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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text @@ -0,0 +1,12376 @@ +*Project Gutenberg's Etext of Volume 12 of Brann The Iconoclast* +#3 in our series by William Cowper Brann +Of the 12 volumes, we are currently doing 1, 10, and 12. + + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. 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If you + don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are + payable to "Project Gutenberg Association / Illinois + Benedictine College" within the 60 days following each + date you prepare (or were legally required to prepare) + your annual (or equivalent periodic) tax return. + +WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? +The Project gratefully accepts contributions in money, time, +scanning machines, OCR software, public domain etexts, royalty +free copyright licenses, and every other sort of contribution +you can think of. Money should be paid to "Project Gutenberg +Association / Illinois Benedictine College". + +*END*THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + +Scanned by Charles Keller with +OmniPage Professional OCR software +donated by Caere Corporation, 1-800-535-7226. +Contact Mike Lough <Mikel@caere.com> + + + + + +THE COMPLETE WORKS OF BRANN THE ICONOCLAST + +VOLUME XII + + + +CONTENTS + +A CHAPTER WRITTEN IN THE LIFE BLOOD OF W. C. BRANN AND + THOS. E. DAVIS +OTHER STATEMENTS +BRANN'S DEATH +DAVIS FOLLOWS BRANN +W. H. WARD +THE OBSEQUIES +THE LATEST TRAGEDY +BRANN AND BAYLOR +TERRIFIC DEADLY CONFLICT +THE LATE TRAGEDY +THE PASSING OF WILLIAM COWPER BRANN +REST--REST IN PEACE +A MEMORIAL TO W. C. BRANN +DEATH OF W. C. BRANN +A PEN PICTURE OF BRANN +SEMPER VIVATIM MEMORIAM +BRANN'S BRAVE BATTLE +BRANN IS NO MORE +BRAVE AND BRAINY BRANN +BRANN, OF THE ICONOCLAST +A MARTYR TO FREE SPEECH +EDITORIAL ETCHINGS +SIMPLE STATEMENT OF FACTS +LET THE PLAIN TRUTH BE TOLD +THE LAST LESSON +SALMAGUNDI +THE DEATH OF BRANN +PRIVATE VENGEANCE +BRANN, THE FOOL +WILLIAM COWPER BRANN +SPEAKING OF GALL +BLUE AND GRAY +HUMBUGS AND HUMBUGGERY +BEAUTY AND THE BEAST +BRANN'S REPLY TO SLATTERY +THE LOCAL OPTION LUNACY +OLD GLORY +THE LONE STAR +SLAVE OR SOVEREIGN +RAINBOW CHASERS + + +Extracts from The Waco "Weekly Tribune," Issue of +Saturday, April 2, 1898. + +A CHAPTER WRITTEN IN THE LIFE +BLOOD OF W. C. BRANN AND +THOS. E. DAVIS. + +THE STREET DUEL TO THE DEATH +IN WACO STREETS. +THERE ARE TWO MORE WIDOWS +AND EIGHT MORE ORPHANS. + + The Full Recital of the Double Tragedy, the Deaths, the + Burials and Subsequent Events--Will This End It? + In God's Name Let Us Hope It Will. + +Died--At 1.55 o'clock A.M., April 2nd, W. C. BRANN. +Died--At 2.30 o'clock P.M., T. E. DAVIS. + + +Friday afternoon, November 19, 1897, marked a +street duel and tragedy in which two men were killed, +one lost an arm, and an innocent by-stander was injured. +Friday afternoon, April 1st, 1898, within an hour of +the time of the first tragedy, and within a half block of +the locality of the other, W. C. Brann and Tom E. +Davis engaged in a street duel in which each of them was +mortally wounded, and three others received slight +wounds. Four fatalities within five months of each other +are bloody records in the history of the city of Waco, +all of which can be traced to the same source, all of which +were born of the same cause. The publication last +year in the ICONOCLAST and the incidents following the +publication are well known. They have been published +far and wide, the kidnaping of Brann, the assault upon +him by the Scarboroughs, the Gerald-Harris affair, and +the hurried departure of Brann on one occasion. During +all these incidents Tom E. Davis was an outspoken citizen +of Waco. He denounced the author of the ICONOCLAST +articles and said he should be run out of town +and had continued throughout it all to condemn the +"Apostle." This caused bad blood between them, and +although Davis had remained in the city all the time, +and Brann had been on the street constantly, there had +been no outbreak or conflict. Each knew the feeling of +the other in the matter. Such are incidents preceding +the shooting and leading up to it. + +. . . + + +To trace the movements of the two men during Friday +afternoon appears easy at first, but as the investigator +proceeds in his search for information he meets conflicting +statements. Tom Davis left his office on South +Fourth Street, No. 111, about 5 o'clock or a few +minutes later. Brann, accompanied by W. H. Ward, his +business manager, is alleged to have been standing at +the corner of Fourth and Franklin Streets as Davis +passed to the postoffice corner, en route to the transfer +stables. In his ante mortem statement Davis says that +he heard Brann remark, "There is the s----of a b---- +who caused my trouble." Davis didn't stop or resent the +insult, but passed on. Soon after he called on James I. +Moore at his office in the Pacific Hotel building and +together they were discussing the city campaign. According +to Mr. Moore's statement, he was standing with his +back to the south facing the door and was looking toward +Austin Avenue. Davis was facing him, his back to the +avenue, and in a position which prevented him seeing +anyone approaching from Austin Avenue. Brann and +his companion approached coming south, and as they +passed, Mr. Moore says, Brann halted, looked him +squarely in the face and passed on. Davis did not see +the editor and his manager, as he chanced to turn +just as they came up and as it happened he kept his back +to the "Apostle" and his companion. From Mr. Moore's +office, Davis passed into the Pacific Hotel bar and thence +to his office. Brann and Ward soon after returned to +the Pacific; there they met Joe Earp of Laco, from the +western part of the county, and the three walked together +to Geo. Laneri's saloon. Brann and Ward passed into +the saloon, Earp remaining on the outside. They passed +out within a short time and passed down Fourth Street to +the Cotton Belt ticket office. Thence on to the newsstand +of Jake French, and while there the shooting occurred. + +. . . + + +As to the shooting there are conflicting statements. +As in every tragedy eye-witnesses differ and citizens of +equal reputation for veracity and conservatism tell +different stories. They are all honest in what they say, +they all believe they saw what they relate, but the +conflict in statements is yet there. + +Messrs. W. W. Dugger, Joe Earp, M. C. Insley and +S. S. Hall agree as to the first shot. They say it was +fired by T. E. Davis at W. C. Brann, when Brann's back +was turned. Others say Ward participated in the shooting, +while numbers say that Ward did not. Here a conflict +occurs. At any rate, the first shot was fired by +Davis, and it was immediately returned by Brann. Ward +got between the two and in the firing he was shot in the +right hand. Davis fell at the first shot from Brann's +pistol and writhed in agony. He soon recovered presence +of mind and raising himself upon his elbow returned +the fire, Brann standing off shooting into the prostrate +form, while Davis with unsteady aim was returning the +fire. Every bullet from the "Apostle's" pistol found +lodgment in the form of the duelist engaged with him. +All was excitement. It was an hour, 6 P.M., when South +Fourth Street was crowded, and the rapid report of the +pistols caused a stampede of pedestrians, each of which +feared contact with a stray bullet. In it all there was +one who displayed his devotion to duty, his bravery and +coolness--Police Officer Sam S. Hall. Mr. Hall was +standing near the insurance office of George Willig, not +forty feet away. He turned at the first report, and +seeing the duel in progress, bravely made his way toward +the men. Brann was shooting from the north, and it +was toward the north the officer started. Davis was +facing north. At each fire of the gun Officer Hall would +screen himself in a doorway, dart out and rush to the +next, gradually nearing them. Officer Dave Durie was +across the street, and he started also, but Officer Hall +reached them first, but too late. Each man had finished +shooting, Davis had fallen back upon the pavement and +his pistol rolled from his hand. Brann was standing, +pistol in hand, its six chambers empty, looking upon the +lengthened form of his antagonist. He had not spoken. +Wounded in three places, blood was soiling his linen and +his clothes. He was yet upon his feet, and Officer Hall, +not knowing how serious were his wounds, started with +him to the city hall, being joined almost immediately +by Officer Durie. + +Davis was wounded in many places. Bullets had +plowed their way through flesh and bone, and unable +himself to move, blood flowing freely from various wounds, +his friends lifted him tenderly and gave him comfort as +best they could, surgeons responding quickly to the call. + +Ward had been in the midst of the fray, but received +but one wound, in the hand. He was between the two +men at one time and then sought safety against the wall. +When the smoke cleared away he went to the Old Corner +drug store to have his hand dressed. Here he was arrested +later by Deputy-Sheriff James Lockwood. + +During the shooting Eugene Kempner, a musician of +Kansas City, was struck in the sole of the right foot by +a stray bullet, and a street car motorman, Kennedy by +name, was struck in the left leg by a bullet. Neither of +these injuries are serious. + +While in the news stand, Mr. Davis became conscious +of approaching dissolution and desired to make an ante +mortem statement. Assistant County Attorney Sluder +was present, and County Clerk Joney Jones, and to them +he gave the following version of the affair: + +DAVIS STATEMENT. + +"I left my office and started to Manchester's livery +stable. At the corner of Franklin and Fourth Streets +passed Brann and Ward. Brann remarked, there goes +the damn s---- of a b---- that has caused all my trouble. +Passed on and went to Manchester's stable on some +business, then came back to Waite's saloon and stopped for a +drink. I then started for my office, but near Haber's +store on Bankers' Alley I met them again. They began +to curse and abuse me again. + +"Went on to the office; they followed me and I went +to the urinal in the rear, then came to the front of the +office. At the door Brann said, 'There comes the dirty +cur and s---- of a b----; he will take anything.' Brann +then pulled his gun and I shot at him; my gun hung in +the scabbard. The reason he shot me was because I was +loyal to my town and always expressed myself. He murdered +me. They both shot me after I fell. They shot +in my back, blinded me and I could not see. I make +this statement, for I know I am dying. He has been +trying to kill me for three months." + + +* * * +OTHER STATEMENTS. + +EYE-WITNESSES GIVE SOMEWHAT CONFLICTING ACCOUNTS. + +Joe Earp, a young fellow from the western part of the +county, who was in town that day, said: + +"I met Mr. Brann in front of the Pacific Hotel, and +having heard of him and read after him, I was curious +to know him. It was our first meeting; in fact, the first +time I had ever seen him. We talked together, Mr. +Ward with us, to Laneri's saloon. They went inside and +I left them. In a few minutes they came out and crossed +the street, going to the Cotton Belt ticket office. They +moved together towards Austin Avenue, but half turned, +conversing one with the other. They reached the newsstand +and stopped. I saw a man whom I have been told +was Tom E. Davis, come out a door and shoot. Brann's +back was turned to the man, and while I did not see the +bullet strike him, I supposed he was shooting at Brann. +Ward turned as soon as the shot was fired and reached +for the pistol. Brann turned instantly, gun in hand, +and commenced shooting. Ward got in between the two +and then jumped away, against the wall. Davis fell at +Brann's first fire and rolled over a time or two, and +raising himself on his elbow, returned Brann's fire. They +emptied their pistols. When Davis fell Brann stepped +back a short distance and then advanced toward Davis, +shooting at him, but he never approached nearer than six +feet. Ward never fired a shot. I saw the whole affair and never +did he fire or produce a pistol. When the +shooting was over a man came out of the office and took +Davis' pistol from the walk." + +J. C. Patterson was seen. He stated: + +"I was with R. H. Brown of Calvert. We walked +into the street from the Pacific Hotel sidewalk, and were +walking north when we heard a shot. Three shots were +fired quickly and I saw Davis fall. I remarked, 'They +have killed Tom Davis.' I saw two men shooting, or +Brann had two pistols. Davis raised on his elbow and +returned the fire. I did not see the first shot." + +Sherman Vaughan said: + +"I was passing along Fourth Street and reached a +spot just in front of Geo. Laneri's saloon. I heard a shot, +and looking toward the place from whence the sound +came, I saw Tom Davis reeling backward toward the wall +in front of his place of business. He either fell against +the sign in front of his office or the wall, I could not tell +which. Mr. Brann was standing some eight or ten feet +from him with a pistol in his hand and smoke was between +them. Then followed a rapid succession of shots. +I could not see Mr. Davis shoot for the smoke, but could +see Mr. Brann plainly. Mr. Davis fell to the sidewalk +and then almost rose to his feet and fell again. He then +rolled along the sidewalk towards the alley and must +have turned over half a dozen times. Then another man, +whom I do not know, joined in, and he and Brann fired +shot after shot at Mr. Davis as he rolled along the +sidewalk. The police then came up and took Brann away. +I did not see what became of the other man." + +Mr. James I. Moore said: + +"I had met Tom Davis in front of my office in the +Pacific Hotel building, and we discussed the proposed +meeting at the city hall. He and I walked out on the +sidewalk just in front of my office. I stood at the south +side of the door facing north and Mr. Davis stood directly +in front of me on the sidewalk by the wall. We were +about two feet apart. While talking, W. C. Brann came +down the sidewalk from the direction of Austin Street. +He advanced within two feet of Mr. Davis and myself and +stopped; looked me squarely in the face and then at Mr. +Davis. I did not speak to Brann and don't think Davis +saw him until after he passed on. Brann passed on in +the direction of the postoffice. Almost immediately after +Brann left, Davis left me and walked up Fourth Street +towards his office, and I saw him cross the street to his +office. I then advanced to the edge of the sidewalk and +stood there alone about four or five minutes, when I +heard a shot in the direction of Davis' office. I looked +that way and three shots seemed to be fired almost +simultaneously. Davis fell to the sidewalk and writhed as +if in terrible agony. Brann seemed to be nearest to +Davis, a very large man being close in Brann's rear. +This man, I learned afterwards, was W. H. Ward. While +Davis was rolling on the sidewalk both of these men were +very rapidly firing upon Davis. They seemed to poke +their pistols almost against Davis' body as they fired. +After the first four or five shots the smoke became too +dense to see all that occurred. The first sight seemed to +chill my blood and I became too horrified to move." + +H. C. Chase, 509 North Ninth Street: + +"I was standing at the alley near Geo. Laneri's saloon +and heard somebody say, 'Look out!' I glanced across +the street and saw Tom Davis on the sidewalk. He had a +gun in his hand and fired at once. Brann and Ward +were a few feet distant. Brann had turned slightly, +but his back was still towards Davis when the latter fired. +Ward jumped back and grabbed at Davis' gun as the +latter fired the second time. Brann fired as soon as he +turned around and at his second shot Davis fell backwards. +Ward, it seemed to me, had gotten to one side of +Davis and was reaching for Davis' gun. As the latter +fell back, Ward backed up to the building. He did not +have a gun and did not shoot." + +M. C. Insley, shipping clerk for Brann: + +"I was standing in the doorway of Sam French's +cigar store as Brann and Ward reached it. They had +just passed the doorway, going toward Austin Street, +when Davis appeared with a gun in his hand. He fired +at once. I could not see Brann at this time. Davis +fired the first shot and immediately I heard another shot, +I suppose from Brann, and almost simultaneously a second +shot from Davis. As the latter fired the first shot Ward +jumped and grabbed the muzzle of Davis' gun. He let +go as the shot was fired. He did not have a gun. I +backed away from the door. The shooting was thick and +fast. Davis fell back at the door of French's as Brann +fired the last shot and his gun dropped from his grasp. +John Williams, who appeared quickly, grabbed it, and +screening himself with the door-facing of the cigar store, +tried twice to shoot it and then somebody grabbed him." + + +W. W. Dugger, employed in the feed store of J. P. +Nichols, on North Second Street, said: + +"I was talking with Policeman Sam Hall at the alley +next to the Cotton Belt ticket office when the first shot +was fired. We were close to the scene. I glanced +instantly in that direction and saw Tom Davis with a +smoking pistol in his hand. At the same time I saw +Brann turn around and face Davis, from whom he appeared +to be distant about fifteen feet, I should judge. +He fired and fired again almost at the same time. In the +meantime, the man with Brann, whom I learned afterward +was Ward, had rushed up and caught Davis and it +seemed as if he struggled with him a moment. When +Brann fired a second shot, Davis fell. Ward had turned +him loose at this time. Davis rolled over and over on +the sidewalk and fired, I think, two shots while he was +down. While he was rolling over, Brann kept shooting at +him as fast as he could work the trigger. Mr. Ward did +not fire a shot. I saw the whole affair and know that +he did not and he did not exhibit a weapon of any kind. +He slipped back close to the building when he let go of +Davis, and when the shooting was over walked up the +street. I saw a man come out of Williams' place and +make an effort to get Davis' pistol. I can't say whether +or not he got it. I don't know where he went. Policeman +had reached the scene and arrested Brann." + +Policeman Sam Hall said: + +"I was standing in front of George Willig's office at +the alley and Fourth Street on the same side of the street +and say forty or forty-five feet away from the place +where the shooting took place. I was talking to Mr. +Dugger and was standing out on the sidewalk. Some +four or five minutes before the shooting occurred I looked +across the street and saw Brann and Ward standing in +front of the haberdasher store of L. Krauss, and at that +time Davis passed them and went on a couple of doors +and stepped inside of the storeroom at that point. I +then looked away, not having any idea at all of any +trouble, but just happened to see them. The next thing +I noticed was the men were close together in front of +French's newsstand with Davis between me and Brann +and Ward. The first of the trouble I saw Davis had his +pistol in his hand and instantly fired. Brann whirled and +commenced firing at Davis. I immediately started to +them, but had to work my way in and out of one door to +the other and work my way along the wall of the building, +as Brann was shooting directly toward me all the +time. I hallooed several times at them to stop shooting, +and just before I reached them Davis fell on the sidewalk +and Brann was still shooting. Davis attempted to +rise and Ward caught Davis by the shoulders and pulled +him back down on the sidewalk. Davis turned with his +face towards Brann and kept trying to fire, but his pistol +snapped. I jumped over Davis and caught Brann and +took the pistol out of his hands. Brann's pistol is a +Colts .41, latest improved, and was loaded all around +and all chambers were freshly fired. When I caught +Brann, Ward was standing up by the wall holding his +hand that was shot. I saw Ward fire no shots and I saw +no pistol in his hand. I then started with Brann to the +city hall, and as I crossed the street towards the Citizens +National Bank, Police Officer Durie came up and assisted +me in taking Brann on to the city hall." + + +* * * +BRANN'S DEATH. + +IT CAME AS PEACEFULLY AS SLEEP TO A BABE. + +After being taken to the city hall, Mr. Brann was +removed to his home, where Drs. Foscue, Hale, Graves and +C. E. Smith attended him. Soon after arriving there he +appeared to have reacted from the shock and there was +every indication of an improvement. At 11 o'clock there +was a change, hemorrhage of the lungs occurring +frequently. In addition to the immediate family circle a +number of devoted friends (and no man ever had more devoted +friends than Brann) were at the home, anxious to render +the offices of friendship. At midnight the physicians +said there was no chance and the family gathered about +the bedside. During the long minutes which followed, a +loving wife and two children sat by that bedside and +watched the unconscious man. His life hung by a thread +and while surgeon's science was being used to strengthen +the strand that held the life, Death's knife was on it. +They watched by his side, and as they watched they saw +him seek sweet repose. The anguish of the wife and +those children was terrible, but they awaited the visitation +to that happy home, kind friends being near to speak +sweet words of comfort. At 1.55 A.M. he died. His +features showed no pain, and when life left his body, the +face appeared as that of one in a sweet, peaceful sleep. + +The remains of W. C. Brann were prepared early +Saturday morning and lay in state all day at the residence +on North Fifth Street. Hundreds of ladies visited the +home and viewed the face of the Apostle. It was natural +as life itself. He lay upon a catafalque in the parlors +at home and the visitors passed around the lifeless form, +looked upon the face and passed out. + +Surviving Mr. Brann are his wife and two children, +Grace, aged 11 years, and Willie, a son, aged 6 years. +Brann himself was 44 years old. + +Mr. Brann came to Texas about twelve years ago and +has been engaged in the newspaper business ever since. +He was connected in an editorial capacity with the Galveston +News, Houston Post, San Antonio Express and +Waco Daily News. In 1890, during the Hogg-Clark +campaign, he established the ICONOCLAST in Austin, Texas, +and made a fight for Hogg, making his first appearance +in the character which has made him famous. The paper +suspended publication and Mr. Brann accepted a position +on the San Antonio Express, which he held until the +latter part of 1894. He came to Waco in 1895 and began +editorial writing on the Waco Daily News. He decided +to reestablish the ICONOCLAST and it has been a great +success, reaching a phenomenal circulation, having readers +all over this country. The tragedy of Friday can +be traced to the attack which was made on Baylor +University in the ICONOCLAST. It was in Brann's peculiar +style, and attracted considerable attention throughout +the country. Mr. Brann is a native of Southern Illinois. + + +* * * +DAVIS FOLLOWS BRANN. + +THE DEATH STRUGGLE AND KINDRED INCIDENTS. + +While breaking hearts watched by Mr. Brann's bedside +there was a loving wife, a dutiful son and kind friends +sitting by the bedside of Tom E. Davis. For the first +six hours Dr. J. C. J. King, Dr. Curtis and Dr. Olive +endeavored to bring their patient about. He was +perfectly conscious, but was yet suffering from the shock. +At midnight he was no better and a change for the +worse was soon noted. The patient would awake from +the effect of opiates, talk with those about him and then +relapse again into slumber. He knew his son and wife, +friends who called and friends who spoke to him, but there +was rapid pulse and a labored breathing that indicated +the approach of death. Throughout the small hours of +the new-born day the wife sat by that couch, and with her +sat kind friends. Everything known to science was done +to save the life that fleeting breath told was fast ebbing +away. There was not a continued loss of blood, but +with a perforated frame, the creature of nature could +not exist, and it was evident he was fast nearing the end. +The dawn of early morning found the faithful watchers +yet at the bedside, and the rising sun peeped into the room +and shed a glow about the sick room, appearing to light +the way for the soul which was soon to wing its flight +to realms beyond. The circle about the couch enlarged, +children of the wounded man gathering about their weeping +mother, his sister and other relatives coming to watch +and wait. During the early hours of the morning and +until the forenoon was advanced, friends paced the lobby +of the Pacific hoping every moment for a report that the +patient was better. Each minute passed as an hour, and +the hours seemed as long drawn out days. Each report +from the sick room was "no change." + +At noon it became evident that but a short time +remained. A. C. Riddle sat upon one side of the couch +and Richard Selman at the other, the first rubbing the +injured portion of the wounded right arm, while the other +moistened the parched lips with constant applications of +cold water. By Mr. Riddle sat the weeping wife, soon +to be a widow, and about the apartment were gathered +the children. The last hour of the citizen was one which +will never be forgotten by those who watched his last +moments. Labored was the breathing and every breath +was a gasp and a groan. His children stood by the couch +and saw the pain-racked form, and his wife held his hand +and prayed to the God of all people to spare him to her +for a longer time. Prayers were of no avail and tears +did not soothe the pain. He was in agony, and +accompanied with that agony was a desire to say something. +He relapsed into slumber at times and would at intervals +awake. His eyes would roll about the gathered friends +and relatives, and an unintelligible sound would escape. +There seemed to be no control of the tongue except at +times he could utter the words, "Wife" and "Molly." +The silence in the sick room was disturbed by the gasp +of the dying man and the weeping of his family. + +The hour of 2 o'clock came and the breath was shorter +and harder. Little Nellie, 2 years of age, was brought +to the bedside, and looking at her father in childish +innocence smiled, and cried, "Mama, is that my papa?" +Did papa hear those words? It is to be hoped he did. +They rung out loud within the quiet room, the walls caught +them and echoed the music of the child's voice, and +probably that music joined the music of the great beyond, +where the soul was soon to be. If the ear of the dying +man, who gave every indication of consciousness, caught +the words of his baby, his death was made happy, even with +the pain that racked his wounded form. He saw the +anguish of the wife and children, it was to comfort them +with a last word that he sought to speak the last word +that he could not utter. At 2.20 it was seen that death +was upon him, and the rapid gasp for breath plunged the +entire family into violent weeping. Mrs. Davis had +controlled herself as best she could. The long hours were +spent in a labored effort to hold back the anguish of her +bleeding heart, but when she saw her husband in the last +moments of death she could control herself no longer. +Death came at 2.30 o'clock. + +The dissolution of Tom E. Davis was known upon the +streets within a few minutes and the regret of the people +was freely expressed. + +Tom E. Davis was 42 years of age. He was born +in Waco and was the son of Judge James F. Davis, a +pioneer settler of Waco. Tribune readers who have lived +here twenty years or more will remember Judge Davis. +From 1876 to 1878 he was one of the two justices of the +peace in Waco. He has followed the life of a railroad +man for many years, but finally gave it up to locate in +his native city. He has been engaged in the real estate +business recently. He was well thought of in this city, +had many friends, was a man of genial, jovial nature, +and was a good citizen. His death is mourned by a large +number. Surviving him is his wife and six children, +James F., Flossie, Mattie, Lillian, Margery and Nellie, +the eldest being sixteen and the youngest two years old. +In addition to those mentioned, who were at the death- +bed, was his sister, Mrs. Margaret Allen. + +Saturday afternoon Drs. J. C. J. King, Frank Ross, +A. M. Curtis and N. A. Olive made an examination of +the wounds of T. E. Davis. Justice W. H. Davis had, +viewed the body and the examination was made at the +request of Sheriff John W. Baker. They could trace +four bullets as having struck Mr. Davis. While there +were a number of wounds, the surgeons found that the +same bullet made more than one or two holes. Two were +found to have struck in the left shoulder about the same +place. One of these came out at the back and the other +passed around the chest wall and lodged near the spine +near the waist. One went externally in the chest and +came out of the arm-pit, and another made a flesh wound +in the arm. + +W. H. WARD. + +HIS WOUNDS--ARRESTED AND HELD. + +W. H. Ward, business manager for Brann's lecture tour, +and an intimate friend of the Apostle, was arrested +Friday night, as stated above. Baker & Ross, and Charles +R. Sparks were retained as his attorneys and he was +arraigned before Justice W. H. Davis at once, on a +charge of assault with intent to murder. Mr. Sparks +appeared in court and waived all formalities and the +question of the amount of the bond was discussed. Mr. +Sparks suggested $4,000 and this was agreed upon and +fixed by the justice. Mr. Waller S. Baker was out of the +city at the time, and after presenting a certified check +for the amount of the bond, Mr. Sparks decided to await +Mr. Baker's return before acting in the matter. When +Mr. Baker arrived at 10.30 o'clock there was some talk +on the streets of a mob, and it was decided that Ward +would be safer in jail awaiting developments. When Mr. +Davis died Deputy Constable Cliff Torrence went before +Justice Davis and made complaint charging murder. + +Mr. Ward had come down town Friday to meet his +brother whom he was expecting to arrive from Tyler. He +joined Mr. Brann on the street, and while they were +together the tragedy occurred. + +Mr. Ward was at Mr. Brann's burial Sunday afternoon +accompanied by Mr. Baker. His wounded hand +was bandaged and in a sling. At the jail he had been +called on by many friends and telegrams from various: +points, proffering aid and sympathy, came to him. Ward +was greatly moved by the death of Brann. He did not +talk much of the tragedy, but to a Tribune reporter, +who went to the jail Sunday to see him, Ward said: + +"I do not at this time care to discuss the details. I +wish, however, to deny the statement that I participated +in the shooting or had a pistol. I did not expect a +difficulty and the first shot startled me as a thunder-clap +in a clear sky. I turned to Davis with pistol drawn and +grasped the muzzle of the weapon and was shot in the +hand. I regret the death of my friend, but cannot discuss +the details of the tragedy." + +Messrs. Waller S. Baker and Charles R. Sparks state +that after the shooting they went to Mr. Brann's +residence and in the presence of outside witnesses found +Ward's pistol. It was loaded all round and showed no +indication of having been discharged. + +Mr. Ward had been associated with Brann for some +time. They were co-workers on the Waco News and +when the Apostle began lecturing Ward became his +manager. They had been firm friends and when Ward was +in the city he made his home with Mr. Brann, and the +two were always together. Ward is well liked by those +who know him and he has a number of friends throughout +the country. He is a man of fine physique, is a dignified, +courteous gentleman. + +While there was for a short time talk of a mob Friday +night, Sheriff Baker believed that cool judgment would +prevail and that nothing would be attempted. He was +prepared, however, to protect his prisoner, had trouble +been precipitated, and a number of citizens volunteered +their assistance had danger threatened. + + +THE OBSEQUIES. + +BRANN AND DAVIS LAID TO REST SUNDAY. + +Beneath two mounds, each banked with flowers, one in +Oakwood, the other in First Street Cemetery, were laid +the victims of Friday's tragedy Sunday afternoon. Never +were two funerals in this city more largely attended, and +never was the dead followed to a last resting place by +sorrowing friends with the reverence that was shown +yesterday. At each home, the Davis residence in the Fifth +Ward, and the Brann residence on North Fifth Street, +friends began to gather shortly after noon, and they +crowded through the two homes, on the lawn of one and +about the yard of the other. Each man had his friends, +and each had hosts of them, and they desired to show +by their attendance at this last service their devotion to +those friends who were now gone to the great beyond. +Each procession was a long one, the Davis cortege moved +from the home on Dallas Street to Elm, thence west on +Elm to the suspension bridge. When the hearse, which +was preceded by vehicles covering three blocks, containing +Knights of the Maccabees, turned into Elm Street, vehicles +were yet falling in line at the home, the procession +extending more than a dozen blocks in length. All +classes and conditions of men were in the line, from the +lowest to the highest, citizens of Waco joining in the +respect to the citizen whose tragic death was known. He +was well liked, and being liked, they sorrowfully joined +in this tribute to his memory. There were services at +the home, conducted by Rev. Austin Crouch, of East Waco +Baptist Church. Dr. Nelms was to participate, but a +sudden illness prevented him being present. The service +commenced by the singing by the choir of Some Sweet +Day. Those composing the choir were Messrs. W. T. +Millman, W. E. Brittain, W. R. Covington, J. S. +Henderson, Mrs. McDonald and Misses Josie Davis, Nannie +Huff and Shirley Faulkner, all of the East Waco +Baptist Church. + +After the reading of the 23rd Psalm by Rev. Austin +Crouch, followed by the singing of Nearer My God to +Thee by the choir, Mr. Crouch began a short talk, which +went deep into the hearts of his hearers and was a beautiful +tribute to the noble characteristics of the deceased. + +He began by quoting the poem, The Hour of Death, by +Mrs. Hemans, to illustrate the thought that man cannot +reckon upon the hour of the coming of death. + +He drew attention to the fact that "it was said of +Moses that he died when his eye was not dim nor his +natural strength abated." He said it had been thus +with the deceased, he having been taken from life in the +prime of manhood, aged 42. He referred to him as a +loving husband and devoted father, and possessing the +love of a host of friends, as the vast concourse assembled +about his bier testified. + +Mr. Crouch then referred with words full of +tenderness and pathos to the wife and six children whom the +husband and father had left when taken from life, and +in this connection quoted from Tennyson's In Memoriam, +the lines: + + "I hold it true whate'er befalls; + I feel it when I sorrow most; + 'Tis better to have loved and lost + Than never to have loved at all." + + +Touching upon the characteristics of the deceased, Mr. +Crouch eulogized his devotion to his family, his loyalty +to his friends and his willingness always to sacrifice +anything to them. He said of him that he was a good +citizen, who for the last several years had devoted much of +time and talents to upholding all the virtues of good +citizenship, adding that it was not often that one met a man +nowadays who could be called a good citizen. + +Mr. Crouch closed a talk that was well chosen and +effectively delivered by warning his hearers that they +were but mortal and to be prepared for the hour of +death. With his final words he commended the loved +ones of the deceased to the mercy and care of Almighty +God. + +The song, The Unclouded Day, closed the services at +the house. + +When the procession reached the cemetery impressive +services, according to the ritual of the order, were +conducted by Commander Ben Richards of Artesian Tent, +Knights of the Maccabees, a final prayer was offered by +Rev. Crouch and the body of Tom Davis was lowered to +rest. The floral tributes were beautiful. Friends brought +cut flowers and evergreens, and two large designs especially +were noticed. One was a large wreath of red and white +flowers, twined with crepe, the red, white and black being +the colors of the Maccabees. This was sent by Artesian +Tent No. 6, of which the deceased was a member. The +other was a large anchor, fully four feet in length +composed of yellow roses and white carnations. It was a +huge piece, beautifully made, and testified the friendship +of him who sent it, Mr. Connor. The pallbearers were +Judge W. H. Jenkins, J. E. Boynton, T. B. Williams, +J. N. Harris, A. C. Riddle, J. K. Rose, J. H. Gouldy, +W. H. Deaton, Robt. Wright, S. F. Kirksey, Major A. +Symes and James I. Moore. + +. . . + +The funeral of W. C. Brann did not move promptly on +the hour. It had been fixed for 3 P.M., but there was some +delay. During the moments just preceding the funeral +services Mrs. Brann went upon the lawn herself, +accompanied by a friend, and she directed the cutting of +certain buds and roses which had been favorites of her +departed husband, and when the services were held in +the parlor she placed this collection of cut flowers upon +the head of the casket. The entire place was crowded +with sympathetic friends, and by her side were Mr. Brann's +sister and her husband, who came to Waco to attend the +funeral, being summoned from their Fort Worth home. +A brass quartette, composed of L. N. Griffin, first cornet; +J. C. Arratt, second cornet; H. C. Collier, trombone; +Fred Podgen, baritone horn, rendered sweet sacred music, +one selection being Nearer My God to Thee. Mrs. Tekla +Weslow Kempner sung Mr. Brann's favorite selection, +The Bridge. The service was conducted by Rev. Frank +Page of the Episcopal Church. + +The procession was a very long one. It extended all +along Fifth Street from the house, and when Austin +Avenue was reached a large number dropped out of the +line, as was done in the Ross, Coke and Harris funerals, +and proceeded to Oakwood by other streets. A brass +band preceded the procession, playing martial music. +The street was lined with pedestrians and vehicles, some of +whom stood for thirty minutes waiting for the cortege. +The delay was occasioned, however, at the home. Soon +after the services were concluded, Mrs. Brann requested +that the casket be opened again, and her request was +complied with. For a few minutes she was alone with +her dead, and in that few minutes she gazed for the last +time upon her companion, her loved one and her husband. +When the procession reached the cemetery it was found +that a large number had preceded the cortege to the +grave, many vehicles and persons on foot being in waiting. A +large number went on the cars, three cars leaving the home. + +The services at the grave consisted of an address by +Mr. J. D. Shaw, friend of the deceased. He said: + +"My friends and friends of W. C. Brann: I come this +evening at the request of Mr. Brann's family to lay +tribute upon his grave. I speak as a friend living for a +friend dead. No ordinary man has fallen in the person +of W. C. Brann. Nature fashioned him to be a power +among his fellow men. By industry, by hard study, by +careful observation, by diligent research, by interminable +effort, he rose from comparative obscurity to teach and +impress the civilized world. In the person of W. C. +Brann we have an illustration of what may be expected +in a country like ours. He was a natural product of our +American democracy. He was a star that rose by dint +of his own effort, his own determination, surrounded by +circumstances that invited merit from the common people, +from the whole people. W. C. Brann was a cosmopolitan +character. He could never be confined within the +limits of a party or a creed. So great was his grasp, +so far-reaching his thought, that he lived in the world +and not in a mere party. He was found always with +that party or with that sect that represented what he +thought to be right and true. A peculiarity of this man +was his dual personality. Few people fully understood +him in this respect. As a bold genius, as an intellectual +giant, as a man armed and equipped with intellectual +fire, and as a man with a noble ambition to stand by +the right, he was a sworn foe of hypocrisy and fraud. +And when he took into his brave hands the pen, he made +fraud and hypocrisy quake and tremble. Burning words +came from his tongue, scorching and branding every fraud. +Men looked upon him then as a hard man, as a heartless +man because he told them the truth. But the other side +of this man's individuality, I, for one, have had the +opportunity to see. He could not only sow intellectually; +he was not only able to entertain the civilized world with +burning words, with thoughts that were winged and that +went like lightning, but he was a man of heart and of +honor, and a man of the warmest and most generous +love. He could go towards the skies intellectually, but +in his heart he lived close to nature. He loved nature. +He loved the very trees under whose shade he rested. He +loved the little birds that sang in the trees, the grass +upon which he walked, the flowers that bedecked the +forest. And he loved his fellow man. He had a warm, +generous heart and affection that went out to the poor +and those who were needy. W. C. Brann was never +known to attack a man who was a man. It was the strong +and the defiant that he branded, and not the weak and +the needy or the deserving. For these he was the friend. +I knew this man, not only as the editor of the ICONOCLAST, +not only as the utterer of grand and entertaining +sentences, but I knew him as a man whose palm was stretched +out to the man who was in need. Few men have been +more generous with their charity than my neighbor and +my friend whom we lay away to-day. No man within my +knowledge ever presented the world with a purer, a nobler, +a loftier home character than W. C. Brann. Oh! how he +loved his wife and his dear little children--not only the +children that were living, but the child that was dead. +How ardently he strove to support, maintain and bless +them. And what a friend they have lost. No man ever +approached W. C. Brann for a penny that he did not +respond, and from his beautiful home no beggar was ever +turned away. I am afraid many people who only knew +Mr. Brann as a genius, as a man of eloquence and power +with the pen, knew little of him as a man of heart and +affection. But, I, as his friend, as a friend of his wife +and his fatherless children, I thank the people of Waco +to-day that they have testified of their affection for this +man. We shall never see his like again here, perhaps. +He was a rising star. How soon that star has set! But, +my dear friends, he has left a memory. He has made +his impression upon the world and we will never forget +him. Let me then say, for I must be brief, I am reminded +by the stormy elements about us that I must not detain +you longer, let me say in conclusion that Brann is not +dead. His burning words still live, and his thoughts will +yet remain to affect the world, and we will never forget +him. And I say to his wife and children, though to-day +you feel crushed by this great sorrow, I know by +experience that our dead do not pass away from our minds. +They grow more beautiful the longer we live. We remember +them with greater pleasure, more tenderly, they will +always be just like they had been. They never change. +The little girl that you laid away in Houston is to-day in +your mind just what she was then. And the dear husband +that you lay away now will always be just what he is to- +day. No changes can come. He is fixed in the memory. + +"Now, my friends, in behalf of Mrs. Brann and her +children, let me thank you for this presence, for this +demonstration of your appreciation of this man who has +so suddenly, so unexpectedly, fallen in our midst. Let us +cherish his memory, remember his virtue, and imitate his +daring courage in defiance of that which he thought was +evil and wrong. He was not without his faults. None +of us are. He was always ready and willing to admit that. +No man was more willing to answer for his work than +W. C. Brann. Therefore I ask for him that judgment +to-day we shall all crave of one another when we shall +have passed away. We will now lay his body in the +grave, we will cover it with mother earth, and upon it +place these flowers as a testimonial of our love and +affection for him." + +At the grave, the bouquet which Mrs. Brann had laid +on the casket before leaving home was returned to her, +and just before the casket was lowered into the grave, +she stepped forward and lovingly placed the floral piece +upon the casket and it was closed in the grave. There +was a large number of floral offerings. Flowers were +there in profusion. But as at the other funeral, two +pieces were especially noticeable. One was a huge broken +wheel, full three feet in diameter, all in white, composed +of lilies of the valley, hyacinths and roses. It was the +gift of the employees of the ICONOCLAST, and William +Marion Reedy of St. Louis. The Knight Printing Company +sent a large anchor about three feet long, which +was composed of pink carnations and white roses. The +following were the pallbearers: J. W. Shaw, G. B. Gerald, +D. R. Wallace, L. Eyth, Waller S. Baker, Dr. J. W. Hale, +H. B. Mistrot, John D. Mayfield and James M. Drake. + + +* * * +THE LATEST TRAGEDY. + +(Editorial appearing in the Waco Weekly Tribune, +issue April 9, 1898, and written by Hon. A. R. McCollum, +editor, and State Senator of the Texas Legislature.) + +What use to write, or read or talk of the tragic deaths +of Brann and Davis unless those who survive are to draw +from the tragedy lessons which, rightly applied, will bring +peace and good to society and especially to this +community? If not this, then far better silence. In the news +columns of the paper we have told the story of the battle +to the death, fought on the public streets, of the death +scenes and burial. And all over this land, where newspapers +are printed, the story has been told and millions +have read. There will be no adequate estimate of the effect +the reading will have upon the minds of the millions. It +is certain that the most patent result will be to discredit +this community in the esteem of the people whose good +opinion our people would like to have, and to react in ways +that will affect the material welfare of this city and very +likely of the county, too. Beyond all question the +deplorable events of last year, opening with October, have +operated to the detriment of Waco, and beyond all question +the latest chapter of blood and violence will intensify +the distrust, unless it is evidenced that this is to be the +end, and that hereafter peace and order are to prevail, and +the sacredness of human life be more assured. This is +why we say it is little use to write or discuss the passing +of Brann and Davis, beyond rendering the tributes of love +and affection, unless our people are to learn from the +deaths the lessons of forbearance and tolerance and +subordination of passion and prejudice to the nobler and +better ends and aims of life. Asperity and bitterness must +be buried in the graves with the dead. + +Brann and Davis have gone to a judgment higher than +that of men, and both, we venture to hope and believe, have +found how true it is that God is Mercy, as well as justice. +For our part, we would rather let them rest in peace and +not essay an analysis of their attributes and actions. We +will say this of Brann, that though he could write with a +pen of vitriol, in his private life he could be and was as +gentle as a woman, and his aspirations were those of +generosity and kindness, of faithfulness to friends. His home +life--with wife and children--was a poem that never +ended till he died. His genius was superhuman. As Mr. +Shaw truly said in his remarks at the grave, it is not +likely that we shall ever see his like again in this +community. Davis was cast in a different mold mentally, a +man of quite another type. He was sturdy and practical +and took the world precisely as he found it. It was indeed +a strange fate that brought these two men face to face +in deadly conflict and made of Davis the instrument to put +an end to Brann's earthly career. Both men loved and +were beloved. Widows and orphans mourn them. Let the +dead rest in peace, for good can be said of each. + +It is the manifest duty of this community to forbear +from discussion of what might have been, or who sowed +the wind that brought the whirlwind. At the best, years +of patience, unselfish, earnest work will be needed to restore +our city to the place it might hold in the esteem of men. +The fool will say: "It makes no difference what others +think." It is a fool's consolation and a fool's argument, +for the cold truth is that not alone the prestige and good +repute of our fair city have been marred, but material +progress and prosperity have been affected. Population, +capital, skill, brawn, industry, morality hold aloof--not +wholly, of course, yet to a degree that is material and +unfortunate. It is possible to remedy this, but not until +we prove to the world that toleration and peace are to rule +here, and that human life is not to be held as the cheapest +thing society has to lose. + +The following account of the mobbing of Brann in the +fall preceding his death (see Brann's article "Ropes, +Revolvers and Religion" in Vol. X.) is taken from the +Waco Tribune for October 9, 1897 It is reproduced +here to enable the reader to better interpret the +circumstances of Brann's death. + + +BRANN AND BAYLOR. + +As to the Brann-Baylor episode, the old adage, "two +wrongs will not make a right," is certainly applicable to it. +Brann's article on Baylor University was wholly indefensible-- +essentially ill-timed and could not possibly have +wrought any good, either to Baylor or the cause of +morality in general. It merited the protest and indignation +it evoked, and we question if Brann, when he wrote it, +really appreciated its full import, for, had he reflected, +he would have known that he placed his friends at a +disadvantage, in that men who hold the views respecting +virtuous womanhood that most Southern men (and himself +included) do could not defend the article. And Brann is +a man who we have always found to be true to his friend; +not one to place a friend in an embarrassing or unpleasant +position. He illustrated how a wonderfully brilliant man +may astonish the world and himself, too, by perpetrating +a grave blunder or mistake. We cannot understand how +he came to print the article. + +And as for the course of the Baylor students who laid +forcible hands on Brann and by mob power compelled him +to sign humiliating admissions and apologies, their course +was about as grave a blunder as was Brann's. It is not +palliation to argue how indignant they were and how +natural their indignation. Perhaps those in authority at +Baylor who are said to have known beforehand the purpose +of the student mob and quietly winked at--if they +did not openly commend it--are more to blame than the +boys who did the work, for the older heads were naturally +expected to display the wisdom of mature years. It is the +truth that the authorities who condoned and the students +who perpetrated the lawlessness are equally beyond the +pale of defense. + +It was thus that two wrongs and not one right were +done. All the parties to the wrong will have to take the +consequence. Brann has impaired the prestige of the +ICONOCLAST, students and university authorities have +brought unnecessary reproach on Baylor, given it +undesirable notoriety. Baylor is part and parcel of Waco. +All of us, regardless of creed, helped to rear it. Its good +name and welfare are matters of concern to all. + +Brann, if he knew of disgraceful facts or episodes +connected with Baylor, should have given names, dates and +specific details. And some student, professor, patron or +friend of Baylor--someone with a daughter, sister or +female relative there--thus vested with the God-given right +of resenting slurs on the virtue of girl students, should +have been found willing to deal with Brann personally, and +somewhere else than on the university grounds with Brann +helpless and bulldozed. Any man thus acting with defense +of his womankind as his plea may, if his pretensions are +valid, always risk public opinion and jury verdicts in this +county. + +We hope this matter will end where it is. Nobody wants +to see Brann driven away from Waco, nor do we believe +such a thing can be done. Men will be found in ample +numbers to maintain his right to dwell here. He is a +brilliant man, who can be distinctly useful as a writer. +On his part he owes something to the community which +is willing to maintain his every right--to the friends who +are still his friends even if he makes a mistake, and that +is to remember that Baylor University is part and parcel +of Waco, and that the reputable element of society here +does not share his views concerning the disrepute alleged +to attach to Baylor. Most of us wish Brann well; most +of us wish Baylor well. + +It has been said that this is a matter of "religious" +differences and prejudices. It is not so, save where +individuals want and see fit to make it so. It has been said +"personal liberty" and bigotry are involved in this +matter. We fail to comprehend how or wherein. God knows +there is not a spot on the globe where there is more +diversity of opinion, more freedom of expression and action +as to religion than in this town. Once more, we hope +the matter is ended and for good. + +. . . + +Since the above was put in type the assault made by +Judge Scarborough, R. H. Hamilton and George Scarborough +on Mr. Brann has occurred. Judge Scarborough +has a daughter, George Scarborough a sister, who has +recently been a student and is now a member of the faculty +at Baylor. It will thus be understood how Brann's article +could aggrieve the father and brother. If either one had +taken a shotgun and killed Brann on sight, public opinion +would have held such a course far more commendable than +the policy adopted. If either one had challenged him, +given him a show for his life, and in the duel killed him, +public sentiment would have condoned such a step and no +jury in this county would award any penalty for the +slaying. But the overpowering attack by three men was +itself a mob attack--three may constitute a mob as well +as ten or twenty. Of course there will be some to defend +the trio of assaulters, but the consensus of public opinion +will be against it and by the greater part of our people +it will be regarded as essentially unfair. It has not served, +so far as we can see, any good purpose, but to the +contrary has intensified the bitter feeling existing here. +Brann's friends never indorsed his article on Baylor, but +this assault justified their indignation. As for Judge +Scarborough, we must regret his act and express surprise +that he got his consent to such a course. As for Hamilton, +his participation is altogether indefensible. + +* * * +The following is the account of the shooting of Brann +from the Waco "Times-Herald." See the editorial for the +attitude of this paper. The ante-mortem statement of +Davis, and the statements of Moore, Hall and Sherman +Vaughan are identical in both papers and are therefore not +repeated. The "Times-Herald" gave no statements from +Earp, Petterson, Chase, Insley nor Dugger. Note other +statements not given in the "Tribune." + + +TERRIFIC, DEADLY CONFLICT + +A Fearful Street Fight, in Which W. C. Brann and Tom +E. Davis Were Riddled With Pistol Shots and +William H. Ward Shot through the Hand. + +BRANN, EDITOR OF ICONOCLAST, DEAD. + +The Life of Tom E. Davis, the Well-known Real Estate +Man of Waco, Hangs by a Slender Thread, With +Almost Every Chance Against Him. + +BRANN-BAYLOR AFFAIR THE CAUSE. + +A Motorman and Musician Wounded by Flying Missiles-- +Ward in Jail on a Charge of Assault to Murder-- +The City Thrown Into a Whirlwind of Excitement +Over the Fearful Affair and Happy Homes Made Sad. + +At this writing, 9 o'clock, W. C. Brann, editor of Brann's +ICONOCLAST, and Tom E. Davis, a prominent real estate +man of this city, lie dangerously wounded with a likelihood +of their dying at any moment. William H. Ward, an +employee of W. C. Brann, is shot through the right hand. +Sigh Kennedy, a motorman on the street car line, is shot +in the right knee, and Kepler, a traveling musician, is shot +in the right foot. The three men last named are only +slightly wounded. + +W. C. Brann is shot through the left groin, in the right +foot and through the middle of the back about the lower +part of the shoulder blade, ranged upward and outward, +coming out at the front side near the point where the +arm joins the body. + +Tom E. Davis is shot twice in the right arm, the balls +going through the arm, leaving four holes, one in the upper +left arm near the shoulder on the outer part of the arm. +This ball ranged to the back and came out just a little +ways in the left shoulder. Another shot took effect in +the right breast, near the nipple, ranged outward and +backward, coming out of the back near the side. Another +shot took effect in the back, near the right side, about the +waistband, ranged outward and downward and lodged just +over the spine, just under the skin. Another shot took +effect just under the right arm, ranged backward, coming +out about six inches in the back. This made a total of +six shots that took effect in Davis' body. + +From best information obtained, the cause of the trouble +dates back to the old Brann-Baylor affair. It was during +this trouble that Mr. Davis was an outspoken advocate for +Baylor and had made the same statement that scores of +other people in Waco are accredited with having made +that "Brann is a scoundrel and ought to be run out of +town." Mr. Davis was fearless and outspoken, and Mr. +Brann learned of the stand he took. + +Yesterday it seems that Mr. Brann, in company with +Mr. W. H. Ward, an employee of his, made it convenient +to come in contact with Mr. Davis, and one of them, +supposed to be Mr. Brann, cursed Mr. Davis as he passed +them. Mr. Davis had been out on the street where he had +just been passed by the men a couple of times and returned +to his office on Fourth Street, between Franklin and Austin +Streets. He had been in his office only a minute or so +when Messrs. Brann and Ward passed, with Brann on the +inside. As the two men passed Mr. Davis says that one +of them remarked in a loud voice, "There is the damned +cowardly son of a ----. He will take anything," to which +Mr. Davis replied, "Are you scoundrels talking about me?" + +The shooting followed immediately. When the shooting +ended Davis was taken into French's newsstand and several +physicians were called in, opiates were administered, +and it looked as if Davis would die at any moment. He +talked some to his friends, frequently saying, "They have +got me; I am bound to go." + +County Clerk Joney Jones was present, and all being +fearful that Davis might die at any moment, Mr. Jones +took his ante mortem statement, which is given below. + +Mr. Brann was taken to the city hall by Officers Sam +Hall and Durie, where he was laid upon a couch and other +physicians attended him until 7:20 o'clock, when he was +taken home, being accompanied by physicians and friends. + +Ward, Kennedy and Kepler all repaired to the drug +stores and had their wounds dressed. + +Something near an hour after the shooting Mrs. Davis +and her children came from their home in East Waco to +the side of the wounded husband and father. At dark +Davis was removed to the Pacific hotel, where Dr. J. C. J. +King attended him in his official capacity. Mrs. Davis +was with her husband and numerous friends were present +to administer every want. + +Mr. Ward employed an attorney. Justice W. H. Davis +was called up by telephone and about 9 o'clock he opened +court in his courtroom. Mr. Ward, through his attorney, +waived all formalities, preliminaries and examination and +was granted bond in the sum of $4,000, which he failed +to give and went to jail. + +From the moment the first shot was fired citizens rushed +to the scene from every part of the city, and in a moment +after the firing had ceased there were fully one thousand +persons on Fourth Street surging around French's newsstand, +while there were two-thirds that number at the city +hall where Mr. Brann was being attended to, and up until +after midnight the streets were filled with hundreds and +hundreds of citizens grouped here and there in all of the +hotels and on the street corners discussing the one absorbing +question--"The shooting." + +At midnight both Mr. Davis and Mr. Brann were alive, +with the former resting much easier. + +E. P. NORWOOD. + +Mr. E. P. Norwood said: + +"Just prior to the shooting I had walked up Fourth +Street, passing Messrs. Brann and Ward standing in front +of Krauss' store, near Bankers' Alley, when I met Hermann +Strauss, who insisted that I go back across the alley +to Laneri's saloon. As we went back I saw Brann and +Ward still standing where they were and at that moment +Tom Davis had just come up the sidewalk in front of +Laneri's and, leaving Bankers' Alley without crossing it, +he went immediately to his office. + +"In a moment I saw Brann and Ward go directly to +Davis' office. I thought nothing unusual of this, not +knowing that any difficulty was liable to occur and went in to +Laneri's to take a drink. In a moment or so I heard two +or three shots fired, and I immediately ran to the door. +When I got where I could see the men I saw Davis on the +ground and Brann and Ward standing up firing at him. +I am positive that Ward fired one shot, if not two shots; +he ceased and Brann continued firing until an officer rushed +right into the shooting and caught Brann." + +JOHN SLEEPER. + +Mr. John Sleeper was an eye-witness and made the +following statement: + +"I was standing in the Fourth Street entrance to my +store and was looking south on Fourth Street, and saw +Mr. Brann and Mr. Ward coming up the sidewalk from +the alley in front of the Cotton Belt ticket office, and then +turned and looked north towards Austin Street. And +while looking in that direction I heard three pistol shots +almost simultaneously, and turned and looked in the direction +from which the pistol shots came, and saw Mr. Tom +Davis reeling and falling to the sidewalk and Mr. Brann +firing upon him. Mr. Davis fell to the ground almost in +a heap and rolled over as many as four times. Mr. Ward +handed Mr. Brann a pistol and Brann stepped forward +towards Davis and began firing on him as he was rolling +upon the sidewalk. Brann and Ward then turned and +walked away on Fourth Street towards Austin Street to +a point directly opposite my door, where I was standing, +when two police officers came across Fourth Street from +the direction of the Citizens National Bank, and as they +came up to Brann he remarked: 'Gentlemen, I am shot,' +but Ward said nothing. I noticed blood flowing from +Ward's right hand as if he was wounded in it. I did not +see Mr. Davis or Mr. Ward either shoot at any time." + +AB VAUGHAN. + +Mr. Ab Vaughan, a well-known man about town, says +that while crossing Fourth Street from the Cotton Belt +ticket office towards the Pacific Hotel, he passed Brann +and Ward in the street, on the east side of the street +railway track, and that he overheard one of them say +to the other, "I wouldn't do it," though which one spoke +he was unable to say. He paid no attention to the remark +at the time, and stepped into the Pacific Saloon. +The next instant he heard the reports of a pistol, +followed in rapid succession by a number of other shots. + +W. O. BROWN. + +Mr. W. O. Brown made the following statement: + +"A few minutes before 6 o'clock I was at the Pacific +Hotel bar, in company with W. C. Brann. We conversed +together for fifteen or twenty minutes, during the course +of which Baylor University was discussed as well as the +trouble attendant upon his Philippics against it. Before +parting, Mr. Brann remarked in rather a sneering way: +'I expect to get killed, but when I am, Baylor will have +become a thing of the past,' or words to that effect. We +separated, and I walked down Fourth Street to Austin, +where I met my wife and a lady friend in our phaeton, +and after a moment's conversation with her, entered a +buggy with Mr. C. M. Clisbee, and started to the opera +house. Just as we turned the corner I heard a pistol +shot, perhaps two, and turning my head saw Tom Davis +fall to the sidewalk. I jumped from the buggy and ran +towards my wife's phaeton, fearing her horse would take +fright, but finding my fears groundless hastened to the +scene of the shooting, and there found Tom Davis lying +on the sidewalk, and assisted in carrying him into French's +newsstand. I heard several shots fired after I saw Davis +fall, but who fired them I am unable to say." + +JUDGE J. W. DAVIS. + +Judge John W. Davis said: + +"I was standing on Fourth Street just below the Pacific +Hotel entrance, talking to a number of gentlemen, among +them John W. Marshall. I heard a pistol shot up Fourth +Street and turned and saw in front of W. F. Williams +& Co.'s office what appeared to be several men in a scuffle. +The larger man was falling toward the street. Shots +were fired into him as he was falling and continued after +he was lying on the sidewalk and was rolling over. The +shots were fired in such rapid succession that it seemed +impossible for them to have come from one pistol. I did +not recognize the participants at first, but thought that +the man falling was Tom Davis. After eight or ten shots +had been fired I recognized W. C. Brann with a policeman. +I could not tell what was the relative position of +the party. They all seemed to be in a clump." + +J. W. WILLIAMS. + +John W. Williams says: + +"Just a few moments before the shooting Tom Davis +came into our office, that of Williams & Co., and said +hello to Tom Sparks, who was talking to me. He then +turned and went out. In a moment I heard a click as +though a pistol was being cocked and at that time +recognized the voice of Davis saying something like "don't +talk to me." At the same time I saw the tail of Davis' +coat go back as if he was trying to draw his pistol. +Rapid shooting followed as if from several pistols. When +I reached the door I saw Ward either shoot or push +Davis down, his hand being almost or quite against Davis +and Davis between me and him. At the same time as the +push or shot from Ward I saw Brann fire. And the +firing was continued by Brann, Davis at this time struggling +on the ground or sidewalk and called out to me +that he was murdered. I got his pistol. Brann +continued to fire and snapped his pistol several times after +Davis was down. The shots were fired very rapidly and +as I was looking at and watching Brann so intently I +cannot say whether Ward was shooting or not as I was +not looking at him." + +W. S. GILLESPIE. + +Mr. W. S. Gillespie said: + +"I was sitting in my office a few minutes prior to the +shooting and noticed Mr. Brann and Mr. Ward, his +business manager, standing across the street on the corner +of Bankers' Alley in very earnest conversation, looking +across the street as if watching some one or something, +and finally came across to the corner in front of my office +and after they passed going north towards Austin Street +I heard the rapid firing of guns and ran out and found +T. E. Davis lying on the sidewalk, and I went up to him +and asked him if he was very badly hurt, and he remarked, +'They have assassinated me; they have murdered +me,' and friends came up to my assistance and he was +conveyed to French's cigar store. + +B. H. KIRK. + +Mr. B. H. Kirk said: + +"At the time of the shooting I was on the sidewalk in +front of Mr. Mackey's office. I noticed W. C. Brann and +W. H. Ward together crossing Fourth Street from the +direction of Krauss' store and walking towards Tom +Davis' office. A moment or two after I heard two shots +fired very near together, and, looking, saw Tom Davis +on the sidewalk in front of his office in the act of falling; +as he lay on the sidewalk two more shots were fired into +him. After these last two shots Davis rolled over and +fired at Brann and I thought hit him in the breast. After +that several more shots were fired into Davis. Brann +and Ward were about three feet from Davis during the +firing, standing near the outside of the sidewalk and +perhaps a little nearer to Austin Street. I cannot say +I saw W. H. Ward fire, but my impression is that all +three were shooting." + +B. H. KINGSBURY. + +B. H. Kingsbury said: + +"I was standing close to the telephone post between +Pacific Hotel bar and Mose's newsstand when I heard one +or two shots fired almost together. I exclaimed: 'Tom +Davis is killed,' for I saw him on the sidewalk in front of +his office struggling and rolling. As Davis lay on the +sidewalk, dead, as I thought, there were two men shooting +at him. These men I learn were W. C. Brann and his +body-guard, W. H. Ward. While so shooting at Davis, +Brann was in front of Ward and both were firing. I do +not know if Davis fired before he was down. + +LATER. + +Later.--At 1 A.M. a Times-Herald reporter visited the +home of Mr. Brann and found him dying. At 10.30 o'clock +he had a hemorrhage of the lungs, which filled one of them +up and the lung was still bleeding at 1 A.M., and his +vitality was fast ebbing away. Dr. M. L. Graves said +that the sufferer could not possibly live longer than two +hours and was liable to die at any moment. + +At 1 A.M. Mr. Tom Davis had not rallied from the +effects of his wounds and but little hope was entertained +for his recovery. Mr. Davis has wonderful vitality and +his great strength may yet pull him through, though +there is but the faintest hope that it will. Dr. King is +still at his bedside doing all that is possible for him to do. + +Later.--At 1.55 o'clock this morning W. C. Brann, the +noted editor of Brann's ICONOCLAST, breathed his last. +Just before the end came his family and intimate friends +were gathered about him. His lungs were filled from the +internal hemorrhage and he passed peacefully away. + +3 A.M.