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diff --git a/old/54672-8.txt b/old/54672-8.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 519f4fe..0000000 --- a/old/54672-8.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,8652 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Les Bijoux Indiscrets, or, The Indiscreet -Toys, by Denis Diderot - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Les Bijoux Indiscrets, or, The Indiscreet Toys - -Author: Denis Diderot - -Release Date: May 6, 2017 [EBook #54672] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LES BIJOUX INDESCRETS, THE INDISCREET TOYS *** - - - - -Produced by Clare Graham & Marc D'Hooghe at Free Literature -(online soon in an extended version, also linking to free -sources for education worldwide ... MOOC's, educational -materials,...) Images generously made available by the -Internet Archive. - - - - - -_Les Bijoux Indiscrets._ - -OR, - -The Indiscreet Toys. - - -[By Denis Diderot.] - - -Translated from the Congese Language. -Printed at Monomotapa. - - -In Two Volumes. -Adorned with Copper-Plates. - - -_TOBAGO:_ -Re-printed for _Pierrot Ragout_, with the -Approbation of _M----l S----xe_, -MDCCXLIX. - -And sold by R. Freeman, near St. _Paul's_; -and at all the Booksellers. - - - - -TO ZIMA. - - -Zima, embrace the moment. The Aga Narkis entertains your mother, -and your governess is upon the watch in a balcony for your father's -return: take, read, fear nothing. But even tho' the _Bijoux indiscrets_ -should be found behind your toilet, do you think it would be a matter -of wonder? No, Zima, no; it is well known, that the _Sopha_, the -_Tanzai_, and the _Confessions_ have been under your pillow. Do you -hesitate still? Know then, that Aglaé has not disdained to set her -hand to the work, which you blush to accept. "Aglaé," say you, "the -sober Aglaé!"--The same. While Zima was straying with, or perhaps -contriving how to get rid of the young Bonza Alleluia; Aglaé amused -herself innocently, by relating to me the adventures of Zaide, Alphana, -Fannia, &c.--furnished me with the few strokes, which please me in the -history of Mangogul, revised it, and pointed me out the means of making -it better: for if Aglaé is one of the most virtuous and least edifying -women in Congo; she is likewise one of the least jealous of wit, and -one of the most witty. Can Zima now think, that it becomes her to play -the scrupulous? Once more, Zima, take, read, read all; even without -excepting the narrative of the _Rambling Toy_, which may be interpreted -to you, without any expence to your virtue, provided the interpreter be -neither your spiritual director nor your lover. - - - - -CONTENTS. - - -Preface - -Chap. I. Birth of Mangogul. - -Chap. II. Education of Mangogul. - -Chap. III. Which may be regarded as the first of this History. - -Chap. IV. Evocation of the Genius. - -Chap. V. Mangogul's dangerous temptation. - -Chap. VI. First Trial of the Ring, or Alcina. - -Chap. VII. Second Trial of the Ring, or the Altars. - -Chap. VIII. Third Trial of the Ring, or the private Supper. - -Chap. IX. The state of the Academy of Sciences at Banza. - -Chap. X. Less learned and less tedious than the preceding. - Continuation of the Academical Sitting. - -Chap. XI. Fourth Trial of the Ring, or the Echo. - -Chap. XII. Fifth Trial of the Ring, or Play. - -Chap. XIII. Sixth Trial of the Ring, or the Opera at Banza. - -Chap. XIV. Orcotomus's Experiments. - -Chap. XV. The Bramins. - -Chap. XVI. The Muzzles. - -Chap. XVII. The two Devouts. - -Chap. XVIII. The Toyman's Return. - -Chap. XIX. Seventh Trial of the Ring, or the stifled Toy. - -Chap. XX. Eighth Trial of the Ring, or the Vapors. - -Chap. XXI. Ninth Trial of the Ring, or Things lost and found. - -Chap. XXII. A sketch of Mangogul's Moral Philosophy. - -Chap. XXIII. Tenth Trial of the Ring, or the Dogs. - -Chap. XXIV. Eleventh Trial of the Ring, or the Pensions. - -Chap. XXV. Twelfth Trial of the Ring, or a Law-Case. - -Chap. XXVI. Mirzoza's Metaphysical Essay, or the Soul. - -Chap. XXVII. Sequel of the preceding Conversation. - -Chap. XXVIII. Thirteenth Trial of the King, or the little Mare. - -Chap. XXIX. Mangogul's Dream, or a Voyage into the Region of - Hypotheses. - -Chap. XXX. Fourteenth Trial of the Ring, or the Mute Toy. - -Chap. XXXI. Was Mangogul in the right? - -Chap. XXXII. The fifteenth Trial of the Ring, or Alphana. - -Chap. XXXIII. Sixteenth Trial of the Ring, or the _Petits-maitres_. - -Chap. XXXIV. Seventeenth Trial of the Ring, or the Comedy. - -Chap. XXXV. Conversation on Literature. - -Chap. XXXVI. Eighteenth and nineteenth Trials of the Ring, or the - flatted Spheroïd, and Girgiro the entangled. - -Chap. XXXVII. Mirzoza's Dream. - -Chap. XXXVIII. Twenty-first and twenty-second Trials of the Ring, - or Fricamona and Callipiga. - -Chap. XXXIX. Dreams. - -Chap. XL. Twenty-third Trial of the Ring, or Fannia. - -Chap. XLI. The History of Selim's Travels. - -Chap. XLII. Twenty-fourth and twenty-fifth Trials of the Ring, - or, the Masquerade, and Sequel of the Masquerade. - -Chap. XLIII. Selim at Banza. - -Chap. XLIV. Twenty-sixth Trial of the Ring, or the Rambling Toy. - -Chap. XLV. Cydalisa. - -Chap. XLVI. Twenty-seventh Trial of the Ring, or Fulvia. - -Chap. XLVII. Prodigious Events of the Reign of Kanaglou, - Mangogul's Grand-father. - -Chap. XLVIII. Twenty-eighth Trial of the Ring, or Olympia. - -Chap. XLIX. Twenty-ninth Trial of the Ring, or Zuleiman and Zaide. - -Chap. L. Platonic Love. - -Chap. LI. Thirtieth and last Trial of the Ring, or Mirzoza. - - - - -[Transcriber's Note: Chapters I.-XXI. of the second volume of the -1749 publication have been renumbered XXXI.-LI. Illustrations weren't -present in the copy of the English edition we used, we added those from -the original French (at Gallica, Bibliothèque nationale de France.] - - - - -LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. - -1. Cupid in Bed (_frontispiece_). - -2. Man, Woman and Cupid, or _Folly, Imagination,_ and _Love_. - -3. Evocation of the Genius. - -4. Dogs and Lady in Bed. - -5. The Mare, &c. - -6. The Bubble-blower. - -7. Women walking on their hands. - -8. Man and Lady on a Sopha (Zuleiman). - - - - - -The Indiscreet Toys. - - -CHAP. I. - -_Birth of Mangogul._ - - -Hiaouf Zeles Tanzai had already reigned long in great Chechianea, -and this voluptuous prince still continued to be the delight of his -subjects. Acajou king of Minutia had undergone the fate predicted by -his father: Zulmis was no more: the Count De ---- was still living: -Splendidus, Angola, Misapouf and some other potentates of the Indies -and Asia were carried off by sudden deaths. The people tired of -obeying weak sovereigns, had shaken off the yoke of their posterity; -and the descendants of those unfortunate monarchs rambled unknown, or -not regarded, in the provinces of their empires. The grandson of the -illustrious Scheherazad was the only one who maintain'd his throne: and -he was obeyed in Indostan by the name of Schach Baam, at the time when -Mangogul was born in Congo. Thus it appears, that the death of several -sovereigns was the mournful epoch of his birth. - -His father Erguebzed did not summon the Fairies round the cradle of -his son; because he had observed, that most of the princes of his -time, who had been educated by these female intelligences, were no -better than fools. He contented himself with ordering his nativity to -be calculated by one Codindo, a person fitter for a portrait than an -acquaintance. - -Codindo, was head of the college of Soothsayers at Banza, the ancient -capital of the empire. Erguebzed had settled a large pension on him, -and had granted to him and his descendants, on account of the merit of -their great uncle, who was an excellent cook, a magnificent castle on -the frontiers of Congo. Codindo was appointed to observe the flight of -birds, and the state of the heavens, and to make a report thereof at -court: which office he executed very indifferently. If it be true, that -they had at Banza the best theatrical pieces, and the worst play-houses -in all Africa; in return they had the most beautiful college in the -world, and the most wretched predictions. - -Codindo, informed of the business for which he was summoned to -Erguebzed's palace, set out much embarrassed; for the poor man could -no more read the stars than you or I. He was expected with impatience. -The principal lords of the court were assembled in the appartment of -the great Sultana. The ladies, magnificently dress'd, stood round the -infant's cradle. The courtiers were hurrying to congratulate with -Erguebzed on the great things, which he was undoubtedly on the point -of hearing concerning his son. Erguebzed was a father, and thought it -quite natural, to discern in the unform'd lines of an infant, what he -was to be. In fine, Codindo arrived. "Draw near," says Erguebzed to -him: "as soon as heaven had granted me the prince before you, I ordered -the instant of his birth to be exactly registered, and without doubt -you have been informed of it. Speak sincerely to your Master, and tell -him boldly the destiny which heaven has reserved for his Son." - -"Most magnanimous Sultan," answered Codindo, "the prince, born of -parents equally illustrious and happy, can have no other than a great -and fortunate destiny: but I should impose on your highness, if I -plumed myself with a science which I do not possess. The stars rise and -set for me as for the rest of mankind; and I am not more enlightened in -futurity by their means, than the most ignorant of your subjects." - -"But," replied the Sultan, "are you not an astrologer?" "Magnanimous -prince," answered Codindo, "I have not that honour." - -"What the devil are you then?" says the old, but passionate Erguebzed. -"An Aruspex! By the heavens I did not imagine, that you had so much as -thought of it. Believe me, Seigneur Codindo, suffer your poultry to -feed in quiet, and pronounce on the fate of my son, as you lately did -on the cold of my wife's parrot." - -Codindo immediately drew a glass out of his pocket, took the infant's -left ear, rubb'd his eyes, turn'd his spectacles again and again, -peep'd at that ear, did the like to the right ear, and pronounced, -"that the young prince's reign would be happy, if it proved long." - -"I understand you," replied Erguebzed: "my son will do the finest -things in the world, if he has time. But, zounds! what I want to have -told me is, that he will have time. What matter is it to me, after he -is dead, that he would have been the greatest prince upon earth, had he -lived. I have sent for you to cast my son's horoscope, and you make me -his funeral oration." - -Codindo assured the prince, that he was sorry he was not more knowing; -but beseeched his highness to consider, that his knowledge was -sufficient for the little time he had been a conjurer. In effect, the -moment before, what was Codindo? - - - - -CHAP. II. - -_Education of Mangogul._ - - -I will pass lightly over Mangogul's first years. The infancy of princes -is the same with that of the rest of mankind; with this difference, -however, that princes have the gift of saying a thousand pretty things, -before they can speak. Thus before Erguebzed's son was full four years -old, he furnished matter for a volume of Mangogulana. Erguebzed, who -was a man of sense, and was resolved that his son's education should -not be so much neglected as his own had been, sent betimes for all -the great men in Congo; as, painters, philosophers, poets, musicians, -architects, masters of dancing, mathematicks, history, fencing, &c. -Thanks to the happy dispositions of Mangogul, and to the constant -lessons of his masters, he was ignorant in nothing of what a young -prince is wont to learn the first fifteen years of his life; and at -the age of twenty he could eat, drink, and sleep, as completely as any -potentate of his age. - -Erguebzed, whose weight of years began to make him feel the weight -of his crown, tired with holding the reins of the empire, frighted -at the disturbances which threatened it, full of confidence in the -superior qualifications of Mangogul, and urged by sentiments of -religion, sure prognostics of the approaching death or imbecility of -the great, descended from the throne, to seat his son thereon: and -this good prince thought he was under an obligation of expiating, by a -retirement, the crimes of the most just administration, of which there -is any account in the annals of Congo. - -Thus it was, that in the year of the world 15,000,000,032,000,021, of -the empire of Congo 390,000,070,003, began the reign of Mangogul, the -1,234,500 of his race in a direct line. Frequent conferences with his -ministers, wars carried on, and the management of affairs, taught him -in a very short time what remained for him to know at getting out of -the hands of his pedagogues; and that was somewhat. - -However, in less than ten years Mangogul acquired the reputation of -a great man. He gained battles, stormed towns, enlarged his empire, -quieted his provinces, repaired the disorder of his finances, restored -arts and sciences, raised edifices, immortalized himself by useful -establishments, strengthened and corrected the legislative power, even -founded academies; and, what his university could never comprehend, he -executed all these great things, without knowing one word of Latin. - -Mangogul was not less amiable in his Seraglio than great on the throne. -He did not take it into his head to regulate his conduct by the -ridiculous customs of his country. He broke the gates of the palaces -inhabited by his women; he drove out those injurious guards of their -virtue; he prudently confided in themselves for their fidelity: the -entrance into their appartments was as free for men as into those of -the canonesses of Flanders; and doubtless their behaviour as decent. -Oh! how good a Sultan he was! There never was his equal, but in some -French romance. He was mild, affable, chearful, gallant, of a charming -figure, a lover of pleasures, cut out for them, and contained more wit -and sense in his head, than had been in those of all his predecessors -put together. - -'Tis easy to judge that, with such uncommon merit, a number of the -sex aspired to make him their conquest: Some few succeeded. Those who -miss'd his heart, endeavour'd to console themselves with the grandees -of the court. Young Mirzoza was of the number of the former. I shall -not amuse myself with detailing the qualities and charms of Mirzoza: -the work would be without end, and I am resolved that this history -shall have one. - - - - -CHAP. III. - -_Which may be regarded as the first of this history._ - - -Mirzoza had already fixed Mangogul for some years. These lovers had -said, and a thousand times repeated, all that a violent passion -suggests to persons who have the most wit. They were got as far as -confidences, and they would impute it to themselves as a crime, to -conceal the most minute circumstance of their lives from each other. -These singular suppositions, "If heaven, which has placed me on the -throne, had given me an obscure low birth, would you have deign'd to -descend down to me, would Mirzoza have crown'd me?" "Should Mirzoza -happen to lose the few charms which she is thought to have, would -Mangogul love her still?" These suppositions, I say, which exercise the -fancy of ingenious lovers, which sometimes make tender lovers quarrel, -and frequently oblige the most sincere lovers to tell untruths, were -quite worn out between our pair. - -The favorite, who possess'd in a supreme degree, the necessary and -uncommon talent of making a good narrative, had drained the scandalous -history of Banza. As she had not the best constitution, she was not -always disposed to receive the Sultan's caresses, nor he always in -the humour of offering them. In short, there were some days, in which -Mangogul and Mirzoza had little to say, hardly any thing to do, and -in which, without any diminution of love, they amused themselves but -indifferently. Those days were rare indeed, but there were some; and -this was one of them. - -The Sultan was carelessly stretch'd on a sopha, opposite to the -favorite, who was knotting in silence. The weather did not permit -them to take a walk. Mangogul would not venture to propose a party -of piquet; and this posture had lasted near a quarter of an hour, -when the Sultan, yawning several times, said, "It must be allowed, -that Geliotta sung like an angel." "And that your highness is tired -to death," answered the favorite. "No, Madam," replied Mangogul, -endeavouring to smother a yawn, "the minute that one sees you, is not -that of tiresomeness." "If that is not a polite compliment, 'tis no -body's fault but your own," rejoin'd Mirzoza: "but you ponder, you -are absent, you yawn. Prince, what ails you?" "I know not," said the -Sultan. "But I guess," continued the favorite. "I was eighteen, when -I had the good fortune to please you. It is full four years since you -began to love me. Eighteen and four make twenty-two. Therefore I am -now very old." Mangogul smiled at this calculation. "But if I am no -longer worth any thing for pleasure," added Mirzoza, "I will at least -demonstrate that I am very good for advice. The variety of amusements -which attend you, has not been able to secure you against disgust. You -are disgusted. Prince, there is your disease." "I do not allow, that -you have hit it off," says Mangogul: "but supposing you have, do you -know a remedy?" Mirzoza answered the Sultan, after a moment's pause, -that his highness seem'd to take so much pleasure at the narratives she -made him of the gallantries of the town, that she was sorry she had no -more to relate to him, or that she was not better informed of those of -the court; that she would have tried that expedient, till she thought -of somewhat better. "I think it a good one," says Mangogul: "But who -knows the stories of all those fools; and tho' they were known to any, -who could relate them like you?" "Let us learn them however," replied -Mirzoza. "Whosoever it be that tells them, I am certain that your -highness will gain more by the matter, than you will lose by the form." -"I shall join with you, if you please, in fancying the adventures of -the court ladies very diverting," says Mangogul: "but tho' they were to -be a hundred times more so, what does that avail, if it be impossible -to come at them?" "There may be a difficulty in it," answers Mirzoza, -"but in my opinion, that is all. The Genius Cucufa, your relation and -friend, has done greater things. Why do you not consult him?" "Ah, joy -of my heart!" cried the Sultan, "you are an admirable Creature. I make -no doubt but the Genius will employ all his power in my favour. This -moment I shut myself up in my closet, and invoke him." - -Accordingly Mangogul arose, kissed the favorite on the left eye, -pursuant to the custom of Congo, and departed. - - - - -CHAP. IV. - -_Evocation of the Genius._ - - -The Genius Cucufa is an old hypochondriac, who fearing lest the -concerns of the world, and dealings with the rest of the genii, might -prove an obstacle to his salvation, took refuge in the Void; in order -to employ himself quite at leisure on the infinite perfections of the -great Pagoda, to pinch, scratch and make notches in his flesh, to fret -himself into madness, and starve himself to death. In that place he -lies on a straw mat, his body tuck'd up in a sack, his flanks squeez'd -with a cord, his arms crossed on his breast, and his head sunk into -a hood, which suffers nothing to issue but the end of his beard. He -sleeps, but one would think him in contemplation. All his company -is an owl which nods at his feet, some rats which gnaw his mat, and -bats which hover round his head. The manner of evoking him, is, by -repeating, to the sound of a bell, the first verse of the nocturnal -office of the Bramins: then he lifts up his hood, rubs his eyes, puts -on his sandals, and sets out. Figure to yourself an old Camaldolian -Monk carried in the air by two large horn-owls, which he holds by the -legs. In this equipage it was, that Cucufa appear'd to the Sultan. -"May the blessing of Brama be within these walls," says he, bowing. -"Amen," answered the prince. "What do you want, my son?" "A very small -matter," says Mangogul; "to procure me some pleasure at the expence of -the court ladies." "Oh, my son!" replied Cucufa, "you have a larger -appetite than a whole monastery of Bramins. What do you pretend to -do with this troop of extravagants?" "To learn from themselves their -present and past adventures, that is all." "But that is impossible," -says the Genius. "To have women confess their adventures, is a thing -that never was, nor ever will be." "Yet it must be," added the Sultan. -At these words, the Genius scratching his ear, and combing his long -beard with his fingers, fell to thinking. His meditation was short. -"My child," said he to Mangogul, "I love you, you shall be satisfied." -Instantly he plunged his right hand into a deep pocket made under his -arm-pit on the left side of his frock, and, together with images, -bless'd beads, little leaden pagoda's, and musty sweatmeats, drew out -a silver ring, which Mangogul at first took for one of St. Hubert's -rings. "You see this ring," said he to the Sultan, "put it on your -finger, my child: every woman, at whom you shall level the stone, will -relate her intrigues in a plain, audible voice. Do not imagine however, -that 'tis by the mouth that they are to speak." "By what then will they -speak?" says Mangogul. "By the frankest part about them, and the best -instructed in those things which you desire to know," says Cucufa; "by -their Toys." "By their Toys," replies Mangogul bursting into laughter; -"that is particular. Talking Toys! That is an unheard extravagance." -"My son," said the Genius, "I have performed many greater prodigies -for your grandfather: therefore depend on my word. Go, and may Brama -bless you. Make a good use of your secret, and remember that there are -ill-placed curiosities." This said, the old hypocrite nodded his head, -pull'd his hood over his face, took his horn-owls by the legs, and -vanish'd in the air. - - - - -CHAP. V. - -_Mangogul's dangerous Temptation._ - - -Scarcely was Mangogul in possession of Cucufa's mysterious ring, -when he was tempted to make the first trial of it on the favorite. I -forgot to mention, that besides the vertue of obliging the Toys of -those women, on whom he turn'd the stone, to speak, it had that also -of rendering the person invisible, who wore it on the little finger. -Thus could Mangogul transport himself in the twinkling of an eye to a -thousand places where he was not expected, and with his own eyes see -many things, which are frequently transacted without witnesses. He had -nothing more to do than to put on his ring, and say "I desire to be -in such a place," and he was there in an instant. Behold him then in -Mirzoza's bed-chamber. - -Mirzoza, who gave over all hopes of the Sultan's company, was in bed. -Mangogul approach'd her pillow softly, and saw by the glimmering -light of a night taper, that she was asleep. "Good," say he, "she -sleeps, let us quickly shift the ring on another finger, resume our -natural shape, turn the stone on this fair sleeper, and awake her -Toy a little while.--But what stops me?--I tremble.--Is it possible -that Mirzoza?--No, it is not possible, Mirzoza is faithful to me. -Fly from me, injurious suspicions, I will not, I ought not to heed -ye." He said, and put his fingers on the ring: but taking them off as -hastily as if it had been fire, he cried within himself. "What do I do, -wretched man! I insult Cucufa's advice. For the sake of satisfying a -silly curiosity, I am going to run the hazard of losing my mistress and -my life. If her Toy should be in the humor of talking extravagantly, -I should never see her more, and I should dye of grief. And who knows -what a Toy may have in its soul?" Mangogul's agitation made him in some -measure forget himself: he pronounced these last words pretty loud, and -the favorite awoke. "Ah, Prince," said she, less surprized than charmed -at his presence, "you are here. Why did you not send me notice? Must -you condescend to wait for my awaking?" - -Mangogul answered the favorite by relating the success of his interview -with Cucufa, shew'd her the ring, and did not conceal one of its -properties from her. "Ah! what a diabolical secret has he given you!" -cry'd Mirzoza. "But pray, Prince, do you intend to make any use of it." -"How," said the Sultan, "do I intend to use it? I shall begin by you, -if you argue with me." At these terrible words the favorite turn'd -pale, trembled, recover'd herself, and conjured the Sultan by Brama, -and all the Pagoda's of the Indies and Congo, not to try the experiment -on her of a secret power, which indicated a diffidence of her fidelity. -"If I have been constantly honest," continued she, "my Toy will not -speak a word, and you will have done me such an injury as I shall -never forgive. If it happens to speak, I shall lose your esteem and -heart, and that will make you run distracted. Hitherto you have, in my -opinion, found your account in our connection; why would you run the -risk of breaking it off? Prince, believe me. Follow the advice of the -Genius; he has had great experience, and advices of Genius are always -good to follow." - -"This is exactly what I was saying to myself," answered Mangogul, "when -you awoke. And yet if you had slept two minutes longer, I cannot answer -for what might have happened." - -"What would have happened," says Mirzoza, "is, that my Toy would have -given you no information, and that you would have lost me for ever." - -"That may be," replied Mangogul; "but now that I have a full view of -the danger which I incurred, I solemnly swear to you by the eternal -Pagoda, that you shall be excepted from the number of those, on whom I -shall turn the ring." - -At these words Mirzoza brightened up, and fell to joking at the expence -of the Toys which the Prince should hereafter interrogate. "Cydalisa's -Toy," said she, "has many stories to tell, and if it be as indiscreet -as its mistress, it will not require much intreaty. Haria's Toy is -no longer of this world, and your highness will obtain no tales from -it of fresher date than the days of my grandmother. As for that of -Glauce, I believe it is a proper one to be consulted. She is a coquet -and pretty." "And for that reason precisely it is," replied the Sultan, -"that her Toy will be mute." "Why then," said the Sultana, "apply to -that of Phedima, she is ugly, and loves gallantry." "Yes," continued -the Sultan; "and so ugly, that one must be as ill-natured as you, to -accuse her of gallantry. Phedima is sober; 'tis I who say it, and who -know something of the matter." "As sober as you please," replied the -favorite, "but she has a sort of grey eyes that speak the contrary." -"Her eyes belye her," said the Sultan warmly. "You tire my patience -with your Phedima. Might not one say, that there is no other Toy but -this to examine." "But may I presume, without offending your highness," -added Mirzoza, "to ask which is the first you intend to honour with -your choice." "We shall see anon," said Mangogul, "in the circle of the -Manimonbanda, (the Congese name of the great Sultana). We shall have -a good deal of work upon our hands and when we happen to be tired of -the Toys of my court, we may chance make a tour thro' Banza. Possibly -we may find those of the city women more reasonable than those of -dutchesses." "Prince," said Mirzoza, "I have some acquaintance with -the former, and can assure you, that they are only more circumspect." -"We shall soon hear from them: but I cannot refrain from laughter," -continued Mangogul, "when I think on the confusion and surprize of -these women at the first words of their Toys, ha, ha, ha! Remember, -delight of my soul, that I shall expect you at the great Sultana's, -and that I shall make no use of my ring till you are come." "Prince," -said Mirzoza, "I rely on the promise you have made me." Mangogul smiled -at her allarm, reiterated his promise, sealed them with kisses, and -retired. - - - - -CHAP. VI. - -_First Trial of the Ring._ - -Alcina. - - -Mangogul arrived before her at the great Sultana's, and found all the -ladies very busy at cards. He survey'd all those, whose reputation was -established, fully resolved to try his ring on one of them, and his -only difficulty was in the choice. While, he was in suspence by whom -to begin, he spied a young lady of the household of the Manimonbanda -in a window. She was toying with her husband; which appear'd singular -to the Sultan, inasmuch as they had been married above eight days. -They had made their appearance in the same box at the Opera, in the -same coach at the Bois de Boulogne, they had finished their visits; -and the fashion of the times exempted them from loving or even meeting -each other. "If this Toy," says Mangogul, "is as silly as its mistress, -we shall have a diverting soliloquy." At this instant the favorite -appear'd. "Welcome," said the Sultan to her in a whisper. "I have cast -my lead, waiting for you." "And on whom?" ask'd Mirzoza. "On that -couple which you see sporting in that window," answer'd Mangogul with a -wink. "Well set out," replied the favorite. - -Alcina, for that was the young lady's name, was sprightly and pretty. -The Sultan's court had few women more amiable, and not one of a gayer -disposition. One of the Sultan's Emirs had filled his head with her. -He was not left in ignorance of what the chronicle had published -concerning Alcina: the report alarm'd him, but he followed the custom: -he consulted his mistress about it. Alcina swore, that it was pure -calumny invented by some coxcombs, who would have been silent, if -they had had any reason for talking; but however, that there was no -harm done, and that he was at full liberty to believe it or not, as -he thought proper. This answer, delivered with an air of confidence, -convinced the amorous Emir of his mistress's innocence. He closed -the affair, and assumed the title of Alcina's husband with all its -prerogatives. - -The Sultan levelled his ring at her. A loud burst of laughter, which -seized Alcina at some comical saying of her husband, was suddenly cut -short by the operation of the ring; and immediately a murmuring noise -was heard under her petticoats. "Well, now I am titled. Truly I am -glad on't. Nothing like having a rank. If my first advices had been -heeded, I should have been provided with something better than an -Emir: but yet an Emir is better than nothing." At these words all the -ladies quitted the game, to seek from what quarter the voice issued. -This movement made a great noise. "Silence," says Mangogul, "this -deserves attention." They obeyed, and the Toy continued. "One would be -apt to think, that a husband is a guest of great importance, by the -precautions which are taken to receive him. What preparatives! What -profusion of myrtle water! Another fortnight of this regimen would -have demolished me. I had disappear'd, and the Emir might have sought -lodgings elsewhere, or have shipped me off for the island Jonquille." -Here my author says, that all the ladies grew pale, look'd at each -other in deep silence, and grew vastly serious; which he ascribes to -their fear, lest the conversation should grow warm, and become general. -"Yet," continued Alcina's Toy, "in my opinion the Emir did neither -require nor stand in need of so many formalities: but I must still -acknowledge the prudence of my mistress. She guarded against the worst, -and I was treated for the great lord as for his little page." - -The Toy was on the point of continuing its extravagant harangue, when -the Sultan, observing that this strange scene shock'd the modest -Manimonbanda, interrupted the orator by turning off the ring. The Emir -had vanish'd at the first words of his wife's Toy. Alcina, without -being disconcerted, pretended to take a nap: mean while the ladies -whispered that she had the vapours. "Yes," says a _Petit-maitre_, "---- -Vapours: Ch----y calls them hysterics, as much as to say, things which -come from the lower region. For this case he has a divine elixir; it is -a principle, principiating, principiated, which revives----which----I -will propose it to the lady." The company laugh'd at this gibberish, -and our Cynic resumed. "Nothing more true, ladies: I, who speak, have -used it for a deperdition of substance." "A deperdition of substance, -good marquiss," said a young person, "pray what is that?" "Madam," -replied the marquiss, "it is one of those casual accidents which -happen----but every body knows it." - -By this time the pretended drowziness went off. Alcina sat down to play -with as much intrepidity as if her Toy either had not spoken a word, -or had made the finest speech in the world. Nay, she was the only lady -that play'd without distraction. This sitting was worth a considerable -sum to her. The rest did not know what they were about, could not count -the dots on the cards, forgot their reckonings, neglected their good -luck, dealt wrong, and committed a hundred other mistakes, of which -Alcina took the advantage. In fine, they broke up play, and every one -withdrew. - -This adventure made great noise not only at court and in town, but -all over Congo. Epigrams were handed about on it. The discourse of -Alcina's Toy was published, revised, corrected, enlarged and commented -by the Agreeables of the court. The Emir was lampoon'd, and his wife -immortalized. She was pointed at in the play-house, and followed in the -public walks. People flock'd about her, and she heard them buzzing: -"Yes, 'tis she: her Toy made a discourse two hours long." Alcina bore -her new reputation with admirable tranquillity. She listened to these -expressions, and many more, with a serenity, which the rest of the -women could not shew. They were every moment under apprehensions of -some indiscretions being committed by their Toys: but the adventure of -the following chapter compleated their confusion. - -As soon as the company had broke up, Mangogul gave his hand to the -favorite, and conduced her to her appartment. She was far from having -that lively chearful air, which seldom quitted her. She had lost -considerably at play, and the effect of the dreadful ring had plunged -her into a pensiveness, out of which she was not yet thoroughly -recovered. She knew the Sultan's curiosity, and she had not sufficient -confidence in the promises of a man less amorous than despotic, to -be free from uneasiness. "What ails you, my soul's delight?" said -Mangogul. "You are pensive." "I played with bad luck without example," -answered Mirzoza. "I lost the possibility. I had twelve tableaux, and -I don't think I mark'd three times." "That is vexatious," replied -Mangogul; "but what think you of my secret?" "Prince," said the -favorite, "I persist in deeming it diabolical. Doubtless it will amuse -you, but that amusement will be attended with dismal consequences. You -are going to spread discord in every family, undeceive husbands, throw -lovers into despair, ruin wives, dishonour daughters, and raise a -thousand other hurly-burlys. Ah! Prince, I conjure you.----" "By the -light," said Mangogul, "you moralize like Nicole! I would be glad to -know why the concern for your neighbour touches you so to the quick. -No, no, madam; I will keep my ring. And what do I matter those husbands -undeceived, those lovers thrown into despair, those wives ruined, those -daughters dishonoured, provided I amuse myself. Am I then a Sultan -for nothing? Good night, madam, we must hope that future scenes will -be more comic than the first, and that you will take more pleasure in -them by degrees." "I do not believe it, sir," replied Mirzoza. "And -for my part, I promise you, that you will find pleasant Toys, nay, so -pleasant, that you cannot refuse giving them audience. And what would -you do, if I sent them to you in quality of ambassadors? I will if you -desire it, spare you the trouble of their harangues; but as to the -recital of their adventures, you shall hear it either from their own -mouths or mine. 'Tis a determined point; and I can abate nothing of it. -Resolve to familiarize yourself with these new speech-makers." At these -words he embraced her, and went into his closet, reflecting on the -trial he had made, and devoutly thanking the Genius Cucufa. - - - - -CHAP. VII. - -_Second trial of the Ring._ - -The Altars. - - -The next evening there was to be a private supper in Mirzoza's -appartment. The persons invited came early. Before the prodigy of the -preceding day, people came by inclination; this night they came purely -out of politeness. All the ladies had an air of constraint, and spoke -in monosyllables. They were upon the watch, and expected every moment, -that some Toy would join in conversation. Notwithstanding their itch -of bringing Alcina's odd adventure on the carpet, none of them dared -to undertake opening the topic. Not that they were restrained by her -presence: tho' included in the supper-list, she did not appear; it -was judged that she had a swimming in her head. However, whether it -was that they became less apprehensive of danger, as the whole day -long they had heard no body speak but from the mouth; or whether they -affected to appear courageous, the conversation revived, the women most -suspected composed their countenances, put on an air of assurance, and -Mirzoza ask'd the courtier Zegris, if he knew any entertaining news. -"Madam," replied Zegris, "you have been informed of a match between -the Aga Chazour and young Siberina: I assure you it is broke off." -"Upon what account?" interrupted the favorite. "On account of a strange -voice," continued Zegris, "which Chazour says he heard at the toilet of -his princess. Since yesterday, the Sultan's court is full of people, -who go with their ears cock'd, in hopes of catching, I can't say how, -such declarations, as most certainly the persons concerned have no -inclination to make them." - -"That is silly," replied the favorite. "Alcina's misfortune, if it be -one, is far from being averred. We have not got to the bottom----" - -"Madam," interrupted Zelmaida, "I have heard her most distinctly. She -spoke without opening her mouth. The facts were well articulated, and -it was not very difficult to guess whence this extraordinary sound -issued. I assure you, that I should have died, were I in her place." - -"Died!" replied Zegris. "Folks survive other sorts of accidents." -"How?" cried Zelmaida. "Can there be a more dreadful one than the -indiscretion of a Toy? Well, there is no medium left. One must either -renounce gallantry, or resolve to pass for a woman of pleasure." -"Indeed," said Mirzoza, "the option is severe." "No, no, madam," -replied another lady, "you will see that women will fix their -resolution. They will allow Toys to prate as much as they please; and -will go their own way, without troubling themselves with what the world -shall say. And after all, what does it signify, whether it be a woman's -Toy or her lover that proves indiscreet? Are things less exposed?" - -"Upon a serious consideration of the whole affair," continued a third, -"if a woman's adventures must be divulged, 'tis better it should happen -by her Toy than her lover." - -"The notion is singular," said the favorite; "and true," replied she -who had broach'd it: "for, pray, observe that a lover is generally -dissatisfied, before he becomes indiscreet, and therefore tempted to -be revenged by exaggerating every thing: whereas a Toy talks without -passion, and adds nothing to the truth." - -"For my part," said Zelmaida, "I am not of that opinion. In this case -it is not so much the importance of the depositions, as the strength of -the evidence, that ruins the criminal. A lover, who by his discourse -dishonours the Altar, on which he has sacrificed, is a kind of impious -person, who deserves no credit: but if the altar lifts up its voice, -what answer can be made." - -"That the altar knows not what it says," replied the second. Monima, -hitherto mute, broke silence, in order to say in a dragging, lazy -tone: "Ah! let my Altar, since you call it so, speak or be silent, I -fear nothing from its talk." - -Mangogul enter'd that very instant, and Monima's last words did not -escape him. He levell'd his Ring at her, and her Toy was heard to cry -out: "Do not believe her, she lies." Her female neighbours, gazing -at each other, ask'd whose Toy it was that made this answer. "'Tis -not mine," said Zelmaida; "nor mine," said another; "nor mine," said -Monima; "nor mine," said the Sultan. Every one, and the favorite among -the rest, persisted in the negative. - -The Sultan, taking the advantage of this incertainty, and addressing -the ladies, said: "You have Altars then? Pray, how are they feasted?" -As he was speaking, he nimbly turn'd his Ring successively on all the -women except Mirzoza; and every one of their Toys answering in its -turn, these words were heard in different tones. "I am frequented, -batter'd, abandon'd, perfum'd, fatigu'd, ill serv'd, disgusted, -&c." They all spoke their word, but so precipitately, that no just -application could be made. Their jargon, sometimes rumbling, sometimes -yelping, accompanied with loud laughs of Mangogul and his courtiers, -made a noise of a new kind. The ladies agreed with a very grave air, -that it was very diverting. "How," said the Sultan, "sure we are too -happy, that the Toys deign to speak our language, and furnish half the -expence of the conversation. Society must be a considerable gainer by -this duplication of organs. Possibly we men shall speak also in our -turn, by something else besides our mouths. Who knows? What agrees so -perfectly well with Toys, may happen to be destin'd to make questions -and responses to them: nevertheless my anatomist is of a different -opinion." - - - - -CHAP. VIII. - -_Third trial of the Ring._ - -The Private Supper. - - -Supper was served up, the company sate down at table, and at first -they diverted themselves at Monima's charge: all the women unanimously -agreed that her Toy had spoke first; and she must have sunk under this -confederacy, had not the Sultan taken her part. "I do not pretend," -said he, "that Monima is less gallant than Zelmaida; but I believe her -Toy has more discretion. Besides, when the mouth and Toy of a woman -contradict each other, which to believe?" "Sir," replied a courtier, -"I know not what Toys will say hereafter; but hitherto they have -explain'd themselves on a subject, which is very familiar to them. As -long as they shall have the prudence to speak of nothing but what they -understand, I shall believe them as so many oracles." "Others," said -Mirzoza, "of greater authenticity might be consulted." "Pray, madam," -replied Mangogul, "what interest can these have in disguising the -truth? Nothing but a chimæra of honour could be their motive: but a -Toy has none of these chimæras. That is not the place of prejudices." -"A chimera of honour," said Mirzoza, "prejudices! If your highness -had been exposed to the same inconveniences with us, you would become -sensible, that whatever touches virtue, is far from being chimærical." -All the ladies, encouraged by the Sultana's answer, insisted that it -was superfluous to put them to certain proofs; and Mangogul, that these -proofs were generally dangerous at least. - -This conversation ushered in the champagne: it moved briskly round, -they plied it close, and it warmed the Toys. Then it was that Mangogul -had intended to resume his frolicks. He turn'd his ring on a very gay -sprightly young lady, who sate pretty near him, and directly opposite -to her husband: and immediately issued from under the table a plaintive -noise, a weak languishing voice, which said: "Oh, how I am harrassed! I -can bear it no longer, I am at death's door." "How, by the Pagoda Pongo -Sabiam," cried Husseim, "my wife's Toy speaks, and what can it say?" -"We are going to hear," answered the Sultan.----"Prince, you will -permit me not to be of the number of its auditors," replied Husseim; -"for if any thing ridiculous drop'd from it, do you think?"----"I think -you are a fool," said the Sultan, "to alarm yourself at the prattle of -a Toy: do we not know a good part of what it can say, and may we not -guess the rest? Sit down, then, and endeavour to divert yourself." - -Husseim sat down, and his wife's Toy began to prate like a magpye. -"Shall I eternally have this huge Flandrian Valanto? I have seen some -who have made an end; but this man"----At these words Husseim arose in -a fury, snatch'd up a knife, sprang to the other side of the table; -and would have pierced his wife's breast, if his neighbours had not -prevented him. "Husseim," said the Sultan, "you make too much noise: -the company cannot hear. Might not one say, that your wife's Toy is -the only one that has not common sense? And what would become of these -ladies, if their husbands were of your humour? How! you are out of your -wits for a pitiful little adventure of one Valanto, who never made an -end. Return to your seat, behave like a man of honour; see that you -watch yourself, and not commit a second failure before a prince, who -admits you to his pleasures." - -While Husseim, stifling his rage, was leaning on the back of a chair, -his eyes shut, and his hand on his forehead; the Sultan dexterously -levell'd his Ring, and the Toy went on. "Valanto's young page would -suit me pretty well: but I know not when he will begin. In the mean -time till the one begins, and the other makes an end, I practise -patience with the Bramin Egon. He is a frightful figure, I must own: -but his talent is to make an end and begin again. Oh, what a great man -a Bramin is!" - -By the time the Toy had got as far as this exclamation, Husseim blush'd -to fret for a woman who was so unworthy, and fell a laughing with the -rest of the company; but he kept something in reserve for his spouse. -The entertainment being over, every one went home directly, except -Husseim, who conducted his wife into a house of veiled maidens, and -there shut her up. Mangogul being inform'd of her disgrace paid her a -visit. He found the whole community busy in comforting her, but still -more in trying to get the secret of her exile from her. "'Tis for a -mere trifle," said she, "that I am here. Being last night at supper -with the Sultan, the Champagne was whip'd about, the Tokay gallop'd, -people hardly knew what they said, when my Toy must needs fall to -prating. I do not remember on what subject it talk'd, but it made my -husband take dudgeon." - -"To be sure, Madam, he is in the wrong," replied the nuns: "people -ought not to put themselves into such passions for trifles!----How! -your Toy has spoke. Pray does it speak still? How charm'd we should -be to hear it! It must certainly express itself with wit and a good -grace." They were gratified: for the Sultan turn'd his ring on the poor -recluse, and her Toy thank'd them for their civilities; protesting -to them at the same time, that how pleased soever it was with their -company, that of a Bramin would suit it better. - -The Sultan embraced the opportunity, to learn some particulars of -the life of these virgins. His Ring interrogated the Toy of a young -recluse, whose name was Cleanthis; and the pretended virgin-Toy -confessed two gardeners, a Bramin, and three cavaliers; and related -how by the assistance of a purging draught and two bleedings, she had -escaped giving scandal. Zephirina owned, by the organ of her Toy, that -she was indebted to the errand-boy of the house, for the honourable -title of mother. But one thing that astonish'd the Sultan, was, that -tho' those sequester'd Toys expressed themselves in very indecent -terms; the virgins, to whom they belong'd, heard them without blushing: -which made him conjecture, that if they failed of the practical part in -those retreats, they had in return a large share of speculation. - -In order to clear up this point, he turn'd his ring on a novice between -fifteen and sixteen years of age. "Flora," said her Toy, "has more -than once ogled a young officer thro' the grate. I am certain that she -had an inclination for him. Her little finger told me so." This was a -mortifying stroke for Flora. The ancient ladies condemned her to two -months silence and discipline; and ordered prayers, that the Toys of -the community might remain mute. - - - - -CHAP. IX. - -_The state of the academy of sciences at Banza._ - - -Mangogul had scarcely quitted the recluses, among whom I left him, when -a report was spread thro' Banza, that the virgins of the congregation -of Brama's Coccyx, spoke by their Toys. This report, to which Husseim's -violent proceedings had given credit, rouzed the curiosity of the -learned. The phænomenon was thoroughly examined and allowed: and the -freethinkers began to seek in the properties of matter, the reasons -of a fact, which they had at first deemed impossible. The tattle of -the Toys gave birth to a great number of excellent works; and this -important subject swell'd the collections of the academies with -several memoirs, which may be esteemed the utmost efforts of human -understanding. - -In order to model and perpetuate that of Banza, invitations with -suitable encouragement had been, and still continued to be, given to -all persons of the brightest parts in Congo, Monoémugi, Beleguanza, -and the circumjacent kingdoms. It took in, under different titles, -all those who had distinguished themselves in natural history, natural -philosophy, mathematicks, and the greatest part of those, who promised -to make a figure in them one time or other. This swarm of indefatigable -bees labour'd incessantly in the research of truth, and every year -the public reaped the fruits of their labours in a volume full of -discoveries. - -It was at that time divided into two factions, the one composed -of Vorticists, and the other of Attractionists. Olibrio, an able -geometrician and great natural philosopher, founded the sect of -the Vorticists. Circino, an able natural philosopher and great -geometrician, was the first Attractionist. Both Olibrio and Circino -proposed to explain nature. Olibrio's principles have at first sight a -certain air of simplicity, which seduces: in the gross they account -for the principal phænomena, but they contradict themselves in the -detail. As for Circino, he seems to set out upon an absurdity; but 'tis -the first step alone that is expensive. The minute details, which ruin -Olibrio's system, establish his. He follows a road, dark at entrance, -but which grows more lightsome according as a person advances. On -the contrary, that of Olibrio, lightsome at entrance, grows darker -and darker. The philosophy of the latter requires less study than -understanding. One cannot be a disciple of the former, without a large -share of understanding and study. One enters without preparation into -Olibrio's school; every body has the key of it. That of Circino is -open to none but geometricians of the first class. Olibrio's Vortices -are within the reach of all capacities. Circino's central powers are -made for first rate Algebraists only. Wherefore there will always be -an hundred Vorticists for one Attractionist; and one Attractionist -will always be worth an hundred Vorticists. Such was the state of -the academy of sciences at Banza, when it handled the subject of the -indiscreet Toys. - -This phænomenon was very slippery: it dodged the attraction, and the -subtile matter could not come within reach of it. In vain did the -president summon all those who had any notions, to communicate them: -a profound silence reigned in the assembly. At length Persiflo the -Vorticist, who had published treatises on many subjects, which he did -not understand, rose up and said: "The fact, gentlemen, might well -agree with the system of the world. I should suspect that it has in -general the same cause with the tides. For pray take notice, that -this day is the equinoctial full moon. But before I can depend on my -conjecture, I must wait to hear what the Toys will say next month." - -The company shrug'd their shoulders: they dared not remonstrate to -him, that he reasoned like a Toy; but as he is a man of penetration he -perceived in an instant that they thought as much. - -The Attractionist Reciproco opened, and said: "Gentlemen, I have tables -calculated by a theory on the highth of the tides in every port of the -kingdom. True it is, that observations somewhat bely my calculations: -but I flatter myself that this small inconvenience will be repaired -by the advantage that will result from them, if the tattle of Toys -continues to square with the phænomena of the ebb and flow." - -A third person started up, went to the board, traced his figure, and -said "let a Toy be A B, and----" - -Here the ignorance of the translators has deprived us of a -demonstration, which without doubt the African author had preserv'd. -After a blank of about two pages, we read: Reciproco's reasoning was -thought demonstrative; and it was unanimously agreed, from the essays -he had given on dialectics, that he would be able one day or other to -make this deduction: women have from time immemorial heard with their -ears: therefore they ought at this day to speak by their Toys. - -Doctor Orcotomus, of the tribe of Anatomists, spoke next, and said: -"Gentlemen, I am of opinion, that it would be properer to drop a -phænomenon, than to seek its cause in vapory hypotheses. For my -part, I would not have open'd my mouth, if I had nought but trifling -conjectures to offer: but I have examined, studied, meditated. I -have seen Toys in the paroxysm, and I am got so far, by means of my -knowledge of the parts, and experience, as to be convinced, that that -which in Greek we call Delphys, has all the properties of the windpipe, -and that there are some who can speak as well by the Toy as by the -mouth. Yes, gentlemen, the Delphys is a string and wind instrument; -but much more a string than a wind one. The outward air, which lights -on it, properly does the office of a bow on the tendinous fibres of -the wings, which I shall call ribbons or vocal strings. The gentle -collision of this air and the vocal strings puts them into a trembling -motion; and it is by their quicker or slower vibrations, that they -utter different sounds. The person modifies these sounds at discretion, -speaks, and even might sing. - -"As there are but two ribbons or vocal strings, and as they are to -the eye of equal length, it will doubtless be ask'd, how they suffice -to give the multitude of sounds, grave and acute, strong and weak, of -which the human voice is capable. I answer, in pursuing the comparison -of this organ with musical instruments, that their lengthening and -shortening are sufficient to produce these effects. - -"That these parts are capable of distention and contraction, is -needless to be demonstrated in an assembly of Literati of your rank: -but that in consequence of this distention and contraction, the Delphys -can utter sounds more or less acute; in a word, all the inflexions of -the voice, and modulation of singing; is a fact, which I flatter myself -I shall put out of doubt. My appeal is to experiments. Yes, gentlemen, -I engage to make both a Delphys and a Toy reason, speak, nay, and sing -too, before ye." - -Thus harangued Orcotomus, promising to himself nothing less than to -raise the Toys to the level of the windpipes of one of his learned -brethren, whose success jealousy had attack'd in vain. - - - - -CHAP. X. - -_Less learned and less tedious than the preceding. Continuation of the -academical sitting._ - - -By the difficulties started against Orcotomus, before he could make -his experiments, it appeared, that his notions were judged to have -less of solidity than ingenuity. "If Toys have the faculty of speech -naturally," say they, "why have they not made use of it till now? If -it was an effect of the goodness of Brama, who has been pleased to -endow women with so strong a desire of talking, to double the organs -of speech in them; it is very strange, that they have so long been -ignorant of, or at least neglected this valuable gift of nature. Why -has not the same Toy spoke more than once? Why has none of them spoke -of aught but the same subject? By what mechanism does it fall out, -that one of the mouths is forcibly kept shut, while the other speaks? -Moreover," added they, "if we judge of the prattle of Toys by the -circumstances, in which most of them have spoken, and by the things -they have told; there is all the reason in the world to believe it -involuntary, and that those parts would continue mute, if it had been -in the power of their possessors to impose silence on them." - -Orcotomus arose to answer these objections, and insisted that Toys -talk'd in all ages; but so low, that what they said was hardly heard, -even by those to whom they belonged. That it is not surprizing, -that they have raised their voice in our days, when the freedom of -conversation is carried so high, that one may without impudence and -indiscretion converse on those things, which are the most familiar to -them: that if they have spoke audibly but once, we are not to infer -that that will be the only time. That there is a vast difference -between being mute and keeping silence; that if they have talk'd but on -one and the same subject only, probably the reason is, that it is the -only one, of which they have ideas. That those who have not spoke as -yet, will speak. That if they remain silent, it is because they have -nothing to say, or that they are ill made, or want ideas and terms. - -"In a word," continued he, "to pretend that it was an effect of the -goodness of Brama to grant to women the means of gratifying their -strong desire of talking, by multiplying in them the organs of speech; -is to grant, that if this benefaction drag'd any inconveniences after -it, it was an effect of his wisdom to prevent them: and this he has -done, by compelling one of the mouths to keep silence, while the -other speaks. It is already but too inconvenient for us, that women -change their mind from one instant to another: what then would it have -been, if Brama had left them the power of being of two contradictory -sentiments at the same time? Further, the gift of speech has been -given, purely in order to be understood; but the women, who find it a -difficult talk to understand one another with a single mouth each, how -could they possibly do it, if they spoke with two at a time?" - -Thus Orcotomus answered several things, and thought he had given -satisfactory solutions to all difficulties: but he was mistaken. New -doubts were raised, and he was on the point of sinking under them; when -Cimonazes came to his assistance. Then the dispute became tumultuous. -They stray'd wide of the question, they bewilder'd themselves, they -return'd, they bewilder'd themselves a second time, they grew angry, -they brawled; from brawling they pass'd to injurious words, and the -academical sitting ended. - - - - -CHAP. XI. - -_Fourth trial of the Ring._ - -The Echo. - - -While the prattle of the Toys employed the academy, in other companies -it became the news of the day, and the subject of the morrow, and of -several succeeding days. It was an inexhaustible text. True facts were -blended with false; every thing went down, the prodigy had removed all -incredulity. In conversation people lived on it upwards of six months. - -The Sultan had made but three trials of his ring; and yet, in a circle -of ladies who were allowed a stool at the Manimonbanda's, one of them -related a discourse held by the Toy of a president's lady, next that -of a marchioness, then she disclosed the pious secrets of a devotee, -in fine those of several women who were not there: and God knows the -stories that were father'd on their Toys; nor was there any parcimony -of smutty tales. From facts they came to reflections. "I must confess," -says one of those ladies, "that this witchcraft (for it is a spell -cast on Toys) keeps us in a cruel state. How! to be eternally under -apprehensions of hearing an impertinent voice issuing from one's -self." "But madam," answered another, "this fright astonishes us with -regard to you. When a Toy has nothing ridiculous to tell, what does -it signify, whether it be silent or speak?" "It signifies so much," -replied the first, "that I would freely give half my jewels, to be -assured that mine will never speak." "Surely," replied the second, -"there must be substantial reasons for keeping measures with people, -to purchase their discretion at so high a price." "I have not better -reasons than another," said Cephisa: "and yet I do not eat my words. -Twenty thousand crowns, is not too large a sum to buy tranquillity: for -I will frankly own, that I have not more confidence in my Toy than in -my mouth, and many silly things have slipt from me in my life. I hear -every day so many incredible adventures unveiled, attested, detailed -by Toys, that even retrenching three fourths, the remaining part is -sufficient to destroy a reputation. If mine should prove but half so -great a lyer as all those, I should be ruined. Was it not enough then -that our conduct was in the power of our Toys, without our reputation -being dependent on their discourses?" "For my part," answered Ismene -smartly, without entering into endless arguments, "I allow things to go -their own way. If it be Brama, that has given the faculty of speech to -Toys, as my Bramin has convinced me, he will not suffer them to lye. It -would be impious to assert the contrary. Wherefore my Toy may talk as -often and much as it will. But after all what will it say?" - -Then was heard a hollow voice, which seemed to come out of the ground, -and answered by way of Echo: _Many things_. Ismene, not imagining -whence the answer proceeded, flew into a passion, attack'd her -neighbours, and increased the diversion of the company. The Sultan, -charmed with her mistake, quitted his minister, with whom he was in -conference in a corner, went to her, and said: "I am afraid, madam, you -have heretofore admitted some one of these ladies into your confidence, -and that their Toys are so malicious as to recollect histories, which -your own might have forgot." - -At the same time, by moving his ring up and down with dexterity, -Mangogul caused a very singular dialogue between the lady and her -Toy. Ismene, who had always conducted her little affairs well enough, -and had never had a confidante, answer'd the Sultan, that all the -art of calumniators would be ineffectual. "_Perhaps,_" answer'd -the unknown voice. "How, perhaps," reply'd Ismene, piqued at this -injurious doubt, "what have I to fear from them?" "_Every thing, if -they knew as much as I._" "And what do you know?" "_Many things, I -tell you._" "Many things, that says much, but means nothing. Can you -tell any particulars?" "_Without doubt._" "And of what nature? Have -I been really in Love?" "_No._" "Have I had intrigues, adventures?" -"_Exactly._" "And with whom, pray? With Petits-maitres, military men, -senators?" "_No._" "Comedians?" "_No._" "You shall see, it was with my -pages, my footmen, my confessor, or my husband's chaplain." "_No._" -"Mr Impostor, you are at your wits end?" "_Not quite._" "Yet I can see -no other person, with whom one can possibly have adventures. Was it -before, was it after my marriage? Answer me then, impertinent." "_Ah, -madam, spare invectives, if you please. Compel not the best of your -friends to take some disagreeable steps._" "Speak, my dear, tell, tell -all. I value your services as little as I fear your indiscretion. -Explain your self: I not only give you full permission, but even -dare you to it." "_To what do you reduce me, Ismene?