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The Project Gutenberg E-text of Redcoat Captain, by Alfred Ollivant
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<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 54575 ***</div>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-front"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-front.jpg" alt="ON THE WAY TO THAT COUNTRY" />
<br />
ON THE WAY TO THAT COUNTRY
</p>
<h1>
<br /><br />
REDCOAT CAPTAIN
</h1>
<p class="t3b">
A STORY OF
<br />
THAT COUNTRY
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p class="t3">
BY
<br />
ALFRED OLLIVANT
</p>
<p class="t4">
AUTHOR OF "BOB, SON OF BATTLE," ETC.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3">
ILLUMINATED BY GRAHAM ROBERTSON
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3">
New York
THE MACMILLAN COMPANY
LONDON: JOHN MURRAY
1907
</p>
<p class="t4">
<i>All rights reserved</i>
</p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t4">
COPYRIGHT, 1907,
BY THE MACMILLAN COMPANY.
</p>
<p class="t4">
Set up and electrotyped. Published September, 1907.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t4">
Norwood Press
J. S. Cushing & Co.—Berwick & Smith Co.
Norwood, Mass., U.S.A.
</p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t2">
REDCOAT CAPTAIN
</p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-001"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-001.jpg" alt="Book I headpiece" />
<br />
Book I headpiece
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p><a id="chap01"></a></p>
<h3>
BOOK I.—TINY TAKES COSY COTTAGE
</h3>
<p><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
1
</p>
<p>
So, after waiting faithfully for days and
days and days, they agreed they could wait
no longer.
</p>
<p>
He was a Redcoat Captain in the Army
of That Country: she was the daughter of
the merry lady who lived among rooks.
</p>
<p>
His had jolly little curls all over, with
blue eyes under: hers was chestnut, with
grey eyes like clouds in a lake.
</p>
<p>
She was between ten and twenty: he was
a little more.
</p>
<p>
He was so tall that the Fellows called
him Tiny: her name was Mabel, so they
called her Baby.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
2
</p>
<p>
So Tiny came to the Fort on the Hill
where the sun used to set; and it was noon.
</p>
<p>
And the Fort was a round wall with
a barrack-square inside. And through a
hole in the wall a great cannon of artillery
peeped out over the country to keep Them
down: for They were always supposed to
be there, though nobody had ever seen
Them.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny climbed in through the
cannon-hole, and on to the barrack-square,
where nobody was now only the back-view
of Goliath, the elephant, whisking his tail
in the stable, while the Boy, who saw to
him, slept among his feet.
</p>
<p>
So Tiny walked across the square in the
sun till he came to a door in the dark of the
wall. And on the door was painted in white
letters
</p>
<p class="t3">
O G R E
</p>
<p class="noindent">
which the Fellows said meant,
</p>
<p class="t3">
Old General Roast End,
</p>
<p class="noindent">
but it really meant,
</p>
<p class="t3">
Officers' Grub Royal Elephants,
</p>
<p class="noindent">
which was the name of the Regiment.
</p>
<p>
And the Regiment was so named by
order of the King because that pleased old
Goly, so that he trampled less at night,
when the Fellows wanted to sleep.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny knocked at the door and went
in.
</p>
<p>
And the room had crossed sugar-sticks
on the wall, and a row of bottles full of
little black and white marbly balls on the
mantel-piece, and over them a great motto,
</p>
<p class="t3">
<i>Every Bull's Eye has its billet.</i>
</p>
<p>
And in one corner was a pile of painted
india-rubber cannon-balls. And there was
a huge fire roaring, though it was summer.
And before the fire stood the General, with
his hands behind him, sucking something
and warming himself.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny shut the door, and began,
</p>
<p>
"I am Tiny; and I am going to marry
Baby. How long will I stop in this hole,
because about taking a house to put Baby
in?"
</p>
<p>
So the General bent towards his boots;
and his head shone; and his boots shone;
and he bulged over the fire; and he said,
</p>
<p>
"I am Sir Goodall Grouse, and a Major-General.
I had ought to be a full General
if I had me rights—only they cheat so."
</p>
<p>
Then he bowed himself straight; and he
was very red and tight; and he shot his
neck till the veins swelled, and he shouted,
</p>
<p>
"And I don't care who knows it."
</p>
<p>
So Tiny, who knew Generals, pretended
sad, and shook his head, and answered,
</p>
<p>
"When we go out to war, Sir, we always
say that if only Sir Goodall came and did it,
it wouldn't be a war at all, to call one, it
would be a walk-over."
</p>
<p>
And when the General heard that, he
sat down and said,
</p>
<p>
"You are a very promisin young officer
<i>indeed</i>!" And he made a bump in his
cheek with his tongue, and wrote upon
the blotting-paper for ten minutes most
industriously,
</p>
<p>
<i>Captain Tiny to be reccomended for promotion:</i>
</p>
<p>
Then he turned to Tiny and rubbed his
hands and said,
</p>
<p>
"And now what will you allow me for
to do for you?" And the clerk was so
astonished that he poked in to see.
</p>
<p>
So Tiny told for the second time.
</p>
<p>
Then the General rolled the quid of toffee
in his cheek very wisely, and he wrinkled,
and said,
</p>
<p>
"Well. You will probly stop here for
all time, and certainly for years and years.
And you may take that on the word of
Sir Goodall Grouse, who never told a lie,
cause he couldn't think of one to tell." And
he blew out his chest so a button flew, and
shouted, "And what's more, I should ought
to be a full General if I had me rights—and
I don't care who knows it!" And he
thumped the blotting-paper till it shook.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny winked to himself and said
inside,
</p>
<p>
"Hang your rights, Old Roast End!"
but outside he said,
</p>
<p>
"Thank you, Sir. Now I feel a lot
better."
</p>
<p>
And he saluted and went out, meek as a
mouse; but directly he got outside he took
to his legs and raced across the square,
shouting and singing because of Baby and the
house where he would keep her for years
and years while he trained her how to be a
soldier's wife.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And about next day Sir Goodall retired,
because he said the Service didn't leave him
time enough to roast himself.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And that is about all about Sir Goodall
for now.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
3
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny came upon his toes very merry
to the place where the Fellows fed between
sleeps.
</p>
<p>
And it was a great sort of shed under
a thatch, with walls of whitewash sploshed
with blood to encourage them on.
</p>
<p>
And when Tiny got there they were all
feeding and complaining about A B C and
D, which you have to pass for promotion in
That Army.
</p>
<p>
For it appeared that the Commander-in-Chief
at the Castle had just sent over
word by Cooey, the carrier-pigeon, to say
that they must all learn down to E now, or
leave That Country.
</p>
<p>
And <i>he</i> said it was because that was what
they did in Willie-Land; but <i>they</i> said it was
because of spite.
</p>
<p>
For it was well known that the
Commander-in-Chief's great ambition was a ride
on Goliath. And the night before he had
come and tried to climb on by stealth while
Goly slept. But old Goly woke up in the
middle and trod on his toe instead.
</p>
<p>
So the Commander-in-Chief had limped
back to the Castle with his hump up. And
because he had a curiously nasty nature,
and bore malice a lot, he now sent word by
Cooey to say that they must choose between
E and exile.
</p>
<p>
And it is usually considered the greatest
misery that can happen to you to be sent
out of That Country.
</p>
<p>
For That Country is the
Land-where-you-never-grow-old—so long, that is, as you
are good and loving.
</p>
<p>
Indeed, if you live truly, you grow younger
all the time, although your hair turns grey
just the same as in Abroad. And when
you are so young and so happy that you
can bear it no more, then you die.
</p>
<p>
But directly you begin to go bad, you
grow old. And then the right place for you
is Abroad, where all the common people live,
and grow horrider and horrider every day,
and never die.
</p>
<p>
So naturally everybody born in That
Country wants to live there all the time,
except when they have to go away to Moonland
for one month after marriage: for that
is one of the rules.
</p>
<p>
But if you are not good and loving, then
they turn you out, when they find out about
you, which they very often don't for a long
time, because they are so sweet and simple.
And you are supposed to hate nobody in
That Country; but if you do, then you try
to sort of cuckoo him out by working under
him with your wings.
</p>
<p>
And that was what the Commander-in-Chief,
sitting in the Castle-tower, with his
toe in a bandage, plotted in his own secret
mind to do to the Regiment, because of
Goliath.
</p>
<p>
For the Commander-in-Chief was a real
villain, and already growing old.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
4
</p>
<p>
So all the Fellows were sitting round
feeding, and abusing the Commander-in-Chief.
</p>
<p>
But the Junior Subaltern, who was rosy
and plump, was saying nothing: for he
wasn't allowed an opinion.
</p>
<p>
So he was eating most instead—as usual.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny sat down apart, and ate jam
out of a spoon, and smiled.
</p>
<p>
But the Junior Subaltern peeped from
behind a pink fairy-book, which he read
with one hand, while he ate with the other,
and when he saw Tiny's smile, he said a
bit bitterly,
</p>
<p>
"I know. It's because it's strawberry.
They keep <i>me</i> on plum."
</p>
<p>
But the one next him, who was long
and yellow, held his cup with both hands,
and bubbled into it as he drank, and
said,
</p>
<p>
"No. It's because he thought old Roast
End was going to tell him off a treat. But
Tiny tickled him, so he told off the other
fellow who hadn't done it. I wish I could
tickle like Tiny. It all seems so damb
unfair," and he began to cry.
</p>
<p>
But the one next him, who was big and
brown, said nothing outside, but inside he
said,
</p>
<p>
"No. It's because of Baby." And he
knew, for he was to be best man, and give
Tiny away when the time came.
</p>
<p>
Then a Captain without medals rose.
And he was black but uncomely. And he
bowed up and down to the Mountain and
said,
</p>
<p>
"I am going to Where-George-is."
</p>
<p>
But when the Junior Subaltern heard
that, he peeped out again, and cried,
</p>
<p>
"Is that because of the Commander-in-Chief
and E? You <i>are</i> a lucky dog. I
would too if I could afford it."
</p>
<p>
Then the black Captain looked at the
Junior Subaltern; and there was a great
hush. And at last the black Captain shot
his neck suddenly, and spouted,
</p>
<p>
"Might I be so good as to ask you not
to speak till you're spoken to?"
</p>
<p>
And all the Fellows said in a sort of
chorus,
</p>
<p>
"Might I be so good, etc.?"
</p>
<p>
But the Junior Subaltern went back
behind the fairy-book and ate a lot more,
and muttered. And when he had quite
done both, he rose and went to where the
Boy was sliding down Goliath by the tail
and told him off a treat.
</p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-012"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-012.jpg" alt="THE BOY WAS SLIDING DOWN GOLIATH" />
<br />
THE BOY WAS SLIDING DOWN GOLIATH
</p>
<p>
But the Boy brought up at the bottom,
bump, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Why?"
</p>
<p>
So the Junior Subaltern shot his neck
as well as he could, which wasn't very well,
because he hadn't much experience yet, and
he answered,
</p>
<p>
"Because I've nobody to tell off only you,
because I'm Junior. Damb!"
</p>
<p>
So that showed the Junior Subaltern was
learning soldier, which is to shoot your
neck and say damb in That Country.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
But the black Captain stood where he
was, very proud and plucky, because he
had done his duty, and it was a pleasure,
too; and he said,
</p>
<p>
"And now some more about George!"
and he chucked his chest, although it had
no medals on it, and went on,
</p>
<p>
"I am George's cousin; only George
doesn't like me to talk about it. So George
is going to make a little war for me in
Where-George-is, and I am to go and get
killed or a medal; and either way I will be
worthier to be George's cousin."
</p>
<p>
And when they heard that they went on
feeding and complaining as before.
</p>
<p>
Then the black Captain, after a reproachful
look, came towards Tiny.
</p>
<p>
But Tiny rattled with his feet on the
floor, and screamed.
</p>
<p>
"Go way! go way! go way!—I don't
want to talk about George or George's
cousin—much obliged all the same thank
you no though. George can talk about
himself plenty without me, and so can his
cousin. How d'you do? Good-bye!" And
he shoved back his chair.
</p>
<p>
But the black Captain held him down
very firmly by the legs, and said,
</p>
<p>
"You never want to talk about anybody
but yourself, seems to me."
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny turned more Christian, and
replied,
</p>
<p>
"You see, I'm so much more interestiner
than you are, old chap. Matter of fact
I don't want to talk about anybody; I just
want to go to sleep, and think about a
friend of mine," which was Baby.
</p>
<p>
Then the Captain shoved closer and
whispered, because of the Fellows,
</p>
<p>
"It is because of your friend that I began
about going to Where-George-is. For I have
a friend of my own, to whom I am married.
And you know her well, because you used
to come and talk secrets at tea to her about
your friend, when you didn't think she was
going to be your friend at all but the
Commander-in-Chief's from the Castle. But the
King measured your legs to be half an inch
the longest, so you won. And I have reason
to believe," said the black Captain very
cautiously, "that you used to cry together
about it, you and my friend."
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny said,
</p>
<p>
"Oh go on, Pompey, go on!" but he
blushed all over all the same.
</p>
<p>
So the black Captain hid his face behind
his fingers, and looked at Tiny through
them, for that is what you do when they
blush, if you are a gentleman, in That
Country: for that is one of the rules.
</p>
<p>
And when Tiny said after about a bit,
</p>
<p>
"Better now, thank you," the black
Captain took his hand away, and went on,
</p>
<p>
"And I live in Cosy Cottage with my
friend. And it is on the edge of the
Common—you know!—where the gorse is, and
the Pond, and the oldest donkey in the
world nodding off to sleep under a thorn.
And just over the way is the old yew with
little Marwy's mother's grave close by. And
in front is the Fort on the Hill, all handy,
so the Fellows can wave to you when you sit
in the garden in shirt-sleeves with Baby on
Sunday evenings in the summer. And round
the corner is the Castle, with the
Commander-in-Chief at the window plotting
mischief against you, because of Baby, and
against the Regiment, because of Goliath.
Only it don't matter to me one pin what he
plots; in fact I rather like it," said the black
Captain, who was a selfish fellow, and really
rather like a common man from Abroad,
"because I'm going away to Where-George-is,
my friend and me are. But we can't
take Cosy Cottage, so you shall have it."
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny's eyes shone, and he said,
</p>
<p>
"And may we <i>really</i> have it for love?"
</p>
<p>
Then the black Captain wetted his lips
with the tip of his tongue, and nodded, and
whispered,
</p>
<p>
"For love—and a leetle money, please."
</p>
<p>
So Tiny gave him some out of his trouser-pocket.
</p>
<p>
Then they shook hands so that all the
Fellows thought it was a fight, and ran up
to help.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And after that the black Captain went
away with his friend, arm in arm over the
Mountain to Where-George-is.
</p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-018"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-018.jpg" alt="COOEY! COOEY!" />
<br />
COOEY! COOEY!
</p>
<p>
And there the band plays day and night,
seven years without ceasing,
</p>
<p class="t3">
<i>God save our gracious George.</i>
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And George sits all day in his mail-cart
under the palm, and bows his head, and
says,
</p>
<p>
"A-a-men."
</p>
<p>
Only the King isn't supposed to know
about that, because it's his tune really.
</p>
<p>
And the black Captain became so very
distinguished an officer that at last he was
allowed to pick the things off the floor when
Georgie threw them there in a pet, because
the band sent in to ask if they might change
the tune.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And that is about all about the black
Captain and George for now.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
5
</p>
<p>
But Tiny took a pencil, and wrote to Baby
on scribbling paper,
</p>
<p>
<i>Come quicks-you-can see cosy cottage I have
bought a bargain to put you in and don't bring
mother unless you mustn't come without, because
of long walks so tirin for her.</i>
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then he ran down the Hill, and across the
Bridge, and into the Wood, and called,
</p>
<p>
"Cooey! Cooey!"
</p>
<p>
Then Cooey came from his fir, with splashing
wings; and Tiny tied the writing beneath
his wing, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Baby," and pointed.
</p>
<p>
So Cooey flashed away through the wood:
for Cooey takes all the quick messages in
That Country.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then Tiny trotted back to the Fort, and
took off his red coat, and put on his sailor
suit, and went for a ride on the Common
on Goliath, with the dear old Colonel, who
thought nice of everybody, in the other
pannier.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
But the Commander-in-Chief stood at the
window in the Castle-tower, and looked down
darkly.
</p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p><a id="chap02"></a></p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-023"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-023.jpg" alt="Book II headpiece" />
<br />
Book II headpiece
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<h3>
BOOK II.—TINY MARRIES BABY
</h3>
<p><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
6
</p>
<p>
So Cooey sped with the writing to where
Baby was.
</p>
<p>
And Baby lived with her mother in the
Hall under elms.
</p>
<p>
And she was in the garden in gauntlets
messing, when Cooey fluttered down about
her head.
</p>
<p>
And when Baby heard him, she stood up,
and held out her wrist, calling,
</p>
<p>
"Something for me, Cooey?" And she
pulled off her gauntlets, and took the writing
from under Cooey's wing, as he perched, and
read it, while Cooey sidled and fluttered, till
he came to her shoulder. And there he laid
his bill against her cheek, and began to love
her, very murmury.
</p>
<p>
But Baby, when she had read the writing,
skipped, and cried,
</p>
<p>
"Three cheers!" and ran in to her mother,
who sat with her back turned in a room with
great windows and a shiny floor, and wrote
round, chuckling.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby poked in and cried,
</p>
<p>
"Good-bye, mum. I am going to see Cosy
Cottage that Tiny has taken to keep me in.
And we will be alone by ourselves together,
Tiny and me, till nightfall. Then p'r'aps I
come home."
</p>
<p>
But when Baby's mother, who was round
and jolly, heard that, she went thin all over,
and she turned round from her writing, and
cried,
</p>
<p>
"Oh, Baby, <i>please</i>!"
</p>
<p>
So they sat down and argued.
</p>
<p>
And Baby, who always wanted to know,
said,
</p>
<p>
"Why?"
</p>
<p>
Then Baby's mother answered with her
foot down,
</p>
<p>
"Because of mustn't be alone by
yourselves together yet, you and Tiny!"
</p>
<p>
But Baby, who <i>would</i> argue, only said,
very dogged,
</p>
<p>
"Why?"
</p>
<p>
So Baby's mother said twelve times,
</p>
<p>
"Because of things."
