diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'old/52665-0.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | old/52665-0.txt | 1875 |
1 files changed, 0 insertions, 1875 deletions
diff --git a/old/52665-0.txt b/old/52665-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 4bbfc8b..0000000 --- a/old/52665-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1875 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Boston Dip, by George M. Baker - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: The Boston Dip - A Comedy, in One Act - -Author: George M. Baker - -Release Date: July 28, 2016 [EBook #52665] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BOSTON DIP *** - - - - -Produced by David Edwards and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - [Illustration: book cover] - - - - - ALL THE WORLD’S A STAGE. - - - THE - AMATEUR - DRAMA. - - -------------- - - THE - BOSTON DIP - - - - - BOSTON: - GEO. M. BAKER & CO. - 149 Washington Street. - - KILBURN & MALLORY, SC. - - Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1873 - by GEORGE M. BAKER, in the Office of the - Libraries of Congress, at Washington. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - THE BOSTON DIP. - - A Comedy, in One Act. - - BY THE AUTHOR OF - - “Sylvia’s Soldier,” - “Once on a Time,” “Down by the Sea,” “The Last Loaf,” - “Bread on the Waters,” “Stand by the Flag,” “The Tempter,” “A Drop too - Much,” “We’re all Teetotalers,” “A Little more Cider,” “Thirty Minutes - for Refreshments,” “Wanted, a Male Cook,” “A Sea of Troubles,” - “Freedom of the Press,” “A Close Shave,” “The Great - Elixir,” “The Man with the Demijohn,” “Humors of - the Strike,” “New Brooms sweep Clean,” “My - Uncle the Captain,” “The Greatest Plague - in Life,” “No Cure, no Pay,” “The - Grecian Bend,” “A War of the - Roses,” “Lightheart’s - Pilgrimage,” - “The - Sculptor’s - Triumph,” “Too - Late for the Train,” - “Snow-Bound,” “The Peddler - of Very Nice,” “Bonbons,” - “Capuletta,” “An Original Idea,” “My - Brother’s Keeper,” “Among the Breakers,” - “The Boston Dip,” “The Duchess of Dublin,” “A - Tender Attachment,” “Gentlemen of the Jury,” “A Public - Benefactor,” “The Thief of Time,” “The Hypochondriac,” “The - Runaways,” “Coals of Fire,” “The Red Chignon,” “Using the Weed,” - “A Love of a Bonnet,” “A Precious Pickle,” “The Revolt - of the Bees,” “The Seven Ages,” - &c., &c., &c. - - - BOSTON: - GEORGE M. BAKER & CO., - 149 WASHINGTON STREET. - - - - - Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1873 by - GEORGE M. BAKER, - In the Office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington. - - - - - _Rand, Avery, & Frye, Printers, Boston._ - - - - - THE BOSTON DIP. - - A COMEDIETTA, IN ONE ACT. - - - - - CHARACTERS. - - - MR. MOSES MULLIGRUB, once Proprietor of a Fish-cart, now a - rich Speculator. - - MONSIEUR ADONIS, a Dancing-Master. - - MR. RICHARD DASHER, a Fast Man. - - MR. LAVENDER KIDS, an Exquisite. - - MRS. MOSES MULLIGRUB. - - MISS IDA MULLIGRUB. - - MISS EVA MULLIGRUB. - - - - - COSTUMES - - - Full Evening Dress. - - - - -SCENE.— - - -_Handsome drawing room in_ MONSIEUR ADONIS’S _Academy. Entrances_, R., - L., _and_ C. _Lounges,_ R. _and_ L. _Screen,_ L. _corner, back. Two - chairs,_ R. _and_ L. _of door in flat_. - -_Music, as curtain rises, Straus’s waltz, “Beautiful Blue Danube.”_ MISS - IDA _and_ MISS EVA _discovered waltzing, introducing “The Boston Dip.” - They waltz a few moments, then stop. Music ceases._ - -_Ida._ Now, isn’t that delightful? - -_Eva._ Delightful! It’s positively bewitching. Bless that dear Monsieur -Adonis. He deserves a crown of roses for introducing to his assembly the -latest Terpsichorean novelty. O, we shall have a splendid time to-night! - -_Ida._ Especially as those charming waltzers, Messrs. Richard Dasher and -Lavender Kids, “the glass of fashion and the mould of form,” are to -honor us with their presence. - -_Eva._ Yes, indeed. What would the dance be without them? - -_Ida._ Not worth the trouble of dressing. But don’t you think that Mr. -Dasher is a little too attentive to Miss Eva Mulligrub,—eh, sister? - -_Eva._ Not more attentive, certainly, than is Mr. Lavender Kids to her -charming sister, Miss Ida Mulligrub.—Eh, sister? - -_Ida._ But seriously, Eva, I begin to think that you are carrying this -matter a little too far. Mr. Dasher might reasonably expect, from the -partiality you unhesitatingly show for his society, and the smiles you -bestow upon him, to be considered your lover. - -_Eva._ You begin to think. Why, bless you, Ida, I’ve thought and thought -and thought, for a long time, that were I Mr. Lavender Kids, I should -pop the question at once, so undeniably entranced are you by his -attentions. - -_Ida._ Eva! - -_Eva._ Ida! - -_Ida._ You’re talking nonsense. - -_Eva._ Well, you began it. - -_Ida._ But you know you like Mr. Dasher. - -_Eva._ To be sure I do. He’s the best waltzer in the city. Graceful, -agreeable, and decidedly good-looking. - -_Ida._ And you would marry him? - -_Eva._ Not unless he asked me, and then— - -_Ida._ And then— - -_Eva._ I should remember that he is considered a fortune-hunter, that he -is too fond of horses, that possibly he might have an eye on father’s -bank-book, that I don’t want such a husband, and should very sweetly, -calmly, but decidedly say, No, thank you, Mr. Dasher. - -_Ida._ Exactly what I should say to Mr. Kids, without the sweetness and -calmness. - -_Eva._ I hope we shall not have the chance, for then, of course, we -should lose their society—and they are such superb waltzers. - -_Ida._ But what in the world could have possessed mother to have us come -so early. Hurry, girls, hurry! And here we are before the hall is -lighted. - -_Eva._ I’m sure I don’t know. It’s one of her whims. One would hardly -think that, at her age, she would care for dancing. - -_Ida._ But she does. I caught her to-day attempting a waltz before the -glass in her room; and such work as she did make of it! - -_Eva._ She’s not very nimble with her weight of years and flesh, but she -would come to-night, and without father, too. - -_Ida._ Catch him in such a place! No doubt he’s already snoring at home -in his easy-chair, speculating on corner lots in his dreams. - -_Eva._ Better that than the old life, dragging a handcart through the -streets, and shouting, “Cod! haddock! halibut! eel—eel—eel—eels!” - -_Ida._ Why, Eva, don’t speak of that; and such a noise, too. - -_Eva._ Who cares. Everybody knows what we once were, and I, for one, am -not going to be ashamed of father’s old occupation. He has made money in -an honest way: so let us have no false pride, Ida. “Cod! haddock! -halibut! eel—eel—eel—eels!” - - _Enter_ MRS. MULLIGRUB, C. - -_Mrs. M._ Well, I never! Eva Mulligrub, I’m blushing with shame, -petrified with mortification, and stunned with grief, to hear such words -as those proceeding from your lips. I never heard such language before, -never. - -_Eva._ Why, mother! And I’ve heard father say those very words brought -you to the window many a time when he passed; that they were the bait by -which you were caught, and that you were the best catch he ever made. - -_Mrs. M._ Fiddle-de-de! That’s his twaddle. We’re above such language -now. But come, girls, fix me up! I’m all coming to pieces. Is that -what’s-its-name behind all right, and this thingumbob on my neck, and -the