diff options
Diffstat (limited to '59640-0.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | 59640-0.txt | 9052 |
1 files changed, 9052 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/59640-0.txt b/59640-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6313c5e --- /dev/null +++ b/59640-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9052 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 59640 *** + + + +Nore: Images of the original pages are available through + Internet Archive. See + https://archive.org/details/tenantsepisodeof00wattrich + + + + + +THE TENANTS + +An Episode of the '80s + +by + +MARY S. WATTS + + +[Illustration: Logo] + + + + + + +New York +The McClure Company +MCMVIII + +Copyright, 1908, by The McClure Company + +Published, March, 1908 + + +THE TENANTS + + + + +CHAPTER ONE + + +They were tearing down the old Gwynne house the other day as we drove +past, and it was not without a twinge of sentimental regret that we +beheld the spectacle. The old Gwynne house was what our newspapers +delight to honour by referring to as an "historic landmark." In the +huge, expensive, devastating, and reconstructing haste of a growing +American town--a town of the middle West at that--any building +twenty-five years of age is likely to be so described; but this must +have numbered all of four-score. Many valiant notable deeds and people +were associated with it; it went through a whole epic of adventures +like--as one might whimsically fancy--a stationary Odysseus. At the +latter end it fell to be that common drudge and slattern among homes, +a boarding-house; reached the last sordid depth as a tenement; and now +they are abolishing it utterly, and a new subdivision to be called, I +believe, Gwynne Park Place, will presently flourish above the grave. +Once upon a time there _was_ a park; it lay upon the utmost border +of town, and brick walls bound with a ribbon of stone along the top, +kept the house and its outlying lawns in a pompous seclusion. That was +all swept away long ago; of late the ground has been reclaimed from +slums and shanties and laid out in building-lots, curbed, sewered, +gas-mained. But you may see here and there a single elm or buckeye, +keeping yet amongst the spruce new flower-beds and within call of +factory-whistles, some air of its antique dignity, remote and cool. In +my time Doctor Vardaman's cottage, hard by where you used to turn into +the Gwynne driveway, was the only other dwelling hereabouts; a great, +spraddling, staring apartment-house covers the site of it now. + +Governor Gwynne built his mansion--as he probably called it--in the +year eighteen-thirty or thereabouts; and being an admirer of the +classic and a wealthy man for those days, treated himself to a fine +Parthenon front, with half a dozen stone pillars in the Doric taste +springing from the black-and-white pavement of the veranda to uphold +the overreach of the roof, "Governor Gwynne's Attic roof," as some wit +of the mid-century once styled it; that wretched pun survives to-day in +a kind of deathless feebleness; it will only pass from men's memories +with the house itself. Much the same fashion of architecture is popular +nowadays, but people pay more attention to comfort. The governor's +pillars were ingeniously disposed so as to darken all the windows +looking that way, whether in the double parlours on the first floor, +the bed-chambers on the second, or the big ballroom over the entire +house on the third. It was a rather gloomy splendour in which the old +gentleman lived, I think. The rich, ponderous mahogany furniture, +the dismal brocade draperies, the hair-cloth and brass nails, the +ghastly white marble mantelpieces carved with mortuary-looking urns +and cornucopias spilling out cold white marble fruits, with which he +embellished his abode, were yet to be seen when I was a child. The +hall was decorated with a wall-paper setting forth the wanderings of +Aeneas, wherein he and his companions marched, fought, and sailed +progressively all about the walls and up the stairs, ending--entirely +innocent of any irony--with the descent into hell, and the awful +waves of Phlegethon flaming on either side of the double-doors +into the ballroom, on the top landing. The sternness of the subject +somehow subdued or dominated its brilliant colouring; and I have +never been able to divest my mind of that incongruous association. +For me the pale helmsman still steers toward that ballroom door; and +it is beside Governor Gwynne's ancient black walnut newel-post that I +shall always behold the splendid figure of the hero lusty and living +amongst the exiguous shadows. In the library the Governor's law-books +paraded along the shelves in close order behind the securely locked, +shining glass-and-mahogany doors; in the dining-room there stood a +grim old mahogany wine-cellaret like a short upright coffin; it was +difficult to imagine any sort of good-cheer proceeding from that +forbidding receptacle, but out of it