--At this hour Mr. Tom E. Davis is rapidly +sinking and it is thought that the end is near at hand. +It may be possible for the wounded man to live as long as +two hours; but all hope has fled and the end is watched +for which may come at any minute. His physicians say +he is dying. + +* * * +(Editorial) + +THE LATE TRAGEDY. + +The details of the awful tragedy of Friday evening are +yet fresh in the minds of the people of Waco, and it is +bootless to recount them. Two of the principals thereto +have passed to the beyond and a third is in the hands of +the outraged law. And with him let the law deal. In +life Captain Davis was our friend. His assailant was +our enemy. In death they take on the proportions of +common humanity. Upon the bier of one we will lay +the myrtle of never-dying remembrance. Over the coffin +of the other let the mantle of forgetfulness rest. The +Times-Herald makes no war upon the dead. + +It is not with the dead we deal to-day, but the living-- +the citizenship, the municipality, the people of Waco +who must suffer, who must endure, and who must survive +the blow that has fallen upon us. Not because two brave +men are dead, but because of the stain of blood guiltiness +that has again besmirched our fair escutcheon. This +tragedy has harmed Waco almost beyond the power of +men to help; because it has again been blazoned to the +world that here human life is cheapened; that men's passions +rule rather than the written law and that our Christian +civilization is but the thinnest veneer atop of the savage. + +Yet out of this may yet come a blessing to Waco. If +it shall teach men to rule their passions and their speech; +if it shall show us the way to lean upon the arm of the +law rather than upon the might of our own strength; if +it shall make us more tolerant of the opinions of our +neighbor; if it shall incline us to encourage the public +weal, rather than private animosities, the shadow of +tragedy may yet pass and the sunlight of humanity prevail. + +The Times has no heart for moralizing. It will add +no pang to the grief of those who mourn. It asks of the +people of Waco that upon the two new mounds made in +Oakland to-day the seeds of forgetfulness may spring into +verdure, covering feud and hiding passion, and that the +dead past will bury its dead, leaving to the present hope, +and to the future fruition. + +Here follow the contents of the May, 1898, ICONOCLAST +published by Brann's friends after his death. + +THE PASSING OF WILLIAM COWPER BRANN. + +BY G. P. GERALD. + +Poetic legend says that on a moonlight night, two +thousand years ago, along the shores of the gulf of Patras, +a mighty voice was heard, crying "Great Pan is dead!" +And from the mountains and the valleys, the woods and +grottoes, where stood the altars of those who worshiped +at the shrine of Pan, was reechoed back the cry, "Great +Pan is dead!" On the second of April, when the winged +lightning bore over a continent, and to foreign lands beyond +the sea, the news that W. C. Brann of the ICONOCLAST +was dead, in every land where his writings are +known, from men and women who worship at the shrine +of genius, went up the wailing cry, "Brann of the +ICONOCLAST is dead." Oh, death! thou grim and imperious +master of us all, how dreadful to the living are your silent +darts, that are ever striking with impartial hand the old +man in his dotage, the strong man in his prime, the brave +man in his courage and the craven in his fear. + +W. C. Brann was 43 years of age, and had just arrived +at that period when he was beginning to realize the hopes +and aspirations of years, when he was stricken down amid +the rejoicings of many and the sorrows of many thousands +more. He was born in Coles County, Illinois, and at the +age of two and a half years, by the death of his mother, +was placed with a sister some two years older than himself, +in the care of Mr. Hawkins and his wife, who lived +on a farm in that county. He remained with them ten +years, and then, longing to be something more than a +farm hand, he packed his small belongings in a little box +and at night, when all was still, he took the box under +his arm and went out into the lonely darkness of the +moonless night, without money, friends or education, to +commence the struggle which ended in his untimely death +at Waco. + +Mr. Brann always spoke in the most kindly terms of +Mr. and Mrs. Hawkins, and when he purchased his home +in this city, he offered to share it with them, but having +grown old and being comfortably situated they did not +desire to change. + +The first place he secured was that of a bell boy in a +hotel, and from that passed on to other situations, +realizing all the time, what every proud spirited boy would +do under the circumstances, the bitterness that friendlessness, +ignorance and poverty bring to the struggle of life. +Among other things he learned the trade of painter and +grainer, also that of printer, all the time storing his mind +with what scraps of education that his life of poverty and +toil permitted. After he gathered sufficient education he +became a newspaper writer, and in 1877, at Rochelle, +Ill., was married to Miss Carrie Martin, who, with two +children, Grace and William Carlyle, "Little Billy," as +we call him, survive him. After the death of Mrs. Brann's +mother, he took to his home one of her sisters, now Mrs. +Marple of Fort Worth, and although often driven to the +most desperate straits to make a living, he proved to her +to be both a brother and a father. He continued his +newspaper career in Illinois and Missouri, until some +thirteen years ago, when he came to Texas, and gradually +became known by his connection with various papers of +the State. For a short time he had an interest in a paper +called the ICONOCLAST, published in Austin, but he soon +found himself back at his old trade, that of driving his +pen for others. At last, worn out by long years of +unremitting and generally poorly requited toil, wearied with +waiting for opportunity to write as he wished but could +not do as an employee of others, he determined to again +strike out for himself, as he had done in his early boyhood, +and in 1894 came to this city and established the ICONOCLAST, +which was a success from its first issue, and continued +to grow in circulation as he grew in reputation +as a writer, until the copy that witnessed his death reached +an issue of nearly 90,000. + +The world, for several generations, has been discussing +whether Shakespeare wrote the plays that bear his name, +thousands believing that it was impossible for a man who +had no more education than Shakespeare had in his youth, +to have exhibited the varied knowledge and learning that +characterize his works, therefore these attribute them to +Sir Francis Bacon, one of the most brilliant and best +educated men of his time. All the evidence goes to show +that at the age of 18, when Shakespeare married, that +he had acquired with a "little Latin and less Greek," the +ordinary education accorded to the sons of the well-to-do +middle-class Englishmen of his time, of which his father +was one. At 18 Mr. Brann had barely secured the rudiments +of an English education, and had he lived to the +age of Shakespeare, there is no telling to what heights, +intellectually, he would have risen. From a slight +knowledge of his hopes and aspirations, I can say, that while +he dearly loved the ICONOCLAST, as a vehicle by which +he could convey to the world his thoughts, he had aspirations +that went far beyond it, and proposed that during +the next ten nor twelve years, after his mind had been +fully stored for the work, to leave as a legacy to the +world, in a continuous work, his conception of the wrongs +done to humanity, the evils that spring from them and +the remedies to be applied. And all who have read him +closely and noticed how, month by month, he grew greater +and brighter, will surely join in saying, that the loss of +such a work from such a man, at the meridian of his +intellectual life, is only second, if not equal, to the loss +of the unwritten volumes of Buckle's "History of Civilization." + +Alas! that such a man, with such a great future +before him should have died standing on the very threshold +of his work. + +In the private relations of life Mr. Brann was as +extraordinary as in his public career; he presented that +combination that is so rare that even novelists do not attempt +to paint it, the combination of the lover and the husband, +and as a father, a friend, a lover of humanity, with a +broad mantle of charity for all, he had few equals. + +While he wrote in prose, he was a poet, and of him +can be truly said: + + "The thoughts that stir the poet's heart + Are not the thoughts that others feel, + From the world's creed they are all apart, + And oftener work his woe than weal. + + They are born of high imaginings, + Kindled to life by passion's fire, + As o'er earth's dross his fancy flings + The golden dreams that wrap his lyre." + +As a writer, Mr. Brann had his faults, but they were +the heritage of this God-given son of genius, and with +them he climbed the heights and died among the greatest, +both of the living and the dead. And had he lived ten +years longer, in all probability, the intellectual world +would have held him as the grandest writer that this +earth has ever known since the days when old Homer +painted the matchless beauty of the bride of Menelaus, +and told of the godlike courage of the Greek and Trojan +as they fought for her, from the Scamander to the sea. +While the ignorant, the bigoted and intolerant are +rejoicing in his death and garnishing his grave with the slime +of their slander, they may be assured that his name and +writings will live until the English language dies, and +when W. C. Brann is dead and forgotten, so will be +Sterne, Smollet, Fielding, Swift, Pope, Steele, Addison, +Goldsmith, Shakespeare, Ben and Sam Johnson, Byron, +Shelley, Keats, Carlyle, George Eliot and all that mighty +host that have made the English language what it is. The +language that the little tribe of the Angles brought from +the forest of Germany to Britain swallowed the Britain, +and survived the Norman conquest, and then absorbed +both the conqueror and his language. And in the dead +centuries of over a thousand years, in every generation +has produced some mighty intellect to speed it on in building +up the bulwarks of human rights and human liberty, +until they have grown so high that despots turn from +it with loathing, and slaves cannot speak it. The language +of the Magna Charta and the Declaration of American +Independence, the two instruments that have spread the +bread of liberty before a hungry world. And as a writer +of this language, with all its mighty past and greater +future. W. C. Brann had few equals and no superiors. + +I have been asked, both before and since his death, +what were his religious opinions, and while every man's +religious opinions are his own, and no one has the right +to question them, I will say he was a Deist something after +the manner of Thomas Paine, and for the benefit of +some of our professors and preachers, who do not know +the difference between an Atheist and a Deist, I will say +that a Deist is one who believes in one God, and rejects +all forms of so-called revealed religion. Mr. Brann loved +nature and when he looked upon it, he saw nature's God, +that with eternal fingers has written his message on earth +and sky, so that savage and civilized, Christian and Infidel +alike could read, that has by immutable and unvarying +laws, regulated the bloom of the flowers, the +course of the winds, and the fall of the leaf, as well as +the revolutions of the countless millions of worlds that +are ever speeding through the unmeasurable realms of +space. He believed that this mighty power, that men +call God, could perpetuate man in the hereafter as easily +as he had placed him here, and while he, like many others, +knew that all his hopes and faith did not furnish one +atom of real proof as to what lies beyond the gates of +death, still he hoped for the brighter and better life, and +when that beautiful smile overspread his face when he +died, those who beheld it felt that he had realized his +hopes, and in the shadowy realm that bounds the Stygian +river had met his little girl Inez, whose untimely death +at the age of barely 12 years, had worked such havoc +in his heart. Mr. Brann loved nature, not only when +the gorgeous god of day threw over earth and sky the +flashing strands of his golden hair, but in the night time +when all else was wrapped in the arms of sleep, the twin +sister of death; and the belated passer-by of his home +often saw the gleam of his cigar as he sat or walked +upon the lawn, in the small hours of the night: and at +such time I know there came through his soul the thoughts, +if not the words, of that death-devoted Greek, who to the +question from the woman that he loved, "O, Ion, shall +we meet again," answered, "I have asked that dreadful +question of the hills that look eternal. Of the clear +streams that flow on forever. Of the bright stars amid +whose fields of azure my raised spirit has walked in glory. +All, all are dumb." + +But when I gaze upon thy face, I feel that there is +something in the love that mantles through its beauty +that cannot wholly perish, we shall meet again, Clemanthe. +But it was not the name of Clemanthe that passed his +lips, it was ever "Inez, darling Inez, we shall meet again." + +I here reproduce in his own words an extract appropriate +to this subject. It is from the ICONOCLAST of +March, 1896, and an article headed "Beecher on the Bible": + +"I know nothing of the future; I spend no time +speculating upon it--I am overwhelmed by the Past and at +death grips with the Present. At the grave God draws +the line between the two eternities. Never has living man +lifted the somber veil of Death and looked beyond. + +"There is a Deity. I have felt his presence. I have +heard his voice, I have been cradled in his imperial robe. +All that is, or was, or can ever be, is but "the visible +garment of God." I seek to know nothing of his plans +and purposes. I ask no written covenant with God, for +he is my Father. I will trust him without requiring priests +or prophets to indorse his note. As I write, my little +son awake, alarmed by some unusual noise, and come +groping through the darkness to my door. He sees the +light shining through the transom, returns to his trundle- +bed and lies down to peaceful dreams. He knows that +beyond that gleam his father keeps watch and ward, and +he asks no more. Through a thousand celestial transoms +streams the light of God. Why should I fear the sleep +of Death, the unknown terrors of that starless night, the +waves of the river Styx? Why should I seek assurance +from the lips of men that the wisdom, love and power +of my heavenly Father will not fail?" + +Like the lowly Judean carpenter who gave his life in a +protest against the wrongs which wealth and power had +done to his fellow man, he was hated by the Pharisees +and hypocrites, but he never cast a stone at the poor and +unfortunate, but was ever ready to support the weak +battling in the cause of right against the cohorts of the +wrong. + +He was not only a poet, but was a prophet and a +priest; not the prophet and priest of orthodoxy, that has +handed down to us through the ages, written in the blood +of slaughtered millions, that dark story of forked-tailed +demons and flaming hells, that has given us a God that +loves us better than an earthly father can, yet permits +us in the sight of his great white throne to writhe and +suffer through the endless ages of eternity in the flames +of hell. But he was a priest and prophet of a greater +and grander faith, that in the evolution of the unborn +centuries yet to come, will strip from the Godhead all +of the horrid concepts, born of the puny hate of man +for his fellow man. + +Mr. Brann was a man of the highest moral courage, +no one doubted this, but some doubted whether he had +that kind of physical courage that is necessary to +contend with mobs and assassins, but when the hour came +--when, without the slightest warning or anticipation or +danger, the death wound tore through his back, with +a coolness that few even of the bravest of men would +have possessed under the circumstances, with a courage +that could have led the Irish exiles, in that desperate and +deathless charge on the bloody heights of Fontenoy, he +turned and fired every bullet of his pistol into the body +of his assassin. + +I will briefly sketch here some of the main facts that +led to his death, not only justice to the dead, but to his +living friends who only knew him as a writer and have +been compelled to read in the newspapers the loathsome +and lying slanders sent out against him from this +city. + +The origin is to be found in the visit to this city of +ex-Priest Slattery, who, for gross immorality, had been +kicked out of the fold of the Catholic church. He was +accompanied by a woman fully as bad as he, and these +two saints set up to lecture, and the substance of their +lecture was briefly this, that convents and female schools +under the charge of the sisters, were but bawdy houses +to satisfy the lust of the Catholic priesthood. Mr. Brann, +who heard, in the opera house in this city, these vile +slanders flung amid thunders of applause, mostly from a gang +of blackguards from and around Baylor University, outraged +by the wrong done the pure and stainless women +whose vows bar them from the slightest hope of reward +on earth, yet devote their lives in and out of the convent +walls to soothing the sorrows and relieving the sufferings +of humanity, attempted to reply in their defense, and for +this he was hooted and nearly mobbed by this precious +lot of curs and had to be escorted from the opera house +by the police. After the Antonio Tiexeria scandal came +out, and he saw the poor girl reduced to ruin, standing +barely on the verge of womanhood, desolate and friendless +in a foreign land, with his whole sympathetic nature +aroused in her behalf, he certainly struck some hard +blows at Baylor. In his repeated thrusts he made one at +the professors which is believed by many to have cut far +deeper than anything ever said about the Brazilian girl, +and that was his proposition to open a night school for +their benefit. In last October ICONOCLAST, in a +paragraph, he expressed the hope that Baylor would not +continue to manufacture ministers and Magdalens. For +this he was twice mobbed, and it is claimed eventually +murdered. + +Since Mr. Brann's assassination I have seen it charged +in some papers, notably one bearing the word Christian +at its head, that he was killed because he had slandered +his slayer's daughter, and then follows a lot of hypocritical +rot about regretting bloodshed, but that there was an +unwritten law that required the death of a man who +would slander the female relatives of another. A greater +falsehood was never published in even a pious Christian +weekly. He never mentioned the name of any woman connected +with Baylor except the Brazilian girl, and her case +was in the courts, and while his friends deeply regretted +his unfortunate expression it neither justified his mobbing +or his murder. And in the judgment of all fair-minded +men, under the circumstances could have been more readily +construed to mean Antonio Tiexera than any other woman +on earth, for within Baylor's sacred precincts she had +been reduced to that condition to which, when a woman +arrives, men call her a Magdalene. If this was the motive +that prompted his slayer, I ask why he did not appeal +to the unwritten law sooner; he who appeals to it must +do so at the first information has been conveyed to him +that the wrong has been done and he cannot wait for +months and then use it as a defense, and I do not hesitate +to say that hundreds besides myself in this city do not +believe that this prompted his assassin, except to be used +as an excuse. + +Mr. Brann loved Waco as he never loved any other +place; for he knew that within its borders could be found +as many brave, liberal-hearted men, pure and noble women +as could be found in any other spot on earth with the same +population. He loved it, for he said that here was the +first place he ever found a real home, and here was the +place he had for the first time been recompensed for his +toil by receiving over a bare subsistence. Now, did Waco +love Mr. Brann, or did it hold him the foul slanderer +of her purest and best, as some claimed him to be? Let +us see. Every effort was made to throw cold water on +any turnout to his funeral; it was told around the city +that no women would attend and that no flowers would +be sent, but what was the result? From his home to the +cemetery the sidewalks were crowded, save at Baylor +University, the place that is responsible for his death, and +hundreds of men and women who had no carriages walked +from his home over two miles to the cemetery, and when +the long funeral cortege passed within the gates, around +his grave was a sea of human faces unequaled in numbers +ever before gathered around any other grave in Waco. +Yet Waco had lately laid to rest within that cemetery +a man whom she dearly loved and on whom Texas had +been proud to confer her high places, a man who in bygone +years had so gallantly led her sons on so many bloody +fields. As to the flowers, no greater profusion was ever +seen on any other grave in Waco, or, perhaps, in Texas, +a tribute that the pure and stainless women of Waco paid +to the martyred dead. At his funeral was noticed a greater +number, both from the city and county, of the sun-kissed +sons of toil than had ever been gathered here around any +other grave. Why were they there in such numbers? +Why did they bow their manly heads o'er the coffin of +the dead? I will answer for them. It was because they +knew that the dead man loved the land that they, their +sires and their grandsires loved; that he was seeking to +uproot the evils, both socially and politically, that are so +rapidly overrunning it; that all the gold of earth, or the +plaudits of those who feel themselves the grand and great +could not win him from his task of defending a people's +rights against those who were seeking to strike them down, +and if he had made an error in a paragraph subject to +a double construction, that above all else on earth in his +heart he sought + +"But the ruin of the bad, the righting of the wrong +and ill." + + +He was followed to his grave by hundreds of men who +but a few years ago had given of their money liberally +to build up the new Baylor, many of whose wives, daughters +and sisters had been educated there. Is it reasonable +to suppose that these men who clung to him in life with +hooks of steel, and followed him to his grave with tears, +are such cravens that, alike in life and death, they would +stand by the man who had foully slandered their wives, +daughters and sisters' fame? Out upon such a supposition, +it can only find lodgment in a breast that holds that +the Yahoo of Swift is a true picture of the human race, +and that the lowest of the type is living here. If Mr. +Brann was the slanderer of women, why did so many of +them, from the hundreds that crowded the lawn around +his home, lead their children up to his coffin, and those +that were not able to look into it they would raise up +in their arms that they might look into the dead face +of the Prince of the Imperial Realm of Language. + +Mr. Brann was no slanderer of women, no man on +earth had a greater veneration for the good and pure or +more sympathy for the fallen, and he would have died +before he would have wronged intentionally either class. +In this case he had struck in behalf of a poor and +unfortunate girl who had been grievously wronged at Baylor, +and it used to be held, and is yet held in some communities, +that the man who strikes in the defense of a defenseless +woman exhibits the highest trait of chivalry, even if he +had made a mistake in striking, but here in Waco, with +its Christian schools and churches, and its so-called Christian +civilization it was rewarded first by mobs and then by murder. + +He was a man who was incapable of malice, he bore +none for injuries that most men would have rewarded the +cowardly perpetrators by shooting them down like they +have their prototype, the sneaking wolf; this arose from +the innate tenderness of the man who shrunk from the +taking of life, even of an animal, unless it was necessary. + +I have used no words of sympathy for his wife, for +time and not words can soothe sorrow such as hers, but +for the benefit of those at a distance who were her +husband's friends I will say that she has the sympathy of +all the men and women of this city, irrespective of church +or creed, who are not the indorsers and abettors of mobs +and assassins, and I am glad to say that this collection +of hyena-hearted human vultures, though far too many, +are in the minority. + +Now, to the dead friend of humanity, the eternal foe +to wrong and hypocrisy, I bid adieu forever here, and +for aught I know, for hereafter. The greedy grave, whose +hungry mouth is never filled, has claimed him, and in the +arms of old earth, the last mother of us all, we have laid +him to sleep, as peacefully as in infancy he slept upon +his mother's breast, indifferent alike in death as in life +to the human ghouls who pursued him. Never again will +his splendid intellect drive a pen. "In thoughts that +breathe and words that burn" against the serried ranks +of injustice and of wrong. Others will follow in his +footsteps, and battle as faithfully as he for the cause of +right, but, alas, none are clad like him in the Milan mail +of intellectuality, against which the cloth-yard shafts of +foes could rattle but could never pierce. Now, that for +him the restless dream of life has closed, I know that every +admirer of his genius, no matter of what faith or of no +faith at all, will join me in the wish that for him death +did not bring oblivion's dreamless sleep, where Lethean +waves forever wash the pallid brow of death, but Elysian +fields in which he met in joy the loved ones that had gone +before and will await in peace the loved ones that are +left behind. + +"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem! Thou that killeth the +prophets and stoneth them that are sent unto thee." + +* * * +REST--REST IN PEACE. + +BY W. H. WARD. + +There comes, I think, in the life of every man a time +when feeble words come faintly up for utterance--when +the human soul refuses to ease tell its agony in empty +phrases--when neither tongue can tell nor pen portray +the gloom which o'ershadows the spirit engulfed in woe. +This suffering may be selfish, or be merged in a general +sorrow. As I write the simple sentence, Brann is dead, +a pall settles over my spirit, and, groping blindly in the +dark, I feel there remains on earth scarce a single ray +of light. I knew this man, and to know him was to +love him--knew his faults and his virtues; loved him in +spite of one and for the other. His faults were human; +his virtues were Godlike. For years we trod together +Life's unequal pathway--at times I felt that I stayed +his falling steps, and my own feet have strayed oft +and again has his firm hand led me back into the light. +He was to me a delightful study, for which I found never +failing recompense. I have watched his majestic mind +expand as the florist watches the budding beauty of a +flower, ever growing in its unfolding loveliness. I have +lived with him in his home, surrounded by those whom +he loved--seen him joy with their gladness, while his +heart contracted with every pain that approached his +loved ones--have stood with him on the banks of some +mighty river, and watched the evening sun throw its chain +of fire across the bosom of the waters, while his poetic +spirit reveled in the beauties of the sunset sky. Under +the shadow of Lookout, I have gazed with him upon those +beetling crags, where the fate of a nation was in part +decided, while he thanked God fervently that the heart of +the nation yet beat steady and strong--have strolled with +him in the forests when vernal nature spread its glorious +carpet for the foot of man--have felt his great heart +expand to receive every subtle impression of beauty and +tenderness from nature's matchless canvas--have seen this +man against whom the anathema of infidelity and atheism +have gone forth, humbly bow to worship God in his handiwork. +For him, as for us all, there were times when the +earth was darkened with doubt; but there were moments, +I know, when his aspiring soul mounted the clouds and +caught some reflex of the great white light that breaks +on the throne of God. It has been charged that he had +neither faith nor religion. In justice to the memory of +the dead, I deny the charge. He had a faith as noble +as it was unfaltering--that truth was eternal and the love +of justice could never utterly fade from the hearts of +men. His religion was simple still, though confined by +neither church nor creed--'twas the fatherhood of God +and the brotherhood of Man. As he loved truth and +justice even so did he despise falsehood--declaring that he +hated all "who loveth or maketh a lie." He loved his +fellows as few men have done. The great desire of his +heart, and no small part of his lifework, was devoted +to the alleviation of human suffering. In his nature he +was frank and open as the day--generous to a fault. I +do not believe that he gave his affection fondly or +foolishly. If those whom he loved failed to reach his high +standard, it was not his fault. His was a great heart +and he gave its tenderness with a princely hand, feeling +himself rich in giving--glorying in his own munificence. +No man could have been the recipient of this rich bounty +without feeling himself ennobled by the gift. He had the +faculty of attracting to him all whom he considered worthy +of his affection. He possessed in a rare degree that which, +for want of a better name, we term personal magnetism. +Intellectually, he was a meteor that shot athwart the +literary firmament, leaving a train of fire behind to mark +his course. Within a period of four years, in an inland +Texas town, he built up a magazine which was read +by a large percentage of the English-speaking people. +He had at the time of his death a larger clientele of readers +than any living writer. For years he did all of the work +of the ICONOCLAST himself, but of late he had gathered +about him a corps of contributors in whose genius he +himself reveled--a "bunch of pansy blossoms," he fondly +termed them, whose beauty and fragrance would, he +declared, delight the literary world. The hand that held +these blossoms is now folded across a pulseless breast; +but the silken skein of his affection will yet serve to bind +the flowers together. The bright particular star of the +Iconoclastic galaxy is dimmed, but the blended light of +the others may still serve to illumine the dark places of +life, and, in so doing, help to achieve that betterment of +man for which their chief toiled so earnestly, battled so +bravely and hoped so ardently. The poor and oppressed +have lost a friend and protector--true womanhood has +lost one of its ablest defenders--liberty its bravest +champion--his country a hero, ever ready to fight for a +redress of her wrongs. He was a humanitarian in the +broadest and best sense of the word. In his heart there +lived ever a hope that the time might yet come, in this +fair land of ours, when there would be "neither a +millionaire nor a mendicant--a master nor a slave." In life +he was dear to me, his memory is dearer still, nay, 'tis +sacred. I would not play Boswell to any Johnson, but +this was my friend, tender, loving and loyal to me, and +now that he is dead I come to lay this tribute in the +dust at his feet. He has been judged oftenest and most +unjustly, as men usually are, by those who knew him least. +Beneath the iron corselet which confronted the eyes of +the world there beat in this man's breast a heart tender +as a child's, and as loving as a woman's, that throbbed +in agony for every ill to which humanity is heir. I +remember in the early morning once he came into my room +and silently beckoned me to his study. There in the vines +at the window, scarce three feet from his desk, sat one +of our Southern Orioles--a feathered songster, trilling +forth the gladness of his heart in song. Brann watched +the bird and drank in the music of his song. I saw his +face light up with exquisite tenderness, and I knew that +he accepted this matin song of the bird as a message from +his Maker. I trust I may be pardoned for relating this +simple incident, but it served to show me the man as +few things could have done. I know 'tis true that: "As +snowflakes fall to the earth unperceived and are gathered +together in a pile, so do the seemingly unimportant events +of life succeed one another. No single flake creates a +sensible change on the pile, and no single act constitutes, +however much it may exhibit, a man's character." But +it is from simple things that the sum of life is made up +--from those acts which are most spontaneous and usually +least observed that human nature may best be determined +and most justly estimated. This man made no preachment +of his virtues, believing that "the years are seldom +unjust." He was the Navarre of modern journalism, and +his white plume ever showed in the thickest of the fight. +It was his strong hand that taught the "doubtful battle +where to rage"; 'twas his to enchain friendship and inspire +followers. Had he battled for a creed as he fought +for a faith, his bones would have been canonized. Had +he struggled for a party as he stood for the State, no +political preferment would have been held beyond his +reach. Had he lived in another age, among other people, +his body would have been inurned in the Valhalla of the +Brave. As it is, all that is mortal of him occupies only +so much of Texas soil as may serve as "paste and cover +of his bones." Little does he reck of this, and his friends +should not repine, for the same prairie breezes that waft +incense of flowers over the graves of Travis, Bowie and +Crockett, sing a sad requiem over the final resting place +of Brann. The aspiring soul has found its fixed abode +among the stars; his Titanic intellect which, here on earthy +ever struggled for the light, now bathes in the effulgence +of the Sun. His heart, ever unquiet because of the woes +of his kind, now knows that peace which "passeth the +understanding of man." The hand of the All-Father has +forever soothed the heart-hunger and unrest of life from +his troubled breast. That hand which swept, at will, every +cord of the harp of life, has fallen nerveless, but its music +will yet linger in the hearts of men until love of truth +and beauty shall utterly fade from the earth. A long +good-night to thee, Brave Heart, thy better part has +found the better place; to that which is mortal and +remains with us, we say, Rest--Rest in Peace. + + +A MEMORIAL TO W. C. BRANN. + +It has been suggested that the friends and admirers of +Mr. Brann join in a contribution to mark the spot where +he sleeps. It is proposed, if this meets the approval of +friends, that it be a granite vase, some four or five feet +high, surmounted either by a life size statue in bronze or +marble of the dead, holding in his hand a copy of the +ICONOCLAST, as if offering it to the passer-by, and the +word ICONOCLAST upon it in letters sufficiently large to +be read at a distance of twenty feet. It is said by those +who claim to know that such a memorial can be erected +at a cost of some $3,000 or $4,000. + +Many of his friends would not approve, and neither +would he if he could express himself, of anything that +would require any large expenditure of money while so +many thousands of worthy men and women are struggling +in vain to secure the bare necessities of life, these holding +that costly monuments can do the dead no good, and are +in bad taste in the living. There can be no doubt that +thousands in the years to come will seek his grave to lay +their offerings upon the shrine of genius, and while his +will be marked I wish to say in this connection to those +asking in what condition Mrs. Brann is left financially +that while she will have sufficient to keep the wolf from +hers and her children's door if properly managed, that +she will not have over a tithe of what it has been published +that she would. + +Submitting these few words for the consideration of +his friends, I can say if a response sufficiently favorable +come, then the proper steps will be taken to carry it out; +if not, nothing more will be said, at least not from me; +and as his friend I would not approve of keeping standing +in the ICONOCLAST a list of subscribers to the fund; if +the suggestion is carried out it will be time enough to +publish it when the work is finished and the statue +unveiled. G. B. GERALD. + +. . . + +The man who takes up Brann's work will only succeed, +not replace him. He was a star of the first magnitude, +and such bodies are not created in an hour--not always +in an age. He who attempts an imitation, however clever +his work, would stand before the world, self-confessed, a +failure from the first. Booth, in his favorite character +inspired us--Joe Jefferson could only prompt us to +laughter. Yet, is not Jefferson without genius in his way? +There is no reason, however, why he who follows may +not be as loyal to the faith, as courageous in the fight, +as Brann was known and acknowledged to be. The Chief +is dead, but did not die until he had blazoned the way +for those who dare follow where he so bravely led. + +. . . + +In life Brann often said he wanted no mourning worn +for him, save that which enshrouded the hearts of his +family and friends--that the mere trappings of woe were +but its "limbs and outward flourishes," which, too often, +failed to reach the heart. + +* * * +SPEAKING OF BRANN. + +Died Fighting April 2, 1898. + + Where now is all his thundering? + He has "fall'n on stillness" in the Spring, + And even echo answers not, + "In that dim land where all things are forgot," + His surging sentences, his cadenced chimes + Of speech that through the seven climes + Wooed the many to rapt listening. + + Soothed by the wind of the dead men's feet, + He lies in slumber senseless-sweet. + His fame, his wife's and children's tears, + The issue that made up his manly years, + His hates and loves the burgeoning Earth receives, + And list, "a little noiseless noise among the leaves" + Of southern springtime pity does entreat. + + A fighter's faults were his, but strong + The blows he struck at throned Wrong; + Beauty he loved as ever love the brave; + The April air breathes beauty o'er his grave. + Truth he pursued. Lo, he has found her now: + She kissed the kiss of peace upon his brow. + His ears are filled with Silence's sweet song. + + Fighting he died, marched into the Night, + His banner blazing with his bravery's light. + "Shot from behind," the story goes, + To glorify him and to damn his foes. + The foes he fought were Cowardice and Fraud; + They have prevailed again, but, O Lord God, + Thou wilt raise up still others for Thy fight. + + Rejoicing loud is in the House of Sham, + Bigots to themselves make deep salaam, + Shoddydom rubs its ringed hands in glee, + The Ogre's scandal-scourged at each pink tea, + Pecksniff's pray that he has gone to swell + The galaxy of bravery and brains in Hell-- + Great joy in small souls all not worth a damn! + + But where men think, feel, as men can, + "Bon voyage through the dark, good man!" + They call and take up his pen-lance + And brandish it again 'gainst Ignorance + In power fortified with a myriad lies + And every great-heart, fine-soul cries + As pledge of fealty, "Here's to you, Brann!" + + What tho' he hear no rumor of our hail! + What tho' we follow searching for that Grail + A bettered world with less of woe and pain, + And better gods than Privilege and Gain, + Out in the darkness, by assassins sped, + 'Tis better far to join defeated dead + Than share success with him whose soul's for sale. + +--WILLIAM MARION REEDY, in St. Louis Mirror. + +* * * +DEATH OF W. C. BRANN. + +What a sable pall was flung over the spirits of countless +thousands who heard last week that Editor W. C. Brann, +of the ICONOCLAST, was no more. "The heavens seem +hung in black and the clouds are wrung of their stars," +wrote a St. Paul friend who idolized the apostolic seer. + +The world is dark with excess of grief for the immortal +soul of an illimitable genius has been sent to its maker +and scattered with the star dust of the eidouranion +William C. Brann was an apostle. Like Christ, like Lincoln +and others whom we deify, he was misunderstood and +reviled, and a cowardly bullet pierced him in the back, a +martyrdom of which he had a premonition. + +The head and front of his offending was strict adherence +to the truth, though the heavens fall. He knew no fear, +but was never the aggressor. + +The lamented Brann was an educator, and an emancipator +of human liberty and human thought. The hypocrite +stood in awe of his judgment. When he indicted him +to be arraigned before the great bar of public opinion he +dipped his pen in acid that seared the eyeballs, and wrote +their sentence diluted with worm-wood and gall. It is +not small wonder that the Judas Iscariots and the lemurs +trembled at his power. + +Brann's tragic exit from this vale of tears is +inspiration now for jackals to attack his name. Like the dull, +dull ass they are not afraid to kick the dead lion, while +their ears wave to the seventh heaven of delight. In earth +life they feared his name, but like ghouls they now go +down into the grave to besmirch his memory. And this, +too, from those who profess to follow the teachings of the +meek and lowly Nazarene. + +Strange as it may seem to the hypocrite, Brann was a +religious man. His creed was the religion of humanity. +His biographers, if they do him justice, will write his +name with the blood of the lamb high up on the flying scroll. + +Brann's friends, and they are legion, should not repine +if he is not canonized as his bones are hearsed in death, +for "whenever was a god found agreeable to everybody? +The regular way is to lynch, as the Baylorites did, to +hang, to kill, to crucify and excoriate and trample them +under their stupid hoofs, cloven or webbed, as the case may +be, for a century or two; and then take to braying over +them when you discover their divine origin, still in a very +long-eared manner!" So speaks the sarcastic man, in +his wild way, very mournful truths. + +Brann was as the "life-tree, Igdrasil, wide-waving and +many-toned, with fimbriated tendrils down deep in the +Death-Kingdoms, among the oldest dead dust of men and +with boughs reaching always beyond the stars and ever +changeless as the immutable empyrean of eternal hope." + +They could better spare the whole State of Texas than +William C. Brann. While the galled jades winced beneath +the scorpion whips of his satire, and would have preferred +fireballs, they felt the potency of his dynamics and scurried +to the soldier works of the masters for a glint of mental +pabulum they had never known before. + +The editor of The Sunday Eye is in receipt of many +letters from admirers of the late lamented genius. They +are rich in anathema and maranatha of Brann's heartless +and cruel detractors. With one accord they have expressed +the wish that I excoriate the revilers who desecrated +by bludgeon words the sacrosanct acre of God in +which reposes the mortal tenement of the sacred scribe. + +I do not believe as Mr. Charles Campbell, of Anchor, +does, that they should be gibbeted high as Haman. Nor +do I think as Mr. C. E. Stewart, of Minier, does, that they +should be lashed naked through the world and lambasted +till death ends the heart throbs. I believe that they should +be permitted to live until they have read the great genius +and learned to understand and exalt him. It would make +them better for it, religion would not suffer by it, though +Baylor sank a thousand leagues beneath the seven-hued +regions of Tartarus. + +The ICONOCLAST minced no words. When it dealt body +blows they landed in the brisket and affected the solar +plexus in a very apprehensive way. + +Lincoln was gentle and generous, Ingersoll was brilliant +and broad, but Brann was all this and greater. His +untimely death was a distinctive loss to the march of +civilization and a gain to the shams of hypocrisy which takes +now a new grip on the English language to batter down +the shackles Brann had welded about them with public opinion. + +Brann was a reformer who meant reform. He wore +his heart upon his sleeve, but would be cruel to be just. +He endured mental anguish great as was suffered in the +garden of Gethsemane. As the sweetest perfume exhales +from a crushed, blooming rose so the sweeter and nobler +sentiments welled up from the perennial spring of his +fountains of love when most bruised and racked with pain. + +I have no fear of his acceptance on the right hand up +there where men are judged by their deeds and not by +semblance of better things that a canting world may +simulate. He is in Valhalla with the other battling heroes +where the alabaster boxes of eternal love are showered +upon the halo of their brighter radiance. Brann wrote +to catch the wide world's attention that he might teach +them gentler things than feculent shocks. He was essentially +an ascetic devoted to uplifting in his own sure way. + +All the classes came trippingly to his and all the dogmas, +all the purlieus of sociology and political economy were +as an open book to him. When he soared to the sun +he never dropped into the sea from Icarian wings. His +iconoclasm was the decadence of the social cesspool and +the expurgation of money power which he believed was +the ne plus ultra of anarchy and the genius of diabolic +perfidy. He preached as he felt, tender and terrible, +loving and vehement, a strange commingling of Titanic +vulgate and cooing peace. Brann was eccentric but all +genius must have a certain leeway without being dubbed +Quixotic. He was a man whose loftiest ideality was purity +in womanhood. He adored children and was in many +respects child-like. He was as + + "The long light that shakes across the lake, + Where the cataract leaps in its glory." + +Friend Brann, through blinding mist of sympathetic +tears, I say adieu.--Geo. L. Hutchin, in the Bloomington +Eye. + +* * * +A PEN PICTURE OF BRANN + +It is hard for me to realize that Brann is dead. It seems +only yesterday night that he sat opposite me at table, +and talked of his plans and projects and spoke so hopefully, +so boyishly of the future that he was never to realize. + +For a long time I had a curiosity to see Brann, of the +ICONOCLAST. His pyrotechnic vocabulary, his strange +admixture of erudition and slang, his almost womanly +sympathy and the more than Apache ferocity with which +he pursued his enemies, the tender and poetic metaphor +that gemmed his iron prose, and the singular blending of +optimism and pessimism that characterized most of his +work suggested an anomaly that appealed to the imagination, +and I was anxious to see what Brann looked like. + +I had an opportunity when he came here to lecture. I +knew his business manager, Mr. Ward, who figured in the +dreadful duel in which he lost his life, and who was, at +that time, arranging his lecture dates. Ward is a big +Texan, over six feet high, and I suppose he weighs all +of two hundred pounds. He is a lawyer who drifted into +journalism years ago, and under a somewhat rough-and- +ready exterior there is not much trouble in finding the +gentleman and the scholar. Well, Ward introduced me to +Brann, and after a while the three of us foregathered in +a private room of a down-town cafe, and stayed there for +several hours that I remember with unmixed delight. + +Looking back at the episode, I have difficulty in framing +my impressions of the famous Texan editor. I think the +principal thing that struck me was his lack of pose and +affection. All through his talk, and he was in high spirits +and talked a great deal, there were sparks of delightful +naivete. + +"I want to pull out of the ICONOCLAST as much as I +can," he said. "And since we have made enough money +to do so, I have bought a great many outside contributions. +My idea," he continued, "is this: As long as I +wrote most everything in the publication myself it was +strictly a one-man paper; and if anything should have +happened to me it would have been worth nothing to my +wife and family. What I am trying to do now is to +organize a corps of contributors who can keep it up if I +should be taken away." + +Had he any suspicion of the prophecy that lurked in +these words? Perhaps he had; for when I suggested to +him the advisability of leaving Waco, with its petty local +dissensions and the personal dangers incident to them, he +shook his head. + +"I got together $11,000 not long ago," he said, "and +put it into a house. It is the first money worth talking +about that I ever had, and I feel that the investment ties +me, more or less, to Waco. But aside from that," he went +on to say, "I am a little afraid that the ICONOCLAST +would lose its characteristic flavor if I moved it to one +of the big Eastern cities. You will remember that that +experiment was tried with the Arkansas Traveller, which +was moved from Little Rock to Chicago, and promptly fell +flat. The same thing happened to the Texas Siftings, +when it was taken from Austin to New York. I am inclined +to believe that a publication acquires a savor of the +soil in which it springs, and it is a mighty risky business +to try to transplant it." + +He told me of Col. Gerald, who had killed the Harris +brothers only a few weeks before. "Gerald is a wonderful +old man," he said. "He is over sixty, but he is as straight +as a pine. He has a light mustache and chin beard, and +eyes the color of the blue you see in old china. He don't +know what fear is. He thinks it is some kind of a disease +like smallpox or appendicitis, and only know that he has +never had it." Between talk we ate oysters and drank a little +beer. Brann impressed me as being a very temperate man. + +The conversation drifted frequently to his plans for the +future. "I've been roasted a good deal for the go-as-you- +please style of the ICONOCLAST," he said, "and, between +ourselves, wish I could have refined its style a trifle. But +if I had done so we would never have gone over the 100,000 +mark as we did last week. However, I'm tired of it," he +said slowly, "most infernally tired. I am anxious next +year to devote myself to a higher class of work. I have +a novel about half done, and also a play, and I am very +hopeful that they may both succeed." + +It was long after midnight when we parted. He said +that he expected to be back "one of these days." + +Poor Brann! It sickens one's soul to think of the value +of such a life as his as against that of his slayer. Good +God! His little finger was worth all the Texas pot-house +politicians and Baylor University pharisees that could +be lined up between her and Orion.--O. H. S., in the +Looking Glass. + +* * * +SEMPER VIVAT IN MEMORIAM. + +Now that partisan hate has succeeded in hounding to his +death America's most eloquent champion of humanity; has +driven to the verge of insanity an adoring wife, and +thrown o'er the roseate lives of two tender, clinging +children the black pall of a sorrow that will forever embitter +their hearts, perchance it will pause; will remember the +teachings of that other "friend of humanity" who, nearly +nineteen hundred years ago, was crucified for daring to +fight what he believed to be wrong; whose religion may be +summed up in one word--"forgiveness." + +Brann's enemies were professed followers of this Christ. +With tearful eyes and uplifted, supplicating faces they +besought the God of Justice to--in the beautiful language +of the prayer left us by his Son--"lead us not into temptation" +and "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those +who trespass against us"; and the next day passed +resolutions congratulating a mob of brutal ruffians for +frightening a sick woman nearly to death, kidnaping her +defenseless husband and forcing him--under threats of +instant death--to retract what they knew to be the truth. +A few weeks later, they were "resoluting" and +"sympathizing" and formulating plans for the erection of a +monument to the memory of two would-be assassins who +were killed while attempting to carry out their cowardly +work. Oh, Christianity!--that thy cloak--pure as polar +snow--must cover such infamy! + +Brann's death blots from the firmament of American +journalism its brightest star. He was an intellectual +titan. In him was embodied the philosophy of Carlyle-- +the brilliancy of Voltaire,--the withering sarcasm of +Desmoulins--the poetry of Ingersoll. His genius, +universal as that of Shakespeare, was ever aligned on the +side of the weak and oppressed; ever, with god-like +fearlessness, he stood for Right against Might--for purity +against corruption. In church, in state, in society-- +he tore the painted mask from the face of hypocrisy and +exposed it, in all its festering hideousness, to the world's +ridicule. + +Brann has been damned as an atheist--by people who +have never read, and are incapable of reading and +understanding, a single paragraph from his pen. The author of +"Tiens ta Foi," "Charity," "Man's Immorality"--was +not an atheist. He refused to bend the knee to superstition-- +to lend a patient ear to earth's self-constituted vice- +gerents of Omniscience. But God spoke to him through +nature. The flowers he so passionately loved were +reminders of His loving tenderness; in the divine music of +Wagner, Liszt and Chopin, he recognized the voice of God. +His faith was broad as the universe--deep as infinity. +He loved purity; he hated hypocrisy; and for this he died +--a martyr. + +Inspiration comes from God. The children of genius +needs must be the favorites of Omniscience. Yet +theologians vilify Brann from the pulpit--teachers denounce +him to their pupils. For nearly ten years he has been the +target of vindictive spite--such spite as only a narrow, +bigoted mind can be capable of. This is the greatest +compliment mediocrity can pay to genius. + +Brann is dead! Still forever is the pen whose wondrous +alchemy transposed the English language--with all its +inherent harshness--into music sweet as song of Israfil. +Stilled is the heart that stood alone, defiant, a bulwark +'gainst the wave of corruption that is engulfing our land. + +Brann is dead! But when Baylor University has sunk +beneath the wave of oblivion; when the very bones of the +splenetic-hearted hypocrites--who goaded to his death +the grandest man America has ever produced--have crumbled +into the tongueless silence of the dreamless dust-- +Brann's name will live--a beacon light for those who love +truth for truth's sake. + +Brann is dead! The blow that wrung our hearts with +unavailing anguish but ushered him into the company of +Shakespeare, Carlyle, Hugo and Wagner. And there, +whether it be in the light that beats on God's great throne, +or in the serbonian darkness of a hell more horrible than +that pictured by Dante--is the true Heaven.--Abbott +Graphic. + +* * * +BRANN'S BRAVE BATTLE. + +With humble soul and heavy heart we take up our pen to +chronicle the death, yea the murder of one of the brightest +and purest noblemen that God ever created--W. C. Brann. +A few years ago he, W. H. Ward and the writer each +occupied desks, side by side, in the editorial rooms of The +Waco Morning News. There budded a friendship between +that trio that we full believe shall blossom into ripe +fraternal love on a shore as yet unknown to Mr. Ward and +the writer. Mr. Brann was editor of the ICONOCLAST, +and as its name indicates it is a smasher of idols from +Tadmor in the Wilderness to the mountains of Hepsedam. +Scorning the sensual, always against the vulgar, in much +the same manner as Carlyle, Brann stuck the gaffles of +truth deep into the sides of wrong in high places, and +exposed rottenness wherever found. With rugged English, +twisted into sentences more cutting than whips of +scorpions' tails, he stood up and fought for right as opposed +to might. He tore off the plaster of moral cancerous +ulcers, now so prolific on the body politic of the world, +and held high the treachery, the bigotry, the superstition, +the damnably dirty doings of a generation that accepts +hidebound dogmas for the ultima thule of reasoning and +truth; precept for right and in reality worships at the +shrine of exploded fables and crowns, by its own acts, the +parrot as its preceptor--lives and dies, having no desire +to do anything that somebody has not done before! Is +it any wonder that such a man as W. C. Brann should +fall a victim to such a populace? He was hounded to his +death--mobbed, spat upon, shot and murdered, by several +thousand pin-headed obstreperous patrons and followers +of a little pee-wee college, that turns young ladies out +enceinte almost yearly and hires its professors for less +salaries than a railroad brakeman gets. + +Brann's good work will live, his fame will survive and an +intellectual race yet will rise up and bless his name when +the lying epitaphs of the assassin sent to the d---- by him +shall have crumbled to earth ten thousand years. We cannot +close this faint tribute of respect to our dead friend +without acknowledging the worth of such true men as Mr. +W. H. Ward and Judge G. B. Gerald, both of whom are +able, brave, high-toned gentlemen, and both of whom came +near dying, and both were willing to die, or see that Mr. +Brann got fair play while he lived.--S. M. Scruggs, in +the Tribune. + +* * * +BRANN IS NO MORE. + +On the first of April--All Fools' Day--W. C. Brann, +of the ICONOCLAST, and T. M. Davis riddled each other +with bullets in Waco, Texas. Both of them died the +following day. The trouble between them grew out of the +attack made by Brann in his paper on the Baylor University, +a Baptist institution attended by the daughter of Davis. +At the time that Brann accused the students of the +college of immorality, he was assaulted by them, and barely +escaped lynching at their hands. He was forced to make +a retraction and was ordered to leave town. Being a +courageous man Brann refused to emigrate. + +The Irish Standard chronicles the untimely and awful +death of Mr. Brann with poignant regret, and tenders its +condolence to his afflicted family. In many ways he won +the admiration of the American people. He was a man +of great mental endowments, and in the use of invective, +often degenerating into billingsgate, he stood without a +rival in American journalism. His mind was broad and +he despised religious intolerance. As an American he +loved the stars and stripes and was opposed to an Anglo- +American alliance. He held hypocrites in supreme +contempt and lashed the pharisees unmercifully. When +Catholic priests and sisters were misrepresented by +sectarian bigots, he used his tongue and pen in their defense. +So ably did he vindicate the Catholic church from their +aspersions that many supposed him to be a Jesuit in +disguise. In the last issue of the ICONOCLAST he told a +correspondent what he thought of Mrs. Shepard and ex- +priest Chiniquy. Had Brann lived in a more civilized +community than among the bigoted Baptists of Texas, he +would have used more elegant language in his magazine +than it contained for the past few months. + +We entirely disagree with the Pioneer Press in its +characterization of the deceased journalist when it says: +"From attacking the private lives of the prominent and +successful men of every quarter of the union and +levying blackmail as the price of silence from those whose +slips or frailties his keen hyena-like appetite for filth +had enabled him to scent, it was an easy step to the most +scurrilous assaults on men and women whose only offending +lay in their uprightness and virtue." + +Brann never attacked men and women for their +"uprightness and virtue," and our St. Paul contemporary is +guilty of calumny when it says so. Every evildoer and +hypocrite feared him, while upright men and virtuous +women had a champion in him. His bitterest enemies +never accused him of being a blackmailer, and the editor +of the Pioneer Press took care he was dead before he made +the unwarrantable charge.--The Irish Standard. + +* * * +BRAVE AND BRAINY BRANN + +The killing of W. C. Brann in a duel at Waco, Texas, a +few days ago, is but a repetition of the punishment that +generally falls to newspaper men who persistently print +the truth. Brann was an intellectual giant. The rarest +accomplishments possible for a human mind to acquire +were not too intricate for him to master. His versatility +was as boundless as his originality was unique. Absolutely +fearless and utterly indifferent regarding his personal +safety, he dared to expose the charlatan and the +trickster in whatever walk of life he chanced to meet +him. Endowed with a mind that was only circumscribed +by the Infinite itself and fortified with a thorough classical +education, he held the hypocrite up to contempt and public +scorn and deservedly lashed him with the lash of sarcasm. +True, some of our erudite(?) members of the press have +presumed to pass judgment upon him; men as incapable +of rendering a just criticism of his talents as they have +found it impossible to rise to his standard of excellence. +One who is especially in love with himself has said that +had Brann been less soulless he might have been an +ornament to his trade. Trade! When men attain Brann's +intellectual standing, and they are as rare as the +intellectual sloven is numerous, the TRADE evolves into a +profession. It is indeed disheartening to see one devote his +life and his talents to truth and justice, only to be +belittled after death by those whose poverty-stricken +understandings render them incapable of half-appreciating the +man's genius, to say nothing of his nobility of purpose in +endeavoring to elevate mankind. He has been accused of +blasphemy by another who has probably been as startled +by Brann's truthful declarations as he himself would have +been had he at some time dared to commit such a rash +act. Despite these intellectual "pee-wees" Brann's +writings will live long after the surf of eternity has carried +the penny-a-liners out upon the sea of oblivion. In the +tragic death of W. C. Brann the world has lost the most +versatile pen the century has produced and it is with +sincere grief that we chronicle his sudden taking away.--The +Gilroy (Cal.) Telegram. + +* * * +BRANN, OF THE ICONOCLAST. + +W. C. Brann, the fearless editor of the ICONOCLAST, is no +more. The ICONOCLAST is published at Waco, Texas, and +was started but a few years ago by its gifted author with +no more capital than his genius and the courage of his +convictions. The ICONOCLAST assailed every form of +avarice, hypocrisy and infamy; in a few months the +publication gained a world-wide reputation and amassed for its +editor a handsome fortune because it was bought and read +by thousands of people who love truth, when boldly proclaimed, +for truth's sake. Some time ago the ICONOCLAST +laid bare the iniquities of some white-sepulchral hypocrites +having charge of a young ladies' seminary under the +auspices of a religious denomination. The pious and +lecherous scoundrels, and their ilk, who felt aggrieved by +the publication of the sensational facts, instead of resorting +to the law and proving that they had been libeled, and +vindicating themselves by the imprisonment of Brann, +resorted to mob violence, and what they lacked in courage +they supplied with numbers, and beat their helpless victim +into insensibility. In the very next issue of the +ICONOCLAST, Brann, its outraged but incomparably fearless +editor, in speaking of his cowardly assailants, used the +following defiant and sadly prophetic words: "Truth to +tell there's not one of the whole cowardly tribe who's +worth a charge of buckshot who deserve so much honor +as being sent to hell by a white man's hand! If Socrates +was poisoned, and Christ was crucified, for telling +unpalatable truths to the splenetic-hearted hypocrites of +their time, it would ill become me to complain of martyrdom +for a like offense." Brann was shot in the back by a +drunken "local" politician, who doubtless had as much +conception of morality and honor as did those whom Brann +had assailed openly and above-board in the ICONOCLAST. +Brann, though mortally wounded, turned and shot his +assassin, wounding him fatally--Brann and his assassin +have both died--one, mourned as a martyr in the cause +of truth; the other mourned by the "splenetic-hearted +hypocrites" of Waco and elsewhere.--Charleston Enterprise. + +* * * +A MARTYR TO FREE SPEECH. + +Poor Brann has fallen a martyr to Baptist bigotry. The +foul minded crowd who imported Slattery to Waco ran a +university whose iniquities Brann exposed. The deacons +of the church and the preachers combined against him and +his life was attacked again and again because he was +not afraid of telling the truth. The last attempt was +successful and his blood is on the head of the bigots of +Waco. + +We have not read in any of our "American" dailies +nor have we seen in any of our Evangelical weeklies a +condemnation of this outrage on free speech. If the +conditions had been reversed, if a Catholic had shot down +the defamer of Catholic women, the country would have +rung with denunciations of Catholic bigotry. But the +Baptist beetle-browed can for months plan the death of a +man who has exposed their hypocrisy and the assassination +is taken as one of the few "occurrences" which +diversify life in those monotonous Texas towns. + +Brann was not a Catholic. In the eyes of the majority +Baptists of Waco he was an infidel. He had no sympathy +with any creed as a creed; but as far as we can +judge he loved truth and justice and hated wrong and +hypocrisy. It was this natural feeling for right and fair +play which led him into the battle with the A.P.A., the +battle in which he perished. We believe that he acted +according to his lights, and to those who live by the law +as it is shown to them, God will not deny grace. Many a +man and woman who never saw Brann, and do not sympathize +with the extreme views he held on certain religious +matters, and might perhaps take exception to his style of +conveying his opinions, will yet because of his manly +defense of ladies slandered without cause by the vilest of the +vile, breathe a silent prayer that God may have mercy +on his soul. As long as ye did it unto these you did it +unto Me. Even a cup of cold water shall not lose its +reward.--The Monitor, San Francisco, Cal. + +EDITORIAL ETCHINGS. + +TO THE PUBLIC. + +The editorial supervision of the May ICONOCLAST has +been to me a labor of love. The stress of circumstances +under which the work has been done, is too well known for +either explanation or apology for its shortcomings. This +issue of the paper is intended as a memorial of the man +who founded it; whose genius has so long adorned its +pages, and whose personality has endeared it to so many +thousands of readers throughout the land. + W. H. WARD. + +. . . + +In the Vicksburg Dispatch of Sunday, February 13, +appeared an article from the pen of Ida Clyde Gallagher, +of Vicksburg, a very bright and gifted writer, in which +she pays a feeling tribute to the character of W. C. Brann. +The article in question has been widely read and copied. +It was written while Mr. Brann was on his Southern lecture +tour, and is peculiarly appropriate to this issue of +the ICONOCLAST. I therefore reproduce it with pleasure: + +"The development of all really great forces afford an +interesting study for the mind capable of grasping and +measuring them. The overflow of a river, the eruption +of a volcano or the devastation of a storm arouse admiration +even while they inspire terror and awaken awe. But +it is the purely human force, with its infinite variety, which +charms while it enthralls. A man born and reared, as +other men, bound by the same ties, subject to the same +laws, fettered by the same conventionalities, to throw off +the yoke of circumstances, break through the trammels of +the conventional, grapple with and overcome every obstacle +that lies in his path, until he reaches the summit of +Olympus and bodily fronts the Gods, or towers among men, +like Saul above his brethren. We may envy him, as we +ever envy the truly great, or be disposed to close his lips +in death, because he tells us unpalatable truths, yet +admire him secretly and in our hearts exalt him. We may +not confess as much while he lives and labors, but when +his lips are dumb in death, his breast pulseless, we lay our +hatred and envy in the dust at his feet, and rear in marble +a gleaming shaft to commemorate the virtues of the dead. +The name of "Brann" has inspired this homily; Brann, +of the ICONOCLAST, the man whose praises are being sung +loved by half the world, by the other half condemned, whose +whole life has been a battle and a march, who wars as did +the Titans and if he gropes blindly at times ever struggles +toward the light. This is the man who began his education +while rearing a family, and went from behind the +smokestack of a locomotive to the tripod of a daily paper. +Who in a few years has risen to dizzy heights of fame, +whose utterances are waited for and attended by more +than half a million people, many of whom he does not and +can not convert, but all of whom he impresses. A man +who is said to be an ideal husband and father, a tender, +loyal and devoted friend, yet whose entire existence is +devoted to a warfare against existing evils, bitter as death, +and uncompromising as the grave. You may not always +be right, Mr. Brann, indeed, we shrewdly suspect you are +not, but we respect you and admire you just the same, +because you attack boldly and fight fearlessly. Yes, we +admire you, and shall not wait to whisper it to your +tombstone either." + +. . . + +If the futility of brute force as an appeal to reason +required an object lesson, it might easily be found in the +fact that while the hand that wielded one pen lies +motionless in death, hundreds of others have been raised up to +fight under the same banner. + +. . . + +Several months ago a number of the students of the +Baylor University, acting without regard for the laws of +either God or man, attempted to mob the editor of the +ICONOCLAST in an effort to bridle his pen. The hand +which they sought to restrain has now been enjoined by a +court whose order is irrevocable. In every state in the +union men have come forward to take up a fight which +Brann himself considered ended, and the object is +accomplished. In reproducing tributes to the memory of the +dead editor I have felt it my duty in several instances to +blue-pencil certain passages which might have been +considered as reflecting upon those who are innocent and +unoffending. The moral here needs no pointing. + +. . . + +To his readers and admirers, who have uniformly +expressed regret over the death of her husband, Mrs. W. C. +Brann desires to return a woman's thanks for the kindly +sympathy extended. + +* * * +SIMPLE STATEMENT OF FACTS. + +BY W. H. WARD. + +Concerning the tragedy of April 1, in which W. C. Brann +lost his life and I, myself, was slightly wounded, as a +sensational event, enough and more than enough, has +already been said in the daily press. I should not have +mentioned the matter here at all, but I know the readers +of the ICONOCLAST will expect a statement of the facts. I +therefore give a subjoined account of the affair from the +Independent Pulpit, published in Waco by J. D. Shaw. +Mr. Shaw is well known to the people of Texas. There is +not a man in the state who will doubt that his account of +the tragedy is in absolute accord with truth and justice. +In the extract referred to Mr. Shaw says: + +LET THE PLAIN TRUTH BE TOLD. + +The lateness of this Pulpit affords me an opportunity to +correct some false impressions with regard to the recent +tragedy in which W. C. Brann lost his life. + +That there should have been some errors of view among +bystanders as to the various incidents in that deadly conflict +is not surprising, and of these, trifling in their nature, +I will not here write. + +The idea that Brann was seeking a difficulty with Davis +is certainly false. He had made his arrangements to go +on a lecturing tour, had spent the day at his home, went to +town about 4 o'clock that afternoon to get a shave, and +on his return walked with his business manager, Mr. +W. H. Ward, by the office in which Davis was sitting. +Having passed the office a few steps, Davis stepped out +and shot him in the back. This was the shot that killed +him, and it was after receiving it that he turned, drew his +revolver and opened fire upon his assailant. + +Now as to Mr. Ward: He left Brann's house some time +after Brann did, had joined the latter a few minutes before +the firing, and was at the time walking by his side. When +Davis fired, Ward jumped at him in an attempt to get +his, Davis' pistol, caught hold of it over the muzzle and +was shot through the hand. Ward was unarmed, having +left his revolver in a grip at Mr. Brann's house. His +hands were gloved and he had no idea of a difficulty at +the time. + +I state these facts not through any feeling of prejudice, +having never been mixed up in the Brann-Baylor trouble, +but solely in the interest of the truth. I can understand +how an excited observer, seeing Mr. Ward extend his +hand to get Davis' pistol and seeing immediately the fire +of the same, might have thought that Ward did the shooting, +and it was this mistake that caused his arrest.