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diff --git a/old/54806-0.txt b/old/54806-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index abf4829..0000000 --- a/old/54806-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1387 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Stephen H. Branch's Alligator Vol. 1 no. -10, June 26, 1858, by Stephen H. Branch - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Stephen H. Branch's Alligator Vol. 1 no. 10, June 26, 1858 - -Author: Stephen H. Branch - -Release Date: May 29, 2017 [EBook #54806] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR, JUNE 26, 1858 *** - - - - -Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at -http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images -generously made available by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - - Transcriber Notes - - Obvious typos and missing punctuation fixed. Archaic spelling and - inconsistencies in hyphenation retained. - Unclear text in the ads in the original has been clarified by review of - the same ads printed more clearly in other issues. - The table of contents has been created and added by the transcriber. - Italics are represented by underscores surrounding the _italic text_. - Small capitals have been converted to ALL CAPS. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - Life of Stephen H. Branch. 1 - - Supervisor Blunt, and Paul 2 - Julien—My Last Interview - with Madame Sontag. - - James Gordon Bennett’s 3 - Editorial Career. - - _For the Alligator._ 3 - - NEW YORK, June 15, 1858. 4 - - Advertisements. 4 - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - -[Illustration: STEPHEN H. BRANCH’S ALLIGATOR.] - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - Volume I.—No. 10.] SATURDAY, JUNE 26, 1858. [Price 2 Cents. - - - Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1857, by - STEPHEN H. BRANCH. - - In the Clerk’s Office of the District Court of the United - States for the Southern District of New York. - - - - - Life of Stephen H. Branch. - - -Westport, Connecticut,—that he boarded at No. 24 Bleecker street, with -Mrs. Mallory, and that he was a clerk for Perkins, Hopkins, and White, -in Pearl street, near Hanover Square. I carried some beautiful books to -his place of business, and requested him to accept them. He sweetly -smiled, and opened the books, and warmly thanked me, and said he would -be pleased to receive them, but that as I was a stranger, he would -rather I would see his guardian, Morris Ketchum, a Banker in Wall -street, and give him my name and address, and if he were satisfied with -my references, and approved of his acceptance of the generous gift, he -would be most happy to receive the books. I was fascinated with his -modesty, and caution, and I took the books, and repaired to the Banking -House of Mr. Ketchum, to whom I briefly imparted what had transpired, -and left my references and departed, and called again, when Mr. Ketchum -said that he had inquired respecting my character, and that young Jesup -was prepared to receive my books, which I soon placed in his hands, and -our acquaintance began under the most favorable auspices. I soon invited -him to dine with me at Mrs. Tripler’s, when all the boarders were -enchanted with his beautiful person, and pleasing manners, and highly -cultivated mind; and I shall never forget how proud I was, as he sat -beside me. After dinner, I invited him to my room, where I gave him cake -and lemonade, and filled his pockets with delicious oranges. I then -played “Washington’s March,” “Yankee Doodle,” and “Hail Columbia,” for -him on the piano, and he departed for his place of business. He went -with me to Niblo’s Garden, then in its glory, and as we strolled -arm-in-arm in the meandering paths, and inhaled the exhilarating perfume -of the flowers, I was charmed with his chaste society, and enraptured -and inspired, and I breathed the music of language in his ears, and we -both were invested with the purest and loftiest and happiest emotions. -In a week from that joyous evening, he was seized with bleeding of the -lungs, caused by excited feelings, during his enthusiastic efforts to -please his employers, in the sleepless business season of early autumn. -He was borne to his mother’s abode in the country, where he soon calmly -resigned his soul to the Saviour, whose sacred virtues he had always -strove to imitate. Although I had briefly enjoyed the pleasure of his -society, yet his premature demise created a void in my bosom that made -the world a desolation. His mother soon removed to New York, and -occupied No. 39 Bond street, where I gratuitously taught her children in -English and the classics. But the invisible germ of consumption has -borne to the grave her pure, intelligent, and lovely Caroline, Charles, -Richard, and Frederick, and Morris, Arthur, Samuel, and Sarah anticipate -the same remorseless destiny. And may God cheer and bless their mother -in her loneliness and tears. The father of this interesting and -unfortunate family, was prostrated in the commercial crash of 1837, and -his depressed and spotless soul fled for refuge to the bosom of his God. -Morris Ketchum was his early business associate and friend, and has -educated his children, procured them lucrative clerkships, afforded them -facilities to visit nearly every nation, for health and general culture, -established them in houses of commerce, and has clung to them, in sun -and storm, like Pythias to Damon, and like Washington to his country. At -this period of my eventful career, I taught colored and Irish servants, -and those of all countries, in their kitchens in the evening, and -sometimes by daylight. Some paid me one shilling a lesson, and some two, -according to their wages and generosity. I taught the servants of the -Reverend Doctor Wainright, the Reverend Doctor Orville Dewey, Daniel -Lord, James T. Brady, Mr. Bowen, of