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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 45292 ***
+
+THE PLACID PUG AND OTHER RHYMES
+
+By (The Belgian Hare) Lord Alfred Douglas
+
+Author of "Tails with a twist" and "The Duke of Berwick"
+
+Illustrated by P. P.
+
+1906
+
+
+[Illustration: 008]
+
+[Illustration: 010]
+
+
+
+
+THE PLACID PUG
+
+
+|THE placid Pug that paces in the Park,
+
+`Harnessed in silk and led by leathern lead,
+
+Lives his dull life, and recks not of the Shark
+
+`In distant waters. Lapped in sloth and greed,
+
+He fails in strenuous life to make a mark,
+
+The placid Pug that paces in the park.=
+
+
+
+Round the slow circle of his nights and days
+
+`His life revolves in calm monotony.
+
+Not unsusceptible to casual praise,
+
+`And mildly moved by the approach of "tea,"
+
+No forked and jagged lightning leaps and plays
+
+Round the slow circle of his nights and days.=
+
+
+
+He scarcely turns his round protuberant eyes,
+
+`To mark the mood of animals or men.
+
+His joy is limited to mild surmise
+
+`When a new biscuit swims into his ken.
+
+And when athwart his gaze a Rabbit flies,
+
+He scarcely turns his round protuberant eyes.=
+
+
+
+And all the while the Shark in Southern seas
+
+[Illustration: 013]
+
+`Pursues the paths of his pulsating quest,
+
+Though the thermometer at fierce degrees
+
+`Might well admonish him to take a rest,
+
+The Pug at home snores in ignoble ease.
+
+(And all the while the Shark in Southern seas!)=
+
+
+
+If Pugs like Sharks were brought up in the sea
+
+`And forced to swim long miles to find their food,
+
+Tutored to front the Hake's hostility,
+
+`And beard the Lobster in his dangerous mood,
+
+Would not their lives more sane, more useful be,
+
+If Pugs like Sharks were brought up in the sea?=
+
+
+
+The placid Pug still paces in the park,
+
+`Untouched by thoughts of all that might have been.
+
+Undreaming that he might have "steered his bark"
+
+`Through many a stirring sight and stormy scene.
+
+But being born a Pug and not a Shark
+
+The placid Pug still paces in the park.=
+
+
+
+
+BALLAD FOR BISHOPS
+
+
+|BISHOPS and others who inhabit
+
+The mansions of the blest on earth,
+
+[Illustration: 015]
+
+Grieved by decline of infant birth,
+
+Have drawn attention to the rabbit.
+
+Not by design these good men work
+
+To raise that beast to heights contested,
+
+But by comparison, suggested,
+
+With those who procreation shirk.=
+
+
+
+For if a nation's moral status
+
+Be measured by prolific habit,
+
+Between man and the meanest rabbit
+
+There is an evident hiatus.=
+
+
+
+Each year, by lowest computations,
+
+Six times the rabbit rears her young,
+
+And frequent marriages among
+
+The very closest blood relations
+
+In very tender years ensure
+
+A constant stream of "little strangers,"
+
+Who, quickly grown to gallant rangers,
+
+See that their families endure.=
+
+
+
+Not theirs to shirk paternal cares,
+
+Moved by considerations sordid,
+
+A child can always "be afforded";
+
+The same applies to Belgian hares.=
+
+
+
+These noble brutes, pure Duty's pendants,
+
+May live to see their blood vermilion
+
+Coursing through something like a billion
+
+Wholly legitimate descendants.=
+
+
+
+Knowledge's path is hard and stony,
+
+And some may read who unaware are
+
+That rabbit brown and Belgian hare are
+
+Both members of the genus Coney.=
+
+
+
+The common hare, who lives in fields
+
+And never goes into a hole,
+
+(In this inferior to the mole)
+
+In all things to the Belgian yields.=
+
+
+
+He will, immoral brute, decline
+
+To multiply domestic "pledges,"
+
+The family he rears in hedges
+
+Is often limited to nine.=
+
+
+
+Such shocking want of _savoir faire_,
+
+(Surely a symptom of insanity)
+
+Might goad a Bishop to profanity
+
+Were it not for the Belgian hare.=
+
+
+
+
+SONG FOR VINTNERS
+
+
+|THE Lion laps the limpid lake,
+
+`The Pard refuses wine,
+
+The sinuous Lizard and the Snake,
+
+`The petulant Porcupine,
+
+Agree in this, their thirst to quench
+
+Only with Nature's natural "drench."=
+
+
+
+In vain with beer you tempt the Deer,
+
+`Or lure the Marmozet;
+
+The early morning Chanticleer,
+
+`The painted Parroquet,
+
+Alike, on claret and champagne
+
+Gaze with unfaltering disdain.=
+
+
+
+No ale or spirit tempts the Ferret,
+
+`No juice of grape the Toad.
+
+[Illustration: 022]
+
+In vain towards the "Harp and Merit"
+
+`The patient Ox you goad;
+
+Not his in rapture to extol
+
+The praises of the flowing bowl.=
+
+
+
+The silent Spider laughs at cider,
+
+`The Horse despises port;
+
+The Crocodile (whose mouth is wider
+
+`Than any other sort)
+
+Prefers the waters of the Nile
+
+To any of a stronger style.=
+
+
+
+The Rabbit knows no "private bar,"
+
+`The Pelican will wander
+
+Through arid plains of Kandahar,
+
+`Nor ever pause to ponder
+
+Whether in that infernal clime
+
+The clocks converge to "closing time."=
+
+
+
+True "bona-fide traveller"
+
+`Urging no sophist plea,
+
+How terrible must seem to her
+
+`Man's inebriety;
+
+She who in thirsty moments places
+
+Her simple trust in green oases.=
+
+
+
+With what calm scorn the Unicorn,
+
+`In his remote retreat,
+
+Must contemplate the fervour born
+
+`Of old "Château Lafitte."
+
+Conceive the feelings of the Sphinx
+
+Confronted with Columbian drinks!=
+
+
+
+And oh! if all this solemn truth
+
+`Were dinned into its mind
+
+From earliest years, might not our youth
+
+`Regenerate mankind,
+
+Aspire to climb the Heights, and dare
+
+To emulate the Belgian hare?=
+
+
+
+
+HYMN FOR HUMBLE PEOPLE
+
+
+|THE staunch and strenuous Serpent spends his time
+
+`In the safe field of serpentine pursuits,
+
+Rightly considering it a social crime
+
+`To parody the ways of other brutes.=
+
+
+
+Scorning the fraud of alien aspirations,
+
+`The snobbishness that apes another class,
+
+Proud, and yet conscious of his limitations,
+
+`He bites the dust and grovels in the grass.=
+
+
+
+The moral food that keeps him down is Force,
+
+`Force to confine his fancies to their beds.
+
+[Illustration: 028]
+
+Makes him the laughing-stock of quadrupeds.=
+
+
+
+No weak attempt to carol like the Lark,
+
+`Fore-doomed to failure and to ridicule,
+
+Troubles his life; he does not wish to bark,
+
+`Has no desire to amble like a Mule.=
+
+
+
+Having no legs he does not try to walk,
+
+`But keeps contentedly his native crawl;
+
+Having no voice he does not strive to talk,
+
+`Much less to bellow or to caterwaul.=
+
+
+
+Mark the inevitably reached result:
+
+`To balance the advantages he missed,
+
+In three departments he may yet exult
+
+`To be the only perfect specialist.=
+
+
+
+Three arts are his: to writhe, to hiss, to creep.
+
+`The Toad's tenacity, the Wombat's wiles,
+
+Or the keen cunning of the crafty Sheep
+
+`(And all are artists in their various styles),=
+
+
+
+Would vainly challenge them. He reigns supreme
+
+`In these the fields of his activity,
+
+And reigning so defies the envious Bream,
+
+`Who sneers and shrugs and sniggers in the sea.=
+
+
+
+Type of the wise, who roar but never foam
+
+`(If they can help it) at the mouth, except
+
+When night and morn they brush their teeth at home
+
+`With pallid powder for that purpose kept.=
+
+
+
+
+VERSICLES FOR VEGETARIANS
+
+
+|SINCE Dr. Watts in frenzy fine
+
+`Extolled the "busy Bee,"
+
+The patience of the Porcupine,
+
+`The Newt's fidelity,
+
+The calm contentment of the Pike,
+
+Have stirred our hearts and brain alike.=
+
+
+
+Lives there a man so lost, so low,
+
+`That he has never found
+
+Some lesson in the Buffalo,
+
+`Some precept in the Hound?
+
+Few who have won Victoria's cross
+
+Owe _nothing_ to the Albatross.=
+
+
+
+These pleasant thoughts must turn our minds,
+
+`In meditation quiet,
+
+Towards the moral law that binds
+
+`The principles of diet.
+
+Since 'tis a maxim none disputes,
+
+That we should imitate the brutes.=
+
+
+
+As has been shown in former verse,
+
+`The animal creation
+
+Does not in its own nature nurse
+
+`Inebriate inclination;
+
+Nor is it formed by Heaven to pant
+
+For alcoholic stimulant.=
+
+
+
+That being so, our path is plain,
+
+`We must eschew all drinks;
+
+If we are anxious to attain
+
+`To the celestial brinks,
+
+The meanest Hippopotamus
+
+Will make our duty clear to us.=
+
+
+
+But in the search for Natural guides
+
+`To moral food-restrictions,
+
+We are assaulted on all sides
+
+`By patent contradictions.
+
+Thus, while the Lion lives on meat,
+
+The Pheasant is content with wheat.=
+
+
+
+Who then, when beasts do not agree,
+
+`Shall venture to decide?
+
+[Illustration: 033]
+
+Some will adopt the Chimpanzee
+
+[Illustration: 034]
+
+`And some the Fox as guide,
+
+Others the Bear or Antelope,
+
+Nature allows the fullest scope.=
+
+
+
+
+HYMN FOR HOWLERS
+
+
+|WHO that has sailed upon the ocean's face,
+
+`Or walked beside the sea along the sand,
+
+Has not felt envy for the piscine race,
+
+Comparing its domain, where noise is banned,
+
+To the infernal racket that takes place
+
+On land?=
+
+
+
+While up above the billows rage and roar
+
+And make a most unnecessary noise,
+
+And shallow Shrimps, who live too near the shore,
+
+Are harassed by the shouts of girls and boys,
+
+Who find the beach a place convenient for
+
+Their toys,=
+
+
+
+The happy members of the Fishy clan
+
+Pursue in peace their various pursuits,
+
+All undisturbed by bell of muffin-man,
+
+Or bellow of purveyor of fresh fruits,
+
+Who at each "Pub" his voice republican
+
+Recruits.=
+
+
+
+The harmless Herring gambols with his young,
+
+And heeds but hears not their impulsive play.
+
+(His heart is with their mother who was flung,
+
+Kippered to feed a clerk's bank-holiday,
+
+Into the salting-tub and passed unsung
+
+Away.)=
+
+
+
+Now, had this Herring been of human breed,
+
+And lived in London or some other town,
+
+Fate would have made him _hear_ as well as heed
+
+His offspring as it gambolled up and down,
+
+[Illustration: 037]
+
+Making a noise that's very hard indeed
+
+To drown.=
+
+
+
+Moreover, organ-grinders would have ground,
+
+And yowls from both "employed" and "unemployed";
+
+Hoarse howls from those who had "salvation" found,
+
+And bawls from those whose faith had been destroyed,
+
+Would have combined to keep his sense of sound
+
+Annoyed.=
+
+
+
+Who would not therefore rather be a Whale,
+
+A Hake, a Haddock, or a Mackerel,
+
+Than linger in this sad uncertain vale
+
+(Here where men sit and hear each other yell)?
+
+Better to go, if other places fail,
+
+To ------
+
+
+
+
+DIRGE FOR DEFEATED CANDIDATES
+
+
+|THE dreadful Dragon and the Unicorn,
+
+`Accustomed to be treated with respect,
+
+`And much annoyed by present-day neglect,
+
+Have sometimes wished they never had been born,
+
+`At least in any world so "unselect."=
+
+
+
+Their non-existence being now a "fact"
+
+`Accepted by mankind's majority,
+
+`They naturally feel quite "up a tree."
