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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #54748 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/54748)
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Irish Penny Journal, Vol. 1 No. 32,
-February 6, 1841, by Various
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: The Irish Penny Journal, Vol. 1 No. 32, February 6, 1841
-
-Author: Various
-
-Release Date: May 20, 2017 [EBook #54748]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IRISH PENNY JOURNAL, FEB 6, 1841 ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Brownfox and the Online Distributed Proofreading
-Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from
-images generously made available by JSTOR www.jstor.org)
-
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-
-
- THE IRISH PENNY JOURNAL.
-
- NUMBER 32. SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 1841. VOLUME I.
-
-[Illustration: HANDSOME KATE KAVANAGH.]
-
-In that fertile district of the county Wexford, the barony of Forth,
-distinguished for its comfortable cottages and general good husbandry,
-lived Dennis Costigan, a rich farmer. His farm was large, well stocked,
-and in high condition; his dwelling-house was furnished as a farmer’s
-house should be, and it was as cleanly and neat as it was commodious.
-His wife was tidy, notable, and good-tempered, and his three children
-were such as would please a father--well-formed in person and virtuous
-in mind. Then, should not our friend Dennis Costigan have been a happy
-man? He would have been so _perhaps_--for there is ever to be a stumbling
-block in our road to happiness--_but_ that the first object that glared
-upon his eyes in each morning’s sun was the white low cottage of his next
-neighbour Miles Kavanagh. Yet that cottage was not an ugly feature in the
-landscape. It was small and low, but as white as the whitest lime could
-make it; it was neatly thatched too, and its small casements were never
-broken or patched. A few honeysuckles and roses crept up its walls, and
-it was surrounded by a hedge of hazels and sallows, that lent it an air
-of comfort and seclusion. Its owner, at least, thought it a pretty spot,
-and that he was a happy man indeed to possess it and its two or three
-adjoining acres; and as he trimmed his hedges, and looked pleasantly on
-all around--the fruits of his industry and labour--he little thought that
-any one could look upon _his_ cot and farm with other eyes than those of
-admiration; and least of all that he, or aught of his, was the source
-of care or annoyance to his wealthier neighbour. And why did wealthy
-Dennis Costigan glance lowringly on this humble tenement? Was it that,
-like his betters, he thought a poor man’s dwelling always an unsightly
-object? and that, like many a grasping spirit, all land convenient to his
-own was misappropriated if not in his possession? It was not so. Dennis
-Costigan envied no man his possessions. He was a right specimen of a
-farmer, independent, upright, honest, and industrious, contented with
-what providence had given him, and willing to help a neighbour with purse
-and hand if required. And if he _did_ grumble a little, and turn away his
-eyes quickly as if in pain, from the cottage we have mentioned, many
-another father with hopeful sons would do the same, for it contained a
-gem that would grace the proudest castle in Ireland--beautiful, charming,
-innocent Kate Kavanagh, but who had no fortune.
-
-One fine morning in August, farmer Costigan sallied forth at the head
-of a regiment of reapers armed for the destruction of a large field of
-wheat, but scarcely had he got outside his yard when he missed two of his
-most efficient men--his two sons.
-
-“Where can those gorsoons ov mine be, boys?” inquired he of the reapers.
-“In the arms ov _Murphy_, to be sure,” answered a little shrill-piped
-fellow, the crack orator of the country, which, and the circumstance of
-his name being alike, procured him the cognomen of “Counsellor Shiel.”
-“In the arms ov Murphy, to be sure, afther thrippin’ it all night on the
-light funtastic toe with that flower ov Forth an’ belle ov the barony,
-Kate Kavanagh.”
-
-“Arrah, can’t ye speak in plain English, man?” thundered the farmer with
-kindling eyes--the name just mentioned always putting him in a passion.
-“What the dickens does I know ov funtastic toes or heels?”
-
-“Very little indeed, _litherally_,” quoth the counsellor, laughing, and
-glancing sarcastically at the farmer’s large feet, cased in tremendous
-brogues shod with hob-nails; “very little _litherally_, but you might
-metaphorically, for all that. But you have no more poethry or bells
-letthers in ye than a bag ov beans!”
-
-“Nor you more common sense than a goose.”
-
-“Stop!” cried the orator suddenly, in a tone of command enough to arrest
-a retreating army, and motioning to the body of reapers. “Stop, one an’
-all ov ye, an’ listen! It would be a sin to let this profane ignirince
-continue longer.” Then addressing our barony Forth farmer with a
-countenance in which pity and ineffable contempt were blended, “Is it in
-the nointeenth centhery that you call me a goose, by way ov contimpt? Oh
-ignorant of nathral histhry, jography, bells letthers, pelite litherature
-altogether! For, know, onforthenate man, that it was the _cackle_ ov that
-same illustrious baist, a goose, that saved what?--where do you think?”
-
-“Yer mother’s hen-roost from the fox, is it?”
-
-“No, haithen, but imparial Rome!!!”
-
-The might, the majesty of the “counsellor’s” tones and gestures as he
-uttered the words, struck amazement into the hearts of his hearers! They
-had considered him a clever fellow, but by no means the great man he then
-appeared! Enchanted with his eloquence, not a few of his auditors were
-certain that if he were in Parliament, he would do more for Ireland than
-Mr O’Connell and all his friends; while the remainder, as much delighted
-with his energy, lamented that “the craithur wasn’t two fut higher, for
-he had a great spirit intirely!”
-
-The happy “counsellor” perceived the impression he had produced, and in
-his altitude was proceeding to tell them when and how “imparial Rome” was
-saved, when his attention was arrested by an approaching object, and with
-an instantaneous change of attitude and tone he exclaimed,
-
- “‘But, soft! what light from yonder _meadow_ breaks?
- It is the aist, an’ Cath’rine is the sun!’”
-
-as a tall and very handsome girl, with the finest eyes and brightest
-smile imaginable, met them at the entrance of the wheat field.
-
-“A blithe mornin’ to Misther Costigan,” said the maiden, “an’ the same to
-all the raipers!”
-
-“Oh! a good morra,” returned Mister Costigan very coldly and with looks
-still colder, “an’ I wondher above all things what is it that takes Miss
-Kavanagh out of her bed so early?”
-
-“Just what ought to rouse many more ov us, Misther Costigan,” replied
-Kate spiritedly--“to help a naibur, an’ I am come to offer ye all the
-’sistance in my power to-day, aither as binder or raiper, whichever ye
-may want worst.”
-
-“I want neither,” returned the farmer gruffly, and turning on his heel;
-“an’, besides, I could not possibly think of puttin’ sitch delicate white
-hands to sitch coorse work!”
-
-“The belle o’ the barony” coloured high at the affront couched in this
-speech, and she hastily answered that “her hands, sitch as they war,
-could earn her bread for her when she required it; an’ if _she_ didn’t
-find them too tendher for work, Misther Costigan needn’t find fault with
-them. But,” added she more kindly, “you have a rough manner but a kind
-heart, Dennis Costigan, an’ I won’t mind what you say to me. Moreover,
-I’ll stay with ye to-day, whether you be willin’ or not, aither as binder
-or raiper.”
-
-Dennis Costigan, “kind as his heart” was, would have given a sovereign
-of “bright goold” that Kate Kavanagh and her bright eyes were a few miles
-off at the moment; but as he saw that she carried all before her, he
-thought it better not to give her any further offence, and accordingly,
-but with a very bad grace, he accepted her services.
-
-“Where be’s Jem and Ned Costigan this mornin’?” whispered Kate to the
-counsellor, who was flourishing away gallantly at her side.
-
-The man of eloquence flung himself into an attitude, laid his hand upon
-his heart, and looked languishingly, as he “assured her that her charms
-were railly too potently enfluential over the hearts ov her admirers,
-as she not only deprived thim ov the needful refreshment of nathur,
-oblivious slumber, but she also hendhered them from doin’ their daily
-manual imploymints. For instance,” said he, “you see _Saul_, the orb ov
-day, is high up in his meraydian hemisphare, an’ those inamoured swains
-are still pressin’ their beds, or rather cooches, in the arms ov Murphy,
-mainin’ sleep or Somnus----”
-
-“An’ what have I to do with that?” said Kate, laughing heartily. “Do ye
-think I gave thim a sleepy potion?”
-
-“Ah! my beautiful flower ov Forth!” sighed out the sentimental
-counsellor, “any thing but a sleepy potion do you give yer lovers! if
-’tis anything, sure I am ’tis a draught to banish sleep for ever! But
-consarnin’ those vagrant truints ye spaik ov, I ondherstand that you
-kep thim up beyant their ushial hours ov repose last night, admirin’
-yer graceful movemints in yer _Turpfiscorian_ revels, mainin’ the dance
-at Judy Colfer’s; an’ that man, their father, who is not to be moved
-with ‘concord of sweet sounds,’ or any sounds at all but the chink ov
-money, almost snapt my head off a while ago bekase I tould him so. Ah!
-my Catherine dear, I fear you’ll incounther opposition in that quarther.
-But ‘_nel desperantum_,’ say I, which mains in plain English, ‘never
-dispair.’”
-
-Catherine said nothing, but instantly began to sing, at the top of her
-fine rich voice, a song the counsellor had composed in praise of her, and
-shortly afterwards she had the pleasure to see the two sleepy truants
-bounding across the yard towards the wheat-field, as if her well-known
-notes had awaked them.
-
-While this magical song was thrilling on all hearts, Kate Kavanagh,
-the witching Kate! stood apart from the others, singing and laughing
-alternately, her reaping-hook resting on one arm, and dressed in the
-every-day fashion of the place--the striped linsey short petticoat, and
-loose bedgown or wrapper, a dress that would make an ordinary woman
-frightful, and straw hat, the leaf of which, turned up before and pinned
-to the crown, displayed her sable locks and fair high forehead to
-perfection. And many a side-glance the anxious father, Dennis Costigan,
-cast at this arrangement of Kate’s headgear, as he broadly hinted that
-“for sartin Miss Kavanagh’s complexion would be intirely spiled if she
-showed it too much to the sun.”
-
-“Tut!” was Kate’s good-humoured reply, “‘the life ov an ould hat is to
-cock it,’ as we say in the counthry. The leaf ov it was flappin’ in
-my eyes; the lads couldn’t see me, nor I them, so a pin settled the
-bisness;” and nothing could become her fine Spanish face better, though
-her toilet was made in perfect carelessness, for dashing Kate had other
-charms to depend on besides beauty. Imprimus, she was the first dancer
-in the country, outdoing her dancing-master himself at “jigs, reels,
-thribbles, doubles, hornpipes, and _petticoatees_.” She was a _killing_
-dancer in both senses of the word, for no boy or girl could keep it up
-with the spirit of Kate Kavanagh, and she generally disabled six or
-eight prime beaus at every “hop” she appeared at, which was nearly every
-night. The worst of it was (as the sorely annoyed fathers and mothers
-of the neighbourhood said), “though she fairly kilt all the boys that
-danced with her, yet sorra one but herself would sarve them for a partner
-after all!” Then she was, as Orator Shiel said, “Apollyo in petticoats
-for singin’!” and songs of love, murder, hunting, war, and sea, would
-charm with double effect, borne on the musical notes of Kate Kavanagh.
-In short, she was “metal most,” but also too “attractive;” and loud
-complaints and grievances at last came thundering on her devoted head.
-“Boys growin’ lazy and crazy--work undone or done badly--time spent an’
-mis-spent--messages forgotten and mistaken--girls neglected--matches
-broken--eternal dancin’, fightin’, black eyes an’ bloody noses”--all, all
-was laid in a bundle at the door of handsome, animated, dashing, yet very
-innocent Kate Kavanagh.
-
-“What will be done with her at all at all?” iterated the suffering
-fathers and mothers all round the country. “What will we do with her at
-all?”
-
-“I’ll tell ye, naiburs,” responded one of the elders, as a body of them
-returned from chapel on the Sunday after Mosey Fortune’s great “flare
-up,” at which three topping bloods fought for the honour of first
-figuring on the floor with the “belle o’ the barony.” “Let a respectable
-dacent naibur, sitch as Dennis Costigan here for example, go to her
-father as a friend to advise him to get his daughther married out ov
-hand, for fear some harm will happen. An’, throth, harm _will_ happen;
-for if she’s not the destruction ov herself, she will be the ruination
-ov others. So, Misther Costigan, let you be the man to spake to Miles
-Kavanagh.”
-
-“Agreed,” said Dennis Costigan, who was one of the party, and also a
-suffering father; and on the ensuing Thursday he intended to proceed on
-the mission.
-
-In the meantime, Kate Kavanagh, never dreaming of the grand hubbub
-about her, assisted to cut down Mr Costigan’s wheat; and so full of
-songs, jokes, and attractions was she, that it was observed, even by
-the farmer himself, that the men, old and young, surpassed themselves
-at reaping that day. Indeed, Kate set them an excellent pattern; for,
-notwithstanding that her tongue moved in double-quick time, she took care
-that her hands should be equally nimble; and at nightfall, thanks to Kate
-and the influence of her black eyes, sharp and bright as her sickle, the
-very large field of wheat was cut down, bound, and stooked to the owner’s
-satisfaction. Yet, after all, the “flower of Forth” bloomed too near
-Dennis, or rather his sons, to allow him to be perfectly content.
-
-“How yer father squints at me!” observed Kate to James Costigan, her
-ardent admirer, and to whom, by the way, she contrived to keep close
-during the day. “He looks at me as if I was a crab apple, an’ he had just
-taken a bite. Wouldn’t it be the best ov a good joke, now, if I’d make
-him change his tune in spite ov himself?”
-
-Jem looked at her very tenderly as he replied, “Ye do as you like with
-_us_, Kate darlin’, but I doubt yer power over my father. He is flent to
-purty girls, an’ above all to you.”
-
-“We shall see,” said Kate; and that very evening, between coaxing and
-pulling, she actually brought the portly farmer, albeit in no dancing
-mood, to dance with her (when Peter Hamilton and his violin _happened_
-in after supper), to the amazement and amusement of a kitchen full of
-spectators, though, as honest Dennis confessed while wiping his broad
-brows, “he didn’t take sitch a spree for ten years afore!” Handsome Kate
-at the end of it looked knowingly at Jem Costigan, as much as to say,
-“You see this, and you’ll see more.”
-
-The next morning an express arrived to Dennis Costigan with the news
-that his sister’s daughter, Miss Peggy Malone, was about to “change her
-state,” and that her uncle’s company was required at the wedding.
-
-“Och, murther!” cried the farmer when he had sufficiently expressed his
-surprise at the news, “this ould brown coat ov mine will never do for a
-weddin’!--turn it which way I will, it looks shabby enough--pieced at
-the elbows an’ torn at the cuffs! So, Jem, asthore, take the black mare
-an’ set off this minnit to Waxford, an’ buy me the makin’s ov a coat an’
-waistcoat ov good green cloth; it always became my complexion. An’, Jem,
-for yer head don’t make any mistake this time. Those three months past
-you’re full ov mistakes, an’ nothin’ else.”
-
-“Is it me makes mistakes!” quoth Jem indignantly; “that’s what I never
-did yet, except wanst or twice, an’ I’ll not begin now.” And he mounted
-the mare, and turned her head towards Wexford. But as he should pass
-Miles Kavanagh’s cottage, “it would be only right an’ proper to ax if he
-or Kate had any commands for town.” And--and--when he got to Wexford, he
-quite forgot the colour his father had ordered, and, thinking of Kate
-Kavanagh’s hair and eyes, he bought black.
-
-Well, never was man in a greater fume than our friend Dennis Costigan
-when he saw his son’s purchase. “Black! black!” he repeated again and
-again, as he held up the cloth and indignantly scowled at it and its
-purchaser, “black for a weddin’! Oh, ye born nathural! what on earth put
-it into yer head to buy black for a weddin’? But I see the thruth in yer
-eyes this minnit! Ye seen that--that--plague upon earth, Kate Kavanagh,
-afore ye wint to Waxford, an’ she, as ushial, put every wise thought out
-ov yer head. Black coat at a weddin’!--who ever seen the like afore?”
-
-It was in vain that poor Jem explained that “the cloth was not all out
-black, but what was called Oxfert-grey--a mighty ginteel colour, an’
-sitch as was worn by all fathers ov families.”
