diff options
Diffstat (limited to '44790-h')
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/44790-h.htm | 1471 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/229-1200.png | bin | 0 -> 87388 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/229-500.png | bin | 0 -> 25418 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/230a-1500.png | bin | 0 -> 245716 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/230a-600.png | bin | 0 -> 56024 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/230b-100.png | bin | 0 -> 3235 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/230b-250.png | bin | 0 -> 12456 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/231-1500.png | bin | 0 -> 293070 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/231-600.png | bin | 0 -> 63753 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/232-330.png | bin | 0 -> 18173 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/232-900.png | bin | 0 -> 68372 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/234-320.png | bin | 0 -> 29401 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/234-900.png | bin | 0 -> 199529 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/237-330.png | bin | 0 -> 35798 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/237-900.png | bin | 0 -> 177169 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/238-360.png | bin | 0 -> 26755 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/238-900.png | bin | 0 -> 100287 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/239a-1500.png | bin | 0 -> 204427 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/239a-600.png | bin | 0 -> 43970 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/239b-200.png | bin | 0 -> 12022 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/239b-720.png | bin | 0 -> 84423 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/239c-200.png | bin | 0 -> 12217 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/239c-580.png | bin | 0 -> 59116 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/240-450.png | bin | 0 -> 32826 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/240-980.png | bin | 0 -> 100782 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 44790-h/images/cover.jpg | bin | 0 -> 53867 bytes |
26 files changed, 1471 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/44790-h/44790-h.htm b/44790-h/44790-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2e2039b --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/44790-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1471 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" +"http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en" xml:lang="en"> + +<head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8" /> + + <title>Punch, or the London Charivari, May 18th, 1895.</title> + +<link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" /> + + <style type="text/css"> + + body {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + #coverpage {border: 1px solid black;} + .tn {width: 35em; margin: 0 auto; background-color: #ffffee; color: #000000; margin-top: 3em;} + p {text-align: justify;} + .ind {margin-left: 2em; margin-right: 2em;} + .ind1 {margin-left: 3em; margin-right: 3em;} + .ind2 {margin-left: 5em; margin-right: 5em;} + .rindent {text-align: right; margin-left: 30%; margin-top: -0.5em;} + .rindent1 {text-align: right; margin-right: 5em; margin-top: 0;} + h1 {line-height: 150%;} + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 {text-align: center;} + p.title1 {text-align: center; text-indent: 0; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.6; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0;} + .bigger {font-size: 260%; text-align: center; font-weight: bold;} + small {font-size: 70%;} + .small {font-size: 70%;} + .smaller {font-size: 50%;} + big {font-size: 140%;} + .sans {font-family: sans-serif;} + pre {font-size: 0.7em;} + .sc {font-variant: small-caps;} + .center {text-align: center;} + .center2 {text-align: center; font-size: 1.3em;} + ins {text-decoration: none; border-bottom: dashed 1px silver;} + hr {width: 100%;} + html>body hr {margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 0%; width: 100%;} + hr.medium {width: 76%;} + html>body hr.medium {margin-right: 12%; margin-left: 12%; width: 76%;} + + span.pagenum {position: absolute; left: 1%; right: 91%; font-size: 8pt; text-indent: 0;} + + .width18 {max-width: 18em;} + .width21 {max-width: 21em;} + .width24 {max-width: 24em;} + .width36 {max-width: 36em;} + + .poem {margin: auto;} + .poem .stanza {margin: 1em auto;} + .poem p {margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + .poem p.i2 {margin-left: 1em;} + .poem p.i48 {margin-left: 24em;} + + @media handheld { + .poem {display: block; margin-left: 1.5em;} + } + + .figcenter, .figright, .figleft {padding: 1em; margin: 0; text-align: center; font-size: 0.8em;} + .figcenter img, .figright img, .figleft img + {border: none;} + .figcenter p, .figright p, .figleft p + {margin: 1em 0 0 0; text-indent: 1em;} + .figcenter {margin: auto;} + .figright {float: right;} + .figleft {float: left;} + + a.ask:link {color: blue;background: inherit; font-size: 1.0em; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none;} + a.ask:visited {color: blue;background: inherit; font-size: 1.0em; font-weight: normal;text-decoration: none;} + + @media handheld { +.figleft { +float : none; +text-align : center; +margin-right : 0; +} +} +@media handheld { +.figright { +float : none; +text-align : center; +margin-left : 0; +} +} +@media handheld { +body { +margin-left : 2%; +margin-right : 2%; +margin-top : 1%; +margin-bottom : 1%; +} +hr { +margin-top : 0.1em; +margin-bottom : 0.1em; +visibility : hidden; +color : white; +display : none; +} +} +@media print { +span.pagenum { +visibility : hidden; +color : white; +display : none; +} +} + + </style> +</head> +<body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 44790 ***</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page229" id="page229"></a>[pg 229]</span></p> + +<hr /> + +<h1>PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.<br /> + +<small>Volume 108, <span class="sc">May 18th, 1895.</span></small><br /> + +<span class="smaller"><i>edited by Sir Francis Burnand</i></span></h1> + +<hr /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 580px;"><a href="images/229-1200.png"><img src="images/229-500.png" width="500" height="427" alt="HOP PROSPECTS." /></a> +<h3 class="sans">HOP PROSPECTS.</h3> + +<p><span class="sc">Said Pulex the Skipper to Miss Cicada, "Do you expect a good Hopping +Season this year?"</span></p></div> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<h3>ODE TO A (LONDON) "LARK."</h3> + +<p class="center">(<i>Some Way after Quisquis.</i>)</p> + +<div class="poem width21"> <div class="stanza"> +<p>Oh, "lark," which all the "Comiques" sing,</p> +<p class="i2">And every drunken rowdy pup, too;</p> +<p>Sure you're a vicious, vulgar thing</p> +<p class="i2">As ever toper swigged a cup to.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>Hints of the boozy and the blue</p> +<p class="i2">Surround you; sodden brains you soften;</p> +<p>Yet rhymsters make a song of you,</p> +<p class="i2">And rowdies sing it—far too often.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>The aim of every loose-lipped lout</p> +<p class="i2">Appears to be to "lark" divinely;</p> +<p>When from his haunts he gets chucked out,</p> +<p class="i2">He deems his "spree" has ended finely.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>He tracks the "lark"—aye, "like a bird,"</p> +<p class="i2">Upon the turf, among its "daisies";</p> +<p>But, by sweet <span class="sc">Shelley</span>, 'tis absurd,</p> +<p class="i2">Foul bird of prey, to pipe your <i>praises!</i></p> + </div> </div> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind1"><span class="sc">A Kind Offer.</span>—A lady who is not well +up in Parliamentary matters writes to us +saying that she has seen mentioned in the +papers "Mr. Speaker's Retirement Bill," +and would very much like to know what the +amount is. Her admiration for the late +<span class="sc">Speaker</span> is so great that, our fair correspondent +goes on to say, she would willingly +defray the whole amount herself, or if the +total be too much for her pocket, then would +she cheerfully head a subscription list. +She is perfectly certain that Mr. <span class="sc">Peel</span> was +a very moderate man, and therefore the entire +sum cannot be very startling.</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<h2>RATHER "BOLD ADVERTISEMENT."</h2> + +<p class="center">["Advertisements for some time past have been inserted in Government +publications."—<i>Daily Paper.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="sc">Scene</span>—<i>Room of a</i> Secretary of State. <i>Present</i> Right Hon. +Gentleman <i>attended by his</i> Private Secretary.</p> + +<p><i>Right Hon. Gentleman.</i> Well, <span class="sc">Tenterfore</span>, anything for me this +morning?</p> + +<p><i>Private Secretary.</i> I think not. You will find that I have worked +out the answers to to-day's questions—the list is not a very heavy +one, only a couple of dozen queries or thereabouts.</p> + +<p><i>Rt. Hon. Gent.