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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..68a8c33 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #52938 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/52938) diff --git a/old/52938-0.txt b/old/52938-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index beddcc7..0000000 --- a/old/52938-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,5273 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The life and adventures of Guzman -D'Alfarache, or the Spanish Rogue, by Alain-René Le Sage - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: The life and adventures of Guzman D'Alfarache, or the Spanish Rogue vol. 2/3 - -Author: Alain-René Le Sage - -Translator: John Henry Brady - -Release Date: August 30, 2016 [EBook #52938] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LIFE D'ALFARACHE, VOL. 2/3 *** - - - - -Produced by Josep Cols Canals, Chuck Greif and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - - - - - - - - - - THE - - LIFE AND ADVENTURES - - OF - - GUZMAN D’ALFARACHE, - - OR - - THE SPANISH ROGUE. - - TRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH EDITION OF - - MONS. LE SAGE. - - BY JOHN HENRY BRADY. - - SECOND EDITION. - - CORRECTED AND CONSIDERABLY IMPROVED. - - IN THREE VOLUMES. - - VOL. II. - - LONDON: - - PRINTED FOR LONGMAN, HURST, REES, ORME, - BROWN, AND GREEN, PATERNOSTER-ROW. - - 1823. - - London: Printed by J. Nichols and Son, - 25, Parliament-street. - - - - - THE - - LIFE - - OF - - GUZMAN D’ALFARACHE. - - - - -CHAP. XIII. - -_From the service of the Cook, Guzman returns to the Begging Trade, and -robs an Apothecary._ - - -Wisdom is better than riches, since Fortune is but a fickle goddess, who -bereaves us one day of what she has bestowed on us the preceding. During -the course of our lives she makes us resemble comedians, who have every -day new parts to study, and must appear in different characters. Who -could have thought that, after having served the cook so faithfully, he -would have turned me out of doors for so trifling an offence? It is -true, that thus the world wags, and that persons of much greater -consequence than myself are constantly treated in the same manner by the -_great_ upon the most trivial occasion, after having rendered them a -thousand services. - -Stop, Guzman, cry you, or you will lose yourself in moral reflections. -Whither will this learned discourse lead you? To my basket again, reply -I; yes, my friend, to my basket, which, having now become to me as -useful as eloquence was to Demosthenes, or stratagems to Ulysses, -consoled me under my present misfortune. Long may the basket-trade -flourish, which a man, having once tried, will never fail to resume. I -must candidly confess that when I returned to it I was much in the same -condition as when I was fool enough to leave it; for all the produce of -my former knaveries, during the time I had been scullion, had gone as -lightly as it came, and, with the exception of a finer suit of clothes, -I was no better off than before. - -That my returning to my old employment, however, might not be attributed -to my indolent and discontented disposition, I determined, before I -purchased a new basket, to offer my services to some cooks of my -master’s acquaintance, who knew me. If they had received me, it was my -intention to have rendered myself thoroughly knowing in kitchen affairs, -in which I had already made so good a beginning, and for which I might -boast a most happy disposition; but they had heard of my inclination for -gaming, and that nothing was safe within my reach when I wanted money: -and thus, finding there was no chance of obtaining another situation of -this description, I was compelled to resume my former occupation. I -therefore took up my basket again; and though I did not fare so well -among my comrades as at the hotel from which I had been dismissed, yet -I was once more independent, and completely master of my own actions. -Being naturally sober, this sort of life was more adapted to my -inclinations than the other, so that I had but little reason to regret -leaving a house in which I was led into a thousand intemperances. - -We basket-bearers had a small row of houses, or rather hovels, near the -market, which we had bought at our own expense. Here it was that we -usually regaled ourselves, and held our merry meetings. I always got up -with the sun, and was ready at every body’s call, by which means I never -failed to secure a profitable day’s work from such of the citizens as -kept no servants, who employed me to carry home the provisions they -purchased; and the faithful manner in which I performed their -commissions soon established my credit in the several markets. - -About this time commissions were issued to the different regiments to -raise new levies. When any thing of this nature happens, the report soon -gets abroad, the people assemble in every direction to discuss the -subject, and a council of state is held in almost every house. In ours, -as you may imagine, we canvassed the designs of the Court as freely as -the best of them, and had some politicians among us whose conjectures -were not very far from the truth. Good sense is to be found in every -condition. When we were all assembled at night each reported what he had -heard or seen during the day in the principal families in the city, and -we formed our opinions accordingly; and I can assure you, that though -some among us reasoned absurdly, yet there were others, the solidity and -good sense of whose arguments were fully justified by the occurrence of -events which they predicted. I well remember that, among others, our -fraternity could boast of a certain beggar with wooden legs, who never -left his post on a bridge where he begged the whole of the day, whose -acquaintance with state affairs would have astonished a prime minister. - -_We_ concluded then that these new levies that were making, the -destination of which was concealed, must be intended for Italy; and -this, you will see, proved to be true. The first time I heard these -troops mentioned they brought into my mind my intended journey to Genoa, -and made such an impression on my spirits that I did not sleep a wink -the whole night. I felt more anxious than ever to see my relations, from -whom I did not doubt I should obtain a brilliant fortune, every body -telling me that they were exceedingly rich, and many of them without -children; which latter, I considered, would be charmed to have an heir -of so great merit as myself. To these flattering expectations, however, -unpleasant ideas soon succeeded. “How,” thought I, “can I have the -insolence to appear before these noble Genoeses in this miserable dress? -and though I tell them I am their kinsman, are they likely to credit my -assertions? I hope they may be simple enough to believe me; but I fear -they cannot fail to treat me like a rogue and an impostor, if only to -support the honour of the family. Perhaps I may not escape even so well -as this; for my father, who was thoroughly acquainted with the -dispositions of his countrymen, has often said that a Genoese is not to -be trusted in any case where his interest or reputation is concerned. -Still,” thought I, “they may be honest like my father; and I am -persuaded that they will entertain too great a respect for the memory of -their deceased relative, to refuse to assist me in my present -distressing situation. They are too prudent to venture to treat me as an -impostor before they have interrogated me as to our family affairs; and -in this respect I shall be well able to answer, for I can tell them -such particulars as none but my father’s son could possibly be -acquainted with, and which, being not proper to be made public, they -will undoubtedly be obliged to do something for me that I may not -divulge them.” - -Thus I wavered betwixt hope and fear. Sometimes I thought that I -flattered myself too much, and at other times that I desponded without -reason. I paused at the latter reflection, which was the more -consolatory of the two, and hoping to fulfil the proverb, which says, -“he that wishes to be Pope, need only fancy himself one,” I resolved to -avail myself of the favorable opportunity which now presented itself of -getting into Italy, by joining the levies that were raising. One day, as -I was sitting at my usual post, reflecting on the pleasures I should -enjoy at Genoa, my agreeable reverie was disturbed by some one who -called me two or three times. I turned round to see who it could be -that was so well acquainted with my name, and perceived that it was an -old Apothecary who had often employed me before. He beckoned me to come -to him, and I ran immediately; but two of my companions, who were nearer -to him, got before me, and proffered their services before I came up. He -however repulsed them sharply, saying, “no, no; get you gone, birds of -prey; this is not a morsel for you, but for my faithful Guzman.” He -little thought he spoke so truly. Then addressing himself to me, who had -just come up, “_open thy basket_,” added he, and he threw into it three -bags of money, which he had with him wrapped in the corner of his cloak. -“To what brazier must I carry all this copper?” quoth I with a smile. -“This copper!” answered the Apothecary, laughing outright; “here’s a -pretty rogue of a beggar, that takes silver for copper. Come, march on,” -continued he, “for I am in haste; I have engaged to pay a foreign -merchant this money to-day, who has sold me some drugs.” - -This might have been his intention; but I had formed another to defeat -it the instant I heard those charming words, _open thy basket_. The news -of the birth of an only son causes less joy to a tender parent than I -felt at those sweet words, which engraved themselves on my heart, if I -may so express it, in letters of gold. I looked on these three bags as a -present sent me from Heaven, to enable me to support the part I had to -perform at Genoa, and concluded them already my own. As my man had not -the slightest suspicion of me, being already well convinced, as he -conceived, of my honesty, he walked before, and I followed him, -pretending now and then that I was obliged to rest myself a little, as -if my burthen were too great, although, in truth, I could have wished it -much heavier. I never was so anxious to meet a crowd of people as on -this occasion, or even a sly turning by which I could suddenly disappear -from my unsuspecting friend the Apothecary. We chanced, however, shortly -to pass a house with which I was well acquainted, the front and back -doors of which stood most invitingly open. I could not allow this -opportunity to escape me, but entered instantly, and passed through the -house without meeting with any interruption; and in less than two -minutes had got through two or three streets as though I had wings to my -feet. I then resumed my usual pace, to avoid suspicion, being far enough -from my Apothecary, and walked on as demurely as though nothing had -happened. - -In this manner I soon arrived at the gate _de la Vega_, that is to say, -the open country, whence, with the same grave countenance I gained the -bank of the Mançanares; then crossing over to _Casa del Campo_, I -travelled a good league through woods and thickets, and, as night -approached, stopped among some poplars very near to the river, where I -began to consider how I should proceed. “It is not enough,” said I, “to -have begun so well, I must continue in the same manner. Of what use will -this prize be to me if I cannot take care of it now that I have got it? -If I should happen to be nabbed, I shall not only be obliged to refund, -but may lose both my ears to wit; let me, therefore, look out for some -place where I may deposit my money in safety.” - -After having looked about for some time I made a hole about two feet -deep at the bottom of the river, and let down my basket and bags of -money into it. Then covering them with large stones, to prevent them -from floating, I set up a stake in the sand near the spot, that I might -be sure of recollecting where my darling treasure lay concealed. After -this grand operation I went to sleep at the foot of a tree hard by, -where I passed the night, not altogether free from anxiety, though -perfectly well satisfied with the reflection that I was now so well off. -When day-light appeared, I hid myself in a thicket until it was dark -again, when hunger, which drives the wolf from the wood, obliged me to -leave my haunts to go and purchase some provisions, not at either of the -villages in the environs, where, in all probability, the Apothecary -would have sent the alguazils after me, but at Madrid itself, where I -could be best concealed. Having a little money in my pocket, independent -of my hoard, I ventured into the town, whence I returned in about three -hours with a hamper containing provisions sufficient for eight days, and -spent the greater part of the night in cramming myself with this good -cheer. - -When I awoke the next morning, I felt most curious to examine the -contents of the three bags. In vain did I reflect that it must be the -Devil that tempted me, and that I could not satisfy my curiosity without -running the risk of being observed. I could not help yielding to this -gratification, which was certainly the sincerest I had ever felt in my -life. I advanced to the side of the river, and after having looked on -all sides to see if any body was near, I drew my basket out of the -water, and carried it, dripping with wet as it was, into my place of -retreat. Here I opened my bags, and found about two thousand five -hundred reals in them, all in silver, with the exception of thirty -pistoles in gold, which I discovered carefully wrapped up in one of the -bags. I spent the whole of this day with the sincerest pleasure in -counting my pieces over and over again; and when night came on, I put -the whole into the basket again, and secured them in their former -hiding-place. - -As it is not my intention, however, to pretend to entertain my reader -with a journal, I need only add, that, after having concealed myself in -this manner in the wood for a full fortnight, I considered that I had no -longer any thing to fear, and that all the hounds of Justice had by this -time so completely lost scent of me as to have given over their pursuit. -I fished up my treasure again, which I deposited at the bottom of my -hamper, under some fresh provisions which I had been again to Madrid to -procure. As to my basket, I left that in the water with the stones upon -it. I then cut me two good sticks, one to carry my burthen on my back, -and the other I made into a sort of pilgrim’s staff; after which, like a -new pilgrim, I took my route towards Toledo across the fields, thinking -it more prudent to avoid the high roads. - - - - -CHAP. XIV. - -_Guzman in his way to Toledo meets with a young man: what passed between -them._ - - -I tripped along so briskly, that after two nights trudge, I found myself -in the midst of the _Sagra_, near a wood called Açuqueyca, within about -two leagues of Toledo. I entered this wood, intending to rest there the -whole of the day, that I might not enter the City till night. I sat down -under a shady tree, and began to think in what manner I should spend my -money. I soon determined on so many fine purchases, that four times what -I possessed would have been insufficient to have procured them. It were -impossible to enumerate the variety of visions and fancies that -possessed my mind. I was no longer afraid of appearing before my -relations like a beggar, but now looked forward with pleasure to my -arrival at Genoa, and all the purchases that I made in my mind, were -with a view to cut a most brilliant figure among them. - -A stream of clear spring water ran at my feet, with which I found myself -much refreshed, and beginning to feel hungry, I spread my provisions on -the grass for breakfast. Scarcely had I eaten a mouthful, when I heard a -noise, and turning round hastily, I was much alarmed at perceiving a man -close behind me, seated also on the grass, with his head reclining -against a tree. But when I considered him with attention I soon found -that I had nothing to fear. He appeared to be about my own age, but -seemed as raw and inexperienced as if he had not been long weaned from -his mother’s breast. Although he was well dressed and had a large -bundle lying at his side, through which I could discern some clothes and -linen, he looked so unhappy that I judged his purse could not be very -full, and set him down for some knight-errant like myself, who had been -fool enough to forsake his family to wander about the world. We stared -at each other for some moments without saying a word; but when I -observed that he looked with a longing eye on my provisions, I could not -help pitying him. His eager looks reminded me of my own feelings when I -stood before the kind-hearted Monk at the Inn; and I determined not to -be less generous than his Reverence. I, therefore, immediately invited -this young man in the most polite manner to breakfast with me. Shame -prevented him at first from accepting my offer; but when I repeated it, -he laid aside his modesty, and confessed to me that he had not tasted -any thing for the last four and twenty hours. This I found no -difficulty in believing, when I saw in what style he demolished the -meat and the bread and cheese I gave him. - -During the repast we inquired of each other concerning our travels. He -told me that he had come from Toledo, and was going to Madrid; and I -acquainted him that I had just come from Burgos and was on my way to -Cordova. He then related a most romantic story about the occasion of his -pilgrimage, and I was not more sincere with him: considering that he was -but a novice, he lied with a very good grace, and by no means disgraced -his countrymen, who have the reputation for wit and smart answers on -every occasion. I asked him, how he came to set out on his journey, -without providing himself with victuals. He replied, that he had not had -time to procure any, having been forced to leave the place with -precipitation, and that he was more laden with clothes than money. “So -much the worse,” said I, “so much the worse; money is the most -necessary commodity for a traveller now-a-days; for even though you were -going on a pilgrimage to St. Jago in Galicia, I would not advise you to -reckon much upon charity, which has grown very cold of late; you will -find something more than your staff necessary to support you by the -way.” “I perfectly agree with you,” replied the Toledan, “and am well -aware of my imprudence in setting out without provisions; but as it -cannot now be remedied, it is useless to regret it.” - -“It is in your own power,” answered I, “to repair your neglect, by -disposing of a part of the clothes contained in that large bundle, which -you must find extremely burdensome. Money is more portable.” “Granted,” -said he, “and I need not inform you that it is my intention to sell at -least half of them, as soon as I can find a purchaser.” “Perhaps,” -replied I, “without going any further, you have a man before you who is -willing to relieve you of the greater part of your load, and give you as -much for them as they are worth. Shew me the contents of your bundle, -and I will select such as I am inclined to purchase.” My little -gentleman turned pale at these words; he considered me a knave who -intended to repay myself for the breakfast by robbing him of a part of -his property, or at least, that I was willing to amuse myself at his -expense; for when he surveyed my elegant attire, which was not worth -four maravedis, he could not for a moment think that I was in earnest: -every one is apt to judge in this manner, forming opinions of strangers -from the difference of dress and outward appearances. _Such as I see -you, such I take you to be._ - -I observed his confusion; or rather, saw plainly that he suspected my -intentions; and as he made no answer, I drew out one of my bags very -deliberately, untied it, and exhibited a handful of reals to his -astonished eyes: “I believe, my little hero,” said I, “that here is -enough to pay for what I wish to buy of you.” The colour was soon -restored to his cheeks at this sight; he immediately left off eating, -and ran to fetch his bundle, saying that all he had was at my service. -At the same time he was proceeding to show me his best suits, but this I -would not permit, until we had finished our meal. His hopes seemed to -serve as a fresh sauce to his appetite, and he fell to again, as though -he could not do sufficient honor to my breakfast; he could scarcely -contain the joy that he felt. - -That he might not form an ill opinion of me on account of my appearance, -and to prevent his suspecting that the money which he had just seen was -ill got, I addressed him to this effect:--“Whatever you may take me -for,” said I, “be assured that I am in reality as well born as -yourself. This I have thought fit to inform you, that you may learn not -always to judge of people by their looks. When I left Burgos I had as -good clothes as you, but I sold them in the first village I passed -through, to relieve myself of so inconvenient a burden, and contented -myself with these tattered garments, which would excite the pity, or at -the worst the compassion, of thieves whom a better dress would probably -have tempted. If I had not taken this precaution I should have been -robbed a hundred times ere this, and be at this moment without a single -maravedi in my pocket. As, however, it is my intention to stop at Toledo -for some time in my way to Cordova, I have now immediate occasion for a -good suit of clothes; and if you have any that will fit me, I am ready -to be a purchaser.” - -The Toledan, burning with impatience to commence business, with his -mouth still full, began to spread out on the grass a complete suit, the -cloak of which was of most excellent cloth of a light grey colour, -together with two fine shirts and a pair of silk stockings. I tried them -all on, and they fitted me exactly. This the young man did not fail to -tell me, to make me have the better opinion of them. He seemed -apprehensive that my money would slip through his fingers, or that I -should change my mind. He need have been under no such fear, for I was -as anxious to buy as he was to sell, so that our bargain was soon -struck. He asked me a hundred reals, and I agreed to give him this -price, upon condition that he would truck his clothes-bag with me for my -hamper. This he consented to, and I put my money into it, with the two -shirts and the silk stockings. My new clothes I still wore; and I hung -up the old suit and the rest of my rags on a tree, as a trophy of my -success in beggary. The Toledan on his side filled the hamper with his -goods, and the victuals that were left. During all this time, the Sun -was insensibly going down, and the hour of parting having arrived, we -embraced each other with a thousand professions of friendship: after -which we each pursued our particular route, both well satisfied with our -bargain. - - - - -CHAP. XV. - -_Guzman arrives at Toledo, and acts the man of fortune there. Some -account of his gallantries._ - - -It was past nine o’clock when I entered the famous city of Toledo. I -combed my hair and put myself in order, taking particular pains to rub -the dust off my shoes, that I might with the greater assurance be able -to assert that I came in a coach. I requested to be directed to the -best inn, whither I repaired, requiring my supper and lodging like a -young man of fortune, who troubled himself but little about expence. As -these are the sort of customers who are sure to be well treated at inns, -I was immediately shewn into an excellent chamber with a good bed in it, -and waited upon like any prince. I supped perfectly to my satisfaction, -and slept better than I supped. - -The next morning after having taken my chocolate, which I called for in -order to impress them with an opinion of my quality, I desired them to -send for a hatter, a shoemaker and a sword-maker, for it was -indispensable for me to have a new hat, sword, and shoes, to correspond -with the rest of my equipage. But the most essential thing of all, was -to procure a tailor to disguise the suit I had bought as much as -possible, lest when I went abroad I might happen to meet some of the -relations of the young man of whom I had purchased it, which might have -raised suspicions dangerous to me in my present situation. I might very -reasonably have supposed that they would know it again, and perhaps -accuse me of having stolen it, and assassinated the young man. Justice -would then have interfered, and this I had more reasons than one to -dread. I sent, therefore, for a tailor, who in a few hours so completely -disguised the suit, by covering the sleeves with taffeta, changing the -buttons, and putting a velvet collar on the cloak, that the devil -himself could scarcely have known it again. - -I paid my tailor handsomely; and well pleased that I could now venture -out without the dread of getting into difficulty on account of my dress, -I took a walk towards the evening in the _Zocodover_, where the -fashionables usually promenade. Metamorphosed as I was, I was not -altogether free from apprehension of meeting some one who might -recognize me. This fear, however, did not prevent my feeling gratified -in observing that I was particularly noticed by the prettiest women of -slender virtue, who, looking upon me as a handsome well-shaped young -fellow who had never yet been to Cythera, appeared most anxious to have -the honour of setting me in the right road; but I had resolution enough -to resist all their seducing glances. - -What most surprised me was the extreme neatness of all the gentlemen. My -dress, notwithstanding all the tailor’s endeavours to adjust and -beautify it, appeared so shabby in comparison with those around me, that -I resolved on having another. Just at this moment a gentleman mounted on -a beautiful mule crossed the _Zocodover_, in so handsome and stylish a -dress, that I determined to get one, exactly similar, made for myself. -I could scarcely refrain from sending for my tailor that very night. I -managed, however, to wait till morning, though I never closed my eyes -the whole of the night, so completely was I amused and delighted in -considering how handsome I should look in these new trappings. But when -I reflected on the probable expence of them, I began to hesitate, -notwithstanding the eager desire I felt to appear in them. - -“Well, Signor Guzman,” said I to myself, “you presume then to dress -magnificently, and to supplant all the gallants at Toledo! well done, -courage, my friend. Spend your reals without reflecting on the deep game -you have played to possess yourself of them. That is not worthy of your -consideration; all you seem to wish is to get rid of your money, and you -will find it go quick enough. Let a suit be made agreeable to your -fancy, and begin courting the ladies; and you will soon come to your -basket again. Rely upon this; but do not think that you can every day -meet with apothecaries who will allow themselves to be purged like your -friend at Madrid.” - -All these wise reflections presented themselves, but without effect; -for, no sooner was it day-light than I sent for my tailor, to whom I -gave the order, after having given him an exact description of the dress -I had seen. He promised to make me one exactly similar, undertaking to -go himself and purchase the materials, and assuring me that I should -have it as soon as possible; for I required him to be as expeditious and -punctual, as though I were going to be married, and only waited for my -wedding clothes. He, accordingly, sent it home two days after, and I had -never seen any thing more stylish and elegant; the gold glittered all -over it. When I put it on, I was in raptures at my handsome appearance, -and the beauty of my figure, which was already perfectly well formed -though scarcely fifteen years of age. I thought that I was the very -image of my father when he was young, having a delicate white and red -complexion like him, with light-brown hair. I should never have been -tired of looking in the glass, though I felt most anxious to go abroad -again to be admired in the city. No one who was not so eminently pleased -with his own figure as I was, could have been fool enough to have -satisfied my tailor without disputing his bill, which I might most -conscientiously have reduced two thirds; but I did not then think that I -could possibly pay too much for so tasteful an equipage. Mine hostess -seeing me superbly dressed, told me I ought at least to have a lackey. I -immediately engaged one, therefore, that looked like a page, for whom I -was obliged to find new clothes, to be worthy of a master of my -importance. - -The first Sunday, I failed not to attend the great church, followed by -my lackey, to whom I had given proper instructions that he might do me -honour. The congregation was of the first quality in the city; I thrust -myself in the midst of them with a vast deal of assurance, and visited -all the chapels one after another, which caused many to think that I had -some design in my head; it was, however, only to shew myself off. - -I placed myself between the two choirs, having observed that the -principal ladies were always in this part of the church. It was here -that I displayed all the fine airs I had seen practised by other young -fools at Madrid, and which I had performed at least twenty times over in -the morning at my glass. The first thing I did, was to choose a spot -where I could be seen from head to foot. Then I thrust out my breast, -and stood firm upon one leg, while I extended the other in so stiff a -position, that it scarcely touched the ground; shewing by this means my -fine stockings, and that I wore garters of the German fashion which were -then in vogue. As this posture cramped me extremely, I was obliged to -vary it every minute, making divers grimaces at the ladies who looked at -me. I smiled upon one, looked coolly upon another, with languishing eyes -upon a third, and with sparkling eyes upon a fourth. In short, I so far -overacted my part that all the ladies and gentlemen who observed my -manœuvres began to titter at my expence. This I took no kind of -notice of, for I had too good an opinion of myself to imagine that they -could find any thing ridiculous in my behaviour. - -All the ladies, however, were not disposed to laugh at my extravagant -airs; there were even some among them completely charmed by my manners; -for, without any offence to women in general, it may, undoubtedly, be -asserted, that there are always many of that sex for whom the most -impertinent coxcomb is as exactly a match as if he had been made on -purpose. Amongst others, I had the happiness to please two beautiful -women who could not refrain from letting me know it. The passion of the -one was created by my looks and grimaces; but as to the favourable -sentiments of the other, I could attribute them only to my stars. The -first of my two conquests was a lively looking woman, who had something -roguish in her eye, and a pleasing face. I ogled her like a novice, and -she seemed by no means displeased; for women always prefer apprentices -in this art to their masters. She returned my tender glances, which -encouraged me to follow her after Mass, that I might know where she -lived. She walked very slowly, to shew me that it would not be her fault -if I let her escape, and I soon came up with her, and now and then as I -walked behind her whispered some soft things to her as well as I was -able at my age. She made no reply, yet now and then turned her head -round, looking at me in such a manner as persuaded me that she dared not -speak for fear of the Duenna by whom she was accompanied. - -We at length came to a narrow street near St. Cyprian’s Church where she -lived. In entering her house, she bowed her head to me to let me see -that she was not displeased at my having followed her, and did not -forget to dart an amorous look at me, which filled me with love and -hope. I took particular notice of her house, intending to return without -fail that very day to shew myself before her windows. I then took the -way towards my Inn again with hasty steps. - -I no sooner got into another street, than a sort of waiting-woman with a -long thick veil thrown over her, accosted me as I passed along: “Signor -Cavalier,” said she, “I beseech you to follow me; I wish to communicate -something of consequence to you.” I did not hesitate a moment, but -followed her until we both stopped under a large open gateway, when, -seeing that nobody could hear us, she addressed me thus: “Charming -stranger, your appearance is so handsome and prepossessing, that you -will not be surprised when I tell you that a lady of quality who has -seen you at church, is quite enchanted and captivated by your elegant -person, and wishes to have a private conversation with you. This lady is -newly married, and so beautiful that ... but,” added she, breaking off -suddenly, “I will say no more; I must let you form your own opinion when -you see her.” - -I swallowed this bait most greedily, and could scarcely restrain the -pleasure that I felt. Affecting, however, to appear modest, I answered, -that I knew not in what terms to acknowledge the honour that her -mistress had conferred on me; that I did not doubt she was a person of -the first quality, and that, therefore, I was most anxious to wait upon -her, and throw myself at her feet to thank her for her good opinion of -me. “Signor,” said the Confidante, “it will be dangerous to think of -seeing her at her own house, for she has a jealous husband: but tell me -where you lodge, and I will engage that to-morrow morning at farthest, -you shall have an interview with her in your own apartments.” I gave her -my address, and she immediately departed to rejoin her Mistress, who, -she said, was waiting impatiently to know whether she had reason to -thank Dame Fortune, or to reproach her. - -I now found myself engaged in two love-intrigues; but I felt most -inclined towards the first; not that I was displeased with the second, -for it was most flattering to my vanity. “What an advantage it is,” -thought I, “to be handsome! no sooner have I made my appearance at -Toledo, than two ladies, apparently of the first quality, are already in -love with me. What must be the consequence, then, if I stay here long? I -shall undoubtedly captivate all the women in the City.” I returned to my -Inn full of these pleasing thoughts, which, however, did not prevent my -eating a very hearty dinner; after which I sallied out again as soon as -I was able without being incommoded by the heat of the sun, and flew -towards St. Cyprian, where I paced up and down before the windows of the -house into which my first mistress had entered. Not so much as the -shadow of a woman, however, was to be seen; notwithstanding which I -loitered about until it was quite evening, and my perseverance was at -length rewarded. I saw one of the lower windows half opened, which I -approached, and in a nymph, who presented herself to my eyes in an -undress, I recognized my Princess, who told me, with considerable -agitation, that her neighbours, who were a tattling set, would suspect -something, and besought me to remain no longer in the street, but to -retire for some time, and return in about two hours; that there would be -nobody in the house but herself and servants, and that if I pleased, we -might then sup together. I was overjoyed at this invitation, which I -accepted by kissing one of her hands with an air of tenderness, and at -the same time requested that I might be permitted to contribute my dish -towards the supper. “That is by no means necessary,” answered the lady; -“but as what I have in the house may, possibly, not be to your liking, -you can do as you please in that respect.” - -As soon as we had settled these preliminaries, I departed for fear of -attracting the attention of the neighbours, and thereby destroying the -happiness in store for me, and rejoined my page, whom I had ordered to -wait for me at the top of the street, and gave him some money, desiring -him to procure me a fine pullet nicely dressed, two partridges, a -rabbit-pie, four bottles of excellent wine, and some of the choicest -fruits. All this was ready, and sent at nine o’clock precisely, and I -soon followed, was received by my nymph in the kindest manner, and -conducted by her into a neat chamber where she usually slept, with a -handsome bed in it, and I could not help observing under a sort of -pavilion made with rose-coloured taffeta, a large tub, in which I -supposed the Signora occasionally bathed herself. The table was spread -here, and the sideboard decorated with my bottles and fruits. I was well -pleased at the sight of these preparations, which seemed to promise me -an agreeable evening, and could only have wished that my lovely hostess -had been in better spirits; for, in spite of her endeavours to affect -gaiety, I plainly perceived that she was uneasy from some cause unknown -to me. - -“My charmer,” said I, “allow me to ask the cause of that sadness which -is so evidently depicted on your countenance, and which it is in vain -for you to endeavour to conceal.” “Fair stranger,” answered she, -sighing, “since I have not been able to conceal my mortification from -you, I confess that I am much vexed at some unseasonable news I have -just received. My brother, on whom I am entirely dependent, who has been -to Court to solicit preferment, has just returned to Toledo; I would -have given you notice of this before, had I known where to send to you; -nevertheless,” added she, “as he is now gone to sup with a lady of whom -he is enamoured, I do not expect him home before midnight. We may at -least have the satisfaction of supping, and conversing together; and I -have the consolation to add that he will return to Madrid in a day or -two, to stay there three months. I should otherwise be inconsolable at -his arrival; for he is a man of the most violent temper, and most -punctilious in affairs of honour. You cannot conceive what a prisoner I -am when he is at home; but, thank God, we shall soon be free from him -for some time to come.” This discourse of hers somewhat moderated my -joy; the unforeseen return of a brother, and one of his disposition, -appeared no laughing matter to me. I felt very far from comfortable, -and, to speak truth, was sorry that I had not had notice of it before. -For although I was not one of the greatest cowards, yet I had much -rather have been obliged to fight in a street than in a house, where I -must of necessity defend myself, or lose my ears. As, however, the evil -was now without remedy, I considered myself called upon to shew my -courage and resolution. I entreated the lady, therefore, to have the -supper served up at all events, adding with an air of intrepidity, that -if her brother came in and interrupted us, he might choose what -proceeding he pleased, but whichever he adopted towards me, he should -find that he had to do with one who would be at least his match. The -supper was then brought in, and we sat down together; but at that -instant we heard a loud knock at the door. “O Heavens!” cried she, -rising from her seat as though she was ruined; “that must be my -brother,--what will become of me?” - -You will perhaps imagine, that to support the bravery of which I had -just boasted, I prepared courageously to receive the disturber of our -pleasures as I had resolved; but, on the contrary, I was so surprised -and terrified at his return, that I thought of nothing but preserving -myself from his fury, and was going to creep under the bed; but the -sister, considering that I should be safer in the _tub_, thrust me into -it, and covered me with a carpet. Unfortunately for my laced coat this -tub was wet and dirty, independently of which I was much cramped, and -very far from being at my ease in it. - -In the mean time the door was opened to this cursed brother, who had no -sooner entered the chamber, than, astonished, or pretending to be so, at -finding the table and sideboard so well set out, he remained for some -moments without speaking a word; but at length breaking silence; “What -means all this preparation, sister?” said he, in an imperative tone; -“have either of us been married to day, or for whom is this -entertainment meant?” “For you only, whom I have been anxiously -expecting,” replied the trembling nymph. “It is something new,” -continued he, “to treat me with this ceremony. You cannot pretend that -it was to celebrate my return from Madrid, for I sent you word that I -should sup in the city.” “True,” replied the lady, “but you well know, -that you have often come and surprised me after having told me the same -thing; and, if you recollect, you have sometimes been angry that I have -not prepared a supper for you.” “I am by no means satisfied,” replied -the brother, “and I fear much that our neighbours’ slanders are but too -well founded. For a lady of quality you are not sufficiently circumspect -in your behaviour. You are well aware of my delicacy on that point, -therefore be cautious of taking any steps which may wound my feelings; -but,” added he, “let us sit down to supper. I am willing for this -evening to put the best interpretation on your intentions.” - -At these words he seated himself at the table, and they both fell to -upon my unfortunate supper. As for him, he kept grumbling all the while -he was stuffing at my expence, and his sister could not utter a single -word but what put him into a passion. He cursed and swore, and whenever -she ventured to contradict him in any thing, he seemed almost mad with -rage, called her every vile name he could think of, and seemed ready to -knock her down. Two or three times in the course of their repast, I -ventured to lift up a corner of the carpet with which I was covered to -take a peep at this terrible fellow; but I was so afraid that he would -see me that I dared not take a full view of him. - -Time appeared less tedious to him at table than to me in the tub, and I -could not possibly conceive how so passionate a fellow could remain so -long patient even in eating. He amused himself in this manner, however, -for about an hour; and that hour appeared an age to me. He drank at -least as heartily as he ate, and emptied three of my bottles in the -course of his meal; and when the table was cleared, he called for pipes -and tobacco, to make an end, as he said, of the fourth. Upon this the -lady, wishing to make me believe that she desired to get rid of this -intruder, entreated him to go and smoke in his own chamber, and to leave -her at liberty to undress herself and go to bed; but he answered rudely, -that she might retire whither she pleased, but that for his own part he -felt very comfortable where he was, and intended to pass the night -there. - -Hearing this last resolution, I now completely gave myself up for lost; -for I had flattered myself that the least this abominable intruder could -do, after having stuffed himself in this style, was to leave the chamber -as he was requested; and that I should remain alone with his sister, to -pick the bones he was kind enough to leave. I even hoped that the latter -part of the night might prove more agreeable to me than the -commencement, but I did not long remain under this flattering delusion. -The lady, as though she partook of my uneasiness, endeavoured to prevail -on her brother to change his mind, but not being able to succeed either -by tears or entreaties, she left the room with all the appearance of -being much distressed on my account. No sooner had she gone, than her -brother began to behave himself as if he were drunk or mad; sometimes -he would sit very quietly for a few minutes, then jump up and walk and -dance about the room with his pipe in his mouth; sometimes he would -snatch up his sword, and fence against the hangings; whistling, singing, -and talking to himself all this while, and swearing like a Jew, -threatening to exterminate any man who should dare even so much as look -at him. - -After having passed above half the night in these extravagances, he at -last threw himself at full length on the bed without undressing, placing -his sword and pistols within his reach, by way of precaution. “God be -praised,” said I to myself, “it will not be necessary, now that he is on -the bed, to rock him to sleep; he will soon begin snoring to his heart’s -content.” I was, however, once more out in my reckoning; his wine had -not the same effect upon him that it has upon others, for, instead of -falling asleep, he did nothing but doze at intervals for the space of -about two hours, starting up every moment, and crying out, who’s there? -as if he heard some noise in the chamber. The only noise that I made, -however, in my tub, was in lifting up a corner of the tapestry, to hear -whether he slept or not, which, in my impatience to quit this cursed -house, I certainly did pretty frequently. Heaven at last took pity on -me. This boisterous hero, at about day-break, fell a snoring most -lustily; and I then slipped from under my tub as quietly as possible, -determined to run all risks rather than remain any longer, and reached -the chamber door on tiptoe, with my shoes in my hand. I raised the latch -very gently, and made haste towards the street-door, and being so -fortunate as to find the key hanging up by it, I opened the door, and -ran all the way home to our inn. - -Here I found that nobody was yet stirring, not even my page, who -thinking that I should of course pass the night in the arms of love, -had gone to bed very coolly, without giving himself any concern about -me. As I was not willing to disturb any body, I walked into a -pastry-cook’s shop in the neighbourhood, that was just opening, and -telling the master that I was dying with hunger, requested he would -provide me with something to eat. He answered that he had now in his -oven some little pasties, fit to be presented to the Archbishop of -Toledo, which would soon be sufficiently baked. I determined not to lose -this treat, and while I waited until the pasties were drawn from the -oven, I had an opportunity of reflecting on my late cruel adventure, and -the more I considered it, the more lucky did I esteem myself in having -got off so cheaply. - -The pastry cook had not, in my opinion, boasted of his pasties without -reason, for I either found them excellent, or else my appetite gave them -an exquisite taste, which they probably had not. When I left this shop -it was quite day; I entered our inn and hastened to my chamber, where I -lay down on my bed, and at last fell into a sound sleep, after having -tumbled about for two hours without being able to get my late adventure -with the brother and sister, and the characters which they had so well -supported, out of my head. - - - - -CHAP. XVI. - -_Guzman’s amours continued, and in what manner they ended._ - - -I could well have slept until very late in the morning; but as two -ladies had inquired for me below, one of whom was so richly dressed that -my lackey was quite dazzled by her magnificent appearance, he came up -to my chamber and awoke me to announce this visit. I presently guessed -this must be the waiting-woman whom I had conversed with the day before, -who had kept her promise, by prevailing on her mistress to accompany her -to call upon me. I had no sooner desired my lackey to shew them in, than -a lady of handsome mien and figure entered the room, who by her elegant -deportment and easy manners, could not in my judgment be less than a -Marchioness or Countess. She seated herself in a chair at my bed side. I -sat up in my bed and bowed to her as respectfully as my situation would -admit of, begging her to excuse me for receiving her in this manner, and -adding that I had much rather offend in that respect, than allow a lady -of her quality and merit to wait a moment at the door. “No more -apologies,” said she, “but let us come to the point and content my -curiosity: How long have you been in Toledo? what has brought you -hither? shall you make a long stay in this place?” - -These questions, unexpected as they were, were by no means embarrassing -to me, for I had a most fruitful invention on such occasions; I, -therefore, made up so fine a story of my birth and prospects in life, -that I completely succeeded in convincing her of my high quality. One -truth, however, escaped me in the course of conversation, which spoiled -all the effect of my lies; instead of saying that I intended to stay at -least three or four months at Toledo, I told her that I had merely -visited it for a few days’ diversion. I instantly perceived that this -was not exactly agreeable to her hopes. She had evidently formed some -design upon me, which these words disconcerted; and looking upon me, in -consequence, as a mere bird of passage, whom she should soon lose sight -of for ever, she resolved to pluck me as well as she was able before we -parted. - -To accomplish her object, therefore, the first thing she did was to -throw off her veil, in an easy and graceful manner, discovering a face -of perfect beauty, and taking great pains to display her delicate white -hands and a part of her neck. She then, with a negligent air, drew from -her pocket a fine coral rosary, to which were attached several relics, -gold crosses and precious stones, and without appearing to have any -design in it, kept playing with this rosary all the while she was -talking as though she were not aware of what she was doing, but all of a -sudden she left off speaking in the middle of a sentence, looked at me -with surprise, and began feeling her pockets with anxiety which seemed -to increase every moment. I inquired the cause of her uneasiness, but -instead of answering me she began to look on the floor, and every where -that she could think of; then calling her servant who was in waiting at -the chamber door: “Marcia,” said she, “I have lost the great cross -belonging to the chaplet which my husband gave me; how unfortunate I am! -he will certainly think I have made a present of it to some one.” -“Madam,” replied the waiting-woman, “you are perhaps premature in your -sorrow. You may possibly have left it at home, and I even fancy that I -recollect to have seen it in one of your drawers.” “I can never rest -until I be convinced of this,” replied the lady. “Let us therefore -return home immediately, for I cannot bear to remain in doubt on such a -subject.” - -All my efforts to detain her were unavailing. I represented to her that -there might be found many similar rosaries at a Goldsmith’s, and that, -if she would allow me, I would presume to send her one as soon as -possible; but she would not accept of my offer, requesting me, in an -engaging manner, to allow her to depart; assuring me, that whether she -found her cross at home or not, she would not fail to pay me a visit the -next day at the same hour. Upon this she quitted my chamber, leaving me -well pleased with her figure, and much grieved at her so precipitate -departure. - -It was no longer possible to think of sleeping after such an interview, -so that I lay and reflected on my good fortune, and the pleasures that I -anticipated, until it was time for dinner. I then rose and dressed -myself, after which I sat down to a small table, and partook of a -variety of dishes sufficient for six persons. In the middle of my -repast, Marcia returned, and informed me with a mournful countenance -that the golden cross could not be found; “and what is still more -vexatious,” added she, “my mistress accuses me of being the cause of -this misfortune, and I must allow that I was rather too pressing this -morning to make her dress herself quickly to come and see you. I have -been to a Goldsmith’s out of curiosity, to see if I could not find a -cross of the same description, and have been fortunate enough to meet -with one that resembles it as nearly as possible.” I soon understood her -meaning, and wishing to be thought generous, I answered, that if she -would wait until I had dined, I would accompany her to the Goldsmith’s, -and purchase the cross which she had seen. As this was, in fact, the -sole object of her coming, she replied, that she would do just as I -pleased; then beginning to praise her mistress, she told me all that was -charming of her. - -After dinner we repaired to the Goldsmith’s together, and purchased the -aforesaid cross, which I gave to Marcia, requesting her to tell her -mistress, that as I considered myself in some degree the cause of her -loss, it was my duty to repair it. This faithful servant, overjoyed at -her good success, immediately departed, after having assured me that she -would make her lady acquainted with my generous way of proceeding, and -that she was sure her mistress would not fail to see me next day, -personally to return thanks for my kindness. - -As soon as Marcia had left me, I determined to avail myself of this -opportunity to see my lady in St. Cyprian-street again; for although I -had such good reason to believe that she was a cheat and her brother a -bully, yet I should have been glad to have found myself mistaken; -forgetting, therefore, the scurvy trick they had played me, I hastened -towards their house, and perceived my charmer at a window, whence I was -soon remarked. She made signs to me that she had company, but that I was -not to go away; I stopped, and about a quarter of an hour after, saw her -go out alone. I followed her at a distance, and observed her enter the -great church to shorten her way to Patten street, whence she went into -Mercer’s-street, and entered a shop, making signs to me to follow her, -which I obeyed. How admirably did she then play her part! She burst into -tears, which, I suppose, she had always ready at command, and -complaining to Heaven that she had so troublesome a brother, she assured -me of the extreme pain she had suffered on my account, swearing over and -over again that it had not been her fault that so untoward an adventure -had occurred to me: she then told me, that she hoped to recompense me -for my late unpleasant night by assuring me of a pleasant one; that her -brother was to set out immediately for the country, where he would -remain for at least two days, and she trusted, therefore, that I would -not refuse her invitation to spend that evening with her. She then spoke -to me with so much tenderness, that I was completely convinced of her -sincerity, and was weak enough to promise to see her at her own house -again as soon as it was dusk. - -As she had entered this shop, she could not make up her mind to leave -it, without asking the prices and cheapening some trifles, as is -customary with women; and she agreed to purchase some of them for a -hundred and fifty reals; but instead of paying for them, she said to the -shopkeeper, “you will be kind enough to allow me to take these articles -with me now, and give me credit until to-morrow, when I will send my -waiting-woman to pay you.” The shopkeeper, who either did not know her -at all, or possibly was but too well acquainted with her, refused to -trust her; upon which Signor Guzman, always ready to please the ladies, -stepped forward and said to him, “my good friend, do you not perceive -that the lady is only in jest; she has not this sum at hand, but I carry -her purse, and have the honour to be her steward:” thus saying, I drew -it from my pocket in the most graceful manner, and paid the shopkeeper -his demand. After this we parted. “Adieu, my chicken,” said she, in a -languishing and tender manner; “remember that I shall expect to see you -at nine in the evening, but I absolutely forbid you to provide any -supper, for I must insist on being allowed to treat you this time.” - -The hour of rendezvous, which I expected with the greatest impatience, -having at length arrived, I set out towards my charmer’s house, at the -risk of passing another night there in the tub. I now approached her -door again with as much eagerness as I had ran from it in the morning. I -made the signal we had agreed upon; but no answer. I repeated it; but -neither saw nor heard any one. I then began to fancy that the brother -had been informed of his sister’s design, and had not set off for the -country. Thinking it possible, however, that I had not given the signal -loud enough, which was to knock with a stone at the bottom of the lower -window, I redoubled my strokes; but I might as well have attempted to -make the bridge of Alcantara hear me. I then knocked several times at -the door, and put my ear to the key-hole to listen; but finding that -there was not the least noise to be heard in the house, I remained in -the street until midnight, quite at a loss to account for so -extraordinary a silence. - -My patience, however, began at length to fail me, and I was just on the -point of returning, when I observed a company of armed men coming -towards me; and took the precaution to retire to the end of the street, -that I might notice them unobserved. They stopped at the door of my -nymph’s house, and rapped loudly; and as the people in the house -persisted in not answering them, they began to thunder at the door with -their staves, and would soon have shivered it to atoms, if a servant had -not appeared at one of the windows, and asked what was their business. -“Open,” cried an Alguazil, “open, at the summons of Justice.” At these -terrible words, I felt so alarmed, that I was tempted to scamper off as -fast as my legs would carry me, not knowing but it was for me they -looked; a culprit cannot behold these sort of people without emotion. My -courage returned, however, when I reflected that I could only be -considered the dupe of my princess and her pretended brother, whose -laudable conduct, had, according to all appearance, attracted the -attention of justice. - -I even ventured to approach the house, as soon as the Alguazil and his -myrmidons had entered it; and joining the crowd of neighbours who had -collected in the street to see what was going on, I heard one among them -say to the rest, “They call themselves brother and sister; but they must -trace their pedigree from Adam, for they are no otherwise related. The -man is an adventurer of Cordova, who for some months past, has lived -here at Toledo with this woman who was formerly an actress at Seville, -at the expence of such young fools as fell into their hands; but -unfortunately for these two honest folks, they have been practising -their knaveries upon a scrivener, who has played them this trick to be -avenged on them. - -At this relation, all the neighbours laughed heartily at the expence of -the scrivener, whom they knew to be but newly married: but, although -they were so glad to find that this limb of the law had been duped, they -did not the less applaud his vengeance on that account, so true is it -that nobody ever pities persons who are detected in dishonesty. It -seemed even a most agreeable comedy for the witnesses of this adventure, -when they saw the Alguazil and his officers leading to prison the lady -all in disorder, accompanied by her gallant well bound with cords. For -my own part, though I could not well forget her scurvy treatment of me -in the tub, yet I could not feel any pleasure in seeing this miserable -woman in her present deplorable situation: I was the only one of all the -spectators who felt any pity for her, though I had most reason to feel -none. Rejoiced, however, that I could no longer be her dupe, I returned -to my inn, fool enough still to flatter myself that the other lady would -not deceive me; but I waited, in vain, the whole of the next day at home -for her: I did not even see her servant again: so that being no longer -able to doubt that I was also gulled in that quarter, I resolved that in -future I would be more upon my guard against the fair sex. - - - - -CHAP. XVII. - -_Guzman takes a false alarm, and leaves Toledo precipitately. Another -gallantry. Origin of the proverb, “at Malagon, a thief in every house, -but in that of the Alcaid two, the father and the son.”_ - - -Thus ended my gallantries at Toledo; and to complete my misfortunes, -when I arrived at my inn, I met an Alguazil there, who, I was informed, -had just arrived from Madrid, and had been making very particular -inquiries of the landlord for a certain _quidam_, of whom he was in -search. I did not hear this without uneasiness; nevertheless, alarmed as -I was, I managed to put a bold face on the matter; but I was so agitated -the whole of the night that I could not get a wink of sleep. I rose -early the next morning, still thinking of this cursed Alguazil, and went -out to walk in the Zocodover. I had not gone once round the square, -before I heard a man crying, _Two mules returning to Almagro_. - -I determined to avail myself of this opportunity, and resolved in a -moment to hire these two mules, as though I had foreseen that I should -find a company of soldiers at Almagro on the point of departure for -Italy. I spoke to the crier, and we soon agreed; after which I sent my -lackey to pay my landlord, and to fetch my baggage, which consisted of a -portmanteau, in which was my fashionable dress, some fine linen, and -what remained of my money. As soon as he rejoined me, I gave him one of -the mules, mounted myself on the other, and rejoiced at having found so -favourable an opportunity of leaving Toledo, where I could no longer -remain in peace, I took the route towards Orgas, where I slept that -night. - -At the inn where we stopped there chanced to be a very pretty -servant-maid, who, from her wit and obliging manners, seemed so superior -to her condition that I commenced a conversation with her, in the course -of which I could not refrain from plainly expressing the amorous desires -I felt towards her. So far from being startled at this declaration, she -anticipated my wishes, and went so far as to promise that she would -steal into my chamber in the night. “But, my darling,” said I, “can I be -sure that you will not deceive me? Can I rely upon this promise?” -“Certainly,” answered she; “you are too handsome a young gentleman for -me to wish to impose on; rely on it, I will keep my word.” - -I slept that night in a chamber in which there were some oats kept, the -door of which I took care to leave open, that my damsel might come in at -what hour she pleased. I fell asleep while I lay waiting for her, -though it is not very usual to think of sleeping on such occasions; but -the uneasiness caused by the Alguazil the preceding night not having -permitted me to take any repose, I felt more inclined to rest than to -make love. I was soon awoke, however, by hearing a slight noise in the -room, which I did not doubt was my fair one; and anxious to receive her -with the attention that her punctual observance of her promise seemed to -deserve, “Approach, my charmer,” said I, in a low voice, “I have been -waiting impatiently for you.” No one answered. I thought the jade -behaved thus to provoke my desires the more, and with this conviction I -leant half my body out of bed, and stretched out my arms to seize her; -and my hands lighted on something exceedingly soft, but of such a -softness as revolted against my ideas. In fact, it was the ear of an -ass, who had left his stable and entered my chamber, attracted by the -smell of the oats that were kept there. This animal, whose head was -almost as low as the floor when I touched him, raised it on a sudden, as -a punishment for my sins, and gave me so violent a blow on the chin, -that it loosened all my teeth, and filled my mouth with blood. I rose -from my bed swearing, and with the intention of running my sword through -this accursed beast, who, fortunately, however, for him, was frightened -at the noise I made, and took to his heels. I was content, therefore, to -lie down again, with curses against love, and renewing the oath I had -already made, to be more cautious of its snares. - -A few moments before day-light I was just beginning to doze again, when -the muleteer entered my chamber to give me notice that breakfast was -ready, and that if I wished to reach Malagon at any reasonable hour that -day, I had no time to lose. I was soon up and dressed; and after having -eaten a good breakfast of what the host chose to provide for me, I was -just going to mount my mule, when she directed a violent kick at me, -which would certainly have crippled me for the remainder of my days had -I been at a greater distance; but I was luckily so close to the plaguy -beast that she could not do me much harm. “The devil take all females!” -cried I; “I was born to be ill-treated by them.” To divert the -companions of my journey, and to amuse myself, I related to them on the -road the particulars of my late adventure with the ass. This recital -seemed particularly diverting and interesting to the muleteer, who told -us, after having laughed his bellyful, that Luzia, which was the -servant’s name, had been more faithful to him: that she had passed the -greater part of the night with him, and he gave me this piece of -information for my guidance in future: that the servants in inns were -always considered the right of the muleteers, as a recompence for the -service they do the landlord in bringing travellers to his house. - -We arrived at Malagon at night, whence I set out again the next day, -without any other scurvy trick of fortune except having lost one bottle -of wine, which I missed when we had got about three or four leagues from -the town. “As I live,” quoth I, “this theft brings to my recollection, -and verifies the old proverb which declares, that _in Malagon there is a -thief in every house, but in that of the Alcaid two, the father and the -son_. Upon this the muleteer asked me if I knew the origin of this -proverb. I answered that I did not, and that I should be glad to hear -it. If I may believe an old man from whom I had it, replied he, this is -the story. - -“In the year 1236, when Don Fernando, surnamed the Holy, King of Castile -and Leon, was one day at Beneventum, news was brought him that the -Christian troops had entered Cordova, having already possessed -themselves of the suburbs called Axarquia; but that the Moors, to whom -the place belonged, and who were very superior in numbers, were -preparing to repulse them. This monarch, animated by his zeal for his -religion, resolved to fly to the relief of the Christians, and sent -notice of his design to Don Alvaro Perez de Castro, and Don Ordonis -Alvaroz, who were both at Marts. These two lords, who were at that time -the most illustrious cavaliers in Castile, instantly repaired to the -King, who immediately set out as he had determined. As he was only -accompanied by about a hundred men, he issued orders to all his warriors -and vassals, who might be dispersed in the different towns and villages -under his dominion, to follow him to Cordova. These orders would have -been executed willingly, and without delay, had it been practicable; but -it was then just in the middle of the month of January, and the heavy -snow and rains had fallen in such abundance as to cause all the rivers -and springs to overflow: so that the troops were not able to advance, -but were obliged to halt at every place they came to. - -“So great a number of them were under the necessity of stopping at -Malagon, that one soldier was obliged to be quartered in every house, -and two in those of the more opulent citizens. The commander of these -troops, and his son, who was also an officer, chanced to fall to the lot -of the Alcaid. Though this was a very considerable town, yet there were -now so many people in it, and the times were so hard, that provisions -became extremely scarce and dear, and as the soldiers were not able to -procure them at such excessive rates, they began to steal, to prevent -their dying with hunger. While these things were going on, a merry -conceited peasant who had just passed through the town in his way to -Toledo, met a troop of cavaliers on the road near Orgas, who asked him -whence he came. “From Malagon,” replied he; “and what news from thence?” -inquired one of the cavaliers. The peasant made this answer, which has -since become a proverb, “at Malagon there is a thief in every house, and -in that of the Alcaid two, the father and the son.” - -“It is most unfair,” continued the muleteer, “that this proverb should -be applied to the inhabitants of Malagon, since they were the persons -robbed, and not those that robbed others. On the contrary, I will -maintain to their credit, that from Madrid to Seville there is no inn -where travellers are better treated and less imposed on than at Malagon. -I do not pretend to say that there are not knaves in that place, as well -as elsewhere; but I assure you there are many worse in this country.” - -Just as the muleteer ended his discourse, another muleteer of his -acquaintance came up to us, of whom I asked what was going on at -Almagro, whence he had just come, and he informed me that there was a -company of soldiers there, newly raised, and destined, he believed, for -Italy. I was enraptured at this news, and felt disposed to forgive -fortune, now that she presented me with so favourable an opportunity of -gratifying my violent desire to go to Genoa, for all the hardships that -she had hitherto made me endure. - - - - -CHAP. XVIII. - -_Guzman offers himself to serve in the Company newly raised. His -reception by the Captain, and how they afterwards lived together._ - - -All my fear was, that the muleteer had been misinformed; but on entering -Almagro, I was soon convinced that he had told the truth. I perceived a -flag suspended from a window of one of the houses where I supposed the -Captain had taken up his residence. - -I proceeded, therefore, to an inn in the neighbourhood, where I took up -my lodging for that night; and in the morning I dressed myself in my -best suit of clothes, and finest linen, and went to church, where I -heard mass, and from thence to wait upon the Captain, whom I saluted -with an air calculated to make him believe me a young man of quality, -telling him that I had come express to Almagro to have the honour of -serving the King by joining his company. My behaviour and appearance had -the desired effect of casting a mist before the eyes of this officer, -who was an extremely well-bred man. He received me, therefore, in the -most polite manner, testifying his joy at finding me disposed to enter -so early in the career of glory. He then thanked me for the preference I -gave his company, which would be proud to receive among them a cavalier -of noble race, which he could easily perceive I was. “All I regret,” -added he, “is, that all the posts are filled up; but, though I cannot, -therefore, offer you a commission, you shall at least share mine with -me, and we will live together as though you were Captain as well as -myself.” - -To convince me that these excessive civilities were not mere -compliments, he insisted on my staying to dinner, and regaled me in good -style. He did not, however, forget to charge one of his servants, in -private, to inquire of mine who I was. My page, who had frequently heard -me style myself Don Juan de Guzman of the house of Toral, answered this -question by saying that this was the name I bore, and that was all he -knew of me. This was reported to the Captain, who most firmly believed -that I was certainly one of the younger branches of that illustrious -house. The next day I invited him, in my turn, to dine with me at my -inn, and spared no expense to render the entertainment as complete as if -I had been in reality the cavalier my valet had represented me to be. I -did not stop here, but gave so many other dinners to the Captain and the -principal officers of the company, that it is no wonder they all -esteemed me, and considered me an honour to their corps. The Captain, -in particular, was so extremely attentive to me, that I was frequently -quite confused at his kind professions of regard. It is true, that to -secure a continuance of his friendship, I sent him, almost every day, -some little present by my page, which he was so kind as to accept of as -a mark of my affection. - -In the mean time my purse, having no flux and reflux like the sea, began -to empty itself visibly, without any prospect of being filled again. -What with my clothes, my gallantries, and my travelling expenses, in -addition to these entertainments and presents, I had already squandered -away more than half of my reals, without reckoning what I had lost at -play with the officers, the majority of whom knew better than myself how -to take advantage in gaming of every turn of fortune in their favour. I -had still, however, a sufficient sum remaining to support my assumed -character for some time longer, when orders were given for marching, -and I followed the company, in quality of a volunteer, to the coast, -where we had orders to wait until the galleys which were to transport us -into Italy, with other troops, arrived at Barcelona, where we were to -embark. But it was God’s pleasure that this embarkment should not take -place till three months afterwards. This completed my ruin; for being -willing to continue to live with the Captain and other officers as I had -begun, I was soon compelled to make use of my _corps de reserve_; I mean -my thirty pistoles, which were yet untouched, and which I soon ran -through with as little frugality as my reals. When I found my resources -thus at an end, I was obliged to sell my fine clothes and linen, and to -get rid of my valet, who went to seek his fortune elsewhere; and having -no money to game with, I ceased to associate with the officers, who -guessed but too rightly the reasons that obliged me thus to alter my -conduct towards them. - -Reflections now came thick upon the prodigal child; and though I had not -given way to them while my money lasted, now that it was gone, at least -a million presented themselves to my imagination. I recalled to mind all -my past follies, and reproached myself as severely as a professed -pedagogue could have done, resolving to manage better for the future, as -though I had still several bags of reals in my portmanteau. I chiefly -repented of having given such fine entertainments to the Captain, who no -longer invited me to dinner as usual, now that all my money was gone. -The other officers, thinking that I had nothing more to lose, turned -their backs upon me. The serjeants, who had before been in the habit of -visiting me as a second Captain, and who had considered themselves -honoured by my condescending to converse with them, no longer came near -me. There was not a single soldier but avoided me; and I question if -even the blackguards that followed them would have deigned to associate -with me, had I been inclined to have been their comrade. But it was but -just, after such useless extravagance, that I was punished as I -deserved. If there was any thing that could console me in my unfortunate -situation it was, that during the whole course of my prosperity I had -not committed the least knavery. This gave my Captain a good opinion of -me, who, believing as firmly as ever that I was a young man of high -birth, still retained some esteem for me in my misery. He had himself -too well profited by my foolish conduct not to forgive me from the -bottom of his soul; and when I called upon him one evening he received -me much as usual, without taking any notice of the situation of my -affairs, though he was in reality much affected; and he could not avoid -saying, to me, one day that I was more melancholy than usual, “My dear -Guzman, I should indeed be hard-hearted and ungrateful were I insensible -to your troubles, after the many proofs you have given me of your -friendship. But you have yet to learn that my fortune is but little -better than your own; and I am sincerely afflicted that I am utterly -incapable of convincing you of my good wishes by my actions. All I can -pretend to offer you in your present distress is a lodging in my house, -and the table of my servants; for myself, I am obliged to dine out, from -my utter incapacity to receive my friends at home.” - -This proposal, which he did not make without a blush, was tendered in so -obliging a manner that I accepted it. Pride becomes nobody, but still -less a man who has no money, and knows not where to lay his head; it is -a cameleon, which lives only on the wind. From his companion I was now -become his servant. But I owe him this piece of justice: instead of -treating me like a common servant, he behaved in the most considerate -manner towards me. When he wished me to do any thing for him, he -requested instead of commanding it; and, on my side, I was always more -anxious than the other domestics to make myself useful to him, that I -might preserve his friendship, and not eat the bread of idleness; and I -so completely succeeded in my desire to please him, by anticipating his -every wish, that, believing me to be faithful, and even prudent, though -I had sufficiently proved myself the reverse by my former dissipations, -he resolved to make me acquainted with the present state of his affairs, -to convince me that he placed entire confidence in me. - -He confessed to me then that he was so much reduced, that a few jewels -which he possessed were his only resource. “Can you guess,” added he, -“what has reduced me to this extremity?”