</p>
<p>
Then Baby turned in her toes, and inside
she said,
</p>
<p>
"Rot!" but outside she said nothing.
</p>
<p>
And when Baby's mother, who was quite
pale on account of it all, saw that, she said,
</p>
<p>
"In my young days," which was a very
favourite saying of Baby's mother.
</p>
<p>
But Baby only turned in her toes till her
feet were almost straight sideways, for she
had heard <i>that</i> before.
</p>
<p>
So Baby's mother, when she saw that,
said nothing, and just folded her hands
instead: for she knew what Baby's toes
meant.
</p>
<p>
But Baby, directly she saw her mother's
hands, began to unturn her toes, and she
said,
</p>
<p>
"Of course just as you like, Mother."
</p>
<p>
For it is with girls like it is with horses:
when you pull at them, they pull at you,
hut directly you let go, they come back
to you.
</p>
<p>
And that is pretty well the same with
everybody. So long as you say "Shan't,"
they say "Shall," but when you say nothing,
and just sit and look sad, then they come
and kiss you. For we all know somehow
though we don't quite know how, that Will
is one thing and Love is another; and Will
is strong, but Love is stronger; and you
can often get your way by Love when you
can't by Will.
</p>
<p>
Then when Baby's mother heard what
Baby said, she began to go round again,
and sighed,
</p>
<p>
"Oh, thank you, Baby."
</p>
<p>
So Baby unturned her toes some more,
and said,
</p>
<p>
"Of course I shall like you to come with
me, Mother—if it won't tire you," which
was quite a lie, but not one to count.
</p>
<p>
So Baby's mother answered rather weepy,
</p>
<p>
"Very sorry, Baby. I'm sure I don't
want to be a spoil-sport. Only I must
consider things," and she got out her
handkerchief.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby turned her toes quite out,
and she rose, and ran, and cried,
</p>
<p>
"Darling old thing!" and hugged her up.
</p>
<p>
So Baby's mother began to chuckle again;
and she put on her bonnet and Baby her boa;
and they started down the lane together, arm
in arm: for everybody lives only a few miles
off in That Country: so you never go by
train except to Moonland.
</p>
<p>
And it is all country in That Country,
only for the Town on the Tumble-down Hill:
for all the nice things happen in the country;
and it is mostly all nice in this story—except
the Commander-in-Chief.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
7
</p>
<p>
And at the bottom of the lane there was
Tiny riding backwards and forwards on the
swing-gate.
</p>
<p>
But when he saw them he jumped down
and ran and waved; and Baby waved and
ran. Only when they came where they met,
they went shy suddenly, and turned their
backs instead.
</p>
<p>
Then a jackdaw on the sign-post said,
</p>
<p>
"Chuck! chuck! chuck!"
</p>
<p>
And when Baby heard that, she turned
her back still more, and blushed. So Tiny
who had seen out of his corner-eye, went
behind his fingers, to show he knew all
about manners.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby's mother plodded up with her
skirts in her hands, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Very sorry, Tiny. Only I must—because
of things."
</p>
<p>
But Tiny only went astonished and answered,
</p>
<p>
"Oh, but we specially wanted you—didn't
we, Baby?" which was quite a lie.
</p>
<p>
So Baby cheered up, and hopped, and
cried,
</p>
<p>
"Course we did."
</p>
<p>
Then Baby's mother said,
</p>
<p>
"Oh, you are dears about it."
</p>
<p>
So they just loved her, because she was
such a jolly good old mother.
</p>
<p>
And after that they all took arms, and
walked across the Common with the oldest
donkey in the world, nodding off to sleep
under a thorn, almost as old.
</p>
<p>
And when Baby saw the donkey she ran,
and patted him, and called to Tiny,
</p>
<p>
"Has he got a name?"
</p>
<p>
So Tiny answered,
</p>
<p>
"Yes; Methuselah."
</p>
<p>
Then Baby skipped back, crying,
</p>
<p>
"Is that <i>your</i> name?"
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny, after a bit of a struggle, for he
did want to lie and get the glory, told the
truth rather grumpily, and said,
</p>
<p>
"No—the Colonel's."
</p>
<p>
For the Colonel is allowed to do all the
christening in that Regiment: for that is one
of the rules. And Goliath, the elephant, was
one of his; and so was little Marwy, the
regimental baa-lamb.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then Tiny, and Baby, and Baby's mother
came to the Village.
</p>
<p>
And the Village was made up of Cosy
Cottage, and the red pillar-box opposite; and
that is all: for the villages are just a nice size
in That Country.
</p>
<p>
And Cosy Cottage looked delicious under
creepers, with sparrows chattering. And it
was long, and low, and grey, and not unlike
Methuselah, with a rather broken-back look,
and one crooked chimney for ear. And there
was one window behind and two before, with
a porch between, and roses sprawling over
all.
</p>
<p>
And in front was a little grass garden,
with a lilac and a yew hedge round, and a
gate made of paling into the road; and at
the back a tiny yard and a boot-hole[<a id="chap02fn1text"></a><a href="#chap02fn1">1</a>] like
a box.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p class="footnote">
<a id="chap02fn1"></a>
[<a href="#chap02fn1text">1</a>] A boot-hole is a little place where you clean boots.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And it belonged to the King, as all the
houses do in That Country, because that
saves trouble; and it went with the Fort on
the Hill.
</p>
<p>
And when Baby saw that, she hopped, and
whispered,
</p>
<p>
"Oh, Mother!" because she loved it so.
</p>
<p>
And baby's mother chuckled and said,
</p>
<p>
"Yes, you <i>are</i> a lucky child."
</p>
<p>
But Tiny said nothing, and took all the
glory instead, which was rather a favourite
thing of Tiny's, and quite a lie; for he'd done
nothing for it.
</p>
<p>
All the same it was very curious that when
Baby was with Tiny he told the truth on the
whole much more, and kept all his lies for the
Fellows.
</p>
<p>
And the more he was with her the more
truth he told: so that it almost looked as
though, if he went on long enough, he would
never tell a lie, to call one, any more. And
that is what they call Influence.
</p>
<p>
And nobody knows quite what Influence is,
but it's what women do.
</p>
<p>
So you see it's rather jolly to be a
woman, because if you're a man you can't,
though you think you can, because of
conceit.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then they led Baby's mother into the
house. And after they had fed her, they
took her and put her on a little chair in a
quiet cupboard by herself, and locked her in;
and she was to be good-and-go-to-sleep till
they came for her.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And that pleased Baby's mother so that
she smiled.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
8
</p>
<p>
Then Baby yelled and ran upstairs; and
Tiny yelled, and ran after her; till they came
to the topmost stair of all. And Baby put
her head out and cried,
</p>
<p>
"I say! this is tip-top!" which was a very
favourite saying of Baby's.
</p>
<p>
And Tiny came up behind her and murmured,
</p>
<p>
"This is tip-topper!" for lovers are lovers
just the same in That Country, only nicer.
</p>
<p>
So Baby went with her arms, and squealed,
</p>
<p>
"Tiny! Tinee!"
</p>
<p>
Then she ran downstairs as hard as she
could pelt; and Tiny ran after her, as hard
as he could pelt.
</p>
<p>
And Baby's mother, who couldn't be
good-and-go-to-sleep because of the racket, woke
up, and climbed out of the cupboard, and
ran after Tiny as hard as she could pelt.
</p>
<p>
So they all ran after each other till they
came to the bottom-most stair of all.
</p>
<p>
Then they all climbed on to chairs and
sat around the front-window and spied.
</p>
<p>
And by the old yew there was the Colonel
taking little Marwy to see her mother's
grave, which he did every evening, dear
man.
</p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-034"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-034.jpg" alt="WHICH HE DID EVERY EVENING" />
<br />
WHICH HE DID EVERY EVENING
</p>
<p>
And on the Hill there was the Junior
Subaltern with a huge slice of cake in his
mouth scribbling E all over the blank of
the Fort wall to show he could do it; for
the Junior Subaltern was like a lot more, he
wanted everybody to know he was cleverer
than they were. Only when they saw they
kicked him instead, which was rather
depressing for him after all his trouble.
</p>
<p>
And on the Common there was the Boy
giving Goliath a real old galumphing gallop
round the Pond to take it out of him; only
old Goly, who was a bit of a rogue, took
it out of the Boy instead; which was rather
a favourite thing of Goly's.
</p>
<p>
Then they took their chairs and ran, and
sat round the back-window, and spied.
</p>
<p>
And by craning out they could see the
Castle round the corner.
</p>
<p>
And there stood the Commander-in-Chief
at the window, biting his thumbs, and
watching Goliath.
</p>
<p>
And when he saw their heads, he shook
his fist, and muttered.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby's mother said,
</p>
<p>
"Oh my dear!" and shuddered, and came in.
</p>
<p>
And Baby cried,
</p>
<p>
"Pig!" and laughed; still she came in too.
</p>
<p>
But Tiny shouted,
</p>
<p>
"Pooh! think I'm afraid of you!" and
leaned his neck out all the further, and
cocked a snook back.
</p>
<p>
But Baby pulled him in quick by the
trousers, because of his career, and hoped
the Commander-in-Chief hadn't seen.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And after that Baby fussed off into the
kitchen; and they fussed after her, and
sat on the dresser, and watched.
</p>
<p>
And Baby opened a little black door where
the chimney ended in a hole, and looked in
very cunning.
</p>
<p>
And after about a bit she slammed the
little black door, and made a face with her
nose, and said,
</p>
<p>
"I don't think much of this thing," to
show how sly she was.
</p>
<p>
But Tiny sat on the dresser, with Baby's
mother, and pointed his finger at Baby,
and said,
</p>
<p>
"Don't believe you know one word about
it, Baby."
</p>
<p>
So Baby turned her nose up and her eyes
down, and replied,
</p>
<p>
"That's all <i>you</i> know, Mr Tiny!"
</p>
<p>
And she said to her mother,
</p>
<p>
"I know a jolly lot, don't I, Mum?"
</p>
<p>
And Baby's mother chuckled all over, and
said pat,
</p>
<p>
"Not <i>one</i> word, Baby."
</p>
<p>
Then Baby ran at her and cried,
</p>
<p>
"Oh, Mother!" and hugged her; and
Tiny hugged them both.
</p>
<p>
And after that they all sat on the
dresser, and held hands, and swung legs,
and sang,
</p>
<p class="t3">
<i>Three Blind Mice</i><br />
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
9
</p>
<p>
So Tiny and Baby were married in the
dear old Church on the Tumble-down Hill
in the Town, while the King in his crown
rang the bell in the belfry; which was always
his little job.
</p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-038"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-038.jpg" alt="WHICH WAS ALWAYS HIS LITTLE JOB" />
<br />
WHICH WAS ALWAYS HIS LITTLE JOB
</p>
<p>
And Tiny and Baby truly believed that
it was the only wedding that had ever
been since the world began; only it wasn't
though.
</p>
<p>
And Tiny wore his blue suit; and Baby
her clean white frock.
</p>
<p>
And Tiny was rather excited and very
shy; and Baby very excited and rather shy.
</p>
<p>
And everybody was there, only the
Commander-in-Chief; and he sent Cooey with a
writing instead.
</p>
<p>
And Baby's mother sat in the front pew
on the left and cried; and Tiny's mother
in the front pew on the right and cried.
But Tiny's mother cried most, for she cried
<i>all</i> the time; but Baby's mother smiled in
between, and especially when Baby came
up on the arm of the Colonel, her great
friend.
</p>
<p>
And the Fellows lined the aisle with
swords.
</p>
<p>
And they didn't cry, because they had no
tears: they looked silly instead, but not sillier
than the others, of whom there were lots,
besides ladies.
</p>
<p>
And the Junior Subaltern looked silliest
of all because he was so pink; and all the
time going pinker, because of the ladies.
And he did want to marry them all, because
of his kind heart; but he knew he couldn't,
because you mayn't.
</p>
<p>
And when he thought of that he went
quite pale, so that they took him out, and
gave him a drop of lime-juice and water off a
feather in the porch, while the people crept
out to see.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then they all came out of Church.
</p>
<p>
And outside the porch Cooey fluttered
down from the tower with the writing; which
Tiny opened.
</p>
<p>
And it was supposed to be written in blood,
only red ink really: and it ran,
</p>
<p>
<i>I will pay u for your snuk. Cheek!</i>
<br />
<i>St. J.</i>
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then Tiny turned rather pale: for he knew
the Commander-in-Chief never forgot, and
never forgave.
</p>
<p>
But when Baby said,
</p>
<p>
"What is it?" he answered,
</p>
<p>
"Only nothing," which was rather a favourite
saying of his, and quite a lie; but not one
to count.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then they all walked back to the Hall
under the elms; and there was a squash.
</p>
<p>
And everybody came, including the people,
which they may in That Country.
</p>
<p>
And in one room were the presents hung
on to a wedding-tree, with the Boy over them
to see you didn't take any, and Cooey
strutting about the floor at the Colonel's heels,
very proud and puffed up; and in the next
Tiny and Baby stood in a row and shook
hands with everybody, including the Queen,
good old soul, who wiped her hands on her
apron first.
</p>
<p>
And Baby smiled and said,
</p>
<p>
"Thank you <i>so</i> much," about ten thousand
times.
</p>
<p>
And Tiny grinned and said,
</p>
<p>
"I'm sure we shall," about the same.
</p>
<p>
Only when the Junior Subaltern's turn
came, he could think of nothing to say, so he
looked foolish, instead.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby gave him the nicest smile of
all, and inside she said,
</p>
<p>
"I will be a mother to this boy."
</p>
<p>
But outside she said,
</p>
<p>
"Thank you <i>so</i> much."
</p>
<p>
Then the Junior Subaltern's mouth opened
out, and he answered,
</p>
<p>
"What for?"
</p>
<p>
So some of the Fellows came and took him
away by the arms, though he screamed and
struggled a good lot—as usual.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And after that Tiny and Baby came out of
doors.
</p>
<p>
And the mothers stood on the steps in
the sun, and waved, and cried,
</p>
<p>
"Goobye! Gobblessu! Goobye!"
</p>
<p>
And the people cheered, and shouted,
</p>
<p>
"Pip! pip! pooray!"
</p>
<p>
And the bells rang; and the trees blew;
and Tiny walked away under the elms,
Baby on arm.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
10
</p>
<p>
But the Junior Subaltern burst open the
corn-bin where they had put him for a bit,
and came back to the remains of the squash,
his knickers rather dusty and his hair rough.
</p>
<p>
And because he thought it must be so
very nice, he asked three girls one after the
other, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Will you?"
</p>
<p>
And they looked at him, and replied,
</p>
<p>
"You're mad. No; I won't."
</p>
<p>
So the Junior Subaltern leaned his chin
on his collar, that had thumb-marks all over
it, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Why?"
</p>
<p>
Then the first, who was proper, answered,
</p>
<p>
"Because I'm married already."
</p>
<p>
And the second, who was sound, answered,
"Because I'm your Aunt."
</p>
<p>
And the third, who was neither, cocked
her nose, and answered,
</p>
<p>
"Because of beastly cheek."
</p>
<p>
And when the Junior Subaltern heard
that, he went very tired, and walked home
to his mother.
</p>
<p>
And the Junior Subaltern's mother lived
in a cottage under the sky, with a wood at
the bottom, where the thrushes sang. And
all about you, as you walked in the wood,
was green moss and trunks of trees and
dappled sunshine; and all above you were
leaves with the wind in them like waves
foaming; and beyond that, blue sky where
a lark rippled.
</p>
<p>
But the Junior Subaltern cared for none
of that now, and just sat down with his back
to it all, and ate no dinner to call any for
him, because things were so hard.
</p>
<p>
So his mother sent for the good old doctor,
who came on his cob, and leaned a trumpet
against the Junior Subaltern's chest.
</p>
<p>
Then the Junior Subaltern said faintly,
</p>
<p>
"Are you there?" because he thought it
was a telephone, like they have in Abroad.
</p>
<p>
But the doctor answered,
</p>
<p>
"Say Ah!"
</p>
<p>
So the Junior Subaltern said it,
</p>
<p>
And the Doctor listened down the trumpet
and said,
</p>
<p>
"I hear a guilty conscience."
</p>
<p>
Then the Junior Subaltern sent his mother
out of the room quick to get a second opinion.
</p>
<p>
So his mother went to fetch the vet.
</p>
<p>
Then the Junior Subaltern confessed in
a whisper about the drop of you-know off
the feather in the porch, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Only don't tell mother."
</p>
<p>
Just then his mother tramped back in
muddy boots and said she couldn't find him.
</p>
<p>
So the good old doctor washed his hands
and said it didn't matter; and he dried them
before the fire, and went wise, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Er—I think a little careful regulation
of the diet will set things straight. Er—I
was just telling your son that I should only
drink milk and lots of water in it."
</p>
<p>
Then the Junior Subaltern's mother took
fire, and snapped,
</p>
<p>
"That's all he does drink."
</p>
<p>
But the Junior Subaltern climbed under
the clothes.
</p>
<p>
And when his mother saw that, she wept,
and said,
</p>
<p>
"Why?"
</p>
<p>
So the Junior Subaltern answered from
under the clothes,
</p>
<p>
"Because I must try to get a little sleep
now."
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
But the Commander-in-Chief sat with his
hump in the Castle tower, and planned more
E-vil.
</p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p><a id="chap03"></a></p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-049"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-049.jpg" alt="Book III headpiece" />
<br />
Book III headpiece
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<h3>
BOOK III.—TINY AND BABY IN MOONLAND
</h3>
<p><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
11
</p>
<p>
Tiny came to the Station, Baby on arm.
</p>
<p>
And there the train was waiting with a
white rosette on the puff part.
</p>
<p>
And they got in, and Tiny leaned out,
and shook hands confidentially with the nice
old guard, who locked the door in return,
though there was nobody else to go, only a
milk-can.
</p>
<p>
For it is a private train that goes once a
day loaded with honeymoon couples only, by
order of the King, who is very good and kind,
although he has to be so strict.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny said to the driver,
</p>
<p>
"Moonland, please!" and came in, and
shut all the windows without asking Baby's
leave, and turned up his collar, and sat down
in the cosiest corner, and after a good big
yawn went to sleep: for that is what
you do if you are a man even in That Country.