Brooklyn, (of the firm of Bowen & -McNamee, of New York,) and the servants of other distinguished citizens. -I obtained scholars by going from door to door, in the basement, and -asking the servants if they would like to learn to spell, read, write, -and cipher. My health had been miserable since I left Columbian College, -and I often expected to fall dead in the street, or suddenly expire in -the presence of my pupils. For a long period after young Jesup died, I -was very gloomy, and became utterly helpless and bed-ridden, and called -oftener on my father for money than I desired, to pay for board and -medical attendance. I got better, and crawled out into the open air, and -went in pursuit of scholars in a snow storm. I began at the Battery, and -applied at every door, until I came to No. 70 Greenwich street, when I -was asked to come in and warm myself, by a daughter of the lady of the -house, who kept boarders. After a long conversation, by a cheerful fire, -I was engaged to teach the daughter in the English branches, for my -breakfast and tea, and a very small dark room as a place of lodging, -which I could not conveniently occupy without a candle in the day time. -Humble as were to be my accommodations, my feelings were extremely -buoyant, and my ghastly form trembled with delight at my unexpected -resurrection from the depths of indigence and despair. Mr. Ditchett, -(subsequently a very efficient Captain of the Fourth Ward Police, and a -brave fireman, and an honest man,) had just married the eldest daughter, -whose sister was to be my pupil. I was kindly treated, and remained -until the first of May, when I went to Dey street, and afterwards to the -Graham House, at No. 63 Barclay street, where I saw the lean Horace -Greeley, one of the founders of the Graham System. The boarders were -mostly skeletons, and several were limping about the house, like frogs -or lizzards or grasshoppers, and among the limpers, was Horace Greeley, -who had what the Grahamites called a boiling crisis, or crisis of boils, -which was the result of youthful indiscretion, shower bathing, and -eating heartily of bran bread, mush and molasses, squashes, turnips, -beets, carrots, parsneps, and onions, for a long term of years. Although -I had been a miserable invalid a large portion of my days, yet I fancied -a speedy restoration to health, by eating unbolted wheat bread and -vegetables, and frequent bathing. I entered into a spirited conversation -with Greeley, who was reclining on the sofa, and in a loquacious mood, -who told me that he expected to be quite smart after the disappearance -of a large number of boils then all over his person, which he attributed -to salt rheum, that he inherited from his father, and which was recently -driven to the surface of his skin by a rigid adherence to the Graham -System, and three shower baths a day; and he advised me to begin to -bathe immediately, and to eat nothing but Graham bread for one month, -with warm water, milk, and sugar. I asked Greeley if he was sure it was -the secondary or inherited salt rheum that had come to the surface of -his snowy flesh in the form of boils, and he said he was quite sure it -was, as his father had it from his boyhood. I asked him if his secondary -or inherited salt rheum ever itched, and he said yes, sometimes, but he -was sure it was not the secondary itch, as he never had the first itch. -I then looked him dead in the eye, and asked him if he was positively -sure his boils were not the result of itch, and he asked me what I meant -by such severity of scrutiny. I replied, that I once had the itch, and -read many books on the subject, and knew all about it, and that his -boils (he had two on his pale nose) looked very much like secondary itch -blossoms. He cast searching glances, and sat in paralytic silence, save -when he scratched his boils, and the bell summoned me to my first Graham -dinner, and Greeley hopped to the table on one leg, and sat near Mrs. -Goss at the head of the Graham festive board. About forty skeletons were -present, and among them were Sylvester Graham (Bread,) himself, on a -lecturing tour from his country seat at Northampton; John McCracken, of -New Haven; Ralph Waldo Emerson; Abby Kelly; Fred Douglas and lady; -Francis Copcutt, mahogany dealer, who used to eat raw oats, and ride 30 -miles a day on a hard trotting horse for dyspepsia; Jeremiah O. -Lanphear, tailor, and now first deacon and missionary of the Fulton -street Dutch Presbyterian Church, who had a gravel nearly as large as -General Winfield Scott’s, which was the largest that ever emanated from -a human bladder; Mrs. Farnham, the accomplished lady and genuine -philanthropist, and wife of the noble and famous California traveler, -who was the rival of Fremont as a mountaineer; Mrs. Anna Stephens, the -fertile and genial authoress; the celebrated Doctor Shew and lady; Mrs. -Storms, of Troy, and long a writer and foreign correspondent of the _New -York Sun_, and now of Texas; poor MacDonald Clark, the poet; Galutia B. -Smith; Matthew B. Brady, the daguerreotypist, who married his sweetheart -at the Graham House, and the room being crowded, I saw the exercises -through the key hole; Mrs. Travis; Albert Brisbane, a moonlight dreamer; -Mrs. Andrews, a strong Unitarian, (ninety-eight years old,) and her -grandson, Albert L. Smith, a nervous and catarrhal gentleman, who now -keeps a Graham House and Water Cure Establishment in West Washington -Place; Dr. John Burdell, brother of Dr. Harvey Burdell, who was -assasinated at No. 31 Bond Street; Leroy Sunderland, a Mesmeriser and -Pathetic lecturer; John M. King; George Foss; Dr. Henry W. Brown; E. -Gould Buffum, and his brother, William Buffum, now Consul at _Trieste_; -Mrs. Horace Greeley; Mr. Clutz; Mrs. Van Vleet; Messrs. Tyler, Bennett, -(a tailor), Otis, and Ward; Mrs. Gove; C. Edwards Lester; Mr. Danforth, -a spurious reformer; the brothers