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diff --git a/old/54650-0.txt b/old/54650-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 332df0d..0000000 --- a/old/54650-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,3750 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Suffrage snapshots, by Ida Husted Harper - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: Suffrage snapshots - -Author: Ida Husted Harper - -Release Date: May 2, 2017 [EBook #54650] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SUFFRAGE SNAPSHOTS *** - - - - -Produced by Richard Tonsing and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images generously made available by The -Internet Archive) - - - - - - - - - - SUFFRAGE SNAPSHOTS - - - _By_ - IDA HUSTED HARPER - - _Have a smile with me_ - - - WASHINGTON, D. C. - 1915 - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - These random paragraphs are a few of many which - have appeared in _Judge_ to express the lighter - side of the so-called “woman question.” This - centers in the suffrage movement but woman’s - quest of the vote is not a joke. It means a - great deal of hard work, many anxious hours, - some keen disappointments, yet those who are - not in the thick of the fray will never know - the good times they have missed. Flashes of - fun have been scattered all along the way like - flecks of sunshine on a shaded path. It will - seem very dull for a little while after the vote - is won and women get their rights, but they - will soon be able to make things lively again - and contribute as always to the gayety of the - nation. - - - Copyright, 1915 - BY IDA HUSTED HARPER - -Original matter copyrighted by _The Leslie-Judge Publishing Co._ and -used in its present form by their courtesy. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - -Miss Jane Addams in her suffrage speeches insists that men have nothing -to fear, for the women will vote right. That very fact gives some of -them everything to fear. - - * * * * * - -Edison says, “the movement for woman suffrage is just plain morals.” -Maybe that’s the trouble—they’re too plain. Dress them up fashionably -and see if the lady “antis” won’t accept them. - - * * * * * - -A new Chicago policewoman has qualified as one of the best shots on the -force, 92 out of 100. Does she vote because she is such a good shot or -can she shoot so well because she is a voter? What is the connection -between shooting and voting anyway? - - * * * * * - -Annie Riley Hale, a prominent “anti,” says that women want the suffrage -in order to establish polygamy throughout the United States. If she can -prove it will have that effect the women can take a rest and the men -will carry on their campaign for them. - - * * * * * - -It looks as if one recall, one defeat and then another election had -started wings on Mayor Hi Gill, of Seattle. After the tragic close of -his first term his chief of police and alleged partner in sinful -practices was sent to prison. The women gave Hi another chance and now -he has appointed as chief of police the ministers’ candidate for mayor -and is trying to live up to his chief’s standard. Meanwhile the women -are standing by with their spectacles on and a recall petition handy. - - * * * * * - -If Mr. Bryan writes the next Democratic platform it is safe to wager -there will be one plank in it which he flatly refused to put in the last -one. - - * * * * * - -Why don’t the “antis” get a sewing society somewhere to pass a -resolution against woman suffrage? It is growing terribly monotonous to -have all the women’s organizations in the country declaring in favor. - - * * * * * - -It is said the Ohio Board of Administration is appalled at the number of -imbeciles in the State. We thought there must be quite a lot of them -when 528,295 votes were cast against the woman-suffrage amendment -recently. - - * * * * * - -Women have voted for over twenty years in Colorado and twenty-one judges -of districts courts have sent letters to United States Senator Shafroth, -testifying that they never have known a case of divorce because of -political differences between husband and wife. Another anti-suffrage -bomb failed to explode! - - * * * * * - -Dear, dear, how times have changed! Once a woman was not considered a -person by law and a wife and husband were one and he was it. Now the -highest court in New York has decided that a wife is not only a person -and an individual in her own right but she is a family! “A childless -widow or a deserted wife without children is included in the term -family”—those are the very words. From nobody to a whole family—what an -evolution! - - * * * * * - -A Chicago girl swam two miles to shore from an overturned boat, dragging -her escort who couldn’t swim. Now the delicate question arises, Which -shall do the proposing? - - * * * * * - -The High Court of Great Britain has decided that a woman cannot practice -law because she is not a “person;” but she can be a Queen because a -Queen does not have to be a person—at least that is all anybody can make -out of the decision. - - * * * * * - -Mr. Hugh Fox, secretary of the United States Brewers’ Association, -assures the women that it will make no organized opposition to the -pending suffrage amendments. Maybe not—but there is something mightily -suggestive in that name. - - * * * * * - -“Tariff reform, fiscal policies, large international relations are -foreign to the consciousness of the average woman,” says Mrs. Dodge, -president of the anti-suffragists. Maybe so, but it seems as if she -might have sense enough to put a mark on a ballot opposite an eagle, a -star or a moose’s head. - - * * * * * - -A man was excused from serving as juror in a murder trial in New York -lately because his wife wouldn’t allow him to convict any one of murder. -Out in Oregon a juror was challenged the other day because his wife had -already been accepted and it would be impossible for him to give an -unbiased opinion. What makes people think that under equal suffrage -wives would all vote as their husbands do? - - * * * * * - -The women voters of Arizona have started in on so many reforms that the -men can almost feel their wings sprouting. - - * * * * * - -The president of the New York State “antis” says, “Suffrage is going, -not coming.” Well, it sure does seem to be going some these days. - - * * * * * - -It seems as if, when not only State courts but the United States -government itself forbids the use of aigrettes, women would give up -trying to wear them; but the Injun in ‘em dies hard. - - * * * * * - -A French naturalist has discovered that the female oyster is far more -palatable than the male. This is the case with all animals that are used -for food. It is a common remark about a woman that she looks good enough -to eat, but did anybody ever say that about a man? - - * * * * * - -It seems as if the suffragists have come not to bring peace but a sword -into the world. When Mrs. Chapman Catt, the international president, was -sailing across the Pacific homeward from her little trip to organize the -world for woman suffrage, all was calm and serene until she was called -on for a speech. “Before this,” said one of the men voyagers, “we were -all at peace with one another; but after that woman spoke, everybody was -fighting over the suffrage question.” This is a hint to hostesses: When -your guests seem bored to extinction, just get somebody to say woman -suffrage, and then watch the sparks fly! - - * * * * * - -It is said that in England whiskers are again to be the style. One thing -is certain—if they become the fashion in this country, our women will -set their faces against them! - - * * * * * - -The dress skirt this fall is to be narrower than ever, and a noted -tailor says the only question is, “Can a lady wear it?” Perhaps a lady -can, but a modest woman won’t. - - * * * * * - -And now they say President Wilson is about to reverse his position on -amending the Sherman anti-trust law. When he gets ready to back track on -the woman-suffrage question he will have no difficulty in establishing a -precedent. - - * * * * * - -In the debate in the North Carolina senate on a bill to permit women to -act as notaries public it was objected to because women write a -“vertical hand” and wear slit skirts. That shouldn’t disqualify them as -notaries, but it is as strong an argument against giving them the -suffrage as one often hears. - - * * * * * - -The New York City board of education dismissed a woman fireman from one -of the public schools, on the ground that it was not suitable work for a -woman. It’s all right for her to get up at home winter mornings and make -the fire but whenever there is a salary attached the work becomes -unwomanly. Strange that women cannot see these things without having to -be shown so often. There ought to be little sign-boards set up along -their path, saying, “Public salaries are only for voters.” - - * * * * * - -“Yeast,” a new suffrage play, is just being tried out. It is sure to -cause a rise among the “antis.” - - * * * * * - -A bill is before Congress to annex the North Pole as United States -territory. Bet it comes in with a Votes for Women flag on the end of it. - - * * * * * - -If the suffragists and the “antis” don’t quit writing letters to members -of Congress the latter will raise the rate of postage instead of -lowering it. - - * * * * * - -Recent census reports show that 86.7 of all persons over twenty-five -marry. That is quite enough—the other 13.3 are needed to show the -married what they escaped. - - * * * * * - -The woman-suffrage question in this country has been settled. The -Colonel did it in his whirlwind tour of New York’s East Side. “How about -votes for women?” called out the unscareable Maud Malone. “Madam,” said -Mr. Roosevelt, “I have asked that you women be allowed to vote to -determine whether or not you shall vote.” Just that; he never told whom -he had asked, but the mere fact that he had asked was enough. All the -women have to do now is to keep still and wait till somebody “allows” -them to vote whether they want to vote. If one over one-half of the -twenty-four millions says “yes,” then they can all go right out and -vote. But if one over one-half says “no,” then the 11,999,999 that want -to can’t. Beautiful plan—so simple, so statesmanlike! But it seems to -lack provision for a recall and a new deal. - - * * * * * - -Two women card sharps on a big ocean liner are said to have relieved a -number of the male voyagers of all their ready cash. Another flagrant -instance of woman’s usurping an occupation that rightfully belongs to -man! - - * * * * * - -Vice-President Marshall can’t do anything for woman suffrage because his -wife doesn’t believe in it. That might be a sufficient excuse for Mr. -Marshall as an individual but it is rather thin for the Vice-President -of the United States. - - * * * * * - -“Bachelors are much more likely to become insane than married men,” is -the decision of the Massachusetts Mental Hygiene Conference. Yes, the -mere fact that they choose to remain bachelors shows a mental twist. - - * * * * * - -A New York paper sagely remarks, “Under any system we shall not get a -government of cherubs until we become cherubs ourselves.” That’s too -long ahead. Men have always told women they were angels, so why not -begin with woman suffrage as the first step? - - * * * * * - -“All the blessed creatures have to do,” said Representative Adamson, of -Georgia, in his speech, “is to intimate in a gentle way, in their -charming tones and pleasing manner to the lords of creation that they -wish to have the privilege of voting.” How much that reminds one of -Heflin, of Alabama—it’s so different! - - * * * * * - -“Women of New Jersey,” said ex-Assemblyman Matthews at the legislative -hearing, “if you want to improve the conditions of public life, I beg -you to keep on being women.” As they felt that conditions very much -needed improving, and for various other reasons, they adopted a -resolution to keep on being women. - - * * * * * - -For the fourth year in succession a woman has won the prize of $1,250 -offered by an English publishing house for the best first novel. It is -bad enough that there are a million more women than men over there, -without having them add to the offense by such performances as this. -They’ll never get the vote. - - * * * * * - -The president of the Pennsylvania Anti-Suffrage Society asks its members -to “write to all the United States Senators, except those from the -suffrage States, and tell them that the great, silent majority of women -do not want the vote.” She was very kind to omit those gentlemen—they -might laugh themselves to death. - - * * * * * - -The Anti-Suffrage Association claims the credit for defeating the -appointment of a Woman Suffrage Committee in the lower house of -Congress. The only question voted on in the Democratic caucus was that -“woman suffrage is a State and not a Federal question,” but this will -not disturb the complacence of the “antis.” They will simply claim that -they originated the doctrine of State’s rights. - - * * * * * - -The Texas preacher who asked all the women of his congregation on Easter -Sunday to take off their hats had St. Paul beaten to a frazzle. - - * * * * * - -The “antis” are failing to scare the suffragists by warning them that -they will get the worst of it when they “rouse the brute force in men.” -As long as they are gradually getting everything they ask for they will -never believe that men are brutes. - - * * * * * - -Englishmen are howling because, under the new income-tax law, the wife -can find out how much property the husband has. But didn’t she know -already, as he promised at the altar, “With all my worldly goods I thee -endow”? - - * * * * * - -There seems to be some anxiety lest the new women internes at Bellevue -Hospital may not be able to jump on a speeding ambulance. Some -encouragement is given by the news from Vassar that one girl has just -thrown a basketball seventy-five feet and another has “smashed the -broad-jump record” with a jump of over nine feet. Give the new internes -a chance. - - * * * * * - -A man in the audience of State Senator Helen Robinson, of Colorado, -called out that as there was only one woman and thirty-four men in the -Senate, this showed it was a place for men. She answered that as there -were eighty-seven women and eight hundred men in the State penitentiary, -this evidently showed the same thing. Doesn’t she know that men won’t -love her if she talks like that? - - * * * * * - -Why are there so many more widows than widowers? Because a man finds -marriage such a nice institution that he gets right back into it, while -a woman—well, she doesn’t. - - * * * * * - -Ex-Speaker Cannon says that as women can now vote in Illinois it is a -good time for handsome men to run for office, and that is why he ran. -But Illinois women can’t vote for Congressmen and that is why he was -elected. - - * * * * * - -The women of Alaska, at the first election since they were enfranchised, -elected an entire non-partisan ticket. It is no wonder the old party -machines put on speed and try to run over a woman-suffrage amendment. - - * * * * * - -According to the latest medical discovery, love causes an intoxication -of the nerve centers which may lead to insanity. That is probably why -people who are in love are said to be crazy about each other—their nerve -centers are on a spree. Cynics might call marriage a jag cure. - - * * * * * - -The anti-suffragists say that the suffrage movement is driving women -away from marriage and “the feminist movement is turning marriage into a -trade for alimony,” and yet that the two movements are one and the same. -But how can a woman make an alimony bargain if she has not been married? -It really seems as if those “antis” had set out to prove the charge that -the feminine mind is incapable of logic. - - * * * * * - -If the anti-suffragists would observe their Golden Rule, that “a woman’s -place is at home,” it would not be half so easy for those other women to -get the ballot. - - * * * * * - -Outside of the South only two States voted solidly against the woman -suffrage amendment in the lower house of Congress—Vermont and Delaware. -Please excuse them, they’re such little ones. - - * * * * * - -Virginia suffragists have discovered that in 1829 her women petitioned a -constitutional convention for the franchise. That was only eighty-six -years ago, and petitions from women are seldom acted upon in so short a -time as that. - - * * * * * - -At the legislative hearing in Massachusetts, the other day, one of the -opponents said she did not believe women ought to vote but thought -one-half the Legislature should be composed of women. Just as