diff options
| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 05:25:59 -0700 |
|---|---|---|
| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 05:25:59 -0700 |
| commit | 09cb81c93541c37d4fced5d7f8fa0026de5146b5 (patch) | |
| tree | 94d3b71938a2bdc6a49b11fb0c24a0bae232f87f | |
| -rw-r--r-- | .gitattributes | 3 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h.zip | bin | 0 -> 1866466 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/5690-h.htm | 4437 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/cover.jpg | bin | 0 -> 190721 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/dedication.jpg | bin | 0 -> 11472 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/frontpiece1.jpg | bin | 0 -> 79380 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/frontpiece2.jpg | bin | 0 -> 84451 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p207.jpg | bin | 0 -> 18173 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p208.jpg | bin | 0 -> 26129 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p209.jpg | bin | 0 -> 15323 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p210.jpg | bin | 0 -> 57290 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p215.jpg | bin | 0 -> 16853 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p220.jpg | bin | 0 -> 21969 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p226.jpg | bin | 0 -> 25795 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p229.jpg | bin | 0 -> 2536 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p230.jpg | bin | 0 -> 59758 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p234.jpg | bin | 0 -> 12134 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p236.jpg | bin | 0 -> 26147 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p238.jpg | bin | 0 -> 37504 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p239.jpg | bin | 0 -> 24155 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p241.jpg | bin | 0 -> 71499 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p245.jpg | bin | 0 -> 22288 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p246.jpg | bin | 0 -> 17025 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p248.jpg | bin | 0 -> 40687 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p250.jpg | bin | 0 -> 36763 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p258.jpg | bin | 0 -> 29129 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p263.jpg | bin | 0 -> 39132 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p264.jpg | bin | 0 -> 50253 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p267.jpg | bin | 0 -> 10108 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p276.jpg | bin | 0 -> 35981 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p278.jpg | bin | 0 -> 12843 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p281.jpg | bin | 0 -> 68870 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p285.jpg | bin | 0 -> 23152 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p286.jpg | bin | 0 -> 24426 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p288.jpg | bin | 0 -> 20190 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p289.jpg | bin | 0 -> 22589 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p291.jpg | bin | 0 -> 34643 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p293.jpg | bin | 0 -> 42488 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p299.jpg | bin | 0 -> 60841 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p302.jpg | bin | 0 -> 29523 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p303.jpg | bin | 0 -> 14584 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p304.jpg | bin | 0 -> 13335 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p309.jpg | bin | 0 -> 21082 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p313.jpg | bin | 0 -> 36740 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p316.jpg | bin | 0 -> 20667 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p319.jpg | bin | 0 -> 21326 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p320.jpg | bin | 0 -> 40980 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p321.jpg | bin | 0 -> 38708 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p323.jpg | bin | 0 -> 103235 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/p325.jpg | bin | 0 -> 26811 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690-h/images/titlepage.jpg | bin | 0 -> 45721 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690.txt | 3935 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 5690.zip | bin | 0 -> 91501 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | LICENSE.txt | 11 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | README.md | 2 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/mt3in10h.zip | bin | 0 -> 1865909 bytes |
56 files changed, 8388 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/5690-h.zip b/5690-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2c3f78f --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h.zip diff --git a/5690-h/5690-h.htm b/5690-h/5690-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d97d8e2 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/5690-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,4437 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html> +<head> +<title>INNOCENTS ABROAD BY TWAIN, Part 3, CH 21-30</title> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> + + +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + body {background:#faebd7; margin:10%; text-align:justify} + P { + text-indent: 1em; + margin-top: .75em; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; text-align: center; } + blockquote {font-size: 97% } + .figleft {float: left;} + .figright {float: right;} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + // --> +</style> + + +</head> +<body> + +<h2>THE INNOCENTS ABROAD, Part 3</h2> +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Innocents Abroad, Part 3 of 6 +by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Innocents Abroad, Part 3 of 6 + +Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +Release Date: June 15, 2004 [EBook #5690] +[Last updated: July 16, 2011] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE INNOCENTS ABROAD, PART 3 OF 6 *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + + + +<br> +<hr> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<center><h1>THE INNOCENTS ABROAD</h1> +<h3>Part 3, Chapters 21 to 30</h3> + +<br><br><br> +<h2>by Mark Twain</h2></center> +<br><br><br> + +<center><a name="cover"></a><img alt="cover.jpg (186K)" src="images/cover.jpg" height="700" width="600"> +<br>[Cover and Spine from the 1884 Edition]</center> + + +<br><br><br><br><br><br> + +<center><a name="frontpiece1"></a><img alt="frontpiece1.jpg (77K)" src="images/frontpiece1.jpg" height="335" width="630"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br><br><br> + +<center><a name="frontpiece2"></a><img alt="frontpiece2.jpg (82K)" src="images/frontpiece2.jpg" height="911" width="537"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br><br><br> + +<center><h1>THE INNOCENTS ABROAD</h1> + +<br><br><br> +<h2>by Mark Twain</h2> + +<br><br><br> +<h3>[From an 1869--1st Edition]</h3></center> + +<br><br><br><br><br><br> + + +<center><a name="titlepage"></a><img alt="titlepage.jpg (44K)" src="images/titlepage.jpg" height="1021" width="629"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br><br><br> + +<center><a name="dedication"></a><img alt="dedication.jpg (11K)" src="images/dedication.jpg" height="329" width="513"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br><br><br> + + <center><h2>CONTENTS</h2></center> + +<br><br> + +<h3><a href="#ILLUSTRATIONS">LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS</a></h3> +<br> + + +<h3> <a href="#ch21">CHAPTER XXI.</a> +</h3>The Pretty Lago di Lecco--A Carriage Drive in the Country--Astonishing +Sociability in a Coachman--Sleepy Land--Bloody Shrines--The Heart and +Home of Priestcraft--A Thrilling Mediaeval Romance--The Birthplace of +Harlequin--Approaching Venice + +<h3> <a href="#ch22">CHAPTER XXII.</a> +</h3>Night in Venice--The "Gay Gondolier"--The Grand Fete by +Moonlight--The Notable Sights of Venice--The Mother of the Republics Desolate + +<h3> <a href="#ch23">CHAPTER XXIII.</a> +</h3>The Famous Gondola--The Gondola in an Unromantic Aspect--The Great Square +of St. Mark and the Winged Lion--Snobs, at Home and Abroad--Sepulchres of +the Great Dead--A Tilt at the "Old Masters"--A Contraband +Guide--The Conspiracy--Moving Again + +<h3> <a href="#ch24">CHAPTER XXIV.</a> +</h3>Down Through Italy by Rail--Idling in Florence--Dante and Galileo--An +Ungrateful City--Dazzling Generosity--Wonderful Mosaics--The Historical +Arno--Lost Again--Found Again, but no Fatted Calf Ready--The Leaning +Tower of Pisa--The Ancient Duomo--The Old Original First Pendulum that +Ever Swung--An Enchanting Echo--A New Holy Sepulchre--A Relic of +Antiquity--A Fallen Republic--At Leghorn--At Home Again, and Satisfied, +on Board the Ship--Our Vessel an Object of Grave Suspicion--Garibaldi +Visited--Threats of Quarantine + +<h3> <a href="#ch25">CHAPTER XXV.</a> +</h3>The Works of Bankruptcy--Railway Grandeur--How to Fill an Empty +Treasury--The Sumptuousness of Mother Church--Ecclesiastical +Splendor--Magnificence and Misery--General Execration--More Magnificence +A Good Word for the Priests--Civita Vecchia the Dismal--Off for Rome + +<h3> <a href="#ch26">CHAPTER XXVI.</a> +</h3>The Modern Roman on His Travels--The Grandeur of St. Peter's--Holy +Relics--Grand View from the Dome--The Holy Inquisition--Interesting Old Monkish +Frauds--The Ruined Coliseum--The Coliseum in the Days of its +Prime--Ancient Playbill of a Coliseum Performance--A Roman Newspaper Criticism +1700 Years Old + +<h3> <a href="#ch27">CHAPTER XXVII.</a> +</h3>"Butchered to Make a Roman Holiday"--The Man who Never +Complained--An Exasperating Subject--Asinine Guides--The Roman Catacombs +The Saint Whose Fervor Burst his Ribs--The Miracle of the Bleeding +Heart--The Legend of Ara Coeli + +<h3> <a href="#ch28">CHAPTER XXVIII.</a> +</h3>Picturesque Horrors--The Legend of Brother Thomas--Sorrow Scientifically +Analyzed--A Festive Company of the Dead--The Great Vatican Museum +Artist Sins of Omission--The Rape of the Sabines--Papal Protection of +Art--High Price of "Old Masters"--Improved Scripture--Scale of Rank +of the Holy Personages in Rome--Scale of Honors Accorded +Them--Fossilizing--Away for Naples + +<h3> <a href="#ch29">CHAPTER XXIX.</a> +</h3>Naples--In Quarantine at Last--Annunciation--Ascent of Mount Vesuvius--A +Two Cent Community--The Black Side of Neapolitan Character--Monkish +Miracles--Ascent of Mount Vesuvius Continued--The Stranger and the +Hackman--Night View of Naples from the Mountain-side---Ascent of Mount +Vesuvius Continued + +<h3> <a href="#ch30">CHAPTER XXX.</a> +</h3>Ascent of Mount Vesuvius Continued--Beautiful View at Dawn--Less +Beautiful in the Back Streets--Ascent of Vesuvius Continued--Dwellings a +Hundred Feet High--A Motley Procession--Bill of Fare for a Peddler's +Breakfast--Princely Salaries--Ascent of Vesuvius Continued--An Average of +Prices--The wonderful "Blue Grotto"--Visit to Celebrated Localities in +the Bay of Naples--The Poisoned "Grotto of the Dog"--A Petrified Sea of +Lava--Ascent of Mount Vesuvius Continued--The Summit Reached--Description +of the Crater--Descent of Vesuvius + + + + +<br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="ILLUSTRATIONS"></a>LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS +</h2> + +<center> +<table summary=""> +<tr><td> +<br> +<a href="#frontpiece1">1 THE QUAKER CITY IN A STORM--FRONTPIECE</a><br> +<a href="#frontpiece2">2 ILLUMINATED TITLE-PAGE-THE PILGRIM'S VISION</a><br> +<a href="#p207">73 SOCIAL DRIVER </a><br> +<a href="#p208">74 WAYSIDE SHRINE</a><br> +<a href="#p209">75 PEACE AND HAPPINESS</a><br> +<a href="#p210">76 CASTLE OF COUNT LUIGI</a><br> +<a href="#p215">77 THE WICKED BROTHER</a><br> +<a href="#p220">78 DISGUSTED GONDOLIER</a><br> +<a href="#p226">79 CATHEDRAL OF ST. MARK</a><br> +<a href="#p229">80 THE PEG</a><br> +<a href="#p230">81 "GOOD-BY"</a><br> +<a href="#p234">82 M'SIEUR GOR-R-DONG</a><br> +<a href="#p236">83 MONUMENT TO THE DOOR</a><br> +<a href="#p238">84 ST. MARK, MATHEW, JEROME BY THE OLD MASTERS</a><br> +<a href="#p239">87 ST. SEBASTIAN, AND ST. UNKNOWN BY THE OLD MASTERS </a><br> +<a href="#p241">89 RIALTO BRIDGE AND BRIDGE OF SIGHS</a><br> +<a href="#p245">91 FLORENCE</a><br> +<a href="#p246">92 THE PENSIONER</a><br> +<a href="#p248">93 "I WANT TO GO HOME"</a><br> +<a href="#p250">94 THE LEANING TOWER</a><br> +<a href="#p250">95 THE CONTRAST </a><br> +<a href="#p263">96 ITALIAN PASTIMES</a><br> +<a href="#p264">97 INCENDIARY DOCUMENT</a><br> +<a href="#p267">98 A ROMAN OF 1869</a><br> +<a href="#p276">99 MAMERTINE PRISON</a><br> +<a href="#p278">100 OLD ROMAN</a><br> +<a href="#p281">101 COLISEUM OF ANCIENT ROME</a><br> +<a href="#p285">102 DID NOT COMPLAIN</a><br> +<a href="#p286">103 HUMBOLDT HOUSE</a><br> +<a href="#p288">104 DAN</a><br> +<a href="#p289">105 BRONZE STATUE</a><br> +<a href="#p291">106 PENMANSHIP </a><br> +<a href="#p293">107 ON A BUST</a><br> +<a href="#p299">108 VAULTS OF THE CONVENT</a><br> +<a href="#p302">109 DRIED CONVENT FRUITS</a><br> +<a href="#p303">110 AT THE STORE</a><br> +<a href="#p304">111 AT HOME </a><br> +<a href="#p309">112 SOOTHING THE PILGRIMS</a><br> +<a href="#p313">113 ASCENT OF MT VESUVIUS</a><br> +<a href="#p316">114 BAY OF NAPLES</a><br> +<a href="#p319">115 THE MUSTANG</a><br> +<a href="#p320">116 ISLAND OF CAPRI</a><br> +<a href="#p321">117 BLUE GROTTO</a><br> +<a href="#p323">118 VESUVIUS AND BAY of NAPLES</a><br> +<a href="#p325">119 THE DESCENT</a><br> + +</td></tr> +</table> +</center> + + + + + + +<br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="ch21"></a>CHAPTER XXI. +</h2> +<p>We voyaged by steamer down the Lago di Lecco, through wild mountain +scenery, and by hamlets and villas, and disembarked at the town of Lecco. +They said it was two hours, by carriage to the ancient city of Bergamo, +and that we would arrive there in good season for the railway train. We +got an open barouche and a wild, boisterous driver, and set out. It was +delightful. We had a fast team and a perfectly smooth road. There were +towering cliffs on our left, and the pretty Lago di Lecco on our right, +and every now and then it rained on us. Just before starting, the driver +picked up, in the street, a stump of a cigar an inch long, and put it in +his mouth. When he had carried it thus about an hour, I thought it would +be only Christian charity to give him a light. I handed him my cigar, +which I had just lit, and he put it in his mouth and returned his stump +to his pocket! I never saw a more sociable man. At least I never saw a +man who was more sociable on a short acquaintance. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p207"></a><img alt="p207.jpg (17K)" src="images/p207.jpg" height="295" width="375"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>We saw interior Italy, now. The houses were of solid stone, and not +often in good repair. The peasants and their children were idle, as a +general thing, and the donkeys and chickens made themselves at home in +drawing-room and bed-chamber and were not molested. The drivers of each +and every one of the slow-moving market-carts we met were stretched in +the sun upon their merchandise, sound a sleep. Every three or four +hundred yards, it seemed to me, we came upon the shrine of some saint or +other--a rude picture of him built into a huge cross or a stone pillar by +the road-side.--Some of the pictures of the Saviour were curiosities in +their way. They represented him stretched upon the cross, his +countenance distorted with agony. From the wounds of the crown of +thorns; from the pierced side; from the mutilated hands and feet; from +the scourged body--from every hand-breadth of his person streams of blood +were flowing! Such a gory, ghastly spectacle would frighten the children +out of their senses, I should think. There were some unique auxiliaries +to the painting which added to its spirited effect. These were genuine +wooden and iron implements, and were prominently disposed round about the +figure: a bundle of nails; the hammer to drive them; the sponge; the reed +that supported it; the cup of vinegar; the ladder for the ascent of the +cross; the spear that pierced the Saviour's side. The crown of thorns +was made of real thorns, and was nailed to the sacred head. In some +Italian church-paintings, even by the old masters, the Saviour and the +Virgin wear silver or gilded crowns that are fastened to the pictured +head with nails. The effect is as grotesque as it is incongruous. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p208"></a><img alt="p208.jpg (25K)" src="images/p208.jpg" height="521" width="337"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>Here and there, on the fronts of roadside inns, we found huge, coarse +frescoes of suffering martyrs like those in the shrines. It could not +have diminished their sufferings any to be so uncouthly represented. +We were in the heart and home of priest craft--of a happy, cheerful, +contented ignorance, superstition, degradation, poverty, indolence, and +everlasting unaspiring worthlessness. And we said fervently: it suits +these people precisely; let them enjoy it, along with the other animals, +and Heaven forbid that they be molested. We feel no malice toward these +fumigators. + +<p>We passed through the strangest, funniest, undreampt-of old towns, wedded +to the customs and steeped in the dreams of the elder ages, and perfectly +unaware that the world turns round! And perfectly indifferent, too, as +to whether it turns around or stands still. They have nothing to do but +eat and sleep and sleep and eat, and toil a little when they can get a +friend to stand by and keep them awake. They are not paid for +thinking--they are not paid to fret about the world's concerns. They were not +respectable people--they were not worthy people--they were not learned +and wise and brilliant people--but in their breasts, all their stupid +lives long, resteth a peace that passeth understanding! How can men, +calling themselves men, consent to be so degraded and happy. + + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p209"></a><img alt="p209.jpg (14K)" src="images/p209.jpg" height="307" width="371"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>We whisked by many a gray old medieval castle, clad thick with ivy that +swung its green banners down from towers and turrets where once some old +Crusader's flag had floated. The driver pointed to one of these ancient +fortresses, and said, (I translate): + +<p>"Do you see that great iron hook that projects from the wall just under +the highest window in the ruined tower?" + +<p>We said we could not see it at such a distance, but had no doubt it was +there. + +<p>"Well," he said; "there is a legend connected with that iron hook. +Nearly seven hundred years ago, that castle was the property of the noble +Count Luigi Gennaro Guido Alphonso di Genova----" + +<p>"What was his other name?" said Dan. + +<p>"He had no other name. The name I have spoken was all the name he had. +He was the son of----" + +<p>"Poor but honest parents--that is all right--never mind the +particulars--go on with the legend." + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p210"></a><img alt="p210.jpg (55K)" src="images/p210.jpg" height="621" width="583"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + + <center><h3>THE LEGEND.</h3></center> + +<p>Well, then, all the world, at that time, was in a wild excitement about +the Holy Sepulchre. All the great feudal lords in Europe were pledging +their lands and pawning their plate to fit out men-at-arms so that they +might join the grand armies of Christendom and win renown in the Holy +Wars. The Count Luigi raised money, like the rest, and one mild +September morning, armed with battle-ax, portcullis and thundering +culverin, he rode through the greaves and bucklers of his donjon-keep +with as gallant a troop of Christian bandits as ever stepped in Italy. +He had his sword, Excalibur, with him. His beautiful countess and her +young daughter waved him a tearful adieu from the battering-rams and +buttresses of the fortress, and he galloped away with a happy heart. + +<p>He made a raid on a neighboring baron and completed his outfit with the +booty secured. He then razed the castle to the ground, massacred the +family and moved on. They were hardy fellows in the grand old days of +chivalry. Alas! Those days will never come again. + +<p>Count Luigi grew high in fame in Holy Land. He plunged into the carnage +of a hundred battles, but his good Excalibur always brought him out +alive, albeit often sorely wounded. His face became browned by exposure +to the Syrian sun in long marches; he suffered hunger and thirst; he +pined in prisons, he languished in loathsome plague-hospitals. And many +and many a time he thought of his loved ones at home, and wondered if all +was well with them. But his heart said, Peace, is not thy brother +watching over thy household? + + <center>* * * * * * *</center> + +<p>Forty-two years waxed and waned; the good fight was won; Godfrey reigned +in Jerusalem--the Christian hosts reared the banner of the cross above +the Holy Sepulchre! + +<p>Twilight was approaching. Fifty harlequins, in flowing robes, approached +this castle wearily, for they were on foot, and the dust upon their +garments betokened that they had traveled far. They overtook a peasant, +and asked him if it were likely they could get food and a hospitable bed +there, for love of Christian charity, and if perchance, a moral parlor +entertainment might meet with generous countenance--"for," said they, +"this exhibition hath no feature that could offend the most fastidious +taste." + +<p>"Marry," quoth the peasant, "an' it please your worships, ye had better +journey many a good rood hence with your juggling circus than trust your +bones in yonder castle." + +<p>"How now, sirrah!" exclaimed the chief monk, "explain thy ribald speech, +or by'r Lady it shall go hard with thee." + +<p>"Peace, good mountebank, I did but utter the truth that was in my heart. +San Paolo be my witness that did ye but find the stout Count Leonardo in +his cups, sheer from the castle's topmost battlements would he hurl ye +all! Alack-a-day, the good Lord Luigi reigns not here in these sad +times." + +<p>"The good Lord Luigi?" + +<p>"Aye, none other, please your worship. In his day, the poor rejoiced in +plenty and the rich he did oppress; taxes were not known, the fathers of +the church waxed fat upon his bounty; travelers went and came, with none +to interfere; and whosoever would, might tarry in his halls in cordial +welcome, and eat his bread and drink his wine, withal. But woe is me! +some two and forty years agone the good count rode hence to fight for +Holy Cross, and many a year hath flown since word or token have we had of +him. Men say his bones lie bleaching in the fields of Palestine." + +<p>"And now?" + +<p>"Now! God 'a mercy, the cruel Leonardo lords it in the castle. He +wrings taxes from the poor; he robs all travelers that journey by his +gates; he spends his days in feuds and murders, and his nights in revel +and debauch; he roasts the fathers of the church upon his kitchen spits, +and enjoyeth the same, calling it pastime. These thirty years Luigi's +countess hath not been seen by any [he] in all this land, and many +whisper that she pines in the dungeons of the castle for that she will +not wed with Leonardo, saying her dear lord still liveth and that she +will die ere she prove false to him. They whisper likewise that her +daughter is a prisoner as well. Nay, good jugglers, seek ye refreshment +other wheres. 'Twere better that ye perished in a Christian way than +that ye plunged from off yon dizzy tower. Give ye good-day." + +<p>"God keep ye, gentle knave--farewell." + +<p>But heedless of the peasant's warning, the players moved straightway +toward the castle. + +<p>Word was brought to Count Leonardo that a company of mountebanks besought +his hospitality. + +<p>"'Tis well. Dispose of them in the customary manner. Yet stay! I have +need of them. Let them come hither. Later, cast them from the +battlements--or--how many priests have ye on hand?" + +<p>"The day's results are meagre, good my lord. An abbot and a dozen +beggarly friars is all we have." + +<p>"Hell and furies! Is the estate going to seed? Send hither the +mountebanks. Afterward, broil them with the priests." + +<p>The robed and close-cowled harlequins entered. The grim Leonardo sate in +state at the head of his council board. Ranged up and down the hall on +either hand stood near a hundred men-at-arms. + +<p>"Ha, villains!" quoth the count, "What can ye do to earn the hospitality +ye crave." + +<p>"Dread lord and mighty, crowded audiences have greeted our humble efforts +with rapturous applause. Among our body count we the versatile and +talented Ugolino; the justly celebrated Rodolpho; the gifted and +accomplished Roderigo; the management have spared neither pains nor +expense--" + +<p>"S'death! What can ye do? Curb thy prating tongue." + +<p>"Good my lord, in acrobatic feats, in practice with the dumb-bells, in +balancing and ground and lofty tumbling are we versed--and sith your +highness asketh me, I venture here to publish that in the truly marvelous +and entertaining Zampillaerostation--" + +<p>"Gag him! throttle him! Body of Bacchus! am I a dog that I am to be +assailed with polysyllabled blasphemy like to this? But hold! Lucretia, +Isabel, stand forth! Sirrah, behold this dame, this weeping wench. The +first I marry, within the hour; the other shall dry her tears or feed the +vultures. Thou and thy vagabonds shall crown the wedding with thy +merry-makings. Fetch hither the priest!" + +<p>The dame sprang toward the chief player. + +<p>"O, save me!" she cried; "save me from a fate far worse than death! +Behold these sad eyes, these sunken cheeks, this withered frame! See +thou the wreck this fiend hath made, and let thy heart be moved with +pity! Look upon this damosel; note her wasted form, her halting step, +her bloomless cheeks where youth should blush and happiness exult in +smiles! Hear us and have compassion. This monster was my husband's +brother. He who should have been our shield against all harm, hath kept +us shut within the noisome caverns of his donjon-keep for lo these thirty +years. And for what crime? None other than that I would not belie my +troth, root out my strong love for him who marches with the legions of +the cross in Holy Land, (for O, he is not dead!) and wed with him! Save +us, O, save thy persecuted suppliants!" + +<p>She flung herself at his feet and clasped his knees. + +<p>"Ha!-ha!-ha!" shouted the brutal Leonardo. "Priest, to thy work!" and +he dragged the weeping dame from her refuge. "Say, once for all, will +you be mine?--for by my halidome, that breath that uttereth thy refusal +shall be thy last on earth!" + +<p>"NE-VER?" + +<p>"Then die!" and the sword leaped from its scabbard. + +<p>Quicker than thought, quicker than the lightning's flash, fifty monkish +habits disappeared, and fifty knights in splendid armor stood revealed! +fifty falchions gleamed in air above the men-at-arms, and brighter, +fiercer than them all, flamed Excalibur aloft, and cleaving downward +struck the brutal Leonardo's weapon from his grasp! + +<p>"A Luigi to the rescue! Whoop!" + +<p>"A Leonardo! 'tare an ouns!'" + +<p>"Oh, God, Oh, God, my husband!" + +<p>"Oh, God, Oh, God, my wife!" + +<p>"My father!" + +<p>"My precious!" [Tableau.] + +<p>Count Luigi bound his usurping brother hand and foot. The practiced +knights from Palestine made holyday sport of carving the awkward +men-at-arms into chops and steaks. The victory was complete. Happiness +reigned. The knights all married the daughter. Joy! wassail! finis! + +<p>"But what did they do with the wicked brother?" + +<p>"Oh nothing--only hanged him on that iron hook I was speaking of. By the +chin." + +<p>"As how?" + +<p>"Passed it up through his gills into his mouth." + +<p>"Leave him there?" + +<p>"Couple of years." + +<p>"Ah--is--is he dead?" + +<p>"Six hundred and fifty years ago, or such a matter." + +<p>"Splendid legend--splendid lie--drive on." + + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p215"></a><img alt="p215.jpg (16K)" src="images/p215.jpg" height="427" width="289"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>We reached the quaint old fortified city of Bergamo, the renowned in +history, some three-quarters of an hour before the train was ready to +start. The place has thirty or forty thousand inhabitants and is +remarkable for being the birthplace of harlequin. When we discovered +that, that legend of our driver took to itself a new interest in our +eyes. + +<p>Rested and refreshed, we took the rail happy and contented. I shall not +tarry to speak of the handsome Lago di Gardi; its stately castle that +holds in its stony bosom the secrets of an age so remote that even +tradition goeth not back to it; the imposing mountain scenery that +ennobles the landscape thereabouts; nor yet of ancient Padua or haughty +Verona; nor of their Montagues and Capulets, their famous balconies and +tombs of Juliet and Romeo et al., but hurry straight to the ancient city +of the sea, the widowed bride of the Adriatic. It was a long, long ride. +But toward evening, as we sat silent and hardly conscious of where we +were--subdued into that meditative calm that comes so surely after a +conversational storm--some one shouted-- + +<p>"VENICE!" + +<p>And sure enough, afloat on the placid sea a league away, lay a great +city, with its towers and domes and steeples drowsing in a golden mist of +sunset. + + + +<br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="ch22"></a>CHAPTER XXII. +</h2> +<p>This Venice, which was a haughty, invincible, magnificent Republic for +nearly fourteen hundred years; whose armies compelled the world's +applause whenever and wherever they battled; whose navies well nigh held +dominion of the seas, and whose merchant fleets whitened the remotest +oceans with their sails and loaded these piers with the products of every +clime, is fallen a prey to poverty, neglect and melancholy decay. Six +hundred years ago, Venice was the Autocrat of Commerce; her mart was the +great commercial centre, the distributing-house from whence the enormous +trade of the Orient was spread abroad over the Western world. To-day her +piers are deserted, her warehouses are empty, her merchant fleets are +vanished, her armies and her navies are but memories. Her glory is +departed, and with her crumbling grandeur of wharves and palaces about +her she sits among her stagnant lagoons, forlorn and beggared, forgotten +of the world. She that in her palmy days commanded the commerce of a +hemisphere and made the weal or woe of nations with a beck of her +puissant finger, is become the humblest among the peoples of the +earth,--a peddler of glass beads for women, and trifling toys and trinkets for +school-girls and children. + +<p>The venerable Mother of the Republics is scarce a fit subject for +flippant speech or the idle gossipping of tourists. It seems a sort of +sacrilege to disturb the glamour of old romance that pictures her to us +softly from afar off as through a tinted mist, and curtains her ruin and +her desolation from our view. One ought, indeed, to turn away from her +rags, her poverty and her humiliation, and think of her only as she was +when she sunk the fleets of Charlemagne; when she humbled Frederick +Barbarossa or waved her victorious banners above the battlements of +Constantinople. + +<p>We reached Venice at eight in the evening, and entered a hearse belonging +to the Grand Hotel d'Europe. At any rate, it was more like a hearse than +any thing else, though to speak by the card, it was a gondola. And this +was the storied gondola of Venice!--the fairy boat in which the princely +cavaliers of the olden time were wont to cleave the waters of the moonlit +canals and look the eloquence of love into the soft eyes of patrician +beauties, while the gay gondolier in silken doublet touched his guitar +and sang as only gondoliers can sing! This the famed gondola and this +the gorgeous gondolier!--the one an inky, rusty old canoe with a sable +hearse-body clapped on to the middle of it, and the other a mangy, +barefooted guttersnipe with a portion of his raiment on exhibition which +should have been sacred from public scrutiny. Presently, as he turned a +corner and shot his hearse into a dismal ditch between two long rows of +towering, untenanted buildings, the gay gondolier began to sing, true to +the traditions of his race. I stood it a little while. Then I said: + +<p>"Now, here, Roderigo Gonzales Michael Angelo, I'm a pilgrim, and I'm a +stranger, but I am not going to have my feelings lacerated by any such +caterwauling as that. If that goes on, one of us has got to take water. +It is enough that my cherished dreams of Venice have been blighted +forever as to the romantic gondola and the gorgeous gondolier; this +system of destruction shall go no farther; I will accept the hearse, +under protest, and you may fly your flag of truce in peace, but here I +register a dark and bloody oath that you shan't sing. Another yelp, and +overboard you go." + +<p>I began to feel that the old Venice of song and story had departed +forever. But I was too hasty. In a few minutes we swept gracefully out +into the Grand Canal, and under the mellow moonlight the Venice of poetry +and romance stood revealed. Right from the water's edge rose long lines +of stately palaces of marble; gondolas were gliding swiftly hither and +thither and disappearing suddenly through unsuspected gates and alleys; +ponderous stone bridges threw their shadows athwart the glittering waves. +There was life and motion everywhere, and yet everywhere there was a +hush, a stealthy sort of stillness, that was suggestive of secret +enterprises of bravoes and of lovers; and clad half in moonbeams and half +in mysterious shadows, the grim old mansions of the Republic seemed to +have an expression about them of having an eye out for just such +enterprises as these at that same moment. Music came floating over the +waters--Venice was complete. + +<p>It was a beautiful picture--very soft and dreamy and beautiful. But what +was this Venice to compare with the Venice of midnight? Nothing. There +was a fete--a grand fete in honor of some saint who had been instrumental +in checking the cholera three hundred years ago, and all Venice was +abroad on the water. It was no common affair, for the Venetians did not +know how soon they might need the saint's services again, now that the +cholera was spreading every where. So in one vast space--say a third of +a mile wide and two miles long--were collected two thousand gondolas, and +every one of them had from two to ten, twenty and even thirty colored +lanterns suspended about it, and from four to a dozen occupants. Just as +far as the eye could reach, these painted lights were massed +together--like a vast garden of many-colored flowers, except that these blossoms +were never still; they were ceaselessly gliding in and out, and mingling +together, and seducing you into bewildering attempts to follow their mazy +evolutions. Here and there a strong red, green, or blue glare from a +rocket that was struggling to get away, splendidly illuminated all the +boats around it. Every gondola that swam by us, with its crescents and +pyramids and circles of colored lamps hung aloft, and lighting up the +faces of the young and the sweet-scented and lovely below, was a picture; +and the reflections of those lights, so long, so slender, so numberless, +so many-colored and so distorted and wrinkled by the waves, was a picture +likewise, and one that was enchantingly beautiful. Many and many a party +of young ladies and gentlemen had their state gondolas handsomely +decorated, and ate supper on board, bringing their swallow-tailed, +white-cravatted varlets to wait upon them, and having their tables tricked out +as if for a bridal supper. They had brought along the costly globe lamps +from their drawing-rooms, and the lace and silken curtains from the same +places, I suppose. And they had also brought pianos and guitars, and +they played and sang operas, while the plebeian paper-lanterned gondolas +from the suburbs and the back alleys crowded around to stare and listen. + +<p>There was music every where--choruses, string bands, brass bands, flutes, +every thing. I was so surrounded, walled in, with music, magnificence +and loveliness, that I became inspired with the spirit of the scene, and +sang one tune myself. However, when I observed that the other gondolas +had sailed away, and my gondolier was preparing to go overboard, I +stopped. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p220"></a><img alt="p220.jpg (21K)" src="images/p220.jpg" height="369" width="473"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>The fete was magnificent. They kept it up the whole night long, and I +never enjoyed myself better than I did while it lasted. + +<p>What a funny old city this Queen of the Adriatic is! Narrow streets, +vast, gloomy marble palaces, black with the corroding damps of centuries, +and all partly submerged; no dry land visible any where, and no sidewalks +worth mentioning; if you want to go to church, to the theatre, or to the +restaurant, you must call a gondola. It must be a paradise for cripples, +for verily a man has no use for legs here. + +<p>For a day or two the place looked so like an overflowed Arkansas town, +because of its currentless waters laving the very doorsteps of all the +houses, and the cluster of boats made fast under the windows, or skimming +in and out of the alleys and by-ways, that I could not get rid of the +impression that there was nothing the matter here but a spring freshet, +and that the river would fall in a few weeks and leave a dirty high-water +mark on the houses, and the streets full of mud and rubbish. + +<p>In the glare of day, there is little poetry about Venice, but under the +charitable moon her stained palaces are white again, their battered +sculptures are hidden in shadows, and the old city seems crowned once +more with the grandeur that was hers five hundred years ago. It is easy, +then, in fancy, to people these silent canals with plumed gallants and +fair ladies--with Shylocks in gaberdine and sandals, venturing loans upon +the rich argosies of Venetian commerce--with Othellos and Desdemonas, +with Iagos and Roderigos--with noble fleets and victorious legions +returning from the wars. In the treacherous sunlight we see Venice +decayed, forlorn, poverty-stricken, and commerceless--forgotten and +utterly insignificant. But in the moonlight, her fourteen centuries of +greatness fling their glories about her, and once more is she the +princeliest among the nations of the earth. +<br><br> + +<center> +<table summary=""> +<tr><td> +<br> + "There is a glorious city in the sea;<br> + The sea is in the broad, the narrow streets,<br> + Ebbing and flowing; and the salt-sea weed<br> + Clings to the marble of her palaces.<br> + No track of men, no footsteps to and fro,<br> + Lead to her gates! The path lies o'er the sea,<br> + Invisible: and from the land we went,<br> + As to a floating city--steering in,<br> + And gliding up her streets, as in a dream,<br> + So smoothly, silently--by many a dome,<br> + Mosque-like, and many a stately portico,<br> + The statues ranged along an azure sky;<br> + By many a pile, in more than Eastern pride,<br> + Of old the residence of merchant kings;<br> + The fronts of some, tho' time had shatter'd them,<br> + Still glowing with the richest hues of art,<br> + As tho' the wealth within them had run o'er."<br> +</td></tr> +</table> +</center> + +<p>What would one naturally wish to see first in Venice? The Bridge of +Sighs, of course--and next the Church and the Great Square of St. Mark, +the Bronze Horses, and the famous Lion of St. Mark. + +<p>We intended to go to the Bridge of Sighs, but happened into the Ducal +Palace first--a building which necessarily figures largely in Venetian +poetry and tradition. In the Senate Chamber of the ancient Republic we +wearied our eyes with staring at acres of historical paintings by +Tintoretto and Paul Veronese, but nothing struck us forcibly except the +one thing that strikes all strangers forcibly--a black square in the +midst of a gallery of portraits. In one long row, around the great hall, +were painted the portraits of the Doges of Venice (venerable fellows, +with flowing white beards, for of the three hundred Senators eligible to +the office, the oldest was usually chosen Doge,) and each had its +complimentary inscription attached--till you came to the place that +should have had Marino Faliero's picture in it, and that was blank and +black--blank, except that it bore a terse inscription, saying that the +conspirator had died for his crime. It seemed cruel to keep that +pitiless inscription still staring from the walls after the unhappy +wretch had been in his grave five hundred years. + +<p>At the head of the Giant's Staircase, where Marino Faliero was beheaded, +and where the Doges were crowned in ancient times, two small slits in the +stone wall were pointed out--two harmless, insignificant orifices that +would never attract a stranger's attention--yet these were the terrible +Lions' Mouths! The heads were gone (knocked off by the French during +their occupation of Venice,) but these were the throats, down which went +the anonymous accusation, thrust in secretly at dead of night by an +enemy, that doomed many an innocent man to walk the Bridge of Sighs and +descend into the dungeon which none entered and hoped to see the sun +again. This was in the old days when the Patricians alone governed +Venice--the common herd had no vote and no voice. There were one +thousand five hundred Patricians; from these, three hundred Senators were +chosen; from the Senators a Doge and a Council of Ten were selected, and +by secret ballot the Ten chose from their own number a Council of Three. +All these were Government spies, then, and every spy was under +surveillance himself--men spoke in whispers in Venice, and no man trusted +his neighbor--not always his own brother. No man knew who the Council of +Three were--not even the Senate, not even the Doge; the members of that +dread tribunal met at night in a chamber to themselves, masked, and robed +from head to foot in scarlet cloaks, and did not even know each other, +unless by voice. It was their duty to judge heinous political crimes, +and from their sentence there was no appeal. A nod to the executioner +was sufficient. The doomed man was marched down a hall and out at a +door-way into the covered Bridge of Sighs, through it and into the +dungeon and unto his death. At no time in his transit was he visible to +any save his conductor. If a man had an enemy in those old days, the +cleverest thing he could do was to slip a note for the Council of Three +into the Lion's mouth, saying "This man is plotting against the +Government." If the awful Three found no proof, ten to one they would +drown him anyhow, because he was a deep rascal, since his plots were +unsolvable. Masked judges and masked executioners, with unlimited power, +and no appeal from their judgements, in that hard, cruel age, were not +likely to be lenient with men they suspected yet could not convict. + +<p>We walked through the hall of the Council of Ten, and presently entered +the infernal den of the Council of Three. + +<p>The table around which they had sat was there still, and likewise the +stations where the masked inquisitors and executioners formerly stood, +frozen, upright and silent, till they received a bloody order, and then, +without a word, moved off like the inexorable machines they were, to +carry it out. The frescoes on the walls were startlingly suited to the +place. In all the other saloons, the halls, the great state chambers of +the palace, the walls and ceilings were bright with gilding, rich with +elaborate carving, and resplendent with gallant pictures of Venetian +victories in war, and Venetian display in foreign courts, and hallowed +with portraits of the Virgin, the Saviour of men, and the holy saints +that preached the Gospel of Peace upon earth--but here, in dismal +contrast, were none but pictures of death and dreadful suffering!--not a +living figure but was writhing in torture, not a dead one but was smeared +with blood, gashed with wounds, and distorted with the agonies that had +taken away its life! + +<p>From the palace to the gloomy prison is but a step--one might almost jump +across the narrow canal that intervenes. The ponderous stone Bridge of +Sighs crosses it at the second story--a bridge that is a covered +tunnel--you can not be seen when you walk in it. It is partitioned lengthwise, +and through one compartment walked such as bore light sentences in +ancient times, and through the other marched sadly the wretches whom the +Three had doomed to lingering misery and utter oblivion in the dungeons, +or to sudden and mysterious death. Down below the level of the water, by +the light of smoking torches, we were shown the damp, thick-walled cells +where many a proud patrician's life was eaten away by the long-drawn +miseries of solitary imprisonment--without light, air, books; naked, +unshaven, uncombed, covered with vermin; his useless tongue forgetting +its office, with none to speak to; the days and nights of his life no +longer marked, but merged into one eternal eventless night; far away from +all cheerful sounds, buried in the silence of a tomb; forgotten by his +helpless friends, and his fate a dark mystery to them forever; losing his +own memory at last, and knowing no more who he was or how he came there; +devouring the loaf of bread and drinking the water that were thrust into +the cell by unseen hands, and troubling his worn spirit no more with +hopes and fears and doubts and longings to be free; ceasing to scratch +vain prayers and complainings on walls where none, not even himself, +could see them, and resigning himself to hopeless apathy, driveling +childishness, lunacy! Many and many a sorrowful story like this these +stony walls could tell if they could but speak. + +<p>In a little narrow corridor, near by, they showed us where many a +prisoner, after lying in the dungeons until he was forgotten by all save +his persecutors, was brought by masked executioners and garroted, or +sewed up in a sack, passed through a little window to a boat, at dead of +night, and taken to some remote spot and drowned. + +<p>They used to show to visitors the implements of torture wherewith the +Three were wont to worm secrets out of the accused--villainous machines +for crushing thumbs; the stocks where a prisoner sat immovable while +water fell drop by drop upon his head till the torture was more than +humanity could bear; and a devilish contrivance of steel, which inclosed +a prisoner's head like a shell, and crushed it slowly by means of a +screw. It bore the stains of blood that had trickled through its joints +long ago, and on one side it had a projection whereon the torturer rested +his elbow comfortably and bent down his ear to catch the moanings of the +sufferer perishing within. + +<p>Of course we went to see the venerable relic of the ancient glory of +Venice, with its pavements worn and broken by the passing feet of a +thousand years of plebeians and patricians--The Cathedral of St. Mark. +It is built entirely of precious marbles, brought from the +Orient--nothing in its composition is domestic. Its hoary traditions make it an +object of absorbing interest to even the most careless stranger, and thus +far it had interest for me; but no further. I could not go into +ecstasies over its coarse mosaics, its unlovely Byzantine architecture, +or its five hundred curious interior columns from as many distant +quarries. Every thing was worn out--every block of stone was smooth and +almost shapeless with the polishing hands and shoulders of loungers who +devoutly idled here in by-gone centuries and have died and gone to the +dev--no, simply died, I mean. + +<p>Under the altar repose the ashes of St. Mark--and Matthew, Luke and John, +too, for all I know. Venice reveres those relics above all things +earthly. For fourteen hundred years St. Mark has been her patron saint. +Every thing about the city seems to be named after him or so named as to +refer to him in some way--so named, or some purchase rigged in some way +to scrape a sort of hurrahing acquaintance with him. That seems to be +the idea. To be on good terms with St. Mark, seems to be the very summit +of Venetian ambition. They say St. Mark had a tame lion, and used to +travel with him--and every where that St. Mark went, the lion was sure to +go. It was his protector, his friend, his librarian. And so the Winged +Lion of St. Mark, with the open Bible under his paw, is a favorite emblem +in the grand old city. It casts its shadow from the most ancient pillar +in Venice, in the Grand Square of St. Mark, upon the throngs of free +citizens below, and has so done for many a long century. The winged lion +is found every where--and doubtless here, where the winged lion is, no +harm can come. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p226"></a><img alt="p226.jpg (25K)" src="images/p226.jpg" height="453" width="413"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>St. Mark died at Alexandria, in Egypt. He was martyred, I think. +However, that has nothing to do with my legend. About the founding of +the city of Venice--say four hundred and fifty years after Christ--(for +Venice is much younger than any other Italian city,) a priest dreamed +that an angel told him that until the remains of St. Mark were brought to +Venice, the city could never rise to high distinction among the nations; +that the body must be captured, brought to the city, and a magnificent +church built over it; and that if ever the Venetians allowed the Saint to +be removed from his new resting-place, in that day Venice would perish +from off the face of the earth. The priest proclaimed his dream, and +forthwith Venice set about procuring the corpse of St. Mark. One +expedition after another tried and failed, but the project was never +abandoned during four hundred years. At last it was secured by +stratagem, in the year eight hundred and something. The commander of a +Venetian expedition disguised himself, stole the bones, separated them, +and packed them in vessels filled with lard. The religion of Mahomet +causes its devotees to abhor anything that is in the nature of pork, and +so when the Christian was stopped by the officers at the gates of the +city, they only glanced once into his precious baskets, then turned up +their noses at the unholy lard, and let him go. The bones were buried in +the vaults of the grand cathedral, which had been waiting long years to +receive them, and thus the safety and the greatness of Venice were +secured. And to this day there be those in Venice who believe that if +those holy ashes were stolen away, the ancient city would vanish like a +dream, and its foundations be buried forever in the unremembering sea. + + + +<br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="ch23"></a>CHAPTER XXIII. +</h2> +<p>The Venetian gondola is as free and graceful, in its gliding movement, as +a serpent. It is twenty or thirty feet long, and is narrow and deep, +like a canoe; its sharp bow and stern sweep upward from the water like +the horns of a crescent with the abruptness of the curve slightly +modified. + +<p>The bow is ornamented with a steel comb with a battle-ax attachment which +threatens to cut passing boats in two occasionally, but never does. The +gondola is painted black because in the zenith of Venetian magnificence +the gondolas became too gorgeous altogether, and the Senate decreed that +all such display must cease, and a solemn, unembellished black be +substituted. If the truth were known, it would doubtless appear that +rich plebeians grew too prominent in their affectation of patrician show +on the Grand Canal, and required a wholesome snubbing. Reverence for the +hallowed Past and its traditions keeps the dismal fashion in force now +that the compulsion exists no longer. So let it remain. It is the color +of mourning. Venice mourns. The stern of the boat is decked over and +the gondolier stands there. He uses a single oar--a long blade, of +course, for he stands nearly erect. A wooden peg, a foot and a half +high, with two slight crooks or curves in one side of it and one in the +other, projects above the starboard gunwale. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p229"></a><img alt="p229.jpg (2K)" src="images/p229.jpg" height="201" width="113"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>Against that peg the +gondolier takes a purchase with his oar, changing it at intervals to the +other side of the peg or dropping it into another of the crooks, as the +steering of the craft may demand--and how in the world he can back and +fill, shoot straight ahead, or flirt suddenly around a corner, and make +the oar stay in those insignificant notches, is a problem to me and a +never diminishing matter of interest. I am afraid I study the +gondolier's marvelous skill more than I do the sculptured palaces we +glide among. He cuts a corner so closely, now and then, or misses +another gondola by such an imperceptible hair-breadth that I feel myself +"scrooching," as the children say, just as one does when a buggy wheel +grazes his elbow. But he makes all his calculations with the nicest +precision, and goes darting in and out among a Broadway confusion of busy +craft with the easy confidence of the educated hackman. He never makes a +mistake. + +<p>Sometimes we go flying down the great canals at such a gait that we can +get only the merest glimpses into front doors, and again, in obscure +alleys in the suburbs, we put on a solemnity suited to the silence, the +mildew, the stagnant waters, the clinging weeds, the deserted houses and +the general lifelessness of the place, and move to the spirit of grave +meditation. + +<p>The gondolier is a picturesque rascal for all he wears no satin harness, +no plumed bonnet, no silken tights. His attitude is stately; he is lithe +and supple; all his movements are full of grace. When his long canoe, +and his fine figure, towering from its high perch on the stern, are cut +against the evening sky, they make a picture that is very novel and +striking to a foreign eye. + +<p>We sit in the cushioned carriage-body of a cabin, with the curtains +drawn, and smoke, or read, or look out upon the passing boats, the +houses, the bridges, the people, and enjoy ourselves much more than we +could in a buggy jolting over our cobble-stone pavements at home. This +is the gentlest, pleasantest locomotion we have ever known. + +<p>But it seems queer--ever so queer--to see a boat doing duty as a private +carriage. We see business men come to the front door, step into a +gondola, instead of a street car, and go off down town to the +counting-room. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p230"></a><img alt="p230.jpg (58K)" src="images/p230.jpg" height="655" width="577"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>We see visiting young ladies stand on the stoop, and laugh, and kiss +good-bye, and flirt their fans and say "Come soon--now do--you've been +just as mean as ever you can be--mother's dying to see you--and we've +moved into the new house, O such a love of a place!