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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of They Call Me Carpenter, by Upton Sinclair
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: They Call Me Carpenter
+
+Author: Upton Sinclair
+
+
+Release Date: May, 2004 [EBook #5774]
+This file was first posted on September 1, 2002
+Last updated: April 28, 2013
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THEY CALL ME CARPENTER ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Charles Aldarondo, Charles Franks and the
+Online Distributed Proofreading Team
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+THEY CALL ME CARPENTER
+
+A Tale of the Second Coming
+
+
+By Upton Sinclair
+
+New York
+
+1922
+
+
+
+To
+
+Charles F. Nevens
+
+True and devoted friend
+
+
+
+I
+
+
+The beginning of this strange adventure was my going to see a motion
+picture which had been made in Germany. It was three years after the
+end of the war, and you'd have thought that the people of Western
+City would have got over their war-phobias. But apparently they
+hadn't; anyway, there was a mob to keep anyone from getting into the
+theatre, and all the other mobs started from that. Before I tell
+about it, I must introduce Dr. Karl Henner, the well-known literary
+critic from Berlin, who was travelling in this country, and stopped
+off in Western City at that time. Dr. Henner was the cause of my
+going to see the picture, and if you will have a moment's patience,
+you will see how the ideas which he put into my head served to start
+me on my extraordinary adventure.
+
+You may not know much about these cultured foreigners. Their manners
+are like softest velvet, so that when you talk to them, you feel as
+a Persian cat must feel while being stroked. They have read
+everything in the world; they speak with quiet certainty; and they
+are so old--old with memories of racial griefs stored up in their
+souls. I, who know myself for a member of the best clubs in Western
+City, and of the best college fraternity in the country--I found
+myself suddenly indisposed to mention that I had helped to win the
+battle of the Argonne. This foreign visitor asked me how I felt
+about the war, and I told him that it was over, and I bore no hard
+feelings, but of course I was glad that Prussian militarism was
+finished. He answered: "A painful operation, and we all hope that
+the patient may survive it; also we hope that the surgeon has not
+contracted the disease." Just as quietly as that.
+
+Of course I asked Dr. Henner what he thought about America. His
+answer was that we had succeeded in producing the material means of
+civilization by the ton, where other nations had produced them by
+the pound. "We intellectuals in Europe have always been poor, by
+your standards over here. We have to make a very little food support
+a great many ideas. But you have unlimited quantities of food,
+and--well, we seek for the ideas, and we judge by analogy they must
+exist--"
+
+"But you don't find them?" I laughed.
+
+"Well," said he, "I have come to seek them."
+
+This talk occurred while we were strolling down our Broadway, in
+Western City, one bright afternoon in the late fall of 1921. We
+talked about the picture which Dr. Henner had recommended to me, and
+which we were now going to see. It was called "The Cabinet of Dr.
+Caligari," and was a "futurist" production, a strange, weird freak
+of the cinema art, supposed to be the nightmare of a madman. "Being
+an American," said Dr. Henner, "you will find yourself asking, 'What
+good does such a picture do?' You will have the idea that every work
+of art must serve some moral purpose." After a pause, he added:
+"This picture could not possibly have been produced in America. For
+one thing, nearly all the characters are thin." He said it with the
+flicker of a smile--"One does not find American screen actors in
+that condition. Do your people care enough about the life of art to
+take a risk of starving for it?"
+
+Now, as a matter of fact, we had at that time several millions of
+people out of work in America, and many of them starving. There must
+be some intellectuals among them, I suggested; and the critic
+replied: "They must have starved for so long that they have got used
+to it, and can enjoy it--or at any rate can enjoy turning it into
+art. Is not that the final test of great art, that it has been
+smelted in the fires of suffering? All the great spiritual movements
+of humanity began in that way; take primitive Christianity, for
+example. But you Americans have taken Christ, the carpenter--"
+
+I laughed. It happened that at this moment we were passing St.
+Bartholomew's Church, a great brown-stone structure standing at the
+corner of the park. I waved my hand towards it. "In there," I said,
+"over the altar, you may see Christ, the carpenter, dressed up in
+exquisite robes of white and amethyst, set up as a stained glass
+window ornament. But if you'll stop and think, you'll realize it
+wasn't we Americans who began that!"
+
+"No," said the other, returning my laugh, "but I think it was you
+who finished him up as a symbol of elegance, a divinity of the
+respectable inane."
+
+Thus chatting, we turned the corner, and came in sight of our goal,
+the Excelsior Theatre. And there was the mob!
+
+
+
+II
+
+
+At first, when I saw the mass of people, I thought it was the usual
+picture crowd. I said, with a smile, "Can it be that the American
+people are not so dead to art after all?" But then I observed that
+the crowd seemed to be swaying this way and that; also there seemed
+to be a great many men in army uniforms. "Hello!" I exclaimed. "A
+row?"
+
+There was a clamor of shouting; the army men seemed to be pulling
+and pushing the civilians. When we got nearer, I asked of a
+bystander, "What's up?" The answer was: "They don't want 'em to go
+in to see the picture."
+
+"Why not?"
+
+"It's German. Hun propaganda!"
+
+Now you must understand, I had helped to win a war, and no man gets
+over such an experience at once. I had a flash of suspicion, and
+glanced at my companion, the cultured literary critic from Berlin.
+Could it possibly be that this smooth-spoken gentleman was playing a
+trick upon me--trying, possibly, to get something into my crude
+American mind without my realizing what was happening? But I
+remembered his detailed account of the production, the very essence
+of "art for art's sake." I decided that the war was three years
+over, and I was competent to do my own thinking.
+
+Dr. Henner spoke first. "I think," he said, "it might be wiser if I
+did not try to go in there."
+
+"Absurd!" I cried. "I'm not going to be dictated to by a bunch of
+imbeciles!"
+
+"No," said the other, "you are an American, and don't have to be.
+But I am a German, and I must learn."
+
+I noted the flash of bitterness, but did not resent it. "That's all
+nonsense, Dr. Henner!" I argued. "You are my guest, and I won't--"
+
+"Listen, my friend," said the other. "You can doubtless get by
+without trouble; but I would surely rouse their anger, and I have no
+mind to be beaten for nothing. I have seen the picture several
+times, and can talk about it with you just as well."
+
+"You make me ashamed of myself," I cried--"and of my country!"
+
+"No, no! It is what you should expect. It is what I had in mind when
+I spoke of the surgeon contracting the disease. We German
+intellectuals know what war means; we are used to things like this."
+Suddenly he put out his hand. "Good-bye."
+
+"I will go with you!" I exclaimed. But he protested--that would
+embarrass him greatly. I would please to stay, and see the picture;
+he would be interested later on to hear my opinion of it. And
+abruptly he turned, and walked off, leaving me hesitating and angry.
+
+At last I started towards the entrance of the theatre. One of the
+men in uniform barred my way. "No admittance here!"
+
+"But why not?"
+
+"It's a German show, and we aint a-goin' to allow it."
+
+"Now see here, buddy," I countered, none too good-naturedly, "I
+haven't got my uniform on, but I've as good a right to it as you; I
+was all through the Argonne."
+
+"Well, what do you want to see Hun propaganda for?"
+
+"Maybe I want to see what it's like."
+
+"Well, you can't go in; we're here to shut up this show!"
+
+I had stepped to one side as I spoke, and he caught me by the arm. I
+thought there had been talk enough, and gave a sudden lurch, and
+tore my arm free. "Hold on here!" he shouted, and tried to stop me
+again; but I sprang through the crowd towards the box-office. There
+were more than a hundred civilians in or about the lobby, and not
+more than twenty or thirty ex-service men maintaining the blockade;
+so a few got by, and I was one of the lucky ones. I bought my
+ticket, and entered the theatre. To the man at the door I said: "Who
+started this?"
+
+"I don't know, sir. It's just landed on us, and we haven't had time
+to find out."
+
+"Is the picture German propaganda?"
+
+"Nothing like that at all, sir. They say they won't let us show
+German pictures, because they're so much cheaper; they'll put
+American-made pictures out of business, and it's unfair
+competition."
+
+"Oh!" I exclaimed, and light began to dawn. I recalled Dr. Henner's
+remark about producing a great many ideas out of a very little food;
+assuredly, the American picture industry had cause to fear
+competition of that sort! I thought of old "T-S," as the screen
+people call him for short--the king of the movie world, with his
+roll of fat hanging over his collar, and his two or three extra
+chins! I though of Mary Magna, million dollar queen of the pictures,
+contriving diets and exercises for herself, and weighing with fear
+and trembling every day!
+
+
+
+III
+
+
+It was time for the picture to begin, so I smoothed my coat, and
+went to a seat, and was one of perhaps two dozen spectators before
+whom "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" received its first public showing
+in Western City. The story had to do with a series of murders; we
+saw them traced by a young man, and fastened bit by bit upon an old
+magician and doctor. As the drama neared its climax, we discovered
+this doctor to be the head of an asylum for the insane, and the
+young man to be one of the inmates; so in the end the series of
+adventures was revealed to us as the imaginings of a madman about
+his physician and keepers. The settings and scenery were in the
+style of "futurist" art--weird and highly effective. I saw it all in
+the light of Dr. Henner's interpretation, the product of an old,
+perhaps an overripe culture. Certainly no such picture could have
+been produced in America! If I had to choose between this and the
+luxurious sex-stuff of Mary Magna--well, I wondered. At least, I had
+been interested in every moment of "Dr. Caligari," and I was only
+interested in Mary off the screen. Several times every year I had to
+choose between mortally hurting her feelings, and watching her
+elaborate "vamping" through eight or ten costly reels.
+
+I had read many stories and seen a great many plays, in which the
+hero wakes up in the end, and we realize that we have been watching
+a dream. I remembered "Midsummer Night's Dream," and also "Looking
+Backward." An old, old device of art; and yet always effective, one
+of the most effective! But this was the first time I had ever been
+taken into the dreams of a lunatic. Yes, it was interesting, there
+was no denying it; grisly stuff, but alive, and marvelously well
+acted. How Edgar Allen Poe would have revelled in it! So thinking, I
+walked towards the exit of the theatre, and a swinging door gave
+way--and upon my ear broke a clamor that might have come direct from
+the inside of Dr. Caligari's asylum. "Ya, ya. Boo, boo! German
+propaganda! Pay your money to the Huns! For shame on you! Leave your
+own people to starve, and send your cash to the enemy."
+
+I stopped still, and whispered to myself, "My God!" During all the
+time--an hour or more--that I had been away on the wings of
+imagination, these poor boobs had been howling and whooping outside
+the theatre, keeping the crowds away, and incidentally working
+themselves into a fury! For a moment I thought I would go out and
+reason with them; they were mistaken in the idea that there was
+anything about the war, anything against America in the picture. But
+I realized that they were beyond reason. There was nothing to do but
+go my way and let them rave.
+
+But quickly I saw that this was not going to be so easy as I had
+fancied. Right in front of the entrance stood the big fellow who had
+caught my arm; and as I came toward him I saw that he had me marked.
+He pointed a finger into my face, shouting in a fog-horn voice:
+"There's a traitor! Says he was in the service, and now he's backing
+the Huns!"
+
+I tried to have nothing to do with him, but he got me by the arm,
+and others were around me. "Yein, yein, yein!" they shouted into my
+ear; and as I tried to make my way through, they began to hustle me.
+"I'll shove your face in, you damned Hun!"--a continual string of
+such abuse; and I had been in the service, and seen fighting!
+
+I never tried harder to avoid trouble; I wanted to get away, but
+that big fellow stuck his feet between mine and tripped me, he
+lunged and shoved me into the gutter, and so, of course, I made to
+hit him. But they had me helpless; I had no more than clenched my
+fist and drawn back my arm, when I received a violent blow on the
+side of my jaw. I never knew what hit me, a fist or a weapon. I only
+felt the crash, and a sensation of reeling, and a series of blows
+and kicks like a storm about me.
+
+I ask you to believe that I did not run away in the Argonne. I did
+my job, and got my wound, and my honorable record. But there I had a
+fighting chance, and here I had none; and maybe I was dazed, and it
+was the instinctive reaction of my tormented body--anyhow, I ran. I
+staggered along, with the blows and kicks to keep me moving. And
+then I saw half a dozen broad steps, and a big open doorway; I fled
+that way, and found myself in a dark, cool place, reeling like a
+drunken man, but no longer beaten, and apparently no longer pursued.
+I was falling, and there was something nearby, and I caught at it,
+and sank down upon a sort of wooden bench.
+
+
+
+IV
+
+
+I had run into St. Bartholomew's Church; and when I came to--I fear
+I cut a pitiful figure, but I have to tell the truth--I was crying.
+I don't think the pain of my head and face had anything to do with
+it, I think it was rage and humiliation; my sense of outrage, that
+I, who had helped to win a war, should have been made to run from a
+gang of cowardly rowdies. Anyhow, here I was, sunk down in a pew of
+the church, sobbing as if my heart was broken.
+
+At last I raised my head, and holding on to the pew in front, looked
+about me. The church was apparently deserted. There were dark
+vistas; and directly in front of me a gleaming altar, and high over
+it a stained glass window, with the afternoon sun shining through.
+You know, of course, the sort of figures they have in those windows;
+a man in long robes, white, with purple and gold; with a brown
+beard, and a gentle, sad face, and a halo of light about the head. I
+was staring at the figure, and at the same time choking with rage
+and pain, but clenching my hands, and making up my mind to go out
+and follow those brutes, and get that big one alone and pound his
+face to a jelly. And here begins the strange part of my adventure;
+suddenly that shining figure stretched out its two arms to me, as if
+imploring me not to think those vengeful thoughts!
+
+I knew, of course, what it meant; I had just seen a play about
+delirium, and had got a whack on the head, and now I was delirious
+myself. I thought I must be badly hurt; I bowed my reeling head in
+my arms, and began to sob like a kid, out loud, and without shame.
+But somehow I forgot about the big brute, and his face that I wanted
+to pound; instead, I was ashamed and bewildered, a queer hysterical
+state with a half dozen emotions mixed up. The Caligari story was in
+it, and the lunatic asylum; I've got a cracked skull, I thought, and
+my mind will never get right again! I sat, huddled and shuddering;
+until suddenly I felt a quiet hand on my shoulder, and heard a
+gentle voice saying: "Don't be afraid. It is I."
+
+Now, I shall waste no time telling you how amazed I was. It was a
+long time before I could believe what was happening to me; I thought
+I was clean off my head. I lifted my eyes, and there, in the aisle
+of the most decorous church of St. Bartholomew, standing with his
+hand on my head, was the figure out of the stained glass window! I
+looked at him twice, and then I looked at the window. Where the
+figure had been was a great big hole with the sun shining through!
+
+We know the power of suggestion, and especially when one taps the
+deeps of the unconscious, where our childhood memories are buried. I
+had been brought up in a religious family, and so it seemed quite
+natural to me that while that hand lay on my head, the throbbing and
+whirling should cease, and likewise the fear. I became perfectly
+quiet, and content to sit under the friendly spell. "Why were you
+crying?" asked the voice, at last.
+
+I answered, hesitatingly, "I think it was humiliation."
+
+"Is it something you have done?"
+
+"No. Something that was done to me."
+
+"But how can a man be humiliated by the act of another?"
+
+I saw what he meant; and I was not humiliated any more.
+
+The stranger spoke again. "A mob," he said, "is a blind thing, worse
+than madness. It is the beast in man running away with his master."
+
+I thought to myself: how can he know what has happened to me? But
+then I reflected, perhaps he saw them drive me into the church! I
+found myself with a sudden, queer impulse to apologize for those
+soldier boys. "We had some terrible fighting," I cried. "And you
+know what wars do--to the minds of the people, I mean."
+
+"Yes," said the stranger, "I know, only too well."
+
+I had meant to explain this mob; but somehow, I decided that I could
+not. How could I make him understand moving picture shows, and
+German competition, and ex-service men out of jobs? There was a
+pause, and he asked, "Can you stand up?"
+
+I tried and found that I could. I felt the side of my jaw, and it
+hurt, but somehow the pain seemed apart from myself. I could see
+clearly and steadily; there were only two things wrong that I could
+find--first, this stranger standing by my side, and second, that
+hole in the window, where I had seen him standing so many Sunday
+mornings!
+
+"Are you going out now?" he asked. As I hesitated, he added,
+tactfully, "Perhaps you would let me go with you?"
+
+Here was indeed a startling proposition! His costume, his long
+hair--there were many things about him not adapted to Broadway at
+five o'clock in the afternoon! But what could I say? It would be
+rude to call attention to his peculiarities. All I could manage was
+to stammer: "I thought you belonged in the church."
+
+"Do I?" he replied, with a puzzled look. "I'm not sure. I have been
+wondering--am I really needed here? And am I not more needed in the
+world?"
+
+"Well," said I, "there's one thing certain." I pointed up to the
+window. "That hole is conspicuous."
+
+"Yes, that is true."
+
+"And if it should rain, the altar would be ruined. The Reverend Dr.
+Lettuce-Spray would be dreadfully distressed. That altar cloth was
+left to the church in the will of Mrs. Elvina de Wiggs, and God
+knows how many thousands of dollars it cost."
+
+"I suppose that wouldn't do," said the stranger. "Let us see if we
+can't find something to put there."
+
+He started up the aisle, and through the chancel. I followed, and we
+came into the vestry-room, and there on the wall I noticed a full
+length, life-sized portrait of old Algernon de Wiggs, president of
+the Empire National Bank, and of the Western City Chamber of
+Commerce. "Let us see if he would fill the place," said the
+stranger; and to my amazement he drew up a chair, and took down the
+huge picture, and carried it, seemingly without effort, into the
+church.
+
+He stepped upon the altar, and lifted the portrait in front of the
+window. How he got it to stay there I am not sure--I was too much
+taken aback by the procedure to notice such details. There the
+picture was; it seemed to fit the window exactly, and the effect was
+simply colossal. You'd have to know old de Wiggs to appreciate
+it--those round, puffy cheeks, with the afternoon sun behind them,
+making them shine like two enormous Jonathan apples! Our leading
+banker was clad in decorous black, as always on Sunday mornings, but
+in one place the sun penetrated his form--at one side of his chest.
+My curiosity got the better of me; I could not restrain the
+question, "What is that golden light?"
+
+Said the stranger: "I think that is his heart."
+
+"But that can't be!" I argued. "The light is on his right side; and
+it seems to have an oblong shape--exactly as if it were his
+wallet."
+
+Said the other: "Where the treasure is, there will the heart be
+also."
+
+
+
+VI
+
+
+We passed out through the arched doorway, and Broadway was before
+us. I had another thrill of distress--a vision of myself walking
+down this crowded street with this extraordinary looking personage.
+The crowds would stare at us, the street urchins would swarm about
+us, until we blocked the traffic and the police ran us in! So I
+thought, as we descended the steps and started; but my fear passed,
+for we walked and no one followed us--hardly did anyone even turn
+his eyes after us.
+
+I realized in a little while how this could be. The pleasant climate
+of Western City brings strange visitors to dwell here; we have
+Hindoo swamis in yellow silk, and a Theosophist college on a
+hill-top, and people who take up with "nature," and go about with
+sandals and bare legs, and a mane of hair over their shoulders. I
+pass them on the street now and then--one of them carries a
+shepherd's crook! I remember how, a few years ago, my Aunt Caroline,
+rambling around looking for something to satisfy her emotions, took
+up with these queer ideas, and there came to her front door, to the
+infinite bewilderment of the butler, a mild-eyed prophet in pastoral
+robes, and with a little newspaper bundle in his hand. This, spread
+out before my aunt, proved to contain three carrots and two onions,
+carefully washed, and shining; they were the kindly fruits of the
+earth, and of the prophet's own labor, and my old auntie was deeply
+touched, because it appeared that this visitor was a seer, the sole
+composer of a mighty tome which is to be found in the public
+library, and is known as the "Eternal Bible."
+
+So here I was, strolling along quite as a matter of course with my
+strange acquaintance. I saw that he was looking about, and I
+prepared for questions, and wondered what they would be. I thought
+that he must naturally be struck by such wonders as automobiles and
+crowded street-cars. I failed to realize that he would be thinking
+about the souls of the people.
+
+Said he, at last: "This is a large city?"
+
+"About half a million."
+
+"And what quarter are we in?"
+
+"The shopping district."
+
+"Is it a segregated district?"
+
+"Segregated? In what way?"
+
+"Apparently there are only courtesans."
+
+I could not help laughing. "You are misled by the peculiarities of
+our feminine fashions--details with which you are naturally not
+familiar--"
+
+"Oh, quite the contrary," said he, "I am only too familiar with
+them. In childhood I learned the words of the prophet: 'Because the
+daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks
+and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a
+tinkling with their feet; therefore the Lord will smite with a scab
+the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the Lord will
+discover their secret parts. In that day the Lord will take away the
+bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their
+cauls, and their round tires like the moon, the chains, and the
+bracelets, and the mufflers, the bonnets, and the ornaments of the
+legs, and the headbands, and the tablets, and the earrings, and nose
+jewels, the changeable suits of apparel, and the mantles, and the
+wimples, and the crisping pins, the glasses, and the fine linen, and
+the hoods, and the veils. And it shall come to pass that instead of
+sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent;
+and instead of well set hair, baldness; and instead of a stomacher a
+girding of sackcloth; and burning instead of beauty.'"
+
+From the point of view of literature this might be great stuff; but
+on the corner of Broadway and Fifth Street at the crowded hours it
+was unusual, to say the least. My companion was entering into the
+spirit of it in a most alarming way; he was half chanting, his voice
+rising, his face lighting up. "'Thy men shall fall by the sword, and
+thy mighty in the war. And her gates shall lament and mourn; and she
+being desolate shall sit upon the ground.'"
+
+"Be careful!" I whispered. "People will hear you!"
+
+"But why should they not?" He turned on me a look of surprise. "The
+people hear me gladly." And he added: "The common people."
+
+Here was an aspect of my adventure which had not occurred to me
+before. "My God!" I thought. "If he takes to preaching on street
+corners!" I realized in a flash--it was exactly what he would be up
+to! A panic seized me; I couldn't stand that; I'd have to cut and
+run!
+
+I began to speak quickly. "We must get across this street while we
+have time; the traffic officer has turned the right way now." And I
+began explaining our remarkable system of traffic handling.
+
+But he stopped me in the middle. "Why do we wish to cross the
+street, when we have no place to go?"
+
+"I have a place I wish to take you to," I said; "a friend I want you
+to meet. Let us cross." And while I was guiding him between the
+automobiles, I was desperately trying to think how to back up my
+lie. Who was there that would receive this incredible stranger, and
+put him up for the night, and get him into proper clothes, and keep
+him off the soap-box?
+
+Truly, I was in an extraordinary position! What had I done to get
+this stranger wished onto me? And how long was he going to stay with
+me? I found myself recalling the plight of Mary who had a little
+lamb!
+
+Fate had me in its hands, and did not mean to consult me. We had
+gone less than a block further when I heard a voice, "Hello!
+Billy!" I turned. Oh, Lord! Oh, Lord! Of all the thankless
+encounters--Edgerton Rosythe, moving picture critic of the Western
+City "Times." Precisely the most cynical, the most profane, the most
+boisterous person in a cynical and profane and boisterous business!
+And he had me here, in full daylight, with a figure just out of a
+stained glass window in St. Bartholomew's Church!
+
+
+
+VII
+
+
+"Hello, Billy! Who's your good-looking friend?" Rosythe was in full
+sail before a breeze of his own making.
+
+How could I answer. "Why--er--"
+
+The stranger spoke. "They call me Carpenter."
+
+"Ah!" said the critic. "Mr. Carpenter, delighted to meet you." He
+gave the stranger a hearty grip of the hand. "Are you on location?"
+
+"Location?" said the other; and Rosythe shot an arrow of laughter
+towards me. Perhaps he knew about the vagaries of my Aunt Caroline;
+anyhow, he would have a fantastic tale to tell about me, and was
+going to exploit it to the limit!
+
+I made a pitiful attempt to protect my dignity. "Mr. Carpenter has
+just arrived," I began&&
+
+"Just arrived, hey?" said the critic. "Oviparous, viviparous, or
+oviviparous?" He raised his hand; actually, in the glory of his wit,
+he was going to clap the stranger on the shoulder!
+
+But his hand stayed in the air. Such a look as came on Carpenter's
+face! "Hush!" he commanded. "Be silent!" And then: "Any man will
+join in laughter; but who will join in disease?"
+
+"Hey?" said Rosythe; and it was my turn to grin.
+
+"Mr. Carpenter has just done me a great service," I explained. "I
+got badly mauled in the mob--"
+
+"Oh!" cried the other. "At the Excelsior Theatre!" Here was
+something to talk about, to cover his bewilderment. "So you were in
+it! I was watching them just now."
+
+"Are they still at it?"
+
+"Sure thing!"
+
+"A fine set of boobs," I began--
+
+"Boobs, nothing!" broke in the other. "What do you suppose they're
+doing?"
+
+"Saving us from Hun propaganda, so they told me."
+
+"The hell of a lot they care about Hun propaganda! They are earning
+five dollars a head."
+
+"What?"
+
+"Sure as you're born!"
+
+"You really know that?"
+
+"Know it? Pete Dailey was at a meeting of the Motion Picture
+Directors' Association last night, and it was arranged to put up the
+money and hire them. They're a lot of studio bums, doing a real mob
+scene on a real location!"
+
+"Well, I'll be damned!" I said. "And what about the police?"
+
+"Police?" laughed the critic. "Would you expect the police to work
+free when the soldiers are paid? Why, Jesus Christ----"
+
+"I beg pardon?" said Carpenter.
+
+"Why--er--" said Rosythe; and stopped, completely bluffed.
+
+"You ought not swear," I remarked, gravely; and then, "I must
+explain. I got pounded by that mob; I was knocked quite silly, and
+this gentleman found me, and healed me in a wonderful way."
+
+"Oh!" said the critic, with genuine interest. "Mind cure, hey? What
+line?"
+
+I was about to reply, but Carpenter, it appeared, was able to take
+care of himself. "The line of love," he answered, gently.
+
+"See here, Rosythe," I broke in, "I can't stand on the street. I'm
+beginning to feel seedy again. I think I'll have a taxi."
+
+"No," said the critic. "Come with me. I'm on the way to pick up the
+missus. Right around the corner--a fine place to rest." And without
+further ado he took me by the arm and led me along. He was a
+good-hearted chap inside; his rowdyisms were just the weapons of his
+profession. We went into an office building, and entered an
+elevator. I did not know the building, or the offices we came to.
+Rosythe pushed open a door, and I saw before me a spacious parlor,
+with birds of paradise of the female sex lounging in upholstered
+chairs. I was led to a vast plush sofa, and sank into it with a sigh
+of relief.
+
+The stranger stood beside me, and put his hand on my head once more.
+It was truly a miracle, how the whirling and roaring ceased, and
+peace came back to me; it must have shown in my face, for the moving
+picture critic of the Western City "Times" stood watching me with a
+quizzical smile playing over his face. I could read his thoughts, as
+well as if he had uttered them: "Regular Svengali stuff, by God!"
+
+
+
+VIII
+
+
+I was so comfortable there, I did not care what happened. I closed
+my eyes for a while; then I opened them and gazed lazily about the
+place. I noted that all the birds of paradise were watching
+Carpenter. With one accord their heads had turned, and their eyes
+were riveted upon him. I found myself thinking. "This man will make
+a hit with the ladies!" Like the swamis, with their soft brown
+skins, and their large, dark, cow-like eyes!
+
+There had been silence in the place. But suddenly we all heard a
+moan; I felt Carpenter start, and his hand left my head. A dozen
+doors gave into this big parlor--all of them closed. We perceived
+that the sound came through the door nearest to us. "What is it?" I
+asked, of Rosythe.
+
+"God knows," said he; "you never can tell, in this place of
+torment."
+
+I was about to ask, "What sort of place is it?" But the moan came
+again, louder, more long drawn out: "O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh!" It ended
+in a sort of explosion, as if the maker of it had burst.
+
+Carpenter turned, and took two steps towards the door; then he
+stopped, hesitating. My eyes followed him, and then turned to the
+critic, who was watching Carpenter, with a broad grin on his face.
+Evidently Rosythe was going to have some fun, and get his revenge!
+
+The sound came again--louder, more harrowing. It came at regular
+intervals, and each time with the explosion at the end. I watched
+Carpenter, and he was like a high-spirited horse that hears the
+cracking of a whip over his head. The creature becomes more
+restless, he starts more quickly and jumps farther at each sound.
+But he is puzzled; he does not know what these lashes mean, or which
+way he ought to run.
+
+Carpenter looked from one to another of us, searching our faces. He
+looked at the birds of paradise in the lounging chairs. Not one of
+them moved a muscle--save only those muscles which caused their eyes
+to follow him. It was no concern of theirs, this agony, whatever it
+was. Yet, plainly, it was the sound of a woman in torment:
+"O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh!"
+
+Carpenter wanted to open that door. His hand would start towards it;
+then he would turn away. Between the two impulses he was presently
+pacing the room; and since there was no one who appeared to have any
+interest in what he might say, he began muttering to himself. I
+would catch a phrase: "The fate of woman!" And again: "The price of
+life!" I would hear the terrible, explosive wail:
+
+"O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh!" And it would wring a cry out of the depths of
+Carpenter's soul: "Oh, have mercy!"
+
+In the beginning, the moving picture critic of the Western City
+"Times" had made some effort to restrain his amusement. But as this
+performance went on, his face became one enormous, wide-spreading
+grin; and you can understand, that made him seem quite devilish. I
+saw that Carpenter was more and more goaded by it. He would look at
+Rosythe, and then he would turn away in aversion. But at last he
+made an effort to conquer his feelings, and went up to the critic,
+and said, gently: "My friend: for every man who lives on earth, some
+woman has paid the price of life."
+
+"The price of life?" repeated the critic, puzzled.
+
+Carpenter waved his hand towards the door. "We confront this
+everlasting mystery, this everlasting terror; and it is not becoming
+that you should mock."
+
+The grin faded from the other's face. His brows wrinkled, and he
+said: "I don't get you, friend. What can a man do?"
+
+"At least he can bow his heart; he can pay his tribute to
+womanhood."
+
+"You're too much for me," responded Rosythe. "The imbeciles choose
+to go through with it; it's their own choice."
+
+Said Carpenter: "You have never thought of it as the choice of God?"
+
+"Holy smoke!" exclaimed the critic. "I sure never did!"
+
+At that moment one of the doors was opened. Rosythe turned his eyes.
+"Ah, Madame Planchet!" he cried. "Come tell us about it!"
+
+
+
+IX
+
+
+A stoutish woman out of a Paris fashion-plate came trotting across
+the room, smiling in welcome: "Meester Rosythe!" She had black
+earrings flapping from each ear, and her face was white, with a
+streak of scarlet for lips. She took the critic by his two hands,
+and the critic, laughing, said: "Respondez, Madame! Does God bring
+the ladies to this place?"
+
+"Ah, surely, Meester Rosythe! The god of beautee, he breengs them to
+us! And the leetle god with the golden arrow, the rosy cheeks and
+the leetle dimple--the dimple that we make heem for two hundred
+dollars a piece--eh, Meester Rosythe? He breengs the ladies to us!"
+
+The critic turned. "Madame Planchet, permit me to introduce Mr.
+Carpenter. He is a man of wonder, he heals pain, and does it by
+means of love."
+
+"Oh, how eenteresting! But what eef love heemself ees pain--who
+shall heal that, eh, Meester Carpentair?"
+
+"O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-h!" came the moan.
+
+Said Rosythe: "Mr. Carpenter thinks you make the ladies suffer too
+much. It worries him."
+
+"Ah, but the ladies do not mind! Pain? What ees eet? The lady who
+makes the groans, she cannot move, and so she ees unhappy. Also, she
+likes to have her own way, she ees a leetle--what you say?--spoilt.
+But her troubles weel pass; she weel be beautiful, and her husband
+weel love her more, and she weel be happy."
+
+"O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh!" from the other room; and Madame Planchet
+prattled away: "I say to them, Make plenty of noises! Eet helps! No
+one weel be afraid, for all here are worshippers of the god of
+beautee--all weel bear the pains that he requires. Eh, Meester
+Carpentair?"
+
+Carpenter was staring at her. I had not before seen such intensity
+of concentration on his face. He was trying to understand this
+situation, so beyond all believing.
+
+"I weel tell you something," said Madame Planchet, lowering her
+voice confidentially. "The lady what you hear--that ees Meeses T-S.
+You know Meester T-S, the magnate of the peectures?"
+
+Carpenter did not say whether he knew or not.
+
+"They come to me always, the peecture people; to me. The magician,
+the deputee of the god of beautee. Polly Pretty, she comes, and
+Dolly Dimple, she comes, and Lucy Love, she comes, and Betty Belle
+Bird. They come to me for the hair, and for the eyes, and for the
+complexion. You are a workair of miracles yourself--but can you do
+what I do? Can you make the skeen all new? Can you make the old
+young?"
+
+"O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh!"
+
+"Mary Magna, she comes to me, and she breengs me her old
+grandmother, and she says, 'Madame,' she says, 'make her new from
+the waist up, for you can nevair tell how the fashions weel change,
+and what she weel need to show.' Ha, ha, ha, she ees wittee, ees the
+lovely Mary! And I take the old lady, and her wrinkles weel be gone,
+and her skeen weel be soft like a leetle baby's, and in her cheeks
+weel be two lovely dimples, and she weel dance with the young boys,
+and they weel not know her from her grandchild--ha, ha, ha!--ees eet
+not the wondair?"
+
+I knew by now where I was. I had heard many times of Madame
+Planchet's beauty-parlors. I sat, wondering; should I take Carpenter
+by the arm, and lead him gently out? Or should I leave him to fight
+his own fight with modern civilization?
+
+"O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh!"
+
+Madame turned suddenly upon me. "I know you, Meester Billee," she
+said. "I have seen you with Mees Magna! Ah, naughtee boy! You have
+the soft, fine hair--you should let it grow--eight inches we have to
+have, and then you can come to me for the permanent wave. So many
+young men come to me for the permanent wave! You know eet? Meester
+Carpentair, you see, he has let hees hair grow, and he has the
+permanent wave--eet could not be bettair eef I had done eet myself.
+I say always, 'My work ees bettair than nature, I tell nature by the
+eemperfections.' Eh, voila?"
+
+I am not sure whether it was for the benefit of me or of Carpenter.
+The deputee of the god of beautee was moved to volunteer a great
+revelation. "Would you like to see how we make eet--the permanent
+wave? I weel show you Messes T-S. But you must not speak--she would
+not like eet if I showed her to gentlemen. But her back ees turned
+and she cannot move. We do not let them see the apparatus, because
+eet ees rather frightful, eet would make them seek. You will be very
+steel, eh?"
+
+"Mum's the word, Madame," said Rosythe, speaking for the three of
+us.
+
+"O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh!" moaned the voice.
+
+"First, I weel tell you," said Madame. "For the complete wave we wind
+the hair in tight leetle coils on many rods. Eet ees very delicate
+operations--every hair must be just so, not one crooked, not one
+must we skeep. Eet takes a long time--two hours for the long hair;
+and eet hurts, because we must pull eet so tight. We wrap each coil
+een damp cloths, and we put them een the contacts, and we turn on
+the eelectreeceetee--and then eet ees many hours that the hair ees
+baked, ees cooked een the proper curves, eh? Now, very steel, eef
+you please!"
+
+And softly she opened the door.
+
+
+
+X
+
+
+Before us loomed what I can only describe as a mountain of red
+female flesh. This flesh-mountain had once apparently been slightly
+covered by embroidered silk lingerie, but this was now soaked in
+moisture and reduced to the texture of wet tissue paper. The top of
+the flesh-mountain ended in an amazing spectacle. It appeared as if
+the head had no hair whatever; but starting from the bare scalp was
+an extraordinary number of thin rods, six inches or so in length.