-
-“That’s as much as to say that it is worn by all ould min?” said the
-father, nothing better pleased. “What a judge ye are! But as the cloth
-is bought, I must keep it I suppose, an’ I’ll take it to the tailor’s
-myself, for fear ye’d make some other confounded blundher. I wouldn’t
-wondher if ye’d tell him to make it a spincer-jacket without skirts, ye
-have sitch a janious for mistakes!” And putting the parcel of cloth under
-his arm, he set out for Jemmy Nowlan’s domicile.
-
-There he saw no one but the tailor’s old mother sitting very melancholy
-over the fire.
-
-“Can I see yer son Jemmy, widda Nowlan?” asked the farmer.
-
-“Och, asthore machree, Misther Costigan,” said the widow, setting up a
-keen, and rocking herself about, “ye may see him an’ welkim, but a quare
-sight ye’ll see whin ye sees him; an’, linamachree! the worst ov it is,
-he can’t see ye now.”
-
-“Why, what’s the matther?” demanded Mr Costigan alarmed. “I hope he’s not
-dead?”
-
-“He’s not dead, but he’s kilt intirely,” sobbed the distressed parent,
-“wid the lambastin’ he got ere-last night at the dance at Dinny Doran’s.”
-
-“Well, an’ what takes _him_ to dances?” said the farmer in a heat. “Sure
-the like shred ov him ought to stay at home an’ mind his bisness.”
-
-“Pulliliew! is that the feelin’ ye has for yer fella-craithurs, Misther
-Costigan. But indeed I often sed that same to him myself. ‘Stay at home,
-honey,’ I says to him, ‘an’ don’t be losin’ yer sleep an’ flittherin’ yer
-slippers at them dances.’ ‘Hould yer whisht, mother,’ he’ll say to me
-thin (for he is a mighty obaydient child), ‘love sthrikes the little as
-well as the big, an’ I wouldn’t have a sowl above buttons if I wouldn’t
-take every opportunity ov meetin’ an’ coortin’ Kate Kavanagh.’ So ye see
-the win’ sits in that quarther, Misther Costigan.”
-
-Mr Costigan actually stamped on the floor with passion when he heard the
-name of Kate Kavanagh; and as the tailor’s mother perceived unusual anger
-in his countenance, she flattered herself that it was all sympathy for
-her “darlint Jemmy,” and she hastened to give him the particulars “ov
-the murdher” foul and unnatural. “So now, my darlint Misther Costigan,”
-she concluded, “his poor eyes is black an’ blue, and closed up into the
-bargain, an’ he couldn’t handle a needle if it was for Misther Grogan
-Morgan himself--God bless him for the fine lan’lord that he is.”
-
-If poor Mrs Nowlan knew but all, little sympathy had her wealthy visitor
-for her battered son, when he understood the cause of his woes, and her
-pathetic touches of tenderness went for nothing. Muttering something
-about “hanging all fools and mothers of fools,” he took a gruff leave of
-the widow, and returned home with his cloth. There was no other tailor
-nearer than Wexford, and it was fated that he should wear his old brown
-coat at the wedding. But that was not his only annoyance. The evening
-before he set out on his journey, he found that the horse he intended
-to ride wanted two shoes; and fearing to trust his sons (both of whom
-were smitten with the “belle o’ the barony”) in their present plight,
-he brought the animal to the forge himself. No smith was to be found.
-“Arrah, where the d----l is he?” cried the farmer, quite exasperated, and
-addressing a girl standing knitting at the door of a house near the forge.
-
-“Sorra bit ov us knows, Misther Costigan,” replied the damsel; “but we’re
-guessin’ that he is either at the public house, or at Miles Kavanagh’s,
-hankerin’ afther his daughther, for betwixt the two places he spinds the
-most ov his time.”
-
-Dennis Costigan said nothing, but he raised up his hands and
-eyes--eloquence more expressive than words. Kate Kavanagh again!
-
-As he returned with his unshod horse, he pondered while jogging along.
-“_What_ should be about that Kate Kavanagh above all girls to set a whole
-parish astray?” And as he could find no solution of the enigma short of
-sorcery, he set it down that she was “Ould Nick in petticoats!” “My two
-hopeful sons is mad afther her.” said he, soliloquising; “the unfortunate
-counsellor is fairly cracked about her; the smith is grown wild, an’ the
-tailor knocked stupid; heaven only knows what way the carpinther an’
-mason is, for she has all the thrades, I’m thinkin’; an’ now all I pray
-is that she may charm some thrav’ling tinker, an’ that he may carry her
-off body an’ bones for the pace ov the counthry!” Ah! little did honest
-Dennis know who was to be the next victim of merciless Kate Kavanagh!
-
-Well, next morning he set out for Bargie, after taking an affectionate
-farewell of his good little wife, and after cautioning her repeatedly to
-have a constant look-out after the “boys and Kate Kavanagh.” Fain would
-he have persuaded his eldest son to accompany him to the wedding, but
-Jem pathetically pleaded “pains in his bones an’ headache” (heartache he
-should have said), and his father very unwillingly set off without him.
-
-Our farmer had only ridden a few miles, when, coming to a village,
-like a true son of the soil he should stop at the “public” to taste
-the “mountain dew.” Early as it was in the morning, it appeared there
-were others as interestingly engaged, and vociferating loudly on some
-important topic. Whatever it might be, our friend Dennis thought it could
-be no concern of his, and without making any inquiry he called for his
-dandy of punch. Overhead the revellers kept up a most astounding debate;
-presently were heard shouts, curses, hustling, and blows, and the next
-instant half a dozen combatants came head foremost tumbling down the
-steep and narrow stairs together!
-
-“Fight it out fair, ye vilyens,” roared the hostess, as her face flamed
-and her eye fired, “but fight it out ov _my_ house. Into the street with
-every mother’s son ov ye, or know for what!” and seizing a pewter beer
-quart, she leaped over the counter, and pummelled the backs and heads of
-all within her reach, till she actually cleared them out of her house.
-
-“What an uproar they make in a quiet place!” said she, as she returned to
-Dennis Costigan, who was laughing heartily at the spree.
-
-Now, there is something extraordinary in the blood of an Irishman. A
-fight is his choicest amusement, and if he is not a principal actor in
-one, he must be a spectator. Even our sober barony Forth farmer was
-excited, and eagerly asked “what it was all about?”
-
-“All about nonsinse,” replied Mrs Boniface, “all about nonsinse when it
-is about a woman. All the uproar was about a naibur ov yours, Misther
-Costigan, who has turned the heads ov some ov our lads here, an’ many
-others besides--one Miss Kavanagh. Do you know her?”
-
-“Know her!” exclaimed Dennis, and suddenly set down his glass on the
-counter, just as he was about to put it to his lips.
-
-“What’s the matther, Mr Costigan?” asked the landlady alarmed; “don’t you
-like yer punch?”
-
-“Oh, I likes it well,” returned Mr Costigan, in a sickly tone, “but
-somehow there’s an all-overness over me that makes me very quare at
-times, but it will wear off. Here’s to yer health, Mrs Roche!” and gulped
-off the punch at a draught, as if he didn’t know well what he was about.
-He then proceeded on his journey, inwardly determined not to stop again,
-lest he might hear the dreaded name before he arrived at his sister’s,
-and there he trusted he was free from the infliction. Nevertheless, the
-name was mentioned at the wedding, and our farmer, under the influence
-of good cheer and hilarity, laughed loud and long as his brain began to
-whirl while thinking of the strange combination of circumstances that
-brought Kate Kavanagh for ever before him.
-
-At this wedding was a certain buck of the name of Magrah. He was a rake
-and a spendthrift, but, nevertheless, was artful and designing. He had
-heard of the beauty of Kate Kavanagh, and knowing that Mr Costigan
-was a neighbour of hers, he tormented him with questions about her,
-particularly “if _she had a fortune_?”
-
-For the first time in his life Dennis Costigan told an untruth with an
-evil intention. He protested that Kate Kavanagh had a fortune, and a
-good one too; he praised her person and industrious habits; and at last
-became so zealous in his friendship to his absent neighbours as to give a
-cordial invitation to Mr Magrah to his house, for the purpose of seeing
-and being introduced to the “belle o’ the barony,” but never once asking
-what sort of person this Magrah was, or what was his means of living.
-
-Mr Pat Magrah very eagerly accepted the invitation, returned with Mr
-Costigan, and was introduced to and charmed with handsome Kate Kavanagh,
-and he found his quarters so good, and his time pass so agreeably, that
-instead of a week he remained a month in the neighbourhood of the “flower
-of Forth,” quite enamoured with her beauty and attractions.
-
-Dennis Costigan was delighted. Like a true friend to one or all of the
-parties, he encouraged the courtship by every means in his power--even
-lending money to the suitor to enable him to cut a dash in the eyes of
-Miles Kavanagh and his daughter.
-
-At length the Bargie hero returned to his home for a short time,
-protesting that “he was quite confused an’ ashamed ov inthrudin’ so long
-on Misther Costigan’s hospitality, but that he would sartinly come again
-to look afther his sweetheart, for none but he should thransplant the
-‘flower ov Forth.’”
-
-On the third evening after his departure, as part of the family of the
-Costigans were seated round the fire, Ned, our friend Dennis’s younger
-son, ran in all in a hurry, exclaiming, “News, friends, news! there’s
-a runaway match on the road to-night, for Denny Doran met a couple on
-horseback, sweepin’ like the win’ into Waxford, an’ he’ll take his oath
-Pat Magrah was the man, let who will be the woman!”
-
-“An’ Kate Kavanagh was sartinly the woman!” exclaimed Dennis Costigan, in
-undisguised delight, while his son James turned as pale as death. But the
-joy of the one and despair of the other was of short duration; for in the
-next instant Kate Kavanagh herself rushed in breathless, and apparently
-in much uneasiness. “Where’s Mary Costigan?” cried she anxiously, and
-examining the group round the fire. All seemed surprised and alarmed at
-her anxious appearance and inquiry, and Mrs Costigan repeatedly called
-her daughter, but got no answer.
-
-“Oh! ’tis too true!” said Kate; “an’, Misther Costigan, I’m sorry to have
-to say it. The scapegrace you brought to this neighbourhood has carried
-off your own daughter! My father met them on the road to Waxford, an’
-knew them.”
-
-It would be impossible to describe the confusion of the family at this
-announcement. For a time all were stupified with astonishment. Then the
-brothers, giving vent to their rage in curses, sprang to their feet, and
-rushed out of the house; while the father, stung by many conflicting
-feelings, hung his head and remained powerless.
-
-“My child! my tendher dutiful child!” cried the distracted mother,
-wringing her hands in an agony of weeping. “My child! my child!” “Whisht!
-woman,” at last roared the farmer in a voice of thunder, unwilling to
-let his supposed enemy have the satisfaction to see their distress and
-confusion. “Whisht, I say! what has she done but got a good husband, what
-they are all strivin’ for, young an’ ould? Whisht, I say! or if ye must
-lament, lament that ye didn’t keep sitch notions out of her head till she
-was sixteen, any how.”
-
-“She was full seventeen, Dennis,” interposed the mother, in all her
-grief, as a woman anxious to defend her sex. “Don’t say the craithur was
-forward beyant her years, for she was full seventeen last October.”
-
-Up started the farmer. “We’ll soon end that argamint,” said he, seizing a
-candle, and striding furiously towards the parlour; “I have her age down
-in black an white, in my pocket-book.”
-
-They could hear him unlock his desk and searching amongst papers; then
-followed impatient mutterings, and at length a loud groan as if body
-and soul were parted. All now rushed to the parlour, where they found
-poor Costigan the image of heart-broken despair. He stood with his eyes
-fixed and his face as pale as marble: one hand grasped a pocket-book that
-seemed torn and empty, while the other hung listless by his side.
-
-“Marcy ov Heaven!” exclaimed the trembling wife, clinging to him for
-support, “what new misforthin’ has befallen us now?”
-
-The farmer groaned heavily ere he replied; and then it was in a broken,
-sunken voice--“We’re ruined, Alley! an’ robbed, an’ I desarve it! The
-vilyen has not only taken our child from us, but robbed us of one
-hundhred pounds! See, here is the desk, bruck open, and the pocket-book
-empty, an’ she did it at his instigation!”
-
-This was blow on blow! Mrs Costigan was a weak and delicate woman. She
-fell senseless to the ground, and was borne to her bed, from which she
-never rose again.
-
-And thus was Dennis Costigan’s treachery rewarded. He had brought a
-wretch to his house for the purpose of introducing him as an admirer
-to his honest neighbour’s daughter, without once inquiring into his
-character or circumstances; and the young fellow had cleverly turned the
-visit to account; for instead of portionless Kate Kavanagh, he carried
-off young and pretty Mary Costigan, and her hundred pounds!
-
-It is certain our barony Forth farmer felt this triple blow most
-severely, and the more so from his consciousness that he deserved it,
-and prepared the way for his misfortunes himself. But he was doomed to
-feel his lapse from honour and fair dealing yet more acutely, when on the
-day of his wife’s death he was accosted by his neighbour Miles Kavanagh,
-as he was droopingly wandering about his fields, shunning the crowds
-collected at the wake.
-
-“Misther Costigan,” began Miles abruptly--for the Irish peasant feels
-too warmly to take time to shape his gratulations or condolences with
-the go-about refinements of delicacy--“I am sorry for yer thrubble this
-day, an’ the more so bekase Mrs Costigan was ever the kind and friendly
-naibur, that never changed from hot to could like others. [Dennis
-winced.] I also heerd ov yer loss in other respects, but that loss will
-be soon made up, plaise God. In the main time, Misther Costigan, ye might
-want a thrifle of ready cash for the expinses ov the wake an’ berrin’;
-an’ as I’ve scraped together a matther ov a few pounds for the rint, but
-which is not called for yet, I’d be very glad to lind it to a friend, an’
-may be you’d take it, an’ ye may pay me whin you plaise. Faix, sitch poor
-men as me ought never to keep money long in the house for fear ov the
-vilyens ov rogues.”
-
-Dennis Costigan was unable to speak, and without accepting the money he
-motioned his honest neighbour away, and turned off abruptly. But Miles
-Kavanagh was not a man to be deterred from doing a kind action.
-
-“Hut-tut! Mr Costigan,” he continued, “don’t turn away from an ould
-naibur an’ friend. You think now that I bear a grudge to ye on account ov
-that vilyen ye brought down to court my Kate. I know all, ye see; an’
-if I do, I freely forgive ye. Fathers, an’ ’specially rich fathers sitch
-as you, are a little partiklar, I suppose, about who their sons would
-marry, an’ it’s all right. But Dennis Costigan ought to have known us
-betther! He ought to have known that neither I nor my child would seek
-to enther any man’s family against his will, for he never seen any mean
-or disaivin’ ways in us. But all’s forgiven an’ forgotten now; so don’t
-be the laist suspicious ov us, but take the money that I freely offer,
-if you want it, an’ you’ll make a poor man an’ naibur happy. Turn about,
-man, an’ let us live in paice an’ good will while we’re on the earth
-together.”
-
-Dennis Costigan stood, perpendicular as a poplar, with his back to
-Miles Kavanagh while he was speaking, and the latter thought, from the
-stiffness of the farmer’s air, that he had nerved himself up to break
-sooner than bend, and that he was determined to retain his sturdy pride
-to the last, and perhaps to cut with him altogether. To Miles’s surprise,
-however, when he ceased speaking, portly Dennis wheeled right about,
-still perpendicular, seized the hand of his honest friend, and, as if the
-mere touch of a sympathising friend communicated a softness he was unused
-to, he wept aloud! yes, wept! and they were the first bitter tears he had
-ever shed.
-
-“But for the sake of human nathur, which I am glad to see so good,” said
-Dennis Costigan afterwards, “I’d most rather ye’d have abused me; I could
-have borne it betther!”
-
-Well, months passed over, and still the “belle o’ the barony” was making
-sad havoc with the hearts of the beaus. She had already all the trades
-enlisted under her banner, and it was a nice question whether she would
-spare one bachelor in an entire parish, or not. Fathers and mothers still
-complained, and the girls prayed that Kate Kavanagh were married, and out
-of the way. Matters were daily growing worse and worse, “confusion worse
-confounded,” in the country round.