--so convenient to the +post office and the church, and the Young Men's Christian Association; +and we do have such fishing, and such carrying on, and such +swimming-matches in the back yard--Oh, you must come--no distance at all, and if +you go down through by St. Mark's and the Bridge of Sighs, and cut +through the alley and come up by the church of Santa Maria dei Frari, and +into the Grand Canal, there isn't a bit of current--now do come, Sally +Maria--by-bye!" and then the little humbug trips down the steps, jumps +into the gondola, says, under her breath, "Disagreeable old thing, I hope +she won't!" goes skimming away, round the corner; and the other girl +slams the street door and says, "Well, that infliction's over, any +way,--but I suppose I've got to go and see her--tiresome stuck-up thing!" +Human nature appears to be just the same, all over the world. We see the +diffident young man, mild of moustache, affluent of hair, indigent of +brain, elegant of costume, drive up to her father's mansion, tell his +hackman to bail out and wait, start fearfully up the steps and meet "the +old gentleman" right on the threshold!--hear him ask what street the new +British Bank is in--as if that were what he came for--and then bounce +into his boat and skurry away with his coward heart in his boots!--see +him come sneaking around the corner again, directly, with a crack of the +curtain open toward the old gentleman's disappearing gondola, and out +scampers his Susan with a flock of little Italian endearments fluttering +from her lips, and goes to drive with him in the watery avenues down +toward the Rialto. + +<p>We see the ladies go out shopping, in the most natural way, and flit from +street to street and from store to store, just in the good old fashion, +except that they leave the gondola, instead of a private carriage, +waiting at the curbstone a couple of hours for them,--waiting while they +make the nice young clerks pull down tons and tons of silks and velvets +and moire antiques and those things; and then they buy a paper of pins +and go paddling away to confer the rest of their disastrous patronage on +some other firm. And they always have their purchases sent home just in +the good old way. Human nature is very much the same all over the world; +and it is so like my dear native home to see a Venetian lady go into a +store and buy ten cents' worth of blue ribbon and have it sent home in a +scow. Ah, it is these little touches of nature that move one to tears in +these far-off foreign lands. + +<p>We see little girls and boys go out in gondolas with their nurses, for an +airing. We see staid families, with prayer-book and beads, enter the +gondola dressed in their Sunday best, and float away to church. And at +midnight we see the theatre break up and discharge its swarm of hilarious +youth and beauty; we hear the cries of the hackman-gondoliers, and behold +the struggling crowd jump aboard, and the black multitude of boats go +skimming down the moonlit avenues; we see them separate here and there, +and disappear up divergent streets; we hear the faint sounds of laughter +and of shouted farewells floating up out of the distance; and then, the +strange pageant being gone, we have lonely stretches of glittering +water--of stately buildings--of blotting shadows--of weird stone faces +creeping into the moonlight--of deserted bridges--of motionless boats at +anchor. And over all broods that mysterious stillness, that stealthy +quiet, that befits so well this old dreaming Venice. + +<p>We have been pretty much every where in our gondola. We have bought +beads and photographs in the stores, and wax matches in the Great Square +of St. Mark. The last remark suggests a digression. Every body goes to +this vast square in the evening. The military bands play in the centre +of it and countless couples of ladies and gentlemen promenade up and down +on either side, and platoons of them are constantly drifting away toward +the old Cathedral, and by the venerable column with the Winged Lion of +St. Mark on its top, and out to where the boats lie moored; and other +platoons are as constantly arriving from the gondolas and joining the +great throng. Between the promenaders and the side-walks are seated +hundreds and hundreds of people at small tables, smoking and taking +granita, (a first cousin to ice-cream;) on the side-walks are more +employing themselves in the same way. The shops in the first floor of +the tall rows of buildings that wall in three sides of the square are +brilliantly lighted, the air is filled with music and merry voices, and +altogether the scene is as bright and spirited and full of cheerfulness +as any man could desire. We enjoy it thoroughly. Very many of the young +women are exceedingly pretty and dress with rare good taste. We are +gradually and laboriously learning the ill-manners of staring them +unflinchingly in the face--not because such conduct is agreeable to us, +but because it is the custom of the country and they say the girls like +it. We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the +different countries, so that we can "show off" and astonish people when +we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with +our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off. All our +passengers are paying strict attention to this thing, with the end in +view which I have mentioned. The gentle reader will never, never know +what a consummate ass he can become, until he goes abroad. I speak now, +of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, +and therefore is not already a consummate ass. If the case be otherwise, +I beg his pardon and extend to him the cordial hand of fellowship and +call him brother. I shall always delight to meet an ass after my own +heart when I shall have finished my travels. + +<p>On this subject let me remark that there are Americans abroad in Italy +who have actually forgotten their mother tongue in three months--forgot +it in France. They can not even write their address in English in a +hotel register. I append these evidences, which I copied verbatim from +the register of a hotel in a certain Italian city: +<br> +<br> +<center> +<table summary=""> +<tr><td> + + + + "John P. Whitcomb, Etats Unis. <br> + "Wm. L. Ainsworth, travailleur (he meant traveler, I suppose,) Etats Unis. <br> + "George P. Morton et fils, d'Amerique. <br> + "Lloyd B. Williams, et trois amis, ville de Boston, Amerique. <br> + "J. Ellsworth Baker, tout de suite de France, place de naissance Amerique, <br> + destination la Grand Bretagne."<br> + +</td></tr> +</table> +</center> + +<p>I love this sort of people. A lady passenger of ours tells of a +fellow-citizen of hers who spent eight weeks in Paris and then returned home and +addressed his dearest old bosom friend Herbert as Mr. "Er-bare!" He +apologized, though, and said, "'Pon my soul it is aggravating, but I +cahn't help it--I have got so used to speaking nothing but French, my +dear Erbare--damme there it goes again!--got so used to French +pronunciation that I cahn't get rid of it--it is positively annoying, I +assure you." This entertaining idiot, whose name was Gordon, allowed +himself to be hailed three times in the street before he paid any +attention, and then begged a thousand pardons and said he had grown so +accustomed to hearing himself addressed as "M'sieu Gor-r-dong," with a +roll to the r, that he had forgotten the legitimate sound of his name! +He wore a rose in his button-hole; he gave the French salutation--two +flips of the hand in front of the face; he called Paris Pairree in +ordinary English conversation; he carried envelopes bearing foreign +postmarks protruding from his breast-pocket; he cultivated a moustache +and imperial, and did what else he could to suggest to the beholder his +pet fancy that he resembled Louis Napoleon--and in a spirit of +thankfulness which is entirely unaccountable, considering the slim +foundation there was for it, he praised his Maker that he was as he was, +and went on enjoying his little life just the same as if he really had +been deliberately designed and erected by the great Architect of the +Universe. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p234"></a><img alt="p234.jpg (11K)" src="images/p234.jpg" height="433" width="193"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>Think of our Whitcombs, and our Ainsworths and our Williamses writing +themselves down in dilapidated French in foreign hotel registers! We +laugh at Englishmen, when we are at home, for sticking so sturdily to +their national ways and customs, but we look back upon it from abroad +very forgivingly. It is not pleasant to see an American thrusting his +nationality forward obtrusively in a foreign land, but Oh, it is pitiable +to see him making of himself a thing that is neither male nor female, +neither fish, flesh, nor fowl--a poor, miserable, hermaphrodite +Frenchman! + +<p>Among a long list of churches, art galleries, and such things, visited by +us in Venice, I shall mention only one--the church of Santa Maria dei +Frari. It is about five hundred years old, I believe, and stands on +twelve hundred thousand piles. In it lie the body of Canova and the +heart of Titian, under magnificent monuments. Titian died at the age of +almost one hundred years. A plague which swept away fifty thousand lives +was raging at the time, and there is notable evidence of the reverence in +which the great painter was held, in the fact that to him alone the state +permitted a public funeral in all that season of terror and death. + +<p>In this church, also, is a monument to the doge Foscari, whose name a +once resident of Venice, Lord Byron, has made permanently famous. + +<p>The monument to the doge Giovanni Pesaro, in this church, is a curiosity +in the way of mortuary adornment. It is eighty feet high and is fronted +like some fantastic pagan temple. Against it stand four colossal +Nubians, as black as night, dressed in white marble garments. The black +legs are bare, and through rents in sleeves and breeches, the skin, of +shiny black marble, shows. The artist was as ingenious as his funeral +designs were absurd. There are two bronze skeletons bearing scrolls, and +two great dragons uphold the sarcophagus. On high, amid all this +grotesqueness, sits the departed doge. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p236"></a><img alt="p236.jpg (25K)" src="images/p236.jpg" height="541" width="299"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>In the conventual buildings attached to this church are the state +archives of Venice. We did not see them, but they are said to number +millions of documents. "They are the records of centuries of the most +watchful, observant and suspicious government that ever existed--in which +every thing was written down and nothing spoken out." They fill nearly +three hundred rooms. Among them are manuscripts from the archives of +nearly two thousand families, monasteries and convents. The secret +history of Venice for a thousand years is here--its plots, its hidden +trials, its assassinations, its commissions of hireling spies and masked +bravoes--food, ready to hand, for a world of dark and mysterious +romances. + +<p>Yes, I think we have seen all of Venice. We have seen, in these old +churches, a profusion of costly and elaborate sepulchre ornamentation +such as we never dreampt of before. We have stood in the dim religious +light of these hoary sanctuaries, in the midst of long ranks of dusty +monuments and effigies of the great dead of Venice, until we seemed +drifting back, back, back, into the solemn past, and looking upon the +scenes and mingling with the peoples of a remote antiquity. We have been +in a half-waking sort of dream all the time. I do not know how else to +describe the feeling. A part of our being has remained still in the +nineteenth century, while another part of it has seemed in some +unaccountable way walking among the phantoms of the tenth. + +<p>We have seen famous pictures until our eyes are weary with looking at +them and refuse to find interest in them any longer. And what wonder, +when there are twelve hundred pictures by Palma the Younger in Venice and +fifteen hundred by Tintoretto? And behold there are Titians and the +works of other artists in proportion. We have seen Titian's celebrated +Cain and Abel, his David and Goliah, his Abraham's Sacrifice. We have +seen Tintoretto's monster picture, which is seventy-four feet long and I +do not know how many feet high, and thought it a very commodious picture. +We have seen pictures of martyrs enough, and saints enough, to regenerate +the world. I ought not to confess it, but still, since one has no +opportunity in America to acquire a critical judgment in art, and since I +could not hope to become educated in it in Europe in a few short weeks, I +may therefore as well acknowledge with such apologies as may be due, that +to me it seemed that when I had seen one of these martyrs I had seen them +all. They all have a marked family resemblance to each other, they dress +alike, in coarse monkish robes and sandals, they are all bald headed, +they all stand in about the same attitude, and without exception they are +gazing heavenward with countenances which the Ainsworths, the Mortons and +the Williamses, et fils, inform me are full of "expression." To me there +is nothing tangible about these imaginary portraits, nothing that I can +grasp and take a living interest in. If great Titian had only been +gifted with prophecy, and had skipped a martyr, and gone over to England +and painted a portrait of Shakspeare, even as a youth, which we could all +have confidence in now, the world down to the latest generations would +have forgiven him the lost martyr in the rescued seer. I think posterity +could have spared one more martyr for the sake of a great historical +picture of Titian's time and painted by his brush--such as Columbus +returning in chains from the discovery of a world, for instance. The old +masters did paint some Venetian historical pictures, and these we did not +tire of looking at, notwithstanding representations of the formal +introduction of defunct doges to the Virgin Mary in regions beyond the +clouds clashed rather harshly with the proprieties, it seemed to us. + +<p>But humble as we are, and unpretending, in the matter of art, our +researches among the painted monks and martyrs have not been wholly in +vain. We have striven hard to learn. We have had some success. We have +mastered some things, possibly of trifling import in the eyes of the +learned, but to us they give pleasure, and we take as much pride in our +little acquirements as do others who have learned far more, and we love +to display them full as well. When we see a monk going about with a lion +and looking tranquilly up to heaven, we know that that is St. Mark. When +we see a monk with a book and a pen, looking tranquilly up to heaven, +trying to think of a word, we know that that is St. Matthew. When we see +a monk sitting on a rock, looking tranquilly up to heaven, with a human +skull beside him, and without other baggage, we know that that is St. +Jerome. Because we know that he always went flying light in the matter +of baggage. When we see a party looking tranquilly up to heaven, +unconscious that his body is shot through and through with arrows, we +know that that is St. Sebastian. When we see other monks looking +tranquilly up to heaven, but having no trade-mark, we always ask who +those parties are. We do this because we humbly wish to learn. We have +seen thirteen thousand St. Jeromes, and twenty-two thousand St. Marks, +and sixteen thousand St. Matthews, and sixty thousand St. Sebastians, and +four millions of assorted monks, undesignated, and we feel encouraged to +believe that when we have seen some more of these various pictures, and +had a larger experience, we shall begin to take an absorbing interest in +them like our cultivated countrymen from Amerique. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p238"></a><img alt="p238.jpg (36K)" src="images/p238.jpg" height="951" width="321"> +</center> +<br> + + +<center><a name="p239"></a><img alt="p239.jpg (23K)" src="images/p239.jpg" height="689" width="291"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>Now it does give me real pain to speak in this almost unappreciative way +of the old masters and their martyrs, because good friends of mine in the +ship--friends who do thoroughly and conscientiously appreciate them and +are in every way competent to discriminate between good pictures and +inferior ones--have urged me for my own sake not to make public the fact +that I lack this appreciation and this critical discrimination myself. I +believe that what I have written and may still write about pictures will +give them pain, and I am honestly sorry for it. I even promised that I +would hide my uncouth sentiments in my own breast. But alas! I never +could keep a promise. I do not blame myself for this weakness, because +the fault must lie in my physical organization. It is likely that such a +very liberal amount of space was given to the organ which enables me to +make promises, that the organ which should enable me to keep them was +crowded out. But I grieve not. I like no half-way things. I had rather +have one faculty nobly developed than two faculties of mere ordinary +capacity. I certainly meant to keep that promise, but I find I can not +do it. It is impossible to travel through Italy without speaking of +pictures, and can I see them through others' eyes? + +<p>If I did not so delight in the grand pictures that are spread before me +every day of my life by that monarch of all the old masters, Nature, I +should come to believe, sometimes, that I had in me no appreciation of +the beautiful, whatsoever. + +<p>It seems to me that whenever I glory to think that for once I have +discovered an ancient painting that is beautiful and worthy of all +praise, the pleasure it gives me is an infallible proof that it is not a +beautiful picture and not in any wise worthy of commendation. This very +thing has occurred more times than I can mention, in Venice. In every +single instance the guide has crushed out my swelling enthusiasm with the +remark: + +<p>"It is nothing--it is of the Renaissance." + +<p>I did not know what in the mischief the Renaissance was, and so always I +had to simply say, + +<p>"Ah! so it is--I had not observed it before." + +<p>I could not bear to be ignorant before a cultivated negro, the offspring +of a South Carolina slave. But it occurred too often for even my +self-complacency, did that exasperating "It is nothing--it is of the +Renaissance." I said at last: + +<p>"Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him +permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs?" + +<p>We learned, then, that Renaissance was not a man; that renaissance was a +term used to signify what was at best but an imperfect rejuvenation of +art. The guide said that after Titian's time and the time of the other +great names we had grown so familiar with, high art declined; then it +partially rose again--an inferior sort of painters sprang up, and these +shabby pictures were the work of their hands. Then I said, in my heat, +that I "wished to goodness high art had declined five hundred years +sooner." The Renaissance pictures suit me very well, though sooth to say +its school were too much given to painting real men and did not indulge +enough in martyrs. + +<p>The guide I have spoken of is the only one we have had yet who knew any +thing. He was born in South Carolina, of slave parents. They came to +Venice while he was an infant. He has grown up here. He is well +educated. He reads, writes, and speaks English, Italian, Spanish, and +French, with perfect facility; is a worshipper of art and thoroughly +conversant with it; knows the history of Venice by heart and never tires +of talking of her illustrious career. He dresses better than any of us, +I think, and is daintily polite. Negroes are deemed as good as white +people, in Venice, and so this man feels no desire to go back to his +native land. His judgment is correct. + +<p>I have had another shave. I was writing in our front room this afternoon +and trying hard to keep my attention on my work and refrain from looking +out upon the canal. I was resisting the soft influences of the climate +as well as I could, and endeavoring to overcome the desire to be indolent +and happy. The boys sent for a barber. They asked me if I would be +shaved. I reminded them of my tortures in Genoa, Milan, Como; of my +declaration that I would suffer no more on Italian soil. I said "Not any +for me, if you please." + +<p>I wrote on. The barber began on the doctor. I heard him say: + +<p>"Dan, this is the easiest shave I have had since we left the ship." + +<p>He said again, presently: + +<p>"Why Dan, a man could go to sleep with this man shaving him." + +<p>Dan took the chair. Then he said: + +<p>"Why this is Titian. This is one of the old masters." + +<p>I wrote on. Directly Dan said: + +<p>"Doctor, it is perfect luxury. The ship's barber isn't any thing to +him." + +<p>My rough beard was distressing me beyond measure. The barber was rolling +up his apparatus. The temptation was too strong. I said: + +<p>"Hold on, please. Shave me also." + +<p>I sat down in the chair and closed my eyes. The barber soaped my face, +and then took his razor and gave me a rake that well nigh threw me into +convulsions. I jumped out of the chair: Dan and the doctor were both +wiping blood off their faces and laughing. + +<p>I said it was a mean, disgraceful fraud. + +<p>They said that the misery of this shave had gone so far beyond any thing +they had ever experienced before, that they could not bear the idea of +losing such a chance of hearing a cordial opinion from me on the subject. + +<p>It was shameful. But there was no help for it. The skinning was begun +and had to be finished. The tears flowed with every rake, and so did the +fervent execrations. The barber grew confused, and brought blood every +time. I think the boys enjoyed it better than any thing they have seen +or heard since they left home. + +<p>We have seen the Campanile, and Byron's house and Balbi's the geographer, +and the palaces of all the ancient dukes and doges of Venice, and we have +seen their effeminate descendants airing their nobility in fashionable +French attire in the Grand Square of St. Mark, and eating ices and +drinking cheap wines, instead of wearing gallant coats of mail and +destroying fleets and armies as their great ancestors did in the days of +Venetian glory. We have seen no bravoes with poisoned stilettos, no +masks, no wild carnival; but we have seen the ancient pride of Venice, +the grim Bronze Horses that figure in a thousand legends. Venice may +well cherish them, for they are the only horses she ever had. It is said +there are hundreds of people in this curious city who never have seen a +living horse in their lives. It is entirely true, no doubt. + +<p>And so, having satisfied ourselves, we depart to-morrow, and leave the +venerable Queen of the Republics to summon her vanished ships, and +marshal her shadowy armies, and know again in dreams the pride of her old +renown. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p241"></a><img alt="p241.jpg (69K)" src="images/p241.jpg" height="903" width="445"> +</center> + + + +<br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="ch24"></a>CHAPTER XIV. +</h2> +<p>Some of the Quaker City's passengers had arrived in Venice from +Switzerland and other lands before we left there, and others were +expected every day. We heard of no casualties among them, and no +sickness. + +<p>We were a little fatigued with sight seeing, and so we rattled through a +good deal of country by rail without caring to stop. I took few notes. +I find no mention of Bologna in my memorandum book, except that we +arrived there in good season, but saw none of the sausages for which the +place is so justly celebrated. + +<p>Pistoia awoke but a passing interest. + +<p>Florence pleased us for a while. I think we appreciated the great figure +of David in the grand square, and the sculptured group they call the Rape +of the Sabines. We wandered through the endless collections of paintings +and statues of the Pitti and Ufizzi galleries, of course. I make that +statement in self-defense; there let it stop. I could not rest under the +imputation that I visited Florence and did not traverse its weary miles +of picture galleries. We tried indolently to recollect something about +the Guelphs and Ghibelines and the other historical cut-throats whose +quarrels and assassinations make up so large a share of Florentine +history, but the subject was not attractive. We had been robbed of all +the fine mountain scenery on our little journey by a system of +railroading that had three miles of tunnel to a hundred yards of +daylight, and we were not inclined to be sociable with Florence. We had +seen the spot, outside the city somewhere, where these people had allowed +the bones of Galileo to rest in unconsecrated ground for an age because +his great discovery that the world turned around was regarded as a +damning heresy by the church; and we know that long after the world had +accepted his theory and raised his name high in the list of its great +men, they had still let him rot there. That we had lived to see his dust +in honored sepulture in the church of Santa Croce we owed to a society of +literati, and not to Florence or her rulers. We saw Dante's tomb in that +church, also, but we were glad to know that his body was not in it; that +the ungrateful city that had exiled him and persecuted him would give +much to have it there, but need not hope to ever secure that high honor +to herself. Medicis are good enough for Florence. Let her plant Medicis +and build grand monuments over them to testify how gratefully she was +wont to lick the hand that scourged her. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p245"></a><img alt="p245.jpg (21K)" src="images/p245.jpg" height="391" width="399"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>Magnanimous Florence! Her jewelry marts are filled with artists in +mosaic. Florentine mosaics are the choicest in all the world. Florence +loves to have that said. Florence is proud of it. Florence would foster +this specialty of hers. She is grateful to the artists that bring to her +this high credit and fill her coffers with foreign money, and so she +encourages them with pensions. With pensions! Think of the lavishness +of it. She knows that people who piece together the beautiful trifles +die early, because the labor is so confining, and so exhausting to hand +and brain, and so she has decreed that all these people who reach the age +of sixty shall have a pension after that! I have not heard that any of +them have called for their dividends yet. One man did fight along till +he was sixty, and started after his pension, but it appeared that there +had been a mistake of a year in his family record, and so he gave it up +and died. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p246"></a><img alt="p246.jpg (16K)" src="images/p246.jpg" height="427" width="289"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>These artists will take particles of stone or glass no larger than a +mustard seed, and piece them together on a sleeve button or a shirt stud, +so smoothly and with such nice adjustment of the delicate shades of color +the pieces bear, as to form a pigmy rose with stem, thorn, leaves, petals +complete, and all as softly and as truthfully tinted as though Nature had +builded it herself. They will counterfeit a fly, or a high-toned bug, or +the ruined Coliseum, within the cramped circle of a breastpin, and do it +so deftly and so neatly that any man might think a master painted it. + +<p>I saw a little table in the great mosaic school in Florence--a little +trifle of a centre table--whose top was made of some sort of precious +polished stone, and in the stone was inlaid the figure of a flute, with +bell-mouth and a mazy complication of keys. No painting in the world +could have been softer or richer; no shading out of one tint into another +could have been more perfect; no work of art of any kind could have been +more faultless than this flute, and yet to count the multitude of little +fragments of stone of which they swore it was formed would bankrupt any +man's arithmetic! I do not think one could have seen where two particles +joined each other with eyes of ordinary shrewdness. Certainly we could +detect no such blemish. This table-top cost the labor of one man for ten +long years, so they said, and it was for sale for thirty-five thousand +dollars. + +<p>We went to the Church of Santa Croce, from time to time, in Florence, to +weep over the tombs of Michael Angelo, Raphael and Machiavelli, +(I suppose they are buried there, but it may be that they reside +elsewhere and rent their tombs to other parties--such being the fashion +in Italy,) and between times we used to go and stand on the bridges and +admire the Arno. It is popular to admire the Arno. It is a great +historical creek with four feet in the channel and some scows floating +around. It would be a very plausible river if they would pump some water +into it. They all call it a river, and they honestly think it is a +river, do these dark and bloody Florentines. They even help out the +delusion by building bridges over it. I do not see why they are too good +to wade. + +<p>How the fatigues and annoyances of travel fill one with bitter prejudices +sometimes! I might enter Florence under happier auspices a month hence +and find it all beautiful, all attractive. But I do not care to think of +it now, at all, nor of its roomy shops filled to the ceiling with snowy +marble and alabaster copies of all the celebrated sculptures in +Europe--copies so enchanting to the eye that I wonder how they can really be +shaped like the dingy petrified nightmares they are the portraits of. I +got lost in Florence at nine o'clock, one night, and staid lost in that +labyrinth of narrow streets and long rows of vast buildings that look all +alike, until toward three o'clock in the morning. It was a pleasant +night and at first there were a good many people abroad, and there were +cheerful lights about. Later, I grew accustomed to prowling about +mysterious drifts and tunnels and astonishing and interesting myself with +coming around corners expecting to find the hotel staring me in the face, +and not finding it doing any thing of the kind. Later still, I felt +tired. I soon felt remarkably tired. But there was no one abroad, +now--not even a policeman. I walked till I was out of all patience, and very +hot and thirsty. At last, somewhere after one o'clock, I came +unexpectedly to one of the city gates. I knew then that I was very far +from the hotel. The soldiers thought I wanted to leave the city, and +they sprang up and barred the way with their muskets. I said: + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p248"></a><img alt="p248.jpg (39K)" src="images/p248.jpg" height="455" width="501"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>"Hotel d'Europe!" + +<p>It was all the Italian I knew, and I was not certain whether that was +Italian or French. The soldiers looked stupidly at each other and at me, +and shook their heads and took me into custody. I said I wanted to go +home. They did not understand me. They took me into the guard-house and +searched me, but they found no sedition on me. They found a small piece +of soap (we carry soap with us, now,) and I made them a present of it, +seeing that they regarded it as a curiosity. I continued to say Hotel +d'Europe, and they continued to shake their heads, until at last a young +soldier nodding in the corner roused up and said something. He said he +knew where the hotel was, I suppose, for the officer of the guard sent +him away with me. We walked a hundred or a hundred and fifty miles, it +appeared to me, and then he got lost. He turned this way and that, and +finally gave it up and signified that he was going to spend the remainder +of the morning trying to find the city gate again. At that moment it +struck me that there was something familiar about the house over the way. +It was the hotel! + +<p>It was a happy thing for me that there happened to be a soldier there +that knew even as much as he did; for they say that the policy of the +government is to change the soldiery from one place to another constantly +and from country to city, so that they can not become acquainted with the +people and grow lax in their duties and enter into plots and conspiracies +with friends. My experiences of Florence were chiefly unpleasant. I +will change the subject. + +<p>At Pisa we climbed up to the top of the strangest structure the world has +any knowledge of--the Leaning Tower. As every one knows, it is in the +neighborhood of one hundred and eighty feet high--and I beg to observe +that one hundred and eighty feet reach to about the hight of four +ordinary three-story buildings piled one on top of the other, and is a +very considerable altitude for a tower of uniform thickness to aspire to, +even when it stands upright--yet this one leans more than thirteen feet +out of the perpendicular. It is seven hundred years old, but neither +history or tradition say whether it was built as it is, purposely, or +whether one of its sides has settled. There is no record that it ever +stood straight up. It is built of marble. It is an airy and a beautiful +structure, and each of its eight stories is encircled by fluted columns, +some of marble and some of granite, with Corinthian capitals that were +handsome when they were new. It is a bell tower, and in its top hangs a +chime of ancient bells. The winding staircase within is dark, but one +always knows which side of the tower he is on because of his naturally +gravitating from one side to the other of the staircase with the rise or +dip of the tower. Some of the stone steps are foot-worn only on one end; +others only on the other end; others only in the middle. To look down +into the tower from the top is like looking down into a tilted well. A +rope that hangs from the centre of the top touches the wall before it +reaches the bottom. Standing on the summit, one does not feel altogether +comfortable when he looks down from the high side; but to crawl on your +breast to the verge on the lower side and try to stretch your neck out +far enough to see the base of the tower, makes your flesh creep, and +convinces you for a single moment in spite of all your philosophy, that +the building is falling. You handle yourself very carefully, all the +time, under the silly impression that if it is not falling, your trifling +weight will start it unless you are particular not to "bear down" on it. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p250"></a><img alt="p250.jpg (35K)" src="images/p250.jpg" height="565" width="419"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>The Duomo, close at hand, is one of the finest cathedrals in Europe. It +is eight hundred years old. Its grandeur has outlived the high +commercial prosperity and the political importance that made it a +necessity, or rather a possibility. Surrounded by poverty, decay and +ruin, it conveys to us a more tangible impression of the former greatness +of Pisa than books could give us. + +<p>The Baptistery, which is a few years older than the Leaning Tower, is a +stately rotunda, of huge dimensions, and was a costly structure. In it +hangs the lamp whose measured swing suggested to Galileo the pendulum. +It looked an insignificant thing to have conferred upon the world of +science and mechanics such a mighty extension of their dominions as it +has. Pondering, in its suggestive presence, I seemed to see a crazy +universe of swinging disks, the toiling children of this sedate parent. +He appeared to have an intelligent expression about him of knowing that +he was not a lamp at all; that he was a Pendulum; a pendulum disguised, +for prodigious and inscrutable purposes of his own deep devising, and not +a common pendulum either, but the old original patriarchal Pendulum--the +Abraham Pendulum of the world. + +<p>This Baptistery is endowed with the most pleasing echo of all the echoes +we have read of. The guide sounded two sonorous notes, about half an +octave apart; the echo answered with the most enchanting, the most +melodious, the richest blending of sweet sounds that one can imagine. It +was like a long-drawn chord of a church organ, infinitely softened by +distance. I may be extravagant in this matter, but if this be the case +my ear is to blame--not my pen. I am describing a memory--and one that +will remain long with me. + +<p>The peculiar devotional spirit of the olden time, which placed a higher +confidence in outward forms of worship than in the watchful guarding of +the heart against sinful thoughts and the hands against sinful deeds, and +which believed in the protecting virtues of inanimate objects made holy +by contact with holy things, is illustrated in a striking manner in one +of the cemeteries of Pisa. The tombs are set in soil brought in ships +from the Holy Land ages ago. To be buried in such ground was regarded by +the ancient Pisans as being more potent for salvation than many masses +purchased of the church and the vowing of many candles to the Virgin. + +<p>Pisa is believed to be about three thousand years old. It was one of the +twelve great cities of ancient Etruria, that commonwealth which has left +so many monuments in testimony of its extraordinary advancement, and so +little history of itself that is tangible and comprehensible. A Pisan +antiquarian gave me an ancient tear-jug which he averred was full four +thousand years old. It was found among the ruins of one of the oldest of +the Etruscan cities. He said it came from a tomb, and was used by some +bereaved family in that remote age when even the Pyramids of Egypt were +young, Damascus a village, Abraham a prattling infant and ancient Troy +not yet [dreampt] of, to receive the tears wept for some lost idol of a +household. It spoke to us in a language of its own; and with a pathos +more tender than any words might bring, its mute eloquence swept down the +long roll of the centuries with its tale of a vacant chair, a familiar +footstep missed from the threshold, a pleasant voice gone from the +chorus, a vanished form!--a tale which is always so new to us, so +startling, so terrible, so benumbing to the senses, and behold how +threadbare and old it is! No shrewdly-worded history could have brought +the myths and shadows of that old dreamy age before us clothed with human +flesh and warmed with human sympathies so vividly as did this poor little +unsentient vessel of pottery. + +<p>Pisa was a republic in the middle ages, with a government of her own, +armies and navies of her own and a great commerce. She was a warlike +power, and inscribed upon her banners many a brilliant fight with Genoese +and Turks. It is said that the city once numbered a population of four +hundred thousand; but her sceptre has passed from her grasp, now, her +ships and her armies are gone, her commerce is dead. Her battle-flags +bear the mold and the dust of centuries, her marts are deserted, she has +shrunken far within her crumbling walls, and her great population has +diminished to twenty thousand souls. She has but one thing left to boast +of, and that is not much, viz: she is the second city of Tuscany. + +<p>We reached Leghorn in time to see all we wished to see of it long before +the city gates were closed for the evening, and then came on board the +ship. + +<p>We felt as though we had been away from home an age. We never entirely +appreciated, before, what a very pleasant den our state-room is; nor how +jolly it is to sit at dinner in one's own seat in one's own cabin, and +hold familiar conversation with friends in one's own language. Oh, the +rare happiness of comprehending every single word that is said, and +knowing that every word one says in return will be understood as well! +We would talk ourselves to death, now, only there are only about ten +passengers out of the sixty-five to talk to. The others are wandering, +we hardly know where. We shall not go ashore in Leghorn. We are +surfeited with Italian cities for the present, and much prefer to walk +the familiar quarterdeck and view this one from a distance. + +<p>The stupid magnates of this Leghorn government can not understand that so +large a steamer as ours could cross the broad Atlantic with no other +purpose than to indulge a party of ladies and gentlemen in a pleasure +excursion. It looks too improbable. It is suspicious, they think. +Something more important must be hidden behind it all. They can not +understand it, and they scorn the evidence of the ship's papers. They +have decided at last that we are a battalion of incendiary, blood-thirsty +Garibaldians in disguise! And in all seriousness they have set a +gun-boat to watch the vessel night and day, with orders to close down on any +revolutionary movement in a twinkling! Police boats are on patrol duty +about us all the time, and it is as much as a sailor's liberty is worth +to show himself in a red shirt. These policemen follow the executive +officer's boat from shore to ship and from ship to shore and watch his +dark maneuvers with a vigilant eye. They will arrest him yet unless he +assumes an expression of countenance that shall have less of carnage, +insurrection and sedition in it. A visit paid in a friendly way to +General Garibaldi yesterday (by cordial invitation,) by some of our +passengers, has gone far to confirm the dread suspicions the government +harbors toward us. It is thought the friendly visit was only the cloak +of a bloody conspiracy. These people draw near and watch us when we +bathe in the sea from the ship's side. Do they think we are communing +with a reserve force of rascals at the bottom? + +<p>It is said that we shall probably be quarantined at Naples. Two or three +of us prefer not to run this risk. Therefore, when we are rested, we +propose to go in a French steamer to Civita and from thence to Rome, and +by rail to Naples. They do not quarantine the cars, no matter where they +got their passengers from. + + + +<br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="ch25"></a>CHAPTER XXV. +</h2> +<p>There are a good many things about this Italy which I do not +understand--and more especially I can not understand how a bankrupt Government can +have such palatial railroad depots and such marvels of turnpikes. Why, +these latter are as hard as adamant, as straight as a line, as smooth as +a floor, and as white as snow. When it is too dark to see any other +object, one can still see the white turnpikes of France and Italy; and +they are clean enough to eat from, without a table-cloth. And yet no +tolls are charged. + +<p>As for the railways--we have none like them. The cars slide as smoothly +along as if they were on runners. The depots are vast palaces of cut +marble, with stately colonnades of the same royal stone traversing them +from end to end, and with ample walls and ceilings richly decorated with +frescoes. The lofty gateways are graced with statues, and the broad +floors are all laid in polished flags of marble. + +<p>These things win me more than Italy's hundred galleries of priceless art +treasures, because I can understand the one and am not competent to +appreciate the other. In the turnpikes, the railways, the depots, and +the new boulevards of uniform houses in Florence and other cities here, I +see the genius of Louis Napoleon, or rather, I see the works of that +statesman imitated. But Louis has taken care that in France there shall +be a foundation for these improvements--money. He has always the +wherewithal to back up his projects; they strengthen France and never +weaken her. Her material prosperity is genuine. But here the case is +different. This country is bankrupt. There is no real foundation for +these great works. The prosperity they would seem to indicate is a +pretence. There is no money in the treasury, and so they enfeeble her +instead of strengthening. Italy has achieved the dearest wish of her +heart and become an independent State--and in so doing she has drawn an +elephant in the political lottery. She has nothing to feed it on. +Inexperienced in government, she plunged into all manner of useless +expenditure, and swamped her treasury almost in a day. She squandered +millions of francs on a navy which she did not need, and the first time +she took her new toy into action she got it knocked higher than +Gilderoy's kite--to use the language of the Pilgrims. + +<p>But it is an ill-wind that blows nobody good. A year ago, when Italy saw +utter ruin staring her in the face and her greenbacks hardly worth the +paper they were printed on, her Parliament ventured upon a 'coup de main' +that would have appalled the stoutest of her statesmen under less +desperate circumstances. They, in a manner, confiscated the domains of +the Church! This in priest-ridden Italy! This in a land which has +groped in the midnight of priestly superstition for sixteen hundred +years! It was a rare good fortune for Italy, the stress of weather that +drove her to break from this prison-house. + +<p>They do not call it confiscating the church property. That would sound +too harshly yet. But it amounts to that. There are thousands of +churches in Italy, each with untold millions of treasures stored away in +its closets, and each with its battalion of priests to be supported. +And then there are the estates of the Church--league on league of the +richest lands and the noblest forests in all Italy--all yielding immense +revenues to the Church, and none paying a cent in taxes to the State. +In some great districts the Church owns all the property--lands, +watercourses, woods, mills and factories. They buy, they sell, they +manufacture, and since they pay no taxes, who can hope to compete with +them? + +<p>Well, the Government has seized all this in effect, and will yet seize it +in rigid and unpoetical reality, no doubt. Something must be done to +feed a starving treasury, and there is no other resource in all +Italy--none but the riches of the Church. So the Government intends to take to +itself a great portion of the revenues arising from priestly farms, +factories, etc., and also intends to take possession of the churches and +carry them on, after its own fashion and upon its own responsibility. +In a few instances it will leave the establishments of great pet churches +undisturbed, but in all others only a handful of priests will be retained +to preach and pray, a few will be pensioned, and the balance turned +adrift. + +<p>Pray glance at some of these churches and their embellishments, and see +whether the Government is doing a righteous thing or not. In Venice, +today, a city of a hundred thousand inhabitants, there are twelve hundred +priests. Heaven only knows how many there were before the Parliament +reduced their numbers. There was the great Jesuit Church. Under the old +regime it required sixty priests to engineer it--the Government does it +with five, now, and the others are discharged from service. All about +that church wretchedness and poverty abound. At its door a dozen hats +and bonnets were doffed to us, as many heads were humbly bowed, and as +many hands extended, appealing for pennies--appealing with foreign words +we could not understand, but appealing mutely, with sad eyes, and sunken +cheeks, and ragged raiment, that no words were needed to translate. Then +we passed within the great doors, and it seemed that the riches of the +world were before us! Huge columns carved out of single masses of +marble, and inlaid from top to bottom with a hundred intricate figures +wrought in costly verde antique; pulpits of the same rich materials, +whose draperies hung down in many a pictured fold, the stony fabric +counterfeiting the delicate work of the loom; the grand altar brilliant +with polished facings and balustrades of oriental agate, jasper, verde +antique, and other precious stones, whose names, even, we seldom +hear--and slabs of priceless lapis lazuli lavished every where as recklessly as +if the church had owned a quarry of it. In the midst of all this +magnificence, the solid gold and silver furniture of the altar seemed +cheap and trivial. Even the floors and ceilings cost a princely fortune. + +<p>Now, where is the use of allowing all those riches to lie idle, while +half of that community hardly know, from day to day, how they are going +to keep body and soul together? And, where is the wisdom in permitting +hundreds upon hundreds of millions of francs to be locked up in the +useless trumpery of churches all over Italy, and the people ground to +death with taxation to uphold a perishing Government? + +<p>As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her +energies, all her finances, and all her industry to the building up of a +vast array of wonderful church edifices, and starving half her citizens +to accomplish it. She is to-day one vast museum of magnificence and +misery. All the churches in an ordinary American city put together could +hardly buy the jeweled frippery in one of her hundred cathedrals. And +for every beggar in America, Italy can show a hundred--and rags and +vermin to match. It is the wretchedest, princeliest land on earth. + +<p>Look at the grand Duomo of Florence--a vast pile that has been sapping +the purses of her citizens for five hundred years, and is not nearly +finished yet. Like all other men, I fell down and worshipped it, but +when the filthy beggars swarmed around me the contrast was too striking, +too suggestive, and I said, "O, sons of classic Italy, is the spirit of +enterprise, of self-reliance, of noble endeavor, utterly dead within ye? +Curse your indolent worthlessness, why don't you rob your church?" + +<p>Three hundred happy, comfortable priests are employed in that Cathedral. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p258"></a><img alt="p258.jpg (28K)" src="images/p258.jpg" height="365" width="427"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>And now that my temper is up, I may as well go on and abuse every body I +can think of. They have a grand mausoleum in Florence, which they built +to bury our Lord and Saviour and the Medici family in. It sounds +blasphemous, but it is true, and here they act blasphemy. The dead and +damned Medicis who cruelly tyrannized over Florence and were her curse +for over two hundred years, are salted away in a circle of costly vaults, +and in their midst the Holy Sepulchre was to have been set up. The +expedition sent to Jerusalem to seize it got into trouble and could not +accomplish the burglary, and so the centre of the mausoleum is vacant +now. They say the entire mausoleum was intended for the Holy Sepulchre, +and was only turned into a family burying place after the Jerusalem +expedition failed--but you will excuse me. Some of those Medicis would +have smuggled themselves in sure.--What they had not the effrontery to +do, was not worth doing. Why, they had their trivial, forgotten exploits +on land and sea pictured out in grand frescoes (as did also the ancient +Doges of Venice) with the Saviour and the Virgin throwing bouquets to +them out of the clouds, and the Deity himself applauding from his throne +in Heaven! And who painted these things? Why, Titian, Tintoretto, Paul +Veronese, Raphael--none other than the world's idols, the "old masters." + +<p>Andrea del Sarto glorified his princes in pictures that must save them +for ever from the oblivion they merited, and they let him starve. Served +him right. Raphael pictured such infernal villains as Catherine and +Marie de Medicis seated in heaven and conversing familiarly with the +Virgin Mary and the angels, (to say nothing of higher personages,) and +yet my friends abuse me because I am a little prejudiced against the old +masters--because I fail sometimes to see the beauty that is in their +productions. I can not help but see it, now and then, but I keep on +protesting against the groveling spirit that could persuade those masters +to prostitute their noble talents to the adulation of such monsters as +the French, Venetian and Florentine Princes of two and three hundred +years ago, all the same. + +<p>I am told that the old masters had to do these shameful things for bread, +the princes and potentates being the only patrons of art. If a grandly +gifted man may drag his pride and his manhood in the dirt for bread +rather than starve with the nobility that is in him untainted, the excuse +is a valid one. It would excuse theft in Washingtons and Wellingtons, +and unchastity in women as well. + +<p>But somehow, I can not keep that Medici mausoleum out of my memory. It +is as large as a church; its pavement is rich enough for the pavement of +a King's palace; its great dome is gorgeous with frescoes; its walls are +made of--what? Marble?--plaster?--wood?--paper? No. Red +porphyry--verde antique--jasper--oriental +agate--alabaster--mother-of-pearl--chalcedony--red coral--lapis lazuli! All the vast walls are made wholly +of these precious stones, worked in, and in and in together in elaborate +patterns and figures, and polished till they glow like great mirrors +with the pictured splendors reflected from the dome overhead. And before +a statue of one of those dead Medicis reposes a crown that blazes with +diamonds and emeralds enough to buy a ship-of-the-line, almost. These +are the things the Government has its evil eye upon, and a happy thing it +will be for Italy when they melt away in the public treasury. + +<p>And now----. However, another beggar approaches. I will go out and +destroy him, and then come back and write another chapter of +vituperation. + +<p>Having eaten the friendless orphan--having driven away his +comrades--having grown calm and reflective at length--I now feel in a kindlier +mood. I feel that after talking so freely about the priests and the +churches, justice demands that if I know any thing good about either I +ought to say it. I have heard of many things that redound to the credit +of the priesthood, but the most notable matter that occurs to me now is +the devotion one of the mendicant orders showed during the prevalence of +the cholera last year. I speak of the Dominican friars--men who wear a +coarse, heavy brown robe and a cowl, in this hot climate, and go +barefoot. They live on alms altogether, I believe. They must +unquestionably love their religion, to suffer so much for it. When the +cholera was raging in Naples; when the people were dying by hundreds and +hundreds every day; when every concern for the public welfare was +swallowed up in selfish private interest, and every citizen made the +taking care of himself his sole object, these men banded themselves +together and went about nursing the sick and burying the dead. Their +noble efforts cost many of them their lives. They laid them down +cheerfully, and well they might. Creeds mathematically precise, and +hair-splitting niceties of doctrine, are absolutely necessary for the +salvation of some kinds of souls, but surely the charity, the purity, the +unselfishness that are in the hearts of men like these would save their +souls though they were bankrupt in the true religion--which is ours. + +<p>One of these fat bare-footed rascals came here to Civita Vecchia with us +in the little French steamer. There were only half a dozen of us in the +cabin. He belonged in the steerage. He was the life of the ship, the +bloody-minded son of the Inquisition! He and the leader of the marine +band of a French man-of-war played on the piano and sang opera turn +about; they sang duets together; they rigged impromptu theatrical +costumes and gave us extravagant farces and pantomimes. We got along +first-rate with the friar, and were excessively conversational, albeit he +could not understand what we said, and certainly he never uttered a word +that we could guess the meaning of. + +<p>This Civita Vecchia is the finest nest of dirt, vermin and ignorance we +have found yet, except that African perdition they call Tangier, which is +just like it. The people here live in alleys two yards wide, which have +a smell about them which is peculiar but not entertaining. It is well +the alleys are not wider, because they hold as much smell now as a person +can stand, and of course, if they were wider they would hold more, and +then the people would die. These alleys are paved with stone, and +carpeted with deceased cats, and decayed rags, and decomposed +vegetable-tops, and remnants of old boots, all soaked with dish-water, and the +people sit around on stools and enjoy it. They are indolent, as a +general thing, and yet have few pastimes. They work two or three hours +at a time, but not hard, and then they knock off and catch flies. This +does not require any talent, because they only have to grab--if they do +not get the one they are after, they get another. It is all the same to +them. They have no partialities. Whichever one they get is the one they +want. + +<p>They have other kinds of insects, but it does not make them arrogant. +They are very quiet, unpretending people. They have more of these kind +of things than other communities, but they do not boast. + +<p>They are very uncleanly--these people--in face, in person and dress. +When they see any body with a clean shirt on, it arouses their scorn. +The women wash clothes, half the day, at the public tanks in the streets, +but they are probably somebody else's. Or may be they keep one set to +wear and another to wash; because they never put on any that have ever +been washed. When they get done washing, they sit in the alleys and +nurse their cubs. They nurse one ash-cat at a time, and the others +scratch their backs against the door-post and are happy. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p263"></a><img alt="p263.jpg (38K)" src="images/p263.jpg" height="413" width="569"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>All this country belongs to the Papal States. They do not appear to have +any schools here, and only one billiard table. Their education is at a +very low stage. One portion of the men go into the military, another +into the priesthood, and the rest into the shoe-making business. + +<p>They keep up the passport system here, but so they do in Turkey. This +shows that the Papal States are as far advanced as Turkey. This fact +will be alone sufficient to silence the tongues of malignant +calumniators. I had to get my passport vised for Rome in Florence, and +then they would not let me come ashore here until a policeman had +examined it on the wharf and sent me a permit. They did not even dare to +let me take my passport in my hands for twelve hours, I looked so +formidable. They judged it best to let me cool down. They thought I +wanted to take the town, likely. Little did they know me. I wouldn't +have it. They examined my baggage at the depot. They took one of my +ablest jokes and read it over carefully twice and then read it backwards. +But it was too deep for them. They passed it around, and every body +speculated on it awhile, but it mastered them all. + +<p>It was no common joke. At length a veteran officer spelled it over +deliberately and shook his head three or four times and said that in his +opinion it was seditious. That was the first time I felt alarmed. I +immediately said I would explain the document, and they crowded around. +And so I explained and explained and explained, and they took notes of +all I said, but the more I explained the more they could not understand +it, and when they desisted at last, I could not even understand it +myself. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p264"></a><img alt="p264.jpg (49K)" src="images/p264.jpg" height="493" width="579"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>They said they believed it was an incendiary document, leveled +at the government. I declared solemnly that it was not, but they only +shook their heads and would not be satisfied. Then they consulted a good +while; and finally they confiscated it. I was very sorry for this, +because I had worked a long time on that joke, and took a good deal of +pride in it, and now I suppose I shall never see it any more. I suppose +it will be sent up and filed away among the criminal archives of Rome, +and will always be regarded as a mysterious infernal machine which would +have blown up like a mine and scattered the good Pope all around, but for +a miraculous providential interference. And I suppose that all the time +I am in Rome the police will dog me about from place to place because +they think I am a dangerous character. + +<p>It is fearfully hot in Civita Vecchia. The streets are made very narrow +and the houses built very solid and heavy and high, as a protection +against the heat. This is the first Italian town I have seen which does +not appear to have a patron saint. I suppose no saint but the one that +went up in the chariot of fire could stand the climate. + +<p>There is nothing here to see. They have not even a cathedral, with +eleven tons of solid silver archbishops in the back room; and they do not +show you any moldy buildings that are seven thousand years old; nor any +smoke-dried old fire-screens which are chef d'oeuvres of Reubens or +Simpson, or Titian or Ferguson, or any of those parties; and they haven't +any bottled fragments of saints, and not even a nail from the true cross. +We are going to Rome. There is nothing to see here. + + + +<br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="ch26"></a>CHAPTER XXVI. +</h2> +<p>What is it that confers the noblest delight? What is that which swells a +man's breast with pride above that which any other experience can bring +to him? Discovery! To know that you are walking where none others have +walked; that you are beholding what human eye has not seen before; that +you are breathing a virgin atmosphere. To give birth to an idea--to +discover a great thought--an intellectual nugget, right under the dust of +a field that many a brain--plow had gone over before. To find a new +planet, to invent a new hinge, to find the way to make the lightnings +carry your messages. To be the first--that is the idea. To do +something, say something, see something, before any body else--these are +the things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are +tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial. Morse, with his +first message, brought by his servant, the lightning; Fulton, in that +long-drawn century of suspense, when he placed his hand upon the +throttle-valve and lo, the steamboat moved; Jenner, when his patient with +the cow's virus in his blood, walked through the smallpox hospitals +unscathed; Howe, when the idea shot through his brain that for a hundred +and twenty generations the eye had been bored through the wrong end of +the needle; the nameless lord of art who laid down his chisel in some old +age that is forgotten, now, and gloated upon the finished Laocoon; +Daguerre, when he commanded the sun, riding in the zenith, to print the +landscape upon his insignificant silvered plate, and he obeyed; Columbus, +in the Pinta's shrouds, when he swung his hat above a fabled sea and +gazed abroad upon an unknown world! These are the men who have really +lived--who have actually comprehended what pleasure is--who have crowded +long lifetimes of ecstasy into a single moment. + +<p>What is there in Rome for me to see that others have not seen before me? +What is there for me to touch that others have not touched? What is +there for me to feel, to learn, to hear, to know, that shall thrill me +before it pass to others? What can I discover?--Nothing. Nothing +whatsoever. One charm of travel dies here. But if I were only a +Roman!--If, added to my own I could be gifted with modern Roman sloth, modern +Roman superstition, and modern Roman boundlessness of ignorance, what +bewildering worlds of unsuspected wonders I would discover! Ah, if I +were only a habitant of the Campagna five and twenty miles from Rome! +Then I would travel. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p267"></a><img alt="p267.jpg (9K)" src="images/p267.jpg" height="415" width="187"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>I would go to America, and see, and learn, and return to the Campagna and +stand before my countrymen an illustrious discoverer. I would say: + +<p>"I saw there a country which has no overshadowing Mother Church, and yet +the people survive. I saw a government which never was protected by +foreign soldiers at a cost greater than that required to carry on the +government itself. I saw common men and common women who could read; +I even saw small children of common country people reading from books; +if I dared think you would believe it, I would say they could write, +also. + +<p>"In the cities I saw people drinking a delicious beverage made of chalk +and water, but never once saw goats driven through their Broadway or +their Pennsylvania Avenue or their Montgomery street and milked at the +doors of the houses. I saw real glass windows in the houses of even the +commonest people. Some of the houses are not of stone, nor yet of +bricks; I solemnly swear they are made of wood. Houses there will take +fire and burn, sometimes--actually burn entirely down, and not leave a +single vestige behind. I could state that for a truth, upon my +death-bed. And as a proof that the circumstance is not rare, I aver that they +have a thing which they call a fire-engine, which vomits forth great +streams of water, and is kept always in readiness, by night and by day, +to rush to houses that are burning. You would think one engine would be +sufficient, but some great cities have a hundred; they keep men hired, +and pay them by the month to do nothing but put out fires. For a certain +sum of money other men will insure that your house shall not burn down; +and if it burns they will pay you for it. There are hundreds and +thousands of schools, and any body may go and learn to be wise, like a +priest. In that singular country if a rich man dies a sinner, he is +damned; he can not buy salvation with money for masses. There is really +not much use in being rich, there. Not much use as far as the other +world is concerned, but much, very much use, as concerns this; because +there, if a man be rich, he is very greatly honored, and can become a +legislator, a governor, a general, a senator, no matter how ignorant an +ass he is--just as in our beloved Italy the nobles hold all the great +places, even though sometimes they are born noble idiots. There, if a +man be rich, they give him costly presents, they ask him to feasts, they +invite him to drink complicated beverages; but if he be poor and in debt, +they require him to do that which they term to "settle." The women put +on a different dress almost every day; the dress is usually fine, but +absurd in shape; the very shape and fashion of it changes twice in a +hundred years; and did I but covet to be called an extravagant falsifier, +I would say it changed even oftener. Hair does not grow upon the +American women's heads; it is made for them by cunning workmen in the +shops, and is curled and frizzled into scandalous and ungodly forms. +Some persons wear eyes of glass which they see through with facility +perhaps, else they would not use them; and in the mouths of some are +teeth made by the sacrilegious hand of man. The dress of the men is +laughably grotesque. They carry no musket in ordinary life, nor no +long-pointed pole; they wear no wide green-lined cloak; they wear no peaked +black felt hat, no leathern gaiters reaching to the knee, no goat-skin +breeches with the hair side out, no hob-nailed shoes, no prodigious +spurs. They wear a conical hat termed a "nail-kag;" a coat of saddest +black; a shirt which shows dirt so easily that it has to be changed every +month, and is very troublesome; things called pantaloons, which are held +up by shoulder straps, and on their feet they wear boots which are +ridiculous in pattern and can stand no wear. Yet dressed in this +fantastic garb, these people laughed at my costume. In that country, +books are so common that it is really no curiosity to see one. +Newspapers also. They have a great machine which prints such things by +thousands every hour. + +<p>"I saw common men, there--men who were neither priests nor princes--who +yet absolutely owned the land they tilled. It was not rented from the +church, nor from the nobles. I am ready to take my oath of this. In +that country you might fall from a third story window three several +times, and not mash either a soldier or a priest.--The scarcity of such +people is astonishing. In the cities you will see a dozen civilians for +every soldier, and as many for every priest or preacher. Jews, there, +are treated just like human beings, instead of dogs. They can work at +any business they please; they can sell brand new goods if they want to; +they can keep drug-stores; they can practice medicine among Christians; +they can even shake hands with Christians if they choose; they can +associate with them, just the same as one human being does with another +human being; they don't have to stay shut up in one corner of the towns; +they can live in any part of a town they like best; it is said they even +have the privilege of buying land and houses, and owning them themselves, +though I doubt that, myself; they never have had to run races naked +through the public streets, against jackasses, to please the people in +carnival time; there they never have been driven by the soldiers into a +church every Sunday for hundreds of years to hear themselves and their +religion especially and particularly cursed; at this very day, in that +curious country, a Jew is allowed to vote, hold office, yea, get up on a +rostrum in the public street and express his opinion of the government if +the government don't suit him! Ah, it is wonderful. The common people +there know a great deal; they even have the effrontery to complain if +they are not properly governed, and to take hold and help conduct the +government themselves; if they had laws like ours, which give one dollar +of every three a crop produces to the government for taxes, they would +have that law altered: instead of paying thirty-three dollars in taxes, +out of every one hundred they receive, they complain if they have to pay +seven. They are curious people. They do not know when they are well +off. Mendicant priests do not prowl among them with baskets begging for +the church and eating up their substance. One hardly ever sees a +minister of the gospel going around there in his bare feet, with a +basket, begging for subsistence. In that country the preachers are not +like our mendicant orders of friars--they have two or three suits of +clothing, and they wash sometimes. In that land are mountains far higher +than the Alban mountains; the vast Roman Campagna, a hundred miles long +and full forty broad, is really small compared to the United States of +America; the Tiber, that celebrated river of ours, which stretches its +mighty course almost two hundred miles, and which a lad can scarcely +throw a stone across at Rome, is not so long, nor yet so wide, as the +American Mississippi--nor yet the Ohio, nor even the Hudson. In America +the people are absolutely wiser and know much more than their +grandfathers did. They do not plow with a sharpened stick, nor yet with +a three-cornered block of wood that merely scratches the top of the +ground. We do that because our fathers did, three thousand years ago, I +suppose. But those people have no holy reverence for their ancestors. +They plow with a plow that is a sharp, curved blade of iron, and it cuts +into the earth full five inches. And this is not all. They cut their +grain with a horrid machine that mows down whole fields in a day. If I +dared, I would say that sometimes they use a blasphemous plow that works +by fire and vapor and tears up an acre of ground in a single +hour--but--but--I see by your looks that you do not believe the things I am telling +you. Alas, my character is ruined, and I am a branded speaker of +untruths!" + +<p>Of course we have been to the monster Church of St. Peter, frequently. +I knew its dimensions. I knew it was a prodigious structure. I knew it +was just about the length of the capitol at Washington--say seven hundred +and thirty feet. I knew it was three hundred and sixty-four feet wide, +and consequently wider than the capitol. I knew that the cross on the +top of the dome of the church was four hundred and thirty-eight feet +above the ground, and therefore about a hundred or may be a hundred and +twenty-five feet higher than the dome of the capitol.--Thus I had one +gauge. I wished to come as near forming a correct idea of how it was +going to look, as possible; I had a curiosity to see how much I would +err. I erred considerably. St. Peter's did not look nearly so large as +the capitol, and certainly not a twentieth part as beautiful, from the +outside. + +<p>When we reached the door, and stood fairly within the church, it was +impossible to comprehend that it was a very large building. I had to +cipher a comprehension of it. I had to ransack my memory for some more +similes. St. Peter's is bulky. Its height and size would represent two +of the Washington capitol set one on top of the other--if the capitol +were wider; or two blocks or two blocks and a half of ordinary buildings +set one on top of the other. St. Peter's was that large, but it could +and would not look so. The trouble was that every thing in it and about +it was on such a scale of uniform vastness that there were no contrasts +to judge by--none but the people, and I had not noticed them. They were +insects. The statues of children holding vases of holy water were +immense, according to the tables of figures, but so was every thing else +around them. The mosaic pictures in the dome were huge, and were made of +thousands and thousands of cubes of glass as large as the end of my +little finger, but those pictures looked smooth, and gaudy of color, and +in good proportion to the dome. Evidently they would not answer to +measure by. Away down toward the far end of the church (I thought it was +really clear at the far end, but discovered afterward that it was in the +centre, under the dome,) stood the thing they call the baldacchino--a +great bronze pyramidal frame-work like that which upholds a mosquito bar. +It only looked like a considerably magnified bedstead--nothing more. Yet +I knew it was a good deal more than half as high as Niagara Falls. It +was overshadowed by a dome so mighty that its own height was snubbed. +The four great square piers or pillars that stand equidistant from each +other in the church, and support the roof, I could not work up to their +real dimensions by any method of comparison. I knew that the faces of +each were about the width of a very large dwelling-house front, (fifty or +sixty feet,) and that they were twice as high as an ordinary three-story +dwelling, but still they looked small. I tried all the different ways I +could think of to compel myself to understand how large St. Peter's was, +but with small success. The mosaic portrait of an Apostle who was +writing with a pen six feet long seemed only an ordinary Apostle. + +<p>But the people attracted my attention after a while. To stand in the +door of St. Peter's and look at men down toward its further extremity, +two blocks away, has a diminishing effect on them; surrounded by the +prodigious pictures and statues, and lost in the vast spaces, they look +very much smaller than they would if they stood two blocks away in the +open air. I "averaged" a man as he passed me and watched him as he +drifted far down by the baldacchino and beyond--watched him dwindle to an +insignificant school-boy, and then, in the midst of the silent throng of +human pigmies gliding about him, I lost him. The church had lately been +decorated, on the occasion of a great ceremony in honor of St. Peter, and +men were engaged, now, in removing the flowers and gilt paper from the +walls and pillars. As no ladders could reach the great heights, the men +swung themselves down from balustrades and the capitals of pilasters by +ropes, to do this work. The upper gallery which encircles the inner +sweep of the dome is two hundred and forty feet above the floor of the +church--very few steeples in America could reach up to it. Visitors +always go up there to look down into the church because one gets the best +idea of some of the heights and distances from that point. While we +stood on the floor one of the workmen swung loose from that gallery at +the end of a long rope. I had not supposed, before, that a man could +look so much like a spider. He was insignificant in size, and his rope +seemed only a thread. Seeing that he took up so little space, I could +believe the story, then, that ten thousand troops went to St. Peter's, +once, to hear mass, and their commanding officer came afterward, and not +finding them, supposed they had not yet arrived. But they were in the +church, nevertheless--they were in one of the transepts. Nearly fifty +thousand persons assembled in St. Peter's to hear the publishing of the +dogma of the Immaculate Conception. It is estimated that the floor of +the church affords standing room for--for a large number of people; I +have forgotten the exact figures. But it is no matter--it is near +enough. + +<p>They have twelve small pillars, in St. Peter's, which came from Solomon's +Temple. They have, also--which was far more interesting to me--a piece +of the true cross, and some nails, and a part of the crown of thorns. + +<p>Of course we ascended to the summit of the dome, and of course we also +went up into the gilt copper ball which is above it.--There was room +there for a dozen persons, with a little crowding, and it was as close +and hot as an oven. Some of those people who are so fond of writing +their names in prominent places had been there before us--a million or +two, I should think. From the dome of St. Peter's one can see every +notable object in Rome, from the Castle of St. Angelo to the Coliseum. +He can discern the seven hills upon which Rome is built. He can see the +Tiber, and the locality of the bridge which Horatius kept "in the brave +days of old" when Lars Porsena attempted to cross it with his invading +host. He can see the spot where the Horatii and the Curatii fought their +famous battle. He can see the broad green Campagna, stretching away +toward the mountains, with its scattered arches and broken aqueducts of +the olden time, so picturesque in their gray ruin, and so daintily +festooned with vines. He can see the Alban Mountains, the Appenines, the +Sabine Hills, and the blue Mediterranean. He can see a panorama that is +varied, extensive, beautiful to the eye, and more illustrious in history +than any other in Europe.--About his feet is spread the remnant of a +city that once had a population of four million souls; and among its +massed edifices stand the ruins of temples, columns, and triumphal arches +that knew the Caesars, and the noonday of Roman splendor; and close by +them, in unimpaired strength, is a drain of arched and heavy masonry that +belonged to that older city which stood here before Romulus and Remus +were born or Rome thought of. The Appian Way is here yet, and looking +much as it did, perhaps, when the triumphal processions of the Emperors +moved over it in other days bringing fettered princes from the confines +of the earth. We can not see the long array of chariots and mail-clad +men laden with the spoils of conquest, but we can imagine the pageant, +after a fashion. We look out upon many objects of interest from the dome +of St. Peter's; and last of all, almost at our feet, our eyes rest upon +the building which was once the Inquisition. How times changed, between +the older ages and the new! Some seventeen or eighteen centuries ago, +the ignorant men of Rome were wont to put Christians in the arena of the +Coliseum yonder, and turn the wild beasts in upon them for a show. It +was for a lesson as well. It was to teach the people to abhor and fear +the new doctrine the followers of Christ were teaching. The beasts tore +the victims limb from limb and made poor mangled corpses of them in the +twinkling of an eye. But when the Christians came into power, when the +holy Mother Church became mistress of the barbarians, she taught them the +error of their ways by no such means. No, she put them in this pleasant +Inquisition and pointed to the Blessed Redeemer, who was so gentle and so +merciful toward all men, and they urged the barbarians to love him; and +they did all they could to persuade them to love and honor him--first by +twisting their thumbs out of joint with a screw; then by nipping their +flesh with pincers--red-hot ones, because they are the most comfortable +in cold weather; then by skinning them alive a little, and finally by +roasting them in public. They always convinced those barbarians. The +true religion, properly administered, as the good Mother Church used to +administer it, is very, very soothing. It is wonderfully persuasive, +also. There is a great difference between feeding parties to wild beasts +and stirring up their finer feelings in an Inquisition. One is the +system of degraded barbarians, the other of enlightened, civilized +people. It is a great pity the playful Inquisition is no more. + + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p276"></a><img alt="p276.jpg (35K)" src="images/p276.jpg" height="367" width="583"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>I prefer not to describe St. Peter's. It has been done before. The +ashes of Peter, the disciple of the Saviour, repose in a crypt under the +baldacchino. We stood reverently in that place; so did we also in the +Mamertine Prison, where he was confined, where he converted the soldiers, +and where tradition says he caused a spring of water to flow in order +that he might baptize them. But when they showed us the print of Peter's +face in the hard stone of the prison wall and said he made that by +falling up against it, we doubted. And when, also, the monk at the +church of San Sebastian showed us a paving-stone with two great +footprints in it and said that Peter's feet made those, we lacked +confidence again. Such things do not impress one. The monk said that +angels came and liberated Peter from prison by night, and he started away +from Rome by the Appian Way. The Saviour met him and told him to go +back, which he did. Peter left those footprints in the stone upon which +he stood at the time. It was not stated how it was ever discovered whose +footprints they were, seeing the interview occurred secretly and at +night. The print of the face in the prison was that of a man of common +size; the footprints were those of a man ten or twelve feet high. The +discrepancy confirmed our unbelief. + +<p>We necessarily visited the Forum, where Caesar was assassinated, and also +the Tarpeian Rock. We saw the Dying Gladiator at the Capitol, and I +think that even we appreciated that wonder of art; as much, perhaps, as +we did that fearful story wrought in marble, in the Vatican--the Laocoon. +And then the Coliseum. + +<p>Every body knows the picture of the Coliseum; every body recognizes at +once that "looped and windowed" band-box with a side bitten out. Being +rather isolated, it shows to better advantage than any other of the +monuments of ancient Rome. Even the beautiful Pantheon, whose pagan +altars uphold the cross, now, and whose Venus, tricked out in consecrated +gimcracks, does reluctant duty as a Virgin Mary to-day, is built about +with shabby houses and its stateliness sadly marred. But the monarch of +all European ruins, the Coliseum, maintains that reserve and that royal +seclusion which is proper to majesty. Weeds and flowers spring from its +massy arches and its circling seats, and vines hang their fringes from +its lofty walls. An impressive silence broods over the monstrous +structure where such multitudes of men and women were wont to assemble in +other days. The butterflies have taken the places of the queens of +fashion and beauty of eighteen centuries ago, and the lizards sun +themselves in the sacred seat of the Emperor. More vividly than all the +written histories, the Coliseum tells the story of Rome's grandeur and +Rome's decay. It is the worthiest type of both that exists. Moving +about the Rome of to-day, we might find it hard to believe in her old +magnificence and her millions of population; but with this stubborn +evidence before us that she was obliged to have a theatre with sitting +room for eighty thousand persons and standing room for twenty thousand +more, to accommodate such of her citizens as required amusement, we find +belief less difficult. The Coliseum is over one thousand six hundred +feet long, seven hundred and fifty wide, and one hundred and sixty-five +high. Its shape is oval. + +<p>In America we make convicts useful at the same time that we punish them +for their crimes. We farm them out and compel them to earn money for the +State by making barrels and building roads. Thus we combine business +with retribution, and all things are lovely. But in ancient Rome they +combined religious duty with pleasure. Since it was necessary that the +new sect called Christians should be exterminated, the people judged it +wise to make this work profitable to the State at the same time, and +entertaining to the public. In addition to the gladiatorial combats and +other shows, they sometimes threw members of the hated sect into the +arena of the Coliseum and turned wild beasts in upon them. It is +estimated that seventy thousand Christians suffered martyrdom in this +place. This has made the Coliseum holy ground, in the eyes of the +followers of the Saviour. And well it might; for if the chain that bound +a saint, and the footprints a saint has left upon a stone he chanced to +stand upon, be holy, surely the spot where a man gave up his life for his +faith is holy. + +<p>Seventeen or eighteen centuries ago this Coliseum was the theatre of +Rome, and Rome was mistress of the world. Splendid pageants were +exhibited here, in presence of the Emperor, the great ministers of State, +the nobles, and vast audiences of citizens of smaller consequence. +Gladiators fought with gladiators and at times with warrior prisoners +from many a distant land. It was the theatre of Rome--of the world--and +the man of fashion who could not let fall in a casual and unintentional +manner something about "my private box at the Coliseum" could not move in +the first circles. When the clothing-store merchant wished to consume +the corner grocery man with envy, he bought secured seats in the front +row and let the thing be known. When the irresistible dry goods clerk +wished to blight and destroy, according to his native instinct, he got +himself up regardless of expense and took some other fellow's young lady +to the Coliseum, and then accented the affront by cramming her with ice +cream between the acts, or by approaching the cage and stirring up the +martyrs with his whalebone cane for her edification. The Roman swell was +in his true element only when he stood up against a pillar and fingered +his moustache unconscious of the ladies; when he viewed the bloody +combats through an opera-glass two inches long; when he excited the envy +of provincials by criticisms which showed that he had been to the +Coliseum many and many a time and was long ago over the novelty of it; +when he turned away with a yawn at last and said, + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p278"></a><img alt="p278.jpg (12K)" src="images/p278.jpg" height="447" width="195"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>"He a star! handles his sword like an apprentice brigand! he'll do for +the country, may be, but he don't answer for the metropolis!" + +<p>Glad was the contraband that had a seat in the pit at the Saturday +matinee, and happy the Roman street-boy who ate his peanuts and guyed the +gladiators from the dizzy gallery. + +<p>For me was reserved the high honor of discovering among the rubbish of +the ruined Coliseum the only playbill of that establishment now extant. +There was a suggestive smell of mint-drops about it still, a corner of it +had evidently been chewed, and on the margin, in choice Latin, these +words were written in a delicate female hand: + +<p> "Meet me on the Tarpeian Rock tomorrow evening, dear, at sharp + seven. Mother will be absent on a visit to her friends in the + Sabine Hills. CLAUDIA." + +<p>Ah, where is that lucky youth to-day, and where the little hand that +wrote those dainty lines? Dust and ashes these seventeen hundred years! + +<p>Thus reads the bill: +<blockquote><blockquote> + + <center> <h1>ROMAN COLISEUM.</h1> + <h2>UNPARALLELED ATTRACTION!</h2> + <h3>NEW PROPERTIES! NEW LIONS! NEW GLADIATORS!</h3> + <h3> Engagement of the renowned</h3> + <h2>MARCUS MARCELLUS VALERIAN!</h2> + <h3>FOR SIX NIGHTS ONLY!</h3></center> + +<br>The management beg leave to offer to the public an entertainment +surpassing in magnificence any thing that has heretofore been attempted +on any stage. No expense has been spared to make the opening season one +which shall be worthy the generous patronage which the management feel +sure will crown their efforts. The management beg leave to state that +they have succeeded in securing the services of a + + <center><h3>GALAXY OF TALENT!</h3></center> +<br>such as has not been beheld in Rome before. +<br> +<br>The performance will commence this evening with a + + <center><h2>GRAND BROADSWORD COMBAT!</h2></center> +<br>between two young and promising amateurs and a celebrated Parthian +<br>gladiator who has just arrived a prisoner from the Camp of Verus. + +<br>This will be followed by a grand moral + + <center><h2>BATTLE-AX ENGAGEMENT!</h2></center> +<br>between the renowned Valerian (with one hand tied behind him,) and two +gigantic savages from Britain. +<br> +<br>After which the renowned Valerian (if he survive,) will fight with the +broad-sword, +<br> + <center><h3>LEFT HANDED!</h3></center> +against six Sophomores and a Freshman from the Gladiatorial College! + +<br>A long series of brilliant engagements will follow, in which the finest +talent of the Empire will take part +<br> +<br>After which the celebrated Infant Prodigy known as + + <center><h2>"THE YOUNG ACHILLES,"</h2></center> +<br>will engage four tiger whelps in combat, armed with no other weapon than +his little spear! + +<br>The whole to conclude with a chaste and elegant + + <center><h3>GENERAL SLAUGHTER!</h3></center> +<br>In which thirteen African Lions and twenty-two Barbarian Prisoners will +war with each other until all are exterminated. +<br> + <center><h3>BOX OFFICE NOW OPEN.</h3></center> +<br> +<br>Dress Circle One Dollar; Children and Servants half price. + +<br>An efficient police force will be on hand to preserve order and keep the +wild beasts from leaping the railings and discommoding the audience. +<br><br> +<br>Doors open at 7; performance begins at 8. +<br> +<br>POSITIVELY NO FREE LIST. + + <center>Diodorus Job Press.</center> + +</blockquote></blockquote> +<br><br> +<p> +It was as singular as it was gratifying that I was also so fortunate as +to find among the rubbish of the arena, a stained and mutilated copy of +the Roman Daily Battle-Ax, containing a critique upon this very +performance. It comes to hand too late by many centuries to rank as +news, and therefore I translate and publish it simply to show how very +little the general style and phraseology of dramatic criticism has +altered in the ages that have dragged their slow length along since the +carriers laid this one damp and fresh before their Roman patrons: + + +<blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote> + + <p>"THE OPENING SEASON.--COLISEUM.--Notwithstanding the inclemency of + the weather, quite a respectable number of the rank and fashion of + the city assembled last night to witness the debut upon metropolitan + boards of the young tragedian who has of late been winning such + golden opinions in the amphitheatres of the provinces. Some sixty + thousand persons were present, and but for the fact that the streets + were almost impassable, it is fair to presume that the house would + have been full. His august Majesty, the Emperor Aurelius, occupied + the imperial box, and was the cynosure of all eyes. Many + illustrious nobles and generals of the Empire graced the occasion + with their presence, and not the least among them was the young + patrician lieutenant whose laurels, won in the ranks of the + "Thundering Legion," are still so green upon his brow. The cheer + which greeted his entrance was heard beyond the Tiber! + + <p>"The late repairs and decorations add both to the comeliness and the + comfort of the Coliseum. The new cushions are a great improvement + upon the hard marble seats we have been so long accustomed to. The + present management deserve well of the public. They have restored + to the Coliseum the gilding, the rich upholstery and the uniform + magnificence which old Coliseum frequenters tell us Rome was so + proud of fifty years ago. + + <p>"The opening scene last night--the broadsword combat between two + young amateurs and a famous Parthian gladiator who was sent here a + prisoner--was very fine. The elder of the two young gentlemen + handled his weapon with a grace that marked the possession of + extraordinary talent. His feint of thrusting, followed instantly by + a happily delivered blow which unhelmeted the Parthian, was received + with hearty applause. He was not thoroughly up in the backhanded + stroke, but it was very gratifying to his numerous friends to know + that, in time, practice would have overcome this defect. However, + he was killed. His sisters, who were present, expressed + considerable regret. His mother left the Coliseum. The other youth + maintained the contest with such spirit as to call forth + enthusiastic bursts of applause. When at last he fell a corpse, his + aged mother ran screaming, with hair disheveled and tears streaming + from her eyes, and swooned away just as her hands were clutching at + the railings of the arena. She was promptly removed by the police. + Under the circumstances the woman's conduct was pardonable, perhaps, + but we suggest that such exhibitions interfere with the decorum + which should be preserved during the performances, and are highly + improper in the presence of the Emperor. The Parthian prisoner + fought bravely and well; and well he might, for he was fighting for + both life and liberty. His wife and children were there to nerve + his arm with their love, and to remind him of the old home he should + see again if he conquered. When his second assailant fell, the + woman clasped her children to her breast and wept for joy. But it + was only a transient happiness. The captive staggered toward her + and she saw that the liberty he had earned was earned too late. He + was wounded unto death. Thus the first act closed in a manner which + was entirely satisfactory. The manager was called before the + curtain and returned his thanks for the honor done him, in a speech + which was replete with wit and humor, and closed by hoping that his + humble efforts to afford cheerful and instructive entertainment + would continue to meet with the approbation of the Roman public + + <p>"The star now appeared, and was received with vociferous applause + and the simultaneous waving of sixty thousand handkerchiefs. Marcus + Marcellus Valerian (stage name--his real name is Smith,) is a + splendid specimen of physical development, and an artist of rare + merit. His management of the battle-ax is wonderful. His gayety + and his playfulness are irresistible, in his comic parts, and yet + they are inferior to his sublime conceptions in the grave realm of + tragedy. When his ax was describing fiery circles about the heads + of the bewildered barbarians, in exact time with his springing body + and his prancing legs, the audience gave way to uncontrollable + bursts of laughter; but when the back of his weapon broke the skull + of one and almost in the same instant its edge clove the other's + body in twain, the howl of enthusiastic applause that shook the + building, was the acknowledgment of a critical assemblage that he + was a master of the noblest department of his profession. If he has + a fault, (and we are sorry to even intimate that he has,) it is that + of glancing at the audience, in the midst of the most exciting + moments of the performance, as if seeking admiration. The pausing + in a fight to bow when bouquets are thrown to him is also in bad + taste. In the great left-handed combat he appeared to be looking at + the audience half the time, instead of carving his adversaries; and + when he had slain all the sophomores and was dallying with the + freshman, he stooped and snatched a bouquet as it fell, and offered + it to his adversary at a time when a blow was descending which + promised favorably to be his death-warrant. Such levity is proper + enough in the provinces, we make no doubt, but it ill suits the + dignity of the metropolis. We trust our young friend will take + these remarks in good part, for we mean them solely for his benefit. + All who know us are aware that although we are at times justly + severe upon tigers and martyrs, we never intentionally offend + gladiators. +</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote> + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p281"></a><img alt="p281.jpg (67K)" src="images/p281.jpg" height="627" width="605"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote> + <p>"The Infant Prodigy performed wonders. He overcame his four tiger + whelps with ease, and with no other hurt than the loss of a portion + of his scalp. The General Slaughter was rendered with a + faithfulness to details which reflects the highest credit upon the + late participants in it. + + <p>"Upon the whole, last night's performances shed honor not only upon + the management but upon the city that encourages and sustains such + wholesome and instructive entertainments. We would simply suggest + that the practice of vulgar young boys in the gallery of shying + peanuts and paper pellets at the tigers, and saying "Hi-yi!" and + manifesting approbation or dissatisfaction by such observations as + "Bully for the lion!" "Go it, Gladdy!" "Boots!" "Speech!" "Take + a walk round the block!" and so on, are extremely reprehensible, + when the Emperor is present, and ought to be stopped by the police. + Several times last night, when the supernumeraries entered the arena + to drag out the bodies, the young ruffians in the gallery shouted, + "Supe! supe!" and also, "Oh, what a coat!" and "Why don't you pad + them shanks?" and made use of various other remarks expressive of + derision. These things are very annoying to the audience. + + <p>"A matinee for the little folks is promised for this afternoon, on + which occasion several martyrs will be eaten by the tigers. The + regular performance will continue every night till further notice. + Material change of programme every evening. Benefit of Valerian, + Tuesday, 29th, if he lives." +</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote> +<br> +<p> +I have been a dramatic critic myself, in my time, and I was often +surprised to notice how much more I knew about Hamlet than Forrest did; +and it gratifies me to observe, now, how much better my brethren of +ancient times knew how a broad sword battle ought to be fought than the +gladiators. + + + +<br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="ch27"></a>CHAPTER XXVII. +</h2> +<p>So far, good. If any man has a right to feel proud of himself, and +satisfied, surely it is I. For I have written about the Coliseum, and +the gladiators, the martyrs, and the lions, and yet have never once used +the phrase "butchered to make a Roman holiday." I am the only free white +man of mature age, who has accomplished this since Byron originated the +expression. + +<p>Butchered to make a Roman holiday sounds well for the first seventeen or +eighteen hundred thousand times one sees it in print, but after that it +begins to grow tiresome. I find it in all the books concerning Rome--and +here latterly it reminds me of Judge Oliver. Oliver was a young lawyer, +fresh from the schools, who had gone out to the deserts of Nevada to +begin life. He found that country, and our ways of life, there, in those +early days, different from life in New England or Paris. But he put on a +woollen shirt and strapped a navy revolver to his person, took to the +bacon and beans of the country, and determined to do in Nevada as Nevada +did. Oliver accepted the situation so completely that although he must +have sorrowed over many of his trials, he never complained--that is, he +never complained but once. He, two others, and myself, started to the +new silver mines in the Humboldt mountains--he to be Probate Judge of +Humboldt county, and we to mine. The distance was two hundred miles. It +was dead of winter. We bought a two-horse wagon and put eighteen hundred +pounds of bacon, flour, beans, blasting-powder, picks and shovels in it; +we bought two sorry-looking Mexican "plugs," with the hair turned the +wrong way and more corners on their bodies than there are on the mosque +of Omar; we hitched up and started. It was a dreadful trip. But Oliver +did not complain. The horses dragged the wagon two miles from town and +then gave out. Then we three pushed the wagon seven miles, and Oliver +moved ahead and pulled the horses after him by the bits. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p285"></a><img alt="p285.jpg (22K)" src="images/p285.jpg" height="281" width="565"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>We complained, +but Oliver did not. The ground was frozen, and it froze our backs while +we slept; the wind swept across our faces and froze our noses. Oliver +did not complain. Five days of pushing the wagon by day and freezing by +night brought us to the bad part of the journey--the Forty Mile Desert, +or the Great American Desert, if you please. Still, this +mildest-mannered man that ever was, had not complained. We started across at +eight in the morning, pushing through sand that had no bottom; toiling +all day long by the wrecks of a thousand wagons, the skeletons of ten +thousand oxen; by wagon-tires enough to hoop the Washington Monument to +the top, and ox-chains enough to girdle Long Island; by human graves; +with our throats parched always, with thirst; lips bleeding from the +alkali dust; hungry, perspiring, and very, very weary--so weary that when +we dropped in the sand every fifty yards to rest the horses, we could +hardly keep from going to sleep--no complaints from Oliver: none the next +morning at three o'clock, when we got across, tired to death. + +<p>Awakened two or three nights afterward at midnight, in a narrow canon, by +the snow falling on our faces, and appalled at the imminent danger of +being "snowed in," we harnessed up and pushed on till eight in the +morning, passed the "Divide" and knew we were saved. No complaints. +Fifteen days of hardship and fatigue brought us to the end of the two +hundred miles, and the Judge had not complained. We wondered if any +thing could exasperate him. We built a Humboldt house. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p286"></a><img alt="p286.jpg (23K)" src="images/p286.jpg" height="455" width="283"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>It is done in this way. You dig a square in the steep base of the mountain, and set up +two uprights and top them with two joists. Then you stretch a great +sheet of "cotton domestic" from the point where the joists join the +hill-side down over the joists to the ground; this makes the roof and the +front of the mansion; the sides and back are the dirt walls your digging +has left. A chimney is easily made by turning up one corner of the roof. +Oliver was sitting alone in this dismal den, one night, by a sage-brush +fire, writing poetry; he was very fond of digging poetry out of +himself--or blasting it out when it came hard. He heard an animal's footsteps +close to the roof; a stone or two and some dirt came through and fell by +him. He grew uneasy and said "Hi!--clear out from there, can't +you!"--from time to time. But by and by he fell asleep where he sat, and pretty +soon a mule fell down the chimney! The fire flew in every direction, and +Oliver went over backwards. About ten nights after that, he recovered +confidence enough to go to writing poetry again. Again he dozed off to +sleep, and again a mule fell down the chimney. This time, about half of +that side of the house came in with the mule. Struggling to get up, the +mule kicked the candle out and smashed most of the kitchen furniture, and +raised considerable dust. These violent awakenings must have been +annoying to Oliver, but he never complained. He moved to a mansion on +the opposite side of the canon, because he had noticed the mules did not +go there. One night about eight o'clock he was endeavoring to finish his +poem, when a stone rolled in--then a hoof appeared below the canvas--then +part of a cow--the after part. He leaned back in dread, and shouted +"Hooy! hooy! get out of this!" and the cow struggled manfully--lost +ground steadily--dirt and dust streamed down, and before Oliver could get +well away, the entire cow crashed through on to the table and made a +shapeless wreck of every thing! + +<p>Then, for the first time in his life, I think, Oliver complained. He +said, + +<p>"This thing is growing monotonous!" + +<p>Then he resigned his judgeship and left Humboldt county. "Butchered to +make a Roman holyday" has grown monotonous to me. + +<p>In this connection I wish to say one word about Michael Angelo +Buonarotti. I used to worship the mighty genius of Michael Angelo--that +man who was great in poetry, painting, sculpture, architecture--great in +every thing he undertook. But I do not want Michael Angelo for +breakfast--for luncheon--for dinner--for tea--for supper--for between +meals. I like a change, occasionally. In Genoa, he designed every +thing; in Milan he or his pupils designed every thing; he designed the +Lake of Como; in Padua, Verona, Venice, Bologna, who did we ever hear of, +from guides, but Michael Angelo? In Florence, he painted every thing, +designed every thing, nearly, and what he did not design he used to sit +on a favorite stone and look at, and they showed us the stone. In Pisa +he designed every thing but the old shot-tower, and they would have +attributed that to him if it had not been so awfully out of the +perpendicular. He designed the piers of Leghorn and the custom house +regulations of Civita Vecchia. But, here--here it is frightful. He +designed St. Peter's; he designed the Pope; he designed the Pantheon, the +uniform of the Pope's soldiers, the Tiber, the Vatican, the Coliseum, the +Capitol, the Tarpeian Rock, the Barberini Palace, St. John Lateran, the +Campagna, the Appian Way, the Seven Hills, the Baths of Caracalla, the +Claudian Aqueduct, the Cloaca Maxima--the eternal bore designed the +Eternal City, and unless all men and books do lie, he painted every thing +in it! Dan said the other day to the guide, "Enough, enough, enough! +Say no more! Lump the whole thing! say that the Creator made Italy from +designs by Michael Angelo!" + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p288"></a><img alt="p288.jpg (19K)" src="images/p288.jpg" height="413" width="323"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>I never felt so fervently thankful, so soothed, so tranquil, so filled +with a blessed peace, as I did yesterday when I learned that Michael +Angelo was dead. + +<p>But we have taken it out of this guide. He has marched us through miles +of pictures and sculpture in the vast corridors of the Vatican; and +through miles of pictures and sculpture in twenty other palaces; he has +shown us the great picture in the Sistine Chapel, and frescoes enough to +frescoe the heavens--pretty much all done by Michael Angelo. So with him +we have played that game which has vanquished so many guides for +us--imbecility and idiotic questions. These creatures never suspect--they +have no idea of a sarcasm. + +<p>He shows us a figure and says: "Statoo brunzo." (Bronze statue.) + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p289"></a><img alt="p289.jpg (22K)" src="images/p289.jpg" height="367" width="355"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>We look at it indifferently and the doctor asks: "By Michael Angelo?" + +<p>"No--not know who." + +<p>Then he shows us the ancient Roman Forum. The doctor asks: "Michael +Angelo?" + +<p>A stare from the guide. "No--thousan' year before he is born." + +<p>Then an Egyptian obelisk. Again: "Michael Angelo?" + +<p>"Oh, mon dieu, genteelmen! Zis is two thousan' year before he is born!" + +<p>He grows so tired of that unceasing question sometimes, that he dreads to +show us any thing at all. The wretch has tried all the ways he can think +of to make us comprehend that Michael Angelo is only responsible for the +creation of a part of the world, but somehow he has not succeeded yet. +Relief for overtasked eyes and brain from study and sightseeing is +necessary, or we shall become idiotic sure enough. Therefore this guide +must continue to suffer. If he does not enjoy it, so much the worse for +him. We do. + +<p>In this place I may as well jot down a chapter concerning those necessary +nuisances, European guides. Many a man has wished in his heart he could +do without his guide; but knowing he could not, has wished he could get +some amusement out of him as a remuneration for the affliction of his +society. We accomplished this latter matter, and if our experience can +be made useful to others they are welcome to it. + +<p>Guides know about enough English to tangle every thing up so that a man +can make neither head or tail of it. They know their story by heart--the +history of every statue, painting, cathedral or other wonder they show +you. They know it and tell it as a parrot would--and if you interrupt, +and throw them off the track, they have to go back and begin over again. +All their lives long, they are employed in showing strange things to +foreigners and listening to their bursts of admiration. It is human +nature to take delight in exciting admiration. It is what prompts +children to say "smart" things, and do absurd ones, and in other ways +"show off" when company is present. It is what makes gossips turn out in +rain and storm to go and be the first to tell a startling bit of news. +Think, then, what a passion it becomes with a guide, whose privilege it +is, every day, to show to strangers wonders that throw them into perfect +ecstasies of admiration! He gets so that he could not by any possibility +live in a soberer atmosphere. After we discovered this, we never went +into ecstasies any more--we never admired any thing--we never showed any +but impassible faces and stupid indifference in the presence of the +sublimest wonders a guide had to display. We had found their weak point. +We have made good use of it ever since. We have made some of those +people savage, at times, but we have never lost our own serenity. + +<p>The doctor asks the questions, generally, because he can keep his +countenance, and look more like an inspired idiot, and throw more +imbecility into the tone of his voice than any man that lives. It comes +natural to him. + +<p>The guides in Genoa are delighted to secure an American party, because +Americans so much wonder, and deal so much in sentiment and emotion +before any relic of Columbus. Our guide there fidgeted about as if he +had swallowed a spring mattress. He was full of animation--full of +impatience. He said: + +<p>"Come wis me, genteelmen!