her sister -“antis” always have done, she keeps one eye on the offices. - - * * * * * - -During the recent registration in San Francisco, automobiles were -provided for the women, while the men were left to walk, and they rent -the air with their protests. In Washington a jury composed of men and -women had to go to the country to inspect some property. The women were -sent in automobiles and the men in wagons, and their anger could be -heard for miles. As the young woman wrote to her sweetheart, “The -trubble with you is you are jellus.” - - * * * * * - -Possibly women as well as men may be at their best when fifty, but they -will never give anybody a chance to prove it on them. - - * * * * * - -Representative J. Hampton Moore, of Philadelphia, is quoted as saying it -will be 20 years before Congress hears any more about prohibition or -woman suffrage. That 0 must be a printer’s mistake, and even the 2 is -fifty per cent. too much. - - * * * * * - -Indiana women have formed a council to work with the Legislature “for -the uplift of women and children.” Wouldn’t it be of greater benefit to -the State if they would work for the uplift of the legislators? - - * * * * * - -Anti-suffragists are censuring Senator Helen Ring Robinson, of Colorado, -because she is in the East lecturing instead of at home legislating. But -she can’t unless the Governor calls a special session, as the -Legislature does not meet this year. Those anti-suffrage objections are -such funny little boomerangs! - - * * * * * - -New Zealand has just been celebrating the twenty-first year of its -equal-suffrage law. To be sure that country is some distance off, but it -seems as if we should have heard of the wrecked homes, ruined families, -declining birth rate, feminized men and general reign of socialism, -polygamy and other things which the “antis” declare will follow woman -suffrage. If they will then they have done it, so let us have a bill of -particulars from New Zealand. - - * * * * * - -A Chicago lawyer secured a big alimony for his client on the argument -that a man who marries a handsome woman must dress her in a style -befitting her beauty. This ought to put the plain woman several laps -ahead in the matrimonial race—but it won’t. - - * * * * * - -If the colonel feels a little disheartened at the lapses in the -Progressive party while he was away revising the map of South America, -he can cheer up at the boom in votes for women. There will be more than -twice as many of them in 1916 as when he set out to round them up two -years ago. - - * * * * * - -The Supreme Court of the District of Columbia has decided that after a -wife has left her husband’s bed and board she may establish her own -domicile wherever she pleases. That is an improvement on the old law, -which did not allow her any place to sleep and eat legally without her -husband’s permission. - - * * * * * - -Mrs. John Martin, a leader of the “antis,” said recently, in a public -address in New York, “If they dare attempt to force the ballot on us -here in the East, they will find that we are the daughters of the heroes -who fought and bled at Concord and Lexington, who starved at Valley -Forge!” Seems as if we had heard somewhere that those heroes did all -that for the specific purpose of obtaining the ballot. “Descendants” is -a very suitable word to apply to their daughters. - - * * * * * - -It was a woman who solved the “Million Dollar Mystery” and received the -$10,000 prize; but that isn’t the worst of it—she hasn’t any husband to -take care of the money for her. - - * * * * * - -The Anti-Suffrage Society forbids its members to say, “Woman suffrage is -coming!” That’s right—it shows a lack of originality to use the same -slogan as the suffragists and how can they expect to raise money for a -campaign against a sure thing? - - * * * * * - -A rich New Yorker, who has just died, left his fortune for his daughters -in the hands of masculine executors because he doubted women’s wisdom in -business. How did he happen to have so much confidence in men’s honesty -in business? - - * * * * * - -Speaker Clark is no “neutral” when it comes to woman suffrage. During -the House debate the other day the officers of the Suffrage Association -were invited to occupy his bench in the gallery and have luncheon in his -rooms at the Capitol. Give him the Iron Cross. - - * * * * * - -A man in Chicago has written a booklet against woman suffrage, in which -he relates that when he was a small boy he and his sister were attacked -by wolves, which his mother drove off with a gun. “If she had been a -suffragette,” he says, “she would probably have been away from home that -night attending a political meeting and Sister Lucy and I would have -been eaten alive.” Sister Lucy might have been a loss to the world. - - * * * * * - -A wife has recently laughed herself to death at one of her husband’s -jokes. At least there is the consolation that she never will have to -listen to any more of them. - - * * * * * - -The anti-suffragists say that “feminism and the family are inherently -and irrevocably incompatible.” When we find out what that means we are -going to get mad about it. - - * * * * * - -Professor Hugo Münsterberg, of Harvard University, after years of -careful research has decided that women form their opinions and -judgments just as rapidly and accurately as men. Thanks for that small -concession, kind sir! It is so unexpected! - - * * * * * - -The women anti-suffragists have just held their first convention, while -the suffragists have had them by the hundreds. Now let the antis get up -one parade and match it against the more than a thousand suffrage -parades on May 2d, to prove that “the vast majority of women do not want -to vote.” - - * * * * * - -A speaker at the annual convention of the National Municipal Leagues -takes President Wilson to task because his “History of the American -People” scarcely mentions women. Why single out the President’s for what -is common to all histories? The women ought to get even by writing -histories themselves and leaving out the men. That is almost though not -quite the case in the history of woman suffrage, but the men are -mentioned whenever they vote it down. - - * * * * * - -“The cause of equal suffrage is so one with civilization and humanity -that I wonder any civilized man can be against it,” is the latest -utterance of William Dean Howells on the question. He was careful not to -say “civilized woman,” because he did not want to hurt the feelings of -the Anti-Suffrage Association. - - * * * * * - -The president of the Arizona Federation of Women’s Clubs said, in a -recent speech, “It requires courage to be a good statesman and only -nerve to be a good politician.” To apply this formula to suffrage—it -requires only nerve to be a good anti-suffragist, but one really has to -wonder where they get enough of it. - - * * * * * - -A six-foot woman who has recently been appointed purser on a Hudson -River boat is opposed to suffrage because she does not feel equal to the -burden and she thinks it would tend to make women take men’s jobs away -from them. Her picture in the papers should be labeled “The Typical -Anti-Suffragist, an Unconscious Humorist.” - - * * * * * - -One member of the lower House of Congress obtained unanimous consent -that another member’s eulogy on his dog should be printed in the -Congressional Record. Worse stuff probably has gone into that Record; -but if two women members of the Legislature in some of those Western -States had been guilty of this performance wouldn’t the country have -rung with their unfitness for office? - - * * * * * - -The reformers say that when woman is economically independent she will -be free to do the “proposing.” Perhaps then she won’t want to. - - * * * * * - -A man has started to walk with a donkey from Maine to Oregon on an -election bet. The photographers should label their pictures, “Find the -man.” - - * * * * * - -Great Britain has solved the race-suicide problem. Hereafter the -parents, where either is insured, will get thirty shillings for each new -baby. What a simple solution! What a magnificent recompense! The little -island won’t hold the infants. - - * * * * * - -The judge of the Chicago Domestic Relations Court gives six reasons for -the trouble in married life, and one of them is the interference of -mothers-in-law. If it were not for the other five reasons, there would -probably not be so much necessity for mothers-in-law to interfere. - - * * * * * - -The Anti-Suffrage Association is very desirous of adopting a color for -its very own, but thus far has found that all in the rainbow and out of -it have been pre-empted by the innumerable suffrage societies. The -“antis” over in England had just such a difficulty, but finally decided -on blue and black. Then they had made a button and on it placed the head -of a dear little chee-ild; but when the black and blue infant made its -appearance, it was received by the suffragists with such screams of -laughter and proffers of sympathy that it suddenly vanished and was -never seen again. - - * * * * * - -In Denmark the men police are going on a strike, because the new women -police are to have a higher salary than men get when they begin. There -is nothing strange about this news, except that Denmark should pay women -such salaries. - - * * * * * - -A woman office-holder who is getting a $4,500 salary says: “No, I am not -a suffragist. Why should I want to vote? Men have always been mighty -good to me.” Prosperity sometimes does affect people that way—makes them -so nearsighted they can’t see what is happening to their neighbors. - - * * * * * - -There doesn’t seem to be any particular reason why four or five women -should have been guests of honor at the annual banquet of the Police -Lieutenants’ Benevolent Association, but they just sat up there and -sang, “We’re here because we’re here.” And that isn’t the worst of -it—they’re going to be everywhere else and the men who don’t like it -will have to go to the edge of the earth and jump off. - - * * * * * - -The president of the New York Press Club in talking lately to a woman’s -society on suffrage said: “Keep within the sex line. I and the men -behind me will never forgive you if you step outside of that line!” Is -it anything like the bread line? And how are women to know if they fail -to toe the mark exactly? They are as far now from what was originally -considered the “sex line” as if it was the equator and they were at the -poles and yet the men seem to have forgiven them. - - * * * * * - -If the New York women keep on rolling up that big suffrage fund the men -will feel it their bounden duty to take over the management of the -amendment campaign. - - * * * * * - -A New Jersey woman has been obliged to get a divorce because her husband -was so “inordinately fond of dress” that he spent all his earnings on -his clothes. Vanity and foolishness know no sex. - - * * * * * - -New York State has 101.2 men to every 100 women. That extra one and -two-tenths of a man ought to make it entirely possible to give a vote to -women without fear of changing the style of sex domination. - - * * * * * - -Some of the men are angry because the women said they are going to ride -in the Washington suffrage parade with an imbecile, an insane person and -a convict. The men say that the only time a woman should keep such -company is on election day. - - * * * * * - -With an amendment for full suffrage pending in a certain State, the -opponents believe in nipping any voting tendencies in the bud; so the -district attorney announces that any woman giving a tea party to induce -other women to come out and register for the school election, at which -women can vote, will be prosecuted under the corrupt practices act. Of -course then he will prosecute the ward bosses who round up the men in -the back rooms of saloons to arrange for their registering and voting. -Or is it only drinking tea that is a corrupt practice? - - * * * * * - -In Missouri there are 141 unmarried men to 100 unmarried women. It seems -as if every woman there ought to be able to get a husband, but perhaps -some of them are particular. - - * * * * * - -Some of those husbands who stay out late nights are surprised that the -suffragists find it necessary to have so many classes for training -inexperienced speakers. - - * * * * * - -Winston Churchill mispronounced a Greek word in the House of Commons -lately, to the consternation of its members. Imagine the commotion in -the House of Representatives at Washington if a member should make a -mistake in his Greek! - - * * * * * - -“Our only problem now,” says the national anti-suffrage president, “is, -Can we make the negative majority large enough to keep the voters from -having to vote on it again for twenty-five years?” No use to waste any -time and money figuring on that problem. The answer is, It can’t be -done. - - * * * * * - -One of the New York Supreme Court justices, in adjourning a case against -a woman recently, said, “My sex has been deceiving the other sex since -the day of Adam.” There has always been a suspicion that in that little -transaction in the Garden of Eden it was Adam himself who was deceived. -Since then possibly the men have been trying to get even, but it looks -nowadays as if the women were beginning to claim their share from the -tree of knowledge, and deceiving them was not quite so easy. - - * * * * * - -The only “perfect woman” has been found at Cornell University. To find -perfect ladies visit a bargain counter. - - * * * * * - -A noted astrologer has seen in the stars victories for woman suffrage in -many States. The “antis” see stars every time there is a new victory; -but when they pick themselves up they never make any forecast of the -future. - - * * * * * - -Cuban women are organizing for the suffrage and a flourishing society -already exists in Hawaii. Truly the anti-suffragists are kept so busy -these days trying to stem the tide they are obliged to forget that a -woman’s place is at home. - - * * * * * - -The candidates on the primary-election tickets in New York all had -numbers opposite their names, so that voters who couldn’t read or -remember carried the numbers of their choice into the polling booth and -copied them on the ballot. It almost seems as if women might have -intelligence enough to perform a feat like that. - - * * * * * - -A tablet has been discovered in Babylonia, recording that the first -world was created by a woman, and the male gods, growing tired of it, -wiped it out by a flood and created another. There is a nice thing about -this record—it has no account of Eve’s eating the apple and bringing sin -into the new creation. This removes one charge against woman and puts it -up to man to account for the large amount of wickedness that has crept -into his world. - - * * * * * - -That English anti-suffrage mother had no right to feel insulted when her -“militant” daughter sent her a post-card with the one word “doormat” -written on it. Wasn’t it the English writer, Dinah Mulock, who said -women ought to be satisfied to be doormats in their husband’s home? - - * * * * * - -There seems to be some mild excitement over the question whether a woman -should be allowed to write “Mrs.” before her name when she is really -“Miss.” The chief effect would be on the men, who are much more chesty -before the unmarried women that believe them to be heroes than before -the married, who know they are not. - - * * * * * - -A Philadelphia clergyman says that “women’s clubs are the instruments of -the devil.” With several million women enrolled in them, His Satanic -Majesty should have a large working force; but it’s odd that every one -of them seems to be trying to improve something or somebody. Maybe the -minister meant to say men’s clubs. - - * * * * * - -The Business Women’s League of Nashville, with three hundred members, -has united with the Equal Suffrage League to move on the Legislature. -Apparently they have never heard from the lady “antis” what a hindrance -the ballot will be to the working woman but it is not yet too late for -the “antis” to save her from “impending doom,” in the classic language -of their president. - - * * * * * - -The anti-suffrage women are boasting of the cooperation they receive -from men. Sure—they are playing the game for the men! - - * * * * * - -Secretary Lane, of the Interior Department, says there will be no Indian -man without the suffrage when he goes out of office. The surprising -thing is that previous administrations have allowed a male of any sort -to escape having it thrust upon him. - - * * * * * - -The wizard of Hoboken announces that the zodiacal sign of Sagittarius -signifies that woman suffrage will be successful. Yes, all