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diff --git a/56965-0.txt b/56965-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6d36c25 --- /dev/null +++ b/56965-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1263 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 56965 *** + + + + + + + + + + The Wheels of Time + + + * * * * * + + + The Wheels of Time + + By + + Florence L. Barclay + + _Author of "The Rosary" and "The Mistress of Shenstone"_ + + + _ILLUSTRATED BY R. G. VOSBURGH_ + + + New York + + Thomas Y. Crowell & Co. + + Publishers + + + Copyright, 1908, 1910, + + By THOMAS Y. CROWELL & CO. + + + + + _To one woman who said "I go not," but afterwards repented and went_ + + + * * * * * + + + Illustrations + + +"Flower," he said, "my lovely fragrant Flower! + +"Good old Jane," she said. "I do enjoy talking to you" + +"You are not much use at answering questions, darling, are you?" + +"Oh, Flower! _You cared like this?_" + + + * * * * * + + + The Wheels of Time + + +The doctor stood, with his hand on the doorknob, and gave a final look +back into his wife's boudoir. + +There was nothing in that room suggestive of town or of town life +and work--delicate green and white, a mossy carpet, masses of spring +flowers; cool, soft, noiseless, fragrant. + +Standing in the doorway the doctor could hear the agitated clang of the +street-door bell, Stoddart crossing the hall; the opening and closing +of the door, and Stoddart's subdued and sympathetic voice saying: "Step +this way, please." A heavy, depressed foot or an anxious, hurried +one, according to the mental condition of its owner, obeyed; and the +shutting of the library door meant another patient added to the number +of those who were already listlessly turning over the pages of bound +volumes of _Punch_ or scrutinizing with unseeing eyes the Landseer +engraving over the mantelpiece. + +In former days the waiting-room used to be the doctor's dining-room, +but before he married his pretty wife she put her foot down firmly on +this question. He had been explaining the Wimpole Street house and its +arrangements as they stood together in her sunny rose-garden. + +"But, Deryck," she had exclaimed in dismay, waving her hands at him, +full of a great mass of freshly gathered roses, "I could not _possibly_ +sit down and dine with you in a room where your horrible patients have +sat waiting for hours, leaving behind them the germs of all their +nasty, infectious diseases!" + +The doctor caught the little hands, roses and all, and held them +against his breast, looking down into her face with laughing eyes. + +"Flower," he said, "my lovely, fragrant Flower! Am I doing a foolish +thing in attempting to transplant you into the soil of busy London +life? Should I not do better if I left you in your rose-garden? Ah, +well, it is too late to ask that now; I can't leave Wimpole Street, +and"--his voice, always deep, suddenly thrilled to a deeper depth; a +tenderness of strong passion quivered in it--"I can't live without +you." He let go her hands and framed her upturned face in his strong, +brown fingers. + +"What have you done to me, Flower? I was always self-contained and +self-sufficing, and now I find I can't live without you, Flower--_my_ +Flower." + +His eyes glowed down into her face. She looked up sweetly at him. + +"But, Deryck," she said, "they _do_ leave the germs of all their nasty +infectious--" + +The doctor's hands fell suddenly to his sides. + +"My dear child," he said, and his voice instantly regained its usual +evenness of tone, "have I not told you that I am a mind specialist? The +people who come to my consulting-room are not, as a rule, suffering +from measles, scarlet fever, or smallpox!" + +"Oh, well, they leave their dreadful morbid thoughts behind them; and +that is worse. I could not dine in a room where diseased minds have +sat for hours, brooding. It would give me creeps. And oh, Deryck, you +know that stupid article you read me the other day, about how mental +impressions, when a mind was highly strung or unbalanced, could leave +an impress upon walls or furniture--explaining ghost stories, you +know?--I forget who wrote it.... You did? My dear boy, how clever of +you!... Oh, no! How can you say I called it 'stupid'? Or if I did, I +meant 'interesting,' of course. See how well I remembered it, though +you thought I was not listening, because I had to keep counting the +stitches in the heels of your golf stockings, you ungrateful man! And I +am certain you are right about horrible thoughts sticking to furniture. +And however well Stoddart arranged the room he couldn't sweep them +away, and we should sit at dinner surrounded by them--oh, Deryck, +_surrounded!_" + +Her lovely eyes looked widely at him, over the gathered roses. + +The doctor laughed. It is so easy for a man to laugh before marriage. + +"All right, Flower," he said. "There is nothing like convincing a +fellow with his own arguments. We will remodel the house. I'll talk it +over with Hunt. You shall have dining-room, drawing-room, and boudoir, +all on the first floor, and I and my freaks will have the run of the +ground floor. You will need only to pass through the hall to go in and +out of the house. So, if they drop their poor minds about, you will not +come across them. Now, choose me that promised button-hole, and then +let us come down to the stream. I don't like a rose-garden when half of +the windows of the house overlook it!" + +This was seven years ago, and it now sometimes seemed to Dr. Brand as +if his tall Wimpole Street house represented in its stories the various +portions of the human anatomy; absolutely distinct in themselves, +but held together and kept going by the brain; the ever-busy brain +controlling all. + +His wife's apartments on the first floor; his life with her there, into +which his professional interests were so rarely allowed to intrude; +certainly they represented the _heart_ of things; the man's whole heart +rested and centred there. + +The floor above was given up to the nurseries, and there, already, two +pairs of little feet pattered ceaselessly, and merry voices shouted +clear and gleeful, and a little flower-faced girl peeped down at him +through the balustrade, and a small boy, gazing earnestly with dark, +steadfast eyes into the interior of a jumping rabbit which refused to +jump, reproduced absurdly his own intent professional manner. + +In the basement were the kitchens, and he was as ignorant of them as, +he reflected with a smile, every perfectly healthy man should be of the +digestive organs of his own anatomy. + +Then on the ground floor, between the life below-stairs and the +life above, but generating the needful supplies to keep the +whole establishment going, dwelt the Brain--_his_ brain, his +untiring, ever-growing capacity for hard work, represented by his +consulting-room, where so many strenuous hours were spent, and the old +dining-room, now called the library, where an ever-increasing number of +patients waited daily. This floor of his life was practically unshared +by any, excepting the faithful and punctilious old butler, whose +monotonous "Step this way, sir," "Please to step this way, ma'am," +served to punctuate the departure of one case and the arrival of the +next. + +Sometimes the desire to share the interest of this ever-varying daily +work with another, gripped him in the throes of its human necessity. +When his deep, penetrating eyes had been long bent upon the shifting, +shuffling mind of a patient, at last piercing with tender mercilessness +to the very core of that mind's malady; when his quick brain had +grasped the case in all its bearings, and his magnificent