diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'old')
| -rw-r--r-- | old/4969.txt.20100608 | 17498 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/4969.zip.20100608 | bin | 0 -> 303274 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/beles10.txt | 17042 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/beles10.txt20020407 | 17042 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/beles10.zip | bin | 0 -> 301813 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/beles10.zip.20020407 | bin | 0 -> 301813 bytes |
6 files changed, 51582 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/old/4969.txt.20100608 b/old/4969.txt.20100608 new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6e0d6ea --- /dev/null +++ b/old/4969.txt.20100608 @@ -0,0 +1,17498 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Belton Estate, by Anthony Trollope + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Belton Estate + + +Author: Anthony Trollope + + + +Release Date: January, 2004 [EBook #4969] +[This file was first posted on April 7, 2002] +[Most recently updated June 8, 2010] + + + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BELTON ESTATE*** + + +E-text prepared by Andrew Turek; corrections by Rita Bailey + + + +THE BELTON ESTATE + +by + +ANTHONY TROLLOPE + +First published in serial form in the _Fortnightly Review_ +in 1865 and in book form the same year + + + + + + + +CHAPTER I + +THE REMNANTS OF THE AMEDROZ FAMILY + +Mrs Amedroz, the wife of Bernard Amedroz, Esq, of Belton Castle, and +mother of Charles and Clara Amedroz, died when those children were +only eight and six years old, thereby subjecting them to the greatest +misfortune which children born in that sphere of life can be made to +suffer. And, in the case of this boy and girl, the misfortune was +aggravated greatly by the peculiarities of the father's character. Mr +Amedroz was not a bad man as men are held to be bad in the world's +esteem. He was not vicious was not a gambler or a drunkard was not +self-indulgent to a degree that brought upon him any reproach; nor +was he regardless of his children. But he was an idle, thriftless +man, who, at the age of sixty-seven, when the reader will first make +his acquaintance, had as yet done no good in the world whatever. +Indeed he had done terrible evil; for his son Charles was now dead +had perished by his own hand and the state of things which had +brought about this woeful event had been chiefly due to the father's +neglect. + +Belton Castle is a pretty country seat, standing in a small but +beautifully wooded park, close under the Quantock hills in +Somersetshire; and the little town of Belton clusters round the park +gates. Few Englishmen know the scenery of England well, and the +prettinesses of Somersetshire are among those which are the least +known. But the Quantock hills are very lovely, with their rich +valleys lying close among them, and their outlying moorlands running +off towards Dulverton and the borders of Devonshire moorlands which +are not flat, like Salisbury Plain, but are broken into ravines and +deep watercourses and rugged dells hither and thither; where old oaks +are standing, in which life seems to have dwindled down to the last +spark; but the last spark is still there, and the old oaks give forth +their scanty leaves from year to year. + +In among the hills, somewhat off the high road from Minehead to +Taunton, and about five miles from the sea, stands the little town, +or village, of Belton, and the modern house of Mr Amedroz, which is +called Belton Castle. The village for it is in truth no more, though +it still maintains a charter for a market, and there still exists on +Tuesdays some pretence of an open sale of grain and butcher's meat in +the square before the church-gate contains about two thousand +persons. That and the whole parish of Belton did once and that not +long ago belong to the Amedroz family. They had inherited it from the +Beltons of old, an Amedroz having married the heiress of the family. +And as the parish is large, stretching away to Exmoor on one side and +almost to the sea on the other, containing the hamlet of Redicote, +lying on the Taunton high road Redicote, where the post-office is +placed, a town almost in itself, and one which is now much more +prosperous than Belton as the property when it came to the first +Amedroz had limits such as these, the family had been considerable in +the county. But these limits had been straitened in the days of the +grandfather and the father of Bernard Amedroz; and he, when he +married a Miss Winterfield of Taunton, was thought to have done very +well, in that mortgages were paid off the property with his wife's +money to such an extent as to leave him in clear possession of an +estate that gave him two thousand a year. As Mr Amedroz had no grand +neighbours near him, as the place is remote and the living therefore +cheap, and as with this income there was no question of annual visits +to London, Mr and Mrs Amedroz might have done very well with such of +the good things of the world as had fallen to their lot. And had the +wife lived, such would probably have been the case; for the +Winterfields were known to be prudent people. But Mrs Amedroz had +died young, and things with Bernard Amedroz had gone badly. + +And yet the evil had not been so much with him as with that terrible +boy of his. The father had been nearly forty when he married. He had +then never done any good; but as neither had he done much harm, the +friends of the family had argued well of his future career. After +him, unless he should leave a son behind him, there would be no +Amedroz left among the Quantock hills; and by some arrangement in +respect to that Winterfield money which came to him on his marriage +the Winterfields having a long-dated connexion with the Beltons of +old the Amedroz property was, at Bernard's marriage, entailed back +upon a distant Belton cousin, one Will Belton, whom no one had seen +for many years, but who was by blood nearer the squire in default of +children of his own than any other of his relatives. And now Will +Belton was the heir to Belton Castle; for Charles Amedroz, at the age +of twenty-seven, had found the miseries of the world to be too many +for him, and had put an end to them and to himself. + +Charles had been a clever fellow a very clever fellow in the eyes of +his father. Bernard Amedroz knew that he himself was not a clever +fellow, and admired his son accordingly; and when Charles had been +expelled from Harrow for some boyish freak in his vengeance against a +neighbouring farmer, who had reported to the school authorities the +doings of a few beagles upon his land, Charles had cut off the heads +of all the trees in a young fir plantation his father was proud of +the exploit. When he was rusticated a second time from Trinity, and +when the father received an intimation that his son's name had better +be taken from the College books, the squire was not so well pleased; +but even then he found some delight in the stories which reached him +of his son's vagaries; and when the young man commenced Bohemian life +in London, his father did nothing to restrain him. Then there came +the old story debts, endless debts; and lies, endless lies. During +the two years before his death, his father paid for him, or undertook +to pay, nearly ten thousand pounds, sacrificing the life assurances +which were to have made provision for his daughter; sacrificing, to a +great extent, his own life income sacrificing everything, so that the +property might not be utterly ruined at his death. That Charles +Amedroz should be a brighter, greater man than any other Amedroz, had +still been the father's pride. At the last visit which Charles had +paid to Belton his father had called upon him to pledge himself +solemnly that his sister should not be made to suffer by what had +been done for him. Within a month of that time he had blown his +brains out in his London lodgings, thus making over the entire +property to Will Belton at his father's death. At that last pretended +settlement with his father and his father's lawyer, he had kept back +the mention of debts as heavy nearly as those to which he had owned; +and there were debts of honour, too, of which he had not spoken, +trusting to the next event at Newmarket to set him right. The next +event at Newmarket had set him more wrong than ever, and so there had +come an end to everything with Charles Amedroz. + +This had happened in the spring, and the afflicted father afflicted +with the double sorrow of his son's terrible death and his daughter's +ruin had declared that he would turn his face to the wall and die. +But the old squire's health, though far from strong, was stronger +than he had deemed it, and his feelings, sharp enough, were less +sharp than he thought them; and when a month had passed by, he had +discovered that it would be better that he should live, in order that +his daughter might still have bread to eat and a house of her own +over her head. Though he was now an impoverished man, there was still +left to him the means of keeping up the old home; and he told himself +that it must, if possible, be so kept that a few pounds annually +might be put by for Clara. The old carriage-horses were sold, and the +park was let to a farmer, up to the hall door of the castle. So much +the squire could do; but as to the putting by of the few pounds, any +dependence on such exertion as that on his part would, we may say, be +very precarious. + +Belton Castle was not in truth a castle. Immediately before the front +door, so near to the house as merely to allow of a broad road running +between it and the entrance porch, there stood an old tower, which +gave its name to the residence an old square tower, up which the +Amedroz boys for three generations had been able to climb by means of +the ivy and broken stones in one of the inner corners and this tower +was a remnant of a real castle that had once protected the village of +Belton. The house itself was an ugly residence, three stories high, +built in the time of George II, with low rooms and long passages, +and an immense number of doors. It was a large unattractive +house--unattractive that is, as regarded its own attributes but made +interesting by the beauty of the small park in which it stood. Belton +Park did not, perhaps, contain much above a hundred acres, but the +land was so broken into knolls and valleys, in so many places was the +rock seen to be cropping up through the verdure, there were in it so +many stunted old oaks, so many points of vantage for the lover of +scenery, that no one would believe it to be other than a considerable +domain. The farmer who took it, and who would not under any +circumstances undertake to pay more than seventeen shillings an acre +for it, could not be made to think that it was in any way +considerable. But Belton Park, since first it was made a park, had +never before been regarded in this fashion. Farmer Stovey, of the +Grange, was the first man of that class who had ever assumed the +right to pasture his sheep in Belton chase as the people around were +still accustomed to call the woodlands of the estate. + +It was full summer at Belton, and four months had now passed since +the dreadful tidings had reached the castle. It was full summer, and +the people of the village were again going about their ordinary +business; and the shop-girls with their lovers from Redicote were +again to be seen walking among the oaks in the park on a Sunday +evening; and the world in that district of Somersetshire was getting +itself back into its grooves. The fate of the young heir had +disturbed the grooves greatly, and had taught many in those parts to +feel that the world was coming to an end. They had not loved young +Amedroz, for he had been haughty when among them, and there had been +wrongs committed by the dissolute young squire, and grief had come +from his misdoings upon more than one household; but to think that he +should have destroyed himself with his own hand! And then, to think +that Miss Clara would become a beggar when the old squire should die! +All the neighbours around understood the whole history of the entail, +and knew that the property was to go to Will Belton. Now Will Belton +was not a gentleman! So, at least, said the Belton folk, who had +heard that the heir had been brought up as a farmer somewhere in +Norfolk. Will Belton had once been at the Castle as a boy, now some +fifteen years ago, and then there had sprung up a great quarrel +between him and his distant cousin Charles and Will, who was rough +and large of stature, had thrashed the smaller boy severely; and the +thing had grown to have dimensions larger than those which generally +attend the quarrels of boys; and Will had said something which had +shown how well he understood his position in reference to the estate +and Charles had hated him. So Will had gone, and had been no more +seen among the oaks whose name he bore. And the people, in spite of +his name, regarded him as an interloper. To them, with their short +memories and scanty knowledge of the past, Amedroz was more +honourable than Belton, and they looked upon the coming man as an +intruder. Why should not Miss Clara have the property? Miss Clara had +never done harm to any one! + +Things got back into their old grooves, and at the end of the third +month the squire was once more seen in the old family pew at church. +He was a large man, who had been very handsome, and who now, in his +yellow leaf, was not without a certain beauty of manliness. He wore +his hair and his beard long; before his son's death they were grey, +but now they were very white. And though he stooped, there was still +a dignity in his slow step a dignity that came to him from nature +rather than from any effort. He was a man who, in fact, did little or +nothing in the world whose life had been very useless; but he had +been gifted with such a presence that he looked as though he were one +of God's nobler creatures. Though always dignified he was ever +affable, and the poor liked him better than they might have done had +he passed his time in searching out their wants and supplying them. +They were proud of their squire, though he had done nothing for them. +It was something to them to have a man who could so carry himself +sitting in the family pew in their parish church. They knew that he +was poor, but they all declared that he was never mean. He was a real +gentleman was this last Amedroz of the family; therefore they +curtsied low, and bowed on his reappearance among them, and made all +those signs of reverential awe which are common to the poor when they +feel reverence for the presence of a superior. + +Clara was there with him, but she had shown herself in the pew for +four or five weeks before this. She had not been at home when the +fearful news had reached Belton, being at that time with a certain +lady who lived on the farther side of the county, at Perivale a +certain Mrs Winterfield, born a Folliott, a widow, who stood to Miss +Amedroz in the place of an aunt. Mrs Winterfield was, in truth, the +sister of a gentleman who had married Clara's aunt there having been +marriages and intermarriages between the Winterfields and the +Folliotts and the Belton-Amedroz families. With this lady in Perivale, +which I maintain to be the dullest little town in England, Miss +Amedroz was staying when the news reached her father, and when it was +brought direct from London to herself. Instantly she had hurried +home, taking the journey with all imaginable speed though her heart +was all but broken within her bosom. She had found her father +stricken to the ground, and it was the more necessary, therefore, +that she should exert herself. It would not do that she also should +yield to that longing for death which terrible calamities often +produce for a season. + +Clara Amedroz, when she first heard the news of her brother's fate, +had felt that she was for ever crushed to the ground. She had known +too well what had been the nature of her brother's life, but she had +not expected or feared any such termination to his career as this +which had now come upon him to the terrible affliction of all +belonging to him. She felt at first, as did also her father, that she +and he were annihilated as regards this world, not only by an +enduring grief, but also by a disgrace which would never allow her +again to hold up her head. And for many a long year much of this +feeling clung to her clung to her much more strongly than to her +father. But strength was hers to perceive, even before she had +reached her home, that it was her duty to repress both the feeling of +shame and the sorrow, as far as they were capable of repression. Her +brother had been weak, and in his weakness had sought a coward's +escape from the ills of the world around him. She must not also be a +coward! Bad as life might be to her henceforth, she must endure it +with such fortitude as she could muster. So resolving she returned to +her father, and was able to listen to his railings with a fortitude +that was essentially serviceable both to him and to herself. + +'Both of you! Both of you!' the unhappy father had said in his woe. +'The wretched boy has destroyed you as much as himself!' 'No, sir,' +she had answered, with a forbearance in her misery, which, terrible +as was the effort, she forced herself to accomplish for his sake. 'It +is not so. No thought of that need add to your grief. My poor brother +has not hurt me not in the way you mean.' 'He has ruined us all,' +said the father; 'root and branch, man and woman, old and young, +house and land. He has brought the family to an end ah me, to such an +end!' After that the name of him who had taken himself from among +them was not mentioned between the father and daughter, and Clara +settled herself to the duties of her new life, striving to live as +though there was no great sorrow around her as though no cloud-storm +had burst over her head. + +The family lawyer, who lived at Taunton, had communicated the fact of +Charles's death to Mr Belton, and Belton had acknowledged the letter +with the ordinary expressions of regret. The lawyer had alluded to +the entail, saying that it was improbable that Mr Amedroz would have +another son. To this Belton had replied that for his cousin Clara's +sake he hoped that the squire's life might be long spared. The lawyer +smiled as he read the wish, thinking to himself that luckily no wish +on the part of Will Belton could influence his old client either for +good or evil. What man, let alone what lawyer, will ever believe in +the sincerity of such a wish as that expressed by the heir to a +property? And yet where is the man who will not declare to himself +that such, under such circumstances, would be his own wish? + +Clara Amedroz at this time was not a very young lady. She had already +passed her twenty-fifth birthday, and in manners, appearance, and +habits was, at any rate, as old as her age. She made no pretence to +youth, speaking of herself always as one whom circumstances required +to take upon herself age in advance of her years. She did not dress +young, or live much with young people, or correspond with other girls +by means of crossed letters; nor expect that, for her, young +pleasures should be provided. Life had always been serious with her; +but now, we may say, since the terrible tragedy lit the family, it +must be solemn as well as serious. The memory of her brother must +always be upon her; and the memory also of the fact that her father +was now an impoverished man, on whose behalf it was her duty to care +that every shilling spent in the house did its full twelve pennies' +worth of work. There was a mixture in this of deep tragedy and of +little cares, which seemed to destroy for her the poetry as well as +the pleasure of life. The poetry and tragedy might have gone hand in +hand together; and so might the cares and pleasures of life have +done, had there been no black sorrow of which she must be ever +mindful. But it was her lot to have to scrutinize the butcher's bill +as she was thinking of her brother's fate; and to work daily among +small household things while the spectre of her brother's corpse was +ever before her eyes. + +A word must be said to explain how it had come to pass that the life +led by Miss Amedroz had been more than commonly serious before that +tragedy had befallen the family. The name of the lady who stood to +Clara in the place of an aunt has been already mentioned. When a girl +has a mother, her aunt may be little or nothing to her. But when the +mother is gone, if there be an aunt unimpeded with other family +duties, then the family duties of that aunt begin and are assumed +sometimes with great vigour. Such had been the case with Mrs +Winterfield. No woman ever lived, perhaps, with more conscientious +ideas of her duty as a woman than Mrs Winterfield of Prospect Place, +Perivale. And this, as I say it, is intended to convey no scoff +against that excellent lady. She was an excellent lady unselfish, +given to self-restraint, generous, pious, looking to find in her +religion a safe path through life a path as safe as the facts of +Adam's fall would allow her feet to find. She was a woman fearing +much for others, but fearing also much for herself, striving to +maintain her house in godliness, hating sin, and struggling with the +weakness of her humanity so that she might not allow herself to hate +the sinners. But her hatred for the sin she found herself bound at +all times to pronounce to show it by some act at all seasons. To +fight the devil was her work was the appointed work of every living +soul, if only living souls could be made to acknowledge the necessity +of the task. Now an aunt of that kind, when she assumes her duties +towards a motherless niece, is apt to make life serious. + +But, it will be said, Clara Amedroz could have rebelled; and Clara's +father was hardly made of such stuff that obedience to the aunt would +be enforced on her by parental authority. Doubtless Clara could have +rebelled against her aunt. Indeed, I do not know that she had +hitherto been very obedient. But there were family facts about these +Winterfield connexions which would have made it difficult for her to +ignore her so-called aunt, even had she wished to do so. Mrs +Winterfield had twelve hundred a year at her own disposal, and she +was the only person related to the Amedroz family from whom Mr +Amedroz had a right to have expectations on his daughter's behalf. +Clara had, in a measure, been claimed by the lady, and the father had +made good the lady's claim, and Clara had acknowledged that a portion +of her life was due to the demands of Perivale. These demands had +undoubtedly made her life serious. + +Life at Perivale was a very serious thing. As regards amusement, +ordinarily so called, the need of any such institution was not +acknowledged at Prospect House. Food, drink, and raiment were +acknowledged to be necessary to humanity, and, in accordance with the +rules of that house, they were supplied in plenty, and good of their +kind. Such ladies as Mrs Winterfield generally keep good tables, +thinking no doubt that the eatables should do honour to the grace +that is said for them. And Mrs Winterfield herself always wore a +thick black silk dress not rusty or dowdy with age but with some +gloss of the silk on it; giving away, with secret, underhand, +undiscovered charity, her old dresses to another lady of her own +sort, on whom fortune had not bestowed twelve hundred a year. And Mrs +Winterfield kept a low, four-wheeled, one-horsed phaeton, in which +she made her pilgrimages among the poor of Perivale, driven by the +most solemn of stable-boys, dressed up in a great white coat, the +most priggish of hats, and white cotton gloves. At the rate of five +miles an hour was she driven about, and this driving was to her the +amusement of life. But such an occupation to Clara Amedroz assisted +to make life serious. + +In person Mrs Winterfield was tall and thin, wearing on her brow thin +braids of false hair. She had suffered much from acute ill health, +and her jaws were sunken, and her eyes were hollow, and there was a +look of woe about her which seemed ever to be telling of her own +sorrows in this world and of the sorrows of others in the world to +come. Ill-nature was written on her face, but in this her face was a +false face. She had the manners of a cross, peevish woman; but her +manners also were false, and gave no proper idea of her character. +But still, such as she was, she made life very serious to those who +were called upon to dwell with her. + +I need, I hope, hardly say that a young lady such as Miss Amedroz, +even though she had reached the age of twenty-five for at the time to +which I am now alluding she had nearly done so and was not young of +her age, had formed for herself no plan of life in which her aunt's +money figured as a motive power. She had gone to Perivale when she +was very young, because she had been told to do so, and had continued +to go, partly from obedience, partly from habit, and partly from +affection. An aunt's dominion, when once well established in early +years, cannot easily be thrown altogether aside even though a young +lady have a will of her own. Now Clara Amedroz had a strong will of +her own, and did not at all at any rate in these latter days belong +to that school of divinity in which her aunt shone almost as a +professor. And this circumstance, also, added to the seriousness of +her life. But in regard to her aunt's money she had entertained no +established hopes; and when her aunt opened her mind to her, on that +subject, a few days before the arrival of the fatal news at Perivale, +Clara, though she was somewhat surprised, was by no means +disappointed. Now there was a certain Captain Aylmer in the question, +of whom in this opening chapter it will be necessary to say a few +words. + +Captain Frederic Folliott Aylmer was, in truth, the nephew of Mrs +Winterfield, whereas Clara Amedroz was not, in truth, her niece. And +Captain Aylmer was also Member of Parliament for the little borough +of Perivale, returned altogether on the Low Church interest for a +devotion to which, and for that alone, Perivale was noted among +boroughs. These facts together added not a little to Mrs +Winterfield's influence and professorial power in the place, and gave +a dignity to the one-horse chaise which it might not otherwise have +possessed. But Captain Aylmer was only the second son of his father, +Sir Anthony Aylmer, who had married a Miss Folliott, sister of our +Mrs Winterfield. On Frederic Aylmer his mother's estate was settled. +That and Mrs Winterfield's property lay in the neighbourhood of +Perivale; and now, on the occasion to which I am alluding, Mrs +Winterfield thought it necessary to tell Clara that the property must +all go together. She had thought about it, and had doubted about it, +and had prayed about it, and now she found that such a disposition of +it was her duty. + +'I am quite sure you're right, aunt,' Clara had said. She knew very +well what had come of that provision which her father had attempted +to make for her, and knew also how great were her father's +expectations in regard to Mrs Winterfield's money. + +'I hope I am; but I have thought it right to tell you. I shall feel +myself bound to tell Frederic. I have had many doubts, but I think I +am right.' + +'I am sure you are, aunt. What would he think of me if, at some +future time, he should have to find that I had been in his way?' + +'The future time will not be long now, my dear.' + +'I hope it may; but long or short, it is better so.' + +'I think it is, my dear; I think it is. I think it is my duty.' + +It must be understood that Captain Aylmer was member for Perivale on +the Low Church interest, and that, therefore, when at Perivale he was +decidedly a Low Churchman. I am not aware that the peculiarity stuck +to him very closely at Aylmer Castle, in Yorkshire, or among his +friends in London; but there was no hypocrisy in this, as the world +goes. Women in such matters are absolutely false if they be not +sincere; but men, with political views, and with much of their future +prospects in jeopardy also, are allowed to dress themselves +differently for different scenes. Whatever be the peculiar interest +on which a man goes into Parliament, of course he has to live up to +that in his own borough. Whether malt, the franchise, or teetotalism +be his rallying point, of course he is full of it when among his +constituents. But it is not desirable that he should be full of it +also at his club. Had Captain Aylmer become Prime Minister, he would +no doubt have made Low Church bishops. It was the side to which he +had taken himself in that matter not without good reasons. And he +could say a sharp word or two in season about vestments; he was +strong against candles, and fought for his side fairly well. No one +had good right to complain of Captain Aylmer as being insincere; but +had his aunt known the whole history of her nephew's life, I doubt +whether she would have made him her heir thinking that in doing so +she was doing the best for the good cause. + +The whole history of her niece's life she did know, and she knew that +Clara was not with her, heart and soul. Had Clara left the old woman +in doubt on this subject, she would have been a hypocrite. Captain +Aylmer did not often spend a Sunday at Perivale, but when he did, he +went to church three times, and submitted himself to the yoke. He was +thinking of the borough votes quite as much as of his aunt's money, +and was carrying on his business after the fashion of men But Clara +found herself compelled to maintain some sort of a fight, though she +also went to church three times on Sunday. And there was another +reason why Mrs Winterfield thought it right to mention Captain +Aylmer's name to her niece on this occasion. + +'I had hoped', she said, 'that it might make no difference in what +way my money was left.' + +Clara well understood what this meant, as will, probably, the reader +also. 'I can't say but what it will make a difference,' she answered, +smiling; 'but I shall always think that you have done right. Why +should I stand in Captain Aylmer's way?' + +'I had hoped your ways might have been the same,' said the old lady, +fretfully. + +'But they cannot be the same.' + +'No; you do not see things as he sees them. Things that are serious +to him are, I fear, only light to you. Dear Clara, would I could see +you more in earnest as to the only matter that is worth our +earnestness.' Miss Amedroz said nothing as to the Captain's +earnestness, though, perhaps, her ideas as to his ideas about +religion were more correct than those held by Mrs Winterfield. But it +would not have suited her to raise any argument on that subject. 'I +pray for you, Clara,' continued the old lady, 'and will do so as long +as the power of prayer is left to me. I hope I hope you do not cease +to pray for yourself?' + +'I endeavour, aunt.' + +'It is an endeavour which, if really made, never fails.' Clara said +nothing more, and her aunt also remained silent. Soon afterwards, the +four-wheeled carriage, with the demure stable-boy, came to the door, +and Clara was driven up and down through the streets of Perivale in a +manner which was an injury to her. She knew that she was suffering an +injustice, but it was one of which she could not make complaint. She +submitted to her aunt, enduring the penances that were required of +her; and, therefore, her aunt had opportunity enough to see her +shortcomings. Mrs Winterfield did see them, and judged her +accordingly. Captain Aylmer, being a man and a Member of Parliament, +was called upon to bear no such penances, and, therefore, his +shortcomings were not suspected. + +But, after all, what title had she ever possessed to entertain +expectations from Mrs Winterfield? When she thought of it all in her +room that night, she told herself that it was strange that her aunt +should have spoken to her in such a way on such a subject. But, then, +so much had been said to her on the matter by her father, so much, no +doubt, had reached her aunt's ears also, the hope that her position +with reference to the rich widow at Perivale might be beneficial to +her had been so often discussed at Belton as a make-weight against +the extravagances of the heir, there had already been so much of this +mistake, that she taught herself to perceive that the communication +was needed. 'In her honesty 'she has not chosen to leave me with +false hopes,' said Clara to herself. And at that moment she loved her +aunt for her honesty. + +Then, on the day but one following this conversation as to the +destiny of her aunt's property, came the terrible tidings of her +brother's death. Captain Aylmer, who had been in London at the time, +hurried down to Perivale, and had been the first to tell Miss Amedroz +what had happened. The words spoken between them had not been many, +but Clara knew that Captain Aylmer had been kind to her; and when he +had offered to accompany her to Belton, she had thanked him with a +degree of gratitude which had almost seemed to imply more of regard +between them than Clara would have acknowledged to exist. But in +moments such as those, soft words may be spoken and hands may be +pressed without any of that meaning which soft words and the grasping +of hands generally carry with them. As far as Taunton Captain Aylmer +did go with Miss Amedroz, and there they parted, he on his journey up +to town, and she for her father's desolate house at Belton. + + + +CHAPTER II + +THE HEIR PROPOSES TO VISIT HIS COUSIN + +It was full summer at Belton, and the sweet scene of the new hay +filled the porch of the old house with fragrance, as Clara sat there +alone with her work. Immediately before the house door, between that +and the old tower, there stood one of Farmer Stovey's hay-carts, now +empty, with an old horse between the shafts looking as though he were +asleep in the sun. Immediately beyond the tower the men were loading +another cart, and the women and children were chattering as they +raked the scattered remnants up to the rows. Under the shadow of the +old tower, but in sight of Clara as she sat in the porch, there lay +the small beer-barrels of the hay-makers, and three or four rakes +were standing erect against the old grey wall. It was now eleven +o'clock, and Clara was waiting for her father, who was not yet out of +his room. She had taken his breakfast to him in bed, as was her +custom; for he had fallen into idle ways, and the luxury of his bed +was, of all his remaining luxuries, the one that he liked the best. +After a while he came down to her, having an open letter in his hand. +Clara saw that he intended either to show it to her or to speak of +it, and asked him therefore, with some tone of interest in her voice, +from whom it had come. But Mr Amedroz was fretful at the moment, and +instead of answering her began to complain of his tenant's ill-usage +of him. + +'What has he got his cart there for? I haven't let him the road up to +the hall door. I suppose he will bring his things into the parlour +next.' + +'I rather like it, papa.' + +'Do you? I can only say that you're lucky in your tastes. I don't +like it, I can tell you.' + +'Mr Stovey is out there. Shall I ask him to have the things moved +farther off?' + +'No, my dear no. I must bear it, as I do all the rest of it. What +does it matter? There'll be an end of it soon. He pays his rent, and +I suppose he is right to do as he pleases. But I can't say that I +like it.' + +'Am I to see the letter, papa?' she asked, wishing to turn his mind +from the subject of the hay-cart. + +'Well, yes. I brought it for you to see; though perhaps I should be +doing better if I burned it, and said nothing more about it. It is a +most impudent production; and heartless very heartless.' + +Clara was accustomed to such complaints as these from her father. +Everything that everybody did around him he would call heartless. The +man pitied himself so much in his own misery, that he expected to +live in an atmosphere of pity from others; and though the pity +doubtless was there, he misdoubted it. He thought that Farmer Stovey +was cruel in that he had left the hay-cart near the house, to wound +his eyes by reminding him that he was no longer master of the ground +before his own hall door. He thought that the women and children were +cruel to chatter so near his ears. He almost accused his daughter of +cruelty, because she had told him that she liked the contiguity of +the hay-making. Under such circumstances as those which enveloped him +and her, was it not heartless in her to like anything? It seemed to +him that the whole world of Belton should be drowned in woe because +of his misery. + +'Where is it from, papa?' she asked. + +'There, you may read it. Perhaps it is better that you should know +that it has been written.' Then she read the letter, which was as +follows:-- + + +'Plaistow Hall, -- July, 186--.' + + +Though she had never before seen the handwriting, she knew at once +from whence came the letter, for she had often heard of Plaistow +Hall. It was the name of the farm at which her distant cousin, Will +Belton, lived, and her father had more than once been at the trouble +of explaining to her, that though the place was called a hall, the +house was no more than a farmhouse. He had never seen Plaistow Hall, +and had never been in Norfolk; but so much he could take upon himself +to say, 'They call all the farms halls down there.' It was not +wonderful that he should dislike his heir; and perhaps not unnatural +that he should show his dislike after this fashion. Clara, when she +read the address, looked up into her father's face. 'You know who it +is now,' he said. And then she read the letter. + + +'Plaistow Hall, -- July, 186--. + +'My dear Sir, + +'I have not written to you before since your bereavement, thinking it +better to wait awhile; but I hope you have not taken me to be unkind +in this, or have supposed me to be unmindful of your sorrow. Now I +take up my pen, hoping that I may make you understand how greatly I +was distressed by what has occurred. I believe I am now the nearest +male relative that you have, and as such I am very anxious to be of +service to you if it may be possible. Considering the closeness of +our connexion, and my position in reference to the property, it seems +bad that we should never meet. I can assure you that you would find +me very friendly if we could manage to come together. + +'I should think nothing of running across to Belton, if you would +receive me at your house. I could come very well before harvest, if +that would suit you, and would stay with you for a week. Pray give my +kindest regards to my cousin Clara, whom I can only just remember as +a very little girl. She was with her aunt at Perivale when I was at +Belton as a boy. She shall find a friend in me if she wants a friend. + +'Your affectionate cousin, + +'W. BELTON.' + + +Clara read the letter very slowly, so that she might make herself +sure of its tone and bearing before she was called upon by her father +to express her feeling respecting it. She knew that she would be +expected to abuse it violently, and to accuse the writer of +vulgarity, insolence, and cruelty, but she had already learned that +she must not allow herself to accede to all her father's fantasies. +For his sake, and for his protection, it was necessary that she +should differ from him, and even contradict him. Were she not to do +so, he would fall into a state of wailing and complaining that would +exaggerate itself almost to idiotcy. And it was imperative that she +herself should exercise her own opinion on many points, almost +without reference to him. She alone knew how utterly destitute she +would be when he should die. He, in the first days of his agony, had +sobbed forth his remorse as to her ruin; but, even when doing so, he +had comforted himself with the remembrance of Miss Winterfield's +money and Mrs Winterfield's affection for his daughter. And the aunt, +when she had declared her purpose to Clara, had told herself that the +provision made for Clara by her father was sufficient. To neither of +them had Clara told her own position. She could not inform her aunt +that her father had given up to the poor reprobate who had destroyed +himself all that had been intended for her. Had she done so she would +have been asking her aunt for charity. Nor would she bring herself to +add to her father's misery, by destroying the hopes which still +supported him. She never spoke of her own position in regard to +money, but she knew that it had become her duty to live a wary, +watchful life, taking much upon herself in their impoverished +household, and holding her own opinion against her father's when her +doing so became expedient. So she finished the letter in silence, and +did not speak at the moment when the movement of her eyes declared +that she had completed the task. + +'Well?' said he. + +'I do not think my cousin means badly.' + +'You don't! I do, then. I think he means very badly. What business +has he to write to me, talking of his position?' + +'I can't see anything amiss in his doing so, papa. I think he wishes +to be friendly. The property will be his some day, and I don't see +why that should not be mentioned, when there is occasion.' + +'Upon my word, Clara, you surprise me. But women never understood +delicacy in regard to money. They have so little to do with it, and +think so little about it, that they have no occasion for such +delicacy.' + +Clara could not help the thought that to her mind the subject was +present with sufficient frequency to make delicacy very desirable, if +only it were practicable. But of this she said nothing. 'And what +answer will you send to him, papa?' she asked. + +'None at all. Why should I trouble myself to write to him?' + +'I will take the trouble off your hands.' + +'And what will you say to him?' + +'I will ask him to come here, as he proposes.' + +'Clara!' + +'Why not, papa? He is the heir to the property, and why should he not +be permitted to see it? There are many things in which his +co-operation with you might be a comfort to you. I can't tell you +whether the tenants and people are treating you well, but he can do +so; and, moreover, I think he means to be kind. I do not see why we +should quarrel with our cousin because he is the heir to your +property. It is not through any doing of his own that he is so.' + +This reasoning had no effect upon Mr Amedroz, but his daughter's +resolution carried the point against him in spite of his want of +reason. No letter was written that day, or on the next; but on the +day following a formal note was sent off by Clara, in which Mr Belton +was told that Mr Amedroz would be happy to receive him at Belton +Castle. The letter was written by the daughter, but the father was +responsible for the formality. He sat over her while she wrote it, +and nearly drove her distracted by discussing every word and phrase. +At last, Clara was so annoyed with her own production, that she was +almost tempted to write another letter unknown to her father; but the +formal note went. + + +'My Dear Sir + +'I am desired by my father to say that he will be happy to receive +you at Belton Castle, at the time fixed by yourself. + +'Yours truly, + +'CLARA AMEDROZ.' + + +There was no more than that, but that had the desired effect; and by +return of post there came a rejoinder saying that Will Belton would +be at the Castle on the fifteenth of August. 'They can do without me +for about ten days,' he said in his postscript, writing in a familiar +tone, which did not seem to have been at all checked by the coldness +of his cousin's note 'as our harvest will be late; but I must be back +for a week's work before the partridges.' + +'Heartless! quite heartless!' Mr Amedroz said as he read this. +'Partridges! to talk of partridges at such a time as this!' + +Clara, however, would not acknowledge that she agreed with her +father; but she could not altogether restrain a feeling on her own +part that her cousin's good humour towards her and Mr Amedroz should +have been repressed by the tone of her letter to him. The man was to +come, however, and she would not judge of him until he was there. + +In one house in the neighbourhood, and in only one, had Miss Amedroz +a friend with whom she was intimate; and as regarded even this single +friend, the intimacy was the effect rather of circumstances than of +real affection. She liked Mrs Askerton, and saw her almost daily; but +she could hardly tell herself that she loved her neighbour. + +In the little town of Belton, close to the church, there stood a +pretty, small house, called Belton Cottage. It was so near the church +that strangers always supposed it to be the parsonage; but the +rectory stood away out in the country, half a mile from the town, on +the road to Redicote, and was a large house, three stories high, with +grounds of its own, and very ugly. Here lived the old bachelor +rector, seventy years of age, given much to long absences when he +could achieve them, and never on good terms with his bishop. His two +curates lived at Redicote, where there was a second church. Belton +Cottage, which was occupied by Colonel Askerton and Mrs Askerton, was +on the Amedroz property, and had been hired some two years since by +the Colonel, who was then a stranger in the country and altogether +unknown to the Belton people. But he had come there for shooting, and +therefore his coming had been understood. Even as long ago as two +years since, there had been neither use nor propriety in keeping the +shooting for the squire's son, and it had been let with the cottage +to Colonel Askerton. So Colonel Askerton had come there with his +wife, and no one in the neighbourhood had known anything about them. +Mr Amedroz, with his daughter, had called upon them, and gradually +there had grown up an intimacy between Clara and Mrs Askerton. There +was an opening from the garden of Belton Cottage into the park, so +that familiar intercourse was easy, and Mrs Askerton was a woman who +knew well how to make herself pleasant to such another woman as Miss +Amedroz. + +The reader may as well know at ones that rumours prejudicial to the +Askertons reached Belton before they had been established there for +six months. At Taunton, which was twenty miles distant, these rumours +were very rife, and there were people there who knew with accuracy +though probably without a grain of truth in their accuracy every +detail in the history of Mrs Askerton's life. And something, too, +reached Clara's ears something from old Mr Wright, the rector, who +loved scandal, and was very ill-natured. 'A very nice woman,' the +rector had said; 'but she does not seem to have any belongings in +particular.' 'She has got a husband,' Clara had replied with some +little indignation, for she had never loved Mr Wright. 'Yes; I +suppose she has got a husband.' Then Clara had, in her own judgment, +accused the rector of lying, evil-speaking, and slandering, and had +increased the measure of her cordiality to Mrs Askerton. But +something more she had heard on the same subject at Perivale. 'Before +you throw yourself into close intimacy with the lady, I think you +should know something about her,' Mrs Winterfield had said to her. +'I do know something about her; I know that she has the manners and +education of a lady, and that she is living affectionately with her +husband, who is devoted to her. What more ought I to know?' 'If you +really do know all that, you know a great deal,' Mrs Winterfield had +replied. + +'Do you know anything against her, aunt?' Clara asked, after a pause. + +There was another pause before Mrs Winterfield answered. 'No, my +dear; I cannot say that I do. But I think that young ladies, before +they make intimate friendships, should be very sure of their +friends.' + +'You have already acknowledged that I know a great deal about her,' +Clara replied. And then the conversation was at an end. Clara had not +been quite ingenuous, as she acknowledged to herself. She was aware +that her aunt would not permit herself to repeat rumours as to the +truth of which she had no absolute knowledge. She understood that the +weakness of her aunt's caution was due to the old lady's sense of +charity and dislike of slander. But Clara had buckled on her armour +for Mrs Askerton, and was glad, therefore, to achieve her little +victory. When we buckle on our armour in any cause, we are apt to go +on buckling it, let the cause become as weak as it may; and Clara +continued her intimacy with Mrs Askerton, although there was +something in the lady's modes of speech, and something also in her +modes of thinking, which did not quite satisfy the aspirations of +Miss Amedroz as to a friend. + +Colonel Askerton himself was a pleasant, quiet man, who seemed to be +contented with the life which he was leading. For six weeks in April +and May he would go up to town, leaving Mrs Askerton at the cottage +as to which, probably jovial, absence in the metropolis there seemed +to be no spirit of grudging on the part of the wife. On the first of +September a friend would come to the cottage and remain there for six +weeks' shooting: and during the winter the Colonel and his wife +always went to Paris for a fortnight. Such had been their life for +the last two years; and thus so said Mrs Askerton to Clara did they +intend to live as long as they could keep the cottage at Belton. +Society at Belton they had none, and as they said desired none. +Between them and Mr Wright there was only a speaking acquaintance. +The married curate at Redicote would not let his wife call on Mrs +Askerton, and the unmarried curate was a hard-worked, clerical hack, +a parochial minister at all times and seasons, who went to no houses +except the houses of the poor, and who would hold communion with no +man, and certainly with no woman, who would not put up with clerical +admonitions for Sunday backslidings. Mr Amedroz himself neither +received guests nor went as a guest to other men's houses. He would +occasionally stand for a while at the gate of the Colonel's garden, +and repeat the list of his own woes as long as his neighbour would +stand there to hear it. But there was no society at Belton, and +Clara, as far as she herself was aware, was the only person with whom +Mrs Askerton held any social intercourse, except what she might have +during her short annual holiday in Paris. + +'Of course, you are right,' she said, when Clara told her of the +proposed coming of Mr Belton. 'If he turn out to be a good fellow, +you will have gained a great deal. And should he be a bad fellow, +you will have lost nothing. In either case you will know him, and +considering how he stands towards you, that itself is desirable.' + +'But if he should annoy papa?' + +'In your papa's condition, my dear, the coming of any one will annoy +him. At least, he will say so; though I do not in the least doubt +that he will like the excitement better even than you will.' + +'I can't say there will be much excitement to me.' + +'No excitement in a young man's coming into the house! Without +shocking your propriety, allow me to say that that is impossible. Of +course, he is coming to see whether he can't make matters all right +by marrying you.' + +'That's nonsense, Mrs Askerton.' + +'Very well. Let it be nonsense. But why shouldn't he? It's just what +he ought to do. He hasn't got a wife; and, as far as I know, you +haven't got a lover.' + +'I certainly have not got a lover.' + +'Our religious nephew at Perivale does not seem to be of any use.' + +'I wish, Mrs Askerton, you would not speak of Captain Aylmer in that +way. I don't know any man whom I like so much, or at any rate better, +than Captain Aylmer; but I hate the idea that no girl can become +acquainted with an unmarried man without having her name mentioned +with his, and having to hear ill-natured remarks of that kind.' + +'I hope you will learn to like this other man much better. Think how +nice it will be to be mistress of the old place after all. And then +to go back to the old family name! If I were you I would make up my +mind not to let him leave the place till I had brought him to my +feet.' + +'If you go on like that I will not speak to you about him again.' + +'Or rather not to my feet for gentlemen have laid aside the humble +way of making love for the last twenty years at least; but I don't +know whether the women haven't gained quite as much by the change as +the men.' + +'As I know nothing will stop you when you once get into a vein of +that kind, I shall go,' said Clara. 'And till this man has come and +gone I shall not mention his name again in your presence.' + +'So be it,' said Mrs Askerton; 'but as I will promise to say nothing +more about him, you need not go on his account.' But Clara had got +up, and did leave the cottage at once. + + + +CHAPTER III + +WILL BELTON + +Mr Belton came to the castle, and nothing further had been said at +the cottage about his coming. Clara had seen Mrs Askerton in the +meantime frequently, but that lady had kept her promise almost to +Clara's disappointment. For she though she had in truth disliked the +proposition that her cousin could be coming with any special views +with reference to herself had nevertheless sufficient curiosity about +the stranger to wish to talk about him. Her father, indeed, mentioned +Belton's name very frequently, saying something with reference to him +every time he found himself in his daughter's presence. A dozen times +he said that the man was heartless to come to the house at such a +time, and he spoke of his cousin always as though the man were guilty +of a gross injustice in being heir to the property. But not the less +on that account did he fidget himself about the room in which Belton +was to sleep, about the food that Belton was to eat, and especially +about the wine that Belton was to drink. What was he to do for wine? +The stock of wine in the cellars at Belton Castle was, no doubt, very +low. The squire himself drank a glass or two of port daily, and had +some remnant of his old treasures by him, which might perhaps last +him his time; and occasionally there came small supplies of sherry +from the grocer at Taunton; but Mr Amedroz pretended to think that +Will Belton would want champagne and claret and he would continue to +make these suggestions in spite of his own repeated complaints that +the man was no better than an ordinary farmer. 'I've no doubt he'll +like beer,' said Clara. 'Beer!' said her father, and then stopped +himself, as though he were lost in doubt whether it would best suit +him to scorn his cousin for having so low a taste as that suggested +on his behalf, or to ridicule his daughter's idea that the household +difficulty admitted of so convenient a solution. + +The day of the arrival at last came, and Clara certainly was in a +twitter, although she had steadfastly resolved that she would be in +no twitter at all. She had told her aunt by letter of the proposed +visit, and Mrs Winterfield had expressed her approbation, saying that +she hoped it would lead to good results. Of what good results could +her aunt be thinking? The one probable good result would surely be +this that relations so nearly connected should know each other. Why +should there be any fuss made about such a visit? But, nevertheless, +Clara, though she made no outward fuss, knew that inwardly she was +not as calm about the man's coming as she would have wished herself +to be. + +He arrived about five o'clock in a gig from Taunton. Five was the +ordinary dinner hour at Belton, but it had been postponed till six on +this day, in the hope that the cousin might make his appearance at +any rate by that hour. Mr Amedroz had uttered various complaints as +to the visitor's heartlessness in not having written to name the hour +of his arrival, and was manifestly intending to make the most of the +grievance should he not present himself before six but this +indulgence was cut short by the sound of the gig wheels. Mr Amedroz +and his daughter were sitting in a small drawing-room which looked +out to the front of the house, and he, seated in his accustomed chair +near the window, could see the arrival. For a moment or two he +remained quiet in his chair, as though he would not allow so +insignificant a thing as his cousin's coming to ruffle him but he +could not maintain this dignified indifference, and before Belton was +out of the gig he had shuffled out into the hall. + +Clara followed her father almost unconsciously, and soon found +herself shaking hands with a big man, over six feet high, broad in +the shoulders, large limbed, with bright quick grey eyes, a large +mouth, teeth almost too perfect and a well-formed nose, with thick +short brown hair and small whiskers which came half-way down his +cheeks a decidedly handsome man with a florid face, but still, +perhaps, with something of the promised roughness of the farmer. But +a more good-humoured looking countenance Clara felt at once that she +had never beheld. + +'And you are the little girl that I remember when I was a boy at Mr +Folliott's?' he said. His voice was clear, and rather loud, but it +sounded very pleasant in that sad old house. + +'Yes; I am the little girl,' said Clara smiling. + +'Dear, dear! and that's twenty years ago now,' said he. + +'But you oughtn't to remind me of that, Mr Belton.' + +'Oughtn't I? Why not?' + +'Because it shows how very old I am.' + +'Ah, yes to be sure. But there's nobody here that signifies. How well +I remember this room and the old tower out there. It isn't changed a +bit!' + +'Not to the outward eye, perhaps,' said the squire. + +'That's what I mean. So they're making hay still. Our hay has been +all up these three weeks. I didn't know you ever meadowed the park.' +Here he trod with dreadful severity upon the corns of Mr Amedroz, but +he did not perceive it. And when the squire muttered something about +a tenant, and the inconvenience of keeping land in his own hands, +Belton would have gone on with the subject had not Clara changed the +conversation. The squire complained bitterly of this to Clara when +they were alone, saying that it was very heartless. + +She had a little scheme of her own a plan arranged for the saying of +a few words to her cousin on the earliest opportunity of their being +alone together and she contrived that this should take place within +half an hour after his arrival, as he went through the hall up to his +room. 'Mr Belton,' she said, 'I'm sure you will not take it amiss if +I take a cousin's privilege at once and explain to you something of +our way of living here. My dear father is not very strong.' + +'He is much altered since I saw him last.' + +'Oh, yes. Think of all that he has had to bear! Well, Mr Belton, the +fact is, that we are not so well off as we used to be, and are +obliged to live in a very quiet way. You will not mind that?' + +'Who? I?' + +'I take it very kind of you, your coming all this way to see us--' + +'I'd have come three times the distance.' + +'But you must put up with us as you find us, you know. The truth is +we are very poor.' + +'Well, now that's just what I wanted to know. One couldn't write and +ask such a question; but I was sure I should find out if I came.' + +'You've found it out already, you see.' + +'As for being poor, it's a thing I don't think very much about not +for young people. But it isn't comfortable when a man gets old. Now +what I want to know is this; can't something be done?' + +'The only thing to do is to be very kind to him. He has had to let +the park to Mr Stovey, and he doesn't like talking about it.' + +'But if it isn't talked about, how can it be mended?' + +'It can't be mended.' + +'We'll see about that. But I'll be kind to him; you see if I ain't. +And I'll tell you what, I'll be kind to you too, if you'll let me. +You have got no brother now.' + +'No,' said Clara; 'I have got no brother now.' Belton was looking +full into her face, and saw that her eyes had become clouded with +tears. + +'I will be your brother,' said he. 'You see if I don't. When I say a +thing I mean it. I will be your brother.' And he took her hand, +caressing it, and showing her that he was not in the least afraid of +her. He was blunt in his bearing, saying things which her father +would have called indelicate and heartless, as though they gave him +no effort, and placing himself at once almost in a position of +ascendency. This Clara had not intended. She had thought that her +farmer cousin, in spite of the superiority of his prospects as heir +to the property, would have acceded to her little hints with silent +acquiescence; but instead of this he seemed prepared to take upon +himself the chief part in the play that was to be acted between them. +'Shall it be so?' he said, still holding her hand. + +'You are very kind.' + +'I will be more than kind; I will love you dearly if you will let me. +You don't suppose that I have looked you up here for nothing. Blood +is thicker than water, and you have nobody now so near to you as I +am. I don't see why you should be so poor, as the debts have been +paid.' + +'Papa has had to borrow money on his life interest in the place.' + +'That's the mischief! Never mind. We'll see if we can't do something. +And in the meantime don't make a stranger of me. Anything does for +me. Lord bless you! if you were to see how I rough it sometimes! I +can eat beans and bacon with any one; and what's more, I can go +without 'em if I can't get 'em.' + +'We'd better get ready for dinner now. I always dress, because papa +likes to see it.' This she said as a hint to her cousin that he would +be expected to change his coat, for her father would have been +annoyed had his guest sat down to dinner without such ceremony. Will +Belton was not very good at taking hints; but he did understand this, +and made the necessary change in his apparel. + +The evening was long and dull, and nothing occurred worthy of remark +except the surprise manifested by Mr Amedroz when Belton called his +daughter by her Christian name. This he did without the slightest +hesitation, as though it were the most natural thing in the world for +him to do. She was his cousin, and cousins of course addressed each +other in that way. Clara's quick eye immediately saw her father's +slight gesture of dismay, but Belton caught nothing of this. The +squire took an early opportunity of calling him Mr Belton with some +little peculiarity of expression; but this was altogether lost on +Will, who five times in the next five minutes addressed 'Clara' as +though they were already on the most intimate terms. She would have +answered him in the same way, and would have called him Will, had she +not been afraid of offending her father. + +Mr Amedroz had declared his purpose of coming down to breakfast +during the period of his cousin's visit, and at half-past nine he was +in the parlour. Clara had been there some time, but had not seen her +cousin. He entered the room immediately after her father, bringing +his hat with him in his hand, and wiping the drops of perspiration +from his brow. 'You have been out, Mr Belton,' said the squire. + +'All round the place, sir. Six o'clock doesn't often find me in bed, +summer or winter. What's the use of laying in bed when one has had +enough of sleep?' + +'But that's just the question,' said Clara; 'whether one has had +enough at six o'clock.' + +'Women want more than men, of course. A man, if he means to do any +good with land, must be out early. The grass will grow of itself at +nights, but it wants looking after as soon as the daylight comes.' + +'I don't know that it would do much good to the grass here,' said the +squire, mournfully. + +'As much here as anywhere. And indeed I've got something to say about +that.' He had now seated himself at the breakfast-table, and was +playing with his knife and fork. 'I think, sir, you're hardly making +the best you can out of the park.' + +'We won't mind talking about it, if you please,' said the squire. + +'Well; of course I won't, if you don't like it; but upon my word you +ought to look about you; you ought indeed.' + +'In what way do you mean?' said Clara. + +'If your father doesn't like to keep the land in his own hands, he +should let it to some one who would put stock in it not go on cutting +it year after year and putting nothing back, as this fellow will do. +I've been talking to Stovey, and that's just what he means.' + +'Nobody here has got money to put stock on the land,' said the +squire, angrily. + +'Then you should look for somebody somewhere else. That's all. I'll +tell you what now, Mr Amedroz, I'll do it myself.' By this time he +had helped himself to two large slices of cold mutton, and was eating +his breakfast and talking with an equal amount of energy for either +occupation. + +'That's out of the question,' said the squire. + +'I don't see why it should be out of the question. It would be better +for you and better for me too, if this place is ever to be mine.' On +hearing this the squire winced, but said nothing. This terrible +fellow was so vehemently outspoken that the poor old man was +absolutely unable to keep pace with him even to the repeating of his +wish that the matter should be talked of no further. 'I'll tell you +what I'll do, now,' continued Belton. 'There's altogether, outside +the palings and in, about a hundred and fifty acres of it. I'll give +you one pound two and sixpence an acre, and I won't cut an acre of +grass inside the park no, nor much of it outside either only just +enough to give me a little fodder for the cattle in winter.' + +'And give up Plaistow Hall?' asked Clara. + +'Lord love you, no. I've a matter of nine hundred acres on hand +there, and most of it under the plough. I've counted it up, and it +would just cost me a thousand pounds to stock this place. I should +come and look at it twice a year or so, and I should see my money +home again, if I didn't get any profit out of it.' + +Mr Amedroz was astonished. The man had only been in his house one +night, and was proposing to take all his troubles off his hands. He +did not relish the proposition at all. He did not like to be accused +of not doing as well for himself as others could do for him. He did +not wish to make any change although he remembered at the moment his +anger with Farmer Stovey respecting the haycarts. He did not desire +that the heir should have any immediate interest in the place. But he +was not strong enough to meet the proposition with a direct negative. +'I couldn't get rid of Stovey in that way,' he said, plaintively. +I've settled it all with Stovey already,' said Belton. 'He'll be glad +enough to walk off with a twenty-pound note, which I'll give him. He +can't make money out of the place. He hasn't got means to stock it, +and then see the wages that hay-making runs away with! He'd lose by +it even at what he's paying, and he knows it. There won't be any +difficulty about Stovey.' + +By twelve o'clock on that day Mr Stovey had been brought into the +house, and had resigned the land. It had been let to Mr William +Belton at an increased rental a rental increased by nearly forty +pounds per annum and that gentleman had already made many of his +arrangements for entering upon his tenancy. The twenty pounds had +already been paid to Stovey, and the transaction was complete. Mr +Amedroz sat in his chair bewildered, dismayed and, as he himself +declared shocked, quite shocked, at the precipitancy of the young +man. It might be for the best. He didn't know. He didn't feel at all +sure. But such hurrying in such a matter was, under all the +circumstances of the family, to say the least of it, very indelicate. +He was angry with himself for having yielded, and angry with Clara +for having allowed him to do so. 'It doesn't signify much,' he said, +at last. 'Of course he'll have it all to himself before long.' + +'But, papa, it really seems to be a much better arrangement for you. +You'll get more money.' + +'Money is not everything, my dear.' + +'But you'd sooner have Mr Belton, our own cousin, about the place, +than Mr Stovey.' + +'I don't know. We shall see. The thing is done now, and there is no +use in complaining. I must say he hasn't shown a great deal of +delicacy.' + +On that afternoon Belton asked Clara to go out with him, and walk +round the place. He had been again about the grounds, and had made +plans, and counted up capabilities, and calculated his profit and +losses. 'If you don't dislike scrambling about,' said he, 'I'll show +you everything that I intend to do.' + +'But I can't have any changes made, Mr Belton,' said Mr Amedroz, with +some affectation of dignity in his manner. 'I won't have the fences +moved, or anything of that kind.' + +'Nothing shall be done, sir, that you don't approve. I'll just manage +it all as if I was acting as your own bailiff.' 'Son,' he was going +to say, but he remembered the fate of his cousin Charles just in time +to prevent the use of the painful word. + +'I don't want to have anything done,' said Mr Amedroz. + +'Then nothing shall be done. We'll just mend a fence or two, to keep +in the cattle, and leave other things as they are. But perhaps Clara +will walk out with me all the same.' + +Clara was quite ready to walk out, and had already tied on her hat +and taken her parasol. + +'Your father is a little nervous,' said he, as soon as they were +beyond hearing of the house. + +'Can you wonder at it, when you remember all that he has suffered.' + +'I don't wonder at it in the least; and I don't wonder at his +disliking me either.' + +'I don't think he dislikes you, Mr Belton.' + +'Oh, but he does. Of course he does. I'm the heir to the place +instead of you. It is natural that he should dislike me. But I'll +live it down. You see if I don't. I'll make him so fond of me, he'll +always want to have me here. I don't mind a little dislike to begin +with.' + +'You're a wonderful man, Mr Belton.' + +'I wish you wouldn't call me Mr Belton. But of course you must do as +you please about that. If I can make him call me Will, I suppose +you'll call me so too.' + +'Oh, yes; then I will.' + +'It don't much matter what a person is called; does it! Only one +likes to be friendly with one's friends. I suppose you don't like my +calling you Clara.' + +'Now you've begun you had better go on.' + +'I mean to. I make it a rule never to go back in the world. Your +father is half sorry that he has agreed about the place; but I shan't +let him off now. And I'll tell you what. In spite of what he says, +I'll have it as different as possible before this time next year. +'Why, there's lots of timber that ought to come out of the +plantation; and there's places where the roots want stubbing up +horribly. These things always pay for themselves if they are properly +done. Any good done in the world always pays.' Clara often remembered +those words afterwards when she was thinking of her cousin's +character. Any good done in the world always pays! + +'But you mustn't offend my father, even though it should do good,' +she said. + +'I understand,' he answered. 'I won't tread on his toes. Where do you +get your milk and butter?' + +'We buy them.' + +'From Stovey, I suppose.' + +'Yes; from Mr Stovey. It goes against the rent.' + +'And it ought to go against the grain too living in the country and +paying for milk! I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll give you a cow. It +shall be a little present from me to you.' He said nothing of the +more important present which this would entail upon him in the matter +of the grass for the cow; but she understood the nature of the +arrangement, and was anxious to prevent it. + +'Oh, Mr Belton, I think we'd better not attempt that,' she said. + +'But we will attempt it. I've pledged myself to do nothing to oppose +your father; but I've made no such promise as to you. We'll have a +cow before I'm many days older. What a pretty place this is! I do +like these rocks so much, and it is such a comfort to be off the +flat.' + +'It is pretty.' + +'Very pretty. You've no conception what an ugly place Plaistow is. +The land isn't actual fen now, but it was once. And it's quite flat. +And there is a great dike, twenty feet wide, oozing through it just +oozing, you know; and lots of little dikes, at right angles with the +big one. And the fields are all square. And there are no hedges and +hardly a tree to be seen in the place. + +'What a picture you have drawn! I should commit suicide if I lived +there.' + +'Not if you had so much to do as I have.' + +'And what is the house like?' + +'The house is good enough an old-fashioned manor-house, with high +brick chimneys, and brick gables, tiled all over, and large square +windows set in stone. The house is good enough, only it stands in the +middle of a farm-yard. I said there were no trees, but there is an +avenue.' + +'Come, that is something.' + +'It was an old family seat, and they used to have avenues in those +days; but it doesn't lead up to the present hail door. It comes +sideways up to the farm-yard; so that the whole thing must have been +different once, and there must have been a great court-yard. In +Elizabeth's time Plaistow Manor was rather a swell place, and +belonged to some Roman Catholics who came to grief, and then the +Howards got it. There's a whole history about it, only I don't care +much about those things.' + +'And is it yours now?' + +'It's between me and my uncle, and I pay him rent for his part. He's +a clergyman you know, and he has a living in Lincolnshire not far +off.' + +'And do you live alone in that big house?' + +'There's my sister. You've heard of Mary haven't you?' + +Then Clara remembered that there was a Miss Belton, a poor sickly +creature, with a twisted spine and a hump back, as to whose welfare +she ought to have made inquiries. + +'Oh yes; of course,' said Clara. 'I hope she's better than she used +to be when we heard of her.' + +'She'll never be better. But then she does not become much worse. I +think she does grow a little weaker. She's older than I am, you know +two years older; but you would think she was quite an old woman to +look at her.' Then, for the next half-hour, they talked about Mary +Belton as they visited every corner of the place. Belton still had an +eye to business as he went on talking, and Clara remarked how many +sticks he moved as he went, how many stones he kicked on one side, +and how invariably he noted any defect in the fences. But still he +talked of his sister, swearing that she was as good as gold, and at +last wiping away the tears from his eyes as he described her +maladies. 'And yet I believe she is better off than any of us,' he +said, 'because she is so good.' Clara began to wish that she had +called him Will from the beginning, because she liked him so much. He +was just the man to have for a cousin a true loving cousin, stalwart, +self-confident, with a grain or two of tyranny in his composition as +becomes a man in relation to his intimate female relatives; and one, +moreover, with whom she could trust herself to be familiar without +any danger of love-making! She saw his character clearly, and told +herself that she understood it perfectly. He was a jewel of a cousin, +and she must begin to call him Will as speedily as possible. + +At last they came round in their walk to the gate leading into +Colonel Askerton's garden; and here in the garden, close to the gate, +they found Mrs Askerton. I fancy that she had been watching for them, +or at any rate watching for Clara, so that she might know how her +friend was carrying herself with her cousin. She came at once to the +wicket, and there she was introduced by Clara to Mr Belton. Mr +Belton, as he made his bow, muttered something awkwardly, and seemed +to lose his self-possession for the moment. Mrs Askerton was very +gracious to him, and she knew well how to be both gracious and +ungracious. She talked about the scenery, and the charms of the old +place, and the dullness of the people around them, and the +inexpediency of looking for society in country places; till after +awhile Mr Belton was once more at his ease. + +'How is Colonel Askerton?' asked Clara. + +'He's in-doors. Will you come and see him? He's reading a French +novel, as usual. It's the only thing he ever does in summer. Do you +ever read French novels, Mr Belton?' + +'I read very little at all, and when I do I read English.' + +'Ah, you're a man who has a pursuit in life, no doubt.' + +'I should rather think so that is, if you mean, by a pursuit, earning +my bread. A man has not much time for French novels with a thousand +acres of land on his hands; even if he knew how to read French, which +I don't.' + +'But you're not always at work on your farm?' + +'It's pretty constant, Mrs Askerton. Then I shoot, and hunt.' + +'You're a sportsman?' + +'All men living in the country are more or less.' + +'Colonel Askerton shoots a great deal. He has the shooting of Belton, +you know. He'll be delighted, I'm sure, to see you if you are here +some time in September. But you, coming from Norfolk, would not care +for partridge-shooting in Somersetshire.' + +'I don't see why it shouldn't be as good here as there.' + +'Colonel Askerton thinks he has got a fair head of game upon the +place.' + +'I dare say. Game is easily kept if people knew how to set about it.' + +'Colonel Askerton has a very good keeper, and has gone to a great +deal of expense since he has been here.' + +'I'm my own head-keeper,' said Belton;' and so I will be or rather +should be, if I had this place.' + +Something in the lady's tone had grated against his feelings and +offended him; or perhaps he thought that she assumed too many of the +airs of proprietorship because the shooting of the place had been let +to her husband for thirty pounds a year. + +'I hope you don't mean to say you'll turn us out,' said Mrs Askerton, +laughing. + +'I have no power to turn anybody out or in,' said he. 'I've got +nothing to do with it.' + +Clara, perceiving that matters were not going quite pleasantly +between her old and new friend, thought it best to take her +departure. Belton, as he went, lifted his hat from his head, and +Clara could not keep herself from thinking that he was not only very +handsome, but that he looked very much like a gentleman, in spite of +his occupation as a farmer. + +'Bye-bye, Clara,' said Mrs Askerton; 'come down and see me tomorrow, +there's a dear. Don't forget what a dull life I have of it.' Clara +said that she would come. And I shall be so happy to see Mr Belton if +he will call before he leaves you.' At this Belton again raised his +hat from his head, and muttered some word or two of civility. But +this, his latter muttering, was different from the first, for he had +altogether regained his presence of mind. + +'You didn't seem to get on very well with my friend,' said Clara, +laughing, as soon as they had turned away from the cottage. + +'Well, no that is to say, not particularly well or particularly +badly. At first I took her for somebody else I knew slightly ever so +long ago, and I was thinking of that other person at the time.' + +'And what was the other person's name?' + +'I can't even remember that at the present moment.' + +'Mrs Askerton was a Miss Oliphant.' + +'That wasn't the other lady's name. But, independently of that, they +can't be the same. The other lady married a Mr Berdmore.' + +'A Mr Berdmore!' Clara as she repeated the name felt convinced that +she had heard it before, and that she had heard it in connexion with +Mrs Askerton. She certainly had heard the name of Berdmore +pronounced, or had seen it written, or had in some shape come across +the name in Mrs Askerton's presence; or at any rate somewhere on the +premises occupied by that lady. More than this she could not +remember; but the name, as she had now heard it from her cousin, +became at once distinctly connected in her memory with her friends at +the cottage. + +'Yes,' said Belton; 'a Berdmore. I knew more of him than of her, +though for the matter of that, I knew very little of him either. She +was a fast-going girl, and his friends were very sorry. But I think +they are both dead or divorced, or that they have come to grief in +some way.' + +'And is Mrs Askerton like the fast-going lady?' + +'In a certain way. Not that I remember what the fast-going lady was +like; but there was something about this woman that put me in mind of +the other. Vigo was her name; now I recollect it a Miss Vigo. It's +nine or ten years ago now, and I was little more than a boy.' + +'Her name was Oliphant.' + +'I don't suppose they have anything to do with each other. What riled +me was the way she talked of the shooting. People do when they take a +little shooting. They pay some trumpery thirty or forty pounds a +year, and then they seem to think that it's almost the same as though +they owned the property themselves. I've known a man talk of his +manor because he had the shooting of a wood and a small farm round +it. They are generally shop-keepers out of London, gin distillers, or +brewers, or people like that.' + +'Why, Mr Belton, I didn't think you could be so furious! + +'Can't I? When my back's up, it is up! But it isn't up yet.' + +'And I hope it won't be up while you remain in Somersetshire.' + +'I won't answer for that. There's Stovey's empty cart standing just +where it stood yesterday; and he promised he'd have it home before +three today. My back will be up with him if he doesn't mind himself.' + +It was nearly six o'clock when they got back to the house, and Clara +was surprised to find that she had been out three hours with her +cousin. Certainly it had been very pleasant. The usual companion of +her walks, when she had a companion, was Mrs Askerton; but Mrs +Askerton did not like real walking. She would creep about the grounds +for an hour or so, and even such companionship as that was better to +Clara than absolute solitude; but now she had been carried about the +place, getting over stiles and through gates, and wandering through +the copses, till she was tired and hungry, and excited and happy. +'Oh, papa,' she said, 'we have had such a walk!' + +'I thought we were to have dined at five,' he replied, in a low +wailing voice. + +'No, papa, indeed indeed you said six.' + +'That was for yesterday.' + +'You said we were to make it six while Mr Belton was here.' + +'Very well if it must be, I suppose it must be.' + +'You don't mean on my account,' said Will. 'I'll undertake to eat my +dinner, sir, at any hour that you'll undertake to give it me. If +there's a strong point about me at all, it is my appetite.' + +Clara, when she went to her father's room that evening, told him what +Mr Belton had said about the shooting, knowing that her father's +feelings would agree with those which had been expressed by her +cousin. Mr Amedroz of course made this an occasion for further +grumbling, suggesting that Belton wanted to get the shooting for +himself as he had got the farm. But, nevertheless, the effect which +Clara had intended was produced, and before she left him he had +absolutely proposed that the shooting and the land should go +together. + +'I'm sure that Mr Belton doesn't mean that at all,' said Clara. + +'I don't care what he means,' said the squire. + +'And it wouldn't do to treat Colonel Askerton in that way,' said +Clara. + +'I shall treat him just as I like,' said the squire. + + + +CHAPTER IV + +SAFE AGAINST LOVE-MAKING + +A DEAR cousin, and safe against love-making! This was Clara's verdict +respecting Will Belton, as she lay thinking of him in bed that night. +Why that warranty against love-making should be a virtue in her eyes +I cannot, perhaps, explain. But all young ladies are apt to talk to +themselves in such phrases about gentlemen with whom they are thrown +into chance intimacy,--as though love-making were in itself a thing +injurious and antagonistic to happiness, instead of being, as it is, +the very salt of life. Safe against love-making! And yet Mrs +Askerton, her friend, had spoken of the probability of such +love-making as being the great advantage of his coming. And there +could not be a second opinion as to the expediency of a match between +her and her cousin in a worldly point of view. Clara, moreover, had +already perceived that he was a man fit to guide a wife, very +good-humoured,--and good-tempered also, anxious to give pleasure to +others, a man of energy and forethought, who would be sure to do well +in the world and hold his head always high among his fellows;--as good a +husband as a girl could have. Nevertheless, she congratulated herself +in that she felt satisfied that he was safe against love-making! +Might it be possible that the pressing of hands at Taunton had been +so tender, and those last words spoken with Captain Aylmer so soft, +that on his account she felt delighted to think that her cousin was +warranted not to make love? + +And what did Will Belton think about his cousin, insured as he was +thus supposed to be against the dangers of love? He, also, lay awake +for awhile that night, thinking over his new friendship. Or rather he +thought of it walking about his room, and looking out at the bright +harvest moon for with him to be in bed was to be asleep. He sat +himself down, and he walked about, and he leaned out of the window +into the cool night air; and he made some comparisons in his mind, +and certain calculations; and he thought of his present home, and of +his sister, and of his future prospects as they were concerned with +the old place at which he was now staying; and he portrayed to +himself, in his mind, Clara's head and face and figure and feet and +he resolved that she should be his wife. He had never seen a girl who +seemed to suit him so well. Though he had only been with her for a +day, he swore to himself that he knew he could love her. Nay he swore +to himself that he did love her. Then when he had quite made up his +mind, he tumbled into his bed and was asleep in five minutes. + +Miss Amedroz was a handsome young woman, tall, well-made, active, and +full of health. She carried herself as though she thought her limbs +were made for use, and not simply for ease upon a sofa. Her head and +neck stood well upon her shoulders, and her waist showed none of +those waspish proportions of which ladies used to be more proud than +I believe them to be now, in their more advanced state of knowledge +and taste. There was much about her in which she was like her cousin, +as though the blood they had in common between them had given to both +the same proportions and the same comeliness. Her hair was of a dark +brown colour, as was his. Her eyes were somewhat darker than his, and +perhaps not so full of constant movement; but they were equally +bright, and possessed that quick power of expressing tenderness which +belonged to them. Her nose was more finely cut, as was also her chin, +and the oval of her face; but she had the same large expressive +mouth, and the same perfection of ivory-white teeth. As has been said +before, Clara Amedroz, who was now nearly twenty-six years of age, +was not a young-looking woman. To the eyes of many men that would +have been her fault; but in the eyes of Belton it was no fault. He +had not made himself fastidious as to women by much consort with +them, and he was disposed to think that she who was to become his +wife had better be something more than a girl not long since taken +out of the nursery. He was well-to-do in the world, and could send +his wife out in her carriage, with all becoming bravery of +appurtenances. And he would do so, too, when he should have a wife. +But still he would look to his wife to be a useful partner to him. +She should be a woman not above agricultural solicitude, or too proud +to have a care for her cows. Clara, he was sure, had no false pride; +and yet,--as he was sure also, she was at every point such a lady as +would do honour to the carriage and the bravery when it should be +forthcoming. And then such a marriage as this would put an end to all +the trouble which he felt in reference to the entail on the estate. +He knew that he was to be master of Belton, and of course had, in +that knowledge, the satisfaction which men do feel from the +consciousness of their future prosperity. And this with him was +enhanced by a strong sympathy with old-fashioned prejudices as to +family. He would be Belton of Belton; and there had been Beltons of +Belton in old days, for a longer time backwards than he was able to +count. But still the prospect had not been without its alloy, and he +had felt real distress at the idea of turning his cousin out of her +father's house. Such a marriage as that he now contemplated would put +all these things right. + +When he got up in the morning he was quite as keen about it as he had +been on the previous evening and as he thought about it the more, he +became keener and still more keen. On the previous evening, as he was +leaning out of the window endeavouring to settle in his own mind what +would be the proper conduct of the romance of the thing, he had +considered that he had better not make his proposal quite at once. He +was to remain eight days at Belton, and as eight days was not a long +period of acquaintance, he had reflected that it might be well for +him to lay what foundation for love it might be in his power to +construct during his present sojourn, and then return and complete +the work before Christmas. But as he was shaving himself, the +habitual impatience of his nature predominated, and he became +disposed to think that delay would be useless, and might perhaps be +dangerous. It might be possible that Clara would be unable to give +him a decisive answer so quickly as to enable him to return home an +accepted lover; but if such doubt were left, such doubt would give +him an excuse for a speedy return to Belton. He did not omit to tell +himself that very probably he might not succeed at all. He was a man +not at all apt to feel assurance that he could carry all before him +in love. But in this matter, as in all others which required from him +any personal effort, he prepared himself to do his best, leaving the +consequences to follow as they might. When he threw his seed corn +into the earth with all such due appliances of agricultural skill and +industry as his capital and experience enabled him to use, he did his +part towards the production of next year's crop; and after that he +must leave it to a higher Power to give to him, or to withhold from +him, the reward of his labour. He had found that, as a rule, the +reward had been given when the labour had been honest; and he was now +prepared to follow the same plan, with the same hopes, in this matter +of his love-making. + +After much consideration--very much consideration, a consideration +which took him the whole time that he was brushing his hair and +washing his teeth he resolved that he would, in the first instance, +speak to Mr Amedroz. Not that he intended that the father should win +the daughter for him. He had an idea that he would like to do that +work for himself. But he thought that the old squire would be better +pleased if his consent were asked in the first instance. The present +day was Sunday, and he would not speak on the subject till Monday. +This day he would devote to the work of securing his future +father-in-law's good opinion; to that and to his prayers. + +And he had gained very much upon Mr Amedroz before the evening of the +day was over. He was a man before whom difficulties seemed to yield, +and who had his own way simply because he had become accustomed to +ask for it to ask for it and to work for it. He had so softened the +squire's tone of thought towards him, that the future stocking of the +land was spoken of between them with something like energy on both +sides; and Mr Amedroz had given his consent, without any difficulty, +to the building of a shed for winter stall-feeding. Clara sat by +listening, and perceived that Will Belton would soon be allowed to do +just what he pleased with the place. Her father talked as she had not +heard him talk since her poor brother's death, and was quite animated +on the subject of woodcraft. 'We don't know much about timber down +where I am,' said Will, 'just because we've got no trees.' + +'I'll show you your way,' said the old man. 'I've managed the timber +on the estate myself for the last forty years.' Will Belton of course +did not say a word as to the gross mismanagement which had been +apparent even to him. What a cousin he was! Clara thought what a +paragon among cousins! And then he was so manifestly safe against +love-making! So safe, that he only cared to talk about timber, and +oxen, and fences, and winter-forage! But it was all just as it ought +to be; and if her father did not call him Will before long, she +herself would set the way by doing so first. A very paragon among +cousins! + +'What a flatterer you are,' she said to him that night. + +'A flatterer! I?' + +'Yes, you. You have flattered papa out of all his animosity already. +I shall be jealous soon; for he'll think more of you than of me.' + +'I hope he'll come to think of us as being nearly equally near to +him,' said Belton, with a tone that was half serious and half tender. +Now that he had made up his mind, he could not keep his hand from the +work before him an instant. But Clara had also made up her mind, and +would not be made to think that her cousin could mean anything that +was more than cousinly. + +'Upon my word,' she said, laughing, 'that is very cool on your part.' + +'I came here determined to be friends with him at any rate.' + +'And you did so without any thought of me. But you said you would be +my brother, and I shall not forget your promise. Indeed, indeed, I +cannot tell you how glad I am that you have come both for papa's sake +and my own. You have done him so much good that I only dread to think +that you are going so soon.' + +'I'll be back before long. I think nothing of running across here +from Norfolk. You'll see enough of me before next summer.' + +Soon after breakfast on the next morning he got Mr Amedroz out into +the grounds, on the plea of showing him the proposed site for the +cattle shed; but not a word was said about the shed on that occasion. +He went to work at his other task at once, and when that was well on +hand the squire was quite unfitted for the consideration of any less +important matter, however able to discuss it Belton might have been +himself. + +'I've got something particular that I want to say to you, sir,' +Belton began. + +Now Mr Amedroz was of opinion that his cousin had been saying +something very particular ever since his arrival, and was rather +frightened at this immediate prospect of a new subject. + +'There's nothing wrong; is there?' + +'No, nothing wrong at least, I hope it's not wrong. Would not it be a +good plan, sir, if I were to marry my cousin Clara?' + +What a terrible young man! Mr Amedroz felt that his breath was so +completely taken away from him that he was quite unable to speak a +word of answer at the moment. Indeed, he was unable to move, and +stood still, where he had been fixed by the cruel suddenness of the +proposition made to him. + +'Of course I know nothing of what she may think about it,' continued +Belton. 'I thought it best to come to you before I spoke a word to +her. And I know that in many ways she is above me. She is better +educated, and reads more, and all that sort of thing. And it may be +that she'd rather marry a London man than a fellow who passes all his +time in the country. But she couldn't get one who would love her +better or treat her more kindly. And then as to the property; you +must own it would be a good arrangement. You'd like to know it would +go to your own child and your own grandchild wouldn't you, sir? And +I'm not badly off, without looking to this place at all, and could +give her every thing she wants. But then I don't know that she'd care +to marry a farmer.' These last words he said in a melancholy tone, as +though aware that he was confessing his own disgrace. + +The squire had listened to it all, and had not as yet said a word. +And now, when Belton ceased, he did not know what word to speak. He +was a man whose thoughts about women were chivalrous, and perhaps a +little old-fashioned. Of course, when a man contemplates marriage, he +could do nothing better, nothing more honourable, than consult the +lady's father in the first instance. But he felt that even a father +should be addressed on such a subject with great delicacy. There +should be ambages in such a matter. The man who resolved to commit +himself to such a task should come forward with apparent difficulty +with great diffidence, and even with actual difficulty. He should +keep himself almost hidden, as behind a mask, and should tell of his +own ambition with doubtful, quivering voice. And the ambages should +take time. He should approach the citadel to be taken with covered +ways working his way slowly and painfully. But this young man, before +he had been in the house three days, said all that he had to say +without the slightest quaver in his voice, and evidently expected to +get an answer about the squire's daughter as quickly as he had got it +about the squire's land. + +'You have surprised me very much,' said the old man at last, drawing +his breath. + +'I'm quite in earnest about it. Clara seems to me to be the very girl +to make a good wife to such a one as I am. She's got everything that +a woman ought to have By George, she has!' + +'She is a good girl, Mr Belton.' + +'She is as good as gold, every inch of her.' + +'But you have not known her very long, Mr Belton.' + +'Quite long enough for my purposes. You see I knew all about her +beforehand who she is, and where she comes from. There's a great deal +in that, you know.' + +Mr Amedroz shuddered at the expressions used. It was grievous to him +to hear his daughter spoken of as one respecting whom some one knew +who she was and whence she came. Such knowledge respecting the +daughter of such a family was, as a matter of course, common to all +polite persons. 'Yes,' said Mr Amedroz, stiffly: 'you know as much as +that about her, certainly.' + +'And she knows as much about me. Now the question is, whether you +have any objection to make?' + +'Really, Mr Belton, you have taken me so much by surprise that I do +not feel myself competent to answer you at once.' + +'Shall we say in an hour's time, sir?' An hour's time! Mr Amedroz, if +he could have been left to his own guidance, would have thought a +month very little for such a work. + +'I suppose you would wish me to see Clara first,' said Mr Amedroz. + +'Oh dear, no. I would much rather ask her myself if only I could get +your consent to my doing so.' + +'And you have said nothing to her?' + +'Not a word.' + +'I am glad of that. You would have behaved badly, I think, had you +done so while staying under my roof.' + +'I thought it best, at any rate, to come to you first. But as I must +be back at Plaistow on this day week, I haven't much time to lose. So +if you could think about it this afternoon, you know Mr Amedroz, much +bewildered, promised that he would do his best, and eventually did +bring himself to give an answer on the next morning. 'I have been +thinking about this all night,' said Mr Amedroz. + +'I'm sure I'm very much obliged to you,' said Belton, feeling rather +ashamed of his own remissness as he remembered how soundly he had +himself slept. + +'If you are quite sure of yourself' + +'Do you mean sure of loving her? I am as sure of that as anything.' + +'But men are so apt to change their fancies.' + +'I don't know much about my fancies; but I don't often change my +purpose when I'm in earnest. In such a matter as this I couldn't +change. I'll say as much as that for myself, though it may seem +bold.' + +'Of course, in regard to money such a marriage would be advantageous +to my child. I don't know whether you know it, but I shall have +nothing to give her literally nothing.' + +'All the better, sir, as far as I am concerned. I'm not one who wants +to be saved from working by a wife's fortune.' + +'But most men like to get something when they marry.' + +'I want to get nothing nothing, that is, in the way of money. If +Clara becomes my wife I'll never ask you for one shilling.' + +'I hope her aunt will do something for her.' This the old man said in +a wailing voice, as though the expression of such a hope was grievous +to him. + +'If she becomes my wife, Mrs Winterfield will be quite at liberty to +leave her money elsewhere.' There were old causes of dislike between +Mr Belton and Mrs Winterfield, and even now Mrs Winterfield was +almost offended because Mr Belton was staying at Belton Castle. + +'But all that is quite uncertain,' continued Mr Amedroz. + +'And I have your leave to speak to Clara myself?' + +'Well, Mr Belton; yes; I think so. I do not see why you should not +speak to her. But I fear you are a little too precipitate. Clara has +known you so very short a time, that you can hardly have a right to +hope that she should learn to regard you at once as you would have +her do.' As he heard this, Belton's face became long and melancholy. +He had taught himself to think that he could dispense with that delay +till Christmas which he had at first proposed to himself, and that he +might walk into the arena at once, and perhaps win the battle in the +first round. 'Three days is such a very short time,' said the squire. + +'It is short certainly,' said Belton. + +The father's leave was however given, and armed with that, Belton was +resolved that he would take, at any rate, some preliminary steps in +love-making before he returned to Plaistow. What would be the nature +of the preliminary steps taken by such a one as him, the reader by +this time will probably be able to surmise. + + + +CHAPTER V + +NOT SAFE AGAINST LOVE-MAKING + +'Why don't you call him Will?' Clara said to her father. This +question was asked on the evening of that Monday on which Mr Amedroz +had given his consent as to the marriage proposal. + +'Call him Will! Why should I?' + +'You used to do so, when he was a boy.' + +'Of course I did; but that is years ago. He would think it +impertinent now.' + +'Indeed he would not; he would like it. He has told me so. It sounds +so cold to him to be called Mr Belton by his relations.' + +The father looked at his daughter as though for a moment he also +suspected that matters had really been arranged between her and her +future lover without his concurrence, and before his sanction had +been obtained. But if for a moment such a thought did cress his mind, +it did not dwell there. He trusted Belton; but as to his daughter, he +knew that he might be sure of her. It would be impossible with her to +keep such a secret from him, even for half a day. And yet, how odd it +was! Here was a man who in three days had fallen in love with his +daughter; and here was his daughter apparently quite as ready to be +in love with the man. How could she, who was ordinarily circumspect, +and almost cold in her demeanour towards strangers who was from +circumstances and from her own disposition altogether hostile to +flirting intimacies how could this Clara have changed her nature so +speedily? The squire did not understand it, but was prepared to +believe that it was all for the best. 'I'll call him Will, if you +like it,' said he. + +'Do, papa, and then I can do so also. He is such a good fellow, and I +am so fond of him.' + +On the next morning Mr Amedroz did, with much awkwardness, call his +guest by his Christian name. Clara caught her cousin's eye and +smiled, and he also smiled. At that moment he was more in love than +ever. Could anything be more charming than this? Immediately after +breakfast he was going over to Redicote, to see a builder in a small +way who lived there, and whom he proposed to employ in putting up the +shed for the cattle; but he almost begrudged the time, so anxious was +he to begin his suit. But his plan had been laid out and he would +follow it. 'I think I shall be back by three o'clock,' he said to +Clara, 'and then we'll have our walk.' + +'I'll be ready; and you can call for me at Mr Askerton's. I must go +down there, and it will save you something in your walk to pick me up +at the cottage.' And so the arrangements for the day were made. + +Clara had promised that she would soon call at the cottage, and was, +indeed, rather anxious to see Mrs Askerton on her own account. What +she had heard from her cousin as to a certain Miss Vigo of old days +had interested her, and also what she had heard of a certain Mr +Berdmore. It had been evident to her that her cousin had thought +little about it. The likeness of the lady he then saw to the lady he +had before known, had at first struck him; but when he found that the +two ladies were not represented by one and the same person, he was +satisfied, and there was an end of the matter for him. But it was not +so with Clara. Her feminine mind dwelt on the matter with more +earnestness than he had cared to entertain, and her clearer intellect +saw possibilities which did not occur to him. But it was not till she +found herself walking across the park to the cottage that she +remembered that any inquiries as to her past life might be +disagreeable to Mrs Askerton. She had thought of asking her friend +plainly whether the names of Vigo and Berdmore had ever been familiar +to her; but she reminded herself that there had been rumours afloat, +and that there might be a mystery. Mrs Askerton would sometimes talk +of her early life; but she would do this with dreamy, indistinct +language, speaking of the sorrows of her girlhood, but not specifying +their exact nature, seldom mentioning any names, and never referring +with clear personality to those who had been nearest to her when she +had been a child. Clara had seen her friend's maiden name, Mary +Oliphant, written in a book, and seeing it had alluded to it. On that +occasion Mrs Askerton had spoken of herself as having been an +Oliphant, and thus Clara had come to know the fact. But now, as she +made her way to the cottage, she remembered that she had learned +nothing more than this as to Mrs Askerton's early life. Such being +the case, she hardly knew how to ask any question about the two names +that had been mentioned. And yet, why should she not ask such a +question? Why should she doubt Mrs Askerton? And if she did doubt, +why should not her doubts be solved? + +She found Colonel Askerton and his wife together, and she certainly +would ask no such question in his presence. He was a slight built, +wiry man, about fifty, with iron-grey hair and beard who seemed to +have no trouble in life, and to desire but few pleasures. Nothing +could be more regular than the course of his days, and nothing more +idle. He breakfasted at eleven, smoked and read till the afternoon, +when he rode for an hour or two; then he dined, read again, smoked +again, and went to bed. In September and October he shot, and twice +in the year, as has been before stated, went away to seek a little +excitement elsewhere. He seemed to be quite contented with his lot, +and was never heard to speak an angry word with any one. Nobody cared +for him much; but then he troubled himself with no one's affairs. He +never went to church, and had not eaten or drank in any house but his +own since he had come to Belton. + +'Oh, Clara, you naughty girl,' said Mrs Askerton, 'why didn't you +come yesterday? I was expecting you all day.' + +'I was busy. Really, we've grown to be quite industrious people since +my cousin came.' + +'They tell me he's taking the land into his own hands,' said the +colonel. + +'Yes, indeed; and he is going to build sheds, and buy cattle; and I +don't know what he doesn't mean to do; so that we shall be alive +again.' + +'I hope he won't want my shooting.' + +'He has shooting of his own in Norfolk,' said Clara. + +'Then he'll hardly care to come here for that purpose. When I heard +of his proceedings I began to be afraid.' + +'I don't think he would do anything to annoy you for the world,' said +Clara, enthusiastically. 'He's the most unselfish person I ever met.' + +'He'd have a perfect right to take the shooting if he liked it that +is always supposing that he and your father agreed about it.' + +'They agree about everything now. He has altogether disarmed papa's +prejudices, and it seems to be recognized that he is to have his own +way about the place. But I don't think he'll interfere about the +shooting.' + +'He won't, my dear, if you ask him not,' said Mrs Askerton. + +'I'll ask him in a moment if Colonel Askerton wishes it.' + +'Oh dear no,' said he. 'It would be teaching the ostler to grease the +horse's teeth. Perhaps he hasn't thought of it.' + +'He thinks of everything,' said Clara. + +'I wonder whether he's thinking of .' So far Mrs Askerton spoke, and +then she paused. Colonel Askerton looked up at Clara with an +ill-natured smile, and Clara felt that she blushed. Was it not cruel +that she could not say a word in favour of a friend and a cousin a +cousin who had promised to be a brother to her, without being treated +with such words and such looks as these? But she was determined not +to be put down. 'I'm quite sure of this,' she said, 'that my cousin +would do nothing unfair or ungentlemanlike.' + +'There would be nothing unfair or ungentlemanlike in it. I shouldn't +take it amiss at all but I should simply take up my bed and walk. +Pray tell him that I hope I shall have the pleasure of seeing him +before he goes. I did call yesterday, but he was out.' + +'He'll be here soon. He's to come here for me.' But Colonel +Askerton's horse was brought to the door, and he could not therefore +wait to make Mr Belton's acquaintance on that occasion. + +'What a phoenix this cousin of yours is,' said Mrs Askerton, as soon +as her husband was gone. + +'He is a splendid fellow he is indeed. There's so much life about +him! He's always doing something. He says that doing good will always +pay in the long run. Isn't that a fine doctrine?' + +'Quite a practical phoenix!' + +'It has done papa so much good! At this moment he's out somewhere, +thinking of what is going on, instead of moping in the house. He +couldn't bear the idea of Will's coming, and now he is already +beginning to complain because he's going away.' + +'Will, indeed!' + +'And why not Will? He's my cousin.' + +'Yes ten times removed. But so much the better if he's to be anything +more than a cousin.' + +'He is to be nothing more, Mrs Askerton.' + +'You're quite sure of that? + +'I am quite sure of it. And I cannot understand why there should be +such a suspicion because he and I are thrown closely together, and +are fond of each other. Whether he is a sixth, eighth, or tenth +cousin makes no difference. He is the nearest I have on that side; +and since my poor brother's death he is papa's heir. It is so natural +that he should be my friend and such a comfort that he should be such +a friend as he is! I own it seems cruel to me that under such +circumstances there should be any suspicion.' + +'Suspicion, my dear suspicion of what?' + +'Not that I care I or it. I am prepared to love him as if he were my +brother. I think him one of the finest creatures I ever knew perhaps +the finest I ever did know. His energy and good-nature together are +just the qualities to make the best kind of man. I am proud of him as +my friend and my cousin, and now you may suspect what you please.' + +'But, my dear, why should not he fall in love with you? It would be +the most proper, and also the most convenient thing in the world.' + +'I hate talking of falling in love as though a woman had nothing else +to think of whenever she sees a man.' + +'A woman has nothing else to think of.' + +'I have a great deal else. And so has he.' + +'It's quite out of the question on his part, then?' + +'Quite out of the question. I'm sure he likes me; I can see it in his +face, and hear it in his voice, and am so happy that it is so. But it +isn't in the way that you mean. Heaven knows that I may want a friend +some of these days, and I feel that I may trust to him. His feelings +to me will be always those of a brother.' + +'Perhaps so. I have seen that fraternal love before under similar +circumstances, and it has always ended in the same way.' + +'I hope it won't end in any way between us.' + +'But the joke is that this suspicion, as you call it which makes you +so indignant is simply a suggestion that a thing should happen which, +of all things in the world, would be the best for both of you.' + +'But the thing won't happen, and therefore let there be an end of it. +I hate the twaddle talk of love, whether it's about myself or about +any one else. It makes me feel ashamed of my sex, when I find that I +cannot talk of myself to another woman without being supposed to be +either in love or thinking of love cither looking for it or avoiding +it. When it comes, if it comes prosperously, it's a very good thing. +But I for one can do without it, and I feel myself injured when such +a state of things is presumed to be impossible.' + +'It is worth any one's while to irritate you, because your +indignation is so beautiful.' + +'It is not beautiful to me; for I always feel ashamed afterwards of +my own energy. And now, if you please, we won't say anything more +about Mr Will Belton.' + +'May I not talk about him, even as the enterprising cousin? + +'Certainly; and in any other light you please. Do you know he seemed +to think that he had known you ever so many years ago.' Clara, as she +said this, did not look direct at her friend's face; but still she +could perceive that Mrs Askerton was disconcerted. There came a shade +of paleness over her face, and a look of trouble on her brow, and for +a moment or two she made no reply. + +'Did he?' she then said. 'And when was that?' + +'I suppose it was in London. But, after all, I believe it was not +you, but somebody whom he remembers to have been like you. He says +that the lady was a Miss Vigo.' As she pronounced the name, Clara +turned her face away, feeling instinctively that it would be kind to +do so. + +'Miss Vigo!' said Mrs Askerton at once; and there was that in the +tone of her voice which made Clara feel that all was not right with +her. 'I remember that there were Miss Vigos; two of them, I think. I +didn't know that they were like me especially.' + +'And he says that the one he remembers married a Mr Berdmore.' + +'Married a Mr Berdmore!' The tone of voice was still the same, and +there was an evident struggle, as though the woman was making a +vehement effort to speak in her natural voice. Then Clara looked at +her, feeling that if she abstained from doing so, the very fact of +her so abstaining would be remarkable. There was the look of pain on +Mrs Askerton's brow, and her cheeks were still pale, but she smiled +as she went on speaking. 'I'm sure I'm flattered, for I remember that +they were both considered beauties. Did he know anything more of her? + +'No; nothing more.' + +'There must have been some casual likeness I suppose.' Mrs Askerton +was a clever woman, and had by this time almost recovered her +self-possession. Then there came a ring at the front door, and in +another minute Mr Belton was in the room. Mrs Askerton felt that it +was imperative on her to make some allusion to the conversation which +had just taken place, and dashed at the subject at once. 'Clara tells +me that I am exactly like some old friend of yours, Mr Belton.' + +Then he looked at her closely as he answered her. 'I have no right to +say that she was my friend, Mrs Askerton,' he said; 'indeed there was +hardly what might be called an acquaintance between us; but you +certainly are extremely like a certain Miss Vigo that I remember.' + +'I often wonder that one person isn't more often found to be like +another,' said Mrs Askerton. + +'People often are like,' said he, 'but not like in such a way as to +give rise to mistakes as to identity. Now, I should have stopped you +in the street and called you Mrs Berdmore.' + +'Didn't I once see or hear the name of Berdmore in this house?' asked +Clara. + +Then that look of pain returned. Mrs Askerton had succeeded in +recovering the usual tone of her countenance, but now she was once +more disturbed. 'I think I know the name,' said she. + +'I fancy that I have seen it in this house,' said Clara. 'You may +more likely have heard it, my dear. My memory is very poor, but if I +remember rightly, Colonel Askerton did know a Captain Berdmore a long +while ago, before he was married; and you may probably have heard him +mention the name.' This did not quite satisfy Clara, but she said +nothing more about it then. If there was a mystery which Mrs Askerton +did not wish to have explored, why should she explore it? + +Soon after this Clara got up to go, and Mrs Askerton, making another +attempt to be cheerful, was almost successful. So you're going back +into Norfolk on Saturday, Clara tells me. You are making a very short +visit now that you're come among us.' + +'It is a long time for me to be away from home. Farmers can hardly +ever dare to leave their work. But in spite of my farm, I am talking +of coming here again about Christmas.' + +'But you are going to have a farming establishment here too?' + +'That will be nothing. Clara will look after that for me; will you +not?' Then they went, and Belton had to consider how he would begin +the work before him. He had some idea that too much precipitancy +might do him an injury, but he hardly knew how to commence without +coming to the point at once. When they were out together in the park, +he went back at first to the subject of Mrs Askerton. + +'I would almost have sworn they were one and the same woman,' he +said. + +'But you see that they are not.' + +'It's not only the likeness, but the voice. It so chanced that I once +saw that Miss Vigo in some trouble. I happened to meet her in company +with a man who was who was tipsy, in fact, and I had to relieve her.' + +'Dear me how disagreeable!' + +'It's a long time ago, and there can't be any harm in mentioning it +now. It was the man she was going to marry, and whom she did marry.' + +'What the Mr Berdmore?' + +'Yes; he was often in that way. And there was a look about Mrs +Askerton just now so like the look of that Miss Vigo then, that I +cannot get rid of the idea.' + +'They can't be the same, as she was certainly a Miss Oliphant. And +you hear, too, what she says.' + +'Yes I heard what she said. You have known her long?' + +'These two years.' + +'And intimately? + +'Very intimately. She is our only neighbour; and her being here has +certainly been a great comfort to me. It is sad not having some woman +near one that one can speak to and then, I really do like her very +much.' + +'No doubt it's all right.' + +'Yes; it's all right,' said Clara. After that there was nothing more +said about Mrs Askerton, and Belton began his work. They had gone +from the cottage, across the park, away from the house, up to a high +rock which stood boldly out of the ground, from whence could be seen +the sea on one side, and on the other a far track of country almost +away to the moors. And when they reached this spot they seated +themselves. 'There,' said Clara, 'I consider this to be the prettiest +spot in England.' + +'I haven't seen all England,' said Belton. + +'Don't be so matter-of-fact, Will. I say it's the prettiest in +England, and you can't contradict me.' + +'And I say you're the prettiest girl in England, and you can't +contradict me.' + +This annoyed Clara, and almost made her feel that her paragon of a +cousin was not quite so perfect as she had represented him to be. 'I +see', she said, 'that if I talk nonsense I'm to be punished.' + +'Is it a punishment to you to know that I think you very handsome?' +he said, turning round and looking full into her face. + +'It is disagreeable to me very, to have any such subject talked about +at all. What would you think if I began to pay you foolish personal +compliments?' + +'What I say isn't foolish; and there's a great difference. Clara, I +love you better than all the world put together.' + +She now looked at him; but still she did not believe it. It could not +be that after all her boastings she should have made so gross a +blunder. 'I hope you do love me,' she said; 'indeed, you are bound to +do so, for you promised that you would be my brother.' + +'But that will not satisfy me now, Clara. Clara, I want to be your +husband.' + +'Will!' she exclaimed. + +'Now you know it all; and if I have been too sudden, I must beg your +pardon.' + +'Oh, Will, forget that you have said this. Do not go on until +everything must be over between us.' + +'Why should anything be over between us? Why should it be wrong in me +to love you?' + +'What will papa say?' + +'Mr Amedroz knows all about it already, and has given me his consent. +I asked him directly I had made up my own mind, and he told me that I +might go to you.' + +'You have asked papa? Oh dear, oh dear, what am I to do?' + +'Am I so odious to you then?' As he said this he got up from his seat +and stood before her. He was a tall, well-built, handsome man, and he +could assume a look and mien that were almost noble when he was moved +as he was moved now. + +'Odious! Do you not know that I have loved you as my cousin that I +have already learned to trust you as though you were really my +brother? But this breaks it all.' + +'You cannot love me then as my wife?' + +'No.' She pronounced the monosyllable alone, and then he walked away +from her as though that one little word settled the question for him, +now and for ever. He walked away from her, perhaps a distance of two +hundred yards, as though the interview was over, and he were leaving +her. She, as she saw him go, wished that he would return that she +might say some word of comfort to him. Not that she could have said +the only word that would have comforted him. At the first blush of +the thing, at the first sound of the address which he had made to +her, she had been angry with him. He had disappointed her, and she +was indignant. But her anger had already melted and turned itself to +ruth. She could not but love him better, in that he had loved her so +well; but yet she could not love him with the love which he desired. + +But he did not leave her. When he had gone from her down the hill the +distance that has been named, he turned back and came up to her +slowly. He had a trick of standing and walking with his thumbs fixed +into the armholes of his waistcoat, while his large hands rested on +his breast. He would always assume this attitude when he was assured +that he was right in his views, and was eager to carry some point at +issue. Clara already understood that this attitude signified his +intention to be autocratic. He now came close up to her and again +stood over her, before he spoke. 'My dear,' he said, 'I have been +rough and hasty in what I have said to you, and I have to ask you to +pardon my want of manners.' + +'No, no, no,' she exclaimed. + +'But in a matter of so much interest to us both you will not let an +awkward manner prejudice me.' + +'It is not that; indeed, it is not.' + +'Listen to me, dearest. It is true that I promised to be your +brother, and I will not break my word unless I break it by your own +sanction. I did promise to be your brother, but I did not know then +how fondly I should come to love you. Your father, when I told him of +this, bade me not to be hasty; but I am hasty, and I haven't known +how to wait. Tell me that I may come at Christmas for my answer, and +I will not say a word to trouble you till then. I will be your +brother, at any rate till Christmas.' + +'Be my brother always.' + +A black cloud crossed his brow as this request reached his ears. She +was looking anxiously into his face, watching every turn in the +expression of his countenance. 'Will you not let it wait till +Christmas?' he asked. + +She thought it would be cruel to refuse this request, and yet she +knew that no such waiting could be of service to him. He had been +awkward in his love-making, and was aware of it. He should have +contrived this period of waiting for himself; giving her no option +but to wait and think of it. He should have made no proposal, but +have left her certain that such proposal was coming. In such case she +must have waited and if good could have come to him from that, he +might have received it. But, as the question was now presented to +her, it was impossible that she should consent to wait. To have given +such consent would have been tantamount to receiving him as her +lover. She was therefore forced to be cruel. + +'It will be of no avail to postpone my answer when I know what it +must be. Why should there be suspense?' + +'You mean that it is impossible that you should love me?' + +'Not in that way, Will.' + +'And why not?' Then there was a pause. 'But I am a fool to ask such a +question as that, and I should be worse than a fool were I to press +it. It must then be considered as settled?' + +She got up and clung to his arm. 'Oh, Will, do not look at me like +that! + +'It must then be considered as settled?' he repeated. + +'Yes, Will, yes. Pray consider it as settled.' He then sat down on +the rock again, and she came and sat by him near to him, but not +close as she had been before. She turned her eyes upon him, gazing on +him, but did not speak to him; and he sat also without speaking for a +while, with his eyes fixed upon the ground. 'I suppose we may go back +to the house?' he said at last. + +'Give me your hand, Will, and tell me that you will still love me as +your sister.' + +He gave her his hand. 'If you ever want a brother's care you shall +have it from me,' he said. + +'But not a brother's love?' + +'No. How can the two go together? I shan't cease to love you because +my love is in vain. Instead of making me happy it will make me +wretched. That will be the only difference.' + +'I would give my life to make you happy, if that were possible.' + +'You will not give me your life in the way that I would have it.' + +After that they walked in silence back to the house, and when he had +opened the front door for her, he parted from her and stood alone +under the porch, thinking of his misfortune. + + + +CHAPTER VI + +SAFE AGAINST LOVE-MAKING ONCE AGAIN + +For a considerable time Belton stood under the porch of the house, +thinking of what had happened to him, and endeavouring to steady +himself under the blow which he had received. I do not know that he +had been sanguine of success. Probably he had made to himself no +assurances on the subject. But he was a man to whom failure, of +itself, was intolerable. In any other event of life he would have +told himself that he would not fail that he would persevere and +conquer. He could imagine no other position as to which he could at +once have been assured of failure, in any project on which he had set +his heart. But as to this project it was so. He had been told that +she could not love him that she could never love him and he had +believed her. He had made his attempt and had failed; and, as he +thought of this, standing under the porch, he became convinced that +life for him was altogether changed, and that he who had been so +happy must now be a wretched man. + +He was still standing there when Mr Amedroz came down into the hall, +dressed for dinner, and saw his figure through the open doors. +'Will,' he said, coming up to him, 'it only wants five minutes to +dinner.' Belton started and shook himself, as though he were shaking +off a lethargy, and declared that he was quite ready. Then he +remembered that he would be expected to dress, and rushed upstairs, +three steps at a time, to his own room. When he came down, Clara and +her father were already in the dining-room, and he joined them there. + +Mr Amedroz, though he was not very quick in reading facts from the +manners of those with whom he lived, had felt assured that things had +gone wrong between Belton and his daughter. He had not as yet had a +minute in which to speak to Clara, but he was certain that it was so. +Indeed, it was impossible not to read terrible disappointment and +deep grief in the young man's manner. He made no attempt to conceal +it, though he did not speak of it. Through the whole evening, though +he was alone for a while with the squire, and alone also for a time +with Clara, he never mentioned or alluded to the subject of his +rejection. But he bore himself as though he knew and they knew as +though all the world knew that he had been rejected. And yet he did +not remain silent. He talked of his property and of his plans, and +explained how things were to be done in his absence. Once only was +there something like an allusion made to his sorrow. 'But you will be +here at Christmas?' said Mr Amedroz, in answer to something which +Belton had said as to work to be done in his absence. 'I do not know +how that may be now,' said Belton. And then they had all been silent. + +It was a terrible evening to Clara. She endeavoured to talk, but +found it to be impossible. All the brightness of the last few days +had disappeared, and the world seemed to her to be more sad and +solemn than ever. She had no idea when she was refusing him that he +would have taken it to heart as he had done. The question had come +before her for decision so suddenly, that she had not, in fact, had +time to think of this as she was making her answer. All she had done +was to feel that she could not be to him what he wished her to be. +And even as yet she had hardly asked herself why she must be so +steadfast in her refusal. But she had refused him steadfastly, and +she did not for a moment think of reducing the earnestness of her +resolution. It seemed to be manifest to her, from his present manner, +that he would never ask the question again; but she was sure, let it +be asked ever so often, that it could not be answered in any other +way. + +Mr Amedroz, not knowing why it was so, became cross and querulous, +and scolded his daughter. To Belton, also, he was captious, making +little difficulties, and answering him with petulance. This the +rejected lover took with most extreme patience, as though such a +trifling annoyance had no effect in adding anything to his misery. He +still held his purpose of going on the Saturday, and was still intent +on work which was to be done before he went; but it seemed that he +was satisfied to do everything now as a duty, and that the enjoyment +of the thing, which had heretofore been so conspicuous, was over. + +At last they separated, and Clara, as was her wont, went up to her +father's room. 'Papa,' she said, 'what is all this about Mr Belton?' + +'All what, my dear? what do you mean?' + +'He has asked me to be to be his wife; and has told me that he came +with your consent.' + +'And why shouldn't he have my consent? What is there amiss with him? +Why shouldn't you marry him if he likes you? You seemed, I thought, +to be very fond of him.' + +This surprised Clara more than anything. She could hardly have told +herself why, but she would have thought that such a proposition from +her cousin would have made her father angry unreasonably angry angry +with him for presuming to have such an idea; but now it seemed that +he was going to be angry with her for not accepting her cousin out of +hand. + +'Yes, papa; I am fond of him; but not like that. I did not expect +that he would think of me in that way.' + +'But why shouldn't he think of you? It would be a very good marriage +for you, as far as money is concerned.' + +'You would not have me marry any one for that reason would you, +papa?' + +'But you seemed to like him. Well; of course I can't make you like +him. I meant to do for the best; and when he came to me as he did, I +thought he was behaving very handsomely, and very much like a +gentleman.' + +'I am sure he would do that.' + +'And if I could have thought that this place would be your home when +I am gone, it would have made me very happy very happy.' + +She now came and stood close to him and took his hand. 'I hope, papa, +you do not make yourself uneasy about me. I shall do very well. I'm +sure you can't want me to go away and leave you.' + +'How will you do very well? I'm sure I don't know. And if your aunt +Winterfield means to provide for you, it would only be kind in her to +let me know it, so that I might not have the anxiety always on my +mind.' + +Clara knew well enough what was to be the disposition of her aunt's +property, but she could not tell her father of that now. She almost +felt that it was her duty to do so, but she could not bring herself +to do it. She could only beg him not to be anxious on her behalf, +making vague assurances that she would do very well. 'And are you +determined not to change your mind about Will?' he said at last. + +'I shall not change my mind about that, papa, certainly,' she +answered. Then he turned away from her, and she saw that he was +displeased. + +When alone, she was forced to ask herself why it was that she was so +certain. Alas! there could in truth be no doubt on that subject in +her own mind. When she sat down, resolved to give herself an answer, +there was no doubt. She could not love her cousin, Will Belton, +because her heart belonged to Captain Aylmer. + +But she knew that she had received nothing in exchange for her heart. +He had been kind to her on that journey to Taunton, when the agony +arising from her brother's death had almost crushed her. He had often +been kind to her on days before that so kind, so soft in his manners, +approaching so nearly to the little tenderness of incipient +love-making, that the idea of regarding him as her lover had of +necessity forced itself upon her. But in nothing had he gone beyond +those tendernesses, which need not imperatively be made to mean +anything, though they do often mean so much. It was now two years +since she had first thought that Captain Aylmer was the most perfect +gentleman she knew, and nearly two years since Mrs Winterfield had +expressed to her a hope that Captain Aylmer might become her husband. +She had replied that such a thing was impossible as any girl would +have replied; and had in consequence treated Captain Aylmer with all +the coolness which she had been able to assume whenever she was in +company with him in her aunt's presence. Nor was it natural to her to +be specially gracious to a man under such trying circumstances, even +when no Mrs Winterfield was there to behold. And so things had gone +on. Captain Aylmer had now and again made himself very pleasant to +her at certain trying periods of joy or trouble almost more than +pleasant. But nothing had come of it, and Clara had told herself that +Captain Aylmer had no special feeling in her favour. She had told +herself this, ever since that journey together from Perivale to +Taunton; but never till now had she confessed to herself what was her +own case. + +She made a comparison between the two men. Her cousin Will was, she +thought, the more generous, the more energetic perhaps by nature, the +man of the higher gifts. In person he was undoubtedly the superior. +He was full of noble qualities forgetful of self, industrious, full +of resources, a very man of men, able to command, eager in doing work +for others' good and his own a man altogether uncontaminated by the +coldness and selfishness of the outer world. But he was rough, +awkward, but indifferently educated, and with few of those tastes +which to Clara Amedroz were delightful. He could not read poetry to +her, he could not tell her of what the world of literature was doing +now or of what it had done in times past. He knew nothing of the +inner world of worlds which governs the world. She doubted whether he +could have told her who composed the existing cabinet, or have given +the name of a single bishop beyond the see in which his own parish +was situated. But Captain Aylmer knew everybody, and had read +everything, and understood, as though by instinct, all the movements +of the world in which he lived. + +But what mattered any such comparison? Even though she should be able +to prove to herself beyond the shadow of a doubt that her cousin Will +was of the two the fitter to be loved the one more worthy of her +heart no such proof could alter her position. Love does not go by +worth. She did not love her cousin as she must love any man to whom +she could give her hand and, alas! she did love that other man. + +On this night I doubt whether Belton did slumber with that solidity +of repose which was usual to him. At any rate, before he came down in +the morning he had found time for sufficient thought, and had brought +himself to a resolution. He would not give up the battle as lost. To +his thinking there was something weak and almost mean in abandoning +any project which he had set before himself. He had been awkward, and +he exaggerated to himself his own awkwardness. He had been hasty, and +had gone about his task with inconsiderate precipitancy. It might be +that he had thus destroyed all his chance of success. But, as he said +to himself, 'he would never say die, as long as there was a puff of +breath left in him.' He would not mope, and hang down his head, and +wear the willow. Such a state of things would ill suit either the +roughness or the readiness of his life. No! He would bear like a man +the disappointment which had on this occasion befallen him, and would +return at Christmas and once more try his fortune. + +At breakfast, therefore, the cloud had passed from his brow. When he +came in he found Clara alone in the room, and he simply shook hands +with her after his ordinary fashion. He said nothing of yesterday, +and almost succeeded in looking as though yesterday had been in no +wise memorable. She was not so much at her ease, but she also +received some comfort from his demeanour. Mr Amedroz came down almost +immediately, and Belton soon took an opportunity of saying that he +would be back at Christmas if Mr Amedroz would receive him. + +'Certainly,' said the squire. 'I thought it had been all settled.' + +'So it was till I said a word yesterday which foolishly seemed to +unsettle it. But I have thought it over again, and I find that I can +manage it.' + +'We shall be so glad to have you!' said Clara. + +'And I shall be equally glad to come. They are already at work, sir, +about the sheds.' + +'Yes; I saw the carts full of bricks go by,' said the squire, +querulously. 'I didn't know there was to be any brickwork. You said +you would have it made of deal slabs with oak posts.' + +'You must have a foundation, sir. I propose to carry the brickwork a +foot and a half above the ground.' + +'I suppose you know best. Only that kind of thing is so very ugly.' + +'If you find it to be ugly after it is done, it shall be pulled down +again.' + +'No it can never come down again.' + +'It can and it shall, if you don't like it. I never think anything of +changes like that.' + +'I think they'll be very pretty!' said Clara. + +'I dare say,' said the squire,' but at any rate it won't make much +difference to me. I shan't be here long to see them.' + +This was rather melancholy; but Belton bore up even against this, +speaking cheery words and expressing bright hopes so that it seemed, +both to Clara and her father, that he had in a great measure overcome +the disappointment of the preceding day. It was probable that he was +a man not prone to be deeply sensitive in such matters for any long +period. The period now had certainly not been long, and yet Will +Belton was alive again. + +Immediately after breakfast there occurred a little incident which +was not without its effect upon them all. There came up on the drive +immediately before the front door, under the custody of a boy, a cow. +It was an Alderney cow, and any man or woman at all understanding +cows would at once have perceived that this cow was perfect in her +kind. Her eyes were mild, and soft, and bright. Her legs were like +the legs of a deer; and in her whole gait and demeanour she almost +gave the lie to her own name, asserting herself to have sprung from +some more noble origin among the woods, than maybe supposed to be the +origin of the ordinary domestic cow a useful animal, but heavy in its +appearance, and seen with more pleasure at some little distance than +at close quarters. But this cow was graceful in its movements, and +almost tempted one to regard her as the far-off descendant of the elk +or the antelope. + +'What's that?' said Mr Amedroz, who, having no cows of his own, was +not pleased to see one brought up in that way before his hail door. +'There's somebody's cow come here.' + +Clara understood it in a moment; but she was pained, and said +nothing. Had the cow come without any such scene as that of +yesterday, she would have welcomed the animal with all cordiality, +and would have sworn to her cousin that the cow should be cherished +for his sake. But after what had passed it was different. How was she +to take any present from him now? + +But Belton faced the difficulty without any bashfulness or apparent +regret. 'I told you I would give you a cow,' said he 'and here she +is.' + +'What can she want with a cow?' said Mr Amedroz. + +'I am sure she wants one very much. At any rate she won't refuse the +present from me; will you, Clara?' + +What could she say? 'Not if papa will allow me to keep it.' + +'But we've no place to put it!' said the squire. 'We haven't got +grass for it!' + +'There's plenty of grass,' said Belton. 'Come, Mr Amedroz; I've made +a point of getting this little creature for Clara, and you mustn't +stand in the way of my gratification.' Of course he was successful, +and of course Clara thanked him with tears in her eyes. + +The next two days passed by without anything special to mark them, +and then the cousin was to go. During the period of his visit he did +not see Colonel Askerton, nor did he again see Mrs Askerton. He went +to the cottage once, with the special object of returning the +colonel's call; but the master was out, and he was not specially +invited in to see the mistress. He said nothing more to Clara about +her friends, but he thought of the matter more than once, as he was +going about the place, and became aware that he would like to +ascertain whether there was a mystery, and if so, what was its +nature. He knew that he did not like Mrs Askerton, and he felt also +that Mrs Askerton did not like him. This was, as he thought, +unfortunate; for might it not be the case, that in the one matter +which was to him of so much importance, Mrs Askerton might have +considerable influence over Clara? + +During these days nothing special was said between him and Clara. The +last evening passed over without anything to brighten it or to make +it memorable. Mr Amedroz, in his passive, but gently querulous way, +was sorry that Belton was going to leave him, as his cousin had been +the creation of some new excitement for him, but he said nothing on +the subject; and when the time for going to bed had come, he bade his +guest farewell with some languid allusion to the pleasure which he +would have in seeing him again at Christmas. Belton was to start very +early in the morning before six, and of course he was prepared to +take leave also of Clara. But she told him very gently, so gently +that her father did not hear it, that she would be up to give him a +cup of coffee before he went. + +'Oh no,' he said. + +'But I shall. I won't have you go without seeing you out of the +door.' + +And on the following morning she was up before him. She hardly +understood, herself, why she was doing this. She knew that it should +be her object to avoid any further special conversation on that +subject which they discussed up among the rocks. She knew that she +could give him no comfort, and that he could give none to her. It +would seem that he was willing to let the remembrance of the scene +pass away, so that it should be as though it had never been; and +surely it was not for her to disturb so salutary an arrangement! But +yet she was up to bid him Godspeed as he went. She could not +bear,--so she excused the matter to herself,--she could not bear to +think that he should regard her as ungrateful. She knew all that he +had done for them. She had perceived that the taking of the land, the +building of the sheds, the life which he had contrived in so short a +time to throw into the old place, had all come from a desire on his +part to do good to those in whose way he stood by family arrangements +made almost before his birth; and she longed to say to him one word of +thanks. And had he not told her,--once in the heat of his +disappointment; for then at that moment, as Clara had said to +herself, she supposed that he must have been in some measure +disappointed,--had he not even then told her that when she wanted a +brother's care, a brother's care should be given to her by him? Was +she not therefore bound to do for him what she would do for a +brother? + +She, with her own hands, brought the coffee into the little breakfast +parlour, and handed the cup into his hands. The gig, which had come +overnight from Taunton, was not yet at the door, and there was a +minute or two during which they must speak to each other. Who has not +seen some such girl when she has come down early, without the full +completeness of her morning toilet, and yet nicer, fresher, prettier +to the eye of him who is so favoured, than she has ever been in more +formal attire? And what man who has been so favoured has not loved +her who has so favoured him, even though he may not previously have +been enamoured as deeply as poor Will Belton? + +'This is so good of you,' he said. + +'I wish I knew how to be good to you,' she answered not meaning to +trench upon dangerous ground, but feeling, as the words came from +her, that she had done so. 'You have been so good to us, so very good +to papa, that we owe you everything. I am so grateful to you for +saying that you will come back at Christmas.' + +He had resolved that he would refrain from further love-making till +the winter; but he found it very hard to refrain when so addressed. +To take her in his arms, and kiss her twenty times, and swear that he +would never let her go to claim her at once savagely as his own, that +was the line of conduct to which temptation prompted him. How could +she look at him so sweetly, how could she stand before him, +ministering to him with all her pretty maidenly charms brought so +close to him, without intending that he should love her? But he did +refrain. 'Blood is thicker than water,' said he. 'That's the real +reason why I first came.' + +'I understand that quite, and it is that feeling that makes you so +good. But I'm afraid you are spending a great deal of money here and +all for our sakes.' + +'Not at all. I shall get my money back again. And if I didn't, what +then? I've plenty of money. It is not money that I want.' + +She could not ask him what it was that he did want, and she was +obliged therefore to begin again. 'Papa will look forward so to the +winter now.' + +'And so shall I.' + +'But you must come for longer then you won't go away at the end of a +week? Say that you won't.' + +'I'll see about it. I can't tell quite yet. You'll write me a line to +say when the shed is finished, won't you?' + +'That I will, and I'll tell you how Bessy goes on.' Bessy was the +cow. 'I will be so very fond of her. She'll come to me for apples +already.' + +Belton thought that he would go to her, wherever she might be, even +if he were to get no apples. 'It's all cupboard love with them,' he +said. 'I'll tell you what I'll do when I come, I'll bring you a dog +that will follow you without thinking of apples.' Then the gig was +heard on the gravel before the door, and Belton was forced to go. For +a moment he reflected whether, as her cousin, it was not his duty to +kiss her. It was a matter as to which he had doubt as is the case +with many male cousins; but ultimately he resolved that if he kissed +her at all he would not kiss her in that light, and so he again +refrained. 'Goodbye,' he said, putting out his great hand to her. + +'Good-bye, Will, and God bless you.' I almost think he might have +kissed her, asking himself no questions as to the light in which it +was done. + +As he turned from her he saw the tears in her eyes; and as he sat in +the gig, thinking of them, other tears came into his own. By heaven, +he would have her yet! He was a man who had not read much of romance. +To him all the imagined mysteries of passion had not been made common +by the perusal of legions of love stories but still he knew enough of +the game to be aware that women had been won in spite, as it were, of +their own teeth. He knew that he could not now run away with her, +taking her off by force; but still he might conquer her will by his +own. As he remembered the tears in her eyes, and the tone of her +voice, and the pressure of her hand, and the gratitude that had +become tender in its expression, he could not but think that he would +be wise to love her still. Wise or foolish, he did love her still; +and it should not be owing to fault of his if she did not become his +wife. As he drove along he saw little of the Quantock hills, little +of the rich Somersetshire pastures, little of the early beauty of the +August morning. He saw nothing but her eyes, moistened with bright +tears, and before he reached Taunton he had rebuked himself with many +revilings in that he had parted from her and not kissed her. + +Clara stood at the door watching the gig till it was out of +sight,--watching it as well as her tears would allow. What a grand +cousin he was! Had it not been a pity,--a thousand pities,--that +grievous episode should have come to mar the brotherly love, the +sisterly confidence, which might otherwise have been so perfect +between them? But perhaps it might all be well yet. Clara knew, or +thought that she knew, that men and women differed in their +appreciation of love. She, having once loved, could not change. Of that +she was sure. Her love might be fortunate or unfortunate. It might be +returned, or it might simply be her own, to destroy all hope of +happiness for her on earth. But whether it were this or that, whether +productive of good or evil, the love itself could not be changed. But +with men she thought it might be different. Her cousin, doubtless, had +been sincere in the full sincerity of his heart when he made his offer. +And had she accepted it,--had she been able to accept it,--she believed +that he would have loved her truly and constantly. Such was his nature. +But she also believed that love with him, unrequited love, would have +no enduring effect, and that he had already resolved, with equal courage +and wisdom, to tread this short-lived passion out beneath his feet. One +night had sufficed to him for that treading out. As she thought of +this the tears ran plentifully down her cheek; and going again to her +room she remained there crying till it was time for her to wipe away +the marks of her weeping, that she might go to her father. + +But she was very glad that Will bore it so well very glad! Her cousin +was safe against love-making once again. + + + +CHAPTER VII + +MISS AMEDROZ GOES TO PERIVALE + +It had been settled for some time past that Miss Amedroz was to go to +Perivale for a few days in November. Indeed it seemed to be a +recognized fact in her life that she was to make the journey from +Belton to Perivale and back very often, as there prevailed an idea +that she owed a divided duty. This was in some degree hard upon her, +as she had very little gratification in these visits to her aunt. Had +there been any intention on the part of Mrs Winterfield to provide +for her, the thing would have been intelligible according to the +usual arrangements which are made in the world on such matters; but +Mrs Winterfield had scarcely a right to call upon her niece for +dutiful attendance after having settled it with her own conscience +that her property was all to go to her nephew. But Clara entertained +no thought of rebelling, and had agreed to make the accustomed +journey in November, travelling then, as she did on all such journeys, +at her aunt's expense. + +Two things only occurred to disturb her tranquillity before she went, +and they were not of much violence. Mr Wright, the clergyman, called +at Belton Castle, and in the course of conversation with Mr Amedroz +renewed one of those ill-natured rumours which had before been spread +about Mrs Askerton. Clara did not see him, but she heard an account +of it all from her father. + +'Does it mean, papa,' she said, speaking almost with anger, 'that you +want me to give up Mrs Askerton?' + +'How can you be so unkind as to ask me such a question?' he replied. +'You know how I hate to be bothered. I tell you what I hear, and then +you can decide for yourself.' + +'But that isn't quite fair either, papa. That that man comes here--' + +'That man, as you call him, is the rector of the parish, and I've +known him for forty years.' + +'And have never liked him, papa.' + +'I don't know much about liking anybody, my dear. Nobody likes me, +and so why should I trouble myself?' + +'But, papa, it all amounts to this--that somebody has said that the +Askertons are not Askertons at all, but ought to be called something +else. Now we know that he served as Captain and Major Askerton for +seven years in India and in fact it all means nothing. If I know +anything, I know that he is Colonel Askerton.' + +'But do you know that she is his wife? That is what Mr Wright asks. I +don't say anything. I think it's very indelicate talking about such +things.' + +'If I am asked whether I have seen her marriage certificate, +certainly I have not; nor probably did you ever do so as to any lady +that you ever knew. But I know that she is her husband's wife, as we +all of us know things of that sort. I know she was in India with him. +I've seen things of hers marked with her name that she has had at +least ten years.' + +'I don't know anything about it, my dear,' said Mr Amedroz, angrily. + +'But Mr Wright ought to know something about it before he says such +things. And then this that he's saying now isn't the same that he +said before.' + +'I don't know what he said before.' + +'He said they were both of them using a feigned name.' + +'It's nothing to me what name they use. I know I wish they hadn't +come here, if I'm to be troubled about them in this way first by +Wright and then by you.' + +'They have been very good tenants, papa.' + +'You needn't tell me that, Clara, and remind me about the shooting +when you know how unhappy it makes me.' + +After this Clara said nothing more, and simply determined that Mr +Wright and his gossip should have no effect upon her intimacy with +Mrs Askerton. But not the less did she continue to remember what her +cousin had said about Miss Vigo. + +And she had been ruffled a second time by certain observations which +Mrs Askerton made to her respecting her cousin or rather by little +words which were dropped on various occasions. It was very clear that +Mrs Askerton did not like Mr Belton, and that she wished to prejudice +Clara against him. 'It's a pity he shouldn't be a lover of yours,' +the lady said, 'because it would be such a fine instance of Beauty +and the Beast.' It will of course be understood that Mrs Askerton had +never been told of the offer that had been made. + +'You don't mean to say that he's not a handsome man,' said Clara. + +'I never observe whether a man is handsome or not; but I can see very +well whether he knows what to do with his arms and legs, or whether +he has the proper use of his voice before ladies.' Clara remembered a +word or two spoken by her cousin to herself, in speaking which he had +seemed to have a very proper use of his voice. 'I know when a man is +at ease like a gentleman, and when he is awkward like a--' + +'Like a what?' said Clara. 'Finish what you've got to say.' + +'Like a ploughboy, I was going to say,' said Mrs Askerton. + +'I declare I think you have a spite against him, because he said you +were like some Miss Vigo,' replied Clara, sharply. Mrs Askerton was +on that occasion silenced, and she said nothing more about Mr Belton +till after Clara had returned from Perivale. + +The journey itself from Belton to Perivale was always a nuisance, and +was more so now than usual, as it was made in the disagreeable month +of November. There was kept at the little inn at Redicote an old +fly-so called which habitually made the journey to the Taunton +railway-station, under the conduct of an old grey horse and an older +and greyer driver, whenever any of the old ladies of the +neighbourhood were minded to leave their homes. This vehicle usually +travelled at the rate of five miles an hour; but the old grey driver +was never content to have time allowed to him for the transit +calculated upon such a rate of speed. Accidents might happen, and why +should he be made, as he would plaintively ask, to drive the poor +beast out of its skin? He was consequently always at Belton a full +hour before the time, and though Clara was well aware of all this, +she could not help herself. Her father was fussy and impatient, the +man was fussy and impatient; and there was nothing for her but to go. +On the present occasion she was taken off in this way the full sixty +minutes too soon, and after four dreary hours spent upon the road, +found herself landed at the Taunton station, with a terrible gulf of +time to be passed before she could again proceed on her journey. + +One little accident had occurred to her. The old horse, while +trotting leisurely along the level high road, had contrived to tumble +down. Clara did not think very much of this, as the same thing had +happened with her before; but, even with an hour or more to spare, +there arises a question whether under such circumstances the train +can be saved. But the grey old man reassured her. 'Now, miss,' said +he, coming to the window, while he left his horse recumbent and +apparently comfortable on the road, 'where'd you have been now, sure, +if I hadn't a few minutes in hand for you?' Then he walked off to +some neighbouring cottage, and having obtained assistance, succeeded +in putting his beast again upon his legs. After that he looked once +more in at the window. 'Who's right now, I wonder?' he said, with an +air of triumph. And when he came to her for his guerdon at Taunton, +he was evidently cross in not having it increased because of the +accident. + +That hour at the Taunton station was terrible to her. I know of no +hours more terrible than those so passed. The minutes will not go +away, and utterly fail in making good their claim to be called +winged. A man walks up and down the platform, and in that way obtains +something of the advantage of exercise; but a woman finds herself +bound to sit still within the dreary dullness of the waiting-room. +There are, perhaps, people who under such circumstances can read, but +they are few in number. The mind altogether declines to be active, +whereas the body is seized by a spirit of restlessness to which delay +and tranquillity are loathsome. The advertisements on the walls are +examined, the map of some new Eden is studied some Eden in which an +irregular pond and a church are surrounded by a multiplicity of +regular villas and shrubs till the student feels that no +consideration of health or economy would induce him to live there. +Then the porters come in and out, till each porter has made himself +odious to the sight. Everything is hideous, dirty, and disagreeable; +and the mind wanders away, to consider why station-masters do not +more frequently commit suicide. Clara Amedroz had already got beyond +this stage, and was beginning to think of herself rather than of the +station-master, when at last there sounded, close to her ears, the +bell of promise, and she knew that the train was at hand. + +At Taunton there branched away from the main line that line which was +to take her to Perivale, and therefore she was able to take her own +place quietly in the carriage when she found that the down-train +from London was at hand. This she did, and could then watch with +equanimity, while the travelers from the other train went through the +penance of changing their seats. But she had not been so watching for +many seconds when she saw Captain Frederic Aylmer appear upon the +platform. Immediately she sank back into her corner and watched no +more. Of course he was going to Perivale; but why had not her aunt +told her that she was to meet him? Of course she would be staying in +the same house with him, and her present small attempt to avoid him +would thus be futile. The attempt was made; but nevertheless she was +probably pleased when she found that it was made in vain. He came at +once to the carriage in which she was sitting, and had packed his +coats, and dressing-bag, and desk about the carriage before he had +discovered who was his fellow-traveller 'How do you do, Captain +Aylmer?' she said, as he was about to take his seat. + +'Miss Amedroz! Dear me; how very odd! I had not the slightest +expectation of meeting you here. The pleasure is of course the +greater.' + +'Nor I of seeing you. Mrs Winterfield has not mentioned to me that +you were coming to Perivale.' + +'I didn't know it myself till the day before yesterday. I'm going to +give an account of my stewardship to the good-natured Perivalians who +sent me to Parliament. I'm to dine with the Mayor tomorrow, and as +some big-wig has come in his way who is going to dine with him also, +the thing has been got up in a hurry. But I'm delighted to find that +you are to be with us.' + +'I generally go to my aunt about this time of the year.' + +'It is very good-natured of you.' Then he asked after her father, and +she told him of Mr Belton's visit, telling him nothing as the reader +will hardly require to be told of Mr Belton's offer. And so, by +degrees, they fell into close and intimate conversation. + +'I am so glad, for your father's sake!' said the captain, with +sympathetic voice, speaking still of Mr Belton's visit. + +'That's what I feel, of course.' + +'I is just as it should be, as he stands in that position to the +property. And so he is a nice sort of fellow, is he? + +'Nice is no word for him. He is perfect!' + +'Dear me! This is terrible! You remember that they hated some old +Greek patriot when they could find no fault in him?' + +'I'll defy you to hate my cousin Will.' + +'What sort of looking man is he?' + +'Extremely handsome at least I should say so.' + +'Then I certainly must hate him. And clever?' + +'Well not what you would call clever. He is very clever about fields +and cattle.' + +'Come, there is some relief in that.' + +'But you must not mistake me. He is clever; and then there's a way +about him of doing everything just as he likes it, which is +wonderful. You feel quite sure that he'll become master of +everything.' + +'But I do not feel at all sure that I should like him better for +that.' + +'But he doesn't meddle in things that he doesn't understand. And then +he is so generous! His spending all that money down there is only +done because he thinks it will make the place pleasanter to papa.' + +'Has he got plenty of money?' + +'Oh, plenty! At least, I think so. He says that he has.' + +'The idea of any man owning that he had got plenty of money! What a +happy mortal! And then to be handsome, and omnipotent, and to +understand cattle and fields! One would strive to emulate him rather +than envy him, had not one learned to acknowledge that it is not +given to every one to get to Corinth.' + +'You may laugh at him, but you'd like him if you knew him.' + +'One never can be sure of that from a lady's account of a man. When a +man talks to me about another man, I can generally tell whether I +should like him or not particularly if I know the man well who is +giving the description; but it is quite different when a woman is the +describer.' + +'You mean that you won't take my word?' + +'We see with different eyes in such matters. I have no doubt your +cousin is a worthy man and as prosperous a gentleman as the Thane of +Cawdor in his prosperous days but probably if he and I came together +we shouldn't have a word to say to each other.' + +Clara almost hated Captain Aylmer for speaking as he did, and yet she +knew that it was true. Will Belton was not an educated man, and were +they two to meet in her presence the captain and the farmer she felt +that she might have to blush for her cousin. But yet he was the +better man of the two. She knew that he was the better man of the +two, though she knew also that she could not love him as she loved +the other. + +Then they changed the subject of their conversation, and discussed +Mrs Winterfield, as they had often done before. Captain Aylmer had +said that he should return to London on the Saturday, the present day +being Tuesday, and Clara accused him of escaping always from the real +hard work of his position. 'I observe that you never stay a Sunday at +Perivale,' she said. + +'Well not often. Why should I? Sunday is just the day that people +like to be at home.' + +'I should have thought it would not have made much difference to a +bachelor in that way.' + +'But Sunday is a day that one specially likes to pass after one's own +fashion.' + +'Exactly and therefore you don't stay with my aunt. I understand it +all completely.' + +'Now you mean to be ill-natured!' + +'I mean to say that I don't like Sundays at Perivale at all, and that +I should do just as you do if I had the power. But women,--women, +that is, of my age,--are such slaves! We are forced to give an +obedience for which we can see no cause, and for which we can +understand no necessity. I couldn't tell my aunt that I meant to go +away on Saturday.' + +'You have no business which makes imperative calls upon your time.' + +'That means that I can't plead pretended excuses. But the true reason +is that we are dependent.' + +'There is something in that, I suppose.' + +'Not that I am dependent on her. But my position generally is +dependent, and I cannot assist myself.' + +Captain Aylmer found it difficult to make any answer to this, feeling +the subject to be one which could hardly be discussed between him and +Miss Amedroz. He not unnaturally looked to be the heir of his aunt's +property, and any provision made out of that property for Clara would +so far lessen that which would come to him. For anything that he +knew, Mrs Winterfield might leave everything she possessed to her +niece. The old lady had not been open and candid to him whom she +meant to favour in her will, as she had been to her to whom no such +favour was to be shown. But Captain Aylmer did know, with tolerable +accuracy, what was the state of affairs at Belton, and was aware that +Miss Amedroz had no prospect of maintenance on which to depend, +unless she could depend on her aunt. She was now pleading that she +was not dependent on that lady, and Captain Aylmer felt that she was +wrong. He was a man of the world, and was by no means inclined to +abandon any right that was his own; but it seemed to him that he was +almost bound to say some word to show that in his opinion Clara +should hold herself bound to comply with her aunt's requirements. + +'Dependence is a disagreeable word,' he said; and one never quite +knows what it means.' + +'If you were a woman you'd know. It means that I must stay at +Perivale on Sundays, while you can go up to London or down to +Yorkshire. That's what it means.' + +'What you do mean, I think, is this that you owe a duty to your aunt, +the performance of which is not altogether agreeable. Nevertheless it +would be foolish in you to omit it.' + +'It isn't that not that at all. It would not be foolish, not in your +sense of the word, but it would be wrong. My aunt has been kind to +me, and therefore I am bound to her for this service. But she is kind +to you also, and yet you are not bound. That's why I complain. You +sail always under false pretences, and yet you think you do your +duty. You have to see your lawyer which means going to your club; or +to attend to your tenants which means hunting and shooting.' + +'I haven't got any tenants.' + +'You know very well that you could remain over Sunday without doing +any harm to anybody only you don't like going to church three times, +and you don't like hearing my aunt read a sermon afterwards. Why +shouldn't you stay, and I go to the club?' + +'With all my heart, if you can manage it.' + +'But I can't; we ain't allowed to have clubs, or shooting, or to have +our own way in anything, putting forward little pretences about +lawyers.' + +'Come, I'll stay if you'll ask me.' + +'I'm sure I won't do that. In the first place you'd go to sleep, and +then she would be offended; and I don't know that your sufferings +would make mine any lighter. I'm not prepared to alter the ways of +the world, but feel myself entitled to grumble at them sometimes.' + +Mrs Winterfield inhabited a large brick house in the centre of the +town. It had a long frontage to the street; for there was not only +the house itself, with its three square windows on each side of the +door, and its seven windows over that, and again its seven windows in +the upper story but the end of the coach-house also abutted on the +street, on which was the family clock, quite as much respected in +Perivale as was the town-clock; and between the coach-house and the +mansion there was the broad entrance into the yard, and the entrance +also to the back door. No Perivalian ever presumed to doubt that Mrs +Winterfield's house was the most important house in the town. Nor did +any stranger doubt it on looking at the frontage. But then it was in +all respects a town house to the eye that is, an English town house, +being as ugly and as respectable as unlimited bricks and mortar could +make it. Immediately opposite to Mrs Winterfield lived the leading +doctor and a retired builder, so that the lady's eye was not hurt by +any sign of a shop. The shops, indeed, came within a very few yards +of her on either side; but as the neighbouring shops on each side +were her own property, this was not unbearable. To me, had I lived +there, the incipient growth of grass through some of the stones which +formed the margin of the road would have been altogether unendurable. +There is no sign of coming decay which is so melancholy to the eye as +any which tells of a decrease in the throng of men. Of men or horses +there was never any throng now in that end of Perivale. That street +had formed part of the main line of road from Salisbury to Taunton, +and coaches, wagons, and posting-carriages had been frequent on it; +but now, alas it was deserted. Even the omnibuses from the +railway-station never came there unless they were ordered to call at +Mrs Winterfield's door. For Mrs Winterfield herself, this desolation +had, I think, a certain melancholy attraction. It suited her tone of +mind and her religious views that she should be thus daily reminded +that things of this world were passing away and going to destruction. +She liked to have ocular proof that grass was growing in the highways +under mortal feet, and that it was no longer worth man's while to +renew human flags in human streets. She was drawing near to the +pavements which would ever be trodden by myriads of bright sandals, +and which yet would never be worn, and would be carried to those +jewelled causeways on which no weed could find a spot for its useless +growth. + +Behind the house there was a square prim garden, arranged in +parallelograms, tree answering to tree at every corner, round which +it was still her delight to creep when the weather permitted. Poor +Clara! How much advice she had received during these creepings, and +how often had she listened to inquiries as to the schooling of the +gardener's children. Mrs Winterfield was always unhappy about her +gardener. Serious footmen are very plentiful, and even coachmen are +to be found who, at a certain rate of extra payment, will be punctual +at prayer time, and will promise to read good little books; but +gardeners, as a class, are a profane people, who think themselves +entitled to claim liberty of conscience, and who will not submit to +the domestic despotism of a serious Sunday. They live in cottages by +themselves, and choose to have an opinion of their own on church +matters. Mrs Winterfield was aware that she ought to bid high for +such a gardener as she wanted. A man must be paid well who will +submit to daily inquiries as to the spiritual welfare of himself, his +wife, and family. But even though she did bid high, and though she +paid generously, no gardener would stop with her. One conscientious +man attempted to bargain for freedom from religion during the six +unimportant days of the week, being strong, and willing therefore to +give up his day of rest; but such liberty could not be allowed to +him, and he also went. 'He couldn't stop,' he said, 'in justice to +the greenhouses, when missus was so constant down upon him about his +sprittual backsliding. And after all, where did he backslide? It was +only a pipe of tobacco with the babby in his arms, instead of that +darned evening lecture.' + +Poor Mrs Winterfield! She had been strong in her youth, and had +herself sat through evening lectures with a fortitude which other +people cannot attain. And she was strong too in her age, with the +strength of a martyr, submitting herself with patience to wearinesses +which are insupportable to those who have none of the martyr spirit. +The sermons of Perivale were neither bright, nor eloquent, nor +encouraging. All the old vicar or the young curate could tell she had +heard hundreds of times. She knew it all by heart, and could have +preached their sermons to them better than they could preach them to +her. It was impossible that she could learn anything from them: and +yet she would sit there thrice a day, suffering from cold in winter, +from cough in spring, from heat in summer, and from rheumatism in +autumn; and now that her doctor had forbidden her to go more than +twice, recommending her to go only once, she really thought that she +regarded the prohibition as a grievance. Indeed, to such as her, that +expectation of the jewelled causeway, and of the perfect pavement +that shall never be worn, must be everything. But if she was +right--right as to herself and others,--then why has the world been +made so pleasant? Why is the fruit of the earth so sweet; and the +trees,--why are they so green; and the mountains so full of glory? Why +are women so lovely? and why is it that the activity of man's mind is +the only sure forerunner of man's progress? In listening thrice a day +to outpourings from the clergyman at Perivale, there certainly was no +activity of mind. + +Now, in these days, Mrs Winterfield was near to her reward. That she +had ensured that I cannot doubt. She had fed the poor, and filled the +young full with religious teachings perhaps not wisely, and in her +own way only too well, but yet as her judgment had directed her. She +had cared little for herself forgiving injuries done to her, and not +forgiving those only which she thought were done to the Lord. She had +lived her life somewhat as the martyr lived, who stood for years on +his pillar unmoved, while his nails grew through his flesh. So had +she stood, doing, I fear, but little positive good with her large +means but thinking nothing of her own comfort here, in comparison +with the comfort of herself and others in the world to which she was +going. + +On this occasion her nephew and niece reached her together; the prim +boy, with the white cotton gloves and the low four-wheeled carriage, +having been sent down to meet Clara. For Mrs Winterfield was a lady +who thought it unbecoming that her niece though only an adopted niece +should come to her door in an omnibus. Captain Aylmer had driven the +four-wheeled carriage from the station, dispossessing the boy, and +the luggage had been confided to the public conveyance. + +'It is very fortunate that you should come together,' said Mrs +Winterfield. 'I didn't know when to expect you, Fred. Indeed, you +never say at what hour you'll come.' + +'I think it safer to allow myself a little margin, aunt, because one +has so many things to do.' + +'I suppose it is so with a gentleman,' said Mrs Winterfield. After +which Clara looked at Captain Aylmer, but did not betray any of her +suspicions. 'But I knew Clara would come by this train,' continued +the old lady; 'so I sent Tom to meet her. Ladies always can be +punctual; they can do that at any rate.' Mrs Winterfield was one of +those women who have always believed that their own sex is in every +respect inferior to the other. + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +CAPTAIN AYLMER MEETS HIS CONSTITUENTS + +On the first evening of their visit Captain Aylmer was very attentive +to his aunt. He was quite alive to the propriety of such attentions, +and to their expediency; and Clara was amused as she watched him +while he sat by her side, by the hour together, answering little +questions and making little remarks suited to the temperament of the +old lady's mind. She, herself, was hardly called upon to join in the +conversation on that evening, and as she sat and listened, she could +not but think that Will Belton would have been less adroit, but that +he would also have been more straightforward. And yet why should not +Captain Aylmer talk to his aunt? Will Belton would also have talked to +his aunt if he had one, but then he would have talked his own talk, +and not his aunt's talk. Clara could hardly make up her mind whether +Captain Aylmer was or was not a sincere man. On the following day +Aylmer was out all the morning, paying visits among his constituents, +and at three o'clock he was to make his speech in the town-hall. +Special places in the gallery were to be kept for Mrs Winterfield and +her niece, and the old woman was quite resolved that she would be +there. As the day advanced she became very fidgety, and at length she +was quite alive to the perils of having to climb up the town-hall +stairs; but she persevered, and at ten minutes before three she was +seated in her place. + +'I suppose they will begin with prayer,' she said to Clara. Clara, +who knew nothing of the manner in which things were done at such +meetings, said that she supposed so. A town councillor's wife who sat +on the other side of Mrs Winterfield here took the liberty of +explaining that as the captain was going to talk politics there would +be no prayers. 'But they have prayers in the Houses of Parliament,' +said Mrs Winterfield, with much anger. To this the town councillor's +wife, who was almost silenced by the great lady's wrath, said that +indeed she did not know. After this Mrs Winterfield continued to hope +for the best, till the platform was filled and the proceedings had +commenced. Then she declared the present men of Perivale to be a +godless set, and expressed herself very sorry that her nephew had +ever had anything to do with them. 'No good can come of it, my dear,' +she said. Clara from the beginning had feared that no good would come +of her aunt's visit to the town-hall. + +The business was put on foot at once, and with some little +flourishing at the commencement, Captain Aylmer made his speech;--the +same speech which we have all heard and read so often, specially +adapted to the meridian of Perivale. He was a Conservative, and of +course he told his hearers that a good time was coming; that he and +his family were really about to buckle themselves to the work, and +that Perivale would hear things that would surprise it. The malt tax +was to go, and the farmers were to have free trade in beer,--the +arguments from the other side having come beautifully round in their +appointed circle and old England was to be old England once again. He +did the thing tolerably well, as such gentlemen usually do, and +Perivale was contented with its Member, with the exception of one +Perivalian. To Mrs Winterfield, sitting up there and listening with +all her ears, it seemed that he had hitherto omitted all allusion to +any subject that was worthy of mention. At last he said some word +about the marriage and divorce court, condemning the iniquity of the +present law, to which Perivale had opposed itself violently by +petition and general meetings; and upon hearing this Mrs Winterfield +had thumped with her umbrella, and faintly cheered him with her weak +old voice. But the surrounding Perivalians had heard the cheer, and +it was repeated backward and forwards through the room, till the +Member's aunt thought that it might be her nephew's mission to annul +that godless Act of Parliament and restore the matrimonial bonds of +England to their old rigidity. When Captain Aylmer came out to hand +her up to her little carriage, she patted him, and thanked him, and +encouraged him; and on her way home she congratulated herself to +Clara that she should have such a nephew to leave behind in her +place. + +Captain Aylmer was dining with the Mayor on that evening, and Mrs +Winterfield was therefore able to indulge herself in talking about +him. 'I don't see much of young men, of course,' she said; 'but I do +not even hear of any that are like him.' Again Clara thought of her +cousin Will. Will was not at all like Frederic Aylmer; but was he not +better? And yet, as she thought thus, she remembered that she had +refused her cousin Will because she loved that very Frederic Aylmer +whom her mind was thus condemning. + +'I'm sure he does his duty as a Member of Parliament very well,' said +Clara. + +'That alone would not be much; but when that is joined to so much +that is better, it is a great deal. I am told that very few of the +men in the House now are believers at all.' + +'Oh, aunt!' + +'It is terrible to think of, my dear.' + +'But, aunt; they have to take some oath, or something of that sort, +to show that they are Christians.' + +'Not now, my dear. They've done away with all that since we had Jew +members. An atheist can go into Parliament now; and I'm told that +most of them are that, or nearly as bad. I can remember when no +Papist could sit in Parliament. But they seem to me to be doing away +with everything. It's a great comfort to me that Frederic is what he +is.' + +'I'm sure it must be, aunt.' + +Then there was a pause, during which, however, Mrs Winterfield gave +no sign that the conversation was to be considered as being over. +Clara knew her aunt's ways so well, that she was sure something more +was coming, and therefore waited patiently, without any thought of +taking up her book. 'I was speaking to him about you yesterday,' Mrs +Winterfield said at last. + +'That would not interest him very much.' + +'Why not? Do you suppose he is not interested in those I love? +Indeed, it did interest him; and he told me what I did not know +before, and what you ought to have told me.' + +Clara now blushed, she knew not why, and became agitated. 'I don't +know that I have kept anything from you that I ought to have told,' +she said. + +'He says that the provision made for you by your father has all been +squandered.' + +'If he used that word he has been very unkind,' said Clara, angrily. + +'I don't know what word he used, but he was not unkind at all; he +never is. I think he was very generous. + +'I do not want his generosity, aunt,' + +'That is nonsense, my dear. If he has told me the truth, what have +you to depend on?' + +'I don't want to depend on anything. I hate hearing about it.' + +'Clara, I wonder you can talk in that way. If you were only seventeen +it would be very foolish; but at your age it is inexcusable. When I +am gone, and your father is gone, who is to provide for you? Will +your cousin do it Mr Belton, who is to have the property?' + +'Yes, he would if I would let him of course I would not let him. But, +aunt, pray do not go on. I would sooner have to starve than talk +about it at all.' + +There was another pause; but Clara again knew that the conversation +was not over; and she knew also that it would be vain for her to +endeavour to begin another subject. Nor could she think of anything +else to say, so much was she agitated. + +'What makes you suppose that Mr Belton would be so liberal?' asked +Mrs Winterfield. + +'I don't know. I can't say. He is the nearest relation I shall have; +and of all the people I ever knew he is the best, and the most +generous, and the least selfish. When he came to us papa was quite +hostile to him disliking his very name; but when the time came, papa +could not bear to think of his going, because he had been so good.' + +'Clara!' + +'Well, aunt.' + +'I hope you know my affection for you.' + +'Of course I do, aunt; and I hope you trust mine for you also.' + +'Is there anything between you and Mr Belton besides cousinship?' + +'Nothing.' + +'Because if I thought that, my trouble would of course be at an end.' + +'There is nothing but pray do not lot me be a trouble to you.' Clara, +for a moment, almost resolved to tell her aunt the whole truth; but +she remembered that she would be treating her cousin badly if she +told the story of his rejection. + +There was another short period of silence, and then Mrs Winterfield +went on. 'Frederic thinks that I should make some provision for you +by will. That, of course, is the same as though he offered to do it +himself. I told him that it would be so, and I read him my will last +night. He said that that made no difference, and recommended me to +add a codicil. I asked him how much I ought to give you, and he said +fifteen hundred pounds. There will be as much as that after burying +me without burden to the estate. You must acknowledge that he has +been very generous.' + +But Clara, in her heart, did not at all thank Captain Aylmer for his +generosity. She would have had everything from him, or nothing. It +was grievous to her to think that she should owe to him a bare +pittance to keep her out of the workhouse to him who had twice seemed +to be on the point of asking her to share everything with him. She +did not love her cousin Will as she loved him; but her cousin Will's +assurance to her that he would treat her with a brother's care was +sweeter to her by far than Frederic Aylmer's well-balanced counsel to +his aunt on her behalf. In her present mood, too, she wanted no one +to have forethought for her; she desired no provision; for her, in +the discomfiture of heart, there was consolation in the feeling that +when she should find herself alone in the world, she would have been +ill-treated by her friends all round her. There was a charm in the +prospect of her desolation of which she did not wish to be robbed by +the assurance of some seventy pounds a year, to be given to her by +Captain Frederic Aylmer. To be robbed of one's grievance is the last +and foulest wrong a wrong under which the most enduring temper will +at last yield and become soured by which the strongest back will be +broken. 'Well, my dear,' continued Mrs Winterfield, when Clara made +no response to this appeal for praise. + +'It is so hard for me to say anything about it, aunt. What can I say +but that I don't want to be a burden to any one?' + +'That is a position which very few women can attain, that is, very +few single women.' + +'I think it would be well if all single women were strangled by the +time they are thirty,' said Clara with a fierce energy which +absolutely frightened her aunt. + +'Clara! how can you say anything so wicked so abominably wicked?' + +'Anything would be better than being twitted in this way. How can I +help it that I am not a man and able to work for my bread? But I am +not above being a housemaid, and so Captain Aylmer shall find. I'd +sooner be a housemaid, with nothing but my wages, than take the money +which you say he is to give me. It will be of no use, aunt, for I +shall not take it.' + +'It is I that am to leave it to you. It is not to be a present from +Frederic.' + +'It is the same thing, aunt. He says you are to do it; and you told +me just now that it was to come out of his pocket.' + +'I should have done it myself long ago, had you told me all the truth +about your father's affairs.' + +'How was I to tell you? I would sooner have bitten my tongue out. But +I will tell you the truth now. If I had known that all this was to be +said to me about money, and that our poverty was to be talked over +between you and Captain Aylmer, I would not have come to Perivale. I +would rather that you should be angry with me and think that I had +forgotten you.' + +'You would not say that, Clara, if you remembered that this will +probably be your last visit to me.' + +'No, no; it will not be the last. But do not talk about these things. +And it will be so much better that I should be here when he is not +here.' + +'I had hoped that when I died you might both be with me together as +husband and wife.' + +'Such hopes never come to anything.' + +'I still think that he would wish it.' + +'That is nonsense, aunt. It is indeed, for neither of us wish it.' A +lie on such a subject from a woman under such circumstances is hardly +to be considered a lie at all. It is spoken with no mean object, and +is the only bulwark which the woman has ready at her need to cover +her own weakness. + +'From what he said yesterday,' continued Mrs Winterfield, 'I think it +is your own fault.' + +'Pray pray do not talk in that way. It cannot be matter of any fault +that two people do not want to marry each other.' + +'Of course I asked him no positive question. It would be indelicate +even in me to have done that. But he spoke as though he thought very +highly of you.' + +'No doubt he does. And so do I of Mr Possitt.' + +'Mr Possitt is a very excellent young man,' said Mrs Winterfield, +gravely. Mr Possitt was, indeed, her favourite curate of Perivale, +and always dined at the house on Sundays between services, when Mrs +Winter-field was very particular in seeing that he took two glasses +of her best port wine to support him. 'But Mr Possitt has nothing but +his curacy.' + +'There is no danger, aunt, I can assure you.' + +'I don't know what you call danger; but Frederic seemed to think that +you are always sharp with him. You don't want to quarrel with him, I +hope, because I love him better than any one in the world?' + +'Oh, aunt, what cruel things you say to me without thinking of them!' + +'I do not mean to be cruel, but I will say nothing more about him. As +I told you before that I had not thought it expedient to leave away +any portion of my little property from Frederic believing, as I did +then, that the money intended for you by your father was still +remaining it is best that you should now know that I have at last +learnt the truth, and that I will at once see my lawyer about making +the change.' + +'Dear aunt, of course I thank you.' + +'I want no thanks, Clara. I humbly strive to do what I believe to be +my duty. I have never felt myself to be more than a steward of my +money. That I have often failed in my stewardship I know well for in +what duties do we not all fail?' Then she gently laid herself back in +her arm-chair, closing her eyes, while she kept fast clasped in her +hands the little book of daily devotion which she had been striving +to read when the conversation had been commenced. Clara knew then +that nothing more was to be said, and that she was not at present to +interrupt her aunt. From her posture, and the closing of her eyelids, +Mrs Winterfield might have been judged to be asleep; but Clara could +see the gentle motion of her lips, and was aware that her aunt was +solacing herself with prayer. + +Clara was angry with herself, and angry with all the world. She knew +that the old lady who was sitting then before her was very good; and +that all this that had now been said had come from pure goodness, and +a desire that strict duty might be done; and Clara was angry with +herself in that she had not been more ready with her thanks and more +demonstrative with her love and gratitude. Mrs Winterfield was +affectionate as well as good, and her niece's coldness, as the niece +well knew, had hurt her sorely. But still what could Clara have done +or said? She told herself that it was beyond her power to burst out +into loud praises of Captain Aylmer; and of such nature was the +gratitude which Mrs Winterfield had desired. She was not grateful to +Captain Aylmer, and wanted nothing that was to come from his +generosity. And then her mind went away to that other portion of her +aunt's discourse. Could it be possible that this man was in truth +attached to her, and was repelled simply by her own manner? She was +aware that she had fallen into a habit of fighting with him, of +sparring against him with words about indifferent things, and calling +his conduct in question in a manner half playful and half serious. +Could it be the truth that she was thus robbing herself of that which +would be to her as to herself she had frankly declared the one +treasure which she would desire? Twice, as has been said before, +words had seemed to tremble on his lips which might have settled the +question for her for ever; and on both occasions, as she knew, she +herself had helped to laugh off the precious word that had been +coming. But had he been thoroughly in earnest in earnest as she would +have him to be no laugh would have deterred him from his purpose. +Could she have laughed Will Belton out of his declaration? + +At last the lips ceased to move, and she knew that her aunt was in +truth asleep. The poor old lady hardly ever slept at night; but +nature, claiming something of its due, would give her rest such as +this in her arm-chair by the fire-side. They were sitting in a large +double drawing-room upstairs, in which there were, as was customary +with Mrs Winterfield in winter, two fires; and the candles were in +the back-room, while the two ladies sat in that looking out into the +street. This Mrs Winterfield did to save her eyes from the candles, +and yet to be within reach of light if it were wanted. And Clara also +sat motionless in the dark, careful not to disturb her aunt, and +desirous of being with her when she should awake. Captain Aylmer had +declared his purpose of being home early from the Mayor's dinner, and +the ladies were to wait for his arrival before tea was brought to +them. Clara was herself almost asleep when the door was opened, and +Captain Aylmer entered the room. + +'H--sh!' she said, rising gently from her chair, and putting up her +finger. He saw her by the dull light of the fire, and closed the door +without a sound. Clara then crept into the back-room and he followed +her with a noiseless step. 'She did not sleep at all last night,' +said Clara; 'and now the unusual excitement of the day has fatigued +her, and I think it is better not to wake her.' The rooms were large, +and they were able to place themselves at such a distance from the +sleeper that their low words could hardly disturb her. + +'Was she very tired when she got home? 'he asked. + +'Not very. She has been talking much since that.' + +'Has she spoken about her will to you?' + +'Yes she has.' + +'I thought she would.' Then he was silent, as though he expected that +she would speak again on that matter. But she had no wish to discuss +her aunt's will with him, and therefore, to break the silence, asked +him some trifling question. 'Are you not home earlier than you +expected? + +'It was very dull, and there was nothing more to be said. I did come +away early, and perhaps have given affront. I hope you will accept +the compliment implied.' + +'Your aunt will, when she wakes. She will be delighted to find you +here.' + +'I am awake,' said Mrs Winterfield. 'I heard Frederic come in. It is +very good of him to come so soon. Clara, my dear, we will have tea.' + +During tea, Captain Aylmer was called upon to give an account of the +Mayor's feast how the rector had said grace before dinner, and Mr +Possitt had done so after dinner, and how the soup had been +uneatable. 'Dear me!' said Mrs Winterfield. 'And yet his wife was +housekeeper formerly in a family that lived very well!' The Mrs +Winterfields of this world allow themselves little spiteful pleasures +of this kind, repenting of them, no doubt, in those frequent moments +in which they talk to their friends of their own terrible vilenesses. +Captain Aylmer then explained that his own health had been drunk, and +his aunt desired to know whether, in returning thanks, he had been +able to say anything further against that wicked Divorce Act of +Parliament. This her nephew was constrained to answer with a +negative, and so the conversation was carried on till tea was over. +She was very anxious to hear every word that he could be made to +utter as to his own doings in Parliament, and as to his doings in +Perivale, and hung upon him with that wondrous affection which old +people with warm hearts feel for those whom they have selected as +their favourites. Clara saw it all, and knew that her aunt was almost +doting. + +'I think I'll go up to bed now, my dears,' said Mrs Winterfield, when +she had taken her cup of tea. 'I am tired with those weary stairs in +the Town-hall, and I shall be better in my own room.' Clara offered +to go with her, but this attendance her aunt declined as she did +always. So the bell was rung, and the old maid-servant walked off +with her mistress, and Miss Amedroz and Captain Aylmer were left +together. + +'I don't think she will last long,' said Captain Aylmer, soon after +the door was closed. + +'I should be sorry to believe that; but she is certainly much +altered.' + +'She has great courage to keep her up and a feeling that she should +not give way, but do her duty to the last. In spite of all that, +however, I can see how changed she is since the summer. Have you ever +thought how sad it will be if she should be alone when the day +comes?' + +'She has Martha, who is more to her now than any one else unless it +is you.' + +'You could not remain with her over Christmas, I suppose?' + +'Who, I? What would my father do? Papa is as old, or nearly as old, +as my aunt.' + +'But he is strong.' + +'He is very lonely. He would be more lonely than she is, for he has +no such servant as Martha to be with him. Women can do better than +men, I think, when they come to my aunt's age.' + +From this they got into a conversation as to the character of the +lady with whom they were both so nearly connected, and, in spite of +all that Clara could do to prevent it, continual references were made +by Captain Aylmer to her money and will, and the need of an addition +to that will on Clara's behalf. At last she was driven to speak out. +'Captain Aylmer,' she said, 'the subject is so distasteful to me, +that I must ask you not to speak about it.' + +'In my position I am driven to think about it.' + +'I cannot, of course, help your thoughts; but I can assure you that +they are unnecessary.' + +'It seems to me so hard that there should be such a gulf between you +and me.' This he said after he had been silent for a while; and as he +spoke he looked away from her at the fire. + +'I don't know that there is any particular gulf,' she replied. + +'Yes, there is. And it is you that make it. Whenever I attempt to +speak to you as a friend you draw yourself off from me, and shut +yourself up. I know that it is not jealousy.' + +'Jealousy, Captain Aylmer!' + +'Jealousy with my aunt, I mean.' + +'No, indeed.' + +'You are infinitely too proud for that; but I am sure that a stranger +seeing it would think that it was so.' + +'I don't know what it is that I do or that I ought not to do. But all +my life everything that I have done at Perivale has always been +wrong.' + +'It would have been so natural that you and I should be friends.' + +'If we are enemies, Captain Aylmer, I don't know it.' + +'But if ever I venture to speak of your future life you always repel +me as though you were determined to let me know that it should not be +a matter of care to me.' + +'That is exactly what I am determined to let you know. You are, or +will be, a rich man, and you have everything the world can give you. +I am, or shall be, a very poor woman.' + +'Is that a reason why I should not be interested in your welfare?' + +'Yes the best reason in the world. We are not related to each other, +though we have a common connexion in dear Mrs Winterfield. And +nothing, to my idea, can be more objectionable than any sort of +dependence from a woman of my age on a man of yours there being no +real tie of blood between them. I have spoken very plainly, Captain +Aylmer, for you have made me do it.' + +'Very plainly,' he said. + +'If I have said anything to offend you, I beg your pardon; but I was +driven to explain myself.' + +Then she got up and took her bed-candle in her hand. + +'You have not offended me,' he said, as he also rose. + +'Good-night, Captain Aylmer.' + +He took her hand and kept it. 'Say that we are friends.' + +'Why should we not be friends?' + +'There is no reason on my part why we should not be the dearest +friends,' he said. 'Were it not that I am so utterly without +encouragement, I should say the very dearest.' He still held her +hand, and was looking into her face as he spoke. For a moment she +stood there, bearing his gaze, as though she expected some further +words to be spoken. Then she withdrew her hand, and again saying, in +a clear voice, 'Good-night, Captain Aylmer,' she left the room. + + + +CHAPTER IX + +CAPTAIN AYLMER'S PROMISE TO HIS AUNT + +What had Captain Aylmer meant by telling her that they might be the +dearest friends by saying so much as that, and then saying no more? +Of course Clara asked herself that question as soon as she was alone +in her bedroom, after leaving Captain Aylmer below. And she made two +answers to herself two answers which were altogether distinct and +contradictory one of the other. At first she decided that he had said +so much and no more because he was deceitful because it suited his +vanity to raise hopes which he had no intention of fulfilling because +he was fond of saying soft things which were intended to have no +meaning. This was her first answer to herself. But in her second she +accused herself as much as before she had accused him. She had been +cold to him, unfriendly, and harsh. As her aunt had told her, she +spoke sharp words to him, and repulsed the kindness which he offered +her. What right had she to expect from him a declaration of love when +she was studious to stop him at every avenue by which he might +approach it? A little management on her side would, she almost knew, +make things right. But then the idea of any such management +distressed her nay, more, disgusted her. The management, if any were +necessary, must come from him. And it was manifest enough that if he +had any strong wishes in this matter he was not a good manager. Her +cousin, Will Belton, knew how to manage much better. + +On the next morning, however, all her thoughts respecting Captain +Aylmer were dissipated by tidings which Martha brought to her +bedside. Her aunt was ill. Martha was afraid that her mistress was +very ill. She did not dare to send specially for the doctor on her +own responsibility, as Mrs Winterfield had strong and peculiar +feelings about doctors' visits, and had on this very morning declined +to be so visited. On the next day the doctor would come in the usual +course of things, for she had submitted for some years back to such +periodical visitings; but she had desired that nothing might be done +out of the common way. Martha, however, declared that if she were +alone with her mistress the doctor would be sent for; and she now +petitioned for aid from Clara. Clara was, of course, by her aunt's +bedside in a few minutes, and in a few minutes more the doctor from +the other side of the way was there also. + +It was ten o'clock before Captain Aylmer and Miss Amedroz met at +breakfast, and they had before that been together in Mrs +Winterfield's room. The doctor had told Captain Aylmer that his aunt +was very ill very ill, dangerously ill. She had been wrong to go into +such a place as the cold, unaired Town-hall, and that, too, in the +month of November; and the fatigue had also been too much for her. +Mrs Winterfield, too, had admitted to Clara that she know herself to +be very ill. 'I felt it coming on me last night,' she said, 'when I +was talking to you; and I felt it still more strongly when I left you +after tea. I have lived long enough. God's will be done.' At that +moment, when she said she had lived long enough, she forgot her +intention with reference to her will. But she remembered it before +Clara had left the room. 'Tell Frederic', she said, 'to send at once +for Mr Palmer.' Now Clara knew that Mr Palmer was the attorney, and +resolved that she would give no such message to Captain Aylmer. But +Mrs Winterfield sent for her nephew, who had just left her, and +herself gave her orders to him. In the course of the morning there +came tidings from the attorney's office that Mr Palmer was away from +Perivale, that he would be back on the morrow, and that he would of +course wait on Mrs Winterfield immediately on his return. + +Captain Aylmer and Miss Amedroz discussed nothing but their aunt's +state of health that morning over the breakfast-table. Of course, +under such circumstances in the house, there was no further immediate +reference made to that offer of dearest friendship. It was clear to +them both that the doctor did not expect that Mrs Winterfield would +again leave her bed; and it was clear to Clara also that her aunt was +of the same opinion. + +'I shall hardly be able to go home now,' she said. + +'It will be kind of you if you can remain.' + +'And you?' + +'I shall remain over the Sunday. If by that time she is at all +better, I will run up to town and come down again before the end of +the week. I know you don't believe it, but a man really has some +things which he must do.' + +'I don't disbelieve you, Captain Aylmer.' + +'But you must write to me daily if I do go.' + +To this Clara made no objection and she must write also to some one +else. She must let her cousin know how little chance there was that +she would be at home at Christmas, explaining to him at the same time +that his visit to her father would on that account be all the more +welcome. + +'Are you going to her now?' he asked, as Clara got up immediately +after breakfast. 'I shall be in the house all the morning, and if you +want me you will of course send for me.' + +'She may perhaps like to see you.' + +'I will come up every now and again. I would remain there altogether, +only I should be in the way.' Then he got a newspaper and made +himself comfortable over the fire, while she went up to her weary +task in her aunt's room. + +Neither on that day nor on the next did the lawyer come, and on the +following morning all earthly troubles were over with Mrs +Winterfield. It was early on the Sunday morning that she died, and +late on the Saturday evening Mr Palmer had sent up to say that he had +been detained at Taunton, but that he would wait on Mrs Winterfield +early on the Monday morning. On the Friday the poor lady had said +much on the subject, but had been comforted by an assurance from her +nephew that the arrangement should be carried out exactly as she +wished it, whether the codicil was or was not added to the will. To +Clara she said nothing more on the subject, nor at such a time did +Captain Aylmer feel that he could offer her any assurance on the +matter. But Clara knew that the will was not altered; and though at +the time she was not thinking much about money, she had, +nevertheless, very clearly made up her own mind as to her own +conduct. Nothing should induce her to take a present of fifteen +hundred pounds or, indeed, of as many pence from Captain Aylmer. +During those hours of sickness in the house they had been much thrown +together, and no one could have been kinder or more gentle to her +than he had been. He had come to call her Clara, as people will do +when joined together in such duties, and had been very pleasant as +well as affectionate in his manner with her. It had seemed to her +that he also wished to take upon himself the cares and love of an +adopted brother. But as an adopted brother she would have nothing to +do with him. The two men whom she liked best in the world would +assume each the wrong place; and between them both she felt that she +would be left friendless. + +On the Saturday afternoon they had both surmised how it was going to +be with Mrs Winterfield, and Captain Aylmer had told Mr Palmer that +he feared his coming on the Monday would be useless. He explained +also what was required, and declared that he would be at once ready +to make good the deficiency in the will Mr Palmer seemed to think +that this would be better even than the making of a codicil in the +last moments of the lady's life; and, therefore, he and Captain +Aylmer were at rest on that subject. + +During the greater part of the Saturday night both Clara and Captain +Aylmer remained with their aunt; and once when the morning was almost +there, and the last hour was near at hand, she had said a word or two +which both of them had understood, in which she implored her darling +Frederic to take a brother's care of Clara Amedroz. Even in that +moment Clara had repudiated the legacy, feeling sure in her heart +that Frederic Aylmer was aware what was the nature of the care which +he ought to owe, if he would consent to owe any care to her. He +promised his aunt that he would do as she desired him, and it was +impossible that Clara should then, aloud, repudiate the compact. But +she said nothing, merely allowing her hand to rest with his beneath +the thin, dry hand of the dying woman. To her aunt, however, when for +a moment they were alone together, she showed all possible affection, +with thanks and tears, and warm kisses, and prayers for forgiveness +as to all those matters in which she had offended. 'My pretty one my +dear,' said the old woman, raising her hand on to the head of the +crouching girl, who was hiding her moist eyes on the bed. Never +during her life had her aunt appeared to her in so loving a mood as +now, when she was leaving it. Then, with some eager impassioned +words, in which she pronounced her ideas of what should be the +religious duties of a woman, Mrs Winterfield bade farewell to her +niece. After that, she had a longer interview with her nephew, and +then it seemed that all worldly cares were over with her. + +The Sunday was passed in all that blackness of funeral grief which is +absolutely necessary on such occasions. It cannot be said that either +Clara or Captain Aylmer were stricken with any of that agony of woe +which is produced on us by the death of those whom we have loved so +well that we cannot bring ourselves to submit to part with them. They +were both truly sorry for their aunt, in the common parlance of the +world; but their sorrow was of that modified sort which does not numb +the heart and make the surviving sufferer feel that there never can +be a remedy. Nevertheless, it demanded sad countenances, few words, +and those spoken hardly above a whisper; an absence of all amusement +and almost of all employment, and a full surrender to the trappings +of woe. They two were living together without other companion in the +big house sitting down together to dinner and to tea; but on this day +hardly a dozen words were spoken between them, and those dozen were +spoken with no purport. On the Monday Captain Aylmer gave orders for +the funeral, and then went away to London, undertaking to be back on +the day before the last ceremony. Clara was rather glad that he +should be gone, though she feared the solitude of the big house. She +was glad that he should be gone, as she found it impossible to talk +to him with ease to herself. She knew that he was about to assume +some position as protector or quasi guardian over her in conformity +with her aunt's express wish, and she was quite resolved that she +would submit to no such guardianship from his hands. That being so, +the shorter period there might be for any such discussion the better. + +The funeral was to take place on the Saturday, and during the four +days that intervened she received two visits from Mr Possitt. Mr +Possitt was very discreet in what he said, and Clara was angry with +herself for not allowing his words to have any avail with her. She +told herself that they were commonplace; but she told herself, also, +after his first visit, that she had no right to expect anything else +but commonplace words. How often are men found who can speak words on +such occasions that are not commonplaces that really stir the soul, +and bring true comfort to the listener? The humble listener may +receive comfort even from commonplace words; but Clara was not +humble, and rebuked herself for her own pride. On the second occasion +of his coming she did endeavour to receive him with a meek heart, and +to accept what he said with an obedient spirit. But the struggle +within her bosom was hard, and when he bade her to kneel and pray +with him, she doubted for a moment between rebellion and hypocrisy. +But she had determined to be meek, and so hypocrisy carried the hour. + +What would a clergyman say on such an occasion if the object of his +solicitude were to decline the offer, remarking that prayer at that +moment did not seem to be opportune; and that, moreover, he, the +person thus invited, would like, first of all, to know what was to be +the special object of the proposed prayer, if he found that he could, +at the spur of the moment, bring himself at all into a fitting mood +for the task? Of him who would decline, without argument, the +clergyman would opine that he was simply a reprobate. Of him who +would propose to accompany an hypothetical acceptance with certain +stipulations, he would say to himself that he was a stiff-necked +wrestler against grace, whose condition was worse than that of the +reprobate. Men and women, conscious that they will be thus judged, +submit to the hypocrisy, and go down upon their knees unprepared, +making no effort, doing nothing while they are there, allowing their +consciences to be eased if they can only feel themselves numbed into +some ceremonial awe by the occasion. So it was with Clara, when Mr +Possitt, with easy piety, went through the formula of his devotion, +hardly ever having realized to himself the fact that of all works in +which man can engage himself, that of prayer is the most difficult. + +'It is a sad loss to me,' said Mr Possitt, as he sat for half an hour +with Clara, after she had thus submitted herself. Mr Possitt was a +weakly, pale-faced little man, who worked so hard in the parish that +on every day, Sundays included, he went to bed as tired in all his +bones as a day labourer from the fields 'a very great loss. There are +not many now who understand what a clergyman has to go through, as +our dear friend did.' If he was mindful of his two glasses of port +wine on Sundays, who could blame him? + +'She was a very kind woman, Mr Possitt.' + +'Yes, indeed and so thoughtful! That she will have an exceeding great +reward, who can doubt? Since I knew her she always lived as a saint +upon earth. I suppose there's nothing known as to who will live in +this house, Miss Amedroz?' + +'Nothing I should think.' + +'Captain Aylmer won't keep it in his own hands?' + +'I cannot tell in the least; but as he is obliged to live in London +because of Parliament, and goes to Yorkshire always in the autumn, he +can hardly want it. + +'I suppose not. But it will be a sad loss,--a sad loss to have this +house empty. Ah!--I shall never forget her kindness to me. Do you know, +Miss Amedroz,'--and as he told his little secret he became beautifully +confidential;--'do you know, she always used to send me ten guineas at +Christmas to help me along. She understood, as well as any one, how +hard it is for a gentleman to live on seventy pounds a year. You will +not wonder that I should feel that I've had a loss.' It is hard for a +gentleman to live upon seventy pounds a year; and it is very hard, +too, for a lady to live upon nothing a year, which lot in life fate +seemed to have in store for Miss Amedroz. + +On the Friday evening Captain Aylmer came back, and Clara was in +truth glad to see him. Her aunt's death had been now far enough back +to admit of her telling Martha that she would not dine till Captain +Aylmer had come, and to allow her to think somewhat of his comfort. +People must eat and drink even when the grim monarch is in the house; +and it is a relief when they first dare to do so with some attention +to the comforts which are ordinarily so important to them. For +themselves alone women seldom care to exercise much trouble in this +direction; but the presence of a man at once excuses and renders +necessary the ceremony of a dinner. So Clara prepared for the +arrival, and greeted the corner with some returning pleasantness of +manner. And he, too, was pleasant with her, telling her of his plans, +and speaking to her as though she were one of those whom it was +natural that he should endeavour to interest in his future welfare. + +'When I come back tomorrow,' he said, 'the will must be opened and +read. It had better be done here.' They were sitting over the fire in +the dining-room, after dinner, and Clara knew that the coming back to +which he alluded was his return from the funeral. But she made no +answer to this, as she wished to say nothing about her aunt's will. +'And after that,' he continued, 'you had better let me take you out.' + +'I am very well,' she said. 'I do not want any special taking out.' + +'But you have been confined to the house a whole week.' + +'Women are accustomed to that, and do not feel it as you would. +However, I will walk with you if you'll take me.' + +'Of course I'll take you. And then we must settle our future plans. +Have you fixed upon any day yet for returning? Of course, the longer +you stay, the kinder you will be.' + +'I can do no good to any one by staying.' + +'You do good to me but I suppose I'm nobody. I wish I could tell what +to do about this house. Dear, good old woman! I know she would have +wished that I should keep it in my own hands, with some idea of +living here at some future time but of course I shall never live +here.' + +'Why not?' + +'Would you like it yourself?' + +'I am not Member of Parliament for Perivale, and should not be the +leading person in the town. You would be a sort of king here; and +then, some day, you will have your mother's property as well as your +aunt's; and you would be near to your own tenants.' + +'But that does not answer my question. Could you bring yourself to +live here even if it were your own?' + +'Why not?' + +'Because it is so deadly dull because it has no attraction whatever +because of all lives it is the one you would like the least. No one +should live in a provincial town but they who make their money by +doing so.' + +'And what are the wives and daughters of such people to do and +especially their widows? I have no doubt I could live here very +happily if I had anybody near me that I liked. I should not wish to +have to depend altogether on Mr Possitt for society.' + +'And you would find him about the best.' + +'Mr Possitt has been with me twice whilst you were away, and he, too, +asked what you meant to do about the house.' + +'And what did you say?' + +'What could I say? Of course I said I did not know. I suppose he was +meditating whether you would live here and ask him to dinner on +Sundays!' + +'Mr Possitt is a very good sort of man,' said the captain, gravely +for Captain Aylmer, in the carrying out of his principles, always +spoke seriously of everything connected with the Church in Perivale. + +'And quite worthy to be asked to dinner on Sundays,' said Clara. 'But +I did not give him any hope. How could I? Of course I knew that you +would not live here, though I did not tell him so.' + +'No; I don't suppose I shall. But I see very plainly that you think I +ought to do so.' + +'I've the old-fashioned idea as to a man's living near to his own +property; that is all. No doubt it was good for other people in +Perivale, besides Mr Possitt, that my dear aunt lived here; and if +the house is shut up, or let to some stranger, they will feel her +loss the more. But I don't know that you are bound to sacrifice +yourself to them.' + +'If I were to marry,' said Captain Aylmer, very slowly and in a low +voice, 'of course I should have to think of my wife's wishes.' + +'But if your wife, when she accepted you, knew that you were living +here, she would hardly take upon herself to demand that you should +give up your residence.' + +'She might find it very dull.' + +'She would make her own calculations as to that before she accepted +you.' + +'No doubt but I can't fancy any woman taking a man who was tied by +his leg to Perivale. What do people do who live in Perivale?' + +'Earn their bread.' + +'Yes that's just what I said. But I shouldn't earn mine here.' + +'I have the feeling I spoke of very strongly about papa's place,' +said Clara, changing the conversation suddenly. 'I very often think +of the future fate of Belton Castle when papa shall have gone. My +cousin has got his house at Plaistow, and I don't suppose he'd live +there.' + +'And where will you go?' he asked. + +As soon as she had spoken, Clara regretted her own imprudence in +having ventured to speak upon her own affairs. She had been well +pleased to hear him talk of his plans, and had been quite resolved +not to talk of her own. But now, by her own speech, she had set him +to make inquiries as to her future life. She did not at first answer +the question; but he repeated it. 'And where will you live yourself?' + +'I hope I may not have to think of that for some time to come yet.' + +'It is impossible to help thinking of such things.' + +'I can assure you that I haven't thought about it; but I suppose I +shall endeavour to to I don't know what I shall endeavour to do.' + +'Will you come and live at Perivale?' + +'Why here more than anywhere else? + +'In this house I mean.' + +'That would suit me admirably would it not? I'm afraid Mr Possitt +would not find me a good neighbour. To tell the truth, I think that +any lady who lives here alone ought to be older than I am. The +Penvalians would not show to a young woman that sort of respect which +they have always felt for this house.' + +'I didn't mean alone,' said Captain Aylmer. + +Then Clara got up and made some excuse for leaving him, and there was +nothing more said between them nothing, at least, of moment, on that +evening. She had become uneasy when he asked her whether she would +like to live in his house at Perivale. But afterwards, when he +suggested that she was to have some companion with her there, she +felt herself compelled to put an end to the conversation. And yet she +knew that this was always the way, both with him and with herself. He +would say things which would seem to promise that in another minute +he would be at her feet, and then he would go no farther. And she, +when she heard those words though in truth size would have had him at +her feet if she could would draw away, and recede, and forbid him as +it were to go on. But Clara continued to make her comparisons, and +knew well that her cousin Will would have gone on in spite of any +such forbiddings. + +On that night, however, when she was alone, she could console herself +with thinking how right she had been. In that front bedroom, the door +of which was opposite to her own, with closed shutters, in the +terrible solemnity of lifeless humanity, was still lying the body of +her aunt! What would she have thought of herself if at such a moment +she could have listened to words of love, and promised herself as a +wife while such an inmate was in the house? She little knew that he, +within that same room, had pledged himself, to her who was now lying +there waiting for her last removal had pledged himself, just seven +days since, to make the offer which, when he was talking to her, she +was always half hoping and half fearing! + +He could have meant nothing else when he told her that he had not +intended to suggest that she should live there alone in that great +house at Perivale. She could not hinder herself from thinking of +this, unfit as was the present moment for any such thoughts. How was +it possible that she should not speculate on the subject, let her +resolutions against any such speculation be ever so strong? She had +confessed to herself that she loved the man, and what else could she +wish but that he also should love her? But there came upon her some +faint suspicion some glimpse of what was almost a dream that he +might possibly in this matter be guided rather by duty than by love. +It might be that he would feel himself constrained to offer his hand +to her constrained by the peculiarity of his position towards her. If +so should she discover that such were his motives there would be no +doubt as to the nature of her answer. + + + +CHAPTER X + +SHOWING HOW CAPTAIN AYLMER KEPT HIS PROMISE + +The next day was necessarily very sad. Clara had declared her +determination to follow her aunt to the churchyard, and did so, +together with Martha, the old servant. There were three or four +mourning coaches, as family friends came over from Taunton, one or +two of whom were to be present at the reading of the will. How +melancholy was the occasion, and how well the work was done; how +substantial and yet how solemn was the luncheon, spread after the +funeral for the gentlemen; and how the will was read, without a word +of remark, by Mr Palmer, need hardly be told here. The will contained +certain substantial legacies to servants the amount to that old +handmaid Martha being so great as to produce a fit of fainting, after +which the old handmaid declared that if ever there was, by any +chance, an angel of light upon the earth, it was her late mistress; +and yet Martha had had her troubles with her mistress; and there was +a legacy of two hundred pounds to the gentleman who was called upon +to act as co-executor with Captain Aylmer. Other clause in the will +there was none, except that one substantial clause which bequeathed +to her well-beloved nephew, Frederic Folliott Aylmer, everything of +which the testatrix died possessed. The will had been made at some +moment in which Clara's spirit of independence had offended her aunt, +and her name was not mentioned. That nothing should have been left to +Clara was the one thing that surprised the relatives from Taunton who +were present. The relatives from Taunton, to give them their due, +expected nothing for themselves; but as there had been great doubt as +to the proportions in which the property would be divided between the +nephew and adopted niece, there was aroused a considerable excitement +as to the omission of the name of Miss Amedroz an excitement which +was not altogether unpleasant. When people complain of some cruel +shame, which does not affect themselves personally, the complaint is +generally accompanied by an unexpressed and unconscious feeling of +satisfaction. + +On the present occasion, when the will had been read and refolded, +Captain Aylmer, who was standing on the rug near the fire, spoke a +few words. His aunt, he said, had desired to add a codicil to the +will, of the nature of which Mr Palmer was well aware. She had +expressed her intention to leave fifteen hundred pounds to her niece, +Miss Amedroz; but death had come upon her too quickly to enable her +to perform her purpose. Of this intention on the part of Mrs +Winterfield, Mr Palmer was as well aware as himself; and he mentioned +the subject now, merely with the object of saying that, as a matter +of course, the legacy to Miss Amedroz was as good as though the +codicil had been completed. On such a question as that there could +arise no question as to legal right; but he understood that the legal +claim of Miss Amedroz, under such circumstances, was as void as his +own. It was therefore no affair of generosity on his part. Then there +was a little buzz of satisfaction on the part of those present, and +the meeting was broken up. + +A certain old Mrs. Folliott, who was cousin to everybody concerned, +had come over from Taunton to see how things were going. She had +always been at variance with Mrs Winterfield, being a woman who loved +cards and supper parties, and who had throughout her life stabled her +horses in stalls very different to those used by the lady of +Perivale. Now this Mrs Folliott was the first to tell Clara of the +will. Clara, of course, was altogether indifferent. She had known for +months past that her aunt had intended to leave nothing to her, and +her only hope had been that she might be left free from any +commiseration or remark on the subject. But Mrs Folliott, with sundry +shakings of the head, told her how her aunt had omitted to name her +and then told her also of Captain Aylmer's generosity. 'We all did +think, my dear,' said Mrs Folliott, 'that she would have done better +than that for you, or at any rate that she would not have left you +dependent on him.' Captain Aylmer's horses were also supposed to be +stabled in strictly Low Church stalls, and were therefore regarded by +Mrs Folliott with much dislike. + +'I and my aunt understood each other perfectly,' said Clara. + +'I dare say. But if so, you really were the only person that did +understand her. No doubt what she did was quite right, seeing that +she was a saint; but we sinners would have thought it very wicked to +have made such a will, and then to have trusted to the generosity of +another person after we were dead.' + +'But there is no question of trusting to any one's generosity, Mrs +Folliott.' + +'He need not pay you a shilling, you know, unless he likes it.' + +'And he will not be asked to pay me a shilling.' + +'I don't suppose he will go back after what he has said publicly.' + +'My dear Mrs Folliott,' said Clara earnestly, 'pray do not let us +talk about it. It is quite unnecessary. I never expected any of my +aunt's property, and knew all along that it was to go to Captain +Aylmer,--who, indeed, was Mrs Winterfield's heir naturally. Mrs +Winterfield was not really my aunt, and I had no claim on her.' + +'But everybody understood that she was to provide for you.' + +'As I was not one of the everybodies myself, it will not signify.' +Then Mrs Folliott retreated, having, as she thought, performed her +duty to Clara, and contented herself henceforth with abusing Mrs +Winterfield's will in her own social circles at Taunton. + +On the evening of that day, when all the visitors were gone and the +house was again quiet, Captain Aylmer thought it expedient to explain +to Clara the nature of his aunt's will, and the manner in which she +would be allowed to inherit under it the amount of money which her +aunt had intended to bequeath to her. When she became impatient and +objected to listen to him, he argued with her, pointing out to her +that this was a matter of business to which it was now absolutely +necessary that she should attend. 'It may be the case,' he said, +'and, indeed, I hope it will, that no essential difference will be +made by it except that it will gratify you to know how careful she +was of your interests in her last moments. But you are bound in duty +to learn your own position; and I, as her executor, am bound to +explain it to you. But perhaps you would rather discuss it with Mr +Palmer.' + +'Oh no save me from that.' + +'You must understand, then, that I shall pay over to you the sum of +fifteen hundred pounds as soon as the will has been proved.' + +'I understand nothing of the kind. I know very well that if I were to +take it, I should be accepting a present from you, and to that I +cannot consent.' + +'But, Clara--' + +'It is no good, Captain Aylmer. Though I don't pretend to understand +much about law, I do know that I can have no claim to anything that +is not put into the will; and I won't have what I could not claim. My +mind is quite made up, and I hops I mayn't be annoyed about it. +Nothing is more disagreeable than having to discuss money matters.' + +Perhaps Captain Aylmer thought that the having no money matters to +discuss might be even more disagreeable. 'Well,' he said, 'I can only +ask you to consult any friend whom you can trust upon the matter. Ask +your father, or Mr Belton, and I have no doubt that either of them +will tell you that you are as much entitled to the legacy as though +it had been written in the will.' + +'On such a matter, Captain Aylmer, I don't want to ask anybody. You +can't pay me the money unless I choose to take it, and I certainly +shall not do that.' Upon hearing this he smiled, assuming, as Clara +fancied that he was sometimes wont to do, a look of quiet +superiority; and then, for that time, he allowed the subject to be +dropped between them. + +But Clara knew that she must discuss it at length with her father, +and the fear of that discussion made her unhappy. She had already +written to say that she would return home on the day but one after +the funeral, and had told Captain Aylmer of her purpose. So very +prudent a man as he of course could not think it right that a young +lady should remain with him, in his house, as his visitor; and to her +decision on this point he had made no objection. She now heartily +wished that she had named the day after the funeral, and that she had +not been deterred by her dislike of making a Sunday journey. She +dreaded this day, and would have been very thankful if he would have +left her and gone back to London. But he intended, he said, to remain +at Perivale throughout the next week, and she must endure the day as +best she might be able. She wished that it were possible to ask Mr +Possitt to his accustomed dinner; but she did not dare to make the +proposition to the master of the house. Though Captain Aylmer had +declared Mr Possitt to be a very worthy man, Clara surmised that he +would not be anxious to commence that practice of a Sabbatical dinner +so soon after his aunt's decease. The day, after all, would be but +one day, and Clara schooled herself into a resolution to bear it with +good humour. + +Captain Aylmer had made a positive promise to his aunt on her +deathbed that he would ask Clara Amedroz to be his wife, and he had +no more idea of breaking his word than he had of resigning the whole +property which had been left to him. Whether Clara would accept him +he had much doubt. He was a man by no means brilliant, not naturally +self-confident, nor was he, perhaps, to be credited with the +possession of high principles of the finest sort; but he was clever, +in the ordinary sense of the word, knowing his own interest, knowing, +too, that that interest depended on other things besides money; and +ha was a just man, according to the ordinary rules of justice in the +world. Not for the first time, when he was sitting by the bedside of +his dying aunt, had he thought of asking Clara to marry him. Though +he had never hitherto resolved that he would do so though he had +never till then brought himself absolutely to determine that he would +take so important a step he had pondered over it often, and was aware +that he was very fond of Clara. He was, in truth, as much in love +with her as it was in his nature to be in love. He was not a man to +break his heart for a girl nor even to make a strong fight for a +wife, as Belton was prepared to do. If refused once, he might +probably ask again having some idea that a first refusal was not +always intended to mean much and he might possibly make a third +attempt, prompted by some further calculation of the same nature. But +it might be doubted whether, on the first, second, or third occasion, +he would throw much passion into his words; and those who knew him +well would hardly expect to see him die of a broken heart, should he +ultimately be unsuccessful. + +When he had first thought of marrying Miss Amedroz he had imagined +that she would have shared with him his aunt's property, and indeed +such had been his belief up to the days of the last illness of Mrs +Winterfield. The match therefore had recommended itself to him as +being prudent as well as pleasant; and though his aunt had never +hitherto pressed the matter upon him, he had understood what her +wishes were. When she first told him, three or four days before her +death, that her property was left altogether to him, and then, on +hearing how totally her niece was without hope of provision from her +father, had expressed her desire to give a sum of money to Clara, she +had spoken plainly of her desire but she had not on that occasion +asked him for any promise. But afterwards, when she knew that she was +dying, she had questioned him as to his own feelings, and he, in his +anxiety to gratify her in her last wishes, had given her the promise +which she was so anxious to hear. He made no difficulty in doing so. +It was his own wish as well as hers. In a money point of view he +might no doubt now do better; but then money was not everything. He +was very fond of Clara, and felt that if she would accept him he +would be proud of his wife. She was well born and well educated, and +it was the proper sort of thing for him to do. No doubt he had some +idea, seeing how things had now arranged themselves, that he would be +giving much more than he would get; and perhaps the manner of his +offer might be affected by that consideration; but not on that +account did he feel at all sure that he would be accepted. Clara +Amedroz was a proud girl perhaps too proud. Indeed, it was her fault. +If her pride now interfered with her future fortune in life, it +should be her fault, not his. He would do his duty to her and to his +aunt he would do it perseveringly and kindly; and then, if she +refused him, the fault would not be his. + +Such, I think, was the state of Captain Aylmer's mind when he got up +on the Sunday morning, resolving that he would on that day make good +his promise. And it must be remembered, on his behalf, that he would +have prepared himself for his task with more animation if he had +hitherto received warmer encouragement. He had felt himself to be +repulsed in the little efforts which he had already made to please +the lady, and had no idea whatever as to the true state of her +feelings. Had he known what she knew, he would, I think, have been +animated enough, and gone to his task as happy and thriving a lover +as any. But he was a man somewhat diffident of himself, though +sufficiently conscious of the value of the worldly advantages which +he possessed and he was, perhaps, a little afraid of Clara, giving +her credit for an intellect superior to his own. + +He had promised to walk with her on the Saturday after the reading of +the will, intending to take her out through the gardens down to a +farm, now belonging to himself, which lay at the back of the town, +and which was held by an old widow who had been senior in life to her +late landlady; but no such walk had been possible, as it was dark +before the last of the visitors from Taunton had gone. At breakfast +on Sunday he again proposed the walk, offering to take her +immediately after luncheon. 'I suppose you will not go to church?' he +said. + +'Not today. I could hardly bring myself to do it today.' + +'I think you are right. I shall go. A man can always do these things +sooner than a lady can. But you will come out afterwards?' To this +she assented, and then she was left alone throughout the morning. The +walk she did not mind. That she and Captain Aylmer should walk +together was all very well. They might probably have done so had Mrs +Winterfield been still alive. It was the long evening afterwards that +she dreaded the long winter evening, in which she would have to sit +with him as his guest, and with him only. She could not pass these +hours without talking to him, and she felt that she could not talk to +him naturally and easily. It would, however, be but for once, and she +would bear it. + +They went together down to the house of Mrs Partridge, the tenant, +and made their kindly speeches to the old woman. Mrs Partridge +already knew that Captain Aylmer was to be her landlord, but having +hitherto seen more of Miss Amedroz than of the captain, and having +always regarded her landlady's niece as being connected irrevocably +with the property, she addressed them as though the estate were a +joint affair. + +'I shan't be here to trouble you long that I shan't, Miss Clara,' +said the old woman. + +'I am sure Captain Aylmer would be very sorry to lose you,' replied +Clara, speaking loud, and close to the poor woman's ear, for she was +deaf. + +'I never looked to live after she was gone, Miss Clara never. No more +I didn't. Deary deary! And I suppose you'll be living at the big +house now; won't ye?' + +'The big house belongs to Captain Aylmer, Mrs Partridge.' She was +driven to bawl out her words, and by no means liked the task. Then +Captain Aylmer said something, but his speech was altogether lost. + +'Oh it belongs to the captain, do it? They told me that was the way +of the will; but I suppose it's all one.' + +'Yes; it's all one,' said Captain Aylmer, gaily. + +'It's not exactly all one, as you call it,' said Clara, attempting to +laugh, but still shouting at the top of her voice. + +'Ah I don't understand; but I hope you'll both live there together +and I hope you'll be as good to the poor as she that is gone. Well, +well; I didn't ever think that I should be still here, while she is +lying under the stones up in the old church!' + +Captain Aylmer had determined that he would ask his question on the +way back from the farm, and now resolved that he might as well begin +with some allusion to Mrs Partridge's words about the house. The +afternoon was bright and cold, and the lane down to the farmhouse had +been dried by the wind, so that the day was pleasant for walking. 'We +might as well go on to the bridge,' he said, as they left the +farm-yard. 'I always think that Perivale church looks better from +Creevy bridge than any other point.' Perivale church stood high in +the centre of the town, on an eminence, and was graced with a spire +which was declared by the Perivalians to be preferable to that of +Salisbury in proportion, though it was acknowledged to be somewhat +inferior to it in height. The little river Creevy, which ran through +a portion of the suburbs of the town, and which, as there seen, was +hardly more than a ditch, then sloped away behind Creevy Grange, as +the farm of Mrs Partridge was called, and was crossed by a small +wooden bridge, from which there was a view, not only of the church, +but of all that side of the hill on which Mrs Winterfield's large +brick house stood conspicuously. + +So they walked down to Creevy bridge, and, when there, stood leaning +on the parapet and looking back upon the town. + +'How well I know every house and spot in the place as I see them from +here,' he said. + +'A good many of the houses are your own or will be some day; and +therefore you should know them.' + +'I remember, when I used to be here as a boy fishing, I always +thought Aunt Winterfield's house was the biggest house in the +county.' + +'It can't be nearly so large as your father's house in Yorkshire.' + +'No; certainly it is not. Aylmer Park is a large place; but the house +does not stretch itself out so wide as that; nor does it stand on the +side of a hill so as to show out its proportions with so much +ostentation. The coach-house and the stables, and the old brewhouse, +seem to come half way down the hill. And when I was a boy I had much +more respect for my aunt's red-brick house in Perivale than I had for +Aylmer Park.' + +'And now it's your own.' + +'Yes; now it's my own and all my respect for it is gone. I used to +think the Creevy the best river in England for fish; but I wouldn't +give a sixpence now for all the perch I ever caught in it.' + +'Perhaps your taste for perch is gone also.' + +'Yes; and my taste for jam. I never believed in the store-room at +Aylmer Park as I did in my aunt's store-room here.' + +'I don't doubt but what it is full now.' + +'I dare say; but I shall never have the curiosity even to inquire. +Ah, dear I wish I knew what to do about the house.' + +'You won't sell it, I suppose?' + +'Not if I could either live in it, or let it. It would be wrong to +let it stand idle.' + +'But you need not decide quite at once.' + +'That's just what I want to do. I want to decide at once.' + +'Then I'm sure I cannot advise you. It seems to me very unlikely that +you should come and live here by yourself. It isn't like a +country-house exactly.' + +'I shan't live there by myself certainly. You heard what Mrs +Partridge said just now.' + +'What did Mrs Partridge say?' + +'She wanted to know whether it belonged to both of us, and whether it +was not all one. Shall it be all one, Clara?' + +She was leaning over the rail of the bridge as he spoke, with her +eyes fixed on the slowly moving water. When she heard his words she +raised her face and looked full upon him. She was in some sort +prepared for the moment, though it would be untrue to say that she +had now expected it. Unconsciously she had made some resolve that if +ever the question were put to her by him, she would not be taken +altogether off her guard; and now that the question was put to her, +she was able to maintain her composure. Her first feeling was one of +triumph as it must be in such a position to any woman who has already +acknowledged to herself that she loves the man who then asks her to +be his wife. She looked up into Captain Aylmer's face and his eye +almost quailed beneath hers. Even should he be triumphant, he was not +perfectly assured that his triumph would be a success. + +'Shall what be all one?' she asked. + +'Shall it be in your house and my house? Can you tell me that you +will love me and be my wife?' Again she looked at him, and he +repeated his question. 'Clara, can you love me well enough to take me +for your husband?' + +'I can,' she said. Why should she hesitate, and play the coy girl, +and pretend to any doubts in her mind which did not exist there? She +did love him, and had so told herself with much earnestness. To him, +while his words had been doubtful while he had simply played at +making love to her, she had given no hint of the state of her +affections. She had so carried herself before him as to make him +doubt whether success could be possible for him. But now why should +she hesitate now? It was as she had hoped or as she had hardly dared +to hope. He did love her. 'I can,' she said; and then, before he +could speak again, she repeated her words with more emphasis. 'Indeed +I can; with all my heart.' + +As regarded herself, she was quite equal to the occasion; but had she +known more of the inner feelings of men and women in general, she +would have been slower to show her own. What is there that any man +desires any man or any woman that does not lose half its value when +it is found to be easy of access and easy of possession? Wine is +valued by its price, not its flavour. Open your doors freely to Jones +and Smith, and Jones and Smith will not care to enter them. Shut your +doors obdurately against the same gentlemen, and they will use all +their little diplomacy to effect an entrance. Captain Aylmer, when he +heard the hearty tone of the girl's answer, already began almost to +doubt whether it was wise on his part to devote the innermost bin of +his cellar to wine that was so cheap. + +Not that he had any idea of receding. Principle, if not love, +prevented that. 'Then the question about the house is decided,' he +said, giving his hand to Clara as he spoke. + +'I don't care a bit about the house now,' she answered. + +'That's unkind.' + +'I am thinking so much more of you of you and of myself. What does an +old house matter?' + +'It's in very good repair,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'You must not laugh at me,' she said; and in truth he was not +laughing at her. 'What I mean is that anything about a house is +indifferent to me now. It is as though I had got all that I want in +the world. Is it wrong of me to say so?' + +'Oh, dear, no not wrong at all. How can it be wrong?' He did not tell +her that he also had got all he wanted; but his lack of enthusiasm in +this respect did not surprise her, or at first even vex her. She had +always known him to be a man careful of his words knowing their value +not speaking with hurried rashness as would her dear cousin Will. And +she doubted whether, after all, such hurried words mean as much as +words which are slower and calmer. After all his heat in love and +consequent disappointment, Will Belton had left her apparently well +contented. His fervour had been short-lived. She loved her cousin +dearly, and was so very glad that his fervour had been short-lived! + +'When you asked me, I could but tell you the truth,' she said, +smiling at him. + +The truth is very well, but he would have liked it better had the +truth come to him by slower degrees. When his aunt had told him to +marry Clara Amedroz, he had been at once reconciled to the order by a +feeling on his own part that the conquest of Clara would not be too +facile. She was a woman of value, not to be snapped up easily or by +any one. So he had thought then; but he began to fancy now that he +had been wrong in that opinion. + +The walk back to the house was not of itself very exciting, though to +Clara it was a short period of unalloyed bliss. No doubt had then +come upon her to cloud her happiness, and she was 'wrapped up in +measureless content.' It was well that they should both be silent at +such a moment. Only yesterday had been buried their dear old friend +the friend who had brought them together, and been so anxious for +their future happiness! And Clara Amedroz was not a young girl, prone +to jump out of her shoes with elation because she had got a lover. +She could be steadily happy without many immediate words about her +happiness. When they reached the house, and were once more together +in the drawing-room, she again gave him her hand, and was the first +to speak. And you; are you contented?' she asked. Who does not know +the smile of triumph with which a girl asks such a question at such a +moment as that? + +'Contented? well yes; I think I am,' he said. + +But even those words did not move her to doubt. 'If you are,' she +said,' I am. And now I will leave you till dinner, that you may think +over what you have done.' + +'I had thought about it before, you know,' he replied. Then he +stooped over her and kissed her. It was the first time he had done +so; but his kiss was as cold and proper as though they had been man +and wife for years! But it sufficed for her, and she went to her room +as happy as a queen. + + + +CHAPTER XI + +MISS AMEDROZ IS TOO CANDID BY HALF + +Clara, when she left her accepted lover in the drawing-room and went +up to her own chamber, had two hours for consideration before she +would see him again and she had two hours for enjoyment. She was very +happy. She thoroughly believed in the man who was to be her husband, +feeling confident that he possessed those qualities which she thought +to be most necessary for her married happiness. She had quizzed him +at times, pretending to make it matter of accusation against him that +his life was not in truth all that his aunt believed it to be but had +it been more what Mrs Winterfield would have wished, it would have +been less to Clara's taste. She liked his position in the world; she +liked the feeling that he was a man of influence; perhaps she liked +to think that to some extent he was a man of fashion. He was not +handsome, but he looked always like a gentleman. He was well +educated, given to reading, prudent, steady in his habits, a man +likely to rise in the world; and she loved him. I fear the reader by +this time may have begun to think that her love should never have +been given to such a man. To this accusation I will make no plea at +present, but I will ask the complainant whether such men are not +always loved. Much is said of the rashness of women in giving away +their hearts wildly; but the charge when made generally is, I think, +an unjust one. I am more often astonished by the prudence of girls +than by their recklessness. A woman of thirty will often love well +and not wisely; but the girls of twenty seem to me to like propriety +of demeanour, decency of outward life, and a competence. It is, of +course, good that it should be so; but if it is so, they should not +also claim a general character for generous and passionate +indiscretion, asserting as their motto that Love shall still be Lord +of All. Clara was more than twenty; but she was not yet so far +advanced in age as to have lost her taste for decency of demeanour +and propriety of life. A Member of Parliament, with a small house +near Eaton Square, with a moderate income, and a liking for +committees, who would write a pamphlet once every two years, and read +Dante critically during the recess, was, to her, the model for a +husband. For such a one she would read his blue books, copy his +pamphlets, and learn his translations by heart. She would be safe in +the hands of such a man, and would know nothing of the miseries which +her brother had encountered. Her model may not appear, when thus +described, to be a very noble one; but I think it is the model most +approved among ladies of her class in England. + +She made up her mind on various points during those two hours of +solitude. In the first place, she would of course keep her purpose of +returning home on the following day. It was not probable that Captain +Aylmer would ask her to change it; but let him ask ever so much it +must not be changed. She must at once have the pleasure of telling +her father that all his trouble about her would now be over; and +then, there was the consideration that her further sojourn in the +house, with Captain Aylmer as her lover, would hardly be more proper +than it would have been had he not occupied that position. And what +was she to say if he pressed her as to the time of their marriage? +Her aunt's death would of course be a sufficient reason why it should +be delayed for some few months; and, upon the whole, she thought it +would be best to postpone it till the next session of Parliament +should have nearly expired. But she would be prepared to yield to +Captain Aylmer, should he name any time after Easter. It was clearly +his intention to keep up the house in Perivale as his country +residence. She did not like Perivale or the house, but she would say +nothing against such am arrangement. Indeed, with what face could she +do so? She was going to bring nothing to the common account +absolutely nothing but herself! As she thought of this her love grew +warmer, and she hardly knew how sufficiently to testify to herself +her own gratitude and affection. + +She became conscious, as she was preparing herself for dinner, of +some special attention to her toilet. She was more than ordinarily +careful with her hair, and felt herself to be aware of an anxiety to +look her best. She had now been for some time so accustomed to dress +herself in black, that in that respect her aunt's death had made no +difference to her. Deep mourning had ceased from habit to impress her +with any special feeling of funereal solemnity. But something about +herself, or in the room, at last struck her with awe, bidding her +remember how death had of late been busy among those who had been her +dearest and nearest friends; and she sat down, almost frightened at +her own heartlessness, in that she was allowing herself to be happy +at such a time. Her aunt had been carried away to her grave only +yesterday, and her brother's death had occurred under circumstances +of peculiar distress within the year and yet she was happy, +triumphant almost lost in the joy of her own position! She remained +for a while in her chair, with her black dress hanging across her +lap, as she argued with herself as to her own state of mind. Was it a +sign of a hard heart within her, that she could be happy at such a +time? Ought the memory of her poor brother to have such an effect +upon her as to make any joy of spirits impossible to her? Should she +at the present moment be so crushed by her aunt's demise, as to be +incapable of congratulating herself upon her own success? Should she +have told him, when he asked her that question upon the bridge, that +there could be no marrying or giving in marriage between them, no +talking on such a subject in days so full of sorrow as these? I do +not know that she quite succeeded in recognizing it as a truth that +sorrow should be allowed to bar out no joy that it does not bar +out of absolute necessity by its own weight, without reference +to conventional ideas; that sorrow should never, under any +circumstances, be nursed into activity, as though it were a thing in +itself divine or praiseworthy. I do not know that she followed out +her arguments till she had taught herself that it is the Love that is +divine the Love which, when outraged by death or other severance, +produces that sorrow which man would control if he were strong +enough, but which he cannot control by reason of the weakness of his +humanity. I doubt whether so much as this made itself plain to her, +as she sat there before her toilet table, with her sombre dress +hanging from her hands on to the ground. But something of the +strength of such reasoning was hers. Knowing herself to be full of +joy, she would not struggle to make herself believe that it behoved +her to be unhappy. She told herself that she was doing what was good +for others as well as for herself what would be very good for her +father, and what should be good, if it might be within her power to +make it so, for him who was to be her husband. The blackness of the +cloud of her brother's death would never altogether pass away from +her. It had tended, as she knew well, to make her serious, grave, and +old, in spite of her own efforts to the contrary. The cloud had been +so black with her that it had nearly lost for her the prize which was +now her own. But she told herself that that blackness was an injury +to her, and not a benefit, and that it had now become a duty to her +for his sake, if not for her own to dispel its shadows rather than +encourage them. She would go down to him full of joy, though not full +of mirth, and would confess to him frankly, that in receiving the +assurance of his love, she had received everything that had seemed to +have any value for her in the world. + +Hitherto she had been independent she had specially been careful to +show to him her resolve to be independent of him. Now she would put +aside all that, and let him know that she recognized in him her lord +and master as well as husband. To her father had been left no +strength on which she could lean, and she had been forced therefore +to trust to her own strength. Now she would be dependent on him who +was to be her husband. As heretofore she had rejected his offers of +assistance almost with disdain, so now would she accept them without +scruple, looking to him to be her guide in all things, putting from +her that carping spirit in which she had been wont to judge of his +actions, and believing in him as a wife should believe in her +husband. + +Such were the resolutions which Clara made in the first hour of +solitude which came to her after her engagement; and they would have +been wise resolutions but for this flaw that the stronger was +submitting itself to the weaker, the greater to the less, the more +honest to the less honest, that which was nearly true to that which +was in great part false. The theory of man and wife that special +theory in accordance with which the wife is to bend herself in loving +submission before her husband is very beautiful; and would be good +altogether if it could only be arranged that the husband should be +the stronger and the greater of the two. The theory is based upon +that hypothesis and the hypothesis sometimes fails of confirmation. +In ordinary marriages the vessel rights itself, and the stronger and +the greater takes the lead, whether clothed in petticoats, or in +coat, waistcoat, and trousers; but there sometimes comes a terrible +shipwreck, when the woman before marriage has filled herself full +with ideas of submission, and then finds that her golden-headed god +has got an iron body and feet of clay. + +Captain Aylmer, when he was left alone, had also something to think +about; and as there were two hours left for such thought before he +would again meet Clara, and as he had nothing else with which to +occupy himself during those two hours, he again strolled down to the +bridge on which he had made his offer. He strolled down there, +thinking that he was thinking, but hardly giving much mind to his +thoughts, which he allowed to run away with themselves as they +listed. Of course he was going to be married. That was a thing +settled. And he was perfectly satisfied with himself in that he had +done nothing in a hurry, and could accuse himself of no folly even if +he had no great cause for triumph. He had been long thinking that he +should like to have Clara Amedroz for his wife long thinking that he +would ask her to marry him; and having for months indulged such +thoughts, he could not take blame to himself for having made to his +aunt that deathbed promise which she had exacted. At the moment in +which she asked him the question he was himself anxious to do the +thing she desired of him. How then could he have refused her? And, +having given the promise, it was a matter of course with him to +fulfil it. He was a man who would have never respected himself again +would have hated himself for ever, had he failed to keep a promise +from which no living being could absolve him. He had been right +therefore to make the promise, and having made it, had been right to +keep it, and to do the thing at once. And Clara was very good and +very wise, and sometimes looked very well, and would never disgrace +him; and as she was in worldly matters to receive much and give +nothing, she would probably be willing to make herself amenable to +any arrangements as to their future mode of life which he might +propose. In respect of this matter he was probably thinking of +lodgings for himself in London during the parliamentary session, +while she remained alone in the big red house upon which his eyes +were fixed at the time. There was much of convenience in all this, +which might perhaps atone to him for the sacrifice which he was +undoubtedly making of himself. Had marriage simply been of itself a +thing desirable, he could doubtless have disposed of himself to +better advantage. His prospects, present fortune, and general +position were so favourable, that he might have dared to lift his +expectations, in regard both to wealth and rank, very high. The +Aylmers were a considerable people, and he, though a younger brother, +had much more than a younger brother's portion. His seat in +Parliament was safe; his position in society was excellent and +secure; he was exactly so placed that marriage with a fortune was the +only thing wanting to put the finishing coping-stone to his edifice +that, and perhaps also the useful glory of having some Lady Mary or +Lady Emily at the top of his table. Lady Emily Aylmer? Yes it would +have sounded better, and there was a certain Lady Emily who might +have suited. Now, as some slight regrets stole upon him gently, he +failed to remember that this Lady Emily had not a shilling in the +world. + +Yes; some faint regrets did steal upon him, though he went on telling +himself that he had acted rightly. His stars, which were generally +very good to him, had not perhaps on this occasion been as good as +usual. No doubt he had to a certain degree become encumbered with +Clara Amedroz. Had not the direct and immediate leap with which she +had come into his arms shown him somewhat too plainly that one word +of his mouth tending towards matrimony had been regarded by her as +being too valuable to be lost? The fruit that falls easily from the +tree, though it is ever the best, is never valued by the gardener. +Let him have well-nigh broken his neck in gathering it, unripe and +crude, from the small topmost boughs of the branching tree, and the +pippin will be esteemed by him as invaluable. On that morning, as +Captain Aylmer had walked home from church, he had doubted much what +would be Clara's answer to him. Then the pippin was at the end of the +dangerous bough. Now it had fallen to his feet, and he did not +scruple to tell himself that it was his and always might have been +his as a matter of course. Well, the apple had come of a good kind, +and, though there might be specks upon it, though it might not be fit +for any special glory of show or pride of place among the dessert +service, still it should be garnered and used, and no doubt would be +a very good apple for eating. Having so concluded, Captain Aylmer +returned to the house, washed his hands, changed his boots, and went +down to the drawing-room just as dinner was ready. + +She came up to him almost radiant with joy, and put her hand upon his +arm. 'Martha did not know but what you were here,' she said, 'and +told them to put dinner on the table.' + +'I hope I have not kept you waiting.' + +'Oh, dear, no. And what if you did? Ladies never care about things +getting cold. It is gentlemen only who have feelings in such matters +as that.' + +'I don't know that there is much difference; but, however--' Then they +were in the dining-room, and as the servant remained there during +dinner, there was nothing in their conversation worth repeating. +After dinner they still remained down stairs, seating themselves on +the two sides of the fire, Clara having fully resolved that she would +not on such an evening as this leave Captain Aylmer to drink his +glass of port wine by himself. + +'I suppose I may stay with you, mayn't I?' she said. + +'Oh, dear, yes; I'm sure I'm very much obliged. I'm not at all wedded +to solitude.' Then there was a slight pause. + +'That's lucky,' she said 'as you have made up your mind to be wedded +in another sort of way.' Her voice as she spoke was very low, but +there was a gentle ring of restrained joyousness in it which ought to +have gone at once to his heart and made him supremely blessed for the +time. + +'Well yes,' he answered. 'We are in for it now, both of us are we +not? I hope you have no misgivings about it, Clara.' + +'Who? I? I have misgivings! No, indeed. I have no misgivings, +Frederic; no doubts, no scruples, no alloy in my happiness. With me +it is all as I would have it be. Ah; you haven't understood why it +has been that I have seemed to be harsh to you when we have met.' + +'No, I have not,' said he. This was true; but it is true also that it +would have been well that he should be kept in his ignorance. She was +minded, however, to tell him everything, and therefore she went on. + +'I don't know how to tell you; and yet, circumstanced as we are now, +it seems that I ought to tell you everything.' + +'Yes, certainly; I think that,' said Aylmer. He was one of those men +who consider themselves entitled to see, hear, and know every little +detail of a woman's conduct, as a consequence of the circumstances of +his engagement, and who consider themselves shorn of their privilege +if anything be kept back. If any gentleman had said a soft word to +Clara eight years ago, that soft word ought to be repeated to him +now. I am afraid that these particular gentlemen sometimes hear some +fibs; and I often wonder that their own early passages in the +tournays of love do not warn them that it must be so. When James has +sat deliciously through all the moonlit night with his arm round +Mary's waist and afterwards sees Mary led to the altar by John, does +it not occur to him that some John may have also sat with his arm +round Anna's waist that Anna whom he is leading to the altar? These +things should not be inquired into too curiously; but the curiosity +of some men on such matters has no end. For the most part, women like +telling only they do not choose to be pressed beyond their own modes +of utterance. 'I should like to know that I have your full +confidence,' said he. + +'You have got my full confidence,' she replied. + +'I mean that you should tell me anything that there is to be told.' + +'It was only this, that I had learned to love you before I thought +that my love would be returned.' + +'Oh was that it?' said Captain Aylmer, in a tone which seemed to +imply something like disappointment. + +'Yes. Fred; that was It. And how could I, under such circumstances, +trust myself to be gentle with you, or to look to you for assistance? +How could I guess then all that I know now?' + +'Of course you couldn't.' + +'And therefore I was driven to be harsh. My aunt used to speak to me +about it.' + +'I don't wonder at that, for she was very anxious that we should be +married.' + +Clara for a moment felt herself to be uncomfortable as she heard +these words, half perceiving that they implied some instigation on +the part of Mrs Winterfield. Could it be that Captain Aylmer's offer +had been made in obedience to a promise? 'Did you know of her +anxiety?' she asked. + +'Well yes; that is to say, I guessed it. It was natural enough that +the same idea should come to her and to me too. Of course, seeing us +so much thrown together, she could not but think of our being married +as a chance upon the cards.' + +'She used to tell me that I was harsh to you abrupt, she called it. +But what could I do? I'll tell you, Fred, how I first found out that +I really cared for you. What I tell you now is of course a secret; +and I should speak of it to no one under any circumstances but those +which unite us two together. My Cousin Will, when he was at Belton, +made me an offer.' + +'He did, did he? You did not tell me that when you were saying all +those fine things in his praise in the railway carriage.' + +Of course I did not. Why should I? I wasn't bound to tell you my +secrets then, sir.' + +'But did he absolutely offer to you?' + +'Is there anything so wonderful in that? But, wonderful or not, he +did.' + +'And you refused him?' + +'I refused him certainly.' + +'It wouldn't have been a bad match, if all that you say about his +property is true.' + +'If you come to that, it would have been a very good match; and +perhaps you think I was silly to decline it?' + +'I don't say that.' + +'Papa thought so but, then, I couldn't tell papa the whole truth, as +I can tell it to you now, Captain Aylmer. I couldn't tell dear papa +that my heart was not my own to give to my Cousin Will; nor could I +give Will any such reason. Poor Will! I could only say to him bluntly +that I wouldn't have him.' + +'And you would, if it hadn't been hadn't been for me.' + +'Nay, Fred; there you tax me too far. What might have come of my +heart if you hadn't fallen in my way, who can say? I love Will Belton +dearly, and hope that you may do so--' + +'I must see him first.' + +'Of course;--but, as I was saying, I doubt whether, under any +circumstances, he would have been the man I should have chosen for a +husband. But as it was,--it was impossible. Now you know it all, and I +think that I have been very frank with you.' + +'Oh! very frank.' He would not take her little jokes, nor understand +her little prettinesses. That he was a man not prone to joking she +knew well, but still it went against the grain with her to find that +he was so very hard in his replies to her attempts. + +It was not easy for Clara to carry on the conversation after this, so +she proposed that they should go upstairs into the drawing-room. Such +a change even as that would throw them into a different way of +talking, and prevent the necessity of any further immediate allusion +to Will Belton. For Clara was aware, though she hardly knew why, that +her frankness to her future husband had hardly been successful, and +she regretted that she had on this occasion mentioned her cousin's +name. They went upstairs and again sat themselves in chairs over the +fire; but for a while conversation did not seem to come to them +freely. Clara felt that it was now Captain Aylmer's turn to begin, +and Captain Aylmer felt that he wished he could read the newspaper. +He had nothing in particular that he desired to say to his lady-love. +That morning, as he was shaving himself, he had something to say that +was very particular as to which he was at that moment so nervous, +that he had cut himself slightly through the trembling of his hand. +But that had now been said, and he was nervous no longer. That had +now been said, and the thing settled so easily, that he wondered at +his own nervousness. He did not know that there was anything that +required much further immediate speech. Clara had thought somewhat of +the time which might be proposed for their marriage, making some +little resolves, with which the reader is already acquainted; but no +ideas of this kind presented themselves to Captain Aylmer. He had +asked his cousin to be his wife, thereby making good his promise to +his aunt. There could be no further necessity for pressing haste. +Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof. + +It is not to be supposed that the thriving lover actually spoke to +himself in such language as that or that he confessed to himself that +Clara Amedroz was an evil to him rather than a blessing. But his +feelings were already so far tending in that direction, that he was +by no means disposed to make any further promise, or to engage +himself in closer connexion with matrimony by the mention of any +special day. Clara, finding that her companion would not talk without +encouragement from her, had to begin again, and asked all those +natural questions about his family, his brother, his sister, his home +habits, and the old house in Yorkshire, the answers to which must be +so full of interest to her. But even on these subjects he was dry, +and in-disposed to answer with the full copiousness of free +communication which she desired. And at last there came a question +and an answer a word or two on one side, and then a word or two on +the other, from which Clara got a wound which was very sore to her. + +'I have always pictured to myself,' she said 'your mother as a woman +who has been very handsome.' + +'She is still a handsome woman, though she is over sixty.' + +'Tall, I suppose?' + +'Yes, tall, and with something of of what shall I say dignity, about +her.' + +'She is not grand, I hope?' + +'I don't know what you call grand.' + +'Not grand in a bad sense I'm sure she is not that. But there are +some ladies who seem to stand so high above the level of ordinary +females as to make us who are ordinary quite afraid of them.' + +'My mother is certainly not ordinary,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'And I am,' said Clara, laughing. 'I wonder what she'll say to me or, +rather, what she will think of me.' Then there was a moment's +silence, after which Clara, still laughing, went on. 'I see, Fred, +that you have not a word of encouragement to give me about your +mother.' + +'She is rather particular,' said Captain Aylmer. + +Then Clara drew herself up, and ceased to laugh. She had called +herself ordinary with that half-insincere depreciation of self which +is common to all of us when we speak of our own attributes, but which +we by no means intend that they who hear us shall accept as strictly +true, or shall re-echo as their own approved opinions. But in this +instance Captain Aylmer, though he had not quite done that, had done +almost as bad. + +'Then I suppose I had better keep out of her way,' said Clara, by no +means laughing as she spoke. + +'Of course when we are married you must go and see her.' + +'You do not, at any rate, promise me a very agreeable visit, Fred. +But I dare say I shall survive it. After all, it is you that I am to +marry, and not your mother; and as long as you are not majestic to +me, I need not care for her majesty.' + +'I don't know what you mean by majesty.' + +'You must confess that you speak of her as of something very +terrible.' + +'I say that she is particular and so she is. And as my respect for +her opinion is equal to my affection for her person, I hope that you +will make a great effort to gain her esteem.' + +'I never make any efforts of that kind. If esteem doesn't come +without efforts it isn't worth having.' + +'There I disagree with you altogether but I especially disagree with +you as you are speaking about my mother, and about a lady who is to +become your own mother-in-law. I trust that you will make such +efforts, and that you will make them successfully. Lady Aylmer is not +a woman who will give you her heart at once, simply because you have +become her son's wife. She will judge you by your own qualities and +will not scruple to condemn you should she see cause.' + +Then there was a longer silence, and Clara's heart was almost in +rebellion even on this, the first day of her engagement. But she +quelled her high spirit, and said no further word about Lady Aylmer. +Nor did she speak again till she had enabled herself to smile as she +spoke. + +'Well, Fred,' she said, putting her hand upon his arm, 'I'll do my +best, and woman can do no more. And now I'll say good-night, for I +must pack for tomorrow's journey before I go to bed.' Then he kissed +her with a cold, chilling kiss and she left him for the night. + + + +CHAPTER XII + +MISS AMEDROZ RETURNS HOME + +Clara was to start by a train leaving Perivale at eight on the +following morning, and therefore there was not much time for +conversation before she went. During the night she had endeavoured so +to school herself as to banish from her breast all feelings of anger +against her lover, and of regret as regarded herself. Probably, as +she told herself, she had made more of what he had said than he had +intended that she should do; and then, was it not natural that he +should think much of his mother, and feel anxious as to the way in +which she might receive his wife. As to that feeling of anger on her +own part, she did get quit of it; but the regret was not to be so +easily removed. It was not only what Captain Aylmer had said about +his mother that clung to her, doing much to quench her joy; but there +had been a coldness in his tone to her throughout the evening which +she recognized almost unconsciously, and which made her heart heavy +in spite of the joy which she repeatedly told herself ought to be her +own. And she also felt though she was not clearly aware that she did +so that his manner towards her had become less affectionate, less +like that of a lover, since the honest tale she had told him of her +own early love for him. She should have been less honest, and more +discreet; less bold, and more like in her words to the ordinary run +of women. She had known this as she was packing last night, and she +told herself that it was so as she was dressing on this her last +morning at Perivale. That frankness of hers had not been successful, +and she regretted that she had not imposed on herself some little +reticence or even a little of that coy pretence of indifference which +is so often used by ladies when they are wooed. She had been boldly +honest, and had found her honesty to be bad policy. She thought, at +least, that she had found its policy to be bad. Whether in truth it +may not have been very good have been the best policy in the world +tending to give her the first true intimation which she had ever yet +received of the real character of the man who was now so much to her +that is altogether another question. + +But it was clearly her duty to make the best of her present +circumstances, and she went down-stairs with a smiling face and with +pleasant words on her tongue. When she entered the breakfast-room +Captain Aylmer was there; but Martha was there also, and her pleasant +words were received indifferently in the presence of the servant. +When the old woman was gone, Captain Aylmer assumed a grave face, and +began a serious little speech which he had prepared. But he broke +down in the utterance of it, and was saying things very different +from what he had intended before he had completed it. + +'Clara,' he began, 'what occurred between us yesterday is a source of +great satisfaction to me.' + +'I am glad of that, Frederick,' said she, trying to be a little less +serious than her lover. + +'Of very great satisfaction,' he continued; 'and I cannot but think +that we were justified by the circumstances of our position in +forgetting for a time the sad solemnity of the occasion. When I +remember that it was but the day before yesterday that I followed my +dear old aunt to the grave, I am astonished to think that yesterday I +should have made an offer of marriage.' + +What could be the good of his talking in this strain? Clara, too, had +had her own misgivings on the same subject little qualms of +conscience that had come to her as she remembered her old friend in +the silent watches of the night; but such thoughts were for the +silent watches, and not for open expression in the broad daylight. +But he had paused, and she must say something. + +'One's excuse to oneself is this that she would have wished it so.' + +'Exactly. She would have wished it. Indeed she did wish it, and +therefore--' He paused in what he was saying, and felt himself to be +on difficult ground. Her eye was full upon him, and she waited for a +moment or two as though expecting that he would finish his words. But +as he did not go on, she finished them for him. + +'And therefore you sacrificed your own feelings.' Her heart was +becoming sore, and she was unable to restrain the utterance of her +sarcasm. + +'Just so,' said he; 'or, rather, not exactly that. I don't mean that +I am sacrificed; for, of course, as I have just now said, nothing as +regards myself can be more satisfactory. But yesterday should have +been a solemn day to us; and as it was not--' + +'I thought it very solemn.' + +'What I mean is that I find an excuse in remembering that I was doing +what she asked me to do.' + +'What she asked you to do, Fred?' + +'What I had promised, I mean.' + +'What you had promised? I did not hear that before.' These last words +were spoken in a very low voice, but they went direct to Captain +Aylmer's ears. + +'But you have heard me declare,' he said, 'that as regards myself +nothing could be more satisfactory.' + +'Fred,' she said, 'listen to me for a moment. You and I engaged +ourselves to each other yesterday as man and wife.' + +'Of course we did.' + +'Listen to me, dear Fred. In doing that there was nothing in my mind +unbefitting the sadness of the day. Even in death we must think of +life, and if it were well for you and me that we should be together +it would surely have been but a foolish ceremony between us to have +abstained from telling each other that it would be so because my aunt +had died last week. But it may be, and I think it is the case, that +the feelings arising from her death have made us both too +precipitate.' + +'I don't understand how that can be.' + +'You have been anxious to keep a promise made to her, without +considering sufficiently whether in doing so you would secure your +own happiness; and I--' + +'I don't know about you, but as regards myself I must be considered +to be the best judge.' + +'And I have been too much in a hurry in believing that which I wished +to believe.' + +'What do you mean by all this, Clara?' + +'I mean that our engagement shall be at an end; not necessarily so +for always. But that as an engagement binding us both, it shall for +the present cease to exist. You shall be again free--' + +'But I don't choose to be free.' + +'When you think of it you will find it best that it should be so. You +have performed your promise honestly, even though at a sacrifice to +yourself. Luckily for you for both of us, I should say the full truth +has come out; and we can consider quietly what will be best for us to +do, independently of that promise. We will part, therefore, as dear +friends but not as engaged to each other as man and wife.' + +'But we are engaged, and I will not hear of its being broken.' + +'A lady's word, Fred, is always the most potential before marriage; +and you must therefore yield to me in this matter. I am sure your +judgment will approve of my decision when you think of it. There +shall be no engagement between us. I shall consider myself quite free +free to do as I please altogether; and you, of course, will be free +also.' + +'If you please, of course it must be so.' + +'I do please, Fred.' + +'And yesterday, then, is to go for nothing.' + +'Not exactly. It cannot go for nothing with me. I told you too many +of my secrets for that. But nothing that was done or said yesterday +is to be held as binding upon either of us.' + +'And you made up your mind to that last night?' + +'It is at any rate made up to that now. Come I shall have to go +without my breakfast if I do not eat it at once. Will you have your +tea now, or wait and take it comfortably when I am gone?' + +Captain Aylmer breakfasted with her, and took her to the station, and +saw her off with all possible courtesy and attention, and then he +walked back by himself to his own great house in Perivale. Not a word +more had been said between him and Clara as to their engagement, and +he recognized it as a fact that he was no longer bound to her as her +future husband. Indeed, he had no power of not recognizing the fact, +so decided had been her language, and so imperious her manner It had +been of no avail that he had said that the engagement should stand. +She had told him that her voice was to be the more potential, and he +had felt that it was so. Well might it not be best for him that it +should be so? He had kept his promise to his aunt, and had done all +that lay in his power to make Clara Amedroz his wife. If she chose to +rebel against her own good fortune simply because he spoke to her a +few words which seemed to him to be fitting, might it not be well for +him to take her at her word? + +Such were his first thoughts; but as the day wore on with him, +something more generous in his nature came to his aid, and something +also that was akin to real love. Now that she was no longer his own, +he again felt a desire to have her. Now that there would be again +something to be done in winning her, he was again stirred by a man's +desire to do that something. He ought not to have told her of the +promise. He was aware that what he had said on that point had been +dropped by him accidentally, and that Clara's resolution after that +had not been unnatural. He would, therefore, give her another chance, +and resolved before he went to bed that night that he would allow a +fortnight to pass away, and would then write to her, renewing his +offer with all the strongest declarations of affection which he would +be enabled to make. + +Clara on her way home was not well satisfied with herself or with her +position. She had had great joy, during the few hours of joy which +had been hers, in thinking of the comfort which her news would give +to her father. He would be released from all further trouble on her +account by the tidings which she would convey to him by the tidings +which she had intended to convey to him. But now the story which she +would have to tell would by no means be comfortable. She would have +to explain to him that her aunt had left no provision for her, and +that would be the beginning and the end of her story. As for those +conversations about the fifteen hundred pounds of them she would say +nothing. When she reflected on what had taken place between herself +and Captain Aylmer she was more resolved than ever that she would not +touch any portion of that money or of any money that should come from +him. Nor would she tell her father anything of the marriage +engagement which had been made on one day and unmade on the next. Why +should she add to his distress by showing him what good things might +have been hers had she only had the wit to keep them? No; she would +tell her father simply of the will, and then comfort him in his +affliction as best she might. + +As regarded her position with Captain Aylmer, the more she thought of +it the more sure she became that everything was over in that quarter. +She had, indeed, told him that such need not necessarily be the +case,--but this she had done in her desire at the moment to mitigate the +apparent authoritativeness of her own decision, rather than with any +idea of leaving the matter open for further consideration. She was +sure that Captain Aylmer would be glad of a means of escape, and that +he would not again place himself in the jeopardy which the promise +exacted from him by his aunt had made so nearly fatal to him. And for +herself, though she still loved the man,--so loved him that she lay +back in the corner of her carriage weeping behind her veil as she +thought of what she had lost,--still she would not take him, though he +should again press his suit upon her with all the ardour at his +command. No, indeed. No man should ever be made to regard her as a +burden imposed upon him by an extorted promise! What;--let a man +sacrifice himself to a sense of duty on her behalf! And then she +repeated the odious words to herself, till she came to think that it +had fallen from his lips and not from her own. + +In writing to her father from Perivale, she had merely told him of +Mrs Winterfield's death and of her own intended return. At the +Taunton station she met the well-known old fly and the well-known old +driver, and was taken home in the accustomed manner. As she drew +nearer to Belton the sense of her distress became stronger and +stronger, till at last she almost feared to meet her father. What +could she say to him when he should repeat to her, as he would be +sure to do, his lamentation as to her future poverty? + +On arriving at the house she learned that he was upstairs in his +bedroom. He had been ill, the servant said, and though he was not now +in bed, he had not come down-stairs. So she ran up to his room, and +finding him seated in an old arm-chair by the fire-side, knelt down +at his feet, as she took his hand and asked him as to his health. + +'What has Mrs Winterfield done for you in her will?' These were the +first words he spoke to her. + +'Never mind about wills now, papa. I want you to tell me of +yourself.' + +'Nonsense, Clara. Answer my question.' + +'Oh, papa, I wish you would not think so much about money for me.' + +'Not think about it? Why am I not to think about it? What else have I +got to think of? Tell me at once, Clara, what she has done. You ought +to have written to me directly the will was made known.' + +There was no help for her, and the terrible word must be spoken. 'She +has left her property to Captain Aylmer, papa; and I must say that I +think she is right.' + +'You do not mean everything?' + +'She has provided for her servants.' + +'And has made no provision for you?' + +'No, papa.' + +'Do you mean to tell me that she has left you nothing, absolutely +nothing?' The old man's manner was altogether altered as he asked the +question; and there came over his face so unusual a look of energy,--of +the energy of anger,--that Clara was frightened, and knew not how to +answer him with that tone of authority which she was accustomed to +use when she found it necessary to exercise control over him. 'Do you +mean to say that there is nothing,--nothing?' And as he repeated the +question he pushed her away from his knees and stood up with an +effort, leaning against the back of his chair. + +'Dear papa, do not let this distress you.' + +'But is it so? Is there in truth nothing?' + +'Nothing, papa. Remember that she was not really my aunt.' + +'Nonsense, child! nonsense! How can you talk such trash to me as +that? And then you tell me not to distress myself! I am to know that +you will be a beggar in a year or two probably in a few months and +that is not to distress me! She has been a wicked woman!' + +'Oh, papa, do not say that.' + +'A wicked woman. A very wicked woman. It is always so with those who +pretend to be more religious than their neighbours. She has been a +very wicked woman, alluring you into her house with false hopes.' + +'No, papa no; I must contradict you. She had given me no grounds for +such hope.' + +'I say she had even though she may not have made a promise. I say she +had. Did not everybody think that you were to have her money?' + +'I don't know what people may have thought. Nobody has had any right +to think about it at all.' + +'That is nonsense, Clara. You know that I expected it that you +expected it yourself.' + +'No no, no!' + +'Clara how can you tell me that?' + +'Papa, I knew that she intended to leave me nothing. She told me so +when I was there in the spring.' + +'She told you so?' + +'Yes, papa. She told me that Frederic Aylmer was to have all her +property. She explained to me everything that she meant to do, and I +thought that she was right.' + +'And why was not I told when you came home?' + +'Dear papa!' + +'Dear papa, indeed. What is the meaning of dear papa? Why have I been +deceived?' + +'What good could I do by telling you? You could not change it.' + +'You have been very undutiful; and as for her, her wickedness and +cruelty shock me shock me. They do, indeed. That she should have +known your position, and had you with her always and then have made +such a will as that! Quite heartless! She must have been quite +heartless.' + +Clara now began to find that she must in justice to her aunt's memory +tell her father something more. And yet it would be very difficult to +tell him anything that would not bring greater affliction upon him, +and would not also lead her into deeper trouble. Should it come to +pass that her aunt's intention with reference to the fifteen hundred +pounds was mentioned, she would be subjected to an endless +persecution as to the duty of accepting that money from Captain +Aylmer. But her present feelings would have made her much prefer to +beg her bread upon the roads than accept her late lover's generosity. +And then again, how could she explain to her father Mrs Winterfield's +mistake about her own position without seeming to accuse her father +of having robbed her? But nevertheless she must say something, as Mr +Amedroz continued to apply that epithet of heartless to Mrs +Winterfield, going on with it in a low droning tone, that was more +injurious to Clara's ears than the first full energy of his anger. + +'Heartless quite heartless shockingly heartless shockingly +heartless!' + +'The truth is, papa,' Clara said at last, 'that when my aunt told me +about her will, she did not know but what I had some adequate +provision from my own family.' + +'Oh, Clara!' + +'That is the truth, papa for she explained the whole thing to me. I +could not tell her that she was mistaken, and thus ask for her +money.' + +'But she knew everything about that poor wretched boy.' And now the +father dropped back into his chair, and buried his face in his hands. + +When he did this Clara again knelt at his feet. She felt that she had +been cruel, and that she had defended her aunt at the cost of her own +father. She had, as it were, thrown in his teeth his own imprudence, +and twitted him with the injuries which he had done to her. 'Papa,' +she said, 'dear papa, do not think about it at all. What is the use? +After all, money is not everything. I care nothing for money. If you +will only agree to banish the subject altogether, we shall be so +comfortable.' + +'How is it to be banished?' + +'At any rate we need not speak of it. Why should we talk on a subject +which is simply uncomfortable, and which we cannot mend?' + +'Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!' And now he swayed himself backwards and +forwards in his chair, bewailing his own condition and hers, and his +past imprudence, while the tears ran down his checks. She still knelt +there at his feet, looking up into his face with loving, beseeching +eyes, praying him to be comforted, and declaring that all would still +be well if he would only forget the subject, or, at any rate, cease +to speak of it. But still he went on wailing, complaining of his lot +as a child complains, and refusing all consolation. 'Yes; I know,' +said he, 'it has all been my fault. But how could I help it? What was +I to do?' + +'Papa, nobody has said that anything was your fault; nobody has +thought so.' + +'I never spent anything on myself--never, never; and yet,--and +yet,--and yet--!' + +'Look at it with more courage, papa. After all, what harm will it be +if I should have to go out and earn my own bread like any other young +woman? I am not afraid.' + +At last he wept himself into an apathetic tranquillity, as though he +had at present no further power for any of the energy of grief; and +she left him while she went about the house and learned how things +had gone on during her absence. It seemed, from the tidings which the +servant gave her, that he had been ill almost since she had been +gone. He had, at any rate, chosen to take his meals in his own room, +and as far as was remembered, had not once left the house since she +had been away. He had on two or three occasions spoken of Mr Belton, +appearing to be anxious for his coming, and asking questions as to +the cattle and the work that was still going on about the place; and +Clara, when she returned to his room, tried to interest him again +about her cousin. But he had in truth been too much distressed by the +ill news as to Mrs Winterfield's will to be able to rally himself, +and the evening that was spent up in his room was very comfortless to +both of them. Clara had her own sorrows to bear as well as her +father's, and could take no pleasant look out into the world of her +own circumstances. She had gained her lover merely to lose him and +had lost him under circumstances that were very painful to her +woman's feeling. Though he had been for one night betrothed to her as +her husband, he had never loved her. He had asked her to be his wife +simply in fulfilment of a death-bed promise! The more she thought of +it the more bitter did the idea of it become to her. And she could +not also but think of her cousin. Poor Will! He, at any rate, had +loved her, though his eagerness in love had been, as she told +herself, but short-lived. As she thought of him, it seemed but the +other day that he had been with her up on the rock in the park but as +she thought of Captain Aylmer, to whom she had become engaged only +yesterday, and from whom she had separated herself only that morning, +she felt that an eternity of time had passed since she had parted +from him. + +On the following day, a dull, dark, melancholy day, towards the end +of November, she went out to saunter about the park, leaving her +father still in his bedroom, and after a while made her way down to +the cottage. She found Mrs Askerton as usual alone in the little +drawing-room, sitting near the window with a book in her hand; but +Clara knew at once that her friend had not been reading that she had +been sitting there looking out upon the clouds, with her mind fixed +upon things far away. The general cheerfulness of this woman had +often been cause of wonder to Clara, who knew how many of her hours +were passed in solitude; but there did occasionally come upon her +periods of melancholy in which she was unable to act up to the +settled rule of her life, and in which she would confess that the +days and weeks and months were too long for her. + +'So you are back,' said Mrs Askerton, as soon as the first greeting +was over. + +'Yes; I am back.' + +'I supposed you would not stay there long after the funeral.' + +'No; what good could I do?' + +'And Captain Aylmer is still there, I suppose?' + +'I left him at Perivale.' + +There was a slight pause, as Mrs Askerton hesitated before she asked +her next question. 'May I be told anything about the will?' she said. + +'The weary will! If you knew how I hated the subject you would not +ask me. But you must not think I hate it because it has given me +nothing.' + +'Given you nothing?' + +'Nothing! But that does not make me hate it. It is the nature of the +subject that is so odious. I have now told you all everything that +there is to be told, though we were to talk for a week. If you are +generous you will not say another word about it.' + +'But I am so sorry.' + +'There that's it. You won't perceive that the expression of such +sorrow is a personal injury to me. I don't want you to be sorry.' + +'How am I to help it?' + +'You need not express it. I don't come pitying you for supposed +troubles. You have plenty of money; but if you were so poor that you +could eat nothing but cold mutton, I shouldn't condole with you as to +the state of your larder. I should pretend to think that poultry and +piecrust were plentiful with you.' + +'No, you wouldn't, dear not if I were as dear to you as you are to +me.' + +'Well, then, be sorry; and let there be an end of it. Remember how +much of all this I must of necessity have to go through with poor +papa.' + +'Ah, yes; I can believe that.' + +'And he is so far from well. Of course you have not seen him since I +have been gone.' + +'No; we never see him unless he comes up to the gate there.' Then +there was another pause for a moment. And what about Captain Aylmer?' +asked Mrs Askerton. + +'Well what about him?' + +'He is the heir now?' + +'Yes he is the heir.' + +'And that is all?' + +'Yes; that is all. What more should there be? The poor old house at +Perivale will be shut up, I suppose.' + +'I don't care about the old house much, as it is not to be your +house.' + +'No it is not to be my house certainly.' + +'There were two ways in which it might have become yours.' + +'Though there were ten ways, none of those ways have come my way,' +said Clara. + +'Of course I know that you are so close that though there were +anything to tell you would not tell it.' + +'I think I would tell you anything that was proper to be told; but +now there is nothing proper or improper.' + +'Was it proper or improper when Mr Belton made an offer to you as I +knew he would do of course; as I told you that he would? Was that so +improper that it could not be told?' + +Clara was aware that the tell-tale colour in her face at once took +from her the possibility of even pretending that the allegation was +untrue, and that in any answer she might give she must acknowledge +the fact. 'I do not think,' she said, 'that it is considered fair to +gentlemen to tell such stories as that.' + +'Then I can only say that the young ladies I have known are generally +very unfair.' + +'But who told you?' + +'Who told me? My maid. Of course she got it from yours. Those things +are always known.' + +'Poor Will!' + +'Poor Will, indeed. He is coming here again, I hear, almost +immediately, and it needn't be "poor Will" unless you like it. But as +for me, I am not going to be an advocate in his favour. I tell you +fairly that I did not like what little I saw of poor Will.' + +'I like him of all things.' + +'You should teach him to be a little more courteous in his demeanour +to ladies; that is all. I will tell you something else, too, about +poor Will but not now. Some other day I will tell you something of +your Cousin Will.' + +Clara did not care to ask any questions as to this something that was +to be told, and therefore took her leave and went away. + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +MR WILLIAM BELTON TAKES A WALK IN THE COUNTRY + +Clara Amedroz had made one great mistake about her cousin, Will +Belton, when she came to the conclusion that she might accept his +proffered friendship without any apprehension that the friend would +become a lover; and she made another, equally great, when she +convinced herself that his love had been as short-lived as it had +been eager. Throughout his journey back to Plaistow, he had thought +of nothing else but his love, and had resolved to persevere, telling +himself sometimes that he might perhaps be successful, and feeling +sure at other times that he would encounter renewed sorrow and +permanent disappointment but equally resolved in either mood that he +would persevere. Not to persevere in pursuit of any desired object +let the object be what it might was, to his thinking, unmanly, weak, +and destructive of self-respect. He would sometimes say of himself, +joking with other men, that if he did not succeed in this or that +thing, he could never speak to himself again. To no man did he talk +of his love in such a strain as this; but there was a woman to whom +he spoke of it; and though he could not joke on such a matter, the +purport of what he said showed the same feeling. To be finally +rejected, and to put up with such rejection, would make him almost +contemptible in his own eyes. + +This woman was his sister, Mary Belton. Something has been already +said of this lady, which the reader may perhaps remember. She was a +year or two older than her brother, with whom she always lived, but +she had none of those properties of youth which belonged to him in +such abundance. She was, indeed, a poor cripple, unable to walk +beyond the limits of her own garden, feeble in health, dwarfed in +stature, robbed of all the ordinary enjoyments of life by physical +deficiencies, which made even the task of living a burden to her. To +eat was a pain, or at best a trouble. Sleep would not comfort her in +bed, and weariness during the day made it necessary that the hours +passed in bed should be very long. She was one of those whose lot in +life drives us to marvel at the inequalities of human destiny, and to +inquire curiously within ourselves whether future compensation is to +be given. + +It is said of those who are small and crooked-backed in their bodies, +that their minds are equally cross-grained and their tempers as +ungainly as their stature. But no one had ever said this of Mary +Belton. Her friends, indeed, were very few in number; but those who +knew her well loved her as they knew her, and there were three or +four persons in the world who were ready at all times to swear that +she was faultless. It was the great happiness of her life that among +those three or four her own brother was the foremost. Will Belton's +love for his sister amounted almost to veneration, and his devotion +to her was so great, that in all the affairs of his life he was +prepared to make her comfort one of his first considerations. And +she, knowing this, had come to fear that she might be an embargo on +his prosperity, and a stumbling-block in the way of his success. It +had occurred to her that he would have married earlier in life if she +had not been, as it were, in his way; and she had threatened him +playfully,--for she could be playful,--that she would leave him if he +did not soon bring a mistress to Plaistow Hall. 'I will go to uncle +Robert,' she had said. Now uncle Robert was the clergyman in +Lincolnshire of whom mention has been made, and he was among those +two or three who believed in Mary Belton with an implicit faith,--as +was also his wife. 'I will go to uncle Robert, Will, and then you +will be driven to get a wife.' + +'If my sister ever leaves my house, whether there be a wife in it or +not,' Will had answered, 'I will never put trust in any woman again.' + +Plaistow Manor-house or Hall was a fine brick mansion, built in the +latter days of Tudor house architecture, with many gables and +countless high chimneys very picturesque to the eye, but not in all +respects comfortable as are the modern houses of the well-to-do +squirearchy of England. And, indeed, it was subject to certain +objectionable characteristics which in some degree justified the +scorn which Mr Amedroz intended to throw upon it when he declared it +to be a farm-house. The gardens belonging to it were large and +excellent; but they did not surround it, and allowed the farm +appurtenances to come close up to it on two sides. The door which +should have been the front door, opening from the largest room in the +house, which had been the hall and which was now the kitchen, led +directly into the farm-yard. From the farther end of this farm-yard a +magnificent avenue of elms stretched across the home pasture down to +a hedge which crossed it at the bottom. That there had been a road +through the rows of trees or, in other words, that there had in truth +been an avenue to the house on that side was, of course, certain. But +now there was no vestige of such road, and the front entrance to +Plaistow Hall was by a little path across the garden from a modern +road which had been made to run cruelly near to the house. Such was +Plaistow Hall, and such was its mistress. Of the master, the reader, +I hope, already knows so much as to need no further description. + +As Belton drove himself home from the railway station late on that +August night, he made up his mind that he would tell his sister all +his story about Clara Amedroz. She had ever wished that he should +marry, and now he had made his attempt. Little as had been her +opportunity of learning the ways of men and women from experience in +society, she had always seemed to him to know exactly what every one +should do in every position of life. And she would be tender with +him, giving him comfort even if she could not give him hope. Moreover +Mary might be trusted with his secret; for Belton felt, as men always +do feel, a great repugnance to have it supposed that his suit to a +woman had been rejected. Women, when they have loved in vain, often +almost wish that their misfortune should be known. They love to +talk about their wounds mystically,--telling their own tales under +feigned names, and extracting something of a bitter sweetness out of +the sadness of their own romance. But a man, when he has been +rejected,--rejected with a finality that is acknowledged by +himself,--is unwilling to speak or hear a word upon the subject, and +would willingly wash the episode out from his heart if it were +possible. + +But not on that his first night would he begin to speak of Clara +Amedroz. He would not let his sister believe that his heart was too +full of the subject to allow of his thinking of other matters. Mary +was still up, waiting for him when he arrived, with tea, and cream, +and fruit ready for him. 'Oh, Mary!' he said, 'why are you not in +bed? You know that I would have come to you upstairs.' She excused +herself, smiling, declaring that she could not deny herself the +pleasure of being with him for half an hour on his first return from +his travels. 'Of course I want to know what they are like,' she said. + +'He is a nice-looking old man,' said Will 'and she is a nice-looking +young woman.' + +'That is graphic and short, at any rate.' + +'And he is weak and silly, but she is strong and--and--and--' + +'Not silly also, I hope?' + +'Anything but that. I should say she is very clever.' + +'I'm afraid you don't like her, Will.' + +'Yes, I do.' + +'Really?' + +'Yes; really.' + +'And did she take your coming well?' + +'Very well. I think she is much obliged to me for going.' + +'And Mr Amedroz?' + +'He liked my coming too very much.' + +'What after that cold letter? + +'Yes, indeed. I shall explain it all by degrees. I have taken a lease +of all the land, and I'm to go back at Christmas; and as to the old +gentleman he'd have me live there altogether if I would.' + +'Why, Will?' + +'Is it not odd? I'm so glad I didn't make up my mind not to go when I +got that letter. And yet I don't know.' These last words he added +slowly, and in a low voice, and Mary at once knew that everything was +not quite as it ought to be. + +'Is there anything wrong, Will?' + +'No, nothing wrong; that is to say, there is nothing to make me +regret that I went. I think I did some good to them.' + +'It was to do good to them that you went there.' + +'They wanted to have some one near them who could be to them as one +of their own family. He is too old too much worn out to be capable of +managing things; and the people there were, of course, robbing him. I +think I have put a stop to that.' + +'And you are to go again at Christmas?' + +'Yes; they can do without me at my uncle's, and you will be there. I +have taken the land, and already bought some of the stock for it, and +am going to buy more.' + +'I hope you won't lose money, Will.' + +'No not ultimately, that is. I shall get the place in good condition, +and I shall have paid myself when he goes, in that way, if in no +other. Besides, what's a little money? I owe it to them for robbing +her of her inheritance.' + +'You do not rob her, Will.' + +'It is hard upon her, though.' + +'Does she feel it hard?' + +'Whatever may be her feelings on such a matter, she is a woman much +too proud to show them.' + +'I wish I knew whether you liked her or not.' + +'I do like her I love her better than any one in the world; better +even than you, Mary; for I have asked her to be my wife.' + +'Oh, Will!' + +'And she has refused me. Now you know the whole of it the whole +history of what I have done while I have been away.' And he stood up +before her, with his thumbs thrust into the arm-holes of his +waistcoat, with something serious and almost solemn in his gait, in +spite of a smile which played about his mouth. + +'Oh, Will!' + +'I meant to have told you, of course, Mary to have told you +everything; but I did not mean to tell it to-night; only it has +somehow fallen from me. Out of the full heart the mouth speaks, they +say.' + +'I never can like her if she refuses your love.' + +'Why not? That is unlike you, Mary. Why should she be bound to love +me because I love her?' + +'Is there any one else, Will?' + +'How can I tell? I did not ask her. I would not have asked her for +the world, though I would have given the world to know.' + +'And she is so very beautiful?' + +'Beautiful! It isn't that so much though she is beautiful. But but I +can't tell you why but she is the only girl that I ever saw who would +suit me for a wife. Oh, dear!' + +'My own Will!' + +'But I'm not going to keep you up all night, Mary. And I'll tell you +something else; I'm not going to break my heart for love. Arid I'll +tell you something else again; I'm not going to give it up yet. I +believe I've been a fool. Indeed, I know I've been a fool. I went +about it just as if I were buying a horse, and had told the seller +that that was my price he might take it or leave it. What right had I +to suppose that any girl was to be had in that way; much less such a +girl as Clara Amedroz?' + +'It would have been a great match for her.' + +'I'm not so sure of that, Mary. Her education has been different from +mine, and it may well be that she should marry above me. But I swear +I will not speak another word to you to-night. Tomorrow, if you're +well enough, I'll talk to you all day.' Soon after that he did get +her to go up to her room, though, of course, he broke that oath of +his as to not speaking another word. After that he walked out by +moonlight round the house, wandering about the garden and farm-yard, +and down through the avenue, having in his own mind some pretence of +the watchfulness of ownership, but thinking little of his property +and much of his love. Here was a thing that he desired with all his +heart, but it seemed to be out of his reach absolutely out of his +reach. He was sick and weary with a feeling of longing sick with that +covetousness wherewith Ahab coveted the vineyard of Naboth. What was +the world to him if he could not have this thing on which he had set +his heart? He had told his sister that he would not break his heart; +and so much, he did not doubt, would be true. A man or woman with a +broken heart was in his estimation a man or woman who should die of +love; and he did not look for such a fate as that. But he experienced +the palpable misery of a craving emptiness within his breast, and did +believe of himself that he never could again be in comfort unless he +could succeed with Clara Amedroz. He stood leaning against one of the +trees, striking his hands together, and angry with himself at the +weakness which had reduced him to such a state. What could any man be +worth who was so little master of himself as he had now become? + +After awhile he made his way back through the farm-yard, and in at +the kitchen door, which he locked and bolted; and then, throwing +himself down into a wooden armchair which always stood there, in the +corner of the huge hearth, he took a short pipe from the mantelpiece, +filled it with tobacco, and lighting it almost unconsciously, began +to smoke with vehemence. + +Plaistow Hall was already odious to him, and he longed to be back at +Belton, which he had left only that morning. Yes, on that very +morning she had brought to him his coffee, looking sweetly into his +face so sweetly as she ministered to him. And he might then well have +said one word more in pleading his suit, if he had not been too +awkward to know what that word should be. And was it not his own +awkwardness that had brought him to this state of misery? What right +had he to suppose that any girl should fall in love with such a one +as he at first sight without a moment's notice to her own heart? And +then, when he had her there, almost in his arms, why had he let her +go without kissing her? It seemed to him now that if he might have +once kissed her, even that would have been a comfort to him in his +present affliction. 