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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: A Gleeb for Earth - -Author: Charles Shafhauser - -Release Date: January 7, 2016 [EBook #50869] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A GLEEB FOR EARTH *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="368" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>A Gleeb for Earth</h1> - -<p>By CHARLES SHAFHAUSER</p> - -<p>Illustrated by EMSH</p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Galaxy Science Fiction May 1953.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" width="170" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph3"><i>Not to be or not to not be ... that was the<br /> -not-question for the invader of the not-world.</i></p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>Dear Editor:</p> - - -<p>My 14 year old boy, Ronnie, is typing this letter for me because he -can do it neater and use better grammar. I had to get in touch with -somebody about this because if there is something to it, then somebody, -everybody, is going to point finger at me, Ivan Smernda, and say, "Why -didn't you warn us?"</p> - -<p>I could not go to the police because they are not too friendly to -me because of some of my guests who frankly are stew bums. Also they -might think I was on booze, too, or maybe the hops, and get my license -revoked. I run a strictly legit hotel even though some of my guests -might be down on their luck now and then.</p> - -<p>What really got me mixed up in this was the mysterious disappearance of -two of my guests. They both took a powder last Wednesday morning.</p> - -<p>Now get this. In one room, that of Joe Binkle, which maybe is an alias, -I find nothing but a suit of clothes, some butts and the letters I -include here in same package. Binkle had only one suit. That I know. -And this was it laying right in the middle of the room. Inside the -coat was the vest, inside the vest the shirt, inside the shirt the -underwear. The pants were up in the coat and inside of them was also -the underwear. All this was buttoned up like Binkle had melted out of -it and dripped through a crack in the floor. In a bureau drawer were -the letters I told you about.</p> - -<p>Now. In the room right under Binkle's lived another stew bum that -checked in Thursday ... name Ed Smith, alias maybe, too. This guy was a -real case. He brought with him a big mirror with a heavy bronze frame. -Airloom, he says. He pays a week in advance, staggers up the stairs to -his room with the mirror and that's the last I see of him.</p> - -<p>In Smith's room on Wednesday I find only a suit of clothes, the same -suit he wore when he came in. In the coat the vest, in the vest the -shirt, in the shirt the underwear. Also in the pants. Also all in the -middle of the floor. Against the far wall stands the frame of the -mirror. Only the frame!</p> - -<p>What a spot to be in! Now it might have been a gag. Sometimes these -guys get funny ideas when they are on the stuff. But then I read -the letters. This knocks me for a loop. They are all in different -handwritings. All from different places. Stamps all legit, my kid says. -India, China, England, everywhere.</p> - -<p>My kid, he reads. He says it's no joke. He wants to call the cops or -maybe some doctor. But I say no. He reads your magazine so he says -write to you, send you the letters. You know what to do. Now you have -them. Maybe you print. Whatever you do, Mr. Editor, remember my place, -the Plaza Ritz Arms, is straight establishment. I don't drink. I never -touch junk, not even aspirin.</p> - - -<p class="ph4">Yours very truly,<br /> -Ivan Smernda</p> - - -<hr class="tb" /> - - -<p class="ph4">Bombay, India<br /> -June 8</p> - -<p>Mr. Joe Binkle<br /> -Plaza Ritz Arms<br /> -New York City</p> - -<p>Dear Joe:</p> - - -<p>Greetings, greetings, greetings. Hold firm in your wretched projection, -for tomorrow you will not be alone in the not-world. In two days I, -Glmpauszn, will be born.</p> - -<p>Today I hang in our newly developed not-pod just within the mirror -gateway, torn with the agony that we calculated must go with such -tremendous wavelength fluctuations. I have attuned myself to a fetus -within the body of a not-woman in the not-world. Already I am static -and for hours have looked into this weird extension of the Universe -with fear and trepidation.</p> - -<p>As soon as my stasis was achieved, I tried to contact you, but got -no response. What could have diminished your powers of articulate -wave interaction to make you incapable of receiving my messages and -returning them? My wave went out to yours and found it, barely pulsing -and surrounded with an impregnable chimera.</p> - -<p>Quickly, from the not-world vibrations about you, I learned the -not-knowledge of your location. So I must communicate with you by what -the not-world calls "mail" till we meet. For this purpose I must -utilize the feeble vibrations of various not-people through whose -inadequate articulation I will attempt to make my moves known to you. -Each time I will pick a city other than the one I am in at the time.</p> - -<p>I, Glmpauszn, come equipped with powers evolved from your fragmentary -reports before you ceased to vibrate to us and with a vast treasury -of facts from indirect sources. Soon our tortured people will be free -of the fearsome not-folk and I will be their liberator. You failed in -your task, but I will try to get you off with light punishment when we -return again.</p> - -<p>The hand that writes this letter is that of a boy in the not-city of -Bombay in the not-country of India. He does not know he writes it. -Tomorrow it will be someone else. You must never know of my exact -location, for the not-people might have access to the information.</p> - -<p>I must leave off now because the not-child is about to be born. When it -is alone in the room, it will be spirited away and I will spring from -the pod on the gateway into its crib and will be its exact vibrational -likeness.</p> - -<p>I have tremendous powers. But the not-people must never know I am among -them. This is the only way I could arrive in the room where the gateway -lies without arousing suspicion. I will grow up as the not-child in -order that I might destroy the not-people completely.</p> - -<p>All is well, only they shot this information file into my matrix too -fast. I'm having a hard time sorting facts and make the right decision. -Gezsltrysk, what a task!</p> - -<p>Farewell till later.</p> - - -<p class="ph4">Glmpauszn</p> - - -<hr class="tb" /> - - -<p class="ph4">Wichita, Kansas<br /> -June 13</p> - -<p>Dear Joe:</p> - - -<p>Mnghjkl, fhfjgfhjklop phelnoprausynks. No. When I communicate with you, -I see I must avoid those complexities of procedure for which there are -no terms in this language. There is no way of describing to you in -not-language what I had to go through during the first moments of my -birth.</p> - -<p>Now I know what difficulties you must have had with your limited -equipment. These not-people are unpredictable and strange. Their doctor -came in and weighed me again the day after my birth. Consternation -reigned when it was discovered I was ten pounds heavier. What -difference could it possibly make? Many doctors then came in to see me. -As they arrived hourly, they found me heavier and heavier. Naturally, -since I am growing. This is part of my instructions. My not-mother -(Gezsltrysk!) then burst into tears. The doctors conferred, threw up -their hands and left.