signs point -that way; but is there anything in the zodiac to indicate when? - - * * * * * - -Why is it that as soon as women get the suffrage in any State they are -called upon to clean up the cities and purify politics? As men have -always been held to be so much better qualified to vote than women, the -latter ought to find every city a Spotless Town and the political -atmosphere too rarefied to breathe in safety. - - * * * * * - -The college girls all marry, according to recent statistics. They have -to pass laws in many States to prevent school teachers from marrying. -You can hardly keep a trained nurse single until her patient gets well. -Stenographers go like hot cakes. The only girls that seem to have -trouble in getting married are the old fashioned, womanly kind that do -the sweetly domestic acts in the seclusion of the home. - - * * * * * - -At the big dinner given in New York for the Men and Religion Forward -Movement the dean of Yale Theological School said: “The Church must have -men because men are militant.” Go to: isn’t it militancy that is ruining -the Women and Suffrage Forward Movement? - - * * * * * - -Ex-President Eliot, of Harvard, anti-suffragist, says, “Women are better -adapted to work for the human beings of the future than men are.” Yes, -and as there wouldn’t be any human beings of the future if it were not -for women it almost seems as if they were of enough importance to have a -vote. - - * * * * * - -Why should the advocates of woman suffrage be criticised for trying to -defeat members of Congress who are opposed to it when all of the parties -do their best to prevent the election of their opponents? If the -suffragists did not try to keep their enemies out of Congress they -wouldn’t have political sense enough to vote. - - * * * * * - -The corporation counsel of the District of Columbia has ruled that the -new eight-hour law for women applies to those who do mechanical work in -a newspaper office, but not to those who do brain work. He probably -considers that those big, forty-page papers are a greater strain on -hands than brains, and it sure does seem like that when you try to read -them. - - * * * * * - -“As for me, I defy you women. Come and meet me on the stump.” Such were -the brave words of a New York alderman, and from that moment Ajax -defying the lightning was simply not in it. - - * * * * * - -All over the country ministers are giving sermons in favor of woman -suffrage. Why don’t the “antis” get some of them to preach against it? -Surely a few can be found who would dare to do it! - - * * * * * - -Mrs. John Martin, opposed to a vote because it will turn women from -matrimony, says that “soon the only women to marry will be the infirm -and the idiotic.” The anti-suffragists will continue to be eligible, -won’t they? - - * * * * * - -Ex-President Eliot has come to the front again to declare that there -wasn’t any Garden of Eden or Adam or Eve. All right. Then Eve didn’t eat -the apple and bring sin into the world; therefore that objection to -giving the ballot to the women of the United States is null and void. - - * * * * * - -Just at the psychical moment when the _Alienist and Neurologist_, a St. -Louis publication, devoted several pages to prove that the “cave man is -the type women adore” and that “the bigger the brute, the more a woman -clings to him,” a New York wife took a 200-pound husband by the ear and -led him to the police station, and one the same size in Chicago had his -wife arrested for cruel and inhuman treatment. It looks as if the women -themselves were trying the role of the cave man. - - * * * * * - -Have a Father’s Day, by all means, if any of them feel slighted; but -wouldn’t a “night” be more appropriate? - - * * * * * - -They say that a stenographer is the only woman to whom a man can dictate -these days. Is that the reason so many men marry their stenographers? - - * * * * * - -The New York suffragists are hunting for some means of moving Senators -Root and O’Gorman to favor their amendment. They might try an -earthquake. - - * * * * * - -The manager of a large school for the athletic training of girls says he -has a number of pupils who can “heave a weight one hundred and eighty -feet.” It almost seems that if women can do that they ought to have the -physical strength to heave a ballot into a box. - - * * * * * - -The anti-suffrage ladies mourned over the women’s peace parade because -it showed such a “thirst for publicity.” Yes; those timid, shrinking -creatures themselves wouldn’t do a thing except parade up and down the -streets wearing a big American Beauty rose to attract attention to their -being “antis;” open headquarters in conspicuous places, call mass -meetings and orate from the platform, besiege Congress and Legislatures, -attend political conventions and go before the committees and send their -representatives all over the country to conduct a publicity campaign -against the suffragists. Oh, yes, they’re “shrinking” all right—getting -smaller every day. - - * * * * * - -“If women go into politics, who will do their work?” wail the “antis.” -The men can do it, as they’ve already taken most of it away from the -home. - - * * * * * - -How could anybody wish the poor congressmen a Happy New Year when they -had to begin it by voting on woman suffrage? - - * * * * * - -The churches and the social-uplift societies seem to have almost as much -trouble in stopping the tango as the government does in putting an end -to the snake dances among the Indians. - - * * * * * - -That new woman fire inspector in New York reported in one week -thirty-seven violations of the law. The next thing she knows she will -lose her job. - - * * * * * - -A hen at the Agricultural College of Oregon has laid 283 eggs this year, -while the roosters stood around and crowed; and a cow in Michigan has -given 18,733 pounds of milk, while the—but why specialize in order to -prove the superior value of “the female of the species?” - - * * * * * - -Miss Julia Lathrop, head of the National Children’s Bureau, says, “The -anti-suffragists are like the hypnotized chickens which balk at a chalk -line when there is nothing beyond.” Yes, and after the ballot is -actually given to women they are just like chickens when some corn is -dropped the other side of the chalk line. - - * * * * * - -French annuity companies have discovered that women live twenty years -longer than men, and now they propose to give women a choice of dying -young or having their premiums raised. - - * * * * * - -“If my mother-in-law comes to heaven, I’ll leave,” wrote a New Orleans -man, just before he committed suicide. Doubtless she will speed the -parting guest. - - * * * * * - -It is too bad that members of the European nobility cannot come over -here to hunt grizzly bears without being accused of seeking a rich wife, -but perhaps it is because their graces and lordships have so long -considered American heiresses as game. - - * * * * * - -Chicago women say that when they had to go to the City Hall before they -got the ballot the officials there were polite but now they are cordial. -In other words women without a vote are tolerated; with it, they are -welcomed. Unfortunately many women don’t know the difference. - - * * * * * - -Morrison I. Swift, lecturing on the “Humanist Forum,” whatever that may -be, says, “Women are amazingly incompetent to bring up children, have no -special aptitude for it and it is doubtful whether they have any real -liking for it.” So? Well, perhaps men had better try their hand at it -for a while; but any woman who ever left father in charge for a few -hours and remembers the general chaos she found on her return has her -doubts as to man’s aptitude along this line. - - * * * * * - -“Woman’s closer relation to the machinery of government is inexpedient,” -says the chairman of the New York anti-suffrage press committee. Well, -if she takes out an accident policy she might run the risk of watching -to see that it doesn’t slip so many cogs. - - * * * * * - -An army of suffragists have just ended a 400-mile walk from Edinburgh to -present a suffrage petition to Prime Minister Asquith. The suffragette -way is quicker—they just wrap it around a stone and throw it through his -window. Both branches of the movement seem to have proved that they -possess the physical strength to cast a ballot. - - * * * * * - -The health commissioner of New York is determined that all the -restaurants and hotel dining-rooms shall display signs telling how much -benzoate of soda and similar stuff there is in the pastry. It is often -asked why men make so much better cooks than women but no such signs -were ever necessary on the pies that mother used to make. - - * * * * * - -Irvin Cobb told them at the Kentucky dinner that “the reason woman -suffrage is not a success in his State is that woman can never be man’s -equal because she is always his superior.” That remark has a sort of -“befo’ the wah” flavor. Women accept man’s word that they are much his -superior but when they get the ballot they will try to improve his -status. - - * * * * * - -A “mere man” complains in a Chicago paper that “men have dwindled in -importance in the eyes of women.” Don’t worry! They are just as -important as ever in their own eyes. - - * * * * * - -The pugilists of California are so mad because prize fights are -prohibited that they are going to move out of the State to spite the -women who did it. - - * * * * * - -The Los Angeles woman police officer who is touring the Eastern States -gives as one great advantage of woman suffrage that men no longer have -to go down town to talk politics. A good many men would consider that an -argument against it. - - * * * * * - -The secretary of state for New York is willing to concede a good deal to -women, but insists on the “physical superiority” of men. Then how do all -life insurance statistics happen to show that women live to a much -greater age than men? - - * * * * * - -Dr. Forbes Ross, an eminent English physician, has discovered that in -two thousand years the men will have degenerated into gorillas. The -women can save the race, he says, but not if they insist on the vote. -The women will probably answer that they will take the vote now and run -the risk of the gorillas two thousand years hence. And, when one comes -to think of it, after the treatment the suffragists in England have -received from some of the present generation of men, gorillas would have -no terrors for them! - - * * * * * - -Another English doctor heard from! This one deprecates the present style -of dress because “it does away with the mystery in women, which is -greatly against their own interests.” Let the doctor calm himself—woman -will always be enough of a mystery to keep the men busy guessing. - - * * * * * - -A Florida woman writes to the National Suffrage Association for -permission to organize a troop of cavalry women, arm them with light -rifles and send them to the Legislature to get a suffrage bill. The -Southern women have been rather slow to get started but when they do -they will go on horseback where the Northern women have gone on foot. - - * * * * * - -The chivalry of medieval times was of poor quality compared with the -brand they have in Kansas. A man out there was too chivalrous to stand -as candidate for an office when he found his opponent was a woman. This -is a vast improvement on going to war with your lady’s handkerchief on -the point of your spear. - - * * * * * - -On the adjournment of Congress, when the men who had been fighting each -other for months and using language that had to be expunged from the -_Record_ fell on one another’s necks and wept and sang “Blest be the tie -that binds”—it was then the women in the gallery realized that their sex -is far too emotional and hysterical ever to make the laws for the -nation. - - * * * * * - -Alexander Graham Bell says in his letter on eugenics, “Always remember -that you are marrying a family, not a person.” Alas, yes; and if you -forget it you are very apt to be reminded of it afterward. - - * * * * * - -Now that President Wilson has received Colonel Harvey and Colonel -Watterson with open arms he ought to be ready to do the Abraham act with -the suffragists. - - * * * * * - -It cost $11.40 a piece to register voters in Greater New York for the -spring election. Will those who are clamoring for a referendum of the -suffrage question to women themselves at a special election please state -who will foot the bill? - - * * * * * - -Dr. Mary Walker is greatly disgusted with the suffragists for making so -much fuss to obtain a right which is already guaranteed to them under -the Constitution. If she really believes this let her try to cast a vote -at the next election. There is always room in jail for one more. - - * * * * * - -The Anti-Suffrage Association has issued “The Woman’s Creed,” which -says, “I believe in making every effort to protect the good name of our -American men from the attacks of the suffragists.” Bless their soft, -little hearts! One would think from their literator that the suffragists -hadn’t any men of their own that they would fight to the last ditch for -if necessary. What the “antis” should do is to protect men from the -blandishments of the suffragists after their votes. - - * * * * * - -As man has only fourteen pockets in his clothes the tailors are now -putting in another, a secret one, where he can hide his money from his -wife. As it is only the size of a watch pocket she won’t grudge him the -contents; besides she will know where it is located almost as soon as he -does himself. - - * * * * * - -An “inspired” article says that there are signs of a revolt among the -wives in nearly all the royal families of Europe and that “it is because -the ideas of Mrs. Pankhurst have permeated the circles of royalty.” If -Mrs. Pankhurst had accomplished no more than this, she would deserve all -the honors her followers claim for her. - - * * * * * - -The president of a New York club said in her address to the City -Federation the other day, “You neglect culture and buzz around too much; -you should set aside ten minutes every day to meditate on something -refining and ennobling.” Like that speech, for instance; but isn’t ten -minutes a day an awful lot of time to spend on culture? - - * * * * * - -The 140,000 members of the Woman Suffrage Party in New York City are -balloting for their officers in the different districts. The -Anti-Suffrage State Society announces that it is increasing at the rate -of one thousand a month. This proves that in one hundred and forty -months it will catch up with the city party, provided the latter doesn’t -add any new members. - - * * * * * - -The most important thing in regard to the candidacy of that woman from -Kansas who is running for Congress is that it shows there is no -constitutional barrier to women members of Congress. All they have to do -is to get elected. - - * * * * * - -The anti-feminists have always related with great joy that it is the -female mosquito which does the biting, but scientists have now learned -that the reason the male of the species refrains is because he has -nothing to bite with. - - * * * * * - -At the next registration in Montana after women were enfranchised, there -was a sprinting match to see who would be enrolled first; but sad to -relate it was won by the two leaders of the anti-suffrage movement. - - * * * * * - -A fashion periodical offers a large salary to a young man who -understands the entire subject of a woman’s clothes and can edit a -woman’s magazine. As has been often remarked, women are invading men’s -domain and crowding them out of their legitimate work! - - * * * * * - -The first Anti-Suffrage Association in the United States or any other -country was organized in Massachusetts in 1884. It has labored -diligently ever since with the excellent result that both houses of the -Legislature have voted by immense majorities to submit the question to -the electors. If the “antis” will do their level best, it may pull -through at the polls. - - * * * * * - -Dr. Hugh Cabot, of Puritan Boston, says that “if women want men to -reform, they must cease to tempt them.” Maybe so, the poor things! but -how did they ever happen to be called “the stronger sex”? - - * * * * * - -The Guidon Anti-Suffrage Club of New York is devoting itself to a study -of the Bible. Nobody needs the consolations of religion quite so much -just now as the anti-suffragists. - - * * * * * - -That dull thud which was heard in the direction of Springfield, Ill., -was Senator Shaw, of Decatur, being dropped from his committee -chairmanships because he presented a resolution to repeal the woman -suffrage law. - - * * * * * - -The wife of Congressman Taylor, of Colorado, says