_" said the Toy, -breathing a deep sigh. "To render justice to vertue." "_Well then, -virtuous Ismene, have you quite forgot young Osmin, the sangiac Zegris, -your dancing master Alaziel, your music master Almoura?_" "Ah! what -horrid calumnies," cried Ismene. "I had a mother, who was too vigilant -to expose me to such irregularities: and my husband, were he here, -would testify that he found me just such as he could wish." "_Very -true,_" replied the Toy, "_thanks to the secret of your intimate friend -Alcina._" - -"This is so extravagantly and so grossly ridiculous," said Ismene, -"that it deserves no refutation. I cannot say," continued she, "which -of these ladies Toys it is, that pretends to be so knowing in my -affairs: but it has related things, of which my own does not know a -syllable." "Madam," answered Cephisa, "I can assure you, that mine -has gone no farther than giving ear." The rest said as much, and they -sate down to play, without precisely knowing the interlocutor of the -conversation above related. - - - - -CHAP. XII. - -_Fifth Trial of the Ring._ - -Play. - - -Most of the ladies who made the party with the Manimonbanda, play'd -with great eagerness; and it was not necessary to have Mangogul's -sagacity, to perceive it. The passion of gaming is one of those that -puts on the least disguise. It shews itself, whether in winning or -losing, by strong symptoms. "But whence proceeds this fury?" said he -within himself. "How can the ladies bear to pass whole nights round a -Pharaoh table, to tremble in expectation of an ace or a seven? This -phrensy injures their health and beauty, when they have any: without -reckoning the disorders into which I am sure it precipitates them. I -have a great desire," said he to Mirzoza in the ear, "to execute here a -thought just come into my head." "And what is this fine thought, which -you meditate?" said the favorite. "It is," answered Mangogul, "to turn -my ring on the most unbridled of these brelandiers, to interrogate her -Toy, and to transmit by that organ, a good advice to all those weak -husbands, who allow their wives to stake the honour and fortune of -their house on a card or a dye." - -"I like this notion mightily," replied Mirzoza; "but know, Prince, -that the Manimonbanda has just now sworn by her Pagoda's, that she -would keep no more drawing-room nights, if ever she found herself again -exposed to the impudence of Engastrimuthes." "What have you said, -my soul's delight?" interrupted the Sultan. "I have," answered the -favorite, "made use of the name, which the modest Manimonbanda gives -to all those, whose Toys have the faculty of speech." "It is of the -invention of her stupid Bramin, who values himself upon knowing the -Greek, and being ignorant of the Congese language," replied the Sultan. -"However, with the Manimonbanda's leave, and that of her chaplain too, -I would desire to question Manilla's Toy; and it would be proper to -make the interrogatories here, for the edification of the neighbours." -"Prince," said Mirzoza, "if you take my word, you will spare the -Manimonbanda the uneasiness this proceeding must give her: which you -may do, without balking your own curiosity or mine. Why do you not go -to Manilla's house?" "I will go, since you advise," said Mangogul. "But -at what hour?" said the Sultana. "About midnight," answered the Sultan. -"At midnight she is at play," said the favorite. "I will put off my -visit then till two in the morning," replied Mangogul. "Prince, you -don't consider," rejoined the favorite: "'tis the most pleasant hour -of the four and twenty for female gamesters. If your highness will be -led by me, you will take Manilla in her first sleep, between seven and -eight." - -Mangogul followed Mirzoza's advice, and visited Manilla about seven. -Her women were going to put her to bed. He judged by the sadness -predominant in her countenance, that she had play'd with bad luck. She -walk'd to and fro, stopp'd, lifted her eyes to heaven, stamp'd with her -foot, cover'd her eyes with her hands, and muttered somewhat, which -the Sultan could not understand. Her women, who were undressing her, -followed all these motions in panicks; and if they at length compassed -getting her into bed, it was not done without receiving harsh language -and something worse. Now Manilla is in bed, having made no other night -prayer, but some curses against a damned ace, which came seven times -successively to her loss. Scarcely had she closed her eyes, when -Mangogul levell'd his ring at her. Instantly her Toy exclaimed in a -sorrowful tone: "Now I am repiqued and capotted." The Sultan smiled to -hear that every thing about Manilla, even to her Toy, spoke gaming. -"No," continued the Toy, "I will never play against Abidul: he knows -nothing but tricking. Speak to me no more of Dares: with him one runs -the risq of some unlucky hits. Ismal is a pretty fair player, but every -body has him not that would. Mazulim was a treasure, before he fell -into the hands of Crissa. I don't know a more whimsical player than -Zulmis. Rica is less so; but the poor lad is run dry. What can one do -with Lazuli? The prettiest woman of Banza could not make him play high. -What a piddling player Mollius is! In truth, desolation has spread -among the gamesters: and e'er long we shall not know with whom to make -a party." - -After this Jeremiad, the Toy fell to relating uncommon strokes, of -which it had been a witness; and excessively extoll'd the constancy and -resources of its mistress in bad luck. "Were it not for me," it said, -"Manilla would have ruin'd herself twenty times over. All the Sultan's -treasures would not have discharged the debts that I have paid. In one -match at breland she lost to a farmer of the revenue and an _abbé_, -above ten thousand ducats. She had nothing left but her jewels: but -her husband had so lately redeem'd them, that she dared not to venture -them. Nevertheless she took the cards, and had one of those seducing -hands, which fortune sends, when she is on the point of cutting your -throat. They urged her to speak. Manilla look'd at her cards, put her -hand into her purse, whence she was sure to pull nothing, return'd to -her cards, examined them again, but without determining. 'Does madam -stand it at last?' said the farmer. 'Yes; I stake,' said she,--'I -stake--I stake my Toy.' 'For what value?' replied Turcares. 'For a -hundred ducats,' said Manilla. The _abbé_ withdrew, esteeming the Toy -too high rated. Turcares declared at it: Manilla lost and paid. - -"The silly vanity of possessing a titled Toy got the better of -Turcares. He offered to supply my mistress with play-money, on -condition that I should be subservient to his pleasures. The bargain -was struck in a moment. But as Manilla play'd high, and the farmer was -not inexhaustible, we soon saw the bottom of his coffers. - -"My mistress had appointed a most brilliant party at Pharaoh. All her -acquaintance were invited. They were to punt with nothing under ducats. -We depended on the purse of Turcares. But the morning of this great -day, the rascal wrote us word that he had not a penny, and left us in -the utmost consternation. However, we must extricate ourselves, and -there was not a moment to be lost. We pitch'd on an old chief of the -Bramins, to whom we sold at a dear rate some complaisances, which he -had sollicited a long time. This sitting cost him double the income of -his ecclesiastical preferment. - -"Turcares returned notwithstanding, in a few days. He said he was -excessively concerned that madam had taken him at a nonplus: he still -reckon'd on her goodness. 'Indeed you reckon ill, my dear,' replied -Manilla: 'I cannot with decency receive you more. When you were in a -condition to lend, the world knew why I admitted you: but now that you -are good for nothing, you would blast my honour.' - -"Turcares was piqued at this discourse, and so was I: for he was -perhaps the best lad in Banza. He waved his usual politeness, and gave -Manilla to understand, that she cost him more than three opera girls, -who would have amused him better, 'Alas!' cried he most mournfully, -'why did I not stick to my little milliner? She loved me to folly. I -made her so happy with a silk gown.'----Manilla, who did not relish -comparisons, interrupted him in a tone, eno' to make one tremble, and -bade him begone in an instant. Turcares knew her, and chose rather to -return peaceably down stairs, than to leap thro' the window. - -"After that, Manilla borrowed of another Bramin, who came, said she, -to administer comfort in her afflictions. The holy man succeeded the -farmer of the revenue, and we reimbursed him his comforts in the -same coin. She lost me several times more, and 'tis well known that -play-debts are the only ones that are paid among the _Beau Monde_. - -"If Manilla happens to play with good luck, she is the most regular -woman in Congo. Excepting her play, she takes surprising care of her -conduct: she is never heard to swear an oath: she entertains well: -she pays her mercer and other tradesmen, is liberal to her servants, -redeems her nicknacks sometimes, and caresses her lap dog and her -husband: but thirty times a month she risks these happy dispositions -and her money on an ace of spades. Such is the life she leads, and will -lead: and God knows how many times yet I shall be pawn'd." - -Here the Toy ceased, and Mangogul went to take repose. He was awaken'd -at five in the afternoon, and went to the opera, according to a promise -made to the favorite. - - - - -CHAP. XIII. - -_Of the opera at Banza._ - -_Sixth trial of the Ring._ - - -Of all the public diversions of Banza, none supported itself but the -opera. Utmiutsol and Utremifasolasiututut, two celebrated musicians, -one of whom was growing old, and the other was but just new-fledged, -alternately occupied the lyric scene. Each of these two original -authors had his partisans. The ignorant and the grey-bearded dotards -stood up for Utmiutsol; the smart young fellows and the Virtuosi were -for Utremifasolasiututut: and the people of taste, as well young as -old, held them both in high esteem. Utremifasolasiututut, said the -latter, is excellent when he is good, but he sleeps at times; and, -pray, to whom does not that happen? Utmiutsol holds up better, and is -more uniform. He is full of beauties; yet he has not one, of which -there are not examples to be found, and even more striking, in his -rival; in whom there are strokes to be observed, which are entirely -his own, and are not to be met with any where but in his works. Old -Utmiutsol is simple, natural, smooth, sometimes too smooth, and that is -his fault. Young Utremifasolasiututut is singular, brilliant, composed, -learned, sometimes too learned: but perhaps that is his hearer's -fault. The one has but one opening, beautiful indeed, but repeated at -the head of all his pieces. The other has made as many openings as -pieces, and they all pass for masterpieces. Nature guided Utmiutsol -in the ways of melody; study and experience discovered the sources -of harmony to Utremifasolasiututut. Who ever knew how to declaim, and -who will ever speak a part like the old man? Who will compose light -catches, voluptuous airs, and symphonies in character like the young -one? Utmiutsol is the only person who understood dialogue. Before -Utremifasolasiututut no body distinguished the delicate touches, which -separate the tender from the voluptuous, the voluptuous from the -passionate, the passionate from the lascivious. Nay some partisans of -the latter pretend, that if Utmiutsol's dialogue is superior to his, -this is not so much owing to the inequality of their talents, as to the -difference of the poets, whom they made use of. "Read, read," cried -they, "the scene of Dardanus, and you will be convinced, that if we -give good words to Utremifasolasiututut, Utmiutsol's charming scenes -will be revived." However that be, in my time, the whole town flock'd -to the tragedies of the latter, and people stifled one another at the -interludes of the former. - -They were just then exhibiting in Banza an excellent piece of -Utremifasolasiututut, which would never have been represented but in -nightcaps, had not the favorite Sultana had the curiosity to see it. -And besides, the periodical indisposition of Toys favored the jealousy -of the fiddles, and made the principal actress flinch. She, who -supplied her place, had not so good a voice, but as she made amends by -her manner of acting, nothing hindered the Sultan and the favorite from -honouring the piece with their presence. - -Mirzoza was already come, Mangogul comes, the curtain is raised, -they begin. Every thing went on marvellously well: Miss Chevalier had -effaced the memory of Miss le Maure, and they were at the fourth act, -when the Sultan bethought himself, in the middle of a chorus, which he -thought lasted too long, and had already cost the favorite two yawns, -to point his ring on all the singers. Never was there seen on the -stage so odd and comical a sight. Thirty women were struck dumb on a -sudden. Their mouths were wide open, and they kept the same theatrical -attitudes they held before. And at the same time their Toys made their -throats sore with the violence of singing, this a _Pont-neuf_, that a -_Vaudeville polisson_, another a very indecent parody, and all of them -extravagances relative to their characters. On one hand was heard, _oh -vraiment ma comere, oui_; on the other, _quoi douze fois?_ Here, _qui -me baise, est-ce Blaise?_ There, _rien, Pere Cyprien, ne vous retient_. -In fine, they all wound themselves up into a strain, so high, so rude, -and so mad, that they formed the most extravagant brawling ridiculous -choir, that had been heard before and since that of----no----d----on---- - -_Here the manuscript was worm-eaten._ - -All this while the Orchestra went on, and the loud laughs of the pit -and boxes joined to the sound of the instruments, and the singing of -the Toys, compleated the cacophony. - -Some of the actresses, fearing lest their Toys, tired with quavering -impertinences, might resolve to speak them out, ran behind the scenes: -but they escaped with the fright only. Mangogul being perswaded that -the public would learn nothing new, turn'd off his ring. In an instant -all the Toys were silent, the bursts of laughter ceased, the audience -grew calm, the play was resumed and finished peaceably. The curtain -drop'd, the Sultana and Sultan went off, and the Toys of our actresses -went to their several appointments, where they were to have a different -employment from singing. - -This affair made a great noise. The men laugh'd, the women were -alarmed, the Bonza's were scandalized, the academicians rack'd their -brains about it. But what did Orcotomus say? Orcotomus triumph'd. He -had hinted in one of his memoirs, that the Toys would infallibly sing: -they had sung accordingly, and this phænomenon, which disconcerted -his brethren, was to him a new ray of light, and compleated the -confirmation of his system. - - - - -CHAP. XIV. - -_Orcotomus's experiments._ - - -It was on the fifteenth of the moon of ----, that Orcotomus had read -his memoir to the academy, and communicated his thoughts on the tattle -of the Toys. As he then did with the greatest assurance promise to -produce infallible experiments, which he had repeated several times, -and always with success; the majority of people was struck with his -doctrine. For some time the public preserved the favorable impressions -they had received: and for full six weeks Orcotomus pass'd for having -made considerable discoveries. - -Nothing was wanting to complete his triumph, but performing before -the academy the famous experiments, which he had preached so loudly. -The assembly that met on this occasion was extremely brilliant. The -ministers of state graced the meeting: the Sultan himself did not -disdain to be there, but invisible. - -As Mangogul was a great Monologue maker, and the futility of the -conversations of his time had tainted him with the habitude of -soliloquy: "Either Orcotomus," said he, "must be an arrant quack, -or the Genius my protector, a great fool. If the academician, who -certainly is not a conjurer, can restore speech to dead Toys; the -Genius who protects me was in the wrong to make a compact, and sell his -soul to the devil, for the sake of communicating it to Toys full of -life." - -Mangogul was puzzling himself with such reflections, when he found -himself in the middle of his academy. Orcotomus had for spectators, -as appears, all those in Banza, who were knowing in the subject of -Toys. In order to be satisfied with his audience, all he wanted was -to give them satisfaction: but the issue of his experiments proved -very unhappy. Orcotomus took up a Toy, put his mouth to it, blew into -it till he was out of breath, quieted it, returned, tried another: -for he had brought a variety of them with him, of all ages, sizes, -conditions and colours: but in vain did he blow; nothing was heard but -inarticulate sounds, vastly different from what he had promised. - -Then ran a buzzing murmur thro' the company, which disconcerted him for -a moment: but he recovered himself, and alledged that such experiments -were not easy to be made before so great a number of people: and he -was right. - -Mangogul got up in wrath, went away, and in the twinkling of an eye -was in the favorite Sultana's appartment. "Well, prince," said she -upon seeing him, "who has won the day, you or Orcotomus? For his -Toys have performed wonders to be sure." The Sultan took some turns -about the room without a word of answer. "But," resumed the favorite, -"your highness seems dissatisfied." "Oh! madam, the impudence of that -Orcotomus is not to be match'd. Pray, do not so much as mention him -from this moment--What will you say, O future generations, when you -shall be informed, that the great Mangogul allowed a hundred thousand -crowns in yearly pensions to such fellows; while gallant officers, who -with their blood had watered the laurels that surround his brow, were -reduced to twenty pound a year?----By Jove, the thought distracts me: I -shall be out of humor this month to come." - -Here Mangogul broke off, and continued to walk about the room. He hung -down his head, marched to and fro, stop'd, and now and then stamp'd the -floor with his foot. He sat down a moment, rose up in a hurry, took his -leave of Mirzoza, forgot to kiss her, and retir'd to his own appartment. - -The African author, who has immortalized himself by the history of the -high and marvellous exploits of Erguebzed and Mangogul, continues in -these words: - -By Mangogul's ill humor it was thought, that he was on the point of -banishing all the learned out of his dominions. Far from it, the next -day he arose in a gay mood, performed his exercises at the riding-house -in the morning, in the evening supp'd with Mirzoza and some favorites, -under a magnificent tent in the gardens of the Seraglio, and never -appeared more disengaged from affairs of state. - -The dissatisfied and the disaffected of Congo, and the newsmongers of -Banza, did not fail to spread their reports of this conduct. For what -do not people of this stamp find fault with? "Is this," said they in -the public walks and coffee-houses, "is this governing a state? To -spend the day in tilting, and the night at table." "Well, if I was -Sultan," cried a little Senator ruined by gaming, parted from his wife, -and whose children had the worst of education, "if I was Sultan, I -would make Congo a flourishing empire. I would be the terror of my -enemies, and the darling of my subjects. Within six months I would -reestablish the Police, the laws, the army and the navy in their full -vigour. I would have a hundred ships of the line. Our heaths should -soon be grub'd up, and our high-ways repair'd. I would abolish the -taxes, or at least reduce them to one half. As for pensions, gentlemen -of sublime wit, by my faith, ye should but just taste them with the -tip of your tongues. Good officers, Pongo Sabiam, good officers, old -soldiers, magistrates like us, who devote our labours and night studies -to dealing out justice to the people; these are the men on whom I would -shed my bounty." - -"Gentlemen," said an old toothless politician, with greasy flat hair, -a coat worn out at elbows, and ragged ruffles, "have ye quite forgot -our great emperor Abdelmalek, of the Dynasty of the Abyssinians, who -reigned two thousand three hundred and eighty five years ago? Have -ye forgot how he caused two astronomers to be impaled, for an error -of three minutes in their prediction of an eclipse; and his first -physician and surgeon to be dissected alive, for having ordered him a -dose of manna at an improper time?" - -"Moreover I ask you," continued another, "what are those idle Bramins -good for, that vermin who suck our blood, and grow fat on it. Would not -their immense overflowing riches better become honest folks like us." - -From another quarter was heard: "Forty years ago, were the new cookery -and the liquors of Lorraine so much as known? Our rulers are plung'd -deep into luxury, which threatens approaching destruction to the -empire, a necessary consequence of the contempt of the Pagoda's and -dissolution of morals. At the time when people eat but coarse meats, -and drank but sherbet at Kanaglou's table; what regard would be paid to -the cut-paper ornaments, to Martin's varnishes, and to Rameau's music? -The opera girls were not more cruel then than at present, and were to -be had much cheaper. The prince, you see, spoils many good things. But -if I was Sultan----" - -"If thou wert Sultan," answered in wrath an old officer, who had -escaped the dangers of the battle of Fontenoy, and had lost an arm -close to his prince in the fight of Laufelt; "thou wouldst commit -greater impertinences than thou now dealst out. Eh, friend, thou can'st -not govern thy tongue, and thou wouldst willingly rule an empire: thou -hast not sense to manage thy family, and thou pretendst to guide a -state. Respect the powers of the earth, and thank the Gods for having -given thee birth in the empire, and in the reign of a prince, whose -prudence instructs his ministers, and whose soldiery admire his valor; -who has made himself dreaded by his enemies, and beloved by his people; -and whose only fault is the lenity with which persons of thy stamp are -treated under his government." - - - - -CHAP. XV. - -_The Bramins._ - - -After the learned had spent themselves on the Toys, the Bramins took -possession of them. Religion laid claim to their chit-chat, as a -subject that came within its jurisdiction, and its ministers pretended -that the hand of Brama manifested itself in that work. - -There was held a general assembly of Pontiffs, and a resolution was -taken to employ the best pens to prove in form, that the thing was -supernatural, and that, till their works could be published, it should -be defended by way of theses in the schools, in private conversations, -in the direction of consciences, and in public harangues. - -Now, altho' they unanimously agreed that the thing was supernatural; -yet as the people of Congo admitted two principles, and professed a -sort of Manicheism, they were divided in opinion, to which of these two -principles the chit-chat of the Toys ought to be attributed. - -Those who had seldom or never been out of their cells, and had turned -over nothing but their books, ascribed the prodigy to Brama. "There is -none but he," said they, "that can interrupt the course of nature; and -time will shew, that in all this he has most profound views." - -Those on the contrary, who frequented the toilets, and were oftner -surprized at bed-sides than in their closets, fearing lest some -indiscreet Toy or other might unveil their hypocrisy, laid their -prattle to the charge of Cadabra, a mischief-making deity, and a sworn -enemy to Brama and his servants. This latter system was exposed to -terrible objections, and had not so direct a tendency towards the -reformation of morals. Nay, its defenders did not impose on themselves -about it. But the business was, to screen themselves: and in order to -compass that, religion had not a single minister, who would not have -sacrificed the Pagodas and their Altars a hundred times over. - -Mangogul and Mirzoza assisted regularly at the religious service of -Brama, and the whole empire was informed thereof by the news-papers. -On a certain day appointed for celebrating one of the principal -solemnities in the great Mosq, they were present. The Bramin, whose -turn it was to explain the law, mounted the rostrum, pour'd forth a -volley of affected phrases and fulsome compliments on the Sultan and -his favorite; and made an eloquent peroration on the manner of sitting -orthodoxly in company. He had already demonstrated the necessity -thereof by numberless authorities, when being instantaneously seized -with a fit of sacred enthusiasm, he spoke this declamation, which had -the greater effect, as it came in quite unexpected. - -"What do I hear in all assemblies? a confused murmur, an unheard noise -strikes my ears. All things are turn'd topsy-turvy, and the faculty -of speech, which the goodness of Brama had hitherto appropriated -to the tongue, is now by an effect of his vengeance transported to -other organs. And what organs? You know, gentlemen. O ungrateful -people, was there a necessity for a new prodigy, to rouze ye from -your lethargy; and had not your crimes witnesses enough, but their -principal instruments must raise their voice? Doubtless their measure -is filled up; since the wrath of heaven has sought new chastisements. -In vain did you envelop yourself in darkness, in vain did you choose -mute accomplices: do you not hear them at present? They have given -depositions against ye from every quarter, and revealed your baseness -to the universe. O thou who governest by thy wisdom! O Brama! just are -thy judgments. Thy law condemns theft, perjury, lying and adultery: -it proscribes the blackness of calumny, the intrigues of ambition, -the fury of hatred, and the artifices of insincerity. Thy faithful -ministers have not ceased declaring these truths to thy children, and -threatening them with the chastisements, which thou in thy just anger -reservedst for prevaricators: but in vain; the fools have delivered -themselves up to the tide of their passions, they followed the torrent, -they have despised our admonitions, they have laughed at our threats, -they have regarded our anathema's as empty noise; their vices are -accumulated, strengthen'd, multiplied; the voice of their impiety has -ascended even to thy throne, and we have not been able to prevent the -tremendous scourge, with which thou hast smote them. After having long -implored thy mercy, let us now extoll thy justice. Overwhelmed by thy -strokes, doubtless they will return to thee, and acknowledge the hand -which is laid heavy on them. But O prodigy of hardheartedness! O excess -of blindness! They have imputed the effect of thy power to the blind -mechanism of nature. They have said in their hearts, Brama is not. All -the properties of matter are not known to us, and the new proof of its -existence is but a proof of the ignorance and credulity of those, who -object it to us. On this foundation they have raised systems, invented -hypotheses, tried experiments: but from the highth of his eternal -habitation, Brama has laugh'd at their vain projects. He has confounded -audacious knowledge, and the Toys have broke, as glass, the impotent -obstacles opposed to their loquacity. Wherefore let those vainglorious -worms confess the weakness of their reason, and the vanity of their -efforts. Let them cease to deny the existence of Brama, or to prescribe -limits to his power. Brama is, he is almighty, and he does not shew -himself to us more visibly in his dreadful scourges, than in his -ineffable favours. - -"But who has drawn down these scourges on this wretched country? Is it -not thy injustice, greedy incredulous man? Thy gallantries and silly -amours, worldly immodest woman! Thy excesses and shameful debaucheries, -infamous man of pleasure! Thy hardheartedness for our monasteries, -miser! Thy injustice, corrupt magistrate! Thy usuries, insatiable -money-dealer! Thy effeminacy and irreligion, impious and sycophant -courtier. - -"And you, on whom this scourge is particularly fallen, women and -maidens plunged into licentiousness; tho' we, renouncing the duties -of our calling, should keep profound silence with regard to your -irregularities, you carry about you a more importunate voice than ours: -it accompanies you, and will every where rebuke you for your impure -desires, your equivocal connections, your criminal conversations, such -excessive care to please, so many artifices to engage, so much address -to fix, and the impetuosity of your transports, and the fury of your -jealousy. Why then do you delay to shake off the yoke of Cadabra, and -return under the mild laws of Brama? But let us return to our subject. -Well then I was saying that worldlings sit down heretically, and that -for nine reasons; the first, &c." - -This discourse made very different impressions. Mangogul and the -Sultana, who were the only persons that knew the secret of the ring, -were convinced that the Bramin had as happily hit off the tattle -of Toys by the assistance of religion, as Orcotomus by the light -of reason. The court ladies and petits-maitres declared the sermon -seditious, and the preacher a visionary. The rest of the audience -esteem'd him a prophet, shed tears, fell to prayers, and even -flagellations, and did not change their courses of life. - -The noise of this sermon spread to the very coffee-houses. A -wit pronounced in a decisive tone, that the Bramin had but very -superficially handled the subject, and that his discourse was but a -cold insipid declamation: but in the opinion of the devout women and -the enlightened, it was the most solid piece of eloquence that had been -delivered in the temples these hundred years. And in mine, both the -wit and the devout women were in the right. - - - - -CHAP. XVI. - -_The Muzzles._ - - -While the Bramins were making Brama speak, airing their Pagoda's by -processions, and exhorting the people to repentance; others were -thinking how to reap benefit by the prattle of Toys. - -Great cities swarm with persons, whom misery renders industrious.--They -neither rob nor pick pockets: but they are to pick-pockets, what -pick-pockets are to gamblers. They know every thing, they do every -thing. They go up and down, they insinuate themselves. They are found -at court, in the city, at Westminster hall, at church, at the play, at -ladies toilets, in coffee-houses, at balls, opera's and in academies. -They are any thing that you would have them be. Do you sollicit a -pension, they have the minister's ear. Have you a law-suit, they will -sollicite for you. Do you love gaming, they will make a party with you; -good chear, they keep a good kitchen; women, they will introduce you -to Amina or Acaris. From which of the two would you please to purchase -the distemper? Take your choice, they will undertake your cure. Their -chief occupation is to find the ridicules of private persons, and to -make advantage of the follies of the public. From them it is, that -papers are distributed in the streets, at the gates of temples, at the -play-house doors, and other public places, by which you are advertised -gratis, that such an one living at the Louvre, St. John's, the temple, -or the abby, at such a sign, dupes mankind at home from nine in the -morning to noon, and abroad the rest of the day. - -Scarce had the Toys began to speak, when one of these sharpers -fill'd the houses of Banza with a printed bill of this form and -tenor.----Advertisement to the ladies. And underneath in small -Italic, by permission of my lord the great Seneschal, and with the -approbation of the gentlemen of the royal academy of sciences. And -lower down: The Sieur Eolipila of the royal academy of Banza, Member -of the royal society of Monoémugi, of the imperial academy of Biafara, -of the academy of the curious of Loango, of the society of Camur in -Monomotapa, of the institute of Ereeco, and of the royal academies -of Beleguanza and Angola; who has for many years given courses of -baubles, with the applause of the court, the town, and the province; -has, in favour of the fair sex, invented muzzles or portable gags, -which deprive Toys of the use of speech, without obstructing their -natural functions. They are neat and convenient. He has some of all -sizes, of all prices, and for all ages: and he has had the honour to -serve persons of the highest distinction with them. - -There is nothing like being a member of a body of men. Be a work ever -so ridiculous, it is puff'd into success. Thus it was, that Eolipila's -invention gain'd ground. People flock'd to his house. The gay ladies -went thither in their own equipages, prudent women in hackney-coaches; -the devouts sent their confessors or footmen, and nuns their -door-keepers. Every body must have a muzzle, so that not one from the -dutchess down to the cobler's Joan, but had one either for the fashion -or for reasons. - -The Bramins, who had declared the prattle of Toys to be a divine -punishment, and flatter'd themselves with a reformation of manners and -other advantages from it, could not without horror see a machine, which -eluded the vengeance of heaven and their hopes. Scarcely had they come -down from their pulpits, but they mount again, thunder, roar, make the -oracles to speak, and pronounce that a muzzle is an infernal machine, -and that there is no salvation for those who shall use them. "Carnal -women, quit your muzzles; submit," cried they, "to the will of Brama. -Permit the voice of your Toys to awaken that of your consciences, and -blush not to acknowledge crimes, which you have not been ashamed to -commit." - -But their exclamations were of little avail: the same fate attended -muzzles, that had formerly attended the gowns without sleeves. The -preachers were left to catch cold in the temples. All the women took -gags, and quitted them not, either till they found them useless, or -were tired of them. - - - - -CHAP. XVII. - -_The two Devouts._ - - -For some days past the Sultan left the Toys at rest. Important affairs, -on which he was busy, suspended the effects of his ring. In this -interval it was, that two women of Banza made diversion for the whole -town. - -They were professed devouts. They had managed their intrigues with -all possible discretion, and were in full enjoyment of a reputation, -which even the malice of those of their own class paid respect to. In -the mosques nothing was talk'd of but their virtue. Mothers proposed -them as patterns to their daughters, and husbands to their wives. -The principal maxim of both was, that scandal is the greatest of all -sins. This conformity of sentiments, but above all, the difficulty of -edifying a clear-sighted and crafty neighbour at an easy expence, had -got the better of the difference of their tempers, and they were very -good friends. - -Zelida received Sophia's Bramin: and it was at Sophia's house that -Zelida confer'd with her director; and by a little self-examination, -the one could hardly be ignorant of what concerned the other's Toy: -but the whimsical indiscretion of these Toys kept them both in cruel -apprehensions. They held themselves as on the point of being unmask'd, -and of losing that reputation of virtue, which had cost them fifteen -years dissimulation and management, and which now embarassed them very -much. - -At some moments they would even forfeit their lives, especially Zelida, -to be as much blasted as the greatest part of their acquaintance. -"What will the world say? What will my husband do?----What! that woman -so reserved, so modest, so virtuous, that Zelida, like others, is -but----Alas! this thought distracts me!----Yes, I wish I never had any -reputation," cried Zelida in a passion. - -She was then with her female friend, who was making the same -reflections, but without such violent commotion. Zelida's last words -made her smile. "Laugh, madam, without constraint. Burst out," said -Zelida, touched to the quick. "To be sure you have good cause." "I -am as sensible of the impending danger, as you can be," answered -Sophia, with an air of indifference; "but how to shun it? For you will -agree with me, that there is no likelyhood that your wish will be -accomplish'd." - -"Contrive an expedient then," replied Zelida: "Oh!" said Sophia, "I am -tired of rummaging my brain, I can find none.----To bury one's self in -a country seat, is one way; but to abandon the pleasures of Banza, and -renounce life, is what I will never do. I perceive that my Toy will -never approve it." "What is to be done then?" "What! to leave all to -providence, and laugh, as I do, at what the world will say. I have -tried all shifts to reconcile reputation with pleasures: but since it -is decreed that we must renounce reputation, let us at least preserve -pleasures. We were uniques: but now, my dear, we shall be like a -hundred thousand others; do you look on this as a hard fate?" - -"Yes, without doubt," replied Zelida; "to me it seems hard to be like -those, for whom I had put on a sovereign contempt. In order to avoid -this mortification, methinks I would fly to the world's end." - -"Set out, my dear," continued Sophia; "for my part, I stay--But _à -propos_, I advise you to furnish yourself with some secret, to prevent -your Toy from blabbing on the road." - -"Indeed," replied Zelida, "pleasantry here has a very ill grace, and -your intrepidity----" - -"You are mistaken, Zelida, there is not a grain of intrepidity in my -proceeding. To let things go their own way, when we cannot stop them, -is resignation. I see that I am to be dishonoured: well then, dishonour -for dishonour, I shall spare myself as much of the uneasiness as I can." - -"Dishonour'd!" replied Zelida, bursting into tears. "Dishonour'd! What -a shock! I cannot bear it.--Oh! accursed Bonza, 'tis thou that hast -ruin'd me. I loved my husband, I was born virtuous; I should have loved -him still, if thou hadst not made a wicked use of thy ministry and my -confidence. Dishonour'd, dear Sophia!----" - -She had not power to make an end. Sobs intercepted her words, and she -fell on the carpet, quite in despair. As soon as Zelida recovered her -speech, she cried out in a lamentable tone: "Alas! my dear Sophia, I -shall die----I must die. No, I shall never survive my reputation." - -"But Zelida, my dear Zelida, do not be in a hurry to die: perhaps," -said Sophia----"No perhaps shall stop me, I must dye."----"But perhaps -one might"----"One might do nothing, I tell you"----"But speak, my -dear, what might one do?"----"Perhaps one might hinder a Toy from -talking." "Ah! Sophia, you endeavour to comfort me by false hopes, -you deceive me." "No, no, I do not deceive you; only hear me, instead -of distracting yourself like a mad creature. I have heard talk of -Frenicol, Eolipila, gags and muzzles." "Pray, what connexion is there -between Frenicol, Eolipila, muzzles, and the danger which threatens us? -What business has my Toyman here, and what is a muzzle?" - -"It is this, my dear. A muzzle is a machine invented by Frenicol, -approved by the academy, and improved by Eolipila, who claims the -honour of the invention." "But pray, this machine invented by -Frenicol, approved by the academy, and improved by that silly fellow -Eolipila."----"Oh! you are of a vivacity that surpasses imagination. -Well then, this machine being applied to a Toy, renders it discreet in -spite of its teeth."----"Can this be true, my dear?" "It is so said." -"We must know it," replied Zelida, "and immediately too." - -She rang, one of her women appeared, and she sent for Frenicol. "Why -not for Eolipila?" said Sophia. "Frenicol is less taken notice of," -answered Zelida. - -The Toyman came away with the messenger. "Ah! Frenicol, are you there," -said Zelida, "you are welcome. Make haste, my friend, to extricate two -women out of cruel anxiety."--"What is the business, ladies? Would you -please to have some rare Toys?"--"No, we have two already, and we would -willingly"--"Part with them, I suppose. Pray, ladies, let me see them, -I will take them, or we will make an exchange."--"You are mistaken, -Mr. Frenicol, we have nothing to truck."--"Well, I understand you, -you have some ear-rings, which you would desire to lose, so as that -your husbands may find them in my shop."----"Not that neither; pray, -Sophia, inform him of the matter." "Frenicol," continued Sophia, "we -want two----What, don't you understand?" "No, madam: how would you -have me understand, when you say nothing?"----"'Tis," said Sophia, -"because when a woman is modest, it gives her pain to speak plain on -certain things." "But yet," replied Frenicol, "she must speak plain. I -am a Toyman, not a Conjuror."----"You must guess however."----"Faith, -ladies, the more I look on ye, the less I comprehend ye. When a lady -is young, rich, and pretty as you are, she is not reduced to artifice: -moreover, I declare sincerely, that I sell them no longer. I have left -the dealing in those baubles to young beginners in the trade." - -Our devouts found the Toyman's mistake so ridiculous, that they both -burst out into a violent fit of laughter, which disconcerted him. -"Permit me, ladies, to make my bow, and withdraw. You might well have -spared yourselves the trouble of sending for me three miles off, to -divert yourselves at my cost." "Stop, stop, friend," said Zelida, still -laughing on. "That was not our intention. But by your misapprehending -us, such ridiculous notions came into your head."----"'Tis in your -power, ladies, to put juster into it. What is the business?" "Oh! Mr. -Frenicol, let me laugh at ease, before I answer you." - -Zelida laugh'd till she panted for breath. The Toyman thought within -himself that she had the vapors, or was out of her senses, and had -patience. At length Zelida ceased.----"Well," said she, "the business -relates to our Toys, our own Toys, do you understand me, Mr. Frenicol? -To be sure you cannot be ignorant, that for some time past several Toys -have prattled like magpyes: now we would be very glad that ours would -not follow this bad example." "Ah! now I take it, that is to say," -replied Frenicol, "that you want a muzzle each."----"Very right, you -have hit it off truly. I have been told that Mr. Frenicol was no fool." -"Madam, your goodness is very great. As to what you require, I have of -all sorts, I go this moment to bring you some." - -Frenicol went accordingly: in the mean while Zelida embraced her -friend, and thank'd her for her expedient: and I, says the African -author, went to take a nap, waiting his return. - - - - -CHAP. XVIII. - -_The Toyman's return._ - - -The Toyman returned, and presented the ladies with two muzzles of the -best sort.----"Ah! mercy!" cried Zelida. "What enormous muzzles are -these! And who are the unhappy women, whom these will fit? This is an -ell long. Indeed, friend, you must certainly have taken measure by the -Sultan's mare."----"Yes," said Sophia indolently, after having measured -them with her fingers, "you are in the right; and there is but the -Sultan's mare and old Rimosa, for whom these can do."----"I protest, -ladies, that they are of the common size; and that Zelmaida, Zyrphila, -Amiana, and a hundred other ladies, have of the same sort." "That -is impossible," said Zelida.----"'Tis actually so however," replied -Frenicol: "but they all said the same thing as ye have: and as they -have, so may you undeceive yourselves by trying them on." "Mr. Frenicol -may say what he will; but he shall never perswade me that this will fit -me," said Zelida, "nor this me," said Sophia. "Let him shew us others, -if he has any." - -Frenicol, who had often experienced that women are not to be converted -on that article, shew'd them muzzles for the age of thirteen. "Well," -cried both at the same time, "these are such as we want." "I wish -they may prove so," whisper'd Frenicol aside. "How do you sell -them?" said Zelida. "But ten ducats a piece, madam."----"Ten ducats, -you forget yourself, Frenicol."----"Madam, that is the price in -conscience."----"You make us pay for the novelty."----"I protest, -ladies, 'tis but two sixpences for a shilling." "I must own they are -neatly made, but ten ducats are a great deal of money."----"I'll abate -nothing."----"We will go to Eolipila's."----"You may, ladies: but there -are workmen and workmen, muzzles and muzzles." Frenicol held firm, and -Zelida came to. She paid for the two muzzles, and the Toyman went back, -fully perswaded that they would be too little for them, and would soon -be returned on his hands for a fourth part of the price he received -for them. He was mistaken. Mangogul not happening to come within reach -of turning his ring on those two women, their Toys were not seized -with the humor of talking louder than ordinary; and happily for them: -for Zelida having tried her muzzle, found it too little by one half. -However, she did not part with it, fancying that it would be pretty -near as inconvenient to change it, as not to make use of it at all. - -These circumstances came to light from one of her women, who told them -in confidence to her lover, who related them in confidence to others, -who spread them all over Banza under the seal of secresy. Nor was -Frenicol silent: the adventure of the devouts became public, and for -sometime afforded employment to the calumniators of Congo. - -Zelida became inconsolable upon it. This woman, more to be pitied than -blamed, conceived an aversion for her Bramin, quitted her husband, and -shut herself up in a convent. As for Sophia, she threw off the mask, -despised censures, patch'd and painted, frequented public places, and -had adventures. - - - - -CHAP. XIX. - -_Seventh trial of the Ring._ - -The stifled Toy. - - -Tho' the female cits of Banza doubted whether Toys of their rank would -be honoured with the gift of speech; yet they all furnish'd themselves -with muzzles. In Banza muzzles became as common, as a general court -mourning in this country. - -Here the African author observes with astonishment, that neither the -lowness of the price, nor the commonness of muzzles put them out of -fashion in the Seraglio. "This once," says he, "utility got the -better of prejudice." So trite a reflection was not worth the pains -of repeating: but to me it seems as if it was the defect of all the -ancient authors of Congo, to fall into repetitions; whether they -thereby hoped to give a greater air of truth and facility to their -productions; or that they were far from having as much fecundity of -invention as their admirers ascribe to them. - -However that be, one day Mangogul, walking in his gardens, attended -by his whole court, took the maggot to level his ring at Zelais. -She was handsome, and suspected of several adventures: yet her Toy -did no more than stammer, and utter'd only some few mangled words, -which had no meaning, and which the Blasters interpreted as they -thought fit.----"Pshuh!" says the Sultan, "here is a Toy that has a -vast impediment of speech. Most certainly there must be somewhat -that impedes its respiration." Wherefore he applied his ring more -intensely. The Toy made a second effort to speak; and in some measure -surmounting the obstacle, that stop'd its mouth, these words were heard -very distinctly. "Alas! alas!--I am--I am--I am stifled. I can no -more.--Alas! alas! I am stifled." - -Immediately Zelais found herself going: she grew pale, her neck -swell'd, and she fell, with her eyes shut and mouth half open, between -the arms of those who stood around her. - -Any where else Zelais would have been speedily relieved. 'Twas only -debarrassing her of her muzzle, and allowing her Toy a freedom of -respiration: but how to lend the helping hand in Mangogul's presence. -"Quick, quick, physicians," cried the Sultan, "Zelais is dying." - -Some pages ran to the palace, and returned, with the doctors gravely -marching after them. Orcotomus was at their head. Some gave their -opinion for bleeding, others for the _kermes mineral_; but the -penetrating Orcotomus ordered Zelais to be carried to a neighbouring -closet, examined her, and cut the braces of her harness. This muzzled -Toy was one of those, which he boasted to have seen in the paroxysm. - -However, the bloating was excessive, and Zelais would have continued to -suffer, had not the Sultan had pity on her condition. He turn'd off his -ring, the fluids return'd to their equilibrium. Zelais came to herself, -and Orcotomus assumed the honour of this miraculous cure. - -Zelais's accident and her physician's indiscretion, made the muzzles -lose much of their credit. Orcotomus, without any regard to Eolipila's -interest, proposed to himself to raise his own fortune on the ruins of -the others; advertised himself as a patentee physician of Toys that -had caught cold: and some of his bills are to be seen at this day in -the by-streets. He began by getting money, and ended by falling into -contempt. The Sultan took pleasure in lowering the presumption of the -empiric. Did Orcotomus boast of silencing a Toy that had never utter'd -a word? Mangogul had the cruelty to make it speak. People went so far -as to remark, that any Toy that was tired of silence, need only have -two or three visits from Orcotomus. In a little time he was rank'd with -Eolipila in the class of quacks; and they will both continue therein, -until it shall please Brama to take them out. - -Shame was preferred to the apoplexy. "The one kills," said the women, -"the other does not." Wherefore they renounced their muzzles; let their -Toys talk on; and no body died thereby. - - - - -CHAP. XX. - -_Eighth trial of the Ring._ - -The Vapors. - - -There was a time, as we have seen, when the women dreaded the prating -of their Toys, were stifled, and died away; but another succeeded, when -they set themselves above this dread, threw away their muzzles, and had -nothing beyond the vapors. - -The favorite, among her attendants, had a very singular young lady. -Her humour was charming, tho' uneven. She changed countenance ten -times a day; but whatever face she put on, was pleasing. Unique in her -melancholy, as well as in her gaiety, there slip'd from her, in her -most extravagant moments, things of exquisite sense; and in her fits of -sadness she uttered very diverting extravagances. - -Mirzoza was so used to Callirhoe (for that is the name of this young -mad girl) that she could hardly be without her. One time that the -Sultan complain'd to the favorite of somewhat restless and cold, which -he remark'd in her; "Prince," said she, embarrassed at his reproach, -"without my three beasts, my nightingale, my lap-dog and Callirhoe, I -am good for nothing; and you see that I have not the last." "And why -is she not here?" said Mangogul. "I can't tell," answered Mirzoza; -"but I remember, that some months ago she told me, that if Mazul made -the campaign, she could not avoid having the vapors; and Mazul set out -yesterday." "I easily excuse her," said the Sultan: "for I look on her -vapors to be well grounded. But upon what account do a hundred other -women take it into their heads to be vapor'd, who have young husbands, -and besides take care to be well provided with lovers?" "Prince," -answered a courtier, "'tis a fashionable disease. It is genteel in a -woman to have the vapors. Without a lover and the vapors, she knows -nothing of the world: and there is not a citizen's wife in Banza, who -does not affect to have them." - -Mangogul smiled, and resolved to visit some of these vaporish women -immediately. He went directly to Salica's house, and found her in bed, -with her neck quite bare, her eyes flaming, and her hair dishevel'd; -and at her bed's side the little stammering hump-back'd physician -Farfadi, telling her stories: while she was stretching out, now one -arm, then another, yawning, sighing, putting her hand to her head, -and exclaiming bitterly: "Alas I can't bear it--throw the windows -open--give me air--I shall faint, I shall dye.