-
-As a last resource, Dennis Costigan was reminded of his promised mission
-to Miles Kavanagh, to “coax him to settle his daughter out of hand,”
-and for the repose of the neighbourhood he agreed to do so. He now felt
-a warm friendship for both father and daughter, and it would make him
-really happy if he could be the means of assisting pretty Kate to a
-husband every way worthy of her. Still he had not brought himself to wish
-_his_ son married to her, for he had taken it into his head that Jem was
-entitled to a girl with a couple of hundreds at least, and since his late
-loss he was more anxious on that score than ever.
-
-At last, deeming himself bound in honour to delay no longer from
-fulfilling his promise, Mr Costigan gravely proceeded to Miles Kavanagh’s
-cottage. He found the “flower of Forth” busily engaged in her little
-kitchen, scouring her deal tables and chairs, and singing merrily as she
-scoured. The labour had thrown a lovely glow over her fine face, and her
-smile was really bewitching as she welcomed Mr Costigan, and handed him a
-chair.
-
-“Is yer father within, Miss Kavanagh?” inquired Dennis, as kindly as the
-recollection of his son’s untoward situation would permit.
-
-“He is not, Mr Costigan,” Kate replied, “but I think he will be here
-presently, so you have nothing for it but to sit with a wild girl like me
-till he comes in.”
-
-Down plumped Mr Costigan, and to look at him one would imagine he had
-come a-suitoring himself, so awkward and confused did he seem while
-obliged to continue alone with the beautiful “plague upon earth.” He
-turned his head away from her, stuck an old pipe in his mouth for
-employment’s sake, and preserved a dead silence for ten minutes. Kate,
-perceiving his mood, troubled him with little chat. At length, tired
-of waiting for the father, the missionary condescended to address the
-daughter; and she, judging from the contortions of his phiz, thought the
-effort cost him as much as a spasm of cholera morbus.
-
-“Hem! haw! hum! I wondher very much that you don’t think ov changin’ yer
-state, Miss Kavanagh. The marriage life is the happiest life ov all, as
-I know (sighing deeply), an’ I would recommend ye to thry it:” and he
-launched into a long harangue in praise of the honourable state, its
-happiness, comfort, and safety, compared to a single life--so full of
-peril to a female; to all of which our “belle o’ the barony” listened,
-and assented as demurely as could be wished. After lauding the state,
-and urging the necessity of it, he next proceeded to point out the
-most eligible match in his opinion, recommending of all things “an
-independent man, unburthened by fathers, mothers, sisters, or brothers;
-a single man in every sense, with whom she could have everything her own
-way, and no one to interfere;” and he named several whom he considered
-would be unexceptionable, but to all of whom our Kate had a quick and
-characteristic objection, as prompt and ready as if she had anticipated
-the visit of the matrimonial delegate, and guessed his errand. This is a
-specimen of the colloquy. After mentioning several others,
-
-“Well, what do you think ov long Jem Whalen?”
-
-“Why, that one pair of tongs in one house is enough.”
-
-“Oh, that won’t do! What do ye think ov John Barry? he’s a snug, warm
-fella.”
-
-“Warm enough, for he’s the dickens for fightin’!”
-
-“Well, Redmond Connors, the carpinther?”
-
-“He’s a close shaver, but not to my taste.”
-
-“Pullilliew! you’ll never be plaised. Have ye anything to say agin Burn,
-the mason?”
-
-“He’s too great a plastherer to be sincere.”
-
-“An’ what chance has the smith?”
-
-“He won’t forge _my_ fetthers, that’s all.”
-
-“An’ the tailor?”
-
-“Must stitch himself to another.”
-
-Here the dialogue broke off abruptly, for neither the missionary nor the
-maiden could longer refrain from laughing; the former, though a grave and
-reverend signior at all times, was perfectly overcome by Kate’s naiveté
-and archness; and though he was farther than ever from attaining his
-object, he was in perfect good humour. Miles Kavanagh soon after entered
-the cottage, and much was he surprised to find his daughter and Mr
-Costigan tete-a-tete, and on such excellent terms. Nor was the surprise
-lessened, when he saw the farmer sit it out for two hours longer, still
-laughing and still joking, as if he and Kate had ever been the best of
-friends and banterers. At length Mr Costigan heavily arose from his seat,
-and declaring that he would come again on the same business (he forgot
-however to speak to Miles Kavanagh about it), he took his leave.
-
-And he did go again and again; and at the third visit Dennis Costigan
-and Miles Kavanagh retired to an inner apartment. Kate neither knew nor
-wished to know the subject of their confab; but she observed, that as the
-farmer was retiring after the last visit, he and her father shook hands
-as if clenching a bargain. “You’re mighty affectionate!” thought Kate; “I
-wonder yez didn’t kiss!”
-
-As well as I can remember, it was about a fortnight from the day of our
-friend Dennis Costigan’s visit to Miles Kavanagh’s cottage, that Watty
-Colfer (Watty always walks with his head down; mind, his face is an ell
-longer than any other face, so grave and thoughtful is he!) had just got
-inside father Tobin’s gate, and closed it after him, when he saw his
-reverence himself thundering down the avenue on St Patrick, his nag.
-
-“Yer sarvint, sur!” said Watty, very humbly, and hat in hand, and
-propping himself against the shut gate, “could I make so bould as just to
-spake one word to yer rivirince?”
-
-“Not one word!” replied the priest hastily, “if you were the bishop! I am
-in too great a hurry. Lave my way and open the gate.”
-
-“Thin, God help me,” groaned Watty, but still keeping his position, “that
-am neither priest nor bishop; I haven’t the head-piece for sitch great
-min; an’ all clargy must have great heads to keep in the larnin’. Now, is
-it a great weight intirely, sur?”
-
-The priest laughed in spite of his hurry, but as he well knew the man
-he had to deal with, he checked himself immediately, and assuming as
-determined a look as possible under the circumstances, he “commanded the
-slieveen to open the gate for him.”
-
-Watty too knew his man. He knew every variation of the priest’s temper,
-from its usual lake-like placidity, till it got up to boiling-water
-heat. He thought it was beginning to “simmer” a little, but far away yet
-from “bubbling and hissing;” and gratifying his own cool impudence, he
-continued the process of “heating up.”
-
-“Why, thin, indeed, what I have to say won’t keep ye long, sur.”
-
-“Open the gate this instant!” thundered the priest.
-
-“Sartinly, sur,” quoth Watty, turning quickly round and pretending to
-be very busy with the gate; “see this boult now! Och! my curse upon the
-whole corporation ov smiths, includin’ my own dacent uncle who made this
-same gate, an’ so stiff an’ bad, that all I can do won’t shoot back the
-boult! A clever workman is a fine thing! An’ so you won’t listen to what
-I have to say, sur?”
-
-“I can’t, I tell ye. I’m going in all haste to marry a couple.”
-
-“Och! if I knew that, I’d be very sorry to detain your rivirince! What I
-have to say may well keep for another opportunity. See this curst boult
-now! Throth the skin is torn off my fingers strivin’ to pull it back, an’
-yer rivirince in sitch a disperate hurry! But ye have the patience of Job
-himself, beyant all doubt. God help the couple that’s expectin’ ye, sur!
-And who are they, the craithurs?”
-
-The impatient churchman looked at his watch and groaned: but as the
-inexorable gate would not open to let him pass through, he gratified the
-newsmonger with the information that “the couple he was about to marry
-were Dennis Costigan and Catherine, Miles Kavanagh’s daughter.”
-
-“Tunder an’ turf!” exclaimed Mr Colfer, opening his eyes as wide as he
-could, and raising his hands to express the extremity of astonishment.
-“Is it ould Dinnis Costigan, father to Jem, that’s goin’ to be married to
-handsome Kate Kavanagh, the belle o’ the barony?--it’s quite onpossible!”
-
-“It’s not impossible,” said the priest, angrily: “and I see nothing
-extraordinary in her father preferring to give her to a sensible steady
-old man, than to a wild young one. But don’t I see the gate open, and you
-pretending it was bolted? Oh! ye double-dyed slieveen, quit my way this
-moment, or by all that’s good I’ll let you feel the weight of this,” and
-he raised his horsewhip.
-
-“Och! wid all the pleasure in life!” quoth Watty, jumping quickly aside;
-and the gate flew open as if by magic, through which Father Tobin dashed
-at full speed.
-
-Watty then, sound in wind and limb, shot off through the fields--a short
-cut to a certain cross-road, about a mile from the priest’s house, and
-less than a quarter from Miles Kavanagh’s cottage, by which his reverence
-should pass. Puffing a little, he was just in time to gravely touch his
-hat as the priest cantered by. Then raising his voice he shouted after
-him, “Ride aisy, ride aisy, yer rivirince; take things aisy, can’t ye?
-Young James Costigan an’ Kate Kavanagh ran off together this mornin’, an’
-they’re now man an’ wife! Arrah, take things aisy, can’t ye?”
-
-“Oh! ye limb of Satan!” ejaculated the disappointed clergyman, as he
-pulled up to hear these tidings, “why didn’t you tell me this before, and
-not send me off on a fool’s errand?”
-
-“How could I, sur?” responded the slieveen, meekly, “when you war in
-sitch a disperate hurry?--sure ye wouldn’t let me spake at all at all!”
-
-His reverence returned to his home, muttering denunciations upon Watty’s
-devoted head; and Watty went his way, laughing immoderately at the
-success of his joke. He had given his spiritual director a ride of a
-mile or so without his breakfast, which no clerical stomach, Catholic
-or Protestant, could put up with, unless with a wedding breakfast in
-prospective. And he told but the truth after all. Young Costigan and
-handsome Kate had that morning given the knowing old ones the slip, and
-got married in Wexford; and Dennis, our portly friend Dennis, since he
-couldn’t have the “belle o’ the barony” for his bride, put a good face
-on the matter, and received her as his daughter-in-law. Twelve rejected
-suitors were at the “hauling home;” amongst them Counsellor Shiel of
-course, who favoured the company with a song made for the occasion, the
-concluding lines of which we give:
-
- “Now industrious agriculthure transplants the “Flower of Forth,”
- To a cosy situation all shelthered from the North!”
-
- M. G. R.
-
-
-
-
-ON THE FOLLY OF SOWING BAD SEEDS BECAUSE THEY ARE CHEAP.
-
-BY MARTIN DOYLE.
-
-
-A few months ago I saw in the shop window of a petty seedsman near
-Dublin, an advertisement announcing the sale of grass seeds at two
-shillings and eightpence per barrel of four bushels. I had the curiosity
-to examine those seeds, which, as may be supposed from their price,
-were a compound of the germs of weeds, with a small proportion of grass
-seeds intermixed. I have no doubt that some poor and uncalculating petty
-farmers were silly enough to purchase this trash on the penny-wise and
-pound-foolish principle, and I well know that there is no point on which
-greater ignorance prevails than on that of a proper selection of grass
-seeds, although they should be sown with an accurate regard to the
-nature of the soil, the number of years during which the land is to be
-left in meadow or in pasturage, each of which conditions also requires a
-different description of seeds.
-
-The successful establishment of grass seeds depends materially, besides
-the clean and pulverised state of the land, on their adaptation to the
-soil; and if that be in a state perfectly fit for their reception, a
-much smaller quantity of seed will be sufficient than under the opposite
-circumstances; and if the land be in a foul state previously to laying
-it down, it is clear that the sowing of weed seeds, with a trifling and
-uncertain admixture of true grass seeds, cannot render it cleaner.
-
-In practical result, the farmer who leaves his field to the generosity of
-nature is more judicious, because in our humid climate the soil possesses
-a tendency to generate the indigenous grasses, of which some are really
-good, and which, from their overpowering qualities, soon dispossess those
-that may have been sown, and form a close and excellent turf. But to sow
-_weeds_ is inexpressibly absurd, and this the man does who buys such a
-compound as that to which I have referred, or who sows them because he
-happens to have them by some means, and is unwilling to have them lost.
-Perhaps they have been collected from his own little rick of hay, which
-he knows to have been of the worst quality, or some stable boy has given
-him, or stolen for him, the dirty and perhaps fermented sweepings of a
-nasty hay loft, in which bad hay had been stored, and he is unwilling to
-throw away what he has so unluckily obtained: his _parkeen_ soon bears
-testimony to his imprudence: and he admits, though reluctantly, that
-the grass seeds which he had sown were not of the best quality, though
-they were procured from a _hay loft_, when he perceives that they have
-only introduced an artificial increase of bad herbage, which his little
-stock of animals would unanimously reject, if hunger did not forbid such
-fastidiousness.
-
-But the deluded purchaser very frequently forgets that though he has a
-great _bulk_ for his money, he has a bad bargain; he does not consider
-that the respectable seedsman, though he charges much more for his seeds,
-gives a far better quality in general, and does not sell _dirt_ and
-unprolific grass seeds in the compound which he supplies. Petty seedsmen,
-no doubt, do so frequently; and how can it be otherwise, when their stock
-is a motley contribution from farmers’ wives, hostlers, and labourers,
-who collect every variety of good and bad seeds from every description
-of meadow and soil? It is better to pay a great deal more for the best
-seed, of which a far lesser proportion will suffice. I can conceive but
-one case in which a rational farmer could deliberately use such defective
-seed as that which I saw in the little huckster’s shop, namely, when he
-is about to surrender his farm (being obligated to lay down his land
-with grass), and has all that unamiable and inexcusable feeling which so
-generally prompts men in such circumstances to act in defiance of their
-great Christian principle of doing unto others as we would have them do
-unto us.
-
-In this case, a selfish ill-natured tenant wishes to annoy his landlord,
-and his own innocent successor, to the utmost of his power; and,
-therefore, while adhering to the letter of his agreement--to sow grass
-seeds--he breaks it in the spirit, and very effectually, in fact, too, by
-substituting weeds under the denomination of grasses.
-
-A prudent man who is not a perfect judge himself of the matter, will
-first consider the quality and nature of his land before he sows
-grass seeds, and then consult Lawson’s Tables, which furnish precise
-information on every particular as to the quality and quantity of seeds
-for all soils, and whether for one, two, three years, or for permanent
-pasture, and he will endeavour to obtain what he wants accordingly; not
-that this is often an easy matter of accomplishment, for few seedsmen
-have the varieties sufficiently distinct, although they are generally
-polite enough to say that they have them so.
-
-But how can they be always sure of this? We know the great difficulty,
-even in botanical gardens, of keeping the kinds separate, and the
-rapidity with which grass seeds become commingled. The only certain way
-is to raise the desired seeds in detached portions of land, perfectly
-clean, and carefully cleared of intruding plants. Can the seedsman, with
-the most honourable intentions and greatest caution, be himself secure
-from the effects of negligence or wilful imposition?
-
-But to return to the case of the poor man who thinks he has a bargain
-when he buys four bushels of bad grass seeds for half-a-crown. Though he
-sees the bad effects in the inferiority of his herbage, and at first lays
-the blame on the proper source, he actually persuades himself afterwards
-(when _He_, who in his bounty doth “clothe the grass of the field”
-throughout the whole earth, has covered the surface of his field with
-natural herbage) that to the seeds which he had sown two or three years
-previously, he is mainly to attribute what the prodigality of Nature, or,
-more properly, the munificence of God, has supplied.
-
-The man who sows bad or ill-suited grass seeds, merely because he has
-obtained them, and is unwilling to _lose_ the acquisition, reminds me of
-an old lady who was for many years of her life in the habit of giving
-annually (in the spring of the year) to her grandchildren, a regular
-course of sulphur and treacle mixed up together, whether the recipients
-required it or not.
-
-On one occasion, a new servant maid, unacquainted with this system,
-was sent for the usual quantity of flour of sulphur, but by some
-mismanagement she brought home a pound of flour of mustard. Her mistress
-sent her back to the grocer from whom it had been bought, but from
-previous jealousies or quarrels unnecessary to detail, he refused to take
-it back again. The poor maid could not herself be expected to substitute
-the required sulphur, and the old lady was determined that the mustard
-should not be lost. She accordingly mixed it with the treacle instead of
-the other substance, and actually ladled every particle of the compound
-down the throats of her grandchildren and the servant maid, who consented
-to take her share as a punishment for her inattention, until the whole
-mixture was consumed. The old lady was less foolish than the farmer who
-sows the seeds of weeds, because she had previously ascertained that the
-flour of mustard was harmless; but the husbandman must know that those
-seeds which are not genuine grass seeds are noxious to his land, by
-rendering it foul, and it is therefore extravagance and not economy on
-his part to use bad seeds, merely to save waste.