Governor Gwynne had entertained +Andrew Jackson, Captain Marryat, Henry Clay, a whole long register of +celebrities. And I believe--under correction, for the date is cloudy in +my recollection--that he was preparing to entertain the Prince of Wales +with its help, when that young gentleman visited this country, had not +humanity's oldest and best-known guest called upon him earlier. They +used to show you the exact spot in the vast darkling front parlour on +the south side where his body had lain in state a September afternoon +in 1851, and Chase had pronounced the funeral oration over him. There +was a full-length portrait of him scowling at a scroll of legal cap, +with a big double-inkstand on the table beside him--"handy so he could +shy it at you in case you disagreed," Gwynne Peters used profanely to +suggest--hanging on the parlour wall just opposite the long mirror +between the windows; the chairs and sofas were always shrouded in +white linen covers; white net bags swathed the ornate gilt-and-glass +chandeliers. It was a ghostly place, that room, with a clock mounted in +a kind of Greek temple of alabaster under a glass dome on the mantel +sepulchrally ticking out the irrecoverable hours, and Governor Gwynne +eyeing you sternly from his elevation. He looked not too well pleased +with his canvas immortality and considering what he must see, it was no +wonder. + +He was born some time during the last quarter of the eighteenth +century, and therefore must have been upwards of sixty before the +day when Chase sonorously reminded his hearers in the south parlour +that--"The history of Samuel Gwynne's life was, in very truth, the +history of his native State, so closely was he associated with her +struggles, her vicissitudes, and her achievements.... If zeal, if +integrity, if courage and ability in the discharge alike of public and +private duties can establish a claim upon the grateful remembrance of +posterity, _then_, fellow-citizens, we may well point with pride.... +_This_ was the noblest Roman of them all," etc. A neat pamphlet +containing the address and the Resolutions of the Bar Association was +afterwards printed and distributed; it was only the other day that I +came upon a copy of it, very yellow and dusty, but bearing no marks +of ever having been tampered with by a reader--indeed, some of the +leaves were yet uncut--among other essays and orations of a like nature +blushing unseen in the darkest corner of a second-hand book-shop. From +it I extracted the rhetorical gems just cited, and it is doubtful if +they will ever see the light again, yet I am confident that the old +gentleman deserved much that was said of him, and would have been the +first to deprecate any "pointing with pride." He was an upright judge, +a temperate and God-fearing man; he amassed a handsome fortune, and +served his particular section of the country through two terms as +Governor, rather fancying himself, I believe, in the role of statesman, +and all unwittingly laying the foundations of that intolerable, absurd, +and tragic Gwynne family pride; it beset all his descendants and all +the countless kindred of Gwynnes like a curse. No more arrogantly +self-righteous set of people ever existed; and no more hysterically +clannish. The Governor's memory held them all together for forty years +after his death; only recently, with the introduction of new blood, has +that strange, intangible bond dissolved. Samuel died and was gathered +to his fathers; and Samuel, his son reigned in his stead, and busily +drank himself to death in as short a time as that agreeable result +could be compassed; he was not the first nor the last of the family to +make thus the easy Avernian descent. I have heard some of the Gwynnes +themselves comment upon the familiar fate and character of great men's +sons, as exemplified by Governor Gwynne's with a kind of melancholy +complacence.[1] The Governor left a queer, unjust, and wrong-headed +will--realising, perhaps, how queer, unjust, and wrong-headed were +some of his prospective heirs--tying up a part of his property to the +third generation, devising what seemed an unfair proportion to his +brothers and sisters, of whom it might be said that their name was +legion--Lucien Gwynne, David Gwynne, Charlotte, Eleanor, Marian; I have +never known anyone who could accurately catalogue all the Gwynnes--and +bequeathing the house and furniture to all his children in succession, +as if he had a premonition that none of them would enjoy it long. +There was a son who had run away to sea and was never heard of again; +no provision was made for him in case he should reappear, although he +was the oldest. Then came Sam, that died in a fit of delirium tremens; +then Arthur. Him they found hanging to a beam under the "Attic" roof +one summer morning not long after he had succeeded to the kingdom of +the Gwynnes; and I suppose there was a horrid silence in the attic, +and presently wild, pale-faced women and running and hurry and