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diff --git a/old/53609-0.txt b/old/53609-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index adceb72..0000000 --- a/old/53609-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,2144 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Life of Josiah Henson, by Josiah Henson - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: The Life of Josiah Henson - Formerly a Slave, Now an Inhabitant of Canada - -Author: Josiah Henson - -Release Date: November 26, 2016 [EBook #53609] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LIFE OF JOSIAH HENSON *** - - - - -Produced by Cindy Horton and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images generously made available by The -Internet Archive) - - - - - - - - - - THE - - LIFE OF JOSIAH HENSON, - - FORMERLY A SLAVE, - - NOW AN INHABITANT OF CANADA, - - AS - - NARRATED BY HIMSELF. - - - BOSTON: - - ARTHUR D. PHELPS. - - 1849. - - - - - Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1849, by - - ARTHUR D. PHELPS, - - in the office of the Clerk of the District Court - of the District of Massachusetts - - - CAMBRIDGE: - - PRINTED BY BOLLES AND HOUGHTON. - - - - -ADVERTISEMENT. - - -The following memoir was written from the dictation of JOSIAH HENSON. -A portion of the story was told, which, when written, was read to him, -that any errors of statement might be corrected. The substance of it, -therefore, the facts, the reflections, and very often the words, are -his; and little more than the structure of the sentences belongs to -another. - -The narrative, in this form, necessarily loses the attraction derived -from the earnest manner, the natural eloquence of a man who tells a -story in which he is deeply interested; but it is hoped that enough -remains to repay perusal, and that the character of the man, and the -striking nature of the events of his life will be thought to justify -the endeavor to make them more extensively known. The story has this -advantage, that it is not fiction, but fact; and it will be found -fruitful in instruction by those who attentively consider its lessons. - - - - -LIFE OF JOSIAH HENSON. - - -I was born, June 15, 1789, in Charles County, Maryland, on a farm -belonging to Mr. Francis N., about a mile from Port Tobacco. My mother -was the property of Dr. Josiah McP., but was hired by Mr. N., to whom -my father belonged. The only incident I can remember, which occurred -while my mother continued on N.’s farm, was the appearance of my father -one day, with his head bloody and his back lacerated. He was in a -state of great excitement, and though it was all a mystery to me at -the age of three or four years, it was explained at a later period, -and I understood that he had been suffering the cruel penalty of the -Maryland law for beating a white man. His right ear had been cut off -close to his head, and he had received a hundred lashes on his back. -He had beaten the overseer for a brutal assault on my mother, and this -was his punishment. Furious at such treatment, my father became a -different man, and was so morose, disobedient, and intractable, that -Mr. N. determined to sell him. He accordingly parted with him, not long -after, to his son, who lived in Alabama; and neither my mother nor I, -ever heard of him again. He was naturally, as I understood afterwards -from my mother and other persons, a man of amiable temper, and of -considerable energy of character; but it is not strange that he should -be essentially changed by such cruelty and injustice under the sanction -of law. - -After the sale of my father by N., and his leaving Maryland for -Alabama, Dr. McP. would no longer hire out my mother to N. She -returned, therefore, to the estate of the doctor, who was very much -kinder to his slaves than the generality of planters, never suffering -them to be struck by any one. He was, indeed, a man of good natural -impulses, kind-hearted, liberal, and jovial. The latter quality was so -much developed as to be his great failing; and though his convivial -excesses were not thought of as a fault by the community in which -he lived, and did not even prevent his having a high reputation for -goodness of heart, and an almost saint-like benevolence, yet they were, -nevertheless, his ruin. My mother, and her young family of three girls -and three boys, of which I was the youngest, resided on this estate for -two or three years, during which my only recollections are of being -rather a pet of the doctor’s, who thought I was a bright child, and of -being much impressed with what I afterwards recognized as the deep -piety and devotional feeling and habits of my mother. I do not know -how, or where she acquired her knowledge of God, or her acquaintance -with the Lord’s prayer, which she so frequently repeated and taught me -to repeat. I remember seeing her often on her knees, endeavoring to -arrange her thoughts in prayers appropriate to her situation, but which -amounted to little more than constant ejaculation, and the repetition -of short phrases, which were within my infant comprehension, and have -remained in my memory to this hour. - -After this brief period of comparative comfort, however, the death of -Dr. McP. brought about a revolution in our condition, which, common -as such things are in slave countries, can never be imagined by those -not subject to them, nor recollected by those who have been, without -emotions of grief and indignation deep and ineffaceable. The doctor was -riding from one of his scenes of riotous excess, when, falling from his -horse, in crossing a little run, not a foot deep, he was unable to save -himself from drowning. - -In consequence of his decease, it became necessary to sell the estate -and the slaves, in order to divide the property among the heirs; and -we were all put up at auction and sold to the highest bidder, and -scattered over various parts of the country. My brothers and sisters -were bid off one by one, while my mother, holding my hand, looked on -in an agony of grief, the cause of which I but ill understood at -first, but which dawned on my mind, with dreadful clearness, as the -sale proceeded. My mother was then separated from me, and put up in her -turn. She was bought by a man named Isaac R., residing in Montgomery -county, and then I was offered to the assembled purchasers. My mother, -half distracted with the parting forever from all her children, pushed -through the crowd, while the bidding for me was going on, to the spot -where R. was standing. She fell at his feet, and clung to his knees, -entreating him in tones that a mother only could command, to buy her -_baby_ as well as herself, and spare to her one of her little ones at -least. Will it, can it be believed that this man, thus appealed to, -was capable not merely of turning a deaf ear to her supplication, but -of disengaging himself from her with such violent blows and kicks, -as to reduce her to the necessity of creeping out of his reach, and -mingling the groan of bodily suffering with the sob of a breaking -heart? Yet this was one of my earliest observations of men; an -experience which has been common to me with thousands of my race, the -bitterness of which its frequency cannot diminish to any individual -who suffers it, while it is dark enough to overshadow the whole -after-life with something blacker than a funeral pall.--I was bought by -a stranger.--Almost immediately, however, whether my childish strength, -at five or six years of age, was overmastered by such scenes and -experiences, or from some accidental cause, I fell sick, and seemed to -my new master so little likely to recover, that he proposed to R., the -purchaser of my mother, to take me too at such a trifling rate that it -could not be refused. I was thus providentially restored to my mother; -and under her care, destitute as she was of the proper means of nursing -me, I recovered my health, and grew up to be an uncommonly vigorous and -healthy boy and man. - -The character of R., the master whom I faithfully served for many -years, is by no means an uncommon one in any part of the world; but it -is to be regretted that a domestic institution should anywhere put it -in the power of such a one to tyrannize over his fellow beings, and -inflict so much needless misery as is sure to be produced by such a man -in such a position. Coarse and vulgar in his habits, unprincipled and -cruel in his general deportment, and especially addicted to the vice of -licentiousness, his slaves had little opportunity for relaxation from -wearying labor, were supplied with the scantiest means of sustaining -their toil by necessary food, and had no security for personal rights. -The natural tendency of slavery is, to convert the master into a -tyrant, and the slave into the cringing, treacherous, false, and -thieving victim of tyranny. R. and his slaves were no exception to the -general rule, but might be cited as apt illustrations of the nature of -the case. - -My earliest employments were, to carry buckets of water to the men -at work, to hold a horse-plough, used for weeding between the rows -of corn, and as I grew older and taller, to take care of master’s -saddle-horse. Then a hoe was put into my hands, and I was soon required -to do the day’s work of a man; and it was not long before I could do -it, at least as well as my associates in misery. - -The every-day life of a slave on one of our southern plantations, -however frequently it may have been described, is generally little -known at the North; and must be mentioned as a necessary illustration -of the character and habits of the slave and the slave-holder, created -and perpetuated by their relative position. The principal food of -those upon my master’s plantation consisted of corn meal, and salt -herrings; to which was added in summer a little buttermilk, and the -few vegetables which each might raise for himself and his family, on -the little piece of ground which was assigned to him for the purpose, -called a truck patch. The meals were two, daily. The first, or -breakfast, was taken at 12 o’clock, after laboring from daylight; and -the other when the work of the remainder of the day was over. The only -dress was of tow cloth, which for the young, and often even for those -who had passed the period of childhood, consisted of a single garment, -something like a shirt, but longer, reaching to the ancles; and for -the older, a pair of pantaloons, or a gown, according to the sex; while -some kind of round jacket, or overcoat, might be added in winter, a -wool hat once in two or three years, for the males, and a pair of -coarse shoes once a year. Our lodging was in log huts, of a single -small room, with no other floor than the trodden earth, in which ten or -a dozen persons--men, women, and children--might sleep, but which could -not protect them from dampness and cold, nor permit the existence of -the common decencies of life. There were neither beds, nor furniture of -any description--a blanket being the only addition to the dress of the -day for protection from the chillness of the air or the earth. In these -hovels were we penned at night, and fed by day; here were the children -born, and the sick--neglected. Such were the provisions for the daily -toil of the slave. - -Notwithstanding this system of management, however, I grew to be a -robust and vigorous lad, and at fifteen years of age, there were few -who could compete with me in work, or in sport--for not even the -condition of a slave can altogether repress the animal spirits of -the young negro. I was competent to all the work that was done upon -the farm, and could run faster and farther, wrestle longer, and jump -higher, than anybody about me. My master and my fellow slaves used -to look upon me, and speak of me, as a wonderfully smart fellow, and -prophecy the great things I should do when I became a man. A casual -word of this sort, sometimes overheard, would fill me with a pride -and ambition which some would think impossible in a negro slave, -degraded, starved, and abused as I was, and had been, from my earliest -recollection. But the love of superiority is not confined to kings and -emperors; and it is a positive fact, that pride and ambition were as -active in my soul as probably they ever were in that of the greatest -soldier or statesman. The objects I pursued, I must admit, were not -just the same as theirs. Mine were to be first in the field, whether -we were hoeing, mowing, or reaping; to surpass those of my own age, or -indeed any age, in athletic exercises; and to obtain, if possible, the -favorable regard of the petty despot who ruled over us. This last was -an exercise of the understanding, rather than of the affections; and I -was guided in it more by what I supposed would be effectual, than by a -nice judgment of the propriety of the means I used. - -I obtained great influence with my companions, as well by the -superiority I showed in labor and in sport, as by the assistance I -yielded them, and the favors I conferred upon them, from impulses which -I cannot consider as wrong, though it was necessary for me to conceal -sometimes the act as well as its motive. I have toiled, and induced -others to toil, many an extra hour, in order to show my master what an -excellent day’s work had been accomplished, and to win a kind word, or -a benevolent deed from his callous heart. In general, indifference, or -a cool calculation of my value to him, were my reward, chilling those -hopes of an improvement in my condition, which was the ultimate object -of my efforts. I was much more easily moved to compassion and sympathy -than he was; and one of the means I took to gain the good-will of my -fellow sufferers, was by taking from him some things that he did not -give, in part payment of my extra labor. The condition of the male -slave is bad enough, Heaven knows; but that of the female, compelled -to perform unfit labor, sick, suffering, and bearing the burdens of -her own sex unpitied and unaided, as well as the toils which belong -to the other, has often oppressed me with a load of sympathy. And -sometimes, when I have seen