</i> That's right. Such a lot of time is wasted in that +sort of thing. And has anyone come for me?</p> + +<p><i>Priv. Sec.</i> No one of importance. A fellow with a new invention +or something of that sort. Said you were extremely busy just now, +but that if he would write, his letter would receive the attention of +the department.</p> + +<p><i>Rt. Hon. Gent.</i> Was he satisfied?</p> + +<p><i>Priv. Sec.</i> (<i>smiling</i>). Well, I fear not entirely. I think he must +have had some experience of Government offices. He said he preferred +to see you personally.</p> + +<p><i>Rt. Hon. Gent.</i> (<i>amused</i>). I daresay he would. Anyone else?</p> + +<p><i>Priv. Sec.</i> Only a man about advertisements.</p> + +<p><i>Rt. Hon. Gent.</i> (<i>aghast</i>). You did not send <i>him</i> away?</p> + +<p><i>Priv. Sec.</i> Well, no. I believe he is still in the waiting-room. +But surely you don't want to see him?</p> + +<p><i>Rt. Hon. Gent.</i> Of course I do. A most important person. Send +a messenger for him at once. (<i>Exit</i> Private Secretary.) That's the +worst of <span class="sc">Tenterfore</span>—so impulsive! Means well, but so very impulsive! +(<i>Knock.</i>) Ah, here comes my visitor. (<i>Enter stranger.</i>) +My very dear Sir, I am delighted to see you. (<i>He shakes hands +warmly and provides him with an arm-chair.</i>) I am sorry you +should have been detained—quite a mistake.</p> + +<p><i>Stranger</i> (<i>surprised</i>). You are most kind. I come about some +advertisements.</p> + +<p><i>Rt. Hon. Gent.</i> I know, my dear Sir, I know. Now what can +I tempt you with? You arrive at a most fortunate moment. We +are thinking of letting the sides of our cruisers for posters. The +Mediterranean fleet will be a most excellent medium. We can do +sixteen double crowns at a very reasonable rate; of course the +Admiral's flag-ship would be a trifle extra. Is your leading article +soap, pickles, or hair-dye?</p> + +<p><i>Stranger.</i> I am afraid you do not understand me.</p> + +<p><i>Rt. Hon. Gent.</i> Oh yes, I do; but, if you object to marine advertisements, +I think we can suit you on land. We have several commanding +positions on the colours of some of the most popular regiments +in the service vacant. (<i>Showing plans.</i>) You see we can +insert type—we object to blocks—on the material without interfering +with the badges or the victories. A most admirable medium, +I assure you.</p> + +<p><i>Stranger.</i> You really are in error. I wish to say——</p> + +<p><i>Rt. Hon. Gent.</i> (<i>interrupting</i>). Yes, I know. You think that +something would be better. Well, we can put advertisements on +the backs of all petitions presented to Parliament, and let you out +hoardings in front of the more prominent of the Government offices. +How would that suit you?</p> + +<p><i>Stranger.</i> Really, you must allow me to explain. Advertisements +of matters interesting to mariners—such as notices of wrecks—are +inserted solely in the <i>London Gazette</i> and——</p> + +<p><i>Rt. Hon. Gent.</i> Ah, you are thinking of the sky signs. Well, of +course, we might utilise the lighthouses, but we have not quite made +up our minds whether such a course might not cause confusion in +misty weather.</p> + +<p><i>Stranger.</i> I was going to propose that the Government might feel +inclined to insert the advertisements to which I have referred in a +paper with which I am connected, and which is extensively circulated +amongst seafaring men.</p> + +<p><i>Rt. Hon. Gent.</i> (<i>astounded</i>). You want <i>me</i> to give <i>you</i> +an advertisement! +No, Sir; now that we have taken up advertisements we +insert them and don't give them out. (<i>Enter</i> Private Secretary.) +Mr. <span class="sc">Tenterfore</span>, be so good as to explain to this gentleman that my +time is valuable.</p> + +<blockquote><p> +[<i>Scene closes in upon the</i> Secretary of State <i>performing the +now rather miscellaneous duties appertaining to his office.</i> +</p></blockquote> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind2"><span class="sc">Brief Stay in London of the Eminent French Novelist.</span>—He +has not quite mastered our idioms, but he has made a pun in +English, when saying, "<i>J'y suis, moi, Daudet; je pars demain</i>," +<i>i.e.</i>, "I am here <i>Do-day</i>, and gone to-morrow."</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind"><span class="sc">Suggestion.</span>—"<i>The Attaree Khat Tea Co.</i>" is a nice name. +Why not follow with the "<i>Attaree Khat and Kitten Milk Co.</i>"? +Very attaree-active to some pussons.</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="center"><span class="sc">Motto (Addressed to Flutes, Hautboys, &c.) for Conductor +of the Strauss Orchestra.</span>—"<span class="sc">Strauss</span> shows how the wind is to +blow."</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="center">"<span class="sc">Infant Phenomenon!</span>"—At Drury Lane, the arduous part of <i>Don +Cæsar</i> in the opera of <i>Maritana</i> was last Friday played by a +<span class="sc">Child</span>!</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="center"><span class="sc">Word of Command for Hospital Sunday.</span>—"Present Alms!"</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page230" id="page230"></a>[pg 230]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a href="images/230a-1500.png"><img src="images/230a-600.png" width="600" height="384" alt="SOCIAL AGONIES." /></a> +<h2 class="sans">SOCIAL AGONIES.</h2> + +<p><i>Algy.</i> "<span class="sc">Come and Dine with me with me to-night, Snobbington?</span>"</p> + +<p><i>Snobbington.</i> "<span class="sc">Sorry to say I can't, Old Chappie. Afraid I've go to go +and Dine with that old fool, Lord Boreham, +for my sins!</span>"</p> + +<p><i>Lord Boreham</i> (<i>from behind his Newspaper</i>). "<span class="sc">Pray consider +yourself excused this evening, Mr.——Mr.——a—I find I +don't even know you by sight!</span>"</p> + +<p class="rindent">[<i>Which is quite true!</i></p></div> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<h2>'ARRY AND THE NEW WOMAN.</h2> + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 100px;"><a href="images/230b-250.png"><img src="images/230b-100.png" width="100" height="185" alt="'arry" /></a></div> + +<div class="poem width36"> <div class="stanza"> +<p>Dear <span class="sc">Charlie</span>,—'Ow are you, old shipmate? <i>I</i>'ve bin layin' low for a time.</p> +<p>'Ard years these 'ere Nineties, my nibs, yus, and bizness 'as bin fur from prime.</p> +<p>All grind and no gay galoot, <span class="sc">Charlie</span>, of late 'as bin <i>my</i> little lot;</p> +<p>An' between you and me <i>and</i> the post, I think most things is going to pot!</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>It's Newness wot's doing it, <span class="sc">Charlie</span>! "Lor! <i>that</i>'s a rum gospel," sez you.</p> +<p>Well, p'raps in your green tooral-looral you don't hear so much of the New;</p> +<p>But in town with New Art, and New Women, New Drammer, New Humour, and such,</p> +<p>There seems nothink <i>old</i> left in creation, save four-arf, and <span class="sc">Dannel's</span> old Dutch.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p><i>She</i>'s old, and no hapricots, <span class="sc">Charlie</span>. But <span class="sc">Dannel's</span> a decentish sort,</p> +<p>And the way as <i>she</i> lays down the law about up-to-date woman <i>is</i> sport.</p> +<p>'Er nutcrackers clitter and clatter; and when she is fair on the shout,</p> +<p>Concernin' fresh feminine fashions, you bet it's a reglar knock-out!</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>I took <span class="sc">Lil</span>, <span class="sc">Dannel's</span> youngest, larst week to the play, with some tickets I'd got.</p> +<p>Well, paperers mustn't be choosers. But oh, mate, of all the dashed rot</p> +<p>They ever chucked over the footlights, this 'ere Probblem Play wos the wust!</p> +<p>It left me with brain discumfuddled, the blues, and a thundering thust.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>It gave poor <span class="sc">Lil 'Arris</span> the 'orrors. "Lor, <span class="sc">'Arry</span>," she sez, coming out,</p> +<p>"They've styged it, no doubt, tol-lol-poppish, but wot <i>is</i> the 'ole thing about?</p> +<p>I feel just as creepy and 'oller, along o' these 'ere warmed-up ghosts,</p> +<p>As if I'd bin dining on spiders. Eugh! Let's 'ave a glarss at 'The Posts.'"</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>It took two 'ot tiddleys to warm 'er. An' when I was blowin' a cloud</p> +<p>A-top o' the tram going 'ome, she sez, "<span class="sc">'Arry</span>," sez she, "<i>I</i> ain't proud,</p> +<p>But don't tyke me never no more to no New Woman nonsense," sez she.</p> +<p>"It's narsty; and not one good snivel <i>or</i> larf in the whole jamboree.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>"I don't call them <i>people</i>, I don't." "No; they're probblems, <i>Lil</i>, that's wot <i>they</i> are.</p> +<p>She-probblem a tearin' 'er 'air, whilst the he-probblem sucks 'is cigar;</p> +<p>Two gurl-probblems sniffing at Marriage, that played-out old farce—at sixteen!—</p> +<p>I thought we was fair up-to-date, <i>Lil</i>, but, bless yer, we're simply pea-green!"