</p>
<p>
But Baby played with the window-strap
in the corner furthest away, and smiled.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And after that the train went till it could
go no further, because of no more land to
go on.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny woke up in a great fuss: for
Tiny was always either asleep or in a
terrible state; and he poked out and cried,
</p>
<p>
"Good! here we are. Come along, I say!
Come along. <i>Do</i> come along, Ma-bel." And
he climbed down with the bag full of
luggage, and Baby after him with her cage of
canary.
</p>
<p>
And they stood together on the platform,
and looked about them.
</p>
<p>
And it was about morning by now, and the
sky was a sort of grey blank, and the platform
quite bare only for a great label across it that
said in huge letters,
</p>
<p class="t3">
MOONLAND<br />
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And Moonland is a great space with
nothing in it only a green hill, a brown moor,
and in the middle a blue lake supposed to
have a fish in it.
</p>
<p>
And on the edge of the lake is a stodgy
house made of mud and dirt, whitewashed
over, where they let lodgings; only nobody
takes them.
</p>
<p>
And when Baby saw that, she stood on one
leg, and whistled,
</p>
<p>
"I say! <i>do</i> look," because she loved it so.
</p>
<p>
But Tiny, who only really cared about his
food, answered,
</p>
<p>
"Yes, yes, my dear, I know, I know," and
fussed off with the bag, and climbed on
to the box of the cab, because, he said, he
was such friends with the cabman, and began
to whip up the horse, and tug at the reins,
shouting,
</p>
<p>
"Gee-woa! Gee-woa!" for it was one of
Tiny's things that he thought he was very
good at a horse.
</p>
<p>
But the cabman, who was rusty and crusty
in an old top-hat, said,
</p>
<p>
"Leggo, will ye?" and went into Tiny's
wind with his elbow to quiet him.
</p>
<p>
So they drove across the moor, over the
hill, down to the lake, till they came to the
house.
</p>
<p>
And in the window hung a cardboard saying,
</p>
<p>
<i>Lessons, Singing, and Boxing taught here:</i>
for it is a school as well as a lodging; only
no pupils come.
</p>
<p>
And in the porch the landlady was sitting
in curls, playing with her thumbs rather
dumpily.
</p>
<p>
But when Tiny bustled down with the bag,
yelling,
</p>
<p>
"Lodgin' fer two, quick, please!" she
cheered up, and ran round, and cooked a little
cake, and gave it them; only they couldn't
eat it, because of too tough.
</p>
<p>
So they turned their backs, and had
sandwiches out of the bag instead; which was
rather depressing for the landlady after all
her trouble.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
12
</p>
<p>
And after that Tiny and Baby were alone
by themselves together, because they might
be now; which is called honeymoon.
</p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-054"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-054.jpg" alt="ALONE BY THEMSELVES TOGETHER" />
<br />
ALONE BY THEMSELVES TOGETHER
</p>
<p>
And it was Autumn, and jolly.
</p>
<p>
And Baby always said she liked Autumn
best, because she did: for Baby always had
good reasons for everything.
</p>
<p>
And the woods were golden, and the moors
brown, and the sea grey on the edge of
everywhere.
</p>
<p>
And every morning they went out arm
in arm. And when they got outside, Baby
let go of Tiny, and bustled along at a great
pace with her arms swinging, crying,
</p>
<p>
"I go one hundred miles to-day. How
far d'you?"
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny caught her up, and passed her,
and panted,
</p>
<p>
"Twice the same."
</p>
<p>
So Baby said,
</p>
<p>
"Then go. I sit and watch you," and
she sat down plump in a puddle by the edge
of the lake.
</p>
<p>
So Tiny came back, and sat beside her,
and said in her ear,
</p>
<p>
"Why d'you lie so, Baby?"
</p>
<p>
But Baby only hugged her knees, and
giggled,
</p>
<p>
"Because I don't."
</p>
<p>
And after that it poured; and they sat
all day in a puddle in the rain, by the edge
of the lake, and simplee loved it.
</p>
<p>
And when Baby felt the rain on her face,
she cried,
</p>
<p>
"Isn't rain jolly?—I like it better than
anything only fine."
</p>
<p>
But Tiny only aimed both eyes so they
met at the end of his nose, where a
raindrop was, and he shot his tongue, and curled
it up tight, and took the drop off on the tip.
</p>
<p>
And when Baby saw that, she threw back,
and roared, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Oh, Tiny! you are a little raskil! pomme-word
you are!"
</p>
<p>
But Tiny only waggled his shoulders, and
bubbled his eyes, and did it again to a new
drop.
</p>
<p>
And that is all they said and did, because
that is all you've got to say and do.
</p>
<p>
Only when a pi-looking person squelched
by in goloshers, they wound round, and
lifted up their faces, and screamed together,
</p>
<p class="poem">
"Two ittle tots<br />
On the spwee-wee-wee,<br />
Out of the<br />
Nurser-wee-wee,<br />
Two and anover<br />
Make thwee-wee-wee,<br />
So come you and join you<br />
With we, we, we."<br />
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
But the pi person only stopped, and
looked through her spectacles, and said
pretty severely,
</p>
<p>
"I thank you—no!"
</p>
<p>
And she tramped on under her umbrella,
with her skirts hitched high.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
13
</p>
<p>
Then one day it stopped raining. So they
set out one behind the other very secretly to
explore the moor.
</p>
<p>
And they found great pools, and tiny fairy
water-falls, and water-slides shooting over
green rocks. And Baby wanted to take her
clothes off and go in, but Tiny said he'd tell
if she did.
</p>
<p>
So in the end Baby went in with her
clothes on, and loved it; and Baby called
that an accident, which was quite a lie.
</p>
<p>
And after that they found the two loveliest
mountain-ferns there are, called the beech
and the oak fern; at least Baby found the
ferns, while Tiny steamed on in front in a
perspiration, calling,
</p>
<p>
"Come on! come on! Else we shall
never get there."
</p>
<p>
For Tiny always wanted to get somewhere,
he didn't know quite where, only
that it was just on in front. But when
he got as far as in front, he always
found it was a little further, and so on etc.
</p>
<p>
Then they climbed the hill.
</p>
<p>
And when they got to the top there was
a great wind there, and the sky blown clear,
with the sea flashing far away beneath, and
white seagulls floating and screaming between
them and it.
</p>
<p>
And Baby was rosy with wind, and her
hair splendid in the sun, and little tresses
wild about her face, and she bowed and
gleamed and yelled,
</p>
<p>
"I say, Tiny! Isn't it simplee tip-up-top?"
</p>
<p>
But Tiny only bent, and held her up
against the wind into the sun, and looked,
and looked.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then they came down the hill, and home
across the moor by the edge of the lake.
</p>
<p>
And it began to be night. And the wind
went down, and the moon rose up. And
the moor was black as ink, and the moon
white as silver, and the sky shining like a
diamond.
</p>
<p>
And a large great ghost-owl swooped about
them on wavy wings, as they tipped along
on their toes.
</p>
<p>
And Baby held Tiny's little finger and
whispered,
</p>
<p>
"Oh, Tiny."
</p>
<p>
And Tiny held Baby's, and whispered,
</p>
<p>
"Oh, Baby."
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
So they crept into the house; and up the
stairs in the dark; and to bed by a star;
and a little hushaby wind rocked them to
sleep.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
14
</p>
<p>
But Baby and Tiny weren't really so idle
as they made out; because all the time Baby
taught Tiny.
</p>
<p>
And she taught Tiny jolly well, although
only between ten and twenty.
</p>
<p>
And <i>really</i> Baby was years and years
older than Tiny, though <i>truly</i> she was years
and years younger.
</p>
<p>
And Baby began Tiny from the very
beginning and taught him up, because that
is best.
</p>
<p>
And she taught him most of the time
<i>without words</i>.
</p>
<p>
And Tiny was pretty clever when he tried,
which he honestly did. And it was wonderful
how quick he picked it up.
</p>
<p>
And really Tiny had learnt it all before
from his mother in the nursery, only he
thought he'd forgotten it. But when Baby
began to teach him, it all came back quick.
So that made it easy for Baby to teach, and
for Tiny to learn.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby, when she found how well
grounded Tiny had been, sat in a white
frock, with chestnut hair, and wrote to
Tiny's mother a thank-you-for-my-nice-husband
letter, which you do in That Country
after the first month, if you find him
satisfactory.
</p>
<p>
And Tiny's mother was so pleased when
she got the letter that she cried.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And Tiny's mother lived by the willow
near the bridge. And when the wind blew
the willow turned white. And Tiny's mother
when she lay in bed could just see the top
branches black in the moon as they stirred
to and fro. And whenever she woke she
could hear the wind in the willow tree, like
the rustle of angels; and at the back of the
rustle was the groaning of ghosts under the
bridge.
</p>
<p>
But the rustle of angels went on always
and always; and the groaning of ghosts
only at times.
</p>
<p>
And that is like things as they really are:
for Love goes on for ever, but Pain only at
times—just enough to remind you.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
So Baby taught Tiny. And at last she got
him so far that he even learnt to stand on
the rug, with his hands behind him, and say,
</p>
<p>
"Sorry," when he should, which was
mostly always.
</p>
<p>
So that showed a good come on: for Tiny
was like a lot more, he never said Sorry
when he could say anything else.
</p>
<p>
But Baby was in the wrong herself sometimes.
</p>
<p>
And when she was in the wrong, Tiny
was in the right. And that pleased Tiny;
but it made Baby mad. For Baby wanted
to be right all the time always herself, and
nobody else; only she couldn't, because you
can't: for that's how things aren't.
</p>
<p>
So she went under a cloud instead; and
there was no more sun for Tiny for that
time.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny nursed Baby to win the sun
back. And when he had nursed her till
he was about dead, she forgave him for
being in the right, and took him back; and
the sun came out again.
</p>
<p>
And after that Baby sat upon him very
pleasantly, while they sang the Sorry Song
they had made, which goes,
</p>
<p class="poem">
"When you've been naughty, when you've done wrong,<br />
When you've been sulky instead of a song,<br />
When you've been stubbin, and think you've been strong,<br />
Then be a good girl and say Sorry—<br />
</p>
<p class="poem">
<i>I'll be a good girl and say Sorry.</i><br />
</p>
<p class="poem">
"When you have said something sounds like a swear,<br />
When you have been in a jolly old tear,<br />
When you've behaved like a beast of a bear,<br />
Then be a good boy and say Sorry—<br />
</p>
<p class="poem">
<i>I'll be a good boy and say Sorry.</i><br />
</p>
<p class="poem">
"When we are sad and yet remain dry,<br />
When we feel sort of we wish we could die,<br />
Perhaps we'd be better, perhaps we could cry,<br />
If we'd only be good and say Sorry—<br />
</p>
<p class="poem">
<i>We'll be good boy-and-girl and say Sorry."</i><br />
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then Tiny hugged Baby; and Baby
squealed; and the landlady ran like a
lightning pudding, and looked in.
</p>
<p>
And when she saw, that pleased the landlady,
so that she smiled.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
15
</p>
<p>
So some time went by.
</p>
<p>
Then one evening after tea, as Tiny lay flat
in a fat chair with his legs out, and slept
aloud, which he always did till bedtime, when
he woke up very spry and wanted to lecture
on his favourite subject, Baby came in with
a secret smile and the great picture alphabet-book
she had given him for wedding-present
under her arm.
</p>
<p>
But directly Tiny saw the book, he held
tight to the chair with his arms, and kicked
towards Baby with both feet, and screamed,
</p>
<p>
"I won't! I won't! I won't!"
</p>
<p>
But Baby put the book on the table, and
a little straight-up thin chair by it, and called
very bright and firm,
</p>
<p>
"Now, Tiny."
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny pretended asleep louder than
ever, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Wharisit? wharamarrer?"
</p>
<p>
So Baby said,
</p>
<p>
"To work up E for promotion."
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny whimpered through his nose,
</p>
<p>
"Tiny don't want. Tiny tired," which was
quite a lie.
</p>
<p>
But Baby only smiled and said,
</p>
<p>
"Tiny must. Else I won't be married to Tiny."
</p>
<p>
So Tiny climbed out of the fat chair, and
lowered himself on the thin one, saying rather
tearfully,
</p>
<p>
"I don't care. I don't think it's fair. I
take you on my honey-moon with me, and
all you do in return is to make me sit up
and swank." And he slammed the book
about a bit.
</p>
<p>
But Baby paid no heed, because it's best
not, when they're like that: for when they see
you take no notice, they soon get over it.
</p>
<p>
So she just climbed into her chair instead
and ate her bread and milk, and watched Tiny
over it, working away at E straight up at the
table.
</p>
<p>
And after about a bit Baby leaned over and
took the book away, and said,
</p>
<p>
"And now try."
</p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-066"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-066.jpg" alt="AND TOOK THE BOOK AWAY" />
<br />
AND TOOK THE BOOK AWAY
</p>
<p>
So Tiny came out of his hands, and shut
his eyes, and opened his mouth, and said very
slow,
</p>
<p class="poem">
"E was an Elephant ever so Big<br />
Danced on a Beer-barrel jig-a-jig-jig."<br />
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then Baby hammered the table with her
spoon, and cried,
</p>
<p>
"All correct. Well done, Tiny-boy. Very
well said indeed, indeed."
</p>
<p>
But Tiny asked with his eye-brows, and
prayed with his hands,
</p>
<p>
"Enough for one night, Baby?"
</p>
<p>
So Baby went back to her bread-and-milk,
and said,
</p>
<p>
"Very well, then. Some more to-morrow,
though, because of the Commander-in-Chief."
</p>
<p>
But Tiny answered,
</p>
<p>
"Good time now; bad time never," which
was rather a favourite saying of his.
</p>
<p>
And he got up from the thin chair, and
fainted away in the fat one, murmuring,
</p>
<p class="poem">
"Tiny, sleep a lirel longer,<br />
Till the lirel limbs are stronger,<br />
Sleep, my lirel one, sleep, my prery one,<br />
Sleep."<br />
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
16
</p>
<p>
And about the middle of that very night,
Cooey flew in at the window, with a writing
under his wing; for the windows have to be
open all the time in That Country: for that
is one of the rules; and you have to keep the
rules everywhere always just the same—else
you suffer; which is Law.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny sat up in bed, and read the
writing by the moon; while Cooey perched
on Baby's shoulder, as she slept, and crooned
to her.
</p>
<p>
And the writing ran in a great blob hand
like a baby's,
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
<i>Come back at once. Cowud. Leaving it all
to me to do. And I never would have believed
it of u. This is one for your snuk. There is
Goliuf to pay for yet.</i>
</p>
<p>
<i>The Hon. St Jack-Assquire.</i>
</p>
<p>
<i>P.S.—I am getting ready a nice supprize
for u and the Redgment.</i>
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then Tiny shut his eyes, and folded his
hands very piously, and said a lot of things
low to himself.
</p>
<p>
And after that he scribbled on the back of
the writing,
</p>
<p>
"Charmed, I'm shaw," and gave it Cooey,
who splashed out of the window with it.
</p>
<p>
And when the splashing of Cooey's wings
had died away, Tiny got up, and bent over
Baby as she slept and whispered in her ear,
</p>
<p>
"Good-bye, Baby. Now I go home."
</p>
<p>
Then Baby woke up quick, and stood up
on her elbows in bed, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Why?"
</p>
<p>
So Tiny answered,
</p>
<p>
"Because I have had enough for now,
thank-you," for he didn't want to frighten
Baby; and he sat on the edge of the bed, and
got into his sock.
</p>
<p>
And when that was done, he took up the
bag full of luggage, and the canary by the
cage, for Baby had taught him how to carry
both now, and trotted downstairs with them.
</p>
<p>
But Baby crept up to the landlady's door
on tip-toe, so as not to disturb her—for they
had grown to love the landlady, because she
was so good and fat—and shoved a note of
paper under the crack.
</p>
<p>
And on it outside was,
</p>
<p class="t3">
With love<br />
from<br />
Baby and Tiny.<br />
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And in it inside was a sixpenny, which was
a penny more than they owed her, so that
she could retire on it if she liked.
</p>
<p>
Which she did.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
17
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny and Baby went out of doors
into the dusk.
</p>
<p>
And one moist star was stuck over the top
of the hill, which looked like a black tent
against a grey sheet: for the sun was going
to get up soon.
</p>
<p>
And on the top of the hill under the star
was a little madman waving both arms, which
he always did, when he thought he saw the
sun, to tell the people time to get up.
</p>
<p>
Only sometimes he made a mistake, and it
was the moon instead.
</p>
<p>
Then the people all went back to bed, and
were cross, and gave it the little madman
when he came down from the hill at midday
for his bun.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
So Tiny and Baby walked away over the
moor in the white of the dawn, arm in arm,
back to That Country.
</p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p><a id="chap04"></a></p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-073"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-073.jpg" alt="Book IV headpiece" />
<br />
Book IV headpiece
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<h3>
BOOK IV.—TINY AND BABY GO HOME
</h3>
<p><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
18
</p>
<p>
So Tiny and Baby came back to That
Country, and staid with the mothers, one
hour with each mother: for that is one of the
rules.
</p>
<p>
And when they were gone, each mother
sat down all day in the table in the window
in the sun, and wrote round: four sheets
to everybody, four hundred sheets in all.
</p>
<p>
And Baby's mother chuckled, because she
was so happy; and <i>she</i> thumped her envelope
with her fist: but Tiny's mother cried,
because she loved that best; and she
smoothed hers with the flat of her hand.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
19
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny went down the Tumbledown
Hill to the Town, Baby on arm.
</p>
<p>
And the Town is an old ancient street
with the Church on one side, and the
Inn on the other, and the Policeman
between; and that is all: for it is only a
country town, although the capital of That
Country.
</p>
<p>
And at the back of the Inn is the market
with pens inside a wall.
</p>
<p>
And there the people come every Thursday
to sell their things.
</p>
<p>
And when Tiny and Baby got there it was
market-day.
</p>
<p>
So all the people were trying to sell their
things to each other.
</p>
<p>
Only everybody wanted to sell, and
nobody to buy; which is often the way.
</p>
<p>
So that made it rather difficult all round.
</p>
<p>
But when Tiny and Baby came in they
stopped arguing, and began to stare instead.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
20
</p>
<p>
And the Queen was there trying to sell
a white moo-calf, because she said she
wanted the money to buy her a bonnet.
