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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/5296.txt b/5296.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..36ddcb5 --- /dev/null +++ b/5296.txt @@ -0,0 +1,944 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Ebook The Picture &c., by Jean de La Fontaine +#22 in our series by Jean de La Fontaine (The Tales and Novels) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** + + +Title: The Tales and Novels, v22: The Picture &c. + +Author: Jean de La Fontaine + +Release Date: March, 2004 [EBook #5296] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on June 21, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + + + + + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES AND NOVELS OF FONTAINE, V22 *** + + + +This eBook was produced by David Widger + + + +[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the +file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an +entire meal of them. D.W.] + + + + + + THE TALES AND NOVELS + OF + J. DE LA FONTAINE + + + + Volume 22. + + Contains: + The Picture + The Pack-Saddle + The Ear-maker, and The Mould-Mender + + + + THE PICTURE + + + SOLICITED I've been to give a tale, + In which (though true, decorum must prevail), + The subject from a picture shall arise, + That by a curtain's kept from vulgar eyes. + My brain must furnish various features new: + What's delicate and smart produce to view; + By this expressed, and not by t'other said: + And all so clear, most easy to be read, + By ev'ry fool, without the aid of notes, + That idiot's bad indeed who never quotes. + + CATULLUS tells us, ev'ry matron sage + Will peep most willingly (whate'er her age), + At that gigantick gift, which Juno made, + To Venus' fruit, in gardens oft displayed. + If any belle recede, and shun the sight, + Dissimulation she supposes right. + + THIS principle allowed, why scruples make? + Why, less than eyes, should ears a license take? + But since 'tis so resolved I'll do my best, + And naught in open terms shall be expressed: + A veil shall over ev'ry charm be cast, + Of gauze indeed, and this from first to last, + So nicely done, that howsoever tost, + To none I trust will any thing be lost. + Who nicely thinks, and speaks with graceful ease; + Can current make just whatsoe'er he please; + For all will pass, as I have often known: + The word well chosen, pardon soon is shown, + The sex o'erlook the thing no more the same, + The thought remains, but 'tis without a name; + No blush is raised; no difficulty found; + Yet ev'ry body understands around. + + AT present, much I need this useful art: + Why? you will ask; because, when I impart + Such wondrous circumstances, ev'ry belle, + Without reserve, will con them over well. + To this I answer: female ears are chaste, + Though roguish are their eyes, as well as taste. + + BE that as 'twill, I certainly should like, + With freedom to explain, by terms oblique, + To belles, how this was broken:--that was down: + Assist me pray, ye NINE of high renown; + But you are maids, and strangers, we agree, + To LOVE'S soft scenes, not knowing A from B. + Remain then, Muses, never stir an inch, + But beg the god of verse, when at a pinch, + To help me out and kind assistance lend, + To choose expressions which will not offend, + Lest I some silly things should chance to say, + That might displeasure raise, and spoil my lay. + Enough, howe'er, we've on the subject said: + 'Tis time we t'wards the painting should be led, + Which an adventure you will find contains, + That happened once in Cupid's famed domains. + + IN former days, just by Cythera town + A monastery was, of some renown, + With nuns the queens of beauty filled the place, + And gay gallants you easily might trace. + The courtier, citizen, and parson too, + The doctor and the bachelor you'd view, + With eager steps:--all visits thither made; + And 'mong the latter, one (a pleasing blade) + Had free access: was thought a prudent friend, + Who might to sisters many comforts lend; + Was always closely shaved and nicely dressed; + And ev'ry thing he said was well expressed; + The breath of scandal, howsoever pat, + Ne'er lighted on his neat cravat nor hat. + + TWO nuns alternatively, from the youth; + Experienced many services, in truth; + The one had recently a novice been; + Few months had passed since she complete was seen; + The other still the dress of novice wore; + The youngest's age was seventeen years, not more + Time doubtless very proper (to be plain) + Love's wily thesis fully to sustain: + The bachelor so well the fair had taught, + And they so earnestly the science sought, + That by