-- +Independent Pulpit. + + +To this I will only add, that neither Mr. Brann nor +myself were in the slightest anticipation of trouble. He +left home, having the boy to drive him down in his buggy, +shortly before 4 o'clock on the afternoon of the tragedy. +I awaited his return to drive to the train to meet my +brother, whom I was expecting with a party of friends that +evening. At 20 minutes to 6 o'clock he had not returned +and I took the first car down, as several ladies who chanced +to be at Mr. Brann's home will testify. I left the car at +Fourth and Austin streets at about 6 o'clock, walked to +Herz Bros., gave an order for some books, and met Mr. +John Guerin, walked with him toward the depot, met Mr. +Brann at the corner of Fourth street and Bankers' alley, +chatted with him for a moment, when Mr. Guerin walked +on, and Mr. Brann and myself crossed the street and +walked towards Austin avenue. We had passed the place, +where I afterwards learned Davis' office was located, about +ten paces, when Davis came out and opened fire from the +rear. His opening fire was the first warning of the trouble. +We were walking side by side, conversing together, when +the first shot was fired. That shot entered Mr. Brann's +back, and caused his death. I will add, that I was +unarmed, and had not removed my driving gloves, which were +taken off when my wound was dressed, and had been with +Mr. Brann not more than three minutes when the shooting +occurred. These are the facts, as substantiated by the +signed statement of over a score of eye-witnesses, the same +now being in the hands of my attorneys, Messrs. Baker & +Ross, and C. R. Sparks. I do not wish to speak ill of the +dead, therefore I shall have but little to say of Mr. Davis. +My acquaintance with him was brief; I never met him but +once--when he was shooting another man, IN THE BACK. + +* * * + +Reference has been made by Judge Gerald to the pathetic +tragedy in Brann's life because of the loss of his daughter. +The burden of sorrow which he bore is beautifully revealed: +in the following account of that tragedy which was written +by Brann. + +THE LAST LESSON. + + "Is there no stoning save with flint and rock? + Yes, as the dead we weep for testify-- + No desolation but by sword and fire? + Yes, as your moanings witness, and myself + Am lonelier, darker, earthier for my loss." + +Poor in gold and goods yet richer than fancy ever +fabled in home and happiness, the young father toiled +and hoarded his scant wage; the little mother denied +herself a thousand things that women covet, and they said: +"It is for her, our Inez, our fairy queen. Her feet shall +find no thorns in life's path; a father's strength a +mother's love shall fill it with sweetest flowers." + +Beautiful to their eyes, and other eyes, was she, as +Grecian sculptor's dream and still more beautiful when +childhood's early years flashed by and the bud was bursting +into womanhood's glorious bloom. No crowned empress +so imperial seemed, yet pride so womanly and softened +by such grace that each and all yielded sweet allegiance +to her sway. + +And they would sit and watch her at her books or play, +drinking with greedy ear her admiring teacher's oft-told +tale of triumphs won in classroom or on the green, and +watched her comrades,--loving subjects they--weave +crowns of flowers for her fair brow and hail her queen. + +And so the days went by, toilsome yet happy days until, +when scarce passed to her 'teens, the youthful swains +began to sigh for her and bashful cast their tribute of +flowers--such as they knew she loved--into the open door, +then blushingly retreat, fearing cold comfort from her +imperious eyes. And one there was of her own age, who +seemed to haunt the street, until the mother noticed it +and said: + +"Daughter, what does he ever near the house?" + +And the father fretted and spoke harshly of the boy, +and sharply to his child saying: "You do encourage the +little fool to haunt the place. Speak to him no more." +And the daughter made reply: + +"Father, I never spoke to him, nor he to me." And +she arose, and taking her music roll went forth and the +boy followed her. + +"Our daughter deceives us!" cried the father fierce +with rage; and he followed the twain. + +"You have deceived me, Daughter!" + +His voice was sharp, and, quailing before his wrath as +though it were a blow, she gasped, "Oh, Father!" and +returned with him in silence to their home. + +And the little mother fretted and lectured her; but she +sat silent, brooding upon the great wrong, and the queenly +eyes were full of tears that seemed frozen by her pride +and could not fall. + +They never fell. The gust of anger from the doting +father's lips, the breath of doubt of her dear word, and +her little heart seemed broken quite; the world seemed +desolate. The father's good-night kiss; the mother's +tender solicitude were in vain,--the wound was too deep to +heal. And while they slept and dreamed sweet dreams of +her fair future she poured her heart out to the good God, +who never doubted her, and leaving a little note that was +a wailing cry of hopeless pain, passed by her own fair +hand to the great beyond. + +And the father kissed the dead lips of his first born +and knew that he had killed her. And ever in his heart +there is a cry, "I killed her!" And night and day that +cold, sweet face doth haunt him; and day and night he +hears that piteous cry, wrung from his child when he +broke her heart, "Oh, Father!" and ever the little mother's +lamentation goes up to heaven, "Our house is left unto us +desolate!" + + +SALMAGUNDI. + +There is a class of men who take especial delight in pistol +practice--when the "other fellow" furnishes the target. +They shut their eyes and literally feel what is going on +--see pistols flashing, as the man, with a well-developed +Texas "jag," sees keyholes in the door at 3 o'clock A.M. +--just legions of them. As a matter of fact when pistols +are really cracking, powder actually burning and bullets +sweetly singing "Nearer my God to Thee," these are +the first to seek the sheltering arms of a two-foot wall-- +"most any old wall," so it won't leak lead. + +. . . + +I wish to call attention of the readers of the ICONOCLAST +to the pack of journalistic jackals who are raising their +illfamous howl over the body of Brann. As usual, when +the lion is dead the hyena comes forth for a feast. Life +is too short and the game too mean to justify individual +firing, so I will take a pot-shot at the pock; these animals +are so much alike in tastes, character and habits that one +will typify all. I therefore call attention to "Majah" +Burbanks of the New Orleans Picayune. The state +Constitutional Convention has eliminated the negro from +Louisiana politics. Had that body also placed journalism +under the color ban they would have disposed of the +"Majah" most effectively, and, I might add, to the entire +satisfaction of all concerned; unless, indeed, the coons +had objected to their company. So help me God, I would +rather be a yellow dog, with an abbreviated narrative, +and belong to a disreputable negro, than go around with +my cowardly heart in my throat, fearing to look a man in +the face while alive, then mercilessly assail his character +after death. Bah! the mere existence of such creatures +revolutionizes Darwin's theory--argues the survival of +the unfittest. + +. . . + +It is well for the public to understand that the murder +of W. C. Brann did not remove all of the abuses from +which this country suffers, and the frauds and fakes which +prey upon it. Assassination may shatter an instrument, +but it cannot conquer a cause. There is still work for +the iconoclast to do, and it will be done. It will continue +to place its brand upon the forehead of the seducer, the +whining hypocrite, the sniveling rogue, the confidence man, +the fakir and the fool. It is proposed to show this country +that the pistol is unconvincing as an argument and +useless as a brake upon reform. Brann is dead; but there +are men alive who lack his phenomenal ability, perhaps, +but who share his deathless hatred of the rotten in morals +and in politics. The mission for the ICONOCLAST is +unchanged and unended. Its field is its own. It will be +filled. + +. . . + +The man who seeks the American spirit must look for it +in the South and West. He will not find it in the East. +That part of our common country is inhabited by a nation +of shopkeepers as distinct from the peoples of the other +sections as the lion is distinct from the jackal. They are +smooth-faced, snub-nosed rogues, tied to the counter and +till, dollar-marked niederlings of the department stores, +jack rabbits of wall street, coyotes of the boards of trade. +If every man who has traded upon the distress of his +country and the peril of his kinsfolk were to be shot this +morning, the air of the North Atlantic states would be +heavy with powder smoke. From that well kept and wearisome +prostitute and buffoon, Chauncey Depew, down to the +smallest operator of a bucket-shop, they are all tarred +with the same brush--things in trousers who would sell +their souls for coin. They own the President of this +country, and they own many of the congressmen, having +bought and paid for them. + +. . . + +America, I suppose, is as religious as its neighbors, but +it is for the dollar first and for Christ afterward. Easter +is a period devoted to commemoration of the saddest and +noblest event in human history, the highest and most +important event. It is used by thousands of our merchants, +however, as a time specially devoted to making money. +From the manufacturer of "Easter cards," to the maker +of hot cross buns, the signs and symbols of religion are +made the means of chasing the nimble 10-cent piece. The +cross is the hall mark of printed sentiment, to be sold for +a quarter, and the crucifixion is done over and over again +in gingerbread. The ICONOCLAST may not get to heaven +by the Baptist route or the Methodist route, or by any +one of the thousand routes which "Christians" have been +pleased to blaze out for sinners in the centuries since Christ +died, but it is a long way above that kind of impiety-- +sacrilege is a better word for it. + +. . . + +How does the Republican party--the party of gold +--look now, from fat Tom Reed at its head down to +"Nancy" Green, son of Hetty Green, at its tail? Is it +the party of patriotism? May it be trusted to uphold +the honor of the nation? Is it honest? Is it even decent? +Nay. I say that nine out of every ten Republican +congressmen who voted for the intervention resolutions did +so because they were driven to it by fear of outraged +citizens, Democrats and Republicans alike, not because they +were patriots. I say that the representatives of the +Republican party are bound hand and foot to the millionaires +of America. I say that the leaders of that party +are without principle. The polls next November will +show what the honest money and honest patriotism people +of the nation think of the Republican party. + +. . . + +From the time that Fitzhugh Lee reached Washington +the myrmidons of William McKinley sought to detract +from his services to the country and to belittle his rugged +patriotism and love of truth. The popinjay in the White +House could not bear to listen to the roar of welcome that +greeted him as he stepped from the train. It was like +the oleaginous Ohio poltroon to inspire detraction of one +who is his official inferior, and his superior in everything +that goes to make a man. The Virginian is not intellectually +great. He is plain of speech and manner. But he +has carried high the unstained banner of the lees. He +has stood to his post in the face of danger. He has bearded +the traitorous Spaniard in his stronghold. He has +demonstrated once that God never made a more courageous +animal than the Southern gentleman. Beside such a +man, the purchasable McKinleys and gross scoundrelly +Hannas of the nation are dwarfs. + +. . . + +Dr. Dowie, of the Chicago "Zion," a place where faith +cure fools who have cirrhosis of the liver are allowed to +die for a consideration, has written a circular and sent +out a million or two of copies. He wants every adult +person in the United States to send him 50 cents, so that +he can have money to send out more literature with which +to catch more fools. The people of Chicago can confer +a favor upon themselves and humanity at large by taking +Dowie five miles out into Lake Michigan, tying three +hundred pounds of scrap iron to his heels and dumping him +overboard. + +. . . + +Mrs. Henrotin, president of the Federation of Women's +Clubs, has telegraphed McKinley from Chicago that she, +as the representative of that influential band of hens, +cordially and heartily indorses everything he has ever +done or thought of doing. It is proper to say that Mrs. +Henrotin no more represents her sisters than I represent +the W. C. T. U. She is only another instance of the +modern highly developed female, eaten by an itch for +writing and getting her name into the newspapers. The +mothers, sisters, wives, daughters and sweethearts of +America no more indorse William McKinley than they +indorse any other coward. The women of the federated +clubs are much like other women when they stop playing +upon the ink bottle and begin playing upon the cook- +stove. They have taken off Mrs. Henrotin's back hair, +and she now eats her meals from the mantelpiece. All of +which is proper. + +. . . + +Little Jimmy Eckles, Cleveland's undersized underling, +got some handclaps and whoops from the Chicago Credit +Men's Association when he addressed the members at the +Grand Pacific Hotel on the night of April 12th. He talked +about the business men's longing for war when the country +is insulted, and these snipes and jack bailiffs of the big +mercantile houses, warmed into drunken courage by gallons +of cheap wine, yelped in unison. This auriferous +insect, who was for four years comptroller of the currency, +is remembered in Washington chiefly for a remarkable +burst of speed displayed one night when his timorous +mind conceived the idea that a somnolent hackman was +going to rob him. He had his dress suit case in one +hand and his plug hat in the other, and he covered three +blocks in ten seconds. The cabby, whom he had hired, +waked in time to discover the meteoric dash, and was the +most puzzled man in the capital. Eckles is a warrior, +and his credit giving, or refusing, listeners are all warriors. + +. . . + +J. Guy Smith, of Cotulla, was locally called, so I am +informed, "Brann No. 2." Like most other men, he was +far behind W. C. Brann in wealth of intellect, in largeness +of heart, in charity, in his hatred of wrong and the +oppressor. It appears, however, that he had the habit of +speaking his mind and he was shot for it. Also that he +was shot in the back. + +. . . + +Joe Leiter, the wheat speculator of Chicago, is followed +about all day by detectives whom he has hired to protect +him. I do not know if anyone contemplates giving him +his deserts, but since he has used his inherited millions +to make bread dearer in thousands of poor mouths, he +should be whipped twice a day for a month. Under a +properly constituted and administered government, Leiter +and his kind would be sent to the penitentiary at hard +labor. He is as much a robber as any brigand of the +Italian passes, and as much of a thief as any pickpocket +in America. + +. . . + +A great many people imagine that "your Uncle Sam" +will frazzle hell's bells out of Spain in one word and two +motions, that all of this preparation for threatened +conflict with Spain is much ado about little; that the United +States will get up early some morning and administer the +paternal slipper to the Spanish pantaloon, simply by way +of diversion or to get up an appetite for breakfast. The +result of the scrap may show that the job had best be +undertaken after a square meal. + +. . . + +As the war is not yet on I rise to remark that it is my +sincere wish that those who have lost a scrap may find it +--that those who have clamored so hard and so long for +hostilities to begin, may find standing room only in the +theater of war, and be given positions in the full glare +of the footlight, with a corporal's guard behind them, to +see that they do not strike a retrograde motion when the +curtain rises on the first act. + +[This completes the last issue of the ICONOCLAST. The +publication of the paper was not continued, though evidently +this was intended when the May issue was printed. +The following articles were written shortly after the death +of Brann but did not appear in the ICONOCLAST.] + + +THE DEATH OF BRANN. + +BY WILLIAM MARION REEDY. + +Mr. Brann, who was killed in Waco last Friday, was a +much greater man than even his admirers knew. He had +many virtues which, in a way, his peculiar tactics in +journalism belied. For instance, his paper was read, for +the most part, by people who took a delight in his calling +a spade a spade, and, in fact, in his seeking out spades to +write about. This was not the true Brann at all. The +man was clean-minded in his conversation. He thought +cleanly. He lived cleanly as a gentleman should, though +he did not leave off sack. He was not a brawling, boisterous +ruffian, reveling in the slums. He was essentially +a family man and a student who "scorned delights and +lived laborious days." His regard for the purity of +women amounted almost to a monomania, and he lived up +to his own preachment on all the various forms of integrity +with much more strictness than people who affected +to believe he was leper. Furthermore the man was an +ascetic in his essential spirit. He had the true taste for +the finely done thing in letters and if he did not devote +himself to what might be called the more refined literary +artistry, it was because he felt that there was danger +of drawing too fine the lessons he thought it his duty to +impart. There was no use, he said, in writing to the +few. One should write so that all might read, running. +He maintained that the way to instill principles in the +people was to secure their attention first, and he did not +hesitate to secure their attention by any device that seemed +available. Therefore he felt himself justified in appealing +to the lower instincts in men in order that, while they were +all unsuspecting, he might inculcate something better. +And so there ran through his publication the strangest +contrasts of sweetness and salacity, of eloquence and +bombast, of purity and pornography, of jewel-phrases and +gutter slang, excerpts of enthralling poetry and brothel +billingsgate. He pointed his morals with putridity and +he adorned his really beautiful style with barbarities and +banalities which make one shudder. He set his fine +thoughts like jewels in compost. He ravished the classics +to mix them up with sentences that stunk of the stews. +The man seemed to indulge in special flights of poesy with +no other purpose than to achieve a disgusting anti-climax +of muckery and mockery. The person who read Brann +intelligently was impressed most by this habit of irony in +the Waconian. It was of the essence of his iconoclasm. +He had something in his effects in this line that was +piteous. There was no denying his appreciation of the pure +air, of the beautiful in life and nature, of the truth +as thinkers see and feel it. It seemed to me that when +he had soared up towards the ever vanishing ideal, he +reached a point whereat he turned in disgust and hurled +himself madly back to the dungiest part of this dungy +earth. There was a mighty dissatisfaction, even a despair, +in Brann, and a touch of sadness in his writing as in his +face. The more I read of his deliberate pandering to the +literarily excrementitious appetite, the more I saw, or +thought I saw, that he was afflicted with a mighty ennui, +and was chiefly trying to escape from his own torture as +one who knew not whether solace was to be found either +in the spiritual or the earthly nature of man. Such a +one as he might have been expected to take up any cause +that assailed the existing condition of things politically +and sociologically. While he was an ascetic his asceticism +was only a wreaking of his own bitterness upon himself. +He was a man in whom strong emotions were easily excited +and he put into his writing all the passion which he +suppressed in his dealings with his fellows socially. He never +felt malice towards people whom he assailed most +maliciously. He saw them simply as representatives of some +fault in our social or political system, and he felt that he +was doing his duty by his own conception of what the +world should be, by pillorying them as object lessons of +characters to be eliminated in his good time coming. When +he saw a foul wrong he saw it personified in some man or +woman. Then he went abroad in search of foul things to +say about it. And he found them and he hurled them at +the object, and he polluted the atmosphere for a mile +around. When he wrote about the abstractions of poetry +and philosophy he wrote with a sweeping, swinging rhythm +that thrilled anyone. He was master of the diapason. +His ear was not attuned particularly to minor chords. +He loved cyclonic clashes of words and he would strike out +fecal flashes to illuminate them. His correggiosity was +at times overpowering. His vocabulary overcame him +often, bore him away from his thought and landed him in +some swamp out of which he was wont to extricate himself, +to the great delight of the semi-educated reader by some +quip or quirk equally meretricious and mephitic. Thus +would he, metaphorically, throw filth at himself. He felt +all the time that he was pursuing the best course, bending +things he despised and loathed to better purposes. Mr. +Brann believed that the country was, if not in itself +decadent and degenerate, under the control of decadent, +degenerate and depraved men. He believed that society +was a social cesspool. He thought that most religion was +hypocrisy. He believed that most wealth represented +nothing more than the superior and diabolic genius of +dishonesty. So believing he so preached and he preached with +a vehemence that was in a sense vicious. His terribly +irony made his work an engine of anarchy. Not that he +meant anarchy at all, but because the people who were +caught by his banalities could not differentiate sufficiently +to extract the core of truth from the great superstructure +of extravagances with which he hid it. Mr. Brann meant +only to lift the world up, and one of his queer conceptions +was, that his own dragging down of things pure to the +lowest levels of life and thought and feeling was calculated +to make his multitudinous clientele look upward. He +was mistaken. He came to know it, too, for he said to +me one evening, "I am only a fad." "I'll pass away when +my vogue is done, like brick pomeroy." He wished he +could believe that the best way to help people up was to +take a stand and view a little above them. He said, when +it was suggested that he try this tack, that he feared it +was too late. Not that he wholly abandoned his belief +in his own plan, but it seemed to me that he felt sorry that +once attention could be attracted by being shocking it +could only be held by a continuance of the shocks. + +. . . + +In my personal dealings with Mr. Brann I found him a +person of almost feminine fineness. It was amusing to +meet him after some particularly atrocious issue of the +ICONOCLAST, either personally or by letter, and have him +"roar as gently as a sucking dove." In such moods he +revealed a character that was really sweet--though I must +apologize for that misused word. He was impressed with +the pity of life. He loved to toy intellectually with +subtleties of thought. He had intuitions in art and poetry, +and music touched him truly and deeply. I never have seen +such a gentle man with women and his estimate of woman, +either in conversation or writing, was a high and noble one. +If at times he wrote so that his conception of virtuous +womanhood was unpleasantly associated with ideas that +revolted you, it was his peculiar belief that purity was all +the purer for the contrast and antithesis. He loved +children, too, and in his more familiar moods, according +to his intimates, he was like one whose heart was as a little +child. He cared no more for money after he began to +make it than he cared in his bohemian days when he was +readier to give than to take. He loved his friends blindly. +He did not hate his enemies, he despised them. He had +all the manly virtues, courage, generosity, modesty. Yes, +modesty; for egoism such as he had was not foolish pride. +His egotism was only his own force asserting itself. His +friendship was almost foolish. He praised too generously. +He was inclined to help everybody he could and I am sure +that he never assailed anyone or anything that did not +represent to him uncharity and snobbery. He was not +envious. His mind was on the Texas scale; he knew no +meanness. His was Kentucky origin and he was tainted +with Kentucky's quixotism. He loved liberty and he +loved love. He was the friend of the people as he dreamed +they should be. He was the advocate of the greatest +enlargement of rights. With little of what he strove for in +immediate political issues did I sympathize. He believed +more in what is called socialism than I do, but he believed +it most earnestly. He was the greatest force in this +country, with his 80,000 issues of his magazine per month, +for all the things that go with free silver. His following +included all the thinking followers of Bryan and his work +had no little effect, in its powerful music and color, upon +many people to whom Bryanism represented the political +abomination of desolation. + +. . . + +As to the manner of Mr. Brann's death there is only to +be said that he expected it. He judged from the characters +of those he attacked, that they would assassinate +him. He died as he expected to die, without any cringing +to his enemies. Some people he attacked who did not +deserve his vitriolic attentions, but he thought they did. In +the main he scourged and sacrificed only those who deserved. +The manner in which he was killed and the cause in which +he was killed--the cause of an institution in which a girl +was debauched in the name of Christ and turned out of +doors to starve to the glory of religion--glorify him. He +who fought in the open was shot by a sneak from behind. +The sneak himself was shot in his act of cowardice. Mr. +Brann was brilliant and brave. He partook of the qualities +of the men who immortalized the Alamo. He was the +first man who identified Texas with thought. He loved +Texas so well that he defended the code of private and +public mobbery for righting wrongs. To that cruel +coward code he fell a victim. With all his faults as I see +them, I can think of him only as worthy of being buried +in some high place, to the strains of Sigfried's Funeral +March, and can only say, with Browning of the dead +"grammarian"-- + + Here, here's his place, where meteors shoot, clouds form, + lightnings are loosened + Stars come and go! Let joy break with the storm, + peace let the day send! + Lofty designs must close in life effects: + loftily lying, + Leave him--still loftier than the world suspects, + living and dying. + --The Mirror for April 7, 1898. + +PRIVATE VENGEANCE. + +A CONSIDERATION OF ALLEGED CHIVALRY. + +Some person has sent me a marked copy of the New +Orleans Picayune, the marked matter being an editorial +substantially approving the manner of the taking off of +Mr. Brann, the editor of the Iconoclast. + +Granted that, as the Picayune declares, Mr. Brann +wantonly attacked spotless reputation, that decency and +purity were not sacred to him--an assumption, by the +way, that is a rank injustice to Mr. Brann's memory-- +let us see about this matter of private vengeance which +the Picayune approves. + +Are there not laws in all the states against libel? Are +there not laws against publishing obscene and defamatory +matter? If there be, then what justification can there be +for private vengeance? What is the use of laws if men +on any provocation may set aside those laws and set +themselves above them and execute the person who may +have offended, or who may be imagined to have offended +them? If private vengeance is to prevail what is to +prevent any person construing any criticism into a mortal +offense and assassinating the critic, even though the critic +be palpably and undeniably criticizing for the public +good? When the individual is made the judge, jury and +executioner of whomsoever displeases him, what becomes +of law, of order, of civilization? There is not a day in +the year that one could not justify the murder of a +hundred editors, if the rightfulness of the killing were +determinable solely by what the killers thought of the +criticisms against them in the papers controlled by those +one hundred editors. + +If we can tolerate a state of society in which any man, +for what seems to him good and sufficient reason, for +anything from biting the thumb at him to jesting about +his whiskers, may take the life of another, why shall we +not tolerate the man who will take another's property +because the taker deems the other has too much or has +unjustly accumulated what he has? + +What is the result of this sanction of private vengeance? +It is anarchy. Pursued to the ultimate of its logic it +means that every man is a law unto himself and the justice +of an execution rests upon nothing but the opinion, or +delusion, of the executioner. What one man might call a +trifle might, to another man, call for blood. You could +kill a man because his boots creaked or his eyes squinted or +he wore the wrong shade of your favorite color in his +necktie. Ridiculous? Not at all. Liking or disliking any +of these trifling things is only a matter of personal +preference. They may be as distasteful to one person as the +tone of an editorial is to another. If a man may rightly +kill a writer, like Mr. Brann, why would it not be right for +someone to kill any editor? At one time there was talk +in the south of killing the late Joseph B. McCullagh for +his editorials. How if Senator Hanna were to "go gunning" +for the editorial "roasters" of himself, or for +the malevolent cartoonist? Mr. Brann attacked hypocritic +preachers, snide politicians, shoddy society people, +shyster lawyers. He did it in, to me, an exaggerated +manner, but he felt that such manner was necessary to arouse +the people. Were Brann's blasts against Baylor University +intrinsically worse, more a license of the press than +let us say the assaults of the New York World, the New +York Journal or the Post Dispatch upon Pierpont Morgan +and the trusts? And yet, if any trust magnate, crucified +as a blood-sucker on the poor, were to shoot the editor +of one of these sheets, he would be howled to the hangman's +noose. The trust magnate would be told he should have +had recourse to law. But in the south, no--Mr. Brann +was rightfully assassinated. No law for him! Why? +Because Mr. Brann assailed a few southern "josses." If +Mr. Brann were justly slain then the next person who +may dislike an editorial in the Picayune may kill its editor +on the ground that the editorial--no matter how trifling +in its imputation--is "carrion journalism." This law of +chivalric private vengeance would justify a saturnalia +of murder in every large city where gossip circulates in +society. The chivalry of it! A man has written something +he deems to be true and comments upon it as he +deems it his duty in a quasi public capacity. Everyone +who does not like the article can "take a pop at him." +But, says the chivalrous Picayune, the law of private +vengeance does not apply to anything save grave offenses +in scurrility. Ah! The offensiveness of a criticism is +only a matter of individual capacity for pain or humiliation. +The trifle is only a trifle, because a man thinks +it so. It may become a thing of importance at any time +if you leave the decision of its importance solely to the +judgment of the man who is going to resent it. + +Private vengeance makes for the creation of a caste +of bulldozers. Let it become known in a community that +criticism is an invitation to death, and who profit? Not +the men of spotless reputation. Not the decent and pure +elements of the community. Not at all. The ruffian gang +in politics profits. The sanctimonious crooks profit. The +seducer and betrayer, who is a dead-shot, profits. Every +social and civic iniquity flourishes under this dominance of +the law of private vengeance. All the people who deserve +criticism are ready to shoot. They are the judges of their +own spotless reputations. They will kill the man who spots +it. So it is that in almost every southern city there has +grown up a class of political brahmins absolutely secure +from criticism that counts. Take New Orleans. The +papers feared for years to breathe a breath of attack +against the "spotless reputations" of its leaders. The +story of the corruption that developed is too well known +to require telling. After all, it is not the people of +spotless reputation who are assailed in the papers. Whenever +anyone is assailed the chances are there is ground for the +assault, and there is at least a prima facie evidence that +attack or exposure is necessary in the interest of public +morality. Any reputation would be spotless if no one +dared attack it. If it were high crime to assail people +vigorously how would dishonor, debauchery, fraud and +crime in high places ever be brought to light. If the +right of private vengeance shall prevail in any community +then the ruffians and blackguards may pursue their +nefarious ends unhampered because of the terror they +inspire by threats to shoot their critics. This recognition +of the right of the individual to punish, by the infliction +of death, the person who has injured him, puts the +community at the mercy of the worst elements in it. It is +the extension of the barbarism of lynch law. It makes +every man, who wants to be one, a mob. It develops the +idea of savagery in revenge to such an extent that the +individual executioner of the offender against himself does +not hesitate to wreak his vengeance from behind. It +promotes assassination. + +Aspersions upon the virtue of women are certainly +indefensible on any imaginable ground. They demand +often a punishment which the law is inadequate to provide. +They cannot be ignored. They constitute the +exceptions which confirm the rule that it is well to let +the law punish slanderers. And in general men are +expected to protect to the last extremity the reputations of +the women of their family and their acquaintance. The +person who attacks publicly or privately the virtue of a +woman deserves the limit of vengeance, for the publicity +of legal proceedings toward punishment only aggravates +the original wrong. Mr. Brann did not attack the virtue +of girl-students at Baylor University. He attacked the +administration of that institution and the killing of him +was the result of a distorted view of the trend of his +criticisms. If it were believed that he assailed the virtue +of girl-students at Baylor he would not have a single +mourner in the southwest. And no man in any part of +the United States can have a following of respectable +people, if he defames women. The feeling of reverence +for woman is so general that it is often a defense for +personal violence against writers who never dream of +attacking feminine honor. Aside from the fact that death +is too light a punishment for the man who attacks womanly +chastity, the law of private vengeance is not sweepingly +and invariably to be condemned. I am not liberal enough in +recognition of the great fact of human nature to admit +that the objection to private vengeance is mainly an +objection to the recognition of the right of individual execution +of the death penalty for any criticism. Men ought not to +be shot for criticisms of public institutions. It would be +foolish to argue against the fact that men occasionally feel +called upon to resent criticism by an appeal to battle +without weapons. The killing of critics at the whim of the +criticized is the evil against which protest is made. Plain +assault and battery is easily defensible on the ground that +no one can be expected always to have his temper in control. +It makes writers careful, and it is not followed by +the regret which follows killing. Writers are expected to +keep within bounds in their criticisms, and even then they +are certain to generate ill feeling in the criticized and their +friends, but so long as the offense is not murderous of +reputation and mortally malevolent the private execution +of writers is an offense not to be condoned on a mistaken +interpretation of chivalry. For all sins of journalistic +criticism, outside of the diabolism of blasting reputations +for virtue, the law provides adequate remedy, and if it +does not, then it were idle to say that the exasperated +victims of criticism should not have recourse to their fists, +although decent criticism, free from malice, addressed to +people in position semi-public would not seem to call for +violence under pretense of resenting something much worse. +As a rule I should say that the criticism which does not +call for extreme and desperate punishment calls for no +notice at all, or if it does, in the case of men, there are +laws, civil and criminal, that cover the case, with ample +punishment for the offense. This is the practical view of +the remedies against "carrion journalism." + +A public sentiment strong enough to support private +vengeance is strong enough to support the law. There +are laws for the punishment of slander. More rigorous +laws could be enforced. If the people hate slanderers +bitterly enough to kill them, then they should hate them +enough to see that the laws against slander are enforced. +The moral sentiment that can sustain the one could sustain +the other. But the individual execution of vengeance +is a turning away from the law. It is the fostering of the +bully and the killer for drunken pastime. It is a bulwark +for boodlers, blackguards, frauds and lechers. It gives +rein to individual passion without limit. Such chivalry is +barbarism.--Pasquin. + +BRANN, THE FOOL. + +BY ELBERT HUBBARD, EDITOR OF THE PHILISTINE. + +It's a grave subject. Brann is dead. Brann was a +fool. The fools were the wisest men at court; and +Shakespeare, who dearly loved a fool, placed his wisest +sayings into the mouths of men who wore the motley. +When he adorned a man with a cap and bells it was as +though he had given bonds for both that man's humanity +and intelligence. Neither Shakespeare nor any other +writer of books ever dared to depart so violently from +truth as to picture a fool whose heart was filled with +perfidy. + +The fool is not malicious. Stupid people may think +he is, because his language is charged with the lightning's +flash; but they are the people who do not know the +difference between an incubator and an egg plant. + +Touchstone, with unfailing loyalty, follows his master +with quip and quirk, into exile. When all, even his +daughters, have forsaken King Lear, the fool bares himself +to the storm and covers the shaking old man with his +own cloak. And when in our own day we meet the avatars +of Trinculo, Costard, Mercutio and Jacques, we find they +are men of tender susceptibilities, generous hearts and +intellects keen as a rapier's point. + +Brann was a fool. + +Brann shook his cap, flourished his bauble, gave a toss +to that fine head, and with tongue in cheek, asked +questions and propounded conundrums that stupid hypocrisy +could not answer. So they killed Brann. + +. . . + +Brann was born in obscurity. Very early he was cast +upon the rocks and nourished at the she-wolf's teat. + +He graduated at the university of hard knocks and +during his short life took several post-graduate courses. + +He had been wage-earner, printer's-devil, printer, +pressman, editor. + +He knew the world of men, the struggling, sorrowing, +hoping, laughing, sinning world of men. And to those +whom God had tempted beyond what they could bear, his +heart went out. He read books with profit, and got great +panoramic views out into the world of art and poetry; +dreaming dreams and sending his swaying filament of +thought out and out, hoping it would somewhere catch and +he would be in communication with another world. + +Discreet and cautious little men are known by the +company they keep. The fool was not particular about his +associates; children, sick people, insane folks, rich or poor +--it made no difference to him. He sometimes even sat at +meat with publicans and sinners. + +He was a mystic and lived in the ideal. This deeply +religious quality in his nature led him into theology, and +he became a clergyman--a Baptist clergyman. + +But no church is large enough to hold such a man as +this; the fool quality in his nature outcrops, and the jingle +of bells makes sleep to the chief pew-holder impossible. + +So the fool had to go. + +Then he founded that unique periodical, which, in +three years, attained a circulation of 90,000 copies. This +paper was not used for pantry shelves, lamp lighters, or +other base utilitarian purposes. It cost ten times as much +as a common newspaper, and the people who bought it +read it until it was worn out. All the things in this paper +were not truth; mixed up amid a world of wit were often +extravagance and much bad taste. It was only a fool's +newspaper! + +In this periodical the fool railed and jeered and stated +facts about smirking complacency, facts so terrible that +folks said they were indecent. He flung his jibes at stupidity, +and stupidity sought to answer criticism by assassination. + +Texas has a libel law patterned after the libel law of +the State of New York. If a man takes from you your +good name you can put him behind prison bars and place +shutters over the windows of his place of business. + +The people who thought Brann had injured them did +not invoke the law. They invoked Judge Lynch---- + +A mob seized the fool, and, placing a rope about his +neck, led him naked through the October night, out to +the theological seminary, which they declared he had +traduced. + +There they smote him with the flat of their hands, and +spat upon him. It was their intention to hang the fool, +but better counsel prevailed, and on his signing, in +terrorem, a document they placed before him, they gave him +warning to depart to another state. And on his promising +to do so, they let him go. + +But the next day he refused to leave; and his flashing +wit still filled the air, now embittered through the outrage +visited upon him. + +His enemies held prayer-meetings, invoking divine aid +for the fool's conversion--or extinction. One man quoted +David's prayer concerning Shimmei: "bring thou down +his hoar head to the grave in blood!" And others still, +prayed, "let his children be fatherless and his wife a +widow." + +But still the fool flourished his bauble. + +Then they shot him. + +That hand which wrote the most Carlylean phrase of +any in America is cold and stiff. That teeming brain +which held a larger vocabulary than that of any man in +America is only clay that might stop a hole to keep the +wind away. That soul through which surged thoughts +too great for speech has gone a-journeying. + +Brann is dead. + +No more shall we see that lean, clean, homely face, +with its melancholy smile. No more shall we hear the fool +eloquently, and oh! so foolishly, plead the cause of the +weak, the unfortunate, the vicious. No more shall we +behold the tears of pity glisten in those sad eyes as his +heart was wrung by the tale of suffering and woe. + +His children are fatherless, his wife a widow. + +Brann the Fool is dead.--The Mirror. +April 14th, 1898. + +* * * +WILLIAM COWPER BRANN. + +BY J. D. SHAW. + +William Cowper Brann was born in Humboldt Township, +Coles County, Illinois, January 4, 1855. He was +not raised in the home of his parents, though his father, +Rev. Noble Brann, survived him, and is still living. His +mother having died when he was two and a half years old, +he was within the next six months placed in the care of +Mr. William Hawkins, a Coles County farmer, with whom +he lived about ten years. As to his childhood experiences +on the Hawkins' farm nothing is now known. They were +probably such as are common to children raised in the +country. Of Mr. Hawkins he always spoke kindly, referring +to him as "Pa Hawkins." His nature was not suited +to farm life, however, and he finally made up his mind +to see more of the world, hence without ever having +disclosed his resolution to any one, he quietly walked away +one dark and cheerless night, carrying in a small box under +his arm all that he then possessed, and leaving behind him +the friends of his childhood in the only place he had ever +known as his home, thus entering upon the active struggle +of life at thirteen years of age, without friends, destitute +of means, and almost entirely uneducated. + +The first position he obtained was that of bell boy in a +hotel. Later on he learned to be a painter and grainer, +then a printer, a reporter, and finally an editorial writer. +He was energetic, industrious and painstaking in whatever +he undertook to do, therefore always employed. +Early in his struggle he realized the need of an education, +in the acquirement of which he applied himself with eager +diligence. Nature had endowed him with keen perceptive +powers, a retentive memory and great mental vigor, by +means of which he soon accumulated considerable knowledge. +Every moment that could be spared from his daily +toil was spent in reading books of science, philosophy, +history, biography and general literature. In this way +he became thoroughly informed on almost every important +subject, as will be seen by the contents of his writings. + +On March 3, 1877, at Rochelle, Illinois, he was married +to Miss Carrie Martin, who, with their two children, Grace +Gertrude and William Carlyle is now living in the beautiful +home, here at Waco, from which he was buried April 3, 1898. + +During all the years, from the time he left the +hospitable home of Mr. Hawkins, in 1868, until after he had +successfully launched "Brann's ICONOCLAST," he suffered +the harassing annoyances of extreme poverty, in the +endurance of which he was cheerful, hopeful and diligent in +the equipment of his mind preparatory to the work he +always believed he would some day be able to accomplish. + +Beginning his literary career as a reporter, he was soon +made an editorial writer, in which capacity he became +well-known throughout Illinois, Missouri and Texas. As +such he was versatile, forceful and direct. There was +no needless repetition of tiresome circumlocution in his +composition. He possessed an inexhaustible vocabulary, +from which he could always find the words best fitted to +convey his meaning at the moment they were most needed, +and every sentence was resplendent with an order of wit, +humor and satire peculiar to a style original with himself. + +In July, 1891, he issued at Austin, Texas, the first +number of "Brann's ICONOCLAST." Only a few numbers +appeared, when it was suspended and he resumed his +editorial work, then on the Globe-Democrat, of St. Louis, +Missouri, and later on the Express of San Antonio, Texas. +It was in connection with his first attempt to establish +the ICONOCLAST that he delivered a few lectures that were +well received. In later years he went upon the platform +again with every prospect of a successful career in the +lecture field. + +In the summer of 1894, he settled here in Waco, and, in +February of the following year, revived the ICONOCLAST, +which was successful from the first issue, having reached, +at the time of his death, a circulation of ninety thousand +copies. It was through the ICONOCLAST that his genius +found full scope for development, and that he became best +known to the public. In its columns he dared to be +himself. There was now no restraint imposed upon him by +timorous publishers. It belonged to him, and in it he +gave full wing to his own thought. It was this intellectual +freedom, sustained by the magic power and personality +of a real genius, that gave to it such widespread popularity. + +Mr. Brann has been classed as a humorist. This he was, +and of a type peculiar to himself, but he was not content +with merely having amused or entertained the people, he +aspired to arouse public sentiment in the interest of +certain reforms. He was a hater of shams and defied every +form of fraud, hypocrisy and deceit. He made of his +humor a whip with which to scourge from the temple of +social purity every intruder there. He joined in no +partisan schemes for place or power, but, confident of his own +ground, he would stand alone in the defiance of popular +humbugs and frauds. This heroic independence, while +admired by many, made him a mark for the envy and +hatred of such as feared him, and in the end proved to be +the cause of his death. + +But with all his uncompromising hatred of shams, there +beat in the bosom of W. C. Brann a warm and generous +heart for the world at large, and no man was ever a more +devoted friend to the poor and needy. No beggar was +ever turned away from his door empty handed, and no +worthy cause ever asked his help in vain. His religion +was to do whatever he believed to be right, and to defy the +wrong even though it should be found parading in the +garb and livery of righteousness. + +Mr. Brann was fond of nature. He loved the mountains, +the lakes, the rivers and the billowy sea. He loved to +walk amid forest trees and watch the birds fly from bough +to bough and warble their songs of love, but in all the +wide, wide world, his home life was the most sacred object +of his devotion, and when prosperity gave him the means +to do so he found great delight in making it beautiful +and pleasant. He was fond of his friends, but the love he +bore his wife and children was sublimely beautiful, tender +and affectionate. + +His sudden death was a shock not only to his immediate +friends, but to the hundreds of thousands who knew him +through the ICONOCLAST. Walking quietly along the +street, talking with a friend, he was shot in the back by +one T. E. Davis, a partisan on the Baylor side of the +Brann-Baylor trouble. + +After receiving, without warning, his death wound, Mr. +Brann turned upon his assailant, drew a revolver and +vindicated his courage by delivering his fire with such deadly +aim as to leave Davis in the throes of death, which came +to his relief about twenty hours after the fray. + +Mr. Brann received three wounds, from the first of +which he died at 1:55 a.m., April 2nd, surrounded by his +family and many sympathizing friends. + +The impression has gone abroad that Mr. Brann was +without friends and admirers in Waco. The falsity of +this impression was made manifest, by the funeral +attendance, said, and generally believed, to have been the +largest ever seen here. + +He was a believer in religion, therefore, it was not +improper that a religious service was held, conducted by +Rev. Frank Page, D.D., of the Episcopal church, though +the writer, acting in according with the wishes of the +family, spoke a few words at the grave. + +In Oakwood Cemetery the body of Brann was laid to +rest in the embrace of our common mother earth, and +under a mound of floral offerings, which though profuse +and costly were but a feeble expression of the sincere +grief that struck dumb with awe the thousands upon +thousands who had learned to love him with an affection +accorded to few men. + +. . . + +My position as to Mr. Brann's style of journalism has +been freely expressed, and while he was still alive. I do +not approve of all he saw fit to write, nor of the spirit +in which he wrote, but that he was a real genius and a +benefactor of his race cannot be denied. It was with him, +as it is with all men of his type, he made strong and bitter +enemies, still his friends and admirers were numbered by +thousands, I may safely say hundreds of thousands. + +The purposes, direction and character of the ICONOCLAST +were in many respects different from those of this +Pulpit, nevertheless there was between Mr. Brann and +myself a strong tie of friendship that, so far as I know, +never suffered the breach of a single moment, and I +sincerely mourn his loss as a personal friend whose kindly +greetings were to me as glimpses of the sun on a winter's +day. + +Of humble birth, beset by poverty and environed by +many difficulties, he applied himself to the study of +literature with such diligence as to acquire abilities possessed +by few, and when once equipped for the field he occupied +with such consummate skill, no power of prejudice could +keep him from rising like a star of the first magnitude. +Alas! how soon that star has been obscured and by what +ignoble means! But, against great odds, its brief +existence was characterized by a brilliancy that no prejudice +or hatred can ever obliterate. + +Having dealt candidly with Mr. Brann while living, I +will not now ignore the fact that he had faults, and his +inability to overcome these marred, here and there, the +splendor of his intellectual achievements. His faults, +though, were of a kind that may be permitted to pass into +the grave with his body. His virtues were many, and for +these he was loved, despite the imperfections he could not +always control. His services to mankind were numerous +and they were rendered with a devotion as ardent as that +of a lover; for these he will be remembered, nor can any +power rob him of his fame as a literary genius--a poet, +a humorist and a satirist. + + +Lectures and Addresses of Brann. + +SPEAKING OF GALL. + +Gall is a bitter subject, and I shall waste no time selecting +sweet words in which to handle it. There's no surplus +of sweet words in my vocabulary anyhow. I have +never yet been able to rent my mouth for a taffy mill. +Webster gives several definitions of Gall; but the good +old etymologist was gathered to his fathers long before +the word attained its full development and assumed an +honored place in the slang vernacular of the day. It was +needed. It fills what editors sometimes call a "long-felt +want." Gall is sublimated audacity, transcendent +impudence, immaculate nerve, triple-plated cheek, brass in +solid slugs. It is what enables a man to borrow five +dollars of you, forget to repay it, then touch you for twenty +more. It is what makes it possible for a woman to borrow +her neighbor's best bonnet, then complain because +it isn't the latest style or doesn't suit her particular type +of beauty. It is what causes people to pour their troubles +into the ears of passing acquaintances instead of reserving +them for home consumption. It is what makes a man +aspire to the governorship, or to air his asininity in the +Congress of the United States when he should be fiddling +on a stick of cordwood with an able-bodied buck-saw. It +is what leads a feather-headed fop, with no fortune but +his folly, no prospects but poverty--who lacks business +ability to find for himself bread--to mention marriage to +a young lady reared in luxury, to ask her to leave the +house of her father and help him fill the land with fools. +Gall is what spoils so many good ditchers and delvers to +make peanut politicians and putty-headed professional +men. It is what puts so many men in the pulpit who +could serve their Saviour much better planting the mild- +eyed potato or harvesting the useful hoop-pole. It is what +causes so many young ladies to rush into literature +instead of the laundry--to become poets of passion instead +of authors of pie. + +Gall is a very common ailment. In fact, a man without +a liberal supply of it is likely to be as lonesome in this +land as a consistent Christian at a modern camp-meeting, +or a gold-bug Democrat in Texas. Nearly everybody has +it and is actually proud of it. When a young man is first +afflicted with the tender passion; when he is in the throes +of the mysterious mental aberration that would cause him +to climb a mesquite bush and lasso the moon for his +inamorata if she chanced to admire it, he is apt to think +it love that makes the world go round. Later he learns +that Gall is the social dynamics--the force that causes +humanity to arise and hump itself. + +Gall has got the world grabbed. Politics is now a high- +class play, whose pawns are power and plunder; business +is becoming but a gouge-game wherein success hallows +any means. Our mighty men are most successful +marauders; our social favorites minister in the temple of +Mammon, our pillar of cloud by day and of fire by night +the follies and foibles of the "Four Hundred," our God the +Golden Calf. The standard by which society now measures +men is the purse; that by which it gauges greatness +the volume of foolish sound which the aspirant for +immortal honors succeeds in setting afloat, little caring +whether it be such celestial harp music as caused Thebe's +walls to rise, or the discordant bray of the ram's horn +which made Jericho's to fall. This century, which proudly +boasts itself "heir to all the ages and foremost in the files +of time," doffs its beaver to brazen effrontery, burns its +sweetest incense on the unhallowed shrine of pompous +humbuggery, while modest merit is in a more pitiable +predicament than the traditional tomcat in Tartarus without +teeth or toenails. + +We make manifest our immeasureable Gall by +proclaiming from the housetops that, of all the ages which +have passed o'er the hoary head of Mother Earth, the +present stands preeminent; that of all the numberless +cycles of Time's mighty pageant there was none like unto +it--no, not one. And I sincerely hope there wasn't. Perhaps +that which induced the Deity to repent him that he +had made man and send a deluge to soak some of the +devilment out of him, was the nearest approach to it. We +imagine that because we have the electric telegraph and +the nickel-plated dude, the printing press and the campaign +lie, the locomotive and the scandal in high life; that +because we now roast our political opponent instead of +the guileless young missionary, and rob our friends by +secret fraud instead of despoiling our foes by open force, +that we are the people par-excellence and the Lord must +be proud of us. + +Progress and improvement are not always synonyms. A +people may grow in Gall instead of grace. I measure a +century by its men rather than by its machines, and we +have not, since civilization took its boasted leap forward, +produced a Socrates or a Shakespeare, a Phidias or an +Angelo, a Confucius or a Christ. This century runs +chiefly to Talmages and Deacon Twogoods, pauper dukes +and divorce courts--intellectual soup and silk lingerie. + +. . . + +The poets no longer sing of the immortal gods, of war +and sacrifice, while the flame mounts to manhood's cheek, +red as the fires of Troy: They twitter of lovies and +dovies, of posies and goose-liver pie, while pretty men +applaud and sentimental maids get moonsick. Cincinnatus +no longer waits for the office to seek the man: He sells +his brace of bullocks and buys a political boom. No more +the Spartan mother gives her long black hair for bow- +strings: She blondines it, paints, powders and tries to +pass as the younger sister of her eldest daughter. The +Norse viking no longer plows the unknown wave, his +heart wilder than the wat'ry waste, his arm stronger than +tempered steel: He comes to America and starts a +saloon. No more the untamed Irish king caroms on the +Saxon invader with a seasoned shillalah: He gets on the +police force and helps "run the machine," or clubs the +head off the harmless married man who won't go home +till morning. In these degenerate days the philosopher +retires not to the desert, and there, by meditation most +profound, wrings from the secret treasure-house of his own +superior soul, jewels to adorn his age and enrich the +world: He mixes an impossible plot with a little pessimism, +adds a dude and a woman whose moral character has seen +better days, spills the nauseous compound on the public +as a "philosophical novel" and works the press for puffs. +Indeed we're progressing; going onward and upward-- +like the belled buzzard dodging a divorce scandal. Greece +had her Pericles, but it was left for us to produce a +Parkhurst. Rome had her Cicero and her Caesar, but was never +equal to a Culberson or a Corbett. The princes of old +conquered the earth, but the modern plutocrats put a +mortgage on it. Cleopatra drank pearls dissolved in wine, but +whisky straight is said to be good enough for some of her +successors. Samson slew the Philistines with a jawbone of +an ass; but a modern politician, employing the self-same +weapon, would have got 'em to elect him governor. We've +got no Helen of Troy; but our "Hell'n Blazes" is a bird +o' the same feather. We've got to yield the palm in poetry +and philosophy, art and architecture; but when it comes +to building political platforms that straddle every important +issue and slinging princely style on a pauper income +we're out of sight. + +How can the acorn become a mighty forest monarch if +planted in a pint pot and crossed with a fuzzy-wuzzy +chrysanthemum? How can the Numidian lion's whelp become +a king of beasts if reared in a cage and fed on cold +potatoes, muzzled and made to dance to popular music? How +can the superior soul expand until it becomes all-embracing, +god-like, a universe in itself, in which rings sweet +sphere-music and rolls Jovinian thunder--in which blazes +true Promethean fire instead of smolders the sulphurous +caloric of the nether world--when its metes and bounds are +irrevocably fixed for it--when it can only grow in certain +prescribed directions, painfully mapped out for it by +bumptious pismires who imagine that their little heads +constitute the intellectual Cosmos? + +. . . + +Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, lamented that he lacked +Gall; but the melancholy Dane was dead years before the +present generation of titled snobs appeared upon the scene. +None of the princes or dukes of the present day appear to +be short on Gall; none of the nobility seem to be suffering +for lack of it. Not long ago a little Duke who owes his +title to the fact that his great-grand-aunt was the paramour +of a half-wit prince, kindly condescended to marry an +American girl to recoup his failing fortunes. A little +French guy whose brains are worth about two cents a +pound--for soap-grease--put up a Confederate-bond title +for the highest bidder and was bought in like a hairless +Mexican pup by an American plutocrat. Now half-a-dozen more +little pauper princelings and decadent dukelings +are trying to trade their worthless coronets for +American cash. But the fact that many a man boasting +of his American sovereignty will dicker with a titled young +duke, instead of using the forecastle of a No. 9 foot to +drive his spinal column up through his plug-hat like a +presidential lightning-rod; will actually purchase for his +daughter some disgusting little title upon which rests the +fateful bar-sinister of a woman's shame, and is encumbered +by a dizzy young dude, too lazy to work and too cowardly +to steal--too everlastingly "ornery" to raise a respectable +crop of wild oats-proves that the young lollipop +lordlings haven't a monopoly of the Gall of the Globe. + +A most shameful exhibition of Gall is the practice now +coming into vogue with certain society ladies of encouraging +newspapers to puff their charms--even paying them so +much a line for fulsome praise. Not a few metropolitan +papers reap a handsome profit by puffing society buds +whom their fond parents are eager to place on the matrimonial +market, hoping that they will "make good +matches"; in other words, that they will marry money-- +its possessors being thrown in as pelon. Even married +women, who are long on shekels but short on sense, +sometimes pay big prices to get their portraits in the public +prints--accompanied by puffs that would give a buzzard +a bilious attack. + +But the Gall of the girl who puts her picture in the +papers, accompanied by a paid puff of her "purty," scarce +equals that of the conceited maid who imagines she has +only to look at a man and giggle a few times to "mash +him cold"--to get his palpitating heart on a buckskin +string and swing it hither-and-yon at pleasure. How the +great he-world does suffer at the hands of those heartless +young coquettes--if half it tells 'em be true! David said +in his haste that all men are liars. And had he carefully +considered the matter he would have come to the same +conclusion. Washington may have told his father the +truth about that cherry-tree; but later in life he became +entirely too popular with the ladies for a man unable to lie. + +It is natural for men to pay court to a pretty woman +as for flies to buzz about a molasses barrel; but not every +fly that buzzes expects to get stuck, I beg to state. The +man who doesn't tell every woman who will listen to him +--excepting, perhaps, his wife--that she's pretty as a peri, +even though she be homely enough to frighten a mugwump +out of a fat federal office; that she's got his heart grabbed; +that he lives only in the studied sunshine of her store- +teeth smile and is hungering for an opportunity to die for +her dear sake--well, he's an angel, and he-seraphs are +almighty scarce I beg of you to believe. Since Adonis +died and Joseph was gathered to his fathers none have +appeared that I am aware of. These young gentlemen were +all right, I suppose; but I'd like to see either of them +get elected nowadays on the Democratic ticket in Texas. + +But feminine conceit, fed on flattery, were as milk-shake +unto mescal, as a kiss by mail to one by moonlight compared +with the insufferable egotism of the "pretty man" +who puts his moustache up in curl-papers and perfumes +his pompadour; who primps and postures before an amorous +looking-glass and imagines that all Eve's daughters +are trying to abduct him. Whenever I meet one of these +male irresistibles I'm forcibly reminded that the Almighty +made man out of mud--and not very good mud at that. +The two-legged he-thing who makes a clothes-horse of +himself and poses on the street-corner perfumed like an +emancipation day picnic; who ogles a pretty woman until +the crimson creeps into her cheek, then prides himself on +having captured her heart like the boy caught the itch,-- +because he couldn't help it--when she's only blushing for +the mother who bore the pitiful parody on manhood; who +imagines that every maid who deigns to waste a smile on +him is sighing her soul out for his sweet sake, has allowed +his Gall to go to his head and curdle his brains. + +. . . + +More than a moiety of our so-called great men are but +featherless geese, possessing a superabundance of Gall-- +creatures of chance who ride like driftwood on the crest of +a wave raised by forces they cannot comprehend; but they +ride, and the world applauds them while it tramples better +men beneath its brutal feet. Greatness and Gall, genius +and goose-speech, sound and sense have become synonyms. +If you fall on the wrong side of the market men +will quote the proverb about a fool and his money: if on +the right side you're a Napoleon of finance. Lead a +successful revolt and you are a pure patriot whose memory +should be preserved to latest posterity; head an unsuccessful +uprising and you are a miserable rebel who should +have been hanged. "Nothing succeeds like success." Had +the Christian religion failed to take root, Judas Iscariot +would have been commemorated in the archives of Rome +as one who helped stamp out the hateful heresy, and had +Washington got the worst of it in his go with Cornwallis +he would have passed into history as a second Jack Cade. + +Alexander of Macedon was great, as measured by the +world's standard of eminence. After two-and-twenty +centuries our very babes prattle of this bloody butcher, and +even his horse has been enshrined in history. In our own +day Father Damien left kindred and country and went +forth to die for the miserable lepers in the mid-Pacific, +but he is already forgotten--his name and fame have +faded from the minds of men. Yet greater and grander +than all the blood-stained princes and potentates of earth; +nobler, more god-like than all the proud prelates that ever +aired their turgid eloquence at Christian conference or +ecumenical council was that young priest; but no cenotaph +rises to commemorate his sacrifice--silent as his own +sealed lips is the trumpet of fame. + +But for Gall of the A1, triple X brand, commend me to +the little pot-house politician who poses as a political +prophet and points out to wiser men their public duties. +We have to-day in this land of the free and home of the +crank, thousands of self-important little personages who +know as little of political economy as a parrot of the +power of prayer, prating learnedly of free-trade or +protection, greenbackism or metallic money. Men who +couldn't tell a fundamental principle from their funny- +bone, an economic thesis from a hot tamale--who don't +know whether Ricardo was an economist or a corn-doctor-- +evolve from their empty ignorance new systems of +"saving the country," and defend them with the dogmatic +assurance of a nigger preacher describing the devil--make +gorgeous displays of their Gall. I have noticed that, as a +rule, the less a man knows of the science of government the +crazier he is to go to congress. About half the young +statesmen who break into the legislature imagine that +Roger Q. Mills wrote the Science of Economics, and that +Jefferson Davis was the father of Democracy. + +But the Gall is not confined to the little fellows--the big +political M.D.'s have their due proportion. The remedies +they prescribe for Uncle Sam's ailments remind me of the +panaceas put on the market by the patent-medicine men-- +warranted to cure everything, from a case of cholera-morbus +to an epidemic of poor relations. We have one school +of practitioners prescribing free-trade as a sure-cure for +every industrial ill, another a more drastic system of +protection. One assures us that the silver-habit is dragging +us down to the demnition bow-wows, another that only an +heroic dose of white dollars will save us from industrial +death. Political claptrap to corral the succulent pie-- +"issues" to get office. We have had high and low tariff, +the gold and silver standard, greenbackism and "wild-cat" +currency; we have had presidents of all shades of political +faith and congresses of every kind of economic folly; yet +in a single century America has risen from the poorest of +nations to the wealthiest in all the world. True it is that +wealth is congested--that willful Waste and woeful Want +go hand in hand--that the land is filled with plutocrats and +paupers; but this distressing fact is due to the faults of +our industrial system itself, and can never be reformed by +placing fiddle-strings on the free list or increasing the +tariff on toothpicks. + +Gall? Ye gods! Look at the platform promises of the +blessed Democratic party--then at its performances! +Look at the party itself--a veritable omnium-gatherum of +political odds and ends, huddled together under the party +blanket like household gods and barn-yard refuse after a +hurricane. High and low tariffs and free-traders; gold- +bugs, green-backers and bi-metallists; Cleveland and +Croker, Altgeld and Olney, Hill and Hogg, Waco's Warwick +and Colonel Culberson's kid, all clamoring to be dyed- +in-the-wool Democrats! When I get a new main-spring +put in my vocabulary I'm going to tackle the Gall of the +Populists and Republicans. + +. . . + +Some specimens of Gall amaze me by their greatness, +some amuse me, while others only spoil my appetite. Of +the latter class is the chronic kicker who is forever fuming +about feminine fashions. If the hoop-skirt comes in this +critic is in agony; if the "pull-back" makes its