--the time that was consumed in -soliciting my employment, and the great presents I was obliged to make -to obtain it. Yes, were I to begin life afresh, I would renounce such a -profession, notwithstanding the desire that every Spanish gentleman -naturally has to acquire glory in the army. I cannot reflect on what I -have submitted to without blushing; for, besides the money that I have -expended, how many whole days have I passed with my hat in my hand, -soliciting, flattering, bowing to the ground, kicking my heels at -levees, sometimes to speak to one person, sometimes to meet with -another, cringing, acting a servant’s part, and a thousand other -meannesses of which I am ashamed! But the most provoking treatment that -I met with, and which I felt most sensibly, was on the day preceding -that on which I had been promised my commission. After having consumed -more than eight months in solicitations in the manner I have just -described to you, I accompanied my patron as he came out of the palace, -and conducted him, with the most profound respect, to the steps of his -carriage, which was in waiting for him, but unfortunately put my hat on -a moment before the carriage drove off. The Minister noticed this, -darted a haughty look at me, and soon convinced me that this accident -had offended him, for my commission was not delivered to me for above -four months after. I even ran the risk of losing both my trouble and my -money by not obtaining it at all. - -“God deliver every honest man,” continued he, raising his eyes towards -Heaven, “from persons who possess power and bad dispositions united! How -blind are these idols of the Court, who expect to be adored like -deities! They must surely have forgotten that they are but miserable -comedians, appointed to play principal characters, and that at the end -of the piece, that is to say, of their lives, they must leave the stage -like ourselves, and be thought of no more.” - -I was so affected by this relation, that I felt more interested in my -Captain’s misfortunes than my own; and assured him, in the most -impressive terms my heart could dictate, that there was nothing I would -not undertake for him, and that I would willingly expose my life to be -of service to him. He thanked me for my good wishes. “But what -assistance,” added he, smiling, “can I expect from you in your present -condition?” “That we shall see,” answered I; “for though I am young, -necessity inspires wit, and may supply my deficiency of experience. -Leave it to me to find you the means of living at ease until we embark.” -The Captain smiled again at these words, and, without making any reply, -shook his head, to shew me that he placed but little reliance on -professions dictated by my inconsiderate zeal to serve him. Had he -known my talents he would have formed a different opinion; but I soon -obliged him to do me justice. - -As the galleys were a long while ere they arrived, we were obliged to be -billeted, upon short allowance, in the different villages, and -frequently moved our quarters. At every house I left a dozen billets, -which brought us in at least twelve reals each, and from some of the -more opulent inhabitants fifty. For my own part, I gained admittance -into every house at free cost, without quartering myself on any in -particular; and I never failed to leave proofs at each that I had the -perfect use of my hands. I really think that I would even have carried -off water from their wells, rather than have gone away empty-handed. By -these means I so completely re-established my Captain’s finances, that -he was enabled to keep open table again as before; and the dexterity of -my hands supplied him abundantly with good cheer, at a cheap rate: -fowls, capons, geese, pullets, and pigeons, fell as thick as hail into -the kitchen, and hams were not wanting to complete the larder. - -If by chance the master of a house happened to catch me in the fact, in -case it were but a small theft I made a jest of it, and though a -greater, the worst that could happen to me was to be carried before my -Captain, who reprimanded me in a severe manner, and sometimes caused me -to be imprisoned in a chamber, where I received by his orders a hundred -lashes which I never felt at all, though I always made the room ring -with cries as if I were being torn in pieces, though I was never so much -as touched all the while. This satisfied the injured parties, and saved -the honour of the officer. Sometimes the complainants themselves would -intercede with the Captain on my behalf, conjuring him out of pity to -forgive me. - -Jests like these, however, generally grow serious. After these petty -thefts, I was not content until I ventured upon greater. For this -purpose, I selected five or six of the most resolute fellows in our -company; we all disguised ourselves, and went on the highway, where we -stopped several travellers, who, by immediately surrendering their -money, prevented the crimes which their resistance might have caused us -to commit. Our Captain was no sooner informed of these dangerous -proceedings, than, dreading the consequences both to himself and me, he -positively forbade my carrying on this game any longer, desiring me to -confine myself to more innocent amusement for the future, such as -finding false musters, in which science I was a perfect adept. By a -false beard, or a patch on the eye, I could easily make the same soldier -receive pay three times over, without detection. In short, I became so -useful to the Captain, that he confessed to me that my industry alone -was worth much more to him than the whole income that he derived from -his Company. - - - - -CHAP. XIX. - -_Guzman proceeds with the Company to Barcelona, where he plays a trick -upon a Jeweller, and embarks for Italy._ - - -The galleys at length arrived at Barcelona. As soon as we received this -intelligence, we marched thither to embark; but as the wind was not -favourable, we were obliged to remain a considerable time in that city, -where something more than my usual address was necessary to enable us to -live in plenty at so cheap a rate as before. I soon remarked that my -Captain was relapsing into his former despondency, and I easily guessed -the cause: well might I know the nature of his complaint, since I was -the physician who had already cured him of it. - -For this once, however, I felt at a loss how to prescribe, being -entirely unacquainted with the map of Barcelona, and the disposition of -its inhabitants. I did not, however, forget to tender my exertions as a -specific to my patient, who replied, in a serious manner, that we had no -longer peasants to deal with, and that I must be very cautious what I -did. Difficulties tended only to quicken my apprehension, and an idea -occurred to me which I resolved to follow. I have already told you that -the Captain had some jewels which he reserved for a rainy day. Amongst -these jewels was a gold Reliquary, set round with diamonds, which he -intended to dispose of for subsistence until we embarked. I requested -him to shew it me, and asked if he could place so much confidence in me -as to entrust it to me for a day or two, adding that I would return it -to him with usury. “Oh! Oh! my little Guzman,” answered he with a smile, -“what piece of roguery have you now in contemplation?” “You have only,” -replied I, “to let me have the Reliquary, and keep up your spirits. If, -notwithstanding all the precautions that I can take to perform safely -the trick that I have in my head, I should be so unfortunate as to meet -with any check from justice, I can at least pledge myself to save your -honor, and to bear all the ill consequences of it myself.” - -My Captain could hold out no longer, but gave me the Reliquary, saying, -that he wished me success in my enterprize, whatever it might be. -Nobody, indeed, had more interest in it than himself, to whom all the -profit would accrue. I put the jewel into a purse which I hid in my -bosom, the string of which I tied to the buttons of my doublet; after -which I went to the first Jeweller’s I could meet, who, fortunately for -me, was well known in the city as a noted usurer. I asked him if he was -inclined to purchase a fine Reliquary. I shewed it him, and could easily -perceive that he liked it very well, although he pretended not to think -much of it. I did not wait until he asked me the usual questions, but -told him that I was a soldier in a company newly raised, and that was -destined for Italy; that I had spent all my money, and having no other -resource, found myself reduced to dispose of this jewel, that I might -not be entirely destitute. “You are at liberty,” added I, “to go and -ascertain from my Captain, from the other officers, and even soldiers, -who I am; they will inform you that I am styled Don Juan de Guzman: upon -their report of me, you can make up your mind whether you will buy the -Reliquary or not. While you are making these inquiries I will go and -wait for you on the quay, where I have a little business to settle.” - -The Jeweller, who was not willing to allow this jewel to escape him, -took his cloak immediately, and hastened to the place where I told him -we lodged, and did not fail to question several of the officers and -soldiers, as to the character of a certain Don Juan de Guzman who -described himself as belonging to their company. Every man of them (for -I was generally beloved) assured him I was a young man of quality, who -intended to pass over to Italy with them, and that they had known me -make a most brilliant figure. In short, they spoke so well of me, that -he soon returned to look for me on the quay, where he had no great -difficulty to find me, for I had no other business there but to wait for -and entrap him. He requested me, as soon as he came up, to allow him to -see the Reliquary again, which he was come to treat for. “Willingly,” -replied I, “but let us retire a little, as I have no wish to have a -crowd assembled about us.” - -I then drew the jewel out of my purse and handed it to him: he looked at -it on all sides, and after having examined it minutely, asked me what I -would have for it. I told him two hundred crowns; and though that was -not half its value, the old usurer pretended to be quite astonished at -such a price, and began to tell me that the gold was by no means of the -finest quality. Besides which he found great fault with the workmanship, -as well as with the diamonds: nevertheless, he offered me one half, and -I was surprised in my turn. “That will not do,” cried I, “you take -advantage of my situation; but distressed as I am for money, I declare -that you shall not have it for less than a hundred and fifty crowns.” - -He still continued to make so many objections, that I was at last -contented to conclude the bargain at a hundred and twenty, and he -requested me to accompany him to his shop to receive the money. This I -refused, telling him that I expected a person to meet me on the quay, -and, therefore, could not leave it; that if he would return home and -procure the sum agreed on, he would find me again in the same place. The -Jeweller, finding that I could not be prevailed on to accompany him, and -being apprehensive that the person whom I expected might be another -Jeweller, whom I had appointed to meet on the same subject, ran home -with great haste, lest he should be deprived of his bargain before his -return. - -The old rogue soon returned to me again, quite out of breath, bringing -with him in a small bag the hundred and twenty crowns, which he counted -into my hand. I requested the bag of him in which I put the money, and -offered him in exchange the purse that the Reliquary was kept in; but -affecting to find great difficulty in untying the strings, which I had -purposely well fastened, I snatched, as though from impatience, a knife -which I observed in a sheath at his girdle, and cut them asunder. -Although this action seemed to surprise him a little, he was so far from -guessing the cause, that he departed and walked towards home, well -satisfied with his purchase, and very far from suspecting the snare that -I had laid for him. - -After having allowed him to proceed a few steps, I beckoned to one of my -comrades, as great a rogue as myself, whom I had stationed near at hand -so as to be ready when called for, and desired him to carry the crowns -to our Captain. Then I ran as fast as I could after my Jeweller, for I -had not lost sight of him, and overtook him at a part where the roads -met, where there happened to be some soldiers assembled, to whom I -pointed him out, crying aloud, “stop thief, fellow soldiers, stop thief! -for God’s sake stop that old rascal there, who has just robbed me; let -him not escape!” The soldiers, some of whom belonged to our own -company, stopped the poor Jeweller immediately, asking him how he had -given me cause to complain thus of him. He was at first so bewildered -with fear and astonishment, that he had not the power of uttering a -word. Had he spoken, however, it would not have availed him, for his -voice would have been drowned by that of his accuser: nobody was to be -heard but myself, who kept up a continued roar; and to make more -impression on the soldiers, I fell down on my knees before them, and -forcing some tears into my eyes, implored their assistance. - -“Gentlemen,” said I, “you see before you in that old rogue one of the -greatest hypocrites in Spain. I chanced just now to be standing by him -on the quay, where he remarked that I had a purse in my bosom, and asked -me what was in it? a Reliquary, answered I, which my master the Captain -accidentally left at the bed’s-head this morning, and that I have taken -care of to give it to him again; upon this, the old rascal whom you have -secured requested me in a civil manner to shew it him, telling me that -he was a Goldsmith, and was curious in jewels. I satisfied his -curiosity, and he asked me if I would dispose of this Reliquary. That -cannot be, said I, for it is my master’s; at the same time I replaced it -in my purse which was tied to my button; whereupon my thief, while he -amused me with words, drew forth a knife which he had in a sheath at his -girdle, and suddenly cut the strings, the ends of which are still to be -seen. Take the trouble. Gentlemen, of searching him, I beg of you,” -added I, “and you will find the purse containing the jewel somewhere -about his person, for I have followed him so closely, that he has not -had an opportunity of otherwise disposing of it.” - -The soldiers instantly began to search him: they drew forth the purse -containing the Reliquary from his bosom where he had placed it, and -perceiving that the strings had really been cut, they no longer doubted -the Goldsmith’s guilt: in vain did he protest and swear that I had sold -it him; they would not believe him, it being so extremely improbable -that an old and experienced Jeweller could consent to purchase so rich a -Reliquary of a young soldier, without suspecting that it must have been -stolen. “Once more,” cried the accused, “I assure you that I paid this -young man for the Reliquary a hundred and twenty crowns in gold, which I -reckoned into his hand, and which he must now have about him: you have -only to search him also to find these gold coins, which I paid him only -a few minutes since.” The soldiers, to satisfy him, rummaged my pockets -out; and finding no money about me, they began to revile him most -unmercifully, and even to beat him. Nevertheless, as he insisted on -being conducted to a Judge, they carried us both before one. - -Here I related my case in the same manner as I had reported it to the -soldiers, who, upon being interrogated by the Judge, said more than was -sufficient to convince him that the Jeweller had really seized this -Reliquary from me by force; in addition to which, this citizen being so -well known as a covetous man who would not scruple at a trifle, they -were the more disposed to think him guilty. The Magistrate, however, out -of consideration for his family, which consisted of some of the first -persons in the city, was content to reprimand him severely, and -delivered the jewel into my hands again, desiring me to carry it to my -master, which I did immediately. - -When I related this adventure to the Captain, he returned thanks to -Heaven that it had ended so well: he had feared, and with some reason, -that I should have come but scurvily off in so slippery an affair, and -my boldness made him tremble. Although he was the only person that -profited by my rogueries, yet he resolved to get rid of the rogue, -fearing that I should at last ruin him as well as myself by some unlucky -adventure. He was impatient for the day when we should embark, which at -length arrived. The galleys left the harbour of Barcelona, and -transported us in safety to Genoa, where we were no sooner landed, than -my Captain said to me in private, “my dear Guzman, we are now in the -country whither you have been so extremely anxious to come,” for I had -communicated to him my intentions of visiting my kindred; “we must now, -with your leave, begin to think of parting, for I am not more afraid of -all the devils together than of the consequences of these legerdemain -tricks of yours: farewell, my friend,” added he, putting a pistole into -my hand, “I much regret that I am not in a situation to make you a -better acknowledgment for your services.” Thus saying, he departed, -leaving me so thunderstruck with his compliment, that I could not utter -a word. But what could I have said to him? was it necessary to represent -to him all the dangers I had faced on his account? he was well aware of -them, for what else was it that caused my dismissal. I could not be -surprised at his behaviour. I had only the common fate of rogues, who, -like vipers and scorpions, are made use of, while any thing useful can -be extracted from them, and afterwards thrown to the dogs. - - - - -CHAP. XX. - -_Guzman having arrived at Genoa, resolves to present himself before his -kindred there. How he was received by them._ - - -As soon as I had quitted the captain, or rather when I found myself -abandoned by him, my only thought was how to console myself under this -misfortune, and I soon forgot it, when I reflected that I was now at -Genoa, where I had so long desired to be. I inquired in the city about -my relations, and was informed that they were the most rich and powerful -persons in that republic. I was overjoyed at this news, for I did not -doubt that I should receive the greatest assistance from them, when they -knew that I was a branch of their noble family. - -I looked about for another inn where I could live thriftily, until I -should be rather a more decent figure to visit my relations. My pistole -could not do much for me, part of which I was obliged to expend in -procuring a pair of shoes which I was sadly in want of; my clothes were -also much worn as well as my stockings and hat, so that my whole dress -was in a ruinous condition. “So much the better,” said I: “my relations -can never suffer me to remain long in such a state to be a disgrace to -them. Let me quickly, therefore, make myself known to them, that I may -the sooner be relieved from my misery.” - -I then immediately set forward with this intention, and asked the way to -their house, boasting to every one I spoke to that I had the honour to -be of their family, which was soon reported to them by some of their -enemies, who, thinking that the sight of a lad so wretchedly equipped -would afford them no great pleasure, were the more anxious to -communicate to them the agreeable news. My generous relations were -almost desperate. They looked upon my poverty as an infamous disgrace to -them; and I verily believe, that could they, without danger to -themselves, have caused me to be poniarded, they would not have -hesitated a moment, for such practices were but too common in that -country. But, as I was already talked of all over the city, where my -father had been so well known, if I had disappeared all of a sudden, the -cause would have been easily guessed. - -Do not be surprised, reader, at my ill opinion of my relations; had you -been in their place I do not think that you would have behaved much -better towards me. Suppose yourself for a moment as rich as they were, -and tell me candidly how you would have received a beggar, who comes up -to you as suddenly as if he had just fallen from the clouds, and -salutes you in the middle of the street saying, good morrow, uncle, or -brother, I am a son of your brother, or of your mother; would you not be -extremely mortified? and yet I was so imprudent as to address them in -this public manner: thus I never saluted one of them that did not treat -me with the titles of rascal and impostor, accompanying these epithets -with threats; “take our advice,” said they, “and do not remain much -longer at Genoa, lest you pass but an unpleasant time here.” In vain did -I name my father, protesting that he ranked among the noble Genoese; -they seemed all to have forgotten that there had ever been such a person -in existence. - -One evening I met a venerable looking old man, who accosted me in a -polite and insinuating manner: “my son,” said he, “is it not you who -have reason to complain of certain titled personages who have not chosen -to acknowledge you for one of their noble blood?” I answered in the -affirmative, and told him who was my father. “I recollect him well,” -replied the old man, “and there are certainly in this city several of -the principal nobles who are his relations. I can even introduce you to -a banker who must have been a most intimate friend of your father’s, and -who to-morrow, for it is too late to-day, will, I doubt not, be happy to -satisfy you in every particular concerning your family. In the mean -time,” continued he, “come and take up your lodging at my house: I feel -quite indignant at the behaviour of your cousins towards you, who ought -rather to have received you with the greatest affection: but follow me, -and be assured that the banker will put it in your power to be fully -avenged of them for their hard-heartedness.” - -I accepted the old man’s offer of a lodging in his house by returning -thanks to heaven by so fortunate a rencounter. His appearance was such -that I did not in the least mistrust him. He had a good natured serious -air, his bald head and white beard rendering his appearance truly -venerable; he walked with a staff, and wore a long robe; in fact I -looked upon him as another St. Paul. When we arrived at his house, which -appeared to me like a magnificent hotel, a servant came to meet him to -take off his long robe; but the old gentleman from an excess of -politeness would not part with it, but sent the servant away, after -having communicated something to him in Italian, which was so much -Hebrew to me. He then conducted me into a large parlour, where we -conversed concerning the affairs of Spain for above an hour, and from -them proceeded insensibly to those of our own family, respecting which -he seemed extremely curious, questioning me more particularly concerning -my mother; and I answered him in the most cautious manner. This -discourse was beginning to grow tedious, when the servant returned; -they had another short conversation together in Italian, which I -understood no better than the former. But immediately afterwards, the -good old man addressed himself to me in Spanish: “I suppose,” said he, -“you have of course supped, you must be weary, and it is time to be a -bed. We shall meet again in the morning.” Then turning to his servant, -“Antonio,” continued he, “shew this gentleman to the finest chamber in -the house.” - -I had much more inclination to eat than to sleep, for I was literally -half dying with hunger; having unfortunately dined very sparingly at my -inn that day; for my pistole was just at an end. That I might not, -however, presume upon the goodness of an host who seemed so disposed to -be of service to me, I followed his servant, as if I had a good -bellyful, and was carried through an enfilade of seven or eight rooms -paved with alabaster, each vying with the others in magnificence. From -thence we entered a gallery which led into a fine chamber in which there -was a very rich bed with superb tapestry. “You see your chamber,” said -Antonio, “and the bed that is destined for you: none are allowed to -sleep here but princes and some few of my master’s nearest relatives.” - -After having allowed me to admire the richness of the furniture for a -while, this servant offered to undress me, but I declined his assistance -for very good reasons; my ragged shirt was by no means in a state to be -exhibited; and in addition to this, the rest of my clothes were now of -so very fine a texture, that they required a hand more interested in -their welfare than his was, to take them off delicately. Either through -malice, however, or that he thought I declined his good natured offer -merely from politeness, he returned to the charge, and seeming -determined to assist me in spite of my teeth, he caught hold of me, and -drew off one of my sleeves so suddenly, that had I not prevented him -with my other hand, he would undoubtedly have torn it to pieces. I then -entreated him in a peevish tone to leave me to my rest, and he prevented -my further anger by desisting as I desired. I retired to the side of the -bed, threw off my rags which were held together only by a few laces, and -jumped into bed, the sheets of which were clean and completely perfumed. -This done, I told the servant he might take away the candle. “I am not -so inconsiderate,” replied he: “it would be the means of causing you to -pass a very uneasy night; for it is very common for large bats, which -are very numerous in this country, to conceal themselves in chambers -with so lofty a ceiling, and you will be much disturbed by them if you -remain without light. Add to this,” continued he, “there are certain -evil spirits that frequent the principal houses in this city, by whom -you will infallibly be tormented, if you neglect to keep lighted -candles in the room, the brightness of which, it is said, they are -afraid of.” He told me all this tale with an ingenuous air, and I -listened to him with all the credulity of an infant, instead of -mistrusting this Antonio, whose knavish countenance ought to have been -sufficient to have excited my suspicions. - -No sooner had he left the chamber, than I got out of bed and bolted the -door, less from fear of being robbed, than in the hope of thus securing -myself from the persecution of the aforesaid spirits. Considering myself -then in perfect safety, I lay down again, and reflected on the -benevolence of my venerable landlord. So far from suspecting him of any -bad design, which, had I possessed a little more experience, I should -not have failed to have done, I represented to myself that he could be -no other than one of my nearest relatives, who had not chosen to make -himself known to me over night, that he might surprise me the more -agreeably in the morning. “I would lay a good wager,” said I to myself, -“that when I wake to-morrow morning, I shall find a tailor in waiting to -take measure of me for a fine suit of clothes. I may rest assured that -in future I shall never want for any thing, and that I have not lost my -labour in coming to Italy.” Flattered by these agreeable thoughts, my -senses were beguiled by degrees into a most profound sleep. - -Although Antonio had told me that the evil spirits were so averse to -light, my candles did not secure me from the persecution of four figures -in the shape of so many devils who entered my chamber. It was some time -before I heard the noise created by these demons; but as it was very far -from their intention to respect my repose, they advanced towards the -bed, drew the curtains, two of them seized me by the arms, and the other -two by the legs, and dragged me out of bed. At length I awoke; and -finding myself thus dangling in the air in the clutches of four devils, -I was so terribly frightened that I was more dead than alive. They were -each habited exactly as the devil is represented; with huge long tails, -frightful vizards, and horns on their heads. I had just sufficient sense -remaining in me to invoke the assistance of some Saint whose name -occurred to me at the moment. But had I offered up prayers, they would -have been equally unavailing. These apparitions were not to be driven -from their purpose; exorcisms even would have been useless, for the -devils that I had to deal with had been baptized. They placed me in one -of my blankets, and each taking a corner, began to toss me in the air -with such violence, that they threw me to the ceiling at every toss, -against which I expected every moment that either my head or one of my -arms would have been broken. But they contented themselves with only -bruising me, though they did not cease to make me vault in this manner -until they were completely fatigued, or rather until their noses -informed them that my fear grew laxative. They then placed me in bed -again, covered me over as they found me, extinguished the light, and -vanished the same way as they had entered. - -In this pitiable condition I remained until day-break; and with the most -dreadful sensation of fear still on my mind, I made an effort to get up, -with the intention of hastening as quickly as possible out of a house -where the duties of hospitality had been so scurvily fulfilled. But I -could not rise, or dress myself without the greatest difficulty and -pain, the cause of which I could not remember without bestowing a -thousand curses on the old rascal who had caused me to be thus cruelly -treated. He no longer seemed to me that personage so worthy of -veneration, no longer that benevolent character the meeting with whom -had so much delighted me, but an old sorcerer, destined to be damned -from the creation of the world. - -Before I quitted the chamber, I was curious to know how these malignant -spirits could have entered it. I first examined the door, and finding it -still bolted as I had left it before I fell asleep, I could not -reasonably imagine that they had found their way to me by that means. -But having lifted up the hangings, I perceived a large window covered by -them, which opened into the gallery. This was still open, the -apparitions not having taken the trouble to close it after them. I made -not the least noise, lest there should be something still in reserve for -me, and thought of nothing but how to extricate myself from this cursed -place. I had already left the room with this view, when I met Antonio in -the gallery, who informed me that his master was waiting for me at the -nearest church. All the answer I made was to request him to shew me to -the street-door, which he did with as much sang-froid as if he had not -been one of the goblins who had amused themselves so much at my expence. -I no sooner got out of doors, than I scampered off as if I had not a -bruise about me. What wonderful strength is imparted by fear! I ran as -fast as my legs would carry me. - -As soon as I considered myself in perfect safety, my hunger, which had -been suspended for a while by fear, became such, that I was obliged to -satisfy it by buying some baked meat and a slice of bread, which I -amused myself with eating as I walked along. I did not stop till I had -got quite out of the city, and then seeing a tavern before me, I went in -and drank a glass of good wine. This so completely reanimated my -courage, that after a slight repast, I was able to set out again, taking -the road towards Rome, reflecting on the affectionate reception I had -met with from my relations, and especially from my old friend. I made a -solemn oath never to forget the detestable night that this grey bearded -old wolf had allured me under his roof, for which I resolved to be fully -avenged on him the very first opportunity. - - - - -CHAP. XXI. - -_What becomes of Guzman after having left Genoa._ - - -I travelled some distance from Genoa, without so much as turning my head -once towards that city, as though I feared that the sight of it would -have petrified me. I resembled one of those who escaped from the battle -of Roncesvalles; I walked on without having any determined route, though -it was my wish to go to Rome. At length I reached a town about ten -miles from Genoa, where I stopped some hours to rest myself, and spent -what remained of my pistole. Then resigning myself entirely into the -hands of Providence, I resumed my journey. - -It was well for me that I had been accustomed to misfortunes, and that I -had already made some progress in the art of begging. What would have -become of me without this resource? I should have been much to be -pitied. Any one that possesses the talent of exciting his neighbour’s -charity may travel all over Italy without money. I must render this -justice to Italy, that no nation in the world has more charity in it. In -proof of which assertion, I reached Rome without spending a single sous -of all the money that I was able to collect on the road, and which I -carefully reserved. In the different villages through which I passed I -had more meat and bread given me than I could possibly consume. -Mendicity in that country is a fine resource for persons of spirit in -bad circumstances who cannot make up their minds to be industrious. For -my own part, I was so naturally inclined to that trade that I wished for -no better. I must confess that when I found myself in the capital of the -Catholic World with money enough in my pocket to buy a new suit of -clothes, I was at first somewhat tempted to employ it that way, with -design to offer my services to some nobleman; but I had courage enough -to resist this desire, which I considered in no other light than as a -temptation of the devil. - -“Oh! Oh! Guzman,” said I to myself, “do you wish to give yourself the -same airs here as at Toledo; suppose, when you have expended all your -little hoard in dress, you should be so unlucky as to find no one -willing to employ you, who do you think will feed you, my friend? do -you imagine that a fine new coat is likely to excite charity? undeceive -yourself. You will be more likely to fare better in your present dress. -Be wise, and rather endeavour to profit by your old follies than to seek -after new ones. Be contented as you are, and do not resume your former -vanities.” Reasoning with myself in this manner, I tied up my purse with -a double knot, and addressing myself to the money within it: “Remain -thus secure,” said I, “until I find a better opportunity of making thee -useful.” - -I began then to traverse the streets of Rome in my rags, soliciting alms -like one who believed himself a master in the art, but who was in -reality a mere apprentice in comparison with the professors of that -country. Among these was a young fellow, who remarking the manner of -begging that I adopted, found that I required a few lessons, which he -was kind enough to give me. We associated together; and to render me -useful to the society, he taught me the different manners and the -several tones in which alms should be asked of different people, and -that the same speech would not always do. “Men,” said he, “are not in -the least affected by the plaintive and lamentable tones adopted by most -beggars. They will be much more likely to put their hands in their -pockets, when you implore their assistance boldly for God’s sake.” “As -for women,” continued he, “as some pay their devotions to the Holy -Virgin, and others to our lady of the Rosary, it is by one of these that -we wheedle them. It has frequently a good effect also to pray that they -may be preserved from all mortal sin, from false witnesses, the power of -traitors, and from slanderous tongues: such wishes as these, pronounced -in energetic terms, and in an impressive tone of voice, will almost -always make their purses fly open to assist you.” - -He taught me moreover how to excite the compassion of the rich; and what -is still more difficult of professed devotees. In a word, he gave me -such good instructions, and I made so good a use of them, that I soon -received more money than I could spend. I was already perfectly -acquainted with Rome, from the Pope down to the very lowest scullion in -the city. For fear of troubling my customers too often, I divided the -city into seven parts, allotting one for every day in the week. I never -failed to present myself at the several churches on holidays, where I -was sure to pick up something. As to the pieces of bread that were -usually given at doors of private houses, I sold what I did not want to -distressed objects who were ashamed to beg, but who, by being relieved -in private by the faithful, were well able to pay for what they bought -of me. Country people and others, who made it their business to fatten -fowls and hogs, were also frequent purchasers; but the spicecake makers -were my best customers. I likewise made something considerable by the -old rags which were given me by charitable persons who could not without -pity see a lad of my age almost naked, especially in winter. - -Having by this time become acquainted with the first professors in the -art of begging, I was now perfect master of the trade, by following -their directions and example. It happened one day that about thirty of -our fraternity were collected before the door of the Ambassador of -France, where I heard one of my comrades behind me cry, “Look at that -Spanish glutton there, he’ll certainly spoil our trade. When once his -guts are well filled with the soup or meat that is given him, he -declines taking any more; this it is that ruins our business. By these -means, people will be apt to think that poor people like us have too -much given them.” One of our veterans, who knew me, overhearing this, -said to the beggar who uttered this complaint, “Peace, comrade, do you -not see that this novice is a stranger who is not yet acquainted with -our regulations. Leave him to me, and I will undertake to instruct him. -He is a pretty apt scholar, I assure you, and will in a very short time -be a match for any of us.” - -After having thus taken my part, he called me aside in a low voice, and -asked me several questions; as, in what part of Spain I was born? what -was my name, and how long I had been at Rome? When I had answered all -these queries in a very laconic style, he proceeded to represent to me, -but in a very mild manner, the mutual feeling that beggars were bound to -observe towards each other, that a proper _decorum_ might be supported -among them; that they ought to be so united as to play into each other’s -hands like brother pick-pockets in a fair. From thence entering into a -long detail, he revealed so many secrets to me as soon convinced me how -inferior I was to these great men. Amongst other things which I had -never yet heard of, he taught me how to enlarge my stomach, so as to be -able to eat four times as much as usual, without incommoding myself; not -forgetting to recommend me, never to eat before people, without -effecting extreme greediness, for he assured me, it was most essential -to persuade them that beggars are dying with hunger. He concluded by -informing me at what hours I should be sure to be at such and such -places: that in some houses I might venture to enter the kitchen, and -even as far as the parlour; but that in others I must not dare to enter -the door. - -I now thought that he had completely exhausted the subject, but all -these things were nothing in comparison with the begging-laws, which he -made me read at his own house, whither he led me, as soon as the alms of -the French Ambassador were distributed. He did not content himself by -allowing me merely to read these admirable regulations, but insisted on -my taking a copy of them, that by being well acquainted with them, I -might never again infringe them in so shameful a manner. I have not -thought myself bound, friendly reader, to withhold these statutes, which -I shall communicate to you as they were presented to me. If there be any -who have no wish to have the manners of low life depicted to them, is it -just that I should accommodate myself to their excessive delicacy, and -withdraw a picture which may afford much pleasure to others? - - - - -CHAP. XXII. - -_The Laws of begging._ - - -As beggars of every nation are distinguished from each other by their -different modes of imploring alms; as the Germans beg by singing, and in -troops, the French by their praying, the Flemings by their respectful -bowings, the Bohemians by fortune telling, the Portuguese by their -crying, the Italians by long harangues, the English by abusing, and the -Spaniards by their haughty growlings: we hereby command them all to -observe the following Statutes under pain of our heavy displeasure. - -1. We forbid any lame or wounded beggar, of whatever nation he be, to -appear in the quarters frequented by others full of health and vigour, -on account of the advantage they will have over the latter. We also -ordain, that all such as are in perfect health, form no manner of -connexion with blind men, field-preachers, mountebanks, poets, -musicians, redeemed captives, nor even with old soldiers that have -escaped from a rout, or seamen saved from a shipwreck. For although it -is generally allowed, that all these must subsist by imploring charity, -their manners of begging being different, it is necessary that each -society keep to its own particular rules. - -2. We ordain that beggars have certain taverns assigned them in every -country, where shall preside three or four of their ancients with staves -in their hands as emblems of their authority. Which said ancients are -hereby empowered to canvass, in the aforesaid taverns, all the affairs -of the world, and to give their opinions as freely as they please. At -the same time, we permit the other beggars to relate their own heroic -exploits, as well as those of their ancestors, and even to illustrate -the conversation by boasting of battles they were never in. - -3. We command, that every beggar carry a good cudgel in his hand, with a -spike at the end of it if possible, to be provided against emergencies, -lest they repent of their neglect. - -4. That each beggar take especial care never to presume to wear any -thing new; that all his clothes be worn out, torn, or patched; nothing -bringing more scandal on our profession than begging in good clothes. Be -it, however, well understood, that if in the exercise of his -professional duties, a beggar chance to obtain some new garment, he is -at liberty to deck himself out in it for that day, but no longer. We -positively will, and command, that he dispose of it the following -morning. - -5. To prevent any dispute that may arise between comrades for certain -posts, we ordain that the more ancient possessor prevail and take -precedence, without regard to persons. - -6. It is permitted that two infirm or sick persons beg in company, if -they please, and call each other brothers; provided they beg by turns -and in a different tone, the one beginning where the other leaves off. -They are to keep opposite each other on different sides of the street, -each singing his own misfortunes; they may afterwards divide their -profits as they please. - -7. It is permitted that a beggar wear an old dish-clout round his head -in winter instead of a bonnet, that while he is protected from the cold, -he may at the same time appear an invalid. He is likewise at liberty to -walk with crutches, or to have one leg tied up behind him. - -8. Every beggar may have a purse and a pocket, but must receive alms in -their hats only. - -9. We command, that no beggar be so indiscreet as to divulge any of the -mysteries of our trade to any but such as belong to our Society. - -10. Should any beggar be so fortunate as to discover any new trick in -the art of begging, he shall be obliged to communicate the same to the -company, which ought to enjoy in common the benefit arising from the -genius of any of its members. As a recompence, however, to the inventor, -and to stimulate his genius to new discoveries, we decree that he have -an exclusive privilege to make the most of his device for three months; -during which time we peremptorily forbid any other belonging to our -fraternity from interfering with his practice, under pain of -confiscating to his use all the profits that may be derived therefrom. - -11. We exhort the members of this Society freely and faithfully to make -known to each other all the houses where they know that either private -or public alms are likely to be dispensed; especially those in which -gaming or courting is going forward, for in such places large receipts -are certain. - -12. We command, that no beggar presume to keep or lead about with him -any hunting, setting, or other dogs; blind men only being allowed to be -conducted by a little cur with a string round its neck. This prohibition -is not meant to extend to such of our fraternity as may chance to -possess dogs of talent. These may be allowed to exhibit their -performances as usual, by making their dogs dance or jump through hoops; -but they must not presume to take their station at a church-door, where -other beggars of the Society may be assembled, on account of the great -advantage they will have over them. - -13. We command, that no beggar venture to buy meat or fish in the -market on his own account, except in a case of extreme necessity, as -very ill consequences may arise from so doing. - -14. We permit all such beggars as have no children of their own to hire -as many as four to lead about with them into the churches on festivals; -these should not be above five years old, and, if possible, should -appear to be twins. If a female conduct them, she should never fail to -have one always at her breast; and if a man, he must be sure to carry -one on his arm, and lead the other by the hand. - -15. We command, that those beggars who have any children, instruct them, -up to the age of six years, in the best mode of making collections in -churches; that, after having taught them to ask charity for their father -and mother who lie on their beds at home most dangerously ill, they -allow them to go alone, though it were better not entirely to lose sight -of them. As soon, however, as these children shall have attained their -seventh year, we command that they be left to shift for themselves, as -being already majors, and that their parents be content to restrict and -compel them to return home at stipulated hours. - -16. Beggars of the old stamp, who consider it a point of honor to walk -in the footsteps of their ancestors who have trained them to the -profession of begging, will never allow their children to take any other -trade than their own, nor to degrade themselves by entering into the -service of any one; and if these children wish to be thought worthy of -their parents, they will hold every other condition in abhorrence. - -17. Although Idleness be the principal divinity worshipped by us -beggars, we, nevertheless, think proper to prescribe certain hours of -rising. Every one should dress and turn out by seven o’clock in winter, -and by five in summer, or even sooner, if he feel so disposed; and -should be in bed again by the same hour in the evening, except on -extraordinary occasions, and according to the directions of the veterans -of the Society. - -18. Be for ever declared infamous, and banished from our Society, all -such as shall presume to steal, harbour stolen goods, strip little -children, or commit any such villanies. - -19. As it is our wish that all young persons who embark in our -profession be treated favorably, we will and ordain, that, for the -future, any brother who shall have attained the age of twelve years -shall be obliged to pass a noviciate of three years only instead of -five; and we insist that after the said term of three years he be -considered a graduate in the profession, and as a subject who has duly -complied with and fulfilled all the laws of our institution. - -20. At the same time we require of the said brother that he make oath -never to desert our Society, but continue attached to it, and never -think of withdrawing himself from our service without our especial -leave; promising to pay due submission and obedience to our statutes, -under pain of our highest displeasure. - - - - -CHAP. XXIII. - -_Of the disagreeable adventure poor Guzman met with, while begging in -the City of Rome during the heat of the day._ - - -In addition to these laws, this famous doctor in the art communicated to -me others which he told me had been established by the most celebrated -beggars of Italy, and particularly by the renowned Albert, surnamed -_Messer Morcon_--in other words, Mr. Big-guts--who was looked upon as -Generalissimo of the Beggars at Rome. In truth, he well deserved that -title, and even that of Prince of the Beggars, or rather the Archbeggar, -of Christendom. - -He was worthy to be Emperor of the Idlers, as well on account of his -appearance as of his manners and understanding. He would devour at a -single meal the whole of the tripe and trotters of two good sheep, a -cow’s udder, and ten pounds of bread, not to mention the scraps that he -collected, which he generally applied solely to his own use. He would -drink in proportion. It is true that he alone would scrape up as much in -begging as ten of the most deformed and crippled of our Society; but -then he had occasion for all this, as I before told you; for although he -consumed every scrap that was given him, and spent all his money in -drink, he was frequently obliged to have recourse to the larders of -other beggars, who, considering themselves his vassals, were always well -pleased to contribute to his subsistence. He never seemed satisfied -either with wine or victuals. He always went, both summer and winter, -open breasted, and never wore either shirt or stockings. His head was -always bare, his chin always well shaved, and his skin was as white and -shining as if it had been rubbed with lard. - -Among other rules made by this famous _Messer Morcon_ during his reign, -there is one which is well worth repeating: he ordained that every -beggar should sleep on the ground, without either mattress or pillow, -and that they should leave off begging every day as soon as they had -gained sufficient for the day’s necessities; for, said he, a true beggar -ought to depend entirely upon Providence, and think not of the morrow. - -I got all the laws of begging by heart, but was content to observe the -most essential only. Nevertheless, as I was ambitious to distinguish -myself in every profession I embraced, I was frequently tempted to run -risks which turned out neither to my honor nor profit. An unlucky -adventure of this description occurred to me one day in the month of -September. The day was oppressively hot; I happened to go out between -one and two o’clock, to beg from door to door in the streets of Rome, -imagining that every one who saw me begging at such a time would be sure -to think I must be half starved, and that I should not fail to have -either victuals or money given me on that account. In vain, however, did -I range the principal quarter of the city, making the air resound with -my lamentations; I met with nothing but repulses and reproaches. - -I repaired to another quarter, hoping to find hearts more sensible to my -cries. I knocked at a door with my stick, but as I obtained no answer, -I repeated my strokes very loudly three or four times; but just as I had -made up my mind not to budge until I had made myself heard, a -kitchen-boy appeared at one of the upper windows, who seemed to be -washing dishes, and, as a reward for my obstinacy, poured down a -cauldron of boiling water on my head, and immediately _afterwards_ cried -out, _Scaldings! look to yourself below there!_ - -As soon as I felt myself baptized in this hot manner, I set up so -frightful a yell, and made such grimaces, that I gathered a great crowd -round me in a moment. Some few blamed the kitchen-boy; but all the rest -told me that I was much in the wrong to presume thus to disturb -gentlefolks who were asleep, and that if I did not feel inclined for -sleep myself, I ought not at least to wake others. Some among them -pitied me, and, to console me for my unlucky accident, put a few sous -in my hand, with which I withdrew, intending to go home and dry myself. -“Admirable!” thought I, in my own way home. “Wilt thou never be content -with what is needful for thee? what demon tempted thee to do what others -of thy calling never venture to attempt?” - -I was already very near my own lodgings, when a neighbour, who was one -of the oldest of our fraternity, called me into a cellar where he -resided, and, seating me on a three-legged stool, asked me where the -devil I had come from, what bath I had just left, and who had made me in -such a pickle? When I related my adventure he laughed most heartily. -This old man was a native of Cordova, born, trained up, and destined to -die in the profession of begging. “My poor Guzman,” said he, “I fear -much you will be a simpleton all your life; the blood is too hot in your -veins; you seem to wish to be master before you have served your -apprenticeship. Do you not see your folly in violating our customs? But, -as we are both from the same country, and your extreme youth is some -sort of excuse for you, I will endeavour to point out your duty to you -more clearly. In the first place, my friend, know that nobody ever gives -alms at Rome in the afternoon. The citizens as well as the people of -quality always take a nap at that time of the day; and you are sure only -to displease by waking them or disturbing their slumbers. When a beggar -has howled twice, in a supplicating tone, at the door of a house, -without seeing any one, it is a sign that the people of the house do not -chuse to be seen, and, consequently, the best way is to be gone without -further loss of time. Be not so imprudent as to open a door that you -find shut, still less to enter the house; ask whatever you want from the -street, for fear of the dogs of the house, who can easily distinguish us -from other men, and who, considering us their rivals, have a natural -antipathy towards us. - -“One of the best pieces of advice that I can give you,” continued he, -“is by reminding you that you are a Spaniard. This supposes in you a -disposition always ready to treat with rudeness all such as withhold -their charity; thus, when you address yourself to one of these -ill-disposed rich ones, who not only make it a rule never to assist us, -but will also reproach us most bitterly for our idleness, recollect that -you should always answer their hard-hearted treatment with words full of -softness and humility. Another piece of good advice: should you by -chance, which has happened to me at least a hundred times in my life, -approach a cavalier who, just as you implore his charity, takes off his -glove and puts his hand in his pocket, I do not forbid you to feel -rejoiced at such an action; but if you afterwards discover that it was -only with the intention of drawing out his handkerchief, do not venture -to testify chagrin at your disappointment, nor growl at him, for there -may chance to be another gentleman near him who might have intended to -relieve you, had not your grumbling prevented his design.” - -After the old Cordovan had given me these political precepts, he taught -me how I might raise a pretended leprosy and ulcers; how a leg might be -swelled; how I might make an arm appear dislocated, and render my face -paler than death itself. In short, he possessed a thousand curious -secrets, which he was so kind as to communicate to me, not more out of -friendship for me, as he told me, than from the fear that he might leave -this world for the other without having bequeathed them to any one. In -fact, he died a few days after this conversation. - - - - -CHAP. XXIV. - -_Of the agreeable life Guzman continued to lead with his Comrades. An -account of his Journey to Gaeta. History of a Beggar who died at -Florence._ - - -Notwithstanding the disposition recommended by the tenth statute of our -laws, I did not think proper to communicate to my comrades the secrets -of the Cordovan, who had revealed them to none but myself; nevertheless -we all lived together in perfect union. We frequently met together of an -evening to the number of ten or twelve, and passed our time in -practising and inventing new exclamations to excite pity. There were -even some among us who discovered new forms of benediction which they -got a livelihood by, and which they sold to the others, who were always -willing to purchase them on account of their novelty. - -On festival-days we would be up betimes and run to the churches where -indulgences were dispensed, that we might secure the best places, by -being as near as we could to the _Holy Water_, or at the entrance of the -Chapel near the _Station_,--which is the place set apart for penitents -to stand and recite the prayers prescribed for them. Thus were our -mornings employed, and towards night we generally left the City to make -an excursion into the villages in the environs, as well as the farms and -country-seats, whence we seldom returned without being well laden with -abundance of lard, bread, eggs and cheese; sometimes with a good -collection of old clothes, so well did we know how to excite the -compassion of the good folks in the country. If on the road we saw any -person of distinction coming towards us, the instant we perceived him at -a distance, we set up a concert of plaintive voices imploring his -charity, that he might have abundance of time to put his hand in his -pocket, otherwise he might have passed on without stopping. - -When we had to meet a number of citizens together, and had time to -prepare for it, we would every one of us act a different character; one -would halt as if he were lame, another would counterfeit blindness; a -third would carry one arm in a sling, another would affect dumbness; a -fifth would distort his mouth or his legs, and a sixth would walk on -crutches; in a word, we every one of us performed a different part, -taking care to place the most skilful amongst us at our head, to render -the scene more affecting. - -You would have been well amused had you but heard the various -benedictions we employed to extract the marrow from their purses. We -prayed that God would give them children, prosper their commerce, and -bless them with good health; such wishes as these were scarcely ever -thrown away. There never was a party of pleasure or an entertainment of -any sort going forward, but we were sure to smell it out and pick up -something; and we never failed to repair, in small numbers at a time, to -such places, where we always got as much as we could eat. The hotels of -Bishops, Cardinals, Ambassadors, all the great houses were open to us, -and we frequented them by turns: thus we partook of every thing, though -we possessed nothing. - -I know not how my comrades felt affected when they chanced to receive -alms from the hand of a pretty woman; for myself, miserable sinner, when -a young female approached me whose figure I admired, I could not refrain -from leering upon her with an amorous look when I implored her charity. -If she herself gave me money, I pressed her hand tenderly in my own, and -kissed it before I allowed it to escape. But I always committed this -rash action with so respectful, or rather so hypocritical an air, that -the lady, not suspecting that it was merely for my own gratification, -always considered this insolence as a transport of gratitude. - -The pleasures of this world, which have been thought to be the share of -the rich and great only, may much more reasonably be said to fall to the -lot of us beggars, who enjoy the sweets of life with more freedom, more -relish, and tranquillity. Even though beggars had no other advantage -than that of begging and receiving without either embarrassment or -shame, they enjoy therein a privilege which none of the rest of mankind -possess, sovereigns only excepted, who also beg of their people without -blushing: but the difference between them is, that sovereigns often make -poor folks contribute to their wants, while beggars seldom ask of any -but such as are richer than themselves. There is evidently then no -condition of life more happy than that of a beggar, and fortunate were -it, indeed, if every one could know when he is so well off. The greater -number of my comrades, however, were so entirely engrossed with -delicacies of animal life, that one half of their felicity was actually -thrown away: they did not reflect how sweet it was to live independent, -without the dread of law-suits or the fear that their money was badly -applied: to be unaffected by the intrigues of state, by the uncertainty -of business and speculation, or by the numberless mischances and -embarrassments to which every other man is constantly subject. The first -man who embraced this mode of life must, doubtless, have been a great -philosopher. - -I would willingly have believed beggars entirely free from the control -of Fortune, did not that malicious goddess take pleasure in occasionally -showing her power over them, by subjecting them to little disgraces, as -well as others. Of this nature was what happened to me in the town of -Gaeta, whither I went out of curiosity, imagining that a man like me, -who might now be reckoned skilful in my trade, would have no sooner -entered the place, than alms would shower down as thick as hail upon -him. The instant I arrived there I covered my head with a false scab, -which I knew well how to counterfeit, and placed myself at the door of a -church. The governor of the town happened to pass by me, and after -having looked at me for some time with attention, gave me alms. A -considerable number of the inhabitants of both sexes followed his -example, and this good luck lasted for several days; but covetousness, -as the saying is, at last bursts the bag. On the next festival-day, -thinking that my pretended scabby head was too old a trick, I determined -to make myself an ulcer on my leg, and soon raised one by making use of -one of the secrets the old Cordovan had revealed to me. - -Having prepared all that was necessary to dress up my leg so as to -yield me a good harvest, I posted myself in the best situation at the -door of another church, where I immediately began to writhe myself about -and howl, as if I had been exceedingly afflicted by my ulcer, so as to -attract the notice of every one that passed by me; and though my healthy -countenance was sufficient to have belied my complaints (for I had -neglected to manufacture a pale face on the occasion), and have created -suspicion, yet I found that my apparently distressing situation excited -the compassion of many; for these charitable folks did not examine so -accurately as to detect me, and I in consequence received individually -greater contributions than all the other beggars who were there, who -wished me and my ulcer at the devil. - -Unluckily, however, the aforementioned governor chanced to come to hear -mass at this church, and had no sooner listened to me for a moment than -he recognized me by my voice. He could not otherwise have possibly -recollected me, for my head was completely covered with a large napkin -which descended to my nose; but he was a man of experience who had seen -a great deal of the world; and as soon as he espied me I knew well that -he said to himself, “It cannot be four days since I saw and relieved -this same fellow; can he possibly have been afflicted since that time -with so bad an ulcer on his leg? there must be some roguery in this -affair, and it is incumbent on me to inquire further into it:” “My -friend,” said he, addressing himself to me, “I am much affected by your -miserable situation; follow me home and I will give you a good shirt.” - -I was so imprudent as to obey him, without the slightest suspicion of -his design upon me; for had I in the least guessed at it I should soon -have forced my way through his servants, and disappointed him of the -punishment he had devised for me. Having arrived at his house, I did -not presage much good when he looked at me with earnestness, and then -demanded of me in a severe tone if I was not the same person whom he had -seen a few days since at a church door with a bad head. I turned pale at -this question, and could not muster impudence enough to answer in the -negative, whereupon he insisted on seeing my head, and not perceiving -the least appearance of disorder: “Tell me,” said he, “by what singular -remedy you can possibly have cured yourself so perfectly in the short -space of four days, and how you can have so inveterate an ulcer on your -leg accompanied with so ruddy a complexion:” “Sir,” replied I; so -disconcerted that I knew not what I said,--“I know not: but God was -pleased that it should be so.” - -I was still more troubled when I heard him desire one of his servants to -run for a surgeon. I knew well what was preparing for me, and should -soon have made an attempt to escape, if I had not observed that the door -was locked; but as such was the case I was obliged to submit. At length -the surgeon arrived, and examined my leg most attentively, and, skilful -as he was, would very probably have been deceived, had not the governor -communicated to him in a whisper the reasons he had for thinking me an -impostor; after this the surgeon had but little trouble in discovering -the truth: he examined the ulcer afresh, and then declared, with an air -of importance and sagacity, that I had no more ailment in my leg than he -himself had in his eye: “Bring me some hot water,” said he, “and I will -prove clearly what I assert.” This was soon supplied; the surgeon rubbed -and washed my leg, which became in an instant so clean and healthful, -that I dared not utter a syllable in defence of my knavery. - -The governor, thinking that he was bound to reward me for my address, -gave me the shirt he had been so kind as to promise, which was fitted on -my back in a moment by one of his lusty servants, who applied thirty -hearty lashes by his master’s directions, by way of recompence for my -journey. After which I was ordered to leave the town immediately, with -the promise that I should be doubly remunerated if I ever ventured to -make my appearance in it again. This was a very superfluous prohibition, -for the pleasant treatment I had met with in Gaeta was of itself quite -sufficient to divest me of all desire of visiting that place again. I -left this cursed town therefore without further delay, shrugging up my -shoulders all the way I went, until I arrived once more in the Pope’s -territories. I greeted my dear Rome with a thousand blessings as I -entered it, and no sooner saw it at a distance than tears of joy -trickled from my eyes, and I could not refrain from wishing my arms long -enough to have embraced it. - -I soon rejoined my old comrades, but took good care not to communicate -my late disgrace to them: had they known it, I should never have heard -the last of my flogging adventure at Gaeta, which would have been an -everlasting joke against me. I told them that I had merely taken a trip -out of curiosity to some of the neighbouring villages; but that I had -found by experience that, there was no place like Rome for persons of -our calling. I must indeed have been half mad when I thought of leaving -this blessed city, where we all lived so well, never failing to collect -daily as much money as we wanted. Every fowl fills its crop by a single -grain at a time. In like manner we accumulated our money; and after -having converted it into gold, we carried it about with us sewed to our -garments under rags, which frequently concealed a sufficient sum to buy -a complete new suit. We might be said to have been stitched up with -gold; and there were some few old rascals among us who were worth a very -considerable sum which they always carried about their persons. Persons -of our class generally possess the vices of avarice and cruelty in the -highest degree. I will illustrate this assertion by relating to you a -very singular example in the history of a beggar of my own acquaintance, -which is well worth the recital. - -A poor beggar, named _Pantalon Castello_, a native of Genoa, having -married at Florence, had one son by his wife whom he intended so to -establish in life as to render it unnecessary for him either to work, or -go into service to obtain his livelihood: with this view, taking -advantage of the facility with which the delicate members of a new born -infant may be dislocated, he determined on the barbarity of crippling -his own child. Perchance, reader, you will feel inclined to stop me -here, to tell me that this is by no means extraordinary among beggars. -I am ready to allow, that beggars of every nation in the world are in -the habit of availing themselves of such inhuman means to excite -compassion: but our _Pantalon_, like a true Genoese, was willing to -surpass all his predecessors in this point, and disfigured his poor son -so dreadfully that there was scarcely such another monster in the world. -This unfortunate child, who, with the exception of his arms and tongue, -which had not been touched, was deformed all over, was no sooner out of -his infancy, than he began to exhibit himself through the streets in a -kind of cage, on a little ass which he guided with his own hands. - -If, however, his body had but little of the human form in it, by way of -amends he had a great deal of wit, which shone the more brilliantly as -he advanced in age. His repartees were so pleasant and so much to the -purpose, that he was the admiration of all who knew him, and received -great alms, which he owed no less to his facetious and good natured -manner, than to the compassion excited by his unfortunate person. -Deformed and ugly as he was, however, he lived until seventy two years -of age, after which he fell sick; and knowing well that his illness must -be fatal, he began to reflect on his past life, and sent for a -confessor, a pious and learned man, with whom he was acquainted. Having -discoursed with him about all his affairs as well spiritual as temporal, -he called in a Notary, to whom he indited his will in the following -terms: _I recommend my soul to God who created it, and my body to the -earth, and I wish to be interred in my own parish_. - -_Item, I desire that my ass be sold, and that the money accruing -therefrom be employed in defraying the expenses of my burial. As for the -pack-saddle, I bequeath it to the Grand Duke my Lord, to whom it of -right belongs, and whom I hereby nominate executor to this my will, and -universal heir to my property._ - -This beggar died a few days after, and his Will being made public, -became the talk of the city of Florence. As every one had known him to -be a merry-conceited fellow all his life, it was the general opinion -that he had hoped, by this seeming burlesque, to make folks laugh at him -even after his death. But the Duke somewhat differed from them; for -having frequently heard of the testator and his pleasantries, he -suspected there might be some mystery in it. To unravel it, therefore, -he ordered the pack-saddle which was bequeathed to him to be brought to -his Palace, where he caused it to be unripped in the presence of the -whole court, who were not a little surprised at discovering in it -several pieces of gold of all kinds, to the value of three thousand six -hundred crowns, of four hundred maravedis each. It came afterwards to be -known that it was by the advice of his Confessor that he had thus -disposed of his property, which the Grand Duke, like a just and pious -Prince, made a good use of, by employing the whole of it in founding a -perpetual Mass to be said for the testator’s soul. - - - - -CHAP. XXV. - -_How Guzman excited the compassion of a Cardinal, and what followed._ - - -Having risen one fine morning betimes, as was usual with me, I seated -myself at the gate of a Cardinal who passed for one of the most -charitable men in Rome, having first taken great pains to swell and -dress up one of my legs into an ulcer, which might have deceived the -most skilful surgeons. I had not, on this occasion, forgotten to make my -face as pale as possible, for I should have been inexcusable indeed had -I committed the same fault twice. I began begging in the most dolorous -tone that my voice was capable of, and several of the servants who were -passing in and out were much affected by my plaintive moans: but this -was merely practising for the game I had in view. It was the pity of -their master that I hoped to excite, who no sooner made his appearance -than I redoubled my cries and complaints, addressing him in these words: -“O noble Christian! friend of Jesus Christ! take pity on a poor -afflicted sinner, diseased and crippled in the flower of his age; be -pleased, your Eminence, to take compassion on my misery, and praised be -the passion of our Redeemer.” - -The Cardinal, who was a holy man, stopped to listen to me; and hoping to -please the Lord in extending his charity towards me, he turned to his -domestics, saying, “Take this poor wretch in your arms, and convey him -into my chamber; there let these rags be taken from off him, furnish -him with clean linen, lay him in my own bed, and have another prepared -for me in the next apartment.” These orders were instantly obeyed. O -charity which may serve for an example to other prelates, who in general -consider Heaven as indebted to them, when they pay the slightest -attention to the misery of the poor! The Cardinal did not stop here, but -sent for two of the most celebrated surgeons in Rome, desiring them to -examine my leg, and do every thing in their power to cure it; and after -having promised to reward them well for their trouble, he left them to -their own proceedings. - -On the faith of this promise, the surgeons immediately began to inspect -my ulcer, which at first seemed to them incurable. Mortification seemed -already to have taken place. This was occasioned, however, by nothing -but the herbs I had applied, and could only last for a certain time, -after which, by omitting the application, my leg would have been -restored to its natural healthy state. They then threw off their cloaks, -drew out their cases, and ordered some fire to be brought them in a -chaffing-dish, some fine white linen, and some eggs and milk. While all -these things were preparing, they began to question me concerning my -disorder, how long I had been afflicted with it, and if I knew how I -first came by it? if I drank any wine? what I was accustomed to eat? In -short, they asked me all the questions usual with persons of their -profession on such occasions, to which I was not able to answer a word, -so dreadfully frightened was I at the terrible preparations that were -making before my eyes. I knew not what Saint I could presume to implore, -for I could not flatter myself that there was one to be found in Heaven -willing to intercede for such a knave as myself. I began to reflect on -what had so recently happened to me at Gaeta, and could scarcely hope -to escape in this instance with so slight a punishment. - -The surgeons, after having turned my leg in all directions twenty times -over, retired into another chamber, to discourse together, and -communicate their observations to each other more privately. I was -terribly alarmed as to what would be the result of this consultation, -not knowing but they might decide on cutting my leg off. I leaped -straightway out of bed, therefore, to follow and listen to them, fully -resolving to confess the truth, if I should find they had determined -upon amputation. I approached the door, and while I listened most -attentively to their conversation, heard one of these sages say to the -other: “We may make a good job of this, brother, if we can understand -each other; the leg is dreadfully inflamed, and must take a long time to -cure.” “You certainly must be jesting,” answered the other, “there is no -more inflammation on that leg than on my hand: it is a description of -disorder which I am sure I can convince you may be removed in less than -two days.” “Do not believe it,” replied he who had first spoken; “by St. -Comas, I flatter myself I have some knowledge in ulcers, and I do -maintain that this is a decided mortification.” “No, no,” retorted the -other; “believe me, our patient is an arrant rogue, and has no real -disorder whatever to complain of; I know well enough how a sham ulcer -may be raised, for I have often met with similar cases, and can even -tell you the herbs this impostor has made use of to reduce his leg into -its present apparently diseased state.” - -The surgeon who had been my dupe was quite abashed at these words; but -thinking that it concerned his reputation to persist in his first -assertion, he would not yield to his comrade’s opinion. The dispute -would have grown very hot between them, had not the second surgeon been -politic enough to terminate it by entreating his brother to examine the -leg afresh. “Just inspect it again,” said he, “and you will no longer -doubt the deception.” “Willingly,” replied the other; “and if I find the -ulcer such as you have affirmed, I will readily yield to your judgment.” -“That is not enough,” replied the former; “in acknowledging your error, -you must also agree that I deserve to have a greater share of the -profits than you.” “By no means,” cried his companion; “do not take so -much merit to yourself for such a discovery, which I might have made -without your assistance. I insist that we share equally whatever fees -his Eminence may give us.” They disputed afresh on this point, and their -quarrel grew so high that they came at length to the resolution of -laying the full particulars of the case before the Cardinal. - -When I found how things were likely to end, I hesitated no longer, but -entered the room suddenly, threw myself at their feet, and with tears -in my eyes, (for I had a peculiar talent in being able to cry when I -would) addressed them in these words:--“Take compassion, my dear -gentlemen, on one who is but a man like yourselves. You well know that -the rich are so hard-hearted now-a-days, that it is impossible for the -poor to excite their pity, otherwise than by covering themselves with -wounds and sores, and that it is but seldom that we can obtain any thing -but the most miserable pittance even by these means. What can you gain -by discovering my knavery? you will lose the reward which has been -promised you, which cannot escape you if you can consent that we all -three concert matters together. You may safely venture to place -confidence in me, for the fear of punishment will insure my discretion.” - -The surgeons, after a little reflection, made up their minds to profit -by this opportunity of touching the Cardinal’s money. This was no -sooner agreed than we returned to his Eminence’s chamber, where they -seated me on a chair, and began to re-examine my leg, which they -plastered up with the drugs they considered most likely to make the sore -last as it was. They then bound it up, and wrapped a napkin round it, -and, observing the Cardinal enter the room at that very instant, took me -up in their arms to keep up appearances, and placed me on the bed again. -His Eminence, who was extremely uneasy on account of my ulcer, inquired -about it immediately. “My Lord,” said one of the surgeons with a grave -countenance, “this poor lad’s situation is truly pitiable; his leg is -already mortified; we trust, however, that with God’s assistance, we may -be able to do something for him, but his cure must be the work of time.” -“It is most fortunate for him,” said the other surgeon, “that he has -this day fallen into our hands; one day more must have proved fatal; -and Heaven had certainly ordained that his life should be saved by -sending him to the door of your Eminence.” - -The Cardinal was extremely pleased at this report, and told them that -they might take as much time as they pleased, provided they cured me in -the end. He besought them afresh to neglect nothing that might -contribute to my recovery, promising that he would see that I should be -well treated in his house. They assured him that his confidence should -not be misplaced, and that they would not fail, one or other of them, to -call and see me twice a day; for that it would be necessary for them to -consult together upon the slightest change that might take place in my -disorder. After this they withdrew, and left me more at ease in my mind; -for to this moment I had been very suspicious of these two treacherous -rascals, lest they should expose my knavery while they pretended to be -accomplices. These unconscionable dogs obliged me to keep my chamber for -three months, which appeared three ages to me, so difficult is it to -lose the desire for gaming and begging. In vain did I lie in a fine bed; -in vain did I fare like his Eminence himself; nothing could recompense -me for such confinement. At length, I pressed, I tormented my surgeons -so eternally to bring this comedy to an end, that they were obliged at -last to yield to my importunities. They left my ulcer, therefore, to -take its course, and when they found that my leg was restored to its -natural state, acquainted the good Cardinal with it, who was quite -astonished at so wonderful a cure, and dismissed these quacks, after -having paid them much more than they deserved. His Eminence had been so -kind as to pay me several visits during the course of my pretended -illness. I had frequent conversations with this holy prelate, who -having discovered in me a sort of wit which pleased him, had taken a -great fancy to me. As a proof of which he proposed and seemed to wish to -take me into his service, among the number of his pages; an honour which -was too gratifying to me to think of refusing. - - - - -CHAP. XXVI. - -_Guzman becomes page to the Cardinal, and commits a thousand mischievous -tricks in his service._ - - -Thus did I all of a sudden become a page. This was in truth a fine leap -for me, although between knave and page there is no difference but their -dress, for their propensities are precisely the same; it served, -however, to amuse me, and prevented my growing idle, though I felt like -a fish out of water in my new employment. As a beggar I was in my -element; accustomed to the soups of Egypt, I felt myself at home no -where but in the tavern. I was, therefore, by no means pleased by the -life I led in this house, where every thing was regulated by rule and -compass; where at one time I was employed with a flambeau in my hand -running up or down stairs, to light our visitors as they entered or left -the house, and at another was obliged to dance attendance in the -ante-chamber, kicking my heels there for about two hours, until I -received my orders. Always in readiness to follow carriages by night as -well as by day, or to wait at table and devour with my eyes only all the -dishes that were served up; in a word, it was necessary for me to be at -hand on all occasions, and that not for a few days only, but from the -first day of January to the last of December. - -Ah! miserable slave, you will naturally say, what profit could you -possibly derive during a year of so much trouble? alas! I must answer, I -was servant to every body; a fine coat was certainly