experience both the art had learned, + And ev'ry thing most perfectly discerned. + + THESE sisters eagerly had made one day + An assignation with the lover gay; + To have the entertainment quite complete, + They'd Bacchus, Ceres too, who Venus greet: + With perfect neatness all the meats were served, + And naught from grace and elegancy swerved; + The wines, the custards, jellies, creams, and ice: + The decorations, ev'ry thing was nice; + What pleasing objects and delights were viewed! + The room with sweetest flow'rs fair Flora strewed; + A sort of garden o'er the linen traced + Here lakes of love:--there names entwined were placed; + Magnificence like this the nuns admired, + And such amusements ardently desired. + Their beauty too incited to be free; + A thousand matters filled their souls with glee; + In height the belles were pretty much the same + Like alabaster fair; of perfect frame; + In num'rous corners Cupid nestling lay: + Beneath a stomacher he'd slyly play, + A veil or scapulary, this or that, + Where least the eye of day perceived he sat, + Unless a lover called to mystick bow'rs, + Where he might hearts entwine with chains of flow'rs; + A thousand times a day the urchin flew, + With open arms the sisters to pursue; + Their charms were such in ev'ry air and look, + Both (one by one) he for his mother took. + + WITH anxious looks, the ladies thus prepared, + Expected him who all their kindness shared; + Now they bestowed abuse; next fondly praised: + Then of his conduct dark suspicions raised, + Conceived, a new amour him kept away: + What can it be, said one, that makes him stay? + Of honour an affair.--love--sickness--what? + Said t'other whether it be this or that, + If here again his face he ever show, + A pretty trick in turn we'll let him know. + + WHILE thus the couple sought their plot to frame, + A convent porter with a burden came, + For her who kept the stores of ev'ry kind, + Depositary of the whole designed. + 'Twas merely a pretence, as I am told: + The things were not required for young or old; + But she much appetite had got in truth, + Which made her have recourse to such a youth, + Who was regarded, in repasts like these, + A first rate cook that all prepared at ease. + + THIS awkward, heavy lout mistook the cell; + By chance upon our ladies' room he fell, + And knocked with weighty hands: they ope'd the door. + And gave abuse, but soon their anger o'er, + The nuns conceived a treasure they had found, + And, laughing heartily, no longer frowned, + But both exclaimed at once: let's take this fool; + Of him we easily can make a tool; + As well as t'other, don't you think he'll do? + The eldest added:--let's our whim pursue; + 'Tis well determined;--What were we to get, + That here we waited, and are waiting yet? + Fine words and phrases; nothing of the kind; + This wight 's as good, for what we have a mind, + As any bachelor or doctor wise + At all events, for present, he'll suffice. + + SHE rightly judged; his height, form, simple air, + And ev'ry act, so clearly void of care, + Raised expectation; this was AEsop's man, + He never thought: 'twas all without a plan; + Both ate and drank, and, had he been at will, + Would matters far have pushed, though void of skill. + + FAMILIAR grown, the fellow ready seemed, + To execute whate'er was proper deemed; + To serve the convent he was porter made, + And in their wishes nuns of course obeyed. + + 'TIS here begins the subject we've in view, + The scene that faithfully our painter drew; + Apollo, give me aid, assistance lend, + Enable me, I pray, to comprehend, + Why this mean stupid rustick sat at ease, + And left the sisters (Claudia, formed to please, + And lovely fair Theresa) all the care? + Had he not better done to give a chair? + + I THINK I hear the god of verse reply: + Not quite so fast my friend, you may rely, + These matters never can the probe endure; + I understand you; Cupid, to be sure, + Is doubtless found a very roguish boy, + Who, though he please at times, will oft annoy; + I'm wrong a wicked whelp like this to take, + And, master of the ceremonies make. + + NO sooner in a house the urchin gets, + But rules and laws he at defiance sets; + The place of reason whim at once assumes, + Breaks ev'ry obstacle, frets, rages, fumes. + With scenes like these will Cupid oft surprise, + And frantick passion sparkle in his eyes. + + SOON on the floor was seen this boorish wight; + For, whether that the chair was rather slight, + Or that the composition of the clown + Was not, like that of geese, of softest down, + Or that Theresa, by her gay discourse, + Had penetrated to the mystick source, + The am'rous pulpit