+These rods stood out in every direction, and being of gleaming
+metal, they gave to the head the aspect of some bright Phoebus
+Apollo, known as the "far-darter;" or shall I say some fierce Maenad
+with electric snakes having nickel-plated skins; or shall I say some
+terrific modern war-god, pouring poison gases from a forest of
+chemical tubes? Over the top of the flesh-mountain was a big metal
+object, a shining concave dome with which all the tubes connected;
+so that a stranger to the procedure could not have felt sure whether
+the mountain was holding up the dome, or was dangling from it. A
+piece of symbolism done by a maniac artist, whose meaning no one
+could fathom!
+
+From the dome there was given heat; so from the pores of the
+flesh-mountain came perspiration. I could not say that I actually
+saw perspiration flowing from any particular pore; it is my
+understanding that pores are small, and do not squirt visible jets.
+What I could say is that I saw little trickles uniting to form
+brooks, and brooks to form rivers, which ran down the sides of the
+flesh-mountain, and mingled in an ocean on the floor.
+
+Also I observed that flesh-mountains when exposed to heat do not
+stand up of their own consistency, but have a tendency to melt and
+flatten; it was necessary that this bulk should be supported, so
+there were three attendants, one securely braced under each armpit,
+and the third with a more precarious grip under the mountain's chin.
+Every thirty seconds or so the heaving, sliding mass would emit one
+of those explosive groans: "O-o-o-o-o-oh!" Then it would collapse,
+an avalanche would threaten to slide, and the living caryatids would
+shove and struggle.
+
+Said Madame Planchet, in her stage-whisper: "The serveece of the
+young god of beautee!" And my fancy took flight. I saw proud vestals
+tending sacred flames on temple-clad islands in blue Grecian seas; I
+saw acolytes waving censers, and grave, bearded priests walking in
+processions crowned with myrtle-wreaths. I wondered if ever since
+the world began, the young god of beautee looking down from his
+crystal throne had beheld a stranger ritual of adoration!
+
+Silently we drew back from the door-way, and Madame closed the door,
+reducing the promethean groans and the strong ammoniacal odors. I
+did not see the face of Carpenter, because he had turned it from us.
+Rosythe favored me with a smile, and whispered, "Your friend doesn't
+care for beautee!" Then he added, "What do you suppose he meant by
+that stuff about 'the price of life' and 'the choice of God?'"
+
+"Didn't you really get it?" I asked.
+
+"I'm damned if I did."
+
+"My dear fellow," I said, "you didn't tell us what sort of place
+this was; and Carpenter thought it must be a maternity-ward."
+
+The moving picture critic of the Western City "Times" gave me one
+wild look; then from his throat there came a sound like the sudden
+bleat of a young sheep in pain. It caused Carpenter to start, and
+Madame Planchet to start, and for the first time since we entered
+the place, the birds of paradise gave signs of life elsewhere than
+in the eye-muscles. The sheep gave a second bleat, and then a third,
+and Rosythe, red in the face and apparently choking, turned and fled
+to the corridor.
+
+Madame Planchet drew me apart and said: "Meester Billee, tell me
+something. Ees eet true that thees gentleman ees a healer? He takes
+away the pains?"
+
+"He did it for me," I answered.
+
+"He ees vairy handsome, eh, Meester Billee?"
+
+"Yes, that is true."
+
+"I have an idea; eet ees a wondair." She turned to my friend.
+"Meester Carpentair, they tell me that you heal the pains. I think
+eet would be a vairy fine thing eef you would come to my parlor and
+attend the ladies while I give them the permanent wave, and while I
+skeen them, and make them the dimples and the sweet smiles. They
+suffer so, the poor dears, and eef you would seet and hold their
+hands, they would love eet, they would come every day for eet, and
+you would be famous, and you would be reech. You would meet--oh,
+such lovely ladies! The best people in the ceety come to my beauty
+parlors, and they would adore you, Meester Carpentair--what do you
+say to eet?"
+
+It struck me as curious, as I looked back upon it; Madame Planchet
+so far had not heard the sound of Carpenter's voice. Now she forced
+him to speak, but she did not force him to look at her. His gaze
+went over her head, as if he were seeing a vision; he recited:
+
+"Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched
+forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and
+making a tinkling with their feet; therefore the Lord will smite
+with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the
+Lord will discover their secret parts."
+
+"Oh, mon Dieu!" cried Madame Planchet.
+
+"In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their twinkling
+ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires
+like the moon, the chains, and the bracelets, and the mufflers, the
+bonnets, and the ornaments of the legs, and the headbands, and the
+tablets, and the earrings, the rings and nose jewels, the changeable
+suits of apparel, and the mantles, and the wimples, and the crisping
+pins, the glasses, and the fine linen, and the hoods, and the veils.
+And it shall come to pass that instead of sweet smell there shall be
+stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of well set hair,
+baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth: and
+burning instead of beauty."
+
+And at that moment the door from the corridor was flung open, and
+Mary Magna came in.
+
+
+
+XI
+
+
+"My God, will you look who's here! Billy, wretched creature, I
+haven't laid eyes on you for two months! Do you have to desert me
+entirely, just because you've fallen in love with a society girl
+with the face of a Japanese doll-baby? What's the matter with me,
+that I lose my lovers faster than I get them? Edgerton Rosythe, come
+in here--you've got a good excuse, I admit--I'm almost as much
+scared of your wife as you are yourself. But still, I'd like a
+chance to get tired of some man first. Hello, Planchet, how's my old
+grannie making out in your scalping-shop? Say, would you think it
+would take three days labor for half a dozen Sioux squaws to pull
+the skin off one old lady's back? And a week to tie up the corners
+of her mouth and give her a permanent smile! 'Why, grannie,' I said,
+'good God, it would be cheaper to hire Charlie Chaplin to walk round
+in front of you all the rest of your life!' And--why, what's this?
+For the love of Peter, somebody introduce me to this gentleman. Is
+he a friend of yours, Billy? Carpenter? Excuse me, Mr. Carpenter,
+but we picture people learn to talk about our faces and our styles,
+and it isn't every day I come on a million dollars walking round on
+two legs. Who does the gentleman work for?"
+
+The storm of Mary Magna stopped long enough for her to stare from
+one to another of us. "What? You mean nobody's got him? And you all
+standing round here, not signing any contracts? You, Edgerton--you
+haven't run to the telephone to call up Eternal City? Well, as it
+happens, T-S is going to be here in five minutes--his wife is being
+made beautiful once again somewhere in this scalping-shop. Take my
+advice, Mr. Carpenter, and don't sign today--the price will go up
+several hundred per week as long as you hold off."
+
+Mary stopped again; and this was most unusual, for as a general rule
+she never stopped until somebody or something stopped her. But she
+was fascinated by the spectacle of Carpenter. "My good God! Where
+did he come from? Why, it seems like--I'm trying to think--yes,
+it's the very man! Listen, Billy; you may not believe it, but I was
+in a church a couple of weeks ago. I went to see Roxanna Riddle
+marry that grand duke fellow. It was in a big church over by the
+park--St. Bartholomew's, they call it. I sat looking at a stained
+glass window over the altar, and Billy, I swear I believe this Mr.
+Carpenter came down from that window!"
+
+"Maybe he did, Mary," I put in.
+
+"But I'm not joking! I tell you he's the living, speaking image of
+that figure. Come to think of it, he isn't speaking, he hasn't said
+a word! Tell me, Mr. Carpenter, have you got a voice, or are you
+only a close up from 'The Servant in the House' or 'Ben Hur'? Say
+something, so I can get a line on you!"
+
+Again I stood wondering; how would Carpenter take this? Would he bow
+his head and run before a hail-storm of feminine impertinence? Would
+she "vamp" him, as she did every man who came near her? Or would
+this man do what no man alive had yet been able to do--reduce her to
+silence?
+
+He smiled gently; and I saw that she had vamped him this much, at
+least--he was going to be polite! "Mary," he said, "I think you are
+carrying everything but the nose jewels."
+
+"Nose jewels? What a horrid idea! Where did you get that?"
+
+"When you came in, I was quoting the prophet Isaiah. Some eighty
+generations of ladies have lived on earth since his day, Mary; they
+have won the ballot, but apparently they haven't discovered anything
+new in the way of ornaments. Some of the prophet's words may be
+strange to you, but if you study them you will see that you've got
+everything he lists: 'their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and
+their cauls, and their round tires like the moon, the chains, and
+the bracelets, and the mufflers, the bonnets, and the ornaments of
+the legs, and the headbands, and the tablets, and the earrings, the
+rings, and nose jewels, the changeable suits of apparel, and the
+mantles, and the wimples, and the crisping pins, the glasses, and
+the fine linen, and the hoods, and the veils.'"
+
+As Carpenter recited this list, his eyes roamed from one part to
+another of the wondrous "get up" of Mary Magna. You can imagine her
+facing him--that bold and vivid figure which you have seen as
+"Cleopatra" and "Salome," as "Dubarry" and "Anne Boleyn," and I know
+not how many other of the famous courtesans and queens of history.
+In daily life her style and manner is every bit as staggering; she
+is a gorgeous brunette, and wears all the colors there are--when she
+goes down the street it is like a whole procession with flags. I'll
+wager that, apart from her jewels, which may or may not have been
+real, she was carrying not less than five thousand dollars worth of
+stuff that fall afternoon. A big black picture hat, with a flower
+garden and parts of an aviary on top--but what's the use of going
+over Isaiah's list?
+
+"Everything but the nose jewels," said Carpenter, "and they may be
+in fashion next week."
+
+"How about the glasses?" put in Rosythe, entering into the fun.
+
+"Oh, shucks!" said I, protecting my friend. "Turn out the contents
+of your vanity-bag, Mary."
+
+"And the crisping-pins?" laughed the critic.
+
+"Hasn't Madame Planchet just shown us those?"
+
+All this while Mary had not taken her eyes off Carpenter. "So you
+are really one of those religious fellows!" she exclaimed. "You'll
+know exactly what to do without any directing! How perfectly
+incredible!" And at that appropriate moment T-S pushed open the door
+and waddled in!
+
+
+
+XII
+
+
+You know the screen stars, of course; but maybe you do not know
+those larger celestial bodies, the dark and silent and invisible
+stars from which the shining ones derive their energies. So, permit
+me to introduce you to T-S, the trade abbreviation for a name which
+nobody can remember, which even his secretaries have to keep typed
+on a slip of paper just above their machine--Tszchniczklefritszch.
+He came a few years ago from Ruthenia, or Rumelia, or Roumania--one
+of those countries where the consonants are so greatly in excess of
+the vowels. If you are as rich as he, you call him Abey, which is
+easy; otherwise, you call him Mr. T-S, which he accepts as a part of
+his Americanization.
+
+He is shorter than you or I, and has found that he can't grow
+upward, but can grow without limit in all lateral directions. There
+is always a little more of him than his clothing can hold, and it
+spreads out in rolls about his collar. He has a yellowish face,
+which turns red easily. He has small, shiny eyes, he speaks
+atrocious English, he is as devoid of culture as a hairy Ainu, and
+he smells money and goes after it like a hog into a swill-trough.
+
+"Hello, everybody! Madame, vere's de old voman?
+
+"She ees being dressed--"
+
+"Vell, speed her up! I got no time. I got--Jesus Christ!"
+
+"Yes, exactly," said Mary Magna.
+
+The great man of the pictures stood rooted to the spot. "Vot's dis?
+Some joke you people playin' on me?" He shot a suspicious glance
+from one to another of us.
+
+"No," said Mary, "he's real. Honest to God!"
+
+"Oh! You bring him for an engagement. Vell, I don't do no business
+outside my office. Send him to see Lipsky in de mornin'."
+
+"He hasn't asked for an engagement," said Mary.
+
+"Oh, he ain't. Vell, vot's he hangin' about for? Been gittin' a
+permanent vave? Ha, ha, ha!"
+
+"Cut it out, Abey," said Mary Magna. "This is a gentleman, and you
+must be decent. Mr. Carpenter, meet Mr. T-S."
+
+"Carpenter, eh? Vell, Mr. Carpenter, if I vas to make a picture vit
+you I gotta spend a million dollars on it--you know you can't make
+no cheap skate picture fer a ting like dat, if you do you got a
+piece o' cheese. It'd gotta be a costume picture, and you got shoost
+as much show to market vun o' dem today as you got vit a pauper's
+funeral. I spend all dat money, and no show to git it back, and den
+you actors tink I'm makin' ten million a veek off you--"
+
+"Cut it out, Abey!" broke in Mary. "Mr. Carpenter hasn't asked
+anything of you."
+
+"Oh, he ain't, hey? So dat's his game. Vell, he'll find maybe I can
+vait as long as de next feller. Ven he gits ready to talk business,
+he knows vere Eternal City is, I guess. Vot's de matter, Madame, you
+got dat old voman o' mine melted to de chair?"
+
+"I'll see, I'll see, Meester T-S," said Madame, hustling out of the
+room.
+
+Mary came up to the great man. "See here, Abey," she said, in a low
+voice, "you're making the worst mistake of your life. Apparently
+this man hasn't been discovered. When he is, you know what'll
+happen."
+
+"Vere doss he come from?"
+
+"I don't know. Billy here brought him. I said he must have come out
+of a stained glass window in St. Bartholomew's Church."
+
+"Oho, ho!" said T-S.
+
+"Anyhow, he's new, and he's too good to keep. The paper's 'll get
+hold of him sure. Just look at him!"
+
+"But, Mary, can he act?"
+
+"Act? My God, he don't have to act! He only has to look at you, and
+you want to fall at his feet. Go be decent to him, and find out what
+he wants."
+
+The great man surveyed the figure of the stranger appraisingly. Then
+he went up to him. "See here, Mr. Carpenter, maybe I could make you
+famous. Vould you like dat?"
+
+"I have never thought of being famous," was the reply.
+
+"Vell, you tink of it now. If I hire you, I make you de greatest
+actor in de vorld. I make it a propaganda picture fer de churches,
+dey vould show it to de headens in China and in Zululand. I make you
+a contract fer ten years, and I pay you five hunded dollars a veek,
+vedder you vork or not, and you vouldn't have to vork so much,
+because I don't catch myself makin' a million dollar feature picture
+vit gawd amighty and de angels in it for no regular veekly releases.
+Maybe you find some cheap skate feller vit some vild cat company vot
+promise you more; but he sells de picture and makes over de money to
+his vife's brudders, and den he goes bust, and vere you at den, hey?
+Mary Magna, here, she tell you, if you git a contract vit old Abey,
+it's shoost like you got libbidy bonds. I make dat lovely lady a
+check every veek fer tirty-five hunded dollars, an' I gotta sign it
+vit my own hand, and I tell you it gives me de cramps to sign so
+much money all de time, but I do it, and you see all dem rings and
+ribbons and veils and tings vot she buys vit de money, she looks
+like a jeweler's shop and a toy-store all rolled into vun goin'
+valkin' down de street."
+
+"Mr. Carpenter was just scolding me for that," said Mary. "I've an
+idea if you pay him a salary, he'll feed it to the poor."
+
+"If I pay it," said T-S, "it's his, and he can feed it to de
+dicky-birds if he vants to. Vot you say, Mr. Carpenter?"
+
+I was waiting with curiosity to hear what he would say; but at that
+moment the door from the "maternity-room" was opened, and the voice
+of Madame Planchet broke in: "Here she ees!" And the flesh-mountain
+appeared, with the two caryatids supporting her.
+
+
+
+XIII
+
+
+"My Gawd!" gasped Mrs. T-S. "I'm dyin'!"
+
+Her husband responded, beaming, "So you gone and done it again!"
+
+Said Mrs. T-S: "I'll never do it no more!"
+
+Said the husband: "Y'allus say dat. Fergit it, Maw, you're all right
+now, you don't have to have your hair frizzed fer six mont's!"
+
+Said Mrs. T-S: "I gotta lie down. I'm dyin', Abey, I tell you. Lemme
+git on de sofa."
+
+Said the husband: "Now, Maw, we gotta git to dinner--"
+
+"I can't eat no dinner."
+
+"Vot?" There was genuine alarm in the husband's voice. "You can't
+eat no dinner? Sure you gotta eat your dinner. You can't live if you
+don't eat. Come along now, Maw."
+
+"O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh!"
+
+T-S went and stood before her, and a grin came over his face. "Sure,
+now, ain't it fine? Say, Mary, look at dem lovely curves. Billy,
+shoost look here! Vy, she looks like a kid again, don't she! Madame,
+you're a daisy--you sure deliver de goods."
+
+Madame Planchet beamed, and the flesh-mountain was feebly cheered.
+"You like it, Abey?"
+
+"Sure, I like it! Maw, it's grand! It's like I got a new girl! Come
+on now, git up, we go git our dinner, and den we gotta see dem night
+scenes took. Don't forgit, we're payin' two tousand men five dollars
+apiece tonight, and we gotta git our money out of 'em." Then, taking
+for granted that this settled it, he turned to the rest. "You come
+vit us, Mary?"
+
+"I must wait for my grannie."
+
+"Sure, you leave your car fer grannie, and you come vit us, and we
+git some dinner, and den we see dem mob scenes took. You come along,
+Mr. Carpenter, I gotta have some talk vit you. And you, Billy? And
+Rosythe--come, pile in."
+
+"I have to wait for the missus," said the critic. "We have a date."
+
+"Vell," said T-S, and he went up close. "You do me a favor, Rosythe;
+don't say nuttin' about dis fellow Carpenter tonight. I feed him and
+git him feelin' good, and den I make a contract vit him, and I give
+you a front page telegraph story, see?"
+
+"All right," said the critic.
+
+"Mum's de vord now," said the magnate; and he waddled out, and the
+two caryatids lifted the flesh-mountain, and half carried it to the
+elevator, and Mary walked with Carpenter, and I brought up the rear.
+
+The car of T-S was waiting at the door, and this car is something
+special. It is long, like a freight-car, made all of shining
+gun-metal, or some such material; the huge wheels are of solid
+metal, and the fenders are so big and solid, it looks like an
+armored military car. There is an extra wheel on each side, and two
+more locked on to the rear. There is a chauffeur in uniform, and a
+footman in uniform, just to open the doors and close them and salute
+you as you enter. Inside, it is all like the sofas in Madame's
+scalping shop; you fall into them, and soft furs enfold you, and you
+give a sigh of Contentment, "O-o-o-o-o-o-oh!"
+
+"Prince's," said T-S to the chauffeur, and the palace on wheels
+began to glide along. It occurred to me to wonder that T-S was not
+embarrassed to take Carpenter to a fashionable eating-place. But I
+could read his thoughts; everybody would assume that he had been "on
+location" with one of his stars; and anyhow, what the hell? Wasn't
+he Abey Tszchniczklefritszch?
+
+"Wor-r-r-r-r! Wor-r-r-r-r-r!" snarled the horn of the car; and I
+could understand the meaning of this also. It said: "I am the car of
+Abey Tszchniczklefritszch, king of the movies, future king of the
+world. Get the hell out o' my way!" So we sped through the crowded
+streets, and pedestrians scattered like autumn leaves before a
+storm. "My Gawd, but I'm hungry!" said T-S. "I ain't had nuttin' to
+eat since lunch-time. How goes it, Maw? Feelin' better? Vell, you be
+all right ven you git your grub."
+
+So we came to Prince's, and drew up before the porte-cochere, and
+found ourselves confronting an adventure. There was a crowd before
+the place, a surging throng half-way down the block, with a whole
+line of policemen to hold them back. Over the heads of the crowd
+were transparencies, frame boxes with canvas on, and lights inside,
+and words painted on them. "Hello!" cried T-S. "Vot's dis?"
+
+Suddenly I recalled what I had read in the morning's paper. The
+workers of the famous lobster palace had gone on strike, and trouble
+was feared. I told T-S, and he exclaimed: "Oh, hell! Ain't we got
+troubles enough vit strikers in de studios, vitout dey come spoilin'
+our dinner?"
+
+The footman had jumped from his seat, and had the door open, and the
+great man began to alight. At that moment the mob set up a howl.
+"For shame! For shame! Unfair! Don't go in there! They starve their
+workers! They're taking the bread out of our mouths! Scabs! Scabs!"
+
+I got out second, and saw a spectacle of haggard faces, shouting
+menaces and pleadings; I saw hands waved wildly, one or two fists
+clenched; I saw the police, shoving against the mass, poking with
+their sticks, none too gently. A poor devil in a waiter's costume
+stretched out his arms to me, yelling in a foreign dialect: "You
+take de food from my babies!" The next moment the club of a
+policeman came down on his head, crack. I heard Mary scream behind
+me, and I turned, just in the nick of time. Carpenter was leaping
+toward the policeman, crying, "Stop!"
+
+There was no chance to parley in this emergency. I grabbed Carpenter
+in a foot-ball tackle. I got one arm pinned to his side, and Mary,
+good old scout, got the other as quickly. She is a bit of an
+athlete--has to keep in training for those hoochie-coochies and
+things she does, when she wins the love of emperors and sultans and
+such-like world-conquerors. Also, when we got hold of Carpenter, we
+discovered that he wasn't much but skin and bones anyhow. We fairly
+lifted him up and rushed him into the restaurant; and after the
+first moment he stopped resisting, and let us lead him between the
+aisles of diners, on the heels of the toddling T-S. There was a
+table reserved, in an alcove, and we brought him to it, and then
+waited to see what we had done.
+
+
+
+XIV
+
+
+Carpenter turned to me-and those sad but everchanging eyes were
+flashing. "You have taken a great liberty!"
+
+"There wasn't any time to argue," I said. "If you knew what I know
+about the police of Western City and their manners, you wouldn't
+want to monkey with them."
+
+Mary backed me up earnestly. "They'd have mashed your face, Mr.
+Carpenter."
+
+"My face?" he repeated. "Is not a man more than his face?"
+
+You should have heard the shout of T-S! "Vot? Ain't I shoost offered
+you five hunded dollars a veek fer dat face, and you vant to go git
+it smashed? And fer a lot o' lousy bums dat vont vork for honest
+vages, and vont let nobody else vork! Honest to Gawd, Mr. Carpenter,
+I tell you some stories about strikes vot we had on our own lot--you
+vouldn't spoil your face for such lousy sons-o'-guns--"
+
+"Ssh, Abey, don't use such langwich, you should to be shamed of
+yourself!" It was Maw, guardian of the proprieties, who had been
+extracted from the car by the footman, and helped to the table.
+
+"Vell, Mr. Carpenter, he dunno vot dem fellers is like--"
+
+"Sit down, Abey!" commanded the old lady. "Ve ain't ordered no stump
+speeches fer our dinner."
+
+We seated ourselves. And Carpenter turned his dark eyes on me. "I
+observe that you have many kinds of mobs in your city," he remarked.
+"And the police do interfere with some of them."
+
+"My Gawd!" cried T-S. "You gonna have a lot o' bums jumpin' on
+people ven dey try to git to dinner?"
+
+Said Carpenter: "Mr. Rosythe said that the police would not work
+unless they were paid. May I ask, who pays them to work here? Is it
+the proprietor of the restaurant?"
+
+"Vell," cried T-S, "ain't he gotta take care of his place?"
+
+"As a matter of fact," said I, laughing, "from what I read in the
+'Times' this morning, I gather that an old friend of Mr. Carpenter's
+has been paying in this case."
+
+Carpenter looked at me inquiringly.
+
+"Mr. Algernon de Wiggs, president of the Chamber of Commerce, issued
+a statement denouncing the way the police were letting mobs of
+strikers interfere with business, and proposing that the Chamber
+take steps to stop it. You remember de Wiggs, and how we left him?"
+
+"Yes, I remember," said Carpenter; and we exchanged a smile over
+that trick we had played.
+
+I could see T-S prick forward his ears. "Vot? You know de Viggs?"
+
+"Mr. Carpenter possesses an acquaintance with our best society which
+will astonish you when you realize it."
+
+"Vy didn't you tell me dat?" demanded the other; and I could
+complete the sentence for him: "Somebody has offered him more
+money!"
+
+Here the voice of Maw was heard: "Ain't we gonna git nuttin' to
+eat?"
+
+So for a time the problem of capital and labor was put to one side.
+There were two waiters standing by, very nervous, because of the
+strike. T-S grabbed the card from one, and read off a list of food,
+which the waiter wrote down. Maw, who was learning the rudiments of
+etiquette, handed her card to Mary, who gave her order, and then Maw
+gave hers, and I gave mine, and there was only Carpenter left.
+
+He was sitting, his dark eyes roaming here and there about the
+dining-room. Prince's, as you may know, is a gorgeous establishment:
+too much so for my taste--it has almost as much gilded moulding as
+if T-S had designed it for a picture palace. In front of Carpenter's
+eyes sat a dame with a bare white back, and a rope of big pearls
+about it, and a tiara of diamonds on top; and beyond her were more
+dames, and yet more, and men in dinner-coats, putting food into red
+faces. You and I get used to such things, but I could understand
+that to a stranger it must be shocking to see so many people feeding
+so expensively.
+
+"Vot you vant to order, Mr. Carpenter?" demanded T-S; and I waited,
+full of curiosity. What would this man choose to eat in a "lobster
+palace"?
+
+Carpenter took the card from his host and studied it. Apparently he
+had no difficulty in finding the most substantial part of the menu.
+"I'll have prime ribs of beef," said he; "and boiled mutton with
+caper sauce; and young spring turkey; and squab en casserole; and
+milk fed guinea fowl--" The waiter, of course, was obediently
+writing down each item. "And planked steak with mushrooms; and
+braised spare ribs--"
+
+"My Gawd!" broke in the host.
+
+"And roast teal duck; and lamb kidneys--"
+
+"Fer the love o' Mike, Mr. Carpenter, you gonna eat all dat?"
+
+"No; of course not."
+
+"Den vot you gonna do vit it?"
+
+"I'm going to take it to the hungry men outside."
+
+Well, sir, you'd have thought the world had stopped turning round,
+so still it was. The two waiters nearly dropped their order-pads and
+their napkins; they did drop their jaws, and Mrs. T-S's permanent
+wave seemed about to go flat.
+
+"Oh, hell!" cried T-S at last. "You can't do it!"
+
+"I can't?"
+
+"You can't order only vot you gonna eat."
+
+"But then, I don't want anything. I'm not hungry."
+
+"But you can't sit here like a dummy, man!" He turned to the waiter.
+"You bring him de same vot you bring me. Unnerstand? And git a move
+on, cause I'm starvin'. Fade out now!" And the waiter turned and
+fled.
+
+
+
+XV
+
+
+The proprietor of Eternal City wiped his perspiring forehead with
+his napkin, and started rather hurriedly to make conversation. I
+understood that he wanted to enjoy his dinner, and proposed to talk
+about something pleasant in the meantime. "I vonna tell you about
+dis picture ve're goin' to see took, Mr. Carpenter. I vant you
+should see de scale we do tings on, ven we got a big subjic.
+Y'unnerstand, dis is a feature picture ve're makin' now; a night
+picture, a big mob scene.".
+
+"Mob scene?" said Carpenter. "You have so many mobs in this world of
+yours!"
+
+"Vell, sure," said T-S. "You gotta take dis vorld de vay you find
+it. Y'can't change human nature, y'know. But dis vot you're gonna
+see tonight is only a play mob, y'unnerstand."
+
+"That is what seems strangest of all to me," said the other,
+thoughtfully. "You like mobs so well that you make imitation ones!"
+
+"Vell, de people, dey like to see crowds in a picture, and dey like
+to see action. If you gonna have a big picture, you gotta spend de
+money."
+
+"Why not take this real mob that is outside the door?"
+
+"Ha, ha, ha! Ve couldn't verk dat very good, Mr. Carpenter. Ve gotta
+have it in de right set; and ven you git a real mob, it don't alvays
+do vot you vant exactly! Besides, you can't take night pictures
+unless you got your lights and everyting. No, ve gotta make our mobs
+to order; we got two tousand fellers hired--"
+
+"What Mr. Rosythe called 'studio bums'? You have that many?"
+
+"Sure, we could git ten tousand if de set vould hold 'em. Dis
+picture is called 'De Tale o' Two Cities,' and it's de French
+revolution. It's about a feller vot takes anodder feller's place and
+gits his head cut off; and say, dere's a sob story in it vot's a
+vunder. Ven dey brought me de scenario, I says, 'Who's de author?'
+Dey says, 'It's a guy named Charles Dickens.' 'Dickens?' says I.
+'Vell, I like his verk. Vot's his address?' And Lipsky, he says,
+says he, 'Dey tell me he stays in a place called Vestminster Abbey,
+in England.' 'Vell,' says I, 'send him a cablegram and find out vot
+he'll take fer an exclusive contract.' So we sent a cablegram to
+Charles Dickens, Vestminster Abbey, England, and we didn't git no
+answer, and come to find out, de boys in de studios vas havin' a
+laugh on old Abey, because dis guy Dickens is some old time feller,
+and de Abbey is vere dey got his bones. Vell, dey can have deir
+fun--how de hell's a feller like me gonna git time to know about
+writers? Vy, only twelve years ago, Maw here and me vas carryin'
+pants in a push-cart fer a livin', and we didn't know if a book vas
+top-side up or bottom--ain't it, Maw?"
+
+Maw certified that it was--though I thought not quite so eagerly as
+her husband. There were five little T-S's growing up, and bringing
+pressure to let the dead past stay buried, in Vestminster Abbey or
+wherever it might be.
+
+The waiter brought the dinner, and spread it before us. And T-S
+tucked his napkin under both ears, and grabbed his knife in one hand
+and his fork in the other, and took a long breath, and said:
+"Good-bye, folks. See you later!" And he went to work.
+
+
+
+XVI
+
+
+For five minutes or so there was no sound but that of one man's food
+going in and going down. Then suddenly the man stopped, with his
+knife and fork upright on the table in each hand, and cried: "Mr.
+Carpenter, you ain't eatin' nuttin'!"
+
+The stranger, who had apparently been in a daydream, came suddenly
+back to Prince's. He looked at the quantities of food spread about
+him. "If you'd only let me take a little to those men outside!" He
+said it pleadingly.
+
+But T-S tapped imperiously on the table, with both his knife and
+fork together. "Mr. Carpenter, eat your dinner! Eat it, now, I say!"
+It was as if he were dealing with one of the five little T-S's. And
+Carpenter, strange as it may seem, obeyed. He picked up a bit of
+bread, and began to nibble it, and T-S went to work again.
+
+There was another five minutes of silence; and then the picture
+magnate stopped, with a look of horror on his face. "My Gawd! He's
+cryin'!" Sure enough, there were two large tears trickling, one down
+each cheek of the stranger, and dropping on the bread he was putting
+into his mouth!
+
+"Look here, Mr. Carpenter," protested T-S. "Is it dem strikers?"
+
+"I'm sorry; you see--"
+
+"Now, honest, man, vy should you spoil your dinner fer a bunch o'
+damn lousy loafers--"
+
+"Abey, vot a vay to talk at a dinner-party!" broke in Maw.
+
+And then suddenly Mary Magna spoke. It was a strange thing, though I
+did not realize it until afterwards. Mary, the irrepressible, had
+hardly said one word since we left the beauty parlors! Mary, always
+the life of dinner parties, was sitting like a woman who had seen
+the ghost of a dead child; her eyes following Carpenter's, her mind
+evidently absorbed in probing his thoughts.
+
+"Abey!" said she, with sudden passion, of a sort I'd never seen her
+display before. "Forget your grub for a moment, I have something to
+say. Here's a man with a heart full of love for other people--while
+you and I are just trying to see what we can get out of them! A man
+who really has a religion--and you're trying to turn him into a
+movie doll! Try to get it through your skull, Abey!"
+
+The great man's eyes were wide open. "Holy smoke, Mary! Vot's got
+into you?" And suddenly he almost shrieked. "Lord! She's cryin'
+too!"
+
+"No, I'm not," declared Mary, vialiantly. But there were two drops
+on her cheeks, so big that she was forced to wipe them away. "It's
+just a little shame, that's all. Here we sit, with three times as
+much food before us as we can eat; and all over this city are poor
+devils with nothing to eat, and no homes to go to--don't you know
+that's true, Abey? Don't you know it, Maw?"
+
+"Looka here, kid," said the magnate; "you know vot'll happen to you
+if you git to broodin' over tings? You git your face full o'
+wrinkles--you already gone and spoilt your make-up."
+
+"Shucks, Abey," broke in Maw, "vot you gotta do vit dat? Vy don't
+you mind your own business?"
+
+"Mind my own business? My own business, you say? Vell, I like to
+know vot you call my business! Ven I got a contract to pay a girl
+tirty-five hunded dollars a veek fer her face, and she goes and gits
+it all wrinkles, I ask any jury, is it my business or ain't it? And
+if a feller vants to pull de tremulo stop fer a lot o' hoboes and
+Bullsheviki, and goes and spills his tears into his soup--"
+
+It sounded fierce; but Mary apparently knew her Abey; also, she saw
+that Maw was starting to cry. "There's no use trying to bluff me,
+Abey. You know as well as I do there are hungry people in this city,
+and no fault of theirs. You know, too, you eat twice what you ought
+to, because I've heard the doctor tell you. I'm not blaming you a
+bit more than I do myself--me, with two automobiles, and a whole
+show-window on my back." And suddenly she turned to Carpenter. "What
+can we do?"
+
+He answered: "Here, men gorge themselves; in Russia they are eating
+their dead."
+
+T-S dropped his knife and fork, and Maw gave a gulp. "Oh, my Gawd!"
+
+"There are ten million people doomed to starve. Their children eat
+grass, and their bellies swell up and their legs dwindle to
+broom-sticks; they stagger and fall into the ditches, and other
+children tear their flesh and devour it."
+
+"O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh!" wailed Maw; and the diners at Prince's began
+to stare.
+
+"Now looka here!" cried T-S, wildly. "I say dis ain't no decent way
+to behave at a party. I say it ain't on de level to be a feller's
+guest, and den jump on him and spoil his dinner. See here, Mr.
+Carpenter, I tell you vot I do. You be good and eat your grub, so it
+don't git vasted, and I promise you, tomorrow I go and hunt up
+strike headquarters, and give dem a check fer a tousand dollars, and
+if de damn graftin' leaders don't hog it, dey all git someting to
+eat. And vot's more, I send a check fer five tousand to de Russian
+relief. Now ain't dat square? Vot you say?"
+
+"What I say is, Mr. T-S, I cannot be the keeper of another man's
+conscience. But I'll try to eat, so as not to be rude."
+
+And T-S grunted, and went back to his feeding; and the stranger made
+a pretense of eating, and we did the same.
+
+
+
+XVII
+
+
+It happens that I was brought up in a highly conscientious family.
+To my dear mother, and to her worthy sisters, there is nothing in
+the world more painful than what they call a "scene"--unless
+possibly it is what they call a "situation." And here we had
+certainly had a "scene," and still had a "situation." So I sat,
+racking my brains to think of something safe to talk about. I
+recalled that T-S had had pretty good success with his "Tale of Two
+Cities" as a topic of conversation, so I began:
+
+"Mr. Carpenter, the spectacle you are going to see this evening is
+rather remarkable from the artistic point of view. One of the
+greatest scenic artists of Paris has designed the set, and the best
+judges consider it a real achievement, a landmark in moving picture
+work."
+
+"Tell me about it," said Carpenter; and I was grateful for his tone
+of interest.
+
+"Well, I don't know how much you know about picture making--"
+
+"You had better explain everything."
+
+"Well, Mr. T-S has built a large set, representing a street scene in
+Paris over a century ago. He has hired a thousand men--"
+
+"Two tousand!" broke in T-S.
+
+"In the advertisements?" I suggested, with a smile.
+
+"No, no," insisted the other. "Two tousand, really. In de
+advertisements, five tousand."
+
+"Well," said I, "these men wear costumes which T-S has had made for
+them, and they pretend to be a mob. They have been practicing all
+day, and by now they know what to do. There is a man with a
+megaphone, shouting orders to them, and enormous lights playing upon
+them, so that men with cameras can take pictures of the scene. It is
+very vivid, and as a portrayal of history, is truly educational."
+
+"And when it is done--what becomes of the men?"
+
+Utterly hopeless, you see! We were right back on the forbidden
+ground! "How do you mean?" I evaded.
+
+"I mean, how do they live?"
+
+"Dey got deir five dollars, ain't dey?" It was T-S, of course.