appearance +he has a fit and falls in it. Ever since Eve attired +herself in a few freckles and fig-leaves he's been reforming +the fashions. Don't mind him, ladies. Like a peacock +crying in the night, he's disagreeable, but not dangerous. +Adorn yourselves as you see fit; follow such fashions as +seem good in your sight, and have no fear that the sons of +men will ever forsake you because of your clothes. When +you find a man dictating to the ladies what they shall +wear you're pretty apt to see his head housed in a stove- +pipe hat--the most inartistic and awkward monstrosity +ever designed by the devil to make the Almighty ashamed +of his masterpiece. In all history there's no record of a +great idea being born in a beegum. I never saw a statue +of a hero or picture of a martyr with a plug hat on. +Imagine the Lord laying aside a silk cady preparatory to +preaching that Sermon on the Mount--or Napoleon +apostrophizing the pyramids in a plug! Before finding fault +with the fashions of the ladies just imagine Apollo in the +make-up of a modern society swell, loafing into court on +High Olympus! Why Jove would hit him with a thunderbolt +so hard there'd be nothing left of him but a wilted +chrysanthemum and a pair o' yaller shoes! + +. . . + +For a specimen of Gall that must amaze the very gods +commend me to a crowd of pharisaical plutocrats, piously +offering, in a hundred thousand dollar church, prayers to +him who had nowhere to lay his head; who pay a preacher +$15,000 per annum to point the way to Paradise, while in +the great cities of every Christian country children must +steal or starve and women choose between death and +dishonor. New York is crowded with costly churches that +lift their proud spires into the empyrean, that part the +clouds with golden fingers--monuments which Mammon +rears as if to mock the lowly Son of God. Their value +mounts up into the millions; yet I learn--from a religious +paper, mark you--that 100,000 men, women and children +were evicted in New York alone last year for the non- +payment of rent; turned into the streets to suffer summer's +heat or winter's cold--to beg, or starve, or steal, as they +saw fit. I find these startling statistics in the same column +with a tearful appeal for more money to send missionaries +to black barbarians--on the same page with a description +of a new church that must have cost a cold half-million of +cash. That's what I call sanctified assurance--gall +masquerading as grace. And what is true of New York is +true, in greater or less degree, of every town from +Plymouth Rock to Poker Flats, from Tadmor-in-the- +Wilderness to Yuba Dam. Everywhere the widow is battling +with want, while we send Bibles and blankets, prayer- +books and pie, salvation and missionary soup to a job-lot +of lazy niggers whose souls aren't worth a soumarkee in +blocks-of-five--who wouldn't walk into heaven if the gates +were wide open, but once inside would steal the eternal +throne if it wasn't spiked down. Let the heathen rage; +we've got our hands full at home. I'd rather see the whole +black-and-tan aggregation short on Bibles than one white +child crying for bread. + +While Europe and America are peddling saving grace +in pagan lands--and incidentally extending the market for +their cheap tobacco, snide jewelry and forty-rod bug-juice +--they are also building warships and casting cannon-- +preparing to cut each other's throats while prating of the +prince of peace! The idea of countries that have to build +forts on their frontiers and keep colossal standing armies +to avoid being butchered by their own Christian brethren; +that are full of divorce courts and demagogues, penitentiaries +and poorhouses, sending young theological goslings, +who believe that all of divine revelation can be found in +one book, to teach the philosophic Hindu the road to +heaven! Gall! Why the men we are trying to convert +were preaching the immortality of the soul when the +Hebrew prophets were putting people to the sword for +accepting it; they were familiar with all the essential +features of the Christian faith a thousand years before the +crucifixion of Christ. Charity begins at home. In our +own country children are coming up in ignorance and +crime, while sect vies with sect in the erection of proud +temples in which polite society may display its Parisian +finery while pretending to worship One who broke bread +with beggars and slept in the brush. + +I haven't much use for gold-plated godliness. Christ +never built a church, or asked for a vacation on full pay, +--never. He indulged in no political harangues--never +told his parishioners how to vote--never posed as a professional +Prohibitionist. He didn't try to reform the fallen +women of Jerusalem by turning them over to the police, +a la Parkhurst. Although gladiatorial shows were common +in his country--and that without gloves--he didn't go +raging up and down the earth like some of our Texas +dominies, demanding that these awful crimes against +civilization should cease. There is no record of his +engineering a boycott against business men who dissented from his +doctrine. I think he could have read a copy of the ICONOCLAST +with far more patience than some of his successors. +Human or divine, he was the grandest man that ever +graced the mighty tide of time. His was a labor of love, +instead of for lucre. The groves were his temples, the +mountain-side his pulpit, the desert his sacristy, and +Jordan his baptismal font. + +. . . + +Then there's the unconscious Gall of the pious parrot +who is quite sure that the only highway to the heavenly +hereafter is outlined by his little sect, macadamized by his +creed; that you've got to travel that or get into trouble, +perhaps fall into the fire. + +Just imagine that dear Lord, who so loved sinners that +he died to save them from death eternal, looking over +heaven's holy battlements and observing a miserable mortal +plunging downward to his doom, leaving behind him a +streak of fire like a falling star, his face distorted with +fear, his every hair erect and singing like a jewsharp. +He asks St. Peter: + +"Who's that?" + +"Oh," says the man on the door, "that's old John +Smith." + +The Lord goes over to the office of the Recording Angel +and turns the leaves of the great ledger. He finds the +name, "John Smith, No. 11,027," and on the credit page +these entries: "He was fearless as Caesar, generous as +Macaenas, tender as Guatama and true to his friends as the +stars to their appointed courses. He was a knight of +nature's nobility, a lord in the aristocracy of intellect, +courtier at home and a king abroad. On the debit page +he reads: "Went fishing on Sunday. There was a miscue +on his baptism. He knew a pretty woman from an ancient +painting, a jack-pot from a prayer-book, and when smitten +on one cheek he made the smacker think he'd been smuck +by a cyclone." Good-bye, John! + +It may be that the monarch of the majestic universe +marches around after every inconsequential little mortal, +note-book in hand, giving him a white mark when he prays +for the neighbor who poisons his dog, or tells his wife the +truth regardless of consequences; a black one when he bets +his money on the wrong horse or sits down on the sidewalk +and tries to swipe the front gate as it goes sailing by; but +I doubt it. If I could make the sun, moon and stars in +one day and build a beautiful woman of an old bone, I'd +just like to see the color of that man's hair I'd waste much +time and attention on. + +. . . + +Why should we quarrel about our faiths and declare that +this is right and that is wrong, when all religions are, and +must of necessity ever be, fundamentally one and the same +--the worship of a superior power, the great + + "Father of all, in every age, in ev'ry clime adored, + By saint, by savage and by sage, Jehovah, Jove, or + Lord." + +. . . + +Man's cool assumption that the Almighty made him as +his "masterpiece" should be marked Exhibit A in the +mighty aggregation of Gall. That after millions of years +experience in the creation business--after building the +archangels and the devil; after making the man in the +moon and performing other wondrous miracles, the straddling +six-foot biped who wears a spike-tail coat and plug- +hat, a silk surcingle and sooner tie; who parts his name +on the side and his hair in the middle; who sucks a cane +and simpers like a school-girl struggling with her first +compliment; who takes it for granted that he knows it +all, when his whole life--including his birth, marriage and +death--is a piece of ridiculous guess-work; who insists +that he has a soul to save, yet labors with might and main +to lose it; protests that there's a better land beyond the +grave, yet moves heaven and earth to keep from going to +it so long as he can help it--the assumption, I say, that +this was the best the Creator could do, is prima facie +evidence of a plentitude of Gall of the purest ray serene. + +The calm assurance of man that the earth and all it +contains were made for his especial benefit; that woman was +created solely for his comfort; that the sun was made to +give him light by day and the moon to enable him to find +his way home from the lodge at night without the aid of a +policeman; that the heavens were hung with a resplendent +curtain of stars and the planets sent whirling through +space in a majestic dance about the God of Day, simply to +afford him matter for wonder or for amusement when too +tired to talk politics or too bilious to drink beer, evinces an +egotism that must amuse the Almighty. + +Masterpiece indeed! Why, God made man, and, finding +that he couldn't take care of himself, made woman to take +care of him--and she proposes to discharge her heaven- +ordained duty or know the reason why. Tennyson says +that, "as the husband is the wife is"; but even Tennyson +didn't know it quite all. When wives take their hubbies for +measures of morality, marriage will become an enthusiastic +failure and Satan be loosed for a little season. We +acknowledge woman's superiority by demanding that she be +better than we could if we would, or would be if we could. + +We are fond of alluding to woman as "the weaker +vessel"; but she can BREAK the best of us if given an +opportunity. Pope calls man the "great lord of all +things"--but Pope never got married. We rule with a +rod of iron the creatures of the earth and air and sea; +we hurl our withering defi in the face of Kings and brave +presidential lightning; we found empires and straddle the +perilous political issue, then surrender unconditionally to +a little bundle of dimples and deviltry, sunshine and +extravagance. No man ever followed freedom's flag for +patriotism (and a pension) with half the enthusiasm that +he will trail the red, white and blue that constitute the +banner of female beauty. The monarch's fetters cannot +curtail our haughty freedom, nor nature's majestic forces +confine us to this little lump of clay; we tread the ocean's +foam beneath our feet, harness the thunderbolts of imperial +Jove to the jaunting car, and even aspire to mount the +storm and walk upon the wind; yet the bravest of us +tremble like cowards and lie like Cretans when called to +account by our wives for some of our cussedness, + +But you will say that I have wandered from my text-- +have followed the ladies off and got lost. Well, it's not the +first time it's happened. But really, I'm not so +inconsistent as I may seem; for if the gentler sex exceeds us +in goodness it likewise surpasses us in Gall. Perhaps the +most colossal exhibit of polite and elegant audacity this +world can boast is furnished by that female who has made +a marriage of convenience; has wedded money instead of a +man,--practically put her charms up at auction for the +highest bidder--yet who poses as a paragon of purity; +gathers up her silken skirts--the price of her legalized +shame--lest they come in contact with the calico gown +of some poor girl who has loved, not wisely, but too well. + +Marriage is the most sacred institution ever established +on earth, making the father, mother and child a veritable +Holy Trinity; but it is rapidly degenerating into an +unclean Humbug, in which Greed is God and Gall is recognized +high-priest. We now consider our fortunes rather +than our affections, acquire a husband or wife much as we +would a parrot or a poodle, and get rid of them with about +as little compunction. Cupid now feathers his arrows +from the wings of the gold eagle and shoots at the stomach +instead of the heart. Love without law makes angels +blush; but law without love crimson even the brazen brow +of infamy. + +. . . + +But the fact that so many selfish, soulless marriages are +made is not altogether woman's fault. Our ridiculous +social code is calculated to crush all sentiment and sweetness +out of the gentler sex--to make woman regard herself +as merchandise rather than as a moral entity, entitled to +life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The average +woman must select a husband from a narrow circle; must +make choice among two or three admirers or elect to live +a loveless old maid--to forego the joys of motherhood, +the happiness of a home. Man is privileged to go forth +and seek a mate. The world is before him, a veritable +"Dream of Fair Women." He wanders at will, as amid +a mighty parterre of flowers, sweet as the breath of morn, +and finally, before some fair blossom he bows the knee +--pours forth the incense of his soul to the one woman in +all the world he would make his wife. True, she may +refuse him and marry some other fellow; but he is at least +privileged to approach her, to plead his cause to employ +all the art and eloquence of love to bring her into his life. +Woman enjoys no such privilege. She must wait to be +wooed, and if her king comes not she must take the best +that offers and try to be content. + +Every daughter of Eve dreams of an ideal,--of a man +tender and true, who will fill her life with love's own +melody; his word her law, his home her heaven, his honor +her glory and his tomb her grave. And some day, from +these castles in the clouds he comes--these day-dreams, +golden as the dawn, become the halo of a mortal man, to +whom her heart turns as the helianthus to the sun. At last +the god of her idolatry doth walk the earth; but she must +stand afar,--must not, by word or act, betray the holy +passion that's consuming her, lest "that monster custom +of habits devil," doth brand her bold and bad. Love +ofttimes begets love, as the steel strikes fire from the cold +flint, and a word from her might bring him to her feet; +but she must stand with dumb lips and assumed indifference +and see him drift out of her life, leaving it desolate +as the Scythian desert, when it should have budded and +blossomed like the great blush rose. So she drifts +desolate into old maidenhood and the company of Maltese cats; +else, when hope is dead in her heart--when the dream of +her youth has become dust and ashes--she marries for +money and tries to feed her famished heart with Parisian +finery, to satisfy her soul with the Dead Sea fruit of +fashion. + +No; I wouldn't give woman the ballot--not in a thousand +years. I want no petticoats in politics--no she-senators +or female presidents; but I'd do better by woman; I'd +repeal that ridiculous social law--survival of female +slavery--which compels her to wait to be wooed. I'd put +a hundred leap-years in every century, give woman the +right to do half the courting--to find a man to her liking +and capture him if she could. Talk about reforms! Why, +the bachelors would simply have to become Benedicts or +take to the brush, and there'd be no old maids outside the +dime museums. But I was speaking of Gall. + +. . . + +Gall is usually unadulterated impudence; but sometimes +it is irremediably idiocy. When you find a man pluming +himself on his ancestors you can safely set it down that +he's got the disease in its latter form, and got it bad. I +always feel sorry for a man who's got nothing to be proud +of but a dead gran'daddy, for it appears to be a law of +nature that there shall be but one great man to a tribe-- +that the lightning of genius shall not twice strike the same +family tree. I suppose that Cleveland and Jim Corbett, +Luther and Mrs. Lease, Homer and J. S. Hogg had +parents and gran'parents; but we don't hear much about +'em. And while the ancestors of the truly great are +usually lost in the obscurity of the cornfield or cotton- +patch, their children seldom succeed in setting the world +on fire. Talent may be transmitted from father to son; +but you can no more inherit genius than you can inherit +a fall out of a balloon. It is the direct gift of that God +who is no respecter of persons, and who sheds his glory on +the cotter's child as freely as on those of monarchs and of +millionaires. + +We have in this country three aristocracies: The +aristocracy of intellect, founded by the Almighty; the +aristocracy of money, founded by Mammon, and the aristocracy +of family, founded by fools. The aristocracy of brains +differs from those of birth and boodle as a star differs from +a jack-o'-lantern, as the music of the spheres from the bray +of a burro, as a woman's first love from the stale affection +hashed up for a fourth husband. + +To the aristocracy of money belong many worthy men; +but why should the spirit of mortal be proud? The +founder of one of the wealthiest and most exclusive of +American families skinned beeves and made weinerwurst. +The calling was an honest and useful one. His sausages +were said to be excellent, and at a SKIN game he was +exceptionally hard to beat; but his descendants positively +decline to put a calf's head regardant and a cleaver +rampant on their coat-of-arms. A relative much addicted to +the genealogical habit once assured me that he could trace +our family back 600 years just as easy as following the +path to the drugstore in a Prohibition town. I was +delighted to hear it, to learn that I too had ancestors--that +some of them were actually on the earth before I was born. +While he was tracing I was figuring. I found that in 600 +years there should be 20 generations--if everybody did +his duty--and that in 20 generations a man has 2,093,056 +ancestors! Just think of it! Why, if he had gone back +600 years further he might have discovered that I was a +lineal descendant of Adam, perhaps distantly related to +crowned monarchs--if not to the Duke of Marlborough. +As my cousin couldn't account for this job-lot of kinsmen +--had no idea how many had been hanged, gone into politics +or written poetry, I rang off. Those people who delight +to trace their lineage through several generations to +some distinguished man should be tapped for the simples. +When John Smith starts out to found a family and marries +Miss Jones, their son is half Smith and half Jones. +The next crop is nearly one-fourth Smith and at the end of +a dozen generations the young Smiths bear about as much +relation to the original as they do to a rabbit. + +. . . + +There are various grades of Gall, but perhaps the +superlative brand is that which leads a man to look down with +lofty scorn upon those of his fellow mortals who have +tripped on Life's rugged pathway and plunged into a +shoreless sea of shame. I am no apologist for crime-- +I would not cover its naked hideousness with the Arachne-- +robe of sentiment; but I do believe that many a social +outcast, many a branded criminal, will get as sweet a harp in +the great hereafter as those who have kept themselves +unspotted from the world. It is easy enough to say grace +over a good square meal, to be honest on a fat income, to +praise God when full of pie; but just wait till you get the +same razzle-dazzle the devil dished up for Job and see how +your halle-hallelujahs hold out before exalting your horn. +Victory does not always proclaim the hero nor virtue the +saint. It were easy enough to sail with wind and tide to +float over fair seas, mid purple isles of spice; but the +captain who loses his ship mid tempests dire, mid wreck and +wrath, may be a better sailor and a braver than the master +who rides safe to port with rigging all intact and every +ensign flying. With + + "The boast of heraldry, the pomp of power, + And all that beauty, all that wealth e'er gave," + +it were easy enough to be a good citizen and a consistent +Christian. It is poverty and contempt, suffering and +disappointment that try men's souls--that proclaim of what +metal they are made. Faith, Hope and Charity are man's +triune transcendent--"and the greatest of these is +Charity." A pharisee is either a pious fraud or a hopeless +fool--he's either short on "gumption" or long on Gall. + +. . . + +Half the alleged honesty of this world is but Gall, and +must be particularly offensive to the Almighty. We have +oodles of men in every community who are legally honest, +but morally rotten. Legal honesty is the brand usually +proclaimed as "the best policy." Only fools risk the +penitentiary to fill their purse. The smart rogue is ever +"honest within the law"--infamous in strict accord with +the criminal code. + +Dives may attire himself in purple and fine linen and +fare sumptuously every day, while Lazarus lies at his door +for the dogs to lick, vainly craving the crumbs that fall +from the millionaire's table, and still be legally honest, even +a church member in good standing; but his loyalty to legal +forms will avail him but little when he finds his coat-tails +afire and no water within forty miles. + +The girl who flirts with a featherless young gosling till +he doesn't know whether he's floating in a sea of champagne +to the sound of celestial music, sliding down a +greased rainbow or riding on the ridge-pole of the aurora +borealis, then tells him that she can only be a kind of +Christmas-present, opera-ticket sister to him; who steals +his unripe affections and allows 'em to get frost-bitten-- +carries him into the empyrean of puppy-love, only to drop +him with a dull plunk that fills his callow heart with +compound fractures--well, she cannot be prosecuted for petit +larceny nor indicted for malicious mischief; but the +unfortunate fellow who finally gets her will be glad to go to +heaven, where there's neither marrying nor giving in +marriage. + +The man who preaches Prohibition in public and pays +court to a gallon jug of corn-juice in private; who damns +the saloon at home and sits up with it all night abroad, +may not transcend the law of the land, but if his Gall +should burst the very buzzards would break their necks +trying to get out of the country. + +The druggist who charges a poor dunderhead a dollar +for filling a prescription that calls in Latin for a spoonful +of salt and an ounce of water, may do no violence to the +criminal code, but he plays ducks and drakes with the +moral law. + +The little tin-horn attorney, whose specialties are +divorce cases and libel suits; who stirs up good-for-naughts +to sue publishers for $10,000 damages to 10-cent reputations; +who's as ready to shield Vice from the sword of +Justice as to defend Virtue from stupid violence; who's +ever for sale to the highest bidder and keeps eloquence on +tap for whosoever cares to buy; who would rob the orphan +of his patrimony on a technicality or brand the Virgin +Mary as a bawd to shield a black-mailer--well, he cannot +be put into the penitentiary, more's the pity! but it's some +satisfaction to believe that, if in all the great universe of +God there is a hell where fiends lie howling, the most +sulphurous section is reserved for the infamous shyster--that +if he cannot be debarred from the courts of earth he'll get +the bounce from those of heaven. + +The woman who inveigles some poor fool--perhaps old +enough to be her father--into calling her his tootsie- +wootsie over his own signature, then brings suit for breach +of promise--or the Seventh Commandment; who exhibits +her broken heart to the judge and jury and demands that +it be patched up with Uncle Sam's illuminated anguish +plasters; who plays the adventuress, then poses in the +public prints as an injured innocent--sends a good reputation +to join a bad character in hope of monetary reward +--well, she too may be legally honest; but it's just as well +to watch her, for no woman worth powder to blow her to +perdition ever did or every will carry such a case into +court. When a woman's heart is really hurting her money +is not going to help it: when she's truly sorry for her sin +she tells her troubles to the Lord instead of to policemen +and reporters. + +The man who sues a fellow-citizen for alienating his +wife's affections, instead of striking his trail with a bell- +mouthed blunderbuss and a muzzle-loading bulldog; who +asks the court to put a silver lining in the cloud of infamy +that hangs over his home; who tries to make capital of his +shame and heal with golden guineas the hurt that honor +feels--well, he too may be a law-abiding citizen; but ten +thousand such souls, if separated from their Gall, might +play hide-and-seek on the surface of a copper cent for a +hundred years and never find each other. + +. . . + +Dignity is but a peculiar manifestation of Gall. It is +the stock in trade of fools. If Almighty God ever put up +great dignity and superior intellect in the same package it +must have got misplaced. They are opposing elements, as +antagonistic as the doctrines of infinite love and infant +damnation. Knowledge makes men humble; true genius is +ever modest. The donkey is popularly supposed to be the +most stupid animal extant--excepting the dude. He's +also the most dignified--since the extinction of the dodo. +No pope or president, rich in the world's respect; no prince +or potentate reveling in the pride of sovereign power; +no poet or philosopher bearing his blushing honors thick +upon him ever equaled a blind donkey in impressive dignity. +As a man's vision broadens; as he begins to realize what a +miserable little microbe he is in that mighty immensity, +studded with the stupendous handiwork of a power that +transcends his comprehension, his dignity drains of and +he feels like asking to be recognized just long enough to +apologize for his existence. + +When I see a little man strut forth in the face of heaven +like a turkey-cock on dress parade; forgotten aeons behind +him, blank time before him, his birth a mystery, his death +a leap in the dark; when I see him pose on the grave of +forgotten races and puff himself up with pomposity like +the frog in the fable; when I see him sprinkled with the +dust of fallen dynasties and erecting new altars upon the +site of forgotten fanes, yet staggering about under a load +of dignity that would spring the knee-joints of an archangel, +I don't wonder that the Lord once decided to drown +the whole layout like a litter of blind puppies. + +. . . + +A lecture on Gall were woefully incomplete without some +reference to the press, that "archimedean lever" and +"molder of public opinion." The average newspaper posing +as a "public educator" is a specimen of Gall that cannot +be properly analyzed in one evening. Men do not establish +newspapers for the express purpose of reforming the +world, but rather to print what a large number of people +in a particular community want to read and are willing +to pay for. A newspaper is simply a mirror in which the +community sees itself, not as it should be, but as it actually +is. It is not the mother, but the daughter of public +opinion. The printing press is a mighty phonograph that +echoes back the joy and the sorrow, the glory and the +shame of the generation it serves. I have no more quarrel +with editors for filling their columns with inanities than +casting shadows when they stand in the sun. They know +what kind of mental pabulum their people crave, and they +are no more in business for their health than is the +merchant. They know that should they print the grandest +sermon that ever fell from Massillon's lips of gold not +20 per cent., even of the professedly pious, would read it; +but that a detailed account of a fragrant divorce case or +international prize-fight will cause 99 per cent. of the +very elect of the Lord to swoop down upon it like a hungry +hen-hawk on an unripe gosling and fairly devour it, then +roll their eyes to heaven like a calf with the colic and +wonder what this wicked old world is coming to. The +editor knows that half the people who pretend to be filled +to overflowing with the grace of God are only perambulating +pillars of pure Gall. He knows that the very people +who criticize him for printing accounts of crimes and +making spreads on sporting events, would transfer their +patronage to other papers if he heeded their howling-- +that they are talking for effect through the crown of their +felts. + +Speaking of prize-fights reminds me that a governor +who, after winking at a hundred brutal slugging matches, +puts his state to the expense of a legislative session to +prevent a pair of gladiators pounding each other with soft +gloves, is not suffering for lack of Gall; that those pious +souls who never suspected that pugilism was an insult to +our civilization until they got a good opportunity to make +a grandstand play, then whereased and resoluted themselves +black in the face anent its brutality, should be presented +with a medal of pure brass. Politics is said to make +strange bed-fellows, but I scarce expected to see a shoe- +string gambler and would-be Don Juan lauded by ministerial +associations as "our heroic young Christian governor." + +Gall? Why, Geo. Clark presumes to give Bismarck +pointers and congress advice. Nobody knows so well how +to manage a husband as an old maid. A bachelor can give +the father of a village pointers on the training of boys. +Our Northern neighbors know exactly how to deal with +the nigger. The man who would starve but for the industry +of his wife feels competent to manage the finances of +the country. People who couldn't be trusted to wean a +calf, tell us all about the Creator of the Cosmos. Sam +Jones wants to debate with Bob Ingersoll, and every forks- +of-the-creek economist takes a hard fall out of Henry +George. The A.P.A. agitators prate loudly of freedom of +conscience and insist on disfranchising the Catholics. We +boast of religious liberty, then enact iron-clad Sunday laws +that compel Jew and pagan to conform to our creed or go +to prison. The prohibs. want to confine the whole world to +cold water because their leaders haven't sufficient stamina +to stay sober. Men who fail to make a living at honest +labor insist on entering the public service. Political +parties charge up to each other the adverse decrees of +Providence. Atheists deny the existence of God because he +doesn't move in their set, while ministers assume that a +criticism of themselves is an insult to the Creator. + +. . . + +But to detain you longer were to give a practical +illustration of my text. I will be told that Gall is a necessary +evil; that a certain amount of audacity, of native +impudence, is necessary to success. I deny it. Fame and +wealth and power constitute our ideal of success--folly +born of falsehood. Only the useful are successful. Father +Damien was the grandest success of the century; Alexander +of Macedon the most miserable failure known to +human history--with the possible exception of Grover +Cleveland. Alexander employed his genius to conquer the +Orient and Cleveland his stupidity to ruin the Occident. +The kingdom of the one went to pieces, and the party of +the other is now posing as the lost tribe of the political +Israel! + +Success? A Gould must give up his gold at the grave, +the sovereign surrender his sceptre, the very gods are in +time forgotten--are swallowed up in the voiceless, viewless +past, hidden by the shadows of the centuries. Why should +men strive for fame, that feather in the cap of fools, when +nations and peoples perish like the flowers and are forgotten-- +when even continents fade from the great world's +face and the ocean's bed becomes the mountain's brow. +Why strive for power, that passes like the perfume of the +dawn, and leaves prince and pauper peers in death? Why +should man, made in the mortal image of immortal God, +become the subservient slave of Greed and barter all of +time for a handful of yellow dross to cast upon the threshold +of eternity? "Poor and content is rich," and rich +enough. With a roof to shelter those his heart holds +dear, and table furnished forth with frugal fare; with +manhood's dauntless courage and woman's deathless love, +the peasant in his lowly cot may be richer far than the +prince in his imperial hall. + +Success? I would rather be a fox and steal fat geese +than a miserly millionaire and prey upon the misfortunes +of my fellows. I would rather be a doodle-bug burrowing +in the dust than a plotting politician, trying to inflate a +second-term gubernatorial boom with the fetid breath of +a foul hypocrisy. I would rather be a peddler of hot +peanuts than a President who gives to bond-grabbers and +boodlers privilege to despoil the pantries of the poor. I +would rather be a louse on the head of a lazar than lord +high executioner of a theological college that, to preserve +its reputation and fill its coffers with filthy lucre, brands +an orphan babe as a bawd. I would rather watch the stars +shining down through blue immensity, and the cool mists +creeping round the purple hills, than feast my eyes on all +the tawdry treasures of Ophir and of Ind. I would rather +play a corn-stalk fiddle while pickaninnies dance, than +build, of widows' sighs and orphans' tears, a flimsy bubble +of fame to be blown adown the narrow beach of Time into +Eternity's shoreless sea. I would rather be the beggar +lord of a lodge in the wilderness, dress in a suit of +sunburn and live on hominy and hope, yet see the love-light +blaze unbought in truthful eyes, than to be the marauding +emperor of the mighty world, and know not who fawned +upon the master and who esteemed the man. + +* * * +BLUE AND GRAY. + +AN ADDRESS TO THE OLD VETERANS. + +[The following is a summary of Mr. Brann's address to +the United American Veterans, San Antonio, Feb. 22, 1894.] + +It occurs to me that the time is not an appropriate one +for lengthy speeches. This is a love-feast, and I have +noticed that when people are much in love they are little +inclined to talk. Perhaps I have been called upon because +I'm a professional peacemaker, an expert harmony promoter. +Were I not as meek as Moses and patient as Job I +certainly would weary in well-doing--become discouraged +and give o'er the attempt to inaugurate an era of +universal peace and general good will; for when I go North +I am denounced by the partisan press as an unreconstructed +rebel seeking to rip the federal government up by +the roots, and when I come South I'm pointed out as a +dangerous Yankee importation with the bluest of equators. +The Democrats insist that I'm a Republican, but that +party declines the responsibility; the infidels call me a +religious crank, the clergy an Atheist, and even the +Mugwumps regard me with suspicion. But let me tell you right +here that whatever I may or may not be, I am an American +from the ground up--from Alpha to Omega, world-without- +end. I may be a man without a party and without +a creed; but so long as Old Glory blazes in God's blue +firmament I will never be a man without a country. + +I can no more imagine a man loving only the north or +south half of his country than I can imagine him loving +only the right or left side of his wife. If I had to love my +country on the instalment plan I'd move out of it. The +man who is really a patriot loves his country in a lump. +There's room in his heart for every acre of its sunny soil, +its every hill upon which the morning breaks, its every +vale that cradles the evening shadows, its every stream +that laughs back the image of the sun. + +When a man feels that way you can safely trust him +with an office--and most of us are perfectly willing to +be trusted. + +As an American citizen I am proud of every man, of +whatever section, who, by the nobility of his nature or the +majesty of his intellect, has added one jot or tittle to the +fame of his fair land, has increased the credit of our common +country, has contributed new power to the car of +human progress. They are my countrymen, friends and +brethren. Are you of the North? Then I claim with you +a joint interest in your entire galaxy of intellectual gods. +At the shrine of Lincoln's broad humanity, of Webster's +matchless power, of the cunning genius of your Menlo +wizard I humbly bow. Are you of the South? Your Jefferson, +Jackson and Lee are mine as well as thine, for they +too were Americans--lords in that mighty aristocracy +of intellect that has, in four generations, made the New +World the wonder of the Old with its cumulative greatness +of forty centuries. + +I have watched the progress of the United American +Veterans' Association with uncommon interest, because it +is distinctively a national organization, in which shriveled +sectionalism and party prejudice find no place. Its corner- +stone is American manhood, its object fraternity, its +principles broad as the continent upon which falls the shadow +of our flag. Do you know what that association means? +--had you thought of its significance? It means that +when brave men sheathe the sword the quarrel's done. It +means that peace hath its triumphs no less than war. +The world's annals furnish forth no parallel to that association +whose guests we are to-night. Men have fought ere +this and patched up a peace; but where, in all the cycles +of human history, have they waged war more relentless +than did Rome and Carthage, then, without a murmur, +accepted the arbitrament of the sword and swung into line, +shoulder to shoulder, a band of brothers, one flag, one +country, one destiny and that the highest goal of human +endeavor? + +My attention has been especially attracted to this +association because it is a practical illustration of what I have +so often urged in print: That the pitiful sectional prejudices +which we see here and there coming to the surface +both north and south; that the petty hatreds, which +appear to transform some hearts into bitter little pools in +which Justice perishes and divine Reason is quite overthrown, +have no lot or part among the soldiers who made +the civil war the grandest event in modern history--one +from which the world will mark time for centuries yet to +be. I have yet to hear an ex-federal who met Lee's +veterans at the Wilderness or Gettysburg, speak +disrespectfully of the man who wore the gray. I have yet to +hear an ex-confederate who mixed it with "Old Pap" +Thomas at Chickamauga, or Joe Hooker above the clouds, +speak disparagingly of those who wore the blue. It is +those who stayed at home to sing, "We'll hang Jeff Davis +on a sour apple tree," and those who damned "Old Abe" +Lincoln at long range who are doing all the tremendous +fighting now. They didn't get started for the front until +after Appomattox; but having once sailed in for slaughter +all Hades can't head 'em off! If a merciful Providence +doesn't soon interpose, these mighty post-bellum warriors +will either break a lung or wreck the majestic world. They +are more dreadful in their destructive awfulness than the +farmer's two he-goats, that "fit an' fit" until there was +nothing left of 'em but a splotch o' blood and two +belligerent tails. Those who exchanged compliments at +Corinth and Cold Harbor; those who received informal +calls from Kilpatrick's cavalry, who we are told "rode like +centaurs and fought like devils"; those who saw Grant's +intrepid Westerners hurl themselves against Vicksburg's +impregnable heights; those who were slammed up against +Jackson's "Stone wall" or picnicked with Johnston's +cartridge-biters on grapeshot pie and deviled minnie balls, +now treat each other with the studied respect which the +Kansas farmer paid the cyclone. He felt sure that the +Lord was on his side and that with such help he could +more than hold his own; still he was in no wise anxious to +steer his theory against a condition that was making a +million revolutions a minute and hadn't yet brought up its +reserves. + +In commingling thus in a common brotherhood, those +who followed the fortunes of the confederacy until human +fortitude could no further go, and those who, with the +sword's keen point, held every gleaming star in Old Glory's +field of blue, are furnishing a commendable example to all +our countrymen, to all humanity. It is an echo, nay, an +incarnation of those words of Grant, the grandest that +ever fell from victorious warrior's lips: "Let us have +peace." The battlefield was sown long since with kindlier +seed than dragon's teeth, has blossomed and borne the +fruits of Life where Death reigned paramount. The +flowers of our Southern fields are no longer dyed with the +blood of the contending brave, but drip with heaven's own +dews; the sullen battery has gone silent on our purple +hills and the crash of steel resounds no more amid our +pleasant valleys. No longer the Northern child waits +and watches for the soldier sire whose lips have felt the +touch of God's own hand; no longer the Southern woman +wanders with bursting heart amid the wreck and wraith +of the fierce simoon, brushing the battle grime from cold +brows, seeking among the mangled dead for all that life +held dear. The curse has passed: "Let us have peace." + +The civil war was a national necessity. It was the fiery +furnace in which Almighty God welded the discordant +elements of the New World into one homogeneous people. +For generations the Puritan hated the Cavalier, and the +latter gave back scorn for scorn and added compound +interest. This mutual dislike was a rank, infectious weed +that first took root across the sea and ripened into that +revolution which sent Charles the First to the block and +invested Cromwell with more than regal power. Some of +this virus, distilled in stubborn hearts by religious and +political intolerance, was carried by the Puritan to Plymouth +and by the Cavalier to the banks of the James, and +it survived even the fires of patriotism and the frosts of +Valley Forge. Bone of the same bone and flesh of the +same flesh, the religio-political doctrinaires had succeeded +in casting our forefathers in different molds--each colossal, +masculine, heroic, but radically antagonistic. Together +they followed Washington through those eight long +years of blood and tears of which human liberty was born. +Together they laid broad and deep the foundation of the +Republic and reared thereon that wondrous superstructure +which--please God--shall endure forever, and together +they poured their blood in one unstinted tide upon its +sacred shrine. But the Puritan was still a Cromwell +and the Cavalier a lord. That people so widely divergent +in customs and character could long dwell at peace as one +political household were preposterous. The one had his +"convictions," the other his "institutions," and neither +would yield the right-o'-way. When such opposing trains +of thought try to pass on a single track there's going to +be trouble sure. The friction, evident even in the early +day of the Republic, grew and gathered fire until the nation +burst forth in that mighty conflagration whose pathetic +ashes repose in a million sepulchers. It had to come. Let +us thank God that the fierce baptism of fire is in the past +and not yet to be; that the bitter cup can never be pressed +to our children's lips; that never again while the world +stands and the heavens endure will Americans meet in battle- +shock! that never again will our rivers run red with +the blood of Columbia's brave, poured forth by her own +keen blade--that the last stumbling-block hath been +removed from our path of progress; that we can now move +forward with a giant's stride to that high destiny for +which the chastening hand of God hath fitted us, the +greatest nation and the grandest people in all the mighty +tide of Time! + +I rejoice to see the veterans setting the example of +reconciliation, for they, more than all others, have most +to forgive and forget. I am doubly gratified that the +good work should have begun in Texas, which has such +cause to entertain the kindliest feeling toward every +section of our common country, for each and all contributed +to her past glory and present greatness. Among those +who cast their lot in Texas when every step was a challenge +to destiny and every hour was darkened by a danger; +who faced unflinchingly the trials of frontier life and +carved out an independent republic with the sword, were +men from every State of the American union. One instance +will suffice (though scores might be cited) to illustrate +the cosmopolitan character of that band of heroes +who made the early history of Texas one of the noblest +cantos in the mighty Anglo-Saxon epic. The New Orleans +Grays was the first military company to come from +the States to the aid of the struggling Texans. It got its +first baptism of fire in this city, being a part of that band +of 300 Spartans who followed Old Ben Milam to attack +General Cos and his 1,500 veterans. From the roster of +the Grays I learn that the company numbered but sixty- +four men, yet represented sixteen sovereign States and six +foreign countries! Think of it! Twenty-five came from +north of the Ohio, twenty-four from the Southern States, +fourteen across far seas to fight for Texas liberty, while +one brave lad came from God knows where, but he got +there just the same! General Cos never inquired where +Milam's men were born. He knew where his own were +dying, decided that San Antonio had been overrated as a +health resort and took to the chaparral. + +As most of those daring spirits who flocked hither to +fight for Texas remained, and ever since a steady human +tide has poured in from all parts of the Union, and every +country of Western Europe, we have become a mixed people, +scarce daring to throw a rock in any direction lest +we hit our relatives. And the cosmopolitan character of +our people--the fact that the Puritan and the Cavalier +have blended here as nowhere else--will be found a powerful +factor in the attainment of a glorious future. + +It is particularly appropriate that the Blue and the +Gray should unite in observing the day that marks the +birth of Washington, that soldier-statesman who marshalled +our fathers under one flag and led them forth to the +defense of human liberty. Whatever may have since mis- +chanced, the trials and the triumphs of the Revolution are +our common heritage. As the Greeks of old, divided +among themselves, united to face a foreign foe, so did the +American, North and South, unite beneath the banner of +Washington and hurl down the gage of battle to Britain's +mighty power, and no historian has yet presumed to say +which was the better soldier. Washington belongs to no +section. He was truly an American, pre-eminently a +patriot. The nobility of his character was his very own; +the dazzling splendor of his undying fame is the brightest +jewel in Columbia's crown of glory, for it was born of the +dauntless valor and nurtured with the priceless blood of +a people whom kings could not conquer nor sophists deceive. + +A husband and wife, long estranged, met at the grave of +their firstborn, the child of their youthful strength. Their +strife had been bitter, their love had turned to hate, and +they elected to tread life's path apart. They stood, one +on either side, and looked coldly upon each other. Then +they looked down upon the little mound that held the +broken link with which God had bound their hearts. They +knelt and bowed their faces upon the cold sod that covered +the sacred dust of their dead. They stretched forth +their hands across the little grave, each to the other, and +the Angel of God washed all the bitterness of the years +from their hearts with a rain of penitential tears, and +sent them down life's pathway hand-in-hand, as in the old +days when Love was lord of their two lives and the lost +babe was cradled upon its mother's breast. + +This day the North and the South kneel at the grave +of Washington, their best beloved. The estrangement is +forgotten, the bitterness of the years passes like an uneasy +dream, they reach their hands each to the other across +the tomb, and the benediction of God falls upon a re- +united people. + +* * * +HUMBUGS AND HUMBUGGERY. + +THE GREAT AMERICAN PRODUCT + +Satan is supposed to have been the original Humbug; but +he's a back number now--must feel dreadfully antiquated +and useless among so many modern improvements. + +That the American people love to be humbugged long +since passed into proverb. Humbuggery may be called +our national vice, our besetting sin. Like liberty, it +appears to be in the very air we breathe, and we take to it +as naturally as we go into politics. Our entire social +system has become saturated with it. It is the main-spring +of many acts we loudly praise, the lode-star of men we +apotheosize, is oftimes the warp and woof even of the +mantle of charity, which, like a well-filled purse--or a +tariff compromise--covers a multitude of sins. + +There are various kinds and classes of Humbugs; but +reduced to the last analysis--stripped of the sugar- +coating by which they impose on the public--they are one and +all simply professors of falsehood. + +I am sometimes inclined to the view that humbuggery +is a disease, and that some doctor will yet discover a gold- +cure for it--will demonstrate that the bad habit is due +to microbes that get into a man's mind and make trouble +trying to turn around, or to bacilli that bore holes in his +moral character and let his honesty leak out; for the medical +fraternity has gravely informed us that kleptomania +(sneak-thievery by eminently respectable people) and +dipsomania (sottishness by the social salt of the earth), are +simply diseases that should be treated with pills and +powders instead of with penitentiaries and whipping-posts. +Now if a man will steal a saw-mill and go back after the +site simply because his pericardium is out of plumb or his +liver has gone into politics; will nurse a juicy old jag +until it develops into a combined museum and menagerie, +because his circulation has slipped an eccentric or his +stomach got out of its natural orbit, I submit, in all +seriousness that he might be physically incapacitated for +telling the truth by an insidious attack on his veracity by +the dreadful falsehood fungi, and that the best way to +restore his moral equilibrium--to remove him from the +category of chronic Humbugs--would be to fumigate him. + +The Lord once attempted to check the Humbug habit +by striking liars dead; but soon saw that such a plan +would prove more fatal than a second flood--that there +wouldn't be even a Noah's Ark picnic of us left--and +reluctantly relinquished it. Science has not yet succeeded +in mastering the disease; but just give it time and it will +save the world yet--will find a medical name for every +human frailty; will be able to tell, by looking at a man's +tongue, whether he's coming down with the mug-wump +malaria or the office-holding hysteria, and do something +for him before it's everlastingly too late. + +The very best of people have a touch of the complaint +--"the trail of the serpent is over us all." Even our +young ladies are said to be, to a certain extent, Humbugs. +I have been told that many of them wear patent complexions, +"boughten" bangs, and pad out scrawny forms until +they appear voluptuous Junos, and thereby deceive and +ensnare, bedazzle and beguile the unsuspecting sons of +men. I have been told that many of them who are soft- +voiced angels before marriage can give a rusty buzz-saw +cards and spades and beat it blind after they have +succeeded in landing the confiding sucker. But perhaps such +tales are only the bitter complainings of miserable +Benedicts who have been soundly beaten at their own game of +humbuggery. Marriage is, perhaps, the only game of +chance ever invented at which it is possible for both players +to lose. Too often, after much sugar-coated deception, +and many premeditated misdeals on both sides, one draws +a blank and the other a booby. After patient angling in +the matrimonial pool, one lands a stingaree and the other +a bull-head. One expects to capture a demi-god who hits +the earth only in high places; the other to wed a wingless +angel who will make his Edenic bower one long-drawn sigh +of ecstatic bliss. The result is that one is tied up to a +slattern who slouches around the house with her hair on +tins, in a dirty collar and with a dime novel, a temper like +aqua-fortis and a voice like a cat-fight; the other a hoodlum +who comes home from the lodge at 2 a.m. and whoops +and howls for her to come down and help him hunt for +the keyhole, and is then snailed in by a policeman before +she can frame a curtain lecture or find the rolling pin. + +. . . + +False Pride is the father of humbuggery, the parent of +Fraud. We are Humbugs because we desire that our fellows +think us better, braver, brighter, perhaps richer than +we really are. We practice humbuggery to attain social +position to which we are entitled by neither birth nor +brains, to acquire wealth for which we render no equivalent, +to procure power we cannot wisely employ. + +While proclaiming love of democracy we purchase peers +for our daughters. While boasting liberty of speech we +assail like demons those who presume to dissent from our +opinions in either religion or politics. + +History is full of Humbugs and liberty itself oftimes +but a gilded lie. No man is really free who is dependent +upon the good will of others for employment. There can +be no true liberty where Prejudice usurps the throne of +Reason. Men are slaves instead of sovereigns when they +suffer themselves to be held in iron thrall by political +dogma or religious creed, blindly accepting the ipse dixit +of things instead of exercising to the utmost the intelligence +which God had given them. + +I have said that charity itself is ofttimes a Humbug. It +is so when it becomes the handmaid of ostentation instead +of the true almoner of the heart; or when men give to the +poor only because it is "lending to the Lord," then expect +compound interest. + +That philanthropist is a fraud who, after piling up a +colossal fortune at the expense of the common people, +leaves it to found an educational or eleemosynary institute +when death calls him across the dark river. Knowing +that Charon's boat is purely a passenger packet--that +carries no freight, however precious--he drops his dollars +with a sigh; but determined to reap some benefit from +boodle his itching hand can no longer hold, he decrees that +it be used to found some charitable fake to prevent himself +being forgotten--some pitiful institute where a few +of the wretched victims of his rapacious greed may get a +plate of starvation soup, or a prayer-book, and bless their +benefactor's name. The very monument erected over +bones of the sanctimonious old skin-flint is a fraud; flaunts +a string of colossal falsehoods in the face of the world; +piously points to heaven--perhaps to indicate that Satan +refused to receive him and sent him back to St. Peter with +a request that he make other arrangements. + +Many of the martyrs whose memory we revere, of the +saints we apotheosize, of the heroes we enshrine in history, +are one-third fraud and two-thirds fake. The man who +ran grow in grace while his pet corn's in chancery, or lose +an election without spilling his moral character; who can +wait an hour for his dinner without walking all over the +nerves of his wife, or crawl out of bed in the middle of his +first nap and rustle till the cold, gray dawn with a brace +of colicky kids, without broadly insinuating that he was a +copper-riveted, nickel-plated, automatic, double-cylinder +idiot to ever get married, is a greater hero than he that +taketh a city. + +The place to take the true measure of a man is not the +market-place or the amen-corner, not the forum or the +field, but at his fireside. There he lays aside his mask +and you may learn whether he's imp or angel, king or cur, +hero or Humbug. I care not what the world says of him +--whether it crown him with bays or pelt him with bad +eggs; I care never a copper what his reputation or religion +may be: If his babes dread his home-coming and his +better-half swallows her heart every time she has to ask +him for a five dollar bill, he's a fraud of the first water, +even tho' he prays night and morn till he's black in the +face and howls hallelujah till he shakes the eternal hills. +But if his children rush to the front gate to greet him, +and love's own sunshine illumes the face of his wife when +she hears his footfall, you can take it for granted that +he's true gold, for his home's a heaven, and the Humbug +never gets that near the great white throne of God. He +may be a rank atheist and a red-flag anarchist, a Mormon +and a mugwump; he may buy votes in blocks-of-five and +bet on the election; he may deal 'em from the bottom of +the deck and drink beer till he can't tell a silver dollar +from a circular saw, and still be an infinitely better man +than the cowardly little Humbug who's all suavity in +society, but who makes his home a hell--who vents upon the +hapless heads of wife and children the ill-nature he would +like to inflict on his fellow-men, but dares not. I can +forgive much in that fellow mortal who would rather make +men swear than women weep; who would rather have the +hate of the whole he-world than the contempt of his wife +--who would rather call anger to the eyes of a king than +fear to the face of a child. + +The hero is not he that strives with the world for +witness--who seeks the bubble fame at the cannon's brazen +lip and risks his life that he may live forever. + +"Think not that helm and harness are signs of valor true; + Peace hath higher tests of manhood than battles ever knew." + +To bear with becoming grace the slings and arrows of +outrageous fortune; to find our heaven in others' happiness, +and for their sake to sacrifice and suffer wrongs that +might be righted with a thread of steel; to live an honest +life in a land where Truth doth feed on crusts while Falsehood +fattens at Lucullean feasts, requires more true manhood, +more moral stamina, more unadulterated SAND than +to follow a flag into the very jaws of hell or die for the +faith in the auto da fe. Heroes? Why unurn the ashes +of the half-forgotten dead and pore o'er the musty pages +of the past for names to glorify? If you would find heroes +grander, martyrs more noble and saints of more sanctity +than Rubens ever painted or immortal Homer sang; +who, without Achilles' armor, have slain an hundred +Hectors; without Samsonian locks have torn the lion; without +the sword of Michael have thrown down the gage to all +the embattled hosts of hell, seek not in the musty tomes +of history, but in the hearts and homes of the self-sacrificing +wives and mothers of this great world. + +"God could not be everywhere," says the proverb, +"therefore he made mothers." + +Let the heroes of history have their due; still I imagine +the world would have been much the same had Alexander +died of cholera-infantum or grown up a harmless dude. +I don't think the earth unbalanced would from its orbit +fly had Caesar been drowned in the Rubicon, or Cleveland +never been born. I imagine that Greece would have humbled +the Persian pride had there been no Thermopylae, +that Rome would have ruled the world had Scaevola's good +right hand not hissed in the Tuscan fire. It is even +possible that civilization would have stood the shocks had +"Lanky Bob" and "Gentleman Jim" met on Texas soil +--that the second-term boom of "our heroic young Christian +governor" would have lost no gas. One catfish does +not make a creek nor one hero a nation. The waves do +not make the sea, but the sea furnishes forth the waves. +Leonidas were lost to history but for the three hundred +nameless braves who backed his bluff. Had there been but +one Cromwell Charles the First would have kept his head. +In Washington's deathless splendor gleams the glory of +forgotten millions, and the history of Bonaparte is written +with blood of the unknown brave. + +. . . + +Humbuggery, fraud, deception everywhere. + + "All the world's a stage + And all the men and women merely players"-- + + +Momus the major-domo, the millions en masque. Even +friendship is becoming a screaming farce, intended to promote +the social fortune or fill the purse. We fawn that +thrift may follow; are prodigal of sweet words because +they cost nothing and swell the sails of many a rich +argosy; but weigh every penny we put forth, and carefully +calculate the chance of gain or loss. It's heads I win, +tails you lose, and when we cannot play it on that principle +we promptly jump the game. + + "Who steals my purse steals trash." + +That's Shakespeare. + +"He that filches from me my good name . . . makes +me poor indeed." + +That's nonsense. Reputation is but the ephemeral dew +on character's everlasting gold; but he that steals a +human heart and tramples it beneath his brutal heel; he +that feigns a friendship he does not feel; he that fawns +upon his fellows and hugs them hard and after scandals +them, is the foulest fraud in all this land of fakes, the +most hideous Humbug in all hell's unclean hierarchy. + +I am sometimes tempted to believe that the only +friendship that will stand fire is that of a yellow dog for a +pauper negro. Strike a friend for a small loan and his +affection grows suddenly cold; lose your fortune and your +sweetheart sends you word that she will be a sister to you; +your brother will betray you for boodle, your father fights +you for a foolish flag and your heirs-at-law will dance +when they hear of your death; but the devotion of a +yaller dog for a worthless nigger hath all seasons for its own. + +. . . + +But the Humbug for whom I have least use is the man +who assiduously damns the Rum Demon; makes tearful +temperance talks; ostentatiously votes the prohibition +ticket; groans like a sick calf hit by a battering-ram +whenever he sees a young man come out of a barroom; then +sneaks up a dirty alley, crawls thro' the side door of a +second-class saloon; calls for the cheapest whiskey in the +shop, runs the glass over trying to get the worth of his +money; pours it down at a gulp and scoots in a hurry lest +somebody ask him to treat; who has a chronic toothache +--in the stomach--which nothing but drugstore whiskey +will relieve; who keeps a jug of dollar-a-gallon bug-juice +hid under his bed and sneaks to it like a thieving hyena +digging up a dead nigger--rents his property for saloon +purposes, then piously prays the Lord to protect the +young from temptation. + +. . . + +But perhaps the prince of Humbugs, the incarnation of +fraud, the apotheosis of audacity, is the street-corner +politician. He towers above his fellow fakes like Saul above +his brethren. I have been time and again instructed in +the most intricate problems of public polity--questions +that have perplexed the wisest statesmen of the world-- +by men who had never read a single standard work on +political economy, and who could not tell to save their +souls--granting that they possess such perishable property-- +whether Adam Smith wrote the "Wealth of Nations" +or the Lord's Prayer; who were not familiar with +the constitution of their own state, or the face of a +receipted wash-bill; who could scarce tell a sloop from a ship, +a bill of lading from a sight draft; a hydraulic ram from +a he-goat unless they were properly labeled. Yet no +question can arise in metaphysics or morals, government or +generalship, upon which these great little men do not presume +to speak with the authoritative assurance of a Lord +Chief Justice--or a six-foot woman addressing a four-foot +husband. They invariably know it all. They could teach +Solomon and the Seven Wise Men wisdom, and had they +been on earth when Almighty God wrote the Ten +Commandments they would have moved an amendment or +drafted a minority report. + +And these are the fellows who frame our political +platforms and dominate our elections--whose boundless +cupidity, colossal ignorance and supernal gall bring about +starvation in a land of plenty--divide the most industrious +and progressive people that ever graced the footstool of +Almighty God into bloated millionaires and groveling +mendicants. + +Even patriotism has become a Humbug--has been supplanted +by partisanship, and now all are for party and +none are for the state. On July 4 we shout for the old +flag, and all the rest of the year we clamor for an +appropriation. The man who is kicked by a nightmare while +dreaming of the draft demands a pension and every burning +patriot wants an office. Twice, yea, thrice within the +memory of men now living, America has been on the very +verge of an industrial revolution, a Reign of Terror; yet +we continue to hang our second Providence on a job-lot of +political Jacksnipes who carry their patriotism in their +pockets and their sense under their surcingles. While we +who feed three times a day; who have a cocktail every +morning and a clean shirt occasionally, are boasting of our +allegiance to "the grand old party," or prating of the +principles of Jeffersonian democracy--are blindly trailing +in the wake of some partisan band-wagon like a brindle calf +behind a Kansas hay-cart-this nation, born of our +father's blood and sanctified by our mothers' tears, is +dominated by political self-seekers who have taken for their +motto, "After us the deluge." + +Once after holding forth at some length on Humbugs, +a physician said to me: + +"Ah-er--you-ah--didn't mention the medical profession." + +"No," I replied, "the power of language hath its limits." + +The medical, mark you, is the noblest of all professions. +It contains many learned and able men who devote their +lives unselfishly to the amelioration of human misery; but I +much doubt whether one-half the M. D.'s now sending people +to the drug stores with cipher dispatches, could tell +what was the matter with a suffering mortal were he +transparent as glass and lit up by electricity. There are +doctors doping people with powerful drugs, who couldn't tell +whether a patient had a case of cholera-morbus or was +afflicted with an incurable itch for office--who have +acquired their medical information from the almanacs and +could not distinguish between a bunion and a stone-bruise +or find the joints in a string of sausage with a search- +warrant. + +I have noticed that when the doctors took to writing +their prescriptions in Latin it quickly became a dead +language--that when I take the poet's advice and throw +physic to the dogs, their numbers rapidly decrease. But +the doctors are jolly good fellows. Let it be recorded to +their eternal credit, that, whatever may be their faults, +precious few of them will practice in their own families. I +have often wished that I was a doctor of medicine instead +of a doctor of divinity. There are several fellows for +whom I'd like to prescribe. There's a strong affinity +between the two professions. The D. D.'s deal in faith and +prayer, the M. D.'s in faith and pills. + +I have been frequently asked why, in lecturing on +Humbugs, I skip the lawyers. There are some subjects to +which a lecturer must lead up gradually; so I discuss the +doctors in my discourse on Humbugs and save the attorneys +for my talk on Gall. + +Even our boasted educational system is half a Humbug. +Too many of our professors fondly imagine that when +they have crammed the dry formulas of half a dozen +sciences into a small head--perhaps designed by the Deity +to furnish the directive wisdom for a scavenger cart; when +they have taught a two-legged moon-calf to glibly read in +certain dead languages things it can in nowise comprehend +--patiently pumped into it a whole congeries of things +that defy its mental digestive apparatus--that it is +actually educated, if not enlightened. And perhaps it is-- +after the manner of the trick mule or the pig that plays +cards. The attempt of Gulliver scientists to calcine ice +into gunpowder were not more ridiculous than trying to +transform a fool into a philosopher by the alchemy of +education. If it be a waste of lather to shave an ass, what +must it be to educate an idiot? True education consist in +the acquirement of useful information; yet I have seen +college graduates--even men sporting professional sheep- +skins--who couldn't tell whether Gladstone's an English +statesman or an Irish policeman. They knew all about +Greek roots but couldn't tell a carrot from a parsnip. +They could decipher a cuneiform inscription, perhaps, and +state whether a pebble belonged to the paleozoic or some +other period; but couldn't tell a subpoena from a search- +warrant, a box of vermicelli from a bundle of fishworms. + +We pore over books too much and reflect too little; +depend too much on others, too little upon ourselves. We make of +our heads cold-storage warehouses for other +people's ideas, instead of standing up in our own independent, +god-like individuality. Bacon says that reading makes a +full man. Perhaps so, but it makes a great deal of difference +what a fellow's full of. Too many who fondly imagine +themselves educated, much resemble Mark Twain's frog +with its stomach full of shot--they are crushed to earth +by the things they have swallowed. + +Neither the public nor any other school system has ever +produced one really great man. Those who occupy the +dais-throne among the immortals, contended single-handed +with the darkness of ignorance and the devil of dogmatism. +Columbus scorned the schools and discovered a world. +Napoleon revolutionized the science of war and himself +master of Europe. Bismarck mocked at precedent, and +United Germany stood forth a giant. Jesus of Nazareth +ignored the learning of the Levites, and around the world +arose the fanes of a new faith. + +Reading is the nurse of culture; reflection the mother +of genius. Our great religions were born in the desert. +Our grandest philosophers budded and burgeoned in the +wilderness. The noblest poesy that ever swept the human +harpsichord was born in the brain of a beggar, came bubbling +from the heart of the blind; and when all the magi +of the Medes, and all the great philosophers of Greece had +failed to furnish forth a jurisprudence just to all, semi- +barbarous Rome laid down those laws by which, even from +the grave of her glory, she still rules the majestic world. + +I have been accused of being the enemy of education; +but then I have been accused of almost everything; so one +count more or less in the indictment doesn't matter. I +am not opposed to education that is useful; but why should +we pay people to fill the empty heads of fools with soap +and sawdust? + +Perhaps the most aggressive fraud that infects the earth +is the professional atheist--the man whose chief mental +stock-in-trade consists of doubt and denial of revealed +religion, so-called. + +About the time a youngster first feels an irresistible +impulse to make a fool of himself wherever a female smiles +upon him; when he's reached that critical stage in life's +journey when he imagines that he knows much more than +his father, he began to doubt the religion of his mother; +shrewdly asks his Sunday-school teacher who made God; +demonstrates by the aid of natural history diagrams, that +a large whale could in nowise swallow a small prophet-- +that if he did succeed in relegating him to its internal +economy it were impossible for him to slosh around for three +days and nights in the gastric juices without becoming +much the worse for wear. He attempts to rip religion up +by the roots and reform the world while you wait, but soon +learns that he's got a government contract on his hands, +--that the man who can drive the Deity out of the hearts +and homes of this land can make a fortune turning artesian +wells inside out and peddling them for telegraph poles. +You can't do it, son. Religion is the backbone of the body +social. Sometimes it's unbending as a boarding-house biscuit, +and sometimes it's a bad quality of gutta-percha; but +we couldn't get far without it. Most youths have to pass +thro' a period of doubt