them starved, and miserable, and unable to -help themselves, I have helped them to some of the comforts which they -were denied by him who owned them, and which my companions had not the -wit or the daring to procure. Meat was not a part of our regular food; -but my master had plenty of sheep and pigs, and sometimes I have picked -out the best one I could find in the flock, or the drove, carried it a -mile or two into the woods, slaughtered it, cut it up, and distributed -it among the poor creatures, to whom it was at once food, luxury, -and medicine. Was this wrong? I can only say that, at this distance -of time, my conscience does not reproach me for it, and that then I -esteemed it among the best of my deeds. - -By means of the influence thus acquired, the increased amount of -work done upon the farm, and by the detection of the knavery of the -overseer, who plundered his employer for more selfish ends, and through -my watchfulness was caught in the act and dismissed, I was promoted -to be superintendent of the farm work, and managed to raise more than -double the crops, with more cheerful and willing labor, than was ever -seen on the estate before. - -Previous to my attaining this important station, however, an incident -occurred of so powerful an influence on my intellectual development, -my prospect of improvement in character, as well as condition, my -chance of religious culture, and in short, on my whole nature, body and -soul, that it deserves especial notice and commemoration. There was a -person living at Georgetown, a few miles only from R.’s plantation, -whose business was that of a baker, and whose character was that of an -upright, benevolent, Christian man. He was noted especially for his -detestation of slavery, and his resolute avoidance of the employment -of slave labor in his business. He would not even hire a slave, the -price of whose toil must be paid to his master, but contented himself -with the work of his own hands, and with such free labor as he could -procure. His reputation was high, not only for this almost singular -abstinence from what no one about him thought wrong, but for his -general probity and excellence. This man occasionally served as a -minister of the Gospel, and preached in a neighborhood where preachers -were somewhat rare at that period. One Sunday when he was to officiate -in this way, at a place three or four miles distant, my mother -persuaded me to ask master’s leave to go and hear him; and although -such permission was not given freely or often, yet his favor to me -was shown for this once by allowing me to go, without much scolding, -but not without a pretty distinct intimation of what would befall me, -if I did not return immediately after the close of the service. I -hurried off, pleased with the opportunity, but without any definite -expectations of benefit or amusement; for up to this period of my life, -and I was then eighteen years old, I had never heard a sermon, nor -any discourse or conversation whatever, upon religious topics, except -what had been impressed upon me by my mother, of the responsibility of -all to a Supreme Being. When I arrived at the place of meeting, the -services were so far advanced that the speaker was just beginning his -discourse, from the text, Hebrews ii. 9; “That he, by the grace of -God, should taste of death for every man.” This was the first text of -the Bible to which I had ever listened, knowing it to be such. I have -never forgotten it, and scarce a day has passed since, in which I have -not recalled it, and the sermon that was preached from it. The divine -character of Jesus Christ, his life and teachings, his sacrifice of -himself for others, his death and resurrection were all alluded to, and -some of the points were dwelt upon with great power,--great, at least, -to me, who heard of these things for the first time in my life. I was -wonderfully impressed, too, with the use which the preacher made of the -last words of the text, “_for every man_.” He said the death of Christ -was not designed for the benefit of a select few only, but for the -salvation of the world, for the bond as well as the free; and he dwelt -on the glad tidings of the Gospel to the poor, the persecuted, and the -distressed, its deliverance to the captive, and the liberty wherewith -Christ has made us free, till my heart burned within me, and I was in -a state of the greatest excitement at the thought that such a being as -Jesus Christ had been described should have died for me--for _me_ among -the rest, a poor, despised, abused slave, who was thought by his fellow -creatures fit for nothing but unrequited toil and ignorance, for mental -and bodily degradation. I immediately determined to find out something -more about “Christ and him crucified;” and revolving the things which I -had heard in my mind as I went home, I became so excited that I turned -aside from the road into the woods, and prayed to God for light and for -aid with an earnestness, which, however unenlightened, was at least -sincere and heartfelt; and which the subsequent course of my life has -led me to imagine might not have been unacceptable to Him who heareth -prayer. At all events, I date my conversion, and my awakening to a new -life--a consciousness of superior powers and destiny to any thing I had -before conceived of--from this day, so memorable to me. I used every -means and opportunity of inquiry into religious matters; and so deep -was my conviction of their superior importance to every thing else, so -clear my perception of my own faults, and so undoubting my observation -of the darkness and sin that surrounded me, that I could not help -talking much on these subjects with those about me; and it was not long -before I began to pray with them, and exhort them, and to impart to -the poor slaves those little glimmerings of light from another world, -which had reached my own eye. In a few years I became quite an esteemed -preacher among them, and I will not believe it is vanity which leads me -to think I was useful to some. - -I must return, however, for the present, to the course of my life -in secular affairs, the facts of which it is my principal object to -relate. The difference between the manner in which it was designed that -all men should regard one another, as children of the same Father, and -the manner in which men actually do treat each other, as if they were -placed here for mutual annoyance and destruction, is well exemplified -by an incident that happened to me within a year or two from this -period, that is, when I was nineteen or twenty years old. My master’s -habits were such as were common enough among the dissipated planters of -the neighborhood; and one of their frequent practices was, to assemble -on Saturday or Sunday, which were their holidays, and gamble, run -horses, or fight game-cocks, discuss politics, and drink whiskey, and -brandy and water, all day long. Perfectly aware that they would not be -able to find their own way home at night, each one ordered a slave, his -particular attendant, to come after him and help him home. I was chosen -for this confidential duty by my master; and many is the time I have -held him on his horse, when he could not hold himself in the saddle, -and walked by his side in darkness and mud from the tavern to his -house. Of course, quarrels and brawls of the most violent description -were frequent consequences of these meetings, and whenever they became -especially dangerous, and glasses were thrown, dirks drawn, and pistols -fired, it was the duty of the slaves to rush in, and each one was to -drag his master from the fight, and carry him home. To tell the truth, -this was a part of my business for which I felt no reluctance. I was -young, remarkably athletic and self-relying, and in such affrays I -carried it with a high hand, and would elbow my way among the whites, -whom it would have been almost death for me to strike, seize my master, -and drag him out, mount him on his horse, or crowd him into his buggy, -with the ease with which I would handle a bag of corn, and at the same -time with the pride of conscious superiority, and the kindness inspired -by performing an act of benevolence. I knew I was doing for him what -he could not do for himself, and showing my superiority to others, and -acquiring their respect in some degree, at the same time. - -On one of these occasions, my master got into a quarrel with his -brother’s overseer, who was one of the party, and in rescuing the -former, I suppose I was a little more rough with the latter than -usual. I remember his falling upon the floor, and very likely it was -from the effects of a push from me, or a movement of my elbow. He -attributed his fall to me, rather than to the whiskey he had drunk, -and treasured up his vengeance for the first favorable opportunity. -About a week afterwards, I was sent by my master to a place a few miles -distant, on horseback, with some letters. I took a short cut through -a lane, separated by gates from the high road, and bounded by a fence -on each side. This lane passed through some of the farm owned by my -master’s brother, and his overseer was in the adjoining field, with -three negroes, when I went by. On my return, a half an hour afterwards, -the overseer was sitting on the fence; but I could see nothing of the -black fellows. I rode on, utterly unsuspicious of any trouble, but as -I approached, he jumped off the fence, and at the same moment two -of the negroes sprung up from under the bushes, where they had been -concealed, and stood with him, immediately in front of me; while the -third sprang over the fence just behind me. I was thus enclosed between -what I could no longer doubt were hostile forces. The overseer seized -my horse’s bridle, and ordered me to alight, in the usual elegant -phraseology used by such men to slaves. I asked what I was to alight -for. “To take the cursedest flogging you ever had in your life, you -d---d black scoundrel.” “But what am I to be flogged for, Mr. L.,” I -asked. “Not a word,” said he, “but ’light at once, and take off your -jacket.” I saw there was nothing else to be done, and slipped off the -horse on the opposite side from him. “Now take off your shirt,” cried -he; and as I demurred at this, he lifted a stick he had in his hand to -strike me, but so suddenly and violently, that he frightened the horse, -which broke away from him, and ran home. I was thus left without means -of escape, to sustain the attacks of four men, as well as I might. In -avoiding Mr. L.’s blow, I had accidentally got into a corner of the -fence, where I could not be approached except in front. The overseer -called upon the negroes to seize me; but they, knowing something of -my physical power, were rather slow to obey. At length they did their -best, and as they brought themselves within my reach, I knocked them -down successively; and one of them trying to trip up my feet when -he was down, I gave him a kick with my heavy shoe, which knocked out -several of his front teeth, and sent him groaning away. Meanwhile, -the cowardly overseer was availing himself of every opportunity to -hit me over the head with his stick, which was not heavy enough to -knock me down, though it drew blood freely. At length, tired of the -length of the affray, he seized a stake, six or seven feet long, from -the fence, and struck at me with his whole strength. In attempting to -ward off the blow, my right arm was broken, and I was brought to the -ground; where repeated blows broke both my shoulder blades, and made -the blood gush from my mouth copiously. The two blacks begged him not -to murder me, and he just left me as I was, telling me to learn what -it was to strike a white man. The alarm had been raised at the house, -by seeing the horse come back without his rider, and it was not long -before assistance arrived to convey me home. It may be supposed it -was not done without some suffering on my part; as, besides my broken -arm and the wounds on my head, I could feel and hear the pieces of -my shoulder-blades grate against each other with every breath. No -physician or surgeon was called to dress my wounds, and I never knew -one to be called to a slave upon R.’s estate, on any occasion whatever, -and have no knowledge of such a thing being done on any estate in the -neighborhood. I was attended, if it may be called attendance, by my -master’s sister, who had some reputation in such affairs; and she -splintered my arm, and bound up my back as well as she knew how, and -nature did the rest. It was five months before I could work at all, and -the first time I tried to plough, a hard knock of the colter against -a stone, shattered my shoulder-blades again, and gave me even greater -agony than at first. I have been unable to raise my hands to my head -from that day to this. My master prosecuted Mr. L. for abusing and -maiming his slave; and when the case was tried before the magistrate, -he made a statement of the facts as I have here related them. When Mr. -L. was called upon to say why he should not be fined for the offence, -he simply stated, without being put on oath, that he had acted in -self-defence; that I had assaulted him; and that nothing had saved him -from being killed on the spot by so stout a fellow, but the fortunate -circumstance that his three negroes were within call. The result was, -that my master paid all the costs of court. He had the satisfaction of -calling Mr. L. a liar and scoundrel, and, afterwards, of beating him in -a very thorough manner, for which he had also to pay a fine and costs. - -My situation, as overseer, I retained, together with the especial favor -of my master, who was not displeased either with saving the expense of -a large salary for a white superintendent, or with the superior crops -I was able to raise for him. I will not deny that I used his property -more freely than he would have done himself, in supplying his people -with better food; but if I cheated him in this way, in small matters, -it was unequivocally for his own benefit in more important ones; and -I accounted, with the strictest honesty, for every dollar