+
+"Yes, but that won' last very long, will it? What is the cost of
+this dinner we are eating?"
+
+The magnate of the movies looked to the speaker, and then burst into
+a laugh. "Ho, ho, ho! Dat's a good vun!"
+
+Said I, hastily: "Mr. T-S means that there are cheaper eating places
+to be found."
+
+"Well," said Carpenter, "why don't we find one?"
+
+"It's no use, Billy. He thinks it's up to me to feed all de bums on
+de lot. Is dat it, Mr. Carpenter?"
+
+"I can't say, Mr. T-S; I don't know how many there are, and I don't
+know how rich you are."
+
+"Vell, dey got five million out o' verks in this country now, and if
+I vanted to bust myself, I could feed 'em vun day, maybe two. But
+ven I got done, dey vouldn't be nobody to make pictures, and
+somebody vould have to feed old Abey--or maybe me and Maw could go
+back to carryin' pants in a push cart! If you tink I vouldn't like
+to see all de hungry fed, you got me wrong, Mr. Carpenter; but vot I
+learned is dis--if you stop fer all de misery you see in de vorld
+about you, you vouldn't git novhere."
+
+"Well," said Carpenter, "what difference would that make?"
+
+The proprietor of Eternal City really wanted to make out the
+processes of this abnormal mind. He wrinkled his brows, and thought
+very hard over it.
+
+"See here, Mr. Carpenter," he began at last, "I tink you got hold o'
+de wrong feller. I'm a verkin' man, de same as any mechanic on my
+lot. I verked ever since I vas a liddle boy, and if I eat too much
+now, maybe it's because I didn't get enough ven I vas liddle. And
+maybe I got more money dan vot I got a right to, but I know dis--I
+ain't never had enough to do half vot I vant to! But dere's plenty
+fellers got ten times vot I got, and never done a stroke o' vork fer
+it. Dey're de vuns y'oughter git after!"
+
+Said Carpenter: "I would, if I knew how."
+
+"Dey's plenty of 'em right in dis room, I bet." And Mary added: "Ask
+Billy; he knows them all!"
+
+"You flatter me, Mary," I laughed.
+
+"Ain't dey some of 'em here?" demanded T-S.
+
+"Yes, that's true. There are some not far away, who are developing a
+desire to meet Mr. Carpenter, unless I miss the signs."
+
+"Vere are dey at?" demanded T-S.
+
+"I won't tell you that," I laughed, "because you'd turn and stare
+into their faces."
+
+"So he vould!" broke in Maw. "How often I gotta tell you, Abey? You
+got no more manners dan if you vas a jimpanzy."
+
+"All right," said the magnate, grinning good naturedly. "I'll keep
+a-eatin' my dinner. Who is it?"
+
+"It's Mrs. Parmelee Stebbins," said I. "She boasts a salon, and has
+to have what are called lions, and she's been watching Mr. Carpenter
+out of the corner of her eye ever since he came into the
+room--trying to figure out whether he's a lion, or only an actor. If
+his skin were a bit dark, she would be sure he was an Eastern
+potentate; as it, she's afraid he's of domestic origin, in which
+case he's vulgar. The company he keeps is against him; but
+still--Mrs. Stebbins has had my eye three times, hoping I would give
+her a signal, I haven't given it, so she's about to leave."
+
+"Vell, she can go to hell!" said T-S, keeping his promise to devote
+himself to his dinner. "I offered Parmelee Stebbins a tird share in
+'De Pride o' Passion' fer a hunded tousand dollars, and de damn fool
+turned me down, and de picture has made a million and a quarter
+a'ready."
+
+"Well," said I, "he's probably paying for it by sitting up late to
+buy the city council on this new franchise grab of his; and so he
+hasn't kept his date to dine with his expensive family at Prince's.
+Here is Miss Lucinda Stebbins; she's engaged to Babcock, millionaire
+sport and man about town, but he's taking part in a flying race over
+the Rocky Mountains tonight, and so Lucinda feels bored, and she
+knows the vaudeville show is going to be tiresome, but still she
+doesn't want to meet any freaks. She has just said to her mother
+that she can't see why a person in her mother's position can't be
+content to meet proper people, but always has to be getting herself
+into the newspapers with some new sort of nut."
+
+"My Gawd, Billy!" cried Maw. "You got a dictaphone on dem people?"
+
+"No, but I know the type so well, I can tell by their looks. Lucinda
+is thinking about their big new palace on Grand Avenue, and she
+regards everyone outside her set as a burglar trying to break in.
+And then there's Bertie Stebbins, who's thinking about a new style
+of collar he saw advertised to-day, and how it would look on him,
+and what impression it would make on his newest girl."
+
+It was Mary who spoke now: "I know that little toad. I've seen him
+dancing at the Palace with Dorothy Doodles, or whatever her name
+is."
+
+"Well," said I, "Mrs. Stebbins runs the newer set--those who hunt
+sensations, and make a splurge in the papers. It costs like smoke,
+of course--" And suddenly I stopped. "Look out!" I whispered. "Here
+she comes!"
+
+
+
+XVIII
+
+
+I heard Maw catch her breath, and I heard Maw's husband give a
+grunt. Then I rose. "How are you, Billy?" gurgled a voice--one of
+those voices made especially for social occasions. "Wretched boy,
+why do you never come to see us?"
+
+"I was coming to-morrow," I said--for who could prove otherwise?
+"Mrs. Stebbins, permit me to introduce Mrs. Tszchniczklefritszch."
+
+"Charmed to meet you, I'm sure," said Mrs. Stebbins. "I've heard my
+husband speak of your husband so often. How well you are looking,
+Mrs.--"
+
+She stopped; and Maw, knowing the terrors of her name, made haste to
+say something agreeable. "Yes, ma'am; dis country agrees vit me
+fine. Since I come here, I've rode and et, shoost rode and et."
+
+"And Mr. T-S," said I.
+
+"Howdydo, Mr. T-S?"
+
+"Pretty good, ma'am," said T-S. He had been caught with his mouth
+full, and was making desperate efforts to swallow.
+
+A singular thing is the power of class prestige! Here was Maw, a
+good woman, according to her lights, who had worked hard all her
+life, and had achieved a colossal and astounding success. She had
+everything in the world that money could buy; her hair was done by
+the best hair-dresser, her gown had been designed by the best
+costumer, her rings and bracelets selected by the best jeweller; and
+yet nothing was right, no power on earth could make it right, and
+Maw knew it, and writhed the consciousness of it. And here was Mrs.
+Parmelee Stebbins, who had never done a useful thing in all her
+days--except you count the picking out of a rich husband; yet Mrs.
+Stebbins was "right," and Maw knew it, and in the presence of the
+other woman she was in an utter panic, literally quivering in every
+nerve. And here was old T-S, who, left to himself, might have really
+meant what he said, that Mrs. Stebbins could go to hell; but because
+he was married, and loved his wife, he too trembled, and gulped down
+his food!
+
+Mrs. Stebbins is one of those American matrons who do not allow
+marriage and motherhood to make vulgar physical impressions upon
+them. Her pale blue gown might have been worn by her daughter; her
+cool grey eyes looked out through a face without a wrinkle from a
+soul without a care. She was a patroness of art and intellect; but
+never did she forget her fundamental duty, the enhancing of the
+prestige of a family name. When she was introduced to a
+screen-actress, she was gracious, but did not forget the difference
+between an actress and a lady. When she was introduced to a strange
+man who did not wear trousers, she took it quite as an everyday
+matter, revealing no trace of vulgar human curiosity.
+
+There came Bertie, full grown, but not yet out of the pimply stage,
+and still conscious of the clothes which he had taken such pains to
+get right. Bertie's sister remained in her seat, refusing naughtily
+to be compromised by her mother's vagaries; but Bertie had a
+purpose, and after I had introduced him round, I saw what he
+wanted--Mary Magna! Bertie had a vision of himself as a sort of
+sporting prince in this movie world. His social position would make
+conquests easy; it was a sort of Christmas-tree, all a-glitter with
+prizes.
+
+I was standing near, and heard the beginning of their conversation.
+"Oh, Miss Magna, I'm so pleased to meet you. I've heard so much
+about you from Miss Dulles."
+
+"Miss Dulles?"
+
+"Yes; Dorothy Dulles."
+
+"I'm sorry. I don't think I ever heard of her."
+
+"What? Dorothy Dulles, the screen actress?"
+
+"No, I can't place her."
+
+"But--but she's a star!"
+
+"Well, but you know, Mr. Stebbins--there are so many stars in the
+heavens, and not all of them visible to the eye."
+
+I turned to Bertie's mamma. She had discovered that Carpenter looked
+even more thrilling on a close view; he was not a stage figure, but
+a really grave and impressive personality, exactly the thing to
+thrill the ladies of the Higher Arts Club at their monthly luncheon,
+and to reflect prestige upon his discoverer. So here she was,
+inviting the party to share her box at the theatre; and here was T-S
+explaining that it couldn't be done, he had got to see his French
+revolution pictures took, dey had five tousand men hired to make a
+mob. I noted that Mrs. Stebbins received the "advertising" figures
+on the production!
+
+The upshot of it was that the great lady consented to forget her box
+at the theatre, and run out to the studios to see the mob scenes for
+the "The Tale of Two Cities." T-S hadn't quite finished his dinner,
+but he waved his hand and said it was nuttin', he vouldn't keep Mrs.
+Stebbins vaitin'. He beckoned the waiter, and signed his magic name
+on the check, with a five-dollar bill on top for a tip. Mrs.
+Stebbins collected her family and floated to the door, and our party
+followed.
+
+I expected another scene with the mob; but I found that the street
+had been swept clear of everything but policemen and chauffeurs. I
+knew that this must have meant rough work on the part of the
+authorities, but I said nothing, and hoped that Carpenter would not
+think of it. The Stebbins car drew up by the porte-cochere; and
+suddenly I discovered why the wife of the street-car magnate was
+known as a "social leader." "Billy," she said, "you come in our car,
+and bring Mr. Carpenter; I have something to talk to you about."
+Just that easily, you see! She wanted something, so she asked for
+it!
+
+I took Carpenter by the arm and put him in. Bertie drove, the
+chauffeur sitting in the seat beside him. "Beat you to it!" called
+Bertie, with his invincible arrogance, and waved his hand to the
+picture magnate as we rolled away.
+
+
+
+XIX
+
+
+As it happened, we made a poor start. Turning the corner into
+Broadway, we found ourselves caught in the jam of the theatre
+traffic, and our car was brought to a halt in front of the "Empire
+Varieties." If you have been on any Broadway between the Atlantic
+and Pacific oceans, you can imagine the sight; the flaring electric
+signs, the pictures of the head line artists, the people waiting to
+buy tickets, and the crowds on the sidewalk pushing past. There was
+one additional feature, a crowd of "rah-rah boys," with yellow and
+purple flags in their hands, and the glory of battle in their eyes.
+As our car halted, the cheer-leader gave a signal, and a hundred
+throats let out in unison:
+
+    "Rickety zim, rickety zam,
+     Brickety, stickety, slickety slam!
+     Wallybaloo! Billybazoo!
+     We are the boys for a hullabaloo--Western City!"
+
+It sounded all the more deafening, because Bertie, in the front
+seat, had joined in.
+
+"Hello!" said I. "We must have won the ball-game!"
+
+"You _bet_ we did!" said Bertie, in his voice of bursting
+self-importance.
+
+"Ball-game?" asked Carpenter.
+
+"Foot-ball," said I. "Western City played Union Tech today. Wonder
+what the score was."
+
+The cheer leader seemed to take the words out of my mouth. Again the
+hundred voices roared:
+
+    "What was the score?
+     Seventeen to four!
+     Who got it in the neck?
+     Union Tech!
+     Who took the kitty?
+     Western City!"
+
+Then more waving of flags, and yells for our prize captain and our
+agile quarter-back: "Rah, rah, rah, Jerry Wilson! Rah, rah, rah,
+Harriman! Western City, Western City, Western City!
+W-E-S-T-E-R-N-C-I-T-Y! Western City!"
+
+You have heard college yells, no doubt, and can imagine the tempo of
+these cries, the cumulative rush of the spelled out letters, the
+booming roar at the end. The voice of Bertie beat back from the
+wind-shield with devastating effect upon our ears; and then our car
+rolled on, and the clamor died away, and I answered the questions of
+Carpenter. "They are college boys. They have won a game with another
+college, and are celebrating the victory."
+
+"But," said the other, "how do they manage to shout all together
+that way?"
+
+"Oh, they've practiced that, of course."
+
+"You mean--they gather and practice making those noises?"
+
+"Surely."
+
+"They make them in cold blood?"
+
+I laughed. "Well, the blood of youth is seldom entirely cold. They
+imagine the victory while they rehearse, no doubt."
+
+When Carpenter spoke again, it was half to himself. "You make your
+children into mobs! You train them for it!"
+
+"It really isn't that bad," I replied. "It's all in good
+temper--it's their play."
+
+"Yes, yes! But what is play but practice for reality? And how shall
+love be learned in savage war-dances?"
+
+They tell us that we have a new generation of young people since the
+war; a generation which thinks for itself, and has its own way. I
+was an advocate of this idea in the abstract, but I must admit that
+I was startled by the concrete case which I now encountered. Bertie
+suddenly looked round from his place in the driver's seat. "Say," he
+demanded, in a grating voice, "where was that guy raised?"
+
+"Bertie _dear_!" cried his mother. "Don't be rude!"
+
+"I'm not being rude," replied the other. "I just want to know where
+he got his nut ideas."
+
+"Bertie _dear_!" cried the mother, again; and you knew that for
+eighteen or nineteen years she had been crying "Bertie _dear_!"--in
+a tone in which rebuke was tempered by fatuous maternal admiration.
+And all the time, Bertie had gone on doing what he pleased, knowing
+that in her secret heart his mother was smiling with admiration of
+his masterfulness, taking it as one more symptom of the greatness of
+the Stebbins line. I could see him in early childhood, stamping
+on the floor and commanding his governess to bring him a
+handkerchief--and throwing his shoe at her when she delayed!
+
+Presently it was Lucinda's turn. Lucinda, you understand, was in
+revolt against the social indignity which her mother had inflicted
+upon her. When Carpenter had entered the car, she had looked at him
+once, with a deliberate stare, then lifted her chin, ignoring my
+effort to introduce him to her. Since then she had sat silent, cold,
+and proud. But now she spoke. "Mother, tell me, do we have to meet
+those horrid fat old Jews again?"
+
+Mrs. Stebbins wisely decided that this was not a good time to
+explore the soul of a possible Eastern potentate. Instead, she
+elected to talk for a minute or two about a lawn fete she was
+planning to give next week for the benefit of the Polish relief.
+"Poland is the World's Bulwark against Bolshevism," she explained;
+and then added: "Bertie _dear_, aren't you driving recklessly?"
+
+Bertie turned his head. "Didn't you hear me tell that old sheeny I
+was going to beat him to it?"
+
+"But, Bertie _dear_, this street is crowded!"
+
+"Well, let them look out for themselves!"
+
+But a few seconds later it appeared as if the son and heir of the
+Stebbins family had decided to take his mother's advice. The car
+suddenly slowed up--so suddenly as to slide us out of our seats.
+There was a grinding of brakes, and a bump of something under the
+wheels; then a wild stream from the sidewalk, and a half-stifled cry
+from the chauffeur. Mrs. Stebbins gasped, "Oh, my God!" and put her
+hands over her face; and Lucinda exclaimed, in outraged irritation,
+"Mamma!" Carpenter looked at me, puzzled, and asked, "What is the
+matter?"
+
+
+
+XX
+
+
+The accident had happened in an ill-chosen neighborhood: one of
+those crowded slum quarters, swarming with Mexicans and Italians and
+other foreigners. Of course, that was the only neighborhood in which
+it could have happened, because it is only there that children run
+wild in the streets at night. There was one child under the front
+wheels, crushed almost in half, so that you could not bear to look
+at it, to say nothing of touching it; and there was another, struck
+by the fender and knocked into the gutter. There was an old hag of a
+woman standing by, with her hands lifted into the air, shrieking in
+such a voice of mingled terror and fury as I had never heard in my
+life before. It roused the whole quarter; there were people running
+out of twenty houses, I think, before one of us could get out of the
+car.
+
+The first person out was Carpenter. He took one glance at the form
+under the car, and saw there was no hope there; then he ran to the
+child in the gutter and caught it into his arms. The poor people who
+rushed to the scene found him sitting on the curb, gazing into the
+pitiful, quivering little face, and whispering grief-stricken words.
+There was a street-lamp near, so he could see the face of the child,
+and the crowd could see him.
+
+There came a woman, apparently the mother of the dead child. She saw
+the form under the car, and gave a horrified scream, and fell into a
+faint. There came a man, the father, no doubt, and other relatives;
+there was a clamoring, frantic throng, swarming about the car and
+about the victims. I went to Carpenter, and asked, "Is it dead?" He
+answered, "It will live, I think." Then, seeing that the crowd was
+likely to stifle the little one, he rose. "Where does this child
+live?" he asked, and some one pointed out the house, and he carried
+his burden into it. I followed him, and it was fortunate that I did
+so, because of the part I was able to play.
+
+I saw him lay the child upon a couch, and put his hands upon its
+forehead, and close his eyes, apparently in prayer. Then, noting the
+clamor outside growing louder, I went to the door and looked out,
+and found the Stebbins family in a frightful predicament. The mob
+had dragged Bertie and the chauffeur outside the car, and were
+yelling menaces and imprecations into their faces; poor Bertie was
+shouting back, that it wasn't his fault, how could _he_ help it? But
+they thought he might have helped coming into their quarter with his
+big rich car; why couldn't he stay in his own part of the city, and
+kill the children of the rich? A man hit him a blow in the face and
+knocked him over; his mother shrieked, and leaped out to help him,
+and half a dozen women flung themselves at her, and as many men at
+the chauffeur. There was a pile of bricks lying handy, and no doubt
+also knives in the pockets of these foreign men; I believe the
+little party would have been torn to pieces, had it not occurred to
+me to run into the house and summon Carpenter.
+
+Why did I do it? I think because I had seen how the crowd gave way
+before him with the child in his arms. Anyhow, I knew that I could
+do nothing alone, and before I could find a policeman it might be
+many times too late. I told Carpenter what was happening, and he
+rose, and ran out to the street.
+
+It was like magic, of course. To these poor foreigners, Catholics
+most of them, he did not suggest a moving picture actor on location;
+he suggested something serious and miraculous. He called to the
+crowd, stretching out his arms, and they gave way before him, and he
+walked into them, and when he got to the struggling group he held
+his arms over them, and that was all there was to it.
+
+Except, of course, that he made them a speech. Seeing that he was
+saving Bertie Stebbins' life, it was no more than fair that he
+should have his own way, and that a member of the younger generation
+should listen in unprotesting silence to a discourse, the political
+and sociological implications of which must have been very offensive
+to him. And Bertie listened; I think he would not have made a sound,
+even if he could have, after the crack in the face he had got.
+
+"My people," said Carpenter, "what good would it do you to kill
+these wretches? The blood-suckers who drain the life of the poor are
+not to be killed by blows. There are too many of them, and more of
+them grow in place of those who die. And what is worse, if you kill
+them, you destroy in yourselves that which makes you better than
+they, which gives you the right to life. You destroy those virtues
+of patience and charity, which are the jewels of the poor, and make
+them princes in the kingdom of love. Let us guard our crown of pity,
+and not acquire the vices of our oppressors. Let us grow in wisdom,
+and find ways to put an end to the world's enslavement, without the
+degradation of our own hearts. For so many ages we have been
+patient, let us wait but a little longer, and find the true way! Oh,
+my people, my beloved poor, not in violence, but in solidarity, in
+brotherhood, lies the way! Let us bid the rich go on, to the sure
+damnation which awaits them. Let us not soil our hands with their
+blood!"
+
+He spread out his arms again, majestically. "Stand back! Make way
+for them!"
+
+Not all the crowd understood the words, but enough of them did, and
+set the example. In dead silence they withdrew from the sides and
+front of the car. The body of the dead child had been dragged out of
+the way and laid on the sidewalk, covered by a coat; and so
+Carpenter said to the Stebbins family: "The road is clear before
+you. Step in." Half dazed, the four people obeyed, and again
+Carpenter raised his voice. "Drinkers of human blood, devourers of
+human bodies, go your way! Go forward to that doom which history
+prepares for parasites!"
+
+The engine began to purr, and the car began to move. There was a low
+mutter from the crowd, a moan of fury and baffled desire; but not a
+hand was lifted, and the car shot away, and disappeared down the
+street, leaving Carpenter standing on the curb, making a Socialist
+speech to a mob of greasers and dagoes.
+
+
+
+XXI
+
+
+When he stopped speaking, it was because a woman pressed her way
+through the crowd, and caught one of his hands. "Master, my baby!"
+she sobbed. "The little one that was hurt!" So Carpenter said to the
+crowd, "The sick child needs me. I must go in." They started to
+press after him, and he added, "You must not come into the room. The
+child will need air." He went inside, and knelt once more by the
+couch, and put his hand on the little one's forehead. The mother, a
+frail, dark Mexican woman, crouched at the foot, not daring to touch
+either the man or the child, but staring from one to the other,
+pressing her hands together in an agony of dread.
+
+The little one opened his eyes, and gazed up. Evidently he liked
+what he saw, for he kept on gazing, and a smile spread over his
+features, a wistful and tender and infinitely sad little smile, of a
+child who perhaps never had a good meal in his lifetime. "Nice man!"
+he whispered; and the woman, hearing his voice again, began sobbing
+wildly, and caught Carpenter's free hand and covered it with her
+tears. "It is all right," said he; "all right, all right! He will
+get well--do not be afraid." He smiled back at the child, saying:
+"It is better now; you will not have so much pain." To me he
+remarked, "What is there so lovely as a child?"
+
+The people thronging the doorway spread word what was going on, and
+there were shouts of excitement, and presently the voice of a woman,
+clamoring for admission. The throng made way, and she brought a
+bundle in her arms, which being unfolded proved to contain a sick
+baby. I never knew what was the matter with it; I don't suppose the
+mother knew, nor did Carpenter seem to care. The woman knelt at his
+feet, praying to him; but he bade her stand up, and took the child
+from her, and looked into its face, and then closed his eyes in
+prayer. When he handed back the burden, a few minutes later, she
+gazed at it. Something had happened, or at least she thought it had
+happened, for she gave a cry of joy, and fell at Carpenter's feet
+again, and caught the hem of his garment with one hand and began to
+kiss it. The rumor spread outside, and there were more people
+clamoring. Before long, filtering into the room, came the lame, and
+the halt, and the blind.
+
+I had been reading not long ago of the miracles of Lourdes, so I
+knew in a general way what to expect. I know that modern science
+vindicates these things, demonstrating that any powerful stimulus
+given to the unconscious can awaken new vital impulses, and heal not
+merely the hysterical and neurotic, but sometimes actual physical
+ailments. Of course, to these ignorant Mexicans and Italians, there
+was no possible excitement so great as that caused by Carpenter's
+appearance and behavior. I understood the thing clearly; and yet,
+somehow, I could not watch it without being startled--thrilled in a
+strange, uncomfortable way.
+
+And later on I had company in these unaccustomed emotions; the crowd
+gave way, and who should come into the room but Mary Magna! She did
+not speak to either of us, but slipped to one side and stood in
+silence--while the crowd watched her furtively out of the corner of
+its eyes, thinking her some foreign princess, with her bold, dark
+beauty and her costly attire. I went over to her, whispering, "How
+did you get here?" She explained that, when we did not arrive at the
+studios, she had called up the Stebbins home and learned about the
+accident. "They warned me not to come here, because this man was a
+terrible Bolshevik; he made a blood-thirsty speech to the mob. What
+did he say?"
+
+I started to tell; but I was interrupted by a piercing shriek. A
+sick and emaciated young girl with paralyzed limbs had been carried
+into the room. They had laid her on the couch, from which the child
+had been taken away, and Carpenter had put his hands upon her. At
+once the girl had risen up--and here she stood, her hands flung into
+the air, literally screaming her triumphant joy. Of course the crowd
+took it up--these primitive people are always glad of a chance to
+make a big noise, so the whole room was in a clamor, and Carpenter
+had hard work to extract himself from the throng which wished to
+touch his hands and his clothing, and to worship him on their knees.
+
+He came over to us, and smiled. "Is not this better than acting,
+Mary?
+
+"Yes, surely--if one can do it."
+
+Said he: "Everyone could do it, if they knew."
+
+"Is that really true?" she asked, with passionate earnestness.
+
+"There is a god in every man, and in every woman."
+
+"Why don't they know it, then?"
+
+"There is a god, and also a beast. The beast is old, and familiar,
+and powerful; the god is new, and strange, and afraid. Because of
+his fear, the beast kills him."
+
+"What is the beast?"
+
+"His name is self; and he has many forms. In men he is greed; in
+women he is vanity, and goes attired in much raiment--the chains,
+and the bracelets, and the mufflers--"
+
+"Oh, don't!" cried Mary, wildly.
+
+"Very well, Mary; I won't." And he didn't. But, looking at Mary, it
+seemed that she was just as unhappy as if he had.
+
+He turned to an old man who had hobbled into the room on crutches.
+"Poor old comrade! Poor old friend!" His voice seemed to break with
+pity. "They have worked you like an old mule, until your skin is
+cracked and your joints grown hard; but they have not been so kind
+to you as to an old mule--they have left you to suffer!"
+
+To a pale young woman who staggered towards him, coughing, he cried:
+"What can I do for you? They are starving you to death! You need
+food--and I have no food to give!" He raised his arms, in sudden
+wrath. "Bring forth the masters of this city, who starve the poor,
+while they themselves riot in wantonness!"
+
+But the members of the Chamber of Commerce and of the Bankers'
+Association of Western City were not within hearing, nor are their
+numbers as a rule to be found in the telephone book. Carpenter
+looked about the place, now lined pretty well with cripples and
+invalids. Only a couple of hours of spreading rumor had been needed
+to bring them forth, unholy and dreadful secrets, dragged from the
+dark corners and back alley-ways of these tenements. He gazed from
+one crooked and distorted face to another, and put his hand to his
+forehead with a gesture of despair. "No, no!" he said. "It is of no
+use!" He lifted his voice, calling once more to the masters of the
+city. "You make them faster than I can heal them! You make them by
+machinery--and he who would help them must break the machine!"
+
+He turned to me; and I was startled, for it was as if he had been
+inside my mind. "I know, it will not be easy! But remember, I broke
+the empire of Rome!"
+
+That was his last flare. "I can do no more," he whispered. "My power
+is gone from me; I must rest." And his voice gave way. "I beg you to
+go, unhappy poor of the world! I have done all that I can do for you
+tonight."
+
+And silently, patiently, as creatures accustomed to the voice of
+doom, the sick and the crippled began to hobble and crawl from the
+room.
+
+
+
+XXII
+
+
+He sat on the edge of the couch, gazing into space, lost in tragic
+thought; and Mary and I sat watching him, not quite certain whether
+we ought to withdraw with the rest. But he did not seem aware of our
+presence, so we stayed.
+
+In our world it is not considered permissible for people to remain
+in company without talking. If the talk lags, we have to cast
+hurriedly about in our minds for something to say--it is called
+"making conversation." But Carpenter evidently did not know about
+this custom, and neither of us instructed him. Once or twice I stole
+a glance at Mary, marvelling at her. All her life she had been a
+conversational volcano, in a state of perpetual eruption; but now,
+apparently she passed judgment on her own remarks, and found them
+not worth making.
+
+In the doorway of the room appeared the little boy who had been
+knocked down by the car. He looked at Carpenter, and then came
+towards him. When Carpenter saw him, a smile of welcome came upon
+his face; he stretched out an arm, and the little fellow nestled in
+it. Other children appeared in the doorway, and soon he had a group
+about him, sitting on his knees and on the couch. They were little
+gutter-urchins, but he, seemingly, was interested in knowing their
+names and their relationships, what they learned in school, and what
+games they played. I think he had Bertie's foot-ball crowd in mind,
+for he said: "Some day they will teach you games of love and
+friendship, instead of rivalry and strife."
+
+Presently the mother of the household appeared. She was distressed,
+because it did not seem possible that a great man should be
+interested in the prattle of children, when he had people like us,
+evidently rich people, to talk to. "You will bother the master," she
+said, in Spanish. He seemed to understand, and answered, "Let the
+children stay with me. They teach me that the world might be happy."
+
+So the prattle went on, and the woman stood in the doorway, with
+other women behind her, all beaming with delight. They had known all
+their lives there was something especially remarkable about these
+children; and here was their pride confirmed! When the little ones
+laughed, and the stranger laughed with them, you should have seen
+the pleasure shining from a doorway full of dusky Mexican faces!
+
+But after a while one of the children began to rub his eyes, and the
+mother exclaimed--it was so late! The children had stayed awake
+because of the excitement, but now they must go to bed. She bundled
+them out of the room, and presently came back, bearing a glass of
+milk and a plate with bread and an orange on it. The master might be
+hungry, she said, with a humble little bow. In her halting English
+she offered to bring something to us, but she did not suppose we
+would care for poor people's food. She took it for granted that
+"poor people's food" was what Carpenter would want; and apparently
+she was right, for he ate it with relish. Meantime he tried to get
+the woman to sit on the couch beside him; but she would not sit in
+his presence--or was it in the presence of Mary and me? I had a
+feeling, as she withdrew, that she might have been glad to chat with
+him, if a million-dollar movie queen and a spoiled young club man
+had not been there to claim prior rights.
+
+
+
+XXIII
+
+
+So presently we three were alone once more; and Mary, gazing
+intently with those big dark eyes that the public knows so well,
+opened up: "Tell me, Mr. Carpenter! Have you ever been in love?"
+
+I was startled, but if Carpenter was, he gave no sign. "Mary," he
+said, "I have been in grief." Then thinking, perhaps, that he had
+been abrupt, he added: "You, Mary--you have been in love?"
+
+She answered: "No." I'm not sure if I said anything out loud, but my
+thought was easy to read, and she turned upon me. "You don't know
+what love is. But a woman knows, even though she doesn't act it."
+
+"Well, of course," I replied; "if you want to go into metaphysics--"
+
+"Metaphysics be damned!" said Mary, and turned again to Carpenter.
+
+Said he: "A good woman like you--"
+
+"_Me_?" cried Mary. And she laughed, a wild laugh. "Don't hit me
+when you've got me down! I've sold myself for every job I ever got;
+I sold myself for every jewel you saw on me this afternoon. You
+notice I've got them off now!"
+
+"I don't understand, Mary," he said, gently. "Why does a woman like
+you sell herself?"
+
+"What else has she got? I was a rat in a tenement. I could have been
+a drudge, but I wasn't made for that. I sold myself for a job in a
+store, and then for ribbons to be pretty, and then for a place in
+the chorus, and then for a speaking part--so on all the way. Now I
+portray other women selling themselves. They get fancy prices, and
+so do I, and that makes me a 'star.' I hope you'll never see my
+pictures."
+
+I sat watching this scene, marvelling more than ever. That tone in
+Mary Magna's voice was a new one to me; perhaps she had not used it
+since she played her last "speaking part!" I thought to myself,
+there was a crisis impending in the screen industry.
+
+Said Carpenter: "What are you going to do about it, Mary?"
+
+"What can I do? My contract has seven years to run."
+
+"Couldn't you do something honest? I mean, couldn't you tell an
+honest story in your pictures?"
+
+"Me? My God! Tell that to T-S, and watch his face! Why, they hunt
+all the world over for some new kind of clothes for me to take off;
+they search all history for some war I can cause, some empire I can
+wreck. Me play an honest woman? The public would call it a joke, and
+the screen people would call it indecent."
+
+Carpenter got up, and began to pace the room. "Mary," said he, "I
+once lived under the Roman empire--"
+
+"Yes, I know. I was Cleopatra, and again I was Nero's mistress while
+he watched the city burning."
+
+"Rome was rough, and crude, and poor, Mary. Rome was nothing to
+this. This is Satan on my Father's throne, making new worlds for
+himself." He paced the room again, then turned and said: "I don't
+understand this world. I must know more about it, if I am to save
+it!" There was such grief, such selfless pity in his voice as he
+repeated this: "I must know more!"
+
+"You know everything!" exclaimed Mary, suddenly. "You are all
+wisdom!"
+
+But he went on, speaking as if to himself, pondering his problem:
+"To serve others, yet not to indulge them; for the cause of their
+enslavment is that they have accepted service without return. And
+how shall one preach patience to the poor, when the masters make
+such preaching a new means of enslavement?" He looked at me, as if
+he thought that I could answer his question. Then with sudden energy
+he exclaimed: "I must meet those who are in rebellion against
+enslavement! Tomorrow I want to meet the strikers--all the strikers
+in your city."
+
+"You'll have your hands full," I said--for I was a coward, and
+wanted to keep him out of it.
+
+"How shall I find them?" he persisted.
+
+"I don't know; I suppose their headquarters are at the Labor
+Temple."
+
+"I will go there. Meantime, I fear I shall have to be alone. I need
+to think about the things I have learned."
+
+"Where are you going to stay?"
+
+"I don't know."
+
+Said Mary, hesitatingly: "My car is outside--"
+
+He answered: "In ancient days I saw the young patricians drive
+through the streets in their chariots; no, I shall not ride with
+them again."
+
+Said I: "I have an apartment at the club, with plenty of room--"
+
+"No, no, friend. I have seen enough of the masters of this city.
+From now on, if you want to see me, you will find me among the
+poor."
+
+"If I may meet you in the morning," I said--"to show you to the
+Labor Temple--" Yes, I would see him through!
+
+"By all means," said he. "But you must come early, for I cannot
+delay."
+
+"Where shall I come?"
+
+"Come here. I am sure these people will give me shelter." He looked
+about him. "I suspect that some of them sleep in this room; but they
+have a little porch outside, and if they will let me stay there I
+shall be alone, which is what I want now." After a moment, he added,
+"What I wish to do is to pray. Have you ever tried prayer, Mary?"
+
+She answered, simply, "I wouldn't know how."
+
+"Come to me, and I will teach you," he said.
+
+
+
+XXIV
+
+
+I went early next morning, but not early enough. The Mexican woman
+told me that "the master" had waited, and finally had gone. He had
+asked the way to the Labor Temple, and left word that I would find
+him there. So I stepped back into my taxi, and told the driver to
+take the most direct route.
+
+Meantime I kept watch for my friend, and I did not have to watch
+very long. There was a crowd ahead, the street was blocked, and a
+premonition came to me: "Good Lord, I'm too late--he's got into some
+new mess!" I leaned out of the window, and sure enough, there he was
+standing on the tail-end of a truck, haranguing a crowd which packed
+the street from one line of houses to the other. "And before he got
+half way to the Labor Temple!" I thought to myself.
+
+I got out, and paid the driver of the taxi, and pushed into the
+crowd. Now and then I caught a few words of what Carpenter was
+telling them, and it seemed quite harmless--that they were all
+brothers, that they should love one another, and not do one another
+injustice. What could there have been that made him think it
+necessary to deliver this message before breakfast? I looked about,
+noting that it was the Hebrew quarter of the city, plastered with
+signs with queer, spattered-up letters. I thought: "Holy smoke! Is
+he going to convert the Jews?"
+
+I pushed my way farther into the crowd, and saw a policeman, and
+went up to him. "Officer, what's this all about?" I spoke as one
+wearing the latest cut of clothes, and he answered accordingly.
+"Search me! They brought us out on a riot call, but when we got
+here, it seems to have turned into a revival meeting."
+
+I got part of the story from this policeman, and part from a couple
+of bystanders. It appeared that some Jewish lady, getting her
+shopping done early, had complained of getting short weight, and the
+butcher had ordered her out of his shop, and she had stopped to
+express her opinion of profiteers, and he had thrown her out, and
+she had stood on the sidewalk and shrieked until all the ladies in
+this crowded quarter had joined her. Their fury against soaring
+prices and wages that never kept up with them, had burst all bounds,
+and they had set out to clean up the butcher-shop with the butcher.
+So there was Carpenter, on his way to the Labor Temple, with another
+mob to quell!