will-power +had compelled the shaken soul to see things as he saw them, to believe +things as he believed them, to face the future as the future alone +could rightly be faced; when his inspiring enthusiasm and belief in God +and life and human nature had set that mental cripple on his feet or +loosed the bands which had bound some poor "daughter of Abraham,--lo, +these eighteen years"; when, conducted by Stoddart's mechanical "Step +this way," they passed out from his consulting-room to tread with new +hopes the path of a new life, he would stride to his window, squaring +his shoulders, and taking in a deep breath of fresh air, he would say: +"God, what a victory! I must tell Flower." + +But once in Flower's boudoir, with a dainty china teacup in his hand +and a muffin on his knee, hearing the blissful details of Blossom's +new syllable, or Dicky's latest development, or Flower's own triumphal +progress through the Park in the new motor-car, somehow the story of +the strenuous fight, the hopeful victory, seemed out of place. This was +the home of _feeling; thought_ must not intrude. This was the domain +of trivialities; the great issues of life must hide in the background. +This was the home of the Heart; the Brain must abide below. + +Yet matrimony and motherhood had done much to deepen Flower. The +linking with his nature; the having perforce to awaken in order to meet +and satisfy the deep needs of his overmastering love; the constant +example of his unselfish nobility, singleness of purpose, and high +ideal of life; and, above all, the pangs and joys of motherhood; all +these had made of the wilful, wayward little Flower of the rose-garden, +a sweet and gracious woman; in outward face and form more exquisite +than ever, and in the hidden part an awakening soul, which needed only +an hour of deep agony, a tearing away of the flimsy veil of selfishness +and conventionality now stifling it, to bring it to the birth. + +But that time of pain and stress came not to Flower, because the +strong, shielding love of a man was always around her, and his care +warded off the very thing which alone could have brought about his +comfort and her completion. And yet he was dimly conscious of a gradual +growth in her, and sometimes, half wistfully, he called her "Mary," +that name so sacred to perfect motherhood, and which had seemed such an +incongruous gift from her sponsors, to his Flower of the rose-garden. + + * * * * * + +On this particular morning, when the doctor stood at the door looking +into the boudoir, Flower was bending over a huge bowl of daffodils, +arranging each golden trumpet to her liking. + +The spring sunshine came glancing through the window and touched her +hair to the gold of the blossoms. The doctor noted this, and a sudden +look of adoration softened the cool clearness of his eyes. + +The baby's godmother, on this last day of her visit, sitting by the +fire with her feet on the fender, opening and smoothing a copy of the +_Times_, glanced up, past the sunshine and the daffodils, saw that look +and promptly retired behind a leading article. + +The baby's godmother was a perfectly beautiful woman in an absolutely +plain shell, but, unfortunately, no man had yet looked beneath the +shell and seen the woman herself in her perfection. She would have made +earth heaven for a blind lover who, not having eyes for the plainness +of her face or the massiveness of her figure, might have drawn nearer +and apprehended the wonder of her as a woman; experiencing the wealth +of tenderness of which she was capable, the blessed comfort of the +shelter of her love, the perfect comprehension of her sympathy, the +marvellous joy of winning and wedding her. But as yet no blind man with +far-seeing vision had come her way, and it always seemed to be her lot +to take a second place on occasions when she would have filled the +first to infinite perfection. + +She had been bridesmaid at the doctor's wedding, to whom she would +have made a wife such as Flower, develop as she might, could never be. +She was godmother to the baby--she whose arms ached for motherhood +itself and whose motherliness would have been a thing for men to kneel +down and worship. She found her duties as godmother to various babies +consisted chiefly in praying that the foolish mistakes made by their +parents might be overruled by an all-wise Providence and work out +somehow to their ultimate good. + +She had a glorious voice; but her face, not matching it, its existence +was rarely suspected; and as she accompanied to perfection, she was +usually in requisition to play for the singing of others. Only once, at +a concert, where the principal songstress failed at the last moment, +she volunteered to fill the empty place, and walked to the piano, when +the moment came, in the double capacity of singer and accompanist. How +she "brought down the house" on this occasion, and how a blind man's +eyes were opened, belongs to another story. + +Meanwhile she was a woman of tact, and when she perceived how the +doctor was momentarily dazzled by the sunlight and the gold, she +retired, obviously, behind the _Times_ leader. + +"Darling," said the doctor, "I am wired for to Brighton, in +consultation over a very important case. I must go down by an afternoon +train, and I doubt if I can get back to-night." + +"How tiresome, Deryck! It is Myra's reception this evening, and I +promised to bring you with me. I shall hate going alone. However, I +suppose it cannot be helped. Did you ever see such daffodils? It makes +one long to be back in the woods at home." + +The doctor hesitated. Downstairs the bell rang again, the hall door +opened and closed, Stoddart said, "Step this way, sir." + +"Flower," said the doctor, "I have a jolly little plan for to-night. I +want you to come to Brighton with me. We will put up at the Metropole +and have a real good time. I ought to be able to get back to you there +soon after seven, and we can have dinner and go on the pier afterwards +and watch the moonlight on the sea. Or, if you prefer something more +lively, there is a good concert on in the Dome. I will telephone for +seats. It is a long while since we heard any music together." + +He stopped rather breathlessly. + +The front doorbell rang again. + +The doctor's wife took out a daffodil and replaced it to better +advantage. Then she looked up with an exquisite smile. + +"Dearest, you are so amusing with your sudden plans! It sounds +delightful, of course. I love Brighton in spring. I shall never forget +driving along the King's Road in the sunshine, with a huge bunch of +violets on my muff. It was too heavenly! Early March, and the whole +place seemed to sing of how summer was coming! But we cannot always do +what we like. I _must_ look in at Myra's party, and I should really +have thought you might have got back in time. If you appeared at +eleven, it would do." + +The doctor's face, against the pale green woodwork of the door, +suddenly looked rather worn and thin. + +"I am afraid I could not get back, Flower," he said. "I may have to put +in a second visit in the morning. And--darling--I want you to-night. +This case will be rather a strain. It will be just everything to have +you down there to come back to. The moment it is over I shall remember +you are waiting for me." + +The baby's godmother looked up quietly over the _Times_. She had heard +the tone in his voice and she saw on his face just what she expected +to see. Notwithstanding his forty years, despite his brilliant powers, +his ceaseless energy, he looked at that minute like a tired child, just +needing to be gathered into a loving woman's arms and hushed to rest. +He was