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diff --git a/old/54575-8.txt b/old/54575-8.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 61b5bd5..0000000 --- a/old/54575-8.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,4643 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Redcoat Captain, by Alfred Ollivant - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Redcoat Captain - A Story of That Country - -Author: Alfred Ollivant - -Illustrator: Graham Robertson - -Release Date: April 19, 2017 [EBook #54575] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK REDCOAT CAPTAIN *** - - - - -Produced by Al Haines - - - - - - - - -[Frontispiece: ON THE WAY TO THAT COUNTRY] - - - - -REDCOAT CAPTAIN - -A STORY OF - -THAT COUNTRY - - -BY - -ALFRED OLLIVANT - -AUTHOR OF "BOB, SON OF BATTLE," ETC. - - - -ILLUMINATED BY GRAHAM ROBERTSON - - - -New York THE MACMILLAN COMPANY LONDON: JOHN MURRAY 1907 - -_All rights reserved_ - - - - -COPYRIGHT, 1907, BY THE MACMILLAN COMPANY. - -Set up and electrotyped. Published September, 1907. - - - -Norwood Press J. S. Cushing & Co.--Berwick & Smith Co. Norwood, Mass., -U.S.A. - - - - -REDCOAT CAPTAIN - - - -[Illustration: Book I headpiece] - - - - -BOOK I.--TINY TAKES COSY COTTAGE - - -1 - -So, after waiting faithfully for days and days and days, they agreed -they could wait no longer. - -He was a Redcoat Captain in the Army of That Country: she was the -daughter of the merry lady who lived among rooks. - -His had jolly little curls all over, with blue eyes under: hers was -chestnut, with grey eyes like clouds in a lake. - -She was between ten and twenty: he was a little more. - -He was so tall that the Fellows called him Tiny: her name was Mabel, so -they called her Baby. - - - -2 - -So Tiny came to the Fort on the Hill where the sun used to set; and it -was noon. - -And the Fort was a round wall with a barrack-square inside. And -through a hole in the wall a great cannon of artillery peeped out over -the country to keep Them down: for They were always supposed to be -there, though nobody had ever seen Them. - -Then Tiny climbed in through the cannon-hole, and on to the -barrack-square, where nobody was now only the back-view of Goliath, the -elephant, whisking his tail in the stable, while the Boy, who saw to -him, slept among his feet. - -So Tiny walked across the square in the sun till he came to a door in -the dark of the wall. And on the door was painted in white letters - -O G R E - -which the Fellows said meant, - -Old General Roast End, - -but it really meant, - -Officers' Grub Royal Elephants, - -which was the name of the Regiment. - -And the Regiment was so named by order of the King because that pleased -old Goly, so that he trampled less at night, when the Fellows wanted to -sleep. - -Then Tiny knocked at the door and went in. - -And the room had crossed sugar-sticks on the wall, and a row of bottles -full of little black and white marbly balls on the mantel-piece, and -over them a great motto, - -_Every Bull's Eye has its billet._ - -And in one corner was a pile of painted india-rubber cannon-balls. And -there was a huge fire roaring, though it was summer. And before the -fire stood the General, with his hands behind him, sucking something -and warming himself. - -Then Tiny shut the door, and began, - -"I am Tiny; and I am going to marry Baby. How long will I stop in this -hole, because about taking a house to put Baby in?" - -So the General bent towards his boots; and his head shone; and his -boots shone; and he bulged over the fire; and he said, - -"I am Sir Goodall Grouse, and a Major-General. I had ought to be a -full General if I had me rights--only they cheat so." - -Then he bowed himself straight; and he was very red and tight; and he -shot his neck till the veins swelled, and he shouted, - -"And I don't care who knows it." - -So Tiny, who knew Generals, pretended sad, and shook his head, and -answered, - -"When we go out to war, Sir, we always say that if only Sir Goodall -came and did it, it wouldn't be a war at all, to call one, it would be -a walk-over." - -And when the General heard that, he sat down and said, - -"You are a very promisin young officer _indeed_!" And he made a bump -in his cheek with his tongue, and wrote upon the blotting-paper for ten -minutes most industriously, - -_Captain Tiny to be reccomended for promotion:_ - -Then he turned to Tiny and rubbed his hands and said, - -"And now what will you allow me for to do for you?" And the clerk was -so astonished that he poked in to see. - -So Tiny told for the second time. - -Then the General rolled the quid of toffee in his cheek very wisely, -and he wrinkled, and said, - -"Well. You will probly stop here for all time, and certainly for years -and years. And you may take that on the word of Sir Goodall Grouse, -who never told a lie, cause he couldn't think of one to tell." And he -blew out his chest so a button flew, and shouted, "And what's more, I -should ought to be a full General if I had me rights--and I don't care -who knows it!" And he thumped the blotting-paper till it shook. - -Then Tiny winked to himself and said inside, - -"Hang your rights, Old Roast End!" but outside he said, - -"Thank you, Sir. Now I feel a lot better." - -And he saluted and went out, meek as a mouse; but directly he got -outside he took to his legs and raced across the square, shouting and -singing because of Baby and the house where he would keep her for years -and years while he trained her how to be a soldier's wife. - - -And about next day Sir Goodall retired, because he said the Service -didn't leave him time enough to roast himself. - - -And that is about all about Sir Goodall for now. - - - -3 - -Then Tiny came upon his toes very merry to the place where the Fellows -fed between sleeps. - -And it was a great sort of shed under a thatch, with walls of whitewash -sploshed with blood to encourage them on. - -And when Tiny got there they were all feeding and complaining about A B -C and D, which you have to pass for promotion in That Army. - -For it appeared that the Commander-in-Chief at the Castle had just sent -over word by Cooey, the carrier-pigeon, to say that they must all learn -down to E now, or leave That Country. - -And _he_ said it was because that was what they did in Willie-Land; but -_they_ said it was because of spite. - -For it was well known that the Commander-in-Chief's great ambition was -a ride on Goliath. And the night before he had come and tried to climb -on by stealth while Goly slept. But old Goly woke up in the middle and -trod on his toe instead. - -So the Commander-in-Chief had limped back to the Castle with his hump -up. And because he had a curiously nasty nature, and bore malice a -lot, he now sent word by Cooey to say that they must choose between E -and exile. - -And it is usually considered the greatest misery that can happen to you -to be sent out of That Country. - -For That Country is the Land-where-you-never-grow-old--so long, that -is, as you are good and loving. - -Indeed, if you live truly, you grow younger all the time, although your -hair turns grey just the same as in Abroad. And when you are so young -and so happy that you can bear it no more, then you die. - -But directly you begin to go bad, you grow old. And then the right -place for you is Abroad, where all the common people live, and grow -horrider and horrider every day, and never die. - -So naturally everybody born in That Country wants to live there all the -time, except when they have to go away to Moonland for one month after -marriage: for that is one of the rules. - -But if you are not good and loving, then they turn you out, when they -find out about you, which they very often don't for a long time, -because they are so sweet and simple. And you are supposed to hate -nobody in That Country; but if you do, then you try to sort of cuckoo -him out by working under him with your wings. - -And that was what the Commander-in-Chief, sitting in the Castle-tower, -with his toe in a bandage, plotted in his own secret mind to do to the -Regiment, because of Goliath. - -For the Commander-in-Chief was a real villain, and already growing old. - - - -4 - -So all the Fellows were sitting round feeding, and abusing the -Commander-in-Chief. - -But the Junior Subaltern, who was rosy and plump, was saying nothing: -for he wasn't allowed an opinion. - -So he was eating most instead--as usual. - -Then Tiny sat down apart, and ate jam out of a spoon, and smiled. - -But the Junior Subaltern peeped from behind a pink fairy-book, which he -read with one hand, while he ate with the other, and when he saw Tiny's -smile, he said a bit bitterly, - -"I know. It's because it's strawberry. They keep _me_ on plum." - -But the one next him, who was long and yellow, held his cup with both -hands, and bubbled into it as he drank, and said, - -"No. It's because he thought old Roast End was going to tell him off a -treat. But Tiny tickled him, so he told off the other fellow who -hadn't done it. I wish I could tickle like Tiny. It all seems so damb -unfair," and he began to cry. - -But the one next him, who was big and brown, said nothing outside, but -inside he said, - -"No. It's because of Baby." And he knew, for he was to be best man, -and give Tiny away when the time came. - -Then a Captain without medals rose. And he was black but uncomely. -And he bowed up and down to the Mountain and said, - -"I am going to Where-George-is." - -But when the Junior Subaltern heard that, he peeped out again, and -cried, - -"Is that because of the Commander-in-Chief and E? You _are_ a lucky -dog. I would too if I could afford it." - -Then the black Captain looked at the Junior Subaltern; and there was a -great hush. And at last the black Captain shot his neck suddenly, and -spouted, - -"Might I be so good as to ask you not to speak till you're spoken to?" - -And all the Fellows said in a sort of chorus, - -"Might I be so good, etc.?" - -But the Junior Subaltern went back behind the fairy-book and ate a lot -more, and muttered. And when he had quite done both, he rose and went -to where the Boy was sliding down Goliath by the tail and told him off -a treat. - -[Illustration: THE BOY WAS SLIDING DOWN GOLIATH] - -But the Boy brought up at the bottom, bump, and said, - -"Why?" - -So the Junior Subaltern shot his neck as well as he could, which wasn't -very well, because he hadn't much experience yet, and he answered, - -"Because I've nobody to tell off only you, because I'm Junior. Damb!" - -So that showed the Junior Subaltern was learning soldier, which is to -shoot your neck and say damb in That Country. - - -But the black Captain stood where he was, very proud and plucky, -because he had done his duty, and it was a pleasure, too; and he said, - -"And now some more about George!" and he chucked his chest, although it -had no medals on it, and went on, - -"I am George's cousin; only George doesn't like me to talk about it. -So George is going to make a little war for me in Where-George-is, and -I am to go and get killed or a medal; and either way I will be worthier -to be George's cousin." - -And when they heard that they went on feeding and complaining as before. - -Then the black Captain, after a reproachful look, came towards Tiny. - -But Tiny rattled with his feet on the floor, and screamed. - -"Go way! go way! go way!--I don't want to talk about George or George's -cousin--much obliged all the same thank you no though. George can talk -about himself plenty without me, and so can his cousin. How d'you do? -Good-bye!" And he shoved back his chair. - -But the black Captain held him down very firmly by the legs, and said, - -"You never want to talk about anybody but yourself, seems to me." - -Then Tiny turned more Christian, and replied, - -"You see, I'm so much more interestiner than you are, old chap. Matter -of fact I don't want to talk about anybody; I just want to go to sleep, -and think about a friend of mine," which was Baby. - -Then the Captain shoved closer and whispered, because of the Fellows, - -"It is because of your friend that I began about going to -Where-George-is. For I have a friend of my own, to whom I am married. -And you know her well, because you used to come and talk secrets at tea -to her about your friend, when you didn't think she was going to be -your friend at all but the Commander-in-Chief's from the Castle. But -the King measured your legs to be half an inch the longest, so you won. -And I have reason to believe," said the black Captain very cautiously, -"that you used to cry together about it, you and my friend." - -Then Tiny said, - -"Oh go on, Pompey, go on!" but he blushed all over all the same. - -So the black Captain hid his face behind his fingers, and looked at -Tiny through them, for that is what you do when they blush, if you are -a gentleman, in That Country: for that is one of the rules. - -And when Tiny said after about a bit, - -"Better now, thank you," the black Captain took his hand away, and went -on, - -"And I live in Cosy Cottage with my friend. And it is on the edge of -the Common--you know!--where the gorse is, and the Pond, and the oldest -donkey in the world nodding off to sleep under a thorn. And just over -the way is the old yew with little Marwy's mother's grave close by. -And in front is the Fort on the Hill, all handy, so the Fellows can -wave to you when you sit in the garden in shirt-sleeves with Baby on -Sunday evenings in the summer. And round the corner is the Castle, -with the Commander-in-Chief at the window plotting mischief against -you, because of Baby, and against the Regiment, because of Goliath. -Only it don't matter to me one pin what he plots; in fact I rather like -it," said the black Captain, who was a selfish fellow, and really -rather like a common man from Abroad, "because I'm going away to -Where-George-is, my friend and me are. But we can't take Cosy Cottage, -so you shall have it." - -Then Tiny's eyes shone, and he said, - -"And may we _really_ have it for love?" - -Then the black Captain wetted his lips with the tip of his tongue, and -nodded, and whispered, - -"For love--and a leetle money, please." - -So Tiny gave him some out of his trouser-pocket. - -Then they shook hands so that all the Fellows thought it was a fight, -and ran up to help. - - -And after that the black Captain went away with his friend, arm in arm -over the Mountain to Where-George-is. - -[Illustration: COOEY! COOEY!] - -And there the band plays day and night, seven years without ceasing, - -_God save our gracious George._ - - -And George sits all day in his mail-cart under the palm, and bows his -head, and says, - -"A-a-men." - -Only the King isn't supposed to know about that, because it's his tune -really. - -And the black Captain became so very distinguished an officer that at -last he was allowed to pick the things off the floor when Georgie threw -them there in a pet, because the band sent in to ask if they might -change the tune. - - -And that is about all about the black Captain and George for now. - - - -5 - -But Tiny took a pencil, and wrote to Baby on scribbling paper, - -_Come quicks-you-can see cosy cottage I have bought a bargain to put -you in and don't bring mother unless you mustn't come without, because -of long walks so tirin for her._ - - -Then he ran down the Hill, and across the Bridge, and into the Wood, -and called, - -"Cooey! Cooey!" - -Then Cooey came from his fir, with splashing wings; and Tiny tied the -writing beneath his wing, and said, - -"Baby," and pointed. - -So Cooey flashed away through the wood: for Cooey takes all the quick -messages in That Country. - - -Then Tiny trotted back to the Fort, and took off his red coat, and put -on his sailor suit, and went for a ride on the Common on Goliath, with -the dear old Colonel, who thought nice of everybody, in the other -pannier. - - -But the Commander-in-Chief stood at the window in the Castle-tower, and -looked down darkly. - - - - -[Illustration: Book II headpiece] - - - - -BOOK II.