and denial--catch the infidel +humor just as they do the measles and mumps, but they +eventually learn that the fear of God is the beginning of +wisdom. + +There was never an atheistical book written; there was +never an infidel argument penned that touched the CORE of +any religion, Christian or Pagan. Bibles, Korans, +Zandevestas--all sacred books--are but the feeble efforts of +finite man to interpret the infinite; to speak forth the +unspeakable; to reduce to intelligible human characters +the flame-written hieroglyphs of the sky. Who made +God? Suppose, Mr. Atheist, that I find thee an answer? +Who will furnish thee with an intellect to understand it? +How will you comprehend the genesis of a God when the +wisest man for whom Christ died cannot tell why water +runs down hill instead of up--cannot understand the basic +principle of the law of gravitation--cannot even guess +why Gov. Culberson encouraged the managers of Corbett +and Fitzsimmons to bring the mill to Texas, then knocked +it out at a special session of the legislature at the expense +of the general public. + +An atheist once solemnly assured me that he couldn't +possibly BELIEVE anything which he couldn't PROVE; but +when I asked him what led him to take such a lively +interest in the welfare of his wife's children, he became +almost as angry as a Calvinist whose confession of faith had +been called in question. Figure up how many things you +can PROVE of those you BELIEVE, and you'll find that you +have got to do a credit business or go into intellectual +bankruptcy. + +But the man who denies the existence of the Deity +because he cannot comprehend his origin, is even less a +Humbug than the one who knows all about him--the pitiful +dogmatizer who devotes his life to the defense of some +poor little guess-work interpretation of the mysterious +plans of him who brings forth Mazaroth in his season and +guides Arcturus with his sons. + +Dogmatism is the fecund mother of doubt, a manacle on +the human mind, a brake on the golden wheel of Christian +progress; and every dogmatizer, whether in science, politics +or religion, is consciously or unconsciously, a Humbug. +You KNOW, do you? Know what? And who told +you? Why, the man in whose mighty intellect was stored +the world's wisdom; whose words have come down to us +from the distant past as oracles, o'ershadowing even +Solomon and Shakespeare, wasn't quite sure of his own +existence. Men frequently tell me that what they SEE +they know. Well, they've got to drink mighty little +Prohibition whisky if they do; otherwise they are liable to +see things they'll need an introduction to. The wisest is +he that knows only that he knows nothing. Omniscient +God only knows. We--you and I--are only troubled with +morbid little-ideas, sired by circumstance and damned by +folly. We don't even know how the Democracy stands on +the silver question or what caused the slump in the late +election. +. . . + +The average human head, like an egg--or a crock of +clabber--absorbs the flavor of its surroundings. It is +chiefly a question of environment whether we grow up +Catholics or Protestants, Republicans or Democrats, +Populists or political nondescripts. And yet we adhere to +opinions we have inherited with all the tenacity of a dog +to a bone or an American miser to a ten dollar bill. We +assume that our faith political and our creed religious are +founded upon our reason, when they were really made for +us by social conditions over which we had little control. +We even succeed in humbugging ourselves into the belief +that we are the people and that wisdom will die with us, +when the fact is that our head is loaded with out-of-date +lumber--our every idea moulded or modified by barbarians +who were in the bone-yard before Methusaleh was born. + +Society is a vast organism in which the individual is but +an atom. It is a monstrous tree--a veritable Ygdrasyl-- +penetrating both the region of darkness and the realm of +light. Whatever its peculiarities--whether monarchical +or republican, Christian or Pagan--it is a goodly tree +when it brings forth good fruit--when its boughs bend +with Apples of Hesperides and in its grateful shade is +reared the shrine of God. Be it of what shape it may, it +is an evil tree when its fruit is Apples of Sodom and it +casts a upas-shadow upon the earth. If we cannot gather +grapes of thorns or figs of thistles, how can a society that +is essentially false foster that which is literally true? The +body social, of which we proudly boast, is producing dodos +instead of King Davids, peanut-politicians instead of +heaven-inspired poets, cranks instead of crusaders, +Humbugs rather than heroes. Instead of exercising in the +campus martius our sons cultivate the Henglish hawkcent +and the London lope. In the olden days the glory of the +young man was his strength; now it is his chrysanthemum +and his collar. And it is going from bad to worse in a +ratio of geometrical progression; for how can effeminate +men--a canesucking, primping, mincing, affected +conglomeration of masculine inanity and asininity beget +world-compellers. How can women who care much what +is on the outside and little what is on the inside of their +heads, and whom a box of lily-white, a French novel, a +poodle-dog and another dude will make superlatively +happy, suckle aught but fops and fools? + +Yet we boast of progress! Progress whither? From +the savage who knew nothing to the dude who know less. +From the barbarian who'd plundered your baggage, to the +civilized Shylock who'd steal the very earth from under +your feet. From that state wherein American sovereigns +however poor, considered themselves the equals of kings +and the superiors of princes, to that moral degradation +and national decay in which they purchase the scurvy +spawn of petty dukes as husband for our daughters. By +the splendor of God, I'd rather be a naked Fiji Islander, +dancing about a broiled missionary with a bull-ring in my +nose, than a simpering "sawciety" simpleton, wearing my +little intellectual apparatus to a frazzle with a study of +neckties! + +. . . + +Some of my critics have kindly suggested that the Lord +made a great mistake in not consulting me when he made +the world; thereby ascertaining just how I would like to +have it. I was not consulted anent the creation of the +Cosmos, and perhaps it is just as well for them that I +wasn't--they might not be here. Too many forget that +while the Lord made the world, the devil has been busy +ever since putting on the finishing touches. Why, he +began on the first woman before she was a week old, and he +has been playing schoolmaster to her sons ever since. I +confess to a sneaking respect for Satan, for he is pre- +eminently a success in his chosen profession. He's playing +a desperate game against omnipotent power and is +more than holding his own. He sat into the game with a +cash capital of one snake; now he's got half the globe +grabbed and an option on the other half. + +I have been called a defender of the devil; but I hope +that won't prejudice the ladies against me, as it was a +woman that discovered him. I confess to the belief that +Satan is a gentleman compared with some of his very +humble servants. We are told that he is a fallen angel +who found pride a stumbling-block--that he tripped over +it and plunged down to infinite despair; but tho' he fell +further than a pigeon could fly in a week, the world is +full of frauds who could not climb up to his level in a +month; who can no more claim kinship with him in their +cussedness than a thieving hyena can say to the royal +beast of Bengal, "Thou art my brother." They are not +fallen angels; they are risen vermin. They didn't come +down from thrones in heaven like falling stars; they +crawled up from holes in the earth like vicious little +pismires. What can proud Lucifer have in common with +the craven hypocrite, who prays with his lips while +plotting petty larceny in his heart? Imagine the lord of the +lower world seeking the microscopic souls of men who +badger, brow-beat and bully-rag their better halves for +spending a dollar for a new calico dress, then blow in a +dozen times as much with the dice-box in a bar-room, trying +to beat some other long-eared burro out of a thimble- +full of bug-juice or a schooner o' beer! I don't believe +Satan wants 'em. I think if they dodged the quarantine +officers and got in amongst those erstwhile angels now +peopling the dark regions of the damned, the doctors of +that black abode would decide that they were cholera +microbes or itch-bacilli and order the place fumigated. + +. . . + +But speaking of the devil--were any of you ever in love? +I'm talking about the sure-enough, old-fashioned complaint +that makes a man miss meals and lose sleep, write spring +poetry and misplace his appetite for plug tobacco; not +of the new-fangled varioloid that yields to matrimonial +treatment. There's a great deal of sugar-coated hum- +buggery about this thing we call love. It reminds me of +the sulphur and molasses my careful Presbyterian parents +used to pour into me in the gentle springtime. I +don't remember why they gave it to me; but it was +probably because they didn't want it themselves. Perhaps +they thought foreordination hadn't done much for me, and +they had best get me used to sulphur gradually. I remember, +however, that, like the average case of matrimony, +it usually contained a good deal more sulphur than syrup. + +Matches, we are told, are made in heaven; and I think +it likely, for Satan himself is said to have originated there. +I'll tell you how matches are usually made: By some +horrible accident John Henry and Sarah Jane become +acquainted. They have no more affinity than a practical +politician and pure spring water; but they dance and flirt, +fool around the front gate in the dark of the moon, sigh +and talk nonsense. John Henry begins to take things for +his breath and Sarah Jane for her complexion. The +young goslings get wonted to each other, and first thing +you know they're tied up until death or divorce doth them +part. And, had they missed each other altogether, they +would have been just as well--perhaps better--content +with other mates and made as enthusiastic a failure of +married life. + +Most people marry without really knowing whether +they're in love or not--mistake the gregarious habit for +the mystic fire of Hymen's torch, the pangs of a bad +digestion for the barbed arrows from the love-god's bow. + +But when a couple's really got what ailed Romeo and +Juliet they're in no more doubt about it than was the +man after he sat down on the circular saw to see if it was +running and found it the sole proprietor of a South American +revolution. They don't have to send their feelings +to a chemist for analysis and classification, nor take an +invoice of their affections to see if any have got away. +Love is really a very serious thing. Like sea-sickness, +everybody laughs at it but those who have got it. When +Cupid lets slip a sure-enough shaft it goes thro' a fellow's +heart like a Kansas cyclone thro' a colored camp-meeting, +and all the powers of hades can never head it off. + +Love is the most sacred word ever framed by celestial +lips. It's the law of life, the harmony of heaven, the +breath of which the universe was born, the divine essence +increate of the ever-living God. + +But love is like all other sweet things--unless you get +the very best brand it sours awful easy. + +. . . + +Of all the pitiful Humbugs beneath high heaven +commend me to those intellectual doodle-bugs who have +become Dame Fashion's devotees and devote all their +intellectuality to the science of dress--to the art of being +miserable a la mode. Thousands are today sailing about +in silk hats who are guiltless of undershirts; bedecked with +diamonds while in debt to the butcher for the meat on +their bones. Families that can scarce afford calico flaunt +Parisian finery, keep costly carriages while there's a +chronic hiatus in their cupboards, go hungry to bed six +nights in the week that on the seventh they may spread +a brave feast for fashionable fools. God have mercy on +all such muttonheads. They are the natural breeders of +good-for-naughts, for in such an atmosphere children +grow up mentally dwarfed and morally debased. + +Fashionable mothers commit their children to the care +of serving-maids while they sail out to soirees and +receptions--put their babes on a bottle while they swing round +the social circle. No wonder their sons grow up sapheads, +as destitute of backbone as a banana, as deficient in moral +force as a firkin of fish. Think of an infant Napoleon +nursing a rubber nozzle, of rearing a Brutus on patent +baby food, of bringing a Hannibal up by hand! You +can't do it. + +Why, if I had a woman of that kind to wife--a fashionable +butterfly whose heart was in her finery and her feathers; +who neglected her home to train with a lot of intellectual +tomtits whose glory was small-talk; who saved her sweetest smiles +for society and her ill-temper for the family altar--I say were I +tied to that kind of a female, do you know what I'd do? Eh? You +don't? Well--neither do I. + +There are some Humbugs, however, who merit our respect +if not our reverence--men who are infinitely better +than they would have the world believe. As the purest +pearl is encased in an unseemly shell, so, too, is many a +god-like soul enshrined in a breast of seeming adamant. +Many a man swears because he's too proud to weep, hides +a quivering soul behind the cynic's sneer, fronts the world +like a savage beast at bay while his heart's a fathomless +lake of tears. Tennyson tells us of a monstrous figure of +complete steel and armed cap-a-pie, that guarded a castle +gate, and by its awful name and warlike mien affrighted +the fearful souls of men. But one day a dauntless knight +unhorsed it and clove thro' the massy helm, when forth +from the wreck there came not a demon armed with the +seythe of death, but a beardless boy scarce old enough to +break a pointless lance upon the village green. So, too, +when with the sword Excalibur of human sympathy you +shear down thro' the helm and harness of some rough- +spoken man who seems to hate all human kind, you find +the soul of a woman and the heart of a little child. + +. . . + +Even our religion is ofttimes a Humbug, else why is it +that the good Christian woman--who says her prayer as +regularly as she looks under the bed for burglars--says to +the caller whom she cordially detests, "I am delighted to +see you;" when she's wondering why the meddlesome old +gadabout don't stay at home when she's not wanted elsewhere? +Why is it that when a good brother puts a five- +dollar bill in the contribution box he flashes it up so all +may see the figures, but when he drops a nickel in the slot +to get a little grace he lets not his right hand know what +his left hand doeth? Why is it that when you strike a +devout deacon for the loan of ten dollars he will swear +by all the gods he hasn't got it, when his pockets are fairly +bursting with bills? If his religion is not hypocrisy--if +he is not a Humbug--why doesn't he tell you in plain +United States that he would rather have Uncle Sam's +promise to pay than yours? Oh, people are becoming such +incorrigible liars that I've about quit trying to borrow +money. + +Too many people presume that they are full of the +grace of God when they're only bilious; that they are +pious because they dislike to see other people enjoy +themselves; that they are Christians because they conform to +certain creeds, just as many men imagine themselves honest +because they obey the laws of the land--for the purpose +of keeping out of the penitentiary. They put up +long prayers on Sunday; that's piety. They bamboozle a +green gosling out of his birthright on Monday; that's +business. They have one face with which to confront the +Lord and another with which to beguile their brethren. +They even acquire two voices--a brisk business accent and +a Sunday whine that would make a cub wolf climb a tree. +I am always suspicious of a man's piety when it makes him +look as tho' he had cut a throat or scuttled a ship and was +praying for a commutation of the death sentence. I could +never understand why a man who can read his title clear +to mansions in the skies--who holds a lien on a corner lot +in the New Jerusalem--should allow that fact to hurt him. + +I have great respect for true religion; but for the brand +of holiness that's put on with the Sunday shirt--that +makes a man cry ahmen with unction, but doesn't prevent +him selling 5 and 10-cent cigars out of the same box, oleo- +margarine and creamery butter out of the same bucket, +benzine and bourbon whiskey out of the same barrel; +which makes long prayers on Sunday and gives short +weights on Monday; which worries over the welfare of +good-looking young women, but gives the old grandames +the go-by; which fathers the orphan only if he's rich and +husbands the widow only if she's handsome--for that kind +of Christianity I have no more use than for a mugwump +governor who saddles his state with the expense of a +legislative session to gratify a private grudge against a brother +gambler. + +That religion which sits up o'nights to agonize because +a few naked niggers in equatorial Africa never heard Eve's +snake story, how Job scratched himself with a broken pie- +plate or the hog happened to be so full of the spirit of +hades; that robs childhood of its pennies to send prayer- +books to people whose redemption should begin with a bath, +while in our own country every town from Cattaraugus to +Kalamazoo--every city from the Arctic ocean to the Austral +sea--is overrun with heathen who know naught of the +grace of God or the mystery of a square meal; who prowl +in the very shadow of our temples of justice, build their +lairs in proximity to our public schools and within sound +of the collect of our churches, is an arrant Humbug, a +crime against man, an offense to God, a curse to the +world. + +. . . + +People frequently say to me, "Brann, your attacks are +too harsh. You should use more persuasion and less +pizen." Perhaps so; but I have not yet mastered the +esoteric of choking a bad dog to death with good butter. +Persuasion is well enough is you're acourting--or in the +hands of the vigilantes; but turning it loose on the average +fraud were too much like a tenderfoot trying to move a +string of freight steers with moral suasion. He takes up +his whip, gently snaps it as tho' he feared it were loaded, +and talks to his cattle like a Boston philanthropist to a +poor relation. The steers look round at him, wonder, in +a vague way, if he's worth eating, and stand at ease. An +old freighter who's been over the "divide" and got his +profanity down to a fine art, grabs that goad, cracks it +like a rifled cannon reaching for a raw recruit and spills +a string of cuss words calculated to precipitate the final +conflagration. You expect to see him struck dead--but +those steers don't. They're firmly persuaded that he's +going to outlive 'em if they don't get down and paw gravel +and they get a Nancy Hanks hustle on 'em. Never attempt +to move an ox-team with moral suasion, or to drown the cohorts of +the devil in the milk of human kindness. It won't work. + +. . . + +Oh, it's possible that you may disagree with me on +some minor points of doctrine. That's your blessed +privilege and I wouldn't deprive you of it if I had the power. +A pompous old fellow once called at the office of my +religious monthly to inform me that I was radically wrong +on every possible public question. He seemed to think +that I had committed an unpardonable crime in daring to +differ from him. I asked him to be seated and whistled +for the devil--the printer's devil, the only kind we keep +in the office of the ICONOCLAST. I told him to procure for +me a six-shooter, a sledge hammer and a boat. My visitor +became greatly alarmed. + +"Wh-what are you g-going to d-do?" + +"Do?" I replied. "I'm going to shoot the printers, +smash the press and throw the type into the river. What +in the name of the great Sanhedrin, is the use o' me +printing a paper if I can't please you?" + +Mr. Pomposity subsided somewhat, and I proceeded to +talk United States to him. + +"You say I'm wrong. Perhaps I am; but how in Halifax"-- +I think I said Halifax; anyhow we'll let it go at +that--"how in Halifax did you find it out? Who +installed you as infallible pope in the realm of intellect and +declared it rank folly to run counter to the ideas that +roost in your nice fat head?" + +He was one of those egotistical mental microbes or +intellectual animalculae who imagine that a man must be in +the wrong if he disagrees with him. And the woods are +so full of that class of fellows that the fool-killer has +become discouraged and jumped his job. + +Those who chance to think alike get together and form +a political party, a society or a sect and take it for +granted that they've got all the wisdom of the world +grabbed--that beyond their little Rhode Island of intellect +are only gibbering idiots and plotting knaves. When +a man fears to subject his faith to the crucible of +controversy; when he declines to submit his ideas to the +ballistae and battering-rams of cold logic, you can safely set +it down that he's either a hopeless cabbage-head or a +hypocritical Humbug--that he's a fool or a fraud, is full of +buncombe or bile. + +It is a difference of opinion that keeps the world from +going to the dogs. Independence of thought, doubt of +accepted dogmas, the spirit of inquiry--the desire to KNOW +--is the mighty lever that has lifted man so far above the +brute level that he has begun to claim kinship with the +Creator. Yet we say to our brother, "Thou fool," because +he takes issue with us on the tariff, or the proper +time in the moon to plant post-holes--even insist on +sending people to perdition who cannot see "the plan of +salvation" thro' our little sectarian telescope. + +Men of a mind flock together just like so many +gabbling geese, or other foolish fowl of a feather, each group +waddling in the wake of some flat-headed old gander, +squawking when he squawks and fluttering when he flies. +Because I decline to get in among the goslings and be +piloted about the intellectual goose-pond, I'm told that I +have no POLICY. Well, I hope I haven't. If I thought I +had I'd take something for it, dontcherknow! When I cannot +live among my fellows without surrendering my independence-- +forswearing freedom of speech and liberty of +thought; without having to play the canting hypocrite or +go hungry--to fawn like a flea-bitten fice to win public +favor--I'll make me a suit of leather, take to the woods +and chop bee trees. I'd rather my babes were born in a +cane-brake and reared on bark and wild berries, with the +blood of independence burning in their veins, than spawned +in a palace and brought up bootlicks and policy players. + +. . . + +I am sometimes inclined to believe that Life itself is a +Humbug--that the man who makes the best of it is the +one who escaped being born. We know not whence we +came or what for, whither we go or what we'll do when +we get there. True it is that life is not altogether labor and +lees--there's some skittles and beer; but the most of us +get more shadow than shunshine, more cholera-morbus +than cream. Man born of woman is of few days and full +of politics. The moment he hits the globe he starts for +the grave, and his only visible reward for long days of +labor and nights of pain is an epitaph he can't read and +a tombstone he don't want. In the first of the Seven +Ages of man he's licked, in the last he's neglected, and in +all the others he's a fair mark for the shafts of falsehood. +If he don't marry his first love, he's forever miserable, and +if he does, he wishes he were dead. By the time he has +learned wisdom he leaves the world, is hustled into a hell +of fire or an orthodox heaven, and for forty years I've been +trying to figure out which of these appalling evils to avoid. +In one place the climate is hot and unhealthy, in the other +the inhabitants never entertained an original idea--believed +everything they were told. Think of having to live +through all eternity with the strictly orthodox--people +who regard freedom of thought as foul blasphemy, millions +of immaculate bricks cast in the same mold! No +wonder there's neither marrying nor giving in marriage in +heaven. Just imagine a couple of love-sick loons having +nothing to do but spoon from everlasting to everlasting, +to talk tutti-frutti through all eternity--never a break +or breathing spell in the lingering sweetness long drawn +out! Amelia Rives Chanler or Ella Wheeler Wilcox +couldn't stand it. Nor could I. By the time I had lived +ten thousand years with a female who could fly, and had +nothing in God's world to do but watch me, I'd either raise +a revolution or send in my resignation. It is said that +Satan had an affaire d'amour while he was playing Seraph. +If the object of his affections wore feathers I don't much +wonder that he went over the garden wall. + +I suspect that the orthodox heaven and hell, of which +we hear so much, are Humbugs. I should know something +of those interesting ultimates--be qualified to speak ex +cathedra--for a doctor of divinity recently denounced me +as a child of the devil. In that case you behold in me a +prince imperial, heir-apparent to the throne of Pluto, the +potential master of more than a moiety of mankind. But +don't tell anybody that I've got a title, that I belong to +the oldest nobility, or all the Goulderbilts will be trying to +buy me. + +I promise you that when I come into my kingdom I'll +devise a worse punishment than physical pain. A soul is +an immaterial thing. You cannot flay it with aspic's +fangs nor kerosene it and set it on fire. A material hell +for immaterial mind were too ridiculous for a progressive +devil. But it is not necessary to be a son of Satan to build +a hell in which demons dance and sulphur-fumes asphyxiate +the soul. You may transform your own home into a valley +of Hinnom, a veritable Gehenna; or you may make of the +humblest cot a heaven, illumed by love and gilded with +God's own glory--a Beulah land where flowers forever +bloom, where perfumed censors swing and music throbs +and thrills sweeter far than Orphean lyre or song of +Israfeel. + +The orthodox heaven is a pageant of barbaric splendor, +of gaudy tinsel and flaming gold to dazzle the eyes of +infants. It is a land of lotus-eaters, where ambition's star +is blotted from the firmament and the wild ecstasy of +passion beats no longer in the blood; an Oriental heaven, a +Paradise for tired people eternal dolce far niente for +niggers and yaller dogs. No Celt or Saxon with aspiring +mind, with swelling muscles and heart that flames with the +fierce joy of strong endeavor, that thrills with the sweetness +of sacrifice for others' sake that swells with the mad +glory of triumph in the forum or the field, could have +conceived such a futile farce. + +Give me a land whose skies are lead and soil is sand, yet +everlasting life with those I love; give me a lodge in some +vast wilderness hallowed by children's laughter; give me +a cave in the mountain crag to house those dearest to my +heart; give me a tent on the far frontier, where, by the +lambent light of their mother's eyes, I may watch my +children grow in grace and the truth of God, and I'll build +a heaven grander, nobler, sweeter than was ever dreamed +of by the gross materialists of bygone days. + +. . . + +Life is a Humbug only because we make it so. We are +frauds because we are fools. This is a beautiful, a glorious +world, fit habitation for sons of the Most High God. It +is a fruitful mother at whose fair breast all her children +may be filled. There should be never a Humbug nor a +hypocrite, never a millionaire nor a mendicant on the great +round globe. Labor should be but healthful exercise to +develop the physical man--to furnish forth a fitting casket +for the godlike mind, appropriate setting for the immortal +soul. The curse of life arises from a misconception of its +significance. We delve in the mine for paltry gems, explore +old ocean's deep for pearls; we toil and strive for gold +until the hands are worn and the heart is cold; we attire +ourselves in Tyrean purples and silks of Ind and strut +forth in our gilded frippery on the narrow bridge of time, +between the two eternities; we despoil the thin purse of the +poor to erect brazen altars and priceless fanes, when the +whole earth's a sacred shrine, the universe a temple through +which rings the voice of God and rolls the eternal melody +of the spheres. + +. . . + +Perhaps it is unnecessary to state that I'm not posing +as a saint. I may eventually become an angel--of some +sort--but I'll wear no wings. We are accustomed to think +of seraphs flying from heaven to earth, flitting from star +to star--irrespective of the fact that feathers are useless +where there's no atmosphere. An angel working his wings +to propel himself through a vacuum were as ridiculous as +a disembodied spirit riding a bike down a rainbow. + +I do not expect to reform all Humbugs, to banish all +Fakes, to exterminate all Folly. If the world should get +too good, I might have to hunt another home. I can +understand every crime in the calendar but the crime of +greed, every lust of the flesh but the lust for gain, every +sin that ever damned a soul but the sin of selfishness. By +all the sacred bugs and beasts of ancient Egypt, I'd rather +be a witch's cat--or even a politician--and howl in sympathy +with my tribe; I'd rather be a tramp and divide my +handouts with one more hungry; I'd rather be a mangy +yellow dog without a master and keep the company of my +kind, than to be a multi-millionaire, with the blood of a +snake, the heart of a beast, and carry my soul, like Pedro +Garcia, in my purse. + +When I think of the three thousand children in the single +city of Chicago without rags to shield their nakedness +from the keen north wind; of the ten thousand innocents, +such as Christ blessed, who died in New York every year +of the world for lack of food; of the millions in every +country whose cries go up night and day to God's great throne +--not for salvation, but for soup; not for the robe of +righteousness, but for a second-hand pair of pants--and then +contemplate those beside whose hoarded wealth the riches +of Lydia's ancient kings were but a beggar's patrimony, +praying to Him who reversed the law of nature to feed +the poor, I long for the mystic power to coin sentences +that sear like sulphur-flames come hot from hell, and weave +of words a whip of scorpions to lash the rascals naked +through the world. + +We humbug our parents, the public, and then, as far as +possible, our wives; though the latter are seldom so blind +as they seem. The wife who cannot tell when her lord and +master is lying--whether he's been sitting up with a sick +friend or nursing a Robert-tail flush--well, she must be +the newest kind of a "New Woman," with a brain built +for bloomers and bike. The New Woman is--she is all +right; just the Old Woman in disguise, a paradox and a +coat of paint. + +Whenever I tackle this subject I'm reminded of a broth +of a boy who in days agone drove the team afield on my +father's farm. One rare June day, when the sun was +slowly sinking in the west, as the novelists say--and I +believe that's where Old Sol usually sinks--he got mixed up +with a bevy of industrious bumble-bees who were no +respecters of persons--would sting an honest delver as +quickly as they'd put the gaffles to a scorbutic duke. In +about two minutes Mike came over the hill a-whooping like +a segment of the Southern Confederacy reaching for a +nigger regiment, his head the size and shape of a red peck +measure that had been kicked by a roan mule. + +"Sure, now, they didn't do a thing t' me," he said. "An +ould bumblebug came a bizzin' an' a buzzin' aluken fer all +the wurruld like an' Orangeman wid wings, so I up an' +hit him a biff. Thin all the 'rist av the haythen tuk up his +foight--an' Oi kem home." + +Hit one Humbug and every Fraud and Fake in Christendom +is ready for the fray. They attempt to crush +their critic with calumny, to defeat him with falsehood. +When you hear a fellow railing at the ICONOCLAST, just +look through its stock of caps and you'll find one that will +fit the knot on the end of his neck. + +Truth and only truth is eternal. It was not born and +it cannot die. It may be obscured by the clouds of falsehood, +or buried in the debris of brutish ignorance, but it +can never be destroyed. It exists in every atom, lives in +every flower and flames in every star. When the heavens +and the earth shall pass away and the universe return to +cosmic dust, divine truth will stand unscathed amid the +crash of matter and the wreck of worlds. + +Falsehood is an amorphous monster, conceived in the +brain of knaves and brought forth by the breath of fools. +It's a mortal pestilence, a miasmic vapor that passes, like +a blast from hell, over the face of the world and is gone +forever. It may leave death in its wake and disaster dire; +it may place on the brow of purity the brand of the courtesan +and cover the hero with the stigma of the coward; +it may wreck hopes and ruin homes, cause blood to flow +and hearts to break; it may pollute the altar and disgrace +the throne, corrupt the courts and curse the land, but the +lie cannot live forever, and when it's dead and damned +there's none so poor as to do it reverence. + +* * * + +[The following remarks, apropos local politics, were +included in Mr. Brann's Lecture on Humbugs, as delivered +at the Dallas, Texas Opera House, Oct. 17, 1895.] + +A discourse on political humbugs were incomplete without +some reference to the young man whom Texas, in a +moment of mental aberration, raised to the chief +magistracy. I learn from a sermon recently inflicted on the +long-suffering inhabitants of this city, that Son Charles +is "our heroic young Christian governor." How he must +have changed during the last few months! Shakespeare +was probably viewing the Texas politician with prophetic +eye when he declared that in the great Drama of Life +a man plays many parts. Culberson is the only one, +however, who has yet succeeded in playing them all at one +and the same time. A man who can run with the hare +politically while holding with the hounds personally, is +almost too versatile to be virtuous. "Our heroic young +Christian governor!" That preacher evidently doesn't +know Charles. Or if he does his idea of Christianity is not +so altitudinous that he can stand on its apex and keep the +flies off the man in the moon. Culberson is a politician who +enjoyed excellent health before he entered the public service. +He is all things to all men and--"nothing to nobody." +He's so slippery that he couldn't stand on the +partisan platform to which he owes his political elevation. +In the last gubernatorial election pretty much every man +who voted for Culberson felt that he had a lead-pipe +cinch on a fat office, and the remainder were certain he +would work four-and-twenty hours a day to put in effect +their pet reforms. They are wiser now. In 1890 Charlie +sailed into the attorney-generalship on the ample coat- +tails of one J. S. Hogg, and in less than thirty days he +was conspiring to retire his chief after one term and slip +into his official shoes. The trouble appears to be that the +youngster was pulled before he was ripe--before his +political integrity had time to harden, or his crop of wild +oats was well in the ground. + +Now I want it distinctly understood that I am not the +apologist of pugilism; I am the apostle of the white- +winged Goddess of Peace. I always carry a cruse of oil +in my hip-pocket to cast upon the troubled waters. I have +a pacific effect on all with whom I come in contact. +Children quit crying when they see me coming, women speak +well of their neighbors, men respect each other's political +opinions, preachers engage in silent prayer and the lion +and the lamb lie down together. And that's no lie. But +as between pugilism and hypocrisy I prefer the former. +I would rather see men pound each other for a fat purse +than play the canting Pharisee to promote their political +fortunes. + +. . . + +Let us look to the record of "our heroic young Christian +governor." During the four years he officiated as attorney- +general he made no determined effort to enforce the +law then in effect prohibiting pugilism. Prizefights were +pulled off at Galveston, San Antonio, El Paso and other +Texas points after having been duly advertised in the +daily press. He was elevated to the chief magistracy of +the state, and the slugging matches continued--mills +between brawny but unskilled boxers, who relied upon +brute strength, and pounded each other to a pumice to +make a hoodlum holiday. Some of these meetings were +especially brutal--as matches between amateur athletes +are likely to be; but "our heroic young Christian +governor" saw no occasion to get his Ebenezer up. He +simply sawed wood--didn't care a continental whether there +was a law prohibiting bruising bouts or not. + +And the ministerial associations were too busy taking +up collections to send Bibles and blankets, salvation and +missionary soup to the pagans of the antipodes to pay +much attention to these small-fry pugs. They let our +blessed "Texas civilization" take care of itself, while they +agonized over a job lot of lazy negroes whose souls ain't +worth a sou-markee in blocks of five; who wouldn't walk +into heaven if the gates were wide open, but once inside +would steal the eternal throne if it wasn't spiked down. +No Epworth Leaguers or Christian Endeavorers whereased, +resoluted or perorated until their tongues were +worn to a frazzle, trying to "preserve the honor of our +ger-rate and gal-orious State by suppressing feather- +pillow pugilism." Why? I don't know; do you? Of +course some carping critics declare it was because the world +was not watching these brutal slugging matches between +youths to pugilistic fortune and fame unknown; that it +was because the professionally pious had no opportunity +to make a grandstand play and get their names in print-- +no chance to POSE in the eye of the universe as the +conservators of our fin de siecle civilization. But then these +Doubting Thomases are ever ready to make a mock of +the righteous and put cockleburrs in the back hair of the +godly. I dislike to criticize "the cloth." I am prone to +believe that the preachers always do the best they know +how; still, I must confess that I am unable to muster up +much admiration for the brass band variety of "religion" +or the tutti-frutti trademark of "respectability." + +Had the belief not been bred in my bones that there +is a God in Israel, these little 2x4 preachers, with their +great moral hippodrome--their purblind blinking at +mountains and much-ado about molehills--would drive +me to infidelity. By their egregious folly, their fiery +denunciation of all men who dare disagree with them, their +attempt to make the State subservient to the church, to +establish an imperium in imperio--by their mischievous +meddling in matters that in nowise concern them, they +are bringing the beautiful religion of Christ into contempt-- +are doing more to foster doubt than did all the +Humes and Voltaires and Paines that ever wielded pen. + +Now don't get the idea that I am antagonistic to the +preachers. Far from it. I am something of a minister +myself; and we who have been called to labor in the +Lord's vineyard--at so much per annum--must stand together. +I admire the ministers in a general way--and +"whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth." I feel that it is +my duty to pull them tenderly but firmly back by the +little alpaca coat-tails whenever they have made mistakes +--to reprove them in all gentleness when I find them +fanning themselves with their ears for the amusement of +the mob. + +But to return to "our heroic young Christian governor." +When it was first proposed to bring the great fistic carnival +and a million dollars to Dallas, Gov. Culberson had +nothing to say. It was popularly supposed that he +understood the law and would respect it. The impression got +abroad that he felt rather friendly to the enterprise +because it would put 500 scudi in the depleted coffers of the +public and turn a great deal of ready money loose within +the confines of Texas. He may not have been directly +responsible for this popular idea, but he certainly did +nothing to discourage it. Arrangements were perfected, +important contracts entered into, a vast amount of money +invested that would prove a complete loss if the enterprise +collapsed. Then Culberson began to complain. He suddenly +discovered that pugilism was a brutal sport, which +should be suppressed. His conversion was as instantaneous +as that of Saul of Tarsus. It were an insult to the +intelligence of a hopeless idiot to say he did not know the +Corbett-Fitzsimmons affair would prove far less brutal +than a hundred fistic encounters which he, as attorney- +general and governor, had tacitly encouraged--but his +jewel of consistency had evidently gone to join his diamond +stud. Col. Dan Stuart didn't appear inclined to do +anything to ease the young man's agony, and it rapidly went +from bad to worse. The Hurt decision was rendered, and +the moral volcano of "our heroic young Christian governor" +began to erupt in earnest. He declared that he +would override the court of criminal appeals "if men +enough can be found in Texas to do it"--gave an excellent +imitation of an anarchist who is hungering for canned +gore. After this blood-to-horses'-bridles bluff he grew +quiescent--waited, Micawber-like, for something to turn +up. And still Dan Stuart didn't say a word. Then "our +heroic young Christian governor" broke out in a new +place. The legislature was convened in extraordinary +session to prevent a brace of pugilists smashing the immortal +ichor out of modern civilization. It was a great moral +aggregation--almost equal to Artemus Ward's Wax +Wurx! I am convinced of this, for it employed two doctors +of Divinity--at public cost, of course--to pray over +it a minute each morning, for $5 per diem each. Everybody +expected the president of the Florida Athletic Club +to go to Austin and make an earnest free silver speech. +Even the lawmakers were looking for him; but he didn't +go--and the result was what might have been expected. +The law-builders with the worst private records had the +most to say about public morality. Men whose I.O.U.'s +are not good in a game of penny ante; whose faces are +familiar to the inmates of every disreputable dive between +the Sabine and the Rio Bravo; who go to their legislative +duties from the gambling-room and with six-shooters in +the busts of their breeches, grew tearful over the +prospective "disgrace of Texas" by a manly boxing bout. +Hell hath no fury like a legislative humbug scorned-- +while he's holding his hand behind him. + +. . . + +But the wrath of "our heroic young Christian governor" +did not abate with the enactment of a law forbidding +prizefights--such a law as he had flagrantly failed +to enforce. The promoters of what the court of criminal +appeals declared a lawful enterprise were arrested and +dragged before the grand jury of Travis County, which +appears to have taken the entire earth under its +protectorate. Failing an opportunity to prosecute them for an +offense against the laws of the land, the powers at Austin +proceeded to prosecute them on the hypothesis that they +were conspiring to wreck the universe. + +And what was their offense? They had "conspired" to +pay $500 into the public treasury and bring a million more +to Dallas. They had "conspired" to bring several thousand +respectable business men to Texas from all parts of +the Union and furnished employment at good wages for +hundreds of hungry men. + +While I do not much admire pugilism as a profession, +I must say that the promoters of the enterprise conducted +themselves much better than did "our heroic young Christian +governor," and those alleged saints who proposed to +shoulder their little shotguns and help him override the +courts--to butcher their brethren in cold blood to prevent +an encounter between brawny athletes armed with pillows; +to sustain "modern civilization" by transforming the +metropolis of Texas into a charnel-house--to prevent, by +brutal homicide in the name of Christ, their neighbors +exercising those liberties accorded them by the laws of +the land. + +. . . + +Curious, this modern civilization of which we hear so +much. During the palmy days of Roman grandeur and +Grecian glory, their athletes fought with the terrible +cestus to win a crown of oak or laurel; but then Rome never +produced a Rev. Seasholes, nor Greece a Senator Bowser. +The Imperial City did manage to breed a Brutus and a +Cato, but never proved equal to a Culberson. Think of a +Texas legislature, composed chiefly of illiterate jabber- +whacks who string out the sessions interminably for the +sake of the $2 a day--imagine these fellows, each with a +large pendulous ear to the earth, listening for the +approach of some Pegasus to carry him to Congress--teaching +the aesthetics of civilization to the divine philosophers +of Greece and the god-like senators of Rome! Think of +Perry J. Lewis pulling the Conscript Fathers over the +coals--of Senator Bowser pointing out civic duties to +Socrates; of Attorney-General Crane giving Julius Caesar +a piece of his mind; of Charley Culberson turning up his +little two-for-a-nickel nose at the Olympian games! But +perhaps that is not the game "our heroic young Christian +governor" is most addicted to. + +. . . + +Prizefighting--even with pillows, for points--is bad +enough, no doubt; but there are worse things. Making +the Texas people pay for an abortive little second-term +gubernatorial boom is one of them, and canting hypocrisy +by sensation-seeking preachers is another. Can the church +and state find no grander work than camping on the trail +of a couple of pugilists? Are Gentleman Jim and Kangaroo +Bob the upper and nether millstones between which +humanity is being ground? Are these the only obstacles +to the inauguration of the Golden Age--that era of Peace +on Earth and Good Will to Men? The world is honey- +combed with crime. Brother Seasholes says there are 800 +fallen women in this city alone--and I presume he knows. +But if there be half so many, what a terrible story of +human degradation--more appalling even than soft-glove +pugilism! Our streets swarm with able-bodied beggars-- +young men, most of them, whom want may drive into +wickedness. Human life is cheap. Men are slain in this +alleged Christian land for less silver than led Judas to +betray Christ. Young girls are sold to shame, and from +squalid attics comes the cry of starving babes. The Goths +and Visigoths are once more gathering, imperiling civilization +itself, and belief in God is fading slowly but surely +from the earth. Want and wretchedness skulk in the +shadows of our temples, ignorance and crime stalk abroad +at high noon--the legions of Lucifer are overrunning the +land, transforming God's beautiful world into a veritable +Gehenna. The Field of Blood is filling, the prisons and +poorhouses are overflowing--crowded with wretched +creatures who dared dream of fame and fortune. The +great Sea of Life is thick-strewn with wrecks--millions +more drifting helpless and hopeless upon the rocks. From +out the darkness there come cries for aid; men pleading +for employment, women shrieking in agony of soul, little +children wailing with hunger and cold. And the winds +wax ever stronger, the waves run higher and higher, the +wreck and wraith grow ever more pitiful, more appalling. +And church and state pause in this made vortex of chaos +to prate of the ills of pugilism; to legislate and perorate +anent bloodless boxing bouts; to prosecute a brace of +harmless pugs. The people ask bread of the church and +it gives them a stone; they ask of the state protection of +their lives and liberties, and it gives them a special session +of the legislature--shoots doodle-bugs with a Gatling gun +--and sends them the bill! + +. . . + +But to recur for a moment to the fistic carnival: Have +any of you been able to determine how the Dallas News +stood in regard to that great enterprise? Sometimes, when +I want to go on an intellectual debauch, I read the News-- +or Ayer's Almanac. It appears to entertain but two +opinions, namely, that Uncle Sam should black the boots +of John Bull, and that Grover Cleveland carries the brains +of the world in his beegum. This brace of abortive ideas +constitute its confession of faith--the only things of which +it feels absolutely certain. When it tackles anything else +it wobbles in and it wobbles out like an unhappy married +man trying to find his way home at five o'clock in the +morning. A great diplomat once declared that language +was made to conceal thought; but the Dallas News +employs it to disguise an intellectual vacuum. It can use +more language to say less than any other publication on +earth. In this particular it is like Napoleon--it stands +wrapt in the solitude of its own originality. + +The eating of thirty quail in thirty days was once a +popular test of human endurance; but I can propose a +more crucial one--one that will attract more people to +Dallas than would even the Corbett-Fitzsimmons fight. +Let the people of this city offer a fat purse for the man +who can read the editorial page of the Dallas News thirty +days in succession without degenerating into a driveling +idiot. It is a mental impossibility, of course; but perhaps +my good friend "Dorry" can be persuaded to attempt +it--to hoist himself with his own petard. No man born +of woman will ever accomplish it. Massillon would +become a mental bankrupt within the month and Socrates +have to be tapped for the simples before reaching the half- +way house. + +The News is troubled with a chronic case of Anglo- +mania. Whenever Columbia has a controversy of any +kind with Britannia, the News hastens to ally itself with +the Britisher; but in matters concerning the welfare of +the city of Dallas it has little to say. It did manifest a +slight inclination to take up for the fistic enterprise-- +fearfully slid one foot to terra-firma; but when the success +of the carnival became doubtful the News hastened to +resume its time-honored position astride the fence, and it +has hung there ever since--like a foul dish-rag across a +wire clothes line. It's the greatest journalistic 'Fraid on +the face of the earth. It doesn't dare to risk the opinion +that water is wet. But probably it isn't sure of it. It is +just as well, however, for if it did know, it couldn't leak +the information in less than a column. The editorial page +of the Dallas News reminds me of the Desert of Sahara +after a simoon--it is such an awful waste of space. If I +had a five-year-old boy who couldn't say more in fifteen +minutes than the Dallas News has said in the last dozen +years, I'd refuse to father him. + +One of the greatest frauds of modern times is the policy- +playing newspaper. The "Archimedean lever," as applied +to daily journalism is a fake of the first magnitude. +There is not a morning newspaper in Texas possessing +sufficient political influence to elect a pound-master. In +fact, their support will damn any politician eternally, for +the people wisely conclude that what the alleged "great +dailies" support is a pretty good thing for them to +oppose. Hogg would not have reached the governorship +but for the blatant opposition of the morning press. Its +friendship for George Clark was the upas-shadow in +which he perished politically. There hasn't been an +important law enacted in Texas during the last ten years +that it didn't oppose. And yet men actually imagine that +they cannot succeed in politics, business or letters without +the assistance of that great "molder of public opinion!" +Let me tell you that every success this country has +witnessed during the past three decades was achieved despite +the morning press. To paraphrase Owen Meredith: + + "Let a man once show the press that he feels + Afraid of its bark, and 'twill fly at his heels; + Let him fearlessly face, 'twill leave him alone; + But 'twill fawn at his feet if he flings it a bone." + +* * * +BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. + +OR THE LADIES AND THE APOSTLE. + +[A synopsis of Mr. Brann's address to the Ladies' +Reading Club, San Antonio, Texas.] + +I have been asked to lecture to the ladies of the Reading +Club, but shall do nothing of the kind. That were to +admit that you require improvement, and I would not have +you better than you are. We would have to clip your +wings or keep you in a cage. Besides, I never saw a +woman whom I could teach anything--she already knew it. +I have been going to school to the ladies all my life. My +mother carried me through the kindergarten, lady +preceptors through the intermediate grade, and my wife is +patiently rounding off my education. When I graduate +I expect to go direct to heaven. As near as I can figure +it out, the inhabitants of the New Jerusalem will consist of +several million women--and just men enough to fill the +municipal offices. + + "I would not live always, I ask not to stay." + +No lecture then, but an informal talk, without text or +subject--a vagrant ramble through such fields as tempt +us. If we should find fruit, or even flowers, let us be +thankful. If we encounter only briars, it will not be the +first half hour we have wasted. + +The fact that you are members of the Reading Club +indicates that you are seeking knowledge. I trust that +you are finding it,--that every stroke of the intellectual +pick turns up a golden nugget; but do not make the mistake +of supposing that all the wisdom of the world is +bound in calf. You may know all that was ever penned in +papyrus or graved on stone, written on tablets of clay +or preserved in print and still be ignorant--not even know +how to manage a husband. As a rule people read without +proper discrimination, and those who are most careful +often go furthest astray. I once knew a woman with no +more music in her soul than a rat-tail file, who spent three +laborious years learning to play the piano, then closed the +instrument and never touched it again. One day I said to +her: + +"Mary, what good did all the patient practice do you?" + +"Lot's o' good," she replied; "I used to be dreadfully +ashamed to have people know that I COULDN'T play." And +a great deal of laborious reading is undertaken on the same +principle that Mary learned to play the piano--and is of +just as little benefit. Many people are with books as with +medicine--imagine that whatever is hardest to get down +will do them the most good. No mortal man--and, as the +preacher correctly stated, the men embrace the women-- +ever yet got any permanent good out of a book unless he +enjoyed its perusal. Jno. J. Ingalls says that everybody +praises Milton's Paradise Lost, but nobody reads it. +Ingalls is mistaken. Everybody making any pretension to +culture has read the book--as a disagreeable duty; but +that man don't live--at least outside of the lunatic asylum +--who can quote a dozen lines of it. Same with Dante's +Divine Comedia and a host of other books with which +people are expected to inflict their brains. Read few +books and those of the very best,--books that you enjoy. +Read them thoroughly; make them your very own--then +forget them as soon as possible. Having submitted to the +mental or moral discipline of another, decline to lean on +him, but stand up in your own independent individuality. +Don't be a copy. There is on earth no more pitiable person +than + + "The bookful blockhead, ignorantly read, + With loads of learned lumber in his head." + +Do not interpret too literally. What I warn you against +is the habit, all too common, of imagining ourselves rich +because we have counted the golden hoard of others. One +may admire the Medicean Venus without becoming a sculptor, +or have Plato at his fingers' ends and ever remain a +fool. Were I an artist I would study with attention the +works of all the great masters; but when I put my hand to +my own task I would turn my back upon them all and my +face to nature. My work would then be a "creation," +not a copy. Did I aspire to be truly learned I would +study the words of the world's wisest--then dig for wisdom +on my own behoof, I would thus become a philosopher +instead of a parrot. + +. . . + +I have been frequently called an iconoclast, and bad as +the title is popularly supposed to be, I trust it is not +altogether undeserved. I have striven to break foolish idols +and shatter false ideals, to hurl unclean gods from their +pedestals in the public pantheon. A work of destruction +is not, I admit, of a high order. Anybody may destroy; +it requires genius to build up. The wonder of the ancient +world sank to ruin irremediable beneath the torch of a +morbid dude who had rather be "damned to everlasting +fame" than altogether forgotten. A hungry wolf may +destroy a human life which Almighty God has brought +to perfection through long years of labor. But destruction +is sometimes necessary. The seas must be cleared +of pirates before commerce can flourish; the antiquated +and useless building must come down before the school- +house or business block can occupy the site. In the great +cities are men who do nothing but destroy old buildings-- +professional wreckers of those works of man that have +outlived their usefulness. They build nothing; but are +they, therefore, to be condemned? So in the social world, +a man may be a professional wrecker, without the constructive +ability to build a political platform on a piecrate, +and still be useful, indispensable. The wrecker of bad +buildings does not contract to put good ones in their +places; nor is the iconoclast under any obligation to find +a heavenly grace for every false god that falls beneath +his hammer, a saint for every sinner he holds up to scorn, +a new truth for every old falsehood he fells to earth. He +may, if he thinks proper, leave that labor to others and +go on, with brand and bomb, bludgeon and bill-hook, +wrecking, destroying--playing John the Baptist to a +greater to come after. + +A great many good people have taken the trouble to +inform me that I am a pessimist. Perhaps so; but I am +not worrying much about it. A pessimist is a person +somewhat difficult to define. The fool who smokes in a +powder-house, or believes that his neighbors always speak +well of him behind his back; the wife who encourages her +husband to pay court to other women on the supposition +that no harm can ensue; the banker who accepts a man's +unsecured note because he is a church member and powerful +in prayer, and the servant girl who lights the fire +with kerosene--then goes to join the angels taking your +household goods and gods with her--are certainly not +pessimists; they are only idiots. + +It is easy enough to say that a pessimist is a person +afflicted with an incurable case of mulligrubs--one whom +nothing in all earth or heaven or hades pleases; one who +usually deserves nothing, yet grumbles if he gets it. But +we should not forget that every reform this world has +known; every effort that has lifted man another notch +above the brute level; every star in our flag of freedom; +every line and letter in our constitution of human liberty; +every gem of knowledge that gleams in the great world's +intellectual crown of glory; every triumph of science and +religion, philosophy and mechanics was the work of +pessimists, so-called--of men who were not satisfied with the +world's condition and set determinedly to work to better it. +They strove with their full strength against those conditions +panegyrized and poetized by the smirking optimists +of their time, and thereby incurred the enmity of pedants +and self-sufficient purists,--were denounced and denied, +belittled and belied. + +But, says the enthusiastic optimist, things are not what +they used to be. When a college of cardinals gave Galileo +to the gaoler for maintaining that "the world do move;" +when Christ cast forth the money manipulators and purged +the porches of the temple of the disreputable dove dealers; +when Luther raised the standard of revolt and the Puritan +packed his grip there were cruel wrongs to right. But look +at us now! We've got a constitution and a Confession of +Faith, prize rings and Parisian gowns, sent missionaries to +Madagascar and measured Mars' two moons. Of course +we've made some mendicants, but please admire the +multifarious beauty of our millionaires! Who can doubt that +we've triumphed over the world, the flesh and the devil? +Have not the Spanish inquisition and the English Court of +High Commission gone glimmering? Do we bore the +tongues of Quakers or amputate the ears of non-conformists +as in Auld Lang Syne? Do we not run troublesome +wives into the divorce court instead of into the river, as +was once our wont,--scientifically roast our criminals with +electricity instead of pulling their heads off with a hair +halter? Do we not fight our political battles with wind +instead of war clubs? Have not our great partisan paladins +substituted gall for Greek fire? + +Progressing we certainly are, but the devil has adapted +the Fabian tactics and is leading us a wild dance through +unprofitable deserts. While we have been shattering +ethnic images he has been building new idols. While we +have been dragging the Phalaris Bull from its pedestal the +Golden Calf of ancient Israel has reached maturity and +maternity and its progeny is now worshipped in a thousand +pantheons. + +Everywhere the false and the true, the good and the evil, +the lambent light of heaven and the sulphurous shadows +of hell meet and blend. Nowhere, yet everywhere, floats +the white veil and flaming ensign of the modern Mokanna-- +and we stand wrangling about the proper cut of a collar; +debating whether the Gadarenes, whose swine the outcast +devils drowned, were Jews or Gentiles; dogmatizing anent +the proper form of baptism; doubting with which hand we +should tip the hat; wondering if Joseph's coat were a sack +or a swallow-tail--ninety-and-nine out of every hundred +wasting upon childish trifles the strength given us to do +the work of demi-gods--and every foolish breath, every +heartbeat bearing us across Time's narrow sands into the +broad bosom of that sea which hath no shore! + +What does the all-seeing sun that has for so many +centuries glared down upon this wretched farce-tragedy, think +of it all? And yet man boasts that he is the mortal image +of immortal God! It was for this trifling, straddling +biped, intent only upon getting his goose-head above the +foolish geese, that the Regent of the universe suffered +ignominy and death. I sometimes think that had the +Almighty cast the human horoscope he would never have +given Noah a hint to go in out of the wet. + +I am no perfectionist. I do not build the spasmodic sob +nor spill the scalding tear because all men are not Sir +Galahads in quest of the Holy Grail, and all women angels +with two pair o' reversible wings and the aurora borealis +for a hat-band. I might get lonesome in a world like +that. I do not expect to see religion without cant, wealth +without want, and virtue without vice; but I do hope to +see the human race devote itself to grander aims than +following the fashions and camping on the trail of the cart- +wheel dollar. I want to see more homes and fewer hovels, +more men and fewer dudes. I want to see more women with +the moral courage to brave the odium of being old maids +rather than the pitiful weakness to become loveless wives. +I want to see more mothers who would rather be queens +of their homes than the favorites of fashionable circles; +women who would rather have the love of their husbands +than the insolent admiration of the whole he-world--women +who do not know too much at 15 and too little at 50. + +I want to see more men who are not a constant reminder +of a monkey ancestry. Some philosopher once remarked: +"As between men and dogs, give me dogs." I have been +often tempted to indorse the sentiment--and I am not +much of a lover of dogs either. I want to see men who are +not fops in their youth, fools in their prime and egotists +in their old age--a race of manly men to whom life is not +a lascivious farce; whose god is not gold; who do not +worship at the shrine of the Pandemian Venus nor devote +their lives to the service of Mammon, "the least erect of +all the angelic host that fell from heaven." I want to see +men who scorn the pusillanimity of the policy-prayer, who, +--like Caesar, dare tell greybeards the truth e'en though +it cost a crown; men of leonine courage, men of iron mould, +men strong of hand and heart, who defiantly throw down +the gage to destiny--who can trample hell itself beneath +their proud feet, even while it consumes them. + +. . . + +The dream may be Utopian. I much fear it will never +be made a blessed reality by either philosophy or religion. +We have had both for forty centuries, yet the fool has +become ever more offensive and the liar has overrun the land. +Yet we imagine that because we no longer live in caves and +fight naked with the wild beasts of the forest for our food +we are away up at the head of the procession, with Greek +civilization distanced and all the other times and half times +nowhere. + +Human development, like the earth, the sun, the stars-- +like all things brought into being by the breath of Omnipotent +God--travels ever in a circle. Savagery and ignorance, +barbarism and ambition, civilization and sybaritism, +dudeism and intellectual decay; then once more savagery +and ignorance proclaim the complete circle,--that we have +traveled from nadir to zenith and from zenith to nadir-- +when once again we begin with painful steps and slow to +repace the path which carries us to the very verge of +godhood and wreathes our brows with immortal bays, then +brings us down--even while we think we mount--until we +touch a level beneath the very brute. Such has ever been +the world's history, and such it will ever be until a force +is found that can transform this circle into a straight line +--that can blend the rugged manhood of the barbarism +with the graces of our higher civilization and give us +wisdom without weakness and culture without cowardice; that +can incorporate us as corpuscles in the social organism +without eliminating every spark of God-like individuality, +making us helpless dependents upon social, political and +religious precedent. + +If the Car of Progress travels in a circle--and history +says it does; if neither science, philosophy nor religion can +deflect it from its seemingly predestined path--and the +condition of their birth-place proclaims their failure so to +do--where is hope? Must the human race forever go the +weary round of birth and death, like Buddhist souls wandering +through all that's fair and foul, until it finds Nirvana +in the destruction of the world? Not so, for there +is a hope--a blessed hope--that like. + + "A poising eagle burns above the unrisen morrow." + +That hope is in the union of all the mighty forces that +make for the emancipation of mankind,--a union of religion +and philosophy, science and woman. And of these +the first is the last and the last is the first in point of +power and importance. + +. . . + +When I reflect that until within comparatively recent +times women were slaves, I don't much wonder that the old +civilizations went to the dogs--that the millennium is not +yet due. Trying to make a civilization that would stick +without the help of woman were like building a cocktail +with a basis of buttermilk. God gave her to man to be an +helpmeet, not a plaything. I don't think that she can help +him much by going into politics, or becoming a crusading +she-Peter-the-Hermit while her own children need her care, +but I do believe that the wife and mother--that erstwhile +ignorant drudge, raised by God's great mercy to royalty-- +made Queen of the home, and thereby absolute Empress of +the great round earth--is to be the dynamics of a new and +grander civilization that can never recede; that the +womanly woman, self-poised as a star, pure as the polar +snows, fit companion for the true nobleman of nature, is +to be the Providence that will lead humanity, step by step, +ever onward and upward, until our cruel age of iron is +transformed into an age of gold in which there'll be neither +millionaire nor mendicant, master nor slave--in which +Selfishness will be considered the worst of crimes and Love +the all-powerful law. + +Such, ladies, is my dream of the future. You see, with +true mannish instinct, I throw the work of the world's +salvation upon the women. I don't know, however, but +it's retributive justice. If you got us fired out of the first +Paradise it is your duty to find another and put us in +possession. But really with all due respect to Sacred +Writ, I could never accept that serpent story without +considerable salt. My observation--and experience--has +been that men are much more addicted to the snake habit +than are women. I gather from Genesis that after the +Edenic reptile had done the damage it was condemned to +go upon its belly all the days of its life. That indicates +that it was not only a good conversationalist, but had legs. +Now I submit it to you in all seriousness: which member of +the original family was most likely to see such a serpent +as that? I think I should have given Adam the Keeley +cure, then crossexamined him a little before laying the +burden of the blame on Eve. If the latter was really the +tempter she was probably trying to reach the heart of +her hubby by that direct route, the stomach--lost heaven +for love, as too many of her daughters have since done. +The fact that Adam was not willing to father her fault +proved him unworthy of his wife, and the bad example he +set is too often followed by many of his sons--who attribute +all their trials and tribulations to the patient wives +whose watchful care keeps them out of the penitentiary. +Whatever may have been Eve's fortune, Adam was no great +loser by being ejected from Eden, for the man who +possesses the love of a good woman carries Paradise with +him wherever he goes. A woman's love can transform a +hovel into a heaven and fill it with supernal sunshine--and +her scorn can make perdition of a palace and put in all the +fancy touches. + +Woman is the only thing extant, if Genesis be believed, +that was not evolved from a solid slug of nothing. That +I presume, is why she amounts to something. Nothing was +good enough raw material of which to make the father +of mankind; but when the Almighty came to create our +common mother he required something more substantial +than a hole in the atmosphere. + +I always bank on a boy who has a good mother, regardless +of what the old man may be. The fathers of philosophers +have sometimes been fools, but their mothers never. +A wise man may beget dudes or a good man practical +politicians; but it's his misfortune, not his fault. The good +Lord expects no man to gather grapes of thorns or figs of +thistles. I have yet to hear of a single man who became +distinguished in any line of human endeavor according to +his father the credit for his greatness. Character is +moulded at the mother's knee, and in the light of her loving +eyes is born that ambition which buoys man up in a sea of +troubles--that drive him on through dangers and +difficulties, straight to the shining goal. + +The Nineteenth century marks the culmination of an era +of human triumphs, a brilliant coruscation of victories over +the cohorts of Ignorance and Prejudice; but its crown of +imperishable glory is the recognition that woman was +created to be man's companion and co-laborer instead of +his chattel, his joint sovereign of the earth instead of his +slave. Fronting the dawn of a grander day, her hand +ungyved and her brain unfettered; with broader opportunities +for usefulness and boasting a nobler beauty than +during the dark and dreary centuries that lie behind her +like a hideous dream--such is the woman of the Nineteenth +century, and upon the shapely shoulders of this new +Pallas I hang my second Providence, to her loving hands +I commit the destiny of the race, to her true heart the +salvation of the world. + +* * * +BRANN'S REPLY TO SLATTERY. + +[Ex-Priest Joseph Slattery, in his lecture at Waco, +Texas, in the interest of the A.P.A., bitterly denounced the +ICONOCLAST. During the Slattery lecture Brann rose, +pointed his finger at Slattery and said: "You lie and you +know it, and I refuse to listen to you." Brann then turned +on his heel and walked out. He then hired the same opera +house at his own expense and replied to Slattery.] + +Fellow Americans: The ICONOCLAST does not please ex- +Priest Slattery, "Baptist minister in good standing," and +I am not surprised. Its mission, as its name implies, is to +expose Frauds and abolish Fakes, to make unrelenting war +upon Humbugs and Hypocrites, hence it is not remarkable +that Slattery should regard its existence as a personal +affront. It is ever the galled jade that winces; or, to +borrow from the elegant pulpit vernacular of the Rev. Sam +Jones, "it's the hit dog that yelps." + +Slattery would have you believe that I'm a rank atheist +who's trying to rip religion up by the roots and bang it +across a barbed wire fence in close companionship with the +hides of Protestant preachers. This charge has been +hurled at me by various sectarian papers and malicious +ministers; but not one iota of evidence has ever been +submitted. It is simply a bald assertion born of sanctified +malice, a brazen libel, similar to that which charges the +Pope with trying to subvert the American government. I +defy Slattery and all that unclean brood of moral vultures, +assassins of character and thieves of reputation which trail +in his wake and applaud his infamies, to produce one line +I ever wrote, or quote one sentence I ever uttered disrespectful +of ANY religion, Pagan, Protestant or Catholic. +If in the wilds of Central Africa I should find a man bowing +down to a dried toad, a stuffed snake or a Slattery, +I'd remove my hat as a tribute of respect, not to his +judgment, but to his honesty. I have no word of condemnation +for any religious faith, however fatuous it may appear +to me, that has comforted the dying or consoled the living +--that has cast one gleam of supernal sunshine into the +dark vale where grope, each beneath his burthen of sorrow, +the sons of men. I am not warring upon religious faith, +but on falsehood; not upon Christ, but on those who disgrace +his cause--who mistake bile for benevolence, gall for +godliness and chronic laziness for "a call to preach." + +Nor have I taken the Pope of Rome under my apostolic +protection. The Popes managed to exist for a great many +years before I was born, and, despite the assaults of +Slattery, will doubtless continue in business at the old +stand for several years to come. I was raised a Protestant, +and--thank God!