+
+They don't know what to do to counteract
+
+`These damned delusions of Democracy.=
+
+
+
+Although they often walk out in the sun,
+
+`And show themselves in all important streets,
+
+`Although in fact they have their "regular beats,"
+
+They're hardly ever seen by any one,
+
+`And get no notice in the "daily sheets."=
+
+
+
+Although as signs they hang on various inns,
+
+`They find themselves irrevocably "out."=
+
+
+
+[Illustration: 040]
+
+In vain they prance and caracole about,
+
+Even the tribute of "derisive grins"
+
+`Is now denied them in their final rout.=
+
+
+
+Mere non-belief in his existence may
+
+`Seem, to one emptying a festive flagon
+
+`In the interior of the "Wasp and Wagon,"
+
+A very trifling matter any way.
+
+`But it is most annoying to the Dragon.=
+
+
+
+The subject may appear beneath contempt
+
+`To one who holds the world's applause in scorn,
+
+`Preferring in a cloister to adorn
+
+"Illumined scrolls in heavenly colours dreamt,"
+
+`But it is galling to the Unicorn.
+
+
+
+
+POEM FOR THE PROUD
+
+
+|SEEN in the mirror of the poet's dream,
+
+(Exclusively reserved for the "elect"),
+
+Each animal supplies us with a theme
+
+For wondering-admiration and respect.
+
+Thus, to those men who truly modest seem
+
+Compare
+
+The Hare.=
+
+
+
+The Bee performs all sorts of useful things
+
+When she is gathering honey for the hive,
+
+She fertilises flowers and plants, and brings
+
+Food to keep necessary Drones alive.
+
+Unless annoyed she very seldom stings,
+
+Dear me!
+
+The Bee.=
+
+
+
+The Dove extols and cherishes his mate,
+
+And coos and woos all through the summer day.
+
+H is life is blamelessly immaculate,
+
+And though his wings enable him to stray,
+
+He seldom does. He never comes home late.
+
+By Jove!
+
+The Dove.=
+
+
+
+The Crow displays a splendid scorn of pelf,
+
+Backed by invulnerable self-restraint.
+
+All specious arts he lays upon the shelf,
+
+And, being free from every primal taint,
+
+He keeps himself entirely to himself.
+
+[Illustration: 044]
+
+Bravo
+
+The Crow!=
+
+
+
+The Stork _compels_ our admiration, he
+
+Will stand for several hours in the same place
+
+And on one leg, instead of two (or three),
+
+Thus practising economy of space.
+
+A grand example of stability!
+
+Oh Lork!
+
+The Stork.=
+
+
+
+The self-repressive Cod, on his own beat,
+
+Swims in elaborately-studied curves.
+
+He keeps below, not wishing to compete
+
+With surface-swimming fishes, though his nerves
+
+Are sometimes tried by lack of air, and heat.
+
+Good God!
+
+The Cod.=
+
+
+
+
+SONG FOR SIDLERS
+
+
+|THE Crab walks sideways, not because his build
+
+`Precludes the possibility of walking straight,
+
+And not (as some have thought) that he is filled
+
+`With strange and lawless theories on gait;
+
+Still less that he is foolishly self-willed
+
+`And prone to show off or exaggerate.=
+
+
+
+No serious student of his life and ways
+
+`Will venture to impugn his common sense;
+
+His tact and moderation win high praise
+
+`Even from those whose faculties are dense
+
+And blind to the false issues which they raise
+
+`When they accuse him of malevolence.=
+
+
+
+"But, ah!" these shallow hide-bound pedants cry,
+
+`"If to the Crab all virtues you concede,
+
+If his intentions are not evil, why
+
+`This sidelong walk,
+
+[Illustration: 047]
+
+`These flanking steps that lead
+
+To no advancement of Humanity,
+
+`No exaltation of the mortal breed?=
+
+
+
+"Why not go forward as the Sword-fish goes?
+
+`Or move straight backward, like the jibbing Horse
+
+Why this absurd and pitiable pose
+
+`That takes delight in any devious course?
+
+Why this dislike to 'following the nose'
+
+`Which all the best authorities endorse?"=
+
+
+
+Insensate fools. Swims not the Cod in curves?
+
+`Does not the running Roebuck leap and bound
+
+If in his flight the Capercailzie swerves,
+
+`Shall he be mocked by every Basset-hound
+
+Who, having neither feathers, wings, nor nerves,
+
+`Has not the pluck to rise up from the ground?=
+
+
+
+Peace, peace, the Crab adopts a side-long walk,
+
+`For reasons still impossible to see.
+
+And if his pride permitted him to talk
+
+`To any one who did not do as he,
+
+His instinct would be, probably, to balk
+
+`The hopes of vulgar curiosity.=
+
+
+
+And while the schoolmen argue and discuss,
+
+`And fill the air with "whats," and "whens," and "whys,"
+
+And demonstrate as: thus, and thus, and thus,
+
+`The crab will pulverise their theories,
+
+And put an end to all this foolish fuss
+
+`By walking sideways into Paradise.
+
+
+
+
+FRAGMENT FOR PHILOSOPHERS
+
+
+|IN the abysses of the ocean deeps,
+
+`Fathoms removed from men and mortal strife,
+
+[Illustration: 050]
+
+The unexpectant Oyster smiles and sleeps
+
+`Through the calm cycle of his peaceful life.=
+
+
+
+What though above his head the steamboat plies,
+
+`And close at hand he hears the fume and fuss
+
+Of the impetuous Halibut that flies
+
+`The mad embraces of the Octopus.=
+
+
+
+Though the fierce tails of Whales like flails descend
+
+`Upon the water lashed to furious foam,
+
+And the Sea-serpents writhe and twist and bend
+
+`All round the purlieus of his ocean home,=
+
+
+
+He still preserves his philosophic calm,
+
+`His high detachment from material things,
+
+And lays to his untroubled soul the balm
+
+`Of that contentment oft denied to kings.=
+
+
+
+Not far off, on the shore, men fume and fret,
+
+`And prowl and howl and postulate and preach,
+
+The Baby bellows in the bassinet,
+
+`And the Salvation Army on the beach.=
+
+
+
+The unsuccessful "Artist" of the "Halls"
+
+`Has blacked his face with cork, and now he sings
+
+Of moons and coons and comic funerals
+
+[Illustration: 052]
+
+`And the enchantment that the cake-walk brings.=
+
+
+
+And on the pier the "milingtary band"
+
+`Poisons the air with beastly brazen sound,
+
+While cockney couples wander hand in hand,
+
+[Illustration: 053]
+
+`And dismal tourists tour,
+
+[Illustration: 054]
+
+And bounders bound.=
+
+
+
+And donkey-boys allure to donkey rides
+
+`The sitters on the sand beside the sea,
+
+And touts sell "guides" to all the town provides,
+
+`From theatres to "painless dentistry."=
+
+
+
+To all this noise the Oyster lends no ear,
+
+`Partly because he has no ear to lend,
+
+Partly because he hates to interfere,
+
+`Chiefly because these rhymes must have an end.=
+
+
+
+[Illustration: 056]
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Placid Pug and Other Rhymes, by 
+(AKA The Belgian Hare) Alfred Douglas
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 45292 ***
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+    p.pfirst, p.noindent {text-indent: 0}
+    span.dropcap         { float: left; margin: 0 0.1em 0 0; line-height: 1 }
+    pre        { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;}
+
+</style>
+  </head>
+  <body>
+<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 45292 ***</div>
+
+    <div style="height: 8em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h1>
+      THE PLACID PUG
+</h1>
+<h3>AND OTHER RHYMES
+</h3>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      By (The Belgian Hare) Lord Alfred Douglas
+    </h2>
+    <h4>
+      Author of "Tails with a twist" and "The Duke of Berwick"
+    </h4>
+    <h3>
+      Illustrated by P. P.
+    </h3>
+    <h5>
+      1906
+    </h5>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0001" id="linkimage-0001"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/008m.jpg" alt="008m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/008.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0002" id="linkimage-0002"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/010m.jpg" alt="010m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/010.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <b>CONTENTS</b>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> THE PLACID PUG </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> BALLAD FOR BISHOPS </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> SONG FOR VINTNERS </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> HYMN FOR HUMBLE PEOPLE </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> VERSICLES FOR VEGETARIANS </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> HYMN FOR HOWLERS </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0007"> DIRGE FOR DEFEATED CANDIDATES </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0008"> POEM FOR THE PROUD </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0009"> SONG FOR SIDLERS </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0010"> FRAGMENT FOR PHILOSOPHERS </a>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      THE PLACID PUG
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>HE placid Pug that
+      paces in the Park,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Harnessed in silk and led by leathern lead,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Lives his dull life, and recks not of the Shark
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      In distant waters. Lapped in sloth and greed,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He fails in strenuous life to make a mark,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The placid Pug that paces in the park.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Round the slow circle of his nights and days
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      His life revolves in calm monotony.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Not unsusceptible to casual praise,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And mildly moved by the approach of "tea,"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      No forked and jagged lightning leaps and plays
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Round the slow circle of his nights and days.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He scarcely turns his round protuberant eyes,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To mark the mood of animals or men.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      His joy is limited to mild surmise
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      When a new biscuit swims into his ken.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And when athwart his gaze a Rabbit flies,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He scarcely turns his round protuberant eyes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And all the while the Shark in Southern seas
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0003" id="linkimage-0003"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/013m.jpg" alt="013m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/013.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Pursues the paths of his pulsating quest,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Though the thermometer at fierce degrees
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Might well admonish him to take a rest,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Pug at home snores in ignoble ease.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      (And all the while the Shark in Southern seas!)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      If Pugs like Sharks were brought up in the sea
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And forced to swim long miles to find their food,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Tutored to front the Hake's hostility,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And beard the Lobster in his dangerous mood,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Would not their lives more sane, more useful be,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      If Pugs like Sharks were brought up in the sea?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The placid Pug still paces in the park,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Untouched by thoughts of all that might have been.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Undreaming that he might have "steered his bark"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Through many a stirring sight and stormy scene.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But being born a Pug and not a Shark
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The placid Pug still paces in the park.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      BALLAD FOR BISHOPS
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">B</span>ISHOPS and others
+      who inhabit
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The mansions of the blest on earth,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0004" id="linkimage-0004"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/015m.jpg" alt="015m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/015.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      Grieved by decline of infant birth,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Have drawn attention to the rabbit.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Not by design these good men work
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To raise that beast to heights contested,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But by comparison, suggested,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      With those who procreation shirk.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      For if a nation's moral status
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Be measured by prolific habit,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Between man and the meanest rabbit
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      There is an evident hiatus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Each year, by lowest computations,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Six times the rabbit rears her young,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And frequent marriages among
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The very closest blood relations
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In very tender years ensure
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A constant stream of "little strangers,"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Who, quickly grown to gallant rangers,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      See that their families endure.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Not theirs to shirk paternal cares,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Moved by considerations sordid,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A child can always "be afforded";
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The same applies to Belgian hares.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      These noble brutes, pure Duty's pendants,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      May live to see their blood vermilion
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Coursing through something like a billion
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Wholly legitimate descendants.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Knowledge's path is hard and stony,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And some may read who unaware are
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      That rabbit brown and Belgian hare are
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Both members of the genus Coney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The common hare, who lives in fields
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And never goes into a hole,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      (In this inferior to the mole)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In all things to the Belgian yields.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He will, immoral brute, decline
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To multiply domestic "pledges,"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The family he rears in hedges
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Is often limited to nine.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Such shocking want of <i>savoir faire</i>,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      (Surely a symptom of insanity)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Might goad a Bishop to profanity
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Were it not for the Belgian hare.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      SONG FOR VINTNERS
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>HE Lion laps the
+      limpid lake,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The Pard refuses wine,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The sinuous Lizard and the Snake,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The petulant Porcupine,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Agree in this, their thirst to quench
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Only with Nature's natural "drench."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In vain with beer you tempt the Deer,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Or lure the Marmozet;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The early morning Chanticleer,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The painted Parroquet,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Alike, on claret and champagne
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Gaze with unfaltering disdain.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      No ale or spirit tempts the Ferret,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      No juice of grape the Toad.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0005" id="linkimage-0005"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/022m.jpg" alt="022m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/022.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      In vain towards the "Harp and Merit"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The patient Ox you goad;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Not his in rapture to extol
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The praises of the flowing bowl.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The silent Spider laughs at cider,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The Horse despises port;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Crocodile (whose mouth is wider
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Than any other sort)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Prefers the waters of the Nile
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To any of a stronger style.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Rabbit knows no "private bar,"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The Pelican will wander
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Through arid plains of Kandahar,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Nor ever pause to ponder
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Whether in that infernal clime
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The clocks converge to "closing time."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      True "bona-fide traveller"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Urging no sophist plea,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      How terrible must seem to her
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Man's inebriety;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      She who in thirsty moments places
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Her simple trust in green oases.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      With what calm scorn the Unicorn,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      In his remote retreat,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Must contemplate the fervour born
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Of old "Château Lafitte."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Conceive the feelings of the Sphinx
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Confronted with Columbian drinks!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And oh! if all this solemn truth
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Were dinned into its mind
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      From earliest years, might not our youth
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Regenerate mankind,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Aspire to climb the Heights, and dare
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To emulate the Belgian hare?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      HYMN FOR HUMBLE PEOPLE
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>HE staunch and
+      strenuous Serpent spends his time
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      In the safe field of serpentine pursuits,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Rightly considering it a social crime
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To parody the ways of other brutes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Scorning the fraud of alien aspirations,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The snobbishness that apes another class,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Proud, and yet conscious of his limitations,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      He bites the dust and grovels in the grass.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The moral food that keeps him down is Force,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Force to confine his fancies to their beds.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0006" id="linkimage-0006"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/028m.jpg" alt="028m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/028.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      Makes him the laughing-stock of quadrupeds.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      No weak attempt to carol like the Lark,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Fore-doomed to failure and to ridicule,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Troubles his life; he does not wish to bark,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Has no desire to amble like a Mule.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Having no legs he does not try to walk,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      But keeps contentedly his native crawl;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Having no voice he does not strive to talk,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Much less to bellow or to caterwaul.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mark the inevitably reached result:
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To balance the advantages he missed,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In three departments he may yet exult
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To be the only perfect specialist.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Three arts are his: to writhe, to hiss, to creep.