+
+"You know how it is," said the policeman. "It really does cost these
+poor devils a lot to live, and they say prices are going down, but I
+can't see it anywhere but in the papers."
+
+"Well," said I, "I guess you were glad enough to have somebody do
+this job."
+
+He grinned. "You bet! I've tackled crowds of women before this, and
+you don't like to hit them, but they claw into your face if you
+don't. I guess the captain will let this bird spout for a bit, even
+if he does block the traffic."
+
+We listened for a minute. "Bear in mind, my friends, I am come among
+you; and I shall not desert you. I give you my justice, I give you
+my freedom. Your cause is my cause, world without end. Amen."
+
+"Now wouldn't that jar you?" remarked the "copper." "Holy Christ, if
+you'd hear some of the nuts we have to listen to on street-corners!
+What do you suppose that guy thinks he can do, dressed up in
+Abraham's nightshirt?"
+
+Said Carpenter: "The days of the exploiter are numbered. The thrones
+of the mighty are tottering, and the earth shall belong to them that
+labor. He that toils not, neither shall he eat, and they that grow
+fat upon the blood of the people--they shall grow lean again."
+
+"Now what do you think o' that?" demanded the guardian of authority.
+"If that ain't regular Bolsheviki talk, then I'm dopy. I'll bet the
+captain don't stand much more of that."
+
+Fortunately the captain's endurance was not put to the test. The
+orator had reached the climax of his eloquence. "The kingdom of
+righteousness is at hand. The word will be spoken, the way will be
+made clear. Meantime, my people, I bid you go your way in peace. Let
+there be no more disturbance, to bring upon you the contempt of
+those who do not understand your troubles, nor share the heartbreak
+of the poor. My people, take my peace with you!" He stretched out
+his arms in invocation, and there was a murmur of applause, and the
+crowd began slowly to disperse.
+
+Which seemed to remind my friend the policeman that he had authority
+to exercise. He began to poke his stick into the humped backs of
+poor Jewish tailors, and into the ample stomachs of fat Jewish
+housewives. "Come on now, get along with you, and let somebody else
+have a bit o' the street." I pushed my way forward, by virtue of my
+good clothes, and got through the press about Carpenter, and took
+him by the arm, saying, "Come on now, let's see if we can't get to
+the Labor Temple."
+
+
+
+XXV
+
+
+There was a crowd following us, of course; and I sought to keep
+Carpenter busy in conversation, to indicate that the crowd was not
+wanted. But before we had gone half a block I felt some one touch me
+on the arm, and heard a voice, saying, "I beg pardon, I'm a reporter
+for the 'Evening Blare'."
+
+Now, of course, I had known this must come; I had realized that I
+would be getting myself in for it, if I went to join Carpenter that
+morning. I had planned to warn him, to explain to him what our
+newspapers are; but how could I have foreseen that he was going to
+get into a riot before breakfast, and bring out the police reserves
+and the police reporters?
+
+"Excuse us," I said, coldly. "We have something urgent--"
+
+"I just want to get something of this gentleman's speech--"
+
+"We are on our way to the Labor Temple. If you will come there in a
+couple of hours, we will give you an interview."
+
+"But I must have a story for our first edition, that goes to press
+before that."
+
+I had Carpenter by the arm, and kept him firmly walking. I could not
+get rid of the reporter, but I was resolved to get my warning
+spoken, regardless of anything. Said I: "This is a matter extremely
+urgent for you to understand, Mr. Carpenter. This young man
+represents a newspaper, and anything you say to him will be read in
+the course of a few hours by perhaps a hundred thousand people. If
+it is found especially senational, the Continental Press may put it
+on its wires, and it will go to several hundred papers all over the
+country--"
+
+"Twelve hundred and thirty-seven papers," corrected the young man.
+
+"So you see, it is necessary that you should be careful what you
+say--far more so than if you were speaking to a handful of Mexican
+laborers or Jewish housewives."
+
+Said Carpenter: "I don't understand what you mean. When I speak, I
+speak the truth."
+
+"Yes, of course," I replied--and meantime I was racking my poor wits
+figuring out how to present this strange acquaintance of mine most
+tactfully to the world. I knew the reporter would not tarry long; he
+would grab a few sentences, and rush away to telephone them in.
+
+"I'll tell you what I'm free to tell," I began. "This gentleman is a
+healer, a man of very remarkable gifts. Mental healing, you
+understand."
+
+"I get you," said the reporter. "Some religion?"
+
+"Mr. Carpenter teaches a new religion."
+
+"I see. A sort of prophet! And where does he come from?"
+
+I tried to evade. "He has just arrived--"
+
+But the blood-hound of the press was not going to be evaded. "Where
+do you come from, sir?" he demanded, of Carpenter.
+
+To which Carpenter answered, promptly: "From God."
+
+"From God? Er--oh, I see. From God! Most interesting! How long ago,
+may I ask?"
+
+"Yesterday."
+
+"Oh! That is indeed extraordinary! And this mob that you've just
+been addressing--did you use some kind of mind cure on them?"
+
+I could see the story taking shape; the headlines flamed before my
+mind's eye--streamer heads, all the way across the sheet, after the
+fashion of our evening papers:
+
+PROPHET FRESH FROM GOD QUELLS MOB
+
+
+
+XXVI
+
+
+I came to a sudden decision in this crisis. The sensible thing to do
+was to meet the issue boldly, and take the job of launching
+Carpenter under proper auspices. He really was a wonderful man, and
+deserved to be treated decently.
+
+I addressed the reporter again. "Listen. This gentleman is a man of
+remarkable gifts, and does not take money for them; so, if you are
+going to tell about him at all, do it in a dignified way."
+
+"Of course! I had no other idea--"
+
+"Your city editor might have another idea," I remarked, drily.
+"Permit me to introduce myself." I gave him my name, and saw him
+start.
+
+"You mean _the_ Mr.--" Then, giving me a swift glance, he decided it
+was not necessary to complete the question.
+
+Said I: "Here is my card," and handed it to him.
+
+He glanced at it, and said, "I'll be very glad to explain matters to
+the desk, and see that the story is handled exactly as you wish."
+
+"Thank you," I replied. "Now, yesterday I was caught in that mob at
+the picture theatre, and knocked nearly insensible. This gentleman
+found me, and healed me almost instantly. Naturally, I am grateful,
+and as I find that he is a teacher, who aids the poor, and will not
+take money from anyone, I want to thank him publicly, and help to
+make him known."
+
+"Of course, of course!" said the reporter; and before my mind's eye
+flashed a new set of headlines:
+
+WEALTHY CLUBMAN MIRACULOUSLY HEALED
+
+Or perhaps it would be a double head:
+
+CLUBMAN, SLUGGED BY MOB, HEALED BY PROPHET
+
+WEALTHY SCION, VICTIM OF PICTURE RIOT, RESTORED BY MAN FRESH FROM
+GOD
+
+I thought that was sensation enough, and that the interview would
+end; but alas for my hopes! Said that blood-hound of the press:
+"Will you give public healings to the people, Mr. Carpenter?"
+
+To which Carpenter answered: "I am not interested in giving
+healings."
+
+"What? Why not?"
+
+"Worldly and corrupt people ask me to do miracles, to prove my power
+to them. But the proof I bring to the world is a new vision and a
+new hope."
+
+"Oh, I see! Your religion! May I ask about it?"
+
+"You are the first; the world will follow you. Say to the people
+that I have come to understand the nature and causes of their mobs."
+
+"Mobs?" said the puzzled young blood-hound.
+
+"I wish to understand a land which is governed by mobs; I wish to
+know, who lives upon the madness of others."
+
+"You have been studying a mob this morning?" inquired the reporter.
+
+"I ask, why do the police of Mobland put down the mobs of the poor,
+and not the mobs of the rich? I ask, who pays the police, and who
+pays the mobs."
+
+"I see! You are some kind of radical!" And with sickness of soul I
+saw another headline before my mind's eye:
+
+WEALTHY CLUBMAN AIDS BOLSHEVIK PROPHET
+
+I hastened to break in: "Mr. Carpenter is not a radical; he is a
+lover of man." But then I realized, that did not sound just right.
+How the devil was I to describe this man? How came it that all the
+phrases of brotherhood and love had come to be tainted with
+"radicalism"? I tried again: "He is a friend of peace."
+
+"Oh, really!" observed the reporter. "A pacifist, hey?" And I
+thought: "Damn the hound!" I knew, of course, that he had the rest
+of the formula in his head: "Pro-German!" Out loud I said: "He
+teaches brotherhood."
+
+But the hound was not interested in my generalities and evasions.
+"Where have you seen mobs of the rich, Mr. Carpenter?"
+
+"I have seen them whirling through the streets in automobiles,
+killing the children of the poor."
+
+"You have seen that?"
+
+"I saw it last night."
+
+Now, I had inspected our "Times" and our "Examiner" that morning,
+and noted that both, in their accounts of the accident, had given
+only the name of the chauffeur, and suppressed that of the owner. I
+understood what an amount of social and financial pressure that feat
+had taken; and here was Carpenter about to spoil it! I laid my hand
+on his arm, saying: "My friend, you were a guest in that car. You
+are not at liberty to talk about it."
+
+I expected to be argued with; but Carpenter apparently conceded my
+point, for he fell silent. It was the young reporter who spoke. "You
+were in an auto accident, I judge? We had only one report of a
+death, and that was caused by Mrs. Stebbins' car. Were you in that?"
+Then, as neither Carpenter nor I replied, he laughed. "It doesn't
+matter, because I couldn't use the story. Mr. Stebbins is one of our
+'sacred cows.' Good-day, and thank you."
+
+He started away; and suddenly all my terror of newspaper publicity
+overwhelmed me. I simply could not face the public as guardian of a
+Bolshevik! I shouted: "Young man!" And the reporter turned,
+respectfully, to listen. "I tell you, Mr. Carpenter is _not_ a
+radical! Get that clear!" And to the young man's skeptical
+half-smile I exclaimed: "He's a Christian!" At which the reporter
+laughed out loud.
+
+
+
+XXVII
+
+
+We got to the Labor Temple, and found the place in a buzz of
+excitement, over what had occurred in front of Prince's last night.
+I had suspected rough work on the part of the police, and here was
+the living evidence--men with bandages over cracked heads, men
+pulling open their shirts or pulling up their sleeves to show black
+and blue bruises. In the headquarters of the Restaurant Workers we
+found a crowd, jabbering in a dozen languages about their troubles;
+we learned that there were eight in jail, and several in the
+hospital, one not expected to live. All that had been going on,
+while we sat at table gluttonizing--and while tears were running
+down Carpenter's cheeks!
+
+It seemed to me that every third man in the crowd had one of the
+morning's newspapers in his hand--the newspapers which told how a
+furious mob of armed ruffians had sought to break its way into
+Prince's, and had with difficulty been driven off by the gallant
+protectors of the law. A man would read some passage which struck
+him as especially false; he would tell what he had seen or done, and
+he would crumple the paper in his hand and cry. "The liars! The
+dirty liars!"--adding adjectives not suitable for print.
+
+I realized more than ever that I had made a mistake in letting
+Carpenter get into this place. It was no resort for anybody who
+wanted to be patriotic, or happy about the world. All sorts of
+wonderful promises had been made to labor, to persuade it to win the
+war; and now labor came with the blank check, duly filled out
+according to its fancy--and was in process of being kicked
+downstairs. Wages were being "liquidated," as the phrase had it; and
+there was an endless succession of futile strikes, all pitiful
+failures. You must understand that Western City is the home of the
+"open shop;" the poor devils who went on strike were locked out of
+the factories, and slugged off the streets; their organizations were
+betrayed by spies, and their policies dedeviled by provocateurs. And
+all the mass of misery resulting seemed to have crowded into one
+building this bright November morning; pitiful figures, men and
+women and even a few children--for some had been turned out of their
+homes, and had no place to go; ragged, haggard, and underfed;
+weeping, some of them, with pain, or lifting their clenched hands in
+a passion of impotent fury. My friend T-S, the king of the movies,
+with all his resources, could not have made a more complete picture
+of human misery--nor one more fitted to work on the sensitive soul
+of a prophet, and persuade him that capitalist America was worse
+than imperial Rome.
+
+The arrival of Carpenter attracted no particular attention. The
+troubles of these people were too recent for them to be aware of
+anything else. All they wanted was some one to tell their troubles
+to, and they quickly found that this stranger was available for the
+purpose. He asked many questions, and before long had a crowd about
+him--as if he were some sort of government commissioner, conducting
+an investigation. It was an all day job, apparently; I hung round,
+trying to keep myself inconspicuous.
+
+Towards noon came a boy with newspapers, and I bought the early
+edition of the "Evening Blare." Yes, there it was--all the way
+across the front page; not even a big fire at the harbor and an
+earthquake in Japan had been able to displace it. As I had foreseen,
+the reporter had played up the most sensational aspects of the
+matter: Carpenter announced himself as a prophet only twenty-four
+hours out of God's presence, and proved it by healing the lame and
+the halt and the blind--and also by hypnotising everyone he spoke
+to, from a wealthy young clubman to a mob of Jewish housewives.
+Incidentally he denounced America as "Mobland," and called it a
+country governed by madmen.
+
+I took the paper to him, thinking to teach him a little worldly
+prudence. Said I: "You remember, I tried to keep out that stuff
+about mobs--"
+
+He took the sheet from my hands and looked at the headlines. I saw
+his nostrils dilate, and his eyes flash. "Mobs? This paper is a mob!
+It is the worst of your mobs!" And it fell to the floor, and he put
+his foot on the flaring print.
+
+Said he: "You talk about mobs--listen to this." Then, to one of the
+group about him: "Tell how they mobbed you!" The man thus addressed,
+a little Russian tailor named Korwsky, narrated in his halting
+English that he was the secretary of the tailors' union, and they
+had a strike, and a few days ago their offices had been raided at
+night, the door "jimmed" open and the desk rifled of all the papers
+and records. Evidently it had been done by the bosses or their
+agents, for nothing had been taken but papers which would be of use
+against the strike. "Dey got our members' list," said Korwsky. "Dey
+send people to frighten 'em back to verk! Dey call loans, dey git
+girls fired from stores if dey got jobs--dey hound 'em every way!"
+
+The speaker went on to declare that no such job could have been
+pulled off without the police knowing; yet they made no move to
+arrest the criminals. His voice trembled with indignation; and
+Carpenter turned to me.
+
+"You have mobs that come at night, with dark lanterns and burglars'
+tools!"
+
+I had noticed among the men talking to Carpenter one who bore a
+striking resemblance to him. He was tall and not too well nourished;
+but instead of the prophet's robes of white and amethyst, he wore
+the clothes of a working-man, a little too short in the sleeves; and
+where Carpenter had a soft and silky brown beard, this man had a
+skinny Adam's apple that worked up and down. He was something of an
+agitator, I judged, and he appeared to have a religious streak. "I
+am a Christian," I heard him say; "but one of the kind that speak
+out against injustice. And I can show you Bible texts for it," he
+insisted. "I can prove it by the word of God."
+
+This man's name was James, and I learned that he was one of the
+striking carpenters. The prophet turned to him, and said: "Tell him
+your story." So the other took from his pocket a greasy note-book,
+and produced a newspaper clipping, quoting an injunction which Judge
+Wollcott had issued against his union. "Read that," said he; but I
+answered that I knew about it. I remember hearing my uncle laughing
+over the matter at the dinner-table, saying that "Bobbie" Wollcott
+had forbidden the strikers to do everything but sit on air and walk
+on water. And now I got another view of "Bobbie," this time from a
+prophet fresh from God. Said the prophet: "Your judges are mobs!"
+
+
+
+XXVIII
+
+
+Soon after the noon-hour, there pushed his way into the crowd a
+young man, whom I recognized as one of the secretaries of T-S. He
+was looking for me, and told me in a whisper that his employer was
+downstairs in his car, and wanted to see Mr. Carpenter and myself
+about something important. He did not want to come up, because it
+was too conspicuous. Would we come down and take a little drive? I
+answered that I should be willing, but I knew Carpenter would
+not--he had been in an automobile accident the night before, and had
+refused to ride again.
+
+Then, said the secretary, was there some room where we could meet? I
+went to one of the officials, and asked for a vacant room where I
+could talk about a private matter with a friend. I managed to
+separate Carpenter from his crowd and took him to the room, and
+presently Everett, the secretary, came with T-S.
+
+The great man shook hands cordially with both of us; then, looking
+round to make sure that no one heard us, he began: "Mr. Carpenter, I
+told you I vould give a tousand dollars to dese strikers."
+
+The other's face, which had looked so grey and haggard, was suddenly
+illumined as if by his magical halo. "I had forgotten it! There are
+so many hungry in there; I have been watching them, wondering when
+they would be fed."
+
+"All right," said T-S. "Here you are." And reaching into his pocket,
+he produced a wad of new shiny hundred dollar notes, folded
+together. "Count 'em."
+
+Carpenter took the money in his hand. "So this is it!" he said. He
+looked at it, as if he were inspecting some strange creature from
+the wilds of Patagonia.
+
+"It's de real stuff," said T-S, with a grin.
+
+"The stuff for which men sell their souls, and women their virtue!
+For which you starve and beat and torture one another--"
+
+"Ain't it pretty?" said the magnate, not a bit embarrassed.
+
+The other began reading the writing on the notes--as you may
+remember having done in some far-off time of childhood. "Whose
+picture is this?" he asked.
+
+"I dunno," said the magnate. "De Secretary of de Treasury, I
+reckon."
+
+"But," said the other, "why not your picture, Mr. T-S?"
+
+"Mine?"
+
+"Of course."
+
+"My picture on de money?"
+
+"Why not? You are the one who makes it, and enables everyone else to
+make it."
+
+It was one of those brand new ideas that come only to geniuses and
+children. I could see that T-S had never thought of it before; also,
+that he found it interesting to think of. Carpenter went on: "If
+your picture was on it, then every one would know what it meant.
+People would say: 'Render unto T-S the things that are T-S's.' When
+you were paying off your mobs, you would pay them with your own
+money, and whenever they spent it, the people would bow to Caesar--I
+mean to T-S."
+
+He said it without the trace of a smile; and T-S had no idea there
+was a smile anywhere in the neighborhood. In a business-like tone he
+said: "I'll tink about it." Then he went on: "You give it to de
+strikers--"
+
+But Carpenter interrupted: "It was you who were going to give it. I
+cannot give nor take money."
+
+"You mean you von't take it to dem?"
+
+"I couldn't possibly do it, Mr. T-S."
+
+"But, man--"
+
+"Your promise was that _you_ would come and give it. Now do so."
+
+"But, Mr. Carpenter, if I vas to do such a ting, it vould cost me a
+million dollars. I vould git into a row vit de Merchants' and
+Manufacturers' Association, dey vould boycott my business, dey vould
+give me a black eye all over de country. You dunno vot you're
+askin', Mr. Carpenter."
+
+"I understand then--you are in business alliance with men who are
+starving these people into submission, and you are afraid to help
+them? Afraid to feed the poor!" The far-off, wondering look came
+again to his face. "The world is organized!" he said, to himself.
+"There is a mob of masters! What can I do to save the people?"
+
+T-S was unchanged in his cheerful good-nature. "You give dem a
+tousand dollars and you help a lot. Nobody can do it all."
+
+But Carpenter was not satisfied; he shook his head, sadly. "Please
+take this," he said, and pressed the roll of bills back into the
+hands of the astounded magnate!
+
+
+
+XXIX
+
+
+However, T-S had come there to get something that day, and I thought
+I knew what it was. He swallowed his consternation, and all the rest
+of his emotions. "Now, now, Mr. Carpenter! Ve ain't a-goin' to
+quarrel about a ting like dat. Dem fellers is hungry, and de money
+vill give dem vun good feed. Ve git somebody to bring it to dem, and
+we be friends shoost de same. Billy, maybe you could give it, hey?"
+
+I drew back with a laugh. "You don't get me into your quarrels!"
+
+"Vell," said T-S--and suddenly he had an inspiration. "I know. I git
+Mary Magna to give it! She's a voman!"
+
+Carpenter turned with sudden wonder. "Then women are permitted to
+have hearts?"
+
+"Shoost so, Mr. Carpenter! Ha, ha, ha! Ve business fellers--my Gawd,
+if you knew vot business is, you'd vunder we got hearts enough to
+keep our blood movin'."
+
+"Business," said Carpenter, still pondering. "Then it's business--"
+
+"Yes, business--" put in T-S. "Dat's it!" And he lowered his voice,
+and looked round once more. "It's time we vas talkin' business now!
+Mr. Carpenter, I be frank vit you, I put all my cards on de table. I
+seen de papers shoost now, vot vunderful tings you do--healin' de
+sick and quellin' de mobs and all dat--and I tink I gotta raise my
+offer, Mr. Carpenter. If you sign a contract I got here in my
+pocket, I pay you a tousand dollars a veek. Vot you say, my friend?"
+
+Carpenter did not say anything, and so the magnate began to
+expatiate upon the artistic triumphs he would achieve. "I make such
+a picture fer you as de vorld never seen before. You can do shoost
+vot you vant in dat story--all de tings you like to do, and nuttin'
+you didn't like. I never said dat to no man before, but I know you
+now, Mr. Carpenter, and all I ask you is to heal de sick and quell
+de mobs, shoost like today. I pledge you my vord--I put it in de
+contract if you say so--I make nuttin' but Bible pictures."
+
+"That is very kind of you, Mr. T-S, and I thank you for the
+compliment; but I fear you will have to get some one else to play my
+part."
+
+Said T-S: "I vant you to tink, Mr. Carpenter, vot it vould mean if
+you had a tousand dollars every week. You could feed all de babies
+of de strikers. I vouldn't care vot you did--you could feed my own
+strikers, ven I git some at Eternal City. A tousand dollars a veek
+is an awful pile o' money to have!"
+
+"I know that, my friend."
+
+"And vot's more, I pay you five tousand cash on de signin' of de
+contract. You can go right in now vit dese strikers--maybe you could
+beat Prince's vit all dat money!" Then, as Carpenter still shook his
+head: "I give you vun more raise, my friend--but dat's de last, you
+gotta believe me. I pay you fifteen hunded a veek. I aint ever paid
+so much money to a green actor in my life before, and I don't tink
+anybody else in de business ever did."
+
+But still Carpenter shook his head!
+
+"Vould you mind tellin' me vy, Mr. Carpenter?"
+
+"Not at all. You tell me that I may quell mobs for you. But there
+are mobs in your business that I could not quell."
+
+"Vot mobs?"
+
+"Among others, yourself."
+
+"Me?"
+
+"Yes--you are a mob; a mob of money! You storm the souls of men, and
+of women too. It will take a stronger force than I to quell you."
+
+"I don't git you," said T-S, helplessly; but then, thinking it over
+a bit, he went on: "I guess I'm a vulgar feller, Mr. Carpenter, and
+maybe all my pictures ain't vot you call high-brow. But if I had a
+man like you to vork vit, I could make vot you call real educational
+pictures. You're vot dey call a prophet, you got a message fer de
+vorld; vell, vy don't you let me spread it fer you? If you use my
+machinery, you can talk to a billion people. Dat's no joke--if dey
+is dat many alive, I bring 'em to you; I bring de Japs and de Chinks
+and de niggers--de vooly-headed savages vot vould eat your
+missionaries if you sent 'em. I offer you de whole vorld, Mr.
+Carpenter; and you vould be de boss!"
+
+Carpenter became suddenly grave. "My friend," said he, "a long time
+ago there was a prophet, and he was offered the world. The story is
+told us--'Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high
+mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the
+glory of them; and saith unto him, All these things will I give
+thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.' You recall that story,
+Mr. T-S?"
+
+"No," said T-S, "I ain't vun o' dese litry fellers." But he realized
+that the story was not complimentary to him, and he showed his
+chagrin. "I tell you vun ting, Mr. Carpenter, if you vas to know me
+better, you vouldn't call me a devil."
+
+And suddenly the other put his hand on the great man's shoulder. "I
+believe that, my friend; I hate the sin but love the sinner--And so,
+suppose you come to lunch with me?"
+
+"Lunch?" said T-S, taken aback.
+
+"I went to dinner with you last night. Now you come to lunch with
+me."
+
+"Vere at, Mr. Carpenter?"
+
+Said Carpenter: "When I went with you, I did not ask where."
+
+Carpenter signed to me and to Everett, the secretary, and the four
+of us went out of the room. I was as much mystified as the picture
+magnate, but I held my peace, and Carpenter led us to the elevator,
+and down to the street. "No," said he, to T-S, "there is no need to
+get into your car. The place is just around the corner." And he
+put his arm in that of the magnate, and led him down the
+street--somewhat to the embarrassment of his victim, for there was a
+crowd following us. People had read the afternoon papers by now, and
+it was no longer possible to walk along unheeded, with a prophet
+only twenty-four hours from God, who healed the sick and quelled
+mobs before breakfast. But T-S set his teeth and bore it--hoping
+this might be the way to land his contract.
+
+
+
+XXX
+
+
+We turned the corner, and soon I saw what was before us, and almost
+cried out with glee. It was really too good to be true! Carpenter,
+in the course of his talks with strikers, had learned where their
+soup-kitchen was located, the relief-headquarters where their
+families were being fed; and he now had the sublime audacity to take
+the picture magnate to lunch among them!
+
+The place was an empty warehouse, fitted with long tables, and
+benches made of planks that were old and full of splinters. Here in
+rows of twenty or thirty were seated men and women and children,
+mixed together; before each one a bowl of not very thick soup, and a
+hunk of bread, and a tin cup full of hot brown liquid, politely
+taken for coffee. It was a meal which would have been spurned by any
+of the "studio bums" of T-S's mob-scenes; but now T-S was going to
+be a good sport, and sit on a splintery plank and eat it!
+
+Nor was that all. As we pushed our way into the place, Carpenter
+turned to the magnate, and without a trace of embarrassment, said:
+"You understand, Mr. T-S, I have no money. But we must pay--"
+
+"Oh, sure!" said T-S, quickly. "I'll pay!"
+
+"Thank you," said the other; and he turned to an official of the
+union with whom he had got acquainted in the course of the morning.
+He introduced us all, not forgetting the secretary, and then said:
+"Mr. T-S is the moving picture producer, and wants to have lunch
+with you, if you will consent."
+
+"Oh, sure!" said the official, cordially.
+
+"He will pay for it," added Carpenter. "He has brought along a
+thousand dollars for that purpose."
+
+T-S started as if some one had struck him; and the official started
+too. "WHAT?"
+
+"He will pay a thousand dollars," declared Carpenter. "It is a fact,
+and you may tell the people, if you wish."
+
+"My Gawd, no!" cried T-S wildly.
+
+But the official did not heed him. He faced the crowd and stretched
+out his arms. "Boys! Boys! This is Mr. T-S, the picture producer,
+and he's come to lunch with us, and he's going to pay a thousand
+dollars for it!"
+
+There was a moment of amazed silence, then a roar from the company.
+Men leaped to their feet and yelled. And there stood poor T-S-not
+enjoying the ovation!
+
+"Give it to them," whispered Carpenter; and the magnate, thus held
+up, took out the roll of bills, and turned it over to the trembling
+official, who leaped onto a chair and waved the miracle before the
+crowd. "A thousand dollars! A thousand dollars!" He counted it over
+before their eyes and called, louder than ever, "A thousand
+dollars!"
+
+Carpenter, followed by T-S and the secretary and myself, went down
+the line of tables, shaking hands with many on the way, and being
+patted on the back by others. Also T-S shook hands, and was patted.
+Seats were found for us, and food was brought--double portions of
+it, as if to make the plight of the poor magnate even more absurd! I
+watched him out of the corner of my eye; he enjoyed that costly meal
+just about as much as Carpenter had enjoyed the one at Prince's last
+night!
+
+However, he was game, and spilled no tears into his soup; and
+Carpenter ate with honest appetite, having had no breakfast. The
+strikers about us ate as if they had missed both breakfast and
+supper; they laughed and chatted and made jokes with us--you would
+have thought they were celebrating the winning of the strike and the
+end of all their troubles. In the midst of the meal I noted two
+well-dressed young men by the door, asking questions; I chuckled to
+myself, seeing more head-lines--double ones, and extra size:
+
+PROPHET OF GOD VAMPS MOVIE KING MAGNATE OF SCREEN PAYS THOUSAND FOR
+LUNCH
+
+But I knew that T-S had never yet paid a thousand dollars without
+getting something for it, and I was not surprised when, after he had
+gulped down his meal, he turned to his host and, disregarding the
+company and the excitement, demanded, "Now, Mr. Carpenter, tell me,
+do I git de contract?"
+
+Carpenter had had his jest, and was through with it. He answered,
+gravely: "You must understand me, Mr. T-S. You don't want a contract
+with me."
+
+"I don't?"
+
+"If I were to sign it, it would not be a week before you would be
+sorry, and would be asking me to release you."
+
+"Vy is dat, Mr. Carpenter?"
+
+"Because I am going to do things which will make me quite useless to
+you in a business way."
+
+"Dat can't be true, Mr. Carpenter!"
+
+"It is true, and you will realize it soon. I assure you, it won't be
+a day before you will be ashamed of having known me."
+
+T-S was gazing at the speaker, not certain whether this was
+something very terrible, or only a polite evasion. "Mr. Carpenter,"
+he answered, "if all de vorld vas to give you up, I vouldn't!"
+
+Said Carpenter: "I tell you, before the cock crows again, you will
+deny three times that you know me." And then, without awaiting
+response from the amazed T-S, he turned to speak to the man on the
+other side of him.
+
+The magnate of the pictures sat silent, evidently frightened. At
+last he turned to me and asked, "Vot you tink he meant by dat,
+Billy?"
+
+I answered: "I think he meant that you are to play the part of
+Peter."
+
+"Peter? Peter Pan?"
+
+"No; St. Peter, who denied his master."
+
+"Vell," said T-S, patiently, "you know, I ain't vun o' dese litry
+fellers."
+
+"I'll tell it to you some time," I continued. "It's kind of funny.
+If he's right, you are going to be the first pope, and sit at the
+golden gate, holding the keys of heaven."
+
+"My Gawd!" said T-S.
+
+"And you've made a record in the movies." I added. "You've played
+Satan and St. Peter, both on the same day! That is 'doubling' with a
+vengeance!"
+
+
+
+XXXI
+
+
+When I got back to the Labor Temple, I learned that there was to be
+a mass-meeting of the strikers this Saturday evening. It had been
+planned some days ago, and now was to be turned into a protest
+against police violence and "government by injunction." There was a
+cheap afternoon paper which professed sympathy with the workers, and
+this published a manifesto, signed by a number of labor leaders,
+summoning their followers to make clear that they would no longer
+submit to "Cossack rule."
+
+It appeared now that these leaders were considering inviting
+Carpenter to become one of the speakers at their meeting. Two of
+them came up to me. I had heard this stranger speak, and did I think
+he could hold an audience? I gave assurance; he was a man of
+dignity, and would do them credit. They were afraid the newspapers
+would represent him as a freak, but of course their meeting would
+hardly fare very well in the papers anyhow. One of them asked,
+cautiously, how much of an extremist was he? Labor leaders were
+having a hard time these days to hold down the "reds," and the
+employers were not giving them any help. Did I think Carpenter would
+support the "reds"? I answered that I didn't know the labor movement
+well enough to judge, but one thing they could be sure of, he was a
+man of peace, and would not preach any sort of violence.
+
+The matter was settled a little later, when Mary Magna drove up to
+the Labor Temple in her big limousine. Mary, for the first time in
+the memory of anyone who knew her, was without her war-paint;
+dressed like a Quakeress--a most uncanny phenomenon! She had not a
+single jewel on; and before long I learned why--she had taken all
+she owned to a jeweler that morning, and sold them for something
+over six thousand dollars. She brought the money to the fund for the
+babies of the strikers; nor did she ask anyone else to hand it in
+for her. It was Mary's fashion to look the world in the eye and say
+what she was doing.
+
+T-S was still hanging about, and at first he tried to check this
+insane extravagance, but then he thought it over and grinned,
+saying, "I git my tousand dollars back in advertising!" When I
+pointed out to him what would be the interpretation placed by
+newspaper gossip on Mary's intervention in the affairs of Carpenter,
+he grinned still more widely. "Ain't he got a right to be in love
+vit Mary? All de vorld's in love vit Mary!" And of course, there was
+a newspaper reporter standing by his side, so that this remark went
+out to the world as semi-official comment!
+
+You understand that by this time the second edition of the papers
+was on the streets, and it was known that the new prophet was at the
+Labor Temple. Curiosity seekers came filtering in, among them half a
+dozen more reporters, and as many camera men. After that, poor
+Carpenter could get no peace at all. Would he please say if he was
+going to do any more healing? Would he turn a little more to the
+light--just one second, thank you. Would he mind making a group with
+Miss Magna and Mr. T-S and the "wealthy young scion"? Would he
+consent to step outside for some moving pictures, before the light
+got too dim? It was a new kind of mob--a ravening one, making all
+dignity and thought impossible. In the end I had to mount guard and
+fight the publicity-hounds away. Was it likely this man would go out
+and pose for cameras, when he had just refused fifteen hundred
+dollars a week from Mr. T-S to do that very thing? And then more
+excitement! Had he really refused such an offer? The king of the
+movies admitted that he had!
+
+We live in an age of communication; we can send a bit of news half
+way round the world in a few seconds, we can make it known to a
+whole city in a few hours. And so it was with this "prophet fresh
+from God"; in spite of himself, he was seized by the scruff of the
+neck and flung up to the pinnacle of fame! He had all the marvels of
+a lifetime crowded into one day--enough to fill a whole newspaper
+with headlines!
+
+And the end was not yet. Suddenly there was a commotion in the
+crowd, and a man pushed his way through--Korwsky, the secretary of
+the tailor's union, who, learning of Carpenter's miracles, had
+rushed all the way home, and got a friend with a delivery wagon, and
+brought his half-grown son post-haste. He bore him now in his arms,
+and poured out to Carpenter the pitiful tale of his paralyzed limbs.
+Such a gentle, good child he was; no one ever heard a complaint; but
+he had not been able to stand up for five years.
+
+So, of course, Carpenter put his hands upon the child, and closed
+his eyes in prayer; and suddenly he put him down to the ground and
+cried: "Walk!" The lad stared at him, for one wild moment, while
+people caught their breath; then, with a little choking cry, he took
+a step. There came a shout from the spectators, and then--Bang!--a
+puff as if a gun had gone off, and a flash of light, and clouds of
+white smoke rolling to the ceiling.
+
+Women screamed, and one or two threatened to faint; but it was
+nothing more dangerous than the cameraman of the Independent Press
+Service, who had hired a step-ladder, and got it set up in a corner
+of the room, ready for any climax! A fine piece of stage management,
+said his jealous rivals; others in the crowd were sure it was a put
+up job between Carpenter and Korwsky. But the labor leaders knew the
+little tailor, and they believed. After that there was no doubt
+about Carpenter's being a speaker at the mass-meeting!
+
+
+
+XXXII
+
+
+It came time when the rest of us were ready for dinner, but
+Carpenter said that he wanted to pray. Apparently, whenever he was
+tired, and had work to do he prayed. He told me that he would find
+his own way to Grant Hall, the place of the mass-meeting; but
+somehow, I didn't like the idea of his walking through the streets
+alone. I said I would call for him at seven-thirty and made him
+promise not to leave the Labor Temple until that hour.
+
+I cast about in my mind for a body-guard, and bethought me of old
+Joe. His name is Joseph Camper, and he played centre-rush with my
+elder brother in the days before they opened up the game, and when
+beef was what counted. Old Joe has shoulders like the biggest hams
+in a butcher shop, and you can trust him like a Newfoundland dog. I
+knew that if I asked him not to let anybody hurt my friend, he
+wouldn't--and this regardless of the circumstance of my friend's
+not wearing pants. Old Joe knows nothing about religion or
+sociology--only wrestling and motor-cars, and the price of wholesale
+stationery.