Fowler, phrenologists; father Miller, -the Millenium impostor; Mr. Seymour, a journeyman hatter at Beebe’s, who -got among the noisy methodists, who frightened him into a dangerous -nervous affection, and in bed one night, poor Seymour felt cold and -strange and numb, and pinched himself in the arms and legs, and it -didn’t hurt him, and he thought he was dead, and he got up, and kindled -a match, and lit a candle, and looked in the glass to see whether he was -dead or alive, and when he saw his eyes roll, and his jaws open and -close, he got into bed, and went to sleep. This was the gang at table, -and for dinner, we had bran bread and crackers, bean soup, roast apples -and potatoes, and boiled squash and carrots, but not a particle of meat, -grease, nor spices. All grabbed violently at the Graham viands, and -brought their teeth together like swine, and with similar grunts and -squeals. I calmly surveyed the motley and hungry group, and saw many -small piercing gray eyes, hollow cheeks, and sharp chins and noses, and -the voices of nearly all were husky and fearfully sepulchral. The themes -discussed were Anti-Slavery and Grahamism, and I soon perceived it -extremely perilous to breathe a word against the ultra views of the -susceptible and long-haired Graham spectres, who seemed united to a -ghost on these prolific themes. So, I listened and breathed not a -syllable in opposition to the crazy views advanced. I took a stroll -after dinner, and returned at sunset, and seated myself for my evening -meal, when we had Graham-bread-coffee, milk porridge, apple sauce, -Graham mush, and boiled rice, sparingly saturated with molasses and -liquid ginger. I ate and drank freely of this light food, and arose from -the table in excellent spirits, though I belched frequently. My belly -soon began to swell, and I got alarmed, and I asked Mr. Goss, the Graham -host, what it meant. He seemed perfectly cool, and said that his -boarders were often affected in that way, in passing suddenly from -greasy meats to the pure food of Grahamites, which was chiefly of a -vegetable and somewhat of a gassy and flatulent character. Goss then -left me. I thrice paced the parlor hurriedly, and began to feel choleric -and crampy, and went down stairs into the kitchen, and asked Goss to -send for a physician immediately, which he declined to do, as he thought -I was only a little spleeny, which would soon pass away, and advised me -to go to bed. He got me a Graham candle, and up we went, and did not -stop until we reached the roof, where he put me in a little room, with -two cots, on which there was a straw mattress, and a straw bolster, and -scanty covering. He said good night, and shut the door, and I got into -bed, and strove to sleep. I squirmed like an eel for about two hours, -and could endure my pains no longer, and arose and awoke my room-mate, -and asked him to escort me to the sleeping apartment of Mr. Goss. He did -so, and I knocked at his door, and out he came in his nightcap and white -apparel. I told him that I had cramps, and had an awful quantity of -frantic wind in my stomach, and felt as though my belly would burst -before morning, and that I was deathly sick, and asked him what on earth -I had eaten at his table to give me such violent cramps and flatulence -and diarrhœa, and nauseous and strange emotions. He told me that I was -nervous, and not accustomed to Graham food, but that I soon would be, -and urged me to again retire, and strive to sleep. He spoke these words -with kindness, and they soothed me, and I shook his hand, and off I went -up stairs to bed again. But in about ten minutes, I had a severe spasm, -with choking sensations, and I leaped from my nest like a man in his -last gasp, and unconsciously cast myself on the cot of my room-mate, who -instantly emerged from a profound sleep, and sprang like a tiger from -his bed, and threw me severely to the floor, and cried murder to the -pinnacle of his voice, and began to pelt me in the most brutal manner, -leveling the most savage random blows at my head and stomach. Goss and -the spectral boarders rushed into the room, and Greeley soon came -limping in, and they searched in vain for knives, revolvers, and human -blood. And they soon learned the cause of the cry of murder, and raised -me from the floor, and put me into bed, with a bloody nose and dark eye, -that my room-mate gave me, who apologised for his blows on the ground -that he always slept soundly, and was only partially awake when he beat -me. I accepted his apology, and Goss and Greeley, and half-a-dozen -attenuated Grahamites left me, for their beds again, and my chum took a -seat by my cot, and strove to soothe me. But the cramps returned, and I -became faint and giddy, and began to vomit profusely. I soon filled -basins, pitchers, spit boxes, hats, and boots, and deluged every thing -we had in the room, and my chum got a pitcher and basin in the next -room, and I soon flooded them, and I vomited until I thought I felt my -entire bowels struggling at my throat to get out, which nearly strangled -me. At last an enormous chunk came out, which proved to be the core of a -stewed apple, and the crust of Graham bread combined into a sort of -petrified substance, and I began to breathe again, and slowly improved -till daylight, - - When I embraced a sweet repose, - And snored like thunder through my nose. - - (To be continued to my last scream.) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - Stephen H. Branch’s Alligator. - - ------------------------------------------------------ - - NEW YORK, SATURDAY, JUNE 26, 1858. - - ------------------------------------------------------ - -STEPHEN H. BRANCH’S “ALLIGATOR” CAN BE obtained at all hours, (day or -night,) at wholesale and retail, at No. 128 Nassau Street, Near Beekman -Street, and opposite Ross & Tousey’s News Depot, New York. - - ------------------------------------ - - - - -Supervisor Blunt, and Paul Julien—My Last Interview with Madame Sontag. - - -When I taught Alderman Orison Blunt the English branches at his elegant -residence in Murray street, I gave instruction to Paul Julien, the -juvenile Paganini, and to Rocco, and also to Madame Sontag in elocution, -in anticipation of her appearance in English Opera at Niblo’s, on her -return from Mexico. At the close of a long and interesting lesson, -Sontag opened her great heart to me, and disclosed her career from her -earliest recollection. Her narrative was eloquent and exciting, and as -she sat before me at the parlor lattice, in alternate tears and smiles, -with the moon rolling like a ball of silver through the air, she seemed -too pure and beautiful for earth. Her tears were the very soul of -sorrow, and none could resist their overwhelming influence,—her smiles -were irresistibly enchanting,—her voice in conversation was full of -entrancing melody,—her cavern dimples were the emblems of purity and -charity, and her entire expression was divine. And as her blood warmed, -and her bosom rose and fell, and her voice trembled and darted from the -faintest whisper to its highest intonation, her glorious eyes reflected -gorgeous temples in her soul, filled with sinless angels, breathing -sweet music to millions of her species. And the beauteous Sontag told -me, as we sat together in our last communion as human pilgrims, that her -childhood, and girlhood, and early womanhood were all devoted to the -cultivation of music for the enjoyment of the world more than herself, -which rendered her early years an utter sacrifice, and had deprived her -of the pastimes enjoyed by all her sex in the morning of life; that from -the hour she was called “_The little Daughter of the Danube_,” there was -no happiness for her; that she was early beset by lovers from nearly -every nation of Europe; that kings and queens lavished their choicest -treasures upon her; that princes besought her affections in tearful -supplications; that all France prostrated herself at her feet; that amid -the flattery and adulations of all classes and kingdoms, she was -induced, in a thoughtless hour, to cast herself into the eternal -embraces of a being who proved a jealous and savage tyrant, and a -heartless gamester; that ere her emergence from the brief hours of bliss -that should follow the marriage vow, he became odious in her eyes, and -she beheld a life of misery in all her future; that after years of -torture in his demon fangs, and after he had squandered her splendid -fortune of four millions of dollars, he dragged her from the sacred -precincts of private life, and from the pleasing society of her -children, into the public arena, to toil for his subsistence; that he -forced her to exchange hemispheres, and leave her tender offspring, when -they most required a mother’s protection; that he often brandished a -dagger in her eyes, when she refused to fill his purse for bibbling and -gaming purposes; that she was in fear of his poignard throughout her -long confinement in his hideous clutches; that for his traduction and -persecution of Alboni in her early years, she resolved to pursue her to -America to annoy, and, if possible, ruin her, for his sake, by singing -against her in the leading cities; that on the very day she publicly -announced her intention to visit America, Alboni went to the Cathedral, -and knelt at the altar, and swore that she would pursue her through all -latitudes, and cut the grass beneath her feet, to avenge herself on -Count Rossi, who strove to blight the buds and blossoms of her youth and -indigence; that she kept her oath, and followed her through city, town, -and village, and allured her choristers, through extravagant salaries -and donations, and sang on the evenings of her Concert and Opera -entertainments, and greatly reduced her receipts; that Rossi seized her -funds, as they accrued, and deposited them in banks unknown to her; that -her children often wrote in vain for means to defray their domestic -expenses; that Rossi, and Maretzek, and Ullman received all the benefit -of her arduous labors; that her lovely daughters were in the care of -strangers in Europe, and exposed to all the snares of life; that their -education was fatally neglected in her absence; that she was a slave to -Rossi, Maretzek, and Ullman, all of whom she thoroughly despised, and -that she had very seriously contemplated suicide. And thus did this -celestial being breathe her pensive music in my soul, and bathe my -vision with nature’s hallowed waters. And amid our mutual tears, and -smiles, and cheerful tones, and lingering glances, she enters the dismal -cars, and the bell proclaims the parting signal, and she penetrates the -deep perspective, until she is forever buried from my melancholy view. -She gives concerts on the borders of the northern lakes, and visits -Cincinnati, and quarrels and separates from Ullman, and goes to New -Orleans, and performs in Opera, and enters Mexico, amid the revengeful -maledictions of Ullman, who, as Rocco told me, dug her early grave, by -arousing the fearful jealousy of Rossi, to whom Ullman wrote from New -York, that he would find letters in her trunk from Pozzolini, the young -and fascinating tenor; that Rossi did find letters in her trunk from -Pozzolini, (filled with the most enthusiastic love,) which Rocco said -were doubtless placed there by Ullman, prior to her departure for -Mexico, to revenge himself on Sontag, for her refusal at Cincinnati to -give more Concerts under his direction; that Rossi belched words of -fire, and threatened her with instant death; that herself and Pozzolini -were seized with violent pains, on their return from the Mexican -festivals; that during her confinement, Rocco daily called, but was not -permitted to see her; that Rossi paced the balcony as a sentinel for -days and nights, and would let no one visit