I received -in the sale of the property entrusted to me. Gradually the disposal of -every thing raised on the farm, the wheat, oats, hay, fruit, butter, -and whatever else there might be, was confided to me, as it was quite -evident that I could, and did sell for better prices than any one else -he could employ, and he was quite incompetent to attend to the business -himself. For many years I was his factotum, and supplied him with all -his means for all his purposes, whether they were good or bad. I had -no reason to think highly of his moral character, but it was my duty -to be faithful to him, in the position in which he placed me; and I -can boldly declare, before God and man, that I was so. I forgave him -the causeless blows and injuries he had inflicted on me in childhood -and youth, and was proud of the favor he now showed me, and of the -character and reputation I had earned by strenuous and persevering -efforts. - -When I was about twenty-two years of age, I married a very efficient, -and, for a slave, a very well-taught girl, belonging to a neighboring -family, reputed to be pious and kind, whom I first met at the chapel -I attended; and during nearly forty years that have since elapsed, I -have had no reason to regret the connection, but many, to rejoice in -it, and be grateful for it. She has borne me twelve children, eight of -whom survive, and promise to be the comfort of my declining years. - -Things remained in this condition for a considerable period; my -occupations being to superintend the farming operations, and to sell -the produce in the neighboring markets of Washington and Georgetown. -Many respectable people, yet living there, may possibly have some -recollection of “’Siah,” or “Si,” (as they used to call me,) as their -market-man; but if they have forgotten me, I remember them with an -honest satisfaction. - -After passing his youth in the manner I have mentioned in a general -way, and which I do not wish more particularly to describe, my master, -at the age of forty-five, or upwards, married a young woman of -eighteen, who had some little property, and more thrift. Her economy -was remarkable, and was certainly no addition to the comfort of the -establishment. She had a younger brother, Francis, to whom R. was -appointed guardian, and who used to complain--not without reason, I am -confident--of the meanness of the provision made for the household; and -he would often come to me, with tears in his eyes, to tell me he could -not get enough to eat. I made him my friend for life, by sympathizing -in his emotions, and satisfying his appetite, sharing with him the food -I took care to provide for my own family. - -After a time, however, continual dissipation was more than a match for -domestic saving. My master fell into difficulty, and from difficulty -into a lawsuit with a brother-in-law, who charged him with dishonest -mismanagement of property confided to him in trust. The lawsuit was -protracted enough to cause his ruin, of itself. He used every resource -to stave off the inevitable result, but at length saw no means of -relief but removal to another State. He often came to my cabin to -pass the evening in lamentations over his misfortune, in cursing his -brother-in-law, and in asking my advice and assistance. The first -time he ever intimated to me his ultimate project, he said he was -ruined, that every thing was gone, that there was but one resource, -and that depended upon me. “How can that be, master?” said I, in -astonishment. Before he would explain himself, however, he begged me -to promise to do what he should propose, well knowing, from his past -experience of my character, that I should hold myself bound by such -promise to do all that it implied, if it were within the limits of -possibility. Solicited in this way, with urgency and tears, by the man -whom I had so zealously served for twenty years, and who now seemed -absolutely dependent upon his slave,--impelled, too, by the fear which -he skilfully awakened, that the sheriff would seize every one who -belonged to him, and that all would be separated, or perhaps sold to go -to Georgia, or Louisiana--an object of perpetual dread to the slave -of the more northern States--I consented, and promised faithfully to -do all I could to save him from the fate impending over him. He then -told me I must take his slaves to his brother, in Kentucky. In vain -I represented to him that I had never travelled a day’s journey from -his plantation, and knew nothing of the way, or the means of getting -to Kentucky. He insisted that such a smart fellow as I could travel -anywhere, he promised to give me all necessary instructions, and urged -that this was the only course by which he could be saved. The result -was, that I agreed to undertake the enterprise--certainly no light one -for me, as it could scarcely be considered for even an experienced -manager. There were eighteen negroes, besides my wife, two children, -and myself, to transport nearly a thousand miles, through a country I -knew nothing about, and in winter time, for we started in the month -of February, 1825. My master proposed to follow me in a few months, -and establish himself in Kentucky. He furnished me with a small sum of -money, and some provisions; and I bought a one-horse wagon, to carry -them, and to give the women and children a lift now and then, and the -rest of us were to trudge on foot. Fortunately for the success of the -undertaking, these people had been long under my direction, and were -devotedly attached to me for the many alleviations I had afforded to -their miserable condition, the comforts I had procured them, and the -consideration which I had always manifested for them. - -Under these circumstances no difficulty arose from want of submission -to my authority, and none of any sort, except that which I necessarily -encountered from my ignorance of the country, and my inexperience in -such business. On arriving at Wheeling, I sold the horse and wagon, and -purchased a boat of sufficient size, and floated down the river without -further trouble or fatigue, stopping every night to encamp. - -I said I had no further trouble, but there was one source of anxiety -which I was compelled to encounter, and a temptation I had to resist, -the strength of which others can appreciate as well as myself. In -passing along the State of Ohio, we were frequently told that we were -free, if we chose to be so. At Cincinnati, especially, the colored -people gathered round us, and urged us with much importunity to remain -with them; told us it was folly to go on; and in short used all the -arguments now so familiar to induce slaves to quit their masters. -My companions probably had little perception of the nature of the -boon that was offered to them, and were willing to do just as I told -them, without a wish to judge for themselves. Not so with me. From my -earliest recollection, freedom had been the object of my ambition, a -constant motive to exertion, an ever-present stimulus to gain and to -save. No other means of obtaining it, however, had occurred to me, but -purchasing myself of my master. The idea of running away was not one -that I had ever indulged. I had a sentiment of honor on the subject, or -what I thought such, which I would not have violated even for freedom; -and every cent which I had ever felt entitled to call my own, had been -treasured up for this great purpose, till I had accumulated between -thirty and forty dollars. Now was offered to me an opportunity I had -not anticipated. I might liberate my family, my companions, and myself, -without the smallest risk, and without injustice to any individual, -except one whom we had none of us any reason to love, who had been -guilty of cruelty and oppression to us all for many years, and who had -never shown the smallest symptom of sympathy with us, or with any one -in our condition. But I need not make the exception. There would have -been no injustice to R. himself--it would have been a retribution which -might be called righteous--if I had availed myself of the opportunity -thus thrust suddenly upon me. - -But it was a punishment which it was not for me to inflict. I had -promised that man to take his property to Kentucky, and deposit it -with his brother; and this, and this only, I resolved to do. I left -Cincinnati before night, though I had intended to remain there, -and encamped with my entire party a few miles below the city. What -advantages I may have lost, by thus throwing away an opportunity of -obtaining freedom, I know not; but the perception of my own strength -of character, the feeling of integrity, the sentiment of high honor, I -have experienced.--these advantages I do know, and prize; and would not -lose them, nor the recollection of having attained them, for all that -I can imagine to have resulted from an earlier release from bondage. -I have often had painful doubts as to the propriety of my carrying so -many other individuals into slavery again, and my consoling reflection -has been, that I acted as I thought at the time was best. - -I arrived at Daviess county, Kentucky, about the middle of April, -1825, and delivered myself and my companions to Mr. Amos R., the -brother of my owner, who had a large plantation, with from eighty to -one hundred negroes. His house was situated about five miles south -of the Ohio River, and fifteen miles above the Yellow Banks, on Big -Blackford’s Creek. There I remained three years, expecting my master -to follow; and employed meantime on the farm, of which I had the -general management, in consequence of the recommendation for ability -and honesty which I brought with me from Maryland. The situation was -in many respects more comfortable than that I had left. The farm was -larger, and more fertile, and there was a greater abundance of food, -which is, of course, one of the principal sources of the comfort of -a slave, debarred, as he is, from so many enjoyments which other -men can obtain. Sufficiency of food is a pretty important item in -any man’s account of life; but is tenfold more so in that of the -slave, whose appetite is always stimulated by as much labor as he can -perform, and whose mind is little occupied by thought on subjects of -deeper interest. My post of superintendent gave me some advantages, -too, of which I did not fail to avail myself, particularly with -regard to those religious privileges, which, since I first heard of -Christ and Christianity, had greatly occupied my mind. In Kentucky, -the opportunities of attending on the preaching of whites, as well -as of blacks, were more numerous; and partly by attending them, and -the camp-meetings which occurred from time to time, and partly from -studying carefully my own heart, and observing the developments of -character around me, in all the stations of life which I could watch, I -became better acquainted with those religious feelings which are deeply -implanted in the breast of every human being, and learnt by practice -how best to arouse them, and keep them excited, how to stir up the -callous and indifferent, and in general to produce some good religious -impressions on the ignorant and thoughtless community by which I was -surrounded. - -No great amount of theological knowledge is requisite for the purpose. -If it had been, it is manifest enough that preaching never could have -been my vocation; but I am persuaded that, speaking from the fulness of -a heart deeply impressed with its own sinfulness and imperfection, and -with the mercy of God, in Christ Jesus, my humble ministrations have -not been entirely useless to those who have had less opportunity than -myself to reflect upon these all-important subjects. It is certain that -I could not refrain from the endeavor to do what I saw others doing in -this field; and I labored at once to improve myself and those about -me in the cultivation of the harvests which ripen only in eternity. I -cannot but derive some satisfaction, too, from the proofs I have had -that my services have been acceptable to those to whom they have been -rendered. In the course of the three years from 1825 to 1828, I availed -myself of all the opportunities of improvement which occurred, and -was admitted as a preacher by a Conference of the Methodist Episcopal -Church. - -In the spring of the year 1828, news arrived from my master that he -was unable to induce his wife to accompany him to Kentucky, and he -must therefore remain where he was. He sent out an agent to sell -all his slaves but me and my family, and to carry back the proceeds -to him. And now another of those heart-rending scenes was to be -witnessed, which had impressed itself so deeply on my childish soul. -Husbands and wives, parents and children were to be separated forever. -Affections, which are as strong in the African as in the European -were to be cruelly disregarded; and the iron selfishness generated by -the hateful “institution” was to be exhibited in its most odious and -naked deformity. I was exempted from a personal share in the dreadful -calamity, but I could not see without the deepest grief the agony which -I recollected in my own mother, and which was again brought before my -eyes in the persons with whom I had been long associated; nor could I -refrain from the bitterest feeling of hatred of the system and those -who sustain it. What else, indeed, can be the feeling of the slave, -liable at every moment of his life to these frightful and unnecessary -calamities, which may be caused by the caprice of the abandoned, or -the supposed necessities of the better part of the slaveholders, and -inflicted upon him without sympathy or redress, under the sanction of -the laws which uphold the institution? I lamented my agency in bringing -the poor creatures hither, if such was to be the end of the expedition; -but I could not reproach myself with having made their condition -really worse, nor with any thing but complying with the commands of a -heartless master. - -In the course of the summer of 1828, a Methodist preacher, a white man -of some reputation, visited our neighborhood, and I became acquainted -with him. He