</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>And when we arrived at Lamb's Conduit Street, old <span class="sc">Dannel 'Arris's</span> shop,</p> +<p>His old Dutch got fair on the grind, and when started she's orkud to stop.</p> +<p>"New Woman?" sez she. "<i>She</i>'s no clarss, <span class="sc">Lil</span>, and don't know a mite where she are.</p> +<p>Yah! <i>We</i> used to call 'em Old Cats; and a sootabler name, too, by far.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>"There ain't nothink new in <i>their</i> Newness; it's only old garbige warmed up.</p> +<p>Mere bubble-and-squeak. The stale taters and greens on which poor people sup</p> +<p>Is 'olesome compared with sich offal. Yah! Weddings'll outlast <i>that</i> lot;</p> +<p>And while gals is gals the old Eve'll jest make the new evil seem rot."</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>The jawsome old guffin wos right, <i>Charlie</i>; leastways, she wosn't fur out.</p> +<p>Yer female footballers and bikers, as swagger and go on the shout,</p> +<p>And spile a good sport <i>and</i> their hancles, are not more complete off the track</p> +<p>Than them as "revolt"—agin Nature, and cock their she-bokos—at fack!</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>All splutter-sludge, <span class="sc">Charlie</span>! On styge or on cinder-path, sillypop things</p> +<p>As want to play Man and <i>be</i> Woman are trying to fly without wings,</p> +<p>Or fight without fistes. Are Men, the world's masters—like you, mate, and Me—</p> +<p>To be knocked out by probblems in petticoats? Wot bloomin' fiddle-de-dee!</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>The Old Dutch, and young <span class="sc">Lil</span>, and myself are all much of a mind on this job.</p> +<p>Old <span class="sc">'Arris</span> sez men are not in it. <i>He</i> don't mean it, I'll bet a bob.</p> +<p>It ain't very likely, not now, that Yours Scrumptiously ever <i>will</i> marry;</p> +<p>But <i>if</i> I should tyke a Old Woman, it won't be no New Woman!</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i48"><span class="sc">'Arry.</span></p> + </div> </div> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page231" id="page231"></a>[pg 231]</span></p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a href="images/231-1500.png"><img src="images/231-600.png" width="600" height="412" alt="Edith. 'I don't believe Jack will ever learn to dance'" /></a> +<p><i>Edith.</i> "<span class="sc">I don't believe Jack will ever learn to +Dance!</span>"</p> + +<p><i>Alice</i> (<i>whose dress has suffered</i>). "<span class="sc">Worse than that—he will +never learn not to attempt it!</span>"</p></div> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<h2>FAIR CHILDREN IN GRAFTON STREET.</h2> + +<p>A splendid show, though some of the children are neither fair nor +beautiful. Note No. 114, "<i>The Chinese Boy</i>," by Sir <span class="sc">Joshua</span>. He is +a +boy, certainly, but his complexion has a mahogany tinge not usually +associated with loveliness. <span class="sc">Catherine de Medicis</span>, if we may judge +by No. 67, was a plain, decent, housewifely body, with a family of +four horrors, three male and one female, all of whom, eventually, +wore a crown. Can it be possible that <i>La Reine Margot</i> ever looked +like <i>that?</i> If so, the great <span class="sc">Dumas</span> is convicted of gross deceit. +For +a screaming farce in oil, let the visitor look at No. 155, "<i>The Infant +Johnson</i>," by Sir <span class="sc">Joshua</span>. Some one has evidently suggested to the +baby lexicographer that he should have a bath. Naturally enough +he is furious at the idea. "Sir," he seems to say, "let us take a +perambulator down Fleet Street, or anywhere else, but let us not +bathe." Can there not be found a companion picture of the mighty +infant in a cheerful mood, prattling out a "What, nurse, are you +for a frolic? Then I'm with you." In a case labelled No. 454 are +to be seen toys, dolls, and playthings found in Children's Tombs in +Egypt. Here, too, is the "<i>Mummy of a Baby</i>." "I see the +baby," observed an intelligent child-visitor; "but where is its +Mummy? <i>My</i> Mummy never ties baby up like that."</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind"><span class="sc">Not Due North.</span>—The <i>North British Daily Mail</i>, referring to +the rumour that the Prince of <span class="sc">Wales</span> may go to New York in the +autumn to see the contest for the America Cup, says: "There will be +better racing on the Clyde than there was last year. Let the <span class="sc">Prince</span> +come north at midsummer this year." Very likely the race on the +Clyde will be a good one. But our Scottish contemporary forgets +that a visit to the United States on the part of H.R.H. would be to +the advantage of two races—the American and the British. It would +be sure to cause good feeling on either side of the Atlantic. Why +should not Caledonia wait?</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind2"><span class="sc">By Our Own Cricket on the Hearth.</span>—For any ordinary +English team to attempt tackling the Australian Eleven coming +over here next season, would show not so much the merit of the +team, but its team-erity.</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<h2>THE PRIVILEGE OF THE PRESS.</h2> + +<p class="center"><span class="sc">Scene</span>—<i>Anywhere</i>. <i>Present</i>, <span class="sc">Brown</span> <i>and</i> <span class="sc">Jones</span>.</p> + +<p><i>Brown</i> (<i>perusing paper</i>). Capital speech of <span class="sc">Arthur J. +Balfour</span> +at the Newspaper Society's Dinner the other evening. His compliments +to the Press were in every way deserved.</p> + +<p><i>Jones</i> (<i>also reading a journal</i>). Quite so. I am glad to see that +the admirable publication I am now devouring objects to gambling +in all its branches.</p> + +<p><i>Brown.</i> So does this. There is an excellent leader on the fourth +page exposing the scandals of the Stock Exchange.</p> + +<p><i>Jones.</i> And here I find on page two a most earnest attack upon the +abuses of the turf.</p> + +<p><i>Brown.</i> Such intelligent comments should do a world of good.</p> + +<p><i>Jones.</i> I am sure of it. I know, speaking for myself, I feel much +better after perusing a column that might have supplied the pabulum +of a sermon.</p> + +<p><i>Brown.</i> Just my case. It really strengthens one's moral perceptions +to come across such noble sentiments. Well, as we have both +read the leaders, let us exchange papers.</p> + +<p><i>Jones.</i> With pleasure, only I want just to glance at the latest odds. +This journal gives the latest information on all matters connected +with racing and the turf generally.</p> + +<p><i>Brown.</i> Just so, that is why I wanted to read it. Well, I must +fill up the time by looking at the money article. Commend me to +the city editor of this favourite production when you want to have a +gentle flutter!</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind1">"<span class="sc">Key-notes.</span>"—In anticipation of H.R.H. the Prince of <span class="sc">Wales</span> +visiting the Isle of Man later in the year, though at present</p> + +<div class="poem width21"> <div class="stanza"> +<p>The Prince of <span class="sc">Wales</span> declines, with thanks,</p> +<p>The invitation sent from Manx,</p> + </div> </div> + +<p class="ind1">the House of Keys has put every quay on the bunch at His Royal +Highness's disposal for landing.</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="center"><span class="sc">Flower Shows and City Business.</span>—"<i>Preference Stocks.</i> +Chatham Seconds <i>Rose</i>." What a sweet combination of colour and +scent per scent!</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page232" id="page232"></a>[pg 232]</span></p> + +<h3>EXPECTEDNESS.</h3> + +<p class="ind">"Inevitable" is the new cant +phrase, and certain phrases <i>are</i> +inevitable, it would seem.</p> + +<p class="ind">It is inevitable, if you should +happen to beg the pardon of one +of the lower middle class, that he +(or more generally <i>she</i>) will reply +with "Granted!"</p> + +<p class="ind">It is inevitable, if you converse +with a young Oxonian of immature +intellect, that he will murder the +<span class="sc">Queen's</span>, or (as he would call it) +Quagger's, English by some such +expression as "What a beastly +sensagger!" or invite you to +"stagger for the dagger" (<i>i.e.</i> +stay for the day). But competent +authorities are inclined to think +that this laborious form of undergraduate +wit, or "wagger," is +doomed to speedy "extigger."</p> + +<p class="ind">It is inevitable that the would-be +smart business person, when +inditing a circular or club notice, +will say, "Forward <i>same</i>," or, "I +inclose <i>same</i>," instead of "<i>it</i>," +whatever it may happen to be.</p> + +<p class="ind">It is inevitable that, when <span class="sc">'Arry</span> +wishes to be familiarly polite at +parting, he will take his leave +with "So long."</p> + +<p class="ind">It is inevitable that, when a +young City man desires to express +his disapproval of any individual +or thing, he will dismiss it as +"no class."