'D----tion!' he said at last, as he jumped to his +feet and kicked the chair on one side, and threw the pipe among the +ashes. I trust it will be understood that he addressed himself, and +not his lady-love, in this uncivil way 'D----tion!' Then when the chair +had been well kicked out of his way, he took himself up to bed. I +wonder whether Clara's heart would have been hardened or softened +towards him had she heard the oath, and understood all the thoughts +and motives which had produced it. + +On the next morning poor Mary Belton was too ill to come down-stairs; +and as her brother spent his whole day out upon the farm, remaining +among reapers and wheat stacks till nine o'clock in the evening, +nothing was said about Clara on that day. Then there came a Sunday, +and it was a matter of course that the subject of which they both +were thinking should be discussed. Will went to church, and, as was +their custom on Sundays, they dined immediately on his return. Then, +as the afternoon was very warm, he took her out to a favourite seat +she had in the garden, and it became impossible that they could +longer abstain. + +'And you really mean to go again at Christmas?' she asked. + +'Certainly I shall I promised.' + +'Then I am sure you will.' + +'And I must go from time to time because of the land I have taken. +Indeed there seems to be an understanding that I am to manage the +property for Mr Amedroz.' + +'And does she wish you to go?' + +'Yes she says so.' + +'Girls, I believe, think sometimes that men are indifferent in their +love. They suppose that a man can forget it at once when he is not +accepted, and that things can go on just as before.' + +'I suppose she thinks so of me,' said Belton wofully. + +'She must either think that, or else be willing to give herself the +chance of learning to like you better.' + +'There's nothing of that, I'm sure. She's as true as steel.' + +'But she would hardly want you to go there unless she thought you +might overcome either your love or her indifference. She would not +wish you to be there that you might be miserable.' + +'Before I had asked her to be my wife I had promised to be her +brother. And so I will, if she should ever want a brother. I am not +going to desert her because she will not do what I want her to do, or +be what I want her to be. She understands that. There is to be no +quarrel between us.' + +'But she would be heartless if she were to encourage you to be with +her simply for the assistance you may give her, knowing at the same +time that you could not be happy in her presence.' + +'She is not heartless.' + +'Then she must suppose that you are.' + +'I dare say she doesn't think that I care much about it. When I told +her, I did it all of a heap, you see; and I fancy she thought I was +just mad at the time.' + +'And did you speak about it again?' + +'No; not a word. I shouldn't wonder if she hadn't forgotten it before +I went away.' + +'That would be impossible.' + +'You wouldn't say so if you knew how it was done. It was all over in +half an hour; and she had given me such an answer that I thought I +had no right to say anything more about it. The morning when I left +her she did seem to be kinder.' + +'I wish I knew whether she cares for any one else.' + +'Ah! I so often think of that. But I couldn't ask her, you know. I +had no right to pry into her secrets. When I came away, she got up to +see me off; and I almost felt tempted to carry her into the gig and +drive her off.' + +'I don't think that would have done, Will.' + +'I don't suppose anything will do. We all know what happens to the +child who cries for the top brick of the chimney. The child has to do +without it. The child goes to bed and forgets it; but I go to bed +and can't forget it.' + +'My poor Will!' + +Then he got up and shook himself, and stalked about the garden always +keeping within a few yards of his sister's chair and carried on a +strong battle within his breast, struggling to get the better of the +weakness which his love produced, though resolved that the love +itself should be maintained. + +'I wish it wasn't Sunday,' he said at last, 'because then I could go +and do something. If I thought that no one would see me, I'd fill a +dung-cart or two, even though it is Sunday. I'll tell you what I'll +go and take a walk as far as Denvir Sluice; and I'll be back to tea. +You won't mind?' + +'Denvir Sluice is eight miles off.' + +'Exactly I'll be there and back in something over three hours.' + +'But, Will there's a broiling sun.' + +'It will do me good. Anything that will take something out of me is +what I want. I know I ought to stay and read to you; but I couldn't +do it. I've got the fidgets inside, if you know what that means. To +have the big hay-rick on fire, or something of that sort, is what +would do me most good.' + +Then he started, and did walk to Denvir Sluice and back in three +hours. The road from Plaistow Hall to Denvir Sluice was not in itself +interesting. It ran through a perfectly flat country, without a tree. +For the greater part of the way it was constructed on the top of a +great bank by the side of a broad dike, and for five miles its course +was straight as a line. A country walk less picturesque could hardly +be found in England. The road, too, was very dusty, and the sun was +hot above Belton's head as he walked. But nevertheless, he +persevered, going on till he struck his stick against the waterfall +which was called Denvir Sluice, and then returned not once slackening +his pace, and doing the whole distance at a rate somewhat above five +miles an hour. They used to say in the nursery that cold pudding is +good to settle a man's love; but the receipt which Belton tried was a +walk of sixteen miles, along a dusty road, after dinner, in the +middle of an August day. + +I think it did him some good. When he got back he took a long draught +of home-brewed beer, and then went up stairs to dress himself. + +'What a state you are in,' Mary said to him when he showed himself +for a moment in the sitting-room. + +'I did it from milestone to milestone in eleven minutes, backwards +and forwards, all along the five-mile reach.' + +Then Mary knew from his answer that the exercise had been of service +to him, perceiving that he had been able to take an interest in his +own prowess as a walker. + +'I only hope you won't have a fever,' she said. + +'The people who stand still are they who get fevers,' he answered. +'Hard work never does harm to any one. If John Bowden would walk his +five miles an hour on a Sunday afternoon he wouldn't have the gout so +often.' + +John Bowden was a neighbour in the next parish, and Mary was +delighted to find that her brother could take a pride in his +performance. + +By degrees Miss Belton began to know with some accuracy the way in +which Will had managed his affairs at Belton Castle, and was enabled +to give him salutary advice. + +'You see, Will,' she said, 'ladies are different from men in this, +that they cannot allow themselves to be in love so suddenly.' + +'I don't see how a person is to help it. It isn't like jumping into a +river, which a person can do or not, just as he pleases.' + +'But I fancy it is something like jumping into a river, and that a +person can help it. What the person can't help is being in when the +plunge has once been made.' + +'No, by George! There's no getting out of that river.' + +'And ladies don't take the plunge till they've had time to think what +may come after it. Perhaps you were a little too sudden with our +Cousin Clara?' + +'Of course I was. Of course I was a fool, and a brute too.' + +'I know you were not a brute, and I don't think you were a fool; but +yet you were too sudden. You see a lady cannot always make up her +mind to love a man, merely because she is asked all in a moment. She +should have a little time to think about it before she is called upon +for an answer.' + +'And I didn't give her two minutes.' + +'You never do give two minutes to anyone do you, Will? But you'll be +back there at Christmas, and then she will have had time to turn it +over in her mind.' + +'And you think that I may have a chance?' + +'Certainly you may have a chance.' + +'Although she was so sure about it?' + +'She spoke of her own mind and her own heart as she knew them then. +But it depends chiefly on this, Will whether there is any one else. +For anything we know, she may be engaged now.' + +'Of course she may.' Then Belton speculated on the extreme +probability of such a contingency; arguing within his own heart that +of course every unmarried man who might see Clara would want to marry +her, and that there could not but be some one whom even she would be +able to love. + +When he had been home about a fortnight, there came a letter to him +from Clara, which was a great treasure to him. In truth, it simply +told him of the completion of the cattle-shed, of her father's +health, and of the milk which the little cow gave; but she signed +herself his affectionate cousin, and the letter was very gratifying +to him. There were two lines of a postscript, which could not but +flatter him: 'Papa is so anxious for Christmas, that you may be here +again and so, indeed, am I also.' Of course it will be understood +that this was written before Clara's visit to Perivale, and before +Mrs Winterfield's death. Indeed, much happened in Clara's history +between the writing of that letter and Will Belton's winter visit to +the Castle. + +But Christmas came at last, all too slowly for Will and he started on +his journey. On this occasion he arranged to stay a week in London, +having a lawyer there whom he desired to see; and thinking, perhaps, +that a short time spent among the theatres might assist him in his +love troubles. + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +MR WILLIAM BELTON TAKES A WALK IN LONDON + +At the time of my story there was a certain Mr Green, a worthy +attorney, who held chambers in Stone Buildings, Lincoln's Inn, much +to the profit of himself and family and to the profit and comfort +also of a numerous body of clients a man much respected in the +neighbourhood of Chancery Lane, and beloved, I do not doubt, in the +neighbourhood of Bushey, in which delightfully rural parish he was +possessed of a genteel villa and ornamental garden. With Mr Green's +private residence we shall, I believe, have no further concern; but +to him at his chambers in Stone Buildings I must now introduce the +reader of these memoirs. He was a man not yet forty years of age, +with still much of the salt of youth about him, a pleasant companion +as well as a good lawyer, and one who knew men and things in London, +as it is given to pleasant clever fellows, such as Joseph Green, to +know them. Now Mr Green and his father before him had been the legal +advisers of the Amedroz family, and our Mr Joseph Green had had but a +bad time of it with Charles Amedroz in the last years of that +unfortunate young man's life. But lawyers endure these troubles, +submitting themselves to the extravagances, embarrassments, and even +villainy of the bad subjects among their clients' families, with a +good-humoured patience that is truly wonderful. That, however, was +all over now as regarded Mr Green and the Amedrozes, and he had +nothing further to do but to save for the father what relics of the +property he might secure. And he was also legal adviser to our friend +Will Belton, there having been some old family connexion among them, +and had often endeavoured to impress upon his old client at Belton +Castle his own strong conviction that the heir was a generous fellow, +who might be trusted in everything. But this had been taken amiss by +the old squire, who, indeed, was too much disposed to take all things +amiss and to suspect everybody. 'I understand,' he had said to his +daughter. 'I know all about it. Belton and Mr Green have been dear +friends always. I can't trust my own lawyer any longer.' In all which +the old squire showed much ingratitude. It will, however, be +understood that these suspicions were rife before the time of +Belton's visit to the family estate. + +Some four or five days before Christmas there came a visitor to Mr +Green with whom the reader is acquainted, and who was no less a man +than the Member for Perivale. Captain Aylmer, when Clara parted from +him on the morning of her return to Belton Castle, had resolved that +he would repeat his offer of marriage by letter. A month had passed +by since then, and he had not as yet repeated it. But his intention +was not altered. He was a deliberate man, who did not do such things +quite as quickly as his rival, and who upon this occasion had thought +it prudent to turn over more than once in his mind all that he +proposed to do. Nor had he as yet taken any definite steps as to that +fifteen hundred pounds which he had promised to Clara in her aunt's +name, and which Clara had been, and was, so unwilling to receive. He +had now actually paid it over, having purchased government stock in +Clara's name for the amount, and had called upon Mr Green, in order +that that gentleman, as Clara's lawyer, might make the necessary +communication to her. + +'I suppose there's nothing further to be done?' asked Captain Aylmer. + +'Nothing further by me,' said the lawyer. 'Of course I shall write to +her, and explain that she must make arrangements as to the interest. +I am very glad that her aunt thought of her in her last moments.' + +'Mrs Winterfield would have provided for her before, had she known +that everything had been swallowed up by that unfortunate young man.' + +'All's well that ends well. Fifteen hundred pounds are better than +nothing.' + +'Is it not enough?' said the captain, blushing. + +'It isn't for me to have an opinion about that, Captain Aylmer. It +depends on the nature of her claim; and that again depends on the +relative position of the aunt and niece when they were alive +together.' + +'You are aware that Miss Amedroz was not Mrs Winterfield's niece?' + +'Do not think for a moment that I am criticizing the amount of the +legacy. I am very glad of it, as, without it, there was literally no +provision,--no provision at all.' + +'You will write to herself?' + +'Oh yes, certainly to herself. She is a better man of business than +her father and then this is her own, to do as she likes with it.' + +'She can't refuse it, I suppose?' + +'Refuse it!' + +'Even though she did not wish to take it, it would be legally her +property, just as though it had been really left by the will?' + +'Well; I don't know. I dare say you could have resisted the payment. +But that has been made now, and there seems to be an end of it.' + +At this moment a clerk entered the room and handed a card to his +employer. 'Here's the heir himself,' said Mr Green. + +'What heir? + +'Will Belton the heir of the property which Mr Amedroz holds.' +Captain Aylmer had soon explained that he was not personally +acquainted with Mr William Belton; but, having heard much about him, +declared himself anxious to make the acquaintance. Our friend Will, +therefore, was ushered into the room, and the two rivals for Clara's +favour were introduced to each other. Each had heard much of the +other, and each had heard of the other from the same person. But +Captain Aylmer knew much more as to Belton than Belton knew in +respect to him. Aylmer knew that Belton had proposed to Clara and had +been rejected; and he knew also that Belton was now again going down +to Somersetshire. + +'You are to spend your Christmas, I believe, with our friends at +Belton Castle?' said the captain. + +'Yes and am now on my way there. I believe you know them also +intimately.' Then there was some explanation as to the Winterfield +connexion, a few remarks as to the precarious state of the old +squire's health, a message or two from Captain Aylmer, which of +course were of no importance, and the captain took his leave. + +Then Green and Belton became very comfortably intimate in their +conversation, calling each other Will and Joe for they were old and +close friends. And they discussed matters in that cozy tone of +confidential intercourse which is so directly at variance with the +tones used by men when they ordinarily talk of business. 'He has +brought me good news for your friend, Miss Amedroz,' said the lawyer. + +'What good news?' + +'That aunt of hers left her fifteen hundred pounds, after all. Or +rather, she did not leave it, but desired on her death-bed that it +might be given.' + +'That's the same thing, I suppose?' + +'Oh quite that is to say, it's the same thing if the person who has +to hand over the money does not dispute the legacy. But it shows how +the old lady's conscience pricked her at last. And after all it was a +shabby sum, and should have been three times as much.' + +'Fifteen hundred pounds! And that is all she will have when her +father dies?' + +'Every farthing, Will. You'll take all the rest.' + +'I wish she wasn't going to have that.' + +'Why? Why on earth should you of all men grudge her such a moderate +maintenance, seeing that you have not got to pay it?' + +'It isn't a maintenance. How could it be a maintenance for such as +her? What sort of maintenance would it be?' + +'Much better than nothing. And so you would feel if she were your +daughter.' + +'She shall be my daughter, or my sister, or whatever you like to call +her. You don't think that I'll take the whole estate and leave her to +starve on the interest of fifteen hundred pounds a year!' + +'You'd better make her your wife at once, Will.' + +Will Belton blushed as he answered, 'That, perhaps, would be easier +said than done. That is not in my power even if I should wish it. But +the other is in my power.' + +'Will, take my advice, and don't make any romantic promises when you +are down at Belton. You'll be sure to regret them if you do. And you +should remember that in truth Miss Amedroz has no greater claim on +you than any other lady in the land.' + +'Isn't she my cousin?' + +'Well yes. She is your cousin, but a distant one only; and I'm not +aware that cousinship gives any claim.' + +'Who is she to have a claim on? I'm the nearest she has got. Besides, +am not I going to take all the property which ought to be hers?' + +'That's just it. There's no such ought in the case. The property is +as much your own as this poker is mine. That's exactly the mistake I +want you to guard against. If you liked her, and chose to marry her, +that would be all very well; presuming that you don't want to get +money in marriage.' + +'I hate the idea of marrying for money.' + +'All right. Then marry Miss Amedroz if you please. But don't make any +rash undertakings to be her father, or her brother, or her uncle, or +her aunt. Such romance always leads a man into trouble.' + +'But I've done it already.' + +'What do you mean?' + +'I've told her that I would be her brother, and that as long as I had +a shilling she should never want sixpence. And I mean it. And as for +what you say about romance and repenting it, that simply comes from +your being a lawyer.' + +'Thank ye, Will.' + +'If one goes to a chemist, of course one gets physic, and has to put +up with the bad smells.' + +'Thank you again.' + +'But the chemist may be a very good sort of fellow at home all the +same, and have a cupboard full of sweetmeats and a garden full of +flowers. However, the thing is done as far as I am concerned, and I +can almost find it in my heart to be sorry that Clara has got this +driblet of money. Fifteen hundred pounds! It would keep her out of +the workhouse, and that is about all.' + +'If you knew how many ladies in her position would think that the +heavens had rained wealth upon them if some one would give them +fifteen hundred pounds!' + +'Very well. At any rate I won't take it away from her. And now I want +you to tell me something else. Do you remember a fellow we used to +know named Berdmore?' + +'Philip Berdmore?' + +'He may have been Philip, or Daniel, or Jeremiah, for anything I +know. But the man I mean was very much given to taking his liquor +freely.' + +'That was Jack Berdmore, Philip's brother. Oh yes, I remember him. +He's dead now. He drank himself to death at last, out in India.' + +'He was in the army?' + +'Yes and what a pleasant fellow he was at times! I see Phil +constantly, and Phil's wife, but they never speak of Jack.' + +'He got married, didn't he, after we used to see him?' + +Oh yes he and Phil married sisters. It was a sad affair, that.' + +'I remember being with him and her and the sister too, after they +were engaged, and he got so drunk that we were obliged to take him +away. There was a large party of us at Richmond, but I don't think +you were there.' + +'But I heard of it' + +'And she was a Miss Vigo?' + +'Exactly. I see the younger sister constantly. Phil isn't very rich, +and he's got a lot of children but he's very happy.' + +'What became of the other sister? + +'Of Jack's wife?' + +'Yes. What became of her?' + +'I haven't an idea. Something bad, I suppose, as they never speak of +her.' + +'And how long is he dead?' + +'He died about three years since. I only knew it from Phil's telling +me that he was in mourning for him. Then he did speak of him for a +moment or two, and I came to know that he had carried on to the end +in the same way. If a fellow takes to drink in this country, he'll +never get cured in India.' + +'I suppose not.' + +'Never.' + +'And now I want to find out something about his widow.' + +'And why?' + +'Ah I'm not sure that I can tell you why. Indeed I'm sure that I +cannot. But still you might be able to assist me.' + +'There were heaps of people who used to know the Vigos,' said the +lawyer. + +'No end of people though I couldn't for the life of me say who any of +them were.' + +'They used to come out in London with an aunt, but nobody knew much +about her. I fancy they had neither father nor mother.' + +'They were very pretty.' + +'And how well they danced. I don't think I ever knew a girl who +danced so pleasantly giving herself no airs, you know as Mary Vigo.' + +'Her name was Mary,' said Belton, remembering that Mrs Askerton's +name was also Mary. + +'Jack Berdmore married Mary.' + +'Well now, Joe, you must find out for me what became of her. Was she +with her husband when he died?' + +'Nobody was with him. Phil told me so. No one, that is, but a young +lieutenant and his own servant. It was very sad. He had D.T., and all +that sort of thing.' + +'And where was she?' + +'At Jericho, for anything that I know.' + +'Will you find out?' Then Mr Joseph Green thought for a moment of his +capabilities in that line, and having made an engagement to dine with +his friend at his club on the evening before Will left London, said +at last that he thought he could find out through certain mutual +friends who had known the Berdmores in the old days. 'But the fact +is,' said the lawyer, 'that the world is so good-natured instead of +being ill-natured, as people say that it always forgets those who +want to be forgotten.' + +We must now go back for a few moments to Captain Aylmer and his +affairs. Having given a full month to the consideration of his +position as regarded Miss Amedroz, he made up his mind to two things. +In the first place, he would at once pay over to her the money which +was to be hers as her aunt's legacy, and then he would renew his +offer. To that latter determination he was guided by mixed motives by +motives which, when joined together, rarely fail to be operative. His +conscience told him that he ought to do so and then the fact of her +having, as it were, taken herself away from him, made him again wish +to possess her. And there was another cause which, perhaps, operated +in the same direction. He had consulted his mother, and she had +strongly advised him to have nothing further to do with Miss Amedroz. +Lady Aylmer abused her dead sister heartily for having interfered in +the matter, and endeavoured to prove to her son that he was released +from his promise by having in fact performed it. But on this point +his conscience interfered backed by his wishes and he made his +resolve as has been above stated. On leaving Mr Green's chambers he +went to his own lodgings, and wrote his letter as follows: + + +'Mount Street, December, 186--. + +'Dearest Clara, + +'When you parted from me at Perivale you said certain things about our +engagement which I have come to understand better since then, than I +did at the time. It escaped from me that my dear aunt and I had had +some conversation about you, and that I had told her what was my +intention. Something was said about a promise, and I think it was +that word which made you unhappy. At such a time as that when I and +my aunt were talking together, and when she was, as she well knew, on +her deathbed, things will be said which would not be thought of in +other circumstances. I can only assure you now, that the promise I +gave her was a promise to do that which I had previously resolved +upon doing. If you can believe what I say on this head, that ought to +be sufficient to remove the feeling which induced you to break our +engagement. + +'I now write to renew my offer to you, and to assure you that I do so +with my whole heart. You will forgive me if I tell you that I cannot +fail to remember, and always to bear in my mind, the sweet assurances +which you gave me of your regard for myself. As I do not know that +anything has occurred to alter your opinion of me, I write this +letter in strong hope that it may be successful. I believe that your +fear was in respect to my affection for you, not as to yours for me. +If this was so, I can assure you that there is no necessity for such +fear. + +'I need not tell you that I shall expect your answer with great +anxiety. + +'Yours most affectionately, + +'F. F. AYLMER. + +'P.S. I have today caused to be bought in your name Bank Stock to the +amount of fifteen hundred pounds, the amount of the legacy coming to +you from my aunt.' + + +This letter, and that from Mr Green respecting the money, both +reached Clara on the same morning. Now, having learned so much as to +the position of affairs at Belton Castle, we may return to Will and +his dinner engagement with Mr Joseph Green. + +'And what have you heard about Mrs Berdmore?' Belton asked, almost as +soon as the two men were together. + +'I wish I knew why you want to know.' + +'I don't want to do anybody any harm.' + +'Do you want to do anybody any good?' + +'Any good! I can't say that I want to do any particular good. The +truth is, I think I know where she is, and that she is living under a +false name.' + +'Then you know more of her than I do.' + +'I don't know anything. I'm only in doubt. But as the lady I mean +lives near to friends of mine, I should like to know.' + +'That you may expose her?' + +'No by no means. But I hate the idea of deceit. The truth is, that +any one living anywhere under a false name should be exposed or +should be made to assume their right name.' + +'I find that Mrs Berdmore left her husband some years before he died. +There was nothing in that to create wonder, for he was a man with +whom a woman could hardly continue to live. But I fear she left him +under protection that was injurious to her character. + +'And how long ago is that?' + +'I do not know. Some years before his death.' + +'And how long ago did he die?' + +'About three years since. My informant tells me that he believes she +has since married. Now you know all that I know.' And Belton also +knew that Mrs Askerton of the cottage was the Miss Vigo with whom he +had been acquainted in earlier years. + +After that they dined comfortably, and nothing passed between them +which need be recorded as essential to our story till the time came +for them to part. Then, when they were both standing at the club +door, the lawyer said a word or two which is essential. 'So you're +off tomorrow?' said he. + +'Yes; I shall go down by the express.' + +'I wish you a pleasant journey. By the by, I ought to tell you that +you won't have any trouble in being either father or mother, or uncle +or aunt to Miss Amedroz.' + +'Why not?' + +'I suppose it's no secret.' + +'What's no secret? + +'She's going to be married to Captain Aylmer.' + +Then Will Belton started so violently, and assumed on a sudden so +manifest a look of anger, that his tale was at once told to Mr Green. +'Who says so?' he asked. 'I don't believe it.' + +'I'm afraid it's true all the same, Will.' + +'Who says it?' + +'Captain Aylmer was with me today, and he told me. He ought to be +good authority on such a subject.' + +'He told you that he was going to marry Clara Amedroz?' + +'Yes, indeed.' + +'And what made him come to you, to tell you?' + +'There was a question about some money which he had paid to her, and +which, under existing circumstances, he thought it as well that he +should not pay. Matters of that kind are often necessarily told to +lawyers. But I should not have told it to you, Will, if I had not +thought that it was good news.' + +'It is not good news,' said Belton moodily. + +'At any rate, old fellow, my telling it will do no harm. You must +have learned it soon.' And he put his hand kindly almost tenderly, on +the other's arm. But Belton moved himself away angrily. The wound had +been so lately inflicted that he could not as yet forgive the hand +that had seemed to strike him. + +'I'm sorry that it should be so bad with you, Will.' + +'What do you mean by bad? It is not bad with me. It is very well with +me. Keep your pity for those who want it.' Then he walked off by +himself across the broad street before the club door, leaving his +friend without a word of farewell, and made his way up into St. +James's Square, choosing, as was evident to Mr Green, the first +street that would take him out of sight. + +'He's hit, and hit hard,' said the lawyer, looking after him. 'Poor +fellow! I might have guessed it from what he said. I never knew of +his caring for any woman before.' Then Mr Green put on his gloves and +went away home. + +We will now follow Will Belton into St. James's Square, and we shall +follow a very unhappy gentleman. Doubtless he had hitherto known and +appreciated the fact that Miss Amedroz had refused his offer, and had +often declared, both to himself and to his sister, his conviction +that that refusal would never be reversed. But, in spite of that +expressed conviction, he had lived on hope. Till she belonged to +another man she might yet be his. He might win her at last by +perseverance. At any rate he had it in his power to work towards the +desired end, and might find solace even in that working. And the +misery of his loss would not be so great to him as he found himself +forced to confess to himself before he had completed his wanderings +on this night in not having her for his own, as it would be in +knowing that she had given herself to another man. He had often told +himself that of course she would become the wife of some man, but he +had never yet realized to himself what it would be to know that she +was the wife of any one specified rival. He had been sad enough on +that moonlight night in the avenue at Plaistow when he had leaned +against the tree, striking his hands together as he thought of his +great want; but his unhappiness then had been as nothing to his agony +now. Now it was all over and he knew the man who had supplanted him. + +How he hated him! With what an unchristian spirit did he regard that +worthy captain as he walked across St. James's Square, across Jermyn +Street, across Piccadilly, and up Bond Street, not knowing whither he +was going. He thought with an intense regret of the laws of modern +society which forbid duelling forgetting altogether that even had the +old law prevailed, the conduct of the man whom he so hated would have +afforded him no casus belli. But he was too far gone in misery and +animosity to be capable of any reason on the matter. Captain Aylmer +had interfered with his dearest wishes, and during this now passing +hour he would willingly have crucified Captain Aylmer had it been +within his power to do so. Till he had gone beyond Oxford Street, and +had wandered away into the far distance of Portman Square and Baker +Street, he had not begun to think of any interest which Clara Amedroz +might have in the matter on which his thoughts were employed. He was +sojourning at an hotel in Bond Street, and had gone thitherwards more +by habit than by thought; but he had passed the door of his inn, +feeling it to be impossible to render himself up to his bed in his +present disturbed mood. As he was passing the house in Bond Street he +had been intent on the destruction of Captain Aylmer and had almost +determined that if Captain Aylmer could not be made to vanish into +eternity, he must make up his mind to go that road himself. + +It was out of the question that he should go down to Belton. As to +that he had come to a very decided opinion by the time that he had +crossed Oxford Street. Go down to see her, when she had treated him +after this fashion I No, indeed. She wanted no brother now. She had +chosen to trust herself to this other man, and he, Will Belton, would +not interfere further in her affairs. Then he drew upon his +imagination for a picture of the future, in which he portrayed +Captain Aylmer as a ruined man, who would probably desert his wife, +and make himself generally odious to all his acquaintance a picture +as to the realization of which I am bound to say that Captain +Aylmer's antecedents gave no probability. But it was the looking at +this self-drawn picture which first softened the artist's heart +towards the victim whom he had immolated on his imaginary canvas. +When Clara should be ruined by the baseness and villainy and general +scampishness of this man whom she was going to marry to whom she was +about to be weak enough and fool enough to trust herself then he +would interpose and be her brother once again a broken-hearted +brother no doubt, but a brother efficacious to keep the wolf from the +door of this poor woman and her children. Then, as he thus created +Captain Aylmer's embryo family of unprovided orphans for after a +while he killed the captain, making him to die some death that was +very disgraceful, but not very distinct even to his own imagination +as he thought of those coming pledges of a love which was to him so +bitter, he stormed about the streets, performing antics of which no +one would have believed him capable who had known him as the thriving +Mr William Belton, of Plaistow Hall, among the fens of Norfolk. + +But the character of a man is not to be judged from the pictures +which he may draw or from the antics which he may play in his +solitary hours. Those who act generally with the most consummate +wisdom in the affairs of the world, often meditate very silly doings +before their wiser resolutions form themselves. I beg, therefore, +that Mr Belton may be regarded and criticized in accordance with his +conduct on the following morning when his midnight rambles, which +finally took him even beyond the New Road, had been followed by a few +tranquil hours in his Bond Street bedroom for at last he did bring +himself to return thither and put himself to bed after the usual +fashion. He put himself to bed in a spirit somewhat tranquillized by +the exercise of the night, and at last wept himself to sleep like a +baby. + +But he was by no means like a baby when he took him early on the +following morning to the Paddington Station, and booked himself +manfully for Taunton. He had had time to recognize the fact that he +had no ground of quarrel with his cousin because she had preferred +another man to him. This had happened to him as he was recrossing the +New Road about two o'clock, and was beginning to find that his legs +were weary under him. And, indeed, he had recognized one or two +things before he had gone to sleep with his tears dripping on to his +pillow. In the first place, he had ill-treated Joe Green, and had +made a fool of himself in his friend's presence. As Joe Green was a +sensible, kind-hearted fellow, this did not much signify;--but not on +that account did he omit to tell himself of his own fault. Then he +discovered that it would ill become him to break his word to Mr +Amedroz and to his daughter, and to do so without a word of excuse, +because Clara had exercised a right which was indisputably her own. +He had undertaken certain work at Belton which required his presence, +and he would go down and do his work as though nothing had occurred +to disturb him. To remain away because of this misfortune would be to +show the white feather. It would be unmanly. All this he recognized +as the pictures he had painted faded away from their canvases. As to +Captain Aylmer himself, he hoped that he might never be called upon +to meet him. He still hoped that, even as he was resolutely cramming +his shirts into his portmanteau before he began his journey. His +Cousin Clara he thought he could meet, and tender to her some +expression of good wishes as to her future life, without giving way +under the effort. And to the old squire he could endeavour to make +himself pleasant, speaking of the relief from all trouble which this +marriage with Captain Aylmer would afford for now, in his cooler +moments, he could perceive that Captain Aylmer was not a man apt to +ruin himself, or his wife and children. But to Captain Aylmer +himself, he could not bring himself to say pleasant things or to +express pleasant wishes. She who was to be Captain Aylmer's wife, who +loved him, would of course have told him what had occurred up among +the rocks in Belton Park; and if that was so, any meeting between +Will and Captain Aylmer would be death to the former. + +Thinking of all this he journeyed down to Taunton, and thinking of +all this he made his way from Taunton across to Belton Park. + + + +CHAPTER XV + +EVIL WORDS + +Clara Amedroz had received her two letters together that, namely, +from the attorney, and that from Captain Aylmer and the result of +those letters is already known. She accepted her lover's renewed +offer of marriage, acknowledging the force of his logic, and putting +faith in the strength of his assurances. This she did without seeking +advice from any one. Who was there from whom she could seek advice on +such a matter as that who, at least, was there at Belton? That her +father would, as a matter of course, bid her accept Captain Aylmer, +was, she thought, certain; and she knew well that Mrs Askerton would +do the same. She asked no counsel from any one, but taking the two +letters up to her own room, sat down to consider them. That which +referred to her aunt's money, together with the postscript in Captain +Aylmer's letter on the same subject, would be of the least possible +moment if she could bring herself to give a favourable answer to the +other proposition. But should she not be able to do this should she +hesitate as to doing so at once then she must write to the lawyer in +very strong terms, refusing altogether to have anything to do with +the money. And in such a case as this, not a word could she say to +her father either on one subject or on the other. + +But why should she not accept the offer made to her? Captain Aylmer +declared that he had determined to ask her to be his wife before he +had made any promise to Mrs Winterfield. If this were in truth so, +then the very ground on which she had separated herself from him +would be removed. Why should she hesitate in acknowledging to herself +that she loved the man and believed him to be true? So she sat +herself down and answered both the letters writing to the lawyer +first. To him she said that nothing need be done about the money or +the interest till he should see or hear from Captain Aylmer again. +Then to Captain Aylmer she wrote very shortly, but very openly with +the same ill-judged candour which her spoken words to him had +displayed. Of course she would be his; his without hesitation, now +that she knew that he expressed his own wishes, and not merely those +of his aunt. 'As to the money,' she said, 'it would be simply +nonsense now for us to have any talk of money. It is yours in any +way, and you had better manage about it as you please. I have written +an ambiguous letter to Mr Green, which will simply plague him, and +which you may go and see if you like.' Then she added her postscript, +in which she said that she should now at once tell her father, as the +news would remove from his mind all solicitude as to her future +position. That Captain Aylmer did go to Mr Green we already know, and +we know also that he told Mr Green of his intended marriage. + +Nothing was said by Captain Aylmer as to any proposed period for +their marriage; but that was only natural. It was not probable that +any man would name a day till he knew whether or not he was accepted. +Indeed, Clara, on thinking over the whole affair, was now disposed to +find fault rather with herself than with her lover, and forgetting +his coldness and formality at Perivale, remembered only the fact of +his offer to her, and his assurance now received that he had intended +to make it before the scene which had taken place between him and his +aunt. She did find fault with herself, telling herself that she +had quarrelled with him without sufficient cause and the eager +loving candour of her letter to him was attributable to those +self-accusations. + +'Papa,' she said, after the postman had gone away from Belton, so +that there might be no possibility of any recall of her letter, 'I +have something to tell you which I hope will give you pleasure.' + +'It isn't often that I hear anything of that kind,' said he. + +'But I think that this will give you pleasure. I do indeed. I am +going to be married.' + +'Going to what?' + +'Going to be married, papa. That is, if I have your leave. Of course +any offer of that kind that I have accepted is subject to your +approval.' + +'And I have been told nothing about it!' + +'It began at Perivale, and I could not tell you then. You do not ask +me who is to be my husband.' + +'It is not Will Belton?' + +'Poor Will! No; it is not Will. It is Frederic Aylmer. I think you +would prefer him as a son-in-law even to my Cousin Will.' + +'No I shouldn't. Why should I prefer a man whom I don't even know, +who lives in London, and who will take you away, so that I shall +never see you again?' + +'Dear papa;--don't speak of it in that way. I thought you would be glad +to know that I was to be so--so--so happy.' + +'But why is it to be done this way,--of a sudden? Why didn't he come to +me? Will came to me the very first thing.' + +'He couldn't come all the way to Belton very well particularly as he +does not know you.' + +'Will came here.' + +'Oh, papa, don't make difficulties. Of course that was different. He +was here when he first thought of it. And even then he didn't think +very much about it.' + +'He did all that he could, I suppose?' + +'Well yes. I don't know how that might be.' And Clara almost laughed +as she felt the difficulties into which she was creeping. 'Dear Will. +He is much better as a cousin than as a husband.' + +'I don't see that at all. Captain Aylmer will not have the Belton +estate or Plaistow Hall.' + +'Surely he is well enough off to take care of a wife. He will have +the whole of the Perivale estate, you know.' + +'I don't know anything about it. According to my ideas of what is +proper he should have spoken to me first. If he could not come he +might have written. No doubt my ideas may be old-fashioned, and I'm +told that Captain Aylmer is a fashionable young man.' + +'Indeed he is not, papa. He is a hard-working Member of Parliament.' + +'I don't know that he is any better for that. People seem to think +that if a man is a Member of Parliament he may do what he pleases. +There is Thompson, the Member for Minehead, who has bought some sort +of place out by the moors. I never saw so vulgar, pigheaded a fellow +in my life. Being in Parliament used to be something when I was +young, but it won't make a man a gentleman now-a-days. It seems to me +that none but brewers, and tallow-chandlers, and lawyers go into +Parliament now. Will Belton could go into Parliament if he pleased, +but he knows better than that. He won't make himself such a fool.' + +This was not comfortable to Clara; but she knew her father, and +allowed him to go on with his grumbling. He would come round by +degrees, and he would appreciate, if he could not be induced to +acknowledge, the wisdom of the step she was about to take. + +'When is it to be?' he asked. + +'Nothing of that kind has ever been mentioned, papa.' + +'It had better be soon, if I am to have anything to do with it.' Now +it was certainly the case that the old man was very ill. He had not +been out of the house since Clara had returned home; and, though he +was always grumbling about his food, he could hardly be induced to +eat anything when the morsels for which he expressed a wish were got +for him. + +'Of course you will be consulted, papa, before anything is settled.' + +'I don't want to be in anybody's way, my dear.' + +'And may I tell Frederic that you have given your consent? + +'What's the use of my consenting or not consenting? If you had been +anxious to oblige me you would have taken your Cousin Will.' + +'Oh, papa, how could I accept a man I didn't love?' + +'You seemed to me to be very fond of him at first; and I must say, I +thought he was ill-treated.' + +'Papa, papa; do not say such things as that to me!' + +'What am I to do? You tell me, and I can't altogether hold my +tongue.' Then there was a pause. 'Well, my dear, as for my consent, +of course you may have it if it's worth anything. I don't know that I +ever heard anything bad about Captain Aylmer.' + +He had heard nothing bad about Captain Aylmer! Clara, as she left her +father, felt that this was very grievous. Whatever cause she might +have had for discontent with her lover, she could not but be aware +that he was a man whom any father might be proud to welcome as a +suitor for his daughter. He was a man as to whom no ill tales had +ever been told who had never been known to do anything wrong or +imprudent; who had always been more than respectable, and as to whose +worldly position no exception could be taken. She had been entitled +to expect her father's warmest congratulations, and her tidings had +been received as though she had proposed to give her hand to one +whose character and position only just made it not imperative on the +father to withhold his consent! All this was hard, and feeling it to +be so, she went upstairs, all alone, and cried bitterly as she +thought of it. + +On the next day she went down to the cottage and saw Mrs Askerton. +She went there with the express purpose of telling her friend of her +engagement desirous of obtaining in that quarter the sympathy which +her father declined to give her. Had her communication to him been +accepted in a different spirit, she might probably have kept her +secret from Mrs Askerton till something further had been fixed about +her marriage; but she was in want of a few kind words, and pined for +some of that encouragement which ladies in love usually wish to +receive, at any rate from some one chosen friend. But when she found +herself alone with Mrs Askerton she hardly knew how to tell her news; +and at first could not tell it at all, as that lady was eager in +speaking on another subject. + +'When do you expect your cousin?' Mrs Askerton asked, almost as soon +as Clara was seated. + +'The day after tomorrow.' + +'And he is in London now?' + +'He may be. I dare say he is. But I don't know anything about it.' + +'I can tell you then that he is. Colonel Askerton has heard of his +being there.' + +'You seem to speak of it as though there were some offence in it. Is +there any reason why he should not be in London if he pleases?' + +'None in the least. I would much rather that he should be there than +here.' + +'Why so? Will his coming hurt you?' + +'I don't like him. I don't like him at all and now you know the +truth. You believe in him I don't. You think him to be a fine fellow +and a gentleman, whereas I don't think him to be either.' + +'Mrs Askerton!' + +'This is strong language, I know.' + +'Very strong language.' + +'Yes, my dear; but the truth is, Clara, that you and I, living +together here this sort of hermit's life, each seeing so much of the +other and seeing nothing of anybody else, must either be real +friends, telling each other what we think, or we must be nothing. We +can't go on with the ordinary make-believes of society, saying +little civil speeches and not going beyond them. Therefore I have +made up my mind to tell you in plain language that I don't like your +cousin, and don't believe in him.' + +'I don't know what you mean by believing in a man.' + +'I believe in you. Sometimes I have thought that you believe in me, +and sometimes I have feared that you do not. I think that you are +good, and honest, and true; and therefore I like to see your face and +hear your voice though it is not often that you say very pleasant +things to me.' + +'Do I say unpleasant things?' + +'I am not going to quarrel with you not if I can help it. What +business has Mr Belton to go about London making inquiries as to me? +What have I done to him, that he should honour me so far?' + +'Has he made inquiries?' + +'Yes; he has. If you have been contented with me as I am if you are +satisfied, why should he want to learn more? If you have any question +to ask me I will answer it. But what right can he have to be asking +questions among strangers?' + +Clara had no question to ask, and yet she could not say that she was +satisfied. She would have been better satisfied to have known more of +Mrs Askerton, but yet she had never condescended to make inquiries +about her friend. But her curiosity was now greatly raised; and, +indeed, Mrs Askerton's manner was so strange, her vehemence so +unusual, and her eagerness to rush into dangerous subjects so unlike +her usual tranquillity in conversation, that Clara did not know how +to answer her. + +'I know nothing of any questioning,' she said. + +'I am sure you don't. Had I thought you did, much as I love you +valuable as your society is to me down in this desert I would never +speak to you again. But remember if you want to ask any questions, +and will ask them of me of me I will answer them, and will not be +angry.' + +'But I don't want to ask any questions.' + +'You may some day; and then you can remember what I say.' + +'And am I to understand that you are determined to quarrel with my +Cousin Will?' + +'Quarrel with him! I don't suppose that I shall see him. After what I +have said it is not probable that you will bring him here, and the +servant will have orders to say that I am not at home if he should +call. Luckily he and Colonel Askerton did not meet when he was here +before.' + +'This is the most strange thing I ever heard in my life.' + +'You will understand it better, my dear, when he makes his +communication to you.' + +'What communication?' + +'You'll find that he'll have a communication to make. He has been so +diligent and so sharp that he'll have a great deal to tell, I do not +doubt. Only, remember, Clara, that if anything that he tells you +makes any difference in your feelings towards me, I shall expect you +to come to me and say so openly. If he makes his statement, let me +make mine. I have a right to ask for that, after what I have +promised.' + +'You may be sure that I will.' + +'I want nothing more. I have no distrust in you none in the least. I +tell you that I believe in you. If you will do that, and will keep Mr +William Belton out of my way during his visit to these parts, I shall +be satisfied.' For some time past Mrs Askerton had been walking about +the room, but, as she now finished speaking, she sat herself down as +though the subject was fully discussed and completed. For a minute or +two she made an effort to resume her usual tranquillity of manner, +and in doing so attempted to smile, as though ridiculing her own +energy. 'I knew I should make a fool of myself when you came,' she +said; and now I have done it.' + +'I don't think you have been a fool at all, but you may have been +mistaken.' + +'Very well, my dear, we shall see. It's very odd what a dislike I +took to that man the first time I saw him.' + +'And I am so fond of him!' + +'Yes; he has cozened you as he has your father. I am only glad that +he did not succeed in cozening you further than he did. But I ought +to have known you bettor than to suppose you could give your heart of +hearts to one who is--' + +'Do not abuse him any more.' + +'--Who is so very unlike the sort of people with whom you have lived. I +may, at any rate, say that.' + +'I don't know that. I haven't lived much with any one yet--except +papa, and my aunt, and you.' + +'But you know a gentleman when you see him.' + +'Come, Mrs Askerton, I will not stand this. I thought you had done +with the subject, and now you begin again. I had come here on purpose +to tell you something of real importance that is, to me; but I must +go away without telling you, unless you will give over abusing my +cousin.' + +'I will not say a word more about him not at present.' + +'I feel so sure that you are mistaken, you know.' + +'Very well;--and I feel sure that you are mistaken. We will leave it +so, and go to this matter of importance.' But Clara felt it to be +very difficult to tell her tidings after such a conversation as that +which had just occurred. When she had entered the room her mind had +been tuned to the subject, and she could have found fitting words +without much difficulty to herself; but now her thoughts had been +scattered and her feelings hurt, and she did not know how to bring +herself back to the subject of her engagement. She paused, therefore, +and sat with a doubtful, hesitating look, meditating some mode of +escape. 'I am all ears,' said Mrs Askerton; and Clara thought that +she discovered something of ridicule or of sarcasm in the tone of her +friend's voice. + +'I believe I'll put it off till another day,' she said. + +'Why so? You don't think that anything really important to you will +not be important to me also?' + +'I'm sure of that, but somehow--' + +'You mean to say that I have ruffled you?' + +'Well perhaps; a little.' + +'Then be unruffled again, like my own dear, honest Clara. I have been +ruffled too, but I'll be as tranquil now as a drawing-room cat.' Then +Mrs Askerton got up from her chair, and seated herself by Clara's +side on the sofa. 'Come; you can't go till you've told me; and if you +hesitate, I shall think that you mean to quarrel with me.' + +'I'll come to you tomorrow.' + +'No, no; you shall tell me today. All tomorrow you'll be preparing +for your cousin.' + +'What nonsense!' + +'Or else you'll come prepared to vindicate him, and then we shan't +get on any further. Tell me what it is today. You can't leave me in +curiosity after what you have said.' + +'You've heard of Captain Aylmer, I think.' + +'Of course I've heard of him.' + +'But you've never seen him?' + +'You know I never have.' + +'I told you that he was at Perivale when Mrs Winterfield died.' + +'And now he has proposed, and you are going to accept him? That will +indeed be important. Is it so?--say. But don't I know it is so? Why +don't you speak?' + +'If you know it, why need I speak?' + +'But it is so? Oh, Clara, I am so glad. I congratulate you with all +my heart with all my heart. My dearest, dearest Clara! What a happy +arrangement! What a success! It is just as it should be. Dear, good +man! to come forward in that sensible way, and put an end to all the +little family difficulties!' + +'I don't know so much about success. Who is it that is successful?' + +'You, to be sure.' + +'Then by the same measurement he must be unsuccessful.' + +'Don't be a fool, Clara.' + +'Of course I have been successful if I've got a man that I can love +as my husband.' + +'Now, my dear, don't be a fool. Of course all that is between you and +him, and I don't in the least doubt that it is all as it should be. +If Captain Aylmer had been the elder brother instead of the younger, +and had all the Aylmer estates instead of the Perivale property, I +know you would not accept him if you did not like him.' + +'I hope not.' + +'I am sure you would not. But when a girl with nothing a year has +managed to love a man with two or three thousand a year, and has +managed to be loved by him in return instead of going through the +same process with the curate or village doctor it is a success, and +her friend will always think so. And when a girl marries a gentleman, +and a Member of Parliament, instead of well, I'm not going to say +anything personal her friends will congratulate her upon his +position. It may be very wicked, and mercenary, and all that; but +it's the way of the world.' + +'I hate hearing about the world.' + +'Yes, my dear; all proper young ladies like you do hate it. But I +observe that such girls as you never offend its prejudices. You can't +but know that you would have done a wicked as well as a foolish thing +to marry a man without an adequate income.' + +'But I needn't marry at all.' + +'And what would you live on then? Come Clara, we needn't quarrel +about that. I've no doubt he's charming, and beautiful, and--' + +'He isn't beautiful at all; and as for charming--' + +'He has charmed you at any rate.' + +'He has made me believe that I can trust him without doubt, and love +him without fear.' + +'An excellent man! And the income will be an additional comfort; +you'll allow that?' + +'I'll allow nothing.' + +'And when is it to be?' + +'Oh,--perhaps in six or seven years.' + +'Clara!' + +'Perhaps sooner; but there's been no word said about time.' + +'Is not Mr Amedroz delighted?' + +'Not a bit. He quite scolded me when I told him.' + +'Why what did he want?' + +'You know papa.' + +'I know he scolds at everything, but I shouldn't have thought he +would have scolded at that. And when does he come here?' + +'Who come here?' + +'Captain Aylmer.' + +'I don't know that he is coming at all.' + +'He must come to be married.' + +'All that is in the clouds as yet. I did not like to tell you, but +you mustn't suppose that because I've told you, everything is +settled. Nothing is settled.' + +'Nothing except the one thing?' + +'Nothing else.' + +It was more than an hour after that before Clara went away, and when +she did so she was surprised to find that she was followed out of the +house by Colonel Askerton. It was quite dusk at this time, the days +being just at their shortest, and Colonel Askerton, according to his +custom, would have been riding, or returning from his ride. Clara had +been over two hours at the cottage, and had been aware when she +reached it that he had not as yet gone out. It appeared now that he +had not ridden at all, and, as she remembered to have seen his horse +led before the window, it at once occurred to her that he had +remained at home with the view of catching her as she went away. He +came up to her just as she was passing through the gate, and offered +her his right hand as he raised his hat with his left. It sometimes +happens to all of us in life that we become acquainted with persons +intimately that is, with an assumed intimacy whom in truth we do not +know at all. We meet such persons frequently, often eating and +drinking in their company, being familiar with their appearance, and +well-informed generally as to their concerns; but we never find +ourselves holding special conversations with them, or in any way +fitting the modes of our life to the modes of their life. Accident +has brought us together, and in one sense they are our friends. We +should probably do any little kindness for them, or expect the same +from them; but there is nothing in common between us, and there is +generally a mutual though unexpressed agreement that there shall be +nothing in common. Miss Amedroz was intimately acquainted with +Colonel Askerton after this fashion. She saw him very frequently, and +his name was often on her tongue; but she rarely, if ever, conversed +with him, and knew of his habits only from his wife's words +respecting them. When, therefore, he followed her through the garden +gate into the park, she was driven to suppose that he had something +special to say to her. + +'I'm afraid you'll have a dark walk, Miss Amedroz,' he said. + +'It's only just across the park, and I know the way so well.' + +'Yes of course. I saw you coming out, and as I want to say a word or +two, I have ventured to follow you. When Mr Belton was down here I +did not have the pleasure of meeting him.' + +'I remember that you missed each other.' + +'Yes, we did. I understand from my wife that he will be here again in +a day or two.' + +'He will be with us the day after tomorrow.' + +'I hope you will excuse my saying that it will be very desirable that +we should miss each other again.' Clara felt that her face became red +with anger as she listened to Colonel Askerton's words. He spoke +slowly, as was his custom, and without any of that violence of +expression which his wife had used; but on that very account there +was more, if possible, of meaning in his words than in hers. William +Belton was her cousin, and such a speech as that which Colonel +Askerton had made, spoken with deliberation and unaccompanied by any +previous explanation, seemed to her almost to amount to insult. But +as she did not know how to answer him at the spur of the moment, she +remained silent. Then he continued, 'You may be sure, Miss Amedroz, +that I should not make so strange a request to you if I had not good +reason for making it.' + +'I think it a very strange request.' + +'And nothing but a strong conviction of its propriety on my part +would have induced me to make it.' + +'If you do not want to see my cousin, why cannot you avoid him +without saying anything to me on the subject?' + +'Because you would not then have understood as thoroughly as I wish +you to do why I kept out of his way. For my wife's sake and for +yours, if you will allow me to say so I do not wish to come to any +open quarrel with him; but if we met, a quarrel would, I think, be +inevitable. Mary has probably explained to you the nature of his +offence against us?' + +'Mrs Askerton has told me something as to which I am quite sure that +she is mistaken.' + +'I will say nothing about that, as I have no wish at all to set you +against your cousin. I will bid you good-night now as you are close +at home.' Then he turned round and left her. + +Clara, as she thought of all this, could not but call to mind her +cousin's remembrances about Miss Vigo and Mr Berdmore. What if he +made some inquiry as to the correctness of his old recollections? +Nothing, she thought, could be more natural. And then she reflected +that, in the ordinary way of the world, persons feel none of that +violent objection to the asking of questions about their antecedents +which was now evinced by both Colonel and Mrs Askerton. But of one +thing she felt quite assured that her cousin, Will Belton, would make +no inquiry which he ought not to make; and would make no improper use +of any information which he might obtain. + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +THE HEIR'S SECOND VISIT TO BELTON + +Clara began to doubt whether any possible arrangement of the +circumstances of her life could be regarded as fortunate. She was +very fond, in a different degree and after a different fashion, of +both Captain Aylmer and Mr Belton. As regarded both, her position was +now exactly what she herself would have wished. The man that she +loved was betrothed to her, and the other man, whom she loved indeed +also as a brother, was coming to her in that guise,--with the +understanding that that was to be his position. And yet everything +was going wrong! Her father, though he did not actually say anything +against Captain Aylmer, showed by a hundred little signs, of which he +was a skilful master, that the Aylmer alliance was distasteful to +him, and that he thought himself to be aggrieved in that his daughter +would not marry her cousin; whereas, over at the cottage, there was a +still more bitter feeling against Mr Belton,--a feeling so bitter, that +it almost induced Clara to wish that her cousin was not coming to +them. + +But the cousin did come, and was driven up to the door in the gig +from Taunton, just as had been the case on his previous visit. Then, +however, he had come in the full daylight, and the hay-carts had been +about, and all the prettiness and warmth of summer had been there; +now it was mid-winter, and there had been some slight beginnings of +snow, and the wind was moaning about the old tower, and the outside +of the house looked very unpleasant from the hall-door. As it had +become dusk in the afternoon, the old squire had been very careful in +his orders as to preparations for Will's comfort,--as though Clara +would have forgotten all those things in the preoccupation of her +mind, caused by the constancy of her thoughts towards Will's rival. +He even went so far as to creep across the upstairs landing-place to +see that the fire was lighted in Will's room, this being the first +time that he had left his chamber for many days and had given special +orders as to the food which was to be prepared for Will's dinner in a +very different spirit from that which had dictated some former orders +when Will was about to make his first visit, and when his coming had +been regarded by the old man as a heartless, indelicate, and almost +hostile proceeding. + +'I wish I could go down to receive him,' said Mr Amedroz, +plaintively. 'I hope he won't take it amiss.' + +'You may be sure he won't do that.' + +'Perhaps I can tomorrow.' + +'Dear papa, you had better not think of it till the weather is +milder.' + +'Milder! how is it to get milder at this time of the year?' + +'Of course he'll come up to you, papa.' + +'He's very good. I know he's very good. No one also would do as +much.' + +Clara understood accurately what all this meant. Of course she was +glad that her father should feel so kindly towards her cousin, and +think so much of his coming; but every word said by the old man in +praise of Will Belton implied an equal amount of dispraise as +regarded Captain Aylmer, and contained a reproach against his +daughter for having refused the former and accepted the latter. + +Clara was in the hall when Belton arrived, and received him as he +entered, enveloped in his damp great-coats. 'It is so good of you to +come in such weather,' she said. + +'Nice seasonable weather, I call it,' he said. It was the same +comfortable, hearty, satisfactory voice which had done so much +towards making his way for him on his first arrival at Belton Castle +The voices to which Clara was most accustomed were querulous as +though the world had been found by the owners of them to be but a bad +place. But Belton's voice seemed to speak of cheery days and happy +friends, and a general state of things which made life worth having. +Nevertheless, forty-eight hours had not yet passed over his head +since he was walking about London in such misery that he had almost +cursed the hour in which he was born. His misery still remained with +him, as black now as it had been then; and yet his voice was cheery. +The sick birds, we are told, creep into holes, that they may die +alone and unnoticed; and the wounded beasts hide themselves that +their grief may not be seen of their fellows. A man has the same +instinct to conceal the weakness of his sufferings; but, if he be a +man, he hides it in his own heart, keeping it for solitude and the +watches of the night, while to the outer world he carries a face on +which his care has made no marks. + +'You will be sorry to hear that papa is too ill to come downstairs.' + +'Is he, indeed? I am truly sorry. I had heard he was ill; but did not +know he was so ill as that.' + +'Perhaps he fancies himself weaker than he is.' + +'We must try and cure him of that. I can see him, I hope?' + +'Oh dear, yes. He is most anxious for you to go to him. As soon as +ever you can come upstairs I will take you.' He had already stripped +himself of his wrappings, and declaring himself ready, at once +followed Clara to the squire's room. + +'I'm sorry, sir, to find you in this way,' he said. + +'I'm very poorly, Will very,' said the squire, putting out his hand +as though he were barely able to lift it above his knee. Now it +certainly was the fact that half an hour before he had been walking +across the passage. + +'We must see if we can't soon make you better among us,' said Will. + +The squire shook his head with a slow, melancholy movement, not +raising his eyes from the ground. 'I don't think you'll ever see me +much better, Will,' he said. And yet half an hour since he had been +talking of being down in the dining-room on the next day. 'I shan't +trouble you much longer,' said the squire. 'You'll soon have it all +without paying rent for it.' + +This was very unpleasant, and almost frustrated Belton's attempts to +be cheery. But he persevered nevertheless. 'It'll be a long time yet +before that day comes, sir.' + +'Ah; that's easily said. But never mind. Why should I want to remain +when I shall have once seen her properly settled. I've nothing to +live for except that she may have a home.' + +On this subject it was quite impossible that Belton should say +anything. Clara was standing by him, and she, as he knew, was engaged +to Captain Aylmer. So circumstanced, what could he say as to Clara's +settlement in life? That something should be said between him and the +old man, and something also between him and Clara, was a matter of +course; but it was quite out of the question that he should discuss +Clara's prospects in life in presence of them both together. + +'Papa's illness makes him a little melancholy,' said Clara. + +'Of course of course. It always does,' said Will. + +'I think he will be better when the weather becomes milder,' said +Clara. + +'I suppose I may be allowed to know how I feel myself,' said the +squire. 'But don't keep Will up here when he wants his dinner. There; +that'll do. You'd better leave me now.' Then Will went out to his old +room, and a quarter of an hour afterwards he found himself seated +with Clara at the dinner-table; and a quarter of an hour after that +the dinner was over, and they had both drawn their chairs to the +fire. + +Neither of them knew how to begin with the other. Clara was under no +obligation to declare her engagement to her cousin, but yet she felt +that it would be unhandsome in her not to do so. Had Will never made +the mistake of wanting to marry her himself, she would have done so +as a matter of course. Had she supposed him to cherish any intention +of renewing that mistake she would have felt herself bound to tell +him so that he might save himself from unnecessary pain. But she gave +him credit for no such intention, and yet she could not but remember +that scene among the rocks. And then was she, or was she not, to say +anything to him about the Askertons? With him also the difficulty was +as great. He did not in truth believe that the tidings which he had +heard from his friend the lawyer required corroboration; but yet it +was necessary that he should know from herself that she had disposed +of her hand and it was necessary also that he should say some word to +her as to their future standing and friendship. + +'You must be very anxious to see how your farm goes on,' said she. + +He had not thought much of his agricultural venture at Belton for the +last three or four days, and would hardly have been vexed had he been +told that every head of cattle about the place had died of the +murrain. Some general idea of the expediency of going on with a thing +which he had commenced still actuated him; but it was the principle +involved, and not the speculation itself, which interested him. But +he could not explain all this, and he therefore was driven to some +cold agreement with her. 'The farm! you mean the stock. Yes; I shall +go and have a look at them early tomorrow. I suppose they're all +alive.' + +'Pudge says that they are doing uncommonly well.' Pudge was a leading +man among the Belton labourers, whom Will had hired to look after his +concerns. + +'That's all right. I dare say Pudge knows quite as much about it as I +do.' + +'But the master's eye is everything.' + +'Pudge's eye is quite as good as mine; and probably much better, as +he knows the country.' + +'You used to say that it was everything for a man to look after his +own interests.' + +'And I do look after them. Pudge and I will go and have a look at +every beast tomorrow, and I shall look very wise and pretend to know +more about it than he does. In stock-farming the chief thing is not +to have too many beasts. They used to say that half-stocking was +whole profit, and whole-stocking was half profit. If the animals +have plenty to eat, and the rent isn't too high, they'll take care +of their owner.' + +'But then there is so much illness.' + +'I always insure.' + +Clara perceived that the subject of the cattle didn't suit the +present occasion. When he had before been at Belton he had liked +nothing so much as talking about the cattle-sheds, and the land, and +the kind of animals which would suit the place; but now the novelty +of the thing was gone and the farmer did not wish to talk of his +farm. In her anxiety to find a topic which would not be painful, she +went from the cattle to the cow. 'You can't think what a pet Bess has +been with us. And she seems to think that she is privileged to go +everywhere, and do anything.' + +'I hope they have taken care that she has had winter food.' + +'Winter food! Why Pudge, and all the Pudges, and all the family in +the house, and all your cattle would have to want, before Bessy would +be allowed to miss a meal. Pudge always says, with his sententious +shake of the head, that the young squire was very particular about +Bessy.' + +'Those Alderneys want a little care that's all.' + +Bessy was of no better service to Clara in her present difficulty +than the less aristocratic herd of common cattle. There was a pause +for a moment, and then she began again. 'How did you leave your +sister, Will?' + +'Much the same as usual. I think she has borne the first of the cold +weather better than she did last year.' + +'I do so wish that I knew her.' + +'Perhaps you will some day. But I don't suppose that you ever will.' + +'Why not?' + +'It's not likely that you'll ever come to Plaistow now and Mary never +leaves it except to go to my uncle's.' + +Clara instantly knew that he had heard of her engagement, though she +could not imagine from what source he had heard it. There was +something in the tone of his voice something especially in the +expression of that word 'now', which told her that it must be so. 'I +should be so glad to go there if I could,' she said, with that +special hypocrisy which belongs to women, and is allowed to them; +'but, of course, I cannot leave papa in his present state.' + +'And if you did leave him you would not go to Plaistow.' + +'Not unless you and Mary asked me.' + +'And you wouldn't if we did. How could you?' + +'What do you mean, Will? It seems as though you were almost savage to +me.' + +'Am I? Well I feel savage, but not to you.' + +'Nor to any one, I hope, belonging to me.' She knew that it was all +coming; that the whole subject of her future life must now be +discussed; and she began to fear that the discussion might not be +easy. But she did not know how to give it a direction. She feared +that he would become angry, and yet she knew not why. He had accepted +his own rejection tranquilly, and could hardly take it as an offence +that she should now be engaged to Captain Aylmer. + +'Mr Green has told me', said he, 'that you are going to be married.' + +'How could Mr Green have known?' + +'He did know at least I suppose he knew, for he told me.' + +'How very odd.' + +'I suppose it is true?' Clara did not make any immediate answer, and +then he repeated the question. 'I suppose it is true?' + +'It is true that I am engaged.' + +'To Captain Aylmer?' + +'Yes; to Captain Aylmer. You know that I had known him very long. I +hope that you are not angry with me because I did not write and tell +you. Strange as it may seem, seeing that you had heard it already, it +is not a week yet since it was settled; and had I written to you, I +could only have addressed my letter to you here.' + +'I wasn't thinking about that. I didn't specially want you to write +to me. What difference would it make?' + +'But I should have felt that I owed it to your kindness and your +regard for me.' + +'My regard! What's the use of regard?' + +'You are not going to quarrel with me, Will, because--because--because--. +If you had really been my brother, as you once said you would be, you +could not but have approved of what I have done.' + +'But I am not your brother.' + +'Oh, Will; that sounds so cruel!' + +'I am not your brother, and I have no right to approve or +disapprove.' + +'I will not say that I could make my engagement with Captain Aylmer +dependent on your approval. It would not be fair to him to do so, and +it would put me into a false position.' + +'Have I asked you to make any such absurd sacrifice?' + +'Listen to me, Will. I say that I could not do that. But, short of +that, there is nothing I would not do to satisfy you. I think so much +of your judgment and goodness, and so very much of your affection; I +love you so dearly, that Oh, Will, say a kind word to me!' + +'A kind word; yes, but what sort of kindness?' + +'You must know that Captain Aylmer' + +'Don't talk to me of Captain Aylmer. Have I said anything against +him? Have I ventured to make any objection? Of course, I know his +superiority to myself. I know that he is a man of the world, and that +I am not; that he is educated, and that I am ignorant; that he has a +position, and that I have none; that he has much to offer, and that I +have nothing. Of course, I see the difference; but that does not make +me comfortable.' + +'Will, I had learned to love him before I had ever seen you.' + +'Why didn't you tell me so, that I might have known there was no +hope, and have gone away utterly out of the kingdom? If it was all +settled then, why didn't you tell me, and save me from breaking my +heart with false hopes?' + +'Nothing was settled then. I hardly knew my own mind; but yet I loved +him. There; cannot you understand it? Have I not told you enough?' + +'Yes, I understand it.' + +'And do you blame me?' + +He paused awhile before he answered her. 'No; I do not blame you. I +suppose I must blame no one but myself. But you should bear with me. +I was so happy, and now I am so wretched.' + +There was nothing that she could say to comfort him. She had +altogether mistaken the nature of the man's regard, and had even +mistaken the very nature of the man. So much she now learned, and +could tell herself that had she known him better she would either +have prevented this second visit, or would have been careful that he +should have learned the truth from herself before he came. Now she +could only wait till he should again have got strength to hide his +suffering under the veil of his own manliness. + +'I have not a word to say against what you are doing,' he said at +last; 'not a word. But you will understand what I mean when I tell +you that it is not likely that you will come to Plaistow.' + +'Some day, Will, when you have a wife of your own--' + +'Very well; but we won't talk about that at present, if you please. +When I have, things will be different. In the meantime your course +and mine will be separate. You, I suppose, will be with him in +London, while I shall be,--at the devil as likely as not.' + +'How can you speak to me in that way? Is that like being my brother?' + +'I don't feel like being your brother. However, I beg your pardon, +and now we will have done with it. Spilt milk can't be helped, and my +milk pans have got themselves knocked over. That's all. Don't you +think we ought to go up to your father again?' + +On the following day Belton and Mr Amedroz discussed the same +subject, but the conversation went off very quietly. Will was +determined not to exhibit his weakness before the father as he had +done before the daughter. When the squire, with a maundering voice, +drawled out some expression of regret that his daughter's choice had +not fallen in another place, Will was able to say that bygones must +be bygones. He regretted it also, but that was now over. And when the +squire endeavoured to say a few ill-natured words about Captain +Aylmer, Will stopped him at once by asserting that the captain was +all that he ought to be. + +'And it would have made me so happy to think that my daughter's child +should come to live in his grandfather's old house,' murmured Mr +Amedroz. + +'And there's no knowing that he mayn't do so yet,' said Will. 'But +all these things are so doubtful that a man is wrong to fix his +happiness upon them.' After that he went out to ramble about, the +place, and before the third day was over Clara was able to perceive +that, in spite of what he had said, he was as busy about the cattle +as though his bread depended on them. + +Nothing had been said as yet about the Askertons, and Clara had +resolved that their name should not first be mentioned by her. Mrs +Askerton had prophesied that Will would have some communication to +make about herself, and Clara would at any rate see whether her +cousin would, of his own accord, introduce the subject. But three +days passed by, and he had made no allusion to the cottage or its +inhabitants. This in itself was singular, as the Askertons were the +only local friends whom Clara knew, and as Belton had become +personally acquainted with Mrs Askerton. But such was the case; and +when Mr Amedroz once said something about Mrs Askerton in the +presence of both Clara and Belton, they both of them shrank from the +subject in a manner that made Clara understand that any conversation +about the Askertons was to be avoided. On the fourth day Clara saw +Mrs Askerton, but then Will Belton's name was not mentioned. There +was therefore, among them all, a sense of some mystery which made +them uncomfortable, and which seemed to admit of no solution. Clara +was more sure than ever that her cousin had made no inquiries that he +should not have made, and that he would put no information that he +might have to an improper use. But of such certainty on her part she +could say nothing. + +Three weeks passed by, and it seemed as though Belton's visit were to +come to an end without any further open trouble. Now and then +something was said about. Captain Aylmer; but it was very little, and +Belton made no further reference to his own feelings. It had come to +be understood that his visit was to be limited to a month; and to +both him and Clara the month wore itself away slowly, neither of them +having much pleasure in the society of the other. The old squire came +down stairs once for an hour or two, and spent the whole time in +bitter complaints. Everything was wrong, and everybody was +ill-treating him. Even with Will he quarrelled, or did his best to +quarrel, in regard to everything about the place, though at the same +time he did not cease to grumble at his visitor for going away +and leaving him. Belton bore it all so well that the grumbling +and quarrelling did not lead to much; but it required all his +good-humour and broad common sense to prevent serious troubles and +misunderstanding. + +During the period of her cousin's visit at Belton, Clara received two +letters from Captain Aylmer, who was spending the Christmas holidays +with his father and mother, and on the day previous to that of her +cousin's departure there came a third. In neither of these letters +was there much said about Sir Anthony, but they were all very full of +Lady Aylmer. In the first he wrote with something of the personal +enthusiasm of a lover and therefore Clara hardly felt the little +drawbacks to her happiness which were contained in certain innuendoes +respecting Lady Aylmer's ideas, and Lady Aylmer's hopes, and Lady +Aylmer's fears. Clara was not going to marry Lady Aylmer, and did not +fear but that she could hold her own against any mother-in-law in the +world when once they should be brought face to face. And as long as +Captain Aylmer seemed to take her part rather than that of his mother +it was all very well. The second letter was more trying to her +temper, as it contained one or two small morsels of advice as to +conduct which had evidently originated with her ladyship. Now there +is nothing, I take it, so irritating to an engaged young lady as +counsel from her intended husband's mamma. An engaged young lady, if +she be really in love, will take almost anything from her lover as +long as she is sure that it comes altogether from himself. He may +take what liberties he pleases with her dress. He may prescribe high +church or low church if he be not, as is generally the case, in a +condition to accept, rather than to give, prescriptions on that +subject. He may order almost any course of reading providing that he +supply the books. And he may even interfere with the style of +dancing, and recommend or prohibit partners. But he may not thrust +his mother down his future wife's throat. In answer to the second +letter, Clara did not say much to show her sense of objection. Indeed +she said nothing. But in saying nothing she showed her objection, and +Captain Aylmer understood it. Then came the third letter, and as it +contained matter touching upon our story, it shall be given entire +and I hope it may be taken by gentlemen about to marry as a fair +specimen of the sort of letter they ought not to write to the girls +of their hearts: + + +Aylmer Castle, 19th January, 186--. + +'Dearest Clara,--I got your letter of the 16th yesterday, and was sorry +you said nothing in reference to my mother's ideas as to the house at +Perivale. Of course she knew that I heard from you, and was +disappointed when, I was obliged to tell her, that you had not +alluded to the subject. She is very anxious about you, and, having +now given her assent to our marriage, is of course desirous of +knowing that her kindly feeling is reciprocated. I assured her that +my own Clara was the last person to be remiss in such a matter, and +reminded her that young ladies are seldom very careful in their mode +of answering letters. Remember, therefore, that I am now your +guarantee, and send some message to relieve me from my liability. + +'When I told her of your father's long illness, which she laments +greatly, and of your cousin's continued presence at Belton Castle, +she seemed to think that Mr Belton's visit should not be prolonged. +When I told her that he was your nearest relative, she remarked that +cousins are the same as any other people,--which indeed they are. I +know that my Clara will not suppose that I mean more by this than the +words convey. Indeed I mean less. But not having the advantage of a +mother of your own, you will not be sorry to know what are my +mother's opinions on matters which so nearly concern you. + +'And now I come to another subject, as to which what I shall say will +surprise you very much. You know, I think, that my aunt Winterfield +and I had some conversation about your neighbours, the Askertons; and +you will remember that my aunt, whose ideas on such matters were +always correct, was a little afraid that your father had not made +sufficient inquiry respecting them before he allowed them to settle +near him as tenants. It now turns out that she is very far, indeed, +from what she ought to be. My mother at first thought of writing to +you about this; but she is a little fatigued, and at last resolved +that under all the circumstances it might be as well that I should +tell you. It seems that Mrs Askerton was married before to a certain +Captain Berdmore, and that she left her first husband during his +lifetime under the protection of Colonel Askerton. I believe they, +the Colonel and Mrs Askerton, have been since married. Captain +Berdmore died about four years ago in India, and it is probable that +such a marriage has taken place. But under these circumstances, as +Lady Aylmer says, you will at once perceive that all acquaintance +between you and the lady should be brought to an end. Indeed, your +own sense of what is becoming to you, either as an unmarried girl or +as my future wife, or indeed as a woman at all, will at once make you +feel that this must be so. I think, if I were you, I would tell the +whole to Mr Amedroz; but this I will leave to your own discretion. I +can assure you that Lady Aylmer has full proof as to the truth of +what I tell you. + +'I go up to London in February. I suppose I may hardly hope to see you +before the recess in July or August; but I trust that before that we +shall have fixed the day when you will make me the happiest of men. + +'Yours, with truest affection, + +'F. F. AYLMER.' + + +It was a disagreeable, nasty letter from the first line to the last. +There was not a word in it which did not grate against Clara's +feelings not a thought expressed which did not give rise to fears as +to her future happiness. But the information which it contained about +the Askertons 'the communication,' as Mrs Askerton herself would have +called it made her for the moment almost forget Lady Aylmer and her +insolence. Could this story be true? And if true, how far would it be +imperative on her to take the hint, or rather obey the order, which +had been given her? What steps should she take to learn the truth? +Then she remembered Mrs Askerton's promise 'If you want to ask any +questions, and will ask them of me, I will answer them.' The +communication, as to which Mrs Askerton had prophesied, had now been +made but it had been made not by Will Belton, whom Mrs Askerton had +reviled, but by Captain Aylmer, whose praises Mrs Askerton had so +loudly sung. As Clara thought of this, she could not analyse her own +feelings, which were not devoid of a certain triumph. She had known +that Belton would not put on his armour to attack a woman. Captain +Aylmer had done so, and she was hardly surprised at his doing it. Yet +Captain Aylmer was the man she loved! Captain Aylmer was the man she +had promised to marry. But, in truth, she hardly knew which was the +man she loved! + +This letter came on a Sunday morning, and on that day she and Belton +went to church together. On the following morning early he was to +start for Taunton. At church they saw Mrs Askerton, whose attendance +there was not very frequent. It seemed, indeed, as though she had +come with the express purpose of seeing Belton once during his visit. +As they left the church she bowed to him, and that was all they saw +of each other throughout the month that he remained in Somersetshire. + +'Come to me tomorrow Clara,' Mrs Askerton said as they all passed +through the village together. Clara muttered some reply, having not +as yet made up her mind as to what her conduct must be. Early on the +next morning Will Belton went away, and again Clara got up to give +him his breakfast. On this occasion he had no thought of kissing her. +He went away without having had a word said to him about Mrs +Askerton, and then Clara settled herself down to the work of +deliberation. What should she do with reference to the communication +that had been made to her by Captain Aylmer? + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +AYLMER PARK + +Aylmer Park and the great house of the Aylmers together formed an +important and, as regarded in some minds, an imposing country +residence. The park was large, including some three or four hundred +acres, and was peopled, rather thinly, by aristocratic deer. It was +surrounded by an aristocratic paling, and was entered, at three +different points, by aristocratic lodges. The sheep were more +numerous than the deer, because Sir Anthony, though he had a large +income, was not in very easy circumstances. The ground was quite +flat; and though there were thin belts of trees, and some ornamental +timber here and there, it was not well wooded. It had no special +beauty of its own, and depended for its imposing qualities chiefly on +its size, on its three sets of double lodges, and on its old +established character as an important family place in the county. The +house was of stone, with a portico of Ionic columns which looked as +though it hardly belonged of right to the edifice, and stretched +itself out grandly, with two pretentious wings, which certainly gave +it a just claim to be called a mansion. It required a great many +servants to keep it in order, and the numerous servants required an +experienced duenna, almost as grand in appearance as Lady Aylmer +herself, to keep them in order. There was an open carriage and a +closed carriage, and a butler, and two footmen, and three +gamekeepers, and four gardeners, and there was a coachman, and there +were grooms, and sundry inferior men and boys about the place to do +the work which the gardeners and game-keepers and grooms did not +choose to do themselves. And they all became fat, and lazy, and +stupid, and respectable together; so that, as the reader will at once +perceive, Aylmer Park was kept up in the proper English style. Sir +Anthony very often discussed with his steward the propriety of +lessening the expenditure of his residence, and Lady Aylmer always +attended and probably directed these discussions; but it was found +that nothing could be done. Any attempt to remove a gamekeeper or a +gardener would evidently throw the whole machinery of Aylmer Park out +of gear. If retrenchment was necessary Aylmer Park must be abandoned, +and the glory of the Aylmers must be allowed to pale. But things were +not so bad as that with Sir Anthony. The gardeners, grooms, and +gamekeepers were maintained; ten domestic servants sat down to four +heavy meals in the servants' hall every day, and Lady Aylmer +contented herself with receiving little or no company, and with +stingy breakfasts and bad dinners for herself and her husband and +daughter. By all this it must be seen that she did her duty as the +wife of an English country gentleman, and properly maintained his +rank as a baronet. + +He was a heavy man, over seventy years of age, much afflicted with +gout, and given to no pursuit on earth which was available for his +comfort. He had been a hunting man, and he had shot also; but not +with that energy which induces a sportsman to carry on those +amusements in opposition to the impediments of age. He had been, and +still was, a county magistrate; but he had never been very successful +in the justice-room, and now seldom troubled the county with his +judicial incompetence. He had been fond of good dinners and good +wine, and still, on occasions, would make attempts at enjoyment in +that line; but the gout and Lady Aylmer together were too many for +him, and he had but small opportunity for filling up the blanks of +his existence out of the kitchen or cellar. He was a big man, with a +broad chest, and a red face, and a quantity of white hair and was +much given to abusing his servants. He took some pleasure in +standing, with two sticks, on the top of the steps before his own +front door, and railing at any one who came in his way. But he could +not do this when Lady Aylmer was by; and his dependents, knowing his +habits, had fallen into an ill-natured way of deserting the side of +the house which he frequented. With his eldest son, Anthony Aylmer, +he was not on very good terms; and though there was no positive +quarrel, the heir did not often come to Aylmer Park. Of his son +Frederic he was proud and the best days of his life were probably +those which Captain Aylmer spent at the house. The table was then +somewhat more generously spread, and this was an excuse for having up +the special port in which he delighted. Altogether his life was not +very attractive; and though he had been born to a baronetcy, and +eight thousand a-year, and the possession of Aylmer Park, I do not +think that he was, or had been, a happy man. + +Lady Aylmer was more fortunate. She had occupations of which her +husband knew nothing, and for which he was altogether unfit. Though +she could not succeed in making retrenchments, the could and did +succeed in keeping the household books. Sir Anthony could only blow +up the servants when they were thoughtless enough to come in his way, +and in doing that was restricted by his wife's presence. But Lady +Aylmer could get at them day and night. She had no gout to impede her +progress about the house and grounds, and could make her way to +places which the master never saw; and then she wrote many letters +daily, whereas Sir Anthony hardly ever took a pen in his hand. And +she knew the cottages of all the poor about the place, and knew also +all their sins of omission and commission. She was driven out, too, +every day, summer and winter, wet and dry, and consumed enormous +packets of wool and worsted, which were sent to her monthly from +York. And she had a companion in her daughter, whereas Sir Anthony +had no companion. Wherever Lady Aylmer went, Miss Aylmer went with +her, and relieved what might otherwise have been the tedium of her +life. She had been a beauty on a large scale, and was still aware +that she had much in her personal appearance which justified pride. +She carried herself uprightly, with a commanding nose and broad +forehead; and though the graces of her own hair had given way to a +front, there was something even in the front which added to her +dignity, if it did not make her a handsome woman. + +Miss Aylmer, who was the eldest of the younger generation, and who +was now gently descending from her fortieth year, lacked the strength +of her mother's character, but admired her mother's ways, and +followed Lady Aylmer in all things at a distance. She was very good +as indeed was Lady Aylmer entertaining a high idea of duty, and aware +that her own life admitted of but little self-indulgence. She had no +pleasures, she incurred no expenses; and was quite alive to the fact +that as Aylmer Park required a regiment of lazy, gormandizing +servants to maintain its position in the county, the Aylmers +themselves should not be lazy, and should not gormandize. No one was +more careful with her few shillings than Miss Aylmer. She had, +indeed, abandoned a life's correspondence with an old friend because +she would not pay the postage on letters to Italy. She knew that it +was for the honour of the family that one of her brothers should sit +in Parliament, and was quite willing to deny herself a new dress +because sacrifices must be made to lessen electioneering expenses. +She knew that it was her lot to be driven about slowly in a carriage +with a livery servant before her and another behind her, and then eat +a dinner which the cook-maid would despise. She was aware that it was +her duty to be snubbed by her mother, and to encounter her father's +ill-temper, and to submit to her brother's indifference, and to have, +so to say, the slightest possible modicum of personal individuality. +She knew that she had never attracted a man's love, and might hardly +hope to make friends for the comfort of her coming age. But still she +was contented, and felt that she had consolation for it all in the +fact that she was am. Aylmer. She read many novels, and it cannot but +be supposed that something of regret would steal over her as she +remembered that nothing of the romance of life had ever, or could +ever, come in her way. She wept over the loves of many women, though +she had never been happy or unhappy in her own. She read of gaiety, +though she never encountered it, and must have known that the world +elsewhere was less dull than it was at Aylmer Park. But she took her +life as it came, without a complaint, and prayed that God would make +her humble in the high position to which it had pleased Him to call +her. She hated Radicals, and thought that Essays and Reviews, and +Bishop Colenso, came direct from the Evil One. She taught the little +children in the parish, being specially urgent to them always to +courtesy when they saw any of the family and was as ignorant, meek, +and stupid a poor woman as you shall find anywhere in Europe. + +It may be imagined that Captain Aylmer, who knew the comforts of his +club and was accustomed to life in London, would feel the dullness of +the paternal roof to be almost unendurable. In truth, he was not very +fond of Aylmer Park, but he was more gifted with patience than most +men of his age and position, and was aware that it behoved him to +keep the Fifth Commandment if he expected to have his own days +prolonged in the land. He therefore made his visits periodically, and +contented himself with clipping a few days at both ends from the +length prescribed by family tradition, which his mother was desirous +of exacting. September was always to be passed at Aylmer Park, +because of the shooting. In September, indeed, the eldest son himself +was wont to be there probably with a friend or two and the fat old +servants bestirred themselves, and there was something of life about +the place. At Christmas, Captain Aylmer was there as the only +visitor, and Christmas was supposed to extend from the middle of +December to the opening of Parliament. It must, however, be +explained, that on the present occasion his visit had been a matter +of treaty and compromise. He had not gone to Aylmer Park at all till +his mother had in some sort assented to his marriage with Clara +Amedroz. To this Lady Aylmer had been very averse, and there had been +many serious letters. Belinda Aylmer, the daughter of the house, had +had a bad time in pleading her brother's cause and some very harsh +words had been uttered but ultimately the matter had been arranged, +and, as is usual in such contests, the mother had yielded to the son. +Captain Aylmer had therefore gone down a few days before Christmas, +with a righteous feeling that he owed much to his mother for her +condescension, and almost prepared to make himself very disagreeable +to Clara by way of atoning to his family for his folly in desiring to +marry her. + +Lady Aylmer was very plain-spoken on the subject of all Clara's +shortcomings very plain-spoken, and very inquisitive. 'She will never +have one shilling, I suppose?' she said. + +'Yes, ma'am.' Captain Aylmer always called his mother 'ma'am'. 'She +will have that fifteen hundred pounds that I told you of.' + +'That is to say, you will have back the money which you yourself have +given her, Fred. I suppose that is the English of it?' Then Lady +Aylmer raised her eyebrows and looked very wise. + +'Just so, ma'am.' + +'You can't call that having anything of her own. In point of fact she +is penniless.' + +'It is no good harping on that,' said Captain Aylmer, somewhat +sharply. + +'Not in the least, my dear; no good at all. Of course you have looked +it all in the face. You will be a poor man instead of a rich man, but +you will have enough to live on that is if she doesn't have a large +family which of course she will.' + +'I shall do very well, ma'am.' + +'You might do pretty well, I dare say, if you could live privately at +Perivale, keeping up the old family house there, and having no +expenses; but you'll find even that close enough with your seat in +Parliament, and the necessity there is that you should be half the +year in London. Of course she won't go to London. She can't expect +it. All that had better be made quite clear at once.' Hence had come +the letter about the house at Perivale, containing Lady Aylmer's +advice on that subject, as to which Clara made no reply. + +Lady Aylmer, though she had given her assent, was still not +altogether without hope. It might be possible that the two young +people could be brought to see the folly and error of their ways +before it would be too late; and that Lady Aylmer, by a judicious +course of constant advice, might be instrumental in opening the eyes, +if not of the lady, at any rate of the gentleman. She had great +reliance on her own powers, and knew well that a falling drop will +hollow a stone. Her son manifested no hot eagerness to complete his +folly in a hurry, and to cut the throat of his prospects out of hand. +Time, therefore, would be allowed to her, and she was a woman who +could use time with patience. Having, through her son, dispatched her +advice about the house at Perivale,--which simply amounted to this, +that Clara should expressly state her willingness to live there alone +whenever it might suit her husband to be in London or elsewhere,--she +went to work on other points, connected with the Amedroz family, and +eventually succeeded in learning something very much like the truth +as to poor Mrs Askerton and her troubles. At first she was so +comfortably horror-stricken by the iniquity she had unravelled,--so +delightfully shocked and astounded,--as to believe that the facts as +they then stood would suffice to annul the match. + +'You don't tell me', she said to Belinda, 'that Frederic's wife will +have been the friend of such a woman as that!' And Lady Aylmer, +sitting upstairs with her household books before her, put up her +great fat hands and her great fat arms, and shook her head,--front and +all,--in most satisfactory dismay. + +'But I suppose Clara did not know it.' Belinda had considered it to +be an act of charity to call Miss Amedroz Clara since the family +consent had been given. + +'Didn't know it! They have been living in that sort of way that they +must have been confidantes in everything. Besides, I always hold that +a woman is responsible for her female friends.' + +'I think if she consents to drop her at once that is, absolutely to +make a promise that she will never speak to her again Frederic ought +to take that as sufficient. That is, of course, mamma, unless she has +had anything to do with it herself.' + +'After this I don't know how I'm to trust her. I don't indeed. It +seems to me that she has been so artful throughout. It has been a +regular case of catching.' + +'I suppose, of course, that she has been anxious to marry Frederic +but perhaps that was natural.' + +'Anxious look at her going there just when he had to meet his +constituents. How young women can do such things passes me! And how +it is that men don't see it all, when it's going on just under their +noses, I can't understand. And then, her getting my poor dear sister +to speak to him when she was dying! I didn't think your aunt would +have been so weak.' It will be thus seen that there was entire +confidence on this subject between Lady Aylmer and her daughter. + +We know what were the steps taken with reference to the discovery, +and how the family were waiting for Clara's reply. Lady Aylmer, +though in her words she attributed so much mean cunning to Miss +Amedroz, still was disposed to believe that that lady would show +rather a high spirit on this occasion; and trusted to that high +spirit as the means for making the breach which she still hoped to +accomplish. It had been intended or rather desired that Captain +Aylmer's letter should have been much sharper and authoritative than +he had really made it; but the mother could not write the letter +herself, and had felt that to write in her own name would not have +served to create anger on Clara's part against her betrothed. But she +had quite succeeded in inspiring her son with a feeling of horror +against the iniquity of the Askertons. He was prepared to be +indignantly moral; and perhaps the misguided Clara might be silly +enough to say a word for her lost friend! Such being the present +position of affairs, there was certainly ground for hope. + +And now they were all waiting for Clara's answer. Lady Aylmer had +well calculated the course of post, and knew that a letter might +reach them by Wednesday morning. 'Of course she will not write on +Sunday,' she had said to her son, 'but you have a right to expect +that not another day should go by.' Captain Aylmer, who felt that +they were putting Clara on her trial, shook his head impatiently, and +made no immediate answer. Lady Aylmer, triumphantly feeling that she +had the culprit on the hip, did not care to notice this. She was +doing the best she could for his happiness as she had done for his +health, when in days gone by she had administered to him his +infantine rhubarb and early senna; but as she had never then expected +him to like her doses, neither did she now expect that he should be +well pleased at the remedial measures to which he was to be +subjected. + +No letter came on the Wednesday, nor did any come on the Thursday, +and then it was thought by the ladies at the Park that the time had +come for speaking a word or two. Belinda, at her mother's instance, +began the attack not in her mother's presence, but when she only was +with her brother. + +'Isn't it odd, Frederic, that Clara shouldn't write about those +people at Belton?' + +'Somersetshire is the other side of London, and letters take a long +time.' + +'But if she had written on Monday, her answer would have been here on +Wednesday morning indeed, you would have had it Tuesday evening, as +mamma sent over to Whitby for the day mail letters.' Poor Belinda was +a bad lieutenant, and displayed too much of her senior officer's +tactics in thus showing how much calculation and how much solicitude +there had been as to the expected letter. + +'If I am contented I suppose you may be,' said the brother. + +'But it does seem to me to be so very important! If she hasn't got +your letter, you know, it would be so necessary that you should write +again, so that the--the--contamination should be stopped as soon as +possible.' Captain Aylmer shook his head and walked away. He was, no +doubt, prepared to be morally indignant,--morally very indignant,--at +the Askerton iniquity; but he did not like the word contamination as +applied to his future wife. + +'Frederic,' said his mother, later on the same day when the +hardly-used groom had returned from his futile afternoon's inquiry at +the neighbouring post town,--'I think you should do something in this +affair.' + +'Do what, ma'am? Go off to Belton myself?' + +'No, no. I certainly would not do that. In the first place it would +be very inconvenient to you, and in the next place it would not be +fair upon us. I did not mean that at all. But I think that something +should be done. She should be made to understand.' + +'You may be sure, ma'am, that she understands as well as anybody.' + +'I dare say she is clever enough at these kind of things.' + +'What kind of things?' + +'Don't bite my nose off, Frederic, because I am anxious about your +wife.' + +'What is it that you wish me to do? I have written to her, and can +only wait for her answer.' + +'It may be that she feels a delicacy in writing to you on such a +subject; though I own However, to make a long story short, if you +like, I will write to her myself.' + +'I don't see that that would do any good. It would only give her +offence.' + +'Give her offence, Frederic, to receive a letter from her future +mother-in-law from me! Only think, Frederic, what you are saying.' + +'If she thought she was being bullied about this, she would turn +rusty at once.' + +'Turn rusty! What am I to think of a young lady who is prepared to +turn rusty at once, too because she is cautioned by the mother of the +man she professes to love against an improper acquaintance against an +acquaintance so very improper?' Lady Aylmer's eloquence should have +been heard to be appreciated. It is but tame to say that she raised +her fat arms and fat hands, and wagged her front her front that was +the more formidable as it was the old one, somewhat rough and +dishevelled, which she was wont to wear in the morning. The emphasis +of her words should have been heard, and the fitting solemnity of her +action should have been seen. 'If there were any doubt,' she +continued to say, 'but there is no doubt. There are the damning +proofs.' There are certain words usually confined to the vocabularies +of men, which women such as Lady Aylmer delight to use on special +occasions, when strong circumstances demand strong language. As she +said this she put her hand below the table, pressing it apparently +against her own august person; but she was in truth indicating the +position of a certain valuable correspondence, which was locked up in +the drawer of her writing-table. + +'You can write if you like it, of course; but I think you ought to +wait a few more days.' + +'Very well, Frederic; then I will wait. I will wait till Sunday. I do +not wish to take any step of which you do not approve. If you have +not heard by Sunday morning, then I will write to her on Monday.' + +On the Saturday afternoon life was becoming inexpressibly +disagreeable to Captain Aylmer, and he began to meditate an escape +from the Park. In spite of the agreement between him and his mother, +which he understood to signify that nothing more was to be said as to +Clara's wickedness, at any rate till Sunday after post-hour, Lady +Aylmer had twice attacked him on the Saturday, and had expressed her +opinion that affairs were in a very frightful position. Belinda went +about the house in melancholy guise, with her eyes rarely lifted off +the ground, as though she were prophetically weeping the utter ruin +of her brother's respectability. And even Sir Anthony had raised his +eyes and shaken his head, when, on opening the post-bag at the +breakfast-table an operation which was always performed by Lady +Aylmer in person her ladyship had exclaimed, 'again no letter!' Then +Captain Aylmer thought that he would fly, and resolved that, in the +event of such flight, he would give special orders as to the +re-direction of his own letters from the post-office at Whitby. + +That evening, after dinner, as soon as his mother and sister had left +the room, he began the subject with his father. 'I think I shall go +up to town on Monday, sir,' said he. + +'So soon as that. I thought you were to stop till the 9th.' + +'There are things I must see to in London, and I believe I had better +go at once.' + +'Your mother will be greatly disappointed.' + +'I shall be sorry for that;--but business is business, you know.' Then +the father filled his glass and passed the bottle. He himself did not +at all like the idea of his son's going before the appointed time, +but he did not say a word of himself. He looked at the red-hot coals, +and a hazy glimmer of a thought passed through his mind, that he too +would escape from Aylmer Park,--if it were possible. + +'If you'll allow me, I'll take the dog-cart over to Whitby on Monday, +for the express train.' + +'You can do that certainly, but--' + +'Sir?' + +'Have you spoken to your mother yet?' + +'Not yet. I will to-night.' + +'I think she'll be a little angry, Fred.' There was a sudden tone of +subdued confidence in the old man's voice as he made this suggestion, +which, though it was by no means a customary tone, his son well +understood. 'Don't you think she will be eh, a little?' + +'She shouldn't go on as she does with me about Clara,' said the +captain. + +'Ah,--I supposed there was something of that. Are you drinking port?' + +'Of course I know that she means all that is good,' said the son, +passing back the bottle. + +'Oh yes;--she means all that is good.' + +'She is the best mother in the world.' + +'You may say that, Fred;--and the best wife.' + +'But if she can't have her own way altogether--' Then the son paused, +and the father shook his head. + +'Of course she likes to have her own way,' said Sir Anthony. + +'It's all very well in some things.' + +'Yes;--it's very well in some things' + +'But there are things which a man must decide for himself.' + +'I suppose there are,' said Sir Anthony, not venturing to think what +those things might be as regarded himself. + +'Now, with reference to marrying--' + +'I don't know what you want with marrying at all, Fred. You ought to +be very happy as you are. By heavens, I don't know any one who ought +to be happier. If I were you, I know--' + +'But you see, sir, that's all settled.' + +'If it's all settled, I suppose there's an end of it.' + +'It's no good my mother nagging at one.' + +'My dear boy, she's been nagging at me, as you call it, for forty +years. That's her way. The best woman in the world, as we were saying +but that's her way. And it's the way with most of them. They can do +anything if they keep it up anything. The best thing is to bear it if +you've got it to bear. But why on earth you should go and marry, +seeing that you're not the eldest son, and that you've got everything +on earth that you want as a bachelor, I can't understand. I can't +indeed, Fred. By heaven, I can't!' Then Sir Anthony gave a long sigh, +and sat musing awhile, thinking of the club in London to which he +belonged, but which he never entered of the old days in which he had +been master of a bedroom near St. James's Street of his old friends +whom he never saw now, and of whom he never heard, except as one and +another, year after year, shuffled away from their wives to that +world in which there is no marrying or giving in marriage. Ah, well,' +he said, 'I suppose we may as well go into the drawing-room. If it is +settled, I suppose it is settled. But it really seems to me that your +mother is trying to do the best she can for you. It really does.' + +Captain Aylmer did not say anything to his mother that night as to +his going, but as he thought of his prospects in the solitude of his +bedroom, he felt really grateful to his father for the solicitude +which Sir Anthony had displayed on his behalf. It was not often that +he received paternal counsel, but now that it had come he +acknowledged its value. That Clara Amedroz was a self-willed woman he +thought that he was aware. She was self-reliant, at any rate and by +no means ready to succumb with that pretty feminine docility which he +would like to have seen her evince. He certainly would not wish to be +'nagged' by his wife Indeed he knew himself well enough to assure +himself that he would not stand it for a day. In his own house he +would be master, and if there came tempests he would rule them. He +could at least promise himself that. As his mother had been strong, +so had his father been weak. But he had as he felt thankful in +knowing inherited his mother's strength rather than his father's +weakness. But, for all that, why have a tempest to rule at all? Even +though a man do rule his domestic tempests, he cannot have a very +quiet house with them. Then again he remembered how very easily Clara +had been won. He wished to be just to all men and women, and to Clara +among the number. He desired even to be generous to her with a +moderate generosity. But above all things he desired not to be duped. +What if Clara had in truth instigated her aunt to that deathbed +scene, as his mother had more than once suggested! He did not believe +it. He was sure that it had not been so. But what if it were so? His +desire to be generous and trusting was moderate but his desire not to +be cheated, not to be deceived, was immoderate. Upon the whole might +it not be well for him to wait a little longer, and ascertain how +Clara really intended to behave herself in this emergency of the +Askertons? Perhaps, after all, his mother might be right. + +On the Sunday the expected letter came but before its contents are +made known, it will be well that we should go back to Belton, and see +what was done by Clara in reference to the tidings which her lover +had sent her. + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +MRS ASKERTON'S STORY + +When Clara received the letter from Captain Aylmer on which so much +is supposed to hang, she made up her mind to say nothing of it to any +one not to think of it if she could avoid thinking of it till her +cousin should have left her. She could not mention it to him; for, +though there was no one from whom she would sooner have asked advice +than from him, even on so delicate a matter as this, she could not do +so in the present case, as her informant was her cousin's successful +rival. When, therefore, Mrs Askerton on leaving the church had spoken +some customary word to Clara, begging her to come to the cottage on +the following day, Clara had been unable to answer not having as yet +made up her mind whether she would or would not go to the cottage +again. Of course the idea of consulting her father occurred to her or +rather the idea of telling him; but any such telling would lead to +some advice from him which she would find it difficult to obey, and +to which she would be unable to trust. And, moreover, why should she +repeat this evil story against her neighbours? + +She had a long morning by herself after Will had started, and then +she endeavoured to arrange her thoughts and lay down for herself a +line of conduct. Presuming this story to be true, to what did it +amount? It certainly amounted to very much. If, in truth, this woman +had left her own husband and gone away to live with another man, she +had by doing so at any rate while she was doing so fallen in such a +way as to make herself unfit for the society of an unmarried young +woman who meant to keep her name unblemished before the world. Clara +would not attempt any further unravelling of the case, even in her +own mind but on that point she could not allow herself to have a +doubt. Without condemning the unhappy victim, she understood well +that she would owe it to all those who held her dear, if not to +herself, to eschew any close intimacy with one in such a position. +The rules of the world were too plainly written to allow her to guide +herself by any special judgment of her own in such a matter. But if +this friend of hers having been thus unfortunate had since redeemed, +or in part redeemed, her position by a second marriage, would it be +then imperative upon her to remember the past for ever, and to +declare that the stain was indelible? Clara felt that with a previous +knowledge of such a story she would probably have avoided any +intimacy with Mrs Askerton. She would then have been justified in +choosing whether such intimacy should or should not exist, and would +so have chosen out of deference to the world's opinion. But now it +was too late for that. Mrs Askerton had for years been her friend; +and Clara had to ask herself this question: was it now needful did +her own feminine purity demand that she should throw her friend over +because in past years her life had been tainted by misconduct. + +It was clear enough at any rate that this was expected from her nay, +imperatively demanded by him who was to be her lord by him to whom +her future obedience would be due. Whatever might be her immediate +decision, he would have a right to call upon her to be guided by his +judgment as soon as she would become his wife. And indeed, she felt +that he had such right now unless she should decide that no such +right should be his, now or ever. It was still within her power to +say that she could not submit herself to such a rule as his but +having received his commands she must do that or obey them. Then she +declared to herself, not following the matter out logically, but +urged to her decision by sudden impulse, that at any rate she would +not obey Lady Aylmer. She would have nothing to do, in any such +matter, with Lady Aylmer. Lady Aylmer should be no god to her. That +question about the house at Perivale had been very painful to her. +She felt that she could have endured the dreary solitude at Perivale +without complaint, if, after her marriage, her husband's +circumstances had made such a mode of living expedient. But to have +been asked to pledge her consent to such a life before her marriage, +to feel that he was bargaining for the privilege of being rid of her, +to know that the Aylmer people were arranging that he, if he would +marry her, should be as little troubled with his wife as possible all +this had been very grievous to her. She had tried to console herself +by the conviction that Lady Aylmer not Frederic had been the sinner; +but even in that consolation there had been the terrible flaw that +the words had come to her written by Frederic's hand. Could Will +Belton have written such a letter to his future wife? + +In her present emergency she must be guided by her own judgment or +her own instincts not by any edicts from Aylmer Park! If in what +she might do she should encounter the condemnation of Captain +Aylmer, she would answer him she would be driven to answer him by +counter-condemnation of him and his mother. Let it be so. Anything +would be better than a mean, truckling subservience to the imperious +mistress of Aylmer Park. + +But what should she do as regarded Mrs Askerton? That the story was +true she was beginning to believe. That there was some such history +was made certain to her by the promise which Mrs Askerton had given +her. + +'If you want to ask any questions, and will ask them of me, I will +answer them.' Such a promise would not have been volunteered unless +there was something special to be told. It would be best, perhaps, to +demand from Mrs Askerton the fulfilment of this promise. But then in +doing so she must own from whence her information had come. Mrs +Askerton had told her that the 'communication' would be made by her +Cousin Will. Her Cousin Will had gone away without a word of Mrs +Askerton, and now the 'communication' had come from Captain Aylmer! + +The Monday and Tuesday were rainy days, and the rain was some excuse +for her not going to the cottage. On the Wednesday her father was +ill, and his illness made a further excuse for her remaining at home. +But on the Wednesday evening there came a note to her from Mrs +Askerton. 'You naughty girl, why do you not come to me? Colonel +Askerton has been away since yesterday morning, and I am forgetting +the sound of my own voice. I did not trouble you when your divine +cousin was here for reasons; but unless you come to me now I shall +think that his divinity has prevailed. Colonel Askerton is in +Ireland, about some property, and will not be back till next week.' + +Clara sent back a promise by the messenger, and on the following +morning she put on her hat and shawl, and started on her dreaded +task. When she left the house she had not even yet quite made up her +mind what she would do. At first she put her lover's letter into her +pocket, so that she might have it for reference; but, on second +thoughts, she replaced it in her desk, dreading lest she might be +persuaded into showing or reading some part of it. There had come a +sharp frost after the rain, and the ground was hard and dry. In order +that she might gain some further last moment for thinking, she walked +round, up among the rocks, instead of going straight to the cottage; +and for a moment,--though the air was sharp with frost,--she sat upon +the stone where she had been seated when her Cousin Will blurted out +the misfortune of his heart. She sat there on purpose that she might +think of him, and recall his figure, and the tones of his voice, and +the look of his eyes, and the gesture of his face. What a man he +was;--so tender, yet so strong; so thoughtful of others, and yet so +self-sufficient! She had, unconsciously, imputed to him one fault, +that he had loved and then forgotten his love;--unconsciously, for +she had tried to think that this was a virtue rather than a fault;--but +now,--with a full knowledge of what she was doing, but without any +intention of doing it,--she acquitted him of that one fault. Now that +she could acquit him, she owned that it would have been a fault. To +have loved, and so soon to have forgotten it! No; he had loved her +truly, and alas! he was one who could not be made to forget it. Then +she went on to the cottage, exercising her thoughts rather on the +contrast between the two men than on the subject to which she should +have applied them. + +'So you have come at last!' said Mrs Askerton. 'Till I got your +message I thought there was to be some dreadful misfortune.' + +'What misfortune?' + +'Something dreadful! One often anticipates something very bad without +exactly knowing what. At least, I do. I am always expecting a +catastrophe when I am alone that is and then I am so often alone.' + +'That simply means low spirits, I suppose?' + +'It's more than that, my dear.' + +'Not much more, I take it.' + +'Once when we were in India we lived close to the powder magazine, +and we were always expecting to be blown up. You never lived near a +powder magazine.' + +'No, never unless there's one at Belton. But I should have thought +that was exciting.' + +'And then there was the gentleman who always had the sword hanging +over him by the horse's hair.' + +'What do you mean, Mrs Askerton?' + +'Don't look so innocent, Clara. You know what I mean. What were the +results at last of your cousin's diligence as a detective officer?' + +'Mrs Askerton, you wrong my cousin greatly. He never once mentioned +your name while he was with us. He did not make a single allusion to +you, or to Colonel Askerton, or to the cottage.' + +'He did not?' + +'Never once.' + +'Then I beg his pardon. But not the less has he been busy making +inquiries.' + +'But why should you say that there is a powder magazine, or a sword +hanging over your head?' + +'Ah, why?' + +Here was the subject ready opened to her hand, and yet Clara did not +know how to go on with it. It seemed to her now that it would have +been easier for her to commence it, if Mrs Askerton had made no +commencement herself. As it was, she knew not how to introduce the +subject of Captain Aylmer's letter, and was almost inclined to wait, +thinking that Mrs Askerton might tell her own story without any such +introduction. But nothing of the kind was forthcoming. Mrs Askerton +began to talk of the frost, and then went on to abuse Ireland, +complaining of the hardship her husband endured in being forced to go +thither in winter to look after his tenants. + +'What did you mean', said Clara, at last, 'by the sword hanging over +your head?' + +'I think I told you what I meant pretty plainly. If you did not +understand me I cannot tell you more plainly.' + +'It is odd that you should say so much, and not wish to say more.' + +'Ah! you are making your inquiries now.' + +'In my place would not you do so too? How can I help it when you +talked of a sword? Of course you make me ask what the sword is.' + +'And am I bound to satisfy your curiosity?' + +'You told me, just before my cousin came here, that if I asked any +question you would answer me.' + +'And I am to understand that you are asking such a question now?' + +'Yes if it will not offend you.' + +'But what if it will offend me offend me greatly? Who likes to be +inquired into?' + +'But you courted such inquiry from me.' + +'No, Clara, I did not do that. I'll tell you what I did. I gave you +to understand that if it was needful that you should hear about me +and my antecedents certain matters as to which Mr Belton had been +inquiring into in a manner that I thought to be most unjustifiable I +would tell you that story.' + +'And do so without being angry with me for asking.' + +'I meant, of course, that I would not make it a ground for +quarrelling with you. If I wished to tell you, I could do so without +any inquiry.' + +'I have sometimes thought that you did wish to tell me.' + +'Sometimes I have almost.' + +'But you have no such wish now?' + +'Can't you understand? It may well be that one so much alone as I am +living here without a female friend, or even acquaintance, except +yourself should often feel a longing for that comfort which full +confidence between us would give me.' + +'Then why not' + +'Stop a moment. Can't you understand that I may feel this, and yet +entertain the greatest horror against inquiry? We all like to tell +our own sorrows, but who likes to be inquired into? Many a woman +burns to make a full confession, who would be as mute as death before +a policeman.' + +'I am no policeman.' + +'But you are determined to ask a policeman's questions?' + +To this Clara made no immediate reply. She felt that she was acting +almost falsely in going on with such questions, while she was in fact +aware of all the circumstances which Mrs Askerton could tell but she +did not know how to declare her knowledge and to explain it. She +sincerely wished that Mrs Askerton should be made acquainted with the +truth; but she had fallen into a line of conversation which did not +make her own task easy. But the idea of her own hypocrisy was +distressing to her, and she rushed at the difficulty with hurried, +eager words, resolving that, at any rate, there should be no longer +any doubt between them. + +'Mrs Askerton,' she said, 'I know it all. There is nothing for you to +tell. I know what the sword is.' + +'What is it that you know?' + +'That you were married long ago to Mr Berdmore.' + +'Then Mr Belton did do me the honour of talking about me when he was +here?' As she said this she rose from her chair, and stood before +Clara with flashing eyes. + +'Not a word. He never mentioned your name, or the name of any one +belonging to you. I have heard it from another.' + +'From what other?' + +'I do not know that that signifies but I have learned it.' + +'Well and what next?' + +'I do not know what next. As so much has been told me, and as you had +said that I might ask you, I have come to you, yourself. I shall +believe your own story more thoroughly from yourself than from any +other teller.' + +'And suppose I refuse to answer you?' + +'Then I can say nothing further.' + +'And what will you do?' + +'Ah that I do not know. But you are harsh to me, while I am longing +to be kind to you. Can you not see that this has been all forced upon +me partly by yourself?' + +'And the other part who has forced that upon you? Who is your +informant? If you mean to be generous, be generous altogether. Is it +a man or a woman that has taken the trouble to rip up old sorrows +that my name may be blackened? But what matters? There I was married +to Captain Berdmore. I left him, and went away with my present +husband. For three years I was a man's mistress, and not his wife. +When that poor creature died we were married, and then came here. Now +you know it all all all though doubtless your informant has made a +better story of it. After that, perhaps, I have been very wicked to +sully the air you breathe by my presence.' + +'Why do you say that,--to me?' + +'But no;--you do not know it all. No one can ever know it all. No one +can ever know how I suffered before I was driven to escape, or how +good to me has been he who--who' Then she turned her back upon +Clara, and, walking off to the window, stood there, hiding the tears +which clouded her eyes, and concealing the sobs which choked her +utterance. + +For some moments,--for a space which seemed long to both of them,--Clara +kept her seat in silence. She hardly dared to speak; and though she +longed to show her sympathy, she knew not what to say. At last she +too rose and followed the other to the window. She uttered no words, +however, but gently putting her arm around Mrs Askerton's waist, +stood there close to her, looking out upon the cold wintry +flower-beds not venturing to turn her eyes upon her companion. The +motion of her arm was at first very gentle, but after a while she +pressed it closer, and thus by degrees drew her friend to her with an +eager, warm, and enduring pressure. Mrs Askerton made some little +effort towards repelling her, some faint motion of resistance; but as +the embrace became warmer the poor woman yielded herself to it, and +allowed her face to fall upon Clara's shoulder. So they stood, +speaking no word, making no attempt to rid themselves of the tears +which were blinding their eyes, but gazing out through the moisture +on the bleak wintry scene before them. Clara's mind was the more +active at the moment, for she was resolving that in this episode of +her life she would accept no lesson whatever from Lady Aylmer's +teaching no, nor any lesson whatever from the teaching of any Aylmer +in existence. And as for the world's rules, she would fit herself to +them as best she could; but no such fitting should drive her to the +unwomanly cruelty of deserting this woman whom she had known and +loved and whom she now loved with a fervour which she had never +before felt towards her. + +'You have heard it all now,' said Mrs Askerton at last. + +'And is it not better so?' + +'Ah I do not know. How should I know?' + +'Do you not know?' And as she spoke, Clara pressed her arm still +closer. 'Do you not know yet?' Then, turning herself half round, she +clasped the other woman full in her arms, and kissed her forehead and +her lips. + +'Do you not know yet?' + +'But you will go away, and people will tell you that you are wrong.' + +'What people?' said Clara, thinking as she spoke of the whole family +at Aylmer Park. + +'Your husband will tell you so.' + +'I have no husband as yet to order me what to think or what not to +think.' + +'No not quite as yet. But you will tell him all this.' + +'He knows it. It was he who told me.' + +'What! Captain Aylmer?' + +'Yes; Captain Aylmer.' + +'And what did he say?' + +'Never mind. Captain Aylmer is not my husband not as yet. If he takes +me, he must take me as I am, not as he might possibly have wished me +to be. Lady Aylmer--' + +'And does Lady Aylmer know it?' + +'Yes. Lady Aylmer is one of those hard, severe women who never +forgive.' + +'Ah, I see it all now. I understand it all. Clara, you must forget +me, and come here no more. You shall not be ruined because you are +generous.' + +'Ruined! If Lady Aylmer's displeasure can ruin me, I must put up with +ruin. I will not accept her for my guide. I am too old, and have had +my own way too long. Do not let that thought trouble you. In this +matter I shall judge for myself. I have judged for myself already.' + +'And your father?' + +'Papa knows nothing of it.' + +'But you will tell him?' + +'I do not know. Poor papa is very ill. If he were well I would tell +him, and he would think as I do.' + +'And your cousin?' + +'You say that he has heard it all.' + +'I think so. Do you know that I remembered him the first moment that +I saw him? But what could I do? When you mentioned to me my old name, +my real name, how could I be honest? I have been driven to do that +which has made honesty to me impossible. My life has been a lie; and +yet how could I help it? I must live somewhere and how could I live +anywhere without deceit?' + +'And yet that is so sad.' + +'Sad indeed! But what could I do? Of course I was wrong in the +beginning. Though how am I to regret it, when it has given me such a +husband as I have? Ah!--if you could know it all, I think,--I think you +would forgive me.' + +Then by degrees she told it all, and Clara was there for hours +listening to her story. The reader will not care to hear more of it +than he has heard. Nor would Clara have desired any closer +revelation; but as it is often difficult to obtain a confidence, so +is it impossible to stop it in the midst of its effusion. Mrs +Askerton told the history of her life of her first foolish +engagement, her belief, her half-belief, in the man's reformation, of +the miseries which resulted from his vices, of her escape and shame, +of her welcome widowhood, and of her second marriage. And as she told +it, she paused at every point to insist on the goodness of him who +was now her husband. 'I shall tell him this,' she said at last, 'as I +do everything; and then he will know that I have in truth got a +friend.' + +She asked again and again about Mr Belton, but Clara could only tell +her that she knew nothing of her cousin's knowledge. Will might have +heard it all, but if so he had kept his information to himself. + +'And now what shall you do?' Mrs Askerton asked of Clara, at length +prepared to go. + +'Do? in what way? I shall do nothing.' + +'But you will write to Captain Aylmer?' + +'Yes I shall write to him.' + +'And about this?' + +'Yes I suppose I must write to him.' + +'And what will you say?' + +'That I cannot tell. I wish I knew what to say. If it were to his +mother I could write my letter easily enough.' + +'And what would you say to her?' + +'I would tell her that I was responsible for my own friends. But I +must go now. Papa will complain that I am so long away.' Then there +was another embrace, and at last Clara found her way out of the house +and was alone again in the park. + +She clearly acknowledged to herself that she had a great difficulty +before her. She had committed herself altogether to Mrs Askerton, and +could no longer entertain any thought of obeying the very plainly +expressed commands which Captain Aylmer had given her. The story as +told by Captain Aylmer had been true throughout; but, in the teeth of +that truth, she intended to maintain her acquaintance with Mrs +Askerton. From that there was now no escape. She had been carried +away by impulse in what she had done and said at the cottage, but she +could not bring herself to regret it. She could not believe that it +was her duty to throw over and abandon a woman whom she loved, +because that woman had once, in her dire extremity, fallen away from +the path of virtue. But how was she to write the letter? + +When she reached her father he complained of her absence, and almost +scolded her for having been so long at the cottage. 'I cannot see', +said he, 'what you find in that woman to make so much of her.' + +'She is the only neighbour I have, papa.' + +'And better none than her, if all that people say of her is true.' + +'All that people say is never true, papa.' + +'There is no smoke without fire. I am not at all sure that it's good +for you to be so much with her.' + +'Oh, papa don't treat me like a child.' + +'And I'm sure it's not good for me that you should be so much away. +For anything I have seen of you all day you might have been at +Perivale. But you are going soon, altogether, so I suppose I may as +well make up my mind to it.' + +'I'm not going for a long time yet, papa.' + +'What do you mean by that?' + +'I mean that there's nothing to take me away from here at present.' + +'You are engaged to be married.' + +'But it will be a long engagement. It is one of those engagements in +which neither party is very anxious for an immediate change.' There +was something bitter in Clara's tone as she said this, which the old +man perceived, but could only half understand. Clara remained with +him then for the rest of the day, going down-stairs for five minutes +to her dinner, and then returning to him and reading aloud while he +dozed. Her winter evenings at Belton Castle were not very bright, but +she was used to them and made no complaint. + +When she left her father for the night she got out her desk and +prepared herself for her letter to her lover. She was determined that +it should be finished that night before she went to bed. And it was +so finished; though the writing of it gave her much labour, and +occupied her till the late hours had come upon her. When completed it +was as follows:-- + + +'Belton Castle, Thursday Night. + +'Dear Frederic,--I received your letter last Sunday, but I could not +answer it sooner, as it required much consideration, and also some +information which I have only obtained today. About the plan of +living at Perivale I will not say much now, as my mind is so full of +other things. I think, however, I may promise that I will never make +any needless difficulty as to your plans. My cousin Will left us on +Monday, so your mother need not have any further anxiety on that +head. It does papa good to have him here, and for that reason I am +sorry that he has gone. I can assure you that I don't think what you +said about him meant anything at all particular. Will is my nearest +cousin, and of course you would be glad that I should like him which +I do, very much. + +'And now about the other subject, which I own has distressed me, as +you supposed it would;--I mean about Mrs Askerton. I find it very +difficult in your letter to divide what comes from your mother and +what from yourself. Of course I want to make the division, as every +word from you has great weight with me. At present I don't know Lady +Aylmer personally, and I cannot think of her as I do of you. Indeed, +were I to know her ever so well, I could not have the same deference +for her that I have for the man who is to be my husband. I only say +this, as I fear that Lady Aylmer and I may not perhaps agree about +Mrs Askerton. + +'I find that your story about Mrs Askerton is in the main true. But +the person who told it you does not seem to have known any of the +provocations which she received. She was very badly treated by +Captain Berdmore, who, I am afraid, was a terrible drunkard; and at +last she found it impossible to stay with him. So she went away. I +cannot tell you how horrid it all was, but I am sure that if I could +make you understand it, it would go a long way in inducing you to +excuse her. She was married to Colonel Askerton as soon as Captain +Berdmore died, and this took place before she came to Belton. I hope +you will remember that. It all occurred out in India, and I really +hardly know what business we have to inquire about it now. + +'At any rate, as I have been acquainted with her a long time, and very +intimately, and as I am sure that she has repented of anything that +has been wrong, I do not think that I ought to quarrel with her now. +Indeed I have promised her that I will not. I think I owe it you to +tell you the whole truth, and that is the truth. + +'Pray give my regards to your mother, and tell her that I am sure she +would judge differently if she were in my place. This poor woman has +no other friend here; and who am I, that I should take upon myself to +condemn her? I cannot do it. Dear Frederic, pray do not be angry with +me for asserting my own will in this matter. I think you would wish +me to have an opinion of my own. In my present position I am bound to +have one, as I am, as yet, responsible for what I do myself. I shall +be very, very sorry, if I find that you differ from me; but still I +cannot be made to think that I am wrong. I wish you were here, that +we might talk it over together, as I think that in that case you +would agree with me. + +'If you can manage to come to us at Easter, or any other time when +Parliament does not keep you in London, we shall be so delighted to +see you. + +'Dear Frederic, +Yours very affectionately, + +'Clara Amedroz.' + + + +CHAPTER XIX + +MISS AMEDROZ HAS ANOTHER CHANCE + +It was on a Sunday morning that Clara's letter reached Aylmer Park, +and Frederic Aylmer found it on his plate as he took his place at the +breakfast-table. Domestic habits at Aylmer Park had grown with the +growth of years till they had become adamantine, and domestic habits +required prayers every morning at a quarter before nine o'clock. At +twenty minutes before nine Lady Aylmer would always be in the +dining-room to make the tea and open the post-bag, and as she was +always there alone, she knew more about other people's letters than +other people ever knew about hers. When these operations were over +she rang the bell, and the servants of the family, who by that time +had already formed themselves into line in the hail, would march in, +and settle themselves on benches prepared for them near the sideboard +which benches were afterwards carried away by the retiring +procession. Lady Aylmer herself always read prayers, as Sir Anthony +never appeared till the middle of breakfast. Belinda would usually +come down in a scurry as she heard her mother's bell, in such a way +as to put the army in the hail to some confusion; but Frederic +Aylmer, when he was at home, rarely entered the room till after the +service was over. At Perivale no doubt he was more strict in his +conduct; but then at Perivale he had special interests and influences +which were wanting to him at Aylmer Park. During those five minutes +Lady Aylmer would deal round the letters to the several plates of the +inmates of her house not without looking at the post-office marks +upon them; and on this occasion she had dealt a letter from Clara to +her son. + +The arrival of the letter was announced to Frederic Aylmer before he +took his seat. + +'Frederic,' said her ladyship, in her most portentous voice, 'I am +glad to say that at last there is a letter from Belton.' + +He made no immediate reply, but making his way slowly to his place, +took up the little packet, turned it over in his hand, and then put +it into his pocket. Having done this, he began very slowly with his +tea and egg. For three minutes his mother was contented to make, or +to pretend to make, some effort in the same direction. Then her +impatience became too much for her, and she began to question him. + +'Will you not read it, Frederic?' + +'Of course I shall, ma'am.' + +'But why not do so now, when you know how anxious we are?' + +'There are letters which one would sooner read in private.' + +'But when a matter is of so much importance--' said Belinda. + +'The importance, Bel, is to me, and not to you,' said her brother. + +'All we want to know is,' continued the sister, 'that she promises to +be guided by you in this matter; and of course we feel quite sure +that she will.' + +'If you are quite sure that must be sufficient for you.' + +'I really think you need not quarrel with your sister,' said Lady +Aylmer, 'because she is anxious as to the--the respectability, I must +say, for there is no other word, of a young lady whom you propose to +make your wife. I can assure you that I am very anxious myself,--very +anxious indeed.' + +Captain Aylmer made no answer to this, but he did not take the letter +from his pocket. He drank his tea in silence, and in silence sent up +his cup to be refilled. In silence also was it returned to him. He +ate his two eggs and his three bits of toast, according to his +custom, and when he had finished, sat out his three or four minutes +as was usual. Then he got up to retire to his room, with the envelope +still unbroken in his pocket. + +'You will go to church with us, I suppose?' said Lady Aylmer. + +'I won't promise, ma'am; but if I do, I'll walk across the park so +that you need not wait for me.' + +Then both the mother and sister knew that the Member for Perivale did +not intend to go to church on that occasion. To morning service Sir +Anthony always went, the habits of Aylmer Park having in them more of +adamant in reference to him than they had as regarded his son. + +When the father, mother, and daughter returned, Captain Aylmer had +read his letter, and had, after doing so, received further tidings +from Belton Castle further tidings which for the moment prevented the +necessity of any reference to the letter, and almost drove it from +his own thoughts. When his mother entered the library he was standing +before the fire with a scrap of paper in his hand. + +'Since you have been at church there has come a telegraphic message,' +he said. + +'What is it, Frederic? Do not frighten me if you can avoid it!' + +'You need not be frightened, ma'am, for you did not know him. Mr +Amedroz is dead.' + +'No!' said Lady Aylmer, seating herself. + +'Dead!' said Belinda, holding up her hands. + +'God bless my soul!' said the baronet, who had now followed the +ladies into the room. 'Dead! Why, Fred, he was five years younger +than I am!' + +Then Captain Aylmer read the words of the message:--'Mr Amedroz died +this morning at five o'clock. I have sent word to the lawyer and to +Mr Belton.' + +'Who does it come from?' asked Lady Aylmer. + +'From Colonel Askerton.' + +Lady Aylmer paused, and shook her head, and moved her foot uneasily +upon the carpet. The tidings, as far as they went, might be +unexceptionable, but the source from whence they had come had +evidently polluted them in her ladyship's judgment. Then she uttered +a series of inter-ejaculations, expressions of mingled sorrow and +anger. + +'There was no one else near her,' said Captain Aylmer apologetically. + +'Is there no clergyman in the parish?' + +'He lives a long way off. The message had to be sent at once.' + +'Are there no servants in the house? It looks,--it looks-- But I am +the last person in the world to form a harsh judgment of a young +woman at such a moment as this. What did she say in her letter, +Fred?' + +Captain Aylmer had devoted two hours of consideration to the letter +before the telegram had come to relieve his mind by a fresh subject, +and in those two hours he had not been able to extract much of +comfort out of the document. It was, as he felt, a stubborn, +stiff-necked, disobedient, almost rebellious letter. It contained a +manifest defiance of his mother, and exhibited doctrines of most +questionable morality. It had become to him a matter of doubt whether +he could possibly marry a woman who could entertain such ideas and +write such a letter. If the doubt was to be decided in his own mind +against Clara, he had better show the letter at once to his mother, +and allow her ladyship to fight the battle for him a task which, as +he well knew, her ladyship would not be slow to undertake. But he had +not succeeded in answering the question satisfactorily to himself +when the telegram arrived and diverted all his thoughts. Now that Mr +Amedroz was dead, the whole thing might be different. Clara would +come away from Belton and Mrs Askerton, and begin life, as it were, +afresh It seemed as though in such an emergency she ought to have +another chance; and therefore he did not hasten to pronounce his +judgment. Lady Aylmer also felt something of this, and forbore to +press her question when it was not answered. + +'She will have to leave Belton now, I suppose?' said Sir Anthony. + +'The property will belong to a distant cousin a Mr William Belton.' + +'And where will she go?' said Lady Aylmer. 'I suppose she has no +place that she can call her home?' + +'Would it not be a good thing to ask her here?' said Belinda. Such a +question as that was very rash on the part of Miss Aylmer. In the +first place, the selection of guests for Aylmer Park was rarely left +to her; and in this special case she should have understood that such +a proposal should have been fully considered by Lady Aylmer before it +reached Frederic's ears. + +'I think it would be a very good plan,' said Captain Aylmer, +generously. + +Lady Aylmer shook her head. 'I should like much to know what she has +said about that unfortunate connexion before I offer to take her by +the hand myself. I'm sure Fred will feel that I ought to do so.' + +But Fred retreated from the room without showing the letter. He +retreated from the room and betook himself to solitude, that he might +again endeavour to make up his mind as to what he would do. He put on +his hat and his great-coat and gloves, and went off without his +luncheon that he might consider it all. Clara Amedroz had now no home +and, indeed, very little means of providing one. If he intended that +she should be his wife, he must furnish her with a home at once. It +seemed to him that three houses might possibly be open to her of +which one, the only one which under such circumstances would be +proper, was Aylmer Park. The other two were Plaistow Hall and Mrs +Askerton's cottage at Belton. As to the latter should she ever take +shelter there, everything must be over between him and her. On that +point there could be no doubt. He could not bring himself to marry a +wife out of Mrs Askerton's drawing-room, nor could he expect his +mother to receive a young woman brought into the family under such +circumstances. And Plaistow Hall was almost as bad. It was as bad to +him, though it would, perhaps, be less objectionable in the eyes of +Lady Aylmer. Should Clara go to Plaistow Hall there must be an end to +everything. Of that also he taught himself to be quite certain. Then +he took out Clara's letter and read it again. She acknowledged the +story about the woman to be true such a story as it was too and yet +refused to quarrel with the woman had absolutely promised the woman +not to quarrel with her! Then he read and re-read the passage in +which Clara claimed the right of forming her own opinion in such +matters. Nothing could be more indelicate nothing more unfit for his +wife. He began to think that he had better show the letter to his +mother, and acknowledge that the match must be broken off. That +softening of his heart which had followed upon the receipt of the +telegraphic message departed from him as he dwelt upon the stubborn, +stiff-necked, unfeminine obstinacy of the letter. Then he remembered +that nothing had as yet been done towards putting his aunt's fifteen +hundred pounds absolutely into Clara's hands; and he remembered also +that she might at the present moment be in great want. William Belton +might, not improbably, assist her in her want, and this idea was +wormwood to him in spite of his almost formed resolution to give up +his own claims. He calculated that the income arising from fifteen +hundred pounds would be very small, and he wished that he had +counselled his aunt to double the legacy. He thought very much about +the amount of the money and the way in which it might be beat +expended, and was, after his cold fashion, really solicitous as to +Clara's welfare. If he could have fashioned her future life, and his +own too, in accordance with his own now existing wishes, I think he +would have arranged that neither of them should marry at all, and +that to him should be assigned the duty and care of being Clara's +protector with full permission to tell her his mind as often as he +pleased on the subject of Mrs Askerton. Then he went in and wrote a +note to Mr Green, the lawyer, desiring that the interest of the +fifteen hundred pounds for one year might be at once remitted to Miss +Amedroz. He knew that he ought to write to her himself immediately, +without loss of a post; but how was he to write while things were in +their present position? Were he now to condole with her on her +father's death, without any reference to the great Askerton iniquity, +he would thereby be condoning all that was past, and acknowledging +the truth and propriety of her arguments. And he would be doing even +worse than that. He would be cutting the ground absolutely from +beneath his own feet as regarded that escape from his engagement +which he was contemplating. + +What a cold-hearted, ungenerous wretch he must have been! That will +be the verdict against him. But the verdict will be untrue. +Cold-hearted and ungenerous he was; but he was no wretch as men and +women are now-a-days called wretches. He was chilly hearted, but yet +quite capable of enough love to make him a good son, a good husband, +and a good father too. And though he was ungenerous from the nature +of his temperament, he was not close-fisted or over covetous. And he +was a just man, desirous of obtaining nothing that was not fairly his +own. But, in truth, the artists have been so much in the habit of +painting for us our friends' faces without any of those flaws and +blotches with which work and high living are apt to disfigure us, +that we turn in disgust from a portrait in which the roughnesses and +pimples are made apparent. + +But it was essential that he should now do something, and before he +sat down to dinner he did show Clara's letter to his mother. 'Mother,' +he said, as he sat himself down in her little room upstairs;--and +she knew well by the tone of his voice, and by the mode of his address, +that there was to be a solemn occasion, and a serious deliberative +council on the present existing family difficulty,--'mother, of course +I have intended to let you know what is the nature of Clara's answer +to my letter.' + +'I am glad there is to be no secret between us, Frederic. You know +how I dislike secrets in families.' As she said this she took the +letter out of her son's hands with an eagerness that was almost +greedy. As she read it, he stood over her, watching her eyes, as they +made their way down the first page and on to the second, and across +to the third, and so, gradually on, till the whole reading was +accomplished. What Clara had written about her Cousin Will, Lady +Aylmer did not quite understand; and on this point now she was so +little anxious that she passed over that portion of the letter +readily. But when she came to Mrs Askerton and the allusions to +herself, she took care to comprehend the meaning and weight of every +word. 'Divide your words and mine! Why should we want to divide them? +Not agree with me about Mrs Askerton! How is it possible that any +decent young woman should not agree with me! It is a matter in which +there is no room for a doubt. True the story true! Of course it is +true. Does she not know that it would not have reached her from +Aylmer Park if it were not true? Provocation! Badly treated! Went +away! Married to Colonel Askerton as soon as Captain Berdmore died! +Why, Frederic, she cannot have been taught to understand the first +principle of morals in life! And she that was so much with my poor +sister! Well, well!' The reader should understand that the late Mrs +Winterfield and Lady Aylmer had never been able to agree with each +other on religious subjects. 'Remember that they are married. Why +should we remember anything of the kind? It does not make an atom of +difference to the woman's character. Repented! How can Clara say +whether she has repented or not? But that has nothing to do with it. +Not quarrel with her as she calls it! Not give her up! Then, +Frederic, of course it must be all over, as far as you are +concerned.' When she had finished her reading, she returned the +letter, still open, to her son, shaking her head almost triumphantly. +As far as I am a judge of a young woman's character, I can only give +you one counsel,' said Lady Aylmer solemnly. + +'I think that she should have another chance,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'What other chance can you give her? It seems to me that she is +obstinately bent on her own destruction.' + +'You might ask her to come here, as Belinda suggested.' + +'Belinda was very foolish to suggest anything of the kind without +more consideration.' + +'I suppose that my future wife would be made welcome here?' + +'Yes, Frederic, certainly. I do not know who could be more welcome. +But is she to be your wife?' + +'We are engaged.' + +'But does not that letter break any engagement? Is there not enough +in that to make such a marriage quite out of the question? What do +you think about it yourself, Frederic?' + +'I think that she should have another chance.' + +What would Clara have thought of all this herself if she could have +heard the conversation between Lady Aylmer and her betrothed husband, +and have known that her lover was proposing to give her 'another +chance?' But it is lucky for us that we seldom know what our best +friends say on our behalf, when they discuss us and our faults behind +our backs. + +'What chance, Frederic, can she have? She knows all about this horrid +woman, and yet refuses to give her up! What chance can she have after +that?' + +'I think that you might have her here and talk to her.' Lady Aylmer, +in answer to this, simply shook her head. And I think she was right +in supposing that such shaking of her head was a sufficient reply to +her son's proposition. What talking could possibly be of service to +such a one as this Miss Amedroz? Why should she throw her pearls +before swine? 'We must either ask her to come here, or else I must go +to her,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'I don't see that at all, Frederic.' + +'I think it must be so. As she is situated at present she has got no +home; and I think it would be very horrid that she should be driven +into that woman's house, simply because she has no other shelter for +her head.' + +'I suppose she can remain where she is for the present?' + +'She is all alone, you know; and it must be very gloomy;--and her +cousin can turn her out at a moment's notice.' + +'But that would not entitle her to come here, unless--' + +'No;--I quite understand that. But you cannot wonder that I should +feel the hardship of her position.' + +'Who is to be blamed if it be hard? You see, Frederic, I take my +standing upon that letter her own letter. How am I to ask a young +woman into my house who declares openly that my opinion on such a +matter goes for nothing with her? How am I to do it? That's what I +ask you. How am I to do it? It's all very well for Belinda to suggest +this and that. But how am I to do it? That's what I want to know.' + +But at last Lady Aylmer managed to answer the question for herself, +and did do it. But this was not done on that Sunday afternoon, nor on +the Monday, nor on the Tuesday. The question was closely debated, and +at last the anxious mother perceived that the giving of the +invitation would be more safe than withholding it. Captain Aylmer at +last expressed his determination to go to Belton unless the +invitation were given; and then, should he do that, there might be +danger that he would never be again seen at Aylmer Park till he +brought Clara Amedroz with him as his wife. The position was one of +great difficulty, but the interests at stake were so immense that +something must be risked. It might be that Clara would not come when +invited, and in that case her obstinacy would be a great point +gained. And if she did come--! Well; Lady Aylmer admitted to herself +that the game would be difficult,--difficult and very troublesome; but +yet it might be played, and perhaps won. Lady Aylmer was a woman who +had great confidence in herself. Not so utterly had victory in such +contests deserted her hands, that she need fear to break a lance with +Miss Amedroz beneath her own roof, when the occasion was so pressing. + +The invitation was therefore sent in a note written by herself, and +was enclosed in a letter from her son. After much consultation and +many doubts on the subject, it was at last agreed that nothing +further should now be urged about Mrs Askerton. 'She shall have her +chance,' said Lady Aylmer over and over again, repeating her son's +words. 'She shall have her chance.' Lady Aylmer, therefore, in her +note, confined herself strictly to the giving of the invitation, and +to a suggestion that, as Clara had now no settled home of her own, a +temporary sojourn at Aylmer Park might be expedient. And Captain +Aylmer in his letter hardly said much more. He knew, as he wrote the +words, that they were cold and comfortless, and that he ought on such +an occasion to have written words that should have been warm at any +rate, even though they might not have contained comfort. But, to have +written with affection, he should have written at once, and he had +postponed his letter from the Sunday till the Wednesday. It had been +absolutely necessary that that important question as to the +invitation should be answered before he could write at all. + +When all this was settled he went up to London; and there was an +understanding between him and his mother that he should return to +Aylmer Park with Clara, in the event of her acceptance of the +invitation. + +'You won't go down to Belton for her?' said the mother. + +'No I do not think that will be necessary,' said the son. + +'I should think not,' said the mother. + + + +CHAPTER XX + +WILLIAM BELTON DOES NOT GO OUT HUNTING + +WE will now follow the other message which was sent down into +Norfolk, and which did not get into Belton's hands till the Monday +morning. He was sitting with his sister at breakfast, and was +prepared for hunting, when the paper was brought into the room. +Telegraphic messages were not very common at Plaistow Hall, and on +the arrival of any that had as yet reached that house, something of +that awe had been felt with which such missives were always +accompanied in their earliest days. 'A telegruff message, mum, for Mr +William,' said the maid, looking at her mistress with eyes opened +wide, as she handed the important bit of paper to her master. Will +opened it rapidly, laying down the knife and fork with which he was +about to operate upon a ham before him. He was dressed in boots and +breeches, and a scarlet coat in which garb he was, in his sister's +eyes, the most handsome man in Norfolk. + +'Oh, Mary!' he exclaimed. + +'What is it, Will?' + +'Mr Amedroz is dead.' + +Miss Belton put out her hand for the paper before she spoke again, as +though she could better appreciate the truth of what she heard when +reading it herself on the telegraph slip than she had done from her +brother's words. 'How sudden! how terribly sudden!' she said. + +'Sudden indeed. When I left him he was not well, certainly, but I +should have said that he might have lived for twenty years. Poor old +man! I can hardly say why it was so, but I had taken a liking to +him.' + +'You take a liking to everybody, Will.' + +'No I don't. I know people I don't like.' Will Belton as he said this +was thinking of Captain Aylmer, and he pressed the heel of his boot +hard against the floor. + +'And Mr Amedroz is dead! It seems to be so terribly sudden. What will +she do, Will?' + +'That's what I'm thinking about.' + +'Of course you are, my dear. I can see that. I wish I wish' + +'It's no good wishing anything, Mary. I don't think wishing ever did +any good yet. If I might have my wish, I shouldn't know how to have +it.' + +'I was wishing that you didn't think so much about it.' + +'You need not be troubled about me. I shall do very well. But what is +to become of her now at once? Might she not come here? You are now +the nearest female relation that she has.' + +Mary looked at him with her anxious, painful eyes, and he knew by her +look that she did not approve of his plan. 'I could go away,' he +continued. 'She could come to you without being troubled by seeing +me.' + +'And where would you go, Will?' + +'What does it matter? To the devil, I suppose.' + +'Oh, Will, Will!' + +'You know what I mean. I'd go anywhere. Where is she to find a home +till,--till she is married?' He had paused at the word; but was +determined not to shrink from it, and bolted it out in a loud, sharp +tone so that both he and she recognized all the meaning of the word +all that was conveyed in the idea. He hated himself when he +endeavoured to conceal from his own mind any of the misery that was +coming upon him. He loved her. He could not get over it. The passion +was on him like a palsy, for the shaking off of which no sufficient +physical energy was left to him. It clung to him in his goings out +and comings in with a painful, wearing tenacity, against which he +would now and again struggle, swearing that it should be so no longer +but against which he always struggled in vain. It was with him when +he was hunting. He was ever thinking of it when the bird rose before +his gun. As he watched the furrow, as his men and horses would drive +it straight and deep through the ground, he was thinking of her and +not of the straightness and depth of the furrow, as had been his wont +in former years. Then he would turn away his f toe, and stand alone +in his field, blinded by the salt drops in his eyes, weeping at his +own weakness. And when he was quite alone, he would stamp his foot on +the ground, and throw abroad his arms, and curse himself. What +Nessus's shirt was this that had fallen upon him, and unmanned him +from the sole of his foot to the top of his head? He went through the +occupations of the week. He hunted, and shot, and gave his orders, +and paid his men their wages but he did it all with a palsy of love +upon him as he did it. He wanted her, and he could not overcome the +want. He could not bear to confess to himself that the thing by which +he had set so much store could never belong to him. His sister +understood it all, and sometimes he was almost angry with her because +of her understanding it. She sympathized with him in all his moods, +and sometimes he would shake away her sympathy as though it scalded +him. 'Where is she to find a home till till she is married?' he said. + +Not a word had as yet been said between them about the property which +was now his estate. He was now Belton of Belton, and it must be +supposed that both he and she had remembered that it was so. But +hitherto not a word had been said between them on that point. Now she +was compelled to allude to it. 'Cannot she live at the Castle for the +present? + +'What all alone?' + +'Of course she is remaining there now.' + +'Yes,' said he, 'of course she is there now. Now! Why, remember what +these telegraphic messages are. He died only on yesterday morning. Of +course she is there, but I do not think it can be good that she +should remain there. There is no one near her where she is but that +Mrs Askerton. It can hardly be good for her to have no other female +friend at such a time as this.' + +'I do not think that Mrs Askerton will hurt her.' + +'Mrs Askerton will not hurt her at all,--and as long as Clara does not +know the story, Mrs Askerton may serve as well as another. But yet--' + +'Can I go to her, Will?' + +'No, dearest. The journey would kill you in winter. And he would not +like it. We are bound to think of that for her sake cold-hearted, +thankless, meagre-minded creature as I know he is.' + +'I do not know why he should be so bad.' + +'No, nor I. But I know that he is. Never mind. Why should we talk +about him? I suppose she'll have to go there to Aylmer Park. I +suppose they will send for her, and keep her there till it's all +finished. I'll tell you what, Mary I shall give her the place.' + +'What Belton Castle?' + +'Why not? Will it ever be of any good to you or me? Do you want to go +and live there?' + +'No, indeed not for myself.' + +'And do you think that I could live there? Besides why should she be +turned out of her father's house?' + +'He would not be mean enough to take it.' + +'He would be mean enough for anything. Besides, I should take very +good care that it should be settled upon her.' + +'That's nonsense, Will it is indeed. You are now William Belton of +Belton, and you must remain so.' + +'Mary,--I would sooner be Will Belton with Clara Amedroz by my side to +get through the world with me, and not the interest of an acre either +at Belton Castle or at Plaistow Hall! And I believe I should be the +richer man at the end if there were any good in that.' Then he went +out of the room, and she heard him go through the kitchen, and knew +that he passed out into the farm-yard, towards the stable, by the +back-door. He intended, it seemed, to go on with his hunting in spite +of this death which had occurred. She was sorry for it, but she could +not venture to stop him. And she was sorry also that nothing had been +settled as to the writing of any letter to Clara. She, however, would +take upon herself to write while he was gone. + +He went straight out towards the stables, hardly conscious of what he +was doing or where he was going, and found his hack ready saddled for +him in the stall. Then he remembered that he must either go or come +to some decision that he would not go. The horse that he intended to +ride had been sent on to the meet, and if he were not to be used, +some message must be dispatched as to the animal's return. But Will +was half inclined to go, although he knew that the world would judge +him to be heartless if he were to go hunting immediately on the +receipt of the tidings which had reached him that morning. He thought +that he would like to set the world at defiance in this matter. Let +Frederic Aylmer go into mourning for the old man who was dead. Let +Frederic Aylmer be solicitous for the daughter who was left lonely in +the old house. No doubt he, Will Belton, had inherited the dead +man's estate, and should, therefore, in accordance with all the +ordinary rules of the world on such matters, submit himself at any +rate to the decency of funereal reserve. An heir should not be seen +out hunting on the day on which such tidings as to his heritage had +reached him. But he did not wish, in his present mood, to be +recognized as the heir. He did not want the property. He would have +preferred to rid himself altogether of any of the obligations which +the ownership of the estate entailed upon him. It was not permitted +to him to have the custody of the old squire's daughter, and +therefore he was unwilling to meddle with any of the old squire's +concerns. + +Belton had gone into the stable, and had himself loosed the animal, +leading him out into the yard as though he were about to mount him. +Then he had given the reins to a stable boy, and had walked away +among the farm buildings, not thinking of what he was doing. The lad +stood staring at him with open mouth, not at all understanding his +master's hesitation. The meet, as the boy knew, was fourteen miles +off, and Belton had not allowed himself above an hour and a half for +the journey. It was his practice to jump into the saddle and bustle +out of the place, as though seconds were important to him. He would +look at his watch with accuracy, and measure his pace from spot to +spot, as though minutes were too valuable to be lost. But now he +wandered away like one distraught, and the stable boy knew that +something was wrong. 'I thout he was a thinken of the white cow as +choked 'erself with the tunnup that was skipped in the chopping,' +said the boy, as he spoke of his master afterwards to the old groom. +At last, however, a thought seemed to strike Belton. 'Do you get on +Brag,' he said to the boy, 'and ride off to Goldingham Corner, and +tell Daniel to bring the horse home again. I shan't hunt today. And I +think I shall go away from home. If so, tell him to be sure the +horses are out every morning and tell him to stop their beans. I +mightn't hunt again for the next month.' Then he returned into the +house, and went to the parlour in which his sister was sitting. 'I +shan't go out today,' he said. + +'I thought you would not, Will,' she answered. + +'Not that I see any harm in it.' + +'I don't say that there is any harm, but it is as well on such +occasions to do as others do.' + +'That's humbug, Mary.' + +'No, Will; I do not think that. When any practice has become the +fixed rule of the society in which we live, it is always wise to +adhere to that rule, unless it call upon us to do something that is +actually wrong. One should not offend the prejudices of the world, +even if one is quite sure that they are prejudices.' + +'It hasn't been that that has brought me back, Mary. I'll tell you +what. I think I'll go down to Belton after all.' + +His sister did not know what to say in answer to this. Her chief +anxiety was, of course, on behalf of her brother. That he should be +made to forget Clara Amedroz, if that were only possible, was her +great desire; and his journey at such a time as this down to Belton +was not the way to accomplish such forgetting. And then she felt that +Clara might very possibly not wish to see him. Had Will simply been +her cousin, such a visit might be very well; but he had attempted to +be more than her cousin, and therefore it would probably not be well. +Captain Aylmer might not like it; and Mary felt herself bound to +consider even Captain Aylmer's likings in such a matter. And yet she +could not bear to oppose him in anything. 'It would be a very long +journey,' she said. + +'What does that signify?' + +'And then it might so probably be for nothing.' + +'Why should it be for nothing?' + +'Because--' + +'Because what? Why don't you speak out? You need not be afraid of +hurting me. Nothing that you can say can make it at all worse than it +is.' + +'Dear Will, I wish I could make it better.' + +'But you can't. Nobody can make it either better or worse. I promised +her once before that I would go to her when she might be in trouble, +and I will be as good as my word. I said I would be a brother to +her;--and so I will. So help me God, I will!' Then he rushed out of the +room, striding through the door as though he would knock it down, and +hurried upstairs to his own chamber. When there he stripped himself +of his hunting things, and dressed himself again with all the +expedition in his power; and then he threw a heap of clothes into a +large portmanteau, and set himself to work packing as though +everything in the world were to depend upon his catching a certain +train. And he went to a locked drawer, and taking out a cheque-book, +folded it up and put it into his pocket. Then he rang the bell +violently; and as he was locking the portmanteau, pressing down the +lid with all his weight and all his strength, he ordered that a +certain mare should be put into a certain dog-cart and that somebody +might be ready to drive over with him to the Downham Station. Within +twenty minutes of the time of his rushing upstairs he appeared again +before his sister with a greatcoat on, and a railway rug hanging over +his arm. 'Do you mean that you are going today?' said she. + +'Yes. I'll catch the 11.40 up-train at Downham. What's the good of +going unless I go at once? If I can be of any use it will be at the +first. It may be that she will have nobody there to do anything for +her.' + +'There is the clergyman, and Colonel Askerton even if Captain Aylmer +has not gone down.' + +'The clergyman and Colonel Askerton are nothing to her. And if that +man is there I can come back again.' + +'You will not quarrel with him?' + +'Why should I quarrel with him? What is there to quarrel about? I'm +not such a fool as to quarrel with a man because I hate him. If he is +there I shall see her for a minute or two, and then I shall come +back.' + +'I know it is no good my trying to dissuade you.' + +'None on earth. If you knew it all you would not try to dissuade me. +Before I thought of asking her to be my wife and yet I thought of +that very soon but before I ever thought of that, I told her that +when she wanted a brother's help I would give it her. Of course I was +thinking of the property that she shouldn't be turned out of her +father's house like a beggar. I hadn't any settled plan then how +could I? But I meant her to understand that when her father died I +would be the same to her that I am to you. If you were alone, in +distress, would I not go to you?' + +'But I have no one else, Will,' said she, stretching out her hand to +him where he stood. + +'That makes no difference,' he replied, almost roughly. A promise is +a promise, and I resolved from the first that my promise should hold +good in spite of my disappointment. Dear, dear it seems but the other +day when I made it and now, already, everything is changed.' As he +was speaking the servant entered the room, and told him that the +horse and gig were ready for him. 'I shall just do it nicely,' said +he, looking at his watch. 'I have over an hour. God bless you, Mary. +I shan't be away long. You may be sure of that.' + +'I don't suppose you can tell as yet, Will.' + +'What should keep me long? I shall see Green as I go by, and that is +half of my errand. I dare say I shan't stay above a night down in +Somersetshire.' + +'You'll have to give some orders about the estate.' + +'I shall not say a word on the subject to anybody; that is, not to +anybody there. I am going to look after her, and not the estate.' +Then he stooped down and kissed his sister, and in another minute was +turning the corner out of the farm-yard on to the road at a quick +pace, not losing a foot of ground in the turn, in that fashion of +rapidity which the horses at Plaistow Hall soon learned from their +master. The horse is a closely sympathetic beast, and will make his +turns, and do his trottings, and comport himself generally in strict +unison with the pulsation of his master's heart. When a horse won't +jump it is generally the case that the inner man is declining to jump +also, let the outer man seem ever so anxious to accomplish the feat. + +Belton, who was generally very communicative with his servants, +always talking to any man he might have beside him in his dog-cart +about the fields and cattle and tillage around him, said not a word +to the boy who accompanied him on this occasion. He had a good many +things to settle in his mind before he got to London, and he began +upon the work as soon as he had turned the corner out of the +farm-yard. As regarded this Belton estate, which was now altogether +his own, he had always had doubts and qualms qualms of feeling rather +than of conscience; and he had, also, always entertained a strong +family ambition. His people, ever so far back, had been Beltons of +Belton. They told him that his family could be traced back to very +early days before the Plantagenets, as he believed, though on this +point of the subject he was very hazy in his information and he liked +the idea of being the man by whom the family should be reconstructed +in its glory. Worldly circumstances had been so kind to him, that he +could take up the Belton estate with more of the prestige of wealth +than had belonged to any of the owners of the place for many years +past. Should it come to pass that living there would be desirable, he +could rebuild the old house, and make new gardens, and fit himself +out with all the pleasant braveries of a well-to-do English squire. +There need be no pinching and scraping, no question whether a +carriage would be possible, no doubt as to the prudence of preserving +game. All this had given much that was delightful to his prospects. +And he had, too, been instigated by a somewhat weak desire to emerge +from that farmer's rank into which he knew that many connected with +him had supposed him to have sunk. It was true that he farmed land +that was half his own and that, even at Plaistow, he was a wealthy +man; but Plaistow Hall, with all its comforts, was a farm-house; and +the ambition to be more than a farmer had been strong upon him. + +But then there had been the feeling that in taking the Belton estate +he would be robbing his Cousin Clara of all that should have been +hers. It must be remembered that he had not been brought up in the +belief that he would ever become the owner of Belton. All his high +ambition in that matter had originated with the wretched death of +Clara's brother. Could he bring himself to take it all with pleasure, +seeing that it came to him by so sad a chance by a catastrophe so +deplorable? When he would think of this, his mind would revolt from +its own desires, and he would declare to himself that his inheritance +would come to him with a stain of blood upon it. He, indeed, would +have been guiltless; but how could he take his pleasure in the shades +of Belton without thinking of the tragedy which had given him the +property? Such had been the thoughts and desires, mixed in their +nature and militating against each other, which had induced him to +offer his first visit to his cousin's house. We know what was the +effect of that visit, and by what pleasant scheme he had endeavoured +to overcome all his difficulties, and so to become master of Belton +that Clara Amedroz should also be its mistress. There had been a way +which, after two days' intimacy with Clara, seemed to promise him +comfort and happiness on all sides. But he had come too late, and +that way was closed against him! Now the estate was his, and what was +he to do with it? Clara belonged to his rival, and in what way would +it become him to treat her? He was still thinking simply of the +cruelty of the circumstances which had thrown Captain Aylmer between +him and his cousin, when he drove himself up to the railway station +at Downham. + +'Take her back steady, Jem,' he said to the boy. + +'I'll be sure to take her wery steady,' Jem answered, 'and tell +Compton to have the samples of barley ready for me. I may be back any +day, and we shall be sowing early this spring.' + +Then he left his cart, followed the porter who had taken his luggage +eagerly, knowing that Mr Belton was always good for sixpence, and in +five minutes' time he was again in motion. + +On his arrival in London he drove at once to the chambers of his +friend, Mr Green, and luckily found the lawyer there. Had he missed +doing this, it was his intention to go out to his friend's house; and +in that case he could not have gone down to Taunton till the next +morning; but now he would be able to say what he wished to say, and +hear what he wished to hear, and would travel down by the night-mail +train. He was anxious that Clara should feel that he had hurried to +her without a moment's delay. It would do no good. He knew that. +Nothing that he could do would alter her, or be of any service to +him. She had accepted this man, and had herself no power of making a +change, even if she should wish it. But still there was to him +something of gratification in the idea that she should be made to +feel that he, Belton, was more instant in his affection, more urgent +in his good offices, more anxious to befriend her in her +difficulties, than the man whom she had consented to take for her +husband. Aylmer would probably go down to Belton, but Will was very +anxious to be the first on the ground very anxious though his doing +so could be of no use. All this was wrong on his part. He knew that +it was wrong, and he abused himself for his own selfishness. But such +self-abuse gave him no aid in escaping from his own wickedness. He +would, if possible, be at Belton before Captain Aylmer; and he would, +if possible, make Clara feel that, though he was not a Member of +Parliament, though he was not much given to books, though he was only +a farmer, yet he had at any rate as much heart and spirit as the fine +gentleman whom she preferred to him. + +'I thought I should see you,' said the lawyer; 'but I hardly expected +you so soon as this.' + +'I ought to have been a day sooner, only we don't get our telegraphic +messages on a Sunday.' + +He still kept his greatcoat on; and it seemed by his manner that he +had no intention of staying where he was above a minute or two. + +'You'll come out and dine with me today?' said Mr Green. + +'I can't do that, for I shall go down by the mail train.' + +'I never saw such a fellow in my life. What good will that do? It is +quite right that you should be there in time for the funeral; but I +don't suppose he will be buried before this day week.' + +But Belton had never thought about the funeral. When he had spoken to +his sister of saying but a few words to Clara and then returning, he +had forgotten that there would be any such ceremony, or that he would +be delayed by any such necessity. + +'I was not thinking about the funeral,' said Belton. 'You'll only +find yourself uncomfortable there.' + +'Of course I shall be uncomfortable.' + +'You can't do anything about the property, you know.' + +'What do you mean by doing anything?' said Belton, in an angry tone. + +'You can't very well take possession of the place, at any rate, till +after the funeral. It would not be considered the proper thing to +do.' + +'You think, then, that I'm a bird of prey, smelling the feast from +afar off, and hurrying at the dead man's carcase as soon as the +breath is out of his body?' + +'I don't think anything of the kind, my dear fellow.' + +'Yes, you do, or you wouldn't talk to me about doing the proper +thing! I don't care a straw about the proper thing! If I find that +there's anything to be done tomorrow that can be of any use, I shall +do it, though all Somersetshire should think it improper! But I'm not +going to look after my own interests!' + +'Take off your coat and sit down, Will, and don't look angry at me. I +know that you're not greedy, well enough. Tell me what you are going +to do, and let me see if I can help you.' + +Belton did as he was told; he pulled off his coat and sat himself +down by the fire. 'I don't know that you can do anything to help me +at least, not as yet. But I must go and see after her. Perhaps she +may be all alone.' + +'I suppose she is all alone.' + +'He hasn't gone down, then?' + +'Who Captain Aylmer? No he hasn't gone down, certainly. He is in +Yorkshire.' + +'I'm glad of that!' + +'He won't hurry himself. He never does, I fancy. I had a letter from +him this morning about Miss Amedroz.' + +'And what did he say?' + +'He desired me to send her seventy-five pounds the interest of her +aunt's money.' + +'Seventy-five pounds!' said Will Belton, contemptuously. + +'He thought she might want money at once; and I sent her the cheque +today. It will go down by the same train that carries you.' + +'Seventy-five pounds! And you are sure that he has not gone himself?' + +'It isn't likely that he should have written to me, and passed +through London himself, at the same time but it is possible, no +doubt. I don't think he even knew the old squire; and there is no +reason why he should go to the funeral.' + +'No reason at all,' said Belton who felt that Captain Aylmer's +presence at the Castle would be an insult to himself. 'I don't know +what on earth he should do there except that I think him just the +fellow to intrude where he is not wanted.' And yet Will was in his +heart despising Captain Aylmer because he had not already hurried +down to the assistance of the girl whom he professed to love. + +'He is engaged to her, you know,' said the lawyer, in a low voice. + +'What difference does that make with such a fellow as he is a +cold-blooded fish of a man, who thinks of nothing in the world but +being respectable? Engaged to her! Oh, damn him!' + +'I've not the slightest objection. I don't think, however, that +you'll find him at Belton before you. No doubt she will have heard +from him; and it strikes me as very possible that she may go to +Aylmer Park.' + +'What should she go there for?' + +'Would it not be the best place for her?' + +'No. My house would be the best place for her. I am her nearest +relative. Why should she not come to us?' + +Mr Green turned round his chair and poked the fire, and fidgeted +about for some moments before he answered. 'My dear fellow, you must +know that that wouldn't do.' He then said, 'You ought to feel that it +wouldn't do you ought indeed.' + +'Why shouldn't my sister receive Miss Amedroz as well as that old +woman down in Yorkshire?' + +'If I may tell you, I will.' + +'Of course you may tell me.' + +'Because Miss Amedroz is engaged to be married to that old woman's +son, and is not engaged to be married to your sister's brother. The +thing is done, and what is the good of interfering? As far as she is +concerned, a great burden is off your hands.' + +'What do you mean by a burden?' + +'I mean that her engagement to Captain Aylmer makes it unnecessary +for you to suppose that she is in want of any pecuniary assistance. +You told me once before that you would feel yourself called upon to +see that she wanted nothing.' + +'So I do now.' + +'But Captain Aylmer will look after that.' + +'I tell you what it is, Joe; I mean to settle the Belton property in +such a way that she shall have it, and that he shan't be able to +touch it. And it shall go to some one who shall have my name William +Belton. That's what I want you to arrange for me.' + +'After you are dead, you mean.' + +'I mean now, at once. I won't take the estate from her. I hate the +place and everything belonging to it. I don't mean her. There is no +reason for hating her.' + +'My dear Will, you are talking nonsense.' + +'Why is it nonsense? I may give what belongs to me to whom I please.' + +'You can do nothing of the kind at any rate, not by my assistance. +You talk as though the world were all over with you as though you +were never to be married or have any children of your own.' + +'I shall never marry.' + +'Nonsense, Will. Don't make such an ass of yourself as to suppose +that you'll not get over such a thing as this. You'll be married and +have a dozen children yet to provide for. Let the eldest have Belton +Castle, and everything will go on then in the proper way.' + +Belton had now got the poker into his hands, and sat silent for some +time, knocking the coals about. Then he got up, and took his hat, and +put on his coat. Of course I can't make you understand me,' he said; +at any rate not all at once. I'm not such a fool as to want to give +up my property just because a girl is going to be married to a man I +don't like. I'm not such an ass as to give him my estate for such a +reason as that for it will be giving it to him, let me tie it up as I +may. But I've a feeling about it which makes it impossible for me to +take it. How would you like to get a thing by another fellow having +destroyed himself?' + +'You can't help that. It's yours by law.' + +'Of course it is. I know that. And as it's mine I can do what I like +with it. Well good-bye. When I've got anything to say, I'll write.' +Then he went down to his cab and had himself driven to the Great +Western Railway Hotel. + +Captain Aylmer had sent to his betrothed seventy-five pounds; the +exact interest at five per cent, for one year of the sum which his +aunt had left her. This was the first subject of which Belton thought +when he found himself again in the railway carriage, and he continued +thinking of it half the way down to Taunton. Seventy-five pounds! As +though this favoured lover were prepared to give her exactly her due, +and nothing more than her due! Had he been so placed, he, Will +Belton, what would he have done? Seventy-five pounds might have been +more money than she would have wanted, for he would have taken her to +his own house to his own bosom as soon as she would have permitted, +and would have so laboured on her behalf, taking from her shoulders +all money troubles, that there would have been no question as to +principal or interest between them. At any rate he would not have +confined himself to sending to her the exact sum which was her due. +But then Aylmer was a cold-blooded man more like a fish than a man. +Belton told himself over and over again that he had discovered that +at the single glance which he had had when he saw Captain Aylmer in +Green's chambers. Seventy-five pounds indeed! He himself was prepared +to give his whole estate to her, if she would take it even though she +would not marry him, even though she was going to throw herself away +upon that fish! Then he felt somewhat as Hamlet did when he jumped +upon Laertes at the grave of Ophelia. Send her seventy-five pounds +indeed, while he was ready to drink up Esil for her, or to make over +to her the whole Belton estate, and thus abandon the idea for ever of +being Belton of Belton! + +He reached Taunton in the middle of the night during the small hours +of the morning in a winter night; but yet he could not bring himself +to go to bed. So he knocked up an ostler at the nearest inn, and +ordered out a gig. He would go down to the village of Redicote, on +the Minehead road, and put up at the public-house there. He could not +now have himself driven at once to Belton Castle, as he would have +done had the old squire been alive. He fancied that his presence +would be a nuisance if he did so. So he went to the little inn at +Redicote, reaching that place between four and five o'clock in the +morning; and very uncomfortable he was when he got there. But in his +present frame of mind he preferred discomfort. He liked being tired +and cold, and felt, when he was put into a chill room, without fire, +and with a sanded floor, that things with him were as they ought to +be. + +Yes he could have a fly over to Belton Castle after breakfast. Having +learned so much, and ordered a dish of eggs and bacon for his +morning's breakfast, he went upstairs to a miserable little bedroom, +to dress himself after his night's journey. + + + +CHAPTER XXI + +MRS ASKERTON'S GENEROSITY + +The death of the old man at Belton Castle had been very sudden. At +three o'clock in the morning Clara had been called into his room, and +at five o'clock she was alone in the world having neither father, +mother, nor brother; without a home, without a shilling that she +could call her own with no hope as to her future life, if as she had +so much reason to suppose Captain Aylmer should have chosen to accept +her last letter as a ground for permanent separation. But at this +moment, on this saddest morning, she did not care much for that +chance. It seemed to be almost indifferent to her, that question of +Lady Aylmer and her anger. The more that she was absolutely in need +of external friendship, the more disposed was she to reject it, and +to declare to herself that she was prepared to stand alone in the +world. + +For the last week she had understood from the doctor that her father +was in truth sinking, and that she might hardly hope ever to see him +again convalescent. She had therefore in some sort prepared herself +for her loneliness, and anticipated the misery of her position. As +soon as it was known to the women in the room that life had left the +old man, one of them had taken her by the hand and led her back to +her own chamber. 'Now, Miss Clara, you had better lie down on the bed +again you had indeed; you can do nothing sitting up.' She took the +old woman's advice, and allowed them to do with her as they would. It +was true that there was no longer any work by which she could make +herself useful in that house in that house, or, as far as she could +see, in any other. Yes; she would go to bed, and lying there would +feel how convenient it would be for many persons if she also could be +taken away to her long rest, as her father, and aunt, and brother had +been taken before her. + +Her name and family had been unfortunate, and it would be well that +there should be no Amedroz left to trouble those more fortunate +persons who were to come after them. In her sorrow and bitterness she +included both her Cousin Will and Captain Aylmer among those more +fortunate ones for whose sake it might be well that she should be +made to vanish from off the earth. She had read Captain Aylmer's +letter over and over again since she had answered it, and had read +nearly as often the copy of her own reply and had told herself, as +she read them, that of course he would not forgive her. He might +perhaps pardon her, if she would submit to him in everything; but +that she would not submit to his commands respecting Mrs Askerton she +was fully resolved,--and, therefore, there could be no hope. Then, when +she remembered how lately her dear father's spirit had fled, she +hated herself for having allowed her mind to dwell on anything +beyond her loss of him. + +She was still in her bedroom, having fallen into that half-waking +slumber which the numbness of sorrow so often produces, when word was +brought to her that Mrs Askerton was in the house. It was the first +time that Mrs Askerton had ever crossed the door, and the remembrance +that it was so came upon her at once. During her father's lifetime it +had seemed to be understood that their neighbour should have no +admittance there but now now that her father was gone the barrier was +to be overthrown. And why not? Why should not Mrs Askerton come to +her? Why, if Mrs Askerton chose to be kind to her, should she not +altogether throw herself into her friend's arms? Of course her doing +so would give mortal offence to everybody at Aylmer Park; but why +need she stop to think of that? She had already made up her mind that +she would not obey orders from Aylmer Park on this subject. + +She had not seen Mrs Askerton since that interview between them which +was described some few chapters back. Then everything had been told +between them, so that there was no longer any mystery either on the +one side or on the other. Then Clara had assured her friend of her +loving friendship in spite of any edicts to the contrary which might +come from Aylmer Park; and after that what could be more natural than +that Mrs Askerton should come to her in her sorrow? 'She says she'll +come up to you if you'll let her,' said the servant. But Clara +declined this proposition, and in a few minutes went down to the +small parlour in which she had lately lived, and where she found her +visitor. + +'My poor dear, this has been very sudden,' said Mrs Askerton. + +'Very sudden very sudden. And yet, now that he has gone, I know that +I expected it.' + +'Of course I came to you as soon as I heard of it, because I knew you +were all alone. If there had been any one else I should not have +come.' + +'It is very good of you.' + +'Colonel Askerton thought that perhaps he had better come. I told him +of all that which we said to each other the other day. He thought at +first that it would be better that I should not see you.' + +'It was very good of you to come,' said Clara again, and as she spoke +she put out her hand and took Mrs Askerton's continuing to hold it +for awhile; 'very good indeed.' + +'I told him that I could not but go down to you that I thought you +would not understand it if I stayed away.' + +'At any rate it was good of you to come to me.' + +'I don't believe,' said Mrs Askerton, 'that what people call +consolation is ever of any use. It is a terrible thing to lose a +father.' + +'Very terrible. Ah, dear, I have hardly yet found out how sad it is. +As yet I have only been thinking of myself, and wishing that I could +be with him.' + +'Nay, Clara.' + +'How can I help it? What am I to do? Or where am I to go? Of what use +is life to such a one as me? And for him who would dare to wish him +back again? When people have fallen and gone down in the world, it is +bad for them to go on living. Everything is a trouble, and there is +nothing but vexation.' + +'Think what I have suffered, dear.' + +'But you have had somebody to care for you somebody whom you could +trust.' + +'And have not you?' + +'No; no one.' + +'What do you mean, Clara?' + +'I mean what I say. I have no one. It is no use asking questions not +now, at such a time as this. And I did not mean to complain. +Complaining is weak and foolish. I have often told myself that I +could bear anything, and so I will. When I can bring myself to think +of what I have lost in my father I shall be better, even though I +shall be more sorrowful. As it is, I hate myself for being so +selfish.' + +'You will let me come and stay with you today, will you not?' + +'No, dear; not today.' + +'Why not today, Clara?' + +'I shall be better alone. I have so many things to think of.' + +'I know well that it would be better that you should not be alone +much better. But I will not press it. I cannot insist with you as +another woman would.' + +'You are wrong there; quite wrong. I would be led by you sooner than +by any woman living. What other woman is there to whom I would listen +for a moment?' As she said this, even in the depth of her sorrow she +thought of Lady Aylmer, and strengthened herself in her resolution to +rebel against her lover's mother. Then she continued, 'I wish I knew +my Cousin Mary Mary Bolton; but I have never seen her.' + +'Is she nice?' + +'So Will tells me; and I know that what he says must be true even +about his sister.' + +'Will, Will! You are always thinking of your Cousin Will. If he be +really so good he will show it now.' + +'How can he show it? What can he do?' + +'Does he not inherit all the property?' + +'Of course he does. And what of that? When I say that I have no +friend I am not thinking of my poverty.' + +'If he has that regard for you which he pretends, he can do much to +assist you. Why should he not come here at once?' + +'God forbid.' + +'Why? Why do you say so? He is your nearest relative.' + +'If you do not understand I cannot explain.' + +'Has he been told what has happened?' Mrs Askerton asked. + +'Colonel Askerton sent a message to him, I believe.' + +'And to Captain Aylmer also?' + +'Yes; and to Captain Aylmer. It was Colonel Askerton who sent it.' + +'Then he will come, of course.' + +'I think not. Why should he come? He did not even know poor papa.' + +'But, my dear Clara, has he not known you?' + +'You will see that he will not come. And I tell you beforehand that +he will be right to stay away. Indeed, I do not know how he could +come and I do not want him here.' + +'I cannot understand you, Clara.' + +'I suppose not. I cannot very well understand myself.' + +'I should not be at all surprised if Lady Aylmer were to come +herself.' + +'Oh, heavens! How little you can know of Lady Aylmer's position and +character!' + +'But if she is to be your mother-in-law?' + +'And even if she were! The idea of Lady Aylmer coming away from +Aylmer Park all the way from Yorkshire, to such a house as this! If +they told me that the Queen was coming it would hardly disconcert me +more. But, dear, there is no danger of that at least.' + +'I do not know what may have passed between you and him; but unless +there has been some quarrel he will come. That is, he will do so if +he is at all like any men whom I have known.' + +'He will not come.' + +Then Mrs Askerton made some half-whispered offers of services to be +rendered by Colonel Askerton, and soon afterwards took her leave, +having first asked permission to come again in the afternoon, and +when that was declined, having promised to return on the following +morning. As she walked back to the cottage she could not but think +more of Clara's engagement to Captain Aylmer than she did of the +squire's death. As regarded herself, of course she could not grieve +for Mr Amedroz; and as regarded Clara, Clara's father had for some +time past been apparently so insignificant, even in his own house, +that it was difficult to acknowledge the fact that the death of such +a one as he might leave a great blank in the world. But what had +Clara meant by declaring so emphatically that Captain Aylmer would +not visit Belton, and by speaking of herself as one who had neither +position nor friends in the world? If there had been a quarrel, +indeed, then it was sufficiently intelligible and if there was any +such quarrel, from what source must it have arisen? Mrs Askerton felt +the blood rise to her cheeks as she thought of this, and told herself +that there could be but one such source. Mrs Askerton knew that Clara +had received orders from Aylmer Castle to discontinue all +acquaintance with herself, and, therefore, there could be no doubt as +to the cause of the quarrel. It had come to this then, that Clara was +to lose her husband because she was true to her friend; or rather +because she would not consent to cast an additional stone at one who +for some years past had become a mark for many stones. + +I am not prepared to say that Mrs Askerton was a high-minded woman. +Misfortunes had come upon her in life of a sort which are too apt to +quench high nobility of mind in woman. There are calamities which, by +their natural tendencies, elevate the character of women and add +strength to the growth of feminine virtues but then, again, there are +other calamities which few women can bear without some degradation, +without some injury to that delicacy and tenderness which is +essentially necessary to make a woman charming as a woman. In this, I +think, the world is harder to women than to men; that a woman often +loses much by the chance of adverse circumstances which a man only +loses by his own misconduct. That there are women whom no calamity +can degrade is true enough and so it is true that there are some men +who are heroes; but such are exceptions both among men and women. Not +such a one had Mrs Askerton been. Calamity had come upon her partly, +indeed, by her own fault, though that might have been pardoned but +the weight of her misfortunes had been too great for her strength, +and she had become in some degree hardened by what she had endured; +if not unfeminine, still she was feminine in an inferior degree, with +womanly feelings of a lower order. And she had learned to intrigue, +not being desirous of gaining aught by dishonest intriguing, but +believing that she could only hold her own by carrying on her battle +after that fashion. In all this I am speaking of the general +character of the woman, and am not alluding to the one sin which she +had committed. Thus, when she had first become acquainted with Miss +Amedroz, her conscience had not rebuked her in that she was deceiving +her new friend. When asked casually in conversation as to her maiden +name, she had not blushed as she answered the question with a +falsehood. When, unfortunately, the name of her first husband had in +some way made itself known to Clara, she had been ready again with +some prepared fib. And when she had recognized William Belton, she +had thought that the danger to herself of having any one near her who +might know her quite justified her in endeavouring to create ill-will +between Clara and her cousin. 'Self-preservation is the first law of +nature,' she would have said; and would have failed to remember, as +she did always fail to remember that nature does not require by any +of its laws that self-preservation should be aided by falsehood. + +But though she was not high-minded, so also was she not ungenerous; +and now, as she began to understand that Clara was sacrificing +herself because of that promise which had been given when they two +had stood together at the window in the cottage drawing-room, she was +capable of feeling more for her friend than for herself. She was +capable even of telling herself that it was cruel on her part even to +wish for any continuance of Clara's acquaintance. 'I have made my +bed, and I must lie upon it,' she said to herself; and then she +resolved that, instead of going up to the house on the following day, +she would write to Clara, and put an end to the intimacy which +existed between them. 'The world is hard, and harsh, and unjust,' she +said, still speaking to herself. 'But that is not her fault; I will +not injure her because I have been injured myself.' + +Colonel Askerton was up at the house on the same day, but he did not +ask for Miss Amedroz, nor did she see him. Nobody else came to the +house then, or on the following morning, or on that afternoon, though +Clara did not fail to tell herself that Captain Aylmer might have +been there if he had chosen to take the journey and to leave home as +soon as he had received the message; and she made the same +calculation as to her Cousin Will though in that calculation, as we +know, she was wrong. These two days had been very desolate with her, +and she had begun to look forward to Mrs Askerton's coming when +instead of that there came a messenger with a letter from the +cottage. + +'You can do as you like, my dear,' Colonel Askerton had said on the +previous evening to his wife. He had listened to all she had been +saying without taking his eyes from off his newspaper, though she had +spoken with much eagerness. + +'But that is not enough. You should say more to me than that.' + +'Now I think you are unreasonable. For myself, I do not care how this +matter goes; nor do I care one straw what any tongues may say. They +cannot reach me, excepting so far as they may reach me through you.' + +'But you should advise me.' + +'I always do copiously, when I think that I know better than you; but +in this matter I feel so sure that you know better than I, that I +don't wish to suggest anything.' Then he went on with his newspaper, +and she sat for a while looking at him, as though she expected that +something more would be said. But nothing more was said, and she was +left entirely to her own guidance. + +Since the days in which her troubles had come upon Mrs Askerton, +Clara Amedroz was the first female friend who had come near her to +comfort her, and she was very loth to abandon such comfort. There +had, too, been something more than comfort, something almost +approaching to triumph, when she found that Clara had clung to her +with affection after hearing the whole story of her life. Though her +conscience had not pricked her while she was exercising all her +little planned deceits, she had not taken much pleasure in them. How +should any one take pleasure in such work? Many of us daily deceive +our friends, and are so far gone in deceit that the deceit alone is +hardly painful to us. But the need of deceiving a friend is always +painful. The treachery is easy; but to be treacherous to those we +love is never easy never easy, even though it be so common. There had +been a double delight to this poor woman in the near neighbourhood of +Clara Amedroz since there had ceased to be a necessity for falsehood +on her part. But now, almost before her joy had commenced, almost +before she had realized the sweetness of her triumph, had come upon +her this task of doing that herself which Clara in her generosity had +refused to do. 'I have made my bed and I must lie upon it,' she said. +And then, instead of going down to the house as she had promised, she +wrote the following letter to Miss Amedroz:-- + + +'The Cottage, Monday. + +'Dearest Clara,--I need not tell you that I write as I do now with a +bleeding heart. A few days since I should have laughed at any woman who +used such a phrase of herself, and declared her to be an affected fool; +but now I know how true such a word may be. My heart is bleeding, and I +feel myself to be overcome by my disgrace. You told me that I did not +understand you yesterday. Of course I understood you. Of course I +know how it all is, and why you spoke as you did of Captain Aylmer. +He has chosen to think that you could not know me without pollution, +and has determined that you must give up either me or him. Though he +has judged me, I am not going to judge him. The world is on his side; +and, perhaps, he is right. He knows nothing of my trials and +difficulties and why should he? I do not blame him for demanding that +his future wife shall not be intimate with a woman who is supposed to +have lost her fitness for the society of women. + +'At any rate, dearest, you must obey him and we will see each other no +more. I am quite sure that I should be very wicked were I to allow +you to injure your position in life on my account. You at any rate +love him, and would be happy with him, and as you are engaged to him, +you have no just ground for resenting his interference. + +'You will understand me now as well as though I were to fill sheets +and sheets of paper with what I could say on the subject. The simple +fact is, that you and I must forget each other, or simply remember +one another as past friends. You will know in a day or two what your +plans are. If you remain here, we will go away. If you go away, we +will remain here that is, if your cousin will keep us as tenants. I +do not, of course, know what you may have written to Captain Aylmer +since our interview up here, but I beg that you will write to him +now, and make him understand that he need have no fears in respect of +me. You may send him this letter if you will. Oh, dear! If you could +know what I suffer as I write this. + +'I feel that I owe you an apology for harassing you on such a subject +at such a time; but I know that I ought not to lose a day in tolling +you that you are to see nothing more of the friend who has loved you. + +'MARY ASKERTON.' + + +Clara's first impulse on receiving this letter was to go off at once +to the cottage, and insist on her privilege of choosing her own +friends. If she preferred Mrs Askerton to Captain Aylmer, that was no +one's business but her own. And she would have done so had she not +been afraid of meeting with Colonel Askerton. To him she would not +have known how to speak on such a subject nor would she have known +how to conduct herself at the cottage without speaking of it. And +then, after a while, she felt that were she to do so should she now +deliberately determine to throw herself into Mrs Askerton's arms she +must at the same time give up all ideas of becoming Captain Aylmer's +wife. As she thought of this she asked herself various questions +concerning him, which she did not find it easy to answer. Did she +wish to be his wife? Could she assure herself that if they were +married they would make each other happy? Did she love him? She was +still able to declare to herself that the answer to the last question +should be an affirmative; but, nevertheless, she thought that she +could give him up without great unhappiness. And when she began to +think of Lady Aylmer, and to remember that Frederic Aylmer's +imperative demands upon her obedience had, in all probability, been +dictated by his mother, she was again anxious to go at once to the +cottage, and declare that she would not submit to any interference +with her own judgment. + +On the next morning the postman brought to her a letter which was of +much moment to her but he brought to her also tidings which moved her +more even than the letter. The letter was from the lawyer, and +enclosed a cheque for seventy-five pounds, which he had been +instructed to pay to her, as the interest of the money left to her by +her aunt. What should be her answer to that letter she knew very +well, and she instantly wrote it, sending back the cheque to Mr +Green. The postman's news, more important than the letter, told her +that William Belton was at the inn at Redicote. + + + +CHAPTER XXII + +PASSIONATE PLEADING + +Clara wrote her letter to the lawyer, returning the cheque, before +she would allow herself a moment to dwell upon the news of her +cousin's arrival. She felt that it was necessary to do that before +she should even see her cousin thus providing against any difficulty +which might arise from adverse advice on his part; and as soon as the +letter was written she sent it to the post-office in the village. She +would do almost anything that Will might tell her to do, but +Captain Aylmer's money she would not take, even though Will might so +direct her. They would tell her, no doubt, among them, that the money +was her own,--that she might take it without owing any thanks for it to +Captain Aylmer. But she knew better than that,--as she told herself +over and over again. Her aunt had left her nothing, and nothing would +she have from Captain Aylmer,--unless she had all that Captain Aylmer +had to give, after the fashion in which women best love to take such +gifts. + +Then, when she had done that, she was able to think of her cousin's +visit. 'I knew he would come,' she said to herself, as she sat +herself in one of the old chairs in the hall, with a large shawl +wrapped round her shoulders. She had just been to the front door, +with the nominal purpose of dispatching her messenger thence to the +post-office; but she had stood for a minute or two under the portico, +looking in the direction by which Belton would come from Redicote, +expecting, or rather hoping, that she might see his figure or hear +the sound of his gig. But she saw nothing and heard nothing, and so +returned into the hall, slowly shutting the door. 'I knew that he +would come,' she said, repeating to herself the same words over and +over again. Yet when Mrs Askerton had told her that he would do this +thing which he had now done, she had expressed herself as almost +frightened by the idea. 'God forbid,' she had said. Nevertheless now +that he was there at Redicote, she assured herself that his coming +was a thing of which she had been certain; and she took a joy in the +knowledge of his nearness to her which she did not attempt to define +to herself. Had he not said that he would be a brother to her, and +was it not a brother's part to go to a sister in affliction? 'I knew +that he would come. I was sure of it. He is so true.' As to Captain +Aylmer's not coming she said nothing, even to herself; but she felt +that she had been equally sure on that subject. Of course, Captain +Aylmer would not come! He had sent her seventy-five pounds in lieu of +coming, and in doing so was true to his character. Both men were +doing exactly that which was to have been expected of them. So at +least Clara Amedroz now assured herself. She did not ask herself how +it was that she had come to love the thinner and the meaner of the +two men, but she knew well that such had been her fate. + +On a sudden she rose from her chair, as though remembering a duty to +be performed, and went to the kitchen and directed that breakfast +might be got ready for Mr Belton. He would have travelled all night +and would be in want of food. Since the old squire's death there had +been no regular meal served in the house, and Clara had taken such +scraps of food and cups of tea as the old servant of the house had +brought to her. But now the cloth must be spread again, and as she +did this with her own hands she remembered the dinners which had been +prepared for Captain Aylmer at Perivale after his aunt's death. It +seemed to her that she was used to be in the house with death, and +that the sadness and solemn ceremonies of woe were becoming things +familiar to her. There grew upon her a feeling that it must be so +with her always. The circumstances of her life would ever be sad. +What right had she to expect any other fate after such a catastrophe +as that which her brother had brought upon the family? It was clear +to her that she had done wrong in supposing that she could marry and +live with a prosperous man of the world like Captain Aylmer. Their +natures were different, and no such union could lead to any good. So +she told herself, with much misery of spirit, as she was preparing +the breakfast-table for William Belton. + +But William Belton did not come to eat the breakfast. He got what he +wanted in that way at the inn at Redicote, and even then hesitated, +loitering at the bar, before he would go over. What was he to say, +and how would he be received? After all, had he not done amiss in +coming to a house at which he probably might not be wanted? Would it +not be thought that his journey had been made solely with a view to +his own property? He would be regarded as the heir pouncing upon the +inheritance before as yet the old owner was under the ground. At any +rate it would be too early for him to make his visit yet awhile; and, +to kill time, he went over to a carpenter who had been employed by +him about the place at Belton. The carpenter spoke to him as though +everything were his own, and was very intent upon future +improvements. This made Will more disgusted with himself than ever, +and before he could get out of the carpenter's yard he thoroughly +wished himself back at Plaistow. But having come so far, he could +hardly return without seeing his cousin, and at last he had himself +driven over, reaching the house between eleven and twelve o'clock in +the day. + +Clara met him in the hall, and at once led him into the room which +she had prepared for him. He had given her his hand in the hall, but +did not speak to her till she had spoken to him after the closing of +the room door behind them. 'I thought that you would come' she said, +still holding him by the hand. + +'I did not know what to do,' he answered. 'I couldn't say which was +best. Now I am here I shall only be in your way.' He did not dare to +press her hand, nor could he bring himself to take his away from her. + +'In my way yes; as an angel, to tell me what to do in my trouble. I +knew you would come, because you are so good. But you will have +breakfast see, I have got it ready for you.' + +'Oh no; I breakfasted at Redicote. I would not trouble you.' + +'Trouble me, Will! Oh, Will, if you knew!' Then there came tears in +her eyes, and at the sight of them both his own were filled. How was +he to stand it? To take her to his bosom and hold her there for +always; to wipe away her tears so that she should weep no more; to +devote himself and all his energy and all that was his comfort to her +this he could have done; but he knew not how to do anything short of +this. Every word that she spoke to him was an encouragement to this, +and yet he knew that it could not be so. To say a word of his love, +or even to look it, would now be an unmanly insult. And yet, how was +he not to look it not to speak of it? 'It is such a comfort that you +should be here with me,' she said. + +'Then I am glad I am here, though I do not know what I can do. Did he +suffer much, Clara?' + +'No, I think not; very little. He sank at last quicker than I +expected, but just as I thought he would go. He used to speak of you +so often, and always with regard and esteem!' + +'Dear old man!' + +'Yes, Will; he was, in spite of his little faults. No father ever +loved his daughter better than he loved me.' + +After a while the servant brought in the tea, explaining to Belton +that Miss Clara had neither eaten nor drank that morning. 'She +wouldn't take anything till you came, sir.' Then Will added his +entreaties, and Clara was persuaded, and by degrees there grew +between them more ease of manner and capability for talking than had +been within their reach when they first met. And during the morning +many things were explained, as to which Clara would a few hours +previously have thought it to be almost impossible that she should +speak to her cousin. She had told him of her aunt's money, and the +way in which she had on that very morning sent back the cheque to the +lawyer; and she had said something also as to Lady Aylmer's views, +and her own views as to Lady Aylmer. With Will this subject was one +most difficult of discussion; and he blushed and fidgeted in his +chair, and walked about the room, and found himself unable to look +Clara in the face as she spoke to him. But she went on, goading him +with the name, which of all names was the most distasteful to him; +and mentioning that name almost in terms of reproach of reproach +which he felt it would be ungenerous to reciprocate, but which he +would have exaggerated to unmeasured abuse if he had given his tongue +licence to speak his mind. + +'I was right to send back the money wasn't I, Will? Say that I was +right. Pray tell me that you think so!' + +'I don't understand it at present, you see; I am no lawyer.' + +'But it doesn't want a lawyer to know that I couldn't take the money +from him. I am sure you feel that.' + +'If a man owes money of course he ought to pay it.' + +'But he doesn't owe it, Will. It is intended for generosity.' + +'You don't want anybody's generosity, certainly.' Then he reflected +that Clara must, after all, depend entirely on the generosity of some +one till she was married; and he wanted to explain to her that +everything he had in the world was at her service was indeed her own. +Or he would have explained, if he knew how, that he did not intend to +take advantage of the entail that the Belton estate should belong to +her as the natural heir of her father. But he conceived that the +moment for explaining this had hardly as yet arrived, and that he had +better confine himself to some attempt at teaching her that no +extraneous assistance would be necessary to her, 'In money matters,' +said he, 'of course you are to look to me. That is a matter of +course. I'll see Green about the other affairs. Green and I are +friends. We'll settle it.' + +'That's not what I meant, Will.' + +'But it's what I mean. This is one of those things in which a man has +to act on his own judgment. Your father and I understood each other.' + +'He did not understand that I was to accept your bounty.' + +'Bounty is a nasty word, and I hate it. You accepted me as your +brother, and as such I mean to act.' The word almost stuck in his +throat, but he brought it out at last in a fierce tone, of which she +understood accurately the cause and meaning. 'All money matters about +the place must be settled by me. Indeed, that's why I came down.' + +'Not only for that, Will?' + +'Just to be useful in that way, I mean.' + +'You came to see me because you knew I should want you.' Surely this +was malice prepense! Knowing what was his want, how could she +exasperate it by talking thus of her own? 'As for money, I have no +claim on any one. No creature was ever more forlorn. But I will not +talk of that.' + +'Did you not say that you would treat me as a brother?' + +'I did not mean that I was to be a burden on you.' + +'I know what I meant, and that is sufficient.' Belton had been at the +house some hours before he made any signs of leaving her, and when he +did so he had to explain something of his plans. He would remain, he +said, for about a week in the neighbourhood. + +She of course was obliged to ask him to stay at the house at the +house which was in fact his own; but he declined to do this, blurting +out his reason at last very plainly. 'Captain Aylmer would not like +it, and I suppose you are bound to think of what he likes and +dislikes.' 'I don't know what right Captain Aylmer would have to +dislike any such thing,' said Clara. But, nevertheless, she allowed +the reason to pass as current, and did not press her invitation. Will +declared that he would stay at the inn at Redicote, striving to +explain in some very unintelligible manner that such an arrangement +would be very convenient. He would remain at Redicote, and would come +over to Belton every day during his sojourn in the country. Then he +asked one question in a low whisper as to the last sad ceremony, and, +having received an answer, started off with the declared intention of +calling on Colonel Askerton. + +The next two or three days passed uncomfortably enough with Will +Belton. He made his head-quarters at the little inn of Redicote, and +drove himself backwards and forwards between that place and the +estate which was now his own. On each of these days he saw Colonel +Askerton, whom he found to be a civil pleasant man, willing enough to +rid himself of the unpleasant task he had undertaken, but at the same +time, willing also to continue his services if any further services +were required of him. But of Mrs Askerton on these occasions Will saw +nothing, nor had he ever spoken to her since the time of his first +visit to the Castle. Then came the day of the funeral, and after that +rite was over he returned with his cousin to the house. There was no +will to be read. The old squire had left no will, nor was there +anything belonging to him at the time of his death that he could +bequeath. The furniture in the house, the worn-out carpets and +old-fashioned chairs, belonged to Clara; but, beyond that, property +had she none, nor had it been in her father's power to endow her with +anything. She was alone in the world, penniless, with a conviction on +her own mind that her engagement with Frederic Aylmer must of +necessity come to an end, and with a feeling about her cousin which +she could hardly analyse, but which told her that she could not go to +his house in Norfolk, nor live with him at Belton Castle, nor trust +herself in his hands as she would into those of a real brother. + +On the afternoon of the day on which her father had been buried, she +brought to him a letter, asking him to read it, and tell her what she +should do. The letter was from Lady Aylmer, and contained an +invitation to Aylmer Castle. It had been accompanied, as the reader +may possibly remember, by a letter from Captain Aylmer himself. Of +this she of course informed her cousin; but she did not find it to be +necessary to show the letter of one rival to the other. Lady Aylmer's +letter was cold in its expression of welcome, but very dictatorial in +pointing out the absolute necessity that Clara should accept the +invitation so given. 'I think you will not fail to agree with me, +dear Miss Amedroz,' the letter said, 'that under these strange and +perplexing circumstances, this is the only roof which can, with any +propriety, afford you a shelter.' 'And why not the poor-house?' she +said, aloud to her cousin, when she perceived that his eye had +descended so far on the page. He shook his head angrily, but said +nothing; and when he had finished the letter he folded it and gave it +back still in silence. 'And what am I to do?' she said. 'You tell me +that I am to come to you for advice in everything.' + +'You must decide for yourself here.' + +'And you won't advise me.. You won't tell me whether she is right?' + +'I suppose she is right.' + +'Then I had better go?' + +'If you mean to marry Captain Aylmer, you had better go.' + +'I am engaged to him.' + +'Then you had better go.' + +'But I will not submit myself to her tyranny.' + +'Let the marriage take place at once, and you will have to submit +only to his. I suppose you are prepared for that?' + +'I do not know. I do not like tyranny.' + +Again he stood silent for awhile, looking at her, and then he +answered: 'I should not tyrannize over you, Clara.' + +'Oh, Will, Will, do not speak like that. Do not destroy everything.' + +'What am I to say?' + +'What would you say if your sister, your real sister, asked advice in +such a strait? If you had a sister, who came to you, and told you all +her difficulty, you would advise her. You would not say words to make +things worse for her.' + +'It would be very different.' + +'But you said you would be my brother.' + +'How am I to know what you feel for this man? It seems to me that you +half hate him, half fear him, and sometimes despise him.' + +'Hate him! No I never hate him.' + +'Go to him, then, and ask him what you had better do. Don't ask me.' +Then he hurried out of the room, slamming the door behind him. But +before he had half gone down the stairs he remembered the ceremony at +which he had just been present, and how desolate she was in the +world, and he returned to her. 'I beg your pardon, Clara,' he said, +'I am passionate; but I must be a beast to show my passion to you on +such a day as this. If I were you I should accept Lady Aylmer's +invitation merely thanking her for it in the ordinary way. I should +then go and see how the land lay. That is the advice I should give my +sister.' + +'And I will if it is only because you tell me.' + +'But as for a home tell her you have one of your own at Belton +Castle, from which no one can turn you out, and where no one can +intrude on you. This house belongs to you.' Then, before she could +answer him, he had left the room and she listened to his heavy quick +footsteps as he went across the hall and out of the front door. + +He walked across the park and entered the little gate of Colonel +Askerton's garden, as though it were his habit to go to the cottage +when he was at Belton. There had been various matters on which the +two men had been brought into contact concerning the old squire's +death and the tenancy of the cottage, so that they had become almost +intimate. Belton had nothing new that he specially desired to say to +Colonel Askerton, whom, indeed, he had seen only a short time before +at the funeral; but he wanted the relief of speaking to some one +before he returned to the solitude of the inn at Redicote. On this +occasion, however, the colonel was out, and the maid asked him if he +would see Mrs Askerton. When he said something about not troubling +her, the girl told him that her mistress wished to speak to him, and +then he had no alternative but to allow himself to be shown into the +drawing-room. + +'I want to see you a minute,' said Mrs Askerton, bowing to him +without putting out her hand, 'that I might ask you how you find your +cousin.' + +'She is pretty well, I think.' + +'Colonel Askerton has seen more of her than I have since her father's +death, and he says that she does not bear it well. He thinks that she +is ill.' + +'I do not think her ill. Of course she is not in good spirits.' + +'No; exactly. How should she be? But he thinks she seems so worn. I +hope you will excuse me, Mr Belton, but I love her so well that I +cannot bear to be quite in the dark as to her future. Is anything +settled yet?' + +'She is going to Aylmer Castle.' + +'To Aylmer Castle! Is she indeed? At once?' + +'Very soon. Lady Aylmer has asked her.' + +'Lady Aylmer! Then I suppose--' + +'You suppose what?' Will Belton asked. + +'I did not think she would have gone to Aylmer Castle though I dare +say it is the best thing she could do She seemed to me to dislike the +Aylmers that is, Lady Aylmer so much! But I suppose she is right?' + +'She is right to go if she likes it.' + +'She is circumstanced so cruelly! Is she not? Where else could she +go? I do so feel for her. I believe I need hardly tell you, Mr +Belton, that, she would be as welcome here as flowers in May but that +I do not dare to ask her to come to us.' She said this in a low +voice, turning her eyes away from him, looking first upon the ground, +and then again up at the window but still not daring to meet his eye. + +'I don't exactly know about that,' said Belton awkwardly. + +'You know, I hope, that I love her dearly.' + +'Everybody does that,' said Will. + +'You do, Mr Belton.' + +'Yes I do; just as though she were my sister.' + +'And as your sister would you let her come here to us?' He sat silent +for awhile, thinking, and she waited patiently for his answer. But +she spoke again before he answered her. 'I am well aware that you +know all my history, Mr Belton.' + +'I shouldn't tell it her, if you mean that, though she were my +sister. If she were my wife I should tell her.' + +'And why your wife?' + +'Because then I should be sure it would do no harm.' + +'Then I find that you can be generous, Mr Belton. But she knows it +all as well as you do.' + +'I did not tell her.' + +'Nor did I but I should have done so had not Captain Aylmer been +before me. And now tell me whether I could ask her to come here.' + +'It would be useless, as she is going to Aylmer Castle'. + +'But she is going there simply to find a home having no other.' + +'That is not so, Mrs Askerton. She has a home as perfectly her own as +any woman in the land. Belton Castle is hers, to do what she may +please with it. She can live here if she likes it, and nobody can say +a word to her. She need not go to Aylmer Castle to look for a home.' + +'You mean you would lend her the house?' + +'It is hers.' + +'I do not understand you, Mr Belton.' + +'It does not signify we will say no more about it.' + +'And you think she likes going to Lady Aylmer's?' + +'How should I say what she likes?' + +Then there was another pause before Mrs Askerton spoke again. 'I can +tell you one thing,' she said: 'she does not like him.' + +'That is her affair.' + +'But she should be taught to know her own mind before she throws +herself away altogether. You would not wish your cousin to marry a +man whom she does not love because at one time she had come to think +that she loved him. That is the truth of it, Mr Belton. If she goes +to Aylmer Castle she will marry him and she will be an unhappy woman +always afterwards. If you would sanction her coming here for a few +days, I think all that would be cured. She would come in a moment, if +you advised her.' + +Then he went away, allowing himself to make no further answer at the +moment, and discussed the matter with himself as he walked back to +Redicote, meditating on it with all his mind, and all his heart, and +all his strength. And, as he meditated, it came on to rain bitterly a +cold piercing February rain and the darkness of night came upon him, +and he floundered on through the thick mud of the Somersetshire +lanes, unconscious of the weather and of the darkness. There was a +way open to him by which he might even yet get what he wanted. He +thought he saw that there was a way open to him through the policy of +this woman, whom he perceived to have become friendly to him. He saw, +or thought that he saw, it all. No day had absolutely been fixed for +this journey to Yorkshire; and if Clara were induced to go first to +the cottage, and stay there with Mrs Askerton, no such journey might +ever be taken. He could well understand that such a visit on her part +would give a mortal offence to all the Aylmers. That tyranny of which +Clara spoke with so much dread would be exhibited then without +reserve, and so there would be an end altogether of the Aylmer +alliance. But were she once to start for Aylmer Park, then there +would be no hope for him. Then her fate would be decided,--and his. As +far as he could see, too,--as far as he could see then, there would be +no dishonesty in this plan. Why should Clara not go to Mrs Askerton's +house? What could be more natural than such a visit at such a time? +If she were in truth his sister he would not interfere to prevent it +if she wished it. He had told himself that the woman should be +forgiven her offence, and had thought that that forgiveness should be +complete. If the Aylmers were so unreasonable as to quarrel with her +on this ground, let them quarrel with her. Mrs Askerton had told him +that Clara did not really like Captain Aylmer. Perhaps it was so; and +if so, what greater kindness could he do her than give her an +opportunity for escaping such a union? + +The whole of the next day he remained at Redicote, thinking, +doubting, striving to reconcile his wishes and his honesty. It rained +all day, and as he sat alone, smoking in the comfortless inn, he told +himself that the rain was keeping him but in truth it was not the +rain. Had he resolved to do his best to prevent this visit to +Yorkshire, or had he resolved to further it, I think he would have +gone to Belton without much fear of the rain. On the second day after +the funeral he did go, and he had then made up his mind. Clara, if +she would listen to him, should show her independence of Lady Aylmer +by staying a few days with the Askertons before she went to +Yorkshire, and by telling Lady Aylmer that such was her intention. +'If she really loves the man,' he said to himself, 'she will go at +once, in spite of anything that I can say. If she does not, I shall +be saving her.' + +'How cruel of you not to come yesterday!' Clara said, as soon as she +saw him. + +'It rained hard,' he answered. + +'But men like you care so little for rain; but that is when you have +business to take you out or pleasure.' + +'You need not be so severe. The truth is I had things to trouble me.' + +'What troubled you, Will. I thought all the trouble was mine.' + +'I suppose everybody thinks that his own shoe pinches the hardest.' + +'Your shoe can't pinch you very bad, I should think. Sometimes when I +think of you it seems that you are an embodiment of prosperity and +happiness.' + +'I don't see it myself that's all. Did you write to Lady Aylmer, +Clara?' + +'I wrote; but I didn't send it. I would not send any letter till I +had shown it to you, as you are my confessor and adviser. There; read +it. Nothing, I think, could be more courteous or less humble.' He +took the letter and read it. Clara had simply expressed herself +willing to accept Lady Aylmer's invitation, and asked her ladyship to +fix a day. There was no mention of Captain Aylmer's name in the note. + +'And you think this is best?' he said. His voice was hardly like his +own as he spoke. There was wanting to it that tone of self-assurance +which his voice almost always possessed, even when self-assurance +was lacking to his words. + +'I thought it was your own advice,' she said. + +'Well yes; that is, I don't quite know. You couldn't go for a week or +so yet, I suppose.' + +'Perhaps in about a week.' + +'And what will you do till then?' + +'What will I do!' + +'Yes where do you mean to stay?' + +'I thought, Will, that perhaps you would let me remain here.' + +'Let you! Oh, heavens! Look here, Clara.' + +'Before heaven I want what may be the best for you without thinking +of you, if I could only help it.' + +'I have never doubted you. I never will doubt you. I believe in you +next to my God. I do, Will; I do.' He walked up and down the room +half-a-dozen times before he spoke again, while she stood by the +table watching him. 'I wish,' she said, 'I knew what it is that +troubles you.' To this he made no answer, but went on walking till +she came up to him, and putting both her hands upon his arm said, 'It +will be better, Will, that I should go will it not? Speak to me, and +say so. I feel that it will be better.' Then he stopped in his walk +and looked down upon her, as her hands still rested upon his +shoulder. He gazed upon her for some few seconds, remaining quite +motionless, and then, opening his arms, he surrounded her with his +embrace, and pressing her with all his strength close to his bosom, +kissed her forehead, and her cheeks, and her lips, and her eyes. His +will was so masterful, his strength so great, and his motion so +quick, that she was powerless to escape from him till he relaxed his +hold. Indeed she hardly struggled, so much was she surprised and so +soon released. But the moment that he left her he saw that her face +was burning red, and that the tears were streaming from her eyes. She +stood for a moment trembling, with her hands clenched, and with a +look of scorn upon her lips and brow that he had never seen before; +and then she threw herself on a sofa, and, burying her face, sobbed +aloud; while her whole body was shaken as with convulsions. He leaned +over her repentant, not knowing what to do, not knowing how to speak. +All ideas of his scheme had gone from him now. He had offended her +for ever past redemption. What could be the use now of any scheme? +And as he stood there he hated himself because of his scheme. The +utter misery and disgrace of the present moment had come upon him +because he had thought more of himself than of her. It was but a few +moments since she had told him that she trusted him next to her God; +and yet in those few moments, he had shown himself utterly unworthy +of that trust, and had destroyed all her confidence. But he could not +leave, her without speaking to her. 'Clara!' he said 'Clara.' But she +did not answer him. 'Clara; will you not speak to me? Will you not +let me ask you to forgive me?' But still she only sobbed. For her, at +that moment, we may say that sobbing was easier than speech. How was +she to pardon so great an offence? How was she to resent such +passionate love? + +But he could not continue to stand there motionless, all but +speechless, while she lay with her face turned away from him. He must +at any rate in some manner take himself away out of the room; and +this he could not do, even in his present condition of unlimited +disgrace, without a word of farewell. 'Perhaps I had better go and +leave you,' he said. + +Then at last there came a voice, 'Oh, Will, why have you done this? +Why have you treated me so badly?' When he had last seen her face her +mouth had been full of scorn, but, there was, no scorn now in her +voice. 'Why why why?' + +Why indeed except that it was needful for him that she should know +the depth of his passion. 'If you will forgive me, Clara, I will not +offend you so again,' he said. + +'You have offended me. What am I to say? What am I to do? I have no +other friend.' + +'I am a wretch. I know that I am a wretch.' + +'I did not suspect that you would be so cruel. Oh, Will!' + +But before he went she told him that she had forgiven him, and she +had preached to him a solemn, sweet sermon on the wickedness of +yielding, to momentary impulses. Her low, grave words sank into his +ears as though they were divine; and when she said a word to him, +blushing as she spoke, of the sin of his passion and of what her sin +would be, if she were to permit it, he sat by her weeping like an +infant, tears which were certainly tears of innocence. She had been +very angry with him; but I think she loved him better when, her +sermon was finished than she had ever loved him before. + +There was no further question as to her going to Aylmer Castle, nor +was any mention made of Mrs Askerton's invitation to the cottage. The +letter for Lady Aylmer was sent, and it was agreed between them that +Will should remain at Redicote till the answer from Yorkshire should +come, and should then convey Clara as far as London on her journey. +And when he took leave of her that afternoon, she was able to give +him her hand in her old hearty, loving way, and to call him Will with +the old hearty, loving tone. And he,--he was able to accept these +tokens of her graciousness, as though they were signs of a pardon +which she had been good to give, but which he certainly had not +deserved. + +As he went back to Redicote, he swore to himself that he would never +love any woman but her,--even though she must be the wife of Captain +Aylmer. + + + +CHAPTER XXIII + +THE LAST DAY AT BELTON + +In course of post there came an answer from Lady Aylmer, naming a day +for Clara's journey to Yorkshire, and also a letter from Captain +Aylmer, in, which he stated that he would meet her in London and +convey her down to Aylmer Park. 'The House is sitting,' he said, 'and +therefore I shall be a little troubled about my time; but I cannot +allow that your first meeting with my mother should take place in my +absence.' This was all very well, but at the end of the letter there +was a word of caution that was not so well. 'I am sure, my dear +Clara, that you will remember how much is due to my mother's age, and +character, and position. Nothing will be wanted to the happiness of +our marriage, if you can succeed in gaining her affection, and +therefore I make it my first request to you, that you should +endeavour to win her good opinion.' There was nothing perhaps really +amiss, certainly nothing unreasonable, in such words from a future +husband to his future wife; but Clara, as she read them, shook her +head and pressed her foot against the ground in anger. It would not +do. Sorrow would come and trouble and disappointment. She did not say +so, even to herself in words; but the words, though not spoken, were +audible enough to herself. She could not, would not, bend to Lady +Aylmer, and she knew that trouble would come of this visit. + +I fear that many ladies will condemn Miss Amedroz when I tell them +that she showed this letter to her Cousin Will. It does not promise +well for any of the parties concerned when a young woman with two +lovers can bring herself to show the love-letters of him to whom she +is engaged to the other lover whom she has refused! But I have two +excuses to put forward in Clara's defence. In the first place, +Captain Aylmer's love-letters were not in truth love-letters, but +were letters of business; and in the next place, Clara was teaching +herself to regard Will Belton as her brother, and to forget that he +had ever assumed the part of a lover. + +She was so teaching herself, but I cannot say that the lesson was one +easily learned; nor had the outrage upon her of which Will had been +guilty, and which was described in the last chapter, made the +teaching easier. But she had determined, nevertheless, that it should +be so. When she thought of Will her heart would become very soft +towards him; and sometimes, when she thought of Captain Aylmer, her +heart would become anything but soft towards him. Unloving feelings +would be very strong within her bosom as she re-read his letters, and +remembered that he had not come to her, but had sent her seventy-five +pounds to comfort her in her trouble! Nevertheless, he was to be her +husband, and she would do her duty. What might have happened had Will +Belton come to Belton Castle before she had known Frederic Aylmer of +that she stoutly resolved that she would never think at all; and +consequently the thought was always intruding upon her. + +'You will sleep one night in town, of course?' said Will. + +'I suppose so. You know all about it. I shall do as I'm told.' + +'You can't go down to Yorkshire from here in one day. Where would you +like to stay in London?' + +'How on earth should I know? Ladies do sleep at hotels in London +sometimes, I suppose?' + +'Oh yes. I can write and have rooms ready for you.' + +'Then that difficulty is over,' said Clara. + +But in Belton's estimation the difficulty was not exactly over. +Captain Aylmer would, of course, be in London that night, and it was +a question with Will whether or no Clara was not bound in honour to +tell the--accursed beast, I am afraid Mr Belton called him in his +soliloquies--where she would lodge on the occasion. Or would it +suffice that he, Will, should hand her over to the enemy at the +station of the Great Northern Railway on the following morning? All +the little intricacies of the question presented themselves to Will's +imagination. How carefully he would be with her, that the inn +accommodation should suffice for her comfort! With what pleasure +would he order a little dinner for them two, making something of a +gentle _fete_ of the occasion! How sedulously would he wait upon her +with those little attentions, amounting almost to worship, with which +such men as Will Belton are prone to treat all women in exceptionable +circumstances when the ordinary routine of life has been disturbed! +If she had simply been his cousin, and if he had never regarded her +otherwise, how happily could he have done all this! As things now +were, if it was left to him to do, he should do it, with what +patience and grace might be within his power; he would do it, though +he would be mindful every moment of the bitterness of the transfer +which he would so soon be obliged to make; but he doubted whether it +would not be better for Clara's sake that the transfer should be made +overnight. He would take her up to London, because in that way he +could be useful; and then he would go away and hide himself. 'Has +Captain Aylmer said where he would meet you?' he asked after a pause. + +'Of course I must write and tell him.' + +'And is he to come to you when you reach London?' + +'He has said nothing about that. 'He will probably be at the House of +Commons, or too busy somewhere to come to me then. But why do you +ask? Do you wish to hurry through town?' + +'Oh dear, no.' + +'Or perhaps you have friends you want to see. Pray don't let me be in +your way. I shall do very well, you know.' + +Belton rebuked her by a look before he answered her. 'I was only +thinking,' he said, 'of what would be most convenient for yourself. I +have nobody to see, and nothing to do, and nowhere to go to.' Then +Clara understood it all, and said that she would write to Captain +Aylmer and ask him, to join them at the hotel. + +She determined that she would see Mrs Askerton before she went; and +as that lady did not come to the Castle, Clara called upon her at the +cottage. This she did the day before she left, and she took her +cousin with her. Belton had been at the cottage once or twice since +the day on which Mrs Askerton had explained to him how the Aylmer +alliance might be extinguished, but Colonel Askerton had always been +there, and no reference had been made to the former conversation. +Colonel Askerton was not there now, and Belton was almost afraid that +words would be spoken to which he would hardly know how to listen. + +'And so you are really going?' said Mrs Askerton. + +'Yes; we start tomorrow,' said Clara. + +'I am not thinking of the journey to London,' said Mrs Askerton, 'but +of the danger and privations of your subsequent progress to the +North.' + +'I shall do very well. I am not afraid that any one will eat me.' + +'There are so many different ways of eating people! Are there not, Mr +Belton?' + +'I don't know about eating, but there are a great many ways of boring +people,' said he. + +'And I should think they will be great at that kind of thing at +Aylmer Castle. One never hears of Sir Anthony, but I can fancy Lady +Aylmer to be a terrible woman.' + +'I shall manage to hold my own, I dare say,' said Clara. + +'I hope you will; I do hope you will,' said Mrs Askerton. 'I don't +know whether you will be powerful to do so, or whether you will fail; +my heart is not absolute; but I do know what will be the result if +you are successful.' + +'It is much more then than I know myself.' + +'That I can believe too. Do you travel down to Yorkshire alone?' + +'No; Captain Aylmer will meet me in town.' + +Then Mrs Askerton looked at Mr Belton, but made no immediate reply; +nor did she say anything further about Clara's journey. She looked at +Mr Belton, and Will caught her eye, and understood that he was being +rebuked for not having carried out that little scheme which, had been +prepared for him. But he had come to hate the scheme, and almost +hated Mrs Askerton for proposing it. He had declared to himself that +her welfare, Clara's welfare, was the one thing which the should +regard; and he had told himself that he was not strong enough, either +in purpose or in wit, to devise schemes for her welfare. She was +better able to manage things for herself than he was to manage them +for her. If she loved this 'accursed beast,' let her marry him; only +for that was now his one difficulty only he could not bring himself +to think it possible that she should love him. + +'I suppose you will never see this place again?' said Mrs Askerton +after a long pause. + +'I hope I shall, very often,' said Clara. 'Why should I not see it +again? It is not going out of the family.' + +'No not exactly out of the family. That is, it will belong to your +cousin.' + +'And cousins may be as far apart as strangers, you mean; but Will and +I are not like that; are we, Will?' + +'I hardly know what we are like,' said he. + +'You do not mean to say that you will throw me over? But the truth +is, Mrs Askerton, that I do not mean to be thrown over. I look upon +him as my brother, and I intend to cling to him as sisters do cling.' + +'You will hardly come back here before you are married,' said Mrs +Askerton. It was a terrible speech for her to make, and could only be +excused on the ground that the speaker was in truth desirous of doing +that which she thought would benefit both of those whom she +addressed. + +'Of course you are going to your wedding now?' + +'I am doing nothing of the kind,' said Clara. 'How can you speak in +that way to me so soon after my father's death? It is a rebuke to me +for being here at all.' + +'I intend no rebuke, as you well know. What I mean is this; if you do +not stay in Yorkshire till you are married, let the time be when it +may, where do you intend to go in the meantime?' + +'My plans are not settled yet.' + +'She will have this house if she pleases,' said Will. 'There will be +no one else here. It will be her own, to do as she likes with it.' + +'She will hardly come here to be alone.' + +'I will not be inquired into, my dear,' said Clara, speaking with +restored good-humour. 'Of course I am an unprotected female, and +subject to disadvantages. Perhaps I have no plans for the future; and +if I have plans, perhaps I do not mean to divulge them.' + +'I had better come to the point at once,' said Mrs Askerton. 'If if +if it should ever suit you, pray come here to us. Flowers shall not +be more welcome in May. It is difficult to speak of it all, though +you both understand everything as well as I do. I cannot press my +invitation as another woman might.' + +'Yes, you can,' said Clara with energy. 'Of course you can.' + +'Can I? Then I do. Dear Clara, do come to us.' And then as she spoke +Mrs Askerton knelt on the ground at her visitor's knees. 'Mr Belton, +do tell her that when she is tired with the grandeur of Aylmer Park +she may come to us here.' + +'I don't know anything about the grandeur of Aylmer Park,' said Will, +suddenly. + +'But she may come here may she not?' + +'She will not ask my leave,' said he. + +'She says that you are her brother. Whose leave should she ask?' + +'He knows that I should ask his rather than that of any living +person,' said Clara. + +'There, Mr Belton. Now you must say that she may come or that she may +not.' + +'I will say nothing. She knows what to do much better than I can tell +her.' + +Mrs Askerton was still kneeling, and again appealed to Clara. 'You +hear what he says. What do you say yourself? Will you come to us? +that is, if such a visit will suit you in point of convenience?' + +'I will make no promise; but I know no reason why I should not.' + +'And I must be content with that? Well: I will be content.' Then she +got up. 'For such a one as I am, that is a great deal. And, Mr +Belton, let me tell you this I can be grateful to you, though you +cannot be gracious to me.' + +'I hope I have not been ungracious,' said he. + +'Upon my word, I cannot compliment you. But there is something so +much better than grace, that I can forgive you. You know, at any +rate, how thoroughly I wish you well.' + +Upon this Clara got up to take her leave, and the demonstrative +affection of an embrace between the two women afforded a remedy for +the awkwardness of the previous conversation. + +'God bless you, dearest,' said Mrs Askerton. 'May I write to you?' + +'Certainly,' said Clara. + +'And you will answer my letters?' + +'Of course I will. You must tell me everything about the place and +especially as to Bessy. Bessy is never to be sold is she, Will? Bessy +was the cow which Belton had given her. + +'Not if you choose to keep her.' + +'I will go down and see to her myself,' said Mrs Askerton, and will +utter little prayers of my own over her horns that certain events +that I desire may come to pass. Good-bye, Mr Belton. You may be as +ungracious as you please, but it will not make any difference.' + +When Clara and her cousin left the cottage they did not return to the +house immediately, but took a last walk round the park, and through +the shrubbery, and up to the rocks on which a remarkable scene had +once taken place between them. Few words were spoken as they were +walking, and there had been no agreement as to the path they would +take. Each seemed to understand that there was much of melancholy in +their present mood, and that silence was more fitting than speech. +But when they reached the rocks Belton sat himself down, asking +Clara's leave to stop there for a moment. 'I don't suppose I shall +ever come to this place again,' said he. + +'You are as bad as Mrs Askerton,' said Clara. + +'I do not think I shall ever come to this place again,' said he, +repeating his words very solemnly. At any rate, I will never do so +willingly, unless--' + +'Unless what?' + +'Unless you are either my wife, or have promised to become so.' + +'Oh, Will; you know that that is impossible.' + +'Then it is impossible that I should come here again.' + +'You know that I am engaged to another man.' + +'Of course I do. I am not asking you to break your engagement. I am +simply telling you that in spite of that engagement I love you as +well as I did love you before you had made it. I have a right to let +you know the truth.' As if she had not known it without his telling +it to her now! 'It was here that I told you that I loved you. I now +repeat it here; and will never come here again unless I may say the +same thing over and over and over. That is all. We might as well go +on now.' But when he got up she sat down, as though unwilling to +leave the spot. It was still winter, and the rock was damp with cold +drippings from the trees, and the moss around was wet, and little +pools of water had formed themselves in the shallow holes upon the +surface. She did not speak as she seated herself; but he was of +course obliged to wait till she should be ready to accompany him. 'It +is too cold for you to sit there,' he said. 'Come, Clara; I will not +have you loiter here. It is cold and wet.' + +'It is not colder for me than for you.' + +'You are not used to that sort of thing as I am.' + +'Will,' she said, 'you must never speak to me again as you spoke +just now. Promise me that you will not.' + +'Promises will do no good in such a matter.' + +'It is almost a repetition of what you did before though of course it +is not so bad as that.' + +'Everything I do is bad.' + +'No, Will dear Will! Almost everything you do is good. But of what +use can it be to either of us for you to be thinking of that which +can never be? Cannot you think of me as your sister and only as your +sister? + +'No; I cannot.' + +'Then it is not right that we should be together.' + +'I know nothing of right. You ask me a question, and I suppose you +don't wish that I should tell you a lie.' + +'Of course I do not wish that.' + +'Therefore I tell you the truth. I love you as any other man loves +the girl that he does love; and, as far as I know myself now, I never +can be happy unless you are my own.' + +'Oh, Will, how can that be when I am engaged to marry another man?' + +'As to your engagement I should care nothing. Does he love you as I +love you? If he loves you, why is he not here? If he loves you, why +does he let his mother ill-use you, and treat you with scorn? If he +loves you as I love you, how could he write to you as he does write? +Would I write to you such a letter as that? Would I let you be here +without coming to you to be looked after by any one else? If you had +said that you would be my wife, would I leave you in solitude and +sorrow, and then send you seventy-five pounds to console you? If you +think he loves you, Clara--' + +'He thought he was doing right when he sent me the money.' + +'But he shouldn't have thought it right. Never mind. I don't want to +accuse him; but this I know,--and you know; he does not love you as I +love you.' + +'What can I say to answer you?' + +'Say that you will wait till you have seen him. Say that I may have a +hope,--a chance; that if he is cold, and hard, and,--and,--and, just +what we know he is, then I may have a chance.' + +'How can I say that when I am engaged to him? Cannot you understand +that I am wrong to let you speak of him as you do?' + +'How else am I to speak of him? Tell me this. Do you love him?' 'Yes +I do.' + +'I don't believe it!' + +'Will!' + +'I don't believe it. Nothing on earth shall make me believe it. It is +impossible;--impossible!' + +'Do you mean to insult me, Will?' + +'No; I do not mean to insult you, but I mean to tell you the truth. I +do not think you love that man as you ought to love the man whom you +are going to marry. I should tell you just the same thing if I were +really your brother. Of course it isn't that I suppose you love any +one else me for instance. I'm not such a fool as that. But I don't +think you love him; and I'm quite sure he doesn't love you. That's +just what I believe; and if I do believe it, how am I to help telling +you?' + +'You've no right to have such beliefs.' + +'How am I to help it? Well;--never mind. I won't let you sit there any +longer. At any rate you'll be able to understand now that I shall +never come to this place any more.' Clara, as she got up to obey +him, felt that she also ought never to see it again;--unless, +indeed,--unless-- + +They passed that evening together without any reference to the scene +on the rock, or any allusion to their own peculiar troubles. Clara, +though she would not admit to Mrs Askerton that she was going away +from the place for ever, was not the less aware that such might very +probably be the case. She had no longer any rights of ownership at +Belton Castle, and all that had taken place between her and her +cousin tended to make her feel that under no circumstances could she +again reside there. Nor was it probable that she would be able to +make to Mrs Askerton the visit of which they had been talking. If +Lady Aylmer were wise so Clara thought there would be no mention of +Mrs Askerton at Aylmer Park; and, if so, of course she would not +outrage her future husband by proposing to go to a house of which she +knew that he disapproved. If Lady Aylmer were not wise if she should +take upon herself the task of rebuking Clara for her friendship then, +in such circumstances as those, Clara believed that the visit to Mrs +Askerton might be possible. + +But she determined that she would leave the home in which she had +been born, and had passed so many happy and so many unhappy days, as +though she were never to see it again. All her packing had been done, +down to the last fragment of an old letter that was stuffed into her +writing-desk; but, nevertheless, she went about the house with a +candle in her hand, as though she were still looking that nothing had +been omitted, while she was in truth saying farewell in her heart to +every corner which she knew so well. When at last she came down to +pour out for her desolate cousin his cup of tea, she declared that +everything was done. 'You may go to work now, Will,' she said, and do +what you please with the old place. My jurisdiction is over.' + +'Not altogether,' said he. He no longer spoke like a despairing +lover. Indeed there was a smile round his mouth, and his voice was +cheery. + +'Yes altogether. I give over my sovereignty from this moment and a +dirty dilapidated sovereignty it is.' + +'That's all very well to say.' + +'And also very well to do. What best pleases me in going to Aylmer +Castle just now is the power it gives me of doing at once that which +otherwise I might have put off till the doing of it had become much +more unpleasant. Mr Belton, there is the key of the cellar which I +believe gentlemen always regard as the real sign of possession. I +don't advise you to trust much to the contents.' He took the key from +her, and without saying a word chucked it across the room on to an +old sofa. 'If you won't take it, you had better, at any rate, have it +tied up with the others,' she said. + +'I dare say you'll know where to find it when you want it,' he +answered. + +'I shall never want it.' + +'Then it's as well there as anywhere else.' + +'But you won't remember, Will.' + +'I don't suppose I shall have occasion for remembering.' Then he +paused a moment before he went on. 'I have told you before that I do +not intend to take possession of the place. I do not regard it as +mine at all.' + +'And whose is it, then?' + +'Yours.' + +'No, dear Will; it is not mine. You know that.' + +'I intend that it shall be so, and therefore you might as well put +the keys where you will know how to find them.' + +Alter he had gone she did take up the key, and tied it with sundry +others, which she intended to give to the old servant who was to be +left in charge of the house. But after a few moments' consideration +she took the cellar key again off the bunch, and put it back upon the +sofa in the place to which he had thrown it. + +On the following morning they started on their journey. The old fly +from Redicote was not used on this occasion, as Belton had ordered a +pair of post-horses and a comfortable carriage from Taunton. 'I think +it such a shame,' said Clara, 'going away for the last time without +having Jerry and the grey horse.' Jerry was the man who had once +driven her to Taunton when the old horse fell with her on the road. +'But Jerry and the grey horse could not have taken you and me too, +and all our luggage,' said Will. 'Poor Jerry! I suppose not,' said +Clara; 'but still there is an injury done in going without him.' + +There were four or five old dependents of the family standing round +the door to bid her adieu, to all of whom she gave her hand with a +cordial pressure. They, at least, seemed to regard her departure as +final. And of course it was final. She had assured herself of that +during the night. And just as they were about to start, both Colonel +and Mrs Askerton walked up to the door. 'He wouldn't let you go +without bidding you farewell,' said Mrs Askerton. 'I am so glad to +shake hands with him,' Clara answered. Then the colonel spoke a word +to her, and, as he did so, his wife contrived to draw Will Belton for +a moment behind the carriage. 'Never give it up, Mr Belton,' said she +eagerly. 'If you persevere she'll be yours yet.' 'I fear not,' he +said. 'Stick to her like a man,' said she, pressing his hand in her +vehemence. 'If you do, you'll live to thank me for having told you +so.' Will had not a word to say for himself, but he thought that he +would stick to her. Indeed, he thought that he had stuck to her +pretty well. + +At last they were off, and the village of Belton was behind them; +Will, glancing into his cousin's face, saw that her eyes were laden +with tears, and refrained from speaking. As they passed the ugly +red-brick rectory-house, Clara for a moment put her face to the +window, and then withdrew it. 'There is nobody there,' she said, 'who +will care to see me. Considering that I have lived here all my life, +is it not odd that there should be so few to bid me good-bye?' + +'People do not like to put themselves forward on such occasions,' +said Will. + +'People there are no people. No one ever had so few to care for them +as I have. And now But never mind; I mean to do very well, and I +shall do very well.' Belton would not take advantage of her in her +sadness, and they reached the station at Taunton almost without +another word. + +Of course they had to wait there for half an hour, and of course the +waiting was very tedious. To Will it was very tedious indeed, as he +was not by nature good at waiting. To Clara, who on this occasion sat +perfectly still in the waiting-room, with her toes on the fender +before the fire, the evil of the occasion was not so severe. 'The man +would take two hours for the journey, though I told him an hour and a +half would be enough,' said Will, querulously. + +'But we might have had an accident.' + +'An accident! What accident? People don't have accidents every day.' + +At last the train came and they started. Clara, though she had with +her her best friend I may almost say the friend whom in the world she +loved the best did not have an agreeable journey. Belton would not +talk; but as he made no attempt at reading, Clara did not like to +have recourse to the book which she had in her travelling-bag. He sat +opposite to her, opening the window and shutting it as he thought she +might like it, but looking wretched and forlorn. At Swindon he +brightened up for a moment under the excitement of getting her +something to eat, but that relaxation lasted only for a few minutes. +Alter that he relapsed again into silence till the train had passed +Slough and he knew that in another half-hour they would be in London. +Then he leant over her and spoke. + +'This will probably be the last opportunity I shall have of saying a +few words to you alone.' + +'I don't know that at all, Will.' + +'It will be the last for a long time at any rate. And as I have got +something to say, I might as well say it now. I have thought a great +deal about the property the Belton estate, I mean; and I don't intend +to take it as mine.' + +'That is sheer nonsense, Will. You must take it, as it is yours, and +can't belong to any one else.' + +'I have thought it over, and I am quite sure that all the business of +the entail was wrong radically wrong from first to last. You are to +understand that my special regard for you has nothing whatever to do +with it. I should do the same thing if I felt that I hated you.' + +'Don't hate me, Will!' + +'You know what I mean. I think the entail was all wrong, and I shan't +take advantage of it. It's not common sense that I should have +everything because of poor Charley's misfortune.' + +'But it seems to me that it does not depend upon you or upon me, or +upon anybody. It is yours by law, you know.' + +'And therefore it won't be sufficient for me to give it up without +making it yours by law also which I intend to do. I shall stay in +town tomorrow and give instructions to Mr Green. I have thought it +proper to tell you this now, in order that you may mention it to +Captain Aylmer.' + +They were leaning over in the carriage one towards the other; her +face had been slightly turned away from him; but now she slowly +raised her eyes till they met his, and looking into the depth of +them, and seeing there all his love and all his suffering, and the +great nobility of his nature, her heart melted within her. Gradually, +as her tears came,--would come, in spite of all her constraint, she +again turned her face towards the window. 'I can't talk now,' she +said, 'indeed I can't.' + +'There is no need for any more talking about it,' he replied. And +there was no more talking between them, on that subject or on any +other, till the tickets had been taken and the train was again in +motion. Then he referred to it again for a moment. 'You will tell +Captain Aylmer, my dear.' + +'I will tell him what you say, that he may know your generosity. But +of course he will agree with me that no such offer can be accepted. +It is quite,--quite,--quite out of the question.' + +'You had better tell him and say nothing more; or you can ask him to +see Mr Green after tomorrow. He, as a man who understands business, +will know that this arrangement must be made, if I choose to make it. +Come; here we are. Porter, a four-wheeled cab. Do you go with him, +and I'll look after the luggage.' + +Clara, as she got into the cab, felt that she ought to have been more +stout in her resistance to his offer. But it would be better, +perhaps, that she should write to him from Aylmer Park, and get +Frederic to write also. + + + +CHAPTER XXIV + +THE GREAT NORTHERN RAILWAY HOTEL + +At the door of the hotel of the Great Northern Railway Station they +met Captain Aylmer. Rooms had been taken there because they were to +start by an early train on that line in the morning, and Captain +Aylmer had undertaken to order dinner. There was nothing particular +in the meeting to make it unpleasant to our friend Will. The +fortunate rival could do no more in the hall of the inn than give his +hand to his affianced bride, as he might do to any other lady, and +then suggest to her that she should go upstairs and see her room. +When he had done this, he also offered his hand to Belton; and Will, +though he would almost sooner have cut off his own, was obliged to +take it. In a few minutes the two men were standing alone together in +the sitting-room. + +'I suppose you found it cold coming up?' said the captain. + +'Not particularly,' said Will. + +'It's rather a long journey from Belton.' + +'Not very long,' said Will. + +'Not for you, perhaps; but Miss Amedroz must be tired.' + +Belton was angry at having his cousin called Miss Amedroz feeling +that the reserve of the name was intended to keep him at a distance. +But he would have been equally angry had Aylmer called her Clara. + +'My cousin,' said Will, stoutly, 'is able to bear slight fatigue of +that kind without suffering.' + +'I didn't suppose she suffered; but journeys are always tedious, +especially where there is so much roadwork. I believe you are twenty +miles from the station?' + +'Belton Castle is something over twenty miles from Taunton.' + +'We are seven from our station at Aylmer Park, and we think that a +great deal.' + +'I'm more than that at Plaistow,' said Will. + +'Oh, indeed. Plaistow is in Norfolk, I believe?' + +'Yes Plaistow is in Norfolk.' + +'I suppose you'll leave it now and go into Somersetshire,' suggested +Captain Aylmer. + +'Certainly not. Why should I leave it?' + +'I thought, perhaps as Belton Castle is now your own' + +'Plaistow Hall is more my own than Belton Castle, if that signifies +anything which it doesn't.' This he said in an angry tone, which, as +he became conscious of it, he tried to rectify. 'I've a deal of stock +and all that sort of thing at Plaistow, and couldn't very well leave +it, even if I wished it,' he said. + +'You've pretty good shooting too, I suppose,' said Aylmer. + +'As far as partridges go I'll back it against most properties of the +same extent in any county.' + +'I'm too busy a man myself,' said the captain, 'to do much at +partridges. We think more of pheasants down with us.' + +'I dare say.' + +'But a Norfolk man like you is of course keen about birds.' + +'We are obliged to put up with what we've got, you know not but what +I believe there is a better general head of game in Norfolk than in +any other county in England.' + +'That's what makes your hunting rather poor.' + +'Our hunting poor! Why do you say it's poor?' + +'So many of you are against preserving foxes.' + +'I'll tell you what, Captain Aylmer; I don't know what pack you hunt +with, but I'll bet you a five-pound note that we killed more +foxes last year than you did;--that is, taking three days a week. +Nine-and-twenty brace and a half in a short season I don't call poor +at all.' + +Captain Aylmer saw that the man was waxing angry, and made no further +allusion either to the glories or deficiencies of Norfolk. As he +could think of no other subject on which to speak at the spur of the +moment, he sat himself down and took up a paper; Belton took up +another, and so they remained till Clara made her appearance. That +Captain Aylmer read his paper is probable enough. He was not a man +easily disconcerted, and there was nothing in his present position to +disconcert him. But I feel sure that Will Belton did not read a word. +He was angry with this rival, whom he hated, and was angry with +himself for showing his anger. He would have wished to appear to the +best advantage before this man, or rather before Clara in this man's +presence; and he knew that in Clara's absence he was making such a +fool of himself that he would be unable to recover his prestige. He +had serious thoughts within his own breast whether it would not be as +well for him to get up from his seat and give Captain Aylmer a +thoroughly good thrashing: 'Drop into him and punch his head,' as he +himself would have expressed it. For the moment such an exercise +would give him immense gratification. The final results would, no +doubt, be disastrous; but then, all future results, as far as he +could see them, were laden with disaster. He was still thinking of +this, eyeing the man from under the newspaper, and telling himself +that the feat would probably be too easy to afford much enjoyment, +when Clara re-entered the room. Then he got up, acting on the spur of +the moment got up quickly and suddenly, and began to bid her adieu. + +'But you are going to dine here, Will?' she said. + +'No; I think not.' + +'You promised you would. You told me you had nothing to do to-night.' +Then she turned to Captain Aylmer. 'You expect my cousin to dine with +us today?' + +'I ordered dinner for three,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'Oh, very well; it's all the same thing to me,' said Will. + +'And to me,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'It's not all the same thing to me,' said Clara. 'I don't know when I +may see my cousin again. I should think it very bad of you, Will, if +you went away this evening.' + +'I'll go out just for half an hour,' said he, 'and be back to +dinner.' + +'We dine at seven,' said the captain. Then Belton took his hat and +left the two lovers together. + +'Your cousin seems to be a rather surly sort of gentleman.' Those +were the first words which Captain Aylmer spoke when he was alone +with the lady of his love. Nor was he demonstrative of his affection +by any of the usual signs of regard which are permitted to accepted +lovers. He did not offer to kiss her, nor did he attempt to take her +hand with a warmer pressure now that he was alone with her. He +probably might have gone through some such ceremony had he first met +Clara in a position propitious to such purposes; but, as it was, he +had been a little ruffled by Will Belton's want of good breeding, and +had probably forgotten that any such privileges might have been his. +I wonder whether any remembrance flashed across Clara's mind at this +moment of her Cousin Will's great iniquity in the sitting-room at +Belton Castle. She thought of it very often, and may possibly have +thought of it now. + +'I don't believe that he is surly, Frederic,' she said. 'He may, +perhaps, be out of humour.' + +'And why should he be out of humour with me? I only suggested to him +that it might suit him to live at Belton instead of at that farm of +his, down in Norfolk.' + +'He is very fond of Plaistow, I fancy.' + +'But that's no reason why he should be cross with me. I don't envy +him his taste, that's all. If he can't understand that he, with his +name, ought to live on the family property which belongs to him, it +isn't likely that anything that I can say will open his eyes upon the +subject.' + +'The truth is, Frederic, he has some romantic notion about the Belton +estate.' + +'What romantic notion?' + +'He thinks it should not be his at all.' + +'Whose then? Who does he think should have it?' + +'Of course there can be nothing in it, you know; of course, it's all +nonsense.' + +'But what is his idea? Who does he think should be the owner?' + +'He means that it should be mine. But of course, Frederic, it is all +nonsense; we know that.' + +It did not seem to be quite clear at the moment that Frederic had +altogether made up his mind upon the subject. As he heard those +tidings from Clara there came across his face a puzzled, dubious +look, as though he did not quite understand the proposition which had +been suggested to him as though some consideration were wanted before +he could take the idea home to himself and digest it, so as to enable +himself to express an opinion upon it. There might be something in it +some show of reason which did not make itself clear to Clara's +feminine mind. 'I have never known what was the precise nature of +your father's marriage settlement,' said he. + +Then Clara began to explain with exceeding eagerness that there was +no question as to the accuracy of the settlement, or the legality of +the entail that indeed there was no question as to anything. Her +Cousin Will was romantic, and that was the end of it. Of course quite +as a matter of course, this romance would lead to nothing; and she +had only mentioned the subject now to show that her cousin's mind +might possibly be disturbed when the question of his future residence +was raised. 'I quite feel with you,' she said, 'that it will be much +nicer that he should live at the old family place; but just at +present I do not speak about it.' + +'If he is thinking of not claiming Belton, it is quite another +thing,' said Aylmer. + +'It is his without any claiming,' said Clara. + +'Ah, well; it will all be settled before long,' said Aylmer. + +'It is settled already,' said Clara. + +At seven the three met again, and when the dinner was on the table +there was some little trouble as to the helping of the fish. Which of +the two men should take the lead on the occasion? But Clara decided +the question by asking her cousin to make himself useful. There can +be little doubt but that Captain Aylmer would have distributed the +mutton chops with much more grace, and have carved the roast fowl +with much more skill; but it suited Clara that Will should have the +employment, and Will did the work. Captain Aylmer, throughout the +dinner, endeavoured to be complaisant, and Clara exerted herself to +talk as though all matters around them were easy. Will, too, made his +effort, every now and then speaking a word, and restraining himself +from snapping at his rival; but the restraint was in itself evident, +and there were symptoms throughout the dinner that the untamed man +was longing to fly at the throat of the man that was tamed. + +'Is it supposed that I ought to go away for a little while?' said +Clara, as soon as she had drunk her own glass of wine. + +'Oh dear, no,' said the captain. 'We'll have a cup of coffee that is, +if Mr Belton likes it.' + +'It's all the same to me,' said Will. + +'But won't you have some more wine?' Clara asked. + +'No more for me,' said Captain Aylmer. 'Perhaps Mr Belton--' + +'Who; I? No; I don't want any more wine,' said Will; and then they +were all silent. + +It was very hard upon Clara. After a while the coffee came, and even +that was felt to be a comfort. Though there was no pouring out to be +done, no actual employment enacted, still the manoeuvring of the cups +created a diversion. 'If either of you like to smoke,' she said, 'I +shan't mind it in the least.' But neither of them would smoke. 'At +what hour shall we get to Aylmer Park tomorrow?' Clara asked. + +'At half-past four,' said the captain. + +'Oh, indeed;--so early as that.' What was she to say next? Will, who +had not touched his coffee, and who was sitting stiffly at the table +as though he were bound in duty not to move, was becoming more and +more grim every moment. She almost repented that she had asked him to +remain with them. Certainly there was no comfort in his company, +either to them or to himself. 'How long shall you remain in town, +Will, before you go down to Plaistow?' she asked. + +'One day,' he replied. + +'Give my kind love,--my very kindest love to Mary. I wish I knew her. I +wish I could think that I might soon know her.' + +'You'll never know her,' said Belton. The tone of his voice was +actually savage as he spoke so much so that Aylmer turned in his +chair to look at him, and Clara did not dare to answer him. But now +that he had been made to speak, it seemed that he was determined to +persevere. 'How should you ever know her? Nothing will ever bring you +into Norfolk, and nothing will ever take her out of it.' + +'I don't quite see why either of those assertions should be made.' + +'Nevertheless they're both true. Had you ever meant to come to +Norfolk you would have come now.' He had not even asked her to come, +having arranged with his sister that in their existing circumstances +any such asking would not be a kindness; and yet he rebuked her now +for not coming! + +'My mother is very anxious that Miss Amedroz should pay her a visit +at Aylmer Park,' said the captain. + +'And she's going to Aylmer Park, so your mother's anxiety need not +disturb her any longer.' + +'Come, Will, don't be out of temper with us,' said Clara. 'It is our +last night together. We, who are so dear to each other, ought not to +quarrel.' + +'I'm not quarrelling with you, said he. + +'I can hardly suppose that Mr Belton wants to quarrel with me,' said +Captain Aylmer, smiling. + +'I'm sure he does not,' said Clara. Belton sat silent, with his eyes +fixed upon the table, and with a dark frown upon his brow. He did +long to quarrel with Captain Aylmer; but was still anxious, if it +might be possible, to save himself from what he knew would be a +transgression. + +'To use a phrase common with us down in Yorkshire,' said Aylmer, 'I +should say that Mr Belton had got out of bed the wrong side this +morning.' + +'What the d---- does it matter to you, sir, what side I got out of bed?' +said Will, clenching both his fists. Oh--if he might have only been +allowed to have a round of five minutes with Aylmer, he would have +been restored to good temper for that night, let the subsequent +results have been what they might. He moved his feet impatiently on +the floor, as though he were longing to kick something; and then he +pushed his coffee-cup away from him, upsetting half the contents upon +the table, and knocking down a wineglass, which was broken. + +'Will;--Will!' said Clara, looking at him with imploring eyes. + +'Then he shouldn't talk to me about getting out of bed on the wrong +side; I didn't say anything to him.' + +'It is unkind of you, Will, to quarrel with Captain Aylmer because he +is my friend.' + +'I don't want to quarrel with him; or, rather, as I won't quarrel +with him because you don't wish it, I'll go away. I can't do more +than that. I didn't want to dine with him here. There's my cousin +Clara, Captain Aylmer; I love her better than all the world besides. +Love her! It seems to me that there's nothing else in the world for +me to love. I'd give my heart for her this minute. All that I have in +the world is hers. Oh love her! I don't believe that it's in you to +know what I mean when I say that I love her! She tells me that he's +going to be your wife. You can't suppose that I can be very +comfortable under those circumstances or that I can be very fond of +you. I'm not very fond of you. Now I'll go away, and then I shan't +trouble you any more. But look here if ever you should ill-treat her, +whether you marry her or whether you don't, I'll crush every bone in +your skin.' Having so spoken he went to the door, but stopped himself +before he left the room. 'Good-bye, Clara. I've got a word or two +more to say to you, but I'll write you a line down-stairs. You can +show it to him if you please. It'll only be about business. +Good-night.' + +She had got up and followed him to the door, and he had taken her by +the hand. 'You shouldn't let your passion get the better of you in +this way,' she said; but the tone of her voice was very soft, and her +eyes were full of love. + +'I suppose not,' said he. + +'I can forgive him,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'D---- your forgiveness,' said Will Belton. Then Clara dropped the hand +and started back, and the door was shut, and Will Belton was gone. + +'Your cousin seems to be a nice sort of young man,' said Aylmer. + +'Cannot you understand it all, Frederic, and pardon him?' + +'I can pardon him easily enough; but one doesn't like men who are +given to threatening. He's not the sort of man that I took him to +be.' + +'Upon my word I think he's as nearly perfect as a man can be.' + +'Then you like men to swear at you, and to swagger like Bobadils and +to misbehave themselves, so that one has to blush for them if a +servant chances to hear them. Do you really think that he has +conducted himself today like a gentleman?' + +'I know that he is a gentleman,' said Clara. + +'I must confess I have no reason for supposing him to be so but your +assurance.' + +'And I hope that is sufficient, Frederic.' + +Captain Aylmer did not answer her at once, but sat for awhile silent, +considering what he would say. Clara, who understood his moods, knew +that he did not mean to drop the subject, and resolved that she would +defend her cousin, let Captain Aylmer attack him as he would. + +'Upon my word, I hardly know what to say about it,' said Aylmer. + +'Suppose then, that we say nothing more. Will not that be best?' + +'No, Clara. I cannot now let the matter pass by in that way. You have +asked me whether I do not think Mr Belton to be a gentleman, and I +must say that I doubt it. Pray hear me out before you answer me. I do +not want to be harder upon him than I can help; and I would have +borne, and I did bear from him, a great deal in silence. But he said +that to me which I cannot allow to pass without notice. He had the +bad taste to speak to me of his his regard for you.' + +'I cannot see what harm he did by that except to himself.' + +'I believe that it is understood among gentlemen that one man never +speaks to another man about the lady the other man means to marry, +unless they are very intimate friends indeed. What I mean is, that if +Mr Belton had understood how gentlemen live together he would never +have said anything to me about his affection for you. He should at +any rate have supposed me to be ignorant of it. There is something in +the very idea of his doing so that is in the highest degree +in-delicate. I wonder, Clara, that you do not see this yourself.' + +'I think he was indiscreet.' + +'Indiscreet! Indiscreet is not the word for such conduct. I must say, +that as far as my opinion goes, it was ungentlemanlike.' + +'I don't believe that there is a nobler-minded gentleman in all +London than my Cousin Will.' + +'Perhaps it gratified you to hear from him the assurance of his +love?' said Captain Aylmer. + +'If it is your wish to insult me, Frederic, I will leave you'. + +'It is my wish to make you understand that your judgment has been +wrong.' + +'That is simply a matter of opinion, and as I do not wish to argue +with you about it, I had better go. At any rate I am very tired. +Goodnight, Frederic.' He then told her what arrangements he had made +for the morrow, and what hour she would be called, and when she would +have her breakfast. After that he let her go without making any +further allusion to Will Belton. + +It must be admitted that the meeting between the lovers had not been +auspicious; and it must be acknowledged, also, that Will Belton had +behaved very badly. I am not aware of the existence of that special +understanding among gentlemen in respect to the ladies they are going +to marry which Captain Aylmer so eloquently described; but, +nevertheless, I must confess that Belton would have done better had +he kept his feelings to himself. And when he talked of crushing his +rival's bones, he laid himself justly open to severe censure. But, +for all that, he was no Bobadil. He was angry, sore, and miserable; +and in his anger, soreness, and misery, he had allowed himself to be +carried away. He felt very keenly his own folly, even as he was +leaving the room, and as he made his way out of the hotel he hated +himself for his own braggadocio. 'I wish some one would crush my +bones,' he said to himself almost audibly. 'No one ever deserved to +be crushed better than I do.' + +Clara, when she got to her own room, was very serious and very sad. +What was to be the end of it all? This had been her first meeting +after her father's death with the man whom she had promised to marry; +indeed, it was the first meeting after her promise had been given; +and they had only met to quarrel. There had been no word of love +spoken between them. She had parted from him now almost in anger, +without the slightest expression of confidence between them almost as +those part who are constrained by circumstances to be together, but +who yet hate each other and know that they hate each other. Was there +in truth any love between him and her? And if there was none, could +there be any advantage, any good either to him or to her, in this +journey of hers to Aylmer Park? Would it not be better that she +should send for him and tell him that they were not suited for each +other, and that thus she should escape from all the terrors of Lady +Aylmer? As she thought of this, she could not but think of Will +Belton also. Not a gentleman! If Will Belton was not a gentleman, she +desired to know nothing further of gentlemen. Women are so good and +kind that those whom they love they love almost the more when they +commit offences, because of the offences so committed. Will Belton +had been guilty of great offences,--of offences for which Clara was +prepared to lecture him in the gravest manner should opportunities +for such lectures ever come;--but I think that they had increased her +regard for him rather than diminished it. She could not, however, +make up her mind to send for Captain Aylmer, and when she went to bed +she had resolved that the visit to Yorkshire must be made. + +Before she left the room the following morning, a letter was brought +to her from her cousin, which had been written that morning. She +asked the maid to inquire for him, and sent down word to him that if +he were in the house she specially wished to see him; but the tidings +came from the hall porter that he had gone out very early, and had +expressly said that he should not breakfast at the inn. + +The letter was as follows:-- + + +'Dear Clara, + +'I meant to have handed to you the enclosed in person, but I lost my +temper last night like a fool as I am and so I couldn't do it. You +need not have any scruple about the money which I send,L100 in ten, +ten-pound notes,--as it is your own. There is the rent due up to your +father's death, which is more than what I now enclose, and there will +be a great many other items, as to all of which you shall have a +proper account. When you want more, you had better draw on me, till +things are settled. It shall all be done as soon as possible. It +would not be comfortable for you to go away without money of your +own, and I suppose you would not wish that he should pay for your +journeys and things before you are married. + +'Of course I made a fool of myself yesterday. I believe that I usually +do. It is not any good my begging your pardon, for I don't suppose I +shall ever trouble you any more. Good-bye, and God bless you. + +'Your affectionate Cousin, + +'WILLIAM BELTON. + +'It was a bad day for me when I made up my mind to go to Belton Castle +last summer.' + + +Clara, when she had read the letter, sat down and cried, holding the +bundle of notes in her hand. What would she do with them? Should she +send them back? Oh no she would do nothing to displease him, or to +make him think that she was angry with him. Besides, she had none of +that dislike to taking his money which she had felt as to receiving +money from Captain Aylmer. He had said that she would be his sister, +and she would take from him any assistance that a sister might +properly take from a brother. + +She went down-stairs and met Captain Aylmer in the sitting-room. He +stepped up to her as soon as the door was closed, and she could at +once see that he had determined to forget the unpleasantness of the +previous evening. He stepped up to her, and gracefully taking her by +one hand, and passing the other behind her waist, saluted her in a +becoming and appropriate manner. She did not like it. She especially +disliked it, believing in her heart of hearts that she would never +become the wife of this man whom she had professed to love and whom +she really had once loved. But she could only bear it. And, to say +the truth, there was not much suffering of that kind to be borne. + +Their journey down to Yorkshire was very prosperous. He maintained +his good humour throughout the day, and never once said a word about +Will Belton. Nor did he say a word about Mrs Askerton. 'Do your best +to please my mother, Clara,' he said, as they were driving up from +the park lodges to the house. This was fair enough, and she therefore +promised him that she would do her best. + + + +CHAPTER XXV + +MISS AMEDROZ HAS SOME HASHED CHICKEN + +Clara felt herself to be a coward as the Aylmer Park carriage, which +had been sent to meet her at the station, was drawn up at Sir Anthony +Aylmer's door. She had made up her mind that she would not bow down +to Lady Aylmer, and yet she was afraid of the woman. As she got out +of the carriage, she looked up, expecting to see her in the hall; but +Lady Aylmer was too accurately acquainted with the weights and +measures of society for any such movement as that. Had her son +brought Lady Emily to the house as his future bride, Lady Aylmer +would probably have been in the hall when the arrival took place; and +had Clara possessed ten thousand pounds of her own, she would +probably have been met at the drawing-room door; but as she had +neither money nor title as she in fact brought with her no advantages +of any sort Lady Aylmer was found stitching a bit of worsted, as +though she had expected no one to come to her. And Belinda Aylmer was +stitching also by special order from her mother. The reader will +remember that Lady Aylmer was not without strong hope that the +engagement might even yet be broken off. Snubbing, she thought, might +probably be efficacious to this purpose, and so Clara was to be +snubbed. + +Clara, who had just promised to do her best to gain Lady Aylmer's +opinion, and who desired to be in some way true to her promise, +though she thoroughly believed that her labour would be in vain, put +on her pleasantest smile as she entered the room. Belinda, under the +pressure of the circumstances, forgetting somewhat of her mother's +injunctions, hurried to the door to welcome the stranger. Lady Aylmer +kept her chair, and even maintained her stitch, till Clara was half +across the room. Then she got up, and with great mastery over her +voice, made her little speech. + +'We are delighted to see you, Miss Amedroz,' she said, putting out +her hand of which Clara, however, felt no more than the finger. + +'Quite delighted,' said Belinda, yielding a fuller grasp. Then there +were affectionate greetings between Frederic and his mother and +Frederic and his sister, during which Clara stood by, ill at ease. +Captain Aylmer said not a word as to the footing on which his future +wife had come to his father's house. He did not ask his mother to +receive her as another daughter, or his sister to take his Clara to +her heart as a sister. There had been no word spoken of recognized +intimacy. Clara knew that the Aylmers were cold people. She had +learned as much as that from Captain Aylmer's words to herself, and +from his own manner. But she had not expected to be so frozen by them +as was the case with her now. In ten minutes she was sitting down +with her bonnet still on, and Lady Aylmer was again at her stitches. + +'Shall I show you your room?' said Belinda. + +'Wait a moment, my dear,' said Lady Aylmer. 'Frederic has gone to see +if Sir Anthony is in his study.' + +Sir Anthony was found in his study, and now made his appearance. + +'So this is Clara Amedroz,' he said. 'My dear, you are welcome to +Aylmer Park.' This was so much better, that the kindness expressed +though there was nothing special in it brought a tear into Clara's +eye, and almost made her love Sir Anthony. + +'By the by, Sir Anthony, have you seen Darvel? Darvel was wanting to +see you especially about Nuggins. Nuggins says that he'll take the +bullocks now.' This was said by Lady Aylmer, and was skilfully +arranged by her to put a stop to anything like enthusiasm on the part +of Sir Anthony. Clara Amedroz had been invited to Aylmer Park, and +was to be entertained there, but it would not be expedient that she +should be made to think that anybody was particularly glad to see +her, or that the family was at all proud of the proposed connexion. +Within five minutes after this she was up in her room, and had +received from Belinda tenders of assistance as to her lady's maid. +Both the mother and daughter had been anxious to learn whether Clara +would bring her own maid. Lady Aylmer, thinking that she would do so, +had already blamed her for extravagance. 'Of course Fred will have to +pay for the journey and all the rest of it,' she had said. But as +soon as she had perceived that Clara had come without a servant, she +had perceived that any young woman who travelled in that way must be +unfit to be mated with her son. Clara, whose intelligence in such +matters was sharp enough, assured Belinda that she wanted no +assistance. 'I dare say you think it very odd,' she said, 'but I +really can dress myself.' And when the maid did come to unpack the +things, Clara would have sent her away at once had she been able. But +the maid, who was not a young woman, was obdurate. 'Oh no, miss; my +lady wouldn't be pleased. If you please, miss, I'll do it.' And so +the things were unpacked. + +Clara was told that they dined at half-past seven, and she remained +alone in her room till dinner-time, although it had not yet struck +five when she had gone upstairs. The maid had brought her up a cup of +tea, and she seated herself at her fire, turning over in her mind the +different members of the household in which she found herself. It +would never do. She told herself over and over again that it would +never come to pass that that woman should be her mother-in-law, or +that that other woman should be her sister. It was manifest to her +that she was distasteful to them; and she had not lost a moment in +assuring herself that they were distasteful to her. What purpose +could it answer that she should strive not to like them, for no such +strife was possible but to appear to like them? The whole place and +everything about it was antipathetic to her. Would it not be simply +honest to Captain Aylmer that she should tell him so at once, and go +away? Then she remembered that Frederic had not spoken to her a +single word since she had been under his father's roof. What sort of +welcome would have been accorded to her had she chosen to go down to +Plaistow Hall? + +At half-past seven she made her way by herself downstairs. In this +there was some difficulty, as she remembered nothing of the rooms +below, and she could not at first find a servant. But a man at last +did come to her in the hall, and by him she was shown into the +drawing-room. Here she was alone for a few minutes. As she looked +about her, she thought that no room she had ever seen had less of the +comfort of habitation. It was not here that she had met Lady Aylmer +before dinner. There had, at any rate, been in that other room work +things, and the look of life which life gives to a room. But here +there was no life. The furniture was all in its place, and everything +was cold and grand and comfortless. They were making company of her +at Aylmer Park! + +Clara was intelligent in such matters, and understood it all +thoroughly. + +Lady Aylmer was the first person to come to her. 