facing, beforehand, what he would be feeling after the strain +was over. He was yearning for the love and companionship, dreading the +solitude and loneliness. The baby's godmother knew exactly what he +needed. She awaited Flower's reply. + +"Who is 'the case,' Deryck?" + +The doctor hesitated an instant, then named a name so widely known that +the baby's godmother bounded in her chair. + +"My dear Deryck," she cried, "if you are successful there, it means +fame--world wide! Oh, what can we do to help? Must you see patients +this morning?" + +The doctor smiled. + +"I must, Jeanette, unless you will see them for me. But work fits +me for work. It is only after it is all over one feels a bit tired +sometimes." He looked at Flower. "Well, sweet? Can you be ready at two +o'clock sharp?" + +"Dear," she said, "I am _so_ sorry, but I can't see my way clear about +going with you to-day. If only it had been to-morrow! Nurse has asked +to go out to tea and to stay the evening, and I promised to have +the children down longer than usual. Of course there _is_ Emma, and +Marsdon could help. But I should not feel easy about it. And I promised +Dicky and Blossom we would have all the stuffed animals out and play +menagerie. I never _can_ feel it right to disappoint little children. +And you know you often say to me yourself, 'If you have promised them a +thing, keep to it at all costs.' Besides, there _is_ Myra's tiresome +'at home' to consider. Really, Deryck, I don't see how I can be away +today." + +"All right, Flower," the doctor said quietly. "I am sorry I bothered +you by proposing it. Don't expect me up to lunch. Every moment will +be full this morning. Stoddart will put some sandwiches in my bag. +Good-bye." + +The door closed behind him. They heard his quick step on the stairs and +the consulting-room door shut sharply. + +The baby's godmother laid down the _Times_, folded her skirt back over +her knees, and stirred the fire with her shoe. + +Flower sighed. + +"Deryck really _is_ trying," she said. + +The baby's godmother bit her lip. She had found that she could help the +doctor's wife best by never contradicting her. + +"Very clever people usually are trying," she remarked after a pause, +"to those who have to live with them." + +Flower wheeled round and looked at her. + +"My good Jane, I don't know what you mean! Deryck is perfect to live +with, _perfect_! Have you stayed here ten days without finding that +out? He is only trying when he swoops down upon me with a sudden plan +and expects me to be ready to rush away with him at a moment's notice. +If he had let me know yesterday it might have been managed." + +"I gathered he only knew himself this morning." + +"That has nothing whatever to do with it. The crux of the whole matter +is that _I_ had promised _nurse_ she should have the evening, and I +cannot leave the children, with nurse away." + +The baby's godmother bent over the grate, took up the poker, and +carefully built a little castle of molten coal in the very heart of the +bright fire. Her hands looked strong and firm and very capable. Her +face flushed as she bent over the glowing flame. + +The doctor's wife, cool and dainty, put masses of early white lilac +into a tall crystal vase. + +Silence reigned. + +The clock struck eleven. + +Then the baby's godmother laid down the fire-iron and began to speak, +her hands clasped firmly around her large knees. + +"Flower, when a man such as your husband wants you, you should leave +everything--_everything_--to go to him. What are social engagements +and servants' plans, ay, even children, compared with the needs of +such a man as Deryck? Oh, my dear, couldn't you hear the appeal in +his voice? It was like the cry of a tired child in the dark, groping +for its resting-place, which just wants lifting up into its mother's +arms and hushing to sleep. Strong man though he is--and I suppose you +and I can hardly realize how strong he is when coping with the great +needs of others--he will always be a boy where he loves. He is so +young in heart, so eternally, passionately young. He wants mothering +just now. He is doing the work of three men, and doing it at high +pressure. I hear of it from outside, as perhaps you cannot. And when +the day is over he needs a place of rest--a tender, understanding place +of rest, where he can talk or be silent, sleep or wake, as the fancy +takes him, but where he will never be left alone to live again through +the happenings of the day, too tired to escape them. And oh, Flower, +you, and you alone, can do this for him. Shall I tell you? I know +half-a-dozen women at least who would throw over social engagements, +leave husbands, children, everything, and go down to stay at Brighton +or anywhere else on the chance of five minutes' conversation with +Deryck, or of his needing, at the moment, a comrade and friend." + +"Horrid creatures!" cried Flower, mockingly, "their husbands ought to +have something to say to them for running after mine. I wonder a proper +person like you, Jane, is not ashamed to talk of them. And you need not +try to make me jealous. It is one of my theories that only small minds +are jealous. I have always stood far above the feeling." + +"I know, dear, I know," said the baby's godmother, hastily. "I had not +the faintest hope of making you jealous. Besides, why should you be? +Deryck has never looked twice at any woman but you. We all know that." + +Flower laid down her scissors and came and knelt on the hearthrug, +mollified and a little wistful. She spread out her damp hands to the +blaze and looked up into the baby's godmother's plain face, with a +mischievous, inquisitive smile. + +"Do you know, Jane," she said, "I have sometimes wondered--you seem to +know each other so intimately--whether in the long-ago days, before he +met me, Deryck ever proposed to you?" + +The baby's godmother laughed, and again stirred the fire with her toe. + +"Well, my dear, you may rest assured he never did so, for the most +conclusive of all reasons,--I should not have refused him." + +Flower laughed gaily. + +[Illustration: "GOOD OLD JANE," SHE SAID, "I DO ENJOY TALKING TO YOU."] + +"Good old Jane," she said. "I do enjoy talking to you, you are so +deliciously unconventional." Then more soberly, "It is not fair that +you should think I do not take proper care of Deryck and do not suffer +during his absences. I go through perfect agonies of mind during the +long hours of the night, when he is tearing down from Scotland by the +mail train. I keep waking and thinking how bumpy it must be to lie +along the seat of a railway carriage. He never will take a sleeper. And +I lie and think of all the signal-men who hold his life in their hands, +and hope they don't drink." Flower's voice trembled with emotion. +"After reading about all those fearful railway smashes lately, I wrote +on one of his visiting cards: _In case of accident, wire at once to +Mrs. Deryck Brand, Wimpole Street, London, W._ I put it into his +pocketbook, and it comforts me to know it is always upon him." + +The lovely eyes of the doctor's wife were wet. Her lashes glistened in +the firelight. The baby's godmother stooped and took up the poker, then +laid it down again, unused. + +"Well, Flower," she said at length, very deliberately, "and suppose an +accident happened and they wired to you? What would you do?" + +"Do?" exclaimed the doctor's wife, her lovely eyes dilating. "Why, go +to him, of course!" + +"But suppose nurse happened to be out? Or you had people coming to tea? +Or you had promised the children--" + +"Jane, Jane, how odious you are! none of those things would matter, of +course. If he were hurt or ill, nothing could