was soon interested in me, and visited me frequently, and -one day talked to me in a confidential manner about my position. He -said I ought to be free; that I had too much capacity to be confined to -the limited and comparatively useless sphere of a slave; “and though,” -said he, “I must not be known to have spoken to you on this subject, -yet if you will obtain Mr. Amos’s consent to go to see your old master -in Maryland, I will try and put you in a way by which I think you may -succeed in buying yourself.” He said this to me more than once; and as -it was in harmony with all my aspirations and wishes, was flattering -to my self-esteem, and could be attended with no harm that I could -foresee, I soon resolved to make the attempt to get the necessary -leave. Somewhat to my surprise, Master Amos made no objection; but -gave me a pass to go to Maryland and back, with some remarks which -showed his sense of the value of my services to him, and his opinion -that I had earned such a privilege if I desired it. Furnished with -this, and with a letter of recommendation from my Methodist friend -to a brother preacher in Cincinnati, I started about the middle of -September, 1828, for the east. By the aid of the good man to whom I -had a letter, I had an opportunity of preaching in two or three of -the pulpits of Cincinnati, when I took the opportunity of stating my -purpose, and was liberally aided in it by contributions made on the -spot. My friend also procured some subscriptions in the city, so that -in three or four days I left it with not less than one hundred and -sixty dollars in my pocket. The annual Methodist Conference was about -to be held at Chillicothe, to which my kind friend accompanied me, and -by his influence and exertions I succeeded well there also. By his -advice I then purchased a suit of respectable clothes, and an excellent -horse, and travelled leisurely from town to town, preaching as I went, -and, wherever circumstances were favorable, soliciting aid in my -great object. I succeeded so well, that when I arrived at Montgomery -county, I was master of two hundred and seventy-five dollars, besides -my horse and my clothes. My master was surprised to see me dressed -and mounted in so respectable a style, and I must say my horse was a -good one, and my clothes better than Mr. R.’s; and he was a little -puzzled to understand why I was so long in reaching home, for it was -now Christmas, and he had been informed that I had left Kentucky in -September. I gave him such an account of my preaching and getting the -assistance of friends, as, while it was consistent with the truth, and -explained my appearance, did not betray to him my principal purpose. -Amid expressions of an apparently cordial welcome, I could discern -plainly enough the look of displeasure that a slave should have got -possession of such luxuries; and he bantered me not a little, in his -coarse way, upon my preaching, and my being so speedily converted -into a “black gentleman.” He asked for my pass, and saw that it was -expressed so as to authorize my return to Kentucky. He then handed it -to his wife, and desired her to put it into the desk. The manœuvre was -cool, but I resolved to manœuvre too. - -At night I was sent to such quarters as I had been accustomed to -long enough,--the cabin used for a kitchen, with its earth floor, -its filth, and its numerous occupants;--but it was so different from -my accommodations in the free States for the last three months, and -so incompatible with my nice wardrobe, that I looked round me with a -sensation of disgust that was new to me; and instead of going to sleep, -I sat down and deliberated upon the best plan to adopt for my next -proceedings. I found my mother had died during my absence, and every -tie which had ever connected me with this place was broken. Strangers -were around me here, the slaves being those Mrs. R. had brought to -her husband, and I had not a friend to consult but Master Frank, the -brother of R.’s wife, before mentioned, who was now of age, and had -established himself in business in Washington. To him I resolved to -go, and as soon as I thought it time to start, I saddled my horse and -rode up to the house. It was early in the morning, and my master had -already gone to the tavern on his usual business, but Mrs. R. came out -to look at my horse and equipments. “Where are you going, ’Siah?” was -the natural question. I replied, “I am going to Washington, Mistress, -to see Mr. Frank, and I must take my pass with me if you please.” “O, -everybody knows you here; you won’t need your pass.” “But I can’t go to -Washington without it. I may be met by some surly stranger, who will -stop me and plague me, if he can’t do any thing worse.” “Well, I’ll get -it for you,” she answered; and glad was I to see her return with it in -her hand, and to have her give it to me, while she little imagined its -importance to my plan. - -My reception by Master Frank was all I expected, as kind and hearty as -possible. He was delighted at my appearance, and I immediately told -him all my plans and hopes. He entered cordially into them, with that -sympathy which penetrates the heart of a slave, as little accustomed -as I had been, to the exhibition of any such feeling on the part of a -white man. I found he had a thorough detestation of Mr. R., whom he -charged with having defrauded him of a large proportion of his property -which he had held as guardian, though, as he was still on terms with -him, he readily agreed to negotiate for my freedom, and bring him to -the most favorable bargain. Accordingly, in a few days he rode over to -the house, and had a long conversation with R. on the subject of my -emancipation. He disclosed to him the facts that I had got some money, -and _my pass_, and urged that I was a smart fellow, who was bent upon -getting his freedom, and had served the family faithfully for many -years; that I had really paid for myself a hundred times over, in the -increased amount of produce I had raised by my skill and influence; and -that if he did not take care, and accept a fair offer when I made it -to him, he would find some day that I had the means to do without his -help, and that he would see neither me nor my money; that with my horse -and my pass I was pretty independent of him already, and he had better -make up his mind to what was really inevitable, and do it with a good -grace. By such arguments as these, Mr. Frank not only induced him to -think of the thing, but before long brought him to an actual bargain, -by which he agreed to give me my manumission papers for four hundred -and fifty dollars, of which three hundred and fifty dollars were to be -in cash, and the remainder in my note. My money and my horse enabled me -to pay the cash at once, and thus my great hopes seemed in a fair way -of being realized. - -Some time was spent in the negotiations for this affair, and it was -not till the 9th of March, 1829, that I received my manumission papers -in due form of law. I was prepared to start immediately on my return -to Kentucky, and on the 10th, as I was getting ready in the morning -for my journey, my master accosted me in a very pleasant and friendly -manner, and entered into conversation with me about my plans. He asked -me what I was going to do with my freedom certificate; whether I was -going to show it if I were questioned on the road. I told him yes, -that I supposed it was given to me for that very purpose. “Ah,” said -he, “you do not understand the dangers to which you are exposed. You -may meet with some ruffian slave-purchaser who will rob you of that -piece of paper, and destroy it. You will then be thrown into prison, -and sold for your jail fees, before any of your friends can know it. -Why should you show it at all? You can go to Kentucky in perfect safety -with your pass. Let me enclose that valuable document for you under -cover to my brother, and nobody will dare to break a seal, for that -is a State prison matter; and when you arrive in Kentucky you will -have it all safe and sound.” This seemed most friendly advice, and I -felt very grateful for his kindness. I accordingly saw him enclose -my precious piece of paper in two or three envelopes, seal it with -three seals, and direct it to his brother in Daviess County, Kentucky, -in my care. Leaving immediately for Wheeling, to which place I was -obliged to travel on foot, I there took boat, and in due time reached -my destination. I was arrested repeatedly on the way, but by insisting -always upon being carried before a magistrate, I succeeded in escaping -all serious impediments by means of my pass, which was quite regular, -and could not be set aside by any responsible authority. - -It so happened that the boat which took me down from Louisville, landed -me about dark, and my walk of five miles brought me to the plantation -at bed-time. I went directly to my own cabin, where I found my wife and -little ones well; and of course, we had a good deal to communicate to -each other. Letters had reached the “great house,” as the master’s was -always called, long before I had arrived, telling them what I had been -doing, and the children of the family had been eager to communicate -the great news to my wife,--how I had been preaching, and raising -money, and making a bargain for my freedom. It was not long before -Charlotte began to tell me with much excitement what she had heard, and -to question me about how I had raised the money I had paid, and how I -expected to get the remainder of the _thousand dollars_ I was to give -for my freedom. I could scarcely believe my ears; but before telling -her how the case exactly was, I questioned her again and again as to -what she had heard. She persisted in repeating the same story as she -had heard it from my master’s letters, and I began to perceive the -trick that had been played upon me, and to see the management by which -Isaac R. had contrived that the only evidence of my freedom should be -kept from every eye but that of his brother Amos, who was instructed -to retain it till I had made up six hundred and fifty dollars, the -balance I was reported to have agreed to pay. Indignation is a faint -word to express my deep sense of such villainy. I was without the means -of setting myself right. The only witness to the truth was my friend -Frank, who was a thousand miles off; and I could neither write to him, -nor get any one else to do it. Every man about me who could write was a -slaveholder; and what chance had I to be believed, or to get evidence -to the truth. In this dilemma I resolved not to deliver the paper to -Amos, and told my wife I had not seen it since I was in Louisville. It -might be in my bag, and perhaps it was lost; but at all events I did -not wish to see it again at present; and if she should find it, and put -it in some place which I did not know, it would be the best disposition -of it. In a few minutes she went out, and I remained in ignorance where -it was, till circumstances, presently to be mentioned, rendered it -necessary for me to have it again. - -The next morning I went up to the house, and showed myself to Mr. Amos, -who welcomed me with apparent cordiality, and who, I have no doubt, -was really glad to see me, as my time and labor were important to him. -We had a long conversation, and after rallying me, as his brother had -done, about my being turned fine gentleman, he entered upon the subject -of my freedom, and told me what Isaac had written to him about the -price I was to pay, how much I had already made up, &c. I found my wife -was right. He then asked me if I had not a paper for him. I told him -I certainly had received something for him, of which I had taken the -greatest care; but that the last time I had seen it was at Louisville, -and that now it was not in my bag, and I did not know what had become -of it. I could not conceive how it could be lost, and yet I could not -find it. He expressed great concern, and sent me back to the landing to -see if it had been dropped on the way. When the search proved in vain, -he told me that, after all, it was of no consequence, for whenever I -made up the money, his brother would renew the paper. “But,” said he, -“you have given too much for yourself. Isaac has been too hard upon -you, and I don’t see how you are going to get so much in Kentucky.” - -All this was very smooth and pleasant to a man who was in a frenzy -of grief at the base and apparently irremediable trick that had been -played upon him. I consoled myself as well as I could, and set about -my work again, with as quiet a mind as I could command, resolved to -trust in God, and never despair. Things went on as usual for about a -year, when, one day, Mr. Amos told me that his brother kept writing -to him about his want of money; and intimated that perhaps I might be -ready to pay another instalment of my price. I told him I had nothing, -as he knew very well, and that he never had said what he would allow -me, or whether he would allow me anything for my labor in his service. -That put an end to the conversation at the time, for he did not like -the idea of paying for the labor I had bestowed on his farm, the care -of his stock and of his people. It was not long, however, before the -subject was brought up again, and he said Isaac was perpetually telling -him he must have money, and added that I must get ready to go to New -Orleans with his son Amos, a young man about twenty-one years of age, -who was going down the river with a flat boat, and was nearly ready -to start; in fact he was to leave the next day, and I must go and take -care of him, and help him dispose of the cargo. The intimation was -enough. Though it was not distinctly stated, yet I well knew what was -intended, and my heart sunk within me at the near prospect of this -fatal blight to all my long-cherished hopes. There was no alternative -but death itself; and I thought that there was hope as long as there -was life, and I would not despair even yet. The expectation of my fate, -however, produced the degree of misery nearest to that of despair; -and it is in vain for me to attempt to