'I hope my maid has +been with you,' said she to which Clara muttered something intended +for thanks. 'You'll find Richards a very clever woman, and quite a +proper person.' + +'I don't at all doubt that.' + +'She has been here a good many years, and has perhaps little ways of +her own but she means to be obliging.' + +'I shall give her very little trouble, Lady Aylmer. I am used to +dress myself.' I am afraid this was not exactly true as to Clara's +past habits; but she could dress herself, and intended to do so in +future, and in this way justified the assertion to herself. + +'You had better let Richards come to you, my dear, while you are +here,' said Lady Aylmer, with a slight smile on her countenance which +outraged Clara more even than the words. 'We like to see young ladies +nicely dressed here.' To be told that she was to be nicely dressed +because she was at Aylmer Park! Her whole heart was already up in +rebellion. Do her best to please Lady Aylmer! It would be utterly +impossible to her to make any attempt whatever in that direction. +There was something in her ladyship's eye a certain mixture of +cunning, and power, and hardness in the slight smile that would +gather round her mouth, by which Clara was revolted. She already +understood much of Lady Aylmer, but in one thing she was mistaken. +She thought that she saw simply the natural woman; but she did, in +truth, see the woman specially armed with an intention of being +disagreeable, made up to give offence, and prepared to create dislike +and enmity. At the present moment nothing further was said, as +Captain Aylmer entered the room, and his mother immediately began to +talk to him in whispers. + +The first two days of Clara's sojourn at Aylmer Park passed by +without the occurrence of anything that was remarkable. That which +most surprised and annoyed her, as regarded her own position, was the +coldness of all the people around her, as connected with the actual +fact of her engagement. Sir Anthony was very courteous to her, but +had never as yet once alluded to the fact that she was to become one +of his family as his daughter-in-law. Lady Aylmer called her Miss +Amedroz using the name with a peculiar emphasis, as though determined +to show that Miss Amedroz was to be Miss Amedroz as far as any one at +Aylmer Park was concerned and treated her almost as though her +presence in the house was intrusive. Belinda was as cold as her +mother in her mother's presence; but when alone with Clara would thaw +a little. She, in her difficulty, studiously avoided calling the +new-corner by any name at all. As to Captain Aylmer, it was manifest +to Clara that he was suffering almost more than she suffered herself. +His position was so painful that she absolutely pitied him for the +misery to which he was subjected by his own mother. They still called +each other Frederic and Clara, and that was the only sign of special +friendship which manifested itself between them. And Clara, though +she pitied him, could not but learn to despise him. She had hitherto +given him credit at any rate for a will of his own. She had believed +him to be a man able to act in accordance with the dictates of his +own conscience. But now she perceived him to be so subject to his +mother that he did not dare to call his heart his own. What was to be +the end of it all? And if there could only be one end, would it not +be well that that end should be reached at once, so that she might +escape from her purgatory? + +But on the afternoon of the third day there seemed to have come a +change over Lady Aylmer. At lunch she was especially civil,--civil to +the extent of picking out herself for Clara, with her own fork, the +breast of a hashed fowl from a dish that was before her. This she did +with considerable care,--I may say, with a show of care; and then, +though she did not absolutely call Clara by her Christian name, she +did call her 'my dear'. Clara saw it all, and felt that the usual +placidity of the afternoon would be broken by some special event. At +three o'clock, when the carriage as usual came to the door, Belinda +was out of the way, and Clara was made to understand that she and +Lady Aylmer were to be driven out without any other companion. +'Belinda is a little busy, my dear. So, if you don't mind, we'll go +alone.' Clara of course assented, and got into the carriage with a +conviction that now she would hear her fate. She was rather inclined +to think that Lady Aylmer was about to tell her that she had failed +in obtaining the approbation of Aylmer Park, and that she must be +returned as goods of a description inferior to the order given. If +such were the case, the breast of the chicken had no doubt been +administered as consolation. Clara had endeavoured, since she had +been at Aylmer Park, to investigate her own feelings in reference to +Captain Aylmer; but had failed, and knew that she had failed. She +wished to think that she loved him, as she could not endure the +thought of having accepted a man whom she did not love. And she told +herself that he had done nothing to forfeit her love. A woman who +really loves will hardly allow that her love should be forfeited by +any fault. True love breeds forgiveness for all faults. And, after +all, of what fault had Captain Aylmer been guilty? He had preached to +her out of his mother's mouth. That had been all! She had first +accepted him, and then rejected him, and then accepted him again; and +now she would fain be firm, if firmness were only possible to her. +Nevertheless, if she were told that she was to be returned as +inferior, she would hold up her head under such disgrace as best she +might, and would not let the tidings break her heart. + +'My dear,' said Lady Aylmer, as soon as the trotting horses and +rolling wheels made noise enough to prevent her words from reaching +the servants on the box. 'I want to say a few words to you and I +think that this will be a good opportunity.' + +'A very good opportunity,' said Clara. + +'Of course, my dear, you are aware that I have heard of something +going on between you and my son Frederic.' Now that Lady Aylmer had +taught herself to call Clara 'my dear', it seemed that she could +hardly call her so often enough. + +'Of course I know that Captain Aylmer has told you of our engagement. +But for that, I should not be here.' + +'I don't know how that might be,' said Lady Aylmer; 'but at any rate, +my dear, he has told me that since the day of my sister's death there +has been--in point of fact, a sort of engagement.' + +'I don't think Captain Aylmer has spoken of it in that way.' + +'In what way? Of course he has not said a word that was not nice and +lover-like, and all that sort of thing. I believe he would have done +anything in the world that his aunt had told him; and as to his--' + +'Lady Aylmer!' said Clara, feeling that her voice was almost +trembling with anger,' I am sure you cannot intend to be unkind to +me?' + +'Certainly not.' + +'Or to insult me?' + +'Insult you, my dear! You should not use such strong words, my dear; +indeed you should not. Nothing of the kind is near my thoughts.' + +'If you disapprove of my marrying your son, tell me so at once, and I +shall know what to do.' + +'It depends, my dear it depends on circumstances, and that is just +why I want to speak to you.' + +'Then tell me the circumstances though indeed I think it would have +been better if they could have been told to me by Captain Aylmer +himself.' + +'There, my dear, you must allow me to judge. As a mother, of course I +am anxious for my son. Now Frederic is a poor man. Considering the +kind of society in which he has to live, and the position which he +must maintain as a Member of Parliament, he is a very poor man.' + +This was an argument which Clara certainly had not expected that any +of the Aylmer family would condescend to use. She had always regarded +Captain Aylmer as a rich man since he had inherited Mrs Winterfield's +property, knowing that previously to that he had been able to live in +London as rich men usually do live. 'Is he?' said she. 'It may seem +odd to you, Lady Aylmer, but I do not think that a word has ever +passed between me and your son as to the amount of his income.' + +'Not odd at all, my dear. Young ladies are always thoughtless about +those things, and when they are looking to be married think that +money will come out of the skies.' + +'If you mean that I have been looking to be married--' + +'Well;--expecting. I suppose you have been expecting it.' Then she +paused; but as Clara said nothing, she went on. 'Of course, Frederic +has got my sister's moiety of the Perivale property;--about eight +hundred a year, or something of that sort, when all deductions are +made. He will have the moiety when I die, and if you and he can be +satisfied to wait for that event,--which may not perhaps be very +long--'. Then there was another pause, indicative of the melancholy +natural to such a suggestion, during which Clara looked at Lady +Aylmer, and made up her mind that her ladyship would live for the +next twenty-five years at least. 'If you can wait for that,' she +continued, it may be all very well, and though you will be poor +people, in Frederic's rank of life, you will be able to live.' + +'That will be so far fortunate,' said Clara. + +'But you'll have to wait,' said Lady Aylmer, turning upon her +companion almost fiercely. 'That is, you certainly will have to do so +if you are to depend upon Frederic's income alone.' + +'I have nothing of my own as he knows; absolutely nothing.' + +'That does not seem to be quite so clear,' said Lady Aylmer, speaking +now very cautiously or rather with a purpose of great caution; 'I +don't think that that is quite so clear. Frederic has been telling me +that there seems to be some sort of a doubt about the settlement of +the Belton estate.' + +'There is no sort of doubt whatsoever no shadow of a doubt. He is +quite mistaken.' + +'Don't be in such a hurry, my dear. It is not likely that you +yourself should be a very good lawyer.' + +'Lady Aylmer, I must be in a hurry lest there should be any mistake +about this. There is no question here for lawyers. Frederic must have +been misled by a word or two which I said to him with quite another +purpose. Everybody concerned knows that the Belton estate goes to my +cousin Will. My poor father was quite aware of it.' + +'That is all very well; and pray remember, my dear, that you need not +attack me in this way. I am endeavouring, if possible, to arrange the +accomplishment of your own wishes. It seems that Mr Belton himself +does not claim the property.' + +'There is no question of claiming. Because he is a man more generous +than any other person in the world,--romantically generous he has +offered to give me the property which was my father's for his +lifetime; but I do not suppose that you would wish, or that Captain +Aylmer would wish, that I should accept such an offer as that.' There +was a tone in her voice as she said this, and a glance in her eye as +she turned her face full upon her companion, which almost prevailed +against Lady Aylmer's force of character. + +'I really don't know, my dear,' said Lady Aylmer. 'You are so +violent.' + +'I certainly am eager about this. No consideration on earth would +induce me to take my cousin's property from him.' + +'It always seemed to me that that entail was a most unfair +proceeding.' + +'What would it signify even if it were which it was not? Papa got +certain advantages on those conditions. But what can all that matter? +It belongs to Will Belton.' + +Then there was another pause, and Clara thought that that subject was +over between them. But Lady Aylmer had not as yet completed her +purpose. Shall I tell you, my dear, what I think you ought to do?' + +'Certainly, Lady Aylmer; if you wish it.' + +'I can at any rate tell you what it would become any young lady to do +under such circumstances. I suppose you will give me credit for +knowing as much as that. Any young lady placed as you are would be +recommended by her friends if she had friends able and fit to give +her advice to put the whole matter into the hands of her natural +friends and her lawyer together. Hear me out, my dear, if you please. +At least you can do that for me, as I am taking a great deal of +trouble on your behalf. You should let Frederic see Mr Green. I +understand that Mr Green was your father's lawyer. And then Mr Green +can see Mr Belton. And so the matter can be arranged. It seems to me, +from what I hear, that in this way, and in this way only; something +can be done as to the proposed marriage. In no other way can anything +be done.' + +Then Lady Aylmer had finished her argument, and throwing herself back +into the carriage, seemed to intimate that she desired no reply. She +had believed and did believe that her guest was so intent upon +marrying her son, that no struggle would be regarded as too great for +the achievement of that object. And such belief was natural on her +part. Mothers always so think of girls engaged to their sons, and so +think especially when the girls are penniless and the sons are +well-to-do in the world. But such belief, though it is natural, is +sometimes wrong and it was altogether wrong in this instance. 'Then,' +said Clara, speaking very plainly,' nothing can be done.' + +'Very well, my dear.' + +After that there was not a word said between them till the carriage +was once more within the park. Then Lady Aylmer spoke again. 'I +presume you see, my dear, that under these circumstances any thought +of marriage between you and my son must be quite out of the question +at any rate for a great many years.' + +'I will speak to Captain Aylmer about it, Lady Aylmer.' + +'Very well, my dear. So do. Of course he is his own master. But he is +my son as well, and I cannot see him sacrificed without an effort to +save him.' + +When Clara came down to dinner on that day she was again Miss +Amedroz, and she could perceive from Belinda's manner quite as +plainly as from that of her ladyship that she was to have no more +tit-bits of hashed chicken specially picked out for her by Lady +Aylmer's own fork. That evening and the two next days passed, just +as had passed the two first days, and everything was dull, cold, and +uncomfortable. Twice she had walked out with Frederic, and on each +occasion had thought that he would refer to what his mother had said; +but he did not venture to touch upon the subject. Clara more than +once thought that she would do so herself; but when the moment came +she found that it was impossible. She could not bring herself to say +anything that should have had the appearance of a desire on her part +to hurry on a marriage. She could not say to him, 'If you are too +poor to be married or even if you mean to put forward that pretence +say so at once.' He still called her Clara, and still asked her to +walk with him, and still talked, when they were alone together, in a +distant cold way, of the events of their future combined life. Would +they live at Perivale? Would it be necessary to refurnish the house? +Should he keep any of the land on his own hands? These are all +interesting subjects of discussion between an engaged man and the +girl to whom he is engaged; but the man, if he wish to make them +thoroughly pleasant to the lady, should throw something of the +urgency of a determined and immediate purpose into the discussion. +Something should be said as to the actual destination of the rooms. A +day should be fixed for choosing the furnishing. Or the gentleman +should declare that he will at once buy the cows for the farm. But +with Frederic Aylmer all discussions seemed to point to some cold, +distant future, to which Clara might look forward as she did to the +joys of heaven. Will Belton would have bought the ring long since, +and bespoken the priest, and arranged every detail of the honeymoon, +tour and very probably would have stood looking into a cradle shop +with longing eyes. + +At last there came an absolute necessity for some plain speaking. +Captain Aylmer declared his intention of returning to London that he +might resume his parliamentary duties. He had purposed to remain till +after Easter, but it was found to be impossible. 'I find I must go up +tomorrow,' he said at breakfast. 'They are going to make a stand +about the poor-rates, and I must be in the House in the evening.' +Clara felt herself to be very cold and uncomfortable. As things were +at present arranged, she was to be left at Aylmer Park without a +friend. And how long was she to remain there? No definite ending had +been proposed for her visit. Something must be said and something +settled before Captain Aylmer went away. + +'You will come down for Easter, of course,' said his mother. + +'Yes; I shall come down for Easter, I think or at any rate at +Whitsuntide.' + +'You must come at Easter, Frederic,' said his mother. + +'I don't doubt but I shall,' said he. + +'Miss Amedroz should lay her commands upon him,' said Sir Anthony +gallantly. + +'Nonsense,' said Lady Aylmer. + +'I have commands to lay upon him all the same,' said Clara; 'and if +he will give me half an hour this morning he shall have them.' To +this Captain Aylmer, of course, assented as how could he escape from +such assent and a regular appointment was made, Captain Aylmer and +Miss Amedroz were to be closeted together in the little back +drawing-room immediately after breakfast. Clara would willingly have +avoided any such formality could she have done so compatibly with the +exigencies of the occasion. She had been obliged to assert herself +when Lady Aylmer had rebuked Sir Anthony, and then Lady Aylmer had +determined that an air of business should be assumed. Clara, as she +was marched off into the back drawing-room followed by her lover with +more sheep-like gait even than her own, felt strongly the absurdity +and the wretchedness of her position. But she was determined to go +through with her purpose. + +'I am very sorry that I have to leave you so soon,' said Captain +Aylmer, as soon as the door was shut and they were alone together. + +'Perhaps it may be better as it is, Frederic; as in this way we shall +all come to understand each other, and something will be settled.' + +'Well, yes; perhaps that will be best.' + +'Your mother has told me that she disapproves of our marriage.' + +'No; not that, I think, I don't think she can have quite said that.' + +'She says that you cannot marry while she is alive that is, that you +cannot marry me because your income would not be sufficient.' + +'I certainly was speaking to her about my income.' + +'Of course I have got nothing.' Here she paused. 'Not a penny-piece +in the world that I can call my own.' + +'Oh yes, you have.' + +'Nothing. Nothing!' + +'You have your aunt's legacy?' + +'No; I have not. She left me no legacy. But as that is between you +and me, if we think of marrying each other, that would make no +difference.' + +'None at all, of course.' + +'But in truth I have got nothing. Your mother said something to me +about the Belton estate; as though there was some idea that possibly +it might come to me.' + +'Your cousin himself seemed to think so.' + +'Frederic, do not let us deceive ourselves. There can be nothing of +the kind. I could not accept any portion of the property from my +cousin even though our marriage were to depend upon it.' + +'Of course it does not.' + +'But if your means are not sufficient for your wants I am quite ready +to accept that reason as being sufficient for breaking our +engagement.' + +'There need be nothing of the kind.' + +'As for waiting for the death of another person for your mother's +death, I should think it very wrong. Of course, if our engagement +stands there need be no hurry; but some time should be fixed.' Clara +as she said this felt that her face and forehead were suffused with a +blush; but she was determined that it should be said, and the words +were pronounced. + +'I quite think so too,' said he. + +'I am glad that we agree. Of course, I will leave it to you to fix +the time.' + +'You do not mean at this very moment?' said Captain Aylmer, almost +aghast. + +'No; I did not mean that.' + +'I'll tell you what. I'll make a point of coming down at Easter. I +wasn't sure about it before, but now I will be. And then it shall be +settled.' + +Such was the interview; and on the next morning Captain Aylmer +started for London. Clara felt, aware that she had not done or said +all that should have been done and said; but, nevertheless, a step in +the right direction had been taken. + + + +CHAPTER XXVI + +THE AYLMER PARK HASHED CHICKEN COMES TO AN END + +Easter in this year fell about the middle of April, and it still +wanted three weeks of that time when Captain Aylmer started for +London. Clara was quite alive to the fact that the next three weeks +would not be a happy time for her. She looked forward, indeed, to so +much wretchedness during this period, that the days as they came were +not quite so bad as she had expected them to be. At first Lady Aylmer +said little or nothing to her. It seemed to be agreed between them +that there was to be war, but that there was no necessity for any of +the actual operations of war during the absence of Captain Aylmer. +Clara had become Miss Amedroz again; and though an offer to be driven +out in the carriage was made to her every day, she was in general +able to escape the infliction so that at last it came to be +understood that Miss Amedroz did not like carriage exercise. She has +never been used to it,' said Lady Aylmer to her daughter. 'I suppose +not,' said Belinda; 'but if she wasn't so very cross she'd enjoy it +just for that reason.' Clara sometimes walked about the grounds with +Belinda, but on such occasions there was hardly anything that could +be called conversation between them, and Frederic Aylmer's name was +never mentioned. + +Captain Aylmer had not been gone many days before she received a +letter from her cousin, in which he spoke with absolute certainty of +his intention of giving up the estate. He had, he said, consulted Mr +Green, and the thing was to be done. 'But it will be better, I +think,' he went on to say, 'that I should manage it for you till +after your marriage. I simply mean what I say. You are not to suppose +that I shall interfere in any way afterwards. Of course there will be +a settlement, as to which I hope you will allow me to see Mr Green on +your behalf.' In the first draught of his letter he had inserted a +sentence in which he expressed a wish that the property should be so +settled that it might at last all come to some one bearing the name +of Belton. But as he read this over, the condition for coming from +him it would be a condition seemed to him to be ungenerous, and he +expunged it. 'What does it matter who has it,' he said to himself +bitterly, 'or what he is called? I will never set eyes upon his +children, nor yet upon the place when he has become the master of +it.' Clara wrote both to her cousin and to the lawyer, repeating her +assurance with great violence, as Lady Aylmer would have said that +she would have nothing to with the Belton estate. She told Mr Green +that it would be useless for him to draw up any deeds. 'It can't be +made mine unless I choose to have it,' she said, 'and I don't choose +to have it.' Then there came upon her a terrible fear. What if she +should marry Captain Aylmer after all; and what if he, when he should +be her husband, should take the property on her behalf! Something +must be done before her marriage to prevent the possibility of such +results something as to the efficacy of which for such prevention she +could feel altogether certain. + +But could she marry Captain Aylmer at all in her present mood? During +these three weeks she was unconsciously teaching herself to hope that +she might be relieved from her engagement. She did not love him. She +was becoming aware that she did not love him. She was beginning to +doubt whether, in truth, she had ever loved him. But yet she felt +that she could not escape from her engagement if he should show +himself to be really actuated by any fixed purpose to carry it out; +nor could she bring herself to be so weak before Lady Aylmer as to +seem to yield. The necessity of not striking her colours was forced +upon her by the warfare to which she was subjected. She was unhappy, +feeling that her present position in life was bad, and unworthy of +her. She could have brought herself almost to run away from Aylmer +Park, as a boy runs away from school, were it not that she had no +place to which to run. She could not very well make her appearance at +Plaistow Hall, and say that she had come there for shelter and +succour. She could, indeed, go to Mrs Askerton's cottage for awhile; +and the more she thought of the state of her affairs, the more did +she feel sure that that would, before long, be her destiny. It must +be her destiny unless Captain Aylmer should return at Easter with +purposes so firmly fixed that even his mother should not be able to +prevail against them. + +And now, in these days, circumstances gave her a new friend or +perhaps, rather, a new acquaintance, where she certainly had looked +neither for the one or for the other. Lady Aylmer and Belinda and the +carriage and the horses used, as I have said, to go off without her. +This would take place soon after luncheon. Most of us know how the +events of the day drag themselves on tediously in such a country +house as Aylmer Park--a country house in which people neither read, +nor flirt, nor gamble, nor smoke, nor have resort to the excitement +of any special amusement. Lunch was on the table at half-past one, +and the carriage was at the door at three. Eating and drinking and +the putting on of bonnets occupied the hour and a half. From +breakfast to lunch Lady Aylmer, with her old 'front', would occupy +herself with her household accounts. For some days after Clara's +arrival she put on her new 'front' before lunch; but of late since +the long conversation in the carriage the new 'front' did not appear +till she came down for the carriage. According to the theory of her +life, she was never to be seen by any but her own family in her old +'front'. At breakfast she would appear with head so mysteriously +enveloped with such a bewilderment of morning caps that old 'front' +or new 'front' was all the same. When Sir Anthony perceived this +change when he saw that Clara was treated as though she belonged to +Aylmer Park then he told himself that his son's marriage with Miss +Amedroz was to be; and, as Miss Amedroz seemed to him to be a very +pleasant young woman, he would creep out of his own quarters when the +carriage was gone and have a little chat with her being careful to +creep away again before her ladyship's return. This was Clara's new +friend. + +'Have you heard from Fred since he has been gone?' the old man asked +one day, when he had come upon Clara still seated in the parlour in +which they had lunched. He had been out, at the front of the house, +scolding the under-gardener; but the man had taken away his barrow +and left him, and Sir Anthony had found himself without employment. + +'Only a line to say that he is to be here on the sixteenth.' + +'I don't think people write so many love-letters as they did when I +was young,' said Sir Anthony. + +'To judge from the novels, I should think not. The old novels used to +be full of love-letters.' + +'Fred was never good at writing, I think.' + +'Members of Parliament have too much to do, I suppose,' said Clara. + +'But he always writes when there is any business. He's a capital man +of business. I wish I could say as much for his brother or for +myself.' + +'Lady Aylmer seems to like work of that sort.' + +'So she does. She's fond of it I am not. I sometimes think that Fred +takes after her. Where was it you first knew him?' + +'At Perivale. We used, both of us, to be staying with Mrs +Winterfield.' + +'Yes, yes; of course. The most natural thing in life. Well, my dear, +I can assure you that I am quite satisfied.' + +'Thank you, Sir Anthony. I'm glad to hear you say even as much as +that.' + +'Of course money is very desirable for a man situated like Fred; but +he'll have enough, and if he is pleased, I am. Personally, as regards +yourself, I am more than pleased. I am indeed.' + +'It's very good of you to say so.' + +Sir Anthony looked at Clara, and his heart was softened towards her +as he saw that there was a tear in her eye. A man's heart must be +very hard when it does not become softened by the trouble of a woman +with whom he finds himself alone. 'I don't know how you and Lady +Aylmer get on together,' he said; 'but it will not be my fault if we +are not friends.' + +'I am afraid that Lady Aylmer does not like me,' said Clara. + +'Indeed. I was afraid there was something of that. But you must +remember she is hard to please. You'll find she'll come round in +time.' + +'She thinks that Captain Aylmer should not marry a woman without +money.' + +'That's all very well; but I don't see why Fred shouldn't please +himself, He's old enough to know what he wants.' + +'Is he, Sir Anthony? That's just the question. I'm not quite sure +that he does know what he wants.' + +'Fred doesn't know, do you mean?' + +'I don't quite think he does, sir. And the worst of it is, I am in +doubt as well as he.' + +'In doubt about marrying him?' + +'In doubt whether it will be good for him or for any of us. I don't +like to come into a family that does not desire to have me.' + +'You shouldn't think so much of Lady Aylmer as all that, my dear.' + +'But I do think a great deal of her.' + +'I shall be very glad to have you as a daughter-in-law. And as for +Lady Aylmer between you and me, my dear, you shouldn't take every +word she says so much to heart. She's the best woman in the world, +and I'm sure I'm bound to say so. But she has her temper, you know; +and I don't think you ought to give way to her altogether. There's +the carriage. It won't do you any good if we're found together +talking over it all; will it?' Then the baronet hobbled off, and Lady +Aylmer, when she entered the room, found Clara sitting alone. + +Whether it was that the wife was clever enough to extract from her +husband something of the conversation that had passed between him and +Clara, or whether she had some other source of information or whether +her conduct might proceed from other grounds, we need not inquire; +but from that afternoon Lady Aylmer's manner and words to Clara +became much less courteous than they had been before. She would +always speak as though some great iniquity was being committed, and +went about the house with a portentous frown, as though some terrible +measure must soon be taken with the object of putting an end to the +present extremely improper state of things. All this was so manifest +to Clara, that she said to Sir Anthony one day that she could no +longer bear the look of Lady Aylmer's displeasure and that she would +be forced to leave Aylmer Park before Frederic's return, unless the +evil were mitigated. She had by this time told Sir Anthony that she +much doubted whether the marriage would be possible, and that she +really believed that it would be best for all parties that the idea +should be abandoned. Sir Anthony, when he heard this, could only +shake his head and hobble away. The trouble was too deep for him to +cure. + +But Clara still held on; and now there wanted but two days to Captain +Aylmer's return, when, all suddenly, there arose a terrible storm at +Aylmer Park, and then came a direct and positive quarrel between Lady +Aylmer and Clara a quarrel direct and positive and, on the part of +both ladies, very violent. + +Nothing had hitherto been said at Aylmer Park about Mrs Askerton +nothing, that is, since Clara's arrival. And Clara had been thankful +for this silence. The letter which Captain Aylmer had written to her +about Mrs Askerton will perhaps be remembered, and Clara's answer to +that letter. The Aylmer Park opinion as to this poor woman, and as to +Clara's future conduct towards the poor woman, had been expressed +very strongly; and Clara had as strongly resolved that she would not +be guided by Aylmer Park opinions in that matter. She had anticipated +much that was disagreeable on this subject, and had therefore +congratulated herself not a little on the absence of all allusion to +it. But Lady Aylmer had, in truth, kept Mrs Askerton in reserve, as a +battery to be used against Miss Amedroz if all other modes of attack +should fail as a weapon which would be powerful when other weapons +had been powerless. For a while she had thought it possible that +Clara might be the owner of the Belton estate, and then it had been +worth the careful mother's while to be prepared to accept a +daughter-in-law so dowered. We have seen how the question of such +ownership had enabled her to put forward the plea of poverty which +she had used on her son's behalf. But since that, Frederic had +declared his intention of marrying the young woman in spite of his +poverty, and Clara seemed to be equally determined. 'He has been fool +enough to speak the word, and she is determined to keep him to it,' +said Lady Aylmer to her daughter. Therefore the Askerton battery was +brought to bear not altogether unsuccessfully. + +The three ladies were sitting together in the drawing-room, and had +been as mute as fishes for half an hour. In these sittings they were +generally very silent, speaking only in short little sentences. 'Will +you drive with us today, Miss Amedroz?' 'Not today, I think, Lady +Aylmer.' 'As you are reading, perhaps you won't mind our leaving +you?' 'Pray do not put yourself to inconvenience for me, Miss +Aylmer,' Such and such like was their conversation; but on a sudden, +after a full half-hour's positive silence, Lady Aylmer asked a +question altogether of another kind. 'I think, Miss Amedroz, my son +wrote to you about a certain Mrs Askerton?' + +Clara put down her work and sat for a moment almost astonished. It +was not only that Lady Aylmer had asked so very disagreeable a +question, but that she had asked it with so peculiar a voice a voice +as it were a command, in a manner that was evidently intended to be +taken as serious, and with a look of authority in her eye, as though +she were resolved that this battery of hers should knock the enemy +absolutely in the dust! Belinda gave a little spring in her chair, +looked intently at her work, and went on stitching faster than +before. 'Yes, he did,' said Clara, finding that an answer was +imperatively demanded from her. + +'It was quite necessary that he should write. I believe it to be an +undoubted fact that Mrs Askerton is is is not at all what she ought +to be.' + +'Which of us is what we ought to be?' said Clara. + +'Miss Amedroz, on this subject I am not at all inclined to joke. Is +it not true that Mrs Askerton--' + +'You must excuse me, Lady Aylmer, but what I know of Mrs Askerton, I +know altogether in confidence; so that I cannot speak to you of her +past life.' + +'But, Miss Amedroz, pray excuse me if I say that I must speak of it. +When I remember the position in which you do us the honour of being +our visitor here, how can I help speaking of it?' Belinda was +stitching very hard, and would not even raise her eyes. Clara, who +still held her needle in her hand, resumed her work, and for a moment +or two made no further answer. But Lady Aylmer had by no means +completed her task. 'Miss Amedroz,' she said, 'you must allow me to +judge for myself in this matter. The subject is one on which I feel +myself obliged to speak to you.' + +'But I have got nothing to say about it.' + +'You have, I believe, admitted the truth of the allegations made by +us as to this woman.' Clara was becoming very angry. A red spot +showed itself on each cheek, and a frown settled upon her brow. She +did not as yet know what she would say or how she would conduct +herself. She was striving to consider how best she might assert her +own independence. But she was fully determined that in this matter +she would not bend an inch to Lady Aylmer. 'I believe we may take +that as admitted?', said her ladyship. + +'I am not aware that I have admitted anything to you, Lady Aylmer, or +said anything that can justify you in questioning me on the subject.' + +'Justify me in questioning a young woman who tells me that she is to +be my future daughter-in-law!' + +'I have not told you so. I have never told you anything of the kind.' + +'Then on what footing, Miss Amedroz, do you do us the honour of being +with us here at Aylmer Park?' + +'On a very foolish footing.' + +'On a foolish footing! What does that mean?' + +'It means that I have been foolish in coming to a house in which I am +subjected to such questioning.' + +'Belinda, did you ever hear anything like this? Miss Amedroz, I must +persevere, however much you may dislike it. The story of this woman's +life whether she be Mrs Askerton or not, I don't know--' + +'She is Mrs Askerton,' said Clara. + +'As to that I do not profess to know, and I dare say that you are no +wiser than myself. But what she has been we do know.' Here Lady +Aylmer raised her voice and continued to speak with all the eloquence +which assumed indignation could give her. 'What she has been we do +know, and I ask you, as a duty which I own to my son, whether you +have put an end to your acquaintance with so very disreputable a +person a person whom even to have known is a disgrace?' + +'I know her, and--' + +'Stop one minute, if you please. My questions are these--Have you put +an end to that acquaintance? Are you ready to give a promise that it +shall never be resumed? + +'I have not put an end to that acquaintance,--or rather that +affectionate friendship as I should call it, and I am ready to +promise that it shall be maintained with all my heart.' + +'Belinda, do you hear her?' + +'Yes, mamma.' And Belinda slowly shook her head, which was now bowed +lower than ever over her lap. + +'And that is your resolution?' + +'Yes, Lady Aylmer; that is my resolution.' + +'And you think that becoming to you, as a young woman?' + +'Just so; I think that becoming to me as a young woman.' + +'Then let me tell you, Miss Amedroz, that I differ from you +altogether altogether.' Lady Aylmer, as she repeated the last word, +raised her folded hands as though she were calling upon heaven to +witness how thoroughly she differed from the young woman! + +'I don't see how I am to help that, Lady Aylmer. I dare say we may +differ on many subjects.' + +'I dare say we do. I dare say we do. And I need not point out to you +how very little that would be a matter of regret to me but for the +hold you have upon my unfortunate son.' + +'Hold upon him, Lady Aylmer! How dare you insult me by such +language?' Hereupon Belinda again jumped in her chair; but Lady +Aylmer looked as though she enjoyed the storm. + +'You undoubtedly have a hold upon him, Miss Amedroz, and I think that +it is a great misfortune. Of course, when he hears what your conduct +is with reference to this person, he will release himself from his +entanglement.' + +'He can release himself from his entanglement whenever he chooses,' +said Clara, rising from her chair. 'Indeed, he is released. I shall +let Captain Aylmer know that our engagement must be at an end, unless +he will promise that I shall never in future be subjected to the +unwarrantable insolence of his mother.' Then she walked off to the +door, not regarding, and indeed not hearing, the parting shot that +was fired at her. + +And now what was to be done! Clara went up to her own room, making +herself strong and even comfortable, with an inward assurance that +nothing should ever induce her even to sit down to table again with +Lady Aylmer. She would not willingly enter the same room with Lady +Aylmer, or have any speech with her. But what should she at once do? +She could not very well leave Aylmer Park without settling whither +she would go; nor could she in any way manage to leave the house on +that afternoon. She almost resolved that she would go to Mrs +Askerton. Everything was of course over between her and Captain +Aylmer, and therefore there was no longer any hindrance to her doing +so on that score. But what would be her Cousin Will's wish? He, now, +was the only friend to whom she could trust for good counsel. What +would be his advice? Should she write and ask him? No she could not +do that. She could not bring herself to write to him, telling him +that the Aylmer 'entanglement' was at an end. Were she to do so, he, +with his temperament, would take such letter as meaning much more +than it was intended to mean. But she would write a letter to Captain +Aylmer. This she thought that she would do at once, and she began it. + +She got as far as 'My dear Captain Aylmer,' and then she found that +the letter was one which could not be written very easily. And she +remembered, as the greatness of the difficulty of writing the letter +became plain to her, that it could not now be sent so as to reach +Captain Aylmer before he would leave London. If written at all, it +must be addressed to him at Aylmer Park, and the task might be done +tomorrow as well as today. So that task was given up for the present. + +But she did write a letter to Mrs Askerton a letter which she would +send or not on the morrow, according to the state of her mind as it +might then be. In this she declared her purpose of leaving Aylmer +Park on the day after Captain Aylmer's arrival, and asked to be taken +in at the cottage. An answer was to be sent to her, addressed to the +Great Northern Railway Hotel. + +Richards, the maid, came up to her before dinner, with offers of +assistance for dressing offers made in a tone which left no doubt on +Clara's mind that Richards knew all about the quarrel. But Clara +declined to be dressed, and sent down a message saying that she would +remain in her room, and begging to be supplied with tea. She would +not even condescend to say that she was troubled with a headache. +Then Belinda came up to her, just before dinner was announced, and +with a fluttered gravity advised Miss Amedroz to come down-stairs. +'Mamma thinks it will be much better that you should show yourself, +let the final result be what it may.' + +'But I have not the slightest desire to show myself.' + +'There are the servants, you know.' + +'But, Miss Aylmer, I don't care a straw for the servants really not a +straw.' + +'And papa will feel it so.' + +'I shall be sorry if Sir Anthony is annoyed but I cannot help it. It +has not been my doing.' + +'And mamma says that my brother would of course wish it.' + +'After what your mother has done, I don't see what his wishes would +have to do with it,--even if she knew them,--which I don't think she +does.' + +'But if you will think of it, I'm sure you'll find it is the proper +thing to do. There is nothing to be avoided so much as an open +quarrel, that all the servants can see.' + +'I must say, Miss Aylmer, that I disregard the servants. After what +passed down-stairs, of course I have had to consider what I should do. +Will you tell your mother that I will stay here, if she will permit +it?' + +'Of course. She will be delighted.' + +'I will remain, if she will permit it, till the morning after Captain +Aylmer's arrival. Then I shall go.' + +'Where to, Miss Amedroz?' + +'I have already written to a friend, asking her to receive me.' + +Miss Aylmer paused a moment before she asked her next question but +she did ask it, showing by her tone and manner that she had been +driven to summon up all her courage to enable her to do so. 'To what +friend, Miss Amedroz? Mamma will be glad to know.' + +'That is a question which Lady Aylmer can have no right to ask,' said +Clara. + +'Oh very well. Of course, if you don't like to tell, there's no more +to be said.' + +'I do not like to tell, Miss Aylmer.' + +Clara had her tea in her room that evening, and lived there the whole +of the next day. The family down-stairs was not comfortable. Sir +Anthony could not be made to understand why his guest kept her +room,--which was not odd, as Lady Aylmer was very sparing in the +information she gave him; and Belinda found it to be impossible to sit +at table, or to say a few words to her father and mother, without +showing at every moment her consciousness that a crisis had occurred. +By the next day's post the letter to Mrs Askerton was sent, and at the +appointed time Captain Aylmer arrived. About an hour after he entered +the house, Belinda went up-stairs with a message from him;--would Miss +Amedroz see him? Miss Amedroz would see him, but made it a condition +of doing so that she should not be required to meet Lady Aylmer. She +need not be afraid,' said Lady Aylmer. 'Unless she sends me a full +apology, with a promise that she will have no further intercourse +whatever with that woman, I will never willingly see her again.' A +meeting was therefore arranged between Captain Aylmer and Miss +Amedroz in a sitting-room upstairs. + +'What is all this, Clara?' said Captain Aylmer, at once. + +'Simply this that your mother has insulted me most wantonly.' + +'She says that it is you who have been uncourteous to her.' + +'Be it so you can of course believe whichever you please, and it is +desirable, no doubt, that you should prefer to believe your mother.' + +'But I do not wish there to be any quarrel.' + +'But there is a quarrel, Captain Aylmer, and I must leave your +father's house. I cannot stay here after what has taken place. Your +mother told me I cannot tell you what she told me, but she made +against me just those accusations which she knew it would be the +hardest for me to bear.' + +'I'm sure you have mistaken her.' + +'No; I have not mistaken her.' + +'And where do you propose to go?' + +'To Mrs Askerton.' + +'Oh, Clara!' + +'I have written to Mrs Askerton to ask her to receive me for awhile. +Indeed, I may almost say that I had no other choice.' + +'If you go there, Clara, there will be an end to everything.' + +'And there must be an end of what you call everything, Captain +Aylmer,' said she, smiling. 'It cannot be for your good to bring into +your family a wife of whom your mother would think so badly as she +thinks of me.' + +There was a great deal said, and Captain Aylmer walked very often up +and down the room, endeavouring to make some arrangement which might +seem in some sort to appease his mother. Would Clara only allow a +telegram to be sent to Mrs Askerton, to explain that she had changed +her mind? But Clara would allow no such telegram to be sent, and on +that evening she packed up all her things. Captain Aylmer saw her +again and again, sending Belinda backwards and forwards, and making +different appointments up to midnight; but it was all to no purpose, +and on the next morning she took her departure alone in the Aylmer +Park carriage for the railway station. Captain Aylmer had proposed to +go with her; but she had so stoutly declined his company that he was +obliged to abandon his intention. She saw neither of the ladies on +that morning, but Sir Anthony came out to say a word of farewell to +her in the hall. 'I am very sorry for all this,' said he. 'It is a +pity,' said Clara, 'but it cannot be helped. Good-bye, Sir Anthony.' +'I hope we may meet again under pleasanter circumstances,' said the +baronet. To this Clara made no reply, and was then handed into the +carriage by Captain Aylmer. + +'I am so bewildered,' said he, 'that I cannot now say anything +definite, but I shall write to you, and probably follow you.' + +'Do not follow me, pray, Captain Aylmer,' said she, Then she was +driven to the station; and as she passed through the lodges of the +park entrance she took what she intended to be a final farewell of +Aylmer Park. + + + +CHAPTER XXVII + +ONCE MORE BACK TO BELTON + +When the carriage was driven away, Sir Anthony and Captain Aylmer +were left standing alone at the hall door of the house. The servants +had slunk off, and the father and son, looking at each other, felt +that they also must slink away, or else have some words together on +the subject of their guest's departure. The younger gentleman would +have preferred that there should be no words, but Sir Anthony was +curious to know something of what had passed in the house during the +last few days. 'I'm afraid things are not going quite comfortable,' +he said. + +'It seems to me, sir,' said his son, 'that things very seldom do go +quite comfortable.' + +'But, Fred what is it all about? Your mother says that Miss Amedroz +is behaving very badly.' + +'And Miss Amedroz says that my mother is behaving very badly.' + +'Of course that's only natural. And what do you say?' + +'I say nothing, sir. The less said the soonest mended.' + +'That's all very well; but it seems to me that you, in your position, +must say something. The long and the short of it is this. Is she to +be your wife?' + +'Upon my word, sir, I don't know.' + +They were still standing out under the portico, and as Sir Anthony +did not for a minute or two ask any further questions, Captain Aylmer +turned as though he were going into the house. But his father had +still a word or two to say. Stop a moment, Fred. I don't often +trouble you with advice.' + +'I'm sure I'm always glad to hear it when you offer any.' + +'I know very well that in most things your opinion is better than +mine. You've had advantages which I never had. But I've had more +experience than you, my dear boy. It stands to reason that in some +things I must have had more experience than you.' There was a tone of +melancholy in the father's voice as he said this which quite touched +his son, and which brought the two closer together out in the porch. +'Take my word for it,' continued Sir Anthony, 'that you are much +better off as you are than you could be with a wife.' + +'Do you mean to say that no man should marry?' + +'No I don't mean to say that. An eldest son ought to marry, so that +the property may have an heir. And poor men should marry, I suppose, +as they want wives to do for them. And sometimes, no doubt, a man +must marry when he has got to be very fond of a girl, and has +compromised himself, and all that kind of thing. I would never advise +any man to sully his honour.' As Sir Anthony said this he raised +himself a little with his two sticks and spoke out in a bolder voice. +The voice however, sank again as he descended from the realms of +honour to those of prudence. 'But none of these cases are yours, +Fred. To be sure you'll have the Perivale property; but that is not a +family estate, and you'll be much better off by turning it into +money. And in the way of comfort, you can be a great deal more +comfortable without a wife than you can with one. What do you want a +wife for? And then, as to Miss Amedroz,--for myself I must say that I +like her uncommonly. She has been very pleasant in her ways with me. +But somehow or another, I don't think you are so much in love with +her but what you can do without her.' Hereupon he paused and looked +his son full in the face. Fred had also been thinking of the matter +in his own way, and asking himself the same question,--whether he was +in truth so much in love with Clara that he could not live without +her. 'Of course I don't know,' continued Sir Anthony, 'what has +taken place just now between you and her, or what between her and +your mother; but I suppose the whole thing might fall through without +any further trouble to you,--or without anything unhandsome on your +part?' But Captain Aylmer still said nothing. The whole thing might, +no doubt, fall through, but he wished to be neither unjust nor +ungenerous,--and he specially wished to avoid anything unhandsome. +After a further pause of a few minutes, Sir Anthony went on again, +pouring forth the words of experience. 'Of course marriage is all +very well. I married rather early in life, and have always found your +mother to be a most excellent woman. A better woman doesn't breathe. +I'm as sure of that as I am of anything. But God bless me of course +you can see. I can't call anything my own. I'm tied down here and I +can't move. I've never got a shilling to spend, while all these lazy +hounds about the place are eating me up. There isn't a clerk with a +hundred a year in London that isn't better off than I am as regards +ready money. And what comfort have I in a big house, and no end of +gardens, and a place like this? What pleasures do I get out of it? +That comes of marrying and keeping up one's name in the county +respectably! What do I care for the county? D---- the county! I often +wish that I'd been a younger son as you are.' + +Captain Aylmer had no answer to make to all this. It was, no doubt, +the fact that age and good living had made Sir Anthony altogether +incapable of enjoying the kind of life which he desiderated, and that he +would probably have eaten and drunk himself into his grave long since +had that kind of life been within his reach. This, however, the son +could not explain to the father. But in fitting, as he endeavoured to +do, his father's words to his own case, Captain Aylmer did perceive +that a bachelor's life might perhaps be the most suitable to his own +peculiar case. Only he would do nothing unhandsome. As to that he was +quite resolved. Of course Clara must show herself to be in some +degree amenable to reason and to the ordinary rules of the world; but +he was aware that his mother was hot-tempered, and he generously +made up his mind that he would give Miss Amedroz even yet another +chance. + +At the hotel in London Clara found a short note from Mrs Askerton, in +which she was warmly assured that everything should be done to make +her comfortable at the cottage as long as she should wish to stay +there. But the very warmth of affection thus expressed made her +almost shrink from what she was about to do. Mrs Askerton was no +doubt anxious for her coming; but would her Cousin Will Belton +approve of the visit; and what would her Cousin Mary say about it? If +she was being driven into this step against her own approval, by the +insolence of Lady Aylmer if she was doing this thing simply because +Lady Aylmer had desired her not to do it, and was doing it in +opposition to the wishes of the man she had promised to marry as well +as to her own judgment, there could not but be cause for shrinking. +And yet she believed that she was right. If she could only have had +some one to tell her some one in whom she could trust implicitly to +direct her! She had hitherto been very much prone to rebel against +authority. Against her aunt she had rebelled, and against her father, +and against her lover. But now she wished with all her heart that +there might be some one to whom she could submit with perfect faith. +If she could only know what her Cousin Will would think. In him she +thought she could have trusted with that perfect faith if only he +would have been a brother to her. + +But it was too late now for doubting, and on the next day she found +herself getting out of the old Redicote fly, at Colonel Askerton's +door. He came out to meet her, and his greeting was very friendly. +Hitherto there had been no great intimacy between him and her, owing +rather to the manner of life adopted by him than to any cause of +mutual dislike between them. Mrs Askerton had shown herself desirous +of some social intercourse since she had been at Belton, but with +Colonel Askerton there had been nothing of this. He had come there +intending to live alone, and had been satisfied to carry out his +purpose. But now Clara had come to his house as a guest, and he +assumed towards her altogether a new manner. 'We are so glad to have +you,' he said, taking both her hands. Then she passed on into the +cottage, and in a minute was in her friend's arms. + +'Dear Clara;--dearest Clara, I am so glad to have you here.' + +'It is very good of you.' + +'No, dear; the goodness is with you to come. But we won't quarrel +about that. We will both be ever so good. And he is so happy that you +should be here. You'll get to know him now. But come up-stairs. +There's a fire in your room, and I'll be your maid for the +occasion,--because then we can talk.' Clara did as she was bid and went +up-stairs; and as she sat over the fire while her friend knelt beside +her,--for Mrs Askerton was given to such kneelings,--she could not but +tell herself that Belton Cottage was much more comfortable than +Aylmer Park. During the whole time of her sojourn at Aylmer Park no +word of real friendship had once greeted her ears. Everything there +had been cold and formal, till coldness and formality had given way +to violent insolence. + +'And so you have quarrelled with her ladyship,' said Mrs Askerton. 'I +knew you would.' + +'I have not said anything about quarrelling with her.' + +'But of course you have. Come, now; don't make yourself disagreeable. +You have had a downright battle have you not?' + +'Something very like it, I'm afraid.' + +'I am so glad,' said Mrs Askerton, rubbing her hands. + +'That is ill-natured.' + +'Very well. Let it be ill-natured. One isn't to be good-natured all +round, or what would be the use of it? And what sort of a woman is +she?' + +'Oh dear; I couldn't describe her. She is very large, and wears a +great wig, and manages everything herself, and I've no doubt she's a +very good woman in her own way.' + +'I can see her at once and a very pillar of virtue as regards +morality and going to church. Poor me! Does she know that you have +come here?' + +'I have no doubt she does. I did not tell her, nor would I tell her +daughter; but I told Captain Aylmer.' + +'That was right. That was very right. I'm so glad of that. But who +would doubt that you would show a proper spirit? And what did he +say?' + +'Not much, indeed.' + +'I won't trouble you about him. I don't in the least doubt but all +that will come right. And what sort of man is Sir Anthony?' + +'A common-place sort of a man; very gouty, and with none of his +wife's strength. I liked him the best of them all.' + +'Because you saw the least of him, I suppose.' + +'He was kind in his manner to me.' + +'And they were like she-dragons. I understand it all, and can see +them just as though I had been there. I felt that I knew what would +come of it when you first told me that you were going to Aylmer Park, +I did, indeed. I could have prophesied it all.' + +'What a pity you did not.' + +'It would have done no good and your going there has done good. It +has opened your eyes to more than one thing, I don't doubt. But tell +me have you told them in Norfolk that you were coming here?' + +'No I have not written to my cousin.' + +'Don't be angry with me if I tell you something. I have.' + +'Have what?' + +'I have told Mr Belton that you were coming here. It was in this way. +I had to write to him about our continuing in the cottage. Colonel +Askerton always makes me write if it's possible, and of course we +were obliged to settle something as to the place.' + +'I'm sorry you said anything about me.' + +'How could I help it? What would you have thought of me, or what +would he have thought, if, when writing to him, I had not mentioned +such a thing as your visit? Besides, it's much better that he should +know.' + +'I am sorry that you said anything about it.' + +'You are ashamed that he should know that you are here,' said Mrs +Askerton, in a tone of reproach. + +'Ashamed! No; I am not ashamed. But I would sooner that he had not +been told as yet. Of course he would have been told before long.' + +'But you are not angry with me?' + +'Angry! How can I be angry with any one who is so kind to me?' + +That evening passed by very pleasantly, and when she went again to +her own room, Clara was almost surprised to find how completely she +was at home. On the next day she and Mrs Askerton together went up to +the house, and roamed through all the rooms, and Clara seated herself +in all the accustomed chairs. On the sofa, just in the spot to which +Belton had thrown it, she found the key of the cellar. She took it up +in her hand, thinking that she would give it to the servant; but +again she put it back upon the sofa. It was his key, and he had left +it there, and if ever there came an occasion she would remind him +where he had put it. Then they went out to the cow, who was at her +ease in a little home paddock. + +'Dear Bessy,' said Clara, 'see how well she knows me.' But I think +the tame little beast would have known any one else as well who +had gone up to her as Clara did, with food in her hand. 'She is +quite as sacred as any cow that ever was worshipped among the +cow-worshippers,' said Mrs Askerton. I suppose they milk her and sell +the butter, but otherwise she is not regarded as an ordinary cow at +all.' 'Poor Bessy,' said Clara. 'I wish she had never come here. What +is to be done with her?' 'Done with her! She'll stay here till she +dies a natural death, and then a romantic pair of mourners will +follow her to her grave, mixing their sympathetic tears comfortably +as they talk of the old days; and in future years, Bessy will grow to +be a divinity of the past, never to be mentioned without tenderest +reminiscences. I have not the slightest difficulty in prophesying as +to Bessy's future life and posthumous honours.' They roamed about the +place the whole morning, through the garden and round the farm +buildings, and in and out of the house; and at every turn something +was said about Will Belton. But Clara would not go up to the rocks, +although Mrs Askerton more than once attempted to turn in that +direction. He had said that he never would go there again except +under certain circumstances. She knew that those circumstances would +never come to pass; but yet neither would she go there. She would +never go there till her cousin was married. Then, if in those days +she should ever be present at Belton Castle, she would creep up to +the spot all alone, and allow herself to think of the old days. + +On the following morning there came to her a letter bearing the +Downham post-mark but at the first glance she knew that it was not +from her Cousin Will. Will wrote with a bold round hand, that was +extremely plain and caligraphic when he allowed himself time for +the work in hand, as he did with the commencement of his epistles, +but which would become confused and altogether anti-caligraphic when +he fell into a hurry towards the end of his performance as was his +wont. But the address of this letter was written in a pretty, small, +female hand,--very careful in the perfection of every letter, and very +neat in every stroke. It was from Mary Briton, between whom and Clara +there had never hitherto been occasion for correspondence. The letter +was as follows:-- + + +'Plaistow Hall, April, 186--. + +'My Dear Cousin Clara, + +'William has heard from your friends at Belton, who are tenants on the +estate, and as to whom there seems to be some question whether they +are to remain. He has written, saying, I believe, that there need be +no difficulty if they wish to stay there. But we learn, also, from +Mrs Askerton's letter, that you are expected at the cottage, and +therefore I will address this to Belton, supposing that it may find +you there. + +'You and I have never yet known each other which has been a grief to +me; but this grief, I hope, may be cured some day before long. I +myself, as you know, am such a poor creature that I cannot go about +the world to see my friends as other people do at least, not very +well; and therefore I write to you with the object of asking you to +come and see me here. This is an interesting old house in its way; +and though I must not conceal from you that life here is very, very +quiet, I would do my best to make the days pass pleasantly with you. +I had heard that you were gone to Aylmer Park. Indeed, William told +me of his taking you up to London. Now it seems you have left +Yorkshire, and I suppose you will not return there very soon. If it +be so, will it not be well that you should come to me for a short +time? + +'Both William and I feel that just for the present for a little time +you would perhaps prefer to be alone with me. He must go to London +for awhile, and then on to Belton, to settle your affairs and his. He +intends to be absent for six weeks. If you would not be afraid of the +dullness of this house for so long a time, pray come to us. The +pleasure to me would be very great, and I hope that you have some of +that feeling, which with me is so strong, that we ought not to be any +longer personally strangers to each other. You could then make up +your mind as to what you would choose to do afterwards. I think that +by the end of that time that is, when William returns my uncle and +aunt from Sleaford will be with us. He is a clergyman, you know; and +if you then like to remain, they will be delighted to make your +acquaintance. + +'It seems to be a long journey for a young lady to make alone, from +Belton to Plaistow; but travelling is so easy now-a-days, and young +ladies seem to be so independent, that you may be able to manage it. +Hoping to see you soon, I remain + +'Your affectionate Cousin, + +'MARY BELTON.' + + +This letter she received before breakfast, and was therefore able to +read it in solitude, and to keep its receipt from the knowledge of +Mrs Askerton, if she should be so minded. She understood at once all +that it intended to convey a hint that Plaistow Hall would be a +better resting place for her than Mrs Askerton's cottage; and an +assurance that if she would go to Plaistow Hall for her convenience, +no advantage should be taken of her presence there by the owner of +the house for his convenience. As she sat thinking of the offer which +had been made to her she fancied that she could see and hear her +Cousin Will as he discussed the matter with his sister, and with a +half assumption of surliness declared his own intention of going +away. Captain Aylmer, after that interview in London, had spoken of +Belton's conduct as being unpardonable; but Clara had not only +pardoned him, but had, in her own mind, pronounced his virtues to be +so much greater than his vices as to make him almost perfect. 'But I +will not drive him out of his own house,' she said. 'What does it +matter where I go?' + +'Colonel Askerton has had a letter from your cousin,' said Mrs +Askerton as soon as the two ladies were alone together. + +'And what does he say?' + +'Not a word about you.' + +'So much the better. I have given him trouble enough, and am glad to +think that he should be free of me for awhile. Is Colonel Askerton to +stay at the cottage?' + +'Now, Clara, you are a hypocrite. You know that you are a hypocrite.' + +'Very likely but I don't know why you should accuse me just now.' + +'Yes, you do. Have not you heard from Norfolk also?' + +'Yes;--I have.' + +'I was sure of it. I knew he would never have written in that way, in +answer to my letter, ignoring your visit here altogether, unless he +had written to you also.' + +'But he has not written to me. My letter is from his sister. There it +is.' Whereupon she handed the letter to Mrs Askerton, and waited +patiently while it was being read. Her friend returned it to her +without a word, and Clara was the first to speak again. 'It is a nice +letter, is it not? I never saw her, you know.' + +'So she says.' + +'But is it not a kind letter?' + +'I suppose it is meant for kindness. It is not very complimentary to +me. It presumes that such a one as I may be treated without the +slightest consideration. And so I may. It is only fit that I should +be so treated. If you ask my advice, I advise you to go at once at +once.' + +'But I have not asked your advice, dear; nor do I intend to ask it.' + +'You would not have shown it me if you had not intended to go.' + +'How unreasonable you are! You told me just now that I was a +hypocrite for not telling you of my letter, and now you are angry +with me because I have shown it you.' + +'I am not angry. I think you have been quite right to show it me. I +don't know how else you could have acted upon it.' + +'But I do not mean to act upon it. I shall not go to Plaistow. There +are two reasons against it, each sufficient. I shall not leave you +just yet unless you send me away; and I shall not cause my cousin to +be turned out of his own house.' + +'Why should he be turned out? Why should you not go to him? You love +him and as for him, he is more in love than any man I ever knew. Go +to Plaistow Hall, and everything will run smooth.' + +'No, dear; I shall not do that.' + +'Then you are foolish. I am bound to tell you so, as I have inveigled +you here.' + +'I thought I had invited myself.' + +'No; I asked you to come, and when I asked you I knew that I was +wrong. Though I meant to be kind, I knew that I was unkind. I saw +that my husband disapproved it, though he had not the heart to tell +me so. I wish he had. I wish he had.' + +'Mrs Askerton, I cannot tell you how much you wrong yourself, and how +you wrong me also. I am more than contented to be here.' + +'But you should not be contented to be here. It is just that. In +learning to love me or rather, perhaps, to pity me, you lower +yourself. Do you think that I do not see it all, and know it all? Of +course it is bad to be alone, but I have no right not to be alone.' +There was nothing for Clara to do but to draw herself once again +close to the poor woman, and to embrace her with protestations of +fair, honest, equal regard and friendship. 'Do you think I do not +understand that letter?' continued Mrs Askerton. 'If it had come from +Lady Aylmer I could have laughed at it, because I believe Lady Aylmer +to be an overbearing virago, whom it is good to put down in every way +possible. But this comes from a pure-minded woman, one whom I believe +to be little given to harsh judgments on her fellow-sinners; and she +tells you, in her calm wise way, that it is bad for you to be here +with me.' + +'She says nothing of the kind.' + +'But does she not mean it? Tell me honestly do you not know that she +means it?' + +'I am not to be guided by what she means.' + +'But you are to be guided by what her brother means. It is to come to +that, and you may as well bend your neck at once. It is to come to +that, and the sooner the better for you. It is easy to see that you +are badly off for guidance when you take up me as your friend.' When +she had so spoken Mrs Askerton got up and went to the door. 'No, +Clara, do not come with me; not now,' she said, turning to her +companion, who had risen as though to follow her. 'I will come to you +soon, but I would rather be alone now. And, look here, dear; you must +answer your cousin's letter. Do so at once, and say that you will go +to Plaistow. In any event it will be better for you.' + +Clara, when she was alone, did answer her cousin's letter, but she +did not accept the invitation that had been given her. She assured +Miss Belton that she was most anxious to know her, and hoped that she +might do so before long, either at Plaistow or at Belton; but that at +present she was under an engagement to stay with her friend Mrs +Askerton. In an hour or two Mrs Askerton returned, and Clara handed +to her the note to read. 'Then all I can say is you are very silly, +and don't know on which side your bread is buttered.' It was evident +from Mrs Askerton's voice that she had recovered her mood and tone of +mind. 'I don't suppose it will much signify, as it will all come +right at last,' she said afterwards. And then, after luncheon, when +she had been for a few minutes with her husband in his own room, she +told Clara that the colonel wanted to speak to her. 'You'll find him +as grave as a judge, for he has got something to say to you in +earnest. Nobody can be so stern as he is when he chooses to put on +his wig and gown.' So Clara went into the colonel's study, and seated +herself in a chair which he had prepared for her. + +She remained there for over an hour, and during the hour the +conversation became very animated. Colonel Askerton's assumed gravity +had given way to ordinary eagerness, during which he walked about the +room in the vehemence of his argument; and Clara, in answering him, +had also put forth all her strength. She had expected that he also +was going to speak to her on the propriety of her going to Norfolk; +but he made no allusion to that subject, although all that he did say +was founded on Will Belton's letter to himself. Belton, in speaking +of the cottage, had told Colonel Askerton that Miss Amedroz would be +his future landlord, and had then gone on to explain that it was his, +Belton's, intention to destroy the entail, and allow the property to +descend from the father to the daughter. 'As Miss Amedroz is with you +now,' he said, 'may I beg you to take the trouble to explain the +matter to her at length, and to make her understand that the estate +is now, at this moment, in fact her own. Her possession of it does +not depend on any act of hers or, indeed, upon her own will or wish +in the matter.' On this subject Colonel Askerton had argued, using +all his skill to make Clara in truth perceive that she was her +father's heiress through the generosity undoubtedly of her cousin and +that she had no alternative but to assume the possession which was +thus thrust upon her. + +And so eloquent was the colonel that Clara was staggered, though she +was not convinced. 'It is quite impossible,' she said. 'Though he may +be able to make it over to me, I can give it back again.' + +'I think not. In such a matter as this a lady in your position can +only be guided by her natural advisers her father's lawyer and other +family friends.' + +'I don't know why a young lady should be in any way different from an +old gentleman.' + +'But an old gentleman would not hesitate under such circumstances. +The entail in itself was a cruelty, and the operation of it on your +poor brother's death was additionally cruel.' + +'It is cruel that any one should be poor,' argued Clara; 'but that +does not take away the right of a rich man to his property.' + +There was much more of this sort said between them, till Clara was at +any rate convinced that Colonel Askerton believed that she ought to +be the owner of the property. And then at last he ventured upon +another argument which soon drove Clara out of the room. 'There is, I +believe, one way in which it can all be made right,' said he. + +'What way? 'said Clara, forgetting in her eagerness the obviousness +of the mode which her companion was about to point out. + +'Of course, I know nothing of this myself,' he said smiling; 'but +Mary thinks that you and your cousin might arrange it between you if +you were together.' + +'You must not listen to what she says about that, Colonel Askerton.' +'Must I not? Well; I will not listen to more than I can help; but +Mary, as you know, is a persistent talker. I, at any rate, have done +my commission.' Then Clara left him and was alone for what remained +of the afternoon. + +It could not be, she said to herself, that the property ought to be +hers. It would make her miserable, were she once to feel that she had +accepted it. Some small allowance out of it, coming to her from the +brotherly love of her cousin some moderate stipend sufficient for her +livelihood, she thought she could accept from him. It seemed to her +that it was her destiny to be dependent on charity to eat bread given +to her from the benevolence of a friend; and she thought that she +could endure his benevolence better than that of any other. +Benevolence from Aylmer Park or from Perivale would be altogether +unendurable. + +But why should it not be as Colonel Askerton had proposed? That this +cousin of hers loved her with all his heart with a constancy for +which she had at first given him no credit she was well aware. And, +as regarded herself, she loved him better than all the world beside. +She had at last become conscious that she could not now marry Captain +Aylmer without sin without false vows, and fatal injury to herself +and him. To the prospect of that marriage, as her future fate, an end +must be put at any rate an end, if that which had already taken place +was not to be regarded as end enough. But yet she had been engaged to +Captain Aylmer was engaged to him even now. When last her cousin had +mentioned to her Captain Aylmer's name she had declared that she +loved him still. How then could she turn round now, and so soon +accept the love of another man? How could she bring herself to let +her cousin assume to himself the place of a lover, when it was but +the other day that she had rebuked him for expressing the faintest +hope in that direction? + +But yet,--yet--! As for going to Plaistow, that was quite out of the +question. + +'So you are to be the heiress after all,' said Mrs Askerton to her +that night in her bedroom. + +'No; I am not to be the heiress after all,' said Clara, rising +against her friend impetuously. + +'You'll have to be lady of Belton in one way or the other at any +rate,' said Mrs Askerton. + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII + +MISS AMEDROZ IS PURSUED + +'I suppose now, my dear, it may be considered that everything is +settled about that young lady,' said Lady Aylmer to her son, on the +same day that Miss Amedroz left Aylmer Park. + +'Nothing is settled, ma'am,' said the captain. + +'You don't mean to tell me that after what has passed you intend to +follow her up any farther.' + +'I shall certainly endeavour to see her again.' + +'Then, Frederic, I must tell you that you are very wrong indeed +almost worse than wrong. I would say wicked, only I feel sure that +you will think better of it. You cannot mean to tell me that you +would marry her after what has taken place?' + +'The question is whether she would marry me.' + +'That is nonsense, Frederic. I wonder that you, who are so generally +so clear-sighted, cannot see more plainly than that. She is a +scheming, artful young woman, who is playing a regular game to catch +a husband.' + +'If that were so, she would have been more humble to you, ma'am.' + +'Not a bit, Fred. That's just it. That has been her cleverness. She +tried that on at first, and found that she could not get round me. +Don't allow yourself to be deceived by that, I pray. And then there +is no knowing how she may be bound up with those horrid people, so +that she cannot throw them over, even if she would.' + +'I don't think you understand her, ma'am.' + +'Oh very well. But I understand this, and you had better understand +it too that she will never again enter a house of which I am the +mistress; nor can I ever enter a house in which she is received. If +you choose to make her your wife after that, I have done.' Lady +Aylmer had not done, or nearly done; but we need hear no more of her +threats or entreaties. Her son left Aylmer Park immediately after +Easter Sunday, and as he went, the mother, nodding her head, declared +to her daughter that that marriage would never come off, let Clara +Amedroz be ever so sly, or ever so clever. + +'Think of what I have said to you, Fred,' said Sir Anthony, as he +took his leave of his son. + +'Yes, sir, I will.' + +'You can't be better off than you are;--you can't, indeed.' With +these words in his ears Captain Aylmer started for London, intending +to follow Clara down to Belton. He hardly knew his own mind on this +matter of his purposed marriage. He was almost inclined to agree with +his father that he was very well off as he was. He was almost +inclined to agree with his mother in her condemnation of Clara's +conduct. He was almost inclined to think that he had done enough +towards keeping the promise made to his aunt on her deathbed,--but +still he was not quite contented with himself. He desired to be +honest and true, as far as his ideas went of honesty and truth, and +his conscience told him that Clara had been treated with cruelty by +his mother. I am inclined to think that Lady Aylmer, in spite of her +high experience and character for wisdom, had not fought her battle +altogether well. No man likes to be talked out of his marriage by his +mother, and especially not so when the talking takes the shape of +threats. When she told him that under no circumstances would she +again know Clara Amedroz, he was driven by his spirit of manhood to +declare to himself that that menace from her should not have the +slightest influence on him. The word or two which his father said was +more effective. After all it might be better for him in his peculiar +position to have no wife at all. He did begin to believe that he had +no need for a wife. He had never before thought so much of his +father's example as he did now. Clara was manifestly a hot-tempered +woman,--a very hot-tempered woman indeed! Now his mother was also a +hot-tempered woman, and he could see the result in the present +condition of his father's life. He resolved that he would follow +Clara to Belton, so that some final settlement might be made between +them; but in coming to this resolution he acknowledged to himself +that should she decide against him he would not break his heart. She, +however, should have her chance. Undoubtedly it was only right that +she should have her chance. + +But the difficulty of the circumstances in which he was placed was so +great, that it was almost impossible for him to make up his mind +fixedly to any purpose in reference to Clara. As he passed through +London on his way to Belton he called at Mr Green's chambers with +reference to that sum of fifteen hundred pounds, which it was now +absolutely necessary that he should make over to Miss Amedroz, and +from Mr Green he learned that William Belton had given positive +instructions as to the destination of the Belton estate. He would not +inherit it, or have anything to do with it under the entail from the +effects of which he desired to be made entirely free. Mr Green, who +knew that Captain Aylmer was engaged to marry his client, and who +knew nothing of any interruption to that agreement, felt no +hesitation in explaining all this to Captain Aylmer. 'I suppose you +had heard of it before,' said Mr Green. Captain Aylmer certainly had +heard of it, and had been very much struck by the idea; but up to +this moment he had not quite believed in it. Coming simply from +William Belton to Clara Amedroz, such an offer might be no more than +a strong argument used in love-making. 'Take back the property, but +take me with it, of course.' That Captain Aylmer thought might have +been the correct translation of Mr William Belton's romance. But he +was forced to look at the matter differently when he found that it +had been put into a lawyer's hands. 'Yes,' said he,' I have heard of +it. Mr Belton mentioned it to me himself.' This was not strictly +true. Clara had mentioned it to him; but Belton had come into the +room immediately afterwards, and Captain Aylmer might probably have +been mistaken. + +'He's quite in earnest,' said Mr Green. + +'Of course, I can say nothing, Mr Green, as I am myself so nearly +interested in the matter. It is a great question, no doubt, how far +such an entail as that should be allowed to operate.' + +'I think it should stand, as a matter of course. I think Belton is +wrong,' said Mr Green. + +'Of course I can give no opinion,' said the other. + +'I'll tell you what you can do, Captain Aylmer. You can suggest to +Miss Amedroz that there should be a compromise. Let them divide it. +They are both clients of mine, and in that way I shall do my duty to +each. Let them divide it. Belton has money enough to buy up the other +moiety, and in that way would still be Belton of Belton.' + +Captain Aylmer had not the slightest objection to such a plan. +Indeed, he regarded it as in all respects a wise and salutary +arrangement. The moiety of the Belton estate might probably be worth +twenty-five thousand pounds, and the addition of such a sum as that +to his existing means would make all the difference in the world as +to the expediency of his marriage. His father's arguments would all +fall to the ground if twenty-five thousand pounds were to be obtained +in this way; and he had but little doubt that such a change in +affairs would go far to mitigate his mother's wrath. But he was by no +means mercenary in his views so, at least, he assured himself. Clara +should have her chance with or without the Belton estate or with or +without the half of it. He was by no means mercenary. Had he not made +his offer to her and repeated it almost with obstinacy, when she had +no prospect of any fortune? He could always remember that of himself +at least; and remembering that now, he could take a delight in these +bright money prospects without having to accuse himself in the +slightest degree of mercenary motives. This fortune was a godsend +which he could take with clean hands if only he should ultimately be +able to take the lady who possessed the fortune! + +From London he wrote to Clara, telling her that he proposed to visit +her at Belton. His letter was written before he had seen Mr Green, +and was not very fervent in its expressions; but, nevertheless, it +was a fair letter, written with the intention of giving her a fair +chance. He had seen with great sorrow 'with heartfelt grief,' that +quarrel between his mother and his own Clara. Thinking, as he felt +himself obliged to think, about Mrs Askerton, he could not but feel +that his mother had cause for her anger. But he himself was +unprejudiced, and was ready, and anxious also the word anxious was +underscored to carry out his engagement. A few words between them +might probably set everything right, and therefore be proposed to +meet her at the Belton Castle house, at such an hour, on such a day. +He should run down to Perivale on his journey, and perhaps Clara +would let him have a line addressed to him there. Such was his +letter. + +'What do you think of that?' said Clara, showing it to Mrs Askerton +on the afternoon of the day on which she had received it. + +'What do you think of it?' said Mrs Askerton. 'I can only hope, that +he will not come within reach of my hands.' + +'You are not angry with me for showing it to you?' + +'No why should I be angry with you? Of course I knew it all without +any showing. Do not tell Colonel Askerton, or they will be killing +each other.' + +'Of course I shall not tell Colonel Askerton; but I could not help +showing this to you.' + +'And you will meet him?' + +'Yes; I shall meet him. What else can I do?' + +'Unless, indeed, you were to write and tell him that it would do no +good.' + +'It will be better that he should come.' + +'If you allow him to talk you over you will be a wretched woman all +your life.' + +'It will be better that he should come,' said Clara again. And then +she wrote to Captain Aylmer at Perivale, telling him that she would +be at the house at the hour he had named, on the day he had named. + +When that day came she walked across the park a little before the +time fixed, not wishing to meet Captain Aylmer before she had reached +the house. It was now nearly the middle of April, and the weather was +soft and pleasant. It was almost summer again, and as she felt this, +she thought of all the events which had occurred since the last +summer of their agony of grief at the catastrophe which had closed +her brother's life, of her aunt's death first, and then of her +father's following so close upon the other, and of the two offers of +marriage made to her as to which she was now aware that she had +accepted the wrong man and rejected the wrong man. She was steadily +minded, now, at this moment, that before she parted from Captain +Aylmer, her engagement with him should be brought to a close. Now, at +this coming interview, so much at any rate should be done. She had +tried to make herself believe that she felt for him that sort of +affection which a woman should have for the man she is to marry, but +she had failed. She hardly knew whether she had in truth ever loved +him; but she was quite sure that she did not love him now. No she had +done with Aylmer Park, and she could feel thankful, amidst all her +troubles, that that difficulty should vex her no more. In showing +Captain Aylmer's letter to Mrs Askerton she had made no such promise +as this, but her mind had been quite made up. 'He certainly shall not +talk me over,' she said to herself as she walked across the park. + +But she could not see her way so clearly out of that further +difficulty with regard to her cousin. It might be that she would be +able to rid herself of the one lover with comparative ease; but she +could not bring herself to entertain the idea of accepting the other. +It was true that this man longed for her,--desired to call her his own, +with a wearing, anxious, painful desire which made his heart +grievously heavy as though with lead hanging to its strings; +and it was true that Clara knew that it was so. It was true also that +his spirit had mastered her spirit, and that his persistence had +conquered her resistance,--the resistance, that is, of her feelings. +But there remained with her a feminine shame, which made it seem to +her to be impossible that she should now reject Captain Aylmer, and +as a consequence of that rejection, accept Will Belton's hand. As she +thought of this, she could not see her way out of her trouble in that +direction with any of that clearness which belonged to her in +reference to Captain Aylmer. + +She had been an hour in the house before he came, and never did an +hour go so heavily with her. There was no employment for her about +the place, and Mrs Bunce, the old woman who now lived there, could +not understand why her late mistress chose to remain seated among the +unused furniture. Clara had of course told her that a gentleman was +coming. 'Not Mr Will?' said the woman. 'No; it is not Mr Will,' said +Clara; 'his name is Captain Aylmer.' 'Oh, indeed.' And then Mrs Bunce +looked at her with a mystified look. Why on earth should not the +gentleman call on Miss Amedroz at Mrs Askerton's cottage? 'I'll be +sure to show 'un up, when a comes, at any rate,' said the old woman +solemnly and Clara felt that it was all very uncomfortable. + +At last the gentleman did come, and was shown up with all the +ceremony of which Mrs Bunce was capable. 'Here he be, mum.' Then Mrs +Bunce paused a moment before she retreated, anxious to learn whether +the new corner was a friend or a foe. She concluded from the +captain's manner that he was a very dear friend, and then she +departed. + +'I hope you are not surprised at my coming,' said Captain Aylmer, +still holding Clara by the hand. + +'A little surprised,' she said, smiling. + +'But not annoyed?' + +'No;--not annoyed.' + +'As soon as you had left Aylmer Park I felt that it was the right +thing to do;--the only thing to do,--as I told my mother.' + +'I hope you have not come in opposition to her wishes,' said Clara, +unable to control a slight tone of banter as she spoke. + +'In this matter I found myself compelled to act in accordance with my +own judgment,' said he, untouched by her sarcasm. + +'Then I suppose that Lady Aylmer is,--is vexed with you for coming +here. I shall be so sorry for that;--so very sorry, as no good can +come of it.' + +'Well;--I am not so sure of that. My mother is a most excellent woman, +one for whose opinions on all matters I have the highest possible +value a value so high, that--that--that--' + +'That you never ought to act in opposition to it. That is what you +really mean, Captain Aylmer; and upon my word I think that you are +right.' + +'No, Clara; that is not what I mean not exactly that. Indeed, just at +present I mean the reverse of that. There are some things on which a +man must act on his own judgment, irrespectively of the opinions of +any one else.' + +'Not of a mother, Captain Aylmer?' + +'Yes of a mother. That is to say, a man must do so. With a lady of +course it is different. I was very, very sorry that there should have +been any unpleasantness at Aylmer Park.' + +'It was not pleasant to me, certainly.' + +'Nor to any of us, Clara.' + +'At any rate, it need not be repeated.' + +'I hope not.' + +'No it certainly need not be repeated. I know now that I was wrong to +go to Aylmer Park. I felt sure beforehand that there were many things +as to which I could not possibly agree with Lady Aylmer, and I ought +not to have gone.' + +'I don't see that at all, Clara.' + +'I do see it now.' + +'I can't understand you. What things? Why should you be determined to +disagree with my mother? Surely you ought at any rate to endeavour to +think as she thinks.' + +'I cannot do that, Captain Aylmer.' + +'I am sorry to hear you speak in this way. I have come here all the +way from Yorkshire to try to put things straight between us; but you +receive me as though you would remember nothing but that unpleasant +quarrel.' + +'It was so unpleasant,--so very unpleasant! I had better speak out +the truth at once. I think that Lady Aylmer ill-used me cruelly. I +do. No one can talk me out of that conviction. Of course I am sorry +to be driven to say as much to you,--and I should never have said it, +had you not come here. But when you speak of me and your mother +together, I must say what I feel. Your mother and I, Captain Aylmer, +are so opposed to each other, not only in feeling, but in opinions +also, that it is impossible that we should be friends;--impossible that +we should not be enemies if we are brought together.' + +This she said with great energy, looking intently into his face as +she spoke. He was seated near her, on a chair from which he was +leaning over towards her, holding his hat in both hands between his +legs. Now, as he listened to her, he drew his chair still nearer, +ridding himself of his hat, which he left upon the carpet, and +keeping his eyes upon hers as though he were fascinated. 'I am sorry +to hear you speak like this,' he said. + +'It is best to say the truth.' + +'But, Clara, if you intend to be my wife--' + +'Oh, no that is impossible now.' + +'What is impossible?' + +'Impossible that I should become your wife. Indeed I have convinced +myself that you do not wish it.' + +'But I do wish it.' + +'No no. If you will question your heart about it quietly, you will +find that you do not wish it.' + +'You wrong me, Clara.' + +'At any rate it cannot be so.' + +'I will not take that answer from you,' he said, getting up from his +chair, and walking once up and down the room. Then he returned to it, +and repeated his words. 'I will not take that answer from you. An +engagement such as ours cannot be put aside like an old glove. You do +not mean to tell me that all that has been between us is to mean +nothing.' There was something now like feeling in his tone, something +like passion in his gesture, and Clara, though she had no thought of +changing her purpose, was becoming unhappy at the idea of his +unhappiness. + +'It has meant nothing,' she said. 'We have been like children +together, playing at being in love. It is a game from which you will +come out scatheless, but I have been scalded.' + +'Scalded!' + +'Well never mind. I do not mean to complain, and certainly not of +you.' + +'I have come here all the way from Yorkshire in order that things may +be put right between us.' + +'You have been very good,--very good to come, and I will not say that +I regret your trouble. It is best, I think, that we should meet each +other once more face to face, so that we may understand each other. +There was no understanding anything during those terrible days at +Aylmer Park.' Then she paused, but as he did not speak at once she +went on. 'I do not blame you for anything that has taken place, but I +am quite sure of this that you and I could never be happy together as +man and wife.' + +'I do not know why you say so; I do not indeed.' + +'You would disapprove of everything that I should do. You do +disapprove of what I am doing now.' + +'Disapprove of what?' + +'I am staying with my friend, Mrs Askerton.' + +He felt that this was hard upon him. As she had shown herself +inclined to withdraw herself from him, he had become more resolute in +his desire to follow her up, and to hold by his engagement. He was +not employed now in giving her another chance as he had proposed to +himself to do but was using what eloquence he had to obtain another +chance for himself. Lady Aylmer had almost made him believe that +Clara would be the suppliant, but now he was the suppliant himself. +In his anxiety to keep her he was willing even to pass over her +terrible iniquity in regard to Mrs Askerton that great sin which had +led to all these troubles. He had once written to her about Mrs +Askerton, using very strong language, and threatening her with his +mother's full displeasure. At that time Mrs Askerton had simply been +her friend. There had been no question then of her taking refuge +under that woman's roof. Now she had repelled Lady Aylmer's counsels +with scorn, was living as a guest in Mrs Askerton's house; and yet he +was willing to pass over the Askerton difficulty without a word. He +was willing not only to condone past offences, but to wink at +existing iniquity! But she,--she who was the sinner, would not permit +of this. She herself dragged up Mrs Askerton's name, and seemed to +glory in her own shame. + +'I had not intended,' said he, 'to speak of your friend.' + +'I only mention her to show how impossible it is that we should ever +agree upon some subjects as to which a husband and wife should always +be of one mind. I knew this from the moment in which I got your +letter and only that I was a coward I should have said so then.' + +'And you mean to quarrel with me altogether?' + +'No why should we quarrel?' + +'Why, indeed?' said he. + +'But I wish it to be settled,--quite settled, as from the nature of +things it must be, that there shall be no attempt at renewal of our +engagement. After what has passed, how could I enter your mother's +house?' + +'But you need not enter it.' Now, in his emergency he was willing to +give up anything,--everything. He had been prepared to talk her over +into a reconciliation with his mother, to admit that there had been +faults on both sides, to come down from his high pedestal and discuss +the matter as though Clara and his mother stood upon the same +footing. Having recognized the spirit of his lady-love, he had told +himself that so much indignity as that must be endured. But now, he +had been carried so far beyond this, that he was willing, in the +sudden vehemence of his love, to throw his mother over altogether, +and to accede to any terms which Clara might propose to him. 'Of +course, I would wish you to be friends,' he said, using now all the +tones of a suppliant; 'but if you found that it could not be so--' + +'Do you think that I would divide you from your mother?' + +'There need be no question as to that.' + +'Ah there you are wrong. There must be such questions. I should have +thought of it sooner.' + +'Clara, you are more to me than my mother. Ten times more.' As he +said this he came up and knelt down beside her. 'You are everything +to me. You will not throw me over.' He was a suppliant indeed, and +such supplications are very potent with women. Men succeed often by +the simple earnestness of their prayers. Women cannot refuse to give +that which is asked for with so much of the vehemence of true desire. +'Clara, you have promised to be my wife. You have twice promised; and +can have no right to go back because you are displeased with what my +mother may have said. I am not responsible for my mother. Clara, say +that you will be my wife.' As he spoke he strove to take her hand, +and his voice sounded as though there were in truth something of +passion in his heart. + + + +CHAPTER XXIX + +THERE IS NOTHING TO TELL + +Captain Aylmer had never before this knelt to Clara Amedroz. Such +kneeling on the part of lovers used to be the fashion because lovers +in those days held in higher value than they do now that which they +asked their ladies to give or because they pretended to do so. The +forms at least of supplication were used; whereas in these wiser days +Augustus simply suggests to Caroline that they two might as well make +fools of themselves together and so the thing is settled without the +need of much prayer. Captain Aylmer's engagement had been originally +made somewhat after this fashion. He had not, indeed, spoken of the +thing contemplated as a folly, not being a man given to little +waggeries of that nature; but he had been calm, unenthusiastic, and +reasonable. He had not attempted to evince any passion, and would +have been quite content that Clara should believe that he married as +much from obedience to his aunt as from love for herself, had he not +found that Clara would not take him at all under such a conviction. +But though she had declined to come to him after that fashion though +something more than that had been needed still she had been won +easily, and, therefore, lightly prized. I fear that it is so with +everything that we value with our horses, our houses, our wines, and, +above all, with our women. Where is the man who has heart and soul +big enough to love a woman with increased force of passion because +she has at once recognized in him all that she has herself desired? +Captain Aylmer having won his spurs easily, had taken no care in +buckling them, and now found, to his surprise, that he was like to +lose them. He had told himself that he would only be too glad to +shuffle his feet free of their bondage; but now that they were going +from him, he began to find that they were very necessary for the road +that he was to travel. 'Clara,' he said, kneeling by her side,' you +are more to me than my mother; ten times more!' + +This was all new to her. Hitherto, though she had never desired that +he should assume such attitude as this, she had constantly been +unconsciously wounded by his coldness by his cold propriety and +unbending self-possession. His cold propriety and unbending +self-possession were gone now, and he was there at her feet. Such an +argument, used at Aylmer Park, would have conquered her would have +won her at once, in spite of herself; but now she was minded to be +resolute. She had sworn to herself that she would not peril herself, +or him, by joining herself to a man with whom she had so little +sympathy, and who apparently had none with her. But in what way was +she to answer such a prayer as that which was now made to her? The +man who addressed her was entitled to use all the warmth of an +accepted lover. He only asked for that which had already been given +to him. + +'Captain Aylmer--' she began. + +'Why is it to be Captain Aylmer? What have I done that you should use +me in this way? It was not I who,--who,--made you unhappy at Aylmer +Park.' + +'I will not go back to that. It is of no use. Pray get up. It shocks +me to see you in this way.' + +'Tell me, then, that it is once more all right between us. Say that, +and I shall be happier than I ever was before yes, than I ever was +before. I know how much I love you now, how sore it would be to lose +you. I have been wrong. I had not thought enough of that, but I will +think of it now.' + +She found that the task before her was very difficult,--so difficult +that she almost broke down in performing it. It would have been so +easy and, for the moment, so pleasant to have yielded. He had his +hand upon her arm, having attempted to take her hand. In preventing +that she had succeeded, but she could not altogether make herself +free from him without rising. For a moment she had paused,--paused as +though she were about to yield. For a moment, as he looked into her +eyes, he had thought that he would again be victorious. Perhaps there +was something in his glance, some too visible return of triumph to +his eyes, which warned her of her danger. 'No!' she said, getting up +and walking away from him; 'no!' + +'And what does "no" mean, Clara?' Then he also rose, and stood +leaning on the table. 'Does it mean that you will be forsworn?' + +'It means this that I will not come between you and your mother; that +I will not be taken into a family in which I am scorned; that I will +not go to Aylmer Park myself or be the means of preventing you from +going there.' + +'There need be no question of Aylmer Park.' + +'There shall be none!' + +'But, so much being allowed, you will be my wife?' + +'No, Captain Aylmer no. I cannot be your wife. Do not press it +further; you must know that on such a subject I would think much +before I answered you. I have thought much, and I know that I am +right.' + +'And your promised word is to go for nothing?' + +'If it will comfort you to say so, you may say it. If you do not +perceive that the mistake made between us has been as much your +mistake as mine, and has injured me more than it has injured you, I +will not remind you of it,--will never remind you of it after this.' + +'But there has been no mistake and there shall be no injury.' + +'Ah, Captain Aylmer you do not understand; you cannot understand. I +would not for worlds reproach you; but do you think I suffered +nothing from your mother?' + +'And must I pay for her sins?' + +'There shall be no paying, no punishment, and no reproaches. There +shall be none at least from me. But,--do not think that I speak in +anger or in pride,--I will not marry into Lady Aylmer's family.' + +'This is too bad,--too bad! After all that is past, it is too bad!' + +'What can I say? Would you advise me to do that which would make us +both wretched?' + +'It would not make me wretched. It would make me happy. It would +satisfy me altogether.' + +'It cannot be, Captain Aylmer. It cannot be. When I speak to you in +that way, will you not let it be final?' + +He paused a moment before he spoke again, and then he turned sharp +upon her. 'Tell me this, Clara; do you love me? Have you ever loved +me?' She did not answer him, but stood there, listening quietly to +his accusations. 'You have never loved me, and yet you have allowed +yourself to say that you did. Is not that true?' Still she did not +answer. 'I ask you whether that is not true?' But though he asked +her, and paused for an answer, looking the while full into her face, +yet she did not speak. And now I suppose you will become your +cousin's wife?' he said. 'It will suit you to change, and to say that +you love him.' + +Then at last she spoke. 'I did not think that you would have treated +me in this way, Captain Aylmer! I did not expect that you would +insult me!' + +'I have not insulted you.' + +'But your manner to me makes my task easier than I could have hoped +it to be. You asked me whether I ever loved you? I once thought that +I did so; and so thinking, told you, without reserve, all my feeling. +When I came to find that I had been mistaken, I conceived myself +bound by my engagement to rectify my own error as best I could; and I +resolved, wrongly as I now think, very wrongly that I could learn as +your wife to love you. Then came circumstances which showed me that a +release would be good for both of us, and which justified me in +accepting it. No girl could be bound by any engagement to a man who +looked on and saw her treated in his own home, by his own mother, as +you saw me treated at Aylmer Park. I claim to be released myself, and +I know that this release is as good for you as it is for me.' + +'I am the best judge of that.' + +'For myself at any rate I will judge. For myself I have decided. Now +I have answered the questions which you asked me as to my love for +yourself. To that other question which you have thought fit to put to +me about my cousin, I refuse to give any answer whatsoever.' Then, +having said so much, she walked out of the room, closing the door +behind her, and left him standing there alone. + +We need not follow her as she went up, almost mechanically, into her +own room the room that used to be her own and then shut herself in, +waiting till she should be assured, first by sounds in the house, and +then by silence, that he was gone. That she fell away greatly from +the majesty of her demeanour when she was thus alone, and descended +to the ordinary ways of troubled females, we may be quite sure. But +to her there was no further difficulty. Her work for the day was +done. In due time she would take herself to the cottage, and all +would be well, or, at any rate, comfortable with her. But what was he +to do? How was he to get himself out of the house, and take himself +back to London? While he had been in pursuit of her, and when he was +leaving his vehicle at the public-house in the village of Belton, he +like some other invading generals had failed to provide adequately +for his retreat. When he was alone he took a turn or two about the +room, half thinking that Clara would return to him. She could hardly +leave him alone in a strange house him, who, as he had twice told +her, had come all the way from Yorkshire to see her. But she did not +return, and gradually he came to understand that he must provide for +his own retreat without assistance. He was hardly aware, even now, +how greatly he had transcended his usual modes of speech and action, +both in the energy of his supplication and in the violence of his +rebuke. He had been lifted for awhile out of himself by the +excitement of his position, and now that he was subsiding into +quiescence, he was unconscious that he had almost mounted into +passion that he had spoken of love very nearly with eloquence. But he +did recognize this as a fact that Clara was not to be his wife, and +that he had better get back from Belton to London as quickly as +possible. It would be well for him to teach himself to look back on +the result of his aunt's dying request as an episode in his life +satisfactorily concluded. His mother had undoubtedly been right. +Clara, he could see now, would have led him a devil of a life; and +even had she come to him possessed of a moiety of the property a +supposition as to which he had very strong doubts still she might +have been dear at the money. 'No real feeling,' he said to himself, +as he walked about the room 'none whatever; and then so deficient in +delicacy!' But still he was discontented because he had been +rejected, and therefore tried to make himself believe that he could +still have her if he chose to persevere. 'But no,' he said, as he +continued to pace the room, 'I have done everything,--more than +everything that honour demands. I shall not ask her again. It is her own +fault. She is an imperious woman, and my mother read her character +aright.' It did not occur to him, as he thus consoled himself for +what he had lost, that his mother's accusation against Clara had been +altogether of a different nature. When we console ourselves by our +own arguments, we are not apt to examine their accuracy with much +strictness. + +But whether he were consoled or not, it was necessary that he should +go, and in his going he felt himself to be ill-treated. He left the +room, and as he went down stairs was disturbed and tormented by the +creaking of his own boots. He tried to be dignified as he walked +through the hall, and was troubled at his failure, though he was not +conscious of any one looking at him. Then it was grievous that he +should have to let himself out of the front door without attendance. +At ordinary times he thought as little of such things as most men, +and would not be aware whether he opened a door for himself or had it +opened for him by another but now there was a distressing awkwardness +in the necessity for self-exertion. He did not know the turn of the +handle, and was unfamiliar with the manner of exit. He was being +treated with indignity, and before he had escaped from the house had +come to think that the Amedroz and Belton people were somewhat below +him. He endeavoured to go out without a noise, but there was a slam +of the door, without which he could not get the lock to work; and +Clara, up in her own room, knew all about it. + +'Carriage;--yes; of course I want the carriage,' he said to the +unfortunate boy at the public-house. 'Didn't you hear me say that I +wanted it?' He had come down with a pair of horses, and as he saw +them being put to the vehicle he wished he had been contented with +one. As he was standing there, waiting, a gentleman rode by, and the +boy, in answer to his question, told him that the horseman was +Colonel Askerton. Before the day was over Colonel Askerton would +probably know all that had happened to him. 'Do move a little +quicker; will you?' he said to the boy and the old man who was to +drive him. Then he got into the carriage, and was driven out of +Belton, devoutly purposing that he never would return; and as he made +his way back to Perivale he thought of a certain Lady Emily, who +would, as he assured himself, have behaved much better than Clara +Amedroz had done in any such scene as that which had just taken +place. + +When Clara was quite sure that Captain Aylmer was off the premises, +she, too, descended, but she did not immediately leave the house. She +walked through the room, and rang for the old woman, and gave certain +directions as to the performance of which she certainly was not very +anxious, and was careful to make Mrs Bunce understand that nothing +had occurred between her and the gentleman that was either exalting +or depressing in its nature. 'I suppose Captain Aylmer went out, Mrs +Bunce?' 'Oh yes, miss, a went out. I stood and see'd un from the top +of the kitchen stairs.' 'You might have opened the door for him, Mrs +Bunce.' 'Indeed then I never thought of it, miss, seeing the house so +empty and the like.' Clara said that it did not signify; and then, +after an hour of composure, she walked back across the park to the +cottage. + +'Well?' said Mrs Askerton as soon as Clara was inside the +drawing-room. + +'Well,' replied Clara. + +'What have you got to tell? Do tell me what you have to tell.' + +'I have nothing to tell.' + +'Clara, that is impossible. Have you seen him? I know you have seen +him, because he went by from the house about an hour since.' + +'Oh yes; I have seen him.' + +'And what have you said to him?' + +'Pray do not ask me these questions just now. I have got to think of +it all to think what he did say and what I said.' + +'But you will tell me.' + +'Yes; I suppose so.' Then Mrs Askerton was silent on the subject for +the remainder of the day, allowing Clara even to go to bed without +another question. And nothing was asked on the following morning +nothing till the usual time for the writing of letters. + +'Shall you have anything for the post?' said Mrs Askerton. + +'There is plenty of time yet.' + +'Not too much if you mean to go out at all. Come, Clara, you had +better write to him at once.' + +'Write to whom? I don't know that I have any letter to write at all.' +Then there was a pause. 'As far as I can see,' she said, 'I may give +up writing altogether for the future, unless some day you may care to +hear from me.' + +'But you are not going away.' + +'Not just yet if you will keep me. To tell you the truth, Mrs +Askerton, I do not yet know where on earth to take myself.' + +'Wait here till we turn you out.' + +'I have got to put my house in order. You know what I mean. The job +ought not to be a troublesome one, for it is a very small house.' + +'I suppose I know what you mean.' + +'It will not be a very smart establishment. But I must look it all in +the face; must I not? Though it were to be no house at all, I cannot +stay here all my life.' + +'Yes, you may. You have lost Aylmer Park because you were too noble +not to come to us.' + +'No,' said Clara, speaking aloud, with bright eyes almost with her +hands clenched. 'No I deny that.' + +'I shall choose to think so for my own purposes. Clara, you are +savage to me;--almost always savage; but next to him I love you better +than all the world beside. And so does he. "It's her courage," he +said to me the other day. "That she should dare to do as she pleases +here, is nothing; but to have dared to persevere in the fangs of that +old dragon,"--it was just what he said,--"that was wonderful!"' + +'There is an end of the old dragon now, so far as I am concerned.' + +'Of course there is and of the young dragon too. You wouldn't have +had the heart to keep me in suspense if you had accepted him again. +You couldn't have been so pleasant last night if that had been so.' + +'I did not know I was very pleasant.' + +'Yes, you were. You were soft and gracious gracious for you, at +least. And now, dear, do tell me about it. Of course I am dying to +know.' + +'There is nothing to tell.' + +'That is nonsense. There must be a thousand things to tell. At any +rate it is quite decided?' + +'Yes; it is quite decided.' + +'All the dragons, old and young, are banished into outer darkness.' + +'Either that, or else they are to have all the light to themselves.' + +'Such light as glimmers through the gloom of Aylmer Park. And was he +contented? I hope not. I hope you had him on his knees before he left +you.' + +'Why should you hope that? How can you talk such nonsense?' + +'Because I wish that he should recognize what he has lost that he +should know that he has been a fool a mean fool.' + +'Mrs Askerton, I will not have him spoken of like that. He is a man +very estimable of estimable qualities.' + +'Fiddle-de-dee. He is an ape a monkey to be carried on his mother's +organ. His only good quality was that you could have carried him on +yours. I can tell you one thing there is not a woman breathing that +will ever carry William Belton on hers. Whoever his wife may be, she +will have to dance to his piping.' + +'With all my heart and I hope the tunes will be good.' + +'But I wish I could have been present to have heard what passed +hidden, you know, behind a curtain. You won't tell me?' + +'I will tell you not a word more.' + +'Then I will get it out from Mrs Bunce. I'll be bound she was +listening.' + +'Mrs Bunce will have nothing to tell you; I do not know why you +should be so curious.' + +'Answer me one question at least when it came to the last, did he +want to go on with it? Was the final triumph with him or with you?' + +'There was no final triumph. Such things, when they have to end, do +not end triumphantly.' + +'And is that to be all?' 'Yes that is to be all.' + +'And you say that you have no letter to write.' + +'None no letter; none at present; none about this affair. Captain +Aylmer, no doubt, will write to his mother, and then all those who +are concerned will have been told.' + +Clara Amedroz held her purpose and wrote no letter, but Mrs Askerton +was not so discreet, or so indiscreet as the case might be. She did +write not on that day or on the next, but before a week had passed +by. She wrote to Norfolk, telling Clara not a word of her letter, and +by return of post the answer came. But the answer was for Clara, not +for Mrs Askerton, and was as follows:-- + + +'Plaistow Hall, April, 186--. + +'My dear Clara, + +'I don't know whether I ought to tell you but I suppose I may as well +tell you, that Mary has had a letter from Mrs Askerton. It was a +kind, obliging letter, and I am very grateful to her. She has told us +that you have separated yourself altogether from the Aylmer Park +people. I don't suppose you'll think I ought to pretend to be very +sorry. I can't be sorry, even though I know how much you have lost in +a worldly point of view. I could not bring myself to like Captain +Aylmer, though I tried hard.' Oh Mr Belton, Mr Belton! 'He and I +never could have been friends, and it is no use my pretending regret +that you have quarrelled with them. But that, I suppose, is all over, +and I will not say a word more about the Aylmers. + +'I am writing now chiefly at Mary's advice, and because she says that +something should be settled about the estate. Of course it is +necessary that you should feel yourself to be the mistress of your +own income, and understand exactly your own position. Mary says that +this should be arranged at once, so that you may be able to decide +how and where you will live. I therefore write to say that I will +have nothing to do with your father's estate at Belton nothing, that +is, for myself. I have written to Mr Green to tell him that you are +to be considered as the heir. If you will allow me to undertake the +management of the property as your agent, I shall be delighted. I +think I could do it as well as any one else: and, as we agreed that +we would always be dear and close friends, I think that you will not +refuse me the pleasure of serving you in this way. + +'And now Mary has a proposition to make, as to which she will write +herself tomorrow, but she has permitted me to speak of it first. If +you will accept her as a visitor, she will go to you at Belton. She +thinks, and I think too, that you ought to know each other. I suppose +nothing would make you come here, at present, and therefore she must +go to you. She thinks that all about the estate would be settled more +comfortably if you two were together. At any rate, it would be very +nice for her and I think you would like my sister Mary. She proposes +to start about the 10th of May. I should take her as far as London +and see her off, and she would bring her own maid with her. In this +way she thinks that she would get as far as Taunton very well. She +had, perhaps, better stay there for one night, but that can all be +settled if you will say that you will receive her at the house. + +'I cannot finish my letter without saying one word for myself. You +know what my feelings have been, and I think you know that they still +are, and always must be, the same. From almost the first moment that +I saw you I have loved you. When you refused me I was very unhappy; +but I thought I might still have a chance, and therefore I resolved +to try again. Then, when I heard that you were engaged to Captain +Aylmer, I was indeed broken-hearted. Of course I could not be angry +with you. I was not angry, but I was simply broken-hearted. I found +that I loved you so much that I could not make myself happy without +you. It was all of no use, for I knew that you were to be married to +Captain Aylmer. I knew it, or thought that I knew it. There was +nothing to be done only I knew that I was wretched. I suppose it is +selfishness, but I felt, and still feel, that unless I can have you +for my wife, I cannot be happy or care for anything. Now you are free +again free, I mean, from Captain Aylmer and how is it possible that I +should not again have a hope? Nothing but your marriage or death +could keep me from hoping. + +'I don't know much about the Aylmers. I know nothing of what has made +you quarrel with the people at Aylmer Park nor do I want to know. To +me you are once more that Clara Amedroz with whom I used to walk in +Belton Park, with your hand free to be given wherever your heart can +go with it. While it is free I shall always ask for it. I know that +it is in many ways above my reach. I quite understand that in +education and habits of thinking you are my superior. But nobody can +love you better than I do. I sometimes fancy that nobody could ever +love you so well. Mary thinks that I ought to allow a time to go by +before I say all this again but what is the use of keeping it back? +It seems to me to be more honest to tell you at once that the only +thing in the world for which I care one straw is that you should be +my wife. + +'Your most affectionate Cousin, + +'WILLIAM BELTON.' + + +'Miss Belton is coming here, to the castle, in a fortnight,' said +Clara that morning at breakfast. Both Colonel Askerton and his wife +were in the room, and she was addressing herself chiefly to the +former. + +'Indeed, Miss Belton! And is he coming?' said Colonel Askerton. + +'So you have heard from Plaistow?' said Mrs Askerton. + +'Yes in answer to your letter. No, Colonel Askerton, my Cousin +William is not coming. But his sister purposes to be here, and I must +go up to the house and get it ready.' + +'That will do when the time comes,' said Mrs Askerton. + +'I did not mean quite immediately.' + +'And are you to be her guest, or is she to be yours? said Colonel +Askerton. + +'It's her brother's home, and therefore I suppose I must be hers. +Indeed it must be so, as I have no means of entertaining any one.' + +'Something, no doubt, will be settled,' said the colonel. + +'Oh, what a weary word that is,' said Clara; 'weary, at least, for a +woman's ears! It sounds of poverty and dependence, and endless +trouble given to others, and all the miseries of female dependence. +If I were a young man I should be allowed to settle for myself.' + +'There would be no question about the property in that case,' said +the colonel. + +'And there need be no question now,' said Mrs Askerton. + +When the two women were alone together, Clara, of course, scolded her +friend for having written to Norfolk without letting it be known that +she was doing so scolded her, and declared how vain it was for her to +make useless efforts for an unattainable end; but Mrs Askerton always +managed to slip out of these reproaches, neither asserting herself to +be right, nor owning herself to be wrong. 'But you must answer his +letter,' she said. + +'Of course I shall do that.' + +'I wish I knew what he said.' + +'I shan't show it you, if you mean that.' + +'All the same I wish I knew what he said.' + +Clara, of course, did answer the letter; but she wrote her answer to +Mary, sending, however, one little scrap to Mary's brother. She wrote +to Mary at great length, striving to explain, with long and laborious +arguments, that it was quite impossible that she should accept the +Belton estate from her cousin. That subject, however, and the manner +of her future life, she would discuss with her dear Cousin Mary, when +Mary should have arrived. And then Clara said how she would go to +Taunton to meet her cousin, and how she would prepare William's house +for the reception of William's sister; and how she would love her +cousin when she should come to know her. All of which was exceedingly +proper and pretty. Then there was a little postscript, 'Give the +enclosed to William.' And this was the note to William: + + +'Dear William, + +'Did you not say that you would be my brother? Be my brother always. +I will accept from your hands all that a brother could do; and when +that arrangement is quite fixed, I will love you as much as Mary +loves you, and trust you as completely; and I will be obedient, as a +younger sister should be. + +'Your loving Sister, + +'C. A.' + + +'It's all no good,' said William Belton, as he crunched the note in +his hand. 'I might as well shoot myself. Get out of the way there, +will you?' And the injured groom scudded across the farm-yard, +knowing that there was something wrong with his master. + + + +CHAPTER XXX + +MARY BELTON + +It was about the middle of the pleasant month of May when Clara +Amedroz again made that often repeated journey to Taunton, with the +object of meeting Mary Belton. She had transferred herself and her +own peculiar belongings back from the cottage to the house, and had +again established herself there so that she might welcome her new +friend. But she was not satisfied with simply receiving her guest at +Belton, and therefore she made the journey to Taunton, and settled +herself for the night at the inn. She was careful to get a bedroom +for an 'invalid lady', close to the sitting-room, and before she went +down to the station she saw that the cloth was laid for tea, and that +the tea parlour had been made to look as pleasant as was possible +with an inn parlour. + +She was very nervous as she stood upon the platform waiting for the +new comer to show herself. She knew that Mary was a cripple, but did +not know how far her cousin was disfigured by her infirmity; and when +she saw a pale-faced little woman, somewhat melancholy, but yet +pretty withal, with soft, clear eyes, and only so much appearance of +a stoop as to soften the hearts of those who saw her, Clara was +agreeably surprised, and felt herself to be suddenly relieved of an +unpleasant weight. She could talk to the woman she saw there, as to +any other woman, without the painful necessity of treating her always +as an invalid. 'I think you are Miss Belton?' she said, holding out +her hand. The likeness between Mary and her brother was too great to +allow of Clara being mistaken. + +'And you are Clara Amedroz? It is so good of you to come to meet me!' + +'I thought you would be dull in a strange town by yourself.' + +'It will be much nicer to have you with me.' + +Then they went together up to the inn; and when they had taken their +bonnets off, Mary Belton kissed her cousin. 'You are very nearly what +I fancied you,' said Mary. + +'Am I? I hope you fancied me to be something that you could like.' + +'Something that I could love very dearly. You are a little taller +than what Will said; but then a gentleman is never a judge of a +lady's height. And he said you were thin.' + +'I am not very fat.' + +'No; not very fat; but neither are you thin. Of course, you know, I +have thought a great deal about you. It seems as though you had come +to be so very near to us; and blood is thicker than water, is it not? +If cousins are not friends, who can be?' + +In the course of that evening they became very confidential together, +and Clara thought that she could love Mary Belton better than any +woman that she had ever known. Of course they were talking about +William, and Clara was at first in constant fear lest some word +should be said on her lover's behalf some word which would drive her +to declare that she would not admit him as a lover; but Mary +abstained from the subject with marvellous care and tact. Though she +was talking through the whole evening of her brother, she so spoke of +him as almost to make Clara believe that she could not have heard of +that episode in his life. Mrs Askerton would have dashed at the +subject at once; but then, as Clara told herself, Mary Bolton was +better than Mrs Askerton. + +A few words were said about the estate, and they originated in +Clara's declaration that Mary would have to be regarded as the +mistress of the house to which they were going. 'I cannot agree to +that,' said Mary. + +'But the house is William's, you know,' said Clara. + +'He says not.' + +'But of course that must be nonsense, Mary.' + +'It is very evident that you know nothing of Plaistow ways, or you +would not say that anything coming from William was nonsense. We are +accustomed to regard all his words as law, and when he says that a +thing is to be so, it always is so.' + +'Then he is a tyrant at home.' + +'A beneficent despot. Some despots, you know, always were +beneficent.' + +'He won't have his way in this thing.' + +'I'll leave you and him to fight about that, my dear. I am so +completely under his thumb that I always obey him in everything. You +must not, therefore, expect to range me on your side.' + +The next day they were at Belton Castle, and in a very few hours +Clara felt that she was quite at home with her cousin. On the second +day Mrs Askerton came up and called according to an arrangement to +that effect made between her and Clara. I'll stay away if you like +it,' Mrs Askerton had said. But Clara had urged her to come, arguing +with her that she was foolish to be thinking always of her own +misfortune. 'Of course I am always thinking of it,' she had replied, +and always thinking that other people are thinking of it. Your +cousin, Miss Belton, knows all my history, of course, But what +matters? I believe it would be better that everybody should know it. +I suppose she's very straight-laced and prim.'She is not prim at +all,' said Clara. 'Well, I'll come,' said Mrs Askerton, 'but I shall +not be a bit surprised if I hear that she goes back to Norfolk the +next day.' + +So Mrs Askerton came, and Miss Belton did not go back to Norfolk. +Indeed, at the end of the visit, Mrs Askerton had almost taught +herself to believe that William Belton had kept his secret, even from +his sister. 'She's a dear little woman,' Mrs Askerton afterwards said +to Clara. + +'Is she not?' + +'And so thoroughly like a lady.' + +'Yes; I think she is a lady.' + +'A princess among ladies! What a pretty little conscious way she has +of asserting herself when she has an opinion and means to stick to +it! I never saw a woman who got more strength out of her weakness. +Who would dare to contradict her?' + +'But then she knows everything so well,' said Clara. + +'And how like her brother she is!' + +'Yes there is a great family likeness.' + +'And in character, too. I'm sure you'd find, if you were to try her, +that she has all his personal firmness, though she can't show it as +he does by kicking out his feet and clenching his fist.' + +'I'm glad you like her,' said Clara. + +'I do like her very much.' + +'It is so odd the way you have changed. You used to speak of him as +though he was merely a clod of a farmer, and of her as a stupid old +maid. Now, nothing is too good to say of them.' + +'Exactly, my dear and if you do not understand why, you are not so +clever as I take you to be.' + +Life went on very pleasantly with them at Belton for two or three +weeks but with this drawback as regarded Clara, that she had no means +of knowing what was to be the course of her future life. During these +weeks she twice received letters from her Cousin Will, and answered +both of them. But these letters referred to matters of business which +entailed no contradiction to certain details of money due to the +estate before the old squire's death, and to that vexed question of +Aunt Winterfield's legacy, which had by this time drifted into +Belton's hands, and as to which he was inclined to act in accordance +with his cousin's wishes, though he was assured by Mr Green that the +legacy was as good a legacy as had ever been left by an old woman. 'I +think,' he said in his last letter,' that we shall be able to throw +him over in spite of Mr Green.' Clara, as she read this, could not +but remember that the man to be thrown over was the man to whom she +had been engaged, and she could not but remember also all the +circumstances of the intended legacy of her aunt's death, and of the +scenes which had immediately followed her death. It was so odd that +William Belton should now be discussing with her the means of evading +all her aunt's intentions and that he should be doing so, not as her +accepted lover. He had, indeed, called himself her brother, but he +was in truth her rejected lover. + +From time to time during these weeks Mrs Askerton would ask her +whether Mr Belton was coming to Belton, and Clara would answer her +with perfect truth that she did not believe that he had any such +intention. 'But he must come soon,' Mrs Askerton would say. And when +Clara would answer that she knew nothing about it, Mrs Askerton would +ask further questions about Mary Belton. 'Your cousin must know +whether her brother is coming to look after the property?' But Miss +Belton, though she heard constantly from her brother, gave no such +intimation. If he had any intention of coming, she did not speak of +it. During all these days she had not as yet said a word of her +brother's love. Though his name was daily in her mouth and latterly, +was frequently mentioned by Clara there had been no allusion to that +still enduring hope of which Will Belton himself could not but speak +when he had any opportunity of speaking at all. And this continued +till at last Clara was driven to suppose that Mary Belton knew +nothing of her brother's hopes. + +But at last there came a change a change which to Clara was as great +as that which had affected her when she first found that her +delightful cousin was not sale against love-making. She had made up +her mind that the sister did not intend to plead for her brother that +the sister probably knew nothing of the brother's necessity for +pleading that the brother probably had no further need for pleading +When she remembered his last passionate words, she could not but +accuse herself of hypocrisy when she allowed place in her thoughts to +this latter supposition. He had been so intently earnest! The nature +of the man was so eager and true! But yet, in spite of all that had +been said, of all the fire in his eyes, and life in his words, and +energy in his actions, he had at last seen that his aspirations were +foolish, and his desires vain. It could not otherwise be that she and +Mary should pass these hours in such calm repose without an allusion +to the disturbing subject! After this fashion, and with such +meditations as these, had passed by the last weeks and then at last +there came the change. + +'I have had a letter from William this morning,' said Mary. + +'And so have not I,' said Clara, and yet I expect to hear from him.' + +'He means to be here soon,' said Mary. + +'Oh, indeed!' + +'He speaks of being here next week.' + +For a moment or two Clara had yielded to the agitation caused by her +cousin's tidings; but with a little gush she recovered her presence +of mind, and was able to speak with all the hypocritical propriety of +a female. 'I am glad to hear it,' she said. 'It is only right that he +should come.' + +'He has asked me to say a word to you as to the purport of his +journey.' + +Then again Clara's courage and hypocrisy were so far subdued that +they were not able to maintain her in a position adequate to the +occasion. 'Well,' she said laughing, 'what is the word? I hope it is +not that I am to pack up, bag and baggage, and take myself elsewhere. +Cousin William is one of those persons who are willing to do +everything except what they are wanted to do. He will go on talking +about the Belton estate, when I want to know whether I may really +look for as much as twelve shillings a week to live upon.' + +'He wants me to speak to you about--about the earnest love he bears +for you.' + +'Oh dear! Mary;--could you not suppose it all to be said? It is an old +trouble, and need not be repeated.' + +'No,' said Mary, 'I cannot suppose it to be all said.' Clara looking +up as she heard the voice, was astonished both by the fire in the +woman's eye and by the force of her tone. 'I will not think so meanly +of you as to believe that such words from such a man can be passed by +as meaning nothing. I will not say that you ought to be able to love +him; in that you cannot control your heart; but if you cannot love +him, the want of such love ought to make you suffer to suffer much +and be very sad.' + +'I cannot agree to that, Mary.' + +'Is all his life nothing, then? Do you know what love means with +him;--this love which he bears to you? Do you understand that it is +everything to him?--that from the first moment in which he +acknowledged to himself that his heart was set upon you, he could not +bring himself to set it upon any other thing for a moment? Perhaps +you have never understood this; have never perceived that he is so +much in earnest, that to him it is more than money, or land, or +health,--more than life itself,--that he so loves that he would +willingly give everything that he has for his love? Have you known +this?' + +Clara would not answer these questions for a while. What if she had +known it all, was she therefore bound to sacrifice herself? Could it +be the duty of any woman to give herself to a man simply because a +man wanted her? That was the argument as it was put forward now by +Mary Belton. + +'Dear, dearest Clara,' said Mary Belton, stretching herself forward +from her chair, and putting out her thin, almost transparent, hand, +'I do not think that you have thought enough of this; or, perhaps, +you have not known it. But his love for you is as I say. To him it is +everything. It pervades every hour of every day, every corner in his +life! He knows nothing of anything else while he is in his present +state.' + +'He is very good more than good.' + +'He is very good.' + +'But I do not see that;--that-- Of course I know how disinterested he is.' + +'Disinterested is a poor word. It insinuates that in such a matter +there could be a question of what people call interest.' + +'And I know, too, how much he honours me.' + +'Honour is a cold word. It is not honour, but love downright true, +honest love. I hope he does honour you. I believe you to be an +honest, true woman; and, as he knows you well, he probably does +honour you but I am speaking of love.' Again Clara was silent. She +knew what should be her argument if she were determined to oppose her +cousin's pleadings; and she knew also she thought she knew that she +did intend to oppose them; but there was a coldness in the argument +to which she was averse. 'You cannot be insensible to such love as +that!' said Mary, going on with the cause which she had in hand. + +'You say that he is fond of me.' + +'Fond of you! I have not used such trifling expressions as that.' + +'That he loves me.' + +'You know he loves you. Have you ever doubted a word that he has +spoken to you on any subject?' + +'I believe he speaks truly.' + +'You know he speaks truly. He is the very soul of truth.' + +'But, Mary--' + +'Well, Clara! But remember; do not answer me lightly. Do not play +with a man's heart because you have it in your power.' + +'You wrong me. I could never do like that. You tell me that he loves +me but what if I do not love him? Love will not be constrained. Am I +to say that I love him because I believe that he loves me?' + +This was the argument, and Clara found herself driven to use it not +so much from its special applicability to herself, as on account of +its general fitness. Whether it did or did not apply to herself she +had no time to ask herself at that moment; but she felt that no man +could have a right to claim a woman's hand on the strength of his own +love unless he had been able to win her love. She was arguing on +behalf of women in general rather than on her own behalf. + +'If you mean to tell me that you cannot love him, of course I must +give over,' said Mary, not caring at all for men and women in +general, but full of anxiety for her brother. 'Do you mean to say +that that you can never love him?' It almost seemed, from her face, +that she was determined utterly to quarrel with her new-found cousin +to quarrel and to go at once away if she got an answer that would not +please her. + +'Dear Mary, do not press me so hard.' + +'But I want to press you hard. It is not right that he should lose +his life in longing and hoping.' + +'He will not lose his life, Mary.' + +'I hope not not not if I can help it. I trust that he will be strong +enough to get rid of his trouble to put it down and trample it under +his feet.' Clara, as she heard this, began to ask herself what it was +that was to be trampled under Will's feet. 'I think he will be man +enough to overcome his passion; and then, perhaps you may regret what +you have lost.' + +'Now you are unkind to me.' + +'Well; what would you have me say? Do I not know that he is offering +you the best gift that he can give? Did I not begin by swearing to +you that he loved you with a passion of love that cannot but be +flattering to you? If it is to be love in vain, this to him is a +great misfortune. And, yet, when I say that I hope that he will +recover, you tell me that I am unkind.' + +'No not for that.' + +'May I tell him to come and plead for himself?' + +Again Clara was silent, not knowing how to answer that last question. +And when she did answer it, she answered it thoughtlessly. 'Of course +he knows that he can do that.' + +'He says that he has been forbidden.' + +'Oh, Mary, what am I to say to you? You know it all, and I wonder +that you can continue to question me in this way.' + +'Know all what?' + +'That I have been engaged to Captain Aylmer.' + +'But you are not engaged to him now.' + +'No I am not.' + +'And there can be no renewal there, I suppose?' + +'Oh, no!' + +'Not even for my brother would I say a word if I thought' + +'No there is nothing of that; but If you cannot understand, I do not +think that I can explain it.' It seemed to Clara that her cousin, in +her anxiety for her brother, did not conceive that a woman, even if +she could suddenly transfer her affections from one man to another, +could not bring herself to say that she had done so. + +'I must write to him today,' said Mary, 'and I must give him some +answer. Shall I tell him that he had better not come here till you +are gone?' + +'That will perhaps be best,' said Clara. + +'Then he will never come at all.' + +'I can go can go at once. I will go at once. You shall never have to +say that my presence prevented his coming to his own house. I ought +not to be here. I know it now. I will go away, and you may tell him +that I am gone.' + +'No, dear; you will not go.' + +'Yes I must go. I fancied things might be otherwise, because he once +told me that he would be a brother to me. And I said I would hold him +to that not only because I want a brother so badly, but because I +love him so dearly. But it cannot be like that.' + +'You do not think that he will ever desert you?' + +'But I will go away, so that he may come to his own house. I ought +not to be here. Of course I ought not to be at Belton either in this +house or in any other. Tell him that I will be gone before he can +come, and tell him also that I will not be too proud to accept from +him what it may be fit that he should give me. I have no one but him +no one but him no one but him.' Then she burst into tears, and +throwing back her head, covered her face with her hands. + +Miss Belton, upon this, rose slowly from the chair on which she was +sitting, and making her way painfully across to Clara, stood leaning +on the weeping girl's chair. 'You shall not go while I am here,' she +said. + +'Yes; I must go. He cannot come till I am gone.' + +'Think of it all once again, Clara. May I not tell him to come, and +that while he is coming you will see if you cannot soften your heart +towards him?' + +'Soften my heart! Oh, if I could only harden it!' + +'He would wait. If you would only bid him wait, he would be so happy +in waiting.' + +'Yes till tomorrow morning. I know him. Hold out your little finger +to him, and he has your whole hand and arm in a moment.' + +'I want you to say that you will try to love him.' + +But Clara was in truth trying not to love him. She was ashamed of +herself because she did love the one man, when, but a few weeks +since, she had confessed that she loved another. She had mistaken +herself and her own feelings, not in reference to her cousin, but in +supposing that she could really have sympathized with such a man as +Captain Aylmer. It was necessary to her self-respect that she should +be punished because of that mistake. She could not save herself from +this condemnation she would not grant herself a respite because, by +doing so, she would make another person happy. Had Captain Aylmer +never crossed her path, she would have given her whole heart to her +cousin. Nay; she had so given it had done so, although Captain Aylmer +had crossed her path and come in her way. But it was matter of shame +to her to find that this had been possible, and she could not bring +herself to confess her shame. + +The conversation at last ended, as such conversations always do end, +without any positive decision. Mary wrote of course to her brother, +but Clara was not told of the contents of the letter. We, however, +may know them, and may understand their nature, without learning +above two lines of the letter. 'If you can be content to wait awhile, +you will succeed,' said Mary; 'but when were you ever content to wait +for anything?' 'If there is anything I hate, it is waiting,' said +Will, when he received the letter; nevertheless the letter made him +happy, and he went about his farm with a sanguine heart, as he +arranged matters for another absence. 'Away long?' he said, in answer +to a question asked him by his head man; 'how on earth can I say how +long I shall be away? You can go on well enough without me by this +time, I should think. You will have to learn, for there is no knowing +how often I may be away, or for how long.' + +When Mary said that the letter had been written, Clara again spoke +about going. 'And where will you go?' said Mary. + +'I will take a lodging in Taunton.' + +'He would only follow you there, and there would be more trouble. +That would be all. He must act as your guardian, and in that +capacity, at any rate, you must submit to him.' Clara, therefore, +consented to remain at Belton; but, before Will arrived, she returned +from the house to the cottage. + +'Of course I understand all about it,' said Mrs Askerton; 'and let me +tell you this that if it is not all settled within a week from his +coming here, I shall think that you are without a heart. He is to be +knocked about, and cuffed, and kept from his work, and made to run up +and down between here and Norfolk, because you cannot bring yourself +to confess that you have been a fool.' + +'I have never said that I have not been a fool,' said Clara. + +'You have made a mistake as young women will do sometimes, even when +they are as prudent and circumspect as you are and now you don't +quite like the task of putting it right.' + +It was all true, and Clara knew that it was true. The putting right +of mistakes is never pleasant; and in this case it was so unpleasant +that she could not bring herself to acknowledge that it must be done. +And yet, I think that, by this time, she was aware of the necessity. + + + +CHAPTER XXXI + +TAKING POSSESSION + +'I want her to have it all,' said William Belton to Mr Green, the +lawyer, when they came to discuss the necessary arrangements for the +property. + +'But that would be absurd.' + +'Never mind. It is what I wish. I suppose a man may do what he likes +with his own.' + +'She won't take it,' said the lawyer. + +'She must take it, if you manage the matter properly,' said Will. + +'I don't suppose it will make much difference,' said the lawyer,--'now +that Captain Aylmer is out of the running.' + +'I know nothing about that. Of course I am very glad that he should +be out of the running, as you call it. He is a bad sort of fellow, +and I didn't want him to have the property. But all that has had +nothing to do with it. I'm not doing it because I think she is ever +to be my wife.' + +From this the reader will understand that Belton was still fidgeting +himself and the lawyer about the estate when he passed through +London. The matter in dispute, however, was so important that he was +induced to seek the advice of others besides Mr Green, and at last +was brought to the conclusion that it was his paramount duty to +become Belton of Belton. There seemed in the minds of all these +councillors to be some imperative and almost imperious requirement +that the acres should go back to a man of his name. Now, as there was +no one else of the family who could stand in his way, he had no +alternative but to become Belton of Belton. He would, however, sell +his estate in Norfolk, and raise money for endowing Clara with +commensurate riches. Such was his own plan but having fallen among +counsellors he would not exactly follow his own plan, and at last +submitted to an arrangement in accordance with which an annuity of +eight hundred pounds a year was to be settled upon Clara, and this +was to lie as a charge upon the estate in Norfolk. + +'It seems to me to be very shabby,' said William Belton. + +'It seems to me to be very extravagant,' said the leader among the +counsellors. 'She is not entitled to sixpence.' + +But at last the arrangement as above described was the one to which +they all assented. + +When Belton reached the house which was now his own he found no one +there but his sister. Clara was at the cottage. As he had been told +that she was to return there, he had no reason to be annoyed. But, +nevertheless, he was annoyed, or rather discontented, and had not +been a quarter of an hour about the place before he declared his +intention to go and seek her. + +'Do no such thing, Will; pray do not,' said his sister. + +'And why not?' + +'Because it will be better that you should wait. You will only injure +yourself and her by being impetuous.' + +'But it is absolutely necessary that she should know her own +position. It would be cruelty to keep her in ignorance though for the +matter of that I shall be ashamed to tell her. Yes I shall be ashamed +to look her in the face. What will she think of it after I had +assured her that she should have the whole?' + +'But she would not have taken it, Will. And had she done so, she +would have been very wrong. Now she will be comfortable.' + +'I wish I could be comfortable,' said he. + +'If you will only wait--' + +'I hate waiting. I do not see what good it will do. Besides, I don't +mean to say anything about that,--not today, at least. I don't indeed. +As for being here and not seeing her, that is out of the question. Of +course she would think that I had quarrelled with her, and that I +meant to take everything to myself, now that I have the power.' + +'She won't suspect you of wishing to quarrel with her, Will.' + +'I should in her place. It is out of the question that I should be +here, and not go to her. It would be monstrous. I will wait till they +have done lunch, and then I will go up.' + +It was at last decided that he should walk up to the cottage, call +upon Colonel Askerton, and ask to see Clara in the colonel's +presence. It was thought that he could make his statement about the +money better before a third person who could be regarded as Clara's +friend, than could possibly be done between themselves. He did, +therefore, walk across to the cottage, and was shown into Colonel +Askerton's study. + +'There he is,' Mrs Askerton said, as soon as she heard the sound of +the bell. 'I knew that he would come at once.' + +During the whole morning Mrs Askerton had been insisting that Belton +would make his appearance on that very day the day of his arrival at +Belton, and Clara had been asserting that he would not do so. + +'Why should he come?' Clara had said. + +'Simply to take you to his own house, like any other of his goods and +chattels.' + +'I am not his goods or his chattels.' + +'But you soon will be; and why shouldn't you accept your lot quietly? +He is Belton of Belton, and everything here belongs to him.' + +'I do not belong to him.' + +'What nonsense! When a man has the command of the situation, as he +has, he can do just what he pleases. If he were to come and carry you +off by violence, I have no doubt the Beltonians would assist him, and +say that he was right. And you of course would forgive him. Belton of +Belton may do anything.' + +'That is nonsense, if you please.' + +'Indeed if you had any of that decent feeling of feminine inferiority +which ought to belong to all women, he would have found you sitting +on the doorstep of his house waiting for him.' + +That had been said early in the morning, when they first knew that he +had arrived; but they had been talking about him ever since talking +about him under pressure from Mrs Askerton, till Clara had been +driven to long that she might be spared. 'If he chooses to come, he +will come,' she said. 'Of course he will come,' Mrs Askerton had +answered, and then they heard the ring of the hell. 'There he is. I +could swear to the sound of his foot. Doesn't he step as though he +were Belton of Belton, and conscious that everything belonged to +him?' Then there was a pause. 'He has been shown in to Colonel +Askerton. What on earth could he want with him?' + +'He has called to tell him something about the cottage,' said Clara, +endeavouring to speak as though she were calm through it all. + +'Cottage! Fiddlestick! The idea of a man coming to look after his +trumpery cottage on the first day of his showing himself as lord of +his own property! Perhaps he is demanding that you shall be delivered +up to him. If he does I shall vote for obeying.' + +'And I for disobeying and shall vote very strongly too.' + +Their suspense was yet prolonged for another ten minutes, and at the +end of that time the servant came in and asked if Miss Amedroz would +be good enough to go into the master's room. 'Mr Belton is there, +Fanny?' asked Mrs Askerton. The girl confessed that Mr Belton was +there, and then Clara, without another word, got up and left the +room. She had much to do in assuming a look of composure before she +opened the door; but she made the effort, and was not unsuccessful. +In another second she found her hand in her cousin's, and his bright +eye was fixed upon her with that eager friendly glance which made his +face so pleasant to those whom he loved. + +'Your cousin has been telling me of the arrangements he has been +making for you with the lawyers,' said Colonel Askerton. 'I can only +say that I wish all the ladies had cousins so liberal, and so able to +be liberal.' + +'I thought I would see Colonel Askerton first, as you are staying at +his house. And as for liberality there is nothing of the kind. You +must understand, Clara, that a fellow can't do what he likes with his +own in this country. I have found myself so bullied by lawyers and +that sort of people, that I have been obliged to yield to them. I +wanted that you should have the old place, to do just what you +pleased with It.' + +'That was out of the question, Will.' + +'Of course it was,' said Colonel Askerton. Then, as Belton himself +did not proceed to the telling of his own story, the colonel told it +for him, and explained what was the income which Clara was to +receive. + +'But that is as much out of the question,' said she, 'as the other. I +cannot rob you in that way. I cannot and I shall not. And why should +I? What do I want with an income? Something I ought to have, if only +for the credit of the family, and that I am willing to take from your +kindness; but--' + +'It's all settled now, Clara.' + +'I don't think that you can lessen the weight of your obligation, +Miss Amedroz, after what has been done up in London,' said the +colonel. + +'If you had said a hundred a year--' + +'I have been allowed to say nothing,' said Belton; 'those people have +said eight,--and so it is settled. When are you coming over to see +Mary?' + +To this question he got no definite answer, and as he went away +immediately afterwards he hardly seemed to expect one. He did not +even ask for Mrs Askerton, and as that lady remarked, behaved +altogether like a bear. 'But what a munificent bear!' she said. +'Fancy;--eight hundred a year of your own. One begins to doubt whether +it is worth one's while to marry at all with such an income as that +to do what one likes with! However, it all means nothing. It will all +be his own again before you have even touched it.' + +'You must not say anything more about that,' said Clara gravely. + +'And why must I not?' + +'Because I shall hear nothing more of it. There is an end of all that +as there ought to be.' + +'Why an end? I don't see an end. There will be no end till Belton of +Belton has got you and your eight hundred a year as well as +everything else.' + +'You will find that he does not mean anything more,' said Clara. + +'You think not?' + +'I am sure of it.' Then there was a little sound in her throat as +though she were in some danger of being choked; but she soon +recovered herself, and was able to express herself clearly. 'I have +only one favour to ask you now, Mrs Askerton, and that is that you +will never say anything more about him. He has changed his mind. Of +course he has, or he would not come here like that and have gone away +without saying a word.' + +'Not a word! A man gives you eight hundred a year and that is not +saying a word!' + +'Not a word except about money! But of course he is right. I know +that he is right. Alter what has passed he would be very wrong to to +think about it any more. You joke about his being Belton of Belton. +But it does make a difference.' + +'It does does it?' + +'It has made a difference. I see and feel it now. I shall never hear +him ask me that question any more.' + +'And if you did hear him, what answer would you make him?' + +'I don't know.' + +'That is just it. Women are so cross-grained that it is a wonder to +me that men should ever have anything to do with them. They have +about them some madness of a phantasy which they dignify with the +name of feminine pride, and under the cloak of this they believe +themselves to be justified in tormenting their lovers' lives out. The +only consolation is that they torment themselves as much. Can +anything be more cross-grained than you are at this moment? You were +resolved just now that it would be the most unbecoming thing in the +world if he spoke a word more about his love for the next twelve +months--' + +'Mrs Askerton, I said nothing about twelve months.' + +'And now you are broken-hearted because he did not blurt it all out +before Colonel Askerton in a business interview, which was very +properly had at once, and in which he has had the exceeding good +taste to confine himself altogether to the one subject.' + +'I am not complaining.' + +'It was good taste; though if he had not been a bear he might have +asked after me, who am fighting his battles for him night and day.' + +'But what will he do next?' + +'Eat his dinner, I should think, as it is now nearly five o'clock. +Your father used always to dine at five.' + +'I can't go to see Mary,' she said, 'till he comes here again.' + +'He will be here fast enough. I shouldn't wonder if he was to come +here tonight.' And he did come again that night. + +When Belton's interview was over in the colonel's study, he left the +house without even asking after the mistress, as that mistress had +taken care to find out and went off, rambling about the estate which +was now his own. It was a beautiful place, and he was not insensible +to the gratification of being its owner. There is much in the glory +of ownership of the ownership of land and houses, of beeves and +woolly flocks, of wide fields and thick-growing woods, even when that +ownership is of late date, when it conveys to the owner nothing but +the realization of a property on the soil; but there is much more in +it when it contains the memories of old years; when the glory is the +glory of race as well as the glory of power and property. There had +been Beltons of Belton living there for many centuries, and now he +was the Belton of the day, standing on his own ground the descendant +and representative of the Beltons of old Belton of Belton without a +flaw in his pedigree! He felt himself to be proud of his position +prouder than he could have been of any other that might have been +vouchsafed to him. And yet amidst it all he was somewhat ashamed of +his pride. 'The man who can do it for himself is the real man after +all,' he said. 'But I have got it by a fluke and by such a sad chance +too!' Then he wandered on, thinking of the circumstances under which +the property had fallen into his hands, and remembering how and when +and where the first idea had occurred to him of making Clara Amedroz +his wife. He had then felt that if he could only do that he could +reconcile himself to the heirship. And the idea had grown upon him +instantly, and had become a passion by the eagerness with which he +had welcomed it. From that day to this he had continued to tell +himself that he could not enjoy his good fortune unless he could +enjoy it with her. There had come to be a horrid impediment in his +way a barrier which had seemed to have been placed there by his evil +fortune, to compensate the gifts given to him by his good fortune, +and that barrier had been Captain Aylmer. He had not, in fact, seen +much of his rival, but he had seen enough to make it matter of wonder +to him that Clara could be attached to such a man. He had thoroughly +despised Captain Aylmer, and had longed to show his contempt of the +man by kicking him out of the hotel at the London railway station. At +that moment all the world had seemed to him to be wrong and wretched. + +But now it seemed that all the world might so easily be made right +again! The impediment had got itself removed. Belton did not even yet +altogether comprehend by what means Clara had escaped from the meshes +of the Aylmer Park people, but he did know that she had escaped. Her +eyes had been opened before it was too late, and she was a free woman +to be compassed if only a man might compass her. While she had been +engaged to Captain Aylmer, Will had felt that she was not assailable. +Though he had not been quite able to restrain himself as on that +fatal occasion when he had taken her in his arms and kissed her still +he had known that as she was an engaged woman, he could not, without +insulting her, press his own suit upon her. But now all that was +over. Let him say what he liked on that head, she would have no +proper plea for anger. She was assailable and, as this was so, why +the mischief should he not set about the work at once? His sister +bade him wait. Why should he wait when one fortunate word might do +it? Wait! He could not wait. How are you to bid a starving man to +wait when you put him down at a well-covered board? Here was he, +walking about Belton Park just where she used to walk with him and +there was she at Belton Cottage, within half an hour of him at this +moment, if he were to go quickly; and yet Mary was telling him to +wait! No; he would not wait. There could be no reason for waiting. +Wait, indeed, till some other Captain Aylmer should come in the way +and give him more trouble! + +So he wandered on, resolving that he would see his cousin again that +very day. Such an interview as that which had just taken place +between two such dear friends was not natural,--was not to be endured. +What might not Clara think of it! To meet her for the first time +after her escape from Aylmer Park, and to speak to her only on +matters concerning money! He would certainly go to her again on that +afternoon. In his walking he came to the bottom of the rising ground +on the top of which stood the rock on which he and Clara had twice +sat. But he turned away, and would not go up to it. He hoped that he +might go up to it very soon,--but, except under certain circumstances, +he would never go up to it again. + +'I am going across to the cottage immediately after dinner,' he said +to his sister. + +'Have you an appointment?' + +'No; I have no appointment. I suppose a man doesn't want an +appointment to go and see his own cousin down in the country.' + +'I don't know what their habits are.' + +'I shan't ask to go in; but I want to see her.' + +Mary looked at him with loving, sorrowing eyes, but she said no more. +She loved him so well that she would have given her right hand to get +for him what he wanted but she sorrowed to think that he should want +such a thing so sorely. Immediately after his dinner, he took his hat +and went out without saying a word further, and made his way once +more across to the gate of the cottage. It was a lovely summer +evening, at that period of the year in which our summer evenings just +begin, when the air is sweeter and the flowers more fragrant, and the +forms of the foliage more lovely than at any other time. It was now +eight o'clock, but it was hardly as yet evening; none at least of the +gloom of evening had come, though the sun was low in the heavens. At +the cottage they were all sitting out on the lawn; and as Belton came +near he was seen by them, and he saw them. + +'I told you so,' said Mrs Askerton, to Clara, in a whisper. + +'He is not coming in,' Clara answered. 'He is going on.' + +But when he had come nearer, Colonel Askerton called to him over the +garden paling, and asked him to join them. He was now standing within +ten or fifteen yards of them, though the fence divided them. 'I have +come to ask my Cousin Clara to take a walk with me,' he said. 'She +can be back by your tea time.' He made his request very placidly, and +did not in any way look like a lover. + +'I am sure she will be glad to go,' said Mrs Askerton. But Clara said +nothing. + +'Do take a turn with me, if you are not tired,' said he. + +'She has not been out all day, and cannot be tired,' said Mrs +Askerton, who had now walked up to the paling. 'Clara, get your hat. +But, Mr Belton, what have I done that I am to be treated in this way? +Perhaps you don't remember that you have not spoken to me since your +arrival.' + +'Upon my word, I beg your pardon,' said he, endeavouring to stretch +his hand across the bushes. + +'I forgot I didn't see you this morning.' + +'I suppose I musn't be angry, as this is your day of taking +possession; but it is exactly on such days as this that one likes to +be remembered.' + +'I didn't mean to forget you, Mrs Askerton; I didn't, indeed. And as +for the special day, that's all bosh, you know. I haven't taken +particular possession of anything that I know of.' + +'I hope you will, Mr Belton, before the day is over,' said she. Clara +had at length arisen, and had gone into the house to fetch her hat. +She had not spoken a word, and even yet her cousin did not know +whether she was coming. 'I hope you will take possession of a great +deal that is very valuable. Clara has gone to get her hat.' + +'Do you think she means to walk?' + +'I think she does, Mr Belton. And there she is at the door. Mind you +bring her back to tea.' + +Clara, as she came forth, felt herself quite unable to speak, or +walk, or look after her usual manner. She knew herself to be a victim +to be so far a victim that she could no longer control her own fate. +To Captain Aylmer, at any rate, she had never succumbed. In all her +dealings with him she had fought upon an equal footing. She had never +been compelled to own herself mastered. But now she was being led out +that she might confess her own submission, and acknowledge that +hitherto she had not known what was good for her. She knew that she +would have to yield. She must have known how happy she was to have an +opportunity of yielding; but yet yet, had there been any room for +choice, she thought she would have refrained from walking with her +cousin that evening. She had wept that afternoon because she had +thought that he would not come again; and now that he had come at the +first moment that was possible for him, she was almost tempted to +wish him once more away. + +'I suppose you understand that when I came up this morning I came +merely to talk about business,' said Belton, as soon as they were off +together. + +'It was very good of you to come at all so soon after your arrival.' + +'I told those people in London that I would have it all settled at +once, and so I wanted to have it off my mind.' + +'I don't know what I ought to say to you. Of course I shall not want +so much money as that.' + +'We won't talk about the money any more today. I hate talking about +money.' + +'It is not the pleasantest subject in the world.' + +'No,' said he; 'no indeed. I hate it particularly between friends. So +you have come to grief with your friends, the Aylmers?' + +'I hope I haven't come to grief and the Aylmers, as a family, never +were my friends. I'm obliged to contradict you, point by point you +see.' + +'I don't like Captain Aylmer at all,' said Will, after a pause. + +'So I saw, Will; and I dare say he was not very fond of you.' 'Fond +of me! I didn't want him to be fond of me. I don't suppose he ever +thought much about me. I could not help thinking of him.' She had +nothing to say to this, and therefore walked on silently by his side. +'I suppose he has not any idea of coming back here again?' + +'What; to Belton? No, I do not think he will come to Belton any +more.' + +'Nor will you go to Aylmer Park?' + +'No; certainly not. Of all the places on earth. Will, to which you +could send me, Aylmer Park is the one to which I should go most +unwillingly.' + +'I don't want to send you there.' + +'You never could be made to understand what a woman she is; how +disagreeable, how cruel, how imperious, how insolent.' + +'Was she so bad as all that?' + +'Indeed she was, Will. I can't but tell the truth to you.' + +'And he was nearly as bad as she.' + +'No, Will; no; do not say that of him.' + +'He was such a quarrelsome fellow. He flew at me just because I said +we had good hunting down in Norfolk.' + +'We need not talk about all that, Will.' + +'No of course not. It's all passed and gone, I suppose.' + +'Yes it is all passed and gone. You did not know my Aunt Winterfield, +or you would understand my first reason for liking him.' + +'No,' said Will; 'I never saw her.' + +Then they walked on together for a while without speaking, and Clara +was beginning to feel some relief some relief at first; but as the +relief came, there came back to her the dead, dull, feeling of +heaviness at her heart which had oppressed her after his visit in the +morning. She had been right, and Mrs Askerton had been wrong. He had +returned to her simply as her cousin, and now he was walking with her +and talking to her in this strain, to teach her that it was so. But +of a sudden they came to a place where two paths diverged, and he +turned upon her and asked her quickly which path they should take. +'Look, Clara,' he said, 'will you go up there with me?' It did not +need that she should look, as she knew that the way indicated by him +led up among the rocks. + +'I don't much care which way,' she said, faintly. + +'Do you not? But I do. I care very much. Don't you remember where +that path goes?' She had no answer to give to this. She remembered +well, and remembered how he had protested that he would never go to +the place again unless he could go there as her accepted lover. And +she had asked herself sundry questions as to that protestation. Could +it be that for her sake he would abstain from visiting the prettiest +spot on his estate that he would continue to regard the ground as +hallowed because of his memories of her? 'Which way shall we go?' he +asked. + +'I suppose it does not much signify,' said she, trembling. + +'But it does signify. It signifies very much to me. Will you go up to +the rocks?' + +'I am afraid we shall be late, if we stay out long.' + +'What matters how late? Will you come?' + +'I suppose so if you wish it, Will.' + +She had anticipated that the high rock was to be the altar at which +the victim was to be sacrificed; but now he would not wait till he +had taken her to the sacred spot. He had of course intended that he +would there renew his offer; but he had perceived that his offer had +been renewed, and had, in fact, been accepted, during this little +parley as to the pathway. There was hardly any necessity for further +words. So he must have thought; for, as quick as lightning, he flung +his arms around her, and kissed her again, as he had kissed her on +that other terrible occasion that occasion on which he had felt that +he might hardly hope for pardon. + +'William, William,' she said; 'how can you serve me like that?' But +he had a full understanding as to his own privileges, and was well +aware that he was in the right now, as he had been before that he was +trespassing egregiously. 'Why are you so rough with me?' she said. + +'Clara, say that you love me.' + +'I will say nothing to you because you are so rough.' They were now +walking up slowly towards the rocks. + +And as he had his arm round her waist, he was contented for awhile to +allow her to walk without speaking. But when they were on the summit +it was necessary for him that he should have a word from her of +positive assurance. 'Clara, say that you love me.' + +'Have I not always loved you, Will, since almost the first moment +that I saw you?' + +'But that won't do. You know that is not fair. Come, Clara; I've had +a deal of trouble and grief too; haven't I? You should say a word to +make up for it that is, if you can say it.' + +'What can a word like that signify to you today? You have got +everything.' + +'Have I got you?' Still she paused. 'I will have an answer. Have I +got you? Are you now my own?' + +'I suppose so, Will. Don't now. I will not have it again. Does not +that satisfy you?' + +'Tell me that you love me.' + +'You know that I love you.' + +'Better than anybody in the world?' + +'Yes better than anybody in the world.' + +'And after all you will be my wife?' + +'Oh, Will how you question one!' + +'You shall say it, and then it will all be fair and honest.' + +'Say what? I'm sure I thought I had said everything.' + +'Say that you mean to be my wife.' + +'I suppose so if you wish it.' + +'Wish it!' said he, getting up from his seat, and throwing his hat +into the bushes on one side; 'wish it! I don't think you have ever +understood howl have wished it. Look here, Clara; I found when I got +down to Norfolk that I couldn't live without you. Upon my word it is +true. I don't suppose you'll believe me.' + +'I didn't think it could be so bad with you as that.' + +'No I don't suppose women ever do believe. And I wouldn't have +believed it of myself. I hated myself for it. By George, I did. That +is when I began to think it was all up with me.' + +'All up with you! Oh, Will!' + +'I had quite made up my mind to go to New Zealand. I had, indeed. I +couldn't have kept my hands off that man if we had been living in the +same country. I should have wrung his neck.' + +'Will, how can you talk so wickedly?' + +'There's no understanding it till you have felt it. But never mind. +It's all right now; isn't it, Clara?' + +'If you think so.' + +'Think so! Oh, Clara, I am such a happy fellow. Do give me a kiss. +You have never given me one kiss yet.' + +'What nonsense! I didn't think you were such a baby.' + +'By George, but you shall or you shall never get home to tea +to-night. My own, own, own darling. Upon my word, Clara, when I begin +to think about it I shall be half mad.' + +'I think you are quite that already.' + +'No, I'm not but I shall be when I'm alone. What can I say to you, +Clara, to make you understand how much I love you? You remember the +song, "For Bonnie Annie Laurie I'd lay me down and dee". Of course it +is all nonsense talking of dying for a woman. What a man has to do is +to live for her. But that is my feeling. I'm ready to give you my +life. If there was anything to do for you, I'd do it if I could, +whatever it was. Do you understand me?' + +'Dear Will! Dearest Will!' + +'Am I dearest?' + +'Are you not sure of it?' + +'But I like you to tell me so. I like to feel that you are not +ashamed to own it. You ought to say it a few times to me, as I have +said it so very often to you.' + +'You'll hear enough of it before you've done with me.' + +'I shall never have heard enough of it. Oh, Heavens, only think, when +I was coming down in the train last night I was in such a bad way.' + +'And are you in a good way now?' + +'Yes; in a very good way. I shall crow over Mary so when I get home.' + +'And what has poor Mary done?' + +'Never mind.' + +'I dare say she knows what is good for you better than you know +yourself. I suppose she has told you that you might do a great deal +better than trouble yourself with a wife?' + +'Never mind what she has told me. It is settled now is it not? + +'I hope so, Will.' + +'But not quite settled as yet. When shall it be? That is the next +question.' + +But to that question Clara positively refused to make any reply that +her lover would consider to be satisfactory. He continued to press +her till she was at last driven to remind him how very short a time +it was since her father had been among them; and then he was very +angry with himself, and declared himself to be a brute. 'Anything but +that,' she said. 'You are the kindest and the best of men but at the +same time the most impatient.' + +'That's what Mary says; but what's the good of waiting? She wanted me +to wait today.' + +'And as you would not, you have fallen into a trap out of which you +can never escape. But pray let us go. What will they think of us?' + +'I shouldn't wonder if they didn't think something near the truth.' + +'Whatever they think, we will go back. It is ever so much past nine.' + +'Before you stir, Clara, tell me one thing. Are you really happy?' + +'Very happy.' + +'And are you glad that this has been done?' + +'Very glad. Will that satisfy you?' + +'And you do love me?' + +'I do--I do--I do. Can I say more than that? + +'More than anybody else in the world?' + +'Better than all the world put together.' + +'Then,' said he, holding her tight in his arms, 'show me that you +love me.' And as he made his request he was quick to explain to her +what, according to his ideas, was the becoming mode by which lovers +might show their love. I wonder whether it ever occurred to Clara, as +she thought of it all before she went to bed that night, that Captain +Aylmer and William Belton were very different in their manners. And +if so, I must wonder further whether she most approved the manners of +the patient man or the man who was impatient. + + + +CHAPTER XXXII + +CONCLUSION + +About two months after the scene described in the last chapter, when +the full summer had arrived, Clara received two letters from the two +lovers the history of whose loves have just been told, and these +shall be submitted to the reader, as they will serve to explain the +manner in which the two men proposed to arrange their affairs. We +will first have Captain Aylmer's letter, which was the first read; +Clara kept the latter for the last, as children always keep their +sweetest morsels. + + +'Aylmer Park, August 188 + +'My dear Miss Amedroz, + +'I heard before leaving London that you are engaged to marry your +cousin Mr William Belton, and I think that perhaps you may be +satisfied to have a line from me to let you know that I quite approve +of the marriage.' 'I do not care very much for his approval or +disapproval,' said Clara as she read this. 'No doubt it will be the +best thing you can do, especially as it will heal all the sores +arising from the entail.' 'There never was any sore,' said Clara. +'Pray give my compliments to Mr Belton, and offer him my +congratulations, and tell him that I wish him all happiness in the +married state.' 'Married fiddlestick!' said Clara. In this she was +unreasonable; but the euphonious platitudes of Captain Aylmer were so +unlike the vehement protestations of Mr Belton that she must be +excused if by this time she had come to entertain something of an +unreasonable aversion for the former. + +'I hope you will not receive my news with perfect indifference when I +tell you that I also am going to be married. The lady is one whom I +have known for a long time, and have always esteemed very highly. She +is Lady Emily Tagmaggert, the youngest daughter of the Earl of Mull.' +Why Clara should immediately have conceived a feeling of supreme +contempt for Lady Emily Tagmaggert, and assured herself that her +ladyship was a thin, dry, cross old maid with a red nose, I cannot +explain; but I do know that such were her thoughts, almost +instantaneously, in reference to Captain Aylmer's future bride. 'Lady +Emily is a very intimate friend of my sister's; and you, who know how +our family cling together, will feel how thankful I must be when I +tell you that my mother quite approves of the engagement. I suppose +we shall be married early in the spring. We shall probably spend some +months every year at Perivale, and I hope that we may look forward to +the pleasure of seeing you sometimes as a guest beneath our roof.' On +reading this Clara shuddered, and made some inward protestation which +seemed to imply that she had no wish whatever to revisit the dull +streets of the little town with which she had been so well +acquainted. 'I hope she'll be good to poor Mr Possit,' said Clara, +'and give him port wine on Sundays.' + +'I have one more thing that I ought to say. You will remember that I +intended to pay my aunt's legacy immediately after her death, but +that I was prevented by circumstances which I could not control. I +have paid it now into Mr Green's hands on your account, together with +the sum of L59 18s 3d., which is due upon it as interest at the rate +of 5 per cent. I hope that this may be satisfactory.' 'It is not +satisfactory at all,' said Clara, putting down the letter, and +resolving that Will Belton should be instructed to repay the money +instantly. It may, however, be explained here that in this matter +Clara was doomed to be disappointed; and that she was forced, by Mr +Green's arguments, to receive the money. 'Then it shall go to the +hospital at Perivale,' she declared when those arguments were used. +As to that, Mr Green was quite indifferent, but I do not think that +the legacy which troubled poor Aunt Winterfield so much on her dying +bed was ultimately applied to so worthy a purpose. + +'And now, my dear Miss Amedroz,' continued the letter, 'I will say +farewell, with many assurances of my unaltered esteem, and with +heartfelt wishes for your future happiness. Believe me to be always, + +'Most faithfully and sincerely yours, + +'FREDERIC F. AYLMER. + + +'Esteem!' said Clara, as she finished the letter. 'I wonder which he +esteems the most, me or Lady Emily Tagmaggert. He will never get +beyond esteem with any one. + +The letter which was last read was as follows: + + +'Plaistow, August 186--. + +'Dearest Clara, + +'I don't think I shall ever get done, and I am coming to hate farming. +It is awful lonely here, too, and I pass all my evenings by myself, +wondering why I should be doomed to this kind of thing, while you and +Mary are comfortable together at Belton. We have begun with the +wheat, and as soon as that is safe I shall cut and run. I shall leave +the barley to Bunce. Bunce knows as much about it as I do and as for +remaining here all the summer, it's out of the question. + +'My own dear, darling love, of course I don't intend to urge you to do +anything that you don't like; but upon my honour I don't see the +force of what you say. You know I have as much respect for your +father's memory as anybody, but what harm can it do to him that we +should be married at once? Don't you think he would have wished it +himself? It can be ever so quiet. So long as it's done, I don't care +a straw how it's done. Indeed, for the matter of that, I always think +it would be best just to walk to church and to walk home again +without saying anything to anybody. I hate fuss and nonsense, and +really I don't think anybody would have a right to say anything if we +were to do it at once in that sort of way. I have had a bad time of +it for the last twelvemonth. You must allow that, and I think that I +ought to be rewarded. + +'As for living, you shall have your choice. Indeed you shall live +anywhere you please at Timbuctoo if you like it. I don't want to give +up Plaistow, because my father and grandfather farmed the land +themselves; but I am quite prepared not to live here. I don't think +it would suit you, because it has so much of the farm-house about it. +Only I should like you sometimes to come and look at the old place. +What I should like would be to pull down the house at Belton and +build another. But you mustn't propose to put it off till that's +done, as I should never have the heart to do it. If you think that +would suit you, I'll make up my mind to live at Belton for a +constancy; and then I'd go in for a lot of cattle, and don't doubt +I'd make a fortune. I'm almost sick of looking at the straight ridges +in the big square fields every day of my life. + +'Give my love to Mary. I hope she fights my battle for me. Pray think +of all this, and relent if you can. I do so long to have an end of +this purgatory. If there was any use, I wouldn't say a word; but +there's no good in being tortured, when there is no use. God bless +you, dearest love. I do love you so well! + +'Yours most affectionately, + +'W. BELTON.' + + +She kissed the letter twice, pressed it to her bosom, and then sat +silent for half an hour thinking of it of it, and the man who wrote +it, and of the man who had written the other letter. She could not +but remember how that other man had thought to treat her, when it was +his intention and her intention that they two should join their lots +together how cold he had been; how full of caution and counsel; how +he had preached to her himself and threatened her with the preaching +of his mother; how manifestly he had purposed to make her life a +sacrifice to his life; how he had premeditated her incarceration at +Perivale, while he should be living a bachelor's life in London! Will +Belton's ideas of married life were very different. Only come to me +at once now, immediately, and everything else shall be disposed just +as you please. This was his offer. What he proposed to give or rather +his willingness to be thus generous, was very sweet to her; but it +was not half so sweet as his impatience in demanding his reward. How +she doted on him because he considered his present state to be a +purgatory! How could she refuse anything she could give to one who +desired her gifts so strongly? + +As for her future residence, it would be a matter of indifference to +her where she should live, so long as she might live with him; but +for him she felt that but one spot in the world was fit for him. He +was Belton of Belton, and it would not be becoming that he should +live elsewhere. Of course she would go with him to Plaistow Hall as +often as he might wish it; but Belton Castle should be his permanent +resting-place. It would be her duty to be proud for him, and +therefore, for his sake, she would beg that their home might be in +Somersetshire. + +'Mary,' she said to her cousin soon afterwards, 'Will sends his love +to you.' + +'And what else does he say?' + +'I couldn't tell you everything. You shouldn't expect it.' + +'I don't expect it; but perhaps there may be something to be told.' + +'Nothing that I need tell specially. You, who know him so well, can +imagine what he would say.' + +'Dear Will! I am sure he would mean to write what was pleasant.' + +Then the matter would have dropped had Clara been so minded,--but she, +in truth, was anxious to be forced to talk about the letter. She +wished to be urged by Mary to do that which Will urged her to do or, +at least, to learn whether Mary thought that her brother's wish might +be gratified without impropriety. 'Don't you think we ought to live +here?' she said. + +'By all means,--if you both like it.' + +'He is so good,--so unselfish, that he will only ask me to do what I +like best.' + +'And which would you like best?' + +'I think he ought to live here because it is the old family property. +I confess that the name goes for something with me. He says that he +would build a new house.' + +'Does he think he could have it ready by the time you are married?' + +'Ah that is just the difficulty. Perhaps, after all, you had better +read his letter. I don't know why I should not show it to you. It +will only tell you what you know already that he is the most generous +fellow in all the world.' Then Mary read the letter. 'What am I to +say to him?' Clara asked. 'It seems so hard to refuse anything to one +who is so true, and good, and generous.' + +'It is hard.' + +'But you see my poor, dear father's death has been so recent.' + +'I hardly know,' said Mary, 'how the world feels about such things.' + +'I think we ought to wait at least twelve months,' said Clara, very +sadly. + +'Poor Will! He will be broken-hearted a dozen times before that. But +then, when his happiness does come, he will be all the happier.' +Clara, when she heard this, almost hated her cousin Mary not for her +own sake, but on Will's account. Will trusted so implicitly to his +sister, and yet she could not make a better fight for him than this! +It almost seemed that Mary was indifferent to her brother's +happiness. Had Will been her brother, Clara thought, and had any girl +asked her advice under similar circumstances, she was sure that she +would have answered in a different way. She would have told such girl +that her first duty was owing to the man who was to be her husband, +and would not have said a word to her about the feeling of the world. +After all, what did the feeling of the world signify to them, who +were going to be all the world to each other? + +On that afternoon she went up to Mrs Askerton's; and succeeded in +getting advice from her also, though she did not show Will's letter +to that lady. 'Of course, I know what he says,' said Mrs Askerton. +'Unless I have mistaken the man, he wants to be married tomorrow.' + +'He is not so bad as that,' said Clara. + +'Then the next day, or the day after. Of course he is impatient, and +does not see any earthly reason why his impatience should not be +gratified.' + +'He is impatient.' + +'And I suppose you hesitate because of your father's death? + +'It seems but the other day;--does it not?' said Clara. + +'Everything seems but the other day to me. It was but the other day +that I myself was married.' + +'And, of course, though I would do anything I could that he would ask +me to do--' + +'But would you do anything?' + +'Anything that was not wrong I would. Why should I not, when he is so +good to me?' + +'Then write to him, my dear, and tell him that it shall be as he +wishes it. Believe me, the days of Jacob are over. Men don't +understand waiting now, and it's always as well to catch your fish +when you can.' + +'You don't suppose I have any thought of that kind?' + +'I am sure you have not and I'm sure that he deserves no such thought +but the higher that are his deserts, the greater should be his +reward. If I were you, I should think of nothing but him, and I +should do exactly as he would have me.' Clara kissed her friend as +she parted from her, and again resolved that all that woman's sins +should be forgiven her. A woman who could give such excellent advice +deserved that every sin should be forgiven her. 'They'll be married +yet before the summer is over,' Mrs Askerton said to her husband that +afternoon. 'I believe a man may have anything he chooses to ask for, +if he'll only ask hard enough.' + +And they were married in the autumn, if not actually in the summer. +With what precise words Clara answered her lover's letter I will not +say; but her answer was of such a nature that he found himself +compelled to leave Plaistow, even before the wheat was garnered. +Great confidence was placed in Bunce on that occasion, and I have +reason to believe that it was not misplaced. They were married in +September yes, in September, although that letter of Will's was +written in August, and by the beginning of October they had returned +from their wedding trip to Plaistow. Clara insisted that she should +be taken to Plaistow, and was very anxious when there to learn all +the particulars of the farm. She put down in a little book how many +acres there were in each field, and what was the average produce of +the land. She made inquiry about four-crop rotation, and endeavoured, +with Bunce, to go into the great subject of stall-feeding. But Belton +did not give her as much encouragement as he might have done. 'We'll +come here for the shooting next year,' he said; 'that is, if there is +nothing to prevent us.' + +'I hope there'll be nothing to prevent us.' + +'There might be, perhaps; but we'll always come if there is not. For +the rest of it, I'll leave it to Bunce, and just run over once or +twice in the year. It would not be a nice place for you to live at +long.' + +'I like it of all things. I am quite interested about the farm.' + +'You'd get very sick of it if you were here in the winter. The truth +is that if you farm well, you must farm ugly. The picturesque nooks +and corners have all to be turned inside out, and the hedgerows must +be abolished, because we want the sunshine. Now, down at Belton, just +above the house, we won't mind farming well, but will stick to the +picturesque.' + +The new house was immediately commenced at Belton, and was made to +proceed with all imaginable alacrity. It was supposed at one time at +least Belton himself said that he so supposed that the building would +be ready for occupation at the end of the first summer; but this was +not found to be possible. 'We must put it off till May, after all,' +said Belton, as he was walking round the unfinished building with +Colonel Askerton. 'It's an awful bore, but there's no getting people +really to pull out in this country.' + +'I think they've pulled out pretty well. Of course you couldn't have +gone into a damp house for the winter.' + +'Other people can get a house built within twelve months. Look what +they do in London.' + +'And other people with their wives and children die in consequence of +colds and sore throats and other evils of that nature. I wouldn't go +into a new house, I know, till I was quite sure it was dry.' + +As Will at this time was hardly ten months married, he was not as yet +justified in thinking about his own wife and children; but he had +already found it expedient to make arrangements for the autumn, which +would prevent that annual visit to Plaistow which Clara had +contemplated, and which he had regarded with his characteristic +prudence as being subject to possible impediments. He was to be +absent himself for the first week in September, but was to return +immediately after that. This he did; and before the end of that month +he was justified in talking of his wife and family. 'I suppose it +wouldn't have done to have been moving now under all the +circumstances,' he said to his friend, Mrs Askerton, as he still +grumbled about the unfinished house. + +'I don't think it would have done at all, under all the +circumstances,' said Mrs Askerton. + +But in the following spring or early summer they did get into the new +house and a very nice house it was, as will, I think, be believed by +those who have known Mr William Belton. And when they were well +settled, at which time little Will Belton was some seven or eight +months old,--little Will, for whom great bonfires had been lit, as +though his birth in those parts was a matter not to be regarded +lightly; for was he not the first Belton of Belton who had been born +there for more than a century?--when that time came visitors appeared +at the new Belton Castle, visitors of importance, who were entitled +to, and who received, great consideration. These were no less than +Captain Aylmer, Member for Perivale, and his newly-married bride, +Lady Emily Aylmer, _nee_ Tagmaggert. They were then just married, and +had come down to Belton Castle immediately after their honeymoon +trip. How it had come to pass that such friendship had sprung up,--or +rather how it had been revived,--it would be bootless here to say. But +old affiances, such as that which had existed between the Aylmer and +the Amedroz families, do not allow themselves to die out easily, and +it is well for us all that they should be long-lived. So Captain +Aylmer brought his bride to Belton Park, and a small fatted calf was +killed, and the Askertons came to dinner on which occasion Captain +Aylmer behaved very well, though we may imagine that he must have had +some misgivings on the score of his young wife. The Askertons came to +dinner, and the old rector, and the squire from a neighbouring +parish, and everything was very handsome and very dull. Captain +Aylmer was much pleased with his visit, and declared to Lady Emily +that marriage had greatly improved Mr. William Belton. Now Will had +been very dull the whole evening, and very unlike the fiery, violent, +unreasonable man whom Captain Aylmer remembered to have met at the +station hotel of the Great Northern Railway. + +'I was as sure of it as possible,' Clara said to her husband that +night. + +'Sure of what, my dear?' + +'That she would have a red nose.' + +'Who has got a red nose?' + +'Don't be stupid, Will. Who should have it but Lady Emily?' + +'Upon my word I didn't observe it.' + +'You never observe anything, Will; do you? But don't you think she is +very plain?' + +'Upon my word I don't know. She isn't as handsome as some people.' + +'Don't be a fool, Will. How old do you suppose her to be?' 'How old? +Let me see. Thirty, perhaps.' + +'If she's not over forty, I'll consent to change noses with her.' + +'No we won't do that; not if I know it.' + +'I cannot conceive why any man should marry such a woman as that. Not +but what she's a very good woman, I dare say; only what can a man get +by it? To be sure there's the title, if that's worth anything.' But +Will Belton was never good for much conversation at this hour, and +was too fast asleep to make any rejoinder to the last remark. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BELTON ESTATE*** + + +******* This file should be named 4969.txt or 4969.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/4/9/6/4969 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +http://www.gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at http://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at http://www.gutenberg.org/about/contact + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit http://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. +To donate, please visit: +http://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + diff --git a/old/4969.zip.20100608 b/old/4969.zip.20100608 Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7d803ed --- /dev/null +++ b/old/4969.zip.20100608 diff --git a/old/beles10.txt b/old/beles10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..96e1f91 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/beles10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,17042 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Belton Estate, by Anthony Trollope +(#32 in our series by Anthony Trollope) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: The Belton Estate + +Author: Anthony Trollope + +Release Date: January, 2004 [EBook #4969] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on April 7, 2002] +[Most recently updated November 30, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, THE BELTON ESTATE *** + + + + +This eBook was produced by Andrew Turek. + + + +THE BELTON ESTATE + +by Anthony Trollope + +CHAPTER I + +Mrs Amedroz, the wife of Bernard Amedroz, Esq, of Belton Castle, and +mother of Charles and Clara Amedroz, died when those children were only +eight and six years old, thereby subjecting them to the greatest +misfortune which children born in that sphere of life can be made to +suffer. And, in the case of this boy and girl, the misfortune was +aggravated greatly by the peculiarities of the father's character. Mr +Amedroz was not a bad man as men are held to be bad in the world's +esteem. He was not vicious was not a gambler or a drunkard was not +self-indulgent to a degree that brought upon him any reproach; nor was +he regardless of his children. But he was an idle, thriftless man, who, +at the age of sixty-seven, when the reader will first make his +acquaintance, had as yet done no good in the world whatever. Indeed he +had done terrible evil; for his son Charles was now dead had perished +by his own hand and the state of things which had brought about this +woeful event had been chiefly due to the father's neglect. + +Belton Castle is a pretty country seat, standing in a small but +beautifully wooded park, close under the Quantock hills in +Somersetshire; and the little town of Belton clusters round the park +gates. Few Englishmen know the scenery of England well, and the +prettinesses of Somersetshire are among those which are the least +known. But the Quantock hills are very lovely, with their rich valleys +lying close among them, and their outlying moorlands running off +towards Dulverton and the borders of Devonshire moorlands which are not +flat, like Salisbury Plain, but are broken into ravines and deep +watercourses and rugged dells hither and thither; where old oaks are +standing, in which life seems to have dwindled down to the last spark; +but the last spark is still there, and the old oaks give forth their +scanty leaves from year to year. + +In among the hills, somewhat off the high road from Minehead to +Taunton, and about five miles from the sea, stands the little town, or +village, of Belton, and the modern house of Mr Amedroz, which is called +Belton Castle. The village for it is in truth no more, though it still +maintains a charter for a market, and there still exists on Tuesdays +some pretence of an open sale of grain and butcher's meat in the square +before the church-gate contains about two thousand persons. That and +the whole parish of Belton did once and that not long ago belong to the +Amedroz family. They had inherited it from the Beltons of old, an +Amedroz having married the heiress of the family. And as the parish is +large, stretching away to Exmoor on one side and almost to the sea on +the other, containing the hamlet of Redicote, lying on the Taunton high +road Redicote, where the post-office is placed, a town almost in +itself, and one which is now much more prosperous than Belton as the +property when it came to the first Amedroz had limits such as these, +the family had been considerable in the county. But these limits had +been straitened in the days of the grandfather and the father of +Bernard Amedroz; and he, when he married a Miss Winterfield of Taunton, +was thought to have done very well, in that mortgages were paid off the +property with his wife's money to such an extent as to leave him in +clear possession of an estate that gave him two thousand a year. As Mr +Amedroz had no grand neighbours near him, as the place is remote and +the living therefore cheap, and as with this income there was no +question of annual visits to London, Mr and Mrs Amedroz might have done +very well with such of the good things of the world as had fallen to +their lot. And had the wife lived, such would probably have been the +case; for the Winterfields were known to be prudent people. But Mrs +Amedroz had died young, and things with Bernard Amedroz had gone badly. + +And yet the evil had not been so much with him as with that terrible +boy of his. The father had been nearly forty when he married. He had +then never done any good; but as neither had he done much harm, the +friends of the family had argued well of his future career. After him, +unless he should leave a son behind him, there would be no Amedroz left +among the Quantock hills; and by some arrangement in respect to that +Winterfield money which came to him on his marriage the Winterfields +having a long-dated connexion with the Beltons of old the Amedroz +property was, at Bernard's marriage, entailed back upon a distant +Belton cousin, one Will Belton, whom no one had seen for many years, +but who was by blood nearer the squire in default of children of his +own than any other of his relatives. And now Will Belton was the heir +to Belton Castle; for Charles Amedroz, at the age of twenty-seven, had +found the miseries of the world to be too many for him, and had put an +end to them and to himself. + +Charles had been a clever fellow a very clever fellow in the eyes of +his father. Bernard Amedroz knew that he himself was not a clever +fellow, and admired his son accordingly; and when Charles had been +expelled from Harrow for some boyish freak in his vengeance against a +neighbouring farmer, who had reported to the school authorities the +doings of a few beagles upon his land, Charles had cut off the heads of +all the trees in a young fir plantation his father was proud of the +exploit. When he was rusticated a second time from Trinity, and when +the father received an intimation that his son's name had better be +taken from the College books, the squire was not so well pleased; but +even then he found some delight in the stories which reached him of his +son's vagaries; and when the young man commenced Bohemian life in +London, his father did nothing to restrain him. Then there came the old +story debts, endless debts; and lies, endless lies. During the two +years before his death, his father paid for him, or undertook to pay, +nearly ten thousand pounds, sacrificing the life assurances which were +to have made provision for his daughter; sacrificing, to a great +extent, his own life income sacrificing everything, so that the +property might not be utterly ruined at his death. That Charles Amedroz +should be a brighter, greater man than any other Amedroz, had still +been the father's pride. At the last visit which Charles had paid to +Belton his father had called upon him to pledge himself solemnly that +his sister should not be made to suffer by what had been done for him. +Within a month of that time he had blown his brains out in his London +lodgings, thus making over the entire property to Will Belton at his +father's death. At that last pretended settlement with his father and +his father's lawyer, he had kept back the mention of debts as heavy +nearly as those to which he had owned; and there were debts of honour, +too, of which he had not spoken, trusting to the next event at +Newmarket to set him right. The next event at Newmarket had set him +more wrong than ever, and so there had come an end to everything with +Charles Amedroz. + +This had happened in the spring, and the afflicted father afflicted +with the double sorrow of his son's terrible death and his daughter's +ruin had declared that he would turn his face to the wall and die. But +the old squire's health, though far from strong, was stronger than he +had deemed it, and his feelings, sharp enough, were less sharp than he +thought them; and when a month had passed by, he had discovered that it +would be better that he should live, in order that his daughter might +still have bread to eat and a house of her own over her head. Though he +was now an impoverished man, there was still left to him the means of +keeping up the old home; and he told himself that it must, if possible, +be so kept that a few pounds annually might be put by for Clara. The +old carriage-horses were sold, and the park was let to a farmer, up to +the hall door of the castle. So much the squire could do; but as to the +putting by of the few pounds, any dependence on such exertion as that +on his part would, we may say, be very precarious. + +Belton Castle was not in truth a castle. Immediately before the front +door, so near to the house as merely to allow of a broad road running +between it and the entrance porch, there stood an old tower, which gave +its name to the residence an old square tower, up which the Amedroz +boys for three generations had been able to climb by means of the ivy +and broken stones in one of the inner corners and this tower was a +remnant of a real castle that had once protected the village of Belton. +The house itself was an ugly residence, three stories high, built in +the time of George II, with low rooms and long passages, and an immense +number of doors. It was a large unattractive house unattractive that +is, as regarded its own attributes but made interesting by the beauty +of the small park in which it stood. Belton Park did not, perhaps, +contain much above a hundred acres, but the land was so broken into +knolls and valleys, in so many places was the rock seen to be cropping +up through the verdure, there were in it so many stunted old oaks, so +many points of vantage for the lover of scenery, that no one would +believe it to be other than a considerable domain. The farmer who took +it, and who would not under any circumstances undertake to pay more +than seventeen shillings an acre for it, could not be made to think +that it was in any way considerable. But Belton Park, since first it +was made a park, had never before been regarded in this fashion. Farmer +Stovey, of the Grange, was the first man of that class who had ever +assumed the right to pasture his sheep in Belton chase as the people +around were still accustomed to call the woodlands of the estate. + +It was full summer at Belton, and four months had now passed since the +dreadful tidings had reached the castle. It was full summer, and the +people of the village were again going about their ordinary business; +and the shop-girls with their lovers from Redicote were again to be +seen walking among the oaks in the park on a Sunday evening; and the +world in that district of Somersetshire was getting itself back into +its grooves. The fate of the young heir had disturbed the grooves +greatly, and had taught many in those parts to feel that the world was +coming to an end. They had not loved young Amedroz, for he had been +haughty when among them, and there had been wrongs committed by the +dissolute young squire, and grief had come from his misdoings upon more +than one household; but to think that he should have destroyed himself +with his own hand! And then, to think that Miss Clara would become a +beggar when the old squire should die! All the neighbours around +understood the whole history of the entail, and knew that the property +was to go to Will Belton. Now Will Belton was not a gentleman! So, at +least, said the Belton folk, who had heard that the heir had been +brought up as a farmer somewhere in Norfolk. Will Belton had once been +at the Castle as a boy, now some fifteen years ago, and then there had +sprung up a great quarrel between him and his distant cousin Charles +and Will, who was rough and large of stature, had thrashed the smaller +boy severely; and the thing had grown to have dimensions larger than +those which generally attend the quarrels of boys; and Will had said +something which had shown how well he understood his position in +reference to the estate and Charles had hated him. So Will had gone, +and had been no more seen among the oaks whose name he bore. And the +people, in spite of his name, regarded him as an interloper. To them, +with their short memories and scanty knowledge of the past, Amedroz was +more honourable than Belton, and they looked upon the coming man as an +intruder. Why should not Miss Clara have the property? Miss Clara had +never done harm to any one! + +Things got back into their old grooves, and at the end of the third +month the squire was once more seen in the old family pew at church. He +was a large man, who had been very handsome, and who now, in his yellow +leaf, was not without a certain beauty of manliness. He wore his hair +and his beard long; before his son's death they were grey, but now they +were very white. And though he stooped, there was still a dignity in +his slow step a dignity that came to him from nature rather than from +any effort. He was a man who, in fact, did little or nothing in the +world whose life had been very useless; but he had been gifted with +such a presence that he looked as though he were one of God's nobler +creatures. Though always dignified he was ever affable, and the poor +liked him better than they might have done had he passed his time in +searching out their wants and supplying them. They were proud of their +squire, though he had done nothing for them. It was something to them +to have a man who could so carry himself sitting in the family pew in +their parish church. They knew that he was poor, but they all declared +that he was never mean. He was a real gentleman was this last Amedroz +of the family; therefore they curtsied low, and bowed on his +reappearance among them, and made all those signs of reverential awe +which are common to the poor when they feel reverence for the presence +of a superior. + +Clara was there with him, but she had shown herself in the pew for four +or five weeks before this. She had not been at home when the fearful +news had reached Belton, being at that time with a certain lady who +lived on the farther side of the county, at Perivale a certain Mrs +Winterfield, born a Folliot, a widow, who stood to Miss Amedroz in the +place of an aunt. Mrs Winterfield was, in truth, the sister of a +gentleman who had married Clara's aunt there having been marriages and +intermarriages between the Winterfields and the Folliots and the +Belton-Amedroz families. With this lady in Perivale, which I maintain +to be the dullest little town in England, Miss Amedroz was staying when +the news reached her father, and when it was brought direct from London +to herself. Instantly she had hurried home, taking the journey with all +imaginable speed though her heart was all but broken within her bosom. +She had found her father stricken to the ground, and it was the more +necessary, therefore, that she should exert herself. It would not do +that she also should yield to that longing for death which terrible +calamities often produce for a season. + +Clara Amedroz, when she first heard. the news of her brother's fate, +had felt that she was for ever crushed to the ground. She had known too +well what had been the nature of her brother's life, but she had not +expected or feared any such termination to his career as this which had +now come upon him to the terrible affliction of all belonging to him. +She felt at first, as did also her father, that she and he were +annihilated as regards this world, not only by an enduring grief, but +also by a disgrace which would never allow her again to hold up her +head. And for many a long year much of this feeling clung to her clung +to her much more strongly than to her father. But strength was hers to +perceive, even before she had reached her home, that it was her duty to +repress both the feeling of shame and the sorrow, as far as they were +capable of repression. Her brother had been weak, and in his weakness +had sought a coward's escape from the ills of the world around him. She +must not also be a coward! Bad as life might be to her henceforth, she +must endure it with such fortitude as she could muster. So resolving +she returned to her father, and was able to listen to his railings with +a fortitude that was essentially serviceable both to him and to herself. + +'Both of you! Both of you!' the unhappy father had said in his woe. +'The wretched boy has destroyed you as much as himself!' 'No, sir,' she +had answered, with a forbearance in her misery, which, terrible as was +the effort, she forced herself to accomplish for his sake. 'It is not +so. No thought of that need add to your grief. My poor brother has not +hurt me not in the way you mean.' 'He has ruined us all,' said the +father; 'root and branch, man and woman, old and young, house and land. +He has brought the family to an end ah me, to such an end!' After that +the name of him who had taken himself from among them was not mentioned +between the father and daughter, and Clara settled herself to the +duties of her new life, striving to live as though there was no great +sorrow around her as though no cloud-storm had burst over her head. + +The family lawyer, who lived at Taunton, had communicated the fact of +Charles's death to Mr Belton, and Belton had acknowledged the letter +with the ordinary expressions of regret. The lawyer had alluded to the +entail, saying that it was improbable that Mr Amedroz would have +another son. To this Belton had replied that for his cousin Clara's +sake he hoped that the squire's life might be long spared. The lawyer +smiled as he read the wish, thinking to himself that luckily no wish on +the part of Will Belton could influence his old client either for good +or evil. What man, let alone what lawyer, will ever believe in the +sincerity of such a wish as that expressed by the heir to a property? +And yet where is the man who will not declare to himself that such, +under such circumstances, would be his own wish? + +Clara Amedroz at this time was not a very young lady. She had already +passed her twenty-fifth birthday, and in manners, appearance, and +habits was, at any rate, as old as her age. She made no pretence to +youth, speaking of herself always as one whom circumstances required to +take upon herself age in advance of her years. She did not dress young, +or live much with young people, or correspond with other girls by means +of crossed letters; nor expect that, for her, young pleasures should be +provided. Life had always been serious with her; but now, we may say, +since the terrible tragedy lit the family, it must be solemn as well as +serious. The memory of her brother must always be upon her; and the +memory also of the fact that her father was now an impoverished man, on +whose behalf it was her duty to care that every shilling spent in the +house did its full twelve pennies' worth of work. There was a mixture +in this of deep tragedy and of little cares, which seemed to destroy +for her the poetry as well as the pleasure of life. The poetry and +tragedy might have gone hand in hand together; and so might the cares +and pleasures of life have done, had there been no black sorrow of +which she must be ever mindful. But it was her lot to have to +scrutinize the butcher's bill as she was thinking of her brother's +fate; and to work daily among small household things while the spectre +of her brother's corpse was ever before her eyes. + +A word must be said to explain how it had come to pass that the life +led by Miss Amedroz had been more than commonly serious before that +tragedy had befallen the family. The name of the lady who stood to +Clara in the place of an aunt has been already mentioned. When a girl +has a mother, her aunt may be little or nothing to her. But when the +mother is gone, if there be an aunt unimpeded with other family duties, +then the family duties of that aunt begin and are assumed sometimes +with great vigour. Such had been the case with Mrs Winterfield. No +woman ever lived, perhaps, with more conscientious ideas of her duty as +a woman than Mrs Winterfield of Prospect Place, Perivale. And this, as +I say it, is intended to convey no scoff against that excellent lady. +She was an excellent lady unselfish, given to self-restraint, generous, +pious, looking to find in her religion a safe path through life a path +as safe as the facts of Adam's fall would allow her feet to find. She +was a woman fearing much for others, but fearing also much for herself, +striving to maintain her house in godliness, hating sin, and struggling +with the weakness of her humanity so that she might not allow herself +to hate the sinners. But her hatred for the sin she found herself bound +at all times to pronounce to show it by some act at all seasons. To +fight the devil was her work was the appointed work of every living +soul, if only living souls could be made to acknowledge the necessity +of the task. Now an aunt of that kind, when she assumes her duties +towards a motherless niece, is apt to make life serious. + +But, it will be said, Clara Amedroz could have rebelled; and Clara's +father was hardly made of such stuff that obedience to the aunt would +be enforced on her by parental authority. Doubtless Clara could have +rebelled against her aunt. Indeed, I do not know that she had hitherto +been very obedient. But there were family facts about these Winterfield +connexions which would have made it difficult for her to ignore her +so-called aunt, even had she wished to do so. Mrs Winterfield had +twelve hundred a year at her own disposal, and she was the only person +related to the Amedroz family from whom Mr Amedroz had a right to have +expectations on his daughter's behalf. Clara had, in a measure, been +claimed by the lady, and the father had made good the lady's claim, and +Clara had acknowledged that a portion of her life was due to the +demands of Perivale. These demands had undoubtedly made her life +serious. + +Life at Perivale was a very serious thing. As regards amusement, +ordinarily so called, the need of any such institution was not +acknowledged at Prospect House. Food, drink, and raiment were +acknowledged to be necessary to humanity, and, in accordance with the +rules of that house, they were supplied in plenty, and good of their +kind. Such ladies as Mrs Winterfield generally keep good tables, +thinking no doubt that the eatables should do honour to the grace that +is said for them. And Mrs Winterfield herself always wore a thick black +silk dress not rusty or dowdy with age but with some gloss of the silk +on it; giving away, with secret, underhand, undiscovered charity, her +old dresses to another lady of her own sort, on whom fortune had not +bestowed twelve hundred a year. And Mrs Winterfield kept a low, +four-wheeled, one-horsed phaeton, in which she made her pilgrimages +among the poor of Perivale, driven by the most solemn of stable-boys, +dressed up in a great white coat, the most priggish of hats, and white +cotton gloves. At the rate of five miles an hour was she driven about, +and this driving was to her the amusement of life. But such an +occupation to Clara Amedroz assisted to make life serious. + +In person Mrs Winterfield was tall and thin, wearing on her brow thin +braids of false hair. She had suffered much from acute ill health, and +her jaws were sunken, and her eyes were hollow, and there was a look of +woe about her which seemed ever to be telling of her own sorrows in +this world and of the sorrows of others in the world to come. +Ill-nature was written on her face, but in this her face was a false +face. She had the manners of a cross, peevish woman; but her manners +also were false, and gave no proper idea of her character. But still, +such as she was, she made life very serious to those who were called +upon to dwell with her. + +I need, I hope, hardly say that a young lady such as Miss Amedroz, even +though she had reached the age of twenty-five for at the time to which +I am now alluding she had nearly done so and was not young of her age, +had formed for herself no plan of life in which her aunt's money +figured as a motive power. She had gone to Perivale when she was very +young, because she had been told to do so, and had continued to go, +partly from obedience, partly from habit, and partly from affection. An +aunt's. dominion, when once well established in early years, cannot +easily be thrown altogether aside even though a young lady have a will +of her own. Now Clara Amedroz had a strong will of her own, and did not +at all at any rate in these latter days belong to that school of +divinity in which her aunt shone almost as a professor. And this +circumstance, also, added to the seriousness of her life. But in regard +to her aunt's money she had entertained no established hopes; and when +her aunt opened her mind to her, on that subject, a few days before the +arrival of the fatal news at Perivale, Clara, though she was somewhat +surprised, was by no means disappointed. Now there was a certain +Captain Aylmer in the question, of whom in this opening chapter it will +be necessary to say a few words. + +Captain Frederic Folliott Aylmer was, in truth, the nephew of Mrs +Winterfield, whereas Clara Amedroz was not, in truth, her niece. And +Captain Aylmer was also Member of Parliament for the little borough of +Perivale, returned altogether on the Low Church interest for a devotion +to which, and for that alone, Perivale was noted among boroughs. These +facts together added not a little to Mrs Winterfield's influence and +professorial power in the place, and gave a dignity to the one-horse +chaise which it might not otherwise have possessed. But Captain Aylmer +was only the second son of his father, Sir Anthony Aylmer, who had +married a Miss Folliott, sister of our Mrs Winterfield. On Frederic +Aylmer his mother's estate was settled. That and Mrs Winterfield's +property lay in the neighbourhood of Perivale; and now, on the occasion +to which I am alluding, Mrs Winterfield thought it necessary to tell +Clara that the property must all go together. She had thought about it, +and had doubted about it, and had prayed about it, and now she found +that such a disposition of it was her duty. + +'I am quite sure you're right, aunt,' Clara had said. She knew very +well what had come of that provision which her father had attempted to +make for her, and knew also how great were her father's expectations in +regard to Mrs Winterfield's money. + +'I hope I am; but I have thought it right to tell you. I shall feel +myself bound to tell Frederic. I have had many doubts, but I think I am +right.' + +'I am sure you are, aunt. What would he think of me if, at some future +time, he should have to find that I had been in his way?' + +'The future time will not be long now, my dear.' + +'I hope it may; but long or short, it is better so.' + +'I think it is, my dear; I think it is. I think it is my duty.' + +It must be understood that Captain Aylmer was member for Perivale on +the Low Church interest, and that, therefore, when at Perivale he was +decidedly a Low Churchman. I am not aware that the peculiarity stuck to +him very closely at Aylmer Castle, in Yorkshire, or among his friends +in London; but there was no hypocrisy in this, as the world goes. Women +in such matters are absolutely false if they be not sincere; but men, +with political views, and with much of their future prospects in +jeopardy also, are allowed to dress themselves differently for +different scenes. Whatever be the peculiar interest on which a man goes +into Parliament, of course he has to live up to that in his own +borough. Whether malt, the franchise, or teetotalism be his rallying +point, of course he is full of it when among his constituents. But it +is not desirable that he should be full of it also at his club. Had +Captain Aylmer become Prime Minister, he would no doubt have made Low +Church bishops. It was the side to which he had taken himself in that +matter not without good reasons. And he could say a sharp word or two +in season about vestments; he was strong against candles, and fought +for his side fairly well. No one had good right to complain of Captain +Aylmer as being insincere; but had his aunt known the whole history of +her nephew's life, I doubt whether she would have made him her heir +thinking that in doing so she was doing the best for the good cause. + +The whole history of her niece's life she did know, and she knew that +Clara was not with her, heart and soul. Had Clara left the old woman in +doubt on this subject, she would have been a hypocrite. Captain Aylmer +did not often spend a Sunday at Perivale, but when he did, he went to +church three times, and submitted himself to the yoke. He was thinking +of the borough votes quite as much as of his aunt's money, and was +carrying on his business after the fashion of men But Clara found +herself compelled to maintain some sort of a fight, though she also +went to church three times on Sunday. And there was another reason why +Mrs Winterfield thought it right to mention Captain Aylmer's name to +her niece on this occasion. + +'I had hoped', she said, 'that it might make no difference in what way +my money was left.' + +Clara well understood what this meant, as will, probably, the reader +also. 'I can't say but what it will make a difference,' she answered, +smiling; 'but I shall always think that you have done right. Why should +I stand in Captain Aylmer's way?' + +'I had hoped your ways might have been the same,' said the old lady, +fretfully. + +'But they cannot be the same.' + +'No; you do not see things as he sees them. Things that are serious to +him are, I fear, only light to you. Dear Clara, would I could see you +more in earnest as to the only matter that is worth our earnestness.' +Miss Amedroz said nothing as to the Captain's earnestness, though, +perhaps, her ideas as to his ideas about religion were more correct +than those held by Mrs Winterfield. But it would not have suited her to +raise any argument on that subject. 'I pray for you, Clara,' continued +the old lady, 'and will do so as long as the power of prayer is left to +me. I hope I hope you do not cease to pray for yourself?' + +'I endeavour, aunt.' + +'It is an endeavour which, if really made, never fails.' Clara said +nothing more, and her aunt also remained silent. Soon afterwards, the +four-wheeled carriage, with the demure stable-boy, came to the door, +and Clara was driven up and down through the streets of Perivale in a +manner which was an injury to her. She knew that she was suffering an +injustice, but it was one of which she could not make complaint. She +submitted to her aunt, enduring the penances that were required of her; +and, therefore, her aunt had opportunity enough to see her +shortcomings. Mrs Winterfield did see them, and judged her accordingly. +Captain Aylmer, being a man and a Member of Parliament, was called upon +to bear no such penances, and, therefore, his shortcomings were not +suspected. + +But, after all, what title had she ever possessed to entertain +expectations from Mrs Winterfield? When she thought of it all in her +room that night, she told herself that it was strange that her aunt +should have spoken to her in such a way on such a subject. But, then, +so much had been said to her on the matter by her father, so much, no +doubt, had reached her aunt's ears also, the hope that her position +with reference to the rich widow at Perivale might be beneficial to her +had been so often discussed at Belton as a make-weight against the +extravagances of the heir, there had already been so much of this +mistake, that she taught herself to perceive that the communication was +needed. 'In her honesty 'she has not chosen to leave me with false +hopes,' said Clara to herself. And at that moment she loved her aunt +for her honesty. + +Then, on the day but one following this conversation as to the destiny +of her aunt's property, came the terrible tidings of her brother's +death. Captain Aylmer, who had been in London at the time, hurried down +to Perivale, and had been the first to tell Miss Amedroz what had +happened. The words spoken between them had not been many, but Clara +knew that Captain Aylmer had been kind to her; and when he had offered +to accompany her to Belton, she had thanked him with a degree of +gratitude which had almost seemed to imply more of regard between them +than Clara would have acknowledged to exist. But in moments such as +those, soft words may be spoken and hands may be pressed without any of +that meaning which soft words and the grasping of hands generally carry +with them. As far as Taunton Captain Aylmer did go with Miss Amedroz, +and there they parted, he on his journey up to town, and she for her +father's desolate house at Belton. + + +CHAPTER II + +THE HEIR PROPOSES TO VISIT HIS COUSIN + +It was full summer at Belton, and the sweet scene of the new hay +filled the porch of the old house with fragrance, as Clara sat there +alone with her work. Immediately before the house door, between that +and the old tower, there stood one of Farmer Stovey's hay-carts, now +empty, with an old horse between the shafts looking as though he were +asleep in the sun. Immediately beyond the tower the men were loading +another cart, and the women and children were chattering as they raked +the scattered remnants up to the rows. tinder the shadow of the old +tower, but in sight of Clara as she sat in the porch, there lay the +small beer-barrels of the hay-makers, and three or four rakes were +standing erect against the old grey wall. It was now eleven o'clock, +and Clara was waiting for her father, who was not yet out of his room. +She had taken his breakfast to him in bed, as was her custom; for he +had fallen into idle ways, and the luxury of his bed was, of all his +remaining luxuries, the one that he liked the best. After a while he +came down to her, having an open letter in his hand. Clara saw that he +intended either to show it to her or to speak of it, and asked him +therefore, with some tone of interest in her voice, from whom it had +come. But Mr Amedroz was fretful at the moment, and instead of +answering her began to complain of his tenant's ill-usage of him. + +'What has he got his cart there for? I haven't let him the road up to +the hall door. I suppose he will bring his things into the parlour +next.' + +'I rather like it, papa.' + +'Do you? I can only say that you're lucky in your tastes. I don't like +it, I can tell you.' + +'Mr Stovey is out there. Shall I ask him to have the things moved +farther off?' + +'No, my dear no. I must bear it, as I do all the rest of it. What does +it matter? There'll be an end of it soon. He pays his rent, and I +suppose he is right to do as he pleases. But I can't say that I like +it.' + +'Am I to see the letter, papa?' she asked, wishing to turn his mind +from the subject of the hay-cart. + +'Well, yes. I brought it for you to see; though perhaps I should be +doing better if I burned it, and said nothing more about it. It is a +most impudent production; and heartless very heartless.' + +Clara was accustomed to such complaints as these from her father. +Everything that everybody did around him he would call heartless. The +man pitied himself so much in his own misery, that he expected to live +in an atmosphere of pity from others; and though the pity doubtless was +there, he misdoubted it. He thought that Farmer Stovey was cruel in +that he had left the hay-cart near the house, to wound his eyes by +reminding him that he was no longer master of the ground before his own +hall door. He thought that the women and children were cruel to chatter +so near his ears. He almost accused his daughter of cruelty, because +she had told him that she liked the contiguity of the hay-making. Under +such circumstances as those which enveloped him and her, was it not +heartless in her to like anything? It seemed to him that the whole +world of Belton should be drowned in woe because of his misery. + +'Where is it from, papa?' she asked. + +'There, you may read it. Perhaps it is better that you should know that +it has been written.' Then she read the letter, which was as follows + +'Plaistow Hall + +July, 186' + +Though she had never before seen the handwriting, she knew at once from +whence came the letter, for she had often heard of Plaistow Hall. It +was the name of the farm at which her distant cousin, Will Belton, +lived, and her father had more than once been at the trouble of +explaining to her, that though the place was called a hall, the house +was no more than a farmhouse. He had never seen Plaistow Hall, and had +never been in Norfolk; but so much he could take upon himself to say, +'They call all the farms halls down there.' It was not wonderful that +he should dislike his heir; and perhaps not unnatural that he should +show his dislike after this fashion. Clara, when she read the address, +looked up into her father's face. 'You know who it is now,' he said. +And then she read the letter. + +'Plaistow Hall + +July, 186 + +I have not written to you before since your bereavement, thinking it +better to wait awhile; but I hope you have not taken me to be unkind in +this, or have supposed me to be unmindful of your sorrow. Now I take up +my pen, hoping that I may make you understand how greatly I was +distressed by what has occurred. I believe I am now the nearest male +relative that you have, and as such I am very anxious to be of service +to you if it may be possible. Considering the closeness of our +connexion, and my position in reference to the property, it seems bad +that we should never meet. I can assure you that you would find me very +friendly if we could manage to come together. + +I should think nothing of running across to Belton, if you would +receive me at your house. I could come very well before harvest, if +that would suit you, and would stay with you for a week. Pray give my +kindest regards to my cousin Clara, whom I can only just remember as a +very little girl. She was with her aunt at Perivale when I was at +Belton as a boy. She shall find a friend in me if she wants a friend. + +Your affectionate cousin, + +W. BELTON.' + +Clara read the letter very slowly, so that she might make herself sure +of its tone and bearing before she was called upon by her father to +express her feeling respecting it. She knew that she would be expected +to abuse it violently, and to accuse the writer of vulgarity, +insolence, and cruelty, but she had already learned that she must not +allow herself to accede to all her father's fantasies. For his sake, +and for his protection, it was necessary that she should differ from +him, and even contradict him. Were she not to do so, he would fall into +a state of wailing and complaining that would exaggerate itself almost +to idiotcy. And it was imperative that she herself should exercise her +own opinion on many points, almost without reference to him. She alone +knew how utterly destitute she would be when he should die. He, in the +first days of his agony, had sobbed forth his remorse as to her ruin; +but, even when doing so, he had comforted himself with the remembrance +of Miss Winterfield's money and Mrs Winterfield's affection for his +daughter. And the aunt, when she had declared her purpose to Clara, had +told herself that the provision made for Clara by her father was +sufficient. To neither of them had Clara told her own position. She +could not inform her aunt that her father had given up to the poor +reprobate who had destroyed himself all that had been intended for her. +Had she done so she would have been asking her aunt for charity. Nor +would she bring herself to add to her father's misery, by destroying +the hopes which still supported him. She never spoke of her own +position in regard to money, but she knew that it had become her duty +to live a wary, watchful life, taking much upon herself in their +impoverished household, and holding her own opinion against her +father's when her doing so became expedient. So she finished the letter +in silence, and did not speak at the moment when the movement of her +eyes declared that she had completed the task. + +'Well?' said he. + +'I do not think my cousin means badly.' + +'You don't! I do, then. I think he means very badly. What business has +he to write to me, talking of his position?' + +'I can't see anything amiss in his doing so, papa. I think he wishes to +be friendly. The property will be his some day, and I don't see why +that should not be mentioned, when there is occasion.' + +'Upon my word, Clara, you surprise me. But women never understood +delicacy in regard to money. They have so little to do with it, and +think so little about it, that they have no occasion for such delicacy.' + +Clara could not help the thought that to her mind the subject was +present with sufficient frequency to make delicacy very desirable, if +only it were practicable. But of this she said nothing. 'And what +answer will you send to him, papa?' she asked. + +'None at all. Why should I trouble myself to write to him?' + +'I will take the trouble off your hands.' + +'And what will you say to him?' + +'I will ask him to come here, as he proposes.' + +'Clara!' + +'Why not, papa? He is the heir to the property, and why should he not +be permitted to see it? There are many things in which his co-operation +with you might be a comfort to you. I can't tell you whether the +tenants and people are treating you well, but he can do so; and, +moreover, I think he means to be kind. I do not see why we should +quarrel with our cousin because he is the heir to your property. It is +not through any doing of his own that he is so.' + +This reasoning had no effect upon Mr Amedroz, but his daughter's +resolution carried the point against him in spite of his want of +reason. No letter was written that day, or on the next; but on the day +following a formal note was sent off by Clara, in which Mr Belton was +told that Mr Amedroz would be happy to receive him at Belton Castle. +The letter was written by the daughter, but the father was responsible +for the formality. He sat over her while she wrote it, and nearly drove +her distracted by discussing every word and phrase. At last, Clara was +so annoyed with her own production, that she was almost tempted to +write another letter unknown to her father; but the formal note went. + +'My Dear Sir + +'I am desired by my father to say that he will be happy to receive you +at Belton Castle, at the time fixed by yourself. + +Yours truly, + +CLARA AMEDROZ.' + +There was no more than that, but that had the desired effect; and by +return of post there came a rejoinder saying that Will Belton would be +at the Castle on the fifteenth of August. 'They can do without me for +about ten days,' he said in his postscript, writing in a familiar tone, +which did not seem to have been at all checked by the coldness of his +cousin's note 'as our harvest will be late; but I must be back for a +week's work before the partridges.' + +'Heartless! quite heartless!' Mr Amedroz said as he read this. +'Partridges! to talk of partridges at such a time as this!' + +Clara, however, would not acknowledge that she agreed with her father; +but she could not altogether restrain a feeling on her own part that +her cousin's good humour towards her and Mr Amedroz should have been +repressed by the tone of her letter to him. The man was to come, +however, and she would not judge of him until he was there. + +In one house in the neighbourhood, and in only one, had Miss Amedroz a +friend with whom she was intimate; and as regarded even this single +friend, the intimacy was the effect rather of circumstances than of +real affection. She liked Mrs Askerton, and saw her almost daily; but +she could hardly tell herself that she loved her neighbour. + +In the little town of Belton, close to the church, there stood a +pretty, small house, called Belton Cottage. It was so near the church +that strangers always supposed it to be the parsonage; but the rectory +stood away out in. the country, half a mile from the town, on the road +to Redicote, and was a large house, three stories high, with grounds of +its own, and very ugly. Here lived the old bachelor rector, seventy +years of age, given much to long absences when he could achieve them, +and never on good terms with his bishop. His two curates lived at +Redicote, where there was a second church. Belton Cottage, which was +occupied by Colonel Askerton and Mrs Askerton, was on the Amedroz +property, and had been hired some two years since by the Colonel, who +was then a stranger in the country and altogether unknown to the Belton +people. But he had come there for shooting, and therefore his coming +had been understood. Even as long ago as two years since, there had +been neither use nor propriety in keeping the shooting for the squire's +son, and it had been let with the cottage to Colonel Askerton. So +Colonel Askerton had come there with his wife, and no one in the +neighbourhood had known anything about them. Mr Amedroz, with his +daughter, had called upon them, and gradually there had grown up an +intimacy between Clara and Mrs Askerton. There was an opening from the +garden of Belton Cottage into the park, so that familiar intercourse +was easy, and Mrs Askerton was a woman who knew well how to make +herself pleasant to such another woman as Miss Amedroz. + +The reader may as well know at ones that rumours prejudicial to the +Askertons reached Belton before they had been established there for six +months. At Taunton, which was twenty miles distant, these rumours were +very rife, and there were people there who knew with accuracy though +probably without a grain of truth in their accuracy every detail in the +history of Mrs Askerton's life. And something, too, reached Clara's +ears something from old Mr Wright, the rector, who loved scandal, and +was very ill-natured. 'A very nice woman,' the rector had said; 'but +she does not seem to have any belongings in particular.' 'She has got a +husband,' Clara had replied with some little indignation, for she had +never loved Mr Wright. 'Yes; I suppose she has got a husband.' Then +Clara had, in her own judgment, accused the rector of lying, +evil-speaking, and slandering, and had increased the measure of her +cordiality to Mrs Askerton. But something more she had heard on the +same subject at Perivale. 'Before you throw yourself into close +intimacy with the lady, I think you should know something about her,' +Mrs Winterfield had said to her. ' I do know something about her; I +know that she has the manners and education of a lady, and that she is +living affectionately with her husband, who is devoted to her. What +more ought I to know?' 'If you really do know all that, you know a +great deal,' Mrs Winterfield had replied. + +'Do you know anything against her, aunt?' Clara asked, after a pause. + +There was another pause before Mrs Winterfield answered. 'No, my dear; +I cannot say that I do. But I think that young ladies, before they make +intimate friendships, should be very sure of their friends.' + +'You have already acknowledged that I know a great deal about her,' +Clara replied. And then the conversation was at an end. Clara had not +been quite ingenuous, as she acknowledged to herself. She was aware +that her aunt would not permit herself to repeat rumours as to the +truth of which she had no absolute knowledge. She understood that the +weakness of her aunt's caution was due to the old lady's sense of +charity and dislike of slander. But Clara had buckled on her armour for +Mrs Askerton, and was glad, therefore, to achieve her little victory. +When we buckle on our armour in any cause, we are apt to go on buckling +it, let the cause become as weak as it may; and Clara continued her +intimacy with Mrs Askerton, although there was something in the lady's +modes of speech, and something also in her modes of thinking, which did +not quite satisfy the aspirations of Miss Amedroz as to a friend. + +Colonel Askerton himself was a pleasant, quiet man, who seemed to be +contented with the life which he was leading. For six weeks in April +and May he would go up to town, leaving Mrs Askerton at the cottage as +to which, probably jovial, absence in the metropolis there seemed to be +no spirit of grudging on the part of the wife. On the first of +September a friend would come to the cottage and remain there for six +weeks' shooting: and during the winter the Colonel and his wife always +went to Paris for a fortnight. Such had been their life for the last +two years; and thus so said Mrs Askerton to Clara did they intend to +live as long as they could keep the cottage at Belton. Society at +Belton they had none, and as they said desired none. Between them and +Mr Wright there was only a speaking acquaintance. The married curate at +Redicote would not let his wife call on Mrs Askerton, and the unmarried +curate was a hard-worked, clerical hack a parochial minister at all +times and seasons, who went to no houses except the houses of the poor, +and who would hold communion with no man, and certainly with no woman, +who would not put up with clerical admonitions for Sunday backslidings. +Mr Amedroz himself neither received guests nor went as a guest to other +men's houses. He would occasionally stand for a while at the gate of +the Colonel's garden, and repeat the list of his own woes as long as +his neighbour would stand there to hear it. But there was no society at +Belton, and Clara, as far as she herself was aware, was the only person +with whom Mrs Askerton held any social intercourse, except what she +might have during her short annual holiday in Paris. + +'Of course, you are right,' she said, when Clara told her of the +proposed coming of Mr Belton. 'If he turn out to be a good fellow, you +will have gained a great deal. And should he be a bad, fellow, you will +have lost nothing. In either case you will know him, and considering +how he stands towards you, that itself is desirable.' + +'But if he should annoy papa?' + +'In your papa's condition, my dear, the coming of any one will annoy +him. At least, he will say so; though I do not in the least doubt that +he will like the excitement better even than you will.' + +'I can't say there will be much excitement to me.' + +'No excitement in a young man's coming into the house! Without shocking +your propriety, allow me to say that that is impossible. Of course, he +is coming to see whether he can't make matters all right by marrying +you.' + +'That's nonsense, Mrs Askerton.' + +'Very well. Let it be nonsense. But why shouldn't he? It's just what he +ought to do. He hasn't got a wife; and, as far as I know, you haven't +got a lover.' + +'I certainly have not got a lover.' + +'Our religious nephew at Perivale does not seem to be of any use.' + +'I wish, Mrs Askerton, you would not speak of Captain Aylmer in that +way. I don't know any man whom I like so much, or at any rate better, +than Captain Aylmer; but I hate the idea that no girl can become +acquainted with an unmarried man without having her name mentioned with +his, and having to hear ill-natured remarks of that kind.' + +'I hope you will learn to like this other man much better. Think how +nice it will be to be mistress of the old place after all. And then to +go back to the old family name! If I were you I would make up my mind +not to let him leave the place till I had brought him to my feet.' + +'If you go on like that I will not speak to you about him again.' + +'Or rather not to my feet for gentlemen have laid aside the humble way +of making love for the last twenty years at least; but I don't know +whether the women haven't gained quite as much by the change as the +men.' + +'As I know nothing will stop you when you once get into a vein of that +kind, I shall go,' said Clara. 'And till this man has come and gone I +shall not mention his name again in your presence.' + +'So be it,' said Mrs Askerton; 'but as I will promise to say nothing +more about him, you need not go on his account.' But Clara had got up, +and did leave the cottage at once. + + +CHAPTER III + +WILL BELTON + +Mr Belton came to the castle, and nothing further had been said at the +cottage about his coming. Clara had seen Mrs Askerton in the meantime +frequently, but that lady had kept her promise almost to Clara's +disappointment. For she though she had in truth disliked the +proposition that her cousin could be coming with any special views with +reference to herself had nevertheless sufficient curiosity about the +stranger to wish to talk about him. Her father, indeed, mentioned +Belton's name very frequently, saying something with reference to him +every time he found himself in his daughter's presence. A dozen times +he said that the man was heartless to come to the house at such a time, +and he spoke of his cousin always as though the man were guilty of a +gross injustice in being heir to the property. But not the less on that +account did he fidget himself about the room in which Belton was to +sleep, about the food that Belton was to eat, and especially about the +wine that Belton was to drink. What was he to do for wine? The stock of +wine in the cellars at Belton Castle was, no doubt, very low. The +squire himself drank a glass or two of port daily, and had some remnant +of his old treasures by him, which might perhaps last him his time; and +occasionally there came small supplies of sherry from the grocer at +Taunton; but Mr Amedroz pretended to think that Will Belton would want +champagne and claret and he would continue to make these suggestions in +spite of his own repeated complaints that the man was no better than an +ordinary farmer. 'I've no doubt he'll like beer,' said Clara. 'Beer!' +said her father, and then stopped himself, as though. he were lost in +doubt whether it would best suit him to scorn his cousin for having so +low a taste as that suggested on his behalf, or to ridicule his +daughter's idea that the household difficulty admitted of so convenient +a solution. + +The day of the arrival at last came, and Clara certainly was in a +twitter, although she had steadfastly resolved that she would be in no +twitter at all. She had told her aunt by letter of the proposed visit, +and Mrs Winterfield had expressed her approbation, saying that she +hoped it would lead to good results. Of what good results could her +aunt be thinking? The one probable good result would surely. be this +that relations so nearly connected should know each other. Why should +there be any fuss made about such a visit? But, nevertheless, Clara, +though she made no outward fuss, knew that inwardly she was not as calm +about the man's coming as she would have wished herself to be. + +He arrived about five o'clock in a gig from Taunton. Five was the +ordinary dinner hour at Belton, but it had been postponed till six on +this day, in the hope that the cousin might make his appearance at any +rate by that hour. Mr Amedroz had uttered various complaints as to the +visitor's heartlessness in not having written to name the hour of his +arrival, and was manifestly intending to make the most of the grievance +should he not present himself before six but this indulgence was cut +short by the sound of the gig wheels. Mr Amedroz and his daughter were +sitting in a small drawing-room which looked out to the front of the +house, and he, seated in his accustomed chair near the window, could +see the arrival. For a moment or two he remained quiet in his chair, as +though he would not allow so insignificant a thing as his cousin's +coming to ruffle him but he could not maintain this dignified +indifference, and before Belton was out of the gig he had shuffled out +into the hall. + +Clara followed her father almost unconsciously, and soon found herself +shaking hands with a big man, over six feet high, broad in the +shoulders, large limbed, with bright quick grey eyes, a large mouth, +teeth almost too perfect and a well-formed nose, with thick short brown +hair and small whiskers which came half-way down his cheeks a decidedly +handsome man with a florid face, but still, perhaps, with something of +the promised roughness of the farmer. But a more good-humoured looking +countenance Clara felt at once that she had never beheld. + +'And you are the little girl that I remember when I was a boy at Mr +Folliott's?' he said. His voice was clear, and rather loud, but it +sounded very pleasant in that sad old house. + +'Yes; I am the little girl,' said Clara smiling. + +'Dear, dear! and that's twenty years ago now,' said he. + +'But you oughtn't to remind me of that, Mr Belton.' + +'Oughtn't I? Why not?' + +'Because it shows how very old I am.' + +'Ah, yes to be sure. But there's nobody here that signifies. How well I +remember this room and the old tower out there. It isn't changed a bit!' + +'Not to the outward eye, perhaps,' said the squire. + +'That's what I mean. So they're making hay still. Our hay has been all +up these three weeks. I didn't know you ever meadowed the park.' Here +he trod with dreadful severity upon the corns of Mr Amedroz, but he did +not perceive it. And when the squire muttered something about a tenant, +and the inconvenience of keeping land in his own hands, Belton would +have gone on with the subject had not Clara changed the conversation. +The squire complained bitterly of this to Clara when they were alone, +saying that it was very heartless. + +She had a little scheme of her own a plan arranged for the saying of a +few words to her cousin on the earliest opportunity of their being +alone together and she contrived that this should take place within +half an hour after his arrival, as he went through the hall up to his +room. 'Mr Belton,' she said, 'I'm sure you will not take it amiss if I +take a cousin's privilege at once and explain to you something of our +way of living here. My dear father is not very strong.' + +'He is much altered since I saw him last.' + +'Oh, yes. Think of all that he has had to bear! Well, Mr Belton, the +fact is, that we are not so well off as we used to be, and are obliged +to live in a very quiet way. You will not mind that?' + +'Who? I?' + +'I take it very kind of you, your coming all this way to see us' + +'I'd have come three times the distance.' + +'But you must put up with us as you find us, you know. The truth is we +are very poor.' + +'Well, now that's just what I wanted to know. One couldn't write and +ask such a question; but I was sure I should find out if I came.' + +'You've found it out already, you see.' + +'As for being poor, it's a thing I don't think very much about not for +young people. But it isn't comfortable when a man gets old. Now what I +want to know is this; can't something be done?' + +'The only thing to do is to be very kind to him. He has had to let the +park to Mr Stovey, and he doesn't like talking about it.' + +'But if it isn't talked about, how can it be mended?' + +'It can't be mended.' + +'We'll see about that. But I'll be kind to him; you see if I ain't. And +I'll tell you what, I'll be kind to you too, if you'll let me. You have +got no brother now.' + +'No,' said Clara; 'I have got no brother now.' Belton was looking full +into her face, and saw that her eyes had become clouded with tears. + +'I will be your brother,' said he. 'You see if I don't. When I say a +thing I mean it. I will be your brother.' And he took her hand, +caressing it, and showing her that he was not in the least afraid of +her. He was blunt in his bearing, saying things which her father would +have called indelicate and heartless, as though they gave him no +effort, and placing himself at once almost in a position of ascendency. +This Clara had not intended. She had thought that her farmer cousin, in +spite of the superiority of his prospects as heir to the property, +would have acceded to her little hints with silent acquiescence; but +instead of this he seemed prepared to take upon himself the chief part +in the play that was to be acted between them. 'Shall it be so?' he +said, still holding her hand. + +'You are very kind.' + +'I will be more than kind; I will love you dearly if you will let me. +You don't suppose that I have looked you up here for nothing. Blood is +thicker than water, and you have nobody now so near to you as I am. I +don't see why you should be so poor, as the debts have been paid.' + +'Papa has had to borrow money on his life interest in the place.' + +'That's the mischief! Never mind. We'll see if we can't do something. +And in the meantime don't make a stranger of me. Anything does for me. +Lord bless you! if you were to see how I rough it sometimes! I can eat +beans and bacon with any one; and what's more, I can go without 'em if +I can't get 'em.' + +'We'd better get ready for dinner now. I always dress, because papa +likes to see it.' This she said as a hint to her cousin that he would +be expected to change his coat, for her father would have been annoyed +had his guest sat down to dinner without such ceremony. Will Belton was +not very good at taking hints; but he did understand this, and made the +necessary change in his apparel. + +The evening was long and dull, and nothing occurred worthy of remark +except the surprise manifested by Mr Amedroz when Belton called his +daughter by her Christian name. This he did without the slightest +hesitation, as though it were the most natural thing in the world for +him to do. She was his cousin, and cousins of course addressed each +other in that way. Clara's quick eye immediately saw her father's +slight gesture of dismay, but Belton caught nothing of this. The squire +took an early opportunity of calling him Mr Belton with some little +peculiarity of expression; but this was altogether lost on Will, who +five times in the next five minutes addressed 'Clara' as though they +were already on the most intimate terms. She would have answered him in +the same way, and would have called him Will, had she not been afraid +of offending her father. + +Mr Amedroz had declared his purpose of coming down to breakfast during +the period of his cousin's visit, and at half-past nine he was in the +parlour. Clara had been there some time, but had not seen her cousin. +He entered the room immediately after her father, bringing his hat with +him in his hand, and wiping the drops of perspiration from his brow. +'You have been out, Mr Belton,' said the squire. + +'All round the place, sir. Six o'clock doesn't often find me in bed, +summer or winter. What's the use of laying in bed when one has had +enough of sleep?' + +'But that's just the question,' said Clara; 'whether one has had enough +at six o'clock.' + +'Women want more than men, of course. A man, if he means to do any good +with land, must be out early. The grass will grow of itself at nights, +but it wants looking after as soon as the daylight comes.' + +'I don't know that it would do much good to the grass here,' said the +squire, mournfully. + +'As much here as anywhere. And indeed I've got something to say about +that.' He had now seated himself at the breakfast-table, and was +playing with his knife and fork. 'I think, sir, you're hardly making +the best you can out of the park.' + +'We won't mind talking about it, if you please,' said the squire. + +'Well; of course I won't, if you don't like it; but upon my word you +ought to look about you; you ought indeed.' + +'In what way do you mean?' said Clara. + +'If your father doesn't like to keep the land in his own hands, he +should let it to some one who would put stock in it not go on cutting +it year after year and putting nothing back, as this fellow will do. +I've been talking to Stovey, and that's just what he means.' + +'Nobody here has got money to put stock on the land,' said the squire, +angrily. + +'Then you should look for somebody somewhere else. That's all. I'll +tell you what now, Mr Amedroz, I'll do it myself.' By this time he had +helped himself to two large slices of cold mutton, and was eating his +breakfast and talking with an equal amount of energy for either +occupation. + +'That's out of the question,' said the squire. + +'I don't see why it should be out of the question. It would be better +for you and better for me too, if this place is ever to be mine.' On +hearing this the squire winced, but said nothing. This terrible fellow +was so vehemently outspoken that the poor old man was absolutely unable +to keep pace with him even to the repeating of his wish that the matter +should be talked of no further. 'I'll tell you what I'll do, now,' +continued Belton. 'There's altogether, outside the palings and in, +about a hundred and fifty acres of it. I'll give you one pound two and +sixpence an acre, and I won't cut an acre of grass inside the park no, +nor much of it outside either only just enough to give me a little +fodder for the cattle in winter.' + +'And give up Plaistow Hall?' asked Clara. + +'Lord love you, no. I've a matter of nine hundred acres on hand there, +and most of it under the plough. I've counted it up, and it would just +cost me a thousand pounds to stock this place. I should come and look +at it twice a year or so, and I should see my money home again, if I +didn't get any profit out of it.' + +Mr Amedroz was astonished. The man had only been in his house one +night, and was proposing to take all his troubles off his hands. He did +not relish the proposition at all. He did not like to be accused of not +doing as well for himself as others could do for him. He did not wish +to make any change although he remembered at the moment his anger with +Farmer Stovey respecting the haycarts. He did not desire that the heir +should have any immediate interest in the place. But he was not strong +enough to meet the proposition with a direct negative. 'I couldn't get +rid of Stovey in that way,' he said, plaintively. I've settled it all +with Stovey already,' said Belton. 'He'll be glad enough to walk off +with a twenty-pound note, which I'll give him. He can't make money out +of the place. He hasn't got means to stock it, and then see the wages +that hay-making runs away with! He'd lose by it even at what he's +paying, and he knows it. There won't be any difficulty about Stovey.' + +By twelve o'clock on that day Mr Stovey had been brought into the +house, and had resigned the land. It had been let to Mr William Belton +at an increased rental a rental increased by nearly forty pounds per +annum and that gentleman had already made many of his arrangements for +entering upon his tenancy. The twenty pounds had already been paid to +Stovey, and the transaction was complete. Mr Amedroz sat in his chair +bewildered, dismayed and, as he himself declared shocked, quite +shocked, at the precipitancy of the young man. It might be for the +best. He didn't know. He didn't feel at all sure. But such hurrying in +such a matter was, under all the circumstances of the family, to say +the least of it, very indelicate. He was angry with himself for having +yielded, and angry with Clara for having allowed him to do so. 'It +doesn't signify much,' he said, at last. 'Of course he'll have it all +to himself before long.' + +'But, papa, it really seems to be a much better arrangement for you. +You'll get more money' + +'Money is not everything, my dear.' + +'But you'd sooner have Mr Belton, our own cousin, about the place, than +Mr Stovey.' + +'I don't know. We shall see. The thing is done now, and there is no use +in complaining. I must say he hasn't shown a great deal of delicacy.' + +On that afternoon Belton asked Clara to go out with him, and walk round +the place. He had been again about the grounds, and had made plans, and +counted up capabilities, and calculated his profit and losses. 'If you +don't dislike scrambling about,' said he, 'I'll show you everything +that I intend to do.' + +'But I can't have any changes made, Mr Belton,' said Mr Amedroz, with +some affectation of dignity in his manner. 'I won't have the fences +moved, or anything of that kind.' + +'Nothing shall be done, sir, that you don't approve. I'll just manage +it all as if I was acting as your own bailiff.' 'Son,' he was going to +say, but he remembered the fate of his cousin Charles just in time to +prevent the use of the painful word. + +'I don't want to have anything done,' said Mr Amedroz. + +'Then nothing shall be done. We'll just mend a fence or two, to keep in +the cattle, and leave other things as they are. But perhaps Clara will +walk out with me all the same.' + +Clara was quite ready to walk out, and had already tied on her hat and +taken her parasol. + +'Your father is a little nervous,' said he, as soon as they were beyond +hearing of the house. + +'Can you wonder at it, when you remember all that he has suffered.' + +'I don't wonder at it in the least; and I don't wonder at his disliking +me either.' + +'I don't think he dislikes you, Mr Belton.' + +'Oh, but he does. Of course he does. I'm the heir to the place instead +of you. It is natural that he should dislike me. But I'll live it down. +You see if I don't. I'll make him so fond of me, he'll always want to +have me here. I don't mind a little dislike to begin with.' + +'You're a wonderful man, Mr Belton.' + +'I wish you wouldn't call me Mr Belton. But of course you must do as +you please about that. If I can make him call me Will, I suppose you'll +call me so too.' + +'Oh, yes; then I will.' + +'It don't much matter what a person is called; does it! Only one likes +to be friendly with one's friends. I suppose you don't like my calling +you Clara.' + +'Now you've begun you had better go on.' + +'I mean to. I make it a rule never to go back in the world. Your father +is half sorry that he has agreed about the place; but I shan't let him +off now. And I'll tell you what. In spite of what he says, I'll have it +as different as possible before this time next year. 'Why, there's lots +of timber that ought to come out of the plantation; and there's places +where the roots want stubbing up horribly. These things always pay for +themselves if they are properly done. Any good done in the world always +pays.' Clara often remembered those words afterwards when she was +thinking of her cousin's character. Any good done in the world always +pays! + +'But you mustn't offend my father, even though it should do good,' she +said. + +'I understand,' he answered. 'I won't tread on his toes. Where do you +get your milk and butter?' + +'We buy them.' + +'From Stovey, I suppose.' + +'Yes; from Mr Stovey. It goes against the rent.' + +'And it ought to go against the grain too living in the country and +paying for milk! I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll give you a cow. It +shall be a little present from me to you.' He said nothing of the more +important present which this would entail upon him in the matter of the +grass for the cow; but she understood the nature of the arrangement, +and was anxious to prevent it. + +'Oh, Mr Belton, I think we'd better not attempt that,' she said. + +'But we will attempt it. I've pledged myself to do nothing to oppose +your father; but I've made no such promise as to you. We'll have a cow +before I'm many days older. What a pretty place this is! I do like +these rocks so much, and it is such a comfort to be off the flat.' + +'It is pretty.' + +'Very pretty. You've no conception what an ugly place Plaistow is. The +land isn't actual fen now, but it was once. And it's quite flat. And +there is a great dike, twenty feet wide, oozing through it just oozing, +you know; and lots of little dikes, at right angles with the big one. +And the fields are all square. And there are no hedges and hardly a +tree to be seen in the place. + +'What a picture you have drawn! I should commit suicide if I lived +there.' + +'Not if you had so much to do as I have.' + +'And what is the house like?' + +'The house is good enough an old-fashioned manor-house, with high brick +chimneys, and brick gables, tiled all over, and large square windows +set in stone. The house is good enough, only it stands in the middle of +a farm-yard. I said there were no trees, but there is an avenue.' + +'Come, that is something.' + +'It was an old family seat, and they used to have avenues in those +days; but it doesn't lead up to the present hail door. It comes +sideways up to the farm. yard; so that the whole thing must have been +different once, and there must have been a great court-yard. In +Elizabeth's time Plaistow Manor was rather a swell place, and belonged +to some Roman Catholics who came to grief, and then the Howards got it. +There's a whole history about it, only I don't care much about those +things.' + +'And is it yours now?' + +'It's between me and my uncle, and I pay him rent for his part. He's a +clergyman you know, and he has a living in Lincolnshire not far off.' + +'And do you live alone in that big house?' + +'There's my sister. You've heard of Mary haven't you?' + +Then Clara remembered that there was a Miss Belton, a poor sickly +creature, with a twisted spine and a hump back, as to whose welfare she +ought to have made inquiries. + +'Oh yes; of course,' said Clara. 'I hope she's better than she used to +be when we heard of her.' + +'She'll never be better. But then she does not become much worse. I +think she does grow a little weaker. She's older than I am, you know +two years older; but you would think she was quite an old woman to look +at her.' Then, for the next half-hour, they talked about Mary Belton as +they visited every corner of the place. Belton still had an eye to +business as he went on talking, and Clara remarked how many sticks he +moved as he went, how many stones he kicked on one side, and how +invariably he noted any defect in the fences. But still he talked of +his sister, swearing that she was as good as gold, and at last wiping +away the tears from his eyes as he described her maladies. 'And yet I +believe she is better off than any of us,' he said, 'because she is so +good.' Clara began to wish that she had called him Will from the +beginning, because she liked him so much. He was just the man to have +for a cousin a true loving cousin, stalwart, self-confident, with a +grain or two of tyranny in his composition as becomes a man in relation +to his intimate female relatives; and one, moreover, with whom she +could trust herself to be familiar without any danger of love-making! +She saw his character clearly, and told herself that she understood it +perfectly. He wag a jewel of a cousin, and she must begin to call him +Will as speedily as possible. + +At last they came round in their walk to the gate leading into Colonel +Askerton's garden; and here in the garden, close to the gate, they +found Mrs Askerton. I fancy that she had been watching for them, or at +any rate watching for Clara, so that she might know how her friend was +carrying herself with her cousin. She came at once to the wicket, and +there she was introduced by Clara to Mr Belton. Mr Belton, as he made +his bow, muttered something awkwardly, and seemed to lose his self- +possession for the moment. Mrs Askerton was very gracious to him, and +she knew well how to be both gracious and ungracious. She talked about +the scenery, and the charms of the old place, and the dullness of the +people around them, and the inexpediency of looking for society in +country places; till after awhile Mr Belton was once more at his ease. + +'How is Colonel Askerton?' asked Clara. + +'He's in-doors. Will you come and see him? He's reading a French novel, +as usual. It's the only thing he ever does in summer. Do you ever read +French novels, Mr Belton?' + +'I read very little at all, and when I do I read English.' + +'Ah, you're a man who has a pursuit in life, no doubt.' + +'I should rather think so that is, if you mean, by a pursuit, earning +my bread. A man has not much time for French novels with a thousand +acres of land on his hands; even if he knew how to read French, which I +don't.' + +'But you're not always at work on your farm?' + +'It's pretty constant, Mrs Askerton. Then I shoot, and hunt.' + +'You're a sportsman?' + +'All men living in the country are more or less.' + +'Colonel Askerton shoots a great deal. He has the shooting of Belton, +you know. He'll be delighted, I'm sure, to see you if you are here some +time in September. But you, coming from Norfolk, would not care for +partridge-shooting in Somersetshire.' + +'I don't see why it shouldn't be as good here as there.' + +'Colonel Askerton thinks he has got a fair head of game upon the place.' + +'I dare say. Game is easily kept if people knew how to set about it.' + +'Colonel Askerton has a very good keeper, and has gone to a great deal +of expense since he has been here.' + +'I'm my own head-keeper,' said Belton;' and so I will be or rather +should be, if I had this place.' + +Something in the lady's tone had grated against his feelings and +offended him; or perhaps he thought that she assumed too many of the +airs of proprietorship because the shooting of the place had been let +to her husband for thirty pounds a year. + +'I hope you don't mean to say you'll turn us out,' said Mrs Askerton, +laughing. + +'I have no power to turn anybody out or in,' said he. 'I've got nothing +to do with it.' + +Clara, perceiving that matters were not going quite pleasantly between +her old and new friend, thought it best to take her departure. Belton, +as he went, lifted his hat from his head, and Clara could not keep +herself from thinking that he was not only very handsome, but that he +looked very much like a gentleman, in spite of his occupation as a +farmer. + +'Bye-bye, Clara,' said Mrs Askerton; 'come down and see me tomorrow, +there's a dear. Don't forget what a dull life I have of it.' Clara said +that she would come. And I shall be so happy to see Mr Belton if he +will call before he leaves you.' At this Belton again raised his hat +from his head, and muttered some word or two of civility. But this, his +latter muttering, was different from the first, for he had altogether +regained his presence of mind. + +'You didn't seem to get on very well with my friend,' said Clara, +laughing, as soon as they had turned away from the cottage. + +'Well, no that is to say, not particularly well or particularly badly. +At first I took her for somebody else I knew slightly ever so long ago, +and I was thinking of that other person at the time.' + +'And what was the other person's name?' + +'I can't even remember that at the present moment.' + +'Mrs Askerton was a Miss Oliphant.' + +'That wasn't the other lady's name. But, independently of that, they +can't be the same. The other lady married a Mr Berdmore.' + +'A Mr Berdmore!' Clara as she repeated the name felt convinced that she +had heard it before, and that she had heard it in connexion with Mrs +Askerton. She certainly had heard the name of Berdmore pronounced, or +had seen it written, or had in some shape come across the name in Mrs +Askerton's presence; or at any rate somewhere on the premises occupied +by that lady. More than this she could not remember; but the name, as +she had now heard it from her cousin, became at once distinctly +connected in her memory with her friends at the cottage. + +'Yes,' said Belton; 'a Berdmore. I knew more of him than of her, though +for the matter of that, I knew very little of him either. She was a +fast-going girl, and his friends were very sorry. But I think they are +both dead or divorced, or that they have come to grief in some way.' + +'And is Mrs Askerton like the fast-going lady?' + +'In a certain way. Not that I remember what the fast-going lady was +like; but there was something about this woman that put me in mind of +the other. Vigo was her name; now I recollect it a Miss Vigo. It's nine +or ten years ago now, and I was little more than a boy.' + +'Her name was Oliphant.' + +'I don't suppose they have anything to do with each other. What riled +me was the way she talked of the shooting. People do when they take a +little shooting. They pay some trumpery thirty or forty pounds a year, +and then they seem to think that it's almost the same as though they +owned the property themselves. I've known a man talk of his manor +because he had the shooting of a wood and a small farm round it. They +are generally shop-keepers out of London, gin distillers, or brewers, +or people like that.' + +'Why, Mr Belton, I didn't think you could be so furious! + +'Can't I? When my back's up, it is up! But it isn't up yet.' + +'And I hope it won't be up while you remain in Somersetshire.' + +'I won't answer for that. There's Stovey's empty cart standing just +where it stood yesterday; and he promised he'd have it home before +three today. My back will be up with him if he doesn't mind himself.' + +It was nearly six o'clock when they got back to the house, and Clara +was surprised to find that she had been out three hours with her +cousin. Certainly it had been very pleasant. The usual companion of her +walks, when she had a companion, was Mrs Askerton; but Mrs Askerton did +not like real walking. She would creep about the grounds for an hour or +so, and even such companionship as that was better to Clara than +absolute solitude; but now she had been carried about the place, +getting over stiles and through gates, and wandering through the +copses, till she was tired and hungry, and excited and happy. 'Oh, +papa,' she said, 'we have had such a walk!' + +'I thought we were to have dined at five,' he replied, in a low wailing +voice. + +'No, papa, indeed indeed you said six.' + +'That was for yesterday.' + +'You said we were to make it six while Mr Belton was here.' + +'Very well if it must be, I suppose it must be.' + +'You don't mean on my account,' said Will. 'I'll undertake to eat my +dinner, sir, at any hour that you'll undertake to give it me. If +there's a strong point about me at all, it is my appetite.' + +Clara, when she went to her father's room that evening, told him what +Mr Belton had said about the shooting, knowing that her father's +feelings would agree with those which had been expressed by her cousin. +Mr Amedroz of course made this an occasion for further grumbling, +suggesting that Belton wanted to get the shooting for himself as he had +got the farm. But, nevertheless, the effect which Clara had intended +was produced, and before she left him he had absolutely proposed that +the shooting and the land should go together. + +'I'm sure that Mr Belton doesn't mean that at all,' said Clara. + +'I don't care what he means,' said the squire. + +'And it wouldn't do to treat Colonel Askerton in that way,' said Clara. + +'I shall treat him just as I like,' said the squire. + + +CHAPTER IV + +SAFE AGAINST LOVE-MAKING + +A DEAR cousin, and safe against love-making! This was Clara's verdict +respecting Will Belton, as she lay thinking of him in bed that night. +Why that warranty against love-making should be a virtue in her eyes I +cannot, perhaps, explain. But all young ladies are apt to talk to +themselves in such phrases about gentlemen with whom they are thrown +into chance intimacy as though love-making were in itself a thing +injurious and antagonistic to happiness, instead of being, as it is, +the very salt of life. Safe against love-making! And yet Mrs Askerton, +her friend, had spoken of the probability of such love-making as being +the great advantage of his coming. And there could not be a second +opinion as to the expediency of a match between her and her cousin in a +worldly point of view. Clara, moreover, had already perceived that he +was a man fit to guide a wife, very good- humoured and good-tempered +also, anxious to give pleasure to others, a man of energy and +forethought, who would be sure to do well in the world and hold his +head always high among his fellows as good a husband as a girl could +have. Nevertheless, she congratulated herself in that she felt +satisfied that he was safe against love-making! Might it be possible +that the pressing of hands at Taunton had been so tender, and those +last words spoken with Captain Aylmer so soft, that on his account she +felt delighted to think that her cousin was warranted not to make love? + +And what did Will Belton think about his cousin, insured as he was thus +supposed to be against the dangers of love? He, also, lay awake for +awhile that night, thinking over his new friendship. Or rather he +thought of it walking about his room, and looking out at the bright +harvest moon for with him to be in bed was to be asleep. He sat himself +down, and he walked about, and he leaned out of the window into the +cool night air; and he made some comparisons in his mind, and certain +calculations; and he thought of his present home, and of his sister, +and of his future prospects as they were concerned with the old place +at which he was now staying; and he portrayed to himself, in his mind, +Clara's head and face and figure and feet and he resolved that she +should be his wife. He had never seen a girl who seemed to suit him so +well. Though he had only been with her for a day, he swore to himself +that he knew he could love her. Nay he swore to himself that he did +love her. Then when he had quite made up his mind, he tumbled into his +bed and was asleep in five minutes. + +Miss Amedroz was a handsome young woman, tall, well-made, active, and +full of health. She carried herself as though she thought her limbs +were made for use, and not simply for ease upon a sofa. Her head and +neck stood well upon her shoulders, and her waist showed none of those +waspish proportions of which ladies used to be more proud than I +believe them to be now, in their more advanced state of knowledge and +taste. There was much about her in which she was like her cousin, as +though the blood they had in common between them had given to both the +same proportions and the same comeliness. Her hair was of a dark brown +colour, as was his. Her eyes were somewhat darker than his, and perhaps +not so full of constant movement; but they were equally bright, and +possessed that quick power of expressing tenderness which belonged to +them. Her nose was more finely cut, as was also her chin, and the oval +of her face; but she had the same large expressive mouth, and the same +perfection of ivory-white teeth. As has been said before, Clara +Amedroz, who was now nearly twenty-six years of age, was not a +young-looking woman. To the eyes of many men that would have been her +fault; but in the eyes of Belton it was no fault. He had not made +himself fastidious as to women by much consort with them, and he was +disposed to think that she who was to become his wife had better be +something more than a girl not long since taken out of the nursery. He +was well-to-do in the world, and could send his wife out in her +carriage, with all becoming bravery of appurtenances. And he would do +so, too, when he should have a wife. But still he would look to his +wife to be a useful partner to him. She should be a woman not above +agricultural solicitude, or too proud to have a care for her cows. +Clara, he was sure, had no false pride; and yet as he was sure also she +was at every point such a lady as would do honour to the carriage and +the bravery when it should be forthcoming. And then such a marriage as +this would put an end to all the trouble which he felt in reference to +the entail on the estate. He knew that he was to be master of Belton, +and of course had, in that knowledge, the satisfaction which men do +feel from the consciousness of their future prosperity. And this with +him was enhanced by a strong sympathy with old-fashioned prejudices as +to family. He would be Belton of Belton; and there had been Beltons of +Belton in old days, for a longer time backwards than he was able to +count. But still the prospect had not been without its alloy, and he +had felt real distress at the idea of turning his cousin out of her +father's house. Such a marriage as that he now contemplated would put +all these things right. + +When he got up in the morning he was quite as keen about it as he had +been on the previous evening and as he thought about it the more, he +became keener and still more keen. On the previous evening, as he was +leaning out of the window endeavouring to settle in his own mind what +would be the proper conduct of the romance of the thing, he had +considered that he had better not make his proposal quite at once. He +was to remain eight days at Belton, and as eight days was not a long +period of acquaintance, he had reflected that it might be well for him +to lay what foundation for love it might be in his power to construct +during his present sojourn, and then return and complete the work +before Christmas. But as he was shaving himself, the habitual +impatience of his nature predominated, and he became disposed to think +that delay would be useless, and might perhaps be dangerous. It might +be possible that Clara would be unable to give him a decisive answer so +quickly as to enable him to return home an accepted lover; but if such +doubt were left, such doubt would give him an excuse for a speedy +return to Belton. He did not omit to tell himself that very probably he +might not succeed at all. He was a man not at all apt to feel assurance +that he could carry all before him in love. But in this matter, as in +all others which required from him any personal effort, he prepared +himself to do his best, leaving the consequences to follow as they +might. When he threw his seed corn into the earth with all such due +appliances of agricultural skill and industry as his capital and +experience enabled him to use, he did his part towards the production +of next year's crop; and after that he must leave it to a higher Power +to give to him, or to withhold from him, the reward of his labour. He +had found that, as a rule, the reward had been given when the labour +had been honest; and he was now prepared to follow the same plan, with +the same hopes, in this matter of his love-making. + +After much consideration very much consideration, a consideration which +took him the whole time that he was brushing his hair and washing his +teeth he resolved that he would, in the first instance, speak to Mr +Amedroz. Not that he intended that the father should win the daughter +for him. He had an idea that he would like to do that work for himself. +But he thought that the old squire would be better pleased if his +consent were asked in the first instance. The present day was Sunday, +and he would not speak on the subject till Monday. This day he would +devote to the work of securing his future father-in-law's good opinion; +to that and to his prayers. + +And he had gained very much upon Mr Amedroz before the evening of the +day was over. He was a man before whom difficulties seemed to yield, +and who had his own way simply because he had become accustomed to ask +for it to ask for it and to work for it. He had so softened the +squire's tone of thought towards him, that the future stocking of the +land was spoken of between them with something like energy on both +sides; and Mr Amedroz had given his consent, without any difficulty, to +the building of a shed for winter stall-feeding. Clara sat by +listening, and perceived that Will Belton would soon be allowed to do +just what he pleased with the place. Her father talked as she had not +heard him talk since her poor brother's death, and was quite animated +on the subject of woodcraft. 'We don't know much about timber down +where I am,' said Will, 'just because we've got no trees.' + +'I'll show you your way,' said the old man. 'I've managed the timber on +the estate myself for the last forty years.' Will Belton of course did +not say a word as to the gross mismanagement which had been apparent +even to him. What a cousin he was! Clara thought what a paragon among +cousins! And then he was so manifestly safe against love-making! So +safe, that he only cared to talk about timber, and oxen, and fences, +and winter-forage! But it was all just as it ought to be; and if her +father did not call him Will before long, she herself would set the way +by doing so first. A very paragon among cousins! + +'What a flatterer you are,' she said to him that night. + +'A flatterer! I?' + + + +'Yes, you. You have flattered papa out of all his animosity already. I +shall be jealous soon; for he'll think more of you than of me.' + +'I hope he'll come to think of us as being nearly equally near to him,' +said Belton, with a tone that was half serious and half tender. Now +that he had made up his mind, he could not keep his hand from the work +before him an instant. But Clara had also made up her mind, and would +not be made to think that her cousin could mean anything that was more +than cousinly. + +'Upon my word,' she said, laughing, 'that is very cool on your part.' + +'I came here determined to be friends with him at any rate.' + +'And you did so without any thought of me. But you said you would be my +brother, and I shall not forget your promise. Indeed, indeed, I cannot +tell you how glad I am that you have come both for papa's sake and my +own. You have done him so much good that I only dread to think that you +are going so soon.' + +'I'll be back before long. I think nothing of running across here from +Norfolk. You'll see enough of me before next summer.' + +Soon after breakfast on the next morning he got Mr Amedroz out into the +grounds, on the plea of showing him the proposed site for the cattle +shed; but not a word was said about the shed on that occasion. He went +to work at his other task at once, and when that was well on hand the +squire was quite unfitted for the consideration of any less important +matter, however able to discuss it Belton might have been himself. + +'I've got something particular that I want to say to you, sir,' Belton +began. + +Now Mr Amedroz was of opinion that his cousin had been saying something +very particular ever since his arrival, and was rather frightened at +this immediate prospect of a new subject. + +'There's nothing wrong; is there?' + +'No, nothing wrong at least, I hope it's not wrong. Would not it be a +good plan, sir, if I were to marry my cousin Clara?' + +What a terrible young man! Mr Amedroz felt that his breath was so +completely taken away from him that he was quite unable to speak a word +of answer at the moment. Indeed, he was unable to move, and stood +still, where he had been fixed by the cruel suddenness of the +proposition made to him. + +'Of course I know nothing of what she may think about it,' continued +Belton. 'I thought it best to come to you before I spoke a word to her. +And I know that in many ways she is above me. She is better educated, +and reads more, and all that sort of thing. And it may be that she'd +rather marry a London man than a fellow who passes all his time in the +country. But she couldn't get one who would love her better or treat +her more kindly. And then as to the property; you must own it would be +a good arrangement. You'd like to know it would go to your own child +and your own grandchild wouldn't you, sir? And I'm not badly off, +without looking to this place at all, and could give her every thing +she wants. But then I don't know that she'd care to marry a farmer.' +These last words he said in a melancholy tone, as though aware that he +was confessing his own disgrace. + +The squire had listened to it all, and had not as yet said a word. And +now, when Belton ceased, he did not know what word to speak. He was a +man whose thoughts about women were chivalrous, and perhaps a little +old-fashioned. Of course, when a man contemplates marriage, he could do +nothing better, nothing more honourable, than consult the lady's father +in the first instance. But he felt that even a father should be +addressed on such a subject with great delicacy. There should be +ambages in such a matter. The man who resolved to commit himself to +such a task should come forward with apparent difficulty with great +diffidence, and even with actual difficulty. He should keep himself +almost hidden, as behind a mask, and should tell of his own ambition +with doubtful, quivering voice. And the ambages should take time. He +should approach the citadel to be taken with covered ways working his +way slowly and painfully. But this young man, before he had been in the +house three days, said all that he had to say without the slightest +quaver in his voice, and evidently expected to get an answer about the +squire's daughter as quickly as he had got it about the squire's land. + +'You have surprised me very much,' said the old man at last, drawing +his breath. + +'I'm quite in earnest about it. Clara seems to me to be the very girl +to make a good wife to such a one as I am. She's got everything that a +woman ought to have By George, she has!' + +'She is a good girl, Mr Belton.' + +'She is as good as gold, every inch of her.' + +'But you have not known her very long, Mr Belton.' + +'Quite long enough for my purposes. You see I knew all about her +beforehand who she is, and where she comes from. There's a great deal +in that, you know.' + +Mr Amedroz shuddered at the expressions used. It was grievous to him to +hear his daughter spoken of as one respecting whom some one knew who +she was and whence she came. Such knowledge respecting the daughter of +such a family was, as a matter of course, common to all polite persons. +'Yes,' said Mr Amedroz, stiffly: 'you know as much as that about her, +certainly.' + +'And she knows as much about me. Now the question is, whether you have +any objection to make?' + +'Really, Mr Belton, you have taken me so much by surprise that I do not +feel myself competent to answer you at once.' + +'Shall we say in an hour's time, sir?' An hour's time! Mr Amedroz, if +he could have been left to his own guidance, would have thought a month +very little for such a work. + +'I suppose you would wish me to see Clara first,' said Mr Amedroz. + +'Oh dear, no. I would much rather ask her myself if only I could get +your consent to my doing so.' + +'And you have said nothing to her?' + +'Not a word.' + +'I am glad of that. You would have behaved badly, I think, had you done +so while staying under my roof.' + +'I thought it best, at any rate, to come to you first. But as I must be +back at Plaistow on this day week, I haven't much time to lose. So if +you could think about it this afternoon, you know Mr Amedroz, much +bewildered, promised that he would do his best, and eventually did +bring himself to give an answer on the next morning. 'I have been +thinking about this all night,' said Mr Amedroz. + +'I'm sure I'm very much obliged to you,' said Belton, feeling rather +ashamed of his own remissness as he remembered how soundly he had +himself slept. + +'If you are quite sure of yourself' + +'Do you mean sure of loving her? I am as sure of that as anything.' + +'But men are so apt to change their fancies.' + +'I don't know much about my fancies; but I don't often change my +purpose when I'm in earnest. In such a matter as this I couldn't +change. I'll say as much as that for myself, though it may seem bold.' + +'Of course, in regard to money such a marriage would be advantageous to +my child. I don't know whether you know it, but I shall have nothing to +give her literally nothing.' + +'All the better, sir, as far as I am concerned. I'm not one who wants +to be saved from working by a wife's fortune.' + +'But most men like to get something when they marry.' + +'I want to get nothing nothing, that is, in the way of money. If Clara +becomes my wife I'll never ask you for one shilling.' + +'I hope her aunt will do something for her.' This the old man said in a +wailing voice, as though the expression of such a hope was grievous to +him. + +'If she becomes my wife, Mrs Winterfield will be quite at liberty to +leave her money elsewhere.' There were old causes of dislike between Mr +Belton and Mrs Winterfield, and even now Mrs Winterfield was almost +offended because Mr Belton was staying at Belton Castle. + +'But all that is quite uncertain,' continued Mr Amedroz. + +'And I have your leave to speak to Clara myself?' + +'Well, Mr Belton; yes; I think so. I do not see why you should not +speak to her. But I fear you are a little too precipitate. Clara has +known you so very short a time, that you can hardly have a right to +hope that she should learn to regard you at once as you would have her +do.' As he heard this, Belton's face became long and melancholy. He had +taught himself to think that he could dispense with that delay till +Christmas which he had at first proposed to himself, and that he might +walk into the arena at once, and perhaps win the battle in the first +round. 'Three days is such a very short time,' said the squire. + +'It is short certainly,' said Belton. + +The father's leave was however given, and armed with that, Belton was +resolved that he would take, at any rate, some preliminary steps in +love-making before he returned to Plaistow. What would be the nature of +the preliminary steps taken by such a one as him, the reader by this +time will probably be able to surmise. + + +CHAPTER V + +NOT SAFE AGAINST LOVE-MAKING + +'Why don't you call him Will?' Clara said to her father. This question +was asked on the evening of that Monday on which Mr Amedroz had given +his consent as to the marriage proposal. + +'Call him Will! Why should I?' + +'You used to do so, when he was a boy.' + +'Of course I did; but that is years ago. He would think it impertinent +now.' + +'Indeed he would not; he would like it. He has told me so. It sounds so +cold to him to be called Mr Belton by his relations.' + +The father looked at his daughter as though for a moment he also +suspected that matters had really been arranged between her and her +future lover without his concurrence, and before his sanction had been +obtained. But if for a moment such a thought did cress his mind, it did +not dwell there. He trusted Belton; but as to his daughter, he knew +that he might be sure of her. It would be impossible with her to keep +such a secret from him, even for half a day. And yet, how odd it was! +Here was a man who in three days had fallen in love with his daughter; +and here was his daughter apparently quite as ready to be in love with +the man. How could she, who was ordinarily circumspect, and almost cold +in her demeanour towards strangers who was from circumstances and from +her own disposition altogether hostile to flirting intimacies how could +this Clara have changed her nature so speedily? The squire did not +understand it, but was prepared to believe that it was all for the +best. 'I'll call him Will, if you like it,' said he. + +'Do, papa, and then I can do so also. He is such a good fellow, and I +am so fond of him.' + +On the next morning Mr Amedroz did, with much awkwardness, call his +guest by his Christian name. Clara caught her cousin's eye and smiled, +and he also smiled. At that moment he was more in love than ever. Could +anything be more charming than this? Immediately after breakfast he was +going over to Redicote, to see a builder in a small way who lived +there, and whom he proposed to employ in putting up the shed for the +cattle; but he almost begrudged the time, so anxious was he to begin +his suit. But his plan had been laid out and he would follow it. 'I +think I shall be back by three o'clock,' he said to Clara, 'and then +we'll have our walk.' + +'I'll be ready; and you can call for me at Mr Askerton's. I must go +down there, and it will save you something in your walk to pick me up +at the cottage.' And so the arrangements for the day were made. + +Clara had promised that she would soon call at the cottage, and was, +indeed, rather anxious to see Mrs Askerton on her own account. What she +had heard from her cousin as to a certain Miss Vigo of old days had +interested her, and also what she had heard of a certain Mr Berdmore. +It had been evident to her that her cousin had thought little about it. +The likeness of the lady he then saw to the lady he had before known. +had at first struck him; but when he found that the two ladies were not +represented by one and the same person, he was satisfied, and there was +an end of the matter for him. But it was not so with Clara. Her +feminine mind dwelt on the matter with more earnestness than he had +cared to entertain, and her clearer intellect saw possibilities which +did not occur to him. But it was not till she found herself walking +across the park to the cottage that she remembered that any inquiries +as to her past life might be disagreeable to Mrs Askerton. She had +thought of asking her friend plainly whether the names of Vigo and +Berdmore had ever been familiar to her; but she reminded herself that +there had been rumours afloat, and that there might be a mystery. Mrs +Askerton would sometimes talk of her early life; but she would do this +with dreamy, indistinct language, speaking of the sorrows of her +girlhood, but not specifying their exact nature, seldom mentioning any +names, and never referring with clear personality to those who had been +nearest to her when she had been a child. Clara had seen her friend's +maiden name, Mary Oliphant, written in a book, and seeing it had +alluded to it. On that occasion Mrs Askerton had spoken of herself as +having been an Oliphant, and thus Clara had come to know the fact. But +now, as she made her way to the cottage, she remembered that she had +learned nothing more than this as to Mrs Askerton's early life. Such +being the case, she hardly knew how to ask any question about the two +names that had been mentioned. And yet, why should she not ask such a +question? Why should she doubt Mrs Askerton? And if she did doubt, why +should not her doubts be solved? + +She found Colonel Askerton and his wife together, and she certainly +would ask no such question in his presence. He was a slight built, wiry +man, about fifty, with iron-grey hair and beard who seemed to have no +trouble in life, and to desire but few pleasures. Nothing could be more +regular than the course of his days, and nothing more idle. He +breakfasted at eleven, smoked and read till the afternoon, when he rode +for an hour or two; then he dined, read again, smoked again, and went +to bed. In September and October he shot, and twice in the year, as has +been before stated, went away to seek a little excitement elsewhere. He +seemed to be quite contented with his lot, and was never heard to speak +an angry word with any one. Nobody cared for him much; but then he +troubled himself with no one's affairs. He never went to church, and +had not eaten or drank in any house but his own since he had come to +Belton. + +'Oh, Clara, you naughty girl,' said Mrs Askerton, 'why didn't you come +yesterday? I was expecting you all day.' + +'I was busy. Really, we've grown to be quite industrious people since +my cousin came.' + +'They tell me he's taking the land into his own hands,' said the +colonel. + +'Yes, indeed; and he is going to build sheds, and buy cattle; and I +don't know what he doesn't mean to do; so that we shall be alive again.' + +'I hope he won't want my shooting.' + +'He has shooting of his own in Norfolk,' said Clara. + +'Then he'll hardly care to come here for that purpose. When I heard of +his proceedings I began to be afraid.' + +'I don't think he would do anything to annoy you for the world,' said +Clara, enthusiastically. 'He's the most unselfish person I ever met.' + +'He'd have a perfect right to take the shooting if he liked it that is +always supposing that he and your father agreed about it.' + +'They agree about everything now. He has altogether disarmed papa's +prejudices, and it seems to be recognized that he is to have his own +way about the place. But I don't think he'll interfere about the +shooting.' + +'He won't, my dear, if you ask him not,' said Mrs Askerton. + +'I'll ask him in a moment if Colonel Askerton wishes it.' + +'Oh dear no,' said he. 'It would be teaching the ostler to grease the +horse's teeth. Perhaps he hasn't thought of it.' + +'He thinks of everything,' said Clara. + +'I wonder whether he's thinking of .' So far Mrs Askerton spoke, and +then she paused. Colonel Askerton looked up at Clara with an +ill-natured smile, and Clara felt that she blushed. Was it not cruel +that she could not say a word in favour of a friend and a cousin a +cousin who had promised to be a brother to her, without being treated +with such words and such looks as these? But she was determined not to +be put down. 'I'm quite sure of this,' she said, 'that my cousin would +do nothing unfair or ungentlemanlike.' + +'There would be nothing unfair or ungentlemanlike in it. I shouldn't +take it amiss at all but I should simply take up my bed and walk. Pray +tell him that I hope I shall have the pleasure of seeing him before he +goes. I did call yesterday, but he was out.' + +'He'll be here soon. He's to come here for me.' But Colonel Askerton's +horse was brought to the door, and he could not therefore wait to make +Mr Belton's acquaintance on that occasion. + +'What a phoenix this cousin of yours is,' said Mrs Askerton, as soon as +her husband was gone. + +'He is a splendid fellow he is indeed. There's so much life about him! +He's always doing something. He says that doing good will always pay in +the long run. Isn't that a fine doctrine?' + +'Quite a practical phoenix!' + +'It has done papa so much good! At this moment he's out somewhere, +thinking of what is going on, instead of moping in the house. He +couldn't bear the idea of Will's coming, and now he is already +beginning to complain because he's going away.' + +'Will, indeed!' + +'And why not Will? He's my cousin.' + +'Yes ten times removed. But so much the better if he's to be anything +more than a cousin.' + +'He is to be nothing more, Mrs Askerton.' + +'You're quite sure of that? + +'I am quite sure of it. And I cannot understand why there should be +such a suspicion because he and I are thrown closely together, and are +fond of each other. Whether he is a sixth, eighth, or tenth cousin +makes no difference. He is the nearest I have on that side; and since +my poor brother's death he is papa's heir. It is so natural that he +should be my friend and such a comfort that he should be such a friend +as he is! I own it seems cruel to me that under such circumstances +there should be any suspicion.' + +'Suspicion, my dear suspicion of what?' + +'Not that I care I or it. I am prepared to love him as if he were my +brother. I think him one of the finest creatures I ever knew perhaps +the finest I ever did know. His energy and good-nature together are +just the qualities to make the best kind of man. I am proud of him as +my friend and my cousin, and now you may suspect what you please.' + +'But, my dear, why should not he fall in love with you? It would be the +most proper, and also the most convenient thing in the world.' + +'I hate talking of falling in love as though a woman had nothing else +to think of whenever she sees a man.' + +'A woman has nothing else to think of.' + +'I have a great deal else. And so has he.' + +'It's quite out of the question on his part, then?' + +'Quite out of the question. I'm sure he likes me; I can see it in his +face, and hear it in his voice, and am so happy that it is so. But it +isn't in the way that you mean. Heaven knows that I may want a friend +some of these days, and I feel that I may trust to him. His feelings to +me will be always those of a brother.' + +'Perhaps so. I have seen that fraternal love before under similar +circumstances, and it has always ended in the same way.' + +'I hope it won't end in any way between us.' + +'But the joke is that this suspicion, as you call it which makes you so +indignant is simply a suggestion that a thing should happen which, of +all things in the world, would be the best for both of you.' + +'But the thing won't happen, and therefore let there be an end of it. I +hate the twaddle talk of love, whether it's about myself or about any +one else. It makes me feel ashamed of my sex, when I find that I cannot +talk of myself to another woman without being supposed to be either in +love or thinking of love cither looking for it or avoiding it. When it +comes, if it cornea prosperously, it's a very good thing. But I for one +can do without it, and I feel myself injured when such a state of +things is presumed to be impossible.' + +'It is worth any one's while to irritate you, because your indignation +is so beautiful.' + +'It is not beautiful to me; for I always feel ashamed afterwards of my +own energy. And now, if you please, we won't say anything more about Mr +Will Belton.' + +'May I not talk about him, even as the enterprising cousin? + +'Certainly; and in any other light you please. Do you know he seemed to +think that he had known you ever so many years ago.' Clara, as she said +this, did not look direct at her friend's face; but still she could +perceive that Mrs Askerton was disconcerted. There came a shade of +paleness over her face, and a look of trouble on her brow, and for a +moment or two she made no reply. + +'Did he?' she then said. 