-
-I am sorry to say that the same indifference prevails among the lower
-classes of our farmers as to seed in general. On this subject I shall
-again occupy a page of the Journal in an early number.
-
- * * * * *
-
-A LAZY DOG.--Dr Arnaud d’Antilli, one day talking with the Duke de
-Laincourt upon the new philosophy of M. Descartes, maintained that beasts
-were mere machines; that they had no sort of reason to direct them; and
-that when they cried or made a noise, it was only one of the wheels of
-the clock or machine that made it. The Duke, who was of a different
-opinion, replied, “I have now in my kitchen two turnspits which take
-their turns regularly every other day to get into the wheel; one of
-them not liking his employment, hid himself on the day he should have
-wrought, so that his companion was forced to mount the wheel in his
-stead; when released, by crying and wagging his tail, he made a sign for
-those in attendance to follow him. He immediately conducted them to a
-garret, where he dislodged the idle dog and bit him severely.”--_Dublin
-University Magazine._
-
-
-
-
-CURIOUS COINCIDENCES.
-
-
-One of the most fruitful sources of superstition, and that which has
-been most productive of what are styled “well-founded and authenticated
-stories of supernatural occurrences,” is that Protean monster known
-in all its forms by the general appellation of “Remarkable or Curious
-Coincidences.”
-
-The frequent occurrence of events precisely similar in their details,
-though perfectly simple and ordinary individually, is apt to be
-considered, first, as remarkable, and, if again repeated, wonderful.
-
-In a recent number of the Penny Journal mention is made of the curious
-coincidence of three men having been found drowned at various times in
-the course of the same winter, in the same river, and the same place, or
-nearly, each with _two shirts_ on, having given rise to the belief in
-that parish that it was unlucky to wear two shirts.
-
-But if persons should allow themselves to be guided in their actions by
-such observances, their lives would become perfectly burthensome from the
-constant state of watchfulness in which they would be obliged to live;
-for instance, the following anecdote would show the absolute necessity
-they would be under of ascertaining the names of their fellow-travellers,
-lest any one rejoicing in the name of Hugh Williams should be amongst
-them.
-
-The more juvenile readers of the Penny Journal must be informed that
-the portion of the sea which flows between the island of Anglesea and
-the coast of Wales, called the Menai Straits, which is now spanned by
-the celebrated Menai suspension bridge, was passable, previously to
-the erection of the bridge, only by boats, a regular ferry-boat plying
-constantly at the place called Bangor ferry. On the 6th day of December,
-in the year 1664, the ferry-boat, having eighty-one passengers on board,
-was upset whilst crossing the Strait, and only one man was saved, whose
-name was Hugh Williams. On the 6th day of December 1782, the boat then
-plying, containing about sixty persons, was upset, and all were lost
-excepting one passenger, whose name proved to be Hugh Williams. On
-the 5th of August 1820, a similar fate befell twenty-five unfortunate
-persons, one only of whom escaped, whose name was Hugh Williams!
-
-We should hope that none could now be found so weak, but certainly
-there have been those who, having heard this story, would fear to trust
-their precious lives in a ferry-boat with any one of the name of Hugh
-Williams, but a little local knowledge would go far in removing such
-an absurd apprehension, as indeed there are few of the most apparently
-extraordinary events, the origin of which cannot be traced to simple
-natural causes.
-
-The name of Williams prevails in the neighbourhood of Bangor, and Hugh
-is a favourite Christian name throughout all Wales. It is very probable
-that persons of the name of Williams, very possibly even Hugh Williams,
-were lost amongst the passengers on each of those occasions, but these
-were overlooked, whilst the coincidence of the individual saved being
-each time of the same name, was observed and recorded; the circumstance
-being simply accounted for by the ordinary rules of calculating odds
-or chances, for where the name of Hugh Williams prevailed, there was
-certainly a greater chance of one of that name being saved than one of
-any other, and, as we have before remarked, no account was made of how
-many Hugh Williamses perished.
-
- N.
-
- * * * * *
-
-INDUSTRY.--Let me say a word in behalf of this home-spun virtue. It may
-seem superfluous, perhaps impertinent, to enforce industry upon the
-hardest-working people in the world, as I conceive our good countrymen
-to be; but I speak of it as a part of education--as a principle to be
-inculcated upon childhood. Its proper limits I shall hereafter attempt
-to define. In this country it is the duty of every individual to live
-an active life. No one, even though he be rich, has a right to be idle
-or useless. In the hive of bees there is a privileged class of drones;
-but there the government is despotic, with a queen at its head. Ours
-is a republican government, which admits of no drones, and tolerates
-no aristocratic indolence. Nor is industry more a duty to society than
-a source of individual happiness. There are no pleasures so sweet as
-those earned by effort, no possessions so dear as those acquired by
-toil. The truth is, that the main happiness of life consists in the
-vigorous exercise of those faculties which God has given us. Thus it
-usually happens that more enjoyment is found in the acquisition of
-property than in its possession. How often does the rich man, surrounded
-with every luxury, look back from the pinnacle which he has attained,
-with fond regret, to those days of humble but happy toil when he was
-struggling up the steep ascent of fortune! Make industry, then, a part of
-fireside education. Teach it to your children as a point of duty; render
-it familiar to them by practice. Personal exertion and ready activity
-are natural to some children, and these hardly need any stimulus to the
-performance of duties requiring bodily exertion. There are others who
-have an indolence, a reluctance to move, either uniform or periodical,
-in their very constitution. If neglected, these children will grow up in
-the habit of omitting many duties, or of performing only those which are
-agreeable. It is indispensable that such should be trained to patient
-exertion, habituated to the performance of every duty in the right time
-and the right way, even though it may require self-denial and onerous
-toil. A person who cannot compel himself, from a mere sense of duty, to
-overcome a slothful reluctance to do what is disagreeable, is but half
-educated, and carries about him a weakness that is likely to prove fatal
-to his success in life. Such a person may act vigorously by fits and
-starts as he may be occasionally urged by impulse; but the good begun
-will often remain unfinished, and, from subsequent negligence, will
-result in final disaster. The only safe way is to found industry upon
-principle, and establish it by habit. While, therefore, I would inculcate
-industry, I would remark that it may be carried to excess. Every virtue
-has its bordering vice. The extreme of courage touches upon the precincts
-of rashness, and a step beyond the proper limit of industry brings you
-into the dreary regions of avarice.--_Fireside Education, by S. G.
-Goodrich, an American Author._
-
- * * * * *
-
-THE SABBATH.--Nature always seemed to me to “keep Sabbath” in the
-wilderness. I used to fancy that the wild birds were more quiet on
-that day, sitting on the branches with their heads under their wings,
-smoothing their plumage, or looking quietly about them, and sometimes
-venturing a faint warble, scarcely above a whisper. And I have seen a
-large wolfish animal stand for hours upon a dry log, on the bank of the
-river, contemplating the stream, or gazing into the air; once or twice,
-perhaps, starting suddenly a few paces, but then halting as if he had
-given up the idea; and his tail all the while hanging listlessly down,
-as if indicating that no enterprise could be undertaken on that day.
-Just like the merchant who may be seen in the city, on a bright Sunday
-morning, in clean shirt collar, and with hands thrust into his pockets,
-loitering slowly down the street, or standing in ruminating attitude
-at the corner, pondering carefully every step of the morrow’s tangled
-path, or perhaps calculating the amount of time lost in Sundays, by the
-whole world, taken individually and collectively from Moses’s day to
-the present time; but on the whole, enduring the Sabbath with Christian
-resignation.
-
- * * * * *
-
-CRITICS.--It is a little singular that the mass should attach much
-importance to the small opinions of every-day critics. Because a man
-happens to have the facilities of _publishing_ his views and opinions to
-the world, though he be the veriest blockhead on earth, his verdict is
-often of more than ordinary weight among men. Indeed, a Johnson could
-not influence some men by his _verbal_ opinion, to the extent that an
-ignoramus can influence them through “press and types.” The “dignity of
-print” has a strange effect. Although it is but one man who speaks, and
-he may have one hundred opponents who may argue successfully against
-him, yet they will all fail with the public. But let either of them
-_publish_ the same opinion, and the ore, which was rich and weighty,
-becomes refined. Common critics, moreover, are always ready to find
-imperfections, for thus will the public be made acquainted with their
-_penetration_. In fact, many of them seem to think that to criticize _is_
-to find fault; “else (they reason) where is the necessity of criticism?”
-It is said that any fool can fire a house. So can any man criticize a
-book; but very few can build the one or write the other. Many of the
-vinegar-critics of the day who haunt the shores of literature, would
-utterly fail in penning even the _preface_ to a respectable book. It
-is a recorded and well-known fact that many of our standard works were
-rejected for the want of a publisher, owing to the unfavourable opinion
-of stolid rule-and-figure critics; but when they came before the people,
-who, judging from the impulses of the heart, are never wrong, how soon
-was their verdict reversed! The PEOPLE are the only true tribunal. They
-separate, with the hand of a refiner, the dross from the gold. By them
-genius is preserved, and pretension discarded.--_Knickerbocker._
-
- * * * * *
-
-The boxes of the opera, splendid as they are, and splendid as the
-appearance of those in them is, do not breathe a spirit of enjoyment.
-They are rather like the sick wards of luxury and idleness, where people
-of a certain class are condemned to perform the quarantine of fashion for
-the evening.--_Hazlitt._
-
- * * * * *
-
-DECEIVERS.--We are born to deceive or to be deceived. In one of these
-classes we must be numbered; but our self-respect is dependent upon
-our selection. The practice of deception generally secures its own
-punishment; for callous indeed must be that mind which is insensible of
-its ignominy! But he who has been duped is conscious, even in the very
-moment that he detects the imposition, of his proud superiority to one
-who can stoop to the adoption of so foul and sorry a course. The really
-good and high-minded, therefore, are seldom provoked by the discovery
-of deception; though the cunning and artful resent it, as a humiliating
-triumph obtained over them in their own vocations.
-
- * * * * *
-
-WIT.--Wit is the lightning of the mind, reason the sunshine, and
-reflection the moonlight; for as the bright orb of night owes its lustre
-to the sun, so does reflection owe its existence to reason.
-
- * * * * *
-
-PREMATURE WISDOM.--The premature wisdom of youth resembles the forced
-fruit of our hot-houses; it looks like the natural production, but has
-not its flavour or raciness.
-
- * * * * *
-
-POOR.--A term of reproach in England, and of pity in most other countries.
-
- * * * * *
-
-POETS AND ASTRONOMERS.--Poets view nature as a book in which they read a
-language unknown to common minds, as astronomers regard the heavens, and
-therein discover objects that escape the vulgar ken.
-
- * * * * *
-
-PEACE OF MIND.--Though peace of mind does not constitute happiness,
-happiness cannot exist without it; our serenity being the result of
-our own exertions, while our happiness is dependent on others: hence
-the reason why it is so rare; for, on how few can we count? Our
-wisdom, therefore, is best shown in cultivating all that leads to the
-preservation of this negative blessing, which, while we possess it will
-prevent us from ever becoming wholly wretched.
-
-
-
-
-ANSWER TO THE ENIGMA IN No. 17.
-
-
- Mr Teague, the enigma you sent me, my honey,
- Must mean, I conjecture, a round bit o’ money;
- But what it can be, is a regular stopper,
- Unless it’s a coinage from some kind of copper;
- Though your Dean of St Patrick’s did not like the stuff,
- For this very fair reason--’twas not big enough.
- So here goes a guess--and, in truth, to be plain,
- It’s a good honest Penny your honour will mane.
- Ah, Geordy, full oft have they tried to disgrace,
- With buffets and blows, thy right royal old face;
- Let them hammer away till they’re all in a pet,
- For real solid worth thou’rt the best of the set.
- E’en O’Connell must own, though he don’t like the mint,
- That thou art the cream of his flourishing rint!
- As for gold, it flies off like the chaff or the stubble,
- Leaving little behind but vexation and trouble.
- And that mealy-fac’d silver, experience of old
- Says is only too apt to take wings after gold--
- In fact, I ne’er found, from the mohur to piastre,
- That one kind or other went slower or faster;
- Do just as you like, it seems a thing plann’d,
- That one of those vagrants shall ne’er be on hand.
- We well know what wonders a Penny can do,
- What instruction and comfort a mite will bestow.
- The stores of the world, its rust and its lumber,
- Come brighten’d and polish’d in each penny number.
- The well-spring of knowledge is open to all--
- The Penny has spread it through cottage and hall.
- So now, my friend Teague, let the great have the guinea.
- You and I’ll be contint if we’ve always a PINNY.
-
- * * * * *
-
- Printed and published every Saturday by GUNN and CAMERON, at
- the Office of the General Advertiser, No. 6, Church Lane,
- College Green, Dublin.--Agents:--R. GROOMBRIDGE, Panyer Alley,
- Paternoster Row, London; SIMMS and DINHAM, Exchange Street,
- Manchester; C. DAVIES, North John Street, Liverpool; J. DRAKE,
- Birmingham; SLOCOMBE & SIMMS, Leeds; FRASER and CRAWFORD,
- George Street, Edinburgh; and DAVID ROBERTSON, Trongate,
- Glasgow.
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Irish Penny Journal, Vol. 1 No.
-32, February 6, 1841, by Various
-
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Irish Penny Journal, Vol. 1 No. 32,
-February 6, 1841, by Various
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-Title: The Irish Penny Journal, Vol. 1 No. 32, February 6, 1841
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-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[Pg 249]</a></span></p>
-
-<h1>THE IRISH PENNY JOURNAL.</h1>
-
-<table summary="Headline layout">
- <tr>
- <td class="smcap">Number 32.</td>
- <td class="center">SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 1841.</td>
- <td class="right smcap">Volume I.</td>
- </tr>
-</table>
-
-<div class="figcenter gap4" style="width: 500px;">
-<img src="images/kate.jpg" width="500" height="440" alt="Kate Kavanagh" />
-</div>
-
-<h2>HANDSOME KATE KAVANAGH.</h2>
-
-<p>In that fertile district of the county Wexford, the barony of
-Forth, distinguished for its comfortable cottages and general
-good husbandry, lived Dennis Costigan, a rich farmer. His
-farm was large, well stocked, and in high condition; his dwelling-house
-was furnished as a farmer’s house should be, and
-it was as cleanly and neat as it was commodious. His wife
-was tidy, notable, and good-tempered, and his three children
-were such as would please a father&mdash;well-formed in person
-and virtuous in mind. Then, should not our friend Dennis
-Costigan have been a happy man? He would have been so
-<em>perhaps</em>&mdash;for there is ever to be a stumbling block in our road
-to happiness&mdash;<em>but</em> that the first object that glared upon his
-eyes in each morning’s sun was the white low cottage of his
-next neighbour Miles Kavanagh. Yet that cottage was not an
-ugly feature in the landscape. It was small and low, but as
-white as the whitest lime could make it; it was neatly thatched
-too, and its small casements were never broken or patched.
-A few honeysuckles and roses crept up its walls, and it was
-surrounded by a hedge of hazels and sallows, that lent it an
-air of comfort and seclusion. Its owner, at least, thought it a
-pretty spot, and that he was a happy man indeed to possess
-it and its two or three adjoining acres; and as he trimmed his
-hedges, and looked pleasantly on all around&mdash;the fruits of his
-industry and labour&mdash;he little thought that any one could
-look upon <em>his</em> cot and farm with other eyes than those of admiration;
-and least of all that he, or aught of his, was the
-source of care or annoyance to his wealthier neighbour. And
-why did wealthy Dennis Costigan glance lowringly on this
-humble tenement? Was it that, like his betters, he thought a
-poor man’s dwelling always an unsightly object? and that,
-like many a grasping spirit, all land convenient to his own
-was misappropriated if not in his possession? It was not so.