horses' +hoofs churning the gravel before the door. The body was laid in the +same south parlour and Governor Gwynne stared over his scroll at the +suicide. Arthur left two daughters, young women grown; by the time I +put on long dresses they were two old maids and lived narrowly, doing +their own work, in a little cheap house at the other end of town. They +were always clad alike in the last bombazine that was ever seen among +us, I am sure, and wore their hair in the ringlets of eighteen-sixty, +with knobs of black satin ribbon at the temples. They had the name of +being queer, but then all the Gwynnes were queer. + +After Arthur, a daughter, Harriet Peters, went to live in the house; +she was a widow, Donald Peters having gone into the army--about '62 +or '63, I think--and died of typhus in Libby Prison. One would have +thought the house held out very slender attractions for the remaining +Gwynnes, by this time; but all the heirs were pretty well straitened +in means, and Mrs. Peters probably welcomed any way of reducing +expenses. No one, least of all the heirs themselves, ever seemed to +know, or be able to explain what had become of the Gwynne fortune; +but it is certain that ten years after the Governor's death it was +almost entirely dissipated, except what was held in trust or otherwise +secured. This included the house, which could not be sold, as I have +been told; at any rate Mrs. Peters had it for her life rent-free. I +dare say she had pleasant enough memories of old days when she was a +child and played about the pillars with her brothers and Caroline; +she had two children, two little boys of her own, and she liked the +idea of bringing them up in what she called without the least notion +of being affected, her ancestral home. All the Gwynnes loved their +dreary inheritance; they had as great a fondness and reverence for +their name as if everyone that ever bore it had lived and died in the +odour of sanctity; and doubtless regarded the house with something akin +to the sacred affection of the Israelites for the Temple. I remember +Mrs. Peters when she lived there, a tall woman with the thin, aquiline +features and red hair of the family, going about with her black +skirts and solemn face. Being constantly treated by her friends as a +broken-hearted heroine, the daughter of one departed patriot and widow +of another, I believe the pose became not distasteful to her as years +went on; I have heard her refer to herself in sounding and mournful +phrase as "the last of the Gwynnes,"--whereas, Heavens knows there were +enough Gwynnes to stock a colony! She must have meant that she was the +last of the Governor's immediate descendants--and so she was, excepting +Caroline.[2] + +It was at this time that I began to know the house; as I think of +those days, I suffer a sharp return of that feeling which Mr. Andrew +Lang has somewhere most touchingly and truly called "the _heimweh_ of +childhood." When I was a young lady of eight years or so, they used +to pack me into our elderly phaeton and send me out to the country to +spend the day playing with Gwynne Peters. I wore my white embroidered +piqué, with a pink sash; and the brilliant red-and-green plaid +stockings in which at that period it was the fashion to encase the +legs of little girls. All glorious without was I; the feminine mind +recalls these details with a photographic minuteness. Gwynne was a +gentle little boy about my own age and not very strong, which was one +reason why they asked me, a girl, to play with him. Another, which, +with an elegant modesty, I refrained from mentioning first, was that +Gwynne was very devoted to me--I was Juliet in my plaid stockings! +Romeo wore baggy little trousers that buttoned on a yoke about his +manly waist, if I recollect aright. I had in my possession until a +short while ago--I gave it to Gwynne's eldest daughter the last time +she visited me, finding her screaming with laughter over it and the +other contents of an old desk--a solid and rumpled document reciting +that: "This is to say that i Gwynne Peters do love you Mary Stanley, +and we will be marrid when we grow up in witnes whareoff i have sined +this with my bludd yours respektifly Gwynne Peters." It is painfully +printed on a leaf of thick cream-coloured paper with a high gloss; we +tore it out of an old photograph-album we found in the attic. That was +a charming playground, crowded with the most fascinating assortment of +rubbish, that a nimble imagination could convert into almost any kind +of stage "property." There were broken-down chairs and tables, mildewed +old pictures, carpetbags, bandboxes covered with flowered wall-paper, +saddle-bags and holsters, a round-topped hair-trunk studded with +nails, with mangy bare patches upon its flanks that conferred an air +of reality on it when it figured romantically as a horse, camel, or +other beast in our dramas. We spurred into Araby on that hair-trunk, +we fought with Moslems, we carted off bales of