--I'm no apostate. I learned Protestantism +at my mother's knee, and from my father's pulpit; +but I did not learn there that the Church of Rome is the +"Scarlet Woman," nuns unclean creatures and priests the +sworn enemies of my country. I learned that but for the +Church of Rome the "glad tidings of great joy," which +Christ brought to a dying world, would have been irredeemably +lost in that dismal intellectual night known as the +Dark Ages. I was taught that for centuries the Church +of Rome was the repository, not only of the Christian +faith, but of civilization itself. I was taught that the +Catholic is the mother of the Protestant church, and that +no matter how unworthy a parent may be, a child should +not become the herald of its mother's shame. + +And while being taught my duty as a Protestant, my +education as an American citizen was not neglected. I was +taught that this was a land of religious liberty, where +every man is privileged to worship God in his own way, or +ignore him altogether: that it was my duty to insist upon +this right, both for myself and for my fellows. + +That is why I am the uncompromising enemy of the A.P.A. + +Any attempt to debar an American citizen from the +honors and emoluments of a public office because of his +religious faith, or non-faith, is a flagrant violation of a +fundamental principle of this Republic. And no patriot; +no man in whose veins there pulses one drop of the blood of +the Conscript Fathers, or who would recognize the Goddess +of Liberty if he met her in the road; no man imbued with +the tolerant spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ will aid or +abet such an un-Christian and un-American movement. +The A.P.A. is the bastard spawn of Ignorance and +Intolerance, was conceived in sin and brought forth in +iniquity. + +There may be some honest men connected with the +movement; but if honest they should get their heads +trepanned to give their brains room to grow. They are as +unable as a mule-eared rabbit to comprehend either the +broad principles upon which this government is grounded, +or its political and religious history. No man--not even +Judas Iscariot Slattery--is to blame for his ignorance; +so we should humbly pray, Father forgive them, they +know not what they do. Nor is the Church of Rome +responsible for the shameless apostate's lack of information. +It did all that it could to transform him from an +ignorant little beggar into an educated gentleman--but +even the Pope cannot make a silk purse of a sow's ear. It +is no fault of the Church of Rome that he's densely ignorant +of the very text-book truths of history; that he knows +nothing of that Reformation of which he talks so glibly; +that he is unable to comprehend the genius of the government +upon which he has conferred his more or less valuable +citizenship. The fault, if fault it be, lies with the +Almighty, who gave him a bad heart and a worse head. + +. . . + +American Protective Association, eh? That signifies +that Uncle Sam is in need of protection. I had hitherto +supposed that the gentleman in the highwater pants and +star-bespangled cutaway was able to protect himself; but +it now appears that unless he crawls under the aegis of the +redoubtable Slattery he is--to again borrow from the +most popular of all Protestant divines--"a gone sucker." +Think of placing Uncle Sam under the protection of a +man who is an apostate in religion and a renegade in +politics--of an Irishman who apostrophizes the British flag! +Think of that kind of a bird presuming to tell the grandsons +of Revolutionary soldiers their duties as American citizens. + +Slattery assures us that we need protection from the +Pope. There was a time when the proudest monarchs of +Europe trembled at the Papal nod; but gradually the Pope +has been shorn of temporal power, confined ever more to +the realm of spiritual, until to-day he exerts about as little +influence on the political destiny of this world as does Dr. +Cranfill with his little Prohibition craze. But Slattery +will have it that the Pope is gradually undermining American +institutions--leads us to infer that, sooner or later, +he'll blow our blessed constitution at the moon and scatter +fragments of the Goddess of Liberty from Dan to Beersheba, +from Cape Cod to Kalamazoo. The Pope, it appears, +is a veritable Guy Faux, who is tunnelling beneath +our national capitol with a keg of giant powder in one hand +and a box of lucifer matches in the other. What's the +evidence? Why, out in San Francisco, so Slattery says-- +but as Slattery's been convicted of lying it were well to +call for papers--a Catholic school-board was elected and +employed only Catholic teachers. The same awful thing +happened in Detroit--if Slattery's telling the truth, which +is doubtful in the extreme. Then what? With a pride +worthy a more American act, this illogical idiot informs us +that "when the Protestants captured the school-boards +of those cities they discharged every one of the Catholic +teachers and put only good Protestants on guard." And +at that Baptist brethren--with water on the brain--who +boast of Roger Williams, cheered so loudly as to be in +danger of lockjaw. In the exuberant imagination of +Slattery and his dupes there appears to be a wonderful +difference between tweedledum and tweedledee. It doesn't +seem to have occurred to them that what is sauce for the +Protestant goose should be sauce for the Catholic gander. +They damn the Catholics for doing the very thing for +which they commend the Protestant. That's the logic of +the A.P.A.--the Aggregation of Pusillanimous Asses. In +my humble opinion both were engaged in very small business. + +The only difference in the offenders that I can see +is that while the Catholics are saying nothing, the Protestants +are loudly boasting of their vicious subversion of +the American principle of religious liberty. The circumstance +is a sharp reminder that if we are to preserve a government +of the people, for the people and by the people, +we've got to keep religion of ALL kinds out of our politics, +just as the framers of the federal constitution intended +that we should do. Mixing religion and politics is like +mixing whiskey and water--it spoils both. + +Slattery would have you believe that our Catholic +citizens are simply emissaries of the Pope, to whom they owe +allegiance both spiritual and temporal, and that they will, +at the first opportunity, subvert American institutions and +make this Nation simply a satrapy of the Vatican. + +The American Catholic takes his theology from Rome; +he takes his politics from the ecumenical council of his +party--from the national convention of that partisan +organization to which he may chance to belong. + +That there can be no "Catholic conspiracy" against +the free institutions of this country must be evident to +every man of common sense from the simple fact that +Catholics are divided among all the political parties-- +are continually voting against each other. Now I appeal +to your judgment--lay aside your religious prejudices for +the moment and look at the matter from a non-partisan, +non-sectarian standpoint: If our Catholic fellow-citizens +be under the thumb of the Pope politically, as the apostate +now evangelizing for the A.P.A. would have us believe; +and if the Pope desires to make himself temporal ruler of +this land, or in any manner direct its affairs, would they +not be found voting as a unit--a mighty political machine +--instead of being as badly divided on secular questions +as the Baptists themselves? San Antonio is a Catholic +stronghold, yet a prominent Roman Catholic was overwhelmingly +defeated in the last mayoralty election. And +I could cite you hundreds of instances where Catholics have +voted against men of their own religious faith and elected +Protestants or infidels. + +Again: If the Pope is plotting against America; and if +all manner of crime be considered a virtue when committed +by Catholics in furtherance of his ends, as Slattery would +have you believe, then it were well to keep a sharp eye on +apostate priests. How are we to know that they are not +emissaries of the Vatican, commissioned to stir the +Protestants up to persecute their brethren in Christ and thereby +solidify the Catholic vote? No one, not even Slattery, has +accused the Pope of being a fool; and certain it is that the +A.P.A. movement, if persisted in, will have the effect of +driving the Catholics of this country to political unity in +self-defense. Persecution, political ostracism for religious +opinion's sake, will infallibly bring about those very +conditions which Slattery, Hicks, et al. declare that the Pope +desires. The communicants of the Church of Rome will no +longer vote as Democrats or Republicans, but as Catholics +--and then? With unlimited wealth, and such a political +machine at the command of a man so ambitious and unscrupulous +as we are asked to believe the Pope to be, the +capture of the federal government and the political domination +of this country were as easy as lying! The Protestants, +divided into a hundred warring factions, many of +them farther apart theologically than Episcopalianism +and Catholicism, could offer no resistance to such a +political machine, and they would receive but cold comfort from +the liberal element, which has suffered so long from their +petty persecutions. + +And I tell you Protestants right here, that if it be the +intention of the Church of Rome to transform this government +into a theocracy by fair means or by foul, then the +Pope is the real founder of the A.P.A. and Slattery's a +Papal spy. + +. . . + +According to the story of this self-constituted protector +of the American government, he studied Roman Catholic +theology for years, then officiated as a priest for eight +more before discovering anything immoral in the teachings +of the Mother Church, when it suddenly occurred to him +that it was but a tissue of falsehoods, a veritable cesspool +of rottenness. His transformation appears to have been +almost as sudden as that of Saul of Tarsus--or that of +Judas Iscariot. I have no objection to his leaving the +Catholic priesthood--his bishop stopped his pay. Like +the servant maid caught pilfering, he "gave notice, with +the missus a pintin' at the door." If Slattery believes +that the Protestant Through Line runs more comfortable +cars to the great hereafter, he's welcome to take his ticket +over that route; but I would have thought better of him +had he made the change quietly and refrained from +assaulting with the vindictiveness of a renegade that church +to which he owes his education, such as it is; had he +treated the religion of his mother with decency if not with +respect. + +I thought I had met all manner of men; men hardened +in crime--men destitute of even a semblance of shame; but +never before did I behold one with the hardihood to stand +up before American women and boast that he had incurred +a mother's curse. When a man falls so low in the scale +of human degradation that his own mother disowns him it +were well to watch him. When a creature asks strangers +to accept him because his relatives have rejected him; +when, for the sake of gain, he snaps like a mangy fice at +the hand that once fed him, and stings like a poisonous +adder the bosom that once nurtured him; when, to promote +his personal ends, he will use his best endeavors to +exterminate religious liberty and precipitate a bloody +sectarian war, I tell you he was not born a man but begotten +a beast. + +From the very foundation of this government the Catholics +have been its firm defenders. Their wisdom and eloquence +have adorned its councils from the signing of the +Declaration of American Independence to this good day, +and its every battlefield, from Lexington to the Custer +massacre, has been wet with Catholic blood. Nine Roman +Catholics signed the Declaration of Independence, and the +Roman Catholics of New York contributed so liberally of +their blood and treasure to the cause of the new-born +Nation that Washington wrote them a letter praising their +patriotism. Several Roman Catholics helped frame the +Federal Constitution, and the interpretation of that +wonderful instrument by a Roman Catholic chief-justice to- +day constitutes the fundamental law of the land. Yet +Slattery and that ridiculous organization of which he +boasts himself a member, would have you believe that the +American Catholics would, at a nod from the Pope, ruthlessly +trample under foot that flag in whose defense they +pledged their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor-- +that they would wreck without remorse and ruin without +regret that Nation they helped place on the map of the +world. How do you old Confederates, who followed Pat +Cleburne, relish having this blatant tramp defame your +dead commander? Can you believe, on the unsupported +testimony of this mendacious mountebank, that Father +Ryan's tribute to the Stars-and-Bars was rank hypocrisy +--that the poet-priest was the political tool of a foreign +power? Sherman died a Catholic. Fighting Phil Sheridan +was a Catholic. Old Pap Thomas, "the Rock of +Chickamauga," was a Catholic. The "Bloody Sixty-ninth" New +York was a Catholic regiment, and its heroism at the +Battle of Bull Run forms one of the brightest pages in the +military history of this nation. Strange it never occurred +to those demoralized Protestant regiments which took +refuge behind the bayonets of the Sixty-ninth that they +were throwing the Vatican between themselves and the +Confederate forces! + +Slattery assures us that the number of Irish Catholics +on the police force of our great cities is evidence that the +Church of Rome is on mischief bent. I am not surprised +that an Irish Catholic with a club in his hand should prove +rather alarming to Bro. Slattery. But, although he says, +"meet a policeman and you'll see the map of Ireland in +his face," those same policemen have several times saved +his worthless bacon. When he was mobbed in St. Louis +for defaming Catholic nuns, the police formed a cordon +around his infamous carcass and saved him from a well- +merited trouncing at the hands of the slandered women's +relatives. Probably the police did not relish the job +overmuch, but they had sworn to uphold the laws, and although +Slattery insists that a Catholic oath amounts to nothing, +they risked their lives in his defense. + +We have many nationalities in this country, and each +of them, as every observant man well knows, manifests a +predilection for some special occupation. Thus the Jews +take to trade, the Germans to agriculture, the Norwegians +to lumbering, the French to catering and the Irish to +politics. Make a Freewill Baptist or a Buddhist of an +Irishman and you do not change his nature--he'll turn up +at the next political convention just the same. And the +man who's too good to take a hand in practical politics; +who's too nice to mingle with the horny-handed at the +ward primaries; who's too busy to act as delegate to the +convention--who deliberately neglects his duty as an +American citizen--finds that Pat's activity has been +rewarded with a place on the police force, and blames it all +on the Pope. + +. . . + +It is not my province to defend Roman Catholic theology +--I suppose that Slattery said all that could be urged in +its behalf before he apostatized. Perhaps the Catholics +really believe the Pope infallible; and if they do, it is +certainly no worse than for certain Waco Protestants to believe +that Slattery's infallible. I noticed that at his lecture +last week they cheered every charge he preferred against +either the Pope or the "Apostle," and that without asking +for an iota of evidence. When I arose at the stag party +with which he wound up the intellectual debauch, and +questioned his infallibility, the good brethren cried, +"Throw him out!" Why did they so unless they believed +that to question the supernal wisdom and immaculate +truth of aught a Baptist minister might say, were sacrilege +--a sin against the Holy Ghost? + +Here was I, their fellow citizen of Waco, I had done +them no harm; yet when a strolling vagabond, wearing +God's livery, and whose forte is the defamation of women, +made a statement, which if true, would forever disgrace +me in the eyes of the world; when he preferred this charge +against me within two blocks of where my babies lay sleeping, +they wanted to mob me for branding him then and +there as an infamous liar and a cowardly blackguard. + +Mark you, I'm no tramp in America. This is the house +of my fathers. They helped hew it out of the Virginia +wilderness. They helped put Old Glory in the heavens, +and to keep it there for more than a hundred years, still +it appears that I have no rights in this country which a +foreigner with the smell of the steerage still upon him is +bound to respect, if he chances to be a Baptist preacher. + +Talk to me about the Church of Rome muzzling free +speech when the A.P.A. would mob an American citizen +for defending his character from the infamous falsehoods +of a foreign tramp! "Throw him out!" Why throw him +out? I'll tell you: The sanctified buzzards had gone there +with appetites sharpened for a mess of carrion, and they +were afraid I'd kill their cook. "Throw him out!" But I +noticed that those who were splitting their faces as wide +as Billy Kersands' were glued to their seats. They wanted +somebody else to throw him out. They were anxious to see +a gang of three or four hundred sanctified hoodlums +trample upon me, but there was not one among the self- +constituted protectors of this mighty American Nation +with sufficient "sand" to lead the mob. If there were no +better Americans than those trailing in the wake of the +Rev. Joseph Slattery, like buzzards following a bad smell, +I'd take a cornstalk, clean out the whole shooting-match +and stock the country with niggers and yaller dogs. If +such cattle were sired by Satan, damned by Sycorax and +born in hell they would dishonor their parents and disgrace +their country. + +Slattery insists that Catholics believe thus-and-so, and +that no man with such a faith concealed about his person +can be a good American citizen. I don't know about that; +but I do know that if the Catholics act in strict accordance +with their religious creed they are the only people in this +country that do so. I've learned that you can't judge a +man by his catechism. Slattery assures us that he has +discarded the Pope and taken Christ for his immediate guide. +The latter commands his followers to pray for those who +despitefully use them; but if Slattery did any praying +for the "Apostle" during his sojourn in this city he +managed to keep that fact a profound secret. Christ +enjoins patience and humility. He tells his followers to turn +the other cheek to the smiter; yet Slattery assured the +ladies Wednesday night that he was "a great believer in +muscular Christianity." Then he placed his 250 pounds +of stall-fed beef in fighting attitude and declared he'd +"like to have his enemies come at him one at a time"--to +be prayed for, I presume. If Christ taught "muscular +Christianity" I have inadvertently overlooked a bet. +Christ commands us to love our enemies, but doesn't +suggest that we should manifest our affection by lying about +'em. He rebuked those who tattled about a common +courtesan, yet Slattery defamed decent women. No, you +can't judge a man by his creed. If the allegiance of the +Catholics to the Pope is of the same character as that of +Slattery to the Lord Jesus Christ, Uncle Sam need not +lie awake o' nights to worry about "Papal plots." + +Had Slattery been truly a Christian, instead of black- +guarding me when protected by the presence of ladies, he +would have put up a fervent prayer for my immediate +conversion to the Baptist faith. But his milk of human +kindness had soured--he was short on Christian charity +and long on gall. + +"Faith, hope and charity," says St. Paul; "and the +greatest of these is charity." And he might have added +that it's also the scarcest. Perhaps that's what makes it +so valuable--the supply is ever equal to the demand. + +Speaking of charity reminds me of my experience with +the Protestant preachers of San Antonio, some of whom, I +understand, are aiding and abetting this A.P.A. movement, +"designed to preserve the priceless liberty of free +speech." While editor of the morning paper of that city +I was in the habit of writing a short sermon for the Sunday +edition, for the benefit of those who could not go to +church, I supposed that the ministers would sanction my +clerical efforts, but they didn't. They wanted no +assistance in saving souls, considered that they should be +accorded a monopoly in that line and were entitled to all +the emoluments. They proceeded to thunder at me from +the pulpit, and sometimes three or four perspiring +pulpiteers were pounding away at me at the same time--and +incidentally making me very popular. I dropped into a +swell church one Sunday morning to get a little grace-- +a building that cost up in the six figures while people were +living in $4 jackals and subsisting on 50 cents a week +within sound of its bells--and the minister was holding a +copy of the Express aloft in one hand and a Bible in the +other and demanding of his congregation: "Which will +you take--Brann or God?" Well, they seemed to think +that if they couldn't have both they'd best take God, +though some of the sinners on the back seats were a trifle +subsequent in making up their minds. + +I kept hammering away--preaching to my little congregation +of fifteen or twenty thousand readers every Sunday, +as I now do to ten times that many a month--until +finally the Ministerial Association met, perorated, +whereased, resoluted and wound up by practically demanding +of the proprietor of the Express that I be either muzzled +or fired. And all this time the Catholic priests said never +a word--and San Antonio is a Catholic city. But the +Baptist ministers were running a sneaking boycott! Yet +the Church of Rome is the boa-constrictor that's trying to +throttle the American right of free speech! + +The Y.M.C.A. invited me to lecture on Humbugs, and +that scared the Ministerial Association nearly to death. +They thought I was after 'em now sure, so they went to +the officials of the Y.M.C.A. and made them cancel the +date. And the only Protestant minster in the entire city +who did not join in this attempt to throttle free speech +was an Episcopalian--and the Episcopalians are not +Protestants to hurt. Yet when these ministers, who are +now so fearful that the Church of Rome will muzzle +somebody, found that they couldn't drive me out of town; +that they couldn't take the bread from the mouths of my +babes because I had dared utter my honest thoughts like +a freeman; that I was to continue to edit the Express +so long as I liked, they came fawning about me like a lot +of spaniels afraid of the lash! But not one of them ever +tried to convert me. Not one of them ever tried, by kindly +argument, to convince me that I was wrong. Not one of +them ever invited me to church--or prayed for me, so +far as I could learn. Perhaps they thought I was past +redemption. + +Slattery cautions you not to send your children to +convent schools, declaring that he "never yet saw a nun who +was an educated woman." That statement, standing alone, +ought to convince every one blessed with a thinking apparatus +that Slattery's a fraud. Some of the best educated +women in this world have entered convents. Women +upon whose tuition fortunes have been expended are now +making convent schools deservedly popular with the +intelligent people. + +He says ignorance is the correlative of Catholicism, and +points to Spain as proof of this startling assertion. There +was a time when Spain stood in the very forefront of +civilization, in the van of human progress, the arbiter of +the world's political destiny,--and Spain was even more +Catholic then than it is to-day. Nations and civilizations +have their youth, their lusty manhood and their decay, +and it were idle to attribute the decline of Spain to +Catholicism as the decadence of Greece to Paganism. The +Catholic church found Spain a nation of barbarians and +brought it up to that standard of civilization where a +Spanish monarch could understand the mighty plans of +Columbus. It was her Catholic Majesty, Queen Isabella, +who took from her imperial bosom the jewels with which +to buy a world--who exchanged the pearls of the Orient +for the star of Empire. The Catholic church found England +a nation of barbarians and brought it up, step by +step, until Catholic barons wrung from King John at +Runnymede the Great Charter--the mother of the American +Constitution. It found Ireland a nation of savages +and did for it what the mighty power of the Caesars could +not--brought it within the pale of civilization. But for +the Roman Catholic Church Slattery might be wearing a +breech clout, digging roots with his finger nails and gorging +himself with raw meat in Ireland to-day instead of +insulting the intelligence of American audiences and wringing +money from fanatics and fools by warring upon the +political institutions of their fathers. + +. . . + +Slattery was horrified to learn that some of the nuns +were inclined to talk about each other. I sincerely trust +that he will find none of the Baptist sisters addicted to +the same bad habit. + +From what I could gather of his discourse,--before I +was "put out"--and from the report of his alleged wife's +lectures, I infer that this delectable twain impeach the +virtue of the Roman Catholic sisterhoods. Malice, like +death, loves a shining mark, and there is no hate so +venomous as that of the apostate. But before giving credence +to such tales, let me ask you: Why should a woman +exchange the brilliant parlor for a gloomy cell in which to +play the hypocrite? Why should a cultured woman of +gentle birth deliberately forego the joys of wife and +motherhood, the social triumph and the freedom of the +world and condemn herself to a life of labor, a dreary +round of drudgery, if her heart's impure? For shame! + +Who is it that visits the slums of our great cities +ministering to the afflicted, comforting the dying, reclaiming +the fallen? When pestilence sweeps over the land and mothers +desert their babes and husbands their wives, who is it +that presses the cup of cold water to the feverish lip +and closes the staring eyes of the deserted dead? Who +was it that went upon the Southern battle-fields to minister +to the wounded soldiers, followed them to the hospitals +and tenderly nursed them back to life? The Roman +Catholic sisterhoods, God bless them! + +One of those angels of mercy can walk unattended and +unharmed through our "Reservation" at midnight. She +can visit with impunity the most degraded dive in the +White-chapel district. At her coming the ribald song is +stilled and the oath dies on the lips of the loafer. Fallen +creatures reverently touch the hem of her garments, and +men steeped in crime to the very lips involuntarily remove +their hats as a tribute to noble womanhood. The very +atmosphere seems to grow sweet with her coming and the +howl of hell's demons to grow silent. None so low in the +barrel-house, the gambling hell or the brothel as to breathe +a word against her good name; but when we turn to the +Baptist pulpit there we find an inhuman monster clad in +God's livery, saying, "Unclean, unclean!" God help a +religious denomination that will countenance such an +infamous cur! + +As a working journalist I have visited all manner of +places. I have written up the foulest dives that exist on +this continent, and have seen Sisters of Charity enter +them unattended. Had one of the inmates dared insult +them he would have been torn in pieces. And I have sat +in the opera house of this city--boasting itself a center of +culture--and heard a so-called man of God speak flippantly +of the Catholic sisterhoods, and professing Christians +applaud him to the echo. + +Merciful God! if heaven is filled with such Christians, +send me to hell, with those whose sins are human! Better +everlasting life in a lake of fire than enforced companionship +in Paradise for one hour with the foul harpies that +groaned "awmen" to Slattery's infamous utterances. +God of Israel! to think that those unmanly scabs, those +psalm-singing vultures are Americans and our political +brethren! + +. . . + +I know little about the private lives of the Catholic +priesthood; but this I do know: They were the first to +plant the standard of Christian faith in the New World. +They were the first to teach the savages something of the +blessings of civilization. I do know that those of them +who were once Protestants are not making a specialty of +defaming the faith of their fathers. I do know that neither +hardship nor danger can abate their holy zeal and that +hundreds of them have freely given their lives in the service +of the Lord. And why should a man devote his body +to God and his soul to the devil? I do know that one of +them has given us the grandest example of human sacrifice +for others' sake that this great world affords. Even +Christ prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, "If it be +possible, let this cup pass from me"; but Father Damien +pressed a cup even more bitter to his own lips and drained +it to the dregs--died for the sake of suffering mortals a +death to which the cross were mercy. + +The Protestants admit that they are responsible for the +inoculation of the simple Sandwich Islanders with the +leprosy; yet when those who fell victims to the foul disease +were segregated, made prisoners upon a small island +in the mid-Pacific, not a Protestant preacher in all the +earth could be found to minister to them. The Lord had +"called" 'em all into his vineyard, but it appears that he +didn't call a blessed one of them to that leper colony where +people were rotting alive, with none to point them to that +life beyond the grave where all the sins and corruptions of +the flesh are purged away and the redeemed stand in robes +of radiant white at the right hand of God. I blame no +man for declining the sacrifice. To set foot upon that +accursed spot was to be declared unclean and there +confined until death released you--death by leprosy, the most +appalling disease in all the dreadful catalogue of human +ills, the most dreaded arrow in the quiver of the grim +Destroyer. Yet Father Damien, a young Roman Catholic +priest, left home and country and all that life holds dear, +and went deliberately forth to die for afflicted barbarians. +There he reared an humble temple with his own hands to +the God of his fathers, there, through long years of +confinement, he ministered to the temporal and spiritual wants +of the afflicted; there he died, as he knew he must die, with +his fingers falling from his hands, his flesh from his bones, +a sight to appall the very imps of hell. No wonder the +Protestant ministers held aloof. Merciful God. I'd rather +be crucified! + +We are all brave men when the war-drum throbs and +the trumpet calls us to battle beneath the eyes of the world, +--when, touching elbows with our fellows and clad in all +the glorious pomp and circumstance of war we seek the +bubble of fame e'en at the cannon's mouth. When the +music of the battery breeds murder in the blood, the electric +order goes ringing down the line, is answered by the +thrilling cheer, the veriest coward drives the spur deep +into the foaming flank and plunges, like a thunderbolt, +into the gaping jaws of death, into the mouth of hell; but +when a man was wanted to go forth alone, without blare +of trumpet or drum, and become a life-prisoner in a leper +colony, but one in all the world could be found equal to +that supreme test of personal heroism, and that man was +a Roman Catholic priest. And what was his reward? +Hear what Thos. G. Sherman, a good Protestant, says in +the New York Post: + +"Before the missionaries gained control of the islands; +leprosy was unknown. But with the introduction of +strange races, leprosy established itself and rapidly +increased. An entire island was properly devoted to the +lepers. No Protestant missionary would venture among +them. For this I do not blame them, as, no doubt, I should +not have had the courage to go myself. But a noble +Catholic priest consecrated his life to the service of the +lepers, lived among them, baptized them, educated them, +and brought some light and happiness into their wretched +lives. Stung by the contrast of his example, the one +remaining missionary, a recognized and paid agent of the +American Board, spread broadcast the vilest slanders +against Father Damien." + +So it appears that the world is blessed with two Slatterys. + +There are three kinds of liars at large in the land: The +harmless Munchausen who romances for amusement, and +whose falsehoods do no harm; the Machiavellian liar, whose +mendacity bears the stamp of original genius, and the +stupid prevaricator, who rechews the fetid vomit of other +villains simply because he lacks a fecund brain to breed +falsehoods to which he may play the father. And Slattery's +a rank specimen of the latter class. When he attempts +to branch out for himself he invariably comes to +grief. After giving a dreadful account of how Catholics +persecute those who renounce the faith, declaring that they +were a disgrace to the church while within its pale, he +produced a certificate from a Philadelphia minister to the +effect that he--the Philadelphian--had visited Slattery's +old parish in Ireland and the Catholics there declared that +he was a good and faithful priest! What Slattery seems +to lack to become a first-class fraud is continuity of +thought. He lies fluently, even entertainingly, but not +consistently. + +The apostate priest would have the various Protestant +denominations throw down the bars that separate them +and mark off their theological bailiwicks "with little beds +of flowers." The idea is a good one--and I can but +wonder where Slattery stole it. Still I can see no cogent +reason for getting all the children together in happy union +and leaving their good old mother out in the cold. + +Throw down all the bars, and let every division of the +Great Army of God, whether wearing the uniform of +Buddhist or Baptist, Catholic or Campbellite, Methodist +or Mohammedan, move forward, with Faith its sword, +Hope its ensign and Charity its shield. Cease this foolish +internecine strife, at which angels weep, swing into line as +sworn allies and, at the command of the Great Captain, +advance your standards on the camp of the common foe. +Wage war, not upon each other, but on Poverty, Ignorance +and Crime, hell's great triumvirate, until this beautiful +world's redeemed and bound in very truth, + + "With gold chains about the feet of God." + + +THE LOCAL OPTION LUNACY. + +[Mr. Brann was billed to lecture at Hillsboro, Texas, +on the eve of the local option election. The Antis took +possession of the opera house and changed his subject. +Following is a synopsis of his address.] + +Ladies and Gentlemen: I came here to talk on "Gall," +and I find that I must speak on "Prohibition"--a +distinction without a difference. I hold in my hand a printed +challenge from the Prohib committee to meet Hon. W. K. +Homan in joint debate to-night--a challenge issued when +they were well aware that I was to lecture here this +evening. They felt certain that I would not forego a lecture +fee to mix it with them without money and without price; +but they didn't know their man. I'm always willing to +make some sacrifice to secure the luxury of a red-hot +intellectual scrapping match. We proposed to make it a +Midshipman Easy duel, a three-cornered fight--Brothers +Homan and Benson vs. the "Apostle," but they wiggled in +and they wiggled out, they temporized and tergiversated +until we saw there wasn't an ounce of fight in the whole +Prohibition crew--that, after their flamboyant defi, we +couldn't pull 'em into a joint debate with a span of mules +and a log-cabin. I last saw Bro. Bill Homan at Hubbard +City. He was getting out of town on the train I got in on +--after promising that he would remain over and meet me. +In his harangue the night before he told his auditors that +I'd simply "abuse the church and make ugly faces." +Well, I didn't abuse the church on that occasion, nor upon +any other, albeit I sometimes make it a trifle uncomfortable +for some of its unworthy representatives. I cannot +help "making ugly faces." It's my misfortune, not +my fault. I was born good and Bro. Bill was born beautiful. +He's the Adonis of the rostrum, the Apollo Belvidere +of the bema. He's so dodgasted "purty" that the children +cry for him. Had he come to earth two thousand years +ago some Grecian goddess would have stolen him. Bro. +Bill couldn't make an ugly face if he tried. If he ever +catches sight of his own personal pulchritude as reflected +in some translucent lake, I much fear that he'll meet with +the fate of Narcissus. Some of you Prohibs don't know +who Narcissus was. Well, he was one of those fellows +whom cold water killed. + +I'm no professional anti-Prohibition spouter, and have +been jumped up here without preparation; but it occurs +to me that it requires no careful rehearsal of set orations +before an amorous looking glass, no studied intermingling +of pathos, bathos and blue fire to demolish the Prohibition +fallacy. Liberty is ever won by volunteers; the shackles +of political and religious slavery are forged by the hands +of hirelings. Prohibition cannot withstand the light of +logic, the lessons of experience, nor the crucible of the +commonest kind of common sense. + +Milton tells us that the angel Ithuriel found the devil +"squat like a toad," distilling poison in the ear of sleeping +Eve; that he touched the varmint with his spear, and +forthwith Satan resumed his proper shape and fled shrieking +out of Paradise. Prohibition is another evil spirit that +is breeding trouble in man's Eden; but when touched by +the spear-point of legitimate criticism its disguise falls +away, and we see, instead of a harmless toad, a malicious +Meddlesome Mattie stirring up strife and bitterness among +brethren. + +Whenever a man opposes the plans of the Prohibs he is +forthwith denounced as an enemy of morality, a slave of +the saloons, a hireling of the Anheuser-Busch Brewing +Association. Well, I had rather be the emissary of the +saloons than the assassin of liberty, the slave of a brewer +than the blind peon of ignorant prejudice, while if morality +consists in attending to my neighbor's business to the neglect +of my own, then I'm ferninst it, first, last and all the +time. As a good German friend of mine once remarked: +"Dot beoples who lives py stones of mine shouldn't trow +some glass houses, haind id?" Who is making money out +of this agitation? The Professional Prohibs. Did you +ever know of one of these gentry making a Prohibition +speech except for filthy lucre--unless he was electioneering +for office or taking subscribers for a cold-water +journal? They are the cattle who are OUT FOR THE STUFF; +they are the mercenaries--the men who pump foul air +through their faces for a fee. Did you ever hear of a +man getting paid for defending the doctrine of personal +liberty? Did you ever see a collection taken up at an +anti-prohibition meeting to pay some important spouter +for pointing out to the people their political duty? (A +voice: "Nix.") And you never will. These prohibition +orators have the impudence to denounce me as "the peon +of the rum power" while I am fighting the battles of +personal liberty at my own cost, yet not a dad-burned one of +'em will open his head unless paid for his wind-power! +They are "reformers" for revenue only. + +I have noticed that, as a rule, men who speak against +Prohibition have never been in the gutter, while those who +pick up a precarious livelihood by chasing the "Rum Demon" +around a stump have usually been his very humble +slaves. I have noticed that the men who oppose Prohibition +are usually the solid, well-to-do men of the community, +the heavy tax-payers the men upon whom the schools, the +churches and the state chiefly depend for support, while +those who champion it on the rostrum are usually living +in some way upon the industry of others. The man who +has brains enough to make money and keep it usually has +too much sense to be a Prohibitionist. It is the fellows +who have made a failure of life; who live on donations; +who weep over the world's wickedness, then take up a +collection to enable them to get to the next town; who haven't +sufficient moral stamina to stay sober, that are prating of +Prohibition. If we required a property franchise you +couldn't muster five thousand Prohibition votes between +the Sabine and the Rio Grande. + +And yet we are told that licensing the saloons is a bad +business investment; that it costs more than it comes to; +that the way to abolish poverty is to abrogate the liquor +license law. Strange that the Prohibs should possess such +transcendent business heads and such empty stomachs! +Doubtless the drinking of liquor adds to the cost of our +judiciary; doubtless it is responsible for some crime; but +the question at issue is not one of liquor-drinking vs. +teetotalism--it is a question of drinking licensed liquor +or Prohibition aquafortis. It is not a question of reducing +the cost of our courts, but of making liquor bear its due +proportion of the burdens it foists upon the people. + +I am neither the friend nor enemy of liquor, any more +than I am the enemy or friend of buttermilk. I have drunk +both a third of a century and have been unable to see that +they did me any especial good or harm. I was never +befuddled on the one nor foundered on the other, and have +managed to get along very well with both. Whether in +eating or drinking, a man should keep his brains above +his belt, and if he cannot do that he's a precious poor +excuse for an uncrowned King, an American Sovereign. + +The statistics furnished by the Prohibition orators are +fearfully and wonderfully made. It has been asserted in +this campaign that a million Americans die every year +of the world from the effects of strong drink--and all this +great army goes direct to hell. The man who made that +statement is a preacher, and presumably familiar with the +Bible; but he has evidently overlooked the story of +Ananias and Saphira. I learn from the United States census +report, which I hold in my hand, that in the very year in +which this Prohibition apostle claims a million Americans +were slain by strong drink, the statistical experts could +find but 1,592 victims of John Barleycorn. The doctors +have ever claimed that more people die of over-eating than +of over-drinking, and the census report bears out the +assertion, for in the year in which 1,592 people were filed +away by "alcoholism," 30,094 deaths are accredited to +"diseases of the digestive organs." What causes indigestion? +Over-eating, or eating food difficult of digestion. +Now I submit that if Brothers Benson, Homan, et al, are +trying to save the people of this land from premature +graves and bear the stock of the coffin trust, they should +direct their crusade against indigestible food,--reduce the +people of this Nation by means of statutory law to a diet +of cornbread and buttermilk. Let them bring all their +ballistae and battering-rams to bear upon the toothsome +mince pie, the railway sandwich, the hard-boiled egg and +pickled pigs' feet--that pestilence that walks in darkness. +Indigestion is indeed a fruitful source of crime. It casts +the black shadow of chronic pessimism athwart the sunniest +soul and transforms happy homes into dens of despair. +It makes men irritable, morose, and prompts them to +homicide. Who can tell how much misery and crime the +wretched cookery of female Prohibitionists is responsible +for? How the cost of our criminal courts might be reduced +if these she-reformers would but attend to their +kitchens and dish up for their lords and masters grub +that would more easily assimilate with the gastric juices! +If a man be fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils when +loaded with a half a pint of red licker, what must be the +condition of his mind and morals when he's full of sodden +pie, half baked beans and soda-biscuits that if fired from +a cannon would kill a bull? + +The theory that strong drink is an unmixed evil that +must be abolished, is not in accord with the genius of this +government, which would give to the individual untrammeled +liberty in matters concerning only himself. Experience +has proven Prohibition a rank failure and the +customs of mankind from the very dawn of history brand +it a rotten fraud. The people of every age and clime +have used stimulants, and we may safely conclude that, +despite the Prohibs, they will be employed so long as man +exists upon the earth. Banish liquor and man will find a +substitute even though it be opium, morphine or cocaine. +It is said that Thor, the great northern god of war, once +tried to lift what he supposed was an old woman, but +found to his sorrow that it was a mighty serpent which, +in Norse mythology, encircles the world. The Prohibs +are warring upon what they foolishly imagine to be +frivolous habit of man, but will yet learn that they are +running counter to an immutable decree of God--are +trying to alter the physical constitution of the human race +by means of local option elections. + +So far as I am personally concerned, I would care but +little if every ounce of liquor was banished from the earth +and its method of manufacture forever be forgotten; but I +object to having a lot of he-virgins and female wall-flowers +sit at my muzzle and dictate how I shall load myself. If +I'm an American sovereign I propose to be supreme autocrat +of my own stomach. When I want advice regarding +what I shall eat and what I shall drink I'll consult a +doctor of medicine instead of a doctor of divinity. + +I do not oppose Prohibition because I am the friend +of liquor, but because I am the friend of liberty. I would +rather see a few boozers than a race of bondmen. I am +not interested in preserving the liquor traffic, but I am +interested in the perpetuation of those principles that +ennoble a people and make manly men--men who rely upon +themselves for their social salvation rather than upon a +public policy which may change with the phases of the +moon or the arrival of some new demagogue from distant +parts. I have but little use for men who must swing to the +apron-strings of a public grand-dame or go to the dogs. +Let us reserve the nursery for children. Men whom we +cannot trust with the guardianship of their own appetites +should not be allowed to run at large. How would you +young ladies like to marry "American Sovereigns" who +must be tied up, like a lot of mangy cayuses when white +clover is in blossom to keep 'em from catching the +"slobbers"? + +But, the Prohibs inform us, the brightest men of the +world are ruined by strong drink. They assure us that +"it is not a question of intellect, but of appetite." What +was judgment given us for if not to control our appetites? +If Appetite be paramount to judgment why do we hang +rape-fiends? Let me tell you the idea that the brainiest +men of the world die drunkards is the merest moonshine. +If only men of genius drank liquor a one-horse still would +supply the demand and be idle six months in the year. +Take the thousand greatest men the world has produced +--the Thousand Immortelles--and not 2 per cent. of them +died drunkards, yet 98 per cent. of them drank liquor. If +the Prohibs have ever produced an intellect of the first +class they must have hidden it under a bushel. Its +possessor is probably one of those village Hampdens or mute +inglorious Miltons of whom the poet sings. The Prohibs +don't run to great men--they run to gab. + +Stripped of all its superfluous trappings, the thesis of +Prohibition is simply this: "Some men drink to excess; +therefore no one should be permitted to drink at all. The +human race must reserve its inherent tastes and time-honored +habits lest some wild-eyed jay get on a jag." The +question at issue, the riddle for us to unravel, is simply +this: Can we afford to sacrifice human liberty to save the +sots? Is the game worth the candle, and if we burn the +candle will we win the game? + +The Pros assure you that Prohibition prohibits. It +does. It prohibits the sale of liquor and supplies its place +with coffin paint. It prohibits the sale of good, ice cold +beer and gives us forty-rod bugjuice. Theories are +not worth a continental when slammed up against conditions. +What I hear I take with a grain of salt; but what +I see that I do know. I tell you candidly that next to a +pretty woman I love a cocktail. If the liquor is good and +the barkeeper understands his business, I consider it a +thing to thank God for--occasionally. Like religion, a +little of it is an excellent thing, but an overdose will put +wheels in your head. I have never yet been in a Prohibition +precinct where I needed to go thirsty if I had the +price of a pint flask concealed about my person--and my +stomach could stand the poison. + +When high license prevailed in Hillsboro you had a +dozen saloons, each contributing to the revenues of the +state, the country, the municipality and the school fund. +You voted local option in, and now you've thirty-two +unlicensed and unregulated doggeries selling rot-gut to +schoolboys and contributing not one cent to the public +revenues. The cost of your courts has increased, +drunkenness was never so common, brawls never so frequent. +It is said that even fools can learn in the bitter school of +experience; but there be idiots upon whom even such lessons +are lost. But you say, "Vote local option in again +and we'll elect officers who will enforce the laws." Have +you yet to learn that a law cannot be enforced that is not +steadily upheld by public opinion? And do you not know +that there's not a considerable town in Texas where public +opinion demands at all times a strict enforcement of such +a law? If you really desire to have a sober city, raise +a purse and hire the operators of your blind tigers to place +their booze on the sidewalk in buckets, accompanied by +tin dippers and signs, "Help yourself--funerals furnished +free." Men would then run away from the very smell of +the stuff who now sneak up dirty alleys and pay 15 cents +for the privilege of poisoning themselves. On the same +principle some men--and they are not all anti-Prohibs +either--will leave a beautiful and charming wife to mope +at home while they are flirting with some female whose +face would frighten a freight-train. Man is just like a +dog--only more so. Perhaps a marauding old muley cow +would be a better comparison. A muley cow will eat +anything on this majestic earth that she can steal, from a +hickory shirt to a Prohibition newspaper, and if she can't +get it through her neck she will chew it and suck the juice. +That's human nature to a hair. Man values most what is +hardest to get. And until you reverse the law of nature +the legitimate effect of Prohibition will be blind tigers and +back-door sneaks, the breeding of spies and the sale and +consumption of an infinitely meaner brand of booze. + +That liquor has done a vast amount of damage I freely +concede; but shall we banish everything that has added to +the mighty tide of human ills? Then what have we left? +A hole in the atmosphere, God has not bequeathed to man +an unmixed blessing since he expelled him from Paradise. +Even woman, his last, best gift, hath grievous faults. The +very first one brought into this world, according to Pagan +legend and Holy Writ, was the author of all our ills. But +for her we would be to-day in a blessed state of innocence, +where mothers-in-law and millinery bills, political issues +and itinerant preachers, mental freaks and professional +reformers, jim-jams and jag cure joints disturb us not. +Instead of all this toil and trouble we would lie like gods +reclining on banks of asphodel, pull the heavenly bell-cord +when hungry and live on from age to age, ever young +Apollos. Perhaps the Almighty made a mistake when he +gave to man a wife, and another when he gave him the +vine; but when he corrects 'em I'll crawl off the earth. + +Woman has filled the world with war's alarms, and the +bacchic revel has ended in the brawl. Troy flamed because +Menelaus' wife was false, and Philip's all-conquering +son surrendered to the brimming bowl. Ever is our dearest +joy wedded to our direst woe. The same air that comes +stealing round our pillow, laden with the sensuous perfume +of a thousand flowers, rips our towns to pieces and +turns our artesian wells inside out. The same rains that +fructify the earth pour the destructive flood. The same +intellectual power that bends nature's mighty forces to +man's imperial will, enables him to trample upon his +brethren. The same reckless courage that breaks the +tyrant's chain ofttimes stains the hand with a brother's +blood. The same longing for woman's sweet companionship +that leads these to rear happy homes--sacred shrines +from which incense mounts night and day to the throne +of Omnipotent God--goads those to lawless love. The +empurpled juice that warms the cold heart and stirs the +sluggish blood that gives to the orator lips of gold, to the +poet promethean fire abused doth breed the hasty quarrel +and make the god a beast. + +It was said of old that a middle course is safest and +best, and the axiom still holds good. All the Utopias thus +far inaugurated were greased at the wrong end. The +fact that since the dawn of history--aye, so far back that +legend itself is lost in the shadows of the centuries--the +winecup has circulated about the social board, proves that +it supplies a definite, an inherent human want--that it fills +a niche in the world's economy. One of the first acts of +a people after passing the pale of savagery is to supply +itself with stimulants. Why this is so, I do not pretend +to know; but so it is, and it argues that the Prohibition +apostles have tackled about as big a contract as did Dame +Partington--that they had best "pluck a few feathers +from the wing of their fancy wherewith to supply the tail +of their judgment." + +The Prohibs declare that 999 out of every 1,000 crimes +are caused by liquor. Suppose this to be true: Does it +take the cussedness out of liquor to drive it from the front +room into the back alley? Is it not a fact that the worst +brand of "fighting booze" is dispensed at the illicit +doggery? But the Prohibs are as badly at sea anent their +criminal statistics as in the mortuary report. Comparatively +few of the great criminals of this country ever +drank liquor to excess. But a small per cent. of those in +our penitentiaries were confirmed drunkards when accorded +the hospitality of the state. When a man is convicted +of crime he naturally seeks a scapegoat. Adam +threw all the blame of that apple episode on Eve, simply +because liquor had not then been invented and he could +not plead an Edenic jag in extenuation. I was once interviewing +a man who had just been sentenced to the penitentiary +for horse-theft. I thought that perhaps a cocktail +would cause him to talk freer, and had one smuggled +to his cell. He declined it, saying that he had never taken +but one drink of liquor in his life, and that made him sick. + +"But," said I, "you told the court that you were crazy +drunk when you committed the crime." + +"Yes," he replied, "I'd rather be thought a drunkard +than a natural born d----d thief." + +That led me to investigate. I interviewed the recorder +of Galveston, the chief of police, the sheriff of the county, +the district attorney and several other officials. We went +over the records, and the habits of each offender were +carefully inquired into. As a matter of course the +"drunks and disorderlies" made an imposing list; but we +were unable to trace the influence of liquor in more than +3 per cent. of the serious crimes committed in Galveston +city and county during five years. + +The great cry of the Prohibs is, "Save the boys; remove +temptation from their path." Well, that's all right, +if you've got a putty boy; but if I had a boy who wanted +to go on a whizz and wasn't smart enough to find the +means despite all the Prohibs in Christendom, I'd send +him to the insane asylum. I was reading the other day of +some college youths who were watched so closely that +they couldn't obtain liquor, and proceeded to fill up on +illuminating gas. If the supply of gas holds out those +youngsters are likely to develop into great Prohibition +orators. If you want to keep your boy from filling a +drunkard's grave, begin by getting a sure-enough boy-- +one whose brain-pan lies above instead of below his ears. +Then raise him right. Don't tell him that every man who +sells liquor is an emissary of hell, and that every man who +drinks it is a worthless sot. If you do, he'll soon find out +that you are a liar without sufficient intelligence to build +a dangerous falsehood, and he'll take off the muzzle. Tell +him the truth and thereby retain his confidence. Tell him +that liquor is a pretty good thing to let alone, but that +millions of better men than his daddy have drank it and +lived and died sober and useful citizens. + +Prohibition was first tried in the Garden of Eden. It +proved a failure there, and it has proven a failure ever +since. It is not in accord with the Christian Bible, the +fundamental law of the land or the lessons of history. +Wine has been used in almost every religious rite except +Mohammedanism and devil worship. St. Paul recommends +it, Christ made and used it and God saved Noah +while letting all the good Prohibitionists drown. The +Saviour came eating and drinking. Abraham Lincoln +declared Prohibition "a species of intemperance within +itself" and "a blow at the very principles on which our +government was founded." General Grant, Thomas +Jefferson, Horatio Seymour and John Quincy Adams +denounced it in unmeasured terms. Who's taking issue with +these giants of the intellect? Redlicker Benson of Ingeanny, +who has come all the way to Texas to tell us barbarians +what to do to be saved--and incidentally pick up +enough money to pay for another "jag"; Whoopee +Kalamity Homan, the pretty man of Dallas, whose chief +argument is that I abuse the churches--which is an +infernal falsehood; and Jehovah Boanerges Cranfill, an +ex-bum who aspires to the presidency of the United States, +but couldn't be elected pound-master in his own precinct. + +I have been asked why, if as much liquor is sold under +Prohibition as under high license, the saloonists insist +upon contributing to the public revenues. The answer's +dead easy. The men who engineer blind tigers vote the +Prohibition ticket. They contribute to the campaign +fund. They help pay the fees of the cold water spouters +and sputers. More liquor is sold under local option than +under high license, because of man's natural hankering for +forbidden fruits; but it is sold by a different class of men +and is a different kind of booze. It is sold by chronic law- +breakers, by men who have little to lose, by toughs for +whom the bat-cage hath no terrors. The man who is capable of +straddling an unlicensed keg of bug-juice in a back-room and +ladling out liquid hell to little boys, is quite naturally in +favor of Prohibition. A man of respectability, and who is +financially responsible for offenses, desires to keep within the +limits of the law. That's the reason that respectable saloon men +are the enemies of Prohibition. + +Legalize the sale of liquor and you will have some +crime, no doubt. You will have paupers and criminals to +provide for, but you'll have a revenue to help bear the +burdens. Prohibit it and you'll have the burdens without +the revenue. Permit its sale and you will have law-abiding +citizens engaged in the traffic, men who will try to +make it decent, who will take a pride in the purity of their +wares and the orderliness of their places; prohibit it, and +you will have a lot of law-breakers on the one hand selling +slumgullion made of cheap chemicals and general cussedness, +and a gang of spies and informers on the other stirring +up strife and entailing costly litigation. + +When driven to the wall; when it is clearly demonstrated +that their doctrine does not accord with the genius +of this government; when it is amply proven that wherever +tried it has proven an expensive failure, an arrant +fraud, the Prohibs fall back upon the Bible. You may +prove five hundred different religious dogmas by the Bible, +but Prohibition is not one of them. Bro. Homan declares +that the Old Testament prohibits the drinking of wine. +It does not; but it does not make circumcision obligatory, +and a sin of omission is as bad as a sin of commission. If +Bro. Homan proposes to be guided by the Old Testament I +beg to suggest that he is overlooking a very important bit. +The Old Testament commands no class of people to +abstain from wine, except the Jewish priesthood, and +they ONLY WHILE PERFORMING THEIR SACRED OFFICES. An angel +of the Lord did command the barren Manoah to stay sober +awhile and she should conceive and bear a son; and I +imagine that something equally as miraculous might happen +to Luther Benson under similar circumstances. +David recounts as one of God's mercies that he giveth +water to the wild ass and wine to make glad the heart of +man. Solomon sings to the wine cup with all the ardor +of Anacreon, while the prophets kept the morals of Israel +toned up by threats that a lapse from virtue would prove +disastrous to the vineyards. St. Paul advised bishops and +old women to take but little wine. He also suggested to +the first that they should not fly into a passion, and to the +latter that spreading false reports about their neighbors +was not considered good form. The Prohibs, as a last +resort, insist that the wine of Biblical days was very +different from our own--a kind of circus lemonade; but it +seems to have gotten in its graft on old Noah in most +elegant shape. If the wine of Biblical times was so harmless +why did the sacred writers consider it necessary to caution +people against drunkenness, bid them be temperate in all +things--while avoiding teetotalism? The only beverage +I can find mentioned in the Bible that affected a man like a +Prohibition drink, was that given Col. Lot in the cave by +his two daughters. It accomplished what medical men +assure me was a miracle--and the Prohibs run largely to +the miraculous. + +* * * +OLD GLORY. + +(Address at San Antonio, July 4, 1893.) + +FELLOW CITIZENS--I have done pretty much everything +that a man may do and dodge the penitentiary, except run +for office and make Fourth of July speeches. Eulogizing +the Goddess of Liberty were much like adding splendor to +the sunrise or fragrance to the breath of morn. She needs +no encomiast, star-crowned she stands, the glory of +America, the admiration of the world. + +I shall make a bid for your gratitude by being brief. In +July weather the song of an electric fan and the small voice +of the soda fount were more grateful to the soul than the +grandest eloquence that ever burned on a Grady's lips of +gold. It is customary, I believe on July 4th, to "make the +eagle scream,"--to fight o'er again all the gory battles of +the Republic, from Lexington's defeat to the glorious victory +of the last election; but I am no Gov. Waite, and +blood to horses' bridles delights me not. I would rather +at any time talk of love's encounters than of war's alarums +--rather bask in the smiles of beauty than mount barbed +steeds to fright the souls of fearful adversaries. I have +ever had a sneaking respect for Grover Cleveland for +sending a substitute to remonstrate with the Southern +Confederacy while he played progressive euchre with the +pretty girls. His patriotism may not have soared above +par, but there were no picnic ants on his judgment. Much +as I love my country, I would rather be a living president +than a dead hero. + +I address you as "fellow Americans," for in this land +no man of Celtic or of Saxon blood can be an alien. +Whether he was born on the banks of the blue Danube or +by Killarney's lovely lakes, 'mid Scotia's rugged hills or +on the sunny vales of France, he is bound to us with ties +of blood; he hath a claim upon our country, countersigned +by those brave souls who, in the western wilds, gave to +Liberty a habitation and a name--who declared that +Columbia should ever be the refuge of the world's +oppressed,--that all men, in whatever country born, should +be equal before the law wherever falls the shadow of our +flag. There has of late arisen a strange new doctrine that +we should close our ports against the peoples of other +lands, however worthy they may be; but I say unto you +that such a policy were to betray a sacred trust confided +to us by our fathers,--that every honest man beneath +high heaven, every worshipper at Liberty's dear shrine +hath an inheritance here, and when, with uplifted hand he +pledges his life, his fortune and his sacred honor to the +defense of freedom's flag he becomes as much an American +as though to the manner born. + +On occasions such as this we of America are apt to +glorify ourselves too much,--to overlook the origin of +those elements that made us great. When exulting over +our victories in war and our still more glorious triumphs +in peace, our progress and our prosperity, we should not +forget that had there been no Europe there would be no +great American nation; that all the courage that beats +in the blood of Columbia's imperial sons, and all the +wondrous beauty with which her daughters are dowered; +that all the tireless energy of which she proudly boasts, +and all the genius that gilds her name with glory were +nurtured for a thousand years at white bosoms beyond the +ocean's brine. + +The American nation is the fair flower of European +civilization, the petted child of the world's old age. +Princes may be jealous of her progress and tyrants read +in her rise their own downfall; but the great heart of the +people of every land and clime is hers; to her they turn +their faces as the helianthus to the rising sun,--she is +their beacon light, their star of hope, guiding them to the +glories of a grander day. + +It is natural, it is right that on the nation's natal day +we should felicitate ourselves on the sacred privileges we +enjoy--should pay the tribute of our respect to those +whose courage crowned us with sovereignty and made us +masters of our fate; but we should not, as too often +happens, make it the occasion for senseless bravado and +foolish bluster. We should rather employ it to promote +good will among the nations of the earth, to link together +in a kindlier brotherhood the various families of the great +Caucasian race, to beat the barbarous sword into peaceful +plowshares and forever banish strife. + +I sometimes dream that God has, in his mercy, raised +this nation up unto the world's salvation,--the immediate +instrument of His grace to usher in that age of gold, + + "When the war-drum throbs no longer and the battle-flags are +furled, + In the parliament of man, the federation of the world." + + +I delight to trace in the rise and fall of nations the finger +of God, and strive to read the Almighty's plan in the +historic page. In the farthest east appeared the first +faint light of civilization's dawn, and westward ever since +the star of empire hath ta'en its way, while each succeeding +nation that rose in its luminous paths like flowers in +the footsteps of our dear Lord, has reached a higher plane +and wrought out a grander destiny. The cycle is complete-- +the star now blazes in the world's extreme west +and by the law of progress which has preserved for forty +centuries, here if anywhere, must we look for that millennial +dawn of which poets have fondly dreamed and for +which philanthropists have prayed. + +The awful responsibility of leadership rests upon us. +We have shattered the scepter of the tyrant and broken +the shackles of the slave; we have torn the diadem from the +prince's brow and placed the fasces of authority in the +hands of the people; we have undertaken to lead the human +race from the Slough of Despond to the Delectable Mountains, +where Justice reigns supreme and every son of +Adam may find life worth living. Can we make good our +glorious promises? Are we equal to the task to which we +have given our hand? Ten thousand times the world has +asked this question, but there is neither Dodona Oak nor +Delphic Oracle to make reply--the future alone can +answer. All eyes are upon us, in hope or fear, in prayer +or protest. The fierce light that beats upon a throne were +as the firefly's dull flame to the lightning's flash compared +with that which illumes the every act of this champion of +human progress, this knight par excellence, this Moses +of the nations. + +It is an important role which God hath assigned to us +in the great drama of life, yet into a part so pregnant +with fate we too often inject the levity of the farce. +While preaching equal rights to all and special privileges +to none, we pass laws that divide the people of this land +into princes and paupers, into masters and slaves. On +July 4th we shout for the old flag, and all the rest of the +year we clamor for an appropriation. While boasting +that we are sovereigns by right divine and equal unto +kings, we hasten to lay our hair beneath the feet of every +scorbutic dude who hither drifts, + + "Stuck o'er with titles and hung around with strings." + +The soldier who serves the state demands a pension, and +every burning patriot wants an office. We boast that the +people rule, and office-holders are but public servants; yet +more than a moiety of us would hang our crowns on a +hickory limb and swim a river to break into official bondage. +Here in Texas seven distinguished citizens are already +chasing the governorship like a pack of hungry +wolves after a wounded fawn, while the woods are full of +brunette equines who have taken for their motto, + + "They also serve who only stand and wait." + + +Yes, our office-holders are indeed our public servants-- +and my experience with servants has been that they usually +run the whole shebang. + +Theoretically we have the best government on the globe, +but it is so brutally mismanaged by our blessed public +servants that it produces the same evil conditions that +have damned the worst. Even Americans whose forefathers +dined on faith at Valley Forge, or fought at +Lundy's Lane, have become so discouraged by political +bossism, so heartsick with hope deferred that they quote +approvingly those lines of Pope, + + "For forms government let fools contest, + Whate'er is best administered is best." + + +While boasting of popular government, we suffer +ourselves to be led about by self-seeking politicians like a +blind man by a scurvy poodle; we made partisanship +paramount to patriotism--have reserved the poet's line, +and now + + "All are for a party and none are for the state." + + +It were well for us to make July 4th less an occasion +for self-glorification than for prayerful consideration of +the dangers upon which we are drifting in these piping +times of peace--dangers that arise, not in foreign courts +and camps, but are conceived in sin by the American +plutocracy and brought forth in iniquity by our own political +bosses. We have no longer aught to fear from the outside +world. Uncle Sam can, if need be, marshal forth to +battle eight million as intrepid sons as those who crowned +old Bunker Hill with flame or bathed the crests of +Gettysburg with blood. Upon such a wall of oak and iron +the powers of the majestic world would beat in vain. Our +altars and our fanes are far beyond the reach of a foreign +foe; but the rock that recks not the thunderbolt nor bows +to the fierce simoon, is swept from its base by the +unconsidered brook. + +No man can be a patriot on an empty stomach; no +country can be secure, I care not if Moses makes its +constitution and Solon frame its laws, when half its people +are homeless and brawny giants must beg their bread. As +far back as history's dawn the rise of the plutocracy and +the impoverishment of the common people have heralded +the downfall of the state. Thus fell imperial Rome, that +once did rule the world, and Need and Greed are the +ballistae and battering-rams that are pounding to-day with +tremendous power upon every throne of Europe and rocking +the very civilization of the world from turret to +foundation stone. + +We have achieved liberty, but have yet to learn in this +strange new land the true significance of life. We have +made the dollar the god of our idolatry, the Alpha and +Omega of our existence, and bow the knee to it with a +servility as abject as that of courtiers kissing the hand of +Kings. As the old pagans sometimes incorporated their +lesser in their greater deities that they might worship all +at once, so have we put the Goddess of Liberty and Saving +Grace on the silver dollar that we may not forget them. + +But before God, I do believe that this selfish, this +Mammon-serving and unpatriotic age will pass, as passed the +age of brutish ignorance, as passed the age of tyranny. I +believe the day will come--oh blessed dawn!