what-you-may-call-it on top of my head? Dear me, I’m all in a -pucker. - -_Ida._ Everything about your dress is charming, mother. - -_Mrs. M._ Well, I’m glad on’t. Now girls, look here, I’ve made an -assignment with Munseer What’s-his-name to-night. - -_Eva._ A what? - -_Ida._ Assignment? You mean an appointment. - -_Mrs. M._ Well, it’s all the same. I’m going to learn to do that dipper -thing, if I die for it. - -_Eva._ I don’t understand. - -_Ida._ She means The Boston Dip. - -_Mrs. M._ That’s it—where you go tipping about, while the fiddlers play -Struse’s Beautiful Blue Dan-_u_-by. - -_Eva._ You, mother, learn to waltz! - -_Mrs. M._ And why not? There’s Mrs. What’s-her-name gets through it, and -she’s older and heavier than I. I’m going to learn it. What’s the use of -having money if you can’t spin round like other folks. But don’t say a -word to your father. Bless me, how he would roar! But he’s safe at home, -snoozing in his chair by this time. I’ve arranged it all. I’ve engaged -this drawing-room for my own party, and when you’re all dancing in the -hall, Muns_ee_r A—A—what’s-his-name will slip in here, and practice the -waltz with me, and nobody will know anything about it until I’m -deficient. - -_Ida._ Proficient, mother. - -_Mrs. M._ Well, what’s the difference? It’s all arranged. I’m not going -to make a fool of myself before folks when I can pay for private -lessons. - - DASHER _appears,_ C. - -_Dasher_ (_loud_). Eureka! - -_Mrs. M._ (_starting_). Good gracious! You what? - -_Dasher._ “Fortune favors the brave.” Like Cæsar, I came, I saw, and I’m -overcome. May I come in? - -_Mrs. M._ Certainly, Mr. Dasher. Your presence always adds a charm to -our—what’s-its-name—circular. - -_Ida._ Circle, mother. - -_Mrs. M._ Well, what’s the odds? - -_Dasher._ Thank you, Mrs. Mulligrub. You are arrayed like an empress; -Miss Ida, your costume is only eclipsed by your charming face; Miss Eva— - -_Eva._ “Last but not least in our dear love,” must of course be divine; -so spare my blushes and your breath. (_Sits on lounge_, R.) - -_Dasher._ Thank you. And now congratulate me. I threw down my pen, after -a hard fight with figures, to seek the lonely recesses of my bachelor’s -quarters, heartily sick of life, when it suddenly occurred to me that -this evening Monsieur Adonis gives one of his charming assemblies. -Perhaps, thought I, there I may find rest for my weary brain from the -figures of the ledger, which are dancing in my head, in the figures of -the dance. But did I dream of falling into such charming society? No; -most emphatically and decidedly, no. Therefore, like Cæsar— - -_Mrs. M._ And pray, Mr. Dasher, who is this Cæsar you’re making such a -fuss about? - -_Ida._ Why, mother! - -_Mrs. M._ La, child, there’s nobody of that name I’m acquainted with. - -_Ida._ You know, mother, Cæsar was the great Roman general, who— - -_Mrs. M._ La, yes; Mr. Dasher was only speaking metagorically. Cæsar was -the man who crossed the what’s-its-name, and was stabbed by a brute. - -_Eva._ Never mind Cæsar. Here’s my card, Mr. Dasher. Of course your name -will be the first I shall allow upon it. - -_Dasher_ (_sits on lounge beside_ EVA). Am I to be so highly honored. -(_Takes card._) - -_Eva._ For a waltz, and only one. - -_Mrs. M._ La, child, don’t be so unscrupulous. You’ll dance till you -drop if you get a chance. - -_Ida._ Hush, mother. - -_Mrs. M._ Now what’s the matter with you? Mr. What’s-his-name will dance -with you, too. Don’t be so anxious. - -_Ida._ O, dear, was there ever such a torment. (_Sits on lounge_, L.) - - _Enter_ KIDS, C. - -_Kids_ (_with glass to his eye_). Now, weally! Have I stumbled into the -bodwaw of a bevy of enchanting goddesses?—have I, weally? - -_Ida._ O, Mr. Kids! - -_Eva._ You have, weally, Mr. Kids. - -_Dasher._ Lavender, my boy, how are you? - -_Kids._ And will the divine goddesses permit me to entaw, to disturb -their tableaw of beauty with my horwid figgaw? - -_Eva._ Yes, trot your horwid figgaw in, Mr. Kids. - -_Mrs. M._ Eva, I’m astonished at such language as those. Mr. Kids, we -are delighted to see you. - -_Ida._ Yes, indeed, Mr. Kids. I’ve kept my card for you. - -_Kids._ Divine creachaw, you overpowaw me—you do, weally. (_Sits on -lounge beside_ IDA, _and takes her card._) Just one waltz? - -_Eva._ As many as you please, Mr. Kids. - -_Mrs. M._ Now that’s what I call generous. I wonder where Mr.—no, -Muns_ee_r—Adonis can be. (_Retires up._) - -_Eva._ Mr. Dasher, how can you tell such falsehoods, when you know, that -I know, that you know, we were to be here to-night. - -_Dasher._ What a knowing young lady. It’s one of the frailties of -masculine nature, Miss Eva. I’m glad I was not George Washington, for I -should certainly have spoiled that hatchet story by a lie. Now I am -here, dear Miss Eva, overpowered with the burden of a weighty secret, I -am going to disclose it. I—I— - -_Kids._ I say, Dashaw, I’ve had my bwains surveyed to-day. - -_Dasher._ Have you? I didn’t know you had any. - -_Kids._ Yaas, several. Destwuctiveness, combativeness, idolitwy— - -_Dasher._ Ideality. - -_Kids._ Yaas, it’s vewry wemarkable how those phwenological fellaws lay -out your bwains, and name them just like—aw—stweets. - -_Dasher_ (_aside_). They must have labeled some of yours “No -Thoroughfare.” - -_Eva._ O, don’t talk about brains, Mr. Kids. The discussion of such a -subject might fly to your head. - -_Dasher._ And so light is the material there, cause a conflagration. - -_Kids._ Yaas, yaas, like a Mansard woof. And, Dashaw, I’ve got a -diwectory of my bwains, and it’s deucedly clevaw; for if an ideah gets -into my bwains, I can trace it out in the diwectory, and tell just where -it lies, you know, and know just where to find it. Deuced clevaw. - -_Dasher_ (_aside_). ’Twould die of starvation before you found it. - -_Mrs. M._ (_comes down_). Ah, here’s Munseer Adonis at last! - - _Enter_ MONSIEUR ADONIS, R. - -_Mons. A._ _Charmant, charmant_, leedies and gentimen, I kees your -hands. You do me proud. I feel ze glow of satisfaction in ze inermost -inside of zis bosom, when you do me ze _grande honneur_ to grace my -salon wiz your presence. I feel ze glow all ovar. - -_Mrs. M._ O, Munseer Adonis! - -_Eva._ Politest of Frenchmen. - -_Ida._ Paragon of dancing-masters. - -_Mons. A._ Pardon me, _charmant_ medmoiselles and adorable madam, if ze -modest blush of shame paint my cheek wiz ze hues of ze roses. I am ze -humble instrument of ze divine art which gives ze grace to ze figure, -and ze airy lightness to ze beautiful toes of madam and ze _charmant_ -medmoiselles. - -_Eva._ Now, Munseer Adonis, we are all impatience. When will the dance -begin? - -_Mons. A._ On ze instant. Ze company have assemble in ze grande salon. -When madam and her friends make ze grande entrée, zen will ze music -strike ze signal. - -_Ida._ We are all ready. - -_Mrs. M._ Munseer Adonis, one word with you. - -_Mons. A._ Wiz ze uttermost pleasure. Am I not ze slave of ze matchless -madam (_aside_) and her money. (_They retire up stage, and converse._) - -_Dasher._ Miss Eva, I must have an interview with you this evening. I -have much to say. Meet me here in half an hour. - -_Eva._ Certainly. I’ll slip away at the first opportunity. - -_Dasher._ Thank you. The first dance is mine, you remember. - -_Kids._ Aw, Miss Ida, I must speak with you alone; I must, weally. -There’s something on my bwain—no—on my bweast, that must be welieved. -Don’t go. Stay behind with me. - -_Ida._ And lose the first dance?