--come! I show you ze letter writing by +Christopher Colombo!--write it himself!--write it wis his own +hand!--come!" + +<p>He took us to the municipal palace. After much impressive fumbling of +keys and opening of locks, the stained and aged document was spread +before us. The guide's eyes sparkled. He danced about us and tapped the +parchment with his finger: + +<p>"What I tell you, genteelmen! Is it not so? See! handwriting +Christopher Colombo!--write it himself!" + +<p>We looked indifferent--unconcerned. The doctor examined the document +very deliberately, during a painful pause.--Then he said, without any +show of interest: + +<p>"Ah--Ferguson--what--what did you say was the name of the party who wrote +this?" + +<p>"Christopher Colombo! ze great Christopher Colombo!" + +<p>Another deliberate examination. + +<p>"Ah--did he write it himself; or--or how?" + +<p>"He write it himself!--Christopher Colombo! He's own hand-writing, write +by himself!" + +<p>Then the doctor laid the document down and said: + +<p>"Why, I have seen boys in America only fourteen years old that could +write better than that." + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p291"></a><img alt="p291.jpg (33K)" src="images/p291.jpg" height="385" width="429"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>"But zis is ze great Christo--" + +<p>"I don't care who it is! It's the worst writing I ever saw. Now you +musn't think you can impose on us because we are strangers. We are not +fools, by a good deal. If you have got any specimens of penmanship of +real merit, trot them out!--and if you haven't, drive on!" + +<p>We drove on. The guide was considerably shaken up, but he made one more +venture. He had something which he thought would overcome us. He said: + +<p>"Ah, genteelmen, you come wis me! I show you beautiful, O, magnificent +bust Christopher Colombo!--splendid, grand, magnificent!" + +<p>He brought us before the beautiful bust--for it was beautiful--and sprang +back and struck an attitude: + +<p>"Ah, look, genteelmen!--beautiful, grand,--bust Christopher +Colombo!--beautiful bust, beautiful pedestal!" + +<p>The doctor put up his eye-glass--procured for such occasions: + +<p>"Ah--what did you say this gentleman's name was?" + +<p>"Christopher Colombo!--ze great Christopher Colombo!" + +<p>"Christopher Colombo--the great Christopher Colombo. Well, what did he +do?" + +<p>"Discover America!--discover America, Oh, ze devil!" + +<p>"Discover America. No--that statement will hardly wash. We are just +from America ourselves. We heard nothing about it. Christopher +Colombo--pleasant name--is--is he dead?" + +<p>"Oh, corpo di Baccho!--three hundred year!" + +<p>"What did he die of?" + +<p>"I do not know!--I can not tell." + +<p>"Small-pox, think?" + +<p>"I do not know, genteelmen!--I do not know what he die of!" + +<p>"Measles, likely?" + +<p>"May be--may be--I do not know--I think he die of somethings." + +<p>"Parents living?" + +<p>"Im-poseeeble!" + +<p>"Ah--which is the bust and which is the pedestal?" + +<p>"Santa Maria!--zis ze bust!--zis ze pedestal!" + +<p>"Ah, I see, I see--happy combination--very happy combination, indeed. +Is--is this the first time this gentleman was ever on a bust?" + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p293"></a><img alt="p293.jpg (41K)" src="images/p293.jpg" height="455" width="425"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>That joke was lost on the foreigner--guides can not master the subtleties +of the American joke. + +<p>We have made it interesting for this Roman guide. Yesterday we spent +three or four hours in the Vatican, again, that wonderful world of +curiosities. We came very near expressing interest, sometimes--even +admiration--it was very hard to keep from it. We succeeded though. +Nobody else ever did, in the Vatican museums. The guide was +bewildered--non-plussed. He walked his legs off, nearly, hunting up extraordinary +things, and exhausted all his ingenuity on us, but it was a failure; we +never showed any interest in any thing. He had reserved what he +considered to be his greatest wonder till the last--a royal Egyptian +mummy, the best preserved in the world, perhaps. He took us there. He +felt so sure, this time, that some of his old enthusiasm came back to +him: + +<p>"See, genteelmen!--Mummy! Mummy!" + +<p>The eye-glass came up as calmly, as deliberately as ever. + +<p>"Ah,--Ferguson--what did I understand you to say the gentleman's name +was?" + +<p>"Name?--he got no name!--Mummy!--'Gyptian mummy!" + +<p>"Yes, yes. Born here?" + +<p>"No! 'Gyptian mummy!" + +<p>"Ah, just so. Frenchman, I presume?" + +<p>"No!--not Frenchman, not Roman!--born in Egypta!" + +<p>"Born in Egypta. Never heard of Egypta before. Foreign locality, +likely. Mummy--mummy. How calm he is--how self-possessed. Is, ah--is +he dead?" + +<p>"Oh, sacre bleu, been dead three thousan' year!" + +<p>The doctor turned on him savagely: + +<p>"Here, now, what do you mean by such conduct as this! Playing us for +Chinamen because we are strangers and trying to learn! Trying to impose +your vile second-hand carcasses on us!--thunder and lightning, I've a +notion to--to--if you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!--or by +George we'll brain you!" + +<p>We make it exceedingly interesting for this Frenchman. However, he has +paid us back, partly, without knowing it. He came to the hotel this +morning to ask if we were up, and he endeavored as well as he could to +describe us, so that the landlord would know which persons he meant. He +finished with the casual remark that we were lunatics. The observation +was so innocent and so honest that it amounted to a very good thing for a +guide to say. + +<p>There is one remark (already mentioned,) which never yet has failed to +disgust these guides. We use it always, when we can think of nothing +else to say. After they have exhausted their enthusiasm pointing out to +us and praising the beauties of some ancient bronze image or +broken-legged statue, we look at it stupidly and in silence for five, ten, +fifteen minutes--as long as we can hold out, in fact--and then ask: + +<p>"Is--is he dead?" + +<p>That conquers the serenest of them. It is not what they are looking +for--especially a new guide. Our Roman Ferguson is the most patient, +unsuspecting, long-suffering subject we have had yet. We shall be sorry +to part with him. We have enjoyed his society very much. We trust he +has enjoyed ours, but we are harassed with doubts. + +<p>We have been in the catacombs. It was like going down into a very deep +cellar, only it was a cellar which had no end to it. The narrow passages +are roughly hewn in the rock, and on each hand as you pass along, the +hollowed shelves are carved out, from three to fourteen deep; each held a +corpse once. There are names, and Christian symbols, and prayers, or +sentences expressive of Christian hopes, carved upon nearly every +sarcophagus. The dates belong away back in the dawn of the Christian +era, of course. Here, in these holes in the ground, the first Christians +sometimes burrowed to escape persecution. They crawled out at night to +get food, but remained under cover in the day time. The priest told us +that St. Sebastian lived under ground for some time while he was being +hunted; he went out one day, and the soldiery discovered and shot him to +death with arrows. Five or six of the early Popes--those who reigned +about sixteen hundred years ago--held their papal courts and advised with +their clergy in the bowels of the earth. During seventeen years--from +A.D. 235 to A.D. 252--the Popes did not appear above ground. Four were +raised to the great office during that period. Four years apiece, or +thereabouts. It is very suggestive of the unhealthiness of underground +graveyards as places of residence. One Pope afterward spent his entire +pontificate in the catacombs--eight years. Another was discovered in +them and murdered in the episcopal chair. There was no satisfaction in +being a Pope in those days. There were too many annoyances. There are +one hundred and sixty catacombs under Rome, each with its maze of narrow +passages crossing and recrossing each other and each passage walled to +the top with scooped graves its entire length. A careful estimate makes +the length of the passages of all the catacombs combined foot up nine +hundred miles, and their graves number seven millions. We did not go +through all the passages of all the catacombs. We were very anxious to +do it, and made the necessary arrangements, but our too limited time +obliged us to give up the idea. So we only groped through the dismal +labyrinth of St. Callixtus, under the Church of St. Sebastian. In the +various catacombs are small chapels rudely hewn in the stones, and here +the early Christians often held their religious services by dim, ghostly +lights. Think of mass and a sermon away down in those tangled caverns +under ground! + +<p>In the catacombs were buried St. Cecilia, St. Agnes, and several other of +the most celebrated of the saints. In the catacomb of St. Callixtus, St. +Bridget used to remain long hours in holy contemplation, and St. Charles +Borromeo was wont to spend whole nights in prayer there. It was also the +scene of a very marvelous thing. + +<blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote> + <p>"Here the heart of St. Philip Neri was so inflamed with divine love + as to burst his ribs." +</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>I find that grave statement in a book published in New York in 1808, and +written by "Rev. William H. Neligan, LL.D., M. A., Trinity College, +Dublin; Member of the Archaeological Society of Great Britain." +Therefore, I believe it. Otherwise, I could not. Under other +circumstances I should have felt a curiosity to know what Philip had for +dinner. + +<p>This author puts my credulity on its mettle every now and then. He tells +of one St. Joseph Calasanctius whose house in Rome he visited; he visited +only the house--the priest has been dead two hundred years. He says the +Virgin Mary appeared to this saint. Then he continues: +<br><br> +<blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote> +<p> "His tongue and his heart, which were found after nearly a century + to be whole, when the body was disinterred before his canonization, + are still preserved in a glass case, and after two centuries the + heart is still whole. When the French troops came to Rome, and when + Pius VII. was carried away prisoner, blood dropped from it." +</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote> + +<p>To read that in a book written by a monk far back in the Middle Ages, +would surprise no one; it would sound natural and proper; but when it is +seriously stated in the middle of the nineteenth century, by a man of +finished education, an LL.D., M. A., and an Archaeological magnate, it +sounds strangely enough. Still, I would gladly change my unbelief for +Neligan's faith, and let him make the conditions as hard as he pleased. + +<p>The old gentleman's undoubting, unquestioning simplicity has a rare +freshness about it in these matter-of-fact railroading and telegraphing +days. Hear him, concerning the church of Ara Coeli: +<br><br> +<blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote> +<p> "In the roof of the church, directly above the high altar, is + engraved, 'Regina Coeli laetare Alleluia." In the sixth century + Rome was visited by a fearful pestilence. Gregory the Great urged + the people to do penance, and a general procession was formed. It + was to proceed from Ara Coeli to St. Peter's. As it passed before + the mole of Adrian, now the Castle of St. Angelo, the sound of + heavenly voices was heard singing (it was Easter morn,) Regina + Coeli, laetare! alleluia! quia quem meruisti portare, alleluia! + resurrexit sicut dixit; alleluia!" The Pontiff, carrying in his + hands the portrait of the Virgin, (which is over the high altar and + is said to have been painted by St. Luke,) answered, with the + astonished people, 'Ora pro nobis Deum, alleluia!' At the same time + an angel was seen to put up a sword in a scabbard, and the + pestilence ceased on the same day. There are four circumstances + which 'CONFIRM'--[The italics are mine--M. T.]--this miracle: the + annual procession which takes place in the western church on the + feast of St Mark; the statue of St. Michael, placed on the mole of + Adrian, which has since that time been called the Castle of St. + Angelo; the antiphon Regina Coeli which the Catholic church sings + during paschal time; and the inscription in the church." +</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote> + + +<br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="ch28"></a>CHAPTER XXVIII. +</h2> +<p>From the sanguinary sports of the Holy Inquisition; the slaughter of the +Coliseum; and the dismal tombs of the Catacombs, I naturally pass to the +picturesque horrors of the Capuchin Convent. We stopped a moment in a +small chapel in the church to admire a picture of St. Michael vanquishing +Satan--a picture which is so beautiful that I can not but think it +belongs to the reviled "Renaissance," notwithstanding I believe they told +us one of the ancient old masters painted it--and then we descended into +the vast vault underneath. + +<p>Here was a spectacle for sensitive nerves! Evidently the old masters had +been at work in this place. There were six divisions in the apartment, +and each division was ornamented with a style of decoration peculiar to +itself--and these decorations were in every instance formed of human +bones! There were shapely arches, built wholly of thigh bones; there +were startling pyramids, built wholly of grinning skulls; there were +quaint architectural structures of various kinds, built of shin bones and +the bones of the arm; on the wall were elaborate frescoes, whose curving +vines were made of knotted human vertebrae; whose delicate tendrils were +made of sinews and tendons; whose flowers were formed of knee-caps and +toe-nails. Every lasting portion of the human frame was represented in +these intricate designs (they were by Michael Angelo, I think,) and there +was a careful finish about the work, and an attention to details that +betrayed the artist's love of his labors as well as his schooled ability. +I asked the good-natured monk who accompanied us, who did this? And he +said, "We did it"--meaning himself and his brethren up stairs. I could +see that the old friar took a high pride in his curious show. We made +him talkative by exhibiting an interest we never betrayed to guides. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p299"></a><img alt="p299.jpg (59K)" src="images/p299.jpg" height="621" width="433"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>"Who were these people?" + +<p>"We--up stairs--Monks of the Capuchin order--my brethren." + +<p>"How many departed monks were required to upholster these six parlors?" + +<p>"These are the bones of four thousand." + +<p>"It took a long time to get enough?" + +<p>"Many, many centuries." + +<p>"Their different parts are well separated--skulls in one room, legs in +another, ribs in another--there would be stirring times here for a while +if the last trump should blow. Some of the brethren might get hold of +the wrong leg, in the confusion, and the wrong skull, and find themselves +limping, and looking through eyes that were wider apart or closer +together than they were used to. You can not tell any of these parties +apart, I suppose?" + +<p>"Oh, yes, I know many of them." + +<p>He put his finger on a skull. "This was Brother Anselmo--dead three +hundred years--a good man." + +<p>He touched another. "This was Brother Alexander--dead two hundred and +eighty years. This was Brother Carlo--dead about as long." + +<p>Then he took a skull and held it in his hand, and looked reflectively +upon it, after the manner of the grave-digger when he discourses of +Yorick. + +<p>"This," he said, "was Brother Thomas. He was a young prince, the scion +of a proud house that traced its lineage back to the grand old days of +Rome well nigh two thousand years ago. He loved beneath his estate. His +family persecuted him; persecuted the girl, as well. They drove her from +Rome; he followed; he sought her far and wide; he found no trace of her. +He came back and offered his broken heart at our altar and his weary life +to the service of God. But look you. Shortly his father died, and +likewise his mother. The girl returned, rejoicing. She sought every +where for him whose eyes had used to look tenderly into hers out of this +poor skull, but she could not find him. At last, in this coarse garb we +wear, she recognized him in the street. He knew her. It was too late. +He fell where he stood. They took him up and brought him here. He never +spoke afterward. Within the week he died. You can see the color of his +hair--faded, somewhat--by this thin shred that clings still to the +temple. This, [taking up a thigh bone,] was his. The veins of this +leaf in the decorations over your head, were his finger-joints, a hundred +and fifty years ago." + +<p>This business-like way of illustrating a touching story of the heart by +laying the several fragments of the lover before us and naming them, was +as grotesque a performance, and as ghastly, as any I ever witnessed. I +hardly knew whether to smile or shudder. There are nerves and muscles in +our frames whose functions and whose methods of working it seems a sort +of sacrilege to describe by cold physiological names and surgical +technicalities, and the monk's talk suggested to me something of this +kind. Fancy a surgeon, with his nippers lifting tendons, muscles and +such things into view, out of the complex machinery of a corpse, and +observing, "Now this little nerve quivers--the vibration is imparted to +this muscle--from here it is passed to this fibrous substance; here its +ingredients are separated by the chemical action of the blood--one part +goes to the heart and thrills it with what is popularly termed emotion, +another part follows this nerve to the brain and communicates +intelligence of a startling character--the third part glides along this +passage and touches the spring connected with the fluid receptacles that +lie in the rear of the eye. Thus, by this simple and beautiful process, +the party is informed that his mother is dead, and he weeps." Horrible! + +<p>I asked the monk if all the brethren up stairs expected to be put in this +place when they died. He answered quietly: + +<p>"We must all lie here at last." + +<p>See what one can accustom himself to.--The reflection that he must some +day be taken apart like an engine or a clock, or like a house whose owner +is gone, and worked up into arches and pyramids and hideous frescoes, did +not distress this monk in the least. I thought he even looked as if he +were thinking, with complacent vanity, that his own skull would look well +on top of the heap and his own ribs add a charm to the frescoes which +possibly they lacked at present. + +<p>Here and there, in ornamental alcoves, stretched upon beds of bones, lay +dead and dried-up monks, with lank frames dressed in the black robes one +sees ordinarily upon priests. We examined one closely. The skinny hands +were clasped upon the breast; two lustreless tufts of hair stuck to the +skull; the skin was brown and sunken; it stretched tightly over the cheek +bones and made them stand out sharply; the crisp dead eyes were deep in +the sockets; the nostrils were painfully prominent, the end of the nose +being gone; the lips had shriveled away from the yellow teeth: and +brought down to us through the circling years, and petrified there, was a +weird laugh a full century old! + +<p>It was the jolliest laugh, but yet the most dreadful, that one can +imagine. Surely, I thought, it must have been a most extraordinary joke +this veteran produced with his latest breath, that he has not got done +laughing at it yet. At this moment I saw that the old instinct was +strong upon the boys, and I said we had better hurry to St. Peter's. +They were trying to keep from asking, "Is--is he dead?" + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p302"></a><img alt="p302.jpg (28K)" src="images/p302.jpg" height="401" width="447"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>It makes me dizzy, to think of the Vatican--of its wilderness of statues, +paintings, and curiosities of every description and every age. The "old +masters" (especially in sculpture,) fairly swarm, there. I can not write +about the Vatican. I think I shall never remember any thing I saw there +distinctly but the mummies, and the Transfiguration, by Raphael, and some +other things it is not necessary to mention now. I shall remember the +Transfiguration partly because it was placed in a room almost by itself; +partly because it is acknowledged by all to be the first oil painting in +the world; and partly because it was wonderfully beautiful. The colors +are fresh and rich, the "expression," I am told, is fine, the "feeling" +is lively, the "tone" is good, the "depth" is profound, and the width is +about four and a half feet, I should judge. It is a picture that really +holds one's attention; its beauty is fascinating. It is fine enough to +be a Renaissance. A remark I made a while ago suggests a thought--and a +hope. Is it not possible that the reason I find such charms in this +picture is because it is out of the crazy chaos of the galleries? If +some of the others were set apart, might not they be beautiful? If this +were set in the midst of the tempest of pictures one finds in the vast +galleries of the Roman palaces, would I think it so handsome? If, up to +this time, I had seen only one "old master" in each palace, instead of +acres and acres of walls and ceilings fairly papered with them, might I +not have a more civilized opinion of the old masters than I have now? I +think so. When I was a school-boy and was to have a new knife, I could +not make up my mind as to which was the prettiest in the show-case, and I +did not think any of them were particularly pretty; and so I chose with a +heavy heart. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p303"></a><img alt="p303.jpg (14K)" src="images/p303.jpg" height="359" width="239"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>But when I looked at my purchase, at home, where no +glittering blades came into competition with it, I was astonished to see +how handsome it was. To this day my new hats look better out of the shop +than they did in it with other new hats. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p304"></a><img alt="p304.jpg (13K)" src="images/p304.jpg" height="365" width="251"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>It begins to dawn upon me, now, +that possibly, what I have been taking for uniform ugliness in the +galleries may be uniform beauty after all. I honestly hope it is, to +others, but certainly it is not to me. Perhaps the reason I used to +enjoy going to the Academy of Fine Arts in New York was because there +were but a few hundred paintings in it, and it did not surfeit me to go +through the list. I suppose the Academy was bacon and beans in the +Forty-Mile Desert, and a European gallery is a state dinner of thirteen +courses. One leaves no sign after him of the one dish, but the thirteen +frighten away his appetite and give him no satisfaction. + +<p>There is one thing I am certain of, though. With all the Michael +Angelos, the Raphaels, the Guidos and the other old masters, the sublime +history of Rome remains unpainted! They painted Virgins enough, and +popes enough and saintly scarecrows enough, to people Paradise, almost, +and these things are all they did paint. "Nero fiddling o'er burning +Rome," the assassination of Caesar, the stirring spectacle of a hundred +thousand people bending forward with rapt interest, in the coliseum, to +see two skillful gladiators hacking away each others' lives, a tiger +springing upon a kneeling martyr--these and a thousand other matters +which we read of with a living interest, must be sought for only in +books--not among the rubbish left by the old masters--who are no more, I +have the satisfaction of informing the public. + +<p>They did paint, and they did carve in marble, one historical scene, and +one only, (of any great historical consequence.) And what was it and why +did they choose it, particularly? It was the Rape of the Sabines, and +they chose it for the legs and busts. + +<p>I like to look at statues, however, and I like to look at pictures, +also--even of monks looking up in sacred ecstacy, and monks looking down in +meditation, and monks skirmishing for something to eat--and therefore I +drop ill nature to thank the papal government for so jealously guarding +and so industriously gathering up these things; and for permitting me, a +stranger and not an entirely friendly one, to roam at will and unmolested +among them, charging me nothing, and only requiring that I shall behave +myself simply as well as I ought to behave in any other man's house. I +thank the Holy Father right heartily, and I wish him long life and plenty +of happiness. + +<p>The Popes have long been the patrons and preservers of art, just as our +new, practical Republic is the encourager and upholder of mechanics. In +their Vatican is stored up all that is curious and beautiful in art; in +our Patent Office is hoarded all that is curious or useful in mechanics. +When a man invents a new style of horse-collar or discovers a new and +superior method of telegraphing, our government issues a patent to him +that is worth a fortune; when a man digs up an ancient statue in the +Campagna, the Pope gives him a fortune in gold coin. We can make +something of a guess at a man's character by the style of nose he carries +on his face. The Vatican and the Patent Office are governmental noses, +and they bear a deal of character about them. + +<p>The guide showed us a colossal statue of Jupiter, in the Vatican, which +he said looked so damaged and rusty--so like the God of the +Vagabonds--because it had but recently been dug up in the Campagna. He asked how +much we supposed this Jupiter was worth? I replied, with intelligent +promptness, that he was probably worth about four dollars--may be four +and a half. "A hundred thousand dollars!" Ferguson said. Ferguson +said, further, that the Pope permits no ancient work of this kind to +leave his dominions. He appoints a commission to examine discoveries +like this and report upon the value; then the Pope pays the discoverer +one-half of that assessed value and takes the statue. He said this +Jupiter was dug from a field which had just been bought for thirty-six +thousand dollars, so the first crop was a good one for the new farmer. +I do not know whether Ferguson always tells the truth or not, but I +suppose he does. I know that an exorbitant export duty is exacted upon +all pictures painted by the old masters, in order to discourage the sale +of those in the private collections. I am satisfied, also, that genuine +old masters hardly exist at all, in America, because the cheapest and +most insignificant of them are valued at the price of a fine farm. I +proposed to buy a small trifle of a Raphael, myself, but the price of it +was eighty thousand dollars, the export duty would have made it +considerably over a hundred, and so I studied on it awhile and concluded +not to take it. + +<p>I wish here to mention an inscription I have seen, before I forget it: + +<p>"Glory to God in the highest, peace on earth TO MEN OF GOOD WILL!" It is +not good scripture, but it is sound Catholic and human nature. + +<p>This is in letters of gold around the apsis of a mosaic group at the side +of the 'scala santa', church of St. John Lateran, the Mother and Mistress +of all the Catholic churches of the world. The group represents the +Saviour, St. Peter, Pope Leo, St. Silvester, Constantine and Charlemagne. +Peter is giving the pallium to the Pope, and a standard to Charlemagne. +The Saviour is giving the keys to St. Silvester, and a standard to +Constantine. No prayer is offered to the Saviour, who seems to be of +little importance any where in Rome; but an inscription below says, +"Blessed Peter, give life to Pope Leo and victory to king Charles." It +does not say, "Intercede for us, through the Saviour, with the Father, +for this boon," but "Blessed Peter, give it us." + +<p>In all seriousness--without meaning to be frivolous--without meaning to +be irreverent, and more than all, without meaning to be blasphemous,--I +state as my simple deduction from the things I have seen and the things I +have heard, that the Holy Personages rank thus in Rome: + +<p>First--"The Mother of God"--otherwise the Virgin Mary. + +<p>Second--The Deity. + +<p>Third--Peter. + +<p>Fourth--Some twelve or fifteen canonized Popes and martyrs. + +<p>Fifth--Jesus Christ the Saviour--(but always as an infant in arms.) + +<p>I may be wrong in this--my judgment errs often, just as is the case with +other men's--but it is my judgment, be it good or bad. + +<p>Just here I will mention something that seems curious to me. There are +no "Christ's Churches" in Rome, and no "Churches of the Holy Ghost," that +I can discover. There are some four hundred churches, but about a fourth +of them seem to be named for the Madonna and St. Peter. There are so +many named for Mary that they have to be distinguished by all sorts of +affixes, if I understand the matter rightly. Then we have churches of +St. Louis; St. Augustine; St. Agnes; St. Calixtus; St. Lorenzo in Lucina; +St. Lorenzo in Damaso; St. Cecilia; St. Athanasius; St. Philip Neri; St. +Catherine, St. Dominico, and a multitude of lesser saints whose names are +not familiar in the world--and away down, clear out of the list of the +churches, comes a couple of hospitals: one of them is named for the +Saviour and the other for the Holy Ghost! + +<p>Day after day and night after night we have wandered among the crumbling +wonders of Rome; day after day and night after night we have fed upon the +dust and decay of five-and-twenty centuries--have brooded over them by +day and dreampt of them by night till sometimes we seemed moldering away +ourselves, and growing defaced and cornerless, and liable at any moment +to fall a prey to some antiquary and be patched in the legs, and +"restored" with an unseemly nose, and labeled wrong and dated wrong, and +set up in the Vatican for poets to drivel about and vandals to scribble +their names on forever and forevermore. + +<p>But the surest way to stop writing about Rome is to stop. I wished to +write a real "guide-book" chapter on this fascinating city, but I could +not do it, because I have felt all the time like a boy in a +candy-shop--there was every thing to choose from, and yet no choice. I have drifted +along hopelessly for a hundred pages of manuscript without knowing where +to commence. I will not commence at all. Our passports have been +examined. We will go to Naples. + + + +<br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="ch29"></a>CHAPTER XXIX. +</h2> +<p>The ship is lying here in the harbor of Naples--quarantined. She has +been here several days and will remain several more. We that came by +rail from Rome have escaped this misfortune. Of course no one is allowed +to go on board the ship, or come ashore from her. She is a prison, now. +The passengers probably spend the long, blazing days looking out from +under the awnings at Vesuvius and the beautiful city--and in swearing. +Think of ten days of this sort of pastime!--We go out every day in a boat +and request them to come ashore. It soothes them. We lie ten steps from +the ship and tell them how splendid the city is; and how much better the +hotel fare is here than any where else in Europe; and how cool it is; and +what frozen continents of ice cream there are; and what a time we are +having cavorting about the country and sailing to the islands in the Bay. +This tranquilizes them. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p309"></a><img alt="p309.jpg (20K)" src="images/p309.jpg" height="497" width="319"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + + <center><h3>ASCENT OF VESUVIUS.</h3></center> + +<p>I shall remember our trip to Vesuvius for many a day--partly because of +its sight-seeing experiences, but chiefly on account of the fatigue of +the journey. Two or three of us had been resting ourselves among the +tranquil and beautiful scenery of the island of Ischia, eighteen miles +out in the harbor, for two days; we called it "resting," but I do not +remember now what the resting consisted of, for when we got back to +Naples we had not slept for forty-eight hours. We were just about to go +to bed early in the evening, and catch up on some of the sleep we had +lost, when we heard of this Vesuvius expedition. There was to be eight +of us in the party, and we were to leave Naples at midnight. We laid in +some provisions for the trip, engaged carriages to take us to +Annunciation, and then moved about the city, to keep awake, till twelve. +We got away punctually, and in the course of an hour and a half arrived +at the town of Annunciation. Annunciation is the very last place under +the sun. In other towns in Italy the people lie around quietly and wait +for you to ask them a question or do some overt act that can be charged +for--but in Annunciation they have lost even that fragment of delicacy; +they seize a lady's shawl from a chair and hand it to her and charge a +penny; they open a carriage door, and charge for it--shut it when you get +out, and charge for it; they help you to take off a duster--two cents; +brush your clothes and make them worse than they were before--two cents; +smile upon you--two cents; bow, with a lick-spittle smirk, hat in +hand--two cents; they volunteer all information, such as that the mules will +arrive presently--two cents--warm day, sir--two cents--take you four +hours to make the ascent--two cents. And so they go. They crowd +you--infest you--swarm about you, and sweat and smell offensively, and look +sneaking and mean, and obsequious. There is no office too degrading for +them to perform, for money. I have had no opportunity to find out any +thing about the upper classes by my own observation, but from what I hear +said about them I judge that what they lack in one or two of the bad +traits the canaille have, they make up in one or two others that are +worse. How the people beg!--many of them very well dressed, too. + +<p>I said I knew nothing against the upper classes by personal observation. +I must recall it! I had forgotten. What I saw their bravest and their +fairest do last night, the lowest multitude that could be scraped up out +of the purlieus of Christendom would blush to do, I think. They +assembled by hundreds, and even thousands, in the great Theatre of San +Carlo, to do--what? Why, simply, to make fun of an old woman--to deride, +to hiss, to jeer at an actress they once worshipped, but whose beauty is +faded now and whose voice has lost its former richness. Every body spoke +of the rare sport there was to be. They said the theatre would be +crammed, because Frezzolini was going to sing. It was said she could not +sing well, now, but then the people liked to see her, anyhow. And so we +went. And every time the woman sang they hissed and laughed--the whole +magnificent house--and as soon as she left the stage they called her on +again with applause. Once or twice she was encored five and six times in +succession, and received with hisses when she appeared, and discharged +with hisses and laughter when she had finished--then instantly encored +and insulted again! And how the high-born knaves enjoyed it! +White-kidded gentlemen and ladies laughed till the tears came, and clapped +their hands in very ecstacy when that unhappy old woman would come meekly +out for the sixth time, with uncomplaining patience, to meet a storm of +hisses! It was the cruelest exhibition--the most wanton, the most +unfeeling. The singer would have conquered an audience of American +rowdies by her brave, unflinching tranquillity (for she answered encore +after encore, and smiled and bowed pleasantly, and sang the best she +possibly could, and went bowing off, through all the jeers and hisses, +without ever losing countenance or temper:) and surely in any other land +than Italy her sex and her helplessness must have been an ample +protection to her--she could have needed no other. Think what a +multitude of small souls were crowded into that theatre last night. If +the manager could have filled his theatre with Neapolitan souls alone, +without the bodies, he could not have cleared less than ninety millions +of dollars. What traits of character must a man have to enable him to +help three thousand miscreants to hiss, and jeer, and laugh at one +friendless old woman, and shamefully humiliate her? He must have all the +vile, mean traits there are. My observation persuades me (I do not like +to venture beyond my own personal observation,) that the upper classes of +Naples possess those traits of character. Otherwise they may be very +good people; I can not say. + +<center><h3> ASCENT OF VESUVIUS--CONTINUED. +</h3></center> +<p>In this city of Naples, they believe in and support one of the +wretchedest of all the religious impostures one can find in Italy--the +miraculous liquefaction of the blood of St. Januarius. Twice a year the +priests assemble all the people at the Cathedral, and get out this vial +of clotted blood and let them see it slowly dissolve and become +liquid--and every day for eight days, this dismal farce is repeated, while the +priests go among the crowd and collect money for the exhibition. The +first day, the blood liquefies in forty-seven minutes--the church is +crammed, then, and time must be allowed the collectors to get around: +after that it liquefies a little quicker and a little quicker, every day, +as the houses grow smaller, till on the eighth day, with only a few +dozens present to see the miracle, it liquefies in four minutes. + +<p>And here, also, they used to have a grand procession, of priests, +citizens, soldiers, sailors, and the high dignitaries of the City +Government, once a year, to shave the head of a made-up Madonna--a +stuffed and painted image, like a milliner's dummy--whose hair +miraculously grew and restored itself every twelve months. They still +kept up this shaving procession as late as four or five years ago. It +was a source of great profit to the church that possessed the remarkable +effigy, and the ceremony of the public barbering of her was always +carried out with the greatest possible eclat and display--the more the +better, because the more excitement there was about it the larger the +crowds it drew and the heavier the revenues it produced--but at last a +day came when the Pope and his servants were unpopular in Naples, and the +City Government stopped the Madonna's annual show. + +<p>There we have two specimens of these Neapolitans--two of the silliest +possible frauds, which half the population religiously and faithfully +believed, and the other half either believed also or else said nothing +about, and thus lent themselves to the support of the imposture. I am +very well satisfied to think the whole population believed in those poor, +cheap miracles--a people who want two cents every time they bow to you, +and who abuse a woman, are capable of it, I think. + + +<center><h3> ASCENT OF VESUVIUS--CONTINUED. +</h3></center> +<p>These Neapolitans always ask four times as much money as they intend to +take, but if you give them what they first demand, they feel ashamed of +themselves for aiming so low, and immediately ask more. When money is to +be paid and received, there is always some vehement jawing and +gesticulating about it. One can not buy and pay for two cents' worth of +clams without trouble and a quarrel. One "course," in a two-horse +carriage, costs a franc--that is law--but the hackman always demands +more, on some pretence or other, and if he gets it he makes a new demand. +It is said that a stranger took a one-horse carriage for a +course--tariff, half a franc. He gave the man five francs, by way of experiment. +He demanded more, and received another franc. Again he demanded more, +and got a franc--demanded more, and it was refused. He grew +vehement--was again refused, and became noisy. The stranger said, "Well, give me +the seven francs again, and I will see what I can do"--and when he got +them, he handed the hackman half a franc, and he immediately asked for +two cents to buy a drink with. It may be thought that I am prejudiced. + +<p>Perhaps I am. I would be ashamed of myself if I were not. + + +<center><h3> ASCENT OF VESUVIUS--CONTINUED. +</h3></center> +<p>Well, as I was saying, we got our mules and horses, after an hour and a +half of bargaining with the population of Annunciation, and started +sleepily up the mountain, with a vagrant at each mule's tail who +pretended to be driving the brute along, but was really holding on and +getting himself dragged up instead. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p313"></a><img alt="p313.jpg (35K)" src="images/p313.jpg" height="621" width="439"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>I made slow headway at first, but I +began to get dissatisfied at the idea of paying my minion five francs to +hold my mule back by the tail and keep him from going up the hill, and so +I discharged him. I got along faster then. + +<p>We had one magnificent picture of Naples from a high point on the +mountain side. We saw nothing but the gas lamps, of course--two-thirds +of a circle, skirting the great Bay--a necklace of diamonds glinting up +through the darkness from the remote distance--less brilliant than the +stars overhead, but more softly, richly beautiful--and over all the great +city the lights crossed and recrossed each other in many and many a +sparkling line and curve. And back of the town, far around and abroad +over the miles of level campagna, were scattered rows, and circles, and +clusters of lights, all glowing like so many gems, and marking where a +score of villages were sleeping. About this time, the fellow who was +hanging on to the tail of the horse in front of me and practicing all +sorts of unnecessary cruelty upon the animal, got kicked some fourteen +rods, and this incident, together with the fairy spectacle of the lights +far in the distance, made me serenely happy, and I was glad I started to +Vesuvius. + + +<center><h3> ASCENT OF MOUNT VESUVIUS--CONTINUED. +</h3></center> +<p>This subject will be excellent matter for a chapter, and tomorrow or next +day I will write it. + + + +<br><br><br><br><br><br> +<h2><a name="ch30"></a>CHAPTER XXX. +</h2> + +<center><h3> ASCENT OF VESUVIUS--CONTINUED. +</h3></center> +<p>"See Naples and die." Well, I do not know that one would necessarily die +after merely seeing it, but to attempt to live there might turn out a +little differently. To see Naples as we saw it in the early dawn from +far up on the side of Vesuvius, is to see a picture of wonderful beauty. +At that distance its dingy buildings looked white--and so, rank on rank +of balconies, windows and roofs, they piled themselves up from the blue +ocean till the colossal castle of St. Elmo topped the grand white pyramid +and gave the picture symmetry, emphasis and completeness. And when its +lilies turned to roses--when it blushed under the sun's first kiss--it +was beautiful beyond all description. One might well say, then, "See +Naples and die." The frame of the picture was charming, itself. In +front, the smooth sea--a vast mosaic of many colors; the lofty islands +swimming in a dreamy haze in the distance; at our end of the city the +stately double peak of Vesuvius, and its strong black ribs and seams of +lava stretching down to the limitless level campagna--a green carpet that +enchants the eye and leads it on and on, past clusters of trees, and +isolated houses, and snowy villages, until it shreds out in a fringe of +mist and general vagueness far away. It is from the Hermitage, there on +the side of Vesuvius, that one should "see Naples and die." + +<p>But do not go within the walls and look at it in detail. That takes away +some of the romance of the thing. The people are filthy in their habits, +and this makes filthy streets and breeds disagreeable sights and smells. +There never was a community so prejudiced against the cholera as these +Neapolitans are. But they have good reason to be. The cholera generally +vanquishes a Neapolitan when it seizes him, because, you understand, +before the doctor can dig through the dirt and get at the disease the man +dies. The upper classes take a sea-bath every day, and are pretty +decent. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p316"></a><img alt="p316.jpg (20K)" src="images/p316.jpg" height="335" width="433"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>The streets are generally about wide enough for one wagon, and how they +do swarm with people! It is Broadway repeated in every street, in every +court, in every alley! Such masses, such throngs, such multitudes of +hurrying, bustling, struggling humanity! We never saw the like of it, +hardly even in New York, I think. There are seldom any sidewalks, and +when there are, they are not often wide enough to pass a man on without +caroming on him. So everybody walks in the street--and where the street +is wide enough, carriages are forever dashing along. Why a thousand +people are not run over and crippled every day is a mystery that no man +can solve. But if there is an eighth wonder in the world, it must be the +dwelling-houses of Naples. I honestly believe a good majority of them +are a hundred feet high! And the solid brick walls are seven feet +through. You go up nine flights of stairs before you get to the "first" +floor. No, not nine, but there or thereabouts. There is a little +bird-cage of an iron railing in front of every window clear away up, up, up, +among the eternal clouds, where the roof is, and there is always somebody +looking out of every window--people of ordinary size looking out from the +first floor, people a shade smaller from the second, people that look a +little smaller yet from the third--and from thence upward they grow +smaller and smaller by a regularly graduated diminution, till the folks +in the topmost windows seem more like birds in an uncommonly tall +martin-box than any thing else. The perspective of one of these narrow cracks +of streets, with its rows of tall houses stretching away till they come +together in the distance like railway tracks; its clothes-lines crossing +over at all altitudes and waving their bannered raggedness over the +swarms of people below; and the white-dressed women perched in balcony +railings all the way from the pavement up to the heavens--a perspective +like that is really worth going into Neapolitan details to see. + + + <center><h3>ASCENT OF VESUVIUS--CONTINUED.</h3></center> + +<p>Naples, with its immediate suburbs, contains six hundred and twenty-five +thousand inhabitants, but I am satisfied it covers no more ground than an +American city of one hundred and fifty thousand. It reaches up into the +air infinitely higher than three American cities, though, and there is +where the secret of it lies. I will observe here, in passing, that the +contrasts between opulence and poverty, and magnificence and misery, are +more frequent and more striking in Naples than in Paris even. One must +go to the Bois de Boulogne to see fashionable dressing, splendid +equipages and stunning liveries, and to the Faubourg St. Antoine to see +vice, misery, hunger, rags, dirt--but in the thoroughfares of Naples +these things are all mixed together. Naked boys of nine years and the +fancy-dressed children of luxury; shreds and tatters, and brilliant +uniforms; jackass-carts and state-carriages; beggars, Princes and +Bishops, jostle each other in every street. At six o'clock every +evening, all Naples turns out to drive on the 'Riviere di Chiaja', +(whatever that may mean;) and for two hours one may stand there and see +the motliest and the worst mixed procession go by that ever eyes beheld. +Princes (there are more Princes than policemen in Naples--the city is +infested with them)--Princes who live up seven flights of stairs and +don't own any principalities, will keep a carriage and go hungry; and +clerks, mechanics, milliners and strumpets will go without their dinners +and squander the money on a hack-ride in the Chiaja; the rag-tag and +rubbish of the city stack themselves up, to the number of twenty or +thirty, on a rickety little go-cart hauled by a donkey not much bigger +than a cat, and they drive in the Chiaja; Dukes and bankers, in sumptuous +carriages and with gorgeous drivers and footmen, turn out, also, and so +the furious procession goes. For two hours rank and wealth, and +obscurity and poverty clatter along side by side in the wild procession, +and then go home serene, happy, covered with glory! + +<p>I was looking at a magnificent marble staircase in the King's palace, the +other day, which, it was said, cost five million francs, and I suppose it +did cost half a million, may be. I felt as if it must be a fine thing to +live in a country where there was such comfort and such luxury as this. +And then I stepped out musing, and almost walked over a vagabond who was +eating his dinner on the curbstone--a piece of bread and a bunch of +grapes. When I found that this mustang was clerking in a fruit +establishment (he had the establishment along with him in a basket,) at +two cents a day, and that he had no palace at home where he lived, I lost +some of my enthusiasm concerning the happiness of living in Italy. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p319"></a><img alt="p319.jpg (20K)" src="images/p319.jpg" height="449" width="291"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>This naturally suggests to me a thought about wages here. Lieutenants in +the army get about a dollar a day, and common soldiers a couple of cents. +I only know one clerk--he gets four dollars a month. Printers get six +dollars and a half a month, but I have heard of a foreman who gets +thirteen. + +<p>To be growing suddenly and violently rich, as this man is, naturally +makes him a bloated aristocrat. The airs he puts on are insufferable. + +<p>And, speaking of wages, reminds me of prices of merchandise. In Paris +you pay twelve dollars a dozen for Jouvin's best kid gloves; gloves of +about as good quality sell here at three or four dollars a dozen. You +pay five and six dollars apiece for fine linen shirts in Paris; here and +in Leghorn you pay two and a half. In Marseilles you pay forty dollars +for a first-class dress coat made by a good tailor, but in Leghorn you +can get a full dress suit for the same money. Here you get handsome +business suits at from ten to twenty dollars, and in Leghorn you can get +an overcoat for fifteen dollars that would cost you seventy in New York. +Fine kid boots are worth eight dollars in Marseilles and four dollars +here. Lyons velvets rank higher in America than those of Genoa. Yet the +bulk of Lyons velvets you buy in the States are made in Genoa and +imported into Lyons, where they receive the Lyons stamp and are then +exported to America. You can buy enough velvet in Genoa for twenty-five +dollars to make a five hundred dollar cloak in New York--so the ladies +tell me. Of course these things bring me back, by a natural and easy +transition, to the + +<center><h3> ASCENT OF VESUVIUS--CONTINUED. +</h3></center> +<p>And thus the wonderful Blue Grotto is suggested to me. It is situated on +the Island of Capri, twenty-two miles from Naples. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p320"></a><img alt="p320.jpg (40K)" src="images/p320.jpg" height="505" width="555"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>We chartered a little +steamer and went out there. Of course, the police boarded us and put us +through a health examination, and inquired into our politics, before they +would let us land. The airs these little insect Governments put on are +in the last degree ridiculous. They even put a policeman on board of our +boat to keep an eye on us as long as we were in the Capri dominions. +They thought we wanted to steal the grotto, I suppose. It was worth +stealing. The entrance to the cave is four feet high and four feet wide, +and is in the face of a lofty perpendicular cliff--the sea-wall. You +enter in small boats--and a tight squeeze it is, too. You can not go in +at all when the tide is up. Once within, you find yourself in an arched +cavern about one hundred and sixty feet long, one hundred and twenty +wide, and about seventy high. How deep it is no man knows. It goes down +to the bottom of the ocean. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p321"></a><img alt="p321.jpg (37K)" src="images/p321.jpg" height="443" width="543"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>The waters of this placid subterranean lake +are the brightest, loveliest blue that can be imagined. They are as +transparent as plate glass, and their coloring would shame the richest +sky that ever bent over Italy. No tint could be more ravishing, no +lustre more superb. Throw a stone into the water, and the myriad of tiny +bubbles that are created flash out a brilliant glare like blue theatrical +fires. Dip an oar, and its blade turns to splendid frosted silver, +tinted with blue. Let a man jump in, and instantly he is cased in an +armor more gorgeous than ever kingly Crusader wore. + +<p>Then we went to Ischia, but I had already been to that island and tired +myself to death "resting" a couple of days and studying human villainy, +with the landlord of the Grande Sentinelle for a model. So we went to +Procida, and from thence to Pozzuoli, where St. Paul landed after he +sailed from Samos. I landed at precisely the same spot where St. Paul +landed, and so did Dan and the others. It was a remarkable coincidence. +St. Paul preached to these people seven days before he started to Rome. + +<p>Nero's Baths, the ruins of Baiae, the Temple of Serapis; Cumae, where the +Cumaen Sybil interpreted the oracles, the Lake Agnano, with its ancient +submerged city still visible far down in its depths--these and a hundred +other points of interest we examined with critical imbecility, but the +Grotto of the Dog claimed our chief attention, because we had heard and +read so much about it. Every body has written about the Grotto del Cane +and its poisonous vapors, from Pliny down to Smith, and every tourist has +held a dog over its floor by the legs to test the capabilities of the +place. The dog dies in a minute and a half--a chicken instantly. As a +general thing, strangers who crawl in there to sleep do not get up until +they are called. And then they don't either. The stranger that ventures +to sleep there takes a permanent contract. I longed to see this grotto. +I resolved to take a dog and hold him myself; suffocate him a little, and +time him; suffocate him some more and then finish him. We reached the +grotto at about three in the afternoon, and proceeded at once to make the +experiments. But now, an important difficulty presented itself. We had +no dog. + +<center><h3> ASCENT OF VESUVIUS--CONTINUED. +</h3></center> +<p>At the Hermitage we were about fifteen or eighteen hundred feet above the +sea, and thus far a portion of the ascent had been pretty abrupt. For +the next two miles the road was a mixture--sometimes the ascent was +abrupt and sometimes it was not: but one characteristic it possessed all +the time, without failure--without modification--it was all +uncompromisingly and unspeakably infamous. It was a rough, narrow trail, +and led over an old lava flow--a black ocean which was tumbled into a +thousand fantastic shapes--a wild chaos of ruin, desolation, and +barrenness--a wilderness of billowy upheavals, of furious whirlpools, of +miniature mountains rent asunder--of gnarled and knotted, wrinkled and +twisted masses of blackness that mimicked branching roots, great vines, +trunks of trees, all interlaced and mingled together: and all these weird +shapes, all this turbulent panorama, all this stormy, far-stretching +waste of blackness, with its thrilling suggestiveness of life, of action, +of boiling, surging, furious motion, was petrified!