given me, but that -not so much for my own use as my lord’s honour. I got nothing in this -service but the itch and severe colds, except some ends of flambeaux -which I stole and sold to the cobblers; and it was necessary to be very -cautious to commit even these little thefts with impunity. Woe to us -pages if we were ever caught in the fact; we were sure to get well -lashed. Besides the pieces of wax that we cut off the flambeaux, we -sometimes lay our hands upon some tit-bits that were served up at table, -which we ate in private. But such tricks as these required more -dexterity than was possessed by any of my comrades; and a pretty -accident befel one of these silly fellows. As he was clearing away the -dishes after having waited at table, he thought proper to steal some -honey fritters, which he wrapped up hastily in his handkerchief, and -crammed into his pocket. The fritters being very hot, and pent up in so -close a place, began to discharge their honey, which ran all down the -poor page’s leg. Ill-luck directed the Cardinal’s eyes that way, who, -guessing at first sight what it was, began to laugh most heartily. -“Page,” said he, addressing himself to this simpleton, “I perceive blood -trickling down your legs; are you any where wounded?” At this question, -all the company, which was very numerous, and even the servants, turned -about to look at the culprit’s leg, and the poor devil of a page stood -confused and mortified, knowing that his crime was discovered. Happy for -him had he been let off for the shame of enduring the extreme laughter -which he excited, but he paid much more dearly the next day for his -fritters, the honey of which was but sour to him. - -Most of my other comrades were as green as this one when I was first -received among them; and as I could not refrain from following my old -habits, I employed myself in robbing them of whatever they had worth -stealing, in spite of all the pains they took to secure themselves from -my clutches. This soon taught them to be rather more vigilant. Our -master kept, in a closet adjoining his own bed-chamber, a large chest, -filled with all sorts of dried sweetmeats, which he was extremely fond -of. In this chest, among other things, were prunes from Genoa, -bergamot-pears from Aranjuez, melons from Grenada, citrons from Seville, -oranges from Placentia, lemons from Murcia, cucumbers from Valencia, -love-apples from Toledo, peaches from Arragon, and raisins from Malaga. -In short, the most delicious sweetmeats and dried fruits of every -description were to be found in this enviable chest, which never failed -to make my mouth water whenever his Eminence gave me the key to get -some out for him. On such occasions, however, he always took good care -to be present himself, distrusting, as I supposed, my thieving -disposition. I was much mortified at this suspicion, which only served -to excite my desire, which was already strong enough, to have a taste of -these fine preserves, and not being able any longer to resist the -temptation, I thought of nothing but the means of gratifying my -inclination. The chest was about a yard wide, and two yards and a half -long, and had only one lock in the middle. Seeing this, I procured a -wooden wedge, and raised a corner of the lid, by which means I made an -opening large enough to admit my arm; but as I could then only choose -such sweetmeats as lay within my reach, I fastened a hook to the end of -a long stick, with the assistance of which I had the pleasure of picking -and choosing where I pleased. Thus I made myself complete master of the -chest without having the key of it. - -Notwithstanding the great quantity of fruits in the chest, my stick was -so frequently at work that they began to diminish apace. The Cardinal -observed large holes here and there, which did not much please him; but -one day being desirous to taste a very fine citron which he had taken -particular notice of the preceding evening, what was his astonishment -when he found it flown? He summoned his principal officers before him, -and told them he was determined to know which of his domestics had been -so insolent as to open his chest and touch the fruits he so much prized, -charging his major-domo, a sour ill-natured priest, to leave no stone -unturned to find out the thief. Suspicion fell upon the pages, and we -were ordered to assemble in the hall, where we were searched, one after -another; but to no purpose were our pockets ransacked, in vain were we -threatened, for I had long ere this not only eaten the citron but -digested it. - -This affair soon blew over, and no more was said of it. The Cardinal, -however, had not forgotten it, and I was obliged to be so much on my -guard that I did not venture to pay another visit to my favourite chest, -even to look at it, for several days. This vexed me exceedingly; for I -had acquired a particular relish for his Eminence’s sweetmeats, and so -far from thinking of giving them up, was waiting anxiously for the first -opportunity of having another touch at them. One day, therefore, while -the Cardinal was engaged at play with some other Cardinals after dinner, -I doubted not that I should have abundance of leisure to resort to my -old sport again. Quite confident of this, I ran for my tools, which I -had hid in a snug place, and glided into the closet without being -perceived by any one. Scarcely had I raised the lid and thrust in my -arm, when his Eminence entered the chamber, and finding neither of his -pages there, assisted himself to what he wanted. I heard him, and -endeavoured to release my arm with so much haste and fear that I struck -the wedge out with my elbow, and the lid fell on my arm, so that I was -caught like a bird in a trap. The Cardinal, hearing the noise, began to -be alarmed for his sweetmeats, and entered the closet immediately, where -he found me in this ludicrous situation: “Ah! ah! friend Guzman,” cried -he, “is it then you who rob me of my sweetmeats?” The grimaces that I -made at finding myself so fairly caught were so ridiculous that he could -not restrain his laughter. He even called the other Cardinals that they -might enjoy my confusion, who left off playing and ran up immediately; -and after they had diverted themselves for some time at my expence, they -entreated him to forgive me this time, saying that they were convinced I -should not again transgress. But my master was inexorable: all that -their prayers could obtain for me was, that I should receive only a -dozen lashes instead of four-and-twenty, which I had so richly deserved. -This chastisement could not be remitted; and the major-domo, signor -Nicola, my mortal enemy, was charged to inflict it in his own apartment; -which duty he acquitted himself of with such hearty good will, that I -was scarcely able to stir for above a fortnight after. - -It was not many days, however, before I was avenged on him for this hard -usage. You must know that this chanced to be just the season for -mosquitos, with which Rome was more than usually swarmed that year. -Signor Nicola, who loved his ease, was complaining one day in my -presence how much he was annoyed in his bed by these troublesome -companions. “Signor,” said I, “you will have only yourself to blame if -you are not quickly rid of them for ever. In Spain we have an -infallible secret to secure ourselves from being plagued by these -insects, which, if you please, I shall be happy to communicate to you.” -“You will oblige me beyond measure,” answered Nicola. “You have only,” -replied I, with a serious countenance, “to lay at your bed’s-head a good -bunch of parsley well steeped in vinegar, of which these vermin are -extremely fond, and which is sure to kill them.” - -He believed me, and tried the experiment that very night, but it had a -very different effect, for he found himself assailed more cruelly than -ever, and was even fearful that they would have eaten his nose off or -torn out his eyes, and had given himself a thousand violent thumps on -the face during the night to get rid of them. Thus had he fought with -them until daylight, when he found that he had not come very -victoriously off, for that even of such of his enemies as he thought he -had crushed, very many had escaped. I did not fail to go into his -chamber to see him the first thing in the morning, and his swoln eyes -quickly assured me of the success of my plan. He told me how he had been -tormented, saying that my secret was not worth a farthing. I affected -great astonishment. “You cannot then,” said I, “have left the parsley -long enough in the vinegar, or the vinegar you were supplied with must -have been very weak and bad; for I assure you, that by carrying a bunch -of parsley prepared in the same manner into my own chamber, I have -entirely cleared it of these troublesome guests, who were there in -swarms before I used this remedy.” The major-domo was fool enough to -believe me again, and left a whole bundle of parsley to soak for above -six hours in the strongest vinegar he could procure, and then not only -put it into his bed, but scattered it all over his chamber. God knows -what furious attacks he was therefore exposed to: I verily believe that -all the mosquitos in the neighbourhood poured down in legions upon him -to devour him, and made so furious an assault, that they left him like a -leper all over his body. What a thrashing would he have given me had he -met me on the following day! but his Eminence, to prevent accident, -called us both into his presence, desiring him not to treat me harshly -on the occasion, and at the same time gave me a slight reprimand, though -he could scarcely restrain his laughter at the success of my scheme. -“For what reason,” said the good prelate, “have you played such a scurvy -trick upon Signor Nicola?” “My Lord,” replied I, “for no other reason -than that when he had orders to give me a dozen lashes for my exploit -among the sweetmeats, he accommodated me with more than twenty on his -own account. I have only, therefore, avenged my scars by those I have -inflicted on him. - -Thus ended this notable affair. Ever since my unlucky adventure of the -sweetmeat-chest, I had been discharged from the chamber of the pages. -The flogging I got was not the only way in which I was punished, for I -had been passed into the Chamberlain’s department, to serve among the -foot-boys until I had sufficiently atoned for my offence to be -reinstated in my former post. The Chamberlain was a man of honour and -sincerity, but rather too scrupulous, and even inclined to be visionary. -He had several relations in the neighbourhood, who were very virtuous -girls, but so poor, that he would send every day two thirds of his own -meals to enable them to subsist. He went occasionally to dine or sup -with them. This afforded an opportunity to the officers of the family, -and especially our Major-domo, to rally him before his Eminence, who was -greatly diverted by it. - -One night when the Chamberlain came home after having dined with his -relations, finding himself rather indisposed, he retired into his own -chamber and went to bed. The Cardinal not seeing him at supper, inquired -after him. “My Lord,” said one of the servants, “he is not very well.” -The Cardinal, who was anxious to know what could ail him, sent one of -his gentlemen to see, who returned with a report that the Chamberlain -only required a good night’s rest, and that he doubted not he would be -perfectly well again by the morning. This passed off well enough; but -the Secretary Nicola, who was always ready to pick a hole in the -Chamberlain’s coat, having learnt the next morning that he was much -better, caused one of the pages to be dressed up in a young woman’s -clothes, who, with the assistance of a bribe to one of the foot-boys, -introduced himself into the bed-room while the Chamberlain was fast -asleep, and glided to the side of the bed where he was concealed by the -curtains. Immediately after this the Secretary went to wait on the -Cardinal, who inquired after the invalid the first thing. “He has passed -but an indifferent night, I understand,” answered Nicola, “but is much -better this morning.” The Cardinal, who loved all his domestics as a -father loveth his children, resolved, upon hearing this, to go and see -the Chamberlain himself, who was disturbed from his slumbers to be -apprised of the honour intended him. - -His Eminence then entered the sick man’s chamber, and sat down on a -chair at the side of the bed; but scarcely was he seated, when he saw -the metamorphosed page slip suddenly from the bed-side, who -counterfeiting, most naturally, the embarrassed female anxious to -escape, got off at length crying, “Oh! good God, I am ruined for ever! -what must his Eminence think of me!” The Cardinal, who had not been -prepared for this scene, and who believed his Chamberlain to be a -religious steady man, appeared to be extremely surprised at this sight; -but great as his astonishment was, it amounted to nothing in comparison -with that of our visionary Chamberlain, who, as if just roused from a -most horrible dream, cried aloud, that it was assuredly the Devil -himself come to tempt him in the shape of a woman. This idea caused so -excessive an agitation of his spirits that he could scarcely be -restrained from leaping out of bed in his shirt before his Eminence, and -taking to his heels. As all the servants who were present were privy to -the Secretary’s design, they could not avoid laughing, from which the -Cardinal soon perceived that it was only a trick upon his Chamberlain, -and had the goodness to relieve his distress by undeceiving him himself. -After which he retired. - -All this was just over when I reached home, having been out on different -commissions the whole of the morning. Finding the worthy Chamberlain -very low-spirited on my return, I enquired the cause, and he related -the whole affair to me, saying he had no doubt that Nicola was at the -bottom of it. “I would willingly, my dear Guzman,” added he, “most -willingly sacrifice one of my eyes to be amply avenged on him for this -plot, and with your assistance I doubt not I may be able to return him a -‘roland for his oliver.’ A knowing shaver like you will soon devise some -good trick to play him.” “I must confess,” answered I, “that were I in -your place, the Secretary should have no occasion to go to the Pope for -absolution; I would make him do sufficient penance for his trick. -Remember, however, that he is my superior, and it is not for me to -interfere with officers who are above me. If I was excused for the trick -I played master Nicola on my own account, it was only because what I did -was to revenge myself for his former cruel conduct towards me.” - -In vain did I represent to the enraged Chamberlain, that I dared not -take up his cudgels, lest I should repent it; he would admit of no -excuse. His prayers, my great friendship for him, the mortal hatred I -had for the Secretary, and above all my natural propensity to mischief, -determined me at length to espouse his cause. “Well then,” said I, -“leave it to me, I will undertake to make my talents useful to you. All -I require of you is, to behave towards the Secretary as though you had -not the most distant thought that he was the author of the late plot.” -The Chamberlain, simple as he was, played his part so well, that all the -servants thought he had forgiven all that had passed. - -In the meantime I was on the alert in preparing every thing to keep my -promise. I bought some rosin, mastic, and frankincense, reduced the -whole into a powder, and mixed them well together in a paper packet -which I kept in my pocket until an opportunity presented itself of -making use of it. This offered itself very opportunely a few days after. -It was the Spanish post-day, and Mr. Secretary being very much engaged, -I went to his apartment in the morning, and entered his wardrobe where -his servant was. “James,” said I, “my dear fellow, I have a loaf and a -fine slice of fried ham below. I want but a bottle of wine to make a -good breakfast. If you can supply this, you shall share with me; -otherwise I must look for some one else.” “Mr. Guzman,” answered James, -his eyes sparkling with joy, “I am your man; I can easily get you a -bottle of the very best wine, and if you will but wait here I shall be -with you again in an instant.” Thus saying he disappeared, leaving me -master of the wardrobe. Then looking about for his master’s breeches, -for I knew the Secretary did not put them on in the morning, having -slipped on his dressing gown over his shirt that he might write more at -his ease. I perceived them on the back of a chair. I took them up and -turned them inside out, and after having strewed my powders all over the -inside of them, I replaced them exactly as I found them. James soon -returned with the wine, but scarcely had we begun breakfast when his -master called him to assist in dressing, and detained him in his room so -long that I was obliged to find another to share my bottle with me, -waiting most anxiously for the time when I should have the pleasure of -seeing my composition operate. - -It had its full effect at the Cardinal’s dinner, where there were a -number of visitors that day. As we were in the middle of the dog-days, -the extreme heat of the weather was very favorable to my trick. Mr. -Nicola was in waiting in the parlour with the other officers. I soon -remarked by his distortions that he felt a great itching in a part of -his body where through respect he dared not put his hand. He knew not -how to keep his countenance, and unfortunately, the more he shrugged -himself about the more he increased the pain. As he was naturally as -hairy as a bear, the powder stuck in his hair and flesh, and twitched -him like the points of a thousand needles. This was not all, for the -Cardinal having some orders to give him, called him, and whilst in the -act of whispering to him, his Eminence was obliged to stop his nose all -at once, saying: “What on earth have you about you, that you smell so -strong of rosin and frankincense?” The Secretary coloured at these -words, and stood farther off from his master, who, perceiving that -almost all my comrades, whom the Chamberlain had let into the secret, -were whispering and laughing among themselves, began to suspect that I -had been at my tricks again. As I stood very near to him looking very -demurely all the while; “Guzman,” said he, “what is the fun now that -seems to cause so much tittering?” “I know not indeed,” answered I, -“unless it be on account of our Secretary’s having taken a laxative -draught composed of turpentine this morning.” The Cardinal laughed most -heartily, and the whole table followed his example. Nicola now began to -see through the business, and not being any longer able to endure the -jeers and laughters with which the dining parlour resounded at his -expence, took to his heels with a precipitation which redoubled the -pleasure of the company. After he had left the room, the Cardinal, -impatient to know what was really the matter, addressed himself to the -Chamberlain, who concealed nothing from him. This adventure established -my reputation in the palace as a most formidable character. - -After having been banished two months from the chamber of the pages, I -was at length recalled and re-established in my former post, the duties -of which I resumed with as much effrontery as if nothing had happened. -This brought to my mind a fable which you have doubtless heard, of the -Air, the Water, and Shame, who having kept company together for some -time, and being at length obliged to part, were desirous to know where -they should see each other again. Quoth the Air, “you will always find -me on the top of mountains;” “and I, without fail,” said the Water, “may -always be found in the bowels of the earth.” “As for me,” said Shame -sighing, “if I am once parted with, it is impossible to meet with me -again.” Nothing can be more true: in my own case I felt it, for I was -now no longer susceptible of shame at the commission of a bad action; -the only shame I felt was in being detected. In short, I was so -naturally disposed to knavery, that I really believe I would have thrown -myself headlong from the top of the Castle of St. Angelo, if I saw any -thing at the bottom worth stealing. - -As the good Cardinal was a great lover of sweetmeats, especially of -those that came from the Canaries in barrels, he would always send for -more when his stock was out; and when the barrels were empty they became -the property of the first servant who took possession. One fell to my -share in this manner, in which I kept my handkerchiefs, cards, dice, and -other effects of a poor page. One day a man called to inform his -Eminence that a merchant had just received twelve barrels of fruits of -this description. The Cardinal ordered them for himself. I heard this -order given, and said within myself, it shall go hard but I have one of -them. I retired to my chamber to consider how I could make myself master -of one, and resolved on this plan: I instantly emptied my barrel of my -old rags, and having filled it with earth and straw, I closed it down, -and put on the hoops again so neatly that it looked as if it had never -been opened. This done, I went down into the court-yard to wait the -arrival of those that were full of sweetmeats. I had not waited long -before I perceived them coming with the Major-domo at their head, who -ordered us to carry them immediately into the closet where his Eminence -usually kept them. Each of my comrades carried up a barrel. I took good -care to be the last with mine, having my reasons for wishing to walk -after all the rest. We were necessarily to pass by my chamber, so that -seeing myself followed by no one, I slipped in unperceived, and changing -the barrels in the twinkling of an eye, carried the one I had so well -filled with earth and straw, and laid it boldly among the rest in the -Cardinal’s closet. His Eminence was himself there to see them, and when -they were all arranged in order he turned towards me with a smile on his -countenance and said: “well, Guzman, what think you of these barrels? it -will not be so easy a matter to thrust an arm into these, or to use -wedges as with the former ones.” “If wedges will not do,” replied I, -coolly, “I may be tempted to employ my nails, for the hand sometimes -does the office of the arm.” “Ah!” replied his Eminence, “but I defy -thee to pilfer these barrels, which have no corners to be lifted up as -the chest had.” “True,” replied I, “but I beseech your Eminence not to -defy me in any thing; for the devil may in such a case furnish me with -the means of deceiving you.” “Be that as it may,” cried the Cardinal, “I -give you leave with all my heart to steal these sweetmeats if you can, -and I give you eight days to do it in. Should you be dexterous enough to -succeed, you shall not only be allowed to keep what you steal, but I -promise you as much more: on condition, however, that should your genius -be obliged to yield, you will without murmuring submit to whatever -penalty I may choose to inflict.” - -“That is but just my Lord,” said I, “and I agree to the alternative. -Yes,” continued I, “if I do not perform my task in four and twenty -hours, for I ask not eight days for so trifling an affair, I will submit -to any punishment Signor Nicola may be pleased to sentence me to, who, -after the affair of the mosquitos and that of the turpentine, is not -likely, you will allow, to be too lenient a judge.” The Cardinal laughed -at these last words, and it was finally agreed that I should be punished -or rewarded on the following day. - -What precautions did not his Eminence take to secure his barrels from my -clutches! besides keeping the key of the closet in his own possession, -he set some of his most confidential domestics to be most constantly on -the watch. The next day at dinner the good prelate, fancying me a little -thoughtful, said with a smile: “Guzman, I see plainly what makes you so -dull; you are reflecting on the luxury of receiving a hundred lashes -from the vigorous arm of Signor Nicola.” “Indeed my Lord” replied I, -“nothing was farther from my thoughts; for the sweetmeats are already in -my possession.” - -The Cardinal, fully persuaded that no one could possibly have gained -access to his closet or touched his sweetmeats, seemed surprised at my -effrontery, and rallied me all dinner-time on the strapping that was -justly my due. I allowed him to divert himself as long as he pleased, -but when the dessert was about to be served up, I stole privately out of -the dining room up to my own chamber, and drew out of my barrel some of -the sweetmeats, with which I filled a basin I had taken off the -sideboard for that purpose, and carried them to his Eminence’s table. He -was so strangely surprised at sight of them, that he could scarcely -believe his own eyes, “Here,” said he to the chamberlain, giving him -the key of the closet, “go and count the barrels attentively; there must -be one short.” The chamberlain returned with an assurance that they were -all safe. “Ah, ah!” said the Cardinal, “I now see through your finesse, -my poor Guzman. You have purchased some of the same merchant who sold me -these fruits, and now hope to make me believe that you have stolen them; -but it will not do, Mr. Guzman; your undertaking was to open and pilfer -one of my barrels and take out some of the sweetmeats; this was our -wager as you will be pleased to recollect; you cannot, therefore, escape -the punishment.” “Come, Signor Nicola,” continued he, “seize this rash -youth, and inflict on him such chastisement as he may appear to you to -deserve.” “Softly, my Lord,” said I, at these last words; “I confess -that I amply deserve all this if the sweetmeats that I have just laid -before you are not some of those your Eminence bought yesterday; but you -must allow also that I have won if I prove the contrary, by convincing -you that I have at this moment in my own chamber one of the twelve -barrels that were yesterday brought into your palace.” - -“Be cautious what you affirm, page,” interrupted the Chamberlain; “there -are twelve barrels in my master’s cabinet which I have counted over and -over again.” “That may be,” said I to the Chamberlain, “but recollect -that _the wolf often eats the counted sheep_.” The Cardinal anxious to -know the truth of the matter, hastened his dinner over, that he might -examine his closet, whither he repaired, accompanied by all the guests -that dined with him that day, who for the most part felt convinced by -the bold face I assumed, that the affair would not end to my -disadvantage. - -His Eminence counted the barrels himself, and finding twelve, “Guzman,” -said he, “here are the twelve barrels that I bought.” “My Lord,” -answered I, “there are certainly twelve, but they are not all full of -sweetmeats.” The Cardinal, losing patience, wished to have them opened. -“No, no,” cried I, “I will save you that trouble.” Saying which, I -pointed out to him the barrel I had filled with earth and straw, and -while they were opening it I ran to my chamber, whence I returned with -the other, which was still half full of fruit, and related in what -manner I had gained possession of it. - -All the company present applauded me for my dexterity, and laughed most -heartily at the adventure. His Eminence, agreeably to promise presented -me with a second barrel, which I resigned to my comrades, to shew that -what I had done was but to amuse my worthy master. Diverted, however, as -he was by my slights of hand, he would undoubtedly have dismissed me his -service for example’s sake, had he not apprehended that if he abandoned -me I might have been driven to the commission of some more desperate -act which would end in my utter destruction. Thus this good prelate, -compassionating my youth, retained me in his family in spite of all my -faults, that I might not be compelled to commit greater crimes -elsewhere. - - - - -CHAP. XXVII. - -_Guzman continues playing his tricks at the Cardinal’s, who at length -dismisses him._ - - -The Cardinal was certainly the best master in the world. What infinite -pains he took to make me an honest man! He would neither employ threats -with me, nor order me to be beaten, lest I should be terrified, and run -away from him; the mildness of his character prevented him from -resorting to such means. He endeavoured to inspire me with a love of -virtue by gentle remonstrances, and even by gifts. When I did any thing -praise-worthy, which indeed happened very seldom, he never failed to -reward me well for it. When he was at table, and thought I had a longing -for any little tit-bit, he would give it me, and this condescension was -generally accompanied by a little good-natured bantering. “Guzman,” said -he, one day, giving me with his own hand a piece of tart: “receive this -from me as a tribute, which I pay to preserve peace between us. The fate -of Master Nicola makes me quake for the safety of my sweetmeats.” - -It was thus that he condescended to familiarize himself with his -servants; who, delighted with so kind a master, would almost have -sacrificed their lives for his sake. If servants generally dislike -those masters who treat them harshly, on the other hand, those masters, -who are kind to their servants, are always sincerely beloved. - -A short time after the barrel adventure, a large chest of sweetmeats, -finely gilded, and curiously arranged in boxes, was sent to his Eminence -from Genoa. His Lordship was more than usually pleased with them, as -they came from a very dear relation, who made him a similar present -every year. The sweetmeats were exquisitely good, but being put into -boxes which were rather damp, it was necessary to place them in the sun, -to take off the moisture which the boxes had communicated to them. - -The Cardinal seemed at a loss to know where they should be put to be -safe from my pilfering hands. Each of the servants gave his opinion, but -there was not one amongst them bold enough to take charge of, and to -answer for them. “Well, well,” said his Eminence, seeing me come in, -(for I had been out of the palace while this consultation was going on,) -here is Guzman, who will extricate us from this difficulty; my friend,” -continued he, “we are at a loss for a proper place to dry these -sweetmeats in; for I am excessively afraid of the rats!” “My Lord,” -answered I, “nothing in the world can be easier than to hinder the rats -from touching them: you have only to give them up to me and my -companions.” “Very true,” replied the prelate smiling; “but though this -may be a very certain method to keep them from the rats, I intend to try -another, and am resolved to give them into your keeping. Take care to -expose them to the sun every day; and see that you give a good account -of them; you see what state they are in. You must watch without ceasing -for their safety, and return them exactly as they are delivered to you, -under pain of forfeiting my favor.” “Ah, my Lord!” cried I at these -words, “you know not to what trial you expose the frail Guzman; I can -guard well enough against the rats, and against the most cunning of my -companions; but I cannot indeed guard against myself. I am, alas! an -unhappy son of Eve, and if I find myself in a paradise of sweetmeats, -ten to one but some unlucky serpent may tempt me. But yet, if your -Excellency says to me, Guzman, I am content that you should eat my -sweetmeats, provided, on opening the box, that it no where appears that -they have been meddled with;--on this condition, I will take them under -my care, and we shall both be satisfied.” “I consent to it,” answered -the Cardinal; “you are dexterous enough for that, I will forgive you; -but be assured, that if the theft can be perceived, you shall be -chastised.” I undertook the commission on these terms. I opened and -spread out the boxes one after another in a gallery that was exposed to -the sun; and the beauty of these sweetmeats made a suitable impression -on such a liquorish young rogue as I was. Nevertheless, whatever longing -I had to taste them, I waited until they were a little drier: which -being the case a few days afterwards, I thought of nothing but how I -should manage to pilfer part of this fine fruit with impunity: and thus -Mr. Enterprise went about it. I first shut up the boxes, which I then -turned gently upside down; and then having drawn out with the point of a -knife the nails which fastened the bottom of them, I took some -sweetmeats from four boxes only. I then carefully filled up with paper -the empty spaces, and restored the boxes to their original state. One -evening as the prelate was taking his afternoon’s repast, for it was a -fast day, I told him that I thought the sweetmeats were dry enough to be -put away. “I need not ask,” answered he with a smile, “if you have -eaten a good part of them.” “At least my Lord,” said I, “it does not -appear so, if you look at them.” “We shall see,” said he, “let some of -the boxes be brought here directly.” I took three of my companions into -my room, where they were, and gave each of them one to carry, taking a -fourth myself. These four boxes were those which had passed through my -hands. I presented them to his Excellence, and asked him if he did not -think that they appeared to be well preserved. He inspected them very -narrowly, and seeing nothing to cause any suspicion, he said to me, “I -shall be perfectly satisfied if all the others have been as well -preserved as these: His curiosity was satisfied; he looked at those -boxes which I had not touched, and after a long inspection, he -confessed, “that if I had stolen any of the sweetmeats, it certainly was -no where apparent.” Upon this I ran to my room, and placing the -sweetmeats, which I had stolen, into a dish, I returned to shew them to -the prelate, assuring him at the same time, “that I had not tasted his -fruit, whatever longing I had for them, as he might easily ascertain.” I -leave it to you to imagine the surprise of the Cardinal, and of all his -domestics, who looking upon me as little less than a juggler, were more -than ever on their guard against me. - -We were made to study four hours a day: we were taught Latin, and even -Greek; and we employed the rest of our time in reading amusing books, -and in the instructions of the music and dancing master. Gaming, -however, was still my favorite amusement; but we served a master whose -character obliged us to be very cautious how we conducted these affairs; -if he had had the least hint of such a thing, he would most likely have -made a clear house of us all. - -It was in this manner, that I spent my youth in the service of the -Cardinal where it may be said truly, that I led a very agreeable life. -Nevertheless, far from being happy, I imagined myself in cruel slavery. -I was even foolish enough to regret twenty times having quitted the -society of the beggars: I had also another cause for being tired of my -situation as page: the beard on my chin convinced me that I was no -longer a child, and I burned with desire to wear a sword. - -It is time, said I, that I should begin to think of making my fortune; -but far from thinking that I was in the best house possible to forward -this design, and from following a line of conduct suitable to that idea, -I devoted myself so incessantly to the gaming table that I neglected my -duty. Not finding any one at home who would play deep enough for me, I -contracted the habit of going into the city to seek for players, men to -my taste, and did not return during the whole day. At length I carried -this eagerness for play to such lengths, that his lordship hardly ever -seeing me, insisted on being informed the reason of my being always -abroad; and my companions were obliged to communicate it to him. He was -truly displeased at it. He spared nothing to cure me of this pernicious -habit; to accomplish which, he employed remonstrances, promises, and -even prayers, but unfortunately all his pains were bestowed to no -purpose. - -One day, when he was discoursing about me to the principal officers of -his household, he said to them: “since all the means which I have made -use of to recal him to a sense of his duty have been hitherto useless, I -will try another method that has just occurred to me. The next fault -that he commits, he shall be sent from my palace, in order that we may -see if this punishment will make any more impression on him, than all -the lectures I have given him. I do not mean by that,” continued he, -“to abandon him to want: his usual allowance shall be given him every -day, and I will take care that he shall be informed, that I shall always -be ready to take him into my service again, when he has changed his -course of life.” O excellent prelate, whose extraordinary virtue is -worthy of eternal praise! - -It was not long before I furnished his excellency with an opportunity to -make trial of the new method he had thought of to correct me. Two or -three days after, I lost at play the whole of my clothes, not excepting -my livery coat, so that I had nothing remaining to cover me, except my -breeches and doublet, for which I could get no one to play. I returned -to the palace in this condition, and shut myself up in my chamber. My -master seeing such an instance of disorderly conduct, executed his -design. He ordered the major-domo to replace the clothes I had lost, and -then to dismiss me. The major-domo obeyed, and sending me away, told me -that his Eminence loved me still in spite of my faults; and that he had -given orders that I should have my meals at the palace as usual, and -that he would receive me again among his domestics, when he was -persuaded that I sincerely repented of my past course of life. Far from -feeling grateful for this kindness of the holy prelate, I was so proud, -or rather so foolish, as to spurn at it: and I went out of his house -grumbling as if I had had great cause of complaint, and vowing that I -would never enter his doors again. I thought indeed that he was very -wrong to use me thus; and determined to revenge myself upon him by -_ruining myself_. - - - - -CHAP. XXVIII. - -_Guzman enters into the service of the Spanish Ambassador._ - - -My ridiculous pride long prevented me from perceiving the extreme folly -of my behaviour. At first I amused myself by strolling about the streets -of Rome and eating at the houses of my acquaintance, but I found that my -civil reception among them did not last long; scanty fare and gloomy -looks saluted me every where, and I was soon at a loss for a dinner. -This verifies the Spanish proverb: _Live a week with your uncle or -cousin, a month with your brother, a year with your friend; but in the -house of your father you may live for life_. - -I soon perceived that spunging was a villainous trade, and began to -regret that I was self-exiled from the table of the cardinal’s pages; -but the fault was then irreparable, since at that time his Eminence fell -sick and died. He left to all his servants, by his will, money enough to -support them comfortably for the remainder of their lives. This -circumstance drove me to despair, as I could not forgive myself for -having, by my deplorable folly, excluded myself from the provision which -would otherwise have been made for me. I saw no other resource, but to -offer my services to the Spanish Ambassador, who had been one of the -most intimate friends of my deceased master, and knew me very well. He -had also in more than one instance given me tokens of his good will. - -I had no sooner expressed my desire of entering into his service, than -he testified the utmost willingness to receive me. He had often -condescended to honor with a smile the jests and stories he had heard -from me at the palace of the cardinal. He considered me as a dexterous -young fellow, and very well adapted for his buffoon and pimp. This last -honorable employment was what he chiefly designed for me, as you will -soon perceive. But first I must depict the character of this minister. - -He was chosen to conduct an embassy to Rome, at a very critical period; -this situation required a penetrating genius, and a man of great -address. His excellency perfectly justified the confidence which the -king reposed in him. But he had a foible, a little too common amongst -men of rank,--that of being too much addicted to women. But for this -circumstance, he would have been more esteemed than any other Ambassador -at that court. Having, then, judged me worthy to have the management of -his intrigues, he began to inform me of his virtuous intentions. Then, -that I might give him a specimen of my abilities, he employed me in -some trifling messages of gallantry, in which I had the good fortune to -acquit myself to his entire satisfaction. This coup d’essai was followed -by two or three commissions of the same nature, though of somewhat more -difficulty, which were conducted with equal success. Nothing more was -necessary to establish me perfectly in his good graces, and he conceived -such a friendship for me that I soon became his favorite page. From this -moment Signor Guzman was all in all in his master’s house. I did as I -pleased, and every thing that I did was well done. The other domestics -did not see my growing greatness without envy, especially those of -longest standing; some called me my master’s buffoon, and some his pimp -in ordinary. Nevertheless I did not presume upon the favor of the -Ambassador, and was so far from doing these spiteful gentry any ill -offices with his excellency, that I gladly seized every opportunity of -serving them, in consequence of which they forbore to shew me any -particular mark of their ill will, and we lived together on pretty -tolerable terms. - -While I was with the Ambassador, I did not disgrace the reputation I had -acquired on account of my frolics at the palace of the Cardinal, and I -was not very sparing of my tricks, as there could not be any place in -the world that could open a wider field for them than the house of my -new master. Parasites often came in at dinner time. My fellow pages and -I were not at a loss to distinguish them from respectable people whom my -master was really happy to see at his table. We took care to be very -attentive to the latter, but as for the spungers who were most of them -mere adventurers, they had but scurvy commons, which diverted the -Ambassador exceedingly. One was suffered to ask in vain for drink during -the whole meal; it was of no use to make signs, we pretended not to -understand them. Another had his glass handed to him half full, and the -glass shaped in such a fashion, that half the liquor would remain in the -glass; which only tantalized his thirst. Another was served with water -prepared of a red colour.--If a dainty morsel was carved for any one of -these gentry, we changed his plate so quickly that the poor devil had -scarcely time to taste it. In a word, we did every thing in our power to -drive them all from his Excellency’s table, and were sometimes lucky -enough to succeed. - -Among the adventurers who were drawn together by the savory fumes which -proceeded from our kitchen, there was a foreigner who surpassed all the -others in impudence. He affirmed himself to be a relation of the -Ambassador, though his manners were as opposite as possible to those of -a man of quality. His brazen impudence was his only introduction, and in -spite of the frozen reception he met with from his Excellency, he -assiduously pestered him with his company at dinner. He did nothing but -boast of himself and of his country:--the politeness of his -countrymen,--their civilities to strangers, and their honesty, were -topics of which he was never tired. As for the women, the wives were all -Lucretias and the daughters Vestal Virgins. I should never have done if -I were to repeat all the praises which he heaped upon the people of his -own country: at last he wearied all the company with his foolish -discourse, but especially my master, who being quite out of patience, -said to me one day in Castilian, which this blade did not understand; -“You know not, Guzman, how weary I am of this fellow’s rhodomontade.” - -It may be supposed that this hint was not lost upon a page who was -neither deaf nor a fool. I understood well enough that this troublesome -personage must absolutely be got rid of. To accomplish this end, I -posted myself behind his chair at dinner, and whenever he asked for -drink, which happened almost every minute, I took a very large glass -which I filled to the brim with so strong a sort of wine that it could -not fail to intoxicate him speedily; when I saw that this was effected, -I tied one of his legs to his own chair with a piece of silk twist, -without any of the guests perceiving what I did. When dinner was ended, -the Ambassador rose, and the company followed his example, but when my -gentleman would have done the same, he and the chair had such a heavy -fall together, that I am much mistaken if his nose and jaws did not rue -the circumstance for a long time afterwards. I pretended to help him up -and gently untied the string. Nevertheless, in spite of all the wine -that he had drank, he perceived that every body laughed at his expense, -and suspecting the cause of his disaster, he went away in a rage and -never came again: which pleased his Excellency beyond measure, that he -had so easily got rid of such a troublesome guest. - -Having thus driven this spunger from the field, my companions and I next -undertook the discomfiture of the others, but we found some who were not -to be so easily disposed of. Amongst others, there was a Spanish bully, -who called himself a gentleman of Cordova. He came one day about dinner -time, and saluted his Excellency the Ambassador very ceremoniously, -informing him that he was in pecuniary distress, and that his pressing -necessity obliged him to disclose his situation. - -My master, who easily understood the drift of all this harangue, took -out a purse of pistoles, which he gave him unopened, and bowing -politely, turned away from him; but the Cordovan, far from retiring upon -this hint, followed him closely, and began talking of the dangers he had -gone through, and at last had the effrontery to take a seat next to his -Excellency at the table. “I hope,” said he, “your Excellency will not -be offended at the liberty I am taking, but even if I was not a -gentleman of family, my having served in his Majesty’s army, is -sufficient to entitle me to the honor of eating with Princes. Besides,” -added he, “the table of a Nobleman of your reputation, should always be -open to Officers whose services have not met with a merited recompense.” - -After this fine speech, he fell to on the dish nearest him, with the -greatest avidity. He ate like a half starved glutton as he was. Then -looking at me, who was nearest to him, he beckoned to me five or six -times to bring him some wine; but unluckily for my gentleman, instead of -paying any attention to his signs, I pretended that I did not observe -them. - -If he thought at first this neglect arose from carelessness or -stupidity, he was soon undeceived, and perceived my roguish malice -plain enough. “Page,” said he to me, in a loud voice, “have you been -ordered to let me die with thirst?” Upon this, my master, who had no -small inclination to laugh at this scene, nodded to me to serve this -adventurer; but I took good care to give him one of the smallest -glasses, and was even spiteful enough to hand it him half empty. - -Just as this happened, and when I was carrying back the salver to the -sideboard, there entered two other parasites whom I knew, by having -frequently seen them at the Ambassador’s table. Not being able to find -any vacant seats, they began to examine the guests, and particularly the -pretended noble of Cordova, and as they seemed to me to regard him with -an air of contempt, my curiosity was excited. I approached the new -comers, and asked them if the gentleman whom they examined so -attentively, was one of their acquaintance. - -“Gentleman indeed!” cried one of the two; “surely you are jesting, my -friend; learn that this fellow who is now filling at that table the seat -which is only for respectable men, and whom you think to be of noble -blood, is the son of a man who has often made boots for me, and who -keeps a shop near the cathedral church of Cordova.” “If he comes in my -way,” said the other, “I shall tell him something more than he will like -to hear.” Speaking thus, these braggadocios looked very big, twisted -their mustachios, and retreated together into the court yard to consider -what steps they should next take. - -When they had been there a short time, I went out and joined them: -“Gentlemen,” said I, “this man whom you despise so much, affirms that -you are a couple of despicable fellows, and says he is surprised at your -impudence in daring to intrude yourselves here. If you will wait till he -has dined, he will come and tell you more himself.” “Let him come; let -him come;” cried they both together: “we will let him know whom he has -to deal with.” Having thus enraged them against the Officer of Cordova, -I returned to the latter, and in a whisper loud enough to be heard by -the whole company, informed him that there were two gentlemen below, who -wanted a moment’s conversation with him. “Let them have patience,” -answered he; “I shall not quit his Excellency while he is at table.” -“They affirm,” added I, “that you have announced yourself falsely as a -cavalier of noble birth, and that you are but the son of a cobbler.” -“Heaven and earth,” cried he, with a furious aspect, “can there be any -one so tired of his life as to dare to talk in this manner of a man like -me? where are these scoundrels?” continued he, rising from table, “where -are they? their ears at least shall pay for their temerity.” “You have -but to follow me,” said I, “and I will bring you to them instantly.” At -these words I took him by the arm, and led him out of the room, though -he seemed to have but little desire to quit it. - -Immediately the Ambassador and the company hastened to the windows which -looked into the court yard, to see the termination of the quarrel which -I had contrived to stir up between these three bullies. “Gentlemen,” -said I to the two who were walking the court, “here is the person whose -father, if you are to be believed, is a Cordovan shoemaker.” “Let him -thank his stars,” cried they, “that our hands are tied by the respect we -owe to this palace, which we consider as belonging to the King of -Spain.” Seeing the officer in such a panic that he could not utter a -single syllable, I took up his cause. “Gentlemen,” said I, “this -cavalier will go out directly if you wish it, and is ready to terminate -his dispute with you in the street.” “No, no,” answered they, retreating -with the utmost precipitation, “we shall take another opportunity to -meet him.” Their retreat brought back the courage of our gallant, who -pretended to treat them as cowards. He himself, therefore, went out a -moment after them, but took care to choose a different road. The -Ambassador and his guests were infinitely diverted with this ridiculous -adventure, and a thousand witty things were said at their return to -table, at the expense of our three adventurers. After dinner every one -retired, whilst his Excellency withdrew to his chamber to enjoy his -afternoon’s nap. - - - - -CHAP. XXIX. - -_Of the Trick that Guzman played upon a Captain and a Lawyer, who came -to dine at the Ambassador’s without having been invited._ - - -Nothing afforded my master more pleasure than seeing his genteel -acquaintance at his table; and he was often willing even to tolerate -parasites, provided their wit compensated for their entertainment; but -he was always much vexed at the appearance of the latter, when it so -happened that he had a select party to dine with him. This being the -case, you may well conceive that it was not without considerable pain -that he saw two of these hangers-on enter his room one day, when he -expected the French Ambassador and other persons of distinction to dine -with him. One of these was a Captain, and the other a Lawyer, neither of -whom wanted merit in his own line, but as they could talk on no other -subject but their respective professions, they had become quite a -nuisance in the house. - -The Ambassador could not help bowing as he saw them enter, of which, -however, they took not the slightest notice; and so far from taking -their leave after this cold reception, they seemed determined to stay, -and joined the rest of the company accordingly. My master looked at me, -and I understood in an instant that it would not displease him if I -could in any way divert the company at the expense of these gentlemen. -Thus then I set about it. - -You must be informed, in the first place, that the Lawyer, who was a -grave, formal man, had a pair of huge whiskers, of which he took such -particular care, that he scarcely dared even to smile for fear of -discomposing them. I observed that he often took a sly peep at them with -great delight, in a little mirror which he drew out of his pocket with -his handkerchief, pretending all the while to be blowing his nose. -Having taken particular notice of this manœuvre of his, I waited -patiently until the dessert was placed on the table, when the -conversation becoming lively, I soon had an opportunity of putting my -plan in execution. I then went up to the Captain and whispered something -to him which made him laugh. He answered me in the same tone, and so I -continued laughing and whispering with him for a considerable time, -always taking pains to look at the Lawyer, to make him think that we -were talking of him. At length, when I thought it was time, I assumed a -more serious air, and said aloud, as if still continuing the -conversation, “No, no, Captain, I am your most humble servant, but I -protest I can take no part in this joke, the respect that I owe my -master, and his friend the Lawyer, will not permit me to take such a -liberty.” - -“What’s the matter, Guzman?” said my master, hearing this. “Truly, sir,” -answered I, “the Captain can tell you better than I. He has been -cracking jokes upon the Lawyer’s whiskers for some time past, and now -wishes me to amuse the company with them.” “Come, come, Guzman,” said -the French Ambassador, “let us know the whole of it.” “Since my master -and you command it,” said I, “it is my duty to tell you. The Captain has -been informing me that Mr. Lawyer keeps a wench to comb and dye his -whiskers every morning, that they may not turn grey, and always sleeps -on his back for fear of rumpling them. In short he has been amusing me -on this subject for this quarter of an hour, trying to persuade me to -repeat the jokes as though they were of my own invention; but it is not -for a boy like me to rally so venerable a personage in this manner.” - -The Captain, instead of denying what I asserted, laughed heartily, and -all the company followed his example, without knowing whether I spoke -truth or falsehood. The Lawyer hesitated for some moments how to take -the joke; but not being able any longer to withstand the noble Captain’s -immoderate laughter, “Rascal,” said he, in a rage, “you have good cause, -truly, to rally me upon my age, you who boast of your services under -Charles V. whom you never saw but in a picture! But I degrade myself by -putting myself in comparison with a man of your stamp.” “Very fine, Mr. -Lawyer,” interrupted the Captain, growing warm, “you forget the company -we are in. Were I not more reasonable than you,”----“More reasonable!” -cried the Lawyer in his turn, “why there is not a greater fool on the -face of the earth.” The Captain had now entirely lost all temper, and -would doubtless have answered his friend the Lawyer by throwing one of -the plates at his head, had not the company interfered, and appeased -them both. Neither of them, however, ventured to come to the house -again; and thus I freed my master of two other most troublesome guests. - - - - -CHAP. XXX. - -_The Ambassador falls in love with a Roman Lady; Guzman undertakes to -assist him in his amour; his success._ - - -I have already informed you, gentle reader, that the only blemish in the -character of the Ambassador was his libertine principles respecting the -fair sex. He had seen, though by what accident I never knew, the wife -of a Roman knight, and speedily became violently enamoured of her. He -had already put an old beldame on the scent, who was trained to the -seduction of young women, but, however dextrous his agent might be, all -her pains and exertions had hitherto proved useless, and my master was -driven to despair. At last he opened his mind to me, and expressed the -more surprise at Fabia’s withstanding his advances, as this lady, in the -flower of her youth, was united to a husband who had all the -disagreeable infirmities of old age. The design of this confidence was -to engage me to assist him in this intrigue; which he had but little -difficulty to accomplish. I undertook this honorable employment which my -master conferred upon me, and on my informing him that I was -particularly intimate with the waiting-maid of that lady, he conceived -the most flattering hopes. He could not contain his joy on learning -this circumstance; but embraced me, and said, that having her attendant -and myself in his interest, he did not doubt that with our assistance he -should, sooner or later, obtain the object of his desires. In the next -conversation that I had with Nicoleta (which was the name of the lady’s -maid) I contrived to engage her in my master’s favor. She spared no -pains to ingratiate him with her mistress, by taking every opportunity -of praising him, and of saying something in disparagement of the old -husband. Nevertheless, after losing a great deal of time in attacking -Fabia’s virtue by every sort of discourse the most likely to stagger it, -she began to despair of success, when one morning that lady, putting on -of a sudden a smiling air, said to her, “My dear Nicoleta, I will unfold -to you the inmost recesses of my soul; I can no longer dissemble with -you, so wholly devoted as you are to all my wishes. Learn then that I -think the Spanish Ambassador every way worthy of the love of a woman of -quality. I can no longer continue to treat him so harshly. But you know -my character; you know that I am a slave to reputation. Find out some -method to compromise my inclination for him with my delicacy, and if you -can discover one that proves satisfactory, I shall no longer make any -scruple of returning the passion of this amiable Nobleman. I allow you -to divulge every thing to Guzman, and even wish that he may, if -possible, be introduced to me to-night. You can bring him into the house -secretly, and I shall be able to converse with him without discovery.” -Nicoleta, who was transported with joy to see her mistress so favorably -inclined towards my master, embraced her knees, kissed her hands, and -acted a thousand fooleries before her, which testified her rapture. -Then, in the hope of strengthening her resolution, she began to boast -of the good qualities of the Ambassador; and concluded by assuring her -that the intrigue should be conducted in so prudent a manner that no one -living should have the slightest suspicion of it. Satisfied with these -assurances, Fabia told her that she would leave every thing to her zeal -and discretion. - -Upon this, Nicoleta came to seek for me, and, as if the excess of her -joy had almost deprived her of her senses, she threw her arms round my -neck, crying out, “My dear friend, you will be transported at the -agreeable news I bring you: my mistress resists no longer, but is -willing to make your master the happiest of men.” I was so delighted at -hearing these words, which I little expected, that I took Nicoleta by -the hand, and led her like a triumphant general into my master’s closet, -where we began to congratulate ourselves on the change that we had -wrought in Fabia. His Excellency presented a purse of Spanish pistoles -to the waiting-woman, who received them with a very good grace, after a -little ceremonious reluctance, as is usual upon such occasions. - -This officious agent at length retired, after she had carefully -instructed me concerning the place where I was to meet her that night, -and the hour of rendezvous when I was to be introduced to Fabia; and my -master and I were left alone. We passed the whole afternoon in -conversation on this intrigue, he relating to me how he first obtained a -sight of the lady, and I congratulating him on his having made so -agreeable an acquaintance. - -At the appointed hour I hastened to the rendezvous, at the place fixed -upon by Nicoleta, who came at last to inform me that her mistress could -not see me that night, and this disappointment happened for three or -four nights following. My patron and I did not augur very favorably from -this beginning; nevertheless we did not totally despair; and, at last, -one night the confidante informed me, through a small window on the -ground-floor, that in a few minutes she could introduce me to her -mistress. - -You must know that the passage in which I stood was extremely muddy, and -it poured with rain so as to wet me to the skin. I bore all this for two -hours with a patience which nothing but my extreme zeal and attachment -for my master could have inspired. At length I heard Nicoleta call me. I -obeyed her summons instantly, and was led by her through a little door, -which was shut to again as softly as it was opened. “Guzman,” said she, -“I will just run and let Fabia know that you are here, and she will be -with you in an instant.” The voice of my charmer soon made me forget my -late wetting, and I thought of nothing but the happy moment in which I -should behold the lady who had so captivated my master, and the extreme -joy with which I should acquaint him that I had been so happy as to -obtain an interview. It was not long before Fabia really came with her -maid. “Nicoleta,” said she, “while I am conversing with Signor Guzman, -do you watch my husband’s chamber, and should he perchance ask for me, -lose no time in letting me know.” - -It is impossible for me to tell you whether Fabia was in reality -beautiful or ugly, for she had thought proper to receive me in the dark, -so that I could not even see her face. In a low voice she began by -inquiring anxiously after my health. I followed her example, and added -the finest compliment I could think of in behalf of my master, whom I -represented as dying for love of her; notwithstanding which, it appeared -to me that she paid but little attention to what I was saying, for she -constantly interrupted me in the most pathetic parts of my speech. At -length she said, “Signor Guzman, I trust you will excuse me if I do not -listen to you in the manner you deserve; but I am extremely alarmed lest -some of my husband’s spies should overhear our conversation. Walk on a -little way,” continued she, “and you will enter a parlour, where I -entreat you will wait for me; meantime, I will just see that all is -right in the house, and shall soon be with you again. Be sure you make -no noise.” - -I was weak enough to believe what she said, and groped my way forward, -as if I had been playing at blindman’s buff. But instead of reaching a -parlour, I found myself in a back yard, the pavement of which was so -dirty and slippery, that after a few steps I rolled into a heap of mud, -and, in rising again, struck my head with such violence against a wall -hard by, that I lay for some time without sense or motion. Having, -however, somewhat recovered of this shock, I groped very carefully along -the wall in search of the parlour I had been directed to, and at last -entered at a little door which I found open, confident that I must then -be right. Again I was mistaken, and had the consolation to find myself -in a narrow passage, which was not six feet in length, on each side of -which were two drains from the house-top, and as it still continued -pouring with rain, they had so inundated this spot, that I found myself -on a sudden up to my knees in water. I ran back instantly, in the hope -of retreating as I had entered, but the door was no longer open. Either -the wind had blown it to, or some one, who had followed me close behind -all the while, which indeed is more probable, had served me this trick. -Be that as it may, I found myself obliged to make up my mind to pass the -night in this swamp, where, as soon as I ran from one drain which was -pouring upon my head, I found myself saluted by the other. “Out of the -frying-pan into the fire,” muttered I to myself. “Oh, night, almost as -dreadful as that in which I was confined under a tub, or tossed by -devils in a blanket!” - -Disagreeable, however, as my present reflections were, they were nothing -in comparison with those with which I awaited the morning. “Wretched -Guzman,” said I, “thou art at last then fairly entrapped! Fabia’s -husband will doubtless inquire your business here the first thing in the -morning. And what answer can you make? If you should tell the truth, for -the first time in your life, you will make your master and yourself the -common talk of Rome. What answer can you make then, but that Nicoleta -had invited you, and that you were under a promise to marry her? And -even should they oblige you to keep your word, this misfortune would be -preferable to having all your bones broken to make you confess the -truth. But who knows that they will even ask me a single question? -Perhaps murder and bury me on the spot. Nothing can be too bad to fear -from a jealous Italian husband.” - -With these frightful thoughts was I haunted until break of day, when I -fancied, all of a sudden, that I heard the yard-door being softly -opened, and I flattered myself, at first, that it must be either the -waiting-woman or her mistress come out of compassion to deliver me from -my confinement; but nothing was less in their thoughts. The door, -however, was certainly open, though I could see nobody who could -possibly have opened it. I soon found myself again in the yard which I -had passed through overnight, and having pushed open another door which -was only on the latch, I reached the spot where the confidante had -conversed with me, and looking up at the window through which she had -spoken to me, I thanked Heaven that I had escaped so easily. I returned -quickly to my master’s house, and threw myself upon my bed, wrapped up -warmly in the bed-clothes, not without serious apprehensions of a most -violent cold. - - - - -CHAP. XXXI. - -_Guzman’s adventure with a large Hog, and its consequences._ - - -My mind being too much agitated to allow me to sleep, I could not close -my eyes; all my thoughts were engrossed by the adventure which had just -happened to me. I attributed every thing to the vengeance of Fabia, whom -I concluded to be a miracle of chastity, and judged that in order to -undeceive the Ambassador, she had given his envoy this gallant -reception. But I knew that this affair would raise a laugh with every -body at my expense, and this vexed me more than all the rest. I was also -at a loss to know in what way I should inform my master of the story, -which sooner or later I was sure must come to his knowledge. - -When the warmth of the bed had again put my half stagnated blood into -circulation, I put on another suit of clothes in the place of that which -the rain had honored with so fine a trimming, and presented myself -before the Ambassador as though nothing had happened. I waited until he -should question me, as he always did after he had finished dinner. He -called me into his closet, when he said to me: “What is the reason -Guzman of my not having seen you this morning? I expected you to give me -an account of what took place last night at Fabia’s house. I am afraid -you have but indifferent news to tell me.” “It is true, my lord,” -answered I, “that my news is not the best in the world. I know not what -to think of Fabia. I passed the whole of the night in the street, -without hearing from or seeing either the lady or the maid. Would to -heaven that you had never undertaken this affair!” “How comes it -Guzman,” replied he, “that you are so soon discouraged? some -unseasonable mischance perhaps has prevented Fabia from seeing you as -she designed, and of which the maid might have been unable to inform -you. Do not be disheartened, however, but return to-night to the same -place where you waited for Nicoleta before.” I promised my master -faithfully to obey his commands. A groom met me as I came out of his -Excellency’s closet, and brought me a letter from a lady, he said, who -had desired him to deliver it to me. ’Twas from the waiting maid. She -was very much surprised, she informed me, that I had not seen her yet to -communicate what passed last night between her mistress and myself; -however, that I might make amends for my fault, I had only to repair -towards evening to the lane behind Fabia’s house, where we could enjoy a -private conversation through the well known little window. My hopes were -raised on the perusal of this billet. At six in the evening I took care -to be in the lane, which as I have already remarked was extremely -narrow, and filled every where with mud up to one’s ancles. My dulcinea -was waiting for me at the window, and at first began to reproach me -sharply; but her tone was soon changed on my making an exact recital of -what I had suffered, and she began to condole with me on my accident. -The trick her mistress had put upon me seemed to excite in her the -utmost surprise, and in spite of my prejudice against her, she almost -persuaded me that she had no share in it. During this conversation, in -order to shew my politeness and get nearer the window, I had raised -myself up by standing on two stones, which exposed me to a new -misfortune which my kickless fate inflicted upon me, as will appear in -the sequel. While I was engrossed by the conversation, and thinking of -nothing less than of the accident that was about to befal me, a cursed -hog, of monstrous size, and covered with filth, rushed out of his sty, -and ran between my legs, in so furious a manner, that he fairly carried -me off on his back. - -You may easily imagine the fine entertainment it afforded the -spectators, who were but too numerous, as that part is generally filled -with people, to see a man of my figure and dress gallop at full speed -out of such a filthy place, mounted on an immense hog, grunting in the -most horrid manner imaginable, covered with mud from head to foot, and -clinging most lovingly to his neck, for fear I should break an arm or a -leg against the wall, my hat and fine plume of feathers the devil knew -where, as they had fallen off into the mud; all this I say, presented -the passengers with a scene so comical, that they laughed, shouted, and -made so much noise, that my accursed Bucephalus became more furious than -ever. At last, not relishing the ardour with which I embraced him, he -gave so violent a plunge, that he quickly got rid of his troublesome -rider, for whom he took care to choose a soft bed after so fatiguing an -exercise, as he deposited me in the very muddiest place possible: just -at the entrance of the Square Navonne. Heavens! what a hue and cry was -raised after me; an infinite number of all sorts of people surrounded -me, and insulted my misfortune by a thousand scurvy witticisms, which I -suffered in silence; overcome by shame and confusion, I thought of -nothing but escaping into some house, and at last took shelter in one -which seemed likely to afford me an asylum. I ran in, and slammed the -door in the face of the scoundrels who hunted me so unmercifully. They -did nothing but cry to the people of the house to turn me out again; and -any one, to see their fury in persecuting me, would have concluded that -I had committed some enormous crime which had brought on me this -exemplary punishment. To crown my misfortune, the master of the house in -which I had taken refuge, did not seem much inclined to take my part -against the insolent rabble. As he was a jealous old fellow, and took -every shadow for a gallant, he took it into his wise head to fancy that -the lamentable pickle in which I entered his house was nothing but a -trick I had made use of to cover the delivering of some amorous message. -Filled with this preposterous idea, he attacked me with the most -vehement language, and, seconded by his domestics, who followed his -example, he kicked me out of his house, after their fists had bestowed -on me a very sound drubbing. Behold me then a second time delivered -into the power of these merciless jesters, who running after me as fast -as I ran from them, renewed their jokes and insults. I had invoked every -Saint in the Calendar, when Heaven taking pity upon me, sent to my -assistance a young Spaniard, who kindly offered me his services, and -those of three or four Italians who accompanied him. With their -assistance (of which Heaven knows I stood in need), I escaped from my -persecutors, while the Spaniard and his companions making use of the -flat side of their swords, soon put them to flight. I made all the speed -possible towards our Hotel, caring little for the snarling dogs that -snapped at my heels in every street I ran through. At last I was lucky -enough to reach home safe and sound, excepting a few bruises. I was even -so fortunate as to reach my chamber door without meeting with a soul; -but in vain did I search my pockets over and over again,--no key could I -find, and I concluded that as I drew out my handkerchief to wipe my -face, I had let it fall in the house where I had so unluckily taken -refuge. “Ah! miserable wretch,” cried I to myself, “to what purpose have -you extricated yourself from this embarrassment, if you cannot conceal -it from the servants of the Ambassador? if any one should perceive you -in your present pickle, he will inform the others, and you will become -the jest of the house for months to come.” At last, after a long -deliberation, I resolved to implore the assistance of one of my -comrades, whose room was next to mine, and who had professed a great -deal of good-will towards me. I went and rapped at the door of his room. -He opened it, but seeing me so finely decorated, could not refrain from -a roar of laughter, which burst from him in spite of his teeth. I was -compelled to bear it all with patience. “My good friend,” said I, “when -you have indulged your mirth sufficiently, I will request that you will -do me the favor to go and fetch a locksmith to open my chamber door.” “I -will go directly,” answered he, “but first do gratify my curiosity; tell -me how this accident happened to you, I promise you never to reveal it -to any living soul.” To get rid of so inquisitive a man, I invented and -told him a story, in which there was not one word of truth: and as soon -as I had finished, begged of him to go for the smith. It was with the -utmost unwillingness that he left me in his chamber, he was so -apprehensive that I should soil his furniture, that tired as I was, he -obliged me to promise, in the most solemn manner, that I would not -approach it, but that I would stand up at a distance until his return. -Fortunately for me he returned in a very short time with a locksmith, -who opened my door in a twinkling, and I made all the haste possible to -change my clothes and linen, and thoroughly wash my face and hands of -the filth that covered them. - -I had scarcely got rid of my muddy decoration, when I was informed that -the Ambassador wanted to speak to me. He had already heard the -catastrophe of the hog. In the houses of men of rank, there are always -servants who are ready enough to pay court to their masters by betraying -their fellows. But my master had heard a very inaccurate account of this -adventure. So he directly inquired of me how the accident happened, and -whether it might not be attributed to the revenge of the husband of -Fabia. I was delighted at his giving me himself so fine an opportunity -for inventing a lie. I told him that two tall stout lubbers of footmen, -having observed me talking to Nicoleta in the lane, had thought proper -to begin joking me on the subject; that I had answered them; that from -words we proceeded to blows, and that in all probability I should have -killed one of them at least, had it not happened fortunately for him, -that a hog rushed furiously out of an inclosure near the spot, which -running against me had thrown me into the mud; and that when I sprang up -again to renew the engagement, my enemies had taken to their heels in -the most cowardly manner. His Excellency was completely duped by this -bragging recital. But though for that evening he was imposed upon, the -very next morning he learnt the whole truth, and at dinner time I did -not fail to hear of it. He bantered me pretty severely on my encounter -with the footmen, and honored me with the title of “The Knight of the -Hog.” I should have been the first to laugh at his jests if we had been -by ourselves, but the other servants were present, and of course highly -delighted to see me so jeered by my master, as they augured from that -circumstance, that I should soon cease to be his favorite. Another -circumstance still more vexatious occurred shortly after; one of the -Ambassador’s friends (who was consequently one of my enemies), waited -upon him, to communicate, as he said, a very important affair. My master -requested him to explain himself, which he did in these words, or at -least in terms of the same import: “The warm interest I take in every -thing that concerns you, compels me to inform you of a report which is -circulated in Rome, very much to your disadvantage. Guzman, whose -conduct is really very bad, passes for the agent of your pleasures. The -adventure of the hog is become the general topic of conversation, and -scandal has gone so far as to assert that Guzman was employed in the -execution of some love embassy when he became the sport of the -populace.” - -It may be conceived that these words made a very great impression on the -mind of such a man as the Ambassador, who knew so well what became the -dignity of his character and the honor of the Prince whom he -represented. From that moment he resolved to get rid of me; and though -at that time he took no notice of it, and behaved towards me as usual, I -knew him too well, not to perceive that he dissembled, and what turn my -affairs were likely to take in that quarter. The season of Lent, which -now approached, furnished him with a plausible pretext to put in -practice the design he had formed of estranging me more from his person. - -He said “that he was resolved to quit his course of dissipation and -libertinism, and live a more regular life. I will even confess to you,” -added he, “that I have abandoned my designs on Fabia. My reason is -restored. I see the great impropriety I committed in attempting the -seduction of that lady; her husband is one of the first men in Rome, and -I shall never cease to reproach myself with having meditated the -dishonor of his wife.” He discoursed with me frequently in this style, -and I pretended to believe him. I did more, I applauded his resolution, -and in my turn counterfeited the repentant sinner; telling him, that I -would follow his example. In fact, I altered my conduct, and made all -kinds of hypocritical grimaces, to induce the servants, and particularly -my master, to think that I had abandoned love intrigues for ever. - - - - -CHAP. XXXII. - -_Guzman resolves to leave Rome on a Tour through Italy, with the -intention of visiting every thing worthy of notice in that Country._ - - -I spent nearly all my time in my own room, where every day was passed in -reading, and in receiving a few visitors. One day, the young Spaniard -who had so generously proffered his services in the hog adventure, -chanced to call in, for the sole purpose, as he said, of inquiring after -my health. You will readily imagine that I did not fail to receive, in -the most cordial manner, a man to whom I felt myself so much obliged. I -repeated my most sincere thanks for his kind assistance on that -occasion, assuring him that I could not express how frequently I had -regretted that my ignorance of his name and abode had prevented an -earlier acknowledgment of his kindness. He answered with apparent -modesty, “that any thanks were superfluous; that