</p> + +<p class="ind">It is inevitable, if you make +any surprising or absurd statement +to a Yankee, that his comment +thereon will be, "Is that so!"</p> + +<p class="ind">It is inevitable, if you meet an +actor "resting" in the Strand, +that he will ask you to "Name +it," and you will proceed to do so +(possibly at your own expense) at +one or more of the excellent +drinking-bars in that locality.</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 330px;"><a href="images/232-900.png"><img src="images/232-330.png" width="330" height="472" alt="A YORKSHIRE GOSSIP." /></a> +<h3 class="sans">A YORKSHIRE GOSSIP.</h3> + +<p><i>First Gossip.</i> "<span class="sc">So you was nivver axed tut Funeral?</span>"</p> + +<p><i>Second Gossip.</i> "<span class="sc">Nivver as much as inside t'house. But nobbut +wait till <i>we</i> hev' a Funeral of us own, an' <i>we</i>'ll show +'em!</span>"</p></div> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<h3>A-DRESS BY MR. SPEAKER.</h3> + +<p class="center">["Certain Members object to attending +the <span class="sc">Speaker's</span> dinner or +<i>levées</i> in full dress."]</p> + +<p class="title1"><i>Mr. Speaker.</i></p> + +<div class="poem width18"> <div class="stanza"> +<p>"Oh, ye must walk in silk attire,</p> +<p class="i2">And swords and buckles wear,</p> +<p>Gin ye wad come to dine wi' me,</p> +<p class="i2">Or tend my <i>levées</i> mair."</p> + </div> </div> + +<p class="title1"><i>The Members.</i></p> + +<div class="poem width18"> <div class="stanza"> +<p>"Oh, what's to us your silken show,</p> +<p class="i2">And swords and buckles smart?—</p> +<p>And if you still insist upon 't,</p> +<p class="i2">Then you and we must part!"</p> + </div> </div> + +<p class="title1"><i>Mr. Speaker.</i></p> + +<div class="poem width18"> <div class="stanza"> +<p>"Then ye shall come in what attire</p> +<p class="i2">It suits ye best to wear,</p> +<p>Gin ye 'll consent to mind the Whip,</p> +<p class="i2">Nor plague the Party mair."</p> + </div> </div> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind1"><span class="sc">Worthy Object.</span>—It is encouraging +to hear of a "<i>Mission +to Deep Sea Fishermen</i>." The +deeper the sea-fishermen are, the +more necessary is the mission. +These Deep Sea-Fishermen are +generally supposed to be able to +look after their own soles; but +now they will receive aid in their +work. As the Bishop of <span class="sc">Liverpool</span> +is a prominent patron of this +good work, it may be taken for +granted that most of these deep +'uns are fishermen in his Lordship's +See.</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind2"><span class="sc">An Acquittal.</span>—With what a +sense of relief does a <i>bon vivant</i> +who has been brought up by +Corporal <span class="sc">Ailment</span> before the +Doctor's Court Martial hear the +verdict of "Not Gouty!"</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<h2>LAW IN BLANK.</h2> + +<p class="title1">(<i>A Natural Development of the Modern System of Suppression.</i>)</p> + +<blockquote><p> +<span class="sc">Scene</span>—<i>Interior of one of the Royal Courts. Customary occupants +and surroundings.</i> Witness <i>in the box undergoing cross-examination</i>. +</p></blockquote> + +<p><i>First Counsel.</i> And now will you give me the name of the person +you met on that occasion?</p> + +<p><i>Second Counsel.</i> I do not wish to interfere without reason; but +surely it is unnecessary to introduce third parties into this inquiry.</p> + +<p><i>Witness.</i> Perhaps I might follow the plan I adopted in my +examination-in-chief +and write the name on a piece of paper?</p> + +<p><i>The Judge.</i> That seems a reasonable course to pursue.</p> + +<p><i>First Counsel.</i> As your Lordship pleases. Then be so good as to +give me the name as suggested. (Witness <i>complies</i>.) Thank you. +(<i>After reading the paper.</i>) Do you spell the name with a final "e"?</p> + +<p><i>Second Counsel.</i> Really, my learned friend is carrying matters too +far. If the anonymity of third parties is to be preserved, such a +leading question would reveal the identity at once.</p> + +<p><i>The Judge.</i> I suppose you mean that the query about the final "e" +would indicate that the veiled name was "<span class="sc">Browne</span>."</p> + +<p><i>Second Counsel.</i> Quite so, my lord; that is a conclusion that would +be accepted by persons of the most ordinary intelligence.</p> + +<p><i>First Counsel.</i> But as a matter of fact, the name to which I refer +is certainly neither <span class="sc">Brown</span> nor <span class="sc">Browne</span>. +I will submit the paper to your lordship.</p> + +<p><i>The Judge</i> (<i>after perusing the slip which has been handed to him +by an usher</i>). Dear me! I am greatly surprised!</p> + +<p><i>Foreman of the Jury.</i> May we, my lord, learn the name?</p> + +<p><i>First Counsel.</i> So far as I am concerned, I shall be only too pleased +to allow the Gentlemen of the Jury to have the fullest information on +the point.</p> + +<p><i>Second Counsel.</i> If I object, it is not because I have not the greatest +confidence in the Jury's discretion, but simply as a matter of principle.</p> + +<p><i>First Counsel.</i> I do not see how the affair is a matter of principle, +but if my learned friend objects I have no wish to push the point +further. (<i>Turning to</i> Witness.) And now, where did you meet this +person whose name we have arranged to leave undiscovered?</p> + +<p><i>Witness.</i> Perhaps you will allow me to write the locality on a +piece of paper and pass it round?</p> + +<p><i>The Judge.</i> I think we may do that.</p> + +<p><i>First Counsel.</i> As your Lordship pleases. (<i>Course suggested +pursued.</i>) And now, have you ever seen any one else on the subject?</p> + +<p><i>Witness.</i> Certainly. (<i>Produces a scroll.</i>) Here is a list. I have +purposely written their names in shorthand, so that they may only +be recognised by those who have a knowledge of <span class="sc">Pitman's</span> method.</p> + +<p><i>The Judge.</i> Certainly.</p> + +<p><i>First Counsel.</i> And that, my Lord, is my case.</p> + +<p class="rindent1">[<i>Sits down.</i></p> + +<p><i>The Judge.</i> And now, Gentlemen, before we proceed further, I +would like to make a suggestion. When we commenced this trial we +arranged that the names of the Plaintiff and Defendant should not +be made public. Since then it seems to me that we should learn +them. What do you say, Gentlemen?</p> + +<p><i>Foreman of the Jury.</i> We share your Lordship's curiosity.</p> + +<p><i>The Judge</i> (<i>addressing Counsel</i>). You hear.</p> + +<p><i>First Counsel</i> (<i>after consultation with his opponent</i>). My Lord, +I need scarcely say that both my friend and myself are most +anxious to meet the wishes of your Lordship. But as this is a +point of great importance to our clients, we should like to have an +opportunity of consulting them. No doubt the names asked for +might only have a limited circulation—be known only to your +Lordship and the Gentlemen of the Jury. Still there are objections +to even so partial a publication as I have shadowed forth which make +it most desirable that we should have an opportunity of giving the +matter our fullest consideration. Perhaps we might adjourn until +to-morrow morning?</p> + +<p><i>The Judge.</i> Oh, certainly, certainly.</p> + +<p class="rindent">[<i>Court consequently adjourns to meet the necessities of the situation.</i></p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="center"><span class="sc">Motto for the Vineyard Proprietors in a certain Champagne +District.</span>—"Make Ay while the sun shines."</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page233" id="page233"></a>[pg 233]</span><br /></p> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page234" id="page234"></a>[pg 234]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a href="images/234-900.png"><img src="images/234-320.png" width="320" height="514" alt="THE OLD CRUSADERS!" /></a> +<h2><big>THE OLD CRUSADERS!</big></h2> + +<p class="center2">THE DUKE OF ARG-LL AND MR. GL-DST-NE "BROTHERS IN ARMS" AGAIN!</p> + +<p class="center"><big><b>BULGARIA, 1876.</b> <b>ARMENIA, 1895.</b></big></p></div> + +<hr class="medium" /> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page235" id="page235"></a>[pg 235]</span><br /></p> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page236" id="page236"></a>[pg 236]</span><br /></p> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page237" id="page237"></a>[pg 237]</span></p> + +<h3>NEURALGIA.</h3> + +<div class="poem width21"> <div class="stanza"> +<p>What do I care if sunny Spring</p> +<p class="i2">Come now at last with balmy weather?</p> +<p>What do I care for anything?</p> +<p class="i2">I hate existence altogether.</p> +<p>It makes me almost mad, in truth,</p> +<p>This awful aching in my tooth.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>What do I care for wealth or fame,</p> +<p class="i2">Or woman's charms the most entrancing?</p> +<p>Despised or loved, it's all the same.</p> +<p class="i2">You would not catch me even glancing</p> +<p>At any face you ever saw;</p> +<p>I'm only thinking of my jaw.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>What do I care if Trunks are low,</p> +<p class="i2">Argentines flat, Home Rails neglected?