her; that he permitted Rocco -to enter her apartment only one hour before she died, when he found her -in the wildest delirium. And Rocco told me that Sontag and Pozzolini -were doubtless poisoned by Count Rossi, and that Ullman was the -instigator. Rossi artfully attributed their sudden death to cholera, but -the rumor flew on the wings of lightning, that Rossi was their murderer, -and he fled for his life to New York, with all her jewels, and went to -Europe. And Rocco sorely grieved to see her borne to her sepulchre -without kindred mourners in a far distant land; and when he saw her form -exhumed, and borne through mud and stones, and deposited as luggage in -the filthy suburbs of Vera Cruz, and exposed for weeks to the heat and -rain of those withering latitudes,—when he gazed at the remains of a -being who had been the pride and glory and adoration of all civilised -nations, and who had long been his own dear friend, poor Rocco -prostrated himself beside her coffin, and wept for hours in loneliness -and utter desolation. And now, dear Sontag, I can see thy pure and -genial spirit in its happy home, beyond the pretty stars. And while I -indite these melancholy words, thy sweet face smiles upon me from my -parlor wall, as you appeared in the immortal _Somnambulist_. It is the -likeness you gave me at our final interview, and represents _Amina_, in -the joyous bridal scene with _Elvino_, among her native cottagers in the -mountains. All! Sontag! I often think of thee, and my highest solace is -in gazing at thy bewitching smile, and laughing eyes, and lovely -dimples, and even teeth, and classic temples, as depicted in thy -likeness, which I shall keep while I linger in the dreary paths of -earth. And I will part with fame and fortune and with life itself, ere I -will separate from the precious picture of my adored Sontag. And my last -prayer to God shall be, that I may join my Parents and Kindred and -Sontag in the realms of eternal bliss. - - ------------------------------------ - - - - - James Gordon Bennett’s Editorial Career. - - - BENNETT’S OFFICE IN 1835. - - _Enter John Kelly._ - -_Bennett_—Well, my lad, I have borrowed a pair of old shoes for you from -my bed-fellow in Cross street. They may be rather large, but you must -contrive to wear them until Saturday, when I will get you a new pair, if -I have the money to spare. Sit down, Johnny, and try on the shoes. - -_John_ (puts them on)—They are much too large, aint they? - -_Bennett_—Well, yes, but if you put some pieces of newspaper in them, -you can lessen their size. - -_John_ (stuffs them in the heels and toes and sides with fragments of -the _Herald_ of the preceding day)—There, sir, I guess I can wear them -now, and I am truly obliged to you for borrowing them for me. - -_Bennett_—Not at all, John, for you did more than that for me yesterday, -in obtaining my papers from Mr. Anderson. - -_John_ (in hurriedly walking across the office, steps out of one of the -aged shoes, but steps in again before Bennett’s keen eyes perceived that -one foot had stepped out)—That was a great pleasure, sir, and I hope you -will have the same good luck to-day. - -_Bennett_—I sold very few papers yesterday, and I have very little -money, and Anderson has my watch, and I fear he will not let me have the -papers until I redeem it, and pay him for the _Heralds_ of to-day. - -_John_—I will do all in my power to obtain them for you. - -_Bennett_—I know you will, my dear little friend. But come—we will go -and try to get the papers. (They arrive at Anderson & Ward’s, in Ann -street. Anderson is absent, and Ward is partially drunk and asleep on -the counter, and Bennett arouses him.) - -_Ward_—What are you about? (rubbing his eyes and garrping.) What do you -want (hic) so early in the morning, you vagabonds? hic, hec, hoc. - -_Bennett_—I want my papers. - -_Ward_—You can’t (hic) have them without the money, (hoc.) - -_Bennett_—Please let me have them. - -_Ward_—Where’s your (hic) watch? - -_Bennett_—I let Mr. Anderson have it yesterday. - -_Ward_—Don’t you (hic-a-che-a-che-Horatio-darn it, how I sneeze) sell -any _Heralds_ now-a-days? a-che-a-che-a-che-Horatio—O, Jerusalem! will I -never stop sneezing? - -_Bennett_—It stormed yesterday, and I did not sell many, but it is -pleasant this morning, and I think I shall sell a large number. - -_Ward_—Well, I’ll not be (hic, hic, hic,) too hard with you, old fellow. -There, take your papers, and try hard (hic) to sell (hic) them to-day, -and (hic-a-che) bring a whole lot of money to (hic) morrow. - -_Bennett_—I will, Mr. Ward, and I’ll always remember you with gratitude -for your generosity to-day. Good day, sir. - -_Ward_—Farewell, old boy. And just shut the door alter you. I have been -(hic) on a spree all night, (hec,) and I don’t want anybody else to come -in and bother (hic) me, until I finish my nap. - -_Bennett_—I’ll lock the door outside, and put the key in the window. - -_Ward_—Do so, old (hic) boy, do so. (And he goes to sleep, and Bennett -and John wend their way to Wall street.) - -_Bennett_—Now, John, this is the last chance I shall have. If I fail to -sell my papers to-day, I am ruined for ever. - -_John_—Had I not better go into the stores, and try to sell the papers. - -_Bennett_ (kisses him in Nassau street)—My dear boy, if you will do -that, I will love you next to my God. My great trouble has been to get -honest boys to sell my paper, and return the money to me, instead of -going to the Theatre and eating peanuts with my funds. Now, you take -some, and I’ll take some, and you take one side of the street and I the -other, and let us toil for our lives (until the sun goes down) to sell -these papers, and, if we fail, my fate is sealed for time, and perhaps -for eternity! - -_John_—What! You won’t commit suicide? - -_Bennett_—God only knows what I shall do. - -_John_—Well, I see there’s no time to be lost. So, give me some papers, -and