keep me from his side. I +should not even stop to pack. I should fly.... What?... Well, I might +let Marsdon pack a handbag, but I should certainly catch the first +possible train." + +The baby's godmother stooped for the poker once more and this time she +assaulted the dying embers vigorously, remarking in a muffled voice: +"Yes, I think a handbag would be wise. Decidedly, I would have Marsdon +and a handbag in the programme." Then, suddenly dropping the poker with +a clatter, she caught Flower's fluttering hands in hers and held them +firmly, looking searchingly into her upturned face. + +"Ah, child, child! You remind me of the story of a white rose-tree. Sit +down for five minutes while I tell it to you. + +"Two friends of mine have a lovely little place in Hertfordshire. +She--Sybel--takes a great delight in her garden, particularly in +growing roses. They had one tiny girl of four years old, rightly named +Angela--the sweetest little angel-child I ever beheld. I ran down +to them for one night last June. Sybel and I were having tea in the +garden, close to a magnificent white rose-tree, a mass of fragrant +bud and blossom. Sybel was very proud of it. Presently we heard +little dancing feet down the gravel path behind us, and the baby-girl +appeared. She stood gravely contemplating us at tea, not asking for +anything. Sybel is a great disciplinarian. Suddenly the baby eyes fell +upon the rose-tree, and a wistful look of longing passed into them. +She drew close to Sybel and looked pleadingly up into her face. 'Oh, +mummie, they are _so_ lubly! May I pick one of your roses?' 'Certainly +not,' said Sybel. 'How often am I to tell you, baby, that you are +never to pick flowers in the garden! Run along to nurse, and don't be +troublesome.' + +"The baby said no more, but I saw the little mouth droop and quiver. +The small feet trailed slowly away over the grass, all the dance gone +out of them, and Sybel gave me a long dissertation on the bringing up +of children and the importance of checking their natural tendency to +destructiveness, my only reply being, I am afraid, 'What on earth is +the good of a garden full of flowers if your own baby can't gather +and enjoy them!' To which Sybel made answer: 'It is just as well, my +dear Jane, that you remain unmarried. You would hopelessly spoil your +children if you had any.' + +"With that we laughed and ceased sparring; for Sybel is a good sort +and was a devoted mother, provided her little child pleased her in all +things." + +The baby's godmother paused a moment, as if mentally reviewing a scene +and seeking for words in which to describe it. Then she leaned forward, +with her arms upon her knees and her hands clasped in front of her, and +as she spoke, slowly and quietly, she kept her eyes fixed upon those +firmly folded hands. + +"Three weeks later I was wired for, to go back there and comfort a +despairing, childless mother. + +"When poor Sybel took me up to see the little body, it lay upon the +bed, smothered in white roses--roses in the little hands, roses round +the tiny feet, snowy petals framing the baby face, now whiter than the +whitest rose. When I saw them, and when poor Sybel fell on her knees at +the foot of the little bed and moaned in anguish of heart, I knew why +she had sent for me. + +"'Oh, Jane,' she said, 'Jane! You remember. She wanted _one_ white +rose, _just one_, and I would not let her have it. Oh, my baby, my +baby!' + +"'Sybel, dear,' I said helplessly, 'she has them all now.' + +"'_Now!_' cried Sybel, in the most fearful accents of despair. 'What +good is it _now?_ Ten thousand roses strewn about her now are not worth +the one gathered by her own little hand when she wanted it, which would +have given her pleasure then. Too late! Too late! Oh, God, the wheels +of time! Will they never move backward? Shall I never hear again my +baby's voice saying, "Mummie, may I pick one of your roses?" Oh, baby, +speak to poor mummie and say you know you may have them all!' + +"But the little angel-face was calmly unresponsive, and the tiny +marble hands so lightly clasped the rose stems that when the mother's +desperate weeping shook the bed, the roses those baby hands seemed +holding, dropped from them and fell, unheeded. + +"Ah, poor breaking heart! Love's offering came too late." + +The baby's godmother still kept her eyes on her folded hands. The +doctor's wife was crying softly. + +"Oh, Flower," the deep, sad voice went on, "we are all apt to make the +same terrible mistake. When our dear ones have passed beyond all ken +of earthly pleasures, we send our costly wreaths of rarest flowers, +striving thus to atone for having denied them the one simple blossom +which was all they asked and needed. Let us learn to give our flowers +now--now while they can hold them and have them; now, while they can +scent their perfume and enjoy their beauty. Oh, child, give Deryck +his white rose while he asks it of you. A man requires the instant +fulfillment of his heart's desires. We women can wait. Some of us +enjoy the idea of waiting even for the wreaths and crosses, though we +shall not be there to see them. The morbid picturesqueness of the idea +appeals to us; but a man wants nothing for his cold clay save six feet +of honest earth. His needs are stronger, simpler, more intense than +ours. And what he needs, he needs now. When the battle is over and won, +he will leave the old suit of armor behind and forge ahead to pastures +new. Stand by him now, in the din, the dust, and the heat, with the +cup of cold water he craves. And oh, remember, the wheels of time go +forward, always; backward, never. I want you to be spared the agony of +vain regret." + +The baby's godmother ceased speaking and looked up. The lines were hard +and stern about her mouth and eyes, but the eyes themselves were soft +and infinitely tender. + +Flower rose and, stooping, kissed her gently. + +"I wish he _had_ proposed to you," she said; "you would have done +better for him. But as it was I he wanted, I must do my best, and I +will go to Brighton." + +Then slowly, with bent head, she left the room. + +The baby's godmother sat lost in thought for many minutes. It had cost +her much to say what she had said, and she felt doubtful how long the +impression she had made would endure. Each heart must pass through the +furnace for itself. To hear of the refining of others, has no lasting +effect on the heart's own alloy. + +She knew this, and her thoughts followed Flower anxiously. At length +she rose, and stood leaning her elbow upon the mantelpiece and looking +long at an old miniature of the doctor, placed there among Flower's +special treasures; but the doctor before Flower knew him, the doctor as +he was in years gone by, when he and the baby's godmother were faithful +chums, and she was his trusted confidante and the sharer of all his +hopes and ambitions. So she stood looking into the bright, dark eyes of +a very young man, a man with all the best of life before him, full of a +noble courage, an unfaltering faith in his ideals, an intellect which +should carry him anywhere he willed to go. A smile of conscious power +curved the lips. There was no hint of weariness about the keen, clear +eyes. + +The baby's godmother took it up and laid it in the palm of her large +hand. Then she spoke to it softly. "Oh, Boy!" she said, "oh, Boy! I +have done my best for you. I would always have given you all I had to +give. But you wanted loveliness and I could only give you love. You +have the loveliness and now you are sighing for the love. God send you +that, my dear--my dear. Oh, Boy! I have done what I could." + +She put the portrait down and turned away as the