being a Spaniard and a -man of honor, it was but a duty to afford every assistance in his power -to rescue a gentleman of my appearance from the insults of the mob.” No -sooner had he informed me he was my countryman, than I asked him in what -part of Spain he was born. “I am,” said he, “a native of Seville, and -Sayavedra is my name.” Upon hearing this, I redoubled my civilities, as -I knew it to be one of the most illustrious families in our city. His -accent was certainly Andalusian, and I was not myself better acquainted -with Seville: though in fact he was a native of Valencia, which he had -his reasons for concealing. I offered him my own services, and the -credit of my master upon any occasion he might require them. He thanked -me for my good wishes, and told me that he had a suit in the -Ecclesiastical Court, which he hoped would terminate favorably; but that -if the persons whose interest he relied on, should not be successful in -their exertions, he would certainly avail himself of my proffered -mediation in his favor. As in the course of conversation I happened to -mention that I might generally be found at home, as I very rarely left -the house, he inquired the reason. I frankly confessed to him that I did -not dare to shew myself in the streets since the affair of the hog; and -that I wished the circumstance to die away and be wholly forgotten, -before I ventured much into public. He very much approved of this, and -offered to accompany me himself with his friends, in case any -unavoidable event should oblige me to go out. I felt truly grateful for -so obliging an offer, and embraced him with every token of friendship, -and overwhelmed him with acknowledgments; he was not behind hand with me -in politeness, and though he very much approved of my reasons for -confining myself at home, he seemed to think that I must lead a very -tiresome life, and recommended me to travel; he mentioned Venice, -Bologna, Pisa, and Florence, assuring me that I should find each of -those places well worthy of my inspection, and concluded by remarking -that I could return to Rome whenever I thought proper, after the -disagreeable affair had blown over. - -I gave Sayavedra to understand that nothing could be more to my taste -than what he proposed, and that I should not hesitate to follow his -advice, provided I could gain the consent of my master, as I wished to -be ruled by him in every thing. Then this imp of Satan, who was both -Andalusian and Valencian, and who had I dare say (according to his own -account afterwards) been a native of half the cities of Europe, gave me -such an engaging description of all the places he mentioned, that my -inclination to visit them increased vehemently. My thoughts were so -occupied with this scheme, that the ensuing day, as I was dressing the -Ambassador, I spoke to him in these words. “I do not know, my Lord, if -you will approve of a design which I intend to execute if I obtain your -permission. I wish to make a tour of Italy, and indeed I think it would -not be amiss if I were to absent myself from Rome for a short period.” -His Excellency could not repress his joy in learning these words. -“Guzman,” cried he, “I am charmed with the scheme beyond measure: yes, -my friend, you will act wisely to keep out of sight for a few months; it -will be serviceable to both of us. - -“I am not ignorant of the reports which have been circulated to my -disadvantage, in consequence of your late adventure, which has in fact -made us the jest of the city. I have been confidentially informed of it. -In short we must separate. I have often wished to tell you so, but could -never resolve to undertake so disagreeable a task. Depend upon it, -Guzman,” continued this excellent master, “you shall find yourself in a -situation to travel in affluence to any country you may wish to visit: -you will be treated as a servant whom I esteem, and I part with you with -sincere regret.” When the Ambassador had concluded, I returned him a -thousand thanks for his favorable opinion of me, and for his kind -intentions towards me; and I had no sooner left his apartment than I -despatched one of the scullions for the carrier of Sienna. I had already -begun to pack up my clothes in three trunks which had served for my -wardrobe, when Sayavedra, whom I already reckoned among the number of my -friends, paid me a visit. He affected some surprise at the sight of my -clothes and effects, all spread out in my chamber, and my trunks open -before me. “Ah, Signor Guzman!” cried he, “do you then intend to follow -my advice?” “You have guessed right,” answered I. “I have mentioned my -intention to my master, who has given it his hearty concurrence. Every -thing is decidedly fixed upon. I purpose in two days time to quit Rome -for Sienna, where I shall make some stay at the house of a friend of -mine, a merchant of the name of Pompey. I am not personally acquainted -with him, but he has in his letters testified so much gratitude for -some services I have had it in my power to render him in this city, that -I have no doubt that he will be delighted with an opportunity of -repeating his acknowledgments to me at his own house. So that I expect -much pleasure in my stay at Sienna, whither I am going to send forward -my baggage to-day, addressed to the care of Pompey, that I may not be -incumbered with it during my journey.” - -If Sayavedra paid all possible attention to this information, he -certainly paid no less to me, for while I was packing up my clothes in -the trunks, he took exact notice where I placed those of the greatest -value, and that he should see that I was possessed of such pleased my -foolish vanity and love of parade. A gold chain, some valuable jewels, -and three hundred good pistoles, which I had hoarded up during my stay -at the ambassador’s, did not escape his observation. I had wholly -quitted the gaming table, and I had saved up with the utmost frugality -every present that had been made me. Would to Heaven that I had been -destined to reap the fruits of my improved behaviour: but, alas! that -happiness was reserved for thieves, and not for me. I filled the other -two boxes with what was of less value, and having carefully locked them, -left the bunch of keys upon a table that stood by. We then continued our -conversation, until a lacquey came to inform me that I was wanted by a -person below. My room not appearing to be in a fit state for receiving -company, I begged my new friend to excuse me for a few minutes while I -waited on the person who wanted to speak to me. It was the carrier, whom -in the bustle I had almost forgotten having sent for. I told him on what -day I should set out, and that we might agree on the sum he was to -charge for the carriage of my baggage, I took him up stairs to shew him -of what it consisted. Meantime Sayavedra had done the deed. This -rascal, seeing the coast clear, took the impression of my keys on some -wax, which, I suppose, was part of the ammunition he always carried -about with him, and seeing a letter lying by, which he knew I had just -received from Pompey, he impressed that also into his service. I shewed -my trunks to the carrier, who lifted them up, that he might judge of -their weight. I gave him what he asked for their conveyance to Sienna, -and he withdrew, saying that he would return immediately with his people -to help him away with the boxes, and would set out with them in three -hours time. He had no sooner quitted the house than this friendly -Spaniard offered to take leave of me, under a pretence that his visit -retarded the preparations I was making for my journey. It was to no -purpose to assure him that he by no means incommoded me, nor even to -press him to stay and take breakfast with me: nothing could prevail upon -him to stay, as he was upon the rack of impatience to go and order the -false keys. “At least then, my dear friend,” said I, “acquaint me with -your place of abode. I can by no means think of quitting Rome without -returning your visit.” He replied that he would rather dispense with -that ceremony, and gave me to understand with a very mysterious air, -that he lived privately with a lady, and for reasons, which as a man of -honor he must conceal, he was under the necessity of debarring himself -the pleasure of receiving the visits of his friends. As after hearing -this I could urge him no longer, I suffered this favorite of the ladies -to depart, who, no doubt, hastened with all speed to his companions, to -consult on the measures they should adopt to get possession of my -trunks. He was in league with four rogues, who had for their leader a -famous and notorious thief, called Alexander Bentivoglio: he generally -conducted their enterprises, and assigned to each the part he was to -play, sustaining the chief character himself. But on this occasion he -yielded that honor to Sayavedra, who, being a Spaniard, appeared to him -the most proper person to represent a Castilian. As they were well -provided with disguises of all kinds, they dressed themselves in -character, and set off the next morning for Sienna, which they reached -on the following day. Sayavedra, followed by two of the others dressed -in livery, put up at the best hotel in the town, and gave himself out as -the gentleman in waiting to the Spanish Ambassador. As for Alexander, -who was well known for a rogue throughout Italy, he did not dare to play -the part of a third lacquey; but thought proper to lodge elsewhere with -the fourth cavalier of his company. Sayavedra, putting on a lofty air, -desired to be conducted to the best apartment in the hotel, and having -taken possession of it, sent one of the people to inform Signor Pompey -that his friend Don Guzman had just arrived post from Rome, but was so -fatigued with his journey, that he begged to be excused waiting on him -at present. Pompey, delighted at the arrival of Don Guzman, hastened to -pay his devoirs to a man to whom he was under so much obligation. He -flies to the hotel, and is shewn into a fine chamber, where he sees a -cavalier reposing himself upon a couch, who, seeing him approach, runs -to meet him with open arms. “Ah, Signor Pompey,” cries he, “I flatter -myself that you will pardon the liberty I took in sending my baggage to -your house.” “I can readily excuse that,” replied Pompey, with a smile, -“but I shall not so soon forgive _your_ coming to this place in -preference to my house.” “You are extremely polite,” replied the false -Don Guzman, “but, upon my honor, riding post has fatigued me so much, -that I could not think of being so troublesome.” “For that very reason,” -replied the merchant, “you would have been more comfortable at my -house.” “Another reason too,” continued Sayavedra, “opposed the desire I -had to alight at your door; I am merely passing through Sienna. -To-morrow I set out for Florence by the order of my dear master, who has -given me some commissions to execute in that place; wherefore, I thought -it best not to give you the trouble of receiving me for so short a -visit; but, to make amends,” added he, with a gracious smile, “I will -return in a few days, and promise myself the pleasure of making some -stay with you.” - -Pompey did not let slip this opportunity of pressing him to take a -supper and bed at his house, though but for a single night, but he -declined it with so much earnestness that the merchant, fearful of -offending him, dropped the subject; after which he prepared to take his -leave, assuring him that he would not fail to return in the morning to -see him again before his departure, and wish him a pleasant journey. -Upon this, Sayavedra cried aloud to one of his valets, “here, Gradelin, -take these keys; they belong to my trunks. Signor Pompey will have the -goodness to allow me to send to his house for the clothes and linen -which I shall want during the next eight days. Don’t forget,” added he, -“to bring the dressing-gown, which you will find in the largest box.” -“Would it not be better,” interrupted Pompey, running inconsiderately -into the snare, “to let the trunks be brought here to you, when you can -take out what you want at your leisure.” “You are quite right,” said the -false Guzman, “I will make up a parcel of those things I shall -absolutely want, and put them into the smallest trunk, which I can carry -with me to Florence, and I will send back the other two, which I shall -be much obliged by your taking care of till my return.” - -The merchant then quitted the hotel, and half an hour after my dear -trunks were carried thither by the companions of Sayavedra and one of -the grooms, accompanied by a person who presented to the false Guzman a -present from Pompey, consisting of a basket of fine fruit, and half a -dozen bottles of excellent wine. Sayavedra received this present with -all the politeness imaginable, and dismissed the bearer with a small -gratuity for himself, and a thousand thanks for his master. - -No sooner were the trunks conveyed to the hotel than Alexander -Bentivoglio, who had already learnt the success of the scheme, hastened -to the spot. The false keys they had obtained opened two of them, and -they picked the lock of the third, which contained my money and jewels, -which they divided among them, or, to speak more correctly, which Signor -Alexander appropriated to himself: for he was a bully who awed the rest -of the gang, so that he gave them just such a share of the plunder as -he chose to part with. All that they received was thirty pistoles each, -and the least valuable clothes. After which, he filled the smallest -trunk with what remained for his share, and had the other two crammed -with straw and stones. Then, that no time might be lost, he despatched -one of the band to hire post horses to start by break of day for -Florence. This accommodation was easily procured by these worthy -gentlemen, who, when they paid the innkeeper, ordered him to send back -to Signor Pompey the two trunks which they left at the hotel. - -While this fine game was playing at Sienna, I was employed very busily -at Rome in bidding farewell to my real friends, without the slightest -suspicion of this trick. Nothing now remaining but to bid adieu to my -master, I entered the room with a sorrowful countenance; and after -having assured him, that I should never forget his kindness towards me, -I threw myself at his feet and kissed his hand, which I bathed with my -tears. He was as much affected as I was, and testified extreme regret at -parting with me. - -This excellent nobleman exhorted me to a virtuous course of life, in as -earnest and paternal a manner as if he had been speaking to his own -child. He even embraced me, and throwing round my neck a gold chain -which he usually wore, he told me, “that he gave it to me as a memorial -of his affection.” He added to this proof of his friendship a purse of -fifty pistoles, and one of the best horses in his stables. All the -servants followed his example, in expressing their unwillingness to part -with me: in truth I had never done them any ill offices with my master, -but had often rendered them services; so that there was not one of them -who had just reason to complain of me. I will not pass over in silence a -strange event which took place in Rome the day previous to my -departure, though it has no relation to my own adventures. - -The Ambassador had just finished supper, when a Neapolitan gentleman -came in, who often visited at the palace: he appeared considerably -agitated. “My Lord,” said he to his Excellency, “I am going to relate to -you a most extraordinary tragedy; I have just heard it, and you may -perceive the effect it has had upon me.” “I am very impatient to be -acquainted with it,” said my master. I then placed a chair for the -Neapolitan gentleman, who having seated himself, began as follows. - - - - -CHAP. XXXIII. - -_The loves of Dorido and Clorinia; or the Sever’d Hand._ - - -A Cavalier of this city, called Dorido, a young man of an illustrious -family, an engaging person and great bravery, fell in love with a young -lady of the name, of Clorinia, who was about seventeen years old, -virtuous, beautiful, and of equal rank. The relations of this charming -girl brought her up with so much care, that they would not allow her to -make any connection by which her virtue might be at all endangered. She -was hardly ever suffered even to approach her latticed window, lest some -misfortune should be the consequence, as no one could gaze upon her -extreme beauty with impunity: either her father or her mother, or her -brother Valerio, attended her every where, and watched her every action. -Some months ago, Dorido having accidentally obtained a sight of her, -became violently enamoured: but could declare his love by no other means -than by casting empassioned glances towards the window of her chamber -when she happened to be there, as he passed by the house. If the homage -of his eyes was not always remarked by the object of it, at least it was -sometimes noticed; at all events, it was practised often enough to -produce the wished for effect. - -Clorinia at first was satisfied with looking at the Cavalier without -being seen; but soon she felt a wish that he should see her also, -without knowing why she wished it, and answering by little and little to -his amorous looks, she at last conceived a passion in the same way in -which she had inspired it,--I mean by appearing at her lattice. Dorido -soon guessed that he had made on her all the impression he desired, and -since he was denied more, indulged himself in the transports of -believing himself beloved. Nevertheless, he sought to reap a more solid -satisfaction from his conquest. He contrived to form an acquaintance -with Valerio, and succeeded so well as to attach him in such a degree, -that they were inseparable. Valerio could no longer live without his -friend Dorido; they were always together, sometimes at one house, -sometimes at another. This gave Dorido an opportunity of sometimes -seeing his charmer, and even speaking to her, but never alone. The eyes -of the lovers alone communicated to each other the secrets of their -hearts. This state of affairs, however, did not last for ever. Clorinia -made her maid Scintila the confidante of her passion; this old woman, -who had wit, and wished to serve her mistress, called upon Dorido, and -having met with him: “noble Cavalier,” said she, “you need not attempt -to disguise the truth from me, I know the state of your heart. You love -Clorinia, and I am much mistaken if your love is not returned. You are -both dying with impatience for an interview, and I cannot see your -situation without pity; I shall never rest till I have procured you the -satisfaction you both so ardently desire.” The lover, transported with -joy at these words, thanked the Duenna for her good will, assuring her -that she should not find him ungrateful if she succeeded. Then making -use of so excellent an opportunity, he wrote a very passionate billet, -which he conjured her to convey to the amiable sister of Valerio. -Scintila returned immediately to her mistress, to acquaint her with the -step she had taken, and presented her with Dorido’s letter. Clorinia -blamed her for taking charge of it--but soon forgave her: and nothing -was now thought of but how to manage the interview with the lovers. The -lady raised so many difficulties, that she would have relinquished it -altogether, if the old woman, who was more ingenious, had not hit upon a -plan they both approved of. Scintila’s bedchamber was on the ground -floor; and adjoining to her room there was another, which was filled -with old and useless furniture: this room was lighted only by a small -window defended by two strong bars of iron, through which there was only -room sufficient for a hand to pass. This window, which was about five or -six feet from the ground, looked into a lane or blind alley quite -uninhabited; and the place appeared exactly suited to lovers, who were -satisfied to limit their happiness to conversation only. The old woman, -as soon as she saw her young mistress disposed to speak with Dorido -through this little window, hastened to inform the Cavalier, who on the -ensuing night at eleven o’clock placed himself at a convenient spot. He -approached the bars, where he found Scintila expecting him; who -requested him to wait patiently until the servants were gone to bed. He -did not languish long in suspense: the wished for moment soon arrived. -Clorinia came trembling to the window, at which her lover presented -himself in speechless agitation. As they both now loved for the first -time, they were agitated at the sight of each other, and the excess of -their feelings at first prevented them from speaking; but love has more -than one language. The lady passed one of her beautiful hands between -the bars of the window, and the lover clasping it with ardor, covered it -with a thousand kisses. At last, by degrees, they broke silence, and -indulged in passionate protestations of eternal love. Their souls were -so entirely occupied by the pleasure of seeing each other, that they -would have suffered daylight to find them together, if the old woman had -not interrupted their conversation to warn them that it was time to -separate. Before he would retire, Dorido entreated his mistress to allow -him to return the next night at the same hour to the window, and the -lady could not resolve to refuse him this favour. At last they -separated, equally delighted with the conversation they had just had -with each other, and filled with impatience for another interview. -Dorido especially was too much agitated to be able to take any rest, or, -to speak more correctly, he was miserable until the time of his return -to the window. You may easily suppose he did not fail to be punctual; -his mistress, finding no obstacle to her design, appeared again at the -same place, and their meeting was the second time less embarrassed by -timidity than the first. The Cavalier, who had a great deal of wit, said -a thousand fine things to his mistress, who replied to them in as lively -a manner. This conversation lasted for three hours, and their discourse -was mingled with innocent caresses; so that the second interview -pleased them both as much as the first. The prudent Scintila was again -obliged to separate them. Again and again they accused her of cruelty, -not reflecting, that though she disturbed their pleasures, it was only -with a view to render them more lasting; for, in fact, they continued to -enjoy their stolen interviews with so much secrecy and good management, -that not a soul living knew of them but the old woman and one other -person. - -This other person was a young man of rank, named Horatio, a native of -this city. He also loved Clorinia, having by chance seen her at her -lattice, and had revealed his love to her by signs, but finding them -very badly received, he concluded that he had a rival who was more -happy, and judged that rival to be Dorido, as he was united in so strict -a friendship with Valerio. To clear up his well founded suspicions, he -sought out Dorido, who was one of his friends, to whom he spoke in -these words, “My dear Dorido, I am come to ask a favour of you, and I -conjure you not to refuse me; my happiness depends upon it. You are -continually with Valerio; you very often visit at his house, and I -cannot help thinking that you are in love with his sister: if I am -mistaken in my conjectures, oblige me by declaring it. You are too well -deserving the heart of that lady, for me to dispute it with you.” “You -love Clorinia then,” exclaimed Dorido, a little ruffled; “I confess that -I am quite charmed with her,” replied Horatio, “but nevertheless I do -you justice, and agree that you deserve better than I, the happiness of -being her husband.”--“Let us speak without flattery,” interrupted -Dorido. “I should doubtless consider myself highly honoured in becoming -the husband of Clorinia; but I frankly confess to you, that I have no -design to marry her.” “Is it possible,” cried Horatio, eagerly, “that -you do not mean to marry her? ah! my friend, how different are my -intentions from yours. My highest ambition is to unite my fate with -hers; your views should yield to mine: sacrifice the mad hopes you have -conceived. I expect this effort from your friendship and your virtue.” -“You might add,” said Dorido, “that I owe it to the family of Clorinia; -yes,” continued he, “I will leave the field open to you; and if -Valerio’s sister should accept your addresses and consent to give you -her hand, I will cease to be your rival. I will do more, I will speak in -your favour, and I assure you that in that case it shall not be my fault -if your wishes be not fulfilled.” Horatio was so well satisfied with -this speech, that he testified his gratitude to Dorido, without thinking -that his promise was only conditional, and therefore that he ought to -mistrust it. He made no reflection of this kind, but even requested -Dorido to use his good offices in his behalf with Clorinia. Dorido could -not but be touched at the frankness of Horatio; and being generous -enough to prefer the happiness of his friend to his own inclinations, as -his views were purer, he resolved to do all in his power to wean his -affections from this lady. In fact the very next time he saw her, he -addressed her thus: “You are not ignorant, Madam, that Horatio is added -to the number of your slaves, but I am doubtful whether you know how -truly he adores you. Learn then that he thinks only of you, and that to -receive your hand is the only wish of his heart.” “I am charmed to hear -it,” replied Clorinia; “my reception of him shall convince you how -little I wish for any other lover but Dorido.” “I well know,” replied -the Cavalier, “the value of preference so glorious for me, but I should -think that I abused your goodness, if I was not capable of some -self-denial; Horatio has many good qualities, and when you know him -better you will not be sorry, perhaps, if your friends should second his -wishes.” “How!” cried the lady, “to hear you is enough to make me -believe that _you_ would make me miserable; is it possible that you can -wish me to reply to the tenderness of Horatio?” “Never,” answered -Dorido; “I have no such thought: I only wished to convince you that if -you feel any inclination for Horatio, and your friends approve of his -addresses, my heart would in vain rebel; that I would sacrifice myself -to the happiness of my rival, to shew you how entirely devoted I am to -all your wishes.” “I fear,” replied she, “that the victim would be as -submissive as you represent him, and that your love for me is not quite -so sincere as you profess it to be. “But,” continued she, “I do not -pretend to put you to the trial. Dorido shall be my first lover and my -last: upon this assurance you may rely: let Horatio persevere as much -as he pleases in his love for me, he will never be more successful. I -will confess to you that I was acquainted with his passion, which I -learnt from his gestures before my window, and have been so little -pleased by it, that I have conceived a dislike for him, which almost -borders on hatred.” - -After these words, Dorido did not dare to mention Horatio again, as he -perceived very plainly that the topic was extremely disagreeable to -Clorinia. He changed the conversation for the rest of the time they were -together, and the night was passed in mutual protestations of eternal -love. On the next day Dorido received a visit from Horatio. “Well my -friend,” said the latter, “have you seen Clorinia,--did anything fall -from her lovely lips which could be interpreted in my favour?” “I am -very sorry,” replied the other, “that I cannot give you a very -flattering account; you have but little room to hope; I extolled your -merit,--I pointed out the splendor of the alliance,--I represented you -as much more in love with her than perhaps you really are,--but the -cruel beauty silenced me by declaring that she could not reply to your -love, and that the soft bonds of Hymen should never unite her fate with -yours.” At these words, Horatio turned pale and fell into a profound -reverie, while Dorido sympathising in his grief like a true friend, -pointed out to him that he ought to relinquish his pretensions rather -than attempt to constrain the inclinations of Clorinia, and that there -were in Rome many other ladies equally amiable, who would do more -justice to his merit. “To conclude, my dear Horatio,” added he, “I am -sure I have given you no cause to be dissatisfied with me. I would -willingly have yielded the sister of Valerio to you, provided she had -been at all inclined to favour your passion. I would have made this -sacrifice to friendship. Can you now refuse to abandon a conquest that -you are by no means sure to gain?” Horatio then broke silence, and -replied to his friend: “Far from reproaching you, I must consider myself -under a great obligation to you for the service you have fruitlessly -attempted to render me, in pleading my cause. I confess that it is more -reasonable that I should renounce my pretensions to a hand which I am -not able to obtain, than that you should relinquish a heart which you -already possess--farewell my friend, I will spare no pains to enable me -to profit by your advice, and form an attachment elsewhere.” He quitted -Dorido as he concluded these words, and with an air which persuaded him, -that, struck by the force of his arguments, he intended to employ his -utmost endeavours to conquer his passion for a woman whose ingratitude -convinced him that he loved her too well. But his intentions were far -different. He looked upon Dorido as a traitor. “He is a false friend,” -said he to himself: “far from saying any thing to Clorinia in my favor, -he has only spoken to my disadvantage; however, be that as it may, I am -resolved to persevere; I will ask her in marriage through my father, who -will be more ready to serve me than my rival was.” Thus Horatio resolved -to impart his passion to his father, who approved of his choice, and -promised to interpose in his behalf, undertaking to speak to Clorinia’s -father on the subject; which he did soon afterwards. The two old men had -a long conversation together; and the result was that a marriage was -agreed upon, provided that the lady should show no repugnance to it; as -her father was resolved not to constrain her inclinations. But as soon -as a marriage with Horatio was proposed to her, she testified so much -aversion for that gentleman, that they lost all hopes of her ever being -more favourably inclined towards him, and every thing was consequently -broken off. How pitiable is the situation of that man whose love -tyrannizes over his reason! Horatio, seeing that his passion was -despised, and his rival triumphant, felt all his love changed into hate: -he now considered Clorinia only as an object of detestation; and -refusing to listen to the voice of reason, he desired nothing more -ardently than an opportunity to avenge himself at once on the lady and -her favored lover. He employed a faithful servant of his own to watch -them, and having by this means discovered the time and place of their -nocturnal meetings, he conceived one of the most cruel and horrible -designs that ever entered into the heart of man. One night he took care -to be in the lane before the arrival of Dorido, and approached the -grated window where the sister of Valerio had already placed herself. -The darkness of the night caused her to mistake him for the lover she -expected, and she addressed him with so much kindness that Horatio -became still more irritated than ever. The traitor took care not to -speak lest he should betray himself, but seizing with his left hand one -of the hands of Clorinia, which that lady, in her mistake, had extended -to him through the grating, he suddenly severed it from her arm with a -very sharp knife which he held in his right hand: after which he -speedily retreated from the lane, highly delighted with the success of -his scheme. Figure to yourself the deplorable spectacle which presented -itself to the relations of Clorinia, when, attracted to the spot by the -cries of Scintila, they rushed half undressed into the room where the -unfortunate lady lay stretched on the floor senseless, and weltering in -her blood. But when they perceived the loss of her hand, the unfortunate -parents fainted on the spot, and it was not without difficulty that -they were recalled to life by the exertions of Valerio and the servants, -who were aroused by the noise. - -The father and mother being a little recovered, began to doubt as well -as their son, whether Clorinia were not to blame in this lamentable -affair. This was a mystery which Scintila could easily have elucidated, -if she had not thought it more advisable to defer this explanation until -a more convenient opportunity; so that they now thought only of saving -Clorinia’s life if possible. Valerio instantly withdrew to his chamber, -where he dressed himself with all expedition, in order that he might go -himself, and bring a very skilful surgeon, who was a friend of his; -while the father, after he had enjoined the strictest secrecy to all his -servants on the subject of this disastrous affair, endeavoured with -their assistance to staunch the blood of his daughter, by wrapping up in -linen the arm which had been so cruelly mangled. - -Valerio was soon ready; he went out and first of all hastened into the -lane, to see if he could by the light of a lantern which he ordered a -servant to carry before him, discover the lost hand: but Horatio had -carried it away with him, and nothing was to be seen beneath the little -window but a track of blood running down the wall. The wretched brother -of Clorinia felt all his grief renewed at this sight; but as he -proceeded, he met and recognised Dorido, who was hastening towards the -lane with all the feelings of a happy lover. “Ah, my friend!” cried -Valerio to him in a mournful voice, “whither are you going? I see that -you are unacquainted with the tragic catastrophe that has just occurred. -Oh wretched Clorinia!” “Gracious Heaven,” cried her unfortunate lover, -“what misfortune do you deplore,--what has happened?” “A misfortune,” -answered Valerio, “which our family ought to conceal from all mankind; -but I will not hide any thing from you; I ought even to inform you of -it as a friend who will not refuse to assist me in discovering the -assassin of my unhappy sister.” These last words pierced Dorido’s heart; -in a faint and trembling voice he enquired what was the matter. Valerio -told him in a few words, and requested him to accompany him to the -surgeon, but Dorido refused, saying to him, with an air which shewed the -fury that began to animate him; “No no, Valerio, I shall employ my time -better; there is no occasion to engage ourselves both on the same -errand, when there is so much more to be done. Do you alone undertake to -conduct the surgeon to your house, while I seek for the barbarian who -could commit a crime which no one can hear of without trembling. If I -can discover this perfidious wretch, let him expect a chastisement -worthy of his treason. In a word,” added he, “leave me to revenge you; I -feel as acutely as you the misfortune of Clorinia.” Upon this the two -friends separated. Dorido returned homewards, vowing to listen only to -his anger in the revenge which he purposed to take upon Horatio; for he -could suspect no one but him of having committed this action. As soon as -he arrived at home, he shut himself up in his chamber that he might -freely lament the loss of his mistress. “My dear Clorinia,” cried he, -“my rival, envious of your love for me, has deceived you in the darkness -of this fatal night: you have mistaken him for your Dorido; I am then -the unhappy cause of the misfortune which has happened to you. Were it -not for me, you still would have been living in perfect peace with your -father. It is I who have assassinated you; but your death shall but -little precede my own. No sooner shall I have sacrificed Horatio to your -ashes, than I also will join you in eternal darkness. Oh that it were -permitted to thee to see and rejoice in the just vengeance which I will -inflict on the wretch who has dared to deprive thee of thy innocent -hand!” - -Thus did Dorido bewail his mistress’s fate until day-break, when he -repaired to her house, where every one was in the greatest distress and -agitation. Valerio and his father seemed to be doubly afflicted at the -sight of him, and they embraced each other almost drowned in tears. “Oh -Dorido, my son,” said the old man, “my daughter is at the point of -death, having lost so great a quantity of blood as alone would be -sufficient to terminate her existence. Was there ever so unfortunate a -father? Who can have been capable of committing so horrible an act? What -punishment can console us under our present affliction?” “Sir,” answered -Dorido, “suspend we our lamentations for a while, and let us think of -one thing only which concerns us all. The author of this misery must -perish; I will inflict on him an adequate punishment. But before I -execute a revenge on him which shall astonish and horrify posterity, I -must make myself what I now am not. Receive me, therefore, for your -son-in-law; it will be more for the honour of us all that it should be -said that Clorinia was avenged by her husband, than by her father’s -friend.” - -Both father and son accepted Dorido’s proposal most willingly. In fact, -it was very honourable towards them, and very necessary to prevent the -disadvantageous reports which might be circulated respecting their -misfortune. The old man went himself to acquaint Clorinia with it, who, -debilitated as she was from her extreme illness, shed tears of joy, and -exclaimed, with transport, that “were she but the wife of Dorido, she -could die contented.” She requested to be allowed to speak to him; and -as she had then but little fever, it was considered that this -consolation might be allowed her without danger; but no sooner did he -appear at her bed-side, than she fainted from extreme joy. She was soon -restored to her senses; but the surgeon, fearful of a relapse, would not -permit the lovers to converse together. They were obliged, therefore, to -express their thoughts by looks instead of words. Dorido, finding that -his presence seemed to console the invalid, would not leave her the -whole of the day. In the evening a priest and notary arrived, and the -marriage was celebrated before three relations, who had been sent for as -witnesses. - -Clorinia was much better the two following days, and the surgeon seemed -to entertain some hopes of her life; but he was deceived. On the third -day the fever returned with such increased violence, that he pronounced -her dissolution to be at hand. Dorido, now giving her up for dead, no -longer delayed the execution of his vengeance. He went in search of -Horatio to every place in which he was likely to find him; and having -met him, he was most profuse in his compliments, and, as though he knew -nothing of what had happened, invited him to sup at his house. Horatio, -who had committed this barbarous action in the most private manner, and -who as yet had not heard the affair whispered either in the City or in -Clorinia’s neighbourhood, imagined that Dorido could not yet have heard -of it, and suspecting no ill design, went to sup with him as he had -frequently done before. They both sat down to table, and began to eat -and drink. Dorido had caused some lethargic drugs to be mixed with -Horatio’s wine; so that that gentleman soon fell into a sort of trance, -during which Dorido and his two servants bound his hands and feet, and -having slung a rope round his neck, with another rope they bound him to -a pillar in the parlour, after having carefully shut every door in the -house. In this condition they chafed his nose and temples with some -strong spirits and restored him to his senses. - -When the wretched Horatio found himself so extremely fast bound that he -could not stir, he soon perceived the danger which threatened him, and, -hoping to soften his rival’s anger, he confessed his crime, and implored -his mercy in terms the most pathetic that his fear of death could -inspire him with. Useless were his prayers! he had to appease an enemy -who was inexorable, a husband who beheld his dying wife before his eyes! -Dorido, so far from being moved by his entreaties, cut off both his -hands himself, and bade his servants to strangle him, ordering them -afterwards to carry his corpse at midnight to the top of the street, -with his two hands tied to his neck. As for himself, not being able to -support the loss of his wife, he left Rome this morning. It is not -known whither he has directed his steps; and I am just informed that -Clorinia died a few hours after his departure. - -The Neapolitan gentleman here concluded his story, which much affected -the Ambassador and his company, who deplored the lady’s untimely fate. -They pitied Dorido also; but all concluded by observing that in the -conduct of both the gentlemen there was manifested a spirit of vengeance -which savoured very little of Christianity. - - - - -CHAP. XXXIV. - -_Guzman leaves Rome, and arrives at his friend Pompey’s house at Sienna, -where he hears bad news._ - - -The day subsequent to this sad catastrophe, which was the general -subject of conversation in Rome, I took my leave of that city, well -mounted, but poorer, alas! than I imagined. Assuming a consequential -air, and anticipating much pleasure, I proceeded towards Sienna, where I -imagined my friend Pompey would be most anxiously expecting me. Having -arrived there, I repaired straightway to his house. - -He was at home, and received me in a civil manner, though not without -evident embarrassment. “Signor Pompey,” said I, embracing him, “your -friend Guzman can scarcely express his extreme joy at being at length -introduced to your personal acquaintance.” My very name seemed to -astonish him. “How,” answered he with surprise, “can you be that Guzman -to whom I am under so many and such great obligations?” I was almost -frozen by these words, for I knew they could portend no good. “For what -possible reason,” cried I with emotion, “can you be so much astonished -at seeing me?” “You will soon know that to your cost,” replied the -merchant. “I see plainly that I have been duped, and that you are in -reality that Guzman d’Alfarache whom I expected.” - -These words were like a thunder-bolt to me, and I instantly foresaw that -some accident had happened to my property. Impatient to discover the -truth, I intreated Pompey to explain himself more clearly. “Well then,” -said he, “you must know that there has passed through Sienna a cavalier -calling himself gentleman to the Spanish Ambassador, who came hither -from Rome, followed by two servants, on his road to Florence with -despatches from his master. This spark introduced himself to me as the -Guzman d’Alfarache who had been of so much service to me in my late -law-suit, and he had in his possession the keys of your trunks.” I -thought I should have fallen into convulsions even at these words, but a -more circumstantial detail of the whole adventure drove me almost to -madness. I requested to be allowed to inspect my trunks. He conducted me -immediately to the chamber prepared for my reception, and pointing out -two large ones, “There are the two that are left behind,” said he; “but -even these have been in their power as well as the third.” I sighed -bitterly when I recollected that my gold and jewels were in the one that -was missing. I failed not, however, to open the others, and should have -been somewhat appeased if the thieves, satisfied with having my money, -had not meddled with my clothes; but no such consolation was in store -for me. - -In justice to Pompey, I must acknowledge that he was not less afflicted -than myself when I informed him that I had been robbed of two thousand -crowns. After all, however, his affliction may have been principally -caused by the fear that I should hold him accountable for the loss of my -property, whatever he might be able to urge in his own justification. So -far from thinking of making him uneasy on this point, however, I tried -all in my power to conceal the grief which consumed me. It appeared to -me that a man who wished to assume the carriage of a gentleman ought not -to shew much vexation at the loss of his clothes. Nevertheless, I was -really half distracted, and Heaven knows I had reason enough, not being -in possession of another coat except the one I had on, nor any linen -but two shirts in my portmanteau. - -In vain did I rack my brain with conjectures as to who could be the -person who had taken the impression of my keys. I knew not whom to -suspect. As for Sayavedra, I esteemed him too sincerely to entertain the -slightest mistrust of him. It was not Pompey’s fault, however, if I was -so long in discovering the thief; for as, in his relation of this -affair, he described the person of the false Guzman, he gave me an exact -portrait of Sayavedra; the figure, the hair, the voice, and the manners, -were all his. So prejudiced was I in his favour, that I should have -thought it quite a crime to have suspected him on account of the -resemblance. I will say more: though I remembered that I had left him -alone in my chamber when the carrier of Sienna came to look at my boxes, -my respect for Sayavedra was proof against the recollection of even this -circumstance. - -While my host and I were making very useless reflections upon my loss, a -servant came to tell us that supper was ready. We accordingly went down -into the parlour, and sat down to table with gloomy faces, and without -much inclination to eat. Pompey, perceiving that this vexatious affair -had completely taken away my appetite, said to me, “Signor Guzman, your -property is not so entirely lost as to render its recovery quite -hopeless. I have not been idle; the Bargello[A], who is a friend of -mine, has undertaken the pursuit of the thieves; and I assure you I -place great reliance on his exertions. He will return this evening or -to-morrow, and I trust he will be the bearer of good news.” “I hope so -too,” answered I; “but, between ourselves, I don’t think that much -confidence ought to be placed in persons of that kind: especially in an -affair where restitution is to be made.” - - [A] The Translator has not been able to meet with the word “Bargello” - in either of the best Spanish Dictionaries; but presumes that it must - signify a Magistrate, or perhaps inferior Officer of Justice. - -Though the table was covered with well-dressed dishes and excellent -wine, we were so little inclined to eat or drink, that supper was soon -over. As I pretended to be very much fatigued, my host conducted me to -my chamber, and soon withdrew, to my great satisfaction, for I found his -conversation very tiresome. I spent part of the night in pacing my -chamber absorbed in meditation: and did not retire to rest till near -day-break; when my mind was so overwhelmed and fatigued with the -different thoughts that agitated it by turns, that at last I fell -asleep. My slumbers were soon disturbed; a loud noise on the staircase -awoke me suddenly, and I heard several persons vociferating at the same -time, “The thief is taken! the thief is taken!” - -I drew back the bed-curtains, being scarcely able to believe my ears, -and I was going to rise, that I might know what to think of it; when in -rushed the merchant’s whole family, wife, children, and servants, all -speaking together, and repeating what I had heard before: I requested -the wife to explain the meaning of all this. “It means,” said she “that -the Bargello is expected in the course of an hour, with one of the -thieves in his custody: he sent one of his attendants forward to give -Pompey notice of it, who is dressing himself that he may wait upon you.” -My host was not slow in bringing this man before me, to whom I put some -questions, and he informed me, “that the thief who was taken was he who -had sustained the character of Guzman.” - -This news revived me a little, and I began to flatter myself, that I -should recover at least a part of my effects, since we had apprehended -the thief. Pompey also indulged the same hopes, and the whole family -evinced the greatest joy at this fortunate event. I gave a pistole to -the man who had ridden all the way at full gallop to bring me the news; -and hastened to dress myself, that I might recognize the scoundrel who -had personated me. Pompey also prepared to accompany me, that he might -speak to the magistrates in my favour. - -While we were conversing on the subject, a servant came to inform us, -that the Bargello was at the door on horseback, and that his myrmidons -were conveying the thief to prison. The merchant sent a request to the -Provost that he would alight and favour us with his company up stairs. - -The Bargello, as great a scoundrel as ever was born, marched in with an -air of triumph. First of all he related to us the intrepid manner in -which he had secured the thief, and made me quite impatient by long -digressions which did little honour to his modesty. I interrupted his -heroic recital, to inquire what was of most importance to me to know, -namely, whether he could give me any information respecting my money. -“As for the money,” said he, with an air of great nonchalance, “he had -about him but five and twenty pistoles: which is not much to be wondered -at. Though he played the chief character in the piece, he is not at the -head of the gang. That honour belongs to a certain Alexander -Bentivoglio, of whom I have heard but too often: and who may yet some -day fall into my clutches; however,” continued he, “console yourself: -the scoundrel who is the cause of your misfortune is in our power, and I -promise you that he shall be hung.” I could scarcely repress my rage at -this impertinent discourse. I fairly wished them all at the devil -together. The Provost who talked to me in that manner,--his man who had -cost me a pistole,--and the merchant who, by his imprudence, had placed -me in this embarrassing situation. I began to be angry in good earnest. -The Bargello perceiving that so far from thinking of rewarding him as he -expected, I was highly dissatisfied, took his leave very much displeased -with my Lordship; and telling Pompey that if he had known that I should -have received his services so ungratefully, he should not have taken -much trouble about the affair. - -As soon as he was gone, Pompey called for his cloak, and expressed an -intimation of going to solicit the judges. As for me, I had a great -curiosity to see the thief who was in prison, and having repaired -thither, it was with no small astonishment that I recognized Sayavedra; -though he had been accurately described to me. He threw himself at my -feet the moment he saw me. He was as pale as death, and earnestly begged -me to pardon him. “My dear Signor Don Guzman,” cried he, drowned in -tears, “have pity on a wretch who sincerely repents having betrayed -you.” He was going on in this strain, for he had prepared a long -harangue to excite my pity; but I did not allow him time to say more. I -loaded him with reproaches; but even while I thus reviled him I felt my -anger growing weaker every moment. All the feelings of indignation which -agitated me gave way insensibly to emotions of pity, which I should have -been weak enough to have suffered him to perceive, had I not hastened -from the presence of a traitor, who would at least have been condemned -to the galleys, if the administrators of justice in Sienna had acted -with a little wholesome severity. - -The judges of that period however, as you will soon perceive, acted as a -thousand others have done before them, and ten thousand since. The next -day they sent to me one of their clerks to propose that I should bind -myself to prosecute the prisoner. I answered that I should be very -ready to do it, provided that they would engage that my lost property -should be restored to me; but that otherwise I would not: that I did not -wish for the death of the offender, and that hanging him would not at -all replenish my purse; in short that I wished for nothing but my money -and my clothes, and that I had given up all hopes of them, since they -were in too good hands for me to have any chance of regaining them. The -clerk had no sooner reported to the judges what I said, than considering -that there was no more spoil to be gleaned from this affair, except the -pistoles which they had taken from the thief they had secured, they -satisfied themselves with condemning him to the pillory for two or three -hours, and perpetual banishment from Sienna. These upright magistrates -urged in defence of so mild a punishment, that as the culprit had no -marks of branding on his shoulders, it was a proof that he had never -been guilty before, and that consequently he deserved some indulgence. -A pretty reason this for suffering a professed thief to escape! And is -it not a most judicious arrangement to banish him from the country where -he had robbed? It was as if they had said to him, “Go friend, and rob -elsewhere.” - -I did not yet know what punishment the judges intended to impose on -Sayavedra, and I was at dinner with Pompey, when one his servants, who -had heard the sentence pronounced, rushed into the room quite out of -breath, and cried out with as much apparent satisfaction, as if he had -announced the restoration of my property: “Huzza! Signor Don Guzman, the -thief who has robbed you, is condemned to the Pillory and the iron -collar, and he is just now going to be fastened into it. It will be your -own fault if you do not witness his punishment.” I regretted at this -moment that this fool was not my own servant, and that I was not at -liberty to knock his teeth down his throat for it; for if ever I was -tempted to strike a man, it was upon this occasion. I was obliged -however to endure this mortification, as well as the cold treatment -which I experienced from that time from my host. He changed all at once -from one extreme to the other, and looked upon me only as a stranger who -incommoded him, and whom he wished to get rid of. - -Is it possible! you will say. What the Pompey to whom you had been so -serviceable, and who in his letters professed himself so sincerely -obliged,--could this very Pompey repay you with ingratitude? alas it was -but too true. He assumed all at once a cool and distant air, and gave me -to understand by his behaviour, that he desired my absence. This conduct -was owing in a great measure to my telling him that I should not return -to Rome for some time. He concluded from this, that I should not have -it in my power to render him any further service, and in all -probability, as we should have no continued connexion between us, he was -quite indifferent as to whether I was dissatisfied with him or not. He -even went so far as to ask me without ceremony when I intended to -proceed on my journey. I answered him that I should set out the next -day; upon which he replied with a distant air, that he was sorry to part -with me so soon, though he never made the slightest motion to press me -to stay any longer. I was not a little vexed to think of having taken so -much pains to oblige a man who felt so little gratitude, that far from -offering me any assistance to make me some amends for what he had caused -me to lose, he was so unfeeling as to count the minutes with impatience -until I was out of his house. So that the first thing I did the next -morning was to take leave of Signor Pompey, and I took care by my -manner towards him, to let him see the opinion I entertained of his -conduct. - - - - -CHAP. XXXV. - -_Soon after his departure from Sienna, Guzman meets with Sayavedra, whom -he takes into his service, and carries with him to Florence._ - - -I was so anxious to escape from Sienna, that clapping spurs to my horse, -I disappeared like lightning from the eyes of the ungrateful Pompey. -After proceeding some miles, I perceived at a distance a man on foot, -who appeared exactly to resemble my thief Sayavedra. In fact it was he, -who, in pursuance of his sentence of banishment, was hastening to quit -the territory of Sienna, to exercise his talents in some other place. - -I could not help feeling an emotion of pity, at the sight of this -miserable wretch; and thinking less of his treachery than of the -infinite assistance he had rendered me in the hog adventure, I could not -refrain from speaking to him. He also had recognised me, and when I came -near him, ran up to me bathed in tears, and, clasping my knees, he -entreated me a thousand times to pardon his ingratitude and his perfidy. -He added, that he wished with all his soul, to expiate his crime, to be -my slave for life; and that if I would receive him, I might rely on his -oath, that he would be the most faithful servant in the world. After I -had reflected on this proposal, I thought I had better accept it. - -Do you not blame me, friendly reader, for encumbering myself with an -attendant whose character I was aware of, and who had already robbed me, -and would not fail to give me another specimen of his skill the first -opportunity? I know by my own experience, that evil propensities are -not so soon got rid of; but now that from my own poverty I had nothing -to lose, honesty did not appear to me to be an indispensable requisite -in a servant. In the _profession_ that I foresaw I should soon be -obliged to follow, I should I knew have occasion for a _virtuoso_, and -Sayavedra was one exactly for my purpose. - -I took him, therefore, into my service; and I had as good reason -afterwards to congratulate myself on having renewed my acquaintance with -him, as I had before to regret that I had ever known him. He soon -convinced me, when we arrived at the inn where we intended to sleep, -that I had acted most wisely in attaching him to me. He was always on -the alert to contribute in every way to my convenience, and I could not -sufficiently admire the attention with which he endeavoured to -anticipate my every desire. In short, his extreme zeal, good -understanding, and spirits, conspired to console me considerably for the -loss of my goods. Very early the next morning we set out again, one on -horseback and the other on foot, and proceeded to Florence, which I had -heard so highly spoken of. Praised, however, as it had been to me, the -magnificence of its buildings amazed me exceedingly. Sayavedra, who -observed my astonishment, said to me with a smile, “it appears to me, -that you are somewhat agreeably surprised at the sight of this city.” -“In truth, you have guessed rightly,” replied I, “I am completely -charmed with it; I did not think there was another Rome in the world.” -“And yet,” replied he, “you see nothing of its beauties to what may be -seen. Some of the houses here, which might pass for as many palaces, are -ornamented within with some of the most beautiful works of architecture. -Florence may with great truth be called the eighth wonder of the world; -since it is the flower of flowers, and the flower of all Italy.” -Sayavedra then related to me the History of Florence, from the time of -the civil wars of Catiline. - -My squire Sayavedra, who was well acquainted with the town, from having -lived there some time, conducted me to one of the best inns, where he -was pleased to make me pass for a Spanish gentleman, named Don Guzman, -and nephew to the Ambassador from Spain to Rome. With the greatest -effrontery he communicated my quality to the landlord _in confidence_. -Being without baggage, and having only one horse between us, seemed to -belie his assertions; but to throw something like the appearance of -probability on his story, he said that we had been obliged to set out in -great haste, and that we expected a servant to follow us instantly with -our trunks. Although the inn was full of gentlemen of the first -importance, I was shewn into one of the best rooms, the landlord having -been given to understand that I had come to Florence on an affair of -consequence, and that I should probably make a long stay; this caused -him to behave in the most respectful manner to me. - -The next day, the prudent Sayavedra was of opinion that we ought to buy -a large chest, and give out that it contained our most valuable -property, though intending to fill it at our leisure with whatever -fortune might be pleased to send us. I approved of his idea, and charged -him to make the purchase immediately. - - END OF VOL. II. - - London: Printed by J. Nichols and Son, - 25, Parliament-street, Westminster. - - - - - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The life and adventures of Guzman -D'Alfarache, or the Spanish Rogue, by Alain-René Le Sage - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LIFE D'ALFARACHE, VOL. 2/3 *** - -***** This file should be named 52938-0.txt or 52938-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/2/9/3/52938/ - -Produced by Josep Cols Canals, Chuck Greif and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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II., by Alain-René Le Sage. -</title> -<style type="text/css"> - p {margin-top:.2em;text-align:justify;margin-bottom:.2em;text-indent:4%;} - -.c {text-align:center;text-indent:0%;} - -.nind {text-indent:0%;} - -small {font-size: 70%;} - -big {font-size: 130%;} - -h1 {margin-top:5%;text-align:center;clear:both; -font-weight:normal;} - - h2 {margin:4% auto 2% auto;text-align:center;clear:both; - font-size:100%;font-weight:normal;} - - hr {width:20em;margin:2em auto 0em auto;clear:both;color:black;} - - hr.full {width: 60%;margin:2% auto 2% auto;border-top:1px solid black; -padding:.1em;border-bottom:1px solid black;border-left:none;border-right:none;} - - table {margin:2% auto 2% auto;border: 4px outset black;padding:.5em; -text-align:center;text-indent:0%;} - - body{margin-left:4%;margin-right:6%;background:#ffffff;color:black;font-family:"Times New Roman", serif;font-size:medium;} - -a:link {background-color:#ffffff;color:blue;text-decoration:none;} - - link {background-color:#ffffff;color:blue;text-decoration:none;} - -a:visited {background-color:#ffffff;color:purple;text-decoration:none;} - -a:hover {background-color:#ffffff;color:#FF0000;text-decoration:underline;} - -.smcap {font-variant:small-caps;font-size:100%;} - - img {border:none;} - -.figcenter {margin-top:3%;margin-bottom:3%;clear:both; -margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;text-align:center;text-indent:0%;} - @media print, handheld - {.figcenter - {page-break-before: avoid;} - } - -.footnote {width:95%;margin:auto 3% 1% auto;font-size:0.9em;position:relative;} - -.label {position:relative;left:-.5em;top:0;text-align:left;font-size:.8em;} - -.fnanchor {vertical-align:30%;font-size:.8em;} - -.pagenum {font-style:normal;position:absolute; -left:95%;font-size:55%;text-align:right;color:gray; -background-color:#ffffff;font-variant:normal;font-style:normal;font-weight:normal;text-decoration:none;text-indent:0em;} -@media print, handheld -{.pagenum - {display: none;} - } -</style> - </head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The life and adventures of Guzman -D'Alfarache, or the Spanish Rogue, by Alain-René Le Sage - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: The life and adventures of Guzman D'Alfarache, or the Spanish Rogue vol. 2/3 - -Author: Alain-René Le Sage - -Translator: John Henry Brady - -Release Date: August 30, 2016 [EBook #52938] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LIFE D'ALFARACHE, VOL. 2/3 *** - - - - -Produced by Josep Cols Canals, Chuck Greif and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - - - - - -</pre> - -<hr class="full" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="319" height="500" alt="" title="" /> -</div> - -<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> -<tr><td class="c"> -<a href="#CHAP_XIII">Chap. XIII., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XIV">XIV., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XV">XV., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XVI">XVI., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XVII">XVII., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XVIII">XVIII., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XIX">XIX., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XX">XX., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XXI">XXI., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XXII">XXII., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XXIII">XXIII., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XXIV">XXIV., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XXV">XXV., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XXVI">XXVI., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XXVII">XXVII., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XXVIII">XXVIII., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XXIX">XXIX., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XXX">XXX., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XXXI">XXXI., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XXXII">XXXII., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XXXIII">XXXIII., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XXXIV">XXXIV., </a> -<a href="#CHAP_XXXV">XXXV.</a></td></tr> -</table> - -<h1><small><small>THE</small></small><br /> - -<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_i" id="page_i"></a><small><small>{i}</small></small></span> - -<small>LIFE AND ADVENTURES</small><br /> - -<small><small>OF</small></small><br /> - -<b>GUZMAN D’ALFARACHE,</b><br /> - -<small><small>OR</small></small><br /> - -<small>THE SPANISH ROGUE.</small></h1> - -<p class="c">———<br /> -<small>TRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH EDITION OF</small><br /> - -MONS. LE SAGE.<br /> -———<br /> -BY JOHN HENRY BRADY.<br /> -———<br /> -SECOND EDITION,<br /> - -<small>CORRECTED AND CONSIDERABLY IMPROVED.</small><br /> -———<br /> -IN THREE VOLUMES.<br /> -VOL. II.<br /> -———<br /> -LONDON:<br /> - -PRINTED FOR LONGMAN, HURST, REES, ORME,<br /> -BROWN, AND GREEN, PATERNOSTER-ROW.<br /> -—<br /> -1823.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_ii" id="page_ii"></a>{ii}</span></p> -<hr /> -<p class="c">London: Printed by J. Nichols and Son,<br /> -25, Parliament-street. -</p> - -<h1><small><small><small>THE</small></small><br /> - -LIFE<br /> - -<small><small>OF</small></small><br /> - -GUZMAN D’ALFARACHE.</small></h1> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XIII" id="CHAP_XIII"></a>CHAP. XIII.<br /><br /> -<i>From the service of the Cook, Guzman returns to the Begging Trade, and robs an Apothecary.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Wisdom</span> is better than riches, since Fortune is but a fickle goddess, who -bereaves us one day of what she has bestowed on us the preceding. During -the course of our lives she makes us resemble comedians, who have every -day new parts to study, and must appear in different characters. Who -could have thought that, after having served the cook so faithfully, he -would have turned<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_002" id="page_002"></a>{2}</span> me out of doors for so trifling an offence? It is -true, that thus the world wags, and that persons of much greater -consequence than myself are constantly treated in the same manner by the -<i>great</i> upon the most trivial occasion, after having rendered them a -thousand services.</p> - -<p>Stop, Guzman, cry you, or you will lose yourself in moral reflections. -Whither will this learned discourse lead you? To my basket again, reply -I; yes, my friend, to my basket, which, having now become to me as -useful as eloquence was to Demosthenes, or stratagems to Ulysses, -consoled me under my present misfortune. Long may the basket-trade -flourish, which a man, having once tried, will never fail to resume. I -must candidly confess that when I returned to it I was much in the same -condition as when I was fool enough to leave it; for all the produce of -my former knaveries, during the time I had been scullion, had<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_003" id="page_003"></a>{3}</span> gone as -lightly as it came, and, with the exception of a finer suit of clothes, -I was no better off than before.</p> - -<p>That my returning to my old employment, however, might not be attributed -to my indolent and discontented disposition, I determined, before I -purchased a new basket, to offer my services to some cooks of my -master’s acquaintance, who knew me. If they had received me, it was my -intention to have rendered myself thoroughly knowing in kitchen affairs, -in which I had already made so good a beginning, and for which I might -boast a most happy disposition; but they had heard of my inclination for -gaming, and that nothing was safe within my reach when I wanted money: -and thus, finding there was no chance of obtaining another situation of -this description, I was compelled to resume my former occupation. I -therefore took up my basket again; and though I did not fare so well -among my comrades as at the hotel from<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_004" id="page_004"></a>{4}</span> which I had been dismissed, yet -I was once more independent, and completely master of my own actions. -Being naturally sober, this sort of life was more adapted to my -inclinations than the other, so that I had but little reason to regret -leaving a house in which I was led into a thousand intemperances.</p> - -<p>We basket-bearers had a small row of houses, or rather hovels, near the -market, which we had bought at our own expense. Here it was that we -usually regaled ourselves, and held our merry meetings. I always got up -with the sun, and was ready at every body’s call, by which means I never -failed to secure a profitable day’s work from such of the citizens as -kept no servants, who employed me to carry home the provisions they -purchased; and the faithful manner in which I performed their -commissions soon established my credit in the several markets.</p> - -<p>About this time commissions were issued<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_005" id="page_005"></a>{5}</span> to the different regiments to -raise new levies. When any thing of this nature happens, the report soon -gets abroad, the people assemble in every direction to discuss the -subject, and a council of state is held in almost every house. In ours, -as you may imagine, we canvassed the designs of the Court as freely as -the best of them, and had some politicians among us whose conjectures -were not very far from the truth. Good sense is to be found in every -condition. When we were all assembled at night each reported what he had -heard or seen during the day in the principal families in the city, and -we formed our opinions accordingly; and I can assure you, that though -some among us reasoned absurdly, yet there were others, the solidity and -good sense of whose arguments were fully justified by the occurrence of -events which they predicted. I well remember that, among others, our -fraternity could boast of a certain beggar with wooden legs, who<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_006" id="page_006"></a>{6}</span> never -left his post on a bridge where he begged the whole of the day, whose -acquaintance with state affairs would have astonished a prime minister.</p> - -<p><i>We</i> concluded then that these new levies that were making, the -destination of which was concealed, must be intended for Italy; and -this, you will see, proved to be true. The first time I heard these -troops mentioned they brought into my mind my intended journey to Genoa, -and made such an impression on my spirits that I did not sleep a wink -the whole night. I felt more anxious than ever to see my relations, from -whom I did not doubt I should obtain a brilliant fortune, every body -telling me that they were exceedingly rich, and many of them without -children; which latter, I considered, would be charmed to have an heir -of so great merit as myself. To these flattering expectations, however, -unpleasant ideas soon succeeded. “How,” thought I,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_007" id="page_007"></a>{7}</span> “can I have the -insolence to appear before these noble Genoeses in this miserable dress? -and though I tell them I am their kinsman, are they likely to credit my -assertions? I hope they may be simple enough to believe me; but I fear -they cannot fail to treat me like a rogue and an impostor, if only to -support the honour of the family. Perhaps I may not escape even so well -as this; for my father, who was thoroughly acquainted with the -dispositions of his countrymen, has often said that a Genoese is not to -be trusted in any case where his interest or reputation is concerned. -Still,” thought I, “they may be honest like my father; and I am -persuaded that they will entertain too great a respect for the memory of -their deceased relative, to refuse to assist me in my present -distressing situation. They are too prudent to venture to treat me as an -impostor before they have interrogated me as to our family affairs; and -in this respect I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_008" id="page_008"></a>{8}</span> shall be well able to answer, for I can tell them -such particulars as none but my father’s son could possibly be -acquainted with, and which, being not proper to be made public, they -will undoubtedly be obliged to do something for me that I may not -divulge them.”</p> - -<p>Thus I wavered betwixt hope and fear. Sometimes I thought that I -flattered myself too much, and at other times that I desponded without -reason. I paused at the latter reflection, which was the more -consolatory of the two, and hoping to fulfil the proverb, which says, -“he that wishes to be Pope, need only fancy himself one,” I resolved to -avail myself of the favorable opportunity which now presented itself of -getting into Italy, by joining the levies that were raising. One day, as -I was sitting at my usual post, reflecting on the pleasures I should -enjoy at Genoa, my agreeable reverie was disturbed by some one who -called me two or three times. I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_009" id="page_009"></a>{9}</span> turned round to see who it could be -that was so well acquainted with my name, and perceived that it was an -old Apothecary who had often employed me before. He beckoned me to come -to him, and I ran immediately; but two of my companions, who were nearer -to him, got before me, and proffered their services before I came up. He -however repulsed them sharply, saying, “no, no; get you gone, birds of -prey; this is not a morsel for you, but for my faithful Guzman.” He -little thought he spoke so truly. Then addressing himself to me, who had -just come up, “<i>open thy basket</i>,” added he, and he threw into it three -bags of money, which he had with him wrapped in the corner of his cloak. -“To what brazier must I carry all this copper?” quoth I with a smile. -“This copper!” answered the Apothecary, laughing outright; “here’s a -pretty rogue of a beggar, that takes silver for copper. Come, march on,” -continued he, “for I am in<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_010" id="page_010"></a>{10}</span> haste; I have engaged to pay a foreign -merchant this money to-day, who has sold me some drugs.”</p> - -<p>This might have been his intention; but I had formed another to defeat -it the instant I heard those charming words, <i>open thy basket</i>. The news -of the birth of an only son causes less joy to a tender parent than I -felt at those sweet words, which engraved themselves on my heart, if I -may so express it, in letters of gold. I looked on these three bags as a -present sent me from Heaven, to enable me to support the part I had to -perform at Genoa, and concluded them already my own. As my man had not -the slightest suspicion of me, being already well convinced, as he -conceived, of my honesty, he walked before, and I followed him, -pretending now and then that I was obliged to rest myself a little, as -if my burthen were too great, although, in truth, I could have wished it -much heavier. I never was so anxious<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_011" id="page_011"></a>{11}</span> to meet a crowd of people as on -this occasion, or even a sly turning by which I could suddenly disappear -from my unsuspecting friend the Apothecary. We chanced, however, shortly -to pass a house with which I was well acquainted, the front and back -doors of which stood most invitingly open. I could not allow this -opportunity to escape me, but entered instantly, and passed through the -house without meeting with any interruption; and in less than two -minutes had got through two or three streets as though I had wings to my -feet. I then resumed my usual pace, to avoid suspicion, being far enough -from my Apothecary, and walked on as demurely as though nothing had -happened.</p> - -<p>In this manner I soon arrived at the gate <i>de la Vega</i>, that is to say, -the open country, whence, with the same grave countenance I gained the -bank of the Mançanares; then crossing over to <i>Casa del Campo</i>, I -travelled a good league<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_012" id="page_012"></a>{12}</span> through woods and thickets, and, as night -approached, stopped among some poplars very near to the river, where I -began to consider how I should proceed. “It is not enough,” said I, “to -have begun so well, I must continue in the same manner. Of what use will -this prize be to me if I cannot take care of it now that I have got it? -If I should happen to be nabbed, I shall not only be obliged to refund, -but may lose both my ears to wit; let me, therefore, look out for some -place where I may deposit my money in safety.”</p> - -<p>After having looked about for some time I made a hole about two feet -deep at the bottom of the river, and let down my basket and bags of -money into it. Then covering them with large stones, to prevent them -from floating, I set up a stake in the sand near the spot, that I might -be sure of recollecting where my darling treasure lay concealed. After -this grand operation I went to sleep at<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_013" id="page_013"></a>{13}</span> the foot of a tree hard by, -where I passed the night, not altogether free from anxiety, though -perfectly well satisfied with the reflection that I was now so well off. -When day-light appeared, I hid myself in a thicket until it was dark -again, when hunger, which drives the wolf from the wood, obliged me to -leave my haunts to go and purchase some provisions, not at either of the -villages in the environs, where, in all probability, the Apothecary -would have sent the alguazils after me, but at Madrid itself, where I -could be best concealed. Having a little money in my pocket, independent -of my hoard, I ventured into the town, whence I returned in about three -hours with a hamper containing provisions sufficient for eight days, and -spent the greater part of the night in cramming myself with this good -cheer.</p> - -<p>When I awoke the next morning, I felt most curious to examine the -contents of the three bags. In vain did I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_014" id="page_014"></a>{14}</span> reflect that it must be the -Devil that tempted me, and that I could not satisfy my curiosity without -running the risk of being observed. I could not help yielding to this -gratification, which was certainly the sincerest I had ever felt in my -life. I advanced to the side of the river, and after having looked on -all sides to see if any body was near, I drew my basket out of the -water, and carried it, dripping with wet as it was, into my place of -retreat. Here I opened my bags, and found about two thousand five -hundred reals in them, all in silver, with the exception of thirty -pistoles in gold, which I discovered carefully wrapped up in one of the -bags. I spent the whole of this day with the sincerest pleasure in -counting my pieces over and over again; and when night came on, I put -the whole into the basket again, and secured them in their former -hiding-place.