--TINY MARRIES BABY - - -6 - -So Cooey sped with the writing to where Baby was. - -And Baby lived with her mother in the Hall under elms. - -And she was in the garden in gauntlets messing, when Cooey fluttered -down about her head. - -And when Baby heard him, she stood up, and held out her wrist, calling, - -"Something for me, Cooey?" And she pulled off her gauntlets, and took -the writing from under Cooey's wing, as he perched, and read it, while -Cooey sidled and fluttered, till he came to her shoulder. And there he -laid his bill against her cheek, and began to love her, very murmury. - -But Baby, when she had read the writing, skipped, and cried, - -"Three cheers!" and ran in to her mother, who sat with her back turned -in a room with great windows and a shiny floor, and wrote round, -chuckling. - -Then Baby poked in and cried, - -"Good-bye, mum. I am going to see Cosy Cottage that Tiny has taken to -keep me in. And we will be alone by ourselves together, Tiny and me, -till nightfall. Then p'r'aps I come home." - -But when Baby's mother, who was round and jolly, heard that, she went -thin all over, and she turned round from her writing, and cried, - -"Oh, Baby, _please_!" - -So they sat down and argued. - -And Baby, who always wanted to know, said, - -"Why?" - -Then Baby's mother answered with her foot down, - -"Because of mustn't be alone by yourselves together yet, you and Tiny!" - -But Baby, who _would_ argue, only said, very dogged, - -"Why?" - -So Baby's mother said twelve times, - -"Because of things." - -Then Baby turned in her toes, and inside she said, - -"Rot!" but outside she said nothing. - -And when Baby's mother, who was quite pale on account of it all, saw -that, she said, - -"In my young days," which was a very favourite saying of Baby's mother. - -But Baby only turned in her toes till her feet were almost straight -sideways, for she had heard _that_ before. - -So Baby's mother, when she saw that, said nothing, and just folded her -hands instead: for she knew what Baby's toes meant. - -But Baby, directly she saw her mother's hands, began to unturn her -toes, and she said, - -"Of course just as you like, Mother." - -For it is with girls like it is with horses: when you pull at them, -they pull at you, hut directly you let go, they come back to you. - -And that is pretty well the same with everybody. So long as you say -"Shan't," they say "Shall," but when you say nothing, and just sit and -look sad, then they come and kiss you. For we all know somehow though -we don't quite know how, that Will is one thing and Love is another; -and Will is strong, but Love is stronger; and you can often get your -way by Love when you can't by Will. - -Then when Baby's mother heard what Baby said, she began to go round -again, and sighed, - -"Oh, thank you, Baby." - -So Baby unturned her toes some more, and said, - -"Of course I shall like you to come with me, Mother--if it won't tire -you," which was quite a lie, but not one to count. - -So Baby's mother answered rather weepy, - -"Very sorry, Baby. I'm sure I don't want to be a spoil-sport. Only I -must consider things," and she got out her handkerchief. - -Then Baby turned her toes quite out, and she rose, and ran, and cried, - -"Darling old thing!" and hugged her up. - -So Baby's mother began to chuckle again; and she put on her bonnet and -Baby her boa; and they started down the lane together, arm in arm: for -everybody lives only a few miles off in That Country: so you never go -by train except to Moonland. - -And it is all country in That Country, only for the Town on the -Tumble-down Hill: for all the nice things happen in the country; and it -is mostly all nice in this story--except the Commander-in-Chief. - -7 - -And at the bottom of the lane there was Tiny riding backwards and -forwards on the swing-gate. - -But when he saw them he jumped down and ran and waved; and Baby waved -and ran. Only when they came where they met, they went shy suddenly, -and turned their backs instead. - -Then a jackdaw on the sign-post said, - -"Chuck! chuck! chuck!" - -And when Baby heard that, she turned her back still more, and blushed. -So Tiny who had seen out of his corner-eye, went behind his fingers, to -show he knew all about manners. - -Then Baby's mother plodded up with her skirts in her hands, and said, - -"Very sorry, Tiny. Only I must--because of things." - -But Tiny only went astonished and answered, - -"Oh, but we specially wanted you--didn't we, Baby?" which was quite a -lie. - -So Baby cheered up, and hopped, and cried, - -"Course we did." - -Then Baby's mother said, - -"Oh, you are dears about it." - -So they just loved her, because she was such a jolly good old mother. - -And after that they all took arms, and walked across the Common with -the oldest donkey in the world, nodding off to sleep under a thorn, -almost as old. - -And when Baby saw the donkey she ran, and patted him, and called to -Tiny, - -"Has he got a name?" - -So Tiny answered, - -"Yes; Methuselah." - -Then Baby skipped back, crying, - -"Is that _your_ name?" - -Then Tiny, after a bit of a struggle, for he did want to lie and get -the glory, told the truth rather grumpily, and said, - -"No--the Colonel's." - -For the Colonel is allowed to do all the christening in that Regiment: -for that is one of the rules. And Goliath, the elephant, was one of -his; and so was little Marwy, the regimental baa-lamb. - - -Then Tiny, and Baby, and Baby's mother came to the Village. - -And the Village was made up of Cosy Cottage, and the red pillar-box -opposite; and that is all: for the villages are just a nice size in -That Country. - -And Cosy Cottage looked delicious under creepers, with sparrows -chattering. And it was long, and low, and grey, and not unlike -Methuselah, with a rather broken-back look, and one crooked chimney for -ear. And there was one window behind and two before, with a porch -between, and roses sprawling over all. - -And in front was a little grass garden, with a lilac and a yew hedge -round, and a gate made of paling into the road; and at the back a tiny -yard and a boot-hole[1] like a box. - - -[1] A boot-hole is a little place where you clean boots. - - -And it belonged to the King, as all the houses do in That Country, -because that saves trouble; and it went with the Fort on the Hill. - -And when Baby saw that, she hopped, and whispered, - -"Oh, Mother!" because she loved it so. - -And baby's mother chuckled and said, - -"Yes, you _are_ a lucky child." - -But Tiny said nothing, and took all the glory instead, which was rather -a favourite thing of Tiny's, and quite a lie; for he'd done nothing for -it. - -All the same it was very curious that when Baby was with Tiny he told -the truth on the whole much more, and kept all his lies for the Fellows. - -And the more he was with her the more truth he told: so that it almost -looked as though, if he went on long enough, he would never tell a lie, -to call one, any more. And that is what they call Influence. - -And nobody knows quite what Influence is, but it's what women do. - -So you see it's rather jolly to be a woman, because if you're a man you -can't, though you think you can, because of conceit. - - -Then they led Baby's mother into the house. And after they had fed -her, they took her and put her on a little chair in a quiet cupboard by -herself, and locked her in; and she was to be good-and-go-to-sleep till -they came for her. - - -And that pleased Baby's mother so that she smiled. - - - -8 - -Then Baby yelled and ran upstairs; and Tiny yelled, and ran after her; -till they came to the topmost stair of all. And Baby put her head out -and cried, - -"I say! this is tip-top!" which was a very favourite saying of Baby's. - -And Tiny came up behind her and murmured, - -"This is tip-topper!" for lovers are lovers just the same in That -Country, only nicer. - -So Baby went with her arms, and squealed, - -"Tiny! Tinee!" - -Then she ran downstairs as hard as she could pelt; and Tiny ran after -her, as hard as he could pelt. - -And Baby's mother, who couldn't be good-and-go-to-sleep because of the -racket, woke up, and climbed out of the cupboard, and ran after Tiny as -hard as she could pelt. - -So they all ran after each other till they came to the bottom-most -stair of all. - -Then they all climbed on to chairs and sat around the front-window and -spied. - -And by the old yew there was the Colonel taking little Marwy to see her -mother's grave, which he did every evening, dear man. - -[Illustration: WHICH HE DID EVERY EVENING] - -And on the Hill there was the Junior Subaltern with a huge slice of -cake in his mouth scribbling E all over the blank of the Fort wall to -show he could do it; for the Junior Subaltern was like a lot more, he -wanted everybody to know he was cleverer than they were. Only when -they saw they kicked him instead, which was rather depressing for him -after all his trouble. - -And on the Common there was the Boy giving Goliath a real old -galumphing gallop round the Pond to take it out of him; only old Goly, -who was a bit of a rogue, took it out of the Boy instead; which was -rather a favourite thing of Goly's. - -Then they took their chairs and ran, and sat round the back-window, and -spied. - -And by craning out they could see the Castle round the corner. - -And there stood the Commander-in-Chief at the window, biting his -thumbs, and watching Goliath. - -And when he saw their heads, he shook his fist, and muttered. - -Then Baby's mother said, - -"Oh my dear!" and shuddered, and came in. - -And Baby cried, - -"Pig!" and laughed; still she came in too. - -But Tiny shouted, - -"Pooh! think I'm afraid of you!" and leaned his neck out all the -further, and cocked a snook back. - -But Baby pulled him in quick by the trousers, because of his career, -and hoped the Commander-in-Chief hadn't seen. - - -And after that Baby fussed off into the kitchen; and they fussed after -her, and sat on the dresser, and watched. - -And Baby opened a little black door where the chimney ended in a hole, -and looked in very cunning. - -And after about a bit she slammed the little black door, and made a -face with her nose, and said, - -"I don't think much of this thing," to show how sly she was. - -But Tiny sat on the dresser, with Baby's mother, and pointed his finger -at Baby, and said, - -"Don't believe you know one word about it, Baby." - -So Baby turned her nose up and her eyes down, and replied, - -"That's all _you_ know, Mr Tiny!" - -And she said to her mother, - -"I know a jolly lot, don't I, Mum?" - -And Baby's mother chuckled all over, and said pat, - -"Not _one_ word, Baby." - -Then Baby ran at her and cried, - -"Oh, Mother!" and hugged her; and Tiny hugged them both. - -And after that they all sat on the dresser, and held hands, and swung -legs, and sang, - -_Three Blind Mice_ - - - -9 - -So Tiny and Baby were married in the dear old Church on the Tumble-down -Hill in the Town, while the King in his crown rang the bell in the -belfry; which was always his little job. - -[Illustration: WHICH WAS ALWAYS HIS LITTLE JOB] - -And Tiny and Baby truly believed that it was the only wedding that had -ever been since the world began; only it wasn't though. - -And Tiny wore his blue suit; and Baby her clean white frock. - -And Tiny was rather excited and very shy; and Baby very excited and -rather shy. - -And everybody was there, only the Commander-in-Chief; and he sent Cooey -with a writing instead. - -And Baby's mother sat in the front pew on the left and cried; and -Tiny's mother in the front pew on the right and cried. But Tiny's -mother cried most, for she cried _all_ the time; but Baby's mother -smiled in between, and especially when Baby came up on the arm of the -Colonel, her great friend. - -And the Fellows lined the aisle with swords. - -And they didn't cry, because they had no tears: they looked silly -instead, but not sillier than the others, of whom there were lots, -besides ladies. - -And the Junior Subaltern looked silliest of all because he was so pink; -and all the time going pinker, because of the ladies. And he did want -to marry them all, because of his kind heart; but he knew he couldn't, -because you mayn't. - -And when he thought of that he went quite pale, so that they took him -out, and gave him a drop of lime-juice and water off a feather in the -porch, while the people crept out to see. - - -Then they all came out of Church. - -And outside the porch Cooey fluttered down from the tower with the -writing; which Tiny opened. - -And it was supposed to be written in blood, only red ink really: and it -ran, - -_I will pay u for your snuk. Cheek!_ - -_St. J._ - - -Then Tiny turned rather pale: for he knew the Commander-in-Chief never -forgot, and never forgave. - -But when Baby said, - -"What is it?" he answered, - -"Only nothing," which was rather a favourite saying of his, and quite a -lie; but not one to count. - - -Then they all walked back to the Hall under the elms; and there was a -squash. - -And everybody came, including the people, which they may in That -Country. - -And in one room were the presents hung on to a wedding-tree, with the -Boy over them to see you didn't take any, and Cooey strutting about the -floor at the Colonel's heels, very proud and puffed up; and in the next -Tiny and Baby stood in a row and shook hands with everybody, including -the Queen, good old soul, who wiped her hands on her apron first. - -And Baby smiled and said, - -"Thank you _so_ much," about ten thousand times. - -And Tiny grinned and said, - -"I'm sure we shall," about the same. - -Only when the Junior Subaltern's turn came, he could think of nothing -to say, so he looked foolish, instead. - -Then Baby gave him the nicest smile of all, and inside she said, - -"I will be a mother to this boy." - -But outside she said, - -"Thank you _so_ much." - -Then the Junior Subaltern's mouth opened out, and he answered, - -"What for?" - -So some of the Fellows came and took him away by the arms, though he -screamed and struggled a good lot--as usual. - - -And after that Tiny and Baby came out of doors. - -And the mothers stood on the steps in the sun, and waved, and cried, - -"Goobye! Gobblessu! Goobye!" - -And the people cheered, and shouted, - -"Pip! pip! pooray!" - -And the bells rang; and the trees blew; and Tiny walked away under the -elms, Baby on arm. - - - -10 - -But the Junior Subaltern burst open the corn-bin where they had put him -for a bit, and came back to the remains of the squash, his knickers -rather dusty and his hair rough. - -And because he thought it must be so very nice, he asked three girls -one after the other, and said, - -"Will you?" - -And they looked at him, and replied, - -"You're mad. No; I won't." - -So the Junior Subaltern leaned his chin on his collar, that had -thumb-marks all over it, and said, - -"Why?" - -Then the first, who was proper, answered, - -"Because I'm married already." - -And the second, who was sound, answered, "Because I'm your Aunt." - -And the third, who was neither, cocked her nose, and answered, - -"Because of beastly cheek." - -And when the Junior Subaltern heard that, he went very tired, and -walked home to his mother. - -And the Junior Subaltern's mother lived in a cottage under the sky, -with a wood at the bottom, where the thrushes sang. And all about you, -as you walked in the wood, was green moss and trunks of trees and -dappled sunshine; and all above you were leaves with the wind in them -like waves foaming; and beyond that, blue sky where a lark rippled. - -But the Junior Subaltern cared for none of that now, and just sat down -with his back to it all, and ate no dinner to call any for him, because -things were so hard. - -So his mother sent for the good old doctor, who came on his cob, and -leaned a trumpet against the Junior Subaltern's chest. - -Then the Junior Subaltern said faintly, - -"Are you there?" because he thought it was a telephone, like they have -in Abroad. - -But the doctor answered, - -"Say Ah!" - -So the Junior Subaltern said it, - -And the Doctor listened down the trumpet and said, - -"I hear a guilty conscience." - -Then the Junior Subaltern sent his mother out of the room quick to get -a second opinion. - -So his mother went to fetch the vet. - -Then the Junior Subaltern confessed in a whisper about the drop of -you-know off the feather in the porch, and said, - -"Only don't tell mother." - -Just then his mother tramped back in muddy boots and said she couldn't -find him. - -So the good old doctor washed his hands and said it didn't matter; and -he dried them before the fire, and went wise, and said, - -"Er--I think a little careful regulation of the diet will set things -straight. Er--I was just telling your son that I should only drink -milk and lots of water in it." - -Then the Junior Subaltern's mother took fire, and snapped, - -"That's all he does drink." - -But the Junior Subaltern climbed under the clothes. - -And when his mother saw that, she wept, and said, - -"Why?" - -So the Junior Subaltern answered from under the clothes, - -"Because I must try to get a little sleep now." - - -But the Commander-in-Chief sat with his hump in the Castle tower, and -planned more E-vil. - - - - -[Illustration: Book III headpiece] - - - - -BOOK III.