----" - -Mangogul took advantage of the moment that her affrighted women were -assisting Farfadi in lightening the bed-cloaths, to turn his ring on -her, and instantly these words were heard: "Oh! how tired I am of this -humor! behold, madam has taken into her noddle to have the vapors. -This farce will last eight days at least, and may I dye, if I know -the cause: for after Farfadi's efforts to ferret out this disease, I -think it is in the wrong to continue."--"Good," said the Sultan turning -off his ring, "I understand. This dame has the vapors in favor of her -physician. Let us try elsewhere." - -He went from Salica's house to that of Arsinoe, which is not far -from it. On entering her chambers he heard loud bursts of laughter, -and advanced, thinking to find her in company: but she was alone; -and Mangogul was not much surprized. "A woman who gives herself -the vapors," says he, "gives them melancholy or merry, as is most -convenient." He turn'd his ring on her, and presently her Toy began -to laugh unmercifully. From these immoderate laughing fits it made a -sudden transition to ridiculous lamentations on the absence of Narces, -whom it advised as a friend to hasten his return; and continued to sob, -weep, groan, sigh, and be comfortless, as if it had buried all its -relations. - -The Sultan, who could hardly refrain from laughing aloud at so -whimsical an affliction, turn'd off his ring and departed; leaving -Arsinoe and her Toy to lament at leisure, and inferring the falsity of -the proverb. - - - - -CHAP. XXI. - -_Ninth Trial of the Ring._ - -Of Things lost and found. - -_To serve as a Supplement to the learned Treatise of Pancirollus, and -to the Memoirs of the Academy of Inscriptions._ - - -Mangogul returning to his palace, pondering on the ridiculous airs -which women give themselves, found himself, whether thro' absence of -mind, or some blunder of his ring, under the portico of the sumptuous -building, which Thelis has decorated with the rich spoils of her -lovers. He embraced the opportunity, to interrogate her Toy. - -Thelis was the wife of the Emir Sambuco, whose ancestors had reign'd -in Guinea. Sambuco had acquired a high reputation in Congo, by five or -six signal victories, which he had gain'd over Erguebzed's enemies. -As he was not a less able negotiator than a great captain, he had -been employ'd in embassies of the greatest consequence, and executed -his high trust with superior talents. On his return from Loango he -saw Thelis, and was smitten. He was then upon the brink of fifty, and -Thelis was not above twenty-five. She was rather agreeable than a -beauty: the women said she was well enough, and the men thought her -charming. Powerful matches sought her; but whether she had already -fix'd her notions, or that there was too great a disproportion of -fortune between her and her admirers, they were all rejected. Sambuco -saw her, laid at her feet immense riches, a great name, laurels, and -titles inferior to none but those of sovereigns, and obtain'd her. - -Thelis was, or appear'd virtuous for six whole weeks after her -marriage. But a Toy born voluptuous, seldom conquers itself; and a -quinquagenarian husband, tho' otherwise ever so great a hero, is a -madman, if he flatters himself with conquering such an enemy. Altho' -Thelis mix'd prudence with her conduct, her first adventures were -not unknown. This was sufficient for supposing afterwards, that she -had others undisclosed: and Mangogul, desirous of full information, -hastened to pass from the porch of her palace into her appartment. - -It was then the middle of summer. The heat was excessive, and Thelis, -after dining, had thrown herself on a couch, in a back closet adorned -with glasses and paintings. She was a-sleep, her hand leaning on a -collection of Persian tales, which had lull'd her to repose. - -Mangogul view'd her some time, allowed that she had charms, and -turn'd his ring on her. "I remember it as perfectly as if it had -been yesterday: nine proofs of love in four hours. Ah! what moments! -Zermounzaid is a divine man! He is not the old frozen Sambuco.--Dear -Zermounzaid, I had been ignorant of true pleasures, real good: you -alone made me sensible of them." - -Mangogul, desirous of learning the particulars of Thelis's commerce -with Zermounzaid, which the Toy kept from him, by dwelling on what -affects a Toy the most feelingly, rubb'd the stone of his ring for -some time against his waistcoat, and levell'd it, quite sparkling -with light, at Thelis. Its influence soon reach'd her Toy, which being -thereby better informed of what was required of it, re-assumed its -discourse in a more historical strain. - -"Sambuco commanded the Monoémugian army, and I followed him to the -field. Zermounzaid served under him in quality of a colonel, and the -general, who honoured him with his confidence, had put us under his -escort. The zealous Zermounzaid did not abandon his post: he thought it -too pleasing, to resign it: and the danger of losing it was the only -one he fear'd during the whole campaign. - -"While we were in winter quarters, I entertained a few new guests; -Cacil, Jekia, Almamoun, Jasub, Selim, Manzora, Nereskim, all military -men, who were commended by Zermounzaid, but were inferior to him. -The credulous Sambuco relied for his wife's virtue on herself, and -on Zermounzaid's care: and being entirely taken up with the immense -business of the war, and the great operations which he was meditating -for the glory of Congo, he never had the least suspicion either of the -treachery of Zermounzaid, or the infidelity of Thelis. - -"The war continued; the armies took the field, and we our litters. As -they went a very slow pace, the main body of the army gain'd ground of -us, and we found ourselves in the rear, which Zermounzaid commanded. -This gallant youth, whom the sight of the greatest dangers had never -made to swerve a foot from the path of glory, could not resist that -of pleasure. He entrusted a subaltern with the care of watching the -motions of the enemy, who harrassed us; and got up into our litter: -but he was hardly there, when we heard a confused noise of arms and -outcries. Zermounzaid, leaving his business half done, attempts to jump -out: but he is level'd with the ground, and we become a prey to the -conqueror. - -"Thus I began by swallowing up the honor and services of an officer, -who from his valour and merit might have expected the highest military -employments, if he had never known his general's wife. Upwards of -three thousand men fell in this action; and therefore of so many good -subjects have we robb'd the nation." - -Let any one, if he can, imagine Mangogul's surprize at this discourse. -He had heard Zermounzaid's funeral oration, and did not know him by -these features. His father Erguebzed had regretted this officer: -the news-papers, after lavishing the highest eulogies on his fine -retreat, had attributed his defeat and death to the enemy's superior -numbers, which, as they said, were found to be six to one. All -Congo had lamented a man, who had done his duty so well. His wife -obtain'd a pension: his regiment was given to his eldest son, and an -ecclesiastical preferment promised to his younger. - -"What horror!" cried Mangogul, but softly. "A husband dishonor'd, the -state betray'd, subjects sacrificed, crimes not only concealed, but -even rewarded as virtues: and all that for a Toy." - -Thelis's Toy, which had stopt to take breath, continued: "Thus am -I abandoned to the enemy's discretion. A regiment of dragoons was -ready to fall upon us. Thelis seem'd quite frighted, and yet wish'd -nothing more ardently: but the charms of the prey sowed discord among -the plunderers. The scimiters were drawn, and thirty or forty men -were massacred in the twinkling of an eye. The noise of this disorder -reach'd the general officer. He ran thither, calmed the furious -soldiers, and sequestrated us under a tent; where we had not time -to know ourselves, when he came and demanded the price of his good -services. 'Woe to the vanquished,' cried Thelis, falling backward on a -bed: and the whole night was spent in feeling her misfortune. - -"The next day we found ourselves on the banks of the Niger. A saick -was waiting for us, and my mistress and I set out, in order to be -presented to the emperor of Benin. In this twenty-four hours voyage the -captain of the vessel offer'd himself to Thelis, and was accepted: and -I found by experience, that the sea service is infinitely brisker than -the land service. - -"We saw the emperor of Benin. He was young, ardent, voluptuous. Thelis -made a conquest of him: but those of her husband affrighted the -monarch. He demanded peace: and the price, at which he purchased it, -was but three provinces and my ransom. - -"Different times, different fatigues. Sambuco came to know, I can't -tell how, the reason of the misfortunes of the preceding campaign; and -during this, he deposited me with a friend of his, a chief of the -Bramins, on the frontiers. The holy man made but a weak defence: he was -ensnared by the wiles of Thelis, and in less than six months devoured -his immense income, three lakes and two forests." - -"Mercy," cried Mangogul, "three lakes and two forests! What an appetite -for a Toy!" - -"'Tis a mere trifle," resumed the Toy. "Peace was made, and Thelis -accompanied her husband in his embassy to Monomotapa. She gamed, and -very fairly lost a hundred thousand sequins in one day, which I won -back again in an hour. A minister, whose master's affairs did not fill -up all his time, fell into my clutches; and in three or four months -I eat him up a fine landed estate, together with his castle well -furnish'd, a park, and equipage, with the little pyed horses. A favor -of four minutes duration, but well spun out, brought us in feasts, -presents and jewels: and the blind or politic Sambuco did not disturb -us. - -"I shall not bring into the accompt," added the Toy, "the marquisats, -counties, titles, coats of arms, &c. which have been eclipsed at my -appearance. Apply to my secretary, who will tell you what is become of -them. I have close-pared the horns of the dominions of Biafara, and -am in possession of an entire province of Beleguanza. Erguebzed made -overtures to me a little before his death." At these words Mangogul -turn'd off his ring, and silenced this gulph: he respected his father's -memory, and would hear nothing that might tarnish the splendor of the -great qualities, which he knew were in him. - -Returning to the seraglio, he entertained the favorite with the -vapored ladies, and with the trial of his ring on Thelis. "You admit -this woman," said he, "to your familiarity: but in all probability -you do not know her as well as I." "I understand you, sir," answered -the Sultana. "Her Toy has perhaps been foolish enough to give you -a narrative of her adventures with the general Micokof, the Emir -Feridour, the senator Marsupha, and the great Bramin Ramanadanutio. -But pray, who is ignorant, that she keeps young Alamir, and that old -Sambuco, who speaks not a word, is as well apprized of it as you." - -"You have not hit the mark," replied Mangogul. "I have compell'd -her Toy to make a full discharge." "Had it swallowed any thing of -yours," said Mirzoza. "No," said the Sultan, "but much belonging to my -subjects, to the grandees of my empire, to the neighbouring potentates; -as estates, provinces, castles, lakes, forests, diamonds, equipages, -with the little pyed horses." "Without reckoning their reputation and -virtue, sir," added Mirzoza. "I cannot tell what benefit you will reap -by your ring; but the more you try it, the more odious my sex becomes -to me: even those, whom I thought I justly held in some esteem, are not -expected. They have thrown me me into such an humor, that I beg your -highness will allow me to indulge it alone for some moments." Mangogul, -who knew that the favorite was an enemy to all constraint, kiss'd her -right ear thrice, and retired. - - - - -CHAP. XXII. - -_A Sketch of Mangogul's moral Philosophy._ - - -Mangogul, impatient to see the favorite again, slept little, arose -earlier than usual, and was in her appartment before sun-rising. She -had already rung the bell: a servant had just opened the curtains, -and her women were preparing to dress her. The Sultan look'd narrowly -around her, and seeing never a dog, he asked her the reason of this -oddity. "I see," answered Mirzoza, "that you think me singular in -this article, but there is nothing in it." "I assure you," replied -the Sultan, "that I see dogs about all the women of my court, and you -will oblige me in informing me why they have them, or why you have -none. Most of them have several, and not one of them but lavishes such -caresses on her own, as she seems not to bestow on her lover without -some difficulty. How come these beasts to deserve the preference? What -use is made of them?" - -Mirzoza was puzzled at these questions: however, she made this answer. -"To be sure, one keeps a dog as a parrot or a canary bird. It may be -ridiculous to set one's heart on these animals; but there is nothing -wonderful in having them: they sometimes amuse, and never injure. If -they are caressed, 'tis because such caresses are of no consequence. -Besides, do you believe, prince, that a lover is satisfied with a kiss, -such as a woman bestows on her pug-dog?" "Doubtless, I believe it," -says the Sultan. "By Jupiter the man must be very nice, who would not -be satisfied." - -One of Mirzoza's women, who had gain'd the good will of the Sultan and -his favorite by sweetness of temper, good parts, and zeal, said: "These -animals are inconvenient and nasty: they dirty one's clothes, spoil the -furniture, tare laces, and do more mischief in a quarter of an hour, -than would be sufficient to throw the most faithful lady's woman into -disgrace: and yet they are kept." - -"Tho', according to madam, they are good for nothing but that," added -the Sultan. - -"Prince," said Mirzoza, "we stick to our fancies, and the keeping of -dogs must be one, like many others, which would be no longer fancies, -if we could give a reason for them. The reign of monkeys is past, -the parrots still support themselves. Dogs fell, and now they rise -again. Squirrels have had their time: and it is with animals, as it has -successively been with Italian, English, geometry, farthingales, and -furbela's." - -"Mirzoza," replied the Sultan, shaking his head, "has not all the -knowledge that may be acquired on this subject; and the Toys----" - -"Is not your highness going to imagine," said the favorite, "that you -will be inform'd by Haria's Toy, why that woman, who saw her son, one -of her daughters, and her husband, die without shedding a tear, wept -the loss of her lap-dog for a whole fortnight." - -"Why not?" replied Mangogul. - -"Truly," says Mirzoza, "if our Toys could explain all our whims, they -would be more knowing than ourselves." - -"Pray, who disputes that with you?" replied the Sultan. "For my part -I believe that the Toy makes a woman do a hundred things, without her -perceiving it: and I have remark'd on more occasions than one, that a -woman, who thought she was following her head, was obeying her Toy. A -great philosopher placed the soul, I mean ours, in the pineal gland. If -I allowed women to have one, I well know where I would place it." - -"I excuse you from informing me," rejoin'd Mirzoza hastily. "But you -will permit me at least," said Mangogul, "to communicate some notions -to you, which my ring has suggested to me concerning women, upon a -supposition that they have a soul. The experiments, which I have made -with my ring, have made me a great moralist. I have neither the wit -of La Bruyere, nor the logic of Port Royal, nor the imagination of -Montaigne, nor the wisdom of Charron: but I have collected facts, to -which perhaps they were strangers." - -"Speak, prince," answered Mirzoza ironically, "I will hear you with -all my ears. Moral essays of a Sultan of your age must be something -curious." - -"The system of Orcotomus is extravagant, with the leave of his fellow -academician Hiragu: yet I find some sense in the answers which he gave -to the objections started against it. If I allowed a soul to women, -I would willingly suppose with him, that Toys have spoken from the -beginning, but softly: and that the effect of the Genius Cucufa's ring -is reduced to raising their voice. Upon this foundation nothing can be -more easy than to define the whole sex. - -"The sober woman, for example, would be she whose Toy is silent, or is -not attended to. - -"The prude, she who pretends not to listen to her Toy. - -"The intriguing woman, she whose Toy desires a great deal, and who -allows it too much. - -"The voluptuous, she who gives ear to her Toy with complaisance. - -"The courtezan, she on whom her Toy is making demands every moment, and -who refuses it nothing. - -"The coquette, she whose Toy is mute, or is not attended to; but who -gives hopes to all the men that come near her, that her Toy will speak -one day or other, and it may happen that she will not lend it a deaf -ear. - -"Well, delight of my soul, what do you think of my definitions?" "I -think," said the favorite, "that your highness has forgot the tender -woman." - -"If I have not mentioned her," answered the Sultan, "'tis because I -don't know what the term means; and that some able men pretend, that -the word tender, abstracting from all connection with the Toy, is void -of sense." - -"How, void of sense," cried Mirzoza. "What! there is no medium then; -and a woman must absolutely be a prude, an intriguer, a coquette, a -voluptuous woman, or a libertin." - -"Delight of my soul," said the Sultan, "I am willing to own the -inaccuracy of my enumeration, and will add the tender woman to the -preceding characters; but on condition that you will furnish me with a -definition of her, which will not coincide with any of mine." - -"Most willingly," said Mirzoza. "I hope to compass it without quitting -your system." - -"Let us see," added Mangogul. - -"Well then," replied the favorite--"a tender woman is she----" - -"Courage, Mirzoza," said Mangogul. - -"Oh! I beg you won't disturb me. The tender woman is she----who has -loved without a word utter'd by her Toy, or----whose Toy has never -spoke, but in favor of the single man whom she loved." - -It would not have been polite in the Sultan to chicane the favorite, -and ask her what she understood by love: wherefore he avoided it. -Mirzoza took his silence for consent, and proceeded, proud of -having extricated herself from a difficulty, which to her appeared -considerable. "Ye men believe, because we do not argue in form, that -we do not reason. Know once for all, that we could as easily discover -the falsity of your paradoxes, as ye that of our reasonings, if we -would give ourselves the trouble. If your highness was less in a hurry -to satisfy your curiosity on the subject of lap-dogs, I would in my -turn give you a scrap of my philosophy. But it shall not be lost: I -will reserve it for one of those days, that you will have more time to -bestow on me." - -Mangogul assured her that he had no better business, than to profit of -her philosophical notions; that the metaphysics of a Sultana of twenty -two, ought not to be less singular than the morals of a Sultan of his -age. - -But Mirzoza apprehending that this was pure complaisance in Mangogul, -begg'd some time to prepare, and thus gave the Sultan a pretext for -flying whither his impatience might call him. - - - - -CHAP. XXIII. - -_Tenth trial of the Ring._ - -The Dogs. - - -Mangogul went immediately to Haria's house; and as he took pleasure -in soliloquy, he said within himself: "This woman never goes to bed -without her four dogs, and either Toys know nothing of those animals, -or her's will give me some account of them; for, thank God, 'tis well -known that she loves her dogs to admiration." At the end of this -monology he found himself in Haria's anti-chamber, and his olfactory -organ already informed him of madam having her usual company in bed -with her. These were a little shag-dog, a spaniel, and two pug-dogs. -The Sultan drew out his snuff-box, took two pinches of Spanish by way -of preservative, and approached Haria. She was asleep, but the pack, -who were upon the watch, hearing some noise, fell to barking, and woke -her. "Peace, my children," said she, but in so mild a tone, that she -could not be suspected of speaking to her daughters, "go to sleep, go -to sleep, and don't disturb my rest nor your own." - -Haria was formerly young and pretty. She had had lovers of her own -rank, but they all disappear'd even sooner than her charms. By way -of comforting herself for this desertion, she gave into a whimsical -sort of pomp, and her footmen were the handsomest fellows in Banza. -She grew older and older, and years threw her into oeconomy: she -restrained herself to four dogs and two Bramins, and became a model of -edification. And surely the most envenom'd satyr could find no room to -carp at this management; and for above ten years Haria was in peaceful -possession of a high reputation of virtue, and of those animals. Nay, -her tenderness for the pug-dogs was so well known, that the Bramins -were no longer suspected of sharing it. - -Haria renewed her intreaty to those beasts, and they had the -complaisance to obey. Then Mangogul applied his ring, and the -superannuated Toy set about relating the last of its adventures. It was -such a vast while since the first were atchieved, that it had almost -lost the very remembrance of them. "Withdraw, Pompey," it said with a -hoarse voice, "you fatigue me. I like Dido better; I find her more -gentle." Pompey, who was absolutely ignorant of the Toy's voice, went -on in his own way: but Haria awaking, continued. "Get away, then, you -little rogue, you hinder me from taking rest. That is well some times: -but too much is too much." Pompey withdrew. Dido took his place, and -Haria fell asleep. - -Mangogul, who had suspended the energy of his ring, turn'd it on, and -the antiquated Toy, uttering a deep, sigh, fell to jabbering, and said: -"Alas! how I am grieved for the death of my large grey-hound; she was -the best little wife, the most caressing creature: she never ceased -giving amusement. She was so sensible, so genteel. Ye are but beasts -in comparison of her. That naughty master of mine killed her.----Poor -Zinzolina, I never think of her, without watering my plants. I -thought it would have been the death of my mistress. She neither eat -nor drank for two days, and narrowly escaped losing her senses. Judge -of her sorrow: her director, her friends, nay her very pug-dogs were -kept from me. Orders were issued to her women to refuse the door -of her appartment to my master, under the penalty of being turn'd -off.----'That monster has robb'd me of my dear Zinzolina,' cried she; -'let him not appear before me, I am resolved never to see him more.'" - -Mangogul, curious of learning the circumstances of Zinzolina's death, -revived the electrical power of his ring by rubbing it on the skirt -of his doublet, pointed it at Haria, and the Toy resumed: "Haria, -Ramadec's widow, coiffed herself with Sindor. This youth was of good -birth, had no other fortune, but a certain merit which pleases the sex, -and was, after dogs, Haria's predominant taste. Sindor's indigence -conquered his repugnance to Haria's years and dogs. Twenty thousand -crowns a year blinded his eyes with regard to the wrinkles of his -mistress, and the inconveniency of the pug-dogs; and he married her. - -"He was in hopes of getting the better of our beasts by his talents, -and complaisant behavior; and to bring them into disgrace from the very -commencement of his reign; but he was deceived. After the expiration of -some months, when he thought he had merited much by his services; he -took into his head to remonstrate to madam, that her dogs were not as -good company in bed for him as for her; that it was ridiculous to have -more than three; and that to admit more than one at a time, was turning -the nuptial bed into a kennel. - -"'I advise you,' said Haria, in a furious tone, 'to attack me with such -speeches. Truly it well becomes a pitiful younger son from Gascony, -whom I have taken from a garret, which was not good enough for my dogs, -to give himself airs of nicety! To be sure, your sheets were perfumed, -my little squire, when you dwelt in furnish'd lodgings. Know this once -for all, that my dogs were long before you in possession of my bed, and -that you may choose either to quit it, or be content to share it with -them.' - -"The declaration was peremptory, and our dogs remain'd masters of -their post. But one night, as we were all asleep, Sindor, in turning -unluckily kick'd Zinzolina. The hound, not used to such treatment, -bit the calf of his leg; and madam was immediately awaked by Sindor's -cries. 'What is the matter with you, Sir, one would think your throat -was cutting: you dream.' 'It is your dogs, madam, that devour me, and -your grey-hound has just torn off a piece of my leg.' 'Is that all?' -says Haria, turning from him. 'You make a vast noise for nothing.' - -"Sindor, piqued at this discourse, jump'd out of bed, swearing that -he would never set his foot in it again, till the pack was banish'd -thence. He employ'd friends, in order to obtain the exile of the dogs: -but they all failed in that important negotiation. Haria's answer to -them was, that Sindor was a knight of the post, whom she had drawn -out of a cock-loft, which he shared with rats and mice; that it ill -became him to be so nice; that he slept the whole night long; that -she loved her dogs; that they amused her; that from her infancy she -had taken a liking to their caresses; and that she was resolved never -to deprive herself of them till death. 'Tell him besides,' continued -she, addressing the mediators, 'that if he does not humbly submit to -my will, he will repent it while he lives; that I will retract the -donation I have made him, and will add it to the sums which I have -bequeathed by my will, for the support of my dear children.' - -"Between you and me," added the Toy, "Sindor must have been a great -fool, to hope that she would do for him, what could not be obtained -by twenty lovers, a director, a confessor, with a legion of Bramins, -who had all lost their Latin on that head. Mean while, as often as -Sindor met our animals, he was seized with such fits of passion, as he -could hardly conquer. One day the unfortunate Zinzolina fell in his -way. He took her by the neck, and threw her out of the window. The poor -creature was kill'd by the fall. Then it was, that a fine noise was -made. Haria, with inflamed countenance, and eyes bathed in tears----" - -The Toy was going to repeat what it had already told; for Toys -willingly fall into repetitions: but Mangogul cut its words short. -Its silence was not of long duration: when the prince thought he had -put this doting Toy out of its road, he restored it the freedom of -speech; and the Tatler, bursting out into a loud laugh, resumed by -way of recollection: "But _à propos_, I forgot to tell you what pass'd -on Haria's wedding-night. I have seen a power of ridiculous things in -my life, but never one that came up to this. After a splendid supper, -the bride and bridegroom were conduced to their appartment. Every body -retired except madam's women who undress her: she is undress'd, put to -bed, and Sindor alone remains with her. Observing that the shag-dog, -the two pugs, and the grey-hound, more alert than himself, were taking -possession of his bride; 'permit me, madam,' he said, 'to remove these -rivals a little.' 'My dear, do what you can,' answered Haria: 'for my -part, I have not the courage to drive them away; these little animals -are so attached to me; and I have been so long without any other -company.' 'Perhaps,' replied Sindor, 'they will have the politeness -this night to surrender the fort to me, which I must take possession -of.' 'Try, sir,' said Haria. - -"At first Sindor tried gentle means, and pray'd Zinzolina to retire -to a corner. But the untractable animal fell to growling: the allarm -spread among the rest of the troop; and the pug-dogs and shag-dog -bark'd as if their mistress's throat was cutting. Sindor, losing all -patience at this noise, tosses away one of the pugs, drives off the -other, and seizes Pompey by the paw. Pompey, the faithful Pompey, -abandoned by his allies, endeavour'd to repair this loss by the -advantages of the post. Fix'd on his mistress's thighs, with eyes -inflamed, hair standing an end, and open mouth, he grin'd, and shew'd -the enemy two rows of very sharp teeth. Sindor made several assaults -on him, and Pompey repell'd him as often, with bitten fingers and torn -ruffles. The action lasted above a quarter of an hour with an obstinacy -which gave diversion to none but Haria; when Sindor had recourse to a -stratagem against an enemy, whom he despaired conquering by force. He -provoked Pompey with the right hand. Pompey watching this motion, did -not observe that of the left, and was seized by the neck. He made most -vigorous efforts to disengage himself, but in vain. He was obliged -to quit the field of battle, and surrender up Haria. Sindor took -possession of her, but not without effusion of blood: in all likelihood -Haria had resolved that her wedding-night should be a bloody one: her -animals made a good defence, and disappointed not her expectations." - -"There," says Mangogul, "is a Toy, that could write a Gazette better -than my secretary." And now well knowing what notions to form of lap -dogs, he return'd to the favorite. - -"Prepare yourself," said he, as soon as he saw her, "to hear the most -extravagant things in the world. 'Tis much worse than the baboons of -Palabria. Could you believe, that Haria's four dogs were the rivals, -and the preferred rivals of her husband; and that the death of a -greyhound has raised a quarrel between that couple, never to be made -up." - -"What do you say," replied the favorite, "of rivals and dogs. I am -quite in the dark. I know that Haria loves her dogs excessively; but -I know at the same time that Sindor is a hot-temper'd man, who perhaps -did not use all that complaisance, which women require, to whom a man -owes his fortune. But yet, whatever has been his conduct, I cannot -conceive that it has drawn rivals on him. Haria is so venerable, that -I could wish your highness would vouchsafe to explain yourself more -intelligibly." - -"Listen," says Mangogul, "and agree that women have excessively -whimsical tastes, to say nothing worse;" then he related Haria's -history to her word for word, as the Toy had told it. Mirzoza could -not refrain from laughter at the first night's battle: but presently -resuming a serious air: "I can't tell," said she to Mangogul, "what -indignation seizes me. I shall have an aversion for these animals and -all those who keep any, and I shall declare to my women that I will -turn off the first, who shall be even suspected of having a lap-dog." - -"Pray," replied the Sultan, "why will you extend your hatred so far? -You women are always upon extremes. These animals are good for hunting, -are necessary in the country, and have many other uses, without -reckoning that which Haria makes of them." - -"In truth," said Mirzoza, "I begin to believe that your highness will -find it a difficult task to light on a virtuous woman." - -"I told you so," answered Mangogul; "but let us not be over hasty: -you may one time or other upbraid me with being indebted to your want -of patience for a declaration, which I pretend to owe entirely to the -trials of my ring. I have some in my mind, which will astonish you. -All secrets are not yet unveiled; and I expect to draw more important -discoveries from those Toys, which remain to be consulted." - -Mirzoza was in perpetual apprehensions for her own. Mangogul's -discourse threw her into such uneasiness, as she was not able to -conceal from him: but the Sultan, who had bound himself by an oath, -and in his heart had a regard for religion, used his best endeavours -to calm her mind, gave her some very tender kisses, and went to his -council, whither affairs of moment called him. - - - - -CHAP. XXIV. - -_Eleventh trial of the Ring._ - -The Pensions. - - -Congo had been disturbed by bloody wars in the reigns of Kanaglou and -Erguebzed; and those two monarchs had immortalized themselves by the -conquests they had made over their neighbours. The emperors of Abex and -Angola look'd on the youth of Mangogul and the beginning of his reign, -as favourable conjunctures to recover the provinces that had been taken -from them. Wherefore they declared war against Congo, and attacked it -on every side. Mangogul had the best council in all Africa: and old -Sambuco and the Emir Mirzala, who were train'd up in the former wars, -were placed at the head of the troops, gain'd victories on victories, -and formed generals capable of succeeding them; an advantage of greater -importance than even their successes. - -Thanks to the activity of the council, and the good conduct of the -generals, the enemy, who thought themselves sure of overcoming the -empire, did not advance as far as the frontiers, made a poor defence of -their own, and saw their fortified towns and provinces ravaged. But, -such constant and glorious successes notwithstanding, Congo grew weaker -by aggrandizing itself: the frequent raising of troops unpeopled the -towns and country: and the treasury was exhausted. - -The sieges and battles had cost a vast number of lives: the grand -Visir, very lavish of the blood of the soldiery, was accused of -having hazarded battles that tended to nothing. Every family was in -mourning: not one, but wept a father, a brother, or a friend. The -number of officers slain was prodigious; and could be compared to -naught but their wives, who sollicited pensions. The closets of the -ministers were beset with them. They pestered the Sultan himself with -petitions, in which the merit and services of the deceased, the grief -of their widows, the dismal condition of their children, and other -moving motives were not forgotten. Nothing seemed more equitable than -their requests: but on what fund to ground pensions which amounted to -millions? - -The ministers, after having exhausted speeches, and sometimes -peevishness and rough language, were obliged to deliberate on the means -of bringing this affair to a final issue: but they had an excellent -reason for concluding nothing: there was not a penny left. - -Mangogul, tired with the false reasonings of his ministers and the -lamentations of the widows, hit upon the expedient, which his ministry -had been so long hunting after. "Gentlemen," said he to his council, "I -am of opinion that, before any pensions are granted, it would be proper -to examine if they are lawfully due." "This examination," answered the -great Seneschal, "will be immense, and of prodigious discussion. Yet -how to resist the clamors and persecution of these women, by whom you, -sir, are particularly teazed?" "It will not be as difficult a talk as -you imagine, Mr. Seneschal," replied the Sultan; "and I promise you -that by to morrow noon the whole affair shall be terminated, by the -laws of the strictest equity. Do you only bring them to my audience -chamber by nine in the morning." - -The council broke up, the Seneschal went into his office, pondered -profoundly, and drew up the following proclamation; which in three -hours time was printed, published by sound of trumpet, and fixed up at -all the most public places of Banza. - - By the Sultan's most excellent majesty, and my lord the grand - Seneschal, - - We Gander-beak, grand Seneschal of Congo, visir of the first bench, - train-bearer to the great Manimonbanda, chief and super-intendant of - the sweepers of the divan, give notice, that to-morrow morning at nine - of the clock, the magnanimous Sultan will give audience to the widows - of the officers slain in his service, in order to decree, on sight of - their pretensions, what to him shall seem meet. Given at our office - the twelfth of the moon of Regeb, in the year 147200000009. - -All the distressed women of Congo, and a great number of them there -was, did not fail to read the proclamation, or to send their footmen to -read it; and less still to be at the appointed hour, in the lobby of -the audience chamber. "In order to avoid a crowd, let no more enter," -said the Sultan, "than six of these ladies at once. When we have heard -them, let them pass thro' the back door, which leads to the outward -courts. You, gentlemen, be attentive, and pronounce on their demands." - -This said, he made a signal to the first gentleman usher of the -audiences; and the six, who happen'd to be next the door, were -introduced. They entered in long mourning robes, and made low -reverences to his highness. Mangogul addressed the youngest and -handsomest of them, whose name was Ifec. "Madam," said he, "how long -is it since you have lost your husband?" "Three months," answered Ifec -weeping. "He was lieutenant general in your highness's service. He was -kill'd in the last battle, and six children are the only legacy he left -me"--"He left you?" interrupted a voice, which, tho' issuing from Ifec, -was not exactly in the same tone with her's. "Madam knows better than -she says. They were all begun and finished by a young Bramin, who daily -came to comfort her, while my master was in the field." - -'Tis easy to guess, whence proceeded the indiscreet voice, which -pronounced this answer. Poor Ifec, being put out of countenance, -grew pale, trembled, fainted. "Madam is subject to the vapors," said -Mangogul with an air of tranquillity: "let her be carried into an -appartment of the Seraglio, and be taken care of." Then immediately -addressing Phenice: "Madam," said he, "was not your husband a Pacha?" -"Yes, sir," answered Phenice in a trembling voice. "And how have you -lost him?" "Sir, he died in his bed, quite exhausted with the fatigues -of the last campaign"--"With the fatigues of the last campaign," -replied Phenice's Toy. "Go, madam, your husband brought a firm and -vigorous state of health from the camp; and he would still enjoy it, -had not two or three scoundrel players,--you understand me, take care -of yourself." "Write," says the Sultan, "that Phenice demands a -pension, for the good services, which she has rendered to the state and -her husband." - -A third was interrogated on her husband's age and name, who was said -to have died in the army of the small-pox. "Of the small pox," said -the Toy, "a fine story indeed: say, madam, of two good strokes of a -scymeter which he received from the Sangiac Cavaglio, because he took -it ill, that his eldest son was said to be as like the Sangiac, as one -egg is to another: and madam knows as well as I," added the Toy, "that -a likeness was never better grounded." - -The fourth was going to speak without being interrogated by Mangogul, -when her Toy was heard to cry out from the lower regions, that these -ten years part, which the war had lasted, she had made pretty good use -of her time; that two pages and a huge scoundrel of a footman had -supplied her husband's place; and that without doubt she designed the -pension, which she was solliciting, for keeping an actor of the comic -opera. - -A fifth stept forward with intrepidity, and with an air of confidence -demanded the reward of her late husband's services, who was an aga of -the Janissaries, and lost his life under the walls of Matatras. The -Sultan turn'd his ring on her, but to no purpose. Her Toy was mute. "I -must own," says the African author, who had seen her, "that she was -so ugly, that the by-standers would be astonished, if her Toy had any -thing to say." - -Mangogul was got to the sixth, and here are the express words of -her Toy. "Truly, it well becomes madam," meaning her, whose Toy was -obstinately silent, "to sollicite pensions, while she lives upon the -poule, keeps a breland table which brings her in three thousand sequins -a year, makes private suppers at the expence of the gamesters, and -received six hundred sequins from Osman, to draw me to one of these -suppers, where the treacherous Osman----" - -"Due regard shall be paid to your petitions, ladies," said the Sultan: -"for the present ye may withdraw." Then directing his words to his -counsellors, he ask'd them, if it did not seem ridiculous to them to -grant pensions to a herd of little bastards of Bramins and others, and -to women whose employment it was to dishonor brave men, who had enter'd -into his service in quest of glory, at the expence of their lives. - -The Seneschal stood up, answered, declaimed, resumed, and gave his -opinion obscurely as usual. While he was yet speaking, Ifec recovered -from her fit, quite enraged at her adventure; and, as she expected no -pension for herself, and would run distracted, if any other obtain'd -one, which would have happened in all likelihood, she went directly -into the antichamber, and whispered to two or three of her female -friends, that they were summoned thither purely to hear their Toys -chatter; that she herself heard one deliver horrid things in the -audience chamber; that she would not name it for the world; but that -they must be fools, to expose themselves to the same danger. - -This advice passed from hand to hand, and dispersed the crowd of -widows. When the gentleman usher opened the door to let in a second -parcel, not one was there. "Well, Seneschal, will you believe me -another time?" said Mangogul informed of the desertion, to the good -man, clapping him on the shoulder. "I promised to rid you of these -female weepers, and I have done it. Yet they were very assiduous in -making court to you, notwithstanding your fourscore and fifteen years -of age. But whatever pretensions you may possibly have: for I am not -ignorant of the facility you had to form pretensions on these ladies, -I fancy you are obliged to me for their retreat. They gave you more -_embarras_ than pleasure." - -The African author informs us, that the remembrance of this trial is -kept up in Congo; and for that reason it is, that the government is so -sparing of granting pensions: but this was not the only good effect of -Cucufa's ring, as we shall see in the following chapter. - - - - -CHAP. XXV. - -_Twelfth Trial of the Ring._ - -A Law Case. - - -Rapes were severely punished in Congo: and there happened a most -notorious one in Mangogul's reign. This prince, at his accession to the -crown, had sworn, like all his predecessors, never to grant a pardon -for that crime: but be laws ever so severe, they seldom curb those, -whom a considerable advantage urges to infringe them. The criminal was -condemned to lose that part of him, by which he had sinned; a cruel -operation, of which he generally died; as the person who performed it, -used less precaution than B----ll. - -Kerfael, a young man of a good family, had now languished six months -in a dungeon, waiting for the day of execution. Fatme, a young -pretty woman, was his Lucretia and accuser. Every body knew, that -they had been very well together: Fatme's indulgent husband took no -exceptions against it: therefore it would be ungenteel in the public to -intermeddle in their affairs. - -After an undisturbed commerce of two years, whether thro' inconstancy -or disgust, Kerfael took to a dancer at the opera of Banza, and grew -cold towards Fatme, yet without coming to an open rupture. He resolved -to make a decent retreat; which obliged him to continue his visits in -the house. Fatme enraged for being thus forsaken, meditated revenge, -and made use of this remnant of his assiduities to destroy her -unfaithful lover. - -One day, that the convenient husband had left them _tête à tête_, and -that Kerfael, having ungirt his scymeter, was endeavouring to allay -Fatme's suspicions by protestations, which cost nothing to lovers, -but never surprize the credulity of a jealous woman; she assumed -an affrighted air, and having tore her dress at five or six pulls, -shriek'd out horridly, and call'd to her husband and domestics for -help; who ran immediately, and became witnesses to the injury, which -Fatme said she received from Kerfael; and shewing the scymeter, added: -"This the infamous villain lifted at my head ten times to make me -submit to his will." - -The young man, struck dumb at the blackness of the accusation, had not -power either to answer or make his escape. He was seiz'd, dragg'd -to prison, and deliver'd up to justice and the prosecution of the -Cadilesker. - -The laws ordained that Fatme should be visited. Accordingly she was; -and the report of the matrons proved very unfavourable to the accused. -They had an original standard, by which they could determine the -condition of a violated woman; and every circumstance concurred against -Kerfael. The judges examined him, Fatme was confronted with him, and -the evidence was heard. In vain did he plead innocence, deny the fact, -and demonstrate by the commerce which he held with his accuser above -two years, that she was not a woman to be ravished. The circumstance of -the scymeter, the _tête à tête_ solitude, Kerfael's confusion at the -sight of the husband and domestics; taken all together formed, in the -opinion of the judges, violent presumptions. Fatme on her side, far -from owning that she had granted him favors, would not even allow that -she gave him the least glimmering of hopes; and maintain'd that her -obstinate adherence to her duty, from which she had never flinch'd, was -without doubt what urged Kerfael to acquire by force, what he despair'd -obtaining by craft. The verbal process drawn up by the commissaries -was another terrible piece. Nothing more was requisite, than to run -it over, and compare it with the articles of the Criminal Code, to -read unhappy Kerfael's condemnation therein. He lost all expectations -of life either by his defence, or the credit of his family; the -magistrates had fixed the definitive sentence to the thirteenth of -the month of Rebeg: and this was even published by sound of trumpet, -according to custom. - -This affair became the topic of conversations, and people were divided -upon it for a good while. Some old hags, who had always been very safe -from any apprehensions of a rape, ran about crying: "That Kerfael's -attack was enormous; that unless a severe example were made of him, -innocence would be no longer in security; and that an honest woman -would be exposed to insults, even at the horns of the Altar." Then -they cited instances of little impertinent puppies having attack'd the -virtue of several respectable ladies: and the circumstances left no -room to doubt, but that those respectable ladies mentioned by them were -themselves: and all these speeches were made to Bramins less innocent -than Kerfael, and by devotes as chaste as Fatme, by way of edifying -conversations. - -The _Petits-Maitres_ on the contrary, and even some -_Petites-Maitresses_, asserted that a rape was a chimæra, that a -woman never surrendered but by capitulation; and that, if a fort was -defended, tho' ever so little, it was absolutely impossible to take -it by storm. Examples were alledged in support of this reasoning: the -women knew some; the _Petits-Maitres_ invented others; and there was -no end of quoting instances of women, who had not been ravished. "Poor -Kerfael," said they, "what the devil had he in his head, to take to -little Bimbreloqua," which was the dancer's name, "why did he not stick -to Fatme? They were extremely well together, and the husband left them -at full liberty: what a blessing----Those witches the matrons put on -their spectacles to no purpose, for they saw nothing. And indeed, -who is the person that can see clear in that place? And besides, the -senators are going to deprive him of his joy, for having burst an open -door. The poor lad will die of it, no doubt. After that, pray consider, -what will not dissatisfied women be authorized to do."----"If this -execution takes place," interrupted another, "I will make myself a free -mason." - -Mirzoza, naturally compassionate, remonstrated to Mangogul, who was -joking her on Kerfael's case, that if the laws spoke against Kerfael, -good sense deposed against Fatme. "Moreover," added she, "it has never -been heard, that, in a wise government, the letter of the law should be -so closely adhered to, that the simple allegation of a female accuser -should be sufficient to endanger the life of a subject. The reality of -a rape cannot be too clearly proved; and you will allow, Sir, that -this fact is as much at least within the province of your ring as of -your senators. It would be very singular, that the matrons should be -more knowing on this head than the Toys themselves. Hitherto your -highness's ring has done little more than satisfy your curiosity. Might -not the Genius, from whom you had it, have intended some more important -end? If you employ it for the discovery of truth, and the happiness -of your subjects, can you think the Genius will be offended? Try. You -are in possession of an infallible method of drawing from Fatme a -confession of her crime, or a proof of her innocence." "You are in the -right," replied Mangogul, "and you shall be satisfied." - -The Sultan departed immediately: and indeed there was no time to -lose: for it was the night of the twelfth of the moon Rebeg, and the -senate was to pronounce sentence on the thirteenth. Fatme was just -got into bed, the curtains were not quite closed. A night taper threw -a dull light on her countenance. The Sultan thought her beautiful, -notwithstanding the violent commotions which disfigured her. Compassion -and hatred, grief and revenge, audaciousness and shame were painted -in her eyes, according as they succeeded each other in her heart. -She uttered deep sighs, shed tears, wiped them off, shed fresh ones, -remained some moments with her head drooping and eyes dejected, then -suddenly raised them, and darted furious looks towards the heavens. -What was Mangogul doing all this time? He was talking to himself, and -saying. "These are the symptoms of despair. Her former tenderness -for Kerfael has revived in all its violence. She has lost sight of -the offence he committed, and has nothing in view but the punishment -reserved for her lover." As soon as he had finished these words, he -turned the fatal ring on Fatme, and her Toy cried out with vehemence. - -"Twelve hours more, and we shall be revenged. The treacherous -ingrateful man shall perish, and his blood shall be shed." Fatme -affrighted at the extraordinary motion which she felt within her, -and shock'd at the buzzing voice of her Toy, clapt both hands on -it, and put herself upon duty to stop its mouth. But the powerful -ring continued to act, and the ungovernable Toy breaking thro' every -obstacle, added: "Yes, we shall be revenged. O! thou who hast betray'd -me, wretched Kerfael, dye, and thou, whom he has preferred to me, O -Bimbreloqua, despair!----Twelve hours more! Alas! how tedious will -this time appear to me. Hasten, sweet moments, when I shall see the -treacherous, the ingrateful Kerfael under the executioner's knife, his -blood trickling down----Ah! Wretch, what have I said? Can I without -horror see the dearest object of my love perish? Can I see the fatal -weapon lifted up?----Ah! far from me this cruel thought.--He hates me, -'tis true; he has quitted me for Bimbreloqua, but perhaps some time or -other----why do I say, perhaps? Love will certainly recall him under -my yoke. That little Bimbreloqua is a fancy that will fly off; he must -sooner or later be sensible of the injustice of his preference, and -the ridiculousness of his new choice. Comfort thyself, Fatme, thou -shalt see thy Kerfael again. Yes, thou shalt see him again. Arise -quickly, run, fly to remove the dreadful danger which threatens him. -Dost thou not tremble to come too late?--But whither shall I run, mean -wretch that I am. Does not Kerfael's disdain foretel me, that he has -abandoned me for ever. Bimbreloqua enjoys him, and 'tis for her that I -was going to save him: ah! let him rather dye a thousand deaths. If he -lives no more for me, why should I be concerned for his death?--Yes, -I am now convinced that my wrath is just. The ingrateful Kerfael has -deserved all my hatred. I no longer have any remorse. I had done -every thing to keep him, I will do every thing to destroy him. Yet -one day later, and my revenge was disappointed. But his evil genius -delivered him up to me, the very moment that he thought to escape me. -He is fallen into the snare which I laid for him. I have him fast. The -appointment, to which I contrived to bring thee, was the last which -thou intendedst for me: but thou wilt not so soon forget it.--With what -address did you bring him to your beck? Fatme, how well concerted was -your disorder? Your shrieks, your grief, your tears, your confusion, -every thing, even to your silence, has ruin'd Kerfael. Nothing can -snatch him from his impending fate. Kerfael is dead--You weep, wretched -woman. He loved another, of what consequence is his life to you." - -Mangogul, filled with horror at this discourse, turned off his ring; -and while Fatme was recruiting her spirits, he flew back to the -Sultana. "Well, prince," said she, "what have you heard? Is Kerfael -still guilty, and the chast Fatme"--"I beseech you to excuse me," -answered the Sultan, "from repeating the abominations which I come from -hearing. How an exasperated woman is to be dreaded! Who could believe, -that a body formed by the graces, sometimes enclosed a heart molded -by the furies? But the sun shall not set to-morrow on my dominions, -before they be purged of a monster more dangerous than those which are -produced in my deserts." - -The Sultan immediately sent for the Seneschal, and commanded him to -seize Fatme, to remove Kerfael into one of the appartments of the -seraglio, and to inform the Senate, that he reserved to himself the -cognizance of his affair. His orders were executed that very night. - -The next morning at dawn of day, the Sultan attended by the Seneschal -and an Effendi, went to Mirzoza's appartment, and had Fatme brought -thither. This unfortunate woman threw herself at Mangogul's feet, -confessed her crime with all its circumstances, and conjured Mirzoza -to intercede for her. Mean while Kerfael was conducted in. He expected -nothing but death: however he made his appearance with that composed -assurance, which innocence alone can give. Some ill-natured wags said, -that he would be in greater consternation, if what he was threaten'd -to lose, was worth preserving. The women were upon the tenters to know -the issue. He prostrated himself respectuously before his highness. -Mangogul made him a signal to arise, and giving him his hand, "You -are innocent," said he, "be free. Render thanks to Brama for your -preservation. In order to make amends for the misery you have suffered, -I grant you a pension of two thousand sequins on my exchequer, and the -first commandery that shall fall in the order of the Crocodile." - -The more favors were bestowed on Kerfael, the more Fatme dreaded -punishment. The great Seneschal gave his opinion for death, grounded -upon the law: _Si foemina ff. de vi C. calumniatrix_. The Sultan was -inclined for perpetual imprisonment. Mirzoza finding too much rigor in -one of these judgments, and too much indulgence in the other, condemned -Fatme's Toy to the padlock. The Florentine machine was publickly -clapt on, upon the same scaffold that had been erected for Kerfael's -execution. Thence she was conducted to a house of correction, together -with the matrons who had given their decisive opinions with so much -knowledge. - - - - - -CHAP. XXVI. - -_Mirzoza's Metaphysics._ - -The Souls. - - -While Mangogul was interrogating the Toys of Haria, the widows, and -Fatme, Mirzoza had full time to prepare her philosophical lecture. -One evening, that the Manimonbanda was performing her devotions, that -there was neither play nor drawing room at court, and that the favorite -was almost certain of a visit from the Sultan; she took two black -petticoats, put one on in the usual manner, and the other over her -shoulders, passed her hands thro' the two slits, put on the peruke -of Mangogul's Seneschal, and his chaplain's square cap; and thought -herself equipped as a philosopher, whereas she had disguised herself -into a bat. - -In this masquerade dress, she walked up and down her appartments, as a -professor of the royal college waiting for his scholars. She affected -even to the gloomy pensive physiognomy of a learned man in meditation. -Mirzoza did not hold this forced gravity long. The Sultan entered with -some of his courtiers, and made a low bow to the new philosopher; whose -gravity disconcerted her audience, and was in its turn disconcerted -by the loud laughter it occasioned. "Madam," said Mangogul, "have you -not advantage enough by your wit and figure, without taking the robe -to your aid? without which your words would have all the weight that -you could have desired." "It seems to me, sir," answered Mirzoza, "that -you do not much respect this robe, and that a disciple should pay more -regard to what constitutes half the merit at least of his master." "I -perceive," replied the Sultan, "that you have already acquired the -spirit and tone of your new condition. I make no doubt at present, but -your capacity answers to the dignity of your dress, and I impatiently -expect a proof of it."