+
+So I phoned him to meet me, and we had dinner, and at seven-thirty
+sharp our taxi crew drew up at the Labor Temple. Half a minute
+later, who should come walking down the street but Everett, T-S's
+secretary! "I thought I'd take the liberty," he said,
+apologetically. "I thought Mr. Carpenter might say something worth
+while, and you'd be glad to have a transcript of his speech."
+
+"Why, that's very kind of you," I answered, "I didn't know you were
+interested in him."
+
+"Well, I didn't know it myself, but I seem to be; and besides, he
+told me to follow him."
+
+I went upstairs, and found the stranger waiting in the room where I
+had left him. I put myself on one side of him, and the
+ex-centre-rush on the other, with Everett respectfully bringing up
+the rear, and so we walked to Grant Hall. Many people stared at us,
+and a few followed, but no one said anything--and thank God, there
+was nothing resembling a mob! I took my prophet to the stage
+entrance of the hall, and got him into the wings; and there was a
+pathetically earnest lady waiting to give him a tract on the horrors
+of vivisection, and an old gentleman with a white beard and palsied
+hands, inviting him to a spiritualistic seance. Funniest of all,
+there was Aunt Caroline's prophet, the author of the "Eternal
+Bible," with his white robes and his permanent wave, and his little
+tribute of carrots and onions wrapped in a newspaper. I decided that
+these were Carpenter's own kind of troubles, and I left him to
+attend to them, and strolled out to have a look at the audience.
+
+The hall was packed, both the floor and the galleries; there must
+have been three thousand people. I noted a big squad of police, and
+wondered what was coming; for in these days you can never tell
+whether any public meeting is to be allowed to start, and still less
+if it is to be allowed to finish. However, the crowd was orderly,
+the only disturber being some kind of a Socialist trying to sell
+literature.
+
+I saw Mary Magna come in, with Laura Lee, another picture actress,
+and Mrs. T-S. They found seats; and I looked for the magnate, and
+saw him talking to some one near the door. I strolled back to speak
+to him, and recognized the other man as Westerly, secretary of the
+Merchants' and Manufacturers' Association. I knew what he was there
+for--to size up this new disturber Of the city's peace, and perhaps
+to give the police their orders.
+
+It was not my wish to overhear the conversation, but it worked out
+that way, partly because it is hard not to overhear T-S, and partly
+because I stopped in surprise at the first words: "Good Gawd, Mr.
+Vesterly, vy should I vant to give money to strikers? Dat's nuttin'
+but fool newspaper talk. I vent to see de man, because Mary Magna
+told me he vas a vunderful type, and I said I'd pay him a tousand
+dollars on de contract. You know vot de newspapers do vit such
+tings!"
+
+"Then the man isn't a friend of yours?" said the other.
+
+"My Gawd, do I make friends vit every feller vot I hire because he
+looks like a character part?"
+
+At this point there came up Rankin, one of T-S's directors. "Hello!"
+said he. "I thought I'd come to hear your friend the prophet."
+
+"Friend?" said T-S. "Who told you he's a friend o' mine?"
+
+"Why, the papers said--"
+
+"Vell, de papers 're nutty!"
+
+And then came one of the strikers who had been in the
+soup-kitchen--a fresh young fellow, proud to know a great man. "How
+dy'do, Mr. T-S? I hear our friend, Mr. Carpenter, is going--"
+
+"Cut out dis friend stuff!" cried T-S, irritably. "He may be
+yours--he ain't mine!"
+
+I strolled up. "Hello, T-S!" I said.
+
+"Oh, Billy! Hello!"
+
+"So you've denied him three times!"
+
+"Vot you mean?"
+
+"Three times--and the cock hasn't crowed yet! That man's a prophet
+for sure, T-S!"
+
+The magnate pretended not to understand, but the deep flush on his
+features gave him away.
+
+"How dy'do, Mr. Westerly," I said. "What do you think of Mr. T-S in
+the role of the first pope?"
+
+"You mean he's going to act?" inquired the other, puzzled.
+
+"Come off!" exclaimed Rankin, who knew better, of course.
+
+"He's going to be St. Peter," I insisted, "and hold the keys to the
+golden gate. He's planning a religious play, you know, for this
+fellow Carpenter. Maybe he might cast Mr. Westerly for a part--say
+Pontius Pilate."
+
+"Ha, ha, ha!" said the secretary of our "M. and M." "Pretty good!
+Ha, ha, ha! Gimme a chance at these bunk-shooters--I'll shut 'em up,
+you bet!"
+
+
+
+XXXIII
+
+
+The chairman of the meeting was a man named Brown, the president of
+the city's labor council. He was certainly respectable enough, prosy
+and solemn. But he was deeply moved on this question of clubbing
+strikers' heads; and you could see that the crowd was only waiting
+for a chance to shout its indignation. The chairman introduced the
+president of the Restaurant Workers, a solid citizen whom you would
+have taken for a successful grocer. He told about what had happened
+last night at Prince's; and then he told about the causes of the
+strike, and the things that go on behind the scenes in big
+restaurants. I had been to Prince's many times in my life, but I had
+never been behind the scenes, nor had I ever before been to a
+labor-meeting. I must admit that I was startled. The things they put
+into the hashes! And the distressing habit of unorganized waiters,
+when robbed of their tips or otherwise ill-treated, to take it out
+by spitting into the soup!
+
+A couple of other labor men spoke, and then came James, the
+carpenter with a religious streak. He had a harsh, rasping voice,
+and a way of poking a long bony finger at the people he was
+impressing. He was desperately in earnest, and it caused him to
+swallow a great deal, and each time his Adam's apple would jump up.
+"I'm going to read you a newspaper clipping," he began; and I
+thought it was Judge Wollcott's injunction again, but it was a story
+about one of our social leaders, Mrs. Alinson Pakenham, who has four
+famous Pekinese spaniels, worth six thousand dollars each, and
+weighing only eight ounces--or is it eighty ounces?--I'm not sure,
+for I never was trusted to lift one of the wretched little brutes.
+Anyhow, their names are Fe, Fi, Fo, and Fum, and they have each
+their own attendant, and the four have a private limousine in which
+to travel, and they dine off a service of gold plate. And here were
+hundreds of starving strikers, with their wives, also starving; and
+a couple of thousand other workers in factories and on ranches who
+were in process of having their wages "deflated." The orator quoted
+a speech of Algernon de Wiggs before the Chamber of Commerce,
+declaring that the restoration of prosperity, especially in
+agriculture, depended upon "deflation," and this alone; and suddenly
+James, the carpenter with a religious streak, launched forth:
+
+"Go to now, you rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that are
+coming upon you! Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are
+moth-eaten! Your gold and silver is cankered; and the rust on it
+shall be a witness against you, and shall eat your flesh as if it
+were fire. You have heaped treasure together for the last days.
+Behold the hire of the laborers, who have reaped your fields; you
+have kept it back by fraud, and the cries of the reapers have
+entered into the ears of the Lord! You have lived in pleasure on the
+earth, and been wanton; you have nourished your hearts, as in a day
+of slaughter. You have condemned and killed the just--"
+
+At this point in the tirade, my old friend the ex-centre-rush, who
+was standing in the wings with me, turned and whispered: "For God's
+sake, Billy, what kind of a Goddamn Bolshevik stunt is this,
+anyhow?"
+
+I answered: "Hush, you dub! He's quoting from the Bible!"
+
+
+
+XXXIV
+
+
+President Brown of the Western City Labor Council arose to perform
+his next duty as chairman. Said he:
+
+"The next speaker is a stranger to most of you, and he is also a
+stranger to me. I do not know what his doctrine is, and I assume no
+responsibility for it. But he is a man who has proven his friendship
+for labor, not by words, but by very unusual deeds. He is a man of
+remarkable personality, and we have asked him to make what
+suggestions he can as to our problems. I have pleasure in
+introducing Mr. Carpenter."
+
+Whereupon the prophet fresh from God arose from his chair, and come
+slowly to the front of the platform. There was no applause, but a
+silence made part of curiosity and part of amazement. His figure,
+standing thus apart, was majestic; and I noted a curious thing--a
+shining as of light about his head. It was so clear and so beautiful
+that I whispered to Old Joe: "Do you see that halo?"
+
+"Go on, Billy!" said the ex-centre-rush. "You're getting nutty!"
+
+"But it's plain as day, man!"
+
+I felt some one touch my arm, and saw the little lady of the
+anti-vivisection tracts peering past me. "Do you see his aura?" she
+whispered, excitedly.
+
+"Is that what it is?"
+
+"Yes. It's purple. That denotes spirituality."
+
+I thought to myself, "Good Lord, am I getting to be that sort?"
+
+Carpenter began to speak, quietly, in his grave, measured voice. "My
+brothers!" He waited for some time, as if that were enough; as if
+all the problems of life would be solved, if only men would
+understand those two words. "My brothers: I am, as your chairman
+says, a stranger to this world of yours. I do not understand your
+vast machines and your complex arts. But I know the souls of men and
+women; when I meet greed, and pride, and cruelty, the enslavements
+of the flesh, they cannot lie to me. And I have walked about the
+streets of your city, and I know myself in the presence of a people
+wandering in a wilderness. My children!--broken-hearted, desolate,
+and betrayed--poorest when you are rich, loneliest when you throng
+together, proudest when you are most ignorant--my people, I call you
+into the way of salvation!"
+
+He stretched out his arms to them, and on his face and in his whole
+look was such anguish, that I think there was no man in that whole
+great throng so rooted in self-esteem that he was not shaken with
+sudden awe. The prophet raised his hands in invocation: "Let us
+pray!" He bowed his head, and many in the audience did the same.
+Others stared at him in bewilderment, having long ago forgotten how
+to pray. Here and there some one snickered.
+
+"Oh, God, Our Father, we, Thy lost children, return to Thee, the
+Giver of Life. We bring our follies and our greeds, and cast them at
+Thy feet. We do not like the life we have lived. We wish to be those
+things which for long ages we have dreamed in vain. Wilt Thou show
+the way?"
+
+His hands sank to his sides, and he raised his head. "Such is the
+prayer. What is the answer? It has been made known: Ask, and it
+shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be
+opened unto you. For everyone that asketh receiveth; and he that
+seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.--These
+are ancient words, by many forgotten. What do they mean? They mean
+that we are children of our Father, and not slaves of earthly
+masters. Would a man make a slave of his own child? And shall man be
+more righteous than his Creator?
+
+"My brothers: You are hungry, and in need, and your children cry for
+bread; do I bid you feed them upon words? Not so; but the life of
+men is made by the will of men, and that which exists in steel and
+stone existed first in thought. If your thought is mean and base,
+your world is a place of torment; if your thought is true and
+generous, your world is free.
+
+"There was once a man who owned much land, and upon it he built
+great factories, and many thousand men toiled for him, and he grew
+fat upon the product of their labor, and his heart was high. And it
+came to pass that his workers rebelled; and he hired others, and
+they shot down the workers, so that the rest returned to their
+labor. And the master said: The world is mine, and none can oppose
+me. But one day there arose among the workers a man who laughed. And
+his laughter spread, until all the thousands were laughing; they
+said, We are laughing at the thought that we should work and you
+take the fruit of our labor. He ordered his troops to shoot them,
+but his troops were also laughing, and he could not withstand the
+laughter of so many men; he laughed also, and said, let us end this
+foolish thing.
+
+"Is there a man among you who can say, I am worthy of freedom? That
+man shall save the world. And I say to you: Make ready your hearts
+for brotherhood; for the hour draws near, and it is a shameful thing
+when man is not worthy of his destiny. A man may serve with his
+body, and yet be free, but he that is a slave in his soul admires
+the symbols of mastery, and lusts after its fruits.
+
+"What are the fruits of mastery? They are pride and pomp, they are
+luxury and wantoness and the shows of power. And who is there among
+you that can say to himself, these things have no roots in my heart?
+That man is great, and the deliverance of the world is the act of
+his will."
+
+
+
+XXXV
+
+
+The speaker paused, and turned; his gaze swept the platform, and
+those seated on it. Said he: "You are the representatives of
+organized labor. I do not know your organization, therefore I ask:
+For what are you united? Is it to follow in the footsteps of your
+masters, and bind others as they have bound you?"
+
+He waited for an answer, and the chairman, upon whom his gaze was
+fixed, cried, "No!" Others also cried, "No!" and the audience took
+it up with fervor. Carpenter turned to them. "Then I say to you:
+Break down in your hearts and in the hearts of your fellows the
+worship of those base things which mastership has brought into the
+world. If a man pile up food while others starve, is not this evil?
+If a woman deck herself with clothing to her own discomfort, is not
+this folly? And if it be folly, how shall it be admired by you, to
+whom it brings starvation and despair?
+
+"Before me sit young women of the working class. Say to yourselves:
+I tear from my fingers the jewels which are the blood and tears of
+my fellow-men; I wash the paint from my face, and from my head and
+my bosom I take the silly feathers and ribbons. I dare to be what I
+am. I dare to speak truth in a world of lies. I dare to deal
+honestly with men and women.
+
+"Before me sit young men of the working-class. I say to you: Love
+honest women. Do not love harlots, nor imitations of harlots. Do not
+admire the idle women of the ruling class, nor those who ape them,
+and thereby glorify them. Do not admire languid limbs and pouting
+lips and the signs of haughtiness and vanity, your own enslavements.
+
+"A tree is known by the fruit it gives; and the masters are known by
+the lives they give to their servants. They are known by misery and
+unemployment, by plague and famine, by wars, and the slaughter of
+the people. Let judgment be pronounced upon them!
+
+"You have heard it said: Each for himself, and the devil take the
+hindmost. But I say to you: Each for all, and the hindmost is your
+charge. I say to you: If a man will not work, let him be the one
+that hungers; if he will not serve, let him be your criminal. For if
+one man be idle, another man has been robbed; and if any man make
+display of wealth, that man has the flesh of his brothers in his
+stomach. Verily, he that lives at ease while others starve has
+blood-guilt upon him; and he that despises his fellows has committed
+the sin for which there is no pardon. He that lives for his own
+glory is a wolf, and vengeance will hunt him down; but he that loves
+justice and mercy, and labors for these things, dwells in the bosom
+of my Father.
+
+"Do not think that I am come to bring you ease and comfort; I am
+come to bring strife and discontent to this world. For the time of
+martyrdom draws near, and from your Father alone can you draw the
+strength to endure your trials. You are hungry, but you will be
+starved; you are prisoned in mills and mines, but you will be walled
+up in dungeons; you are beaten with whips, but you will be beaten
+with clubs, your flesh will be torn by bullets, your skin will be
+burned with fire and your lungs poisoned with deadly gases--such is
+the dominion of this world. But I say to you, resist in your hearts,
+and none can conquer you, for in the hearts of men lies the past and
+the future, and there is no power but love.
+
+"You say: The world is evil, and men are base; why should I die for
+them? Oh, ye of little faith, how many have died for you, and would
+you cheat mankind? If there is to be goodness in the world, some one
+must begin; who will begin with me?
+
+"My brothers: I am come to lead you into the way of justice. I bid
+you follow; not in passion and blind excitement, but as men firm in
+heart and bent upon service. For the way of self-love is easy, while
+the way of justice is hard. But some will follow, and their numbers
+will grow; for the lives of men have grown ill beyond enduring, and
+there must be a new birth of the spirit. Think upon my message; I
+shall speak to you again, and the compulsion of my law will rest
+upon you. The powers of this world come to an end, but the power of
+good will is everlasting, and the body can sooner escape from its
+own shadow than mankind can escape from brotherhood."
+
+He ceased, and a strange thing happened. Half the crowd rose to its
+feet; and they cried, "Go, on!" Twice he tried to retire to his
+seat, but they cried, "Go on, go on!" Said he, "My brothers, this is
+not my meeting, there are other speakers--" But they cried, "We want
+to hear you!" He answered, "You have your policies to decide, and
+your leaders must have their say. But I will speak to you again
+to-morrow. I am told that your city permits street speaking on
+Western City Street on Sundays. In the morning I am going to church,
+to see how they worship my Father in this city of many mobs; but at
+noon I will hold a meeting on the corner of Fifth and Western City
+Streets, and if you wish, you may hear me. Now I ask you to excuse
+me, for I am weary." He stood for a moment, and I saw that, although
+he had never raised his voice nor made a violent gesture, his eyes
+were dark and hollow with fatigue, and drops of sweat stood upon his
+forehead.
+
+He turned and left the platform, and Old Joe and I hurried around to
+join him. We found him with Korwsky the little Russian tailor whose
+son he had healed. Korwsky claimed him to spend the night at his
+home; the friend with the delivery wagon was on hand, and they were
+ready to start. I asked Carpenter to what church he was going in the
+morning, and he startled me by the reply, "St. Bartholomew's." I
+promised that I would surely be on hand, and then Old Joe and I set
+out to walk home.
+
+"Well?" said I. "What do you think of him?"
+
+The ex-centre-rush walked for a bit before he answered. "You know,
+Billy boy," said he, "we do lead rotten useless lives."
+
+"Good Lord!" I thought; it was the first sign of a soul I had ever
+noted in Old Joe! "Why," I argued, "you sell paper, and that's
+useful, isn't it?"
+
+"I don't know whether it is or not. Look at what's printed on
+it--mostly advertisements and bunk." And again we walked for a bit.
+"By the way," said the ex-centre-rush, "before he got through, I saw
+that aura, or whatever you call it. I guess I'm getting nutty, too!"
+
+
+
+XXXVI
+
+
+The first thing I did on Sunday morning was to pick up the "Western
+City Times," to see what it had done to Carpenter. I found that he
+had achieved the front page, triple column, with streamer head all
+the way across the page:
+
+PROPHET IN TOWN, HEALS SICK, RAVES AT RICH AMERICA IS MOBLAND,
+ALLEGED IN RED RIOT OF TALK
+
+There followed a half page story about Carpenter's strenuous day in
+Western City, beginning with a "Bolshevik stump speech" to a mob of
+striking tailors. It appears that the prophet had gone to the Hebrew
+quarter of the city, and finding a woman railing at a butcher
+because of "alleged extortion," had begun a speech, inciting a mob,
+so that the police reserves had to be called out, and a riot was
+narrowly averted. From there the prophet had gone to the Labor
+Temple, announcing himself to the reporters as "fresh from God,"
+with a message to "Mobland," his name for what he prophesied America
+would be under his rule. He had then healed a sick boy, the
+performance being carefully staged in front of moving picture
+cameras. The account of the "Times" did not directly charge that the
+performance was a "movie stunt," but it described it in a mocking
+way which made it obviously that. The paper mentioned T-S in such a
+way as to indicate him as the originator of the scheme, and it had
+fun with Mary Magna, pawning her paste jewels. It published the
+flash-light picture, and also a picture of Carpenter walking down
+the street, trailed by his mob.
+
+In another column was the climax, the "red riot of talk" at Grant
+Hall. James, the striking carpenter, had indulged in virulent and
+semi-insane abuse of the rich; after which the new prophet had
+stirred the mob to worse frenzies. The "Times" quoted sample
+sentences, such as: "Do not think that I am come to bring you ease
+and comfort; I am come to bring strife and disorder to this world."
+
+I turned to the editorial page, and there was a double-column
+leader, made extra impressive by leads. "AN INFAMOUS BLASPHEMY," was
+the heading. Perhaps you have a "Times" in your own city; if so, you
+will no doubt recognize the standard style:
+
+"For many years this newspaper has been pointing out to the people
+of Western City the accumulating evidence that the men who
+manipulate the forces of organized labor are Anarchists at heart,
+plotting to let loose the torch of red revolution over this fair
+land. We have clearly showed their nefarious purpose to overthrow
+the Statue of Liberty and set up in its place the Dictatorship of
+the Walking Delegate. But, evil as we thought them, we were naive
+enough to give them credit for an elemental sense of decency. Even
+though they had no respect for the works of man, we thought at least
+they would spare the works of God, the most sacred symbols of divine
+revelation to suffering humanity. But yesterday there occurred in
+this city a performance which for shameless insolence and
+blasphemous perversion exceeds anything but the wildest flight of a
+devil's imagination, and reveals the bosses of the Labor Trust as
+wanton defilers of everything that decent people hold precious and
+holy.
+
+"What was the spectacle? A moving picture producer, moved by blind,
+and we trust unthinking lust for gain, produces in our midst an
+alleged 'prophet,' dressed in a costume elaborately contrived to
+imitate and suggest a Sacred Presence which our respect for religion
+forbids us to name; he brings this vile, perverted creature forward,
+announcing himself to the newspapers as 'fresh from God,' and
+mouthing phrases of social greed and jealousy with which for the
+past few years the Hun-agents and Hun-lovers in our midst have made
+us only too sickenly familiar. This monstrous parody of divine
+compassion is escorted to that headquarters of Pro-Germanism and red
+revolution, the Labor Temple, and there performs, in the presence of
+moving picture cameras, a grotesque parody upon the laying on of
+hands and the healing of the sick. The 'Times' presents a photograph
+of this incredible infamy. We apologize to our readers for thus
+aiding the designs of cunning publicity-seekers, but there is no
+other way to make clear to the public the gross affront to decency
+which has been perpetrated, and the further affronts which are being
+planned. This appears to be a scheme for making a moving picture
+'star'; this 'Carpenter'--note the silly pun--is to become the
+latest sensation in million dollar movie dolls, and the American
+public is to be invited to pay money to witness a story of sacred
+things played by a real 'prophet' and worker of 'miracles'!"
+
+"But the worst has yet to be told. The masters of the Labor Trust,
+not to be outdone in bidding for unholy notoriety, had the insolence
+to invite this blasphemous charlatan to their riot of revolutionary
+ranting called a 'protest meeting.' He and other creatures of his
+ilk, summoning the forces which are organizing red ruin in our city,
+proceed to rave at the police and the courts for denying to mobs of
+strikers the right to throw brickbats at honest workers looking for
+jobs, and to hold the pistol of the boycott at the heads of
+employers who dare to stand for American liberty and democracy! We
+have heard much mouthing of class venom and hate in this community,
+but never have our ears been affronted by anything so unpardonable
+as this disguising of the doctrine of Lenin and Trotsky in the robes
+of Christian revelation. This 'prophet fresh from God,' as he styles
+himself, is a man of peace and brotherly love--oh, yes, of course!
+We know these wolves in sheeps' clothing, these pacifists and lovers
+of man with the gold of the Red International in their pockets, and
+slavering from their tongues the fine phrases of idealism which
+conveniently protect them from the strong hand of the law! We have
+seen their bloody work for four years in Russia, and we tell them
+that if they expect to prepare the confiscation of property and the
+nationalization of women in this country while disguising themselves
+in moving picture imitations of religion, they are grossly
+underestimating the intelligence of the red-blooded citizens of this
+great republic. We shall be much mistaken if the order-loving and
+patriotic people of our Christian community do not find a way to
+stamp their heel upon this vile viper before its venom shall have
+poisoned the air we breathe."
+
+
+
+XXXVII
+
+
+Then I picked up the "Examiner." Our "Examiner" does not go in so
+much for moral causes; it is more interested in getting circulation,
+for which it relies upon sensation, and especially what it calls
+"heart interest," meaning sex. It had found what it wanted in this
+story, as you may judge by the headlines:
+
+MOVIE QUEEN PAWNS JEWELS FOR PROPHET OF GOD
+
+Then followed a story of which Mary Magna was the centre, with T-S
+and myself for background. The reporter had hunted out the Mexican
+family with which Carpenter had spent the night, and he drew a
+touching picture of Carpenter praying over Mary in this humble home,
+and converting her to a better life. Would the "million dollar
+vamp," as the "Examiner" called her, now take to playing only
+religious parts? Mary was noncommittal on the point; and pending her
+decision, the "Examiner" published her portraits in half a dozen of
+her most luxurious roles--for example, as Salome after taking off
+the seventh veil. Side by side with Carpenter, that had a real
+"punch," you may believe!
+
+The telephone rang, and there was the voice of T-S, fairly raving.
+He didn't mind the "Examiner" stuff; that was good business, but
+that in the "Times"--he was going to sue the "Times" for a million
+dollars, by God, and would I back him in his claim that he had not
+put Carpenter up to the healing business?
+
+After a bit, the magnate began apologizing for his repudiation of
+the prophet. He was in a position, just now with these hard times,
+where the Wall Street crowd could ruin him if he got in bad with
+them. And then he told me a curious story. Last night, after the
+meeting, young Everett, his secretary, had come to him and asked if
+he could have a couple of months' leave of absence without pay. He
+was so much interested in Carpenter that he wanted to follow him and
+help him!
+
+"Y' know, Billy," said the voice over the phone, "y' could a'
+knocked me over vit a fedder! Dat young feller, he vas alvays so
+quiet, and such a fine business feller, I put him in charge of all
+my collections. I said to him, 'Vot you gonna do?' And he said, 'I
+gonna learn from Mr. Carpenter.' Says I, 'Vot you gonna learn?' and
+he says, 'I gonna learn to be a better man.' Den he vaits a minute,
+and he says, 'Mr. T-S, he _told_ me to foller him!' J' ever hear de
+like o' dat?"
+
+"What did you say?"
+
+"Vot could I say? I vanted to say, 'Who's givin' you de orders?' But
+I couldn't, somehow! I hadda tell him to go ahead, and come back
+before he forgot all my business."
+
+I dressed, and had my breakfast, and drove to St. Bartholomew's. It
+was a November morning, bright and sunny, as warm as summer; and it
+is always such a pleasure to see that goodly company of ladies and
+gentlemen, so perfectly groomed, so perfectly mannered, breathing a
+sense of peace and well being. Ah, that wonderful sense of well
+being! "God's in His Heaven, all's right with the world!" And what a
+curious contrast with the Labor Temple! For a moment I doubted
+Carpenter; surely these ladies with their decorative bonnets, their
+sweet perfumes, their gowns of rose and lilac and other pastel
+shades--surely they were more important life-products than women in
+frowsy and dowdy imitation clothes! Surely it was better to be
+serene and clean and pleasant, than to be terrible and bewildered,
+sick and quarrelsome! I was seized by a frenzy, a sort of
+instinctive animal lust for this life of ease and prettiness. No
+matter if those dirty, raucous-voiced hordes of strikers, and others
+of their "ilk"--as the "Times" phrased it--did have to wash my
+clothes and scrub my floors, just so that _I_ stayed clean and
+decent!
+
+I bowed to a score or two of the elegant ladies, and to their
+escorts in shiny top hats and uncreased kid gloves, and went into
+the exquisite church with its glowing stained glass window, and
+looked up over the altar--and there stood Carpenter! I tell you, it
+gave me a queer shock. There he was, up in the window, exactly where
+he had always been; I thought I had suddenly wakened from a dream.
+There had been no "prophet fresh from God," no mass-meeting at Grant
+Hall, no editorial in the "Times"! But suddenly I heard a voice at
+my elbow: "Billy, what is this awful thing you've been doing?" It
+was my Aunt Caroline, and I asked what she meant, and she answered,
+"That terrible prophet creature, and getting your name into the
+papers!"
+
+So I knew it was true, and I walked with my dear, sweet old auntie
+down the aisle, and there sat Aunt Jennie, with her two lanky girls
+who have grown inches every time I run into them; and also Uncle
+Timothy. Uncle Timothy was my guardian until I came of age, so I am
+a little in awe of him, and now I had to listen to his whispered
+reproaches--it being the first principle of our family never to "get
+into the papers." I told him that it wasn't my fault I had been
+knocked down by a mob, and surely I couldn't help it if this man
+Carpenter found me while I was unconscious, and made me well. Nor
+could I fail to be polite to my benefactor, and try to help him
+about. My Uncle Timothy was amazed, because he had accepted the
+"Times" story that it was all a "movie" hoax. Everybody will tell
+you in Western City that they "never believe a word they read in the
+'Times'"; but of course they do--they have to believe something, and
+what else have they?
+
+I was trying to think about that picture over the altar. Of course,
+they would naturally have replaced it! I wondered who had found old
+de Wiggs up there; I wondered if he knew about it, and if he had any
+idea who had played that prank. I looked to his pew; yes, there he
+sat, rosy and beaming, bland as ever! I looked for old Peter Dexter,
+president of the Dexter Trust company--yes, he was in his pew,
+wizened and hunched up, prematurely bald. And Stuyvesant Gunning, of
+the Fidelity National--they were all here, the masters of the city's
+finance and the pillars of "law and order." Some wag had remarked if
+you wanted to call directors' meeting after the service, you could
+settle all the business of Western City in St. Bartholomew's!
+
+The organ pealed and the white-robed choir marched in, bearing the
+golden crosses, and followed by the Reverend Dr. Lettuce-Spray,
+smooth-shaven, plump and beautiful, his eyes bent reverently on the
+floor. They were singing with fervor that most orthodox of hymns:
+
+The church's one foundation Is Jesus Christ, her Lord.
+
+It is a beautiful old service, as you may know, and I had been
+taught to love it and thrill to it as a little child, and we never
+forget those things. Peace and propriety are its keynotes; order and
+dignity, combined with sensuous charm. Everyone knows his part, and
+it moves along like a beautiful machine. I knelt and prayed, and
+then sat and listened, and then stood and sang--over and over for
+perhaps three-quarters of an hour. We came to the hymn which
+precedes the sermon, and turning to the number, we obediently
+proclaimed:
+
+The Son of God goes forth to war A kingly crown to gain: His
+blood-red banner streams afar: Who follows in His train?
+
+During the singing of the last verse, the Reverend Lettuce-Spray had
+moved silently into the pulpit. After the choir had sung "Amen," he
+raised his hands in invocation--and at that awesome moment I saw
+Carpenter come striding up the aisle!
+
+
+
+XXXVIII
+
+
+He knew just where he was going, and walked so fast that before
+anyone had time to realize what was happening, he was on the altar
+steps, and facing the congregation. You could hear the gasp of
+amazement; he was so absolutely identical with the painted figure
+over his head, that if he had remained still, you could not have
+told which was painting and which was flesh and blood. The rector in
+the pulpit stood with his mouth open, staring as if seeing a ghost.
+
+The prophet stretched out both his hands, and pointed two accusing
+fingers at the congregation. His voice rang out, stern and
+commanding: "Let this mockery cease!" Again he cried: "What do ye
+with my Name?" And pointing over his head: "Ye crucify me in stained
+glass!"
+
+There came murmurs from the congregation, the first mutterings of a
+storm. "Oh! Outrageous! Blasphemy!"
+
+"Blasphemy?" cried Carpenter. "Is it not written that God dwelleth
+not in temples made with hands? Ye have built a temple to Mammon,
+and defile the name of my Father therein!"
+
+The storm grew louder. "This is preposterous!" exclaimed my uncle
+Timothy at my side. And the Reverend Lettuce-Spray managed to find
+his voice. "Sir, whoever you are, leave this church!"
+
+Carpenter turned upon him. "You give orders to me--you who have
+brought back the moneychangers into my Father's temple?" And
+suddenly he faced the congregation, crying in a voice of wrath:
+"Algernon de Wiggs! Stand up!"
+
+Strange as it may seem, the banker rose in his pew; whether under
+the spell of Carpenter's majestic presence, or preparing to rush at
+him and throw him out, I could not be sure. The great banker's face
+was vivid scarlet.
+
+And Carpenter pointed to another part of the congregation. "Peter
+Dexter! Stand up!" The president of the Dexter Trust Company also
+arose, trembling as if with palsy, mumbling something, one could not
+tell whether protest or apology.
+
+"Stuyvesant Gunning! Stand up!" And the president of the Fidelity
+National obeyed. Apparently Carpenter proposed to call the whole
+roll of financial directors; but the procedure was halted suddenly,
+as a tall, white-robed figure strode from its seat near the choir.
+Young Sidney Simpkinson, assistant to the rector, went up to
+Carpenter and took him by the arm.
+
+"Leave this house of God," he commanded.
+
+The other faced him. "It is written, Thou shalt not take the name of
+the Lord thy God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless
+that taketh His name in vain."
+
+Young Simpkinson wasted no further words in parley. He was an
+advocate of what is known as "muscular Christianity," and kept
+himself in trim playing on the parish basket-ball team. He flung his
+strong arms about Carpenter, and half carrying him, half walking
+him, took him down the steps and down the aisle. As he went,
+Carpenter was proclaiming: "It is written, My house shall be called
+a house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves. He that
+steals little is called a pickpocket, but he that steals much is
+called a pillar of the church. Verily, he that deprives the laborer
+of the fruit of his toil is more dangerous than he that robs upon
+the highway; and he that steals the state and the powers of
+government is the father of all thieves."
+
+By that time, the prophet had been hustled two-thirds down the
+aisle; and then came a new development. Unobserved by anyone, a
+number of Carpenter's followers had come with him into the church;
+and these, seeing the way he was being handled, set up a cry: "For
+shame! For shame!" I saw Everett, secretary to T-S, and Korwsky,
+secretary of the tailor's union; I saw some one leap at Everett and
+strike him a ferocious blow in the teeth, and two other men leap
+upon the little Russian and hurl him to the ground.
+
+I started up, involuntarily. "Oh, shame! Shame!" I cried, and would
+have rushed out into the aisle. But I had to pass my uncle, and he
+had no intention of letting me make myself a spectacle. He threw his
+arms about me, and pinned me against the pew in front; and as he is
+one of the ten ranking golfers at the Western City Country Club, his
+embrace carried authority. I struggled, but there I stayed,
+shouting, "For shame! For shame!" and my uncle exclaiming, in a
+stern whisper, "Shut up! Sit down, you fool!" and my Aunt Caroline
+holding onto my coat-tails, crying, and my aunt Jennie threatening
+to faint.
+
+The melee came quickly to an end, for the men of the congregation
+seized the half dozen disturbers and flung them outside, and mounted
+guard to make sure they did not return. I sank back into my seat, my
+worthy uncle holding my arm tightly with both hands, lest I should
+try to make my escape over the laps of Aunt Caroline and Aunt
+Jennie.
+
+All this time the Reverend Lettuce-Spray had been standing in the
+pulpit, making no sound. Now, as the congregation settled back into
+order, he said, with the splendid, conscious self-possession of one
+who can remain "equal to the occasion": "We will resume the
+service." And he opened his portfolio, and spread out his manuscript
+before him, and announced:
+
+"Our text for the morning is the fifth chapter of the gospel
+according to St. Matthew, the thirty-ninth and fortieth verses: 'But
+I say unto you, that ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite
+thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man
+shall sue thee at law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy
+cloak also."
+
+
+
+XXXIX
+
+
+I sat through the sermon, and the offertory, and the recessional.
+After that my uncle tried to detain me, to warn and scold me; but he
+no longer used physical force, and nothing but that would have held
+me. At the door I asked one of the ushers what had become of the
+prophet, thinking he might be in jail. But the answer was that the
+gang had gone off, carrying their wounded; so I ran round the corner
+to where my car was parked, and within ten minutes I was on Western
+City Street, where Carpenter had announced that he would speak.
+
+There had been nothing said about the proposed meeting in the
+papers, and no one knew about it save those who had been present at
+Grant Hall. But it looked as if they had told everyone they knew,
+and everyone they had told had come. The wide street was packed
+solid for a block, and in the midst of this throng stood Carpenter,
+upon a wagon, making a speech.
+
+There was no chance to get near, so I bethought me of an alley which
+ran parallel to the street. There was an obscure hotel on the
+street, and I entered it through the rear entrance, and had no
+trouble in persuading the clerk to let me join some of the guests of
+the hotel who were watching the scene from the second story windows.
+
+The first thing which caught my attention was the figure of Everett,
+seated on the floor of the wagon from which the speech was being
+made. I saw that his face was covered with blood; I learned later
+that he had three teeth knocked out, and his nose broken.
+Nevertheless, there he was with his stenographer's notebook, taking
+down the prophet's words. He told me afterwards that he had taken
+even what Carpenter said in the church. "I've an idea he won't last
+very long," was the way he put it; "and if they should get rid of
+him, every word he's said will be precious. Anyhow, I'm going to get
+what I can."
+
+Also I saw Korwsky, lying on the floor of the wagon, evidently
+knocked out; and two other men whom I did not know, nursing battered
+and bloody faces. Having taken all that in at a glance, I gave my
+attention to what Carpenter was saying.