--when we'll +no longer place the badge of party servitude above the +crown of American sovereignty, the ridiculous oriflamme +of foolish division above Old Glory's star-gemmed promise +of everlasting unity; when Americans will be in spirit and +in truth a band of brothers, the wrongs of one the +concern of all; when brains and patriotism will take +precedence of boodle and partisanship in our national politics; +when labor will no longer fear the cormorant nor capital +the commune; when every worthy and industrious citizen +may spend his declining days, not in some charity ward, +but in the grateful shadow of his own vine and fig-tree, +the loving lord of a little world hemmed in by the sacred +circle of a home. There was a time, we're told, when to be +a Roman was greater than to be a King; yet there came +a time when to be a Roman was to be the vassal of a slave. +Change is the order of the universe and nothing stands. +We must go forward or we must go backward--we must +press on to grander heights, to greater glories, or see the +laurels already won turn to ashes on our brow. We may +sometimes slip; shadows may obscure our path; the boulders +may bruise our feet; there may be months of mourning +and days of agony; but however dark the night, Hope, +a poising eagle, will ever burn above the unrisen morrow. +Trials we may have and tribulations sore; but I say unto +you, oh brothers mine, that while God reigns and the +human race endures, this nation, born of our father's blood +and sanctified by our mother's tears, shall never pass away. + +* * * +THE LONE STAR. + +These balmy days, I often recall my ideas of Texas before +I had the pleasure of mingling with its people,--of becoming +myself a Texan. I regret to say that I had accepted +Phil Sheridan's estimate of the State--an opinion that +still prevails in too many portions of our common country. +After living in Texas for ten years I paid a visit to my +people beyond the beautiful Ohio. The old gentlemen sized +me up critically, evidently expecting to see me wearing +war-paint and a brace of bowie-knives. + +"So, young man, you're living in Texas?" + +"Yes, paw." + +"Fell kinder t'hum 'mong them centerpedes, cowboys 'n +other varments, I s'pose?" + +"Y-y-yes, paw." + +"Well, Billy, you allers was a mighty bad boy. I kinder +cackalated as how you'd go t'hell some day; but, praise +God, I never thought y' was bound fer Texas!" + +I assured him that were I certain hell were half as good +as Texas, I wouldn't worry so much about my friends who +were in politics for their health. + +Texas could well afford to spend a million dollars a +year for a decade to disabuse the minds of the Northern +people--to work it through their hair that the southwest +produces something besides hades and hoodlums, jack- +rabbits and jays. Were it generally known exactly what +Texas is,--what her people, climate and resources--there +are not railroads enough running into the state to handle +the men and money that would seek homes and investments +here. The year 1900 would see ten million prosperous +people between the Sabine and Rio Grande; and it would +be a people to be proud of,--the young blood of America, +the cream of Christendom, the brain and brawn of the +Western World. + +The light of the Lone Star cannot be much longer +hidden; it is breaking even now upon the earth. True +knowledge of Texas is spreading,--spreading over the icy +North, spreading over the barren East, spreading over +crowded Europe--and knowledge of Texas is power unto +her salvation. + +I was north last summer, and talked Texas, of course. +One day a long, lank, lingering eternity of a gawk sidled +up to me, as though he feared I was loaded, and said: + +"Great state, that Texas, I 'spose?" + +"Rather." + +"Purty big, I heer'n tell?" + +"Look at the map." + +"Gewhillikins, Maria! 'Tis purty dogon gosh-all-fired +big, haint she?" + +"That's whatever." + +" 'Spose you're a gineral, or a corporal, or suthin +nuther when you're t'hum?" + +"Nop." + +"N-no? Jedge, p'haps?" + +"No, sir; I am simply a plain, every-day citizen of +Texas,--not even a member of the legislature or candidate +for congress." + +"Hump! Say, Maria, I kinder thought as how that +slab-sided galoot was a lyin' when he said he was frum +Texas." + +He could not conceive of a Texan without a title. But +Texas will come out all right. I have faith in her future, +for many reasons; but chiefly because she has unbounded +confidence in herself--because nowhere will you find such +local patriotism, such state pride, such love of home as +beneath the Lone Star. There are rivalries, but they are +not born of bitterness. A Texas is all for Texas. + +Within the memory of living men, Oppression's fangs +wounded Freedom's snowy breast, and from the ruddy +drops Almighty God did make a star, the brightest that +ever blessed the world; but ever have the clouds of +calumny and the mists of malice obscured its matchless +beauty. Slowly but surely the rank vapors are rolling by, +and brighter and ever brighter blazes our astral emblem +--born in the field of battle, its lullaby the cannon's +thunder, its cradle the hearts of the brave, its nurse +necessity, its baptismal rite a rain of blood and tears. May it +forever be another beacon of Bethlehem to guide us on to a +grander future--a harbinger of hope and happiness, an +emblem of love and liberty, and in its deathless splendor go +ever shining on. + +* * * +SLAVE OR SOVEREIGN. + +STATUS OF THE AMERICAN CITIZEN. + +[Synopsis of an address delivered by Mr. Brann, +August 10, 1895.] + +FELLOW CITIZENS: If I had a million o' money--carefully +protected from the income tax by a plutocratic supreme +court--I would probably not be here to inquire whether +you are Slaves or Sovereigns. And if you could draw your +check for seven figures--with any probability of getting it +cashed--you would not be here to answer. You'd do just +as Dives did: lean back in your luxurious chair and absorb +your sangaree, while Lazarus scratched his Populist fleas +on your front steps and exploited your garbage barrels for +bones. You'd turn up your patrician nose at the lowly +proletaire, and if he did but hint that, having created this +world's wealth, he was entitled to something better than +hand-outs, you'd have an anti-communistic cat-fit and +denounce him as an insolent hoodlum who should be +comfortably hanged. That's human nature to a hair, and you +are all human,--I suppose--even if the politicians do buy +you with gas and sell you for gold. + +I tell you frankly that I'm complaining, not because of +the other fellow's colossal fortune, but because I can't +strike the plutocratic combination. I'm dreadfully anxious +to accumulate a modest fortune--of about fifty millions-- +that I may build a comfortable orphan asylum for that +vast contingent of Democratic politicians whom the next +election will deprive of their "pap." + +I'm no philanthropist who's trying to reform the world +for the fun of the thing--who's willing to starve to death +for the sake of an attractive tombstone. I want to so +amend industrial conditions that I won't have to hustle so +hard--and so long--between meals; and when they are +bettered for me they will be bettered for you, and for +every man who--with pick or pen, brain or brawn-- +honestly earns his daily bread. + +I want more holidays; more time to sit down and reflect +that it is good to be alive; more time to go fishing--not +fishing for men, but for sure--enough suckers. Here in +America if the average mortal aspires to fill a long-felt +want with first-class fodder, he's got to chase the almighty +dollar on week-days like a hungry coyote camping on the +trail of a corpulent jack-rabbit, and spend Sunday figuring +how to circumvent his fellow-citizen. Life with the +American people is one continental hurry, and rush from +the cradle to the grave. We're born in a hurry, live by +electricity and die with scientific expedition. Half of us don't +take time to become acquainted with our own families. +We've even got to courting by telephone, and I expect to +see some enterprising firm put up lover's kisses in tablet +form, so that they can be carried in the vest pocket and +absorbed while we figure cent per cent. or make out a +mortgage. + +. . . + +For a score of years I had been listening to the boast +of the American people that they were Sovereigns by right +divine, and at last it occurred to me to swear out a search +warrant for my crown and go on a still-hunt for my +scepter; but soon found that the jewels of my throne-room, +the rod of my authority and my purple robe of office +were conspicuous by their absence and I wasn't married at +the time either. The American citizen is a sovereign, not +to the extent of his voice and vote, but to the exact amount +of Uncle Sam's illuminated mental anguish plasters at his +command. Money is lord paramount, Mammon our +prophet, our god the golden calf. + +The dollar is indeed "almighty." It's the Archimedean +lever that lifts the ill-bred boor into select society and +places the ignorant sap-head in the United State Senate. +It makes presidents of "stuffed prophets," governors of +intellectual geese, philosophers of fools and gilds infamy +itself with supernal glory. It wrecks the altars of +innocence and pollutes the fanes of the people, breaks the +sword of Justice and binds the Goddess of Liberty with +chains of gold. It is lord of the land, the uncrowned king +of the commonwealth, and its whole religious creed is +comprised in the one verse, "To him that hath shall be given +and he shall have abundance, while from him that hath +not shall be taken even that which he hath." + +"We, the people, rule"--in the conventions; but our +delegated lawmakers have a different lord. In 1892 we +demanded "tariff reform" with a whoop that shook the +imperial rafters of heaven, and declared for the minting +of gold and silver without discrimination against either +metal. But our so-called "public servants," instead of +hastening to obey our behests, spent months manufacturing +excuses for disregarding their duty. Placed between +the devil of the money power and the deep sea of public +opinion, they wobbled in and they wobbled out like a +drunken boa-constrictor taking its jag to a gold cure +joint. They were like the little boy who put his trousers +on t'other side to--we couldn't tell whether they were +going to school or coming home. But our doubts were all +dispelled last November. They are the fellows who were +going to school--to that school of experience where fools +are educated. + +. . . + +Slave or Sovereign? The last is an individual entity, a +controlling power, his will is law. The first goes and +comes, fetches and carries at the command of a master; +creating wealth he may not possess, bound by laws he +does not approve, dependent upon the pleasure of others +for the privilege of breaking bread. Is not the latter +condition that of a majority of the American people to-day? +Are they not at the subsequent end of a financial hole, the +sides soaped and never a ladder in sight? + +In a country so favored--a veritable garden of the gods, +where every prospect pleases and not even the politician +is wholly vile--the lowliest laborer should be a lord, and +each and all find life well worth the living. But it is not +so. People starve while sunny savannas, bursting with +fatness, yield no food; they wander houseless through +summer's heat and winter's cold, while great mountains of +granite comb the fleecy clouds and the forest monarch +measures strength with the thunderstorm; they flee naked +and ashamed from the face of their fellow-men while fabrics +molder in the market-place and the song of the spindle is +silent: they freeze while beneath their feet are countless +tons of coal--incarnate kisses of the sun-god's fiery youth; +they have never a spot of earth on which to plant a vine +and watch their children play--where they may rear with +loving hands lowly roof and rule, lords of a little world +hemmed in by the sacred circle of a home; yet the common +heritage in the human race lies fair before them and +there is room enough. + +The people of Texas do not realize how terrible is the +industrial condition of the world to-day--how wide the +gulf that separates Dives and Lazarus, how pitiful the +poverty of millions of their fellowmen. The Texas merchant +complains of dull trade, the farmer of low prices, +the mechanic of indifferent wages; yet Texas is the most +favored spot on the great round earth to-day. I defy you +to find another portion of the globe of equal area and +population where the wealth is so well distributed, where so +few people go hungry to bed without prospect of breakfast. +But the grisly gorgon of Greed and the gaunt +specter of Need are coming West and South in the wake of +the Star of Empire. Already Texas has begun to breed +millionaires and mendicants, sovereigns and slaves. +Already we have an aristocracy of money, in which WEALTH +makes the man and want of it the fellow, and year by year +it becomes easier for Dives to add to his hoard and for +Lazarus to starve to death. + +We appeal to New York for capital with which to +develop our resources; and New York has it in abundance-- +countless millions she is eager to let out at usury; yet it is +estimated that ten thousand children perish in that city +every year of the world for lack of food--and how many +are kept alive by the bitter bread of a contemptuous +charity God only knows. In one year 3,000 children were +debarred from the public schools of Chicago because of lack +of clothing to cover their nakedness--and Chicago boasts +herself "the typical American city." The despised +Salvation Army trying to feed a thousand homeless and hungry +men on the sandlots of San Francisco proves that already +the curse has travelled across the continent. + +And people who are not only permitted to run at large, +but actually elected to office, prattle of "overproduction" +--while people are starving in nakedness; proposes to +eliminate pauperism and inaugurate the industrial +millennium by placing fiddle-strings on the free-list or +increasing the tariff-tax on toothpicks--to relieve the country +of the commercial jim-jams by means of the gold cure. And +the fool-killer still procrastinates! + +. . . + +The American citizen is called a sovereign--by those +patriots who are preparing to sacrifice themselves on the +altar of a nice fat office. And perhaps he is; but I'm free. + +We are frequently told that the condition of labor is +better to-day than a century ago. That is half a truth, +yet wholly a falsehood. A century ago the workman knew +naught of many comforts and conveniences he now enjoys +--when he happens to have a job; but that was one +age, this quite another. Progress gives no man new wants, +and the luxuries of one generation become the necessities +of the next. To deny this--to limit the laborer to actual +necessaries as measured by a former age--were to relegate +him back to barbarism, to nomadism and nakedness. If +we should be content with what our fathers had, then they +should have been satisfied with the comforts enjoyed by +THEIR progenitors, and so on back until man digs roots +with his finger nails, attires himself in a streak of red +paint for winter overcoat and a few freckles for summer +ulster. It is by comparison with his fellows and not with +his fathers that man determines whether he's fortunate or +unfortunate--whether he's receiving his proper proportion +of the world's increase of wealth. A century ago there +was no such glaring inequality as now exists. There were +no fifty million dollar fortunes and no free-soup joints. If +the workman's piano was a jews-harp and his Pullman +car a spavined cayuse, his employer was not erecting +palaces in which to stable his blood stock, nor purchasing +dissolute princes for his daughters to play at marriage and +divorce with. If the farmer's wife wore linsey-woolsey and +went barefoot to save her shoes, her neighbor did not +import $5,000 gowns from "Paree" and put jeweled +collars on her pet cur. The difference in the condition of +Dives and Lazarus is more sharply defined than ever +before. It is not so much the pitiful poverty of the many +as the enormous wealth of the few that is fostering +discontent. Pride dallying with Sin begot Death; willful +waste is breeding Anarchy in the Womb of Want. The +lords and ladies of the house of Have revel in luxury such +as Lucullus never knew, while within sound of their feasting +gaunt children fight like famished beasts for that which +the breakfast garbage barrels afford. Private fortunes +make the famed wealth of Lydia's ancient kings appear but +a beggar's patrimony, while brawny giants must beg or +steal and starving mothers give the withered breast to +dying babes. + +Labor now seeks employment, not as a right, but as a +privilege. It has come to such a pitiful pass in this +"land of liberty," this "refuge of the world's oppressed," +that to afford a man an opportunity to employ his strength +or skill in the creation of wealth, a portion of which he +may retain for his own support, is regarded rather as a +privilege than a free contract between American Sovereigns +--an act of charity, for which the recipient should be duly +grateful. + +No man can be a freeman while dependent upon the +good will of an other for his bread and butter. He may be +a Sovereign dejure, but he's a Slave defacto. And under +present conditions the more labor-saving machinery he +invents, the tighter he rivets his chains. + +We had hoped and believed that human ingenuity was +about to lift the curse laid on Adam by his angry Lord; +the angel of Intellect to reimparadise the poor slave, place +his fetters on nature's tireless forces and declare that +never again should bread be eaten in the sweat of the brow; +but man proposes--and is sued for breach of promise. + +Were a man to declare labor-saving machinery and the +general development of the country a curse to the poor, he +would be branded as a "moss-back" or budding candidate +for Bedlam; yet it is unquestionably true that the further +the average individual gets from the so-called blessings of +civilization--the less he is affected by our boasted industrial +system--the smaller his danger of starving to death. + +Many of us can remember when we had little labor- +saving machinery in Texas; when railways were scarce as +consistent Christians at a colored camp-meeting, goods +were carried down from coast on the backs of burros and a +full-dress suit consisted chiefly of buckskin breeches and +a brace of angel makers. And we remember also that a +pauper was a curiosity; that the very cowboys played +poker at $10 ante with the sky for limit, the common +laborer carried coin in his belt and the merchant had +money to burn. Texas has developed wonderfully during +the last few decades. We now have improved machinery +--and extensive poor-farms; railways--and political +rings; a $3,000,000 capitol--and an army of unemployed. +We have built fine schools and finer churches, made the +black man our political brother and bought his vote. We +have exchanged our buckskin for broadcloth, our hair- +raising profanity for the hypocrite's whine, straight corn- +juice for the champagne-jag and the hip-pocket court for +the jackass verdict of the petit jury. But the cowboy now +plays penny-ante on credit or shoots craps for small coin; +the common laborer carries in his belt only a robust +appetite, while the merchant who dodges bankruptcy for +a dozen years considers himself the special favorite of +fortune. + +And what is true of Texas is true in greater or less +degree of every State in the Union. Development, so dear +to the heart of the patriotic and public-spirited citizen, has +a tendency to transform an independent and moderately +prosperous people into masters and slaves. But this is +not the fault of labor-saving machinery, nor of capital, +nor of development by itself considered. The more wealth +labor creates, the more it should enjoy. When the reverse +is the case distribution is at fault. + +The substitution of expensive machinery for hand-labor +eliminated the independent artisan. His productive power +was multiplied; but his independence--his ability to care +for himself without the cooperation of large capital-- +was gone. The wheelwright could not return to his shop +nor the shoemaker to his last and live in comfort. +Competition with the iron fingers of the great factory were +impossible. Labor must now await the pleasure of capital-- +the creature has become lord of its creator. The fierce +competition of idle armies forces wages down, and slowly +but surely the workman is sinking back to the level +occupied before the cunning brain of genius harnessed the +lightning to his lathe and gave him nerves of steel and +muscles of brass with which to fight his battle for bread. + +With the improved machinery with which he is provided, +the American workman can create as much wealth in a +week as he need consume in a month; but he goes down +on his knees and thanks God and the plutocracy for an +opportunity to toil 300 days in the year for a bare +subsistence. + +. . . + +Unfortunately, I have no catholicon for every industrial +ill--but the political drug-stores are full of 'em. All +you've got to do is to select your panacea, pull the cork +and let peace and plenty overflow a grateful land--so we're +told. Instead of the cure-me-quicks prescribed by the +economic M.D.'s, I believe that our industrial system has +been doped with entirely too many drugs. I'd throw +physic to the dogs, exercise a little common-sense and +give nature a chance. There's an old story of an Arkansaw +doctor who invariably threw his patients into fits +because he was master of that complaint; but the economic +M.D.'s can't even cure fits. When they attempt it the +patient goes into convulsions. + +Instead of going to so much trouble to bar out cheap +goods by means of tariff walls, I'd bar out cheap men. If +you're making monkey-wrenches at $2 a day and some +fellow abroad is building 'em for 50 cents, your boss +comes to you and says: + +"Jim, we've got to have a tariff to keep out the product +of pauper labor or our nether garment's ripped from +narrative to neck-band. I can't pay you $2 and compete with +an employer who pays but 50 cents." + +That sounds reasonable and you swing back on the +G.O.P. tow-line and lay a tariff-tax on monkey-wrenches +that looms up like an old-time Democratic majority in +Texas. And while you are burning ratification tar-barrels +and trying to shake hands with yourself in the mirror +at the Mechanic's Exchange, that 50 cent fellow crosses +the briny and robs you of your bench. Your old employer +is protected all right, but where do you come in? You +don't come in; you simply stand out in the industrial +norther. You count the railroad ties from town to town +while your wife takes in washing, your daughter goes to +work in a factory at two dollars a week and your son +grows up an ignorant Arab and gets into ward politics +or the penitentiary. You can't compete with the importation, +because you've been bred to a higher standard of +living. You must have meat three times a day, a newspaper +at breakfast and a new book--or the ICONOCLAST +--after supper. You must have your plunge bath and +spring bed, your clean shave and Sunday shirt. How can +you hope to hold your job when a man is bidding for it +who takes up his belly-band for breakfast, dines on slum- +gullion and sucks his breath for supper; to whom literature +is an unknown luxury, a bath a deplorable accident, +and a crummy old blanket a comfortable bed? You can't +do it, and if you'll take the Apostle's advice you'll quit +trying. + +No; I wouldn't prevent the immigration of worthy +Europeans--men of intelligence, who dignify labor. We have +millions such in America, and they are most estimable +citizens. Our ancestors were all Europeans, and that +man who is not proud of his parentage should have been +born a beast. But I'd knock higher than Gilderoy's kite +the theory that America should forever be the dumping- +ground for foreign filth--that people will be warmly +welcomed here whom no other country wants and the devil +wouldn't have. + +We have made American citizenship entirely too cheap. +We permit every creature that can poise on its hind legs +and call itself a man, to sway the scepter of American +Sovereignty--to become an important factor in the formation +of our public polity; and then, with this venal vote on +the one hand, eager to be bought, and the plutocrat on the +other anxious to buy, we wonder why it is that the invariable +tendency of our laws is to make the rich man a prince +and the poor man a Populist--why we are "great only in +that strange spell, a name." + +In this work of reform we've got to begin at the bottom +--with the body politic itself. You can't make a silk +purse of a sow's ear, nor Sovereigns of men who were born +to be Slaves. We've got to grade up or we're gone. Only +superior Intelligence is capable of self-government-- +Ignorance and Tyranny go hand in hand. You may theorize +until the Bottomless Pit is transformed into a skating +park; you may vote tariffs high or low and money hard or +soft; you may inaugurate the Single-Tax or transform the +American Republic into a commune, but the condition of +the hewers of wood and the drawers of water will never be +permanently bettered while Ignorance and Vice have access +to the ballot-box. + +We have carried the enchanting doctrine of "political +equality" entirely too far and are paying the penalty. +The rebound from the monstrous doctrine of the divine +right of monarchs has hurried us into equal error. Disgusted +with the rottenness of the established religion, the +French people once crowned a courtesan as Goddess of +Reason; maddened by the insolence of hereditary officialism, +our fathers placed the rod of power in the hoodlum's +reckless hand and bound upon the stupid brow of hopeless +nescience Columbia's imperial crown. That the greater +must guide the lesser intelligence is nature's immutable +law. To deny this were to question our right to rule the +beast and God's authority to reign King of all mankind. +Self-preservation will yet compel us to guard the sacred +privileges of American sovereignty as jealously as did +Rome her citizenship. + +. . . + +Do this, and all other needed reforms will follow as +surely and as swiftly as the day-god follows the dawn. +Knowledge is power. When those who vote fully understand +that every dollar expended by government, federal, +state or municipal, must be created by the common people +--that first or last, labor must furnish it forth--we'll cease +having billion-dollar Congresses. We'll cease paying a +hundred and forty millions per annum in federal pensions; +we'll cease wasting a King's ransom annually in pretending +to "improve" intermittent creeks and impossible harbors +solely for political navigation; we'll cease borrowing +money in time of peace to bolster up that foolish financial +fetich known as the "gold-reserve"; we'll cease making so +many needless laws and paying aspiring patriots fat +salaries to harass us with their enforcement; we'll cease +exempting from taxation the half-million dollar church +and laying a heavier mulct on the mechanic's cottage and +the widow's cow; we'll cease paying preachers five dollars +a minute to stand up in our legislative halls and insult +Almighty God with perfunctory prayers; we'll cease building +so many palatial prisons where thieves and thugs +may be cared for at the expense of honest people, but +will divide criminals into classes--those who should be +peremptorily hanged, and those who should be whipped and +turned loose to hustle their own hash. Nothing knocks +the sawdust out of false sentiment so quickly as the +realization that it's an expensive luxury and that we must pay +the freight. + +Billion-dollar Congresses, eh? Do you know what that +means? There are less than fifteen million wealth creators +in this country, and the last farthing of it comes out of +their pockets--something over $66 apiece! If you had it +in silver dollars--and I suppose that most of you would +accept silver--you couldn't count it in a century. Lay the +coins edge to edge and they'll belt the world. Pile them +on top of each other and you'll have a silver shaft more +than 1,750 miles high. Sand your hands and climb it. +Perchance from the top you'll see many things--among +others what is oppressing the poor. And while up in that +rarefied atmosphere, where the vision is good and thinking +probably easy, you will look around for those other pyramids +of expense annually erected by state, county and +municipal government, then come down firm in the faith +that if this isn't a great government it ought to be, +considering what it costs. No wonder the workman carries in +his pocket only an elegant assortment of holes! + +We're governed entirely too much--Officialism is +becoming a veritable Old Man of the Sea on the neck of Labor's +Sinbad. About every fifth man you meet is a public servant +of some sort, and you cannot get married or buried, +purchase a drink or own a dog except with a by-your-leave +to the all-pervading law of the land. In some states suicide +itself is an infraction of the criminal code, and if the +police don't cut you down in time to put you in jail the +preachers will send you to hell. Every criminal law this +state and county and city needs can be printed in a book +no larger than the ICONOCLAST, and that so plain that he +who runs may read and reading understand. And when +so printed and so understood, without the possibility of +misconstruction, they could be enforced at one-fifth the +cost of the present judicial failure. We have so many +laws and so much legal machinery that when you throw a +man into the judicial hopper not even an astrologer can +tell whether he'll come out a horse-thief or only a homicide +--or whether the people will weary of waiting on the +circumlocution office and take a change of venue to Judge +Lynch. + +This can never be a land of religious liberty--the atheist +can never be considered as on a political parity with his +ultra-orthodox brother--until we compel church property +to bear its pro rata of the public burdens. + +And right here let me say a word about the "Apostle." +I have been accused by people--for whom no cherry-tree +blooms or little hatchet is ground--of being a rank atheist +and a red-flag anarchist. It has been broadly intimated +that I'm trying to rip the Christian religion up by the +roots, rob trusting hearts of their hope and deprive the +preacher of his daily bread. Now I might just as well +confess to you that I'm no angel. If I were I'd fly out of +Texas till the bifurcated Democratic party has another +"harmony" deal. When you hear people denouncing me +as an atheist, just retire to your closet and pray, "Father +forgive them, for they know not what they do." And you +might add, that nobody cares. No mortal son of Adam's +misery can produce one line I ever wrote, or quote one +sentence I ever uttered, disrespectful of ANY religion--and +that's more than you can say of most of the ministers. + +But it is not right, it is not just that the little holdings +of the poor should be relentlessly taxed and costly temples +exempted--palatial edifices in which polite society pretends +to worship One who broke bread with beggars and +slept in the brush. Such an arrangement signifies neither +good religion nor good sense. It's the result of sanctified +selfishness. I believe in taxing luxuries, and a costly +church is not a necessity. At least Christ did not think so, +for he never built one. + +Congregations that can afford to erect fine churches and +export saving grace to the pagans of foreign climes, can +afford to pay taxes and thereby help American heathern +out of the hole. A million men out of employment, pacing +our streets in grim despair; a million children coming +up in ignorance and crime; a million women hesitating +between the wolf of want and the abundance of infamy, +and the church--supposed to be God's ministering angel-- +crying, "Give, give! If you can't give much, give little. +Remember the widow's mite"--so acceptable to a pauper +deity. + +Give for what? To build fine temples in whose sacred +shadows will lurk the gaunt specter of Famine and the +grisly gorgon of Crime. To buy grand organs and costly +bells to peal praises to One who had nowhere to lay his +head. To pay stall-fed preachers five, ten, twenty thousand +dollars a year to expound the doctrine of a poor +carpenter who couldn't have kept a silver dollar in his +jeans a single day while there was poverty and suffering +in the world. + +While the wealth-producer is robbed to pension +millionaires who suffered mental anguish because of the draft, +and to administer worse than useless laws, still the amount +so unnecessarily abstracted would be but a mere bagatelle +if labor was steadily employed and reaped its just reward. +With the mighty energies of this nation in full play and +the wealth remaining with its producers, we could give +even all the candidates an office, with plenty to get and +little to do, and still have pie in the pantry and corn in +the crib. There is something more the matter than governmental +waste--there's something RADICALLY wrong. + +. . . + +In tracing the causes of panics and periods of business +depression, we invariably find our currency more or less at +fault. Now don't get frightened. I'm not going to dose +you with free silver nor give you the gold cure. This is +neither Coin's Financial School nor a gold-bug incubator. +The currency question is one you know all about. Everybody +does--especially the corner-grocery politician. He +understands it from A to Izzard--knows almost as much +about it as a hello-girl does of the nature of electricity. +Prof. Jevon truly says that "a kind of intellectual vertigo +appears to seize people when they talk of money." Perhaps +the Goddess of Liberty on the silver dollar has 'em +Trilbyized. + +We hear a great deal of late about the "science of +money." It's supposed to be something very esoteric-- +something that a fellow can only master by drawing heavily +on his gray matter, by working his think-machine up +to the limit and sweating blood. Now let me tell you that +there is no "science of money," any more than there's a +science of harvesting hoop poles or fighting flies. When a +man begins to give you an interminable song and dance +about the science of money, just you send for the police +and have him locked up as a dangerous lunatic. + +Here's a ticket good for so many meals at a restaurant +--an order for so much wealth; and here's a silver dollar +--no 'tisn't; it's a check on a--er--on a "resort"; in fact, +on a saloon; an I.O.U. for 11 cents, the price of a +cigar--or something--I suppose. "Man should not live +by bread alone." Now what's the difference between this +ticket and check and the currency issued by the government? +Simply this: These are the I.O.U.'s of individual's +money, the I.O.U.'s of the entire American people. These +are orders for certain kinds of wealth at particular places; +money is an order for all kinds of wealth at any place +within the jurisdiction of the federal government. This +ticket is the check of one American, drawn against his +personal wealth and credit; this bill is the check of all +Americans, drawn against the collective wealth and credit +of the nation. That's all the difference between a cocktail +check and a coin, between a meal ticket and a ten +dollar bill. Neither is worth a rap unless it can be +REDEEMED. Like sanctification caught at a camp-meeting, +there must be a hereafter to it or its a humbug. But don't +you metallists take that as a premise and jump at conclusions +or you're liable to sprain your logical sequence. +What kind of redemption did I have in view when I +acquired this che--I mean this ticket? I expected that it +would be redeemed in something that would expand my +surcingle and enable me to cast a shadow--in eggs and +oleomargarine, corn-bread and buttermilk. And if so +redeemed on demand, is it not a GOOD TICKET--is it not +WORTH ITS FACE? What kind of redemption did I expect +when I acquired this bill? I expected it to be redeemed +in the necessaries of life--or possibly the luxuries. Who +issued it? The government. Who's the government? +The people. And when the people have given me bread +and butter, tobacco and transportation, clothing and +cocktails, and afforded me police protection to the extent +of my ten dollars hasn't it been REDEEMED in the manner +I anticipated--in the only way in which money can be +redeemed? If I exchange this bill for a gold eagle what +have I got? Another governmental drink-check or meal- +ticket that awaits redemption. And there you have the +whole "science of money," over which politicians have so +long puzzled their brains that their think-tanks have got +full of logical wiggletails. A dollar, whether it be made of +gold, silver or paper, is simply an order which the people +in their official capacity give against all the wealth, actual +and potential, of the nation; and unless the holder can +get it promptly redeemed in food and clothing, he's in a +terribly bad fix. + +. . . + +Every few years our industrial system gets the jim-jams. +Capital flies to cover, factories close and labor goes +tramping across the country seeking honest employment and +receiving a warm welcome--from militia companies with +shotted guns. Cheerful idiots begin to prattle of "over- +production," the economic M.D.'s to refurbish all the old +remedies, from conjure bags to communism. They all +know exactly what caused the "crisis" and what to do for +it; but despite the doctors the patient usually--survives. +And the M.D. who succeeds in cramming his pet panacea +down its throat claims all the credit for the recovery. We +are slowly emerging from the crash of '93, and the cuckoos +are cock-sure that Cleveland hoodooed with that financial +rabbit-foot known as the gold-reserve--that a country +fairly bursting with wealth was saved from the demnition +bowwows by the blessed expedient of going into debt; that +labor found salvation by shouldering an added burden in +the shape of interest-bearing bonds. Hereafter when a +burro tries to lie down beneath a load that's making him +bench-legged, we'll just pile a brick house or two on top +of him, and, with ears and tail erect, he'll strike a Nancy +Hanks gait and come cavorting down the home stretch. +When a statesman can see such things as that while wide +awake and perfectly sober, he ought to consult a doctor. +No wonder the Democratic party spilt wide open--transformed +from an ascendent sun into a bifurcated Biela's +comet, wandering the Lord knows whither. + +The gold reserve, we are told, is to "protect the credit +of our currency." Protect it from whom? You and I +are making no assault upon it--wouldn't hurt it for the +world. When we get a paper or silver dollar we don't trot +around to the treasury to have it "redeemed" in a slug of +yellow metal--we make a bee line for the grocery store +and have it redeemed in a side o' bacon. Who is it that +chisels desolation into the blessed gold reserve--the so- +called "bulwarks of our currency?" The fellows who +want bonds--the capitalistic, the creditor class; the men +who own the mortgages and have millions of dollars corded +up in bank--the men who have most to LOSE by any bobble +in the credit of our currency. And every time the capitalist +tries to hoist himself with his own petard, the +administration smothers the blaze with a block of interest- +bearing bonds. If he wants to make a sky-rocket of himself, +let him kerosene his coat-tails and apply the match. +If the gold reserve were really necessary to the credit of +our currency, capitalists would no more make war upon +it than they would bestride a buzz-saw making a million +revolutions a minute. Instead of systematically draining +it they would, whenever it struck "the danger-line," +gather all the gold they could get and send it on to +Washington. The capitalists are not crazy; they've simply got +a soft snap in that "bulwark" business and are working +it for an it's worth. + +Calico is sold by the yard, kerosene by the gallon, coffee +by the pound. These measures are immutable, and those +who buy and sell by them make their contract in perfect +confidence. But suppose they altered from day to day +or from year to year,--the yard ranging from 25 to 50 +inches, the pound from 10 to 20 ounces; would our +exchanges be effected without much friction, think you? +Would not such a ridiculous system of weights and +measures paralyze exchange and demoralize industry? +Would not those who could juggle the system to suit +themselves--buying by a long and selling by a short yard-- +accumulate colossal fortunes at the expense of the common +people? Would we not have "panics" in plenty and +"depressions" galore? Well, that is exactly what is +happening to the dollar, our measure of value, the most +important of all our trade tools. And mark you, a change +in the purchasing power of the dollar is equivalent to an +alteration of every weight and measure employed by +commerce. Understand? When the purchasing power of the +dollar expands or contracts it has the same effect on +exchange as would the expansion or contraction of the yard, +the gallon and the pound. + +A shifting measure of value is the nigger in our +industrial woodpile. We have got to have a measure of value +that's as immutable as our measure of quantity; a dollar +as reliable as an official pound; a dollar that's the same +yesterday, and to-day and forever, before we see the last +of these panics and periods of business depression. We +have got to have a currency that will adapt itself +automatically and infallibly to the requirements of commerce-- +that will constitute an ever-effective exchange medium-- +before we can obtain a smooth working industrial machine +and the maximum employment of labor. + +We know from experience that gold will not supply us +with such a currency, that silver will not do it, that bi- +metallism will not do it--that greenbackism, as we understand +the term, will not come within a mile of it. Then +what will do it? That's the problem. Solve it, and you +forever put an end to commercial panics in a land of +plenty; you deprive capital of its power to oppress labor; +you assure industry a constant friend where it has so often +found an insidious foe. Solve it and Columbia can furnish +happy homes for half the world--homes unhaunted by the +wolf of want, but crowned with sweet content and gilded +with freedom's glory. + +For a century economists have been seeking the solution +of this all-important problem. Even conservative old +Adam Smith dreamed of the emancipation of the world +from the multifarious ills of metallic money; but we still +cling with slavish servility to the silver of Abraham and +the gold of Solomon. + +I do not claim to have found the philosopher's stone, for +which so many wiser men have sought in vain; but the +currency plan I proposed in 1891--and which was again +outlined in the ICONOCLAST for May of this year--has +been carefully examined by the ablest financiers of Europe +and America, and they have been unable to point out a +fundamental fault. It is known as the interconvertible +bond-currency plan, by which our circulating media would +be bottomed on the entire wealth of the nation instead of +upon fragments of metal of fluctuating value; by which the +volume of the currency would depend, not upon the +fecundity of the mines, the fiat of Congress or the greed +of Wall street, but upon the needs of commerce itself. +By this plan the proportion between the money-work to be +done and the money available to do it is always the same; +hence it would afford an immutable measure of value. In +studying the plan it is well to bear in mind that our foreign +trade--that bogy man of the metallists--has no more to +do with our currency than with our pint cups and bushel- +baskets--no more than with our language and religion; +that we can pay our foreign debts and collect our foreign +credits only in commodities; that the prattle indulged in +by the metallists anent "money that is good the world +over" is mere goose-speech--that there is no such money. +We buy and sell with England and France to the extent +of tens of millions annually; yet I haven't seen a British +guinea or a French franc in fifteen years. And if you +had a foreign coin and should go around to a resort, and +call for a glass of--er--of buttermilk, and plank the little +stranger down on the counter, the party in the white apron +and Alaska dazzler would say: + +"Wot yer givin' us?" + +You'd reply: "I'm givin you gold--money good the +world over." + +"Wot is it--watch charm? Dis ain't no pawn shop." + +"But that's money." + +"Eh?" + +"Money--gold coin that maketh the heart glad." + +"Wot kind o' money?" + +"It's a British guinea." + +"Well, why don't you go to Great Britain to blow yourself?" + +"But my dear sir, this is money of final payment. This +is value itself. This does not depend on the stamp of +government, but circulates throughout the world on its +intrinsic merit." + +"Well, it don't circulate in this joint. See?" + +Slam your THEORIES up against CONDITIONS before you tie +to them. + +. . . + +You all know that in this country there should be no +such thing as able-bodied pauperism. You know that until +the last arable acre is brought to the highest possible +cultivation, every mine developed, every forest made to +contribute to the creature comfort of man, there should be +remunerative work for all. You know that, with the aid +of wealth-creating machinery every laborer should be able +to acquire a competence to comfort his declining days. +You know that until Need is satisfied and Greed is gorged +there can be no such thing as overproduction--that under +normal conditions when there's a plethora of necessaries, +the surplus energy of the nation turns to the creation of +luxuries and the standard of living advances. You know +that with such wonderful resources, touched by the magic +wand of genius, the golden age of which poets have dreamed +and for which philanthropists have prayed, should be even +at our doors. + +I hope to contribute in some slight degree to the +establishment of conditions that will enable us to utilize to the +utmost the free gifts of a gracious God; to the proper +distribution of wealth; to the emancipation of labor, not by +the law of blind force, but enlightened self-interest--not +by riotous revolution, but peaceful evolution. I want to +see every American Citizen in very truth a Sovereign, to +whom life is a joy instead of a curse. I want to see every +rag transformed into a royal robe, every hovel into a cultured +home. I want to hasten, if by ever so little, the day +when we can boast with the proud sons of imperial Rome, +that to be an American is greater than to be a king. + +And when we so amend industrial conditions that each +can find employment at profitable prices, we do more to +eliminate crime and foster morality than have all the +prophets and preachers, from Melchizedeck the mythical to +Talmage the turgid. + +No man can be either a patriot or a consistent Christian +on an empty stomach--he's merely a savage animal, a +dangerous beast. You must get a square meal inside of a +man and a clean shirt outside of him before he's fit subject +for saving grace. You must give him a bath before +he's worth baptizing. And when you get him clean and +well clothed, fed and housed as a reward of his own honest +industry, he's not far from the Kingdom of God. But +if you want to degrade a people beyond redemption; if you +want to transform them into contemptible peons and whining +hypocrites who encumber the earth like so much unclean +vermin, educate them to feed on the crumbs from +Dives' banquet-board and accept his cast-off clothing with +obsequious thankfulness. + +The concentration of wealth in the hands of the few and +the impoverishment of the common people until it was the +bread of charity or the blood of the revolution, has ever +been the herald of moral decay and of national death. So +passed the glory of Greece and the grandeur of Rome, and, +if we may judge the future by the past, so will perish the +greatest republic that ever gleamed like a priceless jewel +on the skeleton hand of Time. Self-interest, humanity, +patriotism, religion itself, admonish us to weigh well the +problem of the hour--a problem born of human progress, +forced upon us by the mighty revolution wrought in the +industrial world by the giant Steam--and that problem is: +Shall the average American Citizen be a Slave or a +Sovereign? + +Don't imagine for a moment that I'm an anarchist-- +that I'm going to wind up this seance by unfurling the red +flag and throwing a hatful of bombs. I admit that I +haven't much respect for law--there's so much of it that +when I come to spread my respect over the entire lot it's +about as thin as one of Sam Jones's sermons. Still, I don't +believe in strikes, and riots and bloodshed. I'm for peace +--peace in its most virulent form. I've had a sneaking +respect for Cleveland ever since he employed a substitute +to put a kibosh on the Southern Confederacy while he +remained at home to play pinochle with the pretty girls. He +may not be much of a statesman in time of peace, but +there's no picnic ants on his judgment in time of war. + +It is time that capital and labor realized that their +interests are really commutual, as interdependent as the +brain and the body; time they ceased their fratricidal +strife and, uniting their mighty forces under the flag of +Progress, completed the conquest of the world and doomed +Poverty, Ignorance and Vice--hell's great triumvirate--to +banishment eternal. Unless labor is employed, capital +cannot increase--it can only concentrate. Unless property +rights are held inviolable and capital thereby encouraged +to high enterprise, labor is left without a lever with +which to lift itself to perfect life and must sink back to +barbarism. + +It is time that American citizens of alleged intelligence +ceased trailing blindly in the wake of partisan band- +wagons and began to seriously consider the public welfare +--time they realized that the people were not made for +parties, but parties for the people, and refuse to sacrifice +their patriotism on the unclean altar of partisan slavery. +Blind obedience to party fiat; the division of the people +of one great political family into hostile camps; subjection +of the public interest to partisan advantage; placing +the badge of party servitude above the crown of American +sovereignty--the ridiculous oriflamme of foolish division +above Old Glory's star-gemmed promise of everlasting +unity--have brought the first nation of all world to the +very brink of destruction. + +. . . + +It is difficult for people here in Texas to understand the +industrial condition of the American nation today; to +appreciate the dangers upon which it is drifting. We are +too apt to imagine everybody as prosperous and conservative +as ourselves; or if not so, it's because they do not +vote the Democratic ticket--that panacea for all the ills +that flesh is heir to. Here in Texas we have hung our +second providence on the Democratic party--it has become +a religion with us. If a man is orthodox in his political +faith all things are forgiven him; but if there's any doubt +about his Democracy we are inclined to regard him as an +alien, if not an anarchist. Most of us enjoy the shadow +of our own vine and fig tree--which it is impossible to +mortgage. We feed three times a day, have a cocktail +every morning, a clean shirt occasionally and even when +cotton goes so low it doesn't pay for the paris-green to +poison the worms, we blame it on the Lord instead of on +our political leaders. But it's different in other sections +of the Union. + +America contains more than a million as desperate men +as ever danced the Carmagnole or shrieked with brutal +joy when the blood of French aristocrats reddened the +guillotine. The dark alleys and unclean dives of our great +cities are crowded with dangerous sans-culotte, and our +highways with hungry men eager for bread--though the +world blaze for it. Pauperism is rampant, the criminal +classes increasing and everywhere the serpent of Socialism +is leaving it's empoisoned slime. Suppose that these +desperate elements find a determined leader--a modern Marat, +who will make the most of his opportunities for evil: how +many of that vast contingent now clinging with feeble +grasp to the rotten skirts of a doubtful respectability, +would be swept into the seething vortex of unbridled +villainy? Note the failure of public officials to protect +corporate property; the necessity of calling for federal +bayonets and batteries to suppress labor riots; the +dangerous unrest of the common people; the sympathy of the +farmer--that Atlas upon whose broad shoulders rests our +political and industrial world--with every quasi-military +organization that throws down the gage of battle to the +powers that be, then tell me, if you can, where Dives may +look for defenders should the rabble rise in its wrath, the +bullet supplant the ballot in the irrepressible conflict +between the Cormorant and the Commune! And what are +we doing to avert the danger? Distributing a little dole +and preaching patience to starving people; quarreling +about the advisability of "counting a quorum" or coining +a little silver seigniorage; wrangling over the "rights" of +a mid-Pacific prostitute to rule Celts and Saxons, and +trying to so "reform" the tariff that it will yield more +revenue with less taxation! We are bowing down before +various pie-hunting political gods and electing men to +Congress who couldn't tell the Federal Constitution from +Calvin's Confession of Faith. We are sending street- +corner economists to state and national conventions to +evolve from their innate ignorance and gild with their +supernal gall political platforms which we are pledged +beforehand to accept as the essence of all worldly wisdom. +Our patriotism has been supplanted by partisanship, and +now all are for a party and none are for the state. On +July 4 we shout for the old flag and all the rest of the +year we clamor for an appropriation. The man who is +kicked by a nightmare while dreaming of the draft demands +a pension and every burning patriot wants an office. +And while our ship of state is threading with unsteady +course the stormy straits between the Scylla of Greed +and the Charybdis of Need; its canvas torn by contending +winds; its decks swept by angry waves, we boast of the +strength of our "free institutions"--as though Republics +had never fallen nor revolutions erased from the map of +the world proud Empires that imagined themselves immortal. + +But before God I do believe this selfish and unpatriotic +age will pass, as passed the age of brutish ignorance, as +passed the age of tyranny. I believe the day will come-- +oh blessed dawn!--when the angel of Intellect will banish +the devil of Demagogy; when Americans will be in spirit +and in truth a band of brothers, the wrongs of one the +concern of all; when labor will no longer fear the Cormorant +nor capital the Commune--when all men will be equal +before the law wherever falls the shadow of our flag. + +* * * +RAINBOW-CHASERS. + +[This is the lecture that Mr. Brann delivered and was +to continue on his lecture tour, which was cut short by his +death.] + +LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: There are many things which I +very cordially dislike; but my pet aversion is what is known +as a "set" lecture--one of those stereotyped affairs that +are ground out with studied inflection and practiced gesture +and suggest the grinding of Old Hundred on a hurdy- +gurdy; hence I shall ask permission to talk to you tonight +as informally and as freely as though we were seated in +friendly converse around the soda fount of a Kansas drug +store; and I want you to feel as free to talk back as +though we had gotten into this difficulty by accident +instead of design. Ask me all the questions you want to, and +if I'm unable to answer offhand I'll look the matter up +later and telegraph you--at your expense. With such +unbounded liberty there's really no telling whither we will +drift, what subjects we may touch upon; but should I +inadvertently trample upon any of your social idols or +political gods, I trust that you will take no offense--will +remember that we may honestly differ, that none of us are +altogether infallible. Lest any of you should mistake me +for an oratorical clearing-sale or elocutionary bargain- +counter, expect a Demosthenic display and be disappointed, +I hasten to say that I am no orator as Brutus +was, but simply a plain, blunt man, like Mark Antony, +who spoke right on and said what he did know, or thought +he knew, which was just as satisfactory to himself. He's +dead now, poor fellow! Woman in the case, of course. +Shakespeare assures us that "men have died from time to +time and worms have eaten them, but not for love." However +that may be, Antony's just as dead as though he had +died for love--or become a gold-bug "Democrat." Yes, +Mark Antony's gone, but we still have Mark Hanna. One +threw the world away for Cleopatra's smile, the other +threw Columbia's smile away for a seat in the Senate, and +so it goes. Of the two Marks, I think Antony was the +easiest. + +. . . + +But let us take a look at our text. The rainbow is a +sign, I believe, that the Prohibitionists once carried the +country and would have made a complete success of the +cold water cure had not the Rum Demon engineered the +Ark. Still it does not necessarily follow that a rainbow +chaser is a fellow on the hot trail of a blind tiger. He +may be one who hopes to raise the wage rate by means +of a tariff wall, or expects John Bull to assist Uncle Sam +in the remonetization of silver. A rainbow-chaser, in the +common acceptance of the term, is a fellow who mistakes +shadow for substance and wanders off the plank turnpike +into bogs and briar patches. Satan appears to have been +the first victim of the rainbow-chasing fad--to have bolted +the Chicago convention and run for president on the reform +ticket. At a very early age I began to doubt the +existence of a personal devil, whereupon my parent on my +father's side proceeded to argue the matter in the good old +orthodox way, but failed to get more than half the hussy +out of my hide. But we will not quarrel about the existence +or non-existence of a party who Milton assures us slipped +on a political orange peel. We know that frauds and +fakes exist, that hypocrites and humbugs abound. +Whether this be due to the pernicious activity of a horned +monster or to evil inherent in the human heart, I will not +assume to say. We may call that power the devil which +is forever at war with truth, is the father of falsehood, +whether it be an active personality or only a vicious +principle. + +. . . + +Under the direction of this devil, real or abstract, the +world has gone rainbow chasing and fallen deep into the +Slough of Despond. Conditions have become so desperate +that it were well for you and I, who are in the world and +of it, to abate somewhat our partisan rancor, our sectarian +bitterness, and take serious counsel together. Desperate, +I say, meaning thereby not only that it becomes ever more +difficult for the workman to win his modicum of bread +and butter, to provide his own hemlock coffin in which to +go to hades--or elsewhere; but that honor, patriotism, +reverence--all things which our fathers esteemed as more +precious than pure gold--have well-nigh departed, that the +social heart is dead as a salt herring; that all is becoming +brummagem and pinch-beck, leather and prunella; that a +curse hath fallen upon the womb of the world, and it no +longer produces heaven-inspired men but only some pitiful +simulacra thereof, some worthless succedona for such, who +strive not to do their god-given duty though the world +reward them with a gibbet, but to win wages of gold and +grub, to obtain idle praise by empty plausibility. They +aspire to ride the topmost wave, not of a tempestuous +ocean which tries the heart of oak and the hand of iron, +but of some pitiful sectarian mud-puddle or political goose +pond. Under the guidance of these shallow self-seekers we +have abandoned the Ark of the Covenant with its Brotherhood +of Man, its solemn duties and sacred responsibilities, +and are striving to manage matters mundane on a basis +of brute selfishness, with a conscience or a creed of following +the foolish rainbow of a fatuous utilitaria and getting +even deeper into the bogs. + +. . . + +I have frequently been called a "chronic kicker," but do +not object to the epithet. There's need of good lusty +kickers, those whose No. 1 tootsie-wootsies are copper- +toed, for the world is lull of devilish things that deserve +to die. Lest any should accuse me of the awful sin of +using slang, and thereby break my heart, I hasten to say +that the Bible twice employs the word "kick" in the same +sense that I used it here. In fact, a goodly proportion of +our so-called slang is drawn from the same high source, +being vinegar to the teeth of pietistical purists, but quite +good enough for God. Some complain that I should build +instead of tearing down, should preserve and not destroy. +The complaint is well founded if it be wrong to attack +falsehood, to exterminate the industrial wolves and social +rottenness, to destroy the tares sown by the devil and give +dollar wheat a chance to arise and hump itself. In +determining what should be preserved and what destroyed, +we may honestly disagree; but I think all will concede that +what is notoriously untrue should be attacked, that we +should wage uncompromising war on whatsoever maketh or +loveth a lie. I think all will agree that this is pre-eminently +an age of artificiality--that there is little genuine +left in the land but the complexion of the ladies. Even +that has been called in question by certain unchivalrous +old bachelors, those unfortunates whom the ladies of Boston +propose to expel from politics for dereliction of duty. +Somehow an old bachelor always reminds me of a rainbow; +not because he looks like one in the least, but rather +because he's so utterly useless for all practical purposes. +He also reminds me of a rainbow-chaser, because what he +is compelled to admire is beyond his reach. When hope +deferred hath made him heart-sick he begins to growl at +the girls--and for the same reason that a mastiff barks at +the moon. You will notice that a mastiff seldom barks +much at anything he can get hold of and bite. + +. . . + +We are solemnly assured that the world is steadily +growing better; and I suppose that's so, for in days of +old they crucified men head downwards for telling the +truth, while now they only hammer them over the head +with six-shooters and drag 'em around a Baptist college +campus with a rope. All that a reformer now needs is a +hard head and a rubber neck. The cheerful idiot, alias the +optimist, is forever prating of the world's progress. +Progress is a desirable thing only when we make it in the +right direction. It may be sure and swift down a soaped +plank into wild ocean depths; or it may be with painful +steps and slow toward the eternal mountain tops where +breaks the great white light of God, and there's no more +of darkness and of death. Progress industrial, the +productive power of labor multiplied by two, by ten; and +with such improved weapons for waging war upon the +grisly gorgon of want, nearly nine millions of the +industrial army in India alone died upon their shields. +Hosannahs mounting in costly churches here, the starving babe +tugging at the empty breast of the dead mother there!