</p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-074"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-074.jpg" alt="THE QUEEN WAS THERE" />
<br />
THE QUEEN WAS THERE
</p>
<p>
So everybody came round and pinched
the Queen's calf, though nobody bought it.
</p>
<p>
And when Tiny saw that he went and
pinched it too very shrewdly, saying,
</p>
<p>
"Ha!" and "Hum!" with his hat a bit
on one side: for Tiny didn't want to buy
the Queen's calf himself, but he liked the
Queen to think he did.
</p>
<p>
And the vet was there running up and
down on a string a little rough, round pony
that pattered, trying to sell it, because he
said he'd outgrown it.
</p>
<p>
And when Baby saw how rough and
round the pony was, and how it pattered, she
clapped her hands and cried,
</p>
<p>
"Oh, the duck!" and asked the vet if
she might run it up and down on the string
a bit.
</p>
<p>
And when the vet, who was rather hot
and panty, said,
</p>
<p>
"Suttinly, Miss," she ran it up and down
till she could run no longer; and after that
she went into a corner out of the crowd
with the vet, and gasped,
</p>
<p>
"How much?"
</p>
<p>
So the vet whispered,
</p>
<p>
"I'll leave it to you, Miss, because it's to
a good ome."
</p>
<p>
Then Baby turned her back, and gave
him some out of her sixpenny purse.
</p>
<p>
And she christened the pony Puck, and led
him away by the string.
</p>
<p>
And a little further on the Junior
Subaltern's mother was trollying a little
go-cart about with the King in his crown in
it, to try to sell it, because she said her son
didn't care for it any more.
</p>
<p>
And the King, now he'd had his ride,
said, nor did he, and got down, and, after
taking off his crown very courteously,
bustled off to join in pinching the Queen's
calf; which was rather depressing for the
Junior Subaltern's mother after all her
trouble.
</p>
<p>
But Baby came up with Puck, and
kissed her to comfort her; and after that
she bought the little go-cart out of her penny
purse, which comforted the old lady still
more.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby harnessed Puck to the go-cart,
and tied him by his string to the wall,
while she ran and got Tiny away from the
Queen's calf.
</p>
<p>
And they went round the pens together,
and chose out some things, and some servants.
</p>
<p>
And there were about four things, and three
servants.
</p>
<p>
And one servant said her name was
Phyllis; and she was plump and brisk: but
the Others didn't seem to know what their
names were; and they were dressy and
draggly.
</p>
<p>
And really the Others didn't belong to
That Country, but had got in by mistake
from Abroad, one Bank Holiday.
</p>
<p>
And Baby only took them because they
wanted a home: for you mayn't sleep out in
That Country except in the summer, when
you mayn't sleep in.
</p>
<p>
And people only have one servant in That
Country, except at the Castle, where they
have none: for there the Queen does it all.
</p>
<p>
Then they shoved the things under the seat
of the little cart; and Tiny and Baby got up;
and Baby cracked the whip; and Tiny tugged
the reins; and Puck started off for Cosy
Cottage at a run-away patter; while Phyllis
walked and the Others trailed behind.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And when they got to the Common everything
was exactly as they had left it, with
Methuselah just nodding off to sleep under
the thorn; and by the yew the Colonel standing
with his shako off, and little Marwy on a
string, visiting her mother's grave.
</p>
<p>
For it was about evening by now.
</p>
<p>
And they could see the Fort on the Hill in
the sunset, and some of the Fellows playing
pranky on the wall: while the Junior Subaltern
was hiding behind a buttress, gulping
the sponge-cake they swab out the great
cannon with.
</p>
<p>
And the rooks were cawing home in the
dusk; and the starlings whirred and chirred
among the gorse; and old Goly rolled down
the Hill from the Fort with the letters, the
Boy holding on to his tail, because he said he
would do brake.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And as they came to Cosy Cottage, the
stars came out and shone, and the sparrows
chattered as they went to bed in the creepers.
</p>
<p>
And when Baby saw that she trembled and
whispered,
</p>
<p>
"I say, Tiny!" because she loved it so.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
But round the corner the Commander-in-Chief
waited at the Castle-window.
</p>
<p>
And when he saw them drive up he smiled.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
21
</p>
<p>
Then as they got down, all of a sudden a
merry little voice from the boot-hole began to
sing,
</p>
<p class="poem">
"I'm Master Mischeevous,<br />
My conduct's so grievous,<br />
They've bottled me tight<br />
In a hole—O!<br />
But I laugh—ha! ha! ha!<br />
And I sing—tra-la-la!<br />
For they never can bottle<br />
My soul—O!"<br />
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then Baby clutched Tiny's arm, and
whispered,
</p>
<p>
"Who?"
</p>
<p>
But Tiny only put his finger to his lips,
and led round to the back on his toes. And
there he unlocked the door of the boot-hole,
and whispered,
</p>
<p>
"Look."
</p>
<p>
So Baby peeped round Tiny's shoulder.
</p>
<p>
And there was a dear little brown mannikin,
only so high, with a winky way with
him, who scuttled about on bandy legs, and
nibbled a nut.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby whispered,
</p>
<p>
"Why?"
</p>
<p>
So Tiny answered,
</p>
<p>
"By order of the King."
</p>
<p>
And he told Baby how the mannikin
really belonged to the King, who had taken
him away from home, to try to make a
better mannikin of him, for really he was
so very naughty; and the King has to be
very strict, although he is so good and kind.
</p>
<p>
And the King lent him Tiny (by the secret
advice of the Commander-in-Chief) to spit on
his boots for him. And in return Tiny was
to keep him good and tight in the boot-hole,
only when he let him out for a little
run in the back-yard at dark; which he did
now.
</p>
<p>
And after he had done him up again, he
went and hung the key on the nail in the
kitchen, where it lived.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then Baby and Phyllis went down on
their knees in the parlour and undid the
things.
</p>
<p>
And after they had undone them, they
arranged them round the wall in a row,
while Tiny sat in an easy chair, and made
remarks, which was the best he could do.
</p>
<p>
So after about a bit Baby said,
</p>
<p>
"Now <i>you</i> do some," and she plumped down.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny stood on a chair in the parlour,
and put his thumb against the wall, and
hammered it; while Phyllis stood below
with the picture; and Baby said from the
easy chair,
</p>
<p>
"That's capital."
</p>
<p>
Only it didn't take Tiny quite that way:
for he got off the chair and walked about
the room with his knees up, and corked
his mouth with his thumb, and so on etc.
</p>
<p>
Only when he saw Baby took no notice,
he soon got over it; which is often the way.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And after that Tiny and Baby ran up and
downstairs at the double.
</p>
<p>
And when they got to the top and bottom,
they turned and ran down and up again.
</p>
<p>
And they got in Phyllis's way rather as
she tidied up; but she didn't mind, only so
long as they enjoyed themselves.
</p>
<p>
Then they stood at opposite ends of the
Cottage, and gave the Others contradictory
orders in loud voices.
</p>
<p>
But the Others didn't hear: for they had
paddled out into the back-yard to find out
what it was in the boot-hole screaming and
scampering so.
</p>
<p>
And of course it was mannikin, who,
when he heard them, came to the crack,
and whispered them to undo him, and he
would tell them something secret.
</p>
<p>
So they got the key from the nail, and
undid him.
</p>
<p>
Then mannikin came out into the kitchen,
where he wasn't really allowed, and sat
on the edge of the table, sucking his thumb.
</p>
<p>
So the Others held each other, gasping,
</p>
<p>
"My!" and asked him what the secret was.
</p>
<p>
But mannikin only swung his legs and
said he'd forgotten.
</p>
<p>
Then he heard Phyllis coming and scurried
back to his hole in a terrible fright,
and locked himself in, and shoved the key
under the door.
</p>
<p>
And one of the Others came later and
picked it up, to hang on the nail; only she
forgot—and a good job too.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
22
</p>
<p>
Then after tea Tiny stole out, and round
the corner, and into the Castle by the
back-door, to spy out the Commander-in-Chief,
and the surprise he was getting ready
for the Regiment.
</p>
<p>
And he crept along the passage and
shoved the green-baize door, and peeped
into the hall.
</p>
<p>
And there by the fire sat the King with his
crown cocked over his eyes sound-asleep in
the rocking-chair after the market; while the
Queen churned in the dairy.
</p>
<p>
And in the darkest corner, under a shaded
candle, sat the Commander-in-Chief with his
hump up and his head down and wrote a
letter very secretly.
</p>
<p>
And as Tiny looked, he sealed it with a
black seal, and said with a snigger,
</p>
<p>
"Because of Goliath."
</p>
<p>
Then he rang for the Queen, and gave it
her, saying,
</p>
<p>
"Important—Private—Secret. For Cooey
in the morning."
</p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-086"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-086.jpg" alt="THEN HE RANG FOR THE QUEEN" />
<br />
THEN HE RANG FOR THE QUEEN
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
But Tiny crept home in the dark, with
a little rainy wind in his face, and wondered.
</p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p><a id="chap05"></a></p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-090"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-090.jpg" alt="Book V headpiece" />
<br />
Book V headpiece
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<h3>
BOOK V.—TINY AND BABY QUARREL
</h3>
<p><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
23
</p>
<p>
Next morning Baby woke up very happy,
because she was at home.
</p>
<p>
And she lay and listened to the day
getting up, which was rather a favourite
thing of Baby's.
</p>
<p>
And first the Policeman tramped by in
boots.
</p>
<p>
Then a cock at the farm crew a lot to
say it was dawn, when it wasn't.
</p>
<p>
And after that just as the dark began to
grow dim, a thrush in the lilac under the
window cleared its throat, and began to
shout,
</p>
<p>
"I'm first! I'm first! I'm first!"
</p>
<p>
And that woke a robin in the yew-hedge
which piped,
</p>
<p>
"Cheek! Cheek! Cheek!" and began to
laugh in its little way.
</p>
<p>
Then a rook sailed out to work, groaning,
</p>
<p>
"Aw! aw! aw!" which is rook for
"Oh! oh! oh!" which is short for "Oh dear! oh
dear! oh dear!" for the rook hates work and
loves grumbling.
</p>
<p>
And after that the sparrows began. And as
soon as the sparrows began, the others left off:
for they knew it was no good to go on against
the sparrows; for the sparrows go on for ever.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby got up, and went to the window.
</p>
<p>
And the sun was just up and staring white
through the black of the trees: for it was
about Christmas by now.
</p>
<p>
And the sky shone like a sword. And
great white ice-bergs with shining tops sailed
by behind the Mountain on the border of
That Country. And old Methuselah, his ears
hoary with frost, was trying for some more
sleep under the thorn.
</p>
<p>
And on the eave above the window a starling,
all purple and green and gold in the sun,
was dressing. And as he dressed he was
making all the noises no other bird can make.
For the starling is like a lot more, he never
knows quite what he's going to say himself
till he's said it, only he knows it's never been
said before, and never will be again.
</p>
<p>
Then the sun rose over the wall of the
back-yard, and struck the top of the
boot-hole. And at once mannikin inside began to
sing very merrily,
</p>
<p class="poem">
"I hop in the boot-hole,<br />
As happy can be,<br />
As bold as a robin,<br />
As brisk as the sea,<br />
I chirp like a cricket,<br />
I buzz as a bee<br />
A-swing in the fox-glove,<br />
A-blow on the lea."<br />
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And when Baby heard that she ran and
shook Tiny, who was lying in bed with one
eye out, and the blanket tight round, and she
cried.
</p>
<p>
"Get up, Lazy-bones! get up! get
up!—Everybody's up and busy and merry long
ago only you."
</p>
<p>
And she began to dance about with her
hair down, singing,
</p>
<p>
"O, I say!—Shan't we just be happy
here? happy here? happy here?"
</p>
<p>
But Tiny only groaned, and got up, one
leg at a time.
</p>
<p>
And the first thing he did was to go to the
window, and spy out at the Castle round the
corner, with the frost on the roof.
</p>
<p>
And the first thing he saw was the
Commander-in-Chief stealing out of the back-door
in his bedroom slippers.
</p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-092"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-092.jpg" alt="STEALING OUT IN HIS SLIPPERS" />
<br />
STEALING OUT IN HIS SLIPPERS
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
24
</p>
<p>
And when Tiny saw that, he shivered, and
came in, and didn't have much bath, for
Baby had gone down; but took off his
clothes, and put on his redcoat instead.
</p>
<p>
And soon he forgot all about the
Commander-in-Chief, and stood before the glass a
long long time, and simplee loved it.
</p>
<p>
Then he dragged himself away, and went
downstairs, and did the lamp and the knife,
which was always his little job.
</p>
<p>
And when he had finished that, he walked
to the parlour, rather proud because of
Captain in that Army, rather cold because of sore
thumb and no real sympathy, and rather shy
because of his redcoat, and Baby inside
waiting to tease.
</p>
<p>
So he came to the door.
</p>
<p>
And when Baby saw Tiny in his redcoat,
very tall, and jolly little curls all over, she
thought,
</p>
<p>
"How <i>most</i> beautiful!" Only she didn't
say for fear of bad for Tiny, because she knew
about the glass, for she had peeped.
</p>
<p>
Instead she played with his medals, and
tapped him under the chin, and said,
</p>
<p>
"How <i>most</i> booful!" which was much
better for Tiny.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny went sulky-shy and pulled away.
</p>
<p>
And when Baby saw that she left it, and
went back to the window to watch a little
figure creeping across the Common towards
the Cottage.
</p>
<p>
But directly her back was turned, Tiny
bent and looked at himself some more in
the shiny tea-thing; and that pleased Tiny,
so that he smiled. And the more he looked
the more he was pleased. And the more he
was pleased the more he smiled. And the
more he smiled the more he thought how
<i>very</i> jolly, and <i>what</i> teeth!
</p>
<p>
Then Baby turned. And when she saw
Tiny staring she went up and down and
roared, and said,
</p>
<p>
"O my dear boy!"
</p>
<p>
But Tiny turned his back on the
tea-thing; and he was cross, because he was
found-out.
</p>
<p>
Then he thought of a little lie, and
cheered up, and told it; and it was,
</p>
<p>
"I was looking at the crest."
</p>
<p>
But Baby said,
</p>
<p>
"The crest is the other side, Tiny,"
which was rather depressing for Tiny after
all his trouble.
</p>
<p>
So he went crosser than ever, because he
was found-out twice now.
</p>
<p>
And he took off the bit of plaister that
he had allowed Baby to put on his thumb
last night, and threw it down, and trod on
it, to show he would be master in his own
house.
</p>
<p>
But Baby teased some more and said,
</p>
<p>
"Poor Tiny then! it was a shame, it
was! He shall worship himself, he shall." And
she said that because Tiny had told a
little lie, and she was teaching him. And
Baby didn't often teach by tease, for she
didn't believe in it; but she did this time
because Tiny had lied a little.
</p>
<p>
So Tiny nibbled his nails, because he
knew that would annoy Baby; but he said
nothing, because there was nothing to say.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby went back to the window,
and said inside,
</p>
<p>
"Poor old Tiny! If I was Tiny and
like so," which was very tall and little
curls all over, "I know I'd be the very
same only worse." Only Baby really was
much nicer herself; only she didn't think
so much about it, because of a girl and too
sensible; and Tiny thought about nothing
much else, because of a man and so silly.
But Baby taught him so that he began to
have time to think little bits about other
things too; so that less time went before the
glass; only it was rather hard for Tiny at
first.
</p>
<p>
And when Baby remembered that, she
went up to Tiny, and patted his shoulder,
and said,
</p>
<p>
"There, old boy!"
</p>
<p>
But Tiny went back at her with both
elbows to show he wouldn't be good.
</p>
<p>
And it was very wrong indeed of Tiny;
and he knew that quite well. And the more
he knew it the more ashamed he was. And
the more ashamed he was the more he
wouldn't own up. And the more he wouldn't
the more he wanted to. So it went in a sort
of circle, as it always does.
</p>
<p>
And it was like trying to climb a hill by
running down it. And really a better way is
to stick in your heels, and come up jerk,
and turn, and plod.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby rang the bell to change the
subject.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
25
</p>
<p>
And when the bell went Phyllis collected
the Others, and stood them by the door,
while she ran to get mannikin out of the
boot-hole: for he might come too if he liked.
</p>
<p>
But she found the key wasn't on the nail.
So she ran to the Others in rather a state,
and asked them,
</p>
<p>
Then one of the Others fussed about in her
pocket, and found it, saying,
</p>
<p>
"Well I never!—Now however did it get
there?"
</p>
<p>
So Phyllis answered, pretty sharp,
</p>
<p>
"It got there because you put it there," and
she ran off with the key.
</p>
<p>
But the Others stayed behind, and agreed
secretly to dislike Phyllis.
</p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-100"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-100.jpg" alt="BUT THE OTHERS AGREED TO DISLIKE PHYLLIS" />
<br />
BUT THE OTHERS AGREED TO DISLIKE PHYLLIS
</p>
<p>
Then Phyllis came to the boot-hole, and
unlocked it.
</p>
<p>
And the boot-hole was a dear little place,
very dark and dewy, with bricks for the floor,
and a glass-hole at the top with wire over
it, so he couldn't get out that way.
</p>
<p>
And it was furnished all round the walls
with blacking bottles, and across the middle
with a knife-board done up in red powder
by the King's command, to make it comfie
for him.
</p>
<p>
Then Phyllis tried to collect mannikin;
only he wouldn't be collected.
</p>
<p>
So Phyllis said,
</p>
<p>
"Why?"
</p>
<p>
But mannikin only sat on his hands on
the knife-board, with his back very round,
and said,
</p>
<p>
"Becob I won't," which wasn't a bit like
mannikin, for though he was so mischievous,
he was very merry too mostly always.
</p>
<p>
Then Phyllis answered quite kindly,
</p>
<p>
"Then don't, my dear. I only thought it
would make a little run for you."
</p>
<p>
But mannikin only said quite snappy,
</p>
<p>
"Goodness sake, go 'way."
</p>
<p>
So she went; locking the door behind
her, to keep him good and tight.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And the real truth was that about a
minute back the Commander-in-Chief had
crept into the back-yard in his slippers,
and whispered mannikin through the crack
to tell him where the key was, and he
would let him out to escape. For the
Commander-in-Chief knew that would get
Tiny into an awful row with the King.
</p>
<p>
So mannikin got in a fearful state, and ran
up and down the door, and told the
Commander-in-Chief about the key on the nail
in the kitchen, and to get it <i>quick</i>! goodness
sake <i>quick</i>!