'And when was that?' + +'I suppose it was in London. But, after all, I believe it was not you, +but somebody whom he remembers to have been like you. He says that the +lady was a Miss Vigo.' As she pronounced the name, Clara turned her +face away, feeling instinctively that it would be kind to do so. + +'Miss Vigo!' said Mrs Askerton at once; and there was that in the tone +of her voice which made Clara feel that all was not right with her. 'I +remember that there were Miss Vigos; two of them, I think. I didn't +know that they were like me especially.' + +'And he says that the one he remembers married a Mr Berdmore.' + +'Married a Mr Berdmore!' The tone of voice was still the same, and +there was an evident struggle, as though the woman was making a +vehement effort to speak in her natural voice. Then Clara looked at +her, feeling that if she abstained from doing so, the very fact of her +so abstaining would be remarkable. There was the look of pain on Mrs +Askerton's brow, and her cheeks were still pale, but she smiled as she +went on speaking. 'I'm sure I'm flattered, for I remember that they +were both considered beauties. Did he know anything more of her? + +'No; nothing more.' + +'There must have been some casual likeness I suppose.' Mrs Askerton was +a clever woman, and had by this time almost recovered her +self-possession. Then there came a ring at the front door, and in +another minute Mr Belton was in the room. Mrs Askerton felt that it was +imperative on her to make some allusion to the conversation which had +just taken place, and dashed at the subject at once. 'Clara tells me +that I am exactly like some old friend of yours, Mr Belton.' + +Then he looked at her closely as he answered her. 'I have no right to +say that she was my friend, Mrs Askerton,' he said; 'indeed there was +hardly what might be called an acquaintance between us; but you +certainly are extremely like a certain Miss Vigo that I remember.' + +'I often wonder that one person isn't more often found to be like +another,' said Mrs Askerton. + +'People often are like,' said he, 'but not like in such a way as to +give rise to mistakes as to identity. Now, I should have stopped you in +the street and called you Mrs Berdmore.' + +'Didn't I once see or hear the name of Berdmore in this house?' asked +Clara. + +Then that look of pain returned. Mrs Askerton had succeeded in +recovering the usual tone of her countenance, but now she was once more +disturbed. 'I think I know the name,' said she. + +'I fancy that I have seen it in this house,' said Clara. 'You may more +likely have heard it, my dear. My memory is very poor, but if I +remember rightly, Colonel Askerton did know a Captain Berdmore a long +while ago, before he was married; and you may probably have heard him +mention the name.' This did not quite satisfy Clara, but she said +nothing more about it then. If there was a mystery which Mrs Askerton +did not wish to have explored, why should she explore it? + +Soon after this Clara got up to go, and Mrs Askerton, making another +attempt to be cheerful, was almost successful. So you're going back +into Norfolk on Saturday, Clara tells me. You are making a very short +visit now that you're come among us.' + +'It is a long time for me to be away from home. Farmers can hardly ever +dare to leave their work. But in spite of my farm, I am talking of +coming here again about Christmas.' + +'But you are going to have a farming establishment here too?' + +'That will be nothing. Clara will look after that for me; will you +not?' Then they went, and Belton had to consider how he would begin the +work before him. He had some idea that too much precipitancy might do +him an injury, but he hardly knew how to commence without coming to the +point at once. When they were out together in the park, he went back at +first to the subject of Mrs Askerton. + +'I would almost have sworn they were one and the same woman,' he said. + +'But you see that they are not.' + +'It's not only the likeness, but the voice. It so chanced that I once +saw that Miss Vigo in some trouble. I happened to meet her in company +with a man who was who was tipsy, in fact, and I had to relieve her.' + +'Dear me how disagreeable!' + +'It's a long time ago, and there can't be any harm in mentioning it +now. It was the man she was going to marry, and whom she did marry.' + +'What the Mr Berdmore?' + +'Yes; he was often in that way. And there was a look about Mrs Askerton +just now so like the look of that Miss Vigo then, that I cannot get rid +of the idea.' + +'They can't be the same, as she was certainly a Miss Oliphant. And you +hear, too, what she says.' + +'Yes I heard what she said. You have known her long?' + +'These two years.' + +'And intimately? + +'Very intimately. She is our only neighbour; and her being here has +certainly been a great comfort to me. It is sad not having some woman +near one that one can speak to and then, I really do like her very +much.' + +'No doubt it's all right.' + +'Yes; it's all right,' said Clara. After that there was nothing more +said about Mrs Askerton, and Belton began his work. They had gone from +the cottage, across the park, away from the house, up to a high rock +which stood boldly out of the ground, from whence could be seen the sea +on one side, and on the other a far track of country almost away to the +moors. And when they reached this spot they seated themselves. 'There,' +said Clara, 'I consider this to be the prettiest spot in England.' + +'I haven't seen all England,' said Belton. + +'Don't be so matter-of-fact, Will. I say it's the prettiest in England, +and you can't contradict me.' + +'And I say you're the prettiest girl in England, and you can't +contradict me.' + +This annoyed Clara, and almost made her feel that her paragon of a +cousin was not quite so perfect as she had represented him to be. 'I +see', she said, 'that if I talk nonsense I'm to be punished.' + +'Is it a punishment to you to know that I think you very handsome?' he +said, turning round and looking full into her face. + +'It is disagreeable to me very, to have any such subject talked about +at all. What would you think if I began to pay you foolish personal +compliments?' + +'What I say isn't foolish; and there's a great difference. Clara, I +love you better than all the world put together.' + +She now looked at him; but still she did not believe it. It could not +be that after all her boastings she should have made so gross a +blunder. 'I hope you do love me,' she said; 'indeed, you are bound to +do so, for you promised that you would be my brother.' + +'But that will not satisfy me now, Clara. Clara, I want to be your +husband.' + +'Will!' she exclaimed. + +'Now you know it all; and if I have been too sudden, I must beg your +pardon.' + +'Oh, Will, forget that you have said this. Do not go on until +everything must be over between us.' + +'Why should anything be over between us? Why should it be wrong in me +to love you?' + +'What will papa say?' + +'Mr Amedroz knows all about it already, and has given me his consent. I +asked him directly I had made up my own mind, and he told me that I +might go to you.' + +'You have asked papa? Oh dear, oh dear, what am I to do?' + +'Am I so odious to you then?' As he said this he got up from his seat +and stood before her. He was a tall, well-built, handsome man, and he +could assume a look and mien that were almost noble when he was moved +as he was moved now. + +'Odious! Do you not know that I have loved you as my cousin that I have +already learned to trust you as though you were really my brother? But +this breaks it all.' + +'You cannot love me then as my wife?' + +'No.' She pronounced the monosyllable alone, and then he walked away +from her as though that one little word settled the question for him, +now and for ever. He walked away from her, perhaps a distance of two +hundred yards, as though the interview was over, and he were leaving +her. She, as she saw him go, wished that he would return that she might +say some word of comfort to him. Not that she could have said the only +word that would have comforted him. At the first blush of the thing, at +the first sound of the address which he had made to her, she had been +angry with him. He had disappointed her, and she was indignant. But her +anger had already melted and turned itself to ruth. She could not but +love him better, in that he had loved her so well; but yet she could +not love him with the love which he desired. + +But he did not leave her. When he had gone from her down the hill the +distance that has been named, he turned back and came up to her slowly. +He had a trick of standing and walking with his thumbs fixed into the +armholes of his waistcoat, while his large hands rested on his breast. +He would always assume this attitude when he was assured that he was +right in his views, and was eager to carry some point at issue. Clara +already understood that this attitude signified his intention to be +autocratic. He now came close up to her and again stood over her, +before he spoke. 'My dear,' he said, 'I have been rough and hasty in +what I have said to you, and I have to ask you to pardon my want of +manners.' + +'No, no, no,' she exclaimed. + +'But in a matter of so much interest to us both you will not let an +awkward manner prejudice me.' + +'It is not that; indeed, it is not.' + +'Listen to me, dearest. It is true that I promised to be your brother, +and I will not break my word unless I break it by your own sanction. I +did promise to be your brother, but I did not know then how fondly I +should come to love you. Your father, when I told him of this, bade me +not to be hasty; but I am hasty, and I haven't known how to wait. Tell +me that I may come at Christmas for my answer, and I will not say a +word to trouble you till then. I will be your brother, at any rate till +Christmas.' + +'Be my brother always.' + +A black cloud crossed his brow as this request reached his ears. She +was looking anxiously into his face, watching every turn in the +expression of his countenance. 'Will you not let it wait till +Christmas?' he asked. + +She thought it would be cruel to refuse this request, and yet she knew +that no such waiting could be of service to him. He had been awkward in +his love-making, and was aware of it. He should have contrived this +period of waiting for himself; giving her no option but to wait and +think of it. He should have made no proposal, but have left her certain +that such proposal was coming. In such case she must have waited and if +good could have come to him from that, he might have received it. But, +as the question was now presented to her, it was impossible that she +should consent to wait. To have given such consent would have been +tantamount to receiving him as her lover. She was therefore forced to +be cruel. + +'It will be of no avail to postpone my answer when I know what it must +be. Why should there be suspense?' + + +'You mean that it is impossible that you should love me?' + +'Not in that way, Will.' + +'And why not?' Then there was a pause. 'But I am a fool to ask such a +question as that, and I should be worse than a fool were I to press it. +It must then be considered as settled?' + +She got up and clung to his arm. 'Oh, Will, do not look at me like that! + +'It must then be considered as settled?' he repeated. + +'Yes, Will, yes. Pray consider it as settled.' He then sat down on the +rock again, and she came and sat by him near to him, but not close as +she had been before. She turned her eyes upon him, gazing on him, but +did not speak to him; and he sat also without speaking for a while, +with his eyes fixed upon the ground. 'I suppose we may go back to the +house?' he said at last. + +'Give me your hand, Will, and tell me that you will still love me as +your sister.' + +He gave her his hand. 'If you ever want a brother's care you shall have +it from me,' he said. + +'But not a brother's love?' + +'No. How can the two go together? I shan't cease to love you because my +love is in vain. Instead of making me happy it will make me wretched. +That will be the only difference.' + +'I would give my life to make you happy, if that were possible.' + +'You will not give me your life in the way that I would have it.' + +After that they walked in silence back to the house, and when he had +opened the front door for her, he parted from her and stood alone under +the porch, thinking of his misfortune. + + +CHAPTER VI + +SAFE AGAINST LOVE-MAKING ONCE AGAIN + +For a considerable time Belton stood under the porch of the house, +thinking of what had happened to him, and endeavouring to steady +himself under the blow which he had received. I do not know that he had +been sanguine of success. Probably he had made to himself no assurances +on the subject. But he was a man to whom failure, of itself, was +intolerable. In any other event of life he would have told himself that +he would not fail that he would persevere and conquer. He could imagine +no other position as to which he could at once have been assured of +failure, in any project on which he had set his heart. But as to this +project it was so. He had been told that she could not love him that +she could never love him and he had believed her. He had made his +attempt and had failed; and, as he thought of this, standing under the +porch, he became convinced that life for him was altogether changed, +and that he who had been so happy must now be a wretched man. + +He was still standing there when Mr Amedroz came down into the hall, +dressed for dinner, and saw his figure through the open doors. 'Will,' +he said, coming up to him, 'it only wants five minutes to dinner.' +Belton started and shook himself, as though he were shaking off a +lethargy, and declared that he was quite ready. Then he remembered that +he would be expected to dress, and rushed upstairs, three steps at a +time, to his own room. When he came down, Clara and her father were +already in the dining-room, and he joined them there. + +Mr Amedroz, though he was not very quick in reading facts from the +manners of those with whom he lived, had felt assured that things had +gone wrong between Belton and his daughter. He had not as yet had a +minute in which to speak to Clara, but he was certain that it was so. +Indeed, it was impossible not to read terrible disappointment and deep +grief in the young man's manner. He made no attempt to conceal it, +though he did not speak of it. Through the whole evening, though he was +alone for a while with the squire, and alone also for a time with +Clara, he never mentioned or alluded to the subject of his rejection. +But he bore himself as though he knew and they knew as though all the +world knew that he had been rejected. And yet he did not remain silent. +He talked of his property and of his plans, and explained how things +were to be done in his absence. Once only was there something like an +allusion made to his sorrow. 'But you will be here at Christmas?' said +Mr Amedroz, in answer to something which Belton had said as to work to +be done in his absence. 'I do not know how that may be now,' said +Belton. And then they had all been silent. + +It was a terrible evening to Clara. She endeavoured to talk, but found +it to be impossible. All the brightness of the last few days had +disappeared, and the world seemed to her to be more sad and solemn than +ever. She had no idea when she was refusing him that he would have +taken it to heart as he had done. The question had come before her for +decision so suddenly, that she had not, in fact, had time to think of +this as she was making her answer. All she had done was to feel that +she could not be to him what he wished her to be. And even as yet she +had hardly asked herself why she must be so steadfast in her refusal. +But she had refused him steadfastly, and she did not for a moment think +of reducing the earnestness of her resolution. It seemed to be manifest +to her, from his present manner, that he would never ask the question +again; but she was sure, let it be asked ever so often, that it could +not be answered in any other way. + +Mr Amedroz, not knowing why it was so, became cross and querulous, and +scolded his daughter. To Belton, also, he was captious, making little +difficulties, and answering him with petulance. This the rejected lover +took with most extreme patience, as though such a trifling annoyance +had no effect in adding anything to his misery. He still held his +purpose of going on the Saturday, and was still intent on work which +was to be done before he went; but it seemed that he was satisfied to +do everything now as a duty, and that the enjoyment of the thing, which +had heretofore been so conspicuous, was over. + +At last they separated, and Clara, as was her wont, went up to her +father's room. 'Papa,' she said, 'what is all this about Mr Belton?' + +'All what, my dear? what do you mean?' + +'He has asked me to be to be his wife; and has told me that he came +with your consent.' + +'And why shouldn't he have my consent? What is there amiss with him? +Why shouldn't you marry him if he likes you? You seemed, I thought, to +be very fond of him.' + +This surprised Clara more than anything. She could hardly have told +herself why, but she would have thought that such a proposition from +her cousin would have made her father angry unreasonably angry angry +with him for presuming to have such an idea; but now it seemed that he +was going to be angry with her for not accepting her cousin out of hand. + +'Yes, papa; I am fond of him; but not like that. I did not expect that +he would think of me in that way.' + +'But why shouldn't he think of you? It would be a very good marriage +for you, as far as money is concerned.' + +'You would not have me marry any one for that reason would you, papa?' + +'But you seemed to like him. Well; of course I can't make you like him. +I meant to do for the best; and when he came to me as he did, I thought +he was behaving very handsomely, and very much like a gentleman.' + +'I am sure he would do that.' + +'And if I could have thought that this place would be your home when I +am gone, it would have made me very happy very happy.' + +She now came and stood close to him and took his hand. 'I hope, papa, +you do not make yourself uneasy about me. I shall do very well. Fm sure +you can't want me to go away and leave you.' + +'How will you do very well? I'm sure I don't know. And if your aunt +Winterfield means to provide for you, it would only be kind in her to +let me know it, so that I might not have the anxiety always on my mind.' + +Clara knew well enough what was to be the disposition of her aunt's +property, but she could not tell her father of that now. She almost +felt that it was her duty to do so, but she could not bring herself to +do it. She could only beg him not to be anxious on her behalf, making +vague assurances that she would do very well. 'And are you determined +not to change your mind about Will?' he said at last. + +'I shall not change my mind about that, papa, certainly,' she answered. +Then he turned away from her, and she saw that he was displeased. + +When alone, she was forced to ask herself why it was that she was so +certain. Alas! there could in truth be no doubt on that subject in her +own mind. When she sat down, resolved to give herself an answer, there +was no doubt. She could not love her cousin, Will Belton, because her +heart belonged to Captain Aylmer. + +But she knew that she had received nothing in exchange for her heart. +He had been kind to her on that journey to Taunton, when the agony +arising from her brother's death had almost crushed her. He had often +been kind to her on days before that so kind, so soft in his manners, +approaching so nearly to the little tenderness of incipient +love-making, that the idea of regarding him as her lover had of +necessity forced itself upon her. But in nothing had he gone beyond +those tendernesses, which need not imperatively be made to mean +anything, though they do often mean so much. It was now two years since +she had first thought that Captain Aylmer was the most perfect +gentleman she knew, and nearly two years since Mrs Winterfield had +expressed to her a hope that Captain Aylmer might become her husband. +She had replied that such a thing was impossible as any girl would have +replied; and had in consequence treated Captain Aylmer with all the +coolness which she had been able to assume whenever she was in company +with him in her aunt's presence. Nor was it natural to her to be +specially gracious to a man under such trying circumstances, even when +no Mrs Winterfield was there to behold. And so things had gone on. +Captain Aylmer had now and again made himself very pleasant to her at +certain trying periods of joy or trouble almost more than pleasant. But +nothing had come of it, and Clara had told herself that Captain Aylmer +had no special feeling in her favour. She had told herself this, ever +since that journey together from Perivale to Taunton; but never till +now had she confessed to herself what was her own case. + +She made a comparison between the two men. Her cousin Will was, she +thought, the more generous, the more energetic perhaps by nature, the +man of the higher gifts. In person he was undoubtedly the superior. He +was full of noble qualities forgetful of self, industrious, full of +resources, a very man of men, able to command, eager in doing work for +others' good and his own a man altogether uncontaminated by the +coldness and selfishness of the outer world. But he was rough, awkward, +but indifferently educated, and with few of those tastes which to Clara +Amedroz were delightful. He could not read poetry to her, he could not +tell her of what the world of literature was doing now or of what it +had done in times past. He knew nothing of the inner world of worlds +which governs the world. She doubted whether he could have told her who +composed the existing cabinet, or have given the name of a single +bishop beyond the see in which his own parish was situated. But Captain +Aylmer knew everybody, and had read everything, and understood, as +though by instinct, all the movements of the world in which he lived. + +But what mattered any such comparison? Even though she should be able +to prove to herself beyond the shadow of a doubt that her cousin Will +was of the two the fitter to be loved the one more worthy of her heart +no such proof could alter her position. Love does not go by worth. She +did not love her cousin as she must love any man to whom she could give +her hand and, alas! she did love that other man. + +On this night I doubt whether Belton did slumber with that solidity of +repose which was usual to him. At any rate, before he came down in the +morning he had found time for sufficient thought, and had brought +himself to a resolution. He would not give up the battle as lost. To +his thinking there was something weak and almost mean in abandoning any +project which he had set before himself. He had been awkward, and he +exaggerated to himself his own awkwardness. He had been hasty, and had +gone about his task with inconsiderate precipitancy. It might be that +he had thus destroyed all his chance of success. But, as he said to +himself, 'he would never say die, as long as there was a puff of breath +left in him.' He would not mope, and hang down his head, and wear the +willow. Such a state of things would ill suit either the roughness or +the readiness of his life. No! He would bear Like a man the +disappointment which had on this occasion befallen him, and would +return at Christmas and once more try his fortune. + +At breakfast, therefore, the cloud had passed from his brow. When he +came in he found Clara alone in the room, and he simply shook hands +with her after his ordinary fashion. He said nothing of yesterday, and +almost succeeded in looking as though yesterday had been in no wise +memorable. She was not so much at her ease, but she also received some +comfort from his demeanour. Mr Amedroz came down almost immediately, +and Belton soon took an opportunity of saying that he would be back at +Christmas if Mr Amedroz would receive him. + +'Certainly,' said the squire. 'I thought it had been all settled.' + +'So it was till I said a word yesterday which foolishly seemed to +unsettle it. But I have thought it over again, and I find that I can +manage it.' + +'We shall be so glad to have you!' said Clara. + +'And I shall be equally glad to come. They are already at work, sir, +about the sheds.' + +'Yes; I saw the carts full of bricks go by,' said the squire, +querulously. 'I didn't know there was to be any brickwork. You said you +would have it made of deal slabs with oak posts.' + +'You must have a foundation, sir. I propose to carry the brickwork a +foot and a half above the ground.' + +'I suppose you know best. Only that kind of thing is so very ugly.' + +'If you find it to be ugly after it is done, it shall be pulled down +again.' + +'No it can never come down again.' + +'It can and it shall, if you don't like it. I never think anything of +changes like that.' + +'I think they'll be very pretty!' said Clara. + +'I dare say,' said the squire,' but at any rate it won't make much +difference to me. I shan't be here long to see them.' + +This was rather melancholy; but Belton bore up even against this, +speaking cheery words and expressing bright hopes so that it seemed, +both to Clara and her father, that he had in a great measure overcome +the disappointment of the preceding day. It was probable that he was a +man not prone to be deeply sensitive in such matters for any long +period. The period now had certainly not been long, and yet Will Belton +was alive again. + +Immediately after breakfast there occurred a little incident which was +not without its effect upon them all. There came up on the drive +immediately before the front door, under the custody of a boy, a cow. +It was an Alderney cow, and any man or woman at all understanding cows +would at once have perceived that this cow was perfect in her kind. Her +eyes were mild, and soft, and bright. Her legs were like the legs of a +deer; and in her whole gait and demeanour she almost gave the lie to +her own name, asserting herself to have sprung from some more noble +origin among the woods, than maybe supposed to be the origin of the +ordinary domestic cow a useful animal, but heavy in its appearance, and +seen with more pleasure at some little distance than at close quarters. +But this cow was graceful in its movements, and almost tempted one to +regard her as the far-off descendant of the elk or the antelope. + +'What's that?' said Mr Amedroz, who, having no cows of his own, was not +pleased to see one brought up in that way before his hail door. +'There's somebody's cow come here.' + +Clara understood it in a moment; but she was pained, and said nothing. +Had the cow come without any such scene as that of yesterday, she would +have welcomed the animal with all cordiality, and would have sworn to +her cousin that the cow should be cherished for his sake. But after +what had passed it was different. How was she to take any present from +him now? + +But Belton faced the difficulty without any bashfulness or apparent +regret. 'I told you I would give you a cow,' said he 'and here she is.' + +'What can she want with a cow?' said Mr Amedroz. + +'I am sure she wants one very much. At any rate she won't refuse the +present from me; will you, Clara?' + +What could she say? 'Not if papa will allow me to keep it.' + +'But we've no place to put it!' said the squire. 'We haven't got grass +for it!' + +'There's plenty of grass,' said Belton. 'Come, Mr Amedroz; I've made a +point of getting this little creature for Clara, and you mustn't stand +in the way of my gratification.' Of course he was successful, and of +course Clara thanked him with tears in her eyes. + +The next two days passed by without anything special to mark them, and +then the cousin was to go. During the period of his visit he did not +see Colonel Askerton, nor did he again see Mrs Askerton. He went to the +cottage once, with the special object of returning the colonel's call; +but the master was out, and he was not specially invited in to see the +mistress. He said nothing more to Clara about her friends, but he +thought of the matter more than once, as he was going about the place, +and became aware that he would like to ascertain whether there was a +mystery, and if so, what was its nature. He knew that he did not like +Mrs Askerton, and he felt also that Mrs Askerton did not like him. This +was, as he thought, unfortunate; for might it not be the case, that in +the one matter which was to him of so much importance, Mrs Askerton +might have considerable influence over Clara? + +During these days nothing special was said between him and Clara. The +last evening passed over without anything to brighten it or to make it +memorable. Mr Amedroz, in his passive, but gently querulous way, was +sorry that Belton was going to leave him, as his cousin had been the +creation of some new excitement for him, but he said nothing on the +subject; and when the time for going to bed had come, he bade his guest +farewell with some languid allusion to the pleasure which he would have +in seeing him again at Christmas. Belton was to start very early in the +morning before six, and of course he was prepared to take leave also of +Clara. But she told him very gently, so gently that her father did not +hear it, that she would be up to give him a cup of coffee before he +went. + +'Oh no,' he said. + +'But I shall. I won't have you go without seeing you out of the door.' + +And on the following morning she was up before him. She hardly +understood, herself, why she was doing this. She knew that it should be +her object to avoid any further special conversation on that subject +which they discussed up among the rocks. She knew that she could give +him no comfort, and that he could give none to her. It would seem that +he was willing to let the remembrance of the scene pass away, so that +it should be as though it had never been; and surely it was not for her +to disturb so salutary an arrangement! But yet she was up to bid him +God speed as he went. She could not bear,. so she excused the matter to +herself she could not bear to think that he should regard her as +ungrateful. She knew all that he had done for them. She had perceived +that the taking of the land, the building of the sheds, the life which +he had contrived in so short a time to throw into the old place, had +all come from a desire on his part to do good to those in whose way he +stood by family arrangements made almost before his birth; and she +longed to say to him one word of thanks. And had he not told her once +in the heat of his disappointment; for then at that moment, as Clara +had said to herself, she supposed that he must have been in some +measure disappointed had he not even then told her that when she wanted +a brother's care, a brother's care should be given to her by him? Was +she not therefore~ bound to do for him what she would do for a brother? + +She, with her own hands, brought the coffee into the little breakfast +parlour, and handed the cup into his hands. The gig, which had come +overnight from Taunton, was not yet at the door, and there was a minute +or two during which they must speak to each other. Who has not seen +some such girl when she has come down early, without the full +completeness of her morning toilet, and yet nicer, fresher, prettier to +the eye of him who is so favoured, than she has ever been in more +formal attire? And what man who has been so favoured has not loved her +who has so favoured him, even though he may not previously have been +enamoured as deeply as poor Will Belton? + +'This is so good of you,' he said. + +'I wish I knew how to be good to you,' she answered not meaning to +trench upon dangerous ground, but feeling, as the words came from her, +that she had done so. 'You have been so good to us, so very good to +papa, that we owe you everything. I am so grateful to you for saying +that you will come back at Christmas.' + +He had resolved that he would refrain from further love-making till the +winter; but he found it very hard to refrain when so addressed. To take +her in his arms, and kiss her twenty times, and swear that he would +never let her go to claim her at once savagely as his own, that was the +line of conduct to which temptation prompted him. How could she look at +him so sweetly, how could she stand before him, ministering to him with +all her pretty maidenly charms brought so close to him, without +intending that he should love her? But he did refrain. 'Blood is +thicker than water,' said he. 'That's the real reason why I first came.' + +'I understand that quite, and it is that feeling that makes you so +good. But I'm afraid you are spending a great deal of money here and +all for our sakes.' + +'Not at all. I shall get my money back again. And if I didn't, what +then? I've plenty of money. it is not money that I want.' + +She could not ask him what it was that he did want, and she was obliged +therefore to begin again. 'Papa will look forward so to the winter now.' + +'And so shall I.' + +'But you must come for longer then you won't go away at the end of a +week? Say that you won't.' + +'I'll see about it. I can't tell quite yet. You'll write me a line to +say when the shed is finished, won't you?' + +'That I will, and I'll tell you how Bessy goes on.' Bessy was the cow. +'I will be so very fond of her. She'll come to me for apples already.' + +Belton thought that he would go to her, wherever she might be, even if +he were to get no apples. 'It's all cupboard love with them,' he said. +'I'll tell you what I'll do when I come, I'll bring you a dog that will +follow you without thinking of apples.' Then the gig was heard on the +gravel before the door, and Belton was forced to go. For a moment he +reflected whether, as her cousin, it was not his duty to kiss her. It +was a matter as to which he had doubt as is the case with many male +cousins; but ultimately he resolved that if he kissed her at all he +would not kiss her in that light, and so he again refrained. 'Goodbye,' +he said, putting out his great hand to her. + +'Good-bye, Will, and God bless you.' I almost think he might have +kissed her, asking himself no questions as to the light in which it was +done. + +As he turned from her he saw the tears in her eyes; and as he sat in +the gig, thinking of them, other tears came into his own. By heaven, he +would have her yet! He was a man who had not read much of romance. To +him all the imagined mysteries of passion had not been made common by +the perusal of legions of love stories but still he knew enough of the +game to be aware that women had been won in spite, as it were, of their +own teeth. He knew that he could not now run away with her, taking her +off by force; but still he might conquer her will by his own. As he +remembered the tears in her eyes, and the tone of her voice, and the +pressure of her hand, and the gratitude that had become tender in its +expression, he could not hut think that he would be wise to love her +still. Wise or foolish, he did love her still; and it should not be +owing to fault of his if she did not become his wife. As he drove along +he saw little of the Quantock hills, little of the rich Somersetshire +pastures, little of the early beauty of the August morning. He saw +nothing but her eyes, moistened with bright tears, and before he +reached Taunton he had rebuked himself with many revilings in that he +had parted from her and not kissed her. + +Clara stood at the door watching the gig till it was out of sight +watching it as well as her tears would allow. What a grand cousin he +was! Had it not been a pity a thousand pities that that grievous +episode should have come to mar the brotherly love, the sisterly +confidence, which might otherwise have been so perfect between them? +But perhaps it might all be well yet. Clara knew, or thought that she +knew, that men and women differed in their appreciation of love. She, +having once loved, could not change. Of that she was sure. Her love +might be fortunate or unfortunate. It might be returned, or it might +simply be her own, to destroy all hope of happiness for her on earth. +But whether it were this or that, whether productive of good or evil, +the love itself could not be changed. But with men she thought it might +be different. Her cousin, doubtless, had been sincere in the full +sincerity of his heart when he made his offer. And had she accepted it +had she been able to accept it she believed that he would have loved +her truly and constantly. Such was his nature. But she also believed +that love with him, unrequited love, would have no enduring effect, and +that he had already resolved, with equal courage and wisdom, to tread +this short-lived passion out beneath his feet. One night had sufficed +to him for that treading out. As she thought of this the tears ran +plentifully down her cheek; and going again to her room she remained +there crying till it was time for her to wipe away the marks of her +weeping, that she might go to her father. + +But she was very glad that Will bore it so well very glad! Her cousin +was safe against love-making once again. + + +CHAPTER VII + +MISS AMEDROZ GOES TO PERIVALE + +It had been settled for some time past that Miss Amedroz was to go to +Perivale for a few days in November. Indeed it seemed to be a +recognized fact in her life that she was to make the journey from +Belton to Perivale and back very often, as there prevailed an idea that +she owed a divided duty. This was in some degree hard upon her, as she +had very little gratification in these visits to her aunt. Had there +been any intention on the part of Mrs Winterfield to provide for her, +the thing would have been intelligible according to the usual +arrangements which are made in the world on such matters; but Mrs +Winterfield had scarcely a right to call upon her niece for dutiful +attendance after having settled it with her own conscience that her +property was all to go to her nephew. But Clara entertained no thought +of rebelling, and had agreed to make the accustomed journey in +November, travelling then, as she did on all such journeys, at her +aunt's expense. + +Two things only occurred to disturb her tranquillity before she went, +and they were not of much violence. Mr Wright, the clergyman, called at +Belton Castle, and in the course of conversation with Mr Amedroz +renewed one of those ill-natured rumours which had before been spread +about Mrs Askerton. Clara did not see him, but she heard an account of +it all from her father. + +'Does it mean, papa,' she said, speaking almost with anger, 'that you +want me to give up Mrs Askerton?' + +'How can you be so unkind as to ask me such a question?' he replied. +'You know how I hate to be bothered. I tell you what I hear, and then +you can decide for yourself.' + +'But that isn't quite fair either, papa. That man comes here' + +'That man, as you call him, is the rector of the parish, and I've known +him for forty years.' + +'And have never liked him, papa.' + +'I don't know much about liking anybody, my dear. Nobody likes me, and +so why should I trouble myself?' + +'But, papa, it all amounts to this that somebody has said that the +Askertons are not Askertons at all, but ought to be called something +else. Now we know that he served as Captain and Major Askerton for +seven years in India and in fact it all means nothing. If I know +anything, I know that he is Colonel Askerton.' + +'But do you know that she is his wife? That is what Mr Wright asks. I +don't say anything. I think it's very indelicate talking about such +things.' + +'If I am asked whether I have seen her marriage certificate, certainly +I have not; nor probably did you ever do so as to any lady that you +ever knew. But I know that she is her husband's wife, as we all of us +know things of that sort. I know she was in India with him. I've seen +things of hers marked with her name that she has had at least ten +years.' + +'I don't know anything about it, my dear,' said Mr Amedroz, angrily. + +'But Mr Wright ought to know something about it before he says such +things. And then this that he's saying now isn't the same that he said +before.' + +'I don't know what he said before.' + +'He said they were both of them using a feigned name.' + +'It's nothing to me what name they use. I know I wish they hadn't come +here, if I'm to be troubled about them in this way first by Wright and +then by you.' + +'They have been very good tenants, papa.' + +'You needn't tell me that, Clara, and remind me about the shooting when +you know how unhappy it makes me.' + +After this Clara said nothing more, and simply determined that Mr +Wright and his gossip should have no effect upon her intimacy with Mrs +Askerton. But not the less did she continue to remember what her cousin +had said about Miss Vigo. + +And she had been ruffled a second time by certain observations which +Mrs Askerton made to her respecting her cousin or rather by little +words which were dropped on various occasions. It was very clear that +Mrs Askerton did not like Mr Belton, and that she wished to prejudice +Clara against him. 'It's a pity he shouldn't be a lover of yours,' the +lady said, 'because it would be such a fine instance of Beauty and the +Beast.' It will of course be understood that Mrs Askerton had never +been told of the offer that had been made. + +'You don't mean to say that he's not a handsome man,' said Clara. + +'I never observe whether a man is handsome or not; but I can see very +well whether he knows what to do with his arms and legs, or whether he +has the proper use of his voice before ladies.' Clara remembered a word +or two spoken by her cousin to herself, in speaking which he had seemed +to have a very proper use of his voice. 'I know when a man is at ease +like a gentleman, and when he is awkward like a' + +'Like a what?' said Clara. 'Finish what you've got to say.' + +'Like a ploughboy, I was going to say,' said Mrs Askerton. + +'I declare I think you have a spite against him, because he said you +were like some Miss Vigo,' replied Clara, sharply. Mrs Askerton was on +that occasion silenced, and she said nothing more about Mr Belton till +after Clara had returned from Perivale. + +The journey itself from Belton to Perivale was always a nuisance, and +was more so now than usual, as it was made in the disagreeable month of +November. There was kept at the little inn at Redicote an old fly-so +called which habitually made the journey to the Taunton +railway-station, under the conduct of an old grey horse and an older +and greyer driver, whenever any of the old ladies of the neighbourhood +were minded to leave their homes. This vehicle usually travelled at the +rate of five miles an hour; but the old grey driver was never content +to have time allowed to him for the transit calculated upon such a rate +of speed. Accidents might happen, and why should he be made, as he +would plaintively ask, to drive the poor beast out of its skin? He was +consequently always at Belton a full hour before the time, and though +Clara was well aware of all this, she could not help herself. Her +father was fussy and impatient, the man was fussy and impatient; and +there was nothing for her but to go. On the present occasion she was +taken off in this way the full sixty minutes too soon, and after four +dreary hours spent upon the road, found herself landed at the Taunton +station, with a terrible gulf of time to be passed before she could +again proceed on her journey. + +One little accident had occurred to her. The old horse, while trotting +leisurely along the level high road, had contrived to tumble down. +Clara did not think very much of this, as the same thing had happened +with her before; but, even with an hour or more to spare, there arises +a question whether under such circumstances the train can be saved. But +the grey old man reassured her. 'Now, miss,' said he, coming to the +window, while he left his horse recumbent and apparently comfortable on +the road, 'where'd you have been now, zure, if I hadn't a few minutes +in hand for you?' Then he walked off to some neighbouring cottage, and +having obtained assistance, succeeded in putting his beast again upon +his legs. After that he looked once more in at the window. 'Who's right +now, I wonder?' he said, with an air of triumph. And when he came to +her for his guerdon at Taunton, he was evidently cross in not having it +increased because of the accident. + +That hour at the Taunton station was terrible to her. I know of no +hours more terrible than those so passed. The minutes will not go away, +and utterly fail in making good their claim to be called winged. A man +walks up and down the platform, and in that way obtains something of +the advantage of exercise; but a woman finds herself bound to sit still +within the dreary dullness of the waiting- room. There are, perhaps, +people who under such circumstances can read, but they are few in +number. The mind altogether declines to be active, whereas the body is +seized by a spirit of restlessness to which delay and tranquillity are +loathsome. The advertisements on the walls are examined, the map of +some new Eden is studied some Eden in which an irregular pond and a +church are surrounded by a multiplicity of regular villas and shrubs +till the student feels that no consideration of health or economy would +induce him to live there. Then the porters come in and out, till each +porter has made himself odious to the sight. Everything is hideous, +dirty, and disagreeable; and the mind wanders away, to consider why +station-masters do not more frequently commit suicide. Clara Amedroz +had already got beyond this stage, and was beginning to think of +herself rather than of the station-master, when at last there sounded, +close to her ears, the bell of promise, and she knew that the train was +at hand. + +At Taunton there branched away from the main line that line which was +to take her to Perivale, and therefore she was able to take her own +place quietly in the carriage when she found that the down- train from +London was at hand. This she did, and could then watch with equanimity, +while the travellers from the other train went through the penance of +changing their seats. But she had not been so watching for many seconds +when she saw Captain Frederic Aylmer appear upon the platform. +Immediately she sank back into her corner and watched no more. Of +course he was going to Perivale; but why had not her aunt told her that +she was to meet him? Of course she would be staying in the same house +with him, and her present small attempt to avoid him would thus be +futile. The attempt was made; but nevertheless she was probably pleased +when she found that it was made in vain. He came at once to the +carriage in which she was sitting, and had packed his coats, and +dressing-bag, and desk about the carriage before he had discovered who +was his fellow-traveller 'How do you do, Captain Aylmer?' she said, as +he was about to take his seat. + +'Miss Amedroz! Dear me; how very odd! I had not the slightest +expectation of meeting you here. The pleasure is of course the greater.' + +'Nor I of seeing you. Mrs Winterfield has not mentioned to me that you +were coming to Perivale.' + +'I didn't know it myself till the day before yesterday. I'm going to +give an account of my stewardship to the good-natured Perivalians who +sent me to Parliament. I'm to dine with the Mayor tomorrow, and as some +big-wig has come in his way who is going to dine with him also, the +thing has been got up in a hurry. But I'm delighted to find that you +are to be with us.' + +'I generally go to my aunt about this time of the year.' + +'It is very good-natured of you.' Then he asked after her father, and +she told him of Mr Belton's visit, telling him nothing as the reader +will hardly require to be told of Mr Belton's offer. And so, by +degrees, they fell into close and intimate conversation. + +'I am so glad, for your, father's sake!' said the captain, with +sympathetic voice, speaking still of Mr Belton's visit. + + + +'That's what I feel, of course.' + +'I is just as it should be, as he stands in that position to the +property. And so he is a nice sort of fellow, is he? + + + +'Nice is no word for him. He is perfect!' + +'Dear me! This is terrible! You remember that they hated some old Greek +patriot when they could find no fault in him?' + +'I'll defy you to hate my cousin Will.' + +'What sort of looking man is he?' + +'Extremely handsome at least I should say so.' + +'Then I certainly must hate him. And clever?' + +'Well not what you would call clever. He is very clever about fields +and cattle.' + +'Come, there is some relief in that.' + +'But you must not mistake me. He is clever; and then there's a way +about him of doing everything just as he likes it, which is wonderful. +You feel quite sure that he'll become master of everything.' + +'But I do not feel at all sure that I should like him better for that + +'But he doesn't meddle in things that he doesn't understand. And then +he is so generous! His spending all that money down there is only done +because he thinks it will make the place pleasanter to papa.' + +'Has he got plenty of money?' + +'Oh, plenty! At least, I think so. He says that he has.' + +'The idea of any man owning that he had got plenty of money! What a +happy mortal! And then to be handsome, and omnipotent, and to +understand cattle and fields! One would strive to emulate him rather +than envy him, had not one learned to acknowledge that it is not given +to every one to get to Corinth.' + +'You may laugh at him, but you'd like him if you knew him.' + +'One never can be sure of that from a lady's account of a man. When a +man talks to me about another man, I can generally tell whether I +should like him or not particularly if I know the man well who is +giving the description; but it is quite different when a woman is the +describer.' + +'You mean that you won't take my word?' + +'We see with different eyes in such matters. I have no doubt your +cousin is a worthy man and as prosperous a gentleman as the Thane of +Cawdor in his prosperous days but probably if he and I came together we +shouldn't have a word to say to each other.' + +Clara almost hated Captain Aylmer for speaking as he did, and yet she +knew that it was true. Will Belton was not an educated man, and were +they two to meet in her presence the captain and the farmer she felt +that she might have to blush for her cousin. But yet he was the better +man of the two. She knew that he was the better man of the two, though +she knew also that she could not love him as she loved the other. + +Then they changed the subject of their conversation, and discussed Mrs +Winterfield, as they had often done before. Captain Aylmer had said +that he should return to London on the Saturday, the present day being +Tuesday, and Clara accused him of escaping always from the real hard +work of his position. 'I observe that you never stay a Sunday at +Perivale,' she said. + +'Well not often. Why should I? Sunday is just the day that people like +to be at home.' + +'I should have thought it would not have made much difference to a +bachelor in that way.' + +'But Sunday is a day that one specially likes to pass after one's own +fashion.' + +'Exactly and therefore you don't stay with my aunt. I understand it all +completely.' + +'Now you mean to be ill-natured!' + +'I mean to say that I don't like Sundays at Perivale at all, and that I +should do just as you do if I had the power. But women women, that is, +of my age are such slaves! We are forced to give an obedience for which +we can see no cause, and for which we can understand no necessity. I +couldn't tell my aunt that I meant to go away on Saturday.' + +'You have no business which makes imperative calls upon your time.' + +'That means that I can't plead pretended excuses. But the true reason +is that we are dependent.' + +'There is something in that, I suppose.' + +'Not that I am dependent on her. But my position generally is +dependent, and I cannot assist myself.' + +Captain Aylmer found it difficult to make any answer to this, feeling +the subject to be one which could hardly be discussed between him and +Miss Amedroz. He not unnaturally looked to be the heir of his aunt's +property, and any provision made out of that property for Clara would +so far lessen that which would come to him. For anything that he knew, +Mrs Winterfield might leave everything she possessed to her niece. The +old lady had not been open and candid to him whom she meant to favour +in her will, as she had been to her to whom no such favour was to be +shown. But Captain Aylmer did know, with tolerable accuracy, what was +the state of affairs at Belton, and was aware that Miss Amedroz had no +prospect of maintenance on which to depend, unless she could depend on +her aunt. She was now pleading that she was not dependent on that lady, +and Captain Aylmer felt that she was wrong. He was a man of the world, +and was by no means inclined to abandon any right that was his own; but +it seemed to him that he was almost bound to say some word to show that +in his opinion Clara should hold herself bound to comply with her +aunt's requirements. + +'Dependence is a disagreeable word,' he said; and one never quite knows +what it means.' + +'If you were a woman you'd know. It means that I must stay at Perivale +on Sundays, while you can go up to London or down to Yorkshire. That's +what it means.' + +'What you do mean, I think, is this that you owe a duty to your aunt, +the performance of which is not altogether agreeable. Nevertheless it +would be foolish in you to omit it.' + +'It isn't that not that at all. It would not be foolish, not in your +sense of the word, but it would be wrong. My aunt has been kind to me, +and therefore I am bound to her for this service. But she is kind to +you also, and yet you are not bound. That's why I complain. You sail +always under false pretences, and yet you think you do your duty. You +have to see your lawyer which means going to your club; or to attend to +your tenants which means hunting and shooting.' + +'I haven't got any tenants.' + +'You know very well that you could remain over Sunday without doing any +harm to anybody only you don't like going to church three times, and +you don't like hearing my aunt read a sermon afterwards. Why shouldn't +you stay, and I go to the club?' + +'With all my heart, if you can manage it.' + +'But I can't; we ain't allowed to have clubs, or shooting, or to have +our own way in anything, putting forward little pretences about +lawyers.' + +'Come, I'll stay if you'll ask me.' + +'I'm sure I won't do that. In the first place you'd go to sleep, and +then she would be offended; and I don't know that your sufferings would +make mine any lighter. I'm not prepared to alter the ways of the world, +but feel myself entitled to grumble at them sometimes.' + +Mrs Winterfield inhabited a large brick house in the centre of the +town. It had a long frontage to the street; for there was not only the +house itself, with its three square windows on each side of the door, +and its seven windows over that, and again its seven windows in the +upper story but the end of the coach-house also abutted on the street, +on which was the family clock, quite as much respected in Perivale as +was the town-clock; and between the coach-house and the mansion there +was the broad entrance into the yard, and the entrance also to the back +door. No Perivalian ever presumed to doubt that Mrs Winterfield's house +was the most important house in the town. Nor did any stranger doubt it +on looking at the frontage. But then it was in all respects a town +house to the eye that is, an English town house, being as ugly and as +respectable as unlimited bricks and mortar could make it. Immediately +opposite to Mrs Winterfield lived the leading doctor and a retired +builder, so that the lady's eye was not hurt by any sign of a shop. The +shops, indeed, came within a very few yards of her on either side; but +as the neighbouring shops on each side were her own property, this was +not unbearable. To me, had I lived there, the incipient growth of grass +through some of the stones which formed the margin of the road would +have been altogether unendurable. There is no sign of coming decay +which is so melancholy to the eye as any which tells of a decrease in +the throng of men. Of men or horses there was never any throng now in +that end of Perivale. That street had formed part of the main line of +road from Salisbury to Taunton, and coaches, wagons, and +posting-carriages had been frequent on it; but now, alas lit was +deserted. Even the omnibuses from the railway-station never came there +unless they were ordered to call at Mrs Winterfield's door. For Mrs +Winterfield herself, this desolation had, I think, a certain melancholy +attraction. It suited her tone of mind and her religious views that she +should be thus daily reminded that things of this world were passing +away and going to destruction. She liked to have ocular proof that +grass was growing in the highways under mortal feet, and that it was no +longer worth man's while to renew human flags in human streets. She was +drawing near to the pavements which would ever be trodden by myriads of +bright sandals, and which yet would never be worn, and would be carried +to those jewelled causeways on which no weed could find a spot for its +useless growth. + +Behind the house there was a square prim garden, arranged in +parallelograms, tree answering to tree at every corner, round which it +was still her delight to creep when the weather permitted. Poor Clara! +How much advice she had received during these creepings, and how often +had she listened to inquiries as to the schooling of the gardener's +children. Mrs Winterfield was always unhappy about her gardener. +Serious footmen are very plentiful, and even coachmen are to be found +who, at a certain rate of extra payment, will be punctual at prayer +time, and will promise to read good little books; but gardeners, as a +class, are a profane people, who think themselves entitled to claim +liberty of conscience, and who will not submit to the domestic +despotism of a serious Sunday. They live in cottages by themselves, and +choose to have an opinion of their own on church matters. Mrs +Winterfield was aware that she ought to bid high for such a gardener as +she wanted. A man must be paid well who will submit to daily inquiries +as to the spiritual welfare of himself, his wife, and family. But even +though she did bid high, and though she paid generously, no gardener +would stop with her. One conscientious man attempted to bargain for +freedom from religion during the six unimportant days of the week, +being strong, and willing therefore to give up his day of rest; but +such liberty could not be allowed to him, and he also went. 'He +couldn't stop,' he said, 'in justice to the greenhouses, when missus +was so constant down upon him about his sprittual backsliding. And +after all, where did he backslide? It was only a pipe of tobacco with +the babby in his arms, instead of that darned evening lecture.' + +Poor Mrs Winterfield! She had been strong in her youth, and had herself +sat through evening lectures with a fortitude which other people cannot +attain. And she was strong too in her age, with the strength of a +martyr, submitting herself with patience to wearinesses which are +insupportable to those who have none of the martyr spirit. The sermons +of Perivale were neither bright, nor eloquent, nor encouraging. All the +old vicar or the young curate could tell she had heard hundreds of +times. She knew it all by heart, and could have preached their sermons +to them better than they could preach them to her. It was impossible +that she could learn anything from them: and yet she would sit there +thrice a day, suffering from cold in winter, from cough in spring, from +heat in summer, and from rheumatism in autumn; and now that her doctor +had forbidden her to go more than twice, recommending her to go only +once, she really thought that she regarded the prohibition as a +grievance. Indeed, to such as her, that expectation of the jewelled +causeway, and of the perfect pavement that shall never be worn, must be +everything. But if she was right right as to herself and others then +why has the world been made so pleasant? Why is the fruit of the earth +so sweet; and the trees why are they so green; and the mountains so +full of glory? Why are women so lovely? and why is it that the activity +of man's mind is the only sure forerunner of man's progress? In +Listening thrice a day to outpourings from the clergyman at Perivale +there certainly was no activity of mind. + +Now, in these days, Mrs Winterfield was near to her reward. That she +had ensured that I cannot doubt. She had fed the poor, and filled the +young full with religious teachings perhaps not wisely, and in her own +way only too well, but yet as her judgment had directed her. She had +cared little for herself forgiving injuries done to her, and not +forgiving those only which she thought were done to the Lord. She had +lived her life somewhat as the martyr lived, who stood for years on his +pillar unmoved, while his nails grew through his flesh. So had she +stood, doing, I fear, but little positive good with her large means but +thinking nothing of her own comfort here, in comparison with the +comfort of herself and others in the world to which she was going. + +On this occasion her nephew and niece reached her together; the prim +boy, with the white cotton gloves and the low four-wheeled carriage, +having been sent down to meet Clara. For Mrs Winterfield was a lady who +thought it unbecoming that her niece though only an adopted niece +should come to her door in an omnibus. Captain Aylmer had driven the +four-wheeled carriage from the station, dispossessing the boy, and the +luggage had been confided to the public conveyance. + +'It is very fortunate that you should come together,' said Mrs +Winterfield. 'I didn't know when to expect you, Fred. Indeed, you never +say at what hour you'll come.' + +'I think it safer to allow myself a little margin, aunt, because one +has so many things to do.' + +'I suppose it is so with a gentleman,' said Mrs Winterfield. After +which Clara looked at Captain Aylmer, but did not betray any of her +suspicions. 'But I knew Clara would come by this train,' continued the +old lady; 'so I sent Tom to meet her. Ladies always can be punctual; +they can do that at any rate.' Mrs Winterfield was one of those women +who have always believed that their own sex is in every respect +inferior to the other. + + +CHAPTER VIII + +CAPTAIN AYLMER MEETS HIS CONSTITUENTS + +On the first evening of their visit Captain Aylmer was very attentive +to his aunt. He was quite alive to the propriety of such attentions, +and to their expediency; and Clara was amused as she watched him while +he sat by her side, by the hour together, answering little questions +and making little remarks suited to the temperament of the old lady's +mind. She, herself, was hardly called upon to join in the conversation +on that evening, and as she sat and listened, she could not but think +that Will Belton would have been less adroit, but that he would also +have been more straightforward. And yet why should not Captain Aylmer +talk to his mat? Will Belton would also have talked to his aunt if he +had one, but then he would have talked his own talk, and not his aunt's +talk. Clara could hardly make up her mind whether Captain Aylmer was or +was not a sincere man. On the following day Aylmer was out all the +morning, paying visits among his constituents, and at three o'clock he +was to make his speech in the town-hall. Special places in the gallery +were to be kept for Mrs Winterfield and her niece, and the old woman +was quite resolved that she would be there. As the day advanced she +became very fidgety, and at length she was quite alive to the perils of +having to climb up the town-hall stairs; but she persevered, and at ten +minutes before three she was seated in her place. + +'I suppose they will begin with prayer,' she said to Clara. Clara, who +knew nothing of the manner in which things were done at such meetings, +said that she supposed so. A town councillor's wife who sat on the +other side of Mrs Winterfield here took the liberty of explaining that +as the captain was going to talk politics there would be no prayers. +'But they have prayers in the Houses of Parliament,' said Mrs +Winterfield, with much anger. To this the town councillor's wife, who +was almost silenced by the great lady's wrath, said that indeed she did +not know. After this Mrs Winterfield continued to hope for the best, +till the platform was filled and the proceedings had commenced. Then +she declared the present men of Perivale to be a godless set, and +expressed herself very sorry that her nephew had ever had anything to +do with them. 'No good can come of it, my dear,' she said. Clara from +the beginning had feared that no good would come of her aunt's visit to +the town-hall. + +The business was put on foot at once, and with some little flourishing +at the commencement, Captain Aylmer made his speech the same speech +which we have all heard and read so often, specially adapted to the +meridian of Perivale. He was a Conservative, and of course he told his +hearers that a good time was coming; that he and his family were really +about to buckle themselves to the work, and that Perivale would hear +things that would surprise it. The malt tax was to go, and the farmers +were to have free trade in beer the arguments from the other side +having come beautifully round in their appointed circle and old England +was to be old England once again. He did the thing tolerably well, as +such gentlemen usually do, and Perivale was contented with its Member, +with the exception of one Perivalian. To Mrs Winterfield, sitting up +there and listening with all her ears, it seemed that he had hitherto +omitted all allusion to any subject that was worthy of mention. At last +he said some word about the marriage and divorce court, condemning the +iniquity of the present law, to which Perivale had opposed itself +violently by petition and general meetings; and upon hearing this Mrs +Winterfield had thumped with her umbrella, and faintly cheered him with +her weak old voice. But the surrounding Perivalians had heard the +cheer, and it was repeated backward and forwards through the room, till +the Member's aunt thought that it might be her nephew's mission to +annul that godless Act of Parliament and restore the matrimonial bonds +of England to their old rigidity. When Captain Aylmer came out to hand +her up to her little carriage, she patted him, and thanked him, and +encouraged him; and on her way home she congratulated herself to Clara +that she should have such a nephew to leave behind in her place. + +Captain Aylmer was dining with the Mayor on that evening, and Mrs +Winterfield was therefore able to indulge herself in talking about him. +'I don't see much of young men, of course,' she said; 'but I do not +even hear of any that are like him.' Again Clara thought of her cousin +Will. Will was not at all like Frederic Aylmer; but was he not better? +And yet, as she thought thus, she remembered that she had refused her +cousin Will because she loved that very Frederic Aylmer whom her mind +was thus condemning. + +'I'm sure he does his duty as a Member of Parliament very well,' said +Clara. + +'That alone would not be much; but when that is joined to so much that +is better, it is a great deal. I am told that very few of the men in +the House now are believers at all.' + +'Oh, aunt!' + +'It is terrible to think of, my dear.' + +'But, aunt; they have to take some oath, or something of that sort, to +show that they are Christians.' + +'Not now, my dear. They've done away with all that since we had Jew +members. An atheist can go into Parliament now; and I'm told that most +of them are that, or nearly as bad. I can remember when no Papist could +sit in Parliament. But they seem to me to be doing away with +everything. It's a great comfort to me that Frederic is what he is.' + +'I'm sure it must be, aunt.' + +Then there was a pause, during which, however, Mrs Winterfield gave no +sign that the conversation was to be considered as being over. Clara +knew her aunt's ways so well, that she was sure something more was +coming, and therefore waited patiently, without any thought of taking +up her book. 'I was speaking to him about you yesterday,' Mrs +Winterfield said at last. + +'That would not interest him very much.' + +'Why not? Do you suppose he is not interested in those I love? Indeed, +it did interest him; and he told me what I did not know before, and +what you ought to have told me.' + +Clara now blushed, she knew not why, and became agitated. 'I don't know +that I have kept anything from you that I ought to have told,' she said. + +'He says that the provision made for you by your father has all been +squandered.' + +'If he used that word he has been very unkind,' said Clara, angrily. + +'I don't know what word he used, but he was not unkind at all; he never +is. I think he was very generous. + +'I do not want his generosity, aunt,' + +'That is nonsense, my dear. If he has told me the truth, what have you +to depend on?' + +'I don't want to depend on anything. I hate hearing about it.' + +'Clara, I wonder you can talk in that way. If you were only seventeen +it would be very foolish; but at your age it is inexcusable. When I am +gone, and your father is gone, who is to provide for you? Will your +cousin do it Mr Belton, who is to have the property?' + +'Yes, he would if I would let him of course I would not let him. But, +aunt, pray do not go on. I would sooner have to starve than talk about +it at all.' + +There was another pause; but Clara again knew that the conversation was +not over; and she knew also that it would be vain for her to endeavour +to begin another subject. Nor could she think of anything else to say, +so much was she agitated. + +'What makes you suppose that Mr Belton would be so liberal?' asked Mrs +Winterfield. + +'I don't know. I can't say. He is the nearest relation I shall have; +and of all the people I ever knew he is the best, and the most +generous, and the least selfish. When he came to us papa was quite +hostile to him disliking his very name; but when the time came, papa +could not bear to think of his going, because he had been so good.' + +'Clara!' + +'Well, aunt.' + +'I hope you know my affection for you.' + +'Of course I do, aunt; and I hope you trust mine for you also.' + +'Is there anything between you and Mr Belton besides cousinship?' + +'Nothing.' + +'Because if I thought that, my trouble would of course be at an end.' + +'There is nothing but pray do not lot me be a trouble to you.' Clara, +for a moment, almost resolved to tell her aunt the whole truth; but she +remembered that she would be treating her cousin badly if she told the +story of his rejection. + +There was another short period of silence, and then Mrs Winterfield +went on. 'Frederic thinks that I should make some provision for you by +will. That, of course, is the same as though he offered to do it +himself. I told him that it would be so, and I read him my will last +night. He said that that made no difference, and recommended me to add +a codicil. I asked him how much I ought to give you, and he said +fifteen hundred pounds. There will be as much as that after burying me +without burden to the estate. You must acknowledge that he has been +very generous.' + +But Clara, in her heart, did not at all thank Captain Aylmer for his +generosity. She would have had everything from him, or nothing. It was +grievous to her to think that she should owe to him a bare pittance to +keep her out of the workhouse to him who had twice seemed to be on the +point of asking her to share everything with him. She did not love her +cousin Will as she loved him; but her cousin Will's assurance to her +that he would treat her with a brother's care was sweeter to her by far +than Frederic Aylmer's well-balanced counsel to his aunt on her behalf. +In her present mood, too, she wanted no one to have fore. thought for +her; she desired no provision; for her, in the discomfiture of heart, +there was consolation in the feeling that when she should find herself +alone in the world, she would have been ill-treated by her friends all +round her. There was a charm in the prospect of her desolation of which +she did not wish to be robbed by the assurance of some seventy pounds a +year, to be given to her by Captain Frederic Aylmer. To be robbed of +one's grievance is the last and foulest wrong a wrong under which the +most enduring temper will at last yield and become soured by which the +strongest back will be broken. 'Well, my dear,' continued Mrs +Winterfield, when Clara made no response to this appeal for praise. + +'It is so hard for me to say anything about it, aunt. What can I say +but that I don't want to be a burden to any one?' + +'That is a position which very few women can attain, that is, very few +single women.' + +'I think it would be well if all single women were strangled by the +time they are thirty,' said Clara with a fierce energy which absolutely +frightened her aunt. + +'Clara! how can you say anything so wicked so abominably wicked?' + +'Anything would be better than being twitted in this way. How can I +help it that I am not a man and able to work for my bread? But I am not +above being a housemaid, and so Captain Aylmer shall find. I'd sooner +be a housemaid, with nothing but my wages, than take the money which +you say he is to give me. It will be of no use, aunt, for I shall not +take it.' + +'It is I that am to leave it to you. It is not to be a present from +Frederic.' + +'It is the same thing, aunt. He says you are to do it; and you told me +just now that it was to come out of his pocket.' + +'I should have done it myself long ago, had you told me all the truth +about your father's affairs.' + +'How was I to tell you? I would sooner have bitten my tongue out. But I +will tell you the truth now. If I had known that all this was to be +said to me about money, and that our poverty was to be talked over +between you and Captain Aylmer, I would not have come to Perivale. I +would rather that you should be angry with me and think that I had +forgotten you.' + +'You would not say that, Clara, if you remembered that this will +probably be your last visit to me.' + +'No, no; it will not be the last. But do not talk about these things. +And it will be so much better that I should be here when he is not +here.' + + + +'I had hoped that when I died you might both be with me together as +husband and wife.' + +'Such hopes never come to anything.' + +'I still think that he would wish it.' + +'That is nonsense, aunt. it is indeed, for neither of us wish it.' A +lie on such a subject from a woman under such circumstances is hardly +to be considered a lie at all. It is spoken with no mean object, and is +the only bulwark which the woman has ready at her need to cover her own +weakness. + +'From what he said yesterday,' continued Mrs Winterfield, 'I think it +is your own fault.' + +'Pray pray do not talk in that way. It cannot be matter of any fault +that two people do not want to marry each other.' + +'Of course I asked him no positive question. It would be indelicate +even in me to have done that. But he spoke as though he thought very +highly of you.' + +'No doubt he does. And so do I of Mr Possitt.' + +'Mr Possitt is a very excellent young man,' said Mrs Winterfield, +gravely. Mr Possitt was, indeed, her favourite curate of Perivale, and +always dined at the house on Sundays between services, when Mrs +Winter-field was very particular in seeing that he took two glasses of +her best port wine to support him. 'But Mr Possitt has nothing but his +curacy.' + +'There is no danger, aunt, I can assure you.' + +'I don't know what you call danger; but Frederic seemed to think that +you are always sharp with him. You don't want to quarrel with him, I +hope, because I love him better than any one in the world?' + +'Oh, aunt, what cruel things you say to me without thinking of them!' + +'I do not mean to be cruel, but I will say nothing more about him. As I +told you before that I had not thought it expedient to leave away any +portion of my little property from Frederic believing, as I did then, +that the money intended for you by your father was still remaining it +is best that you should now know that I have at last learnt the truth, +and that I will at once see my lawyer about making the change.' + +'Dear aunt, of course I thank you.' + +'I want no thanks, Clara. I humbly strive to do what I believe to be my +duty. I have never felt myself to be more than a steward of my money. +That I have often failed in my stewardship I know well for in what +duties do we not all fail?' Then she gently laid herself back in her +arm-chair, closing her eyes, while she kept fast clasped in her hands +the little book of daily devotion which she had been striving to read +when the conversation had been commenced. Clara knew then that nothing +more was to be said, and that she was not at present to interrupt her +aunt. From her posture, and the closing of her eyelids, Mrs Winterfield +might have been judged to be asleep; but Clara could see the gentle +motion of her lips, and was aware that her aunt was solacing herself +with prayer. + +Clara was angry with herself, and angry with all the world. She knew +that the old lady who was sitting then before her was very good; and +that all this that had now been said had come from pure goodness, and a +desire that strict duty might be done; and Clara was angry with herself +in that she had not been more ready with her thanks and more +demonstrative with her love and gratitude. Mrs Winterfield was +affectionate as well as good, and her niece's coldness, as the niece +well knew, had hurt her sorely. But still what could Clara have done or +said? She told herself that it was beyond her power to burst out into +loud praises of Captain Aylmer; and of such nature was the gratitude +which Mrs Winterfield had desired. She was not grateful to Captain +Aylmer, and wanted nothing that was to come from his generosity. And +then her mind went away to that other portion of her aunt's discourse. +Could it be possible that this man was in truth attached to her, and +was repelled simply by her own manner? She was aware that she had +fallen into a habit of fighting with him, of sparring against him with +words about indifferent things, and calling his conduct in question in +a manner half playful and half serious. Could it be the truth that she +was thus robbing herself of that which would be to her as to herself +she had frankly declared the one treasure which she would desire? +Twice, as has been said before, words had seemed to tremble on his lips +which might have settled the question for her for ever; and on both +occasions, as she knew, she herself had helped to laugh off the +precious word that had been coming. But had he been thoroughly in +earnest in earnest as she would have him to be no laugh would have +deterred him from his purpose. Could she have laughed Will Belton out +of his declaration? + +At last the lips ceased to move, and she knew that her aunt was in +truth asleep. The poor old lady hardly ever slept at night; but nature, +claiming something of its due, would give her rest such as this in her +arm-chair by the fire-side. They were sitting in a large double +drawing-room upstairs, in which there were, as was customary with Mrs +Winterfield in winter, two fires; and the candles were in the +back-room, while the two ladies sat in that looking out into the +street. This Mrs Winterfield did to save her eyes from the candles, and +yet to be within reach of light if it were wanted. And Clara also sat +motionless in the dark, careful not to disturb her aunt, and desirous +of being with her when she should awake. Captain Aylmer bad declared +his purpose of being home early from the Mayor's dinner, and the ladies +were to wait for his arrival before tea was brought to them. Clara was +herself almost asleep when the door was opened, and Captain Aylmer +entered the room. + +'H sh!' she said, rising gently from her chair, and putting up her +finger. He saw her by the dull light of the fire, and closed the door +without a sound. Clara then crept into the back-room and he followed +her with a noiseless step. ' She did not sleep at all last night,' said +Clara; 'and now the unusual excitement of the day has fatigued her, and +I think it is better not to wake her.' The rooms were large, and they +were able to place themselves at such a distance from the sleeper that +their low words could hardly disturb her. + +'Was she very tired when she got home? 'he asked. + +'Not very. She has been talking much since that.' + +'Has she spoken about her will to you?' + +'Yes she has.' + +'I thought she would.' Then he was silent, as though he expected that +she would speak again on that matter. But she had no wish to discuss +her aunt's will with him, and therefore, to break the silence, asked +him some trifling question. 'Are you not home earlier than you +expected? + +'It was very dull, and there was nothing more to be said. I did come +away early, and perhaps have given affront. I hope you will accept the +compliment implied.' + +'Your aunt will, when she wakes. She will be delighted to find you +here.' + +'I am awake,' said Mrs Winterfield. 'I heard Frederic come in. It is +very good of him to come so soon. Clara, my dear, we will have tea.' + +During tea, Captain Aylmer was called upon to give an account of the +Mayor's feast how the rector had said grace before dinner, and Mr +Possitt had done so after dinner, and how the soup had been uneatable. +'Dear me!' said Mrs Winterfield. 'And yet his wife was housekeeper +formerly in a family that lived very well!' The Mrs Winterfields of +this world allow themselves little spiteful pleasures of this kind, +repenting of them, no doubt, in those frequent moments in which they +talk to their friends of their own terrible vilenesses. Captain Aylmer +then explained that his own health had been drunk, and his aunt desired +to know whether, in returning thanks, he had been able to say anything +further against that wicked Divorce Act of Parliament. This her nephew +was constrained to answer with a negative, and so the conversation was +carried on till tea was over. She was very anxious to hear every word +that he could be made to utter as to his own doings in Parliament, and +as to his doings in Perivale, and hung upon him with that wondrous +affection which old people with warm hearts feel for those whom they +have selected as their favourites. Clara saw it all, and knew that her +aunt was almost doting. + +'I think I'll go up to bed now, my dears,' said Mrs Winterfield, when +she had taken her cup of tea. 'I am tired with those weary stairs in +the Town-hall, and I shall be better in my own room.' Clara offered to +go with her, but this attendance her aunt declined as she did always. +So the bell was rung, and the old maid. servant walked off with her +mistress, and Miss Amedroz and Captain Aylmer were left together. + +'I don't think she will last long,' said Captain Aylmer, soon after the +door was closed. + +'I should be sorry to believe that; but she is certainly much altered.' + +'She has great courage to keep her up and a feeling that she should not +give way, but do her duty to the last. In spite of all that, however, I +can see how changed she is since the summer. Have you ever thought how +sad it will be if she should be alone when the day comes?' + +'She has Martha, who is more to her now than any one else unless it is +you.' + +'You could not remain with her over Christmas, I suppose?' + +'Who, I? What would my father do? Papa is as old, or nearly as old, as +my aunt.' + +'But he is strong.' + +'He is very lonely. He would be more lonely than she is, for he has no +such servant as Martha to be with him. Women can do better than men, I +think, when they come to my aunt's age.' + +>From this they got into a conversation as to the character of the lady +with whom they were both so nearly connected, and, in spite of all that +Clara could do to prevent it, continual references were made by Captain +Aylmer to her money and will, and the need of an addition to that will +on Clara's behalf. At last she was driven to speak out. 'Captain +Aylmer,' she said, 'the subject is so distasteful to me, that I must +ask you not to speak about it.' + +'In my position I am driven to think about it.' + +'I cannot, of course, help your thoughts; but I can assure you that +they are unnecessary.' + +'It seems to me so hard that there should be such a gulf between you +and me.' This he said after he had been silent for a while; and as he +spoke he looked away from her at the fire. + +'I don't know that there is any particular gulf,' she replied. + +'Yes, there is. And it is you that make it. Whenever I attempt to speak +to you as a friend you draw yourself off from me, and shut yourself up. +I know that it is not jealousy.' + +'Jealousy, Captain Aylmer!' + +'Jealousy with my aunt, I mean.' + +'No, indeed.' + +'You are infinitely too proud for that; but I am sure that a stranger +seeing it would think that it was so.' + +'I don't know what it is that I do or that I ought not to do. But all +my life everything that I have done at Perivale has always been wrong.' + +'It would have been so natural that you and I should be friends.' + +'If we are enemies, Captain Aylmer, I don't know it.' + +'But if ever I venture to speak of your future life you always repel me +as though you were determined to let me know that it should not be a +matter of care to me.' + +'That is exactly what I am determined to let you know. You are, or will +be, a rich man, and you have everything the world can give you. I am, +or shall be, a very poor woman.' + +'Is that a reason why I should not be interested in your welfare?' + +'Yes the best reason in the world. We are not related to each other, +though we have a common connexion in dear Mrs Winterfield. And nothing, +to my idea, can be more objectionable than any sort of dependence from +a woman of my age on a man of yours there being no real tie of blood +between them. I have spoken very plainly, Captain Aylmer, for you have +made me do it.' + +'Very plainly,' he said. + +'If I have said anything to offend you, I beg your pardon; but I was +driven to explain myself.' + +Then she got up and took her bed-candle in her hand. + +'You have not offended me,' he said, as he also rose. + +'Good-night, Captain Aylmer.' + +He took her hand and kept it. 'Say that we are friends.' + +'Why should we not be friends?' + +'There is no reason on my part why we should not be the dearest +friends,' he said. 'Were it not that I am so utterly without +encouragement, I should say the very dearest.' He still held her hand, +and was looking into her face as he spoke. For a moment she stood +there, bearing his gaze, as though she expected some further words to +be spoken. Then she withdrew her hand, and again saying, in a clear +voice, 'Good-night, Captain Aylmer,' she left the room. + + +CHAPTER IX + +CAPTAIN AYLMER'S PROMISE TO HIS AUNT + +What had Captain Aylmer meant by telling her that they might be the +dearest friends by saying so much as that, and then saying no more? Of +course Clara asked herself that question as soon as she was alone in +her bedroom, after leaving Captain Aylmer below. And she made two +answers to herself two answers which were altogether distinct and +contradictory one of the other. At first she decided that he had said +so much and no more because he was deceitful because it suited his +vanity to raise hopes which he had no intention of fulfilling because +he was fond of saying soft things which were intended to have no +meaning. This was her first answer to herself. But in her second she +accused herself as much as before she had accused him. She had been +cold to him, unfriendly, and harsh. As her aunt had told her, she spoke +sharp words to him, and repulsed the kindness which he offered her. +What right had she to expect from him a declaration of love when she +was studious to stop him at every avenue by which he might approach it? +A little management on her side would, she almost knew, make things +right. But then the idea of any such management distressed her nay, +more, disgusted her. The management, if any were necessary, must come +from him. And it was manifest enough that if he had any strong wishes +in this matter he was not a good manager. Her cousin, Will Belton, knew +how to manage much better. + +On the next morning, however, all her thoughts respecting Captain +Aylmer were dissipated by tidings which Martha brought to her bedside. +Her aunt was ill. Martha was afraid that her mistress was very ill. She +did not dare to send specially for the doctor on her own +responsibility, as Mrs Winterfield had strong and peculiar feelings +about doctors' visits, and had on this very morning declined to be so +visited. On the next day the doctor would come in the usual course of +things, for she had submitted for some years back to such periodical +visitings; but she had desired that nothing might be done out of the +common way. Martha, however, declared that if she were alone with her +mistress the doctor would be sent for; and she now petitioned for aid +from Clara. Clara was, of course, by her aunt's bedside in a few +minutes, and in a few minutes more the doctor from the other side of +the way was there also. + +It was ten o'clock before Captain Aylmer and Miss Amedroz met at +breakfast, and they had before that been together in Mrs Winterfield's +room. The doctor had told Captain Aylmer that his aunt was very ill +very ill, dangerously ill. She had been wrong to go into such a place +as the cold, unaired Town-hall, and that, too, in the month of +November; and the fatigue had also been too much for her. Mrs +Winterfield, too, had admitted to Clara that she know herself to be +very ill. 'I felt it coming on me last night,' she said, 'when I was +talking to you; and I felt it still more strongly when I left you after +tea. I have lived long enough. God's will be done.' At that moment, +when she said she had lived long enough, she forgot her intention with +reference to her will. But she remembered it before Clara had left the +room. 'Tell Frederic', she said, 'to send at once for Mr Palmer.' Now +Clara knew that Mr Palmer was the attorney, and resolved that she would +give no such message to Captain Aylmer. But Mrs Winterfield sent for +her nephew, who had just left her, and herself gave her orders to him. +In the course of the morning there came tidings from the attorney's +office that Mr Palmer was away from Perivale, that he would be back on +the morrow, and that he would of course wait on Mrs Winterfield +immediately on his return. + +Captain Aylmer and Miss Amedroz discussed nothing but their aunt's +state of health that morning over the breakfast-table. Of course, under +such circumstances in the house, there was no further immediate +reference made to that offer of dearest friendship. It was clear to +them both that the doctor did not expect that Mrs Winterfield would +again leave her bed; and it was clear to Clara also that her aunt was +of the same opinion. + +'I shall hardly be able to go home now,' she said. + +'It will be kind of you if you can remain.' + +'And you?' + +'I shall remain over the Sunday. If by that time she is at all better, +I will run up to town and come down again before the end of the week. I +know you don't believe it, but a man really has some things which he +must do.' + +'I don't disbelieve you, Captain Aylmer.' + +'But you must write to me daily if I do go.' + +To this Clara made no objection and she must write also to some one +else. She must let her cousin know how little chance there was that she +would be at home at Christmas, explaining to him at the same time that +his visit to her father would on that account be all the more welcome. + +'Are you going to her now?' he asked, as Clara got up immediately after +breakfast. 'I shall be in the house all the morning, and if you want me +you will of course send for me.' + +'She may perhaps like to see you.' + +'I will come up every now and again. I would remain there altogether, +only I should be in the way.' Then he got a newspaper and made himself +comfortable over the fire, while she went up to her weary task in her +aunt's room. + +Neither on that day nor on the next did the lawyer come, and on the +following morning all earthly troubles were over with Mrs Winterfield. +It was early on the Sunday morning that she died, and late on the +Saturday evening Mr Palmer had sent up to say that he had been detained +at Taunton, but that he would wait on Mrs Winterfield early on the +Monday morning. On the Friday the poor lady had said much on the +subject, but had been comforted by an assurance from her nephew that +the arrangement should be carried out exactly as she wished it, whether +the codicil was or was not added to the will. To Clara she said nothing +more on the subject, nor at such a time did Captain Aylmer feel that he +could offer her any assurance on the matter. But Clara knew that the +will was not altered; and though at the time she was not thinking much +about money, she had, nevertheless, very clearly made up her own mind +as to her own conduct. Nothing should induce her to take a present of +fifteen hundred pounds or, indeed, of as many pence from Captain +Aylmer. During those hours of sickness in the house they had been much +thrown together, and no one could have been kinder or more gentle to +her than he had been. He had come to call her Clara, as people will do +when joined together in such duties, and had been very pleasant as well +as affectionate in his manner with her. It had seemed to her that he +also wished to take upon himself the cares and love of an adopted +brother. But as an adopted brother she would have nothing to do with +him. The two men whom she liked best in the world would assume each the +wrong place; and between them both she felt that she would be left +friendless. + +On the Saturday afternoon they had both surmised how it was going to be +with Mrs Winterfield, and Captain Aylmer had told Mr Palmer that he +feared his coming on the Monday would be useless. He explained also +what was required, and declared that he would be at once ready to make +good the deficiency in the will Mr Palmer seemed to think that this +would be better even than the making of a codicil in the last moments +of the lady's life; and, therefore, he and Captain Aylmer were at rest +on that subject. + +During the greater part of the Saturday night both Clara and Captain +Aylmer remained with their aunt; and once when the morning was almost +there, and the last hour was near at hand, she had said a word or two +which both of them had understood, in which she implored her darling +Frederic to take a brother's care of Clara Amedroz. Even in that moment +Clara had repudiated the legacy, feeling sure in her heart that +Frederic Aylmer was aware what was the nature of the care which he +ought to owe, if he would consent to owe any care to her. He promised +his aunt that he would do as she desired him, and it was impossible +that Clara should then, aloud, repudiate the compact. But she said +nothing, merely allowing her hand to rest with his beneath the thin, +dry hand of the dying woman. To her aunt, however, when for a moment +they were alone together, she showed all possible affection, with +thanks and tears, and warm kisses, and prayers for forgiveness as to +all those matters in which she had offended. 'My pretty one my dear,' +said the old woman, raising her hand on to the head of the crouching +girl, who was hiding her moist eyes on the bed. Never during her life +had her aunt appeared to her in so loving a mood as now, when she was +leaving it. Then, with some eager impassioned words, in which she +pronounced her ideas of what should be the religious duties of a woman, +Mrs Winterfield bade farewell to her niece. After that, she had a +longer interview with her nephew, and then it seemed that all worldly +cares were over with her. + +The Sunday was passed in all that blackness of funeral grief which is +absolutely necessary on such occasions. It cannot be said that either +Clara or Captain Aylmer were stricken with any of that agony of woe +which is produced on us by the death of those whom we have loved so +well that we cannot bring ourselves to submit to part with them. They +were both truly sorry for their aunt, in the common parlance of the +world; but their sorrow was of that modified sort which does not numb +the heart and make the surviving sufferer feel that there never can be +a remedy. Nevertheless, it demanded sad countenances, few words, and +those spoken hardly above a whisper; an absence of all amusement and +almost of all employment, and a full surrender to the trappings of woe. +They two were living together without other companion in the big house +sitting down together to dinner and to tea; but on this day hardly a +dozen words were spoken between them, and those dozen were spoken with +no purport. On the Monday Captain Aylmer gave orders for the funeral, +and then went away to London, undertaking to be back on the day before +the last ceremony. Clara was rather glad that he should be gone, though +she feared the solitude of the big house. She was glad that he should +be gone, as she found it impossible to talk to him with ease to +herself. She knew that he was about to assume some position as +protector or quasi guardian over her in conformity with her aunt's +express wish, and she was quite resolved that she would submit to no +such guardianship from his hands. That being so, the shorter period +there might be for any such discussion the better. + +The funeral was to take place on the Saturday, and during the four days +that intervened she received two visits from Mr Possitt. Mr Possitt was +very discreet in what he said, and Clara was angry with herself for not +allowing his words to have any avail with her. She told herself that +they were commonplace; but she told herself, also, after his first +visit, that she had no right to expect anything else but commonplace +words. How often are men found who can speak words on such occasions +that are not commonplaces that really stir the soul, and bring true +comfort to the listener? The humble listener may receive comfort even +from commonplace words; but Clara was not humble, and rebuked herself +for her own pride. On the second occasion of his coming she did +endeavour to receive him with a meek heart, and to accept what he said +with an obedient spirit. But the struggle within her bosom was hard, +and when he bade her to kneel and pray with him, she doubted for a +moment between rebellion and hypocrisy. But she had determined to be +meek, and so hypocrisy carried the hour. + +What would a clergyman say on such an occasion if the object of his +solicitude were to decline the offer, remarking that prayer at that +moment did not seem to be opportune; and that, moreover, he, the person +thus invited, would like, first of all, to know what was to be the +special object of the proposed prayer, if he found that he could, at +the spur of the moment, bring himself at all into a fitting mood for +the task? Of him who would decline, without argument, the clergyman +would opine that he was simply a reprobate. Of him who would propose to +accompany an hypothetical acceptance with certain stipulations, he +would say to himself that he was a stiff-necked wrestler against grace, +whose condition was worse than that of the reprobate. Men and women, +conscious that they will be thus judged, submit to the hypocrisy, and +go down upon their knees unprepared, making no effort, doing nothing +while they are there, allowing their consciences to be eased if they +can only feel themselves numbed into some ceremonial awe by the +occasion. So it was with Clara, when Mr Possitt, with easy piety, went +through the formula of his devotion, hardly ever having realized to +himself the fact that of all works in which man can engage himself, +that of prayer is the most difficult. + +'It is a sad loss to me,' said Mr Possitt, as he sat for half an hour +with Clara, after she had thus submitted herself. Mr Possitt was a +weakly, pale-faced little man, who worked so hard in the parish that on +every day, Sundays included, he went to bed as tired in all his bones +as a day labourer from the fields 'a very great loss. There are not +many now who understand what a clergyman has to go through, as our dear +friend did.' If he was mindful of his two glasses of port wine on +Sundays, who could blame him? + +'She was a very kind woman, Mr Possitt.' + +'Yes, indeed and so thoughtful! That she will have an exceeding great +reward, who can doubt? Since I knew her she always lived as a saint +upon earth. I suppose there's nothing known as to who will live in this +house, Miss Amedroz?' + +'Nothing I should think.' + +'Captain Aylmer won't keep it in his own hands?' + +'I cannot tell in the least; but as he is obliged to live in London +because of Parliament, and goes to Yorkshire always in the autumn, he +can hardly want it. + +'I suppose not. But it will be a sad loss a sad loss to have this house +empty. Ah I shall never forget her kindness to me. Do you know, Miss +Amedroz,' and as he told his little secret he became beautifully +confidential 'do you know, she always used to send me ten guineas at +Christmas to help me along. She understood, as well as any one, how +hard it is for a gentleman to live on seventy pounds a year. You will +not wonder that I should feel that I've had a loss.' It is hard for a +gentleman to live upon seventy pounds a year; and it is very hard, too, +for a lady to live upon nothing a year, which lot in life fate seemed +to have in store for Miss Amedroz. + +On the Friday evening Captain Aylmer came back, and Clara was in truth +glad to see him. Her aunt's death had been now far enough back to admit +of her telling Martha that she would not dine till Captain Aylmer had +come, and to allow her to think somewhat of his comfort. People must +eat and drink even when the grim monarch is in the house; and it is a +relief when they first dare to do so with some attention to the +comforts which are ordinarily so important to them. For themselves +alone women seldom care to exercise much trouble in this direction; but +the presence of a man at once excuses and renders necessary the +ceremony of a dinner. So Clara prepared for the arrival, and greeted +the corner with some returning pleasantness of manner. And he, too, was +pleasant with her, telling her of his plans, and speaking to her as +though she were one of those whom it was natural that he should +endeavour to interest in his future welfare. + +'When I come back tomorrow,' he said, 'the will must be opened and +read. It had better be done here.' They were sitting over the fire in +the dining-room, after dinner, and Clara knew that the coming back to +which he alluded was his return from the funeral. But she made no +answer to this, as she wished to say nothing about her aunt's will. +'And after that,' he continued, 'you had better let me take you out.' + +'I am very well,' she said. 'I do not want any special taking out.' + +'But you have been confined to the house a whole week.' + +'Women are accustomed to that, and do not feel it as you would. +However, I will walk with you if you'll take me.' + +'Of course I'll take you. And then we must settle our future plans. +Have you fixed upon any day yet for returning? Of course, the longer +you stay, the kinder you will be.' + +'I can do no good to any one by staying.' + +'You do good to me but I suppose I'm nobody. I wish I could tell what +to do about this house. Dear, good old woman! I know she would have +wished that I should keep it in my own hands, with some idea of living +here at some future time but of course I shall never live here.' + +'Why not?' + +'Would you like it yourself?' + +'I am not Member of Parliament for Perivale, and should not be the +leading person in the town. You would be a sort of king here; and then, +some day, you will have your mother's property as well as your aunt's; +and you would be near to your own tenants.' + +'But that does not answer my question. Could you bring yourself to live +here even if it were your own?' + +'Why not?' + +'Because it is so deadly dull because it has no attraction whatever +because of all lives it is the one you would like the least. No one +should live in a provincial town but they who make their money by doing +so.' + +'And what are the wives and daughters of such people to do and +especially their widows? I have no doubt I could live here very happily +if I had anybody near me that I liked. I should not wish to have to +depend altogether on Mr Possitt for society.' + +'And you would find him about the best.' + +'Mr Possitt has been with me twice whilst you were away, and he, too, +asked what you meant to do about the house.' + +'And what did you say?' + +'What could I say? Of course I said I did not know. I suppose he was +meditating whether you would live here and ask him to dinner on +Sundays!' + +'Mr Possitt is a very good sort of man,' said the captain, gravely for +Captain Aylmer, in the carrying out of his principles, always spoke +seriously of everything connected with the Church in Perivale. + +'And quite worthy to be asked to dinner on Sundays,' said Clara. 'But I +did not give him any hope. How could I? Of course I knew that you would +not live here, though I did not tell him so.' + +'No; I don't suppose I shall. But I see very plainly that you think I +ought to do so.' + +'I've the old-fashioned idea as to a man's living near to his own +property; that is all. No doubt it was good for other people in +Perivale, besides Mr Possitt, that my dear aunt lived here; and if the +house is shut up, or let to some stranger, they will feel her loss the +more. But I don't know that you are bound to sacrifice yourself to +them.' + +'If I were to marry,' said Captain Aylmer, very slowly and in a low +voice, 'of course I should have to think of my wife's wishes.' + +'But if your wife, when she accepted you, knew that you were living +here, she would hardly take upon herself to demand that you should give +up your residence.' + +'She might find it very dull.' + +'She would make her own calculations as to that before she accepted +you.' + +'No doubt but I can't fancy any woman taking a man who was tied by his +leg to Perivale. What do people do who live in Perivale?' + +'Earn their bread.' + +'Yes that's just what I said. But I shouldn't earn mine here.' + +'I have the feeling I spoke of very strongly about papa's place,' said +Clara, changing the conversation suddenly. 'I very often think of the +future fate of Belton Castle when papa shall have gone. My cousin has +got his house at Plaistow, and I don't suppose he'd live there.' + +'And where will you go?' he asked. + +As soon as she had spoken, Clara regretted her own imprudence in having +ventured to speak upon her own affairs. She had been well pleased to +hear him talk of his plans, and had been quite resolved not to talk of +her own. But now, by her own speech, she had sot him to make inquiries +as to her future life. She did not at first answer the question; but he +repeated it. 'And where will you live yourself?' + +'I hope I may not have to think of that for some time to come yet.' + +'It is impossible to help thinking of such things.' + +'I can assure you that I haven't thought about it; but I suppose I +shall endeavour to to I don't know what I shall endeavour to do.' + +'Will you come and live at Perivale?' + +'Why here more than anywhere else? + +'In this house I mean.' + +'That would suit me admirably would it not? I'm afraid Mr Possitt would +not find me a good neighbour. To tell the truth, I think that any lady +who lives here alone ought to be older than I am. The Penvalians would +not show to a young woman that sort of respect which they have always +felt for this house.' + +'I didn't mean alone,' said Captain Aylmer. + +Then Clara got up and made some excuse for leaving him, and there was +nothing more said between them nothing, at least, of moment, on that +evening. She had become uneasy when he asked her whether she would like +to live in his house at Perivale. But afterwards, when he suggested +that she was to have some companion with her there, she felt herself +compelled to put an end to the conversation. And yet she knew that this +was always the way, both with him and with herself. He would say things +which would seem to promise that in another minute he would be at her +feet, and then he would go no farther. And she, when she heard those +words though in truth size would have had him at her feet if she could +would draw away, and recede, and forbid him as it were to go on. But +Clara continued to make her comparisons, and knew well that her cousin +Will would have gone on in spite of any such forbiddings. + +On that night, however, when she was alone, she could console herself +with thinking how right she had been. In that front bedroom, the door +of which was opposite to her own, with closed shutters, in the terrible +solemnity of lifeless humanity, was still lying the body of her aunt! +What would she have thought of herself if at such a moment she could +have listened to words of love, and promised herself as a wife while +such an inmate was in the house? She little knew that he, within that +same room, had pledged himself, to her who was now lying there waiting +for her last removal had pledged himself, just seven days since, to +make the offer which, when he was talking to her, she was always half +hoping and half fearing! + +He could have meant nothing else when he told her that he had not +intended to suggest that she should live there alone in that great +house at Perivale. She could not hinder herself from thinking of this, +unfit as was the present moment for any such thoughts. How was it +possible that she should not speculate on the subject, let her +resolutions against any such speculation be ever so strong? She had +confessed to herself that she loved the man, and what else could she +wish but that he also should love her? But there came upon her some +faint suspicion some glimpse of what was almost a dream that he might +possibly in this matter be guided rather by duty than by love. It might +be that he would feel himself constrained to offer his hand to her +constrained by the peculiarity of his position towards her. If so +should she discover that such were his motives there would be no doubt +as to the nature of her answer. + + +CHAPTER X + +SHOWING HOW CAPTAIN AYLMER KEPT HIS PROMISE + +The next day was necessarily very sad. Clara had declared her +determination to follow her aunt to the churchyard, and did so, +together with Martha, the old servant. There were three or four +mourning coaches, as family friends came over from Taunton, one or two +of whom were to be present at the reading of the will. How melancholy +was the occasion, and how well the work was done; how substantial and +yet how solemn was the luncheon, spread after the funeral for the +gentlemen; and how the will was read, without a word of remark, by Mr +Palmer, need hardly be told here. The will contained certain +substantial legacies to servants the amount to that old handmaid Martha +being so great as to produce a fit of fainting, after which the old +handmaid declared that if ever there was, by any chance, an angel of +light upon the earth, it was her late mistress; and yet Martha had had +her troubles with her mistress; and there was a legacy of two hundred +pounds to the gentleman who was called upon to act as co-executor with +Captain Aylmer. Other clause in the will there was none, except that +one substantial clause which bequeathed to her well-beloved nephew, +Frederic Folliott Aylmer, everything of which the testatrix died +possessed. The will had been made at some moment in which Clara's +spirit of independence had offended her aunt, and her name was not +mentioned. That nothing should have been left to Clara was the one +thing that surprised the relatives from Taunton who were present. The +relatives from Taunton, to give them their due, expected nothing for +themselves; but as there had been great doubt as to the proportions in +which the property would be divided between the nephew and adopted +niece, there was aroused a considerable excitement as to the omission +of the name of Miss Amedroz an excitement which was not altogether +unpleasant. When people complain of some cruel shame, which does not +affect themselves personally, the complaint is generally accompanied by +an unexpressed and unconscious feeling of satisfaction. + +On the present occasion, when the will had been read and refolded, +Captain Aylmer, who was standing on the rug near the fire, spoke a few +words. His aunt, he said, had desired to add a codicil to the will, of +the nature of which Mr Palmer was well aware. She had expressed her +intention to leave fifteen hundred pounds to her niece, Miss Amedroz; +but death had come upon her too quickly to enable her to perform her +purpose. Of this intention on the part of Mrs Winterfield, Mr Palmer +was as well aware as himself; and he mentioned the subject now, merely +with the object of saying that, as a matter of course, the legacy to +Miss Amedroz was as good as though the codicil had been completed. On +such a question as that there could arise no question as to legal +right; but he understood that the legal claim of Miss Amedroz, under +such circumstances, was as void as his own. It was therefore no affair +of generosity on his part. Then there was a little buzz of satisfaction +on the part of those present, and the meeting was broken up. + +A certain old Mrs. Folliott, who was cousin to everybody concerned, had +come over from Taunton to see how things were going. She had always +been at variance with Mrs Winterfield, being a woman who loved cards +and supper parties, and who had throughout her life stabled her horses +in stalls very different to those used by the lady of Perivale. Now +this Mrs Folliott was the first to tell Clara of the will. Clara. of +course, was altogether indifferent. She had known for months past that +her aunt had intended to leave nothing to her, and her only hope had +been that she might be left free from any commiseration or remark on +the subject. But Mrs Folliott, with sundry shakings of the head, told +her how her aunt had omitted to name her and then told her also of +Captain Aylmer's generosity. 'We all did think, my dear,' said Mrs +Folliott, 'that she would have done better than that for you, or at any +rate that she would not have left you dependent on him.' Captain +Aylmer's horses were also supposed to be stabled in strictly Low Church +stalls, and were therefore regarded by Mrs Folliott with much dislike. + +'I and my aunt understood each other perfectly,' said Clara. + +'I dare say. But if so, you really were the only person that did +understand her. No doubt what she did was quite right, seeing that she +was a saint; but we sinners would have thought it very wicked to have +made such a will, and then to have trusted to the generosity of another +person after we were dead.' + +'But there is no question of trusting to any one's generosity, Mrs +Folliott.' + +'He need not pay you a shilling, you know, unless he likes it.' + +'And he will not be asked to pay me a shilling.' + +'I don't suppose he will go back after what he has said publicly.' + +'My dear Mrs Folliott,' said Clara earnestly, 'pray do not let us talk +about it. it is quite unnecessary. I never expected any of my aunt's +property, and knew all along that it was to go to Captain Aylmer who, +indeed, was Mrs Winterfield's heir naturally. Mrs Winterfield was not +really my aunt, and I had no claim on her.' + +'But everybody understood that she was to provide for you.' + +'As I was not one of the everybodies myself, it will not signify.' Then +Mrs Folliott retreated, having, as she thought, performed her duty to +Clara, and contented herself henceforth with abusing Mrs Winterfield's +will in her own social circles at Taunton. + +On the evening of that day, when all the visitors were gone and the +house was again quiet, Captain Aylmer thought it expedient to explain +to Clara the nature of his aunt's will, and the manner in which she +would be allowed to inherit under it the amount of money which her aunt +had intended to bequeath to her. When she became impatient and objected +to listen to him, he argued with her, pointing out to her that this was +a matter of business to which it was now absolutely necessary that she +should attend. 'It may be the case,' he said, 'and, indeed, I hope it +will, that no essential difference will be made by it except that it +will gratify you to know how careful she was of your interests in her +last moments. But you are bound in duty to learn your own position; and +I, as her executor, am bound to explain it to you. But perhaps you +would rather discuss it with Mr Palmer.' + +'Oh no save me from that.' + +'You must understand, then, that I shall pay over to you the sum of +fifteen hundred pounds as soon as the will has been proved.' + +'I understand nothing of the kind. I know very well that if I were to +take it, I should be accepting a present from you, and to that I cannot +consent.' + +'But, Clara' + +'It is no good, Captain Aylmer. Though I don't pretend to understand +much about law, I do know that I can have no claim to anything that is +not put into the will; and I won't have what I could not claim. My mind +is quite made up, and I hops I mayn't be annoyed about it. Nothing is +more disagreeable than having to discuss money matters.' + +Perhaps Captain Aylmer thought that the having no money matters to +discuss might be even more disagreeable. 'Well,' he said, 'I can only +ask you to consult any friend whom you can trust upon the matter. Ask +your father, or Mr Belton, and I have no doubt that either of them will +tell you that you are as much entitled to the legacy as though it had +been written in the will.' + +'On such a matter, Captain Aylmer, I don't want to ask anybody. You +can't pay me the money unless I choose to take it, and I certainly +shall not do that.' Upon hearing this he smiled, assuming, as Clara +fancied that he was sometimes wont to do, a look of quiet superiority; +and then, for that time, he allowed the subject to be dropped between +them. + +But Clara knew that she must discuss it at length with her father, and +the fear of that discussion made her unhappy. She had already written +to say that she would return home on the day but one after the funeral, +and had told Captain Aylmer of her purpose. So very prudent a man as he +of course could not think it right that a young lady should remain with +him, in his house, as his visitor; and to her decision on this point he +had made no objection. She now heartily wished that she had named the +day after the funeral, and that she had not been deterred by her +dislike of making a Sunday journey. She dreaded this day, and would +have been very thankful if he would have left her and gone back to +London. But he intended, he said, to remain at Perivale throughout the +next week, and she must endure the day as best she might be able. She +wished that it were possible to ask Mr Possitt to his accustomed +dinner; but she did not dare to make the proposition to the master of +the house. Though Captain Aylmer had declared Mr Possitt to be a very +worthy man, Clara surmised that he would not be anxious to commence +that practice of a Sabbatical dinner so soon after his aunt's decease. +The day, after all, would be but one day, and Clara schooled herself +into a resolution to bear it with good humour. + +Captain Aylmer had made a positive promise to his aunt on her deathbed +that he would ask Clara Amedroz to be his wife, and be had no more idea +of breaking his word than he had of resigning the whole property which +had been left to him. Whether Clara would accept him he had much doubt. +He was a man by no means brilliant, not naturally self-confident, nor +was he, perhaps, to be credited with the possession of high principles +of the finest sort; but he was clever, in the ordinary sense of the +word, knowing his own interest, knowing, too, that that interest +depended on other things besides money; and ha was a just man, +according to the ordinary rules of justice in the world. Not for the +first time, when he was sitting by the bedside of his dying aunt, had +he thought of asking Clara to marry him. Though he had never hitherto +resolved that he would do so though he had never till then brought +himself absolutely to determine that he would take so important a step +he had pondered over it often, and was aware that he was very fond of +Clara. He was, in truth, as much in love with her as it was in his +nature to be in love. He was not a man to break his heart for a girl +nor even to make a strong fight for a wife, as Belton was prepared to +do. If refused once, he might probably ask again having some idea that +a first refusal was not always intended to mean much and he might +possibly make a third attempt, prompted by some further calculation of +the same nature. But it might be doubted whether, on the first, second, +or third occasion, he would throw much passion into his words; and +those who knew him well would hardly expect to see him die of a broken +heart, should he ultimately be unsuccessful. + +When he had first thought of marrying Miss Amedroz he had imagined that +she would have shared with him his aunt's property, and indeed such had +been his belief up to the days of the last illness of Mrs Winterfield. +The match therefore had recommended itself to him as being prudent as +well as pleasant; and though his aunt had never hitherto pressed the +matter upon him, he had understood what her wishes were. When she first +told him, three or four days before her death, that her property was +left altogether to him, and then, on hearing how totally her niece was +without hope of provision from her father, had expressed her desire to +give a sum of money to Clara, she had spoken plainly of her desire but +she had not on that occasion asked him for any promise. But afterwards, +when she knew that she was dying, she had questioned him as to his own +feelings, and he, in his anxiety to gratify her in her last wishes, had +given her the promise which she was so anxious to hear. He made no +difficulty in doing so. It was his own wish as well as hers. In a money +point of view he might no doubt now do better; but then money was not +everything. He was very fond of Clara, and felt that if she would +accept him he would be proud of his wife. She was well born and well +educated, and it was the proper sort of thing for him to do. No doubt +he had some idea, seeing how things had now arranged themselves, that +he would be giving much more than he would get; and perhaps the manner +of his offer might be affected by that consideration; but not on that +account did he feel at all sure that he would be accepted. Clara +Amedroz was a proud girl perhaps too proud. Indeed, it was her fault. +If her pride now interfered with her future fortune in life, it should +be her fault, not his. He would do his duty to her and to his aunt he +would do it perseveringly and kindly; and then, if she refused him, the +fault would not be his. + +Such, I think, was the state of Captain Aylmer's mind when he got up on +the Sunday morning, resolving that he would on that day make good his +promise. And it must be remembered, on his behalf, that he would have +prepared himself for his task with more animation if he had hitherto +received warmer encouragement. He had felt himself to be repulsed in +the little efforts which he had already made to please the lady, and +had no idea whatever as to the true state of her feelings. Had he known +what she knew, he would, I think, have been animated enough, and gone +to his task as happy and thriving a lover as any. But he was a man +somewhat diffident of himself, though sufficiently conscious of the +value of the worldly advantages which he possessed and he was, perhaps, +a little afraid of Clara, giving her credit for an intellect superior +to his own. + + + +He had promised to walk with her on the Saturday after the reading of +the will, intending to take her out through the gardens down to a farm, +now belonging to himself, which lay at the back of the town, and which +was held by an old widow who had been senior in life to her late +landlady; but no such walk had been possible, as it was dark before the +last of the visitors from Taunton had gone. At breakfast on Sunday he +again proposed the walk, offering to take her immediately after +luncheon. 'I suppose you will not go to church?' he said. + +'Not today. I could hardly bring myself to do it today.' + +'I think you are right. I shall go. A man can always do these things +sooner than a lady can. But you will come out afterwards?' To this she +assented, and then she was left alone throughout the morning. The walk +she did not mind. That she and Captain Aylmer should walk together was +all very well. They might probably have done so had Mrs Winterfield +been still alive. It was the long evening afterwards that she dreaded +the long winter evening, in which she would have to sit with him as his +guest, and with him only. She could not pass these hours without +talking to him, and she felt that she could not talk to him naturally +and easily. It would, however, be but for once, and she would bear it. + +They went together down to the house of Mrs Partridge, the tenant, and +made their kindly speeches to the old woman. Mrs Partridge already knew +that Captain Aylmer was to be her landlord, but having hitherto seen +more of Miss Amedroz than of the captain, and having always regarded +her landlady's niece as being connected irrevocably with the property, +she addressed them as though the estate were a joint affair. + +'I shan't be here to trouble you long that I shan't, Miss Clara,' said +the old woman. + +'I am sure Captain Aylmer would be very sorry to lose you,' replied +Clara, speaking loud, and close to the poor woman's ear, for she was +deaf. + +'I never looked to live after she was gone, Miss Clara never. No more I +didn't. Deary deary! And I suppose you'll be living at the big house +now; won't ye?' + +'The big house belongs to Captain Aylmer, Mrs Partridge.' She was +driven to bawl out her words, and by no means liked the task. Then +Captain Aylmer said something, but his speech was altogether lost. + +'Oh it belongs to the captain, do it? They told me that was the way of +the will; but I suppose it's all one.' + +'Yes; it's all one,' said Captain Aylmer, gaily. + +'It's not exactly all one, as you call it,' said Clara, attempting to +laugh, but still shouting at the top of her voice. + +'Ah I don't understand; but I hope you'll both live there together and +I hope you'll be as good to the poor as she that is gone. Well, well; I +didn't ever think that I should be still here, while she is lying under +the stones up in the old church!' + +Captain Aylmer had determined that he would ask his question on the way +back from the farm, and now resolved that he might as well begin with +some allusion to Mrs Partridge's words about the house. The afternoon +was bright and cold, and the lane down to the farmhouse had been dried +by the wind, so that the day was pleasant for walking. 'We might as +well go on to the bridge,' he said, as they left the farmyard. 'I +always think that Perivale church looks better from Creevy bridge than +any other point.' Perivale church stood high in the centre of the town, +on an eminence, and was graced with a spire which was declared by the +Perivalians to be preferable to that of Salisbury in proportion, though +it was acknowledged to be somewhat inferior to it in height. The little +river Creevy, which ran through a portion of the suburbs of the town, +and which, as there seen, was hardly more than a ditch, then sloped +away behind Creevy Grange, as the farm of Mrs Partridge was called, and +was crossed by a small wooden bridge, from which there was a view, not +only of the church, but of all that side of the hill on which Mrs +Winterfield's large brick house stood conspicuously. + +So they walked down to Creevy bridge, and, when there, stood leaning on +the parapet and looking back upon the town. + +'How well I know every house and spot in the place as I see them from +here,' he said. + +'A good many of the houses are your own or will be some day; and +therefore you should know them.' + +'I remember, when I used to be here as a boy fishing, I always thought +Aunt Winterfield's house was the biggest house in the county.' + +'It can't be nearly so large as your father's house in Yorkshire.' + +'No; certainly it is not. Aylmer Park is a large place; but the house +does not stretch itself out so wide as that; nor does it stand on the +side of a hill so as to show out its proportions with so much +ostentation. The coach-house and the stables, and the old brewhouse, +seem to come half way down the hill. And when I was a boy I had much +more respect for my aunt's red-brick house in Perivale than I had for +Aylmer Park.' + +'And now it's your own.' + +'Yes; now it's my own and all my respect for it is gone. I used to +think the Creevy the best river in England for fish; but I wouldn't +give a sixpence now for all the perch I ever caught in it.' + +'Perhaps your taste for perch is gone also.' + +'Yes; and my taste for jam. I never believed in the store-room at +Aylmer Park as I did in my aunt's store-room here.' + +'I don't doubt but what it is full now.' + +'I dare say; but I shall never have the curiosity even to inquire. Ah, +dear I wish I knew what to do about the house.' + +'You won't sell it, I suppose?' + +'Not if I could either live in it, or let it. It would be wrong to let +it stand idle.' + +'But you need not decide quite at once.' + +'That's just what I want to do. I want to decide at once.' + +'Then I'm sure I cannot advise you. It seems to me very unlikely that +you should come and live here by yourself. It isn't like a +country-house exactly.' + +'I shan't live there by myself certainly. You heard what Mrs Partridge +said just now.' + +'What did Mrs Partridge say?' + +'She wanted to know whether it belonged to both of us, and whether it +was not all one. Shall it be all one, Clara?' + +She was leaning over the rail of the bridge as he spoke, with her eyes +fixed on the slowly moving water. When she heard his words she raised +her face and looked full upon him. She was in some sort prepared for +the moment, though it would be untrue to say that she had now expected +it. Unconsciously she had made some resolve that if ever the question +were put to her by him, she would not be taken altogether off her +guard; and now that the question was put to her, she was able to +maintain her composure. Her first feeling was one of triumph as it must +be in such a position to any woman who has already acknowledged to +herself that she loves the man who then asks her to be his wife. She +looked up into Captain Aylmer's face and his eye almost quailed beneath +hers. Even should he be triumphant, he was not perfectly assured that +his triumph would be a success. + +'Shall what be all one?' she asked. + +'Shall it be in your house and my house? Can you tell me that you will +love me and be my wife?' Again she looked at him, and he repeated his +question. 'Clara, can you love me well enough to take me for your +husband?' + +'I can,' she said. Why should she hesitate, and play the coy girl, and +pretend to any doubts in her mind which did not exist there? She did +love him, and had so told herself with much earnestness. To him, while +his words had been doubtful while he had simply played at making love +to her, she had given no hint of the state of her affections. She had +so carried herself before him as to make him doubt whether success +could be possible for him. But now why should she hesitate now? It was +as she had hoped or as she bad hardly dared to hope. He did love her. +'I can,' she said; and then, before he could speak again, she repeated +her words with more emphasis. 'Indeed I can; with all my heart.' + +As regarded herself, she was quite equal to the occasion; but had she +known more of the inner feelings of men and women in general, she would +have been slower to show her own. What is there that any man desires +any man or any woman that does not lose half its value when it is found +to be easy of access and easy of possession? Wine is valued by its +price, not its flavour. Open your doors freely to Jones and Smith, and +Jones and Smith will not care to enter them. Shut your doors obdurately +against the same gentlemen, and they will use all their little +diplomacy to effect an entrance. Captain Aylmer, when he heard the +hearty tone of the girl's answer, already began almost to doubt whether +it was wise on his part to devote the innermost bin of his cellar to +wine that was so cheap. + +Not that he had any idea of receding. Principle, if not love, prevented +that. 'Then the question about the house is decided,' he said, giving +his hand to Clara as he spoke. + +'I don't care a bit about the house now,' she answered. + +'That's unkind.' + +'I am thinking so much more of you of you and of myself. What does an +old house matter?' + +'It's in very good repair,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'You must not laugh at me,' she said; and in truth he was not laughing +at her. 'What I mean is that anything about a house is indifferent to +me now. It is as though I had got all that I want in the world. Is it +wrong of me to say so?' + +'Oh, dear, no not wrong at all. How can it be wrong?' He did not tell +her that he also had got all he wanted; but his lack of enthusiasm in +this respect did not surprise her, or at first even vex her. She had +always known him to be a man careful of his words knowing their value +not speaking with hurried rashness as would her dear cousin Will. And +she doubted whether, after all, such hurried words mean as much as +words which are slower and calmer. After all his heat in love and +consequent disappointment, Will Belton had left her apparently well +contented. His fervour had been short-lived. She loved her cousin +dearly, and was so very glad that his fervour had been short-lived! + +'When you asked me, I could but tell you the truth,' she said, smiling +at him. + +The truth is very well, but he would have liked it better had the truth +come to him by slower degrees. When his aunt had told him to marry +Clara Amedroz, he had been at once reconciled to the order by a feeling +on his own part that the conquest of Clara would not be too facile. She +was a woman of value, not to be snapped up easily or by any one. So he +had thought then; but he began to fancy now that he had been wrong in +that opinion. + +The walk back to the house was not of itself very exciting, though to +Clara it was a short period of unalloyed bliss. No doubt had then come +upon her to cloud her happiness, and she was 'wrapped up in measureless +content.' It was well that they should both be silent at such a moment. +Only yesterday had been buried their dear old friend the friend who had +brought them together, and been so anxious for their future happiness! +And Clara Amedroz was not a young girl, prone to jump out of her shoes +with elation because she had got a lover. She could be steadily happy +without many immediate words about her happiness. When they reached the +house, and were once more together in the drawing-room, she again gave +him her hand, and was the first to speak. And you; are you contented?' +she asked. Who does not know the smile of triumph with which a girl +asks such a question at such a moment as that? + +'Contented? well yes; I think I am,' he said. + +But even those words did not move her to doubt. 'If you are,' she +said,' I am. And now I will leave you till dinner, that you may think +over what you have done.' + +'I had thought about it before, you know,' he replied. Then he stooped +over her and kissed her. It was the first time he had done so; but his +kiss was as cold and proper as though they had been man and wife for +years! But it sufficed for her, and she went to her room as happy as a +queen. + + +CHAPTER XI + +MISS AMEDROZ IS TOO CANDID BY HALE + +Clara, when she left her accepted lover in the drawing-room and went +up to her own chamber, had two hours for consideration before she would +see him again and she had two hours for enjoyment. She was very happy. +She thoroughly believed in the man who was to be her husband, feeling +confident that he possessed those qualities which she thought to be +most necessary for her married happiness. She had quizzed him at times, +pretending to make it matter of accusation against him that his life +was not in truth all that his aunt believed it to be but had it been +more what Mrs Winterfield would have wished, it would have been less to +Clara's taste. She liked his position in the world; she liked the +feeling that he was a man of influence; perhaps she liked to think that +to some extent he was a man of fashion. He was not handsome, but he +looked always like a gentleman. He was well educated, given to reading, +prudent, steady in his habits, a man likely to rise in the world; and +she loved him. I fear the reader by this time may have begun to think +that her love should never have been given to such a man. To this +accusation I will make no plea at present, but I will ask the +complainant whether such men are not always loved. Much is said of the +rashness of women in giving away their hearts wildly; but the charge +when made generally is, I think, an unjust one. I am more often +astonished by the prudence of girls than by their recklessness. A woman +of thirty will often love well and not wisely; but the girls of twenty +seem to me to like propriety of demeanour, decency of outward life, and +a competence. It is, of course, good that it should be so; but if it is +so, they should not also claim a general character for generous and +passionate indiscretion, asserting as their motto that Love shall still +be Lord of All. Clara was more than twenty; but she was not yet so far +advanced in age as to have lost her taste for decency of demeanour and +propriety of life. A Member of Parliament, with a small house near +Eaton Square, with a moderate income, and a liking for committees, who +would write a pamphlet once every two years, and read Dante critically +during the recess, was, to her, the model for a husband. For such a one +she would read his blue books, copy his pamphlets, and learn his +translations by heart. She would be safe in the hands of such a man, +and would know nothing of the miseries which her brother bad +encountered. Her model may not appear, when thus described, to be a +very noble one; but I think it is the model most approved among ladies +of her class in England. + +She made up her mind on various points during those two hours of +solitude. In the first place, she would of course keep her purpose of +returning home on the following day. It was not probable that Captain +Aylmer would ask her to change it; but let him ask ever so much it must +not be changed. She must at once have the pleasure of telling her +father that all his trouble about her would now be over; and then, +there was the consideration that her further sojourn in the house, with +Captain Aylmer as her lover, would hardly be more proper than it would +have been bad he not occupied that position. And what was she to say if +he pressed her as to the time of their marriage? Her aunt's death would +of course be a sufficient reason why it should be delayed for some few +months; and, upon the whole, she thought it would be best to postpone +it till the next session of Parliament should have nearly expired. But +she would be prepared to yield to Captain Aylmer, should he name any +time after Easter. It was clearly his intention to keep up the house in +Perivale as his country residence. She did not like Perivale or the +house, but she would say nothing against such am arrangement. Indeed, +with what face could she do so? She was going to bring nothing to the +common account absolutely nothing but herself! As she thought of this +her love grew warmer, and she hardly knew how sufficiently to testify +to herself her own gratitude and affection. + +She became conscious, as she was preparing herself for dinner, of some +special attention to her toilet. She was more than ordinarily careful +with her hair, and felt herself to be aware of an anxiety to look her +best. She had now been for some time so accustomed to dress herself in +black, that in that respect her aunt's death had made no difference to +her. Deep mourning had ceased from habit to impress her with any +special feeling of funereal solemnity. But something about herself, or +in the room, at last struck her with awe, bidding her remember how +death had of late been busy among those who had been her dearest and +nearest friends; and she sat down, almost frightened at her own +heartlessness, in that she was allowing herself to be happy at such a +time. Her aunt had been carried away to her grave only yesterday, and +her brother's death had occurred under circumstances of peculiar +distress within the year and yet she was happy, triumphant almost lost +in the joy of her own position! She remained for a while in her chair, +with her black dress hanging across her lap, as she argued with herself +as to her own state of mind. Was it a sign of a hard heart within her, +that she could be happy at such a time? Ought the memory of her poor +brother to have such an effect upon her as to make any joy of spirits +impossible to her? Should she at the present moment be so crushed by +her aunt's demise, as to be incapable of congratulating herself upon +her own success? Should she have told him, when he asked her that +question upon the bridge, that there could be no marrying or giving in +marriage between them, no talking on such a subject in days so full of +sorrow as these? I do not know that she quite succeeded in recognizing +it as a truth that sorrow should be allowed to bar out no joy that it +does not bar out of absolute necessity by its own weight, without +reference to conventional ideas; that sorrow should never, under any +circumstances, be nursed into activity, as though it were a thing in +itself divine or praiseworthy. I do not know that she followed out her +arguments till she had taught herself that it is the Love that is +divine the Love which, when outraged by death or other severance, +produces that sorrow which man would control if he were strong enough, +but which he cannot control by reason of the weakness of his humanity. +I doubt whether so much as this made itself plain to her, as she sat +there before her toilet table, with her sombre dress hanging from her +hands on to the ground. But something of the strength of such reasoning +was hers. Knowing herself to be full of joy, she would not struggle to +make herself believe that it behoved her to be unhappy. She told +herself that she was doing what was good for others as well as for +herself what would be very good for her father, and what should be +good, if it might be within her power to make it so, for him who was to +be her husband. The blackness of the cloud of her brother's death would +never altogether pass away from her. It had tended, as she knew well, +to make her serious, grave, and old, in spite of her own efforts to the +contrary. The cloud had been so black with her that it had nearly lost +for her the prize which was now her own. But she told herself that that +blackness was an injury to her, and not a benefit, and that it had now +become a duty to her for his sake, if not for her own to dispel its +shadows rather than encourage them. She would go down to him full of +joy, though not full of mirth, and would confess to him frankly, that +in receiving the assurance of his love, she had received everything +that had seemed to have any value for her in the world. + +Hitherto she had been independent she had specially been careful to +show to him her resolve to be independent of him. Now she would put +aside all that, and let him know that she recognized in him her lord +and master as well as husband. To her father had been left no strength +on which she could lean, and she had been forced therefore to trust to +her own strength. Now she would be dependent on him who was to be her +husband. As heretofore she had rejected his offers of assistance almost +with disdain, so now would she accept them without scruple, looking to +him to be her guide in all things, putting from her that carping spirit +in which she had been wont to judge of his actions, and believing in +him as a wife should believe in her husband. + +Such were the resolutions which Clara made in the first hour of +solitude which came to her after her engagement; and they would have +been wise resolutions but for this flaw that the stronger was +submitting itself to the weaker, the greater to the less, the more +honest to the less honest, that which was nearly true to that which was +in great part false. The theory of man and wife that special theory in +accordance with which the wife is to bend herself in loving submission +before her husband is very beautiful; and would be good altogether if +it could only be arranged that the husband should be the stronger and +the greater of the two. The theory is based upon that hypothesis and +the hypothesis sometimes fails of confirmation. In ordinary marriages +the vessel rights itself, and the stronger and the greater takes the +lead, whether clothed in petticoats, or in coat, waistcoat, and +trousers; but there sometimes comes a terrible shipwreck, when the +woman before marriage has filled herself full with ideas of submission, +and then finds that her golden. headed god has got an iron body and +feet of clay. + +Captain Aylmer, when he was left alone, had also something to think +about; and as there were two hours left for such thought before he +would again meet Clara, and as he had nothing else with which to occupy +himself during those two hours, he again strolled down to the bridge on +which be had made his offer. He strolled down there, thinking that he +was thinking, but hardly giving much mind to his thoughts, which he +allowed to run away with themselves as they listed. Of course he was +going to be married. That was a thing settled. And he was perfectly +satisfied with himself in that he had done nothing in a hurry, and +could accuse himself of no folly even if he had no great cause for +triumph. He had been long thinking that he should like to have Clara +Amedroz for his wife long thinking that he would ask her to marry him; +and having for months indulged such thoughts, he could not take blame +to himself for having made to his aunt that deathbed promise which she +had exacted. At the moment in which she asked him the question he was +himself anxious to do the thing she desired of him. How then could be +have refused her? And, having given the promise, it was a matter of +course with him to fulfil it. He was a man who would have never +respected himself again would have hated himself for ever, had he +failed to keep a promise from which no living being could absolve him. +He had been right therefore to make the promise, and having made it, +had been right to keep it, and to do the thing at once. And Clara was +very good and very wise, and sometimes looked very well, and would +never disgrace him; and as she was in worldly matters to receive much +and give nothing, she would probably be willing to make herself +amenable to any arrangements as to their future mode of life which he +might propose. In respect of this matter he was probably thinking of +lodgings for himself in London during the parliamentary session, while +she remained alone in the big red house upon which his eyes were fixed +at the time. There was much of convenience in all this, which might +perhaps atone to him for the sacrifice which he was undoubtedly making +of himself. Had marriage simply been of itself a thing desirable, he +could doubtless have disposed of himself to better advantage. His +prospects, present fortune, and general position were so favourable, +that he might have dared to lift his expectations, in regard both to +wealth and rank, very high. The Aylmers were a considerable people, and +he, though a younger brother, bad much more than a younger brother's +portion. His seat in Parliament was safe; his position in society was +excellent and secure; he was exactly so placed that marriage with a +fortune was the only thing wanting to put the finishing coping-stone to +his edifice that, and perhaps also the useful glory of having some Lady +Mary or Lady Emily at the top of his table. Lady Emily Aylmer? Yes it +would have sounded better, and there was a certain Lady Emily who might +have suited. Now, as some slight regrets stole upon him gently, he +failed to remember that this Lady Emily had not a shilling in the world. + +Yes; some faint regrets did steal upon him, though he went on telling +himself that he had acted rightly. His stars, which were generally very +good to him, had not perhaps on this occasion been as good as usual. No +doubt he had to a certain degree become encumbered with Clara Amedroz. +Had not the direct and immediate leap with which she had come into his +arms shown him somewhat too plainly that one word of his mouth tending +towards matrimony had been regarded by her as being too valuable to be +lost? The fruit that falls easily from the tree, though it is ever the +best, is never valued by the gardener. Let him have well-nigh broken +his neck in gathering it, unripe and crude, from the small topmost +boughs of the branching tree, and the pippin will be esteemed by him as +invaluable. On that morning, as Captain Aylmer had walked home from +church, he had doubted much what would be Clara's answer to him. Then +the pippin was at the end of the dangerous bough. Now it had fallen to +his feet, and he did not scruple to tell himself that it was his and +always might have been his as a matter of course. Well, the apple had +come of a good kind, and, though there might be specks upon it, though +it might not be fit for any special glory of show or pride of place +among the dessert service, still it should be garnered and used, and no +doubt would be a very good apple for eating. Having so concluded, +Captain Aylmer returned to the house, washed his hands, changed his +boots, and went down to the drawing-room just as dinner was ready. + +She came up to him almost radiant with joy, and put her hand upon his +arm. 'Martha did not know but what you were here,' she said, 'and told +them to put dinner on the table.' + +'I hope I have not kept you waiting.' + +'Oh, dear, no. And what if you did? Ladies never care about things +getting cold. It is gentlemen only who have feelings in such matters as +that.' + +'I don't know that there is much difference; but, however ' Then they +were in the dining-room, and as the servant remained there during +dinner, there was nothing in their conversation worth repeating. After +dinner they still remained down-stairs, seating themselves on the two +sides of the fire, Clara having fully resolved that she would not on +such an evening as this leave Captain Aylmer to drink his glass of port +wine by himself. + +'I suppose I may stay with you, mayn't I?' she said. + +'Oh, dear, yes; I'm sure I'm very much obliged. I'm not at all wedded +to solitude.' Then there was a slight pause. + +'That's lucky,' she said 'as you have made up your mind to be wedded in +another sort of way.' Her voice as she spoke was very low, but there +was a gentle ring of restrained joyousness in it which ought to have +gone at once to his heart and made him supremely blessed for the time. + +'Well yes,' he answered. 'We are in for it now, both of us are we not? +I hope you have no misgivings about it, Clara.' + +'Who? I? I have misgivings! No, indeed. I have no misgivings, Frederic; +no doubts, no scruples, no alloy in my happiness. With me it is all as +I would have it be. Ah; you haven't understood why it has been that I +have seemed to be harsh to you when we have met.' + +'No, I have not,' said he. This was true; but it is true also that it +would have been well that he should be kept in his ignorance. She was +minded, however, to tell him everything, and therefore she went on. + +'I don't know how to tell you; and yet, circumstanced as we are now, it +seems that I ought to tell you everything.' + +'Yes, certainly; I think that,' said Aylmer. He was one of those men +who consider themselves entitled to see, hear, and know every little +detail of a woman's conduct, as a consequence of the circumstances of +his engagement, and who consider themselves shorn of their privilege if +anything be kept back. If any gentleman had said a soft word to Clara +eight years ago, that soft word ought to be repeated to him now. lam +afraid that these particular gentlemen sometimes hear some fibs; and I +often wonder that their own early passages in the tournays of love do +not warn them that it must be so. When James has sat deliciously +through all the moonlit night with his arm round Mary's waist and +afterwards sees Mary led to the altar by John, does it not occur to him +that some John may have also sat with his arm round Anna's waist that +Anna whom he is leading to the altar? These things should not be +inquired into too curiously; but the curiosity of some men on such +matters has no end. For the most part, women like telling only they do +not choose to be pressed beyond their own modes of utterance. 'I should +like to know that I have your full confidence,' said he. + +'You have got my full confidence,' she replied. + +'I mean that you should tell me anything that there is to be told.' + +'It was only this, that I had learned to love you before I thought that +my love would be returned.' + +'Oh was that it?' said Captain Aylmer, in a tone which seemed to imply +something like disappointment. + +'Yes. Fred; that was It. And how could I, under such circumstances, +trust myself to be gentle with you, or to look to you for assistance? +How could I guess then all that I know now?' + +'Of course you couldn't.' + +'And therefore I was driven to be harsh. My aunt used to speak to me +about it.' + +'I don't wonder at that, for she was very anxious that we should be +married.' + +Clara for a moment felt herself to be uncomfortable as she heard these +words, half perceiving that they implied some instigation on the part +of Mrs Winterfield. Could it be that Captain Aylmer's offer had been +made in obedience to a promise? 'Did you know of her anxiety?' she +asked. + +'Well yes; that is to say, I guessed it. It was natural enough that the +same idea should come to her and to me too. Of course, seeing us so +much thrown together, she could not but think of our being married as a +chance upon the cards.' + +'She used to tell me that I was harsh to you abrupt, she called it. But +what could I do? I'll tell you, Fred, how I first found out that I +really cared for you. What I tell you now is of course a secret; and I +should speak of it to no one under any circumstances but those which +unite us two together. My Cousin Will, when he was at Belton, made me +an offer.' + +'He did, did he? You did not tell me that when you were saying all +those fine things in his praise in the railway carriage.' + +Of course I did not. Why should I? I wasn't bound to tell you my +secrets then, sir.' + +'But did he absolutely offer to you?' + +'Is there anything so wonderful in that? But, wonderful or not, he did.' + +'And you refused him?' + +'I refused him certainly.' + +'It wouldn't have been a bad match, if all that you say about his +property is true.' + +'If you come to that, it would have been a very good match; and perhaps +you think I was silly to decline it?' + +'I don't say that.' + +'Papa thought so but, then, I couldn't tell papa the whole truth, as I +can tell it to you now, Captain Aylmer. I couldn't tell dear papa that +my heart was not my own to give to my Cousin Will; nor could I give +Will any such reason. Poor Will! I could only say to him bluntly that I +wouldn't have him.' + +'And you would, if it hadn't been hadn't been for me.' + +'Nay, Fred; there you tax me too far. What might have come of my heart +if you hadn't fallen in my way, who can say? I love Will Belton dearly, +and hope that you may do so' + +'I must see him first.' + +'Of course but, as I was saying, I doubt whether, under any +circumstances, he would have been the man I should have chosen for a +husband. But as it was it was impossible. Now you know it all, and I +think that I have been very frank with you.' + +'Oh! very frank.' He would not take her little jokes, nor understand +her little prettinesses. That he was a man not prone to joking she knew +well, but still it went against the grain with her to find that be was +so very hard in his replies to her attempts. + +It was not easy for Clara to carry on the conversation after this, so +she proposed that they should go upstairs into the drawing-room. Such a +change even as that would throw them into a different way of talking, +and prevent the necessity of any further immediate allusion to Will +Belton. For Clara was aware, though she hardly knew why, that her +frankness to her future husband had hardly been successful, and she +regretted that she had on this occasion mentioned her cousin's name. +They went upstairs and again sat themselves in chairs over the fire; +but for a while conversation did not seem to come to them freely. Clara +felt that it was now Captain Aylmer's turn to begin, and Captain Aylmer +felt that he wished he could read the newspaper. He had nothing in +particular that he desired to say to his lady-love. That morning, as he +was shaving himself, he had something to say that was very particular +as to which he was at that moment so nervous, that he had cut himself +slightly through the trembling of his hand. But that had now been said, +and he was nervous no longer. That had now been said, and the thing +settled so easily, that he wondered at his own nervousness. He did not +know that there was anything that required much further immediate +speech. Clara had thought somewhat of the time which might be proposed +for their marriage, making some little resolves, with which the reader +is already acquainted; but no ideas of this kind presented themselves +to Captain Aylmer. He had asked his cousin to be his wife, thereby +making good his promise to his aunt. There could be no further +necessity for pressing haste. Sufficient for the day is the evil +thereof. + +It is not to be supposed that the thriving lover actually spoke to +himself in such language as that or that he confessed to himself that +Clara Amedroz was an evil to him rather than a blessing. But his +feelings were already so far tending in that direction, that he was by +no means disposed to make any further promise, or to engage himself in +closer connexion with matrimony by the mention of any special day. +Clara, finding that her companion would not talk without encouragement +from her, had to begin again, and asked all those natural questions +about his family, his brother, his sister, his home habits, and the old +house in Yorkshire, the answers to which must be so full of interest to +her. But even on these subjects he was dry, and in-disposed to answer +with the full copiousness of free communication which she desired. And +at last there came a question and an answer a word or two on one side, +and then a word or two on the other, from which Clara got a wound which +was very sore to her. + +'I have always pictured to myself,' she said 'your mother as a woman +who has been very handsome.' + +'She is still a handsome woman, though she is over sixty.' + +'Tall, I suppose?' + +'Yes, tall, and with something of of what shall I say dignity, about +her.' + +'She is not grand, I hope?' + +'I don't know what you call grand.' + +'Not grand in a bad sense I'm sure she is not that. But there are some +ladies who seem to stand so high above the level of ordinary females as +to make us who are ordinary quite afraid of them.' + +'My mother is certainly not ordinary,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'And I am,' said Clara, laughing. 'I wonder what she'll say to me or, +rather, what she will think of me.' Then there was a moment's silence, +after which Clara, still laughing, went on. 'I see, Fred, that you have +not a word of encouragement to give me about your mother.' + +'She is rather particular,' said Captain Aylmer. + +Then Clara drew herself up, and ceased to laugh. She had called herself +ordinary with that half- insincere depreciation of self which is common +to all of us when we speak of our own attributes, but which we by no +means intend that they who hear us shall accept as strictly true, or +shall re-echo as their own approved opinions. But in this instance +Captain Aylmer, though he had not quite done that, had done almost as +bad. + +'Then I suppose I had better keep out of her way,' said Clara, by no +means laughing as she spoke. + +'Of course when we are married you must go and see her.' + +'You do not, at any rate, promise me a very agreeable visit, Fred. But +I dare say I shall survive it. After all, it is you that I am to marry, +and not your mother; and as long as you are not majestic to me, I need +not care for her majesty.' + +'I don't know what you mean by majesty.' + +'You must confess that you speak of her as of something very terrible.' + +'I say that she is particular and so she is. And as my respect for her +opinion is equal to my affection for her person, I hope that you will +make a great effort to gain her esteem.' + +'I never make any efforts of that kind. If esteem doesn't come without +efforts it isn't worth having.' + +'There I disagree with you altogether but I especially disagree with +you as you are speaking about my mother, and about a lady who is to +become your own mother-in-law. I trust that you will make such efforts, +and that you will make them successfully. Lady Aylmer is not a woman +who will give you her heart at once, simply because you have become her +son's wife. She will judge you by your own qualities and will not +scruple to condemn you should she see cause.' + +Then there was a longer silence, and Clara's heart was almost in +rebellion even on this, the first day of her engagement. But she +quelled her high spirit, and said no further word about Lady Aylmer. +Nor did she speak again till she had enabled herself to smile as she +spoke. + +'Well, Fred,' she said, putting her hand upon his arm, 'I'll do my +best, and woman can do no more. And now I'll say good-night, for I must +pack for tomorrow's journey before I go to bed.' Then he kissed her +with a cold, chilling kiss and she left him for the night. + + +CHAPTER XII + +MISS AMEDROZ RETURNS HOME + +Clara was to start by a train leaving Perivale at eight on the +following morning, and therefore there was not much time for +conversation before she went. During the night she had endeavoured so +to school herself as to banish from her breast all feelings of anger +against her lover, and of regret as regarded herself. Probably, as she +told herself, she had made more of what he had said than he had +intended that she should do; and then, was it not natural that he +should think much of his mother, and feel anxious as to the way in +which she might receive his wife. As to that feeling of anger on her +own part, she did get quit of it; but the regret was not to be so +easily removed. It was not only what Captain Aylmer had said about his +mother that clung to her, doing much to quench her joy; but there had +been a coldness in his tone to her throughout the evening which she +recognized almost unconsciously, and which made her heart heavy in +spite of the joy which she repeatedly told herself ought to be her own. +And she also felt though she was not clearly aware that she did so that +his manner towards her had become less affectionate, less like that of +a lover, since the honest tale she had told him of her own early love +for him. She should have been less honest, and more discreet; less +bold, and more like in her words to the ordinary run of women. She had +known this as she was packing last night, and she told herself that it +was so as she was dressing on this her last morning at Perivale. That +frankness of hers had not been successful, and she regretted that she +had not imposed on herself some little reticence or even a little of +that coy pretence of indifference which is so often used by ladies when +they are wooed. She had been boldly honest, and had found her honesty +to be bad policy. She thought, at least, that she had found its policy +to be bad. Whether in truth it may not have been very good have been +the best policy in the world tending to give her the first true +intimation which she had ever yet received of the real character of the +man who was now so much to her that is altogether another question. + +But it was clearly her duty to make the best of her present +circumstances, and she went down-stairs with a smiling face and with +pleasant words on her tongue. When she entered the breakfast-room +Captain Aylmer was there; but Martha was there also, and her pleasant +words were received indifferently in the presence of the servant. When +the old woman was gone, Captain Aylmer assumed a grave face, and began +a serious little speech which he had prepared. But he broke down in the +utterance of it, and was saying things very different from what he had +intended before he had completed it. + +'Clara,' he began, 'what occurred between us yesterday is a source of +great satisfaction to me.' + +'I am glad of that, Frederick,' said she, trying to be a little less +serious than her lover. + +'Of very great satisfaction,' he continued; 'and I cannot but think +that we were justified by the circumstances of our position in +forgetting for a time the sad solemnity of the occasion. When I +remember that it was but the day before yesterday that I followed my +dear old aunt to the grave, I am astonished to think that yesterday I +should have made an offer of marriage.' + +What could be the good of his talking in this strain? Clara, too, had +had her own misgivings on the same subject little qualms of conscience +that had come to her as she remembered her old friend in the silent +watches of the night; but such thoughts were for the silent watches, +and not for open expression in the broad daylight. But he had paused, +and she must say something. + +'One's excuse to oneself is this that she would have wished it so.' + +'Exactly. She would have wished it. Indeed she did wish it, and +therefore ' He paused in what he was saying, and felt himself to be on +difficult ground. Her eye was full upon him, and she waited for a +moment or two as though expecting that he would finish his words. But +as he did not go on, she finished them for him. + +'And therefore you sacrificed your own feelings.' Her heart was +becoming sore, and she was unable to restrain the utterance of her +sarcasm. + +'Just so,' said he; 'or, rather, not exactly that. I don't mean that I +am sacrificed; for, of course, as I have just now said, nothing as +regards myself can be more satisfactory. But yesterday should have been +a solemn day to us; and as it was not' + +'I thought it very solemn.' + +'What I mean is that I find an excuse in remembering that I was doing +what she asked me to do.' + +'What she asked you to do, Fred?' + +'What I had promised, I mean.' + +'What you had promised? I did not hear that before.' These last words +were spoken in a very low voice, but they went direct to Captain +Aylmer's ears. + +'But you have heard me declare,' he said, 'that as regards myself +nothing could be more satisfactory.' + +'Fred,' she said, 'listen to me for a moment. You and I engaged +ourselves to each other yesterday as man and wife.' + +'Of course we did.' + +'Listen to me, dear Fred. In doing that there was nothing in my mind +unbefitting the sadness of the day. Even in death we must think of +life, and if it were well for you and me that we should be together it +would surely have been but a foolish ceremony between us to have +abstained from telling each other that it would be so because my aunt +had died last week. But it may be, and I think it is the case, that the +feelings arising from her death have made us both too precipitate.' + +'I don't understand how that can be.' + +'You have been anxious to keep a promise made to her, without +considering sufficiently whether in doing so you would secure your own +happiness; and I' + +'I don't know about you, but as regards myself I must be considered to +be the best judge.' + +'And I have been too much in a hurry in believing that which I wished +to believe.' + +'What do you mean by all this, Clara?' + +'I mean that our engagement shall be at an end; not necessarily so for +always. But that as an engagement binding us both, it shall for the +present cease to exist. You shall be again free' + +'But I don't choose to be free.' + +'When you think of it you will find it best that it should be so. You +have performed your promise honestly, even though at a sacrifice to +yourself. Luckily for you for both of us, I should say the full truth +has come out; and we can consider quietly what will be best for us to +do, independently of that promise. We will part, therefore, as dear +friends but not as engaged to each other as man and wife.' + +'But we are engaged, and I will not hear of its being broken.' + +'A lady's word, Fred, is always the most potential before marriage; and +you must therefore yield to me in this matter. I am sure your judgment +will approve of my decision when you think of it. There shall be no +engagement between us. I shall consider myself quite free free to do as +I please altogether; and you, of course, will be free also.' + +'If you please, of course it must be so.' + +'I do please, Fred.' + +'And yesterday, then, is to go for nothing.' + +'Not exactly. It cannot go for nothing with me. I told you too many of +my secrets for that. But nothing that was done or said yesterday is to +be held as binding upon either of us.' + +'And you made up your mind to that last night?' + +'It is at any rate made up to that now. Come I shall have to go without +my breakfast if I do not eat it at once. Will you have your tea now, or +wait and take it comfortably when I am gone?' + +Captain Aylmer breakfasted with her, and took her to the station, and +saw her off with all possible courtesy and attention, and then he +walked back by himself to his own great house in Perivale. Not a word +more had been said between him and Clara as to their engagement, and he +recognized it as a fact that he was no longer bound to her as her +future husband. Indeed, he had no power of not recognizing the fact, so +decided had been her language, and so imperious her manner It had been +of no avail that he had said that the engagement should stand. She had +told him that her voice was to be the more potential, and he had felt +that it was so. Well might it not be best for him that it should be so? +He had kept his promise to his aunt, and bad done all that lay in his +power to make Clara Amedroz his wife. If she chose to rebel against her +own good fortune simply because he spoke to her a few words which +seemed to him to be fitting, might it not be well for him to take her +at her word? + +Such were his first thoughts; but as the day wore on with him, +something more generous in his nature came to his aid, and something +also that was akin to real love. Now that she was no longer his own, he +again felt a desire to have her. Now that there would be again +something to be done in winning her, he was again stirred by a man's +desire to do that something. He ought not to have told her of the +promise. He was aware that what he had said on that point had been +dropped by him accidentally, and that Clara's resolution after that had +not been unnatural. He would, therefore, give her another chance, and +resolved before he went to bed that night that he would allow a +fortnight to pass away, and would then write to her, renewing his offer +with all the strongest declarations of affection which he would be +enabled to make. + +Clara on her way home was not well satisfied with herself or with her +position. She had had great joy, during the few hours of joy which had +been hers, in thinking of the comfort which her news would give to her +father. He would be released from all further trouble on her account by +the tidings which she would convey to him by the tidings which she had +intended to convey to him. But now the story which she would have to +tell would by no means be comfortable. She would have to explain to him +that her aunt had left no provision for her, and that would be the +beginning and the end of her story. As for those conversations about +the fifteen hundred pounds of them she would say nothing. When she +reflected on what had taken place between herself and Captain Aylmer +she was more resolved than ever that she would not touch any portion of +that money or of any money that should come from him. Nor would she +tell her father anything of the marriage engagement which had been made +on one day and unmade on the next. Why should she add to his distress +by showing him what good things might have been hers had she only had +the wit to keep them? No; she would tell her father simply of the will, +and then comfort him in his affliction as best she might. + +As regarded her position with Captain Aylmer, the more she thought of +it the more sure she became that everything was over in that quarter. +She had, indeed, told him that such need not necessarily be the case +but this she had done in her desire at the moment to mitigate the +apparent authoritativeness of her own decision, rather than with any +idea of leaving the matter open for further consideration. She was sure +that Captain Aylmer would be glad of a means of escape, and that he +would not again place himself in the jeopardy which the promise exacted +from him by his aunt had made so nearly fatal to him. And for herself, +though she still loved the man so loved him that she lay back in the +corner of her carriage weeping behind her veil as she thought of what +she had lost still she would not take him, though he should again press +his suit upon her with all the ardour at his command. No, indeed. No +man should ever be made to regard her as a burden imposed upon him by +an extorted promise! What! let a man sacrifice himself to a sense of +duty on her behalf! And then she repeated the odious words to herself, +till she came to think that it had fallen from his lips and not from +her own. + +In writing to her father from Perivale, she had merely told him of Mrs +Winterfield's death and of her own intended return. At the Taunton +station she met the well-known old fly and the well-known old driver, +and was taken home in the accustomed manner. As she drew nearer to +Belton the sense of her distress became stronger and stronger, till at +last she almost feared to meet her father. What could she say to him +when he should repeat to her, as be would be sure to do, his +lamentation as to her future poverty? + +On arriving at the house she learned that he was upstairs in his +bedroom. He had been ill, the servant said, and though he was not now +in bed, he had not come down-stairs. So she ran up to his room, and +finding him seated in an old arm-chair by the fire-side, knelt down at +his feet, as she took his hand and asked him as to his health. + +'What has Mrs Winterfield done for you in her will?' These were the +first words he spoke to her. + +'Never mind about wills now, papa. I want you to tell me of yourself.' + +'Nonsense, Clara. Answer my question.' + +'Oh, papa, I wish you would not think so much about money for me.' + +'Not think about it? Why am I not to think about it? What else have I +got to think of? Tell me at once, Clara, what she has done. You ought +to have written to me directly the will was made known.' + +There was no help for her, and the terrible word must be spoken. 'She +has left her property to Captain Aylmer, papa; and I must say that I +think she is right.' + +'You do not mean everything?' + +'She has provided for her servants.' + +'And has made no provision for you?' + +'No, papa.' + +'Do you mean to tell me that she has left you nothing absolutely +nothing?' The old man's manner was altogether altered as he asked the +question; and there came over his face so unusual a look of energy of +the energy of anger that Clara was frightened, and knew not how to +answer him with that tone of authority which she was accustomed to use +when she found it necessary to exercise control over him. 'Do you mean +to say that there is nothing nothing?' And as he repeated the question +he pushed her away from his knees and stood up with an effort, leaning +against the back of his chair. + +'Dear papa, do not let this distress you.' + +'But is it so? Is there in truth nothing?' + +'Nothing, papa. Remember that she was not really my aunt.' + +'Nonsense, child! nonsense! How can you talk such trash to me as that? +And then you tell me not to distress myself! I am to know that you will +be a beggar in a year or two probably in a few months and that is not +to distress me! She has been a wicked woman!' + +'Oh, papa, do not say that.' + +'A wicked woman. A very wicked woman. It is always so with those who +pretend to be more religious than their neighbours. She has been a very +wicked woman, alluring you into her house with false hopes.' + +'No, papa no; I must contradict you. She had given me no grounds for +such hope.' + +'I say she had even though she may not have made a promise. I say she +had. Did not everybody think that you were to have her money?' + +'I don't know what people may have thought. Nobody has had any right to +think about it at all.' + +'That is nonsense, Clara. You know that I expected it that you expected +it yourself.' + +'No no, no!' + +'Clara how can you tell me that?' + +'Papa, I knew that she intended to leave me nothing. She told me so +when I was there in the spring.' + +'She told you so?' + +'Yes, papa. She told me that Frederic Aylmer was to have all her +property. She explained to me everything that she meant to do, and I +thought that she was right.' + +'And why was not I told when you came home?' + +'Dear papa!' + +'Dear papa, indeed. What is the meaning of dear papa? Why have I been +deceived?' + +'What good could I do by telling you? You could not change it.' + +'You have been very undutiful; and as for her, her wickedness and +cruelty shock me shock me. They do, indeed. That she should have known +your position, and had you with her always and then have made such a +will as that! Quite heartless! She must have been quite heartless.' + +Clara now began to find that she must in justice to her aunt's memory +tell her father something more. And yet it would be very difficult to +tell him anything that would not bring greater affliction upon him, and +would not also lead her into deeper trouble. Should it come to pass +that her aunt's intention with reference to the fifteen hundred pounds +was mentioned, she would be subjected to an endless persecution as to +the duty of accepting that money from Captain Aylmer. But her present +feelings would have made her much prefer to beg her bread upon the +roads than accept her late lover's generosity. And then again, how +could she explain to her father Mrs Winterfield's mistake about her own +position without seeming to accuse her father of having robbed her? But +nevertheless she must say something, as Mr Amedroz continued to apply +that epithet of heartless to Mrs Winterfield, going on with it in a low +droning tone, that was more injurious to Clara's ears than the first +full energy of his anger. + +'Heartless quite heartless shockingly heartless shockingly heartless!' + +'The truth is, papa,' Clara said at last, 'that when my aunt told me +about her will, she did not know but what I had some adequate provision +from my own family.' + +'Oh, Clara!' + +'That is the truth, papa for she explained the whole thing to me. I +could not tell her that she was mistaken, and thus ask for her money.' + +'But she knew everything about that poor wretched boy.' And now the +father dropped back into his chair, and buried his face in his hands. + +When he did this Clara again knelt at his feet. She felt that she had +been cruel, and that she had defended her aunt at the cost of her own +father. She had, as it were, thrown in his teeth his own imprudence, +and twitted him with the injuries which he had done to her. 'Papa,' she +said, 'dear papa, do not think about it at all. What is the use? After +all, money is not everything. I care nothing for money. If you will +only agree to banish the subject altogether, we shall be so +comfortable.' + +'How is it to be banished?' + +'At any rate we need not speak of it. Why should we talk on a subject +which is simply uncomfortable, and which we cannot mend?' + +'Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!' And now he swayed himself backwards and +forwards in his chair, bewailing his own condition and hers, and his +past imprudence, while the tears ran down his checks. She still knelt +there at his feet, looking up into his face with loving, beseeching +eyes, praying him to be comforted, and declaring that all would still +be well if he would only forget the subject, or, at any rate, cease to +speak of it. But still he went on wailing, complaining of his lot as a +child complains, and refusing all consolation. 'Yes; I know,' said he, +'it has all been my fault. But how could I help it? What was I to do?' + +'Papa, nobody has said that anything was your fault; nobody has thought +so.' + +'I never spent anything on myself never, never; and yet and yet and yet +!' + +'Look at it with more courage, papa. After all, what harm will it be if +I should have to go out and earn my own bread like any other young +woman? I am not afraid.' + +At last he wept himself into an apathetic tranquillity, as though he +had at present no further power for any of the energy of grief; and she +left him while she went about the house and learned how things had gone +on during her absence. It seemed, from the tidings which the servant +gave her, that he had been ill almost since she had been gone. He had, +at any rate, chosen to take his meals in his own room, and as far as +was remembered, had not once left the house since she had been away. He +had on two or three occasions spoken of Mr Belton, appearing to be +anxious for his coming, and asking questions as to the cattle and the +work that was still going on about the place; and Clara, when she +returned to his room, tried to interest him again about her cousin. But +he had in truth been too much distressed by the ill news as to Mrs +Winterfield's will to be able to rally himself, and the evening that +was spent up in his room was very comfortless to both of them. Clara +had her own sorrows to bear as well as her father's, and could take no +pleasant look out into the world of her own circumstances. She had +gained her lover merely to lose him and had lost him under +circumstances that were very painful to her woman's feeling. Though he +had been for one night betrothed to her as her husband, he had never +loved her. He had asked her to be his wife simply in fulfilment of a +death-bed promise! The more she thought of it the more bitter did the +idea of it become to her. And she could not also but think of her +cousin. Poor Will! He, at any rate, had loved her, though his eagerness +in love had been, as she told herself, but short-lived. As she thought +of him, it seemed but the other day that he had been with her up on the +rock in the park but as she thought of Captain Aylmer, to whom she had +become engaged only yesterday, and from whom she had separated herself +only that morning, she felt that an eternity of time had passed since +she had parted from him. + +On the following day, a dull, dark, melancholy day, towards the end of +November, she went out to saunter about the park, leaving her father +still in his bedroom, and after a while made her way down to the +cottage. She found Mrs Askerton as usual alone in the little +drawing-room, sitting near the window with a book in her hand; but +Clara knew at once that her friend had not been reading that she had +been sitting there looking out upon the clouds, with her mind fixed +upon things far away. The general cheerfulness of this woman had often +been cause of wonder to Clara, who knew how many of her hours were +passed in solitude; but there did occasionally come upon her periods of +melancholy in which she was unable to act up to the settled rule of her +life, and in which she would confess that the days and weeks and months +were too long for her. + +'So you are back,' said Mrs Askerton, as soon as the first greeting was +over. + +'Yes; I am back.' + +'I supposed you would not stay there long after the funeral.' + +'No; what good could I do?' + +'And Captain Aylmer is still there, I suppose?' + +'I left him at Perivale.' + +There was a slight pause, as Mrs Askerton hesitated before she asked +her next question. 'May I be told anything about the will?' she said. + +'The weary will! If you knew how I hated the subject you would not ask +me. But you must not think I hate it because it has given me nothing.' + +'Given you nothing?' + +'Nothing ! But that does not make me hate it. It is the nature of the +subject that is so odious. I have now told you all everything that +there is to be told, though we were to talk for a week. If you are +generous you will not say another word about it.' + +'But I am so sorry.' + +'There that's it. You won't perceive that the expression of such sorrow +is a personal injury to me. I don't want you to be sorry.' + +'How am I to help it?' + +'You need not express it. I don't come pitying you for supposed +troubles. You have plenty of money; but if you were so poor that you +could eat nothing but cold mutton, I shouldn't condole with you as to +the state of your larder. I should pretend to think that poultry and +piecrust were plentiful with you.' + +'No, you wouldn't, dear not if I were as dear to you as you are to me.' + +'Well, then, be sorry; and let there be an end of it. Remember how much +of all this I must of necessity have to go through with poor papa.' + +'Ah, yes; I can believe that.' + +'And he is so far from well. Of course you have not seen him since I +have been gone.' + +'No; we never see him unless he comes up to the gate there.' Then there +was another pause for a moment. And what about Captain Aylmer?' asked +Mrs Askerton. + +'Well what about him?' + +'He is the heir now?' + +'Yes he is the heir.' + +'And that is all?' + +'Yes; that is all. What more should there be? The poor old house at +Perivale will be shut up, I suppose.' + +'I don't care about the old house much, as it is not to be your house.' + +'No it is not to be my house certainly.' + +'There were two ways in which it might have become yours.' + +'Though there were ten ways, none of those ways have come my way,' said +Clara. + +'Of course I know that you are so close that though there were anything +to tell you would not tell it.' + +'I think I would tell you anything that was proper to be told; but now +there is nothing proper or improper.' + +'Was it proper or improper when Mr Belton made an offer to you as I +knew he would do of course; as I told you that he would? Was that so +improper that it could not be told?' + +Clara was aware that the tell-tale colour in her face at once took from +her the possibility of even pretending that the allegation was untrue, +and that in any answer she might give she must acknowledge the fact. 'I +do not think,' she said, 'that it is considered fair to gentlemen to +tell such stories as that.' + +'Then I can only say that the young ladies I have known are generally +very unfair.' + +'But who told you?' + +'Who told me? My maid. Of course she got it from yours. Those things +are always known.' + +'Poor Will!' + +'Poor Will, indeed. He is coming here again, I hear, almost +immediately, and it needn't be "poor Will" unless you like it. But as +for me, I am not going to be an advocate in his favour. I tell you +fairly that I did not like what little I saw of poor Will.' + +'I like him of all things.' + +'You should teach him to be a little more courteous in his demeanour to +ladies; that is all. I will tell you something else, too, about poor +Will but not now. Some other day I will tell you something of your +Cousin Will.' + +Clara did not care to ask any questions as to this something that was +to be told, and therefore took her leave and went away. + + +CHAPTER XIII + +MR WILLIAM BELTON TAKES A WALK IN THE COUNTRY + +Clara Amedroz had made one great mistake about her cousin, Will +Belton, when she came to the conclusion that she might accept his +proffered friendship without any apprehension that the friend would +become a lover; and she made another, equally great, when she convinced +herself that his love had been as short-lived as it had been eager. +Throughout his journey back to Plaistow, he bad thought of nothing else +but his love, and had resolved to persevere, telling himself sometimes +that he might perhaps be successful, and feeling sure at other times +that he would encounter renewed sorrow and permanent disappointment but +equally resolved in either mood that he would persevere. Not to +persevere in pursuit of any desired object let the object be what it +might was, to his thinking, unmanly, weak, and destructive of +self-respect. He would sometimes say of himself, joking with other men, +that if he did not succeed in this or that thing, he could never speak +to himself again. To no man did he talk of his love in such a strain as +this; but there was a woman to whom he spoke of it; and though he could +not joke on such a matter, the purport of what he said showed the same +feeling. To be finally rejected, and to put up with such rejection, +would make him almost contemptible in his own eyes. + +This woman was his sister, Mary Belton. Something has been already said +of this lady, which the reader may perhaps remember. She was a year or +two older than her brother, with whom she always lived, but she had +none of those properties of youth which belonged to him in such +abundance. She was, indeed, a poor cripple, unable to walk beyond the +limits of her own garden, feeble in health, dwarfed in stature, robbed +of all the ordinary enjoyments of life by physical deficiencies, which +made even the task of living a burden to her. To eat was a pain, or at +best a trouble. Sleep would not comfort her in bed, and weariness +during the day made it necessary that the hours passed in bed should be +very long. She was one of those whose lot in life drives us to marvel +at the inequalities of human destiny, and to inquire curiously within +ourselves whether future compensation is to be given. + +It is said of those who are small and crooked-backed in their bodies, +that their minds are equally cross-grained and their tempers as +ungainly as their stature. But no one had ever said this of Mary +Belton. Her friends, indeed, were very few in number; but those who +knew her well loved her as they knew her, and there were three or four +persons in the world who were ready at all times to swear that she was +faultless. It was the great happiness of her life that among those +three or four her own brother was the foremost. Will Belton's love for +his sister amounted almost to veneration, and his devotion to her was +so great, that in all the affairs of his life he was prepared to make +her comfort one of his first considerations. And she, knowing this, had +come to fear that she might be an embargo on his prosperity, and a +stumbling-block in the way of his success. It had occurred to her that +he would have married earlier in life if she had not been, as it were, +in his way; and she had threatened him playfully for she could be +playful that he would leave him if he did not soon bring a mistress to +Plaistow Hall. 'I will go to uncle Robert,' she had said. Now uncle +Robert was the clergyman in Lincolnshire of whom mention has been made, +and he was among those two or three who believed in Mary Belton with an +implicit faith as was also his wife. ' I will go to uncle Robert, Will, +and then you will be driven to get a wife.' + +'If my sister ever leaves my house, whether there be a wife in it or +not,' Will had answered, 'I will never put trust in any woman again.' + +Plaistow Manor-house or Hall was a fine brick mansion, built in the +latter days of Tudor house architecture, with many gables and countless +high chimneys very picturesque to the eye, but not in all respects +comfortable as are the modern houses of the well-to-do squirearchy of +England. And, indeed, it was subject to certain objectionable +characteristics which in some degree justified the scorn which Mr +Amedroz intended to throw upon it when he declared it to be a +farm-house. The gardens belonging to it were large and excellent; but +they did not surround it, and allowed the farm appurtenances to come +close up to it on two sides. The door which should have been the front +door, opening from the largest room in the house, which had been the +hall and which was now the kitchen, led directly into the farm-yard. +From the farther end of this farm-yard a magnificent avenue of elms +stretched across the home pasture down to a hedge which crossed it at +the bottom. That there had been a road through the rows of trees or, in +other words, that there had in truth been an avenue to the house on +that side was, of course, certain. But now there was no vestige of such +road, and the front entrance to Plaistow Hall was by a little path +across the garden from a modern road which had been made to run cruelly +near to the house. Such was Plaistow Hall, and such was its mistress. +Of the master, the reader, I hope, already knows so much as to need no +further description. + +As Belton drove himself home from the railway station late on that +August night, he made up his mind that he would tell his sister all his +story about Clara Amedroz. She had ever wished that he should marry, +and now he had made his attempt. Little as had been her opportunity of +learning the ways of men and women from experience in society, she had +always seemed to him to know exactly what every one should do in every +position of life. And she would be tender with him, giving him comfort +even if she could not give him hope. Moreover Mary might be trusted +with his secret; for Belton felt, as men always do feel, a great +repugnance to have it supposed that his suit to a woman had been +rejected. Women, when they have loved in vain, often almost wish that +their misfortune should be known. They love to talk about their wounds +mystically telling their own tales under feigned names, and extracting +something of a bitter sweetness out of the sadness of their own +romance. But a man, when he has been rejected rejected with a finality +that is acknowledged by himself is unwilling to speak or hear a word +upon the subject, and would willingly wash the episode out from his +heart if it were possible. + +But not on that his first night would he begin to speak of Clara +Amedroz. He would not let his sister believe that his heart was too +full of the subject to allow of his thinking of other matters. Mary was +still up, waiting for him when he arrived, with tea, and cream, and +fruit ready for him. 'Oh, Mary!' he said, 'why are you not in bed? You +know that I would have come to you upstairs.' She excused herself, +smiling, declaring that she could not deny herself the pleasure of +being with him for half an hour on his first return from his travels. +'Of course I want to know what they are like,' she said. + +'He is a nice-looking old man,' said Will 'and she is a nice-looking +young woman.' + +'That is graphic and short, at any rate.' + +'And he is weak and silly, but she is strong and and and' + +'Not silly also, I hope?' + +'Anything but that. I should say she is very clever.' + +'I'm afraid you don't like her, Will.' + +'Yes, I do.' + +'Really?' + +'Yes; really.' + +'And did she take your coming well?' + +'Very well. I think she is much obliged to me for going.' + +'And Mr Amedroz?' + +'He liked my coming too very much.' + +'What after that cold letter? + +'Yes, indeed. I shall explain it all by degrees. I have taken a lease +of all the land, and I'm to go back at Christmas; and as to the old +gentleman he'd have me live there altogether if I would.' + +'Why, Will?' + +'Is it not odd? I'm so glad I didn't make up my mind not to go when I +got that letter. And yet I don't know.' These last words he added +slowly, and in a low voice, and Mary at once knew that everything was +not quite as it ought to be. + +'Is there anything wrong, Will?' + +'No, nothing wrong; that is to say, there is nothing to make me regret +that I went. I think I did some good to them.' + +'It was to do good to them that you went there.' + +'They wanted to have some one near them who could be to them as one of +their own family. He is too old too much worn out to be capable of +managing things; and the people there were, of course, robbing him. I +think I have put a stop to that.' + +'And you are to go again at Christmas?' + +'Yes; they can do without me at my uncle's, and you will be there. I +have taken the land, and already bought some of the stock for it, and +am going to buy more.' + +'I hope you won't lose money, Will.' + +'No not ultimately, that is. I shall get the place in good condition, +and I shall have paid myself when he goes, in that way, if in no other. +Besides, what's a little money? I owe it to them for robbing her of her +inheritance.' + +'You do not rob her, Will.' + +'It is hard upon her, though.' + +'Does she feel it hard?' + +'Whatever may be her feelings on such a matter, she is a woman much too +proud to show them.' + +'I wish I knew whether you liked her or not.' + +'I do like her I love her better than any one in the world; better even +than you, Mary; for I have asked her to be my wife.' + +'Oh, Will!' + +'And she has refused me. Now you know the whole of it the whole history +of what I have done while I have been away.' And he stood up before +her, with his thumbs thrust into the arm-holes of his waistcoat, with +something serious and almost solemn in his gait, in spite of a smile +which played about his mouth. + +'Oh, Will!' + +'I meant to have told you, of course, Mary to have told you everything; +but I did not mean to tell it to-night; only it has somehow fallen from +me. Out of the full heart the mouth speaks, they say.' + +'I never can like her if she refuses your love.' + +'Why not? That is unlike you, Mary. Why should she be bound to love me +because I love her?' + +'Is there any one else, Will?' + +'How can I tell? I did not ask her. I would not have asked her for the +world, though I would have given the world to know.' + +'And she is so very beautiful?' + +'Beautiful! It isn't that so much though she is beautiful. But but I +can't tell you why but she is the only girl that I ever saw who would +suit me for a wife. Oh, dear!' + +'My own Will!' + +'But I'm not going to keep you up all night, Mary. And I'll tell you +something else; I'm not going to break my heart for love. Arid I'll +tell you something else again; I'm not going to give it up yet. I +believe I've been a fool. Indeed, I know I've been a fool. I went about +it just as if I were buying a horse, and had told the seller that that +was my price he might take it or leave it. What right had I to suppose +that any girl was to be had in that way; much less such a girl as Clara +Amedroz?' + +'It would have been a great match for her.' + +'I'm not so sure of that, Mary. Her education has been different from +mine, and it may well be that she should marry above me. But I swear I +will not speak another word to you to-night. Tomorrow, if you're well +enough, I'll talk to you all day.' Soon after that he did get her to go +up to her room, though, of course, he broke that oath of his as to not +speaking another word. After that he walked out by moonlight round the +house, wandering about the garden and farm-yard, and down through the +avenue, having in his own mind some pretence of the watchfulness of +ownership, but thinking little of his property and much of his love. +Here was a thing that he desired with all his heart, but it seemed to +be out of his reach absolutely out of his reach. He was sick and weary +with a feeling of longing sick with that covetousness wherewith Ahab +coveted the vineyard of Naboth. What was the world to him if he could +not have this thing on which he had set his heart? He had told his +sister that he would not break his heart; and so much, he did not +doubt, would be true. A man or woman with a broken heart was in his +estimation a man or woman who should die of love; and he did not look +for such a fate as that. But he experienced the palpable misery of a +craving emptiness within his breast, and did believe of himself that he +never could again be in comfort unless he could succeed with Clara +Amedroz. He stood leaning against one of the trees, striking his hands +together, and angry with himself at the weakness which had reduced him +to such a state. What could any man be worth who was so little master +of himself as he had now become? + +After awhile he made his way back through the farm-yard, and in at the +kitchen door, which he locked and bolted; and then, throwing himself +down into a wooden armchair which always stood there, in the corner of +the huge hearth, he took a short pipe from the mantelpiece, filled it +with tobacco, and lighting it almost unconsciously, began to smoke with +vehemence. + +Plaistow Hall was already odious to him, and he longed to be back at +Belton, which he had left only that morning. Yes, on that very morning +she had brought to him his coffee, looking sweetly into his face so +sweetly as she ministered to him. And he might then well have said one +word more in pleading his suit, if he had not been too awkward to know +what that word should be. And was it not his own awkwardness that had +brought him to this state of misery? What right had he to suppose that +any girl should fall in love with such a one as he at first sight +without a moment's notice to her own heart? And then, when he had her +there, almost in his arms, why had he let her go without kissing her? +It seemed to him now that if he might have once kissed her, even that +would have been a comfort to him in his present affliction. 'D tion!' +he said at last, as he jumped to his feet and kicked the chair on one +side, and threw the pipe among the ashes. I trust it will be understood +that he addressed himself, and not his lady-love, in this uncivil way +'D tion!' Then when the chair had been well kicked out of his way, he +took himself up to bed. I wonder whether Clara's heart would have been +hardened or softened towards him had she heard the oath, and understood +all the thoughts and motives which had produced it. + +On the next morning poor Mary Belton was too ill to come down-stairs; +and as her brother spent his whole day out upon the farm, remaining +among reapers and wheat stacks till nine o'clock in the evening, +nothing was said about Clara on that day. Then there came a Sunday, and +it was a matter of course that the subject of which they both were +thinking should be discussed. Will went to church, and, as was their +custom on Sundays, they dined immediately on his return. Then, as the +afternoon was very warm, he took her out to a favourite seat she had in +the garden, and it became impossible that they could longer abstain. + +'And you really mean to go again at Christmas?' she asked. + +'Certainly I shall I promised.' + +'Then I am sure you will.' + +'And I must go from time to time because of the land I have taken. +Indeed there seems to be an understanding that I am to manage the +property for Mr Amedroz.' + +'And does she wish you to go?' + +'Yes she says so.' + +'Girls, I believe, think sometimes that men are indifferent in their +love. They suppose that a man can forget it at once when he is not +accepted, and that things can go on just as before.' + +'I suppose she thinks so of me,' said Belton wofully. + +'She must either think that, or else be willing to give herself the +chance of learning to like you better.' + +'There's nothing of that, I'm sure. She's as true as steel.' + +'But she would hardly want you to go there unless she thought you might +overcome either your love or her indifference. She would not wish you +to be there that you might be miserable.' + +'Before I had asked her to be my wife I had promised to be her brother. +And so I will, if she should ever want a brother. I am not going to +desert her because she will not do what I want her to do, or be what I +want her to be. She understands that. There is to be no quarrel between +us.' + +'But she would be heartless if she were to encourage you to be with her +simply for the assistance you may give her, knowing at the same time +that you could not be happy in her presence.' + +'She is not heartless.' + +'Then she must suppose that you are.' + +'I dare say she doesn't think that I care much about it. When I told +her, I did it all of a heap, you see; and I fancy she thought I was +just mad at the time.' + +'And did you speak about it again?' + +'No; not a word. I shouldn't wonder if she hadn't forgotten it before I +went away.' + +'That would be impossible.' + +'You wouldn't say so if you knew how it was done. It was all over in +half an hour; and she had given me such an answer that I thought I had +no right to say anything more about it. The morning when I left her she +did seem to be kinder.' + +'I wish I knew whether she cares for any one else.' + +'Ah! I so often think of that. But I couldn't ask her, you know. I had +no right to pry into her secrets. When I came away, she got up to see +me off; and I almost felt tempted to carry her into the gig and drive +her off.' + +'I don't think that would have done, Will.' + +'I don't suppose anything will do. We all know what happens to the +child who cries for the top brick of the chimney. The child has to do +without it. The child goes to bed and forgets it; but I go to bed and +can't forget it.' + +'My poor Will!' + +Then he got up and shook himself, and stalked about the garden always +keeping within a few yards of his sister's chair and carried on a +strong battle within his breast, struggling to get the better of the +weakness which his love produced, though resolved that the love itself +should be maintained. + +'I wish it wasn't Sunday,' he said at last, 'because then I could go +and do something. If I thought that no one would see me, I'd fill a +dung-cart or two, even though it is Sunday. I'll tell you what I'll go +and take a walk as far as Denvir Sluice; and I'll be hack to tea. You +won't mind?' + +'Denvir Sluice is eight miles off.' + +'Exactly I'll be there and back in something over three hours.' + +'But, Will there's a broiling sun.' + +'It will do me good. Anything that will take something out of me is +what I want. I know I ought to stay and read to you; but I couldn't do +it. I've got the fidgets inside, if you know what that means. To have +the big hay-rick on fire, or something of that sort, is what would do +me most good.' + +Then he started, and did walk to Denvir Sluice and back in three hours. +The road from Plaistow Hall to Denvir Sluice was not in itself +interesting. It ran through a perfectly flat country, without a tree. +For the greater part of the way it was constructed on the top of a +great bank by the side of a broad dike, and for five miles its course +was straight as a line. A country walk less picturesque could hardly be +found in England. The road, too, was very dusty, and the sun was hot +above Belton's head as he walked. But nevertheless, he persevered, +going on till he struck his stick against the waterfall which was +called Denvir Sluice, and then returned not once slackening his pace, +and doing the whole distance at a rate somewhat above five miles an +hour. They used to say in the nursery that cold pudding is good to +settle a man's love; but the receipt which Belton tried was a walk of +sixteen miles, along a dusty road, after dinner, in the middle of an +August day. + +I think it did him some good. When he got back he took a long draught +of home-brewed beer, and then went upstairs to dress himself. + +'What a state you are in,' Mary said to him when he showed himself for +a moment in the sitting. room. + +'I did it from milestone to milestone in eleven minutes, backwards and +forwards, all along the five- mile reach.' + +Then Mary knew from his answer that the exercise had been of service to +him, perceiving that he had been able to take an interest in his own +prowess as a walker. + +'I only hope you won't have a fever,' she said. + +'The people who stand still are they who get fevers,' he answered. +'Hard work never does harm to any one. If John Bowden would walk his +five miles an hour on a Sunday afternoon he wouldn't have the gout so +often.' + +John Bowden was a neighbour in the next parish, and Mary was delighted +to find that her brother could take a pride in his performance. + +By degrees Miss Belton began to know with some accuracy the way in +which Will had managed his affairs at Belton Castle, and was enabled to +give him salutary advice. + +'You see, Will,' she said, 'ladies are different from men in this, that +they cannot allow themselves to be in love so suddenly.' + +'I don't see how a person is to help it. It isn't like jumping into a +river, which a person can do or not, just as he pleases.' + +'But I fancy it is something like jumping into a river, and that a +person can help it. What the person can't help is being in when the +plunge has once been made.' + +'No, by George! There's no getting out of that river.' + +'And ladies don't take the plunge till they've had time to think what +may come after it. Perhaps you were a little too sudden with our Cousin +Clara?' + +'Of course I was. Of course I was a fool, and a brute too.' + +'I know you were not a brute, and I don't think you were a fool; but +yet you were too sudden. You see a lady cannot always make up her mind +to love a man, merely because she is asked all in a moment. She should +have a little time to think about it before she is called upon for an +answer.' + +'And I didn't give her two minutes.' + +'You never do give two minutes to anyone do you, Will? But you'll be +back there at Christmas, and then she will have had time to turn it +over in her mind.' + +'And you think that I may have a chance?' + +'Certainly you may have a chance.' + +'Although she was so sure about it?' + +'She spoke of her own mind and her own heart as she knew them then. But +it depends chiefly on this, Will whether there is any one else. For +anything we know, she may be engaged now.' + +'Of course she may.' Then Belton speculated on the extreme probability +of such a contingency; arguing within his own heart that of course +every unmarried man who might see Clara would want to marry her, and +that there could not but be some one whom even she would be able to +love. + +When he had been home about a fortnight, there came a letter to him +from Clara, which was a great treasure to him. In truth, it simply told +him of the completion of the cattle-shed, of her father's health, and +of the milk which the little cow gave; but she signed herself his +affectionate cousin, and the letter was very gratifying to him. There +were two lines of a postscript, which could not but flatter him: 'Papa +is so anxious for Christmas, that you may be here again and so, indeed, +am I also.' Of course it will be understood that this was written +before Clara's visit to Perivale, and before Mrs Winterfield's death. +Indeed, much happened in Clara's history between the writing of that +letter and Will Belton's winter visit to the Castle. + +But Christmas came at last, all too slowly for Will and he started on +his journey. On this occasion he arranged to stay a week in London, +having a lawyer there whom he desired to see; and thinking, perhaps, +that a short time spent among the theatres might assist him in his love +troubles. + + +CHAPTER XIV + +MR WILLIAM BELTON TAKES A WALK IN LONDON + +At the time of my story there was a certain Mr Green, a worthy +attorney, who held chambers in Stone Buildings, Lincoln's Inn, much to +the profit of himself and family and to the profit and comfort also of +a numerous body of clients a man much respected in the neighbourhood of +Chancery Lane, and beloved, I do not doubt, in the neighbourhood of +Bushey, in which delightfully rural parish he was possessed of a +genteel villa and ornamental garden. With Mr Green's private residence +we shall, I believe, have no further concern; but to him at his +chambers in Stone Buildings I must now introduce the reader of these +memoirs. He was a man not yet forty years of age, with still much of +the salt of youth about him, a pleasant companion as well as a good +lawyer, and one who knew men and things in London, as it is given to +pleasant clever fellows, such as Joseph Green, to know them. Now Mr +Green and his father before him had been the legal advisers of the +Amedroz family, and our Mr Joseph Green had had but a bad time of it +with Charles Amedroz in the last years of that unfortunate young man's +life. But lawyers endure these troubles, submitting themselves to the +extravagances, embarrassments, and even villainy of the bad subjects +among their clients' families, with a good-humoured patience that is +truly wonderful. That, however, was all over now as regarded Mr Green +and the Amedrozes, and he had nothing further to do but to save for the +father what relics of the property he might secure. And he was also +legal adviser to our friend Will Belton, there having been some old +family connexion among them, and had often endeavoured to impress upon +his old client at Belton Castle his own strong conviction that the heir +was a generous fellow, who might be trusted in everything. But this had +been taken amiss by the old squire, who, indeed, was too much disposed +to take all things amiss and to suspect everybody. 'I understand,' he +had said to his daughter. 'I know all about it. Belton and Mr Green +have been dear friends always. I can't trust my own lawyer any longer.' +In all which the old squire showed much ingratitude. It will, however, +be understood that these suspicions were rife before the time of +Belton's visit to the family estate. + +Some four or five days before Christmas there came a visitor to Mr +Green with whom the reader is acquainted, and who was no less a man +than the Member for Perivale. Captain Aylmer, when Clara parted from +him on the morning of her return to Belton Castle, had resolved that he +would repeat his offer of marriage by letter. A month had passed by +since then, and he had not as yet repeated it. But his intention was +not altered. He was a deliberate man, who did not do such things quite +as quickly as his rival, and who upon this occasion had thought it +prudent to turn over more than once in his mind all that he proposed to +do. Nor had he as yet taken any definite steps as to that fifteen +hundred pounds which he had promised to Clara in her aunt's name, and +which Clara had been, and was, so unwilling to receive. He had now +actually paid it over, having purchased government stock in Clara's +name for the amount, and had called upon Mr Green, in order that that +gentleman, as Clara's lawyer, might make the necessary communication to +her. + +'I suppose there's nothing further to be done?' asked Captain Aylmer. + +'Nothing further by me,' said the lawyer. 'Of course I shall write to +her, and explain that she must make arrangements as to the interest. I +am very glad that her aunt thought of her in her last moments.' + +'Mrs Winterfield would have provided for her before, had she known that +everything had been swallowed up by that unfortunate young man.' + +'All's well that ends well. Fifteen hundred pounds are better than +nothing.' + +'Is it not enough?' said the captain, blushing. + +'It isn't for me to have an opinion about that, Captain Aylmer. It +depends on the nature of her claim; and that again depends on the +relative position of the aunt and niece when they were alive together.' + +'You are aware that Miss Amedroz was not Mrs Winterfield's niece?' + +'Do not think for a moment that I am criticizing the amount of the +legacy. I am very glad of it, as, without it, there was literally no +provision no provision at all.' + +'You will write to herself?' + +'Oh yes, certainly to herself. She is a better man of business than her +father and then this is her own, to do as she likes with it.' + +'She can't refuse it, I suppose?' + +'Refuse it!' + +'Even though she did not wish to take it, it would be legally her +property, just as though it had been really left by the will?' + +'Well; I don't know. I dare say you could have resisted the payment. +But that has been made now, and there seems to be an end of it.' + +At this moment a clerk entered the room and handed a card to his +employer. 'Here's the heir himself,' said Mr Green. + +'What heir? + +'Will Belton the heir of the property which Mr Amedroz holds.' Captain +Aylmer had soon explained that he was not personally acquainted with Mr +William Belton; but, having heard much about him, declared himself +anxious to make the acquaintance. Our friend Will, therefore, was +ushered into the room, and the two rivals for Clara's favour were +introduced to each other. Each had heard much of the other, and each +had heard of the other from the same person. But Captain Aylmer knew +much more as to Belton than Belton knew in respect to him. Aylmer knew +that Belton had proposed to Clara and had been rejected; and he knew +also that Belton was now again going down to Somersetshire. + +'You are to spend your Christmas, I believe, with our friends at Belton +Castle?' said the captain. + +'Yes and am now on my way there. I believe you know them also +intimately.' Then there was some explanation as to the Winterfield +connexion, a few remarks as to the precarious state of the old squire's +health, a message or two from Captain Aylmer, which of course were of +no importance, and the captain took his leave. + +Then Green and Briton became very comfortably intimate in their +conversation, calling each other Will and Joe for they were old and +close friends. And they discussed matters in that cozy tone of +confidential intercourse which is so directly at variance with the +tones used by men when they ordinarily talk of business. 'He has +brought me good news for your friend, Miss Amedroz,' said the lawyer. + +'What good news?' + +'That aunt of hers left her fifteen hundred pounds, after all. Or +rather, she did not leave it, but desired on her death-bed that it +might be given.' + +'That's the same thing, I suppose?' + +'Oh quite that is to say, it's the same thing if the person who has to +hand over the money does not dispute the legacy. But it shows how the +old lady's conscience pricked her at last. And after all it was a +shabby sum, and should have been three times as much.' + +'Fifteen hundred pounds! And that is all she will have when her father +dies 7' + +'Every farthing, Will. You'll take all the rest.' + +'I wish she wasn't going to have that.' + +'Why? Why on earth should you of all men grudge her such a moderate +maintenance, seeing that you have not got to pay it?' + +'It isn't a maintenance. How could it be a maintenance for such as her? +What sort of maintenance would it be?' + +'Much better than nothing. And so you would feel if she were your +daughter.' + +'She shall be my daughter, or my sister, or whatever you like to call +her. You don't think that I'll take the whole estate and leave her to +starve on the interest of fifteen hundred pounds a year!' + +'You'd better make her your wife at once, Will.' + +Will Belton blushed as he answered, 'That, perhaps, would be easier +said than done. That is not in my power even if I should wish it. But +the other is in my power.' + +'Will, take my advice, and don't make any romantic promises when you +are down at Belton. You'll be sure to regret them if you do. And you +should remember that in truth Miss Amedroz has no greater claim on you +than any other lady in the land.' + +'Isn't she my cousin?' + +'Well yes. She is your cousin, but a distant one only; and I'm not +aware that cousinship gives any claim.' + +'Who is she to have a claim on? I'm the nearest she has got. Besides, +am not I going to take all the property which ought to be hers?' + +'That's just it. There's no such ought in the case. The property is as +much your own as this poker is mine. That's exactly the mistake I want +you to guard against. If you liked her, and chose to marry her, that +would be all very well; presuming that you don't want to get money in +marriage.' + +'I hate the idea of marrying for money.' + +'All right. Then marry Miss Amedroz if you please. But don't make any +rash undertakings to be her father, or her brother, or her uncle, or +her aunt. Such romance always leads a man into trouble.' + +'But I've done it already.' + +'What do you mean?' + +'I've told her that I would be her brother, and that as long as I had a +shilling she should never want sixpence. And I mean it. And as for what +you say about romance and repenting it, that simply comes from your +being a lawyer.' + +'Thank ye, Will.' + +'If one goes to a chemist, of course one gets physic, and has to put up +with the bad smells.' + +'Thank you again.' + +'But the chemist may be a very good sort of fellow at home all the +same, and have a cupboard full of sweetmeats and a garden full of +flowers. However, the thing is done as far as I am concerned, and I can +almost find it in my heart to be sorry that Clara has got this driblet +of money. Fifteen hundred pounds I It would keep her out of the +workhouse, and that is about all.' + +'If you knew how many ladies in her position would think that the +heavens had rained wealth upon them if some one would give them fifteen +hundred pounds!' + +'Very well. At any rate I won't take it away from her. And now I want +you to tell me something else. Do you remember a fellow we used to know +named Berdmore?' + +'Philip Berdmore?' + +'He may have been Philip, or Daniel, or Jeremiah, for anything I know. +But the man I mean was very much given to taking his liquor freely.' + +'That was Jack Berdmore, Philip's brother. Oh yes, I remember him. He's +dead now. He drank himself to death at last, out in India.' + +'He was in the army?' + +'Yes and what a pleasant fellow he was at times! I see Phil constantly, +and Phil's wife, but they never speak of Jack.' + +'He got married, didn't he, after we used to see him?' + +Oh yes he and Phil married sisters. It was a sad affair, that.' + +'I remember being with him and her and the sister too, after they were +engaged, and he got so drunk that we were obliged to take him away. +There was a large party of us at Richmond, but I don't think you were +there.' + +'But I heard of it' + +'And she was a Miss Vigo?' + +'Exactly. I see the younger sister constantly. Phil isn't very rich, +and he's got a lot of children but he's very happy.' + +'What became of the other sister? + +'Of Jack's wife?' + +'Yes. What became of her?' + +'I haven't an idea. Something bad, I suppose, as they never speak of +her.' + +'And how long is he dead?' + +'He died about three years since. I only knew it from Phil's telling me +that he was in mourning for him. Then he did speak of him for a moment +or two, and I came to know that he had carried on to the end in the +same way. If a fellow takes to drink in this country, he'll never get +cured in India.' + +'I suppose not.' + +'Never.' + +'And now I want to find out something about his widow.' + +'And why?' + +'Ah I'm not sure that I can tell you why. Indeed I'm sure that I +cannot. But still you might be able to assist me.' + +'There were heaps of people who used to know the Vigos,' said the +lawyer. + +'No end of people though I couldn't for the life of me say who any of +them were.' + +'They used to come out in London with an aunt, but nobody knew much +about her. I fancy they had neither father nor mother.' + +'They were very pretty.' + +'And how well they danced. I don't think I ever knew a girl who danced +so pleasantly giving herself no airs, you know as Mary Vigo.' + +'Her name was Mary,' said Belton, remembering that Mrs Askerton's name +was also Mary. + +'Jack Berdmore married Mary.' + +'Well now, Joe, you must find out for me what became of her. Was she +with her husband when he died?' + +'Nobody was with him. Phil told me so. No one, that is, but a young +lieutenant and his own servant. It was very sad. He had D.T., and all +that sort of thing.' + +'And where was she?' + +'At Jericho, for anything that I know.' + +'Will you find out?' Then Mr Joseph Green thought for a moment of his +capabilities in that line, and having made an engagement to dine with +his friend at his club on the evening before Will left London, said at +last that he thought he could find out through certain mutual friends +who had known the Berdmores in the old days. 'But the fact is,' said +the lawyer, 'that the world is so good- natured instead of being +ill-natured, as people say that it always forgets those who want to be +forgotten.' + +We must now go back for a few moments to Captain Aylmer and his +affairs. Having given a full month to the consideration of his position +as regarded Miss Amedroz, he made up his mind to two things. In the +first place, he would at once pay over to her the money which was to be +hers as her aunt's legacy, and then he would renew his offer. To that +latter determination he was guided by mixed motives by motives which, +when joined together, rarely fail to be operative. His conscience told +him that he ought to do so and then the fact of her having, as it were, +taken herself away from him, made him again wish to possess her. And +there was another cause which, perhaps, operated in the same direction. +He had consulted his mother, and she had strongly advised him to have +nothing further to do with Miss Amedroz. Lady Aylmer abused her dead +sister heartily for having interfered in the matter, and endeavoured to +prove to her son that he was released from his promise by having in +fact performed it. But on this point his conscience interfered backed +by his wishes and he made his resolve as has been above stated. On +leaving Mr Green's chambers he went to his own lodgings, and wrote his +letter as follows: + + + +'Mount Street, December, 186 + +Dearest Clara, + +When you parted from me at Perivale you said certain things about our +engagement which I have come to understand better since then, than I +did at the time. It escaped from me that my dear aunt and I had had +some conversation about you, and that I had told her what was my +intention. Something was said about a promise, and I think it was that +word which made you unhappy. At such a time as that when I and my aunt +were talking together, and when she was, as she well knew, on her +deathbed, things will be said which would not be thought of in other +circumstances. I can only assure you now, that the promise I gave her +was a promise to do that which I had previously resolved upon doing. If +you can believe what I say on this head, that ought to be sufficient to +remove the feeling which induced you to break our engagement. + +I now write to renew my offer to you, and to assure you that I do so +with my whole heart. You will forgive me if I tell you that I cannot +fail to remember, and always to bear in my mind, the sweet assurances +which you gave me of your regard for myself. As I do not know that +anything has occurred to alter your opinion of me, I write this letter +in strong hope that it may be successful. I believe that your fear was +in respect to my affection for you, not as to yours for me. If this was +so, I can assure you that there is no necessity for such fear. + +I need not tell you that I shall expect your answer with great anxiety. + +Yours most affectionately, + +F. F. AYLMER. + +P.S. I have today caused to be bought in your name Bank Stock to the +amount of fifteen hundred pounds, the amount of the legacy coming to +you from my aunt.' + + + +This letter, and that from Mr Green respecting the money, both reached +Clara on the same morning. Now, having learned so much as to the +position of affairs at Belton Castle, we may return to Will and his +dinner engagement with Mr Joseph Green. + +'And what have you heard about Mrs Berdmore?' Belton asked, almost as +soon as the two men wore together. + +'I wish I knew why you want to know.' + +'I don't want to do anybody any harm.' + +'Do you want to do anybody any good?' + +'Any good! I can't say that I want to do any particular good. The truth +is, I think I know where she is, and that she is living under a false +name.' + +'Then you know more of her than I do.' + +'I don't know anything. I'm only in doubt. But as the lady I mean lives +near to friends of mine, I should like to know.' + +'That you may expose her?' + +'No by no means. But I hate the idea of deceit. The truth is, that any +one living anywhere under a false name should be exposed or should be +made to assume their right name.' + +'I find that Mrs Berdmore left her husband some years before he died. +There was nothing in that to create wonder, for he was a man with whom +a woman could hardly continue to live. But I fear she left him under +protection that was injurious to her character. + +'And how long ago is that?' + +'I do not know. Some years before his death.' + +'And how long ago did he die?' + +'About three years since. My informant tells me that he believes she +has since married. Now you know all that I know.' And Belton also knew +that Mrs Askerton of the cottage was the Miss Vigo with whom he had +been acquainted in earlier years. + +After that they dined comfortably, and nothing passed between them +which need be recorded as essential to our story till the time came for +them to part. Then, when they were both standing at the club door, the +lawyer said a word or two which is essential. 'So you're off tomorrow?' +said he. + +'Yes; I shall go down by the express.' + +'I wish you a pleasant journey. By the by, I ought to tell you that you +won't have any trouble in being either father or mother, or uncle or +aunt to Miss Amedroz.' + +'Why not?' + +'I suppose it's no secret.' + +'What's no secret? + +'She's going to be married to Captain Aylmer.' + +Then Will Belton started so violently, and assumed on a sudden so +manifest a look of anger, that his tale was at once told to Mr Green. +'Who says so?' he asked. 'I don't believe it.' + +'I'm afraid it's true all the same, Will.' + +'Who says it?' + +'Captain Aylmer was with me today, and he told me. He ought to be good +authority on such a subject.' + +'He told you that he was going to marry Clara Amedroz?' + +'Yes, indeed.' + +'And what made him come to you, to tell you?' + +'There was a question about some money which he had paid to her, and +which, under existing circumstances, he thought it as well that he +should not pay. Matters of that kind are often necessarily told to +lawyers. But I should not have told it to you, Will, if I had not +thought that it was good news.' + +'It is not good news,' said Belton moodily. + +'At any rate, old fellow, my telling it will do no harm. You must have +learned it soon.' And he put his hand kindly almost tenderly, on the +other's arm. But Belton moved himself away angrily. The wound had been +so lately inflicted that he could not as yet forgive the hand that had +seemed to strike him. + +'I'm sorry that it should be so bad with you, Will.' + +'What do you mean by bad? It is not bad with me. it is very well with +me. Keep your pity for those who want it.' Then he walked off by +himself across the broad street before the club door, leaving his +friend without a word of farewell, and made his way up into St. James's +Square, choosing, as was evident to Mr Green, the first street that +would take him out of sight. + +'He's hit, and hit hard,' said the lawyer, looking after him. 'Poor +fellow! I might have guessed it from what he said. I never knew of his +caring for any woman before.' Then Mr Green put on his gloves and went +away home. + +We will now follow Will Belton into St. James's Square, and we shall +follow a very unhappy gentleman. Doubtless he had hitherto known and +appreciated the fact that Miss Amedroz had refused his offer, and had +often declared, both to himself and to his sister, his conviction that +that refusal would never be reversed. But, in spite of that expressed +conviction, he had lived on hope. Till she belonged to another man she +might yet be his. He might win her at last by perseverance. At any rate +he had it in his power to work towards the desired end, and might find +solace even in that working. And the misery of his loss would not be so +great to him as he found himself forced to confess to himself before he +had completed his wanderings on this night in not having her for his +own, as it would be in knowing that she had given herself to another +man. He had often told himself that of course she would become the wife +of some man, but he had never yet realized to himself what it would be +to know that she was the wife of any one specified rival. He had been +sad enough on that moonlight night in the avenue at Plaistow when he +had leaned against the tree, striking his hands together as he thought +of his great want; but his unhappiness then had been as nothing to his +agony now. Now it was all over and he knew the man who had supplanted +him. + +How he hated him! With what an unchristian spirit did he regard that +worthy captain as he walked across St. James's Square, across Jermyn +Street, across Piccadilly, and up Bond Street, not knowing whither he +was going. He thought with an intense regret of the laws of modern +society which forbid duelling forgetting altogether that even had the +old law prevailed, the conduct of the man whom he so hated would have +afforded him no casus belli. But he was too far gone in misery and +animosity to be capable of any reason on the matter. Captain Aylmer had +interfered with his dearest wishes, and during this now passing hour he +would willingly have crucified Captain Aylmer had it been within his +power to do so. Till he had gone beyond Oxford Street, and had wandered +away into the far distance of Portman Square and Baker Street, he had +not begun to think of any interest which Clara Amedroz might have in +the matter on which his thoughts were employed. He was sojourning at an +hotel in Bond Street, and had gone thitherwards more by habit than by +thought; but he had passed the door of his inn, feeling it to be +impossible to render himself up to his bed in his present disturbed +mood. As he was passing the house in Bond Street he had been intent on +the destruction of Captain Aylmer and had almost determined that if +Captain Aylmer could not be made to vanish into eternity, he must make +up his mind to go that road himself. + +It was out of the question that he should go down to Belton. As to that +he had come to a very decided opinion by the time that he had crossed +Oxford Street. Go down to see her, when she had treated him after this +fashion I No, indeed. She wanted no brother now. She had chosen to +trust herself to this other man, and he, Will Belton, would not +interfere further in her affairs. Then he drew upon his imagination for +a picture of the future, in which he portrayed Captain Aylmer as a +ruined man, who would probably desert his wife, and make himself +generally odious to all his acquaintance a picture as to the +realization of which I am bound to say that Captain Aylmer's +antecedents gave no probability. But it was the looking at this +self-drawn picture which first softened the artist's heart towards the +victim whom he had immolated on his imaginary canvas. When Clara should +be ruined by the baseness and villainy and general scampishness of this +man whom she was going to marry to whom she was about to be weak enough +and fool enough to trust herself then he would interpose and be her +brother once again a broken-hearted brother no doubt, but a brother +efficacious to keep the wolf from the door of this poor woman and her +children. Then, as he thus created Captain Aylmer's embryo family of +unprovided orphans for after a while he killed the captain, making him +to die some death that was very disgraceful, but not very distinct even +to his own imagination as he thought of those coming pledges of a love +which was to him so bitter, he stormed about the streets, performing +antics of which no one would have believed him capable who had known +him as the thriving Mr William Belton, of Plaistow Hall, among the fens +of Norfolk. + +But the character of a man is not to be judged from the pictures which +he may draw or from the antics which he may play in his solitary hours. +Those who act generally with the most consummate wisdom in the affairs +of the world, often meditate very silly doings before their wiser +resolutions form themselves. I beg, therefore, that Mr Belton may be +regarded and criticized in accordance with his conduct on the following +morning when his midnight rambles, which finally took him even beyond +the New Road, had been followed by a few tranquil hours in his Bond +Street bedroom for at last he did bring himself to return thither and +put himself to bed after the usual fashion. He put himself to bed in a +spirit somewhat tranquillized by the exercise of the night, and at last +wept himself to sleep like a baby. + +But he was by no means like a baby when he took him early on the +following morning to the Paddington Station, and booked himself +manfully for Taunton. He had had time to recognize the fact that he had +no ground of quarrel with his cousin because she had preferred another +man to him. This had happened to him as he was recrossing the New Road +about two o'clock, and was beginning to find that his legs were weary +under him. And, indeed, he had recognized one or two things before he +had gone to sleep with his tears dripping on to his pillow. In the +first place, he had ill-treated Joe Green, and had made a fool of +himself in his friend's presence. As Joe Green was a sensible, kind- +hearted fellow, this did not much signify but not on that account did +be omit to tell himself of his own fault. Then he discovered that it +would ill become him to break his word to Mr Amedroz and to his +daughter, and to do so without a word of excuse, because Clara had +exercised a right which was indisputably her own. He had undertaken +certain work at Belton which required his presence, and he would go +down and do his work as though nothing had occurred to disturb him. To +remain away because of this misfortune would be to show the white +feather. It would be unmanly. All this he recognized as the pictures he +had painted faded away from their canvases. As to Captain Aylmer +himself, he hoped that he might never be called upon to meet him. He +still hoped that, even as he was resolutely cramming his shirts into +his portmanteau before he began his journey. His Cousin Clara he +thought he could meet, and tender to her some expression of good wishes +as to her future life, without giving way under the effort. And to the +old squire he could endeavour to make himself pleasant, speaking of the +relief from all trouble which this marriage with Captain Aylmer would +afford for now, in his cooler moments, be could perceive that Captain +Aylmer was not a man apt to ruin himself, or his wife and children. But +to Captain Aylmer himself, he could not bring himself to say pleasant +things or to express pleasant wishes. She who was to be Captain +Aylmer's wife, who loved him, would of course have told him what had +occurred up among the rocks in Belton Park; and if that was so, any +meeting between Will and Captain Aylmer would be death to the former. + +Thinking of all this he journeyed down to Taunton, and thinking of all +this he made his way from Taunton across to Belton Park. + + +CHAPTER XV + +EVIL WORDS + +Clara Amedroz had received her two letters together that, namely, from +the attorney, and that from Captain Aylmer and the result of those +letters is already known. She accepted her lover's renewed offer of +marriage, acknowledging the force of his logic, and putting faith in +the strength of his assurances. This she did without seeking advice +from any one. Who was there from whom she could seek advice on such a +matter as that who, at least, was there at Belton? That her father +would, as a matter of course, bid her accept Captain Aylmer, was, she +thought, certain; and she knew well that Mrs Askerton would do the +same. She asked no counsel from any one, but taking the two letters up +to her own room, sat down to consider them. That which referred to her +aunt's money, together with the postscript in Captain Aylmer's letter +on the same subject, would be of the least possible moment if she could +bring herself to give a favourable answer to the other proposition. But +should she not be able to do this should she hesitate as to doing so at +once then she must write to the lawyer in very strong terms, refusing +altogether to have anything to do with the money. And in such a case as +this, not a word could she say to her father either on one subject or +on the other. + +But why should she not accept the offer made to her? Captain Aylmer +declared that he had determined to ask her to be his wife before he had +made any promise to Mrs Winterfield. If this were in truth so, then the +very ground on which she had separated herself from him would be +removed. Why should she hesitate in acknowledging to herself that she +loved the man and believed him to be true? So she sat herself down and +answered both the letters writing to the lawyer first. To him she said +that nothing need be done about the money or the interest till he +should see or hear from Captain Aylmer again. Then to Captain Aylmer +she wrote very shortly, but very openly with the same ill-judged +candour which her spoken words to him had displayed. Of course she +would be his; his without hesitation, now that she knew that he +expressed his own wishes, and not merely those of his aunt. 'As to the +money,' she said, 'it would be simply nonsense now for us to have any +talk of money. It is yours in any way, and you had better manage about +it as you please. I have written an ambiguous letter to Mr Green, which +will simply plague him, and which you may go and see if you like.' Then +she added her postscript, in which she said that she should now at once +tell her father, as the news would remove from his mind all solicitude +as to her future position. That Captain Aylmer did go to Mr Green we +already know, and we know also that he told Mr Green of his intended +marriage. + +Nothing was said by Captain Aylmer as to any proposed period for their +marriage; but that was only natural. It was not probable that any man +would name a day till he knew whether or not he was accepted. Indeed, +Clara, on thinking over the whole affair, was now disposed to find +fault rather with herself than with her lover, and forgetting his +coldness and formality at Perivale, remembered only the fact of his +offer to her, and his assurance now received that he had intended to +make it before the scene which had taken place between him and his +aunt. She did find fault with herself, telling herself that she had +quarrelled with him without sufficient cause and the eager loving +candour of her letter to him was attributable to those self-accusations. + +'Papa,' she said, after the postman had gone away from Belton, so that +there might be no possibility of any recall of her letter, 'I have +something to tell you which I hope will give you pleasure.' + +'It isn't often that I hear anything of that kind,' said he. + +'But I think that this will give you pleasure. I do indeed. I am going +to be married.' + +'Going to what?' + +'Going to be married, papa. That is, if I have your leave. Of course +any offer of that kind that I have accepted is subject to your +approval.' + +'And I have been told nothing about it!' + +'It began at Perivale, and I could not tell you then. You do not ask me +who is to be my husband.' + +'It is not Will Belton?' + +'Poor Will! No; it is not Will. It is Frederic Aylmer. I think you +would prefer him as a son-in-law even to my Cousin Will.' + +'No I shouldn't. Why should I prefer a man whom I don't even know, who +lives in London, and who will take you away, so that I shall never see +you again?' + +'Dear papa don't speak of it in that way. I thought you would be glad +to know that I was to be so so so happy!' + +'But why is it to be done this way of a sudden? Why didn't he come to +me? Will came to me the very first thing.' + +'He couldn't come all the way to Belton very well particularly as he +does not know you.' + +'Will came here.' + +'Oh, papa, don't make difficulties. Of course that was different. He +was here when he first thought of it. And even then he didn't think +very much about it.' + +'He did all that he could, I suppose?' + +'Well yes. I don't know how that might be.' And Clara almost laughed as +she felt the difficulties into which she was creeping. 'Dear Will. He +is much better as a cousin than as a husband.' + +'I don't see that at all. Captain Aylmer will not have the Belton +estate or Plaistow Hall.' + +'Surely he is well enough off to take care of a wife. He will have the +whole of the Perivale estate, you know.' + +'I don't know anything about it. According to my ideas of what is +proper he should have spoken to me first. If he could not come he might +have written. No doubt my ideas may be old-fashioned, and I'm told that +Captain Aylmer is a fashionable young man.' + +'Indeed he is not, papa. He is a hard-working Member of Parliament.' + +'I don't know that he is any better for that. People seem to think that +if a man is a Member of Parliament he may do what he pleases. There is +Thompson, the Member for Minehead, who has bought some sort of place +out by the moors. I never saw so vulgar, pigheaded a fellow in my life. +Being in Parliament used to be something when I was young, but it won't +make a man a gentleman now-a-days. It seems to me that none but +brewers, and tallow-chandlers, and lawyers go into Parliament now. Will +Belton could go into Parliament if he pleased, but he knows better than +that. He won't make himself such a fool.' + +This was not comfortable to Clara; but she knew her father, and allowed +him to go on with his grumbling. He would come round by degrees, and he +would appreciate, if he could not be induced to acknowledge, the wisdom +of the step she was about to take. + +'When is it to be?' he asked. + +'Nothing of that kind has ever been mentioned, papa.' + +'It had better be soon, if I am to have anything to do with it.' Now it +was certainly the case that the old man was very ill. He had not been +out of the house since Clara had returned home; and, though he was +always grumbling about his food, he could hardly be induced to eat +anything when the morsels for which he expressed a wish were got for +him. + +'Of course you will be consulted, papa, before anything is settled.' + +'I don't want to be in anybody's way, my dear.' + +'And may I tell Frederic that you have given your consent? + +'What's the use of my consenting or not consenting? If you had been +anxious to oblige me you would have taken your Cousin Will.' + +'Oh, papa, how could I accept a man I didn't love?' + +'You seemed to me to be very fond of him at first; and I must say, I +thought he was ill-treated.' + +'Papa, papa; do not say such things as that to me!' + +'What am I to do? You tell me, and I can't altogether hold my tongue.' +Then there was a pause. 'Well, my dear, as for my consent, of course +you may have it if it's worth anything. I don't know that I ever heard +anything bad about Captain Aylmer.' + +He had heard nothing bad about Captain Aylmer! Clara, as she left her +father, felt that this was very grievous. Whatever cause she might have +had for discontent with her lover, she could not but be aware that he +was a man whom any father might be proud to welcome as a suitor for his +daughter. He was a man as to whom no ill tales had ever been told who +had never been known to do anything wrong or imprudent; who had always +been more than respectable, and as to whose worldly position no +exception could be taken. She had been entitled to expect her father's +warmest congratulations, and her tidings had been received as though +she had proposed to give her hand to one whose character and position +only just made it not imperative on the father to withhold his consent! +All this was hard, and feeling it to be so, she went upstairs, all +alone, and cried bitterly as she thought of it. + +On the next day she went down to the cottage and saw Mrs Askerton. She +went there with the express purpose of telling her friend of her +engagement desirous of obtaining in that quarter the sympathy which her +father declined to give her. Had her communication to him been accepted +in a different spirit, she might probably have kept her secret from Mrs +Askerton till something further had been fixed about her marriage; but +she was in want of a few kind words, and pined for some of that +encouragement which ladies in love usually wish to receive, at any rate +from some one chosen friend. But when she found herself alone with Mrs +Askerton she hardly knew how to tell her news; and at first could not +tell it at all, as that lady was eager in speaking on another subject. + +'When do you expect your cousin?' Mrs Askerton asked, almost as soon as +Clara was seated. + +'The day after tomorrow.' + +'And he is in London now?' + +'He may be. I dare say he is. But I don't know anything about it.' + +'I can tell you then that he is. Colonel Askerton has heard of his +being there.' + +'You seem to speak of it as though there were some offence in it. Is +there any reason why he should not be in London if he pleases?' + +'None in the least. I would much rather that he should be there than +here.' + +'Why so? Will his coming hurt you?' + +'I don't like him. I don't like him at all and now you know the truth. +You believe in him I don't. You think him to be a fine fellow and a +gentleman, whereas I don't think him to be either.' + +'Mrs Askerton!' + +'This is strong language, I know.' + +'Very strong language.' + +'Yes, my dear; but the truth is, Clara, that you and I, living together +here this sort of hermit's life, each seeing so much of the other and +seeing nothing of anybody else, must either be real friends, telling +each other what we think, or we must be nothing. We can't go on with +the ordinary make- believes of society, saying little civil speeches +and not going beyond them. Therefore I have made up my mind to tell you +in plain language that I don't like your cousin, and don't believe in +him.' + +'I don't know what you mean by believing in a man.' + +'I believe in you. Sometimes I have thought that you believe in me, and +sometimes I have feared that you do not. I think that you are good, and +honest, and true; and therefore I like to see your face and hear your +voice though it is not often that you say very pleasant things to me.' + +'Do I say unpleasant things?' + +'I am not going to quarrel with you not if I can help it. What business +has Mr Belton to go about London making inquiries as to me? What have I +done to him, that he should honour me so far?' + +'Has he made inquiries?' + +'Yes; he has. If you have been contented with me as I am if you are +satisfied, why should he want to learn more? If you have any question +to ask me I will answer it. But what right can he have to be asking +questions among strangers?' + +Clara had no question to ask, and yet she could not say that she was +satisfied. She would have been better satisfied to have known more of +Mrs Askerton, but yet she had never condescended to make inquiries +about her friend. But her curiosity was now greatly raised; and, +indeed, Mrs Askerton's manner was so strange, her vehemence so unusual, +and her eagerness to rush into dangerous subjects so unlike her usual +tranquillity in conversation, that Clara did not know how to answer her. + +'I know nothing of any questioning,' she said. + +'I am sure you don't. Had I thought you did, much as I love you +valuable as your society is to me down in this desert I would never +speak to you again. But remember if you want to ask any questions, and +will ask them of me of me I will answer them, and will not be angry.' + +'But I don't want to ask any questions.' + +'You may some day; and then you can remember what I say.' + +'And am I to understand that you are determined to quarrel with my +Cousin Will?' + +'Quarrel with him! I don't suppose that I shall see him. After what I +have said it is not probable that you will bring him here, and the +servant will have orders to say that I am not at home if be should +call. Luckily he and Colonel Askerton did not meet when he was here +before.' + +'This is the most strange thing I ever heard in my life.' + +'You will understand it better, my dear, when he makes his +communication to you.' + +'What communication?' + +'You'll find that he'll have a communication to make. He has been so +diligent and so sharp that he'll have a great deal to tell, I do not +doubt. Only, remember, Clara, that if anything that he tells you makes +any difference in your feelings towards me, I shall expect you to come +to me and say so openly. If he makes his statement, let me make mine. I +have a right to ask for that, after what I have promised.' + +'You may be sure that I will.' + +'I want nothing more. I have no distrust in you none in the least. I +tell you that I believe in you. If you will do that, and will keep Mr +William Belton out of my way during his visit to these parts, I shall +be satisfied.' For some time past Mrs Askerton had been walking about +the room, but, as she now finished speaking, she sat herself down as +though the subject was fully discussed and completed. For a minute or +two she made an effort to resume her usual tranquillity of manner, and +in doing so attempted to smile, as though ridiculing her own energy. 'I +knew I should make a fool of myself when you came,' she said; and now I +have done it.' + +'I don't think you have been a fool at all, but you may have been +mistaken.' + +'Very well, my dear, we shall see. It's very odd what a dislike I took +to that man the first time I saw him.' + +'And I am so fond of him!' + +'Yes; he has cozened you as he has your father. I am only glad that he +did not succeed in cozening you further than he did. But I ought to +have known you bettor than to suppose you could give your heart of +hearts to one who is' + +'Do not abuse him any more.' + +'Who is so very unlike the sort of people with whom you have lived. I +may, at any rate, say that.' + +'I don't know that. I haven't lived much with any one yet except papa, +and my aunt, and you.' + +'But you know a gentleman when you see him.' + +'Come, Mrs Askerton, I will not stand this. I thought you had done with +the subject, and now you begin again. I had come here on purpose to +tell you something of real importance that is, to me; but I must go +away without telling you, unless you will give over abusing my cousin.' + +'I will not say a word more about him not at present.' + +'I feel so sure that you are mistaken, you know.' + +'Very well and I feel sure that you are mistaken. We will leave it so, +and go to this matter of importance.' But Clara felt it to be very +difficult to tell her tidings after such a conversation as that which +had just occurred. When she had entered the room her mind had been +tuned to the subject, and she could have found fitting words without +much difficulty to herself; but now her thoughts had been scattered and +her feelings hurt, and she did not know how to bring herself back to +the subject of her engagement. She paused, therefore, and sat with a +doubtful, hesitating look, meditating some mode of escape. 'I am all +ears,' said Mrs Askerton; and Clara thought that she discovered +something of ridicule or of sarcasm in the tone of her friend's voice. + +'I believe I'll put it off till another day,' she said. + +'Why so? You don't think that anything really important to you will not +be important to me also?' + +'I'm sure of that, but somehow' + +'You mean to say that I have ruffled you?' + +'Well perhaps; a little.' + +'Then be unruffled again, like my own dear, honest Clara. I have been +ruffled too, but I'll be as tranquil now as a drawing-room cat.' Then +Mrs Askerton got up from her chair, and seated herself by Clara's side +on the sofa. 'Come; you can't go till you've told me; and if you +hesitate, I shall think that you mean to quarrel With me.' + +'I'll come to you tomorrow.' + +'No, no; you shall tell me today. All tomorrow you'll be preparing for +your cousin.' + +'What nonsense!' + +'Or else you'll come prepared to vindicate him, and then we shan't get +on any further. Tell me what it is today. You can't leave me in +curiosity after what you have said.' + +'You've heard of Captain Aylmer, I think.' + +'Of course I've heard of him.' + +'But you've never seen him?' + +'You know I never have.' + +'I told you that he was at Perivale when Mrs Winterfield died.' + +'And now he has proposed, and you are going to accept him? That will +indeed be important. Is it so? say. But don't I know it is so? Why +don't you speak?' + +'If you know it, why need I speak?' + +'But it is so? Oh, Clara, I am so glad. I congratulate you with all my +heart with all my heart. My dearest, dearest Clara! What a happy +arrangement! What a success! It is just as it should be. Dear, good +man! to come forward in that sensible way, and put an end to all the +little family difficulties!' + +'I don't know so much about success. Who is it that is successful?' + +'You, to be sure.' + +'Then by the same measurement he must be unsuccessful.' + +'Don't be a fool, Clara.' + +'Of course I have been successful if I've got a man that I can love as +my husband.' + +'Now, my dear, don't be a fool. Of course all that is between you and +him, and I don't in the least doubt that it is all as it should be. If +Captain Aylmer had been the elder brother instead of the younger, and +had all the Aylmer estates instead of the Perivale property, I know you +would not accept him if you did not like him.' + +'I hope not.' + +'I am sure you would not. But when a girl with nothing a year has +managed to love a man with two or three thousand a year, and has +managed to be loved by him in return instead of going through the same +process with the curate or village doctor it is a success, and her +friend will always think so. And when a girl marries a gentleman, and a +Member of Parliament, instead of well, I'm not going to say anything +personal her friends will congratulate her upon his position. It may be +very wicked, and mercenary, and all that; but it's the way of the +world.' + +'I hate hearing about the world.' + +'Yes, my dear; all proper young ladies like you do hate it. But I +observe that such girls as you never offend its prejudices. You can't +but know that you would have done a wicked as well as a foolish thing +to marry a man without an adequate income.' + +'But I needn't marry at all.' + +'And what would you live on then? Come Clara, we needn't quarrel about +that. I've no doubt he's charming, and beautiful, and' + +'He isn't beautiful at all; and as for charming' + +'He has charmed you at any rate.' + +'He has made me believe that I can trust him without doubt, and love +him without fear.' + +'An excellent man! And the income will be an additional comfort; you'll +allow that?' + +'I'll allow nothing.' + +'And when is it to be?' + +'Oh perhaps in six or seven years.' + +'Clara!' + +'Perhaps sooner; but there's been no word said about time.' + +'Is not Mr Amedroz delighted?' + +'Not a bit. He quite scolded me when I told him.' + +'Why what did he want?' + +'You know papa.' + +'I know he scolds at everything, but I shouldn't have thought he would +have scolded at that. And when does he come here?' + +'Who come here?' + +'Captain Aylmer.' + +'I don't know that he is coming at all.' + +'He must come to be married.' + +'All that is in the clouds as yet. I did not like to tell you, but you +mustn't suppose that because I've told you, everything is settled. +Nothing is settled.' + +'Nothing except the one thing?' + +'Nothing else.' + +It was more than an hour after that before Clara went away, and when +she did so she was surprised to find that she was followed out of the +house by Colonel Askerton. It was quite dusk at this time, the days +being just at their shortest, and Colonel Askerton, according to his +custom, would have been riding, or returning from his ride. Clara had +been over two hours at the cottage, and had been aware when she reached +it that be had not as yet gone out. It appeared now that he had not +ridden at all, and, as she remembered to have seen his horse led before +the window, it at once occurred to her that he had remained at home +with the view of catching her as she went away. He came up to her just +as she was passing through the gate, and offered her his right hand as +he raised his hat with his left. It sometimes happens to all of us in +life that we become acquainted with persons intimately that is, with an +assumed intimacy whom in truth we do not know at all. We meet such +persons frequently, often eating and drinking in their company, being +familiar with their appearance, and well-informed generally as to their +concerns; but we never find ourselves holding special conversations +with them, or in any way fitting the modes of our life to the modes of +their life. Accident has brought us together, and in one sense they are +our friends. We should probably do any little kindness for them, or +expect the same from them; but there is nothing in common between us, +and there is generally a mutual though unexpressed agreement that there +shall be nothing in common. Miss Amedroz was intimately acquainted with +Colonel Askerton after this fashion. She saw him very frequently, and +his name was often on her tongue; but she rarely, if ever, conversed +with him, and knew of his habits only from his wife's words respecting +them. When, therefore, he followed her through the garden gate into the +park, she was driven to suppose that he had something special to say to +her. + +'I'm afraid you'll have a dark walk, Miss Amedroz,' he said. + +'It's only just across the park, and I know the way so well.' + +'Yes of course. I saw you coming out, and as I want to say a word or +two, I have ventured to follow you. When Mr Belton was down here I did +not have the pleasure of meeting him.' + +'I remember that you missed each other.' + +'Yes, we did. I understand from my wife that he will be here again in a +day or two.' + +'He will be with us the day after tomorrow.' + +'I hope you will excuse my saying that it will be very desirable that +we should miss each other again.' Clara felt that her face became red +with anger as she listened to Colonel Askerton's words. He spoke +slowly, as was his custom, and without any of that violence of +expression which his wife had used; but on that very account there was +more, if possible, of meaning in his words than in hers. William Belton +was her cousin, and such a speech as that which Colonel Askerton had +made, spoken with deliberation and unaccompanied by any previous +explanation, seemed to her almost to amount to insult. But as she did +not know how to answer him at the spur of the moment, she remained +silent. Then he continued, 'You may be sure, Miss Amedroz, that I +should not make so strange a request to you if I had not good reason +for making it.' + +'I think it a very strange request.' + +'And nothing but a strong conviction of its propriety on my part would +have induced me to make it.' + +'If you do not want to see my cousin, why cannot you avoid him without +saying anything to me on the subject + +'Because you would not then have understood as thoroughly as I wish you +to do why I kept out of his way. For my wife's sake and for yours, if +you will allow me to say so I do not wish to come to any open quarrel +with him; but if we met, a quarrel would, I think, be inevitable. Mary +has probably explained to you the nature of his offence against us?' + +'Mrs Askerton has told me something as to which I am quite sure that +she is mistaken.' + +'I will say nothing about that, as I have no wish at all to set you +against your cousin. I will bid you good-night now as you are close at +home.' Then he turned round and left her. + +Clara, as she thought of all this, could not but call to mind her +cousin's remembrances about Miss Vigo and Mr Berdmore. What if he made +some inquiry as to the correctness of his old recollections? Nothing, +she thought, could be more natural. And then she reflected that, in the +ordinary way of the world, persons feel none of that violent objection +to the asking of questions about their antecedents which was now +evinced by both Colonel and Mrs Askerton. But of one thing she felt +quite assured that her cousin, Will Belton, would make no inquiry which +he ought not to make; and would make no improper use of any information +which he might obtain. + + +CHAPTER XVI + +THE HEIR'S SECOND VISIT TO BELTON + +Clara began to doubt whether any possible arrangement of the +circumstances of her life could be regarded as fortunate. She was very +fond, in a different degree and after a different fashion, of both +Captain Aylmer and Mr Belton. As regarded both, her position was now +exactly what she herself would have wished. The man that she loved was +betrothed to her, and the other man, whom she loved indeed also as a +brother, was coming to her in that guise with the understanding that +that was to be his position. And yet everything was going wrong! Her +father, though he did not actually say anything against Captain Aylmer, +showed by a hundred little signs, of which he was a skilful master, +that the Aylmer alliance was distasteful to him, and that he thought +himself to be aggrieved in that his daughter would not marry her +cousin; whereas, over at the cottage, there was a still more bitter +feeling against Mr Belton a feeling so bitter, that it almost induced +Clara to wish that her cousin was not coming to them. + +But the cousin did come, and was driven up to the door in the gig from +Taunton, just as had been the case on his previous visit. Then, +however, he had come in the full daylight, and the hay-carts had been +about, and all the prettiness and warmth of summer had been there; now +it was mid-winter, and there had been some slight beginnings of snow, +and the wind was moaning about the old tower, and the outside of the +house looked very unpleasant from the hall-door. As it had become dusk +in the afternoon, the old squire had been very careful in his orders as +to preparations for Will's comfort as though Clara would have forgotten +all those things in the preoccupation of her mind, caused by the +constancy of her thoughts towards Will's rival. He even went so far as +to creep across the upstairs landing-place to see that the fire was +lighted in Will's room, this being the first time that he had left his +chamber for many days and bad given special orders as to the food which +was to be prepared for Will's dinner in a very different spirit from +that which bad dictated some former orders when Will was about to make +his first visit, and when his coming had been regarded by the old man +as a heartless, indelicate, and almost hostile proceeding. + +'I wish I could go down to receive him,' said Mr Amedroz, plaintively. +'I hope he won't take it amiss.' + +'You may be sure he won't do that.' + +'Perhaps I can tomorrow.' + +'Dear papa, you had better not think of it till the weather is milder.' + +'Milder! how is it to get milder at this time of the year?' + +'Of course he'll come up to you, papa.' + +'He's very good. I know he's very good. No one also would do as much.' + +Clara understood accurately what all this meant. Of course she was glad +that her father should feel so kindly towards her cousin, and think so +much of his coming; but every word said by the old man in praise of +Will Belton implied an equal amount of dispraise as regarded Captain +Aylmer, and contained a reproach against his daughter for having +refused the former and accepted the latter. + +Clara was in the ball when Belton arrived, and received him as he +entered, enveloped in his damp great-coats. 'It is so good of you to +come in such weather,' she said. + +'Nice seasonable weather, I call it,' he said. It was the same +comfortable, hearty, satisfactory voice which had done so much towards +making his way for him on his first arrival at Belton Castle The voices +to which Clara was most accustomed were querulous as though the world +had been found by the owners of them to be but a bad place. But +Belton's voice seemed to speak of cheery days and happy friends, and a +general state of things which made life worth having. Nevertheless, +forty-eight hours had not yet passed over his head since he was walking +about London in such misery that he had almost cursed the hour in which +be was born. His misery still remained with him, as black now as it had +been then; and yet his voice was cheery. The sick birds, we are told, +creep into holes, that they may die alone and unnoticed; and the +wounded beasts hide themselves that their grief may not be seen of +their fellows. A man has the same instinct to conceal the weakness of +his sufferings; but, if he be a man, he hides it in his own heart, +keeping it for solitude and the watches of the night, while to the +outer world he carries a face on which his care has made no marks. + +'You will be sorry to hear that papa is too ill to come downstairs.' + +'Is he, indeed? I am truly sorry. I had beard he was ill; but did not +know he was so ill as that.' + +'Perhaps he fancies himself weaker than he is.' + +'We must try and cure him of that. I can see him, I hope?' + +'Oh dear, yes. He is most anxious for you to go to him. As soon as ever +you can come upstairs I will take you.' He had already stripped himself +of his wrappings, and declaring himself ready, at once followed Clara +to the squire's room. + +'I'm sorry, sir, to find you in this way,' he said. + +'I'm very poorly, Will very,' said the squire, putting out his hand as +though he were barely able to lift it above his knee. Now it certainly +was the fact that half an hour before he had been walking across the +passage. + +'We must see if we can't soon make you better among us,' said Will. + +The squire shook his head with a slow, melancholy movement, not raising +his eyes from the ground. 'I don't think you'll ever see me much +better, Will,' he said. And yet half an hour since he had been talking +of being down in the dining-room on the next day. 'I shan't trouble you +much longer,' said the squire. 'You'll soon have it all without paying +rent for it.' + +This was very unpleasant, and almost frustrated Belton's attempts to be +cheery. But he persevered nevertheless. 'It'll be a long time yet +before that day comes, sir.' + +'Ah; that's easily said. But never mind. Why should I want to remain +when I shall have once seen her properly settled. I've nothing to live +for except that she may have a home.' + +On this subject it was quite impossible that Belton should say +anything. Clara was standing by him, and she, as he knew, was engaged +to Captain Aylmer. So circumstanced, what could he say as to Clara's +settlement in life? That something should be said between him and the +old man, and something also between him and Clara, was a matter of +course; but it was quite out of the question that he should discuss +Clara's prospects in life in presence of them both together. + +'Papa's illness makes him a little melancholy,' said Clara. + +'Of course of course. It always does,' said Will. + +'I think he will be better when the weather becomes milder,' said Clara. + +'I suppose I may be allowed to know how I feel myself,' said the +squire. 'But don't keep Will up here when he wants his dinner. There; +that'll do. You'd better leave me now.' Then Will went out to his old +room, and a quarter of an hour afterwards he found himself seated with +Clara at the dinner- table; and a quarter of an hour after that the +dinner was over, and they had both drawn their chairs to the fire. + +Neither of them knew how to begin with the other. Clara was under no +obligation to declare her engagement to her cousin, but yet she felt +that it would be unhandsome in her not to do so. Had Will never made +the mistake of wanting to marry her himself, she would have done so as +a matter of course. Had she supposed him to cherish any intention of +renewing that mistake she would have felt herself bound to tell him so +that he might save himself from unnecessary pain. But she gave him +credit for no such intention, and yet she could not but remember that +scene among the rocks. And then was she, or was she not, to say +anything to him about the Askertons? With him also the difficulty was +as great. He did not in truth believe that the tidings which he had +heard from his friend the lawyer required corroboration; but yet it was +necessary that he should know from herself that she had disposed of her +hand and it was necessary also that he should say some word to her as +to their future standing and friendship. + +'You must be very anxious to see how your farm goes on,' said she. + +He had not thought much of his agricultural venture at Belton for the +last three or four days, and would hardly have been vexed had he been +told that every head of cattle about the place had died of the murrain. +Some general idea of the expediency of going on with a thing which he +had commenced still actuated him; but it was the principle involved, +and not the speculation itself, which interested him. But he could not +explain all this, and he therefore was driven to some cold agreement +with her. 'The farm! you mean the stock. Yes; I shall go and have a +look at them early tomorrow. I suppose they're all alive.' + +'Pudge says that they are doing uncommonly well.' Pudge was a leading +man among the Belton labourers, whom Will had hired to look after his +concerns. + +'That's all right. I dare say Pudge knows quite as much about it as I +do.' + +'But the master's eye is everything.' + +'Pudge's eye is quite as good as mine; and probably much better, as he +knows the country.' + +'You used to say that it was everything for a man to look after his own +interests.' + +'And I do look after them. Pudge and I will go and have a look at every +beast tomorrow, and I shall look very wise and pretend to know more +about it than he does. In stock-farming the chief thing is not to have +too many beasts. They used to say that half-stocking was whole profit, +and. whole- stocking was half profit. If the animals have plenty to +eat, and the rent isn't too high, they'll take care of. their owner.' + +'But then there is so much illness.' + +'I always insure.' + +Clara perceived that the subject of the cattle didn't suit the present +occasion. When he had before been at Belton. he had liked nothing so +much as talking about the cattle-sheds, and the land, and the kind of +animals which would suit the place; but now the novelty of the thing +was gone and the farmer did not wish to talk of his farm. In her +anxiety to find a topic which would not be painful, she went from the +cattle to the cow. 'You can't think what a pet Bess has been with us. +And she seems to think that she is privileged to go everywhere, and do +anything.' + +'I hope they have taken care that she has had winter food.' + +'Winter food! Why Pudge, and all the Pudges, and all the family in the +house, and all your cattle would have to want, before Bessy would be +allowed to miss a meal. Pudge always says, with his sententious shake +of the head, that the young squire was very particular about Bessy.' + +'Those Alderneys want a little care that's all.' + +Bessy was. of no better service to Clara in her present difficulty than +the less aristocratic herd of common cattle. There was a pause for a +moment, and then she began again. 'How did you leave your sister, Will?' + +'Much the same as usual. I think she has borne the first of the cold +weather better than she did last year.' + +'I do so wish that I knew her.' + +'Perhaps you will some day. But I don't suppose that you ever will.' + +'Why not?' + +'It's not likely that you'll ever come to Plaistow now and Mary never +leaves it except to go to my uncle's.' + +Clara instantly knew that he had heard of her engagement, though she +could not imagine from what source he had heard it. There was something +in the tone of his voice something especially in the expression of that +word 'now', which told her that it must be so. 'I should be so glad to +go there if I could,' she said, with that special hypocrisy which +belongs to women, and is allowed to them; 'but, of course, I cannot +leave papa in his present state.' + +'And if you did leave him you would not go to Plaistow.' + +'Not unless you and Mary asked me.' + +'And you wouldn't if we did. How could you?' + +'What do you mean, Will? It seems as though you were almost savage to +me.' + +'Am I? Well I feel savage, but not to you.' + +'Nor to any one, I hope, belonging to me.' She knew that it was all +coming; that the whole subject of her future life must now be +discussed; and she began to fear that the discussion might not be easy. +But she did not know how to give it a direction. She feared that he +would become angry, and yet she knew not why. He had accepted his own +rejection tranquilly, and could hardly take it as an offence that she +should now be engaged to Captain Aylmer. + +'Mr Green has told me', said he, 'that you are going to be married.' + +'How could Mr Green have known?' + +'He did know at least I suppose he knew, for he told me.' + +'How very odd.' + +'I suppose it is true?' Clara did not make any immediate answer, and +then he repeated the question. 'I suppose it is true?' + +'It is true that I am engaged.' + +'To Captain Aylmer?' + +'Yes; to Captain Aylmer. You know that I had known him very long. I +hope that you are not angry with me because I did not write and tell +you. Strange as it may seem, seeing that you had heard it already, it +is not a week yet since it was settled; and had I written to you, I +could only have addressed my letter to you here.' + +'I wasn't thinking about that. I didn't specially want you to write to +me. What difference would it make?' + +'But I should have felt that I owed it to your kindness and your regard +for me.' + +'My regard! What's the use of regard?' + +'You are not going to quarrel with me, Will, because because because . +If you had really been my brother, as you once said you would be, you +could not but have approved of what I have done.' + +'But I am not your brother.' + +'Oh, Will; that sounds so cruel!' + +'I am not your brother, and I have no right to approve or disapprove.' + +'I will not say that I could make my engagement with Captain Aylmer +dependent on your approval. It would not be fair to him to do so, and +it would put me into a false position.' + +' Have I asked you to make any such absurd sacrifice?' + +'Listen to me, Will. I say that I could not do that. But, short of +that, there is nothing I would not do to satisfy you. I think so much +of your judgment and goodness, and so very much of your affection; I +love you so dearly, that Oh, Will, say a kind word to me!' + +'A kind word; yes, but what sort of kindness? + +'You must know that Captain Aylmer' + +'Don't talk to me of Captain Aylmer. Have I said anything against him? +Have I ventured to make any objection? Of course, I know his +superiority to myself. I know that he is a man of the world, and that I +am not; that he is educated, and that I am ignorant; that he has a +position, and that I have none; that he has much to offer, and that I +have nothing. Of course, I see the difference; but that does not make +me comfortable.' + +'Will, I had learned to love him before I had ever seen you.' + +'Why didn't you tell me so, that I might have known there was no hope, +and have gone away utterly out of the kingdom? If it was all settled +then, why didn't you tell me, and save me from breaking my heart with +false hopes?' + +'Nothing was settled then. I hardly knew my own mind; but yet I loved +him. There; cannot you understand it? Have I not told you enough?' + +'Yes, I understand it.' + +'And do you blame me?' + +He paused awhile before he answered her. 'No; I do not blame you. I +suppose I must blame no one but myself. But you should bear with me. I +was so happy, and now I am so wretched.' + +There was nothing that she could say to comfort him. She had altogether +mistaken the nature of the man's regard, and had even mistaken the very +nature of the man. So much she now learned, and could tell herself that +had she known him better she would either have prevented this second +visit, or would have been careful that he should have learned the truth +from herself before he came. Now she could only wait till he should +again have got strength to hide his suffering under the veil of his own +manliness. + +'I have not a word to say against what you are doing,' he said at last; +'not a word. But you will understand what I mean when I tell you that +it is not likely that you will come to Plaistow.' + +'Some day, Will, when you have a wife of your own' + +'Very well; but we won't talk about that at present, if you please. +When I have, things will be different. In the meantime your course and +mine will be separate. You, I suppose, will be with him in London, +while I shall be at the devil as likely as not.' + +'How can you speak to me in that way? Is that like being my brother?' + +'I don't feel like being your brother. However, I beg your pardon, and +now we will have done with it. Spilt milk can't be helped, and my milk +pans have got themselves knocked over. That's all. Don't you think we +ought to go up to your father again?' + +On the following day Belton and Mr Amedroz discussed the same subject, +but the conversation went off very quietly. Will was determined not to +exhibit his weakness before the father as he had done before the +daughter. When the squire, with a maundering voice, drawled out some +expression of regret that his daughter's choice had not fallen in +another place, Will was able to say that bygones must he bygones. He +regretted it also, but that was now over. And when the squire +endeavoured to say a few ill-natured words about Captain Aylmer, Will +stopped him at once by asserting that the captain was all that he ought +to be. + +'And it would have made me so happy to think that my daughter's child +should come to live in his grandfather's old house,' murmured Mr +Amedroz. + +'And there's no knowing that he mayn't do so yet,' said Will. 'But all +these things are so doubtful that a man is wrong to fix his happiness +upon them.' After that he went out to ramble about, the place, and +before the third day was over Clara was able to perceive that, in spite +of what he had said, he was as busy about the cattle as though his +bread depended on them. + +Nothing had been said as yet about the Askertons, and Clara had +resolved that their name should not first be mentioned by her. Mrs +Askerton had prophesied that Will would have some communication to make +about herself, and Clara would at any rate see whether her cousin +would, of his own accord, introduce the subject. But three days passed +by, and he had made no allusion to the cottage or its inhabitants. This +in itself was singular, as the Askertons were the only local friends +whom Clara knew, and as Belton had become personally acquainted with +Mrs Askerton. But such was the case; and when Mr Amedroz once said +something about Mrs Askerton in the presence of both Clara and Belton, +they both of them shrank from the subject in a manner that made Clara +understand that any conversation about the Askertons was to be avoided. +On the fourth day Clara saw Mrs Askerton, but then Will Belton's name +was not mentioned. There was therefore, among them all, a sense of some +mystery which made them uncomfortable, and which seemed to admit of no +solution. Clara was more sure than ever that her cousin had made no +inquiries that he should not have made, and that he would put no +information that he might have to an improper use. But of such +certainty on her part she could say nothing. + +Three weeks passed by, and it seemed as though Belton's visit were to +come to an end without any further open trouble. Now and then something +was said about. Captain Aylmer; but it was very little, and Belton made +no further reference to his own feelings. It had come to be understood +that his visit was to be limited to a month; and to both him and Clara +the month wore itself away slowly, neither of them having much pleasure +in the society of the other. The old squire came downstairs once for an +hour or two, and spent the whole time in bitter complaints. Everything +was wrong, and everybody was ill-treating him. Even with Will he +quarrelled, or did his best to quarrel, in regard to everything about +the place, though at the same time he did not cease to grumble at his +visitor for going away and leaving him. Belton bore it all so well that +the grumbling and quarrelling did not lead to much; but it required all +his good-humour and broad common sense to prevent serious troubles and +misunderstanding. + +During the period of her cousin's visit at Belton, Clara received two +letters from Captain Aylmer, who was spending the Christmas holidays +with his father and mother, and on the day previous to that of her +cousin's departure there came a third. In neither of these letters was +there much said about Sir Anthony, but they were all very full of Lady +Aylmer. In the first he wrote with something of the personal enthusiasm +of a lover and therefore Clara hardly felt the little drawbacks to her +happiness which were contained in certain innuendoes respecting Lady +Aylmer's ideas, and Lady Aylmer's hopes, and Lady Aylmer's fears. Clara +was not going to marry Lady Aylmer, and did not fear but that she could +hold her own against any mother-in-law in the world when once they +should be brought face to face. And as long as Captain Aylmer seemed to +take her part rather than that of his mother it was all very well. The +second letter was more trying to her temper, as it contained one or two +small morsels of advice as to conduct which had evidently originated +with her ladyship. Now there is nothing, I take it, so irritating to an +engaged young lady as counsel from her intended husband's mamma. An +engaged young lady, if she be really in love, will take almost anything +from her lover as long as she is sure that it comes altogether from +himself. He may take what liberties he pleases with her dress. He may +prescribe high church or low church if he be not, as is generally the +case, in a condition to accept, rather than to give, prescriptions on +that subject. He may order almost any course of reading providing that +he supply the books. And he may even interfere with the style of +dancing, and recommend or prohibit partners. But he may not thrust his +mother down his future wife's throat. In answer to the second letter, +Clara did not say much to show her sense of objection. Indeed she said +nothing. But in saying nothing she showed her objection, and Captain +Aylmer understood it. Then came the third letter, and as it contained +matter touching upon our story, it shall be given entire and I hope it +may be taken by gentlemen about to marry as a fair specimen of the sort +of letter they ought not to write to the girls of their hearts: + +Aylmer Castle + +19th January, 186 . + +'Dearest Clara I got your letter of the 16th yesterday, and was sorry +you said nothing in reference to my mother's ideas as to the house at +Perivale. Of course she knew that I heard from you, and was +disappointed when, I was obliged to tell her, that you had not alluded +to the subject. She is very anxious about you, and, having now given +her assent to our marriage, is of course desirous of knowing that her +kindly feeling is reciprocated. I assured her that my own Clara was the +last person to be remiss in such a matter, and reminded her that young +ladies are seldom very careful in their mode of answering letters. +Remember, therefore, that I am now your guarantee, and send some +message to relieve me from my liability. + +When I told her of your father's long illness, which she laments +greatly, and of your cousin's continued presence at Belton Castle, she +seemed to think that Mr Belton's visit should not be prolonged. When I +told her that he was your nearest relative, she remarked that cousins +are the same as any other people which indeed they are. I know that my +Clara Will not suppose that I mean more by this than the words convey. +Indeed I mean less. But not having the advantage of a mother of your +own, you will not be sorry to know what are my mother's opinions on +matters which so nearly concern you. + +And now I come to another subject, as to which what I shall say will +surprise you very much. You know, I think, that my aunt Winterfield and +I had some conversation about your neighbours, the Askertons; and you +will remember that my aunt, whose ideas on such matters were always +correct, was a little afraid that your father had not made sufficient +inquiry respecting them before he allowed them to settle near him as +tenants. It now turns out that she is very far, indeed, from what she +ought to be. My mother at first thought of writing to you about this; +but she is a little fatigued, and at last resolved that under all the +circumstances it might be as well that I should tell you. It seems that +Mrs Askerton was married before to a certain Captain Berdmore, and that +she left her first husband during his lifetime under the protection of +Colonel Askerton. I believe they, the Colonel and Mrs Askerton, have +been since married. Captain Berdmore died about four years ago in +India, and it is probable that such a marriage has taken place. But +under these circumstances, as Lady Aylmer says, you will at once +perceive that all acquaintance between you and the lady should be +brought to an end. Indeed, your own sense of what is becoming to you, +either as an unmarried girl or as my future wife, or indeed as a woman +at all, will at once make you feel that this must be so. I think, if I +were you, I would tell the whole to Mr Amedroz; but this I will leave +to your own discretion. I can assure you that Lady Aylmer has full +proof as to the truth of what I tell you. + +I go up to London in February. I suppose I may hardly hope to see you +before the recess in July or August; but I trust that before that we +shall have fixed the day when you will make me the happiest of men. + +Yours, with truest affection, + +F. F. AYLMER.' + +It was a disagreeable, nasty letter from the first line to the last. +There was not a word in it which did not grate against Clara's feelings +not a thought expressed which did not give rise to fears as to her +future happiness. But the information which it contained about the +Askertons 'the communication,' as Mrs Askerton herself would have +called it made her for the moment almost forget Lady Aylmer and her +insolence. Could this story be true? And if true, how far would it be +imperative on her to take the hint,, or rather obey the order, which +had been given her? What steps should she take to learn the truth? Then +she remembered Mrs Askerton's promise 'If you want to ask any +questions, and will ask them of me, I will answer them.' The +communication, as to which Mrs Askerton had prophesied, had now been +made but it had been made not by Will Belton, whom Mrs Askerton had +reviled, but by Captain Aylmer, whose praises Mrs Askerton had so +loudly sung. As Clara thought of this, she could not analyse her own +feelings, which were not devoid of a certain triumph. She had known +that Belton would not put on his armour to attack a woman. Captain +Aylmer had done so, and she was hardly surprised at his doing it. Yet +Captain Aylmer was the man she loved! Captain Aylmer was the man she +had promised to marry. But, in truth, she hardly knew which was the man +she loved! + +This letter came on a Sunday morning, and on that day she and Belton +went to church together. On the following morning early he was to start +for Taunton. At church they saw Mrs Askerton, whose attendance there +was not very frequent. It seemed, indeed, as though she had come with +the express purpose of seeing Belton once during his visit. As they +left the church she bowed to him, and that was all they saw of each +other throughout the month that he remained in Somersetshire. + +'Come to me tomorrow Clara,' Mrs Askerton said as they all passed +through the village together. Clara muttered some reply, having not as +yet made up her mind as to what her conduct must be. Early on the next +morning Will Belton went away, and again Clara got up to give him his +breakfast. On this occasion he had no thought of kissing her. He went +away without having had a word said to him about Mrs Askerton, and then +Clara settled herself down to the work of deliberation. What should she +do with reference to the communication that had been made to her by +Captain Aylmer? + + +CHAPTER XVII + +AYLMER PARK + +Aylmer Park and the great house of the Aylmers together formed an +important and, as regarded in some minds, an imposing country +residence. The park was large, including some three or four hundred +acres, and was peopled, rather thinly, by aristocratic deer. It was +surrounded by an aristocratic paling, and was entered, at three +different points, by aristocratic lodges. The sheep were more numerous +than the deer, because Sir Anthony, though he had a large income, was +not in very easy circumstances. The ground was quite flat; and though +there were thin belts of trees, and some ornamental timber here and +there, it was not well wooded. It had no special beauty of its own, and +depended for its imposing qualities chiefly on its size, on its three +sets of double lodges, and on its old established character as an +important family place in the county. The house was of stone, with a +portico of Ionic columns which looked as though it hardly belonged of +right to the edifice, and stretched itself out grandly, with two +pretentious wings, which certainly gave it a just claim to be called a +mansion. It required a great many servants to keep it in order, and the +numerous servants required an experienced duenna, almost as grand in +appearance as Lady Aylmer herself, to keep them in order. There was an +open carriage and a close carriage, and a butler, and two footmen, and +three gamekeepers, and four gardeners, and there was a coachman, and +there were grooms, and sundry inferior men and boys about the place to +do the work which the gardeners and game-keepers and grooms did not +choose to do themselves. And they all became fat, and lazy, and stupid, +and respectable together; so that, as the reader will at once perceive, +Aylmer Park was kept up in the proper English style. Sir Anthony very +often discussed with his steward the propriety of lessening the +expenditure of his residence, and Lady Aylmer always attended and +probably directed these discussions; but it was found that nothing +could be done. Any attempt to remove a gamekeeper or a gardener would +evidently throw the whole machinery of Aylmer Park out of gear. If +retrenchment was necessary Aylmer Park must be abandoned, and the glory +of the Aylmers must be allowed to pale. But things were not so had as +that with Sir Anthony. The gardeners, grooms, and gamekeepers were +maintained; ten domestic servants sat down to four heavy meals in the +servants' hall every day, and Lady Aylmer contented herself with +receiving little or no company, and with stingy breakfasts and bad +dinners for herself and her husband and daughter. By all this it must +be seen that she did her duty as the wife of an English country +gentleman, and properly maintained his rank as a baronet. + +He was a heavy man, over seventy years of age, much afflicted with +gout, and given to no pursuit on earth which was available for his +comfort. He had been a hunting man, and he had shot also; but not with +that energy which induces a sportsman to carry on those amusements in +opposition to the impediments of age. He had been, and still was, a +county magistrate; but he had never been very successful in the +justice-room, and now seldom troubled the county with his judicial +incompetence. He had been fond of good dinners and good wine, and +still, on occasions, would make attempts at enjoyment in that line; but +the gout and Lady Aylmer together were too many for him, and he had but +small opportunity for filling up the blanks of his existence out of the +kitchen or cellar. He was a big man, with a broad chest, and a red +face, and a quantity of white hair and was much given to abusing his +servants. He took some pleasure in standing, with two sticks, on the +top of the steps before his own front door, and railing at any one who +came in his way. But he could not do this when Lady Aylmer was by; and +his dependents, knowing his habits, had fallen into an ill-natured way +of deserting the side of the house which he frequented. With his eldest +son, Anthony Aylmer, he was not on very good terms; and though there +was no positive quarrel, the heir did not often come to Aylmer Park. Of +his son Frederic he was proud and the best days of his life were +probably those which Captain Aylmer spent at the house. The table was +then somewhat more generously spread, and this was an excuse for having +up the special port in which he delighted. Altogether his life was not +very attractive; and though he bad been born to a baronetcy, and eight +thousand a-year, and the possession of Aylmer Park, I do not think that +he was, or had been, a happy man. + +Lady Aylmer was more fortunate. She had occupations of which her +husband knew nothing, and for which he was altogether unfit. Though she +could not succeed in making retrenchments, the could and did succeed in +keeping the household books. Sir Anthony could only blow up the +servants when they were thoughtless enough to come in his way, and in +doing that was restricted by his wife's presence. But Lady Aylmer could +get at them day and night. She had no gout to impede her progress about +the house and grounds, and could make her way to places which the +master never saw; and then she wrote many letters daily, whereas Sir +Anthony hardly ever took a pen in his hand. And she knew the cottages +of all the poor about the place, and knew also all their sins of +omission and commission. She was driven out, too, every day, summer and +winter, wet and dry, and consumed enormous packets of wool and worsted, +which were sent to her monthly from York. And she had a companion in +her daughter, whereas Sir Anthony had no companion. Wherever Lady +Aylmer went, Miss Aylmer went with her, and relieved what might +otherwise have been the tedium of her life. She had been a beauty on a +large scale, and was still aware that she had much in her personal +appearance which justified pride. She carried herself uprightly, with a +commanding nose and broad forehead; and though the graces of her own +hair had given way to a front, there was something even in the front +which added to her dignity, if it did not make her a handsome woman. + +Miss Aylmer, who was the eldest of the younger generation, and who was +now gently descending from her fortieth year, lacked the strength of +her mother's character, but admired her mother's ways, and followed +Lady Aylmer in all things at a distance. She was very good as indeed +was Lady Aylmer entertaining a high idea of duty, and aware that her +own life admitted of but little self- indulgence. She had no pleasures, +she incurred no expenses ; and was quite alive to the fact that as +Aylmer Park required a regiment of lazy, gormandizing servants to +maintain its position in the county, the Aylmers themselves should not +be lazy, and should not gormandize. No one was more careful with her +few shillings than Miss Aylmer. She had, indeed, abandoned a life's +correspondence with an old friend because she would not pay the postage +on letters to Italy. She knew that it was for the honour of the family +that one of her brothers should sit in Parliament, and was quite +willing to deny herself a new dress because sacrifices must be made to +lessen electioneering expenses. She knew that it was her lot to be +driven about slowly in a carriage with a livery servant before her and +another behind her, and then eat a dinner which the cook-maid would +despise. She was aware that it was her duty to be snubbed by her +mother, and to encounter her father's ill-temper, and to submit to her +brother's indifference, and to have, so to say, the slightest possible +modicum of personal individuality. She knew that she had never +attracted a man's love, and might hardly hope to make friends for the +comfort of her coming age. But still she was contented, and felt that +she had consolation for it all in the fact that she was am. Aylmer. She +read many novels, and it cannot but be supposed that something of +regret would steal over her as she remembered that nothing of the +romance of life had ever, or could ever, come in her way. She wept over +the loves of many women, though she had never been happy or unhappy in +her own. She read of gaiety, though she never encountered it, and must +have known that the world elsewhere was less dull than it was at Aylmer +Park. But she took her life as it came, without a complaint, and prayed +that God would make her humble in the high position to which it had +pleased Him to call her. She hated Radicals, and thought that Essays +and Reviews, and Bishop Colenso, came direct from the Evil One. She +taught the little children in the parish, being specially urgent to +them always to courtesy when they saw any of the family and was as +ignorant, meek, and stupid a poor woman as you shall find anywhere in +Europe. + +It may be imagined that Captain Aylmer, who knew the comforts of his +club and was accustomed to life in London, would feel the dullness of +the paternal roof to be almost unendurable. In truth, he was not very +fond of Aylmer Park, but he was more gifted with patience than most men +of his age and position, and was aware that it behoved him to keep the +Fifth Commandment if he expected to have his own days prolonged in the +land. He therefore made his visits periodically, and contented himself +with clipping a few days at both ends from the length prescribed by +family tradition, which his mother was desirous of exacting. September +was always to be passed at Aylmer Park, because of the shooting. In +September, indeed, the eldest son himself was wont to be there probably +with a friend or two and the fat old servants bestirred themselves, and +there was something of life about the place. At Christmas, Captain +Aylmer was there as the only visitor, and Christmas was supposed to +extend from the middle of December to the opening of Parliament. It +must, however, be explained, that on the present occasion his visit had +been a matter of treaty and compromise. He had not gone to Aylmer Park +at all till his mother had in some sort assented to his marriage with +Clara Amedroz. To this Lady Aylmer had been very averse, and there had +been many serious letters. Belinda Aylmer, the daughter of the house, +had had a bad time in pleading her brother's cause and some very harsh +words had been uttered but ultimately the matter had been arranged, +and, as is usual in such contests, the mother had yielded to the son. +Captain Aylmer had therefore gone down a few days before Christmas, +with a righteous feeling that he owed much to his mother for her +condescension, and almost prepared to make himself very disagreeable to +Clara by way of atoning to his family for his folly in desiring to +marry her. + +Lady Aylmer was very plain-spoken on the subject of all Clara's +shortcomings very plain-spoken, and very inquisitive. 'She will never +have one shilling, I suppose?' she said. + +'Yes, ma'am.' Captain Aylmer always called his mother 'ma'am'. 'She +will have that fifteen hundred pounds that I told you of.' + +'That is to say, you will have back the money which you yourself have +given her, Fred. I suppose that is the English of it?' Then Lady Aylmer +raised her eyebrows and looked very wise. + +'Just so, ma'am.' + +'You can't call that having anything of her own. In point of fact she +is penniless.' + +'It is no good harping on that,' said Captain Aylmer, somewhat sharply. + +'Not in the least, my dear; no good at all. Of course you have looked +it all in the face. You will be a poor man instead of a rich man, but +you will have enough to live on that is if she doesn't have a large +family which of course she will.' + +'I shall do very well, ma'am.' + +'You might do pretty well, I dare say, if you could live privately at +Perivale, keeping up the old family house there, and having no +expenses; but you'll find even that close enough with your seat in +Parliament, and the necessity there is that you should be half the year +in London. Of course she won't go to London. She can't expect it. All +that had better be made quite clear at once.' Hence had come the letter +about the house at Perivale, containing Lady Aylmer's advice on that +subject, as to which Clara made no reply. + +Lady Aylmer, though she had given her assent, was still not altogether +without hope. It might be possible that the two young people could be +brought to see the folly and error of their ways before it would be too +late; and that Lady Aylmer, by a judicious course of constant advice, +might be instrumental in opening the eyes, if not of ,the lady, at any +rate of the gentleman. She had great reliance on her own powers, and +knew well that a falling drop will hollow a stone. Her son manifested +no hot eagerness to complete his folly in a hurry, and to cut the +throat of his prospects out of hand. Time, therefore, would be allowed +to her, and she was a woman who could use time with patience. Having, +through her son, dispatched her advice about the house at Perivale +which which simply amounted to this, that Clara should expressly state +her willingness to live there alone whenever it might suit her husband +to be in London or elsewhere she went to work on other points, +connected with the Amedroz family, and eventually succeeded in learning +something very much like the truth as to poor Mrs Askerton and her +troubles. At first she was so comfortably horror-stricken by the +iniquity she had unravelled so delightfully shocked and astounded as +to believe that the facts as they then stood would suffice to annul the +match. + +'You don't tell me', she said to Belinda, 'that Frederic's wife will +have been the friend of such a woman as that!' And Lady Aylmer, sitting +upstairs with her household books before her, put up her great fat +hands and her great fat arms, and shook her head front and all in most +satisfactory dismay. + +'But I suppose Clara did not know it.' Belinda had considered it to be +an act of charity to call Miss Amedroz Clara since the family consent +had been given. + +'Didn't know it! They have been living in that sort of way that they +must have been confidantes in everything. Besides, I always hold that a +woman is responsible for her female friends.' + +'I think if she consents to drop her at once that is, absolutely to +make a promise that she will never speak to her again Frederic ought to +take that as sufficient. That is, of course, mamma, unless she has had +anything to do with it herself.' + +'After this I don't know how I'm to trust her. I don't indeed. It seems +to me that she has been so artful throughout. It has been a regular +case of catching.' + +'I suppose, of course, that she has been anxious to marry Frederic but +perhaps that was natural.' + +'Anxious look at her going there just when he had to meet his +constituents. How young women can do such things passes me! And how it +is that men don't see it all, when it's going on just under their +noses, I can't understand. And then, her getting my poor dear sister to +speak to him when she was dying! I didn't think your aunt would have +been so weak.' It will be thus seen that there was entire confidence on +this subject between Lady Aylmer and her daughter. + +We know what were the steps taken with reference to the discovery, and +how the family were waiting for Clara's reply. Lady Aylmer, though in +her words she attributed so much mean cunning to Miss Amedroz, still +was disposed to believe that that lady would show rather a high spirit +on this occasion; and trusted to that high spirit as the means for +making the breach which she still hoped to accomplish. It had been +intended or rather desired that Captain Aylmer's letter should have +been much sharper and authoritative than he had really made it; but the +mother could not write the letter herself, and had felt that to write +in her own name would not have served to create anger on Clara's part +against her betrothed. But she had quite succeeded in inspiring her son +with a feeling of horror against the iniquity of the Askertons. He was +prepared to be indignantly moral; and perhaps perhaps the misguided +Clara might be silly enough to say a word for her lost friend! Such +being the present position of affairs, there was certainly ground for +hope. + +And now they were all waiting for Clara's answer. Lady Aylmer had well +calculated the course of post, and knew that a letter might reach them +by Wednesday morning. 'Of course she will not write on Sunday,' she had +said to her son, 'but you have a right to expect that not another day +should go by.' Captain Aylmer, who felt that they were putting Clara on +her trial, shook his head impatiently, and made no immediate answer. +Lady Aylmer, triumphantly feeling that she had the culprit on the hip, +did not care to notice this. She was doing the best she could for his +happiness as she had done for his health, when in days gone by she had +administered to him his infantine rhubarb and early senna; but as she +had never then expected him to like her doses, neither did she now +expect that he should be well pleased at the remedial measures to which +he was to be subjected. + +No letter came on the Wednesday, nor did any come on the Thursday, and +then it was thought by the ladies at the Park that the time had come +for speaking a word or two. Belinda, at her mother's instance, began +the attack not in her mother's presence, but when she only was with her +brother. + +'Isn't it odd, Frederic, that Clara shouldn't write about those people +at Belton?' + +'Somersetshire is the other side of London, and letters take a long +time.' + +'But if she had written on Monday, her answer would have been here on +Wednesday morning indeed, you would have had it Tuesday evening, as +mamma sent over to Whitby for the day mail letters.' Poor Belinda was a +bad lieutenant, and displayed too much of her senior officer's tactics +in thus showing how much calculation and how much solicitude there had +been as to the expected letter. + +'If I am contented I suppose you may be,' said the brother. + +'But it does seem to me to be so very important! If she hasn't got your +letter, you know, it would be so necessary that you should write again, +so that the the the contamination should be stopped as soon as +possible.' Captain Aylmer shook his head and walked away. He was, no +doubt, prepared to be morally indignant morally very indignant at the +Askerton iniquity; but he did not like the word contamination as +applied to his future wife. + +'Frederic,' said his mother, later on the same day when the hardly-used +groom had returned from his futile afternoon's inquiry at the +neighbouring post. town 'I think you should do something in this +affair.' + +'Do what, ma'am? Go off to Belton myself?' + +'No, no. I certainly would not do that. In the first place it would be +very inconvenient to you, and in the next place it would not be fair +upon us. I did not mean that at all. But I think that something should +be done. She should be made to understand.' + +'You may be sure, ma'am, that she understands as well as anybody.' + +'I dare say she is clever enough at these kind of things.' + +'What kind of things?' + +'Don't bite my nose off, Frederic, because I am anxious about your +wife.' + +'What is it that you wish me to do? I have written to her, and can only +wait for her answer.' + +'It may be that she feels a delicacy in writing to you on such a +subject; though I own However, to make a long story short, if you like, +I will write to her myself.' + +'I don't see that that would do any good. It would only give her +offence.' + +'Give her offence, Frederic, to receive a letter from her future +mother-in-law from me! Only think, Frederic, what you are saying.' + +'If she thought she was being bullied about this, she would turn rusty +at once.' + +'Turn rusty! What am I to think of a young lady who is prepared to turn +rusty at once, too because she is cautioned by the mother of the man +she professes to love against an improper acquaintance against an +acquaintance so very improper?' Lady Aylmer's eloquence should have +been heard to be appreciated. It is but tame to say that she raised her +fat arms and fat hands, and wagged her front her front that was the +more formidable as it was the old one, somewhat rough and dishevelled, +which she was wont to wear in the morning. The emphasis of her words +should have been heard, and the fitting solemnity of her action should +have been seen. 