</p> - -<p>I learned the following day that the opposite component of my -not-mother, my not-father, had been away riding on some conveyance -during my birth. He was out on ... what did they call it? Oh, yes, a -bender. He did not arrive till three days after I was born.</p> - -<p>When I heard them say that he was straightening up to come see me, I -made a special effort and grew marvelously in one afternoon. I was 36 -not-world inches tall by evening. My not-father entered while I was -standing by the crib examining a syringe the doctor had left behind. -He stopped in his tracks on entering the room and seemed incapable of -speech.</p> - -<p>Dredging into the treasury of knowledge I had come equipped with, I -produced the proper phrase for occasions of this kind in the not-world.</p> - -<p>"Poppa," I said.</p> - -<p>This was the first use I had made of the so-called vocal cords that -are now part of my extended matrix. The sound I emitted sounded -low-pitched, guttural and penetrating even to myself. It must have -jarred on my not-father's ears, for he turned and ran shouting from the -room.</p> - -<p>They apprehended him on the stairs and I heard him babble something -about my being a monster and no child of his. My not-mother appeared at -the doorway and instead of being pleased at the progress of my growth, -she fell down heavily. She made a distinct <i>thump</i> on the floor.</p> - -<p>This brought the rest of them on the run, so I climbed out the window -and retreated across a nearby field. A prolonged search was launched, -but I eluded them. What unpredictable beings!</p> - -<p>I reported my tremendous progress back to our world, including the -cleverness by which I managed to escape my pursuers. I received a reply -from Blgftury which, on careful analysis, seems to be small praise -indeed. In fact, some of his phrases apparently contain veiled threats. -But you know old Blgftury. He wanted to go on this expedition himself -and it's his nature never to flatter anyone.</p> - -<p>From now on I will refer to not-people simply as people, dropping the -qualifying preface except where comparisons must be made between this -alleged world and our own. It is merely an offshoot of our primitive -mythology when this was considered a spirit world, just as these people -refer to our world as never-never land and other anomalies. But we -learned otherwise, while they never have.</p> - -<p>New sensations crowd into my consciousness and I am having a hard -time classifying them. Anyway, I shall carry on swiftly now to the -inevitable climax in which I singlehanded will obliterate the terror of -the not-world and return to our world a hero. I cannot understand your -not replying to my letters. I have given you a box number. What could -have happened to your vibrations?</p> - - -<p class="ph4">Glmpauszn</p> - - -<hr class="tb" /> - - -<p class="ph4">Albuquerque, New Mexico<br /> -June 15</p> - -<p>Dear Joe:</p> - - -<p>I had tremendous difficulty getting a letter off to you this time. -My process—original with myself, by the way—is to send out feeler -vibrations for what these people call the psychic individual. Then I -establish contact with him while he sleeps and compel him without his -knowledge to translate my ideas into written language. He writes my -letter and mails it to you. Of course, he has no awareness of what he -has done.</p> - -<p>My first five tries were unfortunate. Each time I took control of an -individual who could not read or write! Finally I found my man, but -I fear his words are limited. Ah, well. I had great things to tell -you about my progress, but I cannot convey even a hint of how I have -accomplished these miracles through the thick skull of this incompetent.</p> - -<p>In simple terms then: I crept into a cave and slipped into a kind of -sleep, directing my squhjkl ulytz & uhrytzg ... no, it won't come out. -Anyway, I grew overnight to the size of an average person here.</p> - -<p>As I said before, floods of impressions are driving into my xzbyl ... -my brain ... from various nerve and sense areas and I am having a hard -time classifying them. My one idea was to get to a chemist and acquire -the stuff needed for the destruction of these people.</p> - -<p>Sunrise came as I expected. According to my catalog of information, the -impressions aroused by it are of beauty. It took little conditioning -for me finally to react in this manner. This is truly an efficient -mechanism I inhabit.</p> - -<p>I gazed about me at the mixture of lights, forms and impressions. -It was strange and ... now I know ... beautiful. However, I hurried -immediately toward the nearest chemist. At the same time I looked up -and all about me at the beauty.</p> - -<p>Soon an individual approached. I knew what to do from my information. I -simply acted natural. You know, one of your earliest instructions was -to realize that these people see nothing unusual in you if you do not -let yourself believe they do.</p> - -<p>This individual I classified as a female of a singular variety here. -Her hair was short, her upper torso clad in a woolen garment. She -wore ... what are they? ... oh, yes, sneakers. My attention was -diverted by a scream as I passed her. I stopped.</p> - -<p>The woman gesticulated and continued to scream. People hurried from -nearby houses. I linked my hands behind me and watched the scene with -an attitude of mild interest. They weren't interested in me, I told -myself. But they were.</p> - -<p>I became alarmed, dived into a bush and used a mechanism that you -unfortunately do not have—invisibility. I lay there and listened.</p> - -<p>"He was stark naked," the girl with the sneakers said.</p> - -<p>A figure I recognized as a police officer spoke to her.</p> - -<p>"Lizzy, you'll just have to keep these crackpot friends of yours out of -this area."</p> - -<p>"But—"</p> - -<p>"No more buck-bathing, Lizzy," the officer ordered. "No more speeches -in the Square. Not when it results in riots at five in the morning. Now -where is your naked friend? I'm going to make an example of him."</p> - -<p>That was it—I had forgotten clothes. There is only one answer to this -oversight on my part. My mind is confused by the barrage of impressions -that assault it. I must retire now and get them all classified. Beauty, -pain, fear, hate, love, laughter. I don't know one from the other. I -must feel each, become accustomed to it.</p> - -<p>The more I think about it, the more I realize that the information I -have been given is very unrealistic. You have been inefficient, Joe. -What will Blgftury and the others say of this? My great mission is -impaired. Farewell, till I find a more intelligent mind so I can write -you with more enlightenment.</p> - - -<p class="ph4">Glmpauszn</p> - - -<hr class="tb" /> - - -<p class="ph4">Moscow, Idaho<br /> -June 17</p> - -<p>Dear Joe:</p> - - -<p>I received your first communication today. It baffles me. Do you greet -me in the proper fringe-zone manner? No. Do you express joy, hope, -pride, helpfulness at my arrival? No. You ask me for a loan of five -bucks!</p> - -<p>It took me some time, culling my information catalog to come up with -the correct variant of the slang term "buck." Is it possible that you -are powerless even to provide yourself with the wherewithal to live in -this inferior world?