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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/5298.txt b/5298.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1207611 --- /dev/null +++ b/5298.txt @@ -0,0 +1,900 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Ebook The Quid Pro Quo &c., by de La Fontaine +#24 in our series by Jean de La Fontaine (The Tales and Novels) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** + + +Title: The Tales and Novels, v24: The Quid Pro Quo &c. + +Author: Jean de La Fontaine + +Release Date: March, 2004 [EBook #5298] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on June 21, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + + + + + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES AND NOVELS OF FONTAINE, V24 *** + + + +This eBook was produced by David Widger + + + + + + THE TALES AND NOVELS + OF + J. DE LA FONTAINE + + + + Volume 24. + + Contains: + The Indiscreet Confession + The Contract + The Quid Pro Quo, or The Mistakes + + + + THE INDISCREET CONFESSIONS + + + FAMED Paris ne'er within its walls had got, + Such magick charms as were Aminta's lot, + Youth, beauty, temper, fortune, she possessed, + And all that should a husband render blessed, + The mother still retained her 'neath the wing; + Her father's riches well might lovers bring; + Whate'er his daughter wished, he would provide, + Amusements, jewels, dress, and much beside. + + BLITHE Damon for her having felt the dart, + The belle received the offer of his heart; + So well he managed and expressed his flame. + That soon her lord and master he became, + By Hymen's right divine, you may conceive, + And nothing short of it you should believe. + + A YEAR had passed, and still our charming pair, + Were always pleased, and blisses seemed to share; + (The honeymoon appeared but just began) + And hopes were entertained to have a son, + When Damon on the subject chanced to touch: + In truth, said he, my soul is troubled much; + There is a fact, my dear, to you I'll tell: + I wish sincerely (since I love so well) + That for another, I had never known + Such fond affection as to you I've shown; + And none but you had entered in my breast, + So worthy ev'ry way to be caressed. + I have howe'er experienced other flame; + The fault's acknowledged: I confess my shame. + 'Twas in a wood; the nymph was young and nice, + And Cupid only near to give advice; + So well he managed:--or so ill, you'll say; + A little girl I've living at this day. + + WHAT, cried Aminta, now to you I'll state; + What happened once to be your spouse's fate; + I was at home alone, to say the truth, + When thither came by chance a sprightly youth. + The lad was handsome, with engaging mien; + I felt his worth:--my nature is serene; + In short so many things were our employ, + I've still upon my hands a little boy. + + THESE words no sooner had escaped the belle, + Than Damon into jealous torments fell; + With rage he left the room; and on his way, + A large pack-saddle near his footsteps lay, + Which on his back he put, then cried aloud, + I'm saddled! see; round quickly came a crowd; + The father, mother, all the servants ran; + The neighbours too; the husband then began + To state the circumstance that gave him pain; + And fully all the folly to explain. + + THE reader must not fail to keep in mind; + Aminta's parents were both rich and kind, + And having only her to be their heir, + The aged couple let the youthful pair, + With all their train, within the house reside, + And tranquilly the moments seemed to glide. + + THU mother fondly to her daughter flew; + The father followed, keeping her in view; + The dame went in, but he remained without: + To listen he designed beyond a doubt; + The door was on the jar; the sage drew near; + In short, to all they said, he lent an ear; + The lady thus he heard reproach her child: + You're clearly wrong; most silly may be styled; + I've many simpletons and ninnies seen; + But such as you before there ne'er has been: + Who'd have believed you indiscreet like this? + Who forced you to reveal what was amiss? + What obligation to divulge the fact? + More girls than one have failed to be exact; + The Devil's crafty; folks are wicked too; + But that is no excuse, however true; + In convents all of us should be immured, + Till perfectly by Hymen's bands secured. + + E'EN I who speak, alas! have troubles met; + Within my bosom oft I feel regret; + Three children ere my marriage I had got; + Have I your father told this secret blot? + Have we together been less happy found? + The list'ner had no sooner heard the sound, + But like a man distracted off he flew; + The saddle's girth, which hazard near him threw; + He took and fastened tightly 'bout his waist, + Then bawled around and round with anxious haste; + I'm girth'd! d'ye see, completely taken in; + The people stared, an 'gan to laugh and grin. + Though each was conscious, if the truth were known; + The ridicule in turn might be his own. + + BOTH husbands madly ran from cross to square, + And with their foolish clamours rent the air; + I'm saddled, hooted one; I'm girth'd, said this; + The latter some perhaps will doubt, and hiss; + Such things however should not be disbelieved + For instance, recollect (what's well received), + When Roland learned the pleasures and the charms; + His rival, in the grot, had in his arms, + With