--all stricken dead +and cold in the instant of its maddest rioting!--fettered, paralyzed, and +left to glower at heaven in impotent rage for evermore! + +<p>Finally we stood in a level, narrow valley (a valley that had been +created by the terrific march of some old time irruption) and on either +hand towered the two steep peaks of Vesuvius. The one we had to +climb--the one that contains the active volcano--seemed about eight hundred or +one thousand feet high, and looked almost too straight-up-and-down for +any man to climb, and certainly no mule could climb it with a man on his +back. Four of these native pirates will carry you to the top in a sedan +chair, if you wish it, but suppose they were to slip and let you +fall,--is it likely that you would ever stop rolling? Not this side of +eternity, perhaps. We left the mules, sharpened our finger-nails, and +began the ascent I have been writing about so long, at twenty minutes to +six in the morning. The path led straight up a rugged sweep of loose +chunks of pumice-stone, and for about every two steps forward we took, we +slid back one. It was so excessively steep that we had to stop, every +fifty or sixty steps, and rest a moment. To see our comrades, we had to +look very nearly straight up at those above us, and very nearly straight +down at those below. We stood on the summit at last--it had taken an +hour and fifteen minutes to make the trip. + +<p>What we saw there was simply a circular crater--a circular ditch, if you +please--about two hundred feet deep, and four or five hundred feet wide, +whose inner wall was about half a mile in circumference. In the centre +of the great circus ring thus formed, was a torn and ragged upheaval a +hundred feet high, all snowed over with a sulphur crust of many and many +a brilliant and beautiful color, and the ditch inclosed this like the +moat of a castle, or surrounded it as a little river does a little +island, if the simile is better. The sulphur coating of that island was +gaudy in the extreme--all mingled together in the richest confusion were +red, blue, brown, black, yellow, white--I do not know that there was a +color, or shade of a color, or combination of colors, unrepresented--and +when the sun burst through the morning mists and fired this tinted +magnificence, it topped imperial Vesuvius like a jeweled crown! + +<p>The crater itself--the ditch--was not so variegated in coloring, but yet, +in its softness, richness, and unpretentious elegance, it was more +charming, more fascinating to the eye. There was nothing "loud" about +its well-bred and well-creased look. Beautiful? One could stand and +look down upon it for a week without getting tired of it. It had the +semblance of a pleasant meadow, whose slender grasses and whose velvety +mosses were frosted with a shining dust, and tinted with palest green +that deepened gradually to the darkest hue of the orange leaf, and +deepened yet again into gravest brown, then faded into orange, then into +brightest gold, and culminated in the delicate pink of a new-blown rose. +Where portions of the meadow had sunk, and where other portions had been +broken up like an ice-floe, the cavernous openings of the one, and the +ragged upturned edges exposed by the other, were hung with a lace-work of +soft-tinted crystals of sulphur that changed their deformities into +quaint shapes and figures that were full of grace and beauty. + +<p>The walls of the ditch were brilliant with yellow banks of sulphur and +with lava and pumice-stone of many colors. No fire was visible any +where, but gusts of sulphurous steam issued silently and invisibly from a +thousand little cracks and fissures in the crater, and were wafted to our +noses with every breeze. But so long as we kept our nostrils buried in +our handkerchiefs, there was small danger of suffocation. + +<p>Some of the boys thrust long slips of paper down into holes and set them +on fire, and so achieved the glory of lighting their cigars by the flames +of Vesuvius, and others cooked eggs over fissures in the rocks and were +happy. + +<p>The view from the summit would have been superb but for the fact that the +sun could only pierce the mists at long intervals. Thus the glimpses we +had of the grand panorama below were only fitful and unsatisfactory. + + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p323"></a><img alt="p323.jpg (100K)" src="images/p323.jpg" height="408" width="650"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<center><h3> THE DESCENT. +</h3></center> +<p>The descent of the mountain was a labor of only four minutes. Instead of +stalking down the rugged path we ascended, we chose one which was bedded +knee-deep in loose ashes, and ploughed our way with prodigious strides +that would almost have shamed the performance of him of the seven-league +boots. + +<br><br><br> +<center><a name="p325"></a><img alt="p325.jpg (26K)" src="images/p325.jpg" height="467" width="295"> +</center> +<br><br><br> + +<p>The Vesuvius of today is a very poor affair compared to the mighty +volcano of Kilauea, in the Sandwich Islands, but I am glad I visited it. +It was well worth it. + +<p>It is said that during one of the grand eruptions of Vesuvius it +discharged massy rocks weighing many tons a thousand feet into the air, +its vast jets of smoke and steam ascended thirty miles toward the +firmament, and clouds of its ashes were wafted abroad and fell upon the +decks of ships seven hundred and fifty miles at sea! I will take the +ashes at a moderate discount, if any one will take the thirty miles of +smoke, but I do not feel able to take a commanding interest in the whole +story by myself. +<br><br> +<hr> +<br><br><br><br> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Innocents Abroad, Part 3 of 6 +by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE INNOCENTS ABROAD, PART 3 OF 6 *** + +***** This file should be named 5690-h.htm or 5690-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/5/6/9/5690/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +https://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: https://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + + +</pre> + +</body> +</html> + diff --git a/5690-h/images/cover.jpg b/5690-h/images/cover.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b57da17 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/cover.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/dedication.jpg b/5690-h/images/dedication.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..991557d --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/dedication.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/frontpiece1.jpg b/5690-h/images/frontpiece1.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..6eea7d0 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/frontpiece1.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/frontpiece2.jpg b/5690-h/images/frontpiece2.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c36a7e2 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/frontpiece2.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p207.jpg b/5690-h/images/p207.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b9e0eac --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p207.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p208.jpg b/5690-h/images/p208.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..956ce88 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p208.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p209.jpg b/5690-h/images/p209.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e7e094a --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p209.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p210.jpg b/5690-h/images/p210.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..09c1d87 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p210.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p215.jpg b/5690-h/images/p215.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2072c9e --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p215.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p220.jpg b/5690-h/images/p220.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..f6e90fa --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p220.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p226.jpg b/5690-h/images/p226.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..242aa07 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p226.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p229.jpg b/5690-h/images/p229.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a047441 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p229.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p230.jpg b/5690-h/images/p230.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2b7c01f --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p230.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p234.jpg b/5690-h/images/p234.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..92bdfd8 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p234.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p236.jpg b/5690-h/images/p236.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..baac2dc --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p236.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p238.jpg b/5690-h/images/p238.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..91e3737 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p238.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p239.jpg b/5690-h/images/p239.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ad24d71 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p239.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p241.jpg b/5690-h/images/p241.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b4b7867 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p241.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p245.jpg b/5690-h/images/p245.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..481b5e8 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p245.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p246.jpg b/5690-h/images/p246.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1971f5d --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p246.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p248.jpg b/5690-h/images/p248.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d57b534 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p248.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p250.jpg b/5690-h/images/p250.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c86ead6 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p250.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p258.jpg b/5690-h/images/p258.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e15c59a --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p258.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p263.jpg b/5690-h/images/p263.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ab191f0 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p263.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p264.jpg b/5690-h/images/p264.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..20ffac7 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p264.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p267.jpg b/5690-h/images/p267.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..101817d --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p267.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p276.jpg b/5690-h/images/p276.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d71afcb --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p276.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p278.jpg b/5690-h/images/p278.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ebd2524 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p278.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p281.jpg b/5690-h/images/p281.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2374a46 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p281.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p285.jpg b/5690-h/images/p285.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..f659f67 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p285.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p286.jpg b/5690-h/images/p286.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..74c6f4a --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p286.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p288.jpg b/5690-h/images/p288.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..71af229 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p288.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p289.jpg b/5690-h/images/p289.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..f875a35 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p289.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p291.jpg b/5690-h/images/p291.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d1e5f38 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p291.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p293.jpg b/5690-h/images/p293.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e0bb72a --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p293.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p299.jpg b/5690-h/images/p299.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e4fcf91 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p299.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p302.jpg b/5690-h/images/p302.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d6e4818 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p302.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p303.jpg b/5690-h/images/p303.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..dbdba17 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p303.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p304.jpg b/5690-h/images/p304.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..0bdb652 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p304.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p309.jpg b/5690-h/images/p309.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..19aa033 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p309.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p313.jpg b/5690-h/images/p313.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3c0368d --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p313.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p316.jpg b/5690-h/images/p316.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..77cca00 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p316.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p319.jpg b/5690-h/images/p319.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e9436b7 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p319.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p320.jpg b/5690-h/images/p320.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2538af0 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p320.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p321.jpg b/5690-h/images/p321.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ae59d83 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p321.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p323.jpg b/5690-h/images/p323.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e3c1f7d --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p323.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/p325.jpg b/5690-h/images/p325.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3b7e139 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/p325.jpg diff --git a/5690-h/images/titlepage.jpg b/5690-h/images/titlepage.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..513b302 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690-h/images/titlepage.jpg diff --git a/5690.txt b/5690.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..093b33b --- /dev/null +++ b/5690.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3935 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Innocents Abroad, Part 3 of 6 +by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Innocents Abroad, Part 3 of 6 + +Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +Release Date: June 15, 2004 [EBook #5690] +[Last updated: July 16, 2011] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE INNOCENTS ABROAD, PART 3 OF 6 *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +INNOCENTS ABROAD + +by Mark Twain + +[From an 1869--1st Edition] + +Part 3. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + + +We voyaged by steamer down the Lago di Lecco, through wild mountain +scenery, and by hamlets and villas, and disembarked at the town of Lecco. +They said it was two hours, by carriage to the ancient city of Bergamo, +and that we would arrive there in good season for the railway train. We +got an open barouche and a wild, boisterous driver, and set out. It was +delightful. We had a fast team and a perfectly smooth road. There were +towering cliffs on our left, and the pretty Lago di Lecco on our right, +and every now and then it rained on us. Just before starting, the driver +picked up, in the street, a stump of a cigar an inch long, and put it in +his mouth. When he had carried it thus about an hour, I thought it would +be only Christian charity to give him a light. I handed him my cigar, +which I had just lit, and he put it in his mouth and returned his stump +to his pocket! I never saw a more sociable man. At least I never saw a +man who was more sociable on a short acquaintance. + +We saw interior Italy, now. The houses were of solid stone, and not +often in good repair. The peasants and their children were idle, as a +general thing, and the donkeys and chickens made themselves at home in +drawing-room and bed-chamber and were not molested. The drivers of each +and every one of the slow-moving market-carts we met were stretched in +the sun upon their merchandise, sound a sleep. Every three or four +hundred yards, it seemed to me, we came upon the shrine of some saint or +other--a rude picture of him built into a huge cross or a stone pillar by +the road-side.--Some of the pictures of the Saviour were curiosities in +their way. They represented him stretched upon the cross, his +countenance distorted with agony. From the wounds of the crown of +thorns; from the pierced side; from the mutilated hands and feet; from +the scourged body--from every hand-breadth of his person streams of blood +were flowing! Such a gory, ghastly spectacle would frighten the children +out of their senses, I should think. There were some unique auxiliaries +to the painting which added to its spirited effect. These were genuine +wooden and iron implements, and were prominently disposed round about the +figure: a bundle of nails; the hammer to drive them; the sponge; the reed +that supported it; the cup of vinegar; the ladder for the ascent of the +cross; the spear that pierced the Saviour's side. The crown of thorns +was made of real thorns, and was nailed to the sacred head. In some +Italian church-paintings, even by the old masters, the Saviour and the +Virgin wear silver or gilded crowns that are fastened to the pictured +head with nails. The effect is as grotesque as it is incongruous. + +Here and there, on the fronts of roadside inns, we found huge, coarse +frescoes of suffering martyrs like those in the shrines. It could not +have diminished their sufferings any to be so uncouthly represented. +We were in the heart and home of priest craft--of a happy, cheerful, +contented ignorance, superstition, degradation, poverty, indolence, and +everlasting unaspiring worthlessness. And we said fervently: it suits +these people precisely; let them enjoy it, along with the other animals, +and Heaven forbid that they be molested. We feel no malice toward these +fumigators. + +We passed through the strangest, funniest, undreampt-of old towns, wedded +to the customs and steeped in the dreams of the elder ages, and perfectly +unaware that the world turns round! And perfectly indifferent, too, as +to whether it turns around or stands still. They have nothing to do but +eat and sleep and sleep and eat, and toil a little when they can get a +friend to stand by and keep them awake. They are not paid for thinking +--they are not paid to fret about the world's concerns. They were not +respectable people--they were not worthy people--they were not learned +and wise and brilliant people--but in their breasts, all their stupid +lives long, resteth a peace that passeth understanding! How can men, +calling themselves men, consent to be so degraded and happy. + +We whisked by many a gray old medieval castle, clad thick with ivy that +swung its green banners down from towers and turrets where once some old +Crusader's flag had floated. The driver pointed to one of these ancient +fortresses, and said, (I translate): + +"Do you see that great iron hook that projects from the wall just under +the highest window in the ruined tower?" + +We said we could not see it at such a distance, but had no doubt it was +there. + +"Well," he said; "there is a legend connected with that iron hook. +Nearly seven hundred years ago, that castle was the property of the noble +Count Luigi Gennaro Guido Alphonso di Genova----" + +"What was his other name?" said Dan. + +"He had no other name. The name I have spoken was all the name he had. +He was the son of----" + +"Poor but honest parents--that is all right--never mind the particulars +--go on with the legend." + + THE LEGEND. + +Well, then, all the world, at that time, was in a wild excitement about +the Holy Sepulchre. All the great feudal lords in Europe were pledging +their lands and pawning their plate to fit out men-at-arms so that they +might join the grand armies of Christendom and win renown in the Holy +Wars. The Count Luigi raised money, like the rest, and one mild +September morning, armed with battle-ax, portcullis and thundering +culverin, he rode through the greaves and bucklers of his donjon-keep +with as gallant a troop of Christian bandits as ever stepped in Italy. +He had his sword, Excalibur, with him. His beautiful countess and her +young daughter waved him a tearful adieu from the battering-rams and +buttresses of the fortress, and he galloped away with a happy heart. + +He made a raid on a neighboring baron and completed his outfit with the +booty secured. He then razed the castle to the ground, massacred the +family and moved on. They were hardy fellows in the grand old days of +chivalry. Alas! Those days will never come again. + +Count Luigi grew high in fame in Holy Land. He plunged into the carnage +of a hundred battles, but his good Excalibur always brought him out +alive, albeit often sorely wounded. His face became browned by exposure +to the Syrian sun in long marches; he suffered hunger and thirst; he +pined in prisons, he languished in loathsome plague-hospitals. And many +and many a time he thought of his loved ones at home, and wondered if all +was well with them. But his heart said, Peace, is not thy brother +watching over thy household? + + * * * * * * * + +Forty-two years waxed and waned; the good fight was won; Godfrey reigned +in Jerusalem--the Christian hosts reared the banner of the cross above +the Holy Sepulchre! + +Twilight was approaching. Fifty harlequins, in flowing robes, approached +this castle wearily, for they were on foot, and the dust upon their +garments betokened that they had traveled far. They overtook a peasant, +and asked him if it were likely they could get food and a hospitable bed +there, for love of Christian charity, and if perchance, a moral parlor +entertainment might meet with generous countenance--"for," said they, +"this exhibition hath no feature that could offend the most fastidious +taste." + +"Marry," quoth the peasant, "an' it please your worships, ye had better +journey many a good rood hence with your juggling circus than trust your +bones in yonder castle." + +"How now, sirrah!" exclaimed the chief monk, "explain thy ribald speech, +or by'r Lady it shall go hard with thee." + +"Peace, good mountebank, I did but utter the truth that was in my heart. +San Paolo be my witness that did ye but find the stout Count Leonardo in +his cups, sheer from the castle's topmost battlements would he hurl ye +all! Alack-a-day, the good Lord Luigi reigns not here in these sad +times." + +"The good Lord Luigi?" + +"Aye, none other, please your worship. In his day, the poor rejoiced in +plenty and the rich he did oppress; taxes were not known, the fathers of +the church waxed fat upon his bounty; travelers went and came, with none +to interfere; and whosoever would, might tarry in his halls in cordial +welcome, and eat his bread and drink his wine, withal. But woe is me! +some two and forty years agone the good count rode hence to fight for +Holy Cross, and many a year hath flown since word or token have we had of +him. Men say his bones lie bleaching in the fields of Palestine." + +"And now?" + +"Now! God 'a mercy, the cruel Leonardo lords it in the castle. He +wrings taxes from the poor; he robs all travelers that journey by his +gates; he spends his days in feuds and murders, and his nights in revel +and debauch; he roasts the fathers of the church upon his kitchen spits, +and enjoyeth the same, calling it pastime. These thirty years Luigi's +countess hath not been seen by any [he] in all this land, and many +whisper that she pines in the dungeons of the castle for that she will +not wed with Leonardo, saying her dear lord still liveth and that she +will die ere she prove false to him. They whisper likewise that her +daughter is a prisoner as well. Nay, good jugglers, seek ye refreshment +other wheres. 'Twere better that ye perished in a Christian way than +that ye plunged from off yon dizzy tower. Give ye good-day." + +"God keep ye, gentle knave--farewell." + +But heedless of the peasant's warning, the players moved straightway +toward the castle. + +Word was brought to Count Leonardo that a company of mountebanks besought +his hospitality. + +"'Tis well. Dispose of them in the customary manner. Yet stay! I have +need of them. Let them come hither. Later, cast them from the +battlements--or--how many priests have ye on hand?" + +"The day's results are meagre, good my lord. An abbot and a dozen +beggarly friars is all we have." + +"Hell and furies! Is the estate going to seed? Send hither the +mountebanks. Afterward, broil them with the priests." + +The robed and close-cowled harlequins entered. The grim Leonardo sate in +state at the head of his council board. Ranged up and down the hall on +either hand stood near a hundred men-at-arms. + +"Ha, villains!" quoth the count, "What can ye do to earn the hospitality +ye crave." + +"Dread lord and mighty, crowded audiences have greeted our humble efforts +with rapturous applause. Among our body count we the versatile and +talented Ugolino; the justly celebrated Rodolpho; the gifted and +accomplished Roderigo; the management have spared neither pains nor +expense--" + +"S'death! What can ye do? Curb thy prating tongue." + +"Good my lord, in acrobatic feats, in practice with the dumb-bells, in +balancing and ground and lofty tumbling are we versed--and sith your +highness asketh me, I venture here to publish that in the truly marvelous +and entertaining Zampillaerostation--" + +"Gag him! throttle him! Body of Bacchus! am I a dog that I am to be +assailed with polysyllabled blasphemy like to this? But hold! Lucretia, +Isabel, stand forth! Sirrah, behold this dame, this weeping wench. The +first I marry, within the hour; the other shall dry her tears or feed the +vultures. Thou and thy vagabonds shall crown the wedding with thy +merry-makings. Fetch hither the priest!" + +The dame sprang toward the chief player. + +"O, save me!" she cried; "save me from a fate far worse than death! +Behold these sad eyes, these sunken cheeks, this withered frame! See +thou the wreck this fiend hath made, and let thy heart be moved with +pity! Look upon this damosel; note her wasted form, her halting step, +her bloomless cheeks where youth should blush and happiness exult in +smiles! Hear us and have compassion. This monster was my husband's +brother. He who should have been our shield against all harm, hath kept +us shut within the noisome caverns of his donjon-keep for lo these thirty +years. And for what crime? None other than that I would not belie my +troth, root out my strong love for him who marches with the legions of +the cross in Holy Land, (for O, he is not dead!) and wed with him! Save +us, O, save thy persecuted suppliants!" + +She flung herself at his feet and clasped his knees. + +"Ha!-ha!-ha!" shouted the brutal Leonardo. "Priest, to thy work!" and +he dragged the weeping dame from her refuge. "Say, once for all, will +you be mine?--for by my halidome, that breath that uttereth thy refusal +shall be thy last on earth!" + +"NE-VER?" + +"Then die!" and the sword leaped from its scabbard. + +Quicker than thought, quicker than the lightning's flash, fifty monkish +habits disappeared, and fifty knights in splendid armor stood revealed! +fifty falchions gleamed in air above the men-at-arms, and brighter, +fiercer than them all, flamed Excalibur aloft, and cleaving downward +struck the brutal Leonardo's weapon from his grasp! + +"A Luigi to the rescue! Whoop!" + +"A Leonardo! 'tare an ouns!'" + +"Oh, God, Oh, God, my husband!" + +"Oh, God, Oh, God, my wife!" + +"My father!" + +"My precious!" [Tableau.] + +Count Luigi bound his usurping brother hand and foot. The practiced +knights from Palestine made holyday sport of carving the awkward +men-at-arms into chops and steaks. The victory was complete. Happiness +reigned. The knights all married the daughter. Joy! wassail! finis! + +"But what did they do with the wicked brother?" + +"Oh nothing--only hanged him on that iron hook I was speaking of. By the +chin." + +"As how?" + +"Passed it up through his gills into his mouth." + +"Leave him there?" + +"Couple of years." + +"Ah--is--is he dead?" + +"Six hundred and fifty years ago, or such a matter." + +"Splendid legend--splendid lie--drive on." + +We reached the quaint old fortified city of Bergamo, the renowned in +history, some three-quarters of an hour before the train was ready to +start. The place has thirty or forty thousand inhabitants and is +remarkable for being the birthplace of harlequin. When we discovered +that, that legend of our driver took to itself a new interest in our +eyes. + +Rested and refreshed, we took the rail happy and contented. I shall not +tarry to speak of the handsome Lago di Gardi; its stately castle that +holds in its stony bosom the secrets of an age so remote that even +tradition goeth not back to it; the imposing mountain scenery that +ennobles the landscape thereabouts; nor yet of ancient Padua or haughty +Verona; nor of their Montagues and Capulets, their famous balconies and +tombs of Juliet and Romeo et al., but hurry straight to the ancient city +of the sea, the widowed bride of the Adriatic. It was a long, long ride. +But toward evening, as we sat silent and hardly conscious of where we +were--subdued into that meditative calm that comes so surely after a +conversational storm--some one shouted-- +"VENICE!" + +And sure enough, afloat on the placid sea a league away, lay a great +city, with its towers and domes and steeples drowsing in a golden mist of +sunset. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + +This Venice, which was a haughty, invincible, magnificent Republic for +nearly fourteen hundred years; whose armies compelled the world's +applause whenever and wherever they battled; whose navies well nigh held +dominion of the seas, and whose merchant fleets whitened the remotest +oceans with their sails and loaded these piers with the products of every +clime, is fallen a prey to poverty, neglect and melancholy decay. Six +hundred years ago, Venice was the Autocrat of Commerce; her mart was the +great commercial centre, the distributing-house from whence the enormous +trade of the Orient was spread abroad over the Western world. To-day her +piers are deserted, her warehouses are empty, her merchant fleets are +vanished, her armies and her navies are but memories. Her glory is +departed, and with her crumbling grandeur of wharves and palaces about +her she sits among her stagnant lagoons, forlorn and beggared, forgotten +of the world. She that in her palmy days commanded the commerce of a +hemisphere and made the weal or woe of nations with a beck of her +puissant finger, is become the humblest among the peoples of the earth, +--a peddler of glass beads for women, and trifling toys and trinkets for +school-girls and children. + +The venerable Mother of the Republics is scarce a fit subject for +flippant speech or the idle gossipping of tourists. It seems a sort of +sacrilege to disturb the glamour of old romance that pictures her to us +softly from afar off as through a tinted mist, and curtains her ruin and +her desolation from our view. One ought, indeed, to turn away from her +rags, her poverty and her humiliation, and think of her only as she was +when she sunk the fleets of Charlemagne; when she humbled Frederick +Barbarossa or waved her victorious banners above the battlements of +Constantinople. + +We reached Venice at eight in the evening, and entered a hearse belonging +to the Grand Hotel d'Europe. At any rate, it was more like a hearse than +any thing else, though to speak by the card, it was a gondola. And this +was the storied gondola of Venice!--the fairy boat in which the princely +cavaliers of the olden time were wont to cleave the waters of the moonlit +canals and look the eloquence of love into the soft eyes of patrician +beauties, while the gay gondolier in silken doublet touched his guitar +and sang as only gondoliers can sing! This the famed gondola and this +the gorgeous gondolier!--the one an inky, rusty old canoe with a sable +hearse-body clapped on to the middle of it, and the other a mangy, +barefooted guttersnipe with a portion of his raiment on exhibition which +should have been sacred from public scrutiny. Presently, as he turned a +corner and shot his hearse into a dismal ditch between two long rows of +towering, untenanted buildings, the gay gondolier began to sing, true to +the traditions of his race. I stood it a little while. Then I said: + +"Now, here, Roderigo Gonzales Michael Angelo, I'm a pilgrim, and I'm a +stranger, but I am not going to have my feelings lacerated by any such +caterwauling as that. If that goes on, one of us has got to take water. +It is enough that my cherished dreams of Venice have been blighted +forever as to the romantic gondola and the gorgeous gondolier; this +system of destruction shall go no farther; I will accept the hearse, +under protest, and you may fly your flag of truce in peace, but here I +register a dark and bloody oath that you shan't sing. Another yelp, and +overboard you go." + +I began to feel that the old Venice of song and story had departed +forever. But I was too hasty. In a few minutes we swept gracefully out +into the Grand Canal, and under the mellow moonlight the Venice of poetry +and romance stood revealed. Right from the water's edge rose long lines +of stately palaces of marble; gondolas were gliding swiftly hither and +thither and disappearing suddenly through unsuspected gates and alleys; +ponderous stone bridges threw their shadows athwart the glittering waves. +There was life and motion everywhere, and yet everywhere there was a +hush, a stealthy sort of stillness, that was suggestive of secret +enterprises of bravoes and of lovers; and clad half in moonbeams and half +in mysterious shadows, the grim old mansions of the Republic seemed to +have an expression about them of having an eye out for just such +enterprises as these at that same moment. Music came floating over the +waters--Venice was complete. + +It was a beautiful picture--very soft and dreamy and beautiful. But what +was this Venice to compare with the Venice of midnight? Nothing. There +was a fete--a grand fete in honor of some saint who had been instrumental +in checking the cholera three hundred years ago, and all Venice was +abroad on the water. It was no common affair, for the Venetians did not +know how soon they might need the saint's services again, now that the +cholera was spreading every where. So in one vast space--say a third of +a mile wide and two miles long--were collected two thousand gondolas, and +every one of them had from two to ten, twenty and even thirty colored +lanterns suspended about it, and from four to a dozen occupants. Just as +far as the eye could reach, these painted lights were massed together +--like a vast garden of many-colored flowers, except that these blossoms +were never still; they were ceaselessly gliding in and out, and mingling +together, and seducing you into bewildering attempts to follow their mazy +evolutions. Here and there a strong red, green, or blue glare from a +rocket that was struggling to get away, splendidly illuminated all the +boats around it. Every gondola that swam by us, with its crescents and +pyramids and circles of colored lamps hung aloft, and lighting up the +faces of the young and the sweet-scented and lovely below, was a picture; +and the reflections of those lights, so long, so slender, so numberless, +so many-colored and so distorted and wrinkled by the waves, was a picture +likewise, and one that was enchantingly beautiful. Many and many a party +of young ladies and gentlemen had their state gondolas handsomely +decorated, and ate supper on board, bringing their swallow-tailed, +white-cravatted varlets to wait upon them, and having their tables +tricked out as if for a bridal supper. They had brought along the +costly globe lamps from their drawing-rooms, and the lace and silken +curtains from the same places, I suppose. And they had also brought +pianos and guitars, and they played and sang operas, while the plebeian +paper-lanterned gondolas from the suburbs and the back alleys crowded +around to stare and listen. + +There was music every where--choruses, string bands, brass bands, flutes, +every thing. I was so surrounded, walled in, with music, magnificence +and loveliness, that I became inspired with the spirit of the scene, and +sang one tune myself. However, when I observed that the other gondolas +had sailed away, and my gondolier was preparing to go overboard, I +stopped. + +The fete was magnificent. They kept it up the whole night long, and I +never enjoyed myself better than I did while it lasted. + +What a funny old city this Queen of the Adriatic is! Narrow streets, +vast, gloomy marble palaces, black with the corroding damps of centuries, +and all partly submerged; no dry land visible any where, and no sidewalks +worth mentioning; if you want to go to church, to the theatre, or to the +restaurant, you must call a gondola. It must be a paradise for cripples, +for verily a man has no use for legs here. + +For a day or two the place looked so like an overflowed Arkansas town, +because of its currentless waters laving the very doorsteps of all the +houses, and the cluster of boats made fast under the windows, or skimming +in and out of the alleys and by-ways, that I could not get rid of the +impression that there was nothing the matter here but a spring freshet, +and that the river would fall in a few weeks and leave a dirty high-water +mark on the houses, and the streets full of mud and rubbish. + +In the glare of day, there is little poetry about Venice, but under the +charitable moon her stained palaces are white again, their battered +sculptures are hidden in shadows, and the old city seems crowned once +more with the grandeur that was hers five hundred years ago. It is easy, +then, in fancy, to people these silent canals with plumed gallants and +fair ladies--with Shylocks in gaberdine and sandals, venturing loans upon +the rich argosies of Venetian commerce--with Othellos and Desdemonas, +with Iagos and Roderigos--with noble fleets and victorious legions +returning from the wars. In the treacherous sunlight we see Venice +decayed, forlorn, poverty-stricken, and commerceless--forgotten and +utterly insignificant. But in the moonlight, her fourteen centuries of +greatness fling their glories about her, and once more is she the +princeliest among the nations of the earth. + + "There is a glorious city in the sea; + The sea is in the broad, the narrow streets, + Ebbing and flowing; and the salt-sea weed + Clings to the marble of her palaces. + No track of men, no footsteps to and fro, + Lead to her gates! The path lies o'er the sea, + Invisible: and from the land we went, + As to a floating city--steering in, + And gliding up her streets, as in a dream, + So smoothly, silently--by many a dome, + Mosque-like, and many a stately portico, + The statues ranged along an azure sky; + By many a pile, in more than Eastern pride, + Of old the residence of merchant kings; + The fronts of some, tho' time had shatter'd them, + Still glowing with the richest hues of art, + As tho' the wealth within them had run o'er." + +What would one naturally wish to see first in Venice? The Bridge of +Sighs, of course--and next the Church and the Great Square of St. Mark, +the Bronze Horses, and the famous Lion of St. Mark. + +We intended to go to the Bridge of Sighs, but happened into the Ducal +Palace first--a building which necessarily figures largely in Venetian +poetry and tradition. In the Senate Chamber of the ancient Republic we +wearied our eyes with staring at acres of historical paintings by +Tintoretto and Paul Veronese, but nothing struck us forcibly except the +one thing that strikes all strangers forcibly--a black square in the +midst of a gallery of portraits. In one long row, around the great hall, +were painted the portraits of the Doges of Venice (venerable fellows, +with flowing white beards, for of the three hundred Senators eligible to +the office, the oldest was usually chosen Doge,) and each had its +complimentary inscription attached--till you came to the place that +should have had Marino Faliero's picture in it, and that was blank and +black--blank, except that it bore a terse inscription, saying that the +conspirator had died for his crime. It seemed cruel to keep that +pitiless inscription still staring from the walls after the unhappy +wretch had been in his grave five hundred years. + +At the head of the Giant's Staircase, where Marino Faliero was beheaded, +and where the Doges were crowned in ancient times, two small slits in the +stone wall were pointed out--two harmless, insignificant orifices that +would never attract a stranger's attention--yet these were the terrible +Lions' Mouths! The heads were gone (knocked off by the French during +their occupation of Venice,) but these were the throats, down which went +the anonymous accusation, thrust in secretly at dead of night by an +enemy, that doomed many an innocent man to walk the Bridge of Sighs and +descend into the dungeon which none entered and hoped to see the sun +again. This was in the old days when the Patricians alone governed +Venice--the common herd had no vote and no voice. There were one +thousand five hundred Patricians; from these, three hundred Senators were +chosen; from the Senators a Doge and a Council of Ten were selected, and +by secret ballot the Ten chose from their own number a Council of Three. +All these were Government spies, then, and every spy was under +surveillance himself--men spoke in whispers in Venice, and no man trusted +his neighbor--not always his own brother. No man knew who the Council of +Three were--not even the Senate, not even the Doge; the members of that +dread tribunal met at night in a chamber to themselves, masked, and robed +from head to foot in scarlet cloaks, and did not even know each other, +unless by voice. It was their duty to judge heinous political crimes, +and from their sentence there was no appeal. A nod to the executioner +was sufficient. The doomed man was marched down a hall and out at a +door-way into the covered Bridge of Sighs, through it and into the +dungeon and unto his death. At no time in his transit was he visible to +any save his conductor. If a man had an enemy in those old days, the +cleverest thing he could do was to slip a note for the Council of Three +into the Lion's mouth, saying "This man is plotting against the +Government." If the awful Three found no proof, ten to one they would +drown him anyhow, because he was a deep rascal, since his plots were +unsolvable. Masked judges and masked executioners, with unlimited power, +and no appeal from their judgements, in that hard, cruel age, were not +likely to be lenient with men they suspected yet could not convict. + +We walked through the hall of the Council of Ten, and presently entered +the infernal den of the Council of Three. + +The table around which they had sat was there still, and likewise the +stations where the masked inquisitors and executioners formerly stood, +frozen, upright and silent, till they received a bloody order, and then, +without a word, moved off like the inexorable machines they were, to +carry it out. The frescoes on the walls were startlingly suited to the +place. In all the other saloons, the halls, the great state chambers of +the palace, the walls and ceilings were bright with gilding, rich with +elaborate carving, and resplendent with gallant pictures of Venetian +victories in war, and Venetian display in foreign courts, and hallowed +with portraits of the Virgin, the Saviour of men, and the holy saints +that preached the Gospel of Peace upon earth--but here, in dismal +contrast, were none but pictures of death and dreadful suffering!--not a +living figure but was writhing in torture, not a dead one but was smeared +with blood, gashed with wounds, and distorted with the agonies that had +taken away its life! + +From the palace to the gloomy prison is but a step--one might almost jump +across the narrow canal that intervenes. The ponderous stone Bridge of +Sighs crosses it at the second story--a bridge that is a covered tunnel +--you can not be seen when you walk in it. It is partitioned lengthwise, +and through one compartment walked such as bore light sentences in +ancient times, and through the other marched sadly the wretches whom the +Three had doomed to lingering misery and utter oblivion in the dungeons, +or to sudden and mysterious death. Down below the level of the water, by +the light of smoking torches, we were shown the damp, thick-walled cells +where many a proud patrician's life was eaten away by the long-drawn +miseries of solitary imprisonment--without light, air, books; naked, +unshaven, uncombed, covered with vermin; his useless tongue forgetting +its office, with none to speak to; the days and nights of his life no +longer marked, but merged into one eternal eventless night; far away from +all cheerful sounds, buried in the silence of a tomb; forgotten by his +helpless friends, and his fate a dark mystery to them forever; losing his +own memory at last, and knowing no more who he was or how he came there; +devouring the loaf of bread and drinking the water that were thrust into +the cell by unseen hands, and troubling his worn spirit no more with +hopes and fears and doubts and longings to be free; ceasing to scratch +vain prayers and complainings on walls where none, not even himself, +could see them, and resigning himself to hopeless apathy, driveling +childishness, lunacy! Many and many a sorrowful story like this these +stony walls could tell if they could but speak. + +In a little narrow corridor, near by, they showed us where many a +prisoner, after lying in the dungeons until he was forgotten by all save +his persecutors, was brought by masked executioners and garroted, or +sewed up in a sack, passed through a little window to a boat, at dead of +night, and taken to some remote spot and drowned. + +They used to show to visitors the implements of torture wherewith the +Three were wont to worm secrets out of the accused--villainous machines +for crushing thumbs; the stocks where a prisoner sat immovable while +water fell drop by drop upon his head till the torture was more than +humanity could bear; and a devilish contrivance of steel, which inclosed +a prisoner's head like a shell, and crushed it slowly by means of a +screw. It bore the stains of blood that had trickled through its joints +long ago, and on one side it had a projection whereon the torturer rested +his elbow comfortably and bent down his ear to catch the moanings of the +sufferer perishing within. + +Of course we went to see the venerable relic of the ancient glory of +Venice, with its pavements worn and broken by the passing feet of a +thousand years of plebeians and patricians--The Cathedral of St. Mark. +It is built entirely of precious marbles, brought from the Orient +--nothing in its composition is domestic. Its hoary traditions make it an +object of absorbing interest to even the most careless stranger, and thus +far it had interest for me; but no further. I could not go into +ecstasies over its coarse mosaics, its unlovely Byzantine architecture, +or its five hundred curious interior columns from as many distant +quarries. Every thing was worn out--every block of stone was smooth and +almost shapeless with the polishing hands and shoulders of loungers who +devoutly idled here in by-gone centuries and have died and gone to the +dev--no, simply died, I mean. + +Under the altar repose the ashes of St. Mark--and Matthew, Luke and John, +too, for all I know. Venice reveres those relics above all things +earthly. For fourteen hundred years St. Mark has been her patron saint. +Every thing about the city seems to be named after him or so named as to +refer to him in some way--so named, or some purchase rigged in some way +to scrape a sort of hurrahing acquaintance with him. That seems to be +the idea. To be on good terms with St. Mark, seems to be the very summit +of Venetian ambition. They say St. Mark had a tame lion, and used to +travel with him--and every where that St. Mark went, the lion was sure to +go. It was his protector, his friend, his librarian. And so the Winged +Lion of St. Mark, with the open Bible under his paw, is a favorite emblem +in the grand old city. It casts its shadow from the most ancient pillar +in Venice, in the Grand Square of St. Mark, upon the throngs of free +citizens below, and has so done for many a long century. The winged lion +is found every where--and doubtless here, where the winged lion is, no +harm can come. + +St. Mark died at Alexandria, in Egypt. He was martyred, I think. +However, that has nothing to do with my legend. About the founding of +the city of Venice--say four hundred and fifty years after Christ--(for +Venice is much younger than any other Italian city,) a priest dreamed +that an angel told him that until the remains of St. Mark were brought to +Venice, the city could never rise to high distinction among the nations; +that the body must be captured, brought to the city, and a magnificent +church built over it; and that if ever the Venetians allowed the Saint to +be removed from his new resting-place, in that day Venice would perish +from off the face of the earth. The priest proclaimed his dream, and +forthwith Venice set about procuring the corpse of St. Mark. One +expedition after another tried and failed, but the project was never +abandoned during four hundred years. At last it was secured by +stratagem, in the year eight hundred and something. The commander of a +Venetian expedition disguised himself, stole the bones, separated them, +and packed them in vessels filled with lard. The religion of Mahomet +causes its devotees to abhor anything that is in the nature of pork, and +so when the Christian was stopped by the officers at the gates of the +city, they only glanced once into his precious baskets, then turned up +their noses at the unholy lard, and let him go. The bones were buried in +the vaults of the grand cathedral, which had been waiting long years to +receive them, and thus the safety and the greatness of Venice were +secured. And to this day there be those in Venice who believe that if +those holy ashes were stolen away, the ancient city would vanish like a +dream, and its foundations be buried forever in the unremembering sea. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +The Venetian gondola is as free and graceful, in its gliding movement, as +a serpent. It is twenty or thirty feet long, and is narrow and deep, +like a canoe; its sharp bow and stern sweep upward from the water like +the horns of a crescent with the abruptness of the curve slightly +modified. + +The bow is ornamented with a steel comb with a battle-ax attachment which +threatens to cut passing boats in two occasionally, but never does. The +gondola is painted black because in the zenith of Venetian magnificence +the gondolas became too gorgeous altogether, and the Senate decreed that +all such display must cease, and a solemn, unembellished black be +substituted. If the truth were known, it would doubtless appear that +rich plebeians grew too prominent in their affectation of patrician show +on the Grand Canal, and required a wholesome snubbing. Reverence for the +hallowed Past and its traditions keeps the dismal fashion in force now +that the compulsion exists no longer. So let it remain. It is the color +of mourning. Venice mourns. The stern of the boat is decked over and +the gondolier stands there. He uses a single oar--a long blade, of +course, for he stands nearly erect. A wooden peg, a foot and a half +high, with two slight crooks or curves in one side of it and one in the +other, projects above the starboard gunwale. Against that peg the +gondolier takes a purchase with his oar, changing it at intervals to the +other side of the peg or dropping it into another of the crooks, as the +steering of the craft may demand--and how in the world he can back and +fill, shoot straight ahead, or flirt suddenly around a corner, and make +the oar stay in those insignificant notches, is a problem to me and a +never diminishing matter of interest. I am afraid I study the +gondolier's marvelous skill more than I do the sculptured palaces we +glide among. He cuts a corner so closely, now and then, or misses +another gondola by such an imperceptible hair-breadth that I feel myself +"scrooching," as the children say, just as one does when a buggy wheel +grazes his elbow. But he makes all his calculations with the nicest +precision, and goes darting in and out among a Broadway confusion of busy +craft with the easy confidence of the educated hackman. He never makes a +mistake. + +Sometimes we go flying down the great canals at such a gait that we can +get only the merest glimpses into front doors, and again, in obscure +alleys in the suburbs, we put on a solemnity suited to the silence, the +mildew, the stagnant waters, the clinging weeds, the deserted houses and +the general lifelessness of the place, and move to the spirit of grave +meditation. + +The gondolier is a picturesque rascal for all he wears no satin harness, +no plumed bonnet, no silken tights. His attitude is stately; he is lithe +and supple; all his movements are full of grace. When his long canoe, +and his fine figure, towering from its high perch on the stern, are cut +against the evening sky, they make a picture that is very novel and +striking to a foreign eye. + +We sit in the cushioned carriage-body of a cabin, with the curtains +drawn, and smoke, or read, or look out upon the passing boats, the +houses, the bridges, the people, and enjoy ourselves much more than we +could in a buggy jolting over our cobble-stone pavements at home. This +is the gentlest, pleasantest locomotion we have ever known. + +But it seems queer--ever so queer--to see a boat doing duty as a private +carriage. We see business men come to the front door, step into a +gondola, instead of a street car, and go off down town to the +counting-room. + +We see visiting young ladies stand on the stoop, and laugh, and kiss +good-bye, and flirt their fans and say "Come soon--now do--you've been +just as mean as ever you can be--mother's dying to see you--and we've +moved into the new house, O such a love of a place!