suddenly gave way, + And on the ground the rustick quickly lay. + The first attempt had clearly bad success, + And fair Theresa suffered you may guess. + + YE censors keep from hence your eyes prophane; + See, honest hearts, how Claudia tried amain, + To take advantage of the dire mishap, + And all she could, with eagerness entrap; + For in the fall Theresa lost her hold; + The other pushed her:--further off she rolled; + And then, what she had quitted Claudia seized; + Theresa, like a demon quite displeased, + Endeavoured to recover what she'd lost:-- + Again to take her seat, but she was crossed. + The sister in possession ne'er inclined + To cede a post so pleasant to her mind; + Theresa raised her hand to give a stroke; + And what of that?--if any thing provoke + When thus engaged, unheeded it remains + Small ills are soon forgot where pleasure reigns. + + IN spite of rage apparent in the face; + Of her who in the scuffle lost her place, + The other followed up the road she took; + His course the rustick also ne'er forsook. + Theresa scolded; anger marked her eyes; + In Venus' games contentions oft arise; + Their violence no parallel has seen:-- + In proof, remember Menelaus' queen. + Though here to take a part Bellona 's found, + Of cuirasses I see but few around; + When Venus closes with the god of Thrace, + Her armour then appears with ev'ry grace. + The FAIR will understand: enough is said; + When beauty's goddess is to combat led, + Her body-cuirass shows superior charms; + The Cyclops rarely forge such pleasing arms. + Had Vulcan graven on Achilles' shield + The picture we've described, more praise 'twould yield. + + THE nun's adventure I in verse have told, + But not in colours, like the action, bold; + And as the story in the picture fails, + The latter seems to lose in my details. + The pen and brush express not quite the same; + Eyes are not ears, however we may aim. + + ENTANGLED in the net, I long have left + The fair Theresa, of her throne bereft; + Howe'er, this sister had her turn we find, + So much to please, the porter was inclined, + That both were satisfied, and felt content; + Here ends our tale, and truly I lament, + That not a word about the feast is said, + Though I've no doubt, they freely drank and fed; + And this for reasons easily conceived: + The interlude gave rest that much relieved. + In fine, 'twas well throughout, except, in truth, + The hour of meeting settled with the youth, + Which much embarrasses I will avow, + For if he never came and made his bow, + The sisters had the means, when they might please, + Completely to console themselves at ease; + And if the spark appeared, the belles could hide + Both clown and chair, or any thing beside + The lover what he wanted soon possessed, + And was as usual treated with the best. + + + + + + + THE PACK-SADDLE + + + A FAMOUS painter, jealous of his wife; + Whose charms he valued more than fame or life, + When going on a journey used his art, + To paint an ASS upon a certain part, + (Umbilical, 'tis said) and like a seal: + Impressive token, nothing thence to steal. + + A BROTHER brush, enamoured of the dame; + Now took advantage, and declared his flame: + The Ass effaced, but God knows how 'twas done; + Another soon howe'er he had begun, + And finished well, upon the very spot; + In painting, few more praises ever got; + But want of recollection made him place + A saddle, where before he none could trace. + + THE husband, when returned, desired to look + At what he drew, when leave he lately took. + Yes, see my dear, the wily wife replied, + The Ass is witness, faithful I abide. + Zounds! said the painter, when he got a sight,-- + What!--you'd persuade me ev'ry thing is right? + I wish the witness you display so well, + And him who saddled it, were both in Hell. + + + + + + + THE EAR-MAKER AND THE MOULD-MENDER + + + WHEN William went from home (a trader styled): + Six months his better half he left with child, + A simple, comely, modest, youthful dame, + Whose name was Alice; from Champaign she came. + Her neighbour Andrew visits now would pay; + With what intention, needless 'tis to say: + A master who but rarely spread his net, + But, first or last, with full success he met; + And cunning was the bird that 'scaped his snare; + Without surrendering a feather there. + + QUITE raw was Alice; for his purpose fit; + Not overburdened with a store of wit; + Of this indeed she could not be accused, + And Cupid's wiles by her were never used; + Poor lady, all with her was honest part, + And naught she knew of stratagem or art. + + HER husband then away, and she alone, + This neighbour came, and in a whining tone, + To her observed, when compliments were o'er:-- + I'm all astonishment, and you deplore, + To find that neighbour William's gone from hence, + And left your child's completing in suspense, + Which now you bear within, and much I fear, + That when 'tis born you'll find it wants an ear. + Your looks sufficiently the fact proclaim, + For many instances I've known the same. + Good heav'ns! replied the lady in a fright; + What say you, pray?