-Dennis Costigan envied no man his possessions. He was a
-right specimen of a farmer, independent, upright, honest, and
-industrious, contented with what providence had given him,
-and willing to help a neighbour with purse and hand if required.
-And if he <em>did</em> grumble a little, and turn away his eyes
-quickly as if in pain, from the cottage we have mentioned,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[Pg 250]</a></span>
-many another father with hopeful sons would do the same, for
-it contained a gem that would grace the proudest castle in
-Ireland&mdash;beautiful, charming, innocent Kate Kavanagh, but
-who had no fortune.</p>
-
-<p>One fine morning in August, farmer Costigan sallied forth
-at the head of a regiment of reapers armed for the destruction
-of a large field of wheat, but scarcely had he got outside
-his yard when he missed two of his most efficient men&mdash;his
-two sons.</p>
-
-<p>“Where can those gorsoons ov mine be, boys?” inquired
-he of the reapers. “In the arms ov <em>Murphy</em>, to be sure,”
-answered a little shrill-piped fellow, the crack orator of the
-country, which, and the circumstance of his name being alike,
-procured him the cognomen of “Counsellor Shiel.” “In the
-arms ov Murphy, to be sure, afther thrippin’ it all night on
-the light funtastic toe with that flower ov Forth an’ belle ov
-the barony, Kate Kavanagh.”</p>
-
-<p>“Arrah, can’t ye speak in plain English, man?” thundered the
-farmer with kindling eyes&mdash;the name just mentioned always
-putting him in a passion. “What the dickens does I know
-ov funtastic toes or heels?”</p>
-
-<p>“Very little indeed, <em>litherally</em>,” quoth the counsellor, laughing,
-and glancing sarcastically at the farmer’s large feet, cased
-in tremendous brogues shod with hob-nails; “very little
-<em>litherally</em>, but you might metaphorically, for all that. But
-you have no more poethry or bells letthers in ye than a bag
-ov beans!”</p>
-
-<p>“Nor you more common sense than a goose.”</p>
-
-<p>“Stop!” cried the orator suddenly, in a tone of command
-enough to arrest a retreating army, and motioning to the
-body of reapers. “Stop, one an’ all ov ye, an’ listen! It
-would be a sin to let this profane ignirince continue longer.”
-Then addressing our barony Forth farmer with a countenance
-in which pity and ineffable contempt were blended, “Is it in
-the nointeenth centhery that you call me a goose, by way ov
-contimpt? Oh ignorant of nathral histhry, jography, bells
-letthers, pelite litherature altogether! For, know, onforthenate
-man, that it was the <em>cackle</em> ov that same illustrious baist,
-a goose, that saved what?&mdash;where do you think?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yer mother’s hen-roost from the fox, is it?”</p>
-
-<p>“No, haithen, but imparial Rome!!!”</p>
-
-<p>The might, the majesty of the “counsellor’s” tones and
-gestures as he uttered the words, struck amazement into the
-hearts of his hearers! They had considered him a clever fellow,
-but by no means the great man he then appeared! Enchanted
-with his eloquence, not a few of his auditors were
-certain that if he were in Parliament, he would do more for
-Ireland than Mr O’Connell and all his friends; while the remainder,
-as much delighted with his energy, lamented that
-“the craithur wasn’t two fut higher, for he had a great
-spirit intirely!”</p>
-
-<p>The happy “counsellor” perceived the impression he had
-produced, and in his altitude was proceeding to tell them when
-and how “imparial Rome” was saved, when his attention was
-arrested by an approaching object, and with an instantaneous
-change of attitude and tone he exclaimed,</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="verse">“‘But, soft! what light from yonder <em>meadow</em> breaks?</div>
-<div class="verse">It is the aist, an’ Cath’rine is the sun!’”</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p>as a tall and very handsome girl, with the finest eyes and
-brightest smile imaginable, met them at the entrance of the
-wheat field.</p>
-
-<p>“A blithe mornin’ to Misther Costigan,” said the maiden,
-“an’ the same to all the raipers!”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh! a good morra,” returned Mister Costigan very coldly
-and with looks still colder, “an’ I wondher above all things
-what is it that takes Miss Kavanagh out of her bed so early?”</p>
-
-<p>“Just what ought to rouse many more ov us, Misther Costigan,”
-replied Kate spiritedly&mdash;“to help a naibur, an’ I am
-come to offer ye all the ’sistance in my power to-day, aither
-as binder or raiper, whichever ye may want worst.”</p>
-
-<p>“I want neither,” returned the farmer gruffly, and turning
-on his heel; “an’, besides, I could not possibly think of puttin’
-sitch delicate white hands to sitch coorse work!”</p>
-
-<p>“The belle o’ the barony” coloured high at the affront
-couched in this speech, and she hastily answered that “her
-hands, sitch as they war, could earn her bread for her when
-she required it; an’ if <em>she</em> didn’t find them too tendher for work,
-Misther Costigan needn’t find fault with them. But,”
-added she more kindly, “you have a rough manner but a kind
-heart, Dennis Costigan, an’ I won’t mind what you say to me.
-Moreover, I’ll stay with ye to-day, whether you be willin’ or
-not, aither as binder or raiper.”</p>
-
-<p>Dennis Costigan, “kind as his heart” was, would have
-given a sovereign of “bright goold” that Kate Kavanagh and
-her bright eyes were a few miles off at the moment; but as he
-saw that she carried all before her, he thought it better not
-to give her any further offence, and accordingly, but with a
-very bad grace, he accepted her services.</p>
-
-<p>“Where be’s Jem and Ned Costigan this mornin’?” whispered
-Kate to the counsellor, who was flourishing away gallantly
-at her side.</p>
-
-<p>The man of eloquence flung himself into an attitude, laid
-his hand upon his heart, and looked languishingly, as he
-“assured her that her charms were railly too potently
-enfluential over the hearts ov her admirers, as she not only
-deprived thim ov the needful refreshment of nathur, oblivious
-slumber, but she also hendhered them from doin’ their daily
-manual imploymints. For instance,” said he, “you see
-<em>Saul</em>, the orb ov day, is high up in his meraydian hemisphare,
-an’ those inamoured swains are still pressin’ their beds, or
-rather cooches, in the arms ov Murphy, mainin’ sleep or
-Somnus&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“An’ what have I to do with that?” said Kate, laughing
-heartily. “Do ye think I gave thim a sleepy potion?”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! my beautiful flower ov Forth!” sighed out the sentimental
-counsellor, “any thing but a sleepy potion do you
-give yer lovers! if ’tis anything, sure I am ’tis a draught to
-banish sleep for ever! But consarnin’ those vagrant truints
-ye spaik ov, I ondherstand that you kep thim up beyant their
-ushial hours ov repose last night, admirin’ yer graceful movemints
-in yer <em>Turpfiscorian</em> revels, mainin’ the dance at Judy
-Colfer’s; an’ that man, their father, who is not to be moved
-with ‘concord of sweet sounds,’ or any sounds at all but the
-chink ov money, almost snapt my head off a while ago bekase
-I tould him so. Ah! my Catherine dear, I fear you’ll incounther
-opposition in that quarther. But ‘<i lang="la">nel desperantum</i>,’ say
-I, which mains in plain English, ‘never dispair.’”</p>
-
-<p>Catherine said nothing, but instantly began to sing, at the
-top of her fine rich voice, a song the counsellor had composed
-in praise of her, and shortly afterwards she had the
-pleasure to see the two sleepy truants bounding across the
-yard towards the wheat-field, as if her well-known notes had
-awaked them.</p>
-
-<p>While this magical song was thrilling on all hearts, Kate
-Kavanagh, the witching Kate! stood apart from the others,
-singing and laughing alternately, her reaping-hook resting on
-one arm, and dressed in the every-day fashion of the place&mdash;the
-striped linsey short petticoat, and loose bedgown or wrapper,
-a dress that would make an ordinary woman frightful,
-and straw hat, the leaf of which, turned up before and pinned
-to the crown, displayed her sable locks and fair high forehead
-to perfection. And many a side-glance the anxious father,
-Dennis Costigan, cast at this arrangement of Kate’s headgear,
-as he broadly hinted that “for sartin Miss Kavanagh’s
-complexion would be intirely spiled if she showed it too much
-to the sun.”</p>
-
-<p>“Tut!” was Kate’s good-humoured reply, “‘the life ov
-an ould hat is to cock it,’ as we say in the counthry.
-The leaf ov it was flappin’ in my eyes; the lads couldn’t see
-me, nor I them, so a pin settled the bisness;” and nothing
-could become her fine Spanish face better, though her toilet
-was made in perfect carelessness, for dashing Kate had other
-charms to depend on besides beauty. Imprimus, she was the
-first dancer in the country, outdoing her dancing-master himself
-at “jigs, reels, thribbles, doubles, hornpipes, and <em>petticoatees</em>.”
-She was a <em>killing</em> dancer in both senses of the word,
-for no boy or girl could keep it up with the spirit of Kate
-Kavanagh, and she generally disabled six or eight prime beaus
-at every “hop” she appeared at, which was nearly every
-night. The worst of it was (as the sorely annoyed fathers
-and mothers of the neighbourhood said), “though she fairly
-kilt all the boys that danced with her, yet sorra one but herself
-would sarve them for a partner after all!” Then she was,
-as Orator Shiel said, “Apollyo in petticoats for singin’!”
-and songs of love, murder, hunting, war, and sea, would charm
-with double effect, borne on the musical notes of Kate Kavanagh.
-In short, she was “metal most,” but also too “attractive;”
-and loud complaints and grievances at last came thundering
-on her devoted head. “Boys growin’ lazy and crazy&mdash;work
-undone or done badly&mdash;time spent an’ mis-spent&mdash;messages
-forgotten and mistaken&mdash;girls neglected&mdash;matches
-broken&mdash;eternal dancin’, fightin’, black eyes an’ bloody noses”&mdash;all,
-all was laid in a bundle at the door of handsome, animated,
-dashing, yet very innocent Kate Kavanagh.</p>
-
-<p>“What will be done with her at all at all?” iterated the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[Pg 251]</a></span>
-suffering fathers and mothers all round the country. “What
-will we do with her at all?”</p>
-
-<p>“I’ll tell ye, naiburs,” responded one of the elders, as a
-body of them returned from chapel on the Sunday after
-Mosey Fortune’s great “flare up,” at which three topping
-bloods fought for the honour of first figuring on the floor with
-the “belle o’ the barony.” “Let a respectable dacent naibur,
-sitch as Dennis Costigan here for example, go to her father
-as a friend to advise him to get his daughther married out ov
-hand, for fear some harm will happen. An’, throth, harm <em>will</em>
-happen; for if she’s not the destruction ov herself, she will
-be the ruination ov others. So, Misther Costigan, let you be
-the man to spake to Miles Kavanagh.”</p>
-
-<p>“Agreed,” said Dennis Costigan, who was one of the party,
-and also a suffering father; and on the ensuing Thursday he
-intended to proceed on the mission.</p>
-
-<p>In the meantime, Kate Kavanagh, never dreaming of the
-grand hubbub about her, assisted to cut down Mr Costigan’s
-wheat; and so full of songs, jokes, and attractions was she, that
-it was observed, even by the farmer himself, that the men,
-old and young, surpassed themselves at reaping that day.
-Indeed, Kate set them an excellent pattern; for, notwithstanding
-that her tongue moved in double-quick time, she took
-care that her hands should be equally nimble; and at nightfall,
-thanks to Kate and the influence of her black eyes, sharp
-and bright as her sickle, the very large field of wheat was cut
-down, bound, and stooked to the owner’s satisfaction. Yet,
-after all, the “flower of Forth” bloomed too near Dennis,
-or rather his sons, to allow him to be perfectly content.</p>
-
-<p>“How yer father squints at me!” observed Kate to James
-Costigan, her ardent admirer, and to whom, by the way, she
-contrived to keep close during the day. “He looks at me as
-if I was a crab apple, an’ he had just taken a bite. Wouldn’t
-it be the best ov a good joke, now, if I’d make him change his
-tune in spite ov himself?”</p>
-
-<p>Jem looked at her very tenderly as he replied, “Ye do
-as you like with <em>us</em>, Kate darlin’, but I doubt yer power over
-my father. He is flent to purty girls, an’ above all to you.”</p>
-
-<p>“We shall see,” said Kate; and that very evening, between
-coaxing and pulling, she actually brought the portly
-farmer, albeit in no dancing mood, to dance with her (when
-Peter Hamilton and his violin <em>happened</em> in after supper), to
-the amazement and amusement of a kitchen full of spectators,
-though, as honest Dennis confessed while wiping his
-broad brows, “he didn’t take sitch a spree for ten years
-afore!” Handsome Kate at the end of it looked knowingly
-at Jem Costigan, as much as to say, “You see this, and you’ll
-see more.”</p>
-
-<p>The next morning an express arrived to Dennis Costigan
-with the news that his sister’s daughter, Miss Peggy Malone,
-was about to “change her state,” and that her uncle’s company
-was required at the wedding.</p>
-
-<p>“Och, murther!” cried the farmer when he had sufficiently
-expressed his surprise at the news, “this ould brown coat ov
-mine will never do for a weddin’!&mdash;turn it which way I will, it
-looks shabby enough&mdash;pieced at the elbows an’ torn at the
-cuffs! So, Jem, asthore, take the black mare an’ set off this
-minnit to Waxford, an’ buy me the makin’s ov a coat an’
-waistcoat ov good green cloth; it always became my complexion.
-An’, Jem, for yer head don’t make any mistake this
-time. Those three months past you’re full ov mistakes, an’
-nothin’ else.”</p>
-
-<p>“Is it me makes mistakes!” quoth Jem indignantly; “that’s
-what I never did yet, except wanst or twice, an’ I’ll not begin
-now.” And he mounted the mare, and turned her head towards
-Wexford. But as he should pass Miles Kavanagh’s
-cottage, “it would be only right an’ proper to ax if he or Kate
-had any commands for town.” And&mdash;and&mdash;when he got to
-Wexford, he quite forgot the colour his father had ordered,
-and, thinking of Kate Kavanagh’s hair and eyes, he bought
-black.</p>
-
-<p>Well, never was man in a greater fume than our friend
-Dennis Costigan when he saw his son’s purchase. “Black!
-black!” he repeated again and again, as he held up the
-cloth and indignantly scowled at it and its purchaser, “black
-for a weddin’! Oh, ye born nathural! what on earth put it
-into yer head to buy black for a weddin’? But I see the
-thruth in yer eyes this minnit! Ye seen that&mdash;that&mdash;plague
-upon earth, Kate Kavanagh, afore ye wint to Waxford, an’
-she, as ushial, put every wise thought out ov yer head.
-Black coat at a weddin’!&mdash;who ever seen the like afore?”</p>
-
-<p>It was in vain that poor Jem explained that “the cloth was
-not all out black, but what was called Oxfert-grey&mdash;a mighty
-ginteel colour, an’ sitch as was worn by all fathers ov families.”</p>
-
-<p>“That’s as much as to say that it is worn by all ould min?”
-said the father, nothing better pleased. “What a judge ye
-are! But as the cloth is bought, I must keep it I suppose, an’
-I’ll take it to the tailor’s myself, for fear ye’d make some other
-confounded blundher. I wouldn’t wondher if ye’d tell him to
-make it a spincer-jacket without skirts, ye have sitch a janious
-for mistakes!” And putting the parcel of cloth under his
-arm, he set out for Jemmy Nowlan’s domicile.</p>
-
-<p>There he saw no one but the tailor’s old mother sitting
-very melancholy over the fire.</p>
-
-<p>“Can I see yer son Jemmy, widda Nowlan?” asked the
-farmer.</p>
-
-<p>“Och, asthore machree, Misther Costigan,” said the widow,
-setting up a keen, and rocking herself about, “ye may see him
-an’ welkim, but a quare sight ye’ll see whin ye sees him; an’,
-linamachree! the worst ov it is, he can’t see ye now.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why, what’s the matther?” demanded Mr Costigan
-alarmed. “I hope he’s not dead?”</p>
-
-<p>“He’s not dead, but he’s kilt intirely,” sobbed the distressed
-parent, “wid the lambastin’ he got ere-last night at the
-dance at Dinny Doran’s.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, an’ what takes <em>him</em> to dances?” said the farmer in
-a heat. “Sure the like shred ov him ought to stay at home
-an’ mind his bisness.”</p>
-
-<p>“Pulliliew! is that the feelin’ ye has for yer fella-craithurs,
-Misther Costigan. But indeed I often sed that same to him
-myself. ‘Stay at home, honey,’ I says to him, ‘an’ don’t be
-losin’ yer sleep an’ flittherin’ yer slippers at them dances.’