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The Toad's tenacity, the Wombat's wiles,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Or the keen cunning of the crafty Sheep
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      (And all are artists in their various styles),
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Would vainly challenge them. He reigns supreme
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      In these the fields of his activity,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And reigning so defies the envious Bream,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Who sneers and shrugs and sniggers in the sea.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Type of the wise, who roar but never foam
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      (If they can help it) at the mouth, except
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      When night and morn they brush their teeth at home
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      With pallid powder for that purpose kept.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      VERSICLES FOR VEGETARIANS
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">S</span>INCE Dr. Watts in
+      frenzy fine
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Extolled the "busy Bee,"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The patience of the Porcupine,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The Newt's fidelity,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The calm contentment of the Pike,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Have stirred our hearts and brain alike.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Lives there a man so lost, so low,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      That he has never found
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Some lesson in the Buffalo,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Some precept in the Hound?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Few who have won Victoria's cross
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Owe <i>nothing</i> to the Albatross.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      These pleasant thoughts must turn our minds,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      In meditation quiet,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Towards the moral law that binds
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The principles of diet.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Since 'tis a maxim none disputes,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      That we should imitate the brutes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      As has been shown in former verse,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The animal creation
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Does not in its own nature nurse
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Inebriate inclination;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Nor is it formed by Heaven to pant
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      For alcoholic stimulant.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      That being so, our path is plain,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      We must eschew all drinks;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      If we are anxious to attain
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To the celestial brinks,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The meanest Hippopotamus
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Will make our duty clear to us.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But in the search for Natural guides
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To moral food-restrictions,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      We are assaulted on all sides
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      By patent contradictions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Thus, while the Lion lives on meat,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Pheasant is content with wheat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Who then, when beasts do not agree,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Shall venture to decide?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0007" id="linkimage-0007"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/033m.jpg" alt="033m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/033.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      Some will adopt the Chimpanzee
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0008" id="linkimage-0008"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/034m.jpg" alt="034m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/034.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And some the Fox as guide,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Others the Bear or Antelope,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Nature allows the fullest scope.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      HYMN FOR HOWLERS
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">W</span>HO that has sailed
+      upon the ocean's face,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Or walked beside the sea along the sand,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Has not felt envy for the piscine race,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Comparing its domain, where noise is banned,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To the infernal racket that takes place
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      On land?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      While up above the billows rage and roar
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And make a most unnecessary noise,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And shallow Shrimps, who live too near the shore,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Are harassed by the shouts of girls and boys,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Who find the beach a place convenient for
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Their toys,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The happy members of the Fishy clan
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Pursue in peace their various pursuits,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      All undisturbed by bell of muffin-man,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Or bellow of purveyor of fresh fruits,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Who at each "Pub" his voice republican
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Recruits.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The harmless Herring gambols with his young,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And heeds but hears not their impulsive play.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      (His heart is with their mother who was flung,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Kippered to feed a clerk's bank-holiday,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Into the salting-tub and passed unsung
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Away.)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Now, had this Herring been of human breed,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And lived in London or some other town,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Fate would have made him <i>hear</i> as well as heed
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      His offspring as it gambolled up and down,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0009" id="linkimage-0009"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/037m.jpg" alt="037m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/037.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      Making a noise that's very hard indeed
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To drown.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Moreover, organ-grinders would have ground,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And yowls from both "employed" and "unemployed";
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Hoarse howls from those who had "salvation" found,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And bawls from those whose faith had been destroyed,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Would have combined to keep his sense of sound
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Annoyed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Who would not therefore rather be a Whale,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A Hake, a Haddock, or a Mackerel,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Than linger in this sad uncertain vale
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      (Here where men sit and hear each other yell)?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Better to go, if other places fail,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To &mdash;&mdash;&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0007" id="link2H_4_0007"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      DIRGE FOR DEFEATED CANDIDATES
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>HE dreadful Dragon
+      and the Unicorn,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Accustomed to be treated with respect,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And much annoyed by present-day neglect,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Have sometimes wished they never had been born,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      At least in any world so "unselect."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Their non-existence being now a "fact"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Accepted by mankind's majority,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      They naturally feel quite "up a tree."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      They don't know what to do to counteract
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      These damned delusions of Democracy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Although they often walk out in the sun,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And show themselves in all important streets,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Although in fact they have their "regular beats,"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      They're hardly ever seen by any one,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And get no notice in the "daily sheets."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Although as signs they hang on various inns,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      They find themselves irrevocably "out."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0010" id="linkimage-0010"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/040m.jpg" alt="040m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/040.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      In vain they prance and caracole about,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Even the tribute of "derisive grins"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Is now denied them in their final rout.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mere non-belief in his existence may
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Seem, to one emptying a festive flagon
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      In the interior of the "Wasp and Wagon,"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A very trifling matter any way.
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      But it is most annoying to the Dragon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The subject may appear beneath contempt
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To one who holds the world's applause in scorn,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Preferring in a cloister to adorn
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Illumined scrolls in heavenly colours dreamt,"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      But it is galling to the Unicorn.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0008" id="link2H_4_0008"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      POEM FOR THE PROUD
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">S</span>EEN in the mirror
+      of the poet's dream,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      (Exclusively reserved for the "elect"),
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Each animal supplies us with a theme
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      For wondering-admiration and respect.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Thus, to those men who truly modest seem
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Compare
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Hare.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Bee performs all sorts of useful things
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      When she is gathering honey for the hive,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      She fertilises flowers and plants, and brings
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Food to keep necessary Drones alive.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Unless annoyed she very seldom stings,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Dear me!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Bee.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Dove extols and cherishes his mate,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And coos and woos all through the summer day.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      H is life is blamelessly immaculate,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And though his wings enable him to stray,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He seldom does. He never comes home late.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      By Jove!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Dove.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Crow displays a splendid scorn of pelf,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Backed by invulnerable self-restraint.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      All specious arts he lays upon the shelf,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And, being free from every primal taint,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He keeps himself entirely to himself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0011" id="linkimage-0011"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/044m.jpg" alt="044m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/044.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      Bravo
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Crow!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Stork <i>compels</i> our admiration, he
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Will stand for several hours in the same place
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And on one leg, instead of two (or three),
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Thus practising economy of space.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A grand example of stability!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Oh Lork!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Stork.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The self-repressive Cod, on his own beat,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Swims in elaborately-studied curves.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He keeps below, not wishing to compete
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      With surface-swimming fishes, though his nerves
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Are sometimes tried by lack of air, and heat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Good God!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Cod.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      SONG FOR SIDLERS
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>HE Crab walks
+      sideways, not because his build
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Precludes the possibility of walking straight,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And not (as some have thought) that he is filled
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      With strange and lawless theories on gait;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Still less that he is foolishly self-willed
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And prone to show off or exaggerate.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      No serious student of his life and ways
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Will venture to impugn his common sense;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      His tact and moderation win high praise
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Even from those whose faculties are dense
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And blind to the false issues which they raise
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      When they accuse him of malevolence.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "But, ah!" these shallow hide-bound pedants cry,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      "If to the Crab all virtues you concede,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      If his intentions are not evil, why
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      This sidelong walk,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0012" id="linkimage-0012"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/047m.jpg" alt="047m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/047.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      These flanking steps that lead
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To no advancement of Humanity,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      No exaltation of the mortal breed?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Why not go forward as the Sword-fish goes?
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Or move straight backward, like the jibbing Horse
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Why this absurd and pitiable pose
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      That takes delight in any devious course?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Why this dislike to 'following the nose'
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Which all the best authorities endorse?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Insensate fools. Swims not the Cod in curves?
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Does not the running Roebuck leap and bound
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      If in his flight the Capercailzie swerves,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Shall he be mocked by every Basset-hound
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Who, having neither feathers, wings, nor nerves,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Has not the pluck to rise up from the ground?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Peace, peace, the Crab adopts a side-long walk,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      For reasons still impossible to see.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And if his pride permitted him to talk
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To any one who did not do as he,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      His instinct would be, probably, to balk
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The hopes of vulgar curiosity.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And while the schoolmen argue and discuss,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And fill the air with "whats," and "whens," and "whys,"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And demonstrate as: thus, and thus, and thus,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The crab will pulverise their theories,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And put an end to all this foolish fuss
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      By walking sideways into Paradise.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0010" id="link2H_4_0010"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      FRAGMENT FOR PHILOSOPHERS
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">I</span>N the abysses of
+      the ocean deeps,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Fathoms removed from men and mortal strife,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0013" id="linkimage-0013"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/050m.jpg" alt="050m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/050.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      The unexpectant Oyster smiles and sleeps
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Through the calm cycle of his peaceful life.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      What though above his head the steamboat plies,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And close at hand he hears the fume and fuss
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Of the impetuous Halibut that flies
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The mad embraces of the Octopus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Though the fierce tails of Whales like flails descend
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Upon the water lashed to furious foam,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And the Sea-serpents writhe and twist and bend
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      All round the purlieus of his ocean home,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He still preserves his philosophic calm,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      His high detachment from material things,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And lays to his untroubled soul the balm
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Of that contentment oft denied to kings.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Not far off, on the shore, men fume and fret,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And prowl and howl and postulate and preach,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Baby bellows in the bassinet,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And the Salvation Army on the beach.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The unsuccessful "Artist" of the "Halls"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Has blacked his face with cork, and now he sings
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Of moons and coons and comic funerals
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0014" id="linkimage-0014"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/052m.jpg" alt="052m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/052.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And the enchantment that the cake-walk brings.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And on the pier the "milingtary band"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Poisons the air with beastly brazen sound,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      While cockney couples wander hand in hand,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0015" id="linkimage-0015"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/053m.jpg" alt="053m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/053.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And dismal tourists tour,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0016" id="linkimage-0016"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/054m.jpg" alt="054m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/054.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      And bounders bound.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And donkey-boys allure to donkey rides
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The sitters on the sand beside the sea,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And touts sell "guides" to all the town provides,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      From theatres to "painless dentistry."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To all this noise the Oyster lends no ear,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Partly because he has no ear to lend,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Partly because he hates to interfere,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Chiefly because these rhymes must have an end.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0017" id="linkimage-0017"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:15%;">
+      <img src="images/056m.jpg" alt="056m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/056.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <div style="height: 6em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+
+<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 45292 ***</div>
+  </body>
+</html>
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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #45292 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/45292)
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Placid Pug and Other Rhymes, by 
+(AKA The Belgian Hare) Alfred Douglas
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Placid Pug and Other Rhymes
+
+Author: (AKA The Belgian Hare) Alfred Douglas
+
+Illustrator: P. P.