—No, indeed. - -_Kids._ Weally, I couldn’t ask that. Couldn’t you contwive to meet me -here alone? - -_Ida._ At the first opportunity. I’ll do my best. (_Rises._) Eva, one -moment. - -_Eva_ (_rises and comes,_ C.). Well, dear? - -_Ida._ Don’t you think, Mr. Kids wants me to meet him here alone. - -_Eva._ Does he? The same thought must have wandered into his bwain that -crept into Mr. Dasher’s, for he expects me to meet him here alone. - -_Ida._ Do you know what it all means? - -_Eva._ Certainly—proposals. - -_Ida._ And will you permit Mr. Dasher— - -_Eva._ No, indeed. Marry that fickle thing? Never! - -_Ida._ Exactly my mind. Mr. Kid’s a fool. - -_Eva._ But, like Mr. Dasher, a splendid waltzer. We cannot afford to -lose them. - -_Ida._ Indeed we cannot. Partners are so scarce. - -_Eva._ They want father’s money. - -_Ida._ But they must not have his daughters. - -_Eva._ No, indeed. You watch me, and I’ll watch you, and there’ll be no -proposals. (_Retire to_ R. _and_ L. MONSIEUR ADONIS _and_ MRS. MULLIGRUB -_come down stage._) - -_Mrs. M._ And you got my note, Munseer Adonis? - -_Mons. A._ Ah, madam, I have it next my heart. (_Produces an envelope, -opens it, takes out note, puts envelope in his pocket. Reads._) “Meet me -in the private drawing-room when ze company are waltzing. Do not fail -me. Hannah Mulligrub.” Zat is all it say. - -_Mrs. M._ But you know what it means. I am anxious to learn “The Boston -Dip.” Were I to come to your school I should be laughed at, but here, -while the company are waltzing, no one would know it, and the inspiring -music would aid me. I don’t want to make a fool of myself, you -understand. - -_Mons. A._ Certainly. All zat I shall remember. I have written on ze -back of ze note “Boston Dip.” I put him in ze pocket wiz my -handkerchief, so zat when I pull him out to wipe my face ze note will -arrest my attention, and I shall fly to you, madam. (_Puts note and -handkerchief in his pocket._) - -_Mrs. M._ O, you Frenchmen are so inveterate. - -_Dasher._ Come, Monsieur Adonis, the dance, the dance! I’m all -impatience (_aside to_ EVA) for its end. - -_Kids._ Weally, the delay is vexatious; it is, weally. (_Aside to_ IDA.) -Meet me here, you know. - -_Mons. A._ Pardon me, I am all impatience. _Charmant_, madam, shall I -have ze pleasure. (_Offers his arm to_ MRS. MULLIGRUB.) Ze night is ver -warm, ver warm. (_Music, “Beautiful Blue Danube.”_ MONSIEUR ADONIS -_takes out his handkerchief. The note falls on stage. He wipes his face, -passes out door,_ R., _followed by_ DASHER _and_ EVA, KIDS _and_ IDA.) - - _Enter_ MULLIGRUB, C. - -_Mulligrub._ So, so, here we are, Mrs. Mulligrub, unexpectedly, and no -doubt unwelcome. You imagine the old codger snoozing away at home, but -here he is, and wide awake too. It’s about time the head of the house -knew what is going on. And here’s where the money goes. Well, who cares? -There’s lots of it, so let it fly. But I’ve a wonderful curiosity to -know how my Hannah carries herself among all these fine snobs, so I’m -bound to have a peep. (_Goes towards door_, R. _Sees note on carpet._) -Hallo! what’s this? a billy-deux? (_Picking it up._) Where’s my specs? -(_Reads._) “Meet me”—ho, ho! here’s a nice little plot—(_reads_)—“in the -private drawing-room”—that’s here—(_reads_)—“while the company are -waltzing. Do not fail me. Hannah Mulligrub.” My wife! Ye gods and little -fishes! my wife. “Do not fail me.” Is this the reward of my generosity? -My wife! What does it mean? Who is the scoundrel that is tampering with -the affections of Hannah, and the peace of Moses Mulligrub? (_Turns note -over._) “Boston Dip.” Who’s he? “Boston Dip.” There’s a name. I’ve heard -of the “Manchester Pet,” and the “Dublin Baby,” but the “Boston -Dip,”—confound him, let me get hold of him, and I’ll Christen him with a -dip that will drown him. Here’s nice goings on! A respectable wife, and -a mother, too, making an appointment with an individual bearing such a -name as that—“Boston Dip.” He shall not fail you, Mrs. M., but he must -meet me too. I’ll not stir from this place until I know what this means. -This comes of letting women roam abroad when they should be kept at -home. O, Mrs. Mulligrub! if I don’t cut down your pin money for this my -name’s not Moses Mulligrub. I’ll not leave you a pin to stand on. -(_Takes chair; slams it down,_ C.) “Boston Dip.” (_Sits, and jumps up._) -Gracious! he must be a sparrer, and that’s his fighting name. No matter, -let him come on. (_Sparring._) The old man’s a little out of practice, -but he’s game. (_Sits; folds his arms._) If this little party does not -end in a shindy, it won’t be my fault. - - DASHER _backs in,_ R., _waving his handkerchief._ - -_Dasher._ Does she mean to come? I cannot attract her attention. (_Backs -up still, waving his handkerchief._) Why don’t she come? (_Backs -against_ MULLIGRUB’S _chair, sending it over, and_ MULLIGRUB _on to the -floor._) I beg your pardon. - -_Mulligrub_ (_picking himself up_). Sir! - -_Dasher._ I really beg your pardon. Did you break anything? - -_Mulligrub._ No, sir; but I shall presently break the peace and your -head. - -_Dasher._ I beg you won’t do anything of the kind. It was an accident; -and besides, you are trespassing here. - -_Mulligrub._ O, I am! And pray, sir, will you be kind enough to explain -the meaning of that remark? - -_Dasher._ Certainly. This is Mrs. Mulligrub’s private drawing-room, -where none but her friends are allowed to enter. - -_Mulligrub._ Indeed! (_Aside._) This must be “Dip.” (_Aloud._) Well, -sir, I am one of her friends—a particular friend. - -_Dasher._ I see: an old friend of the family. You’re just the man I want -to see. Yes, sir, the moment I set eyes on you I said to myself, -“There’s a man who can serve me.” - -_Mulligrub._ Indeed—(_aside_) with a broken head. - -_Dasher._ Yes, sir. You know old Mulligrub? - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). Old Mulligrub! (_Aloud._) Intimately. - -_Dasher._ Good. I’ve never seen him, but people say he’s immensely rich. -What do you say? Will he cut up well? - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). “Cut up!” Confound his impudence. - -_Dasher._ I’ve particular reasons for wishing to know. I may say, I am -very much attached to a member of his family, you understand. I’m not -mercenary; but you know times are hard, and to make a respectable show -in society, have a nice house, a half dozen fast horses, and all that -sort of thing, requires money. Now, what I want to know is this, will -the old man shell out? - -_Mulligrub._ Shell out? Look here, young man, for coolness you certainly -would take the premium at the largest display of frozen wares in Alaska. -If I don’t answer your polite questions, it is because your audacity has -so astounded me, that, hang me, if I know whether there is an old -Mulligrub to “cut up” or “shell out” at all. (_Aside._) It must -certainly be “Dip.” - -_Dasher._ O, you won’t tell. Hush! there’s somebody coming—somebody who -I am particularly anxious to meet alone, you understand. Just step out -of that door (_pointing,_ C.), that’s a good fellow. - -_Mulligrub._ Sir, I shall do nothing of the kind. - -_Dasher._ But you must—only for a moment, and then you shall return. -(_Pushes him