the women of that -State have found that it does not take as long to vote as it does to -match a piece of silk. It is to be hoped not or the worst fears of the -“antis” as to the neglect of the home and family would be more than -realized. - - * * * * * - -Sir Almoth Wright says that women ask for the suffrage because they -“have not been taught the defects and limitations of the feminine mind.” -This is not because Sir A. W. and men of his stripe haven’t wasted a -good deal of more or less valuable time pointing them out; but in -another chapter he says, “Failure to recognize that man is the master -lies at the root of the suffrage movement,” and to this the women plead -guilty when they can stop laughing. - - * * * * * - -The French courts have decided that a married woman may spend as much on -clothes as the rent of her home. If she lived in New York she could -dress like the Queen of Sheba. - - * * * * * - -The big council of the Chippewas in Wisconsin recently declared for -woman suffrage. The Indians know what it is to be without a vote; they -are not like the chesty white men, who never did a thing to earn one and -therefore don’t want to share it. - - * * * * * - -A New York paper said, after the recent primary elections, that “the -people seemed inflexibly determined not to rule.” Before this statement -is accepted give that half of the people a chance who have been trying -to get it since 1848. - - * * * * * - -Miss Ida Tarbell says, “I don’t take much interest in magazines for -women only, as I am incapable of differentiating women from the human -race.” It is only when it comes to having the right of individual -representation that Miss Tarbell would differentiate women from the rest -of the human race. - - * * * * * - -At the anti-suffrage headquarters opened in Washington at the time of -the parade they announced that during the first four days two thousand -persons registered. Some of the suffrage mathematicians figured out that -this would mean a registration of more than one person every minute for -eight hours of every day—a manifest absurdity. It seems sometimes as if -the sole object of the suffragists was to be disagreeable. - - * * * * * - -The Sir Almoth Wright who has recently written a book on woman suffrage -which can’t be mentioned in good society is the same individual who last -year put forth a treatise against taking a bath; but really he should -have allowed an exception after reading his book. - - * * * * * - -The “antis” say that when legislators favor woman suffrage because they -think the women will vote for them, they forget the women who don’t want -it and will vote against them to get even. True, and they don’t take -into account what a tremendous power these women are already with their -“indirect influence.” - - * * * * * - -The egg crop is said to be worth as much to the country financially as -the cotton crop and far more than the wheat crop, and women to be -responsible for nine-tenths of the poultry crop. It might also be said -that the hens are responsible for all of it but they don’t belong to the -sex that does the crowing. - - * * * * * - -What are the women coming to? A man jumps up in the midst of an eloquent -speech by the president of the National Suffrage Association and asks -her to marry him, and she answers that she would rather have a vote than -a husband! The time was when a woman would rather have a husband; but -then she never had had a chance to know the value of a vote. - - * * * * * - -According to the society notes our women will now have to wear gowns -made by American dressmakers: All right; it doesn’t matter who makes a -woman’s dress if only they will make enough of it. - - * * * * * - -Sensible women are terribly mortified sometimes as they look at the -fashion illustrations in the Sunday papers, but when they turn to the -next page and see the baseball pictures they feel that in the ridiculous -women have been outclassed. - - * * * * * - -Mrs. Havelock Ellis, an English woman lecturing in this country, advises -all women to refuse to kiss their husbands until they get the suffrage. -This would be somewhat risky, as getting the suffrage is a slow process -and meanwhile the husbands might go elsewhere for their kisses. - - * * * * * - -“Let us, oh, let us hold fast to monogamy!” wail the “antis.” -“Scientists believe it is the normal and natural relationship of -humans.” Then don’t be alarmed, for even woman suffrage cannot entirely -destroy what is natural and normal. One husband, one wife. All right. -Now let every “anti” catch a husband—if she can. - - * * * * * - -The leader of the suffrage forces in Chicago says that “to appeal to -American men’s sense of justice is all women have to do in order to -obtain fair dealing,” and the Indianapolis _News_ comments: “That’s the -way to get results—flatter the brutes!” Yes, the Michigan women recently -tried it and they got results all right. - - * * * * * - -No, the public has been too thoroughly hardened by the present styles in -women’s dress to be frightened at anything that may happen if hoop -skirts come in again. - - * * * * * - -Boston’s new mayor has dismissed all the women employes from the office, -on the ground that “it is not a fit place for women.” Probably he knows -what kind of a place it is going to be from now on. - - * * * * * - -In a temperance play running in New York the husband asks, “Where is my -wandering wife tonight?” The answer of course should be, “At a suffrage -meeting,” for women never neglect their homes for any other purpose. - - * * * * * - -A good many people always seem to be in doubt, along at inauguration -time, as to how the great Jefferson got up to the Capitol. It is to be -hoped the gentleman himself knew whether he was afoot or on horseback on -that auspicious occasion. - - * * * * * - -The anti-suffragists have issued a ton or so of literature to show that -the constitution of women can never endure the nervous strain of voting. -Now the presidents of the State medical associations in all the States -where women have been voting from two to forty-five years have signed a -statement that if anything has happened to their constitutions their -family physicians haven’t discovered it. The “antis” are playing in hard -luck—every time they start out a nice little theory it runs up against a -fact and is smashed to splinters. - - * * * * * - -Some time ago the women of Larned, Kan., met and resolved to use -horsewhips on the professional gamblers if they did not leave the town. -Now they have not exactly turned their spears into pruning hooks, but -they have exchanged their horsewhips for ballots, and when they tell the -gamblers to leave town they will gather up their outfit and go. - - * * * * * - -Some men are making an effort nowadays to scare women out of their -independence by letting them stand in the street cars; but the women -answer that they are better able to stand than many of the men they see -sitting down, and that, according to statistics, a woman has a good many -more years to ride on street cars than men have. - - * * * * * - -“We stand for an economic system which will enable every man to support -a family so that women need not go outside the home to work,” say the -Socialists. A good idea; but suppose some men wouldn’t use their -earnings that way, and some women would rather work outside and support -themselves than to do the same amount of work inside and have to be -supported? - - * * * * * - -“The action of the Federation of Clubs at their biennial, indorsing -woman suffrage,” says Mrs. Dodge, national president of the “antis,” -“was a clear case of gag rule in a packed convention.” Well, if the -suffragists could “pack” a convention to the extent of ninety-eight per -cent. and “gag” two thousand delegates they are certainly almost clever -enough to vote. - - * * * * * - -The woman who recently climbed to the top of Harvard Glacier in Alaska -is a strong suffragist. Seems as if it would have to be a cold day when -she was not able to go to the polls. - - * * * * * - -New York’s Alderman Quinn objects to woman suffrage because it would -make monkeys of the men. Don’t worry—a lot of them haven’t waited for -woman suffrage. - - * * * * * - -A young “efficiency expert” in Chicago tells his audiences that because -a woman’s heart is in matrimony she is and always will be a failure in -business. Give her a chance, son! Business is a matter of the head. - - * * * * * - -Under the English poor law medicine cannot be supplied to a sick wife -unless her husband makes application for it, and if he can’t or won’t -support her the almshouse will not receive her unless he will come -along. To understand the reason for the suffragette movement over there, -read the laws. - - * * * * * - -Those clever antis! What wonderful research work they are doing! Having -discovered that woman suffrage has led to polygamy in Wyoming, Colorado, -Idaho, Washington, Oregon, California, Arizona, Kansas, Nevada, Montana -and Illinois, they have now found, according to their official -statement, that it means “the deliberate return to savagery.” Alas, yes! -one can hear the war whoops even now—they sound like the suffragists -celebrating a victory! - - * * * * * - -Frenchmen often express great sympathy for the wife-ruled American -husband, but they can’t point to a case over here where wives have a -quarrel and then stand their husbands up to fight a duel in order to -settle it. - - * * * * * - -Congress treats women better than their forefathers did, for rather than -pay taxes they destroyed the women’s favorite beverage—tea—and held onto -rum; but Congress has taxed beer and whiskey to the limit and left the -women their soft drinks. - - * * * * * - -The New York _Tribune_ congratulates the country that the American woman -is not trying to be a man. The very idea! As if women, having almost -reached the top step, would deliberately turn around and tumble to the -bottom! - - * * * * * - -The-anti-suffragists have declared officially that they “recognize man -as the head of the nation’s household.” All right, he is welcome to sit -at the head of the table; but that doesn’t mean that the rest of the -family must not have anything to eat. - - * * * * * - -The Chicago _American_ allows the women to get out a “suffrage” edition -and they clean up a neat little profit of $15,000 for the “cause.” The -New York Hippodrome gives the suffragists a benefit performance and -their treasury can’t hold the profits. Seems as if we never hear of any -anti-suffrage special editions or theater benefits. Wouldn’t anybody buy -or go? - - * * * * * - -All the pilots and captains on the Panama Canal are now required to be -teetotalers. Pretty soon they will be forbidden to swear, and then -Colonel Goethals will have to get women to run his boats. - - * * * * * - -President John Adams is said to have declared that “politics are the -devil’s own,” but that was when “they” belonged entirely to the -masculine half of the population. - - * * * * * - -A London physical-culture professor has announced that it is possible -for every woman to have as perfect a figure as the Venus de Milo. If it -is to be so common as that, the most of them would prefer to look like -somebody else. - - * * * * * - -They do say that out in those Western States husband and wife frequently -vote the same ticket to avoid discord in the family, but it is not -always the ticket which the husband thought he was going to vote when -they began discussing the matter. - - * * * * * - -A number of States have enacted a law that men who are physically unable -to get to the polls may send their ballots by mail. This should dispose -of the objection that the franchise must not be given to women because -so much of the time they would not be well enough to go to the polling -place. Incidentally, if men are not able to get to the polls, they are -not able to fight, and therefore, if women must not be allowed to vote -because they cannot fight, then these incapacitated men should be -disfranchised. - - * * * * * - -The National Women’s Anti-Suffrage Association announces that it spent -less than $10,000 in the seven campaign States last fall. Why should it -waste even that much good money when the other branches of the -opposition were amply able to furnish hundreds of thousands and did so? - - * * * * * - -“Oh, suffragists, do you know that if you succeed the future men will be -one-sided mongrels in nature and education, having had two fathers and -no mother?” (Anti-suffrage document.) Good gracious! Just to think -they’ve got ‘em like that in those Western States, and the rest of the -country doesn’t even know it! - - * * * * * - -When the women of a certain church in Brooklyn ask for a voice in its -affairs they are told that St. Paul commanded women to keep silent in -the churches; but when they take up the calendar Sunday morning they -find a request from the deacons to take off their hats. They are now -insisting that Paul and the deacons come to an understanding. - - * * * * * - -Leaders of the anti-suffragists insist that women shall not be -enfranchised against their protest, but when all the big organizations -of women in the country are asking for it, who is making the protest? -What is the matter with that ninety per cent. the antis claim to -represent that they can’t speak up? Ninety per cent. can make a great -deal more noise than ten. - - * * * * * - -President Wilson said the last session of Congress accomplished so much -simply by “sawing wood.” He was careful not to add, “and saying -nothing.” - - * * * * * - -John Redmond and his followers want home rule for Ireland but they don’t -intend that those who rule the home shall have any part in it. - - * * * * * - -The entire State of Kansas is quarantined because of the foot-and-mouth -disease. This is the strongest argument against woman suffrage that the -“antis” have been able to find for a long time. - - * * * * * - -“Persons who try to stop the woman suffrage movement,” said a Chicago -elections commissioner, “are in the position of a man throwing himself -in front of a locomotive.” Well, they always expect that the bosses who -run the political machines will apply the brake. - - * * * * * - -The latest government report from New Zealand, where women have voted -twenty-one years, shows that, while the population has doubled in thirty -years, the number of men in prison has increased only from 631 to 853, -and the number of women prisoners has decreased from 94 to 64. It seems -from these figures that woman suffrage in New Zealand did not double the -criminal vote and did not produce a reign of anarchy and crime. Perhaps -it is only in the United States and in those of the States where it has -never been tried that it will have this effect. Still the “antis” should -bolster up their charge with a statistic or two. - - * * * * * - -The Keith and Proctor circuits forbid any burlesquing of the -suffragists. That’s right, and the anti-suffragists give their own -continuous vaudeville performances. - - * * * * * - -One little woman in the big Woolworth Building in New York manages the -electrical apparatus for running twenty-eight elevators—and yet some -people think a woman hasn’t nerve enough to drop a ballot in a box. - - * * * * * - -Gertrude Atherton says, “Women politicians will be just like men -politicians—no better, no worse.” We knew, of course, that they couldn’t -be any—well, we had hoped they might prove to be a little better. - - * * * * * - -“Young women,” said Representative Bowdle, of Cincinnati, in the -suffrage debate, “will beware of this movement, which positively -destroys all feminine charm and deters young men from marriage.” (Loud -applause by the sixty-seven married members from the twelve States where -women vote.) - - * * * * * - -Before and after taking was strikingly illustrated by the Missouri -Legislature in its action on the woman-suffrage amendment. The senate -adjourned to the assembly chamber to hear the women present their case. -The committee reported unanimously in favor. Both houses adopted the -report by large majorities. Then St. Louis suddenly got busy and the -Legislature rescinded its action! It heard its master’s voice! - - * * * * * - -By a new law voters in Nebraska can send their ballots through the mail -when necessary. This answers the question, Who will care for the baby -when mother votes? Mother will and Uncle Sam will deposit her ballot. -Anti-suffs knocked out again! - - * * * * * - -The doctors are now admonishing the women that if they keep on with the -present style of tight-fitting hats and headbands nothing can save them -from baldness. Women have been listening to this kind of prophecy for -several generations and