-‘Hould yer whisht, mother,’ he’ll say to me thin (for he is a
-mighty obaydient child), ‘love sthrikes the little as well as the
-big, an’ I wouldn’t have a sowl above buttons if I wouldn’t
-take every opportunity ov meetin’ an’ coortin’ Kate Kavanagh.’
-So ye see the win’ sits in that quarther, Misther Costigan.”</p>
-
-<p>Mr Costigan actually stamped on the floor with passion
-when he heard the name of Kate Kavanagh; and as the tailor’s
-mother perceived unusual anger in his countenance, she flattered
-herself that it was all sympathy for her “darlint
-Jemmy,” and she hastened to give him the particulars “ov
-the murdher” foul and unnatural. “So now, my darlint
-Misther Costigan,” she concluded, “his poor eyes is black
-an’ blue, and closed up into the bargain, an’ he couldn’t
-handle a needle if it was for Misther Grogan Morgan himself&mdash;God
-bless him for the fine lan’lord that he is.”</p>
-
-<p>If poor Mrs Nowlan knew but all, little sympathy had her
-wealthy visitor for her battered son, when he understood the
-cause of his woes, and her pathetic touches of tenderness
-went for nothing. Muttering something about “hanging all
-fools and mothers of fools,” he took a gruff leave of the
-widow, and returned home with his cloth. There was no
-other tailor nearer than Wexford, and it was fated that he
-should wear his old brown coat at the wedding. But that was
-not his only annoyance. The evening before he set out on
-his journey, he found that the horse he intended to ride wanted
-two shoes; and fearing to trust his sons (both of whom
-were smitten with the “belle o’ the barony”) in their present
-plight, he brought the animal to the forge himself. No smith
-was to be found. “Arrah, where the d&mdash;&mdash;l is he?” cried
-the farmer, quite exasperated, and addressing a girl standing
-knitting at the door of a house near the forge.</p>
-
-<p>“Sorra bit ov us knows, Misther Costigan,” replied the
-damsel; “but we’re guessin’ that he is either at the public
-house, or at Miles Kavanagh’s, hankerin’ afther his daughther,
-for betwixt the two places he spinds the most ov his time.”</p>
-
-<p>Dennis Costigan said nothing, but he raised up his hands
-and eyes&mdash;eloquence more expressive than words. Kate Kavanagh
-again!</p>
-
-<p>As he returned with his unshod horse, he pondered while
-jogging along. “<em>What</em> should be about that Kate Kavanagh
-above all girls to set a whole parish astray?” And as
-he could find no solution of the enigma short of sorcery, he
-set it down that she was “Ould Nick in petticoats!” “My
-two hopeful sons is mad afther her.” said he, soliloquising;
-“the unfortunate counsellor is fairly cracked about her;
-the smith is grown wild, an’ the tailor knocked stupid;
-heaven only knows what way the carpinther an’ mason is, for
-she has all the thrades, I’m thinkin’; an’ now all I pray is
-that she may charm some thrav’ling tinker, an’ that he may
-carry her off body an’ bones for the pace ov the counthry!”<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[Pg 252]</a></span>
-Ah! little did honest Dennis know who was to be the next
-victim of merciless Kate Kavanagh!</p>
-
-<p>Well, next morning he set out for Bargie, after taking an
-affectionate farewell of his good little wife, and after cautioning
-her repeatedly to have a constant look-out after the
-“boys and Kate Kavanagh.” Fain would he have persuaded
-his eldest son to accompany him to the wedding, but Jem pathetically
-pleaded “pains in his bones an’ headache” (heartache
-he should have said), and his father very unwillingly
-set off without him.</p>
-
-<p>Our farmer had only ridden a few miles, when, coming to
-a village, like a true son of the soil he should stop at the
-“public” to taste the “mountain dew.” Early as it was in
-the morning, it appeared there were others as interestingly
-engaged, and vociferating loudly on some important topic.
-Whatever it might be, our friend Dennis thought it could be
-no concern of his, and without making any inquiry he called
-for his dandy of punch. Overhead the revellers kept up a
-most astounding debate; presently were heard shouts, curses,
-hustling, and blows, and the next instant half a dozen combatants
-came head foremost tumbling down the steep and
-narrow stairs together!</p>
-
-<p>“Fight it out fair, ye vilyens,” roared the hostess, as her
-face flamed and her eye fired, “but fight it out ov <em>my</em> house.
-Into the street with every mother’s son ov ye, or know for
-what!” and seizing a pewter beer quart, she leaped over the
-counter, and pummelled the backs and heads of all within
-her reach, till she actually cleared them out of her house.</p>
-
-<p>“What an uproar they make in a quiet place!” said she,
-as she returned to Dennis Costigan, who was laughing heartily
-at the spree.</p>
-
-<p>Now, there is something extraordinary in the blood of an
-Irishman. A fight is his choicest amusement, and if he is
-not a principal actor in one, he must be a spectator. Even
-our sober barony Forth farmer was excited, and eagerly
-asked “what it was all about?”</p>
-
-<p>“All about nonsinse,” replied Mrs Boniface, “all about
-nonsinse when it is about a woman. All the uproar was
-about a naibur ov yours, Misther Costigan, who has turned
-the heads ov some ov our lads here, an’ many others besides&mdash;one
-Miss Kavanagh. Do you know her?”</p>
-
-<p>“Know her!” exclaimed Dennis, and suddenly set down
-his glass on the counter, just as he was about to put it to
-his lips.</p>
-
-<p>“What’s the matther, Mr Costigan?” asked the landlady
-alarmed; “don’t you like yer punch?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I likes it well,” returned Mr Costigan, in a sickly tone,
-“but somehow there’s an all-overness over me that makes me
-very quare at times, but it will wear off. Here’s to yer health,
-Mrs Roche!” and gulped off the punch at a draught, as if he
-didn’t know well what he was about. He then proceeded on
-his journey, inwardly determined not to stop again, lest he
-might hear the dreaded name before he arrived at his sister’s,
-and there he trusted he was free from the infliction. Nevertheless,
-the name was mentioned at the wedding, and our farmer,
-under the influence of good cheer and hilarity, laughed loud
-and long as his brain began to whirl while thinking of the
-strange combination of circumstances that brought Kate
-Kavanagh for ever before him.</p>
-
-<p>At this wedding was a certain buck of the name of Magrah.
-He was a rake and a spendthrift, but, nevertheless, was artful
-and designing. He had heard of the beauty of Kate Kavanagh,
-and knowing that Mr Costigan was a neighbour of hers, he
-tormented him with questions about her, particularly “if
-<em>she had a fortune</em>?”</p>
-
-<p>For the first time in his life Dennis Costigan told an untruth
-with an evil intention. He protested that Kate Kavanagh
-had a fortune, and a good one too; he praised her person
-and industrious habits; and at last became so zealous in his
-friendship to his absent neighbours as to give a cordial invitation
-to Mr Magrah to his house, for the purpose of seeing and
-being introduced to the “belle o’ the barony,” but never once
-asking what sort of person this Magrah was, or what was his
-means of living.</p>
-
-<p>Mr Pat Magrah very eagerly accepted the invitation, returned
-with Mr Costigan, and was introduced to and charmed
-with handsome Kate Kavanagh, and he found his quarters so
-good, and his time pass so agreeably, that instead of a week
-he remained a month in the neighbourhood of the “flower of
-Forth,” quite enamoured with her beauty and attractions.</p>
-
-<p>Dennis Costigan was delighted. Like a true friend to one
-or all of the parties, he encouraged the courtship by every
-means in his power&mdash;even lending money to the suitor to enable
-him to cut a dash in the eyes of Miles Kavanagh and his
-daughter.</p>
-
-<p>At length the Bargie hero returned to his home for a short
-time, protesting that “he was quite confused an’ ashamed ov
-inthrudin’ so long on Misther Costigan’s hospitality, but that
-he would sartinly come again to look afther his sweetheart,
-for none but he should thransplant the ‘flower ov Forth.’”</p>
-
-<p>On the third evening after his departure, as part of the
-family of the Costigans were seated round the fire, Ned,
-our friend Dennis’s younger son, ran in all in a hurry, exclaiming,
-“News, friends, news! there’s a runaway match on
-the road to-night, for Denny Doran met a couple on horseback,
-sweepin’ like the win’ into Waxford, an’ he’ll take his
-oath Pat Magrah was the man, let who will be the woman!”</p>
-
-<p>“An’ Kate Kavanagh was sartinly the woman!” exclaimed
-Dennis Costigan, in undisguised delight, while his son James
-turned as pale as death. But the joy of the one and despair
-of the other was of short duration; for in the next instant
-Kate Kavanagh herself rushed in breathless, and apparently
-in much uneasiness. “Where’s Mary Costigan?” cried she
-anxiously, and examining the group round the fire. All
-seemed surprised and alarmed at her anxious appearance and
-inquiry, and Mrs Costigan repeatedly called her daughter,
-but got no answer.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh! ’tis too true!” said Kate; “an’, Misther Costigan,
-I’m sorry to have to say it. The scapegrace you brought to
-this neighbourhood has carried off your own daughter! My
-father met them on the road to Waxford, an’ knew them.”</p>
-
-<p>It would be impossible to describe the confusion of the
-family at this announcement. For a time all were stupified
-with astonishment. Then the brothers, giving vent to their
-rage in curses, sprang to their feet, and rushed out of the
-house; while the father, stung by many conflicting feelings,
-hung his head and remained powerless.</p>
-
-<p>“My child! my tendher dutiful child!” cried the distracted
-mother, wringing her hands in an agony of weeping. “My
-child! my child!” “Whisht! woman,” at last roared the
-farmer in a voice of thunder, unwilling to let his supposed
-enemy have the satisfaction to see their distress and confusion.
-“Whisht, I say! what has she done but got a good husband,
-what they are all strivin’ for, young an’ ould? Whisht, I
-say! or if ye must lament, lament that ye didn’t keep sitch
-notions out of her head till she was sixteen, any how.”</p>
-
-<p>“She was full seventeen, Dennis,” interposed the mother, in
-all her grief, as a woman anxious to defend her sex. “Don’t
-say the craithur was forward beyant her years, for she was
-full seventeen last October.”</p>
-
-<p>Up started the farmer. “We’ll soon end that argamint,”
-said he, seizing a candle, and striding furiously towards the
-parlour; “I have her age down in black an white, in my
-pocket-book.”</p>
-
-<p>They could hear him unlock his desk and searching amongst
-papers; then followed impatient mutterings, and at length a
-loud groan as if body and soul were parted. All now rushed
-to the parlour, where they found poor Costigan the image of
-heart-broken despair. He stood with his eyes fixed and his
-face as pale as marble: one hand grasped a pocket-book that
-seemed torn and empty, while the other hung listless by his
-side.</p>
-
-<p>“Marcy ov Heaven!” exclaimed the trembling wife, clinging
-to him for support, “what new misforthin’ has befallen
-us now?”</p>
-
-<p>The farmer groaned heavily ere he replied; and then it
-was in a broken, sunken voice&mdash;“We’re ruined, Alley! an’
-robbed, an’ I desarve it! The vilyen has not only taken our
-child from us, but robbed us of one hundhred pounds! See,
-here is the desk, bruck open, and the pocket-book empty, an’
-she did it at his instigation!”</p>
-
-<p>This was blow on blow! Mrs Costigan was a weak and
-delicate woman. She fell senseless to the ground, and was
-borne to her bed, from which she never rose again.</p>
-
-<p>And thus was Dennis Costigan’s treachery rewarded. He
-had brought a wretch to his house for the purpose of introducing
-him as an admirer to his honest neighbour’s daughter,
-without once inquiring into his character or circumstances;
-and the young fellow had cleverly turned the visit to account;
-for instead of portionless Kate Kavanagh, he carried off young
-and pretty Mary Costigan, and her hundred pounds!</p>
-
-<p>It is certain our barony Forth farmer felt this triple blow
-most severely, and the more so from his consciousness that
-he deserved it, and prepared the way for his misfortunes<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[Pg 253]</a></span>
-himself. But he was doomed to feel his lapse from honour
-and fair dealing yet more acutely, when on the day of his
-wife’s death he was accosted by his neighbour Miles Kavanagh,
-as he was droopingly wandering about his fields, shunning the
-crowds collected at the wake.</p>
-
-<p>“Misther Costigan,” began Miles abruptly&mdash;for the Irish
-peasant feels too warmly to take time to shape his gratulations
-or condolences with the go-about refinements of delicacy&mdash;“I
-am sorry for yer thrubble this day, an’ the more so
-bekase Mrs Costigan was ever the kind and friendly naibur,
-that never changed from hot to could like others. [Dennis
-winced.] I also heerd ov yer loss in other respects, but that
-loss will be soon made up, plaise God. In the main time,
-Misther Costigan, ye might want a thrifle of ready cash for
-the expinses ov the wake an’ berrin’; an’ as I’ve scraped
-together a matther ov a few pounds for the rint, but which is
-not called for yet, I’d be very glad to lind it to a friend, an’
-may be you’d take it, an’ ye may pay me whin you plaise.
-Faix, sitch poor men as me ought never to keep money long in
-the house for fear ov the vilyens ov rogues.”</p>
-
-<p>Dennis Costigan was unable to speak, and without accepting
-the money he motioned his honest neighbour away, and
-turned off abruptly. But Miles Kavanagh was not a man to
-be deterred from doing a kind action.</p>
-
-<p>“Hut-tut! Mr Costigan,” he continued, “don’t turn away
-from an ould naibur an’ friend. You think now that I bear a
-grudge to ye on account ov that vilyen ye brought down to
-court my Kate. I know all, ye see; an’ if I do, I freely forgive
-ye. Fathers, an’ ’specially rich fathers sitch as you, are
-a little partiklar, I suppose, about who their sons would marry,
-an’ it’s all right. But Dennis Costigan ought to have known
-us betther! He ought to have known that neither I nor my
-child would seek to enther any man’s family against his will,
-for he never seen any mean or disaivin’ ways in us. But all’s
-forgiven an’ forgotten now; so don’t be the laist suspicious
-ov us, but take the money that I freely offer, if you want it,
-an’ you’ll make a poor man an’ naibur happy. Turn about,
-man, an’ let us live in paice an’ good will while we’re on the
-earth together.”</p>
-
-<p>Dennis Costigan stood, perpendicular as a poplar, with his
-back to Miles Kavanagh while he was speaking, and the latter
-thought, from the stiffness of the farmer’s air, that he had
-nerved himself up to break sooner than bend, and that he was
-determined to retain his sturdy pride to the last, and perhaps
-to cut with him altogether. To Miles’s surprise, however,
-when he ceased speaking, portly Dennis wheeled right about,
-still perpendicular, seized the hand of his honest friend, and,
-as if the mere touch of a sympathising friend communicated
-a softness he was unused to, he wept aloud! yes, wept! and
-they were the first bitter tears he had ever shed.</p>
-
-<p>“But for the sake of human nathur, which I am glad to see
-so good,” said Dennis Costigan afterwards, “I’d most rather
-ye’d have abused me; I could have borne it betther!”</p>
-
-<p>Well, months passed over, and still the “belle o’ the
-barony” was making sad havoc with the hearts of the beaus.