door opened suddenly +to admit the doctor's wife, breathless. + +"Jane, such a nuisance! Madame Celestine has arrived. I entirely +forgot the appointment. My gown for the next Drawing-room, the final +fitting--oh, such a dream! Come up and see, and help and advise. You +old darling, what a blessing to have you here! I never _can_ be firm +with Celestine." + +The luncheon gong had sounded punctually as the clock struck one. The +baby's godmother had waited, restlessly, ten minutes, and then received +a message not to wait, Mrs. Brand would be down from the workroom +shortly. + +Tailor-made, booted, and hatted, ready for her journey into Norfolk, +Jane helped herself to cold chicken and salad, and kept her eye on the +clock, remembering "two sharp." + +"If she comes down quite ready she can do it," thought the baby's +godmother, and turned her healthy attention to apple-tart and custard. + +The door opened and the doctor's wife trailed in, in a teagown. + +"Dear Jane, I apologize. But I knew my absence would not impair your +appetite, and you should not have left me until that good creature +had gone. The restraint of your presence removed, she launched out +into fresh suggestions, and wheedled me into having a gown for the +Devonshire's big squash, though I had meant to go in my Paquin. How +beautifully you carve, my dear, or did old Stoddart do it for you? This +fowl looks as if it had been handled by a man and an expert. Now, I +fear, I am going to make it look as if it had crossed the road in front +of a motor-car. What on earth are you gazing at? 'My pretty Jane, my +dearest Jane, oh, never look so shy!'" trilled the doctor's wife. "Is +anything wrong with the custard?" + +"Flower! How are you to be ready at 2 sharp, when here it is 1.45 and +you in that flimsy teagown?" + +"My dear, I am not going. It is always wisest to adhere to first plans. +I should _love_ to go, but I could not possibly be ready now, and I +cannot feel it right to leave the children when nurse--" + +The door opened quickly and the doctor came in. + +"Dearest," cried Flower, "Lunch after all? If only I had known you were +coming I would have saved a wing--" + +"No," said the doctor, brightly, "no time for lunch to-day, and I +hardly ought to have come upstairs. I have one more patient to see, and +my hansom is at the door. But I wanted to say good-bye, dear, and also +to say--" he dropped his voice slightly--"don't worry about not having +been able to come. It was selfish of me to ask it of you, Flower. And +then I remembered, too, Jeanette was going home to-day, so I ran up to +bid her good-bye, a longer farewell than ours." + +He went round the table and held out his hand to the baby's godmother. + +"Good-bye, Jeanette. My love to all at home. Look us up again when you +can. And thank you for all your loving-kindness to me and mine." + +The baby's godmother rose, and her hand went firmly home to his. Their +eyes were almost on a level as they stood together. + +"Good-bye, Boy," she said. "Don't overwork. Rest whenever possible. And +remember, you and yours are always dear to me. Let me do all I can." + +A half-puzzled, half-pleased look leaped into his eyes at sound of the +old name. It was many years since she had used it. He held her hand and +looked at her with steady scrutiny for a moment. She met his gaze full +and clear. She had nothing to hide. + +"Good-bye, dear," said the doctor, then turned to his wife, and +hesitated. + +"Good-bye, Flower," he said, rather wistfully. + +Flower objected to any demonstration in public. She waved her napkin. + +"Good-bye, my lord," she said, "and while you are gallivanting about at +Brighton, please remember your poor, little domesticated wife staying +at home to tend house and children." + +The door closed sharply behind the doctor. The baby's godmother bent +over her plate in silence. The doctor's wife laughed, moved round the +table to cut a slice of cake, laughed again, rather mirthlessly, then +reiterated all the reasons why it was unreasonable of Deryck to have +asked her to go to Brighton, and of Jane to have made such a point of +her acquiescing, concluding with, "And why do you call him 'Boy'? Such +a silly, inappropriate name! And, oh, I wish I had gone! I hear his +hansom. What a hateful world!" + + * * * * * + +Eight o'clock in the evening. + +The soft, green curtains were drawn in Flower's boudoir, shutting out +the chill of the spring night air. The electric light, shining through +water-lilies, gleamed, soft and bright, from walls and writing-table. +Flower had turned on every spray, hoping to lighten with exterior +brightness the heavy shadow of disappointment and foreboding which had +fallen upon her heart. + +Since the doctor's hansom had tinkled rapidly away towards Victoria, +all had gone wrong with the doctor's wife. + +The baby's godmother, who had had so much to say in the morning, became +absolutely monosyllabic, and conversation languished and died. + +It was a relief to see her depart, with her neat, gentlemanly luggage, +for Liverpool Street Station, and yet it seemed desolate without her, +and the klip-klop of her rapidly receding hansom made a second sound to +be added to the series of knells which should ring in Flower's heart +that day. + +Turning from the hall-door, she ran up to the nursery, to find out at +what hour nurse wished to be free for her outing, and found it was +to-morrow for which nurse had asked, not to-day. Nurse was quite sure +she had said Wednesday; how could she have said Tuesday, when the +married niece to whom she was going always went out to tea on Tuesdays +with her mother-in-law in Pimlico? But, of course, Master Deryck _was_ +hammering at the time, which may have accounted for his mamma not +rightly catching the day. Emma came forward, a ready witness to the +fact that nurse had most certainly said Wednesday, and stuck to her +guns, in spite of Dicky's quiet little voice asserting gravely from the +position he had taken up at his mother's side, "_You_ had gone down for +the milk." + +So the doctor's wife retreated in discomfiture and trailed slowly +downstairs, facing the fact that the one reason which had seemed an +insuperable obstacle to her falling in with her husband's wish and +plan, had been a mistake; a stupid, careless mistake. + +What would Jane say if she knew? + +The tersely expressed remark with which Jane would most likely define +the situation came into her mind, and she smiled a wan little smile, +for the doctor's wife possessed "the saving sense of humor." + +Then she felt more cheerful, rang and ordered the motor, and dressed +for a spin in the park. But everything spoke of Brighton and the +enjoyment she might have had with the doctor on this lovely day. + +The sun was almost warm, and there was a pursuing scent of violets +in the air. The crocuses were shouting to the sparrows, and the +many-colored hyacinths pushed their bright heads up through the brown +earth, obedient to the beckoning of the sunshine. The whole park sang +of springtime, of life and love and joys to come. And she longed for +him beside her, with his keen enjoyment, with his quick way of pointing +out a fresh beauty which she might otherwise have overlooked, with his +knack of making you feel that you were alive, and living every minute +to the full, receiving all it had to give, and, above all, with the +ever-kindling adoration of his love wrapping her round and making her +feel herself to be good and beautiful and worthy. + +This afternoon she sadly needed reinstating in her own esteem. She knew +she was being unjust to herself, but she felt selfish and inadequate +and unworthy of him and of his love. It