</p> +<p>Though mines may come and mines may go,</p> +<p class="i2">I'm indescribably dejected.</p> +<p>They may be, I am, "dull" and "weak."</p> +<p>Confound my throbbing, swollen cheek!</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>What do I care which party's in,</p> +<p class="i2">To take more pennies from my income,</p> +<p>Or, if from tax on beer or gin,</p> +<p class="i2">Or milk and water extra "tin" come?</p> +<p>My thoughts are "in another place";</p> +<p>This aching spreads throughout my face.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>What do I care for any play,</p> +<p class="i2">For dance or dinner, song or supper?</p> +<p>With pangs like these I can't be gay.</p> +<p class="i2">They spread from lower jaw to upper,</p> +<p>Across my face, as I have said,</p> +<p>And now attack my hapless head.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>What do I even care if She</p> +<p class="i2">May frown upon her wretched lover,</p> +<p>And like another more than me?</p> +<p class="i2">Such pangs I might in time recover.</p> +<p>I do not care, I do not know;</p> +<p>I'm aching now from top to toe.</p> + </div> </div> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 330px;"><a href="images/237-900.png"><img src="images/237-330.png" width="330" height="464" alt="A LEFT-HANDED COMPLIMENT." /></a> +<h3 class="sans">A LEFT-HANDED COMPLIMENT.</h3> + +<p>"<span class="sc">Back again, Doctor? I've been <i>so</i> much better since +you went away!</span>"</p></div> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind">Mr. <span class="sc">Rudyard Kipling</span> has +written another Barrack-room +Ballad (see <i>Pall Mall Gazette</i> of +Thursday last). It is called <i>The +Men that fought at Minden</i>, and +is perhaps the most coarse and +unattractive specimen of verse +that this great young man has +put forth yet—a jumble of words +without a trace of swing or +music. All this Tommy Atkins +business, with its "Rookies" +and its "Johnny Raws," and +its affectation of intimate knowledge +of the common soldier's +inmost feelings, is about played +out, and the interest in it is +not likely to be revived by such +jargon as <i>The Men that fought +at Minden</i>. Besides, didn't +Lord <span class="sc">George Sackville</span> fight(?) +at Minden?</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind1"><span class="sc">Explained at last.</span>—The (Zoo-) logical +excuse given for the boa-constrictor +when he swallowed his +companion, was that "he only +wanted a snack for luncheon." It +had been hinted that he found "the +other one" such a "boa" at meal +times that he was determined to +put him down. But this is not +the fact.</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<h2>A LITTLE CHANGE.</h2> + +<p>Hang it all! They have blocked the street and are laying it with +asphalte; just in May, as usual. From early morning the quiet of +my rooms is disturbed by the noise of the work, when I go out I +scramble over heaps of rubbish, past smoking cauldrons of pitch, and +when I come home at night my cab drops me nearly a quarter of a +mile away. Moreover, one neighbouring house is being painted, and +the other is being rebuilt. I fly from falling dust and brickbats, only +to run against ladders and paint-pots. It is awful. And now my +Aunt <span class="sc">Jane</span> is coming up from Bath, and has invited herself to tea at +my chambers. Her rheumatism prevents her from walking more +than a yard or two, she cannot bear any noise, and the smell of paint +makes her ill. She is very rich, and could leave all she has to the +poor. Accurately speaking, that class includes me, but in my aunt's +opinion it does not. She is very suspicious, and, if I made excuses +and invited her to tea anywhere else, she would feel convinced that I +was hiding some guilty secret in my dull, quiet, respectable rooms. +She is very prim, and the mere suggestion of such a thing would +alienate her from me for ever. Why on earth can't she stop in +Bath? And I shall have to go with her to May meetings! It is impossible; +I must fly. But where? She has a horror and suspicion of +all foreign nations, except perhaps the steady, industrious Swiss. +Good idea—Switzerland. But what reason can I give for rushing off +just now? Someone must send me. I have it. She knows I try to +write a little, so I will say my editor requires me to go at once to +Geneva to write a series of articles in the Jardin Alpin d'Acclimatation +on Alpine botany. Botany, how respectable! Geneva, how +sedate! Makes one think at once of <span class="sc">Calvin</span> and Geneva bands. +These sound rather frivolous, something like German bands, but they +are not really so, only, I believe, a sort of clerical cravat. Then I +will start off to Paris, the direct way to Geneva.</p> + +<p>Perhaps I shall never reach Geneva. Paris will do well enough. +No streets there taken up in the Spring. No painting on the clean +stone houses. No rebuilding on the Boulevards. No aunt of mine +anywhere near. I shall escape all my troubles. I shall be able to +smoke my cigarette lazily in the pleasant courtyard of the Grand +Hôtel, and try to imagine that I see some of the people in +<i>Trilby</i>—<i>Little +Billee</i>, or <i>Taffy</i>, or the <i>Laird</i>—amongst the animated, +cosmopolitan +crowd. And the stately giant in the gilt chain will solemnly +arrange the newspapers in all languages, and will supply me with +note-paper. I must be careful not to write to my aunt a long description +of the Jardin Alpin d'Acclimatation de Geneve on paper +stamped "Grand Hôtel, Paris." And the attentive <span class="sc">Joseph</span>, with +those long grey whiskers, sacred to the elderly French waiter and +the elderly French lawyer, will exclaim, "<i>V'là, M'sieu!</i>" in all +those varied tones which make the two syllables mean "Yessir!" +"Coming, Sir!" "Here is your coffee, Sir!" "In a minute, Sir!" +and so many things besides. And I shall be able to watch, +assembled from all parts of the world, some younger and prettier +faces than my Aunt <span class="sc">Jane's</span>. That settles it. A regretful letter to +my aunt. And to-morrow <i>en route!</i></p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind"><span class="sc">Change of Spelling?</span>—Our dramatic friend known to the public +through <i>Mr. Punch</i> as <span class="sc">Enry Hauthor Jones</span> appears to have +recently altered the spelling of his name. He has left the <span class="sc">Jones</span> +and the <span class="sc">Henry</span> alone, but in the <i>Times</i> of Friday he appears as +"<span class="sc">Henry Arth<i>e</i>r Jones</span>," "U" out of it; and what was "E" +doing there?</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind1"><span class="sc">Presentation to the Rev. Guinness Rogers.</span>—Last week this +worthy minister was presented by his Congregationalists with an +address and a cheque for a thousand guineas, Mr. <span class="sc">Gladstone</span>, +ex-minister, +being among the subscribers. In future the <i>bénéficiaire</i> +will be remembered as the "Reverend Thousand <span class="sc">Guinness Rogers</span>."</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind2"><span class="sc">Music Note</span> (<i>after hearing Mr. J. M. Coward's performance on +the Orchestral Harmonium</i>).—It would be high praise to say of any +organist that "he attacks his instrument in a Cowardly manner."</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="center">"<span class="sc">Very Appropriate.</span>"—Last Wednesday the Right Hon. <span class="sc">A. W. +<i>Peel</i></span> became a "<i>Skinner</i>."</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page238" id="page238"></a>[pg 238]</span></p> + +<h3>A COMING CHARGE.</h3> + +<p class="center">(<i>Prematurely Communicated by our Prophetic Reporter.</i>)</p> + +<p>Gentlemen of the Jury, for the +last couple of years or so you have +no doubt read any number of denunciations +of the conduct of the +man whose actions you are now +about to investigate. You have +heard him abused right and left. +You have seen pictures of him, in +which he has been held up to +scorn and public ridicule. You +have heard it announced in all +quarters that he is a scoundrel +and a thief. And as this has +been the case, Gentlemen of the +Jury, it is my duty to tell you +that you must put aside the recollection +of these attacks. You +must treat the prisoner before +you as if he were immaculate. +In fact you must lay aside all +prejudice, and give the man a +fair trial; and, Gentlemen, it is +my duty (sanctioned by precedent) +to have the pleasure of informing +you that I am sure you will! +Yes, Gentlemen of the Jury, +having regard to all the circumstances +of the case, I repeat, I +am sure you will!</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind1">At the National Liberal Club, on +Wednesday, Lord <span class="sc">Rosebery</span> told +the company they were not dancing +on a volcano. That may be true, +but it is equally true that the +Government, in proposing to remit +the sixpenny duty on whisky, +are riding for a fall in (or, shall +we say, a drop of) the "crater."