--"You shall be satisfied this minute," said -Mirzoza, sitting down in the center of a large carpet. The Sultan and -courtiers placed themselves around her, and she began. - -"Have the philosophers, who presided over your highness's education, -ever entertain'd you on the nature of the soul?" "Oh! very often," -said Mangogul; "but all their systems had no other end, but giving me -uncertain notions of it; and were it not for an inward sentiment, which -seems to suggest to me, that it is a substance different from matter, -I should either have denied its existence, or confounded it with the -body. Would you undertake to clear up this chaos?" - -"So far from it," replied Mirzoza, "that I am not farther advanced -on that head than your pedagogues. The only difference between them -and me, is that I suppose the existence of a substance different -from matter, and that they hold it demonstrated. But this substance, -if it exists, must be lodged somewhere. Have they not preached many -extravagances to you on that article?" - -"No," said Mangogul: "they all pretty generally agreed, that it resides -in the head; and this opinion to me seemed probable. 'Tis the head -that thinks, imagines, reflects, judges, disposes, commands; and we say -every day of a man who does not think, that he has no brains, or that -he wants a head." - -"Well then," replied the Sultana, "the result of your long studies -and of all your philosophy, is, to suppose a fact, and to ground it -on popular expressions. Prince, what would you say of your first -geographer, if he presented your highness with a map of your dominions, -in which he had put the east in the west, and the north in the south?" - -"That is too gross an error," answered Mangogul, "for any geographer to -have ever committed." - -"That may be," continued the favorite; "and in the case before us, your -philosophers are greater bunglers, than the most bungling geographer -can be. They had not a vast empire to survey; the business was not to -fix the limits of the four parts of the world: all they had to do, was -to enter into themselves, and there mark the true seat of their soul. -Yet they have placed the east in the west, and the south in the north. -They have pronounced that the soul is in the head, whereas the greatest -part of mankind dye, without it's ever inhabiting that appartment; and -its first residence is in the feet." - -"In the feet!" interrupted the Sultan. "That is the most empty notion -that I have ever heard." - -"Yes, in the feet," replied Mirzoza, "and this opinion, which to you -seems so silly, will, upon thoroughly examining it, become rational; -contrary to all those, which you allow as true, and which upon a -thorough examination are found to be false. Your highness agreed with -me just now, that the existence of our soul was founded on the interior -testimony alone, which it bore to itself; and I will now demonstrate, -that all the proofs imaginable of sense concur to fix the soul in the -seat which I have assigned it." - -"There we expect you," said Mangogul. - -"I desire no favor," continued she; "and I invite ye all to propose -your difficulties. Well then, I was saying that the soul takes up -its first residence in the feet, that there it begins to exist, and -from the feet it advances into the body. To experience I appeal for -this fact; and perhaps I am going to lay the first foundations of -experimental metaphysics. - -"We have all experienced in our infancy, that the benumbed soul -remains whole months in a state of sleepiness. At that time the eyes -open without seeing, the mouth without speaking, and the ears without -hearing. 'Tis elsewhere that the soul endeavours to stretch itself and -awake; 'tis in other members that she practises her first functions. -'Tis by the feet that a child gives notice of his formation. His -body, head and arms are immoveable in the mother's womb; but his feet -unfold and extend themselves, and give proofs of his existence, and -perhaps of his exigences. When he is on the point of birth, what would -become of his head, body and arms? They would never come out of their -confinement, had they not been assisted by the feet: here the feet act -the principal part, and drive the rest of the body before them. Such is -the order of nature; and whenever any other member attempts to lead -the van; when the head, for example, takes the place of the feet; every -thing goes wrong, and God knows what is the consequence sometimes, both -to the mother and the child. - -"Is the child born? 'tis still in the feet that the chief motions are -performed. We are obliged to confine them: and this is never done -without some reluctance on their part. The head is a block, with which -we do what we will; but the feet are sensible of, shake off the yoke, -and seem jealous of the liberty, of which they are deprived. - -"Is the child able to stand alone? the feet make a thousand efforts to -move; they put every thing into action: they command the other members, -and the obedient hands lean against the walls, and advance forward to -prevent or break the falls, and facilitate the action of the feet. - -"Whither do all the thoughts of a child tend, what are his pleasures, -when, secure on his legs, his feet have acquired the habit of moving? -To exercise them, to go to and fro', to run, to leap, to bounce. This -turbulence pleases us, we take it for a mark of sense; and we predict -the future stupidity of the child, when we see him indolent and sullen. -Have you a mind to vex a child of four years old? make him sit down for -a quarter of an hour, or imprison him between four chairs: he will grow -peevish and ill-humor'd: for 'tis not his legs alone that you deprive -of exercise, 'tis his soul that you hold in captivity. - -"The soul remains in the feet to the age of two or three years; at four -it inhabits the legs; it gets up to the knees and thighs at fifteen. -Then we love dancing, fencing, riding, and the other violent bodily -exercises. This is the predominant passion of all young folks, and -the madness of some. What! does not the soul reside in those places, -where she almost only manifests herself, and where she feels the most -agreeable sensations? But if her residence varies in infancy and youth, -why should it not vary thro' every stage of life?" - -Mirzoza pronounced this discourse with such rapidity as made her pant. -Selim, one of the Sultan's favorites, embraced the moment while she was -taking breath, and said to her: "Madam, I will make use of the liberty -you have granted the company, of proposing their objections. Your -system is ingenious, and you have delivered it with equal grace and -clearness: but I am not so far seduced by it, as to think it stands -demonstrated. Methinks one may say, that even in infancy 'tis the head -that commands the feet, and from thence the spirits flow, which, by -means of the nerves, running into all the members, stop or move them -at the will of the soul seated on the pineal gland: just as we see his -highness's orders issuing from the sublime Porte, which set all his -subjects in action." - -"Doubtless," replied Mirzoza, "but one would tell me a very obscure -thing; to which I should give no other answer than by an experienced -fact. In infancy we have no certainty that the head thinks; and even -you, my lord, who have so good an one, and who in your tender years -passed for a prodigy of reason, do you remember that you thought at -that time? But you might well assert, that when you gamboled about like -a little Dæmon, so as to drive your governants out of their wits, your -feet then governed your head." - -"That proves nothing," said the Sultan. "Selim was lively, and so are -a thousand other children. They do not reflect, but they think: time -slips away, the remembrance of things wears out, and they remember not -that they thought." - -"But by what part did they think," replied Mirzoza: "for that is the -point in dispute?" - -"By the head," answered Selim. - -"What! always this head, into which one cannot peep," replied the -Sultana. "Pray, drop your dark lanthorn, in which you suppose a light, -that is seen by none but by him who carries it: hear my experiment, and -own the truth of my hypothesis. It is so constantly true, that the -soul begins its progress in the body by the feet, that there are some -of both sexes, in whom it never rose higher. My lord, you have admired -Nini's nimbleness and Saligo's feats of activity a thousand times: -answer me then sincerely, do you think that these creatures have their -souls any where else but in their legs? And have you not remarked, that -in Volucer and Zelindor the head is submissive to the feet? The eternal -temptation of a dancer is to contemplate his legs. At every step his -attentive eye follows his paces, and his head bows respectuously before -his feet, as do before his highness his invincible Pacha's." - -"I allow the observation," said Selim: "but I deny that it is a general -one." - -"Nor do I pretend," replied Mirzoza, "that the soul always fixes in -the feet: she advances, she travels, she quits a part, returns to -it, and quits it again; but I maintain that the other members are -subordinate to that which she inhabits. All this varies according to -the age, temper and circumstances; and thence arises the difference of -tastes, the diversity of inclinations and characters. Do you not admire -the fecundity of my principle? And is not its certainty evinced by the -number of phænomena, to which it extends?" - -"Madam," answered Selim, "if you applied it to some in particular, -perhaps it might give us a degree of conviction, which we have not yet -acquired." - -"Most willingly," replied Mirzoza, who began to be sensible of the -advantages she gain'd: "you shall be satisfied, only follow the chain -of my notions. I do not pretend to make arguments in form. I speak -from my heart; this is the philosophy of our sex, and you understand it -almost as well as we. It is probable enough," added she, "that the soul -occupies the feet and legs to the age of eight or ten: but about that -time, or rather later, she quits that lodging, either of her own free -motion, or by force. By force, when a tutor employs certain machines -to drive her out of her native place, and lead her into the brain; -where she is metamorphosed generally into memory, and seldom or never -into judgment. This is the fate of school-boys. In like manner, if a -weak governant labours hard to form a young girl, stuffs her mind with -knowledge, and neglects the heart and morals; the soul rapidly flies -towards the head, stops on the tongue, or fixes in the eyes; and her -scholar is but a tiresome pratler, or a coquet. - -"Thus the voluptuous woman is she whose soul occupies her Toy, and -never strays from it. - -"The woman of gallantry, she whose soul is sometimes in her Toy, and -sometimes in her eyes. - -"The affectionate woman, she whose soul is habitually in the heart, but -sometimes also in her Toy. - -"The virtuous woman, she whose soul is sometimes in her head, sometimes -in her heart, but never any where else. - -"If the soul fixes in the heart, she forms the characters of -sensibility, compassion, truth, generosity. If she quits the heart -without returning thither, and retires to the head; then she forms -those whom we call hardhearted, ungrateful, deceitful, cruel men. - -"The class of those, in whom the soul visits the head merely as a -country-house, where its stay is short, is very numerous. It is -composed of _Petits-Maitres_, coquets, musicians, poets, romancers, -courtiers, and all those who are called pretty women. Listen to the -reasoning of these entities, and you will instantly discern vagabond -souls, which are influenced by the different climes they inhabit." - -"If that be the case," said Selim, "nature has formed many useless -things. And yet our sages hold as a constant maxim, that she has -produced nothing in vain." - -"Drop your sages and their lofty expressions," answered Mirzoza; "and -as to nature, let us consider her with the eyes of experience only, -and we shall learn from her, that she has placed the soul in the body -of man, as in a spacious palace, of which she does not always occupy -the most beautiful appartment. The head and heart are principally -destined for her, as the center of virtue, and the residence of truth: -but most commonly she stops on the road, and prefers a garret, a -suspicious place, a miserable inn, where she drops asleep in perpetual -drunkenness. Ah! If I were allowed for twenty-four hours only, to -settle the world according to my fancy, I would divert you with a -very strange sight: in a moment I would deprive each soul of the -superfluous parts of its habitation; and you would see each individual -characterised by the part left him. Thus dancers would be reduced to -two feet, or two legs at most; singers to a throat; most women to a -Toy; hero's and prize-fighters to an armed hand; certain learned men -to a skull without brains; a female gamester should be stinted to two -hands incessantly shuffling the cards; a glutton to two jaws always -in motion; a coquet to two eyes; a rake to the sole instrument of his -passion; the ignorant and lazy to nothing." - -"If you leave the women any hands at all," interrupted the Sultan, -"those men whom you would reduce to the sole instrument of their -passions, would be pursued. This chace would be a pleasant sight: and -if the sex was as greedy of this game every where else as in Congo, the -species would soon be extinct." - -"But," said Selim to the favorite, "of what would you compose -affectionate and sensible women, constant and faithful lovers?" - -"Of a heart," answered Mirzoza; "and I well know," added she, darting -a tender glance on Mangogul, "that, to which mine would wish to be -united." - -The Sultan could not stand against this declaration: he sprung from -his seat to the favorite: the courtiers disappear'd, and the new -philosopher's chair became the theatre of their pleasures: he gave -her repeated proofs that he was not less charmed with her sentiments -than with her discourse; and the philosophic equipage was thrown into -disorder. Mirzoza return'd the black petticoats to her women, sent -my lord Seneschal his enormous peruke, and to _Monsieur l'Abbé_ his -square cap, with assurances that he should be on the list at the next -nomination. What would he not have attained, if he had been a genius? -A seat in the academy was the least reward that he could expect: but -unluckily he knew but two or three hundred words, and had never been -able from that stock, to compass the composing of two _Ritournelles_. - - - - -CHAP. XXVII. - -_Sequel of the preceding conversation._ - - -Mangogul was the only person that had given attention to Mirzoza's -philosophic lecture without interrupting her; and as he was pretty much -inclined to contradict, she was astonish'd at it. "Does the Sultan -allow my system from beginning to end?" said she within herself. "No, -that is not probable: has he found it too bad to deign to attack it? -that may be. My notions are not the most just that have been broach'd -to this day; I grant it: but neither are they the most false; and I am -apt to think that worse have been invented." - -In order to clear up this doubt, the favorite resolved to ask some -questions of Mangogul. "Well, prince," said she, "what are your -thoughts of my system?" "It is admirable," answered the Sultan; "I find -but one defect in it." "What defect is that?" replied the favorite. -"It is," said Mangogul, "that it is as false as false can be. Pursuant -to your notions, we must all be endowed with souls: now observe, my -soul's delight, that there is not common sense in this supposition. I -have a soul: there is an animal that acts most part of the time as if -he had none; and perhaps in reality he has none, even while he acts as -if he had one. But he has a nose made like mine; I feel that I have a -soul, and that I think: therefore that animal has a soul, and thinks -likewise. This argument has been made use of above a thousand years, -and it has been impertinent full as long." - -"I own," said the favorite, "that it is not always evident that others -think." "And add," replied Mangogul, "that it is evident on an hundred -occasions that they do not think." "But in my opinion," says Mirzoza, -"it would be going a great length, to infer from thence, that they -never have or ever will think. A person is not always a beast, for -having been so sometimes; and your highness----" - -Mirzoza, fearing to offend the Sultan, stopt short. "Continue, madam," -said Mangogul, "I understand you; would you not have said, has my -highness never acted the beast? I answer you, that I have now and then, -and that even I excused others for taking me for such: for you may -easily imagine, that they did not fail so to do, tho' they dared not to -speak out."----"Ah! prince," cried the favorite, "if men refused a soul -to the greatest monarch upon earth, to whom could they allow one?" - -"Pray, forbear compliments," says Mangogul. "I have for a moment laid -down the crown and scepter. I have ceased to be Sultan, in order to -be a philosopher, and I can hear and speak the truth. I believe I -have given you proofs of the one; and you have hinted to me, without -offending me, and quite at your ease, that I have been sometimes no -better than a beast. Permit me thoroughly to fulfil the duties of my -new character. - -"Far from agreeing with you," continued he, "that every creature -that has legs, arms, hands, eyes and ears as I have, possesses a soul -like me; I declare to you, that I am absolutely perswaded, that three -fourths of the men and all the women are but mere machines." - -"There may possibly be as much truth," answered the favorite, "as -politeness in what you say." - -"Oh!" says the Sultan, "madam seems to be angry: and why the devil -do you take it into your head to philosophize, if you will not allow -one to speak the truth? Is it in the schools that politeness is to be -sought for? I have left you full elbow-room; pray, allow me the same, -if you please. Well, then, I was saying, that ye are all beasts." - -"Yes, prince; and this is what remained to be proved," added Mirzoza. - -"Nothing more easy," answered the Sultan. Then he set about detailing -all the impertinences which had been said over and over, with as little -wit and delicacy as possible, against a sex which possesses both these -qualities in a sovereign degree. Never was Mirzoza's patience put to a -greater trial; and you would never be so tired in your whole life, as -if I related all Mangogul's reasonings. This prince, who did not want -good sense, was that day absurd beyond all comprehension: of which you -shall be a judge. "It is so true, by Jupiter," said he, "that a woman -is but an animal, that I'll wager, if I turn Cucufa's ring on my mare, -I shall make her speak like a woman." - -"Without doubt," answered Mirzoza, "there is the strongest argument -that has ever been, or ever will be made against us." Then she burst -out into a loud fit of laughter. Mangogul, vexed to see no end to -her laughter, went out in a hurry, resolved to try the whimsical -experiment, which occur'd to his imagination. - - - - -CHAP. XXVIII. - -_Thirteenth trial of the Ring._ - -The Little Mare. - - -I am not a great portrait-maker. I have exempted the reader from that -of the favorite Sultana; but I can never condescend to remit him that -of the Sultan's mare. She was of a middling size, and had a pretty -good gait; the chief fault found with her in that regard was, that -she did not bridle her head sufficiently. Her colour was white, with -blue eyes, small hoofs, clean legs, firm hams, and light haunches. -She had been taught to dance for a long time, and she made her bows -like a master of the ceremonies. Upon the whole she was a pretty beast -enough, and remarkably gentle: she was easily mounted, but one must be -an excellent horseman to be able to keep the saddle. She had belong'd -to the senator Aaron: but on a fine evening the skittish creature -took fright, threw the judge, and ran full speed to the Sultan's -studs, carrying with her the saddle, bridle, furniture, housings and -caparisons of value; which became her so well, that it was not thought -proper to send them back. - -Mangogul went into his stables, accompanied by his first secretary -Ziguezague. "Listen attentively," said he, "and write."----That -very instant he turn'd his ring on the mare, which fell to leaping, -prancing, kicking, bouncing, and neighing under the tail.----"Where -are your thoughts," said the prince to his secretary, "write -then."----"Sultan," replied Ziguezague, "I wait till your highness -begins."----"My mare," says Mangogul, "will dictate to you this once, -write." - -Ziguezague, whom this order reduced too low in his own opinion, -assumed the liberty of representing to the Sultan, that he would -always esteem it a high honour to be his secretary, but not that of -his mare. "Write, I tell you," said the Sultan again. "Prince, I -cannot," replied Ziguezague: "I know not the orthography of this sort -of words."----"Write however," said the Sultan once more----"I am -excessively mortified, to be obliged to disobey your highness," added -Ziguezague; "but"----"But you are a scoundrel," interrupted Mangogul, -incensed at a refusal so much out of place; "quit my palace, and never -appear there more." - -Poor Ziguezague disappear'd, having learn'd by experience, that a man -of spirit ought not to enter the palaces of most part of the great, -without leaving his sentiments at the gate. His deputy was called. He -was a Provencal, frank, honest, and thoroughly disinterested. He flew -whither he thought his duty and fortune called him, made a low bow to -the Sultan, a lower still to his mare, and wrote every thing that the -beast vouchsafed to dictate. - -I must beg leave to refer those, who are curious to know her -discourse, to the archives of Congo. This prince immediately ordered -copies of it to be distributed among all his interpreters and -professors of foreign languages, both ancient and modern. One said, -that it was a scene of some old Greek tragedy, which to him appear'd -very moving; another, by the strength of his genius discovered, that -it was an important fragment of Egyptian theology: a third pretended, -that it was the Exordium of Hannibal's funeral oration in the Punic -language; and a fourth asserted, that the piece was writ in Chinese, -and that it was a very devout prayer to Confucius. - -While the Litterati were trying the Sultan's patience with their -learned conjectures, he recollected Gulliver's travels, and made no -doubt, but that a person, who had lived so long as this Englishman, -in an island, where horses have a government, laws, kings, gods, -priests, a religion, temples and altars, and who seemed so perfectly -well instructed in their manners and customs, was a thorough master of -their language. Accordingly Gulliver read and interpreted the mare's -discourse off hand, notwithstanding the orthographical errors, with -which it abounded. Nay, it is the only good translation of it in all -Congo. Mangogul learned for his own private satisfaction, and for the -honour of his system, that it was an historical abridgment of the -amours of an old Pacha of three tails with the little mare, which -had been attack'd by an infinite number of jack-asses before him: a -singular anecdote, the truth of which however was not unknown, either -to the Sultan, or to any other person at court, at Banza, and in the -rest of the empire. - - - - -CHAP. XXIX. - -_The best perhaps, and the least read of this history._ - -_Mangogul's dream, or a voyage into the region of hypotheses._ - - -"Waa," says Mangogul, yawning and rubbing his eyes, "my head achs. -Let nobody evermore talk philosophy to me. Such conversations are -unwholsome. Last night I lay on empty ideas; and instead of sleeping -like a Sultan, my brain work'd more than those of my ministers do in -a year. You laugh; but to convince you that I do not exaggerate, and -to take my revenge for the bad night which your reasonings gave me, I -enjoin you the penance of hearing my dream in its full extent. - -"As soon as I began to nod, and my imagination to take its flight, -I saw an odd animal bounce by my side. He had the head of an eagle, -the feet of a griffon, the body of a horse, and the tail of a lion. I -seized him, notwithstanding his prancing; and holding by his mane, I -nimbly sprung on his back. Immediately he spread out long wings, which -issued from his flanks, and I felt myself carried in the air with -incredible swiftness. - -"After driving a vast way, I espied, in the emptiness of space, a -building suspended as by enchantment. It was a vast one. I will not say -that it was faulty in its foundation; for it had none. Its columns, -which were not half a foot in diameter, ran up out of sight, and -supported arches, which would not have been visible, were it not for -the symmetrical lights made in them. - -"At the entrance into this edifice it was that my beast first stop'd. -At first I was in a doubt whether I should alight: for I apprehended -less danger in sitting on my hippogriffon, than in walking under this -portico. However, encouraged by the multitude of its inhabitants, and -by a remarkable security, which was predominant in their countenances, -I alight, go forward, mix with the crowd, and make my observations on -those that composed it. - -"They were old men, either bloated or feeble; without _Embonpoint_ and -strength, and almost all deform'd. The head of one was too little, the -arms of another too short. One was hump-back'd, another bandy-legg'd. -Most of them had no feet, and walk'd on crutches. A breath threw them -down, and they remain'd on the ground, till some new comer was pleased -to lift them up. All these defects notwithstanding, they pleased at -first sight. They had in their physiognomy somewhat engaging and -confident. They were almost naked: for all their cloathing consisted of -a small rag of stuff, which did not cover the hundredth part of their -body. - -"I continued to pierce the crowd, and got to the foot of a rostrum, for -which a cobweb served as a canopy. The boldness of this rostrum was of -a piece with that of the building. To me it seemed placed on the point -of a needle, and to support itself there in æquilibrio. I trembled a -hundred times for the person, who was in it. He was an old man, with a -long beard, as wither'd and naked as any of his disciples: he had a cup -full of a subtil fluid before him, into which he dipp'd a straw-pipe; -then put it to his mouth, and blew bubbles to a crowd of spectators -around him, who were using their utmost endeavours to drive them up to -the clouds. - -"'Where am I?' said I to myself, all in confusion at these childish -tricks. 'What means this blower of bubbles, and all these decrepit -infants employ'd in making them fly about? Who will let me into the -secret of these things?'--Besides, the little scraps of stuff had -struck me; and I observed that the larger they were, the less those -that wore them interested themselves in the bubbles. This singular -remark embolden'd me to accost him, who was the least undress'd of the -company. - -"I saw one, whose shoulders were half covered with pieces so well -fitted together, that the seams were not to be seen. He walk'd forward -and backward in the crowd, with very little concern for what they were -doing. He had an affable air, a smiling mouth, a noble gait, a mild -look; and I went directly to him, and asked him without ceremony: 'Who -are you? Where am I? And who are all these folks?'--He answered, 'I -am Plato. You are in the region of hypotheses, and these folks are -systematics.' 'But by what chance,' replied I, 'is the divine Plato -here, and what does he do among these madmen?'--'Raising recruits,' -said he. 'At a distance from this Portico I have a sanctuary, whither I -conduct those who abandon systems.' 'And how do you employ them?' 'In -knowing man, practising virtue, and sacrificing to the graces'--'These -are noble employments: but what mean these shreds of fluff, whereby you -look more like beggers than philosophers?'--'Oh! what a question do you -propose to me,' said he with a sigh, 'and what thoughts do you bring -back to my mind? This temple was formerly that of philosophy. Alas! how -much this place is changed! The chair of Socrates was here.'--'How,' -said I, interrupting him, 'had Socrates a straw, and did he blow -bubbles?'--'No, no,' replied Plato, 'it was not by such means that -he merited of the Gods the name of the wisest of men. His constant -occupation, during life, was forming heads and hearts. The secret was -lost at his death. Socrates died, and the bright days of philosophy -were no more. These pieces of stuff, which those very systematics think -it an honour to wear, are scraps of his garment. Scarcely had his eyes -been closed, when those, who aspired to the title of philosophers, -seized his robe, and tore it in pieces.' 'I understand,' said I, 'these -pieces served as tickets both to them and their long posterity.'--'Who -will collect these scraps,' continued Plato, 'and restore us Socrates's -robe? - -"While he was uttering these words, I saw at a distance a child walking -towards us in a slow but sure pace. He had a little head, slender -body, weak arms and short legs: but all these parts increased in -all dimensions, according as he came forward. In the progress of his -successive growth, he appear'd to me under a hundred different forms; -I saw him directing a long telescope towards the heavens, estimating -the fall of bodies by means of a pendulum, determining the weight of -the air by a tube fill'd with quicksilver, and discomposing light with -a prism. He was now become an enormous Colossus: his head touch'd the -heavens, his feet were lost in the abyss, and his arms reach'd from one -to the other pole. With his right hand he brandished a torch, whose -light spread a vast way in the sky, enlightened even the bottom of the -waters, and penetrated into the entrails of the earth. I ask'd Plato, -what that gigantic figure was, that was coming towards us. 'It is -experience,' said he. Scarcely had he made me this short answer, when I -saw experience draw near, and the columns of the portico of hypotheses -to shake, its arches to sink in, and its pavement to crack under our -feet. 'Let us fly,' said Plato, 'let us fly: this edifice has but a -moment to stand.' At these words he departs, and I follow him. The -Colossus arrives, strikes the portico, it tumbles down with a frightful -noise, and I awake." - -"Ah! Prince," cried Mirzoza, "'tis you that ought to dream. I would -indeed be very glad, that you had had a good night: but now that I know -your dream, I should be very sorry that you had not dream'd it." - -"Madam," said Mangogul, "I could point out nights better spent than -that of this dream, which gives you so much pleasure; and if I had -been master of making the journey, or not; it is very probable, that, -not hoping to find you in the country of hypotheses, I should have bent -my course elsewhere. And then, either I should not have the head-ach, -which I actually feel, or at least I should have reason to make myself -easy under it." - -"Prince," replied Mirzoza, "it is to be hoped, that it will soon go -off; and that one or two experiments of your ring will rid you of -it." "I must try," said Mangogul. The conversation lasted some time -longer between the Sultan and Mirzoza; so that he did not quit her -till eleven, when he went upon the expedition related in the following -chapter. - - - - -CHAP. XXX. - -_Fourteenth trial of the Ring._ - -The mute Toy. - - -Of all the ladies, who shone at the Sultan's court, none had more -charms and wit than young Egle, the wife of his highness's great -cupbearer. She was of all Mangogul's parties, who was much taken with -the chearfulness of her conversation: and as if there could be neither -pleasure nor amusement without Egle, she was also of all the parties -of the grandees of his court. Balls, public diversions, drawing rooms, -feasts, private suppers, hunting matches, play, every where Egle was -invited, and every where she appear'd: it seem'd as if the taste of -amusements multiplied her, according to the will of those who desired -her company. Wherefore it is needless to say, that if no woman was as -much sought after as Egle, there was none so diffused. - -She had been always pursued by a crowd of lovers, and people were -persuaded that she had not treated them all with severity. Whether -it were inadvertence, or thorough good nature, her common politeness -frequently resembled premeditated regard: and those who endeavour'd to -gain her, sometimes read affection in her eyes, when she never intended -more than affability. Neither caustic, nor detracting, she never -open'd her mouth but to say pleasing things: which she did with such -spirit and vivacity, that on several occasions, her encomiums raised -a suspicion that she had a choice to justify. Thus it appears, that -those, of whom Egle was the ornament and delight, were unworthy of her. - -It was natural to think, that a woman, in whom no fault perhaps was to -be found, but an excess of goodness, ought to have no enemies. Yet she -had some, and very bitter ones. The devouts of Banza found that she had -too free an air, and somewhat too loose in her carriage; saw nothing in -her conduct but a rage of worldly pleasures; inferred thence, that her -morals were equivocal at least, and charitably insinuated this to all -those that would hear them. - -The court ladies did not treat Egle with greater tenderness. They -suspected her intimacies, gave her gallants, even honored her with -some great adventures, made her a party concerned in others: they knew -particulars, and quoted witnesses. "Good," whispered they, "she has -been surprized _tête à tête_ with Melraim in one of the groves of the -great park. Egle does not want wit," added they; "but Melraim has too -much good sense to be amused with her speeches alone, at ten at night, -in a grove."--"You are mistaken," said a _Petit-Maitre_, "I have walked -with her a hundred times in the dusk of the evening, and found my -account in it. But _à propos_, do you know that Zulemar is daily at her -toilette?"--"Doubtless, we know it, and that she has no toilette but -when her husband is in waiting at court."----"Poor Celebi," continued -another, "indeed his wife advertises him by the aigrette and diamond -buckles, which she received of the pacha Ismael."----"Is that true, -madam?"----"It is strict truth, I have it from her own mouth: but in -the name of Brama let this go no farther. Egle is my friend, and I -should be very sorry"----"Alas," cried a third sorrowfully, "the poor -little creature ruins herself very chearfully. A great pity truly. But -twenty intrigues at a time, that seems rather too much." - -The _Petits-Maitres_ were not more sparing of her. One related a -hunting match, in which she and he lost themselves together. Another, -out of respect for the sex, suppress'd the consequences of a very -smart conversation he held with her at a masquerade, where he met her. -A third made a panegyric on her wit and charms, and ended it by shewing -her portrait, which he declared he had from the best hands. "This -portrait," said a fourth, "is more like her than that, of which she -made a present to Jenaki." - -These stories at length came to her husband's ears. Celebi loved his -wife, but still with such decency, that no body had the least suspicion -of it. He repulsed the first reports, but they return'd to the charge -from so many quarters, that he thought his friends more clear-sighted -than himself: and the more liberty he had granted to Egle, the more -he suspected that she had abused it. Jealousy took possession of his -soul. He began by cramping his wife. Egle bore this change of behaviour -with the greater impatience, as she was conscious of her innocence. -Her vivacity and the advices of her female friends, hurried her into -inconsiderate deportment, which made all the appearances turn against -her, and had like to cost her her life. The violent Celebi for some -time rack'd his brain with a thousand projects of revenge, steel, -poison, the fatal noose, &c. and at length resolved on a slower and -more cruel punishment, by confining her to his country seat: which is -death indeed to a court lady. In a word, orders are given: Egle is -inform'd of her destiny: he is insensible to her tears and deaf to her -reasons, and she is banish'd two hundred miles from Banza, to an old -castle, where she is allowed no other company than two maids and four -black eunuchs, who continually watch her. - -Scarcely was she set out, when she was innocent. The _Petits-Maitres_ -forgot her adventures; the women forgave her her wit and charms, and -all the world bemoaned her. Mangogul was apprized, from Celebi's own -mouth, of his motives for the dreadful resolution he had taken against -his wife, and seem'd to be the only person that approved it. - -The wretched Egle had already groaned near six months under her exile, -when Kerfael's adventure happened. Mirzoza wish'd she might prove -innocent, but durst not indulge those flattering hopes. However, she -one day said to the Sultan: "Prince, might not your ring, which has -saved Kerfael's life, put an end to Egle's banishment? But I forget -myself: in order to that, her Toy should be consulted; and the poor -recluse is dying with grief two hundred miles hence."----"You interest -yourself much," answered Mangogul, "in Egle's fate." "Yes Prince," said -Mirzoza; "especially if she is innocent." "You shall have tydings of -this affair within an hour," replied Mangogul. "Do you not remember the -properties of my ring?"----At these words, he went into the garden, -turn'd his ring, and in less than fifteen minutes was in the park of -the castle wherein Egle dwelt. - -There he espied Egle alone and overwhelm'd with sorrow: her head was -leaning on her hand, she was tenderly repeating her husband's name, -and with her tears she was watering the green turf, on which she sate. -Mangogul drawing near turn'd his ring on her, and Egle's Toy said in -a mournful strain: "I love Celebi." The Sultan waited for the sequel; -but as it came not, he had recourse to his ring, which he rubb'd two -or three times against his hat, before he levell'd it on Egle: but his -labour was vain. The Toy repeated: "I love Celebi," and stop'd short. -"There is a very discreet Toy," said the Sultan. "Let us try once more, -and ply it closer." Whereupon he gave to his ring all the energy, which -it was capable of receiving, and turn'd it nimbly on Egle: but her Toy -continued mute. It either constantly kept silence, or broke it only by -repeating these plaintive words: "I love Celebi, and have never loved -any other man." - -Mangogul, being thoroughly satisfied, returned to Mirzoza in fifteen -minutes. "What, Prince," said she, "return'd already. Well, what have -you learnt? Do you bring fresh matter for our conversations?" "I bring -nothing," answered the Sultan. "What! nothing?"--"Nothing at all. I -never knew a Toy so silent: I could get nothing from it but these -words. 'I love Celebi, I love Celebi, and have never loved any other -man.'" "Ah! Prince," replied Mirzoza with vivacity, "what do you tell -me? What happy news! There is one virtuous woman found at last. Will -you suffer her to remain longer miserable?" "No," answered Mangogul: -"her banishment shall be at an end, but have you no apprehensions that -it may be at the expence of her virtue? Egle is chaste, but consider, -my heart's delight, what you require of me; to re-call her to my court, -in order that she may continue so: however you shall be satisfied." - -The Sultan sent for Celebi immediately, and told him; that having made -a strict inquiry into the reports spread abroad concerning Egle, he had -found them false and calumnious, and commanded him to bring her back to -court. Celebi obey'd, and presented his wife to Mangogul: she was going -to throw herself at his highness's feet, but the Sultan stopping her -said: "Madam, thank Mirzoza. Her friendship for you determined me to -clear up the truth of the facts imputed to you. Continue to embellish -my court; but remember that a pretty woman sometimes does herself as -much mischief by acts of imprudence, as by adventures." - -The very next day Egle waited on the Manimonbanda, who received her -with a smile. The _Petits-Maitres_ redoubled their insipidities towards -her, and the women all ran to embrace and give her joy, and began again -to tear her in pieces. - - -End of the First Volume. - - - - -CHAP. XXXI. - -Was Mangogul in the right? - - -From the time that Mangogul had received the fatal present of Cucufa, -the ridicules and vices of the sex were become the eternal subject of -his jokes: he was never done with them, and his favorite's patience was -frequently quite tired out. Now, two cruel effects of this teizing on -her, as well as on many others, was to put her into a bad humor, and -to sour her temper. At those times woe to him that came near her: she -made no distinction of persons, and the Sultan himself was not spared. - -"Prince," said she to him, in one of these peevish fits, "tho' you are -so knowing in many things, perhaps you do not know the news of the -day."----"What is it?" said Mangogul.----"It is, that every morning -you get by heart three pages of Brantome, or of Ouville: people do not -determine which of these two profound writers you prefer"----"They are -mistaken, madam," answered Mangogul, "'tis Crebillon, that"----"O, -pray don't excuse yourself from that sort of reading," interrupted the -favorite. "The new calumnies that are invented on us, are so insipid, -that it is better to revive the old. Truly there are very good things -in this same Brantome: if to these little stories you add three or -four chapters of Bayle, you alone will in a thrice have as much wit -as the marquiss D'----, and the Chevalier de Mouhi. That would spread -a surprising variety on your conversation. When you have equipped the -ladies from head to foot, you might then fall on the Pagoda's; and from -the Pagoda's you might return on the women. In truth, all that you want -to make you quite diverting, is a small collection of impieties." - -"You are in the right, madam," answered Mangogul, "and I will take care -to lay in a good stock. He who is afraid of being duped in this world -and the next, cannot be too much upon his guard against the power of -the Pagoda's, the probity of men, and virtue of women." - -"Then, in your opinion, this virtue is a very ambiguous thing?" replied -Mirzoza. "More so than you imagine," answered Mangogul. - -"Prince," returned Mirzoza, "you have a hundred times talk'd to me -of your ministers as the honestest men in Congo. I have so often -patiently heard the praises of your Seneschal, of the governors of your -provinces, of your secretaries, of your treasurer, in a word, of all -your officers, that I am able to repeat them by memory word for word. -It is strange, that the object of your tenderness should be the only -person excepted from the good opinion, which you have conceived of -those who have the honor of being near your person." - -"And who told you that it is so?" replied the Sultan. "Be perswaded, -madam, that the discourses, true or false, which I make on women, do by -no means concern you, unless you think proper to represent the sex in -general.----" - -"I should not advise madam to that," added Selim, who was present at -this conversation. "She would gain nothing by it but defects." - -"I do not," answered Mirzoza, "relish compliments which are addressed -to me at the expence of my sex. When any one takes it into his head to -praise me, I could wish that nobody suffered by it. Most of the fine -speeches which are offered to us, are like the sumptuous entertainments -which your highness receives from your Pacha's: they are always at the -expence of the public." - -"Let us pass that by," said Mangogul. "But sincerely, are you not -convinced that the virtue of the women of Congo is but a mere chimæra? -Pray observe, my soul's delight, what the present fashionable education -is, what examples mothers set to their daughters, and how the head -of a pretty woman is filled with the notion, that to confine herself -to domestic affairs, to manage her family, and keep to her husband, -is to lead a dismal life, to be eat up with vapors, and to bury -herself alive. And at the same time we men are so forward, and a young -unexperienced girl is so raptured with being attack'd. I have said that -virtuous women were rare, excessively rare; and far from changing my -sentiment, I might add freely, that 'tis surprizing they are not more -so. Ask Selim what he thinks of the matter." - -"Prince," answered Mirzoza, "Selim has too great obligations to our -sex, to tear them in pieces without mercy." - -"Madam," said Selim, "his highness, who could not possibly meet with -cruel women, ought naturally to think of the sex as he does: and you, -who have the good nature to judge of others by yourself, can hardly -have any other sentiments than those which you defend. I will own -however, that I am apt to believe there are women of sense, to whom -the benefits of virtue are known by experience, and whom a serious -reflection has convinced of the ill consequences of an irregular life; -women happily born, well educated, who have learn'd to feel their duty, -who love it, and will never swerve from it." - -"And not to lose ourselves in speculative reasoning," added the -favorite, "is not Egle, with all her sprightliness and charms, a -model of virtue? Prince, you cannot doubt it, and all Banza knows it -from your mouth: now, if there be one virtuous woman, there may be a -thousand." - -"Oh! as to the possibility," said Mangogul, "I dispute it not." - -"But if you allow it possible," replied Mirzoza, "who has revealed to -you, that they do not actually exist?" - -"Nothing but their Toys," answered the Sultan. "And yet I grant that -this evidence does not come up to the strength of your argument. May -I be transform'd into a mole, if you have not borrowed it from some -Bramin. Order the Manimonbanda's chaplain to be called, and he will -tell you that you have proved the existence of virtuous women, much -as he demonstrates that of Brama, in Braminology. _A propos_, have -you not taken a course in that sublime school, before you entered the -Seraglio?" - -"No ill-natured jokes," replied Mirzoza. "I do not draw my conclusion -from possibility: I ground it on a fact, on an experiment." - -"Yes," continued Mangogul, "on a lame fact, on a single experiment; -while, to your certain knowledge, I have a multitude of trials for my -opinion: but I will not sour your temper by farther contradictions." - -"It is a favor," said Mirzoza, "that after two hours teizing, you cease -to persecute me." - -"If I have committed the fault," answered Mangogul, "I will endeavour -to make amends for it. Madam, I give up all my past advantages; and if, -in the trials which I shall hereafter make, I light on a single woman -really and constantly virtuous."----"What will you do?" interrupted -Mirzoza smartly. - -"I will declare to the world, if you require it, that I am charmed with -your reasoning on the possibility of virtuous women; I will support the -reputation of your logic with all my might; and will give you my castle -of Amara, with all the Saxon Porcelaines which adorn it; even without -excepting the little Sapajou, or red-faced monkey in Enamel, and the -other valuable nick-nacks, which I had out of the cabinet of Madame de -Verue." - -"Prince," says Mirzoza, "I will be content with the Porcelaines of the -castle, and the little monkey." - -"A bargain," replies the Sultan, "Selim shall be our judge. I only -desire a little respite before I examine Egle's Toy. The court air, -and her husband's jealousy, must be allowed time to operate." - -Mirzoza granted a month to Mangogul; which was double the time he -required: and they parted equally filled with hope. - -The city of Banza also would have been full of wagers on either side, -if the Sultan's promise had been divulged. But Selim kept the secret, -and Mangogul clandestinely prepared for winning or losing. As he was -quitting the favorite's appartment, he heard her call out to him from -her closet: "Prince, and the little monkey." "And the little monkey," -answered Mangogul, and went out. He was going directly to the private -lodge of a senator, whither we will attend him. - - - - -CHAP. XXXII. - -_The fifteenth trial of the Ring._ - -Alphana. - - -The Sultan was not ignorant, that the young lords of the court had -private lodges; but he was lately informed, that those retreats were -likewise used by some senators. He was much surprized at this. "What -do they do there?" said he to himself. (For in this volume he will -keep up the custom of monology, which he contracted in the first.) "I -should think, that a man, whom I have entrusted with the tranquillity, -fortune, liberty, and lives of my people, ought not to have a private -lodge. But perhaps a senator's private lodge is quite different from -that of a _Petit-Maitre_. Can a magistrate, before whom the interests -of the greatest of my subjects are discussed, who holds the fatal urn, -out of which he is to draw the widow's lot, can he, I say, forget -the dignity of his state, and the importance of his duty; and while -Cochin fatigues his lungs in vain by carrying the cries of the orphan -to his ear, can he be studying subjects of gallantry, which are to be -ornaments over the door of a place of secret debauchery? That cannot -be.----However, let us see." - -He said, and departed for Alcanto, where the senator Hippomanes has his -private lodge. He enters, walks round the appartments, and examines -the furniture. Every thing has a gay appearance. The private lodge of -Agefilas, the nicest and most voluptuous of his courtiers, is not more -elegant. He was on the point of resolving to leave it, without knowing -what to think; (for besides all the rich beds, the looking-glass -alcoves, the soft sofa's; the cabinet of exquisite liquors, and every -thing else, were silent witnesses of what he desired to know:) when -he espied a corpulent figure stretched on a couch, and sunk in a deep -sleep. He turn'd his ring on her, and from her Toy he obtained the -following anecdotes. - -"Alphana is the daughter of a senator. If her mother's life had been -shorter than it was, I should not have been here. The immense wealth -of the family was squandered by the old fool: and she left little or -nothing to her four children, three boys and a girl, whose Toy I am, -alas! to my great misfortune, and to be sure for my sins. How many -indignities have I suffered! How many more still remain to be borne! -The world said, that the cloister agreed very well with the fortune and -figure of my mistress; but I found it did not suit with me: I preferred -the military art to the monastic state, and I made my first campaigns -under the Emir Azalaph. I perfected myself under the great Nangazaki. -But the ingratitude of the service disgusted me, and made me quit the -sword for the gown. Thus I am upon the point of belonging to a little -scoundrel of a senator, quite bloated with his talents, his wit, his -figure, his equipage, and his birth. I am now two hours in waiting for -him. To be sure he will come, because his gentleman has apprized me, -that when he comes, it is his madness to let people wait a long time." - -Alphana's Toy was thus far advanced, when Hippomanes arrived. At the -bustle of his train, and the caresses he bestowed on his favorite -grey-hound, Alphana awoke. "Oh! are you there, my queen?" says the -little president. "'Tis very difficult to come at you. How do you like -my little lodge; it is as good as some others, is it not?" - -Alphana putting on a bashful, shy, distressed air, "as if we had never -seen a private lodge before," says her Toy, "and as if I had no share -in her adventures," cried out in a mournful manner. "My lord president, -I take an unaccountable step for you. The passion that drags me to you -must surely be very violent, since it shuts my eyes to the dangers -which I incur. For what would the world say, if there was any suspicion -of my being here?" - -"You are right," answered Hippomanes; "your proceeding is liable to -misinterpretations. But you may rely on my discretion." - -"But," replied Alphana, "I rely also on your conduct." - -"Oh! as to that," says Hippomanes, "I shall be very modest: and how -is it possible not to be as devote as an angel in a private lodge? In -truth, you have a charming neck----" - -"Ha' done," says Alphana, "you break your word already." - -"Not at all," replies the president: "but you have not answered my -question. What do you think of this furniture?" And then turning to his -grey-hound, "come hither, Folly, give me thy paw, my child. Folly is a -good girl.----Will madam be pleased to take a turn in the garden? Let -us walk on my terrass, it is a charming one. I am overlooked by some -of my neighbours, but possibly they will not know you.--" - -"My lord president, I am not curious," says Alphana with an air of -dudgeon. "I think we are better here." - -"Just as you please," answers Hippomanes. "If you are tired, there is a -bed. If you have the least inclination, I advise you to try it. Young -Asteria, and little Phenice, who are great judges, assure me that it -is a good one." While Hippomanes was talking thus impertinently to -Alphana, he pull'd off her gown by the sleeves, unlaced her stays, -untied her petticoats, and disengaged her two clumsy feet from two -little slippers. - -When Alphana was almost naked, then did she perceive that Hippomanes -was undressing her.--"What are you doing?" cryed she quite surprized. -"President, you don't consider. I shall be angry in earnest." - -"Ah, my queen," answered Hippomanes, "to be angry with a man who loves -you as I do, would be such an oddity as you are not capable of. May I -presume to entreat you to walk to this bed?" - -"To this bed," replied Alphana. "Ah! my lord president, you abuse my -tenderness. I to go into a bed! I, into a bed!" - -"No, no, my queen," answered Hippomanes. "That is not the thing, who -desires you to go to it. But you must, if you please, suffer yourself -to be conducted to it: for you may easily conclude from your size, -that I cannot be in the humor of carrying you to it."--Nevertheless he -grasped her about the waist, and making some efforts, "Oh how weighty -she is," says he. "But, my child, if you do not lend a helping hand, -we shall never reach it." - -Alphana was sensible that he spoke truth, lent her assistance, -compassed getting on her legs, advanced towards that bed, at which she -had been so scared, partly on her own feet, and partly on the shoulders -of Hippomanes, to whom she pantingly said: "Surely I must have been -a great fool to come hither. I confided in your good conduct, and -your extravagance is quite unreasonable."