+
+Release Date: April 1, 2014 [EBook #45292]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PLACID PUG AND OTHER RHYMES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger from page images generously
+provided by The Internet Archive
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+THE PLACID PUG AND OTHER RHYMES
+
+By (The Belgian Hare) Lord Alfred Douglas
+
+Author of "Tails with a twist" and "The Duke of Berwick"
+
+Illustrated by P. P.
+
+1906
+
+
+[Illustration: 008]
+
+[Illustration: 010]
+
+
+
+
+THE PLACID PUG
+
+
+|THE placid Pug that paces in the Park,
+
+`Harnessed in silk and led by leathern lead,
+
+Lives his dull life, and recks not of the Shark
+
+`In distant waters. Lapped in sloth and greed,
+
+He fails in strenuous life to make a mark,
+
+The placid Pug that paces in the park.=
+
+
+
+Round the slow circle of his nights and days
+
+`His life revolves in calm monotony.
+
+Not unsusceptible to casual praise,
+
+`And mildly moved by the approach of "tea,"
+
+No forked and jagged lightning leaps and plays
+
+Round the slow circle of his nights and days.=
+
+
+
+He scarcely turns his round protuberant eyes,
+
+`To mark the mood of animals or men.
+
+His joy is limited to mild surmise
+
+`When a new biscuit swims into his ken.
+
+And when athwart his gaze a Rabbit flies,
+
+He scarcely turns his round protuberant eyes.=
+
+
+
+And all the while the Shark in Southern seas
+
+[Illustration: 013]
+
+`Pursues the paths of his pulsating quest,
+
+Though the thermometer at fierce degrees
+
+`Might well admonish him to take a rest,
+
+The Pug at home snores in ignoble ease.
+
+(And all the while the Shark in Southern seas!)=
+
+
+
+If Pugs like Sharks were brought up in the sea
+
+`And forced to swim long miles to find their food,
+
+Tutored to front the Hake's hostility,
+
+`And beard the Lobster in his dangerous mood,
+
+Would not their lives more sane, more useful be,
+
+If Pugs like Sharks were brought up in the sea?=
+
+
+
+The placid Pug still paces in the park,
+
+`Untouched by thoughts of all that might have been.
+
+Undreaming that he might have "steered his bark"
+
+`Through many a stirring sight and stormy scene.
+
+But being born a Pug and not a Shark
+
+The placid Pug still paces in the park.=
+
+
+
+
+BALLAD FOR BISHOPS
+
+
+|BISHOPS and others who inhabit
+
+The mansions of the blest on earth,
+
+[Illustration: 015]
+
+Grieved by decline of infant birth,
+
+Have drawn attention to the rabbit.
+
+Not by design these good men work
+
+To raise that beast to heights contested,
+
+But by comparison, suggested,
+
+With those who procreation shirk.=
+
+
+
+For if a nation's moral status
+
+Be measured by prolific habit,
+
+Between man and the meanest rabbit
+
+There is an evident hiatus.=
+
+
+
+Each year, by lowest computations,
+
+Six times the rabbit rears her young,
+
+And frequent marriages among
+
+The very closest blood relations
+
+In very tender years ensure
+
+A constant stream of "little strangers,"
+
+Who, quickly grown to gallant rangers,
+
+See that their families endure.=
+
+
+
+Not theirs to shirk paternal cares,
+
+Moved by considerations sordid,
+
+A child can always "be afforded";
+
+The same applies to Belgian hares.=
+
+
+
+These noble brutes, pure Duty's pendants,
+
+May live to see their blood vermilion
+
+Coursing through something like a billion
+
+Wholly legitimate descendants.=
+
+
+
+Knowledge's path is hard and stony,
+
+And some may read who unaware are
+
+That rabbit brown and Belgian hare are
+
+Both members of the genus Coney.=
+
+
+
+The common hare, who lives in fields
+
+And never goes into a hole,
+
+(In this inferior to the mole)
+
+In all things to the Belgian yields.=
+
+
+
+He will, immoral brute, decline
+
+To multiply domestic "pledges,"
+
+The family he rears in hedges
+
+Is often limited to nine.=
+
+
+
+Such shocking want of _savoir faire_,
+
+(Surely a symptom of insanity)
+
+Might goad a Bishop to profanity
+
+Were it not for the Belgian hare.=
+
+
+
+
+SONG FOR VINTNERS
+
+
+|THE Lion laps the limpid lake,
+
+`The Pard refuses wine,
+
+The sinuous Lizard and the Snake,
+
+`The petulant Porcupine,
+
+Agree in this, their thirst to quench
+
+Only with Nature's natural "drench."=
+
+
+
+In vain with beer you tempt the Deer,
+
+`Or lure the Marmozet;
+
+The early morning Chanticleer,
+
+`The painted Parroquet,
+
+Alike, on claret and champagne
+
+Gaze with unfaltering disdain.=
+
+
+
+No ale or spirit tempts the Ferret,
+
+`No juice of grape the Toad.
+
+[Illustration: 022]
+
+In vain towards the "Harp and Merit"
+
+`The patient Ox you goad;
+
+Not his in rapture to extol
+
+The praises of the flowing bowl.=
+
+
+
+The silent Spider laughs at cider,
+
+`The Horse despises port;
+
+The Crocodile (whose mouth is wider
+
+`Than any other sort)
+
+Prefers the waters of the Nile
+
+To any of a stronger style.=
+
+
+
+The Rabbit knows no "private bar,"
+
+`The Pelican will wander
+
+Through arid plains of Kandahar,
+
+`Nor ever pause to ponder
+
+Whether in that infernal clime
+
+The clocks converge to "closing time."=
+
+
+
+True "bona-fide traveller"
+
+`Urging no sophist plea,
+
+How terrible must seem to her
+
+`Man's inebriety;
+
+She who in thirsty moments places
+
+Her simple trust in green oases.=
+
+
+
+With what calm scorn the Unicorn,
+
+`In his remote retreat,
+
+Must contemplate the fervour born
+
+`Of old "Château Lafitte."
+
+Conceive the feelings of the Sphinx
+
+Confronted with Columbian drinks!=
+
+
+
+And oh! if all this solemn truth
+
+`Were dinned into its mind
+
+From earliest years, might not our youth
+
+`Regenerate mankind,
+
+Aspire to climb the Heights, and dare
+
+To emulate the Belgian hare?=
+
+
+
+
+HYMN FOR HUMBLE PEOPLE
+
+
+|THE staunch and strenuous Serpent spends his time
+
+`In the safe field of serpentine pursuits,
+
+Rightly considering it a social crime
+
+`To parody the ways of other brutes.=
+
+
+
+Scorning the fraud of alien aspirations,
+
+`The snobbishness that apes another class,
+
+Proud, and yet conscious of his limitations,
+
+`He bites the dust and grovels in the grass.=
+
+
+
+The moral food that keeps him down is Force,
+
+`Force to confine his fancies to their beds.
+
+[Illustration: 028]
+
+Makes him the laughing-stock of quadrupeds.=
+
+
+
+No weak attempt to carol like the Lark,
+
+`Fore-doomed to failure and to ridicule,
+
+Troubles his life; he does not wish to bark,
+
+`Has no desire to amble like a Mule.=
+
+
+
+Having no legs he does not try to walk,
+
+`But keeps contentedly his native crawl;
+
+Having no voice he does not strive to talk,
+
+`Much less to bellow or to caterwaul.=
+
+
+
+Mark the inevitably reached result:
+
+`To balance the advantages he missed,
+
+In three departments he may yet exult
+
+`To be the only perfect specialist.=
+
+
+
+Three arts are his: to writhe, to hiss, to creep.
+
+`The Toad's tenacity, the Wombat's wiles,
+
+Or the keen cunning of the crafty Sheep
+
+`(And all are artists in their various styles),=
+
+
+
+Would vainly challenge them. He reigns supreme
+
+`In these the fields of his activity,
+
+And reigning so defies the envious Bream,
+
+`Who sneers and shrugs and sniggers in the sea.=
+
+
+
+Type of the wise, who roar but never foam
+
+`(If they can help it) at the mouth, except
+
+When night and morn they brush their teeth at home
+
+`With pallid powder for that purpose kept.=
+
+
+
+
+VERSICLES FOR VEGETARIANS
+
+
+|SINCE Dr. Watts in frenzy fine
+
+`Extolled the "busy Bee,"
+
+The patience of the Porcupine,
+
+`The Newt's fidelity,
+
+The calm contentment of the Pike,
+
+Have stirred our hearts and brain alike.=
+
+
+
+Lives there a man so lost, so low,
+
+`That he has never found
+
+Some lesson in the Buffalo,
+
+`Some precept in the Hound?
+
+Few who have won Victoria's cross
+
+Owe _nothing_ to the Albatross.=
+
+
+
+These pleasant thoughts must turn our minds,
+
+`In meditation quiet,
+
+Towards the moral law that binds
+
+`The principles of diet.
+
+Since 'tis a maxim none disputes,
+
+That we should imitate the brutes.=
+
+
+
+As has been shown in former verse,
+
+`The animal creation
+
+Does not in its own nature nurse
+
+`Inebriate inclination;
+
+Nor is it formed by Heaven to pant
+
+For alcoholic stimulant.=
+
+
+
+That being so, our path is plain,
+
+`We must eschew all drinks;
+
+If we are anxious to attain
+
+`To the celestial brinks,
+
+The meanest Hippopotamus
+
+Will make our duty clear to us.=
+
+
+
+But in the search for Natural guides
+
+`To moral food-restrictions,
+
+We are assaulted on all sides
+
+`By patent contradictions.
+
+Thus, while the Lion lives on meat,
+
+The Pheasant is content with wheat.=
+
+
+
+Who then, when beasts do not agree,
+
+`Shall venture to decide?
+
+[Illustration: 033]
+
+Some will adopt the Chimpanzee
+
+[Illustration: 034]
+
+`And some the Fox as guide,
+
+Others the Bear or Antelope,
+
+Nature allows the fullest scope.=
+
+
+
+
+HYMN FOR HOWLERS
+
+
+|WHO that has sailed upon the ocean's face,
+
+`Or walked beside the sea along the sand,
+
+Has not felt envy for the piscine race,
+
+Comparing its domain, where noise is banned,
+
+To the infernal racket that takes place
+
+On land?=
+
+
+
+While up above the billows rage and roar
+
+And make a most unnecessary noise,
+
+And shallow Shrimps, who live too near the shore,
+
+Are harassed by the shouts of girls and boys,
+
+Who find the beach a place convenient for
+
+Their toys,=
+
+
+
+The happy members of the Fishy clan
+
+Pursue in peace their various pursuits,
+
+All undisturbed by bell of muffin-man,
+
+Or bellow of purveyor of fresh fruits,
+
+Who at each "Pub" his voice republican
+
+Recruits.=
+
+
+
+The harmless Herring gambols with his young,
+
+And heeds but hears not their impulsive play.