--so convenient to the +post office and the church, and the Young Men's Christian Association; +and we do have such fishing, and such carrying on, and such +swimming-matches in the back yard--Oh, you must come--no distance at all, +and if you go down through by St. Mark's and the Bridge of Sighs, and cut +through the alley and come up by the church of Santa Maria dei Frari, and +into the Grand Canal, there isn't a bit of current--now do come, Sally +Maria--by-bye!" and then the little humbug trips down the steps, jumps +into the gondola, says, under her breath, "Disagreeable old thing, I hope +she won't!" goes skimming away, round the corner; and the other girl +slams the street door and says, "Well, that infliction's over, any way, +--but I suppose I've got to go and see her--tiresome stuck-up thing!" +Human nature appears to be just the same, all over the world. We see the +diffident young man, mild of moustache, affluent of hair, indigent of +brain, elegant of costume, drive up to her father's mansion, tell his +hackman to bail out and wait, start fearfully up the steps and meet "the +old gentleman" right on the threshold!--hear him ask what street the new +British Bank is in--as if that were what he came for--and then bounce +into his boat and skurry away with his coward heart in his boots!--see +him come sneaking around the corner again, directly, with a crack of the +curtain open toward the old gentleman's disappearing gondola, and out +scampers his Susan with a flock of little Italian endearments fluttering +from her lips, and goes to drive with him in the watery avenues down +toward the Rialto. + +We see the ladies go out shopping, in the most natural way, and flit from +street to street and from store to store, just in the good old fashion, +except that they leave the gondola, instead of a private carriage, +waiting at the curbstone a couple of hours for them,--waiting while they +make the nice young clerks pull down tons and tons of silks and velvets +and moire antiques and those things; and then they buy a paper of pins +and go paddling away to confer the rest of their disastrous patronage on +some other firm. And they always have their purchases sent home just in +the good old way. Human nature is very much the same all over the world; +and it is so like my dear native home to see a Venetian lady go into a +store and buy ten cents' worth of blue ribbon and have it sent home in a +scow. Ah, it is these little touches of nature that move one to tears in +these far-off foreign lands. + +We see little girls and boys go out in gondolas with their nurses, for an +airing. We see staid families, with prayer-book and beads, enter the +gondola dressed in their Sunday best, and float away to church. And at +midnight we see the theatre break up and discharge its swarm of hilarious +youth and beauty; we hear the cries of the hackman-gondoliers, and behold +the struggling crowd jump aboard, and the black multitude of boats go +skimming down the moonlit avenues; we see them separate here and there, +and disappear up divergent streets; we hear the faint sounds of laughter +and of shouted farewells floating up out of the distance; and then, the +strange pageant being gone, we have lonely stretches of glittering water +--of stately buildings--of blotting shadows--of weird stone faces +creeping into the moonlight--of deserted bridges--of motionless boats at +anchor. And over all broods that mysterious stillness, that stealthy +quiet, that befits so well this old dreaming Venice. + +We have been pretty much every where in our gondola. We have bought +beads and photographs in the stores, and wax matches in the Great Square +of St. Mark. The last remark suggests a digression. Every body goes to +this vast square in the evening. The military bands play in the centre +of it and countless couples of ladies and gentlemen promenade up and down +on either side, and platoons of them are constantly drifting away toward +the old Cathedral, and by the venerable column with the Winged Lion of +St. Mark on its top, and out to where the boats lie moored; and other +platoons are as constantly arriving from the gondolas and joining the +great throng. Between the promenaders and the side-walks are seated +hundreds and hundreds of people at small tables, smoking and taking +granita, (a first cousin to ice-cream;) on the side-walks are more +employing themselves in the same way. The shops in the first floor of +the tall rows of buildings that wall in three sides of the square are +brilliantly lighted, the air is filled with music and merry voices, and +altogether the scene is as bright and spirited and full of cheerfulness +as any man could desire. We enjoy it thoroughly. Very many of the young +women are exceedingly pretty and dress with rare good taste. We are +gradually and laboriously learning the ill-manners of staring them +unflinchingly in the face--not because such conduct is agreeable to us, +but because it is the custom of the country and they say the girls like +it. We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the +different countries, so that we can "show off" and astonish people when +we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with +our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off. All our +passengers are paying strict attention to this thing, with the end in +view which I have mentioned. The gentle reader will never, never know +what a consummate ass he can become, until he goes abroad. I speak now, +of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, +and therefore is not already a consummate ass. If the case be otherwise, +I beg his pardon and extend to him the cordial hand of fellowship and +call him brother. I shall always delight to meet an ass after my own +heart when I shall have finished my travels. + +On this subject let me remark that there are Americans abroad in Italy +who have actually forgotten their mother tongue in three months--forgot +it in France. They can not even write their address in English in a +hotel register. I append these evidences, which I copied verbatim from +the register of a hotel in a certain Italian city: + + "John P. Whitcomb, Etats Unis. "Wm. L. Ainsworth, travailleur (he + meant traveler, I suppose,) Etats Unis. "George P. Morton et fils, + d'Amerique. "Lloyd B. Williams, et trois amis, ville de Boston, + Amerique. "J. Ellsworth Baker, tout de suite de France, place de + naissance Amerique, destination la Grand Bretagne." + +I love this sort of people. A lady passenger of ours tells of a +fellow-citizen of hers who spent eight weeks in Paris and then returned +home and addressed his dearest old bosom friend Herbert as Mr. +"Er-bare!" He apologized, though, and said, "'Pon my soul it is +aggravating, but I cahn't help it--I have got so used to speaking +nothing but French, my dear Erbare--damme there it goes again!--got so +used to French pronunciation that I cahn't get rid of it--it is +positively annoying, I assure you." This entertaining idiot, whose name +was Gordon, allowed himself to be hailed three times in the street +before he paid any attention, and then begged a thousand pardons and +said he had grown so accustomed to hearing himself addressed as "M'sieu +Gor-r-dong," with a roll to the r, that he had forgotten the legitimate +sound of his name! He wore a rose in his button-hole; he gave the French +salutation--two flips of the hand in front of the face; he called Paris +Pairree in ordinary English conversation; he carried envelopes bearing +foreign postmarks protruding from his breast-pocket; he cultivated a +moustache and imperial, and did what else he could to suggest to the +beholder his pet fancy that he resembled Louis Napoleon--and in a spirit +of thankfulness which is entirely unaccountable, considering the slim +foundation there was for it, he praised his Maker that he was as he was, +and went on enjoying his little life just the same as if he really had +been deliberately designed and erected by the great Architect of the +Universe. + +Think of our Whitcombs, and our Ainsworths and our Williamses writing +themselves down in dilapidated French in foreign hotel registers! We +laugh at Englishmen, when we are at home, for sticking so sturdily to +their national ways and customs, but we look back upon it from abroad +very forgivingly. It is not pleasant to see an American thrusting his +nationality forward obtrusively in a foreign land, but Oh, it is pitiable +to see him making of himself a thing that is neither male nor female, +neither fish, flesh, nor fowl--a poor, miserable, hermaphrodite +Frenchman! + +Among a long list of churches, art galleries, and such things, visited by +us in Venice, I shall mention only one--the church of Santa Maria dei +Frari. It is about five hundred years old, I believe, and stands on +twelve hundred thousand piles. In it lie the body of Canova and the +heart of Titian, under magnificent monuments. Titian died at the age of +almost one hundred years. A plague which swept away fifty thousand lives +was raging at the time, and there is notable evidence of the reverence in +which the great painter was held, in the fact that to him alone the state +permitted a public funeral in all that season of terror and death. + +In this church, also, is a monument to the doge Foscari, whose name a +once resident of Venice, Lord Byron, has made permanently famous. + +The monument to the doge Giovanni Pesaro, in this church, is a curiosity +in the way of mortuary adornment. It is eighty feet high and is fronted +like some fantastic pagan temple. Against it stand four colossal +Nubians, as black as night, dressed in white marble garments. The black +legs are bare, and through rents in sleeves and breeches, the skin, of +shiny black marble, shows. The artist was as ingenious as his funeral +designs were absurd. There are two bronze skeletons bearing scrolls, and +two great dragons uphold the sarcophagus. On high, amid all this +grotesqueness, sits the departed doge. + +In the conventual buildings attached to this church are the state +archives of Venice. We did not see them, but they are said to number +millions of documents. "They are the records of centuries of the most +watchful, observant and suspicious government that ever existed--in which +every thing was written down and nothing spoken out." They fill nearly +three hundred rooms. Among them are manuscripts from the archives of +nearly two thousand families, monasteries and convents. The secret +history of Venice for a thousand years is here--its plots, its hidden +trials, its assassinations, its commissions of hireling spies and masked +bravoes--food, ready to hand, for a world of dark and mysterious +romances. + +Yes, I think we have seen all of Venice. We have seen, in these old +churches, a profusion of costly and elaborate sepulchre ornamentation +such as we never dreampt of before. We have stood in the dim religious +light of these hoary sanctuaries, in the midst of long ranks of dusty +monuments and effigies of the great dead of Venice, until we seemed +drifting back, back, back, into the solemn past, and looking upon the +scenes and mingling with the peoples of a remote antiquity. We have been +in a half-waking sort of dream all the time. I do not know how else to +describe the feeling. A part of our being has remained still in the +nineteenth century, while another part of it has seemed in some +unaccountable way walking among the phantoms of the tenth. + +We have seen famous pictures until our eyes are weary with looking at +them and refuse to find interest in them any longer. And what wonder, +when there are twelve hundred pictures by Palma the Younger in Venice and +fifteen hundred by Tintoretto? And behold there are Titians and the +works of other artists in proportion. We have seen Titian's celebrated +Cain and Abel, his David and Goliah, his Abraham's Sacrifice. We have +seen Tintoretto's monster picture, which is seventy-four feet long and I +do not know how many feet high, and thought it a very commodious picture. +We have seen pictures of martyrs enough, and saints enough, to regenerate +the world. I ought not to confess it, but still, since one has no +opportunity in America to acquire a critical judgment in art, and since I +could not hope to become educated in it in Europe in a few short weeks, I +may therefore as well acknowledge with such apologies as may be due, that +to me it seemed that when I had seen one of these martyrs I had seen them +all. They all have a marked family resemblance to each other, they dress +alike, in coarse monkish robes and sandals, they are all bald headed, +they all stand in about the same attitude, and without exception they are +gazing heavenward with countenances which the Ainsworths, the Mortons and +the Williamses, et fils, inform me are full of "expression." To me there +is nothing tangible about these imaginary portraits, nothing that I can +grasp and take a living interest in. If great Titian had only been +gifted with prophecy, and had skipped a martyr, and gone over to England +and painted a portrait of Shakspeare, even as a youth, which we could all +have confidence in now, the world down to the latest generations would +have forgiven him the lost martyr in the rescued seer. I think posterity +could have spared one more martyr for the sake of a great historical +picture of Titian's time and painted by his brush--such as Columbus +returning in chains from the discovery of a world, for instance. The old +masters did paint some Venetian historical pictures, and these we did not +tire of looking at, notwithstanding representations of the formal +introduction of defunct doges to the Virgin Mary in regions beyond the +clouds clashed rather harshly with the proprieties, it seemed to us. + +But humble as we are, and unpretending, in the matter of art, our +researches among the painted monks and martyrs have not been wholly in +vain. We have striven hard to learn. We have had some success. We have +mastered some things, possibly of trifling import in the eyes of the +learned, but to us they give pleasure, and we take as much pride in our +little acquirements as do others who have learned far more, and we love +to display them full as well. When we see a monk going about with a lion +and looking tranquilly up to heaven, we know that that is St. Mark. When +we see a monk with a book and a pen, looking tranquilly up to heaven, +trying to think of a word, we know that that is St. Matthew. When we see +a monk sitting on a rock, looking tranquilly up to heaven, with a human +skull beside him, and without other baggage, we know that that is St. +Jerome. Because we know that he always went flying light in the matter +of baggage. When we see a party looking tranquilly up to heaven, +unconscious that his body is shot through and through with arrows, we +know that that is St. Sebastian. When we see other monks looking +tranquilly up to heaven, but having no trade-mark, we always ask who +those parties are. We do this because we humbly wish to learn. We have +seen thirteen thousand St. Jeromes, and twenty-two thousand St. Marks, +and sixteen thousand St. Matthews, and sixty thousand St. Sebastians, and +four millions of assorted monks, undesignated, and we feel encouraged to +believe that when we have seen some more of these various pictures, and +had a larger experience, we shall begin to take an absorbing interest in +them like our cultivated countrymen from Amerique. + +Now it does give me real pain to speak in this almost unappreciative way +of the old masters and their martyrs, because good friends of mine in the +ship--friends who do thoroughly and conscientiously appreciate them and +are in every way competent to discriminate between good pictures and +inferior ones--have urged me for my own sake not to make public the fact +that I lack this appreciation and this critical discrimination myself. I +believe that what I have written and may still write about pictures will +give them pain, and I am honestly sorry for it. I even promised that I +would hide my uncouth sentiments in my own breast. But alas! I never +could keep a promise. I do not blame myself for this weakness, because +the fault must lie in my physical organization. It is likely that such a +very liberal amount of space was given to the organ which enables me to +make promises, that the organ which should enable me to keep them was +crowded out. But I grieve not. I like no half-way things. I had rather +have one faculty nobly developed than two faculties of mere ordinary +capacity. I certainly meant to keep that promise, but I find I can not +do it. It is impossible to travel through Italy without speaking of +pictures, and can I see them through others' eyes? + +If I did not so delight in the grand pictures that are spread before me +every day of my life by that monarch of all the old masters, Nature, I +should come to believe, sometimes, that I had in me no appreciation of +the beautiful, whatsoever. + +It seems to me that whenever I glory to think that for once I have +discovered an ancient painting that is beautiful and worthy of all +praise, the pleasure it gives me is an infallible proof that it is not a +beautiful picture and not in any wise worthy of commendation. This very +thing has occurred more times than I can mention, in Venice. In every +single instance the guide has crushed out my swelling enthusiasm with the +remark: + +"It is nothing--it is of the Renaissance." + +I did not know what in the mischief the Renaissance was, and so always I +had to simply say, + +"Ah! so it is--I had not observed it before." + +I could not bear to be ignorant before a cultivated negro, the offspring +of a South Carolina slave. But it occurred too often for even my +self-complacency, did that exasperating "It is nothing--it is of the +Renaissance." I said at last: + +"Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him +permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs?" + +We learned, then, that Renaissance was not a man; that renaissance was a +term used to signify what was at best but an imperfect rejuvenation of +art. The guide said that after Titian's time and the time of the other +great names we had grown so familiar with, high art declined; then it +partially rose again--an inferior sort of painters sprang up, and these +shabby pictures were the work of their hands. Then I said, in my heat, +that I "wished to goodness high art had declined five hundred years +sooner." The Renaissance pictures suit me very well, though sooth to say +its school were too much given to painting real men and did not indulge +enough in martyrs. + +The guide I have spoken of is the only one we have had yet who knew any +thing. He was born in South Carolina, of slave parents. They came to +Venice while he was an infant. He has grown up here. He is well +educated. He reads, writes, and speaks English, Italian, Spanish, and +French, with perfect facility; is a worshipper of art and thoroughly +conversant with it; knows the history of Venice by heart and never tires +of talking of her illustrious career. He dresses better than any of us, +I think, and is daintily polite. Negroes are deemed as good as white +people, in Venice, and so this man feels no desire to go back to his +native land. His judgment is correct. + +I have had another shave. I was writing in our front room this afternoon +and trying hard to keep my attention on my work and refrain from looking +out upon the canal. I was resisting the soft influences of the climate +as well as I could, and endeavoring to overcome the desire to be indolent +and happy. The boys sent for a barber. They asked me if I would be +shaved. I reminded them of my tortures in Genoa, Milan, Como; of my +declaration that I would suffer no more on Italian soil. I said "Not any +for me, if you please." + +I wrote on. The barber began on the doctor. I heard him say: + +"Dan, this is the easiest shave I have had since we left the ship." + +He said again, presently: + +"Why Dan, a man could go to sleep with this man shaving him." + +Dan took the chair. Then he said: + +"Why this is Titian. This is one of the old masters." + +I wrote on. Directly Dan said: + +"Doctor, it is perfect luxury. The ship's barber isn't any thing to +him." + +My rough beard was distressing me beyond measure. The barber was rolling +up his apparatus. The temptation was too strong. I said: + +"Hold on, please. Shave me also." + +I sat down in the chair and closed my eyes. The barber soaped my face, +and then took his razor and gave me a rake that well nigh threw me into +convulsions. I jumped out of the chair: Dan and the doctor were both +wiping blood off their faces and laughing. + +I said it was a mean, disgraceful fraud. + +They said that the misery of this shave had gone so far beyond any thing +they had ever experienced before, that they could not bear the idea of +losing such a chance of hearing a cordial opinion from me on the subject. + +It was shameful. But there was no help for it. The skinning was begun +and had to be finished. The tears flowed with every rake, and so did the +fervent execrations. The barber grew confused, and brought blood every +time. I think the boys enjoyed it better than any thing they have seen +or heard since they left home. + +We have seen the Campanile, and Byron's house and Balbi's the geographer, +and the palaces of all the ancient dukes and doges of Venice, and we have +seen their effeminate descendants airing their nobility in fashionable +French attire in the Grand Square of St. Mark, and eating ices and +drinking cheap wines, instead of wearing gallant coats of mail and +destroying fleets and armies as their great ancestors did in the days of +Venetian glory. We have seen no bravoes with poisoned stilettos, no +masks, no wild carnival; but we have seen the ancient pride of Venice, +the grim Bronze Horses that figure in a thousand legends. Venice may +well cherish them, for they are the only horses she ever had. It is said +there are hundreds of people in this curious city who never have seen a +living horse in their lives. It is entirely true, no doubt. + +And so, having satisfied ourselves, we depart to-morrow, and leave the +venerable Queen of the Republics to summon her vanished ships, and +marshal her shadowy armies, and know again in dreams the pride of her old +renown. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +Some of the Quaker City's passengers had arrived in Venice from +Switzerland and other lands before we left there, and others were +expected every day. We heard of no casualties among them, and no +sickness. + +We were a little fatigued with sight seeing, and so we rattled through a +good deal of country by rail without caring to stop. I took few notes. +I find no mention of Bologna in my memorandum book, except that we +arrived there in good season, but saw none of the sausages for which the +place is so justly celebrated. + +Pistoia awoke but a passing interest. + +Florence pleased us for a while. I think we appreciated the great figure +of David in the grand square, and the sculptured group they call the Rape +of the Sabines. We wandered through the endless collections of paintings +and statues of the Pitti and Ufizzi galleries, of course. I make that +statement in self-defense; there let it stop. I could not rest under the +imputation that I visited Florence and did not traverse its weary miles +of picture galleries. We tried indolently to recollect something about +the Guelphs and Ghibelines and the other historical cut-throats whose +quarrels and assassinations make up so large a share of Florentine +history, but the subject was not attractive. We had been robbed of all +the fine mountain scenery on our little journey by a system of +railroading that had three miles of tunnel to a hundred yards of +daylight, and we were not inclined to be sociable with Florence. We had +seen the spot, outside the city somewhere, where these people had allowed +the bones of Galileo to rest in unconsecrated ground for an age because +his great discovery that the world turned around was regarded as a +damning heresy by the church; and we know that long after the world had +accepted his theory and raised his name high in the list of its great +men, they had still let him rot there. That we had lived to see his dust +in honored sepulture in the church of Santa Croce we owed to a society of +literati, and not to Florence or her rulers. We saw Dante's tomb in that +church, also, but we were glad to know that his body was not in it; that +the ungrateful city that had exiled him and persecuted him would give +much to have it there, but need not hope to ever secure that high honor +to herself. Medicis are good enough for Florence. Let her plant Medicis +and build grand monuments over them to testify how gratefully she was +wont to lick the hand that scourged her. + +Magnanimous Florence! Her jewelry marts are filled with artists in +mosaic. Florentine mosaics are the choicest in all the world. Florence +loves to have that said. Florence is proud of it. Florence would foster +this specialty of hers. She is grateful to the artists that bring to her +this high credit and fill her coffers with foreign money, and so she +encourages them with pensions. With pensions! Think of the lavishness +of it. She knows that people who piece together the beautiful trifles +die early, because the labor is so confining, and so exhausting to hand +and brain, and so she has decreed that all these people who reach the age +of sixty shall have a pension after that! I have not heard that any of +them have called for their dividends yet. One man did fight along till +he was sixty, and started after his pension, but it appeared that there +had been a mistake of a year in his family record, and so he gave it up +and died. + +These artists will take particles of stone or glass no larger than a +mustard seed, and piece them together on a sleeve button or a shirt stud, +so smoothly and with such nice adjustment of the delicate shades of color +the pieces bear, as to form a pigmy rose with stem, thorn, leaves, petals +complete, and all as softly and as truthfully tinted as though Nature had +builded it herself. They will counterfeit a fly, or a high-toned bug, or +the ruined Coliseum, within the cramped circle of a breastpin, and do it +so deftly and so neatly that any man might think a master painted it. + +I saw a little table in the great mosaic school in Florence--a little +trifle of a centre table--whose top was made of some sort of precious +polished stone, and in the stone was inlaid the figure of a flute, with +bell-mouth and a mazy complication of keys. No painting in the world +could have been softer or richer; no shading out of one tint into another +could have been more perfect; no work of art of any kind could have been +more faultless than this flute, and yet to count the multitude of little +fragments of stone of which they swore it was formed would bankrupt any +man's arithmetic! I do not think one could have seen where two particles +joined each other with eyes of ordinary shrewdness. Certainly we could +detect no such blemish. This table-top cost the labor of one man for ten +long years, so they said, and it was for sale for thirty-five thousand +dollars. + +We went to the Church of Santa Croce, from time to time, in Florence, to +weep over the tombs of Michael Angelo, Raphael and Machiavelli, +(I suppose they are buried there, but it may be that they reside +elsewhere and rent their tombs to other parties--such being the fashion +in Italy,) and between times we used to go and stand on the bridges and +admire the Arno. It is popular to admire the Arno. It is a great +historical creek with four feet in the channel and some scows floating +around. It would be a very plausible river if they would pump some water +into it. They all call it a river, and they honestly think it is a +river, do these dark and bloody Florentines. They even help out the +delusion by building bridges over it. I do not see why they are too good +to wade. + +How the fatigues and annoyances of travel fill one with bitter prejudices +sometimes! I might enter Florence under happier auspices a month hence +and find it all beautiful, all attractive. But I do not care to think of +it now, at all, nor of its roomy shops filled to the ceiling with snowy +marble and alabaster copies of all the celebrated sculptures in Europe +--copies so enchanting to the eye that I wonder how they can really be +shaped like the dingy petrified nightmares they are the portraits of. I +got lost in Florence at nine o'clock, one night, and staid lost in that +labyrinth of narrow streets and long rows of vast buildings that look all +alike, until toward three o'clock in the morning. It was a pleasant +night and at first there were a good many people abroad, and there were +cheerful lights about. Later, I grew accustomed to prowling about +mysterious drifts and tunnels and astonishing and interesting myself with +coming around corners expecting to find the hotel staring me in the face, +and not finding it doing any thing of the kind. Later still, I felt +tired. I soon felt remarkably tired. But there was no one abroad, now +--not even a policeman. I walked till I was out of all patience, and very +hot and thirsty. At last, somewhere after one o'clock, I came +unexpectedly to one of the city gates. I knew then that I was very far +from the hotel. The soldiers thought I wanted to leave the city, and +they sprang up and barred the way with their muskets. I said: + +"Hotel d'Europe!" + +It was all the Italian I knew, and I was not certain whether that was +Italian or French. The soldiers looked stupidly at each other and at me, +and shook their heads and took me into custody. I said I wanted to go +home. They did not understand me. They took me into the guard-house and +searched me, but they found no sedition on me. They found a small piece +of soap (we carry soap with us, now,) and I made them a present of it, +seeing that they regarded it as a curiosity. I continued to say Hotel +d'Europe, and they continued to shake their heads, until at last a young +soldier nodding in the corner roused up and said something. He said he +knew where the hotel was, I suppose, for the officer of the guard sent +him away with me. We walked a hundred or a hundred and fifty miles, it +appeared to me, and then he got lost. He turned this way and that, and +finally gave it up and signified that he was going to spend the remainder +of the morning trying to find the city gate again. At that moment it +struck me that there was something familiar about the house over the way. +It was the hotel! + +It was a happy thing for me that there happened to be a soldier there +that knew even as much as he did; for they say that the policy of the +government is to change the soldiery from one place to another constantly +and from country to city, so that they can not become acquainted with the +people and grow lax in their duties and enter into plots and conspiracies +with friends. My experiences of Florence were chiefly unpleasant. I +will change the subject. + +At Pisa we climbed up to the top of the strangest structure the world has +any knowledge of--the Leaning Tower. As every one knows, it is in the +neighborhood of one hundred and eighty feet high--and I beg to observe +that one hundred and eighty feet reach to about the hight of four +ordinary three-story buildings piled one on top of the other, and is a +very considerable altitude for a tower of uniform thickness to aspire to, +even when it stands upright--yet this one leans more than thirteen feet +out of the perpendicular. It is seven hundred years old, but neither +history or tradition say whether it was built as it is, purposely, or +whether one of its sides has settled. There is no record that it ever +stood straight up. It is built of marble. It is an airy and a beautiful +structure, and each of its eight stories is encircled by fluted columns, +some of marble and some of granite, with Corinthian capitals that were +handsome when they were new. It is a bell tower, and in its top hangs a +chime of ancient bells. The winding staircase within is dark, but one +always knows which side of the tower he is on because of his naturally +gravitating from one side to the other of the staircase with the rise or +dip of the tower. Some of the stone steps are foot-worn only on one end; +others only on the other end; others only in the middle. To look down +into the tower from the top is like looking down into a tilted well. A +rope that hangs from the centre of the top touches the wall before it +reaches the bottom. Standing on the summit, one does not feel altogether +comfortable when he looks down from the high side; but to crawl on your +breast to the verge on the lower side and try to stretch your neck out +far enough to see the base of the tower, makes your flesh creep, and +convinces you for a single moment in spite of all your philosophy, that +the building is falling. You handle yourself very carefully, all the +time, under the silly impression that if it is not falling, your trifling +weight will start it unless you are particular not to "bear down" on it. + +The Duomo, close at hand, is one of the finest cathedrals in Europe. It +is eight hundred years old. Its grandeur has outlived the high +commercial prosperity and the political importance that made it a +necessity, or rather a possibility. Surrounded by poverty, decay and +ruin, it conveys to us a more tangible impression of the former greatness +of Pisa than books could give us. + +The Baptistery, which is a few years older than the Leaning Tower, is a +stately rotunda, of huge dimensions, and was a costly structure. In it +hangs the lamp whose measured swing suggested to Galileo the pendulum. +It looked an insignificant thing to have conferred upon the world of +science and mechanics such a mighty extension of their dominions as it +has. Pondering, in its suggestive presence, I seemed to see a crazy +universe of swinging disks, the toiling children of this sedate parent. +He appeared to have an intelligent expression about him of knowing that +he was not a lamp at all; that he was a Pendulum; a pendulum disguised, +for prodigious and inscrutable purposes of his own deep devising, and not +a common pendulum either, but the old original patriarchal Pendulum--the +Abraham Pendulum of the world. + +This Baptistery is endowed with the most pleasing echo of all the echoes +we have read of. The guide sounded two sonorous notes, about half an +octave apart; the echo answered with the most enchanting, the most +melodious, the richest blending of sweet sounds that one can imagine. It +was like a long-drawn chord of a church organ, infinitely softened by +distance. I may be extravagant in this matter, but if this be the case +my ear is to blame--not my pen. I am describing a memory--and one that +will remain long with me. + +The peculiar devotional spirit of the olden time, which placed a higher +confidence in outward forms of worship than in the watchful guarding of +the heart against sinful thoughts and the hands against sinful deeds, and +which believed in the protecting virtues of inanimate objects made holy +by contact with holy things, is illustrated in a striking manner in one +of the cemeteries of Pisa. The tombs are set in soil brought in ships +from the Holy Land ages ago. To be buried in such ground was regarded by +the ancient Pisans as being more potent for salvation than many masses +purchased of the church and the vowing of many candles to the Virgin. + +Pisa is believed to be about three thousand years old. It was one of the +twelve great cities of ancient Etruria, that commonwealth which has left +so many monuments in testimony of its extraordinary advancement, and so +little history of itself that is tangible and comprehensible. A Pisan +antiquarian gave me an ancient tear-jug which he averred was full four +thousand years old. It was found among the ruins of one of the oldest of +the Etruscan cities. He said it came from a tomb, and was used by some +bereaved family in that remote age when even the Pyramids of Egypt were +young, Damascus a village, Abraham a prattling infant and ancient Troy +not yet [dreampt] of, to receive the tears wept for some lost idol of a +household. It spoke to us in a language of its own; and with a pathos +more tender than any words might bring, its mute eloquence swept down the +long roll of the centuries with its tale of a vacant chair, a familiar +footstep missed from the threshold, a pleasant voice gone from the +chorus, a vanished form!--a tale which is always so new to us, so +startling, so terrible, so benumbing to the senses, and behold how +threadbare and old it is! No shrewdly-worded history could have brought +the myths and shadows of that old dreamy age before us clothed with human +flesh and warmed with human sympathies so vividly as did this poor little +unsentient vessel of pottery. + +Pisa was a republic in the middle ages, with a government of her own, +armies and navies of her own and a great commerce. She was a warlike +power, and inscribed upon her banners many a brilliant fight with Genoese +and Turks. It is said that the city once numbered a population of four +hundred thousand; but her sceptre has passed from her grasp, now, her +ships and her armies are gone, her commerce is dead. Her battle-flags +bear the mold and the dust of centuries, her marts are deserted, she has +shrunken far within her crumbling walls, and her great population has +diminished to twenty thousand souls. She has but one thing left to boast +of, and that is not much, viz: she is the second city of Tuscany. + +We reached Leghorn in time to see all we wished to see of it long before +the city gates were closed for the evening, and then came on board the +ship. + +We felt as though we had been away from home an age. We never entirely +appreciated, before, what a very pleasant den our state-room is; nor how +jolly it is to sit at dinner in one's own seat in one's own cabin, and +hold familiar conversation with friends in one's own language. Oh, the +rare happiness of comprehending every single word that is said, and +knowing that every word one says in return will be understood as well! +We would talk ourselves to death, now, only there are only about ten +passengers out of the sixty-five to talk to. The others are wandering, +we hardly know where. We shall not go ashore in Leghorn. We are +surfeited with Italian cities for the present, and much prefer to walk +the familiar quarterdeck and view this one from a distance. + +The stupid magnates of this Leghorn government can not understand that so +large a steamer as ours could cross the broad Atlantic with no other +purpose than to indulge a party of ladies and gentlemen in a pleasure +excursion. It looks too improbable. It is suspicious, they think. +Something more important must be hidden behind it all. They can not +understand it, and they scorn the evidence of the ship's papers. They +have decided at last that we are a battalion of incendiary, blood-thirsty +Garibaldians in disguise! And in all seriousness they have set a +gun-boat to watch the vessel night and day, with orders to close down on +any revolutionary movement in a twinkling! Police boats are on patrol +duty about us all the time, and it is as much as a sailor's liberty is +worth to show himself in a red shirt. These policemen follow the +executive officer's boat from shore to ship and from ship to shore and +watch his dark maneuvres with a vigilant eye. They will arrest him yet +unless he assumes an expression of countenance that shall have less of +carnage, insurrection and sedition in it. A visit paid in a friendly +way to General Garibaldi yesterday (by cordial invitation,) by some of +our passengers, has gone far to confirm the dread suspicions the +government harbors toward us. It is thought the friendly visit was only +the cloak of a bloody conspiracy. These people draw near and watch us +when we bathe in the sea from the ship's side. Do they think we are +communing with a reserve force of rascals at the bottom? + +It is said that we shall probably be quarantined at Naples. Two or three +of us prefer not to run this risk. Therefore, when we are rested, we +propose to go in a French steamer to Civita and from thence to Rome, and +by rail to Naples. They do not quarantine the cars, no matter where they +got their passengers from. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +There are a good many things about this Italy which I do not understand +--and more especially I can not understand how a bankrupt Government can +have such palatial railroad depots and such marvels of turnpikes. Why, +these latter are as hard as adamant, as straight as a line, as smooth as +a floor, and as white as snow. When it is too dark to see any other +object, one can still see the white turnpikes of France and Italy; and +they are clean enough to eat from, without a table-cloth. And yet no +tolls are charged. + +As for the railways--we have none like them. The cars slide as smoothly +along as if they were on runners. The depots are vast palaces of cut +marble, with stately colonnades of the same royal stone traversing them +from end to end, and with ample walls and ceilings richly decorated with +frescoes. The lofty gateways are graced with statues, and the broad +floors are all laid in polished flags of marble. + +These things win me more than Italy's hundred galleries of priceless art +treasures, because I can understand the one and am not competent to +appreciate the other. In the turnpikes, the railways, the depots, and +the new boulevards of uniform houses in Florence and other cities here, I +see the genius of Louis Napoleon, or rather, I see the works of that +statesman imitated. But Louis has taken care that in France there shall +be a foundation for these improvements--money. He has always the +wherewithal to back up his projects; they strengthen France and never +weaken her. Her material prosperity is genuine. But here the case is +different. This country is bankrupt. There is no real foundation for +these great works. The prosperity they would seem to indicate is a +pretence. There is no money in the treasury, and so they enfeeble her +instead of strengthening. Italy has achieved the dearest wish of her +heart and become an independent State--and in so doing she has drawn an +elephant in the political lottery. She has nothing to feed it on. +Inexperienced in government, she plunged into all manner of useless +expenditure, and swamped her treasury almost in a day. She squandered +millions of francs on a navy which she did not need, and the first time +she took her new toy into action she got it knocked higher than +Gilderoy's kite--to use the language of the Pilgrims. + +But it is an ill-wind that blows nobody good. A year ago, when Italy saw +utter ruin staring her in the face and her greenbacks hardly worth the +paper they were printed on, her Parliament ventured upon a 'coup de main' +that would have appalled the stoutest of her statesmen under less +desperate circumstances. They, in a manner, confiscated the domains of +the Church! This in priest-ridden Italy! This in a land which has +groped in the midnight of priestly superstition for sixteen hundred +years! It was a rare good fortune for Italy, the stress of weather that +drove her to break from this prison-house. + +They do not call it confiscating the church property. That would sound +too harshly yet. But it amounts to that. There are thousands of +churches in Italy, each with untold millions of treasures stored away in +its closets, and each with its battalion of priests to be supported. +And then there are the estates of the Church--league on league of the +richest lands and the noblest forests in all Italy--all yielding immense +revenues to the Church, and none paying a cent in taxes to the State. +In some great districts the Church owns all the property--lands, +watercourses, woods, mills and factories. They buy, they sell, they +manufacture, and since they pay no taxes, who can hope to compete with +them? + +Well, the Government has seized all this in effect, and will yet seize it +in rigid and unpoetical reality, no doubt. Something must be done to +feed a starving treasury, and there is no other resource in all Italy +--none but the riches of the Church. So the Government intends to take to +itself a great portion of the revenues arising from priestly farms, +factories, etc., and also intends to take possession of the churches and +carry them on, after its own fashion and upon its own responsibility. +In a few instances it will leave the establishments of great pet churches +undisturbed, but in all others only a handful of priests will be retained +to preach and pray, a few will be pensioned, and the balance turned +adrift. + +Pray glance at some of these churches and their embellishments, and see +whether the Government is doing a righteous thing or not. In Venice, +today, a city of a hundred thousand inhabitants, there are twelve hundred +priests. Heaven only knows how many there were before the Parliament +reduced their numbers. There was the great Jesuit Church. Under the old +regime it required sixty priests to engineer it--the Government does it +with five, now, and the others are discharged from service. All about +that church wretchedness and poverty abound. At its door a dozen hats +and bonnets were doffed to us, as many heads were humbly bowed, and as +many hands extended, appealing for pennies--appealing with foreign words +we could not understand, but appealing mutely, with sad eyes, and sunken +cheeks, and ragged raiment, that no words were needed to translate. Then +we passed within the great doors, and it seemed that the riches of the +world were before us! Huge columns carved out of single masses of +marble, and inlaid from top to bottom with a hundred intricate figures +wrought in costly verde antique; pulpits of the same rich materials, +whose draperies hung down in many a pictured fold, the stony fabric +counterfeiting the delicate work of the loom; the grand altar brilliant +with polished facings and balustrades of oriental agate, jasper, verde +antique, and other precious stones, whose names, even, we seldom hear +--and slabs of priceless lapis lazuli lavished every where as recklessly as +if the church had owned a quarry of it. In the midst of all this +magnificence, the solid gold and silver furniture of the altar seemed +cheap and trivial. Even the floors and ceilings cost a princely fortune. + +Now, where is the use of allowing all those riches to lie idle, while +half of that community hardly know, from day to day, how they are going +to keep body and soul together? And, where is the wisdom in permitting +hundreds upon hundreds of millions of francs to be locked up in the +useless trumpery of churches all over Italy, and the people ground to +death with taxation to uphold a perishing Government? + +As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her +energies, all her finances, and all her industry to the building up of a +vast array of wonderful church edifices, and starving half her citizens +to accomplish it. She is to-day one vast museum of magnificence and +misery. All the churches in an ordinary American city put together could +hardly buy the jeweled frippery in one of her hundred cathedrals. And +for every beggar in America, Italy can show a hundred--and rags and +vermin to match. It is the wretchedest, princeliest land on earth. + +Look at the grand Duomo of Florence--a vast pile that has been sapping +the purses of her citizens for five hundred years, and is not nearly +finished yet. Like all other men, I fell down and worshipped it, but +when the filthy beggars swarmed around me the contrast was too striking, +too suggestive, and I said, "O, sons of classic Italy, is the spirit of +enterprise, of self-reliance, of noble endeavor, utterly dead within ye? +Curse your indolent worthlessness, why don't you rob your church?" + +Three hundred happy, comfortable priests are employed in that Cathedral. + +And now that my temper is up, I may as well go on and abuse every body I +can think of. They have a grand mausoleum in Florence, which they built +to bury our Lord and Saviour and the Medici family in. It sounds +blasphemous, but it is true, and here they act blasphemy. The dead and +damned Medicis who cruelly tyrannized over Florence and were her curse +for over two hundred years, are salted away in a circle of costly vaults, +and in their midst the Holy Sepulchre was to have been set up. The +expedition sent to Jerusalem to seize it got into trouble and could not +accomplish the burglary, and so the centre of the mausoleum is vacant +now. They say the entire mausoleum was intended for the Holy Sepulchre, +and was only turned into a family burying place after the Jerusalem +expedition failed--but you will excuse me. Some of those Medicis would +have smuggled themselves in sure.--What they had not the effrontery to +do, was not worth doing. Why, they had their trivial, forgotten exploits +on land and sea pictured out in grand frescoes (as did also the ancient +Doges of Venice) with the Saviour and the Virgin throwing bouquets to +them out of the clouds, and the Deity himself applauding from his throne +in Heaven! And who painted these things? Why, Titian, Tintoretto, Paul +Veronese, Raphael--none other than the world's idols, the "old masters." + +Andrea del Sarto glorified his princes in pictures that must save them +for ever from the oblivion they merited, and they let him starve. Served +him right. Raphael pictured such infernal villains as Catherine and +Marie de Medicis seated in heaven and conversing familiarly with the +Virgin Mary and the angels, (to say nothing of higher personages,) and +yet my friends abuse me because I am a little prejudiced against the old +masters--because I fail sometimes to see the beauty that is in their +productions. I can not help but see it, now and then, but I keep on +protesting against the groveling spirit that could persuade those masters +to prostitute their noble talents to the adulation of such monsters as +the French, Venetian and Florentine Princes of two and three hundred +years ago, all the same. + +I am told that the old masters had to do these shameful things for bread, +the princes and potentates being the only patrons of art. If a grandly +gifted man may drag his pride and his manhood in the dirt for bread +rather than starve with the nobility that is in him untainted, the excuse +is a valid one. It would excuse theft in Washingtons and Wellingtons, +and unchastity in women as well. + +But somehow, I can not keep that Medici mausoleum out of my memory. It +is as large as a church; its pavement is rich enough for the pavement of +a King's palace; its great dome is gorgeous with frescoes; its walls are +made of--what? Marble?--plaster?--wood?