--"Not at all," answered the -president, "not at all. You see that what I do is decent, very decent." - -'Tis probable that they said many other genteel things of this sort; -but as the Sultan did not think proper to spend more time in attending -their conversation, those things are lost to posterity. What a pity! - - - - -CHAP. XXXIII. - -_Sixteenth trial of the Ring._ - -The _Petits-Maitres._ - - -Twice a week the favorite kept a drawing room. The preceding evening -she named the women whom she would willingly see, and the Sultan -gave the list of the men. The company always came richly dress'd. -The conversation was either general, or particular. When the amorous -history of the court fail'd of furnishing real diverting adventures, -stories were invented, and necessity sometimes compelled them to -run into bad tales; which were called a continuation of the Arabian -nights entertainments. The men had the privilege of saying all the -extravagant things that came into their heads, and the women that of -knotting, while they gave ear to them. At these meetings, the Sultan -and his favorite put themselves on a level with their subjects: their -presence gave no sort of check to whatever could amuse; and people -seldom found the time tedious. Mangogul had learned early in his life, -that pleasures are not to be found above the foot of the throne; and no -man descended from it with better grace, or knew how to put off majesty -more _à propos_. - -While he was surveying the private lodge of the Senator Hippomanes, -Mirzoza waited for him in the rose-colour'd salon, with the youthful -Zaide, the chearful Leocris, the lively Serica, Amina and Benzaira, -the wives of two Emirs, Orphisa the prude, and Vetula the great -Seneschal's lady, temporal mother of all the Bramins. It was not -long before he appeared. He enter'd attended by count Hannetillon -and the chevalier Fadaes. Alciphenor an old rake, and his disciple -young Marmolin followed him; and two minutes after, arrived the Pacha -Grifgrif, the Aga Fortimbek, and the Selictar Velvet-Paw. These were -the most absolute _Petits-Maitres_ of the court. Mangogul call'd them -together designedly. Having heard a thousand stories of their gallant -exploits, he resolved to be informed in such a manner as might banish -all future doubt. "Well, gentlemen," says he to them, "ye whom nothing -escapes, that passes in the empire of gallantry, what news from thence? -how far are the Speaking Toys got." - -"Sir," replied Alciphenor, "the racket they make encreases daily; and -if it continues, we shall soon not be able to hear ourselves. But -nothing is so diverting as the indiscretion of Zobeida's Toy. It has -given her husband a catalogue of her adventures." "And a prodigious -one," says Marmolin: "it mentions five aga's, twenty captains, almost -an entire company of janissaries, twelve Bramins: and they say that I -am named too, but that is a mere joke." "The best past of the affair -is," added Grifgrif, "that the affrighted husband ran away with his -fingers in his ears." - -"This is quite horrible," said Mirzoza. "Yes, madam," interrupted -Fortimbek, "horrible, frightful, execrable." "More than all that, if -you please," replied the favorite, "to dishonor a woman upon hearsay." - -"Madam, it is literally true, Marmolin has not added one word to the -story," says Velvet-Paw. "It is fact," says Grifgrif. "Good," says -Hannetillon, "there is an epigram already handed about concerning it, -and an epigram is not made for nothing." "But why should Marmolin -be safe from the prattle of the Toys? Cynara's Toy has insisted -on speaking in its turn, and to blend me with people, who do not -stake their all. But how to help that? The right thing is not, to -be disturbed at it," says Velvet-Paw. "You are right," answered -Hannetillon, and instantly fell to singing: - - "Mon bonheur fut si grand, que j'ai peine à le croire." - - My fortune was so great, that I can scarce believe it. - -"Count," says Mangogul to Hannetillon, "then you have been particularly -acquainted with Cynara?" - -"Sir," answered Velvet-Paw, "who doubts, it? He has walk'd with her -for more moons than one? they have been song'd; and all this would -have lasted to this day, if he had not at length discovered that she -was not handsome, and that she had a large mouth." "Allowed," replied -Hannetillon; "but that imperfection was ballanced by an uncommon -agreeableness." - -"How long since this adventure?" ask'd the prude Orphisa. "Madam," -replied Hannetillon, "its epoch is not present to my memory. I must -have recourse to the chronological tables of my good fortune. There -may be seen the day and minute: but 'tis a large volume, with which my -servants amuse themselves in the antichamber." - -"Hold," says Alciphenor; "I recollect that it was precisely a year -after Grifgrif fell out with Madam la Seneschale. She has the memory -of an angel, and can tell you exactly."--"That nothing is more false -than your date," answered the Seneschal's lady gravely. "'Tis well -known that blockheads were never of my taste." "Yet, madam," replied -Alciphenor, "you will never persuade us, that Marmolin was excessively -wise, when he was conducted into your appartment by the back stairs, -whenever his highness summoned the Seneschal to council." "There can -be no greater extravagance in my opinion," added Velvet-Paw, "than to -enter into a woman's chamber by stealth, for nothing at all; for people -thought nothing more of his visits than what was really fact, and madam -was already in full enjoyment of that reputation of virtue, which she -has so well supported since that time." - -"But that is an age ago," says Fadaes. "It was pretty much about that -same time that Zulica made a slip from the Selictar, who was her -humble servant, to take possession of Grifgrif, whom she drop'd six -months after; she is now got as far as Fortimbek. I am not sorry for -my friend's little stroke of good luck; I see her, I admire her, but -entirely without any pretensions." - -"Yet Zulica," says the favorite, "is very amiable. She has wit, taste, -and something, I know not how, engaging in her countenance, which I -should prefer to charms." "I grant that, madam," answer'd Fadaes: "but -she is maigre, has no neck, and her thigh is so skinny, that it raises -one's pity." - -"You are well acquainted with it, to be sure," added the Sultana. "Oh! -madam," replied Hannetillon, "you may guess that. I have visited Zulica -but seldom, and yet I know as much of that affair as Fadaes." "I can -easily believe you," says the favorite. - -"But _à propos_, might one ask Grifgrif," says the Selictar, "if he -has been long in possession of Zirphila. There is what you may call a -pretty woman. She has an admirable shape." "And who doubts it!" added -Marmolin. - -"How happy is the Selictar," continued Fadaes. "I give you Fadaes," -interrupted the Selictar, "for the best provided gallant of the court. -To my knowledge he has the Visir's wife, the two prettiest actresses -of the opera, and an adorable _Grisette_, whom he keeps in his private -lodge." "And I," replied Fadaes, "would give up the Visir's wife, -the two actresses and the _Grisette_, for one glance from a certain -woman, with whom the Selictar is very well, and who has not the least -suspicion that the world knows it;" and then stepping up to Leocris, -says, "your blushes are ravishing.----" - -"Hannetillon was a long time wavering," says Marmolin, "between Melissa -and Fatima, two charming women. One day he was for Melissa the fair, -the next for Fatima the nut-brown." "The poor man," continues Fadaes, -"was strangely embarassed: why did he not take them both?" "So he did," -says Alciphenor. - -Our _Petits-Maitres_ were, as you see, in a right cue not to stop -here, when Zobeida, Cynara, Zulica, Melissa, Fatima and Zirphila sent -in their names. This ill-timed circumstance disconcerted them for a -moment; but they soon recover'd from their ruffle, and fell on other -women, whom their detraction had hitherto spared, only because they had -not time to tear them to pieces. - -Mirzoza, quite out of patience at their discourses, said: "Gentlemen, -considering the merit and probity in particular, which must needs be -allowed ye, it cannot be doubted but that you have enjoyed all the good -fortunes of which you boast. I must own nevertheless, that I would be -very glad to hear the Toys of these ladies on this head; and that I -would most heartily thank Brama, if he would deign to render justice to -truth by their mouths." - -"That is to say," replies Hannetillon, "that madam would desire to hear -the same things twice over: well, to oblige her, we'll repeat them." - -But Mangogul set about applying his ring in order of seniority: he -began by Madame la Seneschale, whose Toy cough'd three times, and -with a trembling and broken voice said: "To the great Seneschal I am -indebted for the first fruits of my pleasures: but I had not been his -property above six months, when a young Bramin gave my mistress to -understand, that a woman can do no injury to her husband, while she -thinks on him. I relished the moral, and thenceforward thought I might -with a safe conscience admit a senator, then a privy counsellor, then a -pontif, then one or two masters of Requests, then a musician"----"And -Marmolin?" says Fadaes.----"Marmolin," replies the Toy, "I know him -not, unless it be that young coxcomb, whom my lady ordered to be kick'd -out of her house, for some insolence, the particulars of which I have -forgot.----" - -Cynara's Toy took up the discourse, and said: "Do you interrogate me -concerning Alciphenor, Fadaes, and Grifgrif? I have indeed been pretty -well served; but this is the first time that I ever heard these folks -named. However, I shall get some account of them from Amalek the Emir, -Telenor the Financier, or the Visir Abdiram, who know the whole world, -and are my good friends." - -"Cynara's Toy is discreet," says Hannetillon: "it mentions not Zarafis, -Ahiram, the old Trebister, and the young Mahmoud, who is not made to -be forgotten; nor does it accuse the least Bramin, tho' it has been -running thro' the monasteries these twelve years." - -"I have received some visits in my life," says Melissa's Toy, "but not -one from Grifgrif or Fortimbek, and much less still from Hannetillon." - -"My little heart of a Toy," replied Grifgrif, "you are mistaken. You -may disclaim Fortimbek and me, but as to Hannetillon, he is better with -you than you allow. He has told me a word or two on the subject, and -he is a spark of the greatest veracity in Congo, a better man than any -of those whom you have known, and is still capable of establishing the -reputation of a Toy." - -"The reputation of an impostor can no more escape him than his friend -Fadaes," says Fatima's Toy with a sob. "What have I done to these -monsters to dishonour me? The son of the Abyssinian Emperor came to -Erguebzed's court: I pleased him; he pursued me; but he would have -fail'd of success, and I should have continued faithful to my husband -whom I loved; had not the traitor Velvet-Paw and his base accomplice -Fadaes corrupted my women, and introduced the young prince into my -bath." - -The Toys of Zirphila and Zulica, who had the same cause to defend, -spoke both at the same time, but with such rapidity, that it was -extremely difficult to render each of them its due.--"Favors!" cried -one----"To Velvet-Paw!" says the other----"Something may be said for -Zinzim"----"Cerbelon"----"Bemengel"----"Agarias"----"the French slave -Riqueli"----"the young Ethiopian Thezaca"----"But as for the insipid -Velvet-Paw"----"the insolent Fadaes"----"I swear by Brama"----"I call -the great Pagoda and the Genius Cucufa to witness"----"I know them -not"----"I never had the least dealings with them.----" - -Zirphila and Zulica would have run on, God knows how far, if Mangogul -had not turn'd off his ring: but as this magic ring ceased acting on -them, their Toys closed their lips, and a profound silence succeeded -the noise they made. Then the Sultan rose up, and darting furious looks -on our young blockheads, said: "You have taken the liberty to defame -women whom you never had the honour of coming near, and who hardly know -your names. Who has made ye insolent enough to lie in my presence? -Tremble, wretches." At these words he grasped his cymeter: but the -screams of the affrighted ladies stop'd his hand. "I was going," says -Mangogul, "to give ye the death which you have merited: but the ladies, -whom you have injured, have a right to determine your fate: it shall -depend on them, either to crush ye, or to let ye live. Speak, ladies, -what are your commands?" - -"That they live," says Mirzoza, "and hold their tongues, if possible." - -"Live," replies the Sultan, "these ladies permit it: but if ever you -forget on what condition, I swear by my father's soul----" - -Mangogul did not complete his oath; being interrupted by one of the -gentlemen of his bed-chamber, who inform'd him that the comedians were -ready. This prince had imposed it on himself as a law never to retard -the public diversions. "Let them begin," says he, and immediately gave -his hand to the favorite, whom he accompanied to her box. - - - - -CHAP. XXXIV. - -_Seventeenth trial of the Ring._ - -The Comedy. - - -Had the taste of good declamation been known in Congo, there were some -comedians who might well be spared. Of thirty persons which composed -the band, there was but one great actor, and two tolerable actresses. -The genius of authors was obliged to comply with the mediocrity of the -greatest number; and there was no room to hope, that a play would be -performed with any tolerable success, without taking care to model the -characters on the defects of the comedians. This is what was meant in -my time by the custom of the stage. Formerly the actors were made for -the pieces; but now the pieces were made for the actors. If you offer'd -a new play, to be sure it underwent an examination, to know whether -the subject was engaging, the intrigue well connected, the characters -supported, and the diction pure and flowing: but if there were no parts -for Roscius and Amiana, it was refused. - -The Kislar Agasi, superintendant of the Sultan's pleasures, had packed -a company of players together, as he could find them; and this was the -first representation of a new tragedy at the Seraglio. It was composed -by a modern author, who had gain'd such reputation, that tho' his piece -had been but a string of impertinences, it would assuredly have met -with a favorable reception. But he did not debase his character. His -work was well written, his scenes conducted with art, his incidents -managed with dexterity, the interest went on increasing, and the -passions in being developed. The acts, naturally link'd together, and -full, constantly held the audience in suspence with regard to the -sequel, and satisfied with what was past: and they were got to the -fourth act of this master-piece, to a very moving scene, which was -a preparation to another still more interesting; when Mangogul, in -order to save himself from the ridicule of listening to the tender -parts, pull'd out his glass, and acting the inattentive, surveyed the -several boxes. In the front box he observed a woman in great emotion, -but of an ill-timed sort, as having no relation to the piece. His -ring was instantly levelled at her, and in the midst of most pathetic -commendations, a Toy, panting for breath, was heard addressing the -player in these terms: - -"Ah!----Ah!----Pray stop, Orgogli;----you melt me -excessively----Ah!----Ah!----There's no bearing it.----" - -The audience listened, and look'd towards the place whence the voice -proceeded: and the word ran thro' the pit, that it was a Toy that -made the speech. "Which Toy," says one, "and what has it said?" And -without waiting for an answer, there was a general clap and cry: -_Encore, encore_. The author, who was behind the scenes, fearing that -this unlucky accident might interrupt the representation of his piece, -foamed with rage, and gave the whole race of Toys to Belzebub. The -noise was great and lasting; and had it not been for the respect due -to the Sultan, the play would have stop'd short at this incident: but -Mangogul made a sign for silence; the actors resumed their parts, and -went thro' the play. - -The Sultan, curious to know the consequences of so public a -declaration, caused the Toy that made it, to be observed. Word was soon -brought him, that the player was to go from the stage to Eriphila's -house. He prevented him, thanks to the power of his ring, and was in -this lady's appartment when Orgogli sent in his name. - -Eriphila was under arms, that is, in an amorous _deshabillé_, and -wantonly stretch'd on a couch. The comedian entered with a solemn, -haughty, insipid air of a conqueror. With the left hand he waved a -plain hat with a white feather in it, and caressed his nostrils and -upper lip with the tops of the fingers of his right hand, a very -theatrical gesture, which was admired by Connoisseurs. His bow was -cavalier, and his compliment familiar. "Oh! my queen," cried he, in an -affected tone, stooping to Eriphila, "what a trim you are in! But do -you know that in that careless garb you are adorable.----" - -The tone of this scoundrel shock'd Mangogul. The prince was young, -and might possibly be ignorant of certain customs----"Then you like -me, my dear," answered Eriphila. "To ravishment, I tell you."--"That -gives me great joy. I wish you would repeat that passage which raised -such emotions in me a while ago. That passage----there----yes----it is -that same----How seducing a rogue he is?----But go on; that moves me -strangely." - -In pronouncing these words, Eriphila darted such glances on her hero, -as bespoke every thing, and stretch'd out her hand to him, which the -impertinent Orgogli kissed by way of acquittance. Prouder of his talent -than of his conquest, he declaimed with emphasis, and the lady was so -enraptur'd, that one minute she conjur'd him to continue, and the next -to stop. Mangogul judging by her looks, that her Toy would willingly -play its part in this rehearsal, chose rather to guess at the rest of -the scene, than to be present at it. He disappear'd, and return'd to -the favorite, who expected him. - -On the recital which the Sultan made her of this adventure,----"Prince, -what do you say?" cried she. "Then the women are fallen into the lowest -degree of meanness! A comedian, the slave of the public! A buffoon! -Well, if those folks had nothing against them but their state of life: -but most of them have neither morals nor sentiments; and even among -them, that Orgogli is but a machine. He has never thought, and if -he had not learn'd some parts in plays, perhaps he would never have -spoken.----" - -"Delight of my heart," replied Mangogul, "you run into lamentations -without considering the matter sufficiently. Then have you forgot -Haria's pack? By Jove, a comedian, I think, is as good as a pug-dog." - -"You say right, prince," resumed the favorite. "I am a fool for -interesting myself for creatures that do not deserve it. Let Palabria -idolize her boobies! Let Salica have her vapors treated by Farfadi -in her own way! Let Haria live and dye among her dogs! Let Eriphila -abandon herself to all the buffoons of Congo! What is all this to me? -I only risque a castle thereby. Nay, I perceive that I must have no -thoughts of it, and I have taken my resolution accordingly." - -"Farewell then the little monkey," says Mangogul. - -"Farewell the little monkey," replies Mirzoza; "and the good opinion -which I had conceived of my sex; I believe I shall never resume it. -Prince, you will allow me not to suffer a women to enter these doors -this fortnight at least." - -"But you must have some company," added the Sultan. - -"I shall enjoy your company, or please myself in expecting it," replied -the favourite: "and if any moments remain on my hands, I shall dispose -of them in favor of Ricaric and Selim, who are attached to me, and -whose conversation I love. When I happen to be tired of the erudition -of my lecturer, your courtier will divert me with the adventures of his -youth." - - - - -CHAP. XXXV. - -_Conversation on literature._ - - -The favorite loved men of genius, without pretending to be a genius -herself. On her toilette, among jewels and other female ornaments, -the novels and pamphlets of the time were to be met with, and she -talk'd of them wonderfully well. From a Cavagnol and Biribi she passed -with ease and propriety to the course of an academician, or other -learned man: and every body confessed, that the natural delicacy of -her understanding made her discover beauties or defects in those -several works, which had sometimes escaped their lucubrations. Mirzoza -astonished them by her penetration, embarrassed them by her questions; -but never abused the advantages which her wit and beauty gave her: and -people were not sorry for being detected in the wrong by her. Towards -the close of an evening, which she had passed with Mangogul, Selim -came, and she sent for Ricaric. The African author has reserved Selim's -character for another place: but he informs us here, that Ricaric was -a member of the academy of Congo; that his erudition had not hindered -him from being a man of wit; that he had acquired a profound knowledge -of former ages; that he had a scrupulous attachment to the ancient -rules which he cited eternally; that he was a machine by principles; -and that it was impossible to be a more zealous partisan of the first -writers of Congo; but more especially of one Miroufla, who, about 3040 -years before, had composed a sublime poem in the Caffrian language, on -the conquest of a great forest, out of which the Caffres expelled the -monkeys, who were in possession of it from time immemorial. Ricaric -had translated it into Congese, and published a very beautiful edition -of it, illustrated with notes, Scholia, various readings, and all the -embellishments of a Benedictine edition. Besides, they had of him -two bad tragedies writ according to all the rules, a panegyric on -crocodiles, and some opera's. - -"I bring you, madam," says Ricaric with a low bow, "a novel, which is -ascribed to the marchioness Tamazi; but in which we unluckily discover -the hand of Mulhazen, the answer of our president Lambadago to the -discourse of the poet Tuxigraphus, which we received yesterday; and -the Tamerlan of this last." - -"This is admirable!" says Mangogul. "The press goes on incessantly; and -if the husbands of Congo performed their duty as well as the writers, -in less than ten years I might be enabled to set sixteen hundred -thousand men on foot, and promise myself the conquest of Monoémugi. We -will read the novel at leisure. Now let us see the harangue, especially -that part which relates to me." - -Ricaric turn'd it over, and light on this passage. "The ancestors of -our august emperor have rendered themselves illustrious without doubt. -But Mangogul, greater than they, has prepared quite different subjects -of admiration for future ages. What do I say of admiration? Let us -speak more accurately; of incredulity. If our ancestors had cause to -assert, that posterity would esteem as fables the wonders of Kanaglou's -reign; how much more reason have we to think, that our descendants will -refuse credit to the prodigies of wisdom and valor, of which we are -witnesses?" - -"My poor Mr. Lambadago," says the Sultan, "you are but retailer of -phrases. What I have reason to believe, is that your successors will -one day eclipse my glory by that of my son, as you make my father's -vanish before mine; and so on, as long as there will be one academician -left. What think you, Mr. Ricaric?" - -"Prince, all that I can say," answered Ricaric, "is, that the passage -which I have read to your highness, was extremely relished by the -public." - -"So much the worse," replied Mangogul. "Then the true taste of -eloquence is lost in Congo? It was not thus that the sublime Homilogo -praised the great Aben." - -"Prince," said Ricaric, "true eloquence is nothing but the art of -speaking in a noble, and at the same time agreeable and perswasive -manner." - -"Add, and sensible," continued the Sultan, "and upon this principle -judge your friend Lambadago. With all the respect that I have for -modern eloquence, he is but a false declaimer." - -"But, prince," answered Ricaric, "without passing the bounds of that, -which I owe your highness, will you permit me----" - -"What I give you full permission to do," replied Mangogul smartly, "is -to respect good sense beyond my highness, and to tell me sincerely, if -an eloquent man can ever dispense himself from shewing some signs of -it." - -"No, prince," answered Ricaric, and he was going to string up a long -bead-roll of authorities, and cite all the rhetoricians of Afric, the -two Arabia's, and China, in order to prove the most incontestable thing -in the world, when he was interrupted by Selim. - -"All your authors," said the courtier, "will never prove that Lambadago -is not a very awkward and indecent haranguer. Pray, Mr. Ricaric, excuse -these expressions. I honour you in a singular manner; but indeed, -laying aside the prejudice of confraternity, can you avoid allowing -with us, that, as the Sultan now reigning is just, amiable, beneficent, -and a great warrior, he does not stand in need of the embroidery of -your rhetoricians, to be as great as his ancestors; and that a son, who -is exalted by depressing his father and grandfather, would be very -ridiculously vain, if he were not sensible, that in embellishing him -with one hand, he is disfigured by the other. In order to prove that -Mangogul is as well-made a man as any of his predecessors, do you think -it necessary to knock off the heads of the statues of Erguebzed and -Kanaglou?" - -"Mr. Ricaric," says Mirzoza, "Selim is in the right. Let every one -enjoy what belongs to him, and let us not make the public suspect, that -our panegyrics are a sort of robberies committed on the memory of our -fathers: declare this from me in the next full meeting of the academy." - -"People are too long in possession of this custom," replied Selim, "to -expect any benefit from this advice." - -"I believe, Sir, that you are mistaken," said Ricaric to Selim. "The -academy is still the sanctuary of good taste; and its best times do -not afford us either philosophers or poets, whom we cannot match at -this day. Our stage has passed, and may still pass for the first stage -of Africa. Oh! what a work is the Tamerlane of Tuxigraphus! 'Tis the -pathetic of Eurisope, and the loftiness of Azopha. 'Tis antiquity quite -pure." - -"I saw," said the favorite, "the first representation of Tamerlane; -and join with you in thinking the work well conducted, the dialogue -elegant, and the propriety of characters well observed." - -"What difference, madam," interrupted Ricaric, "between such an author -as Tuxigraphus, fatted with the perusal of the ancients, and most part -of our moderns." - -"Yet these moderns," said Selim, "whom you demolish here at your ease, -are not so contemptible as you pretend. What, don't you find genius, -invention, fire, details, characters, and fine strokes of wit in them? -And of what importance are rules to me, provided a writer pleases me? -Certainly it is neither the observations of the wise Almudir and the -learned Abaldok, nor the art of poetry of the deep-read Facardin, which -I have never perused, that makes me admire the pieces of Aboulcazem, -Muhardar, Albaboukre, and many other Sarracens! Is there any other rule -but the imitation of nature; and have we not as good eyes as those who -studied her?" - -"Nature," answered Ricaric, "presents us with different faces every -instant. They are all true, but all are not equally beautiful. It is -in these works, on which you seem not to set any great value, that we -should learn to choose. They are collections of their own experiments, -and also of those which had been made before them. Whatever -strength of understanding a person may have, things must be observed -successively; and one man cannot hope to see in the short course of -his life, all that had been discovered to his time. Otherwise we may -assert, that any one science might owe its birth, progress, and utmost -perfection to one head: which is contrary to experience." - -"Mr. Ricaric," replied Selim, "the only consequence that I can draw -from your argument is, that as the moderns are in possession of -treasures amassed up to their times, they must be richer than the -ancients; or, if this comparison displeases you, that as they are -raised on the shoulders of those giants, they ought to see farther than -them. And in fact, what is their natural philosophy, their astronomy, -their navigation, their mechanics, their calculations, in comparison -of ours? And why may not our eloquence and poesy have the superiority -likewise?" - -"Selim," said the Sultana, "Ricaric will, at some proper time, give you -the reasons of this difference. He will tell you why our tragedy is -inferior to that of the ancients: for my part, I willingly undertake -to shew you, that it is so. I will not accuse you," continued she, "of -not having read the ancients. Your mind is too well adorned, to be -ignorant of their stage. Now, abstracting from certain notions relative -to their customs, manners and religion, which shock you purely because -circumstances are changed; you will allow that their subjects are -noble, well-chosen, and interesting; that the action naturally develops -itself; that their dialogue is simple, and very near nature; that the -unravelling of their plot is not strained; that the interest is not -divided, nor the action overloaded with episodes. Transport yourself in -idea to the isle of Alindala; examine every thing that passes there; -attend to all that is said, from the moment that young Ibrahim and -the crafty Forfanti landed thereon: approach the cave of the wretched -Polipsile; lose not a word of her complaints; and then tell me, if any -one circumstance draws you out of the illusion. Name me a modern piece -that can bear the same examination, and pretend to the same degree of -perfection; and I grant you the victory." - -"By Brama," cried the Sultan, yawning, "madam has made an academical -dissertation." - -"I do not understand the rules," continued the favorite; "and much -less the learned words, in which they are expressed: but I know that -nothing but the _True_ can please and touch. I also know that the -perfection of a dramatic piece consists in the exact imitation of an -action, so that the spectator, continually deceived, imagines he is -present at the very action. Now, pray, is there any thing like this in -the tragedies which you extol to us? - -"Do you admire the manner in which they are conducted? It is generally -so complicated, that it must be a miracle, that so many things should -happen in so little time. The ruin or preservation of an empire, the -marriage of a princess, the loss of a prince; all this is done with -the turn of a hand. Is the subject a conspiracy? It is sketch'd out -in the first act; it is connected and strengthened in the second; all -the measures are taken, the obstacles removed, the conspirators are -quite ready for action in the third; immediately there shall be a -revolt, an engagement, perhaps a pitch'd battle; and you will call this -conduct, interest, fire, verisimilitude: I can never excuse it, in you -especially, who are not ignorant, what it sometimes costs to put an end -to a pitiful intrigue; and how much time the smallest political affair -absorbs in taking measures, in previous meetings, and in deliberations." - -"I grant, madam," answered Selim, "that our pieces are a little -overcharged; but it is a necessary evil: without the assistance of -episodes, the audience would be chill'd." - -"That is to say, that in order to give spirit to the representation of -a fact, it must be made such as it neither is, nor ought to be. This -is ridiculous in the highest degree; unless it be still more absurd -to make the violins play up rigadoons and country-dances, while the -audience are in deep concern for a prince, who is on the point of -losing his mistress, his throne and his life." - -"Madam, you are are in the right," said Mangogul: "the music should be -mournful on those occasions; and I go to order you some of that kind." -Mangogul rose up, went out, and the conversation was continued between -Selim, Ricaric, and the favorite. - -"At least, madam," replied Selim, "you will not deny, that if the -episodes draw us out of the illusion, the dialogue leads us back into -it. I see none who understand it like our tragic writers." - -"Then, nobody understands it," resumed Mirzoza. "The emphasis, wit and -affected decorations, which predominate in it, are a thousand leagues -distant from nature. In vain does the author endeavour to conceal -himself, my eyes are penetrating and I discover him incessantly behind -the persons of the drama. Cinna, Sertorius, Maximus, and Æmilius, are -Corneille's speaking trumpets in almost every page. This is not the way -that people converse in our ancient Sarracen authors. Ricaric will, if -you desire it, translate you some scenes out of them; and then you will -hear pure nature speaking by their mouths. I could willingly say to the -moderns: 'Gentlemen, instead of dealing out wit to your personages on -every occasion, put them into such circumstances as must inspire them -with some.'" - -"After what madam has declared on the management and the dialogue of -our drama's; there is no great probability," says Selim; "that she -will shew indulgence to the plots." - -"No certainly," replied the favorite: "there are a hundred bad for one -good. This is not brought on properly, that is quite miraculous. Is -an author encumbered with a personage, which he has drag'd from scene -to scene thro' five acts, he dispatches him with a stab of a ponyard: -every body falls to crying, and I burst into laughter. Besides, did -mortals ever speak as we declaim? Do kings and princes walk otherwise -than a well-bred man? Have they ever gesticulated like persons -possessed or raging mad? Do princesses speak in a shrill squeaking -tone? It is generally supposed that we have carried tragedy to a -high degree of perfection; and I on the contrary think it is next to -demonstration, that of all the kinds of literary works, to which the -Africans have applied themselves in these latter ages, this is the -most imperfect." - -The favorite was advanced thus far in her sally against our theatrical -pieces, when Mangogul returned. "Madam," said he, "you will oblige me -in continuing. You see I have a secret to abridge a poetical subject, -when I find it tedious." - -"I suppose," continued the favorite, "a person just arrived from -Angola, who had never heard a play mentioned, but otherwise does not -want good sense and breeding, has some acquaintance with the courts of -princes, the intrigues of courtiers, the jealousies of ministers, and -the double dealings of women; to whom I say in confidence 'My friend, -there are terrible commotions actually in the Seraglio. The prince, -dissatisfied with his son, in whom he suspects a passion for the -Manimonbanda, is a man capable of taking the most cruel vengeance of -them both. This adventure will, in all probability, be attended with -dismal consequences. If you choose it, I will make you an eye-witness -of all that passes.' He accepts my offer, and I carry him into a box -screen'd by a blind, from whence he sees the stage, which he takes for -the Sultan's palace, Do you believe, notwithstanding the serious air -I put on, that this person's illusion can last a moment? Will you not -rather agree with me, that the stiff-affected carriage of the actors, -the oddity of their dress, the extravagance of their gestures, the -emphasis of a singular language in rhyme and cadence, and a thousand -other shocking dissonances, must make him laugh in my face before the -first scene is over, and tell me either that I make game of him, or -that the prince and all his court are mad." - -"I own," said Selim, "that this supposition strikes me: but may I not -observe to you, that people go to the play-house, fully perswaded that -they are to see the imitation of an event, and not the event itself." - -"And ought that perswasion," replied Mirzoza, "to hinder the players -from representing the event in the most natural manner?" - -"All this means, madam," interrupted Mangogul, "that you put yourself -at the head of the censors." - -"And if your opinion be received," continued Selim, "the empire is -threatened with the decay of good taste; barbarism will revive, and we -are in danger of relapsing into the ignorance of the ages of Mamurrha -and Orondado." - -"My lord, pray have no such apprehensions. I hate peevish humors, and -will not add to their number. Besides, I have the glory of his highness -too much at heart, to think of ever attempting to tarnish the splendor -of his reign. But if credit were given to us, is it not true, Mr. -Ricaric, that literature would shine with greater lustre?" - -"How," said Mangogul, "have you not a memorial on this subject to -present to my Seneschal?" - -"No, sir," answered Ricaric; "but after having thanked your highness -in behalf of the Literati, for the new inspector, which you have given -them; I would most humbly remonstrate to your Seneschal, that the -choice of learned men appointed to revise manuscripts is an affair -of great nicety: that this trust is committed to persons, who seem -to me very much inferior to their employ; and from thence results a -crowd of evil effects, such as curtailing good works, cramping the -best genius's, who not being at liberty to write in their own way, -either write not at all, or send their productions with considerable -sums to foreigners; giving a bad opinion of those topicks which are -prohibited to be discussed, and a thousand other inconveniencies, -which it would be too tedious to mention to your highness. I would -advise him to retrench the pensions of certain literary leaches, who -are always craving unmercifully; I mean glossators, antiquaries, -commentators, and others of this stamp, who would be very useful, -if they did their business well; but who are got into the wretched -custom of passing over obscure places, and of dwelling upon passages -that admit of no difficulty. I would have him be very attentive to -suppress almost all posthumous works; and not to suffer the memory of -a great author to be tarnished by the covetousness of a bookseller, -who collects and publishes, a long time after a man's death, such -works as he had condemned to oblivion in his lifetime." "And I," -continued the favorite, "would point out to him a small number of men -of distinguished merit, such as Mr. Ricaric, on whom he may bestow -your benefactions. Is it not somewhat surprising, that the poor man -has no provision made for him, while the precious chiromancer of the -Manimonbanda receives a thousand sequins a year from your treasury." - -"Well, madam,", answered Mangogul, "I assign Mr. Ricaric the like sum -on my coffers, in consideration of the wonderful things you tell me of -him." - -"Mr. Ricaric," said the favorite, "I also must do something for you: -in your favor I sacrifice the small resentment of my self-love; and -in consideration of the recompence which Mangogul has granted to your -merit, I forget the injury he has done me." - -"Pray, madam, may I ask you what that injury is?" replied Mangogul. - -"You may, Sir, and I will tell you. You yourself make us embark in a -conversation on the _Belles-Lettres_: you begin by a piece of modern -eloquence, which is not extraordinary; and when, to oblige you, we -prepare to pursue the disagreeable argument which you have started, -you are seized with uneasiness and yawning, you teize yourself in your -seat, you change your posture a hundred times, without finding one -easy one: tired in fine of keeping your countenance, tho' a sad one, -you come to a sudden resolution, you get up and disappear: and then, -whither do you go? Perhaps to give ear to a Toy!" - -"I own the fact, madam, but I see nothing in it that should give -offence. If a man happens to be disgusted at fine things, and amuse -himself with hearing bad, so much the worse for him. This unjust -preference takes nothing from the merit of what he has quitted: he only -declares himself a bad judge. To this I could add, madam, that while -you were labouring hard at Selim's conversion, I was working with no -better success to procure you a castle. In fine, if I must be culpable, -since you have pronounc'd me so, I can assure you that you have had -your revenge at the very time." - -"Pray, how that?" said the favorite. "Thus it is," answered the Sultan. -"In order to refresh myself from the fatigue of the academical -sitting which I had undergone, I went to examine some Toys."----"Well, -prince"----"Well, I never heard such insipid creatures as the two -which I light upon."----"This gives me the highest joy," replied the -favorite.----They both fell to talking an unintelligible language. I -have perfectly well retained every thing they said; but let me die, if -I understand a word of it. - - - - -CHAP. XXXVI. - -_Eighteenth and nineteenth trials of the Ring._ - -The flatted Spheroïd, and Girgiro the entangled: catch who can. - - -"That is singular," continued the favorite. "Till this moment, I always -imagined, that the chief fault found with Toys, was their speaking too -plainly." "Oh! madam," replied Mangogul, "these two are not of that -tribe; understand them who can. - -"You know that little crumpling of woman, whose head is sunk into -her shoulders, whose arms are hardly to be seen, and whose legs are -so short, and her belly so lank, that one might mistake her for a -hedge-hog, for a clumsy ill-develop'd embryo, who bears the the -nick-name of the _flatted Spheroïd_; who has filled her head with a -notion that Brama called her to the study of geometry, because he has -given her the figure of a bowl; and who consequently might have chosen -the profession of artillery: for considering her make, she must have -issued out of nature's bosom, as a bullet out of the mouth of a cannon. - -"Willing to receive informations from her Toy, I examined it. But the -vorticose creature spoke in terms of such sublime geometry, that I -did not understand one word, nor perhaps did it understand its own -language. It was nothing but right lines, concave surfaces, given -quantities, longitude, latitude, profundity, solids, living forces, -dead forces, cone, cylinder, conic sections, curves, elastic curves, -curve re-entring into itself, with its point conjugated----" - -"I pray your highness to excuse me from the rest," cried the favorite -mournfully. "You have a cruel memory, enough to put one to death. It -has raised a swimming in my head, which I dare say I shall not get rid -of these eight days. But was the other so diverting?" - -"You shall be the judge," replied Mangogul. "By Brama's great toe, I -have performed a prodigy. I have retain'd its motly gibberish word for -word, tho' it be so thoroughly void of sense and perspicuity, that if -you give me a subtile and critical explanation of it, madam, you will -make me an acceptable present." - -"How have you said, prince?" cried Mirzoza. "Let me die, if you have -not stolen that phrase from somebody." - -"I can't tell how it has happened," replied Mangogul: "for these two -Toys are the only persons to whom I have given audience this day. The -last, on whom I turned my ring, after a moment's silence, said, as if -addressing an audience, - - "'Gentlemen, - - "'I shall take the liberty to avoid seeking, to the contempt of my - own reason, a model of thinking and expressing myself. But yet if I - advance any thing new, it shall not be affectation, but the subject - shall have furnished me with it: if I repeat what has been already - said, it will be my own thought, as well as it has been that of - others. Let not irony come to turn this preamble into ridicule, and - accuse me of either not having read, or of having read to no purpose. - A Toy like me is not made for reading, or profiting by its reading, or - foreseeing an objection, or answering it. - - "'I shall not debar myself of reflections and ornaments proportioned - to my subject; the rather because in this regard it is extremely - modest, and will not admit of any great quantity or brilliancy. But I - will avoid sinking into those little minute details, which fall to the - share of the barren orator. It would be cause of great grief to me to - be suspected of this defect. - - "'After having informed ye, gentlemen, of what you are to expect from - my discoveries and elocution, some few strokes of the pencil will be - sufficient, to sketch you out my character. - - "'You know, gentlemen, as well as I, that there are two sorts of Toys: - proud Toys and modest Toys. The former are haughty, and always expect - the place of honour. The latter affect to be courteous, and present - themselves with an air of submission. These two intentions appear - manifestly in the execution of their projects, and determine both - sorts to act according to the genius that guides them. - - "'I imagined, thro' attachment to the prejudices of my first - education, that I should open to myself a safer, easier, and more - agreeable career, if I preferr'd the part of humility to that of - pride; and I offered myself with infantile bashfulness and winning - supplications to all, whom I had the good fortune to meet. - - "'But oh! how unhappy are the times. After ten times more _buts_ and - _ifs_ and _ands_ than were sufficient to make the most unemployed - Toy lose all patience, my services were accepted. Alas! this job - was of short duration. My first possessor giving himself up to the - flattering glory of a new conquest, discarded me, and I found myself - all at once out of employment. - - "'My treasure was gone, and I did not flatter myself that fortune - would make me amends for it. In effect the vacant place was occupied, - but not filled by a Sexagenarian, to whom good will was less wanting - than the means. - - "'He laboured with all his might to make me forget my past state. He - had for me all that behavior, which is esteemed polite and engaging in - the career that I pursued: but his efforts did not conquer my regret. - - "'If industry, which is said never to fall short, made him find in - the treasures of the natural faculty some abatement to my grief; this - compensation to me appeared insufficient, in spite of my imagination, - which was daily on the rack to find new resemblances, and even to - suppose imaginary ones, but to no purpose. - - "'Such is the advantage of primacy, that it seizes the idea, and forms - a barrier against every thing that would afterwards present itself - under other forms: and such is, shall I say it, to our shame, the - ungrateful nature of Toys, that they never take the good-will for the - deed. - - "'This remark seems to me so natural, that, without being indebted to - any body for it, I cannot think that I am the only one who has made - it. But if any person before me has been struck with it; at least, - gentlemen I am the first who undertake, by demonstrating it, to set - its full value in a proper light. - - "'I am far from laying the least blame to the charge of those who have - raised their voice hitherto, for having let this stroke escape them; - my self-love being abundantly satisfied, to be able, after so great a - number of orators, to present my observation as something new.--'" - -"Ah! prince," cried Mirzoza smartly, "I fancy I hear the chiromancer -of the Manimonbanda. Apply to him, and you will have the subtile and -critical explanation, of which you would in vain expect the agreeable -present from any other person." - -The African author says, that Mangogul smiled, and continued. "But I -do not intend," says he, "to relate the rest of his discourse. If this -beginning has not given as much amusement as the first pages of _La Fée -Taupe_, the sequel would be more tiresome than the last pages of the -_Fée Moustache_." - - - - -CHAP. XXXVII. - -_Mirzoza's dream._ - - -By the time that Mangogul had finished the academical discourse of -Girgiro the entangled, night came on, and the company went to bed. - -That night the favorite might well flatter herself with sleeping -soundly: but the evening's conversation ran in her head while asleep: -and its ideas mixing with others, produced an odd dream, which she did -not fail relating to the Sultan, in these words. - -"I was in my first sleep, when I imagined that I was transported into -an immense gallery quite full of books. I shall say nothing of their -contents: they were to me at that time, what they are to many others, -who are not asleep. I did not so much as look at one title-page: a more -striking sight attracted my whole attention. - -"From space to space between the presses, that contain'd the books, -there were pedestals, on which were placed most beautiful busto's of -marble and Bronze. The injury of time had spared them; and some little -defects excepted, they were entire and perfect. That nobleness and -elegance which characterized the works of the ancients, were stamped -on them. Most of them had long beards, large foreheads like yours, and -engaging countenances. - -"I was anxious to learn their names, and know their merit, when a -woman came thro' the casement of a window, and accosted me. Her shape -was genteel, her gait majestic, and her carriage noble, sweetness -and loftiness were blended in her looks, and her voice had some -inexpressible charm that delighted. A helmet, a coat of mail, and a -flowing petticoat, made up all her attire. 'I know your anxiety,' said -she to me, 'and am going to satisfy your curiosity: the men whose -busto's have struck you, were my favorites. They consecrated their -studies to the perfection of the elegant arts, whereof the invention is -due to me. They lived in the most polite countries of the world, and -their writings, which were the delight of their contemporaries, are -the admiration of the present age. Draw near, and you will see carved -on the several pedestals in _Basso relievo_, some remarkable subjects, -which will at least point out to you the character of their writings.' - -"The first busto which I examined, was that of a majestic old man, who -seem'd to have been blind. In all probability he had sung of battles: -for such were the subjects on the sides of his pedestal. The front was -all taken up with a single figure, which was that of a young hero. His -hand grasped the handle of his cymeter, and a woman's arm appear'd -holding him back by the hair of the head, who seem'd to moderate his -wrath. - -"Opposite to this bust was placed that of a young man: he was the -picture of modesty. His looks were turned on the old man with uncommon -attention. He had also sung of wars and combats: but these were not the -only subjects that employed him: for of the _Basso relievo's_ which -surrounded him, the principal one represented on one side husbandmen -stooping on their ploughs, and tilling the ground; on the other, -shepheards stretched on the grass, and played on their flutes amidst -their herds and dogs. - -"The busto placed below the old man on the same side, had a wild look. -His eye seem'd to pursue some object that was flying from him: and -under him were represented a lyre carelessly thrown aside, scattered -laurels, broken chariots, and fiery horses running away in a vast plain. - -"Fronting this I saw a busto, which made so deep an impression on me, -that I fancy I see him still. He had a fine air, an aquiline pointed -nose, a steady look, and an arch smile. The _Basso relievo's_, which -adorned his pedestal, were so full of matter, that it would be an -endless task to undertake the description of them. - -"After examining some others, I began to ask some questions of my guide. - -"'Who is that,' said I, 'who bears truth on his lips, and probity on -his countenance.' 'He was,' replied she, 'the friend and victim to -both. He spent his life in improving his fellow citizens in knowledge -and virtue, and these ingrateful citizens put him to death.' - -"'And this busto placed below him?' 'Which? That which appears -supported by the graces carved on the sides of his pedestal?' 'The -same.'--'He is the disciple and inheriter of the sense and principles -of the unfortunate virtuous man above mentioned.' - -"'And this lusty jolly fellow, crowned, with vine branches and myrtle, -who is he?'--'A lovely philosopher, who made it his sole business to -sing and taste pleasure. He died in the arms of voluptuousness.' - -"'And this other blind man?'--'He is,' said she----But I waited not for -her answer. I imagined I was got among my acquaintance, and hurried to -a busto placed opposite to him. This was posed on a trophy of different -attributes of arts and sciences: Cupids sported among them on one of -the sides of the pedestal: on another was a group of the Genii of -politics, history, and philosophy. On the third, on one hand appear'd -two armies drawn up in battle-array; astonishment and horror dwelt on -every countenance, blended with marks of admiration and pity. These -passions were probably excited by an object, which was there express'd. -It was a young man expiring, and by his side an aged warrior, who -pointed his sword to his own breast. These figures were exquisitely -beautiful, and nothing could be more artfully touch'd than the despair -of the one, and the mortal languor spread throughout the limbs of the -other. I drew nearer, and under it I read this inscription in gold -letters: _Alas! this was his son._ - -"On the other hand was carved a furious Sultan, plunging a ponyard -into the breast of a young person, in sight of a multitude of people. -Some turn'd their heads aside, others melted in tears: and round this -relievo were these words engraved: _Is it you, Nerestan?_ - -"As I was passing to other busto's, a sudden noise made me look back. -It was made by a band of men cloath'd in long black gowns. Some carried -censers, which exhaled a gross vapor; others had garlands of flowers -in their hands, gather'd without choice, and disposed without taste. -They march'd up to the busto's, and offered incense to them, singing -hymns in two unknown languages. The smoak of their incense stuck to the -busto's, and the crowns of flowers put on them made a most ridiculous -sight. But the antiques soon resumed their beauty, and I saw the -crowns wither and fall shriveled on the ground. There arose a quarrel -amongst this set of barbarians, because some of them had not bent the -knee low enough in the opinion of others; and they were on the point -of coming to blows, when my guide dispersed them with one look, and -re-established tranquillity in her habitation. - -"Scarcely were they eclipsed, when I saw a long train of pigmies -entering by an opposite door. These little men were not two cubits -high, but in recompense they had very sharp teeth and very long -nails. They divided into several bands, and fell on the busto's. Some -endeavour'd to scratch the _basso relievo's_, and the floor was strewed -with the broken pieces of their nails. Others, with greater insolence, -mounted on one another's shoulders, to the highth of the heads, and -gave them raps with their fists. But what diverted me much, was that -these raps, instead of reaching the nose of the bust, rebounded on that -of the pigmy; in consequence of which, upon a close inspection, I found -most of them to be flat-nosed. - -"'You see,' says my guide, 'the impudence and chastisements of these -myrmidons. This war has lasted a long while, and always to their -disadvantage. I use them with less severity than the black gowns. The -incense of the latter might possibly disfigure the busto's; but the -efforts of the former generally end in augmenting their beauty. But as -you have not above an hour or two to remain here, I advise you to pass -to other objects.' - -"A great curtain opened that instant, and I saw a work shop occupied by -a different sort of pigmies. These had neither teeth nor nails; but in -return they were armed with razors and scissers. In their hands they -held heads, which seemed animated; and they were very busy with these -heads, in cutting off the hair of one, pulling off the nose and ears of -another; putting out the right eye of this, the left of that, and in -dissecting almost all of them. After this fine operation, they viewed -them attentively, and smiled, as if they thought them the prettiest -heads in the world. In vain did the heads send forth loud cries, they -scarcely deign'd to make them any answer. I heard one begging back its -nose, and remonstrating that it could not possibly appear in public -without that piece. 'My friend, head,' replied the pigmy, 'you are -a fool. That nose, which you regret, disfigured you. It was long, -long--You never would have made your fortune with it. But since it has -been curtail'd and pared, you are charming, and you will have many a -spark after you.' - -"While the fate of those heads moved my compassion, at a distance I saw -other more charitable pigmies, who were crawling on the ground with -spectacles on. They were picking up noses and ears, and fitting them to -some old heads, from which time had disengaged them. There were some -of them, but those were few in number, who succeeded: the rest fixed -the nose where the ear should be, and the ear where the nose: and this -rendered the heads more disfigured than before. - -"Being very desirous to know what all those things meant, I ask'd my -guide: and she had just open'd her lips, in order to give me an answer, -when I awoke in a fright." - -"That was cruel," says Mangogul: "this female would have revealed a -number of mysteries to you. But in her stead, I am of opinion that we -ought to address ourselves to my juggler Bloculocus." "Who?" replied -the favorite. "That silly fellow, to whom you have granted the sole -privilege of shewing the magic lanthorn in your court." "The same," -answered the Sultan. "He will interpret your dream, or no body can. -Let Bloculocus be called," says Mangogul. - - - - -CHAP. XXXVIII. - -_Twenty-first and twenty-second Trials of the Ring._ - -Fricamona and Callipiga. - - -The African author does not inform us what became of Mangogul, while he -waited for Bloculocus. 