I’ll go into the first store on this side, and you take the other -side of the street. (They separate, John going into every store on his -side, and Bennett into every store on the other side, until they arrive -at Wall street, when they go into Bennett’s office, in the old rat hole -at No. 20 Wall street, where they count their pennies, and find that -they have sold quite a large number of _Heralds_. They then drink some -water and eat some ginger nuts, for their breakfasts, and go down Broad -street, and enter every store on either side, and meet with great -success. John then takes South street, and Bennett Front street, from -the Battery to Fulton street, and afterwards take Water and Pearl -streets, and then they canvass either side of Wall street, and sell all -their _Heralds_, and go to a Restaurant and get something to eat, and -separate in the afternoon in high spirits. John then got some boys in -the Fourteenth Ward to sell the _Herald_, and in ten days Bennett had -about $40 surplus, and begins to put on aristocratic airs, and domineer -over Johnny Kelly.) - - (To be continued.) - - ------------------------------------ - - - - - _For the Alligator._ - - - Wide-mouth shocking Alligator! - I wish you were a Boa Constrictor! - And crush within your awful fold, - The villains with our pilfered gold, - Who, with sanctimonious face, - Steal with such a pious grace: - They dance and dress and call it good, - Because it gives the hungry food. - But hold your mirror to their face, - And show them their sad black disgrace: - One robs the City’s golden coffers, - And then a mighty Fabric offers, - And tries to court a worldly fame, - Out of such an impious shame. - The temple thus to science rears, - That he may surely soothe his fears, - Lest his ignorance should be known, - And lack of knowledge shown, - And so the starving, suffering poor, - He drives them fainting from his door; - And tells them: (Oh! how very strange!) - The Mansion’s taken all his change! - And in his high, majestic wrath, - He kicks a female down to earth! - The mansion he will never give, - While one heir of his shall live. - See how this modern Simon Magus, - Blinds our eyes, and then deceives us. - Soon we shall see how very funny, - He’ll make his “Union” yield him money: - He finds it is so very pretty, - To have a Mayor made of putty, - That he can mould him at his will, - To make his son an office fill. - But lest Columbia prove too new, - He lays a wire the ocean through, - That he all Europe may invite, - To bask in his resplendent sight. - Oh! most happy England Queen, - When she can say: “I’ve Peter seen!” - Now see him cringe, and jump for fame, - To reach the scroll, to write his name: - But as he lives alone for fame, - My verse will sure preserve his name. - - PETER PIPER PICT. - - - - - NEW YORK, June 15, 1858. - - -STEPHEN H. BRANCH: - -SIR:—Permit me the privilege of making a few brief passing remarks, -asking a few questions, and respectfully suggesting a few hints as to -your weekly publication, the ALLIGATOR. Please to attribute any -intrusive errors in this communication as emanating from an inefficient -method of expressing my sentiments, as my heart is with you whole and -entire in spirit, and, with a few exceptions, to the very letter, in -your laudable endeavor to bring to light before the open day the hidden -villainies of the many detestable tyrants that have risen from the very -scum of poverty and criminal degradation, and who now so unaccountably -hold despotic sway _under the garb of honorable industry_ in every -branch of society, to the unjust injury and oppression of the poor, -humble, but honest man. - -I am rejoiced to find the ALLIGATOR creeping its way to the literary -tables of almost every respectable News Depot in this and the adjacent -cities, piercing its deadly fangs into the very vitals of every -influential thief and scoundrel, and that the business public are now -availing themselves of the opportunity in patronising it as an -advertising medium, and I sincerely wish you every success. - -Wherever I have an opportunity, I endeavor, indirectly, to pave the way, -to introduce the merits of the ALLIGATOR, and, as a matter of course, -have to give and take in the various opinions expressed as to the -carniverous propensities of that astonishing animal, and the choice -objects it pitches into for its daily food. The opinions and ideas -expressed on the subject are as varied as the colors in the rainbow. Any -man whose past misdeeds trouble his conscience, dreads the animal, as he -would a drawn sword, lest its brutal tusks should tear open to public -gaze what he had secretly hoped was unknown to mortal being. - -If the crawling reptiles you select to satisfy the craving appetite of -that amphibious animal (with such extended jaws continually gaping) are -really of such an abhorrent and loathsome nature as represented by you -in such bold relief, I should never cease lashing their diseased and -ulcerated carcases with whips of poisoned scorpions, till I purged and -purified their polluted system with wholesome antidotes. It strikes me -that your gormandising hydra-headed monster can never be satisfied with -common carrion: it seeks for something more nutritious for its -sustenance. It appears he is like Pharoah’s lean kine—the more he -devours, the thinner he gets, and his rapacity increases, and what seems -so singular is, that he has abundance of choice prey for ever at his -side, which he selects indiscriminately, and an untold amount laid up in -his store houses for ages to come. - -Nothing do I admire more than the free use of strong and emphatic -language to express our approbation or disapprobation of men’s actions -public or private, and from the general tenor of your style, and the -peculiar advantages you possess as a scholar, and the unlimited -information you have treasured up as a man of experience, with