yet have kept their hair on; but when they look -about they observe that nearly all the men are baldheaded. - - * * * * * - -Representatives of nearly all the organizations of women in Chicago are -demanding that places shall be given to women on the boards of -education, of parks and of libraries. How can they do it when they see -how splendidly all matters connected with the municipality are managed -by men? Women don’t seem to be showing that old-time admiration and -trust which used to be their greatest charm. - - * * * * * - -The Simple Life and Open Air Exposition in London is exhibiting the -Fully Furnished Man, who carries on his person all the necessities of -life except food. That is nothing to be proud of. All the other animals -have done this ever since they ceased to belong to the vegetable -kingdom. The only difficulty will be to keep this new kind of man out of -civilized society. - - * * * * * - -Why try to get acquainted with the people on Mars, when we have so -little time to give to those we know on earth? - - * * * * * - -It is charged that 46,000 men have deserted from the regular army during -the last ten years. Should women who are willing to fight but can’t be -disfranchised on that account, while men who can fight but won’t are -freely granted the vote? - - * * * * * - -One of the Western railroads has placed a woman in charge of its dining -car and the customary howl at women’s usurping the work of men is now in -order. To be sure having charge of a dining-room has always been -considered a woman’s business but that was only when there was no salary -attached. - - * * * * * - -“We must abolish everything that bears even the semblance of privilege,” -is the Wilson slogan. Thanks, Mr. President. Will you kindly get -yourself into a state of mind where you can see that the possession of -the suffrage by only one-half the people is about the most iniquitous -privilege that could exist? - - * * * * * - -Mrs. Dodge, president of the Anti-Suffrage Association, wants to go into -the fight against suffrage in the next presidential campaign with -500,000 women at her back. All right; she will need every one of them. -But what is to become of the half-million families while the wives and -mothers are marching on to victory behind Mrs. Dodge? - - * * * * * - -“Bustles” for women are to be the fashion this spring. Thanks for the -prospect of even that much relief to the helpless onlookers. - - * * * * * - -Mr. Croker’s Indian bride says she cannot be a “squaw” until she is a -mother. Oh, yes; first a squall then a squaw. - - * * * * * - -“The pay here,” said Mayor Curley, of Boston, in dismissing all the -women in his office, “is quite sufficient to maintain a man.” Then how -on earth did women ever happen to get the jobs? - - * * * * * - -“Behind the skirts of suffragism,” says an official statement of the -“antis,” “Mormonism goes to the polls, socialism marches red and rampant -on the streets, and feminism stalks and swaggers in our homes.” The -old-fashioned thing—to wear skirts so wide as all that! - - * * * * * - -The Alimony Club of divorced husbands in New York are howling loud and -long because the court has ruled that they must continue the payment of -alimony even though they are kept in prison and can’t earn a dollar. -Another crowd who are out of jail are rending the air because they have -to pay alimony just the same after their former spouses have wedded -again. The fair divorcees answer that since only men are considered -competent to make the laws or even to elect the lawmakers, they have no -right to kick against the results. Its awful the little respect women -show nowadays for the superior wisdom of men! - - * * * * * - -It is rather late in the day to warn women against being “jostled at the -polls.” That is about the only place where they would not get jostled. - - * * * * * - -Paris is tired of the tango. Public opinion caused it to be danced too -respectably. It may hold on awhile in the United States, we can stand a -considerable amount of respectability, but not too much when it becomes -unfashionable. - - * * * * * - -No, Ethelyn, Lu Lu Temple is not the name of a woman suffrage -headquarters. It is the rendezvous of an ancient and honorable body of -men in Philadelphia, where they think women are too frivolous to vote. - - * * * * * - -Arkansas has now been added to the list of “dry” States by action of its -Legislature and Wisconsin requires a health certificate from would-be -bridegrooms. No woman suffrage in either State. Really the men are -getting so good nowadays there will be nobody for women to reform when -they obtain the ballot. - - * * * * * - -The superintendent of public schools in Cincinnati will start “a six -months’ course of study for prospective brides,” and besides all the -usual housekeeping stunts they will be taught to calk a water pipe, put -up shelves, mend door knobs, etc. If he isn’t careful he will create a -prospect that will scare all the girls away from matrimony. Women can be -so many things nowadays besides carpenters and plumbers. - - * * * * * - -The New York _Tribune_ says, “Another ten years and the clinging vine -will be only a moist and tender memory.” What a fortunate thing for the -oak! - - * * * * * - -The sphygmograph is the invention of a woman doctor and the person who -wears it cannot tell a lie, even to his wife. Something of this sort was -bound to happen when women were permitted to enter the medical -profession. - - * * * * * - -“Feminism is the process of putting father out of business,” is a -specimen anti-suffrage epigram. If feminism means that able-bodied young -women shall earn their own living, perhaps father will have a chance to -get something ahead for his old age. - - * * * * * - -The Reno _Gazette_ in its fight against the suffrage amendment said that -when a straw vote of the women was taken in 1895 in Massachusetts, they -declared against enfranchisement 38 to 1. Suppose they did—what has that -to do with the women of Nevada in 1914? The fact is, however, that the -women voted in favor of it 25 to 1. Next! - - * * * * * - -And so the anti-suffrage ladies are going into the thick of the -congressional fray to help elect the men who will promise not to give -them a vote! It is now in order for them to get up a street parade and -then the suffragists won’t have a thing on them—they will have done -everything they were afraid they might have to do if enfranchised and -they haven’t got the ballot as a compensation for doing it. The joke is -on them. - - * * * * * - -The ancient question, “Could women voters work out their road tax?” has -been answered by two in Iowa. They did worse, for they won two out of -three prizes offered by the county for work on highways. It was all -right for them to do the work but very wrong for them to win the prizes. - - * * * * * - -“Women never could serve on the police force,” an anti-suffragist rushes -into print to declare. “Could frail woman withstand, year in and year -out, the severe climatic changes constantly occurring?” Well, several -million of her do, as they start out each morning to earn their daily -bread. - - * * * * * - -The “antis” are dreadfully vexed at the suffragists because of their -reported attempts to convert the women public-school teachers, the women -in the government departments, the women wage-earners and women in -divers other capacities. Putting it mildly they are like the schoolboy -who wrote, “To sum up Daniel Webster’s character—it is one which I do -not approve!” - - * * * * * - -Some awful things are promised in the season’s styles for man. They are -to be more expensive, which will require him to owe his tailor more than -ever. Evening trousers are to be very loose so that he can perpetrate -the tango and turkey trot without accident. For the rest of the day the -clothes are to be very tight so as to show the natural form, and this is -where the public will start a suffragette movement. - - * * * * * - -Do not criticise Mr. Bryan because he said nothing new in regard to -woman suffrage. Everything that could be said was said long ago but -until recently the political ears were very deaf and very long. - - * * * * * - -In Chicago, before the women took a hand, the disposal of the garbage -cost the city $4,000 a month; now it nets a profit of $2,000 a month, -and yet people wonder why the grafters are so dead set against votes for -women. - - * * * * * - -The various parties seem to be having a hard time with the “political -uplift.” Some day it will occur to them that until women lend a hand -they will be trying to lift themselves by their bootstraps. - - * * * * * - -They opened a big hotel in Los Angeles a few months ago for men only, -and already they announce that henceforth women also will be welcomed as -patrons. Funny, isn’t it, when hotels for women only are flourishing all -over the country, that the men couldn’t flock alone in a single one? - - * * * * * - -Before the last committee hearing on woman suffrage in Washington, Mrs. -Dodge, national president of the “antis,” announced that the members of -Congress had been sufficiently bored, so to speak, and her forces would -not appear. The love of the limelight was too strong, however, and there -they were in the center of the stage, singing the old, sweet song, -“Woman’s place is at home in the bosom of her family.” - - * * * * * - -The turkey trot and bunny hug have been replaced by the goose waddle, -which is really much more indicative of those who dance it. - - * * * * * - -“Love is a disease,” says a Chicago doctor, “called anaphylaxis—lack of -resistance.” This is merely a trick of the profession to increase the -number of their patients, but the Chicago girls dare them to try to cure -it. - - * * * * * - -A booth was built in New York City in a district where only three men -voted, yet members of the Legislature object to giving suffrage to women -because it would require more voting booths. Who helps to pay for those -the men use? - - * * * * * - -The anti-suffragists have been so busy during the campaign running -political headquarters and making speeches for the candidates they -haven’t had a minute to tell the suffragists that a woman’s place is at -home and that women are wholly unfitted for politics. It will be -somewhat embarrassing for them to resume business at the old stand and -hear the suffragists jeer. - - * * * * * - -When United States Senator Burton, of Ohio, landed from a trip to Europe -not long ago and was asked the inevitable question about woman suffrage, -he said, “I do not care even to express an opinion on such a subordinate -issue.” Now he says that of course he is going to vote for it in his -State. It is taking a mean advantage for reporters to corral a great -statesman on the dock before he finds out what has happened in his -absence. - - * * * * * - -The Rothchilds are said to have given $15,000 to the British -Anti-Suffrage Association. The vote in the hands of women would prove a -strong factor in preventing the wars of the future. - - * * * * * - -Colonel Henry Watterson declares that he has “written more times and at -greater length against woman suffrage than any other editor.” Maybe he -has and maybe that is the reason it is making such rapid progress in his -own State. - - * * * * * - -California University girls eat ten tons of candy a year, according to -reports; but the boys of that institution can’t prove that they are the -sweetest things on earth until candy statistics from the other colleges -come in. - - * * * * * - -Women’s place is at home. Wives must make the home so attractive that -husbands will never want to go out evenings. Children must be kept off -the street. All very good; but how is the whole family to stay at home -at the same time in a city flat of the average size? - - * * * * * - -The moving-picture shows are making a specialty of films depicting the -newly enfranchised women of the Western States in the act of going to -the polls and voting, but strange to say there is not a single -illustration of the awful things that were going to happen when this -catastrophe took place. It seems odd that after the terrible predictions -of fifty years the scene should look much like a procession going to -church—except that there are more men in it. - - * * * * * - -“How To Be ‘Smart’ Though Middle-aged” is the title of an article that -is going the rounds. The smartest thing the middle-aged can do is to -recognize that they are middle-aged and act accordingly, and this -applies to men as well as women. - - * * * * * - -No woman nowadays makes the promise to obey in the marriage service with -the slightest intention of keeping it, so why compel her to prevaricate -to the minister? Let her reserve that privilege to use with her husband. - - * * * * * - -The courts of Missouri have decided that a husband cannot be arrested -for burning up his wife’s clothes, as they are his, not hers; but after -his wife learned of this decision the man soon found himself in jail for -disturbing the peace. - - * * * * * - -“Man is the natural protector of woman,” shouted several thousand of the -species as they attacked the suffrage parade in Washington. “Man is the -natural protector of woman,” echoed the policemen as they turned their -backs. - - * * * * * - -The “antis” ask why the suffragists are not afraid to trust men with the -musket in time of war, but are afraid to trust them with the ballot? -Bless you, nobody wants to take the ballot away from them; but the -suffragists can’t see how a man can represent more than one person with -one ballot, and, besides, some of them haven’t got any man, and they -think it isn’t fair to be deprived of both the man and the vote. - - * * * * * - -Recently, at an anti-suffrage meeting in one of those wonderfully -progressive towns for which Connecticut is noted, forty ladies signed a -remonstrance against giving other women something which this immortal -forty did not want for themselves. Where was Ali Baba with his oil can? - - * * * * * - -When the women watched that crowd of men in Madison Square Garden cheer -and howl and whoop and yell an hour and a half for one candidate, and -the next night a similar crowd go through the same performance the same -length of time for another candidate, they fully realized that women are -too emotional for political life. - - * * * * * - -A great editor criticises the Washington suffragists severely because -they reserved so many rooms for the out-of-town paraders that the -inaugural committee couldn’t find enough for its marchers. “They lost a -great opportunity to win the new administration by unselfishness and -sacrifice,” he said, and the women haven’t quit laughing yet. - - * * * * * - -The president of the Woman’s Club at Boise, Idaho, where they have had -equal suffrage for nearly twenty years, says that “nothing puts the fear -of God into the hearts of men like the ballot in the hands of women.” -Yes, a certain class of men feel much more comfortable to know that -women are using the beautiful, indirect influence of prayers and tears. - - * * * * * - -Sir Almoth Wright says the advocates of equal pay for women do not know -the commercial value of having the employe work shoulder to shoulder -with the employer. Yes? No? What about the good-looking stenographer? - - * * * * * - -The President of France is considering the proposal to decorate with the -Cross of the Legion of Honor the mother of twenty-two children. -Something that could be exchanged for twenty-two pairs of shoes would be -more appropriate. - - * * * * * - -Seven girl students of Leland Stanford University have just been elected -to Phi Beta Kappa and not one of the boys, although they outnumber the -girls two to one. Comment would be impolite, not to say unfeeling. - - * * * * * - -New York women have announced that the day for women’s “auxiliaries” is -past, and Chicago women have given notice to the men of that city that -they will not serve on any more “sub” committees. Really, that -Declaration of Independence of 1776 begins to seem like rather a weak -document. - - * * * * * - -Perish the thought that a minister of the Gospel—and especially a -woman—should contest with a horse race! But when the Rev. Anna Shaw, -president of the National Suffrage Association, began speaking from an -automobile behind the grand-stand at the Wisconsin State Fair, the whole -crowd climbed down to hear her and forgot all about the races. - - * * * * * - -First fruits of woman suffrage! A San Francisco wife has just been -granted a divorce because her husband talked too much! - - * * * * * - -Dr. Mary Walker advises girls to put on trousers. They might not be so -pretty but they would certainly be more modest than those things