back._) - -_Mulligrub._ Sir, do you know who I am? - -_Dasher._ Certainly; a friend of the family; and, as a friend of the -family, when the time comes you shall know all. Now go, that’s a good -fellow. (_Pushes him back to door,_ C.) - -_Mulligrub._ But, sir, I shall not. (_Aside._) Stop. I’ll watch. -(_Aloud._) Very well, sir; as I seem to be in the way, I will retire. - -_Dasher._ I knew you would—you’re such a good fellow. - -_Mulligrub._ Good fellow! (_Aside._) Confound his impudence. - - [_Exit,_ C. - -_Dasher._ Ha, ha! Got rid of him. (_Comes down stage._ MULLIGRUB -_enters_, C., _and steps behind screen._) Now for a tender interview -with Miss Eva, ending in a proposal, which I know she will accept. -(_Enter_ EVA, C.) I knew you would come. - -_Eva._ Because I promised. O, Mr. Dasher, that waltz was delightful. - -_Dasher._ Indeed! I am glad you enjoyed it. If it gave you pleasure I -should be satisfied, though my heart is heavy, and the waltz had little -inspiration for me. - -_Eva._ Dear me, Mr. Dasher, you look as melancholy as an owl. What has -gone wrong? - -_Dasher._ Nothing—everything—Miss Eva. I am on the verge of a precipice, -a frightful precipice. (MULLIGRUB’S _head appears above screen_.) - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). There’s “Dip” and—Eva, as I live! - -_Eva._ I don’t understand you, Mr. Dasher. - -_Dasher._ Upon the verge of a frightful precipice I totter. Beneath me -are the whitened bones of many a mortal. If I fall not a tear will be -shed for me. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). Nary a tear, young man. - -_Dasher._ ’Tis the valley of disappointed hopes. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). Dip’s getting grave. - -_Dasher._ Into this must I fall, unless the succoring hand be stretched -forth to me. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). The sucker! - -_Dasher._ You, Miss Eva, you—admirable, divine, angelic—can stretch -forth that hand to save Dasher from dashing himself into the valley. - -_Eva._ Mr. Dasher, have you been drinking? - -_Dasher._ Draughts of bliss from the fountain of love: basking in the -sunshine of your presence. O, Miss Eva, will you save me? - -_Eva._ Once again, Mr. Dasher, I tell you I do not understand you. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). ’Twould puzzle a Dutchman. - -_Dasher._ Have I then been mistaken? have those little delicate -attentions which I fondly imagined were gaining for me a corner on your -heart—ah, I mean in your heart—been wasted on the desert air? - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). Dip’s getting airy. - -_Dasher._ On the brink of a precipice I stand— - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). On the rocks again, Dip. - -_Dasher._ Can you see me rush headlong to ruin, angelic Eva. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). Dip’s getting high— - -_Dasher._ You are the star of my destiny; you are the prize for which I -strive, you are the divinity of my adoration. Here on my knees—(_Falls -on his knees_ L. _of_ EVA.) I swear nothing shall part us. - - _Enter_ IDA, R., _hurriedly_. - -_Ida._ O, quick, quick, Eva! I’ve got you such a partner! He’s all -impatience. Quick! the music is just about to commence. I wouldn’t have -you lose him for the world. - -_Eva._ But Ida— - -_Ida._ Don’t stop to talk. Come quick! quick! (_Drags her off_, R.) - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). Ha, ha! Dip’s left on the brink again. - -_Dasher_ (_jumping up_). Confound that girl! I’ve lost the chance. This -comes of making a long story about a very short question. The precipice -was a failure. I’ll go and pump the friend of the family. (_Exit_, C. -MULLIGRUB _comes from screen_.) - -_Mulligrub._ That can’t be Dip, after all. He’s after Eva. But he can’t -have her. Thanks to his confidential assurance, I can send him over the -precipice into the valley of disappointed hopes in short order. - - _Enter_ KIDS, C. - -_Kids._ Now weally, I saw Miss Ida enter this woom, positively saw her, -and now she’s gone. Hallo! an intrudaw. Sir, I have not the honow of -your acquaintance. This woom is the wesort, the westing-place of a bevy -of divine goddesses. No masculine mortals are allowed to entaw here. - -_Mulligrub._ Show! then you are not a masculine mortal, I take it. - -_Kids._ Sir, you are impertinent. I am—I am a particular fwiend of the -lady who is the lawful possessor of this wesort. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). Can this be Dip? (_Aloud._) Sir, I am a -particular friend of the lady in question, being the brother of her -husband’s brother. - -_Kids._ Weally, the bwover of her husband’s bwover. Pon honow, that’s a -sort of cwoss-eyed welation. - -_Mulligrub._ What do you mean by that? Do you doubt my right to be here? - -_Kids._ Hey? wight?—no, no. (_Aside._) He must be a witch welation. -(_Aloud._) Do you know Mr. Mulligwub? - -_Mulligrub._ Intimately. - -_Kids._ I say, would it be a good inwestment to wun away with a membaw -of his family? - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). It must be Dip. Shall I mash him? No, no, the -proof first. (_Aloud._) Splendid! Can I help you? - -_Kids._ Well, I don’t know. He’s a wough specimen, and he so vulgaw. -Sold fish in a handcart, too. I detest fish, it’s on such a low scale. -Now isn’t that good? It’s owiginal, too. I don’t like the odaw. Dreadful -low people, but then, there’s lots of money. Yaas, I think I will -sacwafice myself. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). I’ll sacrifice you, you monkey. (_Aloud._) But -tell me, who is the favored member of the family? - -_Kids._ Hush! somebody’s coming. You must wetire. - -_Mulligrub._ What, and lose the fun? No, I thank you. - -_Kids._ You must, weally. The lady is coming. It would shock her -delicate nerves were you to be pwesent at the interview. So go, that’s a -dear fellah. (_Pushes him back_, C.) - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). He calls me a good fellah. Shall I fell him on -the spot? No, I’ll wait; vengeance can afford to wait. - -_Kids._ Do wetire, and, when it’s all ovaw, I will call you. (_Pushes -him back_, C.) Good fellah. - -_Mulligrub._ You’ll call me when it’s all over. (_Aside._) I’ll be on -hand while it’s going on. - - [_Exit_, C. - -_Kids._ There, the bwover of the husband’s bwover is excluded from the -apartment of the wife of the bwover’s husband—no, that ain’t it, it’s -the bwover’s wife’s husband—no, or—(_Mulligrub enters_, C., _and gets -behind screen_.) Here she comes, lovely as a poppy, because she’s got a -rich poppy. That’s good—owiginal, too. - - _Enter_ IDA, R. - -_Ida._ Here I am, Mr. Kids, to fulfill my promise. - -_Kids._ Yaas, Miss Ida, like the bounding fawn that—that—weally, I -forget what the bounding fawn was doing—O, weally, bounding, of course. -That’s very good—isn’t it?—owiginal, too. But where was the bounding -fawn bound? that’s the question. - -_Ida._ I wish I could answer your question, but, not being versed in -natural history, I am unable to say. - -_Kids._ Weally. Well, never mind the fawn. Listen, O, listen! I’m a -miserable wetch, I am. - -_Ida._ Miserable? you? - -_Kids_. Yaas, weally. I’m standing—I’m standing,—where am I standing?