--TINY AND BABY IN MOONLAND - - -11 - -Tiny came to the Station, Baby on arm. - -And there the train was waiting with a white rosette on the puff part. - -And they got in, and Tiny leaned out, and shook hands confidentially -with the nice old guard, who locked the door in return, though there -was nobody else to go, only a milk-can. - -For it is a private train that goes once a day loaded with honeymoon -couples only, by order of the King, who is very good and kind, although -he has to be so strict. - -Then Tiny said to the driver, - -"Moonland, please!" and came in, and shut all the windows without -asking Baby's leave, and turned up his collar, and sat down in the -cosiest corner, and after a good big yawn went to sleep: for that is -what you do if you are a man even in That Country. - -But Baby played with the window-strap in the corner furthest away, and -smiled. - - -And after that the train went till it could go no further, because of -no more land to go on. - -Then Tiny woke up in a great fuss: for Tiny was always either asleep or -in a terrible state; and he poked out and cried, - -"Good! here we are. Come along, I say! Come along. _Do_ come along, -Ma-bel." And he climbed down with the bag full of luggage, and Baby -after him with her cage of canary. - -And they stood together on the platform, and looked about them. - -And it was about morning by now, and the sky was a sort of grey blank, -and the platform quite bare only for a great label across it that said -in huge letters, - - MOONLAND - - -And Moonland is a great space with nothing in it only a green hill, a -brown moor, and in the middle a blue lake supposed to have a fish in it. - -And on the edge of the lake is a stodgy house made of mud and dirt, -whitewashed over, where they let lodgings; only nobody takes them. - -And when Baby saw that, she stood on one leg, and whistled, - -"I say! _do_ look," because she loved it so. - -But Tiny, who only really cared about his food, answered, - -"Yes, yes, my dear, I know, I know," and fussed off with the bag, and -climbed on to the box of the cab, because, he said, he was such friends -with the cabman, and began to whip up the horse, and tug at the reins, -shouting, - -"Gee-woa! Gee-woa!" for it was one of Tiny's things that he thought he -was very good at a horse. - -But the cabman, who was rusty and crusty in an old top-hat, said, - -"Leggo, will ye?" and went into Tiny's wind with his elbow to quiet him. - -So they drove across the moor, over the hill, down to the lake, till -they came to the house. - -And in the window hung a cardboard saying, - -_Lessons, Singing, and Boxing taught here:_ for it is a school as well -as a lodging; only no pupils come. - -And in the porch the landlady was sitting in curls, playing with her -thumbs rather dumpily. - -But when Tiny bustled down with the bag, yelling, - -"Lodgin' fer two, quick, please!" she cheered up, and ran round, and -cooked a little cake, and gave it them; only they couldn't eat it, -because of too tough. - -So they turned their backs, and had sandwiches out of the bag instead; -which was rather depressing for the landlady after all her trouble. - - - -12 - -And after that Tiny and Baby were alone by themselves together, because -they might be now; which is called honeymoon. - -[Illustration: ALONE BY THEMSELVES TOGETHER] - -And it was Autumn, and jolly. - -And Baby always said she liked Autumn best, because she did: for Baby -always had good reasons for everything. - -And the woods were golden, and the moors brown, and the sea grey on the -edge of everywhere. - -And every morning they went out arm in arm. And when they got outside, -Baby let go of Tiny, and bustled along at a great pace with her arms -swinging, crying, - -"I go one hundred miles to-day. How far d'you?" - -Then Tiny caught her up, and passed her, and panted, - -"Twice the same." - -So Baby said, - -"Then go. I sit and watch you," and she sat down plump in a puddle by -the edge of the lake. - -So Tiny came back, and sat beside her, and said in her ear, - -"Why d'you lie so, Baby?" - -But Baby only hugged her knees, and giggled, - -"Because I don't." - -And after that it poured; and they sat all day in a puddle in the rain, -by the edge of the lake, and simplee loved it. - -And when Baby felt the rain on her face, she cried, - -"Isn't rain jolly?--I like it better than anything only fine." - -But Tiny only aimed both eyes so they met at the end of his nose, where -a raindrop was, and he shot his tongue, and curled it up tight, and -took the drop off on the tip. - -And when Baby saw that, she threw back, and roared, and said, - -"Oh, Tiny! you are a little raskil! pomme-word you are!" - -But Tiny only waggled his shoulders, and bubbled his eyes, and did it -again to a new drop. - -And that is all they said and did, because that is all you've got to -say and do. - -Only when a pi-looking person squelched by in goloshers, they wound -round, and lifted up their faces, and screamed together, - - "Two ittle tots - On the spwee-wee-wee, - Out of the - Nurser-wee-wee, - Two and anover - Make thwee-wee-wee, - So come you and join you - With we, we, we." - - -But the pi person only stopped, and looked through her spectacles, and -said pretty severely, - -"I thank you--no!" - -And she tramped on under her umbrella, with her skirts hitched high. - - - -13 - -Then one day it stopped raining. So they set out one behind the other -very secretly to explore the moor. - -And they found great pools, and tiny fairy water-falls, and -water-slides shooting over green rocks. And Baby wanted to take her -clothes off and go in, but Tiny said he'd tell if she did. - -So in the end Baby went in with her clothes on, and loved it; and Baby -called that an accident, which was quite a lie. - -And after that they found the two loveliest mountain-ferns there are, -called the beech and the oak fern; at least Baby found the ferns, while -Tiny steamed on in front in a perspiration, calling, - -"Come on! come on! Else we shall never get there." - -For Tiny always wanted to get somewhere, he didn't know quite where, -only that it was just on in front. But when he got as far as in front, -he always found it was a little further, and so on etc. - -Then they climbed the hill. - -And when they got to the top there was a great wind there, and the sky -blown clear, with the sea flashing far away beneath, and white seagulls -floating and screaming between them and it. - -And Baby was rosy with wind, and her hair splendid in the sun, and -little tresses wild about her face, and she bowed and gleamed and -yelled, - -"I say, Tiny! Isn't it simplee tip-up-top?" - -But Tiny only bent, and held her up against the wind into the sun, and -looked, and looked. - - -Then they came down the hill, and home across the moor by the edge of -the lake. - -And it began to be night. And the wind went down, and the moon rose -up. And the moor was black as ink, and the moon white as silver, and -the sky shining like a diamond. - -And a large great ghost-owl swooped about them on wavy wings, as they -tipped along on their toes. - -And Baby held Tiny's little finger and whispered, - -"Oh, Tiny." - -And Tiny held Baby's, and whispered, - -"Oh, Baby." - - -So they crept into the house; and up the stairs in the dark; and to bed -by a star; and a little hushaby wind rocked them to sleep. - - - -14 - -But Baby and Tiny weren't really so idle as they made out; because all -the time Baby taught Tiny. - -And she taught Tiny jolly well, although only between ten and twenty. - -And _really_ Baby was years and years older than Tiny, though _truly_ -she was years and years younger. - -And Baby began Tiny from the very beginning and taught him up, because -that is best. - -And she taught him most of the time _without words_. - -And Tiny was pretty clever when he tried, which he honestly did. And -it was wonderful how quick he picked it up. - -And really Tiny had learnt it all before from his mother in the -nursery, only he thought he'd forgotten it. But when Baby began to -teach him, it all came back quick. So that made it easy for Baby to -teach, and for Tiny to learn. - -Then Baby, when she found how well grounded Tiny had been, sat in a -white frock, with chestnut hair, and wrote to Tiny's mother a -thank-you-for-my-nice-husband letter, which you do in That Country -after the first month, if you find him satisfactory. - -And Tiny's mother was so pleased when she got the letter that she cried. - - -And Tiny's mother lived by the willow near the bridge. And when the -wind blew the willow turned white. And Tiny's mother when she lay in -bed could just see the top branches black in the moon as they stirred -to and fro. And whenever she woke she could hear the wind in the -willow tree, like the rustle of angels; and at the back of the rustle -was the groaning of ghosts under the bridge. - -But the rustle of angels went on always and always; and the groaning of -ghosts only at times. - -And that is like things as they really are: for Love goes on for ever, -but Pain only at times--just enough to remind you. - - -So Baby taught Tiny. And at last she got him so far that he even -learnt to stand on the rug, with his hands behind him, and say, - -"Sorry," when he should, which was mostly always. - -So that showed a good come on: for Tiny was like a lot more, he never -said Sorry when he could say anything else. - -But Baby was in the wrong herself sometimes. - -And when she was in the wrong, Tiny was in the right. And that pleased -Tiny; but it made Baby mad. For Baby wanted to be right all the time -always herself, and nobody else; only she couldn't, because you can't: -for that's how things aren't. - -So she went under a cloud instead; and there was no more sun for Tiny -for that time. - -Then Tiny nursed Baby to win the sun back. And when he had nursed her -till he was about dead, she forgave him for being in the right, and -took him back; and the sun came out again. - -And after that Baby sat upon him very pleasantly, while they sang the -Sorry Song they had made, which goes, - - "When you've been naughty, when you've done wrong, - When you've been sulky instead of a song, - When you've been stubbin, and think you've been strong, - Then be a good girl and say Sorry-- - - _I'll be a good girl and say Sorry._ - - "When you have said something sounds like a swear, - When you have been in a jolly old tear, - When you've behaved like a beast of a bear, - Then be a good boy and say Sorry-- - - _I'll be a good boy and say Sorry._ - - "When we are sad and yet remain dry, - When we feel sort of we wish we could die, - Perhaps we'd be better, perhaps we could cry, - If we'd only be good and say Sorry-- - - _We'll be good boy-and-girl and say Sorry."_ - - -Then Tiny hugged Baby; and Baby squealed; and the landlady ran like a -lightning pudding, and looked in. - -And when she saw, that pleased the landlady, so that she smiled. - - - -15 - -So some time went by. - -Then one evening after tea, as Tiny lay flat in a fat chair with his -legs out, and slept aloud, which he always did till bedtime, when he -woke up very spry and wanted to lecture on his favourite subject, Baby -came in with a secret smile and the great picture alphabet-book she had -given him for wedding-present under her arm. - -But directly Tiny saw the book, he held tight to the chair with his -arms, and kicked towards Baby with both feet, and screamed, - -"I won't! I won't! I won't!" - -But Baby put the book on the table, and a little straight-up thin chair -by it, and called very bright and firm, - -"Now, Tiny." - -Then Tiny pretended asleep louder than ever, and said, - -"Wharisit? wharamarrer?" - -So Baby said, - -"To work up E for promotion." - -Then Tiny whimpered through his nose, - -"Tiny don't want. Tiny tired," which was quite a lie. - -But Baby only smiled and said, - -"Tiny must. Else I won't be married to Tiny." - -So Tiny climbed out of the fat chair, and lowered himself on the thin -one, saying rather tearfully, - -"I don't care. I don't think it's fair. I take you on my honey-moon -with me, and all you do in return is to make me sit up and swank." And -he slammed the book about a bit. - -But Baby paid no heed, because it's best not, when they're like that: -for when they see you take no notice, they soon get over it. - -So she just climbed into her chair instead and ate her bread and milk, -and watched Tiny over it, working away at E straight up at the table. - -And after about a bit Baby leaned over and took the book away, and said, - -"And now try." - -[Illustration: AND TOOK THE BOOK AWAY] - -So Tiny came out of his hands, and shut his eyes, and opened his mouth, -and said very slow, - - "E was an Elephant ever so Big - Danced on a Beer-barrel jig-a-jig-jig." - - -Then Baby hammered the table with her spoon, and cried, - -"All correct. Well done, Tiny-boy. Very well said indeed, indeed." - -But Tiny asked with his eye-brows, and prayed with his hands, - -"Enough for one night, Baby?" - -So Baby went back to her bread-and-milk, and said, - -"Very well, then. Some more to-morrow, though, because of the -Commander-in-Chief." - -But Tiny answered, - -"Good time now; bad time never," which was rather a favourite saying of -his. - -And he got up from the thin chair, and fainted away in the fat one, -murmuring, - - "Tiny, sleep a lirel longer, - Till the lirel limbs are stronger, - Sleep, my lirel one, sleep, my prery one, - Sleep." - - - -16 - -And about the middle of that very night, Cooey flew in at the window, -with a writing under his wing; for the windows have to be open all the -time in That Country: for that is one of the rules; and you have to -keep the rules everywhere always just the same--else you suffer; which -is Law. - -Then Tiny sat up in bed, and read the writing by the moon; while Cooey -perched on Baby's shoulder, as she slept, and crooned to her. - -And the writing ran in a great blob hand like a baby's, - - -_Come back at once. Cowud. Leaving it all to me to do. And I never -would have believed it of u. This is one for your snuk. There is -Goliuf to pay for yet._ - -_The Hon. St Jack-Assquire._ - -_P.S.--I am getting ready a nice supprize for u and the Redgment._ - - -Then Tiny shut his eyes, and folded his hands very piously, and said a -lot of things low to himself. - -And after that he scribbled on the back of the writing, - -"Charmed, I'm shaw," and gave it Cooey, who splashed out of the window -with it. - -And when the splashing of Cooey's wings had died away, Tiny got up, and -bent over Baby as she slept and whispered in her ear, - -"Good-bye, Baby. Now I go home." - -Then Baby woke up quick, and stood up on her elbows in bed, and said, - -"Why?" - -So Tiny answered, - -"Because I have had enough for now, thank-you," for he didn't want to -frighten Baby; and he sat on the edge of the bed, and got into his sock. - -And when that was done, he took up the bag full of luggage, and the -canary by the cage, for Baby had taught him how to carry both now, and -trotted downstairs with them. - -But Baby crept up to the landlady's door on tip-toe, so as not to -disturb her--for they had grown to love the landlady, because she was -so good and fat--and shoved a note of paper under the crack. - -And on it outside was, - - With love - from - Baby and Tiny. - - -And in it inside was a sixpenny, which was a penny more than they owed -her, so that she could retire on it if she liked. - -Which she did. - - - -17 - -Then Tiny and Baby went out of doors into the dusk. - -And one moist star was stuck over the top of the hill, which looked -like a black tent against a grey sheet: for the sun was going to get up -soon. - -And on the top of the hill under the star was a little madman waving -both arms, which he always did, when he thought he saw the sun, to tell -the people time to get up. - -Only sometimes he made a mistake, and it was the moon instead. - -Then the people all went back to bed, and were cross, and gave it the -little madman when he came down from the hill at midday for his bun. - - -So Tiny and Baby walked away over the moor in the white of the dawn, -arm in arm, back to That Country. - - - - -[Illustration: Book IV headpiece] - - - - -BOOK IV.