'If there were any doubt,' she continued to say, 'but +there is no doubt. There are the damning proofs.' There are certain +words usually confined to the vocabularies of men, which women such as +Lady Aylmer delight to use on special occasions, when strong +circumstances demand strong language. As she said this she put her hand +below the table, pressing it apparently against her own august person; +but she was in truth indicating the position of a certain valuable +correspondence, which was locked up in the drawer of her writing-table. + +'You can write if you like it, of course; but I think you ought to wait +a few more days.' + +'Very well, Frederic; then I will wait. I will wait till Sunday. I do +not wish to take any step of which you do not approve. If you have not +heard by Sunday morning, then I will write to her on Monday.' + +On the Saturday afternoon life was becoming inexpressibly disagreeable +to Captain Aylmer, and he began to meditate an escape from the Park. In +spite of the agreement between him and his mother, which he understood +to signify that nothing more was to be said as to Clara's wickedness, +at any rate till Sunday after post-hour, Lady Aylmer had twice attacked +him on the Saturday, and had expressed her opinion that affairs were in +a very frightful position. Belinda went about the house in melancholy +guise, with her eyes rarely lifted off the ground, as though she were +prophetically weeping the utter ruin of her brother's respectability. +And even Sir Anthony had raised his eyes and shaken his head, when, on +opening the post-bag at the breakfast-table an operation which was +always performed by Lady Aylmer in person her ladyship had exclaimed, +'again no letter!' Then Captain Aylmer thought that he would fly, and +resolved that, in the event of such flight, he would give special +orders as to the re-direction of his own letters from the post-office +at Whitby. + +That evening, after dinner, as soon as his mother and sister had left +the room, he began the subject with his father. 'I think I shall go up +to town on Monday, sir,' said he. + +'So soon as that. I thought you were to stop till the 9th.' + +'There are things I must see to in London, and I believe I had better +go at once.' + +'Your mother will be greatly disappointed.' + +'I shall be sorry for that but business is business, you know.' Then +the father filled his glass and passed the bottle. He himself did not +at all like the idea of his son's going before the appointed time, but +he did not say a word of himself. He looked at the red-hot coals, and a +hazy glimmer of a thought passed through his mind, that he too would +escape from Aylmer Park if it were possible. + +'If you'll allow me, I'll take the dog-cart over to Whitby on Monday, +for the express train.' + +'You can do that certainly, but' + +'Sir?' + +'Have you spoken to your mother yet?' + +'Not yet. I will to-night.' + +'I think she'll be a little angry, Fred.' There was a sudden tone of +subdued confidence in the old man's voice as he made this suggestion, +which, though it was by no means a customary tone, his son well +understood. 'Don't you think she will be eh, a little?' + +'She shouldn't go on as she does with me about Clara,' said the captain. + +'Ah I supposed there was something of that. Are you drinking port? + +'Of course I know that she means all that is good,' said the son, +passing back the bottle. + +'Oh yes she means all that is good.' + +'She is the best mother in the world.' + +'You may say that, Fred and the best wife.' + +'But if she can't have her own way altogether ' then the son paused, +and the father shook his head. + +'Of course she likes to have her own way,' said Sir Anthony. + +'It's all very well in some things.' + +'Yes it's very well in some things' + +'But there are things which a man must decide for himself.' + +'I suppose there are,' said Sir Anthony, not venturing to think what +those things might be as regarded himself. + +'Now, with reference to marrying' + +'I don't know what you want with marrying at all, Fred. You ought to be +very happy as you are. By heavens, I don't know any one who ought to be +happier. If I were you, I know' + +'But you see, sir, that's all settled.' + +'If it's all settled, I suppose there's an end of it.' + +'It's no good my mother nagging at one.' + +'My dear boy, she's been nagging at me, as you call it, for forty +years. That's her way. The best woman in the world, as we were saying +but that's her way. And it's the way with most of them. They can do +anything if they keep it up anything. The best thing is to bear it if +you've got it to bear. But why on earth you should go and marry, seeing +that you're not the eldest son, and that you've got everything on earth +that you want as a bachelor, I can't understand. I can't indeed, Fred. +By heaven, I can't!' Then Sir Anthony gave a long sigh, and sat musing +awhile, thinking of the club in London to which he belonged, but which +he never entered of the old days in which he had been master of a +bedroom near St. James's Street of his old friends whom he never saw +now, and of whom he never heard, except as one and another, year after +year, shuffled away from their wives to that world in which there is no +marrying or giving in marriage. Ah, well,' he said, 'I suppose we may +as well go into the drawing-room. If it is settled, I suppose it is +settled. But it really seems to me that your mother is trying to do the +best she can for you. It really does.' + +Captain Aylmer did not say anything to his mother that night as to his +going, but as he thought of his prospects in the solitude of his +bedroom, he felt really grateful to his father for the solicitude which +Sir Anthony had displayed on his behalf. It was not often that he +received paternal counsel, but now that it had come he acknowledged its +value. That Clara Amedroz was a self-willed woman he thought that he +was aware. She was self-reliant, at any rate and by no means ready to +succumb with that pretty feminine docility which he would like to have +seen her evince. He certainly would not wish to be 'nagged' by his wife +Indeed he knew himself well enough to assure himself that he would not +stand it for a day. In his own house he would be master, and if there +came tempests he would rule them. He could at least promise himself +that. As his mother had been strong, so had his father been weak. But +he had as he felt thankful in knowing inherited his mother's strength +rather than his father's weakness. But, for all that, why have a +tempest to rule at all? Even though a man do rule his domestic +tempests, he cannot have a very quiet house with them. Then again he +remembered how very easily Clara had been won. He wished to be just to +all men and women, and to Clara among the number. He desired even to be +generous to her with a moderate generosity. But above all things he +desired not to be duped. What if Clara had in truth instigated her aunt +to that deathbed scene, as his mother had more than once suggested! He +did not believe it. He was sure that it had not been so. But what if it +were so? His desire to be generous and trusting was moderate but his +desire not to be cheated, not to be deceived, was immoderate. Upon the +whole might it not be well for him to wait a little longer, and +ascertain how Clara really intended to behave herself in this emergency +of the Askertons? Perhaps, after all, his mother might be right. + +On the Sunday the expected letter came but before its contents are made +known, it will be well that we should go back to Belton, and see what +was done by Clara in reference to the tidings which her lover had sent +her. + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +MRS ASKERTON'S STORY + +When Clara received the letter from Captain Aylmer on which so much is +supposed to hang, she made up her mind to say nothing of it to any one +not to think of it if she could avoid thinking of it till her cousin +should have left her. She could not mention it to him; for, though +there was no one from whom she would sooner have asked advice than from +him, even on so delicate a matter as this, she could not do so in the +present case, as her informant was her cousin's successful rival. When, +therefore, Mrs Askerton on leaving the church had spoken some customary +word to Clara, begging her to come to the cottage on the following day, +Clara had been unable to answer not having as yet made up her mind +whether she would or would not go to the cottage again. Of course the +idea of consulting her father occurred to her or rather the idea of +telling him; but any such telling would lead to some advice from him +which she would find it difficult to obey, and to which she would be +unable to trust. And, moreover, why should she repeat this evil story +against her neighbours? + +She had a long morning by herself after Will had started, and then she +endeavoured to arrange her thoughts and lay down for herself a line of +conduct. Presuming this story to be true, to what did it amount? It +certainly amounted to very much. If, in truth, this woman had left her +own husband and gone away to live with another man, she had by doing so +at any rate while she was doing so fallen in such a way as to make +herself unfit for the society of an unmarried young woman who meant to +keep her name unblemished before the world. Clara would not attempt any +further unravelling of the case, even in her own mind but on that point +she could not allow herself to have a doubt. Without condemning the +unhappy victim, she understood well that she would owe it to all those +who held her dear, if not to herself, to eschew any close intimacy with +one in such a position. The rules of the world were too plainly written +to allow her to guide herself by any special judgment of her own in +such a matter. But if this friend of hers having been thus unfortunate +had since redeemed, or in part redeemed, her position by a second +marriage, would it be then imperative upon her to remember the past for +ever, and to declare that the stain was indelible? Clara felt that with +a previous knowledge of such a story she would probably have avoided +any intimacy with Mrs Askerton. She would then have been justified in +choosing whether such intimacy should or should not exist, and would so +have chosen out of deference to the world's opinion. But now it was too +late for that. Mrs Askerton had for years been her friend; and Clara +had to ask herself this question: was it now needful did her own +feminine purity demand that she should throw her friend over because in +past years her life had been tainted by misconduct. + +It was clear enough at any rate that this was expected from her nay, +imperatively demanded by him who was to be her lord by him to whom her +future obedience would be due. Whatever might be her immediate +decision, he would have a right to call upon her to be guided by his +judgment as soon as she would become his wife. And indeed, she felt +that he had such right now unless she should decide that no such right +should be his, now or ever. It was still within her power to say that +she could not submit herself to such a rule as his but having received +his commands she must do that or obey them. Then she declared to +herself, not following the matter out logically, but urged to her +decision by sudden impulse, that at any rate she would not obey Lady +Aylmer. She would have nothing to do, in any such matter, with Lady +Aylmer. Lady Aylmer should be no god to her. That question about the +house at Perivale had been very painful to her. She felt that she could +have endured the dreary solitude at Perivale without complaint, if, +after her marriage, her husband's circumstances had made such a mode of +living expedient. But to have been asked to pledge her consent to such +a life before her marriage, to feel that he was bargaining for the +privilege of being rid of her, to know that the Aylmer people were +arranging that he, if he would marry her, should be as little troubled +with his wife as possible all this had been very grievous to her. She +had tried to console herself by the conviction that Lady Aylmer not +Frederic had been the sinner; but even in that consolation there had +been the terrible flaw that the words had come to her written by +Frederic's hand. Could Will Belton have written such a letter to his +future wife? + +In her present emergency she must be guided by her own judgment or her +own instincts not by any edicts from Aylmer Park! If in what she might +do she should encounter the condemnation of Captain Aylmer, she would +answer him she would be driven to answer him by counter-condemnation of +him and his mother. Let it be so. Anything would be better than a mean, +truckling subservience to the imperious mistress of Aylmer Park. + +But what should she do as regarded Mrs Askerton? That the story was +true she was beginning to believe. That there was some such history was +made certain to her by the promise which Mrs Askerton had given her. + +'If you want to ask any questions, and will ask them of me, I will +answer them.' Such a promise would not have been volunteered unless +there was something special to be told. It would be best, perhaps, to +demand from Mrs Askerton the fulfilment of this promise. But then in +doing so she must own from whence her information had come. Mrs +Askerton had told her that the 'communication' would be made by her +Cousin Will. Her Cousin Will had gone away without a word of Mrs +Askerton, and now the 'communication' had come from Captain Aylmer! + +The Monday and Tuesday were rainy days, and the rain was some excuse +for her not going to the cottage. On the Wednesday her father was ill, +and his illness made a further excuse for her remaining at home. But on +the Wednesday evening there came a note to her from Mrs Askerton. 'You +naughty girl, why do you not come to me? Colonel Askerton has been away +since yesterday morning, and I am forgetting the sound of my own voice. +I did not trouble you when your divine cousin was here for reasons; but +unless you come to me now I shall think that his divinity has +prevailed. Colonel Askerton is in Ireland, about some property, and +will not be back till next week.' + +Clara sent back a promise by the messenger, and on the following +morning she put on her hat and shawl, and started on her dreaded task. +When she left the house she had not even yet quite made up her mind +what she would do. At first she put her lover's letter into her pocket, +so that she might have it for reference; but, on second thoughts, she +replaced it in her desk, dreading lest she might be persuaded into +showing or reading some part of it. There had come a sharp frost after +the rain, and the ground was hard and dry. In order that she might gain +some further last moment for thinking, she walked round, up among the +rocks, instead of going straight to the cottage; and for a moment +though the air was sharp with frost she sat upon the stone where she +had been seated when her Cousin Will blurted out the misfortune of his +heart. She sat there on purpose that she might think of him, and recall +his figure, and the tones of his voice, and the look of his eyes, and +the gesture of his face. What a man he was so tender, yet so strong; so +thoughtful of others, and yet so self- sufficient! She had, +unconsciously, imputed to him one fault, that he had loved and then +forgotten his love unconsciously, for she had tried to think that this +was a virtue rather than a fault but now with a full knowledge of what +she was doing, but without any intention of doing it she acquitted him +of that one fault. Now that she could acquit him, she owned that it +would have been a fault. To have loved, and so soon to have forgotten +it! No; he had loved her truly, and alas! he was one who could not be +made to forget it. Then she went on to the cottage, exercising her +thoughts rather on the contrast between the two men than on the subject +to which she should have applied them. + +'So you have come at last!' said Mrs Askerton. 'Till I got your message +I thought there was to be some dreadful misfortune.' + +'What misfortune?' + +'Something dreadful! One often anticipates something very bad without +exactly knowing what. At least, I do. I am always expecting a +catastrophe when I am alone that is and then I am so often alone.' + +'That simply means low spirits, I suppose?' + +'It's more than that, my dear.' + +'Not much more, I take it.' + +'Once when we were in India we lived close to the powder magazine, and +we were always expecting to be blown up. You never lived near a powder +magazine.' + +'No, never unless there's one at Belton. But I should have thought that +was exciting.' + +'And then there was the gentleman who always had the sword hanging over +him by the horse's hair.' + +'What do you mean, Mrs Askerton?' + +'Don't look so innocent, Clara. You know what I mean. What were the +results at last of your cousin's diligence as a detective officer?' + +'Mrs Askerton, you wrong my cousin greatly. He never once mentioned +your name while he was with us. He did not make a single allusion to +you, or to Colonel Askerton, or to the cottage.' + +'He did not?' + +'Never once.' + +'Then I beg his pardon. But not the less has he been busy making +inquiries.' + +'But why should you say that there is a powder magazine, or a sword +hanging over your head?' + +'Ah, why?' + +Here was the subject ready opened to her hand, and yet Clara did not +know how to go on with it. It seemed to her now that it would have been +easier for her to commence it, if Mrs Askerton had made no commencement +herself. As it was, she knew not how to introduce the subject of +Captain Aylmer's letter, and was almost inclined to wait, thinking that +Mrs Askerton might tell her own story without any such introduction. +But nothing of the kind was forthcoming. Mrs Askerton began to talk of +the frost, and then went on to abuse Ireland, complaining of the +hardship her husband endured in being forced to go thither in winter to +look after his tenants. + +'What did you mean', said Clara, at last, 'by the sword hanging over +your head?' + +'I think I told you what I meant pretty plainly. If you did not +understand me I cannot tell you more plainly.' + +'It is odd that you should say so much, and not wish to say more.' + +'Ah! you are making your inquiries now.' + +'In my place would not you do so too? How can I help it when you talked +of a sword? Of course you make me ask what the sword is.' + +'And am I bound to satisfy your curiosity?' + +'You told me, just before my cousin came here, that if I asked any +question you would answer me.' + +'And I am to understand that you are asking such a question now?' + +'Yes if it will not offend you.' + +'But what if it will offend me offend me greatly? Who likes to be +inquired into?' + +'But you courted such inquiry from me.' + +'No, Clara, I did not do that. I'll tell you what I did. I gave you to +understand that if it was needful that you should hear about me and my +antecedents certain matters as to which Mr Belton had been inquiring +into in a manner that I thought to be most unjustifiable I would tell +you that story.' + +'And do so without being angry with me for asking.' + +'I meant, of course, that I would not make it a ground for quarrelling +with you. If I wished to tell you, I could do so without any inquiry.' + +'I have sometimes thought that you did wish to tell me.' + +'Sometimes I have almost.' + +'But you have no such wish now?' + +'Can't you understand? It may well be that one so much alone as I am +living here without a female friend, or even acquaintance, except +yourself should often feel a longing for that comfort which full +confidence between us would give me.' + +'Then why not' + +'Stop a moment. Can't you understand that I may feel this, and yet +entertain the greatest horror against inquiry? We all like to tell our +own sorrows, but who likes to be inquired into? Many a woman burns to +make a full confession, who would be as mute as death before a +policeman.' + +'I am no policeman.' + +'But you are determined to ask a policeman's questions?' + +To this Clara made no immediate reply. She felt that she was acting +almost falsely in going on with such questions, while she was in fact +aware of all the circumstances which Mrs Askerton could tell but she +did not know how to declare her knowledge and to explain it. She +sincerely wished that Mrs Askerton should be made acquainted with the +truth; but she had fallen into a line of conversation which did not +make her own task easy. But the idea of her own hypocrisy was +distressing to her, and she rushed at the difficulty with hurried, +eager words, resolving that, at any rate, there should be no longer any +doubt between them. + +'Mrs Askerton,' she said, 'I know it all. There is nothing for you to +tell. I know what the sword is.' + +'What is it that you know?' + +'That you were married long ago to Mr Berdmore.' + +'Then Mr Belton did do me the honour of talking about me when he was +here?' As she said this she rose from her chair, and stood before Clara +with flashing eyes. + +'Not a word. He never mentioned your name, or the name of any one +belonging to you. I have heard it from another.' + +'From what other?' + +'I do not know that that signifies but I have learned it.' + +'Well and what next?' + +'I do not know what next. As so much has been told me, and as you had +said that I might ask you, I have come to you, yourself. I shall +believe your own story more thoroughly from yourself than from any +other teller.' + +'And suppose I refuse to answer you?' + +'Then I can say nothing further.' + +'And what will you do?' + +'Ah that I do not know. But you are harsh to me, while I am longing to +be kind to you. Can you not see that this has been all forced upon me +partly by yourself?' + +'And the other part who has forced that upon you? Who is your +informant? If you mean to be generous, be generous altogether. Is it a +man or a woman that has taken the trouble to rip up old sorrows that my +name may be blackened? But what matters? There I was married to Captain +Berdmore. I left him, and went away with my present husband. For three +years I was a man's mistress, and not his wife. When that poor creature +died we were married, and then came here. Now you know it all all all +though doubtless your informant has made a better story of it. After +that, perhaps, I have been very wicked to sully the air you breathe by +my presence.' + +'Why do you say that to me?' + +'But no you do not know it all. No one can ever know it all. No one can +ever know how I suffered before I was driven to escape, or how good to +me has been he who who who ' Then she turned her back upon Clara, and, +walking off to the window, stood there, hiding the tears which clouded +her eyes, and concealing the sobs which choked her utterance. + +For some moments for a space which seemed long to both of them Clara +kept her seat in silence. She hardly dared to speak; and though she +longed to show her sympathy, she knew not what to say. At last she too +rose and followed the other to the window. She uttered no words, +however, but gently putting her arm around Mrs Askerton's waist, stood +there close to her, looking out upon the cold wintry flower-beds not +venturing to turn her eyes upon her companion. The motion of her arm +was at first very gentle, but after a while she pressed it closer, and +thus by degrees drew her friend to her with an eager, warm, and +enduring pressure. Mrs Askerton made some little effort towards +repelling her, some faint motion of resistance; but as the embrace +became warmer the poor woman yielded herself to it, and allowed her +face to fall upon Clara's shoulder. So they stood, speaking no word, +making no attempt to rid themselves of the tears which were blinding +their eyes, but gazing out through the moisture on the bleak wintry +scene before them. Clara's mind was the more active at the moment, for +she was resolving that in this episode of her life she would accept no +lesson whatever from Lady Aylmer's teaching no, nor any lesson whatever +from the teaching of any Aylmer in existence. And as for the world's +rules, she would fit herself to them as best she could; but no such +fitting should drive her to the unwomanly cruelty of deserting this +woman whom she had known and loved and whom she now loved with a +fervour which she had never before felt towards her. + +'You have heard it all now,' said Mrs Askerton at last. + +'And is it not better so?' + +'Ah I do not know. How should I know?' + +'Do you not know?' And as she spoke, Clara pressed her arm still +closer. 'Do you not know yet?' Then, turning herself half round, she +clasped the other woman full in her arms, and kissed her forehead and +her lips. + +'Do you not know yet?' + +'But you will go away, and people will tell you that you are wrong.' + +'What people?' said Clara, thinking as she spoke of the whole family at +Aylmer Park. + +'Your husband will tell you so.' + +'I have no husband as yet to order me what to think or what not to +think.' + +'No not quite as yet. But you will tell him all this.' + +'He knows it. It was he who told me. + +'What! Captain Aylmer?' + +'Yes; Captain Aylmer.' + +'And what did he say?' + +'Never mind. Captain Aylmer is not my husband not as yet. If he takes +me, he must take me as I am, not as he might possibly have wished me to +be. Lady Aylmer' + +'And does Lady Aylmer know it?' + +'Yes. Lady Aylmer is one of those hard, severe women who never forgive.' + +'Ah, I see it all now. I understand it all. Clara, you must forget me, +and come here no more. You shall not be ruined because you are +generous.' + +'Ruined! If Lady Aylmer's displeasure can ruin me, I must put up with +ruin. I will not accept her for my guide. I am too old, and have had my +own way too long. Do not let that thought trouble you. In this matter I +shall judge for myself. I have judged for myself already.' + +'And your father?' + +'Papa knows nothing of it.' + +'But you will tell him?' + +'I do not know. Poor papa is very ill. If he were well I would tell +him, and he would think as I do.' + +'And your cousin?' + +'You say that he has heard it all.' + +'I think so. Do you know that I remembered him the first moment that I +saw him? But what could I do? When you mentioned to me my old name, my +real name, how could I be honest? I have been driven to do that which +has made honesty to me impossible. My life has been a lie; and yet how +could I help it? I must live somewhere and how could I live anywhere +without deceit?' + +'And yet that is so sad.' + +'Sad indeed! But what could I do? Of course I was wrong in the +beginning. Though how am I to regret it, when it has given me such a +husband as I have? Ah if you could know it all, I think I think you +would forgive me.' + +Then by degrees she told it all, and Clara was there for hours +listening to her story. The reader will not care to hear more of it +than he has heard. Nor would Clara have desired any closer revelation; +but as it is often difficult to obtain a confidence, so is it +impossible to stop it in the midst of its effusion. Mrs Askerton told +the history of her life of her first foolish engagement, her belief, +her half-belief, in the man's reformation, of the miseries which +resulted from his vices, of her escape and shame, of her welcome +widowhood, and of her second marriage. And as she told it, she paused +at every point to insist on the goodness of him who was now her +husband. 'I shall tell him this,' she said at last. 'as I do +everything; and then he will know that I have in truth got a friend.' + +She asked again and again about Mr Belton, but Clara could only tell +her that she knew nothing of her cousin's knowledge. Will might have +heard it all, but if so he had kept his information to himself. + +'And now what shall you do?' Mrs Askerton asked of Clara, at length +prepared to go. + +'Do? in what way? I shall do nothing.' + +'But you will write to Captain Aylmer?' + +'Yes I shall write to him.' + +'And about this?' + +'Yes I suppose I must write to him.' + +'And what will you say?' + +'That I cannot tell. I wish I knew what to say. If it were to his +mother I could write my letter easily enough.' + +'And what would you say to her?' + +'I would tell her that I was responsible for my own friends. But I must +go now. Papa will complain that I am so long away.' Then there was +another embrace, and at last Clara found her way out of the house and +was alone again in the park. + +She clearly acknowledged to herself that she had a great difficulty +before her. She had committed herself altogether to Mrs Askerton, and +could no longer entertain any thought of obeying the very plainly +expressed commands which Captain Aylmer had given her. The story as +told by Captain Aylmer had been true throughout; but, in the teeth of +that truth, she intended to maintain her acquaintance with Mrs +Askerton. From that there was now no escape. She had been carried away +by impulse in what she had done and said at the cottage, but she could +not bring herself to regret it. She could not believe that it was her +duty to throw over and abandon a woman whom she loved, because that +woman had once, in her dire extremity, fallen away from the path of +virtue. But how was she to write the letter? + +When she reached her father he complained of her absence, and almost +scolded her for having been so long at the cottage. 'I cannot see', +said he, 'what you find in that woman to make so much of her.' + +'She is the only neighbour I have, papa.' + +'And better none than her, if all that people say of her is true.' + +'All that people say is never true, papa.' + +'There is no smoke without fire. I am not at all sure that it's good +for you to be so much with her.' + +'Oh, papa don't treat me like a child.' + +'And I'm sure it's not good for me that you should be so much away. For +anything I have seen of you all day you might have been at Perivale. +But you are going soon, altogether, so I suppose I may as well make up +my mind to it.' + +'I'm not going for a long time yet, papa.' + +'What do you mean by that?' + +'I mean that there's nothing to take me away from here at present.' + +'You are engaged to be married.' + +'But it will be a long engagement. It is one of those engagements in +which neither party is very anxious for an immediate change.' There was +something bitter in Clara's tone as she said this, which the old man +perceived, but could only half understand. Clara remained with him then +for the rest of the day, going down-stairs for five minutes to her +dinner, and then returning to him and reading aloud while he dozed. Her +winter evenings at Belton Castle were not very bright, but she was used +to them and made no complaint. + +When she left her father for the night she got out her desk and +prepared herself for her letter to her lover. She was determined that +it should be finished that night before she went to bed. And it was so +finished; though the writing of it gave her much labour, and occupied +her till the late hours had come upon her. When completed it was as +follows: + +'Belton Castle, + +Thursday Night. + +Dear Frederic I received your letter last Sunday, but I could not +answer it sooner, as it required much consideration, and also some +information which I have only obtained today. About the plan of living +at Perivale I will not say much now, as my mind is so full of other +things. I think, however, I may promise that I will never make any +needless difficulty as to your plans. My cousin Will left us on Monday, +so your mother need not have any further anxiety on that head. It does +papa good to have him here, and for that reason I am sorry that he has +gone. I can assure you that I don't think what you said about him meant +anything at all particular. Will is my nearest cousin, and of course +you would be glad that I should like him which I do, very much. + +And now about the other subject, which I own has distressed me, as you +supposed it would I mean about Mrs Askerton. I find it very difficult +in your letter to divide what comes from your mother and what from +yourself. Of course I want to make the division, as every word from you +has great weight with me. At present I don't know Lady Aylmer +personally, and I cannot think of her as I do of you. Indeed, were I to +know her ever so well, I could not have the same deference for her that +I have for the man who is to be my husband. I only say this, as I fear +that Lady Aylmer and I may not perhaps agree about Mrs Askerton. + +I find that your story about Mrs Askerton is in the main true. But the +person who told it you does not seem to have known any of the +provocations which she received. She was very badly treated by Captain +Berdmore, who, I am afraid, was a terrible drunkard; and at last she +found it impossible to stay with him. So she went away. I cannot tell +you how horrid it all was, but I am sure that if I could make you +understand it, it would go a long way in inducing you to excuse her. +She was married to Colonel Askerton as soon as Captain Berdmore died, +and this took place before she came to Belton. I hope you will remember +that. It all occurred out in India, and I really hardly know what +business we have to inquire about it now. + +At any rate, as I have been acquainted with her a long time, and very +intimately, and as I am sure that she has repented of anything that has +been wrong, I do not think that I ought to quarrel with her now. Indeed +I have promised her that I will not. I think I owe it you to tell you +the whole truth, and that is the truth. + +Pray give my regards to your mother, and tell her that I am sure she +would judge differently if she were in my place. This poor woman has no +other friend here; and who am I, that I should take upon myself to +condemn her? I cannot do it. Dear Frederic, pray do not be angry with +me for asserting my own will in this matter. I think you would wish me +to have an opinion of my own. In my present position I am bound to have +one, as I am, as yet, responsible for what I do myself. I shall be +very, very sorry, if I find that you differ from me; but still I cannot +be made to think that I am wrong. I wish you were here, that we might +talk it over together, as I think that in that case you would agree +with me. + +If you can manage to come to us at Easter, or any other time when +Parliament does not keep you in London, we shall be so delighted to see +you. + +Dear Frederic, + +Yours very affectionately, + +Clara Amedroz.' + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +MISS AMEDROZ HAS ANOTHER CHANCE + +It was on a Sunday morning that Clara's letter reached Aylmer Park, +and Frederic Aylmer found it on his plate as he took his place at the +breakfast-table. Domestic habits at Aylmer Park had grown with the +growth of years till they had become adamantine, and domestic habits +required prayers every morning at a quarter before nine o'clock. At +twenty minutes before nine Lady Aylmer would always be in the +dining-room to make the tea and open the post-bag, and as she was +always there alone, she knew more about other people's letters than +other people ever knew about hers. When these operations were over she +rang the bell, and the servants of the family, who by that time had +already formed themselves into line in the hail, would march in, and +settle themselves on benches prepared for them near the sideboard which +benches were afterwards carried away by the retiring procession. Lady +Aylmer herself always read prayers, as Sir Anthony never appeared till +the middle of breakfast. Belinda would usually come down in a scurry as +she heard her mother's bell, in such a way as to put the army in the +hail to some confusion; but Frederic Aylmer, when he was at home, +rarely entered the room till after the service was over. At Perivale no +doubt he was more strict in his conduct; but then at Perivale he had +special interests and influences which were wanting to him at Aylmer +Park. During those five minutes Lady Aylmer would deal round the +letters to the several plates of the inmates of her house not without +looking at the post-office marks upon them; and on this occasion she +had dealt a letter from Clara to her son. + +The arrival of the letter was announced to Frederic Aylmer before he +took his seat. + +'Frederic,' said her ladyship, in her most portentous voice, 'I am glad +to say that at last there is a letter from Belton.' + +He made no immediate reply, but making his way slowly to his place, +took up the little packet, turned it over in his hand, and then put it +into his pocket. Having done this, he began very slowly with his tea +and egg. For three minutes his mother was contented to make, or to +pretend to make, some effort in the same direction. Then her impatience +became too much for her, and she began to question him. + +'Will you not read it, Frederic?' + +'Of course I shall, ma'am.' + +'But why not do so now, when you know how anxious we are?' + +'There are letters which one would sooner read in private.' + +'But when a matter is of so much importance ,' said Belinda. + +'The importance, Bel, is to me, and not to you,' said her brother. + +'All we want to know is,' continued the sister, 'that she promises to +be guided by you in this matter; and of course we feel quite sure that +she will.' + +'If you are quite sure that must be sufficient for you.' + +'I really think you need not quarrel with your sister,' said Lady +Aylmer, 'because she is anxious as to the the respectability, I must +say, for there is no other word, of a young lady whom you propose to +make your wife. I can assure you that I am very anxious myself very +anxious indeed.' + +Captain Aylmer made no answer to this, but he did not take the letter +from his pocket. He drank his tea in silence, and in silence sent up +his cup to be refilled. In silence also was it returned to him. He ate +his two eggs and his three bits of toast, according to his custom, and +when he had finished, sat out his three or four minutes as was usual. +Then be got up to retire to his room, with the envelope still unbroken +in his pocket. + +'You will go to church with us, I suppose?' said Lady Aylmer. + +'I won't promise, ma'am; but if I do, I'll walk across the park so that +you need not wait for me.' + +Then both the mother and sister knew that the Member for Perivale did +not intend to go to church on that occasion. To morning service Sir +Anthony always went, the habits of Aylmer Park having in them more of +adamant in reference to him than they had as regarded his son. + +When the father, mother, and daughter returned, Captain Aylmer had read +his letter, and bad, after doing so, received further tidings from +Belton Castle further tidings which for the moment prevented the +necessity of any reference to the letter, and almost drove it from his +own thoughts. When his mother entered the library he was standing +before the fire with a scrap of paper in his hand. + +'Since you have been at church there has come a telegraphic message,' +he said. + +'What is it, Frederic? Do not frighten me if you can avoid it!' + +'You need not be frightened, ma'am, for you did not know him. Mr +Amedroz is dead.' + +'No!' said Lady Aylmer, seating herself. + +'Dead!' said Belinda, holding up her hands. + +'God bless my soul!' said the baronet, who had now followed the ladies +into the room. 'Dead! Why, Fred, he was five years younger than I am!' + +Then Captain Aylmer read the words of the message ' Mr Amedroz died +this morning at five o'clock. I have sent word to the lawyer and to Mr +Belton.' + +'Who does it come from?' asked Lady Aylmer. + +'From Colonel Askerton.' + +Lady Aylmer paused, and shook her head, and moved her foot uneasily +upon the carpet. The tidings, as far as they went, might be +unexceptionable, but the source from whence they had come had evidently +polluted them in her ladyship's judgment. Then she uttered a series of +inter-ejaculations, expressions of mingled sorrow and anger. + +'There was no one else near her,' said Captain Aylmer apologetically. + +'Is there no clergyman in the parish?' + +'He lives a long way off. The message had to be sent at once.' + +'Are there no servants in the house? It looks it looks . But I am the +last person in the world to form a harsh judgment of a young woman at +such a moment as this. What did she say in her letter, Fred?' + +Captain Aylmer had devoted two hours of consideration to the letter +before the telegram had come to relieve his mind by a fresh subject, +and in those two hours he had not been able to extract much of comfort +out of the document. It was, as he felt, a stubborn, stiff-necked, +disobedient, almost rebellious letter. It contained a manifest defiance +of his mother, and exhibited doctrines of most questionable morality. +It had become to him a matter of doubt whether he could possibly marry +a woman who could entertain such ideas and write such a letter. If the +doubt was to be decided in his own mind against Clara, he had better +show the letter at once to his mother, and allow her ladyship to fight +the battle for him a task which, as he well knew, her ladyship would +not be slow to undertake. But he had not succeeded in answering the +question satisfactorily to himself when the telegram arrived and +diverted all his thoughts. Now that Mr Amedroz was dead, the whole +thing might be different. Clara would come away from Belton and Mrs +Askerton, and begin life, as it were, afresh It seemed as though in +such an emergency she ought to have another chance; and therefore he +did not hasten to pronounce his judgment. Lady Aylmer also felt +something of this, and forbore to press her question when it was not +answered. + +'She will have to leave Belton now, I suppose?' said Sir Anthony. + +'The property will belong to a distant cousin a Mr William Belton.' + +'And where will she go?' said Lady Aylmer. 'I suppose she has no place +that she can call her home?' + +'Would it not be a good thing to ask her here?' said Belinda. Such a +question as that was very rash on the part of Miss Aylmer. In the first +place, the selection of guests for Aylmer Park was rarely left to her; +and in this special case she should have understood that such a +proposal should have been fully considered by Lady Aylmer before it +reached Frederic's ears. + +'I think it would be a very good plan,' said Captain Aylmer, generously. + +Lady Aylmer shook her head. 'I should like much to know what she has +said about that unfortunate connexion before I offer to take her by the +hand myself. I'm sure Fred will feel that I ought to do so.' + +But Fred retreated from the room without showing the letter. He +retreated from the room and betook himself to solitude, that he might +again endeavour to make up his mind as to what he would do. He put on +his hat and his great-coat and gloves, and went off without his +luncheon that he might consider it all. Clara Amedroz had now no home +and, indeed, very little means of providing one. If he intended that +she should be his wife, he must furnish her with a home at once. It +seemed to him that three houses might possibly be open to her of which +one, the only one which under such circumstances would be proper, was +Aylmer Park. The other two were Plaistow Hall and Mrs Askerton's +cottage at Belton. As to the latter should she ever take shelter there, +everything must be over between him and her. On that point there could +be no doubt. He could not bring himself to marry a wife out of Mrs +Askerton's drawing-room, nor could he expect his mother to receive a +young woman brought into the family under such circumstances. And +Plaistow Hall was almost as bad. It was as bad to him, though it would, +perhaps, be less objectionable in the eyes of Lady Aylmer. Should Clara +go to Plaistow Hall there must be an end to everything. Of that also he +taught himself to be quite certain. Then he took out Clara's letter and +read it again. She acknowledged the story about the woman to be true +such a story as it was too and yet refused to quarrel with the woman +had absolutely promised the woman not to quarrel with her! Then he read +and re-read the passage in which Clara claimed the right of forming her +own opinion in such matters. Nothing could be more indelicate nothing +more unfit for his wife. He began to think that he had better show the +letter to his mother, and acknowledge that the match must be broken +off. That softening of his heart which had followed upon the receipt of +the telegraphic message departed from him as he dwelt upon the +stubborn, stiff-necked, unfeminine obstinacy of the letter. Then he +remembered that nothing had as yet been done towards putting his aunt's +fifteen hundred pounds absolutely into Clara's hands; and he remembered +also that she might at the present moment be in great want. William +Belton might, not improbably, assist her in her want, and this idea was +wormwood to him in spite of his almost formed resolution to give up his +own claims. He calculated that the income arising from fifteen hundred +pounds would be very small, and he wished that he had counselled his +aunt to double the legacy. He thought very much about the amount of the +money and the way in which it might be beat expended, and was, after +his cold fashion, really solicitous as to Clara's welfare. If he could +have fashioned her future life, and his own too, in accordance with his +own now existing wishes, I think he would have arranged that neither of +them should marry at all, and that to him should be assigned the duty +and care of being Clara's protector with full permission to tell her +his mind as often as he pleased on the subject of Mrs Askerton. Then he +went in and wrote a note to Mr Green, the lawyer, desiring that the +interest of the fifteen hundred pounds for one year might be at once +remitted to Miss Amedroz. He knew that he ought to write to her himself +immediately, without loss of a post; but how was he to write while +things were in their present position? Were he now to condole with her +on her father's death, without any reference to the great Askerton +iniquity, he would thereby be condoning all that was past, and +acknowledging the truth and propriety of her arguments. And he would be +doing even worse than that. He would be cutting the ground absolutely +from beneath his own feet as regarded that escape from his engagement +which he was contemplating. + +What a cold-hearted, ungenerous wretch he must have been! That will be +the verdict against him. But the verdict will be untrue. Cold-hearted +and ungenerous he was; but he was no wretch as men and women are +now-a-days called wretches. He was chilly hearted, but yet quite +capable of enough love to make him a good son, a good husband, and a +good father too. And though he was ungenerous from the nature of his +temperament, he was not close-fisted or over covetous. And he was a +just man, desirous of obtaining nothing that was not fairly his own. +But, in truth, the artists have been so much in the habit of painting +for us our friends' faces without any of those flaws and blotches with +which work and high living are apt to disfigure us, that we turn in +disgust from a portrait in which the roughnesses and pimples are made +apparent. + +But it was essential that he should now do something, and before he sat +down to dinner he did show Clara's letter to his mother. 'Mother,' he +said, as he sat himself down in her little room upstairs and she knew +well by the tone of his voice, and by the mode of his address, that +there was to be a solemn occasion, and a serious deliberative council +on the present existing family difficulty 'mother, of course I have +intended to let you know what is the nature of Clara's answer to my +letter.' + +'I am glad there is to be no secret between us, Frederic. You know how +I dislike secrets in families.' As she said this she took the letter +out of her son's hands with an eagerness that was almost greedy. As she +read it, he stood over her, watching her eyes, as they made their way +down the first page and on to the second, and across to the third, and +so, gradually on, till the whole reading was accomplished. What Clara +had written about her Cousin Will, Lady Aylmer did not quite +understand; and on this point now she was so little anxious that she +passed over that portion of the letter readily. But when she came to +Mrs Askerton and the allusions to herself, she took care to comprehend +the meaning and weight of every word. 'Divide your words and mine! Why +should we want to divide them? Not agree with me about Mrs Askerton! +How is it possible that any decent young woman should not agree with +me! It is a matter in which there is no room for a doubt. True the +story true! Of course it is true. Does she not know that it would not +have reached her from Aylmer Park if it were not true? Provocation! +Badly treated! Went away! Married to Colonel Askerton as soon as +Captain Berdmore died! Why, Frederic, she cannot have been taught to +understand the first principle of morals in life! And she that was so +much with my poor sister! Well, well!' The reader should understand +that the late Mrs Winterfield and Lady Aylmer had never been able to +agree with each other on religious subjects. 'Remember that they are +married. Why should we remember anything of the kind? It does not make +an atom of difference to the woman's character. Repented! How can Clara +say whether she has repented or not? But that has nothing to do with +it. Not quarrel with her as she calls it! Not give her up! Then, +Frederic, of course it must be all over, as far as you are concerned.' +When she had finished her reading, she returned the letter, still open, +to her son, shaking her head almost triumphantly. As far as I am a +judge of a young woman's character, I can only give you one counsel,' +said Lady Aylmer solemnly. + +'I think that she should have another chance,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'What other chance can you give her? It seems to me that she is +obstinately bent on her own destruction.' + +'You might ask her to come here, as Belinda suggested.' + +'Belinda was very foolish to suggest anything of the kind without more +consideration.' + +'I suppose that my future wife would be made welcome here? + +'Yes, Frederic, certainly. I do not know who could be more welcome. But +is she to be your wife?' + +'We are engaged.' + +'But does not that letter break any engagement? Is there not enough in +that to make such a marriage quite out of the question? What do you +think about it yourself, Frederic?' + +'I think that she should have another chance.' + +What would Clara have thought of all this herself if she could have +heard the conversation between Lady Aylmer and her betrothed husband, +and have known that her lover was proposing to give her 'another +chance?' But it is lucky for us that we seldom know what our best +friends say on our behalf, when they discuss us and our faults behind +our backs. + +'What chance, Frederic, can she have? She knows all about this horrid +woman, and yet refuses to give her up! What chance can she have after +that?' + +'I think that you might have her here and talk to her.' Lady Aylmer, in +answer to this, simply shook her head. And I think she was right in +supposing that such shaking of her head was a sufficient reply to her +son's proposition. What talking could possibly be of service to such a +one as this Miss Amedroz? Why should she throw her pearls before swine? +'We must either ask her to come here, or else I must go to her,' said +Captain Aylmer. + +'I don't see that at all, Frederic.' + +'I think it must be so. As she is situated at present she has got no +home; and I think it would be very horrid that she should be driven +into that woman's house, simply because she has no other shelter for +her head.' + +'I suppose she can remain where she is for the present? + +'She is all alone, you know; and it must be very gloomy and her cousin +can turn her out at a moment's notice.' + +'But that would not entitle her to come here, unless' + +'No I quite understand that. But you cannot wonder that I should feel +the hardship of her position.' + +'Who is to be blamed if it be hard? You see, Frederic, I take my +standing upon that letter her own letter. How am I to ask a young woman +into my house who declares openly that my opinion on such a matter goes +for nothing with her? How am I to do it? That's what I ask you. How am +I to do it? It's all very well for Belinda to suggest this and that. +But how am I to do it? That's what I want to know.' + +But at last Lady Aylmer managed to answer the question for herself, and +did do it. But this was not done on that Sunday afternoon, nor on the +Monday, nor on the Tuesday. The question was closely debated, and at +last the anxious mother perceived that the giving of the invitation +would be more safe than withholding it. Captain Aylmer at last +expressed his determination to go to Belton unless the invitation were +given; and then, should he do that, there might be danger that he would +never be again seen at Aylmer Park till he brought Clara Amedroz with +him as his wife. The position was one of great difficulty, but the +interests at stake were so immense that something must be risked. It +might be that Clara would not come when invited, and in that case her +obstinacy would be a great point gained. And if she came ! Well; Lady +Aylmer admitted to herself that the game would be difficult difficult +and very troublesome; but yet it might be played, and perhaps won. Lady +Aylmer was a woman who had great confidence in herself. Not so utterly +had victory in such contests deserted her hands, that she need fear to +break a lance with Miss Amedroz beneath her own roof, when the occasion +was so pressing. + +The invitation was therefore sent in a note written by herself, and was +enclosed in a letter from her son. After much consultation and many +doubts on the subject, it was at last agreed that nothing further +should now be urged about Mrs Askerton. 'She shall have her chance,' +said Lady Aylmer over and over again, repeating her son's words. 'She +shall have her chance.' Lady Aylmer, therefore, in her note, confined +herself strictly to the giving of the invitation, and to a suggestion +that, as Clara had now no settled home of her own, a temporary sojourn +at Aylmer Park might be expedient. And Captain Aylmer in his letter +hardly said much more. He knew, as he wrote the words, that they were +cold and comfortless, and that he ought on such an occasion to have +written words that should have been warm at any rate, even though they +might not have contained comfort. But, to have written with affection, +he should have written at once, and he had postponed his letter from +the Sunday till the Wednesday. It had been absolutely necessary that +that important question as to the invitation should be answered before +he could write at all. + +When all this was settled he went up to London; and there was an +understanding between him and his mother that he should return to +Aylmer Park with Clara, in the event of her acceptance of the +invitation. + +'You won't go down to Belton for her?' said the mother. + +'No I do not think that will be necessary,' said the son. + +'I should think not,' said the mother. + + +CHAPTER XX + +WILLIAM BELTON DOES NOT GO OUT HUNTING + +WE will now follow the other message which was sent down into Norfolk, +and which did not get into Belton's hands till the Monday morning. He +was sitting with his sister at breakfast, and was prepared for hunting, +when the paper was brought into the room. Telegraphic messages were not +very common at Plaistow Hall, and on the arrival of any that had as yet +reached that house, something of that awe had been felt with which such +missives were always accompanied in their earliest days. 'A telegruff +message, mum, for Mr William,' said the maid, looking at her mistress +with eyes opened wide, as she handed the important bit of paper to her +master. Will opened it rapidly, laying down the knife and fork with +which he was about to operate upon a ham before him. He was dressed in +boots and breeches, and a scarlet coat in which garb he was, in his +sister's eyes, the most handsome man in Norfolk. + +'Oh, Mary!' he exclaimed. + +'What is it, Will?' + +'Mr Amedroz is dead.' + +Miss Belton put out her hand for the paper before she spoke again, as +though she could better appreciate the truth of what she heard when +reading it herself on the telegraph slip than she had done from her +brother's words. 'How sudden! how terribly sudden!' she said. + +'Sudden indeed. When I left him he was not well, certainly, but I +should have said that he might have lived for twenty years. Poor old +man! I can hardly say why it was so, but I had taken a liking to him.' + +'You take a liking to everybody, Will.' + +'No I don't. I know people I don't like.' Will Belton as he said this +was thinking of Captain Aylmer, and he pressed the heel of his boot +hard against the floor. + +'And Mr Amedroz is dead! It seems to be so terribly sudden. What will +she do, Will?' + +'That's what I'm thinking about.' + +'Of course you are, my dear. I can see that. I wish I wish' + +'It's no good wishing anything, Mary. I don't think wishing ever did +any good yet. If I might have my wish, I shouldn't know how to have it.' + +'I was wishing that you didn't think so much about it.' + +'You need not be troubled about me. I shall do very well. But what is +to become of her now at once? Might she not come here? You are now the +nearest female relation that she has.' + +Mary looked at him with her anxious, painful eyes, and he knew by her +look that she did not approve of his plan. 'I could go away,' he +continued. 'She could come to you without being troubled by seeing me.' + +'And where would you go, Will?' + +'What does it matter? To the devil, I suppose.' + +'Oh, Will, Will!' + +'You know what I mean. I'd go anywhere. Where is she to find a home +till till she is married?' He had paused at the word; but was +determined not to shrink from it, and bolted it out in a loud, sharp +tone so that both he and she recognized all the meaning of the word all +that was conveyed in the idea. He hated himself when he endeavoured to +conceal from his own mind any of the misery that was coming upon him. +He loved her. He could not get over it. The passion was on him like a +palsy, for the shaking off of which no sufficient physical energy was +left to him. It clung to him in his goings out and comings in with a +painful, wearing tenacity, against which he would now and again +struggle, swearing that it should be so no longer but against which he +always struggled in vain. It was with him when he was hunting. He was +ever thinking of it when the bird rose before his gun. As he watched +the furrow, as his men and horses would drive it straight and deep +through the ground, he was thinking of her and not of the straightness +and depth of the furrow, as had been his wont in former years. Then he +would turn away his f toe, and stand alone in his field, blinded by the +salt drops in his eyes, weeping at his own weakness. And when he was +quite alone, he would stamp his foot on the ground, and throw abroad +his arms, and curse himself. What Nessus's shirt was this that had +fallen upon him, and unmanned him from the sole of his foot to the top +of his head? He went through the occupations of the week. He hunted, +and shot, and gave his orders, and paid his men their wages but he did +it all with a palsy of love upon him as he did it. He wanted her, and +he could not overcome the want. He could not bear to confess to himself +that the thing by which he had set so much store could never belong to +him. His sister understood it all, and sometimes he was almost angry +with her because of her understanding it. She sympathized with him in +all his moods, and sometimes he would shake away her sympathy as though +it scalded him. 'Where is she to find a home till till she is married?' +he said. + +Not a word had as yet been said between them about the property which +was now his estate. He was now Belton of Belton, and it must be +supposed that both he and she had remembered that it was so. But +hitherto not a word had been said between them on that point. Now she +was compelled to allude to it. 'Cannot she live at the Castle for the +present? + +'What all alone?' + +'Of course she is remaining there now.' + +'Yes,' said he, 'of course she is there now. Now! Why, remember what +these telegraphic messages are. He died only on yesterday morning. Of +course she is there, but I do not think it can be good that she should +remain there. There is no one near her where she is but that Mrs +Askerton. It can hardly be good for her to have no other female friend +at such a time as this.' + +'I do not think that Mrs Askerton will hurt her.' + +'Mrs Askerton will not hurt her at all and as long as Clara does not +know the story, Mrs Askerton may serve as well as another. But yet' + +'Can I go to her, Will?' + +'No, dearest. The journey would kill you in winter. And he would not +like it. We are bound to think of that for her sake cold-hearted, +thankless, meagre-minded creature as I know he is.' + +'I do not know why he should be so bad.' + +'No, nor I. But I know that he is. Never mind. Why should we talk about +him? I suppose she'll have to go there to Aylmer Park. I suppose they +will send for her, and keep her there till it's all finished. I'll tell +you what, Mary I shall give her the place.' + +'What Belton Castle?' + +'Why not? Will it ever be of any good to you or me? Do you want to go +and live there?' + +'No, indeed not for myself.' + +'And do you think that I could live there? Besides why should she be +turned out of her father's house? + +'He would not be mean enough to take it.' + +'He would be mean enough for anything. Besides, I should take very good +care that it should be settled upon her.' + +'That's nonsense, Will it is indeed. You are now William Belton of +Belton, and you must remain so.' + +'Mary I would sooner be Will Belton with Clara Amedroz by my side to +get through the world with me, and not the interest of an acre either +at Belton Castle or at Plaistow Hall! And I believe I should be the +richer man at the end if there were any good in that.' Then he went out +of the room, and she heard him go through the kitchen, and knew that he +passed out into the farm-yard, towards the stable, by the back-door. He +intended, it seemed, to go on with his hunting in spite of this death +which had occurred. She was sorry for it, but she could not venture to +stop him. And she was sorry also that nothing had been settled as to +the writing of any letter to Clara. She, however, would take upon +herself to write while he was gone. + +He went straight out towards the stables, hardly conscious of what he +was doing or where he was going, and found his hack ready saddled for +him in the stall. Then he remembered that he must either go or come to +some decision that he would not go. The horse that he intended to ride +had been sent on to the meet, and if he were not to be used, some +message must be dispatched as to the animal's return. But Will was half +inclined to go, although he knew that the world would judge him to be +heartless if he were to go hunting immediately on the receipt of the +tidings which had reached him that morning. He thought that he would +like to set the world at defiance in this matter. Let Frederic Aylmer +go into mourning for the old man who was dead. Let Frederic Aylmer be +solicitous for the daughter who was left lonely in the old house. No +doubt. he, Will Belton, had inherited the dead man's estate, and +should, therefore, in accordance with all the ordinary rules of the +world on such matters, submit himself at any rate to the decency of +funereal reserve. An heir should not be seen out hunting on the day on +which such tidings as to his heritage had reached him. But he did not +wish, in his present mood, to be recognized as the heir. He did not +want the property. He would have preferred to rid himself altogether of +any of the obligations which the ownership of the estate entailed upon +him. It was not permitted to him to have the custody of the old +squire's daughter, and therefore he was unwilling to meddle with any of +the old squire's concerns. + +Belton had gone into the stable, and had himself loosed the animal, +leading him out into the yard as though he were about to mount him. +Then he had given the reins to a stable boy, and had walked away among +the farm buildings, not thinking of what he was doing. The lad stood +staring at him with open mouth, not at all understanding his master's +hesitation. The meet, as the boy knew, was fourteen miles off, and +Belton had not allowed himself above an hour and a half for the +journey. It was his practice to jump into the saddle and bustle out of +the place, as though seconds were important to him. He would look at +his watch with accuracy, and measure his pace from spot to spot, as +though minutes were too valuable to be lost. But now he wandered away +like one distraught, and the stable boy knew that something was wrong. +'I thout he was a thinken of the white cow as choked 'erself with the +tunnup that was skipped in the chopping,' said the boy, as he spoke of +his master afterwards to the old groom. At last, however, a thought +seemed to strike Belton. 'Do you get on Brag,' he said to the boy, 'and +ride off to Goldingham Corner, and tell Daniel to bring the horse home +again. I shan't hunt today. And I think I shall go away from home. If +so, tell him to be sure the horses are out every morning and tell him +to stop their beans. I mightn't hunt again for the next month.' Then he +returned into the house, and went to the parlour in which his sister +was sitting. 'I shan't go out today,' he said. + +'I thought you would not, Will,' she answered. + +'Not that I see any harm in it.' + +'I don't say that there is any harm, but it is as well on such +occasions to do as others do.' + +'That's humbug, Mary.' + +'No, Will; I do not think that. When any practice has become the fixed +rule of the society in which we live, it is always wise to adhere to +that rule, unless it call upon us to do something that is actually +wrong. One should not offend the prejudices of the world, even if one +is quite sure that they are prejudices.' + +'It hasn't been that that has brought me back, Mary. I'll tell you +what. I think I'll go down to Belton after all.' + +His sister did not know what to say in answer to this. Her chief +anxiety was, of course, on behalf of her brother. That he should be +made to forget Clara Amedroz, if that were only possible, was her great +desire; and his journey at such a time as this down to Belton was not +the way to accomplish such forgetting. And then she felt that Clara +might very possibly not wish to see him. Had Will simply been her +cousin, such a visit might be very well; but he had attempted to be +more than her cousin, and therefore it would probably not be well. +Captain Aylmer might not like it; and Mary felt herself bound to +consider even Captain Aylmer's likings in such a matter. And yet she +could not bear to oppose him in anything. 'It would be a very long +journey,' she said. + +'What does that signify?' + +'And then it might so probably be for nothing.' + +'Why should it be for nothing?' + +'Because ' + +'Because what? Why don't you speak out? You need not be afraid of +hurting me. Nothing that you can say can make it at all worse than it +is.' + +'Dear Will, I wish I could make it better.' + +'But you can't. Nobody can make it either better or worse. I promised +her once before that I would go to her when she might be in trouble, +and I will be as good as my word. I said I would be a brother to her +and so I will. So help me God, I will!' Then he rushed out of the room, +striding through the door as though he would knock it down, and hurried +up. stairs to his own chamber. When there he stripped himself of his +hunting things, and dressed himself again with all the expedition in +his power; and then he threw a heap of clothes into a large +portmanteau, and set himself to work packing as though everything in +the world were to depend upon his catching a certain train. And he went +to a locked drawer, and taking out a cheque-book, folded it up and put +it into his pocket. Then he rang the bell violently; and as he was +locking the portmanteau, pressing down the lid with all his weight and +all his strength, he ordered that a certain mare should be put into a +certain dog-cart and that somebody might be ready to drive over with +him to the Downham Station. Within twenty minutes of the time of his +rushing upstairs he appeared again before his sister with a greatcoat +on, and a railway rug hanging over his arm. 'Do you mean that you are +going today?' said she. + +'Yes. I'll catch the 11.40 up-train at Downham. What's the good of +going unless I go at once? If I can be of any use it will be at the +first. It may be that she will have nobody there to do anything for +her.' + +'There is the clergyman, and Colonel Askerton even if Captain Aylmer +has not gone down.' + +'The clergyman and Colonel Askerton are nothing to her. And if that man +is there I can come back again.' + +'You will not quarrel with him?' + +'Why should I quarrel with him? What is there to quarrel about? I'm not +such a fool as to quarrel with a man because I hate him. If he is there +I shall see her for a minute or two, and then I shall come back.' + +'I know it is no good my trying to dissuade you.' + +'None on earth. If you knew it all you would not try to dissuade me. +Before I thought of asking her to be my wife and yet I thought of that +very soon but before I ever thought of that, I told her that when she +wanted a brother's help I would give it her. Of course I was thinking +of the property that she shouldn't be turned out of her father's house +like a beggar. I hadn't any settled plan then how could I? But I meant +her to understand that when her father died I would be the same to her +that I am to you. If you were alone, in distress, would I not go to +you?' + +'But I have no one else, Will,' said she, stretching out her hand to +him where he stood. + +'That makes no difference,' he replied, almost roughly. A promise is a +promise, and I resolved from the first that my promise should hold good +in spite of my disappointment. Dear, dear it seems but the other day +when I made it and now, already, everything is changed.' As he was +speaking the servant entered the room, and told him that the horse and +gig were ready for him. 'I shall just do it nicely,' said he, looking +at his watch. 'I have over an hour. God bless you, Mary. I shan't be +away long. You may be sure of that.' + +'I don't suppose you can tell as yet, Will.' + +'What should keep me long? I shall see Green as I go by, and that is +half of my errand. I dare say I shan't stay above a night down in +Somersetshire.' + +'You'll have to give some orders about the estate.' + +'I shall not say a word on the subject to anybody; that is, not to +anybody there. I am going to look after her, and not the estate.' Then +he stooped down and kissed his sister, and in another minute was +turning the corner out of the farm-yard on to the road at a quick pace, +not losing a foot of ground in the turn, in that fashion of rapidity +which the horses at Plaistow Hall soon learned from their master. The +horse is a closely sympathetic beast, and will make his turns, and do +his trottings, and comport himself generally in strict unison with the +pulsation of his master's heart. When a horse won't jump it is +generally the case that the inner man is declining to jump also, let +the outer man seem ever so anxious to accomplish the feat. + +Belton, who was generally very communicative with his servants, always +talking to any man he might have beside him in his dog-cart about the +fields and cattle and tillage around him, said not a word to the boy +who accompanied him on this occasion. He had a good many things to +settle in his mind before he got to London, and he began upon the work +as soon as he had turned the corner out of the farm-yard. As regarded +this Belton estate, which was now altogether his own, he had always bad +doubts and qualms qualms of feeling rather than of conscience; and he +had, also, always entertained a strong family ambition. His people, +ever so far back, had been Beltons of Belton. They told him that his +family could be traced back to very early days before the Plantagenets, +as he believed, though on this point of the subject he was very hazy in +his information and he liked the idea of being the man by whom the +family should be reconstructed in its glory. Worldly circumstances had +been so kind to him, that he could take up the Belton estate with more +of the prestige of wealth than had belonged to any of the owners of the +place for many years past. Should it come to pass that living there +would be desirable, he could rebuild the old house, and make new +gardens, and fit himself out with all the pleasant braveries of a +well-to-do English squire. There need be no pinching and scraping, no +question whether a carriage would be possible, no doubt as to the +prudence of preserving game. All this had given much that was +delightful to his prospects. And he had, too, been instigated by a +somewhat weak desire to emerge from that farmer's rank into which he +knew that many connected with him had supposed him to have sunk. It was +true that he farmed land that was half his own and that, even at +Plaistow, he was a wealthy man; but Plaistow Hall, with all its +comforts, was a farm-house; and the ambition to be more than a farmer +had been strong upon him. + +But then there had been the feeling that in taking the Belton estate he +would be robbing his Cousin Clara of all that should have been hers. It +must be remembered that he had not been brought up in the belief that +he would ever become the owner of Belton. All his high ambition in that +matter had originated with the wretched death of Clara's brother. Could +he bring himself to take it all with pleasure, seeing that it came to +him by so sad a chance by a catastrophe so deplorable? When he would +think of this, his mind would revolt from its own desires, and he would +declare to himself that his inheritance would come to him with a stain +of blood upon it. He, indeed, would have been guiltless; but how could +he take his pleasure in the shades of Belton without thinking of the +tragedy which had given him the property? Such had been the thoughts +and desires, mixed in their nature and militating against each other, +which had induced him to offer his first visit to his cousin's house. +We know what was the effect of that visit, and by what pleasant scheme +he had endeavoured to overcome all his difficulties, and so to become +master of Belton that Clara Amedroz should also be its mistress. There +had been a way which, after two days' intimacy with Clara, seemed to +promise him comfort and happiness on all sides. But he had come too +late, and that way was closed against him! Now the estate was his, and +what was he to do with it? Clara belonged to his rival, and in what way +would it become him to treat her? He was still thinking simply of the +cruelty of the circumstances which had thrown Captain Aylmer between +him and his cousin, when he drove himself up to the railway station at +Downham. + +'Take her back steady, Jem,' he said to the boy. + +'I'll be sure to take her wery steady,' Jem answered, 'and tell Compton +to have the samples of barley ready for me. I may be back any day, and +we shall be sowing early this spring.' + +Then he left his cart, followed the porter who had taken his luggage +eagerly, knowing that Mr Belton was always good for sixpence, and in +five minutes' time he was again in motion. + +On his arrival in London he drove at once to the chambers of his +friend, Mr Green, and luckily found the lawyer there. Had he missed +doing this, it was his intention to go out to his friend's house; and +in that case he could not have gone down to Taunton till the next +morning; but now he would be able to say what he wished to say, and +hear what he wished to hear, and would travel down by the night- mail +train. He was anxious that Clara should feel that he had hurried to her +without a moment's delay. It would do no good. He knew that. Nothing +that he could do would alter her, or be of any service to him. She had +accepted this man, and had herself no power of making a change, even if +she should wish it. But still there was to him something of +gratification in the idea that she should be made to feel that he, +Belton, was more instant in his affection, more urgent in his good +offices, more anxious to befriend her in her difficulties, than the man +whom she had consented to take for her husband. Aylmer would probably +go down to Belton, but Will was very anxious to be the first on the +ground very anxious though his doing so could be of no use. All this +was wrong on his part. He knew that it was wrong, and he abused himself +for his own selfishness. But such self-abuse gave him no aid in +escaping from his own wickedness. He would, if possible, be at Belton +before Captain Aylmer; and he would, if possible, make Clara feel that, +though he was not a Member of Parliament, though he was not much given +to books, though he was only a farmer, yet he had at any rate as much +heart and spirit as the fine gentleman whom she preferred to him. + +'I thought I should see you,' said the lawyer; 'but I hardly expected +you so soon as this.' + +'I ought to have been a day sooner, only we don't get our telegraphic +messages on a Sunday.' + +He still kept his greatcoat on; and it seemed by his manner that he had +no intention of staying where he was above a minute or two. + +'You'll come out and dine with me today?' said Mr Green. + +'I can't do that, for I shall go down by the mail train.' + +'I never saw such a fellow in my life. What good will that do? It is +quite right that you should be there in time for the funeral; but I +don't suppose he will he buried before this day week.' + +But Belton had never thought about the funeral. When he had spoken to +his sister of saying but a few words to Clara and then returning, he +had forgotten that there would be any such ceremony, or that he would +be delayed by any such necessity. + +'I was not thinking about the funeral,' said Belton. 'You'll only find +yourself uncomfortable there.' + +'Of course I shall be uncomfortable.' + +'You can't do anything about the property, you know.' + +'What do you mean by doing anything?' said Belton, in an angry tone. + +'You can't very well take possession of the place, at any rate, till +after the funeral. It would not be considered the proper thing to do.' + +'You think, then, that I'm a bird of prey, smelling the feast from afar +off, and hurrying at the dead man's carcase as soon as the breath is +out of his body?' + +'I don't think anything of the kind, my dear fellow.' + +'Yes, you do, or you wouldn't talk to me about doing the proper thing! +I don't care a straw about the proper thing! If I find that there's +anything to be done tomorrow that can be of any use, I shall do it, +though all Somersetshire should think it improper! But I'm not going to +look after my own interests!' + +'Take off your coat and sit down, Will, and don't look angry at me. I +know that you're not greedy, well enough. Tell me what you are going to +do, and let me see if I can help you.' + +Belton did as he was told; he pulled off his coat and sat himself down +by the fire. 'I don't know that you can do anything to help me at +least, not as yet. But I must go and see after her. Perhaps she may be +all alone.' + +'I suppose she is all alone.' + +'He hasn't gone down, then?' + +'Who Captain Aylmer? No he hasn't gone down, certainly. He is in +Yorkshire.' + +'I'm glad of that!' + +'He won't hurry himself. He never does, I fancy. I had a letter from +him this morning about Miss Amedroz.' + +'And what did he say?' + +'He desired me to send her seventy-five pounds the interest of her +aunt's money.' + +'Seventy-five pounds!' said Will Belton, contemptuously. + +'He thought she might want money at once; and I sent her the cheque +today. It will go down by the same train that carries you.' + +'Seventy-five pounds! And you are sure that he has not gone himself?' + +'It isn't likely that he should have written to me, and passed through +London himself, at the same time but it is possible, no doubt. I don't +think he even knew the old squire; and there is no reason why he should +go to the funeral.' + +'No reason at all,' said Belton who felt that Captain Aylmer's presence +at the Castle would be an insult to himself. 'I don't know what on +earth he should do there except that I think him just the fellow to +intrude where he is not wanted.' And yet Will was in his heart +despising Captain Aylmer because he had not already hurried down to the +assistance of the girl whom he professed to love. + +'He is engaged to her, you know,' said the lawyer, in a low voice. + +'What difference does that make with such a fellow as he is a +cold-blooded fish of a man, who thinks of nothing in the world but +being respectable? Engaged to her! Oh, damn him!' + +'I've not the slightest objection. I don't think, however, that you'll +find him at Belton before you. No doubt she will have heard from him; +and it strikes me as very possible that she may go to Aylmer Park.' + +'What should she go there for?' + +'Would it not be the best place for her?' + +'No. My house would be the best place for her. I am her nearest +relative. Why should she not come to us?' + +Mr Green turned round his chair and poked the fire, and fidgeted about +for some moments before he answered. 'My dear fellow, you must know +that that wouldn't do.' He then said, 'You ought to feel that it +wouldn't do you ought indeed.' + +'Why shouldn't my sister receive Miss Amedroz as well as that old woman +down in Yorkshire?' + +'If I may tell you, I will.' + +'Of course you may tell me.' + +'Because Miss Amedroz is engaged to be married to that old woman's son, +and is not engaged to be married to your sister's brother. The thing is +done, and what is the good of interfering? As far as she is concerned, +a great burden is off your hands.' + +'What do you mean by a burden?' + +'I mean that her engagement to Captain Aylmer makes it unnecessary for +you to suppose that she is in want of any pecuniary assistance. You +told me once before that you would feel yourself called upon to see +that she wanted nothing.' + +'So I do now.' + +'But Captain Aylmer will look after that.' + +'I tell you what it is, Joe; I mean to settle the Belton property in +such a way that she shall have it, and that he shan't be able to touch +it. And it shall go to some one who shall have my name William Belton. +That's what I want you to arrange for me.' + +'After you are dead, you mean.' + +'I mean now, at once. I won't take the estate from her. I hate the +place and everything belonging to it. I don't mean her. There is no +reason for hating her.' + +'My dear Will, you are talking nonsense.' + +'Why is it nonsense? I may give what belongs to me to whom I please.' + +'You can do nothing of the kind at any rate, not by my assistance. You +talk as though the world were all over with you as though you were +never to be married or have any children of your own.' + +'I shall never marry.' + +'Nonsense, Will. Don't make such an ass of yourself as to suppose that +you'll not get over such a thing as this. You'll be married and have a +dozen children yet to provide for. Let the eldest have Belton Castle, +and everything will go on then in the proper way.' + +Belton had now got the poker into his hands, and sat silent for some +time, knocking the coals about. Then he got up, and took his hat, and +put on his coat. Of course I can't make you understand me,' he said; at +any rate not all at once. I'm not such a fool as to want to give up my +property just because a girl is going to be married to a man I don't +like. I'm not such an ass as to give him my estate for such a reason as +that for it will be giving it to him, let me tie it up as I may. But +I've a feeling about it which makes it impossible for me to take it. +How would you like to get a thing by another fellow having destroyed +himself + +'You can't help that. It's yours by law.' + +'Of course it is. I know that. And as it's mine I can do what I like +with it. Well good-bye. When I've got anything to say, I'll write.' +Then he went down to his cab and had himself driven to the Great +Western Railway Hotel. + +Captain Aylmer had sent to his betrothed seventy. five pounds; the +exact interest at five per cent, for one year of the sum which his aunt +had left her. This was the first subject of which Belton thought when +he found himself again in the railway carriage, and he continued +thinking of it half the way down to Taunton. Seventy-five pounds! As +though this favoured lover were prepared to give her exactly her due, +and nothing more than her due! Had he been so placed, he, Will Belton, +what would he have done? Seventy-five pounds might have been more money +than she would have wanted, for he would have taken her to his own +house to his own bosom as soon as she would have permitted, and would +have so laboured on her behalf, taking from her shoulders all money +troubles, that there would have been no question as to principal or +interest between them. At any rate be would not have confined himself +to sending to her the exact sum which was her due. But then Aylmer was +a cold-blooded man more like a fish than a man. Belton told himself +over and over again that he had discovered that at the single glance +which he had had when he saw Captain Aylmer in Green's chambers. +Seventy-five pounds indeed! He himself was prepared to give his whole +estate to her, if she would take it even though she would not marry +him, even though she was going to throw herself away upon that fish! +Then he felt somewhat as Hamlet did when he jumped upon Laertes at the +grave of Ophelia. Send her seventy-five pounds indeed, while he was +ready to drink up Esil for her, or to make over to her the whole Belton +estate, and thus abandon the idea for ever of being Belton of Belton! + +He reached Taunton in the middle of the night during the small hours of +the morning in a winter night; but yet he could not bring himself to go +to bed. So he knocked up an ostler at the nearest inn, and ordered out +a gig. He would go down to the village of Redicote, on the Minehead +road, and put up at the public-house there. He could not now have +himself driven at once to Belton Castle, as he would have done had the +old squire been alive. He fancied that his presence would be a nuisance +if he did so. So he went to the little inn at Redicote, reaching that +place between four and five o'clock in the morning; and very +uncomfortable he was when he got there. But in his present frame of +mind he preferred discomfort. He liked being tired and cold, and felt, +when he was put into a chill room, without fire, and with a sanded +floor, that things with him were as they ought to be. + +Yes he could have a fly over to Belton Castle after breakfast. Having +learned so much, and ordered a dish of eggs and bacon for his morning's +breakfast, be went upstairs to a miserable little bedroom, to dress +himself after his night's journey. + + +CHAPTER XXI + +MRS ASKERTON'S GENEROSITY + +The death of the old man at Belton Castle had been very sudden. At +three o'clock in the morning Clara had been called into his room, and +at five o'clock she was alone in the world having neither father, +mother, nor brother; without a home, without a shilling that she could +call her own with no hope as to her future life, if as she had so much +reason to suppose Captain Aylmer should have chosen to accept her last +letter as a ground for permanent separation. But at this moment, on +this saddest morning, she did not care much for that chance. It seemed +to be almost indifferent to her, that question of Lady Aylmer and her +anger. The more that she was absolutely in need of external friendship, +the more disposed was she to reject it, and to declare to herself that +she was prepared to stand alone in the world. + +For the last week she had understood from the doctor that her father +was in truth sinking, and that she might hardly hope ever to see him +again convalescent. She had therefore in some sort prepared herself for +her loneliness, and anticipated the misery of her position. As soon as +it was known to the women in the room that life had left the old man, +one of them had taken her by the hand and led her back to her own +chamber. 'Now, Miss Clara, you had better lie down on the bed again you +had indeed; you can do nothing sitting up.' She took the old woman's +advice, and allowed them to do with her as they would. It was true that +there was no longer any work by which she could make herself useful in +that house in that house, or, as far as she could see, in any other. +Yes; she would go to bed, and lying there would feel how convenient it +would be for many persons if she also could be taken away to her long +rest, as her father, and aunt, and brother had been taken before her. + +Her name and family had been unfortunate, and it would be well that +there should be no Amedroz left to trouble those more fortunate persons +who were to come after them. In her sorrow and bitterness she included +both her Cousin Will and Captain Aylmer among those more fortunate ones +for whose sake it might be well that she should be made to vanish from +off the earth. She had read Captain Aylmer's letter over and over again +since she had answered it, and had read nearly as often the copy of her +own reply and had told herself, as she read them, that of course he +would not forgive her. He might perhaps pardon her, if she would submit +to him in everything; but that she would not submit to his commands +respecting Mrs Askerton she was fully resolved and, therefore, there +could be no hope. Then, when she remembered how lately her dear +father's spirit had fled, she hated herself for having allowed her mind +to dwell on any. thing beyond her loss of him. + +She was still in her bedroom, having fallen into that half-waking +slumber which the numbness of sorrow so often produces, when word was +brought to her that Mrs Askerton was in the house. It was the first +time that Mrs Askerton had ever crossed the door, and the remembrance +that it was so came upon her at once. During her father's lifetime it +had seemed to be understood that their neighbour should have no +admittance there but now now that her father was gone the barrier was +to be overthrown. And why not? Why should not Mrs Askerton come to her? +Why, if Mrs Askerton chose to be kind to her, should she not altogether +throw herself into her friend's arms? Of course her doing so would give +mortal offence to everybody at Aylmer Park; but why need she stop to +think of that? She had already made up her mind that she would not obey +orders from Aylmer Park on this subject. + +She had not seen Mrs Askerton since that interview between them which +was described some few chapters back. Then everything had been told +between them, so that there was no longer any mystery either on the one +side or on the other. Then Clara had assured her friend of her loving +friendship in spite of any edicts to the contrary which might come from +Aylmer Park; and after that what could be more natural than that Mrs +Askerton should come to her in her sorrow? 'She says she'll come up to +you if you'll let her,' said the servant. But Clara declined this +proposition, and in a few minutes went down to the small parlour in +which she had lately lived, and where she found her visitor. + +'My poor dear, this has been very sudden,' said Mrs Askerton. + +'Very sudden very sudden. And yet, now that he has gone, I know that I +expected it.' + +'Of course I came to you as soon as I heard of it, because I knew you +were all alone. If there had been any one else I should not have come.' + +'It is very good of you.' + +'Colonel Askerton thought that perhaps he had better come. I told him +of all that which we said to each other the other day. He thought at +first that it would be better that I should not see you.' + +'It was very good of you to come,' said Clara again, and as she spoke +she put out her hand and took Mrs Askerton's continuing to hold it for +awhile; 'very good indeed.' + +'I told him that I could not but go down to you that I thought you +would not understand it if I stayed away.' + +'At any rate it was good of you to come to me.' + +'I don't believe,' said Mrs Askerton, 'that what people call +consolation is ever of any use. It is a terrible thing to lose a +father.' + +'Very terrible. Ah, dear, I have hardly yet found out how sad it is. As +yet I have only been thinking of myself, and wishing that I could be +with him.' + +'Nay, Clara.' + +'How can I help it? What am I to do? Or where am I to go? Of what use +is life to such a one as me? And for him who would dare to wish him +back again? When people have fallen and gone down in the world, it is +bad for them to go on living. Everything is a trouble, and there is +nothing but vexation.' + +'Think what I have suffered, dear.' + +'But you have had somebody to care for you somebody whom you could +trust.' + +'And have not you?' + +'No; no one.' + +'What do you mean, Clara?' + +'I mean what I say. I have no one. It is no use asking questions not +now, at such a time as this. And I did not mean to complain. +Complaining is weak and foolish. I have often told myself that I could +bear anything, and so I will. When I can bring myself to think of what +I have lost in my father I shall be better, even though I shall be more +sorrowful. As it is, I hate myself for being so selfish.' + +'You will let me come and stay with you today, will you not?' + +'No, dear; not today.' + +'Why not today, Clara?' + +'I shall be better alone. I have so many things to think of.' + +'I know well that it would be better that you should not be alone much +better. But I will not press it. I cannot insist with you as another +woman would.' + +'You are wrong there; quite wrong. I would be led by you sooner than by +any woman living. What other woman is there to whom I would listen for +a moment?' As she said this, even in the depth of her sorrow she +thought of Lady Aylmer, and strengthened herself in her resolution to +rebel against her lover's mother. Then she continued, 'I wish I knew my +Cousin Mary Mary Bolton; but I have never seen her.' + +'Is she nice? + +'So Will tells me; and I know that what he says must be true even about +his sister.' + +'Will, Will! You are always thinking of your Cousin Will. If he be +really so good he will show it now.' + +'How can he show it? What can he do?' + +'Does he not inherit all the property?' + +'Of course he does. And what of that? When I say that I have no friend +I am not thinking of my poverty.' + +'If he has that regard for you which he pretends, he can do much to +assist you. Why should he not come here at once?' + +'God forbid.' + +'Why? Why do you say so? He is your nearest relative.' + +'If you do not understand I cannot explain.' + +'Has he been told what has happened?' Mrs Askerton asked. + +'Colonel Askerton sent a message to him, I believe.' + +'And to Captain Aylmer also?' + +'Yes; and to Captain Aylmer. It was Colonel Askerton who sent it.' + +'Then he will come, of course.' + +'I think not. Why should he come? He did not even know poor papa.' + +'But, my dear Clara, has he not known you?' + +'You will see that he will not come. And I tell you beforehand that he +will be right to stay away. Indeed, I do not know how he could come and +I do not want him here.' + +'I cannot understand you, Clara.' + +'I suppose not. I cannot very well understand myself.' + +'I should not be at all surprised if Lady Aylmer were to come herself.' + +'Oh, heavens! How little you can know of Lady Aylmer's position and +character!' + +'But if she is to be your mother-in-law?' + +'And even if she were! The idea of Lady Aylmer coming away from Aylmer +Park all the way from Yorkshire, to such a house as this! If they told +me that the Queen was coming it would hardly disconcert me more. But, +dear, there is no danger of that at least.' + +'I do not know what may have passed between you and him; but unless +there has been some quarrel he will come. That is, he will do so if he +is at all like any men whom I have known.' + +'He will not come.' + +Then Mrs Askerton made some half-whispered offers of services to be +rendered by Colonel Askerton, and soon afterwards took her leave, +having first asked permission to come again in the afternoon, and when +that was declined, having promised to return on the following morning. +As she walked back to the cottage she could not but think more of +Clara's engagement to Captain Aylmer than she did of the squire's +death. As regarded herself, of course she could not grieve for Mr +Amedroz; and as regarded Clara, Clara's father had for some time past +been apparently so insignificant, even in his own house, that it was +difficult to acknowledge the fact that the death of such a one as he +might leave a great blank in the world. But what had Clara meant by +declaring so emphatically that Captain Aylmer would not visit Belton, +and by speaking of herself as one who had neither position nor friends +in the world? If there had been a quarrel, indeed, then it was +sufficiently intelligible and if there was any such quarrel, from what +source must it have arisen? Mrs Askerton felt the blood rise to her +cheeks as she thought of this, and told herself that there could be but +one such source. Mrs Askerton knew that Clara had received orders from +Aylmer Castle to discontinue all acquaintance with herself, and, +therefore, there could be no doubt as to the cause of the quarrel. It +had come to this then, that Clara was to lose her husband because she +was true to her friend; or rather because she would not consent to cast +an additional stone at one who for some years past had become a mark +for many stones. + +I am not prepared to say that Mrs Askerton was a high-minded woman. +Misfortunes had come upon her in life of a sort which are too apt to +quench high nobility of mind in woman. There are calamities which, by +their natural tendencies, elevate the character of women and add +strength to the growth of feminine virtues but then, again, there are +other calamities which few women can bear without some degradation, +without some injury to that delicacy and tenderness which is +essentially necessary to make a woman charming as a woman. In this, I +think, the world is harder to women than to men; that a woman often +loses much by the chance of adverse circumstances which a man only +loses by his own misconduct. That there are women whom no calamity can +degrade is true enough and so it is true that there are some men who +are heroes; but such are exceptions both among men and women. Not such +a one had Mrs Askerton been. Calamity had come upon her partly, indeed, +by her own fault, though that might have been pardoned but the weight +of her misfortunes had been too great for her strength, and she had +become in some degree hardened by what she had endured; if not +unfeminine, still she was feminine in an inferior degree, with womanly +feelings of a lower order. And she had learned to intrigue, not being +desirous of gaining aught by dishonest intriguing, but believing that +she could only hold her own by carrying on her battle after that +fashion. In all this I am speaking of the general character of the +woman, and am not alluding to the one sin which she had committed. +Thus, when she had first become acquainted with Miss Amedroz, her +conscience had not rebuked her in that she was deceiving her new +friend. When asked casually in conversation as to her maiden name, she +had not blushed as she answered the question with a falsehood. When, +unfortunately, the name of her first husband had in some way made +itself known to Clara, she had been ready again with some prepared fib. +And when she had recognized William Belton, she had thought that the +danger to herself of having any one near her who might know her quite +justified her in endeavouring to create ill-will between Clara and her +cousin. 'Self-preservation is the first law of nature,' she would have +said; and would have failed to remember, as she did always fail to +remember that nature does not require by any of its laws that +self-preservation should be aided by falsehood. + +But though she was not high-minded, so also was she not ungenerous; and +now, as she began to understand that Clara was sacrificing herself +because of that promise which had been given when they two had stood +together at the window in the cottage drawing-room, she was capable of +feeling more for her friend than for herself. She was capable even of +telling herself that it was cruel on her part even to wish for any +continuance of Clara's acquaintance. 'I have made my bed, and I must +lie upon it,' she said to herself; and then she resolved that, instead +of going up to the house on the following day, she would write to +Clara, and put an end to the intimacy which existed between them. 'The +world is hard, and harsh, and unjust,' she said, still speaking to +herself. 'But that is not her fault; I will not injure her because I +have been injured myself.' + +Colonel Askerton was up at the house on the same day, but he did not +ask for Miss Amedroz, nor did she see him. Nobody else came to the +house then, or on the following morning, or on that afternoon, though +Clara did not fail to tell herself that Captain Aylmer might have been +there if he had chosen to take the journey and to leave home as soon as +he had received the message; and she made the same calculation as to +her Cousin Will though in that calculation, as we know, she was wrong. +These two days had been very desolate with her, and she had begun to +look forward to Mrs Askerton's coming when instead of that there came a +messenger with a letter from the cottage. + +'You can do as you like, my dear,' Colonel Askerton had said on the +previous evening to his wife. He had listened to all she had been +saying without taking his eyes from off his newspaper, though she had +spoken with much eagerness. + +'But that is not enough. You should say more to me than that.' + +'Now I think you are unreasonable. For myself, I do not care how this +matter goes; nor do I care one straw what any tongues may say. They +cannot reach me, excepting so far as they may reach me through you.' + +'But you should advise me.' + +'I always do copiously, when I think that I know better than you; but +in this matter I feel so sure that you know better than I, that I don't +wish to suggest anything.' Then he went on with his newspaper, and she +sat for a while looking at him, as though she expected that something +more would be said. But nothing more was said, and she was left +entirely to her own guidance. + +Since the days in which her troubles had come upon Mrs Askerton, Clara +Amedroz was the first female friend who had come near her to comfort +her, and she was very loth to abandon such comfort. There had, too, +been something more than comfort, something almost approaching to +triumph, when she found that Clara had clung to her with affection +after hearing the whole story of her life. Though her conscience had +not pricked her while she was exercising all her little planned +deceits, she had not taken much pleasure in them. How should any one +take pleasure in such work? Many of us daily deceive our friends, and +are so far gone in deceit that the deceit alone is hardly painful to +us. But the need of deceiving a friend is always painful. The treachery +is easy; but to be treacherous to those we love is never easy never +easy, even though it be so common. There had been a double delight to +this poor woman in the near neighbourhood of Clara Amedroz since there +had ceased to be a necessity for falsehood on her part. But now, almost +before her joy had commenced, almost before she had realized the +sweetness of her triumph, had come upon her this task of doing that +herself which Clara in her generosity had refused to do. 'I have made +my bed and I must lie upon it,' she said. And then, instead of going +down to the house as she had promised, she wrote the following letter +to Miss Amedroz: + + + +'The Cottage, Monday. + +Dearest Clara + +I need not tell you that I write as I do now with a bleeding heart. A +few days since I should have laughed at any woman who used such a +phrase of herself, and declared her to be an affected fool; but now I +know how true such a word may be. My heart is bleeding, and I feel +myself to be overcome by my disgrace. You told me that I did not +understand you yesterday. Of course I understood you. Of course I know +how it all is, and why you spoke as you did of Captain Aylmer. He has +chosen to think that you could not know me without pollution, and has +determined that you must give up either me or him. Though he has judged +me, I am not going to judge him. The world is on his side; and, +perhaps, he is right. He knows nothing of my trials and difficulties +and why should he? I do not blame him for demanding that his future +wife shall not be intimate with a woman who is supposed to have lost +her fitness for the society of women. + +At any rate, dearest, you must obey him and we will see each other no +more. I am quite sure that I should be very wicked were I to allow you +to injure your position in life on my account. You at any rate love +him, and would be happy with him, and as you are engaged to him, you +have no just ground for resenting his interference. + +You will understand me now as well as though I were to fill sheets and +sheets of paper with what I could say on the subject. The simple fact +is, that you and I must forget each other, or simply remember one +another as past friends. You will know in a day or two what your plans +are. If you remain here, we will go away. If you go away, we will +remain here that is, if your cousin will keep us as tenants. I do not, +of course, know what you may have written to Captain Aylmer since our +interview up here, but I beg that you will write to him now, and make +him understand that he need have no fears in respect of me. You may +send him this letter if you will. Oh, dear! If you could know what I +suffer as I write this. + +I feel that I owe you an apology for harassing you on such a subject at +such a time; but I know that I ought not to lose a day in tolling you +that you are to see nothing more of the friend who has loved you. + +MARY ASKERTON.' + +Clara's first impulse on receiving this letter was to go off at once +to the cottage, and insist on her privilege of choosing her own +friends. If she preferred Mrs Askerton to Captain Aylmer, that was no +one's business but her own. And she would have done so had she not been +afraid of meeting with Colonel Askerton. To him she would not have +known how to speak on such a subject nor would she have known how to +conduct herself at the cottage without speaking of it. And then, after +a while, she felt that were she to do so should she now deliberately +determine to throw herself into Mrs Askerton's arms she must at the +same time give up all ideas of becoming Captain Aylmer's wife. As she +thought of this she asked herself various questions concerning him, +which she did not find it easy to answer. Did she wish to be his wife? +Could she assure herself that if they were married they would make each +other happy? Did she love him? She was still able to declare to herself +that the answer to the last question should be an affirmative; but, +nevertheless, she thought that she could give him up without great +unhappiness. And when she began to think of Lady Aylmer, and to +remember that Frederic Aylmer's imperative demands upon her obedience +had, in all probability, been dictated by his mother, she was again +anxious to go at once to the cottage, and declare that she would not +submit to any interference with her own judgment. + +On the next morning the postman brought to her a letter which was of +much moment to her but he brought to her also tidings which moved her +more even than the letter. The letter was from the lawyer, and enclosed +a cheque for seventy-five pounds, which he had been instructed to pay +to her, as the interest of the money left to her by her aunt. What +should be her answer to that letter she knew very well, and she +instantly wrote it, sending back the cheque to Mr Green. The postman's +news, more important than the letter, told her that William Belton was +at the inn at Redicote. + + +CHAPTER XXII + +PASSIONATE PLEADING + +Clara wrote her letter to the lawyer, returning the cheque, before she +would allow herself a moment to dwell upon the news of her cousin's +arrival. She felt that it was necessary to do that before she should +even see her cousin thus providing against any difficulty which might +arise from adverse advice on his part; and as soon as the letter was +written she sent it to the post-office in the village. She would do +almost any. thing that Will might tell her to do, but Captain Aylmer's +money she would not take, even though Will might so direct her. They +would tell her, no doubt, among them, that the money was her own that +she might take it without owing any thanks for it to Captain Aylmer. +But she knew better than that as she told herself over and over again. +Her aunt had left her nothing, and nothing would she have from Captain +Aylmer unless she had all that Captain Aylmer had to give, after the +fashion in which women best love to take such gifts. + +Then, when she had done that, she was able to think of her cousin's +visit. 'I knew he would come,' she said to herself, as she sat herself +in one of the old chairs in the hall, with a large shawl wrapped round +her shoulders. She had just been to the front door, with the nominal +purpose of dispatching her messenger thence to the post-office; but she +had stood for a minute or two under the portico, looking in the +direction by which Belton would come from Redicote, expecting, or +rather hoping, that she might see his figure or hear the sound of his +gig. But she saw nothing and heard nothing, and so returned into the +hall, slowly shutting the door. 'I knew that he would come,' she said, +repeating to herself the same words over and over again. Yet when Mrs +Askerton had told her that he would do this thing which he had now +done, she had expressed herself as almost frightened by the idea. 'God +forbid,' she had said. Nevertheless now that he was there at Redicote, +she assured herself that his coming was a thing of which she had been +certain; and she took a joy in the knowledge of his nearness to her +which she did not attempt to define to herself. Had he not said that he +would be a brother to her, and was it not a brother's part to go to a +sister in affliction? 'I knew that he would come. I was sure of it. He +is so true.' As to Captain Aylmer's not coming she said nothing, even +to herself; but she felt that she had been equally sure on that +subject. Of course, Captain Aylmer would not come! He had sent her +seventy-five pounds in lieu of coming, and in doing so was true to his +character. Both men were doing exactly that which was to have been +expected of them. So at least Clara Amedroz now assured herself. She +did not ask herself how it was that she had come to love the thinner +and the meaner of the two men, but she knew well that such had been her +fate. + +On a sudden she rose from her chair, as though remembering a duty to be +performed, and went to the kitchen and directed that breakfast might be +got ready for Mr Belton. He would have travelled all night and would be +in want of food. Since the old squire's death there had been no regular +meal served in the house, and Clara had taken such scraps of food and +cups of tea as the old servant of the house had brought to her. But now +the cloth must be spread again, and as she did this with her own hands +she remembered the dinners which had been prepared for Captain Aylmer +at Perivale after his aunt's death. It seemed to her that she was used +to be in the house with death, and that the sadness and solemn +ceremonies of woe were. becoming things familiar to her. There grew +upon her a feeling that it must be so with her always. The +circumstances of her life would ever be sad. What right had she to +expect any other fate after such a catastrophe as that which her +brother had brought upon the family? It was clear to her that she had +done wrong in supposing that she could marry and live with a prosperous +man of the world like Captain Aylmer. Their natures were different, and +no such union could lead to any good. So she told herself, with much +misery of spirit, as she was preparing the breakfast-table for William +Belton. + +But William Belton did not come to eat the breakfast. He got what he +wanted in that way at the inn at Redicote, and even then hesitated, +loitering at the bar, before he would go over. What was he to say, and +how would he be received? After all, had he not done amiss in coming to +a house at which he probably might not be wanted? Would it not be +thought that his journey had been made solely with a view to his own +property? He would be regarded as the heir pouncing upon the +inheritance before as yet the old owner was under the ground. At any +rate it would be too early for him to make his visit yet awhile; and, +to kill time, he went over to a carpenter who had been employed by him +about the place at Belton. The carpenter spoke to him as though +everything were his own, and was very intent upon future improvements. +This made Will more disgusted with himself than ever, and before he +could get out of the carpenter's yard he thoroughly wished himself back +at Plaistow. But having come so far, he could hardly return without +seeing his cousin, and at last he had himself driven over, reaching the +house between eleven and twelve o'clock in the day. + +Clara met him in the hall, and at once led him into the room which she +had prepared for him. He had given her his hand in the hall, but did +not speak to her till she had spoken to him after the closing of the +room door behind them. 'I thought that you would come' she said, still +holding him by the hand. + +'I did not know what to do,' he answered. 'I couldn't say which was +best. Now I am here I shall only be in your way.' He did not dare to +press her hand, nor could he bring himself to take his away from her. + +'In my way yes; as an angel, to tell me what to do in my trouble. I +knew you would come, because you are so good. But you will have +breakfast see, I have got it ready for you.' + +'Oh no; I breakfasted at Redicote. I would not trouble you.' + +'Trouble me, Will! Oh, Will, if you knew!' Then there came tears in her +eyes, and at the sight of them both his own were filled. How was he to +stand it? To take her to his bosom and hold her there for always; to +wipe away her tears so that she should weep no more; to devote himself +and all his energy and all that was his comfort to her this he could +have done; but he knew not how to do anything short of this. Every word +that she spoke to him was an encouragement to this, and yet he knew +that it could not be so. To say a word of his love, or even to look it, +would now be an unmanly insult. And yet, how was he not to look it not +to speak of it? 'It is such a comfort that you should be here with me,' +she said. + +'Then I am glad I am here, though I do not know what I can do. Did he +suffer much, Clara?' + +'No, I think not; very little. He sank at last quicker than I expected, +but just as I thought he would go. He used to speak of you so often, +and. always with regard and esteem!' + +' Dear old man!' + +'Yes, Will; he was, in spite of his little faults. No father ever loved +his daughter better than he loved me.' + +After a while the servant brought in the tea, explaining to Belton that +Miss Clara had neither eaten nor drank that morning. 'She wouldn't take +anything till you came, sir.' Then Will added his entreaties, and Clara +was persuaded, and by degrees there grew between them more ease of +manner and capability for talking than had been within their reach when +they first met. And during the morning many things were explained, as +to which Clara would a few hours previously have thought it to be +almost impossible that she should speak to her cousin. She had told him +of her aunt's money, and the way in which she had on that very morning +sent back the cheque to the lawyer; and she had said something also as +to Lady Aylmer's views, and her own views as to Lady Aylmer. With Will +this subject was one most difficult of discussion; and he blushed and +fidgeted in his chair, and walked about the room, and found himself +unable to look Clara in the face as she spoke to him. But she went on, +goading him with the name, which of all names was the most distasteful +to him; and mentioning that name almost in terms of reproach of +reproach which he felt it would be ungenerous to reciprocate, but which +he would have exaggerated to unmeasured abuse if he had given his +tongue licence to speak his mind. + +'I was right to send back the money wasn't I, Will? Say that I was +right. Pray tell me that you think so!' + +'I don't understand it at present, you see; I am no lawyer.' + +'But it doesn't want a lawyer to know that I couldn't take the money +from him. I am sure you feel that.' + +'If a man owes money of course he ought to pay it.' + +'But he doesn't owe it, Will. It is intended for generosity.' + +'You don't want anybody's generosity, certainly.' Then he reflected +that Clara must, after all, depend entirely on the generosity of some +one till she was married; and he wanted to explain to her that +everything he had in the world was at her service was indeed her own. +Or he would have explained, if he knew how, that he did not intend to +take advantage of the entail that the Belton estate should belong to +her as the natural heir of her father. But he conceived that the moment +for explaining this had hardly as yet arrived, and that he bad better +confine himself to some attempt at teaching her that no extraneous +assistance would be necessary to her, 'In money matters,' said he, 'of +course you are to look to me. That is a matter of course. I'll see +Green about the other affairs. Green and I are friends. We'll settle +it.' + +'That's not what I meant, Will.' + +'But it's what I mean. This is one of those things in which a man has +to act on his own judgment. Your father and I understood each other.' + +'He did not understand that I was to accept your bounty.' + +'Bounty is a nasty word, and I hate it. You accepted me as your +brother, and as such I mean to act.' The word almost stuck in his +throat, but be brought it out at last in a fierce tone, of which she +understood accurately the cause and meaning. 'All money matters about +the place must be settled by me. Indeed, that's why I came down.' + +'Not only for that, Will?' + +'Just to be useful in that way, I mean.' + +'You came to see me because you knew I should want you.' Surely this +was malice prepense! Knowing what was his want, how could she +exasperate it by talking thus of her own? 'As for money, I have no +claim on any one. No creature was ever more forlorn. But I will not +talk of that.' + +'Did you not say that you would treat me as a brother?' + +'I did not mean that I was to be a burden on you.' + +'I know what I meant, and that is sufficient.' Belton had been at the +house some hours before he made any signs of leaving her, and when he +did so he had to explain something of his plans. He would remain, he +said, for about a week in the neighbourhood. + +She of course was obliged to ask him to stay at the house at the house +which was in fact his own; but he declined to do this, blurting out his +reason at last very plainly. 'Captain Aylmer would not like it, and I +suppose you are bound to think of what he likes and dislikes.' 'I don't +know what right Captain Aylmer would have to dislike any such thing,' +said Clara. But, nevertheless, she allowed the reason to pass as +current, and did not press her invitation. Will declared that he would +stay at the inn at Redicote,, striving to explain in some very +unintelligible manner that such an arrangement would be very +convenient. He would remain at Redicote, and would come over to Belton +every day during his sojourn in the country. Then he asked one question +in a low whisper as to the last sad ceremony, and, having received an +answer, started off with the declared intention of calling on Colonel +Askerton. + +The next two or three days passed uncomfortably enough with Will +Belton. He made his head- quarters at the little inn of Redicote, and +drove himself backwards and forwards between that place and the estate +which was now his own. On each of these days he saw Colonel Askerton, +whom he found to be a civil pleasant man, willing enough to rid himself +of the unpleasant task he had undertaken, but at the same time, willing +also to continue his services if any further services were required of +him. But of Mrs Askerton on these occasions Will saw nothing, nor had +he ever spoken to her since the time of his first visit to the Castle. +Then came the day of the funeral, and after that rite was over he +returned with his cousin to the house. There was no will to be read. +The old squire had left no will, nor was there anything belonging to +him at the time of his death that he could bequeath. The furniture in +the house, the worn-out carpets and old-fashioned chairs, belonged to +Clara; but, beyond that, property had she none, nor had it been in her +father's power to endow her with anything. She was alone in the world, +penniless, with a conviction on her own mind that her engagement with +Frederic Aylmer must of necessity come to an end, and with a feeling +about her cousin which she could hardly analyse, but which told her +that she could not go to his house in Norfolk, nor live with him at +Belton Castle, nor trust herself in his hands as she would into those +of a real brother. + +On the afternoon of the day on which her father had been buried, she +brought to him a letter, asking him to read it, and tell her what she +should do. The letter was from Lady Aylmer, and contained an invitation +to Aylmer Castle. It had been accompanied, as the reader may possibly +remember, by a letter from Captain Aylmer himself. Of this she of +course informed her cousin; but she did not find it to be necessary to +show the letter of one rival to the other. Lady Aylmer's letter was +cold in its expression of welcome, but very dictatorial in pointing out +the absolute necessity that Clara should accept the invitation so +given. 'I think you will not fail to agree with me, dear Miss Amedroz,' +the letter said, 'that under these strange and perplexing +circumstances, this is the only roof which can, with any propriety, +afford you a shelter.' 'And why not the poor-house?' she said, aloud to +her cousin, when she perceived that his eye had descended so far on the +page. He shook his head angrily, but said nothing; and when he had +finished the letter he folded it and gave it back still in silence. +'And what am I to do?' she said. 'You tell me that I am to come to you +for advice in everything.' + +'You must decide for yourself here.' + +'And you won't advise me.. You won't tell me whether she is right? + +'I suppose she is right.' + +'Then I had better go?' + +'If you mean to marry Captain Aylmer, you had better go.' + +'I am engaged to him.' + +'Then you had better go.' + +'But I will not submit myself to her tyranny.' + +'Let the marriage take place at once, and you will have to submit only +to his. I suppose you are prepared for that?' + +'I do not know. I do not like tyranny.' + +Again he stood silent for awhile, looking at her, and then he answered: +' I should not tyrannize over you, Clara.' + +'Oh, Will, Will, do not speak like that. Do not destroy everything.' + +'What am I to say?' + +'What would you say if your sister, your real sister, asked advice in +such a strait? If you had a sister, who came to you, and told you all +her difficulty, you would advise her. You would not say words to make +things worse for her.' + +'It would be very different.' + +'But you said you would be my brother.' + +'How am I to know what you feel for this man? It seems to me that you +half hate him, half fear him, and sometimes despise him.' + +'Hate him! No I never hate him.' + +'Go to him, then, and ask him what you had better do. Don't ask me.' +Then he hurried out of the room, slamming the door behind him. But +before he had half gone down the stairs he remembered the ceremony at +which he had just been present, and how desolate she was in the world, +and he returned to her. 'I beg your pardon, Clara,' he said, 'I am +passionate; but I must be a beast to show my passion to you on such a +day as this. If I were you I should accept Lady Aylmer's invitation +merely thanking her for it in the ordinary way. I should then go and +see how the land lay. That is the advice I should give my sister.' + +'And I will if it is only because you tell me.' + +'But as for a home tell her you have one of your own at Belton Castle, +from which no one can turn you out, and where no one can intrude on +you. This house belongs to you.' Then, before she could answer him, he +had left the room and she listened to his heavy quick footsteps as he +went across the hall and out of the front door. + +He walked across the park and entered the little gate of Colonel +Askerton's garden, as though it were his habit to go to the cottage +when he was at Belton. There had been various matters on which the two +men had been brought into contact concerning the old squire's death and +the tenancy of the cottage, so that they had become almost intimate. +Belton had nothing new that he specially desired to say to Colonel +Askerton, whom, indeed, he had seen only a short time before at the +funeral; but he wanted the relief of speaking to some one before he +returned to the solitude of the inn at Redicote. On this occasion, +however, the colonel was out, and the maid asked him if he would see +Mrs Askerton. When he said something about not troubling her, the girl +told him that her mistress wished to speak to him, and then he had no +alternative but to allow himself to be shown into the drawing-room. + +'I want to see you a minute,' said Mrs Askerton, bowing to him without +putting out her hand, 'that I might ask you how you find your cousin.' + +'She is pretty well, I think' + +'Colonel Askerton has seen more of her than I have since her father's +death, and he says that she does not bear it well. He thinks that she +is ill.' + +'I do not think her ill. Of course she is not in good spirits.' + +'No; exactly. How should she be? But he thinks she seems so worn. I +hope you will excuse me, Mr Belton, but I love her so well that I +cannot bear to be quite in the dark as to her future. Is anything +settled yet?' + +'She is going to Aylmer Castle.' + +'To Aylmer Castle! Is she indeed? At once?' + +'Very soon. Lady Aylmer has asked her.' + +'Lady Aylmer! Then I suppose' + +'You suppose what?' Will Belton asked. + +'I did not think she would have gone to Aylmer Castle though I dare say +it is the best thing she could do She seemed to me to dislike the +Aylmers that is, Lady Aylmer so much! But I suppose she is right?' + +'She is right to go if she likes it.' + +'She is circumstanced so cruelly! Is she not? Where else could she go? +I do so feel for her. I believe I need hardly tell you, Mr Belton, +that, she would be as welcome here as flowers in May but that I do not +dare to ask her to come to us.' She said this in a low voice, turning +her eyes away from him, looking first upon the ground, and then again +up at the window but still not daring to meet his eye. + +'I don't exactly know about that,' said Belton awkwardly. + +'You know, I hope, that I love her dearly.' + +'Everybody does that,' said Will. + +'You do, Mr Belton.' + +'Yes I do; just as though she were my sister.' + +'And as your sister would you let her come here to us?' He sat silent +for awhile, thinking, and she waited patiently for his answer. Bat she +spoke again before he answered her. 'I am well aware that you know all +my history, Mr Belton.' + +'I shouldn't tell it her, if you mean that, though she were my sister. +If she were my wife I should tell her.' + +'And why your wife?' + +'Because then I should be sure it would do no harm.' + +'Then I find that you can be generous, Mr Belton. But she knows it all +as well as you do.' + +'I did not tell her.' + +'Nor did I but I should have done so had not Captain Aylmer been before +me. And now tell me whether I could ask her to come here.' + +'It would be useless, as she is going to Aylmer Castle'. + +'But she is going there simply to find a home having no other.' + +'That is not so, Mrs Askerton. She has a home as perfectly her own as +any woman in the land. Belton Castle is hers, to do what she may please +with it. She can live here if she likes it, and nobody can say a word +to her. She need not go to Aylmer Castle to look for a home.' + +'You mean you would lend her the house?' + +'It is hers.' + +'I do not understand you, Mr Belton.' + +'It does not signify we will say no more about it.' + +'And you think she likes going to Lady Aylmer's?' + +'How should I say what she likes?' + +Then there was another pause before Mrs Askerton spoke again. 'I can +tell you one thing,' she said: 'she does not like him.' + +'That is her affair.' + +'But she should be taught to know her own mind before she throws +herself away altogether. You would not wish your cousin to marry a man +whom she does not love because at one time she had come to think that +she loved him. That is the truth of it, Mr Belton. If she goes to +Aylmer Castle she will marry him and she will be an unhappy woman +always afterwards. If you would sanction her coming here for a few +days, I think all that would be cured. She would come in a moment, if +you advised her.' + +Then he went away, allowing himself to make no further answer at the +moment, and discussed the matter with himself as he walked back to +Redicote, meditating on it with all his mind, and all his heart, and +all his strength. And, as he meditated, it came on to rain bitterly a +cold piercing February rain and the darkness of night came upon him, +and he floundered on through the thick mud of the Somersetshire lanes, +unconscious of the weather and of the darkness. There was a way open to +him by which he might even yet get what he wanted. He thought he saw +that there was a way open to him through the policy of this woman, whom +he perceived to have become friendly to him. He saw, or thought that he +saw, it all. No day had absolutely been fixed for this journey to +Yorkshire; and if Clara were induced to go first to the cottage, and +stay there with Mrs Askerton, no such journey might ever be taken. He +could well understand that such a visit on her part would give a mortal +offence to all the Aylmers. That tyranny of which Clara spoke with so +much dread would be exhibited then without reserve, and so there would +be an end altogether of the Aylmer alliance. But were she once to start +for Aylmer Park, then there would be no hope for him. Then her fate +would be decided -and his. As far as he could see, too as far as he +could see then, there would be no dishonesty in this plan. Why should +Clara not go to Mrs Askerton's house? What could be more natural than +such a visit at such a time? If she were in truth his sister he would +not interfere to prevent it if she wished it. He had told himself that +the woman should be forgiven her offence, and had thought that that +forgiveness should be complete. If the Aylmers were so unreasonable as +to quarrel with her on this ground, let them quarrel with her. Mrs +Askerton had told him that Clara did not really like Captain Aylmer. +Perhaps it was so; and if so, what greater kindness could he do her +than give her an opportunity for escaping such a union? + +The whole of the next day he remained at Redicote, thinking, doubting, +striving to reconcile his wishes and his honesty. It rained all day, +and as he sat alone, smoking in the comfortless inn, he told himself +that the rain was keeping him but in truth it was not the rain. Had he +resolved to do his best to prevent this visit to Yorkshire, or had he +resolved to further it, I think he would have gone to Belton without +much fear of the rain. On the second day after the funeral he did go, +and he had then made up his mind. Clara, if she would listen to him, +should show her independence of Lady Aylmer by staying a few days with +the Askertons before she went to Yorkshire, and by telling Lady Aylmer +that such was her intention. 'If she really loves the man,' he said to +himself, 'she will go at once, in spite of anything that I can say. If +she does not, I shall be saving her.' + +'How cruel of you not to come yesterday! ' Clara said, as soon as she +saw him., + +'It rained hard,' he answered. + +' But men like you care so little for rain; but that is when you have +business to take you out or pleasure.' + +'You need not be so severe. The truth is I had things to trouble me.' + +'What troubled you, Will. I thought all the trouble was mine.' + +'I suppose everybody thinks that his own shoe pinches the hardest.' + +'Your shoe can't pinch you very bad, I should think. Sometimes when I +think of you it seems that you are an embodiment of prosperity and +happiness.' + +'I don't see it myself that's all. Did you write to Lady Aylmer, Clara?' + +'I wrote; but I didn't send it. I would not send any letter till I had +shown it to you, as you are my confessor and adviser. There; read it. +Nothing, I think, could be more courteous or less humble.' He took the +letter and read it. Clara had simply expressed herself willing to +accept Lady Aylmer's invitation, and asked her ladyship to fix a day. +There was no mention of Captain Aylmer's name in the note. + +'And you think this is best?' he said. His voice was hardly like his +own as he spoke. There was wanting to it that tone of self-assurance +which his voice almost always possessed, even when self- assurance was +lacking to his words. + +'I thought it was your own advice,' she said. + +'Well yes; that is, I don't quite know. You couldn't go for a week or +so yet, I suppose.' + +'Perhaps in about a week.' + +'And what will you do till then.?' + +'What will I do!' + +'Yes where do you mean to stay?' + +'I thought, Will, that perhaps you would let me remain here.' + +'Let you! Oh, heavens! Look here, Clara.' + +'Before heaven I want what may be the best for you without thinking of +you, if I could only help it.' + +'I have never doubted you. I never will doubt you. I believe in you +next to my God. I do, Will; I do.' He walked up and down the room +half-a-dozen times before he spoke again, while she stood by the table +watching him. 'I wish,' she said, 'I knew what it is that troubles +you.' To this he made no answer, but went on walking till she came up +to him, and putting both her hands upon his arm said, 'It will be +better, Will, that I should go will it not? Speak to me, and say so. I +feel that it will be better.' Then he stopped in his walk and looked +down upon her, as her hands still rested upon his shoulder. He gazed +upon her for some few seconds, remaining quite motionless, and then, +opening his arms, he surrounded her with his embrace, and pressing her +with all his strength close to his bosom, kissed her forehead, and her +cheeks, and her lips, and her eyes. His will was so masterful, his +strength so great, and his motion so quick, that she was powerless to +escape from him till he relaxed his hold. Indeed she hardly struggled, +so much was she surprised and so soon released. But the moment that he +left her he saw that her face was burning red, and that the tears were +streaming from her eyes. She stood for a moment trembling, with her +hands clenched, and with a look of scorn upon her lips and brow that he +had never seen before; and then she threw herself on a sofa, and, +burying her face, sobbed aloud; while her whole body was shaken as with +convulsions. He leaned over her repentant, not knowing what to do, not +knowing how to speak. All ideas of his scheme had gone from him now. He +had offended her for ever past redemption. What could be the use now of +any scheme? And as he stood there he hated himself because of his +scheme. The utter misery and disgrace of the present moment had come +upon him because he had thought more of himself than of her. It was but +a few moments since she had told him that she trusted him next to her +God; and yet in those few moments, he had shown himself utterly +unworthy of that trust, and had destroyed all her confidence. But he +could not leave, her without speaking to her. 'Clara!' he said 'Clara.' +But she did not answer him. 'Clara; will you not speak to me? Will you +not let me ask you to forgive me?' But still she only sobbed. For her, +at that moment, we may say that sobbing was easier than speech. How was +she to pardon so great an offence? How was she to resent such +passionate love? + +But he could not continue to stand there motionless, all but +speechless, while she lay with her face turned away from him. He must +at any rate in some manner take himself away out of the room; and this +he could not do, even in his present condition of unlimited disgrace, +without a word of farewell. 'Perhaps I had better go and leave you,' he +said. + +Then at last there came a voice, 'Oh, Will, why have you done this? +Why have you treated me so badly?' When he had last seen her face her +mouth had been full of scorn, but, there was, no scorn now in her +voice. 'Why why why?' + +Why indeed except that it was needful for him that she should know the +depth of his passion. 'If you will forgive me, Clara, I will not offend +you so again,' he said. + +'You have offended me. What am I to say? What am I to do? I have no +other friend.' + +'I am a wretch. I know that I am a wretch.' + +'I did not suspect that you would be so cruel. Oh, Will!' + +But before he went she told him that she had forgiven him, and she had +preached to him a solemn, sweet sermon on the wickedness of yielding, +to momentary impulses. Her low, grave words sank into his ears as +though they were divine; and when she said a word to him, blushing as +she spoke, of the sin of his passion and of what her sin would be, if +she were to permit it, he sat by her weeping like an infant, tears +which were certainly tears of innocence. She had been very angry with +him; but I think she loved him better when, her sermon was finished +than she had ever loved him before. + +There was no further question as to her going to Aylmer Castle, nor was +any mention made of Mrs Askerton's invitation to the cottage. The +letter for Lady Aylmer was sent, and it was agreed between them that +Will should remain at Redicote till the answer from Yorkshire should +come, and should then convey Clara as far as London on her journey. And +when he took leave of her that afternoon, she was able to give him her +hand in her old hearty, loving way, and to call him Will with the old +hearty, loving tone. And he he was able to accept these tokens of her +graciousness, as though they were signs of a pardon which she had been +good to give, but which he certainly had not deserved. + +As he went back to Redicote, he swore to himself that he would never +love any woman but her even though she must be the wife of Captain +Aylmer. + + +CHAPTER XXIII + +THE LAST DAY AT BELTON + +In course of post there came an answer from Lady Aylmer, naming a day +for Clara's journey to Yorkshire, and also a letter from Captain +Aylmer, in, which he stated that he would meet her in London and convey +her down to Aylmer Park. 'The House is sitting,' he said, 'and +therefore I shall be a little troubled about my time; but I cannot +allow that your first meeting with my mother should take place in my +absence.' This was all very well, but at the end of the letter there +was a word of caution that was not so well. 'I am sure, my dear Clara, +that you will remember how much is due to my mother's age, and +character, and position. Nothing will be wanted to the happiness of our +marriage, if you can succeed in gaining her affection, and therefore I +make it my first request to you, that you should endeavour to win her +good opinion.' There was nothing perhaps really amiss, certainly +nothing unreasonable, in such words from a future husband to his future +wife; but Clara, as she read them, shook her head and pressed her foot +against the ground in anger. It would not do. Sorrow would come and +trouble and disappointment. She did not say so, even to herself in +words; but the words, though not spoken, were audible enough to +herself. She could not, would not, bend to Lady Aylmer, and she knew +that trouble would come of this visit. + +I fear that many ladies will condemn Miss Amedroz when I tell them that +she showed this letter to her Cousin Will. It does not promise well for +any of the parties concerned when a young woman with two lovers can +bring herself to show the love-letters of him to whom she is engaged to +the other lover whom she has refused! But I have two excuses to put +forward in Clara's defence. In the first place, Captain Aylmer's +love-letters were not in truth love-letters, but were letters of +business; and in the next place, Clara was teaching herself to regard +Will Belton as her brother, and to forget that he had ever assumed the +part of a lover. + +She was so teaching herself, but I cannot say that the lesson was one +easily learned; nor had the outrage upon her of which Will had been +guilty, and which was described in the last chapter, made the teaching +easier. But she had determined, nevertheless, that it should be so. +When she thought of Will her heart would become very soft towards him; +and sometimes, when she thought of Captain Aylmer, her heart would +become anything but soft towards him. Unloving feelings would be very +strong within her bosom as she re-read his letters, and remembered that +he had not come to her, but had sent her seventy-five pounds to comfort +her in her trouble! Nevertheless, he was to be her husband, and she +would do her duty. What might have happened had Will Belton come to +Belton Castle before she had known Frederic Aylmer of that she stoutly +resolved that she would never think at all; and consequently the +thought was always intruding upon her. + +'You will sleep one night in town, of course?' said Will. + +'I suppose so. You know all about it. I shall do as I'm told.' + +'You can't go down to Yorkshire from here in one day. Where would you +like to stay in London?' + +'How on earth should I know? Ladies do sleep at hotels in London +sometimes, I suppose?' + +'Oh yes. I can write and have rooms ready for you.' + +'Then that difficulty is over,' said Clara. + +But in Belton's estimation the difficulty was not exactly over. Captain +Aylmer would, of course, be in London that night, and it was a question +with Will whether or no Clara was not bound in honour to tell the +accursed beast, I am afraid Mr Belton called him in his soliloquies +where she would lodge on the occasion. Or would it suffice that he, +Will, should hand her over to the enemy at the station of the Great +Northern Railway on the following morning? All the little intricacies +of the question presented themselves to Will's imagination. How careful +he would be with her, that the inn accommodation should suffice for her +comfort! With what pleasure would he order a little dinner for them +two, making something of a gentle fˆte of the occasion! How sedulously +would he wait upon her with those little attentions, amounting almost +to worship, with which such men as Will Belton are prone to treat all +women in exceptionable circumstances, when the ordinary routine of life +has been disturbed! If she had simply been his cousin, and if he had +never regarded her otherwise, how happily could he have done all this! +As things now were, if it was left to him to do, he should do it, with +what patience and grace might be within his power; he would do it, +though he would be mindful every moment of the bitterness of the +transfer which he would so soon be obliged to make; but he doubted +whether it would not be better for Clara's sake that the transfer +should be made overnight. He would take her up to London, because in +that way he could be useful; and then he would go away and hide +himself. 'Has Captain Aylmer said where he would meet you?' he asked +after a pause. + +'Of course I must write and tell him.' + +'And is he to come to you when you reach London?' + +'He has said nothing about that. 'He will probably be at the House of +Commons, or too busy somewhere to come to me then. But why do you ask? +Do you wish to hurry through town?' + +'Oh dear, no.' + +'Or perhaps you have friends you want to see. Pray don't let me be in +your way. I shall do very well, you know.' + +Belton rebuked her by a look before he answered her. 'I was only +thinking,' he said, 'of what would be most convenient for yourself. I +have nobody to see, and nothing to do, and nowhere to go to.' Then +Clara understood it all, and said that she would write to Captain +Aylmer and ask him, to join them at the hotel. + +She determined that she would see Mrs Askerton before she went; and as +that lady did not come to the Castle, Clara called upon her at the +cottage. This she did the day before she left, and she took her cousin +with her. Belton had been at the cottage once or twice since the day on +which Mrs Askerton had explained to him how the Aylmer alliance might +be extinguished, but Colonel Askerton had always been there, and no +reference had been made to the former conversation. Colonel Askerton +was not there now, and Belton was almost afraid that words would be +spoken to which he would hardly know how to listen. + +'And so you are really going?' said Mrs Askerton. + +'Yes; we start tomorrow,' said Clara. + +'I am not thinking of the journey to London,' said Mrs Askerton, 'but +of the danger and privations of your subsequent progress to the North.' + +'I shall do very well. I am not afraid that any one will eat me.' + +'There are so many different ways of eating people! Are there not, Mr +Belton?' + +'I don't know about eating, but there are a great many ways of boring +people,' said he. + +'And I should think they will be great at that kind of thing at Aylmer +Castle. One never hears of Sir Anthony, but I can fancy Lady Aylmer to +be a terrible woman.' + +'I shall manage to hold my own, I dare say,' said Clara. + +'I hope you will; I do hope you will,' said Mrs Askerton. 'I don't know +whether you will be powerful to do so, or whether you will fail; my +heart is not absolute; but I do know what will be the result if you are +successful.' + +'It is much more then than I know myself.' + +'That I can believe too. Do you travel down to Yorkshire alone?' + +'No; Captain Aylmer will meet me in town.' + +Then Mrs Askerton looked at Mr Belton, but made no immediate reply; nor +did she say anything further about Clara's journey. She looked at Mr +Belton, and Will caught her eye, and understood that he was being +rebuked for not having carried out that little scheme which, had been +prepared for him. But he had come to hate the scheme, and almost hated +Mrs Askerton for proposing it. He had declared to himself that her +welfare, Clara's welfare, was the one thing which the should regard; +and he had told himself that he was not strong enough, either in +purpose or in wit, to devise schemes for her welfare. She was better +able to manage things for herself than he was to manage them for her. +If she loved this 'accursed beast,' let her marry him; only for that +was now his one difficulty only he could not bring himself to think it +possible that she should love him. + +'I suppose you will never see this place again?' said Mrs Askerton +after a long pause. + +'I hope I shall, very often,' said Clara. 'Why should I not see it +again? It is not going out of the family.' + +'No not exactly out of the family. That is, it will belong to your +cousin.' + +'And cousins may be as far apart as strangers, you mean; but Will and I +are not like that; are we, Will?' + +'I hardly know what we are like,' said he. + +'You do not mean to say that you will throw me over? But the truth is, +Mrs Askerton, that I do not mean to be thrown over. I look upon him as +my brother, and I intend to cling to him as sisters do cling.' + +'You will hardly come back here before you are married,' said Mrs +Askerton. It was a terrible speech for her to make, and could only be +excused on the ground that the speaker was in truth desirous of doing +that which she thought would benefit both of those whom she addressed. + +'Of course you are going to your wedding now?' + +'I am doing nothing of the kind,' said Clara. 'How can you speak in +that way to me so soon after my father's death? It is a rebuke to me +for being here at all.' + +'I intend no rebuke, as you well know. What I mean is this; if you do +not stay in Yorkshire till you are married, let the time be when it +may, where do you intend to go in the meantime?' + +'My plans are not settled yet.' + +'She will have this house if she pleases,' said Will. 'There will be no +one else here. It will be her own, to do as she likes with it.' + +'She will hardly come here to be alone.' + +'I will not be inquired into, my dear,' said Clara, speaking with +restored good-humour. 'Of course I am an unprotected female, and +subject to disadvantages. Perhaps I have no plans for the future; and +if I have plans, perhaps I do not mean to divulge them.' + +'I had better come to the point at once,' said Mrs Askerton. 'If if if +it should ever suit you, pray come here to us. Flowers shall not be +more welcome in May. It is difficult to speak of it all, though you +both understand everything as well as I do. I cannot press my +invitation as another woman might.' + +'Yes, you can,' said Clara with energy. 'Of course you can.' + +'Can I? Then I do. Dear Clara, do come to us.' And then as she spoke +Mrs Askerton knelt on the ground at her visitor's knees. 'Mr Belton, do +tell her that when she is tired with the grandeur of Aylmer Park she +may come to us here.' + +'I don't know anything about the grandeur of Aylmer Park,' said Will, +suddenly. + +'But she may come here may she not?' + +'She will not ask my leave,' said he. + +'She says that you are her brother. Whose leave should she ask?' + +'He knows that I should ask his rather than that of any living person,' +said Clara. + +'There, Mr Belton. Now you must say that she may come or that she may +not.' + +'I will say nothing. She knows what to do much better than I can tell +her.' + +Mrs Askerton was still kneeling, and again appealed to Clara. 'You hear +what he says. What do you say yourself? Will you come to us? that is, +if such a visit will suit you in point of convenience?' + +'I will make no promise; but I know no reason why I should not.' + +'And I must be content with that? Well: I will be content.' Then she +got up. 'For such a one as I am, that is a great deal. And, Mr Belton, +let me tell you this I can be grateful to you, though you cannot be +gracious to me.' + +'I hope I have not been ungracious,' said he. + +'Upon my word, I cannot compliment you. But there is something so much +better than grace, that I can forgive you. You know, at any rate, how +thoroughly I wish you well.' + +Upon this Clara got up to take her leave, and the demonstrative +affection of an embrace between the two women afforded a remedy for the +awkwardness of the previous conversation. + +'God bless you, dearest,' said Mrs Askerton. 'May I write to you?' + +'Certainly,' said Clara. + +'And you will answer my letters?' + +'Of course I will. You must tell me everything about the place and +especially as to Bessy. Bessy is never to be sold is she, Will? Bessy +was the cow which Belton had given her. + +'Not if you choose to keep her.' + +'I will go down and see to her myself,' said Mrs Askerton, and will +utter little prayers of my own over her horns that certain events that +I desire may come to pass. Good-bye, Mr Belton. You may be as +ungracious as you please, but it will not make any difference.' + +When Clara and her cousin left the cottage they did not return to the +house immediately, but took a last walk round the park, and through the +shrubbery, and up to the rocks on which a remarkable scene bad once +taken place between them. Few words were spoken as they were walking, +and there had been no agreement as to the path they would take. Each +seemed to understand that there was much of melancholy in their present +mood, and that silence was more fitting than speech. But when they +reached the rocks Belton sat himself down, asking Clara's leave to stop +there for a moment. 'I don't suppose I shall ever come to this place +again,' said he. + +'You are as bad as Mrs Askerton,' said Clara. + +'I do not think I shall ever come to this place again,' said he, +repeating his words very solemnly. At any rate, I will never do so +willingly, unless' + +'Unless what?' + +'Unless you are either my wife, or have promised to become so.' + +'Oh, Will; you know that that is impossible.' + +'Then it is impossible that I should come here again.' + +'You know that I am engaged to another man.' + +'Of course I do. I am not asking you to break your engagement. I am +simply telling you that in spite of that engagement I love you as well +as I did love you before you had made it. I have a right to let you +know the truth.' As if she had not known it without his telling it to +her now! 'It was here that I told you that I loved you. I now repeat it +here; and will never come here again unless I may say the same thing +over and over and over. That is all. We might as well go on now.' But +when he got up she sat down, as though unwilling to leave the spot. It +was still winter, and the rock was damp with cold drippings from the +trees, and the moss around was wet, and little pools of water had +formed themselves in the shallow holes upon the surface. She did not +speak as she seated herself; but he was of course obliged to wait till +she should be ready to accompany him. 'It is too cold for you to sit +there,' he said. 'Come, Clara; I will not have you loiter here. It is +cold and wet.' + +'It is not colder for me than for you.' + +'You are not used to that sort of thing as I am.' + +'Will,' she said, ' you must never speak to me again as you spoke just +now. Promise me that you will not.' + +'Promises will do no good in such a matter.' + +'It is almost a repetition of what you did before though of course it +is not so bad as that.' + +'Everything I do is bad.' + +'No, Will dear Will! Almost everything you do is good. But of what use +can it be to either of us for you to be thinking of that which can +never be? Cannot you think of me as your sister and only as your sister? + +'No; I cannot.' + +'Then it is not right that we should be together.' + +'I know nothing of right. You ask me a question, and I suppose you +don't wish that I should tell you a lie.' + +'Of course I do not wish that.' + +'Therefore I tell you the truth. I love you as any other man loves the +girl that he does love; and, as far as I know myself now, I never can +be happy unless you are my own.' + +'Oh, Will, how can that be when I am engaged to marry another man?' + +'As to your engagement I should care nothing. Does he love you as I +love you? If he loves you, why is he not here? If he loves you, why +does he let his mother ill-use you, and treat you with scorn? If he +loves you as I love you, how could he write to you as he does write? +Would I write to you such a letter as that? Would I let you be here +without coming to you to be looked after by any one else? If you had +said that you would be my wife, would I leave you in solitude and +sorrow, and then send you seventy-five pounds to console you? If you +think he loves you, Clara' + +'He thought he was doing right when he sent me the money.' + +'But he shouldn't have thought it right. Never mind. I don't want to +accuse him; but this I know and you know; he does not love you as I +love you.' + +'What can I say to answer you?' + +'Say that you will wait till you have seen him. Say that I may have a +hope a chance; that if he is cold, and hard, and and and, just what we +know he is, then I may have a chance.' + +'How can I say that when I am engaged to him? Cannot you understand +that I am wrong to let you speak of him as you do?' + +'How else am I to speak of him? Tell me this. Do you love him?' 'Yes I +do.' + +'I don't believe it!' + +'Will!' + +'I don't believe it. Nothing on earth shall make me believe it. It is +impossible impossible!' + +'Do you mean to insult me, Will?' + +'No; I do not mean to insult you, but I mean to tell you the truth. I +do not think you love that man as you ought to love the man whom you +are going to marry. I should tell you just the same thing if I were +really your brother. Of course it isn't that I suppose you love any one +else me for instance. I'm not such a fool as that. But I don't think +you love him; and I'm quite sure he doesn't love you. That's just what +I believe; and if I do believe it, how am I to help telling you?' + +'You've no right to have such beliefs.' + +'How am I to help it? Well never mind. I won't let you sit there any +longer. At any rate you'll be able to understand now that I shall never +come to this place any more.' Clara, as she got up to obey him, felt +that she also ought never to see it again unless, indeed unless + +They passed that evening together without any reference to the scene on +the rock, or any allusion to their own peculiar troubles. Clara, though +she would not admit to Mrs Askerton that she was going away from the +place for ever, was not the less aware that such might very probably be +the case. She had no longer any rights of ownership at Belton Castle, +and all that had taken place between her and her cousin tended to make +her feel that under no circumstances could she again reside there. Nor +was it probable that she would be able to make to Mrs Askerton the +visit of which they had been talking. If Lady Aylmer were wise so Clara +thought there would be no mention of Mrs Askerton at Aylmer Park; and, +if so, of course she would not outrage her future husband by proposing +to go to a house of which she knew that he disapproved. If Lady Aylmer +were not wise if she should take upon herself the task of rebuking +Clara for her friendship then, in such circumstances as those, Clara +believed that the visit to Mrs Askerton might be possible. + +But she determined that she would leave the home in which she had been +born, and had passed so many happy and so many unhappy days, as though +she were never to see it again. All her packing had been done, down to +the last fragment of an old letter that was stuffed into her +writing-desk; but, nevertheless, she went about the house with a candle +in her hand, as though she were still looking that nothing had been +omitted, while she was in truth saying farewell in her heart to every +corner which she knew so well. When at last she came down to pour out +for her desolate cousin his cup of tea, she declared that everything +was done. 'You may go to work now, Will,' she said, and do what you +please with the old place. My jurisdiction is over.' + +'Not altogether,' said he. He no longer spoke like a despairing lover. +Indeed there was a smile round his mouth, and his voice was cheery. + +'Yes altogether. I give over my sovereignty from this moment and a +dirty dilapidated sovereignty it is.' + +'That's all very well to say.' + +'And also very well to do. What best pleases me in going to Aylmer +Castle just now is the power it gives me of doing at once that which +otherwise I might have put off till the doing of it had become much +more unpleasant. Mr Belton, there is the key of the cellar which I +believe gentlemen always regard as the real sign of possession. I don't +advise you to trust much to the contents.' He took the key from her, +and without saying a word chucked it across the room on to an old sofa. +'If you won't take it, you had better, at any rate, have it tied up +with the others,' she said. + +'I dare say you'll know where to find it when you want it,' he answered. + +'I shall never want it.' + +'Then it's as well there as anywhere else.' + +'But you won't remember, Will.' + +'I don't suppose I shall have occasion for remembering.' Then he paused +a moment before he went on. 'I have told you before that I do not +intend to take possession of the place. I do not regard it as mine at +all.' + +'And whose is it, then?' + +'Yours.' + +'No, dear Will; it is not mine. You know that.' + +'I intend that it shall be so, and therefore you might as well put the +keys where you will know how to find them.' + +Alter he had gone she did take up the key, and tied it with sundry +others, which she intended to give to the old servant who was to be +left in charge of the house. But after a few moments' consideration she +took the cellar key again off the bunch, and put it back upon the sofa +in the place to which he had thrown it. + +On the following morning they started on their journey. The old fly +from Redicote was not used on this occasion, as Belton had ordered a +pair of post-horses and a comfortable carriage from Taunton. 'I think +it such a shame,' said Clara, 'going away for the last time without +having Jerry and the grey horse.' Jerry was the man who had once driven +her to Taunton when the old horse fell with her on the road. 'But Jerry +and the grey horse could not have taken you and me too, and all our +luggage,' said Will. 'Poor Jerry! I suppose not,' said Clara; 'but +still there is an injury done in going without him.' + +There were four or five old dependents of the family standing round the +door to bid her adieu, to all of whom she gave her hand with a cordial +pressure. They, at least, seemed to regard her departure as final. And +of course it was final. She had assured herself of that during the +night. And just as they were about to start, both Colonel and Mrs +Askerton walked up to the door. 'He wouldn't let you go without bidding +you farewell,' said Mrs Askerton. 'I am so glad to shake hands with +him,' Clara answered. Then the colonel spoke a word to her, and, as he +did so, his wife contrived to draw Will Belton for a moment behind the +carriage. 'Never give it up, Mr Belton,' said she eagerly. 'If you +persevere she'll be yours yet.' 'I fear not,' he said. 'Stick to her +like a man,' said she, pressing his hand in her vehemence. 'If you do, +you'll live to thank me for having told you so.' Will had not a word to +say for himself, but he thought that he would stick to her. Indeed, he +thought that he had stuck to her pretty well. + +At last they were off, and the village of Belton was behind them; Will, +glancing into his cousin's face, saw that her eyes were laden with +tears, and refrained from speaking. As they passed the ugly red-brick +rectory. house, Clara for a moment put her face to the window, and then +withdrew it. 'There is nobody there,' she said, 'who will care to see +me. Considering that I have lived here all my life, is it not odd that +there should be so few to bid me good-bye?' + +'People do not like to put themselves forward on such occasions,' said +Will. + +'People there are no people. No one ever had so few to care for them as +I have. And now But never mind; I mean to do very well, and I shall do +very well.' Belton would not take advantage of her in her sadness, and +they reached the station at Taunton almost without another word. + +Of course they had to wait there for half an hour, and of course the +waiting was very tedious. To Will it was very tedious indeed, as he was +not by nature good at waiting. To Clara, who on this occasion sat +perfectly still in the waiting-room, with her toes on the fender before +the fire, the evil of the occasion was not so severe. 'The man would +take two hours for the journey, though I told him an hour and a half +would be enough,' said Will, querulously. + +'But we might have had an accident.' + +'An accident! What accident? People don't have accidents every day.' + +At last the train came and they started. Clara, though she had with her +her best friend I may almost say the friend whom in the world she loved +the best did not have an agreeable journey. Belton would not talk; but +as he made no attempt at reading, Clara did not like to have recourse +to the book which she had in her travelling-bag. He sat opposite to +her, opening the window and shutting it as he thought she might like +it, but looking wretched and forlorn. At Swindon he brightened up for a +moment under the excitement of getting her something to eat, but that +relaxation lasted only for a few minutes. Alter that he relapsed again +into silence till the train had passed Slough and he knew that in +another half-hour they would be in London. Then he leant over her and +spoke. + +'This will probably be the last opportunity I shall have of saying a +few words to you alone.' + +'I don't know that at all, Will.' + +'It will be the last for a long time at any rate. And as I have got +something to say, I might as well say it now. I have thought a great +deal about the property the Belton estate, I mean; and I don't intend +to take it as mine.' + +'That is sheer nonsense, Will. You must take it, as it is yours, and +can't belong to any one else.' + +'I have thought it over, and I am quite sure that all the business of +the entail was wrong radically wrong from first to last. You are to +understand that my special regard for you has nothing whatever to do +with it. I should do the same thing if I felt that I hated you.' + +'Don't hate me, Will!' + +'You know what I mean. I think the entail was all wrong, and I shan't +take advantage of it. It's not common sense that I should have +everything because of poor Charley's misfortune.' + +'But it seems to me that it does not depend upon you or upon me, or +upon anybody. It is yours by law, you know.' + +'And therefore it won't be sufficient for me to give it up without +making it yours by law also which I intend to do. I shall stay in town +tomorrow and give instructions to Mr Green. I have thought it proper to +tell you this now, in order that you may mention it to Captain Aylmer.' + +They were leaning over in the carriage one towards the other; her face +had been slightly turned away from him; but now she slowly raised her +eyes till they met his, and looking into the depth of them, and seeing +there all his love and all his suffering, and the great nobility of his +nature, her heart melted within her. Gradually, as her tears came would +come, in spite of all her constraint, she again turned her face towards +the window. 'I can't talk now,' she said, 'indeed I can't.' + +'There is no need for any more talking about it,' be replied. And there +was no more talking between them, on that subject or on any other, till +the tickets bad been taken and the train was again in motion. Then he +referred to it again for a moment. 'You will tell Captain Aylmer, my +dear.' + +'I will tell him what you say, that he may know your generosity. But of +course he will agree with me that no such offer can be accepted. It is +quite quite quite out of the question.' + +'You had better tell him and say nothing more; or you can ask him to +see Mr Green after tomorrow. He, as a man who understands business, +will know that this arrangement must he made, if I choose to make it. +Come; here we are. Porter, a four-wheeled cab. Do you go with him, and +I'll look after the luggage.' + +Clara, as she got into the cab, felt that she ought to have been more +stout in her resistance to his offer. But it would be better, perhaps, +that she should write to him from Aylmer Park, and get Frederic to +write also. + + +CHAPTER XXIV + +THE GREAT NORTHERN RAILWAY HOTEL + +At the door of the hotel of the Great Northern Railway Station they +met Captain Aylmer. Rooms had been taken there because they were to +start by an early train on that line in the morning, and Captain Aylmer +had undertaken to order dinner. There was nothing particular in the +meeting to make it unpleasant to our friend Will. The fortunate rival +could do no more in the hall of the inn than give his hand to his +affianced bride, as he might do to any other lady, and then suggest to +her that she should go upstairs and see her room. When he had done +this, he also offered his hand to Belton; and Will, though he would +almost sooner have out off his own, was obliged to take it. In a few +minutes the two men were standing alone together in the sitting-room. + +'I suppose you found it cold coming up?' said the captain. + +'Not particularly,' said Will. + +'It's rather a long journey from Belton.' + +'Not very long,' said Will. + +'Not for you, perhaps; but Miss Amedroz must be tired.' + +Belton was angry at having his cousin called Miss Amedroz feeling that +the reserve of the name was intended to keep him at a distance. But he +would have been equally angry had Aylmer called her Clara. + +'My cousin,' said Will, stoutly, 'is able to bear slight fatigue of +that kind without suffering.' + +'I didn't suppose she suffered; but journeys are always tedious, +especially where there is so much roadwork. I believe you are twenty +miles from the station?' + +'Belton Castle is something over twenty miles from Taunton.' + +'We are seven from our station at Aylmer Park, and we think that a +great deal.' + +'I'm more than that at Plaistow,' said Will. + +'Oh, indeed. Plaistow is in Norfolk, I believe?' + +'Yes Plaistow is in Norfolk.' + +'I suppose you'll leave it now and go into Somersetshire,' suggested +Captain Aylmer. + +'Certainly not. Why should I leave it?' + +'I thought, perhaps as Belton Castle is now your own' + +'Plaistow Hall is more my own than Belton Castle, if that signifies +anything which it doesn't.' This he said in an angry tone, which, as he +became conscious of it, he tried to rectify. 'I've a deal of stock and +all that sort of thing at Plaistow, and couldn't very well leave it, +even if I wished it,' he said. + +'You've pretty good shooting too, I suppose,' said Aylmer. + +'As far as partridges go I'll back it against most properties of the +same extent in any county.' + +'I'm too busy a man myself,' said the captain, 'to do much at +partridges. We think more of pheasants down with us.' + +'I dare say.' + +'But a Norfolk man like you is of course keen about birds.' + +'We are obliged to put up with what we've got, you know not but what I +believe there is a better general head of game in Norfolk than in any +other county in England.' + +'That's what makes your hunting rather poor.' + +'Our hunting poor! Why do you say it's poor?' + +'So many of you are against preserving foxes.' + +'I'll tell you what, Captain Aylmer; I don't know what pack you hunt +with, but I'll bet you a five- pound note that we killed more foxes +last year than you did that is, taking three days a week. Nine- +and-twenty brace and a half in a short season I don't call poor at all.' + +Captain Aylmer saw that the man was waxing angry, and made no further +allusion either to the glories or deficiencies of Norfolk. As he could +think of no other subject on which to speak at the spur of the moment, +he sat himself down and took up a paper; Belton took up another, and so +they remained till Clara made her appearance. That Captain Aylmer read +his paper is probable enough. He was not a man easily disconcerted, and +there was nothing in his present position to disconcert him. But I feel +sure that Will Belton did not read a word. He was angry with this +rival, whom he hated, and was angry with himself for showing his anger. +He would have wished to appear to the best advantage before this man, +or rather before Clara in this man's presence; and he knew that in +Clara's absence be was making such a fool of himself that he would be +unable to recover his prestige. He had serious thoughts within his own +breast whether it would not be as well for him to get up from his seat +and give Captain Aylmer a thoroughly good thrashing: 'Drop into him and +punch his head,' as he himself would have expressed it. For the moment +such an exercise would give him immense gratification. The final +results would, no doubt, be disastrous; but then, all future results, +as far as he could see them, were laden with disaster. He was still +thinking of this, eyeing the man from under the newspaper, and telling +himself that the feat would probably be too easy to afford much +enjoyment, when Clara re-entered the room. Then he got up, acting on +the spur of the moment got up quickly and suddenly, and began to bid +her adieu. + +'But you are going to dine here, Will?' she said. + +'No; I think not.' + +'You promised you would. You told me you had nothing to do to-night.' +Then she turned to Captain Aylmer. 'You expect my cousin to dine with +us today?' + +'I ordered dinner for three,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'Oh, very well; it's all the same thing to me,' said Will. + +'And to me,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'It's not all the same thing to me,' said Clara. 'I don't know when I +may see my cousin again. I should think it very bad of you, Will, if +you went away this evening.' + +'I'll go out just for half an hour,' said he, 'and be back to dinner.' + +'We dine at seven,' said the captain. Then Belton took his hat and left +the two lovers together. + +'Your cousin seems to be a rather surly sort of gentleman.' Those were +the first words which Captain Aylmer spoke when he was alone with the +lady of his love. Nor was he demonstrative of his affection by any of +the usual signs of regard which are permitted to accepted lovers. He +did not offer to kiss her, nor did he attempt to take her hand with a +warmer pressure now that he was alone with her. He probably might have +gone through some such ceremony had he first met Clara in a position +propitious to such purposes; but, as it was, he had been a little +ruffled by Will Belton's want of good breeding, and had probably +forgotten that any such privileges might have been his. I wonder +whether any remembrance flashed across Clara's mind at this moment of +her Cousin Will's great iniquity in the sitting-room at Belton Castle. +She thought of it very often, and may possibly have thought of it now. + +'I don't believe that he is surly, Frederic,' she said. 'He may, +perhaps, be out of humour.' + +'And why should he be out of humour with me? I only suggested to him +that it might suit him to live at Belton instead of at that farm of +his, down in Norfolk.' + +'He is very fond of Plaistow, I fancy.' + +'But that's no reason why he should be cross with me. I don't envy him +his taste, that's all. If he can't understand that he, with his name, +ought to live on the family property which belongs to him, it isn't +likely that anything that I can say will open his eyes upon the +subject.' + +'The truth is, Frederic, he has some romantic notion about the Belton +estate.' + +'What romantic notion?' + +'He thinks it should not be his at all.' + +'Whose then? Who does he think should have it?' + +'Of course there can be nothing in it, you know; of course, it's all +nonsense.' + +'But what is his idea? Who does he think should be the owner? + +'He means that it should be mine. But of course, Frederic, it is all +nonsense; we know that.' + +It did not seem to be quite clear at the moment that Frederic had +altogether made up his mind upon the subject. As he heard those tidings +from Clara there came across his face a puzzled, dubious look, as +though he did not quite understand the proposition which had been +suggested to him as though some consideration were wanted before he +could take the idea home to himself and digest it, so as to enable +himself to express an opinion upon it. There might be something in it +some show of reason which did not make itself clear to Clara's feminine +mind. 'I have never known what was the precise nature of your father's +marriage settlement,' said he. + +Then Clara began to explain with exceeding eagerness that there was no +question as to the accuracy of the settlement, or the legality of the +entail that indeed there was no question as to anything. Her Cousin +Will was romantic, and that was the end of it. Of course quite as a +matter of course, this romance would lead to nothing; and she had only +mentioned the subject now to show that her cousin's mind might possibly +be disturbed when the question of his future residence was raised. 'I +quite feel with you,' she said, 'that it will be much nicer that he +should live at the old family place; but just at present I do not speak +about it.' + +'If he is thinking of not claiming Belton, it is quite another thing,' +said Aylmer. + +'It is his without any claiming,' said Clara. + +'Ah, well; it will all be settled before long,' said Aylmer. + +'It is settled already,' said Clara. + +At seven the three met again, and when the dinner was on the table +there was some little trouble as to the helping of the fish. Which of +the two men should take the lead on the occasion? But Clara decided the +question by asking her cousin to make himself useful. There can be +little doubt but that Captain Aylmer would have distributed the mutton +chops with much more grace, and have carved the roast fowl with much +more skill; but it suited Clara that Will should have the employment, +and Will did the work. Captain Aylmer, throughout the dinner, +endeavoured to be complaisant, and Clara exerted herself to talk as +though all matters around them were easy. Will, too, made his effort, +every now and then speaking a word, and restraining himself from +snapping at his rival; but the restraint was in itself evident, and +there were symptoms throughout the dinner that the untamed man was +longing to fly at the throat of the man that was tamed. + +'Is it supposed that I ought to go away for a little while?' said +Clara, as soon as she had drunk her own glass of wine. + +'Oh dear, no,' said the captain. 'We'll have a cup of coffee that is, +if Mr Belton likes it.' + +'It's all the same to me,' said Will. + +'But won't you have some more wine?' Clara asked. + +'No more for me,' said Captain Aylmer. 'Perhaps Mr Belton' + +'Who; I? No; I don't want any more wine,' said Will; and then they were +all silent. + +It was very hard upon Clara. After a while the coffee came, and even +that was felt to be a comfort. Though there was no pouring out to be +done, no actual employment enacted, still the manoeuvring of the cups +created a diversion. 'If either of you like to smoke,' she said, 'I +shan't mind it in the least.' But neither of them would smoke. 'At what +hour shall we get to Aylmer Park tomorrow?' Clara asked. + +'At half-past four,' said the captain. + +'Oh, indeed so early as that.' What was she to say next? Will, who had +not touched his coffee, and who was sitting stiffly at the table as +though he were bound in duty not to move, was becoming more and more +grim every moment. She almost repented that she had asked him to remain +with them. Certainly there was no comfort in his company, either to +them or to himself. 'How long shall you remain in town, Will, before +you go down to Plaistow?' she asked. + +'One day,' he replied. + +'Give my kind love my very kindest love to Mary. I wish I knew her. I +wish I could think that I might soon know her.' + +'You'll never know her,' said Belton. The tone of his voice was +actually savage as he spoke so much so that Aylmer turned in his chair +to look at him, and Clara did not dare to answer him. But now that he +had been made to speak, it seemed that he was determined to persevere. +'How should you ever know her? Nothing will ever bring you into +Norfolk, and nothing will ever take her out of it.' + +'I don't quite see why either of those assertions should be made.' + +'Nevertheless they're both true. Had you ever meant to come to Norfolk +you would have come now.' He had not even asked her to come, having +arranged with his sister that in their existing circumstances any such +asking would not be a kindness; and yet he rebuked her now for not +coming! + +'My mother is very anxious that Miss Amedroz should pay her a visit at +Aylmer Park,' said the captain. + +'And she's going to Aylmer Park, so your mother's anxiety need not +disturb her any longer.' + +'Come, Will, don't be out of temper with us,' said Clara. 'It is our +last night together. We, who are so dear to each other, ought not to +quarrel.' + +'I'm not quarrelling with you, said he. + +'I can hardly suppose that Mr Belton wants to quarrel with me,' said +Captain Aylmer, smiling. + +'I'm sure he does not,' said Clara. Belton sat silent, with his eyes +fixed upon the table, and with a dark frown upon his brow. He did long +to quarrel with Captain Aylmer; but was still anxious, if it might be +possible, to save himself from what he knew would be a transgression. + +'To use a phrase common with us down in Yorkshire,' said Aylmer, 'I +should say that Mr Belton had got out of bed the wrong side this +morning.' + +'What the d does it matter to you, sir, what side I got out of bed?' +said Will, clenching both his fists. Oh if he might have only been +allowed to have a round of five minutes with Aylmer, he would have been +restored to good temper for that night, let the subsequent results have +been what they might. He moved his feet impatiently on the floor, as +though he were longing to kick something; and then he pushed his +coffee-cup away from him, upsetting half the contents upon the table, +and knocking down a wineglass, which was broken. + +'Will Will!' said Clara, looking at him with imploring eyes. + +'Then he shouldn't talk to me about getting out of bed on the wrong +side; I didn't say anything to him.' + +'It is unkind of you, Will, to quarrel with Captain Aylmer because he +is my friend.' + +'I don't want to quarrel with him; or, rather, as I won't quarrel with +him because you don't wish it, I'll go away. I can't do more than that. +I didn't want to dine with him here. There's my cousin Clara, Captain +Aylmer; I love her better than all the world besides. Love her! It +seems to me that there's nothing else in the world for me to love. I'd +give my heart for her this minute. All that I have in the world is +hers. Oh love her! I don't believe that it's in you to know what I mean +when I say that I love her! She tells me that he's going to be your +wife. You can't suppose that I can be very comfortable under those +circumstances or that I can be very fond of you. I'm not very fond of +you. Now I'll go away, and then I shan't trouble you any more. But look +here if ever you should ill-treat her, whether you marry her or whether +you don't, I'll crush every bone in your skin.' Having so spoken he +went to the door, but stopped himself before he left the room. +'Good-bye, Clara. I've got a word or two more to say to you, but I'll +write you a line down-stairs. You can show it to him if you please. +It'll only be about business. Good-night.' + +She had got up and followed him to the door, and he had taken her by +the hand. 'You shouldn't let your passion get the better of you in this +way,' she said; but the tone of her voice was very soft, and her eyes +were full of love. + +'I suppose not,' said he. + +'I can forgive him,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'D your forgiveness,' said Will Belton. Then Clara dropped the hand +and started back, and the door was shut, and Will Belton was gone. + +'Your cousin seems to be a nice sort of young man,' said Aylmer. + +'Cannot you understand it all, Frederic, and pardon him?' + +'I can pardon him easily enough; but one doesn't like men who are given +to threatening. He's not the sort of man that I took him to be.' + +'Upon my word I think he's as nearly perfect as a man can be.' + +'Then you like men to swear at you, and to swagger like Bobadils and to +misbehave themselves, so that one has to blush for them if a servant +chances to hear them. Do you really think that he has conducted himself +today like a gentleman?' + +'I know that he is a gentleman,' said Clara. + +'I must confess I have no reason for supposing him to be so but your +assurance.' + +'And I hope that is sufficient, Frederic.' + +Captain Aylmer did not answer her at once, but sat for awhile silent, +considering what he would say. Clara, who understood his moods, knew +that he did not mean to drop the subject, and resolved that she would +defend her cousin, let Captain Aylmer attack him as he would. + +'Upon my word, I hardly know what to say about it,' said Aylmer. + +'Suppose then, that we say nothing more. Will not that be best?' + +'No, Clara. I cannot now let the matter pass by in that way. You have +asked me whether I do not think Mr Belton to be a gentleman, and I must +say that I doubt it. Pray hear me out before you answer me. I do not +want to be harder upon him than I can help; and I would have borne, and +I did bear from him, a great deal in silence. But he said that to me +which I cannot allow to pass without notice. He had the bad taste to +speak to me of his his regard for you.' + +'I cannot see what harm he did by that except to himself.' + +'I believe that it is understood among gentlemen that one man never +speaks to another man about the lady the other man means to marry, +unless they are very intimate friends indeed. What I mean is, that if +Mr Belton had understood how gentlemen live together he would never +have said anything to me about his affection for you. He should at any +rate have supposed me to be ignorant of it. There is something in the +very idea of his doing so that is in the highest degree in-delicate. I +wonder, Clara, that you do not see this yourself.' + +'I think he was indiscreet.' + +'Indiscreet! Indiscreet is not the word for such conduct. I must say, +that as far as my opinion goes, it was ungentlemanlike.' + +'I don't believe that there is a nobler-minded gentleman in all London +than my Cousin Will.' + +'Perhaps it gratified you to hear from him the assurance of his love?' +said Captain Aylmer. + +'If it is your wish to insult me, Frederic, I will leave you'. + +'It is my wish to make you understand that your judgment has been +wrong.' + +'That is simply a matter of opinion, and as I do not wish to argue with +you about it, I had better go. At any rate I am very tired. Goodnight, +Frederic.' He then told her what arrangements he had made for the +morrow, and what hour she would be called, and when she would have her +breakfast. After that he let her go without making any further allusion +to Will Belton. + +It must be admitted that the meeting between the lovers had not been +auspicious; and it must be acknowledged, also, that Will Belton had +behaved very badly. I am not aware of the existence of that special +understanding among gentlemen in respect to the ladies they are going +to marry which Captain Aylmer so eloquently described; but, +nevertheless, I must confess that Belton would have done better had he +kept his feelings to himself. And when he talked of crushing his +rival's bones, he laid himself justly open to severe censure. But, for +all that, he was no Bobadil. He was angry, sore, and miserable; and in +his anger, soreness, and misery, he had allowed himself to be carried +away. He felt very keenly his own folly, even as he was leaving the +room, and as he made his way out of the hotel he hated himself for his +own braggadocio. 'I wish some one would crush my bones,' he said to +himself almost audibly. 'No one ever deserved to be crushed better than +I do.' + +Clara, when she got to her own room, was very serious and very sad. +What was to be the end of it all? This had been her first meeting after +her father's death with the man whom she had promised to marry; indeed, +it was the first meeting after her promise had been given; and they had +only met to quarrel. There had been no word of love spoken between +them. She had parted from him now almost in anger, without the +slightest expression of confidence between them almost as those part +who are constrained by circumstances to be together, but who yet hate +each other and know that they hate each other. Was there in truth any +love between him and her? And if there was none, could there be any +advantage, any good either to him or to her, in this journey of hers to +Aylmer Park? Would it not be better that she should send for him and +tell him that they were not suited for each other, and that thus she +should escape from all the terrors of Lady Aylmer? As she thought of +this, she could not but think of Will Belton also. Not a gentleman! If +Will Belton was not a gentleman, she desired to know nothing further of +gentlemen. Women are so good and kind that those whom they love they +love almost the more when they commit offences, because of the offences +so committed. Will Belton had been guilty of great offences of offences +for which Clara was pre. pared to lecture him in the gravest manner +should opportunities for such lectures ever come but I think that they +had increased her regard for him rather than diminished it. She could +not, however, make up her mind to send for Captain Aylmer, and when she +went to bed she had resolved that the visit to Yorkshire must be made. + +Before she left the room the following morning, a letter was brought to +her from her cousin, which had been written that morning. She asked the +maid to inquire for him, and sent down word to him that if he were in +the house she specially wished to see him; but the tidings came from +the hall porter that he had gone out very early, and had expressly said +that he should not breakfast at the inn. + +The letter was as follows: + + + +'Dear Clara, + +I meant to have handed to you the enclosed in person, but I lost my +temper last night like a fool as I am and so I couldn't do it. You need +not have any scruple about the money which I send œ100 in ten ten-pound +notes as it is your own. There is the rent due up to your father's +death, which is more than what I now enclose, and there will be a great +many other items, as to all of which you shall have a proper account. +When you want more, you had better draw on me, till things are settled. +It shall all be done as soon as possible. It would not be comfortable +for you to go away without money of your own, and I suppose you would +not wish that he should pay for your journeys and things before you are +married. + +Of course I made a fool of myself yesterday. I believe that I usually +do. It is not any good my begging your pardon, for I don't suppose I +shall ever trouble you any more. Good-bye, and God bless you. + +Your affectionate Cousin, + +WILLIAM BELTON. + +It was a bad day for me when I made up my mind to go to Belton Castle +last summer.' + +Clara, when she had read the letter, sat down and cried, holding the +bundle of notes in her hand. What would she do with them? Should she +send them back? Oh no she would do nothing to displease him, or to make +him think that she was angry with him. Besides, she had none of that +dislike to taking his money which she had felt as to receiving money +from Captain Aylmer. He had said that she would be his sister, and she +would take from him any assistance that a sister might properly take +from a brother. + +She went down-stairs and met Captain Aylmer in the sitting-room. He +stepped up to her as soon as the door was closed, and she could at once +see that he had determined to forget the unpleasantness of the previous +evening. He stepped up to her, and gracefully taking her by one hand, +and passing the other behind her waist, saluted her in a becoming and +appropriate manner. She did not like it. She especially disliked it, +believing in her heart of hearts that she would never become the wife +of this man whom she had professed to love and whom she really had once +loved. But she could only bear it. And, to say the truth, there was not +much suffering of that kind to be borne. + +Their journey down to Yorkshire was very prosperous. He maintained his +good humour throughout the day, and never once said a word about Will +Belton. Nor did he say a word about Mrs Askerton. 'Do your best to +please my mother, Clara,' he said, as they were driving up from the +park lodges to the house. This was fair enough, and she therefore +promised him that she would do her best. + + +CHAPTER XXV + +MISS AMEDROZ HAS SOME HASHED CHICKEN + +Clara felt herself to be a coward as the Aylmer Park carriage, which +had been sent to meet her at the station, was drawn up at Sir Anthony +Aylmer's door. She had made up her mind that she would not bow down to +Lady Aylmer, and yet she was afraid of the woman. As she got out of the +carriage, she looked up, expecting to see her in the hall; but Lady +Aylmer was too accurately acquainted with the weights and measures of +society for any such movement as that. Had her son brought Lady Emily +to the house as his future bride, Lady Aylmer would probably have been +in the hall when the arrival took place; and had Clara possessed ten +thousand pounds of her own, she would probably have been met at the +drawing-room door; but as she had neither money nor title as she in +fact brought with her no advantages of any sort Lady Aylmer was found +stitching a bit of worsted, as though she had expected no one to come +to her. And Belinda Aylmer was stitching also by special order from her +mother. The reader will remember that Lady Aylmer was not without +strong hope that the engagement might even yet be broken off. Snubbing, +she thought, might probably be efficacious to this purpose, and so +Clara was to be snubbed. + +Clara, who had just promised to do her best to gain Lady Aylmer's +opinion, and who desired to be in some way true to her promise, though +she thoroughly believed that her labour would be in vain, put on her +pleasantest smile as she entered the room. Belinda, under the pressure +of the circumstances, forgetting somewhat of her mother's injunctions, +hurried to the door to welcome the stranger. Lady Aylmer kept her +chair, and even maintained her stitch, till Clara was half across the +room. Then she got up, and with great mastery over her voice, made her +little speech. + +'We are delighted to see you, Miss Amedroz,' she said, putting out her +hand of which Clara, however, felt no more than the finger. + +'Quite delighted,' said Belinda, yielding a fuller grasp. Then there +were affectionate greetings between Frederic and his mother and +Frederic and his sister, during which Clara stood by, ill at ease. +Captain Aylmer said not a word as to the footing on which his future +wife had come to his father's house. He did not ask his mother to +receive her as another daughter, or his sister to take his Clara to her +heart as a sister. There had been no word spoken of recognized +intimacy. Clara knew that the Aylmers were cold people. She had learned +as much as that from Captain Aylmer's words to herself, and from his +own manner. But she had not expected to be so frozen by them as was the +case with her now. In ten minutes she was sitting down with her bonnet +still on, and Lady Aylmer was again at her stitches. + +'Shall I show you your room?' said Belinda. + +'Wait a moment, my dear,' said Lady Aylmer. 'Frederic has gone to see +if Sir Anthony is in his study.' + +Sir Anthony was found in his study, and now made his appearance. + +'So this is Clara Amedroz,' he said. 'My dear, you are welcome to +Aylmer Park.' This was so much better, that the kindness expressed +though there was nothing special in it brought a tear into Clara's eye, +and almost made her love Sir Anthony. + +'By the by, Sir Anthony, have you seen Darvel? Darvel was wanting to +see you especially about Nuggins. Nuggins says that he'll take the +bullocks now.' This was said by Lady Aylmer, and was skilfully arranged +by her to put a stop to anything like enthusiasm on the part of Sir +Anthony. Clara Amedroz had been invited to Aylmer Park, and was to be +entertained there, but it would not be expedient that she should be +made to think that anybody was particularly glad to see her, or that +the family was at all proud of the proposed connexion. Within five +minutes after this she was up in her room, and had received from +Belinda tenders of assistance as to her lady's maid. Both the mother +and daughter had been anxious to learn whether Clara would bring her +own maid. Lady Aylmer, thinking that she would do so, had already +blamed her for extravagance. 'Of course Fred will have to pay for the +journey and all the rest of it,' she had said. But as soon as she had +perceived that Clara had come without a servant, she had perceived that +any young woman who travelled in that way must be unfit to be mated +with her son. Clara, whose intelligence in such matters was sharp +enough, assured Belinda that she wanted no assistance. 'I dare say you +think it very odd,' she said, 'but I really can dress myself.' And when +the maid did come to unpack the things, Clara would have sent her away +at once had she been able. But the maid, who was not a young woman, was +obdurate. 'Oh no, miss; my lady wouldn't be pleased. If you please, +miss, I'll do it.' And so the things were unpacked. + +Clara was told that they dined at half-past seven, and she remained +alone in her room till dinner- time, although it had not yet struck +five when she had gone upstairs. The maid had brought her up a cup of +tea, and she seated herself at her fire, turning over in her mind the +different members of the household in which she found herself. It would +never do. She told herself over and over again that it would never come +to pass that that woman should be her mother-in-law, or that that other +woman should be her sister. It was manifest to her that she was +distasteful to them; and she had not lost a moment in assuring herself +that they were distasteful to her. What purpose could it answer that +she should strive not to like them, for no such strife was possible but +to appear to like them? The whole place and everything about it was +antipathetic to her. Would it not be simply honest to Captain Aylmer +that she should tell him so at once, and go away? Then she remembered +that Frederic had not spoken to her a single word since she had been +under his father's roof. What sort of welcome would have been accorded +to her had she chosen to go down to Plaistow Hall? + +At half-past seven she made her way by herself downstairs. In this +there was some difficulty, as she remembered nothing of the rooms +below, and she could not at first find a servant. But a man at last did +come to her in the hall, and by him she was shown into the +drawing-room. Here she was alone for a few minutes. As she looked about +her, she thought that no room she had ever seen had less of the comfort +of habitation. It was not here that she had met Lady Aylmer before +dinner. There had, at any rate, been in that other room work things, +and the look of life which life gives to a room. But here there was no +life. The furniture was all in its place, and everything was cold and +grand and comfortless. They were making company of her at Aylmer Park! + +Clara was intelligent in such matters, and understood it all thoroughly. + +Lady Aylmer was the first person to come to her. 'I hope my maid has +been with you,' said she to which Clara muttered something intended for +thanks. 'You'll find Richards a very clever woman, and quite a proper +person.' + +'I don't at all doubt that.' + +'She has been here a good many years, and has perhaps little ways of +her own but she means to be obliging.' + +'I shall give her very little trouble, Lady Aylmer. I am used to dress +myself.' I am afraid this was not exactly true as to Clara's past +habits; but she could dress herself, and intended to do so in future, +and in this way justified the assertion to herself. + +'You had better let Richards come to you, my dear, while you are here,' +said Lady Aylmer, with a slight smile on her countenance which outraged +Clara more even than the words. 'We like to see young ladies nicely +dressed here.' To be told that she was to be nicely dressed because she +was at Aylmer Park! Her whole heart was already up in rebellion. Do her +best to please Lady Aylmer! It would be utterly impossible to her to +make any attempt whatever in that direction. There was something in her +ladyship's eye a certain mixture of cunning, and power, and hardness in +the slight smile that would gather round her mouth, by which Clara was +revolted. She already understood much of Lady Aylmer, but in one thing +she was mistaken. She thought that she saw simply the natural woman; +but she did, in truth, see the woman specially armed with an intention +of being disagreeable, made up to give offence, and prepared to create +dislike and enmity. At the present moment nothing further was said, as +Captain Aylmer entered the room, and his mother immediately began to +talk to him in whispers. + +The first two days of Clara's sojourn at Aylmer Park passed by without +the occurrence of anything that was remarkable. That which most +surprised and annoyed her, as regarded her own position, was the +coldness of all the people around her, as connected with the actual +fact of her engagement. Sir Anthony was very courteous to her, but had +never as yet once alluded to the fact that she was to become one of his +family as his daughter-in-law. Lady Aylmer called her Miss Amedroz +using the name with a peculiar emphasis, as though determined to show +that Miss Amedroz was to be Miss Amedroz as far as any one at Aylmer +Park was concerned and treated her almost as though her presence in the +house was intrusive. Belinda was as cold as her mother in her mother's +presence; but when alone with Clara would thaw a little. She, in her +difficulty, studiously avoided calling the new-corner by any name at +all. As to Captain Aylmer, it was manifest to Clara that he was +suffering almost more than she suffered herself. His position was so +painful that she absolutely pitied him for the misery to which he was +subjected by his own mother. They still called each other Frederic and +Clara, and that was the only sign of special friendship which +manifested itself between them. And Clara, though she pitied him, could +not but learn to despise him. She had hitherto given him credit at any +rate for a will of his own. She had believed him to be a man able to +act in accordance with the dictates of his own conscience. But now she +perceived him to be so subject to his mother that he did not dare to +call his heart his own. What was to be the end of it all? And if there +could only be one end, would it not be well that that end should be +reached at once, so that she might escape from her purgatory? + +But on the afternoon of the third day there seemed to have come a +change over Lady Aylmer. At lunch she was especially civil civil to the +extent of picking out herself for Clara, with her own fork, the breast +of a hashed fowl from a dish that was before her. This she did with +considerable care I may say, with a show of care; and then, though she +did not absolutely call Clara by her Christian name, she did call her +'my dear'. Clara saw it all, and felt that the usual placidity of the +afternoon would be broken by some special event. At three o'clock, when +the carriage as usual came to the door, Belinda was out of the way, and +Clara was made to understand that she and Lady Aylmer were to be driven +out without any other companion. 'Belinda is a little busy, my dear. +So, if you don't mind, we'll go alone.' Clara of course assented, and +got into the carriage with a conviction that now she would hear her +fate. She was rather inclined to think that Lady Aylmer was about to +tell her that she had failed in obtaining the approbation of Aylmer +Park, and that she must be returned as goods of a description inferior +to the order given. If such were the case, the breast of the chicken +had no doubt been administered as consolation. Clara had endeavoured, +since she had been at Aylmer Park, to investigate her own feelings in +reference to Captain Aylmer; but had failed, and knew that she had +failed. She wished to think that she loved him, as she could not endure +the thought of having accepted a man whom she did not love. And she +told herself that he bad done nothing to forfeit her love. A woman who +really loves will hardly allow that her love should be forfeited by any +fault. True love breeds forgiveness for all faults. And, after all, of +what fault had Captain Aylmer been guilty? He had preached to her out +of his mother's mouth. That had been all! She had first accepted him, +and then rejected him, and then accepted him again; and now she would +fain be firm, if firmness were only possible to her. Nevertheless, if +she were told that she was to be returned as inferior, she would hold +up her head under such disgrace as best she might, and would not let +the tidings break her heart. + +'My dear,' said Lady Aylmer, as soon as the trotting horses and rolling +wheels made noise enough to prevent her words from reaching the +servants on the box. 'I want to say a few words to you and I think that +this will be a good opportunity.' + +'A very good opportunity,' said Clara. + +'Of course, my dear, you are aware that I have heard of something going +on between you and my son Frederic.' Now that Lady Aylmer had taught +herself to call Clara 'my dear', it seemed that she could hardly call +her so often enough. + +'Of course I know that Captain Aylmer has told you of our engagement. +But for that, I should not be here.' + +'I don't know how that might be,' said Lady Aylmer; 'but at any rate, +my dear, he has told me that since the day of my sister's death there +has been in point of fact, a sort of engagement.' + +'I don't think Captain Aylmer has spoken of it in that way.' + +'In what way? Of course he has not said a word that was not nice and +lover-like, and all that sort of thing. I believe he would have done +anything in the world that his aunt had told him; and as to his' + +'Lady Aylmer!' said Clara, feeling that her voice was almost trembling +with anger,' I am sure you cannot intend to be unkind to me?' + +'Certainly not.' + +'Or to insult me?' + +'Insult you, my dear! You should not use such strong words, my dear; +indeed you should not. Nothing of the kind is near my thoughts.' + +'If you disapprove of my marrying your son, tell me so at once, and I +shall know what to do.' + +'It depends, my dear it depends on circumstances, and that is just why +I want to speak to you.' + +'Then tell me the circumstances though indeed I think it would have +been better if they could have been told to me by Captain Aylmer +himself.' + +'There, my dear, you must allow me to judge. As a mother, of course I +am anxious for my son. Now Frederic is a poor man. Considering the kind +of society in which he has to live, and the position which he must +maintain as a Member of Parliament, he is a very poor man.' + +This was an argument which Clara certainly had not expected that any of +the Aylmer family would condescend to use. She had always regarded +Captain Aylmer as a rich man since he had inherited Mrs Winterfield's +property, knowing that previously to that he had been able to live in +London as rich men usually do live. 'Is he?' said she. 'It may seem odd +to you, Lady Aylmer, but I do not think that a word has ever passed +between me and your son as to the amount of his income.' + +'Not odd at all, my dear. Young ladies are always thoughtless about +those things, and when they are looking to be married think that money +will come out of the skies.' + +'If you mean that I have been looking to be married' + +'Well expecting. I suppose you have been expecting it.' Then she +paused; but as Clara said nothing, she went on. 'Of course, Frederic +has got my sister's moiety of the Perivale property about eight hundred +a year, or something of that sort, when all deductions are made. He +will have the moiety when I die, and if you and he can be satisfied to +wait for that event which may not perhaps be very long '. Then there +was another pause, indicative of the melancholy natural to such a +suggestion, during which Clara looked at Lady Aylmer, and made up her +mind that her ladyship would live for the next twenty-five years at +least. 'If you can wait for that,' she continued, it may be all very +well, and though you will be poor people, in Frederic's rank of life, +you will be able to live.' + +'That will be so far fortunate,' said Clara. + +'But you'll have to wait,' said Lady Aylmer, turning upon her companion +almost fiercely. 'That is, you certainly will have to do so if you are +to depend upon Frederic's income alone.' + +'I have nothing of my own as he knows; absolutely nothing.' + +'That does not seem to be quite so clear,' said Lady Aylmer, speaking +now very cautiously or rather with a purpose of great caution; 'I don't +think that that is quite so clear. Frederic has been telling me that +there seems to be some sort of a doubt about the settlement of the +Belton estate.' + +'There is no sort of doubt whatsoever no shadow of a doubt. He is quite +mistaken.' + +'Don't be in such a hurry, my dear. It is not likely that you yourself +should be a very good lawyer.' + +'Lady Aylmer, I must be in a hurry lest there should be any mistake +about this. There is no question here for lawyers. Frederic must have +been misled by a word or two which I said to him with quite another +purpose. Everybody concerned knows that the Belton estate goes to my +cousin Will. My poor father was quite aware of it.' + +'That is all very well; and pray remember, my dear, that you need not +attack me in this way. I am endeavouring, if possible, to arrange the +accomplishment of your own wishes. It seems that Mr Belton himself does +not claim the property.' + +'There is no question of claiming. Because he is a man more generous +than any other person in the world romantic ally generous he has +offered to give me the property which was my father's for his lifetime; +but I do not suppose that you would wish, or that Captain Aylmer would +wish, that I should accept such an offer as that.' There was a tone in +her voice as she said this, and a glance in her eye as she turned her +face full upon her companion, which almost prevailed against Lady +Aylmer's force of character. + +'I really don't know, my dear,' said Lady Aylmer. 'You are so violent.' + +'I certainly am eager about this. No consideration on earth would +induce me to take my cousin's property from him.' + +'It always seemed to me that that entail was a most unfair proceeding.' + +'What would it signify even if it were which it was not? Papa got +certain advantages on those conditions. But what can all that matter? +It belongs to Will Belton.' + +Then there was another pause, and Clara thought that that subject was +over between them. But Lady Aylmer had not as yet completed her +purpose. Shall I tell you, my dear, what I think you ought to do?' + +'Certainly, Lady Aylmer; if you wish it.' + +'I can at any rate tell you what it would become any young lady to do +under such circumstances. I suppose you will give me credit for knowing +as much as that. Any young lady placed as you are would be recommended +by her friends if she had friends able and fit to give her advice to +put the whole matter into the hands of her natural friends and her +lawyer together. Hear me out, my dear, if you please. At least you can +do that for me, as I am taking a great deal of trouble on your behalf. +You should let Frederic see Mr Green. I understand that Mr Green was +your father's lawyer. And then Mr Green can see Mr Belton. And so the +matter can be arranged. It seems to me, from what I hear, that in this +way, and in this way only; something can be done as to the proposed +marriage. In no other way can anything be done.' + +Then Lady Aylmer had finished her argument, and throwing herself back +into the carriage, seemed to intimate that she desired no reply. She +had believed and did believe that her guest was so intent upon marrying +her son, that no struggle would be regarded as too great for the +achievement of that object. And such belief was natural on her part. +Mothers always so think of girls engaged to their sons, and so think +especially when the girls are penniless and the sons are well-to-do in +the world. But such belief, though it is natural, is sometimes wrong +and it was altogether wrong in this instance. 'Then,' said Clara, +speaking very plainly,' nothing can be done.' + +'Very well, my dear.' + +After that there was not a word said between them till the carriage was +once more within the park. Then Lady Aylmer spoke again. 'I presume you +see, my dear, that under these circumstances any thought of marriage +between you and my son must be quite out of the question at any rate +for a great many years.' + +'I will speak to Captain Aylmer about it, Lady Aylmer.' + +'Very well, my dear. So do. Of course he is his own master. But he is +my son as well, and I cannot see him sacrificed without an effort to +save him.' + +When Clara came down to dinner on that day she was again Miss Amedroz, +and she could perceive from Belinda's manner quite as plainly as from +that of her ladyship that she was to have no more tit-bits of hashed +chicken specially picked out for her by Lady Aylmer's own fork., That +evening and the two next days passed, just as had passed the two first +days, and everything was dull, cold, and uncomfortable. Twice she had +walked out with Frederic, and on each occasion had thought that he +would refer to what his mother had said; but he did not venture to +touch upon the subject. Clara more than once thought that she would do +so herself; but when the moment came she found that it was impossible. +She could not bring herself to say anything that should have had the +appearance of a desire on her part to hurry on a marriage. She could +not say to him, 'If you are too poor to be married or even if you mean +to put forward that pretence say so at once.' He still called her +Clara, and still asked her to walk with him, and still talked, when +they were alone together, in a distant cold way, of the events of their +future combined life. Would they live at Perivale? Would it be +necessary to refurnish the house? Should he keep any of the land on his +own hands? These are all interesting subjects of discussion between an +engaged man and the girl to whom he is engaged; but the man, if he wish +to make them thoroughly pleasant to the lady, should throw something of +the urgency of a determined and immediate purpose into the discussion. +Something should be said as to the actual destination of the rooms. A +day should be fixed for choosing the furnishing. Or the gentleman +should declare that he will at once buy the cows for the farm. But with +Frederic Aylmer all discussions seemed to point to some cold, distant +future, to which Clara might look forward as she did to the joys of +heaven. Will Belton would have bought the ring long since, and bespoken +the priest, and arranged every detail of the honeymoon, tour and very +probably would have stood looking into a cradle shop with longing eyes. + +At last there came an absolute necessity for some plain speaking. +Captain Aylmer declared his intention of returning to London that he +might resume his parliamentary duties. He had purposed to remain till +after Easter, but it was found to be impossible. 'I find I must go up +tomorrow,' he said at breakfast. 'They are going to make a stand about +the poor-rates, and I must be in the House in the evening.' Clara felt +herself to be very cold and uncomfortable. As things were at present +arranged, she was to be left at Aylmer Park without a friend. And how +long was she to remain there? No definite ending had been proposed for +her visit. Something must be said and something settled before Captain +Aylmer went away. + +'You will come down for Easter, of course,' said his mother. + +'Yes; I shall come down for Easter, I think or at any rate at +Whitsuntide.' + +'You must come at Easter, Frederic,' said his mother. + +'I don't doubt but I shall,' said he. + +'Miss Amedroz should lay her commands upon him,' said Sir Anthony +gallantly. + +'Nonsense, said Lady Aylmer. + +'I have commands to lay upon him all the same,' said Clara; 'and if he +will give me half an hour this morning he shall have them.' To this +Captain Aylmer, of course, assented as how could he escape from such +assent and a regular appointment was made, Captain Aylmer and Miss +Amedroz were to be closeted together in the little back drawing-room +immediately after breakfast. Clara would willingly have avoided any +such formality could she have done so compatibly with the exigencies of +the occasion. She had been obliged to assert herself when Lady Aylmer +had rebuked Sir Anthony, and then Lady Aylmer had determined that an +air of business should be assumed. Clara, as she was marched off into +the back drawing-room followed by her lover with more sheep-like gait +even than her own, felt strongly the absurdity and the wretchedness of +her position. But she was determined to go through with her purpose. + +'I am very sorry that I have to leave you so soon,' said Captain +Aylmer, as soon as the door was shut and they were alone together. + +'Perhaps it may be better as it is, Frederic; as in this way we shall +all come to understand each other, and something will be settled.' + +'Well, yes; perhaps that will be best.' + +'Your mother has told me that she disapproves of our marriage.' + +'No; not that, I think, I don't think she can have quite said that.' + +'She says that you cannot marry while she is alive that is, that you +cannot marry me because your income would not be sufficient.' + +'I certainly was speaking to her about my income.' + +'Of course I have got nothing.' Here she paused. 'Not a penny-piece in +the world that I can call my own.' + +'Oh yes, you have.' + +'Nothing. Nothing!' + +'You have your aunt's legacy?' + +'No; I have not. She left me no legacy. But as that is between you and +me, if we think of marrying each other, that would make no difference.' + +'None at all, of course.' + +'But in truth I have got nothing. Your mother said something to me +about the Belton estate; as though there was some idea that possibly it +might come to me.' + +'Your cousin himself seemed to think so.' + +'Frederic, do not let us deceive ourselves. There can be nothing of the +kind. I could not accept any portion of the property from my cousin +even though our marriage were to depend upon it.' + +'Of course it does not.' + +'But if your means are not sufficient for your wants I am quite ready +to accept that reason as being sufficient for breaking our engagement.' + +'There need be nothing of the kind.' + +'As for waiting for the death of another person for your mother's +death, I should think it very wrong. Of course, if our engagement +stands there need be no hurry; but some time should be fixed.' Clara as +she said this felt that her face and forehead were suffused with a +blush; but she was determined that it should be said, and the words +were pronounced. + +'I quite think so too,' said he. + +'I am glad that we agree. Of course, I will leave it to you to fix the +time.' + +'You do not mean at this very moment?' said Captain Aylmer, almost +aghast. + +'No; I did not mean that.' + +'I'll tell you what. I'll make a point of coming down at Easter. I +wasn't sure about it before, but now I will be. And then it shall be +settled.' + +Such was the interview; and on the next morning Captain Aylmer started +for London. Clara felt, aware that she had not done or said all that +should have been done and said; but, nevertheless, a step in the right +direction had been taken. + + +CHAPTER XXVI + +THE AYLMER PARK HASHED CHICKEN COMES TO AN END + +Easter in this year fell about the middle of April, and it still +wanted three weeks of that time when Captain Aylmer started for London. +Clara was quite alive to the fact that the next three weeks would not +be a happy time for her. She looked forward, indeed, to so much +wretchedness during this period, that the days as they came were not +quite so bad as she had expected them to be. At first Lady Aylmer said +little or nothing to her. It seemed to be agreed between them that +there was to be war, but that there was no necessity for any of the +actual operations of war during the absence of Captain Aylmer. Clara +had become Miss Amedroz again; and though an offer to be driven out in +the carriage was made to her every day, she was in general able to +escape the infliction so that at last it came to be understood that +Miss Amedroz did not like carriage exercise. She has never been used to +it,' said Lady Aylmer to her daughter. 'I suppose not,' said Belinda; +'but if she wasn't so very cross she'd enjoy it just for that reason.' +Clara sometimes walked about the grounds with Belinda, but on such +occasions there was hardly anything that could be called conversation +between them, and Frederic Aylmer's name was never mentioned. + +Captain Aylmer had not been gone many days before she received a letter +from her cousin, in which he spoke with absolute certainty of his +intention of giving up the estate. He had, he said, consulted Mr Green, +and the thing was to be done. 'But it will be better, I think,' he went +on to say, 'that I should manage it for you till after your marriage. I +simply mean what I say. You are not to suppose that I shall interfere +in any way afterwards. Of course there will be a settlement, as to +which I hope you will allow me to see Mr Green on your behalf.' In the +first draught of his letter he had inserted a sentence in which he +expressed a wish that the property should be so settled that it might +at last all come to some one bearing the name of Belton. But as he read +this over, the condition for coming from him it would be a condition +seemed to him to be ungenerous, and he expunged it. 'What does it +matter who has it,' he said to himself bitterly, 'or what he is called? +I will never set eyes upon his children, nor yet upon the place when he +has become the master of it.' Clara wrote both to her cousin and to the +lawyer, repeating her assurance with great violence, as Lady Aylmer +would have said that she would have nothing to with the Belton estate. +She told Mr Green that it would be useless for him to draw up any +deeds. 'It can't be made mine unless I choose to have it,' she said, +'and I don't choose to have it.' Then there came upon her a terrible +fear. What if she should marry Captain Aylmer after all; and what if +he, when he should be her husband, should take the property on her +behalf! Something must be done before her marriage to prevent the +possibility of such results something as to the efficacy of which for +such prevention she could feel altogether certain. + +But could she marry Captain Aylmer at all in her present mood? During +these three weeks she was unconsciously teaching herself to hope that +she might be relieved from her engagement. She did not love him. She +was becoming aware that she did not love him. She was beginning to +doubt whether, in truth, she had ever loved him. But yet she felt that +she could not, escape from her engagement if he should show himself to. +be really actuated by any fixed purpose to carry it out; nor could she +bring herself to be so weak before Lady Aylmer as to seem to yield. The +necessity of not striking her colours was forced upon her by the +warfare to which she was subjected. She was unhappy, feeling that her +present position in life was bad, and unworthy of her. She could have +brought herself almost to run away from Aylmer Park, as a boy runs away +from school, were it not that she had no place to which to run. She +could not very well make her appearance at Plaistow Hall, and say that +she had come there for shelter and succour. She could, indeed, go to +Mrs Askerton's cottage for awhile; and the more she thought of the +state of her affairs, the more did she feel sure that that would, +before long, be her destiny. It must be her destiny unless Captain +Aylmer should return at Easter with purposes so firmly fixed that even +his mother should not be able to prevail against them. + +And now, in these days, circumstances gave her a new friend or perhaps, +rather, a new acquaintance, where she certainly had looked neither for +the one or for the other. Lady Aylmer and Belinda and the carriage and +the horses used, as I have said, to go off without her. This would take +place soon after luncheon. Most of us know how the events of the day +drag themselves on tediously in such a country house as Aylmer Park -a +country house in which people neither read, nor flirt, nor gamble, nor +smoke, nor have resort to the excitement of any special amusement. +Lunch was on the table at half-past one, and the carriage was at the +door at three. Eating and drinking and the putting on of bonnets +occupied the hour and a half. From breakfast to lunch Lady Aylmer, with +her old 'front', would occupy herself with her household accounts. For +some days after Clara's arrival she put on her new 'front' before +lunch; but of late since the long conversation in the carriage the new +'front' did not appear till she came down for the carriage. According +to the theory of her life, she was never to be seen by any but her own +family in her old 'front'. At breakfast she would appear with head so +mysteriously enveloped with such a bewilderment of morning caps that +old 'front' or new 'front' was all the same. When Sir Anthony perceived +this change when he saw that Clara was treated as though she belonged +to Aylmer Park then he told himself that his son's marriage with Miss +Amedroz was to be; and, as Miss Amedroz seemed to him to be a very +pleasant young woman, he would creep out of his own quarters when the +carriage was gone and have a little chat with her being careful to +creep away again before her ladyship's return. This was Clara's new +friend. + +'Have you heard from Fred since he has been gone?' the old man asked +one day, when he had come upon Clara still seated in the parlour in +which they had lunched. He had been out, at the front of the house, +scolding the under-gardener; but the man had taken away his barrow and +left him, and Sir Anthony had found himself without employment. + +'Only a line to say that he is to be here on the sixteenth.' + +'I don't think people write so many love-letters as they did when I was +young,' said Sir Anthony. + +'To judge from the novels, I should think not. The old novels used to +be full of love-letters.' + +'Fred was never good at writing, I think.' + +'Members of Parliament have too much to do, I suppose,' said Clara. + +'But he always writes when there is any business. He's a capital man of +business. I wish I could say as much for his brother or for myself.' + +'Lady Aylmer seems to like work of that sort.' + +'So she does. She's fond of it I am not. I sometimes think that Fred +takes after her. Where was it you first knew him?' + +'At Perivale. We used, both of us, to be staying with Mrs Winterfield.' + +'Yes, yes; of course. The most natural thing in life. Well, my dear, I +can assure you that I am quite satisfied.' + +'Thank you, Sir Anthony. I'm glad to hear you say even as much as that.' + +'Of course money is very desirable for a man situated like Fred; but +he'll have enough, and if he is pleased, I am. Personally, as regards +yourself, I am more than pleased. I am indeed.' + +'It's very good of you to say so.' + +Sir Anthony looked at Clara, and his heart was softened towards her as +he saw that there was a tear in her eye. A man's heart must be very +hard when it does not become softened by the trouble of a woman with +whom he finds himself alone. 'I don't know how you and Lady Aylmer get +on together,' he said; 'but it will not be my fault if we are not +friends.' + +'I am afraid that Lady Aylmer does not like me,' said Clara. + +'Indeed. I was afraid there was something of that. But you must +remember she is hard to please. You'll find she'll come round in time.' + +'She thinks that Captain Aylmer should not marry a woman without money.' + +'That's all very well; but I don't see why Fred shouldn't please +himself, He's old enough to know what he wants.' + +'Is he, Sir Anthony? That's just the question. I'm not quite sure that +he does know what he wants.' + +'Fred doesn't know, do you mean?' + +'I don't quite think he does, sir. And the worst of it is, I am in +doubt as well as he.' + +'In doubt about marrying him?' + +'In doubt whether it will be good for him or for any of us. I don't +like to come into a family that does not desire to have me.' + +'You shouldn't think so much of Lady Aylmer as all that, my dear.' + +'But I do think a great deal of her.' + +'I shall be very glad to have you as a daughter-in-law. And as for Lady +Aylmer between you and me, my dear, you shouldn't take every word she +says so much to heart. She's the best woman in the world, and I'm sure +I'm bound to say so. But she has her temper, you know; and I don't +think you ought to give way to her altogether. There's the carriage. It +won't do you any good if we're found together talking over it all; will +it?' Then the baronet hobbled off, and Lady Aylmer, when she entered +the room, found Clara sitting alone. + +Whether it was that the wife was clever enough to extract from her +husband something of the conversation that had passed between him and +Clara, or whether she had some other source of information or whether +her conduct might proceed from other grounds, we need not inquire; but +from that afternoon Lady Aylmer's manner and words to Clara became much +less courteous than they had been before. She would always speak as +though some great iniquity was being committed, and went about the +house with a portentous frown, as though some terrible measure must +soon be taken with the object of putting an end to the present +extremely improper state of things. All this was so manifest to Clara, +that she said to Sir Anthony one day that she could no longer bear the +look of Lady Aylmer's displeasure and that she would be forced to leave +Aylmer Park before Frederic's return, unless the evil were mitigated. +She had by this time told Sir Anthony that she much doubted whether the +marriage would be possible, and that she really believed that it would +be best for all parties that the idea should be abandoned. Sir Anthony, +when he heard this, could only shake his head and hobble away. The +trouble was too deep for him to cure. + +But Clara still held on; and now there wanted but two days to Captain +Aylmer's return, when, all suddenly, there arose a terrible storm at +Aylmer Park, and then came a direct and positive quarrel between Lady +Aylmer and Clara a quarrel direct and positive and, on the part of both +ladies, very violent. + +Nothing had hitherto been said at Aylmer Park about Mrs Askerton +nothing, that is, since Clara's arrival. And Clara had been thankful +for this silence. The letter which Captain Aylmer had written to her +about Mrs Askerton will perhaps be remembered, and Clara's answer to +that letter. The Aylmer Park opinion as to this poor woman, and as to +Clara's future conduct towards the poor woman, had been expressed very +strongly; and Clara had as strongly resolved that she would not be +guided by Aylmer Park opinions in that matter. She had anticipated much +that was disagreeable on this subject, and had therefore congratulated +herself not a little on the absence of all allusion to it. But Lady +Aylmer had, in truth, kept Mrs Askerton in reserve, as a battery to be +used against Miss Amedroz if all other modes of attack should fail as a +weapon which would be powerful when other weapons had been powerless. +For a while she had thought it possible that Clara might be the owner +of the Belton estate, and then it had been worth the careful mother's +while to be prepared to accept a daughter-in-law so dowered. We have +seen how the question of such ownership had enabled her to put forward +the plea of poverty which she had used on her son's behalf. But since +that, Frederic had declared his intention of marrying the young woman +in spite of his poverty, and Clara seemed to be equally determined. 'He +has been fool enough to speak the word, and she is determined to keep +him to it,' said Lady Aylmer to her daughter. Therefore the Askerton +battery was brought to bear not altogether unsuccessfully. + +The three ladies were sitting together in the drawing-room, and had +been as mute as fishes for half an hour. In these sittings they were +generally very silent, speaking only in short little sentences. 'Will +you drive with us today, Miss Amedroz?' 'Not today, I think, Lady +Aylmer.' 'As you are reading, perhaps you won't mind our leaving you?' +'Pray do not put yourself to inconvenience for me, Miss Aylmer,' Such +and such like was their conversation; but on a sudden, after a full +half- hour's positive silence, Lady Aylmer asked a question altogether +of another kind. 'I think, Miss Amedroz, my son wrote to you about a +certain Mrs Askerton?' + +Clara put down her work and sat for a moment almost astonished. It was +not only that Lady Aylmer had asked so very disagreeable a question, +but that she had asked it with so peculiar a voice a voice as it were a +command, in a manner that was evidently intended to be taken as +serious, and with a look of authority in her eye, as though she were +resolved that this battery of hers should knock the enemy absolutely in +the dust! Belinda gave a little spring in her chair, looked intently at +her work, and went on stitching faster than before. 'Yes, he did,' said +Clara, finding that an answer was imperatively demanded from her. + +'It was quite necessary that he should write. I believe it to be an +undoubted fact that Mrs Askerton is is is not at all what she ought to +be.' + +'Which of us is what we ought to be?' said Clara. + +'Miss Amedroz, on this subject I am not at all inclined to joke. Is it +not true that Mrs Askerton' + +'You must excuse me, Lady Aylmer, but what I know of Mrs Askerton, I +know altogether in confidence; so that I cannot speak to you of her +past life.' + +'But, Miss Amedroz, pray excuse me if I say that I must speak of it. +When I remember the position in which you do us the honour of being our +visitor here, how can I help speaking of it?' Belinda was stitching +very hard, and would not even raise her eyes. Clara, who still held her +needle in her hand, resumed her work, and for a moment or two made no +further answer. But Lady Aylmer had by no means completed her task. +'Miss Amedroz,' she said, 'you must allow me to judge for myself in +this matter. The subject is one on which I feel myself obliged to speak +to you.' + +'But I have got nothing to say about it.' + +'You have, I believe, admitted the truth of the allegations made by us +as to this woman.' Clara was becoming very angry. A red spot showed +itself on each cheek, and a frown settled upon her brow. She did not as +yet know what she would say or how she would conduct herself. She was +striving to consider how best she might assert her own independence. +But she was fully determined that in this matter she would not bend an +inch to Lady Aylmer. 'I believe we may take that as admitted?', said +her ladyship. + +'I am not aware that I have admitted anything to you, Lady Aylmer, or +said anything that can justify you in questioning me on the subject.' + +'Justify me in questioning a young woman who tells me that she is to be +my future daughter-in-law!' + +'I have not told you so. I have never told you anything of the kind.' + +'Then on what footing, Miss Amedroz, do you do us the honour of being +with us here at Aylmer Park?' + +'On a very foolish footing.' + +'On a foolish footing! What does that mean?' + +'It means that I have been foolish in coming to a house in which I am +subjected to such questioning.' + +'Belinda, did you ever hear anything like this? Miss Amedroz, I must +persevere, however much you may dislike it. The story of this woman's +life whether she be Mrs Askerton or not, I don't know' + +'She is Mrs Askerton,' said Clara. + +'As to that I do not profess to know, and I dare say that you are no +wiser than myself. But what she has been we do know.' Here Lady Aylmer +raised her voice and continued to speak with all the eloquence which +assumed indignation could give her. 'What she has been we do know, and +I ask you, as a duty which I own to my son, whether you have put an end +to your acquaintance with so very disreputable a person a person whom +even to have known is a disgrace?' + +'I know her, and' + +'Stop one minute, if you please. My questions are these Have you put an +end to that acquaintance? Are you ready to give a promise that it shall +never be resumed? + +'I have not put an end to that acquaintance or rather that affectionate +friendship as I should call it, and I am ready to promise that it shall +be maintained with all my heart.' + +'Belinda, do you hear her?' + +'Yes, mamma.' And Belinda slowly shook her head, which was now bowed +lower than ever over her lap. + +'And that is your resolution?' + +'Yes, Lady Aylmer; that is my resolution.' + +'And you think that becoming to you, as a young woman?' + +'Just so; I think that becoming to me as a young woman.' + +'Then let me tell you, Miss Amedroz, that I differ from you altogether +altogether.' Lady Aylmer, as she repeated the last word, raised her +folded hands as though she were calling upon heaven to witness how +thoroughly she differed from the young woman! + +'I don't see how I am to help that, Lady Aylmer. I dare say we may +differ on many subjects.' + +'I dare say we do. I dare say we do. And I need not point out to you +how very little that would be a matter of regret to me but for the hold +you have upon my unfortunate son.' + +'Hold upon him, Lady Aylmer! How dare you insult me by such language?' +Hereupon Belinda again jumped in her chair; but Lady Aylmer looked as +though she enjoyed the storm. + +'You undoubtedly have a hold upon him, Miss Amedroz, and I think that +it is a great misfortune. Of course, when he hears what your conduct is +with reference to this person, he will release himself from his +entanglement.' + +'He can release himself from his entanglement whenever he chooses,' +said Clara, rising from her chair. 'Indeed, he is released. I shall let +Captain Aylmer know that our engagement must be at an end, unless he +will promise that I shall never in future be subjected to the +unwarrantable insolence of his mother.' Then she walked off to the +door, not regarding, and indeed not hearing, the parting shot that was +fired at her. + +And now what was to be done! Clara went up to her own room, making +herself strong and even comfortable, with an inward assurance that +nothing should ever induce her even to sit down to table again with +Lady Aylmer. She would not willingly enter the same room with Lady +Aylmer, or have any speech with her. But what should she at once do? +She could not very well leave Aylmer Park without settling whither she +would go; nor could she in any way manage to leave the house on that +afternoon. She almost resolved that she would go to Mrs Askerton. +Everything was of course over between her and Captain Aylmer, and +therefore there was no longer any hindrance to her doing so on that +score. But what would be her Cousin Will's wish? He, now, was the only +friend to whom she could trust for good counsel. What would be his +advice? Should she write and ask him? No she could not do that. She +could not bring herself to write to him, telling him that the Aylmer +'entanglement' was at an end. Were she to do so, he, with his +temperament, would take such letter as meaning much more than it was +intended to mean. But she would write a letter to Captain Aylmer. This +she thought that she would do at once, and she began it. + +She got as far as 'My dear Captain Aylmer,' and then she found that the +letter was one which could not be written very easily. And she +remembered, as the greatness of the difficulty of writing the letter +became plain to her, that it could not now be sent so as to reach +Captain Aylmer before he would leave London. If written at all, it must +be addressed to him at Aylmer Park, and the task might be done tomorrow +as well as today. So that task was given up for the present. + +But she did write a letter to Mrs Askerton a letter which she would +send or not on the morrow, according to the state of her mind as it +might then be. In this she declared her purpose of leaving Aylmer Park +on the day after Captain Aylmer's arrival, and asked to be taken in at +the cottage. An answer was to be sent to her, addressed to the Great +Northern Railway Hotel. + +Richards, the maid, came up to her before dinner, with offers of +assistance for dressing offers made in a tone which left no doubt on +Clara's mind that Richards knew all about the quarrel. But Clara +declined to be dressed, and sent down a message saying that she would +remain in her room, and begging to be supplied with tea. She would not +even condescend to say that she was troubled with a headache. Then +Belinda came up to her, just before dinner was announced, and with a +fluttered gravity advised Miss Amedroz to come down-stairs. 'Mamma +thinks it will be much better that you should show yourself, let the +final result be what it may.' + +'But I have not the slightest desire to show myself.' + +'There are the servants, you know.' + +'But, Miss Aylmer, I don't care a straw for the servants really not a +straw.' + +'And papa will feel it so.' + +'I shall be sorry if Sir Anthony is annoyed but I cannot help it. It +has not been my doing.' + +'And mamma says that my brother would of course wish it.' + +'After what your mother has done, I don't see what his wishes would +have to do with it even if she knew them which I don't think she does.' + +'But if you will think of it, I'm sure you'll find it is the proper +thing to do. There is nothing to be avoided so much as an open quarrel, +that all the servants can see.' + +'I must say, Miss Aylmer, that I disregard the servants. After what +passed downstairs, of course I have had to consider what I should do. +Will you tell your mother that I will stay here, if she will permit it?' + +'Of course. She will be delighted.' + +'I will remain, if she will permit it, till the morning after Captain +Aylmer's arrival. Then I shall go.' + +'Where to, Miss Amedroz?' + +'I have already written to a friend, asking her to receive me.' + +Miss Aylmer paused a moment before she asked her next question but she +did ask it, showing by her tone and manner that she had been driven to +summon up all her courage to enable her to do so. 'To what friend, Miss +Amedroz? Mamma will be glad to know.' + +'That is a question which Lady Aylmer can have no right to ask,' said +Clara. + +'Oh very well. Of course, if you don't like to tell, there's no more to +be said.' + +'I do not like to tell, Miss Aylmer.' + +Clara had her tea in her room that evening, and lived there the whole +of the next day. The family downstairs was not comfortable. Sir Anthony +could not be made to understand why his guest kept her room which was +not odd, as Lady Aylmer was very sparing in the information she gave +him; and Belinda found it to be impossible to sit at table, or to say a +few words to her father and mother, without showing at every moment her +consciousness that a crisis had occurred. By the next day's post the +letter to Mrs Askerton was sent, and at the appointed time Captain +Aylmer arrived. About an hour after he entered the house, Belinda went +upstairs with a message from him would Miss Amedroz see him? Miss +Amedroz would see him, but made it a condition of doing so that she +should not be required to meet Lady Aylmer. She need not be afraid,' +said Lady Aylmer. 'Unless she sends me a full apology, with a promise +that she will have no further intercourse whatever with that woman, I +will never willingly see her again.' A meeting was therefore arranged +between Captain Aylmer and Miss Amedroz in a sitting-room upstairs. + +'What is all this, Clara?' said Captain Aylmer, at once. + +'Simply this that your mother has insulted me most wantonly.' + +'She says that it is you who have been uncourteous to her.' + +'Be it so you can of course believe whichever you please, and it is +desirable, no doubt, that you should prefer to believe your mother.' + +'But I do not wish there to be any quarrel.' + +'But there is a quarrel, Captain Aylmer, and I must leave your father's +house. I cannot stay here after what has taken place. Your mother told +me I cannot tell you what she told me, but she made against me just +those accusations which she knew it would be the hardest for me to +bear.' + +'I'm sure you have mistaken her.' + +'No; I have not mistaken her.' + +'And where do you propose to go?' + +'To Mrs Askerton.' + +'Oh, Clara!' + +'I have written to Mrs Askerton to ask her to receive me for awhile. +Indeed, I may almost say that I had no other choice.' + +'If you go there, Clara, there will be an end to everything.' + +'And there must be an end of what you call everything, Captain Aylmer,' +said she, smiling. 'It cannot be for your good to bring into your +family a wife of whom your mother would think so badly as she thinks of +me.' + +There was a great deal said, and Captain Aylmer walked very often up +and down the room, endeavouring to make some arrangement which might +seem in some sort to appease his mother. Would Clara only allow a +telegram to be sent to Mrs Askerton, to explain that she had changed +her mind? But Clara would allow no such telegram to be sent, and on +that evening she packed up all her things. Captain Aylmer saw her again +and again, sending Belinda backwards and forwards, and making different +appointments up to midnight; but it was all to no purpose, and on the +next morning she took her departure alone in the Aylmer Park carriage +for the railway station. Captain Aylmer had proposed to go with her; +but she had so stoutly declined his company that he was obliged to +abandon his intention. She saw neither of the ladies on that morning, +but Sir Anthony came out to say a word of farewell to her in the hall. +'I am very sorry for all this,' said he. 'It is a pity,' said Clara, +'but it cannot be helped. Good-bye, Sir Anthony.' 'I hope we may meet +again under pleasanter circumstances,' said the baronet. To this Clara +made no reply, and was then handed into the carriage by Captain Aylmer. + +'I am so bewildered,' said he, 'that I cannot now say anything +definite, but I shall write to you, and probably follow you.' + +'Do not follow me, pray, Captain Aylmer,' said she, Then she was driven +to the station; and as she passed through the lodges of the park +entrance she took what she intended to be a final farewell of Aylmer +Park. + + +CHAPTER XXVII + +ONCE MORE BACK TO BELTON + +When the carriage was driven away, Sir Anthony and Captain Aylmer were +left standing alone at the ball door of the house. The servants had +slunk off, and the father and son, looking at each other, felt that +they also must slink away, or else have some words together on the +subject of their guest's departure. The younger gentleman would have +preferred that there should be no words, but Sir Anthony was curious to +know something of what had passed in the house during the last few +days. 'I'm afraid things are not going quite comfortable,' he said. + +'It seems to me, sir,' said his son, 'that things very seldom do go +quite comfortable.' + +'But, Fred what is it all about? Your mother says that Miss Amedroz is +behaving very badly.' + +'And Miss Amedroz says that my mother is behaving very badly.' + +'Of course that's only natural. And what do you say?' + +'I say nothing, sir. The less said the soonest mended.' + +'That's all very well; but it seems to me that you, in your position, +must say something. The long and the short of it is this. Is she to be +your wife?' + +'Upon my word, sir, I don't know.' + +They were still standing out under the portico, and as Sir Anthony did +not for a minute or two ask any further questions, Captain Aylmer +turned as though he were going into the house. But his father had still +a word or two to say. Stop a moment, Fred. I don't often trouble you +with advice.' + +'I'm sure I'm always glad to hear it when you offer any.' + +'I know very well that in most things your opinion is better than mine. +You've had advantages which I never had. But I've had more experience +than you, my dear boy. It stands to reason that in some things I must +have had more experience than you.' There was a tone of melancholy in +the father's voice as he said this which quite touched his son, and +which brought the two closer together out in the porch. 'Take my word +for it,' continued Sir Anthony, 'that you are much better off as you +are than you could be with a wife.' + +'Do you mean to say that no man should marry?' + +'No I don't mean to say that. An eldest son ought to marry, so that the +property may have an heir. And poor men should marry, I suppose, as +they want wives to do for them. And sometimes, no doubt, a man must +marry when he has got to be very fond of a girl, and has compromised +himself, and all that kind of thing. I would never advise any man to +sully his honour.' As Sir Anthony said this he raised himself a little +with his two sticks and spoke out in a bolder voice. The voice however, +sank again as he descended from the realms of honour to those of +prudence. 'But none of these cases are yours, Fred. To be sure you'll +have the Perivale property; but that is not a family estate, and you'll +be much better off by turning it into money. And in the way of comfort, +you can be a great deal more comfortable without a wife than you can +with one. What do you want a wife for? And then, as to Miss Amedroz for +myself I must say that I like her uncommonly. She has been very +pleasant in her ways with me. But somehow or another, I don't think you +are so much in love with her but what you can do without her.' Hereupon +he paused and looked his son full in the face. Fred had also been +thinking of the matter in his own way, and asking himself the same +question whether he was in truth so much in love with Clara that he +could not live without her. 'Of course I don't know,' continued Sir +Anthony, ' what has taken place just now between you and her, or what +between her and your mother; but I suppose the whole thing might fall +through without any further trouble to you or without anything +unhandsome on your part?' But Captain Aylmer still said nothing. The +whole thing might, no doubt, fall through, but he wished to be neither +unjust nor ungenerous and he specially wished to avoid anything +unhandsome. After a further pause of a few minutes, Sir Anthony went on +again, pouring forth the words of experience. 'Of course marriage is +all very well. I married rather early in life, and have always found +your mother to be a most excellent woman. A better woman doesn't +breathe. I'm as sure of that as I am of anything. But God bless me of +course you can see. I can't call anything my own. I'm tied down here +and I can't move. I've never got a shilling to spend, while all these +lazy hounds about the place are eating me up. There isn't a clerk with +a hundred a year in London that isn't better off than I am as regards +ready money. And what comfort have I in a big house, and no end of +gardens, and a place like this? What pleasures do I get out of it? That +comes of marrying and keeping up one's name in the county respectably! +What do I care for the county? D the county! I often wish that I'd +been a younger son as you are.' + +Captain Aylmer had no answer to make to all this. It was, no doubt, the +fact that age and good living had made Sir Anthony altogether incapable +of enjoying the kind of life which he desiderated, and that he would +probably have eaten and drunk himself into his grave long since had +that kind of life been within his reach. This, however, the son could +not explain to the father. But in fitting, as he endeavoured to do, his +father's words to his own case, Captain Aylmer did perceive that a +bachelor's life might perhaps be the most suitable to his own peculiar +case. Only he would do nothing unhandsome. As to that he was quite +resolved. Of course Clara must show herself to be in some degree +amenable to reason and to the ordinary rules of the world; but he was +aware that his mother was hot. tempered, and he generously made up his +mind that he would give Miss Amedroz even yet another chance. + +At the hotel in London Clara found a short note from Mrs Askerton, in +which she was warmly assured that everything should be done to make her +comfortable at the cottage as long as she should wish to stay there. +But the very warmth of affection thus expressed made her almost shrink +from what she was about to do. Mrs Askerton was no doubt anxious for +her coming; but would her Cousin Will Belton approve of the visit; and +what would her Cousin Mary say about it? If she was being driven into +this step against her own approval, by the insolence of Lady Aylmer if +she was doing this thing simply because Lady Aylmer had desired her not +to do it, and was doing it in opposition to the wishes of the man she +had promised to marry as well as to her own judgment, there could not +but be cause for shrinking. And yet she believed that she was right. If +she could only have had some one to tell her some one in whom she could +trust implicitly to direct her! She had hitherto been very much prone +to rebel against authority. Against her aunt she had rebelled, and +against her father, and against her lover. But now she wished with all +her heart that there might be some one to whom she could submit with +perfect faith. If she could only know what her Cousin Will would think. +In him she thought she could have trusted with that perfect faith if +only he would have been a brother to her. + +But it was too late now for doubting, and on the next day she found +herself getting out of the old Redicote fly, at Colonel Askerton's +door. He came out to meet her, and his greeting was very friendly. +Hitherto there had been no great intimacy between him and her, owing +rather to the manner of life adopted by him than to any cause of mutual +dislike between them. Mrs Askerton had shown herself desirous of some +social intercourse since she had been at Belton, but with Colonel +Askerton there had been nothing of this. He had come there intending to +live alone, and had been satisfied to carry out his purpose. But now +Clara had come to his house as a guest, and he assumed towards her +altogether a new manner. 'We are so glad to have you,' he said, taking +both her hands. Then she passed on into the cottage, and in a minute +was in her friend's arms. + +'Dear Clara dearest Clara, I am so glad to have you here.' + +'It is very good of you.' + +'No, dear; the goodness is with you to come. But we won't quarrel about +that. We will both be ever so good. And he is so happy that you should +be here. You'll get to know him now. But come upstairs. There's a fire +in your room, and I'll be your maid for the occasion because then we +can talk.' Clara did as she was bid and went upstairs; and as she sat +over the fire while her friend knelt beside her for Mrs Askerton was +given to such kneelings she could not but tell herself that Belton +Cottage was much more comfortable than Aylmer Park. During the whole +time of her sojourn at Aylmer Park no word of real friendship had once +greeted her ears. Everything there had been cold and formal, till +coldness and formality had given way to violent insolence. + +'And so you have quarrelled with her ladyship,' said Mrs Askerton. 'I +knew you would.' + +'I have not said anything about quarrelling with her.' + +'But of course you have. Come, now; don't make yourself disagreeable. +You have had a downright battle have you not?' + +'Something very like it, I'm afraid.' + +'I am so glad,' said Mrs Askerton, rubbing her hands. + +'That is ill-natured.' + +'Very well. Let it be ill-natured. One isn't to be good-natured all +round, or what would be the use of it? And what sort of a woman is she?' + +'Oh dear; I couldn't describe her. She is very large, and wears a great +wig, and manages everything herself, and I've no doubt she's a very +good woman in her own way.' + +'I can see her at once and a very pillar of virtue as regards morality +and going to church. Poor me! Does she know that you have come here?' + +'I have no doubt she does. I did not tell her, nor would I tell her +daughter; but I told Captain Aylmer.' + +'That was right. That was very right. I'm so glad of that. But who +would doubt that you would show a groper spirit? And what did he say?' + +'Not much, indeed.' + +'I won't trouble you about him. I don't in the least doubt but all that +will come right. And what sort of man is Sir Anthony?' + +'A common-place sort of a man; very gouty, and with none of his wife's +strength. I liked him the best of them all.' + +'Because you saw the least of him, I suppose.' + +'He was kind in his manner to me.' + +'And they were like she-dragons. I understand it all, and can see them +just as though I had been there. I felt that I knew what would come of +it when you first told me that you were going to Aylmer Park, I did, +indeed. I could have prophesied it all.' + +'What a pity you did not.' + +'It would have done no good and your going there has done good. It has +opened your eyes to more than one thing, I don't doubt. But tell me +have you told them in Norfolk that you were coming here?' + +'No I have not written to my cousin.' + +'Don't be angry with me if I tell you something. I have.' + +'Have what?' + +'I have told Mr Belton that you were coming here. It was in this way. I +had to write to him about our continuing in the cottage. Colonel +Askerton always makes me write if it's possible, and of course we were +obliged to settle something as to the place.' + +'I'm sorry you said anything about me.' + +'How could I help it? What would you have thought of me, or what would +he have thought, if, when writing to him, I had not mentioned such a +thing as your visit? Besides, it's much better that he should know.' + +'I am sorry that you said anything about it.' + +'You are ashamed that he should know that you are here,' said Mrs +Askerton, in a tone of reproach. + +'Ashamed! No; I am not ashamed. But I would sooner that he had not been +told as yet. Of course he would have been told before long.' + +'But you are not angry with me?' + +'Angry! How can I be angry with any one who is so kind to me?' + +That evening passed by very pleasantly, and when she went again to her +own room, Clara was almost surprised to find how completely she was at +home. On the next day she and Mrs Askerton together went up to the +house, and roamed through all the rooms, and Clara seated herself in +all the accustomed chairs. On the sofa, just in the spot to which +Belton had thrown it, she found the key of the cellar. She took it up +in her band, thinking that she would give it to the servant; but again +she put it back upon the sofa. It was his key, and he had left it +there, and if ever there came an occasion she would remind him where he +had put it. Then they went out to the cow, who was at her ease in a +little home paddock. + +'Dear Bessy,' said Clara, 'see how well she knows me.' But I think the +tame little beast would have known any one else as well who had gone up +to her as Clara did, with food in her hand. 'She is quite as sacred as +any cow that ever was worshipped among the cow-worshippers,' said Mrs +Askerton. I suppose they milk her and sell the butter, but otherwise +she is not regarded as an ordinary cow at all.' 'Poor Bessy,' said +Clara. 'I wish she had never come here. What is to be done with her?' +'Done with her! She'll stay here till she dies a natural death, and +then a romantic pair of mourners will follow her to her grave, mixing +their sympathetic tears comfortably as they talk of the old days; and +in future years, Bessy will grow to be a divinity of the past, never to +be mentioned without tenderest reminiscences. I have not the slightest +difficulty in prophesying as to Bessy's future life and posthumous +honours.' They roamed about the place the whole morning, through the +garden and round the farm buildings, and in and out of the house; and +at every turn something was said about Will Belton. But Clara would not +go up to the rocks, although Mrs Askerton more than once attempted to +turn in that direction. He had said that he never would go there again +except under certain circumstances. She knew that those circumstances +would never come to pass; but yet neither would she go there. She would +never go there till her cousin was married. Then, if in those days she +should ever be present at Belton Castle, she would creep up to the spot +all alone, and allow herself to think of the old days. + +On the following morning there came to her a letter bearing the Downham +post-mark but at the first glance she knew that it was not from her +Cousin Will. Will wrote with a bold round hand, that was extremely +plain and caligraphic when he allowed him. self time for the work in +hand, as he did with the commencement of his epistles, but which would +become confused and altogether anti- caligraphic when he fell into a +hurry towards the end of his performance as was his wont. But the +address of this letter was written in a pretty, small, female hand very +careful in the perfection of every letter, and very neat in every +stroke. It was from Mary Briton, between whom and Clara there had never +hitherto been occasion for correspondence. The letter was as follows: + +'Plaistow Hall, April, 186 . + +My Dear Cousin Clara, + +William has heard from your friends at Belton, who are tenants on the +estate, and as to whom there seems to be some question whether they are +to remain. He has written, saying, I believe, that there need be no +difficulty if they wish to stay there. But we learn, also, from Mrs +Askerton's letter, that you are expected at the cottage, and therefore +I will address this to Belton, supposing that it may find you there. + +You and I have never yet known each other which has been a grief to me; +but this grief, I hope, may be cured some day before long. I myself, as +you know, am such a poor creature that I cannot go about the world to +see my friends as other people do at least, not very well; and +therefore I write to you with the object of asking you to come and see +me here. This is an interesting old house in its way; and though I must +not conceal from you that life here is very, very quiet, I would do my +best to make the days pass pleasantly with you. I had heard that you +were gone to Aylmer Park. Indeed, William told me of his taking you up +to London. Now it seems you have left Yorkshire, and I suppose you will +not return there very soon. If it be so, will it not be well that you +should come to me for a short time? + +Both William and I feel that just for the present for a little time you +would perhaps prefer to be alone with me. He must go to London for +awhile, and then on to Belton, to settle your affairs and his. He +intends to be absent for six weeks. If you would not be afraid of the +dullness of this house for so long a time, pray come to us. The +pleasure to me would be very great, and I hope that you have some of +that feeling, which with me is so strong, that we ought not to be any +longer personally strangers to each other. You could then make up your +mind as to what you would choose to do afterwards. I think that by the +end of that time that is, when William returns my uncle and aunt from +Sleaford will be with us. He is a clergyman, you know; and if you then +like to remain, they will be delighted to make your acquaintance. + +It seems to be a long journey for a young lady to make alone, from +Belton to Plaistow; but travelling is so easy now-a-days, and young +ladies seem to be so independent, that you may be able to manage it. +Hoping to see you soon, I remain + +Your affectionate Cousin, + +MARY BELTON.' + +This letter she received before breakfast, and was therefore able to +read it in solitude, and to keep its receipt from the knowledge of Mrs +Askerton, if she should be so minded. She understood at once all that +it intended to convey a hint that Plaistow Hall would be a better +resting place for her than Mrs Askerton's cottage; and an assurance +that if she would go to Plaistow Hall for her convenience, no advantage +should be taken of her presence there by the owner of the house for his +convenience. As she sat thinking of the offer which had been made to +her she fancied that she could see and hear her Cousin Will as he +discussed the matter with his sister, and with a half assumption of +surliness declared his own intention of going away. Captain Aylmer, +after that interview in London, had spoken of Belton's conduct as being +unpardonable; but Clara had not only pardoned him, but had, in her own +mind, pronounced his virtues to be so much greater than his vices as to +make him almost perfect. 'But I will not drive him out of his own +house,' she said. 'What does it matter where I go?' + +'Colonel Askerton has had a letter from your cousin,' said Mrs Askerton +as soon as the two ladies were alone together. + +'And what does he say?' + +'Not a word about you.' + +'So much the better. I have given him trouble enough, and am glad to +think that he should be free of me for awhile. Is Colonel Askerton to +stay at the cottage?' + +'Now, Clara, you are a hypocrite. You know that you are a hypocrite.' + +'Very likely but I don't know why you should accuse me just now.' + +'Yes, you do. Have not you heard from Norfolk also?' 'Yes I have.' + +'I was sure of it. I knew he would never have written in that way, in +answer to my letter, ignoring your visit here altogether, unless he had +written to you also.' + +'But he has not written to me. My letter is from his sister. There it +is.' Whereupon she handed the letter to Mrs Askerton, and waited +patiently while it was being read. Her friend returned it to her +without a word, and Clara was the first to speak again. 'It is a nice +letter, is it not? I never saw her, you know.' + +'So she says.' + +'But is it not a kind letter?' + +'I suppose it is meant for kindness. It is not very complimentary to +me. It presumes that such a one as I may be treated without the +slightest consideration. And so I may. It is only fit that I should be +so treated. If you ask my advice, I advise you to go at once at once.' + +'But I have not asked your advice, dear; nor do I intend to ask it.' + +'You would not have shown it me if you had not intended to go.' + +'How unreasonable you are! You told me just now that I was a hypocrite +for not telling you of my letter, and now you are angry with me because +I have shown it you.' + +'I am not angry. I think you have been quite right to show it me. I +don't know how else you could have acted upon it.' + +'But I do not mean to act upon it. I shall not go to Plaistow. There +are two reasons against it, each sufficient. I shall not leave you just +yet unless you send me away; and I shall not cause my cousin to be +turned out of his own house.' + +'Why should he be turned out? Why should you not go to him? You love +him and as for him, he is more in love than any man I ever knew. Go to +Plaistow Hall, and everything will run smooth.' + +'No, dear; I shall not do that.' + +'Then you are foolish. I am bound to tell you so, as I have inveigled +you here.' + +'I thought I had invited myself.' + +'No; I asked you to come, and when I asked you I knew that I was wrong. +Though I meant to be kind, I knew that I was unkind. I saw that my +husband disapproved it, though he had not the heart to tell me so. I +wish he had. I wish he had.' + +'Mrs Askerton, I cannot tell you how much you wrong yourself, and how +you wrong me also. I am more than contented to be here.' + +'But you should not be contented to be here. It is just that. In +learning to love me or rather, perhaps, to pity me, you lower yourself. +Do you think that I do not see it all, and know it all? Of course it is +bad to be alone, but I have no right not to be alone.' There was +nothing for Clara to do but to draw herself once again close to the +poor woman, and to embrace her with protestations of fair, honest, +equal regard and friendship. 'Do you think I do not understand that +letter?' continued Mrs Askerton. 'If it had come from Lady Aylmer I +could have laughed at it, because I believe Lady Aylmer to be an +overbearing virago, whom it is good to put down in every way possible. +But this comes from a pure-minded woman, one whom I believe to be +little given to harsh judgments on her fellow-sinners; and she tells +you, in her calm wise way, that it is bad for you to be here with me.' + +'She says nothing of the kind.' + +'But does she not mean it? Tell me honestly do you not know that she +means it?' + +'I am not to be guided by what she means.' + +'But you are to be guided by what her brother means. It is to come to +that, and you may as well bend your neck at once. It is to come to +that, and the sooner the better for you. it is easy to see that you are +badly off for guidance when you take up me as your friend.' When she +had so spoken Mrs Askerton got up and went to the door. 'No, Clara, do +not come with me; not now,' she said, turning to her companion, who had +risen as though to follow her. 'I will come to you soon, but I would +rather be alone now. And, look here, dear; you must answer your +cousin's letter. Do so at once, and say that you will go to Plaistow. +In any event it will be better for you.' + +Clara, when she was alone, did answer her cousin's letter, but she did +not accept the invitation that had been given her. She assured Miss +Belton that she was most anxious to know her, and hoped that she might +do so before long, either at Plaistow or at Belton; but that at present +she was under an engagement to stay with her friend Mrs Askerton. In an +hour or two Mrs Askerton returned, and Clara handed to her the note to +read. 'Then all I can say is you are very silly, and don't know on +which side your bread is buttered.' It was evident from Mrs Askerton's +voice that she had recovered her mood and tone of mind. 'I don't +suppose it will much signify, as it will all come right at last,' she +said afterwards. And then, after luncheon, when she had been for a few +minutes with her husband in his own room, she told Clara that the +colonel wanted to speak to her. 'You'll find him as grave as a judge, +for he has got something to say to you in earnest. Nobody can be so +stern as he is when he chooses to put on his wig and gown.' So Clara +went into the colonel's study, and seated herself in a chair which he +had prepared for her. + +She remained there for over an hour, and during the hour the +conversation became very animated. Colonel Askerton's assumed gravity +had given way to ordinary eagerness, during which he walked about the +room in the vehemence of his argument; and Clara, in answering him, had +also put forth all her strength. She had expected that he also was +going to speak to her on the propriety of her going to Norfolk; but he +made no allusion to that subject, although all that he did say was +founded on Will Belton's letter to himself. Belton, in speaking of the +cottage, had told Colonel Askerton that Miss Amedroz would be his +future landlord, and had then gone on to explain that it was his, +Belton's, intention to destroy the entail, and allow the property to +descend from the father to the daughter. 'As Miss Amedroz is with you +now,' he said, 'may I beg you to take the trouble to explain the matter +to her at length, and to make her understand that the estate is now, at +this moment, in fact her own. Her possession of it does not depend on +any act of hers or, indeed, upon her own will or wish in the matter.' +On this subject Colonel Askerton had argued, using all his skill to +make Clara in truth perceive that she was her father's heiress through +the generosity undoubtedly of her cousin and that she had no +alternative but to assume the possession which was thus thrust upon her. + +And so eloquent was the colonel that Clara was staggered, though she +was not convinced. 'It is quite impossible,' she said. 'Though he may +be able to make it over to me, I can give it back again.' + +'I think not. In such a matter as this a lady in your position can only +be guided by her natural advisers her father's lawyer and other family +friends.' + +'I don't know why a young lady should be in any way different from an +old gentleman.' + +'But an old gentleman would not hesitate under such circumstances. The +entail in itself was a cruelty, and the operation of it on your poor +brother's death was additionally cruel.' + +'It is cruel that any one should be poor,' argued Clara; 'but that does +not take away the right of a rich man to his property.' + +There was much more of this sort said between them, till Clara was at +any rate convinced that Colonel Askerton believed that she ought to be +the owner of the property. And then at last he ventured upon another +argument which soon drove Clara out of the room. 'There is, I believe, +one way in which it can all be made right,' said he. + +'What way? 'said Clara, forgetting in her eagerness the obviousness of +the mode which her companion was about to point out. + +'Of course, I know nothing of this myself,' he said smiling; 'but Mary +thinks that you and your cousin might arrange it between you if you +were together.' + +'You must not listen to what she says about that, Colonel Askerton.' +'Must I not? Well; I will not listen to more than I can help; but Mary, +as you know, is a persistent talker. I, at any rate, have done my +commission.' Then Clara left him and was alone for what remained of the +afternoon. + +It could not be, she said to herself, that the property ought to be +hers. It would make her miserable, were she once to feel that she had +accepted it. Some small allowance out of it, coming to her from the +brotherly love of her cousin some moderate stipend sufficient for her +livelihood, she thought she could accept from him. It seemed to her +that it was her destiny to be dependent on charity to eat bread given +to her from the benevolence of a friend; and she thought that she could +endure his benevolence better than that of any other. Benevolence from +Aylmer Park or from Perivale would be altogether unendurable. + +But why should it not be as Colonel Askerton had proposed? That this +cousin of hers loved her with all his heart with a constancy for which +she had at first given him no credit she was well aware. And, as +regarded herself, she loved him better than all the world beside. She +had at last become conscious that she could not now marry Captain +Aylmer without sin without false vows, and fatal injury to herself and +him. To the prospect of that marriage, as her future fate, an end must +be put at any rate an end, if that which had already taken place was +not to be regarded as end enough. But yet she had been engaged to +Captain Aylmer was engaged to him even now. When last her cousin had +mentioned to her Captain Aylmer's name she had declared that she loved +him still. How then could she turn round now, and so soon accept the +love of another man? How could she bring herself to let her cousin +assume to himself the place of a lover, when it was but the other day +that she had rebuked him for expressing the faintest hope in that +direction? + +But yet yet ! As for going to Plaistow, that was quite out of the +question. + +'So you are to be the heiress after all,' said Mrs Askerton to her that +night in her bedroom. + +'No; I am not to be the heiress after all,' said Clara, rising against +her friend impetuously. + +'You'll have to be lady of Belton in one way or the other at any rate,' +said Mrs Askerton. + + +CHAPTER XXVIII + +MISS AMEDROZ IS PURSUED + +'I suppose now, my dear, it may be considered that everything is +settled about that young lady,' said Lady Aylmer to her son, on the +same day that Miss Amedroz left Aylmer Park. + +'Nothing is settled, ma'am,' said the captain. + +'You don't mean to tell me that after what has passed you intend to +follow her up any farther.' + +'I shall certainly endeavour to see her again.' + +'Then, Frederic, I must tell you that you are very wrong indeed almost +worse than wrong. I would say wicked, only I feel sure that you will +think better of it. You cannot mean to tell me that you would marry her +after what has taken place?' + +'The question is whether she would marry me.' + +'That is nonsense, Frederic. I wonder that you, who are so generally so +clear-sighted, cannot see more plainly than that. She is a scheming, +artful young woman, who is playing a regular game to catch a husband.' + +'If that were so, she would have been more humble to you, ma'am.' + +'Not a bit, Fred. That's just it. That has been her cleverness. She +tried that on at first, and found that she could not get round me. +Don't allow yourself to be deceived by that, I pray. And then there is +no knowing how she may be bound up with those horrid people, so that +she cannot throw them over, even if she would.' + +'I don't think you understand her, ma'am.' + +'Oh very well. But I understand this, and you had better understand it +too that she will never again enter a house of which I am the mistress; +nor can I ever enter a house in which she is received. If you choose to +make her your wife after that, I have done.' Lady Aylmer had not done, +or nearly done; but we need hear no more of her threats or entreaties. +Her son left Aylmer Park immediately after Easter Sunday, and as he +went, the mother, nodding her head, declared to her daughter that that +marriage would never come off, let Clara Amedroz be ever so sly, or +ever so clever. + +'Think of what I have said to you, Fred,' said Sir Anthony, as he took +his leave of his son. + +'Yes, sir, I will.' + +'You can't be better off than you are you can't, indeed.' With these +words in his ears Captain Aylmer started for London, intending to +follow Clara down to Belton. He hardly knew his own mind on this matter +of his purposed marriage. He was almost inclined to agree with his +father that he was very well off as he was. He was almost inclined to +agree with his mother in her condemnation of Clara's conduct. He was +almost inclined to think that he had done enough towards keeping the +promise made to his aunt on her death. bed but still he was not quite +contented with himself. He desired to be honest and true, as far as his +ideas went of honesty and truth, and his conscience told him that Clara +had been treated with cruelty by his mother. I am inclined to think +that Lady Aylmer, in spite of her high experience and character for +wisdom, had not fought her battle altogether well. No man likes to be +talked out of his marriage by his mother, and especially not so when +the talking takes the shape of threats. When she told him that under no +circumstances would she again know Clara Amedroz, he was driven by his +spirit of manhood to declare to himself that that menace from her +should not have the slightest influence on him. The word or two which +his father said was more effective. After all it might be better for +him in his peculiar position to have no wife at all. He did begin to +believe that he had no need for a wife. He had never before thought so +much of his father's example as he did now. Clara was manifestly a +hot-tempered woman a very hot-tempered woman indeed! Now his mother was +also a hot-tempered woman, and he could see the result in the present +condition of his father's life. He resolved that he would follow Clara +to Belton, so that some final settlement might be made between them; +but in coming to this resolution he acknowledged to himself that should +she decide against him he would not break his heart. She, however, +should have her chance. Undoubtedly it was only right that she should +have her chance. + + + +But the difficulty of the circumstances in which he was placed was so +great, that it was almost impossible for him to make up his mind +fixedly to any purpose in reference to Clara. As he passed through +London on his way to Belton he called at Mr Green's chambers with +reference to that sum of fifteen hundred pounds, which it was now +absolutely necessary that he should make over to Miss Amedroz, and from +Mr Green he learned that William Belton had given positive instructions +as to the destination of the Belton estate. He would not inherit it, or +have anything to do with it under the entail from the effects of which +he desired to be made entirely free. Mr Green, who knew that Captain +Aylmer was engaged to marry his client, and who knew nothing of any +interruption to that agreement, felt no hesitation in explaining all +this to Captain Aylmer. 'I suppose you had heard of it before,' said Mr +Green. Captain Aylmer certainly had heard of it, and had been very much +struck by the idea; but up to this moment he had not quite believed in +it. Coming simply from William Belton to Clara Amedroz, such an offer +might be no more than a strong argument used in love- making. 'Take +back the property, but take me with it, of course.' That Captain Aylmer +thought might have been the correct translation of Mr William Belton's +romance. But he was forced to look at the matter differently when he +found that it had been put into a lawyer's hands. 'Yes,' said he,' I +have heard of it. Mr Belton mentioned it to me himself.' This was not +strictly true. Clara had mentioned it to him; but Belton had come into +the room immediately afterwards, and Captain Aylmer might probably have +been mistaken. + +'He's quite in earnest,' said Mr Green. + +'Of course, I can say nothing, Mr Green, as I am myself so nearly +interested in the matter. It is a great question, no doubt, how far +such an entail as that should be allowed to operate.' + +'I think it should stand, as a matter of course. I think Belton is +wrong,' said Mr Green. + +'Of course I can give no opinion,' said the other. + +'I'll tell you what you can do, Captain Aylmer. You can suggest to Miss +Amedroz that there should be a compromise. Let them divide it. They are +both clients of mine, and in that way I shall do my duty to each. Let +them divide it. Belton has money enough to buy up the other moiety, and +in that way would still be Belton of Belton.' + +Captain Aylmer had not the slightest objection to such a plan. Indeed, +he regarded it as in all respects a wise and salutary arrangement. The +moiety of the Belton estate might probably be worth twenty-five +thousand pounds, and the addition of such a sum as that to his existing +means would make all the difference in the world as to the expediency +of his marriage. His father's arguments would all fall to the ground if +twenty-five thousand pounds were to be obtained in this way; and he had +but little doubt that such a change in affairs would go far to mitigate +his mother's wrath. But he was by no means mercenary in his views so, +at least, he assured himself. Clara should have her chance with or +without the Belton estate or with or without the half of it. He was by +no means mercenary. Had he not made his offer to her and repeated it +almost with obstinacy, when she had no prospect of any fortune? He +could always remember that of himself at least; and remembering that +now, he could take a delight in these bright money prospects without +having to accuse himself in the slightest degree of mercenary motives. +This fortune was a godsend which he could take with clean hands if only +he should ultimately be able to take the lady who possessed the fortune! + +>From London he wrote to Clara, telling her that he proposed to visit +her at Belton. His letter was written before he had seen Mr Green, and +was not very fervent in its expressions; but, nevertheless, it was a +fair letter, written with the intention of giving her a fair chance. He +had seen with great sorrow 'with heartfelt grief,' that quarrel between +his mother and his own Clara. Thinking, as he felt himself obliged to +think, about Mrs Askerton, he could not but feel that his mother bad +cause for her anger. But he himself was unprejudiced, and was ready, +and anxious also the word anxious was underscored to carry out his +engagement. A few words between them might probably set everything +right, and therefore be proposed to meet her at the Belton Castle +house, at such an hour, on such a day. He should run down to Perivale +on his journey, and perhaps Clara would let him have a line addressed +to him there. Such was his letter. + +'What do you think of that?' said Clara, showing it to Mrs Askerton on +the afternoon of the day on which she had received it. + +'What do you think of it?' said Mrs Askerton. 'I can only hope, that he +will not come within reach of my hands.' + +'You are not angry with me for showing it to you?' + +'No why should I be angry with you? Of course I knew it all without any +showing. Do not tell Colonel Askerton, or they will be killing each +other.' + +'Of course I shall not tell Colonel Askerton; but I could not help +showing this to you.' + +'And you will meet him?' + +'Yes; I shall meet him. What else can I do?' + +'Unless, indeed, you were to write and tell him that it would do no +good.' + +'It will be better that he should come.' + +'If you allow him to talk you over you will be a wretched woman all +your life.' + +'It will be better that he should come,' said Clara again. And then she +wrote to Captain Aylmer at Perivale, telling him that she would be at +the house at the hour he had named, on the day he had named. + +When that day came she walked across the park a little before the time +fixed, not wishing to meet Captain Aylmer before she had reached the +house. It was now nearly the middle of April, and the weather was soft +and pleasant. It was almost summer again, and as she felt this, she +thought of all the events which had occurred since the last summer of +their agony of grief at the catastrophe which had closed her brother's +life, of her aunt's death first, and then of her father's following so +close upon the other, and of the two offers of marriage made to her as +to which she was now aware that she had accepted the wrong man and +rejected the wrong man. She was steadily minded, now, at this moment, +that before she parted from Captain Aylmer, her engagement with him +should be brought to a close. Now, at this coming interview, so much at +any rate should be done. She had tried to make herself believe that she +felt for him that sort of affection which a woman should have for the +man she is to marry, but she had failed. She hardly knew whether she +had in truth ever loved him; but she was quite sure that she did not +love him now. No she had done with Aylmer Park, and she could feel +thankful, amidst all her troubles, that that difficulty should vex her +no more. In showing Captain Aylmer's letter to Mrs Askerton she had +made no such promise as this, but her mind had been quite made up. 'He +certainly shall not talk me over,' she said to herself as she walked +across the park. + +But she could not see her way so clearly out of that further difficulty +with regard to her cousin. It might be that she would be able to rid +herself of the one lover with comparative ease; but she could not bring +herself to entertain the idea of accepting the other. It was true that +this man longed for her desired to call her his own, with a wearing, +anxious, painful desire which made his heart grievously heavy heavy as +though with lead hanging to its strings; and it was true that Clara +knew that it was so. It was true also that his spirit had mastered her +spirit, and that his persistence had conquered her resistance the +resistance, that is, of her feelings. But there remained with her a +feminine shame, which made it seem to her to be impossible that she +should now reject Captain Aylmer, and as a consequence of that +rejection, accept Will Belton's hand. As she thought of this, she could +not see her way out of her trouble in that direction with any of that +clearness which belonged to her in reference to Captain Aylmer. + +She had been an hour in the house before he came, and never did an hour +go so heavily with her. There was no employment for her about the +place, and Mrs Bunce, the old woman who now lived there, could not +understand why her late mistress chose to remain seated among the +unused furniture. Clara had of course told her that a gentleman was +coming. 'Not Mr Will?' said the woman. 'No; it is not Mr Will,' said +Clara; 'his name is Captain Aylmer.' 'Oh, indeed.' And then Mrs Bunce +looked at her with a mystified look. Why on earth should not the +gentleman call on Miss Amedroz at Mrs Askerton's cottage? 'I'll be sure +to show 'un up, when a comes, at any rate,' said the old woman solemnly +and Clara felt that it was all very uncomfortable. + +At last the gentleman did come, and was shown up with all the ceremony +of which Mrs Bunce was capable. 'Here he be, mum.' Then Mrs Bunce +paused a moment before she retreated, anxious to learn whether the new +corner was a friend or a foe. She concluded from the captain's manner +that he was a very dear friend, and then she departed. + +'I hope you are not surprised at my coming,' said Captain Aylmer, still +holding Clara by the hand. + +'A little surprised,' she said, smiling. + +'But not annoyed?' + +'No not annoyed.' + +'As soon as you had left Aylmer Park I felt that it was the right thing +to do the only thing to do as I told my mother.' + +'I hope you have not come in opposition to her wishes,' said Clara, +unable to control a slight tone of banter as she spoke. + +'In this matter I found myself compelled to act in accordance with my +own judgment,' said he, untouched by her sarcasm. + +'Then I suppose that Lady Aylmer is is vexed with you for coming here. +I shall be so sorry for that so very sorry, as no good can come of it.' + +'Well I am not so sure of that. My mother is a most excellent woman, +one for whose opinions on all matters I have the highest possible value +a value so high, that that that' + +'That you never ought to act in opposition to it. That is what you +really mean, Captain Aylmer; and upon my word I think that you are +right.' + +'No, Clara; that is not what I mean not exactly that. Indeed, just at +present I mean the reverse of that. There are some things on which a +man must act on his own judgment, irrespectively of the opinions of any +one else.' + +'Not of a mother, Captain Aylmer?' + +'Yes of a mother. That is to say, a man must do so. With a lady of +course it is different. I was very, very sorry that there should have +been any unpleasantness at Aylmer Park.' + +'It was not pleasant to me, certainly.' + +'Nor to any of us, Clara.' + +'At any rate, it need not be repeated.' + +'I hope not.' + +'No it certainly need not be repeated. I know now that I was wrong to +go to Aylmer Park. I felt sure beforehand that there were many things +as to which I could not possibly agree with Lady Aylmer, and I ought +not to have gone.' + +'I don't see that at all, Clara.' + +'I do see it now.' + +'I can't understand you. What things? Why should you be determined to +disagree with my mother? Surely you ought at any rate to endeavour to +think as she thinks.' + +'I cannot do that, Captain Aylmer.' + +'I am sorry to hear you speak in this way. I have come here all the way +from Yorkshire to try to put things straight between us; but you +receive me as though you would remember nothing but that unpleasant +quarrel.' + +'It was so unpleasant so very unpleasant! I had better speak out the +truth at once. I think that Lady Aylmer ill-used me cruelly. I do. No +one can talk me out of that conviction. Of course I am sorry to be +driven to say as much to you and I should never have said it, had you +not come here. But when you speak of me and your mother together, I +must say what I feel. Your mother and I, Captain Aylmer, are so opposed +to each other, not only in feeling, but in opinions also, that it is +impossible that we should be friends impossible that we should not be +enemies if we are brought together.' + +This she said with great energy, looking intently into his face as she +spoke. He was seated near her, on a chair from which he was leaning +over towards her, holding his hat in both hands between his legs. Now, +as he listened to her, he drew his chair still nearer, ridding himself +of his hat, which he left upon the carpet, and keeping his eyes upon +hers as though he were fascinated. 'I am sorry to hear you speak like +this,' he said. + +'It is best to say the truth.' + +'But, Clara, if you intend to be my wife' + +'Oh, no that is impossible now.' 'What is impossible?' + +'Impossible that I should become your wife. Indeed I have convinced +myself that you do not wish it.' + +'But I do wish it.' + +'No no. If you will question your heart about it quietly, you will find +that you do not wish it.' + +'You wrong me, Clara.' + +'At any rate it cannot be so.' + +'I will not take that answer from you,' he said, getting up from his +chair, and walking once up and down the room. Then he returned to it, +and repeated his words. 'I will not take that answer from you. An +engagement such as ours cannot be put aside like an old glove. You do +not mean to tell me that all that has been between us is to mean +nothing.' There was something now like feeling in his tone, something +like passion in his gesture, and Clara, though she had no thought of +changing her purpose, was becoming unhappy at the idea of his +unhappiness. + +'It has meant nothing,' she said. 'We have been like children together, +playing at being in love. It is a game from which you will come out +scatheless, but I have been scalded.' + +'Scalded!' + +'Well never mind. I do not mean to complain, and certainly not of you.' + +'I have come here all the way from Yorkshire in order that things may +be put right between us.' + +'You have been very good very good to come, and I will not say that I +regret your trouble. It is best, I think, that we should meet each +other once more face to face, so that we may understand each other. +There was no understanding anything during those terrible days at +Aylmer Park.' Then she paused, but as he did not speak at once she went +on. 'I do not blame you for anything that has taken place, but I am +quite sure of this that you and I could never be happy together as man +and wife.' + +'I do not know why you say so; I do not indeed.' + +'You would disapprove of everything that I should do. You do disapprove +of what I am doing now.' + +'Disapprove of what?' + +'I am staying with my friend, Mrs Askerton.' + +He felt that this was hard upon him. As she had shown herself inclined +to withdraw herself from him, he had become more resolute in his desire +to follow her up, and to hold by his engagement. He was not employed +now in giving her another chance as he had proposed to himself to do +but was using what eloquence he had to obtain another chance for +himself. Lady Aylmer had almost made him believe that Clara would be +the suppliant, but now he was the suppliant himself. In his anxiety to +keep her he was willing even to pass over her terrible iniquity in +regard to Mrs Askerton that great sin which had led to all these +troubles. He had once written to her about Mrs Askerton, using very +strong language, and threatening her with his mother's full +displeasure. At that time Mrs Askerton had simply been her friend. +There had been no question then of her taking refuge under that woman's +roof. Now she had repelled Lady Aylmer's counsels with scorn, was +living as a guest in Mrs Askerton's house; and yet he was willing to +pass over the Askerton difficulty without a word. He was willing not +only to condone past offences, but to wink at existing iniquity! But +she she who was the sinner, would not permit of this. She herself +dragged up Mrs Askerton's name, and seemed to glory in her own shame. + +'I had not intended,' said he, 'to speak of your friend.' + +'I only mention her to show how impossible it is that we should ever +agree upon some subjects as to which a husband and wife should always +be of one mind. I knew this from the moment in which I got your letter +and only that I was a coward I should have said so then.' + +'And you mean to quarrel with me altogether?' + +'No why should we quarrel?' + +'Why, indeed?' said he. + +'But I wish it to be settled quite settled, as from the nature of +things it must be, that there shall be no attempt at renewal of our +engagement. After what has passed, how could I enter your mother's +house?' + +'But you need not enter it.' Now, in his emergency he was willing to +give up anything everything. He had been prepared to talk her over into +a reconciliation with his mother, to admit that there had been faults +on both sides, to come down from his high pedestal and discuss the +matter as though Clara and his mother stood upon the same footing. +Having recognized the spirit of his lady-love, he had told himself that +so much indignity as that must be endured. But now, he had been carried +so far beyond this, that he was willing, in the sudden vehemence of his +love, to throw his mother over altogether, and to accede to any terms +which Clara might propose to him. 'Of course, I would wish you to be +friends,' he said, using now all the tones of a suppliant; 'but if you +found that it could not be so' + +'Do you think that I would divide you from your mother?' + +'There need be no question as to that.' + +'Ah there you are wrong. There must be such questions. I should have +thought of it sooner.' + +'Clara, you are more to me than my mother. Ten times more.' As he said +this he came up and knelt down beside her. 'You are everything to me. +You will not throw me over.' He was a suppliant indeed, and such +supplications are very potent with women. Men succeed often by the +simple earnestness of their prayers. Women cannot refuse to give that +which is asked for with so much of the vehemence of true desire. +'Clara, you have promised to be my wife. You have twice promised; and +can have no right to go back because you are displeased with what my +mother may have said. I am not responsible for my mother. Clara, say +that you will be my wife.' As he spoke he strove to take her hand, and +his voice sounded as though there were in truth something of passion in +his heart. + + +CHAPTER XXIX + +THERE IS NOTHING TO TELL + +Captain Aylmer had never before this knelt to Clara Amedroz. Such +kneeling on the part of lovers used to be the fashion because lovers in +those days held in higher value than they do now that which they asked +their ladies to give or because they pretended to do so. The forms at +least of supplication were used; whereas in these wiser days Augustus +simply suggests to Caroline that they two might as well make fools of +themselves together and so the thing is settled without the need of +much prayer. Captain Aylmer's engagement had been originally made +somewhat after this fashion. He had not, indeed, spoken of the thing +contemplated as a folly, not being a man given to little waggeries of +that nature; but he had been calm, unenthusiastic, and reasonable. He +bad not attempted to evince any passion, and would have been quite +content that Clara should believe that he married as much from +obedience to his aunt as from love for herself, had he not found that +Clara would not take him at all under such a conviction. But though she +had declined to come to him after that fashion though something more +than that had been needed still she had been won easily, and, +therefore, lightly prized. I fear that it is so with everything that we +value with our horses, our houses, our wines, and, above all, with our +women. Where is the man who has heart and soul big enough to love a +woman with increased force of passion because she has at once +recognized in him all that she has herself desired? Captain Aylmer +having won his spurs easily, had taken no care in buckling them, and +now found, to his surprise, that he was like to lose them. He had told +himself that he would only be too glad to shuffle his feet free of +their bondage; but now that they were going from him, he began to find +that they were very necessary for the road that he was to travel. +'Clara,' he said, kneeling by her side,' you are more to me than my +mother; ten times more!' + +This was all new to her. Hitherto, though she had never desired that he +should assume such attitude as this, she had constantly been +unconsciously wounded by his coldness by his cold propriety and +unbending self-possession. His cold propriety and unbending +self-possession were gone now, and he was there at her feet. Such an +argument, used at Aylmer Park, would have conquered her would have won +her at once, in spite of herself; but now she was minded to be +resolute. She had sworn to herself that she would not peril herself, or +him, by joining herself to a man with whom she had so little sympathy, +and who apparently had none with her. But in what way was she to answer +such a prayer as that which was now made to her? The man who addressed +her was entitled to use all the warmth of an accepted lover. He only +asked for that which had already been given to him. + +'Captain Aylmer ' she began. + +'Why is it to be Captain Aylmer? What have I done that you should use +me in this way? It was not I who who made you unhappy at Aylmer Park.' + +'I will not go back to that. It is of no use. Pray get up. It shocks me +to see you in this way.' + +'Tell me, then, that it is once more all right between us. Say that, +and I shall be happier than I ever was before yes, than I ever was +before. I know how much I love you now, how sore it would be to lose +you. I have been wrong. I had not thought enough of that, but I will +think of it now.' + +She found that the task before her was very difficult so difficult that +she almost broke down in performing it. It would have been so easy and, +for the moment, so pleasant to have yielded. He had his hand upon her +arm, having attempted to take her hand. In preventing that she had +succeeded, but she could not altogether make herself free from him +without rising. For a moment she had paused paused as though she were +about to yield. For a moment, as he looked into her eyes, he had +thought that he would again be victorious. Perhaps there was something +in his glance, some too visible return of triumph to his eyes, which +warned her of her danger. 'No!' she said, getting up and walking away +from him; 'no!' + +'And what does "no" mean, Clara?' Then he also rose, and stood leaning +on the table. 'Does it mean that you will be forsworn?' + +'It means this that I will not come between you and your mother; that I +will not be taken into a family in which I am scorned; that I will not +go to Aylmer Park myself or be the means of preventing you from going +there.' + +'There need be no question of Aylmer Park.' + +'There shall be none!' + +'But, so much being allowed, you will be my wife?' + +'No, Captain Aylmer no. I cannot be your wife. Do not press it further; +you must know that on such a subject I would think much before I +answered you. I have thought much, and I know that I am right.' + +'And your promised word is to go for nothing?' + +'If it will comfort you to say so, you may say it. If you do not +perceive that the mistake made between us has been as much your mistake +as mine, and has injured me more than it has injured you, I will not +remind you of it will never remind you of it after this.' + +'But there has been no mistake and there shall be no injury.' + +'Ah, Captain Aylmer you do not understand; you cannot understand. I +would not for worlds reproach you; but do you think I suffered nothing +from your mother?' + +'And must I pay for her sins?' + +'There shall be no paying, no punishment, and no reproaches. There +shall be none at least from me. But do not think that I speak in anger +or in pride I will not marry into Lady Aylmer's family.' + +'This is too bad too bad! After all that is past, it is too bad!' + +'What can I say? Would you advise me to do that which would make us +both wretched?' + +'It would not make me wretched. It would make me happy. It would +satisfy me altogether.' + +'It cannot be, Captain Aylmer. It cannot be. When I speak to you in +that way, will you not let it be final?' + +He paused a moment before he spoke again, and then he turned sharp upon +her. 'Tell me this, Clara; do you love me? Have you ever loved me?' She +did not answer him, but stood there, listening quietly to his +accusations. 'You have never loved me, and yet you have allowed +yourself to say that you did. Is not that true?' Still she did not +answer. 'I ask you whether that is not true?' But though he asked her, +and paused for an answer, looking the while full into her face, yet she +did not speak. And now I suppose you will become your cousin's wife?' +he said. 'It will suit you to change, and to say that you love him.' + +Then at last she spoke. 'I did not think that you would have treated me +in this way, Captain Aylmer! I did not expect that you would insult me!' + +'I have not insulted you.' + +'But your manner to me makes my task easier than I could have hoped it +to be. You asked me whether I ever loved you? I once thought that I did +so; and so thinking, told you, without reserve, all my feeling. When I +came to find that I had been mistaken, I conceived myself bound by my +engagement to rectify my own error as best I could; and I resolved, +wrongly as I now think, very wrongly that I could learn as your wife to +love you. Then came circumstances which showed me that a release would +be good for both of us, and which justified me in accepting it. No girl +could be bound by any engagement to a man who looked on and saw her +treated in his own home, by his own mother, as you saw me treated at +Aylmer Park. I claim to be released myself, and I know that this +release is as good for you as it is for me.' + +'I am the best judge of that.' + +'For myself at any rate I will judge. For myself I have decided. Now I +have answered the questions which you asked me as to my love for +yourself. To that other question which you have thought fit to put to +me about my cousin, I refuse to give any answer whatsoever.' Then, +having said so much, she walked out of the room, closing the door +behind her, and left him standing there alone. + +We need not follow her as she went up, almost mechanically, into her +own room the room that used to be her own and then shut herself in, +waiting till she should be assured, first by sounds in the house, and +then by silence, that he was gone. That she fell away greatly from the +majesty of her demeanour when she was thus alone, and descended to the +ordinary ways of troubled females, we may be quite sure. But to her +there was no further difficulty. Her work for the day was done. In due +time she would take herself to the cottage, and all would be well, or, +at any rate, comfortable with her. But what was he to do? How was he to +get himself out of the house, and take himself back to London? While he +had been in pursuit of her, and when he was leaving his vehicle at the +public- house in the village of Belton, he like some other invading +generals had failed to provide adequately for his retreat. When he was +alone he took a turn or two about the room, half thinking that Clara +would return to him. She could hardly leave him alone in a strange +house him, who, as he had twice told her, had come all the way from +Yorkshire to see her. But she did not return, and gradually he came to +understand that he must provide for his own retreat without assistance. +He was hardly aware, even now, how greatly he had transcended his usual +modes of speech and action, both in the energy of his supplication and +in the violence of his rebuke. He had been lifted for awhile out of +himself by the excitement of his position, and now that he was +subsiding into quiescence, he was unconscious that he had almost +mounted into passion that he had spoken of love very nearly with +eloquence. But he did recognize this as a fact that Clara was not to be +his wife, and that he had better get back from Belton to London as +quickly as possible. It would be well for him to teach himself to look +back on the result of his aunt's dying request as an episode in his +life satisfactorily concluded. His mother had undoubtedly been right. +Clara, he could see now, would have led him a devil of a life; and even +had she come to him possessed of a moiety of the property a supposition +as to which he had very strong doubts still she might have been dear at +the money. 'No real feeling,' he said to himself, as he walked about +the room 'none whatever; and then so deficient in delicacy!' But still +he was discontented because he had been rejected, and therefore tried +to make him. self believe that he could still have her if he chose to +persevere. 'But no,' he said, as he continued to pace the room, 'I have +done everything more than every. thing that honour demands. I shall not +ask her again. it is her own fault. She is an imperious woman, and my +mother read her character aright.' It did not occur to him, as he thus +consoled himself for what he had lost, that his mother's accusation +against Clara had been altogether of a different nature. When we +console ourselves by our own arguments, we are not apt to examine their +accuracy with much strictness. + +But whether he were consoled or not, it was necessary that he should +go, and in his going he felt himself to be ill-treated. He left the +room, and as he went downstairs was disturbed and tormented by the +creaking of his own boots. He tried to be dignified as he walked +through the hall, and was troubled at his failure, though he was not +conscious of any one looking at him. Then it was grievous that he +should have to let himself out of the front door without attendance. At +ordinary times he thought as little of such things as most men, and +would not be aware whether he opened a door for himself or had it +opened for him by another but now there was a distressing awkwardness +in the necessity for self-exertion. He did not know the turn of the +handle, and was unfamiliar with the manner of exit. He was being +treated with indignity, and before he had escaped from the house had +come to think that the Amedroz and Belton people were somewhat below +him. He endeavoured to go out without a noise, but there was a slam of +the door, without which he could not get the lock to work; and Clara, +up in her own room, knew all about it. + +'Carriage yes; of course I want the carnage,' he said to the +unfortunate boy at the public-house. 'Didn't you hear me say that I +wanted it?' He had come down with a pair of horses, and as he saw them +being put to the vehicle he wished he had been contented with one. As +he was standing there, waiting, a gentleman rode by, and the boy, in +answer to his question, told him that the horseman was Colonel +Askerton. Before the day was over Colonel Askerton would probably know +all that had happened to him. 'Do move a little quicker; will you?' he +said to the boy and the old man who was to drive him. Then he got into +the carriage, and was driven out of Belton, devoutly purposing that he +never would return; and as he made his way back to Perivale he thought +of a certain Lady Emily, who would, as he assured himself, have behaved +much better than Clara Amedroz had done in any such scene as that which +had just taken place. + +When Clara was quite sure that Captain Aylmer was off the premises, +she, too, descended, but she did not immediately leave the house. She +walked through the room, and rang for the old woman, and gave certain +directions as to the performance of which she certainly was not very +anxious, and was careful to make Mrs Bunce understand that nothing had +occurred between her and the gentleman that was either exalting or +depressing in its nature. 