—O, -on the bwink of a howid pwecipice. - -_Mulligrub_ (_sticking his head above screen_). Hallo! another brink, -another precipice, and—Ida, as I live. - -_Ida._ La, Mr. Kids, what a dangerous position. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). Kids; then it’s not Dip, that’s certain. - -_Kids._ O, dweadful, dweadful. But you can save me. - -_Ida._ How, Mr. Kids? - -_Kids._ That’s the ideah, Miss Ida; for when a fellah is on the bwink of -such a pwecipice, as the pwecipice I am on the bwink of, the best way to -save him is to push him ovaw. - -_Ida._ Well, that’s certainly an original idea. - -_Kids._ Yaas, it is an owiginal, idea—mine, too—I found it in my bwain, -with the help of the diwectory. When a fellah’s on the bwink of -matwimony, of course his safety and his happiness is secured by his -being pushed into it. You see my ideah. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). Deuced clumsy one. - -_Ida._ But how can I help you? - -_Kids._ By pushing me ovaw. Miss Ida, you are bewitching, you are -lovely, you are divine, and on my knees I ask you (_falls on his knees_ -L. _of_ IDA) to give me a push. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). Confounded jackass. - -_Ida._ But, Mr. Kids, I don’t understand. You’re so—so—(_Aside._) Where -can Eva be? (_Aloud._) You say you are on the brink of a precipice. - -_Kids._ Howid, howid; and if you consent to be— - - _Enter_ EVA, R. - -_Eva._ Quick, quick, Ida! mother’s fainted. - -_Ida._ You don’t mean it? - -_Eva._ Yes, yes, come quick! What are you waiting for? - -_Ida._ But Mr. Kids is on the brink of a precipice. - -_Eva._ Let him stay there. Come with me. (_Drags_ EVA _off_, R.) - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). Won’t somebody be kind enough to remove that -precipice? - -_Kids_ (_rising_). Yaas, weally, that owiginal ideah will kill me, I -know it will. I must go and bathe my head in Cologne, I must weally. -Miss Ida didn’t push well; in fact, I don’t believe she’s fond of -pushing fellah’s ovaw, I don’t, weally. - - [_Exit_, C. - -_Mulligrub_ (_comes from behind screen_). I don’t think that’s Dip—I -don’t, weally. Egad! those girls of mine are determined not to be caught -by chaff. I wonder if I can say as much for the old lady. I wish she -would make her appearance. This must be the room. Ah, here she comes. -Now for something interesting. (_Runs behind screen._) - - _Enter_ MRS. MULLIGRUB, R. - -_Mrs. M._ The fiddlers are tuning up for a waltz, and if Munseer Adonis -is to keep his word now is the time. I wonder what Moses would say if he -knew what I was about. But he can’t know. He’s safe at home, and there’s -certainly no harm in obtaining a graceful _inquisition_ to my other -accomplishments. (_Music, Beautiful Blue Danube, soft and low._) There -they go. O, isn’t that splendid. (_Waltzes about stage in a very awkward -manner._) - -_Mulligrub_ (_with head above screen_). What’s the matter with Hannah? -She’s bobbing about the room like a turkey with’s its head off. - - _Enter_ MONSIEUR ADONIS, R. - -_Mons. A._ _Charmant, charmant!_ (_Music stops._) Madam, you are ze -ecstasy of motion. You have ze grace of ze antelope, and ze step of ze -fairy. - -_Mrs. M._ O, don’t! You have come— - -_Mons. A._ Wiz ze “Boston Dip,” as I have promise. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). “Boston Dip.” That’s him—the scoundrel! - -_Mrs. M._ O, I’m so nervous. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). You ought to be, you hypocrite. - -_Mons. M._ Zar is not ze least occasion. We are here alone. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). Not quite, Dip, not quite. - -_Mons. A._ No one will dare to enter here. Zar is none to look at you -but I, and am I not discretion itself, madam? - -_Mrs. M._ O, you are the soul of honor. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). Humbug! - -_Mons. M._ Now, zar is no time to lose. Permit me. (_Takes her hand and -leads her_ C.) - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). Dip’s taking her hand. I shall choke! - -_Mons. A._ Put your left hand in mine—so. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). She obeys him. Ah, faithless Hannah! - -_Mons. A._ Zat is good. Do not tremble—zar is no danger. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). Don’t be so sure of that. - -_Mons. A._ Now, my arm around your waist—so. - -_Mulligrub_ (_aside_). O, perfidious Hannah! - -_Mons. A._ Now let your head drop upon ze collar of my coat. Ah, zat is -good, zat is exquisite. - -_Mulligrub._ She presses his collar, and my cholar is rising. I shall -choke with rage. - -_Mons. M._ All right. Now, one, two, three, and off we go. - -_Mulligrub_ (_pushing the screen over on to the floor. Discovered -standing in a chair, with doubled fist_). Stop! (_Very loud._) - -_Mrs. M._ Ah! (_Screams, and falls into_ MONSIEUR ADONIS’S _arms_.) - -_Mons. A._ Sacre! Who calls so loud? - -_Mulligrub._ An injured husband. - -_Mrs. M._ (_jumping up_). O, it’s Moses! - -_Mulligrub._ Yes, it is Moses! Moses the deluded; Moses the deceived; -Moses the betrayed; Moses on the brink of a precipice. - -_Mom. A._ Moses!—Who be Moses? - -_Mrs. M._ My husband. - -_Mons. A._ Monsieur Mulligrub! O, ze light break upon my head. - -_Mulligrub_ (_jumping down_). Tremble, rascal! You’re discovered. Woman, -begone! O, Hannah! can I believe my eyes. You—you make an appointment -with such a miserable, contemptible, sneaking cur as that? But I’ll be -revenged, rascal! (_Takes_ MONSIEUR ADONIS _by throat_.) Blaster of -peaceful families (_shaking him_), I’ll have your life! - -_Mons. A._ Help! help! I am choke all over too much! Help! help! - -_Mrs. M._ O, Moses, spare him! - -_Mulligrub._ Never! I’ll shake the life out of him. Rascal! - -_Mons. A._ Help! somebody, quick! - -_Mulligrub._ Scoundrel! - -_Mons. A._ Help! help! He squeeze my windpipe all too much. - - _Enter_, R., IDA _and_ EVA; C., DASHER _and_ KIDS. - -_Eva._ Father here? - -_Ida._ And fighting? - -_Dasher._ What is the meaning of this? - -_Kids._ Weally, a wow, a wiot, a wumpus! - -_Mulligrub._ Meaning of it! Look at this miserable wretch!—this thing -who answers to the name of “Boston Dip.” - -_All._ “Boston Dip.” - -_Mons. A._ Sar, you insult me. My name is Monsieur Achilles Adonis. - -_Eva._ And “Boston Dip” is the name given to the latest movement of the -waltz. - -_Mulligrub._ What, not the name of an individual? Then, what is the -meaning of that? (_Shows note._) - -_Mons. A._ Zat is my note, monsieur. - -_Mrs. M._ Yes, written by me to Monsieur Adonis, asking him to give me a -private lesson here. - -_Eva._ And father thought it a love affair? O, father! - -_Ida._ A man with the name of “Boston Dip!” O, father! - -_Dasher._ Friend of the family, you’ve made a mistake. - -_Kids._ Yaas, dipped into the wong man. Now isn’t that good—owiginal, -too. - -_Mulligrub_ (_looks at each in a foolish manner, then takes_ MRS. -MULLIGRUB _by the hand; leads her_ C., _and kneels_). Hannah, I’m on the -brink of a frightful precipice. I’ve made a fool of myself. Forgive me, -and let’s go home. - -_Mrs. M._ I think you have, Moses. - -_Dasher._ There’s not the least doubt of it. - -_Kids._ Yaas, Moses into the bull-wushes! That’s good—weally owiginal, -too. - -_Mulligrub_ (_rising_). Monsieur Adonis, I beg your pardon for my -rudeness. I will make amends, ample reparation. Greenbacks shall shower -upon your classic academy. To you, gentlemen, I need make no apologies. -You see the old man has “cut up,” and perhaps may be made to “shell -out.” I don’t think my girls will be able to assist you on that -precipice. With your permission, I will retire. - -_Eva._ Don’t go, father. Stay and enjoy yourself. - -_Ida._ And see us waltz. We have splendid partners. - -_Mons. A._ Proficient in all ze elegancies of ze art. - -_Mrs. M._ Moses, I’m ashamed of you. You’re really _proficient_ in the -usages of fashionable _depravity_; but I’ll forgive you, and make you -acquainted with my new flame, one which you so grievously mistook, my -harmless pet, “The Boston Dip.” (_Music, Beautiful Blue Danube._ MR. -MULLIGRUB _bows, and retires up_, C. _Waltz_, MONSIEUR ADONIS _and_ MRS. -MULLIGRUB; DASHER _and_ EVA; KIDS _and_ IDA.) - - - CURTAIN. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - SPENCER’S UNIVERSAL STAGE. - - - _A Collection of COMEDIES, DRAMAS, and - FARCES, adapted to either Public or - Private Performance. Containing a full - description of all the necessary Stage - Business._ - - ---------- - - _PRICE, 15 CENTS EACH._ ☞ _No Plays exchanged._ - - ---------- - -1. =Lost in London.= A Drama in Three Acts. 6 Male, 4 Female characters. - -2. =Nicholas Flam.= A Comedy In Two Acts. By J.B. Buckstone. 5 Male, 3 - Female characters. - -3. =The Welsh Girl.= A Comedy in One Act. By Mrs. Planche. 3 Male, 2 - Female characters. - -4. =John Wopps.= A Farce in One Act. By W.E. Suter. 4 Male, 2 Female - characters. - -5. =The Turkish Bath.= A Farce in One Act. By Montague Williams and F.C. - Burnand. 6 Male, 1 Female character. - -6. =The Two Puddifoots.= A Farce in One Act. By J.M. Morton. 3 Male, 3 - Female characters. - -7. =Old Honesty.= A Comic Drama in Two Acts. By J.M. Morton. 5 Male, 2 - Female characters. - -8. =Two Gentlemen in a Fix.= A Farce in One Act. By W.E. Suter. 2 Male - characters. - -9. =Smashington Goit.= A Farce in One Act. By T.J. Williams. 5 Male, 3 - Female characters. - -10. =Two Heads Better than One.= A Farce in One Act. By Lenox Horne. 4 - Male, 1 Female character. - -11. =John Dobbs.= A Farce in One Act. By J.M. Morton. 5 Male, 2 Female - characters. - -12. =The Daughter of the Regiment.= A Drama in Two Acts. By Edward - Fitzball. 6 Male, 2 Female characters. - -13. =Aunt Charlotte’s Maid.= A Farce in One Act. By J.M. Morton. 3 Male, - 3 Female characters. - -14. =Brother Bill and Me.= A Farce In One Act. By W.E. Suter. 4 Male, 3 - Female characters. - -15. =Done on Both Sides.= A Farce in One Act. By J.M. Morton. 3 Male, 2 - Female characters. - -16. =Dunducketty’s Picnic.= A Farce in One Act. By T.J. Williams. 6 - Male, 3 Female characters. - -17. =I’ve written to Browne.= A Farce in One Act. By T.J. Williams. 4 - Male, 3 Female characters. - -18. =Lending a Hand.= A Farce In One Act. By G.A. A’Becket. 3 Male, 2 - Female characters. - -19. =My Precious Betsy.= A Farce in One Act. By J.M. Morton. 4 Male, 4 - Female characters. - -20. =My Turn Next.= A Farce in One Act. By T.J. Williams. 4 Male, 3 - Female characters. - -21. =Nine Points of the Law.= A Comedy in One Act. By Tom Taylor. 4 - Male, 3 Female characters. - -22. =The Phantom Breakfast.= A Farce in One Act. By Charles Selby. 3 - Male, 2 Female characters. - -23. =Dandelions Dodges.= A Farce in One Act. By T.J. Williams. 4 Male, 2 - Female characters. - -24. =A Slice of Luck.= A Farce in One Act. By J.M. Morton. 4 Male, 2 - Female characters. - -25. =Always Intended.= A Comedy in One Act. By Horace Wigan. 3 Male, 3 - Female characters. - -26. =A Bull in a China Shop.= A Comedy in Two Acts. By Charles Matthews. - 6 Male, 4 Female characters. - -27. =Another Glass.= A Drama in One Act. By Thomas Morton. 6 Male, 3 - Female characters. - -28. =Bowled Out.= A Farce in One Act. By H.T. Craven. 4 Male, 3 Female - characters. - -29. =Cousin Tom.= A Commedietta in One Act. By George Roberts. 3 Male, 2 - Female characters. - -30. =Sarah’s Young Man.= A Farce in One Act. By W.E. Suter. 3 Male, 3 - Female characters. - -31. =Hit Him, He has No Friends.= A Farce in One Act. By E. Yates and - N.H. Harrington. 7 Male, 3 Female characters. - -32. =The Christening.= A Farce in One Act. By J.B. Buckstone. 5 Male, 6 - Female characters. - -33. =A Race for a Widow.= A Farce in One Act. By Thomas J. Williams. 5 - Male, 4 Female characters. - -34. =Your Life’s in Danger.= A Farce in One Act. By J.M. Morton. 3 Male, - 3 Female characters. - -35. =True unto Death.= A Drama in Two Acts. By J. Sheridan Knowles. 6 - Male, 2 Female characters. - -36. =Diamond cut Diamond.= An Interlude in One Act. By W.H. Murray. 10 - Male, 1 Female character. - -37. =Look after Brown.= A Farce in One Act. By George A. Stuart, M.D. 6 - Male, 1 Female character. - -38. =Monseigneur.= A Drama in Three Acts. By Thomas Archer. 15 Male, 3 - Female characters. - -39. =A very pleasant Evening.= A Farce in One Act. By W.E. Suter. 3 Male - characters. - -40. =Brother Ben.= A Farce in One Act. By J.M. Morton. 3 Male, 3 Female - characters. - -41. =Only a Clod.= A Comic Drama in One Act. By J.P. Simpson. 4 Male, 1 - Female character. - -42. =Gaspardo the Gondolier.= A Drama in Three Acts. By George Almar. 10 - Male, 2 Female characters. - -43. =Sunshine through the Clouds.= A Drama in One Act. By Slingsby - Lawrence. 3 Male, 3 Female characters. - -44. =Don’t Judge by Appearances.= A Farce in One Act. By J.M. Morton. 3 - Male, 2 Female characters. - -45. =Nursey Chickweed.= A Farce in One Act. By T.J. Williams. 4 Male, 2 - Female characters. - -46. =Mary Moo; or, Which shall I Marry?= A Farce in One Act. By W.E. - Suter. 2 Male, 1 Female character. - -47. =East Lynne.= A Drama in Five Acts. 8 Male, 7 Female characters. - -48. =The Hidden Hand.= A Drama in Five Acts. By Robert Jones. 16 Male, 7 - Female characters. - -49. =Silverstone’s Wager.= A Commedietta in One Act. By R.R. Andrews. 4 - Male, 3 Female characters. - -50. =Dora.= A Pastoral Drama in Three Acts. By Charles Reade. 5 Male, 2 - Female characters. - -51. =Blanks and Prizes.= A Farce in One Act. By Dexter Smith. 5 Male, 2 - Female characters. - -52. =Old Gooseberry.= A Farce in One Act. By T.J. Williams. 4 Male, 2 - Female characters. - -53. =Who’s Who.= A Farce in One Act. By T.J. Williams. 3 Male, 2 Female - characters. - -54. =Bouquet.= A Farce in One Act. 2 Male, 3 Female characters. - -55. =The Wife’s Secret.= A Play in Five Acts. By George W. Lovell. 10 - Male, 2 Female characters. - -56. =The Babes in the Wood.= A Comedy in Three Acts. By Tom Taylor. 10 - Male, 3 Female characters. - -57. =Putkins: Heir to Castles in the Air.= A Comic Drama in One Act. By - W.R. Emerson. 2 Male, 2 Female characters. - -58. =An Ugly Customer.= A Farce in One Act. By Thomas J. Williams. 3 - Male, 2 Female characters. - -59. =Blue and Cherry.= A Comedy in One Act. 3 Male, 2 Female characters. - -60. =A Doubtful Victory.= A Comedy in One Act. 3 Male, 2 Female - characters. - -61. =The Scarlet Letter.= A Drama in Three Acts. 8 Male, 7 Female - characters. - -62. =Which will have Him?= A Vaudeville. 1 Male, 2 Female characters. - -63. =Madam is Abed.= A Vaudeville in One Act. 2 Male, 2 Female - characters. - -64. =The Anonymous Kiss.= A Vaudeville. 2 Male, 2 Female characters. - -65. =The Cleft Stick.= A Comedy in Three Acts. 5 Male, 3 Female - characters. - -66. =A Soldier, a Sailor, a Tinker, and a Tailor.