</p> - -<p>A reminder, please. You and I—I in particular—are now engaged in -a struggle to free our world from the terrible, maiming intrusions -of this not-world. Through many long gleebs, our people have lived -a semi-terrorized existence while errant vibrations from this world -ripped across the closely joined vibration flux, whose individual -fluctuations make up our sentient population.</p> - -<p>Even our eminent, all-high Frequency himself has often been jeopardized -by these people. The not-world and our world are like two baskets -as you and I see them in our present forms. Baskets woven with the -greatest intricacy, design and color; but baskets whose convex sides -are joined by a thin fringe of filaments. Our world, on the vibrational -plane, extends just a bit into this, the not-world. But being a world -of higher vibration, it is ultimately tenuous to these gross peoples. -While we vibrate only within a restricted plane because of our purer, -more stable existence, these people radiate widely into our world.</p> - -<p>They even send what they call psychic reproductions of their own selves -into ours. And most infamous of all, they sometimes are able to force -some of our individuals over the fringe into their world temporarily, -causing them much agony and fright.</p> - -<p>The latter atrocity is perpetrated through what these people call -mediums, spiritualists and other fatuous names. I intend to visit one -of them at the first opportunity to see for myself.</p> - -<p>Meanwhile, as to you, I would offer a few words of advice. I picked -them up while examining the "slang" portion of my information catalog -which you unfortunately caused me to use. So, for the ultimate -cause—in this, the penultimate adventure, and for the glory and peace -of our world—shake a leg, bub. Straighten up and fly right. In short, -get hep.</p> - -<p>As far as the five bucks is concerned, no dice.</p> - - -<p class="ph4">Glmpauszn</p> - - -<hr class="tb" /> - - -<p class="ph4">Des Moines, Iowa<br /> -June 19</p> - -<p>Dear Joe:</p> - - -<p>Your letter was imponderable till I had thrashed through long passages -in my information catalog that I had never imagined I would need. -Biological functions and bodily processes which are labeled here -"revolting" are used freely in your missive. You can be sure they are -all being forwarded to Blgftury. If I were not involved in the most -important part of my journey—completion of the weapon against the -not-worlders—I would come to New York immediately. You would rue that -day, I assure you.</p> - - -<p class="ph4">Glmpauszn</p> - - -<hr class="tb" /> - - -<p class="ph4">Boise, Idaho<br /> -July 15</p> - -<p>Dear Joe:</p> - - -<p>A great deal has happened to me since I wrote to you last. -Systematically, I have tested each emotion and sensation listed in -our catalog. I have been, as has been said in this world, like a reed -bending before the winds of passion. In fact, I'm rather badly bent -indeed. Ah! You'll pardon me, but I just took time for what is known -quaintly in this tongue as a "hooker of red-eye." Ha! I've mastered -even the vagaries of slang in the not-language.... Ahhh! Pardon me -again. I feel much better now.</p> - -<p>You see, Joe, as I attuned myself to the various impressions that -constantly assaulted my mind through this body, I conditioned myself to -react exactly as our information catalog instructed me to.</p> - -<p>Now it is all automatic, pure reflex. A sensation comes to me when I am -burned; then I experience a burning pain. If the sensation is a tickle, -I experience a tickle.</p> - -<p>This morning I have what is known medically as a syndrome ... a group -of symptoms popularly referred to as a hangover ... Ahhh! Pardon me -again. Strangely ... now what was I saying? Oh, yes. Ha, ha. Strangely -enough, the reactions that come easiest to the people in this world -came most difficult to me. Money-love, for example. It is a great thing -here, both among those who haven't got it and those who have.</p> - -<p>I went out and got plenty of money. I walked invisible into a bank and -carried away piles of it. Then I sat and looked at it. I took the money -to a remote room of the twenty room suite I have rented in the best -hotel here in—no, sorry—and stared at it for hours.</p> - -<p>Nothing happened. I didn't love the stuff or feel one way or the other -about it. Yet all around me people are actually killing one another for -the love of it.</p> - -<p>Anyway.... Ahhh. Pardon me. I got myself enough money to fill ten or -fifteen rooms. By the end of the week I should have all eighteen spare -rooms filled with money. If I don't love it then, I'll feel I have -failed. This alcohol is taking effect now.</p> - -<p>Blgftury has been goading me for reports. To hell with his reports! -I've got a lot more emotions to try, such as romantic love. I've been -studying this phenomenon, along with other racial characteristics of -these people, in the movies. This is the best place to see these -people as they really are. They all go into the movie houses and there -do homage to their own images. Very quaint type of idolatry.</p> - -<p>Love. Ha! What an adventure this is becoming.</p> - -<p>By the way, Joe, I'm forwarding that five dollars. You see, it won't -cost me anything. It'll come out of the pocket of the idiot who's -writing this letter. Pretty shrewd of me, eh?</p> - -<p>I'm going out and look at that money again. I think I'm at last -learning to love it, though not as much as I admire liquor. Well, one -simply must persevere, I always say.</p> - - -<p class="ph4">Glmpauszn</p> - - -<hr class="tb" /> - - -<p class="ph4">Penobscot, Maine<br /> -July 20</p> - -<p>Dear Joe:</p> - - -<p>Now you tell me not to drink alcohol. Why not? You never mentioned it -in any of your vibrations to us, gleebs ago, when you first came across -to this world. It will stint my powers? Nonsense! Already I have had a -quart of the liquid today. I feel wonderful. Get that? I actually feel -wonderful, in spite of this miserable imitation of a body.</p> - -<p>There are long hours during which I am so well-integrated into this -body and this world that I almost consider myself a member of it. Now -I can function efficiently. I sent Blgftury some long reports today -outlining my experiments in the realm of chemistry where we must -finally defeat these people. Of course, I haven't made the experiments -yet, but I will. This is not deceit, merely realistic anticipation of -the inevitable. Anyway, what the old xbyzrt doesn't know won't muss his -vibrations.</p> - -<p>I went to what they call a nightclub here and picked out a -blonde-haired woman, the kind that the books say men prefer. She was -attracted to me instantly. After all, the body I have devised is -perfect in every detail ... actually a not-world ideal.</p> - -<p>I didn't lose any time overwhelming her susceptibilities. I remember -distinctly that just as I stooped to pick up a large roll of money I -had dropped, her eyes met mine and in them I could see her admiration. -We went to my suite and I showed her one of the money rooms. Would you -believe it? She actually took off her shoes and ran around through the -money in her bare feet! Then we kissed.