--TINY AND BABY GO HOME - - -18 - -So Tiny and Baby came back to That Country, and staid with the mothers, -one hour with each mother: for that is one of the rules. - -And when they were gone, each mother sat down all day in the table in -the window in the sun, and wrote round: four sheets to everybody, four -hundred sheets in all. - -And Baby's mother chuckled, because she was so happy; and _she_ thumped -her envelope with her fist: but Tiny's mother cried, because she loved -that best; and she smoothed hers with the flat of her hand. - - - -19 - -Then Tiny went down the Tumbledown Hill to the Town, Baby on arm. - -And the Town is an old ancient street with the Church on one side, and -the Inn on the other, and the Policeman between; and that is all: for -it is only a country town, although the capital of That Country. - -And at the back of the Inn is the market with pens inside a wall. - -And there the people come every Thursday to sell their things. - -And when Tiny and Baby got there it was market-day. - -So all the people were trying to sell their things to each other. - -Only everybody wanted to sell, and nobody to buy; which is often the -way. - -So that made it rather difficult all round. - -But when Tiny and Baby came in they stopped arguing, and began to stare -instead. - - - -20 - -And the Queen was there trying to sell a white moo-calf, because she -said she wanted the money to buy her a bonnet. - -[Illustration: THE QUEEN WAS THERE] - -So everybody came round and pinched the Queen's calf, though nobody -bought it. - -And when Tiny saw that he went and pinched it too very shrewdly, saying, - -"Ha!" and "Hum!" with his hat a bit on one side: for Tiny didn't want -to buy the Queen's calf himself, but he liked the Queen to think he did. - -And the vet was there running up and down on a string a little rough, -round pony that pattered, trying to sell it, because he said he'd -outgrown it. - -And when Baby saw how rough and round the pony was, and how it -pattered, she clapped her hands and cried, - -"Oh, the duck!" and asked the vet if she might run it up and down on -the string a bit. - -And when the vet, who was rather hot and panty, said, - -"Suttinly, Miss," she ran it up and down till she could run no longer; -and after that she went into a corner out of the crowd with the vet, -and gasped, - -"How much?" - -So the vet whispered, - -"I'll leave it to you, Miss, because it's to a good ome." - -Then Baby turned her back, and gave him some out of her sixpenny purse. - -And she christened the pony Puck, and led him away by the string. - -And a little further on the Junior Subaltern's mother was trollying a -little go-cart about with the King in his crown in it, to try to sell -it, because she said her son didn't care for it any more. - -And the King, now he'd had his ride, said, nor did he, and got down, -and, after taking off his crown very courteously, bustled off to join -in pinching the Queen's calf; which was rather depressing for the -Junior Subaltern's mother after all her trouble. - -But Baby came up with Puck, and kissed her to comfort her; and after -that she bought the little go-cart out of her penny purse, which -comforted the old lady still more. - -Then Baby harnessed Puck to the go-cart, and tied him by his string to -the wall, while she ran and got Tiny away from the Queen's calf. - -And they went round the pens together, and chose out some things, and -some servants. - -And there were about four things, and three servants. - -And one servant said her name was Phyllis; and she was plump and brisk: -but the Others didn't seem to know what their names were; and they were -dressy and draggly. - -And really the Others didn't belong to That Country, but had got in by -mistake from Abroad, one Bank Holiday. - -And Baby only took them because they wanted a home: for you mayn't -sleep out in That Country except in the summer, when you mayn't sleep -in. - -And people only have one servant in That Country, except at the Castle, -where they have none: for there the Queen does it all. - -Then they shoved the things under the seat of the little cart; and Tiny -and Baby got up; and Baby cracked the whip; and Tiny tugged the reins; -and Puck started off for Cosy Cottage at a run-away patter; while -Phyllis walked and the Others trailed behind. - - -And when they got to the Common everything was exactly as they had left -it, with Methuselah just nodding off to sleep under the thorn; and by -the yew the Colonel standing with his shako off, and little Marwy on a -string, visiting her mother's grave. - -For it was about evening by now. - -And they could see the Fort on the Hill in the sunset, and some of the -Fellows playing pranky on the wall: while the Junior Subaltern was -hiding behind a buttress, gulping the sponge-cake they swab out the -great cannon with. - -And the rooks were cawing home in the dusk; and the starlings whirred -and chirred among the gorse; and old Goly rolled down the Hill from the -Fort with the letters, the Boy holding on to his tail, because he said -he would do brake. - - -And as they came to Cosy Cottage, the stars came out and shone, and the -sparrows chattered as they went to bed in the creepers. - -And when Baby saw that she trembled and whispered, - -"I say, Tiny!" because she loved it so. - - -But round the corner the Commander-in-Chief waited at the Castle-window. - -And when he saw them drive up he smiled. - - - -21 - -Then as they got down, all of a sudden a merry little voice from the -boot-hole began to sing, - - "I'm Master Mischeevous, - My conduct's so grievous, - They've bottled me tight - In a hole--O! - But I laugh--ha! ha! ha! - And I sing--tra-la-la! - For they never can bottle - My soul--O!" - - -Then Baby clutched Tiny's arm, and whispered, - -"Who?" - -But Tiny only put his finger to his lips, and led round to the back on -his toes. And there he unlocked the door of the boot-hole, and -whispered, - -"Look." - -So Baby peeped round Tiny's shoulder. - -And there was a dear little brown mannikin, only so high, with a winky -way with him, who scuttled about on bandy legs, and nibbled a nut. - -Then Baby whispered, - -"Why?" - -So Tiny answered, - -"By order of the King." - -And he told Baby how the mannikin really belonged to the King, who had -taken him away from home, to try to make a better mannikin of him, for -really he was so very naughty; and the King has to be very strict, -although he is so good and kind. - -And the King lent him Tiny (by the secret advice of the -Commander-in-Chief) to spit on his boots for him. And in return Tiny -was to keep him good and tight in the boot-hole, only when he let him -out for a little run in the back-yard at dark; which he did now. - -And after he had done him up again, he went and hung the key on the -nail in the kitchen, where it lived. - - -Then Baby and Phyllis went down on their knees in the parlour and undid -the things. - -And after they had undone them, they arranged them round the wall in a -row, while Tiny sat in an easy chair, and made remarks, which was the -best he could do. - -So after about a bit Baby said, - -"Now _you_ do some," and she plumped down. - -Then Tiny stood on a chair in the parlour, and put his thumb against -the wall, and hammered it; while Phyllis stood below with the picture; -and Baby said from the easy chair, - -"That's capital." - -Only it didn't take Tiny quite that way: for he got off the chair and -walked about the room with his knees up, and corked his mouth with his -thumb, and so on etc. - -Only when he saw Baby took no notice, he soon got over it; which is -often the way. - - -And after that Tiny and Baby ran up and downstairs at the double. - -And when they got to the top and bottom, they turned and ran down and -up again. - -And they got in Phyllis's way rather as she tidied up; but she didn't -mind, only so long as they enjoyed themselves. - -Then they stood at opposite ends of the Cottage, and gave the Others -contradictory orders in loud voices. - -But the Others didn't hear: for they had paddled out into the back-yard -to find out what it was in the boot-hole screaming and scampering so. - -And of course it was mannikin, who, when he heard them, came to the -crack, and whispered them to undo him, and he would tell them something -secret. - -So they got the key from the nail, and undid him. - -Then mannikin came out into the kitchen, where he wasn't really -allowed, and sat on the edge of the table, sucking his thumb. - -So the Others held each other, gasping, - -"My!" and asked him what the secret was. - -But mannikin only swung his legs and said he'd forgotten. - -Then he heard Phyllis coming and scurried back to his hole in a -terrible fright, and locked himself in, and shoved the key under the -door. - -And one of the Others came later and picked it up, to hang on the nail; -only she forgot--and a good job too. - - - -22 - -Then after tea Tiny stole out, and round the corner, and into the -Castle by the back-door, to spy out the Commander-in-Chief, and the -surprise he was getting ready for the Regiment. - -And he crept along the passage and shoved the green-baize door, and -peeped into the hall. - -And there by the fire sat the King with his crown cocked over his eyes -sound-asleep in the rocking-chair after the market; while the Queen -churned in the dairy. - -And in the darkest corner, under a shaded candle, sat the -Commander-in-Chief with his hump up and his head down and wrote a -letter very secretly. - -And as Tiny looked, he sealed it with a black seal, and said with a -snigger, - -"Because of Goliath." - -Then he rang for the Queen, and gave it her, saying, - -"Important--Private--Secret. For Cooey in the morning." - -[Illustration: THEN HE RANG FOR THE QUEEN] - - -But Tiny crept home in the dark, with a little rainy wind in his face, -and wondered. - - - - -[Illustration: Book V headpiece] - - - - -BOOK V.--TINY AND BABY QUARREL - - -23 - -Next morning Baby woke up very happy, because she was at home. - -And she lay and listened to the day getting up, which was rather a -favourite thing of Baby's. - -And first the Policeman tramped by in boots. - -Then a cock at the farm crew a lot to say it was dawn, when it wasn't. - -And after that just as the dark began to grow dim, a thrush in the -lilac under the window cleared its throat, and began to shout, - -"I'm first! I'm first! I'm first!" - -And that woke a robin in the yew-hedge which piped, - -"Cheek! Cheek! Cheek!" and began to laugh in its little way. - -Then a rook sailed out to work, groaning, - -"Aw! aw! aw!" which is rook for "Oh! oh! oh!" which is short for "Oh -dear! oh dear! oh dear!" for the rook hates work and loves grumbling. - -And after that the sparrows began. And as soon as the sparrows began, -the others left off: for they knew it was no good to go on against the -sparrows; for the sparrows go on for ever. - -Then Baby got up, and went to the window. - -And the sun was just up and staring white through the black of the -trees: for it was about Christmas by now. - -And the sky shone like a sword. And great white ice-bergs with shining -tops sailed by behind the Mountain on the border of That Country. And -old Methuselah, his ears hoary with frost, was trying for some more -sleep under the thorn. - -And on the eave above the window a starling, all purple and green and -gold in the sun, was dressing. And as he dressed he was making all the -noises no other bird can make. For the starling is like a lot more, he -never knows quite what he's going to say himself till he's said it, -only he knows it's never been said before, and never will be again. - -Then the sun rose over the wall of the back-yard, and struck the top of -the boot-hole. And at once mannikin inside began to sing very merrily, - - "I hop in the boot-hole, - As happy can be, - As bold as a robin, - As brisk as the sea, - I chirp like a cricket, - I buzz as a bee - A-swing in the fox-glove, - A-blow on the lea." - - -And when Baby heard that she ran and shook Tiny, who was lying in bed -with one eye out, and the blanket tight round, and she cried. - -"Get up, Lazy-bones! get up! get up!--Everybody's up and busy and merry -long ago only you." - -And she began to dance about with her hair down, singing, - -"O, I say!--Shan't we just be happy here? happy here? happy here?" - -But Tiny only groaned, and got up, one leg at a time. - -And the first thing he did was to go to the window, and spy out at the -Castle round the corner, with the frost on the roof. - -And the first thing he saw was the Commander-in-Chief stealing out of -the back-door in his bedroom slippers. - -[Illustration: STEALING OUT IN HIS SLIPPERS] - - - -24 - -And when Tiny saw that, he shivered, and came in, and didn't have much -bath, for Baby had gone down; but took off his clothes, and put on his -redcoat instead. - -And soon he forgot all about the Commander-in-Chief, and stood before -the glass a long long time, and simplee loved it. - -Then he dragged himself away, and went downstairs, and did the lamp and -the knife, which was always his little job. - -And when he had finished that, he walked to the parlour, rather proud -because of Captain in that Army, rather cold because of sore thumb and -no real sympathy, and rather shy because of his redcoat, and Baby -inside waiting to tease. - -So he came to the door. - -And when Baby saw Tiny in his redcoat, very tall, and jolly little -curls all over, she thought, - -"How _most_ beautiful!" Only she didn't say for fear of bad for Tiny, -because she knew about the glass, for she had peeped. - -Instead she played with his medals, and tapped him under the chin, and -said, - -"How _most_ booful!" which was much better for Tiny. - -Then Tiny went sulky-shy and pulled away. - -And when Baby saw that she left it, and went back to the window to -watch a little figure creeping across the Common towards the Cottage. - -But directly her back was turned, Tiny bent and looked at himself some -more in the shiny tea-thing; and that pleased Tiny, so that he smiled. -And the more he looked the more he was pleased. And the more he was -pleased the more he smiled. And the more he smiled the more he thought -how _very_ jolly, and _what_ teeth! - -Then Baby turned. And when she saw Tiny staring she went up and down -and roared, and said, - -"O my dear boy!" - -But Tiny turned his back on the tea-thing; and he was cross, because he -was found-out. - -Then he thought of a little lie, and cheered up, and told it; and it -was, - -"I was looking at the crest." - -But Baby said, - -"The crest is the other side, Tiny," which was rather depressing for -Tiny after all his trouble. - -So he went crosser than ever, because he was found-out twice now. - -And he took off the bit of plaister that he had allowed Baby to put on -his thumb last night, and threw it down, and trod on it, to show he -would be master in his own house. - -But Baby teased some more and said, - -"Poor Tiny then! it was a shame, it was! He shall worship himself, he -shall." And she said that because Tiny had told a little lie, and she -was teaching him. And Baby didn't often teach by tease, for she didn't -believe in it; but she did this time because Tiny had lied a little. - -So Tiny nibbled his nails, because he knew that would annoy Baby; but -he said nothing, because there was nothing to say. - -Then Baby went back to the window, and said inside, - -"Poor old Tiny! If I was Tiny and like so," which was very tall and -little curls all over, "I know I'd be the very same only worse." Only -Baby really was much nicer herself; only she didn't think so much about -it, because of a girl and too sensible; and Tiny thought about nothing -much else, because of a man and so silly. But Baby taught him so that -he began to have time to think little bits about other things too; so -that less time went before the glass; only it was rather hard for Tiny -at first. - -And when Baby remembered that, she went up to Tiny, and patted his -shoulder, and said, - -"There, old boy!" - -But Tiny went back at her with both elbows to show he wouldn't be good. - -And it was very wrong indeed of Tiny; and he knew that quite well. And -the more he knew it the more ashamed he was. And the more ashamed he -was the more he wouldn't own up. And the more he wouldn't the more he -wanted to. So it went in a sort of circle, as it always does. - -And it was like trying to climb a hill by running down it. And really -a better way is to stick in your heels, and come up jerk, and turn, and -plod. - -Then Baby rang the bell to change the subject. - - - -25 - -And when the bell went Phyllis collected the Others, and stood them by -the door, while she ran to get mannikin out of the boot-hole: for he -might come too if he liked. - -But she found the key wasn't on the nail. So she ran to the Others in -rather a state, and asked them, - -Then one of the Others fussed about in her pocket, and found it, saying, - -"Well I never!