+
+(His heart is with their mother who was flung,
+
+Kippered to feed a clerk's bank-holiday,
+
+Into the salting-tub and passed unsung
+
+Away.)=
+
+
+
+Now, had this Herring been of human breed,
+
+And lived in London or some other town,
+
+Fate would have made him _hear_ as well as heed
+
+His offspring as it gambolled up and down,
+
+[Illustration: 037]
+
+Making a noise that's very hard indeed
+
+To drown.=
+
+
+
+Moreover, organ-grinders would have ground,
+
+And yowls from both "employed" and "unemployed";
+
+Hoarse howls from those who had "salvation" found,
+
+And bawls from those whose faith had been destroyed,
+
+Would have combined to keep his sense of sound
+
+Annoyed.=
+
+
+
+Who would not therefore rather be a Whale,
+
+A Hake, a Haddock, or a Mackerel,
+
+Than linger in this sad uncertain vale
+
+(Here where men sit and hear each other yell)?
+
+Better to go, if other places fail,
+
+To ------
+
+
+
+
+DIRGE FOR DEFEATED CANDIDATES
+
+
+|THE dreadful Dragon and the Unicorn,
+
+`Accustomed to be treated with respect,
+
+`And much annoyed by present-day neglect,
+
+Have sometimes wished they never had been born,
+
+`At least in any world so "unselect."=
+
+
+
+Their non-existence being now a "fact"
+
+`Accepted by mankind's majority,
+
+`They naturally feel quite "up a tree."
+
+They don't know what to do to counteract
+
+`These damned delusions of Democracy.=
+
+
+
+Although they often walk out in the sun,
+
+`And show themselves in all important streets,
+
+`Although in fact they have their "regular beats,"
+
+They're hardly ever seen by any one,
+
+`And get no notice in the "daily sheets."=
+
+
+
+Although as signs they hang on various inns,
+
+`They find themselves irrevocably "out."=
+
+
+
+[Illustration: 040]
+
+In vain they prance and caracole about,
+
+Even the tribute of "derisive grins"
+
+`Is now denied them in their final rout.=
+
+
+
+Mere non-belief in his existence may
+
+`Seem, to one emptying a festive flagon
+
+`In the interior of the "Wasp and Wagon,"
+
+A very trifling matter any way.
+
+`But it is most annoying to the Dragon.=
+
+
+
+The subject may appear beneath contempt
+
+`To one who holds the world's applause in scorn,
+
+`Preferring in a cloister to adorn
+
+"Illumined scrolls in heavenly colours dreamt,"
+
+`But it is galling to the Unicorn.
+
+
+
+
+POEM FOR THE PROUD
+
+
+|SEEN in the mirror of the poet's dream,
+
+(Exclusively reserved for the "elect"),
+
+Each animal supplies us with a theme
+
+For wondering-admiration and respect.
+
+Thus, to those men who truly modest seem
+
+Compare
+
+The Hare.=
+
+
+
+The Bee performs all sorts of useful things
+
+When she is gathering honey for the hive,
+
+She fertilises flowers and plants, and brings
+
+Food to keep necessary Drones alive.
+
+Unless annoyed she very seldom stings,
+
+Dear me!
+
+The Bee.=
+
+
+
+The Dove extols and cherishes his mate,
+
+And coos and woos all through the summer day.
+
+H is life is blamelessly immaculate,
+
+And though his wings enable him to stray,
+
+He seldom does. He never comes home late.
+
+By Jove!
+
+The Dove.=
+
+
+
+The Crow displays a splendid scorn of pelf,
+
+Backed by invulnerable self-restraint.
+
+All specious arts he lays upon the shelf,
+
+And, being free from every primal taint,
+
+He keeps himself entirely to himself.
+
+[Illustration: 044]
+
+Bravo
+
+The Crow!=
+
+
+
+The Stork _compels_ our admiration, he
+
+Will stand for several hours in the same place
+
+And on one leg, instead of two (or three),
+
+Thus practising economy of space.
+
+A grand example of stability!
+
+Oh Lork!
+
+The Stork.=
+
+
+
+The self-repressive Cod, on his own beat,
+
+Swims in elaborately-studied curves.
+
+He keeps below, not wishing to compete
+
+With surface-swimming fishes, though his nerves
+
+Are sometimes tried by lack of air, and heat.
+
+Good God!
+
+The Cod.=
+
+
+
+
+SONG FOR SIDLERS
+
+
+|THE Crab walks sideways, not because his build
+
+`Precludes the possibility of walking straight,
+
+And not (as some have thought) that he is filled
+
+`With strange and lawless theories on gait;
+
+Still less that he is foolishly self-willed
+
+`And prone to show off or exaggerate.=
+
+
+
+No serious student of his life and ways
+
+`Will venture to impugn his common sense;
+
+His tact and moderation win high praise
+
+`Even from those whose faculties are dense
+
+And blind to the false issues which they raise
+
+`When they accuse him of malevolence.=
+
+
+
+"But, ah!" these shallow hide-bound pedants cry,
+
+`"If to the Crab all virtues you concede,
+
+If his intentions are not evil, why
+
+`This sidelong walk,
+
+[Illustration: 047]
+
+`These flanking steps that lead
+
+To no advancement of Humanity,
+
+`No exaltation of the mortal breed?=
+
+
+
+"Why not go forward as the Sword-fish goes?
+
+`Or move straight backward, like the jibbing Horse
+
+Why this absurd and pitiable pose
+
+`That takes delight in any devious course?
+
+Why this dislike to 'following the nose'
+
+`Which all the best authorities endorse?"=
+
+
+
+Insensate fools. Swims not the Cod in curves?
+
+`Does not the running Roebuck leap and bound
+
+If in his flight the Capercailzie swerves,
+
+`Shall he be mocked by every Basset-hound
+
+Who, having neither feathers, wings, nor nerves,
+
+`Has not the pluck to rise up from the ground?=
+
+
+
+Peace, peace, the Crab adopts a side-long walk,
+
+`For reasons still impossible to see.
+
+And if his pride permitted him to talk
+
+`To any one who did not do as he,
+
+His instinct would be, probably, to balk
+
+`The hopes of vulgar curiosity.=
+
+
+
+And while the schoolmen argue and discuss,
+
+`And fill the air with "whats," and "whens," and "whys,"
+
+And demonstrate as: thus, and thus, and thus,
+
+`The crab will pulverise their theories,
+
+And put an end to all this foolish fuss
+
+`By walking sideways into Paradise.
+
+
+
+
+FRAGMENT FOR PHILOSOPHERS
+
+
+|IN the abysses of the ocean deeps,
+
+`Fathoms removed from men and mortal strife,
+
+[Illustration: 050]
+
+The unexpectant Oyster smiles and sleeps
+
+`Through the calm cycle of his peaceful life.=
+
+
+
+What though above his head the steamboat plies,
+
+`And close at hand he hears the fume and fuss
+
+Of the impetuous Halibut that flies
+
+`The mad embraces of the Octopus.=
+
+
+
+Though the fierce tails of Whales like flails descend
+
+`Upon the water lashed to furious foam,
+
+And the Sea-serpents writhe and twist and bend
+
+`All round the purlieus of his ocean home,=
+
+
+
+He still preserves his philosophic calm,
+
+`His high detachment from material things,
+
+And lays to his untroubled soul the balm
+
+`Of that contentment oft denied to kings.=
+
+
+
+Not far off, on the shore, men fume and fret,
+
+`And prowl and howl and postulate and preach,
+
+The Baby bellows in the bassinet,
+
+`And the Salvation Army on the beach.=
+
+
+
+The unsuccessful "Artist" of the "Halls"
+
+`Has blacked his face with cork, and now he sings
+
+Of moons and coons and comic funerals
+
+[Illustration: 052]
+
+`And the enchantment that the cake-walk brings.=
+
+
+
+And on the pier the "milingtary band"
+
+`Poisons the air with beastly brazen sound,
+
+While cockney couples wander hand in hand,
+
+[Illustration: 053]
+
+`And dismal tourists tour,
+
+[Illustration: 054]
+
+And bounders bound.=
+
+
+
+And donkey-boys allure to donkey rides
+
+`The sitters on the sand beside the sea,
+
+And touts sell "guides" to all the town provides,
+
+`From theatres to "painless dentistry."=
+
+
+
+To all this noise the Oyster lends no ear,
+
+`Partly because he has no ear to lend,
+
+Partly because he hates to interfere,
+
+`Chiefly because these rhymes must have an end.=
+
+
+
+[Illustration: 056]
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Placid Pug and Other Rhymes, by 
+(AKA The Belgian Hare) Alfred Douglas
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PLACID PUG AND OTHER RHYMES ***
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+<?xml version="1.0" encoding="iso-8859-1"?>
+
+<!DOCTYPE html
+   PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN"
+   "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" >
+
+<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en">
+  <head>
+    <title>
+      The Placid Pug and Other Rhymes, by (the Belgian Hare) Lord Alfred Douglas
+    </title>
+<link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" />
+    <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve">
+
+    body { margin:15%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify}
+    P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; }
+    H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; }
+    hr  { width: 50%; text-align: center;}
+    .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; }
+    blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;}
+    .mynote    {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;}
+    .toc       { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;}
+    .toc2      { margin-left: 20%;}
+    .indent5   { margin-left: 5%;}
+    .indent10  { margin-left: 10%;}
+    div.fig    { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; }
+    div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; }
+    .figleft   {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;}
+    .figright  {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;}
+    .pagenum   {display:inline; font-size: 100%; font-style:normal;
+               margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%;
+               text-align: right;}
+    .side      { float: left; font-size: 75%; width: 25%; padding-left: 0.8em;
+               border-left: dashed thin; text-align: left;
+               text-indent: 0; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;
+               font-weight: bold; color: black; background: #eeeeee; border: solid 1px;}
+    p.pfirst, p.noindent {text-indent: 0}
+    span.dropcap         { float: left; margin: 0 0.1em 0 0; line-height: 1 }
+    pre        { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;}
+
+</style>
+  </head>
+  <body>
+
+
+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Placid Pug and Other Rhymes, by 
+(AKA The Belgian Hare) Alfred Douglas
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Placid Pug and Other Rhymes
+
+Author: (AKA The Belgian Hare) Alfred Douglas
+
+Illustrator: P. P.
+
+Release Date: April 1, 2014 [EBook #45292]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PLACID PUG AND OTHER RHYMES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger from page images generously
+provided by The Internet Archive
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+    <div style="height: 8em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h1>
+      THE PLACID PUG
+</h1>
+<h3>AND OTHER RHYMES
+</h3>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      By (The Belgian Hare) Lord Alfred Douglas
+    </h2>
+    <h4>
+      Author of "Tails with a twist" and "The Duke of Berwick"
+    </h4>
+    <h3>
+      Illustrated by P. P.