fist he gave his horse so hard a blow, + It sunk at once to realms of poignant woe. + Might he not, training, round the hapless beast, + From weight of saddle have its back released, + And putting it upon his own, have cried, + I'm saddled, I'm girth'd, and much beside; + (No matter this or that, since each is good,) + Which Echo would repeat from hill to wood? + You see that truth may be discovered here; + That's not enough; its object should appear; + And that I'll show as further we proceed; + Your full attention I of course shall need. + + THE happy Damon clearly seems to me, + As poor a thing as any we shall see; + His confidence would soon have spoiled the whole, + To leave a belle like this without control! + Her simplicity I much admire:-- + Confess herself to spouse, as if a friar! + What silliness! imprudence is a word, + Which here to use would truly be absurd. + To my discourse two heads alone remain; + The marriage vow you always should maintain; + Its faith the pair should ever keep in view: + The path of honour steadily pursue. + If some mishap howe'er should chance to glide; + And make you limp on one or t'other side, + Endeavour, of the fault, to make the best, + And keep the secret locked within your breast; + Your own consideration never lose; + Untruth 'tis pardonable then to use. + + No doubt my pages nice advice supply; + Is't what I've followed?--No, you may rely! + + + + + + + THE CONTRACT + + + THE husband's dire mishap, and silly maid, + In ev'ry age, have proved the fable's aid; + The fertile subject never will be dry: + 'Tis inexhaustible, you may rely. + No man's exempt from evils such as these:-- + Who thinks himself secure, but little sees. + One laughs at sly intrigues who, ere 'tis long, + May, in his turn, be sneered at by the throng: + With such vicissitudes, to be cast down, + Appears rank nonsense worthy Folly's crown. + He, whose adventures I'm about to write, + In his mischances,--found what gave delight. + + A CERTAIN Citizen, with fortune large, + When settled with a handsome wife in charge, + Not long attended for the marriage fruit: + The lady soon put matters 'yond dispute; + Produced a girl at first, and then a boy, + To fill th' expecting parent's breast with joy. + + THE son, when grown of size, a tutor had, + No pedant rude, with Greek and Latin mad, + But young and smart, a master too of arts, + Particularly learned in what imparts, + The gentle flame, the pleasing poignant pang, + That Ovid formerly so sweetly sang. + Some knowledge of good company he'd got; + A charming voice and manner were his lot; + And if we may disclose the mystick truth, + 'Twas Cupid who preceptor made the youth. + He with the brother solely took a place, + That better he the sister's charms might trace; + And under this disguise he fully gained + What he desired, so well his part he feigned: + An able master, or a lover true, + To teach or sigh, whichever was in view, + So thoroughly he could attention get, + Success alike in ev'ry thing he met. + + IN little time the boy could construe well + The odes of Horace:--Virgil's fable tell; + And she whose beauty caught the tutor's eyes, + A perfect mistress got of heaving sighs. + So oft she practised what the master taught, + Her stomach feeble grew, whate'er was sought; + And strange suspicions of the cause arose, + Which Time at length was driven to disclose. + + MOST terribly the father raged and swore; + Our learned master, frightened, left the door, + The lady wished to take the youth for life; + The spark desired to make the girl his wife; + Both had the Hymeneal knot in view, + And mutual soft affection fondly knew. + At present love is little more than name: + In matrimony, gold's the only aim. + The belle was rich, while he had nothing got; + For him 'twas great:--for her a narrow lot. + + O DIRE corruption, age of wretched ways! + What strange caprice such management displays! + Shall we permit this fatal pow'r to reign? + Base int'rest's impulse: hideous modern stain; + The curse of ev'ry tender soft delight, + That charms the soul and fascinates the sight. + + BUT truce to moral; let's our tale resume; + The daughter scared; the father in a fume; + What could be done the evil to repair, + And hide the sad misfortune of the fair? + What method seek?--They married her in haste; + But not to him who had the belle debased, + For reasons I've sufficiently detailed; + To gain her hand a certain wight prevailed, + Who store of riches relished far above + The charms of beauty, warmed with fondest love. + Save this the man might well enough be thought: + In family and wealth just what was sought; + But whether fool or not, I cannot trace, + Since he was unacquainted with the case; + And if he'd known it, was the bargain bad? + Full twenty thousand pounds he with her had + A sprightly youthful wife to ease his care, + And with him ev'ry luxury to share. + + HOW many tempted by the golden ore, + Have taken wives whose slips they know before; + And this good man the lady chaste believed, + So truly well she managed and deceived. + But when four months had passed, the fair-one showed. + How very much she to her lessons owed; + A little girl arrived: the husband stared + Cried he, what father of a child declared! + The time's too short: four months! I'm taken in! + A family should not so soon begin. + + AWAY he to the lady's