</p>
<p>
Then the Commander-in-Chief crept to the
back-door, disguised as a milk-man, and
peeped into the kitchen. And he found the
nail, but no key on it: for the key was in the
pocket of one of the Others all the time—and
a good job, too.
</p>
<p>
So when the Commander-in-Chief saw he
was disappointed of spiting Tiny that way,
he ran back to the crack, and spat, and
swore most terribly, while poor little mannikin
cuddled away in the corner out of range.
</p>
<p>
And the Commander-in-Chief said he must
report mannikin to the King for trying to
escape, because it was his duty: for the
Commander-in-Chief is head of the Policeman as
well as of the Army in That Country.
</p>
<p>
And he went on about how he would never
have believed it, <i>never</i>; and how disappointed
he was; and how he had hoped, and so on, etc.
</p>
<p>
And now, he said, however much it pained
him, he must tell the King that mannikin
only grew worse and worse, and make His
Majesty promise to keep him tight in the
boot-hole all his life for ever.
</p>
<p>
And after that he pretended to blub a bit
outside the door to show how grieved he was;
and then turned away.
</p>
<p>
So poor mannikin found himself worse off
instead of better, which is often the way, if
you try too much.
</p>
<p>
Only he soon got over it, and began to
sing instead; for mannikin took nothing to
heart very much.
</p>
<p>
But the Commander-in-Chief shuffled away
across the Common in his bedroom slippers,
very busy and bad.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
26
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny grumbled some out of a book.
</p>
<p>
Only he didn't grumble it well: for he
kept one eye on the book, and one eye on
the window, to see if the road was looking
through the blinds.
</p>
<p>
But nobody was, only old Methuselah,
who crossed the road, a foot at a time, and
leaned his head over the gate. And when
he heard what was going on inside, he
closed his eyes, and bowed his head: for
Methuselah was like a lot more, he wanted
people to think he was a deal pi-er than he
really was.
</p>
<p>
Then, when that was done, and Phyllis
and the Others had left the parlour, Tiny just
dumped down and gobbled porridge without
a word.
</p>
<p>
So Baby sat behind the tea-thing and ate
bread without butter, for she didn't feel
hungry. And when Tiny looked at her, and
pretended he hadn't, she looked back at him,
quite kind and true.
</p>
<p>
And when Tiny saw that, he was so
ashamed that he went worse than ever, and
gobbled till everything was all gone: so that
he really had something to grumble about
now; which he did gladly.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby played music on the table
behind the sugar-bowl; and she was rather
white, and rather tired; and she said.
</p>
<p>
"Very sorry, Tiny. Shall I ring for more?"
</p>
<p>
So Tiny snapped,
</p>
<p>
"Yes. No. What you like."
</p>
<p>
And when he had said that, he wanted to
say sorry so bad that he thought he would
unless he left the room.
</p>
<p>
So he got up and went out quick for fear.
And he put on his cap and his cane, and went
out of the front-door, and down the path
joggle with his knees to show don't-care-damb,
which was quite a lie, because he did
care a lot.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby came to the door, and peeped
at his back; and water stood in Baby's eyes;
and she said low,
</p>
<p>
"I'll tidy up, and have everything square
by the time you get back, Tiny."
</p>
<p>
But Tiny just joggled, and pretended
don't-care-damb some more.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby peeped; and her handkerchief
was at her mouth; and she said in a
wee voice,
</p>
<p>
"Back for tea, Tiny?"
</p>
<p>
So Tiny answered,
</p>
<p>
"Dunno," and joggled down the path.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby gasped,
</p>
<p>
"Hope you will, Tiny-boy!" And she
shut the door and ran, because she was taken
blubby bad.
</p>
<p>
And when Tiny heard that, he could not
bear it any more, for you can't if they keep
on at it; and he thought,
</p>
<p>
"You <i>are</i> a darling! I <i>am</i> a cad."
</p>
<p>
And he stopped, and turned, and went back
to the door as though he had his seven
league boots on, to say sorry I'm a cad, which
he truly was.
</p>
<p>
But the door was shut.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny ran up and down on his feet,
and cried at the key-hole,
</p>
<p>
"Lemme in! lemme in! lemme in! O
Baby! I <i>do</i> love you! Truly sorry! lemme
in!"
</p>
<p>
But it was too late then.
</p>
<p>
So Tiny stood outside the door and
wished he hadn't. And that is what
Adam spent his time doing outside the
Gates of Eden. And it is what most of
us spend a lot of time doing when it's too
late. And it very often isn't till you
stand outside and wish you hadn't, that
you know how jolly it was inside, before
you had.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny turned away down the steps
no more joggle now; and he was so sorry
he blew his nose.
</p>
<p>
And Baby heard his nose go from her
room above, and she knew, and thought,
</p>
<p>
"You dear old goose, you!" which was a
very favourite thought of Baby's, and like
Baby to think it just then.
</p>
<p>
And she tipped on her toes in the middle
of the room, and saw Tiny going through
the gate blowing his nose to take the water
out of his eyes. And when she saw that,
she waved to him, only he couldn't see
her, and she didn't want him to, for after
all she was teaching Tiny, and he had
been about as bad as a man can be, which is
pretty bad.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby picked up her skirts, and did
some steps before the looking-glass.
</p>
<p>
And she looked pretty tip-top; only there
was nobody to see her only herself.
</p>
<p>
So she swung round, and stopped before
the glass, and bobbed to herself, and
said,
</p>
<p>
"You're pretty jolly, Miss."
</p>
<p>
Then she remembered Tiny and the
tea-thing, and she roared, and said,
</p>
<p>
"You're far worse than Tiny, my dear
girl!" And she gave a twirl and a skip and
kicked her hand with her foot; and was as
free and happy as a lark because she knew
she had won.
</p>
<p>
And Baby always won over Tiny, because
she always won over herself. And if you
can't win over yourself, you can't expect to
win over other people.
</p>
<p>
And a woman can always win over a man,
so long as the man is decently good, and
so long as she goes by the Big Rule. For
the Big Rule is the same in That Country as
in all others.
</p>
<p>
And the Big Rule is,
</p>
<p class="t3">
<i>Love is Power.</i>
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
27
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny walked across the Common.
</p>
<p>
And the road gleamed before him in the
sun, so that it was like walking on a silver
river; for the frost was oozing out of the
ground, though all under the gorse-bushes
was white still. And the ivy on the beeches
in the Wood at the foot of the Fort-hill shone
till it dazzled, while the beeches themselves
were a cloud of purple.
</p>
<p>
And when Tiny got into the shadow of
the Wood the road was hard again, and rang
to his feet; and all the little pools were
feathered over with ice; and a chaffinch sat
on a bare bough, and pinked.
</p>
<p>
And all that was lovely. Only Tiny didn't
see any of it: for he was so sad inside that
everything was dark to him.
</p>
<p>
But when he had gone by, the
Commander-in-Chief, who had been hiding behind
a beech-trunk, came out, and stood in the
road, with his hands on his knees, and laughed
<i>most</i> horridly.
</p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p><a id="chap06"></a></p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-113"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-113.jpg" alt="Book VI headpiece" />
<br />
Book VI headpiece
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<h3>
BOOK VI.—THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF PAYS FOR GOLIATH
</h3>
<p><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
28
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny climbed up the Hill to the Fort.
</p>
<p>
And there the Fellows were taking down
the wire netting, which they always put round
the wall at dark, in case They should come on
by night: for They were like a lot more, They
were always supposed to be going to do a
heap of things They never did.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny shook hands with the brown
Captain, and kicked the yellow one, and
crawled through the wall by the cannon-hole,
and out on to the barrack-square.
</p>
<p>
And the barrack-square was a sort of blank
desert with cubicles all round; and the Junior
Subaltern was making up the beds inside,
which was always his little job: for the Junior
Subaltern has to do all the things that nobody
else will do in that Regiment.
</p>
<p>
But directly he saw Tiny, he shut up work,
and came across the square, very silly and
sheepish.
</p>
<p>
And the Junior Subaltern walked with his
toes rather turned in. And his knickers were
patched, and his stockings darned: for his
mother was a very careful woman. And his
collar had slipped up the back of his neck, so
that there was a great gap: for his back-button
was off, as usual, although they always put
him under arrest for it whenever they
remembered. But what the Junior Subaltern always
said was,
</p>
<p>
"It's mother—not me."
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then when he got quite close to Tiny, he
looked at his toes, and said in a very little
whisper,
</p>
<p>
"Truly sorry, Tiny."
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny frowned and answered,
</p>
<p>
"I should just think you were. Certainly
you ought to be. And now tell me, what is
it you are sorry for?"
</p>
<p>
So the Junior Subaltern twiddled his toes
over each other, and answered very low,
</p>
<p>
"For you know."
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny said very sternly,
</p>
<p>
"Yes, I know—only I've forgotten."
</p>
<p>
So the Junior Subaltern whispered,
</p>
<p>
"At your wedding."
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny remembered about the drop of
lime-juice off a feather in the porch. And
he wagged his head very sorrowfully and
said,
</p>
<p>
"O dear! O dear! O dear!" And he
walked up and down for a long long time,
with his hands behind him, and his chin on
his chest, groaning, and so on etc.
</p>
<p>
Then at last he stopped, and rolled one eye
at the Junior Subaltern, and said,
</p>
<p>
"I forgive you on condition I may lecture
you for as long as I like. D'you agree?"
</p>
<p>
So the Junior Subaltern answered,
</p>
<p>
"I should like to think it over first, please,"
for he knew what a lecture from Tiny meant.
</p>
<p>
So he turned his back, and dug at a weed
with his toe, while he thought it over.
</p>
<p>
Then after about a bit he muttered pretty
tearfully,
</p>
<p>
"Well, I agree, because there's no other
way. Only goodness sake get it over quick."
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny took him tight by the arm, and
walked him up and down, and up and down,
and gave him the longest lecture that ever
was all about nothing, and simplee loved it.
</p>
<p>
And the Junior Subaltern blew his nose
upside down without a handkerchief, which
you do when you want the tears to go inside
and not out, and said every quarter of an hour,
</p>
<p>
"I say! isn't that bout enough?"
</p>
<p>
But Tiny only answered,
</p>
<p>
"No, thank-you," and went on.
</p>
<p>
So the Junior Subaltern said rather
sulkily,
</p>
<p>
"Well, it's a good long go anyway."
</p>
<p>
Then when Tiny really could not think
of any more, he made the Junior Subaltern
learn by heart the Sorry Song he and Baby
had written in Moonland; and after that he
made him stand on the Fort-wall and sing it;
which he did—not very nicely.
</p>
<p>
And when that was finished, Tiny said,
</p>
<p>
"That'll do for the present, thank-you."
</p>
<p>
So the Junior Subaltern scrambled off the
wall, saying to himself out loud,
</p>
<p>
"Jolly good job too," and ran off to find
the Boy.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
29
</p>
<p>
So Tiny came to the whitewash shed, where
the Fellows were now, eating more and
complaining louder than ever.
</p>
<p>
Then when Tiny had counted them, he said,
</p>
<p>
"But where's the Colonel?"
</p>
<p>
So the brown Captain answered,
</p>
<p>
"In bed—bad with shock."
</p>
<p>
And all the Fellows said in a sort of a
chorus,
</p>
<p>
"Bed—bad with shock."
</p>
<p>
And some said it was one thing; and
some said it was another; and a good lot
said it was neither. But they all agreed
that Cooey had come from the Castle in the
dawn with a writing, and had fluttered up
to the Colonel, who was helping the Boy soap
Goliath; and that after reading the writing
the Colonel had taken to his bed without a
word.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny, who loved the Colonel, because
he was so red and round and thought
nice of everybody, ran up the ladder to the
loft: for the Colonel always lives above the
shed in that Army to be handy.
</p>
<p>
And when Tiny had undone the trap-door,
and peeped through, there lay the dear
old Colonel in bed in the dark corner under
the cobweb, quite quite bald.
</p>
<p>
And his knees were cocked up, and his arms
round them, and his little nose laid on his
knees skew-wise.
</p>
<p>
And he was saying to himself in a weak
voice,
</p>
<p>
"I am the Colonel. I love evewybody,
and evewybody loves me. And evewything's
always as nice as nice can be in our dear
Countwy. Only I've had a bit of a shock—that's all."
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny climbed out on to the floor,
and came towards the corner on his toes.
</p>
<p>
And when the Colonel saw him coming, he
let his knees down, and went back on the
pillow, and said rather faintly,
</p>
<p>
"Ah, my dear dear boy!—how are you?—how's
Baby?" for next to animals, the
Colonel loved Baby best in all the world.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny shook hands and said,
</p>
<p>
"I'm awfully sorry to hear of this,
Sir." And he pulled a truss of straw up
to the bed and sat on it, and said very
gently,
</p>
<p>
"Would you care for me to tell you
about me and Baby and Moonland, Sir?—and
the landlady, and the lake, and the fish
there was supposed to be there, and that?"
</p>
<p>
For Tiny began to understand a little
about illness now: for Baby taught him.
Only he thought he understood a lot more
than he did, which was rather a favourite
thing of Tiny's.
</p>
<p>
But the Colonel shut his eyes, and said,
"Thank-you, my dear boy, thank-you.
Some day I want to hear <i>all</i> about it—not
just now though. Twuth is I've had
wather a shock. So've you, my poor boy.
So've we all. Only p'w'aps it's worse for
you and my little Marwy than for the
others."
</p>
<p>
And he opened his eyes a bit, and said,
"Have you got into Cosy Cottage yet,
you and Baby?"
</p>
<p>
So Tiny cheered up and answered,
"Yes, Sir. We settled in last night,
as jolly as can be. Baby sings all the
time she's so happy."
</p>
<p>
Then the Colonel nodded to and fro,
murmuring,
</p>
<p>
"Ah, my poor boy! my poor Baby!—bad,
bad, bad."
</p>
<p>
Then he wiped his eyes, and picked up a
blue writing that was lying on the bed, and
handed it Tiny, saying,
</p>
<p>
"It's all in there, my poor boy—all in
there. Wead it yourself. I wouldn't have it
otherwise for the world. Still it's wather a
shock—that's all: especially for you and my
little Marwy."
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny took the writing to the dusty
sunbeam that lit the loft through a crack in
the thatch.
</p>
<p>
And the writing was in a great blob hand
that Tiny knew well; and it went,
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
<i>Move to-day, u and the Redgement, and any
more u like, to another Fort if u can find one.
Why? Because I order you—I am</i>
</p>
<p class="noindent">
The Right Honorary St Jack-Assquire,<br />
Own blud brudder to George,<br />
Commander-in-Chief at the Castle now,<br />
And hope to be Royal King one day.<br />
</p>
<p>
<i>P.S.—I send u a midjut of me in my
khaki with what Willie give me on my right
turn. I send it u free, because to show I've
got no grudge against u.... Shew it round.
It shud encurudge recruutin. Send me some
reports on this soon as u know.</i>
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then as Tiny read it through for the second
time, the Colonel said from the bed,
</p>
<p>
"Wather wude—ain't it'?" And he sniffed
a bit. "But there! dear old St Jacky! I
can't help loving the chap—he is so very
stwaight."
</p>
<p>
All the same his mouth began to go, and
he went on rather gaspy,
</p>
<p>
"I don't mind for myself. It's my little
Marwy. Her mother's buried here. I think
it will bweak her h-h-heart." And one tear
went. "And it means a move for you too,
poor fellow. Cosy Cottage goes with the
Fort, you know."
</p>
<p>
And he dabbed and went on,
</p>
<p>
"I wonder what it all means."
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny, who was rather white, answered,
</p>
<p>
"It means spite, Sir," and he told the
Colonel about the Commander-in-Chief's great
ambition, and his attempt on Goliath by night,
and his toe, and so on etc.: for they had not
told the Colonel before, because they always
kept from him anything that would give him
pain.
</p>
<p>
And when he heard that, he said,
</p>
<p>
"I'm disappointed in St Jack—vewy
disappointed. I thought he was a gweat man,"
for he always took everybody at their own
opinion of themselves, which was very sweet
and simple of him.
</p>
<p>
But Tiny tore the writing into little bits,
and put them on the fire; so that it was
like hell for the bits.
</p>
<p>
And he said to himself out loud,
</p>
<p>
"Debbel-debbel-damb-damb," which he
knew quite well he shouldn't.
</p>
<p>
Then he ran across the floor pitter-pat;
and down the ladder to the bottom, bump;
and across the square patter-pit; screaming,
</p>
<p>
"I don't care! I will say!—Debbel-debbel-damb-damb."
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
30
</p>
<p>
So Tiny ran out of the Fort to tell Baby
they must move out of Cosy Cottage at
once, quickly this minute.
</p>
<p>
And a little woolly white dog came out
after him in a great state, and stood on four
legs, and barked till it shook.
</p>
<p>
But Tiny only ran on like lead.
</p>
<p>
So the little woolly white dog pretended
he'd driven him off, and walked across the
road and back very stiff on his toes, to try
to take the cat in. But the cat just sat on
the wall, and blinked instead.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny pounded down the hill with his
heart in his heels.
</p>
<p>
And the hedges on either side looked like
crawly purple caterpillars with grey-green
leper splotches where the privet grew;
and a plump little wren flitted in and out
before him as he ran, mocking; while the
Pond on the Common beneath winked each
time the wind blew, like a leering great eye.
</p>
<p>
And Tiny loathed them all.
</p>
<p>
So he ran across the little Bridge, and
round the Wood, where the beeches flushed
among the grey of the ashes, and across
the Common among the gorse, till he came
to Cosy Cottage.
</p>
<p>
And the sun shone on it; and the sparrows
chirped in the creepers; and mannikin sang
in the boot-hole at the back; and Phyllis was
at the door polishing the knocker; and even
the Others were leaning out of upstairs,
pretending with dusters, while they tried to
carry on with the King, who was cleaning
the Castle-window round the corner; while
the Queen scowled from the wash-tub.
</p>
<p>
And when Tiny saw all that, and
remembered Baby singing so happy that
morning, his heart stopped dead. And he
stood with his hand on the gate, and just
looked.
</p>
<p>
Then the door burst open, and out rushed
Baby in an apron, with a scream and a scurry,
yelling,
</p>
<p>
"O, Tiny! what <i>do</i> you think?"