'I suppose Captain Aylmer went out, Mrs +Bunce?' 'Oh yes, miss, a went out. I stood and see'd un from the top of +the kitchen stairs.' 'You might have opened the door for him, Mrs +Bunce.' 'Indeed then I never thought of it, miss, seeing the house so +empty and the like.' Clara said that it did not signify; and then, +after an hour of composure, she walked back across the park to the +cottage. + +'Well?' said Mrs Askerton as soon as Clara was inside the drawing-room. + +'Well,' replied Clara. + +'What have you got to tell? Do tell me what you have to tell.' + +'I have nothing to tell.' + +'Clara, that is impossible. Have you seen him? I know you have seen +him, because he went by from the house about an hour since.' + +'Oh yes; I have seen him.' + +'And what have you said to him?' + +'Pray do not ask me these questions just now. I have got to think of it +all to think what he did say and what I said.' + +'But you will tell me.' + +'Yes; I suppose so.' Then Mrs Askerton was silent on the subject for +the remainder of the day, allowing Clara even to go to bed without +another question. And nothing was asked on the following morning +nothing till the usual time for the writing of letters. + +'Shall you have anything for the post?' said Mrs Askerton. + +'There is plenty of time yet.' + +'Not too much if you mean to go out at all. Come, Clara, you had better +write to him at once.' + +'Write to whom? I don't know that I have any letter to write at all.' +Then there was a pause. 'As far as I can see,' she said, 'I may give up +writing altogether for the future, unless some day you may care to hear +from me.' + +'But you are not going away.' + +'Not just yet if you will keep me. To tell you the truth, Mrs Askerton, +I do not yet know where on earth to take myself.' + +'Wait here till we turn you out.' + +'I have got to put my house in order. You know what I mean. The job +ought not to be a troublesome one, for it is a very small house.' + +'I suppose I know what you mean.' + +'It will not be a very smart establishment. But I must look it all in +the face; must I not? Though it were to be no house at all, I cannot +stay here all my life.' + +'Yes, you may. You have lost Aylmer Park because you were too noble not +to come to us.' + +'No,' said Clara, speaking aloud, with bright eyes almost with her +hands clenched. 'No I deny that.' + +'I shall choose to think so for my own purposes. Clara, you are savage +to me almost always savage; but next to him I love you better than all +the world beside. And so does he. "It's her courage," he said to me the +other day. "That she should dare to do as she pleases here, is nothing; +but to have dared to persevere in the fangs of that old dragon," it was +just what he said "that was wonderful!"' + +'There is an end of the old dragon now, so far as I am concerned.' + +'Of course there is and of the young dragon too. You wouldn't have had +the heart to keep me in suspense if you had accepted him again. You +couldn't have been so pleasant last night if that had been so.' + +'I did not know I was very pleasant.' + +'Yes, you were. You were soft and gracious gracious for you, at least. +And now, dear, do tell me about it. Of course I am dying to know.' + +'There is nothing to tell.' + +'That is nonsense. There must be a thousand things to tell. At any rate +it is quite decided?' + +'Yes; it is quite decided.' + +'All the dragons, old and young, are banished into outer darkness.' + +'Either that, or else they are to have all the light to themselves.' + +'Such light as glimmers through the gloom of Aylmer Park. And was he +contented? I hope not. I hope you had him on his knees before he left +you.' + +'Why should you hope that? How can you talk such nonsense?' + +'Because I wish that he should recognize what he has lost that he +should know that he has been a fool a mean fool.' + +'Mrs Askerton, I will not have him spoken of like that. He is a man +very estimable of estimable qualities.' + +'Fiddle-de-dee. He is an ape a monkey to be carried on his mother's +organ. His only good quality was that you could have carried him on +yours. I can tell you one thing there is not a woman breathing that +will ever carry William Belton on hers. Whoever his wife may be, she +will have to dance to his piping.' + +'With all my heart and I hope the tunes will be good.' + +'But I wish I could have been present to have heard what passed hidden, +you know, behind a curtain. You won't tell me?' + +'I will tell you not a word more.' + +'Then I will get it out from Mrs Bunce. I'll be bound she was +listening.' + +'Mrs Bunce will have nothing to tell you; I do not know why you should +be so curious.' + +'Answer me one question at least when it came to the last, did he want +to go on with it? Was the final triumph with him or with you?' + +'There was no final triumph. Such things, when they have to end, do not +end triumphantly.' + +'And is that to be all?' 'Yes that is to be all.' + +'And you say that you have no letter to write.' + +'None no letter; none at present; none about this affair. Captain +Aylmer, no doubt, will write to his mother, and then all those who are +concerned will have been told.' + +Clara Amedroz held her purpose and wrote no letter, but Mrs Askerton +was not so discreet, or so indiscreet as the case might be. She did +write not on that day or on the next, but before a week had passed by. +She wrote to Norfolk, telling Clara not a word of her letter, and by +return of post the answer came. But the answer was for Clara, not for +Mrs Askerton, and was as follows: + +'Plaistow Hall, April, 186 + +My dear Clara, + +I don't know whether I ought to tell you but I suppose I may as well +tell you, that Mary has had a letter from Mrs Askerton. It was a kind, +obliging letter, and I am very grateful to her. She has told us that +you have separated yourself altogether from the Aylmer Park people. I +don't suppose you'll think I ought to pretend to be very sorry. I can't +be sorry, even though I know how much you have lost in a worldly point +of view. I could not bring myself to like Captain Aylmer, though I +tried hard.' Oh Mr Belton, Mr Belton! 'He and I never could have been +friends, and it is no use my pretending regret that you have quarrelled +with them. But that, I suppose, is all over, and I will not say a word +more about the Aylmers. + +I am writing now chiefly at Mary's advice, and because she says that +something should be settled about the estate. Of course it is necessary +that you should feel yourself to be the mistress of your own income, +and understand exactly your own position. Mary says that this should be +arranged at once, so that you may be able to decide how and where you +will live. I therefore write to say that I will have nothing to do with +your father's estate at Belton nothing, that is, for myself. I have +written to Mr Green to tell him that you are to be considered as the +heir. If you will allow me to undertake the management of the property +as your agent, I shall be delighted. I think I could do it as well as +any one else: and, as we agreed that we would always be dear and close +friends, I think that you will not refuse me the pleasure of serving +you in this way. + +And now Mary has a proposition to make, as to which she will write +herself tomorrow, but she has permitted me to speak of it first. If you +will accept her as a visitor, she will go to you at Belton. She thinks, +and I think too, that you ought to know each other. I suppose nothing +would make you come here, at present, and therefore she must go to you. +She thinks that all about the estate would be settled more comfortably +if you two were together. At any rate, it would be very nice for her +and I think you would like my sister Mary. She proposes to start about +the 10th of May. I should take her as far as London and see her off, +and she would bring her own maid with her. In this way she thinks that +she would get as far as Taunton very well. She had, perhaps, better +stay there for one night, but that can all be settled if you will say +that you will receive her at the house. + +I cannot finish my letter without saying one word for myself. You know +what my feelings have been, and I think you know that they still are, +and always must be, the same. From almost the first moment that I saw +you I have loved you. When you refused me I was very unhappy; but I +thought I might still have a chance, and therefore I resolved to try +again. Then, when I heard that you were engaged to Captain Aylmer, I +was indeed broken-hearted. Of course I could not be angry with you. I +was not angry, but I was simply broken-hearted. I found that I loved +you so much that I could not make myself happy without you. It was all +of no use, for I knew that you were to be married to Captain Aylmer. I +knew it, or thought that I knew it. There was nothing to be done only I +knew that I was wretched. I suppose it is selfishness, but I felt, and +still feel, that unless I can have you for my wife, I cannot be happy +or car for anything. Now you are free again free, I mean, from Captain +Aylmer and how is it possible that I should not again have a hope? +Nothing but your marriage or death could keep me from hoping. + +I don't know much about the Aylmers. I know nothing of what has made +you quarrel with the people at Aylmer Park nor do I want to know. To me +you are once more that Clara Amedroz with whom I used to walk in Belton +Park, with your hand free to be given wherever your heart can go with +it. While it is free I shall always ask for it. I know that it is in +many ways above my reach. I quite understand that in education and +habits of thinking you are my superior. But nobody can love you better +than I do. I sometimes fancy that nobody could ever love you so well. +Mary thinks that I ought to allow a time to go by before I say all this +again but what is the use of keeping it back? It seems to me to be more +honest to tell you at once that the only thing in the world for which I +care one straw is that you should be my wife. + +Your most affectionate Cousin, + +'WILLIAM BELTON.' + +'Miss Belton is coming here, to the castle, in a fortnight,' said +Clara that morning at breakfast. Both Colonel Askerton and his wife +were in the room, and she was addressing herself chiefly to the former. + +'Indeed, Miss Belton! And is he coming?' said Colonel Askerton. + +'So you have heard from Plaistow?' said Mrs Askerton. + +'Yes in answer to your letter. No, Colonel Askerton, my Cousin William +is not coming. But his sister purposes to be here, and I must go up to +the house and get it ready.' + +'That will do when the time comes,' said Mrs Askerton. + +'I did not mean quite immediately.' + +'And are you to be her guest, or is she to be yours? said Colonel +Askerton. + +'It's her brother's home, and therefore I suppose I must be hers. +Indeed it must be so, as I have no means of entertaining any one,' + +'Something, no doubt, will be settled,' said the colonel. + +'Oh, what a weary word that is,' said Clara; 'weary, at least, for a +woman's ears! It sounds of poverty and dependence, and endless trouble +given to others, and all the miseries of female dependence. If I were a +young man I should be allowed to settle for myself.' + +'There would be no question about the property in that case,' said the +colonel. + +'And there need be no question now,' said Mrs Askerton. + +When the two women were alone together, Clara, of course, scolded her +friend for having written to Norfolk without letting it be known that +she was doing so scolded her, and declared how vain it was for her to +make useless efforts for an unattainable end; but Mrs Askerton always +managed to slip out of these reproaches, neither asserting herself to +be right, nor owning herself to be wrong. 'But you must answer his +letter,' she said. + +'Of course I shall do that.' + +'I wish I knew what he said.' + +'I shan't show it you, if you mean that.' + +'All the same I wish I knew what he said.' + +Clara, of course, did answer the letter; but she wrote her answer to +Mary, sending, however, one little scrap to Mary's brother. She wrote +to Mary at great length, striving to explain, with long and laborious +arguments, that it was quite impossible that she should accept the +Belton estate from her cousin. That subject, however, and the manner of +her future life, she would discuss with her dear Cousin Mary, when Mary +should have arrived. And then Clara said how she would go to Taunton to +meet her cousin, and how she would prepare William's house for the +reception of William's sister; and how she would love her cousin when +she should come to know her. All of which was exceedingly proper and +pretty. Then there was a little postscript, 'Give the enclosed to +William.' And this was the note to William: + +'Dear William, + +Did you not say that you would be my brother? Be my brother always. I +will accept from your hands all that a brother could do; and when that +arrangement is quite fixed, I will love you as much as Mary loves you, +and trust you as completely; and I will be obedient, as a younger +sister should be. + +Your loving Sister, C. A.' + +'It's all no good,' said William Belton, as he crunched the note in +his hand. 'I might as well shoot myself. Get out of the way there, will +you?' And the injured groom scudded across the farm-yard, knowing that +there was something wrong with his master. + + +CHAPTER XXX + +MARY BELTON + +It was about the middle of the pleasant month of May when Clara +Amedroz again made that often repeated journey to Taunton, with the +object of meeting Mary Belton. She had transferred herself and her own +peculiar belongings back from the cottage to the house, and had again +established herself there so that she might welcome her new friend. But +she was not satisfied with simply receiving her guest at Belton, and +therefore she made the journey to Taunton, and settled herself for the +night at the inn. She was careful to get a bedroom for an 'invalid +lady', close to the sitting-room, and before she went down to the +station she saw that the cloth was laid for tea, and that the tea +parlour had been made to look as pleasant as was possible with an inn +parlour. + +She was very nervous as she stood upon the platform waiting for the new +comer to show herself. She knew that Mary was a cripple, but did not +know how far her cousin was disfigured by her infirmity; and when she +saw a pale-faced little woman, somewhat melancholy, but yet pretty +withal, with soft, clear eyes, and only so much appearance of a stoop +as to soften the hearts of those who saw her, Clara was agreeably +surprised, and felt herself to be suddenly relieved of an unpleasant +weight. She could talk to the woman she saw there, as to any other +woman, without the painful necessity of treating her always as an +invalid. 'I think you are Miss Belton?' she said, holding out her hand. +The likeness between Mary and her brother was too great to allow of +Clara being mistaken. + +'And you are Clara Amedroz? It is so good of you to come to meet me!' + +'I thought you would be dull in a strange town by yourself.' + +'It will be much nicer to have you with me.' + +Then they went together up to the inn; and when they had taken their +bonnets off, Mary Belton kissed her cousin. 'You are very nearly what I +fancied you,' said Mary. + +'Am I? I hope you fancied me to be something that you could like.' + +'Something that I could love very dearly. You are a little taller than +what Will said; but then a gentleman is never a judge of a lady's +height. And he said you were thin.' + +'I am not very fat.' + +'No; not very fat; but neither are you thin. Of course, you know, I +have thought a great deal about you. It seems as though you had come to +be so very near to us; and blood is thicker than water, is it not? If +cousins are not friends, who can be?' + +In the course of that evening they became very confidential together, +and Clara thought that she could love Mary Belton better than any woman +that she had ever known. Of course they were talking about William, and +Clara was at first in constant fear lest some word should be said on +her lover's behalf some word which would drive her to declare that she +would not admit him as a lover; but Mary abstained from the subject +with marvellous care and tact. Though she was talking through the whole +evening of her brother, she so spoke of him as almost to make Clara +believe that she could not have heard of that episode in his life. Mrs +Askerton would have dashed at the subject at once; but then, as Clara +told herself, Mary Bolton was better than Mrs Askerton. + +A few words were said about the estate, and they originated in Clara's +declaration that Mary would have to be regarded as the mistress of the +house to which they were going. 'I cannot agree to that,' said Mary. + +'But the house is William's, you know,' said Clara. + +'He says not.' + +'But of course that must be nonsense, Mary.' + +'It is very evident that you know nothing of Plaistow ways, or you +would not say that anything coming from William was nonsense. We are +accustomed to regard all his words as law, and when he says that a +thing is to be so, it always is so.' + +'Then he is a tyrant at home.' + +'A beneficent despot. Some despots, you know, always were beneficent.' + +'He won't have his way in this thing.' + +'I'll leave you and him to fight about that, my dear. I am so +completely under his thumb that I always obey him in everything. You +must not, therefore, expect to range me on your side.' + +The next day they were at Belton Castle, and in a very few hours Clara +felt that she was quite at home with her cousin. On the second day Mrs +Askerton came up and called according to an arrangement to that effect +made between her and Clara. I'll stay away if you like it,' Mrs +Askerton had said. But Clara had urged her to come, arguing with her +that she was foolish to be thinking always of her own misfortune. 'Of +course I am always thinking of it,' she had replied, and always +thinking that other people are thinking of it. Your cousin, Miss +Belton, knows all my history, of course, But what matters? I believe it +would be better that everybody should know it. I suppose she's very +straight-laced and prim.'She is not prim at all,' said Clara. 'Well, +I'll come,' said Mrs Askerton, 'but I shall not be a bit surprised if I +hear that she goes back to Norfolk the next day.' + +So Mrs Askerton came, and Miss Belton did not go back to Norfolk. +Indeed, at the end of the visit, Mrs Askerton had almost taught herself +to believe that William Belton had kept his secret, even from his +sister. 'She's a dear little woman,' Mrs Askerton afterwards said to +Clara. + +'Is she not?' + +'And so thoroughly like a lady.' + +'Yes; I think she is a lady.' + +'A princess among ladies! What a pretty little conscious way she has of +asserting herself when she has an opinion and means to stick to it! I +never saw a woman who got more strength out of her weakness. Who would +dare to contradict her?' + +'But then she knows everything so well,' said Clara. + +'And how like her brother she is!' + +'Yes there is a great family likeness.' + +'And in character, too. I'm sure you'd find, if you were to try her, +that she has all his personal firmness, though she can't show it as he +does by kicking out his feet and clenching his fist.' + +'I'm glad you like her,' said Clara. + +'I do like her very much.' + +'It is so odd the way you have changed. You used to speak of him as +though he was merely a clod of a farmer, and of her as a stupid old +maid. Now, nothing is too good to say of them.' + +'Exactly, my dear and if you do not understand why, you are not so +clever as I take you to be.' + +Life went on very pleasantly with them at Belton for two or three weeks +but with this drawback as regarded Clara, that she had no means of +knowing what was to be the course of her future life. During these +weeks she twice received letters from her Cousin Will, and answered +both of them. But these letters referred to matters of business which +entailed no contradiction to certain details of money due to the estate +before the old squire's death, and to that vexed question of Aunt +Winterfield's legacy, which had by this time drifted into Belton's +hands, and as to which he was inclined to act in accordance with his +cousin's wishes, though he was assured by Mr Green that the legacy was +as good a legacy as had ever been left by an old woman. 'I think,' he +said in his last letter,' that we shall be able to throw him over in +spite of Mr Green.' Clara, as she read this, could not but remember +that the man to be thrown over was the man to whom she had been +engaged, and she could not but remember also all the circumstances of +the intended legacy of her aunt's death, and of the scenes which had +immediately followed her death. It was so odd that William Belton +should now be discussing with her the means of evading all her aunt's +intentions and that he should be doing so, not as her accepted lover. +He had, indeed, called himself her brother, but he was in truth her +rejected lover. + +>From time to time during these weeks Mrs Askerton would ask her +whether Mr Belton was coming to Belton, and Clara would answer her with +perfect truth that she did not believe that he had any such intention. +'But he must come soon,' Mrs Askerton would say. And when Clara would +answer that she knew nothing about it, Mrs Askerton would ask further +questions about Mary Belton. 'Your cousin must know whether her brother +is coming to look after the property?' But Miss Belton, though she +heard constantly from her brother, gave no such intimation. If he had +any intention of coming, she did not speak of it. During all these days +she had not as yet said a word of her brother's love. Though his name +was daily in her mouth and latterly, was frequently mentioned by Clara +there had been no allusion to that still enduring hope of which Will +Belton himself could not but speak when he had any opportunity of +speaking at all. And this continued till at last Clara was driven to +suppose that Mary Belton knew nothing of her brother's hopes. + +But at last there came a change a change which to Clara was as great as +that which had affected her when she first found that her delightful +cousin was not sale against love-making. She had made up her mind that +the sister did not intend to plead for her brother that the sister +probably knew nothing of the brother's necessity for pleading that the +brother probably had no further need for pleading When she remembered +his last passionate words, she could not but accuse herself of +hypocrisy when she allowed place in her thoughts to this latter +supposition. He had been so intently earnest! The nature of the man was +so eager and true! But yet, in spite of all that bad been said, of all +the fire in his eyes, and life in his words, and energy in his actions, +he had at last seen that his aspirations were foolish, and his desires +vain. It could not otherwise be that she and Mary should pass these +hours in such calm repose without an allusion to the disturbing +subject! After this fashion, and with such meditations as these, had +passed by the last weeks and then at last there came the change. + +'I have had a letter from William this morning,' said Mary. + +'And so have not I,' said Clara, and yet I expect to hear from him.' + +'He means to be here soon,' said Mary. + +'Oh, indeed! + +'He speaks of being here next week.' + +For a moment or two Clara had yielded to the agitation caused by her +cousin's tidings; but with a little gush she recovered her presence of +mind, and was able to speak with all the hypocritical propriety of a +female. 'I am glad to hear it,' she said. 'It is only right that he +should come.' + +'He has asked me to say a word to you as to the purport of his journey.' + +Then again Clara's courage and hypocrisy were so far subdued that they +were not able to maintain her in a position adequate to the occasion. +'Well,' she said laughing, 'what is the word? I hope it is not that I +am to pack up, bag and baggage, and take myself elsewhere. Cousin +William is one of those persons who are willing to do everything except +what they are wanted to do. He will go on talking about the Belton +estate, when I want to know whether I may really look for as much as +twelve shillings a week to live upon.' + +'He wants me to speak to you about about the earnest love he bears for +you.' + +'Oh dear! Mary could you not suppose it all to be said? It is an old +trouble, and need not be repeated.' + +'No,' said Mary, 'I cannot suppose it to be all said.' Clara looking up +as she heard the voice, was astonished both by the fire in the woman's +eye and by the force of her tone. 'I will not think so meanly of you as +to believe that such words from such a man can be passed by as meaning +nothing. I will not say that you ought to be able to love him; in that +you cannot control your heart; but if you cannot love him, the want of +such love ought to make you suffer to suffer much and be very sad.' + +'I cannot agree to that, Mary.' + +'Is all his life nothing, then? Do you know what love means with him +this love which he bears to you? Do you understand that it is +everything to him? that from the first moment in which he acknowledged +to himself that his heart was set upon you, he could not bring himself +to set it upon any other thing for a moment? Perhaps you have never +understood this; have never perceived that he is so much in earnest, +that to him it is more than money, or land, or health more than life +itself that he so loves that he would willingly give everything that he +has for his love? Have you known this?' + +Clara would not answer these questions for a while. What if she had +known it all, was she therefore bound to sacrifice herself? Could it be +the duty of any woman to give herself to a man simply because a man +wanted her? That was the argument as it was put forward now by Mary +Belton. + +'Dear, dearest Clara,' said Mary Belton, stretching herself forward +from her chair, and putting out her thin, almost transparent, hand, 'I +do not think that you have thought enough of this; or, perhaps, you +have not known it. But his love for you is as I say. To him it is +everything. It pervades every hour of every day, every corner in his +life! He knows nothing of anything else while he is in his present +state.' + +'He is very good more than good.' + +'He is very good.' + +'But I do not see that that Of course I know how disinterested he is.' + +'Disinterested is a poor word. It insinuates that in such a matter +there could be a question of what people call interest.' + +'And I know, too, how much he honours me.' + +'Honour is a cold word. It is not honour, but love downright true, +honest love. I hope he does honour you. I believe you to be an honest, +true woman; and, as he knows you well, he probably does honour you but +I am speaking of love.' Again Clara was silent. She knew what should be +her argument if she were determined to oppose her cousin's pleadings; +and she knew also she thought she knew that she did intend to oppose +them; but there was a coldness in the argument to which she was averse. +'You cannot be insensible to such love as that!' said Mary, going on +with the cause which she had in hand. + +'You say that he is fond of me.' + +'Fond of you! I have not used such trifling expressions as that.' + +'That he loves me.' + +'You know he loves you. Have you ever doubted a word that he has spoken +to you on any subject?' + +'I believe he speaks truly.' + +'You know he speaks truly. He is the very soul of truth.' + +'But, Mary' + +'Well, Clara! But remember; do not answer me lightly. Do not play with +a man's heart because you have it in your power.' + +'You wrong me. I could never do like that. You tell me that he loves me +but what if I do not love him? Love will not be constrained. Am I to +say that I love him because I believe that he loves me?' + +This was the argument, and Clara found herself driven to use it not so +much from its special applicability to herself, as on account of its +general fitness. Whether it did or did not apply to herself she had no +time to ask herself at that moment; but she felt that no man could have +a right to claim a woman's hand on the strength of his own love unless +he had been able to win her love. She was arguing on behalf of women in +general rather than on her own behalf. + +'If you mean to tell me that you cannot love him, of course I must give +over,' said Mary, not caring at all for men and women in general, but +full of anxiety for her brother. 'Do you mean to say that that you can +never love him?' It almost seemed, from her face, that she was +determined utterly to quarrel with her new-found cousin to quarrel and +to go at once away if she got an answer that would not please her. + +'Dear Mary, do not press me so hard.' + +'But I want to press you hard. It is not right that he should lose his +life in longing and hoping.' + +'He will not lose his life, Mary.' + +'I hope not not not if I can help it. I trust that he will be strong +enough to get rid of his trouble to put it down and trample it under +his feet.' Clara, as she heard this, began to ask herself what it was +that was to be trampled under Will's feet. 'I think he will be man +enough to overcome his passion; and then, perhaps you may regret what +you have lost.' + +'Now you are unkind to me.' + +'Well; what would you have me say? Do I not know that he is offering +you the best gift that he can give? Did I not begin by swearing to you +that he loved you with a passion of love that cannot but be flattering +to you? If it is to be love in vain, this to him is a great misfortune. +And, yet, when I say that I hope that he will recover, you tell me that +I am unkind.' + +'No not for that.' + +'May I tell him to come and plead for himself?' + +Again Clara was silent, not knowing how to answer that last question. +And when she did answer it, she answered it thoughtlessly. 'Of course +he knows that he can do that.' + +'He says that he has been forbidden.' + +'Oh, Mary, what am I to say to you? You know it all, and I wonder that +you can continue to question me in this way.' + +'Know all what?' + +'That I have been engaged to Captain Aylmer.' + +'But you are not engaged to him now.' + +'No I am not.' + +'And there can be no renewal there, I suppose?' + +'Oh, no!' + +'Not even for my brother would I say a word if I thought' + +'No there is nothing of that; but If you cannot understand, I do not +think that I can explain it.' It seemed to Clara that her cousin, in +her anxiety for her brother, did not conceive that a woman, even if she +could suddenly transfer her affections from one man to another, could +not bring herself to say that she had done so. + +'I must write to him today,' said Mary, 'and I must give him some +answer. Shall I tell him that he had better not come here till you are +gone?' + +'That will perhaps be best,' said Clara. + +'Then he will never come at all.' + +'I can go can go at once. I will go at once. You shall never have to +say that my presence prevented his coming to his own house. I ought not +to be here. I know it now. I will go away, and you may tell him that I +am gone.' + +'No, dear; you will not go.' + +'Yes I must go. I fancied things might be otherwise, because he once +told me that he would be a brother to me. And I said I would hold him +to that not only because I want a brother so badly, but because I love +him so dearly. But it cannot be like that.' + +'You do not think that he will ever desert you?' + +'But I will go away, so that he may come to his own house. I ought not +to be here. Of course I ought not to be at Belton either in this house +or in any other. Tell him that I will be gone before he can come, and +tell him also that I will not be too proud to accept from him what it +may be fit that he should give me. I have no one but him no one but him +no one but him.' Then she burst into tears, and throwing hack her head, +covered her face with her hands. + +Miss Belton, upon this, rose slowly from the chair on which she was +sitting, and making her way painfully across to Clara, stood leaning on +the weeping girl's chair. 'You shall not go while I am here,' she said. + +'Yes; I must go. He cannot come till I am gone.' + +'Think of it all once again, Clara. May I not tell him to come, and +that while he is coming you will see if you cannot soften your heart +towards him?' + +'Soften my heart! Oh, if I could only harden it!' + +'He would wait. If you would only hid him wait, he would be so happy in +waiting.' + +'Yes till tomorrow morning. I know him. Hold out your little finger to +him, and he has your whole hand and arm in a moment.' + +'I want you to say that you will try to love him.' + +But Clara was in truth trying not to love him. She was ashamed of +herself because she did love the one man, when, but a few weeks since, +she had confessed that she loved another. She had mistaken herself and +her own feelings, not in reference to her cousin, but in supposing that +she could really have sympathized with such a man as Captain Aylmer. It +was necessary to her self-respect that she should be punished because +of that mistake. She could not save herself from this condemnation she +would not grant herself a respite because, by doing so, she would make +another person happy. Had Captain Aylmer never crossed her path, she +would have given her whole heart to her cousin. Nay; she had so given +it had done so, although Captain Aylmer had crossed her path and come +in her way. But it was matter of shame to her to find that this had +been possible, and she could not bring herself to confess her shame. + +The conversation at last ended, as such conversations always do end, +without any positive decision. Mary wrote of course to her brother, but +Clara was not told of the contents of the letter. We, however, may know +them, and may understand their nature, without learning above two lines +of the letter. 'If you can be content to wait awhile, you will +succeed,' said Mary; 'but when were you ever content to wait for +anything?' ' If there is anything I hate, it is waiting,' said Will, +when he received the letter; nevertheless the letter made him happy, +and he went about his farm with a sanguine heart, as he arranged +matters for another absence. 'Away long?' he said, in answer to a +question asked him by his head man; 'how on earth can I say how long I +shall be away? You can go on well enough without me by this time, I +should think. You will have to learn, for there is no knowing how often +I may be away, or for how long.' + +When Mary said that the letter had been written, Clara again spoke +about going. 'And where will you go?' said Mary. + +'I will take a lodging in Taunton.' + +'He would only follow you there, and there would be more trouble. That +would be all. He must act as your guardian, and in that capacity, at +any rate, you must submit to him.' Clara, therefore, consented to +remain at Belton; but, before Will arrived, she returned from the house +to the cottage. + +'Of course I understand all about it,' said Mrs Askerton; 'and let me +tell you this that if it is not all settled within a week from his +coming here, I shall think that you are without a heart. He is to be +knocked about, and cuffed, and kept from his work, and made to run up +and down between here and Norfolk, because you cannot bring yourself to +confess that you have been a fool.' + +'I have never said that I have not been a fool,' said Clara. + +'You have made a mistake as young women will do sometimes, even when +they are as prudent and circumspect as you are and now you don't quite +like the task of putting it right.' + +It was all true, and Clara knew that it was true. The putting right of +mistakes is never pleasant; and in this case it was so unpleasant that +she could not bring herself to acknowledge that it must be done. And +yet, I think that, by this time, she was aware of the necessity. + + +CHAPTER XXXI + +TAKING POSSESSION + +'I want her to have it all,' said William Belton to Mr Green, the +lawyer, when they came to discuss the necessary arrangements for the +property. + +'But that would be absurd.' + +'Never mind. It is what I wish. I suppose a man may do what he likes +with his own.' + +'She won't take it,' said the lawyer. + +'She must take it, if you manage the matter properly,' said Will. + +'I don't suppose it will make much difference,' said the lawyer 'now +that Captain Aylmer is out of the running.' + +'I know nothing about that. Of course I am very glad that he should be +out of the running, as you call it. He is a bad sort of fellow, and I +didn't want him to have the property. But all that has had nothing to +do with it. I'm not doing it because I think she is ever to be my wife.' + +>From this the reader will understand that Belton was still fidgeting +himself and the lawyer about the estate when he passed through London. +The matter in dispute, however, was so important that he was induced to +seek the advice of others besides Mr Green, and at last was brought to +the conclusion that it was his paramount duty to become Belton of +Belton. There seemed in the minds of all these councillors to be some +imperative and almost imperious requirement that the acres should go +back to a man of his name. Now, as there was no one else of the family +who could stand in his way, he had no alternative but to become Belton +of Belton. He would, however, sell his estate in Norfolk, and raise +money for endowing Clara with commensurate riches. Such was his own +plan but having fallen among counsellors he would not exactly follow +his own plan, and at last submitted to an arrangement in accordance +with which an annuity of eight hundred pounds a year was to be settled +upon Clara, and this was to lie as a charge upon the estate in Norfolk. + +'It seems to me to be very shabby,' said William Belton. + +'It seems to me to be very extravagant,' said the leader among the +counsellors. 'She is net entitled to sixpence.' + +But at last the arrangement as above described was the one to which +they all assented. + +When Belton reached the house which was now his own he found no one +there but his sister. Clara was at the cottage. As he had been told +that she was to return there, he had no reason to be annoyed. But, +nevertheless, he was annoyed, or rather discontented, and had not been +a quarter of an hour about the place before he declared his intention +to go and seek her. + +'Do no such thing, Will; pray do not,' said his sister. + +'And why not?' + +'Because it will be better that you should wait. You will only injure +yourself and her by being impetuous.' + +'But it is absolutely necessary that she should know her own position. +It would be cruelty to keep her in ignorance though for the matter of +that I shall be ashamed to tell her. Yes I shall be ashamed to look her +in the face. What will she think of it after I had assured her that she +should have the whole?' + +'But she would not have taken it, Will. And had she done so, she would +have been very wrong. Now she will be comfortable.' + +'I wish I could be comfortable,' said he. + +'If you will only wait' + +'I hate waiting. I do not see what good it will do. Besides, I don't +mean to say anything about that not today, at least. I don t indeed. As +for being here and not seeing her, that is out of the question. Of +course she would think that I had quarrelled with her, and that I meant +to take everything to myself, now that I have the power.' + +'She won't suspect you of wishing to quarrel with her, Will' + +'I should in her place. It is out of the question that I should be +here, and not go to her. It would be monstrous. I will wait till they +have done lunch, and then I will go up.' + +It was at last decided that he should walk up to the cottage, call upon +Colonel Askerton, and ask to see Clara in the colonel's presence. It +was thought that he could make his statement about the money better +before a third person who could be regarded as Clara's friend, than +could possibly be done between themselves. He did, therefore, walk +across to the cottage, and was shown into Colonel Askerton's study. + +'There he is,' Mrs Askerton said, as soon as she heard the sound of the +bell. 'I knew that he would come at once.' + +During the whole morning Mrs Askerton had been insisting that Belton +would make his appearance on that very day the day of his arrival at +Belton, and Clara had been asserting that he would not do so. + +'Why should he come?' Clara had said. + +'Simply to take you to his own house, like any other of his goods and +chattels.' + +'I am not his goods or his chattels.' + +'But you soon will be; and why shouldn't you accept your lot quietly? +He is Belton of Belton, and everything here belongs to him.' + +'I do not belong to him.' + +'What nonsense! When a man has the command of the situation, as he has, +he can do just what he pleases. If he were to come and carry you off by +violence, I have no doubt the Beltonians would assist him, and say that +he was right. And you of course would forgive him. Belton of Belton may +do anything.' + +'That is nonsense, if you please.' + +'Indeed if you had any of that decent feeling of feminine inferiority +which ought to belong to all women, he would have found you sitting on +the doorstep of his house waiting for him.' + +That had been said early in the morning, when they first knew that he +had arrived; but they had been talking about him ever since talking +about him under pressure from Mrs Askerton, till Clara had been driven +to long that she might be spared. 'If he chooses to come, he will +come,' she said. 'Of course he will come,' Mrs Askerton had answered, +and then they heard the ring of the hell. 'There he is. I could swear +to the sound of his foot. Doesn't he step as though he were Belton of +Belton, and conscious that everything belonged to him?' Then there was +a pause. 'He has been shown in to Colonel Askerton. What on earth could +he want with him?' + +'He has called to tell him something about the cottage,' said Clara, +endeavouring to speak as though she were calm through it all. + +'Cottage! Fiddlestick! The idea of a man coming to look after his +trumpery cottage on the first day of his showing himself as lord of his +own property! Perhaps he is demanding that you shall be delivered up to +him. If he does I shall vote for obeying.' + +'And I for disobeying and shall vote very strongly too.' + +Their suspense was yet prolonged for another ten minutes, and at the +end of that time the servant came in and asked if Miss Amedroz would be +good enough to go into the master's room. 'Mr Belton is there, Fanny?' +asked Mrs Askerton. The girl confessed that Mr Belton was there, and +then Clara, without another word, got up and left the room. She had +much to do in assuming a look of composure before she opened the door; +but she made the effort, and was not unsuccessful. In another second +she found her hand in her cousin's, and his bright eye was fixed upon +her with that eager friendly glance which made his face so pleasant to +those whom he loved. + +'Your cousin has been telling me of the arrangements he has been making +for you with the lawyers,' said Colonel Askerton. 'I can only say that +I wish all the ladies had cousins so liberal, and so able to be +liberal.' + +'I thought I would see Colonel Askerton first, as you are staying at +his house. And as for liberality there is nothing of the kind. You must +understand, Clara, that a fellow can't do what he likes with his own in +this country. I have found myself so bullied by lawyers and that sort +of people, that I have been obliged to yield to them. I wanted that you +should have the old place, to do just what you pleased with It.' + +'That was out of the question, Will.' + +'Of course it was,' said Colonel Askerton. Then, as Belton himself did +not proceed to the telling of his own story, the colonel told it for +him, and explained what was the income which Clara was to receive. + +'But that is as much out of the question,' said she, 'as the other. I +cannot rob you in that way. I cannot and I shall not. And why should I? +What do I want with an income? Something I ought to have, if only for +the credit of the family, and that I am willing to take from your +kindness; but' + +'It's all settled now, Clara.' + +'I don't think that you can lessen the weight of your obligation, Miss +Amedroz, after what has been done up in London,' said the colonel. + +'If you had said a hundred a year' + +'I have been allowed to say nothing,' said Belton; 'those people have +said eight and so it is settled. When are you coming over to see Mary?' + +To this question he got no definite answer, and as he went away +immediately afterwards he hardly seemed to expect one. He did not even +ask for Mrs Askerton, and as that lady remarked, behaved altogether +like a bear. 'But what a munificent bear!' she said. 'Fancy eight +hundred a year of your own. One begins to doubt whether it is worth +one's while to marry at all with such an income as that to do what one +likes with! However, it all means nothing. It will all be his own again +before you have even touched it.' + +'You must not say anything more about that,' said Clara gravely. + +'And why must I not?' + +'Because I shall hear nothing more of it. There is an end of all that +as there ought to be.' + +'Why an end? I don't see an end. There will be no end till Belton of +Belton has got you and your eight hundred a year as well as everything +else.' + +'You will find that he does not mean anything more,' said Clara. + +'You think not?' + +'I am sure of it.' Then there was a little sound in her throat as +though she were in some danger of being choked; but she soon recovered +herself, and was able to express herself clearly. 'I have only one +favour to ask you now, Mrs Askerton, and that is that you will never +say anything more about him. He has changed his mind. Of course he has, +or he would not come here like that and have gone away without saying a +word.' + +'Not a word! A man gives you eight hundred a year and that is not +saying a word!' + +'Not a word except about money! But of course he is right. I know that +he is right. Alter what has passed he would be very wrong to to think +about it any more. You joke about his being Belton of Belton. But it +does make a difference.' + +'It does does it?' + +'It has made a difference. I see and feel it now. I shall never hear +him ask me that question any more.' + +'And if you did hear him, what answer would you make him?' + +'I don't know.' + +'That is just it. Women are so cross-grained that it is a wonder to me +that men should ever have any. thing to do with them. They have about +them some madness of a phantasy which they dignify with the name of +feminine pride, and under the cloak of this they believe themselves to +be justified in tormenting their lovers' lives out. The only +consolation is that they torment themselves as much. Can anything be +more cross-grained than you are at this moment? You were resolved just +now that it would be the most unbecoming thing in the world if he spoke +a word more about his love for the next twelve months' + +'Mrs Askerton, I said nothing about twelve months.' + +'And now you are broken-hearted because he did not blurt it all out +before Colonel Askerton in a business interview, which was very +properly had at once, and in which he has had the exceeding good taste +to confine himself altogether to the one subject.' + +'I am not complaining.' + +'It was good taste; though if he had not been a bear he might have +asked after me, who am fighting his battles for him night and day.' + +'But what will he do next?' + +'Eat his dinner, I should think, as it is now nearly five o'clock. Your +father used always to dine at five.' + +'I can't go to see Mary,' she said, 'till he comes here again.' + +'He will be here fast enough. I shouldn't wonder if he was to come here +tonight.' And he did come again that night. + +When Belton's interview was over in the colonel's study, he left the +house without even asking after the mistress, as that mistress had +taken care to find out and went off, rambling about the estate which +was now his own. It was a beautiful place, and he was not insensible to +the gratification of being its owner. There is much in the glory of +ownership of the ownership of land and houses, of beeves and woolly +flocks, of wide fields and thick-growing woods, even when that +ownership is of late date, when it conveys to the owner nothing but the +realization of a property on the soil; but there is much more in it +when it contains the memories of old years; when the glory is the glory +of race as well as the glory of power and property. There had been +Beltons of Belton living there for many centuries, and now he was the +Belton of the day, standing on his own ground the descendant and +representative of the Beltons of old Belton of Belton without a flaw in +his pedigree! He felt himself to be proud of his position prouder than +he could have been of any other that might have been vouchsafed to him. +And yet amidst it all he was somewhat ashamed of his pride. 'The man +who can do it for himself is the real man after all,' he said. 'But I +have got it by a fluke and by such a sad chance too!' Then he wandered +on, thinking of the circumstances under which the property had fallen +into his hands, and remembering how and when and where the first idea +had occurred to him of making Clara Amedroz his wife. He had then felt +that if he could only do that he could reconcile himself to the +heirship. And the idea had grown upon him instantly, and had become a +passion by the eagerness with which he had welcomed it. From that day +to this he had continued to tell himself that he could not enjoy his +good fortune unless he could enjoy it with her. There had come to be a +horrid impediment in his way a barrier which had seemed to have been +placed there by his evil fortune, to compensate the gifts given to him +by his good fortune, and that barrier had been Captain Aylmer. He had +not, in fact, seen much of his rival, but he had seen enough to make it +matter of wonder to him that Clara could be attached to such a man. He +had thoroughly despised Captain Aylmer, and had longed to show his +contempt of the man by kicking him out of the hotel at the London +railway station. At that moment all the world had seemed to him to be +wrong and wretched. + +But now it seemed that all the world might so easily be made right +again! The impediment had got itself removed. Belton did not even yet +altogether comprehend by what means Clara had escaped from the meshes +of the Aylmer Park people, but he did know that she had escaped. Her +eyes had been opened before it was too late, and she was a free woman +to be compassed if only a man might compass her. While she had been +engaged to Captain Aylmer, Will had felt that she was not assailable. +Though he had not been quite able to restrain himself as on that fatal +occasion when he had taken her in his arms and kissed her still he had +known that as she was an engaged woman, he could not, without insulting +her, press his own suit upon her. But now all that was over. Let him +say what he liked on that head, she would have no proper plea for +anger. She was assailable and, as this was so, why the mischief should +he not set about the work at once? His sister bade him wait. Why should +he wait when one fortunate word might do it? Wait! He could not wait. +How are you to bid a starving man to wait when you put him down at a +well-covered board? Here was he, walking about Belton Park just where +she used to walk with him and there was she at Belton Cottage, within +half an hour of him at this moment, if he were to go quickly; and yet +Mary was telling him to wait! No; he would not wait. There could be no +reason for waiting. Wait, indeed, till some other Captain Aylmer should +come in the way and give him more trouble! + +So he wandered on, resolving that he would see his cousin again that +very day. Such an interview as that which had just taken place between +two such dear friends was not natural was not to be endured. What might +not Clara think of it! To meet her for the first time after her escape +from Aylmer Park, and to speak to her only on matters concerning money! +He would certainly go to her again on that afternoon. In his walking he +came to the bottom of the rising ground on the top of which stood the +rock on which he and Clara had twice sat. But he turned away, and would +not go up to it. He hoped that he might go up to it very soon but, +except under certain dream. stances, he would never go up to it again. + +'I am going across to the cottage immediately after dinner,' he said to +his sister. + +'Have you an appointment?' + +'No; I have no appointment. I suppose a man doesn't want an appointment +to go and see his own cousin down in the country.' + +'I don't know what their habits are.' + +'I shan't ask to go in; but I want to see her.' + +Mary looked at him with loving, sorrowing eyes, but she said no more. +She loved him so well that she would have given her right hand to get +for him what he wanted but she sorrowed to think that he should want +such a thing so sorely. Immediately after his dinner, he took his hat +and went out without saying a word further, and made his way once more +across to the gate of the cottage. It was a lovely summer evening, at +that period of the year in which our summer evenings just begin, when +the air is sweeter and the flowers more fragrant, and the forms of the +foliage more lovely than at any other time. it was now eight o'clock, +but it was hardly as yet evening; none at least of the gloom of evening +had come, though the sun was low in the heavens. At the cottage they +were all sitting out on the lawn; and as Belton came near he was seen +by them, and he saw them. + +'I told you so,' said Mrs Askerton, to Clara, in a whisper. + +'He is not coming in,' Clara answered. 'He is going on.' + +But when he had come nearer, Colonel Askerton called to him over the +garden paling, and asked him to join them. He was now standing within +ten or fifteen yards of them, though the fence divided them. 'I have +come to ask my Cousin Clara to take a walk with me,' he said. 'She can +be back by your tea time.' He made his request very placidly, and did +not in any way look like a lover. + +'I am sure she will be glad to go,' said Mrs Askerton. But Clara said +nothing. + +'Do take a turn with me, if you are not tired,' said he. + +'She has not been out all day, and cannot be tired,' said Mrs Askerton, +who had now walked up to the paling. 'Clara, get your hat. But, Mr +Belton, what have I done that I am to be treated in this way? Perhaps +you don't remember that you have not spoken to me since your arrival.' + +'Upon my word, I beg your pardon,' said he, endeavouring to stretch his +hand across the bushes. + +'I forgot I didn't see you this morning.' + +'I suppose I musn't be angry, as this is your day of taking possession; +but it is exactly on such days as this that one likes to be remembered.' + +'I didn't mean to forget you, Mrs Askerton; I didn't, indeed. And as +for the special day, that's all bosh, you know. I haven't taken +particular possession of anything that I know of.' + +'I hope you will, Mr Belton, before the day is over,' said she. Clara +had at length arisen, and had gone into the house to fetch her hat. She +had not spoken a word, and even yet her cousin did not know whether she +was coming. 'I hope you will take possession of a great deal that is +very valuable. Clara has gone to get her hat.' + +'Do you think she means to walk?' + +'I think she does, Mr Belton. And there she is at the door. Mind you +bring her back to tea.' + +Clara, as she came forth, felt herself quite unable to speak, or walk, +or look after her usual manner. She knew herself to be a victim to be +so far a victim that she could no longer control her own fate. To +Captain Aylmer, at any rate, she had never succumbed. In all her +dealings with him she had fought upon an equal footing. She had never +been compelled to own herself mastered. But now she was being led out +that she might confess her own submission, and acknowledge that +hitherto she had not known what was good for her. She knew that she +would have to yield. She must have known how happy she was to have an +opportunity of yielding; but yet yet, had there been any room for +choice, she thought she would have refrained from walking with her +cousin that evening. She had wept that afternoon because she had +thought that he would not come again; and now that he had come at the +first moment that was possible for him, she was almost tempted to wish +him once more away. + +'I suppose you understand that when I came up this morning I came +merely to talk about business,' said Belton, as soon as they were off +together. + +'It was very good of you to come at all so soon after your arrival.' + +'I told those people in London that I would have it all settled at +once, and so I wanted to have it off my mind.' + +'I don't know what I ought to say to you. Of course I shall not want so +much money as that.' + +'We won't talk about the money any more today. I hate talking about +money.' + +'It is not the pleasantest subject in the world.' + +'No,' said he; 'no indeed. I hate it particularly between friends. So +you have come to grief with your friends, the Aylmers?' + +'I hope I haven't come to grief and the Aylmers, as a family, never +were my friends. I'm obliged to contradict you, point by point you see.' + +'I don't like Captain Aylmer at all,' said Will, after a pause. + +'So I saw, Will; and I dare say he was not very fond of you.' 'Fond of +me! I didn't want him to be fond of me. I don't suppose he ever thought +much about me. I could not help thinking of him.' She had nothing to +say to this, and therefore walked on silently by his side. 'I suppose +he has not any idea of coming back here again?' + +'What; to Belton? No, I do not think he will come to Belton any more.' + +'Nor will you go to Aylmer Park?' + +'No; certainly not. Of all the places on earth. Will, to which you +could send me, Aylmer Park is the one to which I should go most +unwillingly.' + +'I don't want to send you there.' + +'You never could be made to understand what a woman she is; how +disagreeable, how cruel, how imperious, how insolent.' + +'Was she so bad as all that?' + +'Indeed she was, Will. I can't but tell the truth to you. + +'And he was nearly as bad as she.' + +'No, Will; no; do not say that of him.' + +'He was such a quarrelsome fellow. He flew at me just because I said we +had good hunting down in Norfolk.' + +'We need not talk about all that, Will.' + +'No of course not. It's all passed and gone, I suppose.' + +'Yes it is all passed and gone. You did not know my Aunt Winterfield, +or you would understand my first reason for liking him.' + +'No,' said Will; 'I never saw her.' + +Then they walked on together for a while without speaking, and Clara +was beginning to feel some relief some relief at first; but as the +relief came, there came back to her the dead, dull, feeling of +heaviness at her heart which had oppressed her after his visit in the +morning. She had been right, and Mrs Askerton had been wrong. He had +returned to her simply as her cousin, and now he was walking with her +and talking to her in this strain, to teach her that it was so. But of +a sudden they came to a place where two paths diverged, and he turned +upon her and asked her quickly which path they should take. 'Look, +Clara,' he said, 'will you go up there with me?' It did not need that +she should look, as she knew that the way indicated by him led up among +the rocks. + +'I don't much care which way,' she said, faintly. + +'Do you not? But I do. I care very much. Don't you remember where that +path goes?' She had no answer to give to this. She remembered well, and +remembered how he had protested that he would never go to the place +again unless he could go there as her accepted lover. And she had asked +herself sundry questions as to that protestation. Could it be that for +her sake he would abstain from visiting the prettiest spot on his +estate that he would continue to regard the ground as hallowed because +of his memories of her? 'Which way shall we go?' he asked. + +'I suppose it does not much signify,' said she, trembling. + +'But it does signify. It signifies very much to me. Will you go up to +the rocks?' + +'I am afraid we shall be late, if we stay out long.' + +'What matters how late? Will you come?' + +'I suppose so if you wish it, Will.' + +She had anticipated that the high rock was to be the altar at which the +victim was to be sacrificed; but now he would not wait till he had +taken her to the sacred spot. He had of course intended that he would +there renew his offer; but he had perceived that his offer had been +renewed, and had, in fact, been accepted, during this little parley as +to the pathway. There was hardly any necessity for further words. So he +must have thought; for, as quick as lightning, he flung his arms around +her, and kissed her again, as he had kissed her on that other terrible +occasion that occasion on which he had felt that he might hardly hope +for pardon. + +'William, William,' she said; 'how can you serve me like that?' But he +had a full understanding as to his own privileges, and was well aware +that he was in the right now, as he had been before that he was +trespassing egregiously. 'Why are you so rough with me?' she said. + +'Clara, say that you love me.' + +'I will say nothing to you because you are so rough.' They were now +walking up slowly towards the rocks. + +And as he had his arm round her waist, he was contented for awhile to +allow her to walk without speaking. But when they were on the summit it +was necessary for him that he should have a word from her of positive +assurance. 'Clara, say that you love me.' + +'Have I not always loved you, Will, since almost the first moment that +I saw you?' + +'But that won't do. You know that is not fair. Come, Clara; I've had a +deal of trouble and grief too; haven't I? You should say a word to make +up for it that is, if you can say it.' + +'What can a word like that signify to you today? You have got +everything.' + +'Have I got you?' Still she paused. 'I will have an answer. Have I got +you? Are you now my own?' + +'I suppose so, Will. Don't now. I will not have it again. Does not that +satisfy you?' + +'Tell me that you love me.' + +'You know that I love you.' + +'Better than anybody in the world?' + +'Yes better than anybody in the world.' + +'And after all you will be my wife?' + +'Oh, Will how you question one!' + +'You shall say it, and then it will all be fair and honest.' + +'Say what? I'm sure I thought I had said everything.' + +'Say that you mean to be my wife.' + +'I suppose so if you wish it.' + +'Wish it!' said he, getting up from his seat, and throwing his hat into +the bushes on one side; 'wish it! I don't think you have ever +understood howl have wished it. Look here, Clara; I found when I got +down to Norfolk that I couldn't live without you. Upon my word it is +true. I don't suppose you'll believe me.' + +'I didn't think it could be so bad with you as that.' + +'No I don't suppose women ever do believe. And I wouldn't have believed +it of myself. I hated myself for it. By George, I did. That is when I +began to think it was all up with me.' + +'All up with you! Oh, Will!' + +'I had quite made up my mind to go to New Zealand. I had, indeed. I +couldn't have kept my hands off that man if we had been living in the +same country. I should have wrung his neck.' + +'Will, how can you talk so wickedly?' + +'There's no understanding it till you have felt it. But never mind. +It's all right now; isn't it, Clara?' + +'If you think so.' + +'Think so! Oh, Clara, I am such a happy fellow. Do give me a kiss. You +have never given me one kiss yet.' + +'What nonsense! I didn't think you were such a baby.' + +'By George, but you shall or you shall never get home to tea to-night. +My own, own, own darling. Upon my word, Clara, when I begin to think +about it I shall be half mad.' + +'I think you are quite that already.' + +'No, I'm not but I shall be when I'm alone. What can I say to you, +Clara, to make you under. stand how much I love you? You remember the +song, "For Bonnie Annie Laurie I'd lay me down and dee". Of course it +is all nonsense talking of dying for a woman. What a man has to do is +to live for her. But that is my feeling. I'm ready to give you my life. +If there was anything to do for you, I'd do it if I could, whatever it +was. Do you understand me?' + +'Dear Will! Dearest Will!' + +'Am I dearest?' + +'Are you not sure of it?' + +'But I like you to tell me so. I like to feel that you are not ashamed +to own it. You ought to say it a few times to me, as I have said it so +very often to you.' + +'You'll hear enough of it before you've done with me.' + +'I shall never have heard enough of it. Oh, Heavens, only think, when I +was coming down in the train last night I was in such a bad way.' + +'And are you in a good way now?' + +'Yes; in a very good way. I shall crow over Mary so when I get home.' + +'And what has poor Mary done?' + +'Never mind.' + +'I dare say she knows what is good for you better than you know +yourself. I suppose she has told you that you might do a great deal +better than trouble yourself with a wife?' + +'Never mind what she has told me. It is settled now is it not? + +'I hope so, Will.' + +'But not quite settled as yet. When shall it be? That is the next +question.' + +But to that question Clara positively refused to make any reply that +her lover would consider to be satisfactory. He continued to press her +till she was at last driven to remind him how very short a time it was +since her father had been among them; and then he was very angry with +himself, and declared himself to be a brute. 'Anything but that,' she +said. 'You are the kindest and the best of men but at the same time the +most impatient.' + +'That's what Mary says; but what's the good of waiting? She wanted me +to wait today.' + +'And as you would not, you have fallen into a trap out of which you can +never escape. But pray let us go. What will they think of us?' + +'I shouldn't wonder if they didn't think something near the truth.' + +'Whatever they think, we will go back. It is ever so much past nine.' + +'Before you stir, Clara, tell me one thing. Are you really happy?' + +'Very happy.' + +'And are you glad that this has been done?' + +'Very glad. Will that satisfy you?' + +'And you do love me?' + +'I do I do I do. Can I say more than that? + +'More than anybody else in the world?' + +'Better than all the world put together.' + +'Then,' said he, holding her tight in his arms, 'show me that you love +me.' And as he made his request he was quick to explain to her what, +according to his ideas, was the becoming mode by which lovers might +show their love. I wonder whether it ever occurred to Clara, as she +thought of it all before she went to bed that night, that Captain +Aylmer and William Belton were very different in their manners. And if +so, I must wonder further whether she most approved the manners of the +patient man or the man who was impatient. + + +CHAPTER XXXII + +CONCLUSION + +About two months after the scene described in the last chapter, when +the full summer had arrived, Clara received two letters from the two +lovers the history of whose loves have just been told, and these shall +be submitted to the reader, as they will serve to explain the manner in +which the two men proposed to arrange their affairs. We will first have +Captain Aylmer's letter, which was the first read; Clara kept the +latter for the last, as children always keep their sweetest morsels. + +'Aylmer Park, August 188 + +My dear Miss Amedroz, + +I heard before leaving London that you are engaged to marry your cousin +Mr William Belton, and I think that perhaps you may be satisfied to +have a line from me to let you know that I quite approve of the +marriage.' 'I do not care very much for his approval or disapproval,' +said Clara as she read this. 'No doubt it will be the best thing you +can do, especially as it will heal all the sores arising from the +entail.' 'There never was any sore,' said Clara. 'Pray give my +compliments to Mr Belton, and offer him my congratulations, and tell +him that I wish him all happiness in the married state.' 'Married +fiddlestick!' said Clara. In this she was unreasonable; but the +euphonious platitudes of Captain Aylmer were so unlike the vehement +protestations of Mr Belton that she must be excused if by this time she +had come to entertain something of an unreasonable aversion for the +former. + +I hope you will not receive my news with perfect indifference when I +tell you that I also am going to be married. The lady is one whom I +have known for a long time, and have always esteemed very highly. She +is Lady Emily Tagmaggert, the youngest daughter of the Earl of Mull.' +Why Clara should immediately have conceived a feeling of supreme +contempt for Lady Emily Tagmaggert, and assured herself that her +ladyship was a thin, dry, cross old maid with a red nose, I cannot +explain; but I do know that such were her thoughts, almost +instantaneously, in reference to Captain Aylmer's future bride. 'Lady +Emily is a very intimate friend of my sister's; and you, who know how +our family cling together, will feel how thankful I must be when I tell +you that my mother quite approves of the engagement. I suppose we shall +be married early in the spring. We shall probably spend some months +every year at Perivale, and I hope that we may look forward to the +pleasure of seeing you sometimes as a guest beneath our roof.' On +reading this Clara shuddered, and made some inward protestation which +seemed to imply that she had no wish whatever to revisit the dull +streets of the little town with which she had been so well acquainted. +'I hope she'll be good to poor Mr Possit,' said Clara, 'and give him +port wine on Sundays.' + +I have one more thing that I ought to say. You will remember that I +intended to pay my aunt's legacy immediately after her death, but that +I was prevented by circumstances which I could not control. I have paid +it now into Mr Green's hands on your account, together with the sum of +œ59 18s 3d., which is due upon it as interest at the rate of 5 per +cent. I hope that this may be satisfactory.' 'It is not satisfactory at +all,' said Clara, putting down the letter, and resolving that Will +Belton should be instructed to repay the money instantly. It may, +however, be explained here that in this matter Clara was doomed to be +disappointed; and that she was forced, by Mr Green's arguments, to +receive the money. 'Then it shall go to the hospital at Perivale,' she +declared when those arguments were used. As to that, Mr Green was quite +indifferent, but I do not think that the legacy which troubled poor +Aunt Winterfield so much on her dying bed was ultimately applied to so +worthy a purpose. + +And now, my dear Miss Amedroz,' continued the letter, 'I will say +farewell, with many assurances of my unaltered esteem, and with +heartfelt wishes for your future happiness. Believe me to be always, + +Most faithfully and sincerely yours, + +FREDERIC F. AYLMER. + +'Esteem!' said Clara, as she finished the letter. 'I wonder which he +esteems the most, me or Lady Emily Tagmaggert. He will never get beyond +esteem with any one. + +The letter which was last read was as follows: + +Plaistow, August 186 . + +Dearest Clara, + +I don't think I shall ever get done, and I am coming to hate farming. +It is awful lonely here, too, and I pass all my evenings by myself, +wondering why I should be doomed to this kind of thing, while you and +Mary are comfortable together at Belton. We have begun with the wheat, +and as soon as that is safe I shall cut and run. I shall leave the +barley to Bunce. Bunce knows as much about it as I do and as for +remaining here all the summer, it's out of the question. + +My own dear, darling love, of course I don't intend to urge you to do +anything that you don't like; but upon my honour I don't see the force +of what you say. You know I have as much respect for your father's +memory as anybody, but what harm can it do to him that we should be +married at once? Don't you think he would have wished it himself? It +can be ever so quiet. So long as it's done, I don't care a straw how +it's done. Indeed, for the matter of that, I always think it would be +best just to walk to church and to walk home again without saying +anything to anybody. I hate fuss and nonsense, and really I don't think +anybody would have a right to say anything if we were to do it at once +in that sort of way. I have had a bad time of it for the last +twelvemonth. You must allow that, and I think that I ought to be +rewarded. + +As for living, you shall have your choice. Indeed you shall live +anywhere you please at Timbuctoo if you like it. I don't want to give +up Plaistow, because my father and grandfather farmed the land +themselves; but I am quite prepared not to live here. I don't think it +would suit you, because it has so much of the farm-house about it. Only +I should like you sometimes to come and look at the old place. What I +should like would be to pull down the house at Belton and build +another. But you mustn't propose to put it off till that's done, as I +should never have the heart to do it. If you think that would suit you, +I'll make up my mind to live at Belton for a constancy; and then I'd go +in for a lot of cattle, and don't doubt I'd make a fortune. I'm almost +sick of looking at the straight ridges in the big square fields every +day of my life. + +Give my love to Mary. I hope she fights my battle for me. Pray think of +all this, and relent if you can. I do so long to have an end of this +purgatory. If there was any use, I wouldn't say a word; but there's no +good in being tortured, when there is no use. God bless you, dearest +love. I do love you so well! + +Yours most affectionately, + +W. BELTON.' + +She kissed the letter twice, pressed it to her bosom, and then sat +silent for half an hour thinking of it of it, and the man who wrote it, +and of the man who had written the other letter. She could not but +remember how that other man had thought to treat her, when it was his +intention and her intention that they two should join their lots +together how cold he had been; how full of caution and counsel; how he +had preached to her himself and threatened her with the preaching of +his mother; how manifestly he had purposed to make her life a sacrifice +to his life; how he had premeditated her incarceration at Perivale, +while he should be living a bachelor's life in London! Will Belton's +ideas of married life were very different. Only come to me at once now, +immediately, and everything else shall be disposed just as you please. +This was his offer. What he proposed to give or rather his willingness +to be thus generous, was very sweet to her; but it was not half so +sweet as his impatience in demanding his reward. How she doted on him +because he considered his present state to be a purgatory! How could +she refuse anything she could give to one who desired her gifts so +strongly? + +As for her future residence, it would be a matter of indifference to +her where she should live, so long as she might live with him; but for +him she felt that but one spot in the world was fit for him. He was +Belton of Belton, and it would not be becoming that he should live +elsewhere. Of course she would go with him to Plaistow Hall as often as +he might wish it; but Belton Castle should be his permanent +resting-place. It would be her duty to be proud for him, and therefore, +for his sake, she would beg that their home might be in Somersetshire. + +'Mary,' she said to her cousin soon afterwards, 'Will sends his love to +you.' + +'And what else does he say?' + +'I couldn't tell you everything. You shouldn't expect it.' + +'I don't expect it; but perhaps there may be something to be told.' + +'Nothing that I need tell specially. You, who know him so well, can +imagine what he would say.' + +'Dear Will! I am sure he would mean to write what was pleasant.' + +Then the matter would have dropped had Clara been so minded but she, in +truth, was anxious to be forced to talk about the letter. She wished to +be urged by Mary to do that which Will urged her to do or, at least, to +learn whether Mary thought that her brother's wish might be gratified +without impropriety. 'Don't you think we ought to live here?' she said. + +'By all means if you both like it.' + +'He is so good so unselfish, that he will only ask me to do what I like +best.' + +'And which would you like best?' + +'I think he ought to live here because it is the old family property. I +confess that the name goes for something with me. He says that he would +build a new house.' + +'Does he think he could have it ready by the time you are married?' + +'Ah that is just the difficulty. Perhaps, after all, you had better +read his letter. I don't know why I should not show it to you. It will +only tell you what you know already that he is the most generous fellow +in all the world.' Then Mary read the letter. 'What am I to say to +him?' Clara asked. 'It seems so hard to refuse anything to one who is +so true, and good, and generous.' + +'It is hard.' + +'But you see my poor, dear father's death has been so recent.' + +'I hardly know,' said Mary, 'how the world feels about such things.' + +'I think we ought to wait at least twelve months,' said Clara, very +sadly. + +'Poor Will! He will be broken-hearted a dozen times before that. But +then, when his happiness does come, he will be all the happier.' Clara, +when she heard this, almost hated her cousin Mary not for her own sake, +but on Will's account. Will trusted so implicitly to his sister, and +yet she could not make a better fight for him than this! It almost +seemed that Mary was indifferent to her brother's happiness. Had Will +been her brother, Clara thought, and had any girl asked her advice +under similar circumstances, she was sure that she would have answered +in a different way. She would have told such girl that her first duty +was owing to the man who was to be her husband, and would not have said +a word to her about the feeling of the world. After all, what did the +feeling of the world signify to them, who were going to be all the +world to each other? + +On that afternoon she went up to Mrs Askerton's; and succeeded in +getting advice from her also, though she did not show Will's letter to +that lady. 'Of course, I know what he says,' said Mrs Askerton. 'Unless +I have mistaken the man, he wants to be married tomorrow.' + +'He is not so bad as that,' said Clara. + +'Then the next day, or the day after. Of course he is impatient, and +does not see any earthly reason why his impatience should not be +gratified.' + +'He is impatient.' + +'And I suppose you hesitate because of your father's death? + +'It seems but the other day does it not?' said Clara. + +'Everything seems but the other day to me. It was but the other day +that I myself was married.' + +'And, of course, though I would do anything I could that he would ask +me to do' + +'But would you do anything?' + +'Anything that was not wrong I would. Why should I not, when he is so +good to me?' + +'Then write to him, my dear, and tell him that it shall be as he wishes +it. Believe me, the days of Jacob are over. Men don't understand +waiting now, and it's always as well to catch your fish when you can.' + +'You don't suppose I have any thought of that kind?' + +'I am sure you have not and I'm sure that he deserves no such thought +but the higher that are his deserts, the greater should be his reward. +If I were you, I should think of nothing but him, and I should do +exactly as he would have me.' Clara kissed her friend as she parted +from her, and again resolved that all that woman's sins should be +forgiven her. A woman who could give such excellent advice deserved +that every sin should be forgiven her. 'They'll be married yet before +the summer is over,' Mrs Askerton said to her husband that afternoon. +'I believe a man may have anything he chooses to ask for, if he'll only +ask hard enough.' + +And they were married in the autumn, if not actually in the summer. +With what precise words Clara answered her lover's letter I will not +say; but her answer was of such a nature that he found himself +compelled to leave Plaistow, even before the wheat was garnered. Great +confidence was placed in Bunce on that occasion, and I have reason to +believe that it was not misplaced. They were married in September yes, +in September, although that letter of Will's was written in August, and +by the beginning of October they had returned from their wedding trip +to Plaistow. Clara insisted that she should be taken to Plaistow, and +was very anxious when there to learn all the particulars of the farm. +She put down in a little book how many acres there were in each field, +and what was the average produce of the land. She made inquiry about +four-crop rotation, and endeavoured, with Bunce, to go into the great +subject of stall-feeding. But Belton did not give her as much +encouragement as he might have done. 'We'll come here for the shooting +next year,' he said; 'that is, if there is nothing to prevent us.' + +'I hope there'll be nothing to prevent us.' + +'There might be, perhaps; but we'll always come if there is not. For +the rest of it, I'll leave it to Bunce, and just run over once or twice +in the year. It would not be a nice place for you to live at long.' + +'I like it of all things. I am quite interested about the farm.' + +'You'd get very sick of it if you were here in the winter. The truth is +that if you farm well, you must farm ugly. The picturesque nooks and +corners have all to be turned inside out, and the hedgerows must be +abolished, because we want the sunshine. Now, down at Belton, just +above the house, we won't mind farming well, but will stick to the +picturesque.' + +The new house was immediately commenced at Belton, and was made to +proceed with all imaginable alacrity. It was supposed at one time at +least Belton himself said that he so supposed that the building would +be ready for occupation at the end of the first summer; but this was +not found to be possible. 'We must put it off till May, after all,' +said Belton, as he was walking round the unfinished building with +Colonel Askerton. 'It's an awful bore, but there's no getting people +really to pull out in this country.' + +'I think they've pulled out pretty well. Of course you couldn't have +gone into a damp house for the winter.' + +'Other people can get a house built within twelve months. Look what +they do in London.' + +'And other people with their wives and children die in consequence of +colds and sore throats and other evils of that nature. I wouldn't go +into a new house, I know, till I was quite sure it was dry.' + +As Will at this time was hardly ten months married, he was not as yet +justified in thinking about his own wife and children; but he had +already found it expedient to make arrangements for the autumn, which +would prevent that annual visit to Plaistow which Clara had +contemplated, and which he had regarded with his characteristic +prudence as being subject to possible impediments. He was to be absent +himself for the first week in September, but was to return immediately +after that. This he did; and before the end of that month he was +justified in talking of his wife and family. 'I suppose it wouldn't +have done to have been moving now under all the circumstances,' he said +to his friend, Mrs Askerton, as he still grumbled about the unfinished +house. + +'I don't think it would have done at all, under all the circumstances,' +said Mrs Askerton. + +But in the following spring or early summer they did get into the new +house and a very nice house it was, as will, I think, be believed by +those who have known Mr William Belton. And when they were well +settled, at which time little Will Belton was some seven or eight +mouths old little Will, for whom great bonfires had been lit, as though +his birth in those parts was a matter not to be regarded lightly; for +was he not the first Belton of Belton who had been born there for more +than a century? when that time came visitors appeared at the new Belton +Castle, visitors of importance, who were entitled to, and who received, +great consideration. These were no less than Captain Aylmer, Member for +Perivale, and his newly-married bride, Lady Emily Aylmer, n‚e +Tagmaggert. They were then just married, and had come down to Belton +Castle immediately after their honeymoon trip. How it had come to pass +that such friendship had sprung up or rather how it had been revived it +would be bootless here to say. But old affiances, such as that which +had existed between the Aylmer and the Amedroz families, do not allow +themselves to die out easily, and it is well for us all that they +should be long-lived. So Captain Aylmer brought his bride to Belton +Park, and a small fatted calf was killed, and the Askertons came to +dinner on which occasion Captain Aylmer behaved very well, though we +may imagine that he must have had some misgivings on the score of his +young wife. The Askertons came to dinner, and the old rector, and the +squire from a neighbouring parish, and everything was very handsome and +very dull. Captain Aylmer was much pleased with his visit, and declared +to Lady Emily that marriage had greatly improved Mi. William Belton. +Now Will had been very dull the whole evening, and very unlike the +fiery, violent, unreasonable man whom Captain Aylmer remembered to have +met at the station hotel of the Great Northern Railway. + +'I was as sure of it as possible,' Clara said to her husband that night. + +'Sure of what, my dear?' + +'That she would have a red nose.' + +'Who has got a red nose?' + +'Don't be stupid, Will. Who should have it but Lady Emily?' + +'Upon my word I didn't observe it.' + +'You never observe anything, Will; do you? But don't you think she is +very plain?' + +'Upon my word I don't know. She isn't as handsome as some people.' + +'Don't be a fool, Will. How old do you suppose her to be?' 'How old? +Let me see. Thirty, perhaps.' + +'If she's not over forty, I'll consent to change noses with her.' + +'No we won't do that; not if I know it.' + +'I cannot conceive why any man should marry such a woman as that. Not +but what she's a very good woman, I dare say; only what can a man get +by it? To be sure there's the title, if that's worth anything.' But +Will Belton was never good for much conversation at this hour, and was +too fast asleep to make any rejoinder to the last remark. + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, THE BELTON ESTATE *** + +This file should be named beles10.txt or beles10.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, beles11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, beles10a.txt + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we usually do not +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +We are now trying to release all our eBooks one year in advance +of the official release dates, leaving time for better editing. +Please be encouraged to tell us about any error or corrections, +even years after the official publication date. + +Please note neither this listing nor its contents are final til +midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement. +The official release date of all Project Gutenberg eBooks is at +Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month. A +preliminary version may often be posted for suggestion, comment +and editing by those who wish to do so. + +Most people start at our Web sites at: +http://gutenberg.net or +http://promo.net/pg + +These Web sites include award-winning information about Project +Gutenberg, including how to donate, how to help produce our new +eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter (free!). + + +Those of you who want to download any eBook before announcement +can get to them as follows, and just download by date. This is +also a good way to get them instantly upon announcement, as the +indexes our cataloguers produce obviously take a while after an +announcement goes out in the Project Gutenberg Newsletter. + +http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/etext03 or +ftp://ftp.ibiblio.org/pub/docs/books/gutenberg/etext03 + +Or /etext02, 01, 00, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90 + +Just search by the first five letters of the filename you want, +as it appears in our Newsletters. + + +Information about Project Gutenberg (one page) + +We produce about two million dollars for each hour we work. The +time it takes us, a rather conservative estimate, is fifty hours +to get any eBook selected, entered, proofread, edited, copyright +searched and analyzed, the copyright letters written, etc. Our +projected audience is one hundred million readers. If the value +per text is nominally estimated at one dollar then we produce $2 +million dollars per hour in 2002 as we release over 100 new text +files per month: 1240 more eBooks in 2001 for a total of 4000+ +We are already on our way to trying for 2000 more eBooks in 2002 +If they reach just 1-2% of the world's population then the total +will reach over half a trillion eBooks given away by year's end. + +The Goal of Project Gutenberg is to Give Away 1 Trillion eBooks! +This is ten thousand titles each to one hundred million readers, +which is only about 4% of the present number of computer users. + +Here is the briefest record of our progress (* means estimated): + +eBooks Year Month + + 1 1971 July + 10 1991 January + 100 1994 January + 1000 1997 August + 1500 1998 October + 2000 1999 December + 2500 2000 December + 3000 2001 November + 4000 2001 October/November + 6000 2002 December* + 9000 2003 November* +10000 2004 January* + + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been created +to secure a future for Project Gutenberg into the next millennium. + +We need your donations more than ever! + +As of February, 2002, contributions are being solicited from people +and organizations in: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut, +Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, +Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, +Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New +Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, +Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South +Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West +Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. + +We have filed in all 50 states now, but these are the only ones +that have responded. + +As the requirements for other states are met, additions to this list +will be made and fund raising will begin in the additional states. +Please feel free to ask to check the status of your state. + +In answer to various questions we have received on this: + +We are constantly working on finishing the paperwork to legally +request donations in all 50 states. If your state is not listed and +you would like to know if we have added it since the list you have, +just ask. + +While we cannot solicit donations from people in states where we are +not yet registered, we know of no prohibition against accepting +donations from donors in these states who approach us with an offer to +donate. + +International donations are accepted, but we don't know ANYTHING about +how to make them tax-deductible, or even if they CAN be made +deductible, and don't have the staff to handle it even if there are +ways. + +Donations by check or money order may be sent to: + +Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +PMB 113 +1739 University Ave. +Oxford, MS 38655-4109 + +Contact us if you want to arrange for a wire transfer or payment +method other than by check or money order. + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been approved by +the US Internal Revenue Service as a 501(c)(3) organization with EIN +[Employee Identification Number] 64-622154. Donations are +tax-deductible to the maximum extent permitted by law. As fund-raising +requirements for other states are met, additions to this list will be +made and fund-raising will begin in the additional states. + +We need your donations more than ever! + +You can get up to date donation information online at: + +http://www.gutenberg.net/donation.html + + +*** + +If you can't reach Project Gutenberg, +you can always email directly to: + +Michael S. Hart <hart@pobox.com> + +Prof. Hart will answer or forward your message. + +We would prefer to send you information by email. + + +**The Legal Small Print** + + +(Three Pages) + +***START**THE SMALL PRINT!**FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS**START*** +Why is this "Small Print!" statement here? You know: lawyers. +They tell us you might sue us if there is something wrong with +your copy of this eBook, even if you got it for free from +someone other than us, and even if what's wrong is not our +fault. So, among other things, this "Small Print!" statement +disclaims most of our liability to you. It also tells you how +you may distribute copies of this eBook if you want to. + +*BEFORE!* YOU USE OR READ THIS EBOOK +By using or reading any part of this PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm +eBook, you indicate that you understand, agree to and accept +this "Small Print!" statement. If you do not, you can receive +a refund of the money (if any) you paid for this eBook by +sending a request within 30 days of receiving it to the person +you got it from. If you received this eBook on a physical +medium (such as a disk), you must return it with your request. + +ABOUT PROJECT GUTENBERG-TM EBOOKS +This PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook, like most PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBooks, +is a "public domain" work distributed by Professor Michael S. Hart +through the Project Gutenberg Association (the "Project"). +Among other things, this means that no one owns a United States copyright +on or for this work, so the Project (and you!) can copy and +distribute it in the United States without permission and +without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth +below, apply if you wish to copy and distribute this eBook +under the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark. + +Please do not use the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark to market +any commercial products without permission. + +To create these eBooks, the Project expends considerable +efforts to identify, transcribe and proofread public domain +works. Despite these efforts, the Project's eBooks and any +medium they may be on may contain "Defects". Among other +things, Defects may take the form of incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other +intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged +disk or other eBook medium, a computer virus, or computer +codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment. + +LIMITED WARRANTY; DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES +But for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described below, +[1] Michael Hart and the Foundation (and any other party you may +receive this eBook from as a PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook) disclaims +all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including +legal fees, and [2] YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE OR +UNDER STRICT LIABILITY, OR FOR BREACH OF WARRANTY OR CONTRACT, +INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE +OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE +POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. + +If you discover a Defect in this eBook within 90 days of +receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) +you paid for it by sending an explanatory note within that +time to the person you received it from. If you received it +on a physical medium, you must return it with your note, and +such person may choose to alternatively give you a replacement +copy. If you received it electronically, such person may +choose to alternatively give you a second opportunity to +receive it electronically. + +THIS EBOOK IS OTHERWISE PROVIDED TO YOU "AS-IS". NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, ARE MADE TO YOU AS +TO THE EBOOK OR ANY MEDIUM IT MAY BE ON, INCLUDING BUT NOT +LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A +PARTICULAR PURPOSE. + +Some states do not allow disclaimers of implied warranties or +the exclusion or limitation of consequential damages, so the +above disclaimers and exclusions may not apply to you, and you +may have other legal rights. + +INDEMNITY +You will indemnify and hold Michael Hart, the Foundation, +and its trustees and agents, and any volunteers associated +with the production and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm +texts harmless, from all liability, cost and expense, including +legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the +following that you do or cause: [1] distribution of this eBook, +[2] alteration, modification, or addition to the eBook, +or [3] any Defect. + +DISTRIBUTION UNDER "PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm" +You may distribute copies of this eBook electronically, or by +disk, book or any other medium if you either delete this +"Small Print!" and all other references to Project Gutenberg, +or: + +[1] Only give exact copies of it. Among other things, this + requires that you do not remove, alter or modify the + eBook or this "small print!" statement. You may however, + if you wish, distribute this eBook in machine readable + binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form, + including any form resulting from conversion by word + processing or hypertext software, but only so long as + *EITHER*: + + [*] The eBook, when displayed, is clearly readable, and + does *not* contain characters other than those + intended by the author of the work, although tilde + (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may + be used to convey punctuation intended by the + author, and additional characters may be used to + indicate hypertext links; OR + + [*] The eBook may be readily converted by the reader at + no expense into plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent + form by the program that displays the eBook (as is + the case, for instance, with most word processors); + OR + + [*] You provide, or agree to also provide on request at + no additional cost, fee or expense, a copy of the + eBook in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC + or other equivalent proprietary form). + +[2] Honor the eBook refund and replacement provisions of this + "Small Print!" statement. + +[3] Pay a trademark license fee to the Foundation of 20% of the + gross profits you derive calculated using the method you + already use to calculate your applicable taxes. If you + don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are + payable to "Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation" + the 60 days following each date you prepare (or were + legally required to prepare) your annual (or equivalent + periodic) tax return. Please contact us beforehand to + let us know your plans and to work out the details. + +WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? +Project Gutenberg is dedicated to increasing the number of +public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed +in machine readable form. + +The Project gratefully accepts contributions of money, time, +public domain materials, or royalty free copyright licenses. +Money should be paid to the: +"Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +If you are interested in contributing scanning equipment or +software or other items, please contact Michael Hart at: +hart@pobox.com + +[Portions of this eBook's header and trailer may be reprinted only +when distributed free of all fees. Copyright (C) 2001, 2002 by +Michael S. Hart. Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be +used in any sales of Project Gutenberg eBooks or other materials be +they hardware or software or any other related product without +express permission.] + +*END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS*Ver.02/11/02*END* + diff --git a/old/beles10.txt20020407 b/old/beles10.txt20020407 new file mode 100644 index 0000000..96e1f91 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/beles10.txt20020407 @@ -0,0 +1,17042 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Belton Estate, by Anthony Trollope +(#32 in our series by Anthony Trollope) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: The Belton Estate + +Author: Anthony Trollope + +Release Date: January, 2004 [EBook #4969] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on April 7, 2002] +[Most recently updated November 30, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, THE BELTON ESTATE *** + + + + +This eBook was produced by Andrew Turek. + + + +THE BELTON ESTATE + +by Anthony Trollope + +CHAPTER I + +Mrs Amedroz, the wife of Bernard Amedroz, Esq, of Belton Castle, and +mother of Charles and Clara Amedroz, died when those children were only +eight and six years old, thereby subjecting them to the greatest +misfortune which children born in that sphere of life can be made to +suffer. And, in the case of this boy and girl, the misfortune was +aggravated greatly by the peculiarities of the father's character. Mr +Amedroz was not a bad man as men are held to be bad in the world's +esteem. He was not vicious was not a gambler or a drunkard was not +self-indulgent to a degree that brought upon him any reproach; nor was +he regardless of his children. But he was an idle, thriftless man, who, +at the age of sixty-seven, when the reader will first make his +acquaintance, had as yet done no good in the world whatever. Indeed he +had done terrible evil; for his son Charles was now dead had perished +by his own hand and the state of things which had brought about this +woeful event had been chiefly due to the father's neglect. + +Belton Castle is a pretty country seat, standing in a small but +beautifully wooded park, close under the Quantock hills in +Somersetshire; and the little town of Belton clusters round the park +gates. Few Englishmen know the scenery of England well, and the +prettinesses of Somersetshire are among those which are the least +known. But the Quantock hills are very lovely, with their rich valleys +lying close among them, and their outlying moorlands running off +towards Dulverton and the borders of Devonshire moorlands which are not +flat, like Salisbury Plain, but are broken into ravines and deep +watercourses and rugged dells hither and thither; where old oaks are +standing, in which life seems to have dwindled down to the last spark; +but the last spark is still there, and the old oaks give forth their +scanty leaves from year to year. + +In among the hills, somewhat off the high road from Minehead to +Taunton, and about five miles from the sea, stands the little town, or +village, of Belton, and the modern house of Mr Amedroz, which is called +Belton Castle. The village for it is in truth no more, though it still +maintains a charter for a market, and there still exists on Tuesdays +some pretence of an open sale of grain and butcher's meat in the square +before the church-gate contains about two thousand persons. That and +the whole parish of Belton did once and that not long ago belong to the +Amedroz family. They had inherited it from the Beltons of old, an +Amedroz having married the heiress of the family. And as the parish is +large, stretching away to Exmoor on one side and almost to the sea on +the other, containing the hamlet of Redicote, lying on the Taunton high +road Redicote, where the post-office is placed, a town almost in +itself, and one which is now much more prosperous than Belton as the +property when it came to the first Amedroz had limits such as these, +the family had been considerable in the county. But these limits had +been straitened in the days of the grandfather and the father of +Bernard Amedroz; and he, when he married a Miss Winterfield of Taunton, +was thought to have done very well, in that mortgages were paid off the +property with his wife's money to such an extent as to leave him in +clear possession of an estate that gave him two thousand a year. As Mr +Amedroz had no grand neighbours near him, as the place is remote and +the living therefore cheap, and as with this income there was no +question of annual visits to London, Mr and Mrs Amedroz might have done +very well with such of the good things of the world as had fallen to +their lot. And had the wife lived, such would probably have been the +case; for the Winterfields were known to be prudent people. But Mrs +Amedroz had died young, and things with Bernard Amedroz had gone badly. + +And yet the evil had not been so much with him as with that terrible +boy of his. The father had been nearly forty when he married. He had +then never done any good; but as neither had he done much harm, the +friends of the family had argued well of his future career. After him, +unless he should leave a son behind him, there would be no Amedroz left +among the Quantock hills; and by some arrangement in respect to that +Winterfield money which came to him on his marriage the Winterfields +having a long-dated connexion with the Beltons of old the Amedroz +property was, at Bernard's marriage, entailed back upon a distant +Belton cousin, one Will Belton, whom no one had seen for many years, +but who was by blood nearer the squire in default of children of his +own than any other of his relatives. And now Will Belton was the heir +to Belton Castle; for Charles Amedroz, at the age of twenty-seven, had +found the miseries of the world to be too many for him, and had put an +end to them and to himself. + +Charles had been a clever fellow a very clever fellow in the eyes of +his father. Bernard Amedroz knew that he himself was not a clever +fellow, and admired his son accordingly; and when Charles had been +expelled from Harrow for some boyish freak in his vengeance against a +neighbouring farmer, who had reported to the school authorities the +doings of a few beagles upon his land, Charles had cut off the heads of +all the trees in a young fir plantation his father was proud of the +exploit. When he was rusticated a second time from Trinity, and when +the father received an intimation that his son's name had better be +taken from the College books, the squire was not so well pleased; but +even then he found some delight in the stories which reached him of his +son's vagaries; and when the young man commenced Bohemian life in +London, his father did nothing to restrain him. Then there came the old +story debts, endless debts; and lies, endless lies. During the two +years before his death, his father paid for him, or undertook to pay, +nearly ten thousand pounds, sacrificing the life assurances which were +to have made provision for his daughter; sacrificing, to a great +extent, his own life income sacrificing everything, so that the +property might not be utterly ruined at his death. That Charles Amedroz +should be a brighter, greater man than any other Amedroz, had still +been the father's pride. At the last visit which Charles had paid to +Belton his father had called upon him to pledge himself solemnly that +his sister should not be made to suffer by what had been done for him. +Within a month of that time he had blown his brains out in his London +lodgings, thus making over the entire property to Will Belton at his +father's death. At that last pretended settlement with his father and +his father's lawyer, he had kept back the mention of debts as heavy +nearly as those to which he had owned; and there were debts of honour, +too, of which he had not spoken, trusting to the next event at +Newmarket to set him right. The next event at Newmarket had set him +more wrong than ever, and so there had come an end to everything with +Charles Amedroz. + +This had happened in the spring, and the afflicted father afflicted +with the double sorrow of his son's terrible death and his daughter's +ruin had declared that he would turn his face to the wall and die. But +the old squire's health, though far from strong, was stronger than he +had deemed it, and his feelings, sharp enough, were less sharp than he +thought them; and when a month had passed by, he had discovered that it +would be better that he should live, in order that his daughter might +still have bread to eat and a house of her own over her head. Though he +was now an impoverished man, there was still left to him the means of +keeping up the old home; and he told himself that it must, if possible, +be so kept that a few pounds annually might be put by for Clara. The +old carriage-horses were sold, and the park was let to a farmer, up to +the hall door of the castle. So much the squire could do; but as to the +putting by of the few pounds, any dependence on such exertion as that +on his part would, we may say, be very precarious. + +Belton Castle was not in truth a castle. Immediately before the front +door, so near to the house as merely to allow of a broad road running +between it and the entrance porch, there stood an old tower, which gave +its name to the residence an old square tower, up which the Amedroz +boys for three generations had been able to climb by means of the ivy +and broken stones in one of the inner corners and this tower was a +remnant of a real castle that had once protected the village of Belton. +The house itself was an ugly residence, three stories high, built in +the time of George II, with low rooms and long passages, and an immense +number of doors. It was a large unattractive house unattractive that +is, as regarded its own attributes but made interesting by the beauty +of the small park in which it stood. Belton Park did not, perhaps, +contain much above a hundred acres, but the land was so broken into +knolls and valleys, in so many places was the rock seen to be cropping +up through the verdure, there were in it so many stunted old oaks, so +many points of vantage for the lover of scenery, that no one would +believe it to be other than a considerable domain. The farmer who took +it, and who would not under any circumstances undertake to pay more +than seventeen shillings an acre for it, could not be made to think +that it was in any way considerable. But Belton Park, since first it +was made a park, had never before been regarded in this fashion. Farmer +Stovey, of the Grange, was the first man of that class who had ever +assumed the right to pasture his sheep in Belton chase as the people +around were still accustomed to call the woodlands of the estate. + +It was full summer at Belton, and four months had now passed since the +dreadful tidings had reached the castle. It was full summer, and the +people of the village were again going about their ordinary business; +and the shop-girls with their lovers from Redicote were again to be +seen walking among the oaks in the park on a Sunday evening; and the +world in that district of Somersetshire was getting itself back into +its grooves. The fate of the young heir had disturbed the grooves +greatly, and had taught many in those parts to feel that the world was +coming to an end. They had not loved young Amedroz, for he had been +haughty when among them, and there had been wrongs committed by the +dissolute young squire, and grief had come from his misdoings upon more +than one household; but to think that he should have destroyed himself +with his own hand! And then, to think that Miss Clara would become a +beggar when the old squire should die! All the neighbours around +understood the whole history of the entail, and knew that the property +was to go to Will Belton. Now Will Belton was not a gentleman! So, at +least, said the Belton folk, who had heard that the heir had been +brought up as a farmer somewhere in Norfolk. Will Belton had once been +at the Castle as a boy, now some fifteen years ago, and then there had +sprung up a great quarrel between him and his distant cousin Charles +and Will, who was rough and large of stature, had thrashed the smaller +boy severely; and the thing had grown to have dimensions larger than +those which generally attend the quarrels of boys; and Will had said +something which had shown how well he understood his position in +reference to the estate and Charles had hated him. So Will had gone, +and had been no more seen among the oaks whose name he bore. And the +people, in spite of his name, regarded him as an interloper. To them, +with their short memories and scanty knowledge of the past, Amedroz was +more honourable than Belton, and they looked upon the coming man as an +intruder. Why should not Miss Clara have the property? Miss Clara had +never done harm to any one! + +Things got back into their old grooves, and at the end of the third +month the squire was once more seen in the old family pew at church. He +was a large man, who had been very handsome, and who now, in his yellow +leaf, was not without a certain beauty of manliness. He wore his hair +and his beard long; before his son's death they were grey, but now they +were very white. And though he stooped, there was still a dignity in +his slow step a dignity that came to him from nature rather than from +any effort. He was a man who, in fact, did little or nothing in the +world whose life had been very useless; but he had been gifted with +such a presence that he looked as though he were one of God's nobler +creatures. Though always dignified he was ever affable, and the poor +liked him better than they might have done had he passed his time in +searching out their wants and supplying them. They were proud of their +squire, though he had done nothing for them. It was something to them +to have a man who could so carry himself sitting in the family pew in +their parish church. They knew that he was poor, but they all declared +that he was never mean. He was a real gentleman was this last Amedroz +of the family; therefore they curtsied low, and bowed on his +reappearance among them, and made all those signs of reverential awe +which are common to the poor when they feel reverence for the presence +of a superior. + +Clara was there with him, but she had shown herself in the pew for four +or five weeks before this. She had not been at home when the fearful +news had reached Belton, being at that time with a certain lady who +lived on the farther side of the county, at Perivale a certain Mrs +Winterfield, born a Folliot, a widow, who stood to Miss Amedroz in the +place of an aunt. Mrs Winterfield was, in truth, the sister of a +gentleman who had married Clara's aunt there having been marriages and +intermarriages between the Winterfields and the Folliots and the +Belton-Amedroz families. With this lady in Perivale, which I maintain +to be the dullest little town in England, Miss Amedroz was staying when +the news reached her father, and when it was brought direct from London +to herself. Instantly she had hurried home, taking the journey with all +imaginable speed though her heart was all but broken within her bosom. +She had found her father stricken to the ground, and it was the more +necessary, therefore, that she should exert herself. It would not do +that she also should yield to that longing for death which terrible +calamities often produce for a season. + +Clara Amedroz, when she first heard. the news of her brother's fate, +had felt that she was for ever crushed to the ground. She had known too +well what had been the nature of her brother's life, but she had not +expected or feared any such termination to his career as this which had +now come upon him to the terrible affliction of all belonging to him. +She felt at first, as did also her father, that she and he were +annihilated as regards this world, not only by an enduring grief, but +also by a disgrace which would never allow her again to hold up her +head. And for many a long year much of this feeling clung to her clung +to her much more strongly than to her father. But strength was hers to +perceive, even before she had reached her home, that it was her duty to +repress both the feeling of shame and the sorrow, as far as they were +capable of repression. Her brother had been weak, and in his weakness +had sought a coward's escape from the ills of the world around him. She +must not also be a coward! Bad as life might be to her henceforth, she +must endure it with such fortitude as she could muster. So resolving +she returned to her father, and was able to listen to his railings with +a fortitude that was essentially serviceable both to him and to herself. + +'Both of you! Both of you!' the unhappy father had said in his woe. +'The wretched boy has destroyed you as much as himself!' 'No, sir,' she +had answered, with a forbearance in her misery, which, terrible as was +the effort, she forced herself to accomplish for his sake. 'It is not +so. No thought of that need add to your grief. My poor brother has not +hurt me not in the way you mean.' 'He has ruined us all,' said the +father; 'root and branch, man and woman, old and young, house and land. +He has brought the family to an end ah me, to such an end!' After that +the name of him who had taken himself from among them was not mentioned +between the father and daughter, and Clara settled herself to the +duties of her new life, striving to live as though there was no great +sorrow around her as though no cloud-storm had burst over her head. + +The family lawyer, who lived at Taunton, had communicated the fact of +Charles's death to Mr Belton, and Belton had acknowledged the letter +with the ordinary expressions of regret. The lawyer had alluded to the +entail, saying that it was improbable that Mr Amedroz would have +another son. To this Belton had replied that for his cousin Clara's +sake he hoped that the squire's life might be long spared. The lawyer +smiled as he read the wish, thinking to himself that luckily no wish on +the part of Will Belton could influence his old client either for good +or evil. What man, let alone what lawyer, will ever believe in the +sincerity of such a wish as that expressed by the heir to a property? +And yet where is the man who will not declare to himself that such, +under such circumstances, would be his own wish? + +Clara Amedroz at this time was not a very young lady. She had already +passed her twenty-fifth birthday, and in manners, appearance, and +habits was, at any rate, as old as her age. She made no pretence to +youth, speaking of herself always as one whom circumstances required to +take upon herself age in advance of her years. She did not dress young, +or live much with young people, or correspond with other girls by means +of crossed letters; nor expect that, for her, young pleasures should be +provided. Life had always been serious with her; but now, we may say, +since the terrible tragedy lit the family, it must be solemn as well as +serious. The memory of her brother must always be upon her; and the +memory also of the fact that her father was now an impoverished man, on +whose behalf it was her duty to care that every shilling spent in the +house did its full twelve pennies' worth of work. There was a mixture +in this of deep tragedy and of little cares, which seemed to destroy +for her the poetry as well as the pleasure of life. The poetry and +tragedy might have gone hand in hand together; and so might the cares +and pleasures of life have done, had there been no black sorrow of +which she must be ever mindful. But it was her lot to have to +scrutinize the butcher's bill as she was thinking of her brother's +fate; and to work daily among small household things while the spectre +of her brother's corpse was ever before her eyes. + +A word must be said to explain how it had come to pass that the life +led by Miss Amedroz had been more than commonly serious before that +tragedy had befallen the family. The name of the lady who stood to +Clara in the place of an aunt has been already mentioned. When a girl +has a mother, her aunt may be little or nothing to her. But when the +mother is gone, if there be an aunt unimpeded with other family duties, +then the family duties of that aunt begin and are assumed sometimes +with great vigour. Such had been the case with Mrs Winterfield. No +woman ever lived, perhaps, with more conscientious ideas of her duty as +a woman than Mrs Winterfield of Prospect Place, Perivale. And this, as +I say it, is intended to convey no scoff against that excellent lady. +She was an excellent lady unselfish, given to self-restraint, generous, +pious, looking to find in her religion a safe path through life a path +as safe as the facts of Adam's fall would allow her feet to find. She +was a woman fearing much for others, but fearing also much for herself, +striving to maintain her house in godliness, hating sin, and struggling +with the weakness of her humanity so that she might not allow herself +to hate the sinners. But her hatred for the sin she found herself bound +at all times to pronounce to show it by some act at all seasons. To +fight the devil was her work was the appointed work of every living +soul, if only living souls could be made to acknowledge the necessity +of the task. Now an aunt of that kind, when she assumes her duties +towards a motherless niece, is apt to make life serious. + +But, it will be said, Clara Amedroz could have rebelled; and Clara's +father was hardly made of such stuff that obedience to the aunt would +be enforced on her by parental authority. Doubtless Clara could have +rebelled against her aunt. Indeed, I do not know that she had hitherto +been very obedient. But there were family facts about these Winterfield +connexions which would have made it difficult for her to ignore her +so-called aunt, even had she wished to do so. Mrs Winterfield had +twelve hundred a year at her own disposal, and she was the only person +related to the Amedroz family from whom Mr Amedroz had a right to have +expectations on his daughter's behalf. Clara had, in a measure, been +claimed by the lady, and the father had made good the lady's claim, and +Clara had acknowledged that a portion of her life was due to the +demands of Perivale. These demands had undoubtedly made her life +serious. + +Life at Perivale was a very serious thing. As regards amusement, +ordinarily so called, the need of any such institution was not +acknowledged at Prospect House. Food, drink, and raiment were +acknowledged to be necessary to humanity, and, in accordance with the +rules of that house, they were supplied in plenty, and good of their +kind. Such ladies as Mrs Winterfield generally keep good tables, +thinking no doubt that the eatables should do honour to the grace that +is said for them. And Mrs Winterfield herself always wore a thick black +silk dress not rusty or dowdy with age but with some gloss of the silk +on it; giving away, with secret, underhand, undiscovered charity, her +old dresses to another lady of her own sort, on whom fortune had not +bestowed twelve hundred a year. And Mrs Winterfield kept a low, +four-wheeled, one-horsed phaeton, in which she made her pilgrimages +among the poor of Perivale, driven by the most solemn of stable-boys, +dressed up in a great white coat, the most priggish of hats, and white +cotton gloves. At the rate of five miles an hour was she driven about, +and this driving was to her the amusement of life. But such an +occupation to Clara Amedroz assisted to make life serious. + +In person Mrs Winterfield was tall and thin, wearing on her brow thin +braids of false hair. She had suffered much from acute ill health, and +her jaws were sunken, and her eyes were hollow, and there was a look of +woe about her which seemed ever to be telling of her own sorrows in +this world and of the sorrows of others in the world to come. +Ill-nature was written on her face, but in this her face was a false +face. She had the manners of a cross, peevish woman; but her manners +also were false, and gave no proper idea of her character. But still, +such as she was, she made life very serious to those who were called +upon to dwell with her. + +I need, I hope, hardly say that a young lady such as Miss Amedroz, even +though she had reached the age of twenty-five for at the time to which +I am now alluding she had nearly done so and was not young of her age, +had formed for herself no plan of life in which her aunt's money +figured as a motive power. She had gone to Perivale when she was very +young, because she had been told to do so, and had continued to go, +partly from obedience, partly from habit, and partly from affection. An +aunt's. dominion, when once well established in early years, cannot +easily be thrown altogether aside even though a young lady have a will +of her own. Now Clara Amedroz had a strong will of her own, and did not +at all at any rate in these latter days belong to that school of +divinity in which her aunt shone almost as a professor. And this +circumstance, also, added to the seriousness of her life. But in regard +to her aunt's money she had entertained no established hopes; and when +her aunt opened her mind to her, on that subject, a few days before the +arrival of the fatal news at Perivale, Clara, though she was somewhat +surprised, was by no means disappointed. Now there was a certain +Captain Aylmer in the question, of whom in this opening chapter it will +be necessary to say a few words. + +Captain Frederic Folliott Aylmer was, in truth, the nephew of Mrs +Winterfield, whereas Clara Amedroz was not, in truth, her niece. And +Captain Aylmer was also Member of Parliament for the little borough of +Perivale, returned altogether on the Low Church interest for a devotion +to which, and for that alone, Perivale was noted among boroughs. These +facts together added not a little to Mrs Winterfield's influence and +professorial power in the place, and gave a dignity to the one-horse +chaise which it might not otherwise have possessed. But Captain Aylmer +was only the second son of his father, Sir Anthony Aylmer, who had +married a Miss Folliott, sister of our Mrs Winterfield. On Frederic +Aylmer his mother's estate was settled. That and Mrs Winterfield's +property lay in the neighbourhood of Perivale; and now, on the occasion +to which I am alluding, Mrs Winterfield thought it necessary to tell +Clara that the property must all go together. She had thought about it, +and had doubted about it, and had prayed about it, and now she found +that such a disposition of it was her duty. + +'I am quite sure you're right, aunt,' Clara had said. She knew very +well what had come of that provision which her father had attempted to +make for her, and knew also how great were her father's expectations in +regard to Mrs Winterfield's money. + +'I hope I am; but I have thought it right to tell you. I shall feel +myself bound to tell Frederic. I have had many doubts, but I think I am +right.' + +'I am sure you are, aunt. What would he think of me if, at some future +time, he should have to find that I had been in his way?' + +'The future time will not be long now, my dear.' + +'I hope it may; but long or short, it is better so.' + +'I think it is, my dear; I think it is. I think it is my duty.' + +It must be understood that Captain Aylmer was member for Perivale on +the Low Church interest, and that, therefore, when at Perivale he was +decidedly a Low Churchman. I am not aware that the peculiarity stuck to +him very closely at Aylmer Castle, in Yorkshire, or among his friends +in London; but there was no hypocrisy in this, as the world goes. Women +in such matters are absolutely false if they be not sincere; but men, +with political views, and with much of their future prospects in +jeopardy also, are allowed to dress themselves differently for +different scenes. Whatever be the peculiar interest on which a man goes +into Parliament, of course he has to live up to that in his own +borough. Whether malt, the franchise, or teetotalism be his rallying +point, of course he is full of it when among his constituents. But it +is not desirable that he should be full of it also at his club. Had +Captain Aylmer become Prime Minister, he would no doubt have made Low +Church bishops. It was the side to which he had taken himself in that +matter not without good reasons. And he could say a sharp word or two +in season about vestments; he was strong against candles, and fought +for his side fairly well. No one had good right to complain of Captain +Aylmer as being insincere; but had his aunt known the whole history of +her nephew's life, I doubt whether she would have made him her heir +thinking that in doing so she was doing the best for the good cause. + +The whole history of her niece's life she did know, and she knew that +Clara was not with her, heart and soul. Had Clara left the old woman in +doubt on this subject, she would have been a hypocrite. Captain Aylmer +did not often spend a Sunday at Perivale, but when he did, he went to +church three times, and submitted himself to the yoke. He was thinking +of the borough votes quite as much as of his aunt's money, and was +carrying on his business after the fashion of men But Clara found +herself compelled to maintain some sort of a fight, though she also +went to church three times on Sunday. And there was another reason why +Mrs Winterfield thought it right to mention Captain Aylmer's name to +her niece on this occasion. + +'I had hoped', she said, 'that it might make no difference in what way +my money was left.' + +Clara well understood what this meant, as will, probably, the reader +also. 'I can't say but what it will make a difference,' she answered, +smiling; 'but I shall always think that you have done right. Why should +I stand in Captain Aylmer's way?' + +'I had hoped your ways might have been the same,' said the old lady, +fretfully. + +'But they cannot be the same.' + +'No; you do not see things as he sees them. Things that are serious to +him are, I fear, only light to you. Dear Clara, would I could see you +more in earnest as to the only matter that is worth our earnestness.' +Miss Amedroz said nothing as to the Captain's earnestness, though, +perhaps, her ideas as to his ideas about religion were more correct +than those held by Mrs Winterfield. But it would not have suited her to +raise any argument on that subject. 'I pray for you, Clara,' continued +the old lady, 'and will do so as long as the power of prayer is left to +me. I hope I hope you do not cease to pray for yourself?' + +'I endeavour, aunt.' + +'It is an endeavour which, if really made, never fails.' Clara said +nothing more, and her aunt also remained silent. Soon afterwards, the +four-wheeled carriage, with the demure stable-boy, came to the door, +and Clara was driven up and down through the streets of Perivale in a +manner which was an injury to her. She knew that she was suffering an +injustice, but it was one of which she could not make complaint. She +submitted to her aunt, enduring the penances that were required of her; +and, therefore, her aunt had opportunity enough to see her +shortcomings. Mrs Winterfield did see them, and judged her accordingly. +Captain Aylmer, being a man and a Member of Parliament, was called upon +to bear no such penances, and, therefore, his shortcomings were not +suspected. + +But, after all, what title had she ever possessed to entertain +expectations from Mrs Winterfield? When she thought of it all in her +room that night, she told herself that it was strange that her aunt +should have spoken to her in such a way on such a subject. But, then, +so much had been said to her on the matter by her father, so much, no +doubt, had reached her aunt's ears also, the hope that her position +with reference to the rich widow at Perivale might be beneficial to her +had been so often discussed at Belton as a make-weight against the +extravagances of the heir, there had already been so much of this +mistake, that she taught herself to perceive that the communication was +needed. 'In her honesty 'she has not chosen to leave me with false +hopes,' said Clara to herself. And at that moment she loved her aunt +for her honesty. + +Then, on the day but one following this conversation as to the destiny +of her aunt's property, came the terrible tidings of her brother's +death. Captain Aylmer, who had been in London at the time, hurried down +to Perivale, and had been the first to tell Miss Amedroz what had +happened. The words spoken between them had not been many, but Clara +knew that Captain Aylmer had been kind to her; and when he had offered +to accompany her to Belton, she had thanked him with a degree of +gratitude which had almost seemed to imply more of regard between them +than Clara would have acknowledged to exist. But in moments such as +those, soft words may be spoken and hands may be pressed without any of +that meaning which soft words and the grasping of hands generally carry +with them. As far as Taunton Captain Aylmer did go with Miss Amedroz, +and there they parted, he on his journey up to town, and she for her +father's desolate house at Belton. + + +CHAPTER II + +THE HEIR PROPOSES TO VISIT HIS COUSIN + +It was full summer at Belton, and the sweet scene of the new hay +filled the porch of the old house with fragrance, as Clara sat there +alone with her work. Immediately before the house door, between that +and the old tower, there stood one of Farmer Stovey's hay-carts, now +empty, with an old horse between the shafts looking as though he were +asleep in the sun. Immediately beyond the tower the men were loading +another cart, and the women and children were chattering as they raked +the scattered remnants up to the rows. tinder the shadow of the old +tower, but in sight of Clara as she sat in the porch, there lay the +small beer-barrels of the hay-makers, and three or four rakes were +standing erect against the old grey wall. It was now eleven o'clock, +and Clara was waiting for her father, who was not yet out of his room. +She had taken his breakfast to him in bed, as was her custom; for he +had fallen into idle ways, and the luxury of his bed was, of all his +remaining luxuries, the one that he liked the best. After a while he +came down to her, having an open letter in his hand. Clara saw that he +intended either to show it to her or to speak of it, and asked him +therefore, with some tone of interest in her voice, from whom it had +come. But Mr Amedroz was fretful at the moment, and instead of +answering her began to complain of his tenant's ill-usage of him. + +'What has he got his cart there for? I haven't let him the road up to +the hall door. I suppose he will bring his things into the parlour +next.' + +'I rather like it, papa.' + +'Do you? I can only say that you're lucky in your tastes. I don't like +it, I can tell you.' + +'Mr Stovey is out there. Shall I ask him to have the things moved +farther off?' + +'No, my dear no. I must bear it, as I do all the rest of it. What does +it matter? There'll be an end of it soon. He pays his rent, and I +suppose he is right to do as he pleases. But I can't say that I like +it.' + +'Am I to see the letter, papa?' she asked, wishing to turn his mind +from the subject of the hay-cart. + +'Well, yes. I brought it for you to see; though perhaps I should be +doing better if I burned it, and said nothing more about it. It is a +most impudent production; and heartless very heartless.' + +Clara was accustomed to such complaints as these from her father. +Everything that everybody did around him he would call heartless. The +man pitied himself so much in his own misery, that he expected to live +in an atmosphere of pity from others; and though the pity doubtless was +there, he misdoubted it. He thought that Farmer Stovey was cruel in +that he had left the hay-cart near the house, to wound his eyes by +reminding him that he was no longer master of the ground before his own +hall door. He thought that the women and children were cruel to chatter +so near his ears. He almost accused his daughter of cruelty, because +she had told him that she liked the contiguity of the hay-making. Under +such circumstances as those which enveloped him and her, was it not +heartless in her to like anything? It seemed to him that the whole +world of Belton should be drowned in woe because of his misery. + +'Where is it from, papa?' she asked. + +'There, you may read it. Perhaps it is better that you should know that +it has been written.' Then she read the letter, which was as follows + +'Plaistow Hall + +July, 186' + +Though she had never before seen the handwriting, she knew at once from +whence came the letter, for she had often heard of Plaistow Hall. It +was the name of the farm at which her distant cousin, Will Belton, +lived, and her father had more than once been at the trouble of +explaining to her, that though the place was called a hall, the house +was no more than a farmhouse. He had never seen Plaistow Hall, and had +never been in Norfolk; but so much he could take upon himself to say, +'They call all the farms halls down there.' It was not wonderful that +he should dislike his heir; and perhaps not unnatural that he should +show his dislike after this fashion. Clara, when she read the address, +looked up into her father's face. 'You know who it is now,' he said. +And then she read the letter. + +'Plaistow Hall + +July, 186 + +I have not written to you before since your bereavement, thinking it +better to wait awhile; but I hope you have not taken me to be unkind in +this, or have supposed me to be unmindful of your sorrow. Now I take up +my pen, hoping that I may make you understand how greatly I was +distressed by what has occurred. I believe I am now the nearest male +relative that you have, and as such I am very anxious to be of service +to you if it may be possible. Considering the closeness of our +connexion, and my position in reference to the property, it seems bad +that we should never meet. I can assure you that you would find me very +friendly if we could manage to come together. + +I should think nothing of running across to Belton, if you would +receive me at your house. I could come very well before harvest, if +that would suit you, and would stay with you for a week. Pray give my +kindest regards to my cousin Clara, whom I can only just remember as a +very little girl. She was with her aunt at Perivale when I was at +Belton as a boy. She shall find a friend in me if she wants a friend. + +Your affectionate cousin, + +W. BELTON.' + +Clara read the letter very slowly, so that she might make herself sure +of its tone and bearing before she was called upon by her father to +express her feeling respecting it. She knew that she would be expected +to abuse it violently, and to accuse the writer of vulgarity, +insolence, and cruelty, but she had already learned that she must not +allow herself to accede to all her father's fantasies. For his sake, +and for his protection, it was necessary that she should differ from +him, and even contradict him. Were she not to do so, he would fall into +a state of wailing and complaining that would exaggerate itself almost +to idiotcy. And it was imperative that she herself should exercise her +own opinion on many points, almost without reference to him. She alone +knew how utterly destitute she would be when he should die. He, in the +first days of his agony, had sobbed forth his remorse as to her ruin; +but, even when doing so, he had comforted himself with the remembrance +of Miss Winterfield's money and Mrs Winterfield's affection for his +daughter. And the aunt, when she had declared her purpose to Clara, had +told herself that the provision made for Clara by her father was +sufficient. To neither of them had Clara told her own position. She +could not inform her aunt that her father had given up to the poor +reprobate who had destroyed himself all that had been intended for her. +Had she done so she would have been asking her aunt for charity. Nor +would she bring herself to add to her father's misery, by destroying +the hopes which still supported him. She never spoke of her own +position in regard to money, but she knew that it had become her duty +to live a wary, watchful life, taking much upon herself in their +impoverished household, and holding her own opinion against her +father's when her doing so became expedient. So she finished the letter +in silence, and did not speak at the moment when the movement of her +eyes declared that she had completed the task. + +'Well?' said he. + +'I do not think my cousin means badly.' + +'You don't! I do, then. I think he means very badly. What business has +he to write to me, talking of his position?' + +'I can't see anything amiss in his doing so, papa. I think he wishes to +be friendly. The property will be his some day, and I don't see why +that should not be mentioned, when there is occasion.' + +'Upon my word, Clara, you surprise me. But women never understood +delicacy in regard to money. They have so little to do with it, and +think so little about it, that they have no occasion for such delicacy.' + +Clara could not help the thought that to her mind the subject was +present with sufficient frequency to make delicacy very desirable, if +only it were practicable. But of this she said nothing. 'And what +answer will you send to him, papa?' she asked. + +'None at all. Why should I trouble myself to write to him?' + +'I will take the trouble off your hands.' + +'And what will you say to him?' + +'I will ask him to come here, as he proposes.' + +'Clara!' + +'Why not, papa? He is the heir to the property, and why should he not +be permitted to see it? There are many things in which his co-operation +with you might be a comfort to you. I can't tell you whether the +tenants and people are treating you well, but he can do so; and, +moreover, I think he means to be kind. I do not see why we should +quarrel with our cousin because he is the heir to your property. It is +not through any doing of his own that he is so.' + +This reasoning had no effect upon Mr Amedroz, but his daughter's +resolution carried the point against him in spite of his want of +reason. No letter was written that day, or on the next; but on the day +following a formal note was sent off by Clara, in which Mr Belton was +told that Mr Amedroz would be happy to receive him at Belton Castle. +The letter was written by the daughter, but the father was responsible +for the formality. He sat over her while she wrote it, and nearly drove +her distracted by discussing every word and phrase. At last, Clara was +so annoyed with her own production, that she was almost tempted to +write another letter unknown to her father; but the formal note went. + +'My Dear Sir + +'I am desired by my father to say that he will be happy to receive you +at Belton Castle, at the time fixed by yourself. + +Yours truly, + +CLARA AMEDROZ.' + +There was no more than that, but that had the desired effect; and by +return of post there came a rejoinder saying that Will Belton would be +at the Castle on the fifteenth of August. 'They can do without me for +about ten days,' he said in his postscript, writing in a familiar tone, +which did not seem to have been at all checked by the coldness of his +cousin's note 'as our harvest will be late; but I must be back for a +week's work before the partridges.' + +'Heartless! quite heartless!' Mr Amedroz said as he read this. +'Partridges! to talk of partridges at such a time as this!' + +Clara, however, would not acknowledge that she agreed with her father; +but she could not altogether restrain a feeling on her own part that +her cousin's good humour towards her and Mr Amedroz should have been +repressed by the tone of her letter to him. The man was to come, +however, and she would not judge of him until he was there. + +In one house in the neighbourhood, and in only one, had Miss Amedroz a +friend with whom she was intimate; and as regarded even this single +friend, the intimacy was the effect rather of circumstances than of +real affection. She liked Mrs Askerton, and saw her almost daily; but +she could hardly tell herself that she loved her neighbour. + +In the little town of Belton, close to the church, there stood a +pretty, small house, called Belton Cottage. It was so near the church +that strangers always supposed it to be the parsonage; but the rectory +stood away out in. the country, half a mile from the town, on the road +to Redicote, and was a large house, three stories high, with grounds of +its own, and very ugly. Here lived the old bachelor rector, seventy +years of age, given much to long absences when he could achieve them, +and never on good terms with his bishop. His two curates lived at +Redicote, where there was a second church. Belton Cottage, which was +occupied by Colonel Askerton and Mrs Askerton, was on the Amedroz +property, and had been hired some two years since by the Colonel, who +was then a stranger in the country and altogether unknown to the Belton +people. But he had come there for shooting, and therefore his coming +had been understood. Even as long ago as two years since, there had +been neither use nor propriety in keeping the shooting for the squire's +son, and it had been let with the cottage to Colonel Askerton. So +Colonel Askerton had come there with his wife, and no one in the +neighbourhood had known anything about them. Mr Amedroz, with his +daughter, had called upon them, and gradually there had grown up an +intimacy between Clara and Mrs Askerton. There was an opening from the +garden of Belton Cottage into the park, so that familiar intercourse +was easy, and Mrs Askerton was a woman who knew well how to make +herself pleasant to such another woman as Miss Amedroz. + +The reader may as well know at ones that rumours prejudicial to the +Askertons reached Belton before they had been established there for six +months. At Taunton, which was twenty miles distant, these rumours were +very rife, and there were people there who knew with accuracy though +probably without a grain of truth in their accuracy every detail in the +history of Mrs Askerton's life. And something, too, reached Clara's +ears something from old Mr Wright, the rector, who loved scandal, and +was very ill-natured. 'A very nice woman,' the rector had said; 'but +she does not seem to have any belongings in particular.' 'She has got a +husband,' Clara had replied with some little indignation, for she had +never loved Mr Wright. 'Yes; I suppose she has got a husband.' Then +Clara had, in her own judgment, accused the rector of lying, +evil-speaking, and slandering, and had increased the measure of her +cordiality to Mrs Askerton. But something more she had heard on the +same subject at Perivale. 'Before you throw yourself into close +intimacy with the lady, I think you should know something about her,' +Mrs Winterfield had said to her. ' I do know something about her; I +know that she has the manners and education of a lady, and that she is +living affectionately with her husband, who is devoted to her. What +more ought I to know?' 'If you really do know all that, you know a +great deal,' Mrs Winterfield had replied. + +'Do you know anything against her, aunt?' Clara asked, after a pause. + +There was another pause before Mrs Winterfield answered. 'No, my dear; +I cannot say that I do. But I think that young ladies, before they make +intimate friendships, should be very sure of their friends.' + +'You have already acknowledged that I know a great deal about her,' +Clara replied. And then the conversation was at an end. Clara had not +been quite ingenuous, as she acknowledged to herself. She was aware +that her aunt would not permit herself to repeat rumours as to the +truth of which she had no absolute knowledge. She understood that the +weakness of her aunt's caution was due to the old lady's sense of +charity and dislike of slander. But Clara had buckled on her armour for +Mrs Askerton, and was glad, therefore, to achieve her little victory. +When we buckle on our armour in any cause, we are apt to go on buckling +it, let the cause become as weak as it may; and Clara continued her +intimacy with Mrs Askerton, although there was something in the lady's +modes of speech, and something also in her modes of thinking, which did +not quite satisfy the aspirations of Miss Amedroz as to a friend. + +Colonel Askerton himself was a pleasant, quiet man, who seemed to be +contented with the life which he was leading. For six weeks in April +and May he would go up to town, leaving Mrs Askerton at the cottage as +to which, probably jovial, absence in the metropolis there seemed to be +no spirit of grudging on the part of the wife. On the first of +September a friend would come to the cottage and remain there for six +weeks' shooting: and during the winter the Colonel and his wife always +went to Paris for a fortnight. Such had been their life for the last +two years; and thus so said Mrs Askerton to Clara did they intend to +live as long as they could keep the cottage at Belton. Society at +Belton they had none, and as they said desired none. Between them and +Mr Wright there was only a speaking acquaintance. The married curate at +Redicote would not let his wife call on Mrs Askerton, and the unmarried +curate was a hard-worked, clerical hack a parochial minister at all +times and seasons, who went to no houses except the houses of the poor, +and who would hold communion with no man, and certainly with no woman, +who would not put up with clerical admonitions for Sunday backslidings. +Mr Amedroz himself neither received guests nor went as a guest to other +men's houses. He would occasionally stand for a while at the gate of +the Colonel's garden, and repeat the list of his own woes as long as +his neighbour would stand there to hear it. But there was no society at +Belton, and Clara, as far as she herself was aware, was the only person +with whom Mrs Askerton held any social intercourse, except what she +might have during her short annual holiday in Paris. + +'Of course, you are right,' she said, when Clara told her of the +proposed coming of Mr Belton. 'If he turn out to be a good fellow, you +will have gained a great deal. And should he be a bad, fellow, you will +have lost nothing. In either case you will know him, and considering +how he stands towards you, that itself is desirable.' + +'But if he should annoy papa?' + +'In your papa's condition, my dear, the coming of any one will annoy +him. At least, he will say so; though I do not in the least doubt that +he will like the excitement better even than you will.' + +'I can't say there will be much excitement to me.' + +'No excitement in a young man's coming into the house! Without shocking +your propriety, allow me to say that that is impossible. Of course, he +is coming to see whether he can't make matters all right by marrying +you.' + +'That's nonsense, Mrs Askerton.' + +'Very well. Let it be nonsense. But why shouldn't he? It's just what he +ought to do. He hasn't got a wife; and, as far as I know, you haven't +got a lover.' + +'I certainly have not got a lover.' + +'Our religious nephew at Perivale does not seem to be of any use.' + +'I wish, Mrs Askerton, you would not speak of Captain Aylmer in that +way. I don't know any man whom I like so much, or at any rate better, +than Captain Aylmer; but I hate the idea that no girl can become +acquainted with an unmarried man without having her name mentioned with +his, and having to hear ill-natured remarks of that kind.' + +'I hope you will learn to like this other man much better. Think how +nice it will be to be mistress of the old place after all. And then to +go back to the old family name! If I were you I would make up my mind +not to let him leave the place till I had brought him to my feet.' + +'If you go on like that I will not speak to you about him again.' + +'Or rather not to my feet for gentlemen have laid aside the humble way +of making love for the last twenty years at least; but I don't know +whether the women haven't gained quite as much by the change as the +men.' + +'As I know nothing will stop you when you once get into a vein of that +kind, I shall go,' said Clara. 'And till this man has come and gone I +shall not mention his name again in your presence.' + +'So be it,' said Mrs Askerton; 'but as I will promise to say nothing +more about him, you need not go on his account.' But Clara had got up, +and did leave the cottage at once. + + +CHAPTER III + +WILL BELTON + +Mr Belton came to the castle, and nothing further had been said at the +cottage about his coming. Clara had seen Mrs Askerton in the meantime +frequently, but that lady had kept her promise almost to Clara's +disappointment. For she though she had in truth disliked the +proposition that her cousin could be coming with any special views with +reference to herself had nevertheless sufficient curiosity about the +stranger to wish to talk about him. Her father, indeed, mentioned +Belton's name very frequently, saying something with reference to him +every time he found himself in his daughter's presence. A dozen times +he said that the man was heartless to come to the house at such a time, +and he spoke of his cousin always as though the man were guilty of a +gross injustice in being heir to the property. But not the less on that +account did he fidget himself about the room in which Belton was to +sleep, about the food that Belton was to eat, and especially about the +wine that Belton was to drink. What was he to do for wine? The stock of +wine in the cellars at Belton Castle was, no doubt, very low. The +squire himself drank a glass or two of port daily, and had some remnant +of his old treasures by him, which might perhaps last him his time; and +occasionally there came small supplies of sherry from the grocer at +Taunton; but Mr Amedroz pretended to think that Will Belton would want +champagne and claret and he would continue to make these suggestions in +spite of his own repeated complaints that the man was no better than an +ordinary farmer. 'I've no doubt he'll like beer,' said Clara. 'Beer!' +said her father, and then stopped himself, as though. he were lost in +doubt whether it would best suit him to scorn his cousin for having so +low a taste as that suggested on his behalf, or to ridicule his +daughter's idea that the household difficulty admitted of so convenient +a solution. + +The day of the arrival at last came, and Clara certainly was in a +twitter, although she had steadfastly resolved that she would be in no +twitter at all. She had told her aunt by letter of the proposed visit, +and Mrs Winterfield had expressed her approbation, saying that she +hoped it would lead to good results. Of what good results could her +aunt be thinking? The one probable good result would surely. be this +that relations so nearly connected should know each other. Why should +there be any fuss made about such a visit? But, nevertheless, Clara, +though she made no outward fuss, knew that inwardly she was not as calm +about the man's coming as she would have wished herself to be. + +He arrived about five o'clock in a gig from Taunton. Five was the +ordinary dinner hour at Belton, but it had been postponed till six on +this day, in the hope that the cousin might make his appearance at any +rate by that hour. Mr Amedroz had uttered various complaints as to the +visitor's heartlessness in not having written to name the hour of his +arrival, and was manifestly intending to make the most of the grievance +should he not present himself before six but this indulgence was cut +short by the sound of the gig wheels. Mr Amedroz and his daughter were +sitting in a small drawing-room which looked out to the front of the +house, and he, seated in his accustomed chair near the window, could +see the arrival. For a moment or two he remained quiet in his chair, as +though he would not allow so insignificant a thing as his cousin's +coming to ruffle him but he could not maintain this dignified +indifference, and before Belton was out of the gig he had shuffled out +into the hall. + +Clara followed her father almost unconsciously, and soon found herself +shaking hands with a big man, over six feet high, broad in the +shoulders, large limbed, with bright quick grey eyes, a large mouth, +teeth almost too perfect and a well-formed nose, with thick short brown +hair and small whiskers which came half-way down his cheeks a decidedly +handsome man with a florid face, but still, perhaps, with something of +the promised roughness of the farmer. But a more good-humoured looking +countenance Clara felt at once that she had never beheld. + +'And you are the little girl that I remember when I was a boy at Mr +Folliott's?' he said. His voice was clear, and rather loud, but it +sounded very pleasant in that sad old house. + +'Yes; I am the little girl,' said Clara smiling. + +'Dear, dear! and that's twenty years ago now,' said he. + +'But you oughtn't to remind me of that, Mr Belton.' + +'Oughtn't I? Why not?' + +'Because it shows how very old I am.' + +'Ah, yes to be sure. But there's nobody here that signifies. How well I +remember this room and the old tower out there. It isn't changed a bit!' + +'Not to the outward eye, perhaps,' said the squire. + +'That's what I mean. So they're making hay still. Our hay has been all +up these three weeks. I didn't know you ever meadowed the park.' Here +he trod with dreadful severity upon the corns of Mr Amedroz, but he did +not perceive it. And when the squire muttered something about a tenant, +and the inconvenience of keeping land in his own hands, Belton would +have gone on with the subject had not Clara changed the conversation. +The squire complained bitterly of this to Clara when they were alone, +saying that it was very heartless. + +She had a little scheme of her own a plan arranged for the saying of a +few words to her cousin on the earliest opportunity of their being +alone together and she contrived that this should take place within +half an hour after his arrival, as he went through the hall up to his +room. 'Mr Belton,' she said, 'I'm sure you will not take it amiss if I +take a cousin's privilege at once and explain to you something of our +way of living here. My dear father is not very strong.' + +'He is much altered since I saw him last.' + +'Oh, yes. Think of all that he has had to bear! Well, Mr Belton, the +fact is, that we are not so well off as we used to be, and are obliged +to live in a very quiet way. You will not mind that?' + +'Who? I?' + +'I take it very kind of you, your coming all this way to see us' + +'I'd have come three times the distance.' + +'But you must put up with us as you find us, you know. The truth is we +are very poor.' + +'Well, now that's just what I wanted to know. One couldn't write and +ask such a question; but I was sure I should find out if I came.' + +'You've found it out already, you see.' + +'As for being poor, it's a thing I don't think very much about not for +young people. But it isn't comfortable when a man gets old. Now what I +want to know is this; can't something be done?' + +'The only thing to do is to be very kind to him. He has had to let the +park to Mr Stovey, and he doesn't like talking about it.' + +'But if it isn't talked about, how can it be mended?' + +'It can't be mended.' + +'We'll see about that. But I'll be kind to him; you see if I ain't. And +I'll tell you what, I'll be kind to you too, if you'll let me. You have +got no brother now.' + +'No,' said Clara; 'I have got no brother now.' Belton was looking full +into her face, and saw that her eyes had become clouded with tears. + +'I will be your brother,' said he. 'You see if I don't. When I say a +thing I mean it. I will be your brother.' And he took her hand, +caressing it, and showing her that he was not in the least afraid of +her. He was blunt in his bearing, saying things which her father would +have called indelicate and heartless, as though they gave him no +effort, and placing himself at once almost in a position of ascendency. +This Clara had not intended. She had thought that her farmer cousin, in +spite of the superiority of his prospects as heir to the property, +would have acceded to her little hints with silent acquiescence; but +instead of this he seemed prepared to take upon himself the chief part +in the play that was to be acted between them. 'Shall it be so?' he +said, still holding her hand. + +'You are very kind.' + +'I will be more than kind; I will love you dearly if you will let me. +You don't suppose that I have looked you up here for nothing. Blood is +thicker than water, and you have nobody now so near to you as I am. I +don't see why you should be so poor, as the debts have been paid.' + +'Papa has had to borrow money on his life interest in the place.' + +'That's the mischief! Never mind. We'll see if we can't do something. +And in the meantime don't make a stranger of me. Anything does for me. +Lord bless you! if you were to see how I rough it sometimes! I can eat +beans and bacon with any one; and what's more, I can go without 'em if +I can't get 'em.' + +'We'd better get ready for dinner now. I always dress, because papa +likes to see it.' This she said as a hint to her cousin that he would +be expected to change his coat, for her father would have been annoyed +had his guest sat down to dinner without such ceremony. Will Belton was +not very good at taking hints; but he did understand this, and made the +necessary change in his apparel. + +The evening was long and dull, and nothing occurred worthy of remark +except the surprise manifested by Mr Amedroz when Belton called his +daughter by her Christian name. This he did without the slightest +hesitation, as though it were the most natural thing in the world for +him to do. She was his cousin, and cousins of course addressed each +other in that way. Clara's quick eye immediately saw her father's +slight gesture of dismay, but Belton caught nothing of this. The squire +took an early opportunity of calling him Mr Belton with some little +peculiarity of expression; but this was altogether lost on Will, who +five times in the next five minutes addressed 'Clara' as though they +were already on the most intimate terms. She would have answered him in +the same way, and would have called him Will, had she not been afraid +of offending her father. + +Mr Amedroz had declared his purpose of coming down to breakfast during +the period of his cousin's visit, and at half-past nine he was in the +parlour. Clara had been there some time, but had not seen her cousin. +He entered the room immediately after her father, bringing his hat with +him in his hand, and wiping the drops of perspiration from his brow. +'You have been out, Mr Belton,' said the squire. + +'All round the place, sir. Six o'clock doesn't often find me in bed, +summer or winter. What's the use of laying in bed when one has had +enough of sleep?' + +'But that's just the question,' said Clara; 'whether one has had enough +at six o'clock.' + +'Women want more than men, of course. A man, if he means to do any good +with land, must be out early. The grass will grow of itself at nights, +but it wants looking after as soon as the daylight comes.' + +'I don't know that it would do much good to the grass here,' said the +squire, mournfully. + +'As much here as anywhere. And indeed I've got something to say about +that.' He had now seated himself at the breakfast-table, and was +playing with his knife and fork. 'I think, sir, you're hardly making +the best you can out of the park.' + +'We won't mind talking about it, if you please,' said the squire. + +'Well; of course I won't, if you don't like it; but upon my word you +ought to look about you; you ought indeed.' + +'In what way do you mean?' said Clara. + +'If your father doesn't like to keep the land in his own hands, he +should let it to some one who would put stock in it not go on cutting +it year after year and putting nothing back, as this fellow will do. +I've been talking to Stovey, and that's just what he means.' + +'Nobody here has got money to put stock on the land,' said the squire, +angrily. + +'Then you should look for somebody somewhere else. That's all. I'll +tell you what now, Mr Amedroz, I'll do it myself.' By this time he had +helped himself to two large slices of cold mutton, and was eating his +breakfast and talking with an equal amount of energy for either +occupation. + +'That's out of the question,' said the squire. + +'I don't see why it should be out of the question. It would be better +for you and better for me too, if this place is ever to be mine.' On +hearing this the squire winced, but said nothing. This terrible fellow +was so vehemently outspoken that the poor old man was absolutely unable +to keep pace with him even to the repeating of his wish that the matter +should be talked of no further. 'I'll tell you what I'll do, now,' +continued Belton. 'There's altogether, outside the palings and in, +about a hundred and fifty acres of it. I'll give you one pound two and +sixpence an acre, and I won't cut an acre of grass inside the park no, +nor much of it outside either only just enough to give me a little +fodder for the cattle in winter.' + +'And give up Plaistow Hall?' asked Clara. + +'Lord love you, no. I've a matter of nine hundred acres on hand there, +and most of it under the plough. I've counted it up, and it would just +cost me a thousand pounds to stock this place. I should come and look +at it twice a year or so, and I should see my money home again, if I +didn't get any profit out of it.' + +Mr Amedroz was astonished. The man had only been in his house one +night, and was proposing to take all his troubles off his hands. He did +not relish the proposition at all. He did not like to be accused of not +doing as well for himself as others could do for him. He did not wish +to make any change although he remembered at the moment his anger with +Farmer Stovey respecting the haycarts. He did not desire that the heir +should have any immediate interest in the place. But he was not strong +enough to meet the proposition with a direct negative. 'I couldn't get +rid of Stovey in that way,' he said, plaintively. I've settled it all +with Stovey already,' said Belton. 'He'll be glad enough to walk off +with a twenty-pound note, which I'll give him. He can't make money out +of the place. He hasn't got means to stock it, and then see the wages +that hay-making runs away with! He'd lose by it even at what he's +paying, and he knows it. There won't be any difficulty about Stovey.' + +By twelve o'clock on that day Mr Stovey had been brought into the +house, and had resigned the land. It had been let to Mr William Belton +at an increased rental a rental increased by nearly forty pounds per +annum and that gentleman had already made many of his arrangements for +entering upon his tenancy. The twenty pounds had already been paid to +Stovey, and the transaction was complete. Mr Amedroz sat in his chair +bewildered, dismayed and, as he himself declared shocked, quite +shocked, at the precipitancy of the young man. It might be for the +best. He didn't know. He didn't feel at all sure. But such hurrying in +such a matter was, under all the circumstances of the family, to say +the least of it, very indelicate. He was angry with himself for having +yielded, and angry with Clara for having allowed him to do so. 'It +doesn't signify much,' he said, at last. 'Of course he'll have it all +to himself before long.' + +'But, papa, it really seems to be a much better arrangement for you. +You'll get more money' + +'Money is not everything, my dear.' + +'But you'd sooner have Mr Belton, our own cousin, about the place, than +Mr Stovey.' + +'I don't know. We shall see. The thing is done now, and there is no use +in complaining. I must say he hasn't shown a great deal of delicacy.' + +On that afternoon Belton asked Clara to go out with him, and walk round +the place. He had been again about the grounds, and had made plans, and +counted up capabilities, and calculated his profit and losses. 'If you +don't dislike scrambling about,' said he, 'I'll show you everything +that I intend to do.' + +'But I can't have any changes made, Mr Belton,' said Mr Amedroz, with +some affectation of dignity in his manner. 'I won't have the fences +moved, or anything of that kind.' + +'Nothing shall be done, sir, that you don't approve. I'll just manage +it all as if I was acting as your own bailiff.' 'Son,' he was going to +say, but he remembered the fate of his cousin Charles just in time to +prevent the use of the painful word. + +'I don't want to have anything done,' said Mr Amedroz. + +'Then nothing shall be done. We'll just mend a fence or two, to keep in +the cattle, and leave other things as they are. But perhaps Clara will +walk out with me all the same.' + +Clara was quite ready to walk out, and had already tied on her hat and +taken her parasol. + +'Your father is a little nervous,' said he, as soon as they were beyond +hearing of the house. + +'Can you wonder at it, when you remember all that he has suffered.' + +'I don't wonder at it in the least; and I don't wonder at his disliking +me either.' + +'I don't think he dislikes you, Mr Belton.' + +'Oh, but he does. Of course he does. I'm the heir to the place instead +of you. It is natural that he should dislike me. But I'll live it down. +You see if I don't. I'll make him so fond of me, he'll always want to +have me here. I don't mind a little dislike to begin with.' + +'You're a wonderful man, Mr Belton.' + +'I wish you wouldn't call me Mr Belton. But of course you must do as +you please about that. If I can make him call me Will, I suppose you'll +call me so too.' + +'Oh, yes; then I will.' + +'It don't much matter what a person is called; does it! Only one likes +to be friendly with one's friends. I suppose you don't like my calling +you Clara.' + +'Now you've begun you had better go on.' + +'I mean to. I make it a rule never to go back in the world. Your father +is half sorry that he has agreed about the place; but I shan't let him +off now. And I'll tell you what. In spite of what he says, I'll have it +as different as possible before this time next year. 'Why, there's lots +of timber that ought to come out of the plantation; and there's places +where the roots want stubbing up horribly. These things always pay for +themselves if they are properly done. Any good done in the world always +pays.' Clara often remembered those words afterwards when she was +thinking of her cousin's character. Any good done in the world always +pays! + +'But you mustn't offend my father, even though it should do good,' she +said. + +'I understand,' he answered. 'I won't tread on his toes. Where do you +get your milk and butter?' + +'We buy them.' + +'From Stovey, I suppose.' + +'Yes; from Mr Stovey. It goes against the rent.' + +'And it ought to go against the grain too living in the country and +paying for milk! I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll give you a cow. It +shall be a little present from me to you.' He said nothing of the more +important present which this would entail upon him in the matter of the +grass for the cow; but she understood the nature of the arrangement, +and was anxious to prevent it. + +'Oh, Mr Belton, I think we'd better not attempt that,' she said. + +'But we will attempt it. I've pledged myself to do nothing to oppose +your father; but I've made no such promise as to you. We'll have a cow +before I'm many days older. What a pretty place this is! I do like +these rocks so much, and it is such a comfort to be off the flat.' + +'It is pretty.' + +'Very pretty. You've no conception what an ugly place Plaistow is. The +land isn't actual fen now, but it was once. And it's quite flat. And +there is a great dike, twenty feet wide, oozing through it just oozing, +you know; and lots of little dikes, at right angles with the big one. +And the fields are all square. And there are no hedges and hardly a +tree to be seen in the place. + +'What a picture you have drawn! I should commit suicide if I lived +there.' + +'Not if you had so much to do as I have.' + +'And what is the house like?' + +'The house is good enough an old-fashioned manor-house, with high brick +chimneys, and brick gables, tiled all over, and large square windows +set in stone. The house is good enough, only it stands in the middle of +a farm-yard. I said there were no trees, but there is an avenue.' + +'Come, that is something.' + +'It was an old family seat, and they used to have avenues in those +days; but it doesn't lead up to the present hail door. It comes +sideways up to the farm. yard; so that the whole thing must have been +different once, and there must have been a great court-yard. In +Elizabeth's time Plaistow Manor was rather a swell place, and belonged +to some Roman Catholics who came to grief, and then the Howards got it. +There's a whole history about it, only I don't care much about those +things.' + +'And is it yours now?' + +'It's between me and my uncle, and I pay him rent for his part. He's a +clergyman you know, and he has a living in Lincolnshire not far off.' + +'And do you live alone in that big house?' + +'There's my sister. You've heard of Mary haven't you?' + +Then Clara remembered that there was a Miss Belton, a poor sickly +creature, with a twisted spine and a hump back, as to whose welfare she +ought to have made inquiries. + +'Oh yes; of course,' said Clara. 'I hope she's better than she used to +be when we heard of her.' + +'She'll never be better. But then she does not become much worse. I +think she does grow a little weaker. She's older than I am, you know +two years older; but you would think she was quite an old woman to look +at her.' Then, for the next half-hour, they talked about Mary Belton as +they visited every corner of the place. Belton still had an eye to +business as he went on talking, and Clara remarked how many sticks he +moved as he went, how many stones he kicked on one side, and how +invariably he noted any defect in the fences. But still he talked of +his sister, swearing that she was as good as gold, and at last wiping +away the tears from his eyes as he described her maladies. 'And yet I +believe she is better off than any of us,' he said, 'because she is so +good.' Clara began to wish that she had called him Will from the +beginning, because she liked him so much. He was just the man to have +for a cousin a true loving cousin, stalwart, self-confident, with a +grain or two of tyranny in his composition as becomes a man in relation +to his intimate female relatives; and one, moreover, with whom she +could trust herself to be familiar without any danger of love-making! +She saw his character clearly, and told herself that she understood it +perfectly. He wag a jewel of a cousin, and she must begin to call him +Will as speedily as possible. + +At last they came round in their walk to the gate leading into Colonel +Askerton's garden; and here in the garden, close to the gate, they +found Mrs Askerton. I fancy that she had been watching for them, or at +any rate watching for Clara, so that she might know how her friend was +carrying herself with her cousin. She came at once to the wicket, and +there she was introduced by Clara to Mr Belton. Mr Belton, as he made +his bow, muttered something awkwardly, and seemed to lose his self- +possession for the moment. Mrs Askerton was very gracious to him, and +she knew well how to be both gracious and ungracious. She talked about +the scenery, and the charms of the old place, and the dullness of the +people around them, and the inexpediency of looking for society in +country places; till after awhile Mr Belton was once more at his ease. + +'How is Colonel Askerton?' asked Clara. + +'He's in-doors. Will you come and see him? He's reading a French novel, +as usual. It's the only thing he ever does in summer. Do you ever read +French novels, Mr Belton?' + +'I read very little at all, and when I do I read English.' + +'Ah, you're a man who has a pursuit in life, no doubt.' + +'I should rather think so that is, if you mean, by a pursuit, earning +my bread. A man has not much time for French novels with a thousand +acres of land on his hands; even if he knew how to read French, which I +don't.' + +'But you're not always at work on your farm?' + +'It's pretty constant, Mrs Askerton. Then I shoot, and hunt.' + +'You're a sportsman?' + +'All men living in the country are more or less.' + +'Colonel Askerton shoots a great deal. He has the shooting of Belton, +you know. He'll be delighted, I'm sure, to see you if you are here some +time in September. But you, coming from Norfolk, would not care for +partridge-shooting in Somersetshire.' + +'I don't see why it shouldn't be as good here as there.' + +'Colonel Askerton thinks he has got a fair head of game upon the place.' + +'I dare say. Game is easily kept if people knew how to set about it.' + +'Colonel Askerton has a very good keeper, and has gone to a great deal +of expense since he has been here.' + +'I'm my own head-keeper,' said Belton;' and so I will be or rather +should be, if I had this place.' + +Something in the lady's tone had grated against his feelings and +offended him; or perhaps he thought that she assumed too many of the +airs of proprietorship because the shooting of the place had been let +to her husband for thirty pounds a year. + +'I hope you don't mean to say you'll turn us out,' said Mrs Askerton, +laughing. + +'I have no power to turn anybody out or in,' said he. 'I've got nothing +to do with it.' + +Clara, perceiving that matters were not going quite pleasantly between +her old and new friend, thought it best to take her departure. Belton, +as he went, lifted his hat from his head, and Clara could not keep +herself from thinking that he was not only very handsome, but that he +looked very much like a gentleman, in spite of his occupation as a +farmer. + +'Bye-bye, Clara,' said Mrs Askerton; 'come down and see me tomorrow, +there's a dear. Don't forget what a dull life I have of it.' Clara said +that she would come. And I shall be so happy to see Mr Belton if he +will call before he leaves you.' At this Belton again raised his hat +from his head, and muttered some word or two of civility. But this, his +latter muttering, was different from the first, for he had altogether +regained his presence of mind. + +'You didn't seem to get on very well with my friend,' said Clara, +laughing, as soon as they had turned away from the cottage. + +'Well, no that is to say, not particularly well or particularly badly. +At first I took her for somebody else I knew slightly ever so long ago, +and I was thinking of that other person at the time.' + +'And what was the other person's name?' + +'I can't even remember that at the present moment.' + +'Mrs Askerton was a Miss Oliphant.' + +'That wasn't the other lady's name. But, independently of that, they +can't be the same. The other lady married a Mr Berdmore.' + +'A Mr Berdmore!' Clara as she repeated the name felt convinced that she +had heard it before, and that she had heard it in connexion with Mrs +Askerton. She certainly had heard the name of Berdmore pronounced, or +had seen it written, or had in some shape come across the name in Mrs +Askerton's presence; or at any rate somewhere on the premises occupied +by that lady. More than this she could not remember; but the name, as +she had now heard it from her cousin, became at once distinctly +connected in her memory with her friends at the cottage. + +'Yes,' said Belton; 'a Berdmore. I knew more of him than of her, though +for the matter of that, I knew very little of him either. She was a +fast-going girl, and his friends were very sorry. But I think they are +both dead or divorced, or that they have come to grief in some way.' + +'And is Mrs Askerton like the fast-going lady?' + +'In a certain way. Not that I remember what the fast-going lady was +like; but there was something about this woman that put me in mind of +the other. Vigo was her name; now I recollect it a Miss Vigo. It's nine +or ten years ago now, and I was little more than a boy.' + +'Her name was Oliphant.' + +'I don't suppose they have anything to do with each other. What riled +me was the way she talked of the shooting. People do when they take a +little shooting. They pay some trumpery thirty or forty pounds a year, +and then they seem to think that it's almost the same as though they +owned the property themselves. I've known a man talk of his manor +because he had the shooting of a wood and a small farm round it. They +are generally shop-keepers out of London, gin distillers, or brewers, +or people like that.' + +'Why, Mr Belton, I didn't think you could be so furious! + +'Can't I? When my back's up, it is up! But it isn't up yet.' + +'And I hope it won't be up while you remain in Somersetshire.' + +'I won't answer for that. There's Stovey's empty cart standing just +where it stood yesterday; and he promised he'd have it home before +three today. My back will be up with him if he doesn't mind himself.' + +It was nearly six o'clock when they got back to the house, and Clara +was surprised to find that she had been out three hours with her +cousin. Certainly it had been very pleasant. The usual companion of her +walks, when she had a companion, was Mrs Askerton; but Mrs Askerton did +not like real walking. She would creep about the grounds for an hour or +so, and even such companionship as that was better to Clara than +absolute solitude; but now she had been carried about the place, +getting over stiles and through gates, and wandering through the +copses, till she was tired and hungry, and excited and happy. 'Oh, +papa,' she said, 'we have had such a walk!' + +'I thought we were to have dined at five,' he replied, in a low wailing +voice. + +'No, papa, indeed indeed you said six.' + +'That was for yesterday.' + +'You said we were to make it six while Mr Belton was here.' + +'Very well if it must be, I suppose it must be.' + +'You don't mean on my account,' said Will. 'I'll undertake to eat my +dinner, sir, at any hour that you'll undertake to give it me. If +there's a strong point about me at all, it is my appetite.' + +Clara, when she went to her father's room that evening, told him what +Mr Belton had said about the shooting, knowing that her father's +feelings would agree with those which had been expressed by her cousin. +Mr Amedroz of course made this an occasion for further grumbling, +suggesting that Belton wanted to get the shooting for himself as he had +got the farm. But, nevertheless, the effect which Clara had intended +was produced, and before she left him he had absolutely proposed that +the shooting and the land should go together. + +'I'm sure that Mr Belton doesn't mean that at all,' said Clara. + +'I don't care what he means,' said the squire. + +'And it wouldn't do to treat Colonel Askerton in that way,' said Clara. + +'I shall treat him just as I like,' said the squire. + + +CHAPTER IV + +SAFE AGAINST LOVE-MAKING + +A DEAR cousin, and safe against love-making! This was Clara's verdict +respecting Will Belton, as she lay thinking of him in bed that night. +Why that warranty against love-making should be a virtue in her eyes I +cannot, perhaps, explain. But all young ladies are apt to talk to +themselves in such phrases about gentlemen with whom they are thrown +into chance intimacy as though love-making were in itself a thing +injurious and antagonistic to happiness, instead of being, as it is, +the very salt of life. Safe against love-making! And yet Mrs Askerton, +her friend, had spoken of the probability of such love-making as being +the great advantage of his coming. And there could not be a second +opinion as to the expediency of a match between her and her cousin in a +worldly point of view. Clara, moreover, had already perceived that he +was a man fit to guide a wife, very good- humoured and good-tempered +also, anxious to give pleasure to others, a man of energy and +forethought, who would be sure to do well in the world and hold his +head always high among his fellows as good a husband as a girl could +have. Nevertheless, she congratulated herself in that she felt +satisfied that he was safe against love-making! Might it be possible +that the pressing of hands at Taunton had been so tender, and those +last words spoken with Captain Aylmer so soft, that on his account she +felt delighted to think that her cousin was warranted not to make love? + +And what did Will Belton think about his cousin, insured as he was thus +supposed to be against the dangers of love? He, also, lay awake for +awhile that night, thinking over his new friendship. Or rather he +thought of it walking about his room, and looking out at the bright +harvest moon for with him to be in bed was to be asleep. He sat himself +down, and he walked about, and he leaned out of the window into the +cool night air; and he made some comparisons in his mind, and certain +calculations; and he thought of his present home, and of his sister, +and of his future prospects as they were concerned with the old place +at which he was now staying; and he portrayed to himself, in his mind, +Clara's head and face and figure and feet and he resolved that she +should be his wife. He had never seen a girl who seemed to suit him so +well. Though he had only been with her for a day, he swore to himself +that he knew he could love her. Nay he swore to himself that he did +love her. Then when he had quite made up his mind, he tumbled into his +bed and was asleep in five minutes. + +Miss Amedroz was a handsome young woman, tall, well-made, active, and +full of health. She carried herself as though she thought her limbs +were made for use, and not simply for ease upon a sofa. Her head and +neck stood well upon her shoulders, and her waist showed none of those +waspish proportions of which ladies used to be more proud than I +believe them to be now, in their more advanced state of knowledge and +taste. There was much about her in which she was like her cousin, as +though the blood they had in common between them had given to both the +same proportions and the same comeliness. Her hair was of a dark brown +colour, as was his. Her eyes were somewhat darker than his, and perhaps +not so full of constant movement; but they were equally bright, and +possessed that quick power of expressing tenderness which belonged to +them. Her nose was more finely cut, as was also her chin, and the oval +of her face; but she had the same large expressive mouth, and the same +perfection of ivory-white teeth. As has been said before, Clara +Amedroz, who was now nearly twenty-six years of age, was not a +young-looking woman. To the eyes of many men that would have been her +fault; but in the eyes of Belton it was no fault. He had not made +himself fastidious as to women by much consort with them, and he was +disposed to think that she who was to become his wife had better be +something more than a girl not long since taken out of the nursery. He +was well-to-do in the world, and could send his wife out in her +carriage, with all becoming bravery of appurtenances. And he would do +so, too, when he should have a wife. But still he would look to his +wife to be a useful partner to him. She should be a woman not above +agricultural solicitude, or too proud to have a care for her cows. +Clara, he was sure, had no false pride; and yet as he was sure also she +was at every point such a lady as would do honour to the carriage and +the bravery when it should be forthcoming. And then such a marriage as +this would put an end to all the trouble which he felt in reference to +the entail on the estate. He knew that he was to be master of Belton, +and of course had, in that knowledge, the satisfaction which men do +feel from the consciousness of their future prosperity. And this with +him was enhanced by a strong sympathy with old-fashioned prejudices as +to family. He would be Belton of Belton; and there had been Beltons of +Belton in old days, for a longer time backwards than he was able to +count. But still the prospect had not been without its alloy, and he +had felt real distress at the idea of turning his cousin out of her +father's house. Such a marriage as that he now contemplated would put +all these things right. + +When he got up in the morning he was quite as keen about it as he had +been on the previous evening and as he thought about it the more, he +became keener and still more keen. On the previous evening, as he was +leaning out of the window endeavouring to settle in his own mind what +would be the proper conduct of the romance of the thing, he had +considered that he had better not make his proposal quite at once. He +was to remain eight days at Belton, and as eight days was not a long +period of acquaintance, he had reflected that it might be well for him +to lay what foundation for love it might be in his power to construct +during his present sojourn, and then return and complete the work +before Christmas. But as he was shaving himself, the habitual +impatience of his nature predominated, and he became disposed to think +that delay would be useless, and might perhaps be dangerous. It might +be possible that Clara would be unable to give him a decisive answer so +quickly as to enable him to return home an accepted lover; but if such +doubt were left, such doubt would give him an excuse for a speedy +return to Belton. He did not omit to tell himself that very probably he +might not succeed at all. He was a man not at all apt to feel assurance +that he could carry all before him in love. But in this matter, as in +all others which required from him any personal effort, he prepared +himself to do his best, leaving the consequences to follow as they +might. When he threw his seed corn into the earth with all such due +appliances of agricultural skill and industry as his capital and +experience enabled him to use, he did his part towards the production +of next year's crop; and after that he must leave it to a higher Power +to give to him, or to withhold from him, the reward of his labour. He +had found that, as a rule, the reward had been given when the labour +had been honest; and he was now prepared to follow the same plan, with +the same hopes, in this matter of his love-making. + +After much consideration very much consideration, a consideration which +took him the whole time that he was brushing his hair and washing his +teeth he resolved that he would, in the first instance, speak to Mr +Amedroz. Not that he intended that the father should win the daughter +for him. He had an idea that he would like to do that work for himself. +But he thought that the old squire would be better pleased if his +consent were asked in the first instance. The present day was Sunday, +and he would not speak on the subject till Monday. This day he would +devote to the work of securing his future father-in-law's good opinion; +to that and to his prayers. + +And he had gained very much upon Mr Amedroz before the evening of the +day was over. He was a man before whom difficulties seemed to yield, +and who had his own way simply because he had become accustomed to ask +for it to ask for it and to work for it. He had so softened the +squire's tone of thought towards him, that the future stocking of the +land was spoken of between them with something like energy on both +sides; and Mr Amedroz had given his consent, without any difficulty, to +the building of a shed for winter stall-feeding. Clara sat by +listening, and perceived that Will Belton would soon be allowed to do +just what he pleased with the place. Her father talked as she had not +heard him talk since her poor brother's death, and was quite animated +on the subject of woodcraft. 'We don't know much about timber down +where I am,' said Will, 'just because we've got no trees.' + +'I'll show you your way,' said the old man. 'I've managed the timber on +the estate myself for the last forty years.' Will Belton of course did +not say a word as to the gross mismanagement which had been apparent +even to him. What a cousin he was! Clara thought what a paragon among +cousins! And then he was so manifestly safe against love-making! So +safe, that he only cared to talk about timber, and oxen, and fences, +and winter-forage! But it was all just as it ought to be; and if her +father did not call him Will before long, she herself would set the way +by doing so first. A very paragon among cousins! + +'What a flatterer you are,' she said to him that night. + +'A flatterer! I?' + + + +'Yes, you. You have flattered papa out of all his animosity already. I +shall be jealous soon; for he'll think more of you than of me.' + +'I hope he'll come to think of us as being nearly equally near to him,' +said Belton, with a tone that was half serious and half tender. Now +that he had made up his mind, he could not keep his hand from the work +before him an instant. But Clara had also made up her mind, and would +not be made to think that her cousin could mean anything that was more +than cousinly. + +'Upon my word,' she said, laughing, 'that is very cool on your part.' + +'I came here determined to be friends with him at any rate.' + +'And you did so without any thought of me. But you said you would be my +brother, and I shall not forget your promise. Indeed, indeed, I cannot +tell you how glad I am that you have come both for papa's sake and my +own. You have done him so much good that I only dread to think that you +are going so soon.' + +'I'll be back before long. I think nothing of running across here from +Norfolk. You'll see enough of me before next summer.' + +Soon after breakfast on the next morning he got Mr Amedroz out into the +grounds, on the plea of showing him the proposed site for the cattle +shed; but not a word was said about the shed on that occasion. He went +to work at his other task at once, and when that was well on hand the +squire was quite unfitted for the consideration of any less important +matter, however able to discuss it Belton might have been himself. + +'I've got something particular that I want to say to you, sir,' Belton +began. + +Now Mr Amedroz was of opinion that his cousin had been saying something +very particular ever since his arrival, and was rather frightened at +this immediate prospect of a new subject. + +'There's nothing wrong; is there?' + +'No, nothing wrong at least, I hope it's not wrong. Would not it be a +good plan, sir, if I were to marry my cousin Clara?' + +What a terrible young man! Mr Amedroz felt that his breath was so +completely taken away from him that he was quite unable to speak a word +of answer at the moment. Indeed, he was unable to move, and stood +still, where he had been fixed by the cruel suddenness of the +proposition made to him. + +'Of course I know nothing of what she may think about it,' continued +Belton. 'I thought it best to come to you before I spoke a word to her. +And I know that in many ways she is above me. She is better educated, +and reads more, and all that sort of thing. And it may be that she'd +rather marry a London man than a fellow who passes all his time in the +country. But she couldn't get one who would love her better or treat +her more kindly. And then as to the property; you must own it would be +a good arrangement. You'd like to know it would go to your own child +and your own grandchild wouldn't you, sir? And I'm not badly off, +without looking to this place at all, and could give her every thing +she wants. But then I don't know that she'd care to marry a farmer.' +These last words he said in a melancholy tone, as though aware that he +was confessing his own disgrace. + +The squire had listened to it all, and had not as yet said a word. And +now, when Belton ceased, he did not know what word to speak. He was a +man whose thoughts about women were chivalrous, and perhaps a little +old-fashioned. Of course, when a man contemplates marriage, he could do +nothing better, nothing more honourable, than consult the lady's father +in the first instance. But he felt that even a father should be +addressed on such a subject with great delicacy. There should be +ambages in such a matter. The man who resolved to commit himself to +such a task should come forward with apparent difficulty with great +diffidence, and even with actual difficulty. He should keep himself +almost hidden, as behind a mask, and should tell of his own ambition +with doubtful, quivering voice. And the ambages should take time. He +should approach the citadel to be taken with covered ways working his +way slowly and painfully. But this young man, before he had been in the +house three days, said all that he had to say without the slightest +quaver in his voice, and evidently expected to get an answer about the +squire's daughter as quickly as he had got it about the squire's land. + +'You have surprised me very much,' said the old man at last, drawing +his breath. + +'I'm quite in earnest about it. Clara seems to me to be the very girl +to make a good wife to such a one as I am. She's got everything that a +woman ought to have By George, she has!' + +'She is a good girl, Mr Belton.' + +'She is as good as gold, every inch of her.' + +'But you have not known her very long, Mr Belton.' + +'Quite long enough for my purposes. You see I knew all about her +beforehand who she is, and where she comes from. There's a great deal +in that, you know.' + +Mr Amedroz shuddered at the expressions used. It was grievous to him to +hear his daughter spoken of as one respecting whom some one knew who +she was and whence she came. Such knowledge respecting the daughter of +such a family was, as a matter of course, common to all polite persons. +'Yes,' said Mr Amedroz, stiffly: 'you know as much as that about her, +certainly.' + +'And she knows as much about me. Now the question is, whether you have +any objection to make?' + +'Really, Mr Belton, you have taken me so much by surprise that I do not +feel myself competent to answer you at once.' + +'Shall we say in an hour's time, sir?' An hour's time! Mr Amedroz, if +he could have been left to his own guidance, would have thought a month +very little for such a work. + +'I suppose you would wish me to see Clara first,' said Mr Amedroz. + +'Oh dear, no. I would much rather ask her myself if only I could get +your consent to my doing so.' + +'And you have said nothing to her?' + +'Not a word.' + +'I am glad of that. You would have behaved badly, I think, had you done +so while staying under my roof.' + +'I thought it best, at any rate, to come to you first. But as I must be +back at Plaistow on this day week, I haven't much time to lose. So if +you could think about it this afternoon, you know Mr Amedroz, much +bewildered, promised that he would do his best, and eventually did +bring himself to give an answer on the next morning. 'I have been +thinking about this all night,' said Mr Amedroz. + +'I'm sure I'm very much obliged to you,' said Belton, feeling rather +ashamed of his own remissness as he remembered how soundly he had +himself slept. + +'If you are quite sure of yourself' + +'Do you mean sure of loving her? I am as sure of that as anything.' + +'But men are so apt to change their fancies.' + +'I don't know much about my fancies; but I don't often change my +purpose when I'm in earnest. In such a matter as this I couldn't +change. I'll say as much as that for myself, though it may seem bold.' + +'Of course, in regard to money such a marriage would be advantageous to +my child. I don't know whether you know it, but I shall have nothing to +give her literally nothing.' + +'All the better, sir, as far as I am concerned. I'm not one who wants +to be saved from working by a wife's fortune.' + +'But most men like to get something when they marry.' + +'I want to get nothing nothing, that is, in the way of money. If Clara +becomes my wife I'll never ask you for one shilling.' + +'I hope her aunt will do something for her.' This the old man said in a +wailing voice, as though the expression of such a hope was grievous to +him. + +'If she becomes my wife, Mrs Winterfield will be quite at liberty to +leave her money elsewhere.' There were old causes of dislike between Mr +Belton and Mrs Winterfield, and even now Mrs Winterfield was almost +offended because Mr Belton was staying at Belton Castle. + +'But all that is quite uncertain,' continued Mr Amedroz. + +'And I have your leave to speak to Clara myself?' + +'Well, Mr Belton; yes; I think so. I do not see why you should not +speak to her. But I fear you are a little too precipitate. Clara has +known you so very short a time, that you can hardly have a right to +hope that she should learn to regard you at once as you would have her +do.' As he heard this, Belton's face became long and melancholy. He had +taught himself to think that he could dispense with that delay till +Christmas which he had at first proposed to himself, and that he might +walk into the arena at once, and perhaps win the battle in the first +round. 'Three days is such a very short time,' said the squire. + +'It is short certainly,' said Belton. + +The father's leave was however given, and armed with that, Belton was +resolved that he would take, at any rate, some preliminary steps in +love-making before he returned to Plaistow. What would be the nature of +the preliminary steps taken by such a one as him, the reader by this +time will probably be able to surmise. + + +CHAPTER V + +NOT SAFE AGAINST LOVE-MAKING + +'Why don't you call him Will?' Clara said to her father. This question +was asked on the evening of that Monday on which Mr Amedroz had given +his consent as to the marriage proposal. + +'Call him Will! Why should I?' + +'You used to do so, when he was a boy.' + +'Of course I did; but that is years ago. He would think it impertinent +now.' + +'Indeed he would not; he would like it. He has told me so. It sounds so +cold to him to be called Mr Belton by his relations.' + +The father looked at his daughter as though for a moment he also +suspected that matters had really been arranged between her and her +future lover without his concurrence, and before his sanction had been +obtained. But if for a moment such a thought did cress his mind, it did +not dwell there. He trusted Belton; but as to his daughter, he knew +that he might be sure of her. It would be impossible with her to keep +such a secret from him, even for half a day. And yet, how odd it was! +Here was a man who in three days had fallen in love with his daughter; +and here was his daughter apparently quite as ready to be in love with +the man. How could she, who was ordinarily circumspect, and almost cold +in her demeanour towards strangers who was from circumstances and from +her own disposition altogether hostile to flirting intimacies how could +this Clara have changed her nature so speedily? The squire did not +understand it, but was prepared to believe that it was all for the +best. 'I'll call him Will, if you like it,' said he. + +'Do, papa, and then I can do so also. He is such a good fellow, and I +am so fond of him.' + +On the next morning Mr Amedroz did, with much awkwardness, call his +guest by his Christian name. Clara caught her cousin's eye and smiled, +and he also smiled. At that moment he was more in love than ever. Could +anything be more charming than this? Immediately after breakfast he was +going over to Redicote, to see a builder in a small way who lived +there, and whom he proposed to employ in putting up the shed for the +cattle; but he almost begrudged the time, so anxious was he to begin +his suit. But his plan had been laid out and he would follow it. 'I +think I shall be back by three o'clock,' he said to Clara, 'and then +we'll have our walk.' + +'I'll be ready; and you can call for me at Mr Askerton's. I must go +down there, and it will save you something in your walk to pick me up +at the cottage.' And so the arrangements for the day were made. + +Clara had promised that she would soon call at the cottage, and was, +indeed, rather anxious to see Mrs Askerton on her own account. What she +had heard from her cousin as to a certain Miss Vigo of old days had +interested her, and also what she had heard of a certain Mr Berdmore. +It had been evident to her that her cousin had thought little about it. +The likeness of the lady he then saw to the lady he had before known. +had at first struck him; but when he found that the two ladies were not +represented by one and the same person, he was satisfied, and there was +an end of the matter for him. But it was not so with Clara. Her +feminine mind dwelt on the matter with more earnestness than he had +cared to entertain, and her clearer intellect saw possibilities which +did not occur to him. But it was not till she found herself walking +across the park to the cottage that she remembered that any inquiries +as to her past life might be disagreeable to Mrs Askerton. She had +thought of asking her friend plainly whether the names of Vigo and +Berdmore had ever been familiar to her; but she reminded herself that +there had been rumours afloat, and that there might be a mystery. Mrs +Askerton would sometimes talk of her early life; but she would do this +with dreamy, indistinct language, speaking of the sorrows of her +girlhood, but not specifying their exact nature, seldom mentioning any +names, and never referring with clear personality to those who had been +nearest to her when she had been a child. Clara had seen her friend's +maiden name, Mary Oliphant, written in a book, and seeing it had +alluded to it. On that occasion Mrs Askerton had spoken of herself as +having been an Oliphant, and thus Clara had come to know the fact. But +now, as she made her way to the cottage, she remembered that she had +learned nothing more than this as to Mrs Askerton's early life. Such +being the case, she hardly knew how to ask any question about the two +names that had been mentioned. And yet, why should she not ask such a +question? Why should she doubt Mrs Askerton? And if she did doubt, why +should not her doubts be solved? + +She found Colonel Askerton and his wife together, and she certainly +would ask no such question in his presence. He was a slight built, wiry +man, about fifty, with iron-grey hair and beard who seemed to have no +trouble in life, and to desire but few pleasures. Nothing could be more +regular than the course of his days, and nothing more idle. He +breakfasted at eleven, smoked and read till the afternoon, when he rode +for an hour or two; then he dined, read again, smoked again, and went +to bed. In September and October he shot, and twice in the year, as has +been before stated, went away to seek a little excitement elsewhere. He +seemed to be quite contented with his lot, and was never heard to speak +an angry word with any one. Nobody cared for him much; but then he +troubled himself with no one's affairs. He never went to church, and +had not eaten or drank in any house but his own since he had come to +Belton. + +'Oh, Clara, you naughty girl,' said Mrs Askerton, 'why didn't you come +yesterday? I was expecting you all day.' + +'I was busy. Really, we've grown to be quite industrious people since +my cousin came.' + +'They tell me he's taking the land into his own hands,' said the +colonel. + +'Yes, indeed; and he is going to build sheds, and buy cattle; and I +don't know what he doesn't mean to do; so that we shall be alive again.' + +'I hope he won't want my shooting.' + +'He has shooting of his own in Norfolk,' said Clara. + +'Then he'll hardly care to come here for that purpose. When I heard of +his proceedings I began to be afraid.' + +'I don't think he would do anything to annoy you for the world,' said +Clara, enthusiastically. 'He's the most unselfish person I ever met.' + +'He'd have a perfect right to take the shooting if he liked it that is +always supposing that he and your father agreed about it.' + +'They agree about everything now. He has altogether disarmed papa's +prejudices, and it seems to be recognized that he is to have his own +way about the place. But I don't think he'll interfere about the +shooting.' + +'He won't, my dear, if you ask him not,' said Mrs Askerton. + +'I'll ask him in a moment if Colonel Askerton wishes it.' + +'Oh dear no,' said he. 'It would be teaching the ostler to grease the +horse's teeth. Perhaps he hasn't thought of it.' + +'He thinks of everything,' said Clara. + +'I wonder whether he's thinking of .' So far Mrs Askerton spoke, and +then she paused. Colonel Askerton looked up at Clara with an +ill-natured smile, and Clara felt that she blushed. Was it not cruel +that she could not say a word in favour of a friend and a cousin a +cousin who had promised to be a brother to her, without being treated +with such words and such looks as these? But she was determined not to +be put down. 'I'm quite sure of this,' she said, 'that my cousin would +do nothing unfair or ungentlemanlike.' + +'There would be nothing unfair or ungentlemanlike in it. I shouldn't +take it amiss at all but I should simply take up my bed and walk. Pray +tell him that I hope I shall have the pleasure of seeing him before he +goes. I did call yesterday, but he was out.' + +'He'll be here soon. He's to come here for me.' But Colonel Askerton's +horse was brought to the door, and he could not therefore wait to make +Mr Belton's acquaintance on that occasion. + +'What a phoenix this cousin of yours is,' said Mrs Askerton, as soon as +her husband was gone. + +'He is a splendid fellow he is indeed. There's so much life about him! +He's always doing something. He says that doing good will always pay in +the long run. Isn't that a fine doctrine?' + +'Quite a practical phoenix!' + +'It has done papa so much good! At this moment he's out somewhere, +thinking of what is going on, instead of moping in the house. He +couldn't bear the idea of Will's coming, and now he is already +beginning to complain because he's going away.' + +'Will, indeed!' + +'And why not Will? He's my cousin.' + +'Yes ten times removed. But so much the better if he's to be anything +more than a cousin.' + +'He is to be nothing more, Mrs Askerton.' + +'You're quite sure of that? + +'I am quite sure of it. And I cannot understand why there should be +such a suspicion because he and I are thrown closely together, and are +fond of each other. Whether he is a sixth, eighth, or tenth cousin +makes no difference. He is the nearest I have on that side; and since +my poor brother's death he is papa's heir. It is so natural that he +should be my friend and such a comfort that he should be such a friend +as he is! I own it seems cruel to me that under such circumstances +there should be any suspicion.' + +'Suspicion, my dear suspicion of what?' + +'Not that I care I or it. I am prepared to love him as if he were my +brother. I think him one of the finest creatures I ever knew perhaps +the finest I ever did know. His energy and good-nature together are +just the qualities to make the best kind of man. I am proud of him as +my friend and my cousin, and now you may suspect what you please.' + +'But, my dear, why should not he fall in love with you? It would be the +most proper, and also the most convenient thing in the world.' + +'I hate talking of falling in love as though a woman had nothing else +to think of whenever she sees a man.' + +'A woman has nothing else to think of.' + +'I have a great deal else. And so has he.' + +'It's quite out of the question on his part, then?' + +'Quite out of the question. I'm sure he likes me; I can see it in his +face, and hear it in his voice, and am so happy that it is so. But it +isn't in the way that you mean. Heaven knows that I may want a friend +some of these days, and I feel that I may trust to him. His feelings to +me will be always those of a brother.' + +'Perhaps so. I have seen that fraternal love before under similar +circumstances, and it has always ended in the same way.' + +'I hope it won't end in any way between us.' + +'But the joke is that this suspicion, as you call it which makes you so +indignant is simply a suggestion that a thing should happen which, of +all things in the world, would be the best for both of you.' + +'But the thing won't happen, and therefore let there be an end of it. I +hate the twaddle talk of love, whether it's about myself or about any +one else. It makes me feel ashamed of my sex, when I find that I cannot +talk of myself to another woman without being supposed to be either in +love or thinking of love cither looking for it or avoiding it. When it +comes, if it cornea prosperously, it's a very good thing. But I for one +can do without it, and I feel myself injured when such a state of +things is presumed to be impossible.' + +'It is worth any one's while to irritate you, because your indignation +is so beautiful.' + +'It is not beautiful to me; for I always feel ashamed afterwards of my +own energy. And now, if you please, we won't say anything more about Mr +Will Belton.' + +'May I not talk about him, even as the enterprising cousin? + +'Certainly; and in any other light you please. Do you know he seemed to +think that he had known you ever so many years ago.' Clara, as she said +this, did not look direct at her friend's face; but still she could +perceive that Mrs Askerton was disconcerted. There came a shade of +paleness over her face, and a look of trouble on her brow, and for a +moment or two she made no reply. + +'Did he?' she then said. 'And when was that?' + +'I suppose it was in London. But, after all, I believe it was not you, +but somebody whom he remembers to have been like you. He says that the +lady was a Miss Vigo.' As she pronounced the name, Clara turned her +face away, feeling instinctively that it would be kind to do so. + +'Miss Vigo!' said Mrs Askerton at once; and there was that in the tone +of her voice which made Clara feel that all was not right with her. 'I +remember that there were Miss Vigos; two of them, I think. I didn't +know that they were like me especially.' + +'And he says that the one he remembers married a Mr Berdmore.' + +'Married a Mr Berdmore!' The tone of voice was still the same, and +there was an evident struggle, as though the woman was making a +vehement effort to speak in her natural voice. Then Clara looked at +her, feeling that if she abstained from doing so, the very fact of her +so abstaining would be remarkable. There was the look of pain on Mrs +Askerton's brow, and her cheeks were still pale, but she smiled as she +went on speaking. 'I'm sure I'm flattered, for I remember that they +were both considered beauties. Did he know anything more of her? + +'No; nothing more.' + +'There must have been some casual likeness I suppose.' Mrs Askerton was +a clever woman, and had by this time almost recovered her +self-possession. Then there came a ring at the front door, and in +another minute Mr Belton was in the room. Mrs Askerton felt that it was +imperative on her to make some allusion to the conversation which had +just taken place, and dashed at the subject at once. 'Clara tells me +that I am exactly like some old friend of yours, Mr Belton.' + +Then he looked at her closely as he answered her. 'I have no right to +say that she was my friend, Mrs Askerton,' he said; 'indeed there was +hardly what might be called an acquaintance between us; but you +certainly are extremely like a certain Miss Vigo that I remember.' + +'I often wonder that one person isn't more often found to be like +another,' said Mrs Askerton. + +'People often are like,' said he, 'but not like in such a way as to +give rise to mistakes as to identity. Now, I should have stopped you in +the street and called you Mrs Berdmore.' + +'Didn't I once see or hear the name of Berdmore in this house?' asked +Clara. + +Then that look of pain returned. Mrs Askerton had succeeded in +recovering the usual tone of her countenance, but now she was once more +disturbed. 'I think I know the name,' said she. + +'I fancy that I have seen it in this house,' said Clara. 'You may more +likely have heard it, my dear. My memory is very poor, but if I +remember rightly, Colonel Askerton did know a Captain Berdmore a long +while ago, before he was married; and you may probably have heard him +mention the name.' This did not quite satisfy Clara, but she said +nothing more about it then. If there was a mystery which Mrs Askerton +did not wish to have explored, why should she explore it? + +Soon after this Clara got up to go, and Mrs Askerton, making another +attempt to be cheerful, was almost successful. So you're going back +into Norfolk on Saturday, Clara tells me. You are making a very short +visit now that you're come among us.' + +'It is a long time for me to be away from home. Farmers can hardly ever +dare to leave their work. But in spite of my farm, I am talking of +coming here again about Christmas.' + +'But you are going to have a farming establishment here too?' + +'That will be nothing. Clara will look after that for me; will you +not?' Then they went, and Belton had to consider how he would begin the +work before him. He had some idea that too much precipitancy might do +him an injury, but he hardly knew how to commence without coming to the +point at once. When they were out together in the park, he went back at +first to the subject of Mrs Askerton. + +'I would almost have sworn they were one and the same woman,' he said. + +'But you see that they are not.' + +'It's not only the likeness, but the voice. It so chanced that I once +saw that Miss Vigo in some trouble. I happened to meet her in company +with a man who was who was tipsy, in fact, and I had to relieve her.' + +'Dear me how disagreeable!' + +'It's a long time ago, and there can't be any harm in mentioning it +now. It was the man she was going to marry, and whom she did marry.' + +'What the Mr Berdmore?' + +'Yes; he was often in that way. And there was a look about Mrs Askerton +just now so like the look of that Miss Vigo then, that I cannot get rid +of the idea.' + +'They can't be the same, as she was certainly a Miss Oliphant. And you +hear, too, what she says.' + +'Yes I heard what she said. You have known her long?' + +'These two years.' + +'And intimately? + +'Very intimately. She is our only neighbour; and her being here has +certainly been a great comfort to me. It is sad not having some woman +near one that one can speak to and then, I really do like her very +much.' + +'No doubt it's all right.' + +'Yes; it's all right,' said Clara. After that there was nothing more +said about Mrs Askerton, and Belton began his work. They had gone from +the cottage, across the park, away from the house, up to a high rock +which stood boldly out of the ground, from whence could be seen the sea +on one side, and on the other a far track of country almost away to the +moors. And when they reached this spot they seated themselves. 'There,' +said Clara, 'I consider this to be the prettiest spot in England.' + +'I haven't seen all England,' said Belton. + +'Don't be so matter-of-fact, Will. I say it's the prettiest in England, +and you can't contradict me.' + +'And I say you're the prettiest girl in England, and you can't +contradict me.' + +This annoyed Clara, and almost made her feel that her paragon of a +cousin was not quite so perfect as she had represented him to be. 'I +see', she said, 'that if I talk nonsense I'm to be punished.' + +'Is it a punishment to you to know that I think you very handsome?' he +said, turning round and looking full into her face. + +'It is disagreeable to me very, to have any such subject talked about +at all. What would you think if I began to pay you foolish personal +compliments?' + +'What I say isn't foolish; and there's a great difference. Clara, I +love you better than all the world put together.' + +She now looked at him; but still she did not believe it. It could not +be that after all her boastings she should have made so gross a +blunder. 'I hope you do love me,' she said; 'indeed, you are bound to +do so, for you promised that you would be my brother.' + +'But that will not satisfy me now, Clara. Clara, I want to be your +husband.' + +'Will!' she exclaimed. + +'Now you know it all; and if I have been too sudden, I must beg your +pardon.' + +'Oh, Will, forget that you have said this. Do not go on until +everything must be over between us.' + +'Why should anything be over between us? Why should it be wrong in me +to love you?' + +'What will papa say?' + +'Mr Amedroz knows all about it already, and has given me his consent. I +asked him directly I had made up my own mind, and he told me that I +might go to you.' + +'You have asked papa? Oh dear, oh dear, what am I to do?' + +'Am I so odious to you then?' As he said this he got up from his seat +and stood before her. He was a tall, well-built, handsome man, and he +could assume a look and mien that were almost noble when he was moved +as he was moved now. + +'Odious! Do you not know that I have loved you as my cousin that I have +already learned to trust you as though you were really my brother? But +this breaks it all.' + +'You cannot love me then as my wife?' + +'No.' She pronounced the monosyllable alone, and then he walked away +from her as though that one little word settled the question for him, +now and for ever. He walked away from her, perhaps a distance of two +hundred yards, as though the interview was over, and he were leaving +her. She, as she saw him go, wished that he would return that she might +say some word of comfort to him. Not that she could have said the only +word that would have comforted him. At the first blush of the thing, at +the first sound of the address which he had made to her, she had been +angry with him. He had disappointed her, and she was indignant. But her +anger had already melted and turned itself to ruth. She could not but +love him better, in that he had loved her so well; but yet she could +not love him with the love which he desired. + +But he did not leave her. When he had gone from her down the hill the +distance that has been named, he turned back and came up to her slowly. +He had a trick of standing and walking with his thumbs fixed into the +armholes of his waistcoat, while his large hands rested on his breast. +He would always assume this attitude when he was assured that he was +right in his views, and was eager to carry some point at issue. Clara +already understood that this attitude signified his intention to be +autocratic. He now came close up to her and again stood over her, +before he spoke. 'My dear,' he said, 'I have been rough and hasty in +what I have said to you, and I have to ask you to pardon my want of +manners.' + +'No, no, no,' she exclaimed. + +'But in a matter of so much interest to us both you will not let an +awkward manner prejudice me.' + +'It is not that; indeed, it is not.' + +'Listen to me, dearest. It is true that I promised to be your brother, +and I will not break my word unless I break it by your own sanction. I +did promise to be your brother, but I did not know then how fondly I +should come to love you. Your father, when I told him of this, bade me +not to be hasty; but I am hasty, and I haven't known how to wait. Tell +me that I may come at Christmas for my answer, and I will not say a +word to trouble you till then. I will be your brother, at any rate till +Christmas.' + +'Be my brother always.' + +A black cloud crossed his brow as this request reached his ears. She +was looking anxiously into his face, watching every turn in the +expression of his countenance. 'Will you not let it wait till +Christmas?' he asked. + +She thought it would be cruel to refuse this request, and yet she knew +that no such waiting could be of service to him. He had been awkward in +his love-making, and was aware of it. He should have contrived this +period of waiting for himself; giving her no option but to wait and +think of it. He should have made no proposal, but have left her certain +that such proposal was coming. In such case she must have waited and if +good could have come to him from that, he might have received it. But, +as the question was now presented to her, it was impossible that she +should consent to wait. To have given such consent would have been +tantamount to receiving him as her lover. She was therefore forced to +be cruel. + +'It will be of no avail to postpone my answer when I know what it must +be. Why should there be suspense?' + + +'You mean that it is impossible that you should love me?' + +'Not in that way, Will.' + +'And why not?' Then there was a pause. 'But I am a fool to ask such a +question as that, and I should be worse than a fool were I to press it. +It must then be considered as settled?' + +She got up and clung to his arm. 'Oh, Will, do not look at me like that! + +'It must then be considered as settled?' he repeated. + +'Yes, Will, yes. Pray consider it as settled.' He then sat down on the +rock again, and she came and sat by him near to him, but not close as +she had been before. She turned her eyes upon him, gazing on him, but +did not speak to him; and he sat also without speaking for a while, +with his eyes fixed upon the ground. 'I suppose we may go back to the +house?' he said at last. + +'Give me your hand, Will, and tell me that you will still love me as +your sister.' + +He gave her his hand. 'If you ever want a brother's care you shall have +it from me,' he said. + +'But not a brother's love?' + +'No. How can the two go together? I shan't cease to love you because my +love is in vain. Instead of making me happy it will make me wretched. +That will be the only difference.' + +'I would give my life to make you happy, if that were possible.' + +'You will not give me your life in the way that I would have it.' + +After that they walked in silence back to the house, and when he had +opened the front door for her, he parted from her and stood alone under +the porch, thinking of his misfortune. + + +CHAPTER VI + +SAFE AGAINST LOVE-MAKING ONCE AGAIN + +For a considerable time Belton stood under the porch of the house, +thinking of what had happened to him, and endeavouring to steady +himself under the blow which he had received. I do not know that he had +been sanguine of success. Probably he had made to himself no assurances +on the subject. But he was a man to whom failure, of itself, was +intolerable. In any other event of life he would have told himself that +he would not fail that he would persevere and conquer. He could imagine +no other position as to which he could at once have been assured of +failure, in any project on which he had set his heart. But as to this +project it was so. He had been told that she could not love him that +she could never love him and he had believed her. He had made his +attempt and had failed; and, as he thought of this, standing under the +porch, he became convinced that life for him was altogether changed, +and that he who had been so happy must now be a wretched man. + +He was still standing there when Mr Amedroz came down into the hall, +dressed for dinner, and saw his figure through the open doors. 'Will,' +he said, coming up to him, 'it only wants five minutes to dinner.' +Belton started and shook himself, as though he were shaking off a +lethargy, and declared that he was quite ready. Then he remembered that +he would be expected to dress, and rushed upstairs, three steps at a +time, to his own room. When he came down, Clara and her father were +already in the dining-room, and he joined them there. + +Mr Amedroz, though he was not very quick in reading facts from the +manners of those with whom he lived, had felt assured that things had +gone wrong between Belton and his daughter. He had not as yet had a +minute in which to speak to Clara, but he was certain that it was so. +Indeed, it was impossible not to read terrible disappointment and deep +grief in the young man's manner. He made no attempt to conceal it, +though he did not speak of it. Through the whole evening, though he was +alone for a while with the squire, and alone also for a time with +Clara, he never mentioned or alluded to the subject of his rejection. +But he bore himself as though he knew and they knew as though all the +world knew that he had been rejected. And yet he did not remain silent. +He talked of his property and of his plans, and explained how things +were to be done in his absence. Once only was there something like an +allusion made to his sorrow. 'But you will be here at Christmas?' said +Mr Amedroz, in answer to something which Belton had said as to work to +be done in his absence. 'I do not know how that may be now,' said +Belton. And then they had all been silent. + +It was a terrible evening to Clara. She endeavoured to talk, but found +it to be impossible. All the brightness of the last few days had +disappeared, and the world seemed to her to be more sad and solemn than +ever. She had no idea when she was refusing him that he would have +taken it to heart as he had done. The question had come before her for +decision so suddenly, that she had not, in fact, had time to think of +this as she was making her answer. All she had done was to feel that +she could not be to him what he wished her to be. And even as yet she +had hardly asked herself why she must be so steadfast in her refusal. +But she had refused him steadfastly, and she did not for a moment think +of reducing the earnestness of her resolution. It seemed to be manifest +to her, from his present manner, that he would never ask the question +again; but she was sure, let it be asked ever so often, that it could +not be answered in any other way. + +Mr Amedroz, not knowing why it was so, became cross and querulous, and +scolded his daughter. To Belton, also, he was captious, making little +difficulties, and answering him with petulance. This the rejected lover +took with most extreme patience, as though such a trifling annoyance +had no effect in adding anything to his misery. He still held his +purpose of going on the Saturday, and was still intent on work which +was to be done before he went; but it seemed that he was satisfied to +do everything now as a duty, and that the enjoyment of the thing, which +had heretofore been so conspicuous, was over. + +At last they separated, and Clara, as was her wont, went up to her +father's room. 'Papa,' she said, 'what is all this about Mr Belton?' + +'All what, my dear? what do you mean?' + +'He has asked me to be to be his wife; and has told me that he came +with your consent.' + +'And why shouldn't he have my consent? What is there amiss with him? +Why shouldn't you marry him if he likes you? You seemed, I thought, to +be very fond of him.' + +This surprised Clara more than anything. She could hardly have told +herself why, but she would have thought that such a proposition from +her cousin would have made her father angry unreasonably angry angry +with him for presuming to have such an idea; but now it seemed that he +was going to be angry with her for not accepting her cousin out of hand. + +'Yes, papa; I am fond of him; but not like that. I did not expect that +he would think of me in that way.' + +'But why shouldn't he think of you? It would be a very good marriage +for you, as far as money is concerned.' + +'You would not have me marry any one for that reason would you, papa?' + +'But you seemed to like him. Well; of course I can't make you like him. +I meant to do for the best; and when he came to me as he did, I thought +he was behaving very handsomely, and very much like a gentleman.' + +'I am sure he would do that.' + +'And if I could have thought that this place would be your home when I +am gone, it would have made me very happy very happy.' + +She now came and stood close to him and took his hand. 'I hope, papa, +you do not make yourself uneasy about me. I shall do very well. Fm sure +you can't want me to go away and leave you.' + +'How will you do very well? I'm sure I don't know. And if your aunt +Winterfield means to provide for you, it would only be kind in her to +let me know it, so that I might not have the anxiety always on my mind.' + +Clara knew well enough what was to be the disposition of her aunt's +property, but she could not tell her father of that now. She almost +felt that it was her duty to do so, but she could not bring herself to +do it. She could only beg him not to be anxious on her behalf, making +vague assurances that she would do very well. 'And are you determined +not to change your mind about Will?' he said at last. + +'I shall not change my mind about that, papa, certainly,' she answered. +Then he turned away from her, and she saw that he was displeased. + +When alone, she was forced to ask herself why it was that she was so +certain. Alas! there could in truth be no doubt on that subject in her +own mind. When she sat down, resolved to give herself an answer, there +was no doubt. She could not love her cousin, Will Belton, because her +heart belonged to Captain Aylmer. + +But she knew that she had received nothing in exchange for her heart. +He had been kind to her on that journey to Taunton, when the agony +arising from her brother's death had almost crushed her. He had often +been kind to her on days before that so kind, so soft in his manners, +approaching so nearly to the little tenderness of incipient +love-making, that the idea of regarding him as her lover had of +necessity forced itself upon her. But in nothing had he gone beyond +those tendernesses, which need not imperatively be made to mean +anything, though they do often mean so much. It was now two years since +she had first thought that Captain Aylmer was the most perfect +gentleman she knew, and nearly two years since Mrs Winterfield had +expressed to her a hope that Captain Aylmer might become her husband. +She had replied that such a thing was impossible as any girl would have +replied; and had in consequence treated Captain Aylmer with all the +coolness which she had been able to assume whenever she was in company +with him in her aunt's presence. Nor was it natural to her to be +specially gracious to a man under such trying circumstances, even when +no Mrs Winterfield was there to behold. And so things had gone on. +Captain Aylmer had now and again made himself very pleasant to her at +certain trying periods of joy or trouble almost more than pleasant. But +nothing had come of it, and Clara had told herself that Captain Aylmer +had no special feeling in her favour. She had told herself this, ever +since that journey together from Perivale to Taunton; but never till +now had she confessed to herself what was her own case. + +She made a comparison between the two men. Her cousin Will was, she +thought, the more generous, the more energetic perhaps by nature, the +man of the higher gifts. In person he was undoubtedly the superior. He +was full of noble qualities forgetful of self, industrious, full of +resources, a very man of men, able to command, eager in doing work for +others' good and his own a man altogether uncontaminated by the +coldness and selfishness of the outer world. But he was rough, awkward, +but indifferently educated, and with few of those tastes which to Clara +Amedroz were delightful. He could not read poetry to her, he could not +tell her of what the world of literature was doing now or of what it +had done in times past. He knew nothing of the inner world of worlds +which governs the world. She doubted whether he could have told her who +composed the existing cabinet, or have given the name of a single +bishop beyond the see in which his own parish was situated. But Captain +Aylmer knew everybody, and had read everything, and understood, as +though by instinct, all the movements of the world in which he lived. + +But what mattered any such comparison? Even though she should be able +to prove to herself beyond the shadow of a doubt that her cousin Will +was of the two the fitter to be loved the one more worthy of her heart +no such proof could alter her position. Love does not go by worth. She +did not love her cousin as she must love any man to whom she could give +her hand and, alas! she did love that other man. + +On this night I doubt whether Belton did slumber with that solidity of +repose which was usual to him. At any rate, before he came down in the +morning he had found time for sufficient thought, and had brought +himself to a resolution. He would not give up the battle as lost. To +his thinking there was something weak and almost mean in abandoning any +project which he had set before himself. He had been awkward, and he +exaggerated to himself his own awkwardness. He had been hasty, and had +gone about his task with inconsiderate precipitancy. It might be that +he had thus destroyed all his chance of success. But, as he said to +himself, 'he would never say die, as long as there was a puff of breath +left in him.' He would not mope, and hang down his head, and wear the +willow. Such a state of things would ill suit either the roughness or +the readiness of his life. No! He would bear Like a man the +disappointment which had on this occasion befallen him, and would +return at Christmas and once more try his fortune. + +At breakfast, therefore, the cloud had passed from his brow. When he +came in he found Clara alone in the room, and he simply shook hands +with her after his ordinary fashion. He said nothing of yesterday, and +almost succeeded in looking as though yesterday had been in no wise +memorable. She was not so much at her ease, but she also received some +comfort from his demeanour. Mr Amedroz came down almost immediately, +and Belton soon took an opportunity of saying that he would be back at +Christmas if Mr Amedroz would receive him. + +'Certainly,' said the squire. 'I thought it had been all settled.' + +'So it was till I said a word yesterday which foolishly seemed to +unsettle it. But I have thought it over again, and I find that I can +manage it.' + +'We shall be so glad to have you!' said Clara. + +'And I shall be equally glad to come. They are already at work, sir, +about the sheds.' + +'Yes; I saw the carts full of bricks go by,' said the squire, +querulously. 'I didn't know there was to be any brickwork. You said you +would have it made of deal slabs with oak posts.' + +'You must have a foundation, sir. I propose to carry the brickwork a +foot and a half above the ground.' + +'I suppose you know best. Only that kind of thing is so very ugly.' + +'If you find it to be ugly after it is done, it shall be pulled down +again.' + +'No it can never come down again.' + +'It can and it shall, if you don't like it. I never think anything of +changes like that.' + +'I think they'll be very pretty!' said Clara. + +'I dare say,' said the squire,' but at any rate it won't make much +difference to me. I shan't be here long to see them.' + +This was rather melancholy; but Belton bore up even against this, +speaking cheery words and expressing bright hopes so that it seemed, +both to Clara and her father, that he had in a great measure overcome +the disappointment of the preceding day. It was probable that he was a +man not prone to be deeply sensitive in such matters for any long +period. The period now had certainly not been long, and yet Will Belton +was alive again. + +Immediately after breakfast there occurred a little incident which was +not without its effect upon them all. There came up on the drive +immediately before the front door, under the custody of a boy, a cow. +It was an Alderney cow, and any man or woman at all understanding cows +would at once have perceived that this cow was perfect in her kind. Her +eyes were mild, and soft, and bright. Her legs were like the legs of a +deer; and in her whole gait and demeanour she almost gave the lie to +her own name, asserting herself to have sprung from some more noble +origin among the woods, than maybe supposed to be the origin of the +ordinary domestic cow a useful animal, but heavy in its appearance, and +seen with more pleasure at some little distance than at close quarters. +But this cow was graceful in its movements, and almost tempted one to +regard her as the far-off descendant of the elk or the antelope. + +'What's that?' said Mr Amedroz, who, having no cows of his own, was not +pleased to see one brought up in that way before his hail door. +'There's somebody's cow come here.' + +Clara understood it in a moment; but she was pained, and said nothing. +Had the cow come without any such scene as that of yesterday, she would +have welcomed the animal with all cordiality, and would have sworn to +her cousin that the cow should be cherished for his sake. But after +what had passed it was different. How was she to take any present from +him now? + +But Belton faced the difficulty without any bashfulness or apparent +regret. 'I told you I would give you a cow,' said he 'and here she is.' + +'What can she want with a cow?' said Mr Amedroz. + +'I am sure she wants one very much. At any rate she won't refuse the +present from me; will you, Clara?' + +What could she say? 'Not if papa will allow me to keep it.' + +'But we've no place to put it!' said the squire. 'We haven't got grass +for it!' + +'There's plenty of grass,' said Belton. 'Come, Mr Amedroz; I've made a +point of getting this little creature for Clara, and you mustn't stand +in the way of my gratification.' Of course he was successful, and of +course Clara thanked him with tears in her eyes. + +The next two days passed by without anything special to mark them, and +then the cousin was to go. During the period of his visit he did not +see Colonel Askerton, nor did he again see Mrs Askerton. He went to the +cottage once, with the special object of returning the colonel's call; +but the master was out, and he was not specially invited in to see the +mistress. He said nothing more to Clara about her friends, but he +thought of the matter more than once, as he was going about the place, +and became aware that he would like to ascertain whether there was a +mystery, and if so, what was its nature. He knew that he did not like +Mrs Askerton, and he felt also that Mrs Askerton did not like him. This +was, as he thought, unfortunate; for might it not be the case, that in +the one matter which was to him of so much importance, Mrs Askerton +might have considerable influence over Clara? + +During these days nothing special was said between him and Clara. The +last evening passed over without anything to brighten it or to make it +memorable. Mr Amedroz, in his passive, but gently querulous way, was +sorry that Belton was going to leave him, as his cousin had been the +creation of some new excitement for him, but he said nothing on the +subject; and when the time for going to bed had come, he bade his guest +farewell with some languid allusion to the pleasure which he would have +in seeing him again at Christmas. Belton was to start very early in the +morning before six, and of course he was prepared to take leave also of +Clara. But she told him very gently, so gently that her father did not +hear it, that she would be up to give him a cup of coffee before he +went. + +'Oh no,' he said. + +'But I shall. I won't have you go without seeing you out of the door.' + +And on the following morning she was up before him. She hardly +understood, herself, why she was doing this. She knew that it should be +her object to avoid any further special conversation on that subject +which they discussed up among the rocks. She knew that she could give +him no comfort, and that he could give none to her. It would seem that +he was willing to let the remembrance of the scene pass away, so that +it should be as though it had never been; and surely it was not for her +to disturb so salutary an arrangement! But yet she was up to bid him +God speed as he went. She could not bear,. so she excused the matter to +herself she could not bear to think that he should regard her as +ungrateful. She knew all that he had done for them. She had perceived +that the taking of the land, the building of the sheds, the life which +he had contrived in so short a time to throw into the old place, had +all come from a desire on his part to do good to those in whose way he +stood by family arrangements made almost before his birth; and she +longed to say to him one word of thanks. And had he not told her once +in the heat of his disappointment; for then at that moment, as Clara +had said to herself, she supposed that he must have been in some +measure disappointed had he not even then told her that when she wanted +a brother's care, a brother's care should be given to her by him? Was +she not therefore~ bound to do for him what she would do for a brother? + +She, with her own hands, brought the coffee into the little breakfast +parlour, and handed the cup into his hands. The gig, which had come +overnight from Taunton, was not yet at the door, and there was a minute +or two during which they must speak to each other. Who has not seen +some such girl when she has come down early, without the full +completeness of her morning toilet, and yet nicer, fresher, prettier to +the eye of him who is so favoured, than she has ever been in more +formal attire? And what man who has been so favoured has not loved her +who has so favoured him, even though he may not previously have been +enamoured as deeply as poor Will Belton? + +'This is so good of you,' he said. + +'I wish I knew how to be good to you,' she answered not meaning to +trench upon dangerous ground, but feeling, as the words came from her, +that she had done so. 'You have been so good to us, so very good to +papa, that we owe you everything. I am so grateful to you for saying +that you will come back at Christmas.' + +He had resolved that he would refrain from further love-making till the +winter; but he found it very hard to refrain when so addressed. To take +her in his arms, and kiss her twenty times, and swear that he would +never let her go to claim her at once savagely as his own, that was the +line of conduct to which temptation prompted him. How could she look at +him so sweetly, how could she stand before him, ministering to him with +all her pretty maidenly charms brought so close to him, without +intending that he should love her? But he did refrain. 'Blood is +thicker than water,' said he. 'That's the real reason why I first came.' + +'I understand that quite, and it is that feeling that makes you so +good. But I'm afraid you are spending a great deal of money here and +all for our sakes.' + +'Not at all. I shall get my money back again. And if I didn't, what +then? I've plenty of money. it is not money that I want.' + +She could not ask him what it was that he did want, and she was obliged +therefore to begin again. 'Papa will look forward so to the winter now.' + +'And so shall I.' + +'But you must come for longer then you won't go away at the end of a +week? Say that you won't.' + +'I'll see about it. I can't tell quite yet. You'll write me a line to +say when the shed is finished, won't you?' + +'That I will, and I'll tell you how Bessy goes on.' Bessy was the cow. +'I will be so very fond of her. She'll come to me for apples already.' + +Belton thought that he would go to her, wherever she might be, even if +he were to get no apples. 'It's all cupboard love with them,' he said. +'I'll tell you what I'll do when I come, I'll bring you a dog that will +follow you without thinking of apples.' Then the gig was heard on the +gravel before the door, and Belton was forced to go. For a moment he +reflected whether, as her cousin, it was not his duty to kiss her. It +was a matter as to which he had doubt as is the case with many male +cousins; but ultimately he resolved that if he kissed her at all he +would not kiss her in that light, and so he again refrained. 'Goodbye,' +he said, putting out his great hand to her. + +'Good-bye, Will, and God bless you.' I almost think he might have +kissed her, asking himself no questions as to the light in which it was +done. + +As he turned from her he saw the tears in her eyes; and as he sat in +the gig, thinking of them, other tears came into his own. By heaven, he +would have her yet! He was a man who had not read much of romance. To +him all the imagined mysteries of passion had not been made common by +the perusal of legions of love stories but still he knew enough of the +game to be aware that women had been won in spite, as it were, of their +own teeth. He knew that he could not now run away with her, taking her +off by force; but still he might conquer her will by his own. As he +remembered the tears in her eyes, and the tone of her voice, and the +pressure of her hand, and the gratitude that had become tender in its +expression, he could not hut think that he would be wise to love her +still. Wise or foolish, he did love her still; and it should not be +owing to fault of his if she did not become his wife. As he drove along +he saw little of the Quantock hills, little of the rich Somersetshire +pastures, little of the early beauty of the August morning. He saw +nothing but her eyes, moistened with bright tears, and before he +reached Taunton he had rebuked himself with many revilings in that he +had parted from her and not kissed her. + +Clara stood at the door watching the gig till it was out of sight +watching it as well as her tears would allow. What a grand cousin he +was! Had it not been a pity a thousand pities that that grievous +episode should have come to mar the brotherly love, the sisterly +confidence, which might otherwise have been so perfect between them? +But perhaps it might all be well yet. Clara knew, or thought that she +knew, that men and women differed in their appreciation of love. She, +having once loved, could not change. Of that she was sure. Her love +might be fortunate or unfortunate. It might be returned, or it might +simply be her own, to destroy all hope of happiness for her on earth. +But whether it were this or that, whether productive of good or evil, +the love itself could not be changed. But with men she thought it might +be different. Her cousin, doubtless, had been sincere in the full +sincerity of his heart when he made his offer. And had she accepted it +had she been able to accept it she believed that he would have loved +her truly and constantly. Such was his nature. But she also believed +that love with him, unrequited love, would have no enduring effect, and +that he had already resolved, with equal courage and wisdom, to tread +this short-lived passion out beneath his feet. One night had sufficed +to him for that treading out. As she thought of this the tears ran +plentifully down her cheek; and going again to her room she remained +there crying till it was time for her to wipe away the marks of her +weeping, that she might go to her father. + +But she was very glad that Will bore it so well very glad! Her cousin +was safe against love-making once again. + + +CHAPTER VII + +MISS AMEDROZ GOES TO PERIVALE + +It had been settled for some time past that Miss Amedroz was to go to +Perivale for a few days in November. Indeed it seemed to be a +recognized fact in her life that she was to make the journey from +Belton to Perivale and back very often, as there prevailed an idea that +she owed a divided duty. This was in some degree hard upon her, as she +had very little gratification in these visits to her aunt. Had there +been any intention on the part of Mrs Winterfield to provide for her, +the thing would have been intelligible according to the usual +arrangements which are made in the world on such matters; but Mrs +Winterfield had scarcely a right to call upon her niece for dutiful +attendance after having settled it with her own conscience that her +property was all to go to her nephew. But Clara entertained no thought +of rebelling, and had agreed to make the accustomed journey in +November, travelling then, as she did on all such journeys, at her +aunt's expense. + +Two things only occurred to disturb her tranquillity before she went, +and they were not of much violence. Mr Wright, the clergyman, called at +Belton Castle, and in the course of conversation with Mr Amedroz +renewed one of those ill-natured rumours which had before been spread +about Mrs Askerton. Clara did not see him, but she heard an account of +it all from her father. + +'Does it mean, papa,' she said, speaking almost with anger, 'that you +want me to give up Mrs Askerton?' + +'How can you be so unkind as to ask me such a question?' he replied. +'You know how I hate to be bothered. I tell you what I hear, and then +you can decide for yourself.' + +'But that isn't quite fair either, papa. That man comes here' + +'That man, as you call him, is the rector of the parish, and I've known +him for forty years.' + +'And have never liked him, papa.' + +'I don't know much about liking anybody, my dear. Nobody likes me, and +so why should I trouble myself?' + +'But, papa, it all amounts to this that somebody has said that the +Askertons are not Askertons at all, but ought to be called something +else. Now we know that he served as Captain and Major Askerton for +seven years in India and in fact it all means nothing. If I know +anything, I know that he is Colonel Askerton.' + +'But do you know that she is his wife? That is what Mr Wright asks. I +don't say anything. I think it's very indelicate talking about such +things.' + +'If I am asked whether I have seen her marriage certificate, certainly +I have not; nor probably did you ever do so as to any lady that you +ever knew. But I know that she is her husband's wife, as we all of us +know things of that sort. I know she was in India with him. I've seen +things of hers marked with her name that she has had at least ten +years.' + +'I don't know anything about it, my dear,' said Mr Amedroz, angrily. + +'But Mr Wright ought to know something about it before he says such +things. And then this that he's saying now isn't the same that he said +before.' + +'I don't know what he said before.' + +'He said they were both of them using a feigned name.' + +'It's nothing to me what name they use. I know I wish they hadn't come +here, if I'm to be troubled about them in this way first by Wright and +then by you.' + +'They have been very good tenants, papa.' + +'You needn't tell me that, Clara, and remind me about the shooting when +you know how unhappy it makes me.' + +After this Clara said nothing more, and simply determined that Mr +Wright and his gossip should have no effect upon her intimacy with Mrs +Askerton. But not the less did she continue to remember what her cousin +had said about Miss Vigo. + +And she had been ruffled a second time by certain observations which +Mrs Askerton made to her respecting her cousin or rather by little +words which were dropped on various occasions. It was very clear that +Mrs Askerton did not like Mr Belton, and that she wished to prejudice +Clara against him. 'It's a pity he shouldn't be a lover of yours,' the +lady said, 'because it would be such a fine instance of Beauty and the +Beast.' It will of course be understood that Mrs Askerton had never +been told of the offer that had been made. + +'You don't mean to say that he's not a handsome man,' said Clara. + +'I never observe whether a man is handsome or not; but I can see very +well whether he knows what to do with his arms and legs, or whether he +has the proper use of his voice before ladies.' Clara remembered a word +or two spoken by her cousin to herself, in speaking which he had seemed +to have a very proper use of his voice. 'I know when a man is at ease +like a gentleman, and when he is awkward like a' + +'Like a what?' said Clara. 'Finish what you've got to say.' + +'Like a ploughboy, I was going to say,' said Mrs Askerton. + +'I declare I think you have a spite against him, because he said you +were like some Miss Vigo,' replied Clara, sharply. Mrs Askerton was on +that occasion silenced, and she said nothing more about Mr Belton till +after Clara had returned from Perivale. + +The journey itself from Belton to Perivale was always a nuisance, and +was more so now than usual, as it was made in the disagreeable month of +November. There was kept at the little inn at Redicote an old fly-so +called which habitually made the journey to the Taunton +railway-station, under the conduct of an old grey horse and an older +and greyer driver, whenever any of the old ladies of the neighbourhood +were minded to leave their homes. This vehicle usually travelled at the +rate of five miles an hour; but the old grey driver was never content +to have time allowed to him for the transit calculated upon such a rate +of speed. Accidents might happen, and why should he be made, as he +would plaintively ask, to drive the poor beast out of its skin? He was +consequently always at Belton a full hour before the time, and though +Clara was well aware of all this, she could not help herself. Her +father was fussy and impatient, the man was fussy and impatient; and +there was nothing for her but to go. On the present occasion she was +taken off in this way the full sixty minutes too soon, and after four +dreary hours spent upon the road, found herself landed at the Taunton +station, with a terrible gulf of time to be passed before she could +again proceed on her journey. + +One little accident had occurred to her. The old horse, while trotting +leisurely along the level high road, had contrived to tumble down. +Clara did not think very much of this, as the same thing had happened +with her before; but, even with an hour or more to spare, there arises +a question whether under such circumstances the train can be saved. But +the grey old man reassured her. 'Now, miss,' said he, coming to the +window, while he left his horse recumbent and apparently comfortable on +the road, 'where'd you have been now, zure, if I hadn't a few minutes +in hand for you?' Then he walked off to some neighbouring cottage, and +having obtained assistance, succeeded in putting his beast again upon +his legs. After that he looked once more in at the window. 'Who's right +now, I wonder?' he said, with an air of triumph. And when he came to +her for his guerdon at Taunton, he was evidently cross in not having it +increased because of the accident. + +That hour at the Taunton station was terrible to her. I know of no +hours more terrible than those so passed. The minutes will not go away, +and utterly fail in making good their claim to be called winged. A man +walks up and down the platform, and in that way obtains something of +the advantage of exercise; but a woman finds herself bound to sit still +within the dreary dullness of the waiting- room. There are, perhaps, +people who under such circumstances can read, but they are few in +number. The mind altogether declines to be active, whereas the body is +seized by a spirit of restlessness to which delay and tranquillity are +loathsome. The advertisements on the walls are examined, the map of +some new Eden is studied some Eden in which an irregular pond and a +church are surrounded by a multiplicity of regular villas and shrubs +till the student feels that no consideration of health or economy would +induce him to live there. Then the porters come in and out, till each +porter has made himself odious to the sight. Everything is hideous, +dirty, and disagreeable; and the mind wanders away, to consider why +station-masters do not more frequently commit suicide. Clara Amedroz +had already got beyond this stage, and was beginning to think of +herself rather than of the station-master, when at last there sounded, +close to her ears, the bell of promise, and she knew that the train was +at hand. + +At Taunton there branched away from the main line that line which was +to take her to Perivale, and therefore she was able to take her own +place quietly in the carriage when she found that the down- train from +London was at hand. This she did, and could then watch with equanimity, +while the travellers from the other train went through the penance of +changing their seats. But she had not been so watching for many seconds +when she saw Captain Frederic Aylmer appear upon the platform. +Immediately she sank back into her corner and watched no more. Of +course he was going to Perivale; but why had not her aunt told her that +she was to meet him? Of course she would be staying in the same house +with him, and her present small attempt to avoid him would thus be +futile. The attempt was made; but nevertheless she was probably pleased +when she found that it was made in vain. He came at once to the +carriage in which she was sitting, and had packed his coats, and +dressing-bag, and desk about the carriage before he had discovered who +was his fellow-traveller 'How do you do, Captain Aylmer?' she said, as +he was about to take his seat. + +'Miss Amedroz! Dear me; how very odd! I had not the slightest +expectation of meeting you here. The pleasure is of course the greater.' + +'Nor I of seeing you. Mrs Winterfield has not mentioned to me that you +were coming to Perivale.' + +'I didn't know it myself till the day before yesterday. I'm going to +give an account of my stewardship to the good-natured Perivalians who +sent me to Parliament. I'm to dine with the Mayor tomorrow, and as some +big-wig has come in his way who is going to dine with him also, the +thing has been got up in a hurry. But I'm delighted to find that you +are to be with us.' + +'I generally go to my aunt about this time of the year.' + +'It is very good-natured of you.' Then he asked after her father, and +she told him of Mr Belton's visit, telling him nothing as the reader +will hardly require to be told of Mr Belton's offer. And so, by +degrees, they fell into close and intimate conversation. + +'I am so glad, for your, father's sake!' said the captain, with +sympathetic voice, speaking still of Mr Belton's visit. + + + +'That's what I feel, of course.' + +'I is just as it should be, as he stands in that position to the +property. And so he is a nice sort of fellow, is he? + + + +'Nice is no word for him. He is perfect!' + +'Dear me! This is terrible! You remember that they hated some old Greek +patriot when they could find no fault in him?' + +'I'll defy you to hate my cousin Will.' + +'What sort of looking man is he?' + +'Extremely handsome at least I should say so.' + +'Then I certainly must hate him. And clever?' + +'Well not what you would call clever. He is very clever about fields +and cattle.' + +'Come, there is some relief in that.' + +'But you must not mistake me. He is clever; and then there's a way +about him of doing everything just as he likes it, which is wonderful. +You feel quite sure that he'll become master of everything.' + +'But I do not feel at all sure that I should like him better for that + +'But he doesn't meddle in things that he doesn't understand. And then +he is so generous! His spending all that money down there is only done +because he thinks it will make the place pleasanter to papa.' + +'Has he got plenty of money?' + +'Oh, plenty! At least, I think so. He says that he has.' + +'The idea of any man owning that he had got plenty of money! What a +happy mortal! And then to be handsome, and omnipotent, and to +understand cattle and fields! One would strive to emulate him rather +than envy him, had not one learned to acknowledge that it is not given +to every one to get to Corinth.' + +'You may laugh at him, but you'd like him if you knew him.' + +'One never can be sure of that from a lady's account of a man. When a +man talks to me about another man, I can generally tell whether I +should like him or not particularly if I know the man well who is +giving the description; but it is quite different when a woman is the +describer.' + +'You mean that you won't take my word?' + +'We see with different eyes in such matters. I have no doubt your +cousin is a worthy man and as prosperous a gentleman as the Thane of +Cawdor in his prosperous days but probably if he and I came together we +shouldn't have a word to say to each other.' + +Clara almost hated Captain Aylmer for speaking as he did, and yet she +knew that it was true. Will Belton was not an educated man, and were +they two to meet in her presence the captain and the farmer she felt +that she might have to blush for her cousin. But yet he was the better +man of the two. She knew that he was the better man of the two, though +she knew also that she could not love him as she loved the other. + +Then they changed the subject of their conversation, and discussed Mrs +Winterfield, as they had often done before. Captain Aylmer had said +that he should return to London on the Saturday, the present day being +Tuesday, and Clara accused him of escaping always from the real hard +work of his position. 'I observe that you never stay a Sunday at +Perivale,' she said. + +'Well not often. Why should I? Sunday is just the day that people like +to be at home.' + +'I should have thought it would not have made much difference to a +bachelor in that way.' + +'But Sunday is a day that one specially likes to pass after one's own +fashion.' + +'Exactly and therefore you don't stay with my aunt. I understand it all +completely.' + +'Now you mean to be ill-natured!' + +'I mean to say that I don't like Sundays at Perivale at all, and that I +should do just as you do if I had the power. But women women, that is, +of my age are such slaves! We are forced to give an obedience for which +we can see no cause, and for which we can understand no necessity. I +couldn't tell my aunt that I meant to go away on Saturday.' + +'You have no business which makes imperative calls upon your time.' + +'That means that I can't plead pretended excuses. But the true reason +is that we are dependent.' + +'There is something in that, I suppose.' + +'Not that I am dependent on her. But my position generally is +dependent, and I cannot assist myself.' + +Captain Aylmer found it difficult to make any answer to this, feeling +the subject to be one which could hardly be discussed between him and +Miss Amedroz. He not unnaturally looked to be the heir of his aunt's +property, and any provision made out of that property for Clara would +so far lessen that which would come to him. For anything that he knew, +Mrs Winterfield might leave everything she possessed to her niece. The +old lady had not been open and candid to him whom she meant to favour +in her will, as she had been to her to whom no such favour was to be +shown. But Captain Aylmer did know, with tolerable accuracy, what was +the state of affairs at Belton, and was aware that Miss Amedroz had no +prospect of maintenance on which to depend, unless she could depend on +her aunt. She was now pleading that she was not dependent on that lady, +and Captain Aylmer felt that she was wrong. He was a man of the world, +and was by no means inclined to abandon any right that was his own; but +it seemed to him that he was almost bound to say some word to show that +in his opinion Clara should hold herself bound to comply with her +aunt's requirements. + +'Dependence is a disagreeable word,' he said; and one never quite knows +what it means.' + +'If you were a woman you'd know. It means that I must stay at Perivale +on Sundays, while you can go up to London or down to Yorkshire. That's +what it means.' + +'What you do mean, I think, is this that you owe a duty to your aunt, +the performance of which is not altogether agreeable. Nevertheless it +would be foolish in you to omit it.' + +'It isn't that not that at all. It would not be foolish, not in your +sense of the word, but it would be wrong. My aunt has been kind to me, +and therefore I am bound to her for this service. But she is kind to +you also, and yet you are not bound. That's why I complain. You sail +always under false pretences, and yet you think you do your duty. You +have to see your lawyer which means going to your club; or to attend to +your tenants which means hunting and shooting.' + +'I haven't got any tenants.' + +'You know very well that you could remain over Sunday without doing any +harm to anybody only you don't like going to church three times, and +you don't like hearing my aunt read a sermon afterwards. Why shouldn't +you stay, and I go to the club?' + +'With all my heart, if you can manage it.' + +'But I can't; we ain't allowed to have clubs, or shooting, or to have +our own way in anything, putting forward little pretences about +lawyers.' + +'Come, I'll stay if you'll ask me.' + +'I'm sure I won't do that. In the first place you'd go to sleep, and +then she would be offended; and I don't know that your sufferings would +make mine any lighter. I'm not prepared to alter the ways of the world, +but feel myself entitled to grumble at them sometimes.' + +Mrs Winterfield inhabited a large brick house in the centre of the +town. It had a long frontage to the street; for there was not only the +house itself, with its three square windows on each side of the door, +and its seven windows over that, and again its seven windows in the +upper story but the end of the coach-house also abutted on the street, +on which was the family clock, quite as much respected in Perivale as +was the town-clock; and between the coach-house and the mansion there +was the broad entrance into the yard, and the entrance also to the back +door. No Perivalian ever presumed to doubt that Mrs Winterfield's house +was the most important house in the town. Nor did any stranger doubt it +on looking at the frontage. But then it was in all respects a town +house to the eye that is, an English town house, being as ugly and as +respectable as unlimited bricks and mortar could make it. Immediately +opposite to Mrs Winterfield lived the leading doctor and a retired +builder, so that the lady's eye was not hurt by any sign of a shop. The +shops, indeed, came within a very few yards of her on either side; but +as the neighbouring shops on each side were her own property, this was +not unbearable. To me, had I lived there, the incipient growth of grass +through some of the stones which formed the margin of the road would +have been altogether unendurable. There is no sign of coming decay +which is so melancholy to the eye as any which tells of a decrease in +the throng of men. Of men or horses there was never any throng now in +that end of Perivale. That street had formed part of the main line of +road from Salisbury to Taunton, and coaches, wagons, and +posting-carriages had been frequent on it; but now, alas lit was +deserted. Even the omnibuses from the railway-station never came there +unless they were ordered to call at Mrs Winterfield's door. For Mrs +Winterfield herself, this desolation had, I think, a certain melancholy +attraction. It suited her tone of mind and her religious views that she +should be thus daily reminded that things of this world were passing +away and going to destruction. She liked to have ocular proof that +grass was growing in the highways under mortal feet, and that it was no +longer worth man's while to renew human flags in human streets. She was +drawing near to the pavements which would ever be trodden by myriads of +bright sandals, and which yet would never be worn, and would be carried +to those jewelled causeways on which no weed could find a spot for its +useless growth. + +Behind the house there was a square prim garden, arranged in +parallelograms, tree answering to tree at every corner, round which it +was still her delight to creep when the weather permitted. Poor Clara! +How much advice she had received during these creepings, and how often +had she listened to inquiries as to the schooling of the gardener's +children. Mrs Winterfield was always unhappy about her gardener. +Serious footmen are very plentiful, and even coachmen are to be found +who, at a certain rate of extra payment, will be punctual at prayer +time, and will promise to read good little books; but gardeners, as a +class, are a profane people, who think themselves entitled to claim +liberty of conscience, and who will not submit to the domestic +despotism of a serious Sunday. They live in cottages by themselves, and +choose to have an opinion of their own on church matters. Mrs +Winterfield was aware that she ought to bid high for such a gardener as +she wanted. A man must be paid well who will submit to daily inquiries +as to the spiritual welfare of himself, his wife, and family. But even +though she did bid high, and though she paid generously, no gardener +would stop with her. One conscientious man attempted to bargain for +freedom from religion during the six unimportant days of the week, +being strong, and willing therefore to give up his day of rest; but +such liberty could not be allowed to him, and he also went. 'He +couldn't stop,' he said, 'in justice to the greenhouses, when missus +was so constant down upon him about his sprittual backsliding. And +after all, where did he backslide? It was only a pipe of tobacco with +the babby in his arms, instead of that darned evening lecture.' + +Poor Mrs Winterfield! She had been strong in her youth, and had herself +sat through evening lectures with a fortitude which other people cannot +attain. And she was strong too in her age, with the strength of a +martyr, submitting herself with patience to wearinesses which are +insupportable to those who have none of the martyr spirit. The sermons +of Perivale were neither bright, nor eloquent, nor encouraging. All the +old vicar or the young curate could tell she had heard hundreds of +times. She knew it all by heart, and could have preached their sermons +to them better than they could preach them to her. It was impossible +that she could learn anything from them: and yet she would sit there +thrice a day, suffering from cold in winter, from cough in spring, from +heat in summer, and from rheumatism in autumn; and now that her doctor +had forbidden her to go more than twice, recommending her to go only +once, she really thought that she regarded the prohibition as a +grievance. Indeed, to such as her, that expectation of the jewelled +causeway, and of the perfect pavement that shall never be worn, must be +everything. But if she was right right as to herself and others then +why has the world been made so pleasant? Why is the fruit of the earth +so sweet; and the trees why are they so green; and the mountains so +full of glory? Why are women so lovely? and why is it that the activity +of man's mind is the only sure forerunner of man's progress? In +Listening thrice a day to outpourings from the clergyman at Perivale +there certainly was no activity of mind. + +Now, in these days, Mrs Winterfield was near to her reward. That she +had ensured that I cannot doubt. She had fed the poor, and filled the +young full with religious teachings perhaps not wisely, and in her own +way only too well, but yet as her judgment had directed her. She had +cared little for herself forgiving injuries done to her, and not +forgiving those only which she thought were done to the Lord. She had +lived her life somewhat as the martyr lived, who stood for years on his +pillar unmoved, while his nails grew through his flesh. So had she +stood, doing, I fear, but little positive good with her large means but +thinking nothing of her own comfort here, in comparison with the +comfort of herself and others in the world to which she was going. + +On this occasion her nephew and niece reached her together; the prim +boy, with the white cotton gloves and the low four-wheeled carriage, +having been sent down to meet Clara. For Mrs Winterfield was a lady who +thought it unbecoming that her niece though only an adopted niece +should come to her door in an omnibus. Captain Aylmer had driven the +four-wheeled carriage from the station, dispossessing the boy, and the +luggage had been confided to the public conveyance. + +'It is very fortunate that you should come together,' said Mrs +Winterfield. 'I didn't know when to expect you, Fred. Indeed, you never +say at what hour you'll come.' + +'I think it safer to allow myself a little margin, aunt, because one +has so many things to do.' + +'I suppose it is so with a gentleman,' said Mrs Winterfield. After +which Clara looked at Captain Aylmer, but did not betray any of her +suspicions. 'But I knew Clara would come by this train,' continued the +old lady; 'so I sent Tom to meet her. Ladies always can be punctual; +they can do that at any rate.' Mrs Winterfield was one of those women +who have always believed that their own sex is in every respect +inferior to the other. + + +CHAPTER VIII + +CAPTAIN AYLMER MEETS HIS CONSTITUENTS + +On the first evening of their visit Captain Aylmer was very attentive +to his aunt. He was quite alive to the propriety of such attentions, +and to their expediency; and Clara was amused as she watched him while +he sat by her side, by the hour together, answering little questions +and making little remarks suited to the temperament of the old lady's +mind. She, herself, was hardly called upon to join in the conversation +on that evening, and as she sat and listened, she could not but think +that Will Belton would have been less adroit, but that he would also +have been more straightforward. And yet why should not Captain Aylmer +talk to his mat? Will Belton would also have talked to his aunt if he +had one, but then he would have talked his own talk, and not his aunt's +talk. Clara could hardly make up her mind whether Captain Aylmer was or +was not a sincere man. On the following day Aylmer was out all the +morning, paying visits among his constituents, and at three o'clock he +was to make his speech in the town-hall. Special places in the gallery +were to be kept for Mrs Winterfield and her niece, and the old woman +was quite resolved that she would be there. As the day advanced she +became very fidgety, and at length she was quite alive to the perils of +having to climb up the town-hall stairs; but she persevered, and at ten +minutes before three she was seated in her place. + +'I suppose they will begin with prayer,' she said to Clara. Clara, who +knew nothing of the manner in which things were done at such meetings, +said that she supposed so. A town councillor's wife who sat on the +other side of Mrs Winterfield here took the liberty of explaining that +as the captain was going to talk politics there would be no prayers. +'But they have prayers in the Houses of Parliament,' said Mrs +Winterfield, with much anger. To this the town councillor's wife, who +was almost silenced by the great lady's wrath, said that indeed she did +not know. After this Mrs Winterfield continued to hope for the best, +till the platform was filled and the proceedings had commenced. Then +she declared the present men of Perivale to be a godless set, and +expressed herself very sorry that her nephew had ever had anything to +do with them. 'No good can come of it, my dear,' she said. Clara from +the beginning had feared that no good would come of her aunt's visit to +the town-hall. + +The business was put on foot at once, and with some little flourishing +at the commencement, Captain Aylmer made his speech the same speech +which we have all heard and read so often, specially adapted to the +meridian of Perivale. He was a Conservative, and of course he told his +hearers that a good time was coming; that he and his family were really +about to buckle themselves to the work, and that Perivale would hear +things that would surprise it. The malt tax was to go, and the farmers +were to have free trade in beer the arguments from the other side +having come beautifully round in their appointed circle and old England +was to be old England once again. He did the thing tolerably well, as +such gentlemen usually do, and Perivale was contented with its Member, +with the exception of one Perivalian. To Mrs Winterfield, sitting up +there and listening with all her ears, it seemed that he had hitherto +omitted all allusion to any subject that was worthy of mention. At last +he said some word about the marriage and divorce court, condemning the +iniquity of the present law, to which Perivale had opposed itself +violently by petition and general meetings; and upon hearing this Mrs +Winterfield had thumped with her umbrella, and faintly cheered him with +her weak old voice. But the surrounding Perivalians had heard the +cheer, and it was repeated backward and forwards through the room, till +the Member's aunt thought that it might be her nephew's mission to +annul that godless Act of Parliament and restore the matrimonial bonds +of England to their old rigidity. When Captain Aylmer came out to hand +her up to her little carriage, she patted him, and thanked him, and +encouraged him; and on her way home she congratulated herself to Clara +that she should have such a nephew to leave behind in her place. + +Captain Aylmer was dining with the Mayor on that evening, and Mrs +Winterfield was therefore able to indulge herself in talking about him. +'I don't see much of young men, of course,' she said; 'but I do not +even hear of any that are like him.' Again Clara thought of her cousin +Will. Will was not at all like Frederic Aylmer; but was he not better? +And yet, as she thought thus, she remembered that she had refused her +cousin Will because she loved that very Frederic Aylmer whom her mind +was thus condemning. + +'I'm sure he does his duty as a Member of Parliament very well,' said +Clara. + +'That alone would not be much; but when that is joined to so much that +is better, it is a great deal. I am told that very few of the men in +the House now are believers at all.' + +'Oh, aunt!' + +'It is terrible to think of, my dear.' + +'But, aunt; they have to take some oath, or something of that sort, to +show that they are Christians.' + +'Not now, my dear. They've done away with all that since we had Jew +members. An atheist can go into Parliament now; and I'm told that most +of them are that, or nearly as bad. I can remember when no Papist could +sit in Parliament. But they seem to me to be doing away with +everything. It's a great comfort to me that Frederic is what he is.' + +'I'm sure it must be, aunt.' + +Then there was a pause, during which, however, Mrs Winterfield gave no +sign that the conversation was to be considered as being over. Clara +knew her aunt's ways so well, that she was sure something more was +coming, and therefore waited patiently, without any thought of taking +up her book. 'I was speaking to him about you yesterday,' Mrs +Winterfield said at last. + +'That would not interest him very much.' + +'Why not? Do you suppose he is not interested in those I love? Indeed, +it did interest him; and he told me what I did not know before, and +what you ought to have told me.' + +Clara now blushed, she knew not why, and became agitated. 'I don't know +that I have kept anything from you that I ought to have told,' she said. + +'He says that the provision made for you by your father has all been +squandered.' + +'If he used that word he has been very unkind,' said Clara, angrily. + +'I don't know what word he used, but he was not unkind at all; he never +is. I think he was very generous. + +'I do not want his generosity, aunt,' + +'That is nonsense, my dear. If he has told me the truth, what have you +to depend on?' + +'I don't want to depend on anything. I hate hearing about it.' + +'Clara, I wonder you can talk in that way. If you were only seventeen +it would be very foolish; but at your age it is inexcusable. When I am +gone, and your father is gone, who is to provide for you? Will your +cousin do it Mr Belton, who is to have the property?' + +'Yes, he would if I would let him of course I would not let him. But, +aunt, pray do not go on. I would sooner have to starve than talk about +it at all.' + +There was another pause; but Clara again knew that the conversation was +not over; and she knew also that it would be vain for her to endeavour +to begin another subject. Nor could she think of anything else to say, +so much was she agitated. + +'What makes you suppose that Mr Belton would be so liberal?' asked Mrs +Winterfield. + +'I don't know. I can't say. He is the nearest relation I shall have; +and of all the people I ever knew he is the best, and the most +generous, and the least selfish. When he came to us papa was quite +hostile to him disliking his very name; but when the time came, papa +could not bear to think of his going, because he had been so good.' + +'Clara!' + +'Well, aunt.' + +'I hope you know my affection for you.' + +'Of course I do, aunt; and I hope you trust mine for you also.' + +'Is there anything between you and Mr Belton besides cousinship?' + +'Nothing.' + +'Because if I thought that, my trouble would of course be at an end.' + +'There is nothing but pray do not lot me be a trouble to you.' Clara, +for a moment, almost resolved to tell her aunt the whole truth; but she +remembered that she would be treating her cousin badly if she told the +story of his rejection. + +There was another short period of silence, and then Mrs Winterfield +went on. 'Frederic thinks that I should make some provision for you by +will. That, of course, is the same as though he offered to do it +himself. I told him that it would be so, and I read him my will last +night. He said that that made no difference, and recommended me to add +a codicil. I asked him how much I ought to give you, and he said +fifteen hundred pounds. There will be as much as that after burying me +without burden to the estate. You must acknowledge that he has been +very generous.' + +But Clara, in her heart, did not at all thank Captain Aylmer for his +generosity. She would have had everything from him, or nothing. It was +grievous to her to think that she should owe to him a bare pittance to +keep her out of the workhouse to him who had twice seemed to be on the +point of asking her to share everything with him. She did not love her +cousin Will as she loved him; but her cousin Will's assurance to her +that he would treat her with a brother's care was sweeter to her by far +than Frederic Aylmer's well-balanced counsel to his aunt on her behalf. +In her present mood, too, she wanted no one to have fore. thought for +her; she desired no provision; for her, in the discomfiture of heart, +there was consolation in the feeling that when she should find herself +alone in the world, she would have been ill-treated by her friends all +round her. There was a charm in the prospect of her desolation of which +she did not wish to be robbed by the assurance of some seventy pounds a +year, to be given to her by Captain Frederic Aylmer. To be robbed of +one's grievance is the last and foulest wrong a wrong under which the +most enduring temper will at last yield and become soured by which the +strongest back will be broken. 'Well, my dear,' continued Mrs +Winterfield, when Clara made no response to this appeal for praise. + +'It is so hard for me to say anything about it, aunt. What can I say +but that I don't want to be a burden to any one?' + +'That is a position which very few women can attain, that is, very few +single women.' + +'I think it would be well if all single women were strangled by the +time they are thirty,' said Clara with a fierce energy which absolutely +frightened her aunt. + +'Clara! how can you say anything so wicked so abominably wicked?' + +'Anything would be better than being twitted in this way. How can I +help it that I am not a man and able to work for my bread? But I am not +above being a housemaid, and so Captain Aylmer shall find. I'd sooner +be a housemaid, with nothing but my wages, than take the money which +you say he is to give me. It will be of no use, aunt, for I shall not +take it.' + +'It is I that am to leave it to you. It is not to be a present from +Frederic.' + +'It is the same thing, aunt. He says you are to do it; and you told me +just now that it was to come out of his pocket.' + +'I should have done it myself long ago, had you told me all the truth +about your father's affairs.' + +'How was I to tell you? I would sooner have bitten my tongue out. But I +will tell you the truth now. If I had known that all this was to be +said to me about money, and that our poverty was to be talked over +between you and Captain Aylmer, I would not have come to Perivale. I +would rather that you should be angry with me and think that I had +forgotten you.' + +'You would not say that, Clara, if you remembered that this will +probably be your last visit to me.' + +'No, no; it will not be the last. But do not talk about these things. +And it will be so much better that I should be here when he is not +here.' + + + +'I had hoped that when I died you might both be with me together as +husband and wife.' + +'Such hopes never come to anything.' + +'I still think that he would wish it.' + +'That is nonsense, aunt. it is indeed, for neither of us wish it.' A +lie on such a subject from a woman under such circumstances is hardly +to be considered a lie at all. It is spoken with no mean object, and is +the only bulwark which the woman has ready at her need to cover her own +weakness. + +'From what he said yesterday,' continued Mrs Winterfield, 'I think it +is your own fault.' + +'Pray pray do not talk in that way. It cannot be matter of any fault +that two people do not want to marry each other.' + +'Of course I asked him no positive question. It would be indelicate +even in me to have done that. But he spoke as though he thought very +highly of you.' + +'No doubt he does. And so do I of Mr Possitt.' + +'Mr Possitt is a very excellent young man,' said Mrs Winterfield, +gravely. Mr Possitt was, indeed, her favourite curate of Perivale, and +always dined at the house on Sundays between services, when Mrs +Winter-field was very particular in seeing that he took two glasses of +her best port wine to support him. 'But Mr Possitt has nothing but his +curacy.' + +'There is no danger, aunt, I can assure you.' + +'I don't know what you call danger; but Frederic seemed to think that +you are always sharp with him. You don't want to quarrel with him, I +hope, because I love him better than any one in the world?' + +'Oh, aunt, what cruel things you say to me without thinking of them!' + +'I do not mean to be cruel, but I will say nothing more about him. As I +told you before that I had not thought it expedient to leave away any +portion of my little property from Frederic believing, as I did then, +that the money intended for you by your father was still remaining it +is best that you should now know that I have at last learnt the truth, +and that I will at once see my lawyer about making the change.' + +'Dear aunt, of course I thank you.' + +'I want no thanks, Clara. I humbly strive to do what I believe to be my +duty. I have never felt myself to be more than a steward of my money. +That I have often failed in my stewardship I know well for in what +duties do we not all fail?' Then she gently laid herself back in her +arm-chair, closing her eyes, while she kept fast clasped in her hands +the little book of daily devotion which she had been striving to read +when the conversation had been commenced. Clara knew then that nothing +more was to be said, and that she was not at present to interrupt her +aunt. From her posture, and the closing of her eyelids, Mrs Winterfield +might have been judged to be asleep; but Clara could see the gentle +motion of her lips, and was aware that her aunt was solacing herself +with prayer. + +Clara was angry with herself, and angry with all the world. She knew +that the old lady who was sitting then before her was very good; and +that all this that had now been said had come from pure goodness, and a +desire that strict duty might be done; and Clara was angry with herself +in that she had not been more ready with her thanks and more +demonstrative with her love and gratitude. Mrs Winterfield was +affectionate as well as good, and her niece's coldness, as the niece +well knew, had hurt her sorely. But still what could Clara have done or +said? She told herself that it was beyond her power to burst out into +loud praises of Captain Aylmer; and of such nature was the gratitude +which Mrs Winterfield had desired. She was not grateful to Captain +Aylmer, and wanted nothing that was to come from his generosity. And +then her mind went away to that other portion of her aunt's discourse. +Could it be possible that this man was in truth attached to her, and +was repelled simply by her own manner? She was aware that she had +fallen into a habit of fighting with him, of sparring against him with +words about indifferent things, and calling his conduct in question in +a manner half playful and half serious. Could it be the truth that she +was thus robbing herself of that which would be to her as to herself +she had frankly declared the one treasure which she would desire? +Twice, as has been said before, words had seemed to tremble on his lips +which might have settled the question for her for ever; and on both +occasions, as she knew, she herself had helped to laugh off the +precious word that had been coming. But had he been thoroughly in +earnest in earnest as she would have him to be no laugh would have +deterred him from his purpose. Could she have laughed Will Belton out +of his declaration? + +At last the lips ceased to move, and she knew that her aunt was in +truth asleep. The poor old lady hardly ever slept at night; but nature, +claiming something of its due, would give her rest such as this in her +arm-chair by the fire-side. They were sitting in a large double +drawing-room upstairs, in which there were, as was customary with Mrs +Winterfield in winter, two fires; and the candles were in the +back-room, while the two ladies sat in that looking out into the +street. This Mrs Winterfield did to save her eyes from the candles, and +yet to be within reach of light if it were wanted. And Clara also sat +motionless in the dark, careful not to disturb her aunt, and desirous +of being with her when she should awake. Captain Aylmer bad declared +his purpose of being home early from the Mayor's dinner, and the ladies +were to wait for his arrival before tea was brought to them. Clara was +herself almost asleep when the door was opened, and Captain Aylmer +entered the room. + +'H sh!' she said, rising gently from her chair, and putting up her +finger. He saw her by the dull light of the fire, and closed the door +without a sound. Clara then crept into the back-room and he followed +her with a noiseless step. ' She did not sleep at all last night,' said +Clara; 'and now the unusual excitement of the day has fatigued her, and +I think it is better not to wake her.' The rooms were large, and they +were able to place themselves at such a distance from the sleeper that +their low words could hardly disturb her. + +'Was she very tired when she got home? 'he asked. + +'Not very. She has been talking much since that.' + +'Has she spoken about her will to you?' + +'Yes she has.' + +'I thought she would.' Then he was silent, as though he expected that +she would speak again on that matter. But she had no wish to discuss +her aunt's will with him, and therefore, to break the silence, asked +him some trifling question. 'Are you not home earlier than you +expected? + +'It was very dull, and there was nothing more to be said. I did come +away early, and perhaps have given affront. I hope you will accept the +compliment implied.' + +'Your aunt will, when she wakes. She will be delighted to find you +here.' + +'I am awake,' said Mrs Winterfield. 'I heard Frederic come in. It is +very good of him to come so soon. Clara, my dear, we will have tea.' + +During tea, Captain Aylmer was called upon to give an account of the +Mayor's feast how the rector had said grace before dinner, and Mr +Possitt had done so after dinner, and how the soup had been uneatable. +'Dear me!' said Mrs Winterfield. 'And yet his wife was housekeeper +formerly in a family that lived very well!' The Mrs Winterfields of +this world allow themselves little spiteful pleasures of this kind, +repenting of them, no doubt, in those frequent moments in which they +talk to their friends of their own terrible vilenesses. Captain Aylmer +then explained that his own health had been drunk, and his aunt desired +to know whether, in returning thanks, he had been able to say anything +further against that wicked Divorce Act of Parliament. This her nephew +was constrained to answer with a negative, and so the conversation was +carried on till tea was over. She was very anxious to hear every word +that he could be made to utter as to his own doings in Parliament, and +as to his doings in Perivale, and hung upon him with that wondrous +affection which old people with warm hearts feel for those whom they +have selected as their favourites. Clara saw it all, and knew that her +aunt was almost doting. + +'I think I'll go up to bed now, my dears,' said Mrs Winterfield, when +she had taken her cup of tea. 'I am tired with those weary stairs in +the Town-hall, and I shall be better in my own room.' Clara offered to +go with her, but this attendance her aunt declined as she did always. +So the bell was rung, and the old maid. servant walked off with her +mistress, and Miss Amedroz and Captain Aylmer were left together. + +'I don't think she will last long,' said Captain Aylmer, soon after the +door was closed. + +'I should be sorry to believe that; but she is certainly much altered.' + +'She has great courage to keep her up and a feeling that she should not +give way, but do her duty to the last. In spite of all that, however, I +can see how changed she is since the summer. Have you ever thought how +sad it will be if she should be alone when the day comes?' + +'She has Martha, who is more to her now than any one else unless it is +you.' + +'You could not remain with her over Christmas, I suppose?' + +'Who, I? What would my father do? Papa is as old, or nearly as old, as +my aunt.' + +'But he is strong.' + +'He is very lonely. He would be more lonely than she is, for he has no +such servant as Martha to be with him. Women can do better than men, I +think, when they come to my aunt's age.' + +>From this they got into a conversation as to the character of the lady +with whom they were both so nearly connected, and, in spite of all that +Clara could do to prevent it, continual references were made by Captain +Aylmer to her money and will, and the need of an addition to that will +on Clara's behalf. At last she was driven to speak out. 'Captain +Aylmer,' she said, 'the subject is so distasteful to me, that I must +ask you not to speak about it.' + +'In my position I am driven to think about it.' + +'I cannot, of course, help your thoughts; but I can assure you that +they are unnecessary.' + +'It seems to me so hard that there should be such a gulf between you +and me.' This he said after he had been silent for a while; and as he +spoke he looked away from her at the fire. + +'I don't know that there is any particular gulf,' she replied. + +'Yes, there is. And it is you that make it. Whenever I attempt to speak +to you as a friend you draw yourself off from me, and shut yourself up. +I know that it is not jealousy.' + +'Jealousy, Captain Aylmer!' + +'Jealousy with my aunt, I mean.' + +'No, indeed.' + +'You are infinitely too proud for that; but I am sure that a stranger +seeing it would think that it was so.' + +'I don't know what it is that I do or that I ought not to do. But all +my life everything that I have done at Perivale has always been wrong.' + +'It would have been so natural that you and I should be friends.' + +'If we are enemies, Captain Aylmer, I don't know it.' + +'But if ever I venture to speak of your future life you always repel me +as though you were determined to let me know that it should not be a +matter of care to me.' + +'That is exactly what I am determined to let you know. You are, or will +be, a rich man, and you have everything the world can give you. I am, +or shall be, a very poor woman.' + +'Is that a reason why I should not be interested in your welfare?' + +'Yes the best reason in the world. We are not related to each other, +though we have a common connexion in dear Mrs Winterfield. And nothing, +to my idea, can be more objectionable than any sort of dependence from +a woman of my age on a man of yours there being no real tie of blood +between them. I have spoken very plainly, Captain Aylmer, for you have +made me do it.' + +'Very plainly,' he said. + +'If I have said anything to offend you, I beg your pardon; but I was +driven to explain myself.' + +Then she got up and took her bed-candle in her hand. + +'You have not offended me,' he said, as he also rose. + +'Good-night, Captain Aylmer.' + +He took her hand and kept it. 'Say that we are friends.' + +'Why should we not be friends?' + +'There is no reason on my part why we should not be the dearest +friends,' he said. 'Were it not that I am so utterly without +encouragement, I should say the very dearest.' He still held her hand, +and was looking into her face as he spoke. For a moment she stood +there, bearing his gaze, as though she expected some further words to +be spoken. Then she withdrew her hand, and again saying, in a clear +voice, 'Good-night, Captain Aylmer,' she left the room. + + +CHAPTER IX + +CAPTAIN AYLMER'S PROMISE TO HIS AUNT + +What had Captain Aylmer meant by telling her that they might be the +dearest friends by saying so much as that, and then saying no more? Of +course Clara asked herself that question as soon as she was alone in +her bedroom, after leaving Captain Aylmer below. And she made two +answers to herself two answers which were altogether distinct and +contradictory one of the other. At first she decided that he had said +so much and no more because he was deceitful because it suited his +vanity to raise hopes which he had no intention of fulfilling because +he was fond of saying soft things which were intended to have no +meaning. This was her first answer to herself. But in her second she +accused herself as much as before she had accused him. She had been +cold to him, unfriendly, and harsh. As her aunt had told her, she spoke +sharp words to him, and repulsed the kindness which he offered her. +What right had she to expect from him a declaration of love when she +was studious to stop him at every avenue by which he might approach it? +A little management on her side would, she almost knew, make things +right. But then the idea of any such management distressed her nay, +more, disgusted her. The management, if any were necessary, must come +from him. And it was manifest enough that if he had any strong wishes +in this matter he was not a good manager. Her cousin, Will Belton, knew +how to manage much better. + +On the next morning, however, all her thoughts respecting Captain +Aylmer were dissipated by tidings which Martha brought to her bedside. +Her aunt was ill. Martha was afraid that her mistress was very ill. She +did not dare to send specially for the doctor on her own +responsibility, as Mrs Winterfield had strong and peculiar feelings +about doctors' visits, and had on this very morning declined to be so +visited. On the next day the doctor would come in the usual course of +things, for she had submitted for some years back to such periodical +visitings; but she had desired that nothing might be done out of the +common way. Martha, however, declared that if she were alone with her +mistress the doctor would be sent for; and she now petitioned for aid +from Clara. Clara was, of course, by her aunt's bedside in a few +minutes, and in a few minutes more the doctor from the other side of +the way was there also. + +It was ten o'clock before Captain Aylmer and Miss Amedroz met at +breakfast, and they had before that been together in Mrs Winterfield's +room. The doctor had told Captain Aylmer that his aunt was very ill +very ill, dangerously ill. She had been wrong to go into such a place +as the cold, unaired Town-hall, and that, too, in the month of +November; and the fatigue had also been too much for her. Mrs +Winterfield, too, had admitted to Clara that she know herself to be +very ill. 'I felt it coming on me last night,' she said, 'when I was +talking to you; and I felt it still more strongly when I left you after +tea. I have lived long enough. God's will be done.' At that moment, +when she said she had lived long enough, she forgot her intention with +reference to her will. But she remembered it before Clara had left the +room. 'Tell Frederic', she said, 'to send at once for Mr Palmer.' Now +Clara knew that Mr Palmer was the attorney, and resolved that she would +give no such message to Captain Aylmer. But Mrs Winterfield sent for +her nephew, who had just left her, and herself gave her orders to him. +In the course of the morning there came tidings from the attorney's +office that Mr Palmer was away from Perivale, that he would be back on +the morrow, and that he would of course wait on Mrs Winterfield +immediately on his return. + +Captain Aylmer and Miss Amedroz discussed nothing but their aunt's +state of health that morning over the breakfast-table. Of course, under +such circumstances in the house, there was no further immediate +reference made to that offer of dearest friendship. It was clear to +them both that the doctor did not expect that Mrs Winterfield would +again leave her bed; and it was clear to Clara also that her aunt was +of the same opinion. + +'I shall hardly be able to go home now,' she said. + +'It will be kind of you if you can remain.' + +'And you?' + +'I shall remain over the Sunday. If by that time she is at all better, +I will run up to town and come down again before the end of the week. I +know you don't believe it, but a man really has some things which he +must do.' + +'I don't disbelieve you, Captain Aylmer.' + +'But you must write to me daily if I do go.' + +To this Clara made no objection and she must write also to some one +else. She must let her cousin know how little chance there was that she +would be at home at Christmas, explaining to him at the same time that +his visit to her father would on that account be all the more welcome. + +'Are you going to her now?' he asked, as Clara got up immediately after +breakfast. 'I shall be in the house all the morning, and if you want me +you will of course send for me.' + +'She may perhaps like to see you.' + +'I will come up every now and again. I would remain there altogether, +only I should be in the way.' Then he got a newspaper and made himself +comfortable over the fire, while she went up to her weary task in her +aunt's room. + +Neither on that day nor on the next did the lawyer come, and on the +following morning all earthly troubles were over with Mrs Winterfield. +It was early on the Sunday morning that she died, and late on the +Saturday evening Mr Palmer had sent up to say that he had been detained +at Taunton, but that he would wait on Mrs Winterfield early on the +Monday morning. On the Friday the poor lady had said much on the +subject, but had been comforted by an assurance from her nephew that +the arrangement should be carried out exactly as she wished it, whether +the codicil was or was not added to the will. To Clara she said nothing +more on the subject, nor at such a time did Captain Aylmer feel that he +could offer her any assurance on the matter. But Clara knew that the +will was not altered; and though at the time she was not thinking much +about money, she had, nevertheless, very clearly made up her own mind +as to her own conduct. Nothing should induce her to take a present of +fifteen hundred pounds or, indeed, of as many pence from Captain +Aylmer. During those hours of sickness in the house they had been much +thrown together, and no one could have been kinder or more gentle to +her than he had been. He had come to call her Clara, as people will do +when joined together in such duties, and had been very pleasant as well +as affectionate in his manner with her. It had seemed to her that he +also wished to take upon himself the cares and love of an adopted +brother. But as an adopted brother she would have nothing to do with +him. The two men whom she liked best in the world would assume each the +wrong place; and between them both she felt that she would be left +friendless. + +On the Saturday afternoon they had both surmised how it was going to be +with Mrs Winterfield, and Captain Aylmer had told Mr Palmer that he +feared his coming on the Monday would be useless. He explained also +what was required, and declared that he would be at once ready to make +good the deficiency in the will Mr Palmer seemed to think that this +would be better even than the making of a codicil in the last moments +of the lady's life; and, therefore, he and Captain Aylmer were at rest +on that subject. + +During the greater part of the Saturday night both Clara and Captain +Aylmer remained with their aunt; and once when the morning was almost +there, and the last hour was near at hand, she had said a word or two +which both of them had understood, in which she implored her darling +Frederic to take a brother's care of Clara Amedroz. Even in that moment +Clara had repudiated the legacy, feeling sure in her heart that +Frederic Aylmer was aware what was the nature of the care which he +ought to owe, if he would consent to owe any care to her. He promised +his aunt that he would do as she desired him, and it was impossible +that Clara should then, aloud, repudiate the compact. But she said +nothing, merely allowing her hand to rest with his beneath the thin, +dry hand of the dying woman. To her aunt, however, when for a moment +they were alone together, she showed all possible affection, with +thanks and tears, and warm kisses, and prayers for forgiveness as to +all those matters in which she had offended. 'My pretty one my dear,' +said the old woman, raising her hand on to the head of the crouching +girl, who was hiding her moist eyes on the bed. Never during her life +had her aunt appeared to her in so loving a mood as now, when she was +leaving it. Then, with some eager impassioned words, in which she +pronounced her ideas of what should be the religious duties of a woman, +Mrs Winterfield bade farewell to her niece. After that, she had a +longer interview with her nephew, and then it seemed that all worldly +cares were over with her. + +The Sunday was passed in all that blackness of funeral grief which is +absolutely necessary on such occasions. It cannot be said that either +Clara or Captain Aylmer were stricken with any of that agony of woe +which is produced on us by the death of those whom we have loved so +well that we cannot bring ourselves to submit to part with them. They +were both truly sorry for their aunt, in the common parlance of the +world; but their sorrow was of that modified sort which does not numb +the heart and make the surviving sufferer feel that there never can be +a remedy. Nevertheless, it demanded sad countenances, few words, and +those spoken hardly above a whisper; an absence of all amusement and +almost of all employment, and a full surrender to the trappings of woe. +They two were living together without other companion in the big house +sitting down together to dinner and to tea; but on this day hardly a +dozen words were spoken between them, and those dozen were spoken with +no purport. On the Monday Captain Aylmer gave orders for the funeral, +and then went away to London, undertaking to be back on the day before +the last ceremony. Clara was rather glad that he should be gone, though +she feared the solitude of the big house. She was glad that he should +be gone, as she found it impossible to talk to him with ease to +herself. She knew that he was about to assume some position as +protector or quasi guardian over her in conformity with her aunt's +express wish, and she was quite resolved that she would submit to no +such guardianship from his hands. That being so, the shorter period +there might be for any such discussion the better. + +The funeral was to take place on the Saturday, and during the four days +that intervened she received two visits from Mr Possitt. Mr Possitt was +very discreet in what he said, and Clara was angry with herself for not +allowing his words to have any avail with her. She told herself that +they were commonplace; but she told herself, also, after his first +visit, that she had no right to expect anything else but commonplace +words. How often are men found who can speak words on such occasions +that are not commonplaces that really stir the soul, and bring true +comfort to the listener? The humble listener may receive comfort even +from commonplace words; but Clara was not humble, and rebuked herself +for her own pride. On the second occasion of his coming she did +endeavour to receive him with a meek heart, and to accept what he said +with an obedient spirit. But the struggle within her bosom was hard, +and when he bade her to kneel and pray with him, she doubted for a +moment between rebellion and hypocrisy. But she had determined to be +meek, and so hypocrisy carried the hour. + +What would a clergyman say on such an occasion if the object of his +solicitude were to decline the offer, remarking that prayer at that +moment did not seem to be opportune; and that, moreover, he, the person +thus invited, would like, first of all, to know what was to be the +special object of the proposed prayer, if he found that he could, at +the spur of the moment, bring himself at all into a fitting mood for +the task? Of him who would decline, without argument, the clergyman +would opine that he was simply a reprobate. Of him who would propose to +accompany an hypothetical acceptance with certain stipulations, he +would say to himself that he was a stiff-necked wrestler against grace, +whose condition was worse than that of the reprobate. Men and women, +conscious that they will be thus judged, submit to the hypocrisy, and +go down upon their knees unprepared, making no effort, doing nothing +while they are there, allowing their consciences to be eased if they +can only feel themselves numbed into some ceremonial awe by the +occasion. So it was with Clara, when Mr Possitt, with easy piety, went +through the formula of his devotion, hardly ever having realized to +himself the fact that of all works in which man can engage himself, +that of prayer is the most difficult. + +'It is a sad loss to me,' said Mr Possitt, as he sat for half an hour +with Clara, after she had thus submitted herself. Mr Possitt was a +weakly, pale-faced little man, who worked so hard in the parish that on +every day, Sundays included, he went to bed as tired in all his bones +as a day labourer from the fields 'a very great loss. There are not +many now who understand what a clergyman has to go through, as our dear +friend did.' If he was mindful of his two glasses of port wine on +Sundays, who could blame him? + +'She was a very kind woman, Mr Possitt.' + +'Yes, indeed and so thoughtful! That she will have an exceeding great +reward, who can doubt? Since I knew her she always lived as a saint +upon earth. I suppose there's nothing known as to who will live in this +house, Miss Amedroz?' + +'Nothing I should think.' + +'Captain Aylmer won't keep it in his own hands?' + +'I cannot tell in the least; but as he is obliged to live in London +because of Parliament, and goes to Yorkshire always in the autumn, he +can hardly want it. + +'I suppose not. But it will be a sad loss a sad loss to have this house +empty. Ah I shall never forget her kindness to me. Do you know, Miss +Amedroz,' and as he told his little secret he became beautifully +confidential 'do you know, she always used to send me ten guineas at +Christmas to help me along. She understood, as well as any one, how +hard it is for a gentleman to live on seventy pounds a year. You will +not wonder that I should feel that I've had a loss.' It is hard for a +gentleman to live upon seventy pounds a year; and it is very hard, too, +for a lady to live upon nothing a year, which lot in life fate seemed +to have in store for Miss Amedroz. + +On the Friday evening Captain Aylmer came back, and Clara was in truth +glad to see him. Her aunt's death had been now far enough back to admit +of her telling Martha that she would not dine till Captain Aylmer had +come, and to allow her to think somewhat of his comfort. People must +eat and drink even when the grim monarch is in the house; and it is a +relief when they first dare to do so with some attention to the +comforts which are ordinarily so important to them. For themselves +alone women seldom care to exercise much trouble in this direction; but +the presence of a man at once excuses and renders necessary the +ceremony of a dinner. So Clara prepared for the arrival, and greeted +the corner with some returning pleasantness of manner. And he, too, was +pleasant with her, telling her of his plans, and speaking to her as +though she were one of those whom it was natural that he should +endeavour to interest in his future welfare. + +'When I come back tomorrow,' he said, 'the will must be opened and +read. It had better be done here.' They were sitting over the fire in +the dining-room, after dinner, and Clara knew that the coming back to +which he alluded was his return from the funeral. But she made no +answer to this, as she wished to say nothing about her aunt's will. +'And after that,' he continued, 'you had better let me take you out.' + +'I am very well,' she said. 