</p> - -<p>As it is not my intention, however, to pretend to entertain my reader -with a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_015" id="page_015"></a>{15}</span> journal, I need only add, that, after having concealed myself in -this manner in the wood for a full fortnight, I considered that I had no -longer any thing to fear, and that all the hounds of Justice had by this -time so completely lost scent of me as to have given over their pursuit. -I fished up my treasure again, which I deposited at the bottom of my -hamper, under some fresh provisions which I had been again to Madrid to -procure. As to my basket, I left that in the water with the stones upon -it. I then cut me two good sticks, one to carry my burthen on my back, -and the other I made into a sort of pilgrim’s staff; after which, like a -new pilgrim, I took my route towards Toledo across the fields, thinking -it more prudent to avoid the high roads.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_016" id="page_016"></a>{16}</span></p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XIV" id="CHAP_XIV"></a>CHAP. XIV.<br /><br /> -<i>Guzman in his way to Toledo meets with a young man: what passed between them.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I tripped</span> along so briskly, that after two nights trudge, I found myself -in the midst of the <i>Sagra</i>, near a wood called Açuqueyca, within about -two leagues of Toledo. I entered this wood, intending to rest there the -whole of the day, that I might not enter the City till night. I sat down -under a shady tree, and began to think in what manner I should spend my -money. I soon determined on so many fine purchases, that four times what -I possessed would have been insufficient to have procured them. It were -impossible to enumerate the variety of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_017" id="page_017"></a>{17}</span> visions and fancies that -possessed my mind. I was no longer afraid of appearing before my -relations like a beggar, but now looked forward with pleasure to my -arrival at Genoa, and all the purchases that I made in my mind, were -with a view to cut a most brilliant figure among them.</p> - -<p>A stream of clear spring water ran at my feet, with which I found myself -much refreshed, and beginning to feel hungry, I spread my provisions on -the grass for breakfast. Scarcely had I eaten a mouthful, when I heard a -noise, and turning round hastily, I was much alarmed at perceiving a man -close behind me, seated also on the grass, with his head reclining -against a tree. But when I considered him with attention I soon found -that I had nothing to fear. He appeared to be about my own age, but -seemed as raw and inexperienced as if he had not been long weaned from -his mother’s breast. Although he was well<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_018" id="page_018"></a>{18}</span> dressed and had a large -bundle lying at his side, through which I could discern some clothes and -linen, he looked so unhappy that I judged his purse could not be very -full, and set him down for some knight-errant like myself, who had been -fool enough to forsake his family to wander about the world. We stared -at each other for some moments without saying a word; but when I -observed that he looked with a longing eye on my provisions, I could not -help pitying him. His eager looks reminded me of my own feelings when I -stood before the kind-hearted Monk at the Inn; and I determined not to -be less generous than his Reverence. I, therefore, immediately invited -this young man in the most polite manner to breakfast with me. Shame -prevented him at first from accepting my offer; but when I repeated it, -he laid aside his modesty, and confessed to me that he had not tasted -any thing for the last four and twenty hours. This I found no -difficulty<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_019" id="page_019"></a>{19}</span> in believing, when I saw in what style he demolished the -meat and the bread and cheese I gave him.</p> - -<p>During the repast we inquired of each other concerning our travels. He -told me that he had come from Toledo, and was going to Madrid; and I -acquainted him that I had just come from Burgos and was on my way to -Cordova. He then related a most romantic story about the occasion of his -pilgrimage, and I was not more sincere with him: considering that he was -but a novice, he lied with a very good grace, and by no means disgraced -his countrymen, who have the reputation for wit and smart answers on -every occasion. I asked him, how he came to set out on his journey, -without providing himself with victuals. He replied, that he had not had -time to procure any, having been forced to leave the place with -precipitation, and that he was more laden with clothes than money. “So -much the worse,” said I,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_020" id="page_020"></a>{20}</span> “so much the worse; money is the most -necessary commodity for a traveller now-a-days; for even though you were -going on a pilgrimage to St. Jago in Galicia, I would not advise you to -reckon much upon charity, which has grown very cold of late; you will -find something more than your staff necessary to support you by the -way.” “I perfectly agree with you,” replied the Toledan, “and am well -aware of my imprudence in setting out without provisions; but as it -cannot now be remedied, it is useless to regret it.”</p> - -<p>“It is in your own power,” answered I, “to repair your neglect, by -disposing of a part of the clothes contained in that large bundle, which -you must find extremely burdensome. Money is more portable.” “Granted,” -said he, “and I need not inform you that it is my intention to sell at -least half of them, as soon as I can find a purchaser.” “Perhaps,” -replied I, “without going any<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_021" id="page_021"></a>{21}</span> further, you have a man before you who is -willing to relieve you of the greater part of your load, and give you as -much for them as they are worth. Shew me the contents of your bundle, -and I will select such as I am inclined to purchase.” My little -gentleman turned pale at these words; he considered me a knave who -intended to repay myself for the breakfast by robbing him of a part of -his property, or at least, that I was willing to amuse myself at his -expense; for when he surveyed my elegant attire, which was not worth -four maravedis, he could not for a moment think that I was in earnest: -every one is apt to judge in this manner, forming opinions of strangers -from the difference of dress and outward appearances. <i>Such as I see -you, such I take you to be.</i></p> - -<p>I observed his confusion; or rather, saw plainly that he suspected my -intentions; and as he made no answer, I drew out one of my bags very -deliberately,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_022" id="page_022"></a>{22}</span> untied it, and exhibited a handful of reals to his -astonished eyes: “I believe, my little hero,” said I, “that here is -enough to pay for what I wish to buy of you.” The colour was soon -restored to his cheeks at this sight; he immediately left off eating, -and ran to fetch his bundle, saying that all he had was at my service. -At the same time he was proceeding to show me his best suits, but this I -would not permit, until we had finished our meal. His hopes seemed to -serve as a fresh sauce to his appetite, and he fell to again, as though -he could not do sufficient honor to my breakfast; he could scarcely -contain the joy that he felt.</p> - -<p>That he might not form an ill opinion of me on account of my appearance, -and to prevent his suspecting that the money which he had just seen was -ill got, I addressed him to this effect:—“Whatever you may take me -for,” said I, “be assured that I am in reality as well born<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_023" id="page_023"></a>{23}</span> as -yourself. This I have thought fit to inform you, that you may learn not -always to judge of people by their looks. When I left Burgos I had as -good clothes as you, but I sold them in the first village I passed -through, to relieve myself of so inconvenient a burden, and contented -myself with these tattered garments, which would excite the pity, or at -the worst the compassion, of thieves whom a better dress would probably -have tempted. If I had not taken this precaution I should have been -robbed a hundred times ere this, and be at this moment without a single -maravedi in my pocket. As, however, it is my intention to stop at Toledo -for some time in my way to Cordova, I have now immediate occasion for a -good suit of clothes; and if you have any that will fit me, I am ready -to be a purchaser.”</p> - -<p>The Toledan, burning with impatience to commence business, with his -mouth still full, began to spread out on the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_024" id="page_024"></a>{24}</span> grass a complete suit, the -cloak of which was of most excellent cloth of a light grey colour, -together with two fine shirts and a pair of silk stockings. I tried them -all on, and they fitted me exactly. This the young man did not fail to -tell me, to make me have the better opinion of them. He seemed -apprehensive that my money would slip through his fingers, or that I -should change my mind. He need have been under no such fear, for I was -as anxious to buy as he was to sell, so that our bargain was soon -struck. He asked me a hundred reals, and I agreed to give him this -price, upon condition that he would truck his clothes-bag with me for my -hamper. This he consented to, and I put my money into it, with the two -shirts and the silk stockings. My new clothes I still wore; and I hung -up the old suit and the rest of my rags on a tree, as a trophy of my -success in beggary. The Toledan on his side filled the hamper with his -goods, and the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_025" id="page_025"></a>{25}</span> victuals that were left. During all this time, the Sun -was insensibly going down, and the hour of parting having arrived, we -embraced each other with a thousand professions of friendship: after -which we each pursued our particular route, both well satisfied with our -bargain.</p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XV" id="CHAP_XV"></a>CHAP. XV.<br /><br /> -<i>Guzman arrives at Toledo, and acts the man of fortune there. Some account of his gallantries.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">It</span> was past nine o’clock when I entered the famous city of Toledo. I -combed my hair and put myself in order, taking particular pains to rub -the dust off my shoes, that I might with the greater assurance be able -to assert that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_026" id="page_026"></a>{26}</span> I came in a coach. I requested to be directed to the -best inn, whither I repaired, requiring my supper and lodging like a -young man of fortune, who troubled himself but little about expence. As -these are the sort of customers who are sure to be well treated at inns, -I was immediately shewn into an excellent chamber with a good bed in it, -and waited upon like any prince. I supped perfectly to my satisfaction, -and slept better than I supped.</p> - -<p>The next morning after having taken my chocolate, which I called for in -order to impress them with an opinion of my quality, I desired them to -send for a hatter, a shoemaker and a sword-maker, for it was -indispensable for me to have a new hat, sword, and shoes, to correspond -with the rest of my equipage. But the most essential thing of all, was -to procure a tailor to disguise the suit I had bought as much as -possible, lest when I went abroad I might happen to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_027" id="page_027"></a>{27}</span> meet some of the -relations of the young man of whom I had purchased it, which might have -raised suspicions dangerous to me in my present situation. I might very -reasonably have supposed that they would know it again, and perhaps -accuse me of having stolen it, and assassinated the young man. Justice -would then have interfered, and this I had more reasons than one to -dread. I sent, therefore, for a tailor, who in a few hours so completely -disguised the suit, by covering the sleeves with taffeta, changing the -buttons, and putting a velvet collar on the cloak, that the devil -himself could scarcely have known it again.</p> - -<p>I paid my tailor handsomely; and well pleased that I could now venture -out without the dread of getting into difficulty on account of my dress, -I took a walk towards the evening in the <i>Zocodover</i>, where the -fashionables usually promenade. Metamorphosed as<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_028" id="page_028"></a>{28}</span> I was, I was not -altogether free from apprehension of meeting some one who might -recognize me. This fear, however, did not prevent my feeling gratified -in observing that I was particularly noticed by the prettiest women of -slender virtue, who, looking upon me as a handsome well-shaped young -fellow who had never yet been to Cythera, appeared most anxious to have -the honour of setting me in the right road; but I had resolution enough -to resist all their seducing glances.</p> - -<p>What most surprised me was the extreme neatness of all the gentlemen. My -dress, notwithstanding all the tailor’s endeavours to adjust and -beautify it, appeared so shabby in comparison with those around me, that -I resolved on having another. Just at this moment a gentleman mounted on -a beautiful mule crossed the <i>Zocodover</i>, in so handsome and stylish a -dress, that I determined to get one, exactly similar,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_029" id="page_029"></a>{29}</span> made for myself. -I could scarcely refrain from sending for my tailor that very night. I -managed, however, to wait till morning, though I never closed my eyes -the whole of the night, so completely was I amused and delighted in -considering how handsome I should look in these new trappings. But when -I reflected on the probable expence of them, I began to hesitate, -notwithstanding the eager desire I felt to appear in them.</p> - -<p>“Well, Signor Guzman,” said I to myself, “you presume then to dress -magnificently, and to supplant all the gallants at Toledo! well done, -courage, my friend. Spend your reals without reflecting on the deep game -you have played to possess yourself of them. That is not worthy of your -consideration; all you seem to wish is to get rid of your money, and you -will find it go quick enough. Let a suit be made agreeable to your -fancy, and begin<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_030" id="page_030"></a>{30}</span> courting the ladies; and you will soon come to your -basket again. Rely upon this; but do not think that you can every day -meet with apothecaries who will allow themselves to be purged like your -friend at Madrid.”</p> - -<p>All these wise reflections presented themselves, but without effect; -for, no sooner was it day-light than I sent for my tailor, to whom I -gave the order, after having given him an exact description of the dress -I had seen. He promised to make me one exactly similar, undertaking to -go himself and purchase the materials, and assuring me that I should -have it as soon as possible; for I required him to be as expeditious and -punctual, as though I were going to be married, and only waited for my -wedding clothes. He, accordingly, sent it home two days after, and I had -never seen any thing more stylish and elegant; the gold glittered all -over it. When I put it on, I was in raptures at my handsome<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_031" id="page_031"></a>{31}</span> appearance, -and the beauty of my figure, which was already perfectly well formed -though scarcely fifteen years of age. I thought that I was the very -image of my father when he was young, having a delicate white and red -complexion like him, with light-brown hair. I should never have been -tired of looking in the glass, though I felt most anxious to go abroad -again to be admired in the city. No one who was not so eminently pleased -with his own figure as I was, could have been fool enough to have -satisfied my tailor without disputing his bill, which I might most -conscientiously have reduced two thirds; but I did not then think that I -could possibly pay too much for so tasteful an equipage. Mine hostess -seeing me superbly dressed, told me I ought at least to have a lackey. I -immediately engaged one, therefore, that looked like a page, for whom I -was obliged to find<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_032" id="page_032"></a>{32}</span> new clothes, to be worthy of a master of my -importance.</p> - -<p>The first Sunday, I failed not to attend the great church, followed by -my lackey, to whom I had given proper instructions that he might do me -honour. The congregation was of the first quality in the city; I thrust -myself in the midst of them with a vast deal of assurance, and visited -all the chapels one after another, which caused many to think that I had -some design in my head; it was, however, only to shew myself off.</p> - -<p>I placed myself between the two choirs, having observed that the -principal ladies were always in this part of the church. It was here -that I displayed all the fine airs I had seen practised by other young -fools at Madrid, and which I had performed at least twenty times over in -the morning at my glass. The first thing I did, was to choose a spot -where I could be seen from head to foot. Then I thrust out<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_033" id="page_033"></a>{33}</span> my breast, -and stood firm upon one leg, while I extended the other in so stiff a -position, that it scarcely touched the ground; shewing by this means my -fine stockings, and that I wore garters of the German fashion which were -then in vogue. As this posture cramped me extremely, I was obliged to -vary it every minute, making divers grimaces at the ladies who looked at -me. I smiled upon one, looked coolly upon another, with languishing eyes -upon a third, and with sparkling eyes upon a fourth. In short, I so far -overacted my part that all the ladies and gentlemen who observed my -manœuvres began to titter at my expence. This I took no kind of -notice of, for I had too good an opinion of myself to imagine that they -could find any thing ridiculous in my behaviour.</p> - -<p>All the ladies, however, were not disposed to laugh at my extravagant -airs; there were even some among them completely charmed by my manners; -for,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_034" id="page_034"></a>{34}</span> without any offence to women in general, it may, undoubtedly, be -asserted, that there are always many of that sex for whom the most -impertinent coxcomb is as exactly a match as if he had been made on -purpose. Amongst others, I had the happiness to please two beautiful -women who could not refrain from letting me know it. The passion of the -one was created by my looks and grimaces; but as to the favourable -sentiments of the other, I could attribute them only to my stars. The -first of my two conquests was a lively looking woman, who had something -roguish in her eye, and a pleasing face. I ogled her like a novice, and -she seemed by no means displeased; for women always prefer apprentices -in this art to their masters. She returned my tender glances, which -encouraged me to follow her after Mass, that I might know where she -lived. She walked very slowly, to shew me that it would not be her fault -if I let her escape, and I soon came up with her,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_035" id="page_035"></a>{35}</span> and now and then as I -walked behind her whispered some soft things to her as well as I was -able at my age. She made no reply, yet now and then turned her head -round, looking at me in such a manner as persuaded me that she dared not -speak for fear of the Duenna by whom she was accompanied.</p> - -<p>We at length came to a narrow street near St. Cyprian’s Church where she -lived. In entering her house, she bowed her head to me to let me see -that she was not displeased at my having followed her, and did not -forget to dart an amorous look at me, which filled me with love and -hope. I took particular notice of her house, intending to return without -fail that very day to shew myself before her windows. I then took the -way towards my Inn again with hasty steps.</p> - -<p>I no sooner got into another street, than a sort of waiting-woman with a -long thick veil thrown over her, accosted me as I passed along: “Signor -Cavalier,”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_036" id="page_036"></a>{36}</span> said she, “I beseech you to follow me; I wish to communicate -something of consequence to you.” I did not hesitate a moment, but -followed her until we both stopped under a large open gateway, when, -seeing that nobody could hear us, she addressed me thus: “Charming -stranger, your appearance is so handsome and prepossessing, that you -will not be surprised when I tell you that a lady of quality who has -seen you at church, is quite enchanted and captivated by your elegant -person, and wishes to have a private conversation with you. This lady is -newly married, and so beautiful that ... but,” added she, breaking off -suddenly, “I will say no more; I must let you form your own opinion when -you see her.”</p> - -<p>I swallowed this bait most greedily, and could scarcely restrain the -pleasure that I felt. Affecting, however, to appear modest, I answered, -that I knew not in what terms to acknowledge the honour that her -mistress had conferred on me;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_037" id="page_037"></a>{37}</span> that I did not doubt she was a person of -the first quality, and that, therefore, I was most anxious to wait upon -her, and throw myself at her feet to thank her for her good opinion of -me. “Signor,” said the Confidante, “it will be dangerous to think of -seeing her at her own house, for she has a jealous husband: but tell me -where you lodge, and I will engage that to-morrow morning at farthest, -you shall have an interview with her in your own apartments.” I gave her -my address, and she immediately departed to rejoin her Mistress, who, -she said, was waiting impatiently to know whether she had reason to -thank Dame Fortune, or to reproach her.</p> - -<p>I now found myself engaged in two love-intrigues; but I felt most -inclined towards the first; not that I was displeased with the second, -for it was most flattering to my vanity. “What an advantage it is,” -thought I, “to be handsome! no sooner have I made my appearance<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_038" id="page_038"></a>{38}</span> at -Toledo, than two ladies, apparently of the first quality, are already in -love with me. What must be the consequence, then, if I stay here long? I -shall undoubtedly captivate all the women in the City.” I returned to my -Inn full of these pleasing thoughts, which, however, did not prevent my -eating a very hearty dinner; after which I sallied out again as soon as -I was able without being incommoded by the heat of the sun, and flew -towards St. Cyprian, where I paced up and down before the windows of the -house into which my first mistress had entered. Not so much as the -shadow of a woman, however, was to be seen; notwithstanding which I -loitered about until it was quite evening, and my perseverance was at -length rewarded. I saw one of the lower windows half opened, which I -approached, and in a nymph, who presented herself to my eyes in an -undress, I recognized my Princess, who told me, with considerable -agitation, that her<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_039" id="page_039"></a>{39}</span> neighbours, who were a tattling set, would suspect -something, and besought me to remain no longer in the street, but to -retire for some time, and return in about two hours; that there would be -nobody in the house but herself and servants, and that if I pleased, we -might then sup together. I was overjoyed at this invitation, which I -accepted by kissing one of her hands with an air of tenderness, and at -the same time requested that I might be permitted to contribute my dish -towards the supper. “That is by no means necessary,” answered the lady; -“but as what I have in the house may, possibly, not be to your liking, -you can do as you please in that respect.”</p> - -<p>As soon as we had settled these preliminaries, I departed for fear of -attracting the attention of the neighbours, and thereby destroying the -happiness in store for me, and rejoined my page, whom I had ordered to -wait for me at the top of the street, and gave him some money,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_040" id="page_040"></a>{40}</span> desiring -him to procure me a fine pullet nicely dressed, two partridges, a -rabbit-pie, four bottles of excellent wine, and some of the choicest -fruits. All this was ready, and sent at nine o’clock precisely, and I -soon followed, was received by my nymph in the kindest manner, and -conducted by her into a neat chamber where she usually slept, with a -handsome bed in it, and I could not help observing under a sort of -pavilion made with rose-coloured taffeta, a large tub, in which I -supposed the Signora occasionally bathed herself. The table was spread -here, and the sideboard decorated with my bottles and fruits. I was well -pleased at the sight of these preparations, which seemed to promise me -an agreeable evening, and could only have wished that my lovely hostess -had been in better spirits; for, in spite of her endeavours to affect -gaiety, I plainly perceived that she was uneasy from some cause unknown -to me.</p> - -<p>“My charmer,” said I, “allow me to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_041" id="page_041"></a>{41}</span> ask the cause of that sadness which -is so evidently depicted on your countenance, and which it is in vain -for you to endeavour to conceal.” “Fair stranger,” answered she, -sighing, “since I have not been able to conceal my mortification from -you, I confess that I am much vexed at some unseasonable news I have -just received. My brother, on whom I am entirely dependent, who has been -to Court to solicit preferment, has just returned to Toledo; I would -have given you notice of this before, had I known where to send to you; -nevertheless,” added she, “as he is now gone to sup with a lady of whom -he is enamoured, I do not expect him home before midnight. We may at -least have the satisfaction of supping, and conversing together; and I -have the consolation to add that he will return to Madrid in a day or -two, to stay there three months. I should otherwise be inconsolable at -his arrival; for he is a man of the most violent temper, and most<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_042" id="page_042"></a>{42}</span> -punctilious in affairs of honour. You cannot conceive what a prisoner I -am when he is at home; but, thank God, we shall soon be free from him -for some time to come.” This discourse of hers somewhat moderated my -joy; the unforeseen return of a brother, and one of his disposition, -appeared no laughing matter to me. I felt very far from comfortable, -and, to speak truth, was sorry that I had not had notice of it before. -For although I was not one of the greatest cowards, yet I had much -rather have been obliged to fight in a street than in a house, where I -must of necessity defend myself, or lose my ears. As, however, the evil -was now without remedy, I considered myself called upon to shew my -courage and resolution. I entreated the lady, therefore, to have the -supper served up at all events, adding with an air of intrepidity, that -if her brother came in and interrupted us, he might choose what -proceeding he pleased, but whichever he<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_043" id="page_043"></a>{43}</span> adopted towards me, he should -find that he had to do with one who would be at least his match. The -supper was then brought in, and we sat down together; but at that -instant we heard a loud knock at the door. “O Heavens!” cried she, -rising from her seat as though she was ruined; “that must be my -brother,—what will become of me?”</p> - -<p>You will perhaps imagine, that to support the bravery of which I had -just boasted, I prepared courageously to receive the disturber of our -pleasures as I had resolved; but, on the contrary, I was so surprised -and terrified at his return, that I thought of nothing but preserving -myself from his fury, and was going to creep under the bed; but the -sister, considering that I should be safer in the <i>tub</i>, thrust me into -it, and covered me with a carpet. Unfortunately for my laced coat this -tub was wet and dirty, independently of which I was much cramped, and -very far from being at my ease in it.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_044" id="page_044"></a>{44}</span></p> - -<p>In the mean time the door was opened to this cursed brother, who had no -sooner entered the chamber, than, astonished, or pretending to be so, at -finding the table and sideboard so well set out, he remained for some -moments without speaking a word; but at length breaking silence; “What -means all this preparation, sister?” said he, in an imperative tone; -“have either of us been married to day, or for whom is this -entertainment meant?” “For you only, whom I have been anxiously -expecting,” replied the trembling nymph. “It is something new,” -continued he, “to treat me with this ceremony. You cannot pretend that -it was to celebrate my return from Madrid, for I sent you word that I -should sup in the city.” “True,” replied the lady, “but you well know, -that you have often come and surprised me after having told me the same -thing; and, if you recollect, you have sometimes been angry that I have -not prepared a supper for you.” “I am<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_045" id="page_045"></a>{45}</span> by no means satisfied,” replied -the brother, “and I fear much that our neighbours’ slanders are but too -well founded. For a lady of quality you are not sufficiently circumspect -in your behaviour. You are well aware of my delicacy on that point, -therefore be cautious of taking any steps which may wound my feelings; -but,” added he, “let us sit down to supper. I am willing for this -evening to put the best interpretation on your intentions.”</p> - -<p>At these words he seated himself at the table, and they both fell to -upon my unfortunate supper. As for him, he kept grumbling all the while -he was stuffing at my expence, and his sister could not utter a single -word but what put him into a passion. He cursed and swore, and whenever -she ventured to contradict him in any thing, he seemed almost mad with -rage, called her every vile name he could think of, and seemed ready to -knock her down. Two or three times in the course<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_046" id="page_046"></a>{46}</span> of their repast, I -ventured to lift up a corner of the carpet with which I was covered to -take a peep at this terrible fellow; but I was so afraid that he would -see me that I dared not take a full view of him.</p> - -<p>Time appeared less tedious to him at table than to me in the tub, and I -could not possibly conceive how so passionate a fellow could remain so -long patient even in eating. He amused himself in this manner, however, -for about an hour; and that hour appeared an age to me. He drank at -least as heartily as he ate, and emptied three of my bottles in the -course of his meal; and when the table was cleared, he called for pipes -and tobacco, to make an end, as he said, of the fourth. Upon this the -lady, wishing to make me believe that she desired to get rid of this -intruder, entreated him to go and smoke in his own chamber, and to leave -her at liberty to undress herself and go to bed; but he answered rudely, -that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_047" id="page_047"></a>{47}</span> she might retire whither she pleased, but that for his own part he -felt very comfortable where he was, and intended to pass the night -there.</p> - -<p>Hearing this last resolution, I now completely gave myself up for lost; -for I had flattered myself that the least this abominable intruder could -do, after having stuffed himself in this style, was to leave the chamber -as he was requested; and that I should remain alone with his sister, to -pick the bones he was kind enough to leave. I even hoped that the latter -part of the night might prove more agreeable to me than the -commencement, but I did not long remain under this flattering delusion. -The lady, as though she partook of my uneasiness, endeavoured to prevail -on her brother to change his mind, but not being able to succeed either -by tears or entreaties, she left the room with all the appearance of -being much distressed on my account. No sooner had she gone, than her -brother<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_048" id="page_048"></a>{48}</span> began to behave himself as if he were drunk or mad; sometimes -he would sit very quietly for a few minutes, then jump up and walk and -dance about the room with his pipe in his mouth; sometimes he would -snatch up his sword, and fence against the hangings; whistling, singing, -and talking to himself all this while, and swearing like a Jew, -threatening to exterminate any man who should dare even so much as look -at him.</p> - -<p>After having passed above half the night in these extravagances, he at -last threw himself at full length on the bed without undressing, placing -his sword and pistols within his reach, by way of precaution. “God be -praised,” said I to myself, “it will not be necessary, now that he is on -the bed, to rock him to sleep; he will soon begin snoring to his heart’s -content.” I was, however, once more out in my reckoning; his wine had -not the same effect upon him that it has upon others, for, instead of -falling asleep,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_049" id="page_049"></a>{49}</span> he did nothing but doze at intervals for the space of -about two hours, starting up every moment, and crying out, who’s there? -as if he heard some noise in the chamber. The only noise that I made, -however, in my tub, was in lifting up a corner of the tapestry, to hear -whether he slept or not, which, in my impatience to quit this cursed -house, I certainly did pretty frequently. Heaven at last took pity on -me. This boisterous hero, at about day-break, fell a snoring most -lustily; and I then slipped from under my tub as quietly as possible, -determined to run all risks rather than remain any longer, and reached -the chamber door on tiptoe, with my shoes in my hand. I raised the latch -very gently, and made haste towards the street-door, and being so -fortunate as to find the key hanging up by it, I opened the door, and -ran all the way home to our inn.</p> - -<p>Here I found that nobody was yet stirring, not even my page, who -thinking<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_050" id="page_050"></a>{50}</span> that I should of course pass the night in the arms of love, -had gone to bed very coolly, without giving himself any concern about -me. As I was not willing to disturb any body, I walked into a -pastry-cook’s shop in the neighbourhood, that was just opening, and -telling the master that I was dying with hunger, requested he would -provide me with something to eat. He answered that he had now in his -oven some little pasties, fit to be presented to the Archbishop of -Toledo, which would soon be sufficiently baked. I determined not to lose -this treat, and while I waited until the pasties were drawn from the -oven, I had an opportunity of reflecting on my late cruel adventure, and -the more I considered it, the more lucky did I esteem myself in having -got off so cheaply.</p> - -<p>The pastry cook had not, in my opinion, boasted of his pasties without -reason, for I either found them excellent, or else my appetite gave them -an exquisite<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_051" id="page_051"></a>{51}</span> taste, which they probably had not. When I left this shop -it was quite day; I entered our inn and hastened to my chamber, where I -lay down on my bed, and at last fell into a sound sleep, after having -tumbled about for two hours without being able to get my late adventure -with the brother and sister, and the characters which they had so well -supported, out of my head.</p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XVI" id="CHAP_XVI"></a>CHAP. XVI.<br /><br /> -<i>Guzman’s amours continued, and in what manner they ended.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I could</span> well have slept until very late in the morning; but as two -ladies had inquired for me below, one of whom was so richly dressed that -my lackey was quite dazzled by her magnificent<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_052" id="page_052"></a>{52}</span> appearance, he came up -to my chamber and awoke me to announce this visit. I presently guessed -this must be the waiting-woman whom I had conversed with the day before, -who had kept her promise, by prevailing on her mistress to accompany her -to call upon me. I had no sooner desired my lackey to shew them in, than -a lady of handsome mien and figure entered the room, who by her elegant -deportment and easy manners, could not in my judgment be less than a -Marchioness or Countess. She seated herself in a chair at my bed side. I -sat up in my bed and bowed to her as respectfully as my situation would -admit of, begging her to excuse me for receiving her in this manner, and -adding that I had much rather offend in that respect, than allow a lady -of her quality and merit to wait a moment at the door. “No more -apologies,” said she, “but let us come to the point and content my -curiosity: How long have you been<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_053" id="page_053"></a>{53}</span> in Toledo? what has brought you -hither? shall you make a long stay in this place?”</p> - -<p>These questions, unexpected as they were, were by no means embarrassing -to me, for I had a most fruitful invention on such occasions; I, -therefore, made up so fine a story of my birth and prospects in life, -that I completely succeeded in convincing her of my high quality. One -truth, however, escaped me in the course of conversation, which spoiled -all the effect of my lies; instead of saying that I intended to stay at -least three or four months at Toledo, I told her that I had merely -visited it for a few days’ diversion. I instantly perceived that this -was not exactly agreeable to her hopes. She had evidently formed some -design upon me, which these words disconcerted; and looking upon me, in -consequence, as a mere bird of passage, whom she should soon lose sight -of for<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_054" id="page_054"></a>{54}</span> ever, she resolved to pluck me as well as she was able before we -parted.</p> - -<p>To accomplish her object, therefore, the first thing she did was to -throw off her veil, in an easy and graceful manner, discovering a face -of perfect beauty, and taking great pains to display her delicate white -hands and a part of her neck. She then, with a negligent air, drew from -her pocket a fine coral rosary, to which were attached several relics, -gold crosses and precious stones, and without appearing to have any -design in it, kept playing with this rosary all the while she was -talking as though she were not aware of what she was doing, but all of a -sudden she left off speaking in the middle of a sentence, looked at me -with surprise, and began feeling her pockets with anxiety which seemed -to increase every moment. I inquired the cause of her uneasiness, but -instead of answering me she began to look on the floor, and every where -that she could think of; then calling<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_055" id="page_055"></a>{55}</span> her servant who was in waiting at -the chamber door: “Marcia,” said she, “I have lost the great cross -belonging to the chaplet which my husband gave me; how unfortunate I am! -he will certainly think I have made a present of it to some one.” -“Madam,” replied the waiting-woman, “you are perhaps premature in your -sorrow. You may possibly have left it at home, and I even fancy that I -recollect to have seen it in one of your drawers.” “I can never rest -until I be convinced of this,” replied the lady. “Let us therefore -return home immediately, for I cannot bear to remain in doubt on such a -subject.”</p> - -<p>All my efforts to detain her were unavailing. I represented to her that -there might be found many similar rosaries at a Goldsmith’s, and that, -if she would allow me, I would presume to send her one as soon as -possible; but she would not accept of my offer, requesting<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_056" id="page_056"></a>{56}</span> me, in an -engaging manner, to allow her to depart; assuring me, that whether she -found her cross at home or not, she would not fail to pay me a visit the -next day at the same hour. Upon this she quitted my chamber, leaving me -well pleased with her figure, and much grieved at her so precipitate -departure.</p> - -<p>It was no longer possible to think of sleeping after such an interview, -so that I lay and reflected on my good fortune, and the pleasures that I -anticipated, until it was time for dinner. I then rose and dressed -myself, after which I sat down to a small table, and partook of a -variety of dishes sufficient for six persons. In the middle of my -repast, Marcia returned, and informed me with a mournful countenance -that the golden cross could not be found; “and what is still more -vexatious,” added she, “my mistress accuses me of being the cause of -this misfortune, and I must allow that I was rather too pressing this -morning<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_057" id="page_057"></a>{57}</span> to make her dress herself quickly to come and see you. I have -been to a Goldsmith’s out of curiosity, to see if I could not find a -cross of the same description, and have been fortunate enough to meet -with one that resembles it as nearly as possible.” I soon understood her -meaning, and wishing to be thought generous, I answered, that if she -would wait until I had dined, I would accompany her to the Goldsmith’s, -and purchase the cross which she had seen. As this was, in fact, the -sole object of her coming, she replied, that she would do just as I -pleased; then beginning to praise her mistress, she told me all that was -charming of her.</p> - -<p>After dinner we repaired to the Goldsmith’s together, and purchased the -aforesaid cross, which I gave to Marcia, requesting her to tell her -mistress, that as I considered myself in some degree the cause of her -loss, it was my duty to repair it. This faithful servant, overjoyed<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_058" id="page_058"></a>{58}</span> at -her good success, immediately departed, after having assured me that she -would make her lady acquainted with my generous way of proceeding, and -that she was sure her mistress would not fail to see me next day, -personally to return thanks for my kindness.</p> - -<p>As soon as Marcia had left me, I determined to avail myself of this -opportunity to see my lady in St. Cyprian-street again; for although I -had such good reason to believe that she was a cheat and her brother a -bully, yet I should have been glad to have found myself mistaken; -forgetting, therefore, the scurvy trick they had played me, I hastened -towards their house, and perceived my charmer at a window, whence I was -soon remarked. She made signs to me that she had company, but that I was -not to go away; I stopped, and about a quarter of an hour after, saw her -go out alone. I followed her at a distance, and observed her enter the -great church to shorten her way to Patten street,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_059" id="page_059"></a>{59}</span> whence she went into -Mercer’s-street, and entered a shop, making signs to me to follow her, -which I obeyed. How admirably did she then play her part! She burst into -tears, which, I suppose, she had always ready at command, and -complaining to Heaven that she had so troublesome a brother, she assured -me of the extreme pain she had suffered on my account, swearing over and -over again that it had not been her fault that so untoward an adventure -had occurred to me: she then told me, that she hoped to recompense me -for my late unpleasant night by assuring me of a pleasant one; that her -brother was to set out immediately for the country, where he would -remain for at least two days, and she trusted, therefore, that I would -not refuse her invitation to spend that evening with her. She then spoke -to me with so much tenderness, that I was completely convinced of her -sincerity, and was weak enough to promise to see her at her own house -again as soon as it was dusk.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_060" id="page_060"></a>{60}</span></p> - -<p>As she had entered this shop, she could not make up her mind to leave -it, without asking the prices and cheapening some trifles, as is -customary with women; and she agreed to purchase some of them for a -hundred and fifty reals; but instead of paying for them, she said to the -shopkeeper, “you will be kind enough to allow me to take these articles -with me now, and give me credit until to-morrow, when I will send my -waiting-woman to pay you.” The shopkeeper, who either did not know her -at all, or possibly was but too well acquainted with her, refused to -trust her; upon which Signor Guzman, always ready to please the ladies, -stepped forward and said to him, “my good friend, do you not perceive -that the lady is only in jest; she has not this sum at hand, but I carry -her purse, and have the honour to be her steward:” thus saying, I drew -it from my pocket in the most graceful manner, and paid the shopkeeper -his demand. After this we parted.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_061" id="page_061"></a>{61}</span> “Adieu, my chicken,” said she, in a -languishing and tender manner; “remember that I shall expect to see you -at nine in the evening, but I absolutely forbid you to provide any -supper, for I must insist on being allowed to treat you this time.”</p> - -<p>The hour of rendezvous, which I expected with the greatest impatience, -having at length arrived, I set out towards my charmer’s house, at the -risk of passing another night there in the tub. I now approached her -door again with as much eagerness as I had ran from it in the morning. I -made the signal we had agreed upon; but no answer. I repeated it; but -neither saw nor heard any one. I then began to fancy that the brother -had been informed of his sister’s design, and had not set off for the -country. Thinking it possible, however, that I had not given the signal -loud enough, which was to knock with a stone at the bottom of the lower -window, I redoubled my strokes; but I might as well have attempted<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_062" id="page_062"></a>{62}</span> to -make the bridge of Alcantara hear me. I then knocked several times at -the door, and put my ear to the key-hole to listen; but finding that -there was not the least noise to be heard in the house, I remained in -the street until midnight, quite at a loss to account for so -extraordinary a silence.</p> - -<p>My patience, however, began at length to fail me, and I was just on the -point of returning, when I observed a company of armed men coming -towards me; and took the precaution to retire to the end of the street, -that I might notice them unobserved. They stopped at the door of my -nymph’s house, and rapped loudly; and as the people in the house -persisted in not answering them, they began to thunder at the door with -their staves, and would soon have shivered it to atoms, if a servant had -not appeared at one of the windows, and asked what was their business. -“Open,” cried an Alguazil, “open, at the summons of Justice.” At<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_063" id="page_063"></a>{63}</span> these -terrible words, I felt so alarmed, that I was tempted to scamper off as -fast as my legs would carry me, not knowing but it was for me they -looked; a culprit cannot behold these sort of people without emotion. My -courage returned, however, when I reflected that I could only be -considered the dupe of my princess and her pretended brother, whose -laudable conduct, had, according to all appearance, attracted the -attention of justice.</p> - -<p>I even ventured to approach the house, as soon as the Alguazil and his -myrmidons had entered it; and joining the crowd of neighbours who had -collected in the street to see what was going on, I heard one among them -say to the rest, “They call themselves brother and sister; but they must -trace their pedigree from Adam, for they are no otherwise related. The -man is an adventurer of Cordova, who for some months past, has lived -here at Toledo with this woman who was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_064" id="page_064"></a>{64}</span> formerly an actress at Seville, -at the expence of such young fools as fell into their hands; but -unfortunately for these two honest folks, they have been practising -their knaveries upon a scrivener, who has played them this trick to be -avenged on them.</p> - -<p>At this relation, all the neighbours laughed heartily at the expence of -the scrivener, whom they knew to be but newly married: but, although -they were so glad to find that this limb of the law had been duped, they -did not the less applaud his vengeance on that account, so true is it -that nobody ever pities persons who are detected in dishonesty. It -seemed even a most agreeable comedy for the witnesses of this adventure, -when they saw the Alguazil and his officers leading to prison the lady -all in disorder, accompanied by her gallant well bound with cords. For -my own part, though I could not well forget her scurvy treatment of me -in the tub, yet I could not<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_065" id="page_065"></a>{65}</span> feel any pleasure in seeing this miserable -woman in her present deplorable situation: I was the only one of all the -spectators who felt any pity for her, though I had most reason to feel -none. Rejoiced, however, that I could no longer be her dupe, I returned -to my inn, fool enough still to flatter myself that the other lady would -not deceive me; but I waited, in vain, the whole of the next day at home -for her: I did not even see her servant again: so that being no longer -able to doubt that I was also gulled in that quarter, I resolved that in -future I would be more upon my guard against the fair sex.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_066" id="page_066"></a>{66}</span></p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XVII" id="CHAP_XVII"></a>CHAP. XVII.<br /><br /> -<i>Guzman takes a false alarm, and leaves Toledo precipitately. Another gallantry. Origin of the proverb, “at Malagon, a thief in every house, but in that of the Alcaid two, the father and the son.”</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Thus</span> ended my gallantries at Toledo; and to complete my misfortunes, -when I arrived at my inn, I met an Alguazil there, who, I was informed, -had just arrived from Madrid, and had been making very particular -inquiries of the landlord for a certain <i>quidam</i>, of whom he was in -search. I did not hear this without uneasiness; nevertheless, alarmed as -I was, I managed to put a bold face on the matter; but I was so agitated -the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_067" id="page_067"></a>{67}</span> whole of the night that I could not get a wink of sleep. I rose -early the next morning, still thinking of this cursed Alguazil, and went -out to walk in the Zocodover. I had not gone once round the square, -before I heard a man crying, <i>Two mules returning to Almagro</i>.</p> - -<p>I determined to avail myself of this opportunity, and resolved in a -moment to hire these two mules, as though I had foreseen that I should -find a company of soldiers at Almagro on the point of departure for -Italy. I spoke to the crier, and we soon agreed; after which I sent my -lackey to pay my landlord, and to fetch my baggage, which consisted of a -portmanteau, in which was my fashionable dress, some fine linen, and -what remained of my money. As soon as he rejoined me, I gave him one of -the mules, mounted myself on the other, and rejoiced at having found so -favourable an opportunity of leaving Toledo, where I could no longer -remain in peace, I took<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_068" id="page_068"></a>{68}</span> the route towards Orgas, where I slept that -night.</p> - -<p>At the inn where we stopped there chanced to be a very pretty -servant-maid, who, from her wit and obliging manners, seemed so superior -to her condition that I commenced a conversation with her, in the course -of which I could not refrain from plainly expressing the amorous desires -I felt towards her. So far from being startled at this declaration, she -anticipated my wishes, and went so far as to promise that she would -steal into my chamber in the night. “But, my darling,” said I, “can I be -sure that you will not deceive me? Can I rely upon this promise?” -“Certainly,” answered she; “you are too handsome a young gentleman for -me to wish to impose on; rely on it, I will keep my word.”</p> - -<p>I slept that night in a chamber in which there were some oats kept, the -door of which I took care to leave open, that my damsel might come in at -what hour she<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_069" id="page_069"></a>{69}</span> pleased. I fell asleep while I lay waiting for her, -though it is not very usual to think of sleeping on such occasions; but -the uneasiness caused by the Alguazil the preceding night not having -permitted me to take any repose, I felt more inclined to rest than to -make love. I was soon awoke, however, by hearing a slight noise in the -room, which I did not doubt was my fair one; and anxious to receive her -with the attention that her punctual observance of her promise seemed to -deserve, “Approach, my charmer,” said I, in a low voice, “I have been -waiting impatiently for you.” No one answered. I thought the jade -behaved thus to provoke my desires the more, and with this conviction I -leant half my body out of bed, and stretched out my arms to seize her; -and my hands lighted on something exceedingly soft, but of such a -softness as revolted against my ideas. In fact, it was the ear of an -ass, who had left his stable and entered my chamber, attracted<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_070" id="page_070"></a>{70}</span> by the -smell of the oats that were kept there. This animal, whose head was -almost as low as the floor when I touched him, raised it on a sudden, as -a punishment for my sins, and gave me so violent a blow on the chin, -that it loosened all my teeth, and filled my mouth with blood. I rose -from my bed swearing, and with the intention of running my sword through -this accursed beast, who, fortunately, however, for him, was frightened -at the noise I made, and took to his heels. I was content, therefore, to -lie down again, with curses against love, and renewing the oath I had -already made, to be more cautious of its snares.</p> - -<p>A few moments before day-light I was just beginning to doze again, when -the muleteer entered my chamber to give me notice that breakfast was -ready, and that if I wished to reach Malagon at any reasonable hour that -day, I had no time to lose. I was soon up and dressed; and after having -eaten a good breakfast of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_071" id="page_071"></a>{71}</span> what the host chose to provide for me, I was -just going to mount my mule, when she directed a violent kick at me, -which would certainly have crippled me for the remainder of my days had -I been at a greater distance; but I was luckily so close to the plaguy -beast that she could not do me much harm. “The devil take all females!” -cried I; “I was born to be ill-treated by them.” To divert the -companions of my journey, and to amuse myself, I related to them on the -road the particulars of my late adventure with the ass. This recital -seemed particularly diverting and interesting to the muleteer, who told -us, after having laughed his bellyful, that Luzia, which was the -servant’s name, had been more faithful to him: that she had passed the -greater part of the night with him, and he gave me this piece of -information for my guidance in future: that the servants in inns were -always considered the right of the muleteers, as a recompence for the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_072" id="page_072"></a>{72}</span> -service they do the landlord in bringing travellers to his house.</p> - -<p>We arrived at Malagon at night, whence I set out again the next day, -without any other scurvy trick of fortune except having lost one bottle -of wine, which I missed when we had got about three or four leagues from -the town. “As I live,” quoth I, “this theft brings to my recollection, -and verifies the old proverb which declares, that <i>in Malagon there is a -thief in every house, but in that of the Alcaid two, the father and the -son</i>. Upon this the muleteer asked me if I knew the origin of this -proverb. I answered that I did not, and that I should be glad to hear -it. If I may believe an old man from whom I had it, replied he, this is -the story.</p> - -<p>“In the year 1236, when Don Fernando, surnamed the Holy, King of Castile -and Leon, was one day at Beneventum, news was brought him that the -Christian troops had entered Cordova,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_073" id="page_073"></a>{73}</span> having already possessed -themselves of the suburbs called Axarquia; but that the Moors, to whom -the place belonged, and who were very superior in numbers, were -preparing to repulse them. This monarch, animated by his zeal for his -religion, resolved to fly to the relief of the Christians, and sent -notice of his design to Don Alvaro Perez de Castro, and Don Ordonis -Alvaroz, who were both at Marts. These two lords, who were at that time -the most illustrious cavaliers in Castile, instantly repaired to the -King, who immediately set out as he had determined. As he was only -accompanied by about a hundred men, he issued orders to all his warriors -and vassals, who might be dispersed in the different towns and villages -under his dominion, to follow him to Cordova. These orders would have -been executed willingly, and without delay, had it been practicable; but -it was then just in the middle of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_074" id="page_074"></a>{74}</span> month of January, and the heavy -snow and rains had fallen in such abundance as to cause all the rivers -and springs to overflow: so that the troops were not able to advance, -but were obliged to halt at every place they came to.</p> - -<p>“So great a number of them were under the necessity of stopping at -Malagon, that one soldier was obliged to be quartered in every house, -and two in those of the more opulent citizens. The commander of these -troops, and his son, who was also an officer, chanced to fall to the lot -of the Alcaid. Though this was a very considerable town, yet there were -now so many people in it, and the times were so hard, that provisions -became extremely scarce and dear, and as the soldiers were not able to -procure them at such excessive rates, they began to steal, to prevent -their dying with hunger. While these things were going on, a merry -conceited peasant who had just passed through the town in his way to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_075" id="page_075"></a>{75}</span> -Toledo, met a troop of cavaliers on the road near Orgas, who asked him -whence he came. “From Malagon,” replied he; “and what news from thence?” -inquired one of the cavaliers. The peasant made this answer, which has -since become a proverb, “at Malagon there is a thief in every house, and -in that of the Alcaid two, the father and the son.”</p> - -<p>“It is most unfair,” continued the muleteer, “that this proverb should -be applied to the inhabitants of Malagon, since they were the persons -robbed, and not those that robbed others. On the contrary, I will -maintain to their credit, that from Madrid to Seville there is no inn -where travellers are better treated and less imposed on than at Malagon. -I do not pretend to say that there are not knaves in that place, as well -as elsewhere; but I assure you there are many worse in this country.”</p> - -<p>Just as the muleteer ended his discourse, another muleteer of his -acquaintance<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_076" id="page_076"></a>{76}</span> came up to us, of whom I asked what was going on at -Almagro, whence he had just come, and he informed me that there was a -company of soldiers there, newly raised, and destined, he believed, for -Italy. I was enraptured at this news, and felt disposed to forgive -fortune, now that she presented me with so favourable an opportunity of -gratifying my violent desire to go to Genoa, for all the hardships that -she had hitherto made me endure.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_077" id="page_077"></a>{77}</span></p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XVIII" id="CHAP_XVIII"></a>CHAP. XVIII.<br /><br /> -<i>Guzman offers himself to serve in the Company newly raised. His reception by the Captain, and how they afterwards lived together.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">All</span> my fear was, that the muleteer had been misinformed; but on entering -Almagro, I was soon convinced that he had told the truth. I perceived a -flag suspended from a window of one of the houses where I supposed the -Captain had taken up his residence.</p> - -<p>I proceeded, therefore, to an inn in the neighbourhood, where I took up -my lodging for that night; and in the morning I dressed myself in my -best suit of clothes, and finest linen, and went to church, where I -heard mass,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_078" id="page_078"></a>{78}</span> and from thence to wait upon the Captain, whom I saluted -with an air calculated to make him believe me a young man of quality, -telling him that I had come express to Almagro to have the honour of -serving the King by joining his company. My behaviour and appearance had -the desired effect of casting a mist before the eyes of this officer, -who was an extremely well-bred man. He received me, therefore, in the -most polite manner, testifying his joy at finding me disposed to enter -so early in the career of glory. He then thanked me for the preference I -gave his company, which would be proud to receive among them a cavalier -of noble race, which he could easily perceive I was. “All I regret,” -added he, “is, that all the posts are filled up; but, though I cannot, -therefore, offer you a commission, you shall at least share mine with -me, and we will live together as though you were Captain as well as -myself.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_079" id="page_079"></a>{79}</span></p> - -<p>To convince me that these excessive civilities were not mere -compliments, he insisted on my staying to dinner, and regaled me in good -style. He did not, however, forget to charge one of his servants, in -private, to inquire of mine who I was. My page, who had frequently heard -me style myself Don Juan de Guzman of the house of Toral, answered this -question by saying that this was the name I bore, and that was all he -knew of me. This was reported to the Captain, who most firmly believed -that I was certainly one of the younger branches of that illustrious -house. The next day I invited him, in my turn, to dine with me at my -inn, and spared no expense to render the entertainment as complete as if -I had been in reality the cavalier my valet had represented me to be. I -did not stop here, but gave so many other dinners to the Captain and the -principal officers of the company, that it is no wonder they all -esteemed me, and considered<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_080" id="page_080"></a>{80}</span> me an honour to their corps. The Captain, -in particular, was so extremely attentive to me, that I was frequently -quite confused at his kind professions of regard. It is true, that to -secure a continuance of his friendship, I sent him, almost every day, -some little present by my page, which he was so kind as to accept of as -a mark of my affection.</p> - -<p>In the mean time my purse, having no flux and reflux like the sea, began -to empty itself visibly, without any prospect of being filled again. -What with my clothes, my gallantries, and my travelling expenses, in -addition to these entertainments and presents, I had already squandered -away more than half of my reals, without reckoning what I had lost at -play with the officers, the majority of whom knew better than myself how -to take advantage in gaming of every turn of fortune in their favour. I -had still, however, a sufficient sum remaining to support my assumed -character for some<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_081" id="page_081"></a>{81}</span> time longer, when orders were given for marching, -and I followed the company, in quality of a volunteer, to the coast, -where we had orders to wait until the galleys which were to transport us -into Italy, with other troops, arrived at Barcelona, where we were to -embark. But it was God’s pleasure that this embarkment should not take -place till three months afterwards. This completed my ruin; for being -willing to continue to live with the Captain and other officers as I had -begun, I was soon compelled to make use of my <i>corps de reserve</i>; I mean -my thirty pistoles, which were yet untouched, and which I soon ran -through with as little frugality as my reals. When I found my resources -thus at an end, I was obliged to sell my fine clothes and linen, and to -get rid of my valet, who went to seek his fortune elsewhere; and having -no money to game with, I ceased to associate with the officers, who -guessed but too rightly the reasons that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_082" id="page_082"></a>{82}</span> obliged me thus to alter my -conduct towards them.</p> - -<p>Reflections now came thick upon the prodigal child; and though I had not -given way to them while my money lasted, now that it was gone, at least -a million presented themselves to my imagination. I recalled to mind all -my past follies, and reproached myself as severely as a professed -pedagogue could have done, resolving to manage better for the future, as -though I had still several bags of reals in my portmanteau. I chiefly -repented of having given such fine entertainments to the Captain, who no -longer invited me to dinner as usual, now that all my money was gone. -The other officers, thinking that I had nothing more to lose, turned -their backs upon me. The serjeants, who had before been in the habit of -visiting me as a second Captain, and who had considered themselves -honoured by my condescending to converse with them, no longer<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_083" id="page_083"></a>{83}</span> came near -me. There was not a single soldier but avoided me; and I question if -even the blackguards that followed them would have deigned to associate -with me, had I been inclined to have been their comrade. But it was but -just, after such useless extravagance, that I was punished as I -deserved. If there was any thing that could console me in my unfortunate -situation it was, that during the whole course of my prosperity I had -not committed the least knavery. This gave my Captain a good opinion of -me, who, believing as firmly as ever that I was a young man of high -birth, still retained some esteem for me in my misery. He had himself -too well profited by my foolish conduct not to forgive me from the -bottom of his soul; and when I called upon him one evening he received -me much as usual, without taking any notice of the situation of my -affairs, though he was in reality much affected; and he could not avoid -saying,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_084" id="page_084"></a>{84}</span> to me, one day that I was more melancholy than usual, “My dear -Guzman, I should indeed be hard-hearted and ungrateful were I insensible -to your troubles, after the many proofs you have given me of your -friendship. But you have yet to learn that my fortune is but little -better than your own; and I am sincerely afflicted that I am utterly -incapable of convincing you of my good wishes by my actions. All I can -pretend to offer you in your present distress is a lodging in my house, -and the table of my servants; for myself, I am obliged to dine out, from -my utter incapacity to receive my friends at home.”</p> - -<p>This proposal, which he did not make without a blush, was tendered in so -obliging a manner that I accepted it. Pride becomes nobody, but still -less a man who has no money, and knows not where to lay his head; it is -a cameleon, which lives only on the wind. From his companion I was now -become his servant.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_085" id="page_085"></a>{85}</span> But I owe him this piece of justice: instead of -treating me like a common servant, he behaved in the most considerate -manner towards me. When he wished me to do any thing for him, he -requested instead of commanding it; and, on my side, I was always more -anxious than the other domestics to make myself useful to him, that I -might preserve his friendship, and not eat the bread of idleness; and I -so completely succeeded in my desire to please him, by anticipating his -every wish, that, believing me to be faithful, and even prudent, though -I had sufficiently proved myself the reverse by my former dissipations, -he resolved to make me acquainted with the present state of his affairs, -to convince me that he placed entire confidence in me.</p> - -<p>He confessed to me then that he was so much reduced, that a few jewels -which he possessed were his only resource. “Can you guess,” added he,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_086" id="page_086"></a>{86}</span> -“what has reduced me to this extremity?”—the time that was consumed in -soliciting my employment, and the great presents I was obliged to make -to obtain it. Yes, were I to begin life afresh, I would renounce such a -profession, notwithstanding the desire that every Spanish gentleman -naturally has to acquire glory in the army. I cannot reflect on what I -have submitted to without blushing; for, besides the money that I have -expended, how many whole days have I passed with my hat in my hand, -soliciting, flattering, bowing to the ground, kicking my heels at -levees, sometimes to speak to one person, sometimes to meet with -another, cringing, acting a servant’s part, and a thousand other -meannesses of which I am ashamed! But the most provoking treatment that -I met with, and which I felt most sensibly, was on the day preceding -that on which I had been promised my commission. After having consumed -more than eight months<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_087" id="page_087"></a>{87}</span> in solicitations in the manner I have just -described to you, I accompanied my patron as he came out of the palace, -and conducted him, with the most profound respect, to the steps of his -carriage, which was in waiting for him, but unfortunately put my hat on -a moment before the carriage drove off. The Minister noticed this, -darted a haughty look at me, and soon convinced me that this accident -had offended him, for my commission was not delivered to me for above -four months after. I even ran the risk of losing both my trouble and my -money by not obtaining it at all.</p> - -<p>“God deliver every honest man,” continued he, raising his eyes towards -Heaven, “from persons who possess power and bad dispositions united! How -blind are these idols of the Court, who expect to be adored like -deities! They must surely have forgotten that they are but miserable -comedians, appointed to play principal characters, and that at the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_088" id="page_088"></a>{88}</span> end -of the piece, that is to say, of their lives, they must leave the stage -like ourselves, and be thought of no more.”</p> - -<p>I was so affected by this relation, that I felt more interested in my -Captain’s misfortunes than my own; and assured him, in the most -impressive terms my heart could dictate, that there was nothing I would -not undertake for him, and that I would willingly expose my life to be -of service to him. He thanked me for my good wishes. “But what -assistance,” added he, smiling, “can I expect from you in your present -condition?” “That we shall see,” answered I; “for though I am young, -necessity inspires wit, and may supply my deficiency of experience. -Leave it to me to find you the means of living at ease until we embark.” -The Captain smiled again at these words, and, without making any reply, -shook his head, to shew me that he placed but little reliance on -professions dictated by my inconsiderate zeal<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_089" id="page_089"></a>{89}</span> to serve him. Had he -known my talents he would have formed a different opinion; but I soon -obliged him to do me justice.</p> - -<p>As the galleys were a long while ere they arrived, we were obliged to be -billeted, upon short allowance, in the different villages, and -frequently moved our quarters. At every house I left a dozen billets, -which brought us in at least twelve reals each, and from some of the -more opulent inhabitants fifty. For my own part, I gained admittance -into every house at free cost, without quartering myself on any in -particular; and I never failed to leave proofs at each that I had the -perfect use of my hands. I really think that I would even have carried -off water from their wells, rather than have gone away empty-handed. By -these means I so completely re-established my Captain’s finances, that -he was enabled to keep open table again as before; and the dexterity of -my hands<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_090" id="page_090"></a>{90}</span> supplied him abundantly with good cheer, at a cheap rate: -fowls, capons, geese, pullets, and pigeons, fell as thick as hail into -the kitchen, and hams were not wanting to complete the larder.</p> - -<p>If by chance the master of a house happened to catch me in the fact, in -case it were but a small theft I made a jest of it, and though a -greater, the worst that could happen to me was to be carried before my -Captain, who reprimanded me in a severe manner, and sometimes caused me -to be imprisoned in a chamber, where I received by his orders a hundred -lashes which I never felt at all, though I always made the room ring -with cries as if I were being torn in pieces, though I was never so much -as touched all the while. This satisfied the injured parties, and saved -the honour of the officer. Sometimes the complainants themselves would -intercede with the Captain on my behalf, conjuring him out of pity to -forgive me.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_091" id="page_091"></a>{91}</span></p> - -<p>Jests like these, however, generally grow serious. After these petty -thefts, I was not content until I ventured upon greater. For this -purpose, I selected five or six of the most resolute fellows in our -company; we all disguised ourselves, and went on the highway, where we -stopped several travellers, who, by immediately surrendering their -money, prevented the crimes which their resistance might have caused us -to commit. Our Captain was no sooner informed of these dangerous -proceedings, than, dreading the consequences both to himself and me, he -positively forbade my carrying on this game any longer, desiring me to -confine myself to more innocent amusement for the future, such as -finding false musters, in which science I was a perfect adept. By a -false beard, or a patch on the eye, I could easily make the same soldier -receive pay three times over, without detection. In short, I became so -useful to the Captain, that he confessed to me that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_092" id="page_092"></a>{92}</span> my industry alone -was worth much more to him than the whole income that he derived from -his Company.</p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XIX" id="CHAP_XIX"></a>CHAP. XIX.<br /><br /> -<i>Guzman proceeds with the Company to Barcelona, where he plays a trick upon a Jeweller, and embarks for Italy.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> galleys at length arrived at Barcelona. As soon as we received this -intelligence, we marched thither to embark; but as the wind was not -favourable, we were obliged to remain a considerable time in that city, -where something more than my usual address was necessary to enable us to -live in plenty at so cheap a rate as before. I soon remarked that my -Captain was relapsing into his former despondency, and I easily guessed -the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_093" id="page_093"></a>{93}</span> cause: well might I know the nature of his complaint, since I was -the physician who had already cured him of it.</p> - -<p>For this once, however, I felt at a loss how to prescribe, being -entirely unacquainted with the map of Barcelona, and the disposition of -its inhabitants. I did not, however, forget to tender my exertions as a -specific to my patient, who replied, in a serious manner, that we had no -longer peasants to deal with, and that I must be very cautious what I -did. Difficulties tended only to quicken my apprehension, and an idea -occurred to me which I resolved to follow. I have already told you that -the Captain had some jewels which he reserved for a rainy day. Amongst -these jewels was a gold Reliquary, set round with diamonds, which he -intended to dispose of for subsistence until we embarked. I requested -him to shew it me, and asked if he could place so much confidence in me -as to entrust it to me for a day or<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_094" id="page_094"></a>{94}</span> two, adding that I would return it -to him with usury. “Oh! Oh! my little Guzman,” answered he with a smile, -“what piece of roguery have you now in contemplation?” “You have only,” -replied I, “to let me have the Reliquary, and keep up your spirits. If, -notwithstanding all the precautions that I can take to perform safely -the trick that I have in my head, I should be so unfortunate as to meet -with any check from justice, I can at least pledge myself to save your -honor, and to bear all the ill consequences of it myself.”</p> - -<p>My Captain could hold out no longer, but gave me the Reliquary, saying, -that he wished me success in my enterprize, whatever it might be. -Nobody, indeed, had more interest in it than himself, to whom all the -profit would accrue. I put the jewel into a purse which I hid in my -bosom, the string of which I tied to the buttons of my doublet; after -which I went to the first Jeweller’s I could meet,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_095" id="page_095"></a>{95}</span> who, fortunately for -me, was well known in the city as a noted usurer. I asked him if he was -inclined to purchase a fine Reliquary. I shewed it him, and could easily -perceive that he liked it very well, although he pretended not to think -much of it. I did not wait until he asked me the usual questions, but -told him that I was a soldier in a company newly raised, and that was -destined for Italy; that I had spent all my money, and having no other -resource, found myself reduced to dispose of this jewel, that I might -not be entirely destitute. “You are at liberty,” added I, “to go and -ascertain from my Captain, from the other officers, and even soldiers, -who I am; they will inform you that I am styled Don Juan de Guzman: upon -their report of me, you can make up your mind whether you will buy the -Reliquary or not. While you are making these inquiries I will go and -wait for you on the quay, where I have a little business to settle.