describe the wretchedness I -experienced as I made ready to go on board the flat boat. I had little -preparation to make, to be sure; and there was but one thing that -seemed to me important. I asked my wife to sew up my manumission paper -securely in a piece of cloth, and to sew that again round my person. I -thought that having possession of it might be the means of saving me -yet, and I would not neglect any thing that offered the smallest chance -of escape from the frightful servitude that threatened me. - -My wife and children accompanied me to the landing, where I bade -them an adieu, which might be for life, and then stepped into the -boat, which I found manned by three white men, who had been hired for -the trip. Mr. Amos and myself were the only other persons on board. -The load consisted of beef-cattle, pigs, poultry, corn, whiskey, -and other articles from the farm, and from some of the neighboring -estates, which were to be sold as we dropped down the river, wherever -they could be disposed of to the greatest advantage. It was a common -trading voyage to New Orleans, in which I was embarked, the interest -of which consisted not in the incidents that occurred, not in storms, -or shipwreck, or external disaster of any sort; but in the storm of -passions contending within me, and the imminent risk of the shipwreck -of my soul, which was impending over me nearly the whole period of the -voyage. One circumstance, only, I will mention, illustrating, as other -events of my life have often done, the counsel of the Saviour, “He that -will be chief among you, let him be your servant.” - -We were, of course, all bound to take our trick at the helm in turn, -sometimes under direction of the captain, and sometimes on our own -responsibility, as he could not be always awake. In the daytime there -was less difficulty than at night, when it required some one who knew -the river, to avoid sand-bars and snags, and the captain was the only -person on board who had this knowledge. But whether by day or by night, -as I was the only negro on the boat, I was made to stand at least three -tricks to any other person’s one; so that from being much with the -captain, and frequently thrown upon my own exertions, I learnt the art -of steering and managing the boat far better than the rest. I watched -the manœuvres necessary to shoot by a sawyer, to land on a bank, or -avoid a snag, or a steamboat, in the rapid current of the Mississippi, -till I could do it as well as the captain. After a while the captain -had a disease of the eyes, by which they became very much inflamed and -swollen. He was soon rendered totally blind, and unable to perform -his share of duty. This disorder is not an infrequent consequence of -exposure to the intense light of the sun, doubled as it is by the -reflection from the river. I was the person who could best take his -place, and I was, in fact, master of the boat from that time till our -arrival at New Orleans. - -After the captain became blind, we were obliged to lie by at night, -as none of the rest of us had been down the river before; and it was -necessary to keep watch all night, to prevent depredations by the -negroes on shore, who used frequently to attack such boats as ours, for -the sake of the provisions on board. As I paced backwards and forwards -on the deck, during my watch, it may well be believed I revolved many -a painful and passionate thought. After all that I had done for Isaac -and Amos R., after all the regard they professed for me, and the value -they could not but put upon me, such a return as this for my services, -such an evidence of their utter inattention to my claims upon them, -and the intense selfishness with which they were ready to sacrifice -me, at any moment, to their supposed interest, turned my blood to -gall and wormwood, and changed me from a lively, and I will say, a -pleasant-tempered fellow, into a savage, morose, dangerous slave. I was -going not at all as a lamb to the slaughter, but I felt myself becoming -more ferocious every day; and as we approached the place where this -iniquity was to be consummated, I became more and more agitated with -an almost uncontrollable fury. I had met, on the passage, with some -of my Maryland acquaintance who had been sold off to this region; and -their haggard and wasted appearance told a piteous story of excessive -labor and insufficient food. I said to myself, “If this is to be my -lot, I cannot survive it long. I am not so young as these men, and if -it has brought them to such a condition, it will soon kill me. I am to -be taken by my masters and owners, who ought to be my grateful friends, -to a place and a condition where my life is to be shortened, as well as -made more wretched. Why should I not prevent this wrong, if I can, by -shortening their lives, or those of their agents in accomplishing such -detestable injustice? I can do the last easily enough. They have no -suspicion of me, and they are at this moment under my control, and in -my power. There are many ways in which I can despatch them and escape, -and I feel that I should be justified in availing myself of the first -good opportunity.” These were not thoughts which just flitted across -my mind’s eye, and then disappeared. They fashioned themselves into -shapes which grew larger, and seemed firmer, every time they presented -themselves; and at length my mind was made up to convert the phantom -shadow into a positive reality. I resolved to kill my four companions, -take what money there was in the boat, then to scuttle the craft, and -escape to the north. It was a poor plan, may-be, and would very likely -have failed; but it was as well contrived, under the circumstances, as -the plans of murderers usually are; and blinded by passion, and stung -to madness as I was, I could not see any difficulty about it. One dark, -rainy night, within a few days of New Orleans, my hour seemed to have -come. I was alone on the deck; Mr. Amos and the hands were all asleep -below, and I crept down noiselessly, got hold of an axe, entered the -cabin, and looking by the aid of the dim light there for my victims, my -eye fell upon Master Amos, who was nearest to me; my hand slid along -the axe-handle, I raised it to strike the fatal blow,--when suddenly -the thought came to me, “What! commit _murder_! and you a Christian?” -I had not called it murder before. It was self-defence,--it was -preventing others from murdering me,--it was justifiable, it was even -praiseworthy. But now, all at once, the truth burst upon me that it -was a crime. I was going to kill a young man, who had done nothing to -injure me, but obey commands which he could not resist; I was about to -lose the fruit of all my efforts at self-improvement, the character -I had acquired, and the peace of mind which had never deserted me. -Ah this came upon me instantly, and with a distinctness which made -me almost think I heard it whispered in my ear; and I believe I even -turned my head to listen. I shrunk back, laid down the axe, crept up on -deck again, and thanked God, as I have done every day since, that I had -not committed murder. - -My feelings were still agitated, but they were changed. I was filled -with shame and remorse for the design I had entertained, and with the -fear that my companions would detect it in my face, or that a careless -word would betray my guilty thoughts. I remained on deck all night, -instead of rousing one of the men to relieve me, and nothing brought -composure to my mind, but the solemn resolution I then made to resign -myself to the will of God, and take with thankfulness, if I could, but -with submission, at all events, whatever he might decide should be my -lot. I reflected that if my life were reduced to a brief term, I should -have less to suffer, and that it was better to die with a Christian’s -hope, and a quiet conscience, than to live with the incessant -recollection of a crime that would destroy the value of life, and under -the weight of a secret that would crush out the satisfaction that might -be expected from freedom and every other blessing. - -It was long before I recovered my self-control and serenity; but I -believe no one but those to whom I have told the story myself, ever -suspected me of having entertained such thoughts for a moment. - -In a few days after this tremendous crisis we arrived in New Orleans, -and the little that remained of our cargo was soon sold, the men were -discharged, and nothing was left but to dispose of me, and break up -the boat, and then Mr. Amos would take passage on a steamboat, and go -home. There was no longer any disguise about the purpose of selling -me. Mr. Amos acknowledged that such were his instructions, and he set -about fulfilling them. Several planters came to the boat to look at me; -and I was sent of some hasty errand, that they might see how I could -run. My points were canvassed as those of a horse would have been; -and doubtless some account of my human faculties was thrown into the -discussion of the bargain, that my value as a domestic animal might be -enhanced. Amos had talked, with apparent kindness, about getting me a -good master, who would employ me as a coachman, or as a house-servant; -but as time passed on I could discern no particular effort of the kind. -At length every thing was wound up but this single affair. The boat -was to be sold, and I was to be sold, the next day, and Amos was to -set off on his return, at six o’clock in the afternoon. I could not -sleep that night, which seemed long enough to me, though it was one of -the shortest in the year. The slow way in which we had come down had -brought us to the long days and the heat of June; and everybody knows -what the climate of New Orleans is at that time of the year. - -A little before daylight master Amos awoke indisposed. His stomach was -disordered, but he lay down again, thinking it would pass off. In a -little while he was up again, and felt more sick than before, and it -was soon evident that the river fever was upon him. He became rapidly -worse, and by eight o’clock in the morning he was utterly prostrate; -his head was on my lap, and he was begging me to help him, to do -something for him, to save him. The tables were turned. He was now -rather more dependent upon me than I had been upon him the day before. -He entreated me to despatch matters, to sell the flat boat, in which -we two had been living by ourselves for some days, and to get him and -his trunk, containing the proceeds of the trip, on board the steamer -as quick as possible, and especially not to desert him so long as he -lived, nor to suffer his body, if he died, to be thrown into the river. -I attended to all his requests, and by twelve o’clock that day, he was -in one of the cabins of the steamer appropriated to sick passengers. - -All was done which could be done for the comfort and relief of any -one in such a desperate condition. But he was reduced to extremity. -He ceased to grow worse after a day or two, and he must speedily have -died, if he had not; but his strength was so entirely gone, that he -could neither speak, nor move a limb; and could only indicate his wish -for a teaspoonful of gruel, or something to moisten his throat, by -a feeble motion of his lips. I nursed him carefully and constantly. -Nothing else could have saved his life. It hung by a thread for a long -time. We were as much as twelve days in reaching home, for the water -was low at that season, particularly in the Ohio river; and when we -arrived at our landing he was still unable to speak, and could only be -moved on a sheet, or a litter. Something of this sort was soon fixed -up at the landing, on which he could be carried to the house, which -was five miles off; and I got a party of the slaves belonging to the -estate to form relays for the purpose. As we approached the house, the -surprise at seeing me back again, and the perplexity to imagine what I -was bringing along, with such a party, were extreme; but the discovery -was soon made which explained the strange appearance; and the grief -of father and mother, and brothers and sisters, made itself seen and -heard. Loud and long were the lamentations over poor Amos; and when -the family came a little to themselves, great were the commendations -bestowed upon me, for my care of him and of the property. - -We arrived home about the tenth of July, but it was not till the middle -of August that Amos was well enough to move out of his chamber, though -he had been convalescent all the while. As soon as he could speak, he -told all I had done for him, and said, “If I had sold him, I should -have died;” but it never seemed to occur to him or the rest of the -family that they were under any, the slightest, obligation to me on -that account. I had done well as a slave, and to have it acknowledged, -and to be praised for it, was compensation enough for me. My merits, -whatever they were, instead of exciting sympathy, or any feeling of -attachment to me, seemed only to enhance my money value to them. This -was not the view which I took of the case myself; and as soon as Amos -began to recover, I began to meditate upon a plan of escape from the -danger, in which I constantly stood, of a repetition of the attempt to -sell me in the highest market. Providence seemed to have interfered -once to defeat the scheme, but I could not expect such extraordinary -circumstances to be repeated, and I was bound to do every thing in -my power to secure myself and my family from the wicked conspiracy -of Isaac and Amos R. against my life, as well as against my natural -rights in my own person, and those which I had acquired, under even -the barbarous laws of slavery, by the money I had paid for myself. If -Isaac would only have been honest enough to adhere to his own bargain, -I would have adhered to mine, and paid him all I had promised. But -his attempt to kidnap me again, after having pocketed three-fourths -of my market value, absolved me from all obligation, in my opinion, -to pay him any more, or to continue in a position which exposed me -to his machinations. I determined to make my escape to