+    </h3>
+    <h5>
+      1906
+    </h5>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0001" id="linkimage-0001"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/008m.jpg" alt="008m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/008.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0002" id="linkimage-0002"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/010m.jpg" alt="010m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/010.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <b>CONTENTS</b>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> THE PLACID PUG </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> BALLAD FOR BISHOPS </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> SONG FOR VINTNERS </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> HYMN FOR HUMBLE PEOPLE </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> VERSICLES FOR VEGETARIANS </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> HYMN FOR HOWLERS </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0007"> DIRGE FOR DEFEATED CANDIDATES </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0008"> POEM FOR THE PROUD </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0009"> SONG FOR SIDLERS </a>
+    </p>
+    <p class="toc">
+      <a href="#link2H_4_0010"> FRAGMENT FOR PHILOSOPHERS </a>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      THE PLACID PUG
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>HE placid Pug that
+      paces in the Park,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Harnessed in silk and led by leathern lead,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Lives his dull life, and recks not of the Shark
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      In distant waters. Lapped in sloth and greed,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He fails in strenuous life to make a mark,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The placid Pug that paces in the park.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Round the slow circle of his nights and days
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      His life revolves in calm monotony.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Not unsusceptible to casual praise,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And mildly moved by the approach of "tea,"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      No forked and jagged lightning leaps and plays
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Round the slow circle of his nights and days.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He scarcely turns his round protuberant eyes,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To mark the mood of animals or men.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      His joy is limited to mild surmise
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      When a new biscuit swims into his ken.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And when athwart his gaze a Rabbit flies,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He scarcely turns his round protuberant eyes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And all the while the Shark in Southern seas
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0003" id="linkimage-0003"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/013m.jpg" alt="013m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/013.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Pursues the paths of his pulsating quest,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Though the thermometer at fierce degrees
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Might well admonish him to take a rest,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Pug at home snores in ignoble ease.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      (And all the while the Shark in Southern seas!)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      If Pugs like Sharks were brought up in the sea
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And forced to swim long miles to find their food,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Tutored to front the Hake's hostility,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And beard the Lobster in his dangerous mood,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Would not their lives more sane, more useful be,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      If Pugs like Sharks were brought up in the sea?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The placid Pug still paces in the park,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Untouched by thoughts of all that might have been.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Undreaming that he might have "steered his bark"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Through many a stirring sight and stormy scene.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But being born a Pug and not a Shark
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The placid Pug still paces in the park.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      BALLAD FOR BISHOPS
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">B</span>ISHOPS and others
+      who inhabit
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The mansions of the blest on earth,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0004" id="linkimage-0004"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/015m.jpg" alt="015m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/015.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      Grieved by decline of infant birth,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Have drawn attention to the rabbit.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Not by design these good men work
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To raise that beast to heights contested,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But by comparison, suggested,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      With those who procreation shirk.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      For if a nation's moral status
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Be measured by prolific habit,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Between man and the meanest rabbit
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      There is an evident hiatus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Each year, by lowest computations,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Six times the rabbit rears her young,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And frequent marriages among
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The very closest blood relations
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In very tender years ensure
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A constant stream of "little strangers,"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Who, quickly grown to gallant rangers,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      See that their families endure.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Not theirs to shirk paternal cares,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Moved by considerations sordid,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A child can always "be afforded";
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The same applies to Belgian hares.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      These noble brutes, pure Duty's pendants,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      May live to see their blood vermilion
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Coursing through something like a billion
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Wholly legitimate descendants.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Knowledge's path is hard and stony,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And some may read who unaware are
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      That rabbit brown and Belgian hare are
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Both members of the genus Coney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The common hare, who lives in fields
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And never goes into a hole,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      (In this inferior to the mole)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In all things to the Belgian yields.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He will, immoral brute, decline
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To multiply domestic "pledges,"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The family he rears in hedges
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Is often limited to nine.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Such shocking want of <i>savoir faire</i>,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      (Surely a symptom of insanity)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Might goad a Bishop to profanity
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Were it not for the Belgian hare.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      SONG FOR VINTNERS
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>HE Lion laps the
+      limpid lake,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The Pard refuses wine,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The sinuous Lizard and the Snake,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The petulant Porcupine,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Agree in this, their thirst to quench
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Only with Nature's natural "drench."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In vain with beer you tempt the Deer,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Or lure the Marmozet;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The early morning Chanticleer,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The painted Parroquet,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Alike, on claret and champagne
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Gaze with unfaltering disdain.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      No ale or spirit tempts the Ferret,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      No juice of grape the Toad.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0005" id="linkimage-0005"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/022m.jpg" alt="022m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/022.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      In vain towards the "Harp and Merit"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The patient Ox you goad;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Not his in rapture to extol
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The praises of the flowing bowl.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The silent Spider laughs at cider,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The Horse despises port;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Crocodile (whose mouth is wider
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Than any other sort)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Prefers the waters of the Nile
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To any of a stronger style.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Rabbit knows no "private bar,"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The Pelican will wander
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Through arid plains of Kandahar,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Nor ever pause to ponder
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Whether in that infernal clime
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The clocks converge to "closing time."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      True "bona-fide traveller"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Urging no sophist plea,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      How terrible must seem to her
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Man's inebriety;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      She who in thirsty moments places
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Her simple trust in green oases.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      With what calm scorn the Unicorn,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      In his remote retreat,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Must contemplate the fervour born
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Of old "Château Lafitte."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Conceive the feelings of the Sphinx
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Confronted with Columbian drinks!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And oh! if all this solemn truth
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Were dinned into its mind
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      From earliest years, might not our youth
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Regenerate mankind,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Aspire to climb the Heights, and dare
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To emulate the Belgian hare?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      HYMN FOR HUMBLE PEOPLE
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>HE staunch and
+      strenuous Serpent spends his time
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      In the safe field of serpentine pursuits,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Rightly considering it a social crime
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To parody the ways of other brutes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Scorning the fraud of alien aspirations,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The snobbishness that apes another class,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Proud, and yet conscious of his limitations,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      He bites the dust and grovels in the grass.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The moral food that keeps him down is Force,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Force to confine his fancies to their beds.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0006" id="linkimage-0006"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/028m.jpg" alt="028m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/028.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      Makes him the laughing-stock of quadrupeds.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      No weak attempt to carol like the Lark,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Fore-doomed to failure and to ridicule,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Troubles his life; he does not wish to bark,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Has no desire to amble like a Mule.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Having no legs he does not try to walk,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      But keeps contentedly his native crawl;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Having no voice he does not strive to talk,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Much less to bellow or to caterwaul.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mark the inevitably reached result:
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To balance the advantages he missed,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In three departments he may yet exult
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To be the only perfect specialist.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Three arts are his: to writhe, to hiss, to creep.
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The Toad's tenacity, the Wombat's wiles,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Or the keen cunning of the crafty Sheep
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      (And all are artists in their various styles),
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Would vainly challenge them. He reigns supreme
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      In these the fields of his activity,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And reigning so defies the envious Bream,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Who sneers and shrugs and sniggers in the sea.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Type of the wise, who roar but never foam
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      (If they can help it) at the mouth, except
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      When night and morn they brush their teeth at home
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      With pallid powder for that purpose kept.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      VERSICLES FOR VEGETARIANS
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">S</span>INCE Dr. Watts in
+      frenzy fine
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Extolled the "busy Bee,"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The patience of the Porcupine,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The Newt's fidelity,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The calm contentment of the Pike,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Have stirred our hearts and brain alike.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Lives there a man so lost, so low,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      That he has never found
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Some lesson in the Buffalo,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Some precept in the Hound?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Few who have won Victoria's cross
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Owe <i>nothing</i> to the Albatross.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      These pleasant thoughts must turn our minds,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      In meditation quiet,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Towards the moral law that binds
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The principles of diet.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Since 'tis a maxim none disputes,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      That we should imitate the brutes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      As has been shown in former verse,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The animal creation
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Does not in its own nature nurse
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Inebriate inclination;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Nor is it formed by Heaven to pant
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      For alcoholic stimulant.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      That being so, our path is plain,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      We must eschew all drinks;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      If we are anxious to attain
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To the celestial brinks,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The meanest Hippopotamus
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Will make our duty clear to us.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But in the search for Natural guides
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To moral food-restrictions,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      We are assaulted on all sides
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      By patent contradictions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Thus, while the Lion lives on meat,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Pheasant is content with wheat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Who then, when beasts do not agree,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Shall venture to decide?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0007" id="linkimage-0007"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/033m.jpg" alt="033m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/033.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      Some will adopt the Chimpanzee
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0008" id="linkimage-0008"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/034m.jpg" alt="034m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/034.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And some the Fox as guide,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Others the Bear or Antelope,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Nature allows the fullest scope.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      HYMN FOR HOWLERS
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">W</span>HO that has sailed
+      upon the ocean's face,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Or walked beside the sea along the sand,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Has not felt envy for the piscine race,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Comparing its domain, where noise is banned,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To the infernal racket that takes place
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      On land?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      While up above the billows rage and roar
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And make a most unnecessary noise,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And shallow Shrimps, who live too near the shore,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Are harassed by the shouts of girls and boys,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Who find the beach a place convenient for
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Their toys,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The happy members of the Fishy clan
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Pursue in peace their various pursuits,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      All undisturbed by bell of muffin-man,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Or bellow of purveyor of fresh fruits,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Who at each "Pub" his voice republican
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Recruits.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The harmless Herring gambols with his young,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And heeds but hears not their impulsive play.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      (His heart is with their mother who was flung,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Kippered to feed a clerk's bank-holiday,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Into the salting-tub and passed unsung
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Away.)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Now, had this Herring been of human breed,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And lived in London or some other town,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Fate would have made him <i>hear</i> as well as heed
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      His offspring as it gambolled up and down,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0009" id="linkimage-0009"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/037m.jpg" alt="037m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/037.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      Making a noise that's very hard indeed
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To drown.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Moreover, organ-grinders would have ground,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And yowls from both "employed" and "unemployed";
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Hoarse howls from those who had "salvation" found,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And bawls from those whose faith had been destroyed,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Would have combined to keep his sense of sound
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Annoyed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Who would not therefore rather be a Whale,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A Hake, a Haddock, or a Mackerel,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Than linger in this sad uncertain vale
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      (Here where men sit and hear each other yell)?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Better to go, if other places fail,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To &mdash;&mdash;&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0007" id="link2H_4_0007"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      DIRGE FOR DEFEATED CANDIDATES
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>HE dreadful Dragon
+      and the Unicorn,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Accustomed to be treated with respect,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And much annoyed by present-day neglect,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Have sometimes wished they never had been born,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      At least in any world so "unselect."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Their non-existence being now a "fact"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Accepted by mankind's majority,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      They naturally feel quite "up a tree."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      They don't know what to do to counteract
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      These damned delusions of Democracy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Although they often walk out in the sun,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And show themselves in all important streets,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Although in fact they have their "regular beats,"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      They're hardly ever seen by any one,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And get no notice in the "daily sheets."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Although as signs they hang on various inns,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      They find themselves irrevocably "out."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0010" id="linkimage-0010"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/040m.jpg" alt="040m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/040.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      In vain they prance and caracole about,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Even the tribute of "derisive grins"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Is now denied them in their final rout.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mere non-belief in his existence may
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Seem, to one emptying a festive flagon
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      In the interior of the "Wasp and Wagon,"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A very trifling matter any way.
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      But it is most annoying to the Dragon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The subject may appear beneath contempt
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To one who holds the world's applause in scorn,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Preferring in a cloister to adorn
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Illumined scrolls in heavenly colours dreamt,"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      But it is galling to the Unicorn.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0008" id="link2H_4_0008"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      POEM FOR THE PROUD
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">S</span>EEN in the mirror
+      of the poet's dream,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      (Exclusively reserved for the "elect"),
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Each animal supplies us with a theme
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      For wondering-admiration and respect.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Thus, to those men who truly modest seem
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Compare
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Hare.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Bee performs all sorts of useful things
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      When she is gathering honey for the hive,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      She fertilises flowers and plants, and brings
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Food to keep necessary Drones alive.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Unless annoyed she very seldom stings,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Dear me!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Bee.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Dove extols and cherishes his mate,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And coos and woos all through the summer day.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      H is life is blamelessly immaculate,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And though his wings enable him to stray,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He seldom does. He never comes home late.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      By Jove!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Dove.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Crow displays a splendid scorn of pelf,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Backed by invulnerable self-restraint.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      All specious arts he lays upon the shelf,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And, being free from every primal taint,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He keeps himself entirely to himself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0011" id="linkimage-0011"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/044m.jpg" alt="044m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/044.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      Bravo
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Crow!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Stork <i>compels</i> our admiration, he
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Will stand for several hours in the same place
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And on one leg, instead of two (or three),
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Thus practising economy of space.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A grand example of stability!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Oh Lork!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Stork.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The self-repressive Cod, on his own beat,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Swims in elaborately-studied curves.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He keeps below, not wishing to compete
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      With surface-swimming fishes, though his nerves
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Are sometimes tried by lack of air, and heat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Good God!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Cod.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      SONG FOR SIDLERS
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>HE Crab walks
+      sideways, not because his build
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Precludes the possibility of walking straight,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And not (as some have thought) that he is filled
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      With strange and lawless theories on gait;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Still less that he is foolishly self-willed
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And prone to show off or exaggerate.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      No serious student of his life and ways
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Will venture to impugn his common sense;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      His tact and moderation win high praise
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Even from those whose faculties are dense
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And blind to the false issues which they raise
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      When they accuse him of malevolence.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "But, ah!" these shallow hide-bound pedants cry,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      "If to the Crab all virtues you concede,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      If his intentions are not evil, why
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      This sidelong walk,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0012" id="linkimage-0012"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/047m.jpg" alt="047m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/047.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      These flanking steps that lead
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To no advancement of Humanity,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      No exaltation of the mortal breed?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Why not go forward as the Sword-fish goes?