</p>
<p>
But Tiny only answered quite dull and dead,
</p>
<p>
"What?"
</p>
<p>
So Baby cried,
</p>
<p>
"The Commander-in-Chief's been to call!—And
hee came disguised as a parson—only
he forgot about his cocked hat, which he
was wearing. So of course I found him
out, and roared. And when he saw he was
discovered, he looked rather silly at first.
Then he cheered up, and said it was all a joke
done to amuse me. And really he was so
sweet and smiling—you can't think. He
bowed up and down in the door, and said
he'd come to ask if I was happy in my little
home, for that was all he cared about; and
there were quite tears in his eyes. And when
I said I should just think I was, he seemed
delighted—honestly. Wasn't that nice of
him?"
</p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-126"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-126.jpg" alt="DISGUISED AS A PARSON" />
<br />
DISGUISED AS A PARSON
</p>
<p>
And she hopped on the path, her hand
upon Tiny's arm, and her hair all splendid
and babbled on,
</p>
<p>
"So of course I asked him in, and
showed him over, and all my improvements
and that. And he rubbed his hands and
chuckled, and said how cosy and comfie,
and hoped I should live to enjoy it as long
as I liked. And after that he asked how
mannikin was getting on, and if he might
see him, and said that was really why he
came, and the reason of his disguise. So
I took him myself. And he gave him quite
a nice little talking to on being good and
not spiteful and that; and said if he didn't
try to escape perhaps the King would let
him out some day. But mannikin behaved
shockingly and cuddled away in the corner,
nibbling his nut, and giggled till I was really
quite ashamed."
</p>
<p>
And when Baby remembered that, and
the Commander-in-Chief standing in the
door of the boot-hole in his parson's clothes
and cocked hat talking pi, she laughed like
anything.
</p>
<p>
But Tiny just said nothing.
</p>
<p>
So Baby babbled on,
</p>
<p>
"And after that he shook hands, and
said he could feel happy about me now—Wasn't
it nice of him? And he took off
his cocked hat, and went down the road,
whistling. So you see he's quite a reformed
character." And she laid her hand on
Tiny's arm, and twinkled up at him, and
said slowly,
</p>
<p>
"I—almost—wish——"
</p>
<p>
Then she looked in her pocket, and
cried,
</p>
<p>
"But O! I forgot. I was to give this
writing to Captain Tiny with his <i>dear</i> love.
So you see, Tiny, he can forgive."
</p>
<p>
But Tiny said nothing, and took the
writing.
</p>
<p>
And it was in pencil on some greasy
paper that had folded a dead fish: for St
Jack was good at insults if he was good at
nothing else.
</p>
<p>
And the writing ran,
</p>
<p>
<i>I paid u one for your snuk. This pays u
for your share in Goliuf. And I will pay
u one more yet because I love u so.</i>
</p>
<p>
<i>How?</i>
</p>
<p>
<i>Ha!</i>
</p>
<p>
<i>SAINT JACK.</i>
</p>
<p>
<i>P.S.—I have got orders from the King to
burn down Cosy Cottage before night, because
I told him it had been lived in by swines,
who had had swine-fever. So clear out at
once or sooner.</i>
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
31
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny wound round Baby, and
walked her up and down in the road under
the yew-hedge, where nobody could see, only
Methuselah, who didn't matter, and told her
all about it very tenderly.
</p>
<p>
And when Baby heard that, she went
quite pale, and leaned on Tiny, so that he
wound round very tight indeed.
</p>
<p>
But all she said was,
</p>
<p>
"Pooh! move to another Fort!—what's
it matter?—means a change of house—that's all."
</p>
<p>
Only when she got back to the garden,
and saw her little home so cosy under
creepers, and the two windows in front so
neat and nice, with tiny white curtains with
waists that she'd put up herself that
morning, and the one behind, with nothing yet,
but soon would have, and everybody so busy
and happy and good, she did blink a bit.
</p>
<p>
And when Tiny saw that, he said in her ear,
</p>
<p>
"You poor old duck, you!"
</p>
<p>
But Baby just hopped and cried,
</p>
<p>
"Pah!—I hate this little dog-hole. Not
enough room to swing a cat in. Thankful to
be shut of it."
</p>
<p>
All the same she let go Tiny's arm and
ran quickly. And when she got into her
dear little parlour that she'd arranged so
cosy and stuffy and huggy-warm and tight
up to the top with things, and Tiny's big
chair one side the hearth where he was to
have learned up E in the evenings, and her
little one on the other side where she was to
have heard him say it, she locked the door
and sat down and began.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny came up outside.
</p>
<p>
And when he heard what was going on
inside, he tried hard to get in.
</p>
<p>
But Baby wouldn't let him.
</p>
<p>
So Tiny whispered with his mouth, close to
the crack,
</p>
<p>
"O, Baby, d'you forgive for this morning?"
</p>
<p>
Then Baby came to the door, and undid a
bit, and shoved her little finger through.
</p>
<p>
So Tiny took it, and said, all sobby,
</p>
<p>
"Best and booflest!—Gobbless.
Gobbless. Gobbless. Amen. Amen. Amen.
No more now. See you again some day.
Bye. Goobye."
</p>
<p>
And he ran out.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
32
</p>
<p>
Then as the clock struck twelve the
Colonel marched out of the Fort, with little
Marwy, the regimental baa-lamb, on a string,
and his sword drawn, saying,
</p>
<p>
"Left-right! left-right!"
</p>
<p>
And behind him came the Fellows saying
in a sort of chorus,
</p>
<p>
"Left-right! left-right!"
</p>
<p>
And behind the Fellows came old Goly and
the Boy, drawing the great cannon: which
was really what Goly was for, only they used
him for rides instead.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And as they passed the Wood, the
Commander-in-Chief sat on a gate, with his
cocked hat on the back of his head and said
to himself out loud,
</p>
<p>
"And if they don't find a Fort then that
proves they're no soldiers. So out of the
Country they go for shams. And if they do,
then I come and plough the lot in E. So
guess I've got um either way."
</p>
<p>
And he threw his legs about and laughed.
</p>
<p>
But the Colonel walked on without a word:
for he was grieved about the Commander-in-Chief.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny came by.
</p>
<p>
And when the Commander-in-Chief saw
him, he pointed his finger, and laughed till
he had to wipe his eyes, rocking to and fro,
and crying,
</p>
<p>
"O dear! O dear! O dear!—Souse me,
won't you?—It does make me laff so—you
and Baby all settled in so cosy and comfie
in your little home, and now turned out, and
got to find a new house before night or leave
the Country. E! E! E! Master Tiny! E!
E! E!"
</p>
<p>
But Tiny marched on quite brave and
steady: for he was true to Baby, and what
she had taught him; which was Love.
</p>
<p>
Then St Jack laughed so that at last he
toppled off the gate backwards on to his
cocked hat, and bashed it.
</p>
<p>
But he pulled himself together, and scrambled
on his knees, and pelted stones at Goliath's
back-view, which he couldn't help
hitting, and yelled,
</p>
<p>
"Fat beast! I'll have my ride yet, you'll
see."
</p>
<p>
But Goly did nothing, only went with a
whisky tail: for old Goly knew about
discipline. Only he stored it up in his memory
for the future all the same.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then the Regiment marched on across the
Common, only stopping to pat Methuselah
under the thorn for the last time.
</p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-136"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-136.jpg" alt="THEN THE REGIMENT MARCHED ON" />
<br />
THEN THE REGIMENT MARCHED ON
</p>
<p>
But as they were passing by the old yew,
little Marwy baaed, and tugged away towards
her mother's grave; where the clover grew.
</p>
<p>
Then the Colonel stooped, swallowing his
throat. And he picked her up in his arms,
and marched on without a word.
</p>
<p>
And they went down a rutty lane that
seemed to have no turning, until by good
luck they came to a Fort in a Hole at the
bottom.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And when the Colonel saw that, he said,
</p>
<p>
"What about in here?" for he knew it
didn't matter where they went, so long as
they went somewhere. For the Commander-in-Chief
was like a lot more, he had only one
idea, which was to give trouble.
</p>
<p>
So the Colonel walked across the drawbridge
with little Marwy in his arms, and
banged with his sword-hilt.
</p>
<p>
And when nobody came, he peeped in.
</p>
<p>
And it was all empty inside, only for a
lot of weeds, and an old speckled seagull with
a dagger-beak, limping up and down the
barrack-square.
</p>
<p>
And when the Colonel saw the gull, his
eyes shone, and he said,
</p>
<p>
"This'll do. Come on," and he put
down little Marwy, and trotted in; and the
Fellows followed with Goliath and the great
cannon rumbling over the draw-bridge
behind.
</p>
<p>
Then the Fellows set the cannon up with
its nose over the wall; for it was a low
wall; and the Fort was in a Hole. So
when they fired the cannon off to see if
it was all all right, the ball only hit the
mud-bank that ran round, and bounded back
and took the yellow one's wind rather; which
cheered Tiny up a bit.
</p>
<p>
But, as the big brown captain said, when
he saw the cannon wouldn't shoot over the
bank, it didn't really matter much: for it
was the noise that kept Them down, supposing
They were there.
</p>
<p>
And while the Fellows rubbed the yellow
one, the Colonel ran and made friends with
the gull.
</p>
<p>
But Tiny went apart, and wrote a writing
on his cuff, and sent it by Cooey to
Baby.
</p>
<p>
And the writing ran,
</p>
<p>
<i>Found a Fort in a Hole come quicks-you-can
by Puck and get a house near by to put
things in.—TINY.</i>
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
33
</p>
<p>
And when Baby got the writing, she led
out Puck from the shed, and put him in
the little cart, while Phyllis held the shafts,
and mannikin screamed a lot of orders
through the crack of the boot-hole: for
mannikin was like Tiny, and wanted
everybody to think he was horsey.
</p>
<p>
But Baby and Phyllis paid no heed, and
just did up the band instead, while Puck tried
to bite them, which was a very favourite
thing of Puck's.
</p>
<p>
Then they put the things under the
seat, and Baby got in, with mannikin and
the Junior Subaltern on the back-seat: for
the Colonel had left the Junior Subaltern
behind to sweep up; which was always his
little job.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby took the reins, and tugged,
and Puck went off at a run-away patter;
while Phyllis walked, and the Others trailed
behind on high heels.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And it was Winter by now. And Baby
always said she liked Winter best, for the
same reason as Autumn.
</p>
<p>
And the roads were good with frost;
and Puck's feet rang as he pattered; and the
robins sat about and sang; and there were
red berries on the holly, and apples to chew,
so Baby chewed them as she drove.
</p>
<p>
Only there were no houses near the Hole
to be found, which made it rather difficult
for Baby to find one. But Baby wouldn't
be beat, because she didn't believe in it.
</p>
<p>
So she drove round and round the rim of
the Hole all day looking.
</p>
<p>
And when ever they came to the corner
of the road there was the Commander-in-Chief
sitting on a mud-heap, reading up
out of a great book.
</p>
<p>
And each time they came round he
jumped up, and took off his cocked hat very
courteously, saying,
</p>
<p>
"And have you found a house yet, Mrs. Tiny?"
</p>
<p>
And each time Baby smiled back and
answered,
</p>
<p>
"Almost nearly quite, thank-you."
</p>
<p>
Then the Commander-in-Chief cooed,
</p>
<p>
"<i>So</i> glad," and went back to his book
with a little snigger.
</p>
<p>
But Baby flicked up Puck and drove on.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then towards evening she came to a white
house with windows under an elm with rooks.
</p>
<p>
And when Baby heard the rooks, one tear
went, for it made her think of her home in the
Hall several miles off.
</p>
<p>
And when the Junior Subaltern saw Baby's
tear go, his tear went too: for his heart was
pretty juicy still.
</p>
<p>
So Baby pulled up Puck, while mannikin
ran to his head to show he knew all about
it.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby looked over the gate, and said,
rather trembly,
</p>
<p>
"Why not this?"
</p>
<p>
So the Junior Subaltern glanced over his
shoulder, and whispered,
</p>
<p>
"Cause you can't," and pointed to a great
notice-board in the garden that said in huge
letters,
</p>
<p class="t3">
GO AWAY.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
But Baby cheered up and cocked her nose,
and said to show him,
</p>
<p>
"Can't I, Boy? Can," and she whipped up
Puck, and nearly ran over mannikin, and
went up the drive under the elms in the dusk.
</p>
<p>
But the Junior Subaltern did what the
notice-board told him, and jumped off, and
ran away down to the Fort in the Hole, as
hard as his little legs would carry him.
</p>
<p>
And there they spanked him for being out
after dark.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
But Baby drew up at the white house,
and ran up the steps, and peeped into the
drawing-room, where tea was, and smiled
in, and said,
</p>
<p>
"May we have your house, please, Tiny
and me?"
</p>
<p>
Then the old lady put down the teapot,
and said very graciously,
</p>
<p>
"Why should you, my dear?"
</p>
<p>
So Baby thought for a long time with her
nose in the door, and said at last,
</p>
<p>
"Only because I like its looks."
</p>
<p>
Then the old lady, who was a very beautiful
character, and great on giving up things,
said very smilingly,
</p>
<p>
"Then there's no more to be said."
</p>
<p>
And she got up and said to her daughter,
</p>
<p>
"Come, my dear."
</p>
<p>
So they went out, while Baby held the
door for them.
</p>
<p>
And when they got outside they remembered
they were relations of the King's. So
they tramped across to the Castle, and stayed
there.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
34
</p>
<p>
And when they were quite gone, Baby
went in, and bagged a postage-stamp out of
their box, and wrote on the back of it in
large great letters,
</p>
<p class="t3">
LET<br />
by<br />
BABY,<br />
</p>
<p class="noindent">
and stuck it in the window to show
everybody: for when Baby had done a thing,
she liked everybody to know about it.
</p>
<p>
Then she tore out to Phyllis and the
Others who were coming up the drive, crying,
</p>
<p>
"O don't I manage well!" for Baby really
thought there was nobody in the whole
world managed like she did.
</p>
<p>
Only when she got outside she saw the
Commander-in-Chief sitting on the lawn in
the moon, reading up out of the great book.
</p>
<p>
So she steadied herself and walked across
to him.
</p>
<p>
But the Commander-in-Chief stayed deep
in his book, and waved away with his hand,
saying in a squeaky voice,
</p>
<p>
"'Scuse me, won't you!—Truth is I have
to examine pore Captain Tiny and the others
in E about to-morrow. Only hope they'll
pass—that's all; because if they don't they'll
have to leave the country."
</p>
<p>
But Baby stood before him in the moon
and said, very grave and sad,
</p>
<p>
"You haven't been very loving, have you,
Jacky?"
</p>
<p>
Then the Commander-in-Chief read on all
the harder.
</p>
<p>
But Baby said, very low and quiet,
</p>
<p>
"Have you, Jacky?"
</p>
<p>
Then the Commander-in-Chief shut the
book snap, and got up quick, and walked
away with his shoulders rather high.
</p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p><a id="chap07"></a></p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-147"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-147.jpg" alt="Book VII headpiece" />
<br />
Book VII headpiece
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<h3>
BOOK VII.—GOLIATH PAYS THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF
</h3>
<p><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
35
</p>
<p>
So they moved into the white house.
</p>
<p>
And it was in a garden with a grass-walk.
</p>
<p>
And there was a lawn under an elm with
rooks, and a drive.
</p>
<p>
And at the bottom of the drive was a
cottage among currant-bushes. And there
a little old woman lived behind a lattice and
crooned all day,
</p>
<p class="poem">
"Little Old<br />
Lollypop<br />
Lived in a<br />
Stuffy Shop,<br />
Watching the<br />
Crickets Hop-pop,<br />
Hop-pop."<br />
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
So Baby loved it all better even than
Cosy Cottage.
</p>
<p>
And when, she and Phyllis had arranged
the things round the wall, she sat down and
wrote to the Commander-in-Chief,
</p>
<p>
<i>DEAR JACKY,—Will you come and have tea
with me? Your loving,—BABY,</i>
</p>
<p class="noindent">
to show she forgave him quite and quite.
</p>
<p>
But St Jack wrote back, very short and
simple,
</p>
<p class="t3">
<i>No. I wun't,</i>
</p>
<p class="noindent">
to show he wouldn't be forgiven: for he was
a very straight little fellow when it suited
him.
</p>
<p>
And St Jack wouldn't go, for he knew
very well that if he did he would repent,
because of Baby; and he preferred bad.
</p>
<p>
And besides he was kept on duty all day
at the Castle just now, handing tea-cakes
to the visitors, which he was rather good at;
for St Jack's manners, when he liked, were
very remarkable.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
So That Country had peace and quiet
for some time: for the visitors settled to
stay at the Castle perhaps for ever, because
of the tea-cakes.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
36
</p>
<p>
Then St Valentine's Day came with the
crocuses.
</p>
<p>
And on that day all the birds are married
in That Country.
</p>
<p>
And after that the blackbirds join with
the thrushes, and sing in the bare trees very
rich and jolly: for the blackbirds mayn't sing
till they're married, because that is one of
the rules; but when they do begin they sing
more songs and sing them better than the
thrushes, which shout and whistle more.
</p>
<p>
And when the blackbirds begin the
robins rather leave off: for the robins are
like a lot more, they want to have it all
to themselves all the time; only they just
can't.
</p>
<p>
So they sulk instead.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then Spring came, and jolly began.
And Baby always said she liked Spring
best, because of as before.
</p>
<p>
And the sky became a song, and the
earth a garden. And the robins went into
the woods; and the swallows came out of
the ponds; and the larks ran up the sky;
and everybody was glad.
</p>
<p>
And the sap rose everywhere, and rather
got into mannikin's head; and he became
so dreadfully excited that at last Baby took
Tiny down to see him, because she was afraid
his poor little brain was going.
</p>
<p>
So they came to the hole, and looked in.
</p>
<p>
And there was mannikin standing on the
knife-board, and plugging the blacking-bottles
on to the bricks.
</p>
<p>
And when Tiny said
</p>
<p>
"Why?"
</p>
<p>
Mannikin sucked his thumb and answered,
</p>
<p>
"Becob I like to see the ink splosh so."
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny, who loved lecturing better
than anything else in the world, took the
blacking-bottles away from him, and told him
he was only making it worse for himself, and
the badder he behaved the longer he'd be there,
and how the King was very strict, although
he was so good and kind.