'I do not want any special taking out.' + +'But you have been confined to the house a whole week.' + +'Women are accustomed to that, and do not feel it as you would. +However, I will walk with you if you'll take me.' + +'Of course I'll take you. And then we must settle our future plans. +Have you fixed upon any day yet for returning? Of course, the longer +you stay, the kinder you will be.' + +'I can do no good to any one by staying.' + +'You do good to me but I suppose I'm nobody. I wish I could tell what +to do about this house. Dear, good old woman! I know she would have +wished that I should keep it in my own hands, with some idea of living +here at some future time but of course I shall never live here.' + +'Why not?' + +'Would you like it yourself?' + +'I am not Member of Parliament for Perivale, and should not be the +leading person in the town. You would be a sort of king here; and then, +some day, you will have your mother's property as well as your aunt's; +and you would be near to your own tenants.' + +'But that does not answer my question. Could you bring yourself to live +here even if it were your own?' + +'Why not?' + +'Because it is so deadly dull because it has no attraction whatever +because of all lives it is the one you would like the least. No one +should live in a provincial town but they who make their money by doing +so.' + +'And what are the wives and daughters of such people to do and +especially their widows? I have no doubt I could live here very happily +if I had anybody near me that I liked. I should not wish to have to +depend altogether on Mr Possitt for society.' + +'And you would find him about the best.' + +'Mr Possitt has been with me twice whilst you were away, and he, too, +asked what you meant to do about the house.' + +'And what did you say?' + +'What could I say? Of course I said I did not know. I suppose he was +meditating whether you would live here and ask him to dinner on +Sundays!' + +'Mr Possitt is a very good sort of man,' said the captain, gravely for +Captain Aylmer, in the carrying out of his principles, always spoke +seriously of everything connected with the Church in Perivale. + +'And quite worthy to be asked to dinner on Sundays,' said Clara. 'But I +did not give him any hope. How could I? Of course I knew that you would +not live here, though I did not tell him so.' + +'No; I don't suppose I shall. But I see very plainly that you think I +ought to do so.' + +'I've the old-fashioned idea as to a man's living near to his own +property; that is all. No doubt it was good for other people in +Perivale, besides Mr Possitt, that my dear aunt lived here; and if the +house is shut up, or let to some stranger, they will feel her loss the +more. But I don't know that you are bound to sacrifice yourself to +them.' + +'If I were to marry,' said Captain Aylmer, very slowly and in a low +voice, 'of course I should have to think of my wife's wishes.' + +'But if your wife, when she accepted you, knew that you were living +here, she would hardly take upon herself to demand that you should give +up your residence.' + +'She might find it very dull.' + +'She would make her own calculations as to that before she accepted +you.' + +'No doubt but I can't fancy any woman taking a man who was tied by his +leg to Perivale. What do people do who live in Perivale?' + +'Earn their bread.' + +'Yes that's just what I said. But I shouldn't earn mine here.' + +'I have the feeling I spoke of very strongly about papa's place,' said +Clara, changing the conversation suddenly. 'I very often think of the +future fate of Belton Castle when papa shall have gone. My cousin has +got his house at Plaistow, and I don't suppose he'd live there.' + +'And where will you go?' he asked. + +As soon as she had spoken, Clara regretted her own imprudence in having +ventured to speak upon her own affairs. She had been well pleased to +hear him talk of his plans, and had been quite resolved not to talk of +her own. But now, by her own speech, she had sot him to make inquiries +as to her future life. She did not at first answer the question; but he +repeated it. 'And where will you live yourself?' + +'I hope I may not have to think of that for some time to come yet.' + +'It is impossible to help thinking of such things.' + +'I can assure you that I haven't thought about it; but I suppose I +shall endeavour to to I don't know what I shall endeavour to do.' + +'Will you come and live at Perivale?' + +'Why here more than anywhere else? + +'In this house I mean.' + +'That would suit me admirably would it not? I'm afraid Mr Possitt would +not find me a good neighbour. To tell the truth, I think that any lady +who lives here alone ought to be older than I am. The Penvalians would +not show to a young woman that sort of respect which they have always +felt for this house.' + +'I didn't mean alone,' said Captain Aylmer. + +Then Clara got up and made some excuse for leaving him, and there was +nothing more said between them nothing, at least, of moment, on that +evening. She had become uneasy when he asked her whether she would like +to live in his house at Perivale. But afterwards, when he suggested +that she was to have some companion with her there, she felt herself +compelled to put an end to the conversation. And yet she knew that this +was always the way, both with him and with herself. He would say things +which would seem to promise that in another minute he would be at her +feet, and then he would go no farther. And she, when she heard those +words though in truth size would have had him at her feet if she could +would draw away, and recede, and forbid him as it were to go on. But +Clara continued to make her comparisons, and knew well that her cousin +Will would have gone on in spite of any such forbiddings. + +On that night, however, when she was alone, she could console herself +with thinking how right she had been. In that front bedroom, the door +of which was opposite to her own, with closed shutters, in the terrible +solemnity of lifeless humanity, was still lying the body of her aunt! +What would she have thought of herself if at such a moment she could +have listened to words of love, and promised herself as a wife while +such an inmate was in the house? She little knew that he, within that +same room, had pledged himself, to her who was now lying there waiting +for her last removal had pledged himself, just seven days since, to +make the offer which, when he was talking to her, she was always half +hoping and half fearing! + +He could have meant nothing else when he told her that he had not +intended to suggest that she should live there alone in that great +house at Perivale. She could not hinder herself from thinking of this, +unfit as was the present moment for any such thoughts. How was it +possible that she should not speculate on the subject, let her +resolutions against any such speculation be ever so strong? She had +confessed to herself that she loved the man, and what else could she +wish but that he also should love her? But there came upon her some +faint suspicion some glimpse of what was almost a dream that he might +possibly in this matter be guided rather by duty than by love. It might +be that he would feel himself constrained to offer his hand to her +constrained by the peculiarity of his position towards her. If so +should she discover that such were his motives there would be no doubt +as to the nature of her answer. + + +CHAPTER X + +SHOWING HOW CAPTAIN AYLMER KEPT HIS PROMISE + +The next day was necessarily very sad. Clara had declared her +determination to follow her aunt to the churchyard, and did so, +together with Martha, the old servant. There were three or four +mourning coaches, as family friends came over from Taunton, one or two +of whom were to be present at the reading of the will. How melancholy +was the occasion, and how well the work was done; how substantial and +yet how solemn was the luncheon, spread after the funeral for the +gentlemen; and how the will was read, without a word of remark, by Mr +Palmer, need hardly be told here. The will contained certain +substantial legacies to servants the amount to that old handmaid Martha +being so great as to produce a fit of fainting, after which the old +handmaid declared that if ever there was, by any chance, an angel of +light upon the earth, it was her late mistress; and yet Martha had had +her troubles with her mistress; and there was a legacy of two hundred +pounds to the gentleman who was called upon to act as co-executor with +Captain Aylmer. Other clause in the will there was none, except that +one substantial clause which bequeathed to her well-beloved nephew, +Frederic Folliott Aylmer, everything of which the testatrix died +possessed. The will had been made at some moment in which Clara's +spirit of independence had offended her aunt, and her name was not +mentioned. That nothing should have been left to Clara was the one +thing that surprised the relatives from Taunton who were present. The +relatives from Taunton, to give them their due, expected nothing for +themselves; but as there had been great doubt as to the proportions in +which the property would be divided between the nephew and adopted +niece, there was aroused a considerable excitement as to the omission +of the name of Miss Amedroz an excitement which was not altogether +unpleasant. When people complain of some cruel shame, which does not +affect themselves personally, the complaint is generally accompanied by +an unexpressed and unconscious feeling of satisfaction. + +On the present occasion, when the will had been read and refolded, +Captain Aylmer, who was standing on the rug near the fire, spoke a few +words. His aunt, he said, had desired to add a codicil to the will, of +the nature of which Mr Palmer was well aware. She had expressed her +intention to leave fifteen hundred pounds to her niece, Miss Amedroz; +but death had come upon her too quickly to enable her to perform her +purpose. Of this intention on the part of Mrs Winterfield, Mr Palmer +was as well aware as himself; and he mentioned the subject now, merely +with the object of saying that, as a matter of course, the legacy to +Miss Amedroz was as good as though the codicil had been completed. On +such a question as that there could arise no question as to legal +right; but he understood that the legal claim of Miss Amedroz, under +such circumstances, was as void as his own. It was therefore no affair +of generosity on his part. Then there was a little buzz of satisfaction +on the part of those present, and the meeting was broken up. + +A certain old Mrs. Folliott, who was cousin to everybody concerned, had +come over from Taunton to see how things were going. She had always +been at variance with Mrs Winterfield, being a woman who loved cards +and supper parties, and who had throughout her life stabled her horses +in stalls very different to those used by the lady of Perivale. Now +this Mrs Folliott was the first to tell Clara of the will. Clara. of +course, was altogether indifferent. She had known for months past that +her aunt had intended to leave nothing to her, and her only hope had +been that she might be left free from any commiseration or remark on +the subject. But Mrs Folliott, with sundry shakings of the head, told +her how her aunt had omitted to name her and then told her also of +Captain Aylmer's generosity. 'We all did think, my dear,' said Mrs +Folliott, 'that she would have done better than that for you, or at any +rate that she would not have left you dependent on him.' Captain +Aylmer's horses were also supposed to be stabled in strictly Low Church +stalls, and were therefore regarded by Mrs Folliott with much dislike. + +'I and my aunt understood each other perfectly,' said Clara. + +'I dare say. But if so, you really were the only person that did +understand her. No doubt what she did was quite right, seeing that she +was a saint; but we sinners would have thought it very wicked to have +made such a will, and then to have trusted to the generosity of another +person after we were dead.' + +'But there is no question of trusting to any one's generosity, Mrs +Folliott.' + +'He need not pay you a shilling, you know, unless he likes it.' + +'And he will not be asked to pay me a shilling.' + +'I don't suppose he will go back after what he has said publicly.' + +'My dear Mrs Folliott,' said Clara earnestly, 'pray do not let us talk +about it. it is quite unnecessary. I never expected any of my aunt's +property, and knew all along that it was to go to Captain Aylmer who, +indeed, was Mrs Winterfield's heir naturally. Mrs Winterfield was not +really my aunt, and I had no claim on her.' + +'But everybody understood that she was to provide for you.' + +'As I was not one of the everybodies myself, it will not signify.' Then +Mrs Folliott retreated, having, as she thought, performed her duty to +Clara, and contented herself henceforth with abusing Mrs Winterfield's +will in her own social circles at Taunton. + +On the evening of that day, when all the visitors were gone and the +house was again quiet, Captain Aylmer thought it expedient to explain +to Clara the nature of his aunt's will, and the manner in which she +would be allowed to inherit under it the amount of money which her aunt +had intended to bequeath to her. When she became impatient and objected +to listen to him, he argued with her, pointing out to her that this was +a matter of business to which it was now absolutely necessary that she +should attend. 'It may be the case,' he said, 'and, indeed, I hope it +will, that no essential difference will be made by it except that it +will gratify you to know how careful she was of your interests in her +last moments. But you are bound in duty to learn your own position; and +I, as her executor, am bound to explain it to you. But perhaps you +would rather discuss it with Mr Palmer.' + +'Oh no save me from that.' + +'You must understand, then, that I shall pay over to you the sum of +fifteen hundred pounds as soon as the will has been proved.' + +'I understand nothing of the kind. I know very well that if I were to +take it, I should be accepting a present from you, and to that I cannot +consent.' + +'But, Clara' + +'It is no good, Captain Aylmer. Though I don't pretend to understand +much about law, I do know that I can have no claim to anything that is +not put into the will; and I won't have what I could not claim. My mind +is quite made up, and I hops I mayn't be annoyed about it. Nothing is +more disagreeable than having to discuss money matters.' + +Perhaps Captain Aylmer thought that the having no money matters to +discuss might be even more disagreeable. 'Well,' he said, 'I can only +ask you to consult any friend whom you can trust upon the matter. Ask +your father, or Mr Belton, and I have no doubt that either of them will +tell you that you are as much entitled to the legacy as though it had +been written in the will.' + +'On such a matter, Captain Aylmer, I don't want to ask anybody. You +can't pay me the money unless I choose to take it, and I certainly +shall not do that.' Upon hearing this he smiled, assuming, as Clara +fancied that he was sometimes wont to do, a look of quiet superiority; +and then, for that time, he allowed the subject to be dropped between +them. + +But Clara knew that she must discuss it at length with her father, and +the fear of that discussion made her unhappy. She had already written +to say that she would return home on the day but one after the funeral, +and had told Captain Aylmer of her purpose. So very prudent a man as he +of course could not think it right that a young lady should remain with +him, in his house, as his visitor; and to her decision on this point he +had made no objection. She now heartily wished that she had named the +day after the funeral, and that she had not been deterred by her +dislike of making a Sunday journey. She dreaded this day, and would +have been very thankful if he would have left her and gone back to +London. But he intended, he said, to remain at Perivale throughout the +next week, and she must endure the day as best she might be able. She +wished that it were possible to ask Mr Possitt to his accustomed +dinner; but she did not dare to make the proposition to the master of +the house. Though Captain Aylmer had declared Mr Possitt to be a very +worthy man, Clara surmised that he would not be anxious to commence +that practice of a Sabbatical dinner so soon after his aunt's decease. +The day, after all, would be but one day, and Clara schooled herself +into a resolution to bear it with good humour. + +Captain Aylmer had made a positive promise to his aunt on her deathbed +that he would ask Clara Amedroz to be his wife, and be had no more idea +of breaking his word than he had of resigning the whole property which +had been left to him. Whether Clara would accept him he had much doubt. +He was a man by no means brilliant, not naturally self-confident, nor +was he, perhaps, to be credited with the possession of high principles +of the finest sort; but he was clever, in the ordinary sense of the +word, knowing his own interest, knowing, too, that that interest +depended on other things besides money; and ha was a just man, +according to the ordinary rules of justice in the world. Not for the +first time, when he was sitting by the bedside of his dying aunt, had +he thought of asking Clara to marry him. Though he had never hitherto +resolved that he would do so though he had never till then brought +himself absolutely to determine that he would take so important a step +he had pondered over it often, and was aware that he was very fond of +Clara. He was, in truth, as much in love with her as it was in his +nature to be in love. He was not a man to break his heart for a girl +nor even to make a strong fight for a wife, as Belton was prepared to +do. If refused once, he might probably ask again having some idea that +a first refusal was not always intended to mean much and he might +possibly make a third attempt, prompted by some further calculation of +the same nature. But it might be doubted whether, on the first, second, +or third occasion, he would throw much passion into his words; and +those who knew him well would hardly expect to see him die of a broken +heart, should he ultimately be unsuccessful. + +When he had first thought of marrying Miss Amedroz he had imagined that +she would have shared with him his aunt's property, and indeed such had +been his belief up to the days of the last illness of Mrs Winterfield. +The match therefore had recommended itself to him as being prudent as +well as pleasant; and though his aunt had never hitherto pressed the +matter upon him, he had understood what her wishes were. When she first +told him, three or four days before her death, that her property was +left altogether to him, and then, on hearing how totally her niece was +without hope of provision from her father, had expressed her desire to +give a sum of money to Clara, she had spoken plainly of her desire but +she had not on that occasion asked him for any promise. But afterwards, +when she knew that she was dying, she had questioned him as to his own +feelings, and he, in his anxiety to gratify her in her last wishes, had +given her the promise which she was so anxious to hear. He made no +difficulty in doing so. It was his own wish as well as hers. In a money +point of view he might no doubt now do better; but then money was not +everything. He was very fond of Clara, and felt that if she would +accept him he would be proud of his wife. She was well born and well +educated, and it was the proper sort of thing for him to do. No doubt +he had some idea, seeing how things had now arranged themselves, that +he would be giving much more than he would get; and perhaps the manner +of his offer might be affected by that consideration; but not on that +account did he feel at all sure that he would be accepted. Clara +Amedroz was a proud girl perhaps too proud. Indeed, it was her fault. +If her pride now interfered with her future fortune in life, it should +be her fault, not his. He would do his duty to her and to his aunt he +would do it perseveringly and kindly; and then, if she refused him, the +fault would not be his. + +Such, I think, was the state of Captain Aylmer's mind when he got up on +the Sunday morning, resolving that he would on that day make good his +promise. And it must be remembered, on his behalf, that he would have +prepared himself for his task with more animation if he had hitherto +received warmer encouragement. He had felt himself to be repulsed in +the little efforts which he had already made to please the lady, and +had no idea whatever as to the true state of her feelings. Had he known +what she knew, he would, I think, have been animated enough, and gone +to his task as happy and thriving a lover as any. But he was a man +somewhat diffident of himself, though sufficiently conscious of the +value of the worldly advantages which he possessed and he was, perhaps, +a little afraid of Clara, giving her credit for an intellect superior +to his own. + + + +He had promised to walk with her on the Saturday after the reading of +the will, intending to take her out through the gardens down to a farm, +now belonging to himself, which lay at the back of the town, and which +was held by an old widow who had been senior in life to her late +landlady; but no such walk had been possible, as it was dark before the +last of the visitors from Taunton had gone. At breakfast on Sunday he +again proposed the walk, offering to take her immediately after +luncheon. 'I suppose you will not go to church?' he said. + +'Not today. I could hardly bring myself to do it today.' + +'I think you are right. I shall go. A man can always do these things +sooner than a lady can. But you will come out afterwards?' To this she +assented, and then she was left alone throughout the morning. The walk +she did not mind. That she and Captain Aylmer should walk together was +all very well. They might probably have done so had Mrs Winterfield +been still alive. It was the long evening afterwards that she dreaded +the long winter evening, in which she would have to sit with him as his +guest, and with him only. She could not pass these hours without +talking to him, and she felt that she could not talk to him naturally +and easily. It would, however, be but for once, and she would bear it. + +They went together down to the house of Mrs Partridge, the tenant, and +made their kindly speeches to the old woman. Mrs Partridge already knew +that Captain Aylmer was to be her landlord, but having hitherto seen +more of Miss Amedroz than of the captain, and having always regarded +her landlady's niece as being connected irrevocably with the property, +she addressed them as though the estate were a joint affair. + +'I shan't be here to trouble you long that I shan't, Miss Clara,' said +the old woman. + +'I am sure Captain Aylmer would be very sorry to lose you,' replied +Clara, speaking loud, and close to the poor woman's ear, for she was +deaf. + +'I never looked to live after she was gone, Miss Clara never. No more I +didn't. Deary deary! And I suppose you'll be living at the big house +now; won't ye?' + +'The big house belongs to Captain Aylmer, Mrs Partridge.' She was +driven to bawl out her words, and by no means liked the task. Then +Captain Aylmer said something, but his speech was altogether lost. + +'Oh it belongs to the captain, do it? They told me that was the way of +the will; but I suppose it's all one.' + +'Yes; it's all one,' said Captain Aylmer, gaily. + +'It's not exactly all one, as you call it,' said Clara, attempting to +laugh, but still shouting at the top of her voice. + +'Ah I don't understand; but I hope you'll both live there together and +I hope you'll be as good to the poor as she that is gone. Well, well; I +didn't ever think that I should be still here, while she is lying under +the stones up in the old church!' + +Captain Aylmer had determined that he would ask his question on the way +back from the farm, and now resolved that he might as well begin with +some allusion to Mrs Partridge's words about the house. The afternoon +was bright and cold, and the lane down to the farmhouse had been dried +by the wind, so that the day was pleasant for walking. 'We might as +well go on to the bridge,' he said, as they left the farmyard. 'I +always think that Perivale church looks better from Creevy bridge than +any other point.' Perivale church stood high in the centre of the town, +on an eminence, and was graced with a spire which was declared by the +Perivalians to be preferable to that of Salisbury in proportion, though +it was acknowledged to be somewhat inferior to it in height. The little +river Creevy, which ran through a portion of the suburbs of the town, +and which, as there seen, was hardly more than a ditch, then sloped +away behind Creevy Grange, as the farm of Mrs Partridge was called, and +was crossed by a small wooden bridge, from which there was a view, not +only of the church, but of all that side of the hill on which Mrs +Winterfield's large brick house stood conspicuously. + +So they walked down to Creevy bridge, and, when there, stood leaning on +the parapet and looking back upon the town. + +'How well I know every house and spot in the place as I see them from +here,' he said. + +'A good many of the houses are your own or will be some day; and +therefore you should know them.' + +'I remember, when I used to be here as a boy fishing, I always thought +Aunt Winterfield's house was the biggest house in the county.' + +'It can't be nearly so large as your father's house in Yorkshire.' + +'No; certainly it is not. Aylmer Park is a large place; but the house +does not stretch itself out so wide as that; nor does it stand on the +side of a hill so as to show out its proportions with so much +ostentation. The coach-house and the stables, and the old brewhouse, +seem to come half way down the hill. And when I was a boy I had much +more respect for my aunt's red-brick house in Perivale than I had for +Aylmer Park.' + +'And now it's your own.' + +'Yes; now it's my own and all my respect for it is gone. I used to +think the Creevy the best river in England for fish; but I wouldn't +give a sixpence now for all the perch I ever caught in it.' + +'Perhaps your taste for perch is gone also.' + +'Yes; and my taste for jam. I never believed in the store-room at +Aylmer Park as I did in my aunt's store-room here.' + +'I don't doubt but what it is full now.' + +'I dare say; but I shall never have the curiosity even to inquire. Ah, +dear I wish I knew what to do about the house.' + +'You won't sell it, I suppose?' + +'Not if I could either live in it, or let it. It would be wrong to let +it stand idle.' + +'But you need not decide quite at once.' + +'That's just what I want to do. I want to decide at once.' + +'Then I'm sure I cannot advise you. It seems to me very unlikely that +you should come and live here by yourself. It isn't like a +country-house exactly.' + +'I shan't live there by myself certainly. You heard what Mrs Partridge +said just now.' + +'What did Mrs Partridge say?' + +'She wanted to know whether it belonged to both of us, and whether it +was not all one. Shall it be all one, Clara?' + +She was leaning over the rail of the bridge as he spoke, with her eyes +fixed on the slowly moving water. When she heard his words she raised +her face and looked full upon him. She was in some sort prepared for +the moment, though it would be untrue to say that she had now expected +it. Unconsciously she had made some resolve that if ever the question +were put to her by him, she would not be taken altogether off her +guard; and now that the question was put to her, she was able to +maintain her composure. Her first feeling was one of triumph as it must +be in such a position to any woman who has already acknowledged to +herself that she loves the man who then asks her to be his wife. She +looked up into Captain Aylmer's face and his eye almost quailed beneath +hers. Even should he be triumphant, he was not perfectly assured that +his triumph would be a success. + +'Shall what be all one?' she asked. + +'Shall it be in your house and my house? Can you tell me that you will +love me and be my wife?' Again she looked at him, and he repeated his +question. 'Clara, can you love me well enough to take me for your +husband?' + +'I can,' she said. Why should she hesitate, and play the coy girl, and +pretend to any doubts in her mind which did not exist there? She did +love him, and had so told herself with much earnestness. To him, while +his words had been doubtful while he had simply played at making love +to her, she had given no hint of the state of her affections. She had +so carried herself before him as to make him doubt whether success +could be possible for him. But now why should she hesitate now? It was +as she had hoped or as she bad hardly dared to hope. He did love her. +'I can,' she said; and then, before he could speak again, she repeated +her words with more emphasis. 'Indeed I can; with all my heart.' + +As regarded herself, she was quite equal to the occasion; but had she +known more of the inner feelings of men and women in general, she would +have been slower to show her own. What is there that any man desires +any man or any woman that does not lose half its value when it is found +to be easy of access and easy of possession? Wine is valued by its +price, not its flavour. Open your doors freely to Jones and Smith, and +Jones and Smith will not care to enter them. Shut your doors obdurately +against the same gentlemen, and they will use all their little +diplomacy to effect an entrance. Captain Aylmer, when he heard the +hearty tone of the girl's answer, already began almost to doubt whether +it was wise on his part to devote the innermost bin of his cellar to +wine that was so cheap. + +Not that he had any idea of receding. Principle, if not love, prevented +that. 'Then the question about the house is decided,' he said, giving +his hand to Clara as he spoke. + +'I don't care a bit about the house now,' she answered. + +'That's unkind.' + +'I am thinking so much more of you of you and of myself. What does an +old house matter?' + +'It's in very good repair,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'You must not laugh at me,' she said; and in truth he was not laughing +at her. 'What I mean is that anything about a house is indifferent to +me now. It is as though I had got all that I want in the world. Is it +wrong of me to say so?' + +'Oh, dear, no not wrong at all. How can it be wrong?' He did not tell +her that he also had got all he wanted; but his lack of enthusiasm in +this respect did not surprise her, or at first even vex her. She had +always known him to be a man careful of his words knowing their value +not speaking with hurried rashness as would her dear cousin Will. And +she doubted whether, after all, such hurried words mean as much as +words which are slower and calmer. After all his heat in love and +consequent disappointment, Will Belton had left her apparently well +contented. His fervour had been short-lived. She loved her cousin +dearly, and was so very glad that his fervour had been short-lived! + +'When you asked me, I could but tell you the truth,' she said, smiling +at him. + +The truth is very well, but he would have liked it better had the truth +come to him by slower degrees. When his aunt had told him to marry +Clara Amedroz, he had been at once reconciled to the order by a feeling +on his own part that the conquest of Clara would not be too facile. She +was a woman of value, not to be snapped up easily or by any one. So he +had thought then; but he began to fancy now that he had been wrong in +that opinion. + +The walk back to the house was not of itself very exciting, though to +Clara it was a short period of unalloyed bliss. No doubt had then come +upon her to cloud her happiness, and she was 'wrapped up in measureless +content.' It was well that they should both be silent at such a moment. +Only yesterday had been buried their dear old friend the friend who had +brought them together, and been so anxious for their future happiness! +And Clara Amedroz was not a young girl, prone to jump out of her shoes +with elation because she had got a lover. She could be steadily happy +without many immediate words about her happiness. When they reached the +house, and were once more together in the drawing-room, she again gave +him her hand, and was the first to speak. And you; are you contented?' +she asked. Who does not know the smile of triumph with which a girl +asks such a question at such a moment as that? + +'Contented? well yes; I think I am,' he said. + +But even those words did not move her to doubt. 'If you are,' she +said,' I am. And now I will leave you till dinner, that you may think +over what you have done.' + +'I had thought about it before, you know,' he replied. Then he stooped +over her and kissed her. It was the first time he had done so; but his +kiss was as cold and proper as though they had been man and wife for +years! But it sufficed for her, and she went to her room as happy as a +queen. + + +CHAPTER XI + +MISS AMEDROZ IS TOO CANDID BY HALE + +Clara, when she left her accepted lover in the drawing-room and went +up to her own chamber, had two hours for consideration before she would +see him again and she had two hours for enjoyment. She was very happy. +She thoroughly believed in the man who was to be her husband, feeling +confident that he possessed those qualities which she thought to be +most necessary for her married happiness. She had quizzed him at times, +pretending to make it matter of accusation against him that his life +was not in truth all that his aunt believed it to be but had it been +more what Mrs Winterfield would have wished, it would have been less to +Clara's taste. She liked his position in the world; she liked the +feeling that he was a man of influence; perhaps she liked to think that +to some extent he was a man of fashion. He was not handsome, but he +looked always like a gentleman. He was well educated, given to reading, +prudent, steady in his habits, a man likely to rise in the world; and +she loved him. I fear the reader by this time may have begun to think +that her love should never have been given to such a man. To this +accusation I will make no plea at present, but I will ask the +complainant whether such men are not always loved. Much is said of the +rashness of women in giving away their hearts wildly; but the charge +when made generally is, I think, an unjust one. I am more often +astonished by the prudence of girls than by their recklessness. A woman +of thirty will often love well and not wisely; but the girls of twenty +seem to me to like propriety of demeanour, decency of outward life, and +a competence. It is, of course, good that it should be so; but if it is +so, they should not also claim a general character for generous and +passionate indiscretion, asserting as their motto that Love shall still +be Lord of All. Clara was more than twenty; but she was not yet so far +advanced in age as to have lost her taste for decency of demeanour and +propriety of life. A Member of Parliament, with a small house near +Eaton Square, with a moderate income, and a liking for committees, who +would write a pamphlet once every two years, and read Dante critically +during the recess, was, to her, the model for a husband. For such a one +she would read his blue books, copy his pamphlets, and learn his +translations by heart. She would be safe in the hands of such a man, +and would know nothing of the miseries which her brother bad +encountered. Her model may not appear, when thus described, to be a +very noble one; but I think it is the model most approved among ladies +of her class in England. + +She made up her mind on various points during those two hours of +solitude. In the first place, she would of course keep her purpose of +returning home on the following day. It was not probable that Captain +Aylmer would ask her to change it; but let him ask ever so much it must +not be changed. She must at once have the pleasure of telling her +father that all his trouble about her would now be over; and then, +there was the consideration that her further sojourn in the house, with +Captain Aylmer as her lover, would hardly be more proper than it would +have been bad he not occupied that position. And what was she to say if +he pressed her as to the time of their marriage? Her aunt's death would +of course be a sufficient reason why it should be delayed for some few +months; and, upon the whole, she thought it would be best to postpone +it till the next session of Parliament should have nearly expired. But +she would be prepared to yield to Captain Aylmer, should he name any +time after Easter. It was clearly his intention to keep up the house in +Perivale as his country residence. She did not like Perivale or the +house, but she would say nothing against such am arrangement. Indeed, +with what face could she do so? She was going to bring nothing to the +common account absolutely nothing but herself! As she thought of this +her love grew warmer, and she hardly knew how sufficiently to testify +to herself her own gratitude and affection. + +She became conscious, as she was preparing herself for dinner, of some +special attention to her toilet. She was more than ordinarily careful +with her hair, and felt herself to be aware of an anxiety to look her +best. She had now been for some time so accustomed to dress herself in +black, that in that respect her aunt's death had made no difference to +her. Deep mourning had ceased from habit to impress her with any +special feeling of funereal solemnity. But something about herself, or +in the room, at last struck her with awe, bidding her remember how +death had of late been busy among those who had been her dearest and +nearest friends; and she sat down, almost frightened at her own +heartlessness, in that she was allowing herself to be happy at such a +time. Her aunt had been carried away to her grave only yesterday, and +her brother's death had occurred under circumstances of peculiar +distress within the year and yet she was happy, triumphant almost lost +in the joy of her own position! She remained for a while in her chair, +with her black dress hanging across her lap, as she argued with herself +as to her own state of mind. Was it a sign of a hard heart within her, +that she could be happy at such a time? Ought the memory of her poor +brother to have such an effect upon her as to make any joy of spirits +impossible to her? Should she at the present moment be so crushed by +her aunt's demise, as to be incapable of congratulating herself upon +her own success? Should she have told him, when he asked her that +question upon the bridge, that there could be no marrying or giving in +marriage between them, no talking on such a subject in days so full of +sorrow as these? I do not know that she quite succeeded in recognizing +it as a truth that sorrow should be allowed to bar out no joy that it +does not bar out of absolute necessity by its own weight, without +reference to conventional ideas; that sorrow should never, under any +circumstances, be nursed into activity, as though it were a thing in +itself divine or praiseworthy. I do not know that she followed out her +arguments till she had taught herself that it is the Love that is +divine the Love which, when outraged by death or other severance, +produces that sorrow which man would control if he were strong enough, +but which he cannot control by reason of the weakness of his humanity. +I doubt whether so much as this made itself plain to her, as she sat +there before her toilet table, with her sombre dress hanging from her +hands on to the ground. But something of the strength of such reasoning +was hers. Knowing herself to be full of joy, she would not struggle to +make herself believe that it behoved her to be unhappy. She told +herself that she was doing what was good for others as well as for +herself what would be very good for her father, and what should be +good, if it might be within her power to make it so, for him who was to +be her husband. The blackness of the cloud of her brother's death would +never altogether pass away from her. It had tended, as she knew well, +to make her serious, grave, and old, in spite of her own efforts to the +contrary. The cloud had been so black with her that it had nearly lost +for her the prize which was now her own. But she told herself that that +blackness was an injury to her, and not a benefit, and that it had now +become a duty to her for his sake, if not for her own to dispel its +shadows rather than encourage them. She would go down to him full of +joy, though not full of mirth, and would confess to him frankly, that +in receiving the assurance of his love, she had received everything +that had seemed to have any value for her in the world. + +Hitherto she had been independent she had specially been careful to +show to him her resolve to be independent of him. Now she would put +aside all that, and let him know that she recognized in him her lord +and master as well as husband. To her father had been left no strength +on which she could lean, and she had been forced therefore to trust to +her own strength. Now she would be dependent on him who was to be her +husband. As heretofore she had rejected his offers of assistance almost +with disdain, so now would she accept them without scruple, looking to +him to be her guide in all things, putting from her that carping spirit +in which she had been wont to judge of his actions, and believing in +him as a wife should believe in her husband. + +Such were the resolutions which Clara made in the first hour of +solitude which came to her after her engagement; and they would have +been wise resolutions but for this flaw that the stronger was +submitting itself to the weaker, the greater to the less, the more +honest to the less honest, that which was nearly true to that which was +in great part false. The theory of man and wife that special theory in +accordance with which the wife is to bend herself in loving submission +before her husband is very beautiful; and would be good altogether if +it could only be arranged that the husband should be the stronger and +the greater of the two. The theory is based upon that hypothesis and +the hypothesis sometimes fails of confirmation. In ordinary marriages +the vessel rights itself, and the stronger and the greater takes the +lead, whether clothed in petticoats, or in coat, waistcoat, and +trousers; but there sometimes comes a terrible shipwreck, when the +woman before marriage has filled herself full with ideas of submission, +and then finds that her golden. headed god has got an iron body and +feet of clay. + +Captain Aylmer, when he was left alone, had also something to think +about; and as there were two hours left for such thought before he +would again meet Clara, and as he had nothing else with which to occupy +himself during those two hours, he again strolled down to the bridge on +which be had made his offer. He strolled down there, thinking that he +was thinking, but hardly giving much mind to his thoughts, which he +allowed to run away with themselves as they listed. Of course he was +going to be married. That was a thing settled. And he was perfectly +satisfied with himself in that he had done nothing in a hurry, and +could accuse himself of no folly even if he had no great cause for +triumph. He had been long thinking that he should like to have Clara +Amedroz for his wife long thinking that he would ask her to marry him; +and having for months indulged such thoughts, he could not take blame +to himself for having made to his aunt that deathbed promise which she +had exacted. At the moment in which she asked him the question he was +himself anxious to do the thing she desired of him. How then could be +have refused her? And, having given the promise, it was a matter of +course with him to fulfil it. He was a man who would have never +respected himself again would have hated himself for ever, had he +failed to keep a promise from which no living being could absolve him. +He had been right therefore to make the promise, and having made it, +had been right to keep it, and to do the thing at once. And Clara was +very good and very wise, and sometimes looked very well, and would +never disgrace him; and as she was in worldly matters to receive much +and give nothing, she would probably be willing to make herself +amenable to any arrangements as to their future mode of life which he +might propose. In respect of this matter he was probably thinking of +lodgings for himself in London during the parliamentary session, while +she remained alone in the big red house upon which his eyes were fixed +at the time. There was much of convenience in all this, which might +perhaps atone to him for the sacrifice which he was undoubtedly making +of himself. Had marriage simply been of itself a thing desirable, he +could doubtless have disposed of himself to better advantage. His +prospects, present fortune, and general position were so favourable, +that he might have dared to lift his expectations, in regard both to +wealth and rank, very high. The Aylmers were a considerable people, and +he, though a younger brother, bad much more than a younger brother's +portion. His seat in Parliament was safe; his position in society was +excellent and secure; he was exactly so placed that marriage with a +fortune was the only thing wanting to put the finishing coping-stone to +his edifice that, and perhaps also the useful glory of having some Lady +Mary or Lady Emily at the top of his table. Lady Emily Aylmer? Yes it +would have sounded better, and there was a certain Lady Emily who might +have suited. Now, as some slight regrets stole upon him gently, he +failed to remember that this Lady Emily had not a shilling in the world. + +Yes; some faint regrets did steal upon him, though he went on telling +himself that he had acted rightly. His stars, which were generally very +good to him, had not perhaps on this occasion been as good as usual. No +doubt he had to a certain degree become encumbered with Clara Amedroz. +Had not the direct and immediate leap with which she had come into his +arms shown him somewhat too plainly that one word of his mouth tending +towards matrimony had been regarded by her as being too valuable to be +lost? The fruit that falls easily from the tree, though it is ever the +best, is never valued by the gardener. Let him have well-nigh broken +his neck in gathering it, unripe and crude, from the small topmost +boughs of the branching tree, and the pippin will be esteemed by him as +invaluable. On that morning, as Captain Aylmer had walked home from +church, he had doubted much what would be Clara's answer to him. Then +the pippin was at the end of the dangerous bough. Now it had fallen to +his feet, and he did not scruple to tell himself that it was his and +always might have been his as a matter of course. Well, the apple had +come of a good kind, and, though there might be specks upon it, though +it might not be fit for any special glory of show or pride of place +among the dessert service, still it should be garnered and used, and no +doubt would be a very good apple for eating. Having so concluded, +Captain Aylmer returned to the house, washed his hands, changed his +boots, and went down to the drawing-room just as dinner was ready. + +She came up to him almost radiant with joy, and put her hand upon his +arm. 'Martha did not know but what you were here,' she said, 'and told +them to put dinner on the table.' + +'I hope I have not kept you waiting.' + +'Oh, dear, no. And what if you did? Ladies never care about things +getting cold. It is gentlemen only who have feelings in such matters as +that.' + +'I don't know that there is much difference; but, however ' Then they +were in the dining-room, and as the servant remained there during +dinner, there was nothing in their conversation worth repeating. After +dinner they still remained down-stairs, seating themselves on the two +sides of the fire, Clara having fully resolved that she would not on +such an evening as this leave Captain Aylmer to drink his glass of port +wine by himself. + +'I suppose I may stay with you, mayn't I?' she said. + +'Oh, dear, yes; I'm sure I'm very much obliged. I'm not at all wedded +to solitude.' Then there was a slight pause. + +'That's lucky,' she said 'as you have made up your mind to be wedded in +another sort of way.' Her voice as she spoke was very low, but there +was a gentle ring of restrained joyousness in it which ought to have +gone at once to his heart and made him supremely blessed for the time. + +'Well yes,' he answered. 'We are in for it now, both of us are we not? +I hope you have no misgivings about it, Clara.' + +'Who? I? I have misgivings! No, indeed. I have no misgivings, Frederic; +no doubts, no scruples, no alloy in my happiness. With me it is all as +I would have it be. Ah; you haven't understood why it has been that I +have seemed to be harsh to you when we have met.' + +'No, I have not,' said he. This was true; but it is true also that it +would have been well that he should be kept in his ignorance. She was +minded, however, to tell him everything, and therefore she went on. + +'I don't know how to tell you; and yet, circumstanced as we are now, it +seems that I ought to tell you everything.' + +'Yes, certainly; I think that,' said Aylmer. He was one of those men +who consider themselves entitled to see, hear, and know every little +detail of a woman's conduct, as a consequence of the circumstances of +his engagement, and who consider themselves shorn of their privilege if +anything be kept back. If any gentleman had said a soft word to Clara +eight years ago, that soft word ought to be repeated to him now. lam +afraid that these particular gentlemen sometimes hear some fibs; and I +often wonder that their own early passages in the tournays of love do +not warn them that it must be so. When James has sat deliciously +through all the moonlit night with his arm round Mary's waist and +afterwards sees Mary led to the altar by John, does it not occur to him +that some John may have also sat with his arm round Anna's waist that +Anna whom he is leading to the altar? These things should not be +inquired into too curiously; but the curiosity of some men on such +matters has no end. For the most part, women like telling only they do +not choose to be pressed beyond their own modes of utterance. 'I should +like to know that I have your full confidence,' said he. + +'You have got my full confidence,' she replied. + +'I mean that you should tell me anything that there is to be told.' + +'It was only this, that I had learned to love you before I thought that +my love would be returned.' + +'Oh was that it?' said Captain Aylmer, in a tone which seemed to imply +something like disappointment. + +'Yes. Fred; that was It. And how could I, under such circumstances, +trust myself to be gentle with you, or to look to you for assistance? +How could I guess then all that I know now?' + +'Of course you couldn't.' + +'And therefore I was driven to be harsh. My aunt used to speak to me +about it.' + +'I don't wonder at that, for she was very anxious that we should be +married.' + +Clara for a moment felt herself to be uncomfortable as she heard these +words, half perceiving that they implied some instigation on the part +of Mrs Winterfield. Could it be that Captain Aylmer's offer had been +made in obedience to a promise? 'Did you know of her anxiety?' she +asked. + +'Well yes; that is to say, I guessed it. It was natural enough that the +same idea should come to her and to me too. Of course, seeing us so +much thrown together, she could not but think of our being married as a +chance upon the cards.' + +'She used to tell me that I was harsh to you abrupt, she called it. But +what could I do? I'll tell you, Fred, how I first found out that I +really cared for you. What I tell you now is of course a secret; and I +should speak of it to no one under any circumstances but those which +unite us two together. My Cousin Will, when he was at Belton, made me +an offer.' + +'He did, did he? You did not tell me that when you were saying all +those fine things in his praise in the railway carriage.' + +Of course I did not. Why should I? I wasn't bound to tell you my +secrets then, sir.' + +'But did he absolutely offer to you?' + +'Is there anything so wonderful in that? But, wonderful or not, he did.' + +'And you refused him?' + +'I refused him certainly.' + +'It wouldn't have been a bad match, if all that you say about his +property is true.' + +'If you come to that, it would have been a very good match; and perhaps +you think I was silly to decline it?' + +'I don't say that.' + +'Papa thought so but, then, I couldn't tell papa the whole truth, as I +can tell it to you now, Captain Aylmer. I couldn't tell dear papa that +my heart was not my own to give to my Cousin Will; nor could I give +Will any such reason. Poor Will! I could only say to him bluntly that I +wouldn't have him.' + +'And you would, if it hadn't been hadn't been for me.' + +'Nay, Fred; there you tax me too far. What might have come of my heart +if you hadn't fallen in my way, who can say? I love Will Belton dearly, +and hope that you may do so' + +'I must see him first.' + +'Of course but, as I was saying, I doubt whether, under any +circumstances, he would have been the man I should have chosen for a +husband. But as it was it was impossible. Now you know it all, and I +think that I have been very frank with you.' + +'Oh! very frank.' He would not take her little jokes, nor understand +her little prettinesses. That he was a man not prone to joking she knew +well, but still it went against the grain with her to find that be was +so very hard in his replies to her attempts. + +It was not easy for Clara to carry on the conversation after this, so +she proposed that they should go upstairs into the drawing-room. Such a +change even as that would throw them into a different way of talking, +and prevent the necessity of any further immediate allusion to Will +Belton. For Clara was aware, though she hardly knew why, that her +frankness to her future husband had hardly been successful, and she +regretted that she had on this occasion mentioned her cousin's name. +They went upstairs and again sat themselves in chairs over the fire; +but for a while conversation did not seem to come to them freely. Clara +felt that it was now Captain Aylmer's turn to begin, and Captain Aylmer +felt that he wished he could read the newspaper. He had nothing in +particular that he desired to say to his lady-love. That morning, as he +was shaving himself, he had something to say that was very particular +as to which he was at that moment so nervous, that he had cut himself +slightly through the trembling of his hand. But that had now been said, +and he was nervous no longer. That had now been said, and the thing +settled so easily, that he wondered at his own nervousness. He did not +know that there was anything that required much further immediate +speech. Clara had thought somewhat of the time which might be proposed +for their marriage, making some little resolves, with which the reader +is already acquainted; but no ideas of this kind presented themselves +to Captain Aylmer. He had asked his cousin to be his wife, thereby +making good his promise to his aunt. There could be no further +necessity for pressing haste. Sufficient for the day is the evil +thereof. + +It is not to be supposed that the thriving lover actually spoke to +himself in such language as that or that he confessed to himself that +Clara Amedroz was an evil to him rather than a blessing. But his +feelings were already so far tending in that direction, that he was by +no means disposed to make any further promise, or to engage himself in +closer connexion with matrimony by the mention of any special day. +Clara, finding that her companion would not talk without encouragement +from her, had to begin again, and asked all those natural questions +about his family, his brother, his sister, his home habits, and the old +house in Yorkshire, the answers to which must be so full of interest to +her. But even on these subjects he was dry, and in-disposed to answer +with the full copiousness of free communication which she desired. And +at last there came a question and an answer a word or two on one side, +and then a word or two on the other, from which Clara got a wound which +was very sore to her. + +'I have always pictured to myself,' she said 'your mother as a woman +who has been very handsome.' + +'She is still a handsome woman, though she is over sixty.' + +'Tall, I suppose?' + +'Yes, tall, and with something of of what shall I say dignity, about +her.' + +'She is not grand, I hope?' + +'I don't know what you call grand.' + +'Not grand in a bad sense I'm sure she is not that. But there are some +ladies who seem to stand so high above the level of ordinary females as +to make us who are ordinary quite afraid of them.' + +'My mother is certainly not ordinary,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'And I am,' said Clara, laughing. 'I wonder what she'll say to me or, +rather, what she will think of me.' Then there was a moment's silence, +after which Clara, still laughing, went on. 'I see, Fred, that you have +not a word of encouragement to give me about your mother.' + +'She is rather particular,' said Captain Aylmer. + +Then Clara drew herself up, and ceased to laugh. She had called herself +ordinary with that half- insincere depreciation of self which is common +to all of us when we speak of our own attributes, but which we by no +means intend that they who hear us shall accept as strictly true, or +shall re-echo as their own approved opinions. But in this instance +Captain Aylmer, though he had not quite done that, had done almost as +bad. + +'Then I suppose I had better keep out of her way,' said Clara, by no +means laughing as she spoke. + +'Of course when we are married you must go and see her.' + +'You do not, at any rate, promise me a very agreeable visit, Fred. But +I dare say I shall survive it. After all, it is you that I am to marry, +and not your mother; and as long as you are not majestic to me, I need +not care for her majesty.' + +'I don't know what you mean by majesty.' + +'You must confess that you speak of her as of something very terrible.' + +'I say that she is particular and so she is. And as my respect for her +opinion is equal to my affection for her person, I hope that you will +make a great effort to gain her esteem.' + +'I never make any efforts of that kind. If esteem doesn't come without +efforts it isn't worth having.' + +'There I disagree with you altogether but I especially disagree with +you as you are speaking about my mother, and about a lady who is to +become your own mother-in-law. I trust that you will make such efforts, +and that you will make them successfully. Lady Aylmer is not a woman +who will give you her heart at once, simply because you have become her +son's wife. She will judge you by your own qualities and will not +scruple to condemn you should she see cause.' + +Then there was a longer silence, and Clara's heart was almost in +rebellion even on this, the first day of her engagement. But she +quelled her high spirit, and said no further word about Lady Aylmer. +Nor did she speak again till she had enabled herself to smile as she +spoke. + +'Well, Fred,' she said, putting her hand upon his arm, 'I'll do my +best, and woman can do no more. And now I'll say good-night, for I must +pack for tomorrow's journey before I go to bed.' Then he kissed her +with a cold, chilling kiss and she left him for the night. + + +CHAPTER XII + +MISS AMEDROZ RETURNS HOME + +Clara was to start by a train leaving Perivale at eight on the +following morning, and therefore there was not much time for +conversation before she went. During the night she had endeavoured so +to school herself as to banish from her breast all feelings of anger +against her lover, and of regret as regarded herself. Probably, as she +told herself, she had made more of what he had said than he had +intended that she should do; and then, was it not natural that he +should think much of his mother, and feel anxious as to the way in +which she might receive his wife. As to that feeling of anger on her +own part, she did get quit of it; but the regret was not to be so +easily removed. It was not only what Captain Aylmer had said about his +mother that clung to her, doing much to quench her joy; but there had +been a coldness in his tone to her throughout the evening which she +recognized almost unconsciously, and which made her heart heavy in +spite of the joy which she repeatedly told herself ought to be her own. +And she also felt though she was not clearly aware that she did so that +his manner towards her had become less affectionate, less like that of +a lover, since the honest tale she had told him of her own early love +for him. She should have been less honest, and more discreet; less +bold, and more like in her words to the ordinary run of women. She had +known this as she was packing last night, and she told herself that it +was so as she was dressing on this her last morning at Perivale. That +frankness of hers had not been successful, and she regretted that she +had not imposed on herself some little reticence or even a little of +that coy pretence of indifference which is so often used by ladies when +they are wooed. She had been boldly honest, and had found her honesty +to be bad policy. She thought, at least, that she had found its policy +to be bad. Whether in truth it may not have been very good have been +the best policy in the world tending to give her the first true +intimation which she had ever yet received of the real character of the +man who was now so much to her that is altogether another question. + +But it was clearly her duty to make the best of her present +circumstances, and she went down-stairs with a smiling face and with +pleasant words on her tongue. When she entered the breakfast-room +Captain Aylmer was there; but Martha was there also, and her pleasant +words were received indifferently in the presence of the servant. When +the old woman was gone, Captain Aylmer assumed a grave face, and began +a serious little speech which he had prepared. But he broke down in the +utterance of it, and was saying things very different from what he had +intended before he had completed it. + +'Clara,' he began, 'what occurred between us yesterday is a source of +great satisfaction to me.' + +'I am glad of that, Frederick,' said she, trying to be a little less +serious than her lover. + +'Of very great satisfaction,' he continued; 'and I cannot but think +that we were justified by the circumstances of our position in +forgetting for a time the sad solemnity of the occasion. When I +remember that it was but the day before yesterday that I followed my +dear old aunt to the grave, I am astonished to think that yesterday I +should have made an offer of marriage.' + +What could be the good of his talking in this strain? Clara, too, had +had her own misgivings on the same subject little qualms of conscience +that had come to her as she remembered her old friend in the silent +watches of the night; but such thoughts were for the silent watches, +and not for open expression in the broad daylight. But he had paused, +and she must say something. + +'One's excuse to oneself is this that she would have wished it so.' + +'Exactly. She would have wished it. Indeed she did wish it, and +therefore ' He paused in what he was saying, and felt himself to be on +difficult ground. Her eye was full upon him, and she waited for a +moment or two as though expecting that he would finish his words. But +as he did not go on, she finished them for him. + +'And therefore you sacrificed your own feelings.' Her heart was +becoming sore, and she was unable to restrain the utterance of her +sarcasm. + +'Just so,' said he; 'or, rather, not exactly that. I don't mean that I +am sacrificed; for, of course, as I have just now said, nothing as +regards myself can be more satisfactory. But yesterday should have been +a solemn day to us; and as it was not' + +'I thought it very solemn.' + +'What I mean is that I find an excuse in remembering that I was doing +what she asked me to do.' + +'What she asked you to do, Fred?' + +'What I had promised, I mean.' + +'What you had promised? I did not hear that before.' These last words +were spoken in a very low voice, but they went direct to Captain +Aylmer's ears. + +'But you have heard me declare,' he said, 'that as regards myself +nothing could be more satisfactory.' + +'Fred,' she said, 'listen to me for a moment. You and I engaged +ourselves to each other yesterday as man and wife.' + +'Of course we did.' + +'Listen to me, dear Fred. In doing that there was nothing in my mind +unbefitting the sadness of the day. Even in death we must think of +life, and if it were well for you and me that we should be together it +would surely have been but a foolish ceremony between us to have +abstained from telling each other that it would be so because my aunt +had died last week. But it may be, and I think it is the case, that the +feelings arising from her death have made us both too precipitate.' + +'I don't understand how that can be.' + +'You have been anxious to keep a promise made to her, without +considering sufficiently whether in doing so you would secure your own +happiness; and I' + +'I don't know about you, but as regards myself I must be considered to +be the best judge.' + +'And I have been too much in a hurry in believing that which I wished +to believe.' + +'What do you mean by all this, Clara?' + +'I mean that our engagement shall be at an end; not necessarily so for +always. But that as an engagement binding us both, it shall for the +present cease to exist. You shall be again free' + +'But I don't choose to be free.' + +'When you think of it you will find it best that it should be so. You +have performed your promise honestly, even though at a sacrifice to +yourself. Luckily for you for both of us, I should say the full truth +has come out; and we can consider quietly what will be best for us to +do, independently of that promise. We will part, therefore, as dear +friends but not as engaged to each other as man and wife.' + +'But we are engaged, and I will not hear of its being broken.' + +'A lady's word, Fred, is always the most potential before marriage; and +you must therefore yield to me in this matter. I am sure your judgment +will approve of my decision when you think of it. There shall be no +engagement between us. I shall consider myself quite free free to do as +I please altogether; and you, of course, will be free also.' + +'If you please, of course it must be so.' + +'I do please, Fred.' + +'And yesterday, then, is to go for nothing.' + +'Not exactly. It cannot go for nothing with me. I told you too many of +my secrets for that. But nothing that was done or said yesterday is to +be held as binding upon either of us.' + +'And you made up your mind to that last night?' + +'It is at any rate made up to that now. Come I shall have to go without +my breakfast if I do not eat it at once. Will you have your tea now, or +wait and take it comfortably when I am gone?' + +Captain Aylmer breakfasted with her, and took her to the station, and +saw her off with all possible courtesy and attention, and then he +walked back by himself to his own great house in Perivale. Not a word +more had been said between him and Clara as to their engagement, and he +recognized it as a fact that he was no longer bound to her as her +future husband. Indeed, he had no power of not recognizing the fact, so +decided had been her language, and so imperious her manner It had been +of no avail that he had said that the engagement should stand. She had +told him that her voice was to be the more potential, and he had felt +that it was so. Well might it not be best for him that it should be so? +He had kept his promise to his aunt, and bad done all that lay in his +power to make Clara Amedroz his wife. If she chose to rebel against her +own good fortune simply because he spoke to her a few words which +seemed to him to be fitting, might it not be well for him to take her +at her word? + +Such were his first thoughts; but as the day wore on with him, +something more generous in his nature came to his aid, and something +also that was akin to real love. Now that she was no longer his own, he +again felt a desire to have her. Now that there would be again +something to be done in winning her, he was again stirred by a man's +desire to do that something. He ought not to have told her of the +promise. He was aware that what he had said on that point had been +dropped by him accidentally, and that Clara's resolution after that had +not been unnatural. He would, therefore, give her another chance, and +resolved before he went to bed that night that he would allow a +fortnight to pass away, and would then write to her, renewing his offer +with all the strongest declarations of affection which he would be +enabled to make. + +Clara on her way home was not well satisfied with herself or with her +position. She had had great joy, during the few hours of joy which had +been hers, in thinking of the comfort which her news would give to her +father. He would be released from all further trouble on her account by +the tidings which she would convey to him by the tidings which she had +intended to convey to him. But now the story which she would have to +tell would by no means be comfortable. She would have to explain to him +that her aunt had left no provision for her, and that would be the +beginning and the end of her story. As for those conversations about +the fifteen hundred pounds of them she would say nothing. When she +reflected on what had taken place between herself and Captain Aylmer +she was more resolved than ever that she would not touch any portion of +that money or of any money that should come from him. Nor would she +tell her father anything of the marriage engagement which had been made +on one day and unmade on the next. Why should she add to his distress +by showing him what good things might have been hers had she only had +the wit to keep them? No; she would tell her father simply of the will, +and then comfort him in his affliction as best she might. + +As regarded her position with Captain Aylmer, the more she thought of +it the more sure she became that everything was over in that quarter. +She had, indeed, told him that such need not necessarily be the case +but this she had done in her desire at the moment to mitigate the +apparent authoritativeness of her own decision, rather than with any +idea of leaving the matter open for further consideration. She was sure +that Captain Aylmer would be glad of a means of escape, and that he +would not again place himself in the jeopardy which the promise exacted +from him by his aunt had made so nearly fatal to him. And for herself, +though she still loved the man so loved him that she lay back in the +corner of her carriage weeping behind her veil as she thought of what +she had lost still she would not take him, though he should again press +his suit upon her with all the ardour at his command. No, indeed. No +man should ever be made to regard her as a burden imposed upon him by +an extorted promise! What! let a man sacrifice himself to a sense of +duty on her behalf! And then she repeated the odious words to herself, +till she came to think that it had fallen from his lips and not from +her own. + +In writing to her father from Perivale, she had merely told him of Mrs +Winterfield's death and of her own intended return. At the Taunton +station she met the well-known old fly and the well-known old driver, +and was taken home in the accustomed manner. As she drew nearer to +Belton the sense of her distress became stronger and stronger, till at +last she almost feared to meet her father. What could she say to him +when he should repeat to her, as be would be sure to do, his +lamentation as to her future poverty? + +On arriving at the house she learned that he was upstairs in his +bedroom. He had been ill, the servant said, and though he was not now +in bed, he had not come down-stairs. So she ran up to his room, and +finding him seated in an old arm-chair by the fire-side, knelt down at +his feet, as she took his hand and asked him as to his health. + +'What has Mrs Winterfield done for you in her will?' These were the +first words he spoke to her. + +'Never mind about wills now, papa. I want you to tell me of yourself.' + +'Nonsense, Clara. Answer my question.' + +'Oh, papa, I wish you would not think so much about money for me.' + +'Not think about it? Why am I not to think about it? What else have I +got to think of? Tell me at once, Clara, what she has done. You ought +to have written to me directly the will was made known.' + +There was no help for her, and the terrible word must be spoken. 'She +has left her property to Captain Aylmer, papa; and I must say that I +think she is right.' + +'You do not mean everything?' + +'She has provided for her servants.' + +'And has made no provision for you?' + +'No, papa.' + +'Do you mean to tell me that she has left you nothing absolutely +nothing?' The old man's manner was altogether altered as he asked the +question; and there came over his face so unusual a look of energy of +the energy of anger that Clara was frightened, and knew not how to +answer him with that tone of authority which she was accustomed to use +when she found it necessary to exercise control over him. 'Do you mean +to say that there is nothing nothing?' And as he repeated the question +he pushed her away from his knees and stood up with an effort, leaning +against the back of his chair. + +'Dear papa, do not let this distress you.' + +'But is it so? Is there in truth nothing?' + +'Nothing, papa. Remember that she was not really my aunt.' + +'Nonsense, child! nonsense! How can you talk such trash to me as that? +And then you tell me not to distress myself! I am to know that you will +be a beggar in a year or two probably in a few months and that is not +to distress me! She has been a wicked woman!' + +'Oh, papa, do not say that.' + +'A wicked woman. A very wicked woman. It is always so with those who +pretend to be more religious than their neighbours. She has been a very +wicked woman, alluring you into her house with false hopes.' + +'No, papa no; I must contradict you. She had given me no grounds for +such hope.' + +'I say she had even though she may not have made a promise. I say she +had. Did not everybody think that you were to have her money?' + +'I don't know what people may have thought. Nobody has had any right to +think about it at all.' + +'That is nonsense, Clara. You know that I expected it that you expected +it yourself.' + +'No no, no!' + +'Clara how can you tell me that?' + +'Papa, I knew that she intended to leave me nothing. She told me so +when I was there in the spring.' + +'She told you so?' + +'Yes, papa. She told me that Frederic Aylmer was to have all her +property. She explained to me everything that she meant to do, and I +thought that she was right.' + +'And why was not I told when you came home?' + +'Dear papa!' + +'Dear papa, indeed. What is the meaning of dear papa? Why have I been +deceived?' + +'What good could I do by telling you? You could not change it.' + +'You have been very undutiful; and as for her, her wickedness and +cruelty shock me shock me. They do, indeed. That she should have known +your position, and had you with her always and then have made such a +will as that! Quite heartless! She must have been quite heartless.' + +Clara now began to find that she must in justice to her aunt's memory +tell her father something more. And yet it would be very difficult to +tell him anything that would not bring greater affliction upon him, and +would not also lead her into deeper trouble. Should it come to pass +that her aunt's intention with reference to the fifteen hundred pounds +was mentioned, she would be subjected to an endless persecution as to +the duty of accepting that money from Captain Aylmer. But her present +feelings would have made her much prefer to beg her bread upon the +roads than accept her late lover's generosity. And then again, how +could she explain to her father Mrs Winterfield's mistake about her own +position without seeming to accuse her father of having robbed her? But +nevertheless she must say something, as Mr Amedroz continued to apply +that epithet of heartless to Mrs Winterfield, going on with it in a low +droning tone, that was more injurious to Clara's ears than the first +full energy of his anger. + +'Heartless quite heartless shockingly heartless shockingly heartless!' + +'The truth is, papa,' Clara said at last, 'that when my aunt told me +about her will, she did not know but what I had some adequate provision +from my own family.' + +'Oh, Clara!' + +'That is the truth, papa for she explained the whole thing to me. I +could not tell her that she was mistaken, and thus ask for her money.' + +'But she knew everything about that poor wretched boy.' And now the +father dropped back into his chair, and buried his face in his hands. + +When he did this Clara again knelt at his feet. She felt that she had +been cruel, and that she had defended her aunt at the cost of her own +father. She had, as it were, thrown in his teeth his own imprudence, +and twitted him with the injuries which he had done to her. 'Papa,' she +said, 'dear papa, do not think about it at all. What is the use? After +all, money is not everything. I care nothing for money. If you will +only agree to banish the subject altogether, we shall be so +comfortable.' + +'How is it to be banished?' + +'At any rate we need not speak of it. Why should we talk on a subject +which is simply uncomfortable, and which we cannot mend?' + +'Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!' And now he swayed himself backwards and +forwards in his chair, bewailing his own condition and hers, and his +past imprudence, while the tears ran down his checks. She still knelt +there at his feet, looking up into his face with loving, beseeching +eyes, praying him to be comforted, and declaring that all would still +be well if he would only forget the subject, or, at any rate, cease to +speak of it. But still he went on wailing, complaining of his lot as a +child complains, and refusing all consolation. 'Yes; I know,' said he, +'it has all been my fault. But how could I help it? What was I to do?' + +'Papa, nobody has said that anything was your fault; nobody has thought +so.' + +'I never spent anything on myself never, never; and yet and yet and yet +!' + +'Look at it with more courage, papa. After all, what harm will it be if +I should have to go out and earn my own bread like any other young +woman? I am not afraid.' + +At last he wept himself into an apathetic tranquillity, as though he +had at present no further power for any of the energy of grief; and she +left him while she went about the house and learned how things had gone +on during her absence. It seemed, from the tidings which the servant +gave her, that he had been ill almost since she had been gone. He had, +at any rate, chosen to take his meals in his own room, and as far as +was remembered, had not once left the house since she had been away. He +had on two or three occasions spoken of Mr Belton, appearing to be +anxious for his coming, and asking questions as to the cattle and the +work that was still going on about the place; and Clara, when she +returned to his room, tried to interest him again about her cousin. But +he had in truth been too much distressed by the ill news as to Mrs +Winterfield's will to be able to rally himself, and the evening that +was spent up in his room was very comfortless to both of them. Clara +had her own sorrows to bear as well as her father's, and could take no +pleasant look out into the world of her own circumstances. She had +gained her lover merely to lose him and had lost him under +circumstances that were very painful to her woman's feeling. Though he +had been for one night betrothed to her as her husband, he had never +loved her. He had asked her to be his wife simply in fulfilment of a +death-bed promise! The more she thought of it the more bitter did the +idea of it become to her. And she could not also but think of her +cousin. Poor Will! He, at any rate, had loved her, though his eagerness +in love had been, as she told herself, but short-lived. As she thought +of him, it seemed but the other day that he had been with her up on the +rock in the park but as she thought of Captain Aylmer, to whom she had +become engaged only yesterday, and from whom she had separated herself +only that morning, she felt that an eternity of time had passed since +she had parted from him. + +On the following day, a dull, dark, melancholy day, towards the end of +November, she went out to saunter about the park, leaving her father +still in his bedroom, and after a while made her way down to the +cottage. She found Mrs Askerton as usual alone in the little +drawing-room, sitting near the window with a book in her hand; but +Clara knew at once that her friend had not been reading that she had +been sitting there looking out upon the clouds, with her mind fixed +upon things far away. The general cheerfulness of this woman had often +been cause of wonder to Clara, who knew how many of her hours were +passed in solitude; but there did occasionally come upon her periods of +melancholy in which she was unable to act up to the settled rule of her +life, and in which she would confess that the days and weeks and months +were too long for her. + +'So you are back,' said Mrs Askerton, as soon as the first greeting was +over. + +'Yes; I am back.' + +'I supposed you would not stay there long after the funeral.' + +'No; what good could I do?' + +'And Captain Aylmer is still there, I suppose?' + +'I left him at Perivale.' + +There was a slight pause, as Mrs Askerton hesitated before she asked +her next question. 'May I be told anything about the will?' she said. + +'The weary will! If you knew how I hated the subject you would not ask +me. But you must not think I hate it because it has given me nothing.' + +'Given you nothing?' + +'Nothing ! But that does not make me hate it. It is the nature of the +subject that is so odious. I have now told you all everything that +there is to be told, though we were to talk for a week. If you are +generous you will not say another word about it.' + +'But I am so sorry.' + +'There that's it. You won't perceive that the expression of such sorrow +is a personal injury to me. I don't want you to be sorry.' + +'How am I to help it?' + +'You need not express it. I don't come pitying you for supposed +troubles. You have plenty of money; but if you were so poor that you +could eat nothing but cold mutton, I shouldn't condole with you as to +the state of your larder. I should pretend to think that poultry and +piecrust were plentiful with you.' + +'No, you wouldn't, dear not if I were as dear to you as you are to me.' + +'Well, then, be sorry; and let there be an end of it. Remember how much +of all this I must of necessity have to go through with poor papa.' + +'Ah, yes; I can believe that.' + +'And he is so far from well. Of course you have not seen him since I +have been gone.' + +'No; we never see him unless he comes up to the gate there.' Then there +was another pause for a moment. And what about Captain Aylmer?' asked +Mrs Askerton. + +'Well what about him?' + +'He is the heir now?' + +'Yes he is the heir.' + +'And that is all?' + +'Yes; that is all. What more should there be? The poor old house at +Perivale will be shut up, I suppose.' + +'I don't care about the old house much, as it is not to be your house.' + +'No it is not to be my house certainly.' + +'There were two ways in which it might have become yours.' + +'Though there were ten ways, none of those ways have come my way,' said +Clara. + +'Of course I know that you are so close that though there were anything +to tell you would not tell it.' + +'I think I would tell you anything that was proper to be told; but now +there is nothing proper or improper.' + +'Was it proper or improper when Mr Belton made an offer to you as I +knew he would do of course; as I told you that he would? Was that so +improper that it could not be told?' + +Clara was aware that the tell-tale colour in her face at once took from +her the possibility of even pretending that the allegation was untrue, +and that in any answer she might give she must acknowledge the fact. 'I +do not think,' she said, 'that it is considered fair to gentlemen to +tell such stories as that.' + +'Then I can only say that the young ladies I have known are generally +very unfair.' + +'But who told you?' + +'Who told me? My maid. Of course she got it from yours. Those things +are always known.' + +'Poor Will!' + +'Poor Will, indeed. He is coming here again, I hear, almost +immediately, and it needn't be "poor Will" unless you like it. But as +for me, I am not going to be an advocate in his favour. I tell you +fairly that I did not like what little I saw of poor Will.' + +'I like him of all things.' + +'You should teach him to be a little more courteous in his demeanour to +ladies; that is all. I will tell you something else, too, about poor +Will but not now. Some other day I will tell you something of your +Cousin Will.' + +Clara did not care to ask any questions as to this something that was +to be told, and therefore took her leave and went away. + + +CHAPTER XIII + +MR WILLIAM BELTON TAKES A WALK IN THE COUNTRY + +Clara Amedroz had made one great mistake about her cousin, Will +Belton, when she came to the conclusion that she might accept his +proffered friendship without any apprehension that the friend would +become a lover; and she made another, equally great, when she convinced +herself that his love had been as short-lived as it had been eager. +Throughout his journey back to Plaistow, he bad thought of nothing else +but his love, and had resolved to persevere, telling himself sometimes +that he might perhaps be successful, and feeling sure at other times +that he would encounter renewed sorrow and permanent disappointment but +equally resolved in either mood that he would persevere. Not to +persevere in pursuit of any desired object let the object be what it +might was, to his thinking, unmanly, weak, and destructive of +self-respect. He would sometimes say of himself, joking with other men, +that if he did not succeed in this or that thing, he could never speak +to himself again. To no man did he talk of his love in such a strain as +this; but there was a woman to whom he spoke of it; and though he could +not joke on such a matter, the purport of what he said showed the same +feeling. To be finally rejected, and to put up with such rejection, +would make him almost contemptible in his own eyes. + +This woman was his sister, Mary Belton. Something has been already said +of this lady, which the reader may perhaps remember. She was a year or +two older than her brother, with whom she always lived, but she had +none of those properties of youth which belonged to him in such +abundance. She was, indeed, a poor cripple, unable to walk beyond the +limits of her own garden, feeble in health, dwarfed in stature, robbed +of all the ordinary enjoyments of life by physical deficiencies, which +made even the task of living a burden to her. To eat was a pain, or at +best a trouble. Sleep would not comfort her in bed, and weariness +during the day made it necessary that the hours passed in bed should be +very long. She was one of those whose lot in life drives us to marvel +at the inequalities of human destiny, and to inquire curiously within +ourselves whether future compensation is to be given. + +It is said of those who are small and crooked-backed in their bodies, +that their minds are equally cross-grained and their tempers as +ungainly as their stature. But no one had ever said this of Mary +Belton. Her friends, indeed, were very few in number; but those who +knew her well loved her as they knew her, and there were three or four +persons in the world who were ready at all times to swear that she was +faultless. It was the great happiness of her life that among those +three or four her own brother was the foremost. Will Belton's love for +his sister amounted almost to veneration, and his devotion to her was +so great, that in all the affairs of his life he was prepared to make +her comfort one of his first considerations. And she, knowing this, had +come to fear that she might be an embargo on his prosperity, and a +stumbling-block in the way of his success. It had occurred to her that +he would have married earlier in life if she had not been, as it were, +in his way; and she had threatened him playfully for she could be +playful that he would leave him if he did not soon bring a mistress to +Plaistow Hall. 'I will go to uncle Robert,' she had said. Now uncle +Robert was the clergyman in Lincolnshire of whom mention has been made, +and he was among those two or three who believed in Mary Belton with an +implicit faith as was also his wife. ' I will go to uncle Robert, Will, +and then you will be driven to get a wife.' + +'If my sister ever leaves my house, whether there be a wife in it or +not,' Will had answered, 'I will never put trust in any woman again.' + +Plaistow Manor-house or Hall was a fine brick mansion, built in the +latter days of Tudor house architecture, with many gables and countless +high chimneys very picturesque to the eye, but not in all respects +comfortable as are the modern houses of the well-to-do squirearchy of +England. And, indeed, it was subject to certain objectionable +characteristics which in some degree justified the scorn which Mr +Amedroz intended to throw upon it when he declared it to be a +farm-house. The gardens belonging to it were large and excellent; but +they did not surround it, and allowed the farm appurtenances to come +close up to it on two sides. The door which should have been the front +door, opening from the largest room in the house, which had been the +hall and which was now the kitchen, led directly into the farm-yard. +From the farther end of this farm-yard a magnificent avenue of elms +stretched across the home pasture down to a hedge which crossed it at +the bottom. That there had been a road through the rows of trees or, in +other words, that there had in truth been an avenue to the house on +that side was, of course, certain. But now there was no vestige of such +road, and the front entrance to Plaistow Hall was by a little path +across the garden from a modern road which had been made to run cruelly +near to the house. Such was Plaistow Hall, and such was its mistress. +Of the master, the reader, I hope, already knows so much as to need no +further description. + +As Belton drove himself home from the railway station late on that +August night, he made up his mind that he would tell his sister all his +story about Clara Amedroz. She had ever wished that he should marry, +and now he had made his attempt. Little as had been her opportunity of +learning the ways of men and women from experience in society, she had +always seemed to him to know exactly what every one should do in every +position of life. And she would be tender with him, giving him comfort +even if she could not give him hope. Moreover Mary might be trusted +with his secret; for Belton felt, as men always do feel, a great +repugnance to have it supposed that his suit to a woman had been +rejected. Women, when they have loved in vain, often almost wish that +their misfortune should be known. They love to talk about their wounds +mystically telling their own tales under feigned names, and extracting +something of a bitter sweetness out of the sadness of their own +romance. But a man, when he has been rejected rejected with a finality +that is acknowledged by himself is unwilling to speak or hear a word +upon the subject, and would willingly wash the episode out from his +heart if it were possible. + +But not on that his first night would he begin to speak of Clara +Amedroz. He would not let his sister believe that his heart was too +full of the subject to allow of his thinking of other matters. Mary was +still up, waiting for him when he arrived, with tea, and cream, and +fruit ready for him. 'Oh, Mary!' he said, 'why are you not in bed? You +know that I would have come to you upstairs.' She excused herself, +smiling, declaring that she could not deny herself the pleasure of +being with him for half an hour on his first return from his travels. +'Of course I want to know what they are like,' she said. + +'He is a nice-looking old man,' said Will 'and she is a nice-looking +young woman.' + +'That is graphic and short, at any rate.' + +'And he is weak and silly, but she is strong and and and' + +'Not silly also, I hope?' + +'Anything but that. I should say she is very clever.' + +'I'm afraid you don't like her, Will.' + +'Yes, I do.' + +'Really?' + +'Yes; really.' + +'And did she take your coming well?' + +'Very well. I think she is much obliged to me for going.' + +'And Mr Amedroz?' + +'He liked my coming too very much.' + +'What after that cold letter? + +'Yes, indeed. I shall explain it all by degrees. I have taken a lease +of all the land, and I'm to go back at Christmas; and as to the old +gentleman he'd have me live there altogether if I would.' + +'Why, Will?' + +'Is it not odd? I'm so glad I didn't make up my mind not to go when I +got that letter. And yet I don't know.' These last words he added +slowly, and in a low voice, and Mary at once knew that everything was +not quite as it ought to be. + +'Is there anything wrong, Will?' + +'No, nothing wrong; that is to say, there is nothing to make me regret +that I went. I think I did some good to them.' + +'It was to do good to them that you went there.' + +'They wanted to have some one near them who could be to them as one of +their own family. He is too old too much worn out to be capable of +managing things; and the people there were, of course, robbing him. I +think I have put a stop to that.' + +'And you are to go again at Christmas?' + +'Yes; they can do without me at my uncle's, and you will be there. I +have taken the land, and already bought some of the stock for it, and +am going to buy more.' + +'I hope you won't lose money, Will.' + +'No not ultimately, that is. I shall get the place in good condition, +and I shall have paid myself when he goes, in that way, if in no other. +Besides, what's a little money? I owe it to them for robbing her of her +inheritance.' + +'You do not rob her, Will.' + +'It is hard upon her, though.' + +'Does she feel it hard?' + +'Whatever may be her feelings on such a matter, she is a woman much too +proud to show them.' + +'I wish I knew whether you liked her or not.' + +'I do like her I love her better than any one in the world; better even +than you, Mary; for I have asked her to be my wife.' + +'Oh, Will!' + +'And she has refused me. Now you know the whole of it the whole history +of what I have done while I have been away.' And he stood up before +her, with his thumbs thrust into the arm-holes of his waistcoat, with +something serious and almost solemn in his gait, in spite of a smile +which played about his mouth. + +'Oh, Will!' + +'I meant to have told you, of course, Mary to have told you everything; +but I did not mean to tell it to-night; only it has somehow fallen from +me. Out of the full heart the mouth speaks, they say.' + +'I never can like her if she refuses your love.' + +'Why not? That is unlike you, Mary. Why should she be bound to love me +because I love her?' + +'Is there any one else, Will?' + +'How can I tell? I did not ask her. I would not have asked her for the +world, though I would have given the world to know.' + +'And she is so very beautiful?' + +'Beautiful! It isn't that so much though she is beautiful. But but I +can't tell you why but she is the only girl that I ever saw who would +suit me for a wife. Oh, dear!' + +'My own Will!' + +'But I'm not going to keep you up all night, Mary. And I'll tell you +something else; I'm not going to break my heart for love. Arid I'll +tell you something else again; I'm not going to give it up yet. I +believe I've been a fool. Indeed, I know I've been a fool. I went about +it just as if I were buying a horse, and had told the seller that that +was my price he might take it or leave it. What right had I to suppose +that any girl was to be had in that way; much less such a girl as Clara +Amedroz?' + +'It would have been a great match for her.' + +'I'm not so sure of that, Mary. Her education has been different from +mine, and it may well be that she should marry above me. But I swear I +will not speak another word to you to-night. Tomorrow, if you're well +enough, I'll talk to you all day.' Soon after that he did get her to go +up to her room, though, of course, he broke that oath of his as to not +speaking another word. After that he walked out by moonlight round the +house, wandering about the garden and farm-yard, and down through the +avenue, having in his own mind some pretence of the watchfulness of +ownership, but thinking little of his property and much of his love. +Here was a thing that he desired with all his heart, but it seemed to +be out of his reach absolutely out of his reach. He was sick and weary +with a feeling of longing sick with that covetousness wherewith Ahab +coveted the vineyard of Naboth. What was the world to him if he could +not have this thing on which he had set his heart? He had told his +sister that he would not break his heart; and so much, he did not +doubt, would be true. A man or woman with a broken heart was in his +estimation a man or woman who should die of love; and he did not look +for such a fate as that. But he experienced the palpable misery of a +craving emptiness within his breast, and did believe of himself that he +never could again be in comfort unless he could succeed with Clara +Amedroz. He stood leaning against one of the trees, striking his hands +together, and angry with himself at the weakness which had reduced him +to such a state. What could any man be worth who was so little master +of himself as he had now become? + +After awhile he made his way back through the farm-yard, and in at the +kitchen door, which he locked and bolted; and then, throwing himself +down into a wooden armchair which always stood there, in the corner of +the huge hearth, he took a short pipe from the mantelpiece, filled it +with tobacco, and lighting it almost unconsciously, began to smoke with +vehemence. + +Plaistow Hall was already odious to him, and he longed to be back at +Belton, which he had left only that morning. Yes, on that very morning +she had brought to him his coffee, looking sweetly into his face so +sweetly as she ministered to him. And he might then well have said one +word more in pleading his suit, if he had not been too awkward to know +what that word should be. And was it not his own awkwardness that had +brought him to this state of misery? What right had he to suppose that +any girl should fall in love with such a one as he at first sight +without a moment's notice to her own heart? And then, when he had her +there, almost in his arms, why had he let her go without kissing her? +It seemed to him now that if he might have once kissed her, even that +would have been a comfort to him in his present affliction. 'D tion!' +he said at last, as he jumped to his feet and kicked the chair on one +side, and threw the pipe among the ashes. I trust it will be understood +that he addressed himself, and not his lady-love, in this uncivil way +'D tion!' Then when the chair had been well kicked out of his way, he +took himself up to bed. I wonder whether Clara's heart would have been +hardened or softened towards him had she heard the oath, and understood +all the thoughts and motives which had produced it. + +On the next morning poor Mary Belton was too ill to come down-stairs; +and as her brother spent his whole day out upon the farm, remaining +among reapers and wheat stacks till nine o'clock in the evening, +nothing was said about Clara on that day. Then there came a Sunday, and +it was a matter of course that the subject of which they both were +thinking should be discussed. Will went to church, and, as was their +custom on Sundays, they dined immediately on his return. Then, as the +afternoon was very warm, he took her out to a favourite seat she had in +the garden, and it became impossible that they could longer abstain. + +'And you really mean to go again at Christmas?' she asked. + +'Certainly I shall I promised.' + +'Then I am sure you will.' + +'And I must go from time to time because of the land I have taken. +Indeed there seems to be an understanding that I am to manage the +property for Mr Amedroz.' + +'And does she wish you to go?' + +'Yes she says so.' + +'Girls, I believe, think sometimes that men are indifferent in their +love. They suppose that a man can forget it at once when he is not +accepted, and that things can go on just as before.' + +'I suppose she thinks so of me,' said Belton wofully. + +'She must either think that, or else be willing to give herself the +chance of learning to like you better.' + +'There's nothing of that, I'm sure. She's as true as steel.' + +'But she would hardly want you to go there unless she thought you might +overcome either your love or her indifference. She would not wish you +to be there that you might be miserable.' + +'Before I had asked her to be my wife I had promised to be her brother. +And so I will, if she should ever want a brother. I am not going to +desert her because she will not do what I want her to do, or be what I +want her to be. She understands that. There is to be no quarrel between +us.' + +'But she would be heartless if she were to encourage you to be with her +simply for the assistance you may give her, knowing at the same time +that you could not be happy in her presence.' + +'She is not heartless.' + +'Then she must suppose that you are.' + +'I dare say she doesn't think that I care much about it. When I told +her, I did it all of a heap, you see; and I fancy she thought I was +just mad at the time.' + +'And did you speak about it again?' + +'No; not a word. I shouldn't wonder if she hadn't forgotten it before I +went away.' + +'That would be impossible.' + +'You wouldn't say so if you knew how it was done. It was all over in +half an hour; and she had given me such an answer that I thought I had +no right to say anything more about it. The morning when I left her she +did seem to be kinder.' + +'I wish I knew whether she cares for any one else.' + +'Ah! I so often think of that. But I couldn't ask her, you know. I had +no right to pry into her secrets. When I came away, she got up to see +me off; and I almost felt tempted to carry her into the gig and drive +her off.' + +'I don't think that would have done, Will.' + +'I don't suppose anything will do. We all know what happens to the +child who cries for the top brick of the chimney. The child has to do +without it. The child goes to bed and forgets it; but I go to bed and +can't forget it.' + +'My poor Will!' + +Then he got up and shook himself, and stalked about the garden always +keeping within a few yards of his sister's chair and carried on a +strong battle within his breast, struggling to get the better of the +weakness which his love produced, though resolved that the love itself +should be maintained. + +'I wish it wasn't Sunday,' he said at last, 'because then I could go +and do something. If I thought that no one would see me, I'd fill a +dung-cart or two, even though it is Sunday. I'll tell you what I'll go +and take a walk as far as Denvir Sluice; and I'll be hack to tea. You +won't mind?' + +'Denvir Sluice is eight miles off.' + +'Exactly I'll be there and back in something over three hours.' + +'But, Will there's a broiling sun.' + +'It will do me good. Anything that will take something out of me is +what I want. I know I ought to stay and read to you; but I couldn't do +it. I've got the fidgets inside, if you know what that means. To have +the big hay-rick on fire, or something of that sort, is what would do +me most good.' + +Then he started, and did walk to Denvir Sluice and back in three hours. +The road from Plaistow Hall to Denvir Sluice was not in itself +interesting. It ran through a perfectly flat country, without a tree. +For the greater part of the way it was constructed on the top of a +great bank by the side of a broad dike, and for five miles its course +was straight as a line. A country walk less picturesque could hardly be +found in England. The road, too, was very dusty, and the sun was hot +above Belton's head as he walked. But nevertheless, he persevered, +going on till he struck his stick against the waterfall which was +called Denvir Sluice, and then returned not once slackening his pace, +and doing the whole distance at a rate somewhat above five miles an +hour. They used to say in the nursery that cold pudding is good to +settle a man's love; but the receipt which Belton tried was a walk of +sixteen miles, along a dusty road, after dinner, in the middle of an +August day. + +I think it did him some good. When he got back he took a long draught +of home-brewed beer, and then went upstairs to dress himself. + +'What a state you are in,' Mary said to him when he showed himself for +a moment in the sitting. room. + +'I did it from milestone to milestone in eleven minutes, backwards and +forwards, all along the five- mile reach.' + +Then Mary knew from his answer that the exercise had been of service to +him, perceiving that he had been able to take an interest in his own +prowess as a walker. + +'I only hope you won't have a fever,' she said. + +'The people who stand still are they who get fevers,' he answered. +'Hard work never does harm to any one. If John Bowden would walk his +five miles an hour on a Sunday afternoon he wouldn't have the gout so +often.' + +John Bowden was a neighbour in the next parish, and Mary was delighted +to find that her brother could take a pride in his performance. + +By degrees Miss Belton began to know with some accuracy the way in +which Will had managed his affairs at Belton Castle, and was enabled to +give him salutary advice. + +'You see, Will,' she said, 'ladies are different from men in this, that +they cannot allow themselves to be in love so suddenly.' + +'I don't see how a person is to help it. It isn't like jumping into a +river, which a person can do or not, just as he pleases.' + +'But I fancy it is something like jumping into a river, and that a +person can help it. What the person can't help is being in when the +plunge has once been made.' + +'No, by George! There's no getting out of that river.' + +'And ladies don't take the plunge till they've had time to think what +may come after it. Perhaps you were a little too sudden with our Cousin +Clara?' + +'Of course I was. Of course I was a fool, and a brute too.' + +'I know you were not a brute, and I don't think you were a fool; but +yet you were too sudden. You see a lady cannot always make up her mind +to love a man, merely because she is asked all in a moment. She should +have a little time to think about it before she is called upon for an +answer.' + +'And I didn't give her two minutes.' + +'You never do give two minutes to anyone do you, Will? But you'll be +back there at Christmas, and then she will have had time to turn it +over in her mind.' + +'And you think that I may have a chance?' + +'Certainly you may have a chance.' + +'Although she was so sure about it?' + +'She spoke of her own mind and her own heart as she knew them then. But +it depends chiefly on this, Will whether there is any one else. For +anything we know, she may be engaged now.' + +'Of course she may.' Then Belton speculated on the extreme probability +of such a contingency; arguing within his own heart that of course +every unmarried man who might see Clara would want to marry her, and +that there could not but be some one whom even she would be able to +love. + +When he had been home about a fortnight, there came a letter to him +from Clara, which was a great treasure to him. In truth, it simply told +him of the completion of the cattle-shed, of her father's health, and +of the milk which the little cow gave; but she signed herself his +affectionate cousin, and the letter was very gratifying to him. There +were two lines of a postscript, which could not but flatter him: 'Papa +is so anxious for Christmas, that you may be here again and so, indeed, +am I also.' Of course it will be understood that this was written +before Clara's visit to Perivale, and before Mrs Winterfield's death. +Indeed, much happened in Clara's history between the writing of that +letter and Will Belton's winter visit to the Castle. + +But Christmas came at last, all too slowly for Will and he started on +his journey. On this occasion he arranged to stay a week in London, +having a lawyer there whom he desired to see; and thinking, perhaps, +that a short time spent among the theatres might assist him in his love +troubles. + + +CHAPTER XIV + +MR WILLIAM BELTON TAKES A WALK IN LONDON + +At the time of my story there was a certain Mr Green, a worthy +attorney, who held chambers in Stone Buildings, Lincoln's Inn, much to +the profit of himself and family and to the profit and comfort also of +a numerous body of clients a man much respected in the neighbourhood of +Chancery Lane, and beloved, I do not doubt, in the neighbourhood of +Bushey, in which delightfully rural parish he was possessed of a +genteel villa and ornamental garden. With Mr Green's private residence +we shall, I believe, have no further concern; but to him at his +chambers in Stone Buildings I must now introduce the reader of these +memoirs. He was a man not yet forty years of age, with still much of +the salt of youth about him, a pleasant companion as well as a good +lawyer, and one who knew men and things in London, as it is given to +pleasant clever fellows, such as Joseph Green, to know them. Now Mr +Green and his father before him had been the legal advisers of the +Amedroz family, and our Mr Joseph Green had had but a bad time of it +with Charles Amedroz in the last years of that unfortunate young man's +life. But lawyers endure these troubles, submitting themselves to the +extravagances, embarrassments, and even villainy of the bad subjects +among their clients' families, with a good-humoured patience that is +truly wonderful. That, however, was all over now as regarded Mr Green +and the Amedrozes, and he had nothing further to do but to save for the +father what relics of the property he might secure. And he was also +legal adviser to our friend Will Belton, there having been some old +family connexion among them, and had often endeavoured to impress upon +his old client at Belton Castle his own strong conviction that the heir +was a generous fellow, who might be trusted in everything. But this had +been taken amiss by the old squire, who, indeed, was too much disposed +to take all things amiss and to suspect everybody. 'I understand,' he +had said to his daughter. 'I know all about it. Belton and Mr Green +have been dear friends always. I can't trust my own lawyer any longer.' +In all which the old squire showed much ingratitude. It will, however, +be understood that these suspicions were rife before the time of +Belton's visit to the family estate. + +Some four or five days before Christmas there came a visitor to Mr +Green with whom the reader is acquainted, and who was no less a man +than the Member for Perivale. Captain Aylmer, when Clara parted from +him on the morning of her return to Belton Castle, had resolved that he +would repeat his offer of marriage by letter. A month had passed by +since then, and he had not as yet repeated it. But his intention was +not altered. He was a deliberate man, who did not do such things quite +as quickly as his rival, and who upon this occasion had thought it +prudent to turn over more than once in his mind all that he proposed to +do. Nor had he as yet taken any definite steps as to that fifteen +hundred pounds which he had promised to Clara in her aunt's name, and +which Clara had been, and was, so unwilling to receive. He had now +actually paid it over, having purchased government stock in Clara's +name for the amount, and had called upon Mr Green, in order that that +gentleman, as Clara's lawyer, might make the necessary communication to +her. + +'I suppose there's nothing further to be done?' asked Captain Aylmer. + +'Nothing further by me,' said the lawyer. 'Of course I shall write to +her, and explain that she must make arrangements as to the interest. I +am very glad that her aunt thought of her in her last moments.' + +'Mrs Winterfield would have provided for her before, had she known that +everything had been swallowed up by that unfortunate young man.' + +'All's well that ends well. Fifteen hundred pounds are better than +nothing.' + +'Is it not enough?' said the captain, blushing. + +'It isn't for me to have an opinion about that, Captain Aylmer. It +depends on the nature of her claim; and that again depends on the +relative position of the aunt and niece when they were alive together.' + +'You are aware that Miss Amedroz was not Mrs Winterfield's niece?' + +'Do not think for a moment that I am criticizing the amount of the +legacy. I am very glad of it, as, without it, there was literally no +provision no provision at all.' + +'You will write to herself?' + +'Oh yes, certainly to herself. She is a better man of business than her +father and then this is her own, to do as she likes with it.' + +'She can't refuse it, I suppose?' + +'Refuse it!' + +'Even though she did not wish to take it, it would be legally her +property, just as though it had been really left by the will?' + +'Well; I don't know. I dare say you could have resisted the payment. +But that has been made now, and there seems to be an end of it.' + +At this moment a clerk entered the room and handed a card to his +employer. 'Here's the heir himself,' said Mr Green. + +'What heir? + +'Will Belton the heir of the property which Mr Amedroz holds.' Captain +Aylmer had soon explained that he was not personally acquainted with Mr +William Belton; but, having heard much about him, declared himself +anxious to make the acquaintance. Our friend Will, therefore, was +ushered into the room, and the two rivals for Clara's favour were +introduced to each other. Each had heard much of the other, and each +had heard of the other from the same person. But Captain Aylmer knew +much more as to Belton than Belton knew in respect to him. Aylmer knew +that Belton had proposed to Clara and had been rejected; and he knew +also that Belton was now again going down to Somersetshire. + +'You are to spend your Christmas, I believe, with our friends at Belton +Castle?' said the captain. + +'Yes and am now on my way there. I believe you know them also +intimately.' Then there was some explanation as to the Winterfield +connexion, a few remarks as to the precarious state of the old squire's +health, a message or two from Captain Aylmer, which of course were of +no importance, and the captain took his leave. + +Then Green and Briton became very comfortably intimate in their +conversation, calling each other Will and Joe for they were old and +close friends. And they discussed matters in that cozy tone of +confidential intercourse which is so directly at variance with the +tones used by men when they ordinarily talk of business. 'He has +brought me good news for your friend, Miss Amedroz,' said the lawyer. + +'What good news?' + +'That aunt of hers left her fifteen hundred pounds, after all. Or +rather, she did not leave it, but desired on her death-bed that it +might be given.' + +'That's the same thing, I suppose?' + +'Oh quite that is to say, it's the same thing if the person who has to +hand over the money does not dispute the legacy. But it shows how the +old lady's conscience pricked her at last. And after all it was a +shabby sum, and should have been three times as much.' + +'Fifteen hundred pounds! And that is all she will have when her father +dies 7' + +'Every farthing, Will. You'll take all the rest.' + +'I wish she wasn't going to have that.' + +'Why? Why on earth should you of all men grudge her such a moderate +maintenance, seeing that you have not got to pay it?' + +'It isn't a maintenance. How could it be a maintenance for such as her? +What sort of maintenance would it be?' + +'Much better than nothing. And so you would feel if she were your +daughter.' + +'She shall be my daughter, or my sister, or whatever you like to call +her. You don't think that I'll take the whole estate and leave her to +starve on the interest of fifteen hundred pounds a year!' + +'You'd better make her your wife at once, Will.' + +Will Belton blushed as he answered, 'That, perhaps, would be easier +said than done. That is not in my power even if I should wish it. But +the other is in my power.' + +'Will, take my advice, and don't make any romantic promises when you +are down at Belton. You'll be sure to regret them if you do. And you +should remember that in truth Miss Amedroz has no greater claim on you +than any other lady in the land.' + +'Isn't she my cousin?' + +'Well yes. She is your cousin, but a distant one only; and I'm not +aware that cousinship gives any claim.' + +'Who is she to have a claim on? I'm the nearest she has got. Besides, +am not I going to take all the property which ought to be hers?' + +'That's just it. There's no such ought in the case. The property is as +much your own as this poker is mine. That's exactly the mistake I want +you to guard against. If you liked her, and chose to marry her, that +would be all very well; presuming that you don't want to get money in +marriage.' + +'I hate the idea of marrying for money.' + +'All right. Then marry Miss Amedroz if you please. But don't make any +rash undertakings to be her father, or her brother, or her uncle, or +her aunt. Such romance always leads a man into trouble.' + +'But I've done it already.' + +'What do you mean?' + +'I've told her that I would be her brother, and that as long as I had a +shilling she should never want sixpence. And I mean it. And as for what +you say about romance and repenting it, that simply comes from your +being a lawyer.' + +'Thank ye, Will.' + +'If one goes to a chemist, of course one gets physic, and has to put up +with the bad smells.' + +'Thank you again.' + +'But the chemist may be a very good sort of fellow at home all the +same, and have a cupboard full of sweetmeats and a garden full of +flowers. However, the thing is done as far as I am concerned, and I can +almost find it in my heart to be sorry that Clara has got this driblet +of money. Fifteen hundred pounds I It would keep her out of the +workhouse, and that is about all.' + +'If you knew how many ladies in her position would think that the +heavens had rained wealth upon them if some one would give them fifteen +hundred pounds!' + +'Very well. At any rate I won't take it away from her. And now I want +you to tell me something else. Do you remember a fellow we used to know +named Berdmore?' + +'Philip Berdmore?' + +'He may have been Philip, or Daniel, or Jeremiah, for anything I know. +But the man I mean was very much given to taking his liquor freely.' + +'That was Jack Berdmore, Philip's brother. Oh yes, I remember him. He's +dead now. He drank himself to death at last, out in India.' + +'He was in the army?' + +'Yes and what a pleasant fellow he was at times! I see Phil constantly, +and Phil's wife, but they never speak of Jack.' + +'He got married, didn't he, after we used to see him?' + +Oh yes he and Phil married sisters. It was a sad affair, that.' + +'I remember being with him and her and the sister too, after they were +engaged, and he got so drunk that we were obliged to take him away. +There was a large party of us at Richmond, but I don't think you were +there.' + +'But I heard of it' + +'And she was a Miss Vigo?' + +'Exactly. I see the younger sister constantly. Phil isn't very rich, +and he's got a lot of children but he's very happy.' + +'What became of the other sister? + +'Of Jack's wife?' + +'Yes. What became of her?' + +'I haven't an idea. Something bad, I suppose, as they never speak of +her.' + +'And how long is he dead?' + +'He died about three years since. I only knew it from Phil's telling me +that he was in mourning for him. Then he did speak of him for a moment +or two, and I came to know that he had carried on to the end in the +same way. If a fellow takes to drink in this country, he'll never get +cured in India.' + +'I suppose not.' + +'Never.' + +'And now I want to find out something about his widow.' + +'And why?' + +'Ah I'm not sure that I can tell you why. Indeed I'm sure that I +cannot. But still you might be able to assist me.' + +'There were heaps of people who used to know the Vigos,' said the +lawyer. + +'No end of people though I couldn't for the life of me say who any of +them were.' + +'They used to come out in London with an aunt, but nobody knew much +about her. I fancy they had neither father nor mother.' + +'They were very pretty.' + +'And how well they danced. I don't think I ever knew a girl who danced +so pleasantly giving herself no airs, you know as Mary Vigo.' + +'Her name was Mary,' said Belton, remembering that Mrs Askerton's name +was also Mary. + +'Jack Berdmore married Mary.' + +'Well now, Joe, you must find out for me what became of her. Was she +with her husband when he died?' + +'Nobody was with him. Phil told me so. No one, that is, but a young +lieutenant and his own servant. It was very sad. He had D.T., and all +that sort of thing.' + +'And where was she?' + +'At Jericho, for anything that I know.' + +'Will you find out?' Then Mr Joseph Green thought for a moment of his +capabilities in that line, and having made an engagement to dine with +his friend at his club on the evening before Will left London, said at +last that he thought he could find out through certain mutual friends +who had known the Berdmores in the old days. 'But the fact is,' said +the lawyer, 'that the world is so good- natured instead of being +ill-natured, as people say that it always forgets those who want to be +forgotten.' + +We must now go back for a few moments to Captain Aylmer and his +affairs. Having given a full month to the consideration of his position +as regarded Miss Amedroz, he made up his mind to two things. In the +first place, he would at once pay over to her the money which was to be +hers as her aunt's legacy, and then he would renew his offer. To that +latter determination he was guided by mixed motives by motives which, +when joined together, rarely fail to be operative. His conscience told +him that he ought to do so and then the fact of her having, as it were, +taken herself away from him, made him again wish to possess her. And +there was another cause which, perhaps, operated in the same direction. +He had consulted his mother, and she had strongly advised him to have +nothing further to do with Miss Amedroz. Lady Aylmer abused her dead +sister heartily for having interfered in the matter, and endeavoured to +prove to her son that he was released from his promise by having in +fact performed it. But on this point his conscience interfered backed +by his wishes and he made his resolve as has been above stated. On +leaving Mr Green's chambers he went to his own lodgings, and wrote his +letter as follows: + + + +'Mount Street, December, 186 + +Dearest Clara, + +When you parted from me at Perivale you said certain things about our +engagement which I have come to understand better since then, than I +did at the time. It escaped from me that my dear aunt and I had had +some conversation about you, and that I had told her what was my +intention. Something was said about a promise, and I think it was that +word which made you unhappy. At such a time as that when I and my aunt +were talking together, and when she was, as she well knew, on her +deathbed, things will be said which would not be thought of in other +circumstances. I can only assure you now, that the promise I gave her +was a promise to do that which I had previously resolved upon doing. If +you can believe what I say on this head, that ought to be sufficient to +remove the feeling which induced you to break our engagement. + +I now write to renew my offer to you, and to assure you that I do so +with my whole heart. You will forgive me if I tell you that I cannot +fail to remember, and always to bear in my mind, the sweet assurances +which you gave me of your regard for myself. As I do not know that +anything has occurred to alter your opinion of me, I write this letter +in strong hope that it may be successful. I believe that your fear was +in respect to my affection for you, not as to yours for me. If this was +so, I can assure you that there is no necessity for such fear. + +I need not tell you that I shall expect your answer with great anxiety. + +Yours most affectionately, + +F. F. AYLMER. + +P.S. I have today caused to be bought in your name Bank Stock to the +amount of fifteen hundred pounds, the amount of the legacy coming to +you from my aunt.' + + + +This letter, and that from Mr Green respecting the money, both reached +Clara on the same morning. Now, having learned so much as to the +position of affairs at Belton Castle, we may return to Will and his +dinner engagement with Mr Joseph Green. + +'And what have you heard about Mrs Berdmore?' Belton asked, almost as +soon as the two men wore together. + +'I wish I knew why you want to know.' + +'I don't want to do anybody any harm.' + +'Do you want to do anybody any good?' + +'Any good! I can't say that I want to do any particular good. The truth +is, I think I know where she is, and that she is living under a false +name.' + +'Then you know more of her than I do.' + +'I don't know anything. I'm only in doubt. But as the lady I mean lives +near to friends of mine, I should like to know.' + +'That you may expose her?' + +'No by no means. But I hate the idea of deceit. The truth is, that any +one living anywhere under a false name should be exposed or should be +made to assume their right name.' + +'I find that Mrs Berdmore left her husband some years before he died. +There was nothing in that to create wonder, for he was a man with whom +a woman could hardly continue to live. But I fear she left him under +protection that was injurious to her character. + +'And how long ago is that?' + +'I do not know. Some years before his death.' + +'And how long ago did he die?' + +'About three years since. My informant tells me that he believes she +has since married. Now you know all that I know.' And Belton also knew +that Mrs Askerton of the cottage was the Miss Vigo with whom he had +been acquainted in earlier years. + +After that they dined comfortably, and nothing passed between them +which need be recorded as essential to our story till the time came for +them to part. Then, when they were both standing at the club door, the +lawyer said a word or two which is essential. 'So you're off tomorrow?' +said he. + +'Yes; I shall go down by the express.' + +'I wish you a pleasant journey. By the by, I ought to tell you that you +won't have any trouble in being either father or mother, or uncle or +aunt to Miss Amedroz.' + +'Why not?' + +'I suppose it's no secret.' + +'What's no secret? + +'She's going to be married to Captain Aylmer.' + +Then Will Belton started so violently, and assumed on a sudden so +manifest a look of anger, that his tale was at once told to Mr Green. +'Who says so?' he asked. 'I don't believe it.' + +'I'm afraid it's true all the same, Will.' + +'Who says it?' + +'Captain Aylmer was with me today, and he told me. He ought to be good +authority on such a subject.' + +'He told you that he was going to marry Clara Amedroz?' + +'Yes, indeed.' + +'And what made him come to you, to tell you?' + +'There was a question about some money which he had paid to her, and +which, under existing circumstances, he thought it as well that he +should not pay. Matters of that kind are often necessarily told to +lawyers. But I should not have told it to you, Will, if I had not +thought that it was good news.' + +'It is not good news,' said Belton moodily. + +'At any rate, old fellow, my telling it will do no harm. You must have +learned it soon.' And he put his hand kindly almost tenderly, on the +other's arm. But Belton moved himself away angrily. The wound had been +so lately inflicted that he could not as yet forgive the hand that had +seemed to strike him. + +'I'm sorry that it should be so bad with you, Will.' + +'What do you mean by bad? It is not bad with me. it is very well with +me. Keep your pity for those who want it.' Then he walked off by +himself across the broad street before the club door, leaving his +friend without a word of farewell, and made his way up into St. James's +Square, choosing, as was evident to Mr Green, the first street that +would take him out of sight. + +'He's hit, and hit hard,' said the lawyer, looking after him. 'Poor +fellow! I might have guessed it from what he said. I never knew of his +caring for any woman before.' Then Mr Green put on his gloves and went +away home. + +We will now follow Will Belton into St. James's Square, and we shall +follow a very unhappy gentleman. Doubtless he had hitherto known and +appreciated the fact that Miss Amedroz had refused his offer, and had +often declared, both to himself and to his sister, his conviction that +that refusal would never be reversed. But, in spite of that expressed +conviction, he had lived on hope. Till she belonged to another man she +might yet be his. He might win her at last by perseverance. At any rate +he had it in his power to work towards the desired end, and might find +solace even in that working. And the misery of his loss would not be so +great to him as he found himself forced to confess to himself before he +had completed his wanderings on this night in not having her for his +own, as it would be in knowing that she had given herself to another +man. He had often told himself that of course she would become the wife +of some man, but he had never yet realized to himself what it would be +to know that she was the wife of any one specified rival. He had been +sad enough on that moonlight night in the avenue at Plaistow when he +had leaned against the tree, striking his hands together as he thought +of his great want; but his unhappiness then had been as nothing to his +agony now. Now it was all over and he knew the man who had supplanted +him. + +How he hated him! With what an unchristian spirit did he regard that +worthy captain as he walked across St. James's Square, across Jermyn +Street, across Piccadilly, and up Bond Street, not knowing whither he +was going. He thought with an intense regret of the laws of modern +society which forbid duelling forgetting altogether that even had the +old law prevailed, the conduct of the man whom he so hated would have +afforded him no casus belli. But he was too far gone in misery and +animosity to be capable of any reason on the matter. Captain Aylmer had +interfered with his dearest wishes, and during this now passing hour he +would willingly have crucified Captain Aylmer had it been within his +power to do so. Till he had gone beyond Oxford Street, and had wandered +away into the far distance of Portman Square and Baker Street, he had +not begun to think of any interest which Clara Amedroz might have in +the matter on which his thoughts were employed. He was sojourning at an +hotel in Bond Street, and had gone thitherwards more by habit than by +thought; but he had passed the door of his inn, feeling it to be +impossible to render himself up to his bed in his present disturbed +mood. As he was passing the house in Bond Street he had been intent on +the destruction of Captain Aylmer and had almost determined that if +Captain Aylmer could not be made to vanish into eternity, he must make +up his mind to go that road himself. + +It was out of the question that he should go down to Belton. As to that +he had come to a very decided opinion by the time that he had crossed +Oxford Street. Go down to see her, when she had treated him after this +fashion I No, indeed. She wanted no brother now. She had chosen to +trust herself to this other man, and he, Will Belton, would not +interfere further in her affairs. Then he drew upon his imagination for +a picture of the future, in which he portrayed Captain Aylmer as a +ruined man, who would probably desert his wife, and make himself +generally odious to all his acquaintance a picture as to the +realization of which I am bound to say that Captain Aylmer's +antecedents gave no probability. But it was the looking at this +self-drawn picture which first softened the artist's heart towards the +victim whom he had immolated on his imaginary canvas. When Clara should +be ruined by the baseness and villainy and general scampishness of this +man whom she was going to marry to whom she was about to be weak enough +and fool enough to trust herself then he would interpose and be her +brother once again a broken-hearted brother no doubt, but a brother +efficacious to keep the wolf from the door of this poor woman and her +children. Then, as he thus created Captain Aylmer's embryo family of +unprovided orphans for after a while he killed the captain, making him +to die some death that was very disgraceful, but not very distinct even +to his own imagination as he thought of those coming pledges of a love +which was to him so bitter, he stormed about the streets, performing +antics of which no one would have believed him capable who had known +him as the thriving Mr William Belton, of Plaistow Hall, among the fens +of Norfolk. + +But the character of a man is not to be judged from the pictures which +he may draw or from the antics which he may play in his solitary hours. +Those who act generally with the most consummate wisdom in the affairs +of the world, often meditate very silly doings before their wiser +resolutions form themselves. I beg, therefore, that Mr Belton may be +regarded and criticized in accordance with his conduct on the following +morning when his midnight rambles, which finally took him even beyond +the New Road, had been followed by a few tranquil hours in his Bond +Street bedroom for at last he did bring himself to return thither and +put himself to bed after the usual fashion. He put himself to bed in a +spirit somewhat tranquillized by the exercise of the night, and at last +wept himself to sleep like a baby. + +But he was by no means like a baby when he took him early on the +following morning to the Paddington Station, and booked himself +manfully for Taunton. He had had time to recognize the fact that he had +no ground of quarrel with his cousin because she had preferred another +man to him. This had happened to him as he was recrossing the New Road +about two o'clock, and was beginning to find that his legs were weary +under him. And, indeed, he had recognized one or two things before he +had gone to sleep with his tears dripping on to his pillow. In the +first place, he had ill-treated Joe Green, and had made a fool of +himself in his friend's presence. As Joe Green was a sensible, kind- +hearted fellow, this did not much signify but not on that account did +be omit to tell himself of his own fault. Then he discovered that it +would ill become him to break his word to Mr Amedroz and to his +daughter, and to do so without a word of excuse, because Clara had +exercised a right which was indisputably her own. He had undertaken +certain work at Belton which required his presence, and he would go +down and do his work as though nothing had occurred to disturb him. To +remain away because of this misfortune would be to show the white +feather. It would be unmanly. All this he recognized as the pictures he +had painted faded away from their canvases. As to Captain Aylmer +himself, he hoped that he might never be called upon to meet him. He +still hoped that, even as he was resolutely cramming his shirts into +his portmanteau before he began his journey. His Cousin Clara he +thought he could meet, and tender to her some expression of good wishes +as to her future life, without giving way under the effort. And to the +old squire he could endeavour to make himself pleasant, speaking of the +relief from all trouble which this marriage with Captain Aylmer would +afford for now, in his cooler moments, be could perceive that Captain +Aylmer was not a man apt to ruin himself, or his wife and children. But +to Captain Aylmer himself, he could not bring himself to say pleasant +things or to express pleasant wishes. She who was to be Captain +Aylmer's wife, who loved him, would of course have told him what had +occurred up among the rocks in Belton Park; and if that was so, any +meeting between Will and Captain Aylmer would be death to the former. + +Thinking of all this he journeyed down to Taunton, and thinking of all +this he made his way from Taunton across to Belton Park. + + +CHAPTER XV + +EVIL WORDS + +Clara Amedroz had received her two letters together that, namely, from +the attorney, and that from Captain Aylmer and the result of those +letters is already known. She accepted her lover's renewed offer of +marriage, acknowledging the force of his logic, and putting faith in +the strength of his assurances. This she did without seeking advice +from any one. Who was there from whom she could seek advice on such a +matter as that who, at least, was there at Belton? That her father +would, as a matter of course, bid her accept Captain Aylmer, was, she +thought, certain; and she knew well that Mrs Askerton would do the +same. She asked no counsel from any one, but taking the two letters up +to her own room, sat down to consider them. That which referred to her +aunt's money, together with the postscript in Captain Aylmer's letter +on the same subject, would be of the least possible moment if she could +bring herself to give a favourable answer to the other proposition. But +should she not be able to do this should she hesitate as to doing so at +once then she must write to the lawyer in very strong terms, refusing +altogether to have anything to do with the money. And in such a case as +this, not a word could she say to her father either on one subject or +on the other. + +But why should she not accept the offer made to her? Captain Aylmer +declared that he had determined to ask her to be his wife before he had +made any promise to Mrs Winterfield. If this were in truth so, then the +very ground on which she had separated herself from him would be +removed. Why should she hesitate in acknowledging to herself that she +loved the man and believed him to be true? So she sat herself down and +answered both the letters writing to the lawyer first. To him she said +that nothing need be done about the money or the interest till he +should see or hear from Captain Aylmer again. Then to Captain Aylmer +she wrote very shortly, but very openly with the same ill-judged +candour which her spoken words to him had displayed. Of course she +would be his; his without hesitation, now that she knew that he +expressed his own wishes, and not merely those of his aunt. 'As to the +money,' she said, 'it would be simply nonsense now for us to have any +talk of money. It is yours in any way, and you had better manage about +it as you please. I have written an ambiguous letter to Mr Green, which +will simply plague him, and which you may go and see if you like.' Then +she added her postscript, in which she said that she should now at once +tell her father, as the news would remove from his mind all solicitude +as to her future position. That Captain Aylmer did go to Mr Green we +already know, and we know also that he told Mr Green of his intended +marriage. + +Nothing was said by Captain Aylmer as to any proposed period for their +marriage; but that was only natural. It was not probable that any man +would name a day till he knew whether or not he was accepted. Indeed, +Clara, on thinking over the whole affair, was now disposed to find +fault rather with herself than with her lover, and forgetting his +coldness and formality at Perivale, remembered only the fact of his +offer to her, and his assurance now received that he had intended to +make it before the scene which had taken place between him and his +aunt. She did find fault with herself, telling herself that she had +quarrelled with him without sufficient cause and the eager loving +candour of her letter to him was attributable to those self-accusations. + +'Papa,' she said, after the postman had gone away from Belton, so that +there might be no possibility of any recall of her letter, 'I have +something to tell you which I hope will give you pleasure.' + +'It isn't often that I hear anything of that kind,' said he. + +'But I think that this will give you pleasure. I do indeed. I am going +to be married.' + +'Going to what?' + +'Going to be married, papa. That is, if I have your leave. Of course +any offer of that kind that I have accepted is subject to your +approval.' + +'And I have been told nothing about it!' + +'It began at Perivale, and I could not tell you then. You do not ask me +who is to be my husband.' + +'It is not Will Belton?' + +'Poor Will! No; it is not Will. It is Frederic Aylmer. I think you +would prefer him as a son-in-law even to my Cousin Will.' + +'No I shouldn't. Why should I prefer a man whom I don't even know, who +lives in London, and who will take you away, so that I shall never see +you again?' + +'Dear papa don't speak of it in that way. I thought you would be glad +to know that I was to be so so so happy!' + +'But why is it to be done this way of a sudden? Why didn't he come to +me? Will came to me the very first thing.' + +'He couldn't come all the way to Belton very well particularly as he +does not know you.' + +'Will came here.' + +'Oh, papa, don't make difficulties. Of course that was different. He +was here when he first thought of it. And even then he didn't think +very much about it.' + +'He did all that he could, I suppose?' + +'Well yes. I don't know how that might be.' And Clara almost laughed as +she felt the difficulties into which she was creeping. 'Dear Will. He +is much better as a cousin than as a husband.' + +'I don't see that at all. Captain Aylmer will not have the Belton +estate or Plaistow Hall.' + +'Surely he is well enough off to take care of a wife. He will have the +whole of the Perivale estate, you know.' + +'I don't know anything about it. According to my ideas of what is +proper he should have spoken to me first. If he could not come he might +have written. No doubt my ideas may be old-fashioned, and I'm told that +Captain Aylmer is a fashionable young man.' + +'Indeed he is not, papa. He is a hard-working Member of Parliament.' + +'I don't know that he is any better for that. People seem to think that +if a man is a Member of Parliament he may do what he pleases. There is +Thompson, the Member for Minehead, who has bought some sort of place +out by the moors. I never saw so vulgar, pigheaded a fellow in my life. +Being in Parliament used to be something when I was young, but it won't +make a man a gentleman now-a-days. It seems to me that none but +brewers, and tallow-chandlers, and lawyers go into Parliament now. Will +Belton could go into Parliament if he pleased, but he knows better than +that. He won't make himself such a fool.' + +This was not comfortable to Clara; but she knew her father, and allowed +him to go on with his grumbling. He would come round by degrees, and he +would appreciate, if he could not be induced to acknowledge, the wisdom +of the step she was about to take. + +'When is it to be?' he asked. + +'Nothing of that kind has ever been mentioned, papa.' + +'It had better be soon, if I am to have anything to do with it.' Now it +was certainly the case that the old man was very ill. He had not been +out of the house since Clara had returned home; and, though he was +always grumbling about his food, he could hardly be induced to eat +anything when the morsels for which he expressed a wish were got for +him. + +'Of course you will be consulted, papa, before anything is settled.' + +'I don't want to be in anybody's way, my dear.' + +'And may I tell Frederic that you have given your consent? + +'What's the use of my consenting or not consenting? If you had been +anxious to oblige me you would have taken your Cousin Will.' + +'Oh, papa, how could I accept a man I didn't love?' + +'You seemed to me to be very fond of him at first; and I must say, I +thought he was ill-treated.' + +'Papa, papa; do not say such things as that to me!' + +'What am I to do? You tell me, and I can't altogether hold my tongue.' +Then there was a pause. 'Well, my dear, as for my consent, of course +you may have it if it's worth anything. I don't know that I ever heard +anything bad about Captain Aylmer.' + +He had heard nothing bad about Captain Aylmer! Clara, as she left her +father, felt that this was very grievous. Whatever cause she might have +had for discontent with her lover, she could not but be aware that he +was a man whom any father might be proud to welcome as a suitor for his +daughter. He was a man as to whom no ill tales had ever been told who +had never been known to do anything wrong or imprudent; who had always +been more than respectable, and as to whose worldly position no +exception could be taken. She had been entitled to expect her father's +warmest congratulations, and her tidings had been received as though +she had proposed to give her hand to one whose character and position +only just made it not imperative on the father to withhold his consent! +All this was hard, and feeling it to be so, she went upstairs, all +alone, and cried bitterly as she thought of it. + +On the next day she went down to the cottage and saw Mrs Askerton. She +went there with the express purpose of telling her friend of her +engagement desirous of obtaining in that quarter the sympathy which her +father declined to give her. Had her communication to him been accepted +in a different spirit, she might probably have kept her secret from Mrs +Askerton till something further had been fixed about her marriage; but +she was in want of a few kind words, and pined for some of that +encouragement which ladies in love usually wish to receive, at any rate +from some one chosen friend. But when she found herself alone with Mrs +Askerton she hardly knew how to tell her news; and at first could not +tell it at all, as that lady was eager in speaking on another subject. + +'When do you expect your cousin?' Mrs Askerton asked, almost as soon as +Clara was seated. + +'The day after tomorrow.' + +'And he is in London now?' + +'He may be. I dare say he is. But I don't know anything about it.' + +'I can tell you then that he is. Colonel Askerton has heard of his +being there.' + +'You seem to speak of it as though there were some offence in it. Is +there any reason why he should not be in London if he pleases?' + +'None in the least. I would much rather that he should be there than +here.' + +'Why so? Will his coming hurt you?' + +'I don't like him. I don't like him at all and now you know the truth. +You believe in him I don't. You think him to be a fine fellow and a +gentleman, whereas I don't think him to be either.' + +'Mrs Askerton!' + +'This is strong language, I know.' + +'Very strong language.' + +'Yes, my dear; but the truth is, Clara, that you and I, living together +here this sort of hermit's life, each seeing so much of the other and +seeing nothing of anybody else, must either be real friends, telling +each other what we think, or we must be nothing. We can't go on with +the ordinary make- believes of society, saying little civil speeches +and not going beyond them. Therefore I have made up my mind to tell you +in plain language that I don't like your cousin, and don't believe in +him.' + +'I don't know what you mean by believing in a man.' + +'I believe in you. Sometimes I have thought that you believe in me, and +sometimes I have feared that you do not. I think that you are good, and +honest, and true; and therefore I like to see your face and hear your +voice though it is not often that you say very pleasant things to me.' + +'Do I say unpleasant things?' + +'I am not going to quarrel with you not if I can help it. What business +has Mr Belton to go about London making inquiries as to me? What have I +done to him, that he should honour me so far?' + +'Has he made inquiries?' + +'Yes; he has. If you have been contented with me as I am if you are +satisfied, why should he want to learn more? If you have any question +to ask me I will answer it. But what right can he have to be asking +questions among strangers?' + +Clara had no question to ask, and yet she could not say that she was +satisfied. She would have been better satisfied to have known more of +Mrs Askerton, but yet she had never condescended to make inquiries +about her friend. But her curiosity was now greatly raised; and, +indeed, Mrs Askerton's manner was so strange, her vehemence so unusual, +and her eagerness to rush into dangerous subjects so unlike her usual +tranquillity in conversation, that Clara did not know how to answer her. + +'I know nothing of any questioning,' she said. + +'I am sure you don't. Had I thought you did, much as I love you +valuable as your society is to me down in this desert I would never +speak to you again. But remember if you want to ask any questions, and +will ask them of me of me I will answer them, and will not be angry.' + +'But I don't want to ask any questions.' + +'You may some day; and then you can remember what I say.' + +'And am I to understand that you are determined to quarrel with my +Cousin Will?' + +'Quarrel with him! I don't suppose that I shall see him. After what I +have said it is not probable that you will bring him here, and the +servant will have orders to say that I am not at home if be should +call. Luckily he and Colonel Askerton did not meet when he was here +before.' + +'This is the most strange thing I ever heard in my life.' + +'You will understand it better, my dear, when he makes his +communication to you.' + +'What communication?' + +'You'll find that he'll have a communication to make. He has been so +diligent and so sharp that he'll have a great deal to tell, I do not +doubt. Only, remember, Clara, that if anything that he tells you makes +any difference in your feelings towards me, I shall expect you to come +to me and say so openly. If he makes his statement, let me make mine. I +have a right to ask for that, after what I have promised.' + +'You may be sure that I will.' + +'I want nothing more. I have no distrust in you none in the least. I +tell you that I believe in you. If you will do that, and will keep Mr +William Belton out of my way during his visit to these parts, I shall +be satisfied.' For some time past Mrs Askerton had been walking about +the room, but, as she now finished speaking, she sat herself down as +though the subject was fully discussed and completed. For a minute or +two she made an effort to resume her usual tranquillity of manner, and +in doing so attempted to smile, as though ridiculing her own energy. 'I +knew I should make a fool of myself when you came,' she said; and now I +have done it.' + +'I don't think you have been a fool at all, but you may have been +mistaken.' + +'Very well, my dear, we shall see. It's very odd what a dislike I took +to that man the first time I saw him.' + +'And I am so fond of him!' + +'Yes; he has cozened you as he has your father. I am only glad that he +did not succeed in cozening you further than he did. But I ought to +have known you bettor than to suppose you could give your heart of +hearts to one who is' + +'Do not abuse him any more.' + +'Who is so very unlike the sort of people with whom you have lived. I +may, at any rate, say that.' + +'I don't know that. I haven't lived much with any one yet except papa, +and my aunt, and you.' + +'But you know a gentleman when you see him.' + +'Come, Mrs Askerton, I will not stand this. I thought you had done with +the subject, and now you begin again. I had come here on purpose to +tell you something of real importance that is, to me; but I must go +away without telling you, unless you will give over abusing my cousin.' + +'I will not say a word more about him not at present.' + +'I feel so sure that you are mistaken, you know.' + +'Very well and I feel sure that you are mistaken. We will leave it so, +and go to this matter of importance.' But Clara felt it to be very +difficult to tell her tidings after such a conversation as that which +had just occurred. When she had entered the room her mind had been +tuned to the subject, and she could have found fitting words without +much difficulty to herself; but now her thoughts had been scattered and +her feelings hurt, and she did not know how to bring herself back to +the subject of her engagement. She paused, therefore, and sat with a +doubtful, hesitating look, meditating some mode of escape. 'I am all +ears,' said Mrs Askerton; and Clara thought that she discovered +something of ridicule or of sarcasm in the tone of her friend's voice. + +'I believe I'll put it off till another day,' she said. + +'Why so? You don't think that anything really important to you will not +be important to me also?' + +'I'm sure of that, but somehow' + +'You mean to say that I have ruffled you?' + +'Well perhaps; a little.' + +'Then be unruffled again, like my own dear, honest Clara. I have been +ruffled too, but I'll be as tranquil now as a drawing-room cat.' Then +Mrs Askerton got up from her chair, and seated herself by Clara's side +on the sofa. 'Come; you can't go till you've told me; and if you +hesitate, I shall think that you mean to quarrel With me.' + +'I'll come to you tomorrow.' + +'No, no; you shall tell me today. All tomorrow you'll be preparing for +your cousin.' + +'What nonsense!' + +'Or else you'll come prepared to vindicate him, and then we shan't get +on any further. Tell me what it is today. You can't leave me in +curiosity after what you have said.' + +'You've heard of Captain Aylmer, I think.' + +'Of course I've heard of him.' + +'But you've never seen him?' + +'You know I never have.' + +'I told you that he was at Perivale when Mrs Winterfield died.' + +'And now he has proposed, and you are going to accept him? That will +indeed be important. Is it so? say. But don't I know it is so? Why +don't you speak?' + +'If you know it, why need I speak?' + +'But it is so? Oh, Clara, I am so glad. I congratulate you with all my +heart with all my heart. My dearest, dearest Clara! What a happy +arrangement! What a success! It is just as it should be. Dear, good +man! to come forward in that sensible way, and put an end to all the +little family difficulties!' + +'I don't know so much about success. Who is it that is successful?' + +'You, to be sure.' + +'Then by the same measurement he must be unsuccessful.' + +'Don't be a fool, Clara.' + +'Of course I have been successful if I've got a man that I can love as +my husband.' + +'Now, my dear, don't be a fool. Of course all that is between you and +him, and I don't in the least doubt that it is all as it should be. If +Captain Aylmer had been the elder brother instead of the younger, and +had all the Aylmer estates instead of the Perivale property, I know you +would not accept him if you did not like him.' + +'I hope not.' + +'I am sure you would not. But when a girl with nothing a year has +managed to love a man with two or three thousand a year, and has +managed to be loved by him in return instead of going through the same +process with the curate or village doctor it is a success, and her +friend will always think so. And when a girl marries a gentleman, and a +Member of Parliament, instead of well, I'm not going to say anything +personal her friends will congratulate her upon his position. It may be +very wicked, and mercenary, and all that; but it's the way of the +world.' + +'I hate hearing about the world.' + +'Yes, my dear; all proper young ladies like you do hate it. But I +observe that such girls as you never offend its prejudices. You can't +but know that you would have done a wicked as well as a foolish thing +to marry a man without an adequate income.' + +'But I needn't marry at all.' + +'And what would you live on then? Come Clara, we needn't quarrel about +that. I've no doubt he's charming, and beautiful, and' + +'He isn't beautiful at all; and as for charming' + +'He has charmed you at any rate.' + +'He has made me believe that I can trust him without doubt, and love +him without fear.' + +'An excellent man! And the income will be an additional comfort; you'll +allow that?' + +'I'll allow nothing.' + +'And when is it to be?' + +'Oh perhaps in six or seven years.' + +'Clara!' + +'Perhaps sooner; but there's been no word said about time.' + +'Is not Mr Amedroz delighted?' + +'Not a bit. He quite scolded me when I told him.' + +'Why what did he want?' + +'You know papa.' + +'I know he scolds at everything, but I shouldn't have thought he would +have scolded at that. And when does he come here?' + +'Who come here?' + +'Captain Aylmer.' + +'I don't know that he is coming at all.' + +'He must come to be married.' + +'All that is in the clouds as yet. I did not like to tell you, but you +mustn't suppose that because I've told you, everything is settled. +Nothing is settled.' + +'Nothing except the one thing?' + +'Nothing else.' + +It was more than an hour after that before Clara went away, and when +she did so she was surprised to find that she was followed out of the +house by Colonel Askerton. It was quite dusk at this time, the days +being just at their shortest, and Colonel Askerton, according to his +custom, would have been riding, or returning from his ride. Clara had +been over two hours at the cottage, and had been aware when she reached +it that be had not as yet gone out. It appeared now that he had not +ridden at all, and, as she remembered to have seen his horse led before +the window, it at once occurred to her that he had remained at home +with the view of catching her as she went away. He came up to her just +as she was passing through the gate, and offered her his right hand as +he raised his hat with his left. It sometimes happens to all of us in +life that we become acquainted with persons intimately that is, with an +assumed intimacy whom in truth we do not know at all. We meet such +persons frequently, often eating and drinking in their company, being +familiar with their appearance, and well-informed generally as to their +concerns; but we never find ourselves holding special conversations +with them, or in any way fitting the modes of our life to the modes of +their life. Accident has brought us together, and in one sense they are +our friends. We should probably do any little kindness for them, or +expect the same from them; but there is nothing in common between us, +and there is generally a mutual though unexpressed agreement that there +shall be nothing in common. Miss Amedroz was intimately acquainted with +Colonel Askerton after this fashion. She saw him very frequently, and +his name was often on her tongue; but she rarely, if ever, conversed +with him, and knew of his habits only from his wife's words respecting +them. When, therefore, he followed her through the garden gate into the +park, she was driven to suppose that he had something special to say to +her. + +'I'm afraid you'll have a dark walk, Miss Amedroz,' he said. + +'It's only just across the park, and I know the way so well.' + +'Yes of course. I saw you coming out, and as I want to say a word or +two, I have ventured to follow you. When Mr Belton was down here I did +not have the pleasure of meeting him.' + +'I remember that you missed each other.' + +'Yes, we did. I understand from my wife that he will be here again in a +day or two.' + +'He will be with us the day after tomorrow.' + +'I hope you will excuse my saying that it will be very desirable that +we should miss each other again.' Clara felt that her face became red +with anger as she listened to Colonel Askerton's words. He spoke +slowly, as was his custom, and without any of that violence of +expression which his wife had used; but on that very account there was +more, if possible, of meaning in his words than in hers. William Belton +was her cousin, and such a speech as that which Colonel Askerton had +made, spoken with deliberation and unaccompanied by any previous +explanation, seemed to her almost to amount to insult. But as she did +not know how to answer him at the spur of the moment, she remained +silent. Then he continued, 'You may be sure, Miss Amedroz, that I +should not make so strange a request to you if I had not good reason +for making it.' + +'I think it a very strange request.' + +'And nothing but a strong conviction of its propriety on my part would +have induced me to make it.' + +'If you do not want to see my cousin, why cannot you avoid him without +saying anything to me on the subject + +'Because you would not then have understood as thoroughly as I wish you +to do why I kept out of his way. For my wife's sake and for yours, if +you will allow me to say so I do not wish to come to any open quarrel +with him; but if we met, a quarrel would, I think, be inevitable. Mary +has probably explained to you the nature of his offence against us?' + +'Mrs Askerton has told me something as to which I am quite sure that +she is mistaken.' + +'I will say nothing about that, as I have no wish at all to set you +against your cousin. I will bid you good-night now as you are close at +home.' Then he turned round and left her. + +Clara, as she thought of all this, could not but call to mind her +cousin's remembrances about Miss Vigo and Mr Berdmore. What if he made +some inquiry as to the correctness of his old recollections? Nothing, +she thought, could be more natural. And then she reflected that, in the +ordinary way of the world, persons feel none of that violent objection +to the asking of questions about their antecedents which was now +evinced by both Colonel and Mrs Askerton. But of one thing she felt +quite assured that her cousin, Will Belton, would make no inquiry which +he ought not to make; and would make no improper use of any information +which he might obtain. + + +CHAPTER XVI + +THE HEIR'S SECOND VISIT TO BELTON + +Clara began to doubt whether any possible arrangement of the +circumstances of her life could be regarded as fortunate. She was very +fond, in a different degree and after a different fashion, of both +Captain Aylmer and Mr Belton. As regarded both, her position was now +exactly what she herself would have wished. The man that she loved was +betrothed to her, and the other man, whom she loved indeed also as a +brother, was coming to her in that guise with the understanding that +that was to be his position. And yet everything was going wrong! Her +father, though he did not actually say anything against Captain Aylmer, +showed by a hundred little signs, of which he was a skilful master, +that the Aylmer alliance was distasteful to him, and that he thought +himself to be aggrieved in that his daughter would not marry her +cousin; whereas, over at the cottage, there was a still more bitter +feeling against Mr Belton a feeling so bitter, that it almost induced +Clara to wish that her cousin was not coming to them. + +But the cousin did come, and was driven up to the door in the gig from +Taunton, just as had been the case on his previous visit. Then, +however, he had come in the full daylight, and the hay-carts had been +about, and all the prettiness and warmth of summer had been there; now +it was mid-winter, and there had been some slight beginnings of snow, +and the wind was moaning about the old tower, and the outside of the +house looked very unpleasant from the hall-door. As it had become dusk +in the afternoon, the old squire had been very careful in his orders as +to preparations for Will's comfort as though Clara would have forgotten +all those things in the preoccupation of her mind, caused by the +constancy of her thoughts towards Will's rival. He even went so far as +to creep across the upstairs landing-place to see that the fire was +lighted in Will's room, this being the first time that he had left his +chamber for many days and bad given special orders as to the food which +was to be prepared for Will's dinner in a very different spirit from +that which bad dictated some former orders when Will was about to make +his first visit, and when his coming had been regarded by the old man +as a heartless, indelicate, and almost hostile proceeding. + +'I wish I could go down to receive him,' said Mr Amedroz, plaintively. +'I hope he won't take it amiss.' + +'You may be sure he won't do that.' + +'Perhaps I can tomorrow.' + +'Dear papa, you had better not think of it till the weather is milder.' + +'Milder! how is it to get milder at this time of the year?' + +'Of course he'll come up to you, papa.' + +'He's very good. I know he's very good. No one also would do as much.' + +Clara understood accurately what all this meant. Of course she was glad +that her father should feel so kindly towards her cousin, and think so +much of his coming; but every word said by the old man in praise of +Will Belton implied an equal amount of dispraise as regarded Captain +Aylmer, and contained a reproach against his daughter for having +refused the former and accepted the latter. + +Clara was in the ball when Belton arrived, and received him as he +entered, enveloped in his damp great-coats. 'It is so good of you to +come in such weather,' she said. + +'Nice seasonable weather, I call it,' he said. It was the same +comfortable, hearty, satisfactory voice which had done so much towards +making his way for him on his first arrival at Belton Castle The voices +to which Clara was most accustomed were querulous as though the world +had been found by the owners of them to be but a bad place. But +Belton's voice seemed to speak of cheery days and happy friends, and a +general state of things which made life worth having. Nevertheless, +forty-eight hours had not yet passed over his head since he was walking +about London in such misery that he had almost cursed the hour in which +be was born. His misery still remained with him, as black now as it had +been then; and yet his voice was cheery. The sick birds, we are told, +creep into holes, that they may die alone and unnoticed; and the +wounded beasts hide themselves that their grief may not be seen of +their fellows. A man has the same instinct to conceal the weakness of +his sufferings; but, if he be a man, he hides it in his own heart, +keeping it for solitude and the watches of the night, while to the +outer world he carries a face on which his care has made no marks. + +'You will be sorry to hear that papa is too ill to come downstairs.' + +'Is he, indeed? I am truly sorry. I had beard he was ill; but did not +know he was so ill as that.' + +'Perhaps he fancies himself weaker than he is.' + +'We must try and cure him of that. I can see him, I hope?' + +'Oh dear, yes. He is most anxious for you to go to him. As soon as ever +you can come upstairs I will take you.' He had already stripped himself +of his wrappings, and declaring himself ready, at once followed Clara +to the squire's room. + +'I'm sorry, sir, to find you in this way,' he said. + +'I'm very poorly, Will very,' said the squire, putting out his hand as +though he were barely able to lift it above his knee. Now it certainly +was the fact that half an hour before he had been walking across the +passage. + +'We must see if we can't soon make you better among us,' said Will. + +The squire shook his head with a slow, melancholy movement, not raising +his eyes from the ground. 'I don't think you'll ever see me much +better, Will,' he said. And yet half an hour since he had been talking +of being down in the dining-room on the next day. 'I shan't trouble you +much longer,' said the squire. 'You'll soon have it all without paying +rent for it.' + +This was very unpleasant, and almost frustrated Belton's attempts to be +cheery. But he persevered nevertheless. 'It'll be a long time yet +before that day comes, sir.' + +'Ah; that's easily said. But never mind. Why should I want to remain +when I shall have once seen her properly settled. I've nothing to live +for except that she may have a home.' + +On this subject it was quite impossible that Belton should say +anything. Clara was standing by him, and she, as he knew, was engaged +to Captain Aylmer. So circumstanced, what could he say as to Clara's +settlement in life? That something should be said between him and the +old man, and something also between him and Clara, was a matter of +course; but it was quite out of the question that he should discuss +Clara's prospects in life in presence of them both together. + +'Papa's illness makes him a little melancholy,' said Clara. + +'Of course of course. It always does,' said Will. + +'I think he will be better when the weather becomes milder,' said Clara. + +'I suppose I may be allowed to know how I feel myself,' said the +squire. 'But don't keep Will up here when he wants his dinner. There; +that'll do. You'd better leave me now.' Then Will went out to his old +room, and a quarter of an hour afterwards he found himself seated with +Clara at the dinner- table; and a quarter of an hour after that the +dinner was over, and they had both drawn their chairs to the fire. + +Neither of them knew how to begin with the other. Clara was under no +obligation to declare her engagement to her cousin, but yet she felt +that it would be unhandsome in her not to do so. Had Will never made +the mistake of wanting to marry her himself, she would have done so as +a matter of course. Had she supposed him to cherish any intention of +renewing that mistake she would have felt herself bound to tell him so +that he might save himself from unnecessary pain. But she gave him +credit for no such intention, and yet she could not but remember that +scene among the rocks. And then was she, or was she not, to say +anything to him about the Askertons? With him also the difficulty was +as great. He did not in truth believe that the tidings which he had +heard from his friend the lawyer required corroboration; but yet it was +necessary that he should know from herself that she had disposed of her +hand and it was necessary also that he should say some word to her as +to their future standing and friendship. + +'You must be very anxious to see how your farm goes on,' said she. + +He had not thought much of his agricultural venture at Belton for the +last three or four days, and would hardly have been vexed had he been +told that every head of cattle about the place had died of the murrain. +Some general idea of the expediency of going on with a thing which he +had commenced still actuated him; but it was the principle involved, +and not the speculation itself, which interested him. But he could not +explain all this, and he therefore was driven to some cold agreement +with her. 'The farm! you mean the stock. Yes; I shall go and have a +look at them early tomorrow. I suppose they're all alive.' + +'Pudge says that they are doing uncommonly well.' Pudge was a leading +man among the Belton labourers, whom Will had hired to look after his +concerns. + +'That's all right. I dare say Pudge knows quite as much about it as I +do.' + +'But the master's eye is everything.' + +'Pudge's eye is quite as good as mine; and probably much better, as he +knows the country.' + +'You used to say that it was everything for a man to look after his own +interests.' + +'And I do look after them. Pudge and I will go and have a look at every +beast tomorrow, and I shall look very wise and pretend to know more +about it than he does. In stock-farming the chief thing is not to have +too many beasts. They used to say that half-stocking was whole profit, +and. whole- stocking was half profit. If the animals have plenty to +eat, and the rent isn't too high, they'll take care of. their owner.' + +'But then there is so much illness.' + +'I always insure.' + +Clara perceived that the subject of the cattle didn't suit the present +occasion. When he had before been at Belton. he had liked nothing so +much as talking about the cattle-sheds, and the land, and the kind of +animals which would suit the place; but now the novelty of the thing +was gone and the farmer did not wish to talk of his farm. In her +anxiety to find a topic which would not be painful, she went from the +cattle to the cow. 'You can't think what a pet Bess has been with us. +And she seems to think that she is privileged to go everywhere, and do +anything.' + +'I hope they have taken care that she has had winter food.' + +'Winter food! Why Pudge, and all the Pudges, and all the family in the +house, and all your cattle would have to want, before Bessy would be +allowed to miss a meal. Pudge always says, with his sententious shake +of the head, that the young squire was very particular about Bessy.' + +'Those Alderneys want a little care that's all.' + +Bessy was. of no better service to Clara in her present difficulty than +the less aristocratic herd of common cattle. There was a pause for a +moment, and then she began again. 'How did you leave your sister, Will?' + +'Much the same as usual. I think she has borne the first of the cold +weather better than she did last year.' + +'I do so wish that I knew her.' + +'Perhaps you will some day. But I don't suppose that you ever will.' + +'Why not?' + +'It's not likely that you'll ever come to Plaistow now and Mary never +leaves it except to go to my uncle's.' + +Clara instantly knew that he had heard of her engagement, though she +could not imagine from what source he had heard it. There was something +in the tone of his voice something especially in the expression of that +word 'now', which told her that it must be so. 'I should be so glad to +go there if I could,' she said, with that special hypocrisy which +belongs to women, and is allowed to them; 'but, of course, I cannot +leave papa in his present state.' + +'And if you did leave him you would not go to Plaistow.' + +'Not unless you and Mary asked me.' + +'And you wouldn't if we did. How could you?' + +'What do you mean, Will? It seems as though you were almost savage to +me.' + +'Am I? Well I feel savage, but not to you.' + +'Nor to any one, I hope, belonging to me.' She knew that it was all +coming; that the whole subject of her future life must now be +discussed; and she began to fear that the discussion might not be easy. +But she did not know how to give it a direction. She feared that he +would become angry, and yet she knew not why. He had accepted his own +rejection tranquilly, and could hardly take it as an offence that she +should now be engaged to Captain Aylmer. + +'Mr Green has told me', said he, 'that you are going to be married.' + +'How could Mr Green have known?' + +'He did know at least I suppose he knew, for he told me.' + +'How very odd.' + +'I suppose it is true?' Clara did not make any immediate answer, and +then he repeated the question. 'I suppose it is true?' + +'It is true that I am engaged.' + +'To Captain Aylmer?' + +'Yes; to Captain Aylmer. You know that I had known him very long. I +hope that you are not angry with me because I did not write and tell +you. Strange as it may seem, seeing that you had heard it already, it +is not a week yet since it was settled; and had I written to you, I +could only have addressed my letter to you here.' + +'I wasn't thinking about that. I didn't specially want you to write to +me. What difference would it make?' + +'But I should have felt that I owed it to your kindness and your regard +for me.' + +'My regard! What's the use of regard?' + +'You are not going to quarrel with me, Will, because because because . +If you had really been my brother, as you once said you would be, you +could not but have approved of what I have done.' + +'But I am not your brother.' + +'Oh, Will; that sounds so cruel!' + +'I am not your brother, and I have no right to approve or disapprove.' + +'I will not say that I could make my engagement with Captain Aylmer +dependent on your approval. It would not be fair to him to do so, and +it would put me into a false position.' + +' Have I asked you to make any such absurd sacrifice?' + +'Listen to me, Will. I say that I could not do that. But, short of +that, there is nothing I would not do to satisfy you. I think so much +of your judgment and goodness, and so very much of your affection; I +love you so dearly, that Oh, Will, say a kind word to me!' + +'A kind word; yes, but what sort of kindness? + +'You must know that Captain Aylmer' + +'Don't talk to me of Captain Aylmer. Have I said anything against him? +Have I ventured to make any objection? Of course, I know his +superiority to myself. I know that he is a man of the world, and that I +am not; that he is educated, and that I am ignorant; that he has a +position, and that I have none; that he has much to offer, and that I +have nothing. Of course, I see the difference; but that does not make +me comfortable.' + +'Will, I had learned to love him before I had ever seen you.' + +'Why didn't you tell me so, that I might have known there was no hope, +and have gone away utterly out of the kingdom? If it was all settled +then, why didn't you tell me, and save me from breaking my heart with +false hopes?' + +'Nothing was settled then. I hardly knew my own mind; but yet I loved +him. There; cannot you understand it? Have I not told you enough?' + +'Yes, I understand it.' + +'And do you blame me?' + +He paused awhile before he answered her. 'No; I do not blame you. I +suppose I must blame no one but myself. But you should bear with me. I +was so happy, and now I am so wretched.' + +There was nothing that she could say to comfort him. She had altogether +mistaken the nature of the man's regard, and had even mistaken the very +nature of the man. So much she now learned, and could tell herself that +had she known him better she would either have prevented this second +visit, or would have been careful that he should have learned the truth +from herself before he came. Now she could only wait till he should +again have got strength to hide his suffering under the veil of his own +manliness. + +'I have not a word to say against what you are doing,' he said at last; +'not a word. But you will understand what I mean when I tell you that +it is not likely that you will come to Plaistow.' + +'Some day, Will, when you have a wife of your own' + +'Very well; but we won't talk about that at present, if you please. +When I have, things will be different. In the meantime your course and +mine will be separate. You, I suppose, will be with him in London, +while I shall be at the devil as likely as not.' + +'How can you speak to me in that way? Is that like being my brother?' + +'I don't feel like being your brother. However, I beg your pardon, and +now we will have done with it. Spilt milk can't be helped, and my milk +pans have got themselves knocked over. That's all. Don't you think we +ought to go up to your father again?' + +On the following day Belton and Mr Amedroz discussed the same subject, +but the conversation went off very quietly. Will was determined not to +exhibit his weakness before the father as he had done before the +daughter. When the squire, with a maundering voice, drawled out some +expression of regret that his daughter's choice had not fallen in +another place, Will was able to say that bygones must he bygones. He +regretted it also, but that was now over. And when the squire +endeavoured to say a few ill-natured words about Captain Aylmer, Will +stopped him at once by asserting that the captain was all that he ought +to be. + +'And it would have made me so happy to think that my daughter's child +should come to live in his grandfather's old house,' murmured Mr +Amedroz. + +'And there's no knowing that he mayn't do so yet,' said Will. 'But all +these things are so doubtful that a man is wrong to fix his happiness +upon them.' After that he went out to ramble about, the place, and +before the third day was over Clara was able to perceive that, in spite +of what he had said, he was as busy about the cattle as though his +bread depended on them. + +Nothing had been said as yet about the Askertons, and Clara had +resolved that their name should not first be mentioned by her. Mrs +Askerton had prophesied that Will would have some communication to make +about herself, and Clara would at any rate see whether her cousin +would, of his own accord, introduce the subject. But three days passed +by, and he had made no allusion to the cottage or its inhabitants. This +in itself was singular, as the Askertons were the only local friends +whom Clara knew, and as Belton had become personally acquainted with +Mrs Askerton. But such was the case; and when Mr Amedroz once said +something about Mrs Askerton in the presence of both Clara and Belton, +they both of them shrank from the subject in a manner that made Clara +understand that any conversation about the Askertons was to be avoided. +On the fourth day Clara saw Mrs Askerton, but then Will Belton's name +was not mentioned. There was therefore, among them all, a sense of some +mystery which made them uncomfortable, and which seemed to admit of no +solution. Clara was more sure than ever that her cousin had made no +inquiries that he should not have made, and that he would put no +information that he might have to an improper use. But of such +certainty on her part she could say nothing. + +Three weeks passed by, and it seemed as though Belton's visit were to +come to an end without any further open trouble. Now and then something +was said about. Captain Aylmer; but it was very little, and Belton made +no further reference to his own feelings. It had come to be understood +that his visit was to be limited to a month; and to both him and Clara +the month wore itself away slowly, neither of them having much pleasure +in the society of the other. The old squire came downstairs once for an +hour or two, and spent the whole time in bitter complaints. Everything +was wrong, and everybody was ill-treating him. Even with Will he +quarrelled, or did his best to quarrel, in regard to everything about +the place, though at the same time he did not cease to grumble at his +visitor for going away and leaving him. Belton bore it all so well that +the grumbling and quarrelling did not lead to much; but it required all +his good-humour and broad common sense to prevent serious troubles and +misunderstanding. + +During the period of her cousin's visit at Belton, Clara received two +letters from Captain Aylmer, who was spending the Christmas holidays +with his father and mother, and on the day previous to that of her +cousin's departure there came a third. In neither of these letters was +there much said about Sir Anthony, but they were all very full of Lady +Aylmer. In the first he wrote with something of the personal enthusiasm +of a lover and therefore Clara hardly felt the little drawbacks to her +happiness which were contained in certain innuendoes respecting Lady +Aylmer's ideas, and Lady Aylmer's hopes, and Lady Aylmer's fears. Clara +was not going to marry Lady Aylmer, and did not fear but that she could +hold her own against any mother-in-law in the world when once they +should be brought face to face. And as long as Captain Aylmer seemed to +take her part rather than that of his mother it was all very well. The +second letter was more trying to her temper, as it contained one or two +small morsels of advice as to conduct which had evidently originated +with her ladyship. Now there is nothing, I take it, so irritating to an +engaged young lady as counsel from her intended husband's mamma. An +engaged young lady, if she be really in love, will take almost anything +from her lover as long as she is sure that it comes altogether from +himself. He may take what liberties he pleases with her dress. He may +prescribe high church or low church if he be not, as is generally the +case, in a condition to accept, rather than to give, prescriptions on +that subject. He may order almost any course of reading providing that +he supply the books. And he may even interfere with the style of +dancing, and recommend or prohibit partners. But he may not thrust his +mother down his future wife's throat. In answer to the second letter, +Clara did not say much to show her sense of objection. Indeed she said +nothing. But in saying nothing she showed her objection, and Captain +Aylmer understood it. Then came the third letter, and as it contained +matter touching upon our story, it shall be given entire and I hope it +may be taken by gentlemen about to marry as a fair specimen of the sort +of letter they ought not to write to the girls of their hearts: + +Aylmer Castle + +19th January, 186 . + +'Dearest Clara I got your letter of the 16th yesterday, and was sorry +you said nothing in reference to my mother's ideas as to the house at +Perivale. Of course she knew that I heard from you, and was +disappointed when, I was obliged to tell her, that you had not alluded +to the subject. She is very anxious about you, and, having now given +her assent to our marriage, is of course desirous of knowing that her +kindly feeling is reciprocated. I assured her that my own Clara was the +last person to be remiss in such a matter, and reminded her that young +ladies are seldom very careful in their mode of answering letters. +Remember, therefore, that I am now your guarantee, and send some +message to relieve me from my liability. + +When I told her of your father's long illness, which she laments +greatly, and of your cousin's continued presence at Belton Castle, she +seemed to think that Mr Belton's visit should not be prolonged. When I +told her that he was your nearest relative, she remarked that cousins +are the same as any other people which indeed they are. I know that my +Clara Will not suppose that I mean more by this than the words convey. +Indeed I mean less. But not having the advantage of a mother of your +own, you will not be sorry to know what are my mother's opinions on +matters which so nearly concern you. + +And now I come to another subject, as to which what I shall say will +surprise you very much. You know, I think, that my aunt Winterfield and +I had some conversation about your neighbours, the Askertons; and you +will remember that my aunt, whose ideas on such matters were always +correct, was a little afraid that your father had not made sufficient +inquiry respecting them before he allowed them to settle near him as +tenants. It now turns out that she is very far, indeed, from what she +ought to be. My mother at first thought of writing to you about this; +but she is a little fatigued, and at last resolved that under all the +circumstances it might be as well that I should tell you. It seems that +Mrs Askerton was married before to a certain Captain Berdmore, and that +she left her first husband during his lifetime under the protection of +Colonel Askerton. I believe they, the Colonel and Mrs Askerton, have +been since married. Captain Berdmore died about four years ago in +India, and it is probable that such a marriage has taken place. But +under these circumstances, as Lady Aylmer says, you will at once +perceive that all acquaintance between you and the lady should be +brought to an end. Indeed, your own sense of what is becoming to you, +either as an unmarried girl or as my future wife, or indeed as a woman +at all, will at once make you feel that this must be so. I think, if I +were you, I would tell the whole to Mr Amedroz; but this I will leave +to your own discretion. I can assure you that Lady Aylmer has full +proof as to the truth of what I tell you. + +I go up to London in February. I suppose I may hardly hope to see you +before the recess in July or August; but I trust that before that we +shall have fixed the day when you will make me the happiest of men. + +Yours, with truest affection, + +F. F. AYLMER.' + +It was a disagreeable, nasty letter from the first line to the last. +There was not a word in it which did not grate against Clara's feelings +not a thought expressed which did not give rise to fears as to her +future happiness. But the information which it contained about the +Askertons 'the communication,' as Mrs Askerton herself would have +called it made her for the moment almost forget Lady Aylmer and her +insolence. Could this story be true? And if true, how far would it be +imperative on her to take the hint,, or rather obey the order, which +had been given her? What steps should she take to learn the truth? Then +she remembered Mrs Askerton's promise 'If you want to ask any +questions, and will ask them of me, I will answer them.' The +communication, as to which Mrs Askerton had prophesied, had now been +made but it had been made not by Will Belton, whom Mrs Askerton had +reviled, but by Captain Aylmer, whose praises Mrs Askerton had so +loudly sung. As Clara thought of this, she could not analyse her own +feelings, which were not devoid of a certain triumph. She had known +that Belton would not put on his armour to attack a woman. Captain +Aylmer had done so, and she was hardly surprised at his doing it. Yet +Captain Aylmer was the man she loved! Captain Aylmer was the man she +had promised to marry. But, in truth, she hardly knew which was the man +she loved! + +This letter came on a Sunday morning, and on that day she and Belton +went to church together. On the following morning early he was to start +for Taunton. At church they saw Mrs Askerton, whose attendance there +was not very frequent. It seemed, indeed, as though she had come with +the express purpose of seeing Belton once during his visit. As they +left the church she bowed to him, and that was all they saw of each +other throughout the month that he remained in Somersetshire. + +'Come to me tomorrow Clara,' Mrs Askerton said as they all passed +through the village together. Clara muttered some reply, having not as +yet made up her mind as to what her conduct must be. Early on the next +morning Will Belton went away, and again Clara got up to give him his +breakfast. On this occasion he had no thought of kissing her. He went +away without having had a word said to him about Mrs Askerton, and then +Clara settled herself down to the work of deliberation. What should she +do with reference to the communication that had been made to her by +Captain Aylmer? + + +CHAPTER XVII + +AYLMER PARK + +Aylmer Park and the great house of the Aylmers together formed an +important and, as regarded in some minds, an imposing country +residence. The park was large, including some three or four hundred +acres, and was peopled, rather thinly, by aristocratic deer. It was +surrounded by an aristocratic paling, and was entered, at three +different points, by aristocratic lodges. The sheep were more numerous +than the deer, because Sir Anthony, though he had a large income, was +not in very easy circumstances. The ground was quite flat; and though +there were thin belts of trees, and some ornamental timber here and +there, it was not well wooded. It had no special beauty of its own, and +depended for its imposing qualities chiefly on its size, on its three +sets of double lodges, and on its old established character as an +important family place in the county. The house was of stone, with a +portico of Ionic columns which looked as though it hardly belonged of +right to the edifice, and stretched itself out grandly, with two +pretentious wings, which certainly gave it a just claim to be called a +mansion. It required a great many servants to keep it in order, and the +numerous servants required an experienced duenna, almost as grand in +appearance as Lady Aylmer herself, to keep them in order. There was an +open carriage and a close carriage, and a butler, and two footmen, and +three gamekeepers, and four gardeners, and there was a coachman, and +there were grooms, and sundry inferior men and boys about the place to +do the work which the gardeners and game-keepers and grooms did not +choose to do themselves. And they all became fat, and lazy, and stupid, +and respectable together; so that, as the reader will at once perceive, +Aylmer Park was kept up in the proper English style. Sir Anthony very +often discussed with his steward the propriety of lessening the +expenditure of his residence, and Lady Aylmer always attended and +probably directed these discussions; but it was found that nothing +could be done. Any attempt to remove a gamekeeper or a gardener would +evidently throw the whole machinery of Aylmer Park out of gear. If +retrenchment was necessary Aylmer Park must be abandoned, and the glory +of the Aylmers must be allowed to pale. But things were not so had as +that with Sir Anthony. The gardeners, grooms, and gamekeepers were +maintained; ten domestic servants sat down to four heavy meals in the +servants' hall every day, and Lady Aylmer contented herself with +receiving little or no company, and with stingy breakfasts and bad +dinners for herself and her husband and daughter. By all this it must +be seen that she did her duty as the wife of an English country +gentleman, and properly maintained his rank as a baronet. + +He was a heavy man, over seventy years of age, much afflicted with +gout, and given to no pursuit on earth which was available for his +comfort. He had been a hunting man, and he had shot also; but not with +that energy which induces a sportsman to carry on those amusements in +opposition to the impediments of age. He had been, and still was, a +county magistrate; but he had never been very successful in the +justice-room, and now seldom troubled the county with his judicial +incompetence. He had been fond of good dinners and good wine, and +still, on occasions, would make attempts at enjoyment in that line; but +the gout and Lady Aylmer together were too many for him, and he had but +small opportunity for filling up the blanks of his existence out of the +kitchen or cellar. He was a big man, with a broad chest, and a red +face, and a quantity of white hair and was much given to abusing his +servants. He took some pleasure in standing, with two sticks, on the +top of the steps before his own front door, and railing at any one who +came in his way. But he could not do this when Lady Aylmer was by; and +his dependents, knowing his habits, had fallen into an ill-natured way +of deserting the side of the house which he frequented. With his eldest +son, Anthony Aylmer, he was not on very good terms; and though there +was no positive quarrel, the heir did not often come to Aylmer Park. Of +his son Frederic he was proud and the best days of his life were +probably those which Captain Aylmer spent at the house. The table was +then somewhat more generously spread, and this was an excuse for having +up the special port in which he delighted. Altogether his life was not +very attractive; and though he bad been born to a baronetcy, and eight +thousand a-year, and the possession of Aylmer Park, I do not think that +he was, or had been, a happy man. + +Lady Aylmer was more fortunate. She had occupations of which her +husband knew nothing, and for which he was altogether unfit. Though she +could not succeed in making retrenchments, the could and did succeed in +keeping the household books. Sir Anthony could only blow up the +servants when they were thoughtless enough to come in his way, and in +doing that was restricted by his wife's presence. But Lady Aylmer could +get at them day and night. She had no gout to impede her progress about +the house and grounds, and could make her way to places which the +master never saw; and then she wrote many letters daily, whereas Sir +Anthony hardly ever took a pen in his hand. And she knew the cottages +of all the poor about the place, and knew also all their sins of +omission and commission. She was driven out, too, every day, summer and +winter, wet and dry, and consumed enormous packets of wool and worsted, +which were sent to her monthly from York. And she had a companion in +her daughter, whereas Sir Anthony had no companion. Wherever Lady +Aylmer went, Miss Aylmer went with her, and relieved what might +otherwise have been the tedium of her life. She had been a beauty on a +large scale, and was still aware that she had much in her personal +appearance which justified pride. She carried herself uprightly, with a +commanding nose and broad forehead; and though the graces of her own +hair had given way to a front, there was something even in the front +which added to her dignity, if it did not make her a handsome woman. + +Miss Aylmer, who was the eldest of the younger generation, and who was +now gently descending from her fortieth year, lacked the strength of +her mother's character, but admired her mother's ways, and followed +Lady Aylmer in all things at a distance. She was very good as indeed +was Lady Aylmer entertaining a high idea of duty, and aware that her +own life admitted of but little self- indulgence. She had no pleasures, +she incurred no expenses ; and was quite alive to the fact that as +Aylmer Park required a regiment of lazy, gormandizing servants to +maintain its position in the county, the Aylmers themselves should not +be lazy, and should not gormandize. No one was more careful with her +few shillings than Miss Aylmer. She had, indeed, abandoned a life's +correspondence with an old friend because she would not pay the postage +on letters to Italy. She knew that it was for the honour of the family +that one of her brothers should sit in Parliament, and was quite +willing to deny herself a new dress because sacrifices must be made to +lessen electioneering expenses. She knew that it was her lot to be +driven about slowly in a carriage with a livery servant before her and +another behind her, and then eat a dinner which the cook-maid would +despise. She was aware that it was her duty to be snubbed by her +mother, and to encounter her father's ill-temper, and to submit to her +brother's indifference, and to have, so to say, the slightest possible +modicum of personal individuality. She knew that she had never +attracted a man's love, and might hardly hope to make friends for the +comfort of her coming age. But still she was contented, and felt that +she had consolation for it all in the fact that she was am. Aylmer. She +read many novels, and it cannot but be supposed that something of +regret would steal over her as she remembered that nothing of the +romance of life had ever, or could ever, come in her way. She wept over +the loves of many women, though she had never been happy or unhappy in +her own. She read of gaiety, though she never encountered it, and must +have known that the world elsewhere was less dull than it was at Aylmer +Park. But she took her life as it came, without a complaint, and prayed +that God would make her humble in the high position to which it had +pleased Him to call her. She hated Radicals, and thought that Essays +and Reviews, and Bishop Colenso, came direct from the Evil One. She +taught the little children in the parish, being specially urgent to +them always to courtesy when they saw any of the family and was as +ignorant, meek, and stupid a poor woman as you shall find anywhere in +Europe. + +It may be imagined that Captain Aylmer, who knew the comforts of his +club and was accustomed to life in London, would feel the dullness of +the paternal roof to be almost unendurable. In truth, he was not very +fond of Aylmer Park, but he was more gifted with patience than most men +of his age and position, and was aware that it behoved him to keep the +Fifth Commandment if he expected to have his own days prolonged in the +land. He therefore made his visits periodically, and contented himself +with clipping a few days at both ends from the length prescribed by +family tradition, which his mother was desirous of exacting. September +was always to be passed at Aylmer Park, because of the shooting. In +September, indeed, the eldest son himself was wont to be there probably +with a friend or two and the fat old servants bestirred themselves, and +there was something of life about the place. At Christmas, Captain +Aylmer was there as the only visitor, and Christmas was supposed to +extend from the middle of December to the opening of Parliament. It +must, however, be explained, that on the present occasion his visit had +been a matter of treaty and compromise. He had not gone to Aylmer Park +at all till his mother had in some sort assented to his marriage with +Clara Amedroz. To this Lady Aylmer had been very averse, and there had +been many serious letters. Belinda Aylmer, the daughter of the house, +had had a bad time in pleading her brother's cause and some very harsh +words had been uttered but ultimately the matter had been arranged, +and, as is usual in such contests, the mother had yielded to the son. +Captain Aylmer had therefore gone down a few days before Christmas, +with a righteous feeling that he owed much to his mother for her +condescension, and almost prepared to make himself very disagreeable to +Clara by way of atoning to his family for his folly in desiring to +marry her. + +Lady Aylmer was very plain-spoken on the subject of all Clara's +shortcomings very plain-spoken, and very inquisitive. 'She will never +have one shilling, I suppose?' she said. + +'Yes, ma'am.' Captain Aylmer always called his mother 'ma'am'. 'She +will have that fifteen hundred pounds that I told you of.' + +'That is to say, you will have back the money which you yourself have +given her, Fred. I suppose that is the English of it?' Then Lady Aylmer +raised her eyebrows and looked very wise. + +'Just so, ma'am.' + +'You can't call that having anything of her own. In point of fact she +is penniless.' + +'It is no good harping on that,' said Captain Aylmer, somewhat sharply. + +'Not in the least, my dear; no good at all. Of course you have looked +it all in the face. You will be a poor man instead of a rich man, but +you will have enough to live on that is if she doesn't have a large +family which of course she will.' + +'I shall do very well, ma'am.' + +'You might do pretty well, I dare say, if you could live privately at +Perivale, keeping up the old family house there, and having no +expenses; but you'll find even that close enough with your seat in +Parliament, and the necessity there is that you should be half the year +in London. Of course she won't go to London. She can't expect it. All +that had better be made quite clear at once.' Hence had come the letter +about the house at Perivale, containing Lady Aylmer's advice on that +subject, as to which Clara made no reply. + +Lady Aylmer, though she had given her assent, was still not altogether +without hope. It might be possible that the two young people could be +brought to see the folly and error of their ways before it would be too +late; and that Lady Aylmer, by a judicious course of constant advice, +might be instrumental in opening the eyes, if not of ,the lady, at any +rate of the gentleman. She had great reliance on her own powers, and +knew well that a falling drop will hollow a stone. Her son manifested +no hot eagerness to complete his folly in a hurry, and to cut the +throat of his prospects out of hand. Time, therefore, would be allowed +to her, and she was a woman who could use time with patience. Having, +through her son, dispatched her advice about the house at Perivale +which which simply amounted to this, that Clara should expressly state +her willingness to live there alone whenever it might suit her husband +to be in London or elsewhere she went to work on other points, +connected with the Amedroz family, and eventually succeeded in learning +something very much like the truth as to poor Mrs Askerton and her +troubles. At first she was so comfortably horror-stricken by the +iniquity she had unravelled so delightfully shocked and astounded as +to believe that the facts as they then stood would suffice to annul the +match. + +'You don't tell me', she said to Belinda, 'that Frederic's wife will +have been the friend of such a woman as that!' And Lady Aylmer, sitting +upstairs with her household books before her, put up her great fat +hands and her great fat arms, and shook her head front and all in most +satisfactory dismay. + +'But I suppose Clara did not know it.' Belinda had considered it to be +an act of charity to call Miss Amedroz Clara since the family consent +had been given. + +'Didn't know it! They have been living in that sort of way that they +must have been confidantes in everything. Besides, I always hold that a +woman is responsible for her female friends.' + +'I think if she consents to drop her at once that is, absolutely to +make a promise that she will never speak to her again Frederic ought to +take that as sufficient. That is, of course, mamma, unless she has had +anything to do with it herself.' + +'After this I don't know how I'm to trust her. I don't indeed. It seems +to me that she has been so artful throughout. It has been a regular +case of catching.' + +'I suppose, of course, that she has been anxious to marry Frederic but +perhaps that was natural.' + +'Anxious look at her going there just when he had to meet his +constituents. How young women can do such things passes me! And how it +is that men don't see it all, when it's going on just under their +noses, I can't understand. And then, her getting my poor dear sister to +speak to him when she was dying! I didn't think your aunt would have +been so weak.' It will be thus seen that there was entire confidence on +this subject between Lady Aylmer and her daughter. + +We know what were the steps taken with reference to the discovery, and +how the family were waiting for Clara's reply. Lady Aylmer, though in +her words she attributed so much mean cunning to Miss Amedroz, still +was disposed to believe that that lady would show rather a high spirit +on this occasion; and trusted to that high spirit as the means for +making the breach which she still hoped to accomplish. It had been +intended or rather desired that Captain Aylmer's letter should have +been much sharper and authoritative than he had really made it; but the +mother could not write the letter herself, and had felt that to write +in her own name would not have served to create anger on Clara's part +against her betrothed. But she had quite succeeded in inspiring her son +with a feeling of horror against the iniquity of the Askertons. He was +prepared to be indignantly moral; and perhaps perhaps the misguided +Clara might be silly enough to say a word for her lost friend! Such +being the present position of affairs, there was certainly ground for +hope. + +And now they were all waiting for Clara's answer. Lady Aylmer had well +calculated the course of post, and knew that a letter might reach them +by Wednesday morning. 'Of course she will not write on Sunday,' she had +said to her son, 'but you have a right to expect that not another day +should go by.' Captain Aylmer, who felt that they were putting Clara on +her trial, shook his head impatiently, and made no immediate answer. +Lady Aylmer, triumphantly feeling that she had the culprit on the hip, +did not care to notice this. She was doing the best she could for his +happiness as she had done for his health, when in days gone by she had +administered to him his infantine rhubarb and early senna; but as she +had never then expected him to like her doses, neither did she now +expect that he should be well pleased at the remedial measures to which +he was to be subjected. + +No letter came on the Wednesday, nor did any come on the Thursday, and +then it was thought by the ladies at the Park that the time had come +for speaking a word or two. Belinda, at her mother's instance, began +the attack not in her mother's presence, but when she only was with her +brother. + +'Isn't it odd, Frederic, that Clara shouldn't write about those people +at Belton?' + +'Somersetshire is the other side of London, and letters take a long +time.' + +'But if she had written on Monday, her answer would have been here on +Wednesday morning indeed, you would have had it Tuesday evening, as +mamma sent over to Whitby for the day mail letters.' Poor Belinda was a +bad lieutenant, and displayed too much of her senior officer's tactics +in thus showing how much calculation and how much solicitude there had +been as to the expected letter. + +'If I am contented I suppose you may be,' said the brother. + +'But it does seem to me to be so very important! If she hasn't got your +letter, you know, it would be so necessary that you should write again, +so that the the the contamination should be stopped as soon as +possible.' Captain Aylmer shook his head and walked away. He was, no +doubt, prepared to be morally indignant morally very indignant at the +Askerton iniquity; but he did not like the word contamination as +applied to his future wife. + +'Frederic,' said his mother, later on the same day when the hardly-used +groom had returned from his futile afternoon's inquiry at the +neighbouring post. town 'I think you should do something in this +affair.' + +'Do what, ma'am? Go off to Belton myself?' + +'No, no. I certainly would not do that. In the first place it would be +very inconvenient to you, and in the next place it would not be fair +upon us. I did not mean that at all. But I think that something should +be done. She should be made to understand.' + +'You may be sure, ma'am, that she understands as well as anybody.' + +'I dare say she is clever enough at these kind of things.' + +'What kind of things?' + +'Don't bite my nose off, Frederic, because I am anxious about your +wife.' + +'What is it that you wish me to do? I have written to her, and can only +wait for her answer.' + +'It may be that she feels a delicacy in writing to you on such a +subject; though I own However, to make a long story short, if you like, +I will write to her myself.' + +'I don't see that that would do any good. It would only give her +offence.' + +'Give her offence, Frederic, to receive a letter from her future +mother-in-law from me! Only think, Frederic, what you are saying.' + +'If she thought she was being bullied about this, she would turn rusty +at once.' + +'Turn rusty! What am I to think of a young lady who is prepared to turn +rusty at once, too because she is cautioned by the mother of the man +she professes to love against an improper acquaintance against an +acquaintance so very improper?' Lady Aylmer's eloquence should have +been heard to be appreciated. It is but tame to say that she raised her +fat arms and fat hands, and wagged her front her front that was the +more formidable as it was the old one, somewhat rough and dishevelled, +which she was wont to wear in the morning. The emphasis of her words +should have been heard, and the fitting solemnity of her action should +have been seen. 'If there were any doubt,' she continued to say, 'but +there is no doubt. There are the damning proofs.' There are certain +words usually confined to the vocabularies of men, which women such as +Lady Aylmer delight to use on special occasions, when strong +circumstances demand strong language. As she said this she put her hand +below the table, pressing it apparently against her own august person; +but she was in truth indicating the position of a certain valuable +correspondence, which was locked up in the drawer of her writing-table. + +'You can write if you like it, of course; but I think you ought to wait +a few more days.' + +'Very well, Frederic; then I will wait. I will wait till Sunday. I do +not wish to take any step of which you do not approve. If you have not +heard by Sunday morning, then I will write to her on Monday.' + +On the Saturday afternoon life was becoming inexpressibly disagreeable +to Captain Aylmer, and he began to meditate an escape from the Park. In +spite of the agreement between him and his mother, which he understood +to signify that nothing more was to be said as to Clara's wickedness, +at any rate till Sunday after post-hour, Lady Aylmer had twice attacked +him on the Saturday, and had expressed her opinion that affairs were in +a very frightful position. Belinda went about the house in melancholy +guise, with her eyes rarely lifted off the ground, as though she were +prophetically weeping the utter ruin of her brother's respectability. +And even Sir Anthony had raised his eyes and shaken his head, when, on +opening the post-bag at the breakfast-table an operation which was +always performed by Lady Aylmer in person her ladyship had exclaimed, +'again no letter!' Then Captain Aylmer thought that he would fly, and +resolved that, in the event of such flight, he would give special +orders as to the re-direction of his own letters from the post-office +at Whitby. + +That evening, after dinner, as soon as his mother and sister had left +the room, he began the subject with his father. 'I think I shall go up +to town on Monday, sir,' said he. + +'So soon as that. I thought you were to stop till the 9th.' + +'There are things I must see to in London, and I believe I had better +go at once.' + +'Your mother will be greatly disappointed.' + +'I shall be sorry for that but business is business, you know.' Then +the father filled his glass and passed the bottle. He himself did not +at all like the idea of his son's going before the appointed time, but +he did not say a word of himself. He looked at the red-hot coals, and a +hazy glimmer of a thought passed through his mind, that he too would +escape from Aylmer Park if it were possible. + +'If you'll allow me, I'll take the dog-cart over to Whitby on Monday, +for the express train.' + +'You can do that certainly, but' + +'Sir?' + +'Have you spoken to your mother yet?' + +'Not yet. I will to-night.' + +'I think she'll be a little angry, Fred.' There was a sudden tone of +subdued confidence in the old man's voice as he made this suggestion, +which, though it was by no means a customary tone, his son well +understood. 'Don't you think she will be eh, a little?' + +'She shouldn't go on as she does with me about Clara,' said the captain. + +'Ah I supposed there was something of that. Are you drinking port? + +'Of course I know that she means all that is good,' said the son, +passing back the bottle. + +'Oh yes she means all that is good.' + +'She is the best mother in the world.' + +'You may say that, Fred and the best wife.' + +'But if she can't have her own way altogether ' then the son paused, +and the father shook his head. + +'Of course she likes to have her own way,' said Sir Anthony. + +'It's all very well in some things.' + +'Yes it's very well in some things' + +'But there are things which a man must decide for himself.' + +'I suppose there are,' said Sir Anthony, not venturing to think what +those things might be as regarded himself. + +'Now, with reference to marrying' + +'I don't know what you want with marrying at all, Fred. You ought to be +very happy as you are. By heavens, I don't know any one who ought to be +happier. If I were you, I know' + +'But you see, sir, that's all settled.' + +'If it's all settled, I suppose there's an end of it.' + +'It's no good my mother nagging at one.' + +'My dear boy, she's been nagging at me, as you call it, for forty +years. That's her way. The best woman in the world, as we were saying +but that's her way. And it's the way with most of them. They can do +anything if they keep it up anything. The best thing is to bear it if +you've got it to bear. But why on earth you should go and marry, seeing +that you're not the eldest son, and that you've got everything on earth +that you want as a bachelor, I can't understand. I can't indeed, Fred. +By heaven, I can't!' Then Sir Anthony gave a long sigh, and sat musing +awhile, thinking of the club in London to which he belonged, but which +he never entered of the old days in which he had been master of a +bedroom near St. James's Street of his old friends whom he never saw +now, and of whom he never heard, except as one and another, year after +year, shuffled away from their wives to that world in which there is no +marrying or giving in marriage. Ah, well,' he said, 'I suppose we may +as well go into the drawing-room. If it is settled, I suppose it is +settled. But it really seems to me that your mother is trying to do the +best she can for you. It really does.' + +Captain Aylmer did not say anything to his mother that night as to his +going, but as he thought of his prospects in the solitude of his +bedroom, he felt really grateful to his father for the solicitude which +Sir Anthony had displayed on his behalf. It was not often that he +received paternal counsel, but now that it had come he acknowledged its +value. That Clara Amedroz was a self-willed woman he thought that he +was aware. She was self-reliant, at any rate and by no means ready to +succumb with that pretty feminine docility which he would like to have +seen her evince. He certainly would not wish to be 'nagged' by his wife +Indeed he knew himself well enough to assure himself that he would not +stand it for a day. In his own house he would be master, and if there +came tempests he would rule them. He could at least promise himself +that. As his mother had been strong, so had his father been weak. But +he had as he felt thankful in knowing inherited his mother's strength +rather than his father's weakness. But, for all that, why have a +tempest to rule at all? Even though a man do rule his domestic +tempests, he cannot have a very quiet house with them. Then again he +remembered how very easily Clara had been won. He wished to be just to +all men and women, and to Clara among the number. He desired even to be +generous to her with a moderate generosity. But above all things he +desired not to be duped. What if Clara had in truth instigated her aunt +to that deathbed scene, as his mother had more than once suggested! He +did not believe it. He was sure that it had not been so. But what if it +were so? His desire to be generous and trusting was moderate but his +desire not to be cheated, not to be deceived, was immoderate. Upon the +whole might it not be well for him to wait a little longer, and +ascertain how Clara really intended to behave herself in this emergency +of the Askertons? Perhaps, after all, his mother might be right. + +On the Sunday the expected letter came but before its contents are made +known, it will be well that we should go back to Belton, and see what +was done by Clara in reference to the tidings which her lover had sent +her. + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +MRS ASKERTON'S STORY + +When Clara received the letter from Captain Aylmer on which so much is +supposed to hang, she made up her mind to say nothing of it to any one +not to think of it if she could avoid thinking of it till her cousin +should have left her. She could not mention it to him; for, though +there was no one from whom she would sooner have asked advice than from +him, even on so delicate a matter as this, she could not do so in the +present case, as her informant was her cousin's successful rival. When, +therefore, Mrs Askerton on leaving the church had spoken some customary +word to Clara, begging her to come to the cottage on the following day, +Clara had been unable to answer not having as yet made up her mind +whether she would or would not go to the cottage again. Of course the +idea of consulting her father occurred to her or rather the idea of +telling him; but any such telling would lead to some advice from him +which she would find it difficult to obey, and to which she would be +unable to trust. And, moreover, why should she repeat this evil story +against her neighbours? + +She had a long morning by herself after Will had started, and then she +endeavoured to arrange her thoughts and lay down for herself a line of +conduct. Presuming this story to be true, to what did it amount? It +certainly amounted to very much. If, in truth, this woman had left her +own husband and gone away to live with another man, she had by doing so +at any rate while she was doing so fallen in such a way as to make +herself unfit for the society of an unmarried young woman who meant to +keep her name unblemished before the world. Clara would not attempt any +further unravelling of the case, even in her own mind but on that point +she could not allow herself to have a doubt. Without condemning the +unhappy victim, she understood well that she would owe it to all those +who held her dear, if not to herself, to eschew any close intimacy with +one in such a position. The rules of the world were too plainly written +to allow her to guide herself by any special judgment of her own in +such a matter. But if this friend of hers having been thus unfortunate +had since redeemed, or in part redeemed, her position by a second +marriage, would it be then imperative upon her to remember the past for +ever, and to declare that the stain was indelible? Clara felt that with +a previous knowledge of such a story she would probably have avoided +any intimacy with Mrs Askerton. She would then have been justified in +choosing whether such intimacy should or should not exist, and would so +have chosen out of deference to the world's opinion. But now it was too +late for that. Mrs Askerton had for years been her friend; and Clara +had to ask herself this question: was it now needful did her own +feminine purity demand that she should throw her friend over because in +past years her life had been tainted by misconduct. + +It was clear enough at any rate that this was expected from her nay, +imperatively demanded by him who was to be her lord by him to whom her +future obedience would be due. Whatever might be her immediate +decision, he would have a right to call upon her to be guided by his +judgment as soon as she would become his wife. And indeed, she felt +that he had such right now unless she should decide that no such right +should be his, now or ever. It was still within her power to say that +she could not submit herself to such a rule as his but having received +his commands she must do that or obey them. Then she declared to +herself, not following the matter out logically, but urged to her +decision by sudden impulse, that at any rate she would not obey Lady +Aylmer. She would have nothing to do, in any such matter, with Lady +Aylmer. Lady Aylmer should be no god to her. That question about the +house at Perivale had been very painful to her. She felt that she could +have endured the dreary solitude at Perivale without complaint, if, +after her marriage, her husband's circumstances had made such a mode of +living expedient. But to have been asked to pledge her consent to such +a life before her marriage, to feel that he was bargaining for the +privilege of being rid of her, to know that the Aylmer people were +arranging that he, if he would marry her, should be as little troubled +with his wife as possible all this had been very grievous to her. She +had tried to console herself by the conviction that Lady Aylmer not +Frederic had been the sinner; but even in that consolation there had +been the terrible flaw that the words had come to her written by +Frederic's hand. Could Will Belton have written such a letter to his +future wife? + +In her present emergency she must be guided by her own judgment or her +own instincts not by any edicts from Aylmer Park! If in what she might +do she should encounter the condemnation of Captain Aylmer, she would +answer him she would be driven to answer him by counter-condemnation of +him and his mother. Let it be so. Anything would be better than a mean, +truckling subservience to the imperious mistress of Aylmer Park. + +But what should she do as regarded Mrs Askerton? That the story was +true she was beginning to believe. That there was some such history was +made certain to her by the promise which Mrs Askerton had given her. + +'If you want to ask any questions, and will ask them of me, I will +answer them.' Such a promise would not have been volunteered unless +there was something special to be told. It would be best, perhaps, to +demand from Mrs Askerton the fulfilment of this promise. But then in +doing so she must own from whence her information had come. Mrs +Askerton had told her that the 'communication' would be made by her +Cousin Will. Her Cousin Will had gone away without a word of Mrs +Askerton, and now the 'communication' had come from Captain Aylmer! + +The Monday and Tuesday were rainy days, and the rain was some excuse +for her not going to the cottage. On the Wednesday her father was ill, +and his illness made a further excuse for her remaining at home. But on +the Wednesday evening there came a note to her from Mrs Askerton. 'You +naughty girl, why do you not come to me? Colonel Askerton has been away +since yesterday morning, and I am forgetting the sound of my own voice. +I did not trouble you when your divine cousin was here for reasons; but +unless you come to me now I shall think that his divinity has +prevailed. Colonel Askerton is in Ireland, about some property, and +will not be back till next week.' + +Clara sent back a promise by the messenger, and on the following +morning she put on her hat and shawl, and started on her dreaded task. +When she left the house she had not even yet quite made up her mind +what she would do. At first she put her lover's letter into her pocket, +so that she might have it for reference; but, on second thoughts, she +replaced it in her desk, dreading lest she might be persuaded into +showing or reading some part of it. There had come a sharp frost after +the rain, and the ground was hard and dry. In order that she might gain +some further last moment for thinking, she walked round, up among the +rocks, instead of going straight to the cottage; and for a moment +though the air was sharp with frost she sat upon the stone where she +had been seated when her Cousin Will blurted out the misfortune of his +heart. She sat there on purpose that she might think of him, and recall +his figure, and the tones of his voice, and the look of his eyes, and +the gesture of his face. What a man he was so tender, yet so strong; so +thoughtful of others, and yet so self- sufficient! She had, +unconsciously, imputed to him one fault, that he had loved and then +forgotten his love unconsciously, for she had tried to think that this +was a virtue rather than a fault but now with a full knowledge of what +she was doing, but without any intention of doing it she acquitted him +of that one fault. Now that she could acquit him, she owned that it +would have been a fault. To have loved, and so soon to have forgotten +it! No; he had loved her truly, and alas! he was one who could not be +made to forget it. Then she went on to the cottage, exercising her +thoughts rather on the contrast between the two men than on the subject +to which she should have applied them. + +'So you have come at last!' said Mrs Askerton. 'Till I got your message +I thought there was to be some dreadful misfortune.' + +'What misfortune?' + +'Something dreadful! One often anticipates something very bad without +exactly knowing what. At least, I do. I am always expecting a +catastrophe when I am alone that is and then I am so often alone.' + +'That simply means low spirits, I suppose?' + +'It's more than that, my dear.' + +'Not much more, I take it.' + +'Once when we were in India we lived close to the powder magazine, and +we were always expecting to be blown up. You never lived near a powder +magazine.' + +'No, never unless there's one at Belton. But I should have thought that +was exciting.' + +'And then there was the gentleman who always had the sword hanging over +him by the horse's hair.' + +'What do you mean, Mrs Askerton?' + +'Don't look so innocent, Clara. You know what I mean. What were the +results at last of your cousin's diligence as a detective officer?' + +'Mrs Askerton, you wrong my cousin greatly. He never once mentioned +your name while he was with us. He did not make a single allusion to +you, or to Colonel Askerton, or to the cottage.' + +'He did not?' + +'Never once.' + +'Then I beg his pardon. But not the less has he been busy making +inquiries.' + +'But why should you say that there is a powder magazine, or a sword +hanging over your head?' + +'Ah, why?' + +Here was the subject ready opened to her hand, and yet Clara did not +know how to go on with it. It seemed to her now that it would have been +easier for her to commence it, if Mrs Askerton had made no commencement +herself. As it was, she knew not how to introduce the subject of +Captain Aylmer's letter, and was almost inclined to wait, thinking that +Mrs Askerton might tell her own story without any such introduction. +But nothing of the kind was forthcoming. Mrs Askerton began to talk of +the frost, and then went on to abuse Ireland, complaining of the +hardship her husband endured in being forced to go thither in winter to +look after his tenants. + +'What did you mean', said Clara, at last, 'by the sword hanging over +your head?' + +'I think I told you what I meant pretty plainly. If you did not +understand me I cannot tell you more plainly.' + +'It is odd that you should say so much, and not wish to say more.' + +'Ah! you are making your inquiries now.' + +'In my place would not you do so too? How can I help it when you talked +of a sword? Of course you make me ask what the sword is.' + +'And am I bound to satisfy your curiosity?' + +'You told me, just before my cousin came here, that if I asked any +question you would answer me.' + +'And I am to understand that you are asking such a question now?' + +'Yes if it will not offend you.' + +'But what if it will offend me offend me greatly? Who likes to be +inquired into?' + +'But you courted such inquiry from me.' + +'No, Clara, I did not do that. I'll tell you what I did. I gave you to +understand that if it was needful that you should hear about me and my +antecedents certain matters as to which Mr Belton had been inquiring +into in a manner that I thought to be most unjustifiable I would tell +you that story.' + +'And do so without being angry with me for asking.' + +'I meant, of course, that I would not make it a ground for quarrelling +with you. If I wished to tell you, I could do so without any inquiry.' + +'I have sometimes thought that you did wish to tell me.' + +'Sometimes I have almost.' + +'But you have no such wish now?' + +'Can't you understand? It may well be that one so much alone as I am +living here without a female friend, or even acquaintance, except +yourself should often feel a longing for that comfort which full +confidence between us would give me.' + +'Then why not' + +'Stop a moment. Can't you understand that I may feel this, and yet +entertain the greatest horror against inquiry? We all like to tell our +own sorrows, but who likes to be inquired into? Many a woman burns to +make a full confession, who would be as mute as death before a +policeman.' + +'I am no policeman.' + +'But you are determined to ask a policeman's questions?' + +To this Clara made no immediate reply. She felt that she was acting +almost falsely in going on with such questions, while she was in fact +aware of all the circumstances which Mrs Askerton could tell but she +did not know how to declare her knowledge and to explain it. She +sincerely wished that Mrs Askerton should be made acquainted with the +truth; but she had fallen into a line of conversation which did not +make her own task easy. But the idea of her own hypocrisy was +distressing to her, and she rushed at the difficulty with hurried, +eager words, resolving that, at any rate, there should be no longer any +doubt between them. + +'Mrs Askerton,' she said, 'I know it all. There is nothing for you to +tell. I know what the sword is.' + +'What is it that you know?' + +'That you were married long ago to Mr Berdmore.' + +'Then Mr Belton did do me the honour of talking about me when he was +here?' As she said this she rose from her chair, and stood before Clara +with flashing eyes. + +'Not a word. He never mentioned your name, or the name of any one +belonging to you. I have heard it from another.' + +'From what other?' + +'I do not know that that signifies but I have learned it.' + +'Well and what next?' + +'I do not know what next. As so much has been told me, and as you had +said that I might ask you, I have come to you, yourself. I shall +believe your own story more thoroughly from yourself than from any +other teller.' + +'And suppose I refuse to answer you?' + +'Then I can say nothing further.' + +'And what will you do?' + +'Ah that I do not know. But you are harsh to me, while I am longing to +be kind to you. Can you not see that this has been all forced upon me +partly by yourself?' + +'And the other part who has forced that upon you? Who is your +informant? If you mean to be generous, be generous altogether. Is it a +man or a woman that has taken the trouble to rip up old sorrows that my +name may be blackened? But what matters? There I was married to Captain +Berdmore. I left him, and went away with my present husband. For three +years I was a man's mistress, and not his wife. When that poor creature +died we were married, and then came here. Now you know it all all all +though doubtless your informant has made a better story of it. After +that, perhaps, I have been very wicked to sully the air you breathe by +my presence.' + +'Why do you say that to me?' + +'But no you do not know it all. No one can ever know it all. No one can +ever know how I suffered before I was driven to escape, or how good to +me has been he who who who ' Then she turned her back upon Clara, and, +walking off to the window, stood there, hiding the tears which clouded +her eyes, and concealing the sobs which choked her utterance. + +For some moments for a space which seemed long to both of them Clara +kept her seat in silence. She hardly dared to speak; and though she +longed to show her sympathy, she knew not what to say. At last she too +rose and followed the other to the window. She uttered no words, +however, but gently putting her arm around Mrs Askerton's waist, stood +there close to her, looking out upon the cold wintry flower-beds not +venturing to turn her eyes upon her companion. The motion of her arm +was at first very gentle, but after a while she pressed it closer, and +thus by degrees drew her friend to her with an eager, warm, and +enduring pressure. Mrs Askerton made some little effort towards +repelling her, some faint motion of resistance; but as the embrace +became warmer the poor woman yielded herself to it, and allowed her +face to fall upon Clara's shoulder. So they stood, speaking no word, +making no attempt to rid themselves of the tears which were blinding +their eyes, but gazing out through the moisture on the bleak wintry +scene before them. Clara's mind was the more active at the moment, for +she was resolving that in this episode of her life she would accept no +lesson whatever from Lady Aylmer's teaching no, nor any lesson whatever +from the teaching of any Aylmer in existence. And as for the world's +rules, she would fit herself to them as best she could; but no such +fitting should drive her to the unwomanly cruelty of deserting this +woman whom she had known and loved and whom she now loved with a +fervour which she had never before felt towards her. + +'You have heard it all now,' said Mrs Askerton at last. + +'And is it not better so?' + +'Ah I do not know. How should I know?' + +'Do you not know?' And as she spoke, Clara pressed her arm still +closer. 'Do you not know yet?' Then, turning herself half round, she +clasped the other woman full in her arms, and kissed her forehead and +her lips. + +'Do you not know yet?' + +'But you will go away, and people will tell you that you are wrong.' + +'What people?' said Clara, thinking as she spoke of the whole family at +Aylmer Park. + +'Your husband will tell you so.' + +'I have no husband as yet to order me what to think or what not to +think.' + +'No not quite as yet. But you will tell him all this.' + +'He knows it. It was he who told me. + +'What! Captain Aylmer?' + +'Yes; Captain Aylmer.' + +'And what did he say?' + +'Never mind. Captain Aylmer is not my husband not as yet. If he takes +me, he must take me as I am, not as he might possibly have wished me to +be. Lady Aylmer' + +'And does Lady Aylmer know it?' + +'Yes. Lady Aylmer is one of those hard, severe women who never forgive.' + +'Ah, I see it all now. I understand it all. Clara, you must forget me, +and come here no more. You shall not be ruined because you are +generous.' + +'Ruined! If Lady Aylmer's displeasure can ruin me, I must put up with +ruin. I will not accept her for my guide. I am too old, and have had my +own way too long. Do not let that thought trouble you. In this matter I +shall judge for myself. I have judged for myself already.' + +'And your father?' + +'Papa knows nothing of it.' + +'But you will tell him?' + +'I do not know. Poor papa is very ill. If he were well I would tell +him, and he would think as I do.' + +'And your cousin?' + +'You say that he has heard it all.' + +'I think so. Do you know that I remembered him the first moment that I +saw him? But what could I do? When you mentioned to me my old name, my +real name, how could I be honest? I have been driven to do that which +has made honesty to me impossible. My life has been a lie; and yet how +could I help it? I must live somewhere and how could I live anywhere +without deceit?' + +'And yet that is so sad.' + +'Sad indeed! But what could I do? Of course I was wrong in the +beginning. Though how am I to regret it, when it has given me such a +husband as I have? Ah if you could know it all, I think I think you +would forgive me.' + +Then by degrees she told it all, and Clara was there for hours +listening to her story. The reader will not care to hear more of it +than he has heard. Nor would Clara have desired any closer revelation; +but as it is often difficult to obtain a confidence, so is it +impossible to stop it in the midst of its effusion. Mrs Askerton told +the history of her life of her first foolish engagement, her belief, +her half-belief, in the man's reformation, of the miseries which +resulted from his vices, of her escape and shame, of her welcome +widowhood, and of her second marriage. And as she told it, she paused +at every point to insist on the goodness of him who was now her +husband. 'I shall tell him this,' she said at last. 'as I do +everything; and then he will know that I have in truth got a friend.' + +She asked again and again about Mr Belton, but Clara could only tell +her that she knew nothing of her cousin's knowledge. Will might have +heard it all, but if so he had kept his information to himself. + +'And now what shall you do?' Mrs Askerton asked of Clara, at length +prepared to go. + +'Do? in what way? I shall do nothing.' + +'But you will write to Captain Aylmer?' + +'Yes I shall write to him.' + +'And about this?' + +'Yes I suppose I must write to him.' + +'And what will you say?' + +'That I cannot tell. I wish I knew what to say. If it were to his +mother I could write my letter easily enough.' + +'And what would you say to her?' + +'I would tell her that I was responsible for my own friends. But I must +go now. Papa will complain that I am so long away.' Then there was +another embrace, and at last Clara found her way out of the house and +was alone again in the park. + +She clearly acknowledged to herself that she had a great difficulty +before her. She had committed herself altogether to Mrs Askerton, and +could no longer entertain any thought of obeying the very plainly +expressed commands which Captain Aylmer had given her. The story as +told by Captain Aylmer had been true throughout; but, in the teeth of +that truth, she intended to maintain her acquaintance with Mrs +Askerton. From that there was now no escape. She had been carried away +by impulse in what she had done and said at the cottage, but she could +not bring herself to regret it. She could not believe that it was her +duty to throw over and abandon a woman whom she loved, because that +woman had once, in her dire extremity, fallen away from the path of +virtue. But how was she to write the letter? + +When she reached her father he complained of her absence, and almost +scolded her for having been so long at the cottage. 'I cannot see', +said he, 'what you find in that woman to make so much of her.' + +'She is the only neighbour I have, papa.' + +'And better none than her, if all that people say of her is true.' + +'All that people say is never true, papa.' + +'There is no smoke without fire. I am not at all sure that it's good +for you to be so much with her.' + +'Oh, papa don't treat me like a child.' + +'And I'm sure it's not good for me that you should be so much away. For +anything I have seen of you all day you might have been at Perivale. +But you are going soon, altogether, so I suppose I may as well make up +my mind to it.' + +'I'm not going for a long time yet, papa.' + +'What do you mean by that?' + +'I mean that there's nothing to take me away from here at present.' + +'You are engaged to be married.' + +'But it will be a long engagement. It is one of those engagements in +which neither party is very anxious for an immediate change.' There was +something bitter in Clara's tone as she said this, which the old man +perceived, but could only half understand. Clara remained with him then +for the rest of the day, going down-stairs for five minutes to her +dinner, and then returning to him and reading aloud while he dozed. Her +winter evenings at Belton Castle were not very bright, but she was used +to them and made no complaint. + +When she left her father for the night she got out her desk and +prepared herself for her letter to her lover. She was determined that +it should be finished that night before she went to bed. And it was so +finished; though the writing of it gave her much labour, and occupied +her till the late hours had come upon her. When completed it was as +follows: + +'Belton Castle, + +Thursday Night. + +Dear Frederic I received your letter last Sunday, but I could not +answer it sooner, as it required much consideration, and also some +information which I have only obtained today. About the plan of living +at Perivale I will not say much now, as my mind is so full of other +things. I think, however, I may promise that I will never make any +needless difficulty as to your plans. My cousin Will left us on Monday, +so your mother need not have any further anxiety on that head. It does +papa good to have him here, and for that reason I am sorry that he has +gone. I can assure you that I don't think what you said about him meant +anything at all particular. Will is my nearest cousin, and of course +you would be glad that I should like him which I do, very much. + +And now about the other subject, which I own has distressed me, as you +supposed it would I mean about Mrs Askerton. I find it very difficult +in your letter to divide what comes from your mother and what from +yourself. Of course I want to make the division, as every word from you +has great weight with me. At present I don't know Lady Aylmer +personally, and I cannot think of her as I do of you. Indeed, were I to +know her ever so well, I could not have the same deference for her that +I have for the man who is to be my husband. I only say this, as I fear +that Lady Aylmer and I may not perhaps agree about Mrs Askerton. + +I find that your story about Mrs Askerton is in the main true. But the +person who told it you does not seem to have known any of the +provocations which she received. She was very badly treated by Captain +Berdmore, who, I am afraid, was a terrible drunkard; and at last she +found it impossible to stay with him. So she went away. I cannot tell +you how horrid it all was, but I am sure that if I could make you +understand it, it would go a long way in inducing you to excuse her. +She was married to Colonel Askerton as soon as Captain Berdmore died, +and this took place before she came to Belton. I hope you will remember +that. It all occurred out in India, and I really hardly know what +business we have to inquire about it now. + +At any rate, as I have been acquainted with her a long time, and very +intimately, and as I am sure that she has repented of anything that has +been wrong, I do not think that I ought to quarrel with her now. Indeed +I have promised her that I will not. I think I owe it you to tell you +the whole truth, and that is the truth. + +Pray give my regards to your mother, and tell her that I am sure she +would judge differently if she were in my place. This poor woman has no +other friend here; and who am I, that I should take upon myself to +condemn her? I cannot do it. Dear Frederic, pray do not be angry with +me for asserting my own will in this matter. I think you would wish me +to have an opinion of my own. In my present position I am bound to have +one, as I am, as yet, responsible for what I do myself. I shall be +very, very sorry, if I find that you differ from me; but still I cannot +be made to think that I am wrong. I wish you were here, that we might +talk it over together, as I think that in that case you would agree +with me. + +If you can manage to come to us at Easter, or any other time when +Parliament does not keep you in London, we shall be so delighted to see +you. + +Dear Frederic, + +Yours very affectionately, + +Clara Amedroz.' + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +MISS AMEDROZ HAS ANOTHER CHANCE + +It was on a Sunday morning that Clara's letter reached Aylmer Park, +and Frederic Aylmer found it on his plate as he took his place at the +breakfast-table. Domestic habits at Aylmer Park had grown with the +growth of years till they had become adamantine, and domestic habits +required prayers every morning at a quarter before nine o'clock. At +twenty minutes before nine Lady Aylmer would always be in the +dining-room to make the tea and open the post-bag, and as she was +always there alone, she knew more about other people's letters than +other people ever knew about hers. When these operations were over she +rang the bell, and the servants of the family, who by that time had +already formed themselves into line in the hail, would march in, and +settle themselves on benches prepared for them near the sideboard which +benches were afterwards carried away by the retiring procession. Lady +Aylmer herself always read prayers, as Sir Anthony never appeared till +the middle of breakfast. Belinda would usually come down in a scurry as +she heard her mother's bell, in such a way as to put the army in the +hail to some confusion; but Frederic Aylmer, when he was at home, +rarely entered the room till after the service was over. At Perivale no +doubt he was more strict in his conduct; but then at Perivale he had +special interests and influences which were wanting to him at Aylmer +Park. During those five minutes Lady Aylmer would deal round the +letters to the several plates of the inmates of her house not without +looking at the post-office marks upon them; and on this occasion she +had dealt a letter from Clara to her son. + +The arrival of the letter was announced to Frederic Aylmer before he +took his seat. + +'Frederic,' said her ladyship, in her most portentous voice, 'I am glad +to say that at last there is a letter from Belton.' + +He made no immediate reply, but making his way slowly to his place, +took up the little packet, turned it over in his hand, and then put it +into his pocket. Having done this, he began very slowly with his tea +and egg. For three minutes his mother was contented to make, or to +pretend to make, some effort in the same direction. Then her impatience +became too much for her, and she began to question him. + +'Will you not read it, Frederic?' + +'Of course I shall, ma'am.' + +'But why not do so now, when you know how anxious we are?' + +'There are letters which one would sooner read in private.' + +'But when a matter is of so much importance ,' said Belinda. + +'The importance, Bel, is to me, and not to you,' said her brother. + +'All we want to know is,' continued the sister, 'that she promises to +be guided by you in this matter; and of course we feel quite sure that +she will.' + +'If you are quite sure that must be sufficient for you.' + +'I really think you need not quarrel with your sister,' said Lady +Aylmer, 'because she is anxious as to the the respectability, I must +say, for there is no other word, of a young lady whom you propose to +make your wife. I can assure you that I am very anxious myself very +anxious indeed.' + +Captain Aylmer made no answer to this, but he did not take the letter +from his pocket. He drank his tea in silence, and in silence sent up +his cup to be refilled. In silence also was it returned to him. He ate +his two eggs and his three bits of toast, according to his custom, and +when he had finished, sat out his three or four minutes as was usual. +Then be got up to retire to his room, with the envelope still unbroken +in his pocket. + +'You will go to church with us, I suppose?' said Lady Aylmer. + +'I won't promise, ma'am; but if I do, I'll walk across the park so that +you need not wait for me.' + +Then both the mother and sister knew that the Member for Perivale did +not intend to go to church on that occasion. To morning service Sir +Anthony always went, the habits of Aylmer Park having in them more of +adamant in reference to him than they had as regarded his son. + +When the father, mother, and daughter returned, Captain Aylmer had read +his letter, and bad, after doing so, received further tidings from +Belton Castle further tidings which for the moment prevented the +necessity of any reference to the letter, and almost drove it from his +own thoughts. When his mother entered the library he was standing +before the fire with a scrap of paper in his hand. + +'Since you have been at church there has come a telegraphic message,' +he said. + +'What is it, Frederic? Do not frighten me if you can avoid it!' + +'You need not be frightened, ma'am, for you did not know him. Mr +Amedroz is dead.' + +'No!' said Lady Aylmer, seating herself. + +'Dead!' said Belinda, holding up her hands. + +'God bless my soul!' said the baronet, who had now followed the ladies +into the room. 'Dead! Why, Fred, he was five years younger than I am!' + +Then Captain Aylmer read the words of the message ' Mr Amedroz died +this morning at five o'clock. I have sent word to the lawyer and to Mr +Belton.' + +'Who does it come from?' asked Lady Aylmer. + +'From Colonel Askerton.' + +Lady Aylmer paused, and shook her head, and moved her foot uneasily +upon the carpet. The tidings, as far as they went, might be +unexceptionable, but the source from whence they had come had evidently +polluted them in her ladyship's judgment. Then she uttered a series of +inter-ejaculations, expressions of mingled sorrow and anger. + +'There was no one else near her,' said Captain Aylmer apologetically. + +'Is there no clergyman in the parish?' + +'He lives a long way off. The message had to be sent at once.' + +'Are there no servants in the house? It looks it looks . But I am the +last person in the world to form a harsh judgment of a young woman at +such a moment as this. What did she say in her letter, Fred?' + +Captain Aylmer had devoted two hours of consideration to the letter +before the telegram had come to relieve his mind by a fresh subject, +and in those two hours he had not been able to extract much of comfort +out of the document. It was, as he felt, a stubborn, stiff-necked, +disobedient, almost rebellious letter. It contained a manifest defiance +of his mother, and exhibited doctrines of most questionable morality. +It had become to him a matter of doubt whether he could possibly marry +a woman who could entertain such ideas and write such a letter. If the +doubt was to be decided in his own mind against Clara, he had better +show the letter at once to his mother, and allow her ladyship to fight +the battle for him a task which, as he well knew, her ladyship would +not be slow to undertake. But he had not succeeded in answering the +question satisfactorily to himself when the telegram arrived and +diverted all his thoughts. Now that Mr Amedroz was dead, the whole +thing might be different. Clara would come away from Belton and Mrs +Askerton, and begin life, as it were, afresh It seemed as though in +such an emergency she ought to have another chance; and therefore he +did not hasten to pronounce his judgment. Lady Aylmer also felt +something of this, and forbore to press her question when it was not +answered. + +'She will have to leave Belton now, I suppose?' said Sir Anthony. + +'The property will belong to a distant cousin a Mr William Belton.' + +'And where will she go?' said Lady Aylmer. 'I suppose she has no place +that she can call her home?' + +'Would it not be a good thing to ask her here?' said Belinda. Such a +question as that was very rash on the part of Miss Aylmer. In the first +place, the selection of guests for Aylmer Park was rarely left to her; +and in this special case she should have understood that such a +proposal should have been fully considered by Lady Aylmer before it +reached Frederic's ears. + +'I think it would be a very good plan,' said Captain Aylmer, generously. + +Lady Aylmer shook her head. 'I should like much to know what she has +said about that unfortunate connexion before I offer to take her by the +hand myself. I'm sure Fred will feel that I ought to do so.' + +But Fred retreated from the room without showing the letter. He +retreated from the room and betook himself to solitude, that he might +again endeavour to make up his mind as to what he would do. He put on +his hat and his great-coat and gloves, and went off without his +luncheon that he might consider it all. Clara Amedroz had now no home +and, indeed, very little means of providing one. If he intended that +she should be his wife, he must furnish her with a home at once. It +seemed to him that three houses might possibly be open to her of which +one, the only one which under such circumstances would be proper, was +Aylmer Park. The other two were Plaistow Hall and Mrs Askerton's +cottage at Belton. As to the latter should she ever take shelter there, +everything must be over between him and her. On that point there could +be no doubt. He could not bring himself to marry a wife out of Mrs +Askerton's drawing-room, nor could he expect his mother to receive a +young woman brought into the family under such circumstances. And +Plaistow Hall was almost as bad. It was as bad to him, though it would, +perhaps, be less objectionable in the eyes of Lady Aylmer. Should Clara +go to Plaistow Hall there must be an end to everything. Of that also he +taught himself to be quite certain. Then he took out Clara's letter and +read it again. She acknowledged the story about the woman to be true +such a story as it was too and yet refused to quarrel with the woman +had absolutely promised the woman not to quarrel with her! Then he read +and re-read the passage in which Clara claimed the right of forming her +own opinion in such matters. Nothing could be more indelicate nothing +more unfit for his wife. He began to think that he had better show the +letter to his mother, and acknowledge that the match must be broken +off. That softening of his heart which had followed upon the receipt of +the telegraphic message departed from him as he dwelt upon the +stubborn, stiff-necked, unfeminine obstinacy of the letter. Then he +remembered that nothing had as yet been done towards putting his aunt's +fifteen hundred pounds absolutely into Clara's hands; and he remembered +also that she might at the present moment be in great want. William +Belton might, not improbably, assist her in her want, and this idea was +wormwood to him in spite of his almost formed resolution to give up his +own claims. He calculated that the income arising from fifteen hundred +pounds would be very small, and he wished that he had counselled his +aunt to double the legacy. He thought very much about the amount of the +money and the way in which it might be beat expended, and was, after +his cold fashion, really solicitous as to Clara's welfare. If he could +have fashioned her future life, and his own too, in accordance with his +own now existing wishes, I think he would have arranged that neither of +them should marry at all, and that to him should be assigned the duty +and care of being Clara's protector with full permission to tell her +his mind as often as he pleased on the subject of Mrs Askerton. Then he +went in and wrote a note to Mr Green, the lawyer, desiring that the +interest of the fifteen hundred pounds for one year might be at once +remitted to Miss Amedroz. He knew that he ought to write to her himself +immediately, without loss of a post; but how was he to write while +things were in their present position? Were he now to condole with her +on her father's death, without any reference to the great Askerton +iniquity, he would thereby be condoning all that was past, and +acknowledging the truth and propriety of her arguments. And he would be +doing even worse than that. He would be cutting the ground absolutely +from beneath his own feet as regarded that escape from his engagement +which he was contemplating. + +What a cold-hearted, ungenerous wretch he must have been! That will be +the verdict against him. But the verdict will be untrue. Cold-hearted +and ungenerous he was; but he was no wretch as men and women are +now-a-days called wretches. He was chilly hearted, but yet quite +capable of enough love to make him a good son, a good husband, and a +good father too. And though he was ungenerous from the nature of his +temperament, he was not close-fisted or over covetous. And he was a +just man, desirous of obtaining nothing that was not fairly his own. +But, in truth, the artists have been so much in the habit of painting +for us our friends' faces without any of those flaws and blotches with +which work and high living are apt to disfigure us, that we turn in +disgust from a portrait in which the roughnesses and pimples are made +apparent. + +But it was essential that he should now do something, and before he sat +down to dinner he did show Clara's letter to his mother. 'Mother,' he +said, as he sat himself down in her little room upstairs and she knew +well by the tone of his voice, and by the mode of his address, that +there was to be a solemn occasion, and a serious deliberative council +on the present existing family difficulty 'mother, of course I have +intended to let you know what is the nature of Clara's answer to my +letter.' + +'I am glad there is to be no secret between us, Frederic. You know how +I dislike secrets in families.' As she said this she took the letter +out of her son's hands with an eagerness that was almost greedy. As she +read it, he stood over her, watching her eyes, as they made their way +down the first page and on to the second, and across to the third, and +so, gradually on, till the whole reading was accomplished. What Clara +had written about her Cousin Will, Lady Aylmer did not quite +understand; and on this point now she was so little anxious that she +passed over that portion of the letter readily. But when she came to +Mrs Askerton and the allusions to herself, she took care to comprehend +the meaning and weight of every word. 'Divide your words and mine! Why +should we want to divide them? Not agree with me about Mrs Askerton! +How is it possible that any decent young woman should not agree with +me! It is a matter in which there is no room for a doubt. True the +story true! Of course it is true. Does she not know that it would not +have reached her from Aylmer Park if it were not true? Provocation! +Badly treated! Went away! Married to Colonel Askerton as soon as +Captain Berdmore died! Why, Frederic, she cannot have been taught to +understand the first principle of morals in life! And she that was so +much with my poor sister! Well, well!' The reader should understand +that the late Mrs Winterfield and Lady Aylmer had never been able to +agree with each other on religious subjects. 'Remember that they are +married. Why should we remember anything of the kind? It does not make +an atom of difference to the woman's character. Repented! How can Clara +say whether she has repented or not? But that has nothing to do with +it. Not quarrel with her as she calls it! Not give her up! Then, +Frederic, of course it must be all over, as far as you are concerned.' +When she had finished her reading, she returned the letter, still open, +to her son, shaking her head almost triumphantly. As far as I am a +judge of a young woman's character, I can only give you one counsel,' +said Lady Aylmer solemnly. + +'I think that she should have another chance,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'What other chance can you give her? It seems to me that she is +obstinately bent on her own destruction.' + +'You might ask her to come here, as Belinda suggested.' + +'Belinda was very foolish to suggest anything of the kind without more +consideration.' + +'I suppose that my future wife would be made welcome here? + +'Yes, Frederic, certainly. I do not know who could be more welcome. But +is she to be your wife?' + +'We are engaged.' + +'But does not that letter break any engagement? Is there not enough in +that to make such a marriage quite out of the question? What do you +think about it yourself, Frederic?' + +'I think that she should have another chance.' + +What would Clara have thought of all this herself if she could have +heard the conversation between Lady Aylmer and her betrothed husband, +and have known that her lover was proposing to give her 'another +chance?' But it is lucky for us that we seldom know what our best +friends say on our behalf, when they discuss us and our faults behind +our backs. + +'What chance, Frederic, can she have? She knows all about this horrid +woman, and yet refuses to give her up! What chance can she have after +that?' + +'I think that you might have her here and talk to her.' Lady Aylmer, in +answer to this, simply shook her head. And I think she was right in +supposing that such shaking of her head was a sufficient reply to her +son's proposition. What talking could possibly be of service to such a +one as this Miss Amedroz? Why should she throw her pearls before swine? +'We must either ask her to come here, or else I must go to her,' said +Captain Aylmer. + +'I don't see that at all, Frederic.' + +'I think it must be so. As she is situated at present she has got no +home; and I think it would be very horrid that she should be driven +into that woman's house, simply because she has no other shelter for +her head.' + +'I suppose she can remain where she is for the present? + +'She is all alone, you know; and it must be very gloomy and her cousin +can turn her out at a moment's notice.' + +'But that would not entitle her to come here, unless' + +'No I quite understand that. But you cannot wonder that I should feel +the hardship of her position.' + +'Who is to be blamed if it be hard? You see, Frederic, I take my +standing upon that letter her own letter. How am I to ask a young woman +into my house who declares openly that my opinion on such a matter goes +for nothing with her? How am I to do it? That's what I ask you. How am +I to do it? It's all very well for Belinda to suggest this and that. +But how am I to do it? That's what I want to know.' + +But at last Lady Aylmer managed to answer the question for herself, and +did do it. But this was not done on that Sunday afternoon, nor on the +Monday, nor on the Tuesday. The question was closely debated, and at +last the anxious mother perceived that the giving of the invitation +would be more safe than withholding it. Captain Aylmer at last +expressed his determination to go to Belton unless the invitation were +given; and then, should he do that, there might be danger that he would +never be again seen at Aylmer Park till he brought Clara Amedroz with +him as his wife. The position was one of great difficulty, but the +interests at stake were so immense that something must be risked. It +might be that Clara would not come when invited, and in that case her +obstinacy would be a great point gained. And if she came ! Well; Lady +Aylmer admitted to herself that the game would be difficult difficult +and very troublesome; but yet it might be played, and perhaps won. Lady +Aylmer was a woman who had great confidence in herself. Not so utterly +had victory in such contests deserted her hands, that she need fear to +break a lance with Miss Amedroz beneath her own roof, when the occasion +was so pressing. + +The invitation was therefore sent in a note written by herself, and was +enclosed in a letter from her son. After much consultation and many +doubts on the subject, it was at last agreed that nothing further +should now be urged about Mrs Askerton. 'She shall have her chance,' +said Lady Aylmer over and over again, repeating her son's words. 'She +shall have her chance.' Lady Aylmer, therefore, in her note, confined +herself strictly to the giving of the invitation, and to a suggestion +that, as Clara had now no settled home of her own, a temporary sojourn +at Aylmer Park might be expedient. And Captain Aylmer in his letter +hardly said much more. He knew, as he wrote the words, that they were +cold and comfortless, and that he ought on such an occasion to have +written words that should have been warm at any rate, even though they +might not have contained comfort. But, to have written with affection, +he should have written at once, and he had postponed his letter from +the Sunday till the Wednesday. It had been absolutely necessary that +that important question as to the invitation should be answered before +he could write at all. + +When all this was settled he went up to London; and there was an +understanding between him and his mother that he should return to +Aylmer Park with Clara, in the event of her acceptance of the +invitation. + +'You won't go down to Belton for her?' said the mother. + +'No I do not think that will be necessary,' said the son. + +'I should think not,' said the mother. + + +CHAPTER XX + +WILLIAM BELTON DOES NOT GO OUT HUNTING + +WE will now follow the other message which was sent down into Norfolk, +and which did not get into Belton's hands till the Monday morning. He +was sitting with his sister at breakfast, and was prepared for hunting, +when the paper was brought into the room. Telegraphic messages were not +very common at Plaistow Hall, and on the arrival of any that had as yet +reached that house, something of that awe had been felt with which such +missives were always accompanied in their earliest days. 'A telegruff +message, mum, for Mr William,' said the maid, looking at her mistress +with eyes opened wide, as she handed the important bit of paper to her +master. Will opened it rapidly, laying down the knife and fork with +which he was about to operate upon a ham before him. He was dressed in +boots and breeches, and a scarlet coat in which garb he was, in his +sister's eyes, the most handsome man in Norfolk. + +'Oh, Mary!' he exclaimed. + +'What is it, Will?' + +'Mr Amedroz is dead.' + +Miss Belton put out her hand for the paper before she spoke again, as +though she could better appreciate the truth of what she heard when +reading it herself on the telegraph slip than she had done from her +brother's words. 'How sudden! how terribly sudden!' she said. + +'Sudden indeed. When I left him he was not well, certainly, but I +should have said that he might have lived for twenty years. Poor old +man! I can hardly say why it was so, but I had taken a liking to him.' + +'You take a liking to everybody, Will.' + +'No I don't. I know people I don't like.' Will Belton as he said this +was thinking of Captain Aylmer, and he pressed the heel of his boot +hard against the floor. + +'And Mr Amedroz is dead! It seems to be so terribly sudden. What will +she do, Will?' + +'That's what I'm thinking about.' + +'Of course you are, my dear. I can see that. I wish I wish' + +'It's no good wishing anything, Mary. I don't think wishing ever did +any good yet. If I might have my wish, I shouldn't know how to have it.' + +'I was wishing that you didn't think so much about it.' + +'You need not be troubled about me. I shall do very well. But what is +to become of her now at once? Might she not come here? You are now the +nearest female relation that she has.' + +Mary looked at him with her anxious, painful eyes, and he knew by her +look that she did not approve of his plan. 'I could go away,' he +continued. 'She could come to you without being troubled by seeing me.' + +'And where would you go, Will?' + +'What does it matter? To the devil, I suppose.' + +'Oh, Will, Will!' + +'You know what I mean. I'd go anywhere. Where is she to find a home +till till she is married?' He had paused at the word; but was +determined not to shrink from it, and bolted it out in a loud, sharp +tone so that both he and she recognized all the meaning of the word all +that was conveyed in the idea. He hated himself when he endeavoured to +conceal from his own mind any of the misery that was coming upon him. +He loved her. He could not get over it. The passion was on him like a +palsy, for the shaking off of which no sufficient physical energy was +left to him. It clung to him in his goings out and comings in with a +painful, wearing tenacity, against which he would now and again +struggle, swearing that it should be so no longer but against which he +always struggled in vain. It was with him when he was hunting. He was +ever thinking of it when the bird rose before his gun. As he watched +the furrow, as his men and horses would drive it straight and deep +through the ground, he was thinking of her and not of the straightness +and depth of the furrow, as had been his wont in former years. Then he +would turn away his f toe, and stand alone in his field, blinded by the +salt drops in his eyes, weeping at his own weakness. And when he was +quite alone, he would stamp his foot on the ground, and throw abroad +his arms, and curse himself. What Nessus's shirt was this that had +fallen upon him, and unmanned him from the sole of his foot to the top +of his head? He went through the occupations of the week. He hunted, +and shot, and gave his orders, and paid his men their wages but he did +it all with a palsy of love upon him as he did it. He wanted her, and +he could not overcome the want. He could not bear to confess to himself +that the thing by which he had set so much store could never belong to +him. His sister understood it all, and sometimes he was almost angry +with her because of her understanding it. She sympathized with him in +all his moods, and sometimes he would shake away her sympathy as though +it scalded him. 'Where is she to find a home till till she is married?' +he said. + +Not a word had as yet been said between them about the property which +was now his estate. He was now Belton of Belton, and it must be +supposed that both he and she had remembered that it was so. But +hitherto not a word had been said between them on that point. Now she +was compelled to allude to it. 'Cannot she live at the Castle for the +present? + +'What all alone?' + +'Of course she is remaining there now.' + +'Yes,' said he, 'of course she is there now. Now! Why, remember what +these telegraphic messages are. He died only on yesterday morning. Of +course she is there, but I do not think it can be good that she should +remain there. There is no one near her where she is but that Mrs +Askerton. It can hardly be good for her to have no other female friend +at such a time as this.' + +'I do not think that Mrs Askerton will hurt her.' + +'Mrs Askerton will not hurt her at all and as long as Clara does not +know the story, Mrs Askerton may serve as well as another. But yet' + +'Can I go to her, Will?' + +'No, dearest. The journey would kill you in winter. And he would not +like it. We are bound to think of that for her sake cold-hearted, +thankless, meagre-minded creature as I know he is.' + +'I do not know why he should be so bad.' + +'No, nor I. But I know that he is. Never mind. Why should we talk about +him? I suppose she'll have to go there to Aylmer Park. I suppose they +will send for her, and keep her there till it's all finished. I'll tell +you what, Mary I shall give her the place.' + +'What Belton Castle?' + +'Why not? Will it ever be of any good to you or me? Do you want to go +and live there?' + +'No, indeed not for myself.' + +'And do you think that I could live there? Besides why should she be +turned out of her father's house? + +'He would not be mean enough to take it.' + +'He would be mean enough for anything. Besides, I should take very good +care that it should be settled upon her.' + +'That's nonsense, Will it is indeed. You are now William Belton of +Belton, and you must remain so.' + +'Mary I would sooner be Will Belton with Clara Amedroz by my side to +get through the world with me, and not the interest of an acre either +at Belton Castle or at Plaistow Hall! And I believe I should be the +richer man at the end if there were any good in that.' Then he went out +of the room, and she heard him go through the kitchen, and knew that he +passed out into the farm-yard, towards the stable, by the back-door. He +intended, it seemed, to go on with his hunting in spite of this death +which had occurred. She was sorry for it, but she could not venture to +stop him. And she was sorry also that nothing had been settled as to +the writing of any letter to Clara. She, however, would take upon +herself to write while he was gone. + +He went straight out towards the stables, hardly conscious of what he +was doing or where he was going, and found his hack ready saddled for +him in the stall. Then he remembered that he must either go or come to +some decision that he would not go. The horse that he intended to ride +had been sent on to the meet, and if he were not to be used, some +message must be dispatched as to the animal's return. But Will was half +inclined to go, although he knew that the world would judge him to be +heartless if he were to go hunting immediately on the receipt of the +tidings which had reached him that morning. He thought that he would +like to set the world at defiance in this matter. Let Frederic Aylmer +go into mourning for the old man who was dead. Let Frederic Aylmer be +solicitous for the daughter who was left lonely in the old house. No +doubt. he, Will Belton, had inherited the dead man's estate, and +should, therefore, in accordance with all the ordinary rules of the +world on such matters, submit himself at any rate to the decency of +funereal reserve. An heir should not be seen out hunting on the day on +which such tidings as to his heritage had reached him. But he did not +wish, in his present mood, to be recognized as the heir. He did not +want the property. He would have preferred to rid himself altogether of +any of the obligations which the ownership of the estate entailed upon +him. It was not permitted to him to have the custody of the old +squire's daughter, and therefore he was unwilling to meddle with any of +the old squire's concerns. + +Belton had gone into the stable, and had himself loosed the animal, +leading him out into the yard as though he were about to mount him. +Then he had given the reins to a stable boy, and had walked away among +the farm buildings, not thinking of what he was doing. The lad stood +staring at him with open mouth, not at all understanding his master's +hesitation. The meet, as the boy knew, was fourteen miles off, and +Belton had not allowed himself above an hour and a half for the +journey. It was his practice to jump into the saddle and bustle out of +the place, as though seconds were important to him. He would look at +his watch with accuracy, and measure his pace from spot to spot, as +though minutes were too valuable to be lost. But now he wandered away +like one distraught, and the stable boy knew that something was wrong. +'I thout he was a thinken of the white cow as choked 'erself with the +tunnup that was skipped in the chopping,' said the boy, as he spoke of +his master afterwards to the old groom. At last, however, a thought +seemed to strike Belton. 'Do you get on Brag,' he said to the boy, 'and +ride off to Goldingham Corner, and tell Daniel to bring the horse home +again. I shan't hunt today. And I think I shall go away from home. If +so, tell him to be sure the horses are out every morning and tell him +to stop their beans. I mightn't hunt again for the next month.' Then he +returned into the house, and went to the parlour in which his sister +was sitting. 'I shan't go out today,' he said. + +'I thought you would not, Will,' she answered. + +'Not that I see any harm in it.' + +'I don't say that there is any harm, but it is as well on such +occasions to do as others do.' + +'That's humbug, Mary.' + +'No, Will; I do not think that. When any practice has become the fixed +rule of the society in which we live, it is always wise to adhere to +that rule, unless it call upon us to do something that is actually +wrong. One should not offend the prejudices of the world, even if one +is quite sure that they are prejudices.' + +'It hasn't been that that has brought me back, Mary. I'll tell you +what. I think I'll go down to Belton after all.' + +His sister did not know what to say in answer to this. Her chief +anxiety was, of course, on behalf of her brother. That he should be +made to forget Clara Amedroz, if that were only possible, was her great +desire; and his journey at such a time as this down to Belton was not +the way to accomplish such forgetting. And then she felt that Clara +might very possibly not wish to see him. Had Will simply been her +cousin, such a visit might be very well; but he had attempted to be +more than her cousin, and therefore it would probably not be well. +Captain Aylmer might not like it; and Mary felt herself bound to +consider even Captain Aylmer's likings in such a matter. And yet she +could not bear to oppose him in anything. 'It would be a very long +journey,' she said. + +'What does that signify?' + +'And then it might so probably be for nothing.' + +'Why should it be for nothing?' + +'Because ' + +'Because what? Why don't you speak out? You need not be afraid of +hurting me. Nothing that you can say can make it at all worse than it +is.' + +'Dear Will, I wish I could make it better.' + +'But you can't. Nobody can make it either better or worse. I promised +her once before that I would go to her when she might be in trouble, +and I will be as good as my word. I said I would be a brother to her +and so I will. So help me God, I will!' Then he rushed out of the room, +striding through the door as though he would knock it down, and hurried +up. stairs to his own chamber. When there he stripped himself of his +hunting things, and dressed himself again with all the expedition in +his power; and then he threw a heap of clothes into a large +portmanteau, and set himself to work packing as though everything in +the world were to depend upon his catching a certain train. And he went +to a locked drawer, and taking out a cheque-book, folded it up and put +it into his pocket. Then he rang the bell violently; and as he was +locking the portmanteau, pressing down the lid with all his weight and +all his strength, he ordered that a certain mare should be put into a +certain dog-cart and that somebody might be ready to drive over with +him to the Downham Station. Within twenty minutes of the time of his +rushing upstairs he appeared again before his sister with a greatcoat +on, and a railway rug hanging over his arm. 'Do you mean that you are +going today?' said she. + +'Yes. I'll catch the 11.40 up-train at Downham. What's the good of +going unless I go at once? If I can be of any use it will be at the +first. It may be that she will have nobody there to do anything for +her.' + +'There is the clergyman, and Colonel Askerton even if Captain Aylmer +has not gone down.' + +'The clergyman and Colonel Askerton are nothing to her. And if that man +is there I can come back again.' + +'You will not quarrel with him?' + +'Why should I quarrel with him? What is there to quarrel about? I'm not +such a fool as to quarrel with a man because I hate him. If he is there +I shall see her for a minute or two, and then I shall come back.' + +'I know it is no good my trying to dissuade you.' + +'None on earth. If you knew it all you would not try to dissuade me. +Before I thought of asking her to be my wife and yet I thought of that +very soon but before I ever thought of that, I told her that when she +wanted a brother's help I would give it her. Of course I was thinking +of the property that she shouldn't be turned out of her father's house +like a beggar. I hadn't any settled plan then how could I? But I meant +her to understand that when her father died I would be the same to her +that I am to you. If you were alone, in distress, would I not go to +you?' + +'But I have no one else, Will,' said she, stretching out her hand to +him where he stood. + +'That makes no difference,' he replied, almost roughly. A promise is a +promise, and I resolved from the first that my promise should hold good +in spite of my disappointment. Dear, dear it seems but the other day +when I made it and now, already, everything is changed.' As he was +speaking the servant entered the room, and told him that the horse and +gig were ready for him. 'I shall just do it nicely,' said he, looking +at his watch. 'I have over an hour. God bless you, Mary. I shan't be +away long. You may be sure of that.' + +'I don't suppose you can tell as yet, Will.' + +'What should keep me long? I shall see Green as I go by, and that is +half of my errand. I dare say I shan't stay above a night down in +Somersetshire.' + +'You'll have to give some orders about the estate.' + +'I shall not say a word on the subject to anybody; that is, not to +anybody there. I am going to look after her, and not the estate.' Then +he stooped down and kissed his sister, and in another minute was +turning the corner out of the farm-yard on to the road at a quick pace, +not losing a foot of ground in the turn, in that fashion of rapidity +which the horses at Plaistow Hall soon learned from their master. The +horse is a closely sympathetic beast, and will make his turns, and do +his trottings, and comport himself generally in strict unison with the +pulsation of his master's heart. When a horse won't jump it is +generally the case that the inner man is declining to jump also, let +the outer man seem ever so anxious to accomplish the feat. + +Belton, who was generally very communicative with his servants, always +talking to any man he might have beside him in his dog-cart about the +fields and cattle and tillage around him, said not a word to the boy +who accompanied him on this occasion. He had a good many things to +settle in his mind before he got to London, and he began upon the work +as soon as he had turned the corner out of the farm-yard. As regarded +this Belton estate, which was now altogether his own, he had always bad +doubts and qualms qualms of feeling rather than of conscience; and he +had, also, always entertained a strong family ambition. His people, +ever so far back, had been Beltons of Belton. They told him that his +family could be traced back to very early days before the Plantagenets, +as he believed, though on this point of the subject he was very hazy in +his information and he liked the idea of being the man by whom the +family should be reconstructed in its glory. Worldly circumstances had +been so kind to him, that he could take up the Belton estate with more +of the prestige of wealth than had belonged to any of the owners of the +place for many years past. Should it come to pass that living there +would be desirable, he could rebuild the old house, and make new +gardens, and fit himself out with all the pleasant braveries of a +well-to-do English squire. There need be no pinching and scraping, no +question whether a carriage would be possible, no doubt as to the +prudence of preserving game. All this had given much that was +delightful to his prospects. And he had, too, been instigated by a +somewhat weak desire to emerge from that farmer's rank into which he +knew that many connected with him had supposed him to have sunk. It was +true that he farmed land that was half his own and that, even at +Plaistow, he was a wealthy man; but Plaistow Hall, with all its +comforts, was a farm-house; and the ambition to be more than a farmer +had been strong upon him. + +But then there had been the feeling that in taking the Belton estate he +would be robbing his Cousin Clara of all that should have been hers. It +must be remembered that he had not been brought up in the belief that +he would ever become the owner of Belton. All his high ambition in that +matter had originated with the wretched death of Clara's brother. Could +he bring himself to take it all with pleasure, seeing that it came to +him by so sad a chance by a catastrophe so deplorable? When he would +think of this, his mind would revolt from its own desires, and he would +declare to himself that his inheritance would come to him with a stain +of blood upon it. He, indeed, would have been guiltless; but how could +he take his pleasure in the shades of Belton without thinking of the +tragedy which had given him the property? Such had been the thoughts +and desires, mixed in their nature and militating against each other, +which had induced him to offer his first visit to his cousin's house. +We know what was the effect of that visit, and by what pleasant scheme +he had endeavoured to overcome all his difficulties, and so to become +master of Belton that Clara Amedroz should also be its mistress. There +had been a way which, after two days' intimacy with Clara, seemed to +promise him comfort and happiness on all sides. But he had come too +late, and that way was closed against him! Now the estate was his, and +what was he to do with it? Clara belonged to his rival, and in what way +would it become him to treat her? He was still thinking simply of the +cruelty of the circumstances which had thrown Captain Aylmer between +him and his cousin, when he drove himself up to the railway station at +Downham. + +'Take her back steady, Jem,' he said to the boy. + +'I'll be sure to take her wery steady,' Jem answered, 'and tell Compton +to have the samples of barley ready for me. I may be back any day, and +we shall be sowing early this spring.' + +Then he left his cart, followed the porter who had taken his luggage +eagerly, knowing that Mr Belton was always good for sixpence, and in +five minutes' time he was again in motion. + +On his arrival in London he drove at once to the chambers of his +friend, Mr Green, and luckily found the lawyer there. Had he missed +doing this, it was his intention to go out to his friend's house; and +in that case he could not have gone down to Taunton till the next +morning; but now he would be able to say what he wished to say, and +hear what he wished to hear, and would travel down by the night- mail +train. He was anxious that Clara should feel that he had hurried to her +without a moment's delay. It would do no good. He knew that. Nothing +that he could do would alter her, or be of any service to him. She had +accepted this man, and had herself no power of making a change, even if +she should wish it. But still there was to him something of +gratification in the idea that she should be made to feel that he, +Belton, was more instant in his affection, more urgent in his good +offices, more anxious to befriend her in her difficulties, than the man +whom she had consented to take for her husband. Aylmer would probably +go down to Belton, but Will was very anxious to be the first on the +ground very anxious though his doing so could be of no use. All this +was wrong on his part. He knew that it was wrong, and he abused himself +for his own selfishness. But such self-abuse gave him no aid in +escaping from his own wickedness. He would, if possible, be at Belton +before Captain Aylmer; and he would, if possible, make Clara feel that, +though he was not a Member of Parliament, though he was not much given +to books, though he was only a farmer, yet he had at any rate as much +heart and spirit as the fine gentleman whom she preferred to him. + +'I thought I should see you,' said the lawyer; 'but I hardly expected +you so soon as this.' + +'I ought to have been a day sooner, only we don't get our telegraphic +messages on a Sunday.' + +He still kept his greatcoat on; and it seemed by his manner that he had +no intention of staying where he was above a minute or two. + +'You'll come out and dine with me today?' said Mr Green. + +'I can't do that, for I shall go down by the mail train.' + +'I never saw such a fellow in my life. What good will that do? It is +quite right that you should be there in time for the funeral; but I +don't suppose he will he buried before this day week.' + +But Belton had never thought about the funeral. When he had spoken to +his sister of saying but a few words to Clara and then returning, he +had forgotten that there would be any such ceremony, or that he would +be delayed by any such necessity. + +'I was not thinking about the funeral,' said Belton. 'You'll only find +yourself uncomfortable there.' + +'Of course I shall be uncomfortable.' + +'You can't do anything about the property, you know.' + +'What do you mean by doing anything?' said Belton, in an angry tone. + +'You can't very well take possession of the place, at any rate, till +after the funeral. It would not be considered the proper thing to do.' + +'You think, then, that I'm a bird of prey, smelling the feast from afar +off, and hurrying at the dead man's carcase as soon as the breath is +out of his body?' + +'I don't think anything of the kind, my dear fellow.' + +'Yes, you do, or you wouldn't talk to me about doing the proper thing! +I don't care a straw about the proper thing! If I find that there's +anything to be done tomorrow that can be of any use, I shall do it, +though all Somersetshire should think it improper! But I'm not going to +look after my own interests!' + +'Take off your coat and sit down, Will, and don't look angry at me. I +know that you're not greedy, well enough. Tell me what you are going to +do, and let me see if I can help you.' + +Belton did as he was told; he pulled off his coat and sat himself down +by the fire. 'I don't know that you can do anything to help me at +least, not as yet. But I must go and see after her. Perhaps she may be +all alone.' + +'I suppose she is all alone.' + +'He hasn't gone down, then?' + +'Who Captain Aylmer? No he hasn't gone down, certainly. He is in +Yorkshire.' + +'I'm glad of that!' + +'He won't hurry himself. He never does, I fancy. I had a letter from +him this morning about Miss Amedroz.' + +'And what did he say?' + +'He desired me to send her seventy-five pounds the interest of her +aunt's money.' + +'Seventy-five pounds!' said Will Belton, contemptuously. + +'He thought she might want money at once; and I sent her the cheque +today. It will go down by the same train that carries you.' + +'Seventy-five pounds! And you are sure that he has not gone himself?' + +'It isn't likely that he should have written to me, and passed through +London himself, at the same time but it is possible, no doubt. I don't +think he even knew the old squire; and there is no reason why he should +go to the funeral.' + +'No reason at all,' said Belton who felt that Captain Aylmer's presence +at the Castle would be an insult to himself. 'I don't know what on +earth he should do there except that I think him just the fellow to +intrude where he is not wanted.' And yet Will was in his heart +despising Captain Aylmer because he had not already hurried down to the +assistance of the girl whom he professed to love. + +'He is engaged to her, you know,' said the lawyer, in a low voice. + +'What difference does that make with such a fellow as he is a +cold-blooded fish of a man, who thinks of nothing in the world but +being respectable? Engaged to her! Oh, damn him!' + +'I've not the slightest objection. I don't think, however, that you'll +find him at Belton before you. No doubt she will have heard from him; +and it strikes me as very possible that she may go to Aylmer Park.' + +'What should she go there for?' + +'Would it not be the best place for her?' + +'No. My house would be the best place for her. I am her nearest +relative. Why should she not come to us?' + +Mr Green turned round his chair and poked the fire, and fidgeted about +for some moments before he answered. 'My dear fellow, you must know +that that wouldn't do.' He then said, 'You ought to feel that it +wouldn't do you ought indeed.' + +'Why shouldn't my sister receive Miss Amedroz as well as that old woman +down in Yorkshire?' + +'If I may tell you, I will.' + +'Of course you may tell me.' + +'Because Miss Amedroz is engaged to be married to that old woman's son, +and is not engaged to be married to your sister's brother. The thing is +done, and what is the good of interfering? As far as she is concerned, +a great burden is off your hands.' + +'What do you mean by a burden?' + +'I mean that her engagement to Captain Aylmer makes it unnecessary for +you to suppose that she is in want of any pecuniary assistance. You +told me once before that you would feel yourself called upon to see +that she wanted nothing.' + +'So I do now.' + +'But Captain Aylmer will look after that.' + +'I tell you what it is, Joe; I mean to settle the Belton property in +such a way that she shall have it, and that he shan't be able to touch +it. And it shall go to some one who shall have my name William Belton. +That's what I want you to arrange for me.' + +'After you are dead, you mean.' + +'I mean now, at once. I won't take the estate from her. I hate the +place and everything belonging to it. I don't mean her. There is no +reason for hating her.' + +'My dear Will, you are talking nonsense.' + +'Why is it nonsense? I may give what belongs to me to whom I please.' + +'You can do nothing of the kind at any rate, not by my assistance. You +talk as though the world were all over with you as though you were +never to be married or have any children of your own.' + +'I shall never marry.' + +'Nonsense, Will. Don't make such an ass of yourself as to suppose that +you'll not get over such a thing as this. You'll be married and have a +dozen children yet to provide for. Let the eldest have Belton Castle, +and everything will go on then in the proper way.' + +Belton had now got the poker into his hands, and sat silent for some +time, knocking the coals about. Then he got up, and took his hat, and +put on his coat. Of course I can't make you understand me,' he said; at +any rate not all at once. I'm not such a fool as to want to give up my +property just because a girl is going to be married to a man I don't +like. I'm not such an ass as to give him my estate for such a reason as +that for it will be giving it to him, let me tie it up as I may. But +I've a feeling about it which makes it impossible for me to take it. +How would you like to get a thing by another fellow having destroyed +himself + +'You can't help that. It's yours by law.' + +'Of course it is. I know that. And as it's mine I can do what I like +with it. Well good-bye. When I've got anything to say, I'll write.' +Then he went down to his cab and had himself driven to the Great +Western Railway Hotel. + +Captain Aylmer had sent to his betrothed seventy. five pounds; the +exact interest at five per cent, for one year of the sum which his aunt +had left her. This was the first subject of which Belton thought when +he found himself again in the railway carriage, and he continued +thinking of it half the way down to Taunton. Seventy-five pounds! As +though this favoured lover were prepared to give her exactly her due, +and nothing more than her due! Had he been so placed, he, Will Belton, +what would he have done? Seventy-five pounds might have been more money +than she would have wanted, for he would have taken her to his own +house to his own bosom as soon as she would have permitted, and would +have so laboured on her behalf, taking from her shoulders all money +troubles, that there would have been no question as to principal or +interest between them. At any rate be would not have confined himself +to sending to her the exact sum which was her due. But then Aylmer was +a cold-blooded man more like a fish than a man. Belton told himself +over and over again that he had discovered that at the single glance +which he had had when he saw Captain Aylmer in Green's chambers. +Seventy-five pounds indeed! He himself was prepared to give his whole +estate to her, if she would take it even though she would not marry +him, even though she was going to throw herself away upon that fish! +Then he felt somewhat as Hamlet did when he jumped upon Laertes at the +grave of Ophelia. Send her seventy-five pounds indeed, while he was +ready to drink up Esil for her, or to make over to her the whole Belton +estate, and thus abandon the idea for ever of being Belton of Belton! + +He reached Taunton in the middle of the night during the small hours of +the morning in a winter night; but yet he could not bring himself to go +to bed. So he knocked up an ostler at the nearest inn, and ordered out +a gig. He would go down to the village of Redicote, on the Minehead +road, and put up at the public-house there. He could not now have +himself driven at once to Belton Castle, as he would have done had the +old squire been alive. He fancied that his presence would be a nuisance +if he did so. So he went to the little inn at Redicote, reaching that +place between four and five o'clock in the morning; and very +uncomfortable he was when he got there. But in his present frame of +mind he preferred discomfort. He liked being tired and cold, and felt, +when he was put into a chill room, without fire, and with a sanded +floor, that things with him were as they ought to be. + +Yes he could have a fly over to Belton Castle after breakfast. Having +learned so much, and ordered a dish of eggs and bacon for his morning's +breakfast, be went upstairs to a miserable little bedroom, to dress +himself after his night's journey. + + +CHAPTER XXI + +MRS ASKERTON'S GENEROSITY + +The death of the old man at Belton Castle had been very sudden. At +three o'clock in the morning Clara had been called into his room, and +at five o'clock she was alone in the world having neither father, +mother, nor brother; without a home, without a shilling that she could +call her own with no hope as to her future life, if as she had so much +reason to suppose Captain Aylmer should have chosen to accept her last +letter as a ground for permanent separation. But at this moment, on +this saddest morning, she did not care much for that chance. It seemed +to be almost indifferent to her, that question of Lady Aylmer and her +anger. The more that she was absolutely in need of external friendship, +the more disposed was she to reject it, and to declare to herself that +she was prepared to stand alone in the world. + +For the last week she had understood from the doctor that her father +was in truth sinking, and that she might hardly hope ever to see him +again convalescent. She had therefore in some sort prepared herself for +her loneliness, and anticipated the misery of her position. As soon as +it was known to the women in the room that life had left the old man, +one of them had taken her by the hand and led her back to her own +chamber. 'Now, Miss Clara, you had better lie down on the bed again you +had indeed; you can do nothing sitting up.' She took the old woman's +advice, and allowed them to do with her as they would. It was true that +there was no longer any work by which she could make herself useful in +that house in that house, or, as far as she could see, in any other. +Yes; she would go to bed, and lying there would feel how convenient it +would be for many persons if she also could be taken away to her long +rest, as her father, and aunt, and brother had been taken before her. + +Her name and family had been unfortunate, and it would be well that +there should be no Amedroz left to trouble those more fortunate persons +who were to come after them. In her sorrow and bitterness she included +both her Cousin Will and Captain Aylmer among those more fortunate ones +for whose sake it might be well that she should be made to vanish from +off the earth. She had read Captain Aylmer's letter over and over again +since she had answered it, and had read nearly as often the copy of her +own reply and had told herself, as she read them, that of course he +would not forgive her. He might perhaps pardon her, if she would submit +to him in everything; but that she would not submit to his commands +respecting Mrs Askerton she was fully resolved and, therefore, there +could be no hope. Then, when she remembered how lately her dear +father's spirit had fled, she hated herself for having allowed her mind +to dwell on any. thing beyond her loss of him. + +She was still in her bedroom, having fallen into that half-waking +slumber which the numbness of sorrow so often produces, when word was +brought to her that Mrs Askerton was in the house. It was the first +time that Mrs Askerton had ever crossed the door, and the remembrance +that it was so came upon her at once. During her father's lifetime it +had seemed to be understood that their neighbour should have no +admittance there but now now that her father was gone the barrier was +to be overthrown. And why not? Why should not Mrs Askerton come to her? +Why, if Mrs Askerton chose to be kind to her, should she not altogether +throw herself into her friend's arms? Of course her doing so would give +mortal offence to everybody at Aylmer Park; but why need she stop to +think of that? She had already made up her mind that she would not obey +orders from Aylmer Park on this subject. + +She had not seen Mrs Askerton since that interview between them which +was described some few chapters back. Then everything had been told +between them, so that there was no longer any mystery either on the one +side or on the other. Then Clara had assured her friend of her loving +friendship in spite of any edicts to the contrary which might come from +Aylmer Park; and after that what could be more natural than that Mrs +Askerton should come to her in her sorrow? 'She says she'll come up to +you if you'll let her,' said the servant. But Clara declined this +proposition, and in a few minutes went down to the small parlour in +which she had lately lived, and where she found her visitor. + +'My poor dear, this has been very sudden,' said Mrs Askerton. + +'Very sudden very sudden. And yet, now that he has gone, I know that I +expected it.' + +'Of course I came to you as soon as I heard of it, because I knew you +were all alone. If there had been any one else I should not have come.' + +'It is very good of you.' + +'Colonel Askerton thought that perhaps he had better come. I told him +of all that which we said to each other the other day. He thought at +first that it would be better that I should not see you.' + +'It was very good of you to come,' said Clara again, and as she spoke +she put out her hand and took Mrs Askerton's continuing to hold it for +awhile; 'very good indeed.' + +'I told him that I could not but go down to you that I thought you +would not understand it if I stayed away.' + +'At any rate it was good of you to come to me.' + +'I don't believe,' said Mrs Askerton, 'that what people call +consolation is ever of any use. It is a terrible thing to lose a +father.' + +'Very terrible. Ah, dear, I have hardly yet found out how sad it is. As +yet I have only been thinking of myself, and wishing that I could be +with him.' + +'Nay, Clara.' + +'How can I help it? What am I to do? Or where am I to go? Of what use +is life to such a one as me? And for him who would dare to wish him +back again? When people have fallen and gone down in the world, it is +bad for them to go on living. Everything is a trouble, and there is +nothing but vexation.' + +'Think what I have suffered, dear.' + +'But you have had somebody to care for you somebody whom you could +trust.' + +'And have not you?' + +'No; no one.' + +'What do you mean, Clara?' + +'I mean what I say. I have no one. It is no use asking questions not +now, at such a time as this. And I did not mean to complain. +Complaining is weak and foolish. I have often told myself that I could +bear anything, and so I will. When I can bring myself to think of what +I have lost in my father I shall be better, even though I shall be more +sorrowful. As it is, I hate myself for being so selfish.' + +'You will let me come and stay with you today, will you not?' + +'No, dear; not today.' + +'Why not today, Clara?' + +'I shall be better alone. I have so many things to think of.' + +'I know well that it would be better that you should not be alone much +better. But I will not press it. I cannot insist with you as another +woman would.' + +'You are wrong there; quite wrong. I would be led by you sooner than by +any woman living. What other woman is there to whom I would listen for +a moment?' As she said this, even in the depth of her sorrow she +thought of Lady Aylmer, and strengthened herself in her resolution to +rebel against her lover's mother. Then she continued, 'I wish I knew my +Cousin Mary Mary Bolton; but I have never seen her.' + +'Is she nice? + +'So Will tells me; and I know that what he says must be true even about +his sister.' + +'Will, Will! You are always thinking of your Cousin Will. If he be +really so good he will show it now.' + +'How can he show it? What can he do?' + +'Does he not inherit all the property?' + +'Of course he does. And what of that? When I say that I have no friend +I am not thinking of my poverty.' + +'If he has that regard for you which he pretends, he can do much to +assist you. Why should he not come here at once?' + +'God forbid.' + +'Why? Why do you say so? He is your nearest relative.' + +'If you do not understand I cannot explain.' + +'Has he been told what has happened?' Mrs Askerton asked. + +'Colonel Askerton sent a message to him, I believe.' + +'And to Captain Aylmer also?' + +'Yes; and to Captain Aylmer. It was Colonel Askerton who sent it.' + +'Then he will come, of course.' + +'I think not. Why should he come? He did not even know poor papa.' + +'But, my dear Clara, has he not known you?' + +'You will see that he will not come. And I tell you beforehand that he +will be right to stay away. Indeed, I do not know how he could come and +I do not want him here.' + +'I cannot understand you, Clara.' + +'I suppose not. I cannot very well understand myself.' + +'I should not be at all surprised if Lady Aylmer were to come herself.' + +'Oh, heavens! How little you can know of Lady Aylmer's position and +character!' + +'But if she is to be your mother-in-law?' + +'And even if she were! The idea of Lady Aylmer coming away from Aylmer +Park all the way from Yorkshire, to such a house as this! If they told +me that the Queen was coming it would hardly disconcert me more. But, +dear, there is no danger of that at least.' + +'I do not know what may have passed between you and him; but unless +there has been some quarrel he will come. That is, he will do so if he +is at all like any men whom I have known.' + +'He will not come.' + +Then Mrs Askerton made some half-whispered offers of services to be +rendered by Colonel Askerton, and soon afterwards took her leave, +having first asked permission to come again in the afternoon, and when +that was declined, having promised to return on the following morning. +As she walked back to the cottage she could not but think more of +Clara's engagement to Captain Aylmer than she did of the squire's +death. As regarded herself, of course she could not grieve for Mr +Amedroz; and as regarded Clara, Clara's father had for some time past +been apparently so insignificant, even in his own house, that it was +difficult to acknowledge the fact that the death of such a one as he +might leave a great blank in the world. But what had Clara meant by +declaring so emphatically that Captain Aylmer would not visit Belton, +and by speaking of herself as one who had neither position nor friends +in the world? If there had been a quarrel, indeed, then it was +sufficiently intelligible and if there was any such quarrel, from what +source must it have arisen? Mrs Askerton felt the blood rise to her +cheeks as she thought of this, and told herself that there could be but +one such source. Mrs Askerton knew that Clara had received orders from +Aylmer Castle to discontinue all acquaintance with herself, and, +therefore, there could be no doubt as to the cause of the quarrel. It +had come to this then, that Clara was to lose her husband because she +was true to her friend; or rather because she would not consent to cast +an additional stone at one who for some years past had become a mark +for many stones. + +I am not prepared to say that Mrs Askerton was a high-minded woman. +Misfortunes had come upon her in life of a sort which are too apt to +quench high nobility of mind in woman. There are calamities which, by +their natural tendencies, elevate the character of women and add +strength to the growth of feminine virtues but then, again, there are +other calamities which few women can bear without some degradation, +without some injury to that delicacy and tenderness which is +essentially necessary to make a woman charming as a woman. In this, I +think, the world is harder to women than to men; that a woman often +loses much by the chance of adverse circumstances which a man only +loses by his own misconduct. That there are women whom no calamity can +degrade is true enough and so it is true that there are some men who +are heroes; but such are exceptions both among men and women. Not such +a one had Mrs Askerton been. Calamity had come upon her partly, indeed, +by her own fault, though that might have been pardoned but the weight +of her misfortunes had been too great for her strength, and she had +become in some degree hardened by what she had endured; if not +unfeminine, still she was feminine in an inferior degree, with womanly +feelings of a lower order. And she had learned to intrigue, not being +desirous of gaining aught by dishonest intriguing, but believing that +she could only hold her own by carrying on her battle after that +fashion. In all this I am speaking of the general character of the +woman, and am not alluding to the one sin which she had committed. +Thus, when she had first become acquainted with Miss Amedroz, her +conscience had not rebuked her in that she was deceiving her new +friend. When asked casually in conversation as to her maiden name, she +had not blushed as she answered the question with a falsehood. When, +unfortunately, the name of her first husband had in some way made +itself known to Clara, she had been ready again with some prepared fib. +And when she had recognized William Belton, she had thought that the +danger to herself of having any one near her who might know her quite +justified her in endeavouring to create ill-will between Clara and her +cousin. 