Canada, about -which I had heard something, as beyond the limits of the United States; -for, notwithstanding there were free States in the Union, I felt that -I should be safer under an entirely foreign jurisdiction. The slave -States had their emissaries in the others, and I feared that I might -fall into their hands, and need a stronger protection than might be -afforded me by public opinion in the northern States at that time. - -It was not without long thought on the subject that I devised a plan -of escape; but when I had fully made up my mind, I communicated my -intention to my wife, who was too much terrified by the dangers of the -attempt to do any thing, at first, but endeavor to dissuade me from it, -and try to make me contented with my condition as it was. In vain I -explained to her the liability we were in of being separated from our -children as well as from each other; and presented every argument which -had weighed with my own mind, and had at last decided me. She had not -gone through my trials, and female timidity overcame her sense of the -evils she had experienced. I argued the matter with her, at various -times, till I was satisfied that argument alone would not prevail; -and then I said to her, very deliberately, that though it was a cruel -thing for me to part with her, yet I would do it, and take all the -children with me but the youngest, rather than run the risk of forcible -separation from them all, and of a much worse captivity besides, which -we were constantly exposed to here. She wept and entreated, but found I -was resolute, and after a whole night spent in talking over the matter, -I left her to go to my work for the day. I had not gone far when I -heard her voice calling me;--I waited till she came up to me, and then, -finding me as determined as ever, she said, at last, she would go with -me. It was an immense relief to my nerves, and my tears flowed as fast -as hers had done before. I rode off with a heart a good deal lighter. - -She was living, at the time, near the landing I have mentioned; for the -plantation extended the whole five miles from the house to the river, -and there were several different farms, all of which I was overseeing, -and, therefore, riding about from one to another every day. The oldest -boy was at the house with Master Amos, the rest were all with her. -Her consent was given on Thursday morning, and on the night of the -following Saturday, I had decided to set out, as it would then be -several days before I should be missed, and I should get a good start. -Some time previously I had got my wife to make me a large knapsack, -big enough to hold the two smallest children; and I had arranged it -that she should lead the second boy, while the oldest was stout enough -to go by himself, and to help me carry the necessary food. I used to -pack the little ones on my back, of an evening, after I had got through -my day’s work, and trot round the cabin with them, and go some little -distance from it, in order to accustom both them and myself to the task -before us. - -At length the eventful night came. I went up to the house to ask leave -to take Tom home with me that he might have his clothes mended. No -objection was made, and I bade Master Amos “goodnight” for the last -time. It was about the middle of September, and by nine o’clock in -the evening all was ready. It was a dark, moonless night, and we got -into the little skiff in which I had induced a fellow-slave to take -us across the river. It was an agitating and solemn moment. The good -fellow who was rowing us over, said this affair might end in his death; -“but,” said he, “you will not be brought back alive, will you?” “Not if -I can help it,” I answered. “And if you are overpowered and return,” -he asked, “will you conceal my part of the business?” “That I will, so -help me God,” I replied. “Then I am easy,” he answered, “and wish you -success.” We landed on the Indiana shore, and I began to feel that I -was my own master. But in what circumstances of fear and misery still! -We were to travel by night, and rest by day, in the woods and bushes. -We were thrown absolutely upon our own poor and small resources, and -were to rely on our own strength alone. The population was not so -numerous as now, nor so well disposed to the slave. We dared look to no -one for help. But my courage was equal to the occasion, and we trudged -on cautiously and steadily, and as fast as the darkness, and the -feebleness of my wife and boys would allow. - -It was nearly a fortnight before we reached Cincinnati; and a day or -two previous to getting there, our provisions were used up, and I had -the misery to hear the cry of hunger and exhaustion from those I loved -so dearly. It was necessary to run the risk of exposure by day-light -upon the road; so I sprung upon it boldly from our hiding place one -morning, and turned towards the south, to prevent the suspicion of my -going the other way. I approached the first house I saw, and asked if -they would sell me a little bread and meat. No, they had nothing for -black fellows. At the next I succeeded better, but had to make as good -a bargain as I could, and that was not very successful, with a man who -wanted to see how little he could give me for my quarter of a dollar. -As soon as I had succeeded in making a purchase, I followed the road, -still towards the south, till I got out of sight of the house, and then -darted into the woods again, and returned northward, just out of sight -of the road. The food which I bought, such as it was, put new life -and strength into my wife and children when I got back to them again, -and we at length arrived safe at Cincinnati. There we were kindly -received and entertained for several days, my wife and little ones were -refreshed, and then we were carried on our way thirty miles in a wagon. - -We followed the same course as before, of travelling by night, and -resting by day, till we arrived at the Scioto, where we had been told -we should strike the military road of General Hull, in the last war -with Great Britain, and might then safely travel by day. We found the -road, accordingly, by the large sycamore and elm which marked its -beginning, and entered upon it with fresh spirits early in the day. -Nobody had told us that it was cut through the wilderness, and I had -neglected to provide any food, thinking we should soon come to some -habitation, where we could be supplied. But we travelled on all day -without seeing one, and laid down at night, hungry and weary enough. -I thought I heard the howling of wolves, and the terror inspired by -this, and the exertions I used to keep them off, by making as much -noise as I could, took away all power of sleeping, till daylight, and -rendered a little delay inevitable. In the morning we were as hungry as -ever, but had nothing to relieve our appetites but a little piece of -dried beef. I divided some of this all round, and then started for a -second day’s trip in the wilderness. It was a hard trial, and this day -is a memorable one in my life. The road was rough, of course, being -neglected, and the logs lying across it constantly; the underbrush was -somewhat cleared away, and that was about all to mark the track. As we -went wearily on, I was a little ahead of my wife and the boys, when I -heard them call to me, and, turning round, saw that my wife had fallen -over a log, and was prostrate on the ground. “Mother’s dying,” cried -Tom; and when I reached her, it seemed really so. She had fainted. I -did not know but it might be fatal, and was half distracted with the -fear and the uncertainty. In a few minutes, however, she recovered -sufficiently to take a few mouthfuls of the beef, and this, with a -little rest, revived her so much that she bravely set out once more. - -We had not gone far, and I suppose it was about three o’clock in the -afternoon, when we discerned some persons approaching us at no great -distance. We were instantly on the alert, as we could hardly expect -them to be friends. The advance of a few paces showed me they were -Indians, with packs on their shoulders; and they were so near that -if they were hostile, it would be useless to try to escape. So I -walked along boldly, till we came close upon them. They were bent down -with their burdens, and had not raised their eyes till now; and when -they did so, and saw me coming towards them, they looked at me in a -frightened sort of way for a moment, and then, setting up a peculiar -howl, turned round, and ran as fast as they could. There were three or -four of them, and what they were afraid of I could not imagine, unless -they supposed I was the devil, whom they had perhaps heard of as black. -But even then one would have thought my wife and children might have -reassured them. However, there was no doubt they were well frightened, -and we heard their wild and prolonged howl, as they ran, for a mile or -more. My wife was alarmed too, and thought they were merely running -back to collect more of a party, and then to come and murder us, and -she wanted to turn back. I told her they were numerous enough to do -that, if they wanted to, without help; and that as for turning back, -I had had quite too much of the road behind us, and that it would be -a ridiculous thing that both parties should run away. If they were -disposed to run, I would follow. We did follow on, and soon the noise -was stopped; and, as we advanced, we could discover Indians peeping at -us from behind the trees, and dodging out of our sight, if they thought -we were looking at them. Presently we came upon their wigwams, and saw -a fine looking, stately Indian, with his arms folded, waiting for us -to approach. He was apparently the chief, and, saluting us civilly, -he soon discovered that we were human beings, and spoke to his young -men, who were scattered about, and made them come in, and give up their -foolish fears. And now curiosity seemed to prevail. Each one wanted to -touch the children, who were shy as partridges, with their long life in -the woods; and as they shrunk away, and uttered a little cry of alarm, -the Indian would jump back too, as if he thought they would bite him. -However, a little while sufficed to make them understand what we were, -and whither we were going, and what we needed; and as little, to set -them about supplying our wants, feeding us bountifully, and giving us -a comfortable wigwam for our night’s rest. The next day we resumed our -march, and found, from the Indians, that we were only about twenty-five -miles from the lake. They sent some of their young men to point out -the place where we were to turn off, and parted from us with as much -kindness as possible. - -In passing over the part of Ohio near the lake, where such an extensive -plain is found, we came to a spot overflowed by a stream, across which -the road passed. I forded it first, with the help of a sounding-pole, -and then taking the children on my back, first, the two little ones, -and then the others, one at a time, and, lastly, my wife, I succeeded -in getting them all safely across, where the ford was one hundred to -one hundred and fifty yards wide, and the deepest part perhaps four -feet deep. At this time the skin was worn from my back to an extent -almost equal to the size of my knapsack. - -One night more was passed in the woods, and in the course of the next -forenoon we came out upon the wide plain, without trees, which lies -south and west of Sandusky city. We saw the houses of the village, and -kept away from them for the present, till I should have an opportunity -to reconnoitre a little. When about a mile from the lake, I hid my -companions in the bushes, and pushed forward. Before I had gone far, -I observed on the left, on the opposite side from the town, something -which looked like a house, between which and a vessel, a number of -men were passing and repassing with activity. I promptly decided to -approach them; and, as I drew near, I was hailed by one of the number, -who asked me if I wanted to work. I told him yes; and it was scarcely -a minute before I had hold of a bag of corn, which, like the rest, I -emptied into the hold of the vessel lying at anchor a few rods off. -I got into the line of laborers hurrying along the plank next to the -only colored man I saw engaged, and soon entered into conversation with -him; in the course of which I inquired of him where they were going, -the best route to Canada, who was the captain, and other particulars -interesting to me, and communicated to him where I came from, and -whither I wished to go. He told the captain, who called me one side, -and by his frank look and manner soon induced me to acknowledge my -condition and purpose. I found I had not mistaken him. He sympathized -with me, at once, most heartily; and offered to take me and my family -to Buffalo, whither they were bound, and where they might arrive the -next evening, if the favorable wind continued, of which they were -hurrying to take advantage. Never did men work with a better will, and -soon two or three hundred bushels were thrown on board, the hatches -were fastened down, the anchor raised, and the sails hoisted. The -captain had agreed to send a boat for me, after sundown, rather than -take me on board at the landing; as there were Kentucky spies, he -said, on the watch for slaves, at Sandusky, who might get a glimpse -of me, if I brought my party out of the bush by daylight. I watched -the vessel, as she left her moorings, with intense interest, and began -to fear that she would go without me, after all; she stretched off -to so great a distance, as it seemed to me, before she rounded to. -At length, however, I saw her come up to the wind, and lower a boat -for the shore; and, in a few minutes, my black friend and two sailors -jumped out upon the beach. They went with me, immediately, to bring my -wife and children. But what was my alarm when I came back to the place -where I had left them, to find they had gone! For a moment, my fears -were overpowering; but I soon discerned them, in the fading twilight, -at no great distance. My wife had been alarmed by my long