treasure. When fancy +flagged we could turn to two chests of mothy, mouse-eaten old books +that stood under the eaves; no one ever opened the cases in the great +gloomy library downstairs, notwithstanding our pleadings. Gwynne, +who has always been of an affectionately reminiscent disposition, +said to me not so long ago: "I should like to go back and be eleven +years old again, just to read 'Ivanhoe' the first time. Don't you +remember?" Indeed I remembered very well two children huddling by the +low attic window with the book between them; sometimes it is in the +chilly twilight of a winter's afternoon, with eerie shadows hovering +in the corners, and a landscape all in sharp blacks and whites like +an India-ink drawing, outside; sometimes the warm, hasty summer rain +switches on the roof; sometimes there is a fresh chorus of birds +beneath our window, and mating sparrows flit about the chimneys. +"Hound of the Temple--Stain to thine order--Set free the damsel!" +"Bois-Guilbert, notwithstanding the confusion of the bloody fray, +showed every attention to her safety. Repeatedly he was by her side, +and neglecting his own defence, held before her the fence of his +triangular steel-plated shield." "That's the way I'd take care of you," +says Gwynne, not grasping the point of Bois-Guilbert's assiduities +about Rebecca. "Let's play it, and we'll play the trunk's Zamor, the +good steed that never yet failed his master." We could be as noisy as +we chose in the attic, for the whole lofty barn-like ballroom beneath +us intervened to deaden all sounds. There was no other place about +the house where we were allowed to run and shout, and even outside we +must go decorously. We longed to play Robin Hood under the beautiful +old beeches and in the alleys of the garden, but someone was forever +hushing us. Mrs. Peters would come out on the veranda, where, standing +between the columns at the top of the steps in her flowing black she +looked exactly like Medea in the big steel-engraving of "The Marriage +of Jason and Creusa" over the sideboard in the dining room: "Gwynne, +my son, I am astonished. Don't you know you may disturb your Aunt +Caroline?" + +No one ever saw Gwynne's Aunt Caroline. She lived in one of the large +bedrooms towards the front of the house--a bedroom with iron bars at +the windows. "Why are those rods there?" I once asked. "It used to be a +nursery--that's a place where they put babies, you know," said Gwynne, +flushing oddly; he had the singularly delicate, fair skin common to +all red-haired people, and a change of colour showed brilliantly on +his ordinarily pale face. "The bars were put there to keep them from +falling out." I was satisfied; it would never have occurred to me to +doubt Gwynne, who was even touchily truthful. But Miss Clara Vardaman, +the doctor's old-maid sister, who kept house for him, overhearing us, +frowned impartially on us both and shook her head. "Gwynne, child----" +she began severely; then checked herself, and turning upon me with +a severity even greater, in that it was, as I felt, unjust: "You +shouldn't ask so many questions," she said. "Little girls should be +seen and not heard." This was perplexing behaviour in Miss Clara, who, +in general, was the gentlest and tenderest of souls. She cried when the +doctor chloroformed their old cat; I think she would have cut off her +hand rather than spank either one of us, although we must sometimes +have tried her sorely. She used to invite us in and fill us with +doughnuts or other deleterious sweets when she caught us trespassing +in their garden. I remember a transient and rather resentful wonder +at the pained look on her face when she thus reproved us; and she was +afterwards, illogically enough, very gentle with Gwynne, and gave him a +notably larger share of cake than mine. + +It would not have been possible to keep me in ignorance forever +about Aunt Caroline, of course, but the enlightenment came with a +sort of ferocious suddenness. It is one of a good many unpleasant +recollections of mine connected with Gwynne's brother, Sam Peters. +Sam was the elder by two or three years, a cold, surly, hulking lad +of whom I was very much afraid--with reason, for he used his superior +strength to browbeat and bully us. That the two brothers should be +eternally at odds is not surprising; every nursery has its tyrant, +and, remembering our own childish days, we must all be uneasily aware +that our youngsters fight like small savages amongst themselves, and, +as in most primitive communities, might makes right, and the battle +is generally to the strong. Gwynne had a high spirit in his poor +little weak body, and he invariably got the worst of it, yet never +gave in. Every way but physically he had the advantage of his brother, +who was a dull boy--and, I believe, liked Gwynne no better for being +cleverer than himself. "Smarty" was one of his favourite names for +him; I have known him to pummel his junior unmercifully upon some +boyish difference; yet