</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;"><a href="images/238-900.png"><img src="images/238-360.png" width="360" height="474" alt="A WELLINGTON (STREET) MEMORIAL." /></a> +<h3 class="sans">A WELLINGTON (STREET) MEMORIAL.</h3> + +<p><span class="sc">General Opinion (Mr. Punch) presents the Medal of the +Highest Order of Histrionic Merit to Henry Irving in +recognition of distinguished service as <i>Corporal Gregory +Brewster</i> in the action of Conan Doyle's "Story of Waterloo.</span>"</p></div> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<h3>ON THE NEW STATUE.</h3> + +<p class="ind2">["Her Majesty's Government are +about to entrust to one of our first +sculptors a great historical statue, +which has too long been wanting to +the series of those who have governed +England."—<i>Lord Rosebery at the +Royal Academy Banquet.</i>]</p> + +<div class="poem width21"> <div class="stanza"> +<p>Our "Uncrowned King" at last to stand</p> +<p class="i2">'Midst the legitimate Lord's Anointed?</p> +<p>How will they shrink, that sacred band,</p> +<p class="i2">Dismayed, disgusted, disappointed!</p> +<p>The <i>parvenu</i> Protector thrust</p> +<p class="i2">Amidst the true Porphyrogeniti?</p> +<p>How will it stir right royal dust!</p> +<p class="i2">The mutton-eating king's amenity</p> +<p>Were hardly proof against this slur.</p> +<p class="i2"><span class="sc">William</span> the thief, <span class="sc">Rufus</span> the bully,</p> +<p>The traitor <span class="sc">John</span>, and <span class="sc">James</span> the cur,—</p> +<p class="i2">Their royal purple how 'twill sully</p> +<p>To rub against the brewer's buff!</p> +<p class="i2"><span class="sc">Harry</span>, old Mother Church's glory</p> +<p>Meet this Conventicler?—Enough!</p> +<p class="i2">The Butcher dimmed not England's story</p> +<p>But rather brightened her renown.</p> +<p class="i2">In camp and court it must be said,</p> +<p>And if he did not win a crown,</p> +<p class="i2">At least he never <i>lost his head!</i></p> + </div> </div> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="center">Among Mr. <span class="sc">Le Gallienne's</span> new +poems there is one entitled <i>Tree +Worship</i>. It is <i>not</i> dedicated +to the lessee of the Haymarket +Theatre by "an Admirer."</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<h3>A MAY MEETING.</h3> + +<div class="poem width24"> <div class="stanza"> +<p>They met in a cake-shop hard by the Strand,</p> +<p class="i2">He in black broadcloth, and she in silk.</p> +<p>She had a glass of "fizz" in her hand,</p> +<p class="i2">He had a bun and a cup of milk.</p> +<p>She had a sunshade of burnished crimson,</p> +<p class="i2">He had a brolly imperfectly furled,</p> +<p>And a pair of <i>pince-nez</i> with tortoiseshell rims on.</p> +<p class="i2">He looked the Church, and she seemed the World.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>They sat on each side of a marble table,</p> +<p class="i2">His legs were curled round the legs of his chair.</p> +<p>Around them babbled a miniature Babel;</p> +<p class="i2">The sunlight gleamed on her coppery hair.</p> +<p>She held a crumpled Academy Guide,</p> +<p class="i2">Scored with crosses in bold blacklead;</p> +<p>A pile of leaflets lay at his side,</p> +<p class="i2">And he grasped a Report, which he gravely read.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>His shaven lip was pendulous, long,</p> +<p class="i2">Her mouth was a cherry-hued <i>moue mutine</i>,</p> +<p>His complacent, uncomely, strong,</p> +<p class="i2">Hers soft appetence sharpened with spleen.</p> +<p>Her eyes scale-glitter, his oyster-dim,</p> +<p class="i2">His huge mouth hardened, her small lips curled</p> +<p>As he gazed at her and she glanced at him;</p> +<p class="i2">He looked the Church, and she seemed the World.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>"A holy spouter from Exeter Hall!"</p> +<p class="i2">(So she mused as she sipped her wine.)</p> +<p>"A butterfly in the Belial thrall</p> +<p class="i2">Of Vanity Fair, all tinkle and shine!"</p> +<p>So thought he as he crumbled his bun</p> +<p class="i2">With clumsy fingers in loose black cloth;</p> +<p>And the impish spirit of genial fun</p> +<p class="i2">Hovered about them and mocked them both.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>Mutual ignorance, mutual scorn,</p> +<p class="i2">Revealed in glances aflame though fleeting;</p> +<p>Such, in the glow of this glad May morn,</p> +<p class="i2">The inhuman spirit of mortal meeting.</p> +<p>The worm must disparage the butterfly,</p> +<p class="i2">The butterfly must despise the worm;</p> +<p>And Scorn, the purblind, will ne'er descry</p> +<p class="i2">A common bond, or a middle term.</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>Modish folly, factitious Art?</p> +<p class="i2">True, grave homilist, sadly true!</p> +<p>But <i>Boanerges</i> truculent, tart,</p> +<p class="i2">What of the part that is played by you?</p> +<p>You denouncing the "Snare of Beauty,"</p> +<p class="i2">She affecting to feel its spell,—</p> +<p>Which falls shortest of human duty?</p> +<p class="i2">Shallow censor, can <i>you</i> quite tell?</p> + </div><div class="stanza"> +<p>Meanwhile the lilac is blithely budding,</p> +<p class="i2">And sweetly breatheth the nutty May,</p> +<p>The golden sunshine the earth is flooding,</p> +<p class="i2">And you—you echo the old, old bray</p> +<p>Of <i>Boanerges</i>. A broader greeting</p> +<p class="i2">Of brotherhood full, warm hearts, wide eyes</p> +<p>Might lend a meaning to your "May Meeting"</p> +<p class="i2">To gladden the gentle and win the wise.</p> + </div> </div> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind1">"<span class="sc">What's in a Name? A Rossa, &c.</span>"—Before +being ejected from the House of Commons +on Wednesday last, <span class="sc">O'Donovan Rossa</span> +shouted out that "A stain had been put upon +his name." Where is the ingenious craftsman +who did it? He might try his hand +next time at gilding refined gold.</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="center"><span class="sc">Query.</span>—Can a champagne wine from the +vintage of "Ay" be invariably and fairly +described as "Ay 1"?</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<h3>MODES AND METALS.</h3> + +<p class="title1">["Neckties made of aluminium have just been +invented in Germany."—<i>Evening Paper.</i>]</p> + +<p class="ind">Visited my tailor's puddling works to-day. +He has some really neat new pig-iron fabrics +for the season. I am thinking of trying his +Bessemer steel indestructible evening-dress +suits.</p> + +<p class="ind">Really this new plan of mineral clothing +comes in very usefully when one is attacked +by roughs on a dark night. Floored an +assailant most satisfactorily with a touch of +my lead handkerchief.</p> + +<p class="ind">The only objection I can find to my +aluminium summer suiting is its tendency to +get red hot if I stand in the sun for five +minutes.</p> + +<p class="ind">I think I can now safely defy my laundress +to injure my patent safety ironclad steel +shirts.</p> + +<p class="ind">I find, however, that there is no need of a +laundress at all. When one's linen is soiled, +sand-paper and a mop will clean it in no time.</p> + +<p class="ind">My frock-coat has got a nasty kink in it; +must send it to be repaired at the smelting +furnace.</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="ind1"><span class="sc">Once Cut don't Come Again!</span>—It was +said by <i>The Figaro</i> last week that Japan +would demand "an extra payment of one +hundred millions of taels by China." But +surely a hundred million Chinamen would +evince a pig-headed obstinacy in parting +with, or being parted from, their "tails" on +any consideration.</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<p class="center">"<span class="sc">A Lightship Sunk.</span>"—Impossible! +couldn't have been a lightship, it must have +been a very heavy ship.</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page239" id="page239"></a>[pg 239]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a href="images/239a-1500.png"><img src="images/239a-600.png" width="600" height="391" alt="Daughter (enthusiastically). 'Oh, Mamma!'" /></a> +<p><i>Daughter</i> (<i>enthusiastically</i>). "<span class="sc">Oh, Mamma! I +<i>must</i> Learn Bicycling! So delightful to go at such a pace!</span>"</p> + +<p><i>Mamma</i> (<i>severely</i>). "<span class="sc">No thank you, my dear; you are <i>quite</i> +'fast' enough already!</span>"</p></div> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<h2 class="sans">ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.</h2> + +<p class="title1">EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.</p> + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 200px;"><a href="images/239b-720.png"><img src="images/239b-200.png" width="200" height="295" alt="The Joys of Office. 'Speaker! Hats off, Strangers!'" /></a> +<p class="center">The Joys of Office.<br /> "Speaker! Hats off, Strangers!"</p></div> + +<div class="figright" style="width: 200px;"><a href="images/239c-580.png"><img src="images/239c-200.png" width="200" height="369" alt="The Cares of Office." /></a> +<p class="center">The Cares of Office.<br /> +Mr. Cawmel-Bannerman crosses the Lobby.</p></div> + +<p><i>House of Commons, Monday, May 6.