</p>
<p>
But Mannikin didn't seem to mind, and
strutted up and down the boot-hole, with his
hands in his pockets, singing,
</p>
<p class="poem">
"I'm the cock of the boot-hole!<br />
I'm the cock of the boot-hole!<br />
See me!<br />
See me!<br />
I'm the cock of the boot-hole!"<br />
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
37
</p>
<p>
And after that May and June came.
</p>
<p>
And there were tad-poles in the ponds,
and lilacs with purple plumes, and chestnuts
with white ones, and cuckoos calling and
little flop-birds that tried to fly, and tumbled
on the lawn instead. And everything was
jolly all around.
</p>
<p>
And Tiny played cricket in the Fort in the
Hole, while Baby sat on the wall with the
Fellows, and watched him, and afterwards wrote
round,
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
<i>Tiny played four balls, and hit one. The
next bowled him, and the Junior Subaltern
umpired him out. So that wasn't so bad—for
us, was it!</i>
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And every day when the Regiment went
out to War, after the first pellet, the Colonel
fell out, because he said he'd be a casualty
now, and let the other Fellows have a go,
which Tiny always took to mean him.
</p>
<p>
And the Colonel ran away bent up double
behind the wild cherry-hedge till he came
where Baby was waiting him under the
laburnum at the little gate into her garden.
</p>
<p>
And when she had let him in, they ran
hand in hand to the elm, where there was
a great bowl of milk and a cabbage-leaf of
strawberries ready.
</p>
<p>
Then the dear old Colonel took off his
shako, and was quite quite bald. And he
sat on a little stool among the elm-roots,
and drank the milk, and ate the strawberries,
while Baby leaned up against the elm with
her feet straight before her, and read him a
story of a naughty pussy-kitten out of a
great picture-book.
</p>
<p>
And that pleased the Colonel so that he
lifted himself on his hands and swung to
and fro, chuckling.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And after that Baby had a grey kitten of
her own, which the Colonel gave her; and she
played with it all the time.
</p>
<p>
And every day she took the kitten on her
shoulder, and went down the drive under the
trees in the dappled sunshine to meet Tiny
when he came home from the Fort, which he
usually did about an hour after he'd started
for it. For work tired Tiny very easily so
that he had to be careful not to overdo it.
</p>
<p>
And Baby and Tiny walked home arm
in arm, when they thought nobody was
looking, though everybody was, especially
mannikin behind the bars of the boot-hole
at one end of the drive, and little old
Lollypop through the lattice at the other
end.
</p>
<p>
And Baby hugged Tiny's arm, and Tiny
hugged Baby's. And Tiny looked down, and
Baby looked up.
</p>
<p>
And Baby said,
</p>
<p>
"Now me!" and hopped.
</p>
<p>
And Tiny said,
</p>
<p>
"Now me!" and skipped.
</p>
<p>
Then both said,
</p>
<p>
"Now bofe!" and jumped.
</p>
<p>
And Baby smiled, and Tiny grinned, and
neither spoke. And sometimes tears came
because of nobody knew why, and sometimes
roars because of so jolly. And half the time
they were so wise you wouldn't believe, and
half the time so silly you can't think, and
whole the time so happy I couldn't tell
you.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
38
</p>
<p>
But with Summer coming, the Commander-in-Chief
began to stir again.
</p>
<p>
For the Queen at the Castle came with her
hands on her hips and said she could do no
more tea-cakes just now, and they must ave
mustard and cress instead.
</p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-156"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-156.jpg" alt="SHE COULD DO NO MORE TEA CAKES" />
<br />
SHE COULD DO NO MORE TEA CAKES
</p>
<p>
Then the King cocked his crown, and
asked if he might be so good as to inquire
her reasons.
</p>
<p>
So the Queen mopped and answered,
</p>
<p>
"Because of too warm."
</p>
<p>
But the old lady, when she heard that, got
up, and said to her daughter rather bitterly,
for too many tea-cakes had soured her
nature,
</p>
<p>
"<i>Then</i> I think it's time for us to be
going." And they went out with their heads very
high, and camped on the Common instead;
which you may as soon as the grass is dry.
</p>
<p>
But the King was really rather glad: for
he was a bit bored.
</p>
<p>
And the Commander-in-Chief was glad
too; for he was free to do his bad best
once more.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And that very afternoon, as the Colonel
and Tiny were taking their daily ride on
Goliath—the Colonel with the sea-gull in his
arms to give it a swim in the Pond,—the
Commander-in-Chief, disguised as a nigger-boy,
leaped out of the Wood, and tried to
storm Goly by the tail.
</p>
<p>
But Goly just turned his trunk, and gave
the Commander-in-Chief a good old clout
instead, which sent him sprawling.
</p>
<p>
Then the Colonel, who was sitting towards
the head, said,
</p>
<p>
"What is it?"
</p>
<p>
So Tiny, who was sitting towards the tail,
answered, very loud,
</p>
<p>
"Only a dirty little black boy, Sir, whom
Goly spanked for tweaking his tail." But
Tiny really knew quite well, because the
Commander-in-Chief's hump stuck up in the
air, as he lay flat-face in the mud.
</p>
<p>
And when the Commander-in-Chief heard
what Tiny said, tie raised his face, with his
nose all muddy, and screamed,
</p>
<p>
"I'll tell the King! I'll tell the King!
I'll tell the King!" and he buried his face
in the road again, and simplee kicked.
</p>
<p>
But Tiny just cried back anyhow,
</p>
<p>
"Dummind if you do," for he knew he was
all right: for if when you are Commander-in-Chief
you disguise as a nigger-boy, you
mustn't mind if you do get spanked.
</p>
<p>
Besides Tiny knew that St Jack had been
growing so old of late, that even the good
King had begun to notice it.
</p>
<p>
And Tiny knew <i>that</i> because the Queen
who was a bit of a blab, honest soul, had told
him in secret that morning, when he went to
the Castle for the washing; which was always
his little job.
</p>
<p>
For the Queen does all the washing in That
Country.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
A few minutes later as Baby came panting
up the lane with Tiny's boat, which he was
going to sail on the Pond against the Colonel's
gull, she found the Commander-in-Chief sitting
in the middle of the path, fiddling his nose
about between his fingers, and blubbing rather.
</p>
<p>
And when she saw how muddy his nose
was, and how he fiddled it, she ran up with
her eyes round-wide, crying,
</p>
<p>
"O, you poor little thing!—What <i>have</i>
they been doing to you?—Let me wipe your
nose for you."
</p>
<p>
Then the Commander-in-Chief answered
very brave, as he leaned back on his hands,
with his nose up for Baby to do,
</p>
<p>
"Why, I was comin up the lane, when all
of a sudden—pop! bang! They set on
me—ten hundud times ten hundud of um. But
I beat um off—and I killed um all." And
he bubbled his eyes and whispered—"There
was some true live blood."
</p>
<p>
Then Baby whistled as she did his nose
with her handkerchief, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Strikes me, you are the bravest in all the
world—only Tiny."
</p>
<p>
But when the Commander-in-Chief heard
that, he slapped Baby's hand away, and
scrambled to his feet, and bowed up and down with
a sort of a smile, saying,
</p>
<p>
"Thank-<i>ku</i>," and went away down the lane
with his hump up high: for it only rose when
he was in a temper.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
39
</p>
<p>
But St Jack was not the only one who was
growing old in That Country about now.
</p>
<p>
For the Others, who had never been young,
were aging very rapidly, because of Phyllis,
who scolded them when they didn't work, and
cuffed them when they did.
</p>
<p>
So one evening when Phyllis had run down
to little old Lollypop for some fruit for supper
(for you have pretty well all fruit in the
summer in That Country) the Others came and
stood in a row before Baby on the lawn, and
said,
</p>
<p>
"Please, 'M," and the rest, like they do in
Abroad; and let go a tear they had got ready.
</p>
<p>
So when Phyllis ran back up the drive,
Baby peeped through the golden bush and
called,
</p>
<p>
"Phyllis."
</p>
<p>
Then Phyllis came, with the great basket
of cherries on her head.
</p>
<p>
And Baby stood by the golden bush, and
pulled a leaf to pieces, and said, very grave
and sad,
</p>
<p>
"Is it true?"
</p>
<p>
So Phyllis cocked her nose, and answered,
</p>
<p>
"Some is, Miss; most ain't," which is usually
the way with stories from folk in Abroad.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby turned her face away, and said,
</p>
<p>
"You are very straight and true, Phyllis.
So I love you. Only I must sack you all the
same, because you mustn't pinch," for that is
one of the rules.
</p>
<p>
Then Phyllis nearly cried, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Very well, Miss. Only why can't the
Others go back to Abroad where they belong?"
</p>
<p>
And when Baby heard that, she went to the
back-door, and peeped.
</p>
<p>
And there were the Others trying on huge
flower-hats before the glass, and saying there
was only one puffect gentleman in That
Country, and he was the Commander-in-Chief.
</p>
<p>
So Baby said very gently,
</p>
<p>
"My dears, don't you think you'd be happier
back in Abroad, where you belong?"
</p>
<p>
Then the Others turned up their noses, and
drooped down their mouths, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Thank-ye for nothin—We was just hon the go."
</p>
<p>
And they swept out arm-in-arm, and flounced
back to Abroad, where they belonged; and a
good job too.
</p>
<p>
But Phyllis stayed with Baby for ever and
ever.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
40
</p>
<p>
Then about next morning the Commander-in-Chief
came to the Fort in the Hole,
and knocked.
</p>
<p>
And he was wearing a cap and gown over
his khaki-coat, so people might take him for
a scholar; and under his arm was the great
E-book.
</p>
<p>
And when the Junior Subaltern came to
the gate, and asked him what he wanted, he
dropped his eyes, and answered very piously,
"I have come to examine you all in
E,—and especially my deah Captain Tiny."
</p>
<p>
So the Junior Subaltern let him in,
because he knew he could do it all right.
</p>
<p>
Then the Commander-in-Chief came in,
walking with his shoulders rather round, and
his knees rather knocky, because that was
how he thought you did if you were a scholar.
</p>
<p>
But when he got to the square, there was
the King in his crown walking up and down
arm in arm with the Colonel and Tiny.
</p>
<p>
And they were laughing and chattering all
together at once; and the King was telling
about his visitors, and how they had gone at
last; and the Colonel was talking about the
sea-gull, and how he had christened him
Moses; and Tiny was telling about mannikin,
and what a good little mannikin he was
growing under Baby, who had him out of
his hole every day to pick daisies, and taught
him.
</p>
<p>
But when they saw the Commander-in-Chief
slouching across the square, with the
E-book under his arm, they all stopped.
</p>
<p>
Then the King stepped forward, and took
off his crown very courteously, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Ah, St Jack! I see why you've come.
Well. I'll tell you. I have just examined
these gentlemen for you. And I know no
one will be so glad as you to hear that
they have all passed, and especially your
deah Captain Tiny, as nobody ever passed
before. So now you can go back to the
Castle whence you came. Thank-you very
much all the same. How d'you do?—Good-bye."
</p>
<p>
Then the Commander-in-Chief, when he
heard that, bowed up and down with a sort
of a smile.
</p>
<p>
And after that he slouched back across the
square to the gate: for there was nothing
else to do.
</p>
<p>
But Tiny ran before him in a great bustle,
saying,
</p>
<p>
"Let me, Sir!" and held the gate for him,
for nobody could be more charming than
Tiny when he liked, which was mostly
always never.
</p>
<p>
And as the Commander-in-Chief went
through, he said most sweetly,
</p>
<p>
"<i>So</i> sorry you've had all your trouble for
nothing, Sir."
</p>
<p>
But the Commander-in-Chief ran away,
snorting; and when he got outside he took
off his moustaches and whacked his hand with
them; which he always did in a passion.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And that evening he sulked so after tea,
that the King got up in a rage, and after
pouring the dominoes over his head, shouted,
</p>
<p>
"Look here! I'm sick o you. You grow
older and horrider every day. Go to
Abroad!" And he marched to the door.
</p>
<p>
Then St Jack sat very tight in his chair,
and said,
</p>
<p>
"What ye mean?"
</p>
<p>
So the King threw his crown into the
corner, and roared,
</p>
<p>
"The sack—that's what I mean!" and he
held the door open.
</p>
<p>
Then Jacky went out in a terrible rage,
the King's toe behind him.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
41
</p>
<p>
And after that, Summer came.
</p>
<p>
And Baby always said she liked Summer
best, because of you know why.
</p>
<p>
And she lived in the garden all day in
a flap-hat and gauntlets, and messed, and
loved it.
</p>
<p>
And the Junior Subaltern lived there
with her in a coat of many colours and
a white hat, and white shoes, and a little
sash round his waist, and ate things.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And he loved Baby in a pink and proper
way. And Baby loved him to love her, and
taught him, so that he became almost like
a little man.
</p>
<p>
And the Junior Subaltern was easier
to teach than Tiny, because of younger and
squashier. But though he learned quickest,
he forgot quickest too—which is often the
way. So it really came about to about the
same in the end.
</p>
<p>
But when the Junior Subaltern was
there, Tiny walked by himself at the other
end of the garden with his back rather
turned.
</p>
<p>
And because he was full of unkindness
he too began to grow old.
</p>
<p>
And he became more and more like a
common man from Abroad for the time
being, and less and less like a native of
That Country.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then one day when Baby saw Tiny
alone by himself like so, she put her
finger to her lip, and said to herself out
loud,
</p>
<p>
"I wonder why?"
</p>
<p>
Then the Junior Subaltern whispered,
</p>
<p>
"Because of about my umpiring him out
at cricket, I spect."
</p>
<p>
So Baby nodded and said,
</p>
<p>
"Probly praps. Go and make it up.
I turn my back." And she stooped with
her kitten on her shoulder and gardened
a flower.
</p>
<p>
Then the Junior Subaltern went.
</p>
<p>
But Tiny, when he saw him coming, only
turned his back more than ever, and walked
away, very proud and pokery.
</p>
<p>
Only when he got round the hollyhocks,
where Baby couldn't see, all of a sudden
he stopped and bumped backwards into
the Junior Subaltern. And when Tiny
felt the bump, he whispered skew-wise out
of the corner of his mouth, very fierce,
</p>
<p>
"What ye mean by it?"
</p>
<p>
So the Junior Subaltern answered,
</p>
<p>
"By what?"
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny whispered fiercer than ever,
</p>
<p>
"Don't answer me, Sir! or I'll put you
under arrest or something—you ugh!" and
he pretended sick over the flower-bed.
</p>
<p>
But when the Junior Subaltern heard
about you ugh! which is pretty well the
worst you can say in That Country, and
saw what Tiny was pretending over the
flower-bed, he turned pale under the pink,
and came up close, and whispered,
</p>
<p>
"May I be so good as to ask you to
splain yourself, Sir?"
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny answered very short,
</p>
<p>
"No, ye mayn't," which was a very
favourite saying of his.
</p>
<p>
Then the Junior Subaltern trembled, and
answered rather hubbly-bubbly,
</p>
<p>
"I shan't love <i>you</i> any more, Captain
Tiny."
</p>
<p>
But Tiny just smacked the heads off
Baby's flowers, and answered,
</p>
<p>
"Don't then. Duncare."
</p>
<p>
So the Junior Subaltern bowed up and
down to Tiny's back, and strutted away, all
puffed up like a little pouty pigeon, never
to return till next day.
</p>
<p>
But when Baby looked up from gardening
the flower, and saw the bristles at the
back of the Junior Subaltern's head as he
marched away, she ran to Tiny, and dug
his ribs with the trowel, and said,
</p>
<p>
"What you been doing to my nice boy, pig?"
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny bent and gardened a weed,
and grumbled,
</p>
<p>
"Only nothin."
</p>
<p>
But Baby dug him some more, and said,
</p>
<p>
"O you have!—look at the look of the
back of his neck."
</p>
<p>
So Tiny came up from the weed rather
red and sulky, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Only been teachin the boy manners—that's all."
</p>
<p>
Then Baby said,
</p>
<p>
"Well, I wish you'd leave teaching him to
me," and she took Tiny's arm, and walked
him up and down the grass-walk, with the
dial at one end, and the herb-border on either
side, all sweet in the evening, and taught him
till he came good and nice and like you ought
to be, if you are to live in That Country.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And next morning on his way down to the
Fort, Tiny tapped at little old Lollypop's
lattice, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Good-morning, kind Lollypop. Some red
currants, please."
</p>
<p>
Then Lollypop came out in a sun-bonnet;
and her face was all wrinkles and redness like
an old crab-apple; and she picked some
currants, and did them up in a bag, and wiped
her hands on her apron, and gave them to
Tiny, saying,
</p>
<p>
"There, young gentleman!"
</p>
<p>
And Tiny gave her his penny pocket-money
Baby had given him before he went
out, for it was Saturday; and ran on down to
the Fort with the bag.
</p>
<p>
And when he got there he shared the
currants with the Junior Subaltern on parade,
when the Colonel had his back turned, which
he had mostly always.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And after that Tiny and the Junior Subaltern
became better friends than ever till
next time, which you do in that Army.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
42
</p>
<p>
Meanwhile Jacky had gone down to the
market, and taken off his Commander-in-Chief's
clothes in public there, and sold them
to the Junior Subaltern's mother; who laid
them away in a drawer for her son, ready for
Commander-in-Chief in days to come.
</p>
<p>
And after that, Jacky swore by little
Marwy, who was supposed to be dying, that
he would have his ride on Goliath, or leave
That Country.
</p>
<p>
Then he went into hiding in the Wood,
and sent round a message by Cooey to say
he wasn't there.
</p>
<p>
But that afternoon as the Boy rode by with
the Colonel and the gull on the way to the
Pond, he saw Jacky squatting in a hole he'd
dug in the ground.
</p>
<p>
And Jacky was rolling a bit of paper
between his fingers, and spying over his
shoulder, to see if he was being seen. For he
knew very well that what he was doing was
dead against the rules of That Country. But
he was going from bad to worst so fast that
he cared for nothing very much now.
</p>
<p>
Indeed he was said to have said that, next
to a ride, his great wish was to be like a
man from Abroad.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then the Boy, now he knew where Jacky
was, lay awake all night with Goly, planning
a booby-trap. And old Goly entered into it
with all his might: for he loved the Boy,
because they had jokes together; and hated
Jacky, because of fat beast.