+
+He was discussing churches and those who attend them. Later on, my
+attention was called to the curious fact that his discourse was
+merely a translation into modern American of portions of the
+twenty-third chapter of St. Matthew; a free adaptation of those
+ancient words to present day practices and conditions. But I had no
+idea of this while I listened; I was shocked by what seemed to me a
+furious tirade, and the guests of the hotel were even more
+shocked--I think they would have taken to throwing things out of the
+windows at the orator, had it not been for their fear of the crowd.
+Said Carpenter:
+
+"The theologians and scholars and the pious laymen fill the leisure
+class churches, and it would be all right if you were to listen to
+what they preach, and do that; but don't follow their actions, for
+they never practice what they preach. They load the backs of the
+working-classes with crushing burdens, but they themselves never
+move a finger to carry a burden, and everything they do is for show.
+They wear frock-coats and silk hats on Sundays, and they sit at the
+speakers' tables at the banquets of the Civic Federation, and they
+occupy the best pews in the churches, and their doings are reported
+in all the papers; they are called leading citizens and pillars of
+the church. But don't you be called leading citizens, for the only
+useful man is the man who produces. (Applause.) And whoever exalts
+himself shall be abased, and whoever humbles himself shall be
+exalted.
+
+"Woe unto you, doctors of divinity and Catholics, hypocrites! for
+you shut up the kingdom of heaven against men; you don't go in
+yourself and you don't let others go in. Woe unto you, doctors of
+divinity and Presbyterians, hypocrites! for you foreclose mortgages
+on widows' houses, and for a pretense you make long prayers. For
+this you will receive the greater damnation! Woe unto you, doctors
+of divinity and Methodists, hypocrites! for you send missionaries to
+Africa to make one convert, and when you have made him, is twice as
+much a child of hell as yourselves. (Applause.) Woe unto you, blind
+guides, with your subtleties of doctrine, your transubstantiation
+and consubstantiation and all the rest of it; you fools and blind!
+Woe unto you, doctors of divity and Episcopalians, hypocrites! for
+you drop your checks into the collection-plate and you pay no heed
+to the really important things in the Bible, which are justice and
+mercy and faith in goodness. You blind guides, who choke over a fly
+and swallow a flivver! (Laughter.) Woe unto you, doctors of divinity
+and Anglicans, hypocrites! for you dress in immaculate clothing kept
+clean by the toil of frail women, but within you are full of
+extortion and excess. You blind high churchmen, clean first your
+hearts, so that the clothes you wear may represent you. Woe unto
+you, doctors of divinity and Baptists, hypocrites! for you are like
+marble tombs which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are
+full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness. Even so you appear
+righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.
+(Applause.) Woe unto you doctors of divinity and Unitarians,
+hypocrites! because you erect statues to dead reformers, and put
+wreaths upon the tombs of old-time martyrs. You say, if we had been
+alive in those days, we would not have helped to kill those good
+men. That ought to show you how to treat us at present. (Laughter.)
+But you are the children of those who killed the good men; so go
+ahead and kill us too! You serpents, you generation of vipers, how
+can you escape the damnation of hell?"
+
+
+
+XL
+
+
+When Carpenter stopped speaking, his face was dripping with sweat,
+and he was pale. But the eager crowd would not let him go. They
+began to ask him questions. There were some who wanted to know what
+he meant by saying that he came from God, and some who wanted to
+know whether he believed in the Christian religion. There were
+others who wanted to know what he thought about political action,
+and if he really believed that the capitalists would give up without
+using force. There was a man who had been at the relief kitchen, and
+noted that he ate soup with meat in it, and asked if this was not
+using force against one's fellow creatures. The old gentleman who
+represented spiritualism was on hand, asking if the dead are still
+alive, and if so, where are they?
+
+Then, before the meeting was over, there came a sick man to be
+healed; and others, pushing their way through the crowd, clamoring
+about the wagon, seeking even to touch the hem of Carpenter's
+garments. After a couple of hours of this he announced that he was
+worn out. But it was a problem to get the wagon started; they could
+only move slowly, the driver calling to the people in front to make
+room. So they went down the street, and I got into my car and
+followed at a distance. I did not know where they were going, and
+there was nothing I could do but creep along--a poor little rich boy
+with a big automobile and nobody to ride in it, or to pay any
+attention to him.
+
+The wagon drove to the city jail; which rather gave me a start,
+because I had been thinking that the party might be arrested at any
+minute, on complaint to the police from the church. But apparently
+this did not trouble Carpenter. He wished to visit the strikers who
+had been arrested in front of Prince's restaurant. He and several
+others stood before the heavy barred doors asking for admission,
+while a big crowd gathered and stared. I sat watching the scene,
+with phrases learned in earliest childhood floating through my mind:
+"I was sick, and ye visited me; I was in prison, and ye came unto
+me."
+
+But it appeared that Sunday was not visitors' day at the jail, and
+the little company was turned away. As they climbed back into the
+wagon, I saw two husky fellows come from the jail, a type one learns
+to know as plain clothes men. "Why won't they let him in?" cried
+some one in the crowd; and one of the detectives looked over his
+shoulder, with a sneering laugh: "We'll let him in before long,
+don't you worry!"
+
+The wagon took up its slow march again. It was a one-horse
+express-cart, belonging, as I afterwards learned, to a compatriot of
+Korwsky the tailor. This man, Simon Karlin, earned a meager living
+for himself and his family by miscellaneous delivery in his
+neighborhood; but now he was so fascinated with Carpenter that he
+had dropped everything in order to carry the prophet about. I
+mention it, because next day in the newspapers there was much fun
+made of this imitation man of God riding about town in a half
+broken-down express-wagon, hauled by a rickety and spavined old nag.
+
+The company drove to one of the poorer quarters of the city, and
+stopped before a workingman's cottage on a street whose name I had
+never heard before. I learned that it was the home of James, the
+striking carpenter, and on the steps were his wife and a brood of
+half a dozen children, and his old father and mother, and several
+other people unidentified. There were many who had walked all the
+way following the wagon, and others gathered quickly, and besought
+the prophet to speak to them, and to heal their sick. Apparently his
+whole life was to consist of that kind of thing, for he found it
+hard to refuse any request. But finally he told them he must be
+quiet, and went inside, and James mounted guard at the door, and I
+sat in my car and waited until the crowd had filtered away. There
+was no good reason why I should have been admitted, but James
+apparently was glad to see me, and let me join the little company
+that was gathered in his home.
+
+There was Everett, who had now washed the blood off his face, but
+had not been able to put back his lost teeth, nor to heal the
+swollen mass that had once been his upper lip and nose. And there
+was Korwsky, who was now able to sit up and smile feebly, and two
+other men, whose names I did not learn, nursing battered faces.
+Carpenter prayed over them all, and they became more cheerful, and
+eager to talk about the adventure, each telling over what had
+happened to him. I noted that Everett, in spite of what must have
+been intense pain, was still faithfully taking down every word the
+prophet uttered.
+
+It had been known that Carpenter was to honor this house with his
+presence, and the family were all dressed in their best, and had got
+together a supper, in spite of hard times and strikes. We had
+sandwiches and iced tea and a slice of pie for each of us, and I was
+interested to observe that the prophet, tired as he was, liked to
+laugh and chat over his food, exactly like any uninspired human
+being. He never failed to get the children around him and tell them
+stories, and hear their bright laughter.
+
+
+
+XLI
+
+
+But, of course, serious things kept intruding. Karlin the express
+driver, had a sick wife, and Carpenter heard about her and insisted
+upon going to see her. Apparently there was no end to this business
+of the poor being sick. It was a new thing to me--this world
+swarming with dirty and miserable and distracted people. Of course,
+I had known about "the poor," but always either in the abstract, or
+else as an individual, or a family, that one could help. But here
+was a new world, thickly peopled, swarming; that was the terrible
+part of it--the vastness of it, the thickness of the population in
+these regions of "the poor." It was like some sort of delirium; like
+being lost in a wilderness, of which the trees were miseries, and
+deformities, and pains! I could understand to the full Carpenter's
+feeling when he put his hands to his forehead, exclaiming: "There is
+so much to do and so few to do it! Pray to God, that he will send
+some to help us!"
+
+When he returned from Simon Karlin's, he brought with him the
+latter's wife, whom he had healed of a fever; and here was another
+of the company whom he insisted upon helping--"Comrade" Abell, one
+of the men I had noticed at the meeting last night, and who appeared
+to be done up. This man, I learned, was secretary of the Socialist
+local of Western City. I had known there were Socialists in the
+city, just as I knew there were poor, but I had never seen one, and
+was curious about Abell. He was a lawyer; and that might suggest to
+you a certain type of person, brisk and well dressed--but
+apparently Socialist lawyers are not true to type. Comrade Abell was
+a shy, timid little man, with black hair straggling about his ears,
+and sometimes into his eyes. He had a gentle, pathetic face, and his
+voice was melancholy and caressing. He was clad in a frock coat of
+black broadcloth, which had once been appropriate for Sunday; but I
+should judge it had been worn for twenty years, for it was green
+about the collar and the cuffs and button-holes.
+
+Comrade Abell's office and also his home were in a second story,
+over a grocery-store in this neighborhood, and here also was a
+little hall used as a meeting-place by the Socialists. Every
+Saturday night Abell and two or three of his friends conducted a
+soap-box meeting on Western City Street, and gave away propaganda
+leaflets and sold a few pamphlets and books. He had had quite a
+supply of literature of all kinds at his office, nearly two thousand
+dollars worth, he told Carpenter, but a few months previously the
+place had been mobbed. A band of ex-service men, accompanied by a
+few police and detectives, had raided it and terrified the wife and
+children by breaking down the doors and throwing the contents of
+desks and bureaus out on the floor. They had dumped the literature
+into a truck and carted it away, and after two or three weeks they
+had dumped it back again, having found nothing criminal in it. "But
+they ruined it so that it can't be sold!" broke in James,
+indignantly. "Most of it was bought on credit, and how can we pay
+for it."
+
+James was also a Socialist, it appeared, while Korwsky and his
+friend Karlin advocated "industrial action," and these fell to
+arguing over "tactics," while Carpenter asked questions, so as to
+understand their different points of view. Presently Korwsky was
+called out of the room, and came back with an announcement which he
+evidently considered grave. John Colver was in the neighborhood, and
+wanted to know if Carpenter would meet him.
+
+"Who is John Colver?" asked the prophet. And it was explained that
+this was a dangerous agitator, now under sentence of twenty years in
+jail, but out on bail pending the appeal of his case to the supreme
+court. Colver was a "wobbly," well known as one of their poets. Said
+Korwsky, "He tinks you vouldn't like to know him, because if de
+spies find it out, dey vould git after you."
+
+"I will meet any man," said Carpenter. "My business is to meet men."
+And so in a few minutes the terrible John Colver was escorted into
+the room.
+
+Now, every once in a while I had read in the "Times" how another
+bunch of these I.W.W's. were put on trial, and how they were
+insolent to the judge, and how it was proved they had committed many
+crimes, and how they were sentenced to fourteen years in State's
+prison under our criminal syndicalism act. Needless to say, I had
+never seen one of these desperate men; but I had a quite definite
+idea what they looked like--dark and sinister creatures, with
+twisted mouths and furtive eyes. I knew that, because I had seen a
+couple of moving picture shows in which they figured. But now for
+the first time I met one, and behold, he was an open-faced, laughing
+lad, with apple cheeks and two most beautiful rows of even white
+teeth that gleamed at you!
+
+"Fellow-worker Carpenter!" he cried; and caught the prophet by his
+two hands. "You are an old friend of ours, though you may not know
+it! We drink a toast to you in our jungles."
+
+"Is that so?" said Carpenter.
+
+"I suppose I really have no right to see you," continued the other,
+"because I'm shadowed all the time, and you know my organization is
+outlawed."
+
+"Why is it outlawed?"
+
+"Well," said Colver, "they say we burn crops and barns, and drive
+copper-nails into fruit-trees, and spikes into sawmill lumber."
+
+"And do you do that?"
+
+Colver laughed his merry laugh. "We do it just as often as you act
+for the movies, Fellow-worker Carpenter!"
+
+"I see," said Carpenter. "What do you really do?"
+
+"What we really do is to organize the unskilled workers."
+
+"For what do you organize them?"
+
+"So that they will be able to run the industries when the system of
+greed breaks down of its own rottenness."
+
+"I see," said the prophet, and he thought for a moment. "It is a
+slave revolt!"
+
+"Exactly," said the other.
+
+"I know what they do to slave revolts, my brother. You are fortunate
+if they only send you to prison."
+
+"They do plenty more than that," said Colver. "I will give you our
+pamphlet, 'Drops of Blood,' and you may read about some of the
+lynching and tarring and feathering and shooting of Mobland." His
+eyes twinkled. "That's a dandy name you've hit on! I shall be
+surprised if it doesn't stick."
+
+Carpenter went on questioning, bent upon knowing about this outlaw
+organization and its members. It was clear before long that he had
+taken a fancy to young John Colver. He made him sit beside him, and
+asked to hear some of his poetry, and when he found it really vivid
+and beautiful, he put his arm about the young poet's shoulders.
+Again I found memories of old childhood phrases stirring in my mind.
+Had there not once been a disciple named John, who was especially
+beloved?
+
+
+
+XLII
+
+
+Presently the young agitator began telling about an investigation he
+had been making in the lumber country of the Northwest. He was
+writing a pamphlet on the subject of a massacre which had occurred
+there. A mob of ex-soldiers had stormed the headquarters of the
+"wobblies," and the latter had defended themselves, and killed two
+or three of their assailants. A news agency had sent out over the
+country a story to the effect that the "wobblies" had made an
+unprovoked assault upon the ex-soldiers. "That's what the papers do
+to us!" said John Colver. "There have been scores of mobbings as a
+result, and just now it may be worth a man's life to be caught
+carrying a red card in any of these Western states."
+
+So there was the subject of non-resistance, and I sat and listened
+with strangely mingled feelings of sympathy and repulsion, while
+this group of rebels of all shades and varieties argued whether it
+was really possible for the workers to get free without some kind of
+force. Carpenter, it appeared, was the only one in the company who
+believed it possible. The gentle Comrade Abell was obliged to admit
+that the Socialists, in using political action, were really
+resorting to force in a veiled form. They sought to take possession
+of the state by voting; but the state was an instrument of force,
+and would use force to carry out its will. "You are an anarchist!"
+said the Socialist lawyer, addressing Carpenter.
+
+To my surprise Carpenter was not shocked by this.
+
+"If I admit no power but love," said he, "how can I have anything to
+do with government?"
+
+More visitors called, and were admitted, and presently the little
+room was packed with people, and a regular meeting was in progress.
+I heard more strange ideas than I had ever known existed in the
+world. I tried not to be offended; but I thought there ought to be
+at least a few words said for plain ordinary human beings who carry
+no labels, so I ventured now and then to put in a mild
+suggestion--for example, that there were quite a few people in the
+world who did not love all their neighbors, and could not be
+persuaded to love them all at once, and it might be necessary to put
+just a little restraint upon them for a time. Again I suggested,
+maybe the workers were not yet sufficiently educated to run the
+industries, they might need some help from the present masters.
+"Just a little more education," I ventured--
+
+And John Colver laughed, the first ugly laugh I had heard from him.
+"Education by the masters? Education at the end of a club!"
+
+"My boy," I argued, "I know there are plenty of employers who are
+rough, but there are others who are good men, who would like to
+change the system, would like to do something, if they knew what it
+was. But who will tell them what to do? Take me, for example. I have
+a great deal of wealth which I have not earned; but what can I do
+about it? What do you say, Mr. Carpenter?"
+
+I turned to him, as the true authority; and the others also turned
+to him. He answered, without hesitation: "Sell everything that you
+have and give it to the unemployed."
+
+"But," said I, "would that really solve the problem. They would
+spend it, and we should be right where we were before."
+
+Said Carpenter: "They are unemployed because you have taken from
+them wealth which you have not earned. Give it back to them."
+
+And then, seeing that I was not satisfied, he added: "How hard it is
+for a rich man to understand the meaning of social justice! Indeed,
+it would be easier for a strike leader to get the truth published in
+your 'Times', than for a rich man to understand what the word social
+justice means."
+
+The company laughed, and I subsided, and let the wave of
+conversation roll by. It was only later that I realized the part I
+had just been playing. It had been easy for me to recognize T-S as
+St. Peter, but I had not known myself as that rich young man who had
+asked for advice, and then rejected it. "When he heard this, he was
+very sorrowful; for he was very rich." Yes, I had found my place in
+the story!
+
+
+
+XLIII
+
+
+You may believe that next morning my first thought was to get hold
+of the "Times" and see what they had done to my prophet. Sure
+enough, there he was on the front page, three columns wide, with the
+customary streamer head:
+
+MOB OF ANARCHISTS RAID ST. BARTHOLMEW'S
+
+PROPHET AND RAGGED HORDE BREAK UP CHURCH SERVICES
+
+I skimmed over the story quickly; I noted that Carpenter was
+represented as having tried to knock down the Reverend Mr.
+Simpkinson, and that the prophet's followers had assaulted members
+of the congregation. I confess to some relief upon discovering that
+my own humble part in the adventure had not been mentioned. I
+suspected that my Uncle Timothy must have been busy at the telephone
+on Sunday evening! But then I turned to the "Examiner," and alas,
+there I was! "A certain rich young man," rising up to protect an
+incendiary prophet! I remembered that my Uncle Timothy had had a
+violent row with the publisher of the "Examiner" a year or two ago,
+over some political appointment!
+
+The "Times" had another editorial, two columns, double leaded.
+Yesterday the paper had warned the public what to expect; today it
+saw the prophecies justified, and what it now wished to know was,
+had Western City a police department, or had it not? "How much
+longer do our authorities propose to give rein to this fire-brand
+imposter? This prophet of God who rides about town in a broken-down
+express-wagon, and consorts with movie actresses and red agitators!
+Must the police wait until his seditious doctrines have fanned the
+flames of mob violence beyond control? Must they wait until he has
+gathered all the others of his ilk, the advocates of lunacy and
+assassination about him, and caused an insurrection of class envy
+and hate? We call upon the authorities of our city to act and act at
+once; to put this wretched mountebank behind bars where he belongs,
+and keep him there."
+
+There was another aspect of this matter upon which the "Times" laid
+emphasis. After long efforts on the part of the Chamber of Commerce
+and other civic organizations, Western City had been selected as the
+place for the annual convention of the Mobland Brigade. In three
+days this convention would be called to order, and already the
+delegates were pouring in by every train. What impression would they
+get of law and order in this community? Was this the purpose for
+which they had shed their blood in a dreadful war--that their
+country might be affronted by the ravings of an impious charlatan?
+What had the gold-star mothers of Western City to say to this? What
+did the local post of the Mobland Brigade propose to do to save the
+fair name of their city? Said the "Times": "If our supine
+authorities refuse to meet this emergency, we believe there are
+enough 100% Americans still among us to protect the cause of public
+decency, and to assert the right of Christian people to worship
+their God without interference from the Dictatorship of the Lunatic
+Asylum."
+
+Now, I had been so much interested in Carpenter and his adventures
+that I had pretty well overlooked this matter of the Mobland Brigade
+and its convention. I belong to the Brigade myself, and ought to
+have been serving on the committee of arrangements; instead of
+which, here I was chasing around trying to save a prophet, who, it
+appeared, really wanted to get into trouble! Yes, the Brigade was
+coming; and I could foresee what would happen when a bunch of these
+wild men encountered Carpenter's express wagon on the street!
+
+
+
+XLIV
+
+
+I swallowed a hasty cup of coffee, and drove in a taxi to the Labor
+Temple. Carpenter had said he would be there early in the morning,
+to help with the relief work again. I went to the rooms of the
+Restaurant Workers, and found that he had not yet arrived. I noticed
+a group of half a dozen men standing near the door, and there seemed
+something uncordial in the look they gave me. One of them came
+toward me, the same who had sought my advice about permitting
+Carpenter to speak at the mass meeting. "Good morning," he said; and
+then: "I thought you told me this fellow Carpenter was not a red?"
+
+"Well," said I, taken by surprise, "is he?"
+
+"God Almighty!" said the other. "What do you call this?" And he held
+up a copy of the "Times." "Going in and shouting in the middle of a
+church service, and trying to knock down a clergyman!"
+
+I could not help laughing in the man's face. "So even you labor men
+believe what you read in the 'Times'! It happens I was present in
+the church myself, and I assure you that Carpenter offered no
+resistance, and neither did anyone else in his group. You remember,
+I told you he was a man of peace, and that was all I told you."
+
+"Well," said the other, somewhat more mildly, "even so, we can't
+stand for this kind of thing. That's no way to accomplish anything.
+A whole lot of our members are Catholics, and what will they make of
+carryings-on like this? We're trying to persuade people that we're a
+law-abiding organization, and that our officials are men of sense."
+
+"I see," said I. "And what do you mean to do about it?"
+
+"We have called a meeting of our executive committee this morning,
+and are going to adopt a resolution, making clear to the public that
+we knew nothing about this church raid, and that we don't stand for
+such things. We would never have permitted this man Carpenter to
+speak on our platform, if we had known about his ideas."
+
+I had nothing to say, and I said it. The other was watching me
+uneasily. "We hear the man proposes to come back to our relief
+kitchen. Is that so?"
+
+"I believe he does; and I suppose you would rather he didn't. Is
+that it?" The other admitted that was it, and I laughed. "He has had
+his thousand dollars worth of hospitality, I suppose."
+
+"Well, we don't want to hurt his feelings," said the other. "Of
+gourse our members are having a hard time, and we were glad to get
+the money, but it would be better if our central organization were
+to contribute the funds, rather than to have us pay such a price as
+this newspaper publicity."
+
+"Then let your committee vote the money, and return it to Mr. T-S,
+and also to Mary Magna."
+
+It took the man sometime to figure out a reply to this proposition.
+"We have no objection to Mr. T-S coming here," he said, "or Miss
+Magna either."
+
+"That is," said I, "so long as they obey the law, and don't get in
+bad with the Western City 'Times'!" After a moment I added, "You may
+make your mind easy. I will go downstairs and wait for Mr.
+Carpenter, and tell him he is not wanted."
+
+And so I left the Labor Temple and walked up and down on the
+sidewalk in front. It was really rather unreasonable of me to be
+annoyed with this labor man for having voiced the same point of view
+of "common sense" which I had been defending to Carpenter's group on
+the previous evening. Also, I was obliged to admit to myself that if
+I were a labor leader, trying to hold together a group of
+half-educated men in the face of public sentiment such as existed in
+this city, I might not have the same carefree, laughing attitude
+towards life as a certain rich young man whose pockets were stuffed
+with unearned increments.
+
+To this mood of tolerance I had brought myself, when I saw a white
+robe come round the corner, arm in arm with a frock coat of black
+broadcloth. Also there came Everett, looking still more ghastly, his
+nose and lip having become purple, and in places green. Also there
+was Korwsky, and two other men; Moneta, a young Mexican cigarmaker
+out of work, and a man named Hamby, who had turned up on the
+previous evening, introducing himself as a pacifist who had been
+arrested and beaten up during the war. Somehow he did not conform to
+my idea of a pacifist, being a solid and rather stoutish fellow,
+with nothing of the idealist about him. But Carpenter took him, as
+he took everybody, without question or suspicion.
+
+
+
+XLV
+
+
+I joined the group, and made clear to them, as tactfully as I could,
+that they were not wanted inside. Comrade Abell threw up his hands.
+"Oh, those labor skates!" he cried. "Those miserable, cowardly,
+grafting politicians! Thinking about nothing but keeping themselves
+respectable, and holding on to their fat, comfortable salaries!"
+
+"Vell, vat you expect?" cried Korwsky. "You git de verkin' men into
+politics, and den you blame dem fer bein' politicians!"
+
+"Nothing was said about returning the money, I suppose?" remarked
+Everett, in a bitter tone.
+
+"Something was said," I replied. "I said it. I don't think the money
+will be returned."
+
+Then Carpenter spoke. "The money was given to feed the hungry," said
+he. "If it is used for that purpose, we can ask no more. And if men
+set out to preach a new doctrine, how can they expect to be welcomed
+at once? We have chosen to be outcasts, and must not complain. Let
+us go to the jail. Perhaps that is the place for us." So the little
+group set out in a new direction.
+
+On the way we talked about the labor movement, and what was the
+matter with it. Comrade Abell said that Carpenter was right, the
+fundamental trouble was that the workers were imbued with the
+psychology of their masters. They would strike for this or that
+improvement in their condition, and then go to the polls and vote
+for the candidates of their masters. But Korwsky was more vehement;
+he was an industrial unionist, and thought the present craft unions
+worse than nothing.
+
+Little groups of labor aristocrats, seking to benefit themselves at
+the expense of the masses, the unorganized, unskilled workers and
+the floating population of casual labor! That was why those "skates"
+at the Labor Temple has so little enthusiasm for Carpenter and his
+doctrine of brotherhood! In this country where every man was trying
+to climb up on the face of some other man!
+
+Our little group had come out on Broadway. It attracted a good deal
+of attention, and a number of curiosity seekers were beginning to
+trail behind us. "We'll get a crowd again, and Carpenter 'll be
+making a speech," I thought; and as usual I faced a moral conflict.
+Should I stand by, or should I sneak away, and preserve the dignity
+of my family?
+
+Suddenly came a sound of music, fifes and drums. It burst on our
+ears from round the corner, shrill and lively--"The Girl I Left
+Behind Me." Carpenter, who was directly in front of me, stopped
+short, and seemed to shrink away from what was coming, until his
+back was against the show-window of a department-store, and he could
+shrink no further.
+
+It was a company of ex-service men in uniform; one or two hundred,
+carrying rifles with fixed bayonets which gleamed in the sunshine.
+There were two fifers and two drummers at their head, and also two
+flags, one the flag of the Brigade, and the other the flag of
+Mobland. I remembered having noted in the morning papers that the
+national commander of the brigade was to arrive in town this
+morning, and no doubt this was a delegation to do him honor.
+
+The marchers swept down on us, and past us, and I watched the
+prophet. His eyes were wide, his whole face expressing anguish. "Oh
+God, my Father!" he whispered, and seemed to quiver with each thud
+of the tramping feet on the pavement. After the storm had passed, he
+stood motionless, the pain still in his face "It is Rome! It is
+Rome!" he murmured.
+
+"No," said I, "it is Mobland."
+
+He went on, as if he had not heard me. "Rome! Eternal Rome! Rome
+that never dies!" And he turned upon me his startled eyes. "Even the
+eagles!"
+
+For a moment I was puzzled; but then I remembered the golden eagle
+with wings outspread, that perches on top of our national banner.
+"We only use one eagle," I said, somewhat feebly.
+
+To which he answered, "The soul of one eagle is the same as the soul
+of two."
+
+Now, I had felt quite certain that Carpenter would not get along
+very well with the Brigade, and I was more than ever decided that he
+must be got out of the way somehow or other. But meantime, the first
+task was to get him away from this crowd which was rapidly
+collecting. Already he was in the full tide of a speech. "Those
+sharp spears! Can you not see them thrust into the bowels of human
+beings? Can you not see them dripping with the blood of your
+brothers?"
+
+I whispered to Everett, thinking him one among this company of
+enthusiasts who might have a little common sense left. "We had
+better get him away from here!" And Everett put his hand gently on
+the prophet's shoulder, and said, "The prisoners in the jail are
+hoping for us." I took him by the other arm, and we began to lead
+him down the street. When we had once got him going, we walked him
+faster and faster, until presently the crowd was trailing out into a
+string of idlers and curiosity seekers, as before.
+
+
+
+XLVI
+
+
+The party came to the city jail, and knocked for admission. But no
+doubt the authorities had taken consultation in the meantime, and
+there was no admission for prophets. The party stood on the steps,
+baffled and bewildered, a pitiful and pathetic little group.
+
+For my part, I thought it just as well that Carpenter had not got
+inside, for I knew what he would find there. It happens that my Aunt
+Jennie belongs to a couple of women's clubs, and they have been
+making a fuss about our city jail; they have kept on making it for
+many years, but apparently without accomplishing anything. The place
+was built a generation ago, for a city of perhaps one-tenth our
+present size; it is old and musty, and the walls are so badly
+cracked that it has been condemned by the building department. It is
+so crowded that half a dozen men sometimes sleep on the floor of a
+single cell. They are devoured by vermin, and lie in semi-darkness,
+some of them shivering with cold and others half suffocated. They
+stay there, sometimes for many months unheeded, because the courts
+are crowded, and if Comrade Abell's word may be taken in the matter,
+every poor man is assumed to be guilty until he is proven innocent.
+I have heard Aunt Jennie arguing the matter with considerable
+energy. Our banks are housed in palaces, and our Chamber of Commerce
+and our Merchants and Manufacturers and our Real Estate Exchange and
+all the rest of our boosters have commodious and expensive quarters;
+but our prisoners lie in torment, and no one boosts for them.
+
+Did Carpenter know these things? Had the strikers or his little
+company of agitators, told him about them? Suddenly he said, "Let us
+pray;" and there on the steps of the jail he raised his hands in
+invocation, and prayed for all prisoners and captives. And when he
+finished, Comrade Abell suddenly lifted his voice and began to sing.
+I would not have supposed that so big a voice could have come out of
+so frail a body; but I was reminded that Abell had been practicing
+on soap-boxes a good part of his life. He was one of these shouting
+evangelists--only his gospel was different. He sang:
+
+    Arise, ye pris'ners of starvation!
+    Arise, ye wretched of the earth!
+    For justice thunders condemnation,
+    A better world's in birth.
+
+I think I would have shuddered, even more than I did, if I had known
+the name of this song; if I had realized that this group of fanatics
+were sounding the dread Internationale on the steps of our city
+jail! I suspect that what saved them was the fact that the guardians
+of the jail had no more idea what it was than I had!
+
+The group had sung a couple of verses, when the iron-barred doors
+were opened, and a policeman stepped out. He addressed Carpenter,
+who was not singing. "Tell that bunch of nuts of yours to can the
+yowling."
+
+To which Carpenter replied: "I tell you that if these men should
+hold their peace, the stones of your jail would immediately cry
+out!" And he turned, and looked up and down the streets of the city,
+and suddenly I saw that he was weeping. "Oh, Mobland, Mobland! If
+you had known even at this time the way of justice! But the way is
+hid from your eyes, and you will not see it, and now the hour is
+coming, the horrors of the class war are upon you, ruin and
+destruction are at hand! Your towers of pride shall fall, your own
+children shall destroy you; they shall not leave you one stone upon
+another, because you knew not the time for justice when it came."
+
+The doors of the jail opened again, and three or four more policemen
+came out, with clubs in their hands. "Get along, now!" they said
+roughly, and began poking the prophet and his disciples in the back;
+they poked them down the stairs and along the street for a block or
+so--until they were sure the ears of the jail inmates would no
+longer be troubled by offensive sounds. But still they did not
+arrest them, and I marveled, wondering how long it could go on. I
+had an uneasy feeling that the longer the climax was postponed, the
+more severe it would be.
+
+There was quite a crowd following us now, hoping that something
+sensational would happen. And presently a woman saw us, and rushed
+into the house, and came out leading a blind man, and appealing to
+Carpenter to restore his sight; and when he stopped to do this,
+there were a couple of newspaper men, and an operator with a camera,
+and more excitement and more crowds! So we started to walk again,
+and came to Main Street, which in our city is given up to ten cent
+picture-shows, and pawn-brokers, and old clothes shops, and
+eating-stands for workingmen. A block or so distant we saw a mass of
+people, and something warned me--my heart sank into my boots.
+Another mob!
+
+
+
+XLVII
+
+
+There was shouting, and people running from every direction. The
+throng would surge back, and a few run from it. "What's the matter?"
+I cried to one of these, and the answer was, "They're cleaning out
+the reds!" Comrade Abell, who knew the neighborhood, exclaimed in
+dismay, "It's Erman's Book Store!"
+
+"Who's doing this?" I asked of another bystander, and the answer
+was, "The Brigade! They're cleaning up the city before the
+convention!" And Comrade Abell clasped his hands to his forehead,
+and wailed in despair, "It's because they've been selling the
+'Liberator'! Erman told me last week he'd been warned to stop
+selling it!"
+
+Now, I don't know whether or not Carpenter had ever heard of this
+radical monthly. But he knew that here was a mob, and people in
+trouble, and he shook off the hands which sought to restrain him,
+and pushed his way into the throng, which gave way before him,
+either from respect or from curiosity. I learned later that some of
+the mob had dragged the bookseller and his two clerks out by the
+rear entrance, and were beating them pretty severely. But
+fortunately Carpenter did not see this. All he saw were a dozen or
+so ex-soldiers in uniform carrying armfuls of magazines and books
+out into a little square, which was made by the oblique intersection
+of two avenues. They were dumping the stuff into a pile, and a man
+with a five gallon can was engaged in pouring kerosene over it.
+
+"My friend," said Carpenter, "what is this that you do?"
+
+The other turned upon him and stared. "What the hell you got to do
+with it? Get out of the way there!" And to emphasize his words he
+slopped a jet of kerosene over the prophet's robes.
+
+Said Carpenter: "Do you know what a book is? One of your poets has
+described it as the precious life-blood of a great spirit, embalmed
+and preserved to all posterity."
+
+The other laughed scornfully. "Was he talkin' about Bolsheviki
+books, you reckon?"
+
+Said Carpenter: "Are you one that should be set to judge books? Have
+you read these that you are about to destroy?" And as the other,
+paying no attention, knelt down to strike a match and light the
+pyre, he cried, in a louder voice: "Behold what a thing is war! You
+have been trained to kill your fellow men; the beast has been let
+loose in your heart, and he raves within!"
+
+"One of these God-damn pacifists, eh?" cried the ex-soldier; and he
+dropped his matches and sprang up with fists clenched. Carpenter
+faced him without flinching; there was something so majestic about
+him, the man did not strike him, he merely put his spread hand
+against the prophet's chest and shoved him violently. "Get back out
+of the way!"
+
+I well knew the risk I was taking, but I could not refrain. "Now,
+look here, buddy!" I began; and the soldier whirled upon me. "You
+one of these Huns, too?"
+
+"I was all through the Argonne," I said quickly. "And I belong to
+the Brigade."
+
+"Oh ho! Well, pitch in here, and help carry out this bloody
+Arnychist literature!"
+
+I was about to answer, but Carpenter's voice rang out again. He had
+turned and stretched out his arms to the crowd, and we both stopped
+to listen to his words.
+
+"Shall ye be wolves, or shall ye be men? That is the choice, and ye
+have chosen wolfhood. The blood of your brothers is upon your hands,
+and murder in your hearts. You have trained your young men to be
+killers of their brothers, and now they know only the law of
+madness."
+
+There were a dozen ex-doughboys in sound of this discourse, and I
+judged they would not stand much of it. Suddenly one of them began
+to chant; and the rest took it up, half laughing, half shouting:
+
+    Rough! Tough!
+    We're the stuff!
+    We want to fight and we can't get enough!
+
+And after that:
+
+    Hail! Hail! The gang's all here!
+    We're going to get the Kaiser!
+
+The crowd joined in, and the words of the prophet were completely
+drowned out. A moment later I heard a gruff voice behind me. "Make
+way here!" There came a policeman, shoving through. "What's all this
+about?"
+
+The fellow with the kerosene can spoke up: "Here's this damn
+Arnychist prophet been incitin' the crowd and preachin' sedition!
+You better take him along, officer, and put him somewhere he'll be
+safe, because me and my buddies won't stand no more Bolsheviki
+rantin'."
+
+It seemed ludicrous when I looked back upon it; though at the moment
+I did not appreciate the funny side. Here was a group of men engaged
+in raiding a book-store, beating up the proprietor and his clerks,
+and burning a thousand dollars worth of books and magazines on the
+public street; but the policeman did not see a bit of that, he had
+no idea that any such thing was happening! All he saw was a prophet,
+in a white nightgown dripping with kerosene, engaged in denouncing
+war! He took him firmly by the arm, saying, "Come along now! I guess
+we've heard enough o' this;" and he started to march Carpenter down
+the street.