women -are now wearing. - - * * * * * - -The scientific world is highly excited over the report of the birth of -an atom. Its chief interest to women is the effect it will have on their -getting the suffrage, as the public insists on connecting this in some -way with the birth rate. - - * * * * * - -The Buffalo _Express_, commenting on the public schools teaching boys to -sew, says: “Quite necessary! For how will the women of the future get -their gowns, if men do not learn to sew?” They can get them just as they -do now—from the male dressmakers who got onto the woman’s job as soon as -there was any money in it. - - * * * * * - -Women have a good deal to learn about politics. There was the woman -candidate for mayor of San Diego, who announced that her first act if -elected would be to put through an ordinance taxing bachelors. Naturally -the bachelors all voted against her; the benedicts did the same because -they didn’t want the bachelors to feel that there was such an easy -escape from marriage, and the women turned her down because they thought -she was quite capable of levying a tax on spinsters. - - * * * * * - -The public has borne with some fortitude the close-fitting garb of -women—it has had its compensations; but now that the National -Association of Clothing Designers has decreed that men’s clothes also -must be tight fitting—well, if the police fail to do their duty the -common people must rise up. - - * * * * * - -The Supreme Court of Illinois has decided that the women of that State -may vote for President but not for county commissioners. If they had a -choice, they would much prefer to vote for the commissioners, whose work -comes a great deal nearer home to them; but the party “bosses” would -rather trust them to vote for President as there is no local graft in -that office. - - * * * * * - -The national anti-suffrage president says, “The extent to which suffrage -agitation detracts from charitable enterprises is appalling.” How can -this be when that lady herself assures us that the suffragists represent -less than ten per cent. of the women? Ninety per cent. surely ought to -be sufficient to do the charitable work, if they can spare the time from -chasing after the suffragists. - - * * * * * - -Some men are organizing a pneumatic-tube system through which from a -central kitchen hot meals can be shot to any part of the city day or -night. Women sometimes wonder whether men intend to leave them any -domestic duties. About the only thing untouched is the nursery, but a -man has invented an electric cradle that rocks itself, so woman will -have to find some other way to move the world. - - * * * * * - -A Kansas City judge has ruled that under certain circumstances wives may -lie to their husbands. The latter never waited for any judicial -decision. - - * * * * * - -From the fuss made about Dr. Anna Shaw’s shaking her fist during a -suffrage speech one would think it was the size of a sledgehammer, while -really it is about as big as a little red apple. - - * * * * * - -A record has been unearthed in London, showing that women used to be -plumbers in 1500. Very likely; but that was before the business became -so profitable that only men were competent to engage in it. - - * * * * * - -The manager of the largest vaudeville circuit in the country has issued -orders that there must be no more jokes at the expense of the -woman-suffrage movement. Lovers of humor need not be discouraged, -however, for the literary bureau of the Anti-Suffrage Association will -still continue to issue its bulletins. - - * * * * * - -Dr. Geisel, president of Shorter College, Georgia, says that -institutions of higher education interfere with women’s natural destiny. -Chancellor Day, of Syracuse University, says if college women don’t -marry it is because their marriage standard is higher and they are not -finding men fitted for fatherhood. As all the colleges can’t be -abolished in order to lower women’s ideal of marriage, it looks as if -something will have to be done to bring men up to the new standard. - - * * * * * - -Husband applied for a divorce because his wife was “absolutely -independent.” Judge granted it and he started off to find a dear little -dependent who would give him a sort of manly feeling. - - * * * * * - -King Alfonso is said to have become an advocate of woman’s rights under -the influence of his British Queen. Can’t she be spared long enough to -go home and try her hand on Cousin George? - - * * * * * - -Young and impecunious members of the nobility may now be rented out for -afternoon tea in London. This is not a bad use to make of them, but they -could command a higher price in New York and Washington. - - * * * * * - -Is one reason why so many men oppose woman suffrage because they are -afraid their wives would obey St. Paul’s injunction to ask of their -husbands at home when they wanted information and questions on political -issues might prove embarrassing? - - * * * * * - -At the suffrage hearing before the Massachusetts Legislature the “antis” -evidently got their Irish up, as Molly Maguire called equal suffrage -“the most deadly menace that ever faced the State,” and Joseph Murphy -said, “I am one of a family of fourteen children and my mother didn’t -need any vote to do it.” Perhaps it wouldn’t have been safe, as she was -such a “repeater;” but Pa Murphy’s chest must have swelled with pride -when he went to the polls on election morning and represented sixteen -people with one ballot. - - * * * * * - -“The Silent Woman,” an ancient play, has been resurrected, perhaps as a -reminder of something gone forever. The anti-suffragists used to claim -that title, but if they are not making as much noise as the suffragists -nowadays it is only because there are not nearly so many of them. - - * * * * * - -At the recent election in Louisiana the men voted down a constitutional -amendment to allow women to serve on school and charity boards, and the -election officers in New Orleans were so afraid it might slip through -that seventeen were indicted for “padding” the returns against it. -Doubtless they intended this simply as an act of chivalry. - - * * * * * - -Governor Marshall, of Indiana, said recently to the Council of Women in -Indianapolis, “There is not a working woman in this city doing an honest -work who is not more important to this State than the Governor.” Funny -he should talk like that when the women there can’t vote; but he only -confirmed the suspicions they had had for some time. - - * * * * * - -The Anti-Suffrage Association sends out a press bulletin saying, “We -object to being called away from uplifting the world through the old -channels of education and religion to assist in uplifting it by the -doubtful channels of the ballot box.” They need not leave their job for -it is such a big one that if derricks are erected in both channels it -will still be necessary to call for outside help. - - * * * * * - -Prime Minister Asquith is caricatured by _Punch_ as Mona Lisa with the -smile that won’t come off. To the suffragists he looks more like the cat -that swallowed the canary. - - * * * * * - -“The clinging-vine type of women will continue to multiply,” we are -assured by those who claim to know. Well, that is a very good business, -since they don’t seem to be able to do anything else. - - * * * * * - -In all the New York public-school gymnasiums the number of girls exceeds -the number of boys. This does not indicate that the girls are preparing -to be militant suffragists but only that the boys would rather smoke -cigarettes and shoot craps. - - * * * * * - -Secretary of State Bryan says he wouldn’t feel sure of the support of -women as they did not vote for him when he was a candidate; but he must -remember that he hadn’t discovered then that he was in favor of woman -suffrage. - - * * * * * - -Admiral Chadwick’s recent assertion that “women teachers develop in boys -a feminized, emotional, illogical manhood” is receiving some support -from great editors. It is very peculiar that mothers have always been -taught that their finest work is to train their boys for the highest -duties of citizenship, and yet if these same boys spend a few hours each -day in school with women teachers they are ruined for life. Is it only -when there is a salary attached that a woman’s teaching becomes -dangerous? - - * * * * * - -That ancient skull found in England proves conclusively, so the -anthropologists say, that man had reason before he spoke. Well, well! -What a revolution has taken place since those prehistoric days! - - * * * * * - -A Paris jeweler has invented a ring to be worn by the divorced—two -marriage rings intertwined in the form of a cross. Very inappropriate, -when the wearers have just laid down their cross. - - * * * * * - -A Russian woman has just started to explore an Arabian desert of -thousands of miles, which no European has ever entered. How thankful she -should be that the heavy burden of casting a ballot has not been imposed -on her! - - * * * * * - -The first thing the women of Oregon did with their brand-new ballots was -to cast them against letting foreigners vote on their “first papers,” -which they had always done. Did somebody remark that women are too -radical to be trusted with the suffrage? - - * * * * * - -A Baptist minister in Chicago has opened in his church a school of home -training to make women more desirable for wives. That school had better -be closed by the authorities for women are so “desirable” already that -school boards, theater managers, telegraph and telephone heads, even the -government, are requiring those they employ to guarantee that they will -not marry within a specified time. A school to make women less -desirable—that is the need of the hour. - - * * * * * - -A Cincinnati legislator has introduced a bill for a commission to -“prescribe the fashions to be worn by women in the State of Ohio.” One -good thing about it would be that when it came to appointing officials -to enforce the rules not an office-seeker in the State would be left -without a job. - - * * * * * - -New York’s commissioner of corrections suggests that the one hundred and -seventy-five wife beaters on Blackwell’s Island be put to making -creosoted paving blocks. Good idea! The perfume will remind them of what -awaits them after their exit from this world of inadequate punishment. - - * * * * * - -That Englishman who was put into jail because he had no money to pay the -taxes on his wife’s property must have a poor opinion of the law-making -ability of his sex. Women couldn’t do any worse, unless they condemned -the poor husband to death. - - * * * * * - -The Norwegian Parliament first gave municipal suffrage to women -taxpayers; then gave them the Parliamentary franchise; then it removed -the taxpaying qualification for the municipal vote. Its next step was to -make them eligible for all political offices. Then it granted them the -right to speak in the State church, but would not allow them to preach; -now it proposes to let them hold the Church offices. Lastly it gave the -complete franchise to all women. There are only a few more inches to cut -off and the State is bearing up as well as could be expected. - - * * * * * - -The young men of Cairo who have returned from European universities have -begun a crusade to “emancipate” the Moslem women from the veil. Let us -believe they are wholly disinterested. - - * * * * * - -A woman who kept a grocery wanted to decorate her show windows in the -anti-suffrage colors but she had no American Beauty roses, so she put in -a lot of red lobsters. To make it still more appropriate she should have -added some clams. - - * * * * * - -The English government has just raised the pay of the men clerks in the -post-offices and reduced the pay of the women clerks to half that -received by the men. To be sure hatchets are no argument but sometimes -they express people’s feelings better than logic. - - * * * * * - -“Since the Prince of Wales left his mother,” say the press dispatches, -“he has become a ‘man’ in the best sense of the word. He drives his car -beyond the speed limit and is rarely seen without a pipe in his mouth.” -How fine! It shows that he is rapidly developing the qualities necessary -for a great ruler. - - * * * * * - -Seven men in one precinct in a Kansas town had to get the election -officers to mark their ballots, and all voted against the woman-suffrage -amendment. Those officials were still more obliging in some of the -Michigan towns, it is said, for they gathered up all the ballots that -were left over and voted them against this amendment. - - * * * * * - -The anti-suffragists opened their campaign at Sherry’s, in New York, the -other day; but this does not necessarily imply that they used a -corkscrew. - - * * * * * - -In many places the liquor sellers are complaining that the -moving-picture shows, where a man can take his wife and children for -five or ten cents, are ruining their business. Anything that keeps a man -with his family is an enemy to the saloon. - - * * * * * - -The latest census report shows that there are about thirty thousand more -divorced women than men in the United States. This seems to indicate -that the men get back into the married state as quickly as possible but -the women know when they have had enough. - - * * * * * - -The wild outcry of the anti-suffragists against “feminism” indicates -that they prefer masculinism for women. Let them have it, for luckily -they are not of enough importance for all womankind to be judged by what -they do and say, as is the case with the suffragists. - - * * * * * - -The California papers congratulate the State that, “whereas it was in a -ferment of suffrage meetings two years ago, now there is not the -slightest turmoil but all is peace.” This should be a lesson to other -States where the turmoil is getting worse every day and there is just -about as much peace in sight as there is in Europe. - - * * * * * - -Help, help! The pastor of the First Spiritual Church in Worcester, -Mass., has to appeal to the police for protection from “lovesick maidens -and scheming mothers.” He’d better go West, where there is not such a -scarcity of men and women can be more particular. - - * * * * * - -People used to object to letting women vote because of the publicity it -would give them; but nowadays when one sees the public stunts of the -suffragists trying to get the ballot and of the “antis” trying to -prevent it, he devoutly wishes that they might all be made voters at -once so they could retire to the privacy of their homes and families. - - * * * * * - -That big New York hotel that had to change its dainty, esthetic liquor -buffet for women into a common bar for men, because the women would not -patronize it, seems to prove two things; first, that the stories of the -drink habit among women are greatly exaggerated; and, second, that it’s -always safe to start another bar for men. - - * * * * * - -The Anti-Suffrage Society of Washington passed at vote of censure on the -Young Women’s Christian Association of that city because it allowed the -delegation of working women who called on the President to have a -paid-for luncheon in its headquarters. The members of the association -felt so badly about it that they immediately proceeded to give a circus. - - * * * * * - -South Carolina has employed three policewomen. Well, if the men insist -on electing an individual like Cole Blease for Governor, it’s up to the -women to protect the State. - - * * * * * - -The new Socialist member of Congress says he will try to have a law -passed that no workingman shall marry a wage-earning woman who has not a -union card. Wouldn’t a marriage certificate be a union card? - - * * * * * - -“For six thousand years men have been trying to run the world,” said -Speaker Clark, “and some people think they have made a bad mess of it.” -If it had been for only that brief space of time women might be willing -to let them keep on trying awhile longer. - - * * * * * - -The favorite newspaper paragraph now in referring to the cheap -suffrage-parade hats assures women that if they will wear -forty-eight-cent hats all the year round they can have anything they -want. Well, the first thing they want is for men to set the example by -wearing hats at the same price. - - * * * * * - -The Denver police records show that married men are far more law-abiding -than unmarried, and the New York City superintendent of schools says the -married women teachers are much more amenable to discipline than the -spinsters. There seems to be no doubt that marriage is the best known -means of saving grace for the unregenerate. - - * * * * * - -They say that gymnasium statistics show a steady increase in the size of -women’s