</p> - -<p>Concealed in the dermis of the lips are tiny, highly sensitized nerve -ends which send sensations to the brain. The brain interprets these -impulses in a certain manner. As a result, the fate of secretion in the -adrenals on the ends of the kidneys increases and an enlivening of the -entire endocrine system follows. Thus I felt the beginnings of love.</p> - -<p>I sat her down on a pile of money and kissed her again. Again the -tingling, again the secretion and activation. I integrated myself -quickly.</p> - -<p>Now in all the motion pictures—true representations of life and love -in this world—the man with a lot of money or virtue kisses the girl -and tries to induce her to do something biological. She then refuses. -This pleases both of them, for he wanted her to refuse. She, in turn, -wanted him to want her, but also wanted to prevent him so that he would -have a high opinion of her. Do I make myself clear?</p> - -<p>I kissed the blonde girl and gave her to understand what I then wanted. -Well, you can imagine my surprise when she said yes! So I had failed. I -had not found love.</p> - -<p>I became so abstracted by this problem that the blonde girl fell -asleep. I thoughtfully drank quantities of excellent alcohol called gin -and didn't even notice when the blonde girl left.</p> - -<p>I am now beginning to feel the effects of this alcohol again. Ha. Don't -I wish old Blgftury were here in the vibrational pattern of an olive? -I'd get the blonde in and have her eat him out of a Martini. That is a -gin mixture.</p> - -<p>I think I'll get a hot report off to the old so-and-so right now. It'll -take him a gleeb to figure this one out. I'll tell him I'm setting up -an atomic reactor in the sewage systems here and that all we have to do -is activate it and all the not-people will die of chain asphyxiation.</p> - -<p>Boy, what an easy job this turned out to be. It's just a vacation. Joe, -you old gold-bricker, imagine you here all these gleebs living off the -fat of the land. Yak, yak. Affectionately.</p> - - -<p class="ph4">Glmpauszn</p> - - -<hr class="tb" /> - - -<p class="ph4">Sacramento, Calif.<br /> -July 25</p> - -<p>Dear Joe:</p> - - -<p>All is lost unless we work swiftly. I received your revealing letter -the morning after having a terrible experience of my own. I drank a -lot of gin for two days and then decided to go to one of these seance -things.</p> - -<p>Somewhere along the way I picked up a red-headed girl. When we got -to the darkened seance room, I took the redhead into a corner and -continued my investigations into the realm of love. I failed again -because she said yes immediately.</p> - -<p>The nerves of my dermis were working overtime when suddenly I had the -most frightening experience of my life. Now I know what a horror these -people really are to our world.</p> - -<p>The medium had turned out all the lights. He said there was a strong -psychic influence in the room somewhere. That was me, of course, but I -was too busy with the redhead to notice.</p> - -<p>Anyway, Mrs. Somebody wanted to make contact with her paternal -grandmother, Lucy, from the beyond. The medium went into his act. He -concentrated and sweated and suddenly something began to take form in -the room. The best way to describe it in not-world language is a white, -shapeless cascade of light.</p> - -<p>Mrs. Somebody reared to her feet and screeched, "Grandma Lucy!" Then I -really took notice.</p> - -<p>Grandma Lucy, nothing! This medium had actually brought Blgftury -partially across the vibration barrier. He must have been vibrating in -the fringe area and got caught in the works. Did he look mad! His zyhku -was open and his btgrimms were down.</p> - -<p>Worst of all, he saw me. Looked right at me with an unbelievable -pattern of pain, anger, fear and amazement in his matrix. Me and the -redhead.</p> - -<p>Then comes your letter today telling of the fate that befell you as a -result of drinking alcohol. Our wrenchingly attuned faculties in these -not-world bodies need the loathsome drug to escape from the reality -of not-reality. It's true. I cannot do without it now. The day is only -half over and I have consumed a quart and a half. And it is dulling all -my powers as it has practically obliterated yours. I can't even become -invisible any more.</p> - -<p>I must find the formula that will wipe out the not-world men quickly.</p> - -<p>Quickly!</p> - - -<p class="ph4">Glmpauszn</p> - - -<hr class="tb" /> - - -<p class="ph4">Florence, Italy<br /> -September 10</p> - -<p>Dear Joe:</p> - - -<p>This telepathic control becomes more difficult every time. I must pick -closer points of communication soon. I have nothing to report but -failure. I bought a ton of equipment and went to work on the formula -that is half complete in my instructions. Six of my hotel rooms were -filled with tubes, pipes and apparatus of all kinds.</p> - -<p>I had got my mechanism as close to perfect as possible when I -realized that, in my befuddled condition, I had set off a reaction -that inevitably would result in an explosion. I had to leave there -immediately, but I could not create suspicion. The management was not -aware of the nature of my activities.</p> - -<p>I moved swiftly. I could not afford time to bring my baggage. I -stuffed as much money into my pockets as I could and then sauntered -into the hotel lobby. Assuming my most casual air, I told the manager -I was checking out. Naturally he was stunned since I was his best -customer.</p> - -<p>"But why, sir?" he asked plaintively.</p> - -<p>I was baffled. What could I tell him?</p> - -<p>"Don't you like the rooms?" he persisted. "Isn't the service good?"</p> - -<p>"It's the rooms," I told him. "They're—they're—"</p> - -<p>"They're what?" he wanted to know.</p> - -<p>"They're not safe."</p> - -<p>"Not safe? But that is ridiculous. This hotel is...."</p> - -<p>At this point the blast came. My nerves were a wreck from the alcohol.</p> - -<p>"See?" I screamed. "Not safe. I knew they were going to blow up!"</p> - -<p>He stood paralyzed as I ran from the lobby. Oh, well, never say die. -Another day, another hotel. I swear I'm even beginning to think like -the not-men, curse them.</p> - - -<p class="ph4">Glmpauszn</p> - - -<hr class="tb" /> - - -<p class="ph4">Rochester, New York<br /> -September 25</p> - -<p>Dear Joe:</p> - - -<p>I have it! It is done! In spite of the alcohol, in spite of Blgftury's -niggling criticism, I have succeeded. I now have developed a form -of mold, somewhat similar to the antibiotics of this world, that, -transmitted to the human organism, will cause a disease whose end will -be swift and fatal.</p> - -<p>First the brain will dissolve and then the body will fall apart. -Nothing in this world can stop the spread of it once it is loose. -Absolutely nothing.</p> - -<p>We must use care. Stock in as much gin as you are able. I will bring -with me all that I can. Meanwhile I must return to my original place of -birth into this world of horrors. There I will secure the gateway, a -large mirror, the vibrational point at which we shall meet and slowly -climb the frequency scale to emerge into our own beautiful, now secure -world. You and I together, Joe, conquerors, liberators.</p> - -<p>You say you eat little and drink as much as you can. The same with -me. Even in this revolting world I am a sad sight. My not-world senses -falter. This is the last letter. Tomorrow I come with the gateway. When -the gin is gone, we will plant the mold in the hotel where you live.