--Now however did it get there?" - -So Phyllis answered, pretty sharp, - -"It got there because you put it there," and she ran off with the key. - -But the Others stayed behind, and agreed secretly to dislike Phyllis. - -[Illustration: BUT THE OTHERS AGREED TO DISLIKE PHYLLIS] - -Then Phyllis came to the boot-hole, and unlocked it. - -And the boot-hole was a dear little place, very dark and dewy, with -bricks for the floor, and a glass-hole at the top with wire over it, so -he couldn't get out that way. - -And it was furnished all round the walls with blacking bottles, and -across the middle with a knife-board done up in red powder by the -King's command, to make it comfie for him. - -Then Phyllis tried to collect mannikin; only he wouldn't be collected. - -So Phyllis said, - -"Why?" - -But mannikin only sat on his hands on the knife-board, with his back -very round, and said, - -"Becob I won't," which wasn't a bit like mannikin, for though he was so -mischievous, he was very merry too mostly always. - -Then Phyllis answered quite kindly, - -"Then don't, my dear. I only thought it would make a little run for -you." - -But mannikin only said quite snappy, - -"Goodness sake, go 'way." - -So she went; locking the door behind her, to keep him good and tight. - - -And the real truth was that about a minute back the Commander-in-Chief -had crept into the back-yard in his slippers, and whispered mannikin -through the crack to tell him where the key was, and he would let him -out to escape. For the Commander-in-Chief knew that would get Tiny -into an awful row with the King. - -So mannikin got in a fearful state, and ran up and down the door, and -told the Commander-in-Chief about the key on the nail in the kitchen, -and to get it _quick_! goodness sake _quick_! - -Then the Commander-in-Chief crept to the back-door, disguised as a -milk-man, and peeped into the kitchen. And he found the nail, but no -key on it: for the key was in the pocket of one of the Others all the -time--and a good job, too. - -So when the Commander-in-Chief saw he was disappointed of spiting Tiny -that way, he ran back to the crack, and spat, and swore most terribly, -while poor little mannikin cuddled away in the corner out of range. - -And the Commander-in-Chief said he must report mannikin to the King for -trying to escape, because it was his duty: for the Commander-in-Chief -is head of the Policeman as well as of the Army in That Country. - -And he went on about how he would never have believed it, _never_; and -how disappointed he was; and how he had hoped, and so on, etc. - -And now, he said, however much it pained him, he must tell the King -that mannikin only grew worse and worse, and make His Majesty promise -to keep him tight in the boot-hole all his life for ever. - -And after that he pretended to blub a bit outside the door to show how -grieved he was; and then turned away. - -So poor mannikin found himself worse off instead of better, which is -often the way, if you try too much. - -Only he soon got over it, and began to sing instead; for mannikin took -nothing to heart very much. - -But the Commander-in-Chief shuffled away across the Common in his -bedroom slippers, very busy and bad. - - - -26 - -Then Tiny grumbled some out of a book. - -Only he didn't grumble it well: for he kept one eye on the book, and -one eye on the window, to see if the road was looking through the -blinds. - -But nobody was, only old Methuselah, who crossed the road, a foot at a -time, and leaned his head over the gate. And when he heard what was -going on inside, he closed his eyes, and bowed his head: for Methuselah -was like a lot more, he wanted people to think he was a deal pi-er than -he really was. - -Then, when that was done, and Phyllis and the Others had left the -parlour, Tiny just dumped down and gobbled porridge without a word. - -So Baby sat behind the tea-thing and ate bread without butter, for she -didn't feel hungry. And when Tiny looked at her, and pretended he -hadn't, she looked back at him, quite kind and true. - -And when Tiny saw that, he was so ashamed that he went worse than ever, -and gobbled till everything was all gone: so that he really had -something to grumble about now; which he did gladly. - -Then Baby played music on the table behind the sugar-bowl; and she was -rather white, and rather tired; and she said. - -"Very sorry, Tiny. Shall I ring for more?" - -So Tiny snapped, - -"Yes. No. What you like." - -And when he had said that, he wanted to say sorry so bad that he -thought he would unless he left the room. - -So he got up and went out quick for fear. And he put on his cap and -his cane, and went out of the front-door, and down the path joggle with -his knees to show don't-care-damb, which was quite a lie, because he -did care a lot. - -Then Baby came to the door, and peeped at his back; and water stood in -Baby's eyes; and she said low, - -"I'll tidy up, and have everything square by the time you get back, -Tiny." - -But Tiny just joggled, and pretended don't-care-damb some more. - -Then Baby peeped; and her handkerchief was at her mouth; and she said -in a wee voice, - -"Back for tea, Tiny?" - -So Tiny answered, - -"Dunno," and joggled down the path. - -Then Baby gasped, - -"Hope you will, Tiny-boy!" And she shut the door and ran, because she -was taken blubby bad. - -And when Tiny heard that, he could not bear it any more, for you can't -if they keep on at it; and he thought, - -"You _are_ a darling! I _am_ a cad." - -And he stopped, and turned, and went back to the door as though he had -his seven league boots on, to say sorry I'm a cad, which he truly was. - -But the door was shut. - -Then Tiny ran up and down on his feet, and cried at the key-hole, - -"Lemme in! lemme in! lemme in! O Baby! I _do_ love you! Truly sorry! -lemme in!" - -But it was too late then. - -So Tiny stood outside the door and wished he hadn't. And that is what -Adam spent his time doing outside the Gates of Eden. And it is what -most of us spend a lot of time doing when it's too late. And it very -often isn't till you stand outside and wish you hadn't, that you know -how jolly it was inside, before you had. - -Then Tiny turned away down the steps no more joggle now; and he was so -sorry he blew his nose. - -And Baby heard his nose go from her room above, and she knew, and -thought, - -"You dear old goose, you!" which was a very favourite thought of -Baby's, and like Baby to think it just then. - -And she tipped on her toes in the middle of the room, and saw Tiny -going through the gate blowing his nose to take the water out of his -eyes. And when she saw that, she waved to him, only he couldn't see -her, and she didn't want him to, for after all she was teaching Tiny, -and he had been about as bad as a man can be, which is pretty bad. - -Then Baby picked up her skirts, and did some steps before the -looking-glass. - -And she looked pretty tip-top; only there was nobody to see her only -herself. - -So she swung round, and stopped before the glass, and bobbed to -herself, and said, - -"You're pretty jolly, Miss." - -Then she remembered Tiny and the tea-thing, and she roared, and said, - -"You're far worse than Tiny, my dear girl!" And she gave a twirl and a -skip and kicked her hand with her foot; and was as free and happy as a -lark because she knew she had won. - -And Baby always won over Tiny, because she always won over herself. -And if you can't win over yourself, you can't expect to win over other -people. - -And a woman can always win over a man, so long as the man is decently -good, and so long as she goes by the Big Rule. For the Big Rule is the -same in That Country as in all others. - -And the Big Rule is, - -_Love is Power._ - - - -27 - -Then Tiny walked across the Common. - -And the road gleamed before him in the sun, so that it was like walking -on a silver river; for the frost was oozing out of the ground, though -all under the gorse-bushes was white still. And the ivy on the beeches -in the Wood at the foot of the Fort-hill shone till it dazzled, while -the beeches themselves were a cloud of purple. - -And when Tiny got into the shadow of the Wood the road was hard again, -and rang to his feet; and all the little pools were feathered over with -ice; and a chaffinch sat on a bare bough, and pinked. - -And all that was lovely. Only Tiny didn't see any of it: for he was so -sad inside that everything was dark to him. - -But when he had gone by, the Commander-in-Chief, who had been hiding -behind a beech-trunk, came out, and stood in the road, with his hands -on his knees, and laughed _most_ horridly. - - - - -[Illustration: Book VI headpiece] - - - - -BOOK VI.--THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF PAYS FOR GOLIATH - - -28 - -Then Tiny climbed up the Hill to the Fort. - -And there the Fellows were taking down the wire netting, which they -always put round the wall at dark, in case They should come on by -night: for They were like a lot more, They were always supposed to be -going to do a heap of things They never did. - -Then Tiny shook hands with the brown Captain, and kicked the yellow -one, and crawled through the wall by the cannon-hole, and out on to the -barrack-square. - -And the barrack-square was a sort of blank desert with cubicles all -round; and the Junior Subaltern was making up the beds inside, which -was always his little job: for the Junior Subaltern has to do all the -things that nobody else will do in that Regiment. - -But directly he saw Tiny, he shut up work, and came across the square, -very silly and sheepish. - -And the Junior Subaltern walked with his toes rather turned in. And -his knickers were patched, and his stockings darned: for his mother was -a very careful woman. And his collar had slipped up the back of his -neck, so that there was a great gap: for his back-button was off, as -usual, although they always put him under arrest for it whenever they -remembered. But what the Junior Subaltern always said was, - -"It's mother--not me." - - -Then when he got quite close to Tiny, he looked at his toes, and said -in a very little whisper, - -"Truly sorry, Tiny." - -Then Tiny frowned and answered, - -"I should just think you were. Certainly you ought to be. And now -tell me, what is it you are sorry for?" - -So the Junior Subaltern twiddled his toes over each other, and answered -very low, - -"For you know." - -Then Tiny said very sternly, - -"Yes, I know--only I've forgotten." - -So the Junior Subaltern whispered, - -"At your wedding." - -Then Tiny remembered about the drop of lime-juice off a feather in the -porch. And he wagged his head very sorrowfully and said, - -"O dear! O dear! O dear!" And he walked up and down for a long long -time, with his hands behind him, and his chin on his chest, groaning, -and so on etc. - -Then at last he stopped, and rolled one eye at the Junior Subaltern, -and said, - -"I forgive you on condition I may lecture you for as long as I like. -D'you agree?" - -So the Junior Subaltern answered, - -"I should like to think it over first, please," for he knew what a -lecture from Tiny meant. - -So he turned his back, and dug at a weed with his toe, while he thought -it over. - -Then after about a bit he muttered pretty tearfully, - -"Well, I agree, because there's no other way. Only goodness sake get -it over quick." - -Then Tiny took him tight by the arm, and walked him up and down, and up -and down, and gave him the longest lecture that ever was all about -nothing, and simplee loved it. - -And the Junior Subaltern blew his nose upside down without a -handkerchief, which you do when you want the tears to go inside and not -out, and said every quarter of an hour, - -"I say! isn't that bout enough?" - -But Tiny only answered, - -"No, thank-you," and went on. - -So the Junior Subaltern said rather sulkily, - -"Well, it's a good long go anyway." - -Then when Tiny really could not think of any more, he made the Junior -Subaltern learn by heart the Sorry Song he and Baby had written in -Moonland; and after that he made him stand on the Fort-wall and sing -it; which he did--not very nicely. - -And when that was finished, Tiny said, - -"That'll do for the present, thank-you." - -So the Junior Subaltern scrambled off the wall, saying to himself out -loud, - -"Jolly good job too," and ran off to find the Boy. - - - -29 - -So Tiny came to the whitewash shed, where the Fellows were now, eating -more and complaining louder than ever. - -Then when Tiny had counted them, he said, - -"But where's the Colonel?" - -So the brown Captain answered, - -"In bed--bad with shock." - -And all the Fellows said in a sort of a chorus, - -"Bed--bad with shock." - -And some said it was one thing; and some said it was another; and a -good lot said it was neither. But they all agreed that Cooey had come -from the Castle in the dawn with a writing, and had fluttered up to the -Colonel, who was helping the Boy soap Goliath; and that after reading -the writing the Colonel had taken to his bed without a word. - -Then Tiny, who loved the Colonel, because he was so red and round and -thought nice of everybody, ran up the ladder to the loft: for the -Colonel always lives above the shed in that Army to be handy. - -And when Tiny had undone the trap-door, and peeped through, there lay -the dear old Colonel in bed in the dark corner under the cobweb, quite -quite bald. - -And his knees were cocked up, and his arms round them, and his little -nose laid on his knees skew-wise. - -And he was saying to himself in a weak voice, - -"I am the Colonel. I love evewybody, and evewybody loves me. And -evewything's always as nice as nice can be in our dear Countwy. Only -I've had a bit of a shock--that's all." - -Then Tiny climbed out on to the floor, and came towards the corner on -his toes. - -And when the Colonel saw him coming, he let his knees down, and went -back on the pillow, and said rather faintly, - -"Ah, my dear dear boy!--how are you?--how's Baby?" for next to animals, -the Colonel loved Baby best in all the world. - -Then Tiny shook hands and said, - -"I'm awfully sorry to hear of this, Sir." And he pulled a truss of -straw up to the bed and sat on it, and said very gently, - -"Would you care for me to tell you about me and Baby and Moonland, -Sir?--and the landlady, and the lake, and the fish there was supposed -to be there, and that?" - -For Tiny began to understand a little about illness now: for Baby -taught him. Only he thought he understood a lot more than he did, -which was rather a favourite thing of Tiny's. - -But the Colonel shut his eyes, and said, "Thank-you, my dear boy, -thank-you. Some day I want to hear _all_ about it--not just now -though. Twuth is I've had wather a shock. So've you, my poor boy. -So've we all. Only p'w'aps it's worse for you and my little Marwy than -for the others." - -And he opened his eyes a bit, and said, "Have you got into Cosy Cottage -yet, you and Baby?" - -So Tiny cheered up and answered, "Yes, Sir. We settled in last night, -as jolly as can be. Baby sings all the time she's so happy." - -Then the Colonel nodded to and fro, murmuring, - -"Ah, my poor boy! my poor Baby!--bad, bad, bad." - -Then he wiped his eyes, and picked up a blue writing that was lying on -the bed, and handed it Tiny, saying, - -"It's all in there, my poor boy--all in there. Wead it yourself. I -wouldn't have it otherwise for the world. Still it's wather a -shock--that's all: especially for you and my little Marwy." - -Then Tiny took the writing to the dusty sunbeam that lit the loft -through a crack in the thatch. - -And the writing was in a great blob hand that Tiny knew well; and it -went, - - -_Move to-day, u and the Redgement, and any more u like, to another Fort -if u can find one. Why? Because I order you--I am_ - - The Right Honorary St Jack-Assquire, - Own blud brudder to George, - Commander-in-Chief at the Castle now, - And hope to be Royal King one day. - -_P.S.--I send u a midjut of me in my khaki with what Willie give me on -my right turn. I send it u free, because to show I've got no grudge -against u.... Shew it round. It shud encurudge recruutin. Send me -some reports on this soon as u know._ - - -Then as Tiny read it through for the second time, the Colonel said from -the bed, - -"Wather wude--ain't it'?" And he sniffed a bit. "But there! dear old -St Jacky! I can't help loving the chap--he is so very stwaight." - -All the same his mouth began to go, and he went on rather gaspy, - -"I don't mind for myself. It's my little Marwy. Her mother's buried -here. I think it will bweak her h-h-heart." And one tear went. "And -it means a move for you too, poor fellow. Cosy Cottage goes with the -Fort, you know." - -And he dabbed and went on, - -"I wonder what it all means." - -Then Tiny, who was rather white, answered, - -"It means spite, Sir," and he told the Colonel about the -Commander-in-Chief's great ambition, and his attempt on Goliath by -night, and his toe, and so on etc.: for they had not told the Colonel -before, because they always kept from him anything that would give him -pain. - -And when he heard that, he said, - -"I'm disappointed in St Jack--vewy disappointed. I thought he was a -gweat man," for he always took everybody at their own opinion of -themselves, which was very sweet and simple of him. - -But Tiny tore the writing into little bits, and put them on the fire; -so that it was like hell for the bits. - -And he said to himself out loud, - -"Debbel-debbel-damb-damb," which he knew quite well he shouldn't. - -Then he ran across the floor pitter-pat; and down the ladder to the -bottom, bump; and across the square patter-pit; screaming, - -"I don't care! I will say!--Debbel-debbel-damb-damb." - - - -30 - -So Tiny ran out of the Fort to tell Baby they must move out of Cosy -Cottage at once, quickly this minute. - -And a little woolly white dog came out after him in a great state, and -stood on four legs, and barked till it shook. - -But Tiny only ran on like lead. - -So the little woolly white dog pretended he'd driven him off, and -walked across the road and back very stiff on his toes, to try to take -the cat in. But the cat just sat on the wall, and blinked instead. - -Then Tiny pounded down the hill with his heart in his heels. - -And the hedges on either side looked like crawly purple caterpillars -with grey-green leper splotches where the privet grew; and a plump -little wren flitted in and out before him as he ran, mocking; while the -Pond on the Common beneath winked each time the wind blew, like a -leering great eye. - -And Tiny loathed them all. - -So he ran across the little Bridge, and round the Wood, where the -beeches flushed among the grey of the ashes, and across the Common -among the gorse, till he came to Cosy Cottage. - -And the sun shone on it; and the sparrows chirped in the creepers; and -mannikin sang in the boot-hole at the back; and Phyllis was at the door -polishing the knocker; and even the Others were leaning out of -upstairs, pretending with dusters, while they tried to carry on with -the King, who was cleaning the Castle-window round the corner; while -the Queen scowled from the wash-tub. - -And when Tiny saw all that, and remembered Baby singing so happy that -morning, his heart stopped dead. And he stood with his hand on the -gate, and just looked. - -Then the door burst open, and out rushed Baby in an apron, with a -scream and a scurry, yelling, - -"O, Tiny! what _do_ you think?" - -But Tiny only answered quite dull and dead, - -"What?" - -So Baby cried, - -"The Commander-in-Chief's been to call!