was Jane who had given her this +uncomfortable feeling. It was odious of Jane to call him "Boy" and to +pretend to understand his needs better than she, his own wife, did. +Oh, if only she had gone to Brighton! If only she had gone! But it was +not _her_ fault that she had been unable to fall in with the plan at +so short notice. Deryck himself had admitted that it was he who was +to blame, and she was not to worry. It was all very well for men to +tell poor, anxious women not to worry. He might have known she would +be wondering all the rest of the day how he was faring at Brighton, +whether he was too tired to eat and too tired to sleep. If only horrid +old celebrities would die at once when they fell ill, instead of +causing all this fuss and trouble.... It would be a great pity to be +too tired to eat at the Metropole, where the table d'hôte dinner was +so perfect.... It was trying of Deryck to rush off with only a packet +of sandwiches in his bag, when, by taking five minutes more from his +tiresome patients, he might have had the wing of a chicken and some +salad.... What a good lunch Jane had made! If she had _really_ been so +troubled at the thought of Deryck going off alone she would hardly have +hurried into the dining-room the moment the gong sounded and given her +mind so completely to her food. Jane was the sort of person who enjoyed +putting other people in the wrong. So different to Deryck, who saw at +once where the blame really belonged and never laid it upon others. +Which was it most right to believe--Deryck or Jane? Deryck, of course. +Then why feel condemned any longer?... How lovely it would have been at +Brighton! A _selfish_ person would have gone at once and not have been +so considerate for tiresome old nurse with her changeable plans. People +who change their plans without any adequate reason do not deserve much +consideration. If she had been a less devoted mother--How sweet it was +of Dicky to point out that Emma had gone down for the milk! So like +Deryck, who never would allow her to be unjustly put in the wrong. It +was wonderful to be so loved by two such natures, father and son. A +woman who was selfish or unworthy could never have drawn out such love. +Jane was not in the least likely ever to marry. How disgusting of her +to speak so approvingly of married women who ran after Deryck. Perhaps, +after all, one of those creatures would happen to be at the Metropole +this evening and would insist upon dining with him at a table for two. + +Another wan little smile flitted across Flower's face. The dimple the +doctor loved peeped out. She knew so exactly how he would feel and +look, and how he would describe the whole occurrence to her afterwards, +giving her unconsciously the gratifying certainty that in her absence +no other woman could by any possibility usurp her place. + +The gliding motion of the car made her drowsy. She leaned back with +closed eyes, enjoying the sensation of speeding forward, trusting to +the deft vigilance of her chauffeur, not even seeing for herself the +possible collisions avoided, the rapid half-turn which meant gliding +from danger into safety. + +The roar of traffic on the distant thoroughfare sounded like the +breaking of the waves on the beach at Brighton. She fancied herself +driving along the King's Road, alighting at the Metropole and meeting +Deryck, to whom she would say, "Dearest, I came after all." + +The sudden slowing of the car aroused her. They were held up for a +moment in a cross-stream of carriages near the main gate. She opened +her eyes and they fell upon a man and woman close by, sitting side by +side in a victoria. The woman had a spray of white roses on her muff. +Her companion bent towards her with a whispered word. She instantly +detached a milk-white bud from the rest and handed it to him. Her look +of blissful, submissive love as she did this, reached to the motor as +an enlightening beam. The man took the rose and fastened it carefully +in his button-hole without any expressed thanks, but, as he leaned +back in the carriage beside her, his look of restful and masterful +possession of herself and all she possessed seemed fully to content the +woman. Her eyes and lips smiled tenderly, and lifting the white roses +she laid them for a moment against her cheek. + +"Home," said the doctor's wife, suddenly; and as the car turned +obediently and sped out at the gate the voice of the baby's godmother +seemed to pursue her relentlessly: "_Give Deryck his white rose while +he asks it of you. A man requires the instant fulfillment of his +heart's desires. When he needs a thing, he needs it_ NOW!" + +Ah, Jeanette, you were very faithful, and you did what you could. + + * * * * * + +Arrived at home, the doctor's wife had tea in company with one or +two choice spirits who dropped in to discuss the reception at Myra +Ingleby's and the coming big affair at the Devonshire's, and much +interest was aroused by the fact that the doctor's wife was _not_ going +in her Paquin, but was to have an absolutely new creation by that +clever old dear, Celestine. + +After all, Jane, with her attention fixed upon apple-tart and her mind +so completely, blankly unsympathetic, was enough to depress anybody. +Deryck would be the first to be indignant, if he knew what Jane had +said. + +Her visitors gone, she rang for the children, and the promised game of +menagerie began, though their small minds had leaped to something else, +which they assured her they would like much better. But she insisted +on the menagerie, rapidly pulling all the stuffed animals out of the +toy cupboard and hurrying them into the middle of the room. She felt +unable to endure that no part of the programme she had explained to +Deryck should take place, and for many years to come the children used +to speak between themselves of menageries as "mother's favorite game." + +All went well for a time. She enjoyed sitting on the soft carpet, with +Blossom rolling over her, a creamy billow of cashmere and lace, and +small Deryck in his black velvet suit, with his neat little black silk +legs and buckled shoes, gravely marshalling the animals and explaining +the mental condition of each, their relation to one another, and their +past and present experiences. + +But by and by he began asking awkward questions about Noah's Ark and +would not be put off with evasive answers. The doctor's wife felt +helpless. She knew little of animals, less of ships, and nothing +whatever of ancient preachers of righteousness. A complete and +comprehensive knowledge of all three would have been required to have +satisfactorily answered Dicky's questions. So, harassed and worried, +she entrenched herself hastily in what appeared to be an impregnable +position. + +"My dear little boy, how can I possibly tell? _I was not there._" + +Deryck, the younger, was arranging that a bear who could only sit--who +had been born sitting and stiffened in that position--should ride, in +the procession, on the wide back of an elephant. + +But he stopped the procession at this, set the bear down, and came and +stood opposite his mother, surveying her gravely, with his hands deep +in the pockets of his velvet breeches. She sat on the floor beside the +sofa, her lovely head thrown back against a cushion, looking up at him +with eyes full of love and almost wistful tenderness. + +His little face at first was rather hard and stern, but, as he looked +at her, it softened. Her ignorance of Noah's domestic arrangements +seemed to matter less. She was so-lovely that it seemed unreasonable to +expect her to be other things! + +"You are not much use at answering questions, darling, are you?" he +said