</p>
<p>
So next day they started out of the Fort
together, the Boy riding with his red parasol
up to attract attention.
</p>
<p>
And they went past the Wood, where they
could see Jacky quite plainly, hiding up an
elder bush, disguised as a cannibal. And he
was holding something between his lips.
And when he saw them he took it out of his
mouth, and held it up in his fingers, and
puffed: for he was pretty well dead to all
shame now.
</p>
<p>
But they paid no heed, and strolled on
instead.
</p>
<p>
Then when they got to the Pond they
stopped.
</p>
<p>
And Goly went to sleep with one eye
wide, and his back to the Wood.
</p>
<p>
And he stood with his trunk a tiny bit
<i>retroussé</i>, and his tail the least leetle bit out
towards the Wood to tempt Jacky.
</p>
<p>
And Jacky was tempted.
</p>
<p>
For after about a bit out he crawled in
his disguise, and crept up on his hands and
knees, and swarmed up Goly by the tail,
and threw the Boy down after not much
of a tussle; while Goly just stood still and
chuckled.
</p>
<p>
And when Jacky had done dancing and
screaming,
</p>
<p>
"There! There! I told you I would!
I told you I would! ha! ha! ha! Who's
won now? Who's won now?" he sat down
across Goly for his ride.
</p>
<p>
And he dug his heels in, and bobbed up
and down, to pretend he was rising in stirrups,
and went with his arms like he'd seen
men on horse-back, and cried in a bass-voice,
</p>
<p>
"Gee up, fat beast! gee up!" and slapped
with his hands.
</p>
<p>
So Goly winked one eyelid, and went for
a little bit of a canter round the Pond.
</p>
<p>
Then Jacky, who wasn't much of a horseman
at the best of times, sprawled on Goly's
back, gasping,
</p>
<p>
"I'm having my ride! I'm having my
ride. O, I say!—Isn't it j-j-just lubly?"
which was quite a lie, for he hated it, because
of the bumpety bump.
</p>
<p>
So he was just going to slither off when
Goly shyed with a skip and a squeal, and
landed plump in the Pond.
</p>
<p>
And when the waves had gone down a bit,
all you could see was the tip of Goly's trunk,
and the top of his back showing above water
like a little black island with a shipwrecked
cannibal on it, screaming for help.
</p>
<p>
But there was no help to be had: for the
Boy, as soon as he could walk for laughing,
tottered back to the Fort, to tell the Fellows!
</p>
<p>
So the Fellows all came across the Common
arm in arm to see. Only the Colonel didn't
come, because of too kind. Besides he was
sitting up with little Marwy, who was
supposed to be dying of a broken heart,
because of her mother's grave.
</p>
<p>
And when the Fellows saw Jacky stranded
on Goly's back, they just sat down together
round the Pond in a ring, and roared.
</p>
<p>
And Tiny tossed to and fro, and wiped the
tears away, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Sense me, won't you!—It does make
me laff so—you so cosy and comfie out
there, Royal King of your own little island,
and likely to stay there, for ever so far as
I can see. E! E! E! Master Jacky. E! E! E!"
</p>
<p>
And all the Fellows tossed to and fro,
and said in a sort of chorus,
</p>
<p>
"E! E! E! Master Jacky. E! E! E!"
</p>
<p>
So they just sat round all that afternoon
and evening, and tumbled up against each
other with laughing.
</p>
<p>
But about dusk, Tiny stood up, and said
he'd been asked to say a few words.
</p>
<p>
So they stopped laughing; and there was
silence. And Tiny soaped his hands, and
lectured, and simplee loved it.
</p>
<p>
And he said pretty well what Baby had
often said to him, only altered a bit, and
went on about how Jacky's conduct had
grieved him; and how wrong it was to be
spiteful and bear malice; and how it not
only hurt other people, but it hurt yourself
most, because it soured your nature. And
if Jacky couldn't be kind and loving then
he had better leave That Country. And
if he would neither be good, nor go, then
they must put him out, for they had found
him out now.
</p>
<p>
And after that he lifted his hand and
forgave Jacky on behalf of himself and Baby,
and the Regiment, and said he would now
say goodnight.
</p>
<p>
So he bowed up and down, and the
Fellows rose, and bowed up and down.
Then they all went back across the Common
in the dusk arm in arm.
</p>
<p>
And Jacky was left alone on his island.
</p>
<p>
But about midnight Goliath knelt down
suddenly.
</p>
<p>
Then Jacky would have been drowned,
but that he was washed ashore in the
surgings that arose.
</p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-178"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-178.jpg" alt="SWAGGERED OFF TO ABROAD" />
<br />
SWAGGERED OFF TO ABROAD
</p>
<p>
And after that Goliath rose and waded
out; and the Boy, who was waiting on
the bank, dried him with his handkerchief,
and got on; and they went back to the Fort
at a good round trot.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
But Jacky, when he had changed out
of his cannibal clothes, swaggered off to
Abroad, in a new suit, smoking a cigarette.
</p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p><a id="chap08"></a></p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-182"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-182.jpg" alt="Book VIII headpiece" />
<br />
Book VIII headpiece
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<h3>
BOOK VIII.—A SURPRISE-PRESENT FOR BABY
</h3>
<p><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
43
</p>
<p>
Then about next day the good old doctor
rode over from the Castle very mysteriously,
and asked to see Baby.
</p>
<p>
And when he had shut the door, and
drawn his chair up very close, he told her
in a whisper there was a Surprise-present
coming for her from the King at the
Castle; only she wasn't to tell any one,
because it was a secret.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby opened her eyes, and whispered,
</p>
<p>
"Mayn't I know?"
</p>
<p>
But the good old doctor chuckled,
</p>
<p>
"Certainly not, my dear. You may
guess—if you can," and he got up to go.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby got up too, and asked,
</p>
<p>
"When may I know?"
</p>
<p>
So the doctor answered,
</p>
<p>
"About to-morrow," and went out, chuckling.
</p>
<p>
But Baby stayed behind in the window, and
guessed and guessed.
</p>
<p>
Then all of a sudden her heart leaped up;
and she blushed and trembled so that she had
to sit down.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
44
</p>
<p>
So all the rest of the day she sat under
the elm, very busy, making secret little
clothes, that nobody was supposed to know
anything about.
</p>
<p>
But of course mannikin must leave his
daisies, and come and poke and pry and
bother with questions, until at last Baby
got up and took him by his little hand, and
led him back to his hole, saying,
</p>
<p>
"You're a very naughty little man indeed.
And I'm very cross with you—very cross."
</p>
<p>
But mannikin only swaggered along at
her side, nodding his head very wisely,
and saying,
</p>
<p>
"I know—I know," which was a very
favourite saying of mannikin's.
</p>
<p>
But Baby answered very short,
</p>
<p>
"I'm sure you don't," and locked him in
good and tight for the rest of the day.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And that evening when Tiny came back
from the Fort, Baby hid the little clothes
away, and walked about on his arm, talking
poetry-talk in the twilight among the roses;
and she didn't say one word about the
secret.
</p>
<p>
But Tiny saw there was something up
all the same. And when he went to tidy up
the boot-hole for the night, mannikin came
to him in tears, and begged him to get Baby
to forgive him, and to say he promised not
to mention one word about the little clothes.
</p>
<p>
And when Tiny heard about the little
clothes, he thought,
</p>
<p>
"<i>Now</i> I know!" and went pale all over
with excitement.
</p>
<p>
For at that time every year, the good
King sends a Surprise-present to the best
married girl of That Country: for that is
one of the rules.
</p>
<p>
And the Surprise-present is always the
same, and so jolly you can't think.
</p>
<p>
So every nice married girl wants to win it;
only you can't unless you have been truly
good and loving.
</p>
<p>
And Tiny knew Baby was best by far; and
he believed the King knew it too.
</p>
<p>
For as he was leaving the Fort that afternoon,
he had seen the King whispering in the
Colonel's ear behind the water-butt.
</p>
<p>
And when the Colonel heard, he hopped
up high, crying,
</p>
<p>
"Dear old Baby!"
</p>
<p>
And the Colonel was Baby's great friend.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
45
</p>
<p>
But Tiny didn't say one word to Baby
all the same, but just gave her mannikin's
message instead.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby cried,
</p>
<p>
"O poor little chap!—I <i>clean</i> forgot him,"
and she ran to the boot-hole.
</p>
<p>
And when she got there she heard a tiny
little noise inside.
</p>
<p>
So she undid and peeped.
</p>
<p>
And there was mannikin sobbing in a heap
in the corner.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby cried,
</p>
<p>
"Why?"
</p>
<p>
But mannikin only sobbed,
</p>
<p>
"Becob you're cross."
</p>
<p>
So Baby ran to him, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Dear little mannikin!—It's nothing—only
you mustn't bother with questions just
now about things you can't understand."
</p>
<p>
And she sat down, and took him on her
lap, and comforted him.
</p>
<p>
And mannikin leaned his head on her
shoulder, and said, very sniffy,
</p>
<p>
"Lub me," for he was a sentimental little
thing.
</p>
<p>
And he told Baby about his home in a
cottage in the Forest far away, where he used
to live with his old mother, and little lame
sister, and the tortoise-shell cat, till the King
came and took him.
</p>
<p>
And when he told about that, he began to
cry again.
</p>
<p>
Then Baby jigged him a bit, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Now I'll tell you a secret the Queen
told me last time she came round with the
butter.—The King is going to let you out
soon now, because at all events you <i>try</i> to be
good. There!"
</p>
<p>
And when mannikin heard that, he sniffed
and said,
</p>
<p>
"Gobblessim."
</p>
<p>
And after that Baby tied an empty reel to
a thread, and gave it him.
</p>
<p>
And he quite cheered up, and bobbed
the reel, and twinkled his eyes, and said he
a little fisherman, trying to catch a
Surprise-present for being so truly good and
loving.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
46
</p>
<p>
Next morning, as Tiny entered the Fort,
all the Fellows came rushing out from the
shed, shouting,
</p>
<p>
"Well done, Baby!—Good luck to you
both!" for it usually leaks out who has won
the Surprise-present for the year, before it is
stuck up on the Castle-door.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny stopped and said,
</p>
<p>
"But you don't <i>know</i>."
</p>
<p>
So all the Fellows crowded round, and they
answered,
</p>
<p>
"No, we don't <i>know</i>. But the Queen got
talking to the Junior Subaltern when he went
to the Castle for his glass of milk this
morning. So we next door to know."
</p>
<p>
Just then the dear old Colonel came up
with Moses on his shoulder, and little Marwy,
who had quite recovered from her broken
heart, trotting behind.
</p>
<p>
And he stopped and patted Tiny on the
back, saying,
</p>
<p>
"Ah, my dear boy!—I believe I have
to congratulate you."
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny blushed and answered,
</p>
<p>
"Well, Sir, we've heard nothing from
the King as yet. Still—we hope."
</p>
<p>
So the Colonel nodded very wisely and said,
</p>
<p>
"Well, we shall see what we shall see."
</p>
<p>
And he passed on to Sunday-school: for
the Colonel always attended himself, and
tried to get the Fellows to come too; only
they always had sore throats or something,
and couldn't.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then Tiny ran home, quite sure now.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
47
</p>
<p>
And when he got there he found a white
paper pinned on to the door, saying,
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
<i>I have gone to my room to wait. Don't
come.</i>
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
So Tiny waited down below all day.
</p>
<p>
But towards evening, he crept up, and
peeped.
</p>
<p>
And there was Baby waiting by the
window, nursing her pussy-kitten.
</p>
<p>
And as she nursed, she sang,
</p>
<p class="poem">
"Hushaby,<br />
Hushaby,<br />
Here at twilight,<br />
Waiting, I,<br />
Sweet-contented,<br />
Know not why—<br />
Hushaby,<br />
Hushaby."<br />
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then Tiny put his finger to his lips, and
stole away without a word.
</p>
<p>
But Baby waited at the window, looking East.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
48
</p>
<p>
Then at dusk the good old doctor came
from the Castle with a basket on his arm.
</p>
<p>
And the basket was full of lovely little
Stars of Bethlehem, which flower about
then in That Country.
</p>
<p>
And on the basket was a label written in
the King's hand,
</p>
<p class="t3">
<i>Baby<br />
from<br />
The King<br />
because<br />
She Is<br />
so truly<br />
Good and Loving.</i><br />
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then the old doctor went up the stairs
in the dusk very quietly.
</p>
<p>
And he knocked at Baby's door and
entered, the little Stars of Bethlehem
shining white about him, as he went.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
49
</p>
<p>
Then after about a bit he came downstairs
smiling, the basket empty now, only
for the bulrushes that had lined it.
</p>
<p>
And he came out to where Tiny was
holding his white cob, and said,
</p>
<p>
"Ha, my boy!—what d'you think I've
brought for you?"
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny trembled and said,
</p>
<p>
"What, Sir?"
</p>
<p>
So the good old doctor answered,
</p>
<p>
"Go to Baby's room; and you'll see." And
he climbed on to his cob, and jogged
away, chuckling.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And the kitten walked after him down
the drive with its tail up tight.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3b">
50
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny came to Baby's door and
knocked.
</p>
<p>
But there came no answer.
</p>
<p>
So he went in.
</p>
<p>
And within all was still and twilight.
</p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-192"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-192.jpg" alt="WITHIN ALL WAS STILL AND TWILIGHT" />
<br />
WITHIN ALL WAS STILL AND TWILIGHT
</p>
<p>
And the only light came from the Stars
of Bethlehem strewn about the floor.
</p>
<p>
And in the middle of these kneeled Baby,
rocking to and fro with something in her
arms.
</p>
<p>
And when Tiny came in, she looked
up; and he could see her eyes shining in
the dusk.
</p>
<p>
Then Tiny came to her upon his toes, and
kneeled beside her.
</p>
<p>
And he laid his lips to her ear, and whispered,
"Mother."
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
Then they kissed each other and It.
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="t3">
AMEN
</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p class="capcenter">
<a id="img-195"></a>
<img class="imgcenter" src="images/img-195.jpg" alt="Book VIII tailpiece" />
<br />
Book VIII tailpiece
</p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p><a id="chap09"></a></p>
<h3>
ON THE STORY THAT GOES ON FOR EVER
</h3>
<p>
So this story ends the same as all other
stories that ever were written, and that is
happily.
</p>
<p>
And really there is only one Story, and it
is the best Story in the world; but it is not
finished yet, and never will be.
</p>
<p>
And this Story grows better and better all
the time, which is how we know it from the
written stories that we read.
</p>
<p>
But it is told in bits, so that unless we're
sort of in the secret, we may mistake it for a
lot of little stories, all separate, and all telling
against each other.
</p>
<p>
Yet all the little bits fit in together at the
end most perfectly; and not one word is
wasted, although it seems as if there would
be thousands; to say nothing of bad spellings,
and erasures, and great blots of ink and tears.
</p>
<p>
And it is the same end always, and always
a happy end.
</p>
<p>
For no story really ends sadly for the very
good reason that it can't.
</p>
<p>
For Love is Love, and in the end end of all
Love must win.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
So after we have finished our bit of the
Story, and our friends have read it, and
scribbled on the blank space at the bottom,
</p>
<p class="t3">
THE END:<br />
HE WAS A SINNER—<br />
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And after they have whispered about us in
public, and the ladies have gone behind their
handkerchieves, and said,
</p>
<p>
"We must hope for the best, and expect
the worst," and the men have yawned and
said,
</p>
<p>
"Ah, well—De mortuis nil nisi bonum,"
which means—"He was the Devil's darling
from his youth up, and I always told you so."
</p>
<p>
We need not mind so very much; for
it may be that we have done better than we
thought; and it is certain that while the
world knows nothing of our aim, of our
failure it knows more than all.
</p>
<p>
Moreover let us remember to our comfort
that after that dead
</p>
<p class="t3">
END,
</p>
<p class="noindent">
which seems to wind us up so blankly, there
is always a
</p>
<p class="t3">
BEYOND.
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And the strange thing about that Beyond
is that it is really no Beyond at all: it is
There all the time; but we can hardly see
it for the rather odd reason that we are too
close.
</p>
<p>
And this Beyond that is always There is
the real Story, if we only knew it.
</p>
<p>
What we read is only foot-notes at the
bottom of the page to explain the real Story.
</p>
<p>
But because our eyes are so close to the
page, and because the page is so very large,
we often only see the foot-notes, which are
most interesting of themselves.
</p>
<p>
Then sometimes we deny that the page is
there, saying the foot-notes are all, which
is rather foolish: for what is the good of
Notes on Nothing?
</p>
<p><br /></p>
<p>
And a man who buries his nose in the
Notes, and tries to read the writing by
smelling it, is a sinner; and <i>he</i> usually knows a
lot about nothing.
</p>
<p>
And a man who holds his eyes close to
the page, and pries into the Notes, is a
scientist; and <i>he</i> usually knows a lot about the
Notes, and nothing about the Story, which
the Notes are on.
</p>
<p>
And a man who stands back a bit, and
says he can read the whole thing, Notes and
all, and explain it easily, is a Philosopher;
and <i>he</i> usually knows a little about both
Notes and Story.
</p>
<p>
And a man who stands still further back,
and looks at the Story very quietly, and tells
truly all he sees, without trying to explain
it, is a Poet; and he usually knows a lot
about both Notes and Story.
</p>
<p>
And this Beyond that is always There is
always the same, and is always a Love-story.
</p>
<p>
And we are characters in this Love-story,
and walk for ever through its pages.
</p>
<p>
But if we walk apart by ourselves, rather
proud and puffed up, saying that it isn't a
real Story, and that we don't belong to it,
and will take no part, then we lose all the
interest.
</p>
<p>
For that comes from joining in, and feeling
that we are characters in the Story, and must
help it along by helping the other characters.
</p>
<p>
While if we enter in, then we very soon
find out that it is the best Story in the
world, and that if we will, we can be little
heroes, and play our part, and win in the
end quite splendidly.
</p>
<p>
<i>Then</i> it becomes exciting.
</p>
<p>
And once we have joined in, we find
oddly enough that as we grow older we
grow younger, until at length we become as
little children, happy all the time, our work
our play, our life a Song of Innocence, not
unlike the natives of That Country.
</p>
<p><br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 54575 ***</div>
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