father flew, + And of his shame a horrid picture drew; + Proposed to be divorced: much rage disclosed; + The parent smiled and said, pray be composed; + Speak not so loud: we may be overheard, + And privacy is much to be preferred. + A son-in-law, like you, I once appeared, + And similar misfortune justly feared; + Complaint I made, and mentioned a divorce; + Of heat and rage the ordinary course. + + THE father of my wife, who's now no more, + (Heav'n guard his soul, the loss I oft deplore,) + A prudent honest man as any round, + To calm my mind, a nice specifick found; + The pill was rather bitter, I admit; + But gilding made it for the stomach fit, + Which he knew how to manage very well: + No doctor in it him could e'er excel; + To satisfy my scruples he displayed + A CONTRACT (duly stamped and ably made), + Four thousand to secure, which he had got, + On similar occasion for a blot; + His lady's father gave it to efface + Domestick diff'rences and like disgrace: + With this my spouse's fortune he increased; + And instantly my dire complaining ceased. + From family to family the deed + Should pass, 'twill often prove a useful meed; + I kept it for the purpose:--do the same + Your daughter, married, may have equal blame. + On this the son-in-law the bond received, + And, with a bow, departed much relieved. + + MAY Heav'n preserve from trouble those who find, + At cheaper rate, to be consoled inclined. + + + + + + + THE QUID PRO QUO; + OR + THE MISTAKES + + + DAME FORTUNE often loves a laugh to raise, + And, playing off her tricks and roguish ways, + Instead of giving us what we desire, + Mere quid pro quo permits us to acquire. + I've found her gambols such from first to last, + And judge the future by experience past. + Fair Cloris and myself felt mutual flame; + And, when a year had run, the sprightly dame + Prepared to grant me, if I may be plain, + Some slight concessions that would ease my pain. + This was her aim; but whatsoe'er in view, + 'Tis opportunity we should pursue; + The lover, who's discreet, will moments seize; + And ev'ry effort then will tend to please. + + ONE eve I went this charming fair to see; + The husband happened (luckily for me) + To be abroad; but just as it was night + The master came, not doubting all was right; + No Cloris howsoe'er was in the way; + A servant girl, of disposition gay, + Well known to me, with pretty smiling face, + 'Tis said, was led to take her lady's place. + The mistress' loss for once was thus repaid; + The barter mutual:--wife against the maid. + + WITH many tales like this the books abound; + But able hands are necessary found, + To place the incidents, arrange the whole, + That nothing may be forced nor feel control. + The urchin blind, who sees enough to lay + His num'rous snares, such tricks will often play. + The CRADLE in Boccace excels the most, + As to myself I do not mean to boast, + But fear, a thousand places, spite of toil, + By him made excellent, my labours spoil. + 'Tis time howe'er with preface to have done, + And show, by some new turn, or piece of fun, + (While easy numbers from my pencil flow,) + Of Fortune and of Love the quid pro quo. + In proof, we'll state what happened at Marseilles: + The story is so true, no doubt prevails. + + THERE Clidamant, whose proper name my verse, + Prom high respect, refuses to rehearse, + Lived much at ease: not one a wife had got, + Throughout the realm, who was so nice a lot, + Her virtues, temper, and seraphick charms, + Should have secured the husband to her arms; + But he was not to constancy inclined; + The devil's crafty; snares has often twined + Around and round, with ev'ry subtle art, + When love of novelty he would impart. + + THE lady had a maid, whose form and size, + Height, easy manners, action, lips, and eyes, + Were thought to be so very like her own, + That one from t'other scarcely could be known; + The mistress was the prettiest of the two; + But, in a mask where much escapes the view, + 'Twas very difficult a choice to make, + And feel no doubts which better 'twere to take. + + THE Marseillesian husband, rather gay, + With mistress Alice was disposed to play; + (For such was called the maid we just have named;) + To show coquettish airs the latter aimed, + And met his wishes with reproof severe; + But to his plan the lover would adhere, + And promised her at length a pretty sum: + A hundred crowns, if to his room she'd come. + To pay the girl with kindness such as this, + In my opinion, was not much amiss. + At that rate what should be the mistress' price? + Perhaps still less: she might not be so nice. + But I mistake; the lady was so coy, + No spark, whatever art he could employ, + How cleverly soe'er he laid the snare, + Would have succeeded, spite of ev'ry care. + Nor presents nor attentions would have swayed; + Should I have mentioned presents as an aid? + Alas! no longer these are days of old! + By Love both nymph and shepherdess are sold; + He sets the price of many beauties rare; + This was a god;--now nothing but a mayor. + + O ALTERED times! O customs how depraved! + At first fair Alice frowardly behaved; + But in the sequel 'gan to change her way, + And said, her mistress, as the foll'wing day, + A certain remedy to take designed; + That, in the morning then, if so inclined, + They could at leisure in the cavern meet;-- + The plan was pleasing: all appeared