waists. In that case something should be done to bring about a -steady increase in the length of men’s arms. - - * * * * * - -The anti-suffragists are having a good deal of fun because the papers -tell of a California mayor who does the family washing. Maybe he runs a -laundry. Men are doing most of the family washings nowadays. - - * * * * * - -Andre de Fouquieres, who has come over from Paris to teach American men -how to dress by lecturing at afternoon teas, says, “New York is the -finishing touch of the world.” Glad it looks that way. So many seem to -come over for the purpose of making a finishing touch. - - * * * * * - -An eminent London scientist asserts that the points which distinguish -the human race from the beasts are more marked in woman than in man. -“For instance,” he says, “her ear is more human than a man’s.” Maybe so; -certainly she doesn’t so often show the length of it. - - * * * * * - -The Fathers’ and Mothers’ Club of one of the Eastern cities farthest -along in the science of eugenics has issued instructions to young men -contemplating matrimony to study the mother, as the daughter is likely -to be an exact copy. Suppose a girl is advised to study the father on -the same principle—won’t that put an end to marriage? - - * * * * * - -Now the suffrage societies of Canada have united in a National Franchise -Association and Great Britain will soon have another lot of daughters -who can outvote their mother. - - * * * * * - -Congress is considering a bill to give the suffrage to the men of Porto -Rico. Can it be that there are any males under the jurisdiction of the -United States without a vote? Shelve all other measures before Congress -until this terrible wrong has been righted! - - * * * * * - -The women who have been running for office in those Western States have -drawn the line on kissing babies, saying that they are too well versed -in hygiene to commit that crime. As has been remarked, women are -entirely too much given to sentiment to be allowed to vote. - - * * * * * - -Anti-suffrage literature declares that the enfranchisement of women will -“efface the natural differentiation of function between the two sexes.” -Oh, no, it won’t! Nature can’t be effaced and the differentiation will -go right on differentiating just the same. - - * * * * * - -What a queer way they have in Great Britain of encouraging matrimony! -There are about a million more women than men, but when the Canadian -government begged that some of the women might be sent over as wives for -the English immigrants, the authorities in England vetoed it because the -women were needed to work in the cotton mills. - - * * * * * - -Perhaps in the U.S. women should not vote because they cannot fight but -the man in England who said this would have to run to cover. - - * * * * * - -“We believe that political equality will deprive us of special -privileges hitherto accorded us by law,” cry the anti-suffragists. How -very sad! Will they please name one or two special privileges that the -women have lost in those States where they can vote? - - * * * * * - -The government is closing all the saloons on the reservations to protect -the Indians, and the Southern Legislatures are passing drastic -temperance laws to protect the negroes. It seems to be left to the women -to demand measures for the protection of the white men. - - * * * * * - -A Missouri legislator has introduced a bill that the buttons on the back -of a woman’s dress shall be as large as a silver quarter. Some time when -those women legislators out West cannot find anything else to do they -will introduce a bill that men shall cease wearing any buttons at all on -the back and cuffs of their coat. - - * * * * * - -The Anti-Suffrage Association is to be congratulated on the latest -contribution to its literature by Abdul Hamid, the deposed Sultan of -Turkey. There is such a similarity between his opinions on woman -suffrage and Mrs. Humphry Ward’s that it certainly is either a case of -plagiarism or two souls with but a single thought. - - * * * * * - -Harvard University has taken off the ban and allowed a speech on woman -suffrage within its sacred walls. If the ban had remained on a little -longer it would not have been necessary to take it off. - - * * * * * - -Almost the last words of Baroness von Suttner before she sailed for home -were that there never would be peace here until the women had a vote. -The men could have told her that as soon as she landed in the United -States. - - * * * * * - -For many days before Easter, the dispatches said, the Cleveland -suffragists trimmed hats to be sold for the “cause.” Go to! It would be -utterly impossible for a woman to believe in suffrage and know how to -trim a hat. - - * * * * * - -Kansas women say that they have long been accustomed to masculine -chivalry, as they have had the municipal vote for a quarter of a -century; but since they got the full suffrage they are so overwhelmed -with attentions from the men that they can hardly resist a political -flirtation. - - * * * * * - -Strange, isn’t it, how Government offices, public schools and the rest -penalize matrimony, and then when women ask for the suffrage the -opponents shriek aloud that it will destroy the desire for marriage? -Doesn’t it ever occur to them that the loss of all these business -opportunities might have this effect? Husbands are nice, but oh, you -salary! - - * * * * * - -Beatrice Harraden learned at a recent legislative hearing in Westminster -that “the women impressed the statesmen but the statesmen did not in the -least impress the women.” We have always seen this in our country but we -never let the “statesmen” know it. - - * * * * * - -The belated action of the New York anti-suffragists, in opening their -little headquarters on Fifth Avenue a few days before the big suffrage -parade “to offset any impression it might make,” recalls the careful -housewife, who exclaimed when she saw Niagara Falls, “Oh, that reminds -me—I left the kitchen faucet running!” - - * * * * * - -It is perfectly proper for mothers of wealth and social position to -employ nurses and governesses for their children; but when a business or -professional woman does the same, society at large goes into hysterics -over her poor, neglected offspring. If the mother is off playing bridge -and attending “teas,” it is all right; but if she is away earning a -salary it is all wrong. - - * * * * * - -When women wanted to be customs inspectors the authorities said they -could never, never climb the ladder on the side of a ship. Strange to -say the two women who demonstrated that it could easily be done were -both daughters of Presidents. It is odd how many obstacles can be placed -in the way when a woman wants a job with a salary attached! - - * * * * * - -Amherst College is to establish a chair of common sense. Great pity that -college isn’t co-educational! - - * * * * * - -“When women are elected to Congress, there will be no more secret -caucuses,” says a great daily. Since when have there been any of that -kind? - - * * * * * - -School inspectors in Russia have issued an order that no married woman -teacher can have more than two children. They have heard about the New -York board of education and gone them two better. - - * * * * * - -“Suffrage was begotten in Utah and Idaho by Mormonism,” says a syndicate -article sent forth by the Pennsylvania “anti” association. Oh, no; it -was “begotten” in Wyoming, when there wasn’t a Mormon in the Territory. - - * * * * * - -His name is Abnel—a German doctor who has made a discovery. “The world’s -well-being is threatened by the adoration of suffragists for dissolute -men. The clinging, domestic women are naturally attracted to strong -men.” Of course—the men would have to be strong to support their weight. -“But the women politicians have lost the selective instinct,” he says. -“They flutter toward the Don Juans like moths and are consumed before -they realize their own folly.” Yes, people notice this in those Western -States—a perfect holocaust as soon as women get the ballot. That is why -the Don Juans always vote against it—they would feel so dreadfully -helpless with all the women politicians fluttering toward them in order -to be consumed. - - * * * * * - -Which is likely to do more damage to the sweetly feminine character—to -stand at the polls all day and hand out coffee to voters, or to deposit -a ballot and then go home and attend to woman’s legitimate business? - - * * * * * - -A cardinal in Venice denounced the tight skirts women are wearing and -ordered them to do penance. They hastened to church the next day for the -purpose, but were obliged to perform their devotions standing! - - * * * * * - -The New Thought devotees have thought out a new kind of marriage—“a -mating of harmonious vibrations.” But that has been the trouble with -marriage in late years—the parties have vibrated among too many people. - - * * * * * - -A Chicago suffrage club has just been formed, to which only young, -unmarried women are eligible. It seems only yesterday that girls were -solemnly admonished that if they advocated woman suffrage no man would -marry them, but they can’t be scared that way now. - - * * * * * - -Richard Le Gallienne has gone Omar Khayyam’s “a loaf of bread, a jug of -wine and thou, singing in the wilderness underneath a bough,” one -better. He will be perfectly satisfied “if only she and I can go, -walking forever through the snow.” Maybe he would, but we think the lady -would want something warmer even than Richard’s poetry. - - * * * * * - -There was an increase of fifteen per cent. in marriages in Chicago the -first six months after the Legislature granted woman suffrage. That may -not have been the cause but if the figures had gone the other way there -would have had to be a special session to repeal it. - - * * * * * - -The New York _Times_ suggests that “the suffragists have the right of -petition and by exercising it in a proper manner they may advance their -cause.” They have been doing this for sixty-five years. If there is any -new style in petitions they will be very thankful for a diagram and a -paper pattern. - - * * * * * - -Anti-suffragists are protesting against having that vote for suffrage at -the biennial called unanimous. All right; say that twenty-one hundred -votes were cast, and seventy of them were negative—thirty in favor to -one opposed—and that is just about the way the woman’s vote would stand -throughout the country. - - * * * * * - -Pittsburgh is to have a saloon exclusively for women, as they have been -crowded out of the others by the men. Promoters of the new idea should -go to New York and inquire at the Hotel Vanderbilt, which started out -with a beautiful “bar” for women, but a month later it was closed for -lack of patronage and reopened as a much needed annex to the large and -flourishing bar for men. - - * * * * * - -Prof. Spencer Baldwin, of Boston University, is an anti-suffragist. He -doesn’t like the new woman—“androgynous hybrid,” that is what he calls -her. It’s up to the professor to find an anti-toxin. - - * * * * * - -In the United States the women say they won’t pay their taxes if they -can’t vote and in London they say they won’t pay their rent. Our -government can compromise with them by giving the suffrage but what is -their landlord to do? - - * * * * * - -The head of the “vocational bureau” in Boston thinks the time may come -when graduation certificates in fathercraft and mothercraft will be -issued by the public schools. But if the holders don’t get aboard the -matrimonial craft what good will these do? - - * * * * * - -Hampton Court has been closed to the public for a long time through fear -of the suffragettes; but the government has at last evolved a scheme—it -will open the palace and charge a shilling admission! How clever! But -suppose a suffragette should be able to borrow a shilling? - - * * * * * - -Woman suffragists campaigning in Wisconsin came across a man whose wife -has supported the family for years by walking the tight rope, and he -announced that he should vote against the suffrage amendment because a -woman’s place is at home. There are a vast number just like him there, -judging from the election returns. - - * * * * * - -Under a woman school superintendent in Rowan County, Kentucky, the -number of illiterates in two years has been reduced from 1,152 to 23, -and these are physically incompetent. One of the great dangers of equal -suffrage is that women might aspire to hold office! - - * * * * * - -The women of Nevada have been holding a “sacrifice week” to raise money -for their suffrage campaign, as also have women in the neighboring -States to help them. By the way, can anybody recall any special -sacrifice to earn the right that has been made by the men who are now -doing the voting in the United States? - - * * * * * - -A Johns Hopkins professor says that in twenty years’ experience with -over a thousand graduates of both sexes he has failed to discover the -inferior brains of women which he hears so much about. He should apply -to the anti-suffragists, who not only can tell him all about them but -can furnish him with plenty of specimens. - - * * * * * - -Secretary Daniels declares that “bachelors are encumberers of the earth” -and offers the use of the United States navy to scatter their ranks. As -the most of them are land animals the services of the War Department -would be more effective. Meanwhile it is safe to say that few bachelors -pass the age of fifty without the inner consciousness that they ought to -be blown up or sent to the bottom of the sea. - - * * * * * - -At the next election after California women were enfranchised, the vote -of the State increased 313,883. As has often been remarked, women -wouldn’t use the suffrage if they had it. - - * * * * * - -“The men are to put on their clothes with a shoe horn,” is the latest -fashion edict. We shall not believe it till we see it, and even then we -shall look the other way. - - * * * * * - -Some “bootleggers” who are to be tried before a jury of women in -Colorado are said to be feeling very anxious. Why so? The objection to -women as judges and jurors has always been that they are too sentimental -and emotional to mete out justice. - - * * * * * - -The illogical minds of women cannot comprehend why it is, when a -congressman’s constituents indicate that they don’t want him to -represent them in the government any longer, that same government -immediately puts him on the pay roll in another place. - - * * * * * - -The male editors of the two leading fashion magazines are using columns -of space in argument whether the women of this country shall adopt -American or French styles. The National Association of Master Bakers, at -their recent convention, adopted a resolution in favor of woman -suffrage, giving as a reason that if women go into politics they won’t -have time to stay at home and bake bread. It is really outrageous the -way women are crowding into the fields of labor that belong to men! - - * * * * * - -“It is a wise child that knows its own father,” but in France they have -just passed a law which will permit the mother to make some inquiries. - - * * * * * - -The new invention of making rubber tires out of a substance extracted -from whiskey suggests that it would be an excellent thing on most of the -“joy” rides if the whiskey was in the tires instead of the automobile. - - * * * * * - -The public-school teachers who want the suffrage have raised the cry, -“Can disfranchised teachers train citizens?” Of course they can, so long -as they can be had for half the price that a man would charge for the -job. - - * * * * * - -A Democratic candidate for congressman-at-large in Illinois, who is an -anti-suffragist, is making his canvass on the platform: “A husband and a -home for every woman.” As over twenty-five hundred husbands in Chicago -alone last year abandoned their wives, he should add another plank that -if he is elected all husbands will stick to home and family. - - * * * * * - -Just as the Anti-Suffrage Association issued its bulletin announcing -that there was no favorable movement in the South, the Georgia -Federation of Labor strongly indorsed the suffragists and the Atlanta -_Constitution_ declared editorially, “Success seems about to crown their -efforts.” The antis are playing in hard luck; no sooner do they get -their type all nicely set up than the other side does something or other -that knocks it into “pi.” - - * * * * * - -One of those gifted male lecturers who know everything says, “We have -new models of automobiles every year; we should work out new models of -the antiquated family machine.” Go ahead; women have no objection as -long as they are permitted to sit at