'Tis very probable that he went out, catechized -some Toys; and that satisfied with the intelligence he received from -them, he returned to the favorite, sending forth shouts of joy, which -begin this chapter. "Victory, victory!" cried he. "You triumph, madam; -the castle, the porcelains, and the little Sapajou are yours." - -"'Tis Egle, without doubt?" replied the favorite. "No, madam, no, 'tis -not Egle," interrupted the Sultan, "but another female." "Prince," -says the favorite, "envy me no longer the comfort of knowing this -Phoenix."----"Well, 'tis: who would have thought it?" "It is?" says -the favorite----"Fricamona," replies Mangogul.----"Fricamona!" says -Mirzoza: "I see no impossibility in that. This woman has spent the -greatest part of her youth in a convent; and since she left it, she has -led the most edifying and most retired life imaginable. No man has set -his foot within her doors, and she has, in some measure, made herself -the abbess of a troop of young devotees, whom she trains up to a state -of perfection, and of whom her house does not grow thin. There was -nothing there to answer your purpose," added the favorite, smiling and -nodding her head. - -"Madam, you are in the right," says Mangogul. "I have interrogated her -Toy, but no answer. I doubled the virtue of my ring, by rubbing it once -and again. Nothing came of it. 'To be sure,' said I to myself, 'this -Toy must be deaf:' and I was preparing to leave Fricamona on the couch -where I found her, when she began to speak, by the mouth I mean. - -"'Dear Acaris,' cried she, 'how happy am I in those moments, which I -snatch from every thing that employs me, to deliver myself up to thee. -After those which I pass in thy arms, these are the sweetest of my -life.----Nothing disturbs me; around me all is silence: my curtains -not quite closed, let in but just as much day as is necessary for -moving me to tenderness, and gazing on thee. I command my imagination: -it calls thee forth, and immediately I see thee. Dear Acaris, how -beautiful thou appear'st to me!----Yes, those are thy eyes, thy smile, -thy mouth. Hide not that growing bosom from me----Let me kiss it----I -have not sufficiently gazed on it.--Let me kiss it again. Ah! let me -die on it----What fury seizes me?----Acaris, dear Acaris, where art -thou?----Come then, dear Acaris. Ah! dear and tender friend, I swear -to thee, that unknown sentiments have taken possession of my soul. -It is filled with them, it is astonished at them, it is not able to -contain them.----Flow, delightful tears, flow, and ease the ardor which -devours me.----No, dear Acaris, no; that Alizali, whom thou prefer'st -to me, will not love thee as I do---But I hear a noise--Ah! 'tis Acaris -without doubt----Come, dear female friend, come----' - -"Fricamona was not deceived," continued Mangogul; "for it was Acaris -herself. I left them to entertain each other; and firmly perswaded that -Fricamona's Toy would persevere in its discretion, I hurried to let -you know that I have lost my wager." "But," replied the Sultana, "I am -quite in the dark with regard to this Fricamona. Either she must be -mad, or she is cruelly afflicted with vapors. No, prince, no, I have -more conscience than you may imagine. I have nothing to object to this -experiment: but yet I perceive somewhat in it, that hinders me from -reaping any advantage by it: and I am resolved to reap none. If ever I -accept your castle and porcelaines, it must be upon a better title." - -"Madam," answered Mangogul, "I do not comprehend you. You are -inconceivably difficult. Sure you have not well examined the little -Sapajou." - -"Prince, I have thoroughly viewed it," replied Mirzoza. "I know it is -a charming thing. But I suspect that this Fricamona is not the person -I seek. If you desire that I should enjoy it one day or other, apply -elsewhere." - -"Faith, madam," says Mangogul after mature consideration, "I see none -but Mirolo's mistress that can make you win the wager." - -"Ah! prince, you dream," answered the favorite. "I am not acquainted -with your Mirolo; but whosoever he be, since he has a mistress, he -does not keep her for nothing." - -"Very true," says Mangogul; "and yet I would lay another wager, that -Callipiga's Toy knows nothing at all." - -"Pray be consistent with yourself," continued the favorite. "Of two -things one must happen, either that Callipiga's Toy----But I was -embarking in a ridiculous argument---Prince, do whatever you think -proper: consult Callipiga's Toy; if it keep silence, so much the worse -for Mirolo, and the better for me." - -Mangogul departed, and found himself in an instant close to the jonquil -Sopha, embroidered with silver, on which Callipiga was reposing. -Scarcely had he turned his ring on her, but he heard an obscure voice, -which mutter'd out the following discourse. "What do you ask me? I do -not comprehend your questions. I am not as much as thought of: and yet -I fancy I am as good as another. Mirolo, it is true, often passes by my -door, but----" - -_There is a considerable deficiency in this place. The Republic of -Letters would certainty have great obligations to the person, who would -restore the discourse of Callipiga's Toy, of which we have only the two -last lines remaining. We invite the learned to study them, and consider -whether this deficiency be not a voluntary omission of the author, -dissatisfied with what he had said, and who yet found nothing better to -say._ - -----"It is said that my rival has altars beyond the Alps. Alas! were -it not for Mirolo, the whole universe would erect some to me." - -Mangogul returned immediately to the seraglio, and repeated to the -favorite the complaint of Callipiga's Toy, word for word: for he had a -wonderful memory. "Every circumstance of this story, madam," said he, -"concurs to make you win: I give up the whole wager; and you will thank -Callipiga when you shall think proper." - -"Sir," answered Mirzoza seriously, "'tis to the most confirmed virtue -that I am resolved to be obliged for the wager, and not----" - -"But, madam," replied the Sultan, "I know of none better confirmed than -that which has seen the enemy so near." - -"And for my part, prince," replied the favorite, "I understand my own -meaning well: and here come Selim and Bloculocus, who shall be our -judges." - -Selim and Bloculocus entered: Mangogul stated the case to them, and -they both gave judgment in Mirzoza's favor. - - - - -CHAP. XXXIX. - -_Dreams._ - - -"My lord," said the favorite to Bloculocus, "you must render me another -piece of service. Last night a crowd of extravagant fancies disturbed -my head. It was a dream of a very odd kind: and I have been assured -that you are the most able person of Congo in decyphering dreams. Then -give me quickly the interpretation of this;" and withal she related -her own. - -"Madam," answered Bloculocus, "I am but a middling -Oneirocritic"----"Pray spare these terms of art," cried the favorite: -"drop your learning, and talk reason to me." - -"Madam, you shall be obeyed. I have some singular notions relating -to dreams: and to this alone perhaps I am indebted for the honour of -conversing with you, and for the epithet of Saturnine. I will explain -them to you with all the perspicuity I am capable of. - -"You are not ignorant, madam," continued he, "of what the bulk of -philosophers, with the rest of mankind, deliver on that subject. They -say, that the objects which most sensibly struck us the preceding day, -employ our soul in the night. The traces which they imprinted on the -fibres of our brain, subsist. The animal spirits, accustomed to flow to -certain places, pursue a course which is become familiar to them: and -thence arise these involuntary images which afflict or rejoice us. In -this system I should think, that a happy lover ought always to be well -served by his dreams. Nevertheless it frequently happens that a person -who is not cruel to him, while he is awake, in his sleep treats him -like a slave; or that instead of enjoying a charming woman, he finds a -little deformed monster in his arms." - -"That is exactly my adventure of last night," interrupted Mangogul: -"for I seldom pass a night without dreaming. It is a family disease; -and we dream from father to son, since the Sultan Togrul, who dream'd -in 743500000002, and began the custom. Now, madam, last night you -appeared to me," says he to Mirzoza. "'Twas your skin, your arms, your -breast, your neck, your shoulders, this firm flesh, this easy shape, -this incomparable _Embonpoint_, in a word it was yourself; excepting -this circumstance, that instead of that charming face, that adorable -head which I expected to find, I found myself nose to nose with the -snout of a Dutch pug. - -"I scream'd out dreadfully; my chamberlain Kotluk ran to me, and ask'd -me what was the matter. 'Mirzoza,' answered I, half asleep, 'has just -now undergone the most hideous metamorphosis. She is become a Dutch -dog.' Kotluk did not think proper to awake me: he withdrew, and I fell -asleep again: but I can assure you that I knew you wonderfully well, -your body with a dog's head. Will Bloculocus give me the explanation -of this phænomenon?" - -"I do not despair of doing it," answered Bloculocus, "provided your -highness will agree with me in one very plain principle; which is, that -all beings have many conformities one with another, by qualities which -are common to them: and that it is a certain combination of qualities -which characterizes and distinguishes them." - -"That is evident," replies Mirzoza. "Ipsiphila has feet, hands, and a -mouth, like a woman of sense;" "and Pharasmena," adds Mangogul, "wears -her sword like a man of courage." - -"If a person is not sufficiently acquainted with the qualities, the -combination of which characterizes this or that species; or if he -passes a hasty judgment, that this combination does or does not belong -to this or that individual; he runs the risque of mistaking copper -for gold, a paste for a brillant, a calculator for a geometrician, a -retailer of phrases for a wit, Crito for an honest man, and Phedima for -a pretty woman," added the Sultana. - -"Well, madam," replies Bloculocus, "do you know what might be said of -those who pass these judgments?" - -"That they dream wide awake," says Mirzoza. - -"Very well, madam," continued Bloculocus; "and nothing is more -philosophical or more exact in a thousand circumstances than this -familiar expression: _I believe you dream_: for nothing is more common -than men who fancy that they reason, and in reality only dream with -their eyes open." - -"'Tis of those," interrupted the favorite, "one may literally say, that -their whole life is but a dream." - -"I cannot too much admire, madam," replied Bloculocus, "the ease -with which you comprehend such abstruse notions. Our dreams are -but precipitate judgments which succeed each other with incredible -rapidity, and by bringing objects together, whose sole connexion is by -very distant qualities, compose one whimsical image." - -"If I understand you right," said Mirzoza, "as I think I do, a dream -is a piece of patch-work, the patches of which are more in number, -more regularly fitted, according as the dreamer has a more lively turn -of thought, a more rapid imagination, and a more faithful memory. -Might not madness also consist in this? And when an inhabitant of the -_Petites Maisons_ cries out that he sees lightning, hears the rattling -of thunder, and that gulphs gape under his feet; or when Ariadne at -her glass smiles at herself, finds her eyes sparkling, her complexion -charming, her teeth white, and her mouth little; might not one justly -say, that these two disordered brains, deceived by very distant -affinities, look on imaginary objects as present and real?" - -"You have hit it off, madam: yes, a due examination of mad folks will -convince any body, that their condition is but a continual dream." - -"I have," says Selim addressing himself to Bloculocus, "some facts by -me, to which your notions are very applicable; which makes me resolve -to adopt them. Once I dream'd that I heard some brayings, and that -I saw two parallel rows of singular animals coming out of the great -mosque; they walk'd gravely on their hinder feet: the hoods in which -their snouts were muffled up, had two holes in each, thro' which issued -two long moveable hairy ears; and very long sleeves envelopped their -fore feet. I rack'd my brain at the time, to find some meaning, in -this vision: but I now recollect that I had been at Montmartre[1] the -preceding evening." - - [1] A hill near Paris famous for asses. - -"Another time, while we were in the field, commanded by the great -Sultan Erguebzed in person, and I, harassed by a forced march, was -taking a nap in my tent, I thought I had the conclusion of an important -affair to sollicite in the divan: I went to appear before the council -of regency: but you may judge how much I had reason to be surprized. I -found the hall full of racks, troughs, mangers, and coops for fowls; -in the great Seneschal's easy chair I saw but an ox chewing the cud; -in the Seraskier's place, a Barbary sheep; on the Testesdar's bench, -an eagle with a hooked bill and long talons; instead of the Kiaja and -Kadilesker, two large owls cloathed in fur; and for Visirs, geese with -peacocks tails. I presented my petition, and instantly heard a horrible -racket, which awaked me." - -"Is that a dream of very difficult interpretation?" said Mangogul, "you -had at that time some affair in the divan, and before you went thither, -you took a walk to the Menagerie: but Signor Bloculocus, you tell me -nothing concerning my dog's head." - -"Prince," answer'd Bloculocus, "'tis a hundred to one, that madam wore, -or you had observed some other lady wear a sable tippet; and that the -first Dutch dog, which you saw, struck your imagination. There you have -ten times more connections than is requisite to employ your mind during -your sleep: the resemblance of colour made you substitute hair for a -tippet, and in an instant you planted an ugly dog's head in the place -of a very beautiful woman's head." - -"Your notions to me appear just," replied Mangogul: "why do you not -publish them? they may contribute to the progress of divination by -dreams, an important science, which was much cultivated two thousand -years ago; and has since been too much neglected. Another advantage of -your system is, that it would not fail throwing light on several works, -both ancient and modern, which are but a string of dreams; such as -Plato's treatise of idea's, the fragments of Hermes Trismegistus, the -literary paradoxes of father Harduin, the Newton, the optic of colours, -and the universal mathematicks of a certain Bramin. For example, would -you not inform us, Mr. Conjurer, what Orcotomus had seen in the -daytime, when he dream'd his Hypothesis; what father C---- had dreamt, -when he set about constructing his organ of colours; and what was -Cleobulus's dream, when he composed his tragedy?" - -"With a little meditation, Sir," answered Bloculocus, "I might compass -all that: but I reserve these nice phænomena for the time, when I shall -put out my translation of Philoxenus, for which I beseech your highness -to grant me the privilege." - -"With all my heart," says Mangogul: "but who is this same -Philoxenus?"----"Prince," replies Bloculocus, "he is a Greek author, -who was very knowing in the subject of dreams."----"Then you understand -Greek?"----"Who I, Sir, not a syllable."----"Have you not told me -that you are translating Philoxenus, and that he wrote in Greek?" -"Yes, Sir; but in order to translate a language, it is not necessary -to understand it: because translations are made for those only, who -understand it not." - -"That is wonderful," says the Sultan; "Signor Bloculocus, well then -translate Greek without understanding it. I give you my word, that I -will keep the secret, and it shall not make me honour you one jot the -less." - - - - -CHAP. XL. - -_Twenty-third Trial of the Ring._ - -Fannia. - - -There still remain'd a good part of the day, when this conversation was -closed: which determined Mangogul to make one trial of his ring, before -he retired to his appartment; tho' it were purely to fall asleep on -more chearful idea's than those which had hitherto employ'd him. He -went directly to Fannia's house; but found her not. He return'd thither -after supper; she was still absent. Wherefore he put off his experiment -to the next morning. - -Mangogul, says the African author, whose Journal we translate, was at -Fannia's house by half an hour after nine this morning. She was but -just put to bed. The Sultan drew near her pillow, view'd her for some -time, and could not conceive how, with so few charms, she had run -through so many adventures. - -Fannia is fair even to insipidity, tall, ungainly, with an indecent -gait, no features, few _Agrémens_, and an air of intrepidity, -intolerable any where but at court. As for wit, she is allowed to have -just as much as gallantry can communicate: and a woman must be born -very weak, if she has not acquired a stock of jargon after a score of -intrigues; for Fannia was advanced thus far. - -At this time she was possessed by a man suited to her character. He -gave himself little or no concern about her infidelities; tho' indeed -he was not as well informed as the public, how far she carried them. -He had taken Fannia by caprice, and kept her by habit; like a piece of -furniture. They had spent the night at the ball, went to bed at nine, -and fell asleep without ceremony. Alonzo's indifference would not have -suited Fannia, were it not for her easy humour. Thus our couple were -sleeping soundly back to back, when the Sultan turn'd his ring on -Fannia's Toy. It instantly began to speak, its mistress to snoar, and -Alonzo to awake. - -After yawning several times; "this is not Alonzo, what's o'clock, who -wants me? your business," said the Toy. "I think I have not been long -in bed, let me take another nap." - -The Toy was preparing to compose itself to rest accordingly; but that -was not the Sultan's intention. "What persecution," resumed the Toy. -"Once more who wants me, and for what? 'tis a misfortune to be born of -illustrious ancestors: how unhappy is the condition of a titled Toy! if -any thing could console me for the fatigues of my state, it would be -the goodness of the nobleman, whose property I am. Oh! he is certainly -the best man in the world in that regard. He has never given us the -least uneasiness: and in return we have made great use of the liberty -he granted us. What would have become of me, great Brama, if I had -fallen to the share of one of those insipid wretches, who are always -upon the watch? what a fine life we should have led!" - -Here the Toy added some words, which Mangogul understood not, and then -with surprising rapidity fell to sketching out a crowd of heroic, -comic, burlesque, and tragicomic adventures: and it was almost out of -breath, when it continued in these terms. "You see I have some memory. -But I am like all others; I have retained but the smallest part of what -I have been intrusted with. Be satisfied therefore with what I have -related to you, I can recollect no more at present." - -"'Tis pretty well," said Mangogul within himself; but still he urged -afresh. "Lud, how teizing you are," resumed the Toy: "As if one had -nothing better to do than to prate. Come then, since it must be so, let -us prate on: perhaps when I have told all, I shall be permitted to do -something else. - -"My Mistress Fannia," continued the Toy, "thro' an inconceivable spirit -of retirement, quitted the court, to shut her self up in her house at -Banza. It was then the beginning of autumn, and every body was out -of town. And if you ask me what she did there; Faith, I can't tell. -But Fannia never did but one thing; and if she had been employ'd that -way, I should have known it. Probably she was out of work: true, I now -recollect, we spent a day and a half in perfect idleness, which threw -us into a cruel fit of the vapors. - -"I was heart-sick of this sort of life, when Amisadar was so good to -relieve us from it.---'Ah! you are there, my poor Amisadar, indeed you -give me great pleasure. You come to me very opportunely.'----'And who -knew that you were at Banza?' replied Amisadar.--'No body truly; and -neither you nor any one else will ever imagine what brought me hither. -Don't you guess at the cause?'----'No, really, I cannot comprehend -it.'--'Not at all?'--'No, not at all.'--'Well then know, my dear, -that I resolved to be converted'--'You, to be converted?'----'Yes, -I'----'Look on me a little: but you are as charming as ever, and -I see nothing in that countenance that bespeaks conversion. This -is all pleasantry'----'No, faith, I am serious. I am determined to -renounce the world. I am tired of it'----'This is a whim, that will -soon fly off. Let me die, if ever you run into devotion'----'I -will, I tell you: there is no sincerity in man'----'Pray has Mazul -fail'd you?'----'I have not seen him this age.'----'Then it must -be Zumpholo?'----'Less still, I have ceased seeing him, I can't -tell how, without thinking about it.'----'Ah! I have it, 'tis young -Imola?'--'Good, who can fix such fribbles?'--'What is it then?'----'I -can't tell, I am angry with the whole earth?'----'Ah! Madam, you are in -the wrong; for this earth, at which you are angry, might furnish you -wherewithal to repair your losses.'----'Then, Amisadar, you sincerely -believe that there are still some good souls, who have escaped from -the corruption of the age, and are capable of love?'----'How, love! -Is it possible that you give into those pitiful notions? you expect -to be loved, you?'----'And why not?'----'But reflect, madam, that a -man who loves, pretends to be loved, and alone too. You have too much -good sense, to enslave your self to the jealousies and caprices of a -tender and faithful lover. Nothing so fatiguing as these folks. To -see but them, to love but them, to dream of none but them, to have -no wit, humour, or charms but for them; all this most certainly does -not suit you. It would be pleasant to see you stive yourself up in, -what is called, the noble passion, and give your self all the awkward -airs of a little female cit.' 'Well, Amisadar, you seem to be in the -right. I verily think it would ill become us to run into fawning love. -Let us change then, since it must be so. Besides, I do not see, that -those loving women, whom they set us as models, are happier than -others'----'Who told you so, madam?'----'No body, but it is easily -foreseen.'----'Trust not to such foresight? A loving woman constitutes -her own, and her lover's happiness: but this part is not suited to all -women.'----'Faith, my dear, it is suited to none: for all, who attempt -it, are sufferers. What advantage is there in fixing to one?'----'A -thousand, a woman, who fixes her affections, will preserve her -reputation; will be sovereignly esteemed by the man she loves; and you -cannot imagine, how much love owes to esteem.'----'I do not comprehend -your meaning, you make a jumble of reputation, love, esteem, and I -can't tell what besides. Would you be understood, that inconstancy must -dishonour a woman? How, I take a man, and find he does not answer -my expectations: I take another, and am still disappointed: I change -him for a third, who does not turn out a jot better: and because I -have had the misfortune to make a score of wrong choices, instead of -pitying me, you would'----'I would, madam, advise a woman who has been -deceived in her first choice, not to make a second; for fear of being -deceived again, and running from one error into another.'----'Good -God, what strange morality! I fancy, my dear, that you preached me a -quite different sort just now. Might one be informed what sort of woman -would hit your taste?'----'Most willingly, madam but 'tis late, and the -discourse would run into too great a length.'----'So much the better: I -am alone, and you will be company for me. Thus the affair is settled, -is it not? Seat yourself on this couch, and go on: I shall hear you -more at ease.' - -"Amisadar obey'd, and sate down by Fannia. 'That mantelet of yours, -madam,' says he, leaning towards her, and uncovering her bosom, 'wraps -you up strangely.'--'You say right.'----'Why then do you hide such -beautiful things?' added he, kissing them.----'Come, ha' done. Do -you know that you are mad? You are become intolerably impudent. Mr. -Moralist, resume the conversation which you began.' - -"'Well then,' said Amisadar, 'I would be glad to find in my mistress -a good figure, good sense, good sentiments, and decency above all. I -would have her approve my attendance; not deceive me by looks; make -me thoroughly sensible, once at least, that I am agreeable to her; -and even inform me how I may become still more so; not conceal from -me the progress I make in her heart; give ear to none but me, have -no eyes but for me; neither think, nor even dream, but of me; love -but me; busy herself about nothing but me; do nothing but what may -tend to convince me of all this: and at length yielding herself up -to my transports, let me plainly perceive that I owe every thing to -my love and to hers. Oh, what a triumph, madam! And how happy is the -man who possesses such a woman!'----'Alas, my poor Amisadar, you are -certainly out of your senses. You have drawn the portrait of woman -who does not exist.'----'Pardon me, madam, there are some in being. I -own that they are rare; but yet I have had the good fortune to light -of one. Alas! If death had not snatch'd her from me, for 'tis death -alone that ever robs one of such women, perhaps I should be in her -arms at present'----'But how then did you behave with her?'--'I loved -to distraction, and miss'd no opportunity of giving her proofs of my -passion. I had the sweet satisfaction of seeing that they were well -received. I was scrupulously faithful to her, and she to me. The only -disputes between us were, whose love was strongest; and in these little -debates it was, that we laid our hearts open. We were never so fond -as after this scrutiny of our souls. Our caresses always became more -tender and vigorous after our explanations. Oh! what love and truth -were then in our looks! I read in her eyes, and she in mine, that we -burned with equal and mutual ardor.'----'And whither did all this lead -ye?'----'To pleasures unknown to all mortals less amorous and sincere -than us.'----'You enjoyed?'----'Yes I enjoyed, but a good on which -I set an infinite value. If esteem does not intoxicate, at least it -hightens the intoxication considerably. We unbosom'd ourselves without -reserve, and you can't imagine how much it strengthened our passion. -The more I examined, the more perfections I discovered, and the greater -were my transports. I spent half my time at her feet, and I regretted -the loss of the rest. I made her happiness, and she filled up the -measure of mine. I always saw her with pleasure, and always quitted -her with pain. Thus we lived together: and now, madam, you may judge -if loving women are so much to be pitied'----'No they are not, if what -you tell me be true; but I can scarcely believe it. There is no such -love as you describe. Nay, I imagine, that such a passion as you have -felt, must make a man purchase the pleasures it affords at the expence -of great uneasinesses.'----'I had some, madam, but I was fond of them. -I felt some twitches of jealousy. The least alteration which I remarked -in her countenance, spread the alarm all over my soul.'----'What -extravagance! Upon mature consideration, I conclude that it is better -to love in the present fashionable way; to take a lover at one's ease, -keep to him while he amuses, quit him when he becomes tiresome, or -that our fancy speaks for another. Inconstancy affords a variety of -pleasures unknown to you languishing folks.'----'I grant that that -method may be proper enough for little kept mistresses and common -women; but does not suit with a man of tenderness and delicacy. -At most it may amuse him, when his heart is disengaged, and he is -willing to make comparisons. In a word, a woman of gallantry is by -no means of my taste.'----'You are in the right, my dear Amisadar, -you have a ravishing way of thinking. But do you love any thing at -present?'----'Nothing, madam, but yourself; and I dare not tell you so -neither.'----'Ah! my dear, dare on: you may continue,' replied Fannia, -gazing on him stedfastly. - -"Amisadar understood this reply thoroughly well, moved forward on the -couch, fell to playing with a ribbon, which hung down on Fannia's -breast, and he was not interrupted. His hand, meeting with no -obstacle, slipt down lower. She continued to fire him with glances, -which he did not misinterpret. For my part," says the Toy, "I found, -he was a sensible man. He took a kiss on that neck, on which he had -bestowed so many encomiums. He was desired to stop, but in such a -tone as plainly shewed that she would take it ill, if he obeyed; and -accordingly he did not. He kissed her hands, returned to her neck, -passed to her mouth: nothing resisted him. Insensibly Fannia's leg -was on Amisadar's thighs. He put his hand on it: it was soft, and -Amisadar did not fail to remark it. His elogy was heard with an air of -distraction. By favor of this inattention, Amisadar's hand advanced, -and with rapidity reached her knees. The absence of mind still -continued; and Amisadar was preparing for the charge, when Fannia came -to herself. She accused the little philosopher of want of respect; but -he became so absent in his turn, that he did not hear one word, or at -least made no other answer to the reproaches she threw on him, but by -compleating his happiness. - -"What a charming man he appear'd to me! Of the multitude of those, who -preceded and followed him, not one was ever so much to my taste. I -cannot mention him without panting. Pray suffer me to recover breath! -I think I have spoken a pretty sufficient time, considering it is my -first speech." - -Alonzo did not lose one single Word of Fannia's Toy; and he was -no less impatient than Mangogul to hear the remaining part of the -adventure: but neither of them had time to be out of patience, when the -tale-telling Toy resumed in these words. - -"All that I can comprehend after serious consideration, is, that in -some few days Amisadar went to the country, that he was asked the -reason of his stay in town, and that he related his adventure with my -mistress. For somebody of Amisadar's and her acquaintance, passing by -our door, enquired either by chance or design, if madam was at home, -sent in his name, and went up.----'Ah! madam, who could imagine you -were in Banza? and how long are you here?'----'An age, my dear, this -fortnight, that I have renounced society.' 'May I presume to ask, -madam, upon what account?'----'Alas! because I was tired of it. Women -are become such strange libertines, that there is no bearing them. One -must either do as they do, or pass for a silly creature; and sincerely, -I think both extremes should be avoided.'----'Indeed, madam, you are -become quite edifying. Pray, is it the conversation of the Bramin -Brelibibi, that has wrought your conversion?'----'No, 'tis a squall of -philosophy, 'tis a quint of devotion. It seized me suddenly; and it -is not poor Amisadar's fault that I am not at present practising the -highest austerity.'----'Then madam has seen him lately?'----'Yes, once -or twice.'----'And you have seen no body else.'----'No, truly. He is -the only thinking, reasoning, active being, that has entered my doors -during the eternity of my retreat.'----'That is singular'----'And what -singularity is there in it?'----'Nothing but an adventure which he -had the other day with a lady of Banza, alone like you, devout like -you, retired from the world like you. But I must tell you the story: -perhaps it will amuse you.'----'Without doubt,' replied Fannia: and -immediately Amisadar's friend set about relating his adventure word -for word, as I have done," says the Toy: "and when he was advanced as -far as I am now.----'Well, madam,' said he, 'what do you think? Is not -Amisadar a lucky man?'----'But,' answered Fannia, 'Amisadar is a lier -perhaps: do you imagine that there are women so daring as to abandon -themselves without shame?'----'But consider, madam,' replied Maruspha, -'that Amisadar has named no body, and it is very improbable that he has -imposed'----'I begin to see thro' the affair,' says Fannia: 'Amisadar -has wit, and is a handsome man, he has, to be sure, infused some -notions of sensual pleasure sure into this poor recluse, which have -mastered her. Yes, this must be it: this sort of folks are dangerous -to hear, and Amisadar is matchless in that way.'----'How, madam,' -interrupted Marsupha, 'is Amisadar the only man that has the art of -perswading, and will you not do justice to others, who deserve, as much -as he, a share in your esteem?---'Pray, whom do you mean?'----'Myself, -madam, who think you a charming woman, and'----'I fancy you joke. Look -at me then, Marsupha. I have neither paint nor patches. My night-cap -does not become me. I make a frightful figure.'----'You are mistaken, -madam: that undress sets you off surprisingly. It gives you so winning -and kind an air!'---- - -"To these gallantries Marsupha added others. I insensibly joined in -the conversation; and when Marsupha had finished with me, he resumed -with my mistress. 'Seriously, Amisadar has attempted your conversion; -he has an admirable hand at conversions. Could you give me a sample -of his morals? I would lay a wager they are much the same with -mine.'----'We have thoroughly handled some points of gallantry. We have -analysed the difference between an affectionate woman and a woman of -gallantry. He is for the affectionate women'----'And you too without -doubt?'----'Not at all, my dear. I took great pains to demonstrate -to him, that we were all alike, and that we acted upon the same -principles: but he is not of this opinion. He establishes an infinity -of distinctions, which, I think, exist nowhere but in his imagination. -He has formed to himself, I can't tell what ideal creature, a chimæra -of a woman, a non-entity in a coif.'----'Madam,' answered Marsupha, 'I -know Amisadar. He is a lad of good sense, and has been very conversant -with the sex. If he has told you that there were such'----'Oh! whether -there are such or not,' interrupted Fannia, 'I could never conform to -their customs.'----'I believe it,' said Marsupha: 'and accordingly you -have chosen another sort of conduct more suitable to your birth and -merit. Those silly creatures are to be abandoned to philosophers: they -would never be look'd on at court.----" - -Here Fannia's Toy stopt short. One of the principal perfections of -these orators was to break off their discourse _à propos_. They talk'd -as if they had never done any thing else: whence some authors have -inferr'd, that they were pure machines. In this place the African -author specifies all the metaphysical arguments of the Cartesians -against the soul of brutes, which he applies with all possible sagacity -to the prating of Toys. In a word, his opinion is, that Toys speak as -birds sing; that is to say, so perfectly without having been taught, -that, to be sure, they are prompted by some superior intelligence. - -But you ask me how he disposes of his prince. He sends him to dine with -the favorite: at least 'tis there we shall find him in the following -chapter. - - - - -CHAP. XLI. - -_The history of Selim's travels._ - - -Mangogul, whose thoughts ran solely on diversifying his pleasures, and -multiplying the trials of his ring; after having interrogated the most -interesting Toys of the court, had the curiosity to hear some of the -city Toys. But as he had no advantageous opinion of what his should -learn from them, he would willingly consult them at his ease, and save -himself the trouble of going to find them out. - -How to bring them to him, was what embarassed him. "You are in great -pain for a trifle," says Mirzoza. "Sir, you have only to give a -ball, and I promise you this very night a greater number of those -speech-makers than you will covet to hear." - -"My heart's joy, you say right," replied Mangogul; "and your -contrivance is the better still, because we shall certainly have -none but those whom we have occasion for." In a moment an order was -dispatch'd to the Kislar-Agasi, and the master of the revels, to -prepare the ball, and to distribute no more than four thousand tickets. -They were probably better judges in that country than elsewhere, of the -room that six thousand persons would take up. - -To amuse themselves till the hour of the ball, Selim, Mangogul, and -the favorite set about telling news. "Does madam know," says Selim to -the favorite, "that poor Codindo is dead?" "This is the first word -I heard of it, but what did he the of?" says the favorite. "Alas, -madam," answered Selim, "he fell a victim to attraction. He filled his -head with this system in his youth, and it turn'd his brain in his old -days." "How so?" says the favorite. - -"He had found," continued Selim, "by the methods of Halley and Circino, -two celebrated astronomers of Monoémugi, that a certain comet, which -made so much noise towards the end of Kanaglou's reign, was to return -the day before yesterday; and fearing lest it might double its steps, -and he should not have the happiness of being the first to see it; he -resolved to spend the night in his observatory, and yesterday morning -at nine o'clock he had still his eye clung to the telescope. - -"His son apprehending the consequences of so long a sitting, went to -him at eight, pull'd him by the sleeve, and called him several times: -_Father, Father_. Not a word of answer. _Father, Father,_ repeated the -young Codindo. 'It is just going to appear,' replied Codindo: 'it will -appear; zounds! I shall see it.' 'But you do not consider, dear father, -that there is a dismal fog'----'I must see it, I will see it, I tell -thee.' - -"The young man, convinced by these answers, that the fog had got into -his father's head, called out for help. The family ran to him, and sent -for Farfadi; and I was with him (for he is my physician) when Codindo's -servant came.----'Quick, quick, Sir, make haste, old Codindo, my -master'----'Well, what is the matter, Champagne? What has befallen your -master?'----'Sir, he is run mad.'----'Thy master is run mad'----'Oh! -yes, Sir. He cries out that he must see beasts, that he will see -beasts; that they will come. The apothecary is with him already, and -they wait for you. Come quickly.'----'_Maniacal_,' says Farfadi, -putting on his gown, and hunting for his square-cap; '_Maniacal_, a -terrible maniacal fit.' Then turning to the servant, he ask'd: 'Does -not thy master see butterflies? Does he not pick the ends of his -coverlid?'----'Oh! no, Sir,' replied Champagne. 'The poor man is on the -top of his observatory, where his wife, daughters and son have much ado -to hold him. Come quickly, you will find your square-cap to-morrow.' - -"Codindo's disease seemed to me to be of an odd kind: I took Farfadi in -my coach, and we drove to the observatory. At the bottom of the stairs -we heard Codindo crying out in a furious tone: 'I must see the comet, I -will see it: withdraw ye rascals and jades.' - -"In all probability his family, finding that they could not prevail -on him to go down to his bed-chamber, had ordered his bed up to him: -for we found him lying in bed at the top of his observatory. An -apothecary of the neighbourhood, and the Bramin of the parish had been -called before we arrived. The latter was trumpeting into his ear: -'Brother, dear brother, your salvation is at stake: you cannot with -a safe conscience expect a comet at this hour of the day: you damn -yourself.'----'That is my business,' said Codindo. 'What answer will -you give to Brama, before whom you are going to appear?' replied the -Bramin.----'Mr. Rector,' says Codindo, without stirring his eye from -the telescope, 'my answer shall be, that it is your trade to exhort me -for my money, and the apothecary's there, to extol his warm water to -me; that the physician does his duty of feeling my pulse, and learning -nothing from it; and I my own, of waiting for the comet.'----In vain -did they teize him, they drew nothing more from him: he continued to -observe with heroic courage; and he died on the leads, his left hand -on his eye of that side, his right laid on the tube of the telescope, -and his right eye applied close to the eye-glass; between his son, who -cried that he made a false calculation; his apothecary, who proposed -him a clyster, his physician, who with a toss of his head pronounced, -that there was nothing more to be done; and his priest, who said to -him: 'brother, make an act of contrition, and recommend yourself to -Brama.----'" - -"That is," says Mangogul, "what they call dying in the bed of honour." -"Let us leave poor Codindo," added the favorite, "to rest in peace, and -pass to some more agreeable subject." Then addressing herself to Selim, -"my lord," says she, "as you are so gallant at this time of life, have -so much wit, talents, and so good a mien, and lived in a court devoted -to pleasures; it is no wonder if the Toys have formerly celebrated your -fame. But yet I suspect that they have not told all they knew of you. I -do not require this supplement: you may have good reasons for refusing -it. But after all the adventures, with which this gentry have honoured -you, you ought to know womankind: and this is one of those things of -no consequence, which you may safely own." - -"This compliment, madam," replied Selim, "would have flattered my -self-love at the age of twenty: but I have gained some experience, -and one of my first reflections is, that the more one practises this -business, the less knowledge he obtains. I, to know women! that I have -studied them much, may be allowed." "Well, what do you think of them?" -said the favorite. "Madam," answered Selim, "whatsoever their Toys -might have published concerning them, I esteem the whole sex as most -respectable." - -"Indeed, my friend," says the Sultan, "you deserve to be a Toy; you -would have no occasion for a muzzle." "Selim," added the Sultana, -"abandon the satyrical strain, and speak the truth." "Madam," replied -the courtier, "I may possibly mix some disagreeable strokes with my -narrative: do not impose the task on me of offending a sex, which has -always used me well enough, and which I revere by"----"What, always -veneration! I know nothing so caustic as those sweet-tongued folks, -when they set on," intermitted Mirzoza; and imagining that it was -through regard for her that Selim excused himself, "Let not my presence -restrain you," added she: "we are contriving to amuse ourselves; and -I promise upon my honour to apply to myself all the obliging things -you shall say of my sex, and to leave the rest to other women. Well, -you have studied women much? Pray, give us an account of the course of -your studies: it must have been very brilliant, if I may judge of it -by what is known of the success: and it is reasonable to presume, that -this will not be contradicted by what is unknown." The old courtier -complied with her desire, and began thus. - -"The Toys, I own, have talked a good deal of me: but they have not told -all. Those who were capable of completing my history, either are no -more, or are not in our climate: and those who have begun it, have but -lightly touched the subject. I have hitherto inviolably kept the secret -which I had promised them; although I was better made to speak than -they: but since they have broke silence, I think they have dispensed me -from the obligation of keeping it. - -"Born with a fiery constitution, I loved almost as soon as I knew what -a beautiful woman was. I had governants which I detested; but in return -I was much pleased with my mother's waiting-women. They were for the -most part young and pretty: they conversed, dressed, and undressed -before me without ceremony; they have even enticed me to take liberties -with them, and my temper naturally inclining to gallantry, turned every -thing to advantage. With these elements of instruction, at five or six -years of age I was put under the care of men; and God knows how forward -I was in improving them, when the ancient authors were put into my -hands, and my tutors explained certain passages, of which possibly they -themselves did not penetrate into the sense. My father's pages taught -me some pretty college tricks: and the perusal of _Aloysia_, which they -lent me, gave me a vehement desire of becoming perfect. I was then -fourteen years of age. - -"I cast my eyes around, seeking among the women who frequented the -house, one to whom I might make my addresses: but they all appeared -equally proper to ease me of my irksome load of innocence. A commenced -acquaintance, and still more the courage I felt to attack a person of -my own age, and which failed me with regard to others, determined my -choice in favor of one of my cousins. Emilia was young, and so was -I: I thought her pretty, and she liked me: she was not difficult, -and I was enterprizing: I had a mind to learn, and she was not less -curious to know. We frequently asked one another very frank and strong -questions: and one day she deceived the vigilance of her governants, -and we instructed each other. Ah! how great a master is nature! it soon -set us in the high road of pleasure, and we abandoned ourselves to -its impulse, without the least thought of the consequences: and this -was not the way to prevent them. Emilia had indispositions, which -she took the less pains to hide, as she did not suspect the cause. -Her mother examined her, extorted a confession of our commerce, and -my father was informed of it. He made me some reprimands blended with -an air of satisfaction; and it was immediately resolved that I should -travel. I set out with a governor, who was charged to watch my conduct -attentively, but not to put me under any restraint: and five months -after, the gazette informed me, that Emilia died of the small pox; -and a letter from my father, that her tenderness for me had cost her -her life. The first fruit of my love serves with distinction in the -Sultan's army: I have always supported him by my credit, and to this -day he knows me solely as his protector. - -"We were at Tunis, when I received the news of his birth and his -mother's death. Her fate touched me to the quick, and I believe I -should have been inconsolable, had I not embarked in an intrigue with a -sea-captain's wife, who did not afford me time to run into despair. The -Tunetine was intrepid, and I was fool-hardy: for with the assistance -of a rope-ladder, which she threw to me, I passed every night from my -lodging on her terrass, and thence into a closet, where she put the -finishing hand to my instructions; Emilia having only made a beginning. -Her husband return'd from a cruize, just at the time, that my governor, -who had received his instructions, urged me to cross over into Europe. -I embarked on board a vessel bound for Lisbon, but not without several -times taking leave of Elvira, from whom I received this diamond. - -"The vessel, in which we sailed, was laden with merchandise; but the -most valuable commodity on board, to my taste, was the captain's -wife. She was not quite twenty: and her husband was as jealous of her -as a tyger, and not quite without cause. We all soon understood one -another: Donna Velina perceived that I had a liking for her; I, that -I was not indifferent to her; and her husband, that he incommoded us. -The sailor resolved not to lose sight of us till we were landed at -Lisbon. I read in the eyes of his dear wife, how much she fretted at -her husband's assiduity: mine testified the same things to her, and -the husband understood us wonderfully well. We spent two whole days in -an inconceivable thirst of pleasure; which would certainly have kill'd -us, had not heaven assisted us: but it always assists souls in pain. -Just upon our passing the Streights of Gibraltar, a furious tempest -arose. I would not fail, madam, to raise the winds about your ears, and -make thunder rattle over your head; to set the heavens on fire with -lightning; raise the billows up to the clouds, and describe the most -horrid tempest which you have ever met with in any romance; were I -not giving you a history. I shall only tell you, that the captain was -compelled by the sailors cries to quit his room, and expose himself -to one danger for fear of another. He went up on deck together with -my governor, and I threw myself without hesitation into the arms of -my fair Portuguese; quite forgetting that there was any such thing in -nature as a sea, storms, or tempests; that we were on board a tottering -vessel; and abandoning myself without reserve to the perfidious -element. Our course was rapid, and you may well judge, madam, by the -weather at that time, that I saw a great deal of land in a few hours. -We put in at Cadiz, where I left a promise with the Signora to meet her -at Lisbon, if my Mentor agreed to it, whose design was to go directly -to Madrid. - -"The Spanish women are more closely confined, and more amorous than -ours. Love is managed in that country by a sort of ambassadresses, -who have orders to catechize strangers, to make proposals to them, to -conduct them forward and backward; and the ladies undertake the task -of making them happy. I was not obliged to go through this ceremony, -thanks to the conjuncture. A great revolution had lately placed a -prince of the blood royal of France on the throne of this kingdom: his -arrival and coronation occasioned festivals at the court, where I then -appeared. I was accosted at a masquerade; and a meeting was proposed -me for the next day: I accepted the challenge, and went into a little -house, where I found only one man mask'd, his nose wrapp'd in his -cloak, who delivered me a letter, in which Donna Oropeza put off the -party to the next day at the same hour. I returned, and was introduced -into an appartment sumptuously furnish'd, and well illuminated with -wax tapers. My goddess did not make me wait long. She enter'd just at -my heels, and rush'd into my arms without speaking a word, or taking -off her mask. Was she ugly? Was she handsome? was what I knew not. I -only perceived on the couch, to which she drew me, that she was young, -well-made, and loved pleasure. When she found herself satisfied with -my panegyricks, she unmask'd, and shewed me the original of this -picture, which you see in my snuff-box." - -Selim open'd, and at the same time presented the favorite with a gold -box, of exquisite work, and richly adorn'd with jewels. "The present -is gallant," says Mangogul: "what I esteem most in it," added the -favorite, "is the portrait. What eyes! What a mouth! what a neck! -But is not all this hightened?" "So little, madam," replied Selim, -"that Oropeza would probably have fixed me at Madrid, if her husband, -informed of our commerce, had not disturbed it by his threats. I loved -Oropeza, but I loved life better still. Besides, my governor was not of -opinion, that I should expose myself to be poniarded by the husband, -for the sake of enjoying his wife some few months more. Wherefore I -wrote to the fair Spanish Donna a very moving farewel letter, which I -stole out of some romance of that country, and set out for France. - -"The monarch, who then reigned in France, was the king of Spain's -grandfather, and his court was justly esteemed the most magnificent, -most polite, and most gallant in Europe. I appeared there as a -phænomenon. 'A young lord of Congo,' says a beautiful marquise. 'That -must be surely very diverting: those men are better then ours. I think -Congo is not far from Morocco.' Suppers were given, to which I was -invited. Let my discourse have ever so little sense in it, it was found -fine, admirable: people retracted, who had at first done me the honour -to suspect that I had not common sense. 'He is a charming man,' says -another court lady briskly: 'it would be murther to suffer so pretty a -figure to return into a wretched country, where the women are narrowly -watched by men who are no longer so. Is it true, sir? 'Tis said, that -they have nothing. That is very unseemly in a man.'----'But,' adds -another, 'we must keep this great boy here, (for he is well born) tho' -he were only made a knight of Malta. I engage, if you will, to procure -him an employment; and the dutchess Victoria, my old friend, will speak -to the king in his favor, if it be requisite.' - -"I soon had indubitable proofs of their good-will, and I put the -marquise into a condition of pronouncing on the merit of the -inhabitants of Morocco and Congo. I found that the employment, which -the dutchess and her friend had promised me, was difficult to execute, -and therefore gave it up. It was in this recess that I learned to -form those noble passions of twenty-four hours. I circulated during -six months in a vortex, where the beginning of an adventure did not -wait for the end of another; because enjoyment was the only thing -intended. Or if that was slow in coming, or as soon as it was obtained, -we ran upon the scent of new pleasures." "What do you tell me, -Selim?" interrupted the favorite. "Decency is then unknown in those -countries?" "Pardon me, madam," replied the old courtier. "They have -scarcely any other word in their mouths. But the French women are no -more slaves to the thing than their neighbors." "What neighbors?" -says Mirzoza. "The English women," replied Selim, "who are cold and -scornful in appearance, but passionate, voluptuous, vindictive; less -witty and more rational than the French women. These love the jargon -of sentiment, those prefer the expression of pleasure. But at London -as at Paris, people love, separate, rejoin to separate again. From -the daughter of a lord bishop (these are a sort of Bramins who do -not keep celibacy) I passed to a baronet's wife. While he was warmly -supporting the interest of the nation in the house of commons, against -the attempts of the court; his wife and I had quite different debates -in his house. But the session was closed, and madam was obliged to -attend her knight to his manor. I then light upon a colonel's wife, -whose regiment was quartered along the sea-coast: I afterwards belong'd -to the lady mayoress. Ah, what a woman! I should never have seen Congo -again, if the prudence of my governor, who saw me wasting away, had -not redeemed me from this gally. He counterfeited letters from my -family, which recalled me with all possible expedition, and we embarked -for Holland: our design was to travel through Germany into Italy, where -we expected frequent opportunities of vessels to carry us to Afric. - -"We saw Holland only in riding post; and did not tarry much longer in -Germany. All the women of rank there resemble important citadels, which -must be besieged in form. They are to be reduced, but the approaches -require so many measures, there are so many _ifs_ and _buts_, when the -articles of capitulation are to be settled, that those conquests soon -tired me. - -"I shall never forget the expression of a German lady of the first -quality, on the subject of granting me what she had not refused to -several others. 'Alas!' cried she mournfully, 'what would my father -the great Alkizi say, if he knew that I abandon myself to such a low -creature as a Congese.' 