+
+"Take me too!" cried Moneta, the Mexican, beside himself with
+excitement; and the policeman grabbed him with the other hand, and
+the three set out to march.
+
+
+
+XLVIII
+
+
+I no longer had any impulse to interfere. In truth I was glad to see
+the policeman, considering that his worst might be better than the
+mob's best. About half the crowd followed us, but the singing died
+away, and that gave Comrade Abell his chance. He was walking
+directly behind the policeman, and suddenly he raised his voice, and
+all the rest of the way to the station-house he provided marching
+tunes: first the Internationale, and then the Reg Flag, and then the
+Marseillaise:
+
+    Ye sons of toil, awake to glory!
+    Hark, hark! What myriads bids you rise!
+    Your children, wives, and grand sires hoary--
+    Behold their tears and hear their cries!
+
+When we came to the station house, the policeman gave Moneta a shove
+and told him to get along; he had not done anything, and was denied
+the honor of being arrested. The officer pushed Carpenter through
+the door, and bade the rest of us keep out.
+
+Said Abell: "I am an attorney."
+
+"The hell you are!" said the other. "I thought you were an opery
+singer."
+
+"I'm a practicing attorney," said Abell, "and I represent the man
+you have arrested. I presume I have a right to enter."
+
+"And I am a prospective bondsman," I stated, with sudden
+inspiration. "So let me in also."
+
+We entered, and the policeman led his prisoner to the sergeant at
+the desk. The latter asked the charge, and was told, "Disturbing the
+peace and blocking traffic."
+
+"Now, sergeant," said I, "this is preposterous. All this prisoner
+did was to try to stop a mob from destroying property."
+
+"You can tell all that to the magistrate in the morning," said the
+sergeant.
+
+"What is the bail?" I demanded.
+
+"You are prepared to put up bail?"
+
+I answered that I was; and then for the first time Carpenter spoke.
+"You mean you wish to pay money to secure my release? Let there be
+no money paid for me."
+
+"Let me explain, Mr. Carpenter," I pleaded. "You will accomplish
+nothing by spending the night in a police cell. You will have no
+opportunity to talk with the prisoners. They will keep you by
+yourself."
+
+He answered, "My Father will be with me." And gazing into the face
+of the sergeant, he demanded, "Do you think you can build a cell to
+which my Father cannot come?"
+
+The officer was an old hand, with a fringe of grey hair around his
+bald head, and no doubt he had been asked many queer questions in
+his day. His response was to inquire the prisoner's name; and when
+the prisoner kept haughty silence, he wrote down "John Doe
+Carpenter," and proceeded: "Where do you live?"
+
+Said Carpenter: "The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have
+nests, but he that espouses the cause of justice has no home in a
+world of greed."
+
+So the sergeant wrote: "No address," and nodded to a jailer, who
+took the prophet by the arm and led him away through a steel-barred
+door.
+
+Abell and I went outside and joined the rest of the group. None of
+us knew just what to do--with the exception of Everett, who sat on
+the steps with his notebook, and made me repeat to him word for word
+what Carpenter had said!
+
+
+
+XLIX
+
+
+Comrade Abell told us where the police-court was located, and we
+agreed to be there at nine o'clock next morning. Then I parted from
+the rest, and walked until I met a taxi and drove to my rooms.
+
+I felt desolate and forlorn. Nothing in my old life had any interest
+for me. This was the afternoon when I usually went to the Athletic
+Club to box; but now I found myself wondering, what would Carpenter
+say to such imitation fighting? I decided I would stay by myself for
+a while, and take a walk and think things over. I had been
+dissatisfied with my life for a long time; the glamor had begun to
+wear off the excitement of youth, and I had begun to suspect that my
+life was idle and vain. Now I knew that it was: and also I knew that
+the world was a place of torment and woe.
+
+I returned late in the afternoon, and a few minutes afterwards my
+telephone rang, and I discovered that somebody else was dissatisfied
+with life.
+
+"Hello, Billy," said the voice of T-S. "I see dat feller Carpenter
+is in jail. Vy don't you bail him out?"
+
+"He won't let me," I said.
+
+"Vell, maybe it might be a good ting to leave him in jail a veek,
+till dis Brigade convention gits over."
+
+"Funny!" said I. "I had the same idea!"
+
+"Listen," continued the other, "I been feelin' awful bad because I
+told dem fellers I didn't know him. D' you suppose he knows I said
+dat, Billy?"
+
+"Well," said I, "he knew you were going to say it, so probably he
+knows you said it."
+
+"Vell," said T-S, "maybe you laugh at me, but I been tinkin' I tell
+dem fellows to go to hell."
+
+"What fellows?"
+
+"De whole damn vorld! Billy, I like dat feller Carpenter! I never
+met a feller like him before. You tink he vould let me go to see him
+in de jail?"
+
+"I'm sure he'd be glad to see you," I said; "if the jailers didn't
+object."
+
+"Sure, I fix de jailers all right!"
+
+"But T-S," I added, "I don't believe he'll sign any contract."
+
+"Contract nuttin'," said T-S. "I shoost vant to see him, Billy. Is
+dere anyting I could do fer him?"
+
+I thought for a moment; then I said: "You might do something for one
+of his friends, and that's young Everett. He got pretty badly hurt,
+and he's sticking at the job of taking down all Carpenter's
+speeches. He ought to have a surgeon, and also a first class
+stenographer to take turns with him. Have you got another man like
+him?"
+
+"I dunno," said T-S. "You don't find a young feller like Matt
+Everett everyday."
+
+I started. "What do you say is his name?"
+
+"Matthew," said T-S. "Vy you ask?"
+
+"Nothing," said I; "just a coincidence!"
+
+Our conversation ended with the remark by T-S that he would call up
+the station-house and arrange to see Carpenter. Five minutes later
+the telephone rang again, and I heard the magnate's voice: "Billy,
+dey say he's been bailed out!"
+
+"What?" I cried. "He declared he wouldn't have it done."
+
+"Somebody done it vitout askin' him! De money vas paid, and dey
+turned him out!"
+
+"Who did it?"
+
+"Guess!"
+
+"You mean it was you?"
+
+"I vouldn't 'a dared. I only shoost found out about it. Mary Magna
+done it, and she's took him avay somevere."
+
+"Good Lord!" I exclaimed; and before my mind's eye flashed another
+headline:
+
+FAIR FILM STAR FREES LOVE-CULT PROPHET
+
+I promised to try to find out about the prophet at once. "He won't
+get away," I said, "because he doesn't ride in automobiles, and he
+and Mary can't walk very far on the street without the newspapers
+finding them!"
+
+I took my telephone-book, and looked up the name Abell. It is an
+unusual name, and there was only one attorney bearing it. (I was
+struck by the fact that the first name of this attorney was Mark.) I
+called him on the phone, and heard the familiar gentle voice. Yes,
+Comrade Carpenter had just arrived, and Miss Magna was with him.
+They were going to have a little party, and they would be glad to
+have me come. Yes, Mr. T-S would be welcome, of course. So then I
+called up the magnate of the pictures, and not without an inward
+smile, conferred on him the gracious permission to spend the evening
+at the headquarters of Local Western City of the Socialist Party!
+
+
+
+L
+
+
+When I got to the meeting-place I found that a feast had been
+spread. I don't know where the money came from; maybe it was
+Bolshevik gold, as the enemy charged, or maybe it was the ill-gotten
+gains of a "million dollar movie vamp." Anyhow, there was a table
+spread with a couple of cloths that were clean, if ragged, and on
+them flowers and fruit. Carpenter was seated at the head of the
+table, and I noted to my surprise that he had on a beautiful robe of
+snow-white linen, instead of the one he had formerly worn, which was
+not only stained with kerosene but filthy with the dust of the
+streets. I learned that Mrs. T-S had brought this festal garment--a
+simple matter for her, because in movie studios they have wardrobe
+rooms where they turn out any sort of costume imaginable.
+
+This robe was so striking that it created a little controversy.
+James, the carpenter, who had an ascetic spirit, considered it
+necessary to speak plainly, and point out that Mrs. T-S would have
+done better to take the money and give it to the poor. But the
+prophet answered: "Let this woman alone. She has done a good thing.
+The poor you have always with you, but me you have only for a short
+time. This woman has helped to make our feast happy, and men will
+tell about it in future years."
+
+But that did not satisfy the ascetic James, who retired to his
+corner grumbling. "I know, we're going to start a new church--the
+same old graft all over again! A man has no business to say a thing
+like that. The first thing you know, they'll be taking the widow's
+mite to buy silk and velvet dresses for him and golden goblets for
+him to drink from! And then, before you know it they'll be setting
+him up in stained glass windows, and priests'll be wearing jewelled
+robes, and saying it's all right, and quoting his words!" I
+perceived that it wasn't so easy for a prophet to manage a bunch of
+disciples in these modern days!
+
+The controversy did not seem to trouble Mrs. T-S, who was waddling
+about, perfectly happy in the kitchen--doing the things she would
+have done all the time, if her husband's social position had not
+required her to keep a dozen servants. Also, I noted to my great
+astonishment that Mary Magna, instead of taking a place at the
+prophet's right hand, according to the prerogative of queens, had
+put on a plain apron and was helping "Maw" and Mrs. Abell. More
+surprising yet, T-S had seated himself inconspicuously at the foot
+of the table, while at the prophet's right hand there sat a convict
+with a twenty year jail sentence hanging over him--John Colver, the
+"wobbly" poet! Again an ancient phrase learned in childhood came
+floating through my mind: "He hath put down the mighty from their
+seats, and exalted them of low degree!"
+
+Somehow word had been got to all the little group of agitators of
+various shades. There was Korwsky, the secretary of the tailors'
+union--whose first name I learned was Luka; also his fellow Russian,
+the express-driver,--Simon Karlin, and Tom Moneta, the young Mexican
+cigar-maker. There was Matthew Everett, free to be a guest on this
+occasion, because T-S had brought along another stenographer. There
+was Mark Abell, and another Socialist, a young Irishman named Andy
+Lynch, a veteran of the late war who had come home completely cured
+of militarism, and was now spending his time distributing Socialist
+leaflets, and preaching to the workers wherever he could get two or
+three to listen. Also there was Hamby, the pacifist whom I did not
+like, and a second I. W. W., brought by Colver--a lad named Philip,
+who had recently been indicted by the grand jury, and was at this
+moment a fugitive from justice with a price upon his head.
+
+The door of the room was opened, and another man came in; a striking
+figure, tall and gaunt, with old and pitifully untidy clothing, and
+a half month's growth of beard upon his chin. He wore an old black
+hat, frayed at the edges; but under this hat was a face of such
+gentleness and sadness that it made you think of Carpenter's own.
+Withal, it was a Yankee face--of that lean, stringy kind that we
+know so well. The newcomer's eyes fell upon Carpenter, and his face
+lighted; he set down an old carpet-bag that he was carrying, and
+stretched out his two hands, and went to him. "Carpenter! I've been
+looking for you!"
+
+And Carpenter answered, "My brother!" And the two clasped hands, and
+I thought to myself with astonishment, "How does Carpenter know this
+man?"
+
+Presently I whispered to Abell, "Who is he?" I learned that he was
+one I had heard of in the papers--Bartholomew Howard, the
+"millionaire hobo;" he was grandson and heir of one of our great
+captains of industry, and had taken literally the advice of the
+prophet, to sell all that he had and give it to the unemployed. He
+traveled over the country, living among the hobos and organizing
+them into his Brotherhood. Now you would have thought that he and
+Carpenter had known each other all their lives; as I watched them, I
+found myself thinking: "Where are the clergy and the pillars of St.
+Bartholomew's Church?" There were none of them at this supper-party!
+
+
+
+LI
+
+
+T-S had stopped at a caterer's on his way to the gathering, and had
+done his humble best in the form of a strawberry short-cake almost
+half as large around as himself; also several bottles of purple
+color, with the label of grape juice. When the company gathered at
+the table and these bottles were opened, they made a suspicious
+noise, and so we all made jokes, as people have the habit of doing
+in these days of getting used to prohibition. I noticed that
+Carpenter laughed at the jokes, and seemed to enjoy the whole
+festivity.
+
+It happened that fate had placed me next to James, so I listened to
+more asceticism. "He oughtn't to do things like this! People will
+say he likes to eat rich food and to drink. It's bad for the
+movement for such things to be said."
+
+"Cheer up, my friend!" I laughed. "Even the Bolsheviks have a feast
+now and then, when they can get it."
+
+"You'll see what the newspapers do with this tomorrow," growled the
+other; "then you won't think it so funny."
+
+"Forget it!" I said. "There aren't any reporters here."
+
+"No," said he, "but there are spies here, you may be sure. There are
+spies everywhere, nowadays. You'll see!"
+
+Presently Carpenter called on some of the company for speeches.
+Would Bartholomew tell about the unemployed, what their organization
+was doing, and what were their plans? And after that he asked John
+Colver, who sat on his right hand, to recite some of his verses.
+John and his friend Philip, a blue eyed, freckle-faced lad who
+looked as if he might be in high school, told stories about the
+adventures of outlaw agitators. For several months these two had
+been traveling the country as "blanket stiffs," securing employment
+in lumber-camps and mines, gathering the workers secretly in the
+woods to listen to the new gospel of deliverance. The employers were
+organized on a nation-wide scale everywhere throughout the country,
+and the workers with their feeble craft unions were like men using
+bows and arrows against machine-guns. There must be One Big
+Union--that was the slogan, and if you preached it, you went every hour
+in peril of such a fate that you counted fourteen years in jail as
+comparatively a happy ending.
+
+Said Carpenter: "It is not such a bad thing for a cause to have its
+preachers go to jail."
+
+"Well," said the lad of the blue eyes and the freckled face, "we try
+to keep a few outside, to tell what the rest are in for!"
+
+Later on, I remember, John Colver told a funny story about this pal
+of his. The story had to do with grape juice instead of with
+propaganda, but it appealed to me because it showed the gay spirit
+of these lads. The two of them had sought refuge from a storm in a
+barn, and there, lying buried in the hay with the rain pouring down
+on the roof, they had heard the farmer coming to milk his cows. The
+man had evidently just parted from his wife, and there had been a
+quarrel; but the farmer hadn't dared to say what he wanted to, so
+now he took it out on the cows! "Na! na! na!" he shouted, with
+furious vehemence. "That's it! Go on! Nag, nag, nag! Don't stop, or
+I might manage to get a word in! Yes, I'm late, of course I'm late!
+Do you expect me to drive by the clock? Maybe I did forget the
+sugar! Maybe I've got nothing on my mind but errands! Whiskey? Maybe
+it's whiskey, and maybe it's gin, and maybe it's grape-juice!" The
+farmer set down his milk-pail and his lantern, and shook his
+clenched fist at the patient cattle. "I'm a man, I am, and I'll have
+you understand I'm master in my own house! I'll drink if I feel like
+drinking, I'll stop and chat with my neighbors if I feel like
+stopping, I'll buy sugar if I remember to buy it, and if you don't
+like it, you can buy your own!" And so on--becoming more inspired
+with his own eloquence--or maybe with the whiskey, or the gin, or
+the grape-juice; until young Philip became so filled with the spirit
+of the combat that he popped up out of the hay and shouted, "Good
+for you, old man! Stand up for your rights! Don't let her down you!
+Hurrah for men!" And the astounded farmer stood staring with his
+mouth open, while the two "wobbles" leaped up and fled from the
+barn, so convulsed with laughter they hardly noticed the floods of
+rain pouring down upon them.
+
+
+
+LII
+
+
+But, of course, it wasn't long before this little company became
+serious again. Carpenter told Franklin that he ought not stay here;
+he, Carpenter, was too conspicuous a figure, the authorities were
+certain to be watching him. Korwsky backed him up. There were sure
+to be spies here! They would never leave such a man unwatched. They
+would set to work to get something on him, and if they couldn't get
+it they would make it. When Carpenter asked what he meant, he
+explained, "Dey'll plant dynamite in de place vere you are, or
+dey'll fake up some letters to show you been plannin' violence."
+
+"And do people believe such things?" asked Carpenter.
+
+"Believe dem?" cried Korwsky. "If dey see it in de papers, dey
+believe it--sure dey do!"
+
+The prophet answered, "Let a man live so that the world will believe
+him and not his enemies." Then he added a startling remark. "There
+is one among us who will betray me."
+
+Of course, they all looked at one another in consternation. They
+were deeply distressed, and each tried in turn--"Comrade," or
+"Brother," or "Fellow-worker," or whatever term they used--"is it
+I?" Presently the sturdy looking fellow named Hamby, who called
+himself a pacifist, asked, "Is it I?" And Carpenter answered,
+quietly, "You have said it."
+
+Then, of course, some of the others started up; they wanted to throw
+him out, but Carpenter bade them sit down again, saying, "Let things
+take their course; for the powers of this world will perish more
+quickly if they are permitted to kill themselves."
+
+Apparently he saw no reason why this episode should be permitted to
+interfere with the festivities. Mary Magna came in laughing, bearing
+the strawberry short-cake, and set it on the table and proceeded to
+portion it out. When it was served, Carpenter said, "I shall not be
+with you much longer, my friends; but you will remember me when you
+see this beautiful red fruit on top of a cake; and also you will
+think of me and my message when you taste rich purple grape-juice
+that has perhaps stayed a day or two too long in the bottle!"
+
+Some of the company laughed, but others of them had tears in their
+eyes; and I noticed that in the midst of the merriment the fellow
+Hamby got up and slipped out of the room. Not long after that the
+company began to disperse for various reasons. Karlin explained that
+his old horse had been working all day, and had had no supper.
+Colver was uneasy, not for himself, but for his friend, and I saw
+him start every time the door was opened. Also, T-S was having some
+night-scenes taken, and he and Mary were to see the work. Finally
+Carpenter dismissed the Company, with the statement that he wished
+to retire to Comrade Abell's private office to pray; and Abell and
+his friend Lynch and the young Mexican said they would watch and
+wait for him. The rest of us took our departure, not without
+misgivings and sorrow in our hearts.
+
+
+
+LIII
+
+
+Now, you may find it hard to believe a confession which I have put
+off making--the fact that at this time I was engaged to be married.
+There was a certain member of what is called the "younger set," whom
+I had given reason to expect that I would think about her at least
+once in a while. But here for precisely three days I had been
+chasing about at the skirts of a prophet fresh from God, getting my
+name into the newspapers in scandalous fashion, and not daring even
+to call the young lady on the telephone and make apologies. That
+evening there was a dinner-dance at her home, and I supposed I was
+supposed to be there; but no one had bothered to invite me, and as a
+matter of fact I would not have known of the affair if I had not
+seen the announcement in the papers. I was too late for the dinner,
+but I got myself a taxicab, and drove to my room and changed my
+clothes, and hurried in my own car to the dance.
+
+You would not be interested in the fact that when I arrived I was
+treated as an unwelcome guest, and Miss Betty even went so far as to
+remind me that I had not been invited. But after I had pleaded, she
+consented to dance with me; and so for an hour or two I tried to
+forget there were any people in the world who had anything to do but
+be happy. Just as I was succeeding, the butler came, calling me to
+the telephone, and I answered, and who should it be but Old Joe!
+
+My surprise became consternation at his first words: "Billy, your
+friend Carpenter is in peril!"
+
+"What do you mean?"
+
+"They are going to get him tonight."
+
+"Good God! How do you know?"
+
+"It's a long story, and no time to tell it. Somebody's tipped me
+off. Where can I meet you? Every minute is precious."
+
+"Where are you?" I asked, and learned that he was at his home, not
+far away. I said I would come there, and I hurried to Betty and had
+another scene with her, and left her weeping, vowing that she would
+never see me again. I ran out and jumped into my car--and I would
+hate to tell what I did to the speed laws of Western City. Suffice
+it to say that a few minutes later I was in Old Joe's den, and he
+was telling me his story.
+
+Part of it I got then, and part of it later, but I might as well
+tell it all at once and be done with it. It happened that at the
+restaurant where Old Joe and I had dined before we went to the
+mass-meeting, he had met a girl whom he knew too well, after the
+fashion of young men about town. In greeting her on the way out, he
+had told her he was going to hear the new prophet and had laughingly
+suggested that the meeting was free. The girl, out of idle
+curiosity, had come, and had been touched by Carpenter's physical,
+if not by his moral charms. It chanced that this girl was living
+with a man who stood high in the secret service department of "big
+business" in our city; so she had got the full story of what was
+being planned against Carpenter. That afternoon, it appeared, there
+had been a meeting between Algernon de Wiggs, president of our
+Chamber of Commerce, and Westerly, secretary of our "M. and M.," and
+Gerald Carson, organizer of our "Boosters' League." These three had
+put up six thousand dollars, and turned it over to their secret
+service agents, with instructions that Carpenter's agitations in
+Western City were to be ended inside of twenty-four hours.
+
+A plan had been worked out, every detail of which had been phoned to
+Old Joe. A group of ex-service men, members of the Brigade, had been
+hired to seize the prophet and treat him to a tar and feathering. It
+had not taken much to move them to action, for the afternoon papers
+were full of accounts of Carpenter's speech on Main Street, his
+denunciation of war, and of soldiers as "murderers" and "wolves."
+
+But that was not all, said Old Joe; and I saw that his hand was
+trembling as he spoke. It appeared that there was an "operative"
+named Hamby, who was one of Carpenter's followers.
+
+"By God!" I burst out, in sudden fury. "I was sure that fellow was a
+crook!"
+
+"Yes," said the other. "He's been telephoning in regular reports as
+to Carpenter's doings. And now it's been arranged that he is to put
+an infernal machine in the Socialist headquarters where Carpenter
+has been staying!"
+
+I was almost speechless. "You mean--to blow them up?"
+
+"No, to blow up their reputations. Hamby is to lure Carpenter out to
+the street, and when the gang grabs him, Hamby will fire a shot, and
+there will be three or four secret agents in the crowd, who will
+incite the others, and see to it that Carpenter is lynched instead
+of being tarred and feathered!"
+
+
+
+LIV
+
+
+So there was the layout; and now, what was to be done? The first
+thing was to call Abell on the phone, and see if anything had
+happened. I picked up the receiver; but alas, the report was, "No
+answer." I urged "central" to try several times, but all I could get
+was, "I am ringing them." Carpenter, no doubt, was praying. What
+were the others doing? I kept on trying, but finally gave up.
+
+Could the mob have taken them away? But Old Joe answered, no, a
+definite hour had been set. The ex-service men were to gather on the
+stroke of midnight. We had nearly an hour yet.
+
+My first thought was that we should hurry to the Socialist
+headquarters and get Carpenter out of the way. But my friend pointed
+out that the place was certain to be watched, and we might find
+ourselves held up by the armed detectives; they would hardly take a
+chance of letting their prey escape at this hour. Also, I realized
+there was no use figuring on any plan that involved spiriting
+Carpenter away quietly, by the roof, or a rear entrance, or anything
+of that sort. He would insist on staying and facing his enemies.
+
+I put my wits to work. We needed a good-sized crowd; we needed, in
+fact, a mob of our own. And suddenly the word brought to me an
+inspiration; that mob which T-S had drilled at Eternal City! I
+recalled that a year or so ago I had been lured to sit through a
+very dull feature picture which the magnate had made, showing the
+salvation of our country by the Ku Klux Klan; and I knew enough
+about studio methods to be sure they had not thrown away the
+costumes, but would have them stored. Here was the way to save our
+prophet! Here was the way to get what one wanted in Mobland!
+
+I picked up the receiver and called Eternal City. Yes, Mr. T-S was
+there, but he was "on the lot" and could not be disturbed. I gave my
+name, and stated that it was a matter of life and death; Mr. T-S
+must come to the phone instantly. A couple of minutes later I heard
+his voice, and told him the situation, and also my scheme. He must
+come himself, to make sure that his orders were obeyed; he must
+bring several bus-loads of men, clad in the full regalia of
+Mobland's great Secret Society; and they must arrive at Abell's
+place precisely on the stroke of midnight. The men must be paid five
+dollars apiece, and be told that if they succeeded in bringing away
+the prophet unharmed, they would each get ten dollars extra. "I will
+put up that money," I said to T-S; but to my surprise he cried: "You
+ain't gonna put up nuttin'! God damn dem fellers, I'll beat 'em if
+it costs me a million!" So I realized that the prophet had made one
+more convert!
+
+"Have you got that bus with the siren?" I asked; and when he
+answered, yes, I said, "Let that be the signal. When we hear it, Joe
+and I will bring Carpenter down to the street, and if the Brigade is
+there, it's up to you to persuade them you're the bigger mob!"
+
+Then Old Joe and I ran down to my car, and drove at full speed to
+the Socialist headquarters; and on the way we worked out our own
+plan of campaign. The real danger-point was Hamby, the secret agent,
+and we must manage to put him out of the way. Despite his pose of
+"pacifism," he was certain to be armed, said Old Joe; yet we must
+take a chance, and do the job unarmed. If we should get into a
+shooting-scrape, they would certainly put it onto us; and they would
+make it a hanging matter, too.
+
+I named over the members of Carpenter's party who had stayed with
+him. Andy Lynch, the ex-soldier, was probably a useful man, and we
+would get his help. We would get rid of Hamby, and then we would
+wait for T-S and his siren. By the time these plans were thoroughly
+talked out, we had reached the building in which the headquarters
+were located. There were lights in the main room upstairs, and the
+door which led up to them was open. The street was apparently
+deserted, and we did not stop to look for any "operatives," but left
+our machine and stole quietly upstairs and into the room.
+
+
+
+LV
+
+
+Comrade Abell sat at the table, with his head bowed in his arms,
+sound asleep. Lynch, the ex-soldier, and Tom Moneta, the Mexican,
+were lying on the floor snoring. And on a chair near the doorway,
+watching the scene, sat Hamby, wide awake. We knew he was awake,
+because he leaped to his feet the instant we entered the door. "Oh,
+it's you!" he said, recognizing me; I noted the alarm in his voice.
+
+I beckoned to him, softly. "Come here a moment;" and he came out
+into the ante-room. At the same time Old Joe stepped across the big
+room, and stooped down and waked up Lynch. We had agreed that Joe
+was to give Lynch a whispered explanation of the situation, while I
+kept Hamby busy.
+
+"Where is Mr. Carpenter?" I asked.
+
+"He's in the private office, praying."
+
+"Well," said I, "there's a sick woman who needs help very badly. I
+wonder if we'd better disturb him."
+
+"I don't know," said Hamby. "I've been here an hour, and haven't
+heard a sound. Maybe he's asleep."
+
+I was uncertain what I should do, and I elaborately explained my
+uncertainty. Of course, praying was an important and useful
+occupation, and I knew that the prophet laid great stress upon it,
+and all of us who loved him so dearly must respect his wishes.
+
+"Yes, of course," said Hamby.
+
+Yet at the same time, I continued, this woman was very ill, a case
+of ptomaine poisoning--
+
+"Do you think he can cure that?" asked Hamby guilelessly; and at
+that moment Old Joe and Lynch came from the big room. Hamby started
+to turn, but he was too late. Old Joe's arms went around him, and
+Hamby's two elbows were clamped to his sides, in a grip which more
+than one professional wrestler in our part of the world has found it
+impossible to break. At the same time I stooped on my knees and
+grasped the man's two wrists; because we were taking no chances of
+his gun. Lynch, the ex-soldier, had a cloth, taken from the big
+table, and he flung this over the head of the "pacifist" and stifled
+his cries.
+
+I took a revolver from his hip-pocket, but Joe was not satisfied.
+"Search him carefully," said he, and so I discovered another weapon
+in a side-pocket. Then I made hasty search in a big closet of the
+room, and found a lot of bundles of books and magazines tied with
+stout cords. I took the cords, and we bound the "pacifist's" wrists
+and ankles, and put a gag in his mouth, and then we felt sure he was
+really a pacifist. We carried him to the closet and laid him on the
+floor, where a humorous idea came to us. These bundles of magazines
+and books were no doubt the ones which the mob had confiscated from
+Comrade Abell. Since they were no longer saleable, they might as
+well be put to some use, so I gathered armfuls of them and
+distributed them over the form of Hamby, until there was no longer a
+trace of him visible.
+
+And while I was doing this, I noticed in one corner of the closet,
+under the bundles, a wooden box about a foot square. Upon trying to
+lift it, I discovered that it weighed several times as much as it
+should have weighed if it had contained printed matter. "Here's our
+infernal machine," I whispered, and I picked it up gingerly, and
+tiptoed out of the room, and back to the kitchen, and down a rear
+stairway of the building. I unlocked the door and opened it--and
+there, crouching in the shadows alongside the door, just as I
+expected, I saw a man.
+
+"Hello!" I whispered.
+
+"Hello!" said he, badly startled.
+
+"Here's something belonging to Hamby. He wants me to give it to you.
+Be careful, it's heavy." I deposited the box in his hands, and shut
+the door, and turned the lock again, and groped my way upstairs,
+chuckling to myself as I imagined the man's plight. He would not
+know what to make of this incident, and I had an idea he would not
+be able to find out, because he could not leave his post. Nor would
+he have much time to figure over the matter; for when I got back to
+the light, I looked at my watch, and it lacked just three minutes to
+twelve.
+
+I found that Lynch and Old Joe had shut the pacifist in the closet,
+and were in the ante-room waiting for me. I whispered that
+everything was all right. A moment later we heard a sound in the big
+room, and peered in, and saw a door at the far end open--and there
+was Carpenter, standing with his white robes gleaming in the light.
+After a moment I realized that they gleamed even more than was
+natural; I perceived once more that strange "aura" which had been
+noticed at the mass-meeting; and by means of it I noticed an even
+more startling thing. There were drops of sweat on Carpenter's
+forehead, as always when he had labored intensely in his soul. This
+time I saw that the drops were large, and they were drops of blood!
+
+A trembling seized me. I was awe-stricken before this man--afraid to
+go on with what I was doing, and equally afraid to back out. I
+remained staring helplessly, and saw him approach the sleeping
+figures, and stand looking at them. "Could you not watch with me one
+hour?" he said, in his gentle, sad voice; and he put his hand on
+Comrade Abell's shoulder, with the words: "The time has come."
+
+Abell started to his feet, and began to apologize. The other said
+nothing, but stooped and waked Moneta. And at that moment I heard
+the shrill blast of a whistle outside on the street! "There's the
+Brigade!" whispered Old Joe.
+
+
+
+LVI
+
+
+I ran down the stairs, and peered through the doorway, and sure
+enough, there were four or five automobiles stopped before the
+headquarters, having approached from opposite direction. I stood
+just long enough to see a crowd of men in khaki uniforms jumping
+out; then I ran back, and leaving Old Joe and Lynch to keep guard at
+the top of the stairs, I walked in and greeted Carpenter.
+
+He expressed no surprise at seeing me. Evidently his thoughts were
+on other things. For my part, I was trembling with excitement, so
+that my knees would barely hold me. How long would it be before T-S
+and his crowd appeared? I could figure the time it should take them
+to drive from Eternal City; but suppose something held them up? How
+long would the ex-service men stay out on the street, waiting for
+Hamby to answer their signal? Surely not many minutes! They would
+storm the place, and hunt out their victim for themselves. And
+suppose they should carry him off before the others arrived?
+
+I had Hamby's two revolvers in my pocket. Should we use them, or
+not? The thought hit me all of a sudden; and apparently it hit Old
+Joe at the same moment. "Give me those guns, Billy," he whispered,
+and I put them obediently into his hands, and he went quickly into
+the rear rooms. At the end of a minute, he returned, saying, "I
+unloaded them and threw them out of the back window." And even as he
+spoke, the silence of the night outside was shattered by the scream
+of that siren, which served to warn people out of the way when T-S
+was moving his companies about "on location."
+
+I went up to Carpenter. I didn't enjoy telling him a lie; in fact, I
+had an idea that one couldn't lie to him successfully. But I tried
+it. "Mr. Carpenter, Hamby left a message; he had to go downstairs,
+and said he wanted to see you. Would you come down and meet him?"
+
+"Ah, yes!" said Carpenter. And he walked to the door and down the
+stairs without another word. The rest of us followed him; Abell and
+Moneta first, they being innocent and unsuspicious; and then Lynch,
+and then Joe and I.
+
+The prophet stepped out to the street, and was instantly surrounded
+by a group of a dozen ex-service men, two of whom grasped him by the
+arms. He did not lift a hand, nor even make a sound. Comrade Abell,
+of course, started to cry out in protest; Moneta, the Mexican,
+reverted to his ancestors. His hand flashed to an inside pocket, and
+a knife leaped out. A soldier had hold of him, and Moneta shouted,
+"Stand back, or I cut off your ears." At which Carpenter turned, and
+in a stern, commanding voice proclaimed: "Let no man use force in my
+behalf! They who use force shall perish by force." Moneta stood
+still; and of course Lynch and Old Joe and I stood still; and the
+dozen men about Carpenter started to lead him away to their
+automobiles.
+
+But they did not get very far. Upon the silence of the street a
+voice rang out. Ordinarily, one would have known it was the voice of
+a woman; but in this place, under these exciting circumstances, it
+seemed the voice of a supernatural being. It almost sang the words;
+it was like a silver bugle calling across a battle-field--glorious,
+thrilling, hypnotic. "Make way-y-y-y for the Grand Imperial
+Kle-e-e-agle of the Ku-u Klux Klan!" Every one was startled; but I
+think I was startled more that the rest, for I knew the voice! Mary
+Magna had taken another speaking part!
+
+I was on the steps of the building, so I could see over the heads of
+the crowd. There were four of the big busses from Eternal City, two
+having approached from each direction. Some fifty figures had
+descended from them, and others were still descending, each one clad
+in a voluminous white robe, with a white hood over the head, and two
+black holes for eyes, and another for the nose. These figures had
+spread out in a half moon, entirely surrounding the little mob of
+ex-service men, and penning them against the wall of the building.
+In the center of the half moon, standing a few feet in advance, was
+the figure of the "Grand Imperial Kleagle," with a red star upon the
+forehead of the white hood, and shrouded white arms stretched out,
+and in one hand a magic wand with a red light on the end. This wand
+was waving over the Brigade members, and had apparently its full
+supernatural effect, for one and all they stood rooted to the spot,
+staring with wide-open eyes.
+
+
+
+LVII
+
+
+The grand-opera voice raised again its silver chant: "Give way, all
+mobs! Yield! Retire! Abdicate!--Bow down-n-n-n-n! Make way for the
+Mob of Mobs, the irresistible, imperial, superior super-mob! Hearken
+to the Lord High Chief Commanding Dragon of the Esoteric Cohorts,
+the Exalted Immortal Grand Imperial Kleagle of the Ku Klux Klan!"
+
+Then the Grand Imperial Kleagle turned and addressed the white-robed
+throng in a voice of sharp command: "Klansmen! Remember your oath!
+The hour of Judgment is here! The guilty wretch cowers! The grand
+insuperable sentence has been spoken! Coelum animum imperiabilis
+senescat! Similia similibus per quantum imperator. Inexorabilis
+ingenium parasimilibua esperantur! Saeva itnparatus ignotum
+indignatio! Salvo! Suppositio! Indurato! Klansmen, kneel!"
+
+As one man, the host fell upon its knees.
+
+"Klansmen, swear! Si fractus illibatur orbis, impavidum ferient
+ruinae! You have heard the sentence. What is the penalty? Is it
+death?"
+
+And a voice in the crowd cried "Death!" And the others took it up;
+there was a roar: "Death! Death!"
+
+Said the Grand Imperial Kleagle: "Arma virumque cano, tou
+poluphlesboiou thalasses!" Then, facing the staring ex-servicemen:
+"Tetlathi mater erne kai anaskeo ko-omeneper!"
+
+Finally the Grand Imperial Kleagle pointed her shrouded white arm at
+Carpenter, who stood, as pale as death, but unflinchingly. "Death to
+all traitors!" she cried. "Death to all agitators! Death to all
+enemies of the Ku Klux Klan! Condemnatus! Incomparabilis!
+Ingenientis exequatur! Let the Loyal High Inexorable Guardians and
+the Grand Holy Seneschals of the Klan advance!"