the steering wheel. - - * * * * * - -“Marse Henry” Watterson says he has found only three classes of women -who want the suffrage: “Those who wish to exploit their own interests, -those who are soured on life and the brainless sheep who think it is -fashionable.” Maybe it is like that in Kentucky, but the men in some -States have found several other kinds. - - * * * * * - -The “bachelor tax” which the Montana legislators want to impose varies -from $2.50 to $100 per annum, but the majority think $5 would be about -right. It seems like cruelty to animals to put on any tax at all when -there are more than twice as many men as women over twenty-one years old -in the State and those across the border are in just as bad a fix. - - * * * * * - -Emile Deschamps tells us in his new book that the American woman cannot -keep her husband’s love because she does not return it. But if she -returned it of course she couldn’t keep it. Funny how many things these -foreigners find out about American women never discovered by American -men, who seem to be well enough satisfied not to go wife hunting in any -other country. - - * * * * * - -Almost every organization in the “campaign” States which stands for -anything that ought to be stood for has indorsed the suffrage amendment. -Will the antis name one which has declared against it—that is, has -declared publicly? - - * * * * * - -It’s funny how every woman who does anything nowadays, from climbing a -steeple to taking the prize at a beauty show, is described as “a leading -suffragist.” Don’t the “antis” ever get married or die or have triplets -or do anything worth notice? - - * * * * * - -One striking difference between the United States Senate and the British -House of Commons is that when a deputation of women suffragists make a -call the Senators receive them with open arms and the Commoners shout -for the police. - - * * * * * - -The nurses who cared for Mr. Roosevelt in the Chicago hospital have been -so deluged with offers of marriage they have had to go into seclusion. -It’s such a very funny way men have of showing their appreciation of a -woman by offering to marry her! - - * * * * * - -The women in China, it is said, have now advanced so far that they are -held accountable for their crimes instead of their male relatives. Here, -too. It used to be the law in many of our States that a wife could not -be punished for a crime committed in the presence of her husband. Having -a husband was considered sufficient punishment for her—or at least that -seemed to be just as good a reason as any for the law. - - * * * * * - -Captain Amundson, the antarctic discoverer, who comes from Norway where -women vote, says of the English suffragettes: “They are quite right, and -I’d like to help them in their fight for freedom.” The captain had -better confine himself to easy jobs like finding the South Pole. - - * * * * * - -The anti-suffrage headquarters in Trenton, N. J., have a big placard in -the window, asking, “Why the Increase in Juvenile Crime in Denver?” -Because, according to the chief of police, “juvenile crime in Denver has -decreased nearly two hundred per cent. in the last ten years”—that’s -why. It is amazing how the anti-suffragists manage to acquire so much -misinformation. - - * * * * * - -In Colonel Roosevelt’s latest pronunciamento on the question of -suffrage, he says that he “always believed it exactly as much the right -of women as men, but he only favored it ‘tepidly’ until his association -with such women as Jane Addams,” etc. Is the colonel quite sure that he -was not slightly influenced by those 2,000,000 women out West with the -vote already in their hands? - - * * * * * - -At the recent suffrage debate in Congress a great deal was said about -women “trailing their skirts in the mire of politics” by some of the -befo’-the-wah members. Evidently the old gentlemen hadn’t learned that -trailing skirts went out of fashion years ago and now the men can’t make -the political mud deep enough to touch the hem of the up-to-date -dresses. - - * * * * * - -The “antis” appeal to the legislators to “listen to logic instead of the -dropping of ballots.” Impossible! Compared with the thud of those -ballots all other noises sound like utter silence. - - * * * * * - -Grand opera was sung to fourteen lions at the zoo in Berlin and they -didn’t do any violence to the singers. Audiences in many countries have -been just as forbearing. - - * * * * * - -A society has been organized in New York to arouse in fathers more -interest in their children. Perhaps they have already sufficient -interest but in many cases it has to be spread out over such a large -surface. - - * * * * * - -Miss Dora Keen, the Pennsylvania woman who recently climbed to the top -of Harvard Glacier in Alaska believes that she has the physical strength -to cast a ballot, but the men of her State insist that she must stay at -home and let them protect her from being jostled at the polls. - - * * * * * - -All sorts of explanations have been made as to why those Kansas women, -when they found they had won the suffrage, built a bonfire and threw -their old hats in it. Perhaps they concluded that, now they were voters, -they must act as silly as men. Maybe they had such swelled heads that -the hats wouldn’t fit. Possibly they thought they could get new ones on -election bets. But most likely they only wanted to show that now their -hats are in the ring and they are ready for the fray. - - * * * * * - -The _Woman’s Journal_ says the devil and the anti-suffragists will be -busy all summer. Why both? - - * * * * * - -Now 12,000 bakers are going on a strike. It didn’t used to be that way -when the nation’s wives and mothers baked the bread. - - * * * * * - -A National Desertion Bureau has been incorporated to try to settle all -the domestic quarrels in the country. There won’t be enough of that -bureau left to kindle a fire on a marriage altar. - - * * * * * - -“Women must not have the suffrage,” says an authorized document of the -antis, “because Max Eastman’s wife goes by her maiden name.” Where does -she “go?” That is much more to the point, if she is to decide the -question. - - * * * * * - -“On one side,” says a Pennsylvania official in the Anti-Suffrage -Association, “are the mother and the home; on the other the woman -seeking the place man occupies as the framer of constitutions and the -administrator of civil-government.” Seems as if we know of several men -who don’t frame constitutions or administer any kind of government, and -a good many women who can’t stay on the side of the home because they -have to go out and earn the money to have a home. Men and women can’t be -divided like goats and sheep, and if they could, there is no valid -reason why the voting booths should all be on one side of the line. - - * * * * * - -There is a great cry in Washington about retiring the superannuated -clerks for the good of the service. What is impairing the service is the -large number of inefficient chiefs of departments who are drawing big -salaries while their poorly paid women assistants do the work. - - * * * * * - -For the second time a Radcliffe girl has won the $100 prize open to -students of all colleges for the best essay on municipal government. Oh, -yes, women may be very good on the theory, but only men have the -practical knowledge. Just observe what a shining success they have made -of city governments! - - * * * * * - -The way women will lose the respect of men when they get a vote was -illustrated in Arizona, where as soon as women were enfranchised the men -nominated the president of the Suffrage Association for State senator, -and she received six hundred more votes than any other candidate on the -ticket. - - * * * * * - -_Votes for Women_ says that the Peers, when they argued against woman -suffrage, should have been clothed in skins with feathers in their hair, -and Lord Curzon, when he moved the rejection of the bill, should have -begun by dancing around the woolsack and singing an incantation. We must -protest against this libel on the American Indian; he would scorn to -take an Englishman’s attitude against the rights of women. - - * * * * * - -The State of Washington has the lowest death rate of any in the country; -New Hampshire the highest. Moral—Go West, where women vote. - - * * * * * - -There have been but four “champion” typewriters, and three of these were -women. As soon as the machine was invented women were at the keyboard, -and yet you hear men operators complaining that women have “usurped” -their positions! - - * * * * * - -When that International Congress of Women Voters meets in San Francisco -next summer, there will be a fine chance to observe how the suffrage has -unsexed women and destroyed the feminine instincts in at least nine -countries. - - * * * * * - -Whenever anybody issues the edict that women have not the physical -strength to vote some of them immediately shin up a flagpole on a -fifty-story building and take a header off the Brooklyn Bridge for a -moving-picture show, loop the loop in an airship and climb the highest -mountain in the world. - - * * * * * - -Civil Service Commissioner McIlhenny says the women government employes -may march in the suffrage parade as individuals but not as clerks. -Thanks Mr. Commissioner! That is what the suffragists are asking for—to -be considered as individuals instead of belonging to somebody or -something. But they can’t join a suffrage club, he says. As the man in -prison answered his lawyer who said, “They can’t put you in jail for -that”—“They already hev.” - - * * * * * - -An anti-Tammany bureau of a thousand speakers is being organized in New -York to talk the “tiger” to death. Right there is where they need the -help of women. - - * * * * * - -Medical statistics from Paris announce that men show most brilliancy -from forty to fifty-six. This holds out a great deal of hope for a lot -of men we know who are under forty. - - * * * * * - -“There is no reform legislation in any suffrage State which is not -duplicated in those where women cannot vote,” says the “antis.” If that -is so they will have to find some other excuse for beating the -suffragists to the polls as soon as they get a chance. - - * * * * * - -The United States Senate has made an appropriation to erect a splendid -memorial in Washington in recognition of the service rendered by women -during the Civil War. By all means; and then don’t deny the franchise to -women because they cannot serve their country in time of war. - - * * * * * - -The Women’s Political Association of Australia has called upon its -national Parliament to protect the political rights of the women of that -country, who become disfranchised the moment they take up a residence in -any other part of the British empire, while men continue to vote. Here, -too! Help for the women voters of twelve States, who, when they go to -live in any of the other thirty-six, are reduced to the political level -of the idiots, insane and criminal. - - * * * * * - -Shall women propose? Well, they have a good deal of nerve nowadays, but -hardly enough to say to a man, “Please take me and support me for the -rest of my life!” They must first be financially independent and then -somehow they seem to lose interest in the matter. - - * * * * * - -When Utah’s electoral college met to cast the vote of the State for -President and Vice-President, its members selected the one woman elector -to carry the result to Washington. Those Western States are constantly -giving just such examples as this of the way men lose respect for women -when they can vote and hold office. - - * * * * * - -In all of the Eastern cities thousands of children are kept out of -school because there are no seats for them. Does any one believe this -would be the case if women handled the school funds? A good many useless -officials who are now holding down chairs would stand up and the school -children would have seats. - - * * * * * - -Another English woman heard from! “American men,” she says, “are -arrogant snobs, who think they are the salt of the earth.” That is a -much more alluring description than to call them spiritless creatures, -entirely dominated by women—the usual English idea. Whatever they are, -they suit American women and the English women can’t have them. - - * * * * * - -Mayor Mitchel ought to take it out on the powers that advised him to do -it. How was one so young to know that a gun could have such a powerful -back action? - - * * * * * - -Kansas suffragists declare they are not going to ask men for a penny to -carry on their campaign. Maybe not but husbands had better go to bed -with their clothes on. - - * * * * * - -A woman who has just returned to earth after a trance reports that she -saw some male angels but they had no wings. Possibly they had at one -time but found them inconvenient and passed them on to women, just as -here on earth they did with skirts. - - * * * * * - -“Do women realize,” says a writer in an anti-suffrage paper, “that as -they become self-supporting they deprive men of the right to support -them?” Don’t worry; men can always find women who are willing to be -supported—some of them find too many. - - * * * * * - -The National Women’s Trade Unions’ League and its various State -auxiliaries and all kinds of working women’s organizations are -continually passing resolutions for woman suffrage. On the other hand, -Dr. Katharine Bement Davis, superintendent of the Bedford Reformatory -for Women, says that her charges, almost to a woman, are opposed to it. -If a person is to be judged by the company she keeps, one hardly feels -like getting acquainted with the members of the Anti-Suffrage -Association. - - * * * * * - -It’s all right for the Kansas Legislature to have a woman -sergeant-at-arms, but it seems that her name ought not to be “Effie.” By -the way what does the sergeant have to do with her arms. - - * * * * * - -In the States where women can vote they have not exactly turned their -swords into plowshares but they have transformed their suffrage -societies into civic clubs, and instead of their begging men to give -them votes, the men are begging women for the votes they already hold in -their lily-white hands. - - * * * * * - -The Legislature of Alaska enfranchised women and then enacted a statute -declaring that “all laws which impose or recognize civil disability on a -wife that do not exist as to the husband are hereby repealed.” As the -“antis” are fond of saying, “Women must accept the suffrage at a -terrible sacrifice of the privileges they have enjoyed.” - - * * * * * - -History repeats itself. The Ceres Ladies’ Society, fifty years old—the -society, not the ladies—admitted a few men as a compliment and now has -filed an ouster against them because they usurped all the offices. Sixty -years ago Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton formed a women’s -temperance society and were persuaded to admit men, who at the first -election, got control of the offices. The two women walked out of the -society and out of the temperance movement straight into that for woman -suffrage. Men should have a care! - - * * * * * - -They say that such a crop of eels never has been known. It’s always like -that during the season of candidates. - - * * * * * - -According to the decision of the New York board of education, no woman -is fitted to teach children after she has had a child herself. Masculine -logic! - - * * * * * - -The latest scientific discovery is that on the right kind of food a hen -will lay a hundred per cent. more eggs. If she does the rooster will -crow himself to death. - - * * * * * - -The papers have given wide publicity to the Arkansas farmer who offers a -large porker to any one that will find him a wife. There is often an -exchange of that kind in marriage, and the wife gets it. - - * * * * * - -The “antis” have announced that in their New York headquarters they -“will overcome the yelling of the suffragists with exquisite music on -the harp and other stringed instruments.” At the same time the Illinois -hospital for the insane announces an arrangement to cure their patients -with music. There must have been collusion between the two. The methods -and talk of the antis for a long time have indicated that they thought -they were dealing with the feeble-minded if not the dangerously insane. -The experiments will be watched with interest but the antis should hurry -up, as the number of suffragists at large is rapidly increasing and it -will require a lot of music. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES - - - 1. Silently corrected typographical errors. - 2. Retained anachronistic and non-standard spellings as printed. - 3. 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