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Or move straight backward, like the jibbing Horse
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Why this absurd and pitiable pose
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      That takes delight in any devious course?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Why this dislike to 'following the nose'
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Which all the best authorities endorse?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Insensate fools. Swims not the Cod in curves?
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Does not the running Roebuck leap and bound
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      If in his flight the Capercailzie swerves,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Shall he be mocked by every Basset-hound
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Who, having neither feathers, wings, nor nerves,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Has not the pluck to rise up from the ground?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Peace, peace, the Crab adopts a side-long walk,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      For reasons still impossible to see.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And if his pride permitted him to talk
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      To any one who did not do as he,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      His instinct would be, probably, to balk
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The hopes of vulgar curiosity.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And while the schoolmen argue and discuss,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And fill the air with "whats," and "whens," and "whys,"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And demonstrate as: thus, and thus, and thus,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The crab will pulverise their theories,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And put an end to all this foolish fuss
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      By walking sideways into Paradise.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0010" id="link2H_4_0010"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      FRAGMENT FOR PHILOSOPHERS
+    </h2>
+    <p class="pfirst">
+      <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">I</span>N the abysses of
+      the ocean deeps,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Fathoms removed from men and mortal strife,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0013" id="linkimage-0013"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/050m.jpg" alt="050m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/050.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      The unexpectant Oyster smiles and sleeps
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Through the calm cycle of his peaceful life.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      What though above his head the steamboat plies,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And close at hand he hears the fume and fuss
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Of the impetuous Halibut that flies
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The mad embraces of the Octopus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Though the fierce tails of Whales like flails descend
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Upon the water lashed to furious foam,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And the Sea-serpents writhe and twist and bend
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      All round the purlieus of his ocean home,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He still preserves his philosophic calm,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      His high detachment from material things,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And lays to his untroubled soul the balm
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Of that contentment oft denied to kings.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Not far off, on the shore, men fume and fret,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And prowl and howl and postulate and preach,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Baby bellows in the bassinet,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And the Salvation Army on the beach.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The unsuccessful "Artist" of the "Halls"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Has blacked his face with cork, and now he sings
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Of moons and coons and comic funerals
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0014" id="linkimage-0014"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/052m.jpg" alt="052m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/052.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And the enchantment that the cake-walk brings.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And on the pier the "milingtary band"
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Poisons the air with beastly brazen sound,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      While cockney couples wander hand in hand,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0015" id="linkimage-0015"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/053m.jpg" alt="053m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/053.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      And dismal tourists tour,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0016" id="linkimage-0016"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:65%;">
+      <img src="images/054m.jpg" alt="054m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/054.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      And bounders bound.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And donkey-boys allure to donkey rides
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      The sitters on the sand beside the sea,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And touts sell "guides" to all the town provides,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      From theatres to "painless dentistry."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To all this noise the Oyster lends no ear,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Partly because he has no ear to lend,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Partly because he hates to interfere,
+    </p>
+    <p class="indent5">
+      Chiefly because these rhymes must have an end.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br /><br />
+    </p>
+
+    <p>
+      <a name="linkimage-0017" id="linkimage-0017"> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:15%;">
+      <img src="images/056m.jpg" alt="056m " width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <a href="images/056.jpg"><i>Original</i></a>
+    </h4>
+    <div style="height: 6em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Placid Pug and Other Rhymes, by 
+(AKA The Belgian Hare) Alfred Douglas
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@@ -0,0 +1,1435 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Placid Pug and Other Rhymes, by
+(AKA The Belgian Hare) Alfred Douglas
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Placid Pug and Other Rhymes
+
+Author: (AKA The Belgian Hare) Alfred Douglas
+
+Illustrator: P. P.
+
+Release Date: April 1, 2014 [EBook #45292]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PLACID PUG AND OTHER RHYMES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger from page images generously
+provided by The Internet Archive
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+THE PLACID PUG AND OTHER RHYMES
+
+By (The Belgian Hare) Lord Alfred Douglas
+
+Author of "Tails with a twist" and "The Duke of Berwick"
+
+Illustrated by P. P.
+
+1906
+
+
+[Illustration: 008]
+
+[Illustration: 010]
+
+
+
+
+THE PLACID PUG
+
+
+|THE placid Pug that paces in the Park,
+
+`Harnessed in silk and led by leathern lead,
+
+Lives his dull life, and recks not of the Shark
+
+`In distant waters. Lapped in sloth and greed,
+
+He fails in strenuous life to make a mark,
+
+The placid Pug that paces in the park.=
+
+
+
+Round the slow circle of his nights and days
+
+`His life revolves in calm monotony.
+
+Not unsusceptible to casual praise,
+
+`And mildly moved by the approach of "tea,"
+
+No forked and jagged lightning leaps and plays
+
+Round the slow circle of his nights and days.=
+
+
+
+He scarcely turns his round protuberant eyes,
+
+`To mark the mood of animals or men.
+
+His joy is limited to mild surmise
+
+`When a new biscuit swims into his ken.
+
+And when athwart his gaze a Rabbit flies,
+
+He scarcely turns his round protuberant eyes.=
+
+
+
+And all the while the Shark in Southern seas
+
+[Illustration: 013]
+
+`Pursues the paths of his pulsating quest,
+
+Though the thermometer at fierce degrees
+
+`Might well admonish him to take a rest,
+
+The Pug at home snores in ignoble ease.
+
+(And all the while the Shark in Southern seas!)=
+
+
+
+If Pugs like Sharks were brought up in the sea
+
+`And forced to swim long miles to find their food,
+
+Tutored to front the Hake's hostility,
+
+`And beard the Lobster in his dangerous mood,
+
+Would not their lives more sane, more useful be,
+
+If Pugs like Sharks were brought up in the sea?=
+
+
+
+The placid Pug still paces in the park,
+
+`Untouched by thoughts of all that might have been.
+
+Undreaming that he might have "steered his bark"
+
+`Through many a stirring sight and stormy scene.
+
+But being born a Pug and not a Shark
+
+The placid Pug still paces in the park.=
+
+
+
+
+BALLAD FOR BISHOPS
+
+
+|BISHOPS and others who inhabit
+
+The mansions of the blest on earth,
+
+[Illustration: 015]
+
+Grieved by decline of infant birth,
+
+Have drawn attention to the rabbit.
+
+Not by design these good men work
+
+To raise that beast to heights contested,
+
+But by comparison, suggested,
+
+With those who procreation shirk.=
+
+
+
+For if a nation's moral status
+
+Be measured by prolific habit,
+
+Between man and the meanest rabbit
+
+There is an evident hiatus.=
+
+
+
+Each year, by lowest computations,
+
+Six times the rabbit rears her young,
+
+And frequent marriages among
+
+The very closest blood relations
+
+In very tender years ensure
+
+A constant stream of "little strangers,"
+
+Who, quickly grown to gallant rangers,
+
+See that their families endure.=
+
+
+
+Not theirs to shirk paternal cares,
+
+Moved by considerations sordid,
+
+A child can always "be afforded";
+
+The same applies to Belgian hares.=
+
+
+
+These noble brutes, pure Duty's pendants,
+
+May live to see their blood vermilion
+
+Coursing through something like a billion
+
+Wholly legitimate descendants.=
+
+
+
+Knowledge's path is hard and stony,
+
+And some may read who unaware are
+
+That rabbit brown and Belgian hare are
+
+Both members of the genus Coney.=
+
+
+
+The common hare, who lives in fields
+
+And never goes into a hole,
+
+(In this inferior to the mole)
+
+In all things to the Belgian yields.=
+
+
+
+He will, immoral brute, decline
+
+To multiply domestic "pledges,"
+
+The family he rears in hedges
+
+Is often limited to nine.=
+
+
+
+Such shocking want of _savoir faire_,
+
+(Surely a symptom of insanity)
+
+Might goad a Bishop to profanity
+
+Were it not for the Belgian hare.=
+
+
+
+
+SONG FOR VINTNERS
+
+
+|THE Lion laps the limpid lake,
+
+`The Pard refuses wine,
+
+The sinuous Lizard and the Snake,
+
+`The petulant Porcupine,
+
+Agree in this, their thirst to quench
+
+Only with Nature's natural "drench."=
+
+
+
+In vain with beer you tempt the Deer,
+
+`Or lure the Marmozet;
+
+The early morning Chanticleer,
+
+`The painted Parroquet,
+
+Alike, on claret and champagne
+
+Gaze with unfaltering disdain.=
+
+
+
+No ale or spirit tempts the Ferret,
+
+`No juice of grape the Toad.
+
+[Illustration: 022]
+
+In vain towards the "Harp and Merit"
+
+`The patient Ox you goad;
+
+Not his in rapture to extol
+
+The praises of the flowing bowl.=
+
+
+
+The silent Spider laughs at cider,
+
+`The Horse despises port;
+
+The Crocodile (whose mouth is wider
+
+`Than any other sort)
+
+Prefers the waters of the Nile
+
+To any of a stronger style.=
+
+
+
+The Rabbit knows no "private bar,"
+
+`The Pelican will wander
+
+Through arid plains of Kandahar,
+
+`Nor ever pause to ponder
+
+Whether in that infernal clime
+
+The clocks converge to "closing time."=
+
+
+
+True "bona-fide traveller"
+
+`Urging no sophist plea,
+
+How terrible must seem to her
+
+`Man's inebriety;
+
+She who in thirsty moments places
+
+Her simple trust in green oases.=
+
+
+
+With what calm scorn the Unicorn,
+
+`In his remote retreat,
+
+Must contemplate the fervour born
+
+`Of old "Chateau Lafitte."
+
+Conceive the feelings of the Sphinx
+
+Confronted with Columbian drinks!=
+
+
+
+And oh! if all this solemn truth
+
+`Were dinned into its mind
+
+From earliest years, might not our youth
+
+`Regenerate mankind,
+
+Aspire to climb the Heights, and dare
+
+To emulate the Belgian hare?=
+
+
+
+
+HYMN FOR HUMBLE PEOPLE
+
+
+|THE staunch and strenuous Serpent spends his time
+
+`In the safe field of serpentine pursuits,
+
+Rightly considering it a social crime
+
+`To parody the ways of other brutes.=
+
+
+
+Scorning the fraud of alien aspirations,
+
+`The snobbishness that apes another class,
+
+Proud, and yet conscious of his limitations,
+
+`He bites the dust and grovels in the grass.=
+
+
+
+The moral food that keeps him down is Force,
+
+`Force to confine his fancies to their beds.
+
+[Illustration: 028]
+
+Makes him the laughing-stock of quadrupeds.=
+
+
+
+No weak attempt to carol like the Lark,
+
+`Fore-doomed to failure and to ridicule,
+
+Troubles his life; he does not wish to bark,
+
+`Has no desire to amble like a Mule.=
+
+
+
+Having no legs he does not try to walk,
+
+`But keeps contentedly his native crawl;
+
+Having no voice he does not strive to talk,
+
+`Much less to bellow or to caterwaul.=
+
+
+
+Mark the inevitably reached result:
+
+`To balance the advantages he missed,
+
+In three departments he may yet exult
+
+`To be the only perfect specialist.=
+
+
+
+Three arts are his: to writhe, to hiss, to creep.