</i>—Welsh Disestablishment +Bill on. So is The Man from Shropshire. <span class="sc">Stanley Leighton</span>, as +<span class="sc">George Trevelyan</span> pointed out long ago, is irresistibly like the +ruined Chancery Suitor of <i>Bleak House</i>. Always dashing into debate +as The Man from Shropshire broke in on the business of the Court of Chancery. +"Mr. Chairman!" he shouts, and waves his arms, as The Man from Shropshire +cried aloud, "My lord! My lord!" and tried to seize the Lord Chancellor +by wig or neck. After first ebullition, our Man from Shropshire +quietens down. Argues with gravity of tone and manner that seem to imply +he has something to say. Turns out he hasn't; but, on the Welsh Disestablishment +Bill, that no matter.</p> + +<p>Curious how this Church Bill brings to the front men who, if heard +at all, certainly do not speak in chorus on any other question. After +The Man from Shropshire comes <span class="sc">Tomlinson</span>, who, early in proceedings, +displays irresistible tendency to discuss points of order with +<span class="sc">Speaker</span>. New <span class="sc">Speaker</span> has, however, already got hand in, and, +before <span class="sc">Tomlinson</span>, who remembers being on his feet addressing Chair, +quite knows where he is, he finds himself sitting down again, <span class="sc">Cranborne</span> +also on warpath, his very hair bristling with indignation at this +fresh attack on the Church. Glib <span class="sc">Griffith-Boscawen</span> +has a field-night; makes long speech on moving Instruction +standing in his own name. His obvious, unaffected enjoyment of his +own oratory should be infectious; but isn't.</p> + +<p>Colonel <span class="sc">Lockwood</span>, that pillar of the Church, was +the first called on in Committee to move amendment. +Colonel not in his place. Report has it the devout +man is in library reading <span class="sc">Thomas À Kempis</span>, or <span class="sc">Drelincourt</span> +on Death. Here is opportunity for <span class="sc">Glib-Griffith</span> +to make another speech. Dashes in; starting +off with promise of good half-hour; desire for <span class="sc">Lockwood's</span> +appearance irresistible. As <span class="sc">Addison</span> says, with +hereditary disposition to drop into poetry, and the belief +that he is quoting <span class="sc">Tennyson</span>,</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page240" id="page240"></a>[pg 240]</span></p> + +<div class="poem width18"> <div class="stanza"> +<p>Better fifty words from <span class="sc">Lockwood</span></p> +<p>Than a thousand from <span class="sc">Boscawen</span>.</p> + </div> </div> + +<p>Scouts sent out in all directions. The Colonel discovered in sort of +oratory he has contrived in far recess of library. Brought back to +House; found <span class="sc">Boscawen</span> bowling along. "This is my show," said +the Colonel as he passed <span class="sc">Boscawen</span> on his way to his seat. More +fierceness in his eye than befit the man or the occasion. <span class="sc">Boscawen</span> +stared over his head, and went on with his speech. Opportunity too +precious to be lost. If <span class="sc">Lockwood</span> meant to move his amendment he +should have been there when called upon. He wasn't: <span class="sc">Boscawen</span> +found it, so to speak, by roadside. Now it was his; would make +the most of it; pegged along whilst the Colonel muttered remarks +as he glared upon him. Some who sat by said it was a prayer. +Others, catching a word here and there, said it was a quotation from +<span class="sc">Thomas À Kempis</span>. Whatever it might have been, Colonel seemed +much moved. Hardly pacified when, at end of twenty minutes, +<span class="sc">Glib-Griffith</span> sat down, and <span class="sc">Lockwood</span>, finding himself in +peculiar +position of seconding his own amendment, delivered the speech he +had prepared for moving it.</p> + +<p><i>Business done.</i>—Got into Committee on Welsh Disestablishment +Bill.</p> + +<p><i>Tuesday.</i>—Pretty to see <span class="sc">Prince Arthur</span> drop down on <span class="sc">George +Russell</span> just now for speaking +disrespectfully of <span class="sc">Silomio</span>. That +eminent patriot, having in his +newly-assumed character of Patron +Saint of Japan, cross-examined +<span class="sc">Edward Grey</span> upon latest Treaty +negotiations, accused <span class="sc">Asquith</span> of +nothing less than stealing a county. +"Filching" was precise word, +which has its equivalent in Slang +Dictionary in sneaking. Idea of +<span class="sc">Home Secretary</span> hovering over +the Marches in dead of night, and, +when he thought no one was looking, +picking up Monmouthshire, +and putting it in his coat-tail +pocket, amused scanty audience. +But <span class="sc">Silomio</span> really wrath. "Always +Anti-English this Government," +he exclaimed, with scornful +sweep of red right hand along line +of smiling faces on Treasury Bench. +"A stirring burst of British patriotism," +<span class="sc">George Russell</span> characterised +it. <span class="sc">John Bull</span> <i>in +excelsis</i>. The more notable since, +on reference to official record, he +found the Knight from Sheffield +was born in the United States, +and descended from the Pilgrim +Fathers.</p> + +<p>"Which one?" inquired voice +from back bench, an inquiry very +properly disregarded. (A new +phrase this, <span class="sc">Sark</span> notes, for use by +retired tradesmen, setting up to spend rest of useful lives in retirement +at Clapham or Camberwell. To trace their family tree back to +transplantation at period of Conquest, played out. Instead of +"Came over with the Conqueror," newer, more picturesque, equally +historical to say, "Came over with the Pilgrim Fathers.")</p> + +<p><span class="sc">Prince Arthur</span> not in mood for speculation of this kind. Cut to +the heart by remarks he suspected of slighting intent towards his +friend and colleague. In <span class="sc">Silomio Prince Arthur</span> has long learned +to recognise all the graces and all the talents. Apart from personal +consideration, he feels how much the Party owe to him for having +raised within its ranks the standard of culture and conduct. To have +him attacked, even in fun, by an Under Secretary, was more than +he could stand. So, in gravest tone, with no flicker of a smile on his +expressive countenance, he declared that a more unfortunate speech +he had never heard. "If the hon. gentleman intends," he added, +"to take a considerable part in debate, I would earnestly recommend +him either to change the character of his humour, or entirely +to repress the exhibition."</p> + +<p>Beautiful! In its way, all things considered, best thing <span class="sc">Prince +Arthur</span> has done this Session. House grinned; but two big hot +tears coursed down cheek of <span class="sc">Silomio</span>, making deep furrows in the +war paint.</p> + +<p>"That's tit for tat with <span class="sc">Georgie Russell</span>," said <span class="sc">Herbert +Gardner</span> to <span class="sc">Solicitor-General</span>, with vague recollection of a +historic phrase.</p> + +<p>"Quite perfect," said <span class="sc">Lockwood</span>. "But what a loss the stage +has sustained by <span class="sc">Prince Arthur</span> taking to politics? Tried both +myself and know something about it." <i>Business done.</i>—An eight +hours day with Welsh Disestablishment Bill.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"><a href="images/240-980.png"><img src="images/240-450.png" width="450" height="482" alt="Piling Peeler upon Rossa!" /></a> +<p class="center">Piling Peeler upon Rossa!</p></div> + +<p><i>Thursday.</i>—<span class="sc">Tanner's</span> curiosity inconveniently uncontrollable. +At end of sitting given up to Scotland no one thinking about +<span class="sc">Commander-in-Chief</span> or <span class="sc">Tanner</span> either. Successive divisions had +carried sitting far beyond midnight, that blessed hour at which, in +ordinary circumstances, debate stands adjourned. Quarter of an hour +occupied in dividing on question whether they should divide on amendment. +Proposal affirmed; another quarter of an hour spent in fresh +division. Nothing possible further to be done, Members streamed +forth, scrambling for cabs in Palace Yard. <span class="sc">Conybeare</span> in charge of +a Bill dealing with false alarms of fire, managed to get it through +Committee unopposed. Members little recked how near they were to +real alarm of worse than fire.</p> + +<p>Twenty minutes earlier, when last division taken, over 330 +Members filled House. Now the tide ebbed; only the thirty odd +Members in their places jealously watching <span class="sc">Speaker</span> running through +Orders of the Day. <span class="sc">Tanner</span> bobbing up and down on bench like +parched pea. Heard it somewhere whispered that Duke of <span class="sc">Cambridge</span>, +worn out with long campaign, about to unhelm, unbuckle +his sword, hang up his dinted armour. <span class="sc">Tanner</span> feels he can't go to +bed leaving unsettled the problem of truth or phantasy. Not a +moment to be lost. <span class="sc">Speaker</span> risen to put question "That this House +do now adjourn." Then <span class="sc">Tanner</span> blurts out the inquiry, "Is it +true?" "Order! order!" says +the <span class="sc">Speaker</span>. Well, if they didn't +like the question in the form he +had first put it, he would try +again.