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_096" id="page_096"></a>{96}</span></p> - -<p>The Jeweller, who was not willing to allow this jewel to escape him, -took his cloak immediately, and hastened to the place where I told him -we lodged, and did not fail to question several of the officers and -soldiers, as to the character of a certain Don Juan de Guzman who -described himself as belonging to their company. Every man of them (for -I was generally beloved) assured him I was a young man of quality, who -intended to pass over to Italy with them, and that they had known me -make a most brilliant figure. In short, they spoke so well of me, that -he soon returned to look for me on the quay, where he had no great -difficulty to find me, for I had no other business there but to wait for -and entrap him. He requested me, as soon as he came up, to allow him to -see the Reliquary again, which he was come to treat for. “Willingly,” -replied I, “but let us retire a little, as I have no wish to have a -crowd assembled about us.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_097" id="page_097"></a>{97}</span></p> - -<p>I then drew the jewel out of my purse and handed it to him: he looked at -it on all sides, and after having examined it minutely, asked me what I -would have for it. I told him two hundred crowns; and though that was -not half its value, the old usurer pretended to be quite astonished at -such a price, and began to tell me that the gold was by no means of the -finest quality. Besides which he found great fault with the workmanship, -as well as with the diamonds: nevertheless, he offered me one half, and -I was surprised in my turn. “That will not do,” cried I, “you take -advantage of my situation; but distressed as I am for money, I declare -that you shall not have it for less than a hundred and fifty crowns.”</p> - -<p>He still continued to make so many objections, that I was at last -contented to conclude the bargain at a hundred and twenty, and he -requested me to accompany him to his shop to receive the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_098" id="page_098"></a>{98}</span> money. This I -refused, telling him that I expected a person to meet me on the quay, -and, therefore, could not leave it; that if he would return home and -procure the sum agreed on, he would find me again in the same place. The -Jeweller, finding that I could not be prevailed on to accompany him, and -being apprehensive that the person whom I expected might be another -Jeweller, whom I had appointed to meet on the same subject, ran home -with great haste, lest he should be deprived of his bargain before his -return.</p> - -<p>The old rogue soon returned to me again, quite out of breath, bringing -with him in a small bag the hundred and twenty crowns, which he counted -into my hand. I requested the bag of him in which I put the money, and -offered him in exchange the purse that the Reliquary was kept in; but -affecting to find great difficulty in untying the strings, which I had -purposely well fastened, I snatched,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_099" id="page_099"></a>{99}</span> as though from impatience, a knife -which I observed in a sheath at his girdle, and cut them asunder. -Although this action seemed to surprise him a little, he was so far from -guessing the cause, that he departed and walked towards home, well -satisfied with his purchase, and very far from suspecting the snare that -I had laid for him.</p> - -<p>After having allowed him to proceed a few steps, I beckoned to one of my -comrades, as great a rogue as myself, whom I had stationed near at hand -so as to be ready when called for, and desired him to carry the crowns -to our Captain. Then I ran as fast as I could after my Jeweller, for I -had not lost sight of him, and overtook him at a part where the roads -met, where there happened to be some soldiers assembled, to whom I -pointed him out, crying aloud, “stop thief, fellow soldiers, stop thief! -for God’s sake stop that old rascal there, who has just robbed me; let -him not escape!”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_100" id="page_100"></a>{100}</span> The soldiers, some of whom belonged to our own -company, stopped the poor Jeweller immediately, asking him how he had -given me cause to complain thus of him. He was at first so bewildered -with fear and astonishment, that he had not the power of uttering a -word. Had he spoken, however, it would not have availed him, for his -voice would have been drowned by that of his accuser: nobody was to be -heard but myself, who kept up a continued roar; and to make more -impression on the soldiers, I fell down on my knees before them, and -forcing some tears into my eyes, implored their assistance.</p> - -<p>“Gentlemen,” said I, “you see before you in that old rogue one of the -greatest hypocrites in Spain. I chanced just now to be standing by him -on the quay, where he remarked that I had a purse in my bosom, and asked -me what was in it? a Reliquary, answered I, which my master the Captain -accidentally left<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_101" id="page_101"></a>{101}</span> at the bed’s-head this morning, and that I have taken -care of to give it to him again; upon this, the old rascal whom you have -secured requested me in a civil manner to shew it him, telling me that -he was a Goldsmith, and was curious in jewels. I satisfied his -curiosity, and he asked me if I would dispose of this Reliquary. That -cannot be, said I, for it is my master’s; at the same time I replaced it -in my purse which was tied to my button; whereupon my thief, while he -amused me with words, drew forth a knife which he had in a sheath at his -girdle, and suddenly cut the strings, the ends of which are still to be -seen. Take the trouble. Gentlemen, of searching him, I beg of you,” -added I, “and you will find the purse containing the jewel somewhere -about his person, for I have followed him so closely, that he has not -had an opportunity of otherwise disposing of it.”</p> - -<p>The soldiers instantly began to search him: they drew forth the purse -containing<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_102" id="page_102"></a>{102}</span> the Reliquary from his bosom where he had placed it, and -perceiving that the strings had really been cut, they no longer doubted -the Goldsmith’s guilt: in vain did he protest and swear that I had sold -it him; they would not believe him, it being so extremely improbable -that an old and experienced Jeweller could consent to purchase so rich a -Reliquary of a young soldier, without suspecting that it must have been -stolen. “Once more,” cried the accused, “I assure you that I paid this -young man for the Reliquary a hundred and twenty crowns in gold, which I -reckoned into his hand, and which he must now have about him: you have -only to search him also to find these gold coins, which I paid him only -a few minutes since.” The soldiers, to satisfy him, rummaged my pockets -out; and finding no money about me, they began to revile him most -unmercifully, and even to beat him. Nevertheless, as he insisted on -being conducted<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_103" id="page_103"></a>{103}</span> to a Judge, they carried us both before one.</p> - -<p>Here I related my case in the same manner as I had reported it to the -soldiers, who, upon being interrogated by the Judge, said more than was -sufficient to convince him that the Jeweller had really seized this -Reliquary from me by force; in addition to which, this citizen being so -well known as a covetous man who would not scruple at a trifle, they -were the more disposed to think him guilty. The Magistrate, however, out -of consideration for his family, which consisted of some of the first -persons in the city, was content to reprimand him severely, and -delivered the jewel into my hands again, desiring me to carry it to my -master, which I did immediately.</p> - -<p>When I related this adventure to the Captain, he returned thanks to -Heaven that it had ended so well: he had feared, and with some reason, -that I should have come but scurvily off in so slippery an<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_104" id="page_104"></a>{104}</span> affair, and -my boldness made him tremble. Although he was the only person that -profited by my rogueries, yet he resolved to get rid of the rogue, -fearing that I should at last ruin him as well as myself by some unlucky -adventure. He was impatient for the day when we should embark, which at -length arrived. The galleys left the harbour of Barcelona, and -transported us in safety to Genoa, where we were no sooner landed, than -my Captain said to me in private, “my dear Guzman, we are now in the -country whither you have been so extremely anxious to come,” for I had -communicated to him my intentions of visiting my kindred; “we must now, -with your leave, begin to think of parting, for I am not more afraid of -all the devils together than of the consequences of these legerdemain -tricks of yours: farewell, my friend,” added he, putting a pistole into -my hand, “I much regret that I am not in a situation to make you a -better acknowledgment<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_105" id="page_105"></a>{105}</span> for your services.” Thus saying, he departed, -leaving me so thunderstruck with his compliment, that I could not utter -a word. But what could I have said to him? was it necessary to represent -to him all the dangers I had faced on his account? he was well aware of -them, for what else was it that caused my dismissal. I could not be -surprised at his behaviour. I had only the common fate of rogues, who, -like vipers and scorpions, are made use of, while any thing useful can -be extracted from them, and afterwards thrown to the dogs.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_106" id="page_106"></a>{106}</span></p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XX" id="CHAP_XX"></a>CHAP. XX.<br /><br /> -<i>Guzman having arrived at Genoa, resolves to present himself before his kindred there. How he was received by them.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">As</span> soon as I had quitted the captain, or rather when I found myself -abandoned by him, my only thought was how to console myself under this -misfortune, and I soon forgot it, when I reflected that I was now at -Genoa, where I had so long desired to be. I inquired in the city about -my relations, and was informed that they were the most rich and powerful -persons in that republic. I was overjoyed at this news, for I did not -doubt that I should receive the greatest assistance from them, when they -knew that I was a branch of their noble family.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_107" id="page_107"></a>{107}</span></p> - -<p>I looked about for another inn where I could live thriftily, until I -should be rather a more decent figure to visit my relations. My pistole -could not do much for me, part of which I was obliged to expend in -procuring a pair of shoes which I was sadly in want of; my clothes were -also much worn as well as my stockings and hat, so that my whole dress -was in a ruinous condition. “So much the better,” said I: “my relations -can never suffer me to remain long in such a state to be a disgrace to -them. Let me quickly, therefore, make myself known to them, that I may -the sooner be relieved from my misery.”</p> - -<p>I then immediately set forward with this intention, and asked the way to -their house, boasting to every one I spoke to that I had the honour to -be of their family, which was soon reported to them by some of their -enemies, who, thinking that the sight of a lad so wretchedly equipped -would afford them no great<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_108" id="page_108"></a>{108}</span> pleasure, were the more anxious to -communicate to them the agreeable news. My generous relations were -almost desperate. They looked upon my poverty as an infamous disgrace to -them; and I verily believe, that could they, without danger to -themselves, have caused me to be poniarded, they would not have -hesitated a moment, for such practices were but too common in that -country. But, as I was already talked of all over the city, where my -father had been so well known, if I had disappeared all of a sudden, the -cause would have been easily guessed.</p> - -<p>Do not be surprised, reader, at my ill opinion of my relations; had you -been in their place I do not think that you would have behaved much -better towards me. Suppose yourself for a moment as rich as they were, -and tell me candidly how you would have received a beggar, who comes up -to you as suddenly as if he had just fallen from the clouds, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_109" id="page_109"></a>{109}</span> -salutes you in the middle of the street saying, good morrow, uncle, or -brother, I am a son of your brother, or of your mother; would you not be -extremely mortified? and yet I was so imprudent as to address them in -this public manner: thus I never saluted one of them that did not treat -me with the titles of rascal and impostor, accompanying these epithets -with threats; “take our advice,” said they, “and do not remain much -longer at Genoa, lest you pass but an unpleasant time here.” In vain did -I name my father, protesting that he ranked among the noble Genoese; -they seemed all to have forgotten that there had ever been such a person -in existence.</p> - -<p>One evening I met a venerable looking old man, who accosted me in a -polite and insinuating manner: “my son,” said he, “is it not you who -have reason to complain of certain titled personages who have not chosen -to acknowledge you for one of their noble blood?” I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_110" id="page_110"></a>{110}</span> answered in the -affirmative, and told him who was my father. “I recollect him well,” -replied the old man, “and there are certainly in this city several of -the principal nobles who are his relations. I can even introduce you to -a banker who must have been a most intimate friend of your father’s, and -who to-morrow, for it is too late to-day, will, I doubt not, be happy to -satisfy you in every particular concerning your family. In the mean -time,” continued he, “come and take up your lodging at my house: I feel -quite indignant at the behaviour of your cousins towards you, who ought -rather to have received you with the greatest affection: but follow me, -and be assured that the banker will put it in your power to be fully -avenged of them for their hard-heartedness.”</p> - -<p>I accepted the old man’s offer of a lodging in his house by returning -thanks to heaven by so fortunate a rencounter. His appearance was such -that I did not<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_111" id="page_111"></a>{111}</span> in the least mistrust him. He had a good natured serious -air, his bald head and white beard rendering his appearance truly -venerable; he walked with a staff, and wore a long robe; in fact I -looked upon him as another St. Paul. When we arrived at his house, which -appeared to me like a magnificent hotel, a servant came to meet him to -take off his long robe; but the old gentleman from an excess of -politeness would not part with it, but sent the servant away, after -having communicated something to him in Italian, which was so much -Hebrew to me. He then conducted me into a large parlour, where we -conversed concerning the affairs of Spain for above an hour, and from -them proceeded insensibly to those of our own family, respecting which -he seemed extremely curious, questioning me more particularly concerning -my mother; and I answered him in the most cautious manner. This -discourse was beginning to grow tedious, when the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_112" id="page_112"></a>{112}</span> servant returned; -they had another short conversation together in Italian, which I -understood no better than the former. But immediately afterwards, the -good old man addressed himself to me in Spanish: “I suppose,” said he, -“you have of course supped, you must be weary, and it is time to be a -bed. We shall meet again in the morning.” Then turning to his servant, -“Antonio,” continued he, “shew this gentleman to the finest chamber in -the house.”</p> - -<p>I had much more inclination to eat than to sleep, for I was literally -half dying with hunger; having unfortunately dined very sparingly at my -inn that day; for my pistole was just at an end. That I might not, -however, presume upon the goodness of an host who seemed so disposed to -be of service to me, I followed his servant, as if I had a good -bellyful, and was carried through an enfilade of seven or eight rooms -paved with alabaster, each vying with the others in magnificence.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_113" id="page_113"></a>{113}</span> From -thence we entered a gallery which led into a fine chamber in which there -was a very rich bed with superb tapestry. “You see your chamber,” said -Antonio, “and the bed that is destined for you: none are allowed to -sleep here but princes and some few of my master’s nearest relatives.”</p> - -<p>After having allowed me to admire the richness of the furniture for a -while, this servant offered to undress me, but I declined his assistance -for very good reasons; my ragged shirt was by no means in a state to be -exhibited; and in addition to this, the rest of my clothes were now of -so very fine a texture, that they required a hand more interested in -their welfare than his was, to take them off delicately. Either through -malice, however, or that he thought I declined his good natured offer -merely from politeness, he returned to the charge, and seeming -determined to assist me in spite of my teeth, he caught hold of me, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_114" id="page_114"></a>{114}</span> -drew off one of my sleeves so suddenly, that had I not prevented him -with my other hand, he would undoubtedly have torn it to pieces. I then -entreated him in a peevish tone to leave me to my rest, and he prevented -my further anger by desisting as I desired. I retired to the side of the -bed, threw off my rags which were held together only by a few laces, and -jumped into bed, the sheets of which were clean and completely perfumed. -This done, I told the servant he might take away the candle. “I am not -so inconsiderate,” replied he: “it would be the means of causing you to -pass a very uneasy night; for it is very common for large bats, which -are very numerous in this country, to conceal themselves in chambers -with so lofty a ceiling, and you will be much disturbed by them if you -remain without light. Add to this,” continued he, “there are certain -evil spirits that frequent the principal houses in this city, by whom -you will infallibly<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_115" id="page_115"></a>{115}</span> be tormented, if you neglect to keep lighted -candles in the room, the brightness of which, it is said, they are -afraid of.” He told me all this tale with an ingenuous air, and I -listened to him with all the credulity of an infant, instead of -mistrusting this Antonio, whose knavish countenance ought to have been -sufficient to have excited my suspicions.</p> - -<p>No sooner had he left the chamber, than I got out of bed and bolted the -door, less from fear of being robbed, than in the hope of thus securing -myself from the persecution of the aforesaid spirits. Considering myself -then in perfect safety, I lay down again, and reflected on the -benevolence of my venerable landlord. So far from suspecting him of any -bad design, which, had I possessed a little more experience, I should -not have failed to have done, I represented to myself that he could be -no other than one of my nearest relatives, who had not chosen to make -himself known to me over night,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_116" id="page_116"></a>{116}</span> that he might surprise me the more -agreeably in the morning. “I would lay a good wager,” said I to myself, -“that when I wake to-morrow morning, I shall find a tailor in waiting to -take measure of me for a fine suit of clothes. I may rest assured that -in future I shall never want for any thing, and that I have not lost my -labour in coming to Italy.” Flattered by these agreeable thoughts, my -senses were beguiled by degrees into a most profound sleep.</p> - -<p>Although Antonio had told me that the evil spirits were so averse to -light, my candles did not secure me from the persecution of four figures -in the shape of so many devils who entered my chamber. It was some time -before I heard the noise created by these demons; but as it was very far -from their intention to respect my repose, they advanced towards the -bed, drew the curtains, two of them seized me by the arms, and the other -two by the legs, and dragged me out of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_117" id="page_117"></a>{117}</span> bed. At length I awoke; and -finding myself thus dangling in the air in the clutches of four devils, -I was so terribly frightened that I was more dead than alive. They were -each habited exactly as the devil is represented; with huge long tails, -frightful vizards, and horns on their heads. I had just sufficient sense -remaining in me to invoke the assistance of some Saint whose name -occurred to me at the moment. But had I offered up prayers, they would -have been equally unavailing. These apparitions were not to be driven -from their purpose; exorcisms even would have been useless, for the -devils that I had to deal with had been baptized. They placed me in one -of my blankets, and each taking a corner, began to toss me in the air -with such violence, that they threw me to the ceiling at every toss, -against which I expected every moment that either my head or one of my -arms would have been broken. But they contented themselves<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_118" id="page_118"></a>{118}</span> with only -bruising me, though they did not cease to make me vault in this manner -until they were completely fatigued, or rather until their noses -informed them that my fear grew laxative. They then placed me in bed -again, covered me over as they found me, extinguished the light, and -vanished the same way as they had entered.</p> - -<p>In this pitiable condition I remained until day-break; and with the most -dreadful sensation of fear still on my mind, I made an effort to get up, -with the intention of hastening as quickly as possible out of a house -where the duties of hospitality had been so scurvily fulfilled. But I -could not rise, or dress myself without the greatest difficulty and -pain, the cause of which I could not remember without bestowing a -thousand curses on the old rascal who had caused me to be thus cruelly -treated. He no longer seemed to me that personage so worthy of -veneration, no longer that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_119" id="page_119"></a>{119}</span> benevolent character the meeting with whom -had so much delighted me, but an old sorcerer, destined to be damned -from the creation of the world.</p> - -<p>Before I quitted the chamber, I was curious to know how these malignant -spirits could have entered it. I first examined the door, and finding it -still bolted as I had left it before I fell asleep, I could not -reasonably imagine that they had found their way to me by that means. -But having lifted up the hangings, I perceived a large window covered by -them, which opened into the gallery. This was still open, the -apparitions not having taken the trouble to close it after them. I made -not the least noise, lest there should be something still in reserve for -me, and thought of nothing but how to extricate myself from this cursed -place. I had already left the room with this view, when I met Antonio in -the gallery, who informed me that his master was waiting for me at the -nearest church.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_120" id="page_120"></a>{120}</span> All the answer I made was to request him to shew me to -the street-door, which he did with as much sang-froid as if he had not -been one of the goblins who had amused themselves so much at my expence. -I no sooner got out of doors, than I scampered off as if I had not a -bruise about me. What wonderful strength is imparted by fear! I ran as -fast as my legs would carry me.</p> - -<p>As soon as I considered myself in perfect safety, my hunger, which had -been suspended for a while by fear, became such, that I was obliged to -satisfy it by buying some baked meat and a slice of bread, which I -amused myself with eating as I walked along. I did not stop till I had -got quite out of the city, and then seeing a tavern before me, I went in -and drank a glass of good wine. This so completely reanimated my -courage, that after a slight repast, I was able to set out again, taking -the road towards Rome, reflecting on the affectionate reception I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_121" id="page_121"></a>{121}</span> had -met with from my relations, and especially from my old friend. I made a -solemn oath never to forget the detestable night that this grey bearded -old wolf had allured me under his roof, for which I resolved to be fully -avenged on him the very first opportunity.</p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XXI" id="CHAP_XXI"></a>CHAP. XXI.<br /><br /> -<i>What becomes of Guzman after having left Genoa.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I travelled</span> some distance from Genoa, without so much as turning my head -once towards that city, as though I feared that the sight of it would -have petrified me. I resembled one of those who escaped from the battle -of Roncesvalles; I walked on without having any determined route, though -it was my wish<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_122" id="page_122"></a>{122}</span> to go to Rome. At length I reached a town about ten -miles from Genoa, where I stopped some hours to rest myself, and spent -what remained of my pistole. Then resigning myself entirely into the -hands of Providence, I resumed my journey.</p> - -<p>It was well for me that I had been accustomed to misfortunes, and that I -had already made some progress in the art of begging. What would have -become of me without this resource? I should have been much to be -pitied. Any one that possesses the talent of exciting his neighbour’s -charity may travel all over Italy without money. I must render this -justice to Italy, that no nation in the world has more charity in it. In -proof of which assertion, I reached Rome without spending a single sous -of all the money that I was able to collect on the road, and which I -carefully reserved. In the different villages through which I passed I -had more meat<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_123" id="page_123"></a>{123}</span> and bread given me than I could possibly consume. -Mendicity in that country is a fine resource for persons of spirit in -bad circumstances who cannot make up their minds to be industrious. For -my own part, I was so naturally inclined to that trade that I wished for -no better. I must confess that when I found myself in the capital of the -Catholic World with money enough in my pocket to buy a new suit of -clothes, I was at first somewhat tempted to employ it that way, with -design to offer my services to some nobleman; but I had courage enough -to resist this desire, which I considered in no other light than as a -temptation of the devil.</p> - -<p>“Oh! Oh! Guzman,” said I to myself, “do you wish to give yourself the -same airs here as at Toledo; suppose, when you have expended all your -little hoard in dress, you should be so unlucky as to find no one -willing to employ you, who do you think will feed you, my<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_124" id="page_124"></a>{124}</span> friend? do -you imagine that a fine new coat is likely to excite charity? undeceive -yourself. You will be more likely to fare better in your present dress. -Be wise, and rather endeavour to profit by your old follies than to seek -after new ones. Be contented as you are, and do not resume your former -vanities.” Reasoning with myself in this manner, I tied up my purse with -a double knot, and addressing myself to the money within it: “Remain -thus secure,” said I, “until I find a better opportunity of making thee -useful.”</p> - -<p>I began then to traverse the streets of Rome in my rags, soliciting alms -like one who believed himself a master in the art, but who was in -reality a mere apprentice in comparison with the professors of that -country. Among these was a young fellow, who remarking the manner of -begging that I adopted, found that I required a few lessons, which he -was kind enough to give me. We associated<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_125" id="page_125"></a>{125}</span> together; and to render me -useful to the society, he taught me the different manners and the -several tones in which alms should be asked of different people, and -that the same speech would not always do. “Men,” said he, “are not in -the least affected by the plaintive and lamentable tones adopted by most -beggars. They will be much more likely to put their hands in their -pockets, when you implore their assistance boldly for God’s sake.” “As -for women,” continued he, “as some pay their devotions to the Holy -Virgin, and others to our lady of the Rosary, it is by one of these that -we wheedle them. It has frequently a good effect also to pray that they -may be preserved from all mortal sin, from false witnesses, the power of -traitors, and from slanderous tongues: such wishes as these, pronounced -in energetic terms, and in an impressive tone of voice, will almost -always make their purses fly open to assist you.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_126" id="page_126"></a>{126}</span></p> - -<p>He taught me moreover how to excite the compassion of the rich; and what -is still more difficult of professed devotees. In a word, he gave me -such good instructions, and I made so good a use of them, that I soon -received more money than I could spend. I was already perfectly -acquainted with Rome, from the Pope down to the very lowest scullion in -the city. For fear of troubling my customers too often, I divided the -city into seven parts, allotting one for every day in the week. I never -failed to present myself at the several churches on holidays, where I -was sure to pick up something. As to the pieces of bread that were -usually given at doors of private houses, I sold what I did not want to -distressed objects who were ashamed to beg, but who, by being relieved -in private by the faithful, were well able to pay for what they bought -of me. Country people and others, who made it their business to fatten -fowls<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_127" id="page_127"></a>{127}</span> and hogs, were also frequent purchasers; but the spicecake makers -were my best customers. I likewise made something considerable by the -old rags which were given me by charitable persons who could not without -pity see a lad of my age almost naked, especially in winter.</p> - -<p>Having by this time become acquainted with the first professors in the -art of begging, I was now perfect master of the trade, by following -their directions and example. It happened one day that about thirty of -our fraternity were collected before the door of the Ambassador of -France, where I heard one of my comrades behind me cry, “Look at that -Spanish glutton there, he’ll certainly spoil our trade. When once his -guts are well filled with the soup or meat that is given him, he -declines taking any more; this it is that ruins our business. By these -means, people will be apt to think that poor people like us have too -<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_128" id="page_128"></a>{128}</span>much given them.” One of our veterans, who knew me, overhearing this, -said to the beggar who uttered this complaint, “Peace, comrade, do you -not see that this novice is a stranger who is not yet acquainted with -our regulations. Leave him to me, and I will undertake to instruct him. -He is a pretty apt scholar, I assure you, and will in a very short time -be a match for any of us.”</p> - -<p>After having thus taken my part, he called me aside in a low voice, and -asked me several questions; as, in what part of Spain I was born? what -was my name, and how long I had been at Rome? When I had answered all -these queries in a very laconic style, he proceeded to represent to me, -but in a very mild manner, the mutual feeling that beggars were bound to -observe towards each other, that a proper <i>decorum</i> might be supported -among them; that they ought to be so united as to play into each other’s -hands like brother pick-pockets in a fair. From thence entering into a -long detail,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_129" id="page_129"></a>{129}</span> he revealed so many secrets to me as soon convinced me how -inferior I was to these great men. Amongst other things which I had -never yet heard of, he taught me how to enlarge my stomach, so as to be -able to eat four times as much as usual, without incommoding myself; not -forgetting to recommend me, never to eat before people, without -effecting extreme greediness, for he assured me, it was most essential -to persuade them that beggars are dying with hunger. He concluded by -informing me at what hours I should be sure to be at such and such -places: that in some houses I might venture to enter the kitchen, and -even as far as the parlour; but that in others I must not dare to enter -the door.</p> - -<p>I now thought that he had completely exhausted the subject, but all -these things were nothing in comparison with the begging-laws, which he -made me read at his own house, whither he led me, as soon as the alms of -the French<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_130" id="page_130"></a>{130}</span> Ambassador were distributed. He did not content himself by -allowing me merely to read these admirable regulations, but insisted on -my taking a copy of them, that by being well acquainted with them, I -might never again infringe them in so shameful a manner. I have not -thought myself bound, friendly reader, to withhold these statutes, which -I shall communicate to you as they were presented to me. If there be any -who have no wish to have the manners of low life depicted to them, is it -just that I should accommodate myself to their excessive delicacy, and -withdraw a picture which may afford much pleasure to others?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_131" id="page_131"></a>{131}</span></p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XXII" id="CHAP_XXII"></a>CHAP. XXII.<br /><br /> -<i>The Laws of begging.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">As</span> beggars of every nation are distinguished from each other by their -different modes of imploring alms; as the Germans beg by singing, and in -troops, the French by their praying, the Flemings by their respectful -bowings, the Bohemians by fortune telling, the Portuguese by their -crying, the Italians by long harangues, the English by abusing, and the -Spaniards by their haughty growlings: we hereby command them all to -observe the following Statutes under pain of our heavy displeasure.</p> - -<p>1. We forbid any lame or wounded beggar, of whatever nation he be, to -appear in the quarters frequented by others full of health and vigour, -on account<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_132" id="page_132"></a>{132}</span> of the advantage they will have over the latter. We also -ordain, that all such as are in perfect health, form no manner of -connexion with blind men, field-preachers, mountebanks, poets, -musicians, redeemed captives, nor even with old soldiers that have -escaped from a rout, or seamen saved from a shipwreck. For although it -is generally allowed, that all these must subsist by imploring charity, -their manners of begging being different, it is necessary that each -society keep to its own particular rules.</p> - -<p>2. We ordain that beggars have certain taverns assigned them in every -country, where shall preside three or four of their ancients with staves -in their hands as emblems of their authority. Which said ancients are -hereby empowered to canvass, in the aforesaid taverns, all the affairs -of the world, and to give their opinions as freely as they please. At -the same time, we permit the other beggars to relate their own<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_133" id="page_133"></a>{133}</span> heroic -exploits, as well as those of their ancestors, and even to illustrate -the conversation by boasting of battles they were never in.</p> - -<p>3. We command, that every beggar carry a good cudgel in his hand, with a -spike at the end of it if possible, to be provided against emergencies, -lest they repent of their neglect.</p> - -<p>4. That each beggar take especial care never to presume to wear any -thing new; that all his clothes be worn out, torn, or patched; nothing -bringing more scandal on our profession than begging in good clothes. Be -it, however, well understood, that if in the exercise of his -professional duties, a beggar chance to obtain some new garment, he is -at liberty to deck himself out in it for that day, but no longer. We -positively will, and command, that he dispose of it the following -morning.</p> - -<p>5. To prevent any dispute that may arise between comrades for certain -posts,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_134" id="page_134"></a>{134}</span> we ordain that the more ancient possessor prevail and take -precedence, without regard to persons.</p> - -<p>6. It is permitted that two infirm or sick persons beg in company, if -they please, and call each other brothers; provided they beg by turns -and in a different tone, the one beginning where the other leaves off. -They are to keep opposite each other on different sides of the street, -each singing his own misfortunes; they may afterwards divide their -profits as they please.</p> - -<p>7. It is permitted that a beggar wear an old dish-clout round his head -in winter instead of a bonnet, that while he is protected from the cold, -he may at the same time appear an invalid. He is likewise at liberty to -walk with crutches, or to have one leg tied up behind him.</p> - -<p>8. Every beggar may have a purse and a pocket, but must receive alms in -their hats only.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_135" id="page_135"></a>{135}</span></p> - -<p>9. We command, that no beggar be so indiscreet as to divulge any of the -mysteries of our trade to any but such as belong to our Society.</p> - -<p>10. Should any beggar be so fortunate as to discover any new trick in -the art of begging, he shall be obliged to communicate the same to the -company, which ought to enjoy in common the benefit arising from the -genius of any of its members. As a recompence, however, to the inventor, -and to stimulate his genius to new discoveries, we decree that he have -an exclusive privilege to make the most of his device for three months; -during which time we peremptorily forbid any other belonging to our -fraternity from interfering with his practice, under pain of -confiscating to his use all the profits that may be derived therefrom.</p> - -<p>11. We exhort the members of this Society freely and faithfully to make -known to each other all the houses<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_136" id="page_136"></a>{136}</span> where they know that either private -or public alms are likely to be dispensed; especially those in which -gaming or courting is going forward, for in such places large receipts -are certain.</p> - -<p>12. We command, that no beggar presume to keep or lead about with him -any hunting, setting, or other dogs; blind men only being allowed to be -conducted by a little cur with a string round its neck. This prohibition -is not meant to extend to such of our fraternity as may chance to -possess dogs of talent. These may be allowed to exhibit their -performances as usual, by making their dogs dance or jump through hoops; -but they must not presume to take their station at a church-door, where -other beggars of the Society may be assembled, on account of the great -advantage they will have over them.</p> - -<p>13. We command, that no beggar venture to buy meat or fish in the -market<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_137" id="page_137"></a>{137}</span> on his own account, except in a case of extreme necessity, as -very ill consequences may arise from so doing.</p> - -<p>14. We permit all such beggars as have no children of their own to hire -as many as four to lead about with them into the churches on festivals; -these should not be above five years old, and, if possible, should -appear to be twins. If a female conduct them, she should never fail to -have one always at her breast; and if a man, he must be sure to carry -one on his arm, and lead the other by the hand.</p> - -<p>15. We command, that those beggars who have any children, instruct them, -up to the age of six years, in the best mode of making collections in -churches; that, after having taught them to ask charity for their father -and mother who lie on their beds at home most dangerously ill, they -allow them to go alone, though it were better not entirely to lose sight -of them. As soon, however, as these children<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_138" id="page_138"></a>{138}</span> shall have attained their -seventh year, we command that they be left to shift for themselves, as -being already majors, and that their parents be content to restrict and -compel them to return home at stipulated hours.</p> - -<p>16. Beggars of the old stamp, who consider it a point of honor to walk -in the footsteps of their ancestors who have trained them to the -profession of begging, will never allow their children to take any other -trade than their own, nor to degrade themselves by entering into the -service of any one; and if these children wish to be thought worthy of -their parents, they will hold every other condition in abhorrence.</p> - -<p>17. Although Idleness be the principal divinity worshipped by us -beggars, we, nevertheless, think proper to prescribe certain hours of -rising. Every one should dress and turn out by seven o’clock in winter, -and by five in summer, or even sooner, if he feel so disposed;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_139" id="page_139"></a>{139}</span> and -should be in bed again by the same hour in the evening, except on -extraordinary occasions, and according to the directions of the veterans -of the Society.</p> - -<p>18. Be for ever declared infamous, and banished from our Society, all -such as shall presume to steal, harbour stolen goods, strip little -children, or commit any such villanies.</p> - -<p>19. As it is our wish that all young persons who embark in our -profession be treated favorably, we will and ordain, that, for the -future, any brother who shall have attained the age of twelve years -shall be obliged to pass a noviciate of three years only instead of -five; and we insist that after the said term of three years he be -considered a graduate in the profession, and as a subject who has duly -complied with and fulfilled all the laws of our institution.</p> - -<p>20. At the same time we require of the said brother that he make oath -never<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_140" id="page_140"></a>{140}</span> to desert our Society, but continue attached to it, and never -think of withdrawing himself from our service without our especial -leave; promising to pay due submission and obedience to our statutes, -under pain of our highest displeasure.</p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XXIII" id="CHAP_XXIII"></a>CHAP. XXIII.<br /><br /> -<i>Of the disagreeable adventure poor Guzman met with, while begging in the City of Rome during the heat of the day.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">In</span> addition to these laws, this famous doctor in the art communicated to -me others which he told me had been established by the most celebrated -beggars of Italy, and particularly by the renowned<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_141" id="page_141"></a>{141}</span> Albert, surnamed -<i>Messer Morcon</i>—in other words, Mr. Big-guts—who was looked upon as -Generalissimo of the Beggars at Rome. In truth, he well deserved that -title, and even that of Prince of the Beggars, or rather the Archbeggar, -of Christendom.</p> - -<p>He was worthy to be Emperor of the Idlers, as well on account of his -appearance as of his manners and understanding. He would devour at a -single meal the whole of the tripe and trotters of two good sheep, a -cow’s udder, and ten pounds of bread, not to mention the scraps that he -collected, which he generally applied solely to his own use. He would -drink in proportion. It is true that he alone would scrape up as much in -begging as ten of the most deformed and crippled of our Society; but -then he had occasion for all this, as I before told you; for although he -consumed every scrap that was given him, and spent all his money in -drink, he was frequently<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_142" id="page_142"></a>{142}</span> obliged to have recourse to the larders of -other beggars, who, considering themselves his vassals, were always well -pleased to contribute to his subsistence. He never seemed satisfied -either with wine or victuals. He always went, both summer and winter, -open breasted, and never wore either shirt or stockings. His head was -always bare, his chin always well shaved, and his skin was as white and -shining as if it had been rubbed with lard.</p> - -<p>Among other rules made by this famous <i>Messer Morcon</i> during his reign, -there is one which is well worth repeating: he ordained that every -beggar should sleep on the ground, without either mattress or pillow, -and that they should leave off begging every day as soon as they had -gained sufficient for the day’s necessities; for, said he, a true beggar -ought to depend entirely upon Providence, and think not of the morrow.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_143" id="page_143"></a>{143}</span></p> - -<p>I got all the laws of begging by heart, but was content to observe the -most essential only. Nevertheless, as I was ambitious to distinguish -myself in every profession I embraced, I was frequently tempted to run -risks which turned out neither to my honor nor profit. An unlucky -adventure of this description occurred to me one day in the month of -September. The day was oppressively hot; I happened to go out between -one and two o’clock, to beg from door to door in the streets of Rome, -imagining that every one who saw me begging at such a time would be sure -to think I must be half starved, and that I should not fail to have -either victuals or money given me on that account. In vain, however, did -I range the principal quarter of the city, making the air resound with -my lamentations; I met with nothing but repulses and reproaches.</p> - -<p>I repaired to another quarter, hoping to find hearts more sensible to my -cries.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_144" id="page_144"></a>{144}</span> I knocked at a door with my stick, but as I obtained no answer, -I repeated my strokes very loudly three or four times; but just as I had -made up my mind not to budge until I had made myself heard, a -kitchen-boy appeared at one of the upper windows, who seemed to be -washing dishes, and, as a reward for my obstinacy, poured down a -cauldron of boiling water on my head, and immediately <i>afterwards</i> cried -out, <i>Scaldings! look to yourself below there!</i></p> - -<p>As soon as I felt myself baptized in this hot manner, I set up so -frightful a yell, and made such grimaces, that I gathered a great crowd -round me in a moment. Some few blamed the kitchen-boy; but all the rest -told me that I was much in the wrong to presume thus to disturb -gentlefolks who were asleep, and that if I did not feel inclined for -sleep myself, I ought not at least to wake others. Some among them -pitied me, and, to console me for my unlucky accident,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_145" id="page_145"></a>{145}</span> put a few sous -in my hand, with which I withdrew, intending to go home and dry myself. -“Admirable!” thought I, in my own way home. “Wilt thou never be content -with what is needful for thee? what demon tempted thee to do what others -of thy calling never venture to attempt?”</p> - -<p>I was already very near my own lodgings, when a neighbour, who was one -of the oldest of our fraternity, called me into a cellar where he -resided, and, seating me on a three-legged stool, asked me where the -devil I had come from, what bath I had just left, and who had made me in -such a pickle? When I related my adventure he laughed most heartily. -This old man was a native of Cordova, born, trained up, and destined to -die in the profession of begging. “My poor Guzman,” said he, “I fear -much you will be a simpleton all your life; the blood is too hot in your -veins; you seem to wish to be master before<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_146" id="page_146"></a>{146}</span> you have served your -apprenticeship. Do you not see your folly in violating our customs? But, -as we are both from the same country, and your extreme youth is some -sort of excuse for you, I will endeavour to point out your duty to you -more clearly. In the first place, my friend, know that nobody ever gives -alms at Rome in the afternoon. The citizens as well as the people of -quality always take a nap at that time of the day; and you are sure only -to displease by waking them or disturbing their slumbers. When a beggar -has howled twice, in a supplicating tone, at the door of a house, -without seeing any one, it is a sign that the people of the house do not -chuse to be seen, and, consequently, the best way is to be gone without -further loss of time. Be not so imprudent as to open a door that you -find shut, still less to enter the house; ask whatever you want from the -street, for fear of the dogs of the house, who can easily distinguish us -from other<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_147" id="page_147"></a>{147}</span> men, and who, considering us their rivals, have a natural -antipathy towards us.</p> - -<p>“One of the best pieces of advice that I can give you,” continued he, -“is by reminding you that you are a Spaniard. This supposes in you a -disposition always ready to treat with rudeness all such as withhold -their charity; thus, when you address yourself to one of these -ill-disposed rich ones, who not only make it a rule never to assist us, -but will also reproach us most bitterly for our idleness, recollect that -you should always answer their hard-hearted treatment with words full of -softness and humility. Another piece of good advice: should you by -chance, which has happened to me at least a hundred times in my life, -approach a cavalier who, just as you implore his charity, takes off his -glove and puts his hand in his pocket, I do not forbid you to feel -rejoiced at such an action; but if you afterwards discover<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_148" id="page_148"></a>{148}</span> that it was -only with the intention of drawing out his handkerchief, do not venture -to testify chagrin at your disappointment, nor growl at him, for there -may chance to be another gentleman near him who might have intended to -relieve you, had not your grumbling prevented his design.”</p> - -<p>After the old Cordovan had given me these political precepts, he taught -me how I might raise a pretended leprosy and ulcers; how a leg might be -swelled; how I might make an arm appear dislocated, and render my face -paler than death itself. In short, he possessed a thousand curious -secrets, which he was so kind as to communicate to me, not more out of -friendship for me, as he told me, than from the fear that he might leave -this world for the other without having bequeathed them to any one. In -fact, he died a few days after this conversation.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_149" id="page_149"></a>{149}</span></p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XXIV" id="CHAP_XXIV"></a>CHAP. XXIV.<br /><br /> -<i>Of the agreeable life Guzman continued to lead with his Comrades. An account of his Journey to Gaeta. History of a Beggar who died at Florence.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Notwithstanding</span> the disposition recommended by the tenth statute of our -laws, I did not think proper to communicate to my comrades the secrets -of the Cordovan, who had revealed them to none but myself; nevertheless -we all lived together in perfect union. We frequently met together of an -evening to the number of ten or twelve, and passed our time in -practising and inventing new exclamations to excite pity. There were -even some among us who discovered new forms of benediction which they -got a livelihood by, and which they sold to the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_150" id="page_150"></a>{150}</span> others, who were always -willing to purchase them on account of their novelty.</p> - -<p>On festival-days we would be up betimes and run to the churches where -indulgences were dispensed, that we might secure the best places, by -being as near as we could to the <i>Holy Water</i>, or at the entrance of the -Chapel near the <i>Station</i>,—which is the place set apart for penitents -to stand and recite the prayers prescribed for them. Thus were our -mornings employed, and towards night we generally left the City to make -an excursion into the villages in the environs, as well as the farms and -country-seats, whence we seldom returned without being well laden with -abundance of lard, bread, eggs and cheese; sometimes with a good -collection of old clothes, so well did we know how to excite the -compassion of the good folks in the country. If on the road we saw any -person of distinction coming towards us, the instant we perceived him at -a distance, we set up a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_151" id="page_151"></a>{151}</span> concert of plaintive voices imploring his -charity, that he might have abundance of time to put his hand in his -pocket, otherwise he might have passed on without stopping.</p> - -<p>When we had to meet a number of citizens together, and had time to -prepare for it, we would every one of us act a different character; one -would halt as if he were lame, another would counterfeit blindness; a -third would carry one arm in a sling, another would affect dumbness; a -fifth would distort his mouth or his legs, and a sixth would walk on -crutches; in a word, we every one of us performed a different part, -taking care to place the most skilful amongst us at our head, to render -the scene more affecting.</p> - -<p>You would have been well amused had you but heard the various -benedictions we employed to extract the marrow from their purses. We -prayed that God would give them children, prosper their commerce, and -bless them with good health;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_152" id="page_152"></a>{152}</span> such wishes as these were scarcely ever -thrown away. There never was a party of pleasure or an entertainment of -any sort going forward, but we were sure to smell it out and pick up -something; and we never failed to repair, in small numbers at a time, to -such places, where we always got as much as we could eat. The hotels of -Bishops, Cardinals, Ambassadors, all the great houses were open to us, -and we frequented them by turns: thus we partook of every thing, though -we possessed nothing.</p> - -<p>I know not how my comrades felt affected when they chanced to receive -alms from the hand of a pretty woman; for myself, miserable sinner, when -a young female approached me whose figure I admired, I could not refrain -from leering upon her with an amorous look when I implored her charity. -If she herself gave me money, I pressed her hand tenderly in my own, and -kissed it before I allowed it to escape. But I always committed<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_153" id="page_153"></a>{153}</span> this -rash action with so respectful, or rather so hypocritical an air, that -the lady, not suspecting that it was merely for my own gratification, -always considered this insolence as a transport of gratitude.</p> - -<p>The pleasures of this world, which have been thought to be the share of -the rich and great only, may much more reasonably be said to fall to the -lot of us beggars, who enjoy the sweets of life with more freedom, more -relish, and tranquillity. Even though beggars had no other advantage -than that of begging and receiving without either embarrassment or -shame, they enjoy therein a privilege which none of the rest of mankind -possess, sovereigns only excepted, who also beg of their people without -blushing: but the difference between them is, that sovereigns often make -poor folks contribute to their wants, while beggars seldom ask of any -but such as are richer than themselves. There is evidently then no -condition of life more happy than that of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_154" id="page_154"></a>{154}</span> a beggar, and fortunate were -it, indeed, if every one could know when he is so well off. The greater -number of my comrades, however, were so entirely engrossed with -delicacies of animal life, that one half of their felicity was actually -thrown away: they did not reflect how sweet it was to live independent, -without the dread of law-suits or the fear that their money was badly -applied: to be unaffected by the intrigues of state, by the uncertainty -of business and speculation, or by the numberless mischances and -embarrassments to which every other man is constantly subject. The first -man who embraced this mode of life must, doubtless, have been a great -philosopher.</p> - -<p>I would willingly have believed beggars entirely free from the control -of Fortune, did not that malicious goddess take pleasure in occasionally -showing her power over them, by subjecting them to little disgraces, as -well as others. Of this nature was what happened to me in<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_155" id="page_155"></a>{155}</span> the town of -Gaeta, whither I went out of curiosity, imagining that a man like me, -who might now be reckoned skilful in my trade, would have no sooner -entered the place, than alms would shower down as thick as hail upon -him. The instant I arrived there I covered my head with a false scab, -which I knew well how to counterfeit, and placed myself at the door of a -church. The governor of the town happened to pass by me, and after -having looked at me for some time with attention, gave me alms. A -considerable number of the inhabitants of both sexes followed his -example, and this good luck lasted for several days; but covetousness, -as the saying is, at last bursts the bag. On the next festival-day, -thinking that my pretended scabby head was too old a trick, I determined -to make myself an ulcer on my leg, and soon raised one by making use of -one of the secrets the old Cordovan had revealed to me.</p> - -<p>Having prepared all that was necessary<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_156" id="page_156"></a>{156}</span> to dress up my leg so as to -yield me a good harvest, I posted myself in the best situation at the -door of another church, where I immediately began to writhe myself about -and howl, as if I had been exceedingly afflicted by my ulcer, so as to -attract the notice of every one that passed by me; and though my healthy -countenance was sufficient to have belied my complaints (for I had -neglected to manufacture a pale face on the occasion), and have created -suspicion, yet I found that my apparently distressing situation excited -the compassion of many; for these charitable folks did not examine so -accurately as to detect me, and I in consequence received individually -greater contributions than all the other beggars who were there, who -wished me and my ulcer at the devil.</p> - -<p>Unluckily, however, the aforementioned governor chanced to come to hear -mass at this church, and had no sooner listened to me for a moment than -he recognized<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_157" id="page_157"></a>{157}</span> me by my voice. He could not otherwise have possibly -recollected me, for my head was completely covered with a large napkin -which descended to my nose; but he was a man of experience who had seen -a great deal of the world; and as soon as he espied me I knew well that -he said to himself, “It cannot be four days since I saw and relieved -this same fellow; can he possibly have been afflicted since that time -with so bad an ulcer on his leg? there must be some roguery in this -affair, and it is incumbent on me to inquire further into it:” “My -friend,” said he, addressing himself to me, “I am much affected by your -miserable situation; follow me home and I will give you a good shirt.”</p> - -<p>I was so imprudent as to obey him, without the slightest suspicion of -his design upon me; for had I in the least guessed at it I should soon -have forced my way through his servants, and disappointed him of the -punishment he had<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_158" id="page_158"></a>{158}</span> devised for me. Having arrived at his house, I did -not presage much good when he looked at me with earnestness, and then -demanded of me in a severe tone if I was not the same person whom he had -seen a few days since at a church door with a bad head. I turned pale at -this question, and could not muster impudence enough to answer in the -negative, whereupon he insisted on seeing my head, and not perceiving -the least appearance of disorder: “Tell me,” said he, “by what singular -remedy you can possibly have cured yourself so perfectly in the short -space of four days, and how you can have so inveterate an ulcer on your -leg accompanied with so ruddy a complexion:” “Sir,” replied I; so -disconcerted that I knew not what I said,—“I know not: but God was -pleased that it should be so.”</p> - -<p>I was still more troubled when I heard him desire one of his servants to -run for a surgeon. I knew well what was preparing<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_159" id="page_159"></a>{159}</span> for me, and should -soon have made an attempt to escape, if I had not observed that the door -was locked; but as such was the case I was obliged to submit. At length -the surgeon arrived, and examined my leg most attentively, and, skilful -as he was, would very probably have been deceived, had not the governor -communicated to him in a whisper the reasons he had for thinking me an -impostor; after this the surgeon had but little trouble in discovering -the truth: he examined the ulcer afresh, and then declared, with an air -of importance and sagacity, that I had no more ailment in my leg than he -himself had in his eye: “Bring me some hot water,” said he, “and I will -prove clearly what I assert.” This was soon supplied; the surgeon rubbed -and washed my leg, which became in an instant so clean and healthful, -that I dared not utter a syllable in defence of my knavery.</p> - -<p>The governor, thinking that he was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_160" id="page_160"></a>{160}</span> bound to reward me for my address, -gave me the shirt he had been so kind as to promise, which was fitted on -my back in a moment by one of his lusty servants, who applied thirty -hearty lashes by his master’s directions, by way of recompence for my -journey. After which I was ordered to leave the town immediately, with -the promise that I should be doubly remunerated if I ever ventured to -make my appearance in it again. This was a very superfluous prohibition, -for the pleasant treatment I had met with in Gaeta was of itself quite -sufficient to divest me of all desire of visiting that place again. I -left this cursed town therefore without further delay, shrugging up my -shoulders all the way I went, until I arrived once more in the Pope’s -territories. I greeted my dear Rome with a thousand blessings as I -entered it, and no sooner saw it at a distance than tears of joy -trickled from my eyes, and I could not refrain from wishing my arms long -enough to have embraced it.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_161" id="page_161"></a>{161}</span></p> - -<p>I soon rejoined my old comrades, but took good care not to communicate -my late disgrace to them: had they known it, I should never have heard -the last of my flogging adventure at Gaeta, which would have been an -everlasting joke against me. I told them that I had merely taken a trip -out of curiosity to some of the neighbouring villages; but that I had -found by experience that, there was no place like Rome for persons of -our calling. I must indeed have been half mad when I thought of leaving -this blessed city, where we all lived so well, never failing to collect -daily as much money as we wanted. Every fowl fills its crop by a single -grain at a time. In like manner we accumulated our money; and after -having converted it into gold, we carried it about with us sewed to our -garments under rags, which frequently concealed a sufficient sum to buy -a complete new suit. We might be said to have been stitched up with<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_162" id="page_162"></a>{162}</span> -gold; and there were some few old rascals among us who were worth a very -considerable sum which they always carried about their persons. Persons -of our class generally possess the vices of avarice and cruelty in the -highest degree. I will illustrate this assertion by relating to you a -very singular example in the history of a beggar of my own acquaintance, -which is well worth the recital.</p> - -<p>A poor beggar, named <i>Pantalon Castello</i>, a native of Genoa, having -married at Florence, had one son by his wife whom he intended so to -establish in life as to render it unnecessary for him either to work, or -go into service to obtain his livelihood: with this view, taking -advantage of the facility with which the delicate members of a new born -infant may be dislocated, he determined on the barbarity of crippling -his own child. Perchance, reader, you will feel inclined to stop me -here, to tell me that this is by no means extraordinary among beggars.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_163" id="page_163"></a>{163}</span> -I am ready to allow, that beggars of every nation in the world are in -the habit of availing themselves of such inhuman means to excite -compassion: but our <i>Pantalon</i>, like a true Genoese, was willing to -surpass all his predecessors in this point, and disfigured his poor son -so dreadfully that there was scarcely such another monster in the world. -This unfortunate child, who, with the exception of his arms and tongue, -which had not been touched, was deformed all over, was no sooner out of -his infancy, than he began to exhibit himself through the streets in a -kind of cage, on a little ass which he guided with his own hands.</p> - -<p>If, however, his body had but little of the human form in it, by way of -amends he had a great deal of wit, which shone the more brilliantly as -he advanced in age. His repartees were so pleasant and so much to the -purpose, that he was the admiration of all who knew him, and received -great alms, which he owed no<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_164" id="page_164"></a>{164}</span> less to his facetious and good natured -manner, than to the compassion excited by his unfortunate person. -Deformed and ugly as he was, however, he lived until seventy two years -of age, after which he fell sick; and knowing well that his illness must -be fatal, he began to reflect on his past life, and sent for a -confessor, a pious and learned man, with whom he was acquainted. Having -discoursed with him about all his affairs as well spiritual as temporal, -he called in a Notary, to whom he indited his will in the following -terms: <i>I recommend my soul to God who created it, and my body to the -earth, and I wish to be interred in my own parish</i>.</p> - -<p><i>Item, I desire that my ass be sold, and that the money accruing -therefrom be employed in defraying the expenses of my burial. As for the -pack-saddle, I bequeath it to the Grand Duke my Lord, to whom it of -right belongs, and whom I hereby nominate executor to this my will, and -universal heir to my property.</i><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_165" id="page_165"></a>{165}</span></p> - -<p>This beggar died a few days after, and his Will being made public, -became the talk of the city of Florence. As every one had known him to -be a merry-conceited fellow all his life, it was the general opinion -that he had hoped, by this seeming burlesque, to make folks laugh at him -even after his death. But the Duke somewhat differed from them; for -having frequently heard of the testator and his pleasantries, he -suspected there might be some mystery in it. To unravel it, therefore, -he ordered the pack-saddle which was bequeathed to him to be brought to -his Palace, where he caused it to be unripped in the presence of the -whole court, who were not a little surprised at discovering in it -several pieces of gold of all kinds, to the value of three thousand six -hundred crowns, of four hundred maravedis each. It came afterwards to be -known that it was by the advice of his Confessor that he had thus -disposed of his property, which the Grand<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_166" id="page_166"></a>{166}</span> Duke, like a just and pious -Prince, made a good use of, by employing the whole of it in founding a -perpetual Mass to be said for the testator’s soul.</p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XXV" id="CHAP_XXV"></a>CHAP. XXV.<br /><br /> -<i>How Guzman excited the compassion of a Cardinal, and what followed.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Having</span> risen one fine morning betimes, as was usual with me, I seated -myself at the gate of a Cardinal who passed for one of the most -charitable men in Rome, having first taken great pains to swell and -dress up one of my legs into an ulcer, which might have deceived the -most skilful surgeons. I had not, on this occasion, forgotten to make my -face as pale as possible, for I should have been inexcusable indeed had -I committed the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_167" id="page_167"></a>{167}</span> same fault twice. I began begging in the most dolorous -tone that my voice was capable of, and several of the servants who were -passing in and out were much affected by my plaintive moans: but this -was merely practising for the game I had in view. It was the pity of -their master that I hoped to excite, who no sooner made his appearance -than I redoubled my cries and complaints, addressing him in these words: -“O noble Christian! friend of Jesus Christ! take pity on a poor -afflicted sinner, diseased and crippled in the flower of his age; be -pleased, your Eminence, to take compassion on my misery, and praised be -the passion of our Redeemer.”</p> - -<p>The Cardinal, who was a holy man, stopped to listen to me; and hoping to -please the Lord in extending his charity towards me, he turned to his -domestics, saying, “Take this poor wretch in your arms, and convey him -into my chamber; there let these rags be taken from off<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_168" id="page_168"></a>{168}</span> him, furnish -him with clean linen, lay him in my own bed, and have another prepared -for me in the next apartment.” These orders were instantly obeyed. O -charity which may serve for an example to other prelates, who in general -consider Heaven as indebted to them, when they pay the slightest -attention to the misery of the poor! The Cardinal did not stop here, but -sent for two of the most celebrated surgeons in Rome, desiring them to -examine my leg, and do every thing in their power to cure it; and after -having promised to reward them well for their trouble, he left them to -their own proceedings.</p> - -<p>On the faith of this promise, the surgeons immediately began to inspect -my ulcer, which at first seemed to them incurable. Mortification seemed -already to have taken place. This was occasioned, however, by nothing -but the herbs I had applied, and could only last for a certain time, -after which, by omitting the application,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_169" id="page_169"></a>{169}</span> my leg would have been -restored to its natural healthy state. They then threw off their cloaks, -drew out their cases, and ordered some fire to be brought them in a -chaffing-dish, some fine white linen, and some eggs and milk. While all -these things were preparing, they began to question me concerning my -disorder, how long I had been afflicted with it, and if I knew how I -first came by it? if I drank any wine? what I was accustomed to eat? In -short, they asked me all the questions usual with persons of their -profession on such occasions, to which I was not able to answer a word, -so dreadfully frightened was I at the terrible preparations that were -making before my eyes. I knew not what Saint I could presume to implore, -for I could not flatter myself that there was one to be found in Heaven -willing to intercede for such a knave as myself. I began to reflect on -what had so recently happened to me at Gaeta, and could scarcely hope<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_170" id="page_170"></a>{170}</span> -to escape in this instance with so slight a punishment.</p> - -<p>The surgeons, after having turned my leg in all directions twenty times -over, retired into another chamber, to discourse together, and -communicate their observations to each other more privately. I was -terribly alarmed as to what would be the result of this consultation, -not knowing but they might decide on cutting my leg off. I leaped -straightway out of bed, therefore, to follow and listen to them, fully -resolving to confess the truth, if I should find they had determined -upon amputation. I approached the door, and while I listened most -attentively to their conversation, heard one of these sages say to the -other: “We may make a good job of this, brother, if we can understand -each other; the leg is dreadfully inflamed, and must take a long time to -cure.” “You certainly must be jesting,” answered the other, “there is no -more inflammation on that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_171" id="page_171"></a>{171}</span> leg than on my hand: it is a description of -disorder which I am sure I can convince you may be removed in less than -two days.” “Do not believe it,” replied he who had first spoken; “by St. -Comas, I flatter myself I have some knowledge in ulcers, and I do -maintain that this is a decided mortification.” “No, no,” retorted the -other; “believe me, our patient is an arrant rogue, and has no real -disorder whatever to complain of; I know well enough how a sham ulcer -may be raised, for I have often met with similar cases, and can even -tell you the herbs this impostor has made use of to reduce his leg into -its present apparently diseased state.”</p> - -<p>The surgeon who had been my dupe was quite abashed at these words; but -thinking that it concerned his reputation to persist in his first -assertion, he would not yield to his comrade’s opinion. The dispute -would have grown very hot between them, had not the second surgeon<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_172" id="page_172"></a>{172}</span> been -politic enough to terminate it by entreating his brother to examine the -leg afresh. “Just inspect it again,” said he, “and you will no longer -doubt the deception.” “Willingly,” replied the other; “and if I find the -ulcer such as you have affirmed, I will readily yield to your judgment.” -“That is not enough,” replied the former; “in acknowledging your error, -you must also agree that I deserve to have a greater share of the -profits than you.” “By no means,” cried his companion; “do not take so -much merit to yourself for such a discovery, which I might have made -without your assistance. I insist that we share equally whatever fees -his Eminence may give us.” They disputed afresh on this point, and their -quarrel grew so high that they came at length to the resolution of -laying the full particulars of the case before the Cardinal.</p> - -<p>When I found how things were likely to end, I hesitated no longer, but -entered<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_173" id="page_173"></a>{173}</span> the room suddenly, threw myself at their feet, and with tears -in my eyes, (for I had a peculiar talent in being able to cry when I -would) addressed them in these words:—“Take compassion, my dear -gentlemen, on one who is but a man like yourselves. You well know that -the rich are so hard-hearted now-a-days, that it is impossible for the -poor to excite their pity, otherwise than by covering themselves with -wounds and sores, and that it is but seldom that we can obtain any thing -but the most miserable pittance even by these means. What can you gain -by discovering my knavery? you will lose the reward which has been -promised you, which cannot escape you if you can consent that we all -three concert matters together. You may safely venture to place -confidence in me, for the fear of punishment will insure my discretion.”</p> - -<p>The surgeons, after a little reflection, made up their minds to profit -by this<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_174" id="page_174"></a>{174}</span> opportunity of touching the Cardinal’s money. This was no -sooner agreed than we returned to his Eminence’s chamber, where they -seated me on a chair, and began to re-examine my leg, which they -plastered up with the drugs they considered most likely to make the sore -last as it was. They then bound it up, and wrapped a napkin round it, -and, observing the Cardinal enter the room at that very instant, took me -up in their arms to keep up appearances, and placed me on the bed again. -His Eminence, who was extremely uneasy on account of my ulcer, inquired -about it immediately. “My Lord,” said one of the surgeons with a grave -countenance, “this poor lad’s situation is truly pitiable; his leg is -already mortified; we trust, however, that with God’s assistance, we may -be able to do something for him, but his cure must be the work of time.” -“It is most fortunate for him,” said the other surgeon, “that he has -this day fallen<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_175" id="page_175"></a>{175}</span> into our hands; one day more must have proved fatal; -and Heaven had certainly ordained that his life should be saved by -sending him to the door of your Eminence.”