</p> - -<p>In only a single gleeb it will begin to work. The men of this queer -world will be no more. But we can't say we didn't have some fun, can -we, Joe?</p> - -<p>And just let Blgftury make one crack. Just one xyzprlt. I'll have -hgutry before the ghjdksla!</p> - - -<p class="ph4">Glmpauszn</p> - - -<hr class="tb" /> - - -<p>Dear Editor:</p> - - -<p>These guys might be queer drunk hopheads. But if not? If soon brain -dissolve, body fall apart, how long have we got? Please, anybody who -knows answer, write to me—Ivan Smernda, Plaza Ritz Arms—how long is a -gleeb?</p> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Gleeb for Earth, by Charles Shafhauser - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A GLEEB FOR EARTH *** - -***** This file should be named 50869-h.htm or 50869-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/0/8/6/50869/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: A Gleeb for Earth - -Author: Charles Shafhauser - -Release Date: January 7, 2016 [EBook #50869] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A GLEEB FOR EARTH *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - A Gleeb for Earth - - By CHARLES SHAFHAUSER - - Illustrated by EMSH - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Galaxy Science Fiction May 1953. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - - - - Not to be or not to not be ... that was the - not-question for the invader of the not-world. - - -Dear Editor: - -My 14 year old boy, Ronnie, is typing this letter for me because he -can do it neater and use better grammar. I had to get in touch with -somebody about this because if there is something to it, then somebody, -everybody, is going to point finger at me, Ivan Smernda, and say, "Why -didn't you warn us?" - -I could not go to the police because they are not too friendly to -me because of some of my guests who frankly are stew bums. Also they -might think I was on booze, too, or maybe the hops, and get my license -revoked. I run a strictly legit hotel even though some of my guests -might be down on their luck now and then. - -What really got me mixed up in this was the mysterious disappearance of -two of my guests. They both took a powder last Wednesday morning. - -Now get this. In one room, that of Joe Binkle, which maybe is an alias, -I find nothing but a suit of clothes, some butts and the letters I -include here in same package. Binkle had only one suit. That I know. -And this was it laying right in the middle of the room. Inside the -coat was the vest, inside the vest the shirt, inside the shirt the -underwear. The pants were up in the coat and inside of them was also -the underwear. All this was buttoned up like Binkle had melted out of -it and dripped through a crack in the floor. In a bureau drawer were -the letters I told you about. - -Now. In the room right under Binkle's lived another stew bum that -checked in Thursday ... name Ed Smith, alias maybe, too. This guy was a -real case. He brought with him a big mirror with a heavy bronze frame. -Airloom, he says. He pays a week in advance, staggers up the stairs to -his room with the mirror and that's the last I see of him. - -In Smith's room on Wednesday I find only a suit of clothes, the same -suit he wore when he came in. In the coat the vest, in the vest the -shirt, in the shirt the underwear. Also in the pants. Also all in the -middle of the floor. Against the far wall stands the frame of the -mirror. Only the frame! - -What a spot to be in! Now it might have been a gag. Sometimes these -guys get funny ideas when they are on the stuff. But then I read -the letters. This knocks me for a loop. They are all in different -handwritings. All from different places. Stamps all legit, my kid says. -India, China, England, everywhere. - -My kid, he reads. He says it's no joke. He wants to call the cops or -maybe some doctor. But I say no. He reads your magazine so he says -write to you, send you the letters. You know what to do. Now you have -them. Maybe you print. Whatever you do, Mr. Editor, remember my place, -the Plaza Ritz Arms, is straight establishment. I don't drink. I never -touch junk, not even aspirin. - - Yours very truly, - Ivan Smernda - - * * * * * - - Bombay, India - June 8 - - Mr. Joe Binkle - Plaza Ritz Arms - New York City - - -Dear Joe: - -Greetings, greetings, greetings. Hold firm in your wretched projection, -for tomorrow you will not be alone in the not-world. In two days I, -Glmpauszn, will be born. - -Today I hang in our newly developed not-pod just within the mirror -gateway, torn with the agony that we calculated must go with such -tremendous wavelength fluctuations. I have attuned myself to a fetus -within the body of a not-woman in the not-world. Already I am static -and for hours have looked into this weird extension of the Universe -with fear and trepidation. - -As soon as my stasis was achieved, I tried to contact you, but got -no response. What could have diminished your powers of articulate -wave interaction to make you incapable of receiving my messages and -returning them? My wave went out to yours and found it, barely pulsing -and surrounded with an impregnable chimera. - -Quickly, from the not-world vibrations about you, I learned the -not-knowledge of your location. So I must communicate with you by what -the not-world calls "mail" till we meet. For this purpose I must -utilize the feeble vibrations of various not-people through whose -inadequate articulation I will attempt to make my moves known to you. -Each time I will pick a city other than the one I am in at the time. - -I, Glmpauszn, come equipped with powers evolved from your fragmentary -reports before you ceased to vibrate to us and with a vast treasury -of facts from indirect sources. Soon our tortured people will be free -of the fearsome not-folk and I will be their liberator. You failed in -your task, but I will try to get you off with light punishment when we -return again. - -The hand that writes this letter is that of a boy in the not-city of -Bombay in the not-country of India. He does not know he writes it. -Tomorrow it will be someone else. You must never know of my exact -location, for the not-people might have access to the information. - -I must leave off now because the not-child is about to be born. When it -is alone in the room, it will be spirited away and I will spring from -the pod on the gateway into its crib and will be its exact vibrational -likeness. - -I have tremendous powers. But the not-people must never know I am among -them. This is the only way I could arrive in the room where the gateway -lies without arousing suspicion. I will grow up as the not-child in -order that I might destroy the not-people completely. - -All is well, only they shot this information file into my matrix too -fast. I'm having a hard time sorting facts and make the right decision. -Gezsltrysk, what a task! - -Farewell till later. - -Glmpauszn - - * * * * * - - Wichita, Kansas - June 13 - -Dear Joe: - - -Mnghjkl, fhfjgfhjklop phelnoprausynks. No. When I communicate with you, -I see I must avoid those complexities of procedure for which there are -no terms in this language. There is no way of describing to you in -not-language what I had to go through during the first moments of my -birth. - -Now I know what difficulties you must have had with your limited -equipment. These not-people are unpredictable and strange. Their doctor -came in and weighed me again the day after my birth. Consternation -reigned when it was discovered I was ten pounds heavier. What -difference could it possibly make? Many doctors then came in to see me. -As they arrived hourly, they found me heavier and heavier. Naturally, -since I am growing. This is part of my instructions. My not-mother -(Gezsltrysk!) then burst into tears. The doctors conferred, threw up -their hands and left. - -I learned the following day that the opposite component of my -not-mother, my not-father, had been away riding on some conveyance -during my birth. He was out on ... what did they call it? Oh, yes, a -bender. He did not arrive till three days after I was born. - -When I heard them say that he was straightening up to come see me, I -made a special effort and grew marvelously in one afternoon. I was 36 -not-world inches tall by evening. My not-father entered while I was -standing by the crib examining a syringe the doctor had left behind. -He stopped in his tracks on entering the room and seemed incapable of -speech. - -Dredging into the treasury of knowledge I had come equipped with, I -produced the proper phrase for occasions of this kind in the not-world. - -"Poppa," I said. - -This was the first use I had made of the so-called vocal cords that -are now part of my extended matrix. The sound I emitted sounded -low-pitched, guttural and penetrating even to myself. It must have -jarred on my not-father's ears, for he turned and ran shouting from the -room. - -They apprehended him on the stairs and I heard him babble something -about my being a monster and no child of his. My not-mother appeared at -the doorway and instead of being pleased at the progress of my growth, -she fell down heavily. She made a distinct _thump_ on the floor. - -This brought the rest of them on the run, so I climbed out the window -and retreated across a nearby field. A prolonged search was launched, -but I eluded them. What unpredictable beings! - -I reported my tremendous progress back to our world, including the -cleverness by which I managed to escape my pursuers. I received a reply -from Blgftury which, on careful analysis, seems to be small praise -indeed. In fact, some of his phrases apparently contain veiled threats. -But you know old Blgftury. He wanted to go on this expedition himself -and it's his nature never to flatter anyone. - -From now on I will refer to not-people simply as people, dropping the -qualifying preface except where comparisons must be made between this -alleged world and our own. It is merely an offshoot of our primitive -mythology when this was considered a spirit world, just as these people -refer to our world as never-never land and other anomalies. But we -learned otherwise, while they never have. - -New sensations crowd into my consciousness and I am having a hard -time classifying them. Anyway, I shall carry on swiftly now to the -inevitable climax in which I singlehanded will obliterate the terror of -the not-world and return to our world a hero. I cannot understand your -not replying to my letters. I have given you a box number. What could -have happened to your vibrations? - -Glmpauszn - - * * * * * - - Albuquerque, New Mexico - June 15 - - -Dear Joe: - -I had tremendous difficulty getting a letter off to you this time. -My process--original with myself, by the way--is to send out feeler -vibrations for what these people call the psychic individual. Then I -establish contact with him while he sleeps and compel him without his -knowledge to translate my ideas into written language. He writes my -letter and mails it to you. Of course, he has no awareness of what he -has done. - -My first five tries were unfortunate. Each time I took control of an -individual who could not read or write! Finally I found my man, but -I fear his words are limited. Ah, well. I had great things to tell -you about my progress, but I cannot convey even a hint of how I have -accomplished these miracles through the thick skull of this incompetent. - -In simple terms then: I crept into a cave and slipped into a kind of -sleep, directing my squhjkl ulytz & uhrytzg ... no, it won't come out. -Anyway, I grew overnight to the size of an average person here. - -As I said before, floods of impressions are driving into my xzbyl ... -my brain ... from various nerve and sense areas and I am having a hard -time classifying them. My one idea was to get to a chemist and acquire -the stuff needed for the destruction of these people. - -Sunrise came as I expected. According to my catalog of information, the -impressions aroused by it are of beauty. It took little conditioning -for me finally to react in this manner. This is truly an efficient -mechanism I inhabit. - -I gazed about me at the mixture of lights, forms and impressions. -It was strange and ... now I know ... beautiful. However, I hurried -immediately toward the nearest chemist. At the same time I looked up -and all about me at the beauty. - -Soon an individual approached. I knew what to do from my information. I -simply acted natural. You know, one of your earliest instructions was -to realize that these people see nothing unusual in you if you do not -let yourself believe they do. - -This individual I classified as a female of a singular variety here. -Her hair was short, her upper torso clad in a woolen garment. She -wore ... what are they? ... oh, yes, sneakers. My attention was -diverted by a scream as I passed her. I stopped. - -The woman gesticulated and continued to scream. People hurried from -nearby houses. I linked my hands behind me and watched the scene with -an attitude of mild interest. They weren't interested in me, I told -myself. But they were. - -I became alarmed, dived into a bush and used a mechanism that you -unfortunately do not have--invisibility. I lay there and listened. - -"He was stark naked," the girl with the sneakers said. - -A figure I recognized as a police officer spoke to her. - -"Lizzy, you'll just have to keep these crackpot friends of yours out of -this area." - -"But--" - -"No more buck-bathing, Lizzy," the officer ordered. "No more speeches -in the Square. Not when it results in riots at five in the morning. Now -where is your naked friend? I'm going to make an example of him." - -That was it--I had forgotten clothes. There is only one answer to this -oversight on my part. My mind is confused by the barrage of impressions -that assault it. I must retire now and get them all classified. Beauty, -pain, fear, hate, love, laughter. I don't know one from the other. I -must feel each, become accustomed to it. - -The more I think about it, the more I realize that the information I -have been given is very unrealistic. You have been inefficient, Joe. -What will Blgftury and the others say of this? My great mission is -impaired. Farewell, till I find a more intelligent mind so I can write -you with more enlightenment. - -Glmpauszn - - * * * * * - - Moscow, Idaho - June 17 - - -Dear Joe: - -I received your first communication today. It baffles me. Do you greet -me in the proper fringe-zone manner? No. Do you express joy, hope, -pride, helpfulness at my arrival? No. You ask me for a loan of five -bucks! - -It took me some time, culling my information catalog to come up with -the correct variant of the slang term "buck." Is it possible that you -are powerless even to provide yourself with the wherewithal to live in -this inferior world? - -A reminder, please. You and I--I in particular--are