</p> + +<p>"I would ask," he said, adopting +conditional mood as least likely to +hurt anyone's feelings, "whether +a member of the Royal Family +who has really" (most desirous of +not putting it too strongly, but +really you know) "been drawing +public money too long is going to +retire?"</p> + +<p>"Order! order!" roared the few +Members present.</p> + +<p>"I would ask that question," +repeated <span class="sc">Tanner</span>, still in the conditional +mood, but nodding confidentially +all round.</p> + +<p>The Blameless <span class="sc">Bartley</span> happily +at post of duty. Broke in with +protest. <span class="sc">Speaker</span> ruled question +out of order. But the good <span class="sc">Tanner</span> +came back like a bad sixpence.</p> + +<p>"Is his Royal Highness going +to retire?" he insisted, getting redder +than ever in the face. "Order! +order!" shouted Members in chorus. +Thus encouraged, <span class="sc">Tanner</span> sang out +the solo again, "Is his Royal Highness +going to retire?"</p> + +<p>That was his question. The +<span class="sc">Speaker</span>, distinctly differing, +affirmed "The question is that the +House do now adjourn;" which it did straightway, leaving Dr. +<span class="sc">Tanner</span> to go to a sleepless bed haunted by an unanswered question.</p> + +<p>"What I should like," said Lieut.-General Sir <span class="sc">Frederick Wellington +Fitz Wygram</span>, who served in the Crimea with H.R.H., has +been in command of the Cavalry Brigade at Aldershot, and in other +positions come in personal contact with the <span class="sc">Commander-in-Chief</span>, +"What I should like," he repeated reflectively, stroking his chin, +"would be the opportunity, enjoyed from a safe distance, of hearing +the Dook personally reply to <span class="sc">Tanner's</span> interrogation."</p> + +<p><i>Business done.</i>—Wrangle all night round Scotch Committee.</p> + +<p><i>Friday.</i>—<span class="sc">Squire</span> sat through dull morning sitting listening with +air of pathetic resignation to Members talking round Budget. <span class="sc">Quilter</span> +led off with prodigiously long paper on the Art of Brewing Beer. +Seems they fill up the cup with all kinds of mysterious ingredients. +<span class="sc">Brookfield</span>, looking round and observing both <span class="sc">Joseph</span> and +<span class="sc">Jesse</span> +absent, whispered in ear of sympathetic Chairman that Birmingham +has reputation in the Trade of making and drinking beer containing +minimum of malt, maximum of sugar, and warranted to do the +greatest damage to the system. <span class="sc">Squire</span>, momentarily waking up +from mournful mood, observed that Birmingham is also headquarters +of Liberal Unionism. Might be nothing in coincidence, but +there it was. <span class="sc">Rasch</span> posed as the distressed agriculturist. +<span class="sc">Jokim</span> +tried to walk on both sides of road at same time, and Government +got majority of 24. <i>Business done.</i>—Budget Resolutions agreed to.</p> + +<hr class="medium" /> + +<h4>TO YVETTE GUILBERT AT THE EMPIRE.</h4> + +<div class="poem width21"> <div class="stanza"> +<p><span class="sc">Yvette!</span> your praise resounds on every hand.</p> +<p>And those laugh loudest who least understand.</p> + </div> </div> + +<hr /> + +<div class="tn"> + +<h4>Transcriber's Note</h4> + +<p>Page 229: 'visistor' corrected to 'visitor'.</p> + +<p>(<i>Knock.</i>) Ah, here comes my visitor. (<i>Enter stranger.</i>)</p> + +<p>The illustration for 'The Old Crusaders' originally covered 2 pages, +pp. 234 and 235 (centrefold/centerfold), with a blank page on either side.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 44790 ***</div> +</body> +</html> + diff --git a/44790-h/images/229-1200.png b/44790-h/images/229-1200.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a004684 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/229-1200.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/229-500.png b/44790-h/images/229-500.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d8e77fa --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/229-500.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/230a-1500.png b/44790-h/images/230a-1500.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..049d968 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/230a-1500.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/230a-600.png b/44790-h/images/230a-600.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1cc1317 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/230a-600.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/230b-100.png b/44790-h/images/230b-100.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..cb2d612 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/230b-100.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/230b-250.png b/44790-h/images/230b-250.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..505c42b --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/230b-250.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/231-1500.png b/44790-h/images/231-1500.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7c564b6 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/231-1500.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/231-600.png b/44790-h/images/231-600.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..fc2b7e1 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/231-600.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/232-330.png b/44790-h/images/232-330.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1be0458 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/232-330.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/232-900.png b/44790-h/images/232-900.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c1d55d3 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/232-900.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/234-320.png b/44790-h/images/234-320.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..df74a5b --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/234-320.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/234-900.png b/44790-h/images/234-900.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b2b34c2 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/234-900.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/237-330.png b/44790-h/images/237-330.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..db62320 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/237-330.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/237-900.png b/44790-h/images/237-900.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..10ccab5 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/237-900.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/238-360.png b/44790-h/images/238-360.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3612345 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/238-360.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/238-900.png b/44790-h/images/238-900.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..4d7520f --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/238-900.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/239a-1500.png b/44790-h/images/239a-1500.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c9548b5 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/239a-1500.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/239a-600.png b/44790-h/images/239a-600.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e1ba10e --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/239a-600.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/239b-200.png b/44790-h/images/239b-200.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b20555c --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/239b-200.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/239b-720.png b/44790-h/images/239b-720.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..f65b99f --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/239b-720.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/239c-200.png b/44790-h/images/239c-200.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..782c13c --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/239c-200.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/239c-580.png b/44790-h/images/239c-580.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..cee3e15 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/239c-580.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/240-450.png b/44790-h/images/240-450.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1189c7b --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/240-450.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/240-980.png b/44790-h/images/240-980.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7ea4075 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/240-980.png diff --git a/44790-h/images/cover.jpg b/44790-h/images/cover.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..15a0d76 --- /dev/null +++ b/44790-h/images/cover.jpg |