--the infant won't be right! + Shall I be mother to a one-eared child? + And know you no relief that's certain styled? + Oh yes, there is, rejoined the crafty knave, + From such mishap I can the baby save; + Yet solemnly I vow, for none but you + I'd undertake the toilsome job to do. + The ills of others, if I may be plain, + Except your husband's, never give me pain; + But him I'd serve for ever, while I've breath; + To do him good I'd e'en encounter death. + Now let us see, without more talk or fears, + If I know how to forge the bantling ears. + Remember, cried the wife, to make them like. + Leave that to me, said he, I'll justly strike. + Then he prepared for work; the dame gave way; + Not difficult she proved:--well pleased she lay; + Philosophy was never less required, + And Andrew's process much the fair admired, + Who, to his work extreme attention paid; + 'Twas now a tendon; then a fold he made, + Or cartilage, of which he formed enough, + And all without complaining of the stuff. + To-morrow we will polish it, said he: + Then in perfection soon the whole will be; + And from repeating this so oft, you'll get + As perfect issue as was ever met. + I'm much obliged to you, the wife replied, + A friend is good in whom we may confide. + + NEXT day, when tardy Time had marked the hour; + That Andrew hoped again to use his pow'r, + He was not plunged in sleep, but briskly flew, + His purpose with the charmer to pursue. + Said he, all other things aside I've laid, + This ear to finish, and to lend you aid. + And I, the dame replied, was on the eve, + To send and beg you not the job to leave; + Above stairs let us go:--away they ran, + And quickly recommenced as they began. + The work so oft was smoothed, that Alice showed + Some scruples lest the ear he had bestowed + Should do too much, and to the wily wight, + She said, so little you the labour slight, + 'Twere well if ears no more than two appear; + Of that, rejoined the other, never fear; + I've guarded thoroughly against defects, + Mistake like that shall ne'er your senses vex. + + THE ear howe'er was still in hand the same, + When from his journey home the husband came. + Saluted Alice, who with anxious look, + Exclaimed,--your work how finely you forsook, + And, but for neighbour Andrew's kindness here, + Our child would incomplete have been--an ear, + I could not let a thing remain like this, + And Andrew would not be to friends remiss, + But, worthy man, he left his thriving trade, + And for the babe a proper ear has made. + + THE husband, not conceiving how his wife, + Could be so weak and ignorant of life, + The circumstances made her fully tell, + Repeat them o'er and on each action dwell. + Enraged at length, a pistol by the bed + He seized and swore at once he'd shoot her dead. + The belle with tears replied, howe'er she'd swerved, + Such cruel treatment never she deserved. + Her innocence, and simple, gentle way, + At length appeared his frantick rage to lay. + What injury, continued she, is done? + The strictest scrutiny I would not shun; + Your goods and money, ev'ry thing is right; + And Andrew told me, nothing he would slight; + That you would find much more than you could want; + And this I hope to me you'll freely grant; + If falsehood I advance, my life I'll lose; + Your equity, I trust, will me excuse. + + A LITTLE cooled, then William thus replied, + We'll say no more; you have been drawn aside; + What passed you fancied acting for the best, + And I'll consent to put the thing at rest; + To nothing good such altercations tend; + I've but a word: to that attention lend; + Contrive to-morrow that I here entrap + This fellow who has caused your sad mishap; + You'll utter not a word of what I've said; + Be secret or at once I'll strike you dead. + Adroitly you must act: for instance say; + I'm on a second journey gone away; + A message or a letter to him send, + Soliciting that he'll on you attend, + That something you have got to let him know;-- + To come, no doubt, the rascal won't be slow; + Amuse him then with converse most absurd, + But of the EAR remember,--not a word; + That's finished now, and nothing can require; + You'll carefully perform what I desire. + Poor innocent! the point she