absence, and -thought I must have been discovered by some of our watchful enemies, -and had given up all for lost. Her fears were not removed by seeing -me returning with three other men; and she tried to hide herself. It -was not without difficulty that I satisfied her all was right, for her -agitation was so great that she could not, at once, understand what I -said. However, this was soon over, and the kindness of my companions -facilitated the matter very much. Before long, we were all on the way -to the boat, and it did not require much time or labor to embark our -luggage. A short row brought us to the vessel, and, to my astonishment, -we were welcomed on board, with three hearty cheers; for the crew -were as much pleased as the captain, with the help they were giving -us to escape. A fine run brought us to Buffalo the next evening, but -it was too late to cross the river that night. The next morning we -dropped down, to Black Rock, and the friendly captain, whose name I -have gratefully remembered as Captain Burnham, put us on board the -ferry-boat to Waterloo, paid the passage money, and gave me a dollar -at parting. He was a Scotchman, and had done enough to win my enduring -gratitude, to prove himself a kind and generous man, and to give me a -pleasant association with his dialect, and his country. - -When I got on the Canada side, on the morning of the 28th of October, -1830, my first impulse was to throw myself on the ground, and giving -way to the riotous exultation of my feelings, to execute sundry -antics which excited the astonishment of those who were looking on. -A gentleman of the neighborhood, Colonel Warren, who happened to be -present, thought I was in a fit, and as he inquired what was the matter -with the poor fellow, I jumped up and told him _I was free_. “O,” said -he, with a hearty laugh, “is that it? I never knew freedom make a man -roll in the sand before.” It is not much to be wondered at, that my -certainty of being free was not quite a sober one at the first moment; -and I hugged and kissed my wife and children all round, with a vivacity -which made them laugh as well as myself. There was not much time to -be lost, though, in frolic, even at this extraordinary moment. I was -a stranger, in a strange land, and had to look about me at once, for -refuge and resource. I found a lodging for the night; and the next -morning set about exploring the interior for the means of support. I -knew nothing about the country, or the people; but kept my eyes and -ears open, and made such inquiries as opportunity afforded. I heard, -in the course of the day, of a Mr. Hibbard, who lived some six or -seven miles off, and who was a rich man, as riches were counted there, -with a large farm, and several small tenements on it, which he was -in the habit of letting to his laborers. To him I went, immediately, -though the character given him by his neighbors was not, by any means, -unexceptionably good. But I thought he was not probably any worse than -those I had been accustomed to serve, and that I could get along with -him, if honest and faithful work would satisfy him. In the afternoon I -found him, and soon struck a bargain with him for employment. I asked -him if there was any house where he would let me live. He said yes, -and led the way to an old two story sort of shanty, into the lower -story of which the pigs had broken, and had apparently made it their -resting-place for some time. Still, it was a house, and I forthwith -expelled the pigs, and set about cleaning it for the occupancy of a -better sort of tenants. With the aid of hoe and shovel, hot-water and -a mop, I got the floor into a tolerable condition by midnight, and -only then did I rest from my labor. The next day I brought the rest of -the Hensons to _my house_, and though there was nothing there but bare -walls and floors, we were all in a state of great delight, and my old -woman laughed and acknowledged that it was worth while, and that it was -better than a log-cabin with an earth-floor. I begged some straw of Mr. -Hibbard, and confining it by logs in the corners of the room, I made -beds of it three feet thick, upon which we reposed luxuriously after -our long fatigues. - -Another trial awaited me which I had not anticipated. In consequence of -the great exposures we had gone through, my wife and all the children -fell sick; and it was not without extreme peril that they escaped with -their lives. - -My employer soon found that my labor was of more value to him than -that of those he was accustomed to hire; and as I consequently gained -his favor, and his wife took quite a fancy to mine, we soon procured -some of the comforts of life, while the necessaries of food and fuel -were abundant. I remained with Mr. Hibbard three years, sometimes -working on shares, and sometimes for wages; and I managed in that time -to procure some pigs, a cow, and a horse. Thus my condition gradually -improved, and I felt that my toils and sacrifices for freedom had -not been in vain. Nor were my labors for the improvement of myself -and others, in more important things than food and clothing, without -effect. It so happened that one of my Maryland friends arrived in this -neighborhood, and hearing of my being here, inquired if I ever preached -now, and spread the reputation I had acquired elsewhere, for my gifts -in the pulpit. I had said nothing myself, and had not intended to say -any thing, of my having ever officiated in that way. I went to meeting -with others, when I had an opportunity, and enjoyed the quiet of the -Sabbath when there was no assembly. I would not refuse to labor in this -field, however, when desired to do so; and I hope it is no violation -of modesty to state the fact that I was frequently called upon, not -by blacks alone, but by all classes in my vicinity, the comparatively -educated, as well as the lamentably ignorant, to speak to them on their -duty, responsibility, and immortality, on their obligations to their -Maker, their Saviour, and themselves. - -It may, nay, I am aware it must, seem strange to many that a man so -ignorant as myself, unable to read, and having heard so little as -I had of religion, natural or revealed, should be able to preach -acceptably to persons who had enjoyed greater advantages than myself. -I can explain it, only by reference to our Saviour’s comparison of the -kingdom of heaven to a plant which may spring from a seed no bigger -than a mustard-seed, and may yet reach such a size, that the birds of -the air may take shelter therein. Religion is not so much knowledge, -as wisdom;--and observation upon what passes without, and reflection -upon what passes within a man’s heart, will give him a larger growth -in grace than is imagined by the devoted adherents of creeds, or the -confident followers of Christ, who call him Lord, Lord, but do not the -things which he says. - -Mr. Hibbard was good enough to give my eldest boy, Tom, two quarters’ -schooling, to which the schoolmaster added more of his own kindness, -so that my boy learned to read fluently and well. It was a great -advantage, not only to him, but to me; for I used to get him to read -much to me in the Bible, especially on Sunday mornings when I was -going to preach; and I could easily commit to memory a few verses, or -a chapter, from hearing him read it over. One beautiful summer-Sabbath -I rose early, and called him to come and read to me. “Where shall I -read, father?” “Anywhere, my son,” I answered, for I knew not how to -direct him. He opened upon Psalm ciii. “Bless the Lord, O my soul, -and all that is within me bless his holy name;” and as he read this -beautiful outpouring of gratitude which I now first heard, my heart -melted within me. I recalled, with all the rapidity of which thought is -capable, the whole current of my life; and as I remembered the dangers -and afflictions from which the Lord had delivered me, and compared my -present condition with what it had been, not only my heart but my eyes -overflowed, and I could neither check nor conceal the emotion which -overpowered me. The words “Bless the Lord, O my soul,” with which the -Psalm begins and ends, were all I needed, or could use, to express the -fulness of my thankful heart. When he had finished, Tom turned to me -and asked, “Father, who was David?” He had observed my excitement, and -added, “He writes pretty, don’t he?” and then repeated his question. -It was a question I was utterly unable to answer. I had never heard of -David, but could not bear to acknowledge my ignorance to my own child. -So I answered evasively, “He was a man of God, my son.” “I suppose so,” -said he; “but I want to know something more about him. Where did he -live? What did he do?” As he went on questioning me, I saw it was in -vain to attempt to escape, and so I told him frankly I did not know. -“Why, father,” said he, “can’t you read?” This was a worse question -than the other, and if I had any pride in me at the moment, it took -it all out of me pretty quick. It was a direct question, and must -have a direct answer; so I told him at once I could not. “Why not,” -said he. “Because I never had an opportunity to learn, nor anybody to -teach me.” “Well, you can learn now, father.” “No, my son, I am too -old, and have not time enough. I must work all day, or you would not -have enough to eat.” “Then you might do it at night.” “But still there -is nobody to teach me. I can’t afford to pay anybody for it, and of -course no one can do it for nothing.” “Why, father, _I’ll teach you_. -I can do it, I know. And then you’ll know so much more, that you can -talk better, and preach better.” The little fellow was so earnest, -there was no resisting him; but it is hard to describe the conflicting -feelings within me at such a proposition from such a quarter. I was -delighted with the conviction that my children would have advantages -I had never enjoyed; but it was no slight mortification to think of -being instructed by a child of twelve years old. Yet ambition, and a -true desire to learn, for the good it would do my own mind, conquered -the shame, and I agreed to try. But I did not reach this state of mind -instantly. I was greatly moved by the conversation I had had with -Tom--so much so that I could not undertake to preach that day. The -congregation were disappointed, and I passed the Sunday in solitary -reflection in the woods. I was too much engrossed with the multitude -of my thoughts within me to return home to dinner, and spent the -whole day in secret meditation and prayer, trying to compose myself, -and ascertain my true position. It was not difficult to see that my -predicament was one of profound ignorance, and that I ought to use -every opportunity of enlightening it. I began to take lessons of Tom, -therefore, immediately, and followed it up, every evening, by the light -of a pine knot, or some hickory bark, which was the only light I could -afford. Weeks passed, and my progress was so slow, that poor Tom was -almost discouraged, and used to drop asleep, sometimes, and whine a -little over my dulness, and talk to me very much as a schoolmaster -talks to a stupid boy, till I began to be afraid that my age, my want -of practice in looking at such little scratches, the daily fatigue, -and the dim light, would be effectual preventives of my ever acquiring -the art of reading. But Tom’s perseverance and mine conquered at last, -and in the course of the winter I did really learn to read a little. -It was, and has been ever since, a great comfort to me to have made -this acquisition; though it has made me comprehend better the terrible -abyss of ignorance in which I had been plunged all my previous life. It -made me also feel more deeply and bitterly the oppression under which -I had toiled and groaned; but the crushing and cruel nature of which -I had not appreciated, till I found out, in some slight degree, from -what I had been debarred. At the same time it made me more anxious than -before to do something for the rescue and the elevation of those who -were suffering the same evils I had endured, and who did not know how -degraded and ignorant they really were. - -After about three years had passed, I improved my condition again by -taking service with a gentleman by the name of Riseley, whose residence -was only a few miles distant, and who was a man of more elevation of -mind than Mr. Hibbard, and of superior abilities. At his place I began -to reflect, more and more, upon the circumstances of the blacks, who -were already somewhat numerous in this region. I was not the only one -who had escaped from the States, and had settled on the first spot in -Canada which they had reached. Several hundreds of colored persons were -in the neighborhood; and in the first joy of their deliverance, were -going on in a way which, I could see, led to little or no progress in -improvement. They were content to have the proceeds of their labor at -their own command, and had not the ambition for, or the perception of -what was within their easy reach, if they did but know it. They were -generally working for hire upon the lands of others, and had not yet -dreamed of becoming independent proprietors themselves. It soon became -my great object to awaken them to a sense of the advantages which -offered themselves to their grasp; and Mr. Riseley, seeing clearly -the justness of my views, and willing to coöperate with me in the -attempt to make them generally known among the blacks, permitted me -to call meetings, at his house, of those who were known to be among -the most intelligent and successful of our class. At these meetings we -considered and discussed the subject, till we were all of one mind; and -it was agreed, among the ten or twelve of us who assembled at them, -that we would invest our earnings in land, and undertake the task, -which, though no light one certainly, would yet soon reward us for our -effort, of settling upon wild lands which we could call our own; and -where every tree which we felled, and every bushel of corn we raised, -would be for ourselves; in other words, where we could secure all the -profits of our own