-She had already all the trades enlisted under her banner, and
-it was a nice question whether she would spare one bachelor
-in an entire parish, or not. Fathers and mothers still complained,
-and the girls prayed that Kate Kavanagh were married,
-and out of the way. Matters were daily growing worse
-and worse, “confusion worse confounded,” in the country
-round.</p>
-
-<p>As a last resource, Dennis Costigan was reminded of his
-promised mission to Miles Kavanagh, to “coax him to settle
-his daughter out of hand,” and for the repose of the neighbourhood
-he agreed to do so. He now felt a warm friendship
-for both father and daughter, and it would make him really
-happy if he could be the means of assisting pretty Kate to a
-husband every way worthy of her. Still he had not brought
-himself to wish <em>his</em> son married to her, for he had taken it
-into his head that Jem was entitled to a girl with a couple of
-hundreds at least, and since his late loss he was more anxious
-on that score than ever.</p>
-
-<p>At last, deeming himself bound in honour to delay no longer
-from fulfilling his promise, Mr Costigan gravely proceeded to
-Miles Kavanagh’s cottage. He found the “flower of Forth”
-busily engaged in her little kitchen, scouring her deal tables
-and chairs, and singing merrily as she scoured. The labour
-had thrown a lovely glow over her fine face, and her smile
-was really bewitching as she welcomed Mr Costigan, and
-handed him a chair.</p>
-
-<p>“Is yer father within, Miss Kavanagh?” inquired Dennis,
-as kindly as the recollection of his son’s untoward situation
-would permit.</p>
-
-<p>“He is not, Mr Costigan,” Kate replied, “but I think he
-will be here presently, so you have nothing for it but to sit
-with a wild girl like me till he comes in.”</p>
-
-<p>Down plumped Mr Costigan, and to look at him one would
-imagine he had come a-suitoring himself, so awkward and
-confused did he seem while obliged to continue alone with the
-beautiful “plague upon earth.” He turned his head away
-from her, stuck an old pipe in his mouth for employment’s
-sake, and preserved a dead silence for ten minutes. Kate,
-perceiving his mood, troubled him with little chat. At length,
-tired of waiting for the father, the missionary condescended
-to address the daughter; and she, judging from the contortions
-of his phiz, thought the effort cost him as much as a
-spasm of cholera morbus.</p>
-
-<p>“Hem! haw! hum! I wondher very much that you don’t
-think ov changin’ yer state, Miss Kavanagh. The marriage
-life is the happiest life ov all, as I know (sighing deeply), an’
-I would recommend ye to thry it:” and he launched into a
-long harangue in praise of the honourable state, its happiness,
-comfort, and safety, compared to a single life&mdash;so full of peril
-to a female; to all of which our “belle o’ the barony” listened,
-and assented as demurely as could be wished. After lauding
-the state, and urging the necessity of it, he next proceeded
-to point out the most eligible match in his opinion, recommending
-of all things “an independent man, unburthened by
-fathers, mothers, sisters, or brothers; a single man in every
-sense, with whom she could have everything her own way, and
-no one to interfere;” and he named several whom he considered
-would be unexceptionable, but to all of whom our
-Kate had a quick and characteristic objection, as prompt and
-ready as if she had anticipated the visit of the matrimonial
-delegate, and guessed his errand. This is a specimen of the
-colloquy. After mentioning several others,</p>
-
-<p>“Well, what do you think ov long Jem Whalen?”</p>
-
-<p>“Why, that one pair of tongs in one house is enough.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, that won’t do! What do ye think ov John Barry?
-he’s a snug, warm fella.”</p>
-
-<p>“Warm enough, for he’s the dickens for fightin’!”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, Redmond Connors, the carpinther?”</p>
-
-<p>“He’s a close shaver, but not to my taste.”</p>
-
-<p>“Pullilliew! you’ll never be plaised. Have ye anything to
-say agin Burn, the mason?”</p>
-
-<p>“He’s too great a plastherer to be sincere.”</p>
-
-<p>“An’ what chance has the smith?”</p>
-
-<p>“He won’t forge <em>my</em> fetthers, that’s all.”</p>
-
-<p>“An’ the tailor?”</p>
-
-<p>“Must stitch himself to another.”</p>
-
-<p>Here the dialogue broke off abruptly, for neither the missionary
-nor the maiden could longer refrain from laughing;
-the former, though a grave and reverend signior at all times,
-was perfectly overcome by Kate’s naiveté and archness; and
-though he was farther than ever from attaining his object, he
-was in perfect good humour. Miles Kavanagh soon after entered
-the cottage, and much was he surprised to find his
-daughter and Mr Costigan tete-a-tete, and on such excellent
-terms. Nor was the surprise lessened, when he saw the
-farmer sit it out for two hours longer, still laughing and still
-joking, as if he and Kate had ever been the best of friends and
-banterers. At length Mr Costigan heavily arose from his
-seat, and declaring that he would come again on the same
-business (he forgot however to speak to Miles Kavanagh
-about it), he took his leave.</p>
-
-<p>And he did go again and again; and at the third visit
-Dennis Costigan and Miles Kavanagh retired to an inner
-apartment. Kate neither knew nor wished to know the
-subject of their confab; but she observed, that as the farmer
-was retiring after the last visit, he and her father shook hands
-as if clenching a bargain. “You’re mighty affectionate!”
-thought Kate; “I wonder yez didn’t kiss!”</p>
-
-<p>As well as I can remember, it was about a fortnight from
-the day of our friend Dennis Costigan’s visit to Miles
-Kavanagh’s cottage, that Watty Colfer (Watty always walks
-with his head down; mind, his face is an ell longer than any
-other face, so grave and thoughtful is he!) had just got inside
-father Tobin’s gate, and closed it after him, when he saw his
-reverence himself thundering down the avenue on St Patrick,
-his nag.</p>
-
-<p>“Yer sarvint, sur!” said Watty, very humbly, and hat in
-hand, and propping himself against the shut gate, “could I
-make so bould as just to spake one word to yer rivirince?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[Pg 254]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“Not one word!” replied the priest hastily, “if you were
-the bishop! I am in too great a hurry. Lave my way and
-open the gate.”</p>
-
-<p>“Thin, God help me,” groaned Watty, but still keeping his
-position, “that am neither priest nor bishop; I haven’t the
-head-piece for sitch great min; an’ all clargy must have great
-heads to keep in the larnin’. Now, is it a great weight intirely,
-sur?”</p>
-
-<p>The priest laughed in spite of his hurry, but as he well knew
-the man he had to deal with, he checked himself immediately,
-and assuming as determined a look as possible under the circumstances,
-he “commanded the slieveen to open the gate for
-him.”</p>
-
-<p>Watty too knew his man. He knew every variation of the
-priest’s temper, from its usual lake-like placidity, till it got up
-to boiling-water heat. He thought it was beginning to
-“simmer” a little, but far away yet from “bubbling and
-hissing;” and gratifying his own cool impudence, he continued
-the process of “heating up.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why, thin, indeed, what I have to say won’t keep ye long,
-sur.”</p>
-
-<p>“Open the gate this instant!” thundered the priest.</p>
-
-<p>“Sartinly, sur,” quoth Watty, turning quickly round and
-pretending to be very busy with the gate; “see this boult
-now! Och! my curse upon the whole corporation ov smiths,
-includin’ my own dacent uncle who made this same gate, an’
-so stiff an’ bad, that all I can do won’t shoot back the boult!
-A clever workman is a fine thing! An’ so you won’t listen to
-what I have to say, sur?”</p>
-
-<p>“I can’t, I tell ye. I’m going in all haste to marry a couple.”</p>
-
-<p>“Och! if I knew that, I’d be very sorry to detain your
-rivirince! What I have to say may well keep for another
-opportunity. See this curst boult now! Throth the skin is
-torn off my fingers strivin’ to pull it back, an’ yer rivirince in
-sitch a disperate hurry! But ye have the patience of Job
-himself, beyant all doubt. God help the couple that’s expectin’
-ye, sur! And who are they, the craithurs?”</p>
-
-<p>The impatient churchman looked at his watch and groaned:
-but as the inexorable gate would not open to let him pass
-through, he gratified the newsmonger with the information
-that “the couple he was about to marry were Dennis Costigan
-and Catherine, Miles Kavanagh’s daughter.”</p>
-
-<p>“Tunder an’ turf!” exclaimed Mr Colfer, opening his eyes
-as wide as he could, and raising his hands to express the extremity
-of astonishment. “Is it ould Dinnis Costigan, father
-to Jem, that’s goin’ to be married to handsome Kate Kavanagh,
-the belle o’ the barony?&mdash;it’s quite onpossible!”</p>
-
-<p>“It’s not impossible,” said the priest, angrily: “and I see
-nothing extraordinary in her father preferring to give her to
-a sensible steady old man, than to a wild young one. But
-don’t I see the gate open, and you pretending it was bolted?
-Oh! ye double-dyed slieveen, quit my way this moment, or
-by all that’s good I’ll let you feel the weight of this,” and he
-raised his horsewhip.</p>
-
-<p>“Och! wid all the pleasure in life!” quoth Watty, jumping
-quickly aside; and the gate flew open as if by magic,
-through which Father Tobin dashed at full speed.</p>
-
-<p>Watty then, sound in wind and limb, shot off through the
-fields&mdash;a short cut to a certain cross-road, about a mile from
-the priest’s house, and less than a quarter from Miles Kavanagh’s
-cottage, by which his reverence should pass. Puffing
-a little, he was just in time to gravely touch his hat as the
-priest cantered by. Then raising his voice he shouted after
-him, “Ride aisy, ride aisy, yer rivirince; take things aisy,
-can’t ye? Young James Costigan an’ Kate Kavanagh ran
-off together this mornin’, an’ they’re now man an’ wife!
-Arrah, take things aisy, can’t ye?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh! ye limb of Satan!” ejaculated the disappointed clergyman,
-as he pulled up to hear these tidings, “why didn’t
-you tell me this before, and not send me off on a fool’s errand?”</p>
-
-<p>“How could I, sur?” responded the slieveen, meekly,
-“when you war in sitch a disperate hurry?&mdash;sure ye wouldn’t
-let me spake at all at all!”</p>
-
-<p>His reverence returned to his home, muttering denunciations
-upon Watty’s devoted head; and Watty went his way,
-laughing immoderately at the success of his joke. He had
-given his spiritual director a ride of a mile or so without his
-breakfast, which no clerical stomach, Catholic or Protestant,
-could put up with, unless with a wedding breakfast in prospective.
-And he told but the truth after all. Young Costigan
-and handsome Kate had that morning given the knowing
-old ones the slip, and got married in Wexford; and Dennis,
-our portly friend Dennis, since he couldn’t have the “belle o’
-the barony” for his bride, put a good face on the matter, and
-received her as his daughter-in-law. Twelve rejected suitors
-were at the “hauling home;” amongst them Counsellor
-Shiel of course, who favoured the company with a song
-made for the occasion, the concluding lines of which we give:</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="verse">“Now industrious agriculthure transplants the “Flower of Forth,”</div>
-<div class="verse">To a cosy situation all shelthered from the North!”</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="right">M. G. R.</p>
-
-<h2 class="gap4">ON THE FOLLY OF SOWING BAD SEEDS
-BECAUSE THEY ARE CHEAP.</h2>
-
-<p class="center">BY MARTIN DOYLE.</p>
-
-<p>A few months ago I saw in the shop window of a petty seedsman
-near Dublin, an advertisement announcing the sale of
-grass seeds at two shillings and eightpence per barrel of four
-bushels. I had the curiosity to examine those seeds, which,
-as may be supposed from their price, were a compound of the
-germs of weeds, with a small proportion of grass seeds intermixed.
-I have no doubt that some poor and uncalculating
-petty farmers were silly enough to purchase this trash on the
-penny-wise and pound-foolish principle, and I well know that
-there is no point on which greater ignorance prevails than
-on that of a proper selection of grass seeds, although they
-should be sown with an accurate regard to the nature of the
-soil, the number of years during which the land is to be left
-in meadow or in pasturage, each of which conditions also requires
-a different description of seeds.</p>
-
-<p>The successful establishment of grass seeds depends materially,
-besides the clean and pulverised state of the land,
-on their adaptation to the soil; and if that be in a state perfectly
-fit for their reception, a much smaller quantity of seed
-will be sufficient than under the opposite circumstances; and
-if the land be in a foul state previously to laying it down, it
-is clear that the sowing of weed seeds, with a trifling and uncertain
-admixture of true grass seeds, cannot render it
-cleaner.</p>
-
-<p>In practical result, the farmer who leaves his field to the
-generosity of nature is more judicious, because in our humid
-climate the soil possesses a tendency to generate the indigenous
-grasses, of which some are really good, and which, from
-their overpowering qualities, soon dispossess those that may
-have been sown, and form a close and excellent turf. But
-to sow <em>weeds</em> is inexpressibly absurd, and this the man does
-who buys such a compound as that to which I have referred,
-or who sows them because he happens to have them by some
-means, and is unwilling to have them lost. Perhaps they
-have been collected from his own little rick of hay, which he
-knows to have been of the worst quality, or some stable boy
-has given him, or stolen for him, the dirty and perhaps fermented
-sweepings of a nasty hay loft, in which bad hay had
-been stored, and he is unwilling to throw away what he has
-so unluckily obtained: his <em>parkeen</em> soon bears testimony to his
-imprudence: and he admits, though reluctantly, that the grass
-seeds which he had sown were not of the best quality, though
-they were procured from a <em>hay loft</em>, when he perceives that
-they have only introduced an artificial increase of bad herbage,
-which his little stock of animals would unanimously reject, if
-hunger did not forbid such fastidiousness.</p>
-
-<p>But the deluded purchaser very frequently forgets that
-though he has a great <em>bulk</em> for his money, he has a bad bargain;
-he does not consider that the respectable seedsman,
-though he charges much more for his seeds, gives a far better
-quality in general, and does not sell <em>dirt</em> and unprolific grass
-seeds in the compound which he supplies. Petty seedsmen,
-no doubt, do so frequently; and how can it be otherwise, when
-their stock is a motley contribution from farmers’ wives,
-hostlers, and labourers, who collect every variety of good
-and bad seeds from every description of meadow and soil? It
-is better to pay a great deal more for the best seed, of which
-a far lesser proportion will suffice. I can conceive but one
-case in which a rational farmer could deliberately use such
-defective seed as that which I saw in the little huckster’s
-shop, namely, when he is about to surrender his farm (being
-obligated to lay down his land with grass), and has all that
-unamiable and inexcusable feeling which so generally prompts
-men in such circumstances to act in defiance of their great
-Christian principle of doing unto others as we would have
-them do unto us.</p>
-
-<p>In this case, a selfish ill-natured tenant wishes to annoy
-his landlord, and his own innocent successor, to the utmost<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[Pg 255]</a></span>
-of his power; and, therefore, while adhering to the letter of
-his agreement&mdash;to sow grass seeds&mdash;he breaks it in the spirit,
-and very effectually, in fact, too, by substituting weeds
-under the denomination of grasses.</p>
-
-<p>A prudent man who is not a perfect judge himself of the
-matter, will first consider the quality and nature of his land
-before he sows grass seeds, and then consult Lawson’s Tables,
-which furnish precise information on every particular as to
-the quality and quantity of seeds for all soils, and whether
-for one, two, three years, or for permanent pasture, and he
-will endeavour to obtain what he wants accordingly; not that
-this is often an easy matter of accomplishment, for few seedsmen
-have the varieties sufficiently distinct, although they are
-generally polite enough to say that they have them so.</p>
-
-<p>But how can they be always sure of this? We know the
-great difficulty, even in botanical gardens, of keeping the kinds
-separate, and the rapidity with which grass seeds become commingled.