--paper? No. Red porphyry +--verde antique--jasper--oriental agate--alabaster--mother-of-pearl +--chalcedony--red coral--lapis lazuli! All the vast walls are made wholly +of these precious stones, worked in, and in and in together in elaborate +patterns and figures, and polished till they glow like great mirrors +with the pictured splendors reflected from the dome overhead. And before +a statue of one of those dead Medicis reposes a crown that blazes with +diamonds and emeralds enough to buy a ship-of-the-line, almost. These +are the things the Government has its evil eye upon, and a happy thing it +will be for Italy when they melt away in the public treasury. + +And now----. However, another beggar approaches. I will go out and +destroy him, and then come back and write another chapter of +vituperation. + +Having eaten the friendless orphan--having driven away his comrades +--having grown calm and reflective at length--I now feel in a kindlier +mood. I feel that after talking so freely about the priests and the +churches, justice demands that if I know any thing good about either I +ought to say it. I have heard of many things that redound to the credit +of the priesthood, but the most notable matter that occurs to me now is +the devotion one of the mendicant orders showed during the prevalence of +the cholera last year. I speak of the Dominican friars--men who wear a +coarse, heavy brown robe and a cowl, in this hot climate, and go +barefoot. They live on alms altogether, I believe. They must +unquestionably love their religion, to suffer so much for it. When the +cholera was raging in Naples; when the people were dying by hundreds and +hundreds every day; when every concern for the public welfare was +swallowed up in selfish private interest, and every citizen made the +taking care of himself his sole object, these men banded themselves +together and went about nursing the sick and burying the dead. Their +noble efforts cost many of them their lives. They laid them down +cheerfully, and well they might. Creeds mathematically precise, and +hair-splitting niceties of doctrine, are absolutely necessary for the +salvation of some kinds of souls, but surely the charity, the purity, the +unselfishness that are in the hearts of men like these would save their +souls though they were bankrupt in the true religion--which is ours. + +One of these fat bare-footed rascals came here to Civita Vecchia with us +in the little French steamer. There were only half a dozen of us in the +cabin. He belonged in the steerage. He was the life of the ship, the +bloody-minded son of the Inquisition! He and the leader of the marine +band of a French man-of-war played on the piano and sang opera turn +about; they sang duets together; they rigged impromptu theatrical +costumes and gave us extravagant farces and pantomimes. We got along +first-rate with the friar, and were excessively conversational, albeit he +could not understand what we said, and certainly he never uttered a word +that we could guess the meaning of. + +This Civita Vecchia is the finest nest of dirt, vermin and ignorance we +have found yet, except that African perdition they call Tangier, which is +just like it. The people here live in alleys two yards wide, which have +a smell about them which is peculiar but not entertaining. It is well +the alleys are not wider, because they hold as much smell now as a person +can stand, and of course, if they were wider they would hold more, and +then the people would die. These alleys are paved with stone, and +carpeted with deceased cats, and decayed rags, and decomposed +vegetable-tops, and remnants of old boots, all soaked with dish-water, +and the people sit around on stools and enjoy it. They are indolent, as +a general thing, and yet have few pastimes. They work two or three +hours at a time, but not hard, and then they knock off and catch flies. +This does not require any talent, because they only have to grab--if +they do not get the one they are after, they get another. It is all the +same to them. They have no partialities. Whichever one they get is the +one they want. + +They have other kinds of insects, but it does not make them arrogant. +They are very quiet, unpretending people. They have more of these kind +of things than other communities, but they do not boast. + +They are very uncleanly--these people--in face, in person and dress. +When they see any body with a clean shirt on, it arouses their scorn. +The women wash clothes, half the day, at the public tanks in the streets, +but they are probably somebody else's. Or may be they keep one set to +wear and another to wash; because they never put on any that have ever +been washed. When they get done washing, they sit in the alleys and +nurse their cubs. They nurse one ash-cat at a time, and the others +scratch their backs against the door-post and are happy. + +All this country belongs to the Papal States. They do not appear to have +any schools here, and only one billiard table. Their education is at a +very low stage. One portion of the men go into the military, another +into the priesthood, and the rest into the shoe-making business. + +They keep up the passport system here, but so they do in Turkey. This +shows that the Papal States are as far advanced as Turkey. This fact +will be alone sufficient to silence the tongues of malignant +calumniators. I had to get my passport vised for Rome in Florence, and +then they would not let me come ashore here until a policeman had +examined it on the wharf and sent me a permit. They did not even dare to +let me take my passport in my hands for twelve hours, I looked so +formidable. They judged it best to let me cool down. They thought I +wanted to take the town, likely. Little did they know me. I wouldn't +have it. They examined my baggage at the depot. They took one of my +ablest jokes and read it over carefully twice and then read it backwards. +But it was too deep for them. They passed it around, and every body +speculated on it awhile, but it mastered them all. + +It was no common joke. At length a veteran officer spelled it over +deliberately and shook his head three or four times and said that in his +opinion it was seditious. That was the first time I felt alarmed. I +immediately said I would explain the document, and they crowded around. +And so I explained and explained and explained, and they took notes of +all I said, but the more I explained the more they could not understand +it, and when they desisted at last, I could not even understand it +myself. They said they believed it was an incendiary document, leveled +at the government. I declared solemnly that it was not, but they only +shook their heads and would not be satisfied. Then they consulted a good +while; and finally they confiscated it. I was very sorry for this, +because I had worked a long time on that joke, and took a good deal of +pride in it, and now I suppose I shall never see it any more. I suppose +it will be sent up and filed away among the criminal archives of Rome, +and will always be regarded as a mysterious infernal machine which would +have blown up like a mine and scattered the good Pope all around, but for +a miraculous providential interference. And I suppose that all the time +I am in Rome the police will dog me about from place to place because +they think I am a dangerous character. + +It is fearfully hot in Civita Vecchia. The streets are made very narrow +and the houses built very solid and heavy and high, as a protection +against the heat. This is the first Italian town I have seen which does +not appear to have a patron saint. I suppose no saint but the one that +went up in the chariot of fire could stand the climate. + +There is nothing here to see. They have not even a cathedral, with +eleven tons of solid silver archbishops in the back room; and they do not +show you any moldy buildings that are seven thousand years old; nor any +smoke-dried old fire-screens which are chef d'oeuvres of Reubens or +Simpson, or Titian or Ferguson, or any of those parties; and they haven't +any bottled fragments of saints, and not even a nail from the true cross. +We are going to Rome. There is nothing to see here. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +What is it that confers the noblest delight? What is that which swells a +man's breast with pride above that which any other experience can bring +to him? Discovery! To know that you are walking where none others have +walked; that you are beholding what human eye has not seen before; that +you are breathing a virgin atmosphere. To give birth to an idea--to +discover a great thought--an intellectual nugget, right under the dust of +a field that many a brain--plow had gone over before. To find a new +planet, to invent a new hinge, to find the way to make the lightnings +carry your messages. To be the first--that is the idea. To do +something, say something, see something, before any body else--these are +the things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are +tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial. Morse, with his +first message, brought by his servant, the lightning; Fulton, in that +long-drawn century of suspense, when he placed his hand upon the +throttle-valve and lo, the steamboat moved; Jenner, when his patient with +the cow's virus in his blood, walked through the smallpox hospitals +unscathed; Howe, when the idea shot through his brain that for a hundred +and twenty generations the eye had been bored through the wrong end of +the needle; the nameless lord of art who laid down his chisel in some old +age that is forgotten, now, and gloated upon the finished Laocoon; +Daguerre, when he commanded the sun, riding in the zenith, to print the +landscape upon his insignificant silvered plate, and he obeyed; Columbus, +in the Pinta's shrouds, when he swung his hat above a fabled sea and +gazed abroad upon an unknown world! These are the men who have really +lived--who have actually comprehended what pleasure is--who have crowded +long lifetimes of ecstasy into a single moment. + +What is there in Rome for me to see that others have not seen before me? +What is there for me to touch that others have not touched? What is +there for me to feel, to learn, to hear, to know, that shall thrill me +before it pass to others? What can I discover?--Nothing. Nothing +whatsoever. One charm of travel dies here. But if I were only a Roman! +--If, added to my own I could be gifted with modern Roman sloth, modern +Roman superstition, and modern Roman boundlessness of ignorance, what +bewildering worlds of unsuspected wonders I would discover! Ah, if I +were only a habitant of the Campagna five and twenty miles from Rome! +Then I would travel. + +I would go to America, and see, and learn, and return to the Campagna and +stand before my countrymen an illustrious discoverer. I would say: + +"I saw there a country which has no overshadowing Mother Church, and yet +the people survive. I saw a government which never was protected by +foreign soldiers at a cost greater than that required to carry on the +government itself. I saw common men and common women who could read; +I even saw small children of common country people reading from books; +if I dared think you would believe it, I would say they could write, +also. + +"In the cities I saw people drinking a delicious beverage made of chalk +and water, but never once saw goats driven through their Broadway or +their Pennsylvania Avenue or their Montgomery street and milked at the +doors of the houses. I saw real glass windows in the houses of even the +commonest people. Some of the houses are not of stone, nor yet of +bricks; I solemnly swear they are made of wood. Houses there will take +fire and burn, sometimes--actually burn entirely down, and not leave a +single vestige behind. I could state that for a truth, upon my +death-bed. And as a proof that the circumstance is not rare, I aver +that they have a thing which they call a fire-engine, which vomits forth +great streams of water, and is kept always in readiness, by night and by +day, to rush to houses that are burning. You would think one engine +would be sufficient, but some great cities have a hundred; they keep men +hired, and pay them by the month to do nothing but put out fires. For a +certain sum of money other men will insure that your house shall not +burn down; and if it burns they will pay you for it. There are hundreds +and thousands of schools, and any body may go and learn to be wise, like +a priest. In that singular country if a rich man dies a sinner, he is +damned; he can not buy salvation with money for masses. There is really +not much use in being rich, there. Not much use as far as the other +world is concerned, but much, very much use, as concerns this; because +there, if a man be rich, he is very greatly honored, and can become a +legislator, a governor, a general, a senator, no matter how ignorant an +ass he is--just as in our beloved Italy the nobles hold all the great +places, even though sometimes they are born noble idiots. There, if a +man be rich, they give him costly presents, they ask him to feasts, they +invite him to drink complicated beverages; but if he be poor and in +debt, they require him to do that which they term to "settle." The +women put on a different dress almost every day; the dress is usually +fine, but absurd in shape; the very shape and fashion of it changes +twice in a hundred years; and did I but covet to be called an +extravagant falsifier, I would say it changed even oftener. Hair does +not grow upon the American women's heads; it is made for them by cunning +workmen in the shops, and is curled and frizzled into scandalous and +ungodly forms. Some persons wear eyes of glass which they see through +with facility perhaps, else they would not use them; and in the mouths +of some are teeth made by the sacrilegious hand of man. The dress of +the men is laughably grotesque. They carry no musket in ordinary life, +nor no long-pointed pole; they wear no wide green-lined cloak; they wear +no peaked black felt hat, no leathern gaiters reaching to the knee, no +goat-skin breeches with the hair side out, no hob-nailed shoes, no +prodigious spurs. They wear a conical hat termed a "nail-kag;" a coat +of saddest black; a shirt which shows dirt so easily that it has to be +changed every month, and is very troublesome; things called pantaloons, +which are held up by shoulder straps, and on their feet they wear boots +which are ridiculous in pattern and can stand no wear. Yet dressed in +this fantastic garb, these people laughed at my costume. In that +country, books are so common that it is really no curiosity to see one. +Newspapers also. They have a great machine which prints such things by +thousands every hour. + +"I saw common men, there--men who were neither priests nor princes--who +yet absolutely owned the land they tilled. It was not rented from the +church, nor from the nobles. I am ready to take my oath of this. In +that country you might fall from a third story window three several +times, and not mash either a soldier or a priest.--The scarcity of such +people is astonishing. In the cities you will see a dozen civilians for +every soldier, and as many for every priest or preacher. Jews, there, +are treated just like human beings, instead of dogs. They can work at +any business they please; they can sell brand new goods if they want to; +they can keep drug-stores; they can practice medicine among Christians; +they can even shake hands with Christians if they choose; they can +associate with them, just the same as one human being does with another +human being; they don't have to stay shut up in one corner of the towns; +they can live in any part of a town they like best; it is said they even +have the privilege of buying land and houses, and owning them themselves, +though I doubt that, myself; they never have had to run races naked +through the public streets, against jackasses, to please the people in +carnival time; there they never have been driven by the soldiers into a +church every Sunday for hundreds of years to hear themselves and their +religion especially and particularly cursed; at this very day, in that +curious country, a Jew is allowed to vote, hold office, yea, get up on a +rostrum in the public street and express his opinion of the government if +the government don't suit him! Ah, it is wonderful. The common people +there know a great deal; they even have the effrontery to complain if +they are not properly governed, and to take hold and help conduct the +government themselves; if they had laws like ours, which give one dollar +of every three a crop produces to the government for taxes, they would +have that law altered: instead of paying thirty-three dollars in taxes, +out of every one hundred they receive, they complain if they have to pay +seven. They are curious people. They do not know when they are well +off. Mendicant priests do not prowl among them with baskets begging for +the church and eating up their substance. One hardly ever sees a +minister of the gospel going around there in his bare feet, with a +basket, begging for subsistence. In that country the preachers are not +like our mendicant orders of friars--they have two or three suits of +clothing, and they wash sometimes. In that land are mountains far higher +than the Alban mountains; the vast Roman Campagna, a hundred miles long +and full forty broad, is really small compared to the United States of +America; the Tiber, that celebrated river of ours, which stretches its +mighty course almost two hundred miles, and which a lad can scarcely +throw a stone across at Rome, is not so long, nor yet so wide, as the +American Mississippi--nor yet the Ohio, nor even the Hudson. In America +the people are absolutely wiser and know much more than their +grandfathers did. They do not plow with a sharpened stick, nor yet with +a three-cornered block of wood that merely scratches the top of the +ground. We do that because our fathers did, three thousand years ago, I +suppose. But those people have no holy reverence for their ancestors. +They plow with a plow that is a sharp, curved blade of iron, and it cuts +into the earth full five inches. And this is not all. They cut their +grain with a horrid machine that mows down whole fields in a day. If I +dared, I would say that sometimes they use a blasphemous plow that works +by fire and vapor and tears up an acre of ground in a single hour--but +--but--I see by your looks that you do not believe the things I am telling +you. Alas, my character is ruined, and I am a branded speaker of +untruths!" + +Of course we have been to the monster Church of St. Peter, frequently. +I knew its dimensions. I knew it was a prodigious structure. I knew it +was just about the length of the capitol at Washington--say seven hundred +and thirty feet. I knew it was three hundred and sixty-four feet wide, +and consequently wider than the capitol. I knew that the cross on the +top of the dome of the church was four hundred and thirty-eight feet +above the ground, and therefore about a hundred or may be a hundred and +twenty-five feet higher than the dome of the capitol.--Thus I had one +gauge. I wished to come as near forming a correct idea of how it was +going to look, as possible; I had a curiosity to see how much I would +err. I erred considerably. St. Peter's did not look nearly so large as +the capitol, and certainly not a twentieth part as beautiful, from the +outside. + +When we reached the door, and stood fairly within the church, it was +impossible to comprehend that it was a very large building. I had to +cipher a comprehension of it. I had to ransack my memory for some more +similes. St. Peter's is bulky. Its height and size would represent two +of the Washington capitol set one on top of the other--if the capitol +were wider; or two blocks or two blocks and a half of ordinary buildings +set one on top of the other. St. Peter's was that large, but it could +and would not look so. The trouble was that every thing in it and about +it was on such a scale of uniform vastness that there were no contrasts +to judge by--none but the people, and I had not noticed them. They were +insects. The statues of children holding vases of holy water were +immense, according to the tables of figures, but so was every thing else +around them. The mosaic pictures in the dome were huge, and were made of +thousands and thousands of cubes of glass as large as the end of my +little finger, but those pictures looked smooth, and gaudy of color, and +in good proportion to the dome. Evidently they would not answer to +measure by. Away down toward the far end of the church (I thought it was +really clear at the far end, but discovered afterward that it was in the +centre, under the dome,) stood the thing they call the baldacchino--a +great bronze pyramidal frame-work like that which upholds a mosquito bar. +It only looked like a considerably magnified bedstead--nothing more. Yet +I knew it was a good deal more than half as high as Niagara Falls. It +was overshadowed by a dome so mighty that its own height was snubbed. +The four great square piers or pillars that stand equidistant from each +other in the church, and support the roof, I could not work up to their +real dimensions by any method of comparison. I knew that the faces of +each were about the width of a very large dwelling-house front, (fifty or +sixty feet,) and that they were twice as high as an ordinary three-story +dwelling, but still they looked small. I tried all the different ways I +could think of to compel myself to understand how large St. Peter's was, +but with small success. The mosaic portrait of an Apostle who was +writing with a pen six feet long seemed only an ordinary Apostle. + +But the people attracted my attention after a while. To stand in the +door of St. Peter's and look at men down toward its further extremity, +two blocks away, has a diminishing effect on them; surrounded by the +prodigious pictures and statues, and lost in the vast spaces, they look +very much smaller than they would if they stood two blocks away in the +open air. I "averaged" a man as he passed me and watched him as he +drifted far down by the baldacchino and beyond--watched him dwindle to an +insignificant school-boy, and then, in the midst of the silent throng of +human pigmies gliding about him, I lost him. The church had lately been +decorated, on the occasion of a great ceremony in honor of St. Peter, and +men were engaged, now, in removing the flowers and gilt paper from the +walls and pillars. As no ladders could reach the great heights, the men +swung themselves down from balustrades and the capitals of pilasters by +ropes, to do this work. The upper gallery which encircles the inner +sweep of the dome is two hundred and forty feet above the floor of the +church--very few steeples in America could reach up to it. Visitors +always go up there to look down into the church because one gets the best +idea of some of the heights and distances from that point. While we +stood on the floor one of the workmen swung loose from that gallery at +the end of a long rope. I had not supposed, before, that a man could +look so much like a spider. He was insignificant in size, and his rope +seemed only a thread. Seeing that he took up so little space, I could +believe the story, then, that ten thousand troops went to St. Peter's, +once, to hear mass, and their commanding officer came afterward, and not +finding them, supposed they had not yet arrived. But they were in the +church, nevertheless--they were in one of the transepts. Nearly fifty +thousand persons assembled in St. Peter's to hear the publishing of the +dogma of the Immaculate Conception. It is estimated that the floor of +the church affords standing room for--for a large number of people; I +have forgotten the exact figures. But it is no matter--it is near +enough. + +They have twelve small pillars, in St. Peter's, which came from Solomon's +Temple. They have, also--which was far more interesting to me--a piece +of the true cross, and some nails, and a part of the crown of thorns. + +Of course we ascended to the summit of the dome, and of course we also +went up into the gilt copper ball which is above it.--There was room +there for a dozen persons, with a little crowding, and it was as close +and hot as an oven. Some of those people who are so fond of writing +their names in prominent places had been there before us--a million or +two, I should think. From the dome of St. Peter's one can see every +notable object in Rome, from the Castle of St. Angelo to the Coliseum. +He can discern the seven hills upon which Rome is built. He can see the +Tiber, and the locality of the bridge which Horatius kept "in the brave +days of old" when Lars Porsena attempted to cross it with his invading +host. He can see the spot where the Horatii and the Curatii fought their +famous battle. He can see the broad green Campagna, stretching away +toward the mountains, with its scattered arches and broken aqueducts of +the olden time, so picturesque in their gray ruin, and so daintily +festooned with vines. He can see the Alban Mountains, the Appenines, the +Sabine Hills, and the blue Mediterranean. He can see a panorama that is +varied, extensive, beautiful to the eye, and more illustrious in history +than any other in Europe.--About his feet is spread the remnant of a +city that once had a population of four million souls; and among its +massed edifices stand the ruins of temples, columns, and triumphal arches +that knew the Caesars, and the noonday of Roman splendor; and close by +them, in unimpaired strength, is a drain of arched and heavy masonry that +belonged to that older city which stood here before Romulus and Remus +were born or Rome thought of. The Appian Way is here yet, and looking +much as it did, perhaps, when the triumphal processions of the Emperors +moved over it in other days bringing fettered princes from the confines +of the earth. We can not see the long array of chariots and mail-clad +men laden with the spoils of conquest, but we can imagine the pageant, +after a fashion. We look out upon many objects of interest from the dome +of St. Peter's; and last of all, almost at our feet, our eyes rest upon +the building which was once the Inquisition. How times changed, between +the older ages and the new! Some seventeen or eighteen centuries ago, +the ignorant men of Rome were wont to put Christians in the arena of the +Coliseum yonder, and turn the wild beasts in upon them for a show. It +was for a lesson as well. It was to teach the people to abhor and fear +the new doctrine the followers of Christ were teaching. The beasts tore +the victims limb from limb and made poor mangled corpses of them in the +twinkling of an eye. But when the Christians came into power, when the +holy Mother Church became mistress of the barbarians, she taught them the +error of their ways by no such means. No, she put them in this pleasant +Inquisition and pointed to the Blessed Redeemer, who was so gentle and so +merciful toward all men, and they urged the barbarians to love him; and +they did all they could to persuade them to love and honor him--first by +twisting their thumbs out of joint with a screw; then by nipping their +flesh with pincers--red-hot ones, because they are the most comfortable +in cold weather; then by skinning them alive a little, and finally by +roasting them in public. They always convinced those barbarians. The +true religion, properly administered, as the good Mother Church used to +administer it, is very, very soothing. It is wonderfully persuasive, +also. There is a great difference between feeding parties to wild beasts +and stirring up their finer feelings in an Inquisition. One is the +system of degraded barbarians, the other of enlightened, civilized +people. It is a great pity the playful Inquisition is no more. + +I prefer not to describe St. Peter's. It has been done before. The +ashes of Peter, the disciple of the Saviour, repose in a crypt under the +baldacchino. We stood reverently in that place; so did we also in the +Mamertine Prison, where he was confined, where he converted the soldiers, +and where tradition says he caused a spring of water to flow in order +that he might baptize them. But when they showed us the print of Peter's +face in the hard stone of the prison wall and said he made that by +falling up against it, we doubted. And when, also, the monk at the +church of San Sebastian showed us a paving-stone with two great +footprints in it and said that Peter's feet made those, we lacked +confidence again. Such things do not impress one. The monk said that +angels came and liberated Peter from prison by night, and he started away +from Rome by the Appian Way. The Saviour met him and told him to go +back, which he did. Peter left those footprints in the stone upon which +he stood at the time. It was not stated how it was ever discovered whose +footprints they were, seeing the interview occurred secretly and at +night. The print of the face in the prison was that of a man of common +size; the footprints were those of a man ten or twelve feet high. The +discrepancy confirmed our unbelief. + +We necessarily visited the Forum, where Caesar was assassinated, and also +the Tarpeian Rock. We saw the Dying Gladiator at the Capitol, and I +think that even we appreciated that wonder of art; as much, perhaps, as +we did that fearful story wrought in marble, in the Vatican--the Laocoon. +And then the Coliseum. + +Every body knows the picture of the Coliseum; every body recognizes at +once that "looped and windowed" band-box with a side bitten out. Being +rather isolated, it shows to better advantage than any other of the +monuments of ancient Rome. Even the beautiful Pantheon, whose pagan +altars uphold the cross, now, and whose Venus, tricked out in consecrated +gimcracks, does reluctant duty as a Virgin Mary to-day, is built about +with shabby houses and its stateliness sadly marred. But the monarch of +all European ruins, the Coliseum, maintains that reserve and that royal +seclusion which is proper to majesty. Weeds and flowers spring from its +massy arches and its circling seats, and vines hang their fringes from +its lofty walls. An impressive silence broods over the monstrous +structure where such multitudes of men and women were wont to assemble in +other days. The butterflies have taken the places of the queens of +fashion and beauty of eighteen centuries ago, and the lizards sun +themselves in the sacred seat of the Emperor. More vividly than all the +written histories, the Coliseum tells the story of Rome's grandeur and +Rome's decay. It is the worthiest type of both that exists. Moving +about the Rome of to-day, we might find it hard to believe in her old +magnificence and her millions of population; but with this stubborn +evidence before us that she was obliged to have a theatre with sitting +room for eighty thousand persons and standing room for twenty thousand +more, to accommodate such of her citizens as required amusement, we find +belief less difficult. The Coliseum is over one thousand six hundred +feet long, seven hundred and fifty wide, and one hundred and sixty-five +high. Its shape is oval. + +In America we make convicts useful at the same time that we punish them +for their crimes. We farm them out and compel them to earn money for the +State by making barrels and building roads. Thus we combine business +with retribution, and all things are lovely. But in ancient Rome they +combined religious duty with pleasure. Since it was necessary that the +new sect called Christians should be exterminated, the people judged it +wise to make this work profitable to the State at the same time, and +entertaining to the public. In addition to the gladiatorial combats and +other shows, they sometimes threw members of the hated sect into the +arena of the Coliseum and turned wild beasts in upon them. It is +estimated that seventy thousand Christians suffered martyrdom in this +place. This has made the Coliseum holy ground, in the eyes of the +followers of the Saviour. And well it might; for if the chain that bound +a saint, and the footprints a saint has left upon a stone he chanced to +stand upon, be holy, surely the spot where a man gave up his life for his +faith is holy. + +Seventeen or eighteen centuries ago this Coliseum was the theatre of +Rome, and Rome was mistress of the world. Splendid pageants were +exhibited here, in presence of the Emperor, the great ministers of State, +the nobles, and vast audiences of citizens of smaller consequence. +Gladiators fought with gladiators and at times with warrior prisoners +from many a distant land. It was the theatre of Rome--of the world--and +the man of fashion who could not let fall in a casual and unintentional +manner something about "my private box at the Coliseum" could not move in +the first circles. When the clothing-store merchant wished to consume +the corner grocery man with envy, he bought secured seats in the front +row and let the thing be known. When the irresistible dry goods clerk +wished to blight and destroy, according to his native instinct, he got +himself up regardless of expense and took some other fellow's young lady +to the Coliseum, and then accented the affront by cramming her with ice +cream between the acts, or by approaching the cage and stirring up the +martyrs with his whalebone cane for her edification. The Roman swell was +in his true element only when he stood up against a pillar and fingered +his moustache unconscious of the ladies; when he viewed the bloody +combats through an opera-glass two inches long; when he excited the envy +of provincials by criticisms which showed that he had been to the +Coliseum many and many a time and was long ago over the novelty of it; +when he turned away with a yawn at last and said, + +"He a star! handles his sword like an apprentice brigand! he'll do for +the country, may be, but he don't answer for the metropolis!" + +Glad was the contraband that had a seat in the pit at the Saturday +matinee, and happy the Roman street-boy who ate his peanuts and guyed the +gladiators from the dizzy gallery. + +For me was reserved the high honor of discovering among the rubbish of +the ruined Coliseum the only playbill of that establishment now extant. +There was a suggestive smell of mint-drops about it still, a corner of it +had evidently been chewed, and on the margin, in choice Latin, these +words were written in a delicate female hand: + + "Meet me on the Tarpeian Rock tomorrow evening, dear, at sharp + seven. Mother will be absent on a visit to her friends in the + Sabine Hills. CLAUDIA." + +Ah, where is that lucky youth to-day, and where the little hand that +wrote those dainty lines? Dust and ashes these seventeen hundred years! + +Thus reads the bill: + + + ROMAN COLISEUM. + UNPARALLELED ATTRACTION! + NEW PROPERTIES! NEW LIONS! NEW GLADIATORS! + Engagement of the renowned + MARCUS MARCELLUS VALERIAN! + FOR SIX NIGHTS ONLY! + +The management beg leave to offer to the public an entertainment +surpassing in magnificence any thing that has heretofore been attempted +on any stage. No expense has been spared to make the opening season one +which shall be worthy the generous patronage which the management feel +sure will crown their efforts. The management beg leave to state that +they have succeeded in securing the services of a + + GALAXY OF TALENT! +such as has not been beheld in Rome before. + +The performance will commence this evening with a + + GRAND BROADSWORD COMBAT! +between two young and promising amateurs and a celebrated Parthian +gladiator who has just arrived a prisoner from the Camp of Verus. + +This will be followed by a grand moral + + BATTLE-AX ENGAGEMENT! +between the renowned Valerian (with one hand tied behind him,) and two +gigantic savages from Britain. + +After which the renowned Valerian (if he survive,) will fight with the +broad-sword, + + LEFT HANDED! +against six Sophomores and a Freshman from the Gladiatorial College! + +A long series of brilliant engagements will follow, in which the finest +talent of the Empire will take part + +After which the celebrated Infant Prodigy known as + + "THE YOUNG ACHILLES," +will engage four tiger whelps in combat, armed with no other weapon than +his little spear! + +The whole to conclude with a chaste and elegant + + GENERAL SLAUGHTER! +In which thirteen African Lions and twenty-two Barbarian Prisoners will +war with each other until all are exterminated. + + BOX OFFICE NOW OPEN. + +Dress Circle One Dollar; Children and Servants half price. + +An efficient police force will be on hand to preserve order and keep the +wild beasts from leaping the railings and discommoding the audience. + +Doors open at 7; performance begins at 8. + +POSITIVELY NO FREE LIST. + + Diodorus Job Press. + + +It was as singular as it was gratifying that I was also so fortunate as +to find among the rubbish of the arena, a stained and mutilated copy of +the Roman Daily Battle-Ax, containing a critique upon this very +performance. It comes to hand too late by many centuries to rank as +news, and therefore I translate and publish it simply to show how very +little the general style and phraseology of dramatic criticism has +altered in the ages that have dragged their slow length along since the +carriers laid this one damp and fresh before their Roman patrons: + + "THE OPENING SEASON.--COLISEUM.--Notwithstanding the inclemency of + the weather, quite a respectable number of the rank and fashion of + the city assembled last night to witness the debut upon metropolitan + boards of the young tragedian who has of late been winning such + golden opinions in the amphitheatres of the provinces. Some sixty + thousand persons were present, and but for the fact that the streets + were almost impassable, it is fair to presume that the house would + have been full. His august Majesty, the Emperor Aurelius, occupied + the imperial box, and was the cynosure of all eyes. Many + illustrious nobles and generals of the Empire graced the occasion + with their presence, and not the least among them was the young + patrician lieutenant whose laurels, won in the ranks of the + "Thundering Legion," are still so green upon his brow. The cheer + which greeted his entrance was heard beyond the Tiber! + + "The late repairs and decorations add both to the comeliness and the + comfort of the Coliseum. The new cushions are a great improvement + upon the hard marble seats we have been so long accustomed to. The + present management deserve well of the public. They have restored + to the Coliseum the gilding, the rich upholstery and the uniform + magnificence which old Coliseum frequenters tell us Rome was so + proud of fifty years ago. + + "The opening scene last night--the broadsword combat between two + young amateurs and a famous Parthian gladiator who was sent here a + prisoner--was very fine. The elder of the two young gentlemen + handled his weapon with a grace that marked the possession of + extraordinary talent. His feint of thrusting, followed instantly by + a happily delivered blow which unhelmeted the Parthian, was received + with hearty applause. He was not thoroughly up in the backhanded + stroke, but it was very gratifying to his numerous friends to know + that, in time, practice would have overcome this defect. However, + he was killed. His sisters, who were present, expressed + considerable regret. His mother left the Coliseum. The other youth + maintained the contest with such spirit as to call forth + enthusiastic bursts of applause. When at last he fell a corpse, his + aged mother ran screaming, with hair disheveled and tears streaming + from her eyes, and swooned away just as her hands were clutching at + the railings of the arena. She was promptly removed by the police. + Under the circumstances the woman's conduct was pardonable, perhaps, + but we suggest that such exhibitions interfere with the decorum + which should be preserved during the performances, and are highly + improper in the presence of the Emperor. The Parthian prisoner + fought bravely and well; and well he might, for he was fighting for + both life and liberty. His wife and children were there to nerve + his arm with their love, and to remind him of the old home he should + see again if he conquered. When his second assailant fell, the + woman clasped her children to her breast and wept for joy. But it + was only a transient happiness. The captive staggered toward her + and she saw that the liberty he had earned was earned too late. He + was wounded unto death. Thus the first act closed in a manner which + was entirely satisfactory. The manager was called before the + curtain and returned his thanks for the honor done him, in a speech + which was replete with wit and humor, and closed by hoping that his + humble efforts to afford cheerful and instructive entertainment + would continue to meet with the approbation of the Roman public + + "The star now appeared, and was received with vociferous applause + and the simultaneous waving of sixty thousand handkerchiefs. Marcus + Marcellus Valerian (stage name--his real name is Smith,) is a + splendid specimen of physical development, and an artist of rare + merit. His management of the battle-ax is wonderful. His gayety + and his playfulness are irresistible, in his comic parts, and yet + they are inferior to his sublime conceptions in the grave realm of + tragedy. When his ax was describing fiery circles about the heads + of the bewildered barbarians, in exact time with his springing body + and his prancing legs, the audience gave way to uncontrollable + bursts of laughter; but when the back of his weapon broke the skull + of one and almost in the same instant its edge clove the other's + body in twain, the howl of enthusiastic applause that shook the + building, was the acknowledgment of a critical assemblage that he + was a master of the noblest department of his profession. If he has + a fault, (and we are sorry to even intimate that he has,) it is that + of glancing at the audience, in the midst of the most exciting + moments of the performance, as if seeking admiration. The pausing + in a fight to bow when bouquets are thrown to him is also in bad + taste. In the great left-handed combat he appeared to be looking at + the audience half the time, instead of carving his adversaries; and + when he had slain all the sophomores and was dallying with the + freshman, he stooped and snatched a bouquet as it fell, and offered + it to his adversary at a time when a blow was descending which + promised favorably to be his death-warrant. Such levity is proper + enough in the provinces, we make no doubt, but it ill suits the + dignity of the metropolis. We trust our young friend will take + these remarks in good part, for we mean them solely for his benefit. + All who know us are aware that although we are at times justly + severe upon tigers and martyrs, we never intentionally offend + gladiators. + + "The Infant Prodigy performed wonders. He overcame his four tiger + whelps with ease, and with no other hurt than the loss of a portion + of his scalp. The General Slaughter was rendered with a + faithfulness to details which reflects the highest credit upon the + late participants in it. + + "Upon the whole, last night's performances shed honor not only upon + the management but upon the city that encourages and sustains such + wholesome and instructive entertainments. We would simply suggest + that the practice of vulgar young boys in the gallery of shying + peanuts and paper pellets at the tigers, and saying "Hi-yi!" and + manifesting approbation or dissatisfaction by such observations as + "Bully for the lion!" "Go it, Gladdy!" "Boots!" "Speech!" "Take + a walk round the block!" and so on, are extremely reprehensible, + when the Emperor is present, and ought to be stopped by the police. + Several times last night, when the supernumeraries entered the arena + to drag out the bodies, the young ruffians in the gallery shouted, + "Supe! supe!" and also, "Oh, what a coat!" and "Why don't you pad + them shanks?" and made use of various other remarks expressive of + derision. These things are very annoying to the audience. + + "A matinee for the little folks is promised for this afternoon, on + which occasion several martyrs will be eaten by the tigers. The + regular performance will continue every night till further notice. + Material change of programme every evening. Benefit of Valerian, + Tuesday, 29th, if he lives." + + +I have been a dramatic critic myself, in my time, and I was often +surprised to notice how much more I knew about Hamlet than Forrest did; +and it gratifies me to observe, now, how much better my brethren of +ancient times knew how a broad sword battle ought to be fought than the +gladiators. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +So far, good. If any man has a right to feel proud of himself, and +satisfied, surely it is I. For I have written about the Coliseum, and +the gladiators, the martyrs, and the lions, and yet have never once used +the phrase "butchered to make a Roman holiday." I am the only free white +man of mature age, who has accomplished this since Byron originated the +expression. + +Butchered to make a Roman holiday sounds well for the first seventeen or +eighteen hundred thousand times one sees it in print, but after that it +begins to grow tiresome. I find it in all the books concerning Rome--and +here latterly it reminds me of Judge Oliver. Oliver was a young lawyer, +fresh from the schools, who had gone out to the deserts of Nevada to +begin life. He found that country, and our ways of life, there, in those +early days, different from life in New England or Paris. But he put on a +woollen shirt and strapped a navy revolver to his person, took to the +bacon and beans of the country, and determined to do in Nevada as Nevada +did. Oliver accepted the situation so completely that although he must +have sorrowed over many of his trials, he never complained--that is, he +never complained but once. He, two others, and myself, started to the +new silver mines in the Humboldt mountains--he to be Probate Judge of +Humboldt county, and we to mine. The distance was two hundred miles. It +was dead of winter. We bought a two-horse wagon and put eighteen hundred +pounds of bacon, flour, beans, blasting-powder, picks and shovels in it; +we bought two sorry-looking Mexican "plugs," with the hair turned the +wrong way and more corners on their bodies than there are on the mosque +of Omar; we hitched up and started. It was a dreadful trip. But Oliver +did not complain. The horses dragged the wagon two miles from town and +then gave out. Then we three pushed the wagon seven miles, and Oliver +moved ahead and pulled the horses after him by the bits. We complained, +but Oliver did not. The ground was frozen, and it froze our backs while +we slept; the wind swept across our faces and froze our noses. Oliver +did not complain. Five days of pushing the wagon by day and freezing by +night brought us to the bad part of the journey--the Forty Mile Desert, +or the Great American Desert, if you please. Still, this +mildest-mannered man that ever was, had not complained. We started across +at eight in the morning, pushing through sand that had no bottom; toiling +all day long by the wrecks of a thousand wagons, the skeletons of ten +thousand oxen; by wagon-tires enough to hoop the Washington Monument to +the top, and ox-chains enough to girdle Long Island; by human graves; +with our throats parched always, with thirst; lips bleeding from the +alkali dust; hungry, perspiring, and very, very weary--so weary that when +we dropped in the sand every fifty yards to rest the horses, we could +hardly keep from going to sleep--no complaints from Oliver: none the next +morning at three o'clock, when we got across, tired to death. + +Awakened two or three nights afterward at midnight, in a narrow canon, by +the snow falling on our faces, and appalled at the imminent danger of +being "snowed in," we harnessed up and pushed on till eight in the +morning, passed the "Divide" and knew we were saved. No complaints. +Fifteen days of hardship and fatigue brought us to the end of the two +hundred miles, and the Judge had not complained. We wondered if any +thing could exasperate him. We built a Humboldt house. It is done in +this way. You dig a square in the steep base of the mountain, and set up +two uprights and top them with two joists. Then you stretch a great +sheet of "cotton domestic" from the point where the joists join the +hill-side down over the joists to the ground; this makes the roof and the +front of the mansion; the sides and back are the dirt walls your digging +has left. A chimney is easily made by turning up one corner of the roof. +Oliver was sitting alone in this dismal den, one night, by a sage-brush +fire, writing poetry; he was very fond of digging poetry out of himself +--or blasting it out when it came hard. He heard an animal's footsteps +close to the roof; a stone or two and some dirt came through and fell by +him. He grew uneasy and said "Hi!--clear out from there, can't you!" +--from time to time. But by and by he fell asleep where he sat, and pretty +soon a mule fell down the chimney! The fire flew in every direction, and +Oliver went over backwards. About ten nights after that, he recovered +confidence enough to go to writing poetry again. Again he dozed off to +sleep, and again a mule fell down the chimney. This time, about half of +that side of the house came in with the mule. Struggling to get up, the +mule kicked the candle out and smashed most of the kitchen furniture, and +raised considerable dust. These violent awakenings must have been +annoying to Oliver, but he never complained. He moved to a mansion on +the opposite side of the canon, because he had noticed the mules did not +go there. One night about eight o'clock he was endeavoring to finish his +poem, when a stone rolled in--then a hoof appeared below the canvas--then +part of a cow--the after part. He leaned back in dread, and shouted +"Hooy! hooy! get out of this!" and the cow struggled manfully--lost +ground steadily--dirt and dust streamed down, and before Oliver could get +well away, the entire cow crashed through on to the table and made a +shapeless wreck of every thing! + +Then, for the first time in his life, I think, Oliver complained. He +said, + +"This thing is growing monotonous!" + +Then he resigned his judgeship and left Humboldt county. "Butchered to +make a Roman holyday" has grown monotonous to me. + +In this connection I wish to say one word about Michael Angelo +Buonarotti. I used to worship the mighty genius of Michael Angelo--that +man who was great in poetry, painting, sculpture, architecture--great in +every thing he undertook. But I do not want Michael Angelo for +breakfast--for luncheon--for dinner--for tea--for supper--for between +meals. I like a change, occasionally. In Genoa, he designed every +thing; in Milan he or his pupils designed every thing; he designed the +Lake of Como; in Padua, Verona, Venice, Bologna, who did we ever hear of, +from guides, but Michael Angelo? In Florence, he painted every thing, +designed every thing, nearly, and what he did not design he used to sit +on a favorite stone and look at, and they showed us the stone. In Pisa +he designed every thing but the old shot-tower, and they would have +attributed that to him if it had not been so awfully out of the +perpendicular. He designed the piers of Leghorn and the custom house +regulations of Civita Vecchia. But, here--here it is frightful. He +designed St. Peter's; he designed the Pope; he designed the Pantheon, the +uniform of the Pope's soldiers, the Tiber, the Vatican, the Coliseum, the +Capitol, the Tarpeian Rock, the Barberini Palace, St. John Lateran, the +Campagna, the Appian Way, the Seven Hills, the Baths of Caracalla, the +Claudian Aqueduct, the Cloaca Maxima--the eternal bore designed the +Eternal City, and unless all men and books do lie, he painted every thing +in it! Dan said the other day to the guide, "Enough, enough, enough! +Say no more! Lump the whole thing! say that the Creator made Italy from +designs by Michael Angelo!" + +I never felt so fervently thankful, so soothed, so tranquil, so filled +with a blessed peace, as I did yesterday when I learned that Michael +Angelo was dead. + +But we have taken it out of this guide. He has marched us through miles +of pictures and sculpture in the vast corridors of the Vatican; and +through miles of pictures and sculpture in twenty other palaces; he has +shown us the great picture in the Sistine Chapel, and frescoes enough to +frescoe the heavens--pretty much all done by Michael Angelo. So with him +we have played that game which has vanquished so many guides for us +--imbecility and idiotic questions. These creatures never suspect--they +have no idea of a sarcasm. + +He shows us a figure and says: "Statoo brunzo." (Bronze statue.) + +We look at it indifferently and the doctor asks: "By Michael Angelo?" + +"No--not know who." + +Then he shows us the ancient Roman Forum. The doctor asks: "Michael +Angelo?" + +A stare from the guide. "No--thousan' year before he is born." + +Then an Egyptian obelisk. Again: "Michael Angelo?" + +"Oh, mon dieu, genteelmen! Zis is two thousan' year before he is born!" + +He grows so tired of that unceasing question sometimes, that he dreads to +show us any thing at all. The wretch has tried all the ways he can think +of to make us comprehend that Michael Angelo is only responsible for the +creation of a part of the world, but somehow he has not succeeded yet. +Relief for overtasked eyes and brain from study and sightseeing is +necessary, or we shall become idiotic sure enough. Therefore this guide +must continue to suffer. If he does not enjoy it, so much the worse for +him. We do. + +In this place I may as well jot down a chapter concerning those necessary +nuisances, European guides. Many a man has wished in his heart he could +do without his guide; but knowing he could not, has wished he could get +some amusement out of him as a remuneration for the affliction of his +society. We accomplished this latter matter, and if our experience can +be made useful to others they are welcome to it. + +Guides know about enough English to tangle every thing up so that a man +can make neither head or tail of it. They know their story by heart--the +history of every statue, painting, cathedral or other wonder they show +you. They know it and tell it as a parrot would--and if you interrupt, +and throw them off the track, they have to go back and begin over again. +All their lives long, they are employed in showing strange things to +foreigners and listening to their bursts of admiration. It is human +nature to take delight in exciting admiration. It is what prompts +children to say "smart" things, and do absurd ones, and in other ways +"show off" when company is present. It is what makes gossips turn out in +rain and storm to go and be the first to tell a startling bit of news. +Think, then, what a passion it becomes with a guide, whose privilege it +is, every day, to show to strangers wonders that throw them into perfect +ecstasies of admiration! He gets so that he could not by any possibility +live in a soberer atmosphere. After we discovered this, we never went +into ecstasies any more--we never admired any thing--we never showed any +but impassible faces and stupid indifference in the presence of the +sublimest wonders a guide had to display. We had found their weak point. +We have made good use of it ever since. We have made some of those +people savage, at times, but we have never lost our own serenity. + +The doctor asks the questions, generally, because he can keep his +countenance, and look more like an inspired idiot, and throw more +imbecility into the tone of his voice than any man that lives. It comes +natural to him. + +The guides in Genoa are delighted to secure an American party, because +Americans so much wonder, and deal so much in sentiment and emotion +before any relic of Columbus. Our guide there fidgeted about as if he +had swallowed a spring mattress. He was full of animation--full of +impatience. He said: + +"Come wis me, genteelmen!--come! I show you ze letter writing by +Christopher Colombo!--write it himself!--write it wis his own hand! +--come!" + +He took us to the municipal palace. After much impressive fumbling of +keys and opening of locks, the stained and aged document was spread +before us. The guide's eyes sparkled. He danced about us and tapped the +parchment with his finger: + +"What I tell you, genteelmen! Is it not so? See! handwriting +Christopher Colombo!--write it himself!" + +We looked indifferent--unconcerned. The doctor examined the document +very deliberately, during a painful pause.--Then he said, without any +show of interest: + +"Ah--Ferguson--what--what did you say was the name of the party who wrote +this?" + +"Christopher Colombo! ze great Christopher Colombo!" + +Another deliberate examination. + +"Ah--did he write it himself; or--or how?" + +"He write it himself!--Christopher Colombo! He's own hand-writing, write +by himself!" + +Then the doctor laid the document down and said: + +"Why, I have seen boys in America only fourteen years old that could +write better than that." + +"But zis is ze great Christo--" + +"I don't care who it is! It's the worst writing I ever saw. Now you +musn't think you can impose on us because we are strangers. We are not +fools, by a good deal. If you have got any specimens of penmanship of +real merit, trot them out!--and if you haven't, drive on!" + +We drove on. The guide was considerably shaken up, but he made one more +venture. He had something which he thought would overcome us. He said: + +"Ah, genteelmen, you come wis me! I show you beautiful, O, magnificent +bust Christopher Colombo!--splendid, grand, magnificent!" + +He brought us before the beautiful bust--for it was beautiful--and sprang +back and struck an attitude: + +"Ah, look, genteelmen!--beautiful, grand,--bust Christopher Colombo! +--beautiful bust, beautiful pedestal!" + +The doctor put up his eye-glass--procured for such occasions: + +"Ah--what did you say this gentleman's name was?" + +"Christopher Colombo!--ze great Christopher Colombo!" + +"Christopher Colombo--the great Christopher Colombo. Well, what did he +do?" + +"Discover America!--discover America, Oh, ze devil!" + +"Discover America. No--that statement will hardly wash. We are just +from America ourselves. We heard nothing about it. Christopher Colombo +--pleasant name--is--is he dead?" + +"Oh, corpo di Baccho!--three hundred year!" + +"What did he die of?" + +"I do not know!--I can not tell." + +"Small-pox, think?" + +"I do not know, genteelmen!--I do not know what he die of!" + +"Measles, likely?" + +"May be--may be--I do not know--I think he die of somethings." + +"Parents living?" + +"Im-poseeeble!" + +"Ah--which is the bust and which is the pedestal?" + +"Santa Maria!--zis ze bust!--zis ze pedestal!" + +"Ah, I see, I see--happy combination--very happy combination, indeed. +Is--is this the first time this gentleman was ever on a bust?" + +That joke was lost on the foreigner--guides can not master the subtleties +of the American joke. + +We have made it interesting for this Roman guide. Yesterday we spent +three or four hours in the Vatican, again, that wonderful world of +curiosities. We came very near expressing interest, sometimes--even +admiration--it was very hard to keep from it. We succeeded though. +Nobody else ever did, in the Vatican museums. The guide was bewildered +--non-plussed. He walked his legs off, nearly, hunting up extraordinary +things, and exhausted all his ingenuity on us, but it was a failure; we +never showed any interest in any thing. He had reserved what he +considered to be his greatest wonder till the last--a royal Egyptian +mummy, the best preserved in the world, perhaps. He took us there. He +felt so sure, this time, that some of his old enthusiasm came back to +him: + +"See, genteelmen!