nicely hit; + Fear oft gives simpletons a sort of wit. + + THE arch gallant arrived; the husband came + Ascended to the room where sat his dame; + Much noise he made, his coming to announce; + The lover, terrified, began to bounce; + Now here, now there, no shelter could he meet; + Between the bed and wall he put his feet, + And lay concealed, while William loudly knocked; + Fair Alice readily the door unlocked, + And, pointing with her hand, informed the spouse, + Where he might easily his rival rouse. + + THE husband ev'ry way was armed so well, + He four such men as Andrew could repel; + In quest of succour howsoe'er he went: + To kill him surely William never meant, + But only take an ear, or what the Turks, + Those savage beasts, cut off from Nature's works; + Which doubtless must be infinitely worse + Infernal practice and continual curse. + 'Twas this he whispered should be Andrew's doom, + When with his easy wife he left the room; + She nothing durst reply: the door he shut, + And our gallant 'gan presently to strut, + Around and round, believing all was right, + And William unacquainted with his plight. + + THE latter having well the project weighed, + Now changed his plan, and other schemes surveyed; + Proposed within himself revenge to take, + With less parade:--less noise it then would make, + And better fruit the action would produce, + Than if he were apparently profuse. + Said he to Alice, go and seek his wife; + To her relate the whole that caused our strife; + Minutely all from first to last detail; + And then the better on her to prevail, + To hasten here, you'll hint that you have fears, + That Andrew risks the loss of--more than ears, + For I have punishment severe in view, + Which greatly she must wish I should not do; + But if an ear-maker, like this, is caught, + The worst of chastisement is always sought; + Such horrid things as scarcely can be said: + They make the hair to stand upon the head; + That he's upon the point of suff'ring straight, + And only for her presence things await; + That though she cannot all proceedings stay, + Perhaps she may some portion take away. + Go, bring her instantly, haste quickly, run; + And, if she comes, I'll pardon what's been done. + + WITH joy to Andrew's house fair Alice went; + The wife to follow her appeared content; + Quite out of breath, alone she ran up stairs, + And, not perceiving him who shared her cares; + Believed he was imprisoned in a room; + And while with fear she trembled for his doom; + The master (having laid aside his arms) + Now came to compliment the lady's charms; + He gave the belle a chair, who looked most nice:-- + Said he, ingratitude's the worst of vice; + To me your husband has been wondrous kind; + So many services has done I find, + That, ere you leave this house, I'd wish to make + A little return, and this you will partake. + When I was absent from my loving dear, + Obligingly he made her babe an ear. + The compliment of course I must admire; + Retaliation is what I desire, + And I've a thought:--your children all have got + The nose a little short, which is a blot; + A fault within the mould no doubt's the cause, + Which I can mend, and any other flaws. + The business now let's execute I pray, + On which the dame he took without delay, + And placed her near where Andrew hid his head, + Then 'gan to operate as he was led. + + THE, lady patiently his process bore, + And blessed her stars that Andrew's risk was o'er + That she had thus the dire return received, + And saved the man for whom her bosom grieved. + So much emotion William seemed to feel, + No grace he gave, but all performed with zeal; + Retaliated ev'ry way so well, + He measure gave for measure:--ell for ell. + How true the adage, that revenge is sweet! + The plan he followed clearly was discrete; + For since he wished his honour to repair:-- + Of any better way I'm not aware. + + THE whole without a murmur Andrew viewed, + And thanked kind Heav'n that nothing worse ensued; + One ear most readily he would have lost, + Could he be certain that would pay the cost. + He thought 'twould lucky be, could he get out, + For all considered, better 'twere no doubt, + Howe'er ridiculous the thing appears, + To have a pair of horns than lose his ears. + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Not overburdened with a store of wit + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES AND NOVELS OF FONTAINE, V22 *** + +*********** This file should be named 5296.txt or 5296.zip *********** + +This eBook was produced by David Widger + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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