</p> - -<p>The Cardinal was extremely pleased at this report, and told them that -they might take as much time as they pleased, provided they cured me in -the end. He besought them afresh to neglect nothing that might -contribute to my recovery, promising that he would see that I should be -well treated in his house. They assured him that his confidence should -not be misplaced, and that they would not fail, one or other of them, to -call and see me twice a day; for that it would be necessary for them to -consult together upon the slightest change that might take place in my -disorder. After this they withdrew, and left me more at ease in my mind; -for to this moment I had been very suspicious of these two treacherous -rascals, lest they should expose my<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_176" id="page_176"></a>{176}</span> knavery while they pretended to be -accomplices. These unconscionable dogs obliged me to keep my chamber for -three months, which appeared three ages to me, so difficult is it to -lose the desire for gaming and begging. In vain did I lie in a fine bed; -in vain did I fare like his Eminence himself; nothing could recompense -me for such confinement. At length, I pressed, I tormented my surgeons -so eternally to bring this comedy to an end, that they were obliged at -last to yield to my importunities. They left my ulcer, therefore, to -take its course, and when they found that my leg was restored to its -natural state, acquainted the good Cardinal with it, who was quite -astonished at so wonderful a cure, and dismissed these quacks, after -having paid them much more than they deserved. His Eminence had been so -kind as to pay me several visits during the course of my pretended -illness. I had frequent conversations with this holy prelate, who<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_177" id="page_177"></a>{177}</span> -having discovered in me a sort of wit which pleased him, had taken a -great fancy to me. As a proof of which he proposed and seemed to wish to -take me into his service, among the number of his pages; an honour which -was too gratifying to me to think of refusing.</p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XXVI" id="CHAP_XXVI"></a>CHAP. XXVI.<br /><br /> -<i>Guzman becomes page to the Cardinal, and commits a thousand mischievous tricks in his service.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Thus</span> did I all of a sudden become a page. This was in truth a fine leap -for me, although between knave and page there is no difference but their -dress, for their propensities are precisely the same; it served, -however, to amuse me, and prevented my growing idle, though I felt<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_178" id="page_178"></a>{178}</span> like -a fish out of water in my new employment. As a beggar I was in my -element; accustomed to the soups of Egypt, I felt myself at home no -where but in the tavern. I was, therefore, by no means pleased by the -life I led in this house, where every thing was regulated by rule and -compass; where at one time I was employed with a flambeau in my hand -running up or down stairs, to light our visitors as they entered or left -the house, and at another was obliged to dance attendance in the -ante-chamber, kicking my heels there for about two hours, until I -received my orders. Always in readiness to follow carriages by night as -well as by day, or to wait at table and devour with my eyes only all the -dishes that were served up; in a word, it was necessary for me to be at -hand on all occasions, and that not for a few days only, but from the -first day of January to the last of December.</p> - -<p>Ah! miserable slave, you will naturally<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_179" id="page_179"></a>{179}</span> say, what profit could you -possibly derive during a year of so much trouble? alas! I must answer, I -was servant to every body; a fine coat was certainly given me, but that -not so much for my own use as my lord’s honour. I got nothing in this -service but the itch and severe colds, except some ends of flambeaux -which I stole and sold to the cobblers; and it was necessary to be very -cautious to commit even these little thefts with impunity. Woe to us -pages if we were ever caught in the fact; we were sure to get well -lashed. Besides the pieces of wax that we cut off the flambeaux, we -sometimes lay our hands upon some tit-bits that were served up at table, -which we ate in private. But such tricks as these required more -dexterity than was possessed by any of my comrades; and a pretty -accident befel one of these silly fellows. As he was clearing away the -dishes after having waited at table, he thought proper to steal some<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_180" id="page_180"></a>{180}</span> -honey fritters, which he wrapped up hastily in his handkerchief, and -crammed into his pocket. The fritters being very hot, and pent up in so -close a place, began to discharge their honey, which ran all down the -poor page’s leg. Ill-luck directed the Cardinal’s eyes that way, who, -guessing at first sight what it was, began to laugh most heartily. -“Page,” said he, addressing himself to this simpleton, “I perceive blood -trickling down your legs; are you any where wounded?” At this question, -all the company, which was very numerous, and even the servants, turned -about to look at the culprit’s leg, and the poor devil of a page stood -confused and mortified, knowing that his crime was discovered. Happy for -him had he been let off for the shame of enduring the extreme laughter -which he excited, but he paid much more dearly the next day for his -fritters, the honey of which was but sour to him.</p> - -<p>Most of my other comrades were as<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_181" id="page_181"></a>{181}</span> green as this one when I was first -received among them; and as I could not refrain from following my old -habits, I employed myself in robbing them of whatever they had worth -stealing, in spite of all the pains they took to secure themselves from -my clutches. This soon taught them to be rather more vigilant. Our -master kept, in a closet adjoining his own bed-chamber, a large chest, -filled with all sorts of dried sweetmeats, which he was extremely fond -of. In this chest, among other things, were prunes from Genoa, -bergamot-pears from Aranjuez, melons from Grenada, citrons from Seville, -oranges from Placentia, lemons from Murcia, cucumbers from Valencia, -love-apples from Toledo, peaches from Arragon, and raisins from Malaga. -In short, the most delicious sweetmeats and dried fruits of every -description were to be found in this enviable chest, which never failed -to make my mouth water whenever his Eminence gave me the key<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_182" id="page_182"></a>{182}</span> to get -some out for him. On such occasions, however, he always took good care -to be present himself, distrusting, as I supposed, my thieving -disposition. I was much mortified at this suspicion, which only served -to excite my desire, which was already strong enough, to have a taste of -these fine preserves, and not being able any longer to resist the -temptation, I thought of nothing but the means of gratifying my -inclination. The chest was about a yard wide, and two yards and a half -long, and had only one lock in the middle. Seeing this, I procured a -wooden wedge, and raised a corner of the lid, by which means I made an -opening large enough to admit my arm; but as I could then only choose -such sweetmeats as lay within my reach, I fastened a hook to the end of -a long stick, with the assistance of which I had the pleasure of picking -and choosing where I pleased. Thus I made myself<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_183" id="page_183"></a>{183}</span> complete master of the -chest without having the key of it.</p> - -<p>Notwithstanding the great quantity of fruits in the chest, my stick was -so frequently at work that they began to diminish apace. The Cardinal -observed large holes here and there, which did not much please him; but -one day being desirous to taste a very fine citron which he had taken -particular notice of the preceding evening, what was his astonishment -when he found it flown? He summoned his principal officers before him, -and told them he was determined to know which of his domestics had been -so insolent as to open his chest and touch the fruits he so much prized, -charging his major-domo, a sour ill-natured priest, to leave no stone -unturned to find out the thief. Suspicion fell upon the pages, and we -were ordered to assemble in the hall, where we were searched, one after -another; but to no purpose were our pockets ransacked, in vain were we<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_184" id="page_184"></a>{184}</span> -threatened, for I had long ere this not only eaten the citron but -digested it.</p> - -<p>This affair soon blew over, and no more was said of it. The Cardinal, -however, had not forgotten it, and I was obliged to be so much on my -guard that I did not venture to pay another visit to my favourite chest, -even to look at it, for several days. This vexed me exceedingly; for I -had acquired a particular relish for his Eminence’s sweetmeats, and so -far from thinking of giving them up, was waiting anxiously for the first -opportunity of having another touch at them. One day, therefore, while -the Cardinal was engaged at play with some other Cardinals after dinner, -I doubted not that I should have abundance of leisure to resort to my -old sport again. Quite confident of this, I ran for my tools, which I -had hid in a snug place, and glided into the closet without being -perceived by any one. Scarcely had I raised the lid and thrust in my -arm, when his Eminence<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_185" id="page_185"></a>{185}</span> entered the chamber, and finding neither of his -pages there, assisted himself to what he wanted. I heard him, and -endeavoured to release my arm with so much haste and fear that I struck -the wedge out with my elbow, and the lid fell on my arm, so that I was -caught like a bird in a trap. The Cardinal, hearing the noise, began to -be alarmed for his sweetmeats, and entered the closet immediately, where -he found me in this ludicrous situation: “Ah! ah! friend Guzman,” cried -he, “is it then you who rob me of my sweetmeats?” The grimaces that I -made at finding myself so fairly caught were so ridiculous that he could -not restrain his laughter. He even called the other Cardinals that they -might enjoy my confusion, who left off playing and ran up immediately; -and after they had diverted themselves for some time at my expence, they -entreated him to forgive me this time, saying that they were convinced I -should not again transgress.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_186" id="page_186"></a>{186}</span> But my master was inexorable: all that -their prayers could obtain for me was, that I should receive only a -dozen lashes instead of four-and-twenty, which I had so richly deserved. -This chastisement could not be remitted; and the major-domo, signor -Nicola, my mortal enemy, was charged to inflict it in his own apartment; -which duty he acquitted himself of with such hearty good will, that I -was scarcely able to stir for above a fortnight after.</p> - -<p>It was not many days, however, before I was avenged on him for this hard -usage. You must know that this chanced to be just the season for -mosquitos, with which Rome was more than usually swarmed that year. -Signor Nicola, who loved his ease, was complaining one day in my -presence how much he was annoyed in his bed by these troublesome -companions. “Signor,” said I, “you will have only yourself to blame if -you are not quickly rid of them for ever. In Spain<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_187" id="page_187"></a>{187}</span> we have an -infallible secret to secure ourselves from being plagued by these -insects, which, if you please, I shall be happy to communicate to you.” -“You will oblige me beyond measure,” answered Nicola. “You have only,” -replied I, with a serious countenance, “to lay at your bed’s-head a good -bunch of parsley well steeped in vinegar, of which these vermin are -extremely fond, and which is sure to kill them.”</p> - -<p>He believed me, and tried the experiment that very night, but it had a -very different effect, for he found himself assailed more cruelly than -ever, and was even fearful that they would have eaten his nose off or -torn out his eyes, and had given himself a thousand violent thumps on -the face during the night to get rid of them. Thus had he fought with -them until daylight, when he found that he had not come very -victoriously off, for that even of such of his enemies as he thought he -had crushed, very many had<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_188" id="page_188"></a>{188}</span> escaped. I did not fail to go into his -chamber to see him the first thing in the morning, and his swoln eyes -quickly assured me of the success of my plan. He told me how he had been -tormented, saying that my secret was not worth a farthing. I affected -great astonishment. “You cannot then,” said I, “have left the parsley -long enough in the vinegar, or the vinegar you were supplied with must -have been very weak and bad; for I assure you, that by carrying a bunch -of parsley prepared in the same manner into my own chamber, I have -entirely cleared it of these troublesome guests, who were there in -swarms before I used this remedy.” The major-domo was fool enough to -believe me again, and left a whole bundle of parsley to soak for above -six hours in the strongest vinegar he could procure, and then not only -put it into his bed, but scattered it all over his chamber. God knows -what furious attacks he was therefore exposed to: I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_189" id="page_189"></a>{189}</span> verily believe that -all the mosquitos in the neighbourhood poured down in legions upon him -to devour him, and made so furious an assault, that they left him like a -leper all over his body. What a thrashing would he have given me had he -met me on the following day! but his Eminence, to prevent accident, -called us both into his presence, desiring him not to treat me harshly -on the occasion, and at the same time gave me a slight reprimand, though -he could scarcely restrain his laughter at the success of my scheme. -“For what reason,” said the good prelate, “have you played such a scurvy -trick upon Signor Nicola?” “My Lord,” replied I, “for no other reason -than that when he had orders to give me a dozen lashes for my exploit -among the sweetmeats, he accommodated me with more than twenty on his -own account. I have only, therefore, avenged my scars by those I have -inflicted on him.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_190" id="page_190"></a>{190}</span></p> - -<p>Thus ended this notable affair. Ever since my unlucky adventure of the -sweetmeat-chest, I had been discharged from the chamber of the pages. -The flogging I got was not the only way in which I was punished, for I -had been passed into the Chamberlain’s department, to serve among the -foot-boys until I had sufficiently atoned for my offence to be -reinstated in my former post. The Chamberlain was a man of honour and -sincerity, but rather too scrupulous, and even inclined to be visionary. -He had several relations in the neighbourhood, who were very virtuous -girls, but so poor, that he would send every day two thirds of his own -meals to enable them to subsist. He went occasionally to dine or sup -with them. This afforded an opportunity to the officers of the family, -and especially our Major-domo, to rally him before his Eminence, who was -greatly diverted by it.</p> - -<p>One night when the Chamberlain came home after having dined with his -relations,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_191" id="page_191"></a>{191}</span> finding himself rather indisposed, he retired into his own -chamber and went to bed. The Cardinal not seeing him at supper, inquired -after him. “My Lord,” said one of the servants, “he is not very well.” -The Cardinal, who was anxious to know what could ail him, sent one of -his gentlemen to see, who returned with a report that the Chamberlain -only required a good night’s rest, and that he doubted not he would be -perfectly well again by the morning. This passed off well enough; but -the Secretary Nicola, who was always ready to pick a hole in the -Chamberlain’s coat, having learnt the next morning that he was much -better, caused one of the pages to be dressed up in a young woman’s -clothes, who, with the assistance of a bribe to one of the foot-boys, -introduced himself into the bed-room while the Chamberlain was fast -asleep, and glided to the side of the bed where he was concealed by the -curtains. Immediately after this the Secretary<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_192" id="page_192"></a>{192}</span> went to wait on the -Cardinal, who inquired after the invalid the first thing. “He has passed -but an indifferent night, I understand,” answered Nicola, “but is much -better this morning.” The Cardinal, who loved all his domestics as a -father loveth his children, resolved, upon hearing this, to go and see -the Chamberlain himself, who was disturbed from his slumbers to be -apprised of the honour intended him.</p> - -<p>His Eminence then entered the sick man’s chamber, and sat down on a -chair at the side of the bed; but scarcely was he seated, when he saw -the metamorphosed page slip suddenly from the bed-side, who -counterfeiting, most naturally, the embarrassed female anxious to -escape, got off at length crying, “Oh! good God, I am ruined for ever! -what must his Eminence think of me!” The Cardinal, who had not been -prepared for this scene, and who believed his Chamberlain to be a -religious steady man, appeared<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_193" id="page_193"></a>{193}</span> to be extremely surprised at this sight; -but great as his astonishment was, it amounted to nothing in comparison -with that of our visionary Chamberlain, who, as if just roused from a -most horrible dream, cried aloud, that it was assuredly the Devil -himself come to tempt him in the shape of a woman. This idea caused so -excessive an agitation of his spirits that he could scarcely be -restrained from leaping out of bed in his shirt before his Eminence, and -taking to his heels. As all the servants who were present were privy to -the Secretary’s design, they could not avoid laughing, from which the -Cardinal soon perceived that it was only a trick upon his Chamberlain, -and had the goodness to relieve his distress by undeceiving him himself. -After which he retired.</p> - -<p>All this was just over when I reached home, having been out on different -commissions the whole of the morning. Finding the worthy Chamberlain -very low-spirited<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_194" id="page_194"></a>{194}</span> on my return, I enquired the cause, and he related -the whole affair to me, saying he had no doubt that Nicola was at the -bottom of it. “I would willingly, my dear Guzman,” added he, “most -willingly sacrifice one of my eyes to be amply avenged on him for this -plot, and with your assistance I doubt not I may be able to return him a -‘roland for his oliver.’ A knowing shaver like you will soon devise some -good trick to play him.” “I must confess,” answered I, “that were I in -your place, the Secretary should have no occasion to go to the Pope for -absolution; I would make him do sufficient penance for his trick. -Remember, however, that he is my superior, and it is not for me to -interfere with officers who are above me. If I was excused for the trick -I played master Nicola on my own account, it was only because what I did -was to revenge myself for his former cruel conduct towards me.”</p> - -<p>In vain did I represent to the enraged<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_195" id="page_195"></a>{195}</span> Chamberlain, that I dared not -take up his cudgels, lest I should repent it; he would admit of no -excuse. His prayers, my great friendship for him, the mortal hatred I -had for the Secretary, and above all my natural propensity to mischief, -determined me at length to espouse his cause. “Well then,” said I, -“leave it to me, I will undertake to make my talents useful to you. All -I require of you is, to behave towards the Secretary as though you had -not the most distant thought that he was the author of the late plot.” -The Chamberlain, simple as he was, played his part so well, that all the -servants thought he had forgiven all that had passed.</p> - -<p>In the meantime I was on the alert in preparing every thing to keep my -promise. I bought some rosin, mastic, and frankincense, reduced the -whole into a powder, and mixed them well together in a paper packet -which I kept in my pocket until an opportunity presented<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_196" id="page_196"></a>{196}</span> itself of -making use of it. This offered itself very opportunely a few days after. -It was the Spanish post-day, and Mr. Secretary being very much engaged, -I went to his apartment in the morning, and entered his wardrobe where -his servant was. “James,” said I, “my dear fellow, I have a loaf and a -fine slice of fried ham below. I want but a bottle of wine to make a -good breakfast. If you can supply this, you shall share with me; -otherwise I must look for some one else.” “Mr. Guzman,” answered James, -his eyes sparkling with joy, “I am your man; I can easily get you a -bottle of the very best wine, and if you will but wait here I shall be -with you again in an instant.” Thus saying he disappeared, leaving me -master of the wardrobe. Then looking about for his master’s breeches, -for I knew the Secretary did not put them on in the morning, having -slipped on his dressing gown over his shirt that he might write more at -his ease.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_197" id="page_197"></a>{197}</span> I perceived them on the back of a chair. I took them up and -turned them inside out, and after having strewed my powders all over the -inside of them, I replaced them exactly as I found them. James soon -returned with the wine, but scarcely had we begun breakfast when his -master called him to assist in dressing, and detained him in his room so -long that I was obliged to find another to share my bottle with me, -waiting most anxiously for the time when I should have the pleasure of -seeing my composition operate.</p> - -<p>It had its full effect at the Cardinal’s dinner, where there were a -number of visitors that day. As we were in the middle of the dog-days, -the extreme heat of the weather was very favorable to my trick. Mr. -Nicola was in waiting in the parlour with the other officers. I soon -remarked by his distortions that he felt a great itching in a part of -his body where through respect he dared not put his<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_198" id="page_198"></a>{198}</span> hand. He knew not -how to keep his countenance, and unfortunately, the more he shrugged -himself about the more he increased the pain. As he was naturally as -hairy as a bear, the powder stuck in his hair and flesh, and twitched -him like the points of a thousand needles. This was not all, for the -Cardinal having some orders to give him, called him, and whilst in the -act of whispering to him, his Eminence was obliged to stop his nose all -at once, saying: “What on earth have you about you, that you smell so -strong of rosin and frankincense?” The Secretary coloured at these -words, and stood farther off from his master, who, perceiving that -almost all my comrades, whom the Chamberlain had let into the secret, -were whispering and laughing among themselves, began to suspect that I -had been at my tricks again. As I stood very near to him looking very -demurely all the while; “Guzman,” said he, “what is the fun now that -seems to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_199" id="page_199"></a>{199}</span> cause so much tittering?” “I know not indeed,” answered I, -“unless it be on account of our Secretary’s having taken a laxative -draught composed of turpentine this morning.” The Cardinal laughed most -heartily, and the whole table followed his example. Nicola now began to -see through the business, and not being any longer able to endure the -jeers and laughters with which the dining parlour resounded at his -expence, took to his heels with a precipitation which redoubled the -pleasure of the company. After he had left the room, the Cardinal, -impatient to know what was really the matter, addressed himself to the -Chamberlain, who concealed nothing from him. This adventure established -my reputation in the palace as a most formidable character.</p> - -<p>After having been banished two months from the chamber of the pages, I -was at length recalled and re-established in my former post, the duties -of which I resumed<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_200" id="page_200"></a>{200}</span> with as much effrontery as if nothing had happened. -This brought to my mind a fable which you have doubtless heard, of the -Air, the Water, and Shame, who having kept company together for some -time, and being at length obliged to part, were desirous to know where -they should see each other again. Quoth the Air, “you will always find -me on the top of mountains;” “and I, without fail,” said the Water, “may -always be found in the bowels of the earth.” “As for me,” said Shame -sighing, “if I am once parted with, it is impossible to meet with me -again.” Nothing can be more true: in my own case I felt it, for I was -now no longer susceptible of shame at the commission of a bad action; -the only shame I felt was in being detected. In short, I was so -naturally disposed to knavery, that I really believe I would have thrown -myself headlong from the top of the Castle of St. Angelo, if I saw any -thing at the bottom worth stealing.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_201" id="page_201"></a>{201}</span></p> - -<p>As the good Cardinal was a great lover of sweetmeats, especially of -those that came from the Canaries in barrels, he would always send for -more when his stock was out; and when the barrels were empty they became -the property of the first servant who took possession. One fell to my -share in this manner, in which I kept my handkerchiefs, cards, dice, and -other effects of a poor page. One day a man called to inform his -Eminence that a merchant had just received twelve barrels of fruits of -this description. The Cardinal ordered them for himself. I heard this -order given, and said within myself, it shall go hard but I have one of -them. I retired to my chamber to consider how I could make myself master -of one, and resolved on this plan: I instantly emptied my barrel of my -old rags, and having filled it with earth and straw, I closed it down, -and put on the hoops again so neatly that it looked as if it had never -been<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_202" id="page_202"></a>{202}</span> opened. This done, I went down into the court-yard to wait the -arrival of those that were full of sweetmeats. I had not waited long -before I perceived them coming with the Major-domo at their head, who -ordered us to carry them immediately into the closet where his Eminence -usually kept them. Each of my comrades carried up a barrel. I took good -care to be the last with mine, having my reasons for wishing to walk -after all the rest. We were necessarily to pass by my chamber, so that -seeing myself followed by no one, I slipped in unperceived, and changing -the barrels in the twinkling of an eye, carried the one I had so well -filled with earth and straw, and laid it boldly among the rest in the -Cardinal’s closet. His Eminence was himself there to see them, and when -they were all arranged in order he turned towards me with a smile on his -countenance and said: “well, Guzman, what think you of these barrels? it -will not<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_203" id="page_203"></a>{203}</span> be so easy a matter to thrust an arm into these, or to use -wedges as with the former ones.” “If wedges will not do,” replied I, -coolly, “I may be tempted to employ my nails, for the hand sometimes -does the office of the arm.” “Ah!” replied his Eminence, “but I defy -thee to pilfer these barrels, which have no corners to be lifted up as -the chest had.” “True,” replied I, “but I beseech your Eminence not to -defy me in any thing; for the devil may in such a case furnish me with -the means of deceiving you.” “Be that as it may,” cried the Cardinal, “I -give you leave with all my heart to steal these sweetmeats if you can, -and I give you eight days to do it in. Should you be dexterous enough to -succeed, you shall not only be allowed to keep what you steal, but I -promise you as much more: on condition, however, that should your genius -be obliged to yield, you will without murmuring submit to whatever -penalty I may choose to inflict.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_204" id="page_204"></a>{204}</span></p> - -<p>“That is but just my Lord,” said I, “and I agree to the alternative. -Yes,” continued I, “if I do not perform my task in four and twenty -hours, for I ask not eight days for so trifling an affair, I will submit -to any punishment Signor Nicola may be pleased to sentence me to, who, -after the affair of the mosquitos and that of the turpentine, is not -likely, you will allow, to be too lenient a judge.” The Cardinal laughed -at these last words, and it was finally agreed that I should be punished -or rewarded on the following day.</p> - -<p>What precautions did not his Eminence take to secure his barrels from my -clutches! besides keeping the key of the closet in his own possession, -he set some of his most confidential domestics to be most constantly on -the watch. The next day at dinner the good prelate, fancying me a little -thoughtful, said with a smile: “Guzman, I see plainly what makes you so -dull; you<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_205" id="page_205"></a>{205}</span> are reflecting on the luxury of receiving a hundred lashes -from the vigorous arm of Signor Nicola.” “Indeed my Lord” replied I, -“nothing was farther from my thoughts; for the sweetmeats are already in -my possession.”</p> - -<p>The Cardinal, fully persuaded that no one could possibly have gained -access to his closet or touched his sweetmeats, seemed surprised at my -effrontery, and rallied me all dinner-time on the strapping that was -justly my due. I allowed him to divert himself as long as he pleased, -but when the dessert was about to be served up, I stole privately out of -the dining room up to my own chamber, and drew out of my barrel some of -the sweetmeats, with which I filled a basin I had taken off the -sideboard for that purpose, and carried them to his Eminence’s table. He -was so strangely surprised at sight of them, that he could scarcely -believe his own eyes, “Here,” said he to the chamberlain, giving him<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_206" id="page_206"></a>{206}</span> -the key of the closet, “go and count the barrels attentively; there must -be one short.” The chamberlain returned with an assurance that they were -all safe. “Ah, ah!” said the Cardinal, “I now see through your finesse, -my poor Guzman. You have purchased some of the same merchant who sold me -these fruits, and now hope to make me believe that you have stolen them; -but it will not do, Mr. Guzman; your undertaking was to open and pilfer -one of my barrels and take out some of the sweetmeats; this was our -wager as you will be pleased to recollect; you cannot, therefore, escape -the punishment.” “Come, Signor Nicola,” continued he, “seize this rash -youth, and inflict on him such chastisement as he may appear to you to -deserve.” “Softly, my Lord,” said I, at these last words; “I confess -that I amply deserve all this if the sweetmeats that I have just laid -before you are not some of those your Eminence bought yesterday; but you -must<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_207" id="page_207"></a>{207}</span> allow also that I have won if I prove the contrary, by convincing -you that I have at this moment in my own chamber one of the twelve -barrels that were yesterday brought into your palace.”</p> - -<p>“Be cautious what you affirm, page,” interrupted the Chamberlain; “there -are twelve barrels in my master’s cabinet which I have counted over and -over again.” “That may be,” said I to the Chamberlain, “but recollect -that <i>the wolf often eats the counted sheep</i>.” The Cardinal anxious to -know the truth of the matter, hastened his dinner over, that he might -examine his closet, whither he repaired, accompanied by all the guests -that dined with him that day, who for the most part felt convinced by -the bold face I assumed, that the affair would not end to my -disadvantage.</p> - -<p>His Eminence counted the barrels himself, and finding twelve, “Guzman,” -said he, “here are the twelve barrels that I bought.” “My Lord,” -answered I,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_208" id="page_208"></a>{208}</span> “there are certainly twelve, but they are not all full of -sweetmeats.” The Cardinal, losing patience, wished to have them opened. -“No, no,” cried I, “I will save you that trouble.” Saying which, I -pointed out to him the barrel I had filled with earth and straw, and -while they were opening it I ran to my chamber, whence I returned with -the other, which was still half full of fruit, and related in what -manner I had gained possession of it.</p> - -<p>All the company present applauded me for my dexterity, and laughed most -heartily at the adventure. His Eminence, agreeably to promise presented -me with a second barrel, which I resigned to my comrades, to shew that -what I had done was but to amuse my worthy master. Diverted, however, as -he was by my slights of hand, he would undoubtedly have dismissed me his -service for example’s sake, had he not apprehended that if he abandoned -me I might<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_209" id="page_209"></a>{209}</span> have been driven to the commission of some more desperate -act which would end in my utter destruction. Thus this good prelate, -compassionating my youth, retained me in his family in spite of all my -faults, that I might not be compelled to commit greater crimes -elsewhere.</p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XXVII" id="CHAP_XXVII"></a>CHAP. XXVII.<br /><br /> -<i>Guzman continues playing his tricks at the Cardinal’s, who at length dismisses him.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> Cardinal was certainly the best master in the world. What infinite -pains he took to make me an honest man! He would neither employ threats -with me, nor order me to be beaten,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_210" id="page_210"></a>{210}</span> lest I should be terrified, and run -away from him; the mildness of his character prevented him from -resorting to such means. He endeavoured to inspire me with a love of -virtue by gentle remonstrances, and even by gifts. When I did any thing -praise-worthy, which indeed happened very seldom, he never failed to -reward me well for it. When he was at table, and thought I had a longing -for any little tit-bit, he would give it me, and this condescension was -generally accompanied by a little good-natured bantering. “Guzman,” said -he, one day, giving me with his own hand a piece of tart: “receive this -from me as a tribute, which I pay to preserve peace between us. The fate -of Master Nicola makes me quake for the safety of my sweetmeats.”</p> - -<p>It was thus that he condescended to familiarize himself with his -servants; who, delighted with so kind a master, would almost have -sacrificed their lives<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_211" id="page_211"></a>{211}</span> for his sake. If servants generally dislike -those masters who treat them harshly, on the other hand, those masters, -who are kind to their servants, are always sincerely beloved.</p> - -<p>A short time after the barrel adventure, a large chest of sweetmeats, -finely gilded, and curiously arranged in boxes, was sent to his Eminence -from Genoa. His Lordship was more than usually pleased with them, as -they came from a very dear relation, who made him a similar present -every year. The sweetmeats were exquisitely good, but being put into -boxes which were rather damp, it was necessary to place them in the sun, -to take off the moisture which the boxes had communicated to them.</p> - -<p>The Cardinal seemed at a loss to know where they should be put to be -safe from my pilfering hands. Each of the servants gave his opinion, but -there was not one amongst them bold enough to take charge of, and to -answer for<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_212" id="page_212"></a>{212}</span> them. “Well, well,” said his Eminence, seeing me come in, -(for I had been out of the palace while this consultation was going on,) -here is Guzman, who will extricate us from this difficulty; my friend,” -continued he, “we are at a loss for a proper place to dry these -sweetmeats in; for I am excessively afraid of the rats!” “My Lord,” -answered I, “nothing in the world can be easier than to hinder the rats -from touching them: you have only to give them up to me and my -companions.” “Very true,” replied the prelate smiling; “but though this -may be a very certain method to keep them from the rats, I intend to try -another, and am resolved to give them into your keeping. Take care to -expose them to the sun every day; and see that you give a good account -of them; you see what state they are in. You must watch without ceasing -for their safety, and return them exactly as they are delivered to you, -under pain of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_213" id="page_213"></a>{213}</span> forfeiting my favor.” “Ah, my Lord!” cried I at these -words, “you know not to what trial you expose the frail Guzman; I can -guard well enough against the rats, and against the most cunning of my -companions; but I cannot indeed guard against myself. I am, alas! an -unhappy son of Eve, and if I find myself in a paradise of sweetmeats, -ten to one but some unlucky serpent may tempt me. But yet, if your -Excellency says to me, Guzman, I am content that you should eat my -sweetmeats, provided, on opening the box, that it no where appears that -they have been meddled with;—on this condition, I will take them under -my care, and we shall both be satisfied.” “I consent to it,” answered -the Cardinal; “you are dexterous enough for that, I will forgive you; -but be assured, that if the theft can be perceived, you shall be -chastised.” I undertook the commission on these terms. I opened and -spread out the boxes<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_214" id="page_214"></a>{214}</span> one after another in a gallery that was exposed to -the sun; and the beauty of these sweetmeats made a suitable impression -on such a liquorish young rogue as I was. Nevertheless, whatever longing -I had to taste them, I waited until they were a little drier: which -being the case a few days afterwards, I thought of nothing but how I -should manage to pilfer part of this fine fruit with impunity: and thus -Mr. Enterprise went about it. I first shut up the boxes, which I then -turned gently upside down; and then having drawn out with the point of a -knife the nails which fastened the bottom of them, I took some -sweetmeats from four boxes only. I then carefully filled up with paper -the empty spaces, and restored the boxes to their original state. One -evening as the prelate was taking his afternoon’s repast, for it was a -fast day, I told him that I thought the sweetmeats were dry enough to be -put away. “I need not ask,” answered<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_215" id="page_215"></a>{215}</span> he with a smile, “if you have -eaten a good part of them.” “At least my Lord,” said I, “it does not -appear so, if you look at them.” “We shall see,” said he, “let some of -the boxes be brought here directly.” I took three of my companions into -my room, where they were, and gave each of them one to carry, taking a -fourth myself. These four boxes were those which had passed through my -hands. I presented them to his Excellence, and asked him if he did not -think that they appeared to be well preserved. He inspected them very -narrowly, and seeing nothing to cause any suspicion, he said to me, “I -shall be perfectly satisfied if all the others have been as well -preserved as these: His curiosity was satisfied; he looked at those -boxes which I had not touched, and after a long inspection, he -confessed, “that if I had stolen any of the sweetmeats, it certainly was -no where apparent.” Upon this I ran to my room, and placing the -sweetmeats, which I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_216" id="page_216"></a>{216}</span> had stolen, into a dish, I returned to shew them to -the prelate, assuring him at the same time, “that I had not tasted his -fruit, whatever longing I had for them, as he might easily ascertain.” I -leave it to you to imagine the surprise of the Cardinal, and of all his -domestics, who looking upon me as little less than a juggler, were more -than ever on their guard against me.</p> - -<p>We were made to study four hours a day: we were taught Latin, and even -Greek; and we employed the rest of our time in reading amusing books, -and in the instructions of the music and dancing master. Gaming, -however, was still my favorite amusement; but we served a master whose -character obliged us to be very cautious how we conducted these affairs; -if he had had the least hint of such a thing, he would most likely have -made a clear house of us all.</p> - -<p>It was in this manner, that I spent my youth in the service of the -Cardinal<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_217" id="page_217"></a>{217}</span> where it may be said truly, that I led a very agreeable life. -Nevertheless, far from being happy, I imagined myself in cruel slavery. -I was even foolish enough to regret twenty times having quitted the -society of the beggars: I had also another cause for being tired of my -situation as page: the beard on my chin convinced me that I was no -longer a child, and I burned with desire to wear a sword.</p> - -<p>It is time, said I, that I should begin to think of making my fortune; -but far from thinking that I was in the best house possible to forward -this design, and from following a line of conduct suitable to that idea, -I devoted myself so incessantly to the gaming table that I neglected my -duty. Not finding any one at home who would play deep enough for me, I -contracted the habit of going into the city to seek for players, men to -my taste, and did not return during the whole day. At length I carried<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_218" id="page_218"></a>{218}</span> -this eagerness for play to such lengths, that his lordship hardly ever -seeing me, insisted on being informed the reason of my being always -abroad; and my companions were obliged to communicate it to him. He was -truly displeased at it. He spared nothing to cure me of this pernicious -habit; to accomplish which, he employed remonstrances, promises, and -even prayers, but unfortunately all his pains were bestowed to no -purpose.</p> - -<p>One day, when he was discoursing about me to the principal officers of -his household, he said to them: “since all the means which I have made -use of to recal him to a sense of his duty have been hitherto useless, I -will try another method that has just occurred to me. The next fault -that he commits, he shall be sent from my palace, in order that we may -see if this punishment will make any more impression on him, than all -the lectures I have given him. I do not<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_219" id="page_219"></a>{219}</span> mean by that,” continued he, -“to abandon him to want: his usual allowance shall be given him every -day, and I will take care that he shall be informed, that I shall always -be ready to take him into my service again, when he has changed his -course of life.” O excellent prelate, whose extraordinary virtue is -worthy of eternal praise!</p> - -<p>It was not long before I furnished his excellency with an opportunity to -make trial of the new method he had thought of to correct me. Two or -three days after, I lost at play the whole of my clothes, not excepting -my livery coat, so that I had nothing remaining to cover me, except my -breeches and doublet, for which I could get no one to play. I returned -to the palace in this condition, and shut myself up in my chamber. My -master seeing such an instance of disorderly conduct, executed his -design. He ordered the major-domo to replace the clothes I had lost, and -then to dismiss<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_220" id="page_220"></a>{220}</span> me. The major-domo obeyed, and sending me away, told me -that his Eminence loved me still in spite of my faults; and that he had -given orders that I should have my meals at the palace as usual, and -that he would receive me again among his domestics, when he was -persuaded that I sincerely repented of my past course of life. Far from -feeling grateful for this kindness of the holy prelate, I was so proud, -or rather so foolish, as to spurn at it: and I went out of his house -grumbling as if I had had great cause of complaint, and vowing that I -would never enter his doors again. I thought indeed that he was very -wrong to use me thus; and determined to revenge myself upon him by -<i>ruining myself</i>.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_221" id="page_221"></a>{221}</span></p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XXVIII" id="CHAP_XXVIII"></a>CHAP. XXVIII.<br /><br /> -<i>Guzman enters into the service of the Spanish Ambassador.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">My</span> ridiculous pride long prevented me from perceiving the extreme folly -of my behaviour. At first I amused myself by strolling about the streets -of Rome and eating at the houses of my acquaintance, but I found that my -civil reception among them did not last long; scanty fare and gloomy -looks saluted me every where, and I was soon at a loss for a dinner. -This verifies the Spanish proverb: <i>Live a week with your uncle or -cousin, a month with your brother, a year with your friend; but in the -house of your father you may live for life</i>.</p> - -<p>I soon perceived that spunging was a villainous trade, and began to -regret<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_222" id="page_222"></a>{222}</span> that I was self-exiled from the table of the cardinal’s pages; -but the fault was then irreparable, since at that time his Eminence fell -sick and died. He left to all his servants, by his will, money enough to -support them comfortably for the remainder of their lives. This -circumstance drove me to despair, as I could not forgive myself for -having, by my deplorable folly, excluded myself from the provision which -would otherwise have been made for me. I saw no other resource, but to -offer my services to the Spanish Ambassador, who had been one of the -most intimate friends of my deceased master, and knew me very well. He -had also in more than one instance given me tokens of his good will.</p> - -<p>I had no sooner expressed my desire of entering into his service, than -he testified the utmost willingness to receive me. He had often -condescended to honor with a smile the jests and stories<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_223" id="page_223"></a>{223}</span> he had heard -from me at the palace of the cardinal. He considered me as a dexterous -young fellow, and very well adapted for his buffoon and pimp. This last -honorable employment was what he chiefly designed for me, as you will -soon perceive. But first I must depict the character of this minister.</p> - -<p>He was chosen to conduct an embassy to Rome, at a very critical period; -this situation required a penetrating genius, and a man of great -address. His excellency perfectly justified the confidence which the -king reposed in him. But he had a foible, a little too common amongst -men of rank,—that of being too much addicted to women. But for this -circumstance, he would have been more esteemed than any other Ambassador -at that court. Having, then, judged me worthy to have the management of -his intrigues, he began to inform me of his virtuous intentions. Then, -that I might give him a specimen of my abilities, he<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_224" id="page_224"></a>{224}</span> employed me in -some trifling messages of gallantry, in which I had the good fortune to -acquit myself to his entire satisfaction. This coup d’essai was followed -by two or three commissions of the same nature, though of somewhat more -difficulty, which were conducted with equal success. Nothing more was -necessary to establish me perfectly in his good graces, and he conceived -such a friendship for me that I soon became his favorite page. From this -moment Signor Guzman was all in all in his master’s house. I did as I -pleased, and every thing that I did was well done. The other domestics -did not see my growing greatness without envy, especially those of -longest standing; some called me my master’s buffoon, and some his pimp -in ordinary. Nevertheless I did not presume upon the favor of the -Ambassador, and was so far from doing these spiteful gentry any ill -offices with his excellency, that I gladly seized every<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_225" id="page_225"></a>{225}</span> opportunity of -serving them, in consequence of which they forbore to shew me any -particular mark of their ill will, and we lived together on pretty -tolerable terms.</p> - -<p>While I was with the Ambassador, I did not disgrace the reputation I had -acquired on account of my frolics at the palace of the Cardinal, and I -was not very sparing of my tricks, as there could not be any place in -the world that could open a wider field for them than the house of my -new master. Parasites often came in at dinner time. My fellow pages and -I were not at a loss to distinguish them from respectable people whom my -master was really happy to see at his table. We took care to be very -attentive to the latter, but as for the spungers who were most of them -mere adventurers, they had but scurvy commons, which diverted the -Ambassador exceedingly. One was suffered to ask in vain for drink during -the whole meal; it was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_226" id="page_226"></a>{226}</span> of no use to make signs, we pretended not to -understand them. Another had his glass handed to him half full, and the -glass shaped in such a fashion, that half the liquor would remain in the -glass; which only tantalized his thirst. Another was served with water -prepared of a red colour.—If a dainty morsel was carved for any one of -these gentry, we changed his plate so quickly that the poor devil had -scarcely time to taste it. In a word, we did every thing in our power to -drive them all from his Excellency’s table, and were sometimes lucky -enough to succeed.</p> - -<p>Among the adventurers who were drawn together by the savory fumes which -proceeded from our kitchen, there was a foreigner who surpassed all the -others in impudence. He affirmed himself to be a relation of the -Ambassador, though his manners were as opposite as possible to those of -a man of quality. His brazen impudence was his only introduction, and in -spite of the frozen reception<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_227" id="page_227"></a>{227}</span> he met with from his Excellency, he -assiduously pestered him with his company at dinner. He did nothing but -boast of himself and of his country:—the politeness of his -countrymen,—their civilities to strangers, and their honesty, were -topics of which he was never tired. As for the women, the wives were all -Lucretias and the daughters Vestal Virgins. I should never have done if -I were to repeat all the praises which he heaped upon the people of his -own country: at last he wearied all the company with his foolish -discourse, but especially my master, who being quite out of patience, -said to me one day in Castilian, which this blade did not understand; -“You know not, Guzman, how weary I am of this fellow’s rhodomontade.”</p> - -<p>It may be supposed that this hint was not lost upon a page who was -neither deaf nor a fool. I understood well enough that this troublesome -personage must absolutely be got rid of. To accomplish<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_228" id="page_228"></a>{228}</span> this end, I -posted myself behind his chair at dinner, and whenever he asked for -drink, which happened almost every minute, I took a very large glass -which I filled to the brim with so strong a sort of wine that it could -not fail to intoxicate him speedily; when I saw that this was effected, -I tied one of his legs to his own chair with a piece of silk twist, -without any of the guests perceiving what I did. When dinner was ended, -the Ambassador rose, and the company followed his example, but when my -gentleman would have done the same, he and the chair had such a heavy -fall together, that I am much mistaken if his nose and jaws did not rue -the circumstance for a long time afterwards. I pretended to help him up -and gently untied the string. Nevertheless, in spite of all the wine -that he had drank, he perceived that every body laughed at his expense, -and suspecting the cause of his disaster, he went away in a rage and -never came again: which pleased his Excellency beyond<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_229" id="page_229"></a>{229}</span> measure, that he -had so easily got rid of such a troublesome guest.</p> - -<p>Having thus driven this spunger from the field, my companions and I next -undertook the discomfiture of the others, but we found some who were not -to be so easily disposed of. Amongst others, there was a Spanish bully, -who called himself a gentleman of Cordova. He came one day about dinner -time, and saluted his Excellency the Ambassador very ceremoniously, -informing him that he was in pecuniary distress, and that his pressing -necessity obliged him to disclose his situation.</p> - -<p>My master, who easily understood the drift of all this harangue, took -out a purse of pistoles, which he gave him unopened, and bowing -politely, turned away from him; but the Cordovan, far from retiring upon -this hint, followed him closely, and began talking of the dangers he had -gone through, and at last had the effrontery to take a seat next to his -Excellency at the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_230" id="page_230"></a>{230}</span> table. “I hope,” said he, “your Excellency will not -be offended at the liberty I am taking, but even if I was not a -gentleman of family, my having served in his Majesty’s army, is -sufficient to entitle me to the honor of eating with Princes. Besides,” -added he, “the table of a Nobleman of your reputation, should always be -open to Officers whose services have not met with a merited recompense.”</p> - -<p>After this fine speech, he fell to on the dish nearest him, with the -greatest avidity. He ate like a half starved glutton as he was. Then -looking at me, who was nearest to him, he beckoned to me five or six -times to bring him some wine; but unluckily for my gentleman, instead of -paying any attention to his signs, I pretended that I did not observe -them.</p> - -<p>If he thought at first this neglect arose from carelessness or -stupidity, he was soon undeceived, and perceived my roguish<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_231" id="page_231"></a>{231}</span> malice -plain enough. “Page,” said he to me, in a loud voice, “have you been -ordered to let me die with thirst?” Upon this, my master, who had no -small inclination to laugh at this scene, nodded to me to serve this -adventurer; but I took good care to give him one of the smallest -glasses, and was even spiteful enough to hand it him half empty.</p> - -<p>Just as this happened, and when I was carrying back the salver to the -sideboard, there entered two other parasites whom I knew, by having -frequently seen them at the Ambassador’s table. Not being able to find -any vacant seats, they began to examine the guests, and particularly the -pretended noble of Cordova, and as they seemed to me to regard him with -an air of contempt, my curiosity was excited. I approached the new -comers, and asked them if the gentleman whom they examined so -attentively, was one of their acquaintance.</p> - -<p>“Gentleman indeed!” cried one of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_232" id="page_232"></a>{232}</span> the two; “surely you are jesting, my -friend; learn that this fellow who is now filling at that table the seat -which is only for respectable men, and whom you think to be of noble -blood, is the son of a man who has often made boots for me, and who -keeps a shop near the cathedral church of Cordova.” “If he comes in my -way,” said the other, “I shall tell him something more than he will like -to hear.” Speaking thus, these braggadocios looked very big, twisted -their mustachios, and retreated together into the court yard to consider -what steps they should next take.</p> - -<p>When they had been there a short time, I went out and joined them: -“Gentlemen,” said I, “this man whom you despise so much, affirms that -you are a couple of despicable fellows, and says he is surprised at your -impudence in daring to intrude yourselves here. If you will wait till he -has dined, he will come and tell you more himself.” “Let<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_233" id="page_233"></a>{233}</span> him come; let -him come;” cried they both together: “we will let him know whom he has -to deal with.” Having thus enraged them against the Officer of Cordova, -I returned to the latter, and in a whisper loud enough to be heard by -the whole company, informed him that there were two gentlemen below, who -wanted a moment’s conversation with him. “Let them have patience,” -answered he; “I shall not quit his Excellency while he is at table.” -“They affirm,” added I, “that you have announced yourself falsely as a -cavalier of noble birth, and that you are but the son of a cobbler.” -“Heaven and earth,” cried he, with a furious aspect, “can there be any -one so tired of his life as to dare to talk in this manner of a man like -me? where are these scoundrels?” continued he, rising from table, “where -are they? their ears at least shall pay for their temerity.” “You have -but to follow me,” said I, “and I will bring<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_234" id="page_234"></a>{234}</span> you to them instantly.” At -these words I took him by the arm, and led him out of the room, though -he seemed to have but little desire to quit it.</p> - -<p>Immediately the Ambassador and the company hastened to the windows which -looked into the court yard, to see the termination of the quarrel which -I had contrived to stir up between these three bullies. “Gentlemen,” -said I to the two who were walking the court, “here is the person whose -father, if you are to be believed, is a Cordovan shoemaker.” “Let him -thank his stars,” cried they, “that our hands are tied by the respect we -owe to this palace, which we consider as belonging to the King of -Spain.” Seeing the officer in such a panic that he could not utter a -single syllable, I took up his cause. “Gentlemen,” said I, “this -cavalier will go out directly if you wish it, and is ready to terminate -his dispute with you in the street.” “No, no,” answered they, retreating -with the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_235" id="page_235"></a>{235}</span> utmost precipitation, “we shall take another opportunity to -meet him.” Their retreat brought back the courage of our gallant, who -pretended to treat them as cowards. He himself, therefore, went out a -moment after them, but took care to choose a different road. The -Ambassador and his guests were infinitely diverted with this ridiculous -adventure, and a thousand witty things were said at their return to -table, at the expense of our three adventurers. After dinner every one -retired, whilst his Excellency withdrew to his chamber to enjoy his -afternoon’s nap.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_236" id="page_236"></a>{236}</span></p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XXIX" id="CHAP_XXIX"></a>CHAP. XXIX.<br /><br /> -<i>Of the Trick that Guzman played upon a Captain and a Lawyer, who came to dine at the Ambassador’s without having been invited.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Nothing</span> afforded my master more pleasure than seeing his genteel -acquaintance at his table; and he was often willing even to tolerate -parasites, provided their wit compensated for their entertainment; but -he was always much vexed at the appearance of the latter, when it so -happened that he had a select party to dine with him. This being the -case, you may well conceive that it was not without considerable pain -that he saw two of these hangers-on enter his room one day, when he -expected the French Ambassador and other persons<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_237" id="page_237"></a>{237}</span> of distinction to dine -with him. One of these was a Captain, and the other a Lawyer, neither of -whom wanted merit in his own line, but as they could talk on no other -subject but their respective professions, they had become quite a -nuisance in the house.</p> - -<p>The Ambassador could not help bowing as he saw them enter, of which, -however, they took not the slightest notice; and so far from taking -their leave after this cold reception, they seemed determined to stay, -and joined the rest of the company accordingly. My master looked at me, -and I understood in an instant that it would not displease him if I -could in any way divert the company at the expense of these gentlemen. -Thus then I set about it.</p> - -<p>You must be informed, in the first place, that the Lawyer, who was a -grave, formal man, had a pair of huge whiskers, of which he took such -particular care, that he scarcely dared even to smile for<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_238" id="page_238"></a>{238}</span> fear of -discomposing them. I observed that he often took a sly peep at them with -great delight, in a little mirror which he drew out of his pocket with -his handkerchief, pretending all the while to be blowing his nose. -Having taken particular notice of this manœuvre of his, I waited -patiently until the dessert was placed on the table, when the -conversation becoming lively, I soon had an opportunity of putting my -plan in execution. I then went up to the Captain and whispered something -to him which made him laugh. He answered me in the same tone, and so I -continued laughing and whispering with him for a considerable time, -always taking pains to look at the Lawyer, to make him think that we -were talking of him. At length, when I thought it was time, I assumed a -more serious air, and said aloud, as if still continuing the -conversation, “No, no, Captain, I am your most humble servant, but I -protest I can take no part in this<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_239" id="page_239"></a>{239}</span> joke, the respect that I owe my -master, and his friend the Lawyer, will not permit me to take such a -liberty.”</p> - -<p>“What’s the matter, Guzman?” said my master, hearing this. “Truly, sir,” -answered I, “the Captain can tell you better than I. He has been -cracking jokes upon the Lawyer’s whiskers for some time past, and now -wishes me to amuse the company with them.” “Come, come, Guzman,” said -the French Ambassador, “let us know the whole of it.” “Since my master -and you command it,” said I, “it is my duty to tell you. The Captain has -been informing me that Mr. Lawyer keeps a wench to comb and dye his -whiskers every morning, that they may not turn grey, and always sleeps -on his back for fear of rumpling them. In short he has been amusing me -on this subject for this quarter of an hour, trying to persuade me to -repeat the jokes as though they were of my own invention;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_240" id="page_240"></a>{240}</span> but it is not -for a boy like me to rally so venerable a personage in this manner.”</p> - -<p>The Captain, instead of denying what I asserted, laughed heartily, and -all the company followed his example, without knowing whether I spoke -truth or falsehood. The Lawyer hesitated for some moments how to take -the joke; but not being able any longer to withstand the noble Captain’s -immoderate laughter, “Rascal,” said he, in a rage, “you have good cause, -truly, to rally me upon my age, you who boast of your services under -Charles V. whom you never saw but in a picture! But I degrade myself by -putting myself in comparison with a man of your stamp.” “Very fine, Mr. -Lawyer,” interrupted the Captain, growing warm, “you forget the company -we are in. Were I not more reasonable than you,”——“More reasonable!” -cried the Lawyer in his turn, “why there is not a greater fool on the -face of the earth.” The Captain had<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_241" id="page_241"></a>{241}</span> now entirely lost all temper, and -would doubtless have answered his friend the Lawyer by throwing one of -the plates at his head, had not the company interfered, and appeased -them both. Neither of them, however, ventured to come to the house -again; and thus I freed my master of two other most troublesome guests.</p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XXX" id="CHAP_XXX"></a>CHAP. XXX.<br /><br /> -<i>The Ambassador falls in love with a Roman Lady; Guzman undertakes to assist him in his amour; his success.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I have</span> already informed you, gentle reader, that the only blemish in the -character of the Ambassador was his libertine principles respecting the -fair sex.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_242" id="page_242"></a>{242}</span> He had seen, though by what accident I never knew, the wife -of a Roman knight, and speedily became violently enamoured of her. He -had already put an old beldame on the scent, who was trained to the -seduction of young women, but, however dextrous his agent might be, all -her pains and exertions had hitherto proved useless, and my master was -driven to despair. At last he opened his mind to me, and expressed the -more surprise at Fabia’s withstanding his advances, as this lady, in the -flower of her youth, was united to a husband who had all the -disagreeable infirmities of old age. The design of this confidence was -to engage me to assist him in this intrigue; which he had but little -difficulty to accomplish. I undertook this honorable employment which my -master conferred upon me, and on my informing him that I was -particularly intimate with the waiting-maid of that lady, he conceived -the most flattering hopes. He could not contain<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_243" id="page_243"></a>{243}</span> his joy on learning -this circumstance; but embraced me, and said, that having her attendant -and myself in his interest, he did not doubt that with our assistance he -should, sooner or later, obtain the object of his desires. In the next -conversation that I had with Nicoleta (which was the name of the lady’s -maid) I contrived to engage her in my master’s favor. She spared no -pains to ingratiate him with her mistress, by taking every opportunity -of praising him, and of saying something in disparagement of the old -husband. Nevertheless, after losing a great deal of time in attacking -Fabia’s virtue by every sort of discourse the most likely to stagger it, -she began to despair of success, when one morning that lady, putting on -of a sudden a smiling air, said to her, “My dear Nicoleta, I will unfold -to you the inmost recesses of my soul; I can no longer dissemble with -you, so wholly devoted as you are to all my wishes. Learn then<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_244" id="page_244"></a>{244}</span> that I -think the Spanish Ambassador every way worthy of the love of a woman of -quality. I can no longer continue to treat him so harshly. But you know -my character; you know that I am a slave to reputation. Find out some -method to compromise my inclination for him with my delicacy, and if you -can discover one that proves satisfactory, I shall no longer make any -scruple of returning the passion of this amiable Nobleman. I allow you -to divulge every thing to Guzman, and even wish that he may, if -possible, be introduced to me to-night. You can bring him into the house -secretly, and I shall be able to converse with him without discovery.” -Nicoleta, who was transported with joy to see her mistress so favorably -inclined towards my master, embraced her knees, kissed her hands, and -acted a thousand fooleries before her, which testified her rapture. -Then, in the hope of strengthening her resolution, she began to boast<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_245" id="page_245"></a>{245}</span> -of the good qualities of the Ambassador; and concluded by assuring her -that the intrigue should be conducted in so prudent a manner that no one -living should have the slightest suspicion of it. Satisfied with these -assurances, Fabia told her that she would leave every thing to her zeal -and discretion.</p> - -<p>Upon this, Nicoleta came to seek for me, and, as if the excess of her -joy had almost deprived her of her senses, she threw her arms round my -neck, crying out, “My dear friend, you will be transported at the -agreeable news I bring you: my mistress resists no longer, but is -willing to make your master the happiest of men.” I was so delighted at -hearing these words, which I little expected, that I took Nicoleta by -the hand, and led her like a triumphant general into my master’s closet, -where we began to congratulate ourselves on the change that we had -wrought in Fabia. His Excellency presented a purse of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_246" id="page_246"></a>{246}</span> Spanish pistoles -to the waiting-woman, who received them with a very good grace, after a -little ceremonious reluctance, as is usual upon such occasions.</p> - -<p>This officious agent at length retired, after she had carefully -instructed me concerning the place where I was to meet her that night, -and the hour of rendezvous when I was to be introduced to Fabia; and my -master and I were left alone. We passed the whole afternoon in -conversation on this intrigue, he relating to me how he first obtained a -sight of the lady, and I congratulating him on his having made so -agreeable an acquaintance.</p> - -<p>At the appointed hour I hastened to the rendezvous, at the place fixed -upon by Nicoleta, who came at last to inform me that her mistress could -not see me that night, and this disappointment happened for three or -four nights following. My patron and I did not augur very favorably from -this beginning; nevertheless<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_247" id="page_247"></a>{247}</span> we did not totally despair; and, at last, -one night the confidante informed me, through a small window on the -ground-floor, that in a few minutes she could introduce me to her -mistress.</p> - -<p>You must know that the passage in which I stood was extremely muddy, and -it poured with rain so as to wet me to the skin. I bore all this for two -hours with a patience which nothing but my extreme zeal and attachment -for my master could have inspired. At length I heard Nicoleta call me. I -obeyed her summons instantly, and was led by her through a little door, -which was shut to again as softly as it was opened. “Guzman,” said she, -“I will just run and let Fabia know that you are here, and she will be -with you in an instant.” The voice of my charmer soon made me forget my -late wetting, and I thought of nothing but the happy moment in which I -should behold the lady who had so captivated my master, and the extreme<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_248" id="page_248"></a>{248}</span> -joy with which I should acquaint him that I had been so happy as to -obtain an interview. It was not long before Fabia really came with her -maid. “Nicoleta,” said she, “while I am conversing with Signor Guzman, -do you watch my husband’s chamber, and should he perchance ask for me, -lose no time in letting me know.”</p> - -<p>It is impossible for me to tell you whether Fabia was in reality -beautiful or ugly, for she had thought proper to receive me in the dark, -so that I could not even see her face. In a low voice she began by -inquiring anxiously after my health. I followed her example, and added -the finest compliment I could think of in behalf of my master, whom I -represented as dying for love of her; notwithstanding which, it appeared -to me that she paid but little attention to what I was saying, for she -constantly interrupted me in the most pathetic parts of my speech. At -length she said,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_249" id="page_249"></a>{249}</span> “Signor Guzman, I trust you will excuse me if I do not -listen to you in the manner you deserve; but I am extremely alarmed lest -some of my husband’s spies should overhear our conversation. Walk on a -little way,” continued she, “and you will enter a parlour, where I -entreat you will wait for me; meantime, I will just see that all is -right in the house, and shall soon be with you again. Be sure you make -no noise.”</p> - -<p>I was weak enough to believe what she said, and groped my way forward, -as if I had been playing at blindman’s buff. But instead of reaching a -parlour, I found myself in a back yard, the pavement of which was so -dirty and slippery, that after a few steps I rolled into a heap of mud, -and, in rising again, struck my head with such violence against a wall -hard by, that I lay for some time without sense or motion. Having, -however, somewhat recovered of this shock, I groped very carefully along -the wall in<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_250" id="page_250"></a>{250}</span> search of the parlour I had been directed to, and at last -entered at a little door which I found open, confident that I must then -be right. Again I was mistaken, and had the consolation to find myself -in a narrow passage, which was not six feet in length, on each side of -which were two drains from the house-top, and as it still continued -pouring with rain, they had so inundated this spot, that I found myself -on a sudden up to my knees in water. I ran back instantly, in the hope -of retreating as I had entered, but the door was no longer open. Either -the wind had blown it to, or some one, who had followed me close behind -all the while, which indeed is more probable, had served me this trick. -Be that as it may, I found myself obliged to make up my mind to pass the -night in this swamp, where, as soon as I ran from one drain which was -pouring upon my head, I found myself saluted by the other. “Out of the -frying-pan<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_251" id="page_251"></a>{251}</span> into the fire,” muttered I to myself. “Oh, night, almost as -dreadful as that in which I was confined under a tub, or tossed by -devils in a blanket!”</p> - -<p>Disagreeable, however, as my present reflections were, they were nothing -in comparison with those with which I awaited the morning. “Wretched -Guzman,” said I, “thou art at last then fairly entrapped! Fabia’s -husband will doubtless inquire your business here the first thing in the -morning. And what answer can you make? If you should tell the truth, for -the first time in your life, you will make your master and yourself the -common talk of Rome. What answer can you make then, but that Nicoleta -had invited you, and that you were under a promise to marry her? And -even should they oblige you to keep your word, this misfortune would be -preferable to having all your bones broken to make you confess the -truth. But who knows that they will even ask<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_252" id="page_252"></a>{252}</span> me a single question? -Perhaps murder and bury me on the spot. Nothing can be too bad to fear -from a jealous Italian husband.”</p> - -<p>With these frightful thoughts was I haunted until break of day, when I -fancied, all of a sudden, that I heard the yard-door being softly -opened, and I flattered myself, at first, that it must be either the -waiting-woman or her mistress come out of compassion to deliver me from -my confinement; but nothing was less in their thoughts. The door, -however, was certainly open, though I could see nobody who could -possibly have opened it. I soon found myself again in the yard which I -had passed through overnight, and having pushed open another door which -was only on the latch, I reached the spot where the confidante had -conversed with me, and looking up at the window through which she had -spoken to me, I thanked Heaven that I had escaped so easily. I returned<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_253" id="page_253"></a>{253}</span> -quickly to my master’s house, and threw myself upon my bed, wrapped up -warmly in the bed-clothes, not without serious apprehensions of a most -violent cold.</p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XXXI" id="CHAP_XXXI"></a>CHAP. XXXI.<br /><br /> -<i>Guzman’s adventure with a large Hog, and its consequences.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">My</span> mind being too much agitated to allow me to sleep, I could not close -my eyes; all my thoughts were engrossed by the adventure which had just -happened to me. I attributed every thing to the vengeance of Fabia, whom -I concluded to be a miracle of chastity, and judged that in order to -undeceive the Ambassador, she had given his envoy this gallant -reception. But I knew that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_254" id="page_254"></a>{254}</span> this affair would raise a laugh with every -body at my expense, and this vexed me more than all the rest. I was also -at a loss to know in what way I should inform my master of the story, -which sooner or later I was sure must come to his knowledge.</p> - -<p>When the warmth of the bed had again put my half stagnated blood into -circulation, I put on another suit of clothes in the place of that which -the rain had honored with so fine a trimming, and presented myself -before the Ambassador as though nothing had happened. I waited until he -should question me, as he always did after he had finished dinner. He -called me into his closet, when he said to me: “What is the reason -Guzman of my not having seen you this morning? I expected you to give me -an account of what took place last night at Fabia’s house. I am afraid -you have but indifferent news to tell me.” “It is true, my lord,” -answered I, “that my news is not the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_255" id="page_255"></a>{255}</span> best in the world. I know not what -to think of Fabia. I passed the whole of the night in the street, -without hearing from or seeing either the lady or the maid. Would to -heaven that you had never undertaken this affair!” “How comes it -Guzman,” replied he, “that you are so soon discouraged? some -unseasonable mischance perhaps has prevented Fabia from seeing you as -she designed, and of which the maid might have been unable to inform -you. Do not be disheartened, however, but return to-night to the same -place where you waited for Nicoleta before.” I promised my master -faithfully to obey his commands. A groom met me as I came out of his -Excellency’s closet, and brought me a letter from a lady, he said, who -had desired him to deliver it to me. ’Twas from the waiting maid. She -was very much surprised, she informed me, that I had not seen her yet to -communicate what passed last night between her<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_256" id="page_256"></a>{256}</span> mistress and myself; -however, that I might make amends for my fault, I had only to repair -towards evening to the lane behind Fabia’s house, where we could enjoy a -private conversation through the well known little window. My hopes were -raised on the perusal of this billet. At six in the evening I took care -to be in the lane, which as I have already remarked was extremely -narrow, and filled every where with mud up to one’s ancles. My dulcinea -was waiting for me at the window, and at first began to reproach me -sharply; but her tone was soon changed on my making an exact recital of -what I had suffered, and she began to condole with me on my accident. -The trick her mistress had put upon me seemed to excite in her the -utmost surprise, and in spite of my prejudice against her, she almost -persuaded me that she had no share in it. During this conversation, in -order to shew my politeness and get nearer the window, I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_257" id="page_257"></a>{257}</span> had raised -myself up by standing on two stones, which exposed me to a new -misfortune which my kickless fate inflicted upon me, as will appear in -the sequel. While I was engrossed by the conversation, and thinking of -nothing less than of the accident that was about to befal me, a cursed -hog, of monstrous size, and covered with filth, rushed out of his sty, -and ran between my legs, in so furious a manner, that he fairly carried -me off on his back.