discreet. + + THE servant, having to her mistress said, + What projects were in view: what nets were spread; + The females, 'tween themselves, a plot contrived, + Of Quid pro quo, against the hour arrived. + The husband of the trick was ne'er aware, + So much the mistress had her servant's air; + But if he had, what then? no harm of course; + She might have lectured him with double force. + + NEXT day but one, gay Clidamant, whose joy + Appeared so great, 'twas free from all alloy, + By hazard met a friend, to whom he told + (Most indiscreetly) what to him was sold; + How Cupid favoured what he most required, + And freely granted all he had desired. + Though large the blessing, yet he grudged the cost; + The sum gave pain: a hundred crowns were lost! + The friend proposed they should at once decide, + The charge and pleasure 'tween them to divide. + Our husband thought his purse not over strong, + That saving fifty crowns would not be wrong. + But then, on t'other hand, to lend the fair, + In ev'ry view had got an awkward air; + Would she, as was proposed, consent to two? + To keep things secret would their lips be true? + Or was it fair to sacrifice her charms, + And lay her open thus to dire alarms? + + THE friend this difficulty soon removed, + And represented that the cavern proved + So very dark, the girl would be deceived; + With one more shrewd the trick might be achieved. + Sufficient howsoever it would be, + If they by turns, and silent, could agree + To meet the belle, and leave to Love the rest, + From whom they hoped assistance if distressed. + Such silence to observe no hurt could do, + And Alice would suppose, a prudent view + Retained the tongue, since walls have often ears, + And, being mum, expressive was of fears. + + WHEN thus the two gallants their plan had laid, + And ev'ry promised pleasure fully weighed, + They to the husband's mansion made their way, + Where yet the wife between the bed-clothes lay. + The servant girl was near her mistress found; + Her dress was plain: no finery around; + In short, 'twas such that, when the moment came; + To fail the meeting could not be her aim. + + THE friends disputed which the lead should take, + And strong pretentions both appeared to make; + The husband, honours home would not allow: + Such compliments were out of fashion now. + To settle this, at length three dice they took; + The friend was highest placed in Fortune's book. + The both together to the cavern flew, + And for the servant soon impatient grew; + But Alice never came, and in her room + The mistress, softly treading 'mid the gloom, + The necessary signal gently gave, + On which she entered presently the cave, + And this so suddenly, no time was found + To make remarks on change or errors round, + Or any diff'rence 'tween the friend and spouse; + In short, before suspicions 'gan to rouse, + Or alteration lent the senses aid:-- + To LOVE, a sacrifice was fully made. + The lucky wight more pleasure would have felt, + If sensible he'd been with whom he dealt: + The mistress rather more of beauty had, + And QUALITY of course must something add. + + THIS scene just ended, t'other actor came, + Whose prompt arrival much surprised the dame, + For, as a husband, Clidamant had ne'er + Such ardour shown, he seemed beyond his sphere. + The lady to the girl imputed this, + And thought, to hint it, would not be amiss. + + THE entertainment o'er, away they went + To quit the dark abode they were intent. + The partner in amour repaired above; + But when the husband saw his wedded love + Ascend the stairs, and she the friend perceived, + We well may judge how bosoms beat and heaved. + + THE master of the house conceived it best + To keep the whole a secret in his breast. + But to discover ALL, his lovely rib + Appeared disposed, though wives can often fib; + The silliest of the throng (or high or low), + Most perfectly the science seem to know. + + SOME will pretend that Alice, in her heart + Was sorry she had acted such a part, + And not a better method sought to gain + The money which had caused her master's pain; + Lamented much the case, and tried to please + By ev'ry means that might his trouble ease. + But this is merely with design to make + The tale a more impressive feature take. + + TWO questions may agitate around; + The one, if 'mong the brotherhood renowned, + The husband, who thus felt disgraced, + Should (with the usual ornaments) be placed? + But I no grounds for such conclusion see: + Both friend and wife were from suspicion free; + Of one another they had never thought, + Though in the mystick scene together brought. + The other is:--Should she, who was misused, + Have sought revenge for being so abused? + Though this sufficiently I have maintained, + The lady inconsolable remained. + + HEAV'N guard the FAIR, who meet with ills like these, + And nothing can their wounded minds appease: + I many know howe'er, who would but laugh, + And treat such accidents as light as chaff. + But I have done: no more of that or this; + May ev'ry belle receive her lot of bliss! + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES AND NOVELS OF FONTAINE, V24 *** + +*********** This file should be named 5298.txt or 5298.zip *********** + +This eBook was produced by David Widger + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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