'He shall say nothing, madam,' replied I: 'so -much grandeur affrights me, and I withdraw.' It was wisely done of -me; for if my mediocrity had compromised with her highness, I might -have repented it. Brama, who protects the wholesome climes, which we -inhabit, inspired me without doubt in this critical moment. - -"The Italian ladies, whom we frequented afterwards, are not mounted on -so high a pin. It was with them that I learned the modes of pleasure. -There is indeed much caprice and whim in those refinements; but you -will pardon me, ladies, if I say, that sometimes there is no pleasing -you without them. From Venice and Rome I brought some merry receipts -before my time unknown in our barbarous country. But I restore all the -glory of them to the Italian women, who communicated them to me. - -"I spent about four years in Europe, and returned through Egypt into -this empire, modelled as you see, and stock'd with the rare secrets of -Italy, which I soon divulged." - -Here, says the African author, Selim perceiving that the common place -language, which he held to the favorite on his adventures in Europe, -and on the characters of the women of the countries through which he -passed, had plunged Mangogul into a deep sleep, was afraid of awaking -him; and therefore drew near to the favorite, and continued in a lower -voice. - -"Madam," said he, "were I not apprehensive that I have tired you by -a narrative, which has perhaps been already too long; I would relate -you the adventure, by which I commenced my operations on my arrival at -Paris: I cannot think how it has escaped me." - -"Tell it, my good friend," answered the favorite; "I will double my -attention, and make amends, as much as I am able, for the Sultan's -inattention, who sleeps." - -"At Madrid," continued Selim, "we had taken recommendations for some -lords of the court of France, and at our setting foot in Paris we -found ourselves loaded with protestations of friendship. It was then -the pleasant season of the year, and in the evenings my governor and I -went to walk in the gardens of the Palais Royal. One day we were joined -there by some _Petits-Maitres_, who shewed us the most celebrated -beauties, and gave us their history, true, or false, not forgetting -themselves on every occasion, as you may well imagine. The garden -was already stock'd by a great number of women; but there arrived a -considerable reinforcement about eight o'clock. By the quantity of -their jewels, the magnificence of their dress, and the crowd of their -attendants, I took them for dutchesses at least. I spoke my thoughts to -one of the young lords of the company, whose answer was, that he found -I was a connoisseur; and if I was inclined, I should have the pleasure -of supping that very night with some of the most lovely of them. I -accepted his offer, and in an instant he slipt a word into the ears of -two or three of his friends, who dispersed themselves into different -parts of the walks, and in less than a quarter of an hour returned to -give us an account of their negotiation. 'Gentlemen,' said they to -us, 'you are expected this night to supper at the dutchess Asteria's.' -Those who were not of the party, congratulated us on our good fortune: -and after some turns in the gardens, they left us, and we went into our -coach, in order to reap the benefit of it. - -"We alight at a little door, at the foot of a very narrow pair of -stairs, where we climbed up to a second floor; and I found the -appartments more spacious and better furnished than they would appear -to me at present. I was presented to the mistress of the house, to whom -I made one of the most profound reverences, which I accompanied with -so respectuous a compliment, that she was almost unhinged. Supper was -served up, and I was seated next to a little charming person, who fell -to acting the dutchess to admiration. Truly I can't tell how I dared -to fall in love with her: but so it was." - -"Then you have loved once in your life," interrupted the favorite. -"Oh! yes, madam," replied Selim, "as people love at eighteen years of -age, with extreme impatience to conclude an affair just broach'd. I -had not a wink of sleep all that night, and at dawn of day I set about -composing a most gallant letter to my _Belle_. I sent it, received an -answer, and obtained a meeting. Neither the style of the answer, nor -the yielding temper of the lady, did undeceive me; and I flew to the -place of assignation, strongly perswaded that I was going to enjoy the -wife or daughter of a prime minister. My goddess was waiting for me on -a grand couch: I threw myself at her feet, took her hand, kissed it -with uncommon eagerness, and felicitated myself on the favor which she -condescended to grant me. 'Is it true,' said I, 'that you permit Selim -to love you, and to tell you so; and that he may, without offending -you, flatter himself with the sweetest hope?' On ending these words, I -snatch'd a kiss from her neck; and as she was recumbent I was preparing -to support the attack with vigor, when she stop'd me, and said: 'Hold, -my friend, you are a pretty lad, you have wit at will, you talk like -an angel; but I must have four _Louis d'or's_.' 'What do you say,' -interrupted I.----'I tell you,' replied she, 'there is nothing to be -done, if you have not brought four _Louis_'----'How, miss,' said I -quite amazed, 'is that your full value? It was well worth my while, to -be sure, to come from Congo for such a trifle.' And in a moment I put -myself in order, hurried down stairs, and left her. - -"I began, madam, as you see, to mistake actresses for princesses." "I -am quite astonished at it," replied Mirzoza, "surely the difference -is very great." "I doubt not," said Selim, "but they were guilty of a -hundred impertinences. But what then? A young man, and a stranger too, -is not so nice an observer. And I had heard so many bad stories in -Congo, on the liberties taken by the European women.----" - -Here Mangogul awak'd, and yawning and rubbing his eyes, said: "By the -L--d, he is still at Paris. Might one ask you, good Mr. Story-teller, -when you expect to be return'd to Banza, and how long I am doomed to -sleep: for 'tis proper you should know, my friend, that it is not -possible to broach an account of travels without throwing me into -yawnings. It is a bad habit, which I contracted in reading Tavernier -and other travellers." - -"Prince," answered Selim, "it is above an hour since I am come back to -Banza." - -"I congratulate you thereupon," replied the Sultan; and then turning to -the Sultana, "madam," said he, "the hour appointed for the masquerade -is come: we will set out, if the fatigue of the journey permits you." - -"Prince," answered Mirzoza, "I am ready." Mangogul and Selim slipt on -their Domino's, and the favorite took hers likewise: the Sultan handed -her to the ball-room where they separated, in order to mix in the -crowd. Selim followed them, "and so did I," says the African author; -"tho' I had a stronger inclination to take a nap than to see the -dancing." - - - - -CHAP. XLII. - -_Twenty-fourth and twenty-fifth trial of the ring._ - -Masquerade, and sequel of the masquerade. - - -The most extravagant Toys of Banza did not fail flocking whither -pleasure called them. Some came in city-coaches, some in public -vehicles, and some few on foot. "I should never finish," says the -African author, whose trainbearer I have the honour to be, "if I -enter'd into a detail of the tricks which Mangogul play'd on them." -He gave more exercise to his ring that night alone, than it ever had -had, since the Genius presented him with it. He turn'd it sometimes on -one, sometimes on another, and frequently on twenty together; and then -it was, that the noise they made was ravishing; One cried out with a -squeaking voice, "Violins, pray give us _le Carillon de Dunkerque_;" -another in a hoarse voice, "I will have the _Sautriots_;" "and I the -_Tricotets_," said a third: and a multitude at once call'd for old -country-dances, such as _la Bourée, les quatre faces, la Calotine, la -Chaine, le Pistolet, la Mariée, le Pistolet, le Pistolet, le Pistolet_. -All these cries were interlarded with a million of extravagances. -On one side was heard: _Plague take the noodle, let him be sent to -school._ On another, _Must I return then without my earnest?_ Here, -_who pays my coach?_ There, _he has slipt away from me, but I'll hunt -him till I find him._ And again, _till to-morrow; but twenty Louis's -at least, or there's nothing to be done._ And every where in short, -speeches, which expressed desires or exploits. - -In the crowd, a citizen's daughter, young and pretty, singled out -Mangogul, pursued him, and provoked him so, that he turned his ring -on her. Then was her Toy heard to cry out: "Why do you fly me? Stop, -charming mask, be not insensible to the ardor of a Toy, which burns -for you." The Sultan shock'd at this rash declaration, was determined -to punish the forward creature. He disappear'd, and sought among his -guards some one who was pretty much of his make, gave him his mask and -Domino, and abandoned him to the pursuits of the little female cit; -who being still deceived by appearances, continued to say a thousand -ridiculous things to him, whom she took for Mangogul. - -The sham Sultan was no fool, he was one of those who could talk by -signs: he made one, which drew the _Belle_ into a lonesome place, -where, for above an hour, she imagined herself the favorite Sultana, -and God knows what mighty projects were working in her brain. But the -enchantment lasted not long. After she had surfeited the pretended -Sultan with caresses, she pray'd him to unmask; which he did, and -shewed a physiognomy armed with a large pair of whiskers, which did not -belong to Mangogul. "Oh! fy," cried the little wench, "fie"--"Fell mine -little Shoul," answered the Swiss, "fat you ail? Me tought mee done -you kood services enof, dat you no be angry at nowing mee." But his -goddess, without answering him, slipt nimbly thro' his hands, and was -lost in the crowd. - -But even such of the Toys as did not aspire to so great honours, did -not fail of lighting on pleasure: and they all took the road back to -Banza, thoroughly satisfied with their journey. - -As the company was withdrawing, Mangogul overheard two of his principal -officers at high words. "She is my mistress," says one, "I have kept -her these twelve months, and you are the first who has taken it into -his head to tread on my heels. Why do you make me uneasy? Nasses, my -friend, apply elsewhere; you will find a hundred lovely women, who will -think themselves too happy to possess you." "I love Amina," replied -Nasses. "I see none but her, who takes my fancy. She has given me -hopes, and you will give me leave to pursue them." "Hopes!" replied -Alibeg----"Yes, hopes"----"Zounds, that is not"----"I tell you, Sir, -that it is, and I expect satisfaction this moment for the lye you give -me." Down they went immediately into the court yard; their scymeters -were already drawn, and they were on the point of ending their dispute -in a tragical manner, when the Sultan stop'd them, and forbid them to -fight, before they had consulted their _Helena_. - -They obeyed, and went to Amina's house, and Mangogul close after them. -"The ball has quite spent me," said she: "my eyes are dropping out of -my head. You are very cruel folks, to come the moment I was ready to -get into bed: but both of ye look very oddly. May I be informed what -brings ye hither?"----"A trifle," replied Alibeg. "This gentleman -boasts, and even loftily," added he, shewing his friend, "that you -give him hopes. Madam, how stands this matter?"--Amina was opening -her mouth, but the Sultan turning his ring that very instant, she -closed it, and her Toy answered for her----"In my opinion Nasses is -mistaken: no, it is not he that madam chooses. Has he not a lusty -footman who is a better man? Oh! how foolish these men are in imagining -that dignities, honours, titles, names, words void of meaning, impose -on Toys. Every one has his own philosophy, and ours consists in -distinguishing personal merit, true merit, from that which is but -imaginary. With Monsieur de Claville's leave, he knows less of that -subject than we; which I will prove. - -"You are both acquainted," continued the Toy, "with the marchioness -Bibicosa. You know her amours with Cleandor, as also her disgrace, and -the high devotion she professes at this day. Amina is a good friend; -she has constantly kept up her former intimacy with Bibicosa, and -has not ceased frequenting her house, where all sorts of Bramins are -met with. On a certain day one of these pressed my mistress to speak -to Bibicosa in his favor. 'Pray, what would you have me ask of her?' -replied Amina. 'She is a drowned woman, who can do nothing for herself. -To be sure, she will be much obliged to you for treating her still as -a person of consequence. Believe me, my friend, prince Cleandor and -Mangogul will never do any thing for her, and you may freeze in the -anti-chambers.'----'But, madam,' replied the Bramin, 'the affair is but -a trifle, which entirely depends on the marchioness: and this it is. -She has built a little chapel in her house, doubtless for the Sala, -which supposes an Iman: and 'tis this place which I ask'----'What say -you?' says Amina. 'An Iman: you don't consider: the marchioness wants -only a Marabou, whom she will call from time to time, when it rains, -or when she chooses to have the Sala, before she goes to bed: but an -Iman lodged, cloathed, dieted in her house, with a salary, does not -suit Bibicosa. I know her affairs. The poor woman has not six thousand -Zecchins a year, and you expert her to give two thousand of it to an -Iman. Surely this is a strange fancy.'----'By Brama,' replied the -holy man, 'I am sorry for it: for if I had once got to be her Iman, -I should soon become more necessary to her; and when one is got -thus far, it rains gold and pensions. Howsoever I may appear to you, -I am of Monomotapa, and do my duty extremely well.'----'Upon second -thoughts,' answered Amina, with panting interruptions, 'your affair is -not perhaps impossible. Pity it is, that the merit you speak of is not -known.'----'One runs no risque in doing good offices to persons of my -country,' replied the Monomotapan, 'pray behold.'----He forthwith gave -Amina a complete proof of such surprising merit, that from that moment -you lost in her eyes half the value she put on you. Well! long live the -Monomotapans." - -Alibeg and Nasses made long faces, and look'd on each other without -uttering a word: but when they had recovered from their astonishment, -they mutually embraced; and casting disdainful looks on Amina, they -ran prostrate themselves at the Sultan's feet, and thank him for having -undeceived them with regard to this woman, and preserved their lives -and reciprocal friendship. They arrived just as Mangogul, return'd to -the favorite, was relating Amina's history to her. It made Mirzoza -laugh, but did not augment her esteem for the court ladies and the -Bramins. - - - - -CHAP. XLIII. - -_Selim at Banza._ - - -From the masquerade Mangogul went immediately to take rest; but the -favorite finding that she had no inclination to sleep, sent for Selim, -and pressed him to continue the history of his amours. Selim obeyed, -and resumed the discourse in these terms. - -"Madam, galantry did not fill up all my time: I snatched some -moments from pleasure, which I bestowed on serious occupations; and -the intrigues in which I was embarked, did not prevent my learning -fortification, riding, fencing, music and dancing; observing the -customs and arts of the Europeans, and studying their politicks and -military art. On my return to Congo, I was presented to the Emperor, -grandfather to the Sultan, who granted me an honourable post in his -troops; and I soon was made one of all the parties of the prince -Erguebzed, and consequently concerned in the adventures of pretty -women. I was acquainted with some of all nations, ages, and conditions, -and found very few cruel; whether it was that my rank dazzled them, -that my prattle pleased them, or my person struck them. At that time I -had two qualities, with which a rapid progress is made in love-affairs; -assurance and presumption. - -"At first I dealt among the women of quality. I took them in the -evening in the circle, or at play at the Manimonbanda's: I passed -the night with them, and we hardly knew each other in the morning. -One of the occupations of these ladies, is to procure lovers, nay, -to decoy them away from their best female friends; and the other, to -get rid of them. Thro' apprehensions of ever being unprovided, while -they are enjoying the sweets of one intrigue, they squint at two or -three others. They possess a number of little arts to attract the man -they have in view, and a thousand tricks in reserve, to disengage -themselves from their present spark. This has always been, and always -will be. I shall name no body; but I knew every woman of Erguebzed's -court, who had any reputation for youth and beauty; and all these -engagements were formed, broken off, resumed, forgot, in less than six -months. - -"Disgusted with that world, I passed into its antipodes. I visited -the citizen's wives, whom I found dissembling, vain of their beauty, -perched on the pinacle of honour, and almost constantly beset with -savage brutal husbands, or certain splaw-footed cousins, who acted the -passionate lovers with their female cousins from morning till night, -and were very disagreeable to me. It was impossible to be alone with -these women one moment. Those animals broke in upon us perpetually, -disconcerted a rendezvous; and thrust themselves into all our -conversations. These obstacles notwithstanding, I brought five or six -of these prattling creatures to my intended point, before I finished -with any one of them. What diverted me much in their commerce, was, -that they piqued themselves, on delicacy of sentiments, and I must -value myself on the same; and they talk'd on that subject eno' to make -one die with laughing. Besides, they required assiduity of attendance; -and in their dialect I was continually deficient in this point. They -preached such correct love, that there was a necessity of renouncing -it. But the worst of all was, that they had your name eternally in -their mouths, and that sometimes one was obliged to appear in public -with them, and incur all the ridicule of a city adventure. Wherefore -on a fine summer's day I bid adieu to their shops and the whole rue St. -Denis for ever. - -"People had then the madness of keeping private lodges. I hired one in -the eastern suburb, and there successively had some of those girls who -are seen and not seen; to whom one speaks, and says not a word; and -whom we discard, when tired of them. I frequently mustered a set of -friends and opera actresses together, and gave little suppers, which -prince Erguebzed now and then honoured with his presence. Ah! madam, I -had delicious wines, exquisite cordials, and the best cook in Congo. - -"But nothing gave me so great amusement as an enterprize which I -executed in a province remote from the capital, where my regiment was -in quarters. I set out from Banza to review it; and as that was my -only business, I should have been quickly back, were it not for the -extravagant project to which I devoted myself. At Baruthi there was -a monastery of very beautiful nuns. I was young and beardless; and -I contrived how to get admission under the disguise of a widow, who -sought an asylum against the dangers of the age. I ordered womens -cloaths to be made for me, then dressed myself, and went to offer -myself at the grate of those recluses. I met with a very tender -reception: they comforted me for the loss of my husband; the price of -my board was agreed on, and in I went. - -"The appartment appointed me had a communication with the dormitory -of the novices. They were very numerous, most of them young, and of -a surprising bloom. I was extremely polite to them, and soon became -their bosom friend. In less than eight days I was let into all the -interests of the little republic, informed of the several characters, -and instructed in their secret history; I received confidences of all -colours, and found that detraction and calumny are not better managed -by us profane mortals. I observed their rules with severity, catch'd -the wheedling air and smooth canting tone: and they whispered to each -other, that the community would be happy, if I took the habit. - -"No sooner had I thought my reputation established in the house, but -I fixed upon a young virgin, who had just taken the first veil. She -was an adorable nut-brown girl: she called me her mamma, and I called -her my little angel. She gave me innocent kisses, and I returned very -tender ones. Youth is curious: Zirziphila put me daily on the subject -of matrimony, and the pleasure of husbands, and desired me to inform -her: I artfully whetted her curiosity; and from question to question I -led her to the practice of the lessons which I gave her. She was not -the only novice that I instructed; and some young nuns came likewise to -be edified in my cell. I managed the hours and meetings so dexterously, -that no one interfered with another. In fine, madam, what shall I tell -you? The pious widow made a numerous progeny. But when the scandal, -which caused many a secret sigh, broke out, and a council of discreet -matrons met, and sent for the physician of the convent; I meditated -my retreat. Wherefore in the dead of the night, when the whole house -was asleep, I scaled the garden wall, and disappeared. I went to the -waters of Piombino, whither the physician had sent half the convent; -and there, in the habit of a cavalier, I finished the work, which I had -begun under that of a widow. This, madam, is a fact which the whole -empire remembers, and of which you alone know the author. - -"The rest of my youth," added Selim, "was spent in the like amusements, -always women, and of all sorts, seldom any mystery, a number of oaths, -and no sincerity." "But at this rate," says the favorite, "you have -never been in love?" "Psha!" replied Selim, "I thought much of love -at that time; I aim'd at pleasure only, and at those women who were -most likely to afford it me"----"But," interrupted the favorite, "is -there any pleasure without loving? What can it be, when the heart says -nothing?" "Alas! madam," rejoined Selim, "is it the heart that speaks -at the age of eighteen or twenty?" - -"But in fine, what is the result of all these experiments? What have -you pronounced on women?" - -"That most women have no character at all," says Selim. "That they are -most powerfully influenced by three things, interest, pleasure and -vanity; that perhaps there is not one of them who is not governed by -one of these passions; and that those who join all the three together, -are monsters." - -"As for pleasure, that I can allow them," said Mangogul, who had just -then joined the company: "though little dependance can be had on this -sort of women, yet they are to be excused. When the constitution is -wound up to a certain pitch, it is an unruly horse, which carries his -rider over hedges and ditches; and most women are mounted astride on -that beast." "'Tis probably for that reason," says Selim, "that the -dutchess Menega calls the Chevalier Kaidar her master of the horse." - -"But is it possible," says the Sultana to Selim, "that you have not -had the least adventure, in which the heart was concerned. Will -your sincerity tend only to dishonour a sex which constituted your -pleasures, if you were their darling. What! in so great a number of -women, not one that desired, and even deserved to be beloved; that is -not to be conceived." - -"Ah! madam," replied Selim, "I feel, by the readiness with which I obey -you, that years have not weakened the empire of a lovely woman over my -heart. Yes, madam, I have loved like other folks. You desire to know -all; I am going to tell all, and you will judge if I have performed a -lover's part in all the forms." - -"Are there any travels in this part of your history?" says the Sultan. -"No, prince," replied Selim. "So much the better," says Mangogul, "for -I find no propensity to sleep." - -"For my part," rejoined the favorite, "Selim will allow me to take a -little rest." - -"Let him go to bed likewise," says the Sultan; "and while ye both are -reposing, I will interrogate Cypria." - -"But, prince," answered Mirzoza, "your highness does not reflect, that -that Toy will lead you into a string of voyages without end." - -The African author informs us in this place, that the Sultan, struck -with Mirzoza's observation, took care to provide a most powerful -antihypnotic. He adds, that Mangogul's physician, being his intimate -friend, had given him the prescription, and that he had put it in to -the preface of his book: but of that preface there remains no more -than; the three last lines, which are as follow. - - Take of---- - of---- - of---- - of _Mariamne, and the Paysan Par_, four pages. - of the _Egaremens du Coeur_, one sheet. - of the _Confessions_, twenty five lines and a half. - - - - -CHAP. XLIV. - -_Twenty-sixth trial of the Ring._ - -The rambling Toy. - - -While the favorite and Selim were reposing after the fatigues of the -preceding day, Mangogul was viewing with astonishment the magnificent -appartments of Cypria. This woman had, by means of her Toy, made a -fortune equal to that of a general farmer of the revenue. After having -been through a long row of chambers, each surpassing the other in -richness and elegance of furniture, he came to the great salon; where, -in the midst of a numerous circle, he distinguished the mistress of -the house by the enormous quantity of jewels, which disfigured her; -and her husband, by the good-manship painted on his countenance. -Two _Abbés_, a wit, and three academicians of Banza, were posted at -the sides of Cypria's easy chair; and towards the end of the salon -fluttered about two _Petits-Maitres_, and a young magistrate full -of airs, blowing on his ruffles, incessantly adjusting his peruke, -visiting his mouth, and complimenting himself in the glass that his -paint held on so well. Except these three butterflies, all the company -was in profound veneration for the honorable mummy, who was seated in -an indecent posture, yawned, spoke while she yawned, judged of every -thing, judged ill of every thing, and was never contradicted. "How," -said Mangogul within himself, who had not talked alone of a long time, -and was chagrined at it; "how came she to have it in her power to -dishonor a man of a good family, with so wrong a turn of mind, and -such a figure as she makes?" Cypria would fain pass for fair; tho' her -skin, tawney striped with red, had a good resemblance with a variegated -Tulip. With large eyes, she was short-sighted; she was of a squat -shape, crowded features, with a long slender nose, a flat mouth, hollow -cheeks, and a narrow forehead; no neck, a dry hand, and skinny arm. -With those charms it was, that she inchanted her husband. The Sultan -turn'd his ring on her, and instantly she began to open. The company -were deceived, thinking that Cypria spoke from her mouth, and that she -was going to pass judgment: whereas her Toy began in these words. - -"The history of my travels. I was born in Morocco, in the year -17000000012; and I danced on the stage of the opera, when Mehemet -Tripathoud, who kept me, was named ambassador extraordinary from our -potent emperor to the monarch France. I followed him in this ambassy. -The charms of the French women soon robbed me of my lover; and I -speedily made reprisals. The courtiers greedy of novelty, would needs -try Maroquine: for thus they nick-named my mistress. She treated them -with great humanity; and her affability in six months brought her in -twenty thousand crowns in jewels, as much more in cash, and a neat well -furnished house. But the French are fickle, and I soon ceased to be in -fashion. I did not mispend my time in galloping about the provinces: -great talents require vast theatres. I suffered Tripathoud to return -without me; and I devoted myself to the metropolis of another kingdom. - -"Un my lord tres opulent, qui voyageoit en France, m'entraina a -Londres. Oui, c'etoit la vraiment un homme. Il m'arrosoit six fois -par jour, et six autres fois par nuit. Son v--t lancoit des dards de -feu, comme la queue d'une Comete. Jamais n'ai-je ressenti des bottes -si vives et si bien appliquées. Mais il n'etoit pas possible à la -prouesse humaine de continuer ce train long tems: aussi se rallentit-il -peu à peu, et je recus son ame distillée par son _Penis_. Il me fit -present de cinquante mil guinées. A ce noble Seigneur succederent -deux amateurs nouvellement revenus de course. Comme ils etoient amis -intimes, ils me chevauchoient, comme ils avoient voyagés, en compagnie; -chacun faisant tous ses efforts pour surpasser l'autre en vigeur et en -feu. Pendant que l'un etoit a la rade, je remorqueois l'autre par son -v--t, et je le preparois à une nouvelle attaque. Par un calcul tres -moderé je contai cent quatre-vingt coups de balles, que je recus en -huit jours. Mais je m'ennuiai bientot de tenir un compte si exacte: car -leurs bordées ne finissoient pas. Ils me payerent douze mil guinées -pour ma part des captures qu'ils avaient faites. Dés que l'hiver fut -passé, ils furent contraints de mettre à la voile; et ils auroient bien -voulu m'engager en qualité d'Allege: mais j'avois deja fait contract -avec un Comte Allemand. - -"Duxit me Viennam in Austria patriam suam, ubi venereâ voluptate, -quantâ maximâ poteram, ingurgitatus sum, per menses tres integros ejus -splendidè nimis epulatus hospes. Illi, rugosi et contracti Lotharingo -more colei, et eo usque longa crassaque mentula, ut dimidiam nondum -acciperem, quamvis iterato coitu fractus rictus mihi miserè pateret. -Immanem ast usu frequenti vagina tandem admisit laxè gladium; novasque -excogitavimus artes, quibus fututionum quotidianaram vinceremus -fastidium. Modò me resupinum agitabat; modò ipsum, eques adhærescens -inguinibus, motu quasi tolutario versabam. Sæpe turgentem spumantemque -admovit ori priapum, simulque appressis ad labia labiis, fellatrice -me linguâ perfricuit. Etsi veneri nunquam indulgebat posticæ, à tergo -me tamen adorsus, cruribus altera sublato, altera depresso, inter -femora subibat, voluptaria quærens per impedimenta transire. Amatoria -Sanchesii præcepta calluit ad unguem, et festivas Aretini tabulas -sic expressit, ut nemo melius. His a me laudibus acceptis, multis -florenorum millibus mea solvit obsequia, et Romam secessi. - -"Quella Citta è il tempio de Venere, ed il soggiorno delle delizie. -Tuttavia mi dispiaceva, que le natiche leggiadre sossero là encora più -festeggiate delle più belle potte; quello che provai il terno giorno -del mio arrivo in quel paese. Una Cortigiana illustre si offerisce a -farmi guadagnare mila scudi, s'io voleva passar la sera con esso lei in -una vigna. Accettai l'invito; salimmo in una carozza, e giungemmo in un -luogo da lei ben conosciuto, nel quale due cavaliere colle braghenesse -rosse si fecero incontro à noi, e ci condussero in un boschetto spesso -e solto, dove cavatosi subito le vesti, vedemmo i più furiosi cazzi -che risaltero mai. Ogn'uno chiavò la sua. Il trastullo poi si prese -à quadrille, dopo per farsi guattare in bocca, poscia nelle tette; -alla perfine, uno de chiavatori impadronissi del mio rivale, mentro -l'altro mi lavorava. L'istesso fu fatto alla conduttrice mia; e ciò -tutto dolcemente condito di bacci alla fiorentina. E quando i campioni -nostri ebbero posto fine alla battaglia, facemmo la fricardella per -risvegliar il gusto a quei benedetti Signori, i quali ci pagarono con -generosita. In più volte simili guadagnai con loro sessanta mila scudi; -e due altre volte tanto, con colloro che mi proccurava la Cortigiana. -Mi ricordo di uno che visitava mi spesso, e che sborrava sempre due -volte senza cavarlo; e d'un altro il quale usciva da me pian piano, per -entrare sotilmente nel mio vicino; e per questo bastava fare sù e giù -le natiche. Ecco una uzanza curiosa che si prattica in Italia." - -Cypria's Toy continued her history; in a strain half Congese and half -Spanish. In all probability it was not a sufficient master of the -latter language, to employ it alone. "A language is not learnt," says -the African author, who would sooner hang himself, than miss a common -observation, "without talking it much:" and Cypria's Toy had little or -no time to talk at Madrid. - -"I fled from Italy," said the Toy, "notwithstanding some secret desires -that called me back, influxo malo del clima! y tuve luego la resolucion -de ir me a una tierra donde pudiesse gozar mis fueros, sin partir los -con un usurpador. I travelled into old Castille, where I was brought -back to my simple functions: but this did not gratify my revenge. Le -impuse la tarea de batter el compas en los bayles che celebrava de -dia y de noche; and he performed so well, that we were reconciled. -We appear'd at the court of Madrid as good friends. Al entrar de la -ciudad, I link'd con un Pape venerable por sus canas: happily for me: -for he had compassion for my youth, and gave me a secret, the fruit of -sixty years experience, para guardar me del mal de que merecieron los -Franceses ser padrinos, por haver sido sus primeros pregones. With this -receipt, and a relish for cleanliness, which I vainly endeavoured to -introduce in Spain, I preserved myself from all accidents at Madrid, -where my vanity alone was mortified. My mistress, you know, has a -very little foot. Esta prenda es el incentivo mas poderoso de una -imaginacion Castellana. A little foot, serves for a pasport at Madrid -to a girl, que tiene la mas dilatada fima entre las piernas. I resolved -to quit a country, where I owed the greatest part of my triumphs to a -foreign merit; y me arrime a un definidor muy virtuoso que passava a -las Indias. Under the wings of his reverence I saw the land of promise, -that country where the happy mortal without scandal carries gold in -his purse, a ponyard under his girdle, and his mistress behind him. -How delightful a life is spent there! What nights! Gods, what nights! -Hay de mi! al recordarme de tantos gustos me méo----Algo mas----Ya, -ya---Pierdo il sentido----Me muero---- - -"After spending a year at Madrid, and in America, I embarked for -Constantinople. There I could not relish the customs of a people, by -whom Toys are lock'd up; and I soon quitted a country, in which my -liberty was in danger. However, I practised sufficiently with the -Mussulmans, to perceive that they are much improved by their commerce -with the Europeans: and I found in them the levity of the French, the -ardor of the English, the strength of the Germans, the longanimity -of the Spaniards, together with strong tinctures of the Italian -refinements: in a word, a single Aga is worth a cardinal, four dukes, a -lord, three grandees of Spain, and two German princes. - -"From Constantinople I came, as you know, gentlemen, to the court of -the great Erguebzed, where I formed the most amiable of our nobility: -and when at length I became good for nought, I threw myself on that odd -figure there," says the Toy, singling out Cypria's husband by a certain -familiar gesture. "Gods, what a fall!" - -The African author closes this chapter with an advertisement to -the ladies, who might be tempted to order a translation of those -parts of the the narrative, where Cypria's Toy expressed itself in -foreign languages. "I should be wanting," says he, "to the duty of -an historian, by suppressing them; and to the respect which I bear -the sex, by preserving them in my work; without acquainting virtuous -ladies, that Cypria's Toy had excessively spoil'd its speech in -travelling, and that its narratives are infinitely more free than any -of the clandestine lectures which it ever made." - - - - -CHAP. XLV. - -_Cydalisa._ - - -Mangogul returned to the favorite, where Selim was come before him. -"Well, prince," said Mirzoza, "has the account of Cypria's travels -done you any good?" "Neither good nor harm," answered the Sultan: "I -understood it not." "Why so?" replied the favorite. "Because," says the -Sultan, "her Toy speaks like a Polyglot, all languages but mine. It is -an impertinent Story-teller, but would make a excellent interpreter." -"What!" replied Mirzoza, "did you gather nothing at all from her -narrative?" "But one thing, madam," answered Mangogul, "and that is, -that travelling is more pernicious, if possible, to the modesty of -the women, than to the religion of the men; and that there is very -little merit in knowing many languages. For one may be master of Greek, -Latin, Italian, French, Spanish, and the language of Congo, and yet -have no more sense than a Toy. Is this your opinion, madam? and what is -Selim's? Now let him begin his story: but above all, no more travels. -They fatigue me to death." Selim promised the Sultan, that the scene -should be confined to one place, and spoke thus. - -"I was about thirty years of age when I lost my father: I married to -keep up my family, and I lived with my wife as becomes a husband; -regards, attentions, politeness, decent behavior without much -familiarity. The prince Erguebzed came to the throne: I had been in -his good graces long before his reign: he continued me in them to his -death, and I endeavour'd to do justice to this mark of distinction by -my zeal and fidelity. The place of inspector general of his armies -became vacant: I obtained it, and this post obliged me to take frequent -journies to the frontiers." - -"Frequent journies?" cried the Sultan. "A single one is sufficient to -make me sleep till to morrow. Think of that." - -"Prince," continued Selim, "it was in one of these tours that I became -acquainted with the wife of a colonel of the Spahi's, whose name was -Ostaluk, a man of bravery, and a good officer, but by no means an -agreeable husband, jealous as a tyger, and his person was a sufficient -warrant to justify that madness: for he was horribly ugly. - -"He had lately espoused Cydalisa, young, lively, handsome; one of those -uncommon women, for whom, at the first interview, one feels somewhat -more than politeness, from whom one parts with regret, and who return a -hundred times to your thoughts, till you see them again. - -"Cydalisa had a just way of thinking, expressed herself with grace: her -conversation was engaging, and if a person was never tired of seeing -her, he was still less so of hearing her. With these qualities she had -a right to make strong impressions on every heart, and I felt their -effects. I esteemed her much; from esteem I soon ran into tenderness, -and all my proceedings immediately assumed the true colour of a strong -passion. The ease with which I obtained my former triumphs, had -somewhat spoiled me: when I attacked Cydalisa, I imagined she would -not hold out long; and that being very much honoured by the pursuit -of Mr. Inspector General, she would only make a decent defence. Judge -then at the surprise I was thrown into by the answer which she made -to my declaration. 'My lord,' said she, 'altho' I had the presumption -to believe that you are touched with some charms, which I am thought -to have; yet I should be a fool to listen seriously to those same -discourses with which you have deceived thousands, before you addressed -them to me. Without esteem, what is love? A trifle, and you do not -know me sufficiently to esteem me. Whatever judgment and penetration -a person may have, he cannot in two days time enter deep enough into -the character of a woman, to say that she deserves to be adored. Mr. -Inspector General seeks an amusement; he is in the right; and so is -Cydalisa too, in amusing no body.' - -"In vain did I swear to the sincerity of my passion, that my happiness -was in her hands, and that her indifference would poison the rest of -my life. 'Jargon,' said she, 'pure jargon. Either think no more of -me, or do not believe me stupid enough to be catch'd by those trite -protestations. What you have just said to me, every body says without -thinking of it, and every body hears without believing it.' - -"If I had had but a bare liking to Cydalisa, her severity would have -mortified me: but as I loved her, it afflicted me. I set out for the -court: her image followed me thither; and absence, far from weakening -the passion which I had conceived for her, did but augment it. - -"Cydalisa had so far taken possession of me, that I thought a hundred -times to make a sacrifice to her of the employments and rank which -bound me to the court: but the uncertainty of success always withheld -me. - -"In the impossibility of flying to the place where I left her, I formed -a project to bring her where I was. I took advantage of the confidence -with which Erguebzed honoured me, by extolling the merit and valor of -Ostaluk. He was named lieutenant of the Spahi's of his guard, an office -which fixed him near the prince; and Ostaluk appeared at court, and -with him Cydalisa, who instantly became the beauty of the day." - -"You did well," says the Sultan, "to keep your employments, and call -your Cydalisa to court: for I swear to you by Brama, that I should -have suffered you to set out alone for the province she was in." - -"She was ogled, surveyed, beset, but all in vain," continued Selim. -"I enjoyed the sole privilege of seeing her every day. The more I -visited her, the more graces and good qualities I perceived in her, -and the more desperately I became enamoured. I fancied that possibly -the remembrance of my numerous adventures might injure me in her mind; -in order to efface it, and convince her of the sincerity of my love, -I banished myself from company, and I saw no women but those which -chance threw in my way at her house. It seemed to me as if this conduct -had some effect on her, and that she relaxed somewhat of her former -severity. I doubled my diligence, I asked for love, and she granted me -esteem. Cydalisa began to treat me with distinction. I had some share -in her confidence: she often consulted me on her family affairs, but -was quite silent on those of her heart. If I expressed myself in tender -sentiments, she answered me in maxims, which made me mad. This painful -state had lasted a long time, when I took up the resolution to get out -of it, and to know positively once for all, what I might depend on." -"How did you set about it?" said Mirzoza. "Madam, you will soon be -informed," answered Mangogul: and Selim continued. - -"I have told you, madam, that I saw Cydalisa every day: I began by -seeing her less frequently, I went on by slackening my visits more -and more, till infine I scarce saw her at all. Whenever I happened to -converse with her _tête à tête_, I spoke as little of love as if I had -never felt the least spark of it. This change astonished her: she -suspected me of some secret engagement, and one day, as I was making -her a narrative of the galantries of the court, 'Selim,' said she to -me with an air of confusion, 'you tell me nothing concerning yourself: -you relate the good fortune of others charmingly, but you are very -discreet with regard to your own.' 'Madam,' answered I, ''tis probably -because I have none, or that I think it is proper to conceal it.' 'To -be true,' interrupted she, ''tis of vast consequence to conceal those -things to day, which all the world will know to morrow.' 'Be that as it -will, madam,' replied I, 'yet at least nobody shall have them from me.' -'Indeed,' said she, 'you are quite marvellous with your reserves; but -pray who does not know that you have designs upon the fair Misis, the -little Zibelina, and the nut-brown Sephera?' 'And on whom you please -besides, madam,' added I coldly. 'Truly,' replied she, 'I can easily -believe that these are not all: these two months past, that the sight -of you is a favour, you have not been idle, and business goes on fast -with those ladies.' 'I, to remain idle,' answered I; 'I should never -forgive myself. My heart is made to love, and somewhat to be beloved -too; and I will go so far as to own that it is: but ask me no farther -questions on this head, perhaps I have already said too much.' - -"'Selim,' replied she seriously, 'I have no secret for you, -and you shall have none for me, if you please. How far are you -advanced?'----'Almost to the end of the novel'----'And with whom?' -said she earnestly----'You know Marteza'--'Yes, sure; she is a very -amiable woman.' 'Well then, after having in vain tried all means -to please you, I turned to that side. I was wished for above half a -year; two interviews levell'd the outworks, a third will compleat -my happiness; and this very night Marteza expects me to supper. Her -conversation is amusing, light, and a little caustic; but, that -excepted, she is the best creature in the world. A person transacts -his little affairs better with those giggling women, than with those -lofty dames, who.'----'But, my Lord,' interrupted Cydalisa with a -down-cast look, 'in complimenting you on your choice, may one observe -to you, that Marteza is not new, and that before you, she has reckoned -lovers?'----'What is that to me, madam?' replied I. 'If Marteza -loves me sincerely, I look on myself as her first. But the hour of -my appointment draws near, permit me.'----'One word more, my Lord. -Is it really true that Marteza loves you?----'I believe it.'----'And -you love her?' added Cydalisa.----'Madam,' answered I, ''tis you -that have thrown me into the arms of Marteza: I need say no more to -you.'----I was departing, but Cydalisa pull'd me by my Doliman, and -turned back in a hurry.----'Does madam want to speak with me? Has she -any commands for me?'----'No, Sir, how, are you there still? I thought -you were a good way off by this time.'----'Madam, I will double my -pace.'----'Selim'----'Cydalisa.'----'Then you are going?'----'Yes, -madam.'----'Ah! Selim, to whom do you sacrifice me? Was not Cydalisa's -esteem of greater value than the favors of a Marteza?'----'Without -doubt, madam,' replied I, 'if I had nothing more than esteem for you. -But I loved you.'----'It is not so,' cried she with transport: 'if -you had loved me, you would have distinguished my real sentiments; -you would have been prepossessed with them, you would have flattered -yourself, that your perseverance would in time get the better of my -pride: but you grew tired, you have abandoned me, and perhaps in the -very moment'----At this word Cydalisa stopt short, a sigh slipt from -her, and her eyes were wet.--'Speak, madam,' said I, 'make an end. If -my tenderness lasted still, notwithstanding your rigorous treatment, -could you.'----'I can do nothing, you do no longer love me, and Marteza -waits for you.'----'If Marteza was indifferent to me; if Cydalisa was -dearer to me than ever, what would you do?'--'It would be folly to -explain myself on suppositions.'----'Cydalisa, I beseech you to answer -me, as if I had supposed nothing. If Cydalisa was constantly the most -lovely of her sex in my eyes; and if I never had the least design on -Marteza; once again what would you do?'----'What I have always done, -ingrateful man,' answered at length Cydalisa: 'I would love you.'--'And -Selim adores you,' said I, falling on my knees, and kissing her -hands which I water'd with my tears. Cydalisa was struck dumb, this -unexpected change threw her into the utmost confusion: I took advantage -of her disorder, and our reconciliation was sealed by certain marks of -tenderness, which she had not power to refuse." - -"And what did the good natured Ostaluk say to this?" interrupted -Mangogul. "Doubtless he allowed his dear half to be generous to a man, -to whom he was indebted for his lieutenancy of the Spahi's." - -"Prince," replied Selim, "Ostaluk shewed great gratitude, whilst I -was not listened to; but no sooner was I made happy, but he became -troublesome, ill-humour'd, insupportable to me, and brutal to his wife. -Not content with disturbing us in person, he caused us to be watched, -we were betrayed, and Ostaluk, convinced of his pretended dishonour, -had the impudence to challenge me to a duel. We fought in the great -park of the Seraglio: I gave him two wounds, and obliged him to own -himself indebted to me for his life. - -"While he was under cure of his wounds, I never quitted his wife: but -the first use that he made of his recovery, was to part us and ill-use -Cydalisa. She sent me a pathetic account of her unhappy situation: I -proposed carrying her off, to which she consented, and our jealous -pate, returning from the chase, wherein he attended the Sultan, was -vastly surprized to find himself a widower. Ostaluk, instead of giving -vent to his passion in useless complaints against the author of the -rape, instantly meditated revenge. - -"I had Cydalisa in a country house, two leagues from Banza; and every -other night I stole out of town, and went to Cisara. Mean while Ostaluk -set a price on the head of his false one, bribed my servants, and was -let into my park. That evening I was enjoying the refreshing breeze -there with Cydalisa; we were got to the remoter end of a dark walk, and -I was on the point of lavishing the most tender caresses on her, when -an invisible hand pierced her breast with a ponyard before my eyes. It -was the hand of cruel Ostaluk. The same fate hung over my head: but -I prevented Ostaluk, I drew my dagger, and Cydalisa was revenged. I -ran to the dear woman: her heart still panted: I hastened to carry her -to the house, but before I reached it she expired, her mouth closely -pressing on mine. - -"When I perceived Cydalisa's limbs to grow stiff in my arms, I cryed -out with vehemence: my people ran to me, and forced me away from this -place of horror. I returned to Banza, and shut myself up in my palace, -excessively grieved at Cydalisa's death, and loading myself with the -most cruel reproaches. I loved Cydalisa sincerely, and was passionately -beloved by her; and I was at full leisure to consider the greatness of -the loss, which I had sustained, and to mourn for her." - -"But at length," said the favorite, "you comforted your self?" "Alas! -madam," replied Selim, "I thought I never should; but this one thing I -have learnt by it, that there is no grief eternal." - -"Well," said Mirzoza, "let me hear no more of the men: there they -are all. That is to say, Signor Selim, that this poor Cydalisa, -whose history has moved us to compassion, and whom you have so much -regretted, was a great fool to rely on your oath; and that, while Brama -perhaps chastises her severely for her credulity, you pass your time -pleasantly enough in the arms of another." - -"Pray, madam," replied the Sultan, "calm your self: Selim loves again, -Cydalisa will be revenged." "Sir," answered Selim, "your highness -may possibly be misinformed. Ought I not to have learnt, once for my -whole life, by my adventure with Cydalisa, that true love was too -prejudicial to happiness?"--"Without doubt," interrupted Mirzoza, -"and yet I would lay a wager, notwithstanding your philosophical -reflections, that you actually love another more ardently than--" - -"More ardently," replied Selim, "I dare not assert: these five years -past I am attached, but attached from my heart to a charming woman. -It was not without difficulty, that I made her listen to me, for she -had always been of a virtue!"--"Virtue!" cried the Sultan; "courage, -my friend, I am charmed, when one talks to me of the virtue of a court -lady." "Selim," said the favorite, "continue your story:" "and always -believe, as a good mussulman, in the fidelity of your mistress," -added the Sultan. "Ah! prince," replied Selim with vivacity, "Fulvia -is faithful to me:" "faithful, or not," answered Mangogul, "what is -that to your happiness? You believe it, and that is sufficient?" "Oh -then! 'tis Fulvia that you are now in love with," said the favorite. -"Yes, madam," answered Selim. "So much the worse, my friend," added -Mangogul: "I have not a grain of faith in her. She is perpetually beset -by Bramins, and these Bramins are terrible fellows: besides, I find she -has little Chinese eyes, with a turn'd up nose; and an air thoroughly -inclining to the side of pleasure. Between us, is this true?" "Prince," -answered Selim, "I believe she has no aversion to it." "Well," replied -the Sultan, "every thing gives way to that charm: which you ought to -know better than I, or you are not"--"You are mistaken," replied the -favorite, "a man may have all the sense in the world, and not know -that. I wager"--"Always wagers," interrupted Mangogul: "I am out of -all patience; those women are incorrigible. Pray, madam, win your -castle, and lay wagers afterward." - -"Madam," says Selim to the favorite, "might not Fulvia be of use to you -in some station or other?" "As how?" ask'd Mirzoza. "I have observed," -answered the courtier, "that the Toys have seldom or never spoke, -but in presence of his highness; and I have fancied, that the Genius -Cucufa, who has done so many surprising things in favour of Kanaglou -the Sultan's grand-father, might have endowed his grand-son with the -gift of making them speak. But Fulvia's Toy has not as yet opened -its mouth, as far as I could ever learn: might it not be possible to -interrogate it, in order to procure you the castle, and to convince -me of the fidelity of my mistress?" "Doubtless," replied the Sultan; -"what is your opinion, madam?" "Oh! I shall not meddle in so ticklish -an affair. Selim is too much my friend, to expose him, for the sake of -a castle; to the risque of being made unhappy the rest of his days." -"But you do not consider," replied the Sultan: "Fulvia is virtuous: -Selim would run his hand into the fire to prove it. He has said it, and -he is not a man to flinch from his word." "No, Prince," answered Selim, -"and if your highness will give me a meeting at Fulvia's house, I will -certainly be there before you." "Be cautious of what you propose," -replied the favorite. "Selim, my poor Selim, you go very fast, and how -worthy soever you are of being beloved"--"Fear not, madam; since the -dye is cast, I will hear Fulvia: the worst that can befal me, is to -lose a faithless woman." "And to die of regret," added the Sultana, -"for having lost her." "What a romance," says Mangogul. "You believe -then that Selim is become very weak. He has lost the lovely Cydalisa, -and yet there he is full of life; and you pretend, that if he happened -to find Fulvia unfaithful to him, it would kill him. I'll insure him -to you as immortal, if he is never demolished but by that stroke. -Selim, to morrow at Fulvia's, do you hear? you will have notice of -the hour." Selim bow'd, Mangogul quitted the company: the favorite -continued to remonstrate to the old courtier, that he play'd a high -game. Selim thank'd her for her tokens of good will, and each retired -in expectation of the great event. - - - - -CHAP. XLVI. - -_Twenty-seventh Trial of the Ring._ - -Fulvia. - - -The African author, who had promised to bring Selim's character into -some part of his book, has thought fit to place it here: and I have -too much esteem for the works of antiquity, to assert that it would -come in better some where else. "There are," says he, "some men, whose -merit gives them access every where, who by their graceful person, and -free easy wit, are in their youth the darlings of many women; and whose -gray hairs are respected, because having known how to reconcile their -duties with their pleasures, they have rendered their middle stage -of life illustrious, by services done for the state: in a word, men, -who at all times are the delight of society. Such was Selim. Though he -had reached sixty years, and that he had entered the list of pleasure -early; a strong constitution and some management had preserved him from -the infirmities of age. A noble air, an easy carriage, insinuating -language, a great knowledge of the world, founded on long experience, -the habit of dealing with the sex, made him to be regarded at court, -as a man whom every body would chuse to resemble, but who would be -unsuccessfully copied, for want of being endowed by nature with the -talents and genius which had distinguished him. - -"Now I desire to know," continues the African author, "if this man had -reason to make himself uneasy on the score of a mistress, and to spend -the night like a mad man? For the fact is, that a thousand reflexions -rolled in his head; and the more he loved Fulvia, the more he feared to -find her unfaithful. 'Into what labyrinth have I thrust my self?' said -he to himself. 'And to what purpose? What advantage will accrue to me, -in case the favorite should win a castle; and what will be my fate, if -she loses it? But why should she lose it? Am I not certain of Fulvia's -love? Ah! I am in the sole and entire possession of her; and if her -Toy speak, it will be of me alone.--But if the treacherous--no, no, I -should have had some previous notion of it; I should have observed some -unevenness in her temper. Some time or other, these five years past, -she would have betrayed herself.--Yet the trial is dangerous.----But -it is now no longer time to recoil, I have lifted the vessel to my -mouth, I must finish, tho' I were to spill the liquor.----Perhaps also -the oracle will be in my favour.--Alas! what can I expect from it? Why -must others have failed in their attacks on that virtue, over which I -have triumphed?----Ah! dear Fulvia, I wrong thee by my suspicions, and -I forget what it cost me to conquer thee. A ray of hope enlightens me, -and I flatter myself that thy Toy will obstinately keep silence.