labor. - -The advantages of this course need not be dwelt upon in a country which -is every day exemplifying it, and has done so for two hundred years -and more; and has, by this very means, acquired an indestructible -character for energy, enterprise, and self-reliance. It was precisely -the Yankee spirit which I wished to instil into my fellow-slaves, if -possible; and I was not deterred from the task by the perception of -the immense contrast in all the habits and character generated by long -ages of freedom and servitude, activity and sloth, independence and -subjection. My associates agreed with me, and we resolved to select -some spot among the many offered to our choice, where we would colonize -and raise our own crops, eat our own bread, and be, in short, our -own masters. I was deputed to explore the country, and find a place -to which I would be willing to migrate myself; and they all said -they would go with me whenever such a one should be found. I set out -accordingly in the autumn of 1834, and travelled on foot all over -the extensive region between lakes Ontario, Erie, and Huron. When I -came to the territory east of Lake St. Clair and Detroit River, I was -strongly impressed with its fertility, its convenience, and, indeed, -its superiority, for our purposes, to any other spot I had seen. I -determined this should be the place; and so reported, on my return, -to my future companions. They were wisely cautious, however, and -sent me off again in the summer, that I might see it at the opposite -seasons of the year, and be better able to judge of its advantages. I -found no reason to change my opinion, but upon going further towards -the head of Lake Erie, I discovered an extensive tract of government -land, which, for some years, had been granted to a Mr. McCormick upon -certain conditions, and which he had rented out to settlers upon such -terms as he could obtain. This land being already cleared, offered -some advantages for the immediate raising of crops, which were not to -be overlooked by persons whose resources were so limited as ours; and -we determined to go there first, for a time, and with the proceeds of -what we could earn there, to make our purchases in Dawn afterwards. -This plan was followed, and some dozen or more of us settled upon these -lands the following spring, and accumulated something by the crops of -wheat and tobacco we were able to raise. - -I discovered, before long, that McCormick had not complied with the -conditions of his grant, and was not, therefore, entitled to the -rent he exacted from settlers. I was advised by Sir John Cockburn, -to whom I applied on the subject, to appeal to the legislature for -relief. We did so; and though McCormick was able, by the aid of his -friends, to defeat us for one year, yet we succeeded the next, upon a -second appeal, and were freed from all rent, thereafter, so long as we -remained. Still, this was not our own land. The government, though it -demanded no rent, might set up the land for sale at any time, and then -we should, probably, be driven off by wealthier purchasers, with the -entire loss of all our improvements, and with no retreat provided. It -was manifest that it was altogether better for us to purchase before -competition was invited; and we kept this fully in mind during the time -we staid here. We remained in this position six or seven years; and all -this while the colored population was increasing rapidly around us, -and spreading very fast into the interior settlements and the large -towns. The immigration from the United States was incessant, and some, -I am not unwilling to admit, were brought hither with my knowledge -and connivance. I was glad to help such of my old friends as had the -spirit to make the attempt to free themselves; and I made more than one -trip, about this time, to Maryland and Kentucky, with the expectation, -in which I was not disappointed, that some might be enabled to follow -in my footsteps. I knew the route pretty well, and had much greater -facilities for travelling than when I came out of that Egypt for the -first time. - -I did not find that our prosperity increased with our numbers. The -mere delight the slave took in his freedom, rendered him, at first, -contented with a lot far inferior to that which he might have attained. -Then his ignorance led him to make unprofitable bargains, and he would -often hire wild land on short terms, and bind himself to clear a -certain number of acres; and by the time they were cleared and fitted -for cultivation his lease was out, and his landlord would come in, -and raise a splendid crop on the new land; and the tenant would, very -likely, start again on just such another bargain, and be no better -off at the end of ten years than he was at the beginning. Another way -in which they lost the profits of their labor, was by raising nothing -but tobacco, the high price of which was very tempting, and the -cultivation of which was a monopoly in their hands, as no white man -understood it, or could compete with them at all. The consequence was, -however, that they had nothing but tobacco to sell; there was rather -too much of it in the market, and the price of wheat rose, while their -commodity was depressed; and they lost all they should have saved, in -the profit they gave the trader for his corn and stores. I saw the -effect of these things so clearly that I could not help trying to make -my friends and neighbors see it too; and I set seriously about the -business of lecturing upon the subject of crops, wages, and profits, -as if I had been brought up to it. I insisted on the necessity of -their raising their own crops, saving their own wages, and securing -the profits of their own labor, with such plain arguments as occurred -to me, and were as clear to their comprehension as to mine. I did this -very openly; and, frequently, my audience consisted in part of the -very traders whose inordinate profits upon individuals I was trying to -diminish, but whose balance of profit would not be ultimately lessened, -because they would have so many more persons to trade with who would -be able to pay them a reasonable advance in cash, or its equivalent, -on all their purchases. The purse is a tender part of the system; -but I handled it so gently, that the sensible portion of my natural -opponents were not, I believe, offended; while those whom I wished to -benefit, saw, for the most part, the propriety of my advice, and took -it. At least, there are now great numbers of settlers, in this region -of Canada, who own their farms, and are training up their children in -true independence, and giving them a good elementary education, who had -not taken a single step towards such a result before I began to talk to -them. - -I said none of the respectable traders were offended with me; but one -man had the folly to arrest me for a small debt, under the pretence -that I was about to leave the country, when I was only going to Detroit -for a few days, in the spring, leaving my crops on the ground, and all -my family at home but one little girl, who was to go to school for -a few weeks. It was so absurd, however, that I was soon released by -some of my friends, of whom I had many among the whites as well as the -blacks. - -While I remained at Colchester, I became acquainted with a -Congregational missionary from Massachusetts, by the name of Hiram -Wilson, who took an interest in our people, and was disposed to do -what he could to promote the cause of improvement which I had so much -at heart. He coöperated with me in many efforts, and I have been -associated with him from 1836 to the present time. He has been a -faithful friend, and still continues his important labors of love in -our behalf. Among other things which he did for us then, he wrote to a -Quaker friend of his, an Englishman, by the name of James C. Fuller, -residing at Skeneateles, New York, and endeavored to interest him in -the welfare of our struggling population. - -He succeeded so far, that Mr. Fuller, who was going on a visit to -England, promised to do what he could among his friends there, to -induce them to aid us. He came back with fifteen hundred dollars which -had been subscribed for our benefit. It was a great question how this -sum, which sounded vast to many of my brethren, should be appropriated. -I had my own opinion pretty decidedly made up as to what it was best -for us all to do with it. But, in order to come to a satisfactory -conclusion, the first thing to be done was to call a convention of -delegates from every settlement of blacks that was within reach; that -all might see that whatever was decided on, was sanctioned by the -disinterested votes of those who were thought by their companions -best able to judge what was expedient. Mr. Wilson and myself called -such a convention, therefore, to meet in London, Upper Canada, and it -was held in June, 1838. I urged the appropriation of the money to the -establishment of a manual-labor school, where our children could be -taught those elements of knowledge which are usually the occupations -of a grammar-school; and where the boys could be taught, in addition, -the practice of some mechanic art, and the girls could be instructed -in those domestic arts which are the proper occupation and ornament -of their sex. Such an establishment would train up those who would -afterwards instruct others; and we should thus gradually become -independent of the white man for our intellectual progress, as we -might be also for our physical prosperity. It was the more necessary, -as in many districts, owing to the insurmountable prejudices of the -inhabitants, the children of the blacks were not allowed to share the -advantages of the common school. There was some opposition to this plan -in the convention; but in the course of the discussion, which continued -for three days, it appeared so obviously for the advantage of all to -husband this donation, so as to preserve it for a purpose of permanent -utility, that the proposal was, at last, unanimously adopted; and a -committee of three was appointed to select and purchase a site for the -establishment. Mr. Wilson and myself were the active members of this -committee, and after traversing the country for several months, we -could find no place more suitable than that upon which I had had my eye -for three or four years, for a permanent settlement, in the town of -Dawn. We therefore bought two hundred acres of fine, rich land, on the -river Sydenham, covered with a heavy growth of black walnut and white -wood, at four dollars the acre. I had made a bargain for two hundred -acres adjoining this lot, on my own account; and circumstances favored -me so that the man of whom I purchased was glad to let me have them -at a large discount from the price I had agreed to pay, if I would -give him cash for the balance I owed him. I transferred a portion of -the advantage of this bargain to the institution, by selling to it one -hundred acres more, at the low price at which I obtained them; and -thus the school has three hundred acres of as fine land, and as well -situated land, as Canada can show, at a very moderate cost. In 1842, -I removed with my family to Dawn, and as a considerable number of my -friends are there about me, and the school is permanently fixed there, -the future importance of this settlement seems to be decided. There are -many other settlements which are considerable; and, indeed, the colored -population is scattered over a territory, which does not fall far -short of three hundred miles in extent in each direction, and probably -numbers not less than twenty thousand persons in all. We look to the -school, and the possession of landed property by individuals, as two -great means of the elevation of our oppressed and degraded race to a -participation in the blessings, as they have hitherto been permitted to -share only the miseries and vices, of civilization. - -My efforts to aid them, in every way in my power, and to procure the -aid of others for them, have been constant. I have made many journeys -into New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Maine, in all of -which States I have found or made some friends to the cause, and, I -hope, some personal friends. I have received many liberal gifts, and -experienced much kindness of treatment; but I must be allowed to allude -particularly to the donations received from Boston, by which we have -been enabled to erect a saw-mill, and thus to begin in good earnest, -the clearing of our lands, and to secure a profitable return for the -support of our school, as among those which have been most welcome and -valuable to us. - -I could give here a great many particulars, which would amuse and -interest the reader, if they did not instruct him. But it is better not -to indulge the inclination; and I will conclude my narrative by simply -recording my gratitude, heartfelt and inexpressible, to God, and to -many of my fellow-men, for the vast improvement in my condition, both -physical and mental; for the great degree of comfort with which I am -surrounded; for the good I have been enabled to effect; for the light -which has risen upon me, for the religious privileges I enjoy, and the -religious hopes I am permitted to cherish; for the prospects opening to -my children, so different from what they might have been; and, finally, -for the cheering expectation of benefiting not only the present, but -many future generations of my race. - - - - - * * * * * - -Transcriber’s Note - -Original spelling, hyphenation, and punctuation have been retained. - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's The Life of Josiah Henson, by Josiah Henson - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LIFE OF JOSIAH HENSON *** - -***** This file should be named 53609-0.txt or 53609-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/3/6/0/53609/ - -Produced by Cindy Horton and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images generously made available by The -Internet Archive) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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