+
+`The Toad's tenacity, the Wombat's wiles,
+
+Or the keen cunning of the crafty Sheep
+
+`(And all are artists in their various styles),=
+
+
+
+Would vainly challenge them. He reigns supreme
+
+`In these the fields of his activity,
+
+And reigning so defies the envious Bream,
+
+`Who sneers and shrugs and sniggers in the sea.=
+
+
+
+Type of the wise, who roar but never foam
+
+`(If they can help it) at the mouth, except
+
+When night and morn they brush their teeth at home
+
+`With pallid powder for that purpose kept.=
+
+
+
+
+VERSICLES FOR VEGETARIANS
+
+
+|SINCE Dr. Watts in frenzy fine
+
+`Extolled the "busy Bee,"
+
+The patience of the Porcupine,
+
+`The Newt's fidelity,
+
+The calm contentment of the Pike,
+
+Have stirred our hearts and brain alike.=
+
+
+
+Lives there a man so lost, so low,
+
+`That he has never found
+
+Some lesson in the Buffalo,
+
+`Some precept in the Hound?
+
+Few who have won Victoria's cross
+
+Owe _nothing_ to the Albatross.=
+
+
+
+These pleasant thoughts must turn our minds,
+
+`In meditation quiet,
+
+Towards the moral law that binds
+
+`The principles of diet.
+
+Since 'tis a maxim none disputes,
+
+That we should imitate the brutes.=
+
+
+
+As has been shown in former verse,
+
+`The animal creation
+
+Does not in its own nature nurse
+
+`Inebriate inclination;
+
+Nor is it formed by Heaven to pant
+
+For alcoholic stimulant.=
+
+
+
+That being so, our path is plain,
+
+`We must eschew all drinks;
+
+If we are anxious to attain
+
+`To the celestial brinks,
+
+The meanest Hippopotamus
+
+Will make our duty clear to us.=
+
+
+
+But in the search for Natural guides
+
+`To moral food-restrictions,
+
+We are assaulted on all sides
+
+`By patent contradictions.
+
+Thus, while the Lion lives on meat,
+
+The Pheasant is content with wheat.=
+
+
+
+Who then, when beasts do not agree,
+
+`Shall venture to decide?
+
+[Illustration: 033]
+
+Some will adopt the Chimpanzee
+
+[Illustration: 034]
+
+`And some the Fox as guide,
+
+Others the Bear or Antelope,
+
+Nature allows the fullest scope.=
+
+
+
+
+HYMN FOR HOWLERS
+
+
+|WHO that has sailed upon the ocean's face,
+
+`Or walked beside the sea along the sand,
+
+Has not felt envy for the piscine race,
+
+Comparing its domain, where noise is banned,
+
+To the infernal racket that takes place
+
+On land?=
+
+
+
+While up above the billows rage and roar
+
+And make a most unnecessary noise,
+
+And shallow Shrimps, who live too near the shore,
+
+Are harassed by the shouts of girls and boys,
+
+Who find the beach a place convenient for
+
+Their toys,=
+
+
+
+The happy members of the Fishy clan
+
+Pursue in peace their various pursuits,
+
+All undisturbed by bell of muffin-man,
+
+Or bellow of purveyor of fresh fruits,
+
+Who at each "Pub" his voice republican
+
+Recruits.=
+
+
+
+The harmless Herring gambols with his young,
+
+And heeds but hears not their impulsive play.
+
+(His heart is with their mother who was flung,
+
+Kippered to feed a clerk's bank-holiday,
+
+Into the salting-tub and passed unsung
+
+Away.)=
+
+
+
+Now, had this Herring been of human breed,
+
+And lived in London or some other town,
+
+Fate would have made him _hear_ as well as heed
+
+His offspring as it gambolled up and down,
+
+[Illustration: 037]
+
+Making a noise that's very hard indeed
+
+To drown.=
+
+
+
+Moreover, organ-grinders would have ground,
+
+And yowls from both "employed" and "unemployed";
+
+Hoarse howls from those who had "salvation" found,
+
+And bawls from those whose faith had been destroyed,
+
+Would have combined to keep his sense of sound
+
+Annoyed.=
+
+
+
+Who would not therefore rather be a Whale,
+
+A Hake, a Haddock, or a Mackerel,
+
+Than linger in this sad uncertain vale
+
+(Here where men sit and hear each other yell)?
+
+Better to go, if other places fail,
+
+To ------
+
+
+
+
+DIRGE FOR DEFEATED CANDIDATES
+
+
+|THE dreadful Dragon and the Unicorn,
+
+`Accustomed to be treated with respect,
+
+`And much annoyed by present-day neglect,
+
+Have sometimes wished they never had been born,
+
+`At least in any world so "unselect."=
+
+
+
+Their non-existence being now a "fact"
+
+`Accepted by mankind's majority,
+
+`They naturally feel quite "up a tree."
+
+They don't know what to do to counteract
+
+`These damned delusions of Democracy.=
+
+
+
+Although they often walk out in the sun,
+
+`And show themselves in all important streets,
+
+`Although in fact they have their "regular beats,"
+
+They're hardly ever seen by any one,
+
+`And get no notice in the "daily sheets."=
+
+
+
+Although as signs they hang on various inns,
+
+`They find themselves irrevocably "out."=
+
+
+
+[Illustration: 040]
+
+In vain they prance and caracole about,
+
+Even the tribute of "derisive grins"
+
+`Is now denied them in their final rout.=
+
+
+
+Mere non-belief in his existence may
+
+`Seem, to one emptying a festive flagon
+
+`In the interior of the "Wasp and Wagon,"
+
+A very trifling matter any way.
+
+`But it is most annoying to the Dragon.=
+
+
+
+The subject may appear beneath contempt
+
+`To one who holds the world's applause in scorn,
+
+`Preferring in a cloister to adorn
+
+"Illumined scrolls in heavenly colours dreamt,"
+
+`But it is galling to the Unicorn.
+
+
+
+
+POEM FOR THE PROUD
+
+
+|SEEN in the mirror of the poet's dream,
+
+(Exclusively reserved for the "elect"),
+
+Each animal supplies us with a theme
+
+For wondering-admiration and respect.
+
+Thus, to those men who truly modest seem
+
+Compare
+
+The Hare.=
+
+
+
+The Bee performs all sorts of useful things
+
+When she is gathering honey for the hive,
+
+She fertilises flowers and plants, and brings
+
+Food to keep necessary Drones alive.
+
+Unless annoyed she very seldom stings,
+
+Dear me!
+
+The Bee.=
+
+
+
+The Dove extols and cherishes his mate,
+
+And coos and woos all through the summer day.
+
+H is life is blamelessly immaculate,
+
+And though his wings enable him to stray,
+
+He seldom does. He never comes home late.
+
+By Jove!
+
+The Dove.=
+
+
+
+The Crow displays a splendid scorn of pelf,
+
+Backed by invulnerable self-restraint.
+
+All specious arts he lays upon the shelf,
+
+And, being free from every primal taint,
+
+He keeps himself entirely to himself.
+
+[Illustration: 044]
+
+Bravo
+
+The Crow!=
+
+
+
+The Stork _compels_ our admiration, he
+
+Will stand for several hours in the same place
+
+And on one leg, instead of two (or three),
+
+Thus practising economy of space.
+
+A grand example of stability!
+
+Oh Lork!
+
+The Stork.=
+
+
+
+The self-repressive Cod, on his own beat,
+
+Swims in elaborately-studied curves.
+
+He keeps below, not wishing to compete
+
+With surface-swimming fishes, though his nerves
+
+Are sometimes tried by lack of air, and heat.
+
+Good God!
+
+The Cod.=
+
+
+
+
+SONG FOR SIDLERS
+
+
+|THE Crab walks sideways, not because his build
+
+`Precludes the possibility of walking straight,
+
+And not (as some have thought) that he is filled
+
+`With strange and lawless theories on gait;
+
+Still less that he is foolishly self-willed
+
+`And prone to show off or exaggerate.=
+
+
+
+No serious student of his life and ways
+
+`Will venture to impugn his common sense;
+
+His tact and moderation win high praise
+
+`Even from those whose faculties are dense
+
+And blind to the false issues which they raise
+
+`When they accuse him of malevolence.=
+
+
+
+"But, ah!" these shallow hide-bound pedants cry,
+
+`"If to the Crab all virtues you concede,
+
+If his intentions are not evil, why
+
+`This sidelong walk,
+
+[Illustration: 047]
+
+`These flanking steps that lead
+
+To no advancement of Humanity,
+
+`No exaltation of the mortal breed?=
+
+
+
+"Why not go forward as the Sword-fish goes?
+
+`Or move straight backward, like the jibbing Horse
+
+Why this absurd and pitiable pose
+
+`That takes delight in any devious course?
+
+Why this dislike to 'following the nose'
+
+`Which all the best authorities endorse?"=
+
+
+
+Insensate fools. Swims not the Cod in curves?
+
+`Does not the running Roebuck leap and bound
+
+If in his flight the Capercailzie swerves,
+
+`Shall he be mocked by every Basset-hound
+
+Who, having neither feathers, wings, nor nerves,
+
+`Has not the pluck to rise up from the ground?=
+
+
+
+Peace, peace, the Crab adopts a side-long walk,
+
+`For reasons still impossible to see.
+
+And if his pride permitted him to talk
+
+`To any one who did not do as he,
+
+His instinct would be, probably, to balk
+
+`The hopes of vulgar curiosity.=
+
+
+
+And while the schoolmen argue and discuss,
+
+`And fill the air with "whats," and "whens," and "whys,"
+
+And demonstrate as: thus, and thus, and thus,
+
+`The crab will pulverise their theories,
+
+And put an end to all this foolish fuss
+
+`By walking sideways into Paradise.
+
+
+
+
+FRAGMENT FOR PHILOSOPHERS
+
+
+|IN the abysses of the ocean deeps,
+
+`Fathoms removed from men and mortal strife,
+
+[Illustration: 050]
+
+The unexpectant Oyster smiles and sleeps
+
+`Through the calm cycle of his peaceful life.=
+
+
+
+What though above his head the steamboat plies,
+
+`And close at hand he hears the fume and fuss
+
+Of the impetuous Halibut that flies
+
+`The mad embraces of the Octopus.=
+
+
+
+Though the fierce tails of Whales like flails descend
+
+`Upon the water lashed to furious foam,
+
+And the Sea-serpents writhe and twist and bend
+
+`All round the purlieus of his ocean home,=
+
+
+
+He still preserves his philosophic calm,
+
+`His high detachment from material things,
+
+And lays to his untroubled soul the balm
+
+`Of that contentment oft denied to kings.=
+
+
+
+Not far off, on the shore, men fume and fret,
+
+`And prowl and howl and postulate and preach,
+
+The Baby bellows in the bassinet,
+
+`And the Salvation Army on the beach.=
+
+
+
+The unsuccessful "Artist" of the "Halls"
+
+`Has blacked his face with cork, and now he sings
+
+Of moons and coons and comic funerals
+
+[Illustration: 052]
+
+`And the enchantment that the cake-walk brings.=
+
+
+
+And on the pier the "milingtary band"
+
+`Poisons the air with beastly brazen sound,
+
+While cockney couples wander hand in hand,
+
+[Illustration: 053]
+
+`And dismal tourists tour,
+
+[Illustration: 054]
+
+And bounders bound.=
+
+
+
+And donkey-boys allure to donkey rides
+
+`The sitters on the sand beside the sea,
+
+And touts sell "guides" to all the town provides,
+
+`From theatres to "painless dentistry."=
+
+
+
+To all this noise the Oyster lends no ear,
+
+`Partly because he has no ear to lend,
+
+Partly because he hates to interfere,
+
+`Chiefly because these rhymes must have an end.=
+
+
+
+[Illustration: 056]
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Placid Pug and Other Rhymes, by
+(AKA The Belgian Hare) Alfred Douglas
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PLACID PUG AND OTHER RHYMES ***
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+***** This file should be named 45292.txt or 45292.zip *****
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