--And hee came disguised as a -parson--only he forgot about his cocked hat, which he was wearing. So -of course I found him out, and roared. And when he saw he was -discovered, he looked rather silly at first. Then he cheered up, and -said it was all a joke done to amuse me. And really he was so sweet -and smiling--you can't think. He bowed up and down in the door, and -said he'd come to ask if I was happy in my little home, for that was -all he cared about; and there were quite tears in his eyes. And when I -said I should just think I was, he seemed delighted--honestly. Wasn't -that nice of him?" - -[Illustration: DISGUISED AS A PARSON] - -And she hopped on the path, her hand upon Tiny's arm, and her hair all -splendid and babbled on, - -"So of course I asked him in, and showed him over, and all my -improvements and that. And he rubbed his hands and chuckled, and said -how cosy and comfie, and hoped I should live to enjoy it as long as I -liked. And after that he asked how mannikin was getting on, and if he -might see him, and said that was really why he came, and the reason of -his disguise. So I took him myself. And he gave him quite a nice -little talking to on being good and not spiteful and that; and said if -he didn't try to escape perhaps the King would let him out some day. -But mannikin behaved shockingly and cuddled away in the corner, -nibbling his nut, and giggled till I was really quite ashamed." - -And when Baby remembered that, and the Commander-in-Chief standing in -the door of the boot-hole in his parson's clothes and cocked hat -talking pi, she laughed like anything. - -But Tiny just said nothing. - -So Baby babbled on, - -"And after that he shook hands, and said he could feel happy about me -now--Wasn't it nice of him? And he took off his cocked hat, and went -down the road, whistling. So you see he's quite a reformed character." -And she laid her hand on Tiny's arm, and twinkled up at him, and said -slowly, - -"I--almost--wish----" - -Then she looked in her pocket, and cried, - -"But O! I forgot. I was to give this writing to Captain Tiny with his -_dear_ love. So you see, Tiny, he can forgive." - -But Tiny said nothing, and took the writing. - -And it was in pencil on some greasy paper that had folded a dead fish: -for St Jack was good at insults if he was good at nothing else. - -And the writing ran, - -_I paid u one for your snuk. This pays u for your share in Goliuf. -And I will pay u one more yet because I love u so._ - -_How?_ - -_Ha!_ - -_SAINT JACK._ - -_P.S.--I have got orders from the King to burn down Cosy Cottage before -night, because I told him it had been lived in by swines, who had had -swine-fever. So clear out at once or sooner._ - - - -31 - -Then Tiny wound round Baby, and walked her up and down in the road -under the yew-hedge, where nobody could see, only Methuselah, who -didn't matter, and told her all about it very tenderly. - -And when Baby heard that, she went quite pale, and leaned on Tiny, so -that he wound round very tight indeed. - -But all she said was, - -"Pooh! move to another Fort!--what's it matter?--means a change of -house--that's all." - -Only when she got back to the garden, and saw her little home so cosy -under creepers, and the two windows in front so neat and nice, with -tiny white curtains with waists that she'd put up herself that morning, -and the one behind, with nothing yet, but soon would have, and -everybody so busy and happy and good, she did blink a bit. - -And when Tiny saw that, he said in her ear, - -"You poor old duck, you!" - -But Baby just hopped and cried, - -"Pah!--I hate this little dog-hole. Not enough room to swing a cat in. -Thankful to be shut of it." - -All the same she let go Tiny's arm and ran quickly. And when she got -into her dear little parlour that she'd arranged so cosy and stuffy and -huggy-warm and tight up to the top with things, and Tiny's big chair -one side the hearth where he was to have learned up E in the evenings, -and her little one on the other side where she was to have heard him -say it, she locked the door and sat down and began. - -Then Tiny came up outside. - -And when he heard what was going on inside, he tried hard to get in. - -But Baby wouldn't let him. - -So Tiny whispered with his mouth, close to the crack, - -"O, Baby, d'you forgive for this morning?" - -Then Baby came to the door, and undid a bit, and shoved her little -finger through. - -So Tiny took it, and said, all sobby, - -"Best and booflest!--Gobbless. Gobbless. Gobbless. Amen. Amen. -Amen. No more now. See you again some day. Bye. Goobye." - -And he ran out. - - - -32 - -Then as the clock struck twelve the Colonel marched out of the Fort, -with little Marwy, the regimental baa-lamb, on a string, and his sword -drawn, saying, - -"Left-right! left-right!" - -And behind him came the Fellows saying in a sort of chorus, - -"Left-right! left-right!" - -And behind the Fellows came old Goly and the Boy, drawing the great -cannon: which was really what Goly was for, only they used him for -rides instead. - - -And as they passed the Wood, the Commander-in-Chief sat on a gate, with -his cocked hat on the back of his head and said to himself out loud, - -"And if they don't find a Fort then that proves they're no soldiers. -So out of the Country they go for shams. And if they do, then I come -and plough the lot in E. So guess I've got um either way." - -And he threw his legs about and laughed. - -But the Colonel walked on without a word: for he was grieved about the -Commander-in-Chief. - -Then Tiny came by. - -And when the Commander-in-Chief saw him, he pointed his finger, and -laughed till he had to wipe his eyes, rocking to and fro, and crying, - -"O dear! O dear! O dear!--Souse me, won't you?--It does make me laff -so--you and Baby all settled in so cosy and comfie in your little home, -and now turned out, and got to find a new house before night or leave -the Country. E! E! E! Master Tiny! E! E! E!" - -But Tiny marched on quite brave and steady: for he was true to Baby, -and what she had taught him; which was Love. - -Then St Jack laughed so that at last he toppled off the gate backwards -on to his cocked hat, and bashed it. - -But he pulled himself together, and scrambled on his knees, and pelted -stones at Goliath's back-view, which he couldn't help hitting, and -yelled, - -"Fat beast! I'll have my ride yet, you'll see." - -But Goly did nothing, only went with a whisky tail: for old Goly knew -about discipline. Only he stored it up in his memory for the future -all the same. - - -Then the Regiment marched on across the Common, only stopping to pat -Methuselah under the thorn for the last time. - -[Illustration: THEN THE REGIMENT MARCHED ON] - -But as they were passing by the old yew, little Marwy baaed, and tugged -away towards her mother's grave; where the clover grew. - -Then the Colonel stooped, swallowing his throat. And he picked her up -in his arms, and marched on without a word. - -And they went down a rutty lane that seemed to have no turning, until -by good luck they came to a Fort in a Hole at the bottom. - - -And when the Colonel saw that, he said, - -"What about in here?" for he knew it didn't matter where they went, so -long as they went somewhere. For the Commander-in-Chief was like a lot -more, he had only one idea, which was to give trouble. - -So the Colonel walked across the drawbridge with little Marwy in his -arms, and banged with his sword-hilt. - -And when nobody came, he peeped in. - -And it was all empty inside, only for a lot of weeds, and an old -speckled seagull with a dagger-beak, limping up and down the -barrack-square. - -And when the Colonel saw the gull, his eyes shone, and he said, - -"This'll do. Come on," and he put down little Marwy, and trotted in; -and the Fellows followed with Goliath and the great cannon rumbling -over the draw-bridge behind. - -Then the Fellows set the cannon up with its nose over the wall; for it -was a low wall; and the Fort was in a Hole. So when they fired the -cannon off to see if it was all all right, the ball only hit the -mud-bank that ran round, and bounded back and took the yellow one's -wind rather; which cheered Tiny up a bit. - -But, as the big brown captain said, when he saw the cannon wouldn't -shoot over the bank, it didn't really matter much: for it was the noise -that kept Them down, supposing They were there. - -And while the Fellows rubbed the yellow one, the Colonel ran and made -friends with the gull. - -But Tiny went apart, and wrote a writing on his cuff, and sent it by -Cooey to Baby. - -And the writing ran, - -_Found a Fort in a Hole come quicks-you-can by Puck and get a house -near by to put things in.--TINY._ - - - -33 - -And when Baby got the writing, she led out Puck from the shed, and put -him in the little cart, while Phyllis held the shafts, and mannikin -screamed a lot of orders through the crack of the boot-hole: for -mannikin was like Tiny, and wanted everybody to think he was horsey. - -But Baby and Phyllis paid no heed, and just did up the band instead, -while Puck tried to bite them, which was a very favourite thing of -Puck's. - -Then they put the things under the seat, and Baby got in, with mannikin -and the Junior Subaltern on the back-seat: for the Colonel had left the -Junior Subaltern behind to sweep up; which was always his little job. - -Then Baby took the reins, and tugged, and Puck went off at a run-away -patter; while Phyllis walked, and the Others trailed behind on high -heels. - - -And it was Winter by now. And Baby always said she liked Winter best, -for the same reason as Autumn. - -And the roads were good with frost; and Puck's feet rang as he -pattered; and the robins sat about and sang; and there were red berries -on the holly, and apples to chew, so Baby chewed them as she drove. - -Only there were no houses near the Hole to be found, which made it -rather difficult for Baby to find one. But Baby wouldn't be beat, -because she didn't believe in it. - -So she drove round and round the rim of the Hole all day looking. - -And when ever they came to the corner of the road there was the -Commander-in-Chief sitting on a mud-heap, reading up out of a great -book. - -And each time they came round he jumped up, and took off his cocked hat -very courteously, saying, - -"And have you found a house yet, Mrs. Tiny?" - -And each time Baby smiled back and answered, - -"Almost nearly quite, thank-you." - -Then the Commander-in-Chief cooed, - -"_So_ glad," and went back to his book with a little snigger. - -But Baby flicked up Puck and drove on. - - -Then towards evening she came to a white house with windows under an -elm with rooks. - -And when Baby heard the rooks, one tear went, for it made her think of -her home in the Hall several miles off. - -And when the Junior Subaltern saw Baby's tear go, his tear went too: -for his heart was pretty juicy still. - -So Baby pulled up Puck, while mannikin ran to his head to show he knew -all about it. - -Then Baby looked over the gate, and said, rather trembly, - -"Why not this?" - -So the Junior Subaltern glanced over his shoulder, and whispered, - -"Cause you can't," and pointed to a great notice-board in the garden -that said in huge letters, - -GO AWAY. - - -But Baby cheered up and cocked her nose, and said to show him, - -"Can't I, Boy? Can," and she whipped up Puck, and nearly ran over -mannikin, and went up the drive under the elms in the dusk. - -But the Junior Subaltern did what the notice-board told him, and jumped -off, and ran away down to the Fort in the Hole, as hard as his little -legs would carry him. - -And there they spanked him for being out after dark. - - -But Baby drew up at the white house, and ran up the steps, and peeped -into the drawing-room, where tea was, and smiled in, and said, - -"May we have your house, please, Tiny and me?" - -Then the old lady put down the teapot, and said very graciously, - -"Why should you, my dear?" - -So Baby thought for a long time with her nose in the door, and said at -last, - -"Only because I like its looks." - -Then the old lady, who was a very beautiful character, and great on -giving up things, said very smilingly, - -"Then there's no more to be said." - -And she got up and said to her daughter, - -"Come, my dear." - -So they went out, while Baby held the door for them. - -And when they got outside they remembered they were relations of the -King's. So they tramped across to the Castle, and stayed there. - - - -34 - -And when they were quite gone, Baby went in, and bagged a postage-stamp -out of their box, and wrote on the back of it in large great letters, - - LET - by - BABY, - -and stuck it in the window to show everybody: for when Baby had done a -thing, she liked everybody to know about it. - -Then she tore out to Phyllis and the Others who were coming up the -drive, crying, - -"O don't I manage well!" for Baby really thought there was nobody in -the whole world managed like she did. - -Only when she got outside she saw the Commander-in-Chief sitting on the -lawn in the moon, reading up out of the great book. - -So she steadied herself and walked across to him. - -But the Commander-in-Chief stayed deep in his book, and waved away with -his hand, saying in a squeaky voice, - -"'Scuse me, won't you!--Truth is I have to examine pore Captain Tiny -and the others in E about to-morrow. Only hope they'll pass--that's -all; because if they don't they'll have to leave the country." - -But Baby stood before him in the moon and said, very grave and sad, - -"You haven't been very loving, have you, Jacky?" - -Then the Commander-in-Chief read on all the harder. - -But Baby said, very low and quiet, - -"Have you, Jacky?" - -Then the Commander-in-Chief shut the book snap, and got up quick, and -walked away with his shoulders rather high. - - - - -[Illustration: Book VII headpiece] - - - - -BOOK VII.--GOLIATH PAYS THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF - - -35 - -So they moved into the white house. - -And it was in a garden with a grass-walk. - -And there was a lawn under an elm with rooks, and a drive. - -And at the bottom of the drive was a cottage among currant-bushes. And -there a little old woman lived behind a lattice and crooned all day, - - "Little Old - Lollypop - Lived in a - Stuffy Shop, - Watching the - Crickets Hop-pop, - Hop-pop." - - -So Baby loved it all better even than Cosy Cottage. - -And when, she and Phyllis had arranged the things round the wall, she -sat down and wrote to the Commander-in-Chief, - -_DEAR JACKY,--Will you come and have tea with me? Your loving,--BABY,_ - -to show she forgave him quite and quite. - -But St Jack wrote back, very short and simple, - -_No. I wun't,_ - -to show he wouldn't be forgiven: for he was a very straight little -fellow when it suited him. - -And St Jack wouldn't go, for he knew very well that if he did he would -repent, because of Baby; and he preferred bad. - -And besides he was kept on duty all day at the Castle just now, handing -tea-cakes to the visitors, which he was rather good at; for St Jack's -manners, when he liked, were very remarkable. - - -So That Country had peace and quiet for some time: for the visitors -settled to stay at the Castle perhaps for ever, because of the -tea-cakes. - - - -36 - -Then St Valentine's Day came with the crocuses. - -And on that day all the birds are married in That Country. - -And after that the blackbirds join with the thrushes, and sing in the -bare trees very rich and jolly: for the blackbirds mayn't sing till -they're married, because that is one of the rules; but when they do -begin they sing more songs and sing them better than the thrushes, -which shout and whistle more. - -And when the blackbirds begin the robins rather leave off: for the -robins are like a lot more, they want to have it all to themselves all -the time; only they just can't. - -So they sulk instead. - - -Then Spring came, and jolly began. And Baby always said she liked -Spring best, because of as before. - -And the sky became a song, and the earth a garden. And the robins went -into the woods; and the swallows came out of the ponds; and the larks -ran up the sky; and everybody was glad. - -And the sap rose everywhere, and rather got into mannikin's head; and -he became so dreadfully excited that at last Baby took Tiny down to see -him, because she was afraid his poor little brain was going. - -So they came to the hole, and looked in. - -And there was mannikin standing on the knife-board, and plugging the -blacking-bottles on to the bricks. - -And when Tiny said - -"Why?" - -Mannikin sucked his thumb and answered, - -"Becob I like to see the ink splosh so." - -Then Tiny, who loved lecturing better than anything else in the world, -took the blacking-bottles away from him, and told him he was only -making it worse for himself, and the badder he behaved the longer he'd -be there, and how the King was very strict, although he was so good and -kind. - -But Mannikin didn't seem to mind, and strutted up and down the -boot-hole, with his hands in his pockets, singing, - - "I'm the cock of the boot-hole! - I'm the cock of the boot-hole! - See me! - See me! - I'm the cock of the boot-hole!" - - - -37 - -And after that May and June came. - -And there were tad-poles in the ponds, and lilacs with purple plumes, -and chestnuts with white ones, and cuckoos calling and little -flop-birds that tried to fly, and tumbled on the lawn instead. And -everything was jolly all around. - -And Tiny played cricket in the Fort in the Hole, while Baby sat on the -wall with the Fellows, and watched him, and afterwards wrote round, - - -_Tiny played four balls, and hit one. The next bowled him, and the -Junior Subaltern umpired him out. So that wasn't so bad--for us, was -it!