----'" - -Selim was in this agitation of mind, when he received a card from the -Sultan, which contained these words: _This night, precisely at half an -hour after eleven, you will be where you know._ Selim took his pen, and -answered with a trembling hand: _Prince, I will obey._ - -Selim passed the rest of the day, as he had done the preceding night, -fluctuating between hope and fear. Nothing is truer, than that lovers -have an instinct: if their mistress be unfaithful, they are seized with -an horror much like to that, which animals feel at the approach of bad -weather. The suspicious lover is a cat, whose ear itches in cloudy -weather. Animals and lovers have this property also in common, that -domestic animals lose this instinct, and that it grows dull in lovers, -when they are converted into husbands. - -The hours seemed very tedious to Selim, he look'd a hundred times on -his watch: infine the fatal moment came, and the courtier went to -visit his mistress. It was late, but as he had admission at all hours, -Fulvia's appartment was opened for him----"I had given you over," said -she, "and I went to bed with a swimming in my head, which I owe to -the impatience you have thrown me into"----"Madam," answered Selim, -"business and respect have detained me with the Sultan; and since I -parted from you, I have not been master of myself one moment." "And -for my part," replied Fulvia, "I have been in a dreadful humour. How! -two whole days without seeing you."--"You know," answered Selim, "what -my rank obliges me to: and let the favour of the great appear ever so -fixed"----"How," interrupted Fulvia, "has the Sultan shewn you any -coldness? Has he forgot your services? Selim, you are pensive, you do -not answer me.----Alas! if you love me, of what avail is the prince's -good or bad reception to your happiness. It is not in his eyes, it is -in mine, 'tis in my arms that you are to seek it." - -Selim listened attentively to this discourse, examined the countenance -of his mistress, and in its motions sought that character of truth, in -which a person is not deceived, and which is impossible to counterfeit -well: when I say impossible, I mean to us men: for Fulvia was so -perfectly composed, that Selim began to blame himself for having -suspected her, when Mangogul entered the room. Fulvia was silent in an -instant, Selim trembled; and the Toy said: "In vain does my lady make -pilgrimages to all the Pagoda's of Congo, she will have no children; -for reasons well known to me, who am her Toy.----" - -At this declaration a deadly paleness seized Selim: he attempted to -rise, but his trembling knees failed him, and he fell back into his -seat. The invisible Sultan step'd up to him, and whispered in his ear: -"Have you enough?" "Alas! Prince," replied the melancholic Selim, "why -did I not follow the advice of Mirzoza; and the misgivings of my own -heart? My happiness is eclipsed, I am a lost man: I die, if her Toy -does not speak; if it does, I am a dead man: let it speak out however. -I expect frightful intelligences; but I fear them less than I hate the -state of perplexity, in which I am.----" - -In the mean time Fulvia's first motion was to put her hand on her -Toy, and to shut its mouth: what it had hitherto said, might bear a -favorable interpretation: but she dreaded the sequel. As she began to -take courage on account of its remaining silent, the Sultan, urged by -Selim, turned his ring: Fulvia was obliged to spread her fingers, and -the Toy went on. - -"I will never hold, I am too much harassed. The too assiduous visits -of so many holy men will always obstruct my intentions, and madam will -not have any children. If I had been regaled by none but Selim, I might -possibly prove fruitful: but I lead the life of a gally-slave. This day -fatigued by one, to morrow by another; and always at the oar. The last -man which Fulvia sees, is always the person, whom she believes destined -by heaven to perpetuate her race. None can be safe from this fancy. O -how tiresome is the condition of the Toy of a titled lady, who has no -heirs! These ten years past, I am exposed to people, who were not made -even to lift their eyes up to me." - -Here Mangogul was of opinion that Selim had heard enough, to cure him -of his perplexity: wherefore he exempted him from the remaining part, -turned off his ring, and went away, abandoning Fulvia to the reproaches -of her lover. - -At first the miserable Selim was petrified: but his fury giving him -strength and speech, he darted a scornful look on his unfaithful -mistress, and said: "Ingrateful, perfidious woman, if I loved you -still, I would take revenge: but as you are unworthy of my affection, -so you are likewise of my wrath. A man like me, Selim to be mixed with -a pack of scoundrels.----" - -"Truly," interrupted Fulvia smartly, in the strain of an unmasked -courtisan, "it much becomes you to give yourself airs for a trifle: -instead of thanking me for concealing matters from you, which would -have made you mad at the time of their transacting; you take fire, -you fly into a rage, as if you had been injured. And pray, Sir, what -reason can you have for preferring yourself to Rickel, to Seton, to -Mollio, to Tachmas, to the most amiable cavaliers of the court, from -whom their mistresses won't be at the pains even of cloaking the slips -they make. Consider, Selim, that you are exhausted, infirm, and long -incapable of engrossing a pretty woman, who is not a fool. Acknowledge -then, that your presumption is ill-timed, and your rage impertinent. -Infine you may, if you are dissatisfied, leave the field open to -others, who will make better use of it." "So I do, and most heartily," -replied Selim with excessive indignation: and went away, fully resolved -never more to see that woman. - -He went home, and shut himself up for some days, less grieved for his -loss, than for his long error. Not his heart, but his vanity suffered. -He dreaded the reproches of the favorite, and the jokes of the Sultan; -and he shun'd the one and the other. - -He was upon the point of resolving to renounce the court, to go into -retirement, and turn philosopher for the remaining part of a life, of -which he had thrown away a great part in quality of a courtier; when -Mirzoza, who guess'd his thoughts, undertook to comfort him, sent for -him to the Seraglio, and made him this speech. "Well, my poor Selim, -then you abandon me? 'Tis not Fulvia, it is me that you punish for her -infidelity. We are all concerned for your adventure, we agree that -it is vexatious: but if you set any value on the Sultan's protection -and my esteem, you will continue to enliven our company, and you will -forget that Fulvia, who never was worthy of a man like you." - -"Madam," answered Selim, "age admonishes me that it is high time for -me to retire. I have sufficiently seen the world; and four days ago I -would have boasted that I knew it. But Fulvia's stroak confounds me. -Women are indefinable, and I should hate them all, if you had not been -included in the sex, of which you have all the charms. May Brama grant, -that you never imbibe their perverseness. Farewell, madam, I am going -to give myself up to useful reflections in solitude. The remembrance -of the favours, with which you and the Sultan have honoured me, will -follow me thither; and if my heart forms any vows henceforth, they will -be for your happiness and his glory." - -"Selim," replied the favorite, "your chagrine is your adviser. You -are afraid of mockery, which you will less avoid by withdrawing from -court, than by remaining at it. Have as much philosophy as you will, -this is not the time to put it in practice; your retreat will be -attributed to peevishness and melancholy. You are not framed to confine -yourself in a desert; and the Sultan----" - -Mangogul's arrival interrupted the favorite: she informed him of -Selim's design. "Then he is turn'd fool," says the prince; "is it -possible that the base usage of that little Fulvia has turn'd his -head." And then addressing himself to Selim----"That shall not be, my -friend, you shall stay," continues he: "I want your counsel, and madam -your company. The welfare of my empire, and Mirzoza's satisfaction -require it, and it shall be." - -Selim, moved with the sentiments of Mangogul and the favorite, bowed -respectuously, staid at court, was loved, cherished, sought for, and -distinguished by his favour with the Sultan and Mirzoza. - - - - -CHAP. XLVII. - -_Prodigious events of the Reign of Kanaglou, Mangogul's Grand-father._ - - -The favorite was very young. Born towards the end of Erguebzed's -reign, she had scarce any idea at all of the court of Kanaglou. A word -accidentally dropt had given her a curiosity to know the prodigies, -which the genius Cucufa had wrought in favour of that good prince; -and none could more faithfully inform her than Selim. He had been an -eye-witness and even a sharer in them, and was throughly versed in -the history of his time. One day that he was alone with her, Mirzoza -put him on that topic, and asked him if the reign of Kanaglou, which -made so great noise, had seen greater wonders, than those, which then -engrossed the attention of Congo? - -"I have no interest, madam," answered Selim, "in preferring times -past to those of the reigning prince. Great things are come to pass -under him, but they are perhaps no more than specimens of those which -will continue to render Mangogul illustrious; and my time is too far -advanced, to flatter my self with seeing them." "You are mistaken," -replied Mirzoza; "you have acquired, and will keep the epithet of -eternal. But tell me what you have seen." - -"Madam," continued Selim, "Kanaglou's reign was long, and our poets -have named it the golden age. This title suits it upon several -accounts. It has been signalized by successes and victories: but the -advantages were blended with crosses, which prove that this gold was -sometimes mixed with bad alloy. The court, which sets the example to -the rest of the empire, was very gallant. The Sultan had mistresses, -the nobility piqued themselves on imitating him, and the lower people -insensibly assumed the same air. The magnificence in dress, furniture, -and equipages, was excessive. Delicacy in feasting was reduced to an -art. People gam'd high, ran in debt, paid no body, and spent while -they had either money or credit. There were very good laws enacted -against luxury, but not put in execution. Towns were taken, provinces -conquered, palaces begun, and the empire drained of men and money. -The people sung victory, and were starving at the same time. The -great had stately castles and delightful gardens, and their lands lay -uncultivated. A hundred ships of war had rendered us masters of the -sea, and the terror of our neighbours: but a good calculator made an -exact estimate what it cost the government to keep these hulks in -good order; and notwithstanding the remonstrances of the rest of the -ministry, they were ordered to be turned into a bon-fire. The royal -treasury was a great empty coffer, which this wretched oeconomy did -not fill; gold and silver became so scarce, that the mints were, -on a summer's morning, converted into paper-mills. To compleat our -happiness, Kanaglou suffered himself to be persuaded by a set of -fanatics, that it was of the utmost importance, that all his subjects -should resemble him, and that they should have blue eyes, snub noses, -and red whiskers, as well as he: and he expelled from Congo above two -millions of people, who were not blessed with these regimentals, or who -refused to counterfeit them. Such, madam, was this golden age; such -those good old times, which you daily hear regretted: but let those -dotards prate on, and do you believe that we have our Turennes and our -Colberts, that, all things considered, the present is better than the -time past; and that if the people are happier under Mangogul than they -were under Kanaglou, his highness's reign is more illustrious than -that of his grandfather, because the happiness of the subject is the -exact measure of the greatness of the prince. But let us return to the -particulars of Kanaglou's reign. - -"I will begin by the origin of the Pantins." "Selim, I will excuse -you, I know that story by heart," says the favorite, "proceed to other -matters." "Madam," answered Selim, "might one ask from whom you have -it?" "Why," says Mirzoza, "it is published." "True Madam," replied -Selim, "and by people, who knew nothing of the matter. I am out of -humour, when I see little obscure private persons, who have never been -near princes, but at a public entry into the metropolis, or some such -other ceremony, pretend to write their history. - -"Madam," continued Selim, "we had spent the night at a masquerade in -the great salons in the Seraglio, when the genius Cucufa, a vowed -protector of the reigning family, appeared to us, and commanded -us to go to bed, and sleep twenty four hours on a stretch. He was -obeyed, and at the expiration of this term, the Seraglio was found -to be transformed into a vast and magnificent galery of Pantins. At -one end appeared Kanaglou seated on his throne: a long pack-thread, -almost worn out, hung down between his legs: an old decrepit fairy -was incessantly pulling it, and with a turn of her wrist, moved an -innumerable multitude of subaltern Pantins, to whom fine imperceptible -threads answered, which issued from Kanaglou's fingers and toes. She -pulled, and in an instant the seneschal drew up, and sealed ruinous -edicts; or pronounced a panegyric on the fairy, which was prompted by -his secretary: the minister of war sent card matches to the army; the -superintendant of the finances built houses, and suffered the soldiery -to starve; and so of the other Pantins. - -"When any of the Pantins happened to execute their movements aukwardly, -by not lifting up their arms sufficiently, or not bowing their knee in -a proper manner, the fairy cut their threads with a jerk of her left -hand, and they became paralytic. I shall never forget two most valiant -emirs, whom she found deficient in their duty, and who were ever after -deprived of the use of their arms. - -"The threads which issued from every part of Kanaglou's body, were -extended to immense distances, and from the palace of Congo, put -whole armies of Pantins into motion or winter quarters, even to the -remotest parts of Monoémugi. With one pull of the pack-thread, a town -was besieged, the trenches were opened, they battered in breach, and -the enemy was preparing to capitulate; but upon a second pull, the -besiegers fire slackened, the attacks were not carried on with the -same vigour, troops came to the relief of the place, dissentions were -kindled among the generals: we were attacked, surprized, beaten, and -routed. - -"These bad tidings never gave any concern to Kanaglou: he seldom heard -them, till they were forgot by his subjects: and the fairy would not -suffer him to be informed of them, but by Pantins, who had each a -thread fastned to the tip of their tongue, and who said no more than -what she thought proper, on pain of being struck dumb. - -"Another time we young fools were all charmed with an adventure, -which gave bitter scandal to the godly. The women all at once became -tumblers, and fell to walking with their heads down, their legs up in -air, and their hands in their slippers. - -"This threw all our former knowledge into confusion; and we were -obliged to commence a course of studies on these new physiognomies. -Many were slighted, who ceased to be thought lovely, as soon as they -shewed themselves; and others, who were never so much as talked of, -gained vastly by making themselves known. Their petticoats and gowns -falling over their eyes, put them in danger, either of losing their -way, or stumbling: wherefore the former were shortened, and the latter -cut open before. Such is the origin of short petticoats and open -gowns. When the women returned to the use of their feet, they retained -this part of their dress as it was: and if we thoroughly consider the -petticoats of our fine ladies, we shall easily perceive, that they were -not made to be worn, as they are worn at this day. - -"Any mode, that has but one drift, will soon pass away: in order to -make it lasting, it ought to answer two ends at least. In those same -days a secret was discovered for plumping the breasts downward: and it -is used at this day for plumping them upward. - -"The devout women, surprized to find their heads down, and their heels -up in the air, at first covered themselves with their hands: but this -attention made them lose their poise, and stumble in their walks. By -the advice of the Bramins, they afterwards tied their petticoats about -their legs with little black ribbons. The gay part of the sex found -this expedient ridiculous, and publickly declared, that it incommoded -their respiration, and threw them into the vapours. This prodigy was -attended with happy consequences; it occasioned a number of marriages, -or somewhat like them, and a crowd of conversions. All those, who had -disagreeable buttocks, ran headlong into the religious party, and took -little black ribbons. Four missions of Bramins would not have made so -many proselytes. - -"We had scarcely got rid of this trial, when we underwent another, -less universal indeed, but not less instructive. The young girls, one -and all, from thirteen to eighteen, nineteen, twenty years of age, and -upwards, rose on a fine summer's morning, the middle finger caught, -guess where, madam?" says Selim to the favorite. "It was not in their -mouth, nor in their ear, nor infine, _à la Turque_. Their disease was -easily guess'd, and the remedy quickly applied. From that time may our -custom be dated of marrying children, who are fit for nothing but -dressing their dolls. - -"Another blessing: Kanaglou's court swarmed with _Petits-maitres_, and -I had the honour to be of the number. One day as I was entertaining -them with the young French nobility, I perceived our shoulders working -upwards, till they became higher than our heads: but that was not all; -in an instant we all fell to whirling about on one heel." "And what -rarity was there in that?" said the favorite. "Nothing, madam," replied -Selim, "but that the first metamorphosis is the origin of the round -shoulders, so much in vogue in your infancy; and the second, that of -the scoffers, whose reign is not yet over. Then, as now, a discourse -was begun to some one person, which by a sudden twirl on the heel, was -continued to a second, and finished to a third, to whom it became half -unintelligible, half impertinent. - -"Another time we all found our selves short sighted, and were forced to -have recourse to Bion: the rogue made us pay ten sequins for glasses, -which we continued to use, even after recovering our sight. Thence -come, madam, the opera spy glasses. - -"I could never learn what the fine ladies did to the Genius Cucufa -about this time; but he took severe vengeance of them. At the end of -a certain year, whereof they had spent the nights in balls, banquets, -and gaming, and the days in dressing, or between the arms of their -lovers, they were all astonished to find themselves horridly ugly. One -was as black as a mole, another bronzed over; a third pale and lean, a -fourth of a sickly yellow, and full of wrinkles. There was a necessity -to palliate this fatal enchantment, and our chemists found out the -white, the red, pomatums, waters, venus's handkerchiefs, virgins milk, -patches, and a thousand other cosmetics, which they employed, to avoid -appearing ugly, and becoming frightful. Cucufa still held them under -this curse, when Erguebzed, who loved beautiful women, became their -intercessor. The Genius did all that he could; but the charm was so -powerful, that he was not able to dissolve it thoroughly; and the court -ladies remained such as you see them at this day." - -"Was the fate of the other charms the same?" says Mirzoza. "No, madam," -answered Selim, "they lasted some longer, some shorter: the round -shoulders sunk by degrees, and people stood upright: and for fear of -being thought hump-back'd, they turned up their noses to the wind, -and danced as they walked. The whirlgig motion continued, and they -whirl about to this day. Broach a serious or sensible conversation in -presence of a young lord of the _bel air_; and _Zeste_, you shall see -him wheel away from you in an instant, and go mutter out a parody to -some body, who asks him the news of the war, or of his health; or to -whisper in his ear, that he supped last night with Miss Rabon, and that -she is an adorable girl; that there is a new romance coming abroad; -that he has read some pages of it, and that it is fine, very fine: and -then another twirl or two towards a lady, whom he asks if she has seen -the new opera, and answers her, that Miss Dangeville has performed to a -miracle." - -Mirzoza found these ridicules very diverting, and asked Selim if he had -been a sharer in them. "How, madam," replied the old courtier, "was -it possible not to have them, without passing for a man come from the -other world? I put on the round shoulders, I stood erect, I danced in -walking, I cock'd the spy-glass, I whirled about, I hissed like the -rest: and the utmost efforts of my judgment went no farther than to -be one of the first in taking up these several biasses, and none of -the last in shaking them off." Selim was got thus far, when Mangogul -appeared. The African author does not inform us, what was become of -him, or what were his occupations during this preceding chapter. -Probably the princes of Congo may be allowed to perform indifferent -actions, to say miserable things sometimes, and to resemble the rest of -mankind, who spend a great part of their lives in doing nothing, or -such things at least, as are not worthy of being known. - - - - -CHAP. XLVIII. - -_Twenty-eighth Trial of the Ring._ - -Olympia. - - -"Rejoice, madam," says Mangogul, coming in to the favorite's -appartment. "I bring you an agreeable piece of news. The Toys are a -parcel of little fools, who know not what they say. Cucufa's ring can -indeed make them speak, but not extort the truth from them." "And -how has your highness caught them in a lye?" says the favorite. "You -shall hear," answered the Sultan. "Selim promised you an account of -all his adventures, and you make no doubt but that he has kept his -word. Well then, I am just come from consulting a Toy, who accuses him -of a naughty trick, which he has not confessed to you, and which most -certainly he has not play'd, as it is quite contrary to his character. -To tyrannize over a pretty woman, to lay her under contribution, on -pain of military execution: can you discover Selim in this proceeding?" -"Pray, why not, Sir?" replied the favorite. "There is no malice of this -sort, of which Selim has not been capable: and if he has concealed -the adventure which you have discovered, possibly it is, that he is -reconciled to this Toy, that they are well together, and that he -thought he might keep that peccadillo from me, without swerving from -his promise." - -"The perpetual falsity of your conjectures," replied Mangogul, "ought -to cure you of the disease of ever making any. There is nothing of what -you imagine in the affair: it is one of the first flights of Selim's -youthful days. It regards one of those women, who are gained in a -minute, but are never kept long." - -"Madam," says Selim to the favorite, "in vain do I examine my self, -I can recal nothing more to my memory; and at present I find my -conscience quite clear." - -"Olympia," says Mangogul--"Ah! Prince," interrupted Selim, "I know the -thing; but this little story is so old, that it is no wonder that it -has escaped me." - -"Olympia," continued Mangogul, "wife of the chief cashier of Hasna, -had coiffed herself with a young officer, captain in Selim's regiment. -Her lover came to her one morning in deep concern, to inform her that -orders were issued for all the officers to set out and join their -respective corps. My grandfather Kanaglou had resolved that year -to open the campaign early: and an admirable project, which he had -formed, miscarried, purely through the making these orders too publick. -The politicians murmured, the women exclaimed, each party had their -reasons. I have told you those of Olympia. This woman took the party of -seeing Selim, and, if possible, to prevent the departure of Gabalis: -for that was her lover's name. Selim already passed for a dangerous -man. Olympia thought it was proper to have an escort: and two of her -female friends, as handsome as her self, offered to accompany her. -Selim was at home when they came. He received Olympia, who appeared -alone, with that easy politeness, which you know he is master of, and -asked what had procured him this agreeable visit? 'Sir,' says Olympia, -'I interest my self for Gabalis: he has some important affairs on his -hands, which make his presence necessary at Banza, and I come to you to -beg six months leave of absence for him.' - -"'Six months leave, Madam? You do not consider,' replied Selim: 'the -Sultan's orders are precise: I am heartily concerned, that I cannot -make a merit towards you of a favour, which would infallibly ruin -me.' New instances on Olympia's side: on Selim's new refusals--'The -Grand Vizir has promised me, that I should be comprehended in the -next promotion. Can you desire me, madam, to drown my self, in order -to oblige you?' 'No, Sir, you may oblige me, without drowning your -self'--'Madam, it is impossible: but if you go to the Visir'--'Alas! -Sir, to whom do you send me, that man never did any thing for the -ladies'--'I rack my brain to no purpose: for I should be highly -rejoiced in being able to render you service, and I can see but one -way.' 'And which is that?' asked Olympia with eagerness.--'Your -intention,' answered Selim, 'would be to make Gabalis happy for six -months: but, madam, could you not dispose of one quarter of an hour -of those pleasures which you design for him?' Olympia understood him -wonderfully well, blushed, stammered; and concluded by exclaiming at -the severity of the condition. 'Let us say no more of the affair,' -replied the colonel with a cold air, 'Gabalis shall join his regiment: -the prince's service must be done. I might venture to take somewhat on -my self: but you are inflexible. At least, madam, if Gabalis departs, -it is you that send him away.' 'I,' cry'd Olympia sharply: 'Ah! Sir, -make out his warrant quickly, and let him remain here.' The essential -preliminaries of the treaty were ratified on a sopha, and the lady -thought she had made sure of Gabalis; when the traitor, who stands -before you, took it into his head to ask her, who those two ladies -were, who came with her, and whom she left in the next appartment. -'They are two of my intimate friends,' replied Olympia; 'and of Gabalis -too,' added Selim, 'beyond all doubt. This supposed, I do not believe -they will refuse to execute each a third part of the articles of the -treaty. Yes, this to me seems just: and to you, madam, I commit the -care of disposing them to it.' 'Indeed, Sir,' says Olympia, 'you are a -strange man. I protest, these ladies have no pretentions to Gabalis: -but in order to extricate them and my self from this _embarras_, if -you think me responsible, I will endeavour to discharge the bill of -exchange, which you draw on them.' Selim accepted the offer. Olympia -did honour to her word: and there, madam, is what Selim ought to have -informed you of." - -"I excuse him," says the favorite: "Olympia was not so good an -acquaintance, that I should condemn him for having forgot her. I cannot -imagine whither you go to hunt out that sort of women: indeed, prince, -your conduct is that of a man, who has no desire to lose a castle." - -"Madam, to me it seems, as if you had entirely changed your notions -within these few days," answered Mangogul: "do me the favour to -recollect the first trial of my ring, which I proposed to you; and you -will see, it was not my fault that I have not lost it ere now." - -"Yes," replied the Sultana, "I know, you have sworn to me, that I -should be excepted out of the number of speaking Toys; and that since -that time you have applied to such women only as have forfeited -their character; to an Amina, a Zobeida, a Thelis, a Zulica, whose -reputations were already pretty well settled." - -"I grant," says Mangogul, "that it would be ridiculous indeed to rely -on those Toys: but for want of others, I was necessitated to confine -myself to them. I have already told you, and I now repeat it: good -company with respect to Toys is scarcer than you think; and if you -will not resolve to gain yourself----" - -"I," interrupted Mirzoza smartly, "I shall never have a castle while I -live, if I must use those means for obtaining one. A speaking Toy! Fy! -That is so indecent.----Prince, in one word, you know my reasons, and -with great seriousness I now reiterate my menaces." - -"But, either do not complain of my trials, or at least hint at some -persons, to whom you think we may have recourse: for I am quite uneasy -that the affair is not terminated. Libertin Toys, and what next? -Libertin Toys, and always Libertin Toys." - -"I have great confidence," says Mirzoza, "in Egle's Toy; and I wait -with impatience for the end of the fortnight which you demanded of me." - -"Madam," replied Mangogul, "that term expired yesterday; and while -Selim was telling you stories of the old court, I learnt from Egle's -Toy, that, thanks to the ill humor of Celebi, and the constant -attendance of Almanzor, it's mistress can do you no service." - -"Ah! Prince," cry'd the favourite, "what have you said?" "'Tis fact," -replied the Sultan; "I will regale you with that story some other time: -but in the mean while seek another string to your bow." - -"Egle, the virtuous Egle, has at length given herself the lye," says -the favorite in a surprize; "indeed I cannot recover myself." "I see -you are quite unhinged," replies Mangogul, "and know not whither to -turn yourself." - -"Not so," says the favorite; "but I own to you that I depended much on -Egle." "Pray think no more about it," added Mangogul; "only tell us if -she was the only virtuous woman that you know." - -"No, Prince, there are a hundred others, and amiable women too, whom -I will name to you," replied Mirzoza. "I will answer, as much as for -myself, for----for----" - -Mirzoza stop'd short, without having pronounced any one name. Selim -could not refrain from smiling, and the Sultan from bursting out into -laughter, at the favorite's embarrassment, who knew so many virtuous -women, and could not recollect any one. - -Mirzoza, piqued at this, turned to Selim, and said: "pray, Selim, help -me out, you, who are so great a connoisseur. Prince," continued she -directing her discourse to the Sultan, "apply to----whom shall I name? -prithee, Selim, assist me." "To Mirzoza," says Selim. "You make your -court to me very ill," replied the favorite. "I am not afraid of the -trial, but I abhor it. Name some one else quickly, if you would have -me pardon you." - -"One may try," says Selim, "if Zaide has found the reality of the ideal -lover, which she formed to herself, and to whom she was formerly wont -to compare all those who made love to her." - -"Zaide?" replys Mangogul. "I must own that she is a very proper subject -to make me lose." "She is," added the favorite, "perhaps the only -woman, whose reputation has been spared by the prude Arsinoe and the -coxcomb Janeki." - -"This is strong," says Mangogul: "but the trial of my ring is a better -argument. Let us go directly to her Toy. - - "_That Oracle is surer much than Calchas._" - -"How," adds the favorite smiling: "you retain your Racine, like a -player." - - - - -CHAP. XLIX. - -_Twenty-ninth Trial of the Ring._ - -Zuleiman and Zaide. - - -Mangogul, without answering the favorite's joke, departed instantly, -and went to Zaide's house. He found her retired in a closet, at a small -table, on which he observed some letters, a portrait, and some trifles -scatter'd here and there, which came from a cherished lover, as it -was easy to presume, by the fondness she expressed for them. She was -writing; tears ran down her cheeks, and wetted the paper. Every now and -then she kiss'd the portrait with transport opened the letters, wrote -some words, returned to the portrait, snatched up the above mentioned -trifles, and pressed them to her breast. - -The Sultan's astonishment was incredible; he had never seen any tender -woman, but the favorite and Zaide. He thought himself beloved by -Mirzoza: but did not Zaide love Zuleiman better still? And were not -this pair the only true lovers of Congo. - -The tears, which Zaide shed in writing, were not tears of sorrow. 'Twas -love that made them flow. And in that moment, a delicious sentiment, -which arose from a certainty of possessing the heart of Zuleiman, was -the only one that affected her. "Dear Zuleiman," cry'd she, "how I love -thee! how dear thou art to me! How agreeably thou employest me! In -those instants, when Zaide has not the happiness of seeing thee, she -writes to thee how much she is thine: separated from Zuleiman, his love -is the only conversation which gives her pleasure." - -Zaide was thus far advanced in her amorous meditation, when Mangogul -pointed his ring at her. Immediately he heard her Toy send forth a sigh -and repeat the first words of her mistress's monology. "Dear Zuleiman, -how I love thee! how dear thou art to me! how agreeably thou employest -me!" Zaide's heart and Toy were too well agreed, to vary in their -discourse. Zaide was surprized at first; but she was so sure that her -Toy would say nothing, but what Zuleiman might hear with pleasure, that -she wish'd him present. - -Mangogul repeated his trial, and Zaide's Toy repeated with a soft -tender voice: "Zuleiman, dear Zuleiman, how I love thee! how dear -thou art to me!" "Zuleiman," says the Sultan, "is the happiest -mortal of my empire. Let us abandon this place, where the image of a -happiness greater than mine is presented to my sight, and afflicts -me." Accordingly he withdrew, and went to his favorite with an air of -inquietude and pensiveness. "Prince," says she, "what ails you, you -say nothing to me of Zaide?"----"Zaide is an adorable woman, madam," -replied Mangogul. "She loves beyond any thing that ever loved"--"So -much the worse for her," says Mirzoza. "What do you say?" replied the -Sultan.----"I say," answers the favorite, "that Kermades is one of the -most disagreeable persons of Congo; that interest and the authority of -the parents made that match; and that there never was a couple worse -sorted than Kermades and Zaide." - -"But, madam," replies Mangogul, "it is not her husband that she -loves"----"Who then?" says Mirzoza.----"'Tis Zuleiman," replies -Mangogul----"Adieu then to the Porcelains and the little Sapajou," -added the Sultana----"Ah!" says Mangogul whispering to himself, "this -Zaide has struck me: she pursues me, she occupies my thoughts; I must -absolutely see her again." Mirzoza interrupted him by some questions, -which he answered in monosyllables. He refused a game of piquet which -she proposed, complain'd of a head-ach which he counterfeited, retired -to his appartment, went to bed without supping, which he had never -done before, and had no sleep. The charms and tenderness of Zaide, the -qualities and happiness of Zuleiman tormented him the whole night. - -One may easily imagine, that he had no business so much in his head -this day, as to return to Zaide. He walk'd out of his palace, even -without enquiring after Mirzoza, the first time that ever he fail'd in -this point. He found Zaide in the same closet as the preceding day, and -Zuleiman with her; who held his mistresses hands between his own, and -had his eyes fixed on her. Zaide on her knees, and inclining forward, -darted glances animated with the most ardent passion on Zuleiman. They -continued some time in this attitude: but both in the same instant -yielding to the violence of their desires, they rush'd into each others -arms, and embraced with eagerness. The profound silence, which had -hitherto reigned about them, was disturbed by their sighs, the sound -of their mutual kisses, and some inarticulated words, which slip'd -from them----"You love me!"----"I adore you"----"Will you love me -constantly?"----"Alas! the last sigh of my life shall be for Zaide!----" - -Mangogul overwhelm'd with sorrow, threw himself into an easy chair, -and covered his eyes with his hand. He dreaded seeing things, which -are easily imagined, and yet did not happen. After a silence of some -moments, "Ah! dear and tender lover," says Zaide, "why have I not -always found you such as you are at present? I should not love you the -less, nor should I have any reproach to throw on myself.----But you -weep, dear Zuleiman. Come, dear and tender lover, come, and let me -wipe off your tears. Zuleiman, you cast down your eyes, what ails you? -Pray look on me.----Come, dear friend, come, that I may comfort thee: -cling thy lips on my mouth, breathe thy soul into me, receive mine; -suspend----Ah! no----no"----Zaide finished her discourse with a deep -sigh, and was silent. - -The African author informs us, that this scene touched Mangogul most -sensibly, that he built some hopes on the impotence of Zuleiman, and -that some secret proposals were made on his behalf to Zaide, who -rejected them, and never made any merit of it with her lover. - - - - -CHAP. L. - -_Platonic Love._ - - -"But is this Zaide an unique? Mirzoza is no ways inferior to her in -charms, and I have a thousand proofs of her affection. I desire to be -loved, I am, and who has told me that Zuleiman is more so than I? I -was a fool to envy another's happiness. No, there is no man under the -heavens happier than Mangogul." Thus began the remonstrances, which -the Sultan made to himself. The author has surpressed the rest, and -contents himself with apprizing us, that the prince paid more regard to -them, than to those which his ministers presented him with, and that -Zaide never after returned on his mind. - -One of those evenings, that he was entirely satisfied with his mistress -or with himself, he proposed sending for Selim, to walk in the groves -of the Seraglio. These were verdant closets, where many things may -be said and done without witnesses. In their way thither, Mangogul -turn'd the conversation on the reasons people have for loving. Mirzoza, -mounted on grand principles, and fill'd with idea's of virtue, which -certainly did not suit with her rank, person, or age, maintain'd -that people very frequently loved for the sake of loving; and that -connections begun by a likeness of characters, supported by esteem, and -cemented by mutual confidence, were very lasting and constant; without -any pretensions to favors on the man's side, or on the woman's any -temptation to grant them. - -"Thus it is, Madam," replied the Sultan, "that you have been spoil'd -by romances. In them you have seen hero's respectuous, and princesses -virtuous even to folly; without reflecting that those Beings never -existed but in the brains of authors. If you ask Selim, who thoroughly -well knows the catechism of Cythera, 'what is love?' I would lay a -wager that he would answer you, that love, is nothing else but----" - -"Would you lay a wager," interrupted the Sultana, "that delicacy of -sentiments is but a chimæra, and that without hopes of enjoyment, there -would not be a grain of love in the world? If so, you must certainly -entertain a very bad opinion of the human heart." - -"So I do," replied Mangogul, "our virtues are not more disinterested -than our vices. The brave pursues glory by exposing himself to dangers; -the coward loves tranquility and life; and the lover desires enjoyment." - -Selim declaring himself of the Sultan's party, added, that if two -things happened, love would be banished from society, never more to -make its appearance again. - -"And which are those two things?" says the favorite. "They are," -replied Mangogul, "if you and I, madam, and all the race of mankind, -chanced to lose what Tanzai and Neadarne found in a dream." - -"What! You believe," interrupted Mirzoza, "that without those pitiful -things, there would be neither esteem nor confidence between two -persons of different sexes? A woman adorn'd with talents, wit and -beauty, would not touch? A man bless'd with an amiable person, a fine -genius, and excellent character, would not be heeded?" - -"No, madam," replies Mangogul; "for pray tell me what he would say?" - -"A number of pretty things, which I think would always afford much -pleasure to hear," answers the favorite. - -"Observe, madam," says Selim, "that those things are said every day -without love. No, no, madam, I have complete proofs, that without a -well organised body, there is no love. Agenor, the handsomest young -man of Congo, and the most refined wit of the court, would, if I had -been a woman, in vain shew me his genteel leg, turn his large blue eyes -on me, squander on me the most artful praise, and set himself off with -every other advantage of which he is master; I would say but one word, -and if he did not give an express answer to this word, I might have all -possible esteem for him, but I should not love him." - -"That is positive," added the Sultan, "and you yourself will allow the -justness and utility of this mysterious word, when one loves. You ought -indeed, for your instruction, to cause the conversation of a wit of -Banza with a school-master to be related to you. You could comprehend -in an instant, how the wit, who sustained your thesis, confessed in the -end that he was in the wrong, and that his antagonist reasoned like a -Toy. But Selim, of whom I had it, will you tell the story." - -The favorite imagined, that a story, which Mangogul would not relate -to her, must be very mortifying: and therefore she went into one of -the arbors, without asking it of Selim, and happy it was for him; for -with all his wit, he would have ill satisfied the favorite's curiosity, -or much allarm'd her modesty. But in order to amuse her, and make her -forget the story of the school-master, he related the following. - -"Madam," says the courtier, "in a vast country near the sources of the -Nile, lived a young man, beautiful as Adonis. Before he was eighteen -years of age, all the maidens contended for his heart, and there were -few women, who would not accept of him for their lover. Born with an -amorous heart, he loved as soon as he was in a condition to love. - -"On a certain day, while he was in the temple assisting at the public -worship of the great Pagoda; and was, according to the usual ceremony, -preparing to make the seventeen genuflexions prescribed by the law; the -beauty, with which he was captivated, chanced to pass by, and darted -a glance on him accompany'd with a smile, which threw him into such -distraction, that he lost his poize, fell on his nose, scandalized -the congregation by his fall, forgot the number of genuflexions, and -performed but sixteen. - -"The great Pagoda irritated at the offence and scandal, punished him -cruelly. Hilas, for that was his name, the poor Hilas felt himself -instantly inflamed with the most violent desires, and smack-smooth as -the palm of his hand, deprived of the means of gratifying them. Equally -surprized and grieved at so great a loss, he consulted the Pagoda. -'Thou shalt never be restored to thy pristine state,' answered she -sneezing, 'but between the arms of a woman, who shall not love thee the -less for knowing thy misfortune.' - -"Presumption is generally the companion of youth and beauty. Hilas -fancied that his wit and the comeliness of his person would soon gain -him a heart of nice sentiments; who content with what he had remaining, -would love him for himself, and soon restore to him what he had lost. -He first addrest himself to the lady, who had been the innocent cause -of his misfortune. She was young, brisk, voluptuous and a coquet. Hilas -adored her, and obtained a meeting; where by a train of allurements he -was drawn into the road leading to a place which it was impossible for -him to reach. In vain did he torment himself, and in the arms of his -mistress seek the accomplishment of the oracle: nothing appeared. When -the lady was tired of waiting, she set herself to rights in a moment, -and quitted him. The worst of the affair was, that the foolish girl -told it in confidence to one of her female friends, who, out of her -great discretion, related it but to three or four of hers, who did the -same to as many others: so that Hilas, two days before the darling of -all the sex, was despised, pointed at, and looked on as a monster. - -"The wretched Hilas, cried down in his native country, resolved to -travel, and seek a remedy for his disease in remote climes. He set out -alone, and arrived incognito at the court of the Abyssinian emperor. -The young stranger was singled out by the ladies, and the contest was, -who should have him but Hilas prudently avoided all engagements, in -which he had apprehensions of not finding his account, proportionable -to his certainty that the women who pursued him would not find theirs -in him. But observe and admire the penetration of the sex: 'a man so -young, so comely, and so modest,' said they, 'is quite a prodigy:' and -the union of these qualities in him had almost made them suspect his -real defect; so as, for fear of allowing him what an accomplished man -should have, to refuse him the very thing which he wanted. - -"After having for some time studied the chart of the country, Hilas -linked an acquaintance with a young woman, who, by some unknown -caprice, had passed from refined gallantry to the highest devotion. He -gradually insinuated himself into her confidence, espoused her notions, -copied her practices, handed her in and out of the temples, and -conversed with her so frequently on the vanity of worldly pleasures, -that he insensibly revived her taste, as well as remembrance of them. -They had now, for above a month, frequented the mosques, assisted at -sermons, and visited the sick together, when he prepared himself for -a thorough cure; but all in vain. His devote friend, tho' intimately -acquainted with all the transactions of heaven, knew as well as others, -how a man should be made on earth: and the poor lad lost in a moment -all the fruits of his good works. If any thing consoled him, it was, -that his secret was inviolably kept. One word would have rendered his -disease incurable; but this word was not uttered, and Hilas linked in -with some other pious women, whom he took, one after another, for the -specific ordained by the oracle, and who did not break his enchantment, -because they loved him only for what he was not. The habit, they had -acquired of spiritualizing all objects, was of no service to him. They -required sense, but it was of that sort which springs from pleasure. -Hilas complained that they did not love him. But their answer was, -'pray, sir, are you ignorant, that people should know each other, -before they love; nay, you must acknowledge, that, disgraced as you -are, you are not lovely even when you are known.' - -"'Alas!' said he retiring, 'this pure love, so much talked of, is no -where to be found; this delicacy of sentiments, upon which both sexes -value themselves, is a mere chimæra. The oracle has deceived me, and my -disease is for life.' - -"In his way, he met some of those women, who allow no other commerce -with man, but that of the heart, and who hate a forward spark like a -toad. They so seriously recommended to him to let nothing gross and -terrestrial enter into his views, that he conceived great hopes of his -cure. He complied heartily, and was quite astonished, after the amorous -conversations, which they held with him, that he still remained as he -was. 'I must certainly be cured,' said he to himself, 'but perhaps -otherwise than by words:' and he sought an occasion of placing himself -according to the intentions of the oracle. Thus it soon offered. A -young female platonic, who was excessively fond of walking, led him -into a lonesome wood and when they had penetrated far from the reach -of any impertinent eye, the fair one was seized with a fainting -fit. Hilas threw himself on her, and neglected nothing in his power -to relieve her; but all his endeavours were fruitless: of which she -soon became as sensible as himself. 'Ah! Sir,' cried she, disengaging -herself from his arms, 'what sort of man are you? I shall be very -cautious of ever venturing thus into lonesome places, where I have been -taken so ill, and may dye a hundred times for want of help.' - -"Others knew his condition, pitied him, protested to him, that the -tenderness they had conceived for him, should not change; and never saw -him more. - -"The miserable Hilas, with his graceful figure, and the most refined -sentiments, gave great dissatisfaction to many ladies." - -"Then he was a fool," interrupted the Sultan. "Why did he not address -some of the vestals, of which our monasteries are full? They would be -charmed with him, and he would infallibly receive his cure through a -grate." - -"Prince," replied Selim, "chronicles assure us, that he tried that -method, and found by experience, that the sex of all conditions do not -care to love to their certain loss." "If that be the case," said the -Sultan, "I take his distemper to be incurable." "So did he himself -as well as your highness," continued Selim; "and tired out with -unsuccessful trials, he plunged himself into solitude, on the word of -an infinite number of women, who had expresly declared to him, that he -was useless in society. - -"He had already been several days rambling in a desert, when he -heard some sighs issuing from a lonely place. He listened, the -sighs began again, he drew near, and saw a young maiden, fair as -the morn, her head leaning on her hand, her eyes bathed in tears, -and the rest of her body in a pensive and mournful posture. 'What -seek you here, madam?' said he to her. 'And are these deserts -made for you?' 'Yes,' replied she in a melancholy strain: 'I can -at least afflict myself here quite at my ease.' 'And what is the -cause of your affliction?'--'Alas!'--'Speak, madam, what is the -cause?'----'Nothing'----'How, nothing?'----'No, nothing at all, I say, -is the cause of my grief: two years ago I had the misfortune to offend -a Pagoda, who deprived me of my all: and it was so small a matter, that -in so doing, she gave no great proof of her power. Since that time, all -the men shun me, and will shun me, said the Pagoda, until I meet with -one, who knowing my misfortune, will cleave to me, and love me in the -state, in which I am.' - -"'What do I hear!' cried Hilas. 'This wretch, whom you behold at your -feet, has nothing, and that is his distemper likewise. Some time since -he had the misfortune to offend a Pagoda, who deprived him of all that -he had, and without vanity it was somewhat. From that time all the -women shun him, and will shun him, said the Pagoda, until he meets with -one, who, knowing his misfortune, will cleave to him, and love him in -the state, in which he is.' - -"'Is this possible?' says the young maiden.----'Is what you have told -me true?' says Hilas.----'See,' answered the maiden. 'See,' answered -Hilas. - -"They both convinced each other beyond all doubt, that they were two -objects of the celestial wrath. Their common misfortune united them. -Iphis, this was the young maiden's name, was made for Hilas, Hilas -was made for her. They loved each other in a platonic manner, as you -may easily imagine; for they could not well love otherwise: but in an -instant the inchantment was broken, they uttered cries of joy on the -event, and platonic love vanished. - -"During several months, that they continued together in the desert, -they had full time to be persuaded of their change. When they quitted -it, Iphis was perfectly cured; but as to Hilas, the author says that he -was threatned with a relapse." - - - - -CHAP. LI. - -_Thirtieth and last trial of the Ring._ - -Mirzoza. - - -While Mangogul was entertaining himself with the favorite and Selim, -news was brought him of the death of Sulamek. Sulamek's rise began by -being appointed the Sultan's dancing-master, and that even contrary to -the intentions of Erguebzed: but some intriguing ladies, whom he had -taught certain dangerous steps, pushed him with all their might, and -so bestirred themselves, that he was preferred to Marcel and others, -whose deputy he was not worthy of being. He possessed the spirit of -trifling, the court jargon, the gift of telling diverting stories, and -of amusing children; but he knew nothing of the high dance. When the -post of Grand Vizir became vacant, by dint of cringing, he supplanted -the great Seneschal, who was an indefatigable dancer, but stiff-necked, -and bowed with a bad grace. His ministry was not signalized by any -events glorious to the nation. His enemies, (and who is there without -them? true merit has many) accused him of playing ill on the violin, -and of having no knowledge of choregraphy; of having suffered himself -to be duped by the Pantomimes of Prester John, and to be affrighted by -a bear from Monoémugi, who danced one day before him; of having given -millions to the emperor of Tombur to keep him from dancing, at a time -when he had the gout, and spent yearly five hundred thousand Zecchins -in resin, and more in persecuting all the fidlers, who played any other -minuets but his own: in a word, of having slept fifteen years of a -stretch, at the sound of a cymbal of a clumsy native of Guinea, who -accompanied his instrument with some Congo songs. True it is, that he -had introduced the fashion of Dutch lime trees, &c. - -Mangogul had an excellent heart: he regretted Sulamek, and ordered -him a magnificent burial, with a funeral oration, which the orator -Brrrouboubou was ordered to make. - -On the day appointed for the ceremony, the chief Bramins, the whole -Divan in a body, and the Sultanas led by their eunuchs, went to -the great mosque. Brrrouboubou proved for two hours together, with -surprizing rapidity, that Sulamek had risen to his high station by -superior talents, made prefaces on prefaces, did not forget either -Mangogul or his exploits during the administration of Sulamek; and he -had almost spent himself in exclamations, when Mirzoza, to whom a lye -gave the vapors, fell into a fit of the lethargy. - -Her officers and women ran to her assistance; she was put into -her palanquine, and instantly carried to the Seraglio. Mangogul, -being informed of the danger she was in, ran to her; and the whole -Pharmacopoeia was rummaged. The Garus, general la Motte's drops, the -English drops, were all tried, but to no purpose. The distressed -Sultan, one moment weeping over Mirzoza, the next swearing at -Orcotomus, at length was deprived of all hopes, except some glimmerings -which might remain in his ring. "If I have lost you, delight of my -soul," cried he, "your Toy, as well as your mouth, must keep eternal -silence." - -In an instant he commanded every body to withdraw: he was obeyed; and -being alone with the favorite, he turned his ring on her. But Mirzoza's -Toy, which was tired at the sermon, as it happens to others every -day, and besides had probably a touch of the lethargy, at first only -mutter'd some confused and ill articulated words. The Sultan repeated -the experiment, and the Toy then very distinctly said: "Separated from -you, Mangogul, what would become of me?--Faithful even to the grave, I -would have sought you; and if love and constancy have any recompence -among the dead, dear prince, I would have found you--Alas! without you -the delightful palace where Brama dwells, and which he has promised to -his true believers, would prove a disagreeable residence to me." - -Mangogul, transported with joy, did not perceive that the favorite -was recovering from her lethargy; and that, if he did not turn off -his ring, she would hear the last words of her Toy: which happened -accordingly. "Ah! prince," said she, "what is become of your oaths? You -have then cleared up your unjust suspicions? Nothing has withheld you, -neither the condition I was in, the injury you were doing me, nor the -word you had given me?" - -"Madam," replied the Sultan, "impute not to a shameful curiosity, an -impatience, which the despair for having lost you, has alone suggested -to me. It was not an usual trial of my ring, that I made on you; but -I believed that I might, without breach of promise, make use of a -resource, which restores you to my vows, and secures my heart to you -for ever." - -"Prince," says the favorite, "I believe you; but pray restore the ring -to the Genius, and let not his fatal present disturb your heart or -empire for the future." - -Mangogul immediately made a prayer, and Cucufa appeared. "Almighty -Genius," said Mangogul, "take back your ring, and continue me your -protection". "Prince," answered the Genius, "divide your days between -love and glory. Mirzoza will certainly afford you the first of these -blessings; and I promise you the second." - -At these words the hooded spectre closed the tails of his owls, and -went off, as he came, in a whirling motion. - - -The End. - - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Les Bijoux Indiscrets, or, The -Indiscreet Toys, by Denis Diderot - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LES BIJOUX INDESCRETS, THE INDISCREET TOYS *** - -***** This file should be named 54672-8.txt or 54672-8.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/4/6/7/54672/ - -Produced by Clare Graham & Marc D'Hooghe at Free Literature -(online soon in an extended version, also linking to free -sources for education worldwide ... MOOC's, educational -materials,...) 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