regard to -public characters and measures, I feel confident that you can convert -every tooth of the Alligator into a poisoned arrow that will deal death -and destruction into every particle of air whereever it wings its -flight, and you can more effectively hit your mark with surer certainty -by avoiding the use of such terms and phrases as would be looked upon by -the general class of readers, as rather coarse or vulgar; although I -myself consider your style as purely hieroglyphic, and that your -sarcastic way merely emanates from a proud, manly, straightforward, bold -and independent above board kind of a spirit than that of malice, with -the view to convey the sentiments of your mind, in order to express your -strong feeling of detestation and abhorrence of every unprincipled -scoundrel, against whom your fiery shafts of indignation may happen to -be turned, cutting to the very heart’s core like a two edged sword. - -The body of the ALLIGATOR is too small by a long shot. It would greatly -enhance its usefulness by being more liberal. Increase its pages, extend -its columns, devote a space to correspondents, and, if need be, stretch -its stomach so as to afford an opportunity to others to open their -store-houses, and contribute their quota of similar wholesome food to -the hungry cannibal, in order the better to assist in the process of -digestion. - - Yours Respectfuly, - - ANTI-TYRANT. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - Advertisements—25 Cents a line. - - -Credit—From two to four seconds, or as long as the Advertiser can hold -his breath! Letters and Advertisements to be left at No. 128 Nassau -street, third floor, back room. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -HERRING’S PATENT CHAMPION FIRE AND BURGLAR Proof Safe, with Hall’s -Patent Powder Proof Locks, afford the greatest security of any Safe in -the world. Also, Sideboard and Parlor Safes, of elegant workmanship and -finish, for plate, &c. S. C. HERRING & CO., - - 251 Broadway. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -JAMES MELENEY, (SUCCESSOR TO SAMUEL Hopper,) Grocer, and Wholesale and -Retail Dealer in Pure Country Milk. Teas, Coffee, Sugars & Spices. -Flour, Butter, Lard, Cheese, Eggs &c. No. 158, Eighth Avenue, Near 18th -Street, New York. Families supplied by leaving their address at the -Store. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -BOOT & SHOE EMPORIUMS. EDWIN A. BROOKS, Importer and Manufacturer of -Boots, Shoes & Gaiters, Wholesale and Retail, No. 575 Broadway, and 150 -Fulton Street, New York. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -DR. SMITH’S ELECTRIC OIL, CURES PAIN IN A few moments. Dr. Smith’s -Electric Oil gives almost instant relief in all nervous diseases. Acute -rheumatic pains need only a few applications. Dr. Smith may be consulted -at the Smithsonian House, and at 91 Hudson Street. Try it. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -MCSPEDON AND BAKER’S STATIONERY WAREHOUSE and Envelope Manufactory, Nos. -29, 31, and 33, Beekman Street, New York. - -ENVELOPES of all patterns, styles and quality, on hand, and made to -order for the trade and others, by Steam Machinery. Patented April 8th, -1856. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -COZZENS’ HOTEL COACHES,—STABLE, Nos. 34 and 36 Canal Street, New York. - -I will strive hard to please all those generous citizens who will kindly -favor me with their patronage. - - EDWARD VAN RANST. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -J. W. MASON, MANUFACTURER, WHOLESALE and Retail dealers in all kinds of -Chairs, Wash Stands, Settees, &c. 377 & 379 Pearl Street, New York. - -Cane and Wood Seat Chairs, in Boxes, for Shipping. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -BENJAMIN JONES, COMMISSION DEALER, IN Real Estate. Houses and stores and -lots for sale in all parts of the city. Office at the junction of -Broadway, Seventh Avenue, and Forty-Sixth Street. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -FULLMER AND WOOD CARRIAGE Manufacturers, 239 West 19th Street, New York. - -Horse-shoeing done with despatch and in the most scientific manner, and -on reasonable terms. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -W. E. KNAPP’S NEWS DEPOT, 279 BLEEKER ST., near Barrow street. -Subscriptions for Dailies, Weeklies, and Monthlies, which will be served -as soon as issued. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -CHEAP PERIODICAL AND PAMPHLET BINDERY, No. 50 Ann street, N. Y. F. S. -Pittman, successor to H. H. Randall. Mr. Gouverneur Carr and N. S. -Putnam have purchased an interest in the concern. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -AUG. BRENTANO, SMITHSONIAN NEWS DEPOT, Books and Stationery, 608 -BROADWAY, corner of Houston street. - -Subscriptions for American or Foreign Papers or Books, from the City or -Country, will be promptly attended to. - -Foreign Papers received by every steamer. Store open from 6 A. M. to 11 -P. M. throughout the week. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -P. C. GODFREY, STATIONER, BOOKSELLER, AND General News dealer, 831 -Broadway, New York, near 13th street. - - At Godfrey’s—Novels, Books, &c., all the new ones cheap. - At Godfrey’s—Magazines, Fancy Articles, &c., cheap. - At Godfrey’s—Stationery of all kinds cheap. - At Godfrey’s—All the Daily and Weekly Papers. - At Godfrey’s—Visiting Cards Printed at 75 cents per pack. - At Godfrey’s—Ladies Fashion Books of latest date. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -C. TYSON, CORNER OF NINTH STREET & SIXTH AVE. Has for sale all the late -Publications of the day, including all the Daily and Weekly Newspapers. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -SEE “JOBSON’S RED FLAG,” OF THIS DAY, FOR interesting news. Published at -No. 102 Nassau Street. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -JOHN B. WEBB, BOAT BUILDER, 718 WATER STREET. My Boats are of models and -materials unsurpassed by those of any Boat Builder in the World. Give me -a call, and if I don’t please you, I will disdain to charge you for what -does not entirely satisfy you. - - JOHN B. WEBB. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -SAMUEL SNEDEN, SHIP & STEAMBOAT BUILDER.—My Office is at No. 31 Corlears -street, New York; and my yards and residence are at Greenpoint. I have -built Ships and Steamers for every portion of the Globe, for a long term -of years, and continue to do so on reasonable terms. - - SAMUEL SNEDEN. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -ALANSON T. BRIGGS—DEALER IN FLOUR BARRELS, Molasses Casks, Water, and -all other kinds of Casks. Also, new flour barrels and half-barrels; a -large supply constantly on hand. My Stores are at Nos. 62, 63, 64, 69, -73, 75, 77 and 79 Rutger’s Slip; at 235, 237, and 239 Cherry street; -also, in South and Water streets, between Pike and Rutger’s Slip, -extending from street to street. My yards in Williamsburgh are at Furman -& Co.’s Dock. My yards in New York are at the corner of Water and -Gouverneur streets; and in Washington street, near Canal; and at Leroy -Place. My general Office is at 64 Rutger’s Slip. - - ALANSON T. BRIGGS. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -FULTON IRON WORKS.—JAMES MURPHY & CO., manufacturers of Marine and Land -Engines, Boilers, &c. Iron and Brass Castings. Foot of Cherry street, -East River. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -BRADDICK & HOGAN, SAILMAKERS, No. 272 South Street, New York. - -Awnings, Tents, and Bags made to order. - - JESSE A. BRADDICK, - RICHARD HOGAN. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -WILLIAM M. SOMERVILLE, WHOLESALE AND Retail Druggist and Apothecary, 205 -Bleeker-st., corner Minetta, opposite Cottage Place, New York. All the -popular Patent Medicines, fresh Swedish Leeches, Cupping, &c. -Physicians’ Prescriptions accurately prepared. - - WM. M. SOMERVILLE. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -A. W. & T. HUME, MERCHANT TAILORS. No. 82 Sixth Avenue, New York. We -keep a large and elegant assortment of every article that a gentleman -requires. We make Coats, Vests and Pants, after the latest Parisian -fashions, and on reasonable terms. - - A. W. & T. HUME. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -THE WASHINGTON, BY BARTLETT & GATES, No. 1 Broadway, New York. Come and -see us, good friends, and eat and drink and be merry, in the same -capacious and patriotic halls where the immortal Washington’s voice and -laugh once reverberated. - - O come to our Hotel, - And you’ll be treated well. - - BARTLETT & GATES. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -J. N. GENIN, FASHIONABLE HATTER, 214 Broadway, New York. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -GENIN’S LADIES’ & CHILDREN’S OUTFITTING Bazaar, 513 Broadway, (St. -Nicholas Hotel, N. Y.) - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -EDWARD PHALON & SON, 497 and 517 Broadway, New York—Depots for the sale -of Perfumery, and every article connected with the Toilet. - -We now introduce the “BOUQUET D’OGARITA, or Wild Flower of Mexico,” -which is superior to anything of the kind in the civilized world. - - EDWARD PHALON & SON. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -EXCELSIOR PRINTING HOUSE, 211 CENTRE ST., IS furnished with every -facility, latest improved presses, and the newest styles of type—for the -execution of Book, Job and Ornamental Printing. Call and see specimens. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -CHARLES FRANCIS, SADDLER, (ESTABLISHED IN 1808,) Sign of the Golden -Horse, 39 Bowery, New York, opposite the Theatre. Mr. F. will sell his -articles as low as any other Saddler in America, and warrant them to be -equal to any in the World. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -H. N. WILD, STEAM CANDY MANUFACTURER, No. 451 Broadway, bet. Grand and -Howard streets, New York. My Iceland Moss and Flaxseed Candy will cure -Coughs and Sneezes in a very short time. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -JAMES GRIFFITHS, (Late CHATFIELD & GRIFFITHS,) No. 273 Grand st., New -York. A large stock of well-selected Cloths, Cassimeres, Vestings, &c., -on hand. Gent’s, Youths’ and Children’s Clothing, Cut and Made in the -most approved style. All cheap for Cash. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -J. AGATE & CO., MEN’S FURNISHING GOODS and Shirt Manufacturers, 256 -Broadway, New York. - -Shirts made to order and guaranteed to fit. - -J. AGATE. F. W. TALKINGTON. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -BILLIARD TABLES.—PHELAN’S IMPROVED BILLIARD Tables and Combination -Cushions—Protected by letters patent, dated Feb. 19, 1856; Oct. 28, -1856; Dec. 8, 1857; Jan. 12, 1858. The recent improvements in these -Tables make them unsurpassed in the world. They are now offered to the -scientific Billiard players as combining speed with truth, never before -obtained in any Billiard Table. Sales-rooms Nos. 786 and 788 Broadway, -New York. Manufactory No. 53 Ann Street. - - O’CONNOR & COLLENDOR, Sole Manufacturers. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -S. L. OLMSTEAD, IMPORTER, MANUFACTURER and Jobber of Men’s Furnishing -Goods, No. 24 Barclay Street, corner of Church, New York. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -C. B. HATCH, HILLER & MERSEREAU, Importers and Jobbers of Men’s -Furnishing Goods and Manufacturers of the Golden Hill Shirts. 99 -Chambers Street, N. E. corner Church Street, New York. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -L. A. ROSENMILLER, DRUGGIST, NO. 172 EIGHTH Avenue, New York. Cupping & -Leeching. Medicines at all hours. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Stephen H. Branch's Alligator Vol. 1 -no. 10, June 26, 1858, by Stephen H. 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