he would sometimes come cringing to both of us +for help with his grimy slate and pencil. It would be hard to say in +which posture I most disliked and feared him; but I have a fancy now +that there was always something uncanny about Sam Peters in his fits +of stubborn silence, of unprovoked anger, of repellent and fawning +submission. He was most often to be found about the stables, and when +his mother's commands--she had scarcely any control over him, and he +treated her alternately with insolent indifference, and with a kind of +wild affection--or the servants' persuasions brought him indoors, came +scowling in upon our mild little games, kicking Gwynne's toys right +and left. He took away our "Ivanhoe" and kept it for days, in mere +spite, for he was not reading it himself--that I could have understood +and almost pardoned; but I never saw him with a book. He invented +various fantastically brutal ways of torturing the pet animals; and +enjoyed beyond measure our frantic tears and expostulations. Sam never +abated his tramping and whistling out of deference to Aunt Caroline; +he stormed through the house when and how he chose, and on Gwynne's +offering a remonstrance one day: "You shut up!" said Sam coarsely. +"Aunt Caroline's crazy, and when I grow up I'm going to send her to the +place where they put mad people so she won't be a bother any more." + +Gwynne's thin face went white; he doubled his feeble fists and struck +out at his brother in a blind and futile indignation. "Don't you +believe him, Mary," he gasped. "It's a lie! How dare you say that, Sam? +How dare you tell?" + +The cook and gardener rushed in, hearing the uproar of this battle and +separated the combatants, or rather the persecutor and his victim, for +Gwynne was helpless under his elder's hailing blows. They were old +servants, for the Gwynnes possessed among other ill-assorted traits, +a faculty for enlisting the lifelong fidelity and affection of their +underlings. + +"My Lord, Mr. Gwynne, whatever is the matter?" said the cook; she took +him on her knee and staunched his bleeding nose with her apron. "Mr. +Sam, for shame! You'd oughtn't to hit your little brother." + +Gwynne would not explain the cause of the quarrel, nor, for that +matter, would Sam; he went off whistling harshly. "He said Miss Gwynne +was crazy," I volunteered. + +"It's a lie," blubbered Gwynne. "It's a lie, ain't it, Hannah?" + +"S-h-h, you mustn't say that naughty word--there now--now," said the +cook soothingly, and she and the gardener exchanged a meaning glance. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[1] Judge Lewis, whom I have quoted more than once in this history, had +a way of saying with prodigious gravity that the Gwynnes as a family +were not without some of the weaknesses of genius; a remark which they +innocently liked to repeat until Gwynne Peters, the only one of them +all who ever discovered the slightest sense of humour, pointed out its +ambiguity.--M. S. W. + +[2] Caroline, poor woman, only died the other day, at nearly ninety, +I think; she must have outlived the "last of the Gwynnes" upwards of +thirty years.--M. S. W. + + + + +CHAPTER TWO + + +Mrs. Peters died rather suddenly the spring of the Centennial year. +That, or the fact that hers was the first funeral I ever went to, has +served to fix the date in my memory. Gwynne, who would be seventeen his +next birthday, came home from college; Sam came home too, of course, +but not from college. He never showed much aptitude for learning, nor +stayed longer than six months in any of the numerous schools to which +he was sent one after another. At the time of his mother's death he +was away on a fishing-trip in Canada, they said. The boys came home, +there was a gathering of the Gwynne clan; that sombre south parlour, +dedicated to such ceremonies, was once more opened, the white covers +came off the chairs, revealing them stark and stiff bluish rosewood and +black horsehair. Otherwise the house seemed nowise different; it was +never a cheerful place. We drove out to the funeral with Mrs. Oldham, +who could not afford either to own or hire a carriage herself, and was +always benevolently remembered by her friends on these occasions. In +spite of, or it may be, because of a gift she had of rich and spicy +talk, Mrs. Oldham was one of the people whom no one ever forgets or +overlooks. + +"Harriet Peters would be alive this minute," she remarked "if it +hadn't been for Caroline. Taking care of Caroline just about killed +Harriet. Think of having to live with _that_ in the house all the +time! I do think the Gwynnes are too funny; anybody else, any other +set of people under the sun would have sent Caroline to an institution +long ago. All these years they've talked about 'poor Carrie,' and made +believe she was just an ordinary invalid, when everybody _knew_, and +they _knew_ they knew that she's as crazy as a loon." "Oh, no, she +isn't that, you know, Kate," said my grandmother mildly. "She's just +melancholy." "Fiddle-de-dee, what's the difference? She's as crazy as +Arthur; they're all queer, you know it. The Peters boy, Sam, you know, +is queer; Clara Vardaman told me so, she's known those children ever +since they were born. What do you suppose they'll do with Caroline +_now_? There's nobody left, particularly, to look after her; for all +their sniffing around about 'poor Carrie,' they'll none of 'em take +her, you'll see. I suppose Governor Gwynne's will must have made some +provision for her--but then, nobody expected her to outlive all the +others. People like that always live forever somehow." Here, as we +passed another carriage, Mrs. Oldham's face, which had been wearing a +very bright and lively expression, suddenly darkened to one of decent +sadness, touched with satisfaction--that expression sacred to the +sympathetic friends who gather about at funerals. We have all seen +it, and, I dare say, worn it ourselves, more than once. Mrs. Oldham +bowed gravely to the other vehicle, and immediately upon its passage, +turned to my grandmother with a lightning vivacity. "That was Lulu +Gwynne--Lulu Stevens, you know," she said. "How old she's beginning to +look, isn't she?" + +I remember listening to Mrs. Oldham with a shocked wonder; she would +not greatly surprise nor offend me nowadays, I am afraid. I have gone +a long way and witnessed funerals a-many since that day, and I have +learned to know that she was no indifferent scoffer, but in her way, +a good-hearted enough woman. She even cried a little at the funeral, +perhaps recalling old times when she and Harriet were girls together; +I thought her, so unsparing is youth, a hideous hypocrite--yet I +cried heartily myself, although I did not care in the least for poor +Mrs. Peters! But who, indeed, young or old, is not somewhat moved by +the brave and sad and beautiful words of the Service? From my place +I could look across at Gwynne sitting quietly with a weeping female +Gwynne on either hand, and marvelled that he shed no tears. He stared +sternly ahead; and I caught myself with shame noting that he seemed +stronger, and was plainly outgrowing his clothes; his wrists stuck out +distressingly, his feet were too large. And Sam--was Sam "queer"? He +did nothing "queer" at the funeral at any rate. Doctor Vardaman was +one of the pall-bearers. We all came away as cheerfully as if it had +been a wedding, it seemed to my severe young mind; I did not know that +everyone is always cheerful coming away from a funeral. The carriages +trot; the hearse-driver pulls up at a wayside watering-trough; he is a +merciful man and merciful to his beasts; by a remarkable coincidence +there is a road-house somewhere in the background, whence he presently +issues, and resumes the reins, wiping his mouth. He hails a friend: +"Hi, Joe, want to ride?" "Don't care if I do." The pall-bearers +exchange cigars and smoke in their carriage. There is a gentle rain +beginning to fall; the shadows lengthen; people comment on the fact +that the cemetery is a long, tiresome ride from town. And as we roll +along, Mrs. Oldham enlivens the journey by sprightly guesses at what on +earth will be done with all the things in the old Gwynne house. + +She would probably have keenly appreciated my opportunities; for, being +asked out to stay with Miss Vardaman--who, innocent old schemer that +she was, undoubtedly had certain sentimental ends in view, regarding +Gwynne and me--at about this time, I was a rather shy and reluctant +witness to what Doctor Vardaman grimly denominated the division of +the spoils. There was so much coming and going of Gwynnes visible +from Miss Clara's sitting-room windows that that simple spinster, who +passed her life in a monotony of neat and even pretty little duties, +became feverishly excited. She forgot the canary, neglected the +doctor's socks, let the rubber-plant in the dining-room languish for +want of water while she gazed and speculated. It is true that on one +occasion Miss Clara retreated from her conning-tower with a scared, +serious face, and asked me, fluttering a little, please to lower the +shade. "We oughtn't to seem to be staring, or to notice at all--it's +awful--awful!" she said incoherently, and kept to the other side of +the house the rest of the afternoon. A closed carriage drove into the +park, and after a space, drove out again--that was all. But I knew +they were taking poor Caroline Gwynne to "the place where they put mad +people," that Sam had promised her so long ago. We wondered under our +breaths whether it was Sam who had ordered it; whether the two boys had +agreed or quarrelled; and what the other Gwynnes had said or done. The +unspeakable isolation of insanity that converts a human being into a +kind of dreadful chattel hung about Caroline; we did not dare to ask a +question. Doctor Vardaman knew all about it, but--"I'm afraid to say +anything to John," whispered Miss Clara. "He wouldn't tell anyhow, +you know. Doctors never do. Poor Carrie! I