_ - - -And every day when the Regiment went out to War, after the first -pellet, the Colonel fell out, because he said he'd be a casualty now, -and let the other Fellows have a go, which Tiny always took to mean him. - -And the Colonel ran away bent up double behind the wild cherry-hedge -till he came where Baby was waiting him under the laburnum at the -little gate into her garden. - -And when she had let him in, they ran hand in hand to the elm, where -there was a great bowl of milk and a cabbage-leaf of strawberries ready. - -Then the dear old Colonel took off his shako, and was quite quite bald. -And he sat on a little stool among the elm-roots, and drank the milk, -and ate the strawberries, while Baby leaned up against the elm with her -feet straight before her, and read him a story of a naughty -pussy-kitten out of a great picture-book. - -And that pleased the Colonel so that he lifted himself on his hands and -swung to and fro, chuckling. - - -And after that Baby had a grey kitten of her own, which the Colonel -gave her; and she played with it all the time. - -And every day she took the kitten on her shoulder, and went down the -drive under the trees in the dappled sunshine to meet Tiny when he came -home from the Fort, which he usually did about an hour after he'd -started for it. For work tired Tiny very easily so that he had to be -careful not to overdo it. - -And Baby and Tiny walked home arm in arm, when they thought nobody was -looking, though everybody was, especially mannikin behind the bars of -the boot-hole at one end of the drive, and little old Lollypop through -the lattice at the other end. - -And Baby hugged Tiny's arm, and Tiny hugged Baby's. And Tiny looked -down, and Baby looked up. - -And Baby said, - -"Now me!" and hopped. - -And Tiny said, - -"Now me!" and skipped. - -Then both said, - -"Now bofe!" and jumped. - -And Baby smiled, and Tiny grinned, and neither spoke. And sometimes -tears came because of nobody knew why, and sometimes roars because of -so jolly. And half the time they were so wise you wouldn't believe, -and half the time so silly you can't think, and whole the time so happy -I couldn't tell you. - - - -38 - -But with Summer coming, the Commander-in-Chief began to stir again. - -For the Queen at the Castle came with her hands on her hips and said -she could do no more tea-cakes just now, and they must ave mustard and -cress instead. - -[Illustration: SHE COULD DO NO MORE TEA CAKES] - -Then the King cocked his crown, and asked if he might be so good as to -inquire her reasons. - -So the Queen mopped and answered, - -"Because of too warm." - -But the old lady, when she heard that, got up, and said to her daughter -rather bitterly, for too many tea-cakes had soured her nature, - -"_Then_ I think it's time for us to be going." And they went out with -their heads very high, and camped on the Common instead; which you may -as soon as the grass is dry. - -But the King was really rather glad: for he was a bit bored. - -And the Commander-in-Chief was glad too; for he was free to do his bad -best once more. - - -And that very afternoon, as the Colonel and Tiny were taking their -daily ride on Goliath--the Colonel with the sea-gull in his arms to -give it a swim in the Pond,--the Commander-in-Chief, disguised as a -nigger-boy, leaped out of the Wood, and tried to storm Goly by the tail. - -But Goly just turned his trunk, and gave the Commander-in-Chief a good -old clout instead, which sent him sprawling. - -Then the Colonel, who was sitting towards the head, said, - -"What is it?" - -So Tiny, who was sitting towards the tail, answered, very loud, - -"Only a dirty little black boy, Sir, whom Goly spanked for tweaking his -tail." But Tiny really knew quite well, because the -Commander-in-Chief's hump stuck up in the air, as he lay flat-face in -the mud. - -And when the Commander-in-Chief heard what Tiny said, tie raised his -face, with his nose all muddy, and screamed, - -"I'll tell the King! I'll tell the King! I'll tell the King!" and he -buried his face in the road again, and simplee kicked. - -But Tiny just cried back anyhow, - -"Dummind if you do," for he knew he was all right: for if when you are -Commander-in-Chief you disguise as a nigger-boy, you mustn't mind if -you do get spanked. - -Besides Tiny knew that St Jack had been growing so old of late, that -even the good King had begun to notice it. - -And Tiny knew _that_ because the Queen who was a bit of a blab, honest -soul, had told him in secret that morning, when he went to the Castle -for the washing; which was always his little job. - -For the Queen does all the washing in That Country. - - -A few minutes later as Baby came panting up the lane with Tiny's boat, -which he was going to sail on the Pond against the Colonel's gull, she -found the Commander-in-Chief sitting in the middle of the path, -fiddling his nose about between his fingers, and blubbing rather. - -And when she saw how muddy his nose was, and how he fiddled it, she ran -up with her eyes round-wide, crying, - -"O, you poor little thing!--What _have_ they been doing to you?--Let me -wipe your nose for you." - -Then the Commander-in-Chief answered very brave, as he leaned back on -his hands, with his nose up for Baby to do, - -"Why, I was comin up the lane, when all of a sudden--pop! bang! They -set on me--ten hundud times ten hundud of um. But I beat um off--and I -killed um all." And he bubbled his eyes and whispered--"There was some -true live blood." - -Then Baby whistled as she did his nose with her handkerchief, and said, - -"Strikes me, you are the bravest in all the world--only Tiny." - -But when the Commander-in-Chief heard that, he slapped Baby's hand -away, and scrambled to his feet, and bowed up and down with a sort of a -smile, saying, - -"Thank-_ku_," and went away down the lane with his hump up high: for it -only rose when he was in a temper. - - - -39 - -But St Jack was not the only one who was growing old in That Country -about now. - -For the Others, who had never been young, were aging very rapidly, -because of Phyllis, who scolded them when they didn't work, and cuffed -them when they did. - -So one evening when Phyllis had run down to little old Lollypop for -some fruit for supper (for you have pretty well all fruit in the summer -in That Country) the Others came and stood in a row before Baby on the -lawn, and said, - -"Please, 'M," and the rest, like they do in Abroad; and let go a tear -they had got ready. - -So when Phyllis ran back up the drive, Baby peeped through the golden -bush and called, - -"Phyllis." - -Then Phyllis came, with the great basket of cherries on her head. - -And Baby stood by the golden bush, and pulled a leaf to pieces, and -said, very grave and sad, - -"Is it true?" - -So Phyllis cocked her nose, and answered, - -"Some is, Miss; most ain't," which is usually the way with stories from -folk in Abroad. - -Then Baby turned her face away, and said, - -"You are very straight and true, Phyllis. So I love you. Only I must -sack you all the same, because you mustn't pinch," for that is one of -the rules. - -Then Phyllis nearly cried, and said, - -"Very well, Miss. Only why can't the Others go back to Abroad where -they belong?" - -And when Baby heard that, she went to the back-door, and peeped. - -And there were the Others trying on huge flower-hats before the glass, -and saying there was only one puffect gentleman in That Country, and he -was the Commander-in-Chief. - -So Baby said very gently, - -"My dears, don't you think you'd be happier back in Abroad, where you -belong?" - -Then the Others turned up their noses, and drooped down their mouths, -and said, - -"Thank-ye for nothin--We was just hon the go." - -And they swept out arm-in-arm, and flounced back to Abroad, where they -belonged; and a good job too. - -But Phyllis stayed with Baby for ever and ever. - - - -40 - -Then about next morning the Commander-in-Chief came to the Fort in the -Hole, and knocked. - -And he was wearing a cap and gown over his khaki-coat, so people might -take him for a scholar; and under his arm was the great E-book. - -And when the Junior Subaltern came to the gate, and asked him what he -wanted, he dropped his eyes, and answered very piously, "I have come to -examine you all in E,--and especially my deah Captain Tiny." - -So the Junior Subaltern let him in, because he knew he could do it all -right. - -Then the Commander-in-Chief came in, walking with his shoulders rather -round, and his knees rather knocky, because that was how he thought you -did if you were a scholar. - -But when he got to the square, there was the King in his crown walking -up and down arm in arm with the Colonel and Tiny. - -And they were laughing and chattering all together at once; and the -King was telling about his visitors, and how they had gone at last; and -the Colonel was talking about the sea-gull, and how he had christened -him Moses; and Tiny was telling about mannikin, and what a good little -mannikin he was growing under Baby, who had him out of his hole every -day to pick daisies, and taught him. - -But when they saw the Commander-in-Chief slouching across the square, -with the E-book under his arm, they all stopped. - -Then the King stepped forward, and took off his crown very courteously, -and said, - -"Ah, St Jack! I see why you've come. Well. I'll tell you. I have -just examined these gentlemen for you. And I know no one will be so -glad as you to hear that they have all passed, and especially your deah -Captain Tiny, as nobody ever passed before. So now you can go back to -the Castle whence you came. Thank-you very much all the same. How -d'you do?--Good-bye." - -Then the Commander-in-Chief, when he heard that, bowed up and down with -a sort of a smile. - -And after that he slouched back across the square to the gate: for -there was nothing else to do. - -But Tiny ran before him in a great bustle, saying, - -"Let me, Sir!" and held the gate for him, for nobody could be more -charming than Tiny when he liked, which was mostly always never. - -And as the Commander-in-Chief went through, he said most sweetly, - -"_So_ sorry you've had all your trouble for nothing, Sir." - -But the Commander-in-Chief ran away, snorting; and when he got outside -he took off his moustaches and whacked his hand with them; which he -always did in a passion. - - -And that evening he sulked so after tea, that the King got up in a -rage, and after pouring the dominoes over his head, shouted, - -"Look here! I'm sick o you. You grow older and horrider every day. -Go to Abroad!" And he marched to the door. - -Then St Jack sat very tight in his chair, and said, - -"What ye mean?" - -So the King threw his crown into the corner, and roared, - -"The sack--that's what I mean!" and he held the door open. - -Then Jacky went out in a terrible rage, the King's toe behind him. - - - -41 - -And after that, Summer came. - -And Baby always said she liked Summer best, because of you know why. - -And she lived in the garden all day in a flap-hat and gauntlets, and -messed, and loved it. - -And the Junior Subaltern lived there with her in a coat of many colours -and a white hat, and white shoes, and a little sash round his waist, -and ate things. - - -And he loved Baby in a pink and proper way. And Baby loved him to love -her, and taught him, so that he became almost like a little man. - -And the Junior Subaltern was easier to teach than Tiny, because of -younger and squashier. But though he learned quickest, he forgot -quickest too--which is often the way. So it really came about to about -the same in the end. - -But when the Junior Subaltern was there, Tiny walked by himself at the -other end of the garden with his back rather turned. - -And because he was full of unkindness he too began to grow old. - -And he became more and more like a common man from Abroad for the time -being, and less and less like a native of That Country. - - -Then one day when Baby saw Tiny alone by himself like so, she put her -finger to her lip, and said to herself out loud, - -"I wonder why?" - -Then the Junior Subaltern whispered, - -"Because of about my umpiring him out at cricket, I spect." - -So Baby nodded and said, - -"Probly praps. Go and make it up. I turn my back." And she stooped -with her kitten on her shoulder and gardened a flower. - -Then the Junior Subaltern went. - -But Tiny, when he saw him coming, only turned his back more than ever, -and walked away, very proud and pokery. - -Only when he got round the hollyhocks, where Baby couldn't see, all of -a sudden he stopped and bumped backwards into the Junior Subaltern. -And when Tiny felt the bump, he whispered skew-wise out of the corner -of his mouth, very fierce, - -"What ye mean by it?" - -So the Junior Subaltern answered, - -"By what?" - -Then Tiny whispered fiercer than ever, - -"Don't answer me, Sir! or I'll put you under arrest or something--you -ugh!" and he pretended sick over the flower-bed. - -But when the Junior Subaltern heard about you ugh! which is pretty well -the worst you can say in That Country, and saw what Tiny was pretending -over the flower-bed, he turned pale under the pink, and came up close, -and whispered, - -"May I be so good as to ask you to splain yourself, Sir?" - -Then Tiny answered very short, - -"No, ye mayn't," which was a very favourite saying of his. - -Then the Junior Subaltern trembled, and answered rather hubbly-bubbly, - -"I shan't love _you_ any more, Captain Tiny." - -But Tiny just smacked the heads off Baby's flowers, and answered, - -"Don't then. Duncare." - -So the Junior Subaltern bowed up and down to Tiny's back, and strutted -away, all puffed up like a little pouty pigeon, never to return till -next day. - -But when Baby looked up from gardening the flower, and saw the bristles -at the back of the Junior Subaltern's head as he marched away, she ran -to Tiny, and dug his ribs with the trowel, and said, - -"What you been doing to my nice boy, pig?" - -Then Tiny bent and gardened a weed, and grumbled, - -"Only nothin." - -But Baby dug him some more, and said, - -"O you have!--look at the look of the back of his neck." - -So Tiny came up from the weed rather red and sulky, and said, - -"Only been teachin the boy manners--that's all." - -Then Baby said, - -"Well, I wish you'd leave teaching him to me," and she took Tiny's arm, -and walked him up and down the grass-walk, with the dial at one end, -and the herb-border on either side, all sweet in the evening, and -taught him till he came good and nice and like you ought to be, if you -are to live in That Country. - - -And next morning on his way down to the Fort, Tiny tapped at little old -Lollypop's lattice, and said, - -"Good-morning, kind Lollypop. Some red currants, please." - -Then Lollypop came out in a sun-bonnet; and her face was all wrinkles -and redness like an old crab-apple; and she picked some currants, and -did them up in a bag, and wiped her hands on her apron, and gave them -to Tiny, saying, - -"There, young gentleman!" - -And Tiny gave her his penny pocket-money Baby had given him before he -went out, for it was Saturday; and ran on down to the Fort with the bag. - -And when he got there he shared the currants with the Junior Subaltern -on parade, when the Colonel had his back turned, which he had mostly -always. - - -And after that Tiny and the Junior Subaltern became better friends than -ever till next time, which you do in that Army. - - - -42 - -Meanwhile Jacky had gone down to the market, and taken off his -Commander-in-Chief's clothes in public there, and sold them to the -Junior Subaltern's mother; who laid them away in a drawer for her son, -ready for Commander-in-Chief in days to come. - -And after that, Jacky swore by little Marwy, who was supposed to be -dying, that he would have his ride on Goliath, or leave That Country. - -Then he went into hiding in the Wood, and sent round a message by Cooey -to say he wasn't there. - -But that afternoon as the Boy rode by with the Colonel and the gull on -the way to the Pond, he saw Jacky squatting in a hole he'd dug in the -ground. - -And Jacky was rolling a bit of paper between his fingers, and spying -over his shoulder, to see if he was being seen. For he knew very well -that what he was doing was dead against the rules of That Country. But -he was going from bad to worst so fast that he cared for nothing very -much now. - -Indeed he was said to have said that, next to a ride, his great wish -was to be like a man from Abroad. - - -Then the Boy, now he knew where Jacky was, lay awake all night with -Goly, planning a booby-trap. And old Goly entered into it with all his -might: for he loved the Boy, because they had jokes together; and hated -Jacky, because of fat beast. - -So next day they started out of the Fort together, the Boy riding with -his red parasol up to attract attention. - -And they went past the Wood, where they could see Jacky quite plainly, -hiding up an elder bush, disguised as a cannibal. And he was holding -something between his lips. And when he saw them he took it out of his -mouth, and held it up in his fingers, and puffed: for he was pretty -well dead to all shame now. - -But they paid no heed, and strolled on instead. - -Then when they got to the Pond they stopped. - -And Goly went to sleep with one eye wide, and his back to the Wood. - -And he stood with his trunk a tiny bit _retroussé_, and his tail the -least leetle bit out towards the Wood to tempt Jacky. - -And Jacky was tempted. - -For after about a bit out he crawled in his disguise, and crept up on -his hands and knees, and swarmed up Goly by the tail, and threw the Boy -down after not much of a tussle; while Goly just stood still and -chuckled. - -And when Jacky had done dancing and screaming, - -"There! There! I told you I would! I told you I would! ha! ha! ha! -Who's won now? Who's won now?" he sat down across Goly for his ride. - -And he dug his heels in, and bobbed up and down, to pretend he was -rising in stirrups, and went with his arms like he'd seen men on -horse-back, and cried in a bass-voice, - -"Gee up, fat beast! gee up!" and slapped with his hands. - -So Goly winked one eyelid, and went for a little bit of a canter round -the Pond. - -Then Jacky, who wasn't much of a horseman at the best of times, -sprawled on Goly's back, gasping, - -"I'm having my ride! I'm having my ride. O, I say!