-The only certain way is to raise the desired seeds
-in detached portions of land, perfectly clean, and carefully
-cleared of intruding plants. Can the seedsman, with the most
-honourable intentions and greatest caution, be himself secure
-from the effects of negligence or wilful imposition?</p>
-
-<p>But to return to the case of the poor man who thinks he
-has a bargain when he buys four bushels of bad grass seeds
-for half-a-crown. Though he sees the bad effects in the inferiority
-of his herbage, and at first lays the blame on the proper
-source, he actually persuades himself afterwards (when
-<em>He</em>, who in his bounty doth “clothe the grass of the field”
-throughout the whole earth, has covered the surface of his field
-with natural herbage) that to the seeds which he had sown two
-or three years previously, he is mainly to attribute what the
-prodigality of Nature, or, more properly, the munificence of
-God, has supplied.</p>
-
-<p>The man who sows bad or ill-suited grass seeds, merely
-because he has obtained them, and is unwilling to <em>lose</em> the
-acquisition, reminds me of an old lady who was for many years
-of her life in the habit of giving annually (in the spring of the
-year) to her grandchildren, a regular course of sulphur and
-treacle mixed up together, whether the recipients required it
-or not.</p>
-
-<p>On one occasion, a new servant maid, unacquainted
-with this system, was sent for the usual quantity of flour of
-sulphur, but by some mismanagement she brought home a
-pound of flour of mustard. Her mistress sent her back to the
-grocer from whom it had been bought, but from previous
-jealousies or quarrels unnecessary to detail, he refused to take
-it back again. The poor maid could not herself be expected
-to substitute the required sulphur, and the old lady was determined
-that the mustard should not be lost. She accordingly
-mixed it with the treacle instead of the other substance,
-and actually ladled every particle of the compound down the
-throats of her grandchildren and the servant maid, who consented
-to take her share as a punishment for her inattention,
-until the whole mixture was consumed. The old lady was
-less foolish than the farmer who sows the seeds of weeds, because
-she had previously ascertained that the flour of mustard
-was harmless; but the husbandman must know that those
-seeds which are not genuine grass seeds are noxious to his
-land, by rendering it foul, and it is therefore extravagance
-and not economy on his part to use bad seeds, merely to save
-waste.</p>
-
-<p>I am sorry to say that the same indifference prevails among
-the lower classes of our farmers as to seed in general. On
-this subject I shall again occupy a page of the Journal in an
-early number.</p>
-
-<p class="gap4"><span class="smcap">A Lazy Dog.</span>&mdash;Dr Arnaud d’Antilli, one day talking with
-the Duke de Laincourt upon the new philosophy of M.
-Descartes, maintained that beasts were mere machines; that
-they had no sort of reason to direct them; and that when
-they cried or made a noise, it was only one of the wheels of
-the clock or machine that made it. The Duke, who was of a
-different opinion, replied, “I have now in my kitchen two
-turnspits which take their turns regularly every other day to
-get into the wheel; one of them not liking his employment,
-hid himself on the day he should have wrought, so that his
-companion was forced to mount the wheel in his stead; when
-released, by crying and wagging his tail, he made a sign for
-those in attendance to follow him. He immediately conducted
-them to a garret, where he dislodged the idle dog and bit him
-severely.”&mdash;<cite>Dublin University Magazine.</cite></p>
-
-<h2 class="gap4">CURIOUS COINCIDENCES.</h2>
-
-<p>One of the most fruitful sources of superstition, and that
-which has been most productive of what are styled “well-founded
-and authenticated stories of supernatural occurrences,”
-is that Protean monster known in all its forms by
-the general appellation of “Remarkable or Curious Coincidences.”</p>
-
-<p>The frequent occurrence of events precisely similar in their
-details, though perfectly simple and ordinary individually, is
-apt to be considered, first, as remarkable, and, if again
-repeated, wonderful.</p>
-
-<p>In a recent number of the Penny Journal mention is made
-of the curious coincidence of three men having been found
-drowned at various times in the course of the same winter,
-in the same river, and the same place, or nearly, each with
-<em>two shirts</em> on, having given rise to the belief in that parish
-that it was unlucky to wear two shirts.</p>
-
-<p>But if persons should allow themselves to be guided in their
-actions by such observances, their lives would become perfectly
-burthensome from the constant state of watchfulness in
-which they would be obliged to live; for instance, the following
-anecdote would show the absolute necessity they would be
-under of ascertaining the names of their fellow-travellers,
-lest any one rejoicing in the name of Hugh Williams should
-be amongst them.</p>
-
-<p>The more juvenile readers of the Penny Journal must be
-informed that the portion of the sea which flows between the
-island of Anglesea and the coast of Wales, called the Menai
-Straits, which is now spanned by the celebrated Menai suspension
-bridge, was passable, previously to the erection of the
-bridge, only by boats, a regular ferry-boat plying constantly
-at the place called Bangor ferry. On the 6th day of December,
-in the year 1664, the ferry-boat, having eighty-one passengers
-on board, was upset whilst crossing the Strait, and
-only one man was saved, whose name was Hugh Williams.
-On the 6th day of December 1782, the boat then plying, containing
-about sixty persons, was upset, and all were lost excepting
-one passenger, whose name proved to be Hugh Williams.
-On the 5th of August 1820, a similar fate befell twenty-five
-unfortunate persons, one only of whom escaped, whose name
-was Hugh Williams!</p>
-
-<p>We should hope that none could now be found so weak, but
-certainly there have been those who, having heard this story,
-would fear to trust their precious lives in a ferry-boat with
-any one of the name of Hugh Williams, but a little local knowledge
-would go far in removing such an absurd apprehension,
-as indeed there are few of the most apparently extraordinary
-events, the origin of which cannot be traced to simple natural
-causes.</p>
-
-<p>The name of Williams prevails in the neighbourhood of
-Bangor, and Hugh is a favourite Christian name throughout
-all Wales. It is very probable that persons of the name of
-Williams, very possibly even Hugh Williams, were lost amongst
-the passengers on each of those occasions, but these were
-overlooked, whilst the coincidence of the individual saved being
-each time of the same name, was observed and recorded; the
-circumstance being simply accounted for by the ordinary
-rules of calculating odds or chances, for where the name of
-Hugh Williams prevailed, there was certainly a greater chance
-of one of that name being saved than one of any other, and,
-as we have before remarked, no account was made of how
-many Hugh Williamses perished.</p>
-
-<p class="right">N.</p>
-
-<p class="gap4"><span class="smcap">Industry.</span>&mdash;Let me say a word in behalf of this home-spun
-virtue. It may seem superfluous, perhaps impertinent, to enforce
-industry upon the hardest-working people in the world,
-as I conceive our good countrymen to be; but I speak of it
-as a part of education&mdash;as a principle to be inculcated upon
-childhood. Its proper limits I shall hereafter attempt to define.
-In this country it is the duty of every individual to live
-an active life. No one, even though he be rich, has a right to
-be idle or useless. In the hive of bees there is a privileged
-class of drones; but there the government is despotic, with a
-queen at its head. Ours is a republican government, which
-admits of no drones, and tolerates no aristocratic indolence.
-Nor is industry more a duty to society than a source of individual
-happiness. There are no pleasures so sweet as those
-earned by effort, no possessions so dear as those acquired by
-toil. The truth is, that the main happiness of life consists in
-the vigorous exercise of those faculties which God has given
-us. Thus it usually happens that more enjoyment is found in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[Pg 256]</a></span>
-the acquisition of property than in its possession. How often
-does the rich man, surrounded with every luxury, look back
-from the pinnacle which he has attained, with fond regret, to
-those days of humble but happy toil when he was struggling
-up the steep ascent of fortune! Make industry, then, a part
-of fireside education. Teach it to your children as a point of
-duty; render it familiar to them by practice. Personal exertion
-and ready activity are natural to some children, and these
-hardly need any stimulus to the performance of duties requiring
-bodily exertion. There are others who have an indolence,
-a reluctance to move, either uniform or periodical, in their
-very constitution. If neglected, these children will grow up
-in the habit of omitting many duties, or of performing only
-those which are agreeable. It is indispensable that such should
-be trained to patient exertion, habituated to the performance
-of every duty in the right time and the right way, even though
-it may require self-denial and onerous toil. A person who
-cannot compel himself, from a mere sense of duty, to overcome
-a slothful reluctance to do what is disagreeable, is but
-half educated, and carries about him a weakness that is likely
-to prove fatal to his success in life. Such a person may act
-vigorously by fits and starts as he may be occasionally urged
-by impulse; but the good begun will often remain unfinished,
-and, from subsequent negligence, will result in final disaster.
-The only safe way is to found industry upon principle, and
-establish it by habit. While, therefore, I would inculcate
-industry, I would remark that it may be carried to excess.
-Every virtue has its bordering vice. The extreme of courage
-touches upon the precincts of rashness, and a step beyond the
-proper limit of industry brings you into the dreary regions of
-avarice.&mdash;<cite>Fireside Education, by S. G. Goodrich, an American
-Author.</cite></p>
-
-<p class="gap4"><span class="smcap">The Sabbath.</span>&mdash;Nature always seemed to me to “keep
-Sabbath” in the wilderness. I used to fancy that the wild
-birds were more quiet on that day, sitting on the branches
-with their heads under their wings, smoothing their plumage,
-or looking quietly about them, and sometimes venturing a
-faint warble, scarcely above a whisper. And I have seen a
-large wolfish animal stand for hours upon a dry log, on the
-bank of the river, contemplating the stream, or gazing into
-the air; once or twice, perhaps, starting suddenly a few paces,
-but then halting as if he had given up the idea; and his tail
-all the while hanging listlessly down, as if indicating that no
-enterprise could be undertaken on that day. Just like the
-merchant who may be seen in the city, on a bright Sunday
-morning, in clean shirt collar, and with hands thrust into his
-pockets, loitering slowly down the street, or standing in ruminating
-attitude at the corner, pondering carefully every step
-of the morrow’s tangled path, or perhaps calculating the
-amount of time lost in Sundays, by the whole world, taken
-individually and collectively from Moses’s day to the present
-time; but on the whole, enduring the Sabbath with Christian
-resignation.</p>
-
-<p class="gap4"><span class="smcap">Critics.</span>&mdash;It is a little singular that the mass should attach
-much importance to the small opinions of every-day critics.
-Because a man happens to have the facilities of <em>publishing</em> his
-views and opinions to the world, though he be the veriest
-blockhead on earth, his verdict is often of more than ordinary
-weight among men. Indeed, a Johnson could not influence
-some men by his <em>verbal</em> opinion, to the extent that an ignoramus
-can influence them through “press and types.” The
-“dignity of print” has a strange effect. Although it is but
-one man who speaks, and he may have one hundred opponents
-who may argue successfully against him, yet they will all fail
-with the public. But let either of them <em>publish</em> the same
-opinion, and the ore, which was rich and weighty, becomes
-refined. Common critics, moreover, are always ready to find
-imperfections, for thus will the public be made acquainted with
-their <em>penetration</em>. In fact, many of them seem to think that
-to criticize <em>is</em> to find fault; “else (they reason) where is the
-necessity of criticism?” It is said that any fool can fire a
-house. So can any man criticize a book; but very few can
-build the one or write the other. Many of the vinegar-critics
-of the day who haunt the shores of literature, would utterly
-fail in penning even the <em>preface</em> to a respectable book. It is a
-recorded and well-known fact that many of our standard
-works were rejected for the want of a publisher, owing to the
-unfavourable opinion of stolid rule-and-figure critics; but when
-they came before the people, who, judging from the impulses
-of the heart, are never wrong, how soon was their verdict
-reversed! The <span class="smcapuc">PEOPLE</span> are the only true tribunal. They
-separate, with the hand of a refiner, the dross from the gold.
-By them genius is preserved, and pretension discarded.&mdash;<cite>Knickerbocker.</cite></p>
-
-<p class="gap4">The boxes of the opera, splendid as they are, and splendid
-as the appearance of those in them is, do not breathe a spirit
-of enjoyment. They are rather like the sick wards of luxury
-and idleness, where people of a certain class are condemned
-to perform the quarantine of fashion for the evening.&mdash;<cite>Hazlitt.</cite></p>
-
-<p class="gap4"><span class="smcap">Deceivers.</span>&mdash;We are born to deceive or to be deceived.
-In one of these classes we must be numbered; but our self-respect
-is dependent upon our selection. The practice of deception
-generally secures its own punishment; for callous
-indeed must be that mind which is insensible of its ignominy!
-But he who has been duped is conscious, even in the very
-moment that he detects the imposition, of his proud superiority
-to one who can stoop to the adoption of so foul and sorry a
-course. The really good and high-minded, therefore, are
-seldom provoked by the discovery of deception; though the
-cunning and artful resent it, as a humiliating triumph obtained
-over them in their own vocations.</p>
-
-<p class="gap4"><span class="smcap">Wit.</span>&mdash;Wit is the lightning of the mind, reason the sunshine,
-and reflection the moonlight; for as the bright orb of
-night owes its lustre to the sun, so does reflection owe its existence
-to reason.</p>
-
-<p class="gap4"><span class="smcap">Premature Wisdom.</span>&mdash;The premature wisdom of youth
-resembles the forced fruit of our hot-houses; it looks like the
-natural production, but has not its flavour or raciness.</p>
-
-<p class="gap4"><span class="smcap">Poor.</span>&mdash;A term of reproach in England, and of pity in
-most other countries.</p>
-
-<p class="gap4"><span class="smcap">Poets and Astronomers.</span>&mdash;Poets view nature as a book
-in which they read a language unknown to common minds, as
-astronomers regard the heavens, and therein discover objects
-that escape the vulgar ken.</p>
-
-<p class="gap4"><span class="smcap">Peace of Mind.</span>&mdash;Though peace of mind does not constitute
-happiness, happiness cannot exist without it; our
-serenity being the result of our own exertions, while our happiness
-is dependent on others: hence the reason why it is so
-rare; for, on how few can we count? Our wisdom, therefore,
-is best shown in cultivating all that leads to the preservation
-of this negative blessing, which, while we possess it
-will prevent us from ever becoming wholly wretched.</p>
-
-<h2 class="gap4">ANSWER TO THE ENIGMA IN No. 17.</h2>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="verse">Mr Teague, the enigma you sent me, my honey,</div>
-<div class="verse">Must mean, I conjecture, a round bit o’ money;</div>
-<div class="verse">But what it can be, is a regular stopper,</div>
-<div class="verse">Unless it’s a coinage from some kind of copper;</div>
-<div class="verse">Though your Dean of St Patrick’s did not like the stuff,</div>
-<div class="verse">For this very fair reason&mdash;’twas not big enough.</div>
-<div class="verse">So here goes a guess&mdash;and, in truth, to be plain,</div>
-<div class="verse">It’s a good honest Penny your honour will mane.</div>
-<div class="verse">Ah, Geordy, full oft have they tried to disgrace,</div>
-<div class="verse">With buffets and blows, thy right royal old face;</div>
-<div class="verse">Let them hammer away till they’re all in a pet,</div>
-<div class="verse">For real solid worth thou’rt the best of the set.</div>
-<div class="verse">E’en O’Connell must own, though he don’t like the mint,</div>
-<div class="verse">That thou art the cream of his flourishing rint!</div>
-<div class="verse">As for gold, it flies off like the chaff or the stubble,</div>
-<div class="verse">Leaving little behind but vexation and trouble.</div>
-<div class="verse">And that mealy-fac’d silver, experience of old</div>
-<div class="verse">Says is only too apt to take wings after gold&mdash;</div>
-<div class="verse">In fact, I ne’er found, from the mohur to piastre,</div>
-<div class="verse">That one kind or other went slower or faster;</div>
-<div class="verse">Do just as you like, it seems a thing plann’d,</div>
-<div class="verse">That one of those vagrants shall ne’er be on hand.</div>
-<div class="verse">We well know what wonders a Penny can do,</div>
-<div class="verse">What instruction and comfort a mite will bestow.</div>
-<div class="verse">The stores of the world, its rust and its lumber,</div>
-<div class="verse">Come brighten’d and polish’d in each penny number.</div>
-<div class="verse">The well-spring of knowledge is open to all&mdash;</div>
-<div class="verse">The Penny has spread it through cottage and hall.</div>
-<div class="verse">So now, my friend Teague, let the great have the guinea.</div>
-<div class="verse">You and I’ll be contint if we’ve always a <span class="smcap">Pinny</span>.</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<div class="blockquote">
-
-<p>Printed and published every Saturday by <span class="smcap">Gunn</span> and <span class="smcap">Cameron</span>, at the Office
-of the General Advertiser, No. 6, Church Lane, College Green, Dublin.&mdash;Agents:&mdash;<span class="smcap">R.
-Groombridge</span>, Panyer Alley, Paternoster Row, London;
-<span class="smcap">Simms</span> and <span class="smcap">Dinham</span>, Exchange Street, Manchester; <span class="smcap">C. Davies</span>, North
-John Street, Liverpool; <span class="smcap">J. Drake</span>, Birmingham; <span class="smcap">Slocombe</span> &amp; <span class="smcap">Simms</span>,
-Leeds; <span class="smcap">Fraser</span> and <span class="smcap">Crawford</span>, George Street, Edinburgh; and
-<span class="smcap">David Robertson</span>, Trongate, Glasgow.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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