now engaged in -a struggle to free our world from the terrible, maiming intrusions -of this not-world. Through many long gleebs, our people have lived -a semi-terrorized existence while errant vibrations from this world -ripped across the closely joined vibration flux, whose individual -fluctuations make up our sentient population. - -Even our eminent, all-high Frequency himself has often been jeopardized -by these people. The not-world and our world are like two baskets -as you and I see them in our present forms. Baskets woven with the -greatest intricacy, design and color; but baskets whose convex sides -are joined by a thin fringe of filaments. Our world, on the vibrational -plane, extends just a bit into this, the not-world. But being a world -of higher vibration, it is ultimately tenuous to these gross peoples. -While we vibrate only within a restricted plane because of our purer, -more stable existence, these people radiate widely into our world. - -They even send what they call psychic reproductions of their own selves -into ours. And most infamous of all, they sometimes are able to force -some of our individuals over the fringe into their world temporarily, -causing them much agony and fright. - -The latter atrocity is perpetrated through what these people call -mediums, spiritualists and other fatuous names. I intend to visit one -of them at the first opportunity to see for myself. - -Meanwhile, as to you, I would offer a few words of advice. I picked -them up while examining the "slang" portion of my information catalog -which you unfortunately caused me to use. So, for the ultimate -cause--in this, the penultimate adventure, and for the glory and peace -of our world--shake a leg, bub. Straighten up and fly right. In short, -get hep. - -As far as the five bucks is concerned, no dice. - -Glmpauszn - - * * * * * - - Des Moines, Iowa - June 19 - - -Dear Joe: - -Your letter was imponderable till I had thrashed through long passages -in my information catalog that I had never imagined I would need. -Biological functions and bodily processes which are labeled here -"revolting" are used freely in your missive. You can be sure they are -all being forwarded to Blgftury. If I were not involved in the most -important part of my journey--completion of the weapon against the -not-worlders--I would come to New York immediately. You would rue that -day, I assure you. - -Glmpauszn - - * * * * * - - Boise, Idaho - July 15 - - -Dear Joe: - -A great deal has happened to me since I wrote to you last. -Systematically, I have tested each emotion and sensation listed in -our catalog. I have been, as has been said in this world, like a reed -bending before the winds of passion. In fact, I'm rather badly bent -indeed. Ah! You'll pardon me, but I just took time for what is known -quaintly in this tongue as a "hooker of red-eye." Ha! I've mastered -even the vagaries of slang in the not-language.... Ahhh! Pardon me -again. I feel much better now. - -You see, Joe, as I attuned myself to the various impressions that -constantly assaulted my mind through this body, I conditioned myself to -react exactly as our information catalog instructed me to. - -Now it is all automatic, pure reflex. A sensation comes to me when I am -burned; then I experience a burning pain. If the sensation is a tickle, -I experience a tickle. - -This morning I have what is known medically as a syndrome ... a group -of symptoms popularly referred to as a hangover ... Ahhh! Pardon me -again. Strangely ... now what was I saying? Oh, yes. Ha, ha. Strangely -enough, the reactions that come easiest to the people in this world -came most difficult to me. Money-love, for example. It is a great thing -here, both among those who haven't got it and those who have. - -I went out and got plenty of money. I walked invisible into a bank and -carried away piles of it. Then I sat and looked at it. I took the money -to a remote room of the twenty room suite I have rented in the best -hotel here in--no, sorry--and stared at it for hours. - -Nothing happened. I didn't love the stuff or feel one way or the other -about it. Yet all around me people are actually killing one another for -the love of it. - -Anyway.... Ahhh. Pardon me. I got myself enough money to fill ten or -fifteen rooms. By the end of the week I should have all eighteen spare -rooms filled with money. If I don't love it then, I'll feel I have -failed. This alcohol is taking effect now. - -Blgftury has been goading me for reports. To hell with his reports! -I've got a lot more emotions to try, such as romantic love. I've been -studying this phenomenon, along with other racial characteristics of -these people, in the movies. This is the best place to see these -people as they really are. They all go into the movie houses and there -do homage to their own images. Very quaint type of idolatry. - -Love. Ha! What an adventure this is becoming. - -By the way, Joe, I'm forwarding that five dollars. You see, it won't -cost me anything. It'll come out of the pocket of the idiot who's -writing this letter. Pretty shrewd of me, eh? - -I'm going out and look at that money again. I think I'm at last -learning to love it, though not as much as I admire liquor. Well, one -simply must persevere, I always say. - -Glmpauszn - - * * * * * - - Penobscot, Maine - July 20 - - -Dear Joe: - -Now you tell me not to drink alcohol. Why not? You never mentioned it -in any of your vibrations to us, gleebs ago, when you first came across -to this world. It will stint my powers? Nonsense! Already I have had a -quart of the liquid today. I feel wonderful. Get that? I actually feel -wonderful, in spite of this miserable imitation of a body. - -There are long hours during which I am so well-integrated into this -body and this world that I almost consider myself a member of it. Now -I can function efficiently. I sent Blgftury some long reports today -outlining my experiments in the realm of chemistry where we must -finally defeat these people. Of course, I haven't made the experiments -yet, but I will. This is not deceit, merely realistic anticipation of -the inevitable. Anyway, what the old xbyzrt doesn't know won't muss his -vibrations. - -I went to what they call a nightclub here and picked out a -blonde-haired woman, the kind that the books say men prefer. She was -attracted to me instantly. After all, the body I have devised is -perfect in every detail ... actually a not-world ideal. - -I didn't lose any time overwhelming her susceptibilities. I remember -distinctly that just as I stooped to pick up a large roll of money I -had dropped, her eyes met mine and in them I could see her admiration. -We went to my suite and I showed her one of the money rooms. Would you -believe it? She actually took off her shoes and ran around through the -money in her bare feet! Then we kissed. - -Concealed in the dermis of the lips are tiny, highly sensitized nerve -ends which send sensations to the brain. The brain interprets these -impulses in a certain manner. As a result, the fate of secretion in the -adrenals on the ends of the kidneys increases and an enlivening of the -entire endocrine system follows. Thus I felt the beginnings of love. - -I sat her down on a pile of money and kissed her again. Again the -tingling, again the secretion and activation. I integrated myself -quickly. - -Now in all the motion pictures--true representations of life and