-- +and we send to the famine-sufferers many bibles and hymn- +books, little bacon and beans. Bibles and hymn-books +are excellent things in their ways, but do not possess an +absorbing interest for the man with an aching void +concealed about his system. Starving people ask a Christian +world for grub, and it gives them forty'leven different +brands of saving grace--each warranted the only genuine +--most of these elixirs of life ladled out by hired +missionaries who serve God for the long green, and who are +often so deplorably ignorant that they couldn't tell a +religious thesis from an ichthyosaurian. + +Progress in religion until there's no longer a divine +message from on high, no God in Israel; only a fashionable +pulpiteering to minister to languid minds, the cultivation +of foolish fads and the flaunting of fine feathers-- +the church becoming a mere Vanity Fair or social clearing- +house, a kind of esthetic forecourt to hades instead of the +gate to heaven. At the opposite extreme we find blatant +blackguardism by so-called evangelists, who were educated +in a mule-pen and dismissed without a diploma, yet +who set up as instructors of the masses in the profound +mysteries of the Almighty. Men who would get shipwrecked +in the poetry of Shakespeare, or lost in the philosophy +of one of his fools, pretend to interpret the plans +of Him who writes his thoughts in flaming words on the +papyri of immensity, whose sentences are astral fire. + +Progress in science until we learn that the rainbow was +not built to allay the fears of the roachin family, but is +old as the sun and the sea; that bourbon whisky drills +the stomach full o' blow-holes and that the purest spring +water is full o' bacteria and we must boil it or switch to +beer; that Havana cigars give us tobacco heart, pastry is +the hand-maid of dyspepsia, while even the empurpled +grape is but a John the Baptist for appendicitis; that a +rich thief has kleptomania and should be treated at a +fashionable hospital instead of a plebian penitentiary, +while even the rosebud of beauty is aswarm with bacilli, +warning the sons of men to keep their distance on pain of +death. If all the doctors discovered be true then life isn't +half worth living--is stale, flat and unprofitable as a +Republican nomination in Texas. When the poet declared +that men do not die for love, the doctors had not yet +learned that a cornfed kiss that cracks like a dynamite +gun may be equally dangerous. I think the bolus-builders +are chasing rainbows--that if I wait for death until I'm +killed with kisses old Methuselah won't be a marker. + +Our car of progress, of which we hear so much, has +carried us from the Vates' vision of Milton and Dante to +Alfred Austin's yaller doggerel--to the raucous twitterings +of grown men who aspire to play Persian bulbul +instead of planting post-holes, who mistake some spavined +mule for Bellerophon's Mount and go chasing metrical +rainbows when they should be drawing a fat bacon rind +adown the shining blade of a bucksaw; from the flame sighs +of Sappho, that breed mutiny in the blood, to the green- +sick maunderings of atrabilarious maids who are best +qualified to build soft-soap or take a fall out of the +corrugated bosom of a washboard. We now have poetry, +so-called, everywhere--in books and magazine innumerable, +even sandwiched in between reports of camp-meetings, +political pow-wows and newspaper ads. for patent liver +pills. O, that the featherless jaybirds now trying to +twitter in long-primer type would apply the soft pedal +unto themselves, would add no more to life's dissonance +and despair! Most of our modern poets are bowed down +with more than Werterean woe. Their sweethearts are +cruel or fate unkind; they've got cirrhosis of the liver or +palpitation of the heart, and needs must spill their +scalding tears over all humanity. It seems never to have +occurred to the average verse architect that not a line of +true poetry was ever written by mortal man; that even +the song of Solomon and the odes of Anacreon are but as +the jingling of sweet bells out of tone, a dissonance in the +divine harmony; that you can no more write poetry than +you can paint the music of childhood's laughter, or hear +the dew-beaded jasmine bud breathing its sensuous perfume +to the morning sun. The true poets are those whose +hearts are harps of a thousand strings, ever swept by +unseen hands--those whose lips are mute because the soul +of man hath never learned a language. Those we call +master-poets and crown with immortelles but caught and +fixed some far off echo of deep calling unto deep--the lines +of Byron or a Burns, a Tasso or a Tennyson are but the +half-articulate cries of a soul stifling with the splendor of +its own imaginings. + +But we were speaking of progress when diverted by the +discordant clamor of featherless crows. I am no pecterist +with my face ever to the past. I realize that there has +been no era without its burden of sorrow, no time without +its fathomless lake of tears; that the past seems more +glorious than the present because the heart casts a glamour +over days that are dead. From the dust and glare of the +noon of life we cast regretful glances back to the dewy +morn, and as eve creeps on the shadows reach further +back until they link the cradle and the grave and all is +dark. I would not blot from heaven the star of hope, nor +mock one earnest effort of mankind; but I would warn +this world that its ideals are all wrong, that it's going +forward backwards, is chasing foolish rainbows that lead +to barbarism. Palaces and gold, fame and power--these +by thy gods, O! Israel--mere fly-specked eidolons worthy +no man's worship. + +. . . + +When we have adopted higher ideals; when success is +no longer a synonym for vain show; when the man of +millions who toils and wails for more is considered mad; +when we realize that all the world's wealth cannot equal +the splendor of the sunset sky 'neath which the poorest +trudge, the astral fire that flames at night's high noon +above the meanest hut; that only God's omnipotence can +recall one wasted hour, restore the bloom of youth, or bid +the loved and lost return to glad our desolate hearts with +the lambent light of eyes that haunt all our waking +dreams, the music of laughter that has become a wailing +cry in memory's desolate halls; when we cease chasing +lying rainbows in the empty realm of Make-Believe and +learn for a verity that the kendal green of the workman +may be more worthy of honor than the purple of the prince +--why then the world will have no further need of iconoclasts +to frankly rehearse its faults, and my words of censure +will be transformed into paeans of praise. + + "Sweet as the smile when fond lovers meet + And soft as their parting tear." + +We have "progressed" from the manly independence +and fierce patriotism of our forebears to a namby-pamby +foreign policy that compels our citizens abroad to seek +protection of the consuls of other countries from the +spirit that made our flag respected in every land and +honored on every sea, to the anserine cackle of "jingoism" +whenever an American manifests a love of country or +professes a national pride. What is "jingoism?" It is +a word coined by enemies of this country and used by +toad-eaters. It is a term which, under various titles, has +been applied to every American patriot since our gran'- +sires held the British lion up by the caudal appendage and +beat the sawdust out of the impudent brute--since they +appealed from a crack-brained king to the justice of +heaven and wrote the charter of our liberties with the +bayonet on the back of Cornwallis' buccaneers. Its synonym +was applied to Thomas Paine, the arch-angel of the +Revolution, whose pen of fire made independence +imperative--who through seven long years of blood and tears +fanned Liberty's flickering flames with his deathless faith +that the Omnipotent arm of God would uphold the banner +of the free. From the brain of that much-maligned and +long-suffering man Columbia sprang full-panoplied, like +Minerva from the brow of Olympian Jove. And what has +been his reward? In life he was bitterly belied by the +foes of freedom and the slaves of superstition; in death a +mighty wave of calumny rolls above his grave. Greater +men have lived and died and been forgotten, but a nobler +heart ne'er beat and broke--grander soul ne'er struggled +toward the light or bowed before the ever-living God. +When the colonists stood debating whether to bear their +present ills or fly to other they knew not of, he seized +the gage of battle and flung it full and fair in Britain's +haughty face. When defeat followed defeat, when the +new-born nation was bankrupt and its soldiers starving +in the field; when coward lips did from their color fly +and men brave as Roman tribunes wept tears of grim +despair, his voice rang out again and again like that of +some ancient prophet of Israel cheering on the fainting +legions of the Lord, and again, and again, and yet again +the ragged barefoot Continentals set their breasts against +the bayonet, until from the very ashes of defeat dear +Liberty arose Phoenix-like, a goddess in her beauty, a +titan in her strength. + +The term "jingoist;" or its equivalent, was applied to +Washington and Henry, to Jefferson and Jackson. It +was applied to James G. Blaine, the typical American of +his time--a man from beneath whose very toe-nails enough +intellect might be scraped to make an hundred Clevelands +or McKinleys. All were jingoes in their day and generation, +because all preferred the title of sovereign to that +of subject; because all believed that Columbia should be +mistress of her own fate, the architect of her own fortune, +instead of an appendage of England, or political orphan +under a European protectorate, because all believed that +she should protect her humblest citizen from wrong and +outrage wheresoever he may be, though it cost every dollar +of the nation's treasure and every drop of the nation's +blood--and if that be jingoism then I, too, am a jingo +from alpha to omega, from beginning to end. + +. . . + +Who are those who recalcitrate about jingoism? They +are people who have never forgiven Almighty God for +suffering them to be born American sovereigns instead +of British subjects. They are those whose ideal man is +some stupid, forked, radish "stuck o'er with titles, hung +'round with strings," and anxious to board with a wealthy +American wife to avoid honest work. They are the people +whose god is the dollar, their country the stock exchange, +and who suspect that a foreign policy with as much +backbone as a scared rabbit would knock some of the +wind and water out of their bogus "securities." It is +those who would sell their citizenship for a copper cent +and throw in their risen Lord as lagniappe, who are forever +prating of "jingoism" and pleading for peace at +any price. And these unclean harpies of greed and gall +have been too long permitted to dominate this government. +The result is that the greatest nation known to +human history--the sum and crown of things--is an +object of general insult. If it be rumored that we +contemplate protecting American citizens in Cuba, every +European government emits a growl--there's talk of +rebuking Uncle Sam's "presumption," of standing him in +a corner to cool. If it be suggested that we annex an +island--at the earnest request of all its inhabitants worth +the hanging--there more minatory caterwauling by the +European courts, while even the Mikado of Japan gets +his little Ebenezer up, and the Ahkound of Swat, the +Nizan of Nowhere and the grand gyasticutus of Jimple- +cute intimate that they may send a yaller-legged policeman +across the Pacific in a soap-box to pull the tail- +feathers out of the bird o' freedom if it doesn't crawl +humbly back upon its perch. If a fourth-class power +insults our flag we accept a flippant apology. If our +citizens are wrongfully imprisoned we wait until they are +starved, shot, or perish of blank despair in dungeons so +foul that a hog would die therein of a broken heart; then +humbly ask permission to investigate, report that they +are dead, and feel that we have discharged our duty. +Why? Because this nation is dominated by the dollar--is +in the hands of those who have no idea of honor unless +it will yield somewhat to eat, no use for patriotism unless +it can be made to pay. When we concluded to protect +our citizens from Weylerian savagery, instead of sending +a warship to Havana to read the riot act if need be in +villainous saltpetre we had our ambassador crawling about +the European courts humbly begging permission of the +powers, and as we got no permission we did no protecting. +When the church people elect me president of this +Republic I'll have ante-mortem investigations when +American citizens are held prisoners by foreign powers, and +those entitled to Old Glory's protection will get it in +one time and two motions if Uncle Sam has to shuck his +seer-sucker and fight all Europe to a finish. I shall +certainly ask no foreign prince, potentate or power for +permission to protect American citizens in the western world. +There'll be one plank in my platform as broad as a +boulevard and as long as a turnpike, and it will be to the +effect that the nation which wrongs an American citizen +must either apologize with its nose in the sand or reach +for its six-shooter. I'd rather see my country made a +desolation forever and a day, its flag torn from the heavens, +its name erased from the map of the world and its people +sleeping in heroes' sepulchres, than to see it a mark for +scorn, an object of contempt. + +In continually crying "Peace! Peace!" Uncle Sam is +chasing a rainbow that has a dynamite bomb under either +end. If history be philosophy teaching by example what +is the lesson we have to learn? In little more than a +century we've had four wars, and only by the skin of our +teeth have we escaped as many more, yet we not only +refuse to judge the future by the past, but ignore the +solemn admonitions of Washington and Jefferson and stand +naked before our enemies. We have no merchant marine +to develop these hardy sailors who once made our flag +the glory of the sea. We have a little navy, commanded +chiefly by political pets who couldn't sail a catboat into +New York harbor without getting aground or falling +overboard. We have an army, about the size of a comic +opera company, officered largely by society swells who +cannot even play good poker, are powerful only on dress +parade. We have a few militia companies, scattered from +Sunrise to Lake Chance, composed chiefly of boys and +commanded by home-made colonels, who couldn't hit a +flock o' barns with a howitzer loaded to scatter; who show +up at state encampments attired in gaudy uniforms that +would make Solomon ashamed, and armed with so-called +swords that wouldn't cut hot butter or perforate a rubber +boot. And that's our immediate fighting force. Uncle +Sam is a Philadelphia tenderfoot flourishing a toy pistol +at a Mexican fandango. When I succeed Mr. McKinley +I'll weed every dude and dancing master out of the army +and navy and put on guard old war dogs who can tell +the song of a ten-inch shell from the boom-de-aye of a +sham battle. I'll call the attention of my Hardshell +Baptist Congress to Washington's advice that while avoiding +overgrown military establishments, we should be careful +to keep this country on a respectable defensive posture, +and that if that advice is not heeded, I'll distribute the +last slice of federal pie among the female Prohibitionists +of Kansas. If this is to be a government of, for and by +a lot of nice old ladies, I'll see to it that none of my +official grannies grow a beard or wear their bronchos +clothespin fashion. And I'll warrant you that were this +nation ruled by sure-enough women instead of by a lot +of anaemic he-peons of the money-power, Columbia would +not be caught unprepared when "the spider's web woven +across the cannon's throat shakes its threaded tears in +the wind no more." + +. . . + +To the American patriot familiar with the rapid development +of this country it seems that the hour must assuredly +come when its lightest wish will be the world's law-- +when foreign potentates will pay homage to the sovereigns +of a new and greater Rome; but let us not be too +sanguine, for nations, like individuals, have their youth, +their lusty manhood and their decay; and despite the rapid +increase in men and money there are startling indications +that Uncle Sam has already passed the zenith of +his power. + + "First freedom, then glory, when that fails, + Wealth, vice, corruption--barbarism at last." + +Freedom we have won, and glory, yet both have failed-- +we have become, not the subjects of native Caesars, but +the serfs of foreign Shylocks. Wealth we now have, and +Oriental vice, and corruption that reaches even from the +senate chamber through every stratum of society. That +we are approaching barbarism may be inferred from the +magnificence of the plutocrat and the poverty of the +working people. The first reaps where he has not sown +and gathers where he has not strewn, while if the latter +protest against this grievous injustice they are branded +as noisy Bryanites or lampooned as lippy Populists. To +the superficial observer, a nation seems to be forging +forward long after it has really begun to retrograde. +There's an era of splendor, of Lucullus feasts, of Bradley- +Martin balls and Seeley dinners; there's grand parade of +soldiery and ships, miles of costly palaces, and wealth +poured out like water in foolish pageantry; there's +refinement of manners into affectation, dilettantism, +epicureanism--but 'tis "the gilded halo hovering 'round decay." + +The heart of that nation is dead, its soul hath departed, +and no antiseptic known to science will prevent putrefaction. +How is it with us? Forty thousand people own +one-half of the wealth between two oceans, while 250,000 +own more than 80 per cent. of all the values created by +the people. What is the result? Money is omnipotent. +Power is concentrated in the hands of a little coterie of +plutocrats--the people are sovereigns de jure and slaves +de facto. A mongrel Anglomaniaism is spreading among +our wealthy, like mange in a pack o' lobo wolves. Our +plutocrats have become ashamed of their country--probably +because it permits them to practice a brutal predacity +--and now cultivate foreign customs, ape foreign fashions, +and purchase as husbands for their daughters the upper- +servants of European potentates--people who earned their +titles of nobility by chronic boot-licking or sacrificing +their female relatives to the god of infamy. Year after +year these titled paupers--these shameless parodies on +God's masterpiece--paddle across the pond to barter their +tawdy dishonor for boodle, to sell their shame-crested +coronets to porcine-souled American parvenues, who if spawned +by slaves and born in hell would disgrace their parentage +and dishonor their country. Our toadies and title- +worshippers now have a society called the "Order of the +Crown," composed of puppies who fondly imagine that +they have within their royal hides a taint of the impure +blood that once coursed through the veins of corrupt and +barbarous kings. Perchance these dudelets and dudines +will yet discover that they are descended in a direct line +from King Adam the First and are heirs to the throne +of Eden. Our country is scarce half developed, yet it is +already rank with decadence and smells of decay. Our +literature is "yellow," our pulpit is jaundiced, our society +is rotten to the core and our politics shamefully corrupt +--yet people say there's no need of iconoclasts! Perhaps +there isn't. The iconoclasts used hammers, while those +who purify our social atmosphere and make this once +again a government of, for and by the people may have +to empty gatling guns and load them with carbolic acid. +National decay and racial retrogression may be inferred +from the fact that alleged respectable white women have +been married to black men by eastern ministers who insist +on solving the race problem for God and the South by +giving to the typical American of the future the complexion +of a new saddle and the perfume of a Republican powwow. +When these ethnological experts tire of life, they should-- +come to Texas. When white people lose their racial pride +they've nothing left that justifies the appointment of a +receiver. We hear a great deal about "race prejudice," +and I want to say right here that there's just enough of it +in my composition to inspire an abiding faith that the +white man should be, must be, will be, lord paramount of +this planet. I promise you that when you elect me to the +presidency, nothing that's black, yaller or tan gets an +office under my administration. I shall certain not follow +Mark Hanna's understudy and fill the departments at +Washington with big, fat, saucy blacks, to employ white +women as stenographers and white men as messenger boys. +There's lots of good in the Senegambian--lots of it; but +not in a thousand years will he be fit for American +sovereignty. Half the white people are not fit for it, else +instead of a wooden-headed hiccius doctius we'd have Billy +Bryan in the presidential chair today. Whenever I look +at McKinley, I think of Daniel Webster--not because Bill +resembles old Dan, but because he doesn't. I like the +negro in his place and his place is in the cotton patch, +instead of in politics, despite the opinion of those who have +studied him only through the rose-tinted lorgnette of +"Uncle Tom's Cabin." I also like the Anglomaniac in +his place, and that is the geographical center of old +England, with John Bull's trade-mark seared with a hot iron +on the western elevation of his architecture as he faces +the rising sun to lace his shoes. As between the nigger +and the Anglomaniac, I much prefer the former. The +full-blooded nigger is a fool positive, but the Anglomaniac +is an ass superlative. The first is faithful to those +who feed him; the latter is a sneaking enemy to the +country that has conferred upon him every benefit. + +Despite the optimistic cackle anent the march of science, +industrial progress, and all that sort o' thing, it appears +to be the general consensus of opinion that there's something +radically wrong. There's no lack of remedies-- +the political drug store is full of panaceas, each with the +trade-mark of some peculiar school of therapeutics blown +in the bottle. Strange that all these catholicons for +earthly ills propose to inaugurate the millennium by +improving the pecuniary condition of the people--as though +the want of money in this or the other pocket were the +only evil. Certainly a better distribution of wealth were +desirable, but a general dissemination of God's grace were +far preferable. Given that, all worthy reforms will +follow; without it we will continue to chase foolish +rainbows to our fall, Dives becoming more insolent, Lazarus +left more and more to the care of the dogs. I do not +mean that by acquiring a case of the camp-meeting jerks +we will solve the riddle which the Sphinx of Time is +propounding to this republic--that we will find the solution +of all life's problems in the amen-corner. Not exactly. +The average church is about the last place to which we +need look for relief. It's too often a lying rainbow painted +on the dark mist of ignorance by the devil's own artist. +It promises more and performs less than a Republican +candidate for Congress. I've noticed that shouting +hosannahs has little tendency to make one more truthful +--that when a man professes himself the chief of sinners, +he may feel obligated to substantiate his statement. I've +never known a man to borrow any money of the bank +on the unctuosity of his amen, but I have known people +who could double-discount Satan himself at dodging an +honest debt, to weep real water because I declined to come +into their sectarian penfold and be measured for a suit of +angelic pin-feathers. There are many church people who +will slander you unmercifully for dissenting from their +religious dogma, then seize the first opportunity to stick +you with a plugged dime or steal your dog. There are +worshippers who do not consider in outward rites and +specious forms religion satisfied; but these never +accumulate vast fortunes. The path to heaven is too steep to +be scaled by a man weighted down with seven million +dollars. He may be long on hope and faith, but he's +short on charity, and without charity religion is as big +a fraud as McKinley's international bimetallism. Charity +is a word that is awfully misunderstood. If a man's +income be $5,000 a year and he gives half of it to the +less fortunate, he's a pretty decent fellow, but if he +reserves for himself half of a $100,000 income while people +are going hungry to bed, he's simply a brute. With a +world full of woe and want, what right has any professed +follower of Jesus to shove $50,000 a year down his jeans? +The true test of a man's charity is the sum which he +reserves for himself; hence when Jno. D. Rockefeller--my +good Baptist brother who's building collegiate monuments +to his own memory with other people's money--reserves +tens o' millions in excess of his needs and imagines himself +full to the muzzle with the grace of God, he's simply +chasing a rainbow that may land him in Malebolge with the +dull sudden plunk of a Republican campaign promise hitting +the tidal wave of prosperity. Imagine Jesus Christ +with John D.'s money--loaning it at 5 per cent. a month! +Why if he'd had half so much cash he'd never have been +crucified. Those who clamored for his death would have +run him for mayor of Jerusalem on the reform ticket +and tried to work him for his last dollar. + +. . . + +If all who call themselves Christians were Christlike, +then indeed might there be hope for humanity; but what is +there to inspire belief that the church will ever win the +world from a foolish quest of rainbows? What hope in +Talmage, with his nightmare visions and stertorous dreams, +his pilgrimings to Palestine and rummaging among the +mummified cats and has-been kings of ancient Egypt for +"Scriptural evidence?" What hope for a people so mentally +emasculate that they can patiently listen to his +jejune wind-jamming, can read and relish his irremediable +tommyrot? What hope in Sam Jones and other noisy +ignorami of that ilk, with their wild war on dancing and +the euchre deck, the drama and decollete? Be these the +strongholds of Abriman in his ceaseless war on Oromasdes? +Does the Prince of Darkness, who once did fill the wondering +cosmos with the clangor of celestial steel, now front +the hosts of Heaven armed with a euchre-deck? Is Tara +Boom-de-aye the battle-hymn and the theater hat the +blazing gonfalon of him who strove with Omnipotence for +universal empire? Does Lucifer expect to become lord +paramount of all the gleaming worlds that hang like +jewels pendant in heaven's imperial concave by persuading +some miserable son of Adam to work his toes on Sunday, +dance with the girls on Monday or play seven-up for the +cigars? O Jonesy, Jonesy! would to heaven that thou +and all thy brother blabsters and bubblyjocks would go +hang yourselves, for you know naught of the war that +rages ever like a sulphurous siroc in the human soul. Ye +are but insects that infest great Igdrasyl, the ash tree +that upholds the universe. One atheistical Stephen +Girard playing Good Samaritan in a plague-swept city +while the preachers hit the turnpike; one deistical Tom +Paine, braving the guillotine for the rights of man; one +Father Damien, freely laying down his life for the miserable +lepers of Molokai; one sweet-faced sister of charity +bravely battling with the reeking slums of a great city, +striving to drag souls from that seething maelstrom of +sin, were worth legions of those sanctified lollypops who +prate of sacrificing all for their Savior, yet never risk life +or gold in the service of their God. + +. . . + +"Work is worship," said the old monks who carried the +cross into the Western wilds despite all hardships, in +defiance of all dangers--men for whom life was no Momusmasque, +but a battle and a march, men who sacrificed all +for other's sake, accepting without a sigh disease and +death as worldly reward. Those monks were real men, +and real men are ever the world's heroes and its hope. +The soul of a real man is never hidden behind the cowardly +superficies of policy or expediency--his heart is an open +book which he who runs may read. Deceive he cannot, for +the lie blooms only on the lips of cowards. Public opinion +he may treat with kingly contempt, but self-respect is +dearer to him than life, though dowered with a monarch's +scepter and all the wealth of Ormus and of Ind. There's +something in the words of a woman, spoken during the civil +war, which indicates that despite all artificiality and folly, +beneath the cheap gilding and showy lacquer of life, the +heart of the race still beats steady and strong; that above +the infinitude of goose-speech and the trumpeting of tin- +horns on the housetops may still be heard "the ever-pealing +tones of old Eternity." From out the mad hell of the +fight a wounded hero was borne to the hospital. Neither +pain nor approaching death could break the courage of +that heart of oak, but a prurient little preacher, one of +those busy smooth-bore bigots whose mission seems to be +to cast a shadow on the very sun, convinced the stricken +man that he was an awful sinner, whereupon he began +crying out that he was doomed to be damned. The nurse, +a muscular woman who believed with the old monks that +"work is worship," took the parson by the pendulous +8 x 10 ear, led him aside and sweetly said: "Mr. Goody +Two-Shoes, if I catch you in this ward again I'll +throw you out of the window." The brimstone +peddler felt that he had an urgent "call" to other fields. +He stood not upon the order of his going, but hit the dim +and shadowy distance like Nancy Hanks. He couldn't +even wait to pray for his persecutor or take up a collection. +In vain the nurse strove to soothe her patient by +telling him that the man who gave his life for his native +land cannot miss heaven's mercy--he but wailed the louder +that he was lost. "You came to me a hero," she cried, +"and you shall not leave me a coward. If you must go +to hell, go like a man." If Romans nursed by a she-wolf +became demigods, what might not Americans be sprung +from the loins of such a lioness! Milton has almost made +Satan respectable by endowing him with an infernal heroism, +by making him altogether and irremediably bad, +instead of a moral mugwump--by giving him a heart for +any fate instead of picturing him as willing to wound +and yet afraid to strike. + +. . . + +By God's grace, I mean not the kind you catch at camp- +meetings with sand-fleas, wood-ticks and other gifts of the +Holy Ghost; but rather an end everlasting to brummagem +and make-believe, a return to the Ark of the Covenant, +a recognition of that fact that the soul is not the stomach +--that a man owes debts to his fellows which cannot be +cast up at the end of the month and discharged with a +given number of dollars. Man was not made for himself +alone, but all were made for each and each for all. The +doctrine which now prevails of "every man for himself," +is the dogma of the devil. It means universal war, shameful +wrong and brutal outrage--the strong become intolerable +tyrants, the weak go to the wall. It transforms +this beautiful world into a basket of adders, each biting, +hissing, striving to get its foolish head above its fellows. +If the Christian religion contained naught else of worth, +its doctrine of self-sacrifice should earn for it the respect +of every Atheist in the universe. Through the fogs of +ignorance and the clouds of superstition that enshrouded +the Biblical ages that touch of the divine shines like a +pilot star. + +. . . + +That Persian poet who prated of "the sorry scheme of +things" would deserve pity were he not beneath contempt. +He imagined that there was a screw loose in the universe +because his quest of pleasure slipped its trolley-pole and +could not make the bubble Joy to dance in Folly's cup. + +Millions make continual moan that they are not happy +when they ought to be thankful that they are not hanged. +They shake their puny hands at heaven because not provided +with a terrestrial Paradise, when they ought to be +giving thanks that I'm not the party who holds the sea in +the hollow of his hand. I'd make good Baptists of the +whole caboodle--would hold them under water long enough +to soak out the original sin. A man complains because +Fortune doesn't empty her cornucopia into the pockets of +his pantalettes while he whittles a pine box and talks +municipal politics instead of humping himself behind an +enterprising mule in the cotton-patch. If his sweetheart +jilts him, he's in despair, and if she marries him he wishes +he were dead. He has the mulligrubs because he cannot +plant himself on a Congressional cushion, or because he +finds his wife awake and nursing a curtain lecture to keep +it warm when he falls through the front fence at 5 o'clock +in the morning. It seems never to have occurred to these +Werterian wailers that the happiest existence is that of +the lower animals--that the human being of fine brain and +keen sensibilities cannot possibly be content. It is this +very unrest, this heart-hunger that drives a man on to +noble deeds--that lifts him out of the gutter where wallow +the dull, dumb beasts and places him among the gods. Of +suffering and sorrow were born all life's beauty. The kiss +of Pyramus and Thisbe is an ecstasy of pain. The hope +of immortality sprang from breaking hearts. Nations rise +through a mist of tears. Every great life-work is an +agony. Behind every song there lurks a sigh. There's +an element of sadness in humor itself. The Virgin Mother +is known as Our Lady of Pain. The cult of Christ is +hallowed by the blood of self-sacrifice and known as the +Religion of Sorrow. The first breath of life and the last +gasp are drawn in suffering; and between the cradle and +the grave there lies a monster-haunted Sahara. Yet men +choose the ignis-fatuus called Happiness, and mourn that +they cannot cover it with a No. 6 hat. They should pray +the gods to transform them into contented goats and turn +them out to grass. People who cannot find happiness here +begin to look for it in heaven. Eternal beatitude is +another ridiculous rainbow. Nirvana is nonsense. If there +be a life beyond the grave, it means continued endeavor, +and there can be no endeavor unless there's dissatisfaction. +The creature cannot rise superior to its creator--and the +universe is the result of God's unrest. Had he been +perfectly content he would not have made me. + +Carlyle--not Mugwump Carlisle of Kentucky, but Thos. +Carlyle of Great Britain-the lord of modern literature-- +says the hell most dreaded by the English is the hell of not +making money. We have imported this English Gehenna, +duty free, despite Mr. Dingley, and now the man who +doesn't succeed in accumulating dollars is socially damned. +How many of this generation can understand the remark +of Agassiz that he had no time to make money?--can +realize that such occupation is not the sole end of man?-- +that time expended in the accumulation of wealth beyond +the satisfaction of simple wants is worse than wasted? +It is so because from our numbered days we have stolen +years that should have been devoted to soul-development, +filled with the sweets of knowledge; hallowed by the +perfume of love, made gracious by noble deeds--because we +have blasted life's fair fruitage with the primeval eldest +curse. Omar strikes one true chord when he doth sing: + + "A book of verses, underneath the bough, + A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou + Singing beside me in the wilderness-- + O wilderness were Paradise enow!" + +. . . + +Diogenes was content with a tub while Alexander sat him +down by the ever-moaning sea and wept his red bandanna +full of brine because he didn't know that the empire of +Czar Reed yet remained unconquered. And now both +Diogenes and Alexander have "gone glimmering through +the dream of things that were," and little it matters to +them or to us whether they fed on honey of Hymettus and +wine of Falernus or ate boarding house hash off a pewter +plate and guzzled Prohibition busthead out of a gourd. +The cynic who housed in a tub and clothed himself with +a second-hand carpet is as rich to-day as he that reveled +in the spoil of Persia's conquered king and kicked the +bucket while enjoying a case of katzenjammer. King and +cynic, tub and palace, lantern and scepter--all have +perished; and he that butchered thousands to glut his +greed for what fools call glory, shines less brightly through +the murky shadows of the century than he that made a +nobler conquest of himself. The haughty empires one did +rear have long since crumbled into dust; the wild goat +browses in their deserted capitals, the lizard sleeps upon +their broken thrones, and the owl hoots from their forgotten +altars and ruined fanes; but the philosophy of the +other lives on from age to age, to point the folly of such +mad rainbow-chasing as that of him who thought to make +the world his monument. + +. . . + +Know ye not that the poorest beggar is an earth- +passenger also, that thy brother, traveling his millions of +miles per day?--where, think you? Among the stars. +For him as for thee does Aurora gild the morning and +Apollo hang the evening sky with banners of burnished +gold; for him as for thee doth Selene draw the limpid +waters behind her silver car around the rolling world +and Bootes lead his hunting dogs afield in their leash of +celestial fire. Ten centuries hence the dust of the +millionaire will have mingled with that of the mendicant, both +long forgotten of men; ten centuries hence the descendants +of those now peddling hot wiener-wurst may proudly wear +the purple, while the posterity of present monarchs creep +through life as paupers. A thousand years are but as one +tick of the mighty horologe of time--and the allotted life +of man but three score years and ten! And this brief +period we expend, not in living, but in providing the means +of life; not as creation's lords, but as slaves to our own +avarice, the most pitiful passion that ever cursed mankind. +If there be a God, be thou his messenger unto men; +if there be no God, then have thy unfortunate fellows the +more need of thee. Wait not until a man is driven to +crime by the iron law of necessity, a woman to dishonor, a +child to beggary, then organize some fake relief society for +thine own glory, but put forth a helping hand in time to +avert the sin and shame. The most pitiful failure in all +God's universe is the man who succeeds only in making +money. A thieving fox will grow fat by predacity while +an honest dog starves in the path of duty. And we have +too many sleek Reynards prowling 'round the sheep-pens +and dove-cotes of this people, too few faithful Gelerts +doing stubborn battle with predaceous beasts. + +There's one class of people whom we cannot brand as +arrant knaves and put in the pillory, yet who are a curse +to any country. These are your Laodiceans in religion +and politics, your luke-warms, your namby-pamby milk- +and-cider set who are neither cold or hot. These are your +eminently proper people, your stereotyped respectables. +They accept the Gospel as true, not that they can comprehend +it, but rather because they lack sufficient mental +vigor to deny it. They join the church and align themselves +with that political party to which the local nabobs +belong. "What will people say?" is to them the all- +important problem. They have followed some old bell +weather or lead-gander into the wire-grass pasture of +Respectabilia. They observe all the proprieties--at least +in outward appearance. These are the animals whose vis +inertia perpetuates all the abuses of wealth and power-- +whatsoever has the approval of two or more generations +of infamous rascals is so eminently respectable. These +are the people who are so profoundly shocked by the +alleged slang of Hugo and vulgarities of Goethe, while +compelling their daughters to read the Canticles. They +have a conniption fit and fall in it because some shapely +danseuse kicks up her rhythmic heels on the vaudeville +stage, then organize Trilbys auctions, kissing bees and +garter raffles for the glory of God. Their ideal is +expediency and their moral law the Eleventh Commandment-- +Don't get caught. These are the people who stone the +prophets of progress. They are to the social organism +what a pound of putty would be to the stomach of a +dyspeptic. They are a mill-stone slung about the neck of +the giant of civilization. "What will people say?" +Well, if you tell them a new truth, they will say that you +are a demagogue or a blasphemer, an anarchist or a +Populist; but when your new truth has been transformed by +Time's great alembic into an old falsehood, they will have +absorbed it--it will have become respectable--and you +couldn't purge it from their soggy brain with Theodorus' +Auticyrian hellebore. They said of Galileo, "Imprison +him!" because he denied the old falsehood that the world +is flat; of Servetus, "Burn him!" because he dissented +from the ipse dixit of another heretic; of Socrates, +"Poison him!" because he laughed at the too amorous +gods of Greece; of Robert Emmett, "Hang him!" because +he wasn't a Cleveland-Bayard Anglomaniac; and +they said of Jesus Christ, "Crucify him!" because he +intimated the fashionable preachers of his time were a set +of splenetic-hearted hypocrites. That's what people say; +but occasionally there's one to answer that 'tis not in the +power of all Xerxes' hosts to bend one thought of his +proud heart--"they may destroy the case of Anaxarchus, +himself they cannot reach." It is not what foolish sound +is shaped by a deal of stinking breath and blown adown +the wind to be forgotten like the bray of an asthmatic +burro, to perish like the snows of yesteryear, that should +be our concern--not what the idle gabble of Mrs. Grundy +proclaims us, but what we actually are. Public opinion +is an ever-shifting rainbow. The "heretics" of one age +are the saints of the next: the "cranks" of our own time +may be the philosophers of the future; the despised rebels +of a century ago are the men whose graves we bedeck with +our garlands. Soon or late, those who court the many- +headed monster, who "flatter its rank breath and bow +to its idolatries a patient knee," are trampled beneath its +iron heel; but those who take duty for guiding star and +are strong enough to withstand the gibes of malice and the +jeers of ignorance will find that the years are seldom +unjust. It has been well said that one eternity waited for +us to be born, that another waits to see what we will do +now that we are here. Do what thou canst and do it +with all thy might, remembering that every fice that doth +bark at thee this day, every goose that stretches forth its +rubber neck to express its disapproval, will be dead in hell +a hundred years hence, its foolish yawp gone silent +forevermore, but that thy honest act affects in greater or less +degree all God's universe. + +I am neither a Jeremiah with a lung full o' lamentations, +nor a Jonah rushing round like a middle of the roader +and proclaiming, "Yet forty days and the woods will +be on fire." I do not believe that we can pick ourselves +up by our own embroidered boot-straps and hop blithely +astride a millennium built to order by McKinley, Bryan, +or any other man; but I do believe that the human race +is slowly but surely working the subsoil out of its system, +is becoming ever less the beast and more the god. Nations +grown corrupt with wealth and age may fall, but others +strong in youth and innocence will arise. Old faiths may +be forgotten, but from other and purer altars will ascend +the smoke of sacrifice. Freedom may be wounded grievously +in her very temple by Anglomaniacs who needs must +have a royal master, yet her banner, torn but flying, will +stream triumphant over the grave of tyranny. The black +night of barbarous ignorance may often engulf the world, +but "Thou, Eternal Providence, wilt cause the day to +dawn." The Star of Bethlehem cannot go down in everlasting +darkness--the bow of promise gleams softly luminous +behind the thunderbolt. I care not whether the +Noahian tale be true that never again will the shifting +axis of the earth pour the sea upon the plain--the rainbow +is nature's emblem of peace, her cestus of love, and in its +splendor I read a promise that never again will this fair +earth of ours be swept with sword and fire, deluged with +blood and tears. Not to the past, but to the future, do +I look for the Saturnian age, when the demons of need and +greed will be exorcised, when love will be the universal +law, the fatherhood of God the only faith. Such, my +friends, is the rainbow to which I have turned my feet. +It lies afar, across dismal swamps o'er whose icy summits +only the condor's shadow sweeps--across arctic vast and +desert isles beyond tempestuous ocean rank with dead men's +bones and the rotting hulls of ships. I shall not attain +it, nor shall you; but he that strives, though vanquished, +still is victor. A dreamer, say you? Ah yes, but all life is +but a dream, mystic, wonderful, and we know not when we +sleep nor when we wake. I love to dream so when the +storm beats upon the great oaks, hoary with their hundred +years, and they put forth their gnarled arms and grapple +with the blast, when the lightning cleaves the inky sky +with forked flame and the earth rocks neath the thunder's +angry roar. When the dark clouds roll muttering unto +the East and the evening sun hangs every leaf and twig +and blade of grass with jewels brighter than e'er gleamed +in Golconda's mines; when the mock-birds renew their +melody and every flower seems drunken with its own incense, +I look upon the irisate glory that seems to belt the +world with beauty and my heart beats high with hope that +in years to be the storm-clouds that o'ershadow the souls +of men will recede also--that time shall come when the +human race will be one universal brotherhood, containing +neither a millionaire nor a mendicant, neither a master +nor a slave. + + + +INDEX TO THE TWELVE VOLUMES OF BRANN THE ICONOCLAST + +All titles of articles appear in this index in capitals--except +"Salmagundi," "Editorial Etchings," "Political Pot-pourri," +and a few other stock titles which were used in the ICONOCLAST as +general headings for groups of untitled short articles. The more +important of these untitled brief articles are indexed under the +theme or subject. + +The index entries appearing in small or lower case type comprise +a subject index of the leading topics discussed by Brann. As the +same subject may be variously phrased the student of Brann is +advised to glance through the index to familiarize himself with +the terminology used. Articles relating to individuals are not +indexed under the proper names unless the individuals are +generally known to the reading public. Articles contributed to +the ICONOCLAST by others than Brann are indexed under title and +name of contributor but not by theme or subject. + + +ADAM AND EVE, I, 226 +ADDITIONAL OBSERVATIONS IX, 206 +ADVERTISING ADVENTURES III, 210 +AGE OF CONSENT, THE, II, 30 +AGE OF POISON, THE, XI, 202 +AIR-JAMMING JINGOES, THE, III, 300 +Allegorical Tales, I, 32, 1. 9, 203 +AMATEUR EDITOR, THE, X, 179 +AMBASSADOR BAYARD, IX, 37 +AMELIE'S NEW MARRIAGE, IX, 209 +AMERICAN DRUMMER, THE, II, 188 +AMERICAN MIDDLEMAN, THE, VII, 122 +AMERICAN PRESS, THE, VII, 52 +AMERICAN SOVEREIGN, THE, V, 69 +Anarchy, VI, 115; IX, 254; X, 11 +ANGLO-AMERICAN INFAMY, VIII, 126 +Anglomaniacs (see also England), + III 73, IV, 37, 260, V, 6, VI + 254; VII, 226, VIII, 30, 126, + 281; IX, 153 +ANTHONY THE ABOMINABLE, XI, 235 +ANTI-DANCING DERVISH, AN, IX, 183 +ANTONIA TEIXEIRA, II, 286 +A.P.A. (see also Catholicism), + 11, 111, 187, 215; III, 12, 229; + IV, 41, 135, 264, 311; V, 242, + 299, 312, VI, 4, 159, 232, VII + 27, 87, 223, 295, VIII, 161 +A.P.A. IDIOCY, THE, III, 12 +APOLOGY FOR PATRIOTISM, AN, V, 201 +"APOSTLE" AS POLYGAMIST, THE, III, 198 +APOSTLE'S BIOGRAPHY, THE, II, 103 + +APOSTLE IN PERDITION, THE, IV, 97 +APOSTLE vs. PAGAN, I, 37 +APOSTLE'S RAG BABY THE, VI 154 +ARE SECOND MARRIAGES LAWFUL? VI, 284 +ARMENIAN MUDDLE, THE, III, 271 +ARE WOMEN DEVOID OF DESIRE? I, 135 +Army, Social Snobbery in, VII, 1 +ASSIGNATS vs. INSANITY, VII, 42 +Atheism (see also Faith; Immortality), + I, 37; III, 207; IV, 53; + V, 54; VI, 288; IX, 296, 308; + XI, 95. +ATHEISM AND ORTHODOXY +ATHEISTS AND IGNORANCE, XI, 282 +AT THE EXPO., III, 148 +ATKINSON'S FINANCIAL FOLLY, III, 200 +AUTHOR OF EPISCOPALIANISM, THE, X, 115 +BACHELORS vs. BENEDICTS, II, 134 +BAILEY AND THE DAL-GAL, VI, 52 +BAPTIST BELLIGERENCY, IV, 135 +BAPTIST BOYCOTT, A, III, 144 +BARDWELL SLOTE OF COHOSH, THE HON., X, 155 +BARONS vs. BARONS, IX, 250 +BAYLOR IN BAD BUSINESS, III, 29 +BAYLOR'S REJOINDER, III. 150 +BEANS AND BLOOD, III, 240 +BEAUTEOUS REBECCA, THE, II, 12 +BEAUTY AND DEATH, VII, 205 + +Beauty Contest, VII, 120 VIII, 307 +BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, VI, 312 +BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, IV, 93 +BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, XII, 193 +BEECHER AND THE BIBLE, IV, 147 +Beecher, Henry Ward, IV, 147; VII, 206 +BEHIND THE SCENES IN ST. LOUIS, X, 205 +BEHIND THE SMOKESTACK, VI, 60 +Bible Stories Revised, I, 1, 226, + 285; II, 94, 277; VI, 193; VII, 243 +Bible, Criticism of, I, 285; IV, + 147; VII, 9, 115, 195; VIII, 201 +BIBLICAL BEAR STORY, A, II, 277 +Bicycle Craze, I, 252; III, 146; + IV, 258, V 11, 218; VI, 161; + VII, 79 +BICYCLING AND BAWDRY, III, 146 +BIGOTED ARCHBISHOP, A, X, 270 +BIKE BACILLUS, THE, I, 252 +BILLY HOWELL'S BAD BREAK, VIII, 299 +Bishop, Julia Truitt, Articles by, + VII, 143, 309; VIII, 93; X, + 222; XI 25, 159. 193 +BISMARCK, II. 50 +Blasphemy, V, 134; VI, 122 +BLUE AND GRAY, XII, 143 +BOLTING POPULIST BOSSES, VII 19 +BONDS vs. BUNCOMBE. IV, 56 +BOOZE AND BABY SHOES. V, 39 +BRACE OF BELLYACHERS, A, II, 159 +BRACE OF MISSOURI BEAUTS, A, V, 109 +BRADLEY-MARTIN BALMASQUE, I, 81 +BRANN AND BAYLOR, XII, 29 +Brann, Life of, 11, 103; VII, 25; + X, 143; XII, pages 1 to 114 +BRANN IS NO MORE, XII, 74 +BRANN OF THE ICONOCLAST, XII, 77 +BRANN THE FOOL, XII, 106 +BRANN, WILLIAM COWPER, XII, 109 +BRANN'S BRAVE BATTLE, XII, 73 +Brann's Death, XII, 11 +Brann's Death (and events leading + thereto; see also Teixeira Case) +Brann's Lectures, XII, pages 115 to :2013 +BRANN'S REPLY TO SLATTERY, XII, 204 +BRANN vs. BAYLOR, X, 77 +BRANNAN vs. SEASHOLES, VI, 32 +BRASS COLLAR DEMOCRAT, A, VI, 57 +BRAVE AND BRAINY BRANN, XII, 76 +BRAZEN HUMBUG, A, V, 275 +BRER. CRANFILL'S LITTLE BLUFF, VIII, 250 +BRER. JONES ABILIN, IV, 297 +BRITISH vs. BOERS, IV, 119 +BRO. EARLY'S BAZOO, IV, 242 +BROTHERLY REBUKE, A, II, 78 +BRYAN, D. D., VII, 39 +BRYAN PANIC PENDING, A, VI, +BRYAN. WILLIAM JENNINGS, + V 253, VI, 78, 85, 221, 308; + VII, 34, 111, 238; VIII, 47, 139 +BUCK NEGRO, THE, II, 15 +Business, Corruption in V 234; VII 218 +BUSINESS REVIVAL, THE, III, 58 +BUSINESS WOMAN THE, VII, 143 +BUZZARDS ON THE WING, III, 114 + +CALVINISTIC CALF, THE, IV, 309 +CAMPBELLITE FAMA CLAMOSA, A, IX, 268 +CANDIDATE FOR CASTRATION, A, IV, 307 +CARNIVAL OF CRIME. A, II, 99 +CARNIVAL OF CRIME, A, VI, 301 +CASH vs. COIN, II, 293 +CASTOR AND POLLUX, II, 125 +CAT, THE, II, 201 +Catholicism (see also A. P. A.), II, + 111; III, 190; V, 118, 163; VI, + 33- VII, 87, 295- VIII, 1, 181; + IX, 1, 173; X, 8, 195, 270; XII, 204 +CATHOLIC vs. PROTESTANT "CRANKS," V, 163 +Canfleld, H. S., Articles by, X, 149; XI, 139 +CHAPTER WRITTEN IN THE LIFE BLOOD, A, XII, 1 +CHARITY, I 16 +CHILDREN OF POVERTY, THE, XI, 25 +CHRIST COMES TO TEXAS, I, 70 +CHRISTIAN, THE, X, 222 +CHRISTIAN COURIER, THE, V, 41 +CHRISTIAN ENGLAND IN INDIA, I, 48 +Christian Science VII, 253 +Christmas, X, 274 +CHRISTMAS CRIMES, IV, 34 +Chrone, H. F., Articles by. XI, 266 +CHURCH OF ENGLAND, THE, IX, 1 +CHURCH AND STAGE, VII, 63 +Church (see Religion, Catholicism, Preachers, etc.) +CIVILIZATION. IV, 184; I, 129 + +Civil War, The, I, 116 V, 5, 201; + VII, 114, VIII, 159, 272, XII, 143 +Cleveland. Grover. II, 3 III, 21, + 257; IV, 56, 161; V, 138; VII, + 5; VIII 232: X 5 +CLEVELAND AS CATO, III, 143 +COINING BLOOD INTO BOODLE +COLCHIAN DAYS, II, 308 +Colonel, The (Pseudonym) Articles + by, X, 105- XI, 223, 240 +COMMISSION CRAZE, THE, IV, 137 +COMMON COURTESAN, THE, IV, 5 +CONCERNING HELL, III, 196 +Connolly. M. W., Articles by, VII, + 132, 283- VIII, 84- X, 185; XI, + 69, 272, 297 +Consent, age of, XI, 90 +CONSTRUCTION vs. DESTRUCTION, VIII, 1 +CONVICTION OF DURRANT, THE, III, 295 +CORBETT-FITZSIMMONS AFFAIR, III. 52 +CORBETT-FITZSIMMONS FIGHT, THE, III. 161 +CORONATION OF THE CZAR, I, 118 +CORRESPONDENT'S CURIOSITY, A, V, 46 +COSTLY KISS, A, IV, 217 +"COUNTESS" CASTELLANE, THE, IV, 1 +COURAGE OF WOMENKIND, THE, VIII, 170 +COURTESIES AND CORRUPTION, II. 260 +Courts, Criticism of, XI, 99; III, + 34, 295- V, 316- IX, 27; X, 257 +COUPLE OF HIGH-TONED KIDS, A, IX, 128 +COUPLE OF UNCLEAN COYOTES, A, X, 257 +CREDIT AND PRICES, IX, 237 +Crime, Suppression of, II 99, 113; + VI, 301; X, 31 +CRUSADE OF CALUMNY, A, VI, 78 +Cuban Question, VII, 232 +CUBAN STRUGGLE, THE, IV, 203 +CUCKOO CONFERENCE, THE, II, 247 +CUCKOOS AND COME-OUTERS, VIII, 84 +CUPID vs. CHRIST, XI, 174 +Currency (see also Free Silver) + II, 3, 59, 85, 109, 162 176, 243 + 247; III, 58, 114, 149 200; IV, + 56, 161; V, 187, 261; VI, 154, + 168 V 11, 42, VIII, 5. IX, 10.-,. + 237, X, 1; XI, 133 137, XII, 249 +CURRENCY AND COMMON SENSE, II, 162 +CURRENCY AND COMMON SENSE, II, 243 +CURRENCY AND COMMON SENSE, XI, 146 + +CURRENCY CRAZE, THE, V 261 +CURRENT COMMENT, V, 124 +CURSE OF KISSING THE, III, 68 +CYCLONES AND SANCTIFICATION, V, 148 + +Damien, Father, II, 76; III, 158 +DAMNABLE DECISION, A, II, 273 +Dancing, III. 1 IX, 183; XI, 52 +DANIEL WEBSTER'S PREDICTION, IV, 198 +DAVIS FOLLOWS BRANN, XII, 13 +DAVID AND BATH-SHEBA, VI, 193 +DEADLY PARALLEL. THE, V, 4 +DEAN HART OF DENVER, IX, 144 +DEATH OF BRANN, THE, IX, 94 +DEATH OF W. C. BRANN, XII, 64 +DEATH OF DOUGLASS. II. 118 +DEFENDER-VALKYRIE FIASCO, THE. III, 185 +DEITY IN DANGER, THE, V, 134 +DEMOCRACY DISINTEGRATING, III, 63 +DEMOCRATIC DEFEAT, THE, III, 257 +Depew, Chauncey, VIII, 222 +DESTRUCTIVE RUM DEMON, THE III, 186 +Devil, The II, 74; V, 43 +DISGRACE TO CIVILIZATION, A, V II, 140 +Divorce. III. 250; VII, 140 +DIXIE'S DALIA-LAMA, V, 138 +DOGMATISM, THE MOTHER OF DOUBT, I, 163 +DOLCE FAR NIENTE AND DOLLARS, X, 1 +DOWN IN DIXIE. IX, 166 +Dress (see Nudity) +DRUMMER'S NUMBER, II, 168 +DUTCH, DEITY, AND THE DEVIL, V, 256 + +ECONOMIC IDEA ORPHANED, AN, VIII, 286 +ECONOMICS (see Poverty; Finance; + Free Silver; Single Tax, etc.) +EDITOR'S ERROR, AN, II, 85 +Education, I. 234; III. 202, 275; + IV, 47, 310: VI, 140; IX, 153 +EGYPT vs. ARKANSAS, VI, 188 +England (see also Anglomaniacs) + I, 48; III, 73, 185, 300, 303, + IV, 119, 133, 1$15, 220; V, 95, + 142, 209; VI, 12, 123, 254; VIII + 30, 126, 200, 228, 273, 281; IX + 1, 101; X, 10, 12, 200; X, 114 +ENGLISH WOMAN'S IDEA, AN, V 6 +ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE, III, 275 +EPICTETUS AND REBECCA, IV, 3 +Episcopal Church, IV, 223; VII, + 112; VII, 30; IX, 1, 65, 144; + X, 115, 298 + +EPISCOPALIAN MISTAKE, AN, X, 238 +EUGENE FIELD, 11, 242 +Eunuch, The (see Philip and the Eunuch) +EVIDENCES OF MAN'S IMMORTALITY I, 257 +EVOLUTION OR REVOLUTION, I, 58 +Faith (see also Atheism; Immortality), + I, 104, 257; IL 1; V, 148 +FAITH AND FOLLY, II, 1 +Faith Healing, III, 268, VI, 9 186; IX, 50 +FAKE JOURNALISM, III, 105 +FARMING AS A PROFESSION, V, 76 +FATHER BRANNANS'S NEW DEPARTURE III, 190 +FATHER BRANNAN vs. WILLIAMSON, VII, 295 +FATHER DAMIEN'S SUCCESSOR III, 158 +FAVORITE FALSEHOODS, II, 181 +FAVORITE FALSEHOODS, VII, 35 +Feminism (see The New Woman; + Woman's Suffrage) +Finance (see Currency; Free Silver) +FINANCIAL FETICH, A, II, 3 +FINGAL'S DOG, II, 220 +FISTIC PHOBIA FOLLY, THE, IV, 155 +FOOLS AND REFORM, II, 176 +FOOLS AND REFORM XI, 110 +FOOTLIGHT FAVORITES X, 282 +"FOR WOMAN'S EYE," VIII, 98 +Foreign Missions, II, 77; III, 107 + 271, IV, 242, V, 29, 225, VI + 112, 170: VII. 26 +FOREIGN MISSION FAKE, V, 29 +France, XI, 91 +FRANK CONFESSION, A, V, 95 +FRANK CONFESSION, A IX 258 +FREE COINAGE OF INTERVIEWS, VI, 48 +Free Silver (see also Currency) + II, 58, 247, 293, IV. 247, V + 106, 228, 253, 261, 275; VI 43, + 60, 202, 227, 247 260; VII, 138; + VIII, 141, IX, 278; X, 101 +FREEDOM OF SPEECH, AS TO, VI, 232 +FRIED IN HIS OWN FAT, V, 192 +FRIEND OF THE FAMILY, A, IX, +FROM THE GODS TO THE GUTTER, VIII, 102 + +Gall, Brann's Lecture on, XII, 115 +GAMBLERS INSULT ALMIGHTY GOD, VIII, 265 +GARDEN OF THE GODS, THE, I, 184 +GARTERS AND AMEN GROANS, I, 173 +George, Henry (see Single Tax) +GEORGIE CLARK'S COMPOSITION, VI. 95 +Germany, VIII, 192 +GILLY WHO GABS, THE, IV, 33 +GINX'S BABY, X, 288 +Girard Stephen, VIII, 254 +GLORY OF THE NEW GARTER, X, 241 +GODEY'S MAGAZINE FOR MOKES, IX, 149 +GOING FORWARD BACKWARDS, IX, 224 +GOLD BRICK GAME, THE XI, 220 +GOLD, SILVER, AND GAB, IV, 247 +GOLDEN BOOK, A, XI, 12 +GONE MATHEMATICALLY MAD, IV, 40 +GOO-GOOS AND TAMMANY TIGER, THE, X, 149 + 137 V 11, 177; XI, 110 +Government Ownership, VIII, 208; IX, 85 +GOVERNMENTAL EDUCATION, IV, 310 +GOVERNMENTAL FIRE INSURANCE, IX, 301 +GRAMMAR SHARP, THE, III, 98 +Grant, U S.. VIII, 244 +GREAT "REFORM" JOURNAL, A, V, 140 +GRECIAN GAMES, THE, V, 56 +Greece, VIII, 188 +GREENWALL GRAFT THE IV, 129 +GROVER'S NEW GIRL, III, 21 +GYPSY GENIUS, A, X, 117 + +HANG THE LIBELERS, III, 199 +Hanna, Mark, VI, 162, 279 +Harrison, Benjamin, IV, 75 +HAS THE SALOONIST A SOUL? IV, 287 +Hawaii, Annexation of, IX, 52 +Heaven, II, 83, 22 IX, 67 +HEAVEN AND HELL, III, 65 +Hell, IV 97, IX, 76 +HELLAS AND THE IMPS OF HADES, VIII, 188 +HENRY GEORGE HOODOO, THE, IX, 133 +HER BEAUTIFUL EYES, II, 222 +HEROES OF HISTORY, THE, II, 123 +High Society I, 81, 118 231, 11 + 51 116; III, 142, 174; IV, 11 + 93, 130, 167 201, 269, 272; V + 38 109, 132, 145, 183, 192, 195 + 291; VI 2 111; VII 174 228, + 239, 251, 252 VIII, 51, 167, 225, + 277; IX, 128, 186, 264, 291, X + 21, 145; XI, 7, 187, 189 +Hogg, Governor II, 43 +HOLY BIBLE, THE, VII, 9 +HOMILY ON HELL, A, IX 76 +HONESTY vs LAW, II. 130 +HORP vs HARVEY, III, 55 +HOWELL'S NEW HORROR, V, 159 +Hubbard-Kernan, Will, Article by, XI, 235 +Hubbard, Elbelt, Article on Brann XII, 106 +HUMBUGS AND HUMBUGGERY, XII 151 +HUMOROUS STORIES AND ARTICLES, + I, 43 II, 12, 105, 181, + 201 III, 45; VI, 242; VII, 35 + to 42 +HUNTING FOR A HUSBAND, V, 3 +Huston, Ethelyn Leslie, Articles by, + VIII. 102: X, 133, 163, 282; XI + 44, 174, 306 +HYPNOTIC POWER OF HER, I, 146 + +ICONOCLAST'S BEAUTY CONTEST, VII, 120 +ICONOCLAST AND THE CLERGY, THE, V, 278 +ICONOCLAST TOLD TO LEAVE TOWN, THE, IX, 199 +IF OUR COUNTRY WERE CATHOLIC? V, 118 +Immortality! (see also Faith), I + 56, 257; II, 69; III, 196 +Income Tax, II, 147, 273 +INCOME TAX DECISION, II, 147 +India, I, 48 +INFERNAL FRAUD, AN, IV, 239 +infidelity (see Atheism) +Ingalls, John J., VIII 156, 240 +INGERSOLL, ROBERT GREEN + I, 37: II, 88, 174; IV, 53 222, + 275; V, 1, 18, 133, 136; VI 288; + IX, 54 +INGERSOLL'S COWARDICE, COLONEL, V, 136 +INGERSOLL'S TEXAS ITINERARY, IV, 275 +Initiative and Referendum, VIII, 62 +INSULT TO OMNIPOTENCE, AN, VII, 271 +Insurance (see Life Insurance) +INSURANCE AND SUCKERS, IX, 85 +Ireland, II, 206; VI, 33 +IS BRYAN A BOODLER? VI, 85 +IS CIVILIZATION A SHAM? IV, 184 +IS GOD AN INDIAN? V, 21 +IS IT A CRIME TO BE RICH? VII, 125 +IS IT A FAKE? III, 113 +IS SUICIDE A SIN? V, 24 +ISLAND CITY ANGEL, AN, V, 234 +ISLE OF CHANEPH, THE, VI, 107 +ISRAEL AS IT IS, II, 224 +ITALIAN HERO, AN, VIII, 168 +IT'S GONE AGLIMMERING, VIII, 274 + +Jackass Department, VII, 32; IX, 113 +Jefferson, Thomas, IV, 303 +JEFFERSONIAN DEMOCRACY, IV, 303 +JEKYLL ISLAND JACK RABBITS, THE, XI, 240 +JESUS AND JUDAISM. IX, 962 +JEW-BAITER ABROAD, THE, IV, 21 +Jews, The, II. 224; IV, 210; IV + 264, IX, 188, 260 +JINGOES AND JABBERWOCKS, VII, 70 +JINGOES AND JOHN BULL, III, 73 +Jingoism (see Preparedness) +JOHN BULL'S BIG BLOW-OUT, VIII, 281 +JOHN BULL'S BLUFF IV, 133 +JOHN BULL'S CHEAP BLUSTER, IV, 195 +JOHN BULL'S CHRONIC BELLY-ACHE, XI, 114 +JONAH'S GOURD, II, 94 +Jones, Sam, II, 174; X, 278 +Journalism (Criticism of) I, 231 + 250; 11, 39, 1.,9; 111, 21, 56 + 105, 132 210; IV, 214, 255, V + 16 62, 109; VI, 48, 165; VII + 52 118, 190 315 VIII, 75, 143 + 156, 235; IX, 101; X, 179; XI, + 40, 95, 96 + "JOYS OF THE JAG," VI, 305 +JUDGE LYNCH AND THE LAW +Junius (Pseudonym), Articles by + X, 155; XI, 210 +JUNIUS LETTERS THE II, 218 +JURY SYSTEM, THE, III, 34 + +Kaiser, The, VII, 227 +KANSAS CITY ARISTOCRAT, A, X, 21 +KANSAS CURIOSITY, A, V, 100 +Kansas, the Home of Cranks, VIII, 145 +KANSAS TRINITY, V, 239 +KENTUCKY'S DEGENERACY, XI, 37 +KILLING OF CANOVAS IX, 254 +"KING CHARLES, THE MARTYR," VIII, 47 + 22, 184, XI, 164 +"KREUTZER SONATA," THE, II, 211 +Kyut, Iseult, Article by, X, 205 + +Labor (see also Poverty; Revolution + Threatened), I, 58 VI, 220 + VIII, 181; IX, 118, 303; X, 18 + 247; XI, 92 +Labor, political coercion of, VI, 60 + VII, 109, 185 +Labor Unions VII 945 +Ladies, Brann's lecture to, XII, 193 +LADONIA'S AMAZONIAN GUARD, +LADY AND THE TIGER, THE, XI, 306 +LADY AS LORD, THE, III, 195 +LAIR OF THE MINOTAUR, IN THE, XI, 255 +LAST LESSON, THE, XII, 85 +LAST OF OUR LIBERTIES, THE, IX, 304 +LATE TRAGEDY, THE, XII, 41 +LATEST TRAGEDY, THE, XII, 26 +LAW OF LOVED, THE, XI, 58 +Lawyers (see Courts) +LECTURE TO YOUNG LADIES, A, VII. 103 +LEGISLATIVE INSANITY, XI, 261 +LEGISLATIVE LIMNINGS, VII, 300 +LES ENFANTS TERRIBLES, VI, 260 +Leslie, Maud M., Article by, XI, 129 +LIFE AND DEATH I, 179 +Life Insurance, VIII, 208; IX, 85; X, 264 +LIGHTS AND SHADOWS, II, 69 +LIFE INSURANCE INIQUITY, THE, VIII, 208 +Literary Criticisms, I, 107, 149; II, + 28, 211, 218, 222, 239, 242; III, + 98 180; IV 139 210: V, 13, + 20: VI, 266; VII, 254; VIII, + 158, 207, 224, 299; IX, 173; X, + 28; XI, 1 +LITERARY LEPER, A, II, 313 +LITERARY RARA AVIS, A, II, 239 +LIVE JACKASS, A, vs. DEAD +LION OPTION AND INFAMY, IV 25 +LOCAL OPTION LUNACY, THE, XII, 225 +LOCOMOTIVE ENGINEER, THE, II, 141 +Lone Star, The, XII, 246 +LONG FELT WANT, A, IV, 213 +LOOKING BACKWARD, I, 129 +LOST TRIAD, THE, VI, 288 +Love (see also Sex), I, 32, 101, + 135, 146, 157; II, 37, 307; III, + 68, 254; IV, 3, 209, 217; V, 36; + VIII, 196; X, 249 +LOVE AS AN INTOXICANT? X, 249 +LOVE LETTERS, V, 36 +LUNATIC AT LARGE, A, V, 106 +Luther, Martin, IX. 173 +Lying (see Truth) +Lynch Law (see Negro Problem) +MACHIAVELLI, X, 168 +MAID'S MISTAKE, A, II, 105 +MAJOR MOSE HARRIS, VII, 38 +MANIMON'S HIGH MUCK-A-MUCK, V, 93 +MAN IN THE IRON MASK, THE, VIII, 244 +MAN IN THE MOON, THE, III, 121 +MANKIND'S MOCK MODESTY, IV, 84 +MAN'S GUST FOR GORE, X, 31 +MAN'S IMMORTALITY, I, 56 +MARLBOROUGH-VANDERBILT MARRIAGE, III, 174 +Marriage (see also Love; Divorce; + Sex), II, 134; III, 198; VI, 284; + X, 270 +MARRIAGE AND MISERY, III, 250 +MARRIAGE AND MISERY, X, 133 +MARTYR TO FREE SPEECH, A, XII, 78 +MAYBRICK MOVEMENT, THE, V, 142 +MAYOR CAMPBELL'S MENDACITY, VI, 247 +M'COON-LOGAN CONTROVERSY, THE VIII, 277 +McKINLEY AID SOCIETY, THE, VI, 177 +McKINLEY AND THE APES, V, 312 +McKinley, William, IV, 279; V + 102, 211, 270, 312; VI, 78 +MEANEST MAN IN AMERICA, THE, VIII, 254 +MEMORIAL TO W. C. BRANN, A, XII, 61 +MESSAGE TO MARY, A. IV, 151 +MEXICAN ANNEXATION, III, 297 +Mexico, II, 41; III, 297 +Middleman, The, VII, 122 +MIDDLE-OF-THE-MUCKERS, IX, 178 +"MINISTERIAL SPORTS," IV, 89 +Ministers (see Preachers) +Missions (see Foreign Missions) +MONDE AND DEMI-MONDE, X, 163 +MODERN MICAWBER, A, IX, 173 +MODERN SIMON MAGUS, A, VI, 186 +MODERN SPHINX, THE, VII, 157 +MODERN THAUMATURGIS, A, VIII, 55 +MODERN HE-MAIDEN, A, V, 316 +Modesty (see Nudity; Love; Sexual Morality) +Monroe Doctrine, I, 23; II, 137 + III, 236, 303 IX, 45 +MONROE DOCTRINE, THE, II, 137 +MORAL STATUS OF TEXAS, V, 91 +MORALITY vs. RELIGION, III, 290 +MORMONS OF MEXICO, THE, IV, 15 +Morris, John A., Articles by, X, + 241; XI, 202, 261 +MOUTH OF HELL, THE, VI, 244 + +NATIONAL POEM, A, II, 28 +NATIONAL POEM, A III, 180 +Negro Problem, II, 15, 118, III, + 240; IV, 307; V, 3; VI, 55; + VII, 5, 113, 180, 182 216 305; + IX, 27, 38, 149, 164 209 298, + X, 13, 279; XI, 54 +NELL GWYN, XI, 98 +NEW MESSIAH, THE. III, 268 +NEW POET LAUREATE, THE, IV, 139 +NEW SASSIETY SHEET A, V, 38 +NEW SOUTH, THE, I, 161 +NEW WOMAN, THE, III, 134 +New Woman The, I, 252; III, 195 + V, 62, 100, 206; VI, 20; VII, 84; + VIII, 136 +NEW YORK'S NIGHT LIFE XI, 152 +NEW YORK SAWCIETY SHEET, A, VIII, 167 +Nobility (see Royalty; High Society) +NO CROSS-EYED CLERGYMEN, II, 186 +NO LIMIT TO "LALLYGAGGING," III, 254 +NUDE ART AT CHICAGO, I, 201 +Nudity, 1, 201; IV, 84; VII, 103; IX, 48 + +OBSCENE CONVERSATION, VII, 60 +OBSCENE RELIGIOUS RITES, VII, 195 +Obscenity, I, 173; II, 78, 87, 215, + 313; IV, 255; VI, 234; VII, 60; + VII. 195 +OBSEQUIES, THE, XII, 19 +OLD GLORY, XII, 239 +OLD MAID'S AUCTION, AN, V, 286 +OLGA NETHERSOLE'S OSCULATION, IV, 117 +OPTIMISM vs. PESSIMISM, I, 221 +Oratory, VIII, 245 +ORDER OF THE CROWN, THE, XI, 7 +OTHER STATEMENTS, XII, 6 +OUR AMERICAN CZARS, V, 170 +OUR CODFISH ARISTOCRACY, IV, 272 +OUR FRIEND THE ENEMY, VIII, 316 +OUR H. Y. C. GOVERNOR, III, 265 + +OUR HEROIC YOUNG CHRISTIAN GOV., VI, 215 +OUR JACKASS DEPARTMENT, IX, 113 +OUR PLASTER-OF-PARIS NAPOLEON, V, 211 +OUR PUBLIC PANDERS, IV, 255 +OUR "SISTER REPUBLIC," II, 41 +OVERDOING REFORMATION, III, 140 + +PADEREWSKI'S PULL, IV, 130 +PAGET-THOMAS CONTROVERSY, V, 54 +PAINE AND THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, IX, 308 +PAINS OF ORATORICAL PARTURITION, VIII, 240 +PANACEAS FOR POVERTY, IV, 68 +PANIC AND ITS LESSONS THE, XI, 159 +PANTHERVILLE PATRIOT, A, III, 229 +PARVENUE IN "PAREE," A, III, 142 +PASSING OF WILLIAM COWPER BRANN, THE, XII, 43 +PASSING OF HOGG, THE, II, 43 +PASSING OF PARNELL, II, 206 +PASSING OF PINKIE, THE, IV, 214 +PASSING OF PROTESTANTISM, THE VIII, 181 +PASSING OF THE REPUBLIC, THE, VII, 95 +PASSING OF THE STUFFED PROPHET, VIII, 20 +PAT DONAN'S PROGNOSTICATIONS VI 43 +PEN PICTURE OF BRANN, A, XII, 68 +Pension System, III, 39, IV, 239; XI, 134 +"PERFUMES OF PASSION, THE," VIII, 175 +PERFUNCTORY PRAYER, II, 30 +PETTICOAT AS A PALLADIUM, THE, XI, 129 +PHILADELPHIA'S FEMALE FOOLS, XI, 199 +PHILIP AND THE EUNUCH, VII, 45 +PICTORIAL PAIN-KILLER, X, 28 +PILGRIMAGE TO PERDITION, A, I, 91 +PILLS AND POLITICS, X, 200 +PLAGUE OF POETS, A, VI, 266 +PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP FAKE, THE, I, 101 +PLEA FOR PATRICIATE, A, IX, 154 +POET PRIEST, THE, XI, 193 +Poetry, 1, 104, III, 223; VI, 266; +Political Corruption, II, 260; VII, + 95, 225, 300; VIII, 5 +POLITICAL HIPPODROME, A, IV, 191 +POLITICAL OLLA-PODRIDA, A, V, 113 +POLITICAL PARTIES, III, 63 + 112; IV, 299; V, 69, 88; VIII + 62, 81, 199, 204, 304; IX, 157 + 178, 250 +POLITICAL POINTERS, VI, 29 +POLITICIANS AND PENSIONERS, III, 39 +Polities (see Texas Politics, Poverty; Currency; etc.) +POLITICS IN THE PULPIT, VI, 174 +Polygamy, IV, 15 +POOR OLD TEXAS, I, 207 +POOR OLD TEXAS, VI, 205 +POSTAL INEPTITUDE, III, 192 +POTIPHAR'S WIFE, I, 1 +Poverty (and Wealth), I, 58, 81 + 91; II, 51; IV, 68, 198; V, 93 + 170; VI, 23, 144, 218, 277; VII, + 125, 157, 245; VIII, 65, 105, + 134, 310; IX, 118, 224; XI, 163; + XII, 249 +POWER OF PRAYER, THE, VII, 211 +Prayer, II, 30; IV, 305; VII, 211, +PRAYERS FOR THE PAGAN, IV, 63 +Preachers, I, 197; II, 156; III, + 101, 117, 261, 290; IV, 43, 89 + 219, 222, 297, 314; V, 232, 278; + VI, 1, 120, 174; VII, 14; VIII, + 98 152, 154, 254; IX, 95, 111, + 114, 144, 268, 295, XI, 169 +PREACHER IN POLITICS, III, 117 +PREACHERS AND FREE PASSES, IV, 219 +PRECIOUS PAIR, A., IV, 314 +Preparedness, Military, I, 23; II, + 137; III, 303; IV, 226; V 237; + VII, 70 IX, 45, 283; X 228, + XI, 215 +Press (see Journalism) +PRICE'S PREDICAMENT, II, 215 +Private Vengeance, XII, 100 +Prize Fighting, II, 281; III, 52, + 113, 161, IV, 155; V, 199, VIII, + 49, 156 194; X, 15 +PRIZE IDIOT OF THE EARTH, IX, 278 +PROFESSIONAL FAILURES, V, 76 +PROFESSIONAL REFORMER, THE I, 270 +Prohibition, II, 254; III, 186; IV, + 21, 233, 281, 287; V, 8, 39, 41, + 130; VI, 17, 305; VII, 242, + VIII, 137, 148, 162, 203; IX, + 194; X, 277; XI, 127; XII, 225 +PROHIBITION PLAGUE THE, II, 254 +Prostitution (see also Sexual Morality), + I, 187; III, 101; IV, 5, + 89, 270 +PROTECTION vs. FREE TRADE, IV, 229 +Protestantism (see Catholicism) +PRURIENT TEXAS PREACHER, A, IX, 111 +PUBLIC PEDAGOGUE, THE, I, 234 +PUBLIC SCHOOL FARCE, THE, III, 202 +PUFFERY OF THE PRESS, I, 250 +PUGILISM AND HYPOCRISY, II, 281 +PURELY POLITICAL, III, 235 +"QUO VADIS," XI, 1 + +Race Problem (see Negro Problem) +RAINBOW CHASERS, XII, 276 +Rape (see Negro Problem) +RAPE FIEND REMEDY, THE, IX, 38 +RECIPROCITY IN PRAYER, IV, 305 +RECIPROCITY IN SUGAR PLUMS, VII, 190 +RECTOR PAGE'S PROTEST, IV, 223 +Reed, Tom, V, 314 +Reedy, Wm. Marion, Articles by + VII, 205; X, 117, 168, 288, 302; + XI, 12, 58, 80, 98, 118; XII, 94 +Reformers, I, 270 III, 140; VII, + 157; IX, 224, XI, 110 +REIGN OF THE RED NECKS, THE, XI, 250 +RELIGION A DISEASE, IV, 36 +Religion and Science, I, 129, 163, 171 +RELIGIOUS BOYCOTT, A, III, 298 + Religious (or Church) Criticism, + I, 16, 70, 125, 163, 171, 285; II, + 1, 22; III, 65, 290, 294; IV, 36; + V, 21 148; VII, 63; VIII, 20, + 181, IX, 1, 67, 76; X, 253, XI, + 180, 282, 310 +Religious Intolerance vs. Religious + Freedom, II, 30, 149, 264, III, + 61, 111, 144, 298; V, 256; VI, + 27, 229; VII, 235, 271; VIII, + 52, 150; IX, 57, 63 +Religious Press, II, 78, 112; IV, + 79, 182 VII, 30, VIII, 250 +REMARKABLE PUBLIC EDUCATOR, A, VI, 140 +REPUBLIC IN DANGER, THE, II, 233 +REPUBLIC IN PERIL, THE, IX, 45 +REPUBLIC'S TEXAS ITINERARY, THE, III, 182 +REQUIESCAT IN PACE, I, 118 +REST--REST IN PEACE, XII, 56 +RESTRICTED IMMIGRATION, XI, 118 +RETORT COURTEOUS, THE, X, 72 +REVOLT OF HEN-PECKED HUSBANDS, V, 206 +Revolution Threatened, I, 23, 58; + 91; IV, 68; V, 170; VI, 144; + VII, 157; IX, 118, 303 +Rich, The (see High Society; Poverty and Wealth) +RIDDLE STILL UNRAVELING, DR., IV, 222 +RIDDLE UNRAVELING, THE, IV, 43 +RIGHT ROYAL ROAST, A, X, 38 +ROASTING THE SHEMALE RANTIPOLERS, VII, 49 +ROGER LAWSON'S BOMBSHELL, IV, 211 +Rockefeller, John D., XI, 172 +Royalty (see also High Society + Anglomaniacs), I, 118; VII, 49; + VIII, 277, 281 +Rudyard Kipling, Maker of Writings XI 139 + +SACRED LEG SHOW, A, V, 34 +SACRIFICE FOR COUNTRY'S SAKE, A, IV, 39 +SALVATION ARMY NUISANCE THE, V, 45 +SALVATION NO LONGER FREE, III, 294 +SANCTIFICATION AND THE SWORD, II, 149 +SANCTIFIED SHARK, A, V, 232 +"SASSIETY" IN NEW YORK CITY, VI, 211 +SATAN LOOSED FOR A SEASON, V, 43 +SAVIOURS OF TEXAS, THE, II, 310 +SAW-MILL CHECK SYSTEM, THE, X, 247 +SCIENCE OF KISSING, THE, I, 157 +Schools (see Education) +SCHOOLS OF JOURNALISM, III, 194 +SECOND EPISTLE OF THE "APOSTLE," IV, 182 +Second Wife The, XI, 266 +SEMPER VIVAT IN MEMORIAM, XII, 70 +SENATOR'S WOES, A, II, 39 +SEVEN VIALS OF WRATH, THE, I, 23 +SEVENTH COMMANDMENT, THE, I, 209 +Sexual Morality (see also Prostitution), + I, 1, 135, 173, 209, 271, + 274; II, 90, 170; III, 1, 146, + 279, IV, 5; V, 34, 66; VII, 149 + VIII, 20, 196; IX, 218, 246 +SEXUAL PURITY AND GUN-POWDER, V, 66 +SEXUAL SINS OF AMERICAN SOCIETY, VII, 149 +SHEOL TO PAY AT PARIS, VI, 229 +SHERMAN AND CLEVELAND, IV, 161 +Short Stories (see also Allegorical + Tales; Humorous Stories), II + 125, 69, 141 +SHOULD "BOB" BE HANGED? V, 1 +SIGNS OF THE TIMES, THE, IX, 118 +SIMPLE STATEMENT OF FACTS, XII, 82 +Single Tax, III, 78; VIII, 68, 105 + 286 IX, 133; X, 38: 230 +SINGLE TAX, THE, VIII, 105 +SINGLE-TAXERS, THE, III, 78 +SISTER'S SHAME, A, III, 101 +SIX-SHOOTER, THE, IV, 51 +SLANDERING THE SOUTH, VII, 5 +SLATTERY AND HIS DUPES, II, 187 +Slattery, Brann's Reply to, XII, 204 +SLAVE OR SOVEREIGN, XII, 249 +SLIPPERY BILL McKINLEY, V, 270 +SMASHING THE IDOL-SMASHER, VII, 315 +SOCIAL SWIM, THE, IV, 167 +SOCIETY'S FEMALE CARD SHARPS, XI, 182 +SOLDIERS OF PEACE, THE, IV, 315 +SOME CHEERFUL LIARS, VII, 277 +SOME ECONOMIC IDIOCY, X, 236 +SOME EDUCATIONAL IGNORANCE, IV, 47 +SOME ENGLISH POETS, XI, 80 +SOME GOLD-BUG GUFF, X, 101 +SOME KANSAS CITY CULTURE, XI, 187 +SOME MILLIONAIRE MENDICANTS, VI, 277 +SOME MISTAKES ABOUT MONEY, IX, 105 +South, The, I, 161, III, 315, V + 127; VII, 5; IX, 166 +SPEAKING FOR MYSELF, X, 183 +SPEAKING OF BRANN, XII, 62 +SPEAKING OF GALL, XII, 115 +SPEARING OF NIGGER BABIES, VI, 1 +SPEAKING OF PEDIGREES, III, 188 +SPEAKING OF SPIRITUALISM, X, 96 +SPEARING OF TEXAS, IV, 143 +SPECIMEN APE, A, IV, 135 +Spiritualism, X, 96 +Stage, the, IV, 117, 129, VII, 63 +STAGE AND STAGE DEGENERATES, THE, X, 214 +Stock Exchange, The, VIII, 265 +STORY OF THE OUTRAGED BROWN, XI, 223 +STORY OF THE SEA, A, I, 32 +Suicide, V, 24 +SUNDAY IN NEW YORK, III, 61 +SUNDAY IN WACO, III, 111 +SUNDAY JOURNALISM. III, 56 +Sunday Laws (see Religious Intolerance + vs. Religions Freedom) +Swindle, Gold Brick, IV, 64 +SWORD AND THE CROSS, THE, X, 253 + +Talmage I, 187; II, 83; IV, 140; + V, 93; IX, 67 +TALMAGE'S INDIGESTION IX, 67 +TALMAGE THE TURGID, I, 197 +TALMAGE'S WAR TALK, IV, 140 +Tammany Hall, IV, 1 +Tariff, IV, 229 +Taxation (see also Single Tax), X, 236 +TEDDY'S DAGOS, VII, 51 +TEIXEIRA AFFIDAVIT, THE, VI, 125 +Teixeira Case, II, 286; III, 29, 150 + 222; V, 81: VI, 125; X, 63, 77 +TEIXEIRA-MORRIS CASE, THE, III, 222 +TEIXEIRA-MORRIS CASE, THE, V, 81 +TEMPESTUOUS RELIGIONISTS AT TEMPLE, XI 108 +TERRIFIC DEADLY CONFLICT, XII, 32 +Texas, I, 184, 207; II 159, 310; + IV, 143, 167; IX, 189; XII, 246 +TEXAS AND TOLERANCE, II, 264 +Texas Politics, II, 43 59, 247; + III, 161, 265; IV, 39, 285, 312; + V, 2, 91, 113, 198, 220, 224; VI, + 52, 57, 95, 205 215, 236; VII, + 19, 87; VIII, 147; X, 66 +TEXAS SINGER, A, IV, 210 +TEXAS TOPICS, X, 63 +THAT TEXAS TESTIMONIAL, IV, 312 +"THE CAT CAME BACK!" IV, 1 +THERE'S ONE COMES AFTER, I, 203 +THIRD TERM CONSPIRACY, V, 59 +THOSE CHINESE OUTRAGES, III, 107 +THOMAS CARLYLE, I, 107 +THOU SHALT NOT, V, 243 +THREE-CORNERED CONTROVERSY A, II, 174 +THREE-CORNERED CONTROVERSY, A, III, 112 +THOSE FASHIONABLE FORNICATORS, V, 145 +THROWING STONES AT CHRIST, I, 125 +TIENS TA FOI, I, 104 +Tipping System, V, 159 +THY BROTHER'S WIFE, XI, 245 +TO GOV. CHARLES ANSERINE CULBERSON, V, 2 +Tolstoi, II, 201 +TOM REID'S CANDIDACY, V 314 +TOMMIE WATSON'S TOMMY-ROT, X, 195 +"TOO MUCH WORLD," VI, 144 +TOUCH OF HIGH LIFE, A, II, 51 +TOUR AMONG THE TITANS A, VII, 254 +Trenholm, John Swope, Article by, XI, 255 +TRILBY AND THE TRILBYITES, I, 274 +TRILBY PARTIES AND PIETY, VIII, 30 +TRUE LOVE TRIALS, III, 43 +Truth vs. Lying, II, 34, 305 VII, 277 +TWO "GREAT" ISSUES, THE, V, 68 +TWO OF A KIND, X, 246 +"TYPICAL AMERICAN TOWN, THE," X, 105 + +UNCLE SAM IN THE SOUP, V, 209 +"UNCLE WILLIAM" CAMERON, IV, 64 +UNDER WHICH FLAG? VII, 138 +Unemployment (see Labor; Poverty; + Revolution Threatened) +UNFAITHFUL LORD, THE, XI, 44 +UNITED STATES ARMY ASININITY, VII. 1 +UNPROFITABLE CONTROVERSY, AN 1, 171 +UNRAVELED RIDDLE, AN, III, 261 +"UNWRITTEN LAW, THE," IX, 218 + +VERY BAD BREAK, A, VI, 202 +VICTOR HUGO'S IMMORALITY, I, 149 +Victoria, Queen, VII, 49, VIII + 281; IX, 61 +VISION OF HEAVEN, A, II, 22 +VISIONS AND DREAMS, II, 83 +VOICE FROM THE GRAVE, A, V, 237 + +Waco (Texas), Description of, VII + 290; XI, 31 +WACO'S "WARWICK" II, 59 +WAIL FROM THE A. P. A. V, 299 +Wanamaker, John, XI, 97 +WANTED: ONE WORD, IX, 209 +War and Religion, X, 253 +WAR OR WIND? III, 303 +War, Prophecy of World War, I, 23 +WARD, W. H., XII, 17 +WASHINGTON'S WICKEDNESS, XI, 210 +WATSON, J. L., VII, 41 +Watterson, Henry, VII, 137; VIII, 270 +WAYSIDE SERMON, A, III, 207 +Wealth (see Poverty; High Society) +WEALTH OF NATIONS, THE, IV, 226 +Weapons, Carrying of, IV, 51 +WEARY MUGWUMP, A, IX 158 +"WEDDING OF THE SEASON, THE," V, 291 +WHAT IS A JINGO? IX, 283 +WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH MISSOURI? X, 302 +WHO IS MARK HANNA? VI, 279 +WHY AND WHEREFORE, THE, XI, 31 +WHY THIS IS THUS, VIII, 81 +"WHY WE HATE GREAT BRITAIN," IX 101 +WILDE AND HIS WORSHIPERS, II, 170 +WILLY WALLY TO WED, IV, 201 +WILLY WALLY TO WED, V, 183 +WITHIN CONVENT WALLS, VII, 87 +Woman, Courage of, VIII, 170 +WOMAN IN JOURNALISM, V, 62 +Woman's Suffrage (see also New + Woman, The), I, 66; IV, 151; + VI, 7 +WOMAN THOU GAVEST ME, THE, I, 66 +WOMAN'S WICKEDNESS, I, 190 +WORD ABOUT WACO, A, VII, 290 +WORKING FASHION'S FOOLS, I, 231 +WORKING WOMAN, THE, VII, 309 +Wyche, Robert Lee, Articles by, X, + 214; XI, 152 + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Etext of Volume 12 of Brann The Iconoclast + Binary files differdiff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. 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