= A Farce in One Act. 4 - Male, 2 Female characters. - -67. =Give a Dog a Bad Name.= A Farce. 2 Male, 2 Female Characters. - -68. =Damon and Pythias.= A Farce. 6 Male, 4 Female characters. - -69. =A Husband to Order.= A Serio-Comic Drama in Two Acts. 5 Male, 3 - Female characters. - -70. =Payable on Demand.= A Domestic Drama in Two Acts. 7 Male, 1 Female - character. - - ---------------------------- - - _Price, 15 cents each. - Descriptive Catalogue mailed free on application to_ - - GEO. M. BAKER & CO., - - 149 WASHINGTON ST., BOSTON. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - Plays for Amateur Theatricals. - - By GEORGE M. BAKER. - - _Author of “Amateur Dramas,” “The - Mimic Stage,” “The Social Stage,” - “The Drawing-room Stage,” “A Baker’s - Dozen,” &c._ - - =Titles in this Type are New Plays.= - - ---------------------------- - - - DRAMAS. - - _In Three Acts._ - - _Cts._ - - =My Brother’s Keeper.= 5 male, 3 female 15 - characters. - - _In Two Acts._ - - =Among the Breakers.= 6 male, 4 female 15 - characters. - - SYLVIA’S SOLDIER. 3 male, 2 female 15 - characters. - - ONCE ON A TIME. 4 male, 2 female 15 - characters. - - DOWN BY THE SEA. 6 male, 3 female 15 - characters. - - BREAD ON THE WATERS. 5 male, 3 female 15 - characters. - - THE LAST LOAF. 5 male, 3 female 15 - characters. - - _In One Act._ - - STAND BY THE FLAG. 5 male characters. 15 - THE TEMPTER. 3 male, 1 female charac. 15 - - COMEDIES and FARCES. - - =The Boston Dip.= 4 male, 3 female 15 - characters. - - =The Duchess of Dublin.= 6 male, 4 15 - female characters. - - WE’RE ALL TEETOTALERS. 4 male, 2 female 15 - characters. - - A DROP TOO MUCH. 4 male, 2 female 15 - characters. - - THIRTY MINUTES FOR REFRESHMENTS. 4 male, 15 - 3 female characters. - - A LITTLE MORE CIDER. 5 male, 3 female 15 - characters. - - _Male Characters Only._ - - =Gentlemen of the Jury.= 12 char. 15 - =A Tender Attachment.= 7 char. 15 - =The Thief of Time.= 6 char. 15 - =The Hypochondriac.= 5 char. 15 - =A Public Benefactor.= 6 char. 15 - =The Runaways.= 4 char. 15 - =Coals of Fire.= 6 char. 15 - WANTED, A MALE COOK. 4 char. 15 - A SEA OF TROUBLES. 8 char. 15 - - FARCES. - - FREEDOM OF THE PRESS. 8 char. 15 - A CLOSE SHAVE. 6 char. 15 - THE GREAT ELIXIR. 9 char. 15 - THE MAN WITH THE DEMIJOHN. 4 char. 15 - HUMORS OF THE STRIKE. 8 char. 15 - NEW BROOMS SWEEP CLEAN. 6 char. 15 - MY UNCLE THE CAPTAIN. 6 char. 15 - - _Female Characters Only._ - - =The Red Chignon.= 6 char. 15 - =Using the Weed.= 7 char. 15 - =A Love of a Bonnet.= 5 char. 15 - =A Precious Pickle.= 6 char. 15 - THE GREATEST PLAGUE IN LIFE. 8 cha. 15 - NO CURE, NO PAY. 7 char. 15 - THE GRECIAN BEND. 7 char. 15 - - ALLEGORIES. - _Arranged for Music and Tableaux._ - - =The Revolt of the Bees.= 9 female 15 - characters. - - LIGHTHEART’S PILGRIMAGE. 8 female 15 - characters. - - THE WAR OF THE ROSES. 8 female 15 - characters. - - THE SCULPTOR’S TRIUMPH. 1 male, 4 female 15 - characters. - - - MUSICAL AND DRAMATIC. - - =The Seven Ages.= A Tableau 15 - Entertainment. Numerous male and female - characters. - - TOO LATE FOR THE TRAIN. 2 male 15 - characters. - - SNOW BOUND; OR, ALONZO THE BRAVE AND THE 25 - FAIR IMOGENE. 3 male, 1 female - character. - - BONBONS; OR, THE PAINT-KING. 3 male, 1 25 - female character. - - THE PEDLER OF VERY NICE. 7 male 15 - characters. - - AN ORIGINAL IDEA. 1 male, 1 female 15 - character. - - CAPULETTA; OR, ROMEO AND JULIET 15 - RESTORED. 3 male, 1 female character. - - - _TEMPERANCE PIECES._ - - THE LAST LOAF. 5 male, 3 female 15 - characters. - - THE TEMPTER. 3 male, 1 female character. 15 - - WE’RE ALL TEETOTALERS. 4 male, 2 female 15 - characters. - - A DROP TOO MUCH. 4 male, 2 female 15 - characters. - - A LITTLE MORE CIDER. 5 male, 3 female 15 - characters. - - THE MAN WITH THE DEMIJOHN. 4 characters. 15 - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - Transcriber’s Note - - -Punctuation has been normalized. - -The first page of Spencer’s catalog originally located in the front of -the book has been moved to the back of the book with the balance of the -catalog pages. - -The author's choices of spelling and hyphenation, and variations threin, -have been maintained. - -Spellings of the names of the following authors listed in Spencer’s -catalog have been maintained, however it is noted to the reader they -differ from other published sources: - - Montague Williams has been noted as Montagu Williams in other sources. - - Lenox Horne has been noted as both Lennox Horne and Charles F. Lennox - Horne in other sources. - - George A. Stuart has been noted as George A. Stewart in other sources. - -Italicized words and phrases are presented by surrounding the text with -_underscores_. - -Bold-face words and phrases are presented by surrounding the text with -=equal signs=. - -The author’s use of mixed-size capital letters to identify the -characters is presented by the use of all capital letters. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Boston Dip, by George M. Baker - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BOSTON DIP *** - -***** This file should be named 52665-0.txt or 52665-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/2/6/6/52665/ - -Produced by David Edwards and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, -and may not be used if you charge for the eBooks, unless you receive -specific permission. If you do not charge anything for copies of this -eBook, complying with the rules is very easy. You may use this eBook -for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, -performances and research. They may be modified and printed and given -away--you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks -not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the -trademark license, especially commercial redistribution. - -START: FULL LICENSE - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full -Project Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at -www.gutenberg.org/license. - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or -destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your -possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a -Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound -by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the -person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph -1.E.8. - -1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this -agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the -Foundation" or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection -of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual -works in the collection are in the public domain in the United -States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the -United States and you are located in the United States, we do not -claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, -displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as -all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope -that you will support the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting -free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm -works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the -Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with the work. You can easily -comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the -same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg-tm License when -you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are -in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, -check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this -agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, -distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any -other Project Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no -representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any -country outside the United States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other -immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear -prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work -on which the phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the -phrase "Project Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, -performed, viewed, copied or distributed: - - This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and - most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no - restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it - under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this - eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the - United States, you'll have to check the laws of the country where you - are located before using this ebook. - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is -derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not -contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the -copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in -the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are -redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply -either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or -obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any -additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms -will be linked to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works -posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the -beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including -any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access -to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format -other than "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official -version posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site -(www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense -to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means -of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original "Plain -Vanilla ASCII" or other form. Any alternate format must include the -full Project Gutenberg-tm License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -provided that - -* You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed - to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he has - agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid - within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are - legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty - payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in - Section 4, "Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg - Literary Archive Foundation." - -* You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all - copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue - all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg-tm - works. - -* You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of - any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of - receipt of the work. - -* You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work or group of works on different terms than -are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing -from both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and The -Project Gutenberg Trademark LLC, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project -Gutenberg-tm collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may -contain "Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate -or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other -intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or -other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or -cannot be read by your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right -of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium -with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you -with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in -lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person -or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second -opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If -the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing -without further opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO -OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT -LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of -damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement -violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the -agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or -limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or -unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the -remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in -accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the -production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, -including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of -the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this -or any Project Gutenberg-tm work, (b) alteration, modification, or -additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any -Defect you cause. - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of -computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It -exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations -from people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future -generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see -Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at -www.gutenberg.org - - - -Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by -U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. - -The Foundation's principal office is in Fairbanks, Alaska, with the -mailing address: PO Box 750175, Fairbanks, AK 99775, but its -volunteers and employees are scattered throughout numerous -locations. Its business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt -Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to -date contact information can be found at the Foundation's web site and -official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact - -For additional contact information: - - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND -DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular -state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To -donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project -Gutenberg-tm concept of a library of electronic works that could be -freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and -distributed Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of -volunteer support. - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in -the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not -necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper -edition. - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search -facility: www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. - |