--Isn't it j-j-just -lubly?" which was quite a lie, for he hated it, because of the bumpety -bump. - -So he was just going to slither off when Goly shyed with a skip and a -squeal, and landed plump in the Pond. - -And when the waves had gone down a bit, all you could see was the tip -of Goly's trunk, and the top of his back showing above water like a -little black island with a shipwrecked cannibal on it, screaming for -help. - -But there was no help to be had: for the Boy, as soon as he could walk -for laughing, tottered back to the Fort, to tell the Fellows! - -So the Fellows all came across the Common arm in arm to see. Only the -Colonel didn't come, because of too kind. Besides he was sitting up -with little Marwy, who was supposed to be dying of a broken heart, -because of her mother's grave. - -And when the Fellows saw Jacky stranded on Goly's back, they just sat -down together round the Pond in a ring, and roared. - -And Tiny tossed to and fro, and wiped the tears away, and said, - -"Sense me, won't you!--It does make me laff so--you so cosy and comfie -out there, Royal King of your own little island, and likely to stay -there, for ever so far as I can see. E! E! E! Master Jacky. E! E! -E!" - -And all the Fellows tossed to and fro, and said in a sort of chorus, - -"E! E! E! Master Jacky. E! E! E!" - -So they just sat round all that afternoon and evening, and tumbled up -against each other with laughing. - -But about dusk, Tiny stood up, and said he'd been asked to say a few -words. - -So they stopped laughing; and there was silence. And Tiny soaped his -hands, and lectured, and simplee loved it. - -And he said pretty well what Baby had often said to him, only altered a -bit, and went on about how Jacky's conduct had grieved him; and how -wrong it was to be spiteful and bear malice; and how it not only hurt -other people, but it hurt yourself most, because it soured your nature. -And if Jacky couldn't be kind and loving then he had better leave That -Country. And if he would neither be good, nor go, then they must put -him out, for they had found him out now. - -And after that he lifted his hand and forgave Jacky on behalf of -himself and Baby, and the Regiment, and said he would now say goodnight. - -So he bowed up and down, and the Fellows rose, and bowed up and down. -Then they all went back across the Common in the dusk arm in arm. - -And Jacky was left alone on his island. - -But about midnight Goliath knelt down suddenly. - -Then Jacky would have been drowned, but that he was washed ashore in -the surgings that arose. - -[Illustration: SWAGGERED OFF TO ABROAD] - -And after that Goliath rose and waded out; and the Boy, who was waiting -on the bank, dried him with his handkerchief, and got on; and they went -back to the Fort at a good round trot. - - -But Jacky, when he had changed out of his cannibal clothes, swaggered -off to Abroad, in a new suit, smoking a cigarette. - - - - -[Illustration: Book VIII headpiece] - - - - -BOOK VIII.--A SURPRISE-PRESENT FOR BABY - - -43 - -Then about next day the good old doctor rode over from the Castle very -mysteriously, and asked to see Baby. - -And when he had shut the door, and drawn his chair up very close, he -told her in a whisper there was a Surprise-present coming for her from -the King at the Castle; only she wasn't to tell any one, because it was -a secret. - -Then Baby opened her eyes, and whispered, - -"Mayn't I know?" - -But the good old doctor chuckled, - -"Certainly not, my dear. You may guess--if you can," and he got up to -go. - -Then Baby got up too, and asked, - -"When may I know?" - -So the doctor answered, - -"About to-morrow," and went out, chuckling. - -But Baby stayed behind in the window, and guessed and guessed. - -Then all of a sudden her heart leaped up; and she blushed and trembled -so that she had to sit down. - - - -44 - -So all the rest of the day she sat under the elm, very busy, making -secret little clothes, that nobody was supposed to know anything about. - -But of course mannikin must leave his daisies, and come and poke and -pry and bother with questions, until at last Baby got up and took him -by his little hand, and led him back to his hole, saying, - -"You're a very naughty little man indeed. And I'm very cross with -you--very cross." - -But mannikin only swaggered along at her side, nodding his head very -wisely, and saying, - -"I know--I know," which was a very favourite saying of mannikin's. - -But Baby answered very short, - -"I'm sure you don't," and locked him in good and tight for the rest of -the day. - - -And that evening when Tiny came back from the Fort, Baby hid the little -clothes away, and walked about on his arm, talking poetry-talk in the -twilight among the roses; and she didn't say one word about the secret. - -But Tiny saw there was something up all the same. And when he went to -tidy up the boot-hole for the night, mannikin came to him in tears, and -begged him to get Baby to forgive him, and to say he promised not to -mention one word about the little clothes. - -And when Tiny heard about the little clothes, he thought, - -"_Now_ I know!" and went pale all over with excitement. - -For at that time every year, the good King sends a Surprise-present to -the best married girl of That Country: for that is one of the rules. - -And the Surprise-present is always the same, and so jolly you can't -think. - -So every nice married girl wants to win it; only you can't unless you -have been truly good and loving. - -And Tiny knew Baby was best by far; and he believed the King knew it -too. - -For as he was leaving the Fort that afternoon, he had seen the King -whispering in the Colonel's ear behind the water-butt. - -And when the Colonel heard, he hopped up high, crying, - -"Dear old Baby!" - -And the Colonel was Baby's great friend. - - - -45 - -But Tiny didn't say one word to Baby all the same, but just gave her -mannikin's message instead. - -Then Baby cried, - -"O poor little chap!--I _clean_ forgot him," and she ran to the -boot-hole. - -And when she got there she heard a tiny little noise inside. - -So she undid and peeped. - -And there was mannikin sobbing in a heap in the corner. - -Then Baby cried, - -"Why?" - -But mannikin only sobbed, - -"Becob you're cross." - -So Baby ran to him, and said, - -"Dear little mannikin!--It's nothing--only you mustn't bother with -questions just now about things you can't understand." - -And she sat down, and took him on her lap, and comforted him. - -And mannikin leaned his head on her shoulder, and said, very sniffy, - -"Lub me," for he was a sentimental little thing. - -And he told Baby about his home in a cottage in the Forest far away, -where he used to live with his old mother, and little lame sister, and -the tortoise-shell cat, till the King came and took him. - -And when he told about that, he began to cry again. - -Then Baby jigged him a bit, and said, - -"Now I'll tell you a secret the Queen told me last time she came round -with the butter.--The King is going to let you out soon now, because at -all events you _try_ to be good. There!" - -And when mannikin heard that, he sniffed and said, - -"Gobblessim." - -And after that Baby tied an empty reel to a thread, and gave it him. - -And he quite cheered up, and bobbed the reel, and twinkled his eyes, -and said he a little fisherman, trying to catch a Surprise-present for -being so truly good and loving. - - - -46 - -Next morning, as Tiny entered the Fort, all the Fellows came rushing -out from the shed, shouting, - -"Well done, Baby!--Good luck to you both!" for it usually leaks out who -has won the Surprise-present for the year, before it is stuck up on the -Castle-door. - -Then Tiny stopped and said, - -"But you don't _know_." - -So all the Fellows crowded round, and they answered, - -"No, we don't _know_. But the Queen got talking to the Junior -Subaltern when he went to the Castle for his glass of milk this -morning. So we next door to know." - -Just then the dear old Colonel came up with Moses on his shoulder, and -little Marwy, who had quite recovered from her broken heart, trotting -behind. - -And he stopped and patted Tiny on the back, saying, - -"Ah, my dear boy!--I believe I have to congratulate you." - -Then Tiny blushed and answered, - -"Well, Sir, we've heard nothing from the King as yet. Still--we hope." - -So the Colonel nodded very wisely and said, - -"Well, we shall see what we shall see." - -And he passed on to Sunday-school: for the Colonel always attended -himself, and tried to get the Fellows to come too; only they always had -sore throats or something, and couldn't. - - -Then Tiny ran home, quite sure now. - - - -47 - -And when he got there he found a white paper pinned on to the door, -saying, - - -_I have gone to my room to wait. Don't come._ - - -So Tiny waited down below all day. - -But towards evening, he crept up, and peeped. - -And there was Baby waiting by the window, nursing her pussy-kitten. - -And as she nursed, she sang, - - "Hushaby, - Hushaby, - Here at twilight, - Waiting, I, - Sweet-contented, - Know not why-- - Hushaby, - Hushaby." - - -Then Tiny put his finger to his lips, and stole away without a word. - -But Baby waited at the window, looking East. - - - -48 - -Then at dusk the good old doctor came from the Castle with a basket on -his arm. - -And the basket was full of lovely little Stars of Bethlehem, which -flower about then in That Country. - -And on the basket was a label written in the King's hand, - - _Baby - from - The King - because - She Is - so truly - Good and Loving._ - - -Then the old doctor went up the stairs in the dusk very quietly. - -And he knocked at Baby's door and entered, the little Stars of -Bethlehem shining white about him, as he went. - - - -49 - -Then after about a bit he came downstairs smiling, the basket empty -now, only for the bulrushes that had lined it. - -And he came out to where Tiny was holding his white cob, and said, - -"Ha, my boy!--what d'you think I've brought for you?" - -Then Tiny trembled and said, - -"What, Sir?" - -So the good old doctor answered, - -"Go to Baby's room; and you'll see." And he climbed on to his cob, and -jogged away, chuckling. - - -And the kitten walked after him down the drive with its tail up tight. - - - -50 - -Then Tiny came to Baby's door and knocked. - -But there came no answer. - -So he went in. - -And within all was still and twilight. - -[Illustration: WITHIN ALL WAS STILL AND TWILIGHT] - -And the only light came from the Stars of Bethlehem strewn about the -floor. - -And in the middle of these kneeled Baby, rocking to and fro with -something in her arms. - -And when Tiny came in, she looked up; and he could see her eyes shining -in the dusk. - -Then Tiny came to her upon his toes, and kneeled beside her. - -And he laid his lips to her ear, and whispered, "Mother." - - -Then they kissed each other and It. - - - -AMEN - - - -[Illustration: Chapter VIII Tailpiece] - - - - -ON THE STORY THAT GOES ON FOR EVER - -So this story ends the same as all other stories that ever were -written, and that is happily. - -And really there is only one Story, and it is the best Story in the -world; but it is not finished yet, and never will be. - -And this Story grows better and better all the time, which is how we -know it from the written stories that we read. - -But it is told in bits, so that unless we're sort of in the secret, we -may mistake it for a lot of little stories, all separate, and all -telling against each other. - -Yet all the little bits fit in together at the end most perfectly; and -not one word is wasted, although it seems as if there would be -thousands; to say nothing of bad spellings, and erasures, and great -blots of ink and tears. - -And it is the same end always, and always a happy end. - -For no story really ends sadly for the very good reason that it can't. - -For Love is Love, and in the end end of all Love must win. - - -So after we have finished our bit of the Story, and our friends have -read it, and scribbled on the blank space at the bottom, - - THE END: - HE WAS A SINNER-- - - -And after they have whispered about us in public, and the ladies have -gone behind their handkerchieves, and said, - -"We must hope for the best, and expect the worst," and the men have -yawned and said, - -"Ah, well--De mortuis nil nisi bonum," which means--"He was the Devil's -darling from his youth up, and I always told you so." - -We need not mind so very much; for it may be that we have done better -than we thought; and it is certain that while the world knows nothing -of our aim, of our failure it knows more than all. - -Moreover let us remember to our comfort that after that dead - -END, - -which seems to wind us up so blankly, there is always a - -BEYOND. - - -And the strange thing about that Beyond is that it is really no Beyond -at all: it is There all the time; but we can hardly see it for the -rather odd reason that we are too close. - -And this Beyond that is always There is the real Story, if we only knew -it. - -What we read is only foot-notes at the bottom of the page to explain -the real Story. - -But because our eyes are so close to the page, and because the page is -so very large, we often only see the foot-notes, which are most -interesting of themselves. - -Then sometimes we deny that the page is there, saying the foot-notes -are all, which is rather foolish: for what is the good of Notes on -Nothing? - - -And a man who buries his nose in the Notes, and tries to read the -writing by smelling it, is a sinner; and _he_ usually knows a lot about -nothing. - -And a man who holds his eyes close to the page, and pries into the -Notes, is a scientist; and _he_ usually knows a lot about the Notes, -and nothing about the Story, which the Notes are on. - -And a man who stands back a bit, and says he can read the whole thing, -Notes and all, and explain it easily, is a Philosopher; and _he_ -usually knows a little about both Notes and Story. - -And a man who stands still further back, and looks at the Story very -quietly, and tells truly all he sees, without trying to explain it, is -a Poet; and he usually knows a lot about both Notes and Story. - -And this Beyond that is always There is always the same, and is always -a Love-story. - -And we are characters in this Love-story, and walk for ever through its -pages. - -But if we walk apart by ourselves, rather proud and puffed up, saying -that it isn't a real Story, and that we don't belong to it, and will -take no part, then we lose all the interest. - -For that comes from joining in, and feeling that we are characters in -the Story, and must help it along by helping the other characters. - -While if we enter in, then we very soon find out that it is the best -Story in the world, and that if we will, we can be little heroes, and -play our part, and win in the end quite splendidly. - -_Then_ it becomes exciting. - -And once we have joined in, we find oddly enough that as we grow older -we grow younger, until at length we become as little children, happy -all the time, our work our play, our life a Song of Innocence, not -unlike the natives of That Country. - - - - * * * * * - - - - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Redcoat Captain, by Alfred Ollivant - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK REDCOAT CAPTAIN *** - -***** This file should be named 54575-8.txt or 54575-8.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/4/5/7/54575/ - -Produced by Al Haines -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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