love -in this world--the man with a lot of money or virtue kisses the girl -and tries to induce her to do something biological. She then refuses. -This pleases both of them, for he wanted her to refuse. She, in turn, -wanted him to want her, but also wanted to prevent him so that he would -have a high opinion of her. Do I make myself clear? - -I kissed the blonde girl and gave her to understand what I then wanted. -Well, you can imagine my surprise when she said yes! So I had failed. I -had not found love. - -I became so abstracted by this problem that the blonde girl fell -asleep. I thoughtfully drank quantities of excellent alcohol called gin -and didn't even notice when the blonde girl left. - -I am now beginning to feel the effects of this alcohol again. Ha. Don't -I wish old Blgftury were here in the vibrational pattern of an olive? -I'd get the blonde in and have her eat him out of a Martini. That is a -gin mixture. - -I think I'll get a hot report off to the old so-and-so right now. It'll -take him a gleeb to figure this one out. I'll tell him I'm setting up -an atomic reactor in the sewage systems here and that all we have to do -is activate it and all the not-people will die of chain asphyxiation. - -Boy, what an easy job this turned out to be. It's just a vacation. Joe, -you old gold-bricker, imagine you here all these gleebs living off the -fat of the land. Yak, yak. Affectionately. - -Glmpauszn - - * * * * * - - Sacramento, Calif. - July 25 - - -Dear Joe: - -All is lost unless we work swiftly. I received your revealing letter -the morning after having a terrible experience of my own. I drank a -lot of gin for two days and then decided to go to one of these seance -things. - -Somewhere along the way I picked up a red-headed girl. When we got -to the darkened seance room, I took the redhead into a corner and -continued my investigations into the realm of love. I failed again -because she said yes immediately. - -The nerves of my dermis were working overtime when suddenly I had the -most frightening experience of my life. Now I know what a horror these -people really are to our world. - -The medium had turned out all the lights. He said there was a strong -psychic influence in the room somewhere. That was me, of course, but I -was too busy with the redhead to notice. - -Anyway, Mrs. Somebody wanted to make contact with her paternal -grandmother, Lucy, from the beyond. The medium went into his act. He -concentrated and sweated and suddenly something began to take form in -the room. The best way to describe it in not-world language is a white, -shapeless cascade of light. - -Mrs. Somebody reared to her feet and screeched, "Grandma Lucy!" Then I -really took notice. - -Grandma Lucy, nothing! This medium had actually brought Blgftury -partially across the vibration barrier. He must have been vibrating in -the fringe area and got caught in the works. Did he look mad! His zyhku -was open and his btgrimms were down. - -Worst of all, he saw me. Looked right at me with an unbelievable -pattern of pain, anger, fear and amazement in his matrix. Me and the -redhead. - -Then comes your letter today telling of the fate that befell you as a -result of drinking alcohol. Our wrenchingly attuned faculties in these -not-world bodies need the loathsome drug to escape from the reality -of not-reality. It's true. I cannot do without it now. The day is only -half over and I have consumed a quart and a half. And it is dulling all -my powers as it has practically obliterated yours. I can't even become -invisible any more. - -I must find the formula that will wipe out the not-world men quickly. - -Quickly! - -Glmpauszn - - * * * * * - - Florence, Italy - September 10 - - -Dear Joe: - -This telepathic control becomes more difficult every time. I must pick -closer points of communication soon. I have nothing to report but -failure. I bought a ton of equipment and went to work on the formula -that is half complete in my instructions. Six of my hotel rooms were -filled with tubes, pipes and apparatus of all kinds. - -I had got my mechanism as close to perfect as possible when I -realized that, in my befuddled condition, I had set off a reaction -that inevitably would result in an explosion. I had to leave there -immediately, but I could not create suspicion. The management was not -aware of the nature of my activities. - -I moved swiftly. I could not afford time to bring my baggage. I -stuffed as much money into my pockets as I could and then sauntered -into the hotel lobby. Assuming my most casual air, I told the manager -I was checking out. Naturally he was stunned since I was his best -customer. - -"But why, sir?" he asked plaintively. - -I was baffled. What could I tell him? - -"Don't you like the rooms?" he persisted. "Isn't the service good?" - -"It's the rooms," I told him. "They're--they're--" - -"They're what?" he wanted to know. - -"They're not safe." - -"Not safe? But that is ridiculous. This hotel is...." - -At this point the blast came. My nerves were a wreck from the alcohol. - -"See?" I screamed. "Not safe. I knew they were going to blow up!" - -He stood paralyzed as I ran from the lobby. Oh, well, never say die. -Another day, another hotel. I swear I'm even beginning to think like -the not-men, curse them. - -Glmpauszn - - * * * * * - - Rochester, New York - September 25 - - -Dear Joe: - -I have it! It is done! In spite of the alcohol, in spite of Blgftury's -niggling criticism, I have succeeded. I now have developed a form -of mold, somewhat similar to the antibiotics of this world, that, -transmitted to the human organism, will cause a disease whose end will -be swift and fatal. - -First the brain will dissolve and then the body will fall apart. -Nothing in this world can stop the spread of it once it is loose. -Absolutely nothing. - -We must use care. Stock in as much gin as you are able. I will bring -with me all that I can. Meanwhile I must return to my original place of -birth into this world of horrors. There I will secure the gateway, a -large mirror, the vibrational point at which we shall meet and slowly -climb the frequency scale to emerge into our own beautiful, now secure -world. You and I together, Joe, conquerors, liberators. - -You say you eat little and drink as much as you can. The same with -me. Even in this revolting world I am a sad sight. My not-world senses -falter. This is the last letter. Tomorrow I come with the gateway. When -the gin is gone, we will plant the mold in the hotel where you live. - -In only a single gleeb it will begin to work. The men of this queer -world will be no more. But we can't say we didn't have some fun, can -we, Joe? - -And just let Blgftury make one crack. Just one xyzprlt. I'll have -hgutry before the ghjdksla! - -Glmpauszn - - * * * * * - -Dear Editor: - -These guys might be queer drunk hopheads. But if not? If soon brain -dissolve, body fall apart, how long have we got? Please, anybody who -knows answer, write to me--Ivan Smernda, Plaza Ritz Arms--how long is a -gleeb? - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Gleeb for Earth, by Charles Shafhauser - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A GLEEB FOR EARTH *** - -***** This file should be named 50869.txt or 50869.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/0/8/6/50869/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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