gravely. "I must let the point stand over until father comes +home. You see, you never seem to know about anything you have not done +yourself." + +[Illustration: "YOU ARE NOT MUCH USE AT ANSWERING QUESTIONS, DARLING, +ARE YOU?"] + +"Dicky, you are not kind to poor mummie," protested Flower, piteously. +"No one could _possibly_ know what Noah did to the animals in the Ark +when the large ones trod upon the small ones, or how the elephant was +kept from stepping on the grasshopper." + +"An average person would know," Dicky insisted coldly. + +"Dicky, you are most unkind! You imply that I am stupid." + +"I am afraid you are, darling," said the quiet little voice, and then, +in a sudden burst of admiration, "But you are _much_ too lovely for it +to matter." And the miniature edition of the doctor fell upon her and +clasped her in his arms. + +"We must say our text to you, mother, as father is away," Dicky +remarked a few minutes later, when bedtime came. + +Flower assented without enthusiasm. She did not approve of nurse's plan +of teaching the children a daily text, and always wondered why Deryck +encouraged it. But she did not wish again to present herself to her +little son's mind in a disappointing light. + +Dicky arranged Baby Blossom "in a row" with himself. She immediately +began to say, "Do it--do it!" and had to be sternly hushed by her +brother. Then, with his hands behind him and his head erect, Dicky +announced impressively: + +"Jesus said: 'If you shall ask anythink in my name, I will'--now, +baby--" + +"Do it!" chirped Baby Blossom. + +"Very nice," commented Flower, perfunctorily. + +Baby Blossom, her duty done, took a header into the soft sofa-cushion, +shrieking with delight and waving her plump little legs in the air. +Deryck, though deserted, kept his place in the "row." He had not yet +finished with the text. + +"Do you consider it true, mother?" he questioned, and his dark eyes +searched her face. + +"Why--well--yes, dear, I suppose so," answered Flower, vaguely. "Baby, +take care! You will break your neck!" + +"What does 'anythink' mean?" inquired Dicky. + +"You should not say '_anythink_'; it is any_thing_." + +"It is _anythink_ in nurse's Bible," asserted Dicky, "and I suppose it +means all that comes into your head. Anything you can think of." + +"I believe," said Flower, with a sudden inspiration, "that it merely +refers to the religious experience of the apostles." + +"Goodness," said Dicky, in nurse's best manner when arguing with +Marsdon, "then why don't it say so?" Adding, almost immediately, in his +own quiet, rather sad, little voice, "And what good is it to us then, +mummie?" + +"None whatever," replied Flower, with decision, rising from the floor +and hugging baby. She felt she was scoring now and reasserting her +mental superiority. "That is why I object to people teaching such words +to children," she remarked from among Blossom's curls. + +The small Deryck was silent. He stood very erect and gave a sharp pull +to the front of his little white waist-coat, swallowing hard, as if +something had hurt him. Flower felt slightly uncomfortable at being +thus suddenly left with the last word. Dicky was so very masculine, and +she was not at all sure of her own theology. + +The silence, growing strained, was relieved by the advent of nurse, who +carried off Baby Blossom and bade Dicky make haste and say good-night +to his mamma and come along. He turned to her gravely. "Good-night, +mother," he said. + +Flower embraced him effusively and suggested a visit to the Zoo, now +the warm weather was coming. Dicky allowed himself to be kissed, but +ignored the remark about the Zoo. + +When he reached the door he turned and looked back bravely. + +"Mother," he said, "I don't know about the 'postles, but I think I +ought to tell you that I have made that text my _h_own. Nurse says you +can always make a text your _h_own if it meets your need. I feel this +meets my need!" + +He held his head bravely, though flinching a little, as if dreading his +mother's scorn or laughter. + +But Flower did not laugh. She looked across the room at the brave +little figure, in blank astonishment. The sincerity of his convictions +reached and convinced her. But what an ignorant old Puritan nurse must +be! At last she smiled at Dicky, reassuringly. + +"That may be true, darling. But my dear little boy, you haven't any +'needs.'" + +"Oh, haven't I!" said Dicky, as one who would say, "That is all _you_ +know!" Then taking hold of the outer handle he drew the door slowly +behind him, turning, before it quite closed, to fling back over his +shoulder, "I need an entirely new inside to my rabbit." + +Left alone another remark of Dicky's returned to Flower's mind and +added to her despondency. + +"You never seem to know about anything you have not done yourself," +her little son had said, and this assertion let in a sudden light of +revelation upon her whole mental standpoint. How true it was, how +sickeningly, horribly true! + +What did she know of Deryck's work? Of all the people who came and went +in the rooms below? Of the lectures he gave, or the essays he wrote, +eagerly attended, eagerly read by hundreds? What share had she in the +great interests of her husband's life? Jane had tried to speak of them +more than once, and she had changed the subject. + +And sitting there, deeply convicted by the grave little voice of her +own tiny boy, she remembered times when Deryck had tried to talk to her +of these questions so near his heart--of the methods he had thought out +for curing diseased or weakened wills, for restoring shattered nerves +and unbalanced brains, for giving a new lease of sane and healthy life +to those who now walked fettered in the valley of a shadow worse than +death. And she had taken no interest, had not tried to understand, had +listened without hearing, and, at the first opportunity, talked of her +own trivial doings. Was not an intelligent sympathy with his work, one +of the white roses for which Deryck well might ask? + +Slowly she passed to her bedroom and dressed for the evening's +function, wishing all the while that she need not go, and partook of +an early dinner alone, with her thoughts far away. Now it was eight +o'clock, and she sat in her boudoir waiting until it should be time to +be whirled through the noisy, lighted streets, to join the gay throng +at Myra's crush. + +Oh, how different to have walked on the pier with him, nestling into +her furs, enjoying the cold night air and salty smell of brine and +seaweed! And then to have returned to their warm, bright room, Deryck, +pleased as any schoolboy, to have her away without her maid, amusing +her by his delightful attempts to take Marsdon's place and assist at +her toilet. + +The fire, which had received so much unconscious attention from the +baby's godmother that morning, fell together in the grate, signifying +its need of coal. The doctor's wife rose and ministered to it, then +knelt on the hearthrug and watched the brightening flame. Her mind had +gone forward in its contemplation of that evening which might have +been. Her eyes were soft and tender. Her sweet lips parted gently. Her +hair gleamed golden in the firelight. + +How wonderful was his love! Jane was right when she said, "He will +always be a boy where he loves. He is so young in heart, so eternally, +passionately young." How did Jane guess it? Only she, his wife, could +_know_ it to be true. + +Seven years of married life had only added to the wonder and romance +of Deryck's love. Each time he took her away with him was like a fresh +honeymoon, more perfect than the last. Why did she forget when she +came home, how sweet it was to be away with him? Why had she defrauded +herself and him of the perfect hours which might have been theirs this +day? Why had she failed him in his time of need? + +Oh, selfish! shallow! self-absorbed! Loving to _be_ loved, not rising +to the joy of loving. Taking his care and thought and adoration as her +due, giving no tender service in return. She bowed her head upon her +arms. + +"Oh, Boy," she said, "not Jane's, but _mine!