</p> - -<p>You may easily imagine the fine entertainment it afforded the -spectators, who were but too numerous, as that part is generally filled -with people, to see a man of my figure and dress gallop at full speed -out of such a filthy place, mounted on an immense hog, grunting in the -most horrid manner imaginable, covered with mud from head to foot, and -clinging most lovingly to his neck, for fear I should break an arm or a -leg against the wall, my hat and fine plume of feathers the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_258" id="page_258"></a>{258}</span> devil knew -where, as they had fallen off into the mud; all this I say, presented -the passengers with a scene so comical, that they laughed, shouted, and -made so much noise, that my accursed Bucephalus became more furious than -ever. At last, not relishing the ardour with which I embraced him, he -gave so violent a plunge, that he quickly got rid of his troublesome -rider, for whom he took care to choose a soft bed after so fatiguing an -exercise, as he deposited me in the very muddiest place possible: just -at the entrance of the Square Navonne. Heavens! what a hue and cry was -raised after me; an infinite number of all sorts of people surrounded -me, and insulted my misfortune by a thousand scurvy witticisms, which I -suffered in silence; overcome by shame and confusion, I thought of -nothing but escaping into some house, and at last took shelter in one -which seemed likely to afford me an asylum. I ran in, and slammed the -door in the face of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_259" id="page_259"></a>{259}</span> scoundrels who hunted me so unmercifully. They -did nothing but cry to the people of the house to turn me out again; and -any one, to see their fury in persecuting me, would have concluded that -I had committed some enormous crime which had brought on me this -exemplary punishment. To crown my misfortune, the master of the house in -which I had taken refuge, did not seem much inclined to take my part -against the insolent rabble. As he was a jealous old fellow, and took -every shadow for a gallant, he took it into his wise head to fancy that -the lamentable pickle in which I entered his house was nothing but a -trick I had made use of to cover the delivering of some amorous message. -Filled with this preposterous idea, he attacked me with the most -vehement language, and, seconded by his domestics, who followed his -example, he kicked me out of his house, after their fists had bestowed -on me a very sound drubbing. Behold me then a second<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_260" id="page_260"></a>{260}</span> time delivered -into the power of these merciless jesters, who running after me as fast -as I ran from them, renewed their jokes and insults. I had invoked every -Saint in the Calendar, when Heaven taking pity upon me, sent to my -assistance a young Spaniard, who kindly offered me his services, and -those of three or four Italians who accompanied him. With their -assistance (of which Heaven knows I stood in need), I escaped from my -persecutors, while the Spaniard and his companions making use of the -flat side of their swords, soon put them to flight. I made all the speed -possible towards our Hotel, caring little for the snarling dogs that -snapped at my heels in every street I ran through. At last I was lucky -enough to reach home safe and sound, excepting a few bruises. I was even -so fortunate as to reach my chamber door without meeting with a soul; -but in vain did I search my pockets over and over again,—no key could I -find,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_261" id="page_261"></a>{261}</span> and I concluded that as I drew out my handkerchief to wipe my -face, I had let it fall in the house where I had so unluckily taken -refuge. “Ah! miserable wretch,” cried I to myself, “to what purpose have -you extricated yourself from this embarrassment, if you cannot conceal -it from the servants of the Ambassador? if any one should perceive you -in your present pickle, he will inform the others, and you will become -the jest of the house for months to come.” At last, after a long -deliberation, I resolved to implore the assistance of one of my -comrades, whose room was next to mine, and who had professed a great -deal of good-will towards me. I went and rapped at the door of his room. -He opened it, but seeing me so finely decorated, could not refrain from -a roar of laughter, which burst from him in spite of his teeth. I was -compelled to bear it all with patience. “My good friend,” said I, “when -you have indulged your mirth sufficiently, I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_262" id="page_262"></a>{262}</span> will request that you will -do me the favor to go and fetch a locksmith to open my chamber door.” “I -will go directly,” answered he, “but first do gratify my curiosity; tell -me how this accident happened to you, I promise you never to reveal it -to any living soul.” To get rid of so inquisitive a man, I invented and -told him a story, in which there was not one word of truth: and as soon -as I had finished, begged of him to go for the smith. It was with the -utmost unwillingness that he left me in his chamber, he was so -apprehensive that I should soil his furniture, that tired as I was, he -obliged me to promise, in the most solemn manner, that I would not -approach it, but that I would stand up at a distance until his return. -Fortunately for me he returned in a very short time with a locksmith, -who opened my door in a twinkling, and I made all the haste possible to -change my clothes and linen, and thoroughly<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_263" id="page_263"></a>{263}</span> wash my face and hands of -the filth that covered them.</p> - -<p>I had scarcely got rid of my muddy decoration, when I was informed that -the Ambassador wanted to speak to me. He had already heard the -catastrophe of the hog. In the houses of men of rank, there are always -servants who are ready enough to pay court to their masters by betraying -their fellows. But my master had heard a very inaccurate account of this -adventure. So he directly inquired of me how the accident happened, and -whether it might not be attributed to the revenge of the husband of -Fabia. I was delighted at his giving me himself so fine an opportunity -for inventing a lie. I told him that two tall stout lubbers of footmen, -having observed me talking to Nicoleta in the lane, had thought proper -to begin joking me on the subject; that I had answered them; that from -words we proceeded to blows, and that in all probability I should have -killed one of them<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_264" id="page_264"></a>{264}</span> at least, had it not happened fortunately for him, -that a hog rushed furiously out of an inclosure near the spot, which -running against me had thrown me into the mud; and that when I sprang up -again to renew the engagement, my enemies had taken to their heels in -the most cowardly manner. His Excellency was completely duped by this -bragging recital. But though for that evening he was imposed upon, the -very next morning he learnt the whole truth, and at dinner time I did -not fail to hear of it. He bantered me pretty severely on my encounter -with the footmen, and honored me with the title of “The Knight of the -Hog.” I should have been the first to laugh at his jests if we had been -by ourselves, but the other servants were present, and of course highly -delighted to see me so jeered by my master, as they augured from that -circumstance, that I should soon cease to be his favorite. Another -circumstance still more vexatious<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_265" id="page_265"></a>{265}</span> occurred shortly after; one of the -Ambassador’s friends (who was consequently one of my enemies), waited -upon him, to communicate, as he said, a very important affair. My master -requested him to explain himself, which he did in these words, or at -least in terms of the same import: “The warm interest I take in every -thing that concerns you, compels me to inform you of a report which is -circulated in Rome, very much to your disadvantage. Guzman, whose -conduct is really very bad, passes for the agent of your pleasures. The -adventure of the hog is become the general topic of conversation, and -scandal has gone so far as to assert that Guzman was employed in the -execution of some love embassy when he became the sport of the -populace.”</p> - -<p>It may be conceived that these words made a very great impression on the -mind of such a man as the Ambassador, who knew so well what became the -dignity of his character and the honor of the Prince<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_266" id="page_266"></a>{266}</span> whom he -represented. From that moment he resolved to get rid of me; and though -at that time he took no notice of it, and behaved towards me as usual, I -knew him too well, not to perceive that he dissembled, and what turn my -affairs were likely to take in that quarter. The season of Lent, which -now approached, furnished him with a plausible pretext to put in -practice the design he had formed of estranging me more from his person.</p> - -<p>He said “that he was resolved to quit his course of dissipation and -libertinism, and live a more regular life. I will even confess to you,” -added he, “that I have abandoned my designs on Fabia. My reason is -restored. I see the great impropriety I committed in attempting the -seduction of that lady; her husband is one of the first men in Rome, and -I shall never cease to reproach myself with having meditated the -dishonor of his wife.” He discoursed with me frequently in this style, -and I pretended to believe<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_267" id="page_267"></a>{267}</span> him. I did more, I applauded his resolution, -and in my turn counterfeited the repentant sinner; telling him, that I -would follow his example. In fact, I altered my conduct, and made all -kinds of hypocritical grimaces, to induce the servants, and particularly -my master, to think that I had abandoned love intrigues for ever.</p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XXXII" id="CHAP_XXXII"></a>CHAP. XXXII.<br /><br /> -<i>Guzman resolves to leave Rome on a Tour through Italy, with the intention of visiting every thing worthy of notice in that Country.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I spent</span> nearly all my time in my own room, where every day was passed in -reading, and in receiving a few visitors. One day, the young Spaniard -who had<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_268" id="page_268"></a>{268}</span> so generously proffered his services in the hog adventure, -chanced to call in, for the sole purpose, as he said, of inquiring after -my health. You will readily imagine that I did not fail to receive, in -the most cordial manner, a man to whom I felt myself so much obliged. I -repeated my most sincere thanks for his kind assistance on that -occasion, assuring him that I could not express how frequently I had -regretted that my ignorance of his name and abode had prevented an -earlier acknowledgment of his kindness. He answered with apparent -modesty, “that any thanks were superfluous; that being a Spaniard and a -man of honor, it was but a duty to afford every assistance in his power -to rescue a gentleman of my appearance from the insults of the mob.” No -sooner had he informed me he was my countryman, than I asked him in what -part of Spain he was born. “I am,” said he, “a native of Seville, and -<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_269" id="page_269"></a>{269}</span>Sayavedra is my name.” Upon hearing this, I redoubled my civilities, as -I knew it to be one of the most illustrious families in our city. His -accent was certainly Andalusian, and I was not myself better acquainted -with Seville: though in fact he was a native of Valencia, which he had -his reasons for concealing. I offered him my own services, and the -credit of my master upon any occasion he might require them. He thanked -me for my good wishes, and told me that he had a suit in the -Ecclesiastical Court, which he hoped would terminate favorably; but that -if the persons whose interest he relied on, should not be successful in -their exertions, he would certainly avail himself of my proffered -mediation in his favor. As in the course of conversation I happened to -mention that I might generally be found at home, as I very rarely left -the house, he inquired the reason. I frankly confessed to him that I did -not dare to shew myself in the streets since the affair of the hog; and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_270" id="page_270"></a>{270}</span> -that I wished the circumstance to die away and be wholly forgotten, -before I ventured much into public. He very much approved of this, and -offered to accompany me himself with his friends, in case any -unavoidable event should oblige me to go out. I felt truly grateful for -so obliging an offer, and embraced him with every token of friendship, -and overwhelmed him with acknowledgments; he was not behind hand with me -in politeness, and though he very much approved of my reasons for -confining myself at home, he seemed to think that I must lead a very -tiresome life, and recommended me to travel; he mentioned Venice, -Bologna, Pisa, and Florence, assuring me that I should find each of -those places well worthy of my inspection, and concluded by remarking -that I could return to Rome whenever I thought proper, after the -disagreeable affair had blown over.</p> - -<p>I gave Sayavedra to understand that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_271" id="page_271"></a>{271}</span> nothing could be more to my taste -than what he proposed, and that I should not hesitate to follow his -advice, provided I could gain the consent of my master, as I wished to -be ruled by him in every thing. Then this imp of Satan, who was both -Andalusian and Valencian, and who had I dare say (according to his own -account afterwards) been a native of half the cities of Europe, gave me -such an engaging description of all the places he mentioned, that my -inclination to visit them increased vehemently. My thoughts were so -occupied with this scheme, that the ensuing day, as I was dressing the -Ambassador, I spoke to him in these words. “I do not know, my Lord, if -you will approve of a design which I intend to execute if I obtain your -permission. I wish to make a tour of Italy, and indeed I think it would -not be amiss if I were to absent myself from Rome for a short period.” -His Excellency could not repress his joy in learning<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_272" id="page_272"></a>{272}</span> these words. -“Guzman,” cried he, “I am charmed with the scheme beyond measure: yes, -my friend, you will act wisely to keep out of sight for a few months; it -will be serviceable to both of us.</p> - -<p>“I am not ignorant of the reports which have been circulated to my -disadvantage, in consequence of your late adventure, which has in fact -made us the jest of the city. I have been confidentially informed of it. -In short we must separate. I have often wished to tell you so, but could -never resolve to undertake so disagreeable a task. Depend upon it, -Guzman,” continued this excellent master, “you shall find yourself in a -situation to travel in affluence to any country you may wish to visit: -you will be treated as a servant whom I esteem, and I part with you with -sincere regret.” When the Ambassador had concluded, I returned him a -thousand thanks for his favorable opinion of me,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_273" id="page_273"></a>{273}</span> and for his kind -intentions towards me; and I had no sooner left his apartment than I -despatched one of the scullions for the carrier of Sienna. I had already -begun to pack up my clothes in three trunks which had served for my -wardrobe, when Sayavedra, whom I already reckoned among the number of my -friends, paid me a visit. He affected some surprise at the sight of my -clothes and effects, all spread out in my chamber, and my trunks open -before me. “Ah, Signor Guzman!” cried he, “do you then intend to follow -my advice?” “You have guessed right,” answered I. “I have mentioned my -intention to my master, who has given it his hearty concurrence. Every -thing is decidedly fixed upon. I purpose in two days time to quit Rome -for Sienna, where I shall make some stay at the house of a friend of -mine, a merchant of the name of Pompey. I am not personally acquainted -with him, but he has in his letters testified<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_274" id="page_274"></a>{274}</span> so much gratitude for -some services I have had it in my power to render him in this city, that -I have no doubt that he will be delighted with an opportunity of -repeating his acknowledgments to me at his own house. So that I expect -much pleasure in my stay at Sienna, whither I am going to send forward -my baggage to-day, addressed to the care of Pompey, that I may not be -incumbered with it during my journey.”</p> - -<p>If Sayavedra paid all possible attention to this information, he -certainly paid no less to me, for while I was packing up my clothes in -the trunks, he took exact notice where I placed those of the greatest -value, and that he should see that I was possessed of such pleased my -foolish vanity and love of parade. A gold chain, some valuable jewels, -and three hundred good pistoles, which I had hoarded up during my stay -at the ambassador’s, did not escape his observation. I had wholly -quitted the gaming table, and I had saved<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_275" id="page_275"></a>{275}</span> up with the utmost frugality -every present that had been made me. Would to Heaven that I had been -destined to reap the fruits of my improved behaviour: but, alas! that -happiness was reserved for thieves, and not for me. I filled the other -two boxes with what was of less value, and having carefully locked them, -left the bunch of keys upon a table that stood by. We then continued our -conversation, until a lacquey came to inform me that I was wanted by a -person below. My room not appearing to be in a fit state for receiving -company, I begged my new friend to excuse me for a few minutes while I -waited on the person who wanted to speak to me. It was the carrier, whom -in the bustle I had almost forgotten having sent for. I told him on what -day I should set out, and that we might agree on the sum he was to -charge for the carriage of my baggage, I took him up stairs to shew him -of what it consisted. Meantime Sayavedra had done the deed. This<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_276" id="page_276"></a>{276}</span> -rascal, seeing the coast clear, took the impression of my keys on some -wax, which, I suppose, was part of the ammunition he always carried -about with him, and seeing a letter lying by, which he knew I had just -received from Pompey, he impressed that also into his service. I shewed -my trunks to the carrier, who lifted them up, that he might judge of -their weight. I gave him what he asked for their conveyance to Sienna, -and he withdrew, saying that he would return immediately with his people -to help him away with the boxes, and would set out with them in three -hours time. He had no sooner quitted the house than this friendly -Spaniard offered to take leave of me, under a pretence that his visit -retarded the preparations I was making for my journey. It was to no -purpose to assure him that he by no means incommoded me, nor even to -press him to stay and take breakfast with me: nothing could prevail upon -him to stay, as he was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_277" id="page_277"></a>{277}</span> upon the rack of impatience to go and order the -false keys. “At least then, my dear friend,” said I, “acquaint me with -your place of abode. I can by no means think of quitting Rome without -returning your visit.” He replied that he would rather dispense with -that ceremony, and gave me to understand with a very mysterious air, -that he lived privately with a lady, and for reasons, which as a man of -honor he must conceal, he was under the necessity of debarring himself -the pleasure of receiving the visits of his friends. As after hearing -this I could urge him no longer, I suffered this favorite of the ladies -to depart, who, no doubt, hastened with all speed to his companions, to -consult on the measures they should adopt to get possession of my -trunks. He was in league with four rogues, who had for their leader a -famous and notorious thief, called Alexander Bentivoglio: he generally -conducted their enterprises, and assigned to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_278" id="page_278"></a>{278}</span> each the part he was to -play, sustaining the chief character himself. But on this occasion he -yielded that honor to Sayavedra, who, being a Spaniard, appeared to him -the most proper person to represent a Castilian. As they were well -provided with disguises of all kinds, they dressed themselves in -character, and set off the next morning for Sienna, which they reached -on the following day. Sayavedra, followed by two of the others dressed -in livery, put up at the best hotel in the town, and gave himself out as -the gentleman in waiting to the Spanish Ambassador. As for Alexander, -who was well known for a rogue throughout Italy, he did not dare to play -the part of a third lacquey; but thought proper to lodge elsewhere with -the fourth cavalier of his company. Sayavedra, putting on a lofty air, -desired to be conducted to the best apartment in the hotel, and having -taken possession of it, sent one of the people to inform Signor Pompey -that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_279" id="page_279"></a>{279}</span> his friend Don Guzman had just arrived post from Rome, but was so -fatigued with his journey, that he begged to be excused waiting on him -at present. Pompey, delighted at the arrival of Don Guzman, hastened to -pay his devoirs to a man to whom he was under so much obligation. He -flies to the hotel, and is shewn into a fine chamber, where he sees a -cavalier reposing himself upon a couch, who, seeing him approach, runs -to meet him with open arms. “Ah, Signor Pompey,” cries he, “I flatter -myself that you will pardon the liberty I took in sending my baggage to -your house.” “I can readily excuse that,” replied Pompey, with a smile, -“but I shall not so soon forgive <i>your</i> coming to this place in -preference to my house.” “You are extremely polite,” replied the false -Don Guzman, “but, upon my honor, riding post has fatigued me so much, -that I could not think of being so troublesome.” “For that very reason,” -replied the merchant,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_280" id="page_280"></a>{280}</span> “you would have been more comfortable at my -house.” “Another reason too,” continued Sayavedra, “opposed the desire I -had to alight at your door; I am merely passing through Sienna. -To-morrow I set out for Florence by the order of my dear master, who has -given me some commissions to execute in that place; wherefore, I thought -it best not to give you the trouble of receiving me for so short a -visit; but, to make amends,” added he, with a gracious smile, “I will -return in a few days, and promise myself the pleasure of making some -stay with you.”</p> - -<p>Pompey did not let slip this opportunity of pressing him to take a -supper and bed at his house, though but for a single night, but he -declined it with so much earnestness that the merchant, fearful of -offending him, dropped the subject; after which he prepared to take his -leave, assuring him that he would not fail to return in the morning to -see him again<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_281" id="page_281"></a>{281}</span> before his departure, and wish him a pleasant journey. -Upon this, Sayavedra cried aloud to one of his valets, “here, Gradelin, -take these keys; they belong to my trunks. Signor Pompey will have the -goodness to allow me to send to his house for the clothes and linen -which I shall want during the next eight days. Don’t forget,” added he, -“to bring the dressing-gown, which you will find in the largest box.” -“Would it not be better,” interrupted Pompey, running inconsiderately -into the snare, “to let the trunks be brought here to you, when you can -take out what you want at your leisure.” “You are quite right,” said the -false Guzman, “I will make up a parcel of those things I shall -absolutely want, and put them into the smallest trunk, which I can carry -with me to Florence, and I will send back the other two, which I shall -be much obliged by your taking care of till my return.”</p> - -<p>The merchant then quitted the hotel,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_282" id="page_282"></a>{282}</span> and half an hour after my dear -trunks were carried thither by the companions of Sayavedra and one of -the grooms, accompanied by a person who presented to the false Guzman a -present from Pompey, consisting of a basket of fine fruit, and half a -dozen bottles of excellent wine. Sayavedra received this present with -all the politeness imaginable, and dismissed the bearer with a small -gratuity for himself, and a thousand thanks for his master.</p> - -<p>No sooner were the trunks conveyed to the hotel than Alexander -Bentivoglio, who had already learnt the success of the scheme, hastened -to the spot. The false keys they had obtained opened two of them, and -they picked the lock of the third, which contained my money and jewels, -which they divided among them, or, to speak more correctly, which Signor -Alexander appropriated to himself: for he was a bully who awed the rest -of the gang, so that he gave them just such a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_283" id="page_283"></a>{283}</span> share of the plunder as -he chose to part with. All that they received was thirty pistoles each, -and the least valuable clothes. After which, he filled the smallest -trunk with what remained for his share, and had the other two crammed -with straw and stones. Then, that no time might be lost, he despatched -one of the band to hire post horses to start by break of day for -Florence. This accommodation was easily procured by these worthy -gentlemen, who, when they paid the innkeeper, ordered him to send back -to Signor Pompey the two trunks which they left at the hotel.</p> - -<p>While this fine game was playing at Sienna, I was employed very busily -at Rome in bidding farewell to my real friends, without the slightest -suspicion of this trick. Nothing now remaining but to bid adieu to my -master, I entered the room with a sorrowful countenance; and after -having assured him, that I should never forget his kindness towards<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_284" id="page_284"></a>{284}</span> me, -I threw myself at his feet and kissed his hand, which I bathed with my -tears. He was as much affected as I was, and testified extreme regret at -parting with me.</p> - -<p>This excellent nobleman exhorted me to a virtuous course of life, in as -earnest and paternal a manner as if he had been speaking to his own -child. He even embraced me, and throwing round my neck a gold chain -which he usually wore, he told me, “that he gave it to me as a memorial -of his affection.” He added to this proof of his friendship a purse of -fifty pistoles, and one of the best horses in his stables. All the -servants followed his example, in expressing their unwillingness to part -with me: in truth I had never done them any ill offices with my master, -but had often rendered them services; so that there was not one of them -who had just reason to complain of me. I will not pass over in silence a -strange event which took place in Rome the day<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_285" id="page_285"></a>{285}</span> previous to my -departure, though it has no relation to my own adventures.</p> - -<p>The Ambassador had just finished supper, when a Neapolitan gentleman -came in, who often visited at the palace: he appeared considerably -agitated. “My Lord,” said he to his Excellency, “I am going to relate to -you a most extraordinary tragedy; I have just heard it, and you may -perceive the effect it has had upon me.” “I am very impatient to be -acquainted with it,” said my master. I then placed a chair for the -Neapolitan gentleman, who having seated himself, began as follows.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_286" id="page_286"></a>{286}</span></p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XXXIII" id="CHAP_XXXIII"></a>CHAP. XXXIII.<br /><br /> -<i>The loves of Dorido and Clorinia; or the Sever’d Hand.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">A Cavalier</span> of this city, called Dorido, a young man of an illustrious -family, an engaging person and great bravery, fell in love with a young -lady of the name, of Clorinia, who was about seventeen years old, -virtuous, beautiful, and of equal rank. The relations of this charming -girl brought her up with so much care, that they would not allow her to -make any connection by which her virtue might be at all endangered. She -was hardly ever suffered even to approach her latticed window, lest some -misfortune should be the consequence, as no one could gaze upon her -extreme beauty with impunity: either her father<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_287" id="page_287"></a>{287}</span> or her mother, or her -brother Valerio, attended her every where, and watched her every action. -Some months ago, Dorido having accidentally obtained a sight of her, -became violently enamoured: but could declare his love by no other means -than by casting empassioned glances towards the window of her chamber -when she happened to be there, as he passed by the house. If the homage -of his eyes was not always remarked by the object of it, at least it was -sometimes noticed; at all events, it was practised often enough to -produce the wished for effect.</p> - -<p>Clorinia at first was satisfied with looking at the Cavalier without -being seen; but soon she felt a wish that he should see her also, -without knowing why she wished it, and answering by little and little to -his amorous looks, she at last conceived a passion in the same way in -which she had inspired it,—I mean by appearing at her lattice. Dorido -soon<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_288" id="page_288"></a>{288}</span> guessed that he had made on her all the impression he desired, and -since he was denied more, indulged himself in the transports of -believing himself beloved. Nevertheless, he sought to reap a more solid -satisfaction from his conquest. He contrived to form an acquaintance -with Valerio, and succeeded so well as to attach him in such a degree, -that they were inseparable. Valerio could no longer live without his -friend Dorido; they were always together, sometimes at one house, -sometimes at another. This gave Dorido an opportunity of sometimes -seeing his charmer, and even speaking to her, but never alone. The eyes -of the lovers alone communicated to each other the secrets of their -hearts. This state of affairs, however, did not last for ever. Clorinia -made her maid Scintila the confidante of her passion; this old woman, -who had wit, and wished to serve her mistress, called upon Dorido, and -having met with him: “noble Cavalier,”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_289" id="page_289"></a>{289}</span> said she, “you need not attempt -to disguise the truth from me, I know the state of your heart. You love -Clorinia, and I am much mistaken if your love is not returned. You are -both dying with impatience for an interview, and I cannot see your -situation without pity; I shall never rest till I have procured you the -satisfaction you both so ardently desire.” The lover, transported with -joy at these words, thanked the Duenna for her good will, assuring her -that she should not find him ungrateful if she succeeded. Then making -use of so excellent an opportunity, he wrote a very passionate billet, -which he conjured her to convey to the amiable sister of Valerio. -Scintila returned immediately to her mistress, to acquaint her with the -step she had taken, and presented her with Dorido’s letter. Clorinia -blamed her for taking charge of it—but soon forgave her: and nothing -was now thought of but how to manage the interview with<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_290" id="page_290"></a>{290}</span> the lovers. The -lady raised so many difficulties, that she would have relinquished it -altogether, if the old woman, who was more ingenious, had not hit upon a -plan they both approved of. Scintila’s bedchamber was on the ground -floor; and adjoining to her room there was another, which was filled -with old and useless furniture: this room was lighted only by a small -window defended by two strong bars of iron, through which there was only -room sufficient for a hand to pass. This window, which was about five or -six feet from the ground, looked into a lane or blind alley quite -uninhabited; and the place appeared exactly suited to lovers, who were -satisfied to limit their happiness to conversation only. The old woman, -as soon as she saw her young mistress disposed to speak with Dorido -through this little window, hastened to inform the Cavalier, who on the -ensuing night at eleven o’clock placed himself at a convenient<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_291" id="page_291"></a>{291}</span> spot. He -approached the bars, where he found Scintila expecting him; who -requested him to wait patiently until the servants were gone to bed. He -did not languish long in suspense: the wished for moment soon arrived. -Clorinia came trembling to the window, at which her lover presented -himself in speechless agitation. As they both now loved for the first -time, they were agitated at the sight of each other, and the excess of -their feelings at first prevented them from speaking; but love has more -than one language. The lady passed one of her beautiful hands between -the bars of the window, and the lover clasping it with ardor, covered it -with a thousand kisses. At last, by degrees, they broke silence, and -indulged in passionate protestations of eternal love. Their souls were -so entirely occupied by the pleasure of seeing each other, that they -would have suffered daylight to find them together, if the old woman had -not interrupted<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_292" id="page_292"></a>{292}</span> their conversation to warn them that it was time to -separate. Before he would retire, Dorido entreated his mistress to allow -him to return the next night at the same hour to the window, and the -lady could not resolve to refuse him this favour. At last they -separated, equally delighted with the conversation they had just had -with each other, and filled with impatience for another interview. -Dorido especially was too much agitated to be able to take any rest, or, -to speak more correctly, he was miserable until the time of his return -to the window. You may easily suppose he did not fail to be punctual; -his mistress, finding no obstacle to her design, appeared again at the -same place, and their meeting was the second time less embarrassed by -timidity than the first. The Cavalier, who had a great deal of wit, said -a thousand fine things to his mistress, who replied to them in as lively -a manner. This conversation lasted for three hours, and their discourse -was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_293" id="page_293"></a>{293}</span> mingled with innocent caresses; so that the second interview -pleased them both as much as the first. The prudent Scintila was again -obliged to separate them. Again and again they accused her of cruelty, -not reflecting, that though she disturbed their pleasures, it was only -with a view to render them more lasting; for, in fact, they continued to -enjoy their stolen interviews with so much secrecy and good management, -that not a soul living knew of them but the old woman and one other -person.</p> - -<p>This other person was a young man of rank, named Horatio, a native of -this city. He also loved Clorinia, having by chance seen her at her -lattice, and had revealed his love to her by signs, but finding them -very badly received, he concluded that he had a rival who was more -happy, and judged that rival to be Dorido, as he was united in so strict -a friendship with Valerio. To clear up his well founded suspicions, he -sought<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_294" id="page_294"></a>{294}</span> out Dorido, who was one of his friends, to whom he spoke in -these words, “My dear Dorido, I am come to ask a favour of you, and I -conjure you not to refuse me; my happiness depends upon it. You are -continually with Valerio; you very often visit at his house, and I -cannot help thinking that you are in love with his sister: if I am -mistaken in my conjectures, oblige me by declaring it. You are too well -deserving the heart of that lady, for me to dispute it with you.” “You -love Clorinia then,” exclaimed Dorido, a little ruffled; “I confess that -I am quite charmed with her,” replied Horatio, “but nevertheless I do -you justice, and agree that you deserve better than I, the happiness of -being her husband.”—“Let us speak without flattery,” interrupted -Dorido. “I should doubtless consider myself highly honoured in becoming -the husband of Clorinia; but I frankly confess to you, that I have no -design to marry her.” “Is it possible,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_295" id="page_295"></a>{295}</span>” cried Horatio, eagerly, “that -you do not mean to marry her? ah! my friend, how different are my -intentions from yours. My highest ambition is to unite my fate with -hers; your views should yield to mine: sacrifice the mad hopes you have -conceived. I expect this effort from your friendship and your virtue.” -“You might add,” said Dorido, “that I owe it to the family of Clorinia; -yes,” continued he, “I will leave the field open to you; and if -Valerio’s sister should accept your addresses and consent to give you -her hand, I will cease to be your rival. I will do more, I will speak in -your favour, and I assure you that in that case it shall not be my fault -if your wishes be not fulfilled.” Horatio was so well satisfied with -this speech, that he testified his gratitude to Dorido, without thinking -that his promise was only conditional, and therefore that he ought to -mistrust it. He made no reflection of this kind, but even requested<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_296" id="page_296"></a>{296}</span> -Dorido to use his good offices in his behalf with Clorinia. Dorido could -not but be touched at the frankness of Horatio; and being generous -enough to prefer the happiness of his friend to his own inclinations, as -his views were purer, he resolved to do all in his power to wean his -affections from this lady. In fact the very next time he saw her, he -addressed her thus: “You are not ignorant, Madam, that Horatio is added -to the number of your slaves, but I am doubtful whether you know how -truly he adores you. Learn then that he thinks only of you, and that to -receive your hand is the only wish of his heart.” “I am charmed to hear -it,” replied Clorinia; “my reception of him shall convince you how -little I wish for any other lover but Dorido.” “I well know,” replied -the Cavalier, “the value of preference so glorious for me, but I should -think that I abused your goodness, if I was not capable of some -self-denial; Horatio<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_297" id="page_297"></a>{297}</span> has many good qualities, and when you know him -better you will not be sorry, perhaps, if your friends should second his -wishes.” “How!” cried the lady, “to hear you is enough to make me -believe that <i>you</i> would make me miserable; is it possible that you can -wish me to reply to the tenderness of Horatio?” “Never,” answered -Dorido; “I have no such thought: I only wished to convince you that if -you feel any inclination for Horatio, and your friends approve of his -addresses, my heart would in vain rebel; that I would sacrifice myself -to the happiness of my rival, to shew you how entirely devoted I am to -all your wishes.” “I fear,” replied she, “that the victim would be as -submissive as you represent him, and that your love for me is not quite -so sincere as you profess it to be. “But,” continued she, “I do not -pretend to put you to the trial. Dorido shall be my first lover and my -last: upon this assurance you<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_298" id="page_298"></a>{298}</span> may rely: let Horatio persevere as much -as he pleases in his love for me, he will never be more successful. I -will confess to you that I was acquainted with his passion, which I -learnt from his gestures before my window, and have been so little -pleased by it, that I have conceived a dislike for him, which almost -borders on hatred.”</p> - -<p>After these words, Dorido did not dare to mention Horatio again, as he -perceived very plainly that the topic was extremely disagreeable to -Clorinia. He changed the conversation for the rest of the time they were -together, and the night was passed in mutual protestations of eternal -love. On the next day Dorido received a visit from Horatio. “Well my -friend,” said the latter, “have you seen Clorinia,—did anything fall -from her lovely lips which could be interpreted in my favour?” “I am -very sorry,” replied the other, “that I cannot give you a very -flattering account;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_299" id="page_299"></a>{299}</span> you have but little room to hope; I extolled your -merit,—I pointed out the splendor of the alliance,—I represented you -as much more in love with her than perhaps you really are,—but the -cruel beauty silenced me by declaring that she could not reply to your -love, and that the soft bonds of Hymen should never unite her fate with -yours.” At these words, Horatio turned pale and fell into a profound -reverie, while Dorido sympathising in his grief like a true friend, -pointed out to him that he ought to relinquish his pretensions rather -than attempt to constrain the inclinations of Clorinia, and that there -were in Rome many other ladies equally amiable, who would do more -justice to his merit. “To conclude, my dear Horatio,” added he, “I am -sure I have given you no cause to be dissatisfied with me. I would -willingly have yielded the sister of Valerio to you, provided she had -been at all inclined to favour your passion. I would<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_300" id="page_300"></a>{300}</span> have made this -sacrifice to friendship. Can you now refuse to abandon a conquest that -you are by no means sure to gain?” Horatio then broke silence, and -replied to his friend: “Far from reproaching you, I must consider myself -under a great obligation to you for the service you have fruitlessly -attempted to render me, in pleading my cause. I confess that it is more -reasonable that I should renounce my pretensions to a hand which I am -not able to obtain, than that you should relinquish a heart which you -already possess—farewell my friend, I will spare no pains to enable me -to profit by your advice, and form an attachment elsewhere.” He quitted -Dorido as he concluded these words, and with an air which persuaded him, -that, struck by the force of his arguments, he intended to employ his -utmost endeavours to conquer his passion for a woman whose ingratitude -convinced him that he loved her too well. But his intentions<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_301" id="page_301"></a>{301}</span> were far -different. He looked upon Dorido as a traitor. “He is a false friend,” -said he to himself: “far from saying any thing to Clorinia in my favor, -he has only spoken to my disadvantage; however, be that as it may, I am -resolved to persevere; I will ask her in marriage through my father, who -will be more ready to serve me than my rival was.” Thus Horatio resolved -to impart his passion to his father, who approved of his choice, and -promised to interpose in his behalf, undertaking to speak to Clorinia’s -father on the subject; which he did soon afterwards. The two old men had -a long conversation together; and the result was that a marriage was -agreed upon, provided that the lady should show no repugnance to it; as -her father was resolved not to constrain her inclinations. But as soon -as a marriage with Horatio was proposed to her, she testified so much -aversion for that gentleman, that they lost all hopes of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_302" id="page_302"></a>{302}</span> her ever being -more favourably inclined towards him, and every thing was consequently -broken off. How pitiable is the situation of that man whose love -tyrannizes over his reason! Horatio, seeing that his passion was -despised, and his rival triumphant, felt all his love changed into hate: -he now considered Clorinia only as an object of detestation; and -refusing to listen to the voice of reason, he desired nothing more -ardently than an opportunity to avenge himself at once on the lady and -her favored lover. He employed a faithful servant of his own to watch -them, and having by this means discovered the time and place of their -nocturnal meetings, he conceived one of the most cruel and horrible -designs that ever entered into the heart of man. One night he took care -to be in the lane before the arrival of Dorido, and approached the -grated window where the sister of Valerio had already placed herself. -The darkness of the night caused her to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_303" id="page_303"></a>{303}</span> mistake him for the lover she -expected, and she addressed him with so much kindness that Horatio -became still more irritated than ever. The traitor took care not to -speak lest he should betray himself, but seizing with his left hand one -of the hands of Clorinia, which that lady, in her mistake, had extended -to him through the grating, he suddenly severed it from her arm with a -very sharp knife which he held in his right hand: after which he -speedily retreated from the lane, highly delighted with the success of -his scheme. Figure to yourself the deplorable spectacle which presented -itself to the relations of Clorinia, when, attracted to the spot by the -cries of Scintila, they rushed half undressed into the room where the -unfortunate lady lay stretched on the floor senseless, and weltering in -her blood. But when they perceived the loss of her hand, the unfortunate -parents fainted on the spot, and it was not without difficulty that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_304" id="page_304"></a>{304}</span> -they were recalled to life by the exertions of Valerio and the servants, -who were aroused by the noise.</p> - -<p>The father and mother being a little recovered, began to doubt as well -as their son, whether Clorinia were not to blame in this lamentable -affair. This was a mystery which Scintila could easily have elucidated, -if she had not thought it more advisable to defer this explanation until -a more convenient opportunity; so that they now thought only of saving -Clorinia’s life if possible. Valerio instantly withdrew to his chamber, -where he dressed himself with all expedition, in order that he might go -himself, and bring a very skilful surgeon, who was a friend of his; -while the father, after he had enjoined the strictest secrecy to all his -servants on the subject of this disastrous affair, endeavoured with -their assistance to staunch the blood of his daughter, by wrapping up in -linen the arm which had been so cruelly mangled.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_305" id="page_305"></a>{305}</span></p> - -<p>Valerio was soon ready; he went out and first of all hastened into the -lane, to see if he could by the light of a lantern which he ordered a -servant to carry before him, discover the lost hand: but Horatio had -carried it away with him, and nothing was to be seen beneath the little -window but a track of blood running down the wall. The wretched brother -of Clorinia felt all his grief renewed at this sight; but as he -proceeded, he met and recognised Dorido, who was hastening towards the -lane with all the feelings of a happy lover. “Ah, my friend!” cried -Valerio to him in a mournful voice, “whither are you going? I see that -you are unacquainted with the tragic catastrophe that has just occurred. -Oh wretched Clorinia!” “Gracious Heaven,” cried her unfortunate lover, -“what misfortune do you deplore,—what has happened?” “A misfortune,” -answered Valerio, “which our family ought to conceal from all mankind; -but<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_306" id="page_306"></a>{306}</span> I will not hide any thing from you; I ought even to inform you of -it as a friend who will not refuse to assist me in discovering the -assassin of my unhappy sister.” These last words pierced Dorido’s heart; -in a faint and trembling voice he enquired what was the matter. Valerio -told him in a few words, and requested him to accompany him to the -surgeon, but Dorido refused, saying to him, with an air which shewed the -fury that began to animate him; “No no, Valerio, I shall employ my time -better; there is no occasion to engage ourselves both on the same -errand, when there is so much more to be done. Do you alone undertake to -conduct the surgeon to your house, while I seek for the barbarian who -could commit a crime which no one can hear of without trembling. If I -can discover this perfidious wretch, let him expect a chastisement -worthy of his treason. In a word,” added he, “leave me to revenge you; I -feel as<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_307" id="page_307"></a>{307}</span> acutely as you the misfortune of Clorinia.” Upon this the two -friends separated. Dorido returned homewards, vowing to listen only to -his anger in the revenge which he purposed to take upon Horatio; for he -could suspect no one but him of having committed this action. As soon as -he arrived at home, he shut himself up in his chamber that he might -freely lament the loss of his mistress. “My dear Clorinia,” cried he, -“my rival, envious of your love for me, has deceived you in the darkness -of this fatal night: you have mistaken him for your Dorido; I am then -the unhappy cause of the misfortune which has happened to you. Were it -not for me, you still would have been living in perfect peace with your -father. It is I who have assassinated you; but your death shall but -little precede my own. No sooner shall I have sacrificed Horatio to your -ashes, than I also will join you in eternal darkness. Oh that it were -permitted to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_308" id="page_308"></a>{308}</span> thee to see and rejoice in the just vengeance which I will -inflict on the wretch who has dared to deprive thee of thy innocent -hand!”</p> - -<p>Thus did Dorido bewail his mistress’s fate until day-break, when he -repaired to her house, where every one was in the greatest distress and -agitation. Valerio and his father seemed to be doubly afflicted at the -sight of him, and they embraced each other almost drowned in tears. “Oh -Dorido, my son,” said the old man, “my daughter is at the point of -death, having lost so great a quantity of blood as alone would be -sufficient to terminate her existence. Was there ever so unfortunate a -father? Who can have been capable of committing so horrible an act? What -punishment can console us under our present affliction?” “Sir,” answered -Dorido, “suspend we our lamentations for a while, and let us think of -one thing only which concerns us all. The author of this misery must -perish;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_309" id="page_309"></a>{309}</span> I will inflict on him an adequate punishment. But before I -execute a revenge on him which shall astonish and horrify posterity, I -must make myself what I now am not. Receive me, therefore, for your -son-in-law; it will be more for the honour of us all that it should be -said that Clorinia was avenged by her husband, than by her father’s -friend.”</p> - -<p>Both father and son accepted Dorido’s proposal most willingly. In fact, -it was very honourable towards them, and very necessary to prevent the -disadvantageous reports which might be circulated respecting their -misfortune. The old man went himself to acquaint Clorinia with it, who, -debilitated as she was from her extreme illness, shed tears of joy, and -exclaimed, with transport, that “were she but the wife of Dorido, she -could die contented.” She requested to be allowed to speak to him; and -as she had then but little fever, it was considered that this -consolation might be allowed<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_310" id="page_310"></a>{310}</span> her without danger; but no sooner did he -appear at her bed-side, than she fainted from extreme joy. She was soon -restored to her senses; but the surgeon, fearful of a relapse, would not -permit the lovers to converse together. They were obliged, therefore, to -express their thoughts by looks instead of words. Dorido, finding that -his presence seemed to console the invalid, would not leave her the -whole of the day. In the evening a priest and notary arrived, and the -marriage was celebrated before three relations, who had been sent for as -witnesses.</p> - -<p>Clorinia was much better the two following days, and the surgeon seemed -to entertain some hopes of her life; but he was deceived. On the third -day the fever returned with such increased violence, that he pronounced -her dissolution to be at hand. Dorido, now giving her up for dead, no -longer delayed the execution of his vengeance. He went in search of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_311" id="page_311"></a>{311}</span> -Horatio to every place in which he was likely to find him; and having -met him, he was most profuse in his compliments, and, as though he knew -nothing of what had happened, invited him to sup at his house. Horatio, -who had committed this barbarous action in the most private manner, and -who as yet had not heard the affair whispered either in the City or in -Clorinia’s neighbourhood, imagined that Dorido could not yet have heard -of it, and suspecting no ill design, went to sup with him as he had -frequently done before. They both sat down to table, and began to eat -and drink. Dorido had caused some lethargic drugs to be mixed with -Horatio’s wine; so that that gentleman soon fell into a sort of trance, -during which Dorido and his two servants bound his hands and feet, and -having slung a rope round his neck, with another rope they bound him to -a pillar in the parlour, after having carefully shut<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_312" id="page_312"></a>{312}</span> every door in the -house. In this condition they chafed his nose and temples with some -strong spirits and restored him to his senses.</p> - -<p>When the wretched Horatio found himself so extremely fast bound that he -could not stir, he soon perceived the danger which threatened him, and, -hoping to soften his rival’s anger, he confessed his crime, and implored -his mercy in terms the most pathetic that his fear of death could -inspire him with. Useless were his prayers! he had to appease an enemy -who was inexorable, a husband who beheld his dying wife before his eyes! -Dorido, so far from being moved by his entreaties, cut off both his -hands himself, and bade his servants to strangle him, ordering them -afterwards to carry his corpse at midnight to the top of the street, -with his two hands tied to his neck. As for himself, not being able to -support the loss of his wife, he<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_313" id="page_313"></a>{313}</span> left Rome this morning. It is not -known whither he has directed his steps; and I am just informed that -Clorinia died a few hours after his departure.</p> - -<p>The Neapolitan gentleman here concluded his story, which much affected -the Ambassador and his company, who deplored the lady’s untimely fate. -They pitied Dorido also; but all concluded by observing that in the -conduct of both the gentlemen there was manifested a spirit of vengeance -which savoured very little of Christianity.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_314" id="page_314"></a>{314}</span></p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XXXIV" id="CHAP_XXXIV"></a>CHAP. XXXIV.<br /><br /> -<i>Guzman leaves Rome, and arrives at his friend Pompey’s house at Sienna, where he hears bad news.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> day subsequent to this sad catastrophe, which was the general -subject of conversation in Rome, I took my leave of that city, well -mounted, but poorer, alas! than I imagined. Assuming a consequential -air, and anticipating much pleasure, I proceeded towards Sienna, where I -imagined my friend Pompey would be most anxiously expecting me. Having -arrived there, I repaired straightway to his house.</p> - -<p>He was at home, and received me in a civil manner, though not without -evident embarrassment. “Signor Pompey,”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_315" id="page_315"></a>{315}</span> said I, embracing him, “your -friend Guzman can scarcely express his extreme joy at being at length -introduced to your personal acquaintance.” My very name seemed to -astonish him. “How,” answered he with surprise, “can you be that Guzman -to whom I am under so many and such great obligations?” I was almost -frozen by these words, for I knew they could portend no good. “For what -possible reason,” cried I with emotion, “can you be so much astonished -at seeing me?” “You will soon know that to your cost,” replied the -merchant. “I see plainly that I have been duped, and that you are in -reality that Guzman d’Alfarache whom I expected.”</p> - -<p>These words were like a thunder-bolt to me, and I instantly foresaw that -some accident had happened to my property. Impatient to discover the -truth, I intreated Pompey to explain himself more clearly. “Well then,” -said he, “you must know that there has passed through<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_316" id="page_316"></a>{316}</span> Sienna a cavalier -calling himself gentleman to the Spanish Ambassador, who came hither -from Rome, followed by two servants, on his road to Florence with -despatches from his master. This spark introduced himself to me as the -Guzman d’Alfarache who had been of so much service to me in my late -law-suit, and he had in his possession the keys of your trunks.” I -thought I should have fallen into convulsions even at these words, but a -more circumstantial detail of the whole adventure drove me almost to -madness. I requested to be allowed to inspect my trunks. He conducted me -immediately to the chamber prepared for my reception, and pointing out -two large ones, “There are the two that are left behind,” said he; “but -even these have been in their power as well as the third.” I sighed -bitterly when I recollected that my gold and jewels were in the one that -was missing. I failed not, however, to open the others, and should have -been<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_317" id="page_317"></a>{317}</span> somewhat appeased if the thieves, satisfied with having my money, -had not meddled with my clothes; but no such consolation was in store -for me.</p> - -<p>In justice to Pompey, I must acknowledge that he was not less afflicted -than myself when I informed him that I had been robbed of two thousand -crowns. After all, however, his affliction may have been principally -caused by the fear that I should hold him accountable for the loss of my -property, whatever he might be able to urge in his own justification. So -far from thinking of making him uneasy on this point, however, I tried -all in my power to conceal the grief which consumed me. It appeared to -me that a man who wished to assume the carriage of a gentleman ought not -to shew much vexation at the loss of his clothes. Nevertheless, I was -really half distracted, and Heaven knows I had reason enough, not being -in possession of another coat except the one I had on,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_318" id="page_318"></a>{318}</span> nor any linen -but two shirts in my portmanteau.</p> - -<p>In vain did I rack my brain with conjectures as to who could be the -person who had taken the impression of my keys. I knew not whom to -suspect. As for Sayavedra, I esteemed him too sincerely to entertain the -slightest mistrust of him. It was not Pompey’s fault, however, if I was -so long in discovering the thief; for as, in his relation of this -affair, he described the person of the false Guzman, he gave me an exact -portrait of Sayavedra; the figure, the hair, the voice, and the manners, -were all his. So prejudiced was I in his favour, that I should have -thought it quite a crime to have suspected him on account of the -resemblance. I will say more: though I remembered that I had left him -alone in my chamber when the carrier of Sienna came to look at my boxes, -my respect for Sayavedra was proof against the recollection of even this -circumstance.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_319" id="page_319"></a>{319}</span></p> - -<p>While my host and I were making very useless reflections upon my loss, a -servant came to tell us that supper was ready. We accordingly went down -into the parlour, and sat down to table with gloomy faces, and without -much inclination to eat. Pompey, perceiving that this vexatious affair -had completely taken away my appetite, said to me, “Signor Guzman, your -property is not so entirely lost as to render its recovery quite -hopeless. I have not been idle; the Bargello<a name="FNanchor_A_1" id="FNanchor_A_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_1" class="fnanchor">[A]</a>, who is a friend of -mine, has undertaken the pursuit of the thieves; and I assure you I -place great reliance on his exertions. He will return this evening or -to-morrow, and I trust he will be the bearer of good news.” “I hope so -too,” answered I; “but, between ourselves, I don’t think that much -confidence ought<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_320" id="page_320"></a>{320}</span> to be placed in persons of that kind: especially in an -affair where restitution is to be made.”</p> - -<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_A_1" id="Footnote_A_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_1"><span class="label">[A]</span></a> The Translator has not been able to meet with the word -“Bargello” in either of the best Spanish Dictionaries; but presumes that -it must signify a Magistrate, or perhaps inferior Officer of Justice.</p></div> - -<p>Though the table was covered with well-dressed dishes and excellent -wine, we were so little inclined to eat or drink, that supper was soon -over. As I pretended to be very much fatigued, my host conducted me to -my chamber, and soon withdrew, to my great satisfaction, for I found his -conversation very tiresome. I spent part of the night in pacing my -chamber absorbed in meditation: and did not retire to rest till near -day-break; when my mind was so overwhelmed and fatigued with the -different thoughts that agitated it by turns, that at last I fell -asleep. My slumbers were soon disturbed; a loud noise on the staircase -awoke me suddenly, and I heard several persons vociferating at the same -time, “The thief is taken! the thief is taken!”</p> - -<p>I drew back the bed-curtains, being scarcely able to believe my ears, -and I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_321" id="page_321"></a>{321}</span> was going to rise, that I might know what to think of it; when in -rushed the merchant’s whole family, wife, children, and servants, all -speaking together, and repeating what I had heard before: I requested -the wife to explain the meaning of all this. “It means,” said she “that -the Bargello is expected in the course of an hour, with one of the -thieves in his custody: he sent one of his attendants forward to give -Pompey notice of it, who is dressing himself that he may wait upon you.” -My host was not slow in bringing this man before me, to whom I put some -questions, and he informed me, “that the thief who was taken was he who -had sustained the character of Guzman.”</p> - -<p>This news revived me a little, and I began to flatter myself, that I -should recover at least a part of my effects, since we had apprehended -the thief. Pompey also indulged the same hopes, and the whole family -evinced the greatest joy at<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_322" id="page_322"></a>{322}</span> this fortunate event. I gave a pistole to -the man who had ridden all the way at full gallop to bring me the news; -and hastened to dress myself, that I might recognize the scoundrel who -had personated me. Pompey also prepared to accompany me, that he might -speak to the magistrates in my favour.</p> - -<p>While we were conversing on the subject, a servant came to inform us, -that the Bargello was at the door on horseback, and that his myrmidons -were conveying the thief to prison. The merchant sent a request to the -Provost that he would alight and favour us with his company up stairs.</p> - -<p>The Bargello, as great a scoundrel as ever was born, marched in with an -air of triumph. First of all he related to us the intrepid manner in -which he had secured the thief, and made me quite impatient by long -digressions which did little honour to his modesty. I interrupted his -heroic recital, to inquire what<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_323" id="page_323"></a>{323}</span> was of most importance to me to know, -namely, whether he could give me any information respecting my money. -“As for the money,” said he, with an air of great nonchalance, “he had -about him but five and twenty pistoles: which is not much to be wondered -at. Though he played the chief character in the piece, he is not at the -head of the gang. That honour belongs to a certain Alexander -Bentivoglio, of whom I have heard but too often: and who may yet some -day fall into my clutches; however,” continued he, “console yourself: -the scoundrel who is the cause of your misfortune is in our power, and I -promise you that he shall be hung.” I could scarcely repress my rage at -this impertinent discourse. I fairly wished them all at the devil -together. The Provost who talked to me in that manner,—his man who had -cost me a pistole,—and the merchant who, by his imprudence, had placed -me in this embarrassing situation. I began<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_324" id="page_324"></a>{324}</span> to be angry in good earnest. -The Bargello perceiving that so far from thinking of rewarding him as he -expected, I was highly dissatisfied, took his leave very much displeased -with my Lordship; and telling Pompey that if he had known that I should -have received his services so ungratefully, he should not have taken -much trouble about the affair.</p> - -<p>As soon as he was gone, Pompey called for his cloak, and expressed an -intimation of going to solicit the judges. As for me, I had a great -curiosity to see the thief who was in prison, and having repaired -thither, it was with no small astonishment that I recognized Sayavedra; -though he had been accurately described to me. He threw himself at my -feet the moment he saw me. He was as pale as death, and earnestly begged -me to pardon him. “My dear Signor Don Guzman,” cried he, drowned in -tears, “have pity on a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_325" id="page_325"></a>{325}</span> wretch who sincerely repents having betrayed -you.” He was going on in this strain, for he had prepared a long -harangue to excite my pity; but I did not allow him time to say more. I -loaded him with reproaches; but even while I thus reviled him I felt my -anger growing weaker every moment. All the feelings of indignation which -agitated me gave way insensibly to emotions of pity, which I should have -been weak enough to have suffered him to perceive, had I not hastened -from the presence of a traitor, who would at least have been condemned -to the galleys, if the administrators of justice in Sienna had acted -with a little wholesome severity.</p> - -<p>The judges of that period however, as you will soon perceive, acted as a -thousand others have done before them, and ten thousand since. The next -day they sent to me one of their clerks to propose that I should bind -myself to prosecute the prisoner. I answered that I should<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_326" id="page_326"></a>{326}</span> be very -ready to do it, provided that they would engage that my lost property -should be restored to me; but that otherwise I would not: that I did not -wish for the death of the offender, and that hanging him would not at -all replenish my purse; in short that I wished for nothing but my money -and my clothes, and that I had given up all hopes of them, since they -were in too good hands for me to have any chance of regaining them. The -clerk had no sooner reported to the judges what I said, than considering -that there was no more spoil to be gleaned from this affair, except the -pistoles which they had taken from the thief they had secured, they -satisfied themselves with condemning him to the pillory for two or three -hours, and perpetual banishment from Sienna. These upright magistrates -urged in defence of so mild a punishment, that as the culprit had no -marks of branding on his shoulders, it was a proof that he had never -been guilty<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_327" id="page_327"></a>{327}</span> before, and that consequently he deserved some indulgence. -A pretty reason this for suffering a professed thief to escape! And is -it not a most judicious arrangement to banish him from the country where -he had robbed? It was as if they had said to him, “Go friend, and rob -elsewhere.”</p> - -<p>I did not yet know what punishment the judges intended to impose on -Sayavedra, and I was at dinner with Pompey, when one his servants, who -had heard the sentence pronounced, rushed into the room quite out of -breath, and cried out with as much apparent satisfaction, as if he had -announced the restoration of my property: “Huzza! Signor Don Guzman, the -thief who has robbed you, is condemned to the Pillory and the iron -collar, and he is just now going to be fastened into it. It will be your -own fault if you do not witness his punishment.” I regretted at this -moment that this fool was not my own servant, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_328" id="page_328"></a>{328}</span> that I was not at -liberty to knock his teeth down his throat for it; for if ever I was -tempted to strike a man, it was upon this occasion. I was obliged -however to endure this mortification, as well as the cold treatment -which I experienced from that time from my host. He changed all at once -from one extreme to the other, and looked upon me only as a stranger who -incommoded him, and whom he wished to get rid of.</p> - -<p>Is it possible! you will say. What the Pompey to whom you had been so -serviceable, and who in his letters professed himself so sincerely -obliged,—could this very Pompey repay you with ingratitude? alas it was -but too true. He assumed all at once a cool and distant air, and gave me -to understand by his behaviour, that he desired my absence. This conduct -was owing in a great measure to my telling him that I should not return -to Rome for some time. He concluded from this, that I should not have<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_329" id="page_329"></a>{329}</span> -it in my power to render him any further service, and in all -probability, as we should have no continued connexion between us, he was -quite indifferent as to whether I was dissatisfied with him or not. He -even went so far as to ask me without ceremony when I intended to -proceed on my journey. I answered him that I should set out the next -day; upon which he replied with a distant air, that he was sorry to part -with me so soon, though he never made the slightest motion to press me -to stay any longer. I was not a little vexed to think of having taken so -much pains to oblige a man who felt so little gratitude, that far from -offering me any assistance to make me some amends for what he had caused -me to lose, he was so unfeeling as to count the minutes with impatience -until I was out of his house. So that the first thing I did the next -morning was to take leave of Signor Pompey, and I took care by<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_330" id="page_330"></a>{330}</span> my -manner towards him, to let him see the opinion I entertained of his -conduct.</p> - -<hr /> - -<h2><a name="CHAP_XXXV" id="CHAP_XXXV"></a>CHAP. XXXV.<br /><br /> -<i>Soon after his departure from Sienna, Guzman meets with Sayavedra, whom he takes into his service, and carries with him to Florence.</i></h2> - -<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I was</span> so anxious to escape from Sienna, that clapping spurs to my horse, -I disappeared like lightning from the eyes of the ungrateful Pompey. -After proceeding some miles, I perceived at a distance a man on foot, -who appeared exactly to resemble my thief Sayavedra. In fact it was he, -who, in pursuance of his sentence of banishment, was hastening to quit -the territory of Sienna, to exercise his talents in some other place.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_331" id="page_331"></a>{331}</span></p> - -<p>I could not help feeling an emotion of pity, at the sight of this -miserable wretch; and thinking less of his treachery than of the -infinite assistance he had rendered me in the hog adventure, I could not -refrain from speaking to him. He also had recognised me, and when I came -near him, ran up to me bathed in tears, and, clasping my knees, he -entreated me a thousand times to pardon his ingratitude and his perfidy. -He added, that he wished with all his soul, to expiate his crime, to be -my slave for life; and that if I would receive him, I might rely on his -oath, that he would be the most faithful servant in the world. After I -had reflected on this proposal, I thought I had better accept it.</p> - -<p>Do you not blame me, friendly reader, for encumbering myself with an -attendant whose character I was aware of, and who had already robbed me, -and would not fail to give me another specimen of his skill the first -opportunity? I know<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_332" id="page_332"></a>{332}</span> by my own experience, that evil propensities are -not so soon got rid of; but now that from my own poverty I had nothing -to lose, honesty did not appear to me to be an indispensable requisite -in a servant. In the <i>profession</i> that I foresaw I should soon be -obliged to follow, I should I knew have occasion for a <i>virtuoso</i>, and -Sayavedra was one exactly for my purpose.</p> - -<p>I took him, therefore, into my service; and I had as good reason -afterwards to congratulate myself on having renewed my acquaintance with -him, as I had before to regret that I had ever known him. He soon -convinced me, when we arrived at the inn where we intended to sleep, -that I had acted most wisely in attaching him to me. He was always on -the alert to contribute in every way to my convenience, and I could not -sufficiently admire the attention with which he endeavoured to -anticipate my every desire. In short, his extreme zeal, good<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_333" id="page_333"></a>{333}</span> -understanding, and spirits, conspired to console me considerably for the -loss of my goods. Very early the next morning we set out again, one on -horseback and the other on foot, and proceeded to Florence, which I had -heard so highly spoken of. Praised, however, as it had been to me, the -magnificence of its buildings amazed me exceedingly. Sayavedra, who -observed my astonishment, said to me with a smile, “it appears to me, -that you are somewhat agreeably surprised at the sight of this city.” -“In truth, you have guessed rightly,” replied I, “I am completely -charmed with it; I did not think there was another Rome in the world.” -“And yet,” replied he, “you see nothing of its beauties to what may be -seen. Some of the houses here, which might pass for as many palaces, are -ornamented within with some of the most beautiful works of architecture. -Florence may with great truth be called the eighth wonder of the world; -since<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_334" id="page_334"></a>{334}</span> it is the flower of flowers, and the flower of all Italy.” -Sayavedra then related to me the History of Florence, from the time of -the civil wars of Catiline.</p> - -<p>My squire Sayavedra, who was well acquainted with the town, from having -lived there some time, conducted me to one of the best inns, where he -was pleased to make me pass for a Spanish gentleman, named Don Guzman, -and nephew to the Ambassador from Spain to Rome. With the greatest -effrontery he communicated my quality to the landlord <i>in confidence</i>. -Being without baggage, and having only one horse between us, seemed to -belie his assertions; but to throw something like the appearance of -probability on his story, he said that we had been obliged to set out in -great haste, and that we expected a servant to follow us instantly with -our trunks. Although the inn was full of gentlemen of the first -importance, I was shewn into one of the best rooms, the landlord having -been<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_335" id="page_335"></a>{335}</span> given to understand that I had come to Florence on an affair of -consequence, and that I should probably make a long stay; this caused -him to behave in the most respectful manner to me.</p> - -<p>The next day, the prudent Sayavedra was of opinion that we ought to buy -a large chest, and give out that it contained our most valuable -property, though intending to fill it at our leisure with whatever -fortune might be pleased to send us. I approved of his idea, and charged -him to make the purchase immediately.</p> - -<p class="c"> -END OF VOL. II.<br /> -<br /> -London: Printed by J. Nichols and Son,<br /> -25, Parliament-street, Westminster.<br /> -</p> - -<hr class="full" /> - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The life and adventures of Guzman -D'Alfarache, or the Spanish Rogue, by Alain-René Le Sage - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LIFE D'ALFARACHE, VOL. 2/3 *** - -***** This file should be named 52938-h.htm or 52938-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/2/9/3/52938/ - -Produced by Josep Cols Canals, Chuck Greif and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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