+
+Six shrouded figures stepped out from the crowd. Said the Grand
+Imperial Kleagle: "Possess yourselves of the body of this guilty
+wretch!" And to the ex-servicemen: "Yield up this varlet to the High
+Secret Court-martial of the Klan, which alone has power to punish
+such as he."
+
+What the bewildered members of the Brigade made of all this
+hocus-pocus I had no idea. Afterwards, when the adventure was over,
+I asked Mary, "Where in the world did you get that stuff?" And she
+told me how she had once acted in a children's comedy, in which
+there was an old magician who spent his time putting spells on
+people. She had had to witness his incantations eight or ten times a
+week for nearly a year, so of course the phrases had got fixed in
+her memory, and they had served just as well to impress these
+grown-up children.
+
+Or perhaps the ex-servicemen thought this might be a further plan of
+those who had employed them. Whatever they thought, it was obvious
+that they were hopelessly outnumbered. There could be nothing for a
+mob to do but yield to a Super-mob; and they yielded. Those who were
+in front of Carpenter stepped back, and the Loyal High Inexorable
+Guardians and the Grand Holy Seneschals took Carpenter by the arms
+and led him away. Apparently they were going to overlook the rest of
+us; but Old Joe and Lynch and myself took Abell and Moneta by the
+shoulders and shoved them along, past the ex-service men and into
+the midst of the "Klansmen."
+
+There was no need to consider dignity after that. We hustled
+Carpenter to the nearest of the busses, and put him in; the Grand
+Imperial Kleagle followed, and the rest of us clambered in after
+her. Sitting up beside the driver, watching the scene, was T-S,
+beaming with delight; he got me by the hand and wrung it. I could
+not speak, my teeth were literally chattering with excitement.
+Carpenter, sitting in the seat behind us, must have realized by now
+the meaning of this scandalous adventure; but he said not a word,
+and the white-gowned Klansmen piled in behind him, and the siren
+shrieked out into the night, and the bus backed to the corner, and
+turned and sped off; and all the way to Eternal City, T-S and I and
+Old Joe slapped one another on the back and roared with laughter,
+and the rest of the Klansmen roared with laughter--all save the
+Grand Imperial Kleagle, who sat by Carpenter's side, and was
+discovered to be weeping.
+
+
+
+LVIII
+
+
+T-S and I had exchanged a few whispered words, and decided that we
+would take Carpenter to his place, which was a few miles in the
+country from Eternal City. He would be as safe there as anywhere I
+could think of. When we had got to the studios, we discharged our
+Klansmen, and arranged to send Old Joe to his home, and the three
+disciples to a hotel for the night; then I invited Carpenter to step
+into T-S's car. He had not spoken a word, and all he said now was,
+"I wish to be alone."
+
+I answered: "I am taking you to a place where you may be alone as
+long as you choose." So he entered the car, and a few minutes later
+T-S and I were escorting him into the latter's showy mansion.
+
+We were getting to be rather scared now, for Carpenter's silence was
+forbidding. But again he said: "I wish to be alone." We took him
+upstairs to a bed-room, and shut him in and left him--but taking the
+precaution to lock the door.
+
+Downstairs, we stood and looked at each other, feeling like two
+school-boys who had been playing truant, and would soon have to face
+the teacher. "You stay here, Billy!" insisted the magnate. "You
+gotta see him in de mornin'! I von't!"
+
+"I'll stay," I said, and looked at my watch. It was after one
+o'clock. "Give me an alarm-clock," I said, "because Carpenter wakes
+with the birds, and we don't want him escaping by the window."
+
+So it came about that at daybreak I tapped on Carpenter's door,
+softly, so as not to waken him if he were asleep. But he answered,
+"Come in;" and I entered, and found him sitting by the window,
+watching the dawn.
+
+I stood timidly in the middle of the room, and began: "I realize, of
+course, Mr. Carpenter, that I have taken a very great liberty with
+you--"
+
+"You have said it," he replied; and his eyes were awful.
+
+"But," I persisted, "if you knew what danger you were in--"
+
+Said he: "Do you think that I came to Mobland to look for a
+comfortable life?"
+
+"But," I pleaded, "if you only knew that particular gang! Do you
+realize that they had planted an infernal machine, a dynamite bomb,
+in that room? And all the world was to read in the newspapers this
+morning that you had been conspiring to blow up somebody!"
+
+Said Carpenter: "Would it have been the first time that I have been
+lied about?"
+
+"Of course," I argued, "I know what I have done--"
+
+"You can have no idea what you have done. You are too ignorant."
+
+I bowed my head, prepared to take my punishment. But at once
+Carpenter's voice softened. "You are a part of Mobland," he said;
+"you cannot help yourself. In Mobland it is not possible for even a
+martyrdom to proceed in an orderly way."
+
+I gazed at him a moment, bewildered. "What's the good of a
+martyrdom?" I cried.
+
+"The good is, that men can be moved in no other way; they are in
+that childish stage of being, where they require blood sacrifice."
+
+"But what kind of martyrdom!" I argued. "So undignified and
+unimpressive! To have hot tar smeared over your body, and be hanged
+by the neck like a common criminal!"
+
+I realized that this last phrase was unfortunate. Said Carpenter: "I
+am used to being treated as a common criminal."
+
+"Well," said I, in a voice of despair, "of course, if you're
+absolutely bent on being hanged--if you can't think of anything you
+would prefer--"
+
+I stopped, for I saw that he had covered his face with his hands. In
+the silence I heard him whisper: "I prayed last night that this cup
+might pass from me; and apparently my prayer has been answered."
+
+"Well," I said, deciding to cheer up, "you see, I have only been
+playing the part of Providence. Let me play it just a few days
+longer, until this mob of crazy soldier-boys has got out of town
+again. I am truly ashamed for them, but I am one of them myself, so
+I understand them. They really fought and won a war, you see, and
+they are full of the madness of it, the blind, intense passions--"
+
+Carpenter was on his feet. "I know!" he exclaimed. "I know! You need
+not tell me about that! I do not blame your soldier-boys. I blame
+the men who incite them--the old men, the soft-handed men, who sit
+back in office-chairs and plan madness for the world! What shall be
+the punishment of these men?"
+
+"They're a hard crowd--" I admitted.
+
+"I have seen them! They are stone-faced men! They are wolves with
+machinery! They are savages with polished fingernails! And they have
+made of the land a place of fools! They have made it Mobland!"
+
+I did not try to answer him, but waited until the storm of his
+emotion passed. "You are right, Mr. Carpenter. But that is the fact
+about our world, and you cannot change it--"
+
+Carpenter flung out his arm at me. "Let no man utter in my presence
+the supreme blasphemy against life!"
+
+So, of course, I was silent; and Carpenter went and sat at the
+window again, and watched the dawn.
+
+At last I ventured: "All that your friends ask, Mr. Carpenter, is
+that you will wait until this convention of the ex-soldiers has got
+out of town. After that, it may be possible to get people to listen
+to you. But while the Brigade is here, it is impossible. They are
+rough, and they are wild; they are taking possession of the city,
+and will do what they please. If they see you on the streets, they
+will inflict indignities upon you, they will mishandle you--"
+
+Said Carpenter: "Do not fear those who kill the body, but fear those
+who kill the soul."
+
+So again I fell silent; and presently he remarked: "My brother, I
+wish to be alone."
+
+Said I: "Won't you please promise, Mr. Carpenter--"
+
+He answered: "I make promises only to my Father. Let me be."
+
+
+
+LIX
+
+
+I went downstairs, and there was T-S, wandering around like a big
+fat monk in a purple dressing gown. And there was Maw, also--only
+her dressing gown was rose-pink, with white chrysanthemums on it. It
+took a lot to get those two awake at six o'clock in the morning, you
+may be sure; but there they were, very much worried. "Vot does he
+say?" cried the magnate.
+
+"He won't say what he is going to do."
+
+"He von't promise to stay?"
+
+"He won't promise anything."
+
+"Vell, did you lock de door?"
+
+I answered that I had, and then Maw put in, in a hurry: "Billy, you
+gotta stay here and take care of him! If he vas to gome downstairs
+and tell me to do someting, I vould got to do it!"
+
+I promised; and a little later they got ready a cup of coffee and a
+glass of milk and some rolls and butter and fruit, and I had the job
+of taking up the tray and setting it in the prophet's room. When I
+came in, I tried to say cheerfully, "Here's your breakfast," and not
+to show any trace of my uneasiness.
+
+Carpenter looked at me, and said: "You had the door locked?"
+
+I summoned my nerve, and answered, "Yes."
+
+Said he: "What is the difference to me between being your prisoner
+and being the prisoner of your rulers?"
+
+Said I: "Mr. Carpenter, the difference is that we don't intend to
+hang you."
+
+"And how long do you propose to keep me here?"
+
+"For about four days," I said; "until the convention disbands. If
+you will only give me your word to wait that time, you may have the
+freedom of this beautiful place, and when the period is over, I
+pledge you every help I can give to make known your message to the
+people."
+
+I waited for an answer, but none came, so I set down the tray and
+went out, locking the door again. And downstairs was one of T-S's
+secretaries, with copies of the morning newspapers, and I picked up
+a "Times," and there was a headline, all the way across the page:
+
+KU KLUX KLAN KIDNAPS KARPENTER RANTING RED PROPHET DISAPPEARS IN
+TOOTING AUTOS
+
+I understood, of course, that the secret agency which had
+engineered the mobbing of the prophet would have had their stories
+all ready for our morning newspapers--stories which played up to
+the full the finding of an infernal machine, and an unprovoked
+attack upon ex-service men by the armed followers of the "Red
+Prophet." But now all this was gone, and instead was a story
+glorifying the Klansmen as the saviors of the city's good name. It
+was evident that up to the hour of going to press, neither of the
+two newspapers had any idea but that the white robed figures were
+genuine followers of the "Grand Imperial Kleagle." The "Times"
+carried at the top of its editorial page a brief comment in large
+type, congratulating the people of Western City upon the promptness
+with which they had demonstrated their devotion to the cause of law
+and order.
+
+But of course the truth about our made-to-order mob could not be
+kept very long. When you have hired a hundred moving-picture actors
+to share in the greatest mystery of the age, it will not be many
+hours before your secret has got to the newspaper offices. As a
+matter of fact, it wasn't two hours before the "Evening Blare" was
+calling the home of the movie magnate to inquire where he had taken
+the kidnapped prophet; there was no use trying to deny anything,
+said the editor, diplomatically, because too many people had seen
+the prophet transferred to Mr. T-S's automobile. Of course T-S's
+secretary, who answered the phone, lied valiantly; but here again,
+we knew the truth would leak. There were servants and chauffeurs and
+gardeners, and all of them knew that the white robed mystery was
+somewhere on the place. They would be offered endless bribes--and
+some of them would accept!
+
+In the course of the next hour or two there were a dozen newspaper
+reporters besieging the mansion, and camera men taking pictures of
+it, and even spying with opera glasses from a distance. Before my
+mind's eye flashed new headlines:
+
+MOVIE MAGNATE HIDES MOB PROPHET FROM LAW
+
+This was an aspect of the matter which we had at first overlooked.
+Carpenter was due at Judge Ponty's police-court at nine o'clock that
+morning. Was he going? demanded the reporters, and if not, why not?
+Mary Magna no doubt would be willing to sacrifice the two hundred
+dollars bail that she had put up; but the judge had a right to issue
+a bench warrant and send a deputy for the prisoner. Would he do it?
+
+Behind the scenes of Western City's government there began forthwith
+a tremendous diplomatic duel. Who it was that wanted Carpenter
+dragged out of his hiding-place, we could not be sure, but we knew
+who it was that wanted him to stay hidden! I called up my uncle
+Timothy, and explained the situation. It wasn't worth while for him
+to waste his breath scolding, I was going to stand by my prophet. If
+he wanted to put an end to the scandal, let him do what he could to
+see that the prophet was let alone.
+
+"But, Billy, what can I do?" he cried. "It's a matter of the law."
+
+I answered: "Fudge! You know perfectly well there's no magistrate or
+judge in this city that won't do what he's told, if the right people
+tell him. What I want you to do is to get busy with de Wiggs and
+Westerly and Carson, and the rest of the big gang, and persuade them
+that there's nothing to be gained by dragging Carpenter out of his
+hiding-place."
+
+What did they want anyway? I argued. They wanted the agitation
+stopped. Well, we had stopped it, and without any bloodshed. If they
+dragged the prophet out from concealment, and into a police court,
+they would only have more excitement, more tumult, ending nobody
+could tell how.
+
+I called up several other people who might have influence; and
+meanwhile T-S was over at his office in Eternal City, pleading over
+the telephone with the editors of afternoon papers. They had got the
+Red Prophet out of the way during the convention, and why couldn't
+they let well enough alone? Wasn't there news enough, with five or
+ten thousand war-heroes coming to town, without bothering about one
+poor religious freak?
+
+When you shoot a load of shot at a duck, and the bird comes tumbling
+down, you do not bother to ask which particular shot it was that hit
+the target. And so it was with these frantic efforts of ours. One
+shot must have hit, for at eleven o'clock that morning, when the
+case of John Doe Carpenter versus the Commonwealth of Western City
+was reached in Judge Ponty's court, and the bailiff called the name
+of the defendant and there was no answer, the magistrate in a single
+sentence declared the bail forfeited, and passed on to the next case
+without a word. And all three of our afternoon newspapers reported
+this incident in an obscure corner on an inside page. The Red
+Prophet was dead and buried!
+
+IX
+
+I took up Carpenter's lunch at one o'clock, and discovered, to my
+dismay, that he had not tasted his breakfast. I ventured to speak to
+him; but he sat on a chair, gazing ahead of him and paying no
+attention to me, so I left him alone. At six o'clock in the evening
+I took up his dinner, and discovered that he had not touched either
+breakfast or lunch; but still he had nothing to say, so I took back
+the dinner, and went downstairs, and said to T-S: "We've got
+ourselves in for a hunger strike!"
+
+Needless to say, under the circumstances we did not very heartily
+enjoy our own dinner. And T-S, neglecting his important business,
+stayed around; getting up out of one chair and walking nowhere, and
+then sitting down in another chair. I did the same, and after we had
+exchanged chairs a dozen times--it being then about eight o'clock in
+the evening--I said: "By the way, hadn't you better call up the
+morning papers and persuade them to be decent." So T-S seated
+himself at the telephone, and asked for the managing editor of the
+Western City "Times," and I sat and listened to the conversation.
+
+It began with a reminder of the amount of advertising space which
+Eternal City consumed in the "Times" in the course of a year, and
+also the amount of its payroll in the community. It wasn't often
+that T-S asked favors, but he wanted to ask one now; he wanted the
+"Times" to let up on this prophet business, and especially about the
+prophet's connection with the moving picture industry. Everything
+was quiet now, the prophet wasn't bothering anybody--
+
+Suddenly, at the height of his eloquence, T-S stopped; and it seemed
+to me as if he jumped a foot out of his chair. "VOT!" And then, "Vy
+man, you're crazy!" He turned upon me, his eyes wide with dismay.
+"Billy! Dey got a report--Carpenter is shoost now speakin' to a mob
+on de steps of de City Hall!"
+
+The magnate did not wait to see me jump out of my chair or to hear
+my exclamations, but turned again to the telephone. "My Gawd, man!
+Vot do I know about it? De feller vas up in his room two hours ago
+ven we took him his dinner! He vouldn't eat it, he vouldn't speak--"
+
+That was the last I heard, having bolted out of the room, and
+upstairs. I found Carpenter's door locked; I opened it, and rushed
+in. The place was empty! The bird had flown!
+
+How had he got out? Had he climbed through the window and slid down
+a rain-spout in his prophetic robes? Had he won the heart of some
+servant? Had some newspaper reporter or agent of our enemies used
+bribery? I rushed downstairs, and got my car from the garage; and
+all the way to the city I spent my time in such futile speculations.
+How Carpenter, having escaped from the house, had managed to get
+into town so quickly--that was much easier to figure out; for our
+highways are full of motor traffic, and almost any driver will take
+in a stranger.
+
+I came to the city. Even outside the crowded district, the traffic
+was held up for a minute or two at every corner; so I found time to
+look about, and to realize that the Brigade had got to town. All day
+special trains had been pouring into the city, literally dozens of
+them by every road; and now the streets were thronged with men in
+uniform, marching arm in arm, shouting, chanting war-cries, roaming
+in search of adventure. Tomorrow was the first day of the
+convention, the day of the big parade: tonight was a night of riot.
+Everything in town was free to ex-service men--and to all others who
+could borrow or buy a uniform. The spirit of the occasion was set
+forth in a notice published on the editorial page of the "Times":
+
+"Hello, bo! Have a cigarette. Take another one. Take anything you
+see around the place.
+
+"The town is yours. Take it into camp with you. Scruff it up to your
+heart's content. Order it about. Let it carry grub to you. Have it
+shine your shoes. Hand it your coat and tell it to hold it until the
+show is over.
+
+"We are all waiting your orders. Shove us back if we crowd. Push us
+off the street. Give us your grip and tell us where to deliver it.
+Any errands? Call us. If you want to go anywhere, don't ask for
+directions. Just jump into the car and tell us where you're bound
+for.
+
+"Let's have another one before we part. Put up your money; it's no
+good here. This one's on Western City."
+
+I saw that it was not going to be possible to drive through the jam,
+so I put my car in a parking place, and set out for the City Hall on
+foot. On the way I observed that the invitation of the "Times" had
+been accepted; the Brigade had taken possession of the town. It was
+just about possible to walk on the down-town streets; there were
+solid masses of noisy, pushing people, every other man in uniform.
+Evidently there had been a tacit agreement to repeal the Eighteenth
+amendment to the Constitution for the next three days; bootleggers
+had drawn up their trucks and automobiles along the curbs, and
+corn-whiskey, otherwise known as "white lightnin'," was freely sold.
+You would meet a man with a bottle in his hand, and the effects of
+other bottles in his face, who would embrace you and offer you a
+drink; in the same block you would meet another man who would invite
+you to buy drinks for everybody in sight. The town had apparently
+agreed that no invitation should be declined. If the great Republic
+of Mobland had been unable to make for its returned war-heroes the
+new world which it had promised them--if it could not even give them
+back the jobs they had had before they left--surely the least it
+could do was to get them drunk!
+
+And several times in each block you would have to get off the
+sidewalk for a group of ten or twenty flushed, dishevelled men,
+playing the great national game of craps. "Roll the bones!" they
+would shout, completely ignoring the throngs which surged about
+them. Each had his pile of bills and silver laid out on the
+pavement, and his bottle of "white lightnin';" now and then one
+would take a swig, and now and then one would start singing:
+
+    All we do is sign the pay-roll--
+    And we don't get a goddam cent.
+
+You would go a little farther, and find a couple of automobiles
+trying to get past, and a merry crowd amusing itself throwing large
+waste cans in front of them. Some one would shout: "Who won the
+war?" And the answer would come booming: "The goddam slackers;" or
+maybe it would be, "The goddam officers." The crowd would move along,
+starting to chant the favorite refrain:
+
+    You're in the army now,
+    You're not behind the plow--;
+    You son-of-a---,
+    You'll never get rich--
+    You're in the army now!
+
+And from farther down the street would come a chorus from another
+crowd of marchers:
+
+    I got a girl in Baltimore,
+    The street-car runs right by her door.
+
+Every now and then you would come on a fist-fight, or maybe a fight
+with bottles, and a crowd, laughing and whooping, engaged in pulling
+the warriors apart and sitting on them. Through a mile or two of
+this kind of thing I made my way, my heart sinking deeper with
+misgiving. I got within a couple of blocks of the City Hall, and
+then suddenly I came upon the thing I dreaded--my friend Carpenter
+in the hands of the mob!
+
+
+
+LXI
+
+
+They had got hold of a canvas-covered wagon, of the type of the old
+"prairie-schooner." You still find these camped by our roadsides now
+and then, with nomad families in them; and evidently one of these
+families had been so ill advised as to come to town for the
+convention. The rioters had hoisted their victim on top of the
+wagon, having first dumped a gallon of red paint over his head, so
+that everyone might know him for the Red Prophet they had been
+reading about in the papers. They had tied a long rope to the shaft
+of the wagon, and one or two hundred men had hold of it, and were
+hauling it through the streets, dancing and singing, shouting
+murder-threats against the "reds." Some ran ahead, to clear the
+traffic; and then came the wagon, lumbering and rocking, so that the
+prophet was thrown from side to side. Fortunately there was a hole
+in the canvas, and he could hold to one of the wooden ribs.
+
+The cortege came opposite to me. On each side was a guard of honor,
+a line of men walking in lock-step, each with his hands on the
+shoulders of the one in front; they had got up a sort of chant: "Hi!
+Hi! The Bolsheviki prophet! Hi! Hi! The Bolsheviki prophet!" And
+others would yell, "I won't work! I won't work!"--this being our
+Mobland nickname for the I.W.W. Some one had daubed the letters on
+the sides of the wagon, using the red paint; and a drunken fellow
+standing near me shook his clenched fist at the wretch on top and
+bellowed in a fog-horn voice: "Hey, there, you goddam Arnychist, if
+you're a prophet, come down from that there wagon and cure my
+venereal disease!" There was a roar of laughter from the throng, and
+the drunken fellow liked the sensation so well that he walked
+alongside, shouting his challenge again and again.
+
+Then I heard a crash behind me, and a clatter of falling glass; I
+turned to see a soldier, inside the Royal Hotel, engaged in chopping
+out the plate-glass window of the lobby with a chair. There were
+twenty or thirty uniformed men behind him, who wanted to get out and
+see the fun; but the door of the hotel was blocked by the crowd, so
+they were seeking a direct route to the goal of their desires.
+
+I knew, of course, there was nothing I could do; one might as well
+have tried to stop a hurricane by blowing one's breath. Carpenter
+had wanted martyrdom, and now he was going to get it--of the
+peculiar kind and in the peculiar fashion of our free and
+independent and happy-go-lucky land. We have had many agitators and
+disturbers of our self-satisfaction, and they have all "got theirs,"
+in one form or another; but there had never been one who had done
+quite so much to make himself odious as this "Bolsheviki prophet,"
+who was now "getting his." "Treat 'em rough!" runs the formula of
+the army; and I fell in step, watching, and thinking that later I
+might serve as one of the stretcher-bearers.
+
+Half way down the block we came to the Palace Hotel, and uniformed
+men came pouring out of that. I heard the shrieks of a woman, and
+put my foot on the edge of a store-window, and raised myself up by
+an awning, to see over the heads of the crowd. Half a dozen rowdies
+had got hold of a girl; I don't know what she had done--maybe her
+skirts were too short, or maybe she had been saucy to one of the
+gang; anyhow, they were tearing her clothes to shreds, and having
+done this gaily, they took her on their shoulders, and ran her out
+to the wagon, and tossed her up beside the Red Prophet. "There's a
+girl for you!" they yelled; and the drunken fellow who wanted
+Carpenter to cure him, suddenly thought of a new witticism: "Hey,
+you goddam Bolsheviki, why don't you nationalize her?" Men laughed
+and whooped over that; some of them were so tickled that they danced
+about and waved their arms in the air. For, you see, they knew all
+the details concerning the "nationalization of women in Russia," and
+also they had read in the papers about Mary Magna, and Carpenter's
+fondness for picture-actresses and other gay ladies. He stretched
+out his hand to the girl, to save her from falling off; and at this
+there went up such a roar from the mob, that it made me think of
+wild beasts in the arena. So to my whirling brain came back the
+words that Carpenter had spoken: "It is Rome! It is Rome! Rome that
+never dies!"
+
+The cortege came to the "Hippodrome," which is our biggest theatre,
+and which, like everything else, had declared open house for Brigade
+members during the convention. Some one in the crowd evidently knew
+the building, and guided the procession down a side street, to the
+stage-entrance. They have all kinds of shows in the "Hippodrome,"
+and have a driveway by which they bring in automobiles, or
+war-chariots, or wild animals in cages, or whatever they will. Now
+the mob stormed the entrance, and brushed the door-keepers to one
+side, and unbolted and swung back the big gates, and a swarm of
+yelling maniacs rushed the lumbering prairie-schooner up the slope
+into the building.
+
+The unlucky girl rolled off at this point, and somebody caught her,
+and mercifully carried her to one side. The wagon rolled on; the
+advance guard swept everything out of the way, scenery as well as
+stage-hands and actors, and to the vast astonishment of an audience
+of a couple of thousand people, the long string of rope-pullers
+marched across the stage, and after them came the canvas-covered
+vehicle with the red-painted letters, and the red-painted victim
+clinging to the top. The khaki-clad swarm gathered about him,
+raising their deafening chant: "Hi! Hi! The Bolsheviki prophet. Hi!
+Hi! The Bolsheviki prophet!"
+
+I had got near enough so that I could see what happened. I don't
+know whether Carpenter fainted; anyhow, he slipped from his perch,
+and a score of upraised hands caught him. Some one tore down a
+hanging from the walls of the stage set, and twenty or thirty men
+formed a cirfcle about it, and put the prophet in the middle of it,
+and began to toss him ten feet up into the air and catch him and
+throw him again.
+
+And that was all I could stand--I turned and went out by the rear
+entrance of the theatre. The street in back was deserted; I stood
+there, with my hands clasped to my head, sick with disgust; I found
+myself repeating out loud, over and over again, those words of
+Carpenter: "It is Rome! It is Rome! Rome that never dies!"
+
+A moment later I heard a crash of glass up above me; I ducked, just
+in time to avoid a shower of it. Then I looked up, and to my
+consternation saw the red-painted head and the red and white
+shoulders of Carpenter suddenly emerging. The shoulders were quickly
+followed by the rest of him; but fortunately there was a narrow shed
+between him and the ground. He struck the shed, and rolled, and as
+he fell, I caught him, and let him down without harm.
+
+
+
+LXII
+
+
+I expected to find my prophet nearly dead; I made ready to get him
+onto my shoulders and find some place to hide him. But to my
+surprise he started to his feet. I could not see much of him,
+because of the streams of paint; but I could see enough to realize
+that his face was contorted with fury. I remembered that gentle,
+compassionate countenance; never had I dreamed to see it like this!
+
+He raised his clenched hands. "I meant to die for this people! But
+now--let them die for themselves!" And suddenly he reached out to me
+in a gesture of frenzy. "Let me get away from them! Anywhere,
+anyway! Let me go back where I was--where I do not see, where I do
+not hear, where I do not think! Let me go back to the church!"
+
+With these words he started to run down the street; hauling up his
+long robes--never would I have dreamed that a prophet's bare legs
+could flash so quickly, that he could cover the ground at such
+amazing speed! I set out after him; I had stuck to him thus far, and
+meant to be in at the finish, whatever it was. We came out on
+Broadway again, and there were more crowds of soldier boys; the
+prophet sped past them, like a dog with a tin-can tied to its tail.
+He came to a cross-street, and dodged the crowded traffic, and I
+also got through, knocking pedestrians this way and that. People
+shouted, automobiles tooted; the soldiers whooped on the trail. I
+began to get short of breath, a little dizzy; the buildings seemed
+to rock before me, there were mobs everywhere, and hands clutching
+at me, nearly upsetting me. But still I followed my prophet with the
+bare flying legs; we swept around another corner, and I saw the goal
+to which the tormented soul was racing--St. Bartholomew's!
+
+He went up the steps three at a time, and I went up four at a time
+behind him. He flung open the door and vanished inside; when I got
+in, he was half way up the aisle. I saw people in the church start
+up with cries of amazement; some grabbed me, but I broke away--and
+saw my prophet give three tremendous leaps. The first took him up
+the altar-steps; the second took him onto the altar; the third took
+him up into the stained-glass window.
+
+And there he turned and faced me. His paint-smeared robes fell down
+about his bare legs, his convulsed and angry face became as gentle
+and compassionate as the paint would permit. With a wave of his
+hand, he signalled me to stand back and let him alone. Then the hand
+sank to his side, and he stood motionless. Exhausted, dizzy, I fell
+against one of the pews, and then into a seat, and bowed my head in
+my arms.
+
+
+
+LXIII
+
+
+I don't know just how much time passed after that. I felt a hand on
+my shoulder, and realized that some one was shaking me. I had a
+horror of hands reaching out for me, so I tried to get away from
+this one; but it persisted, and there was a voice, saying, "You must
+get up, my friend. It's time we closed. Are you ill?"
+
+I raised my head; and first I glanced at the figure above the altar.
+It was perfectly motionless; and--incredible as it may seem--there
+was no trace of red paint upon either the face or the robes! The
+figure was dignified and serene, with a halo of light about its
+head--in short, it was the regulation stained glass figure that I
+had gazed at through all my childhood.
+
+"What is the matter?" asked the voice at my side; and I looked up,
+and discovered the Reverend Mr. Simpkinson. He recognized me, and
+cried: "Why, Billy! For heaven sake, what has happened?"
+
+I was dazed, and put my hand to my jaw. I realized that my head was
+aching, and that the place I touched was sore. "I--I---" I
+stammered. "Wait a minute." And then, "I think I was hurt." I tried
+to get my thoughts together. Had I been dreaming; and if so, how
+much was dream and how much was reality? "Tell me," I said, "is
+there a moving picture theatre near this church?"
+
+"Why, yes," said he. "The Excelsior."
+
+"And--was there some sort of riot?"
+
+"Yes. Some ex-soldiers have been trying to keep people from going in
+there. They are still at it. You can hear them."
+
+I listened. Yes, there was a murmur of voices outside. So I realized
+what had happened to me. I said: "I was in that mob, and I got
+beaten up. I was knocked pretty nearly silly, and fled in here."
+
+"Dear me!" exclaimed the clergyman, his amiable face full of
+concern. He took me by my shoulders and helped me to my feet.
+
+"I'm all right now," I said--"except that my jaw is swollen. Tell
+me, what time is it?"
+
+"About six o'clock."
+
+"For goodness sake!" I exclaimed. "I dreamed all that in an hour! I
+had the strangest dream--even now I can't make up my mind what was
+dream and what really happened." I thought for a moment. "Tell me,
+is there a convention of the Brigade--that is, I mean, of the
+American Legion in Western City now?"
+
+"No," said the other; "at least, not that I've heard of. They've
+just held their big convention in Kansas City."
+
+"Oh, I see! I remember--I read about it in the 'Nation.' They were
+pretty riotous--made a drunken orgy of it."
+
+"Yes," said the clergyman. "I've heard that. It seems too bad."
+
+"One thing more. Tell me, is there a picture of Mr. de Wiggs in the
+vestry-room?"
+
+"Good gracious, no!" laughed the other. "Was that one of the things
+you dreamed? Maybe you're thinking of the portrait they are showing
+at the Academy."
+
+"By George, that's it!" I said. "I patched the thing up out of all
+the people I know, and all the things I've read in the papers! I had
+been talking to a German critic, Dr. Henner--or wait a moment! Is he
+real? Yes, he came before I went to see the picture. He'll be
+entertained to hear about it. You see, the picture was supposed to
+be the delirium of a madman, and when I got this whack on the jaw, I
+set to work to have a delirium of my own, just as I had seen on the
+screen. It was the most amazing thing--so real, I mean. Every person
+I think of, I have to stop and make sure whether I really know them,
+or whether I dreamed them. Even you!"
+
+"Was I in it?" laughed Mr. Simpkinson. "What did I do?"
+
+But I decided I'd better not tell him. "It wasn't a polite dream," I
+said. "Let me see if I can walk now." I started down the aisle.
+"Yes, I'm all right."
+
+"Do you suppose that crowd will bother you again? Perhaps I'd better
+go with you," said the apostle of muscular Christianity.
+
+"No, no," I said. "They're not after me especially. I'll slip away
+in the other direction."
+
+So I bade Mr. Simpkinson good-bye, and went out on the steps, and
+the fresh air felt good to me. I saw the crowd down the street; the
+ex-service men were still pushing and shouting, driving people away
+from the theatre. I stopped for one glance, then hurried away and
+turned the corner. As I was passing an office building, I saw a big
+limousine draw up. The door opened, and a woman stepped out: a bold,
+dark, vivid beauty, bedecked with jewels and gorgeous raiment of
+many sorts; a big black picture hat, with a flower garden and parts
+of an aviary on top--
+
+Her glance lit on me. "My God! Will you look who's here!" She came
+to me with her two hands stretched out. "Billy, wretched creature, I
+haven't laid eyes on you for two months! Do you have to desert me
+entirely, just because you've fallen in love with a society girl
+with the face of a Japanese doll-baby? What's the matter with me,
+that I lose my lovers faster than I get them? I just met Edgerton
+Rosythe; he's got a good excuse, I admit--I'm almost as much scared
+of his wife as he is himself. But still, I'd like a chance to get
+tired of some man first! Want to come upstairs with me, and see what
+Planchet's doing to my old grannie in her scalping-shop? Say, would
+you think it would take three days' labor for half a dozen Sioux
+squaws to pull the skin off one old lady's back? And a week to tie
+up the corners of her mouth and give her a permanent smile! 'Why,
+grannie,' I said, 'good God, it would be cheaper to hire Charlie
+Chaplin to walk around in front of you all the rest of your life.'
+But the old girl was bound to be beautiful, so I said to Planchet,
+'Make her new from the waist up, Madame, for you never can tell how
+the fashions'll change, and what she'll need to show.'"
+
+And so I knew that I was back in the real world.
+
+
+
+APPENDIX
+
+
+We live in an age, the first in human history, when religion is
+entirely excluded from politics and politics from religion. It may
+happen, therefore, that millions of men will read this story and
+think it merely a joke; not realizing that it is a literal
+translation of the life of the world's greatest revolutionary
+martyr, the founder of the world's first proletarian party. For the
+benefit of those whose historical education has been neglected, I
+append a series of references. The number to the left refers to a
+page of this book. The number to the right is a parallel reference
+to a volume of ancient records known as the Bible; specifically to
+those portions known as the gospels according to Matthew Everett,
+Mark Abell, Luka Korwsky, and John Colver.
+
+11........Matthew 14:27
+
+14........Matthew 6:21
+
+16........Isaiah 3:16-26
+
+17........Mark 12:37
+
+70........Luke 6:24
+
+70........John 15:17
+
+72........Luke 9:38
+
+73........Luke 4:40
+
+75........Luke 11:46
+
+78........Matthew 19:14
+
+84........John 15:27
+
+85........Luke 6:25
+
+90........Matthew 12:39
+
+95........Matthew 12:34
+
+99........Matthew 10:9
+
+102........Luke 4:5-8
+
+107........Matthew 26:34
+
+114........Matthew 26:69-75
+
+117........James 5:1-6
+
+119........Matthew 7:7
+
+120........Matthew 7:11
+
+123........Matthew 10:34
+
+123........Matthew 10:16-17
+
+129........Luke 23:23
+
+131........Matthew 9:9
+
+135........Acts 17:24
+
+136........Matthew 21:12
+
+136........Exodus 20:7
+
+136........Matthew 21:13
+
+138........Matthew 5:39-40
+
+140........Matthew 23:l-33
+
+143........Mark 6:56
+
+143........Luke 6:19
+
+144........Matthew 25:36
+
+144........Matthew 21:6
+
+145........Mark 3:20
+
+145........Luke 5:29
+
+146........Matthew 9:37
+
+146........Luke 4:39
+
+150........John 19:26
+
+153........Matthew 19:16
+
+155........Mark 15:14
+
+162........Matthew 5:9
+
+164........Luke 4:18
+
+164........Luke 19:40-44
+
+164........Matthew 11:5
+
+167........Matthew 5:44
+
+171........Matthew 27:14
+
+171........Matthew 8:20
+
+175........Matthew 26:7-13
+
+176........Luke 1:52
+
+179........Matthew 11:19
+
+180........Matthew 5:11
+
+182........Luke 20:20
+
+182........Matthew 26:22
+
+183........Matthew 26:36
+
+185........John 18:3
+
+186........Luke 22:4
+
+190........Matthew 26:40
+
+192........Luke 22:44
+
+193........Matthew 26:40
+
+194........Luke 14:43
+
+195........Matthew 26:52
+
+202........Mark 14:36
+
+203........Matthew 10:28
+
+214........Mark 15:18
+
+214........Luke 23:38
+
+214........Matthew 27:40
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's They Call Me Carpenter, by Upton Sinclair
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