--Mummy! Mummy!" + +The eye-glass came up as calmly, as deliberately as ever. + +"Ah,--Ferguson--what did I understand you to say the gentleman's name +was?" + +"Name?--he got no name!--Mummy!--'Gyptian mummy!" + +"Yes, yes. Born here?" + +"No! 'Gyptian mummy!" + +"Ah, just so. Frenchman, I presume?" + +"No!--not Frenchman, not Roman!--born in Egypta!" + +"Born in Egypta. Never heard of Egypta before. Foreign locality, +likely. Mummy--mummy. How calm he is--how self-possessed. Is, ah--is +he dead?" + +"Oh, sacre bleu, been dead three thousan' year!" + +The doctor turned on him savagely: + +"Here, now, what do you mean by such conduct as this! Playing us for +Chinamen because we are strangers and trying to learn! Trying to impose +your vile second-hand carcasses on us!--thunder and lightning, I've a +notion to--to--if you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!--or by +George we'll brain you!" + +We make it exceedingly interesting for this Frenchman. However, he has +paid us back, partly, without knowing it. He came to the hotel this +morning to ask if we were up, and he endeavored as well as he could to +describe us, so that the landlord would know which persons he meant. He +finished with the casual remark that we were lunatics. The observation +was so innocent and so honest that it amounted to a very good thing for a +guide to say. + +There is one remark (already mentioned,) which never yet has failed to +disgust these guides. We use it always, when we can think of nothing +else to say. After they have exhausted their enthusiasm pointing out +to us and praising the beauties of some ancient bronze image or +broken-legged statue, we look at it stupidly and in silence for five, +ten, fifteen minutes--as long as we can hold out, in fact--and then ask: + +"Is--is he dead?" + +That conquers the serenest of them. It is not what they are looking for +--especially a new guide. Our Roman Ferguson is the most patient, +unsuspecting, long-suffering subject we have had yet. We shall be sorry +to part with him. We have enjoyed his society very much. We trust he +has enjoyed ours, but we are harassed with doubts. + +We have been in the catacombs. It was like going down into a very deep +cellar, only it was a cellar which had no end to it. The narrow passages +are roughly hewn in the rock, and on each hand as you pass along, the +hollowed shelves are carved out, from three to fourteen deep; each held a +corpse once. There are names, and Christian symbols, and prayers, or +sentences expressive of Christian hopes, carved upon nearly every +sarcophagus. The dates belong away back in the dawn of the Christian +era, of course. Here, in these holes in the ground, the first Christians +sometimes burrowed to escape persecution. They crawled out at night to +get food, but remained under cover in the day time. The priest told us +that St. Sebastian lived under ground for some time while he was being +hunted; he went out one day, and the soldiery discovered and shot him to +death with arrows. Five or six of the early Popes--those who reigned +about sixteen hundred years ago--held their papal courts and advised with +their clergy in the bowels of the earth. During seventeen years--from +A.D. 235 to A.D. 252--the Popes did not appear above ground. Four were +raised to the great office during that period. Four years apiece, or +thereabouts. It is very suggestive of the unhealthiness of underground +graveyards as places of residence. One Pope afterward spent his entire +pontificate in the catacombs--eight years. Another was discovered in +them and murdered in the episcopal chair. There was no satisfaction in +being a Pope in those days. There were too many annoyances. There are +one hundred and sixty catacombs under Rome, each with its maze of narrow +passages crossing and recrossing each other and each passage walled to +the top with scooped graves its entire length. A careful estimate makes +the length of the passages of all the catacombs combined foot up nine +hundred miles, and their graves number seven millions. We did not go +through all the passages of all the catacombs. We were very anxious to +do it, and made the necessary arrangements, but our too limited time +obliged us to give up the idea. So we only groped through the dismal +labyrinth of St. Callixtus, under the Church of St. Sebastian. In the +various catacombs are small chapels rudely hewn in the stones, and here +the early Christians often held their religious services by dim, ghostly +lights. Think of mass and a sermon away down in those tangled caverns +under ground! + +In the catacombs were buried St. Cecilia, St. Agnes, and several other of +the most celebrated of the saints. In the catacomb of St. Callixtus, St. +Bridget used to remain long hours in holy contemplation, and St. Charles +Borromeo was wont to spend whole nights in prayer there. It was also the +scene of a very marvelous thing. + + "Here the heart of St. Philip Neri was so inflamed with divine love + as to burst his ribs." + +I find that grave statement in a book published in New York in 1808, and +written by "Rev. William H. Neligan, LL.D., M. A., Trinity College, +Dublin; Member of the Archaeological Society of Great Britain." +Therefore, I believe it. Otherwise, I could not. Under other +circumstances I should have felt a curiosity to know what Philip had for +dinner. + +This author puts my credulity on its mettle every now and then. He tells +of one St. Joseph Calasanctius whose house in Rome he visited; he visited +only the house--the priest has been dead two hundred years. He says the +Virgin Mary appeared to this saint. Then he continues: + + "His tongue and his heart, which were found after nearly a century + to be whole, when the body was disinterred before his canonization, + are still preserved in a glass case, and after two centuries the + heart is still whole. When the French troops came to Rome, and when + Pius VII. was carried away prisoner, blood dropped from it." + +To read that in a book written by a monk far back in the Middle Ages, +would surprise no one; it would sound natural and proper; but when it is +seriously stated in the middle of the nineteenth century, by a man of +finished education, an LL.D., M. A., and an Archaeological magnate, it +sounds strangely enough. Still, I would gladly change my unbelief for +Neligan's faith, and let him make the conditions as hard as he pleased. + +The old gentleman's undoubting, unquestioning simplicity has a rare +freshness about it in these matter-of-fact railroading and telegraphing +days. Hear him, concerning the church of Ara Coeli: + + "In the roof of the church, directly above the high altar, is + engraved, 'Regina Coeli laetare Alleluia." In the sixth century + Rome was visited by a fearful pestilence. Gregory the Great urged + the people to do penance, and a general procession was formed. It + was to proceed from Ara Coeli to St. Peter's. As it passed before + the mole of Adrian, now the Castle of St. Angelo, the sound of + heavenly voices was heard singing (it was Easter morn,) Regina + Coeli, laetare! alleluia! quia quem meruisti portare, alleluia! + resurrexit sicut dixit; alleluia!" The Pontiff, carrying in his + hands the portrait of the Virgin, (which is over the high altar and + is said to have been painted by St. Luke,) answered, with the + astonished people, 'Ora pro nobis Deum, alleluia!' At the same time + an angel was seen to put up a sword in a scabbard, and the + pestilence ceased on the same day. There are four circumstances + which 'CONFIRM'--[The italics are mine--M. T.]--this miracle: the + annual procession which takes place in the western church on the + feast of St Mark; the statue of St. Michael, placed on the mole of + Adrian, which has since that time been called the Castle of St. + Angelo; the antiphon Regina Coeli which the Catholic church sings + during paschal time; and the inscription in the church." + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +From the sanguinary sports of the Holy Inquisition; the slaughter of the +Coliseum; and the dismal tombs of the Catacombs, I naturally pass to the +picturesque horrors of the Capuchin Convent. We stopped a moment in a +small chapel in the church to admire a picture of St. Michael vanquishing +Satan--a picture which is so beautiful that I can not but think it +belongs to the reviled "Renaissance," notwithstanding I believe they told +us one of the ancient old masters painted it--and then we descended into +the vast vault underneath. + +Here was a spectacle for sensitive nerves! Evidently the old masters had +been at work in this place. There were six divisions in the apartment, +and each division was ornamented with a style of decoration peculiar to +itself--and these decorations were in every instance formed of human +bones! There were shapely arches, built wholly of thigh bones; there +were startling pyramids, built wholly of grinning skulls; there were +quaint architectural structures of various kinds, built of shin bones and +the bones of the arm; on the wall were elaborate frescoes, whose curving +vines were made of knotted human vertebrae; whose delicate tendrils were +made of sinews and tendons; whose flowers were formed of knee-caps and +toe-nails. Every lasting portion of the human frame was represented in +these intricate designs (they were by Michael Angelo, I think,) and there +was a careful finish about the work, and an attention to details that +betrayed the artist's love of his labors as well as his schooled ability. +I asked the good-natured monk who accompanied us, who did this? And he +said, "We did it"--meaning himself and his brethren up stairs. I could +see that the old friar took a high pride in his curious show. We made +him talkative by exhibiting an interest we never betrayed to guides. + +"Who were these people?" + +"We--up stairs--Monks of the Capuchin order--my brethren." + +"How many departed monks were required to upholster these six parlors?" + +"These are the bones of four thousand." + +"It took a long time to get enough?" + +"Many, many centuries." + +"Their different parts are well separated--skulls in one room, legs in +another, ribs in another--there would be stirring times here for a while +if the last trump should blow. Some of the brethren might get hold of +the wrong leg, in the confusion, and the wrong skull, and find themselves +limping, and looking through eyes that were wider apart or closer +together than they were used to. You can not tell any of these parties +apart, I suppose?" + +"Oh, yes, I know many of them." + +He put his finger on a skull. "This was Brother Anselmo--dead three +hundred years--a good man." + +He touched another. "This was Brother Alexander--dead two hundred and +eighty years. This was Brother Carlo--dead about as long." + +Then he took a skull and held it in his hand, and looked reflectively +upon it, after the manner of the grave-digger when he discourses of +Yorick. + +"This," he said, "was Brother Thomas. He was a young prince, the scion +of a proud house that traced its lineage back to the grand old days of +Rome well nigh two thousand years ago. He loved beneath his estate. His +family persecuted him; persecuted the girl, as well. They drove her from +Rome; he followed; he sought her far and wide; he found no trace of her. +He came back and offered his broken heart at our altar and his weary life +to the service of God. But look you. Shortly his father died, and +likewise his mother. The girl returned, rejoicing. She sought every +where for him whose eyes had used to look tenderly into hers out of this +poor skull, but she could not find him. At last, in this coarse garb we +wear, she recognized him in the street. He knew her. It was too late. +He fell where he stood. They took him up and brought him here. He never +spoke afterward. Within the week he died. You can see the color of his +hair--faded, somewhat--by this thin shred that clings still to the +temple. This, [taking up a thigh bone,] was his. The veins of this +leaf in the decorations over your head, were his finger-joints, a hundred +and fifty years ago." + +This business-like way of illustrating a touching story of the heart by +laying the several fragments of the lover before us and naming them, was +as grotesque a performance, and as ghastly, as any I ever witnessed. I +hardly knew whether to smile or shudder. There are nerves and muscles in +our frames whose functions and whose methods of working it seems a sort +of sacrilege to describe by cold physiological names and surgical +technicalities, and the monk's talk suggested to me something of this +kind. Fancy a surgeon, with his nippers lifting tendons, muscles and +such things into view, out of the complex machinery of a corpse, and +observing, "Now this little nerve quivers--the vibration is imparted to +this muscle--from here it is passed to this fibrous substance; here its +ingredients are separated by the chemical action of the blood--one part +goes to the heart and thrills it with what is popularly termed emotion, +another part follows this nerve to the brain and communicates +intelligence of a startling character--the third part glides along this +passage and touches the spring connected with the fluid receptacles that +lie in the rear of the eye. Thus, by this simple and beautiful process, +the party is informed that his mother is dead, and he weeps." Horrible! + +I asked the monk if all the brethren up stairs expected to be put in this +place when they died. He answered quietly: + +"We must all lie here at last." + +See what one can accustom himself to.--The reflection that he must some +day be taken apart like an engine or a clock, or like a house whose owner +is gone, and worked up into arches and pyramids and hideous frescoes, did +not distress this monk in the least. I thought he even looked as if he +were thinking, with complacent vanity, that his own skull would look well +on top of the heap and his own ribs add a charm to the frescoes which +possibly they lacked at present. + +Here and there, in ornamental alcoves, stretched upon beds of bones, lay +dead and dried-up monks, with lank frames dressed in the black robes one +sees ordinarily upon priests. We examined one closely. The skinny hands +were clasped upon the breast; two lustreless tufts of hair stuck to the +skull; the skin was brown and sunken; it stretched tightly over the cheek +bones and made them stand out sharply; the crisp dead eyes were deep in +the sockets; the nostrils were painfully prominent, the end of the nose +being gone; the lips had shriveled away from the yellow teeth: and +brought down to us through the circling years, and petrified there, was a +weird laugh a full century old! + +It was the jolliest laugh, but yet the most dreadful, that one can +imagine. Surely, I thought, it must have been a most extraordinary joke +this veteran produced with his latest breath, that he has not got done +laughing at it yet. At this moment I saw that the old instinct was +strong upon the boys, and I said we had better hurry to St. Peter's. +They were trying to keep from asking, "Is--is he dead?" + +It makes me dizzy, to think of the Vatican--of its wilderness of statues, +paintings, and curiosities of every description and every age. The "old +masters" (especially in sculpture,) fairly swarm, there. I can not write +about the Vatican. I think I shall never remember any thing I saw there +distinctly but the mummies, and the Transfiguration, by Raphael, and some +other things it is not necessary to mention now. I shall remember the +Transfiguration partly because it was placed in a room almost by itself; +partly because it is acknowledged by all to be the first oil painting in +the world; and partly because it was wonderfully beautiful. The colors +are fresh and rich, the "expression," I am told, is fine, the "feeling" +is lively, the "tone" is good, the "depth" is profound, and the width is +about four and a half feet, I should judge. It is a picture that really +holds one's attention; its beauty is fascinating. It is fine enough to +be a Renaissance. A remark I made a while ago suggests a thought--and a +hope. Is it not possible that the reason I find such charms in this +picture is because it is out of the crazy chaos of the galleries? If +some of the others were set apart, might not they be beautiful? If this +were set in the midst of the tempest of pictures one finds in the vast +galleries of the Roman palaces, would I think it so handsome? If, up to +this time, I had seen only one "old master" in each palace, instead of +acres and acres of walls and ceilings fairly papered with them, might I +not have a more civilized opinion of the old masters than I have now? I +think so. When I was a school-boy and was to have a new knife, I could +not make up my mind as to which was the prettiest in the show-case, and I +did not think any of them were particularly pretty; and so I chose with a +heavy heart. But when I looked at my purchase, at home, where no +glittering blades came into competition with it, I was astonished to see +how handsome it was. To this day my new hats look better out of the shop +than they did in it with other new hats. It begins to dawn upon me, now, +that possibly, what I have been taking for uniform ugliness in the +galleries may be uniform beauty after all. I honestly hope it is, to +others, but certainly it is not to me. Perhaps the reason I used to +enjoy going to the Academy of Fine Arts in New York was because there +were but a few hundred paintings in it, and it did not surfeit me to go +through the list. I suppose the Academy was bacon and beans in the +Forty-Mile Desert, and a European gallery is a state dinner of thirteen +courses. One leaves no sign after him of the one dish, but the thirteen +frighten away his appetite and give him no satisfaction. + +There is one thing I am certain of, though. With all the Michael +Angelos, the Raphaels, the Guidos and the other old masters, the sublime +history of Rome remains unpainted! They painted Virgins enough, and +popes enough and saintly scarecrows enough, to people Paradise, almost, +and these things are all they did paint. "Nero fiddling o'er burning +Rome," the assassination of Caesar, the stirring spectacle of a hundred +thousand people bending forward with rapt interest, in the coliseum, to +see two skillful gladiators hacking away each others' lives, a tiger +springing upon a kneeling martyr--these and a thousand other matters +which we read of with a living interest, must be sought for only in +books--not among the rubbish left by the old masters--who are no more, I +have the satisfaction of informing the public. + +They did paint, and they did carve in marble, one historical scene, and +one only, (of any great historical consequence.) And what was it and why +did they choose it, particularly? It was the Rape of the Sabines, and +they chose it for the legs and busts. + +I like to look at statues, however, and I like to look at pictures, also +--even of monks looking up in sacred ecstacy, and monks looking down in +meditation, and monks skirmishing for something to eat--and therefore I +drop ill nature to thank the papal government for so jealously guarding +and so industriously gathering up these things; and for permitting me, a +stranger and not an entirely friendly one, to roam at will and unmolested +among them, charging me nothing, and only requiring that I shall behave +myself simply as well as I ought to behave in any other man's house. I +thank the Holy Father right heartily, and I wish him long life and plenty +of happiness. + +The Popes have long been the patrons and preservers of art, just as our +new, practical Republic is the encourager and upholder of mechanics. In +their Vatican is stored up all that is curious and beautiful in art; in +our Patent Office is hoarded all that is curious or useful in mechanics. +When a man invents a new style of horse-collar or discovers a new and +superior method of telegraphing, our government issues a patent to him +that is worth a fortune; when a man digs up an ancient statue in the +Campagna, the Pope gives him a fortune in gold coin. We can make +something of a guess at a man's character by the style of nose he carries +on his face. The Vatican and the Patent Office are governmental noses, +and they bear a deal of character about them. + +The guide showed us a colossal statue of Jupiter, in the Vatican, which +he said looked so damaged and rusty--so like the God of the Vagabonds +--because it had but recently been dug up in the Campagna. He asked how +much we supposed this Jupiter was worth? I replied, with intelligent +promptness, that he was probably worth about four dollars--may be four +and a half. "A hundred thousand dollars!" Ferguson said. Ferguson +said, further, that the Pope permits no ancient work of this kind to +leave his dominions. He appoints a commission to examine discoveries +like this and report upon the value; then the Pope pays the discoverer +one-half of that assessed value and takes the statue. He said this +Jupiter was dug from a field which had just been bought for thirty-six +thousand dollars, so the first crop was a good one for the new farmer. +I do not know whether Ferguson always tells the truth or not, but I +suppose he does. I know that an exorbitant export duty is exacted upon +all pictures painted by the old masters, in order to discourage the sale +of those in the private collections. I am satisfied, also, that genuine +old masters hardly exist at all, in America, because the cheapest and +most insignificant of them are valued at the price of a fine farm. I +proposed to buy a small trifle of a Raphael, myself, but the price of it +was eighty thousand dollars, the export duty would have made it +considerably over a hundred, and so I studied on it awhile and concluded +not to take it. + +I wish here to mention an inscription I have seen, before I forget it: + +"Glory to God in the highest, peace on earth TO MEN OF GOOD WILL!" It is +not good scripture, but it is sound Catholic and human nature. + +This is in letters of gold around the apsis of a mosaic group at the side +of the 'scala santa', church of St. John Lateran, the Mother and Mistress +of all the Catholic churches of the world. The group represents the +Saviour, St. Peter, Pope Leo, St. Silvester, Constantine and Charlemagne. +Peter is giving the pallium to the Pope, and a standard to Charlemagne. +The Saviour is giving the keys to St. Silvester, and a standard to +Constantine. No prayer is offered to the Saviour, who seems to be of +little importance any where in Rome; but an inscription below says, +"Blessed Peter, give life to Pope Leo and victory to king Charles." It +does not say, "Intercede for us, through the Saviour, with the Father, +for this boon," but "Blessed Peter, give it us." + +In all seriousness--without meaning to be frivolous--without meaning to +be irreverent, and more than all, without meaning to be blasphemous,--I +state as my simple deduction from the things I have seen and the things I +have heard, that the Holy Personages rank thus in Rome: + +First--"The Mother of God"--otherwise the Virgin Mary. + +Second--The Deity. + +Third--Peter. + +Fourth--Some twelve or fifteen canonized Popes and martyrs. + +Fifth--Jesus Christ the Saviour--(but always as an infant in arms.) + +I may be wrong in this--my judgment errs often, just as is the case with +other men's--but it is my judgment, be it good or bad. + +Just here I will mention something that seems curious to me. There are +no "Christ's Churches" in Rome, and no "Churches of the Holy Ghost," that +I can discover. There are some four hundred churches, but about a fourth +of them seem to be named for the Madonna and St. Peter. There are so +many named for Mary that they have to be distinguished by all sorts of +affixes, if I understand the matter rightly. Then we have churches of +St. Louis; St. Augustine; St. Agnes; St. Calixtus; St. Lorenzo in Lucina; +St. Lorenzo in Damaso; St. Cecilia; St. Athanasius; St. Philip Neri; St. +Catherine, St. Dominico, and a multitude of lesser saints whose names are +not familiar in the world--and away down, clear out of the list of the +churches, comes a couple of hospitals: one of them is named for the +Saviour and the other for the Holy Ghost! + +Day after day and night after night we have wandered among the crumbling +wonders of Rome; day after day and night after night we have fed upon the +dust and decay of five-and-twenty centuries--have brooded over them by +day and dreampt of them by night till sometimes we seemed moldering away +ourselves, and growing defaced and cornerless, and liable at any moment +to fall a prey to some antiquary and be patched in the legs, and +"restored" with an unseemly nose, and labeled wrong and dated wrong, and +set up in the Vatican for poets to drivel about and vandals to scribble +their names on forever and forevermore. + +But the surest way to stop writing about Rome is to stop. I wished to +write a real "guide-book" chapter on this fascinating city, but I could +not do it, because I have felt all the time like a boy in a candy-shop +--there was every thing to choose from, and yet no choice. I have drifted +along hopelessly for a hundred pages of manuscript without knowing where +to commence. I will not commence at all. Our passports have been +examined. We will go to Naples. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +The ship is lying here in the harbor of Naples--quarantined. She has +been here several days and will remain several more. We that came by +rail from Rome have escaped this misfortune. Of course no one is allowed +to go on board the ship, or come ashore from her. She is a prison, now. +The passengers probably spend the long, blazing days looking out from +under the awnings at Vesuvius and the beautiful city--and in swearing. +Think of ten days of this sort of pastime!--We go out every day in a boat +and request them to come ashore. It soothes them. We lie ten steps from +the ship and tell them how splendid the city is; and how much better the +hotel fare is here than any where else in Europe; and how cool it is; and +what frozen continents of ice cream there are; and what a time we are +having cavorting about the country and sailing to the islands in the Bay. +This tranquilizes them. + + ASCENT OF VESUVIUS. + +I shall remember our trip to Vesuvius for many a day--partly because of +its sight-seeing experiences, but chiefly on account of the fatigue of +the journey. Two or three of us had been resting ourselves among the +tranquil and beautiful scenery of the island of Ischia, eighteen miles +out in the harbor, for two days; we called it "resting," but I do not +remember now what the resting consisted of, for when we got back to +Naples we had not slept for forty-eight hours. We were just about to go +to bed early in the evening, and catch up on some of the sleep we had +lost, when we heard of this Vesuvius expedition. There was to be eight +of us in the party, and we were to leave Naples at midnight. We laid in +some provisions for the trip, engaged carriages to take us to +Annunciation, and then moved about the city, to keep awake, till twelve. +We got away punctually, and in the course of an hour and a half arrived +at the town of Annunciation. Annunciation is the very last place under +the sun. In other towns in Italy the people lie around quietly and wait +for you to ask them a question or do some overt act that can be charged +for--but in Annunciation they have lost even that fragment of delicacy; +they seize a lady's shawl from a chair and hand it to her and charge a +penny; they open a carriage door, and charge for it--shut it when you get +out, and charge for it; they help you to take off a duster--two cents; +brush your clothes and make them worse than they were before--two cents; +smile upon you--two cents; bow, with a lick-spittle smirk, hat in hand +--two cents; they volunteer all information, such as that the mules will +arrive presently--two cents--warm day, sir--two cents--take you four +hours to make the ascent--two cents. And so they go. They crowd you +--infest you--swarm about you, and sweat and smell offensively, and look +sneaking and mean, and obsequious. There is no office too degrading for +them to perform, for money. I have had no opportunity to find out any +thing about the upper classes by my own observation, but from what I hear +said about them I judge that what they lack in one or two of the bad +traits the canaille have, they make up in one or two others that are +worse. How the people beg!--many of them very well dressed, too. + +I said I knew nothing against the upper classes by personal observation. +I must recall it! I had forgotten. What I saw their bravest and their +fairest do last night, the lowest multitude that could be scraped up out +of the purlieus of Christendom would blush to do, I think. They +assembled by hundreds, and even thousands, in the great Theatre of San +Carlo, to do--what? Why, simply, to make fun of an old woman--to deride, +to hiss, to jeer at an actress they once worshipped, but whose beauty is +faded now and whose voice has lost its former richness. Every body spoke +of the rare sport there was to be. They said the theatre would be +crammed, because Frezzolini was going to sing. It was said she could not +sing well, now, but then the people liked to see her, anyhow. And so we +went. And every time the woman sang they hissed and laughed--the whole +magnificent house--and as soon as she left the stage they called her on +again with applause. Once or twice she was encored five and six times in +succession, and received with hisses when she appeared, and discharged +with hisses and laughter when she had finished--then instantly encored +and insulted again! And how the high-born knaves enjoyed it! +White-kidded gentlemen and ladies laughed till the tears came, and +clapped their hands in very ecstacy when that unhappy old woman would +come meekly out for the sixth time, with uncomplaining patience, to meet +a storm of hisses! It was the cruelest exhibition--the most wanton, the +most unfeeling. The singer would have conquered an audience of American +rowdies by her brave, unflinching tranquillity (for she answered encore +after encore, and smiled and bowed pleasantly, and sang the best she +possibly could, and went bowing off, through all the jeers and hisses, +without ever losing countenance or temper:) and surely in any other land +than Italy her sex and her helplessness must have been an ample +protection to her--she could have needed no other. Think what a +multitude of small souls were crowded into that theatre last night. If +the manager could have filled his theatre with Neapolitan souls alone, +without the bodies, he could not have cleared less than ninety millions +of dollars. What traits of character must a man have to enable him to +help three thousand miscreants to hiss, and jeer, and laugh at one +friendless old woman, and shamefully humiliate her? He must have all +the vile, mean traits there are. My observation persuades me (I do not +like to venture beyond my own personal observation,) that the upper +classes of Naples possess those traits of character. Otherwise they may +be very good people; I can not say. + + + ASCENT OF VESUVIUS--CONTINUED. + +In this city of Naples, they believe in and support one of the +wretchedest of all the religious impostures one can find in Italy--the +miraculous liquefaction of the blood of St. Januarius. Twice a year the +priests assemble all the people at the Cathedral, and get out this vial +of clotted blood and let them see it slowly dissolve and become liquid +--and every day for eight days, this dismal farce is repeated, while the +priests go among the crowd and collect money for the exhibition. The +first day, the blood liquefies in forty-seven minutes--the church is +crammed, then, and time must be allowed the collectors to get around: +after that it liquefies a little quicker and a little quicker, every day, +as the houses grow smaller, till on the eighth day, with only a few +dozens present to see the miracle, it liquefies in four minutes. + +And here, also, they used to have a grand procession, of priests, +citizens, soldiers, sailors, and the high dignitaries of the City +Government, once a year, to shave the head of a made-up Madonna--a +stuffed and painted image, like a milliner's dummy--whose hair +miraculously grew and restored itself every twelve months. They still +kept up this shaving procession as late as four or five years ago. It +was a source of great profit to the church that possessed the remarkable +effigy, and the ceremony of the public barbering of her was always +carried out with the greatest possible eclat and display--the more the +better, because the more excitement there was about it the larger the +crowds it drew and the heavier the revenues it produced--but at last a +day came when the Pope and his servants were unpopular in Naples, and the +City Government stopped the Madonna's annual show. + +There we have two specimens of these Neapolitans--two of the silliest +possible frauds, which half the population religiously and faithfully +believed, and the other half either believed also or else said nothing +about, and thus lent themselves to the support of the imposture. I am +very well satisfied to think the whole population believed in those poor, +cheap miracles--a people who want two cents every time they bow to you, +and who abuse a woman, are capable of it, I think. + + + ASCENT OF VESUVIUS--CONTINUED. + +These Neapolitans always ask four times as much money as they intend to +take, but if you give them what they first demand, they feel ashamed of +themselves for aiming so low, and immediately ask more. When money is to +be paid and received, there is always some vehement jawing and +gesticulating about it. One can not buy and pay for two cents' worth of +clams without trouble and a quarrel. One "course," in a two-horse +carriage, costs a franc--that is law--but the hackman always demands +more, on some pretence or other, and if he gets it he makes a new demand. +It is said that a stranger took a one-horse carriage for a course +--tariff, half a franc. He gave the man five francs, by way of experiment. +He demanded more, and received another franc. Again he demanded more, +and got a franc--demanded more, and it was refused. He grew vehement +--was again refused, and became noisy. The stranger said, "Well, give me +the seven francs again, and I will see what I can do"--and when he got +them, he handed the hackman half a franc, and he immediately asked for +two cents to buy a drink with. It may be thought that I am prejudiced. + +Perhaps I am. I would be ashamed of myself if I were not. + + + ASCENT OF VESUVIUS--CONTINUED. + +Well, as I was saying, we got our mules and horses, after an hour and a +half of bargaining with the population of Annunciation, and started +sleepily up the mountain, with a vagrant at each mule's tail who +pretended to be driving the brute along, but was really holding on and +getting himself dragged up instead. I made slow headway at first, but I +began to get dissatisfied at the idea of paying my minion five francs to +hold my mule back by the tail and keep him from going up the hill, and so +I discharged him. I got along faster then. + +We had one magnificent picture of Naples from a high point on the +mountain side. We saw nothing but the gas lamps, of course--two-thirds +of a circle, skirting the great Bay--a necklace of diamonds glinting up +through the darkness from the remote distance--less brilliant than the +stars overhead, but more softly, richly beautiful--and over all the great +city the lights crossed and recrossed each other in many and many a +sparkling line and curve. And back of the town, far around and abroad +over the miles of level campagna, were scattered rows, and circles, and +clusters of lights, all glowing like so many gems, and marking where a +score of villages were sleeping. About this time, the fellow who was +hanging on to the tail of the horse in front of me and practicing all +sorts of unnecessary cruelty upon the animal, got kicked some fourteen +rods, and this incident, together with the fairy spectacle of the lights +far in the distance, made me serenely happy, and I was glad I started to +Vesuvius. + + + ASCENT OF MOUNT VESUVIUS--CONTINUED. + +This subject will be excellent matter for a chapter, and tomorrow or next +day I will write it. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + + ASCENT OF VESUVIUS--CONTINUED. + +"See Naples and die." Well, I do not know that one would necessarily die +after merely seeing it, but to attempt to live there might turn out a +little differently. To see Naples as we saw it in the early dawn from +far up on the side of Vesuvius, is to see a picture of wonderful beauty. +At that distance its dingy buildings looked white--and so, rank on rank +of balconies, windows and roofs, they piled themselves up from the blue +ocean till the colossal castle of St. Elmo topped the grand white pyramid +and gave the picture symmetry, emphasis and completeness. And when its +lilies turned to roses--when it blushed under the sun's first kiss--it +was beautiful beyond all description. One might well say, then, "See +Naples and die." The frame of the picture was charming, itself. In +front, the smooth sea--a vast mosaic of many colors; the lofty islands +swimming in a dreamy haze in the distance; at our end of the city the +stately double peak of Vesuvius, and its strong black ribs and seams of +lava stretching down to the limitless level campagna--a green carpet that +enchants the eye and leads it on and on, past clusters of trees, and +isolated houses, and snowy villages, until it shreds out in a fringe of +mist and general vagueness far away. It is from the Hermitage, there on +the side of Vesuvius, that one should "see Naples and die." + +But do not go within the walls and look at it in detail. That takes away +some of the romance of the thing. The people are filthy in their habits, +and this makes filthy streets and breeds disagreeable sights and smells. +There never was a community so prejudiced against the cholera as these +Neapolitans are. But they have good reason to be. The cholera generally +vanquishes a Neapolitan when it seizes him, because, you understand, +before the doctor can dig through the dirt and get at the disease the man +dies. The upper classes take a sea-bath every day, and are pretty +decent. + +The streets are generally about wide enough for one wagon, and how they +do swarm with people! It is Broadway repeated in every street, in every +court, in every alley! Such masses, such throngs, such multitudes of +hurrying, bustling, struggling humanity! We never saw the like of it, +hardly even in New York, I think. There are seldom any sidewalks, and +when there are, they are not often wide enough to pass a man on without +caroming on him. So everybody walks in the street--and where the street +is wide enough, carriages are forever dashing along. Why a thousand +people are not run over and crippled every day is a mystery that no man +can solve. But if there is an eighth wonder in the world, it must be the +dwelling-houses of Naples. I honestly believe a good majority of them +are a hundred feet high! And the solid brick walls are seven feet +through. You go up nine flights of stairs before you get to the "first" +floor. No, not nine, but there or thereabouts. There is a little +bird-cage of an iron railing in front of every window clear away up, up, +up, among the eternal clouds, where the roof is, and there is always +somebody looking out of every window--people of ordinary size looking +out from the first floor, people a shade smaller from the second, people +that look a little smaller yet from the third--and from thence upward +they grow smaller and smaller by a regularly graduated diminution, till +the folks in the topmost windows seem more like birds in an uncommonly +tall martin-box than any thing else. The perspective of one of these +narrow cracks of streets, with its rows of tall houses stretching away +till they come together in the distance like railway tracks; its +clothes-lines crossing over at all altitudes and waving their bannered +raggedness over the swarms of people below; and the white-dressed women +perched in balcony railings all the way from the pavement up to the +heavens--a perspective like that is really worth going into Neapolitan +details to see. + + + ASCENT OF VESUVIUS--CONTINUED. + +Naples, with its immediate suburbs, contains six hundred and twenty-five +thousand inhabitants, but I am satisfied it covers no more ground than an +American city of one hundred and fifty thousand. It reaches up into the +air infinitely higher than three American cities, though, and there is +where the secret of it lies. I will observe here, in passing, that the +contrasts between opulence and poverty, and magnificence and misery, are +more frequent and more striking in Naples than in Paris even. One must +go to the Bois de Boulogne to see fashionable dressing, splendid +equipages and stunning liveries, and to the Faubourg St. Antoine to see +vice, misery, hunger, rags, dirt--but in the thoroughfares of Naples +these things are all mixed together. Naked boys of nine years and the +fancy-dressed children of luxury; shreds and tatters, and brilliant +uniforms; jackass-carts and state-carriages; beggars, Princes and +Bishops, jostle each other in every street. At six o'clock every +evening, all Naples turns out to drive on the 'Riviere di Chiaja', +(whatever that may mean;) and for two hours one may stand there and see +the motliest and the worst mixed procession go by that ever eyes beheld. +Princes (there are more Princes than policemen in Naples--the city is +infested with them)--Princes who live up seven flights of stairs and +don't own any principalities, will keep a carriage and go hungry; and +clerks, mechanics, milliners and strumpets will go without their dinners +and squander the money on a hack-ride in the Chiaja; the rag-tag and +rubbish of the city stack themselves up, to the number of twenty or +thirty, on a rickety little go-cart hauled by a donkey not much bigger +than a cat, and they drive in the Chiaja; Dukes and bankers, in sumptuous +carriages and with gorgeous drivers and footmen, turn out, also, and so +the furious procession goes. For two hours rank and wealth, and +obscurity and poverty clatter along side by side in the wild procession, +and then go home serene, happy, covered with glory! + +I was looking at a magnificent marble staircase in the King's palace, the +other day, which, it was said, cost five million francs, and I suppose it +did cost half a million, may be. I felt as if it must be a fine thing to +live in a country where there was such comfort and such luxury as this. +And then I stepped out musing, and almost walked over a vagabond who was +eating his dinner on the curbstone--a piece of bread and a bunch of +grapes. When I found that this mustang was clerking in a fruit +establishment (he had the establishment along with him in a basket,) at +two cents a day, and that he had no palace at home where he lived, I lost +some of my enthusiasm concerning the happiness of living in Italy. + +This naturally suggests to me a thought about wages here. Lieutenants in +the army get about a dollar a day, and common soldiers a couple of cents. +I only know one clerk--he gets four dollars a month. Printers get six +dollars and a half a month, but I have heard of a foreman who gets +thirteen. + +To be growing suddenly and violently rich, as this man is, naturally +makes him a bloated aristocrat. The airs he puts on are insufferable. + +And, speaking of wages, reminds me of prices of merchandise. In Paris +you pay twelve dollars a dozen for Jouvin's best kid gloves; gloves of +about as good quality sell here at three or four dollars a dozen. You +pay five and six dollars apiece for fine linen shirts in Paris; here and +in Leghorn you pay two and a half. In Marseilles you pay forty dollars +for a first-class dress coat made by a good tailor, but in Leghorn you +can get a full dress suit for the same money. Here you get handsome +business suits at from ten to twenty dollars, and in Leghorn you can get +an overcoat for fifteen dollars that would cost you seventy in New York. +Fine kid boots are worth eight dollars in Marseilles and four dollars +here. Lyons velvets rank higher in America than those of Genoa. Yet the +bulk of Lyons velvets you buy in the States are made in Genoa and +imported into Lyons, where they receive the Lyons stamp and are then +exported to America. You can buy enough velvet in Genoa for twenty-five +dollars to make a five hundred dollar cloak in New York--so the ladies +tell me. Of course these things bring me back, by a natural and easy +transition, to the + + ASCENT OF VESUVIUS--CONTINUED. + +And thus the wonderful Blue Grotto is suggested to me. It is situated on +the Island of Capri, twenty-two miles from Naples. We chartered a little +steamer and went out there. Of course, the police boarded us and put us +through a health examination, and inquired into our politics, before they +would let us land. The airs these little insect Governments put on are +in the last degree ridiculous. They even put a policeman on board of our +boat to keep an eye on us as long as we were in the Capri dominions. +They thought we wanted to steal the grotto, I suppose. It was worth +stealing. The entrance to the cave is four feet high and four feet wide, +and is in the face of a lofty perpendicular cliff--the sea-wall. You +enter in small boats--and a tight squeeze it is, too. You can not go in +at all when the tide is up. Once within, you find yourself in an arched +cavern about one hundred and sixty feet long, one hundred and twenty +wide, and about seventy high. How deep it is no man knows. It goes down +to the bottom of the ocean. The waters of this placid subterranean lake +are the brightest, loveliest blue that can be imagined. They are as +transparent as plate glass, and their coloring would shame the richest +sky that ever bent over Italy. No tint could be more ravishing, no +lustre more superb. Throw a stone into the water, and the myriad of tiny +bubbles that are created flash out a brilliant glare like blue theatrical +fires. Dip an oar, and its blade turns to splendid frosted silver, +tinted with blue. Let a man jump in, and instantly he is cased in an +armor more gorgeous than ever kingly Crusader wore. + +Then we went to Ischia, but I had already been to that island and tired +myself to death "resting" a couple of days and studying human villainy, +with the landlord of the Grande Sentinelle for a model. So we went to +Procida, and from thence to Pozzuoli, where St. Paul landed after he +sailed from Samos. I landed at precisely the same spot where St. Paul +landed, and so did Dan and the others. It was a remarkable coincidence. +St. Paul preached to these people seven days before he started to Rome. + +Nero's Baths, the ruins of Baiae, the Temple of Serapis; Cumae, where the +Cumaen Sybil interpreted the oracles, the Lake Agnano, with its ancient +submerged city still visible far down in its depths--these and a hundred +other points of interest we examined with critical imbecility, but the +Grotto of the Dog claimed our chief attention, because we had heard and +read so much about it. Every body has written about the Grotto del Cane +and its poisonous vapors, from Pliny down to Smith, and every tourist has +held a dog over its floor by the legs to test the capabilities of the +place. The dog dies in a minute and a half--a chicken instantly. As a +general thing, strangers who crawl in there to sleep do not get up until +they are called. And then they don't either. The stranger that ventures +to sleep there takes a permanent contract. I longed to see this grotto. +I resolved to take a dog and hold him myself; suffocate him a little, and +time him; suffocate him some more and then finish him. We reached the +grotto at about three in the afternoon, and proceeded at once to make the +experiments. But now, an important difficulty presented itself. We had +no dog. + + ASCENT OF VESUVIUS--CONTINUED. + +At the Hermitage we were about fifteen or eighteen hundred feet above the +sea, and thus far a portion of the ascent had been pretty abrupt. For +the next two miles the road was a mixture--sometimes the ascent was +abrupt and sometimes it was not: but one characteristic it possessed all +the time, without failure--without modification--it was all +uncompromisingly and unspeakably infamous. It was a rough, narrow trail, +and led over an old lava flow--a black ocean which was tumbled into a +thousand fantastic shapes--a wild chaos of ruin, desolation, and +barrenness--a wilderness of billowy upheavals, of furious whirlpools, of +miniature mountains rent asunder--of gnarled and knotted, wrinkled and +twisted masses of blackness that mimicked branching roots, great vines, +trunks of trees, all interlaced and mingled together: and all these weird +shapes, all this turbulent panorama, all this stormy, far-stretching +waste of blackness, with its thrilling suggestiveness of life, of action, +of boiling, surging, furious motion, was petrified!--all stricken dead +and cold in the instant of its maddest rioting!--fettered, paralyzed, and +left to glower at heaven in impotent rage for evermore! + +Finally we stood in a level, narrow valley (a valley that had been +created by the terrific march of some old time irruption) and on either +hand towered the two steep peaks of Vesuvius. The one we had to climb +--the one that contains the active volcano--seemed about eight hundred or +one thousand feet high, and looked almost too straight-up-and-down for +any man to climb, and certainly no mule could climb it with a man on his +back. Four of these native pirates will carry you to the top in a sedan +chair, if you wish it, but suppose they were to slip and let you fall, +--is it likely that you would ever stop rolling? Not this side of +eternity, perhaps. We left the mules, sharpened our finger-nails, and +began the ascent I have been writing about so long, at twenty minutes to +six in the morning. The path led straight up a rugged sweep of loose +chunks of pumice-stone, and for about every two steps forward we took, we +slid back one. It was so excessively steep that we had to stop, every +fifty or sixty steps, and rest a moment. To see our comrades, we had to +look very nearly straight up at those above us, and very nearly straight +down at those below. We stood on the summit at last--it had taken an +hour and fifteen minutes to make the trip. + +What we saw there was simply a circular crater--a circular ditch, if you +please--about two hundred feet deep, and four or five hundred feet wide, +whose inner wall was about half a mile in circumference. In the centre +of the great circus ring thus formed, was a torn and ragged upheaval a +hundred feet high, all snowed over with a sulphur crust of many and many +a brilliant and beautiful color, and the ditch inclosed this like the +moat of a castle, or surrounded it as a little river does a little +island, if the simile is better. The sulphur coating of that island was +gaudy in the extreme--all mingled together in the richest confusion were +red, blue, brown, black, yellow, white--I do not know that there was a +color, or shade of a color, or combination of colors, unrepresented--and +when the sun burst through the morning mists and fired this tinted +magnificence, it topped imperial Vesuvius like a jeweled crown! + +The crater itself--the ditch--was not so variegated in coloring, but yet, +in its softness, richness, and unpretentious elegance, it was more +charming, more fascinating to the eye. There was nothing "loud" about +its well-bred and well-creased look. Beautiful? One could stand and +look down upon it for a week without getting tired of it. It had the +semblance of a pleasant meadow, whose slender grasses and whose velvety +mosses were frosted with a shining dust, and tinted with palest green +that deepened gradually to the darkest hue of the orange leaf, and +deepened yet again into gravest brown, then faded into orange, then into +brightest gold, and culminated in the delicate pink of a new-blown rose. +Where portions of the meadow had sunk, and where other portions had been +broken up like an ice-floe, the cavernous openings of the one, and the +ragged upturned edges exposed by the other, were hung with a lace-work of +soft-tinted crystals of sulphur that changed their deformities into +quaint shapes and figures that were full of grace and beauty. + +The walls of the ditch were brilliant with yellow banks of sulphur and +with lava and pumice-stone of many colors. No fire was visible any +where, but gusts of sulphurous steam issued silently and invisibly from a +thousand little cracks and fissures in the crater, and were wafted to our +noses with every breeze. But so long as we kept our nostrils buried in +our handkerchiefs, there was small danger of suffocation. + +Some of the boys thrust long slips of paper down into holes and set them +on fire, and so achieved the glory of lighting their cigars by the flames +of Vesuvius, and others cooked eggs over fissures in the rocks and were +happy. + +The view from the summit would have been superb but for the fact that the +sun could only pierce the mists at long intervals. Thus the glimpses we +had of the grand panorama below were only fitful and unsatisfactory. + + THE DESCENT. + +The descent of the mountain was a labor of only four minutes. Instead of +stalking down the rugged path we ascended, we chose one which was bedded +knee-deep in loose ashes, and ploughed our way with prodigious strides +that would almost have shamed the performance of him of the seven-league +boots. + +The Vesuvius of today is a very poor affair compared to the mighty +volcano of Kilauea, in the Sandwich Islands, but I am glad I visited it. +It was well worth it. + +It is said that during one of the grand eruptions of Vesuvius it +discharged massy rocks weighing many tons a thousand feet into the air, +its vast jets of smoke and steam ascended thirty miles toward the +firmament, and clouds of its ashes were wafted abroad and fell upon the +decks of ships seven hundred and fifty miles at sea! I will take the +ashes at a moderate discount, if any one will take the thirty miles of +smoke, but I do not feel able to take a commanding interest in the whole +story by myself. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Innocents Abroad, Part 3 of 6 +by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE INNOCENTS ABROAD, PART 3 OF 6 *** + +***** This file should be named 5690.txt or 5690.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/5/6/9/5690/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +https://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: https://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/5690.zip b/5690.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..35fb604 --- /dev/null +++ b/5690.zip diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..193eaf4 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #5690 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/5690) diff --git a/old/mt3in10h.zip b/old/mt3in10h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..23bbd10 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/mt3in10h.zip |