_ Oh, Boy, it shall be +different! You will come back to find a wife who understands, a wife +whose hands are filled with roses white, ready to give them now." + +The doorbell sounded. She rose and wrapped her cloak about her. She had +little inclination for Myra's party, but he would be thinking of her +there, and anywhere would do to pass the hours till his return. + +Stoddart brought in a telegram, retired softly, and closed the +door. She looked at it with a sudden thrill of comprehending joy. A +good-night message from Deryck? He nearly always sent her one. Ah, if +she had remembered to do the same for him! She glanced at the clock. +Twenty minutes past eight. Too late to get one through. + +She slipped off her cloak and sank into an easy-chair, holding the +unopened message in her hand. She wished to realize to the full the +newness of what it meant to receive words from him. Then, when her +heart was ready, she opened the orange envelope gently and drew out the +folded paper. + +It seemed a long message. She read it through once. She read it through +again. Then she sat quite still and listened to the ticking of the +clock. Then she looked at it again and heard a frightened voice, not +unlike her own, reading it aloud: + + + _From the Commissioner of Police, Brighton._ + + _Regret to announce Dr. Deryck Brand knocked down by motor-car corner + King's Road. Killed instantly. Wire instructions._ + + +She rose and walked to the door. It opened as she reached it, and +Stoddart stood there saying the brougham waited. She waved him aside. + +"I shall not want it to-night, thank you." + +Passing into her room, she closed the door. The electric light over her +dressing-table shone brightly. She switched it off. Then, in the utter +darkness, she felt her way to the empty bed, his bed and hers, laid +down the telegram upon it, and stood quite still. + +"O God," she whispered, "help me to think.... I am not clever. My +little boy thinks me stupid, and my big boy thinks me lovely; but Thou +knowest my loveliness seems to me but filthy rags. But now, in my hour +of need, oh, merciful God, let me think! There is something I want to +remember. Ah!" she almost shrieked, "the wheels of time! the wheels of +time! Never move backwards, they say; always forwards--always forwards. +And that is why it is too late. O God, too late, too late! My roses +ready--ready for him; but too late.... What did the children say: +'If ye shall ask anything in my name, I will do it.' And Dicky says +anything means anything we need. God in heaven! I need the wheels of +time to move back six hours, that I may go with him." + +She flung herself upon her knees beside the bed. + +"O God, O God, in Jesus' name, put back the wheels of time, that I may +go with him!" + +She shrieked, then crammed the quilt into her mouth, lest they should +hear and find her there. + +"O God, O God--in Jesus' name--the wheels of time--back--back--that I +may go with him!" + +She tore down her lovely hair and wound it round her hands. The pain +kept her from swooning, helped her to think. + +"O God in heaven, in Jesus' name--put back the wheels of time--that +I may go with him. If ye shall ask _anything_--'anything' _means_ +anything, Dicky; not mere religious experiences, but anything we want. +O God, I want another chance! Back--back--that I may go with him!" + +Then she knelt very still, deathly still, while her heart thundered +in her ears and the room rocked to and fro. But she clung to the +bedclothes and knelt on. + +The street door banged. She heard a step come up the stairs. + +She cried again: "O God, O God--the wheels of time--back--back!" + +The door opened and closed. Someone stood just within, breathing +quickly, listening intently. + +Then the doctor's voice said: "In the dark, my darling? Why, what is +the matter?" And the room flashed into light. + +"O God," she said, "O God! The wheels of time--turned back--that I--may +go--with him!" + +His arms were round her, he had lifted her bodily and placed her on +the bed. His face was shocked and startled. He unwound the lovely hair +from the clenched hands and noted how much of it fell away in scattered +wisps to the floor. He wiped the blood from those sweet lips, bitten +through. Then he knelt down, gathered her to his heart, and spoke very +gently. + +"Flower, my Flower! Something has frightened you. You have had a +shock. But it is all right, now, my heart's dearest. I have come back +to you. Listen, beloved. I was so pleased, because I got through the +consultation earlier than I thought, and found, if I made a dash for +it, I could just catch the fast train up. I dined on board--listen, +Flower! Don't keep on whispering, child. Never mind the wheels of time. +Listen to me! I meant to hurry home and dress, and give you a surprise +by turning up at Myra's. But then I felt too chilled, and determined +I must stay at home and have a brew of gruel. Some other chap, in a +hurry--a doctor who left before me--went off with my overcoat, and I +had to turn out without one. No time to make inquiries. Such a cold +fellow has come back to his little girl. Won't she see about warming +him?" + +The gay voice ceased. The set face bent over her. The quick +professional eye noted each rigid muscle of that poor agonized face. He +laid his lips on hers, with one broken sob. + +"Oh, my beloved! For God's sake--" + +Then Flower lifted up her hand and pointed to the foot of the bed. He +looked and saw the open telegram. Reaching with one long arm, he took +it up and read it. + +"Good heavens!" he said. "Run down and killed! The poor chap who took +my coat. My pocketbook was in it, and a bundle of letters." Then he +bent over his wife once more, and whispered in a tone of awed wonder: + +"Oh, Flower! _You cared like this?_" + +And the wonder in his voice, the almost boyish surprise, saved Flower. + +She turned her face to his breast and wept and wept; wept herself to +calmness, and sobbed herself back into the haven of his love, the +earthly Paradise of her heart's peace. + +[Illustration: "OH, FLOWER! YOU CARED LIKE THIS?"] + +When at last she found speech possible, she said, "If I had gone--" + +"Hush, my perfect one," the doctor said. "You were quite right." But +she laid her hand over his mouth, with a swift, silencing gesture, then +took his hand and kissed it, with infinite humility and tenderness. + +"Deryck," she said, "it is _your_ love which has been perfect. I have +been quite wrong. But God in His infinite mercy has heard my prayer and +given me another chance. Oh, my beloved, I have but a poor white rose +to offer you--a crushed and faded thing; but it is all your own. Give +me another chance--oh, Deryck--a chance to _serve_. It is all I ask, it +is all I want--to serve; because now, indeed, I truly love." + +Then the doctor knew that at last life held for him all that his heart +had craved through hungry years. + +"Mary," he said, "oh, Mary!" + +He dropped his head upon her breast, in sudden silence, and her white +hands, like roses, clasped it softly, and lay upon the darkness of his +hair. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Wheels of Time, by Florence Louisa Barclay + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 56965 *** |