling and snapping - And other unseemly behaviour.... - On the fence above them I sat - Distressed.... - Neither dared touch the prize.... - Nor would either allow the other. - Then Jerry and Joe both whistled.... - The bone lies forgotten and wasted. - -[Illustration] - - - - -FORTY-SECOND CATERWAUL - - - It grew very warm in the house, - The Mallorys mopping and sweating-- - Perspiration is fuel for temper-- - Even I couldn't stand the heat - Nor tell them no windows were open.... - But cats are always too obvious; - So I went out for a walk. - -[Illustration] - - - - -FORTY-THIRD CATERWAUL - - - Alice is dead of consumption.... - All Jack's efforts were useless; - Disconsolate he tried to comfort - The last of her wasted moments.... - "God will forgive you," he whispered.... - Yet who is the judge of the Damned?-- - And Joe is much disappointed - Though he feels he may have hurried - Alice's end.... I wonder - What I repent?--or is it only - Regret? - -[Illustration] - - - - -FORTY-FOURTH CATERWAUL - - - All my life I have studied - The passerby-faces - And known them.... - Sometimes they noticed me; - Others more often seemed - Unconscious I saw them. - I wondered what they were thinking.... - Or had they no thoughts - But like wax that responds - To momentary impressions? - I'm sure I read all the faces.... - Did I know them-- - Except when they kicked me - Or petted? - -[Illustration] - - - - -FORTY-FIFTH CATERWAUL - - - At last I have to confess - That all my judgment is blinded! - Jack and Joe are now partners, - Croesus and Job united - In one homogeneous effort.... - And yet my kind make nights hideous - By howling continuous calamity! - -[Illustration] - - - - -FORTY-SIXTH CATERWAUL - - - Now that the Mallorys have money - They haven't changed the brand - Of my milk nor their butcher. - They wear more clothes - And better; but they still - Continue to pet me. - -[Illustration] - - - - -FORTY-SEVENTH CATERWAUL - - - Joe sent Pat Mallory through college; - Up there Pat says that his father - Is Superintendent of power-- - Old Mallory's just a plain foreman-- - But Pat still with reason - Differs - From the verdict given by Horton, - For Pat still worships his father, - And still calls me - Poor old Cat.... - -[Illustration] - - - - -FORTY-EIGHTH CATERWAUL - - - I heard Pat talking of college-- - Some of Pat's friends have been visiting-- - I wondered what they were learning! - Pat is surely improving. - Still Joe would always have prospered - In or out of a college-- - And yet I shall always be - Just a cat. - -[Illustration] - - - - -FORTY-NINTH CATERWAUL - - - I've watched in the rain and snow - Sunshine and cloudy weather - For any change in my spirit; - But whether I've eaten a fish - Or had just a drink of milk,-- - Only that I found made - A difference. - -[Illustration] - - - - -FIFTIETH CATERWAUL - - - Go on with your work-- - Patient Stranger! - I've told you enough of my - Wanderings. - The Mallorys are troubled with mice - And never close house for the summer! - -[Illustration] - - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Feline Philosophy, by Walter Léon Hess - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FELINE PHILOSOPHY *** - -***** This file should be named 42897-8.txt or 42897-8.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/2/8/9/42897/ - -Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at -http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images -generously made available by The Internet Archive.) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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