'Self-preservation is the first law of nature,' she would have +said; and would have failed to remember, as she did always fail to +remember that nature does not require by any of its laws that +self-preservation should be aided by falsehood. + +But though she was not high-minded, so also was she not ungenerous; and +now, as she began to understand that Clara was sacrificing herself +because of that promise which had been given when they two had stood +together at the window in the cottage drawing-room, she was capable of +feeling more for her friend than for herself. She was capable even of +telling herself that it was cruel on her part even to wish for any +continuance of Clara's acquaintance. 'I have made my bed, and I must +lie upon it,' she said to herself; and then she resolved that, instead +of going up to the house on the following day, she would write to +Clara, and put an end to the intimacy which existed between them. 'The +world is hard, and harsh, and unjust,' she said, still speaking to +herself. 'But that is not her fault; I will not injure her because I +have been injured myself.' + +Colonel Askerton was up at the house on the same day, but he did not +ask for Miss Amedroz, nor did she see him. Nobody else came to the +house then, or on the following morning, or on that afternoon, though +Clara did not fail to tell herself that Captain Aylmer might have been +there if he had chosen to take the journey and to leave home as soon as +he had received the message; and she made the same calculation as to +her Cousin Will though in that calculation, as we know, she was wrong. +These two days had been very desolate with her, and she had begun to +look forward to Mrs Askerton's coming when instead of that there came a +messenger with a letter from the cottage. + +'You can do as you like, my dear,' Colonel Askerton had said on the +previous evening to his wife. He had listened to all she had been +saying without taking his eyes from off his newspaper, though she had +spoken with much eagerness. + +'But that is not enough. You should say more to me than that.' + +'Now I think you are unreasonable. For myself, I do not care how this +matter goes; nor do I care one straw what any tongues may say. They +cannot reach me, excepting so far as they may reach me through you.' + +'But you should advise me.' + +'I always do copiously, when I think that I know better than you; but +in this matter I feel so sure that you know better than I, that I don't +wish to suggest anything.' Then he went on with his newspaper, and she +sat for a while looking at him, as though she expected that something +more would be said. But nothing more was said, and she was left +entirely to her own guidance. + +Since the days in which her troubles had come upon Mrs Askerton, Clara +Amedroz was the first female friend who had come near her to comfort +her, and she was very loth to abandon such comfort. There had, too, +been something more than comfort, something almost approaching to +triumph, when she found that Clara had clung to her with affection +after hearing the whole story of her life. Though her conscience had +not pricked her while she was exercising all her little planned +deceits, she had not taken much pleasure in them. How should any one +take pleasure in such work? Many of us daily deceive our friends, and +are so far gone in deceit that the deceit alone is hardly painful to +us. But the need of deceiving a friend is always painful. The treachery +is easy; but to be treacherous to those we love is never easy never +easy, even though it be so common. There had been a double delight to +this poor woman in the near neighbourhood of Clara Amedroz since there +had ceased to be a necessity for falsehood on her part. But now, almost +before her joy had commenced, almost before she had realized the +sweetness of her triumph, had come upon her this task of doing that +herself which Clara in her generosity had refused to do. 'I have made +my bed and I must lie upon it,' she said. And then, instead of going +down to the house as she had promised, she wrote the following letter +to Miss Amedroz: + + + +'The Cottage, Monday. + +Dearest Clara + +I need not tell you that I write as I do now with a bleeding heart. A +few days since I should have laughed at any woman who used such a +phrase of herself, and declared her to be an affected fool; but now I +know how true such a word may be. My heart is bleeding, and I feel +myself to be overcome by my disgrace. You told me that I did not +understand you yesterday. Of course I understood you. Of course I know +how it all is, and why you spoke as you did of Captain Aylmer. He has +chosen to think that you could not know me without pollution, and has +determined that you must give up either me or him. Though he has judged +me, I am not going to judge him. The world is on his side; and, +perhaps, he is right. He knows nothing of my trials and difficulties +and why should he? I do not blame him for demanding that his future +wife shall not be intimate with a woman who is supposed to have lost +her fitness for the society of women. + +At any rate, dearest, you must obey him and we will see each other no +more. I am quite sure that I should be very wicked were I to allow you +to injure your position in life on my account. You at any rate love +him, and would be happy with him, and as you are engaged to him, you +have no just ground for resenting his interference. + +You will understand me now as well as though I were to fill sheets and +sheets of paper with what I could say on the subject. The simple fact +is, that you and I must forget each other, or simply remember one +another as past friends. You will know in a day or two what your plans +are. If you remain here, we will go away. If you go away, we will +remain here that is, if your cousin will keep us as tenants. I do not, +of course, know what you may have written to Captain Aylmer since our +interview up here, but I beg that you will write to him now, and make +him understand that he need have no fears in respect of me. You may +send him this letter if you will. Oh, dear! If you could know what I +suffer as I write this. + +I feel that I owe you an apology for harassing you on such a subject at +such a time; but I know that I ought not to lose a day in tolling you +that you are to see nothing more of the friend who has loved you. + +MARY ASKERTON.' + +Clara's first impulse on receiving this letter was to go off at once +to the cottage, and insist on her privilege of choosing her own +friends. If she preferred Mrs Askerton to Captain Aylmer, that was no +one's business but her own. And she would have done so had she not been +afraid of meeting with Colonel Askerton. To him she would not have +known how to speak on such a subject nor would she have known how to +conduct herself at the cottage without speaking of it. And then, after +a while, she felt that were she to do so should she now deliberately +determine to throw herself into Mrs Askerton's arms she must at the +same time give up all ideas of becoming Captain Aylmer's wife. As she +thought of this she asked herself various questions concerning him, +which she did not find it easy to answer. Did she wish to be his wife? +Could she assure herself that if they were married they would make each +other happy? Did she love him? She was still able to declare to herself +that the answer to the last question should be an affirmative; but, +nevertheless, she thought that she could give him up without great +unhappiness. And when she began to think of Lady Aylmer, and to +remember that Frederic Aylmer's imperative demands upon her obedience +had, in all probability, been dictated by his mother, she was again +anxious to go at once to the cottage, and declare that she would not +submit to any interference with her own judgment. + +On the next morning the postman brought to her a letter which was of +much moment to her but he brought to her also tidings which moved her +more even than the letter. The letter was from the lawyer, and enclosed +a cheque for seventy-five pounds, which he had been instructed to pay +to her, as the interest of the money left to her by her aunt. What +should be her answer to that letter she knew very well, and she +instantly wrote it, sending back the cheque to Mr Green. The postman's +news, more important than the letter, told her that William Belton was +at the inn at Redicote. + + +CHAPTER XXII + +PASSIONATE PLEADING + +Clara wrote her letter to the lawyer, returning the cheque, before she +would allow herself a moment to dwell upon the news of her cousin's +arrival. She felt that it was necessary to do that before she should +even see her cousin thus providing against any difficulty which might +arise from adverse advice on his part; and as soon as the letter was +written she sent it to the post-office in the village. She would do +almost any. thing that Will might tell her to do, but Captain Aylmer's +money she would not take, even though Will might so direct her. They +would tell her, no doubt, among them, that the money was her own that +she might take it without owing any thanks for it to Captain Aylmer. +But she knew better than that as she told herself over and over again. +Her aunt had left her nothing, and nothing would she have from Captain +Aylmer unless she had all that Captain Aylmer had to give, after the +fashion in which women best love to take such gifts. + +Then, when she had done that, she was able to think of her cousin's +visit. 'I knew he would come,' she said to herself, as she sat herself +in one of the old chairs in the hall, with a large shawl wrapped round +her shoulders. She had just been to the front door, with the nominal +purpose of dispatching her messenger thence to the post-office; but she +had stood for a minute or two under the portico, looking in the +direction by which Belton would come from Redicote, expecting, or +rather hoping, that she might see his figure or hear the sound of his +gig. But she saw nothing and heard nothing, and so returned into the +hall, slowly shutting the door. 'I knew that he would come,' she said, +repeating to herself the same words over and over again. Yet when Mrs +Askerton had told her that he would do this thing which he had now +done, she had expressed herself as almost frightened by the idea. 'God +forbid,' she had said. Nevertheless now that he was there at Redicote, +she assured herself that his coming was a thing of which she had been +certain; and she took a joy in the knowledge of his nearness to her +which she did not attempt to define to herself. Had he not said that he +would be a brother to her, and was it not a brother's part to go to a +sister in affliction? 'I knew that he would come. I was sure of it. He +is so true.' As to Captain Aylmer's not coming she said nothing, even +to herself; but she felt that she had been equally sure on that +subject. Of course, Captain Aylmer would not come! He had sent her +seventy-five pounds in lieu of coming, and in doing so was true to his +character. Both men were doing exactly that which was to have been +expected of them. So at least Clara Amedroz now assured herself. She +did not ask herself how it was that she had come to love the thinner +and the meaner of the two men, but she knew well that such had been her +fate. + +On a sudden she rose from her chair, as though remembering a duty to be +performed, and went to the kitchen and directed that breakfast might be +got ready for Mr Belton. He would have travelled all night and would be +in want of food. Since the old squire's death there had been no regular +meal served in the house, and Clara had taken such scraps of food and +cups of tea as the old servant of the house had brought to her. But now +the cloth must be spread again, and as she did this with her own hands +she remembered the dinners which had been prepared for Captain Aylmer +at Perivale after his aunt's death. It seemed to her that she was used +to be in the house with death, and that the sadness and solemn +ceremonies of woe were. becoming things familiar to her. There grew +upon her a feeling that it must be so with her always. The +circumstances of her life would ever be sad. What right had she to +expect any other fate after such a catastrophe as that which her +brother had brought upon the family? It was clear to her that she had +done wrong in supposing that she could marry and live with a prosperous +man of the world like Captain Aylmer. Their natures were different, and +no such union could lead to any good. So she told herself, with much +misery of spirit, as she was preparing the breakfast-table for William +Belton. + +But William Belton did not come to eat the breakfast. He got what he +wanted in that way at the inn at Redicote, and even then hesitated, +loitering at the bar, before he would go over. What was he to say, and +how would he be received? After all, had he not done amiss in coming to +a house at which he probably might not be wanted? Would it not be +thought that his journey had been made solely with a view to his own +property? He would be regarded as the heir pouncing upon the +inheritance before as yet the old owner was under the ground. At any +rate it would be too early for him to make his visit yet awhile; and, +to kill time, he went over to a carpenter who had been employed by him +about the place at Belton. The carpenter spoke to him as though +everything were his own, and was very intent upon future improvements. +This made Will more disgusted with himself than ever, and before he +could get out of the carpenter's yard he thoroughly wished himself back +at Plaistow. But having come so far, he could hardly return without +seeing his cousin, and at last he had himself driven over, reaching the +house between eleven and twelve o'clock in the day. + +Clara met him in the hall, and at once led him into the room which she +had prepared for him. He had given her his hand in the hall, but did +not speak to her till she had spoken to him after the closing of the +room door behind them. 'I thought that you would come' she said, still +holding him by the hand. + +'I did not know what to do,' he answered. 'I couldn't say which was +best. Now I am here I shall only be in your way.' He did not dare to +press her hand, nor could he bring himself to take his away from her. + +'In my way yes; as an angel, to tell me what to do in my trouble. I +knew you would come, because you are so good. But you will have +breakfast see, I have got it ready for you.' + +'Oh no; I breakfasted at Redicote. I would not trouble you.' + +'Trouble me, Will! Oh, Will, if you knew!' Then there came tears in her +eyes, and at the sight of them both his own were filled. How was he to +stand it? To take her to his bosom and hold her there for always; to +wipe away her tears so that she should weep no more; to devote himself +and all his energy and all that was his comfort to her this he could +have done; but he knew not how to do anything short of this. Every word +that she spoke to him was an encouragement to this, and yet he knew +that it could not be so. To say a word of his love, or even to look it, +would now be an unmanly insult. And yet, how was he not to look it not +to speak of it? 'It is such a comfort that you should be here with me,' +she said. + +'Then I am glad I am here, though I do not know what I can do. Did he +suffer much, Clara?' + +'No, I think not; very little. He sank at last quicker than I expected, +but just as I thought he would go. He used to speak of you so often, +and. always with regard and esteem!' + +' Dear old man!' + +'Yes, Will; he was, in spite of his little faults. No father ever loved +his daughter better than he loved me.' + +After a while the servant brought in the tea, explaining to Belton that +Miss Clara had neither eaten nor drank that morning. 'She wouldn't take +anything till you came, sir.' Then Will added his entreaties, and Clara +was persuaded, and by degrees there grew between them more ease of +manner and capability for talking than had been within their reach when +they first met. And during the morning many things were explained, as +to which Clara would a few hours previously have thought it to be +almost impossible that she should speak to her cousin. She had told him +of her aunt's money, and the way in which she had on that very morning +sent back the cheque to the lawyer; and she had said something also as +to Lady Aylmer's views, and her own views as to Lady Aylmer. With Will +this subject was one most difficult of discussion; and he blushed and +fidgeted in his chair, and walked about the room, and found himself +unable to look Clara in the face as she spoke to him. But she went on, +goading him with the name, which of all names was the most distasteful +to him; and mentioning that name almost in terms of reproach of +reproach which he felt it would be ungenerous to reciprocate, but which +he would have exaggerated to unmeasured abuse if he had given his +tongue licence to speak his mind. + +'I was right to send back the money wasn't I, Will? Say that I was +right. Pray tell me that you think so!' + +'I don't understand it at present, you see; I am no lawyer.' + +'But it doesn't want a lawyer to know that I couldn't take the money +from him. I am sure you feel that.' + +'If a man owes money of course he ought to pay it.' + +'But he doesn't owe it, Will. It is intended for generosity.' + +'You don't want anybody's generosity, certainly.' Then he reflected +that Clara must, after all, depend entirely on the generosity of some +one till she was married; and he wanted to explain to her that +everything he had in the world was at her service was indeed her own. +Or he would have explained, if he knew how, that he did not intend to +take advantage of the entail that the Belton estate should belong to +her as the natural heir of her father. But he conceived that the moment +for explaining this had hardly as yet arrived, and that he bad better +confine himself to some attempt at teaching her that no extraneous +assistance would be necessary to her, 'In money matters,' said he, 'of +course you are to look to me. That is a matter of course. I'll see +Green about the other affairs. Green and I are friends. We'll settle +it.' + +'That's not what I meant, Will.' + +'But it's what I mean. This is one of those things in which a man has +to act on his own judgment. Your father and I understood each other.' + +'He did not understand that I was to accept your bounty.' + +'Bounty is a nasty word, and I hate it. You accepted me as your +brother, and as such I mean to act.' The word almost stuck in his +throat, but be brought it out at last in a fierce tone, of which she +understood accurately the cause and meaning. 'All money matters about +the place must be settled by me. Indeed, that's why I came down.' + +'Not only for that, Will?' + +'Just to be useful in that way, I mean.' + +'You came to see me because you knew I should want you.' Surely this +was malice prepense! Knowing what was his want, how could she +exasperate it by talking thus of her own? 'As for money, I have no +claim on any one. No creature was ever more forlorn. But I will not +talk of that.' + +'Did you not say that you would treat me as a brother?' + +'I did not mean that I was to be a burden on you.' + +'I know what I meant, and that is sufficient.' Belton had been at the +house some hours before he made any signs of leaving her, and when he +did so he had to explain something of his plans. He would remain, he +said, for about a week in the neighbourhood. + +She of course was obliged to ask him to stay at the house at the house +which was in fact his own; but he declined to do this, blurting out his +reason at last very plainly. 'Captain Aylmer would not like it, and I +suppose you are bound to think of what he likes and dislikes.' 'I don't +know what right Captain Aylmer would have to dislike any such thing,' +said Clara. But, nevertheless, she allowed the reason to pass as +current, and did not press her invitation. Will declared that he would +stay at the inn at Redicote,, striving to explain in some very +unintelligible manner that such an arrangement would be very +convenient. He would remain at Redicote, and would come over to Belton +every day during his sojourn in the country. Then he asked one question +in a low whisper as to the last sad ceremony, and, having received an +answer, started off with the declared intention of calling on Colonel +Askerton. + +The next two or three days passed uncomfortably enough with Will +Belton. He made his head- quarters at the little inn of Redicote, and +drove himself backwards and forwards between that place and the estate +which was now his own. On each of these days he saw Colonel Askerton, +whom he found to be a civil pleasant man, willing enough to rid himself +of the unpleasant task he had undertaken, but at the same time, willing +also to continue his services if any further services were required of +him. But of Mrs Askerton on these occasions Will saw nothing, nor had +he ever spoken to her since the time of his first visit to the Castle. +Then came the day of the funeral, and after that rite was over he +returned with his cousin to the house. There was no will to be read. +The old squire had left no will, nor was there anything belonging to +him at the time of his death that he could bequeath. The furniture in +the house, the worn-out carpets and old-fashioned chairs, belonged to +Clara; but, beyond that, property had she none, nor had it been in her +father's power to endow her with anything. She was alone in the world, +penniless, with a conviction on her own mind that her engagement with +Frederic Aylmer must of necessity come to an end, and with a feeling +about her cousin which she could hardly analyse, but which told her +that she could not go to his house in Norfolk, nor live with him at +Belton Castle, nor trust herself in his hands as she would into those +of a real brother. + +On the afternoon of the day on which her father had been buried, she +brought to him a letter, asking him to read it, and tell her what she +should do. The letter was from Lady Aylmer, and contained an invitation +to Aylmer Castle. It had been accompanied, as the reader may possibly +remember, by a letter from Captain Aylmer himself. Of this she of +course informed her cousin; but she did not find it to be necessary to +show the letter of one rival to the other. Lady Aylmer's letter was +cold in its expression of welcome, but very dictatorial in pointing out +the absolute necessity that Clara should accept the invitation so +given. 'I think you will not fail to agree with me, dear Miss Amedroz,' +the letter said, 'that under these strange and perplexing +circumstances, this is the only roof which can, with any propriety, +afford you a shelter.' 'And why not the poor-house?' she said, aloud to +her cousin, when she perceived that his eye had descended so far on the +page. He shook his head angrily, but said nothing; and when he had +finished the letter he folded it and gave it back still in silence. +'And what am I to do?' she said. 'You tell me that I am to come to you +for advice in everything.' + +'You must decide for yourself here.' + +'And you won't advise me.. You won't tell me whether she is right? + +'I suppose she is right.' + +'Then I had better go?' + +'If you mean to marry Captain Aylmer, you had better go.' + +'I am engaged to him.' + +'Then you had better go.' + +'But I will not submit myself to her tyranny.' + +'Let the marriage take place at once, and you will have to submit only +to his. I suppose you are prepared for that?' + +'I do not know. I do not like tyranny.' + +Again he stood silent for awhile, looking at her, and then he answered: +' I should not tyrannize over you, Clara.' + +'Oh, Will, Will, do not speak like that. Do not destroy everything.' + +'What am I to say?' + +'What would you say if your sister, your real sister, asked advice in +such a strait? If you had a sister, who came to you, and told you all +her difficulty, you would advise her. You would not say words to make +things worse for her.' + +'It would be very different.' + +'But you said you would be my brother.' + +'How am I to know what you feel for this man? It seems to me that you +half hate him, half fear him, and sometimes despise him.' + +'Hate him! No I never hate him.' + +'Go to him, then, and ask him what you had better do. Don't ask me.' +Then he hurried out of the room, slamming the door behind him. But +before he had half gone down the stairs he remembered the ceremony at +which he had just been present, and how desolate she was in the world, +and he returned to her. 'I beg your pardon, Clara,' he said, 'I am +passionate; but I must be a beast to show my passion to you on such a +day as this. If I were you I should accept Lady Aylmer's invitation +merely thanking her for it in the ordinary way. I should then go and +see how the land lay. That is the advice I should give my sister.' + +'And I will if it is only because you tell me.' + +'But as for a home tell her you have one of your own at Belton Castle, +from which no one can turn you out, and where no one can intrude on +you. This house belongs to you.' Then, before she could answer him, he +had left the room and she listened to his heavy quick footsteps as he +went across the hall and out of the front door. + +He walked across the park and entered the little gate of Colonel +Askerton's garden, as though it were his habit to go to the cottage +when he was at Belton. There had been various matters on which the two +men had been brought into contact concerning the old squire's death and +the tenancy of the cottage, so that they had become almost intimate. +Belton had nothing new that he specially desired to say to Colonel +Askerton, whom, indeed, he had seen only a short time before at the +funeral; but he wanted the relief of speaking to some one before he +returned to the solitude of the inn at Redicote. On this occasion, +however, the colonel was out, and the maid asked him if he would see +Mrs Askerton. When he said something about not troubling her, the girl +told him that her mistress wished to speak to him, and then he had no +alternative but to allow himself to be shown into the drawing-room. + +'I want to see you a minute,' said Mrs Askerton, bowing to him without +putting out her hand, 'that I might ask you how you find your cousin.' + +'She is pretty well, I think' + +'Colonel Askerton has seen more of her than I have since her father's +death, and he says that she does not bear it well. He thinks that she +is ill.' + +'I do not think her ill. Of course she is not in good spirits.' + +'No; exactly. How should she be? But he thinks she seems so worn. I +hope you will excuse me, Mr Belton, but I love her so well that I +cannot bear to be quite in the dark as to her future. Is anything +settled yet?' + +'She is going to Aylmer Castle.' + +'To Aylmer Castle! Is she indeed? At once?' + +'Very soon. Lady Aylmer has asked her.' + +'Lady Aylmer! Then I suppose' + +'You suppose what?' Will Belton asked. + +'I did not think she would have gone to Aylmer Castle though I dare say +it is the best thing she could do She seemed to me to dislike the +Aylmers that is, Lady Aylmer so much! But I suppose she is right?' + +'She is right to go if she likes it.' + +'She is circumstanced so cruelly! Is she not? Where else could she go? +I do so feel for her. I believe I need hardly tell you, Mr Belton, +that, she would be as welcome here as flowers in May but that I do not +dare to ask her to come to us.' She said this in a low voice, turning +her eyes away from him, looking first upon the ground, and then again +up at the window but still not daring to meet his eye. + +'I don't exactly know about that,' said Belton awkwardly. + +'You know, I hope, that I love her dearly.' + +'Everybody does that,' said Will. + +'You do, Mr Belton.' + +'Yes I do; just as though she were my sister.' + +'And as your sister would you let her come here to us?' He sat silent +for awhile, thinking, and she waited patiently for his answer. Bat she +spoke again before he answered her. 'I am well aware that you know all +my history, Mr Belton.' + +'I shouldn't tell it her, if you mean that, though she were my sister. +If she were my wife I should tell her.' + +'And why your wife?' + +'Because then I should be sure it would do no harm.' + +'Then I find that you can be generous, Mr Belton. But she knows it all +as well as you do.' + +'I did not tell her.' + +'Nor did I but I should have done so had not Captain Aylmer been before +me. And now tell me whether I could ask her to come here.' + +'It would be useless, as she is going to Aylmer Castle'. + +'But she is going there simply to find a home having no other.' + +'That is not so, Mrs Askerton. She has a home as perfectly her own as +any woman in the land. Belton Castle is hers, to do what she may please +with it. She can live here if she likes it, and nobody can say a word +to her. She need not go to Aylmer Castle to look for a home.' + +'You mean you would lend her the house?' + +'It is hers.' + +'I do not understand you, Mr Belton.' + +'It does not signify we will say no more about it.' + +'And you think she likes going to Lady Aylmer's?' + +'How should I say what she likes?' + +Then there was another pause before Mrs Askerton spoke again. 'I can +tell you one thing,' she said: 'she does not like him.' + +'That is her affair.' + +'But she should be taught to know her own mind before she throws +herself away altogether. You would not wish your cousin to marry a man +whom she does not love because at one time she had come to think that +she loved him. That is the truth of it, Mr Belton. If she goes to +Aylmer Castle she will marry him and she will be an unhappy woman +always afterwards. If you would sanction her coming here for a few +days, I think all that would be cured. She would come in a moment, if +you advised her.' + +Then he went away, allowing himself to make no further answer at the +moment, and discussed the matter with himself as he walked back to +Redicote, meditating on it with all his mind, and all his heart, and +all his strength. And, as he meditated, it came on to rain bitterly a +cold piercing February rain and the darkness of night came upon him, +and he floundered on through the thick mud of the Somersetshire lanes, +unconscious of the weather and of the darkness. There was a way open to +him by which he might even yet get what he wanted. He thought he saw +that there was a way open to him through the policy of this woman, whom +he perceived to have become friendly to him. He saw, or thought that he +saw, it all. No day had absolutely been fixed for this journey to +Yorkshire; and if Clara were induced to go first to the cottage, and +stay there with Mrs Askerton, no such journey might ever be taken. He +could well understand that such a visit on her part would give a mortal +offence to all the Aylmers. That tyranny of which Clara spoke with so +much dread would be exhibited then without reserve, and so there would +be an end altogether of the Aylmer alliance. But were she once to start +for Aylmer Park, then there would be no hope for him. Then her fate +would be decided -and his. As far as he could see, too as far as he +could see then, there would be no dishonesty in this plan. Why should +Clara not go to Mrs Askerton's house? What could be more natural than +such a visit at such a time? If she were in truth his sister he would +not interfere to prevent it if she wished it. He had told himself that +the woman should be forgiven her offence, and had thought that that +forgiveness should be complete. If the Aylmers were so unreasonable as +to quarrel with her on this ground, let them quarrel with her. Mrs +Askerton had told him that Clara did not really like Captain Aylmer. +Perhaps it was so; and if so, what greater kindness could he do her +than give her an opportunity for escaping such a union? + +The whole of the next day he remained at Redicote, thinking, doubting, +striving to reconcile his wishes and his honesty. It rained all day, +and as he sat alone, smoking in the comfortless inn, he told himself +that the rain was keeping him but in truth it was not the rain. Had he +resolved to do his best to prevent this visit to Yorkshire, or had he +resolved to further it, I think he would have gone to Belton without +much fear of the rain. On the second day after the funeral he did go, +and he had then made up his mind. Clara, if she would listen to him, +should show her independence of Lady Aylmer by staying a few days with +the Askertons before she went to Yorkshire, and by telling Lady Aylmer +that such was her intention. 'If she really loves the man,' he said to +himself, 'she will go at once, in spite of anything that I can say. If +she does not, I shall be saving her.' + +'How cruel of you not to come yesterday! ' Clara said, as soon as she +saw him., + +'It rained hard,' he answered. + +' But men like you care so little for rain; but that is when you have +business to take you out or pleasure.' + +'You need not be so severe. The truth is I had things to trouble me.' + +'What troubled you, Will. I thought all the trouble was mine.' + +'I suppose everybody thinks that his own shoe pinches the hardest.' + +'Your shoe can't pinch you very bad, I should think. Sometimes when I +think of you it seems that you are an embodiment of prosperity and +happiness.' + +'I don't see it myself that's all. Did you write to Lady Aylmer, Clara?' + +'I wrote; but I didn't send it. I would not send any letter till I had +shown it to you, as you are my confessor and adviser. There; read it. +Nothing, I think, could be more courteous or less humble.' He took the +letter and read it. Clara had simply expressed herself willing to +accept Lady Aylmer's invitation, and asked her ladyship to fix a day. +There was no mention of Captain Aylmer's name in the note. + +'And you think this is best?' he said. His voice was hardly like his +own as he spoke. There was wanting to it that tone of self-assurance +which his voice almost always possessed, even when self- assurance was +lacking to his words. + +'I thought it was your own advice,' she said. + +'Well yes; that is, I don't quite know. You couldn't go for a week or +so yet, I suppose.' + +'Perhaps in about a week.' + +'And what will you do till then.?' + +'What will I do!' + +'Yes where do you mean to stay?' + +'I thought, Will, that perhaps you would let me remain here.' + +'Let you! Oh, heavens! Look here, Clara.' + +'Before heaven I want what may be the best for you without thinking of +you, if I could only help it.' + +'I have never doubted you. I never will doubt you. I believe in you +next to my God. I do, Will; I do.' He walked up and down the room +half-a-dozen times before he spoke again, while she stood by the table +watching him. 'I wish,' she said, 'I knew what it is that troubles +you.' To this he made no answer, but went on walking till she came up +to him, and putting both her hands upon his arm said, 'It will be +better, Will, that I should go will it not? Speak to me, and say so. I +feel that it will be better.' Then he stopped in his walk and looked +down upon her, as her hands still rested upon his shoulder. He gazed +upon her for some few seconds, remaining quite motionless, and then, +opening his arms, he surrounded her with his embrace, and pressing her +with all his strength close to his bosom, kissed her forehead, and her +cheeks, and her lips, and her eyes. His will was so masterful, his +strength so great, and his motion so quick, that she was powerless to +escape from him till he relaxed his hold. Indeed she hardly struggled, +so much was she surprised and so soon released. But the moment that he +left her he saw that her face was burning red, and that the tears were +streaming from her eyes. She stood for a moment trembling, with her +hands clenched, and with a look of scorn upon her lips and brow that he +had never seen before; and then she threw herself on a sofa, and, +burying her face, sobbed aloud; while her whole body was shaken as with +convulsions. He leaned over her repentant, not knowing what to do, not +knowing how to speak. All ideas of his scheme had gone from him now. He +had offended her for ever past redemption. What could be the use now of +any scheme? And as he stood there he hated himself because of his +scheme. The utter misery and disgrace of the present moment had come +upon him because he had thought more of himself than of her. It was but +a few moments since she had told him that she trusted him next to her +God; and yet in those few moments, he had shown himself utterly +unworthy of that trust, and had destroyed all her confidence. But he +could not leave, her without speaking to her. 'Clara!' he said 'Clara.' +But she did not answer him. 'Clara; will you not speak to me? Will you +not let me ask you to forgive me?' But still she only sobbed. For her, +at that moment, we may say that sobbing was easier than speech. How was +she to pardon so great an offence? How was she to resent such +passionate love? + +But he could not continue to stand there motionless, all but +speechless, while she lay with her face turned away from him. He must +at any rate in some manner take himself away out of the room; and this +he could not do, even in his present condition of unlimited disgrace, +without a word of farewell. 'Perhaps I had better go and leave you,' he +said. + +Then at last there came a voice, 'Oh, Will, why have you done this? +Why have you treated me so badly?' When he had last seen her face her +mouth had been full of scorn, but, there was, no scorn now in her +voice. 'Why why why?' + +Why indeed except that it was needful for him that she should know the +depth of his passion. 'If you will forgive me, Clara, I will not offend +you so again,' he said. + +'You have offended me. What am I to say? What am I to do? I have no +other friend.' + +'I am a wretch. I know that I am a wretch.' + +'I did not suspect that you would be so cruel. Oh, Will!' + +But before he went she told him that she had forgiven him, and she had +preached to him a solemn, sweet sermon on the wickedness of yielding, +to momentary impulses. Her low, grave words sank into his ears as +though they were divine; and when she said a word to him, blushing as +she spoke, of the sin of his passion and of what her sin would be, if +she were to permit it, he sat by her weeping like an infant, tears +which were certainly tears of innocence. She had been very angry with +him; but I think she loved him better when, her sermon was finished +than she had ever loved him before. + +There was no further question as to her going to Aylmer Castle, nor was +any mention made of Mrs Askerton's invitation to the cottage. The +letter for Lady Aylmer was sent, and it was agreed between them that +Will should remain at Redicote till the answer from Yorkshire should +come, and should then convey Clara as far as London on her journey. And +when he took leave of her that afternoon, she was able to give him her +hand in her old hearty, loving way, and to call him Will with the old +hearty, loving tone. And he he was able to accept these tokens of her +graciousness, as though they were signs of a pardon which she had been +good to give, but which he certainly had not deserved. + +As he went back to Redicote, he swore to himself that he would never +love any woman but her even though she must be the wife of Captain +Aylmer. + + +CHAPTER XXIII + +THE LAST DAY AT BELTON + +In course of post there came an answer from Lady Aylmer, naming a day +for Clara's journey to Yorkshire, and also a letter from Captain +Aylmer, in, which he stated that he would meet her in London and convey +her down to Aylmer Park. 'The House is sitting,' he said, 'and +therefore I shall be a little troubled about my time; but I cannot +allow that your first meeting with my mother should take place in my +absence.' This was all very well, but at the end of the letter there +was a word of caution that was not so well. 'I am sure, my dear Clara, +that you will remember how much is due to my mother's age, and +character, and position. Nothing will be wanted to the happiness of our +marriage, if you can succeed in gaining her affection, and therefore I +make it my first request to you, that you should endeavour to win her +good opinion.' There was nothing perhaps really amiss, certainly +nothing unreasonable, in such words from a future husband to his future +wife; but Clara, as she read them, shook her head and pressed her foot +against the ground in anger. It would not do. Sorrow would come and +trouble and disappointment. She did not say so, even to herself in +words; but the words, though not spoken, were audible enough to +herself. She could not, would not, bend to Lady Aylmer, and she knew +that trouble would come of this visit. + +I fear that many ladies will condemn Miss Amedroz when I tell them that +she showed this letter to her Cousin Will. It does not promise well for +any of the parties concerned when a young woman with two lovers can +bring herself to show the love-letters of him to whom she is engaged to +the other lover whom she has refused! But I have two excuses to put +forward in Clara's defence. In the first place, Captain Aylmer's +love-letters were not in truth love-letters, but were letters of +business; and in the next place, Clara was teaching herself to regard +Will Belton as her brother, and to forget that he had ever assumed the +part of a lover. + +She was so teaching herself, but I cannot say that the lesson was one +easily learned; nor had the outrage upon her of which Will had been +guilty, and which was described in the last chapter, made the teaching +easier. But she had determined, nevertheless, that it should be so. +When she thought of Will her heart would become very soft towards him; +and sometimes, when she thought of Captain Aylmer, her heart would +become anything but soft towards him. Unloving feelings would be very +strong within her bosom as she re-read his letters, and remembered that +he had not come to her, but had sent her seventy-five pounds to comfort +her in her trouble! Nevertheless, he was to be her husband, and she +would do her duty. What might have happened had Will Belton come to +Belton Castle before she had known Frederic Aylmer of that she stoutly +resolved that she would never think at all; and consequently the +thought was always intruding upon her. + +'You will sleep one night in town, of course?' said Will. + +'I suppose so. You know all about it. I shall do as I'm told.' + +'You can't go down to Yorkshire from here in one day. Where would you +like to stay in London?' + +'How on earth should I know? Ladies do sleep at hotels in London +sometimes, I suppose?' + +'Oh yes. I can write and have rooms ready for you.' + +'Then that difficulty is over,' said Clara. + +But in Belton's estimation the difficulty was not exactly over. Captain +Aylmer would, of course, be in London that night, and it was a question +with Will whether or no Clara was not bound in honour to tell the +accursed beast, I am afraid Mr Belton called him in his soliloquies +where she would lodge on the occasion. Or would it suffice that he, +Will, should hand her over to the enemy at the station of the Great +Northern Railway on the following morning? All the little intricacies +of the question presented themselves to Will's imagination. How careful +he would be with her, that the inn accommodation should suffice for her +comfort! With what pleasure would he order a little dinner for them +two, making something of a gentle fˆte of the occasion! How sedulously +would he wait upon her with those little attentions, amounting almost +to worship, with which such men as Will Belton are prone to treat all +women in exceptionable circumstances, when the ordinary routine of life +has been disturbed! If she had simply been his cousin, and if he had +never regarded her otherwise, how happily could he have done all this! +As things now were, if it was left to him to do, he should do it, with +what patience and grace might be within his power; he would do it, +though he would be mindful every moment of the bitterness of the +transfer which he would so soon be obliged to make; but he doubted +whether it would not be better for Clara's sake that the transfer +should be made overnight. He would take her up to London, because in +that way he could be useful; and then he would go away and hide +himself. 'Has Captain Aylmer said where he would meet you?' he asked +after a pause. + +'Of course I must write and tell him.' + +'And is he to come to you when you reach London?' + +'He has said nothing about that. 'He will probably be at the House of +Commons, or too busy somewhere to come to me then. But why do you ask? +Do you wish to hurry through town?' + +'Oh dear, no.' + +'Or perhaps you have friends you want to see. Pray don't let me be in +your way. I shall do very well, you know.' + +Belton rebuked her by a look before he answered her. 'I was only +thinking,' he said, 'of what would be most convenient for yourself. I +have nobody to see, and nothing to do, and nowhere to go to.' Then +Clara understood it all, and said that she would write to Captain +Aylmer and ask him, to join them at the hotel. + +She determined that she would see Mrs Askerton before she went; and as +that lady did not come to the Castle, Clara called upon her at the +cottage. This she did the day before she left, and she took her cousin +with her. Belton had been at the cottage once or twice since the day on +which Mrs Askerton had explained to him how the Aylmer alliance might +be extinguished, but Colonel Askerton had always been there, and no +reference had been made to the former conversation. Colonel Askerton +was not there now, and Belton was almost afraid that words would be +spoken to which he would hardly know how to listen. + +'And so you are really going?' said Mrs Askerton. + +'Yes; we start tomorrow,' said Clara. + +'I am not thinking of the journey to London,' said Mrs Askerton, 'but +of the danger and privations of your subsequent progress to the North.' + +'I shall do very well. I am not afraid that any one will eat me.' + +'There are so many different ways of eating people! Are there not, Mr +Belton?' + +'I don't know about eating, but there are a great many ways of boring +people,' said he. + +'And I should think they will be great at that kind of thing at Aylmer +Castle. One never hears of Sir Anthony, but I can fancy Lady Aylmer to +be a terrible woman.' + +'I shall manage to hold my own, I dare say,' said Clara. + +'I hope you will; I do hope you will,' said Mrs Askerton. 'I don't know +whether you will be powerful to do so, or whether you will fail; my +heart is not absolute; but I do know what will be the result if you are +successful.' + +'It is much more then than I know myself.' + +'That I can believe too. Do you travel down to Yorkshire alone?' + +'No; Captain Aylmer will meet me in town.' + +Then Mrs Askerton looked at Mr Belton, but made no immediate reply; nor +did she say anything further about Clara's journey. She looked at Mr +Belton, and Will caught her eye, and understood that he was being +rebuked for not having carried out that little scheme which, had been +prepared for him. But he had come to hate the scheme, and almost hated +Mrs Askerton for proposing it. He had declared to himself that her +welfare, Clara's welfare, was the one thing which the should regard; +and he had told himself that he was not strong enough, either in +purpose or in wit, to devise schemes for her welfare. She was better +able to manage things for herself than he was to manage them for her. +If she loved this 'accursed beast,' let her marry him; only for that +was now his one difficulty only he could not bring himself to think it +possible that she should love him. + +'I suppose you will never see this place again?' said Mrs Askerton +after a long pause. + +'I hope I shall, very often,' said Clara. 'Why should I not see it +again? It is not going out of the family.' + +'No not exactly out of the family. That is, it will belong to your +cousin.' + +'And cousins may be as far apart as strangers, you mean; but Will and I +are not like that; are we, Will?' + +'I hardly know what we are like,' said he. + +'You do not mean to say that you will throw me over? But the truth is, +Mrs Askerton, that I do not mean to be thrown over. I look upon him as +my brother, and I intend to cling to him as sisters do cling.' + +'You will hardly come back here before you are married,' said Mrs +Askerton. It was a terrible speech for her to make, and could only be +excused on the ground that the speaker was in truth desirous of doing +that which she thought would benefit both of those whom she addressed. + +'Of course you are going to your wedding now?' + +'I am doing nothing of the kind,' said Clara. 'How can you speak in +that way to me so soon after my father's death? It is a rebuke to me +for being here at all.' + +'I intend no rebuke, as you well know. What I mean is this; if you do +not stay in Yorkshire till you are married, let the time be when it +may, where do you intend to go in the meantime?' + +'My plans are not settled yet.' + +'She will have this house if she pleases,' said Will. 'There will be no +one else here. It will be her own, to do as she likes with it.' + +'She will hardly come here to be alone.' + +'I will not be inquired into, my dear,' said Clara, speaking with +restored good-humour. 'Of course I am an unprotected female, and +subject to disadvantages. Perhaps I have no plans for the future; and +if I have plans, perhaps I do not mean to divulge them.' + +'I had better come to the point at once,' said Mrs Askerton. 'If if if +it should ever suit you, pray come here to us. Flowers shall not be +more welcome in May. It is difficult to speak of it all, though you +both understand everything as well as I do. I cannot press my +invitation as another woman might.' + +'Yes, you can,' said Clara with energy. 'Of course you can.' + +'Can I? Then I do. Dear Clara, do come to us.' And then as she spoke +Mrs Askerton knelt on the ground at her visitor's knees. 'Mr Belton, do +tell her that when she is tired with the grandeur of Aylmer Park she +may come to us here.' + +'I don't know anything about the grandeur of Aylmer Park,' said Will, +suddenly. + +'But she may come here may she not?' + +'She will not ask my leave,' said he. + +'She says that you are her brother. Whose leave should she ask?' + +'He knows that I should ask his rather than that of any living person,' +said Clara. + +'There, Mr Belton. Now you must say that she may come or that she may +not.' + +'I will say nothing. She knows what to do much better than I can tell +her.' + +Mrs Askerton was still kneeling, and again appealed to Clara. 'You hear +what he says. What do you say yourself? Will you come to us? that is, +if such a visit will suit you in point of convenience?' + +'I will make no promise; but I know no reason why I should not.' + +'And I must be content with that? Well: I will be content.' Then she +got up. 'For such a one as I am, that is a great deal. And, Mr Belton, +let me tell you this I can be grateful to you, though you cannot be +gracious to me.' + +'I hope I have not been ungracious,' said he. + +'Upon my word, I cannot compliment you. But there is something so much +better than grace, that I can forgive you. You know, at any rate, how +thoroughly I wish you well.' + +Upon this Clara got up to take her leave, and the demonstrative +affection of an embrace between the two women afforded a remedy for the +awkwardness of the previous conversation. + +'God bless you, dearest,' said Mrs Askerton. 'May I write to you?' + +'Certainly,' said Clara. + +'And you will answer my letters?' + +'Of course I will. You must tell me everything about the place and +especially as to Bessy. Bessy is never to be sold is she, Will? Bessy +was the cow which Belton had given her. + +'Not if you choose to keep her.' + +'I will go down and see to her myself,' said Mrs Askerton, and will +utter little prayers of my own over her horns that certain events that +I desire may come to pass. Good-bye, Mr Belton. You may be as +ungracious as you please, but it will not make any difference.' + +When Clara and her cousin left the cottage they did not return to the +house immediately, but took a last walk round the park, and through the +shrubbery, and up to the rocks on which a remarkable scene bad once +taken place between them. Few words were spoken as they were walking, +and there had been no agreement as to the path they would take. Each +seemed to understand that there was much of melancholy in their present +mood, and that silence was more fitting than speech. But when they +reached the rocks Belton sat himself down, asking Clara's leave to stop +there for a moment. 'I don't suppose I shall ever come to this place +again,' said he. + +'You are as bad as Mrs Askerton,' said Clara. + +'I do not think I shall ever come to this place again,' said he, +repeating his words very solemnly. At any rate, I will never do so +willingly, unless' + +'Unless what?' + +'Unless you are either my wife, or have promised to become so.' + +'Oh, Will; you know that that is impossible.' + +'Then it is impossible that I should come here again.' + +'You know that I am engaged to another man.' + +'Of course I do. I am not asking you to break your engagement. I am +simply telling you that in spite of that engagement I love you as well +as I did love you before you had made it. I have a right to let you +know the truth.' As if she had not known it without his telling it to +her now! 'It was here that I told you that I loved you. I now repeat it +here; and will never come here again unless I may say the same thing +over and over and over. That is all. We might as well go on now.' But +when he got up she sat down, as though unwilling to leave the spot. It +was still winter, and the rock was damp with cold drippings from the +trees, and the moss around was wet, and little pools of water had +formed themselves in the shallow holes upon the surface. She did not +speak as she seated herself; but he was of course obliged to wait till +she should be ready to accompany him. 'It is too cold for you to sit +there,' he said. 'Come, Clara; I will not have you loiter here. It is +cold and wet.' + +'It is not colder for me than for you.' + +'You are not used to that sort of thing as I am.' + +'Will,' she said, ' you must never speak to me again as you spoke just +now. Promise me that you will not.' + +'Promises will do no good in such a matter.' + +'It is almost a repetition of what you did before though of course it +is not so bad as that.' + +'Everything I do is bad.' + +'No, Will dear Will! Almost everything you do is good. But of what use +can it be to either of us for you to be thinking of that which can +never be? Cannot you think of me as your sister and only as your sister? + +'No; I cannot.' + +'Then it is not right that we should be together.' + +'I know nothing of right. You ask me a question, and I suppose you +don't wish that I should tell you a lie.' + +'Of course I do not wish that.' + +'Therefore I tell you the truth. I love you as any other man loves the +girl that he does love; and, as far as I know myself now, I never can +be happy unless you are my own.' + +'Oh, Will, how can that be when I am engaged to marry another man?' + +'As to your engagement I should care nothing. Does he love you as I +love you? If he loves you, why is he not here? If he loves you, why +does he let his mother ill-use you, and treat you with scorn? If he +loves you as I love you, how could he write to you as he does write? +Would I write to you such a letter as that? Would I let you be here +without coming to you to be looked after by any one else? If you had +said that you would be my wife, would I leave you in solitude and +sorrow, and then send you seventy-five pounds to console you? If you +think he loves you, Clara' + +'He thought he was doing right when he sent me the money.' + +'But he shouldn't have thought it right. Never mind. I don't want to +accuse him; but this I know and you know; he does not love you as I +love you.' + +'What can I say to answer you?' + +'Say that you will wait till you have seen him. Say that I may have a +hope a chance; that if he is cold, and hard, and and and, just what we +know he is, then I may have a chance.' + +'How can I say that when I am engaged to him? Cannot you understand +that I am wrong to let you speak of him as you do?' + +'How else am I to speak of him? Tell me this. Do you love him?' 'Yes I +do.' + +'I don't believe it!' + +'Will!' + +'I don't believe it. Nothing on earth shall make me believe it. It is +impossible impossible!' + +'Do you mean to insult me, Will?' + +'No; I do not mean to insult you, but I mean to tell you the truth. I +do not think you love that man as you ought to love the man whom you +are going to marry. I should tell you just the same thing if I were +really your brother. Of course it isn't that I suppose you love any one +else me for instance. I'm not such a fool as that. But I don't think +you love him; and I'm quite sure he doesn't love you. That's just what +I believe; and if I do believe it, how am I to help telling you?' + +'You've no right to have such beliefs.' + +'How am I to help it? Well never mind. I won't let you sit there any +longer. At any rate you'll be able to understand now that I shall never +come to this place any more.' Clara, as she got up to obey him, felt +that she also ought never to see it again unless, indeed unless + +They passed that evening together without any reference to the scene on +the rock, or any allusion to their own peculiar troubles. Clara, though +she would not admit to Mrs Askerton that she was going away from the +place for ever, was not the less aware that such might very probably be +the case. She had no longer any rights of ownership at Belton Castle, +and all that had taken place between her and her cousin tended to make +her feel that under no circumstances could she again reside there. Nor +was it probable that she would be able to make to Mrs Askerton the +visit of which they had been talking. If Lady Aylmer were wise so Clara +thought there would be no mention of Mrs Askerton at Aylmer Park; and, +if so, of course she would not outrage her future husband by proposing +to go to a house of which she knew that he disapproved. If Lady Aylmer +were not wise if she should take upon herself the task of rebuking +Clara for her friendship then, in such circumstances as those, Clara +believed that the visit to Mrs Askerton might be possible. + +But she determined that she would leave the home in which she had been +born, and had passed so many happy and so many unhappy days, as though +she were never to see it again. All her packing had been done, down to +the last fragment of an old letter that was stuffed into her +writing-desk; but, nevertheless, she went about the house with a candle +in her hand, as though she were still looking that nothing had been +omitted, while she was in truth saying farewell in her heart to every +corner which she knew so well. When at last she came down to pour out +for her desolate cousin his cup of tea, she declared that everything +was done. 'You may go to work now, Will,' she said, and do what you +please with the old place. My jurisdiction is over.' + +'Not altogether,' said he. He no longer spoke like a despairing lover. +Indeed there was a smile round his mouth, and his voice was cheery. + +'Yes altogether. I give over my sovereignty from this moment and a +dirty dilapidated sovereignty it is.' + +'That's all very well to say.' + +'And also very well to do. What best pleases me in going to Aylmer +Castle just now is the power it gives me of doing at once that which +otherwise I might have put off till the doing of it had become much +more unpleasant. Mr Belton, there is the key of the cellar which I +believe gentlemen always regard as the real sign of possession. I don't +advise you to trust much to the contents.' He took the key from her, +and without saying a word chucked it across the room on to an old sofa. +'If you won't take it, you had better, at any rate, have it tied up +with the others,' she said. + +'I dare say you'll know where to find it when you want it,' he answered. + +'I shall never want it.' + +'Then it's as well there as anywhere else.' + +'But you won't remember, Will.' + +'I don't suppose I shall have occasion for remembering.' Then he paused +a moment before he went on. 'I have told you before that I do not +intend to take possession of the place. I do not regard it as mine at +all.' + +'And whose is it, then?' + +'Yours.' + +'No, dear Will; it is not mine. You know that.' + +'I intend that it shall be so, and therefore you might as well put the +keys where you will know how to find them.' + +Alter he had gone she did take up the key, and tied it with sundry +others, which she intended to give to the old servant who was to be +left in charge of the house. But after a few moments' consideration she +took the cellar key again off the bunch, and put it back upon the sofa +in the place to which he had thrown it. + +On the following morning they started on their journey. The old fly +from Redicote was not used on this occasion, as Belton had ordered a +pair of post-horses and a comfortable carriage from Taunton. 'I think +it such a shame,' said Clara, 'going away for the last time without +having Jerry and the grey horse.' Jerry was the man who had once driven +her to Taunton when the old horse fell with her on the road. 'But Jerry +and the grey horse could not have taken you and me too, and all our +luggage,' said Will. 'Poor Jerry! I suppose not,' said Clara; 'but +still there is an injury done in going without him.' + +There were four or five old dependents of the family standing round the +door to bid her adieu, to all of whom she gave her hand with a cordial +pressure. They, at least, seemed to regard her departure as final. And +of course it was final. She had assured herself of that during the +night. And just as they were about to start, both Colonel and Mrs +Askerton walked up to the door. 'He wouldn't let you go without bidding +you farewell,' said Mrs Askerton. 'I am so glad to shake hands with +him,' Clara answered. Then the colonel spoke a word to her, and, as he +did so, his wife contrived to draw Will Belton for a moment behind the +carriage. 'Never give it up, Mr Belton,' said she eagerly. 'If you +persevere she'll be yours yet.' 'I fear not,' he said. 'Stick to her +like a man,' said she, pressing his hand in her vehemence. 'If you do, +you'll live to thank me for having told you so.' Will had not a word to +say for himself, but he thought that he would stick to her. Indeed, he +thought that he had stuck to her pretty well. + +At last they were off, and the village of Belton was behind them; Will, +glancing into his cousin's face, saw that her eyes were laden with +tears, and refrained from speaking. As they passed the ugly red-brick +rectory. house, Clara for a moment put her face to the window, and then +withdrew it. 'There is nobody there,' she said, 'who will care to see +me. Considering that I have lived here all my life, is it not odd that +there should be so few to bid me good-bye?' + +'People do not like to put themselves forward on such occasions,' said +Will. + +'People there are no people. No one ever had so few to care for them as +I have. And now But never mind; I mean to do very well, and I shall do +very well.' Belton would not take advantage of her in her sadness, and +they reached the station at Taunton almost without another word. + +Of course they had to wait there for half an hour, and of course the +waiting was very tedious. To Will it was very tedious indeed, as he was +not by nature good at waiting. To Clara, who on this occasion sat +perfectly still in the waiting-room, with her toes on the fender before +the fire, the evil of the occasion was not so severe. 'The man would +take two hours for the journey, though I told him an hour and a half +would be enough,' said Will, querulously. + +'But we might have had an accident.' + +'An accident! What accident? People don't have accidents every day.' + +At last the train came and they started. Clara, though she had with her +her best friend I may almost say the friend whom in the world she loved +the best did not have an agreeable journey. Belton would not talk; but +as he made no attempt at reading, Clara did not like to have recourse +to the book which she had in her travelling-bag. He sat opposite to +her, opening the window and shutting it as he thought she might like +it, but looking wretched and forlorn. At Swindon he brightened up for a +moment under the excitement of getting her something to eat, but that +relaxation lasted only for a few minutes. Alter that he relapsed again +into silence till the train had passed Slough and he knew that in +another half-hour they would be in London. Then he leant over her and +spoke. + +'This will probably be the last opportunity I shall have of saying a +few words to you alone.' + +'I don't know that at all, Will.' + +'It will be the last for a long time at any rate. And as I have got +something to say, I might as well say it now. I have thought a great +deal about the property the Belton estate, I mean; and I don't intend +to take it as mine.' + +'That is sheer nonsense, Will. You must take it, as it is yours, and +can't belong to any one else.' + +'I have thought it over, and I am quite sure that all the business of +the entail was wrong radically wrong from first to last. You are to +understand that my special regard for you has nothing whatever to do +with it. I should do the same thing if I felt that I hated you.' + +'Don't hate me, Will!' + +'You know what I mean. I think the entail was all wrong, and I shan't +take advantage of it. It's not common sense that I should have +everything because of poor Charley's misfortune.' + +'But it seems to me that it does not depend upon you or upon me, or +upon anybody. It is yours by law, you know.' + +'And therefore it won't be sufficient for me to give it up without +making it yours by law also which I intend to do. I shall stay in town +tomorrow and give instructions to Mr Green. I have thought it proper to +tell you this now, in order that you may mention it to Captain Aylmer.' + +They were leaning over in the carriage one towards the other; her face +had been slightly turned away from him; but now she slowly raised her +eyes till they met his, and looking into the depth of them, and seeing +there all his love and all his suffering, and the great nobility of his +nature, her heart melted within her. Gradually, as her tears came would +come, in spite of all her constraint, she again turned her face towards +the window. 'I can't talk now,' she said, 'indeed I can't.' + +'There is no need for any more talking about it,' be replied. And there +was no more talking between them, on that subject or on any other, till +the tickets bad been taken and the train was again in motion. Then he +referred to it again for a moment. 'You will tell Captain Aylmer, my +dear.' + +'I will tell him what you say, that he may know your generosity. But of +course he will agree with me that no such offer can be accepted. It is +quite quite quite out of the question.' + +'You had better tell him and say nothing more; or you can ask him to +see Mr Green after tomorrow. He, as a man who understands business, +will know that this arrangement must he made, if I choose to make it. +Come; here we are. Porter, a four-wheeled cab. Do you go with him, and +I'll look after the luggage.' + +Clara, as she got into the cab, felt that she ought to have been more +stout in her resistance to his offer. But it would be better, perhaps, +that she should write to him from Aylmer Park, and get Frederic to +write also. + + +CHAPTER XXIV + +THE GREAT NORTHERN RAILWAY HOTEL + +At the door of the hotel of the Great Northern Railway Station they +met Captain Aylmer. Rooms had been taken there because they were to +start by an early train on that line in the morning, and Captain Aylmer +had undertaken to order dinner. There was nothing particular in the +meeting to make it unpleasant to our friend Will. The fortunate rival +could do no more in the hall of the inn than give his hand to his +affianced bride, as he might do to any other lady, and then suggest to +her that she should go upstairs and see her room. When he had done +this, he also offered his hand to Belton; and Will, though he would +almost sooner have out off his own, was obliged to take it. In a few +minutes the two men were standing alone together in the sitting-room. + +'I suppose you found it cold coming up?' said the captain. + +'Not particularly,' said Will. + +'It's rather a long journey from Belton.' + +'Not very long,' said Will. + +'Not for you, perhaps; but Miss Amedroz must be tired.' + +Belton was angry at having his cousin called Miss Amedroz feeling that +the reserve of the name was intended to keep him at a distance. But he +would have been equally angry had Aylmer called her Clara. + +'My cousin,' said Will, stoutly, 'is able to bear slight fatigue of +that kind without suffering.' + +'I didn't suppose she suffered; but journeys are always tedious, +especially where there is so much roadwork. I believe you are twenty +miles from the station?' + +'Belton Castle is something over twenty miles from Taunton.' + +'We are seven from our station at Aylmer Park, and we think that a +great deal.' + +'I'm more than that at Plaistow,' said Will. + +'Oh, indeed. Plaistow is in Norfolk, I believe?' + +'Yes Plaistow is in Norfolk.' + +'I suppose you'll leave it now and go into Somersetshire,' suggested +Captain Aylmer. + +'Certainly not. Why should I leave it?' + +'I thought, perhaps as Belton Castle is now your own' + +'Plaistow Hall is more my own than Belton Castle, if that signifies +anything which it doesn't.' This he said in an angry tone, which, as he +became conscious of it, he tried to rectify. 'I've a deal of stock and +all that sort of thing at Plaistow, and couldn't very well leave it, +even if I wished it,' he said. + +'You've pretty good shooting too, I suppose,' said Aylmer. + +'As far as partridges go I'll back it against most properties of the +same extent in any county.' + +'I'm too busy a man myself,' said the captain, 'to do much at +partridges. We think more of pheasants down with us.' + +'I dare say.' + +'But a Norfolk man like you is of course keen about birds.' + +'We are obliged to put up with what we've got, you know not but what I +believe there is a better general head of game in Norfolk than in any +other county in England.' + +'That's what makes your hunting rather poor.' + +'Our hunting poor! Why do you say it's poor?' + +'So many of you are against preserving foxes.' + +'I'll tell you what, Captain Aylmer; I don't know what pack you hunt +with, but I'll bet you a five- pound note that we killed more foxes +last year than you did that is, taking three days a week. Nine- +and-twenty brace and a half in a short season I don't call poor at all.' + +Captain Aylmer saw that the man was waxing angry, and made no further +allusion either to the glories or deficiencies of Norfolk. As he could +think of no other subject on which to speak at the spur of the moment, +he sat himself down and took up a paper; Belton took up another, and so +they remained till Clara made her appearance. That Captain Aylmer read +his paper is probable enough. He was not a man easily disconcerted, and +there was nothing in his present position to disconcert him. But I feel +sure that Will Belton did not read a word. He was angry with this +rival, whom he hated, and was angry with himself for showing his anger. +He would have wished to appear to the best advantage before this man, +or rather before Clara in this man's presence; and he knew that in +Clara's absence be was making such a fool of himself that he would be +unable to recover his prestige. He had serious thoughts within his own +breast whether it would not be as well for him to get up from his seat +and give Captain Aylmer a thoroughly good thrashing: 'Drop into him and +punch his head,' as he himself would have expressed it. For the moment +such an exercise would give him immense gratification. The final +results would, no doubt, be disastrous; but then, all future results, +as far as he could see them, were laden with disaster. He was still +thinking of this, eyeing the man from under the newspaper, and telling +himself that the feat would probably be too easy to afford much +enjoyment, when Clara re-entered the room. Then he got up, acting on +the spur of the moment got up quickly and suddenly, and began to bid +her adieu. + +'But you are going to dine here, Will?' she said. + +'No; I think not.' + +'You promised you would. You told me you had nothing to do to-night.' +Then she turned to Captain Aylmer. 'You expect my cousin to dine with +us today?' + +'I ordered dinner for three,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'Oh, very well; it's all the same thing to me,' said Will. + +'And to me,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'It's not all the same thing to me,' said Clara. 'I don't know when I +may see my cousin again. I should think it very bad of you, Will, if +you went away this evening.' + +'I'll go out just for half an hour,' said he, 'and be back to dinner.' + +'We dine at seven,' said the captain. Then Belton took his hat and left +the two lovers together. + +'Your cousin seems to be a rather surly sort of gentleman.' Those were +the first words which Captain Aylmer spoke when he was alone with the +lady of his love. Nor was he demonstrative of his affection by any of +the usual signs of regard which are permitted to accepted lovers. He +did not offer to kiss her, nor did he attempt to take her hand with a +warmer pressure now that he was alone with her. He probably might have +gone through some such ceremony had he first met Clara in a position +propitious to such purposes; but, as it was, he had been a little +ruffled by Will Belton's want of good breeding, and had probably +forgotten that any such privileges might have been his. I wonder +whether any remembrance flashed across Clara's mind at this moment of +her Cousin Will's great iniquity in the sitting-room at Belton Castle. +She thought of it very often, and may possibly have thought of it now. + +'I don't believe that he is surly, Frederic,' she said. 'He may, +perhaps, be out of humour.' + +'And why should he be out of humour with me? I only suggested to him +that it might suit him to live at Belton instead of at that farm of +his, down in Norfolk.' + +'He is very fond of Plaistow, I fancy.' + +'But that's no reason why he should be cross with me. I don't envy him +his taste, that's all. If he can't understand that he, with his name, +ought to live on the family property which belongs to him, it isn't +likely that anything that I can say will open his eyes upon the +subject.' + +'The truth is, Frederic, he has some romantic notion about the Belton +estate.' + +'What romantic notion?' + +'He thinks it should not be his at all.' + +'Whose then? Who does he think should have it?' + +'Of course there can be nothing in it, you know; of course, it's all +nonsense.' + +'But what is his idea? Who does he think should be the owner? + +'He means that it should be mine. But of course, Frederic, it is all +nonsense; we know that.' + +It did not seem to be quite clear at the moment that Frederic had +altogether made up his mind upon the subject. As he heard those tidings +from Clara there came across his face a puzzled, dubious look, as +though he did not quite understand the proposition which had been +suggested to him as though some consideration were wanted before he +could take the idea home to himself and digest it, so as to enable +himself to express an opinion upon it. There might be something in it +some show of reason which did not make itself clear to Clara's feminine +mind. 'I have never known what was the precise nature of your father's +marriage settlement,' said he. + +Then Clara began to explain with exceeding eagerness that there was no +question as to the accuracy of the settlement, or the legality of the +entail that indeed there was no question as to anything. Her Cousin +Will was romantic, and that was the end of it. Of course quite as a +matter of course, this romance would lead to nothing; and she had only +mentioned the subject now to show that her cousin's mind might possibly +be disturbed when the question of his future residence was raised. 'I +quite feel with you,' she said, 'that it will be much nicer that he +should live at the old family place; but just at present I do not speak +about it.' + +'If he is thinking of not claiming Belton, it is quite another thing,' +said Aylmer. + +'It is his without any claiming,' said Clara. + +'Ah, well; it will all be settled before long,' said Aylmer. + +'It is settled already,' said Clara. + +At seven the three met again, and when the dinner was on the table +there was some little trouble as to the helping of the fish. Which of +the two men should take the lead on the occasion? But Clara decided the +question by asking her cousin to make himself useful. There can be +little doubt but that Captain Aylmer would have distributed the mutton +chops with much more grace, and have carved the roast fowl with much +more skill; but it suited Clara that Will should have the employment, +and Will did the work. Captain Aylmer, throughout the dinner, +endeavoured to be complaisant, and Clara exerted herself to talk as +though all matters around them were easy. Will, too, made his effort, +every now and then speaking a word, and restraining himself from +snapping at his rival; but the restraint was in itself evident, and +there were symptoms throughout the dinner that the untamed man was +longing to fly at the throat of the man that was tamed. + +'Is it supposed that I ought to go away for a little while?' said +Clara, as soon as she had drunk her own glass of wine. + +'Oh dear, no,' said the captain. 'We'll have a cup of coffee that is, +if Mr Belton likes it.' + +'It's all the same to me,' said Will. + +'But won't you have some more wine?' Clara asked. + +'No more for me,' said Captain Aylmer. 'Perhaps Mr Belton' + +'Who; I? No; I don't want any more wine,' said Will; and then they were +all silent. + +It was very hard upon Clara. After a while the coffee came, and even +that was felt to be a comfort. Though there was no pouring out to be +done, no actual employment enacted, still the manoeuvring of the cups +created a diversion. 'If either of you like to smoke,' she said, 'I +shan't mind it in the least.' But neither of them would smoke. 'At what +hour shall we get to Aylmer Park tomorrow?' Clara asked. + +'At half-past four,' said the captain. + +'Oh, indeed so early as that.' What was she to say next? Will, who had +not touched his coffee, and who was sitting stiffly at the table as +though he were bound in duty not to move, was becoming more and more +grim every moment. She almost repented that she had asked him to remain +with them. Certainly there was no comfort in his company, either to +them or to himself. 'How long shall you remain in town, Will, before +you go down to Plaistow?' she asked. + +'One day,' he replied. + +'Give my kind love my very kindest love to Mary. I wish I knew her. I +wish I could think that I might soon know her.' + +'You'll never know her,' said Belton. The tone of his voice was +actually savage as he spoke so much so that Aylmer turned in his chair +to look at him, and Clara did not dare to answer him. But now that he +had been made to speak, it seemed that he was determined to persevere. +'How should you ever know her? Nothing will ever bring you into +Norfolk, and nothing will ever take her out of it.' + +'I don't quite see why either of those assertions should be made.' + +'Nevertheless they're both true. Had you ever meant to come to Norfolk +you would have come now.' He had not even asked her to come, having +arranged with his sister that in their existing circumstances any such +asking would not be a kindness; and yet he rebuked her now for not +coming! + +'My mother is very anxious that Miss Amedroz should pay her a visit at +Aylmer Park,' said the captain. + +'And she's going to Aylmer Park, so your mother's anxiety need not +disturb her any longer.' + +'Come, Will, don't be out of temper with us,' said Clara. 'It is our +last night together. We, who are so dear to each other, ought not to +quarrel.' + +'I'm not quarrelling with you, said he. + +'I can hardly suppose that Mr Belton wants to quarrel with me,' said +Captain Aylmer, smiling. + +'I'm sure he does not,' said Clara. Belton sat silent, with his eyes +fixed upon the table, and with a dark frown upon his brow. He did long +to quarrel with Captain Aylmer; but was still anxious, if it might be +possible, to save himself from what he knew would be a transgression. + +'To use a phrase common with us down in Yorkshire,' said Aylmer, 'I +should say that Mr Belton had got out of bed the wrong side this +morning.' + +'What the d does it matter to you, sir, what side I got out of bed?' +said Will, clenching both his fists. Oh if he might have only been +allowed to have a round of five minutes with Aylmer, he would have been +restored to good temper for that night, let the subsequent results have +been what they might. He moved his feet impatiently on the floor, as +though he were longing to kick something; and then he pushed his +coffee-cup away from him, upsetting half the contents upon the table, +and knocking down a wineglass, which was broken. + +'Will Will!' said Clara, looking at him with imploring eyes. + +'Then he shouldn't talk to me about getting out of bed on the wrong +side; I didn't say anything to him.' + +'It is unkind of you, Will, to quarrel with Captain Aylmer because he +is my friend.' + +'I don't want to quarrel with him; or, rather, as I won't quarrel with +him because you don't wish it, I'll go away. I can't do more than that. +I didn't want to dine with him here. There's my cousin Clara, Captain +Aylmer; I love her better than all the world besides. Love her! It +seems to me that there's nothing else in the world for me to love. I'd +give my heart for her this minute. All that I have in the world is +hers. Oh love her! I don't believe that it's in you to know what I mean +when I say that I love her! She tells me that he's going to be your +wife. You can't suppose that I can be very comfortable under those +circumstances or that I can be very fond of you. I'm not very fond of +you. Now I'll go away, and then I shan't trouble you any more. But look +here if ever you should ill-treat her, whether you marry her or whether +you don't, I'll crush every bone in your skin.' Having so spoken he +went to the door, but stopped himself before he left the room. +'Good-bye, Clara. I've got a word or two more to say to you, but I'll +write you a line down-stairs. You can show it to him if you please. +It'll only be about business. Good-night.' + +She had got up and followed him to the door, and he had taken her by +the hand. 'You shouldn't let your passion get the better of you in this +way,' she said; but the tone of her voice was very soft, and her eyes +were full of love. + +'I suppose not,' said he. + +'I can forgive him,' said Captain Aylmer. + +'D your forgiveness,' said Will Belton. Then Clara dropped the hand +and started back, and the door was shut, and Will Belton was gone. + +'Your cousin seems to be a nice sort of young man,' said Aylmer. + +'Cannot you understand it all, Frederic, and pardon him?' + +'I can pardon him easily enough; but one doesn't like men who are given +to threatening. He's not the sort of man that I took him to be.' + +'Upon my word I think he's as nearly perfect as a man can be.' + +'Then you like men to swear at you, and to swagger like Bobadils and to +misbehave themselves, so that one has to blush for them if a servant +chances to hear them. Do you really think that he has conducted himself +today like a gentleman?' + +'I know that he is a gentleman,' said Clara. + +'I must confess I have no reason for supposing him to be so but your +assurance.' + +'And I hope that is sufficient, Frederic.' + +Captain Aylmer did not answer her at once, but sat for awhile silent, +considering what he would say. Clara, who understood his moods, knew +that he did not mean to drop the subject, and resolved that she would +defend her cousin, let Captain Aylmer attack him as he would. + +'Upon my word, I hardly know what to say about it,' said Aylmer. + +'Suppose then, that we say nothing more. Will not that be best?' + +'No, Clara. I cannot now let the matter pass by in that way. You have +asked me whether I do not think Mr Belton to be a gentleman, and I must +say that I doubt it. Pray hear me out before you answer me. I do not +want to be harder upon him than I can help; and I would have borne, and +I did bear from him, a great deal in silence. But he said that to me +which I cannot allow to pass without notice. He had the bad taste to +speak to me of his his regard for you.' + +'I cannot see what harm he did by that except to himself.' + +'I believe that it is understood among gentlemen that one man never +speaks to another man about the lady the other man means to marry, +unless they are very intimate friends indeed. What I mean is, that if +Mr Belton had understood how gentlemen live together he would never +have said anything to me about his affection for you. He should at any +rate have supposed me to be ignorant of it. There is something in the +very idea of his doing so that is in the highest degree in-delicate. I +wonder, Clara, that you do not see this yourself.' + +'I think he was indiscreet.' + +'Indiscreet! Indiscreet is not the word for such conduct. I must say, +that as far as my opinion goes, it was ungentlemanlike.' + +'I don't believe that there is a nobler-minded gentleman in all London +than my Cousin Will.' + +'Perhaps it gratified you to hear from him the assurance of his love?' +said Captain Aylmer. + +'If it is your wish to insult me, Frederic, I will leave you'. + +'It is my wish to make you understand that your judgment has been +wrong.' + +'That is simply a matter of opinion, and as I do not wish to argue with +you about it, I had better go. At any rate I am very tired. Goodnight, +Frederic.' He then told her what arrangements he had made for the +morrow, and what hour she would be called, and when she would have her +breakfast. After that he let her go without making any further allusion +to Will Belton. + +It must be admitted that the meeting between the lovers had not been +auspicious; and it must be acknowledged, also, that Will Belton had +behaved very badly. I am not aware of the existence of that special +understanding among gentlemen in respect to the ladies they are going +to marry which Captain Aylmer so eloquently described; but, +nevertheless, I must confess that Belton would have done better had he +kept his feelings to himself. And when he talked of crushing his +rival's bones, he laid himself justly open to severe censure. But, for +all that, he was no Bobadil. He was angry, sore, and miserable; and in +his anger, soreness, and misery, he had allowed himself to be carried +away. He felt very keenly his own folly, even as he was leaving the +room, and as he made his way out of the hotel he hated himself for his +own braggadocio. 'I wish some one would crush my bones,' he said to +himself almost audibly. 'No one ever deserved to be crushed better than +I do.' + +Clara, when she got to her own room, was very serious and very sad. +What was to be the end of it all? This had been her first meeting after +her father's death with the man whom she had promised to marry; indeed, +it was the first meeting after her promise had been given; and they had +only met to quarrel. There had been no word of love spoken between +them. She had parted from him now almost in anger, without the +slightest expression of confidence between them almost as those part +who are constrained by circumstances to be together, but who yet hate +each other and know that they hate each other. Was there in truth any +love between him and her? And if there was none, could there be any +advantage, any good either to him or to her, in this journey of hers to +Aylmer Park? Would it not be better that she should send for him and +tell him that they were not suited for each other, and that thus she +should escape from all the terrors of Lady Aylmer? As she thought of +this, she could not but think of Will Belton also. Not a gentleman! If +Will Belton was not a gentleman, she desired to know nothing further of +gentlemen. Women are so good and kind that those whom they love they +love almost the more when they commit offences, because of the offences +so committed. Will Belton had been guilty of great offences of offences +for which Clara was pre. pared to lecture him in the gravest manner +should opportunities for such lectures ever come but I think that they +had increased her regard for him rather than diminished it. She could +not, however, make up her mind to send for Captain Aylmer, and when she +went to bed she had resolved that the visit to Yorkshire must be made. + +Before she left the room the following morning, a letter was brought to +her from her cousin, which had been written that morning. She asked the +maid to inquire for him, and sent down word to him that if he were in +the house she specially wished to see him; but the tidings came from +the hall porter that he had gone out very early, and had expressly said +that he should not breakfast at the inn. + +The letter was as follows: + + + +'Dear Clara, + +I meant to have handed to you the enclosed in person, but I lost my +temper last night like a fool as I am and so I couldn't do it. You need +not have any scruple about the money which I send œ100 in ten ten-pound +notes as it is your own. There is the rent due up to your father's +death, which is more than what I now enclose, and there will be a great +many other items, as to all of which you shall have a proper account. +When you want more, you had better draw on me, till things are settled. +It shall all be done as soon as possible. It would not be comfortable +for you to go away without money of your own, and I suppose you would +not wish that he should pay for your journeys and things before you are +married. + +Of course I made a fool of myself yesterday. I believe that I usually +do. It is not any good my begging your pardon, for I don't suppose I +shall ever trouble you any more. Good-bye, and God bless you. + +Your affectionate Cousin, + +WILLIAM BELTON. + +It was a bad day for me when I made up my mind to go to Belton Castle +last summer.' + +Clara, when she had read the letter, sat down and cried, holding the +bundle of notes in her hand. What would she do with them? Should she +send them back? Oh no she would do nothing to displease him, or to make +him think that she was angry with him. Besides, she had none of that +dislike to taking his money which she had felt as to receiving money +from Captain Aylmer. He had said that she would be his sister, and she +would take from him any assistance that a sister might properly take +from a brother. + +She went down-stairs and met Captain Aylmer in the sitting-room. He +stepped up to her as soon as the door was closed, and she could at once +see that he had determined to forget the unpleasantness of the previous +evening. He stepped up to her, and gracefully taking her by one hand, +and passing the other behind her waist, saluted her in a becoming and +appropriate manner. She did not like it. She especially disliked it, +believing in her heart of hearts that she would never become the wife +of this man whom she had professed to love and whom she really had once +loved. But she could only bear it. And, to say the truth, there was not +much suffering of that kind to be borne. + +Their journey down to Yorkshire was very prosperous. He maintained his +good humour throughout the day, and never once said a word about Will +Belton. Nor did he say a word about Mrs Askerton. 'Do your best to +please my mother, Clara,' he said, as they were driving up from the +park lodges to the house. This was fair enough, and she therefore +promised him that she would do her best. + + +CHAPTER XXV + +MISS AMEDROZ HAS SOME HASHED CHICKEN + +Clara felt herself to be a coward as the Aylmer Park carriage, which +had been sent to meet her at the station, was drawn up at Sir Anthony +Aylmer's door. She had made up her mind that she would not bow down to +Lady Aylmer, and yet she was afraid of the woman. As she got out of the +carriage, she looked up, expecting to see her in the hall; but Lady +Aylmer was too accurately acquainted with the weights and measures of +society for any such movement as that. Had her son brought Lady Emily +to the house as his future bride, Lady Aylmer would probably have been +in the hall when the arrival took place; and had Clara possessed ten +thousand pounds of her own, she would probably have been met at the +drawing-room door; but as she had neither money nor title as she in +fact brought with her no advantages of any sort Lady Aylmer was found +stitching a bit of worsted, as though she had expected no one to come +to her. And Belinda Aylmer was stitching also by special order from her +mother. The reader will remember that Lady Aylmer was not without +strong hope that the engagement might even yet be broken off. Snubbing, +she thought, might probably be efficacious to this purpose, and so +Clara was to be snubbed. + +Clara, who had just promised to do her best to gain Lady Aylmer's +opinion, and who desired to be in some way true to her promise, though +she thoroughly believed that her labour would be in vain, put on her +pleasantest smile as she entered the room. Belinda, under the pressure +of the circumstances, forgetting somewhat of her mother's injunctions, +hurried to the door to welcome the stranger. Lady Aylmer kept her +chair, and even maintained her stitch, till Clara was half across the +room. Then she got up, and with great mastery over her voice, made her +little speech. + +'We are delighted to see you, Miss Amedroz,' she said, putting out her +hand of which Clara, however, felt no more than the finger. + +'Quite delighted,' said Belinda, yielding a fuller grasp. Then there +were affectionate greetings between Frederic and his mother and +Frederic and his sister, during which Clara stood by, ill at ease. +Captain Aylmer said not a word as to the footing on which his future +wife had come to his father's house. He did not ask his mother to +receive her as another daughter, or his sister to take his Clara to her +heart as a sister. There had been no word spoken of recognized +intimacy. Clara knew that the Aylmers were cold people. She had learned +as much as that from Captain Aylmer's words to herself, and from his +own manner. But she had not expected to be so frozen by them as was the +case with her now. In ten minutes she was sitting down with her bonnet +still on, and Lady Aylmer was again at her stitches. + +'Shall I show you your room?' said Belinda. + +'Wait a moment, my dear,' said Lady Aylmer. 'Frederic has gone to see +if Sir Anthony is in his study.' + +Sir Anthony was found in his study, and now made his appearance. + +'So this is Clara Amedroz,' he said. 'My dear, you are welcome to +Aylmer Park.' This was so much better, that the kindness expressed +though there was nothing special in it brought a tear into Clara's eye, +and almost made her love Sir Anthony. + +'By the by, Sir Anthony, have you seen Darvel? Darvel was wanting to +see you especially about Nuggins. Nuggins says that he'll take the +bullocks now.' This was said by Lady Aylmer, and was skilfully arranged +by her to put a stop to anything like enthusiasm on the part of Sir +Anthony. Clara Amedroz had been invited to Aylmer Park, and was to be +entertained there, but it would not be expedient that she should be +made to think that anybody was particularly glad to see her, or that +the family was at all proud of the proposed connexion. Within five +minutes after this she was up in her room, and had received from +Belinda tenders of assistance as to her lady's maid. Both the mother +and daughter had been anxious to learn whether Clara would bring her +own maid. Lady Aylmer, thinking that she would do so, had already +blamed her for extravagance. 'Of course Fred will have to pay for the +journey and all the rest of it,' she had said. But as soon as she had +perceived that Clara had come without a servant, she had perceived that +any young woman who travelled in that way must be unfit to be mated +with her son. Clara, whose intelligence in such matters was sharp +enough, assured Belinda that she wanted no assistance. 'I dare say you +think it very odd,' she said, 'but I really can dress myself.' And when +the maid did come to unpack the things, Clara would have sent her away +at once had she been able. But the maid, who was not a young woman, was +obdurate. 'Oh no, miss; my lady wouldn't be pleased. If you please, +miss, I'll do it.' And so the things were unpacked. + +Clara was told that they dined at half-past seven, and she remained +alone in her room till dinner- time, although it had not yet struck +five when she had gone upstairs. The maid had brought her up a cup of +tea, and she seated herself at her fire, turning over in her mind the +different members of the household in which she found herself. It would +never do. She told herself over and over again that it would never come +to pass that that woman should be her mother-in-law, or that that other +woman should be her sister. It was manifest to her that she was +distasteful to them; and she had not lost a moment in assuring herself +that they were distasteful to her. What purpose could it answer that +she should strive not to like them, for no such strife was possible but +to appear to like them? The whole place and everything about it was +antipathetic to her. Would it not be simply honest to Captain Aylmer +that she should tell him so at once, and go away? Then she remembered +that Frederic had not spoken to her a single word since she had been +under his father's roof. What sort of welcome would have been accorded +to her had she chosen to go down to Plaistow Hall? + +At half-past seven she made her way by herself downstairs. In this +there was some difficulty, as she remembered nothing of the rooms +below, and she could not at first find a servant. But a man at last did +come to her in the hall, and by him she was shown into the +drawing-room. Here she was alone for a few minutes. As she looked about +her, she thought that no room she had ever seen had less of the comfort +of habitation. It was not here that she had met Lady Aylmer before +dinner. There had, at any rate, been in that other room work things, +and the look of life which life gives to a room. But here there was no +life. The furniture was all in its place, and everything was cold and +grand and comfortless. They were making company of her at Aylmer Park! + +Clara was intelligent in such matters, and understood it all thoroughly. + +Lady Aylmer was the first person to come to her. 'I hope my maid has +been with you,' said she to which Clara muttered something intended for +thanks. 'You'll find Richards a very clever woman, and quite a proper +person.' + +'I don't at all doubt that.' + +'She has been here a good many years, and has perhaps little ways of +her own but she means to be obliging.' + +'I shall give her very little trouble, Lady Aylmer. I am used to dress +myself.' I am afraid this was not exactly true as to Clara's past +habits; but she could dress herself, and intended to do so in future, +and in this way justified the assertion to herself. + +'You had better let Richards come to you, my dear, while you are here,' +said Lady Aylmer, with a slight smile on her countenance which outraged +Clara more even than the words. 'We like to see young ladies nicely +dressed here.' To be told that she was to be nicely dressed because she +was at Aylmer Park! Her whole heart was already up in rebellion. Do her +best to please Lady Aylmer! It would be utterly impossible to her to +make any attempt whatever in that direction. There was something in her +ladyship's eye a certain mixture of cunning, and power, and hardness in +the slight smile that would gather round her mouth, by which Clara was +revolted. She already understood much of Lady Aylmer, but in one thing +she was mistaken. She thought that she saw simply the natural woman; +but she did, in truth, see the woman specially armed with an intention +of being disagreeable, made up to give offence, and prepared to create +dislike and enmity. At the present moment nothing further was said, as +Captain Aylmer entered the room, and his mother immediately began to +talk to him in whispers. + +The first two days of Clara's sojourn at Aylmer Park passed by without +the occurrence of anything that was remarkable. That which most +surprised and annoyed her, as regarded her own position, was the +coldness of all the people around her, as connected with the actual +fact of her engagement. Sir Anthony was very courteous to her, but had +never as yet once alluded to the fact that she was to become one of his +family as his daughter-in-law. Lady Aylmer called her Miss Amedroz +using the name with a peculiar emphasis, as though determined to show +that Miss Amedroz was to be Miss Amedroz as far as any one at Aylmer +Park was concerned and treated her almost as though her presence in the +house was intrusive. Belinda was as cold as her mother in her mother's +presence; but when alone with Clara would thaw a little. She, in her +difficulty, studiously avoided calling the new-corner by any name at +all. As to Captain Aylmer, it was manifest to Clara that he was +suffering almost more than she suffered herself. His position was so +painful that she absolutely pitied him for the misery to which he was +subjected by his own mother. They still called each other Frederic and +Clara, and that was the only sign of special friendship which +manifested itself between them. And Clara, though she pitied him, could +not but learn to despise him. She had hitherto given him credit at any +rate for a will of his own. She had believed him to be a man able to +act in accordance with the dictates of his own conscience. But now she +perceived him to be so subject to his mother that he did not dare to +call his heart his own. What was to be the end of it all? And if there +could only be one end, would it not be well that that end should be +reached at once, so that she might escape from her purgatory? + +But on the afternoon of the third day there seemed to have come a +change over Lady Aylmer. At lunch she was especially civil civil to the +extent of picking out herself for Clara, with her own fork, the breast +of a hashed fowl from a dish that was before her. This she did with +considerable care I may say, with a show of care; and then, though she +did not absolutely call Clara by her Christian name, she did call her +'my dear'. Clara saw it all, and felt that the usual placidity of the +afternoon would be broken by some special event. At three o'clock, when +the carriage as usual came to the door, Belinda was out of the way, and +Clara was made to understand that she and Lady Aylmer were to be driven +out without any other companion. 'Belinda is a little busy, my dear. +So, if you don't mind, we'll go alone.' Clara of course assented, and +got into the carriage with a conviction that now she would hear her +fate. She was rather inclined to think that Lady Aylmer was about to +tell her that she had failed in obtaining the approbation of Aylmer +Park, and that she must be returned as goods of a description inferior +to the order given. If such were the case, the breast of the chicken +had no doubt been administered as consolation. Clara had endeavoured, +since she had been at Aylmer Park, to investigate her own feelings in +reference to Captain Aylmer; but had failed, and knew that she had +failed. She wished to think that she loved him, as she could not endure +the thought of having accepted a man whom she did not love. And she +told herself that he bad done nothing to forfeit her love. A woman who +really loves will hardly allow that her love should be forfeited by any +fault. True love breeds forgiveness for all faults. And, after all, of +what fault had Captain Aylmer been guilty? He had preached to her out +of his mother's mouth. That had been all! She had first accepted him, +and then rejected him, and then accepted him again; and now she would +fain be firm, if firmness were only possible to her. Nevertheless, if +she were told that she was to be returned as inferior, she would hold +up her head under such disgrace as best she might, and would not let +the tidings break her heart. + +'My dear,' said Lady Aylmer, as soon as the trotting horses and rolling +wheels made noise enough to prevent her words from reaching the +servants on the box. 'I want to say a few words to you and I think that +this will be a good opportunity.' + +'A very good opportunity,' said Clara. + +'Of course, my dear, you are aware that I have heard of something going +on between you and my son Frederic.' Now that Lady Aylmer had taught +herself to call Clara 'my dear', it seemed that she could hardly call +her so often enough. + +'Of course I know that Captain Aylmer has told you of our engagement. +But for that, I should not be here.' + +'I don't know how that might be,' said Lady Aylmer; 'but at any rate, +my dear, he has told me that since the day of my sister's death there +has been in point of fact, a sort of engagement.' + +'I don't think Captain Aylmer has spoken of it in that way.' + +'In what way? Of course he has not said a word that was not nice and +lover-like, and all that sort of thing. I believe he would have done +anything in the world that his aunt had told him; and as to his' + +'Lady Aylmer!' said Clara, feeling that her voice was almost trembling +with anger,' I am sure you cannot intend to be unkind to me?' + +'Certainly not.' + +'Or to insult me?' + +'Insult you, my dear! You should not use such strong words, my dear; +indeed you should not. Nothing of the kind is near my thoughts.' + +'If you disapprove of my marrying your son, tell me so at once, and I +shall know what to do.' + +'It depends, my dear it depends on circumstances, and that is just why +I want to speak to you.' + +'Then tell me the circumstances though indeed I think it would have +been better if they could have been told to me by Captain Aylmer +himself.' + +'There, my dear, you must allow me to judge. As a mother, of course I +am anxious for my son. Now Frederic is a poor man. Considering the kind +of society in which he has to live, and the position which he must +maintain as a Member of Parliament, he is a very poor man.' + +This was an argument which Clara certainly had not expected that any of +the Aylmer family would condescend to use. She had always regarded +Captain Aylmer as a rich man since he had inherited Mrs Winterfield's +property, knowing that previously to that he had been able to live in +London as rich men usually do live. 'Is he?' said she. 'It may seem odd +to you, Lady Aylmer, but I do not think that a word has ever passed +between me and your son as to the amount of his income.' + +'Not odd at all, my dear. Young ladies are always thoughtless about +those things, and when they are looking to be married think that money +will come out of the skies.' + +'If you mean that I have been looking to be married' + +'Well expecting. I suppose you have been expecting it.' Then she +paused; but as Clara said nothing, she went on. 'Of course, Frederic +has got my sister's moiety of the Perivale property about eight hundred +a year, or something of that sort, when all deductions are made. He +will have the moiety when I die, and if you and he can be satisfied to +wait for that event which may not perhaps be very long '. Then there +was another pause, indicative of the melancholy natural to such a +suggestion, during which Clara looked at Lady Aylmer, and made up her +mind that her ladyship would live for the next twenty-five years at +least. 'If you can wait for that,' she continued, it may be all very +well, and though you will be poor people, in Frederic's rank of life, +you will be able to live.' + +'That will be so far fortunate,' said Clara. + +'But you'll have to wait,' said Lady Aylmer, turning upon her companion +almost fiercely. 'That is, you certainly will have to do so if you are +to depend upon Frederic's income alone.' + +'I have nothing of my own as he knows; absolutely nothing.' + +'That does not seem to be quite so clear,' said Lady Aylmer, speaking +now very cautiously or rather with a purpose of great caution; 'I don't +think that that is quite so clear. Frederic has been telling me that +there seems to be some sort of a doubt about the settlement of the +Belton estate.' + +'There is no sort of doubt whatsoever no shadow of a doubt. He is quite +mistaken.' + +'Don't be in such a hurry, my dear. It is not likely that you yourself +should be a very good lawyer.' + +'Lady Aylmer, I must be in a hurry lest there should be any mistake +about this. There is no question here for lawyers. Frederic must have +been misled by a word or two which I said to him with quite another +purpose. Everybody concerned knows that the Belton estate goes to my +cousin Will. My poor father was quite aware of it.' + +'That is all very well; and pray remember, my dear, that you need not +attack me in this way. I am endeavouring, if possible, to arrange the +accomplishment of your own wishes. It seems that Mr Belton himself does +not claim the property.' + +'There is no question of claiming. Because he is a man more generous +than any other person in the world romantic ally generous he has +offered to give me the property which was my father's for his lifetime; +but I do not suppose that you would wish, or that Captain Aylmer would +wish, that I should accept such an offer as that.' There was a tone in +her voice as she said this, and a glance in her eye as she turned her +face full upon her companion, which almost prevailed against Lady +Aylmer's force of character. + +'I really don't know, my dear,' said Lady Aylmer. 'You are so violent.' + +'I certainly am eager about this. No consideration on earth would +induce me to take my cousin's property from him.' + +'It always seemed to me that that entail was a most unfair proceeding.' + +'What would it signify even if it were which it was not? Papa got +certain advantages on those conditions. But what can all that matter? +It belongs to Will Belton.' + +Then there was another pause, and Clara thought that that subject was +over between them. But Lady Aylmer had not as yet completed her +purpose. Shall I tell you, my dear, what I think you ought to do?' + +'Certainly, Lady Aylmer; if you wish it.' + +'I can at any rate tell you what it would become any young lady to do +under such circumstances. I suppose you will give me credit for knowing +as much as that. Any young lady placed as you are would be recommended +by her friends if she had friends able and fit to give her advice to +put the whole matter into the hands of her natural friends and her +lawyer together. Hear me out, my dear, if you please. At least you can +do that for me, as I am taking a great deal of trouble on your behalf. +You should let Frederic see Mr Green. I understand that Mr Green was +your father's lawyer. And then Mr Green can see Mr Belton. And so the +matter can be arranged. It seems to me, from what I hear, that in this +way, and in this way only; something can be done as to the proposed +marriage. In no other way can anything be done.' + +Then Lady Aylmer had finished her argument, and throwing herself back +into the carriage, seemed to intimate that she desired no reply. She +had believed and did believe that her guest was so intent upon marrying +her son, that no struggle would be regarded as too great for the +achievement of that object. And such belief was natural on her part. +Mothers always so think of girls engaged to their sons, and so think +especially when the girls are penniless and the sons are well-to-do in +the world. But such belief, though it is natural, is sometimes wrong +and it was altogether wrong in this instance. 'Then,' said Clara, +speaking very plainly,' nothing can be done.' + +'Very well, my dear.' + +After that there was not a word said between them till the carriage was +once more within the park. Then Lady Aylmer spoke again. 'I presume you +see, my dear, that under these circumstances any thought of marriage +between you and my son must be quite out of the question at any rate +for a great many years.' + +'I will speak to Captain Aylmer about it, Lady Aylmer.' + +'Very well, my dear. So do. Of course he is his own master. But he is +my son as well, and I cannot see him sacrificed without an effort to +save him.' + +When Clara came down to dinner on that day she was again Miss Amedroz, +and she could perceive from Belinda's manner quite as plainly as from +that of her ladyship that she was to have no more tit-bits of hashed +chicken specially picked out for her by Lady Aylmer's own fork., That +evening and the two next days passed, just as had passed the two first +days, and everything was dull, cold, and uncomfortable. Twice she had +walked out with Frederic, and on each occasion had thought that he +would refer to what his mother had said; but he did not venture to +touch upon the subject. Clara more than once thought that she would do +so herself; but when the moment came she found that it was impossible. +She could not bring herself to say anything that should have had the +appearance of a desire on her part to hurry on a marriage. She could +not say to him, 'If you are too poor to be married or even if you mean +to put forward that pretence say so at once.' He still called her +Clara, and still asked her to walk with him, and still talked, when +they were alone together, in a distant cold way, of the events of their +future combined life. Would they live at Perivale? Would it be +necessary to refurnish the house? Should he keep any of the land on his +own hands? These are all interesting subjects of discussion between an +engaged man and the girl to whom he is engaged; but the man, if he wish +to make them thoroughly pleasant to the lady, should throw something of +the urgency of a determined and immediate purpose into the discussion. +Something should be said as to the actual destination of the rooms. A +day should be fixed for choosing the furnishing. Or the gentleman +should declare that he will at once buy the cows for the farm. But with +Frederic Aylmer all discussions seemed to point to some cold, distant +future, to which Clara might look forward as she did to the joys of +heaven. Will Belton would have bought the ring long since, and bespoken +the priest, and arranged every detail of the honeymoon, tour and very +probably would have stood looking into a cradle shop with longing eyes. + +At last there came an absolute necessity for some plain speaking. +Captain Aylmer declared his intention of returning to London that he +might resume his parliamentary duties. He had purposed to remain till +after Easter, but it was found to be impossible. 'I find I must go up +tomorrow,' he said at breakfast. 'They are going to make a stand about +the poor-rates, and I must be in the House in the evening.' Clara felt +herself to be very cold and uncomfortable. As things were at present +arranged, she was to be left at Aylmer Park without a friend. And how +long was she to remain there? No definite ending had been proposed for +her visit. Something must be said and something settled before Captain +Aylmer went away. + +'You will come down for Easter, of course,' said his mother. + +'Yes; I shall come down for Easter, I think or at any rate at +Whitsuntide.' + +'You must come at Easter, Frederic,' said his mother. + +'I don't doubt but I shall,' said he. + +'Miss Amedroz should lay her commands upon him,' said Sir Anthony +gallantly. + +'Nonsense, said Lady Aylmer. + +'I have commands to lay upon him all the same,' said Clara; 'and if he +will give me half an hour this morning he shall have them.' To this +Captain Aylmer, of course, assented as how could he escape from such +assent and a regular appointment was made, Captain Aylmer and Miss +Amedroz were to be closeted together in the little back drawing-room +immediately after breakfast. Clara would willingly have avoided any +such formality could she have done so compatibly with the exigencies of +the occasion. She had been obliged to assert herself when Lady Aylmer +had rebuked Sir Anthony, and then Lady Aylmer had determined that an +air of business should be assumed. Clara, as she was marched off into +the back drawing-room followed by her lover with more sheep-like gait +even than her own, felt strongly the absurdity and the wretchedness of +her position. But she was determined to go through with her purpose. + +'I am very sorry that I have to leave you so soon,' said Captain +Aylmer, as soon as the door was shut and they were alone together. + +'Perhaps it may be better as it is, Frederic; as in this way we shall +all come to understand each other, and something will be settled.' + +'Well, yes; perhaps that will be best.' + +'Your mother has told me that she disapproves of our marriage.' + +'No; not that, I think, I don't think she can have quite said that.' + +'She says that you cannot marry while she is alive that is, that you +cannot marry me because your income would not be sufficient.' + +'I certainly was speaking to her about my income.' + +'Of course I have got nothing.' Here she paused. 'Not a penny-piece in +the world that I can call my own.' + +'Oh yes, you have.' + +'Nothing. Nothing!' + +'You have your aunt's legacy?' + +'No; I have not. She left me no legacy. But as that is between you and +me, if we think of marrying each other, that would make no difference.' + +'None at all, of course.' + +'But in truth I have got nothing. Your mother said something to me +about the Belton estate; as though there was some idea that possibly it +might come to me.' + +'Your cousin himself seemed to think so.' + +'Frederic, do not let us deceive ourselves. There can be nothing of the +kind. I could not accept any portion of the property from my cousin +even though our marriage were to depend upon it.' + +'Of course it does not.' + +'But if your means are not sufficient for your wants I am quite ready +to accept that reason as being sufficient for breaking our engagement.' + +'There need be nothing of the kind.' + +'As for waiting for the death of another person for your mother's +death, I should think it very wrong. Of course, if our engagement +stands there need be no hurry; but some time should be fixed.' Clara as +she said this felt that her face and forehead were suffused with a +blush; but she was determined that it should be said, and the words +were pronounced. + +'I quite think so too,' said he. + +'I am glad that we agree. Of course, I will leave it to you to fix the +time.' + +'You do not mean at this very moment?' said Captain Aylmer, almost +aghast. + +'No; I did not mean that.' + +'I'll tell you what. I'll make a point of coming down at Easter. I +wasn't sure about it before, but now I will be. And then it shall be +settled.' + +Such was the interview; and on the next morning Captain Aylmer started +for London. Clara felt, aware that she had not done or said all that +should have been done and said; but, nevertheless, a step in the right +direction had been taken. + + +CHAPTER XXVI + +THE AYLMER PARK HASHED CHICKEN COMES TO AN END + +Easter in this year fell about the middle of April, and it still +wanted three weeks of that time when Captain Aylmer started for London. +Clara was quite alive to the fact that the next three weeks would not +be a happy time for her. She looked forward, indeed, to so much +wretchedness during this period, that the days as they came were not +quite so bad as she had expected them to be. At first Lady Aylmer said +little or nothing to her. It seemed to be agreed between them that +there was to be war, but that there was no necessity for any of the +actual operations of war during the absence of Captain Aylmer. Clara +had become Miss Amedroz again; and though an offer to be driven out in +the carriage was made to her every day, she was in general able to +escape the infliction so that at last it came to be understood that +Miss Amedroz did not like carriage exercise. She has never been used to +it,' said Lady Aylmer to her daughter. 'I suppose not,' said Belinda; +'but if she wasn't so very cross she'd enjoy it just for that reason.' +Clara sometimes walked about the grounds with Belinda, but on such +occasions there was hardly anything that could be called conversation +between them, and Frederic Aylmer's name was never mentioned. + +Captain Aylmer had not been gone many days before she received a letter +from her cousin, in which he spoke with absolute certainty of his +intention of giving up the estate. He had, he said, consulted Mr Green, +and the thing was to be done. 'But it will be better, I think,' he went +on to say, 'that I should manage it for you till after your marriage. I +simply mean what I say. You are not to suppose that I shall interfere +in any way afterwards. Of course there will be a settlement, as to +which I hope you will allow me to see Mr Green on your behalf.' In the +first draught of his letter he had inserted a sentence in which he +expressed a wish that the property should be so settled that it might +at last all come to some one bearing the name of Belton. But as he read +this over, the condition for coming from him it would be a condition +seemed to him to be ungenerous, and he expunged it. 'What does it +matter who has it,' he said to himself bitterly, 'or what he is called? +I will never set eyes upon his children, nor yet upon the place when he +has become the master of it.' Clara wrote both to her cousin and to the +lawyer, repeating her assurance with great violence, as Lady Aylmer +would have said that she would have nothing to with the Belton estate. +She told Mr Green that it would be useless for him to draw up any +deeds. 'It can't be made mine unless I choose to have it,' she said, +'and I don't choose to have it.' Then there came upon her a terrible +fear. What if she should marry Captain Aylmer after all; and what if +he, when he should be her husband, should take the property on her +behalf! Something must be done before her marriage to prevent the +possibility of such results something as to the efficacy of which for +such prevention she could feel altogether certain. + +But could she marry Captain Aylmer at all in her present mood? During +these three weeks she was unconsciously teaching herself to hope that +she might be relieved from her engagement. She did not love him. She +was becoming aware that she did not love him. She was beginning to +doubt whether, in truth, she had ever loved him. But yet she felt that +she could not, escape from her engagement if he should show himself to. +be really actuated by any fixed purpose to carry it out; nor could she +bring herself to be so weak before Lady Aylmer as to seem to yield. The +necessity of not striking her colours was forced upon her by the +warfare to which she was subjected. She was unhappy, feeling that her +present position in life was bad, and unworthy of her. She could have +brought herself almost to run away from Aylmer Park, as a boy runs away +from school, were it not that she had no place to which to run. She +could not very well make her appearance at Plaistow Hall, and say that +she had come there for shelter and succour. She could, indeed, go to +Mrs Askerton's cottage for awhile; and the more she thought of the +state of her affairs, the more did she feel sure that that would, +before long, be her destiny. It must be her destiny unless Captain +Aylmer should return at Easter with purposes so firmly fixed that even +his mother should not be able to prevail against them. + +And now, in these days, circumstances gave her a new friend or perhaps, +rather, a new acquaintance, where she certainly had looked neither for +the one or for the other. Lady Aylmer and Belinda and the carriage and +the horses used, as I have said, to go off without her. This would take +place soon after luncheon. Most of us know how the events of the day +drag themselves on tediously in such a country house as Aylmer Park -a +country house in which people neither read, nor flirt, nor gamble, nor +smoke, nor have resort to the excitement of any special amusement. +Lunch was on the table at half-past one, and the carriage was at the +door at three. Eating and drinking and the putting on of bonnets +occupied the hour and a half. From breakfast to lunch Lady Aylmer, with +her old 'front', would occupy herself with her household accounts. For +some days after Clara's arrival she put on her new 'front' before +lunch; but of late since the long conversation in the carriage the new +'front' did not appear till she came down for the carriage. According +to the theory of her life, she was never to be seen by any but her own +family in her old 'front'. At breakfast she would appear with head so +mysteriously enveloped with such a bewilderment of morning caps that +old 'front' or new 'front' was all the same. When Sir Anthony perceived +this change when he saw that Clara was treated as though she belonged +to Aylmer Park then he told himself that his son's marriage with Miss +Amedroz was to be; and, as Miss Amedroz seemed to him to be a very +pleasant young woman, he would creep out of his own quarters when the +carriage was gone and have a little chat with her being careful to +creep away again before her ladyship's return. This was Clara's new +friend. + +'Have you heard from Fred since he has been gone?' the old man asked +one day, when he had come upon Clara still seated in the parlour in +which they had lunched. He had been out, at the front of the house, +scolding the under-gardener; but the man had taken away his barrow and +left him, and Sir Anthony had found himself without employment. + +'Only a line to say that he is to be here on the sixteenth.' + +'I don't think people write so many love-letters as they did when I was +young,' said Sir Anthony. + +'To judge from the novels, I should think not. The old novels used to +be full of love-letters.' + +'Fred was never good at writing, I think.' + +'Members of Parliament have too much to do, I suppose,' said Clara. + +'But he always writes when there is any business. He's a capital man of +business. I wish I could say as much for his brother or for myself.' + +'Lady Aylmer seems to like work of that sort.' + +'So she does. She's fond of it I am not. I sometimes think that Fred +takes after her. Where was it you first knew him?' + +'At Perivale. We used, both of us, to be staying with Mrs Winterfield.' + +'Yes, yes; of course. The most natural thing in life. Well, my dear, I +can assure you that I am quite satisfied.' + +'Thank you, Sir Anthony. I'm glad to hear you say even as much as that.' + +'Of course money is very desirable for a man situated like Fred; but +he'll have enough, and if he is pleased, I am. Personally, as regards +yourself, I am more than pleased. I am indeed.' + +'It's very good of you to say so.' + +Sir Anthony looked at Clara, and his heart was softened towards her as +he saw that there was a tear in her eye. A man's heart must be very +hard when it does not become softened by the trouble of a woman with +whom he finds himself alone. 'I don't know how you and Lady Aylmer get +on together,' he said; 'but it will not be my fault if we are not +friends.' + +'I am afraid that Lady Aylmer does not like me,' said Clara. + +'Indeed. I was afraid there was something of that. But you must +remember she is hard to please. You'll find she'll come round in time.' + +'She thinks that Captain Aylmer should not marry a woman without money.' + +'That's all very well; but I don't see why Fred shouldn't please +himself, He's old enough to know what he wants.' + +'Is he, Sir Anthony? That's just the question. I'm not quite sure that +he does know what he wants.' + +'Fred doesn't know, do you mean?' + +'I don't quite think he does, sir. And the worst of it is, I am in +doubt as well as he.' + +'In doubt about marrying him?' + +'In doubt whether it will be good for him or for any of us. I don't +like to come into a family that does not desire to have me.' + +'You shouldn't think so much of Lady Aylmer as all that, my dear.' + +'But I do think a great deal of her.' + +'I shall be very glad to have you as a daughter-in-law. And as for Lady +Aylmer between you and me, my dear, you shouldn't take every word she +says so much to heart. She's the best woman in the world, and I'm sure +I'm bound to say so. But she has her temper, you know; and I don't +think you ought to give way to her altogether. There's the carriage. It +won't do you any good if we're found together talking over it all; will +it?' Then the baronet hobbled off, and Lady Aylmer, when she entered +the room, found Clara sitting alone. + +Whether it was that the wife was clever enough to extract from her +husband something of the conversation that had passed between him and +Clara, or whether she had some other source of information or whether +her conduct might proceed from other grounds, we need not inquire; but +from that afternoon Lady Aylmer's manner and words to Clara became much +less courteous than they had been before. She would always speak as +though some great iniquity was being committed, and went about the +house with a portentous frown, as though some terrible measure must +soon be taken with the object of putting an end to the present +extremely improper state of things. All this was so manifest to Clara, +that she said to Sir Anthony one day that she could no longer bear the +look of Lady Aylmer's displeasure and that she would be forced to leave +Aylmer Park before Frederic's return, unless the evil were mitigated. +She had by this time told Sir Anthony that she much doubted whether the +marriage would be possible, and that she really believed that it would +be best for all parties that the idea should be abandoned. Sir Anthony, +when he heard this, could only shake his head and hobble away. The +trouble was too deep for him to cure. + +But Clara still held on; and now there wanted but two days to Captain +Aylmer's return, when, all suddenly, there arose a terrible storm at +Aylmer Park, and then came a direct and positive quarrel between Lady +Aylmer and Clara a quarrel direct and positive and, on the part of both +ladies, very violent. + +Nothing had hitherto been said at Aylmer Park about Mrs Askerton +nothing, that is, since Clara's arrival. And Clara had been thankful +for this silence. The letter which Captain Aylmer had written to her +about Mrs Askerton will perhaps be remembered, and Clara's answer to +that letter. The Aylmer Park opinion as to this poor woman, and as to +Clara's future conduct towards the poor woman, had been expressed very +strongly; and Clara had as strongly resolved that she would not be +guided by Aylmer Park opinions in that matter. She had anticipated much +that was disagreeable on this subject, and had therefore congratulated +herself not a little on the absence of all allusion to it. But Lady +Aylmer had, in truth, kept Mrs Askerton in reserve, as a battery to be +used against Miss Amedroz if all other modes of attack should fail as a +weapon which would be powerful when other weapons had been powerless. +For a while she had thought it possible that Clara might be the owner +of the Belton estate, and then it had been worth the careful mother's +while to be prepared to accept a daughter-in-law so dowered. We have +seen how the question of such ownership had enabled her to put forward +the plea of poverty which she had used on her son's behalf. But since +that, Frederic had declared his intention of marrying the young woman +in spite of his poverty, and Clara seemed to be equally determined. 'He +has been fool enough to speak the word, and she is determined to keep +him to it,' said Lady Aylmer to her daughter. Therefore the Askerton +battery was brought to bear not altogether unsuccessfully. + +The three ladies were sitting together in the drawing-room, and had +been as mute as fishes for half an hour. In these sittings they were +generally very silent, speaking only in short little sentences. 'Will +you drive with us today, Miss Amedroz?' 'Not today, I think, Lady +Aylmer.' 'As you are reading, perhaps you won't mind our leaving you?' +'Pray do not put yourself to inconvenience for me, Miss Aylmer,' Such +and such like was their conversation; but on a sudden, after a full +half- hour's positive silence, Lady Aylmer asked a question altogether +of another kind. 'I think, Miss Amedroz, my son wrote to you about a +certain Mrs Askerton?' + +Clara put down her work and sat for a moment almost astonished. It was +not only that Lady Aylmer had asked so very disagreeable a question, +but that she had asked it with so peculiar a voice a voice as it were a +command, in a manner that was evidently intended to be taken as +serious, and with a look of authority in her eye, as though she were +resolved that this battery of hers should knock the enemy absolutely in +the dust! Belinda gave a little spring in her chair, looked intently at +her work, and went on stitching faster than before. 'Yes, he did,' said +Clara, finding that an answer was imperatively demanded from her. + +'It was quite necessary that he should write. I believe it to be an +undoubted fact that Mrs Askerton is is is not at all what she ought to +be.' + +'Which of us is what we ought to be?' said Clara. + +'Miss Amedroz, on this subject I am not at all inclined to joke. Is it +not true that Mrs Askerton' + +'You must excuse me, Lady Aylmer, but what I know of Mrs Askerton, I +know altogether in confidence; so that I cannot speak to you of her +past life.' + +'But, Miss Amedroz, pray excuse me if I say that I must speak of it. +When I remember the position in which you do us the honour of being our +visitor here, how can I help speaking of it?' Belinda was stitching +very hard, and would not even raise her eyes. Clara, who still held her +needle in her hand, resumed her work, and for a moment or two made no +further answer. But Lady Aylmer had by no means completed her task. +'Miss Amedroz,' she said, 'you must allow me to judge for myself in +this matter. The subject is one on which I feel myself obliged to speak +to you.' + +'But I have got nothing to say about it.' + +'You have, I believe, admitted the truth of the allegations made by us +as to this woman.' Clara was becoming very angry. A red spot showed +itself on each cheek, and a frown settled upon her brow. She did not as +yet know what she would say or how she would conduct herself. She was +striving to consider how best she might assert her own independence. +But she was fully determined that in this matter she would not bend an +inch to Lady Aylmer. 'I believe we may take that as admitted?', said +her ladyship. + +'I am not aware that I have admitted anything to you, Lady Aylmer, or +said anything that can justify you in questioning me on the subject.' + +'Justify me in questioning a young woman who tells me that she is to be +my future daughter-in-law!' + +'I have not told you so. I have never told you anything of the kind.' + +'Then on what footing, Miss Amedroz, do you do us the honour of being +with us here at Aylmer Park?' + +'On a very foolish footing.' + +'On a foolish footing! What does that mean?' + +'It means that I have been foolish in coming to a house in which I am +subjected to such questioning.' + +'Belinda, did you ever hear anything like this? Miss Amedroz, I must +persevere, however much you may dislike it. The story of this woman's +life whether she be Mrs Askerton or not, I don't know' + +'She is Mrs Askerton,' said Clara. + +'As to that I do not profess to know, and I dare say that you are no +wiser than myself. But what she has been we do know.' Here Lady Aylmer +raised her voice and continued to speak with all the eloquence which +assumed indignation could give her. 'What she has been we do know, and +I ask you, as a duty which I own to my son, whether you have put an end +to your acquaintance with so very disreputable a person a person whom +even to have known is a disgrace?' + +'I know her, and' + +'Stop one minute, if you please. My questions are these Have you put an +end to that acquaintance? Are you ready to give a promise that it shall +never be resumed? + +'I have not put an end to that acquaintance or rather that affectionate +friendship as I should call it, and I am ready to promise that it shall +be maintained with all my heart.' + +'Belinda, do you hear her?' + +'Yes, mamma.' And Belinda slowly shook her head, which was now bowed +lower than ever over her lap. + +'And that is your resolution?' + +'Yes, Lady Aylmer; that is my resolution.' + +'And you think that becoming to you, as a young woman?' + +'Just so; I think that becoming to me as a young woman.' + +'Then let me tell you, Miss Amedroz, that I differ from you altogether +altogether.' Lady Aylmer, as she repeated the last word, raised her +folded hands as though she were calling upon heaven to witness how +thoroughly she differed from the young woman! + +'I don't see how I am to help that, Lady Aylmer. I dare say we may +differ on many subjects.' + +'I dare say we do. I dare say we do. And I need not point out to you +how very little that would be a matter of regret to me but for the hold +you have upon my unfortunate son.' + +'Hold upon him, Lady Aylmer! How dare you insult me by such language?' +Hereupon Belinda again jumped in her chair; but Lady Aylmer looked as +though she enjoyed the storm. + +'You undoubtedly have a hold upon him, Miss Amedroz, and I think that +it is a great misfortune. Of course, when he hears what your conduct is +with reference to this person, he will release himself from his +entanglement.' + +'He can release himself from his entanglement whenever he chooses,' +said Clara, rising from her chair. 'Indeed, he is released. I shall let +Captain Aylmer know that our engagement must be at an end, unless he +will promise that I shall never in future be subjected to the +unwarrantable insolence of his mother.' Then she walked off to the +door, not regarding, and indeed not hearing, the parting shot that was +fired at her. + +And now what was to be done! Clara went up to her own room, making +herself strong and even comfortable, with an inward assurance that +nothing should ever induce her even to sit down to table again with +Lady Aylmer. She would not willingly enter the same room with Lady +Aylmer, or have any speech with her. But what should she at once do? +She could not very well leave Aylmer Park without settling whither she +would go; nor could she in any way manage to leave the house on that +afternoon. She almost resolved that she would go to Mrs Askerton. +Everything was of course over between her and Captain Aylmer, and +therefore there was no longer any hindrance to her doing so on that +score. But what would be her Cousin Will's wish? He, now, was the only +friend to whom she could trust for good counsel. What would be his +advice? Should she write and ask him? No she could not do that. She +could not bring herself to write to him, telling him that the Aylmer +'entanglement' was at an end. Were she to do so, he, with his +temperament, would take such letter as meaning much more than it was +intended to mean. But she would write a letter to Captain Aylmer. This +she thought that she would do at once, and she began it. + +She got as far as 'My dear Captain Aylmer,' and then she found that the +letter was one which could not be written very easily. And she +remembered, as the greatness of the difficulty of writing the letter +became plain to her, that it could not now be sent so as to reach +Captain Aylmer before he would leave London. If written at all, it must +be addressed to him at Aylmer Park, and the task might be done tomorrow +as well as today. So that task was given up for the present. + +But she did write a letter to Mrs Askerton a letter which she would +send or not on the morrow, according to the state of her mind as it +might then be. In this she declared her purpose of leaving Aylmer Park +on the day after Captain Aylmer's arrival, and asked to be taken in at +the cottage. An answer was to be sent to her, addressed to the Great +Northern Railway Hotel. + +Richards, the maid, came up to her before dinner, with offers of +assistance for dressing offers made in a tone which left no doubt on +Clara's mind that Richards knew all about the quarrel. But Clara +declined to be dressed, and sent down a message saying that she would +remain in her room, and begging to be supplied with tea. She would not +even condescend to say that she was troubled with a headache. Then +Belinda came up to her, just before dinner was announced, and with a +fluttered gravity advised Miss Amedroz to come down-stairs. 'Mamma +thinks it will be much better that you should show yourself, let the +final result be what it may.' + +'But I have not the slightest desire to show myself.' + +'There are the servants, you know.' + +'But, Miss Aylmer, I don't care a straw for the servants really not a +straw.' + +'And papa will feel it so.' + +'I shall be sorry if Sir Anthony is annoyed but I cannot help it. It +has not been my doing.' + +'And mamma says that my brother would of course wish it.' + +'After what your mother has done, I don't see what his wishes would +have to do with it even if she knew them which I don't think she does.' + +'But if you will think of it, I'm sure you'll find it is the proper +thing to do. There is nothing to be avoided so much as an open quarrel, +that all the servants can see.' + +'I must say, Miss Aylmer, that I disregard the servants. After what +passed downstairs, of course I have had to consider what I should do. +Will you tell your mother that I will stay here, if she will permit it?' + +'Of course. She will be delighted.' + +'I will remain, if she will permit it, till the morning after Captain +Aylmer's arrival. Then I shall go.' + +'Where to, Miss Amedroz?' + +'I have already written to a friend, asking her to receive me.' + +Miss Aylmer paused a moment before she asked her next question but she +did ask it, showing by her tone and manner that she had been driven to +summon up all her courage to enable her to do so. 'To what friend, Miss +Amedroz? Mamma will be glad to know.' + +'That is a question which Lady Aylmer can have no right to ask,' said +Clara. + +'Oh very well. Of course, if you don't like to tell, there's no more to +be said.' + +'I do not like to tell, Miss Aylmer.' + +Clara had her tea in her room that evening, and lived there the whole +of the next day. The family downstairs was not comfortable. Sir Anthony +could not be made to understand why his guest kept her room which was +not odd, as Lady Aylmer was very sparing in the information she gave +him; and Belinda found it to be impossible to sit at table, or to say a +few words to her father and mother, without showing at every moment her +consciousness that a crisis had occurred. By the next day's post the +letter to Mrs Askerton was sent, and at the appointed time Captain +Aylmer arrived. About an hour after he entered the house, Belinda went +upstairs with a message from him would Miss Amedroz see him? Miss +Amedroz would see him, but made it a condition of doing so that she +should not be required to meet Lady Aylmer. She need not be afraid,' +said Lady Aylmer. 'Unless she sends me a full apology, with a promise +that she will have no further intercourse whatever with that woman, I +will never willingly see her again.' A meeting was therefore arranged +between Captain Aylmer and Miss Amedroz in a sitting-room upstairs. + +'What is all this, Clara?' said Captain Aylmer, at once. + +'Simply this that your mother has insulted me most wantonly.' + +'She says that it is you who have been uncourteous to her.' + +'Be it so you can of course believe whichever you please, and it is +desirable, no doubt, that you should prefer to believe your mother.' + +'But I do not wish there to be any quarrel.' + +'But there is a quarrel, Captain Aylmer, and I must leave your father's +house. I cannot stay here after what has taken place. Your mother told +me I cannot tell you what she told me, but she made against me just +those accusations which she knew it would be the hardest for me to +bear.' + +'I'm sure you have mistaken her.' + +'No; I have not mistaken her.' + +'And where do you propose to go?' + +'To Mrs Askerton.' + +'Oh, Clara!' + +'I have written to Mrs Askerton to ask her to receive me for awhile. +Indeed, I may almost say that I had no other choice.' + +'If you go there, Clara, there will be an end to everything.' + +'And there must be an end of what you call everything, Captain Aylmer,' +said she, smiling. 'It cannot be for your good to bring into your +family a wife of whom your mother would think so badly as she thinks of +me.' + +There was a great deal said, and Captain Aylmer walked very often up +and down the room, endeavouring to make some arrangement which might +seem in some sort to appease his mother. Would Clara only allow a +telegram to be sent to Mrs Askerton, to explain that she had changed +her mind? But Clara would allow no such telegram to be sent, and on +that evening she packed up all her things. Captain Aylmer saw her again +and again, sending Belinda backwards and forwards, and making different +appointments up to midnight; but it was all to no purpose, and on the +next morning she took her departure alone in the Aylmer Park carriage +for the railway station. Captain Aylmer had proposed to go with her; +but she had so stoutly declined his company that he was obliged to +abandon his intention. She saw neither of the ladies on that morning, +but Sir Anthony came out to say a word of farewell to her in the hall. +'I am very sorry for all this,' said he. 'It is a pity,' said Clara, +'but it cannot be helped. Good-bye, Sir Anthony.' 'I hope we may meet +again under pleasanter circumstances,' said the baronet. To this Clara +made no reply, and was then handed into the carriage by Captain Aylmer. + +'I am so bewildered,' said he, 'that I cannot now say anything +definite, but I shall write to you, and probably follow you.' + +'Do not follow me, pray, Captain Aylmer,' said she, Then she was driven +to the station; and as she passed through the lodges of the park +entrance she took what she intended to be a final farewell of Aylmer +Park. + + +CHAPTER XXVII + +ONCE MORE BACK TO BELTON + +When the carriage was driven away, Sir Anthony and Captain Aylmer were +left standing alone at the ball door of the house. The servants had +slunk off, and the father and son, looking at each other, felt that +they also must slink away, or else have some words together on the +subject of their guest's departure. The younger gentleman would have +preferred that there should be no words, but Sir Anthony was curious to +know something of what had passed in the house during the last few +days. 'I'm afraid things are not going quite comfortable,' he said. + +'It seems to me, sir,' said his son, 'that things very seldom do go +quite comfortable.' + +'But, Fred what is it all about? Your mother says that Miss Amedroz is +behaving very badly.' + +'And Miss Amedroz says that my mother is behaving very badly.' + +'Of course that's only natural. And what do you say?' + +'I say nothing, sir. The less said the soonest mended.' + +'That's all very well; but it seems to me that you, in your position, +must say something. The long and the short of it is this. Is she to be +your wife?' + +'Upon my word, sir, I don't know.' + +They were still standing out under the portico, and as Sir Anthony did +not for a minute or two ask any further questions, Captain Aylmer +turned as though he were going into the house. But his father had still +a word or two to say. Stop a moment, Fred. I don't often trouble you +with advice.' + +'I'm sure I'm always glad to hear it when you offer any.' + +'I know very well that in most things your opinion is better than mine. +You've had advantages which I never had. But I've had more experience +than you, my dear boy. It stands to reason that in some things I must +have had more experience than you.' There was a tone of melancholy in +the father's voice as he said this which quite touched his son, and +which brought the two closer together out in the porch. 'Take my word +for it,' continued Sir Anthony, 'that you are much better off as you +are than you could be with a wife.' + +'Do you mean to say that no man should marry?' + +'No I don't mean to say that. An eldest son ought to marry, so that the +property may have an heir. And poor men should marry, I suppose, as +they want wives to do for them. And sometimes, no doubt, a man must +marry when he has got to be very fond of a girl, and has compromised +himself, and all that kind of thing. I would never advise any man to +sully his honour.' As Sir Anthony said this he raised himself a little +with his two sticks and spoke out in a bolder voice. The voice however, +sank again as he descended from the realms of honour to those of +prudence. 'But none of these cases are yours, Fred. To be sure you'll +have the Perivale property; but that is not a family estate, and you'll +be much better off by turning it into money. And in the way of comfort, +you can be a great deal more comfortable without a wife than you can +with one. What do you want a wife for? And then, as to Miss Amedroz for +myself I must say that I like her uncommonly. She has been very +pleasant in her ways with me. But somehow or another, I don't think you +are so much in love with her but what you can do without her.' Hereupon +he paused and looked his son full in the face. Fred had also been +thinking of the matter in his own way, and asking himself the same +question whether he was in truth so much in love with Clara that he +could not live without her. 'Of course I don't know,' continued Sir +Anthony, ' what has taken place just now between you and her, or what +between her and your mother; but I suppose the whole thing might fall +through without any further trouble to you or without anything +unhandsome on your part?' But Captain Aylmer still said nothing. The +whole thing might, no doubt, fall through, but he wished to be neither +unjust nor ungenerous and he specially wished to avoid anything +unhandsome. After a further pause of a few minutes, Sir Anthony went on +again, pouring forth the words of experience. 'Of course marriage is +all very well. I married rather early in life, and have always found +your mother to be a most excellent woman. A better woman doesn't +breathe. I'm as sure of that as I am of anything. But God bless me of +course you can see. I can't call anything my own. I'm tied down here +and I can't move. I've never got a shilling to spend, while all these +lazy hounds about the place are eating me up. There isn't a clerk with +a hundred a year in London that isn't better off than I am as regards +ready money. And what comfort have I in a big house, and no end of +gardens, and a place like this? What pleasures do I get out of it? That +comes of marrying and keeping up one's name in the county respectably! +What do I care for the county? D the county! I often wish that I'd +been a younger son as you are.' + +Captain Aylmer had no answer to make to all this. It was, no doubt, the +fact that age and good living had made Sir Anthony altogether incapable +of enjoying the kind of life which he desiderated, and that he would +probably have eaten and drunk himself into his grave long since had +that kind of life been within his reach. This, however, the son could +not explain to the father. But in fitting, as he endeavoured to do, his +father's words to his own case, Captain Aylmer did perceive that a +bachelor's life might perhaps be the most suitable to his own peculiar +case. Only he would do nothing unhandsome. As to that he was quite +resolved. Of course Clara must show herself to be in some degree +amenable to reason and to the ordinary rules of the world; but he was +aware that his mother was hot. tempered, and he generously made up his +mind that he would give Miss Amedroz even yet another chance. + +At the hotel in London Clara found a short note from Mrs Askerton, in +which she was warmly assured that everything should be done to make her +comfortable at the cottage as long as she should wish to stay there. +But the very warmth of affection thus expressed made her almost shrink +from what she was about to do. Mrs Askerton was no doubt anxious for +her coming; but would her Cousin Will Belton approve of the visit; and +what would her Cousin Mary say about it? If she was being driven into +this step against her own approval, by the insolence of Lady Aylmer if +she was doing this thing simply because Lady Aylmer had desired her not +to do it, and was doing it in opposition to the wishes of the man she +had promised to marry as well as to her own judgment, there could not +but be cause for shrinking. And yet she believed that she was right. If +she could only have had some one to tell her some one in whom she could +trust implicitly to direct her! She had hitherto been very much prone +to rebel against authority. Against her aunt she had rebelled, and +against her father, and against her lover. But now she wished with all +her heart that there might be some one to whom she could submit with +perfect faith. If she could only know what her Cousin Will would think. +In him she thought she could have trusted with that perfect faith if +only he would have been a brother to her. + +But it was too late now for doubting, and on the next day she found +herself getting out of the old Redicote fly, at Colonel Askerton's +door. He came out to meet her, and his greeting was very friendly. +Hitherto there had been no great intimacy between him and her, owing +rather to the manner of life adopted by him than to any cause of mutual +dislike between them. Mrs Askerton had shown herself desirous of some +social intercourse since she had been at Belton, but with Colonel +Askerton there had been nothing of this. He had come there intending to +live alone, and had been satisfied to carry out his purpose. But now +Clara had come to his house as a guest, and he assumed towards her +altogether a new manner. 'We are so glad to have you,' he said, taking +both her hands. Then she passed on into the cottage, and in a minute +was in her friend's arms. + +'Dear Clara dearest Clara, I am so glad to have you here.' + +'It is very good of you.' + +'No, dear; the goodness is with you to come. But we won't quarrel about +that. We will both be ever so good. And he is so happy that you should +be here. You'll get to know him now. But come upstairs. There's a fire +in your room, and I'll be your maid for the occasion because then we +can talk.' Clara did as she was bid and went upstairs; and as she sat +over the fire while her friend knelt beside her for Mrs Askerton was +given to such kneelings she could not but tell herself that Belton +Cottage was much more comfortable than Aylmer Park. During the whole +time of her sojourn at Aylmer Park no word of real friendship had once +greeted her ears. Everything there had been cold and formal, till +coldness and formality had given way to violent insolence. + +'And so you have quarrelled with her ladyship,' said Mrs Askerton. 'I +knew you would.' + +'I have not said anything about quarrelling with her.' + +'But of course you have. Come, now; don't make yourself disagreeable. +You have had a downright battle have you not?' + +'Something very like it, I'm afraid.' + +'I am so glad,' said Mrs Askerton, rubbing her hands. + +'That is ill-natured.' + +'Very well. Let it be ill-natured. One isn't to be good-natured all +round, or what would be the use of it? And what sort of a woman is she?' + +'Oh dear; I couldn't describe her. She is very large, and wears a great +wig, and manages everything herself, and I've no doubt she's a very +good woman in her own way.' + +'I can see her at once and a very pillar of virtue as regards morality +and going to church. Poor me! Does she know that you have come here?' + +'I have no doubt she does. I did not tell her, nor would I tell her +daughter; but I told Captain Aylmer.' + +'That was right. That was very right. I'm so glad of that. But who +would doubt that you would show a groper spirit? And what did he say?' + +'Not much, indeed.' + +'I won't trouble you about him. I don't in the least doubt but all that +will come right. And what sort of man is Sir Anthony?' + +'A common-place sort of a man; very gouty, and with none of his wife's +strength. I liked him the best of them all.' + +'Because you saw the least of him, I suppose.' + +'He was kind in his manner to me.' + +'And they were like she-dragons. I understand it all, and can see them +just as though I had been there. I felt that I knew what would come of +it when you first told me that you were going to Aylmer Park, I did, +indeed. I could have prophesied it all.' + +'What a pity you did not.' + +'It would have done no good and your going there has done good. It has +opened your eyes to more than one thing, I don't doubt. But tell me +have you told them in Norfolk that you were coming here?' + +'No I have not written to my cousin.' + +'Don't be angry with me if I tell you something. I have.' + +'Have what?' + +'I have told Mr Belton that you were coming here. It was in this way. I +had to write to him about our continuing in the cottage. Colonel +Askerton always makes me write if it's possible, and of course we were +obliged to settle something as to the place.' + +'I'm sorry you said anything about me.' + +'How could I help it? What would you have thought of me, or what would +he have thought, if, when writing to him, I had not mentioned such a +thing as your visit? Besides, it's much better that he should know.' + +'I am sorry that you said anything about it.' + +'You are ashamed that he should know that you are here,' said Mrs +Askerton, in a tone of reproach. + +'Ashamed! No; I am not ashamed. But I would sooner that he had not been +told as yet. Of course he would have been told before long.' + +'But you are not angry with me?' + +'Angry! How can I be angry with any one who is so kind to me?' + +That evening passed by very pleasantly, and when she went again to her +own room, Clara was almost surprised to find how completely she was at +home. On the next day she and Mrs Askerton together went up to the +house, and roamed through all the rooms, and Clara seated herself in +all the accustomed chairs. On the sofa, just in the spot to which +Belton had thrown it, she found the key of the cellar. She took it up +in her band, thinking that she would give it to the servant; but again +she put it back upon the sofa. It was his key, and he had left it +there, and if ever there came an occasion she would remind him where he +had put it. Then they went out to the cow, who was at her ease in a +little home paddock. + +'Dear Bessy,' said Clara, 'see how well she knows me.' But I think the +tame little beast would have known any one else as well who had gone up +to her as Clara did, with food in her hand. 'She is quite as sacred as +any cow that ever was worshipped among the cow-worshippers,' said Mrs +Askerton. I suppose they milk her and sell the butter, but otherwise +she is not regarded as an ordinary cow at all.' 'Poor Bessy,' said +Clara. 'I wish she had never come here. What is to be done with her?' +'Done with her! She'll stay here till she dies a natural death, and +then a romantic pair of mourners will follow her to her grave, mixing +their sympathetic tears comfortably as they talk of the old days; and +in future years, Bessy will grow to be a divinity of the past, never to +be mentioned without tenderest reminiscences. I have not the slightest +difficulty in prophesying as to Bessy's future life and posthumous +honours.' They roamed about the place the whole morning, through the +garden and round the farm buildings, and in and out of the house; and +at every turn something was said about Will Belton. But Clara would not +go up to the rocks, although Mrs Askerton more than once attempted to +turn in that direction. He had said that he never would go there again +except under certain circumstances. She knew that those circumstances +would never come to pass; but yet neither would she go there. She would +never go there till her cousin was married. Then, if in those days she +should ever be present at Belton Castle, she would creep up to the spot +all alone, and allow herself to think of the old days. + +On the following morning there came to her a letter bearing the Downham +post-mark but at the first glance she knew that it was not from her +Cousin Will. Will wrote with a bold round hand, that was extremely +plain and caligraphic when he allowed him. self time for the work in +hand, as he did with the commencement of his epistles, but which would +become confused and altogether anti- caligraphic when he fell into a +hurry towards the end of his performance as was his wont. But the +address of this letter was written in a pretty, small, female hand very +careful in the perfection of every letter, and very neat in every +stroke. It was from Mary Briton, between whom and Clara there had never +hitherto been occasion for correspondence. The letter was as follows: + +'Plaistow Hall, April, 186 . + +My Dear Cousin Clara, + +William has heard from your friends at Belton, who are tenants on the +estate, and as to whom there seems to be some question whether they are +to remain. He has written, saying, I believe, that there need be no +difficulty if they wish to stay there. But we learn, also, from Mrs +Askerton's letter, that you are expected at the cottage, and therefore +I will address this to Belton, supposing that it may find you there. + +You and I have never yet known each other which has been a grief to me; +but this grief, I hope, may be cured some day before long. I myself, as +you know, am such a poor creature that I cannot go about the world to +see my friends as other people do at least, not very well; and +therefore I write to you with the object of asking you to come and see +me here. This is an interesting old house in its way; and though I must +not conceal from you that life here is very, very quiet, I would do my +best to make the days pass pleasantly with you. I had heard that you +were gone to Aylmer Park. Indeed, William told me of his taking you up +to London. Now it seems you have left Yorkshire, and I suppose you will +not return there very soon. If it be so, will it not be well that you +should come to me for a short time? + +Both William and I feel that just for the present for a little time you +would perhaps prefer to be alone with me. He must go to London for +awhile, and then on to Belton, to settle your affairs and his. He +intends to be absent for six weeks. If you would not be afraid of the +dullness of this house for so long a time, pray come to us. The +pleasure to me would be very great, and I hope that you have some of +that feeling, which with me is so strong, that we ought not to be any +longer personally strangers to each other. You could then make up your +mind as to what you would choose to do afterwards. I think that by the +end of that time that is, when William returns my uncle and aunt from +Sleaford will be with us. He is a clergyman, you know; and if you then +like to remain, they will be delighted to make your acquaintance. + +It seems to be a long journey for a young lady to make alone, from +Belton to Plaistow; but travelling is so easy now-a-days, and young +ladies seem to be so independent, that you may be able to manage it. +Hoping to see you soon, I remain + +Your affectionate Cousin, + +MARY BELTON.' + +This letter she received before breakfast, and was therefore able to +read it in solitude, and to keep its receipt from the knowledge of Mrs +Askerton, if she should be so minded. She understood at once all that +it intended to convey a hint that Plaistow Hall would be a better +resting place for her than Mrs Askerton's cottage; and an assurance +that if she would go to Plaistow Hall for her convenience, no advantage +should be taken of her presence there by the owner of the house for his +convenience. As she sat thinking of the offer which had been made to +her she fancied that she could see and hear her Cousin Will as he +discussed the matter with his sister, and with a half assumption of +surliness declared his own intention of going away. Captain Aylmer, +after that interview in London, had spoken of Belton's conduct as being +unpardonable; but Clara had not only pardoned him, but had, in her own +mind, pronounced his virtues to be so much greater than his vices as to +make him almost perfect. 'But I will not drive him out of his own +house,' she said. 'What does it matter where I go?' + +'Colonel Askerton has had a letter from your cousin,' said Mrs Askerton +as soon as the two ladies were alone together. + +'And what does he say?' + +'Not a word about you.' + +'So much the better. I have given him trouble enough, and am glad to +think that he should be free of me for awhile. Is Colonel Askerton to +stay at the cottage?' + +'Now, Clara, you are a hypocrite. You know that you are a hypocrite.' + +'Very likely but I don't know why you should accuse me just now.' + +'Yes, you do. Have not you heard from Norfolk also?' 'Yes I have.' + +'I was sure of it. I knew he would never have written in that way, in +answer to my letter, ignoring your visit here altogether, unless he had +written to you also.' + +'But he has not written to me. My letter is from his sister. There it +is.' Whereupon she handed the letter to Mrs Askerton, and waited +patiently while it was being read. Her friend returned it to her +without a word, and Clara was the first to speak again. 'It is a nice +letter, is it not? I never saw her, you know.' + +'So she says.' + +'But is it not a kind letter?' + +'I suppose it is meant for kindness. It is not very complimentary to +me. It presumes that such a one as I may be treated without the +slightest consideration. And so I may. It is only fit that I should be +so treated. If you ask my advice, I advise you to go at once at once.' + +'But I have not asked your advice, dear; nor do I intend to ask it.' + +'You would not have shown it me if you had not intended to go.' + +'How unreasonable you are! You told me just now that I was a hypocrite +for not telling you of my letter, and now you are angry with me because +I have shown it you.' + +'I am not angry. I think you have been quite right to show it me. I +don't know how else you could have acted upon it.' + +'But I do not mean to act upon it. I shall not go to Plaistow. There +are two reasons against it, each sufficient. I shall not leave you just +yet unless you send me away; and I shall not cause my cousin to be +turned out of his own house.' + +'Why should he be turned out? Why should you not go to him? You love +him and as for him, he is more in love than any man I ever knew. Go to +Plaistow Hall, and everything will run smooth.' + +'No, dear; I shall not do that.' + +'Then you are foolish. I am bound to tell you so, as I have inveigled +you here.' + +'I thought I had invited myself.' + +'No; I asked you to come, and when I asked you I knew that I was wrong. +Though I meant to be kind, I knew that I was unkind. I saw that my +husband disapproved it, though he had not the heart to tell me so. I +wish he had. I wish he had.' + +'Mrs Askerton, I cannot tell you how much you wrong yourself, and how +you wrong me also. I am more than contented to be here.' + +'But you should not be contented to be here. It is just that. In +learning to love me or rather, perhaps, to pity me, you lower yourself. +Do you think that I do not see it all, and know it all? Of course it is +bad to be alone, but I have no right not to be alone.' There was +nothing for Clara to do but to draw herself once again close to the +poor woman, and to embrace her with protestations of fair, honest, +equal regard and friendship. 'Do you think I do not understand that +letter?' continued Mrs Askerton. 'If it had come from Lady Aylmer I +could have laughed at it, because I believe Lady Aylmer to be an +overbearing virago, whom it is good to put down in every way possible. +But this comes from a pure-minded woman, one whom I believe to be +little given to harsh judgments on her fellow-sinners; and she tells +you, in her calm wise way, that it is bad for you to be here with me.' + +'She says nothing of the kind.' + +'But does she not mean it? Tell me honestly do you not know that she +means it?' + +'I am not to be guided by what she means.' + +'But you are to be guided by what her brother means. It is to come to +that, and you may as well bend your neck at once. It is to come to +that, and the sooner the better for you. it is easy to see that you are +badly off for guidance when you take up me as your friend.' When she +had so spoken Mrs Askerton got up and went to the door. 'No, Clara, do +not come with me; not now,' she said, turning to her companion, who had +risen as though to follow her. 'I will come to you soon, but I would +rather be alone now. And, look here, dear; you must answer your +cousin's letter. Do so at once, and say that you will go to Plaistow. +In any event it will be better for you.' + +Clara, when she was alone, did answer her cousin's letter, but she did +not accept the invitation that had been given her. She assured Miss +Belton that she was most anxious to know her, and hoped that she might +do so before long, either at Plaistow or at Belton; but that at present +she was under an engagement to stay with her friend Mrs Askerton. In an +hour or two Mrs Askerton returned, and Clara handed to her the note to +read. 'Then all I can say is you are very silly, and don't know on +which side your bread is buttered.' It was evident from Mrs Askerton's +voice that she had recovered her mood and tone of mind. 'I don't +suppose it will much signify, as it will all come right at last,' she +said afterwards. And then, after luncheon, when she had been for a few +minutes with her husband in his own room, she told Clara that the +colonel wanted to speak to her. 'You'll find him as grave as a judge, +for he has got something to say to you in earnest. Nobody can be so +stern as he is when he chooses to put on his wig and gown.' So Clara +went into the colonel's study, and seated herself in a chair which he +had prepared for her. + +She remained there for over an hour, and during the hour the +conversation became very animated. Colonel Askerton's assumed gravity +had given way to ordinary eagerness, during which he walked about the +room in the vehemence of his argument; and Clara, in answering him, had +also put forth all her strength. She had expected that he also was +going to speak to her on the propriety of her going to Norfolk; but he +made no allusion to that subject, although all that he did say was +founded on Will Belton's letter to himself. Belton, in speaking of the +cottage, had told Colonel Askerton that Miss Amedroz would be his +future landlord, and had then gone on to explain that it was his, +Belton's, intention to destroy the entail, and allow the property to +descend from the father to the daughter. 'As Miss Amedroz is with you +now,' he said, 'may I beg you to take the trouble to explain the matter +to her at length, and to make her understand that the estate is now, at +this moment, in fact her own. Her possession of it does not depend on +any act of hers or, indeed, upon her own will or wish in the matter.' +On this subject Colonel Askerton had argued, using all his skill to +make Clara in truth perceive that she was her father's heiress through +the generosity undoubtedly of her cousin and that she had no +alternative but to assume the possession which was thus thrust upon her. + +And so eloquent was the colonel that Clara was staggered, though she +was not convinced. 'It is quite impossible,' she said. 'Though he may +be able to make it over to me, I can give it back again.' + +'I think not. In such a matter as this a lady in your position can only +be guided by her natural advisers her father's lawyer and other family +friends.' + +'I don't know why a young lady should be in any way different from an +old gentleman.' + +'But an old gentleman would not hesitate under such circumstances. The +entail in itself was a cruelty, and the operation of it on your poor +brother's death was additionally cruel.' + +'It is cruel that any one should be poor,' argued Clara; 'but that does +not take away the right of a rich man to his property.' + +There was much more of this sort said between them, till Clara was at +any rate convinced that Colonel Askerton believed that she ought to be +the owner of the property. And then at last he ventured upon another +argument which soon drove Clara out of the room. 'There is, I believe, +one way in which it can all be made right,' said he. + +'What way? 'said Clara, forgetting in her eagerness the obviousness of +the mode which her companion was about to point out. + +'Of course, I know nothing of this myself,' he said smiling; 'but Mary +thinks that you and your cousin might arrange it between you if you +were together.' + +'You must not listen to what she says about that, Colonel Askerton.' +'Must I not? Well; I will not listen to more than I can help; but Mary, +as you know, is a persistent talker. I, at any rate, have done my +commission.' Then Clara left him and was alone for what remained of the +afternoon. + +It could not be, she said to herself, that the property ought to be +hers. It would make her miserable, were she once to feel that she had +accepted it. Some small allowance out of it, coming to her from the +brotherly love of her cousin some moderate stipend sufficient for her +livelihood, she thought she could accept from him. It seemed to her +that it was her destiny to be dependent on charity to eat bread given +to her from the benevolence of a friend; and she thought that she could +endure his benevolence better than that of any other. Benevolence from +Aylmer Park or from Perivale would be altogether unendurable. + +But why should it not be as Colonel Askerton had proposed? That this +cousin of hers loved her with all his heart with a constancy for which +she had at first given him no credit she was well aware. And, as +regarded herself, she loved him better than all the world beside. She +had at last become conscious that she could not now marry Captain +Aylmer without sin without false vows, and fatal injury to herself and +him. To the prospect of that marriage, as her future fate, an end must +be put at any rate an end, if that which had already taken place was +not to be regarded as end enough. But yet she had been engaged to +Captain Aylmer was engaged to him even now. When last her cousin had +mentioned to her Captain Aylmer's name she had declared that she loved +him still. How then could she turn round now, and so soon accept the +love of another man? How could she bring herself to let her cousin +assume to himself the place of a lover, when it was but the other day +that she had rebuked him for expressing the faintest hope in that +direction? + +But yet yet ! As for going to Plaistow, that was quite out of the +question. + +'So you are to be the heiress after all,' said Mrs Askerton to her that +night in her bedroom. + +'No; I am not to be the heiress after all,' said Clara, rising against +her friend impetuously. + +'You'll have to be lady of Belton in one way or the other at any rate,' +said Mrs Askerton. + + +CHAPTER XXVIII + +MISS AMEDROZ IS PURSUED + +'I suppose now, my dear, it may be considered that everything is +settled about that young lady,' said Lady Aylmer to her son, on the +same day that Miss Amedroz left Aylmer Park. + +'Nothing is settled, ma'am,' said the captain. + +'You don't mean to tell me that after what has passed you intend to +follow her up any farther.' + +'I shall certainly endeavour to see her again.' + +'Then, Frederic, I must tell you that you are very wrong indeed almost +worse than wrong. I would say wicked, only I feel sure that you will +think better of it. You cannot mean to tell me that you would marry her +after what has taken place?' + +'The question is whether she would marry me.' + +'That is nonsense, Frederic. I wonder that you, who are so generally so +clear-sighted, cannot see more plainly than that. She is a scheming, +artful young woman, who is playing a regular game to catch a husband.' + +'If that were so, she would have been more humble to you, ma'am.' + +'Not a bit, Fred. That's just it. That has been her cleverness. She +tried that on at first, and found that she could not get round me. +Don't allow yourself to be deceived by that, I pray. And then there is +no knowing how she may be bound up with those horrid people, so that +she cannot throw them over, even if she would.' + +'I don't think you understand her, ma'am.' + +'Oh very well. But I understand this, and you had better understand it +too that she will never again enter a house of which I am the mistress; +nor can I ever enter a house in which she is received. If you choose to +make her your wife after that, I have done.' Lady Aylmer had not done, +or nearly done; but we need hear no more of her threats or entreaties. +Her son left Aylmer Park immediately after Easter Sunday, and as he +went, the mother, nodding her head, declared to her daughter that that +marriage would never come off, let Clara Amedroz be ever so sly, or +ever so clever. + +'Think of what I have said to you, Fred,' said Sir Anthony, as he took +his leave of his son. + +'Yes, sir, I will.' + +'You can't be better off than you are you can't, indeed.' With these +words in his ears Captain Aylmer started for London, intending to +follow Clara down to Belton. He hardly knew his own mind on this matter +of his purposed marriage. He was almost inclined to agree with his +father that he was very well off as he was. He was almost inclined to +agree with his mother in her condemnation of Clara's conduct. He was +almost inclined to think that he had done enough towards keeping the +promise made to his aunt on her death. bed but still he was not quite +contented with himself. He desired to be honest and true, as far as his +ideas went of honesty and truth, and his conscience told him that Clara +had been treated with cruelty by his mother. I am inclined to think +that Lady Aylmer, in spite of her high experience and character for +wisdom, had not fought her battle altogether well. No man likes to be +talked out of his marriage by his mother, and especially not so when +the talking takes the shape of threats. When she told him that under no +circumstances would she again know Clara Amedroz, he was driven by his +spirit of manhood to declare to himself that that menace from her +should not have the slightest influence on him. The word or two which +his father said was more effective. After all it might be better for +him in his peculiar position to have no wife at all. He did begin to +believe that he had no need for a wife. He had never before thought so +much of his father's example as he did now. Clara was manifestly a +hot-tempered woman a very hot-tempered woman indeed! Now his mother was +also a hot-tempered woman, and he could see the result in the present +condition of his father's life. He resolved that he would follow Clara +to Belton, so that some final settlement might be made between them; +but in coming to this resolution he acknowledged to himself that should +she decide against him he would not break his heart. She, however, +should have her chance. Undoubtedly it was only right that she should +have her chance. + + + +But the difficulty of the circumstances in which he was placed was so +great, that it was almost impossible for him to make up his mind +fixedly to any purpose in reference to Clara. As he passed through +London on his way to Belton he called at Mr Green's chambers with +reference to that sum of fifteen hundred pounds, which it was now +absolutely necessary that he should make over to Miss Amedroz, and from +Mr Green he learned that William Belton had given positive instructions +as to the destination of the Belton estate. He would not inherit it, or +have anything to do with it under the entail from the effects of which +he desired to be made entirely free. Mr Green, who knew that Captain +Aylmer was engaged to marry his client, and who knew nothing of any +interruption to that agreement, felt no hesitation in explaining all +this to Captain Aylmer. 'I suppose you had heard of it before,' said Mr +Green. Captain Aylmer certainly had heard of it, and had been very much +struck by the idea; but up to this moment he had not quite believed in +it. Coming simply from William Belton to Clara Amedroz, such an offer +might be no more than a strong argument used in love- making. 'Take +back the property, but take me with it, of course.' That Captain Aylmer +thought might have been the correct translation of Mr William Belton's +romance. But he was forced to look at the matter differently when he +found that it had been put into a lawyer's hands. 'Yes,' said he,' I +have heard of it. Mr Belton mentioned it to me himself.' This was not +strictly true. Clara had mentioned it to him; but Belton had come into +the room immediately afterwards, and Captain Aylmer might probably have +been mistaken. + +'He's quite in earnest,' said Mr Green. + +'Of course, I can say nothing, Mr Green, as I am myself so nearly +interested in the matter. It is a great question, no doubt, how far +such an entail as that should be allowed to operate.' + +'I think it should stand, as a matter of course. I think Belton is +wrong,' said Mr Green. + +'Of course I can give no opinion,' said the other. + +'I'll tell you what you can do, Captain Aylmer. You can suggest to Miss +Amedroz that there should be a compromise. Let them divide it. They are +both clients of mine, and in that way I shall do my duty to each. Let +them divide it. Belton has money enough to buy up the other moiety, and +in that way would still be Belton of Belton.' + +Captain Aylmer had not the slightest objection to such a plan. Indeed, +he regarded it as in all respects a wise and salutary arrangement. The +moiety of the Belton estate might probably be worth twenty-five +thousand pounds, and the addition of such a sum as that to his existing +means would make all the difference in the world as to the expediency +of his marriage. His father's arguments would all fall to the ground if +twenty-five thousand pounds were to be obtained in this way; and he had +but little doubt that such a change in affairs would go far to mitigate +his mother's wrath. But he was by no means mercenary in his views so, +at least, he assured himself. Clara should have her chance with or +without the Belton estate or with or without the half of it. He was by +no means mercenary. Had he not made his offer to her and repeated it +almost with obstinacy, when she had no prospect of any fortune? He +could always remember that of himself at least; and remembering that +now, he could take a delight in these bright money prospects without +having to accuse himself in the slightest degree of mercenary motives. +This fortune was a godsend which he could take with clean hands if only +he should ultimately be able to take the lady who possessed the fortune! + +>From London he wrote to Clara, telling her that he proposed to visit +her at Belton. His letter was written before he had seen Mr Green, and +was not very fervent in its expressions; but, nevertheless, it was a +fair letter, written with the intention of giving her a fair chance. He +had seen with great sorrow 'with heartfelt grief,' that quarrel between +his mother and his own Clara. Thinking, as he felt himself obliged to +think, about Mrs Askerton, he could not but feel that his mother bad +cause for her anger. But he himself was unprejudiced, and was ready, +and anxious also the word anxious was underscored to carry out his +engagement. A few words between them might probably set everything +right, and therefore be proposed to meet her at the Belton Castle +house, at such an hour, on such a day. He should run down to Perivale +on his journey, and perhaps Clara would let him have a line addressed +to him there. Such was his letter. + +'What do you think of that?' said Clara, showing it to Mrs Askerton on +the afternoon of the day on which she had received it. + +'What do you think of it?' said Mrs Askerton. 'I can only hope, that he +will not come within reach of my hands.' + +'You are not angry with me for showing it to you?' + +'No why should I be angry with you? Of course I knew it all without any +showing. Do not tell Colonel Askerton, or they will be killing each +other.' + +'Of course I shall not tell Colonel Askerton; but I could not help +showing this to you.' + +'And you will meet him?' + +'Yes; I shall meet him. What else can I do?' + +'Unless, indeed, you were to write and tell him that it would do no +good.' + +'It will be better that he should come.' + +'If you allow him to talk you over you will be a wretched woman all +your life.' + +'It will be better that he should come,' said Clara again. And then she +wrote to Captain Aylmer at Perivale, telling him that she would be at +the house at the hour he had named, on the day he had named. + +When that day came she walked across the park a little before the time +fixed, not wishing to meet Captain Aylmer before she had reached the +house. It was now nearly the middle of April, and the weather was soft +and pleasant. It was almost summer again, and as she felt this, she +thought of all the events which had occurred since the last summer of +their agony of grief at the catastrophe which had closed her brother's +life, of her aunt's death first, and then of her father's following so +close upon the other, and of the two offers of marriage made to her as +to which she was now aware that she had accepted the wrong man and +rejected the wrong man. She was steadily minded, now, at this moment, +that before she parted from Captain Aylmer, her engagement with him +should be brought to a close. Now, at this coming interview, so much at +any rate should be done. She had tried to make herself believe that she +felt for him that sort of affection which a woman should have for the +man she is to marry, but she had failed. She hardly knew whether she +had in truth ever loved him; but she was quite sure that she did not +love him now. No she had done with Aylmer Park, and she could feel +thankful, amidst all her troubles, that that difficulty should vex her +no more. In showing Captain Aylmer's letter to Mrs Askerton she had +made no such promise as this, but her mind had been quite made up. 'He +certainly shall not talk me over,' she said to herself as she walked +across the park. + +But she could not see her way so clearly out of that further difficulty +with regard to her cousin. It might be that she would be able to rid +herself of the one lover with comparative ease; but she could not bring +herself to entertain the idea of accepting the other. It was true that +this man longed for her desired to call her his own, with a wearing, +anxious, painful desire which made his heart grievously heavy heavy as +though with lead hanging to its strings; and it was true that Clara +knew that it was so. It was true also that his spirit had mastered her +spirit, and that his persistence had conquered her resistance the +resistance, that is, of her feelings. But there remained with her a +feminine shame, which made it seem to her to be impossible that she +should now reject Captain Aylmer, and as a consequence of that +rejection, accept Will Belton's hand. As she thought of this, she could +not see her way out of her trouble in that direction with any of that +clearness which belonged to her in reference to Captain Aylmer. + +She had been an hour in the house before he came, and never did an hour +go so heavily with her. There was no employment for her about the +place, and Mrs Bunce, the old woman who now lived there, could not +understand why her late mistress chose to remain seated among the +unused furniture. Clara had of course told her that a gentleman was +coming. 'Not Mr Will?' said the woman. 'No; it is not Mr Will,' said +Clara; 'his name is Captain Aylmer.' 'Oh, indeed.' And then Mrs Bunce +looked at her with a mystified look. Why on earth should not the +gentleman call on Miss Amedroz at Mrs Askerton's cottage? 'I'll be sure +to show 'un up, when a comes, at any rate,' said the old woman solemnly +and Clara felt that it was all very uncomfortable. + +At last the gentleman did come, and was shown up with all the ceremony +of which Mrs Bunce was capable. 'Here he be, mum.' Then Mrs Bunce +paused a moment before she retreated, anxious to learn whether the new +corner was a friend or a foe. She concluded from the captain's manner +that he was a very dear friend, and then she departed. + +'I hope you are not surprised at my coming,' said Captain Aylmer, still +holding Clara by the hand. + +'A little surprised,' she said, smiling. + +'But not annoyed?' + +'No not annoyed.' + +'As soon as you had left Aylmer Park I felt that it was the right thing +to do the only thing to do as I told my mother.' + +'I hope you have not come in opposition to her wishes,' said Clara, +unable to control a slight tone of banter as she spoke. + +'In this matter I found myself compelled to act in accordance with my +own judgment,' said he, untouched by her sarcasm. + +'Then I suppose that Lady Aylmer is is vexed with you for coming here. +I shall be so sorry for that so very sorry, as no good can come of it.' + +'Well I am not so sure of that. My mother is a most excellent woman, +one for whose opinions on all matters I have the highest possible value +a value so high, that that that' + +'That you never ought to act in opposition to it. That is what you +really mean, Captain Aylmer; and upon my word I think that you are +right.' + +'No, Clara; that is not what I mean not exactly that. Indeed, just at +present I mean the reverse of that. There are some things on which a +man must act on his own judgment, irrespectively of the opinions of any +one else.' + +'Not of a mother, Captain Aylmer?' + +'Yes of a mother. That is to say, a man must do so. With a lady of +course it is different. I was very, very sorry that there should have +been any unpleasantness at Aylmer Park.' + +'It was not pleasant to me, certainly.' + +'Nor to any of us, Clara.' + +'At any rate, it need not be repeated.' + +'I hope not.' + +'No it certainly need not be repeated. I know now that I was wrong to +go to Aylmer Park. I felt sure beforehand that there were many things +as to which I could not possibly agree with Lady Aylmer, and I ought +not to have gone.' + +'I don't see that at all, Clara.' + +'I do see it now.' + +'I can't understand you. What things? Why should you be determined to +disagree with my mother? Surely you ought at any rate to endeavour to +think as she thinks.' + +'I cannot do that, Captain Aylmer.' + +'I am sorry to hear you speak in this way. I have come here all the way +from Yorkshire to try to put things straight between us; but you +receive me as though you would remember nothing but that unpleasant +quarrel.' + +'It was so unpleasant so very unpleasant! I had better speak out the +truth at once. I think that Lady Aylmer ill-used me cruelly. I do. No +one can talk me out of that conviction. Of course I am sorry to be +driven to say as much to you and I should never have said it, had you +not come here. But when you speak of me and your mother together, I +must say what I feel. Your mother and I, Captain Aylmer, are so opposed +to each other, not only in feeling, but in opinions also, that it is +impossible that we should be friends impossible that we should not be +enemies if we are brought together.' + +This she said with great energy, looking intently into his face as she +spoke. He was seated near her, on a chair from which he was leaning +over towards her, holding his hat in both hands between his legs. Now, +as he listened to her, he drew his chair still nearer, ridding himself +of his hat, which he left upon the carpet, and keeping his eyes upon +hers as though he were fascinated. 'I am sorry to hear you speak like +this,' he said. + +'It is best to say the truth.' + +'But, Clara, if you intend to be my wife' + +'Oh, no that is impossible now.' 'What is impossible?' + +'Impossible that I should become your wife. Indeed I have convinced +myself that you do not wish it.' + +'But I do wish it.' + +'No no. If you will question your heart about it quietly, you will find +that you do not wish it.' + +'You wrong me, Clara.' + +'At any rate it cannot be so.' + +'I will not take that answer from you,' he said, getting up from his +chair, and walking once up and down the room. Then he returned to it, +and repeated his words. 'I will not take that answer from you. An +engagement such as ours cannot be put aside like an old glove. You do +not mean to tell me that all that has been between us is to mean +nothing.' There was something now like feeling in his tone, something +like passion in his gesture, and Clara, though she had no thought of +changing her purpose, was becoming unhappy at the idea of his +unhappiness. + +'It has meant nothing,' she said. 'We have been like children together, +playing at being in love. It is a game from which you will come out +scatheless, but I have been scalded.' + +'Scalded!' + +'Well never mind. I do not mean to complain, and certainly not of you.' + +'I have come here all the way from Yorkshire in order that things may +be put right between us.' + +'You have been very good very good to come, and I will not say that I +regret your trouble. It is best, I think, that we should meet each +other once more face to face, so that we may understand each other. +There was no understanding anything during those terrible days at +Aylmer Park.' Then she paused, but as he did not speak at once she went +on. 'I do not blame you for anything that has taken place, but I am +quite sure of this that you and I could never be happy together as man +and wife.' + +'I do not know why you say so; I do not indeed.' + +'You would disapprove of everything that I should do. You do disapprove +of what I am doing now.' + +'Disapprove of what?' + +'I am staying with my friend, Mrs Askerton.' + +He felt that this was hard upon him. As she had shown herself inclined +to withdraw herself from him, he had become more resolute in his desire +to follow her up, and to hold by his engagement. He was not employed +now in giving her another chance as he had proposed to himself to do +but was using what eloquence he had to obtain another chance for +himself. Lady Aylmer had almost made him believe that Clara would be +the suppliant, but now he was the suppliant himself. In his anxiety to +keep her he was willing even to pass over her terrible iniquity in +regard to Mrs Askerton that great sin which had led to all these +troubles. He had once written to her about Mrs Askerton, using very +strong language, and threatening her with his mother's full +displeasure. At that time Mrs Askerton had simply been her friend. +There had been no question then of her taking refuge under that woman's +roof. Now she had repelled Lady Aylmer's counsels with scorn, was +living as a guest in Mrs Askerton's house; and yet he was willing to +pass over the Askerton difficulty without a word. He was willing not +only to condone past offences, but to wink at existing iniquity! But +she she who was the sinner, would not permit of this. She herself +dragged up Mrs Askerton's name, and seemed to glory in her own shame. + +'I had not intended,' said he, 'to speak of your friend.' + +'I only mention her to show how impossible it is that we should ever +agree upon some subjects as to which a husband and wife should always +be of one mind. I knew this from the moment in which I got your letter +and only that I was a coward I should have said so then.' + +'And you mean to quarrel with me altogether?' + +'No why should we quarrel?' + +'Why, indeed?' said he. + +'But I wish it to be settled quite settled, as from the nature of +things it must be, that there shall be no attempt at renewal of our +engagement. After what has passed, how could I enter your mother's +house?' + +'But you need not enter it.' Now, in his emergency he was willing to +give up anything everything. He had been prepared to talk her over into +a reconciliation with his mother, to admit that there had been faults +on both sides, to come down from his high pedestal and discuss the +matter as though Clara and his mother stood upon the same footing. +Having recognized the spirit of his lady-love, he had told himself that +so much indignity as that must be endured. But now, he had been carried +so far beyond this, that he was willing, in the sudden vehemence of his +love, to throw his mother over altogether, and to accede to any terms +which Clara might propose to him. 'Of course, I would wish you to be +friends,' he said, using now all the tones of a suppliant; 'but if you +found that it could not be so' + +'Do you think that I would divide you from your mother?' + +'There need be no question as to that.' + +'Ah there you are wrong. There must be such questions. I should have +thought of it sooner.' + +'Clara, you are more to me than my mother. Ten times more.' As he said +this he came up and knelt down beside her. 'You are everything to me. +You will not throw me over.' He was a suppliant indeed, and such +supplications are very potent with women. Men succeed often by the +simple earnestness of their prayers. Women cannot refuse to give that +which is asked for with so much of the vehemence of true desire. +'Clara, you have promised to be my wife. You have twice promised; and +can have no right to go back because you are displeased with what my +mother may have said. I am not responsible for my mother. Clara, say +that you will be my wife.' As he spoke he strove to take her hand, and +his voice sounded as though there were in truth something of passion in +his heart. + + +CHAPTER XXIX + +THERE IS NOTHING TO TELL + +Captain Aylmer had never before this knelt to Clara Amedroz. Such +kneeling on the part of lovers used to be the fashion because lovers in +those days held in higher value than they do now that which they asked +their ladies to give or because they pretended to do so. The forms at +least of supplication were used; whereas in these wiser days Augustus +simply suggests to Caroline that they two might as well make fools of +themselves together and so the thing is settled without the need of +much prayer. Captain Aylmer's engagement had been originally made +somewhat after this fashion. He had not, indeed, spoken of the thing +contemplated as a folly, not being a man given to little waggeries of +that nature; but he had been calm, unenthusiastic, and reasonable. He +bad not attempted to evince any passion, and would have been quite +content that Clara should believe that he married as much from +obedience to his aunt as from love for herself, had he not found that +Clara would not take him at all under such a conviction. But though she +had declined to come to him after that fashion though something more +than that had been needed still she had been won easily, and, +therefore, lightly prized. I fear that it is so with everything that we +value with our horses, our houses, our wines, and, above all, with our +women. Where is the man who has heart and soul big enough to love a +woman with increased force of passion because she has at once +recognized in him all that she has herself desired? Captain Aylmer +having won his spurs easily, had taken no care in buckling them, and +now found, to his surprise, that he was like to lose them. He had told +himself that he would only be too glad to shuffle his feet free of +their bondage; but now that they were going from him, he began to find +that they were very necessary for the road that he was to travel. +'Clara,' he said, kneeling by her side,' you are more to me than my +mother; ten times more!' + +This was all new to her. Hitherto, though she had never desired that he +should assume such attitude as this, she had constantly been +unconsciously wounded by his coldness by his cold propriety and +unbending self-possession. His cold propriety and unbending +self-possession were gone now, and he was there at her feet. Such an +argument, used at Aylmer Park, would have conquered her would have won +her at once, in spite of herself; but now she was minded to be +resolute. She had sworn to herself that she would not peril herself, or +him, by joining herself to a man with whom she had so little sympathy, +and who apparently had none with her. But in what way was she to answer +such a prayer as that which was now made to her? The man who addressed +her was entitled to use all the warmth of an accepted lover. He only +asked for that which had already been given to him. + +'Captain Aylmer ' she began. + +'Why is it to be Captain Aylmer? What have I done that you should use +me in this way? It was not I who who made you unhappy at Aylmer Park.' + +'I will not go back to that. It is of no use. Pray get up. It shocks me +to see you in this way.' + +'Tell me, then, that it is once more all right between us. Say that, +and I shall be happier than I ever was before yes, than I ever was +before. I know how much I love you now, how sore it would be to lose +you. I have been wrong. I had not thought enough of that, but I will +think of it now.' + +She found that the task before her was very difficult so difficult that +she almost broke down in performing it. It would have been so easy and, +for the moment, so pleasant to have yielded. He had his hand upon her +arm, having attempted to take her hand. In preventing that she had +succeeded, but she could not altogether make herself free from him +without rising. For a moment she had paused paused as though she were +about to yield. For a moment, as he looked into her eyes, he had +thought that he would again be victorious. Perhaps there was something +in his glance, some too visible return of triumph to his eyes, which +warned her of her danger. 'No!' she said, getting up and walking away +from him; 'no!' + +'And what does "no" mean, Clara?' Then he also rose, and stood leaning +on the table. 'Does it mean that you will be forsworn?' + +'It means this that I will not come between you and your mother; that I +will not be taken into a family in which I am scorned; that I will not +go to Aylmer Park myself or be the means of preventing you from going +there.' + +'There need be no question of Aylmer Park.' + +'There shall be none!' + +'But, so much being allowed, you will be my wife?' + +'No, Captain Aylmer no. I cannot be your wife. Do not press it further; +you must know that on such a subject I would think much before I +answered you. I have thought much, and I know that I am right.' + +'And your promised word is to go for nothing?' + +'If it will comfort you to say so, you may say it. If you do not +perceive that the mistake made between us has been as much your mistake +as mine, and has injured me more than it has injured you, I will not +remind you of it will never remind you of it after this.' + +'But there has been no mistake and there shall be no injury.' + +'Ah, Captain Aylmer you do not understand; you cannot understand. I +would not for worlds reproach you; but do you think I suffered nothing +from your mother?' + +'And must I pay for her sins?' + +'There shall be no paying, no punishment, and no reproaches. There +shall be none at least from me. But do not think that I speak in anger +or in pride I will not marry into Lady Aylmer's family.' + +'This is too bad too bad! After all that is past, it is too bad!' + +'What can I say? Would you advise me to do that which would make us +both wretched?' + +'It would not make me wretched. It would make me happy. It would +satisfy me altogether.' + +'It cannot be, Captain Aylmer. It cannot be. When I speak to you in +that way, will you not let it be final?' + +He paused a moment before he spoke again, and then he turned sharp upon +her. 'Tell me this, Clara; do you love me? Have you ever loved me?' She +did not answer him, but stood there, listening quietly to his +accusations. 'You have never loved me, and yet you have allowed +yourself to say that you did. Is not that true?' Still she did not +answer. 'I ask you whether that is not true?' But though he asked her, +and paused for an answer, looking the while full into her face, yet she +did not speak. And now I suppose you will become your cousin's wife?' +he said. 'It will suit you to change, and to say that you love him.' + +Then at last she spoke. 'I did not think that you would have treated me +in this way, Captain Aylmer! I did not expect that you would insult me!' + +'I have not insulted you.' + +'But your manner to me makes my task easier than I could have hoped it +to be. You asked me whether I ever loved you? I once thought that I did +so; and so thinking, told you, without reserve, all my feeling. When I +came to find that I had been mistaken, I conceived myself bound by my +engagement to rectify my own error as best I could; and I resolved, +wrongly as I now think, very wrongly that I could learn as your wife to +love you. Then came circumstances which showed me that a release would +be good for both of us, and which justified me in accepting it. No girl +could be bound by any engagement to a man who looked on and saw her +treated in his own home, by his own mother, as you saw me treated at +Aylmer Park. I claim to be released myself, and I know that this +release is as good for you as it is for me.' + +'I am the best judge of that.' + +'For myself at any rate I will judge. For myself I have decided. Now I +have answered the questions which you asked me as to my love for +yourself. To that other question which you have thought fit to put to +me about my cousin, I refuse to give any answer whatsoever.' Then, +having said so much, she walked out of the room, closing the door +behind her, and left him standing there alone. + +We need not follow her as she went up, almost mechanically, into her +own room the room that used to be her own and then shut herself in, +waiting till she should be assured, first by sounds in the house, and +then by silence, that he was gone. That she fell away greatly from the +majesty of her demeanour when she was thus alone, and descended to the +ordinary ways of troubled females, we may be quite sure. But to her +there was no further difficulty. Her work for the day was done. In due +time she would take herself to the cottage, and all would be well, or, +at any rate, comfortable with her. But what was he to do? How was he to +get himself out of the house, and take himself back to London? While he +had been in pursuit of her, and when he was leaving his vehicle at the +public- house in the village of Belton, he like some other invading +generals had failed to provide adequately for his retreat. When he was +alone he took a turn or two about the room, half thinking that Clara +would return to him. She could hardly leave him alone in a strange +house him, who, as he had twice told her, had come all the way from +Yorkshire to see her. But she did not return, and gradually he came to +understand that he must provide for his own retreat without assistance. +He was hardly aware, even now, how greatly he had transcended his usual +modes of speech and action, both in the energy of his supplication and +in the violence of his rebuke. He had been lifted for awhile out of +himself by the excitement of his position, and now that he was +subsiding into quiescence, he was unconscious that he had almost +mounted into passion that he had spoken of love very nearly with +eloquence. But he did recognize this as a fact that Clara was not to be +his wife, and that he had better get back from Belton to London as +quickly as possible. It would be well for him to teach himself to look +back on the result of his aunt's dying request as an episode in his +life satisfactorily concluded. His mother had undoubtedly been right. +Clara, he could see now, would have led him a devil of a life; and even +had she come to him possessed of a moiety of the property a supposition +as to which he had very strong doubts still she might have been dear at +the money. 'No real feeling,' he said to himself, as he walked about +the room 'none whatever; and then so deficient in delicacy!' But still +he was discontented because he had been rejected, and therefore tried +to make him. self believe that he could still have her if he chose to +persevere. 'But no,' he said, as he continued to pace the room, 'I have +done everything more than every. thing that honour demands. I shall not +ask her again. it is her own fault. She is an imperious woman, and my +mother read her character aright.' It did not occur to him, as he thus +consoled himself for what he had lost, that his mother's accusation +against Clara had been altogether of a different nature. When we +console ourselves by our own arguments, we are not apt to examine their +accuracy with much strictness. + +But whether he were consoled or not, it was necessary that he should +go, and in his going he felt himself to be ill-treated. He left the +room, and as he went downstairs was disturbed and tormented by the +creaking of his own boots. He tried to be dignified as he walked +through the hall, and was troubled at his failure, though he was not +conscious of any one looking at him. Then it was grievous that he +should have to let himself out of the front door without attendance. At +ordinary times he thought as little of such things as most men, and +would not be aware whether he opened a door for himself or had it +opened for him by another but now there was a distressing awkwardness +in the necessity for self-exertion. He did not know the turn of the +handle, and was unfamiliar with the manner of exit. He was being +treated with indignity, and before he had escaped from the house had +come to think that the Amedroz and Belton people were somewhat below +him. He endeavoured to go out without a noise, but there was a slam of +the door, without which he could not get the lock to work; and Clara, +up in her own room, knew all about it. + +'Carriage yes; of course I want the carnage,' he said to the +unfortunate boy at the public-house. 'Didn't you hear me say that I +wanted it?' He had come down with a pair of horses, and as he saw them +being put to the vehicle he wished he had been contented with one. As +he was standing there, waiting, a gentleman rode by, and the boy, in +answer to his question, told him that the horseman was Colonel +Askerton. Before the day was over Colonel Askerton would probably know +all that had happened to him. 'Do move a little quicker; will you?' he +said to the boy and the old man who was to drive him. Then he got into +the carriage, and was driven out of Belton, devoutly purposing that he +never would return; and as he made his way back to Perivale he thought +of a certain Lady Emily, who would, as he assured himself, have behaved +much better than Clara Amedroz had done in any such scene as that which +had just taken place. + +When Clara was quite sure that Captain Aylmer was off the premises, +she, too, descended, but she did not immediately leave the house. She +walked through the room, and rang for the old woman, and gave certain +directions as to the performance of which she certainly was not very +anxious, and was careful to make Mrs Bunce understand that nothing had +occurred between her and the gentleman that was either exalting or +depressing in its nature. 'I suppose Captain Aylmer went out, Mrs +Bunce?' 'Oh yes, miss, a went out. I stood and see'd un from the top of +the kitchen stairs.' 'You might have opened the door for him, Mrs +Bunce.' 'Indeed then I never thought of it, miss, seeing the house so +empty and the like.' Clara said that it did not signify; and then, +after an hour of composure, she walked back across the park to the +cottage. + +'Well?' said Mrs Askerton as soon as Clara was inside the drawing-room. + +'Well,' replied Clara. + +'What have you got to tell? Do tell me what you have to tell.' + +'I have nothing to tell.' + +'Clara, that is impossible. Have you seen him? I know you have seen +him, because he went by from the house about an hour since.' + +'Oh yes; I have seen him.' + +'And what have you said to him?' + +'Pray do not ask me these questions just now. I have got to think of it +all to think what he did say and what I said.' + +'But you will tell me.' + +'Yes; I suppose so.' Then Mrs Askerton was silent on the subject for +the remainder of the day, allowing Clara even to go to bed without +another question. And nothing was asked on the following morning +nothing till the usual time for the writing of letters. + +'Shall you have anything for the post?' said Mrs Askerton. + +'There is plenty of time yet.' + +'Not too much if you mean to go out at all. Come, Clara, you had better +write to him at once.' + +'Write to whom? I don't know that I have any letter to write at all.' +Then there was a pause. 'As far as I can see,' she said, 'I may give up +writing altogether for the future, unless some day you may care to hear +from me.' + +'But you are not going away.' + +'Not just yet if you will keep me. To tell you the truth, Mrs Askerton, +I do not yet know where on earth to take myself.' + +'Wait here till we turn you out.' + +'I have got to put my house in order. You know what I mean. The job +ought not to be a troublesome one, for it is a very small house.' + +'I suppose I know what you mean.' + +'It will not be a very smart establishment. But I must look it all in +the face; must I not? Though it were to be no house at all, I cannot +stay here all my life.' + +'Yes, you may. You have lost Aylmer Park because you were too noble not +to come to us.' + +'No,' said Clara, speaking aloud, with bright eyes almost with her +hands clenched. 'No I deny that.' + +'I shall choose to think so for my own purposes. Clara, you are savage +to me almost always savage; but next to him I love you better than all +the world beside. And so does he. "It's her courage," he said to me the +other day. "That she should dare to do as she pleases here, is nothing; +but to have dared to persevere in the fangs of that old dragon," it was +just what he said "that was wonderful!"' + +'There is an end of the old dragon now, so far as I am concerned.' + +'Of course there is and of the young dragon too. You wouldn't have had +the heart to keep me in suspense if you had accepted him again. You +couldn't have been so pleasant last night if that had been so.' + +'I did not know I was very pleasant.' + +'Yes, you were. You were soft and gracious gracious for you, at least. +And now, dear, do tell me about it. Of course I am dying to know.' + +'There is nothing to tell.' + +'That is nonsense. There must be a thousand things to tell. At any rate +it is quite decided?' + +'Yes; it is quite decided.' + +'All the dragons, old and young, are banished into outer darkness.' + +'Either that, or else they are to have all the light to themselves.' + +'Such light as glimmers through the gloom of Aylmer Park. And was he +contented? I hope not. I hope you had him on his knees before he left +you.' + +'Why should you hope that? How can you talk such nonsense?' + +'Because I wish that he should recognize what he has lost that he +should know that he has been a fool a mean fool.' + +'Mrs Askerton, I will not have him spoken of like that. He is a man +very estimable of estimable qualities.' + +'Fiddle-de-dee. He is an ape a monkey to be carried on his mother's +organ. His only good quality was that you could have carried him on +yours. I can tell you one thing there is not a woman breathing that +will ever carry William Belton on hers. Whoever his wife may be, she +will have to dance to his piping.' + +'With all my heart and I hope the tunes will be good.' + +'But I wish I could have been present to have heard what passed hidden, +you know, behind a curtain. You won't tell me?' + +'I will tell you not a word more.' + +'Then I will get it out from Mrs Bunce. I'll be bound she was +listening.' + +'Mrs Bunce will have nothing to tell you; I do not know why you should +be so curious.' + +'Answer me one question at least when it came to the last, did he want +to go on with it? Was the final triumph with him or with you?' + +'There was no final triumph. Such things, when they have to end, do not +end triumphantly.' + +'And is that to be all?' 'Yes that is to be all.' + +'And you say that you have no letter to write.' + +'None no letter; none at present; none about this affair. Captain +Aylmer, no doubt, will write to his mother, and then all those who are +concerned will have been told.' + +Clara Amedroz held her purpose and wrote no letter, but Mrs Askerton +was not so discreet, or so indiscreet as the case might be. She did +write not on that day or on the next, but before a week had passed by. +She wrote to Norfolk, telling Clara not a word of her letter, and by +return of post the answer came. But the answer was for Clara, not for +Mrs Askerton, and was as follows: + +'Plaistow Hall, April, 186 + +My dear Clara, + +I don't know whether I ought to tell you but I suppose I may as well +tell you, that Mary has had a letter from Mrs Askerton. It was a kind, +obliging letter, and I am very grateful to her. She has told us that +you have separated yourself altogether from the Aylmer Park people. I +don't suppose you'll think I ought to pretend to be very sorry. I can't +be sorry, even though I know how much you have lost in a worldly point +of view. I could not bring myself to like Captain Aylmer, though I +tried hard.' Oh Mr Belton, Mr Belton! 'He and I never could have been +friends, and it is no use my pretending regret that you have quarrelled +with them. But that, I suppose, is all over, and I will not say a word +more about the Aylmers. + +I am writing now chiefly at Mary's advice, and because she says that +something should be settled about the estate. Of course it is necessary +that you should feel yourself to be the mistress of your own income, +and understand exactly your own position. Mary says that this should be +arranged at once, so that you may be able to decide how and where you +will live. I therefore write to say that I will have nothing to do with +your father's estate at Belton nothing, that is, for myself. I have +written to Mr Green to tell him that you are to be considered as the +heir. If you will allow me to undertake the management of the property +as your agent, I shall be delighted. I think I could do it as well as +any one else: and, as we agreed that we would always be dear and close +friends, I think that you will not refuse me the pleasure of serving +you in this way. + +And now Mary has a proposition to make, as to which she will write +herself tomorrow, but she has permitted me to speak of it first. If you +will accept her as a visitor, she will go to you at Belton. She thinks, +and I think too, that you ought to know each other. I suppose nothing +would make you come here, at present, and therefore she must go to you. +She thinks that all about the estate would be settled more comfortably +if you two were together. At any rate, it would be very nice for her +and I think you would like my sister Mary. She proposes to start about +the 10th of May. I should take her as far as London and see her off, +and she would bring her own maid with her. In this way she thinks that +she would get as far as Taunton very well. She had, perhaps, better +stay there for one night, but that can all be settled if you will say +that you will receive her at the house. + +I cannot finish my letter without saying one word for myself. You know +what my feelings have been, and I think you know that they still are, +and always must be, the same. From almost the first moment that I saw +you I have loved you. When you refused me I was very unhappy; but I +thought I might still have a chance, and therefore I resolved to try +again. Then, when I heard that you were engaged to Captain Aylmer, I +was indeed broken-hearted. Of course I could not be angry with you. I +was not angry, but I was simply broken-hearted. I found that I loved +you so much that I could not make myself happy without you. It was all +of no use, for I knew that you were to be married to Captain Aylmer. I +knew it, or thought that I knew it. There was nothing to be done only I +knew that I was wretched. I suppose it is selfishness, but I felt, and +still feel, that unless I can have you for my wife, I cannot be happy +or car for anything. Now you are free again free, I mean, from Captain +Aylmer and how is it possible that I should not again have a hope? +Nothing but your marriage or death could keep me from hoping. + +I don't know much about the Aylmers. I know nothing of what has made +you quarrel with the people at Aylmer Park nor do I want to know. To me +you are once more that Clara Amedroz with whom I used to walk in Belton +Park, with your hand free to be given wherever your heart can go with +it. While it is free I shall always ask for it. I know that it is in +many ways above my reach. I quite understand that in education and +habits of thinking you are my superior. But nobody can love you better +than I do. I sometimes fancy that nobody could ever love you so well. +Mary thinks that I ought to allow a time to go by before I say all this +again but what is the use of keeping it back? It seems to me to be more +honest to tell you at once that the only thing in the world for which I +care one straw is that you should be my wife. + +Your most affectionate Cousin, + +'WILLIAM BELTON.' + +'Miss Belton is coming here, to the castle, in a fortnight,' said +Clara that morning at breakfast. Both Colonel Askerton and his wife +were in the room, and she was addressing herself chiefly to the former. + +'Indeed, Miss Belton! And is he coming?' said Colonel Askerton. + +'So you have heard from Plaistow?' said Mrs Askerton. + +'Yes in answer to your letter. No, Colonel Askerton, my Cousin William +is not coming. But his sister purposes to be here, and I must go up to +the house and get it ready.' + +'That will do when the time comes,' said Mrs Askerton. + +'I did not mean quite immediately.' + +'And are you to be her guest, or is she to be yours? said Colonel +Askerton. + +'It's her brother's home, and therefore I suppose I must be hers. +Indeed it must be so, as I have no means of entertaining any one,' + +'Something, no doubt, will be settled,' said the colonel. + +'Oh, what a weary word that is,' said Clara; 'weary, at least, for a +woman's ears! It sounds of poverty and dependence, and endless trouble +given to others, and all the miseries of female dependence. If I were a +young man I should be allowed to settle for myself.' + +'There would be no question about the property in that case,' said the +colonel. + +'And there need be no question now,' said Mrs Askerton. + +When the two women were alone together, Clara, of course, scolded her +friend for having written to Norfolk without letting it be known that +she was doing so scolded her, and declared how vain it was for her to +make useless efforts for an unattainable end; but Mrs Askerton always +managed to slip out of these reproaches, neither asserting herself to +be right, nor owning herself to be wrong. 'But you must answer his +letter,' she said. + +'Of course I shall do that.' + +'I wish I knew what he said.' + +'I shan't show it you, if you mean that.' + +'All the same I wish I knew what he said.' + +Clara, of course, did answer the letter; but she wrote her answer to +Mary, sending, however, one little scrap to Mary's brother. She wrote +to Mary at great length, striving to explain, with long and laborious +arguments, that it was quite impossible that she should accept the +Belton estate from her cousin. That subject, however, and the manner of +her future life, she would discuss with her dear Cousin Mary, when Mary +should have arrived. And then Clara said how she would go to Taunton to +meet her cousin, and how she would prepare William's house for the +reception of William's sister; and how she would love her cousin when +she should come to know her. All of which was exceedingly proper and +pretty. Then there was a little postscript, 'Give the enclosed to +William.' And this was the note to William: + +'Dear William, + +Did you not say that you would be my brother? Be my brother always. I +will accept from your hands all that a brother could do; and when that +arrangement is quite fixed, I will love you as much as Mary loves you, +and trust you as completely; and I will be obedient, as a younger +sister should be. + +Your loving Sister, C. A.' + +'It's all no good,' said William Belton, as he crunched the note in +his hand. 'I might as well shoot myself. Get out of the way there, will +you?' And the injured groom scudded across the farm-yard, knowing that +there was something wrong with his master. + + +CHAPTER XXX + +MARY BELTON + +It was about the middle of the pleasant month of May when Clara +Amedroz again made that often repeated journey to Taunton, with the +object of meeting Mary Belton. She had transferred herself and her own +peculiar belongings back from the cottage to the house, and had again +established herself there so that she might welcome her new friend. But +she was not satisfied with simply receiving her guest at Belton, and +therefore she made the journey to Taunton, and settled herself for the +night at the inn. She was careful to get a bedroom for an 'invalid +lady', close to the sitting-room, and before she went down to the +station she saw that the cloth was laid for tea, and that the tea +parlour had been made to look as pleasant as was possible with an inn +parlour. + +She was very nervous as she stood upon the platform waiting for the new +comer to show herself. She knew that Mary was a cripple, but did not +know how far her cousin was disfigured by her infirmity; and when she +saw a pale-faced little woman, somewhat melancholy, but yet pretty +withal, with soft, clear eyes, and only so much appearance of a stoop +as to soften the hearts of those who saw her, Clara was agreeably +surprised, and felt herself to be suddenly relieved of an unpleasant +weight. She could talk to the woman she saw there, as to any other +woman, without the painful necessity of treating her always as an +invalid. 'I think you are Miss Belton?' she said, holding out her hand. +The likeness between Mary and her brother was too great to allow of +Clara being mistaken. + +'And you are Clara Amedroz? It is so good of you to come to meet me!' + +'I thought you would be dull in a strange town by yourself.' + +'It will be much nicer to have you with me.' + +Then they went together up to the inn; and when they had taken their +bonnets off, Mary Belton kissed her cousin. 'You are very nearly what I +fancied you,' said Mary. + +'Am I? I hope you fancied me to be something that you could like.' + +'Something that I could love very dearly. You are a little taller than +what Will said; but then a gentleman is never a judge of a lady's +height. And he said you were thin.' + +'I am not very fat.' + +'No; not very fat; but neither are you thin. Of course, you know, I +have thought a great deal about you. It seems as though you had come to +be so very near to us; and blood is thicker than water, is it not? If +cousins are not friends, who can be?' + +In the course of that evening they became very confidential together, +and Clara thought that she could love Mary Belton better than any woman +that she had ever known. Of course they were talking about William, and +Clara was at first in constant fear lest some word should be said on +her lover's behalf some word which would drive her to declare that she +would not admit him as a lover; but Mary abstained from the subject +with marvellous care and tact. Though she was talking through the whole +evening of her brother, she so spoke of him as almost to make Clara +believe that she could not have heard of that episode in his life. Mrs +Askerton would have dashed at the subject at once; but then, as Clara +told herself, Mary Bolton was better than Mrs Askerton. + +A few words were said about the estate, and they originated in Clara's +declaration that Mary would have to be regarded as the mistress of the +house to which they were going. 'I cannot agree to that,' said Mary. + +'But the house is William's, you know,' said Clara. + +'He says not.' + +'But of course that must be nonsense, Mary.' + +'It is very evident that you know nothing of Plaistow ways, or you +would not say that anything coming from William was nonsense. We are +accustomed to regard all his words as law, and when he says that a +thing is to be so, it always is so.' + +'Then he is a tyrant at home.' + +'A beneficent despot. Some despots, you know, always were beneficent.' + +'He won't have his way in this thing.' + +'I'll leave you and him to fight about that, my dear. I am so +completely under his thumb that I always obey him in everything. You +must not, therefore, expect to range me on your side.' + +The next day they were at Belton Castle, and in a very few hours Clara +felt that she was quite at home with her cousin. On the second day Mrs +Askerton came up and called according to an arrangement to that effect +made between her and Clara. I'll stay away if you like it,' Mrs +Askerton had said. But Clara had urged her to come, arguing with her +that she was foolish to be thinking always of her own misfortune. 'Of +course I am always thinking of it,' she had replied, and always +thinking that other people are thinking of it. Your cousin, Miss +Belton, knows all my history, of course, But what matters? I believe it +would be better that everybody should know it. I suppose she's very +straight-laced and prim.'She is not prim at all,' said Clara. 'Well, +I'll come,' said Mrs Askerton, 'but I shall not be a bit surprised if I +hear that she goes back to Norfolk the next day.' + +So Mrs Askerton came, and Miss Belton did not go back to Norfolk. +Indeed, at the end of the visit, Mrs Askerton had almost taught herself +to believe that William Belton had kept his secret, even from his +sister. 'She's a dear little woman,' Mrs Askerton afterwards said to +Clara. + +'Is she not?' + +'And so thoroughly like a lady.' + +'Yes; I think she is a lady.' + +'A princess among ladies! What a pretty little conscious way she has of +asserting herself when she has an opinion and means to stick to it! I +never saw a woman who got more strength out of her weakness. Who would +dare to contradict her?' + +'But then she knows everything so well,' said Clara. + +'And how like her brother she is!' + +'Yes there is a great family likeness.' + +'And in character, too. I'm sure you'd find, if you were to try her, +that she has all his personal firmness, though she can't show it as he +does by kicking out his feet and clenching his fist.' + +'I'm glad you like her,' said Clara. + +'I do like her very much.' + +'It is so odd the way you have changed. You used to speak of him as +though he was merely a clod of a farmer, and of her as a stupid old +maid. Now, nothing is too good to say of them.' + +'Exactly, my dear and if you do not understand why, you are not so +clever as I take you to be.' + +Life went on very pleasantly with them at Belton for two or three weeks +but with this drawback as regarded Clara, that she had no means of +knowing what was to be the course of her future life. During these +weeks she twice received letters from her Cousin Will, and answered +both of them. But these letters referred to matters of business which +entailed no contradiction to certain details of money due to the estate +before the old squire's death, and to that vexed question of Aunt +Winterfield's legacy, which had by this time drifted into Belton's +hands, and as to which he was inclined to act in accordance with his +cousin's wishes, though he was assured by Mr Green that the legacy was +as good a legacy as had ever been left by an old woman. 'I think,' he +said in his last letter,' that we shall be able to throw him over in +spite of Mr Green.' Clara, as she read this, could not but remember +that the man to be thrown over was the man to whom she had been +engaged, and she could not but remember also all the circumstances of +the intended legacy of her aunt's death, and of the scenes which had +immediately followed her death. It was so odd that William Belton +should now be discussing with her the means of evading all her aunt's +intentions and that he should be doing so, not as her accepted lover. +He had, indeed, called himself her brother, but he was in truth her +rejected lover. + +>From time to time during these weeks Mrs Askerton would ask her +whether Mr Belton was coming to Belton, and Clara would answer her with +perfect truth that she did not believe that he had any such intention. +'But he must come soon,' Mrs Askerton would say. And when Clara would +answer that she knew nothing about it, Mrs Askerton would ask further +questions about Mary Belton. 'Your cousin must know whether her brother +is coming to look after the property?' But Miss Belton, though she +heard constantly from her brother, gave no such intimation. If he had +any intention of coming, she did not speak of it. During all these days +she had not as yet said a word of her brother's love. Though his name +was daily in her mouth and latterly, was frequently mentioned by Clara +there had been no allusion to that still enduring hope of which Will +Belton himself could not but speak when he had any opportunity of +speaking at all. And this continued till at last Clara was driven to +suppose that Mary Belton knew nothing of her brother's hopes. + +But at last there came a change a change which to Clara was as great as +that which had affected her when she first found that her delightful +cousin was not sale against love-making. She had made up her mind that +the sister did not intend to plead for her brother that the sister +probably knew nothing of the brother's necessity for pleading that the +brother probably had no further need for pleading When she remembered +his last passionate words, she could not but accuse herself of +hypocrisy when she allowed place in her thoughts to this latter +supposition. He had been so intently earnest! The nature of the man was +so eager and true! But yet, in spite of all that bad been said, of all +the fire in his eyes, and life in his words, and energy in his actions, +he had at last seen that his aspirations were foolish, and his desires +vain. It could not otherwise be that she and Mary should pass these +hours in such calm repose without an allusion to the disturbing +subject! After this fashion, and with such meditations as these, had +passed by the last weeks and then at last there came the change. + +'I have had a letter from William this morning,' said Mary. + +'And so have not I,' said Clara, and yet I expect to hear from him.' + +'He means to be here soon,' said Mary. + +'Oh, indeed! + +'He speaks of being here next week.' + +For a moment or two Clara had yielded to the agitation caused by her +cousin's tidings; but with a little gush she recovered her presence of +mind, and was able to speak with all the hypocritical propriety of a +female. 'I am glad to hear it,' she said. 'It is only right that he +should come.' + +'He has asked me to say a word to you as to the purport of his journey.' + +Then again Clara's courage and hypocrisy were so far subdued that they +were not able to maintain her in a position adequate to the occasion. +'Well,' she said laughing, 'what is the word? I hope it is not that I +am to pack up, bag and baggage, and take myself elsewhere. Cousin +William is one of those persons who are willing to do everything except +what they are wanted to do. He will go on talking about the Belton +estate, when I want to know whether I may really look for as much as +twelve shillings a week to live upon.' + +'He wants me to speak to you about about the earnest love he bears for +you.' + +'Oh dear! Mary could you not suppose it all to be said? It is an old +trouble, and need not be repeated.' + +'No,' said Mary, 'I cannot suppose it to be all said.' Clara looking up +as she heard the voice, was astonished both by the fire in the woman's +eye and by the force of her tone. 'I will not think so meanly of you as +to believe that such words from such a man can be passed by as meaning +nothing. I will not say that you ought to be able to love him; in that +you cannot control your heart; but if you cannot love him, the want of +such love ought to make you suffer to suffer much and be very sad.' + +'I cannot agree to that, Mary.' + +'Is all his life nothing, then? Do you know what love means with him +this love which he bears to you? Do you understand that it is +everything to him? that from the first moment in which he acknowledged +to himself that his heart was set upon you, he could not bring himself +to set it upon any other thing for a moment? Perhaps you have never +understood this; have never perceived that he is so much in earnest, +that to him it is more than money, or land, or health more than life +itself that he so loves that he would willingly give everything that he +has for his love? Have you known this?' + +Clara would not answer these questions for a while. What if she had +known it all, was she therefore bound to sacrifice herself? Could it be +the duty of any woman to give herself to a man simply because a man +wanted her? That was the argument as it was put forward now by Mary +Belton. + +'Dear, dearest Clara,' said Mary Belton, stretching herself forward +from her chair, and putting out her thin, almost transparent, hand, 'I +do not think that you have thought enough of this; or, perhaps, you +have not known it. But his love for you is as I say. To him it is +everything. It pervades every hour of every day, every corner in his +life! He knows nothing of anything else while he is in his present +state.' + +'He is very good more than good.' + +'He is very good.' + +'But I do not see that that Of course I know how disinterested he is.' + +'Disinterested is a poor word. It insinuates that in such a matter +there could be a question of what people call interest.' + +'And I know, too, how much he honours me.' + +'Honour is a cold word. It is not honour, but love downright true, +honest love. I hope he does honour you. I believe you to be an honest, +true woman; and, as he knows you well, he probably does honour you but +I am speaking of love.' Again Clara was silent. She knew what should be +her argument if she were determined to oppose her cousin's pleadings; +and she knew also she thought she knew that she did intend to oppose +them; but there was a coldness in the argument to which she was averse. +'You cannot be insensible to such love as that!' said Mary, going on +with the cause which she had in hand. + +'You say that he is fond of me.' + +'Fond of you! I have not used such trifling expressions as that.' + +'That he loves me.' + +'You know he loves you. Have you ever doubted a word that he has spoken +to you on any subject?' + +'I believe he speaks truly.' + +'You know he speaks truly. He is the very soul of truth.' + +'But, Mary' + +'Well, Clara! But remember; do not answer me lightly. Do not play with +a man's heart because you have it in your power.' + +'You wrong me. I could never do like that. You tell me that he loves me +but what if I do not love him? Love will not be constrained. Am I to +say that I love him because I believe that he loves me?' + +This was the argument, and Clara found herself driven to use it not so +much from its special applicability to herself, as on account of its +general fitness. Whether it did or did not apply to herself she had no +time to ask herself at that moment; but she felt that no man could have +a right to claim a woman's hand on the strength of his own love unless +he had been able to win her love. She was arguing on behalf of women in +general rather than on her own behalf. + +'If you mean to tell me that you cannot love him, of course I must give +over,' said Mary, not caring at all for men and women in general, but +full of anxiety for her brother. 'Do you mean to say that that you can +never love him?' It almost seemed, from her face, that she was +determined utterly to quarrel with her new-found cousin to quarrel and +to go at once away if she got an answer that would not please her. + +'Dear Mary, do not press me so hard.' + +'But I want to press you hard. It is not right that he should lose his +life in longing and hoping.' + +'He will not lose his life, Mary.' + +'I hope not not not if I can help it. I trust that he will be strong +enough to get rid of his trouble to put it down and trample it under +his feet.' Clara, as she heard this, began to ask herself what it was +that was to be trampled under Will's feet. 'I think he will be man +enough to overcome his passion; and then, perhaps you may regret what +you have lost.' + +'Now you are unkind to me.' + +'Well; what would you have me say? Do I not know that he is offering +you the best gift that he can give? Did I not begin by swearing to you +that he loved you with a passion of love that cannot but be flattering +to you? If it is to be love in vain, this to him is a great misfortune. +And, yet, when I say that I hope that he will recover, you tell me that +I am unkind.' + +'No not for that.' + +'May I tell him to come and plead for himself?' + +Again Clara was silent, not knowing how to answer that last question. +And when she did answer it, she answered it thoughtlessly. 'Of course +he knows that he can do that.' + +'He says that he has been forbidden.' + +'Oh, Mary, what am I to say to you? You know it all, and I wonder that +you can continue to question me in this way.' + +'Know all what?' + +'That I have been engaged to Captain Aylmer.' + +'But you are not engaged to him now.' + +'No I am not.' + +'And there can be no renewal there, I suppose?' + +'Oh, no!' + +'Not even for my brother would I say a word if I thought' + +'No there is nothing of that; but If you cannot understand, I do not +think that I can explain it.' It seemed to Clara that her cousin, in +her anxiety for her brother, did not conceive that a woman, even if she +could suddenly transfer her affections from one man to another, could +not bring herself to say that she had done so. + +'I must write to him today,' said Mary, 'and I must give him some +answer. Shall I tell him that he had better not come here till you are +gone?' + +'That will perhaps be best,' said Clara. + +'Then he will never come at all.' + +'I can go can go at once. I will go at once. You shall never have to +say that my presence prevented his coming to his own house. I ought not +to be here. I know it now. I will go away, and you may tell him that I +am gone.' + +'No, dear; you will not go.' + +'Yes I must go. I fancied things might be otherwise, because he once +told me that he would be a brother to me. And I said I would hold him +to that not only because I want a brother so badly, but because I love +him so dearly. But it cannot be like that.' + +'You do not think that he will ever desert you?' + +'But I will go away, so that he may come to his own house. I ought not +to be here. Of course I ought not to be at Belton either in this house +or in any other. Tell him that I will be gone before he can come, and +tell him also that I will not be too proud to accept from him what it +may be fit that he should give me. I have no one but him no one but him +no one but him.' Then she burst into tears, and throwing hack her head, +covered her face with her hands. + +Miss Belton, upon this, rose slowly from the chair on which she was +sitting, and making her way painfully across to Clara, stood leaning on +the weeping girl's chair. 'You shall not go while I am here,' she said. + +'Yes; I must go. He cannot come till I am gone.' + +'Think of it all once again, Clara. May I not tell him to come, and +that while he is coming you will see if you cannot soften your heart +towards him?' + +'Soften my heart! Oh, if I could only harden it!' + +'He would wait. If you would only hid him wait, he would be so happy in +waiting.' + +'Yes till tomorrow morning. I know him. Hold out your little finger to +him, and he has your whole hand and arm in a moment.' + +'I want you to say that you will try to love him.' + +But Clara was in truth trying not to love him. She was ashamed of +herself because she did love the one man, when, but a few weeks since, +she had confessed that she loved another. She had mistaken herself and +her own feelings, not in reference to her cousin, but in supposing that +she could really have sympathized with such a man as Captain Aylmer. It +was necessary to her self-respect that she should be punished because +of that mistake. She could not save herself from this condemnation she +would not grant herself a respite because, by doing so, she would make +another person happy. Had Captain Aylmer never crossed her path, she +would have given her whole heart to her cousin. Nay; she had so given +it had done so, although Captain Aylmer had crossed her path and come +in her way. But it was matter of shame to her to find that this had +been possible, and she could not bring herself to confess her shame. + +The conversation at last ended, as such conversations always do end, +without any positive decision. Mary wrote of course to her brother, but +Clara was not told of the contents of the letter. We, however, may know +them, and may understand their nature, without learning above two lines +of the letter. 'If you can be content to wait awhile, you will +succeed,' said Mary; 'but when were you ever content to wait for +anything?' ' If there is anything I hate, it is waiting,' said Will, +when he received the letter; nevertheless the letter made him happy, +and he went about his farm with a sanguine heart, as he arranged +matters for another absence. 'Away long?' he said, in answer to a +question asked him by his head man; 'how on earth can I say how long I +shall be away? You can go on well enough without me by this time, I +should think. You will have to learn, for there is no knowing how often +I may be away, or for how long.' + +When Mary said that the letter had been written, Clara again spoke +about going. 'And where will you go?' said Mary. + +'I will take a lodging in Taunton.' + +'He would only follow you there, and there would be more trouble. That +would be all. He must act as your guardian, and in that capacity, at +any rate, you must submit to him.' Clara, therefore, consented to +remain at Belton; but, before Will arrived, she returned from the house +to the cottage. + +'Of course I understand all about it,' said Mrs Askerton; 'and let me +tell you this that if it is not all settled within a week from his +coming here, I shall think that you are without a heart. He is to be +knocked about, and cuffed, and kept from his work, and made to run up +and down between here and Norfolk, because you cannot bring yourself to +confess that you have been a fool.' + +'I have never said that I have not been a fool,' said Clara. + +'You have made a mistake as young women will do sometimes, even when +they are as prudent and circumspect as you are and now you don't quite +like the task of putting it right.' + +It was all true, and Clara knew that it was true. The putting right of +mistakes is never pleasant; and in this case it was so unpleasant that +she could not bring herself to acknowledge that it must be done. And +yet, I think that, by this time, she was aware of the necessity. + + +CHAPTER XXXI + +TAKING POSSESSION + +'I want her to have it all,' said William Belton to Mr Green, the +lawyer, when they came to discuss the necessary arrangements for the +property. + +'But that would be absurd.' + +'Never mind. It is what I wish. I suppose a man may do what he likes +with his own.' + +'She won't take it,' said the lawyer. + +'She must take it, if you manage the matter properly,' said Will. + +'I don't suppose it will make much difference,' said the lawyer 'now +that Captain Aylmer is out of the running.' + +'I know nothing about that. Of course I am very glad that he should be +out of the running, as you call it. He is a bad sort of fellow, and I +didn't want him to have the property. But all that has had nothing to +do with it. I'm not doing it because I think she is ever to be my wife.' + +>From this the reader will understand that Belton was still fidgeting +himself and the lawyer about the estate when he passed through London. +The matter in dispute, however, was so important that he was induced to +seek the advice of others besides Mr Green, and at last was brought to +the conclusion that it was his paramount duty to become Belton of +Belton. There seemed in the minds of all these councillors to be some +imperative and almost imperious requirement that the acres should go +back to a man of his name. Now, as there was no one else of the family +who could stand in his way, he had no alternative but to become Belton +of Belton. He would, however, sell his estate in Norfolk, and raise +money for endowing Clara with commensurate riches. Such was his own +plan but having fallen among counsellors he would not exactly follow +his own plan, and at last submitted to an arrangement in accordance +with which an annuity of eight hundred pounds a year was to be settled +upon Clara, and this was to lie as a charge upon the estate in Norfolk. + +'It seems to me to be very shabby,' said William Belton. + +'It seems to me to be very extravagant,' said the leader among the +counsellors. 'She is net entitled to sixpence.' + +But at last the arrangement as above described was the one to which +they all assented. + +When Belton reached the house which was now his own he found no one +there but his sister. Clara was at the cottage. As he had been told +that she was to return there, he had no reason to be annoyed. But, +nevertheless, he was annoyed, or rather discontented, and had not been +a quarter of an hour about the place before he declared his intention +to go and seek her. + +'Do no such thing, Will; pray do not,' said his sister. + +'And why not?' + +'Because it will be better that you should wait. You will only injure +yourself and her by being impetuous.' + +'But it is absolutely necessary that she should know her own position. +It would be cruelty to keep her in ignorance though for the matter of +that I shall be ashamed to tell her. Yes I shall be ashamed to look her +in the face. What will she think of it after I had assured her that she +should have the whole?' + +'But she would not have taken it, Will. And had she done so, she would +have been very wrong. Now she will be comfortable.' + +'I wish I could be comfortable,' said he. + +'If you will only wait' + +'I hate waiting. I do not see what good it will do. Besides, I don't +mean to say anything about that not today, at least. I don t indeed. As +for being here and not seeing her, that is out of the question. Of +course she would think that I had quarrelled with her, and that I meant +to take everything to myself, now that I have the power.' + +'She won't suspect you of wishing to quarrel with her, Will' + +'I should in her place. It is out of the question that I should be +here, and not go to her. It would be monstrous. I will wait till they +have done lunch, and then I will go up.' + +It was at last decided that he should walk up to the cottage, call upon +Colonel Askerton, and ask to see Clara in the colonel's presence. It +was thought that he could make his statement about the money better +before a third person who could be regarded as Clara's friend, than +could possibly be done between themselves. He did, therefore, walk +across to the cottage, and was shown into Colonel Askerton's study. + +'There he is,' Mrs Askerton said, as soon as she heard the sound of the +bell. 'I knew that he would come at once.' + +During the whole morning Mrs Askerton had been insisting that Belton +would make his appearance on that very day the day of his arrival at +Belton, and Clara had been asserting that he would not do so. + +'Why should he come?' Clara had said. + +'Simply to take you to his own house, like any other of his goods and +chattels.' + +'I am not his goods or his chattels.' + +'But you soon will be; and why shouldn't you accept your lot quietly? +He is Belton of Belton, and everything here belongs to him.' + +'I do not belong to him.' + +'What nonsense! When a man has the command of the situation, as he has, +he can do just what he pleases. If he were to come and carry you off by +violence, I have no doubt the Beltonians would assist him, and say that +he was right. And you of course would forgive him. Belton of Belton may +do anything.' + +'That is nonsense, if you please.' + +'Indeed if you had any of that decent feeling of feminine inferiority +which ought to belong to all women, he would have found you sitting on +the doorstep of his house waiting for him.' + +That had been said early in the morning, when they first knew that he +had arrived; but they had been talking about him ever since talking +about him under pressure from Mrs Askerton, till Clara had been driven +to long that she might be spared. 'If he chooses to come, he will +come,' she said. 'Of course he will come,' Mrs Askerton had answered, +and then they heard the ring of the hell. 'There he is. I could swear +to the sound of his foot. Doesn't he step as though he were Belton of +Belton, and conscious that everything belonged to him?' Then there was +a pause. 'He has been shown in to Colonel Askerton. What on earth could +he want with him?' + +'He has called to tell him something about the cottage,' said Clara, +endeavouring to speak as though she were calm through it all. + +'Cottage! Fiddlestick! The idea of a man coming to look after his +trumpery cottage on the first day of his showing himself as lord of his +own property! Perhaps he is demanding that you shall be delivered up to +him. If he does I shall vote for obeying.' + +'And I for disobeying and shall vote very strongly too.' + +Their suspense was yet prolonged for another ten minutes, and at the +end of that time the servant came in and asked if Miss Amedroz would be +good enough to go into the master's room. 'Mr Belton is there, Fanny?' +asked Mrs Askerton. The girl confessed that Mr Belton was there, and +then Clara, without another word, got up and left the room. She had +much to do in assuming a look of composure before she opened the door; +but she made the effort, and was not unsuccessful. In another second +she found her hand in her cousin's, and his bright eye was fixed upon +her with that eager friendly glance which made his face so pleasant to +those whom he loved. + +'Your cousin has been telling me of the arrangements he has been making +for you with the lawyers,' said Colonel Askerton. 'I can only say that +I wish all the ladies had cousins so liberal, and so able to be +liberal.' + +'I thought I would see Colonel Askerton first, as you are staying at +his house. And as for liberality there is nothing of the kind. You must +understand, Clara, that a fellow can't do what he likes with his own in +this country. I have found myself so bullied by lawyers and that sort +of people, that I have been obliged to yield to them. I wanted that you +should have the old place, to do just what you pleased with It.' + +'That was out of the question, Will.' + +'Of course it was,' said Colonel Askerton. Then, as Belton himself did +not proceed to the telling of his own story, the colonel told it for +him, and explained what was the income which Clara was to receive. + +'But that is as much out of the question,' said she, 'as the other. I +cannot rob you in that way. I cannot and I shall not. And why should I? +What do I want with an income? Something I ought to have, if only for +the credit of the family, and that I am willing to take from your +kindness; but' + +'It's all settled now, Clara.' + +'I don't think that you can lessen the weight of your obligation, Miss +Amedroz, after what has been done up in London,' said the colonel. + +'If you had said a hundred a year' + +'I have been allowed to say nothing,' said Belton; 'those people have +said eight and so it is settled. When are you coming over to see Mary?' + +To this question he got no definite answer, and as he went away +immediately afterwards he hardly seemed to expect one. He did not even +ask for Mrs Askerton, and as that lady remarked, behaved altogether +like a bear. 'But what a munificent bear!' she said. 'Fancy eight +hundred a year of your own. One begins to doubt whether it is worth +one's while to marry at all with such an income as that to do what one +likes with! However, it all means nothing. It will all be his own again +before you have even touched it.' + +'You must not say anything more about that,' said Clara gravely. + +'And why must I not?' + +'Because I shall hear nothing more of it. There is an end of all that +as there ought to be.' + +'Why an end? I don't see an end. There will be no end till Belton of +Belton has got you and your eight hundred a year as well as everything +else.' + +'You will find that he does not mean anything more,' said Clara. + +'You think not?' + +'I am sure of it.' Then there was a little sound in her throat as +though she were in some danger of being choked; but she soon recovered +herself, and was able to express herself clearly. 'I have only one +favour to ask you now, Mrs Askerton, and that is that you will never +say anything more about him. He has changed his mind. Of course he has, +or he would not come here like that and have gone away without saying a +word.' + +'Not a word! A man gives you eight hundred a year and that is not +saying a word!' + +'Not a word except about money! But of course he is right. I know that +he is right. Alter what has passed he would be very wrong to to think +about it any more. You joke about his being Belton of Belton. But it +does make a difference.' + +'It does does it?' + +'It has made a difference. I see and feel it now. I shall never hear +him ask me that question any more.' + +'And if you did hear him, what answer would you make him?' + +'I don't know.' + +'That is just it. Women are so cross-grained that it is a wonder to me +that men should ever have any. thing to do with them. They have about +them some madness of a phantasy which they dignify with the name of +feminine pride, and under the cloak of this they believe themselves to +be justified in tormenting their lovers' lives out. The only +consolation is that they torment themselves as much. Can anything be +more cross-grained than you are at this moment? You were resolved just +now that it would be the most unbecoming thing in the world if he spoke +a word more about his love for the next twelve months' + +'Mrs Askerton, I said nothing about twelve months.' + +'And now you are broken-hearted because he did not blurt it all out +before Colonel Askerton in a business interview, which was very +properly had at once, and in which he has had the exceeding good taste +to confine himself altogether to the one subject.' + +'I am not complaining.' + +'It was good taste; though if he had not been a bear he might have +asked after me, who am fighting his battles for him night and day.' + +'But what will he do next?' + +'Eat his dinner, I should think, as it is now nearly five o'clock. Your +father used always to dine at five.' + +'I can't go to see Mary,' she said, 'till he comes here again.' + +'He will be here fast enough. I shouldn't wonder if he was to come here +tonight.' And he did come again that night. + +When Belton's interview was over in the colonel's study, he left the +house without even asking after the mistress, as that mistress had +taken care to find out and went off, rambling about the estate which +was now his own. It was a beautiful place, and he was not insensible to +the gratification of being its owner. There is much in the glory of +ownership of the ownership of land and houses, of beeves and woolly +flocks, of wide fields and thick-growing woods, even when that +ownership is of late date, when it conveys to the owner nothing but the +realization of a property on the soil; but there is much more in it +when it contains the memories of old years; when the glory is the glory +of race as well as the glory of power and property. There had been +Beltons of Belton living there for many centuries, and now he was the +Belton of the day, standing on his own ground the descendant and +representative of the Beltons of old Belton of Belton without a flaw in +his pedigree! He felt himself to be proud of his position prouder than +he could have been of any other that might have been vouchsafed to him. +And yet amidst it all he was somewhat ashamed of his pride. 'The man +who can do it for himself is the real man after all,' he said. 'But I +have got it by a fluke and by such a sad chance too!' Then he wandered +on, thinking of the circumstances under which the property had fallen +into his hands, and remembering how and when and where the first idea +had occurred to him of making Clara Amedroz his wife. He had then felt +that if he could only do that he could reconcile himself to the +heirship. And the idea had grown upon him instantly, and had become a +passion by the eagerness with which he had welcomed it. From that day +to this he had continued to tell himself that he could not enjoy his +good fortune unless he could enjoy it with her. There had come to be a +horrid impediment in his way a barrier which had seemed to have been +placed there by his evil fortune, to compensate the gifts given to him +by his good fortune, and that barrier had been Captain Aylmer. He had +not, in fact, seen much of his rival, but he had seen enough to make it +matter of wonder to him that Clara could be attached to such a man. He +had thoroughly despised Captain Aylmer, and had longed to show his +contempt of the man by kicking him out of the hotel at the London +railway station. At that moment all the world had seemed to him to be +wrong and wretched. + +But now it seemed that all the world might so easily be made right +again! The impediment had got itself removed. Belton did not even yet +altogether comprehend by what means Clara had escaped from the meshes +of the Aylmer Park people, but he did know that she had escaped. Her +eyes had been opened before it was too late, and she was a free woman +to be compassed if only a man might compass her. While she had been +engaged to Captain Aylmer, Will had felt that she was not assailable. +Though he had not been quite able to restrain himself as on that fatal +occasion when he had taken her in his arms and kissed her still he had +known that as she was an engaged woman, he could not, without insulting +her, press his own suit upon her. But now all that was over. Let him +say what he liked on that head, she would have no proper plea for +anger. She was assailable and, as this was so, why the mischief should +he not set about the work at once? His sister bade him wait. Why should +he wait when one fortunate word might do it? Wait! He could not wait. +How are you to bid a starving man to wait when you put him down at a +well-covered board? Here was he, walking about Belton Park just where +she used to walk with him and there was she at Belton Cottage, within +half an hour of him at this moment, if he were to go quickly; and yet +Mary was telling him to wait! No; he would not wait. There could be no +reason for waiting. Wait, indeed, till some other Captain Aylmer should +come in the way and give him more trouble! + +So he wandered on, resolving that he would see his cousin again that +very day. Such an interview as that which had just taken place between +two such dear friends was not natural was not to be endured. What might +not Clara think of it! To meet her for the first time after her escape +from Aylmer Park, and to speak to her only on matters concerning money! +He would certainly go to her again on that afternoon. In his walking he +came to the bottom of the rising ground on the top of which stood the +rock on which he and Clara had twice sat. But he turned away, and would +not go up to it. He hoped that he might go up to it very soon but, +except under certain dream. stances, he would never go up to it again. + +'I am going across to the cottage immediately after dinner,' he said to +his sister. + +'Have you an appointment?' + +'No; I have no appointment. I suppose a man doesn't want an appointment +to go and see his own cousin down in the country.' + +'I don't know what their habits are.' + +'I shan't ask to go in; but I want to see her.' + +Mary looked at him with loving, sorrowing eyes, but she said no more. +She loved him so well that she would have given her right hand to get +for him what he wanted but she sorrowed to think that he should want +such a thing so sorely. Immediately after his dinner, he took his hat +and went out without saying a word further, and made his way once more +across to the gate of the cottage. It was a lovely summer evening, at +that period of the year in which our summer evenings just begin, when +the air is sweeter and the flowers more fragrant, and the forms of the +foliage more lovely than at any other time. it was now eight o'clock, +but it was hardly as yet evening; none at least of the gloom of evening +had come, though the sun was low in the heavens. At the cottage they +were all sitting out on the lawn; and as Belton came near he was seen +by them, and he saw them. + +'I told you so,' said Mrs Askerton, to Clara, in a whisper. + +'He is not coming in,' Clara answered. 'He is going on.' + +But when he had come nearer, Colonel Askerton called to him over the +garden paling, and asked him to join them. He was now standing within +ten or fifteen yards of them, though the fence divided them. 'I have +come to ask my Cousin Clara to take a walk with me,' he said. 'She can +be back by your tea time.' He made his request very placidly, and did +not in any way look like a lover. + +'I am sure she will be glad to go,' said Mrs Askerton. But Clara said +nothing. + +'Do take a turn with me, if you are not tired,' said he. + +'She has not been out all day, and cannot be tired,' said Mrs Askerton, +who had now walked up to the paling. 'Clara, get your hat. But, Mr +Belton, what have I done that I am to be treated in this way? Perhaps +you don't remember that you have not spoken to me since your arrival.' + +'Upon my word, I beg your pardon,' said he, endeavouring to stretch his +hand across the bushes. + +'I forgot I didn't see you this morning.' + +'I suppose I musn't be angry, as this is your day of taking possession; +but it is exactly on such days as this that one likes to be remembered.' + +'I didn't mean to forget you, Mrs Askerton; I didn't, indeed. And as +for the special day, that's all bosh, you know. I haven't taken +particular possession of anything that I know of.' + +'I hope you will, Mr Belton, before the day is over,' said she. Clara +had at length arisen, and had gone into the house to fetch her hat. She +had not spoken a word, and even yet her cousin did not know whether she +was coming. 'I hope you will take possession of a great deal that is +very valuable. Clara has gone to get her hat.' + +'Do you think she means to walk?' + +'I think she does, Mr Belton. And there she is at the door. Mind you +bring her back to tea.' + +Clara, as she came forth, felt herself quite unable to speak, or walk, +or look after her usual manner. She knew herself to be a victim to be +so far a victim that she could no longer control her own fate. To +Captain Aylmer, at any rate, she had never succumbed. In all her +dealings with him she had fought upon an equal footing. She had never +been compelled to own herself mastered. But now she was being led out +that she might confess her own submission, and acknowledge that +hitherto she had not known what was good for her. She knew that she +would have to yield. She must have known how happy she was to have an +opportunity of yielding; but yet yet, had there been any room for +choice, she thought she would have refrained from walking with her +cousin that evening. She had wept that afternoon because she had +thought that he would not come again; and now that he had come at the +first moment that was possible for him, she was almost tempted to wish +him once more away. + +'I suppose you understand that when I came up this morning I came +merely to talk about business,' said Belton, as soon as they were off +together. + +'It was very good of you to come at all so soon after your arrival.' + +'I told those people in London that I would have it all settled at +once, and so I wanted to have it off my mind.' + +'I don't know what I ought to say to you. Of course I shall not want so +much money as that.' + +'We won't talk about the money any more today. I hate talking about +money.' + +'It is not the pleasantest subject in the world.' + +'No,' said he; 'no indeed. I hate it particularly between friends. So +you have come to grief with your friends, the Aylmers?' + +'I hope I haven't come to grief and the Aylmers, as a family, never +were my friends. I'm obliged to contradict you, point by point you see.' + +'I don't like Captain Aylmer at all,' said Will, after a pause. + +'So I saw, Will; and I dare say he was not very fond of you.' 'Fond of +me! I didn't want him to be fond of me. I don't suppose he ever thought +much about me. I could not help thinking of him.' She had nothing to +say to this, and therefore walked on silently by his side. 'I suppose +he has not any idea of coming back here again?' + +'What; to Belton? No, I do not think he will come to Belton any more.' + +'Nor will you go to Aylmer Park?' + +'No; certainly not. Of all the places on earth. Will, to which you +could send me, Aylmer Park is the one to which I should go most +unwillingly.' + +'I don't want to send you there.' + +'You never could be made to understand what a woman she is; how +disagreeable, how cruel, how imperious, how insolent.' + +'Was she so bad as all that?' + +'Indeed she was, Will. I can't but tell the truth to you. + +'And he was nearly as bad as she.' + +'No, Will; no; do not say that of him.' + +'He was such a quarrelsome fellow. He flew at me just because I said we +had good hunting down in Norfolk.' + +'We need not talk about all that, Will.' + +'No of course not. It's all passed and gone, I suppose.' + +'Yes it is all passed and gone. You did not know my Aunt Winterfield, +or you would understand my first reason for liking him.' + +'No,' said Will; 'I never saw her.' + +Then they walked on together for a while without speaking, and Clara +was beginning to feel some relief some relief at first; but as the +relief came, there came back to her the dead, dull, feeling of +heaviness at her heart which had oppressed her after his visit in the +morning. She had been right, and Mrs Askerton had been wrong. He had +returned to her simply as her cousin, and now he was walking with her +and talking to her in this strain, to teach her that it was so. But of +a sudden they came to a place where two paths diverged, and he turned +upon her and asked her quickly which path they should take. 'Look, +Clara,' he said, 'will you go up there with me?' It did not need that +she should look, as she knew that the way indicated by him led up among +the rocks. + +'I don't much care which way,' she said, faintly. + +'Do you not? But I do. I care very much. Don't you remember where that +path goes?' She had no answer to give to this. She remembered well, and +remembered how he had protested that he would never go to the place +again unless he could go there as her accepted lover. And she had asked +herself sundry questions as to that protestation. Could it be that for +her sake he would abstain from visiting the prettiest spot on his +estate that he would continue to regard the ground as hallowed because +of his memories of her? 'Which way shall we go?' he asked. + +'I suppose it does not much signify,' said she, trembling. + +'But it does signify. It signifies very much to me. Will you go up to +the rocks?' + +'I am afraid we shall be late, if we stay out long.' + +'What matters how late? Will you come?' + +'I suppose so if you wish it, Will.' + +She had anticipated that the high rock was to be the altar at which the +victim was to be sacrificed; but now he would not wait till he had +taken her to the sacred spot. He had of course intended that he would +there renew his offer; but he had perceived that his offer had been +renewed, and had, in fact, been accepted, during this little parley as +to the pathway. There was hardly any necessity for further words. So he +must have thought; for, as quick as lightning, he flung his arms around +her, and kissed her again, as he had kissed her on that other terrible +occasion that occasion on which he had felt that he might hardly hope +for pardon. + +'William, William,' she said; 'how can you serve me like that?' But he +had a full understanding as to his own privileges, and was well aware +that he was in the right now, as he had been before that he was +trespassing egregiously. 'Why are you so rough with me?' she said. + +'Clara, say that you love me.' + +'I will say nothing to you because you are so rough.' They were now +walking up slowly towards the rocks. + +And as he had his arm round her waist, he was contented for awhile to +allow her to walk without speaking. But when they were on the summit it +was necessary for him that he should have a word from her of positive +assurance. 'Clara, say that you love me.' + +'Have I not always loved you, Will, since almost the first moment that +I saw you?' + +'But that won't do. You know that is not fair. Come, Clara; I've had a +deal of trouble and grief too; haven't I? You should say a word to make +up for it that is, if you can say it.' + +'What can a word like that signify to you today? You have got +everything.' + +'Have I got you?' Still she paused. 'I will have an answer. Have I got +you? Are you now my own?' + +'I suppose so, Will. Don't now. I will not have it again. Does not that +satisfy you?' + +'Tell me that you love me.' + +'You know that I love you.' + +'Better than anybody in the world?' + +'Yes better than anybody in the world.' + +'And after all you will be my wife?' + +'Oh, Will how you question one!' + +'You shall say it, and then it will all be fair and honest.' + +'Say what? I'm sure I thought I had said everything.' + +'Say that you mean to be my wife.' + +'I suppose so if you wish it.' + +'Wish it!' said he, getting up from his seat, and throwing his hat into +the bushes on one side; 'wish it! I don't think you have ever +understood howl have wished it. Look here, Clara; I found when I got +down to Norfolk that I couldn't live without you. Upon my word it is +true. I don't suppose you'll believe me.' + +'I didn't think it could be so bad with you as that.' + +'No I don't suppose women ever do believe. And I wouldn't have believed +it of myself. I hated myself for it. By George, I did. That is when I +began to think it was all up with me.' + +'All up with you! Oh, Will!' + +'I had quite made up my mind to go to New Zealand. I had, indeed. I +couldn't have kept my hands off that man if we had been living in the +same country. I should have wrung his neck.' + +'Will, how can you talk so wickedly?' + +'There's no understanding it till you have felt it. But never mind. +It's all right now; isn't it, Clara?' + +'If you think so.' + +'Think so! Oh, Clara, I am such a happy fellow. Do give me a kiss. You +have never given me one kiss yet.' + +'What nonsense! I didn't think you were such a baby.' + +'By George, but you shall or you shall never get home to tea to-night. +My own, own, own darling. Upon my word, Clara, when I begin to think +about it I shall be half mad.' + +'I think you are quite that already.' + +'No, I'm not but I shall be when I'm alone. What can I say to you, +Clara, to make you under. stand how much I love you? You remember the +song, "For Bonnie Annie Laurie I'd lay me down and dee". Of course it +is all nonsense talking of dying for a woman. What a man has to do is +to live for her. But that is my feeling. I'm ready to give you my life. +If there was anything to do for you, I'd do it if I could, whatever it +was. Do you understand me?' + +'Dear Will! Dearest Will!' + +'Am I dearest?' + +'Are you not sure of it?' + +'But I like you to tell me so. I like to feel that you are not ashamed +to own it. You ought to say it a few times to me, as I have said it so +very often to you.' + +'You'll hear enough of it before you've done with me.' + +'I shall never have heard enough of it. Oh, Heavens, only think, when I +was coming down in the train last night I was in such a bad way.' + +'And are you in a good way now?' + +'Yes; in a very good way. I shall crow over Mary so when I get home.' + +'And what has poor Mary done?' + +'Never mind.' + +'I dare say she knows what is good for you better than you know +yourself. I suppose she has told you that you might do a great deal +better than trouble yourself with a wife?' + +'Never mind what she has told me. It is settled now is it not? + +'I hope so, Will.' + +'But not quite settled as yet. When shall it be? That is the next +question.' + +But to that question Clara positively refused to make any reply that +her lover would consider to be satisfactory. He continued to press her +till she was at last driven to remind him how very short a time it was +since her father had been among them; and then he was very angry with +himself, and declared himself to be a brute. 'Anything but that,' she +said. 'You are the kindest and the best of men but at the same time the +most impatient.' + +'That's what Mary says; but what's the good of waiting? She wanted me +to wait today.' + +'And as you would not, you have fallen into a trap out of which you can +never escape. But pray let us go. What will they think of us?' + +'I shouldn't wonder if they didn't think something near the truth.' + +'Whatever they think, we will go back. It is ever so much past nine.' + +'Before you stir, Clara, tell me one thing. Are you really happy?' + +'Very happy.' + +'And are you glad that this has been done?' + +'Very glad. Will that satisfy you?' + +'And you do love me?' + +'I do I do I do. Can I say more than that? + +'More than anybody else in the world?' + +'Better than all the world put together.' + +'Then,' said he, holding her tight in his arms, 'show me that you love +me.' And as he made his request he was quick to explain to her what, +according to his ideas, was the becoming mode by which lovers might +show their love. I wonder whether it ever occurred to Clara, as she +thought of it all before she went to bed that night, that Captain +Aylmer and William Belton were very different in their manners. And if +so, I must wonder further whether she most approved the manners of the +patient man or the man who was impatient. + + +CHAPTER XXXII + +CONCLUSION + +About two months after the scene described in the last chapter, when +the full summer had arrived, Clara received two letters from the two +lovers the history of whose loves have just been told, and these shall +be submitted to the reader, as they will serve to explain the manner in +which the two men proposed to arrange their affairs. We will first have +Captain Aylmer's letter, which was the first read; Clara kept the +latter for the last, as children always keep their sweetest morsels. + +'Aylmer Park, August 188 + +My dear Miss Amedroz, + +I heard before leaving London that you are engaged to marry your cousin +Mr William Belton, and I think that perhaps you may be satisfied to +have a line from me to let you know that I quite approve of the +marriage.' 'I do not care very much for his approval or disapproval,' +said Clara as she read this. 'No doubt it will be the best thing you +can do, especially as it will heal all the sores arising from the +entail.' 'There never was any sore,' said Clara. 'Pray give my +compliments to Mr Belton, and offer him my congratulations, and tell +him that I wish him all happiness in the married state.' 'Married +fiddlestick!' said Clara. In this she was unreasonable; but the +euphonious platitudes of Captain Aylmer were so unlike the vehement +protestations of Mr Belton that she must be excused if by this time she +had come to entertain something of an unreasonable aversion for the +former. + +I hope you will not receive my news with perfect indifference when I +tell you that I also am going to be married. The lady is one whom I +have known for a long time, and have always esteemed very highly. She +is Lady Emily Tagmaggert, the youngest daughter of the Earl of Mull.' +Why Clara should immediately have conceived a feeling of supreme +contempt for Lady Emily Tagmaggert, and assured herself that her +ladyship was a thin, dry, cross old maid with a red nose, I cannot +explain; but I do know that such were her thoughts, almost +instantaneously, in reference to Captain Aylmer's future bride. 'Lady +Emily is a very intimate friend of my sister's; and you, who know how +our family cling together, will feel how thankful I must be when I tell +you that my mother quite approves of the engagement. I suppose we shall +be married early in the spring. We shall probably spend some months +every year at Perivale, and I hope that we may look forward to the +pleasure of seeing you sometimes as a guest beneath our roof.' On +reading this Clara shuddered, and made some inward protestation which +seemed to imply that she had no wish whatever to revisit the dull +streets of the little town with which she had been so well acquainted. +'I hope she'll be good to poor Mr Possit,' said Clara, 'and give him +port wine on Sundays.' + +I have one more thing that I ought to say. You will remember that I +intended to pay my aunt's legacy immediately after her death, but that +I was prevented by circumstances which I could not control. I have paid +it now into Mr Green's hands on your account, together with the sum of +œ59 18s 3d., which is due upon it as interest at the rate of 5 per +cent. I hope that this may be satisfactory.' 'It is not satisfactory at +all,' said Clara, putting down the letter, and resolving that Will +Belton should be instructed to repay the money instantly. It may, +however, be explained here that in this matter Clara was doomed to be +disappointed; and that she was forced, by Mr Green's arguments, to +receive the money. 'Then it shall go to the hospital at Perivale,' she +declared when those arguments were used. As to that, Mr Green was quite +indifferent, but I do not think that the legacy which troubled poor +Aunt Winterfield so much on her dying bed was ultimately applied to so +worthy a purpose. + +And now, my dear Miss Amedroz,' continued the letter, 'I will say +farewell, with many assurances of my unaltered esteem, and with +heartfelt wishes for your future happiness. Believe me to be always, + +Most faithfully and sincerely yours, + +FREDERIC F. AYLMER. + +'Esteem!' said Clara, as she finished the letter. 'I wonder which he +esteems the most, me or Lady Emily Tagmaggert. He will never get beyond +esteem with any one. + +The letter which was last read was as follows: + +Plaistow, August 186 . + +Dearest Clara, + +I don't think I shall ever get done, and I am coming to hate farming. +It is awful lonely here, too, and I pass all my evenings by myself, +wondering why I should be doomed to this kind of thing, while you and +Mary are comfortable together at Belton. We have begun with the wheat, +and as soon as that is safe I shall cut and run. I shall leave the +barley to Bunce. Bunce knows as much about it as I do and as for +remaining here all the summer, it's out of the question. + +My own dear, darling love, of course I don't intend to urge you to do +anything that you don't like; but upon my honour I don't see the force +of what you say. You know I have as much respect for your father's +memory as anybody, but what harm can it do to him that we should be +married at once? Don't you think he would have wished it himself? It +can be ever so quiet. So long as it's done, I don't care a straw how +it's done. Indeed, for the matter of that, I always think it would be +best just to walk to church and to walk home again without saying +anything to anybody. I hate fuss and nonsense, and really I don't think +anybody would have a right to say anything if we were to do it at once +in that sort of way. I have had a bad time of it for the last +twelvemonth. You must allow that, and I think that I ought to be +rewarded. + +As for living, you shall have your choice. Indeed you shall live +anywhere you please at Timbuctoo if you like it. I don't want to give +up Plaistow, because my father and grandfather farmed the land +themselves; but I am quite prepared not to live here. I don't think it +would suit you, because it has so much of the farm-house about it. Only +I should like you sometimes to come and look at the old place. What I +should like would be to pull down the house at Belton and build +another. But you mustn't propose to put it off till that's done, as I +should never have the heart to do it. If you think that would suit you, +I'll make up my mind to live at Belton for a constancy; and then I'd go +in for a lot of cattle, and don't doubt I'd make a fortune. I'm almost +sick of looking at the straight ridges in the big square fields every +day of my life. + +Give my love to Mary. I hope she fights my battle for me. Pray think of +all this, and relent if you can. I do so long to have an end of this +purgatory. If there was any use, I wouldn't say a word; but there's no +good in being tortured, when there is no use. God bless you, dearest +love. I do love you so well! + +Yours most affectionately, + +W. BELTON.' + +She kissed the letter twice, pressed it to her bosom, and then sat +silent for half an hour thinking of it of it, and the man who wrote it, +and of the man who had written the other letter. She could not but +remember how that other man had thought to treat her, when it was his +intention and her intention that they two should join their lots +together how cold he had been; how full of caution and counsel; how he +had preached to her himself and threatened her with the preaching of +his mother; how manifestly he had purposed to make her life a sacrifice +to his life; how he had premeditated her incarceration at Perivale, +while he should be living a bachelor's life in London! Will Belton's +ideas of married life were very different. Only come to me at once now, +immediately, and everything else shall be disposed just as you please. +This was his offer. What he proposed to give or rather his willingness +to be thus generous, was very sweet to her; but it was not half so +sweet as his impatience in demanding his reward. How she doted on him +because he considered his present state to be a purgatory! How could +she refuse anything she could give to one who desired her gifts so +strongly? + +As for her future residence, it would be a matter of indifference to +her where she should live, so long as she might live with him; but for +him she felt that but one spot in the world was fit for him. He was +Belton of Belton, and it would not be becoming that he should live +elsewhere. Of course she would go with him to Plaistow Hall as often as +he might wish it; but Belton Castle should be his permanent +resting-place. It would be her duty to be proud for him, and therefore, +for his sake, she would beg that their home might be in Somersetshire. + +'Mary,' she said to her cousin soon afterwards, 'Will sends his love to +you.' + +'And what else does he say?' + +'I couldn't tell you everything. You shouldn't expect it.' + +'I don't expect it; but perhaps there may be something to be told.' + +'Nothing that I need tell specially. You, who know him so well, can +imagine what he would say.' + +'Dear Will! I am sure he would mean to write what was pleasant.' + +Then the matter would have dropped had Clara been so minded but she, in +truth, was anxious to be forced to talk about the letter. She wished to +be urged by Mary to do that which Will urged her to do or, at least, to +learn whether Mary thought that her brother's wish might be gratified +without impropriety. 'Don't you think we ought to live here?' she said. + +'By all means if you both like it.' + +'He is so good so unselfish, that he will only ask me to do what I like +best.' + +'And which would you like best?' + +'I think he ought to live here because it is the old family property. I +confess that the name goes for something with me. He says that he would +build a new house.' + +'Does he think he could have it ready by the time you are married?' + +'Ah that is just the difficulty. Perhaps, after all, you had better +read his letter. I don't know why I should not show it to you. It will +only tell you what you know already that he is the most generous fellow +in all the world.' Then Mary read the letter. 'What am I to say to +him?' Clara asked. 'It seems so hard to refuse anything to one who is +so true, and good, and generous.' + +'It is hard.' + +'But you see my poor, dear father's death has been so recent.' + +'I hardly know,' said Mary, 'how the world feels about such things.' + +'I think we ought to wait at least twelve months,' said Clara, very +sadly. + +'Poor Will! He will be broken-hearted a dozen times before that. But +then, when his happiness does come, he will be all the happier.' Clara, +when she heard this, almost hated her cousin Mary not for her own sake, +but on Will's account. Will trusted so implicitly to his sister, and +yet she could not make a better fight for him than this! It almost +seemed that Mary was indifferent to her brother's happiness. Had Will +been her brother, Clara thought, and had any girl asked her advice +under similar circumstances, she was sure that she would have answered +in a different way. She would have told such girl that her first duty +was owing to the man who was to be her husband, and would not have said +a word to her about the feeling of the world. After all, what did the +feeling of the world signify to them, who were going to be all the +world to each other? + +On that afternoon she went up to Mrs Askerton's; and succeeded in +getting advice from her also, though she did not show Will's letter to +that lady. 'Of course, I know what he says,' said Mrs Askerton. 'Unless +I have mistaken the man, he wants to be married tomorrow.' + +'He is not so bad as that,' said Clara. + +'Then the next day, or the day after. Of course he is impatient, and +does not see any earthly reason why his impatience should not be +gratified.' + +'He is impatient.' + +'And I suppose you hesitate because of your father's death? + +'It seems but the other day does it not?' said Clara. + +'Everything seems but the other day to me. It was but the other day +that I myself was married.' + +'And, of course, though I would do anything I could that he would ask +me to do' + +'But would you do anything?' + +'Anything that was not wrong I would. Why should I not, when he is so +good to me?' + +'Then write to him, my dear, and tell him that it shall be as he wishes +it. Believe me, the days of Jacob are over. Men don't understand +waiting now, and it's always as well to catch your fish when you can.' + +'You don't suppose I have any thought of that kind?' + +'I am sure you have not and I'm sure that he deserves no such thought +but the higher that are his deserts, the greater should be his reward. +If I were you, I should think of nothing but him, and I should do +exactly as he would have me.' Clara kissed her friend as she parted +from her, and again resolved that all that woman's sins should be +forgiven her. A woman who could give such excellent advice deserved +that every sin should be forgiven her. 'They'll be married yet before +the summer is over,' Mrs Askerton said to her husband that afternoon. +'I believe a man may have anything he chooses to ask for, if he'll only +ask hard enough.' + +And they were married in the autumn, if not actually in the summer. +With what precise words Clara answered her lover's letter I will not +say; but her answer was of such a nature that he found himself +compelled to leave Plaistow, even before the wheat was garnered. Great +confidence was placed in Bunce on that occasion, and I have reason to +believe that it was not misplaced. They were married in September yes, +in September, although that letter of Will's was written in August, and +by the beginning of October they had returned from their wedding trip +to Plaistow. Clara insisted that she should be taken to Plaistow, and +was very anxious when there to learn all the particulars of the farm. +She put down in a little book how many acres there were in each field, +and what was the average produce of the land. She made inquiry about +four-crop rotation, and endeavoured, with Bunce, to go into the great +subject of stall-feeding. But Belton did not give her as much +encouragement as he might have done. 'We'll come here for the shooting +next year,' he said; 'that is, if there is nothing to prevent us.' + +'I hope there'll be nothing to prevent us.' + +'There might be, perhaps; but we'll always come if there is not. For +the rest of it, I'll leave it to Bunce, and just run over once or twice +in the year. It would not be a nice place for you to live at long.' + +'I like it of all things. I am quite interested about the farm.' + +'You'd get very sick of it if you were here in the winter. The truth is +that if you farm well, you must farm ugly. The picturesque nooks and +corners have all to be turned inside out, and the hedgerows must be +abolished, because we want the sunshine. Now, down at Belton, just +above the house, we won't mind farming well, but will stick to the +picturesque.' + +The new house was immediately commenced at Belton, and was made to +proceed with all imaginable alacrity. It was supposed at one time at +least Belton himself said that he so supposed that the building would +be ready for occupation at the end of the first summer; but this was +not found to be possible. 'We must put it off till May, after all,' +said Belton, as he was walking round the unfinished building with +Colonel Askerton. 'It's an awful bore, but there's no getting people +really to pull out in this country.' + +'I think they've pulled out pretty well. Of course you couldn't have +gone into a damp house for the winter.' + +'Other people can get a house built within twelve months. Look what +they do in London.' + +'And other people with their wives and children die in consequence of +colds and sore throats and other evils of that nature. I wouldn't go +into a new house, I know, till I was quite sure it was dry.' + +As Will at this time was hardly ten months married, he was not as yet +justified in thinking about his own wife and children; but he had +already found it expedient to make arrangements for the autumn, which +would prevent that annual visit to Plaistow which Clara had +contemplated, and which he had regarded with his characteristic +prudence as being subject to possible impediments. He was to be absent +himself for the first week in September, but was to return immediately +after that. This he did; and before the end of that month he was +justified in talking of his wife and family. 'I suppose it wouldn't +have done to have been moving now under all the circumstances,' he said +to his friend, Mrs Askerton, as he still grumbled about the unfinished +house. + +'I don't think it would have done at all, under all the circumstances,' +said Mrs Askerton. + +But in the following spring or early summer they did get into the new +house and a very nice house it was, as will, I think, be believed by +those who have known Mr William Belton. And when they were well +settled, at which time little Will Belton was some seven or eight +mouths old little Will, for whom great bonfires had been lit, as though +his birth in those parts was a matter not to be regarded lightly; for +was he not the first Belton of Belton who had been born there for more +than a century? when that time came visitors appeared at the new Belton +Castle, visitors of importance, who were entitled to, and who received, +great consideration. These were no less than Captain Aylmer, Member for +Perivale, and his newly-married bride, Lady Emily Aylmer, n‚e +Tagmaggert. They were then just married, and had come down to Belton +Castle immediately after their honeymoon trip. How it had come to pass +that such friendship had sprung up or rather how it had been revived it +would be bootless here to say. But old affiances, such as that which +had existed between the Aylmer and the Amedroz families, do not allow +themselves to die out easily, and it is well for us all that they +should be long-lived. So Captain Aylmer brought his bride to Belton +Park, and a small fatted calf was killed, and the Askertons came to +dinner on which occasion Captain Aylmer behaved very well, though we +may imagine that he must have had some misgivings on the score of his +young wife. The Askertons came to dinner, and the old rector, and the +squire from a neighbouring parish, and everything was very handsome and +very dull. Captain Aylmer was much pleased with his visit, and declared +to Lady Emily that marriage had greatly improved Mi. William Belton. +Now Will had been very dull the whole evening, and very unlike the +fiery, violent, unreasonable man whom Captain Aylmer remembered to have +met at the station hotel of the Great Northern Railway. + +'I was as sure of it as possible,' Clara said to her husband that night. + +'Sure of what, my dear?' + +'That she would have a red nose.' + +'Who has got a red nose?' + +'Don't be stupid, Will. Who should have it but Lady Emily?' + +'Upon my word I didn't observe it.' + +'You never observe anything, Will; do you? But don't you think she is +very plain?' + +'Upon my word I don't know. She isn't as handsome as some people.' + +'Don't be a fool, Will. How old do you suppose her to be?' 'How old? +Let me see. Thirty, perhaps.' + +'If she's not over forty, I'll consent to change noses with her.' + +'No we won't do that; not if I know it.' + +'I cannot conceive why any man should marry such a woman as that. Not +but what she's a very good woman, I dare say; only what can a man get +by it? To be sure there's the title, if that's worth anything.' But +Will Belton was never good for much conversation at this hour, and was +too fast asleep to make any rejoinder to the last remark. + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, THE BELTON ESTATE *** + +This file should be named beles10.txt or beles10.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, beles11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, beles10a.txt + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we usually do not +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +We are now trying to release all our eBooks one year in advance +of the official release dates, leaving time for better editing. +Please be encouraged to tell us about any error or corrections, +even years after the official publication date. + +Please note neither this listing nor its contents are final til +midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement. +The official release date of all Project Gutenberg eBooks is at +Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month. A +preliminary version may often be posted for suggestion, comment +and editing by those who wish to do so. + +Most people start at our Web sites at: +http://gutenberg.net or +http://promo.net/pg + +These Web sites include award-winning information about Project +Gutenberg, including how to donate, how to help produce our new +eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter (free!). + + +Those of you who want to download any eBook before announcement +can get to them as follows, and just download by date. This is +also a good way to get them instantly upon announcement, as the +indexes our cataloguers produce obviously take a while after an +announcement goes out in the Project Gutenberg Newsletter. + +http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/etext03 or +ftp://ftp.ibiblio.org/pub/docs/books/gutenberg/etext03 + +Or /etext02, 01, 00, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90 + +Just search by the first five letters of the filename you want, +as it appears in our Newsletters. + + +Information about Project Gutenberg (one page) + +We produce about two million dollars for each hour we work. The +time it takes us, a rather conservative estimate, is fifty hours +to get any eBook selected, entered, proofread, edited, copyright +searched and analyzed, the copyright letters written, etc. Our +projected audience is one hundred million readers. If the value +per text is nominally estimated at one dollar then we produce $2 +million dollars per hour in 2002 as we release over 100 new text +files per month: 1240 more eBooks in 2001 for a total of 4000+ +We are already on our way to trying for 2000 more eBooks in 2002 +If they reach just 1-2% of the world's population then the total +will reach over half a trillion eBooks given away by year's end. + +The Goal of Project Gutenberg is to Give Away 1 Trillion eBooks! +This is ten thousand titles each to one hundred million readers, +which is only about 4% of the present number of computer users. + +Here is the briefest record of our progress (* means estimated): + +eBooks Year Month + + 1 1971 July + 10 1991 January + 100 1994 January + 1000 1997 August + 1500 1998 October + 2000 1999 December + 2500 2000 December + 3000 2001 November + 4000 2001 October/November + 6000 2002 December* + 9000 2003 November* +10000 2004 January* + + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been created +to secure a future for Project Gutenberg into the next millennium. + +We need your donations more than ever! + +As of February, 2002, contributions are being solicited from people +and organizations in: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut, +Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, +Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, +Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New +Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, +Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South +Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West +Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. + +We have filed in all 50 states now, but these are the only ones +that have responded. + +As the requirements for other states are met, additions to this list +will be made and fund raising will begin in the additional states. +Please feel free to ask to check the status of your state. + +In answer to various questions we have received on this: + +We are constantly working on finishing the paperwork to legally +request donations in all 50 states. If your state is not listed and +you would like to know if we have added it since the list you have, +just ask. + +While we cannot solicit donations from people in states where we are +not yet registered, we know of no prohibition against accepting +donations from donors in these states who approach us with an offer to +donate. + +International donations are accepted, but we don't know ANYTHING about +how to make them tax-deductible, or even if they CAN be made +deductible, and don't have the staff to handle it even if there are +ways. + +Donations by check or money order may be sent to: + +Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +PMB 113 +1739 University Ave. +Oxford, MS 38655-4109 + +Contact us if you want to arrange for a wire transfer or payment +method other than by check or money order. + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been approved by +the US Internal Revenue Service as a 501(c)(3) organization with EIN +[Employee Identification Number] 64-622154. Donations are +tax-deductible to the maximum extent permitted by law. As fund-raising +requirements for other states are met, additions to this list will be +made and fund-raising will begin in the additional states. + +We need your donations more than ever! + +You can get up to date donation information online at: + +http://www.gutenberg.net/donation.html + + +*** + +If you can't reach Project Gutenberg, +you can always email directly to: + +Michael S. Hart <hart@pobox.com> + +Prof. Hart will answer or forward your message. + +We would prefer to send you information by email. + + +**The Legal Small Print** + + +(Three Pages) + +***START**THE SMALL PRINT!**FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS**START*** +Why is this "Small Print!" statement here? You know: lawyers. +They tell us you might sue us if there is something wrong with +your copy of this eBook, even if you got it for free from +someone other than us, and even if what's wrong is not our +fault. So, among other things, this "Small Print!" statement +disclaims most of our liability to you. It also tells you how +you may distribute copies of this eBook if you want to. + +*BEFORE!* YOU USE OR READ THIS EBOOK +By using or reading any part of this PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm +eBook, you indicate that you understand, agree to and accept +this "Small Print!" statement. If you do not, you can receive +a refund of the money (if any) you paid for this eBook by +sending a request within 30 days of receiving it to the person +you got it from. If you received this eBook on a physical +medium (such as a disk), you must return it with your request. + +ABOUT PROJECT GUTENBERG-TM EBOOKS +This PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook, like most PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBooks, +is a "public domain" work distributed by Professor Michael S. Hart +through the Project Gutenberg Association (the "Project"). +Among other things, this means that no one owns a United States copyright +on or for this work, so the Project (and you!) can copy and +distribute it in the United States without permission and +without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth +below, apply if you wish to copy and distribute this eBook +under the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark. + +Please do not use the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark to market +any commercial products without permission. + +To create these eBooks, the Project expends considerable +efforts to identify, transcribe and proofread public domain +works. Despite these efforts, the Project's eBooks and any +medium they may be on may contain "Defects". Among other +things, Defects may take the form of incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other +intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged +disk or other eBook medium, a computer virus, or computer +codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment. + +LIMITED WARRANTY; DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES +But for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described below, +[1] Michael Hart and the Foundation (and any other party you may +receive this eBook from as a PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook) disclaims +all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including +legal fees, and [2] YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE OR +UNDER STRICT LIABILITY, OR FOR BREACH OF WARRANTY OR CONTRACT, +INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE +OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE +POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. + +If you discover a Defect in this eBook within 90 days of +receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) +you paid for it by sending an explanatory note within that +time to the person you received it from. If you received it +on a physical medium, you must return it with your note, and +such person may choose to alternatively give you a replacement +copy. If you received it electronically, such person may +choose to alternatively give you a second opportunity to +receive it electronically. + +THIS EBOOK IS OTHERWISE PROVIDED TO YOU "AS-IS". NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, ARE MADE TO YOU AS +TO THE EBOOK OR ANY MEDIUM IT MAY BE ON, INCLUDING BUT NOT +LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A +PARTICULAR PURPOSE. + +Some states do not allow disclaimers of implied warranties or +the exclusion or limitation of consequential damages, so the +above disclaimers and exclusions may not apply to you, and you +may have other legal rights. + +INDEMNITY +You will indemnify and hold Michael Hart, the Foundation, +and its trustees and agents, and any volunteers associated +with the production and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm +texts harmless, from all liability, cost and expense, including +legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the +following that you do or cause: [1] distribution of this eBook, +[2] alteration, modification, or addition to the eBook, +or [3] any Defect. + +DISTRIBUTION UNDER "PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm" +You may distribute copies of this eBook electronically, or by +disk, book or any other medium if you either delete this +"Small Print!" and all other references to Project Gutenberg, +or: + +[1] Only give exact copies of it. Among other things, this + requires that you do not remove, alter or modify the + eBook or this "small print!" statement. You may however, + if you wish, distribute this eBook in machine readable + binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form, + including any form resulting from conversion by word + processing or hypertext software, but only so long as + *EITHER*: + + [*] The eBook, when displayed, is clearly readable, and + does *not* contain characters other than those + intended by the author of the work, although tilde + (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may + be used to convey punctuation intended by the + author, and additional characters may be used to + indicate hypertext links; OR + + [*] The eBook may be readily converted by the reader at + no expense into plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent + form by the program that displays the eBook (as is + the case, for instance, with most word processors); + OR + + [*] You provide, or agree to also provide on request at + no additional cost, fee or expense, a copy of the + eBook in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC + or other equivalent proprietary form). + +[2] Honor the eBook refund and replacement provisions of this + "Small Print!" statement. + +[3] Pay a trademark license fee to the Foundation of 20% of the + gross profits you derive calculated using the method you + already use to calculate your applicable taxes. If you + don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are + payable to "Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation" + the 60 days following each date you prepare (or were + legally required to prepare) your annual (or equivalent + periodic) tax return. Please contact us beforehand to + let us know your plans and to work out the details. + +WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? +Project Gutenberg is dedicated to increasing the number of +public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed +in machine readable form. + +The Project gratefully accepts contributions of money, time, +public domain materials, or royalty free copyright licenses. +Money should be paid to the: +"Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +If you are interested in contributing scanning equipment or +software or other items, please contact Michael Hart at: +hart@pobox.com + +[Portions of this eBook's header and trailer may be reprinted only +when distributed free of all fees. Copyright (C) 2001, 2002 by +Michael S. Hart. Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be +used in any sales of Project Gutenberg eBooks or other materials be +they hardware or software or any other related product without +express permission.] + +*END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS*Ver.02/11/02*END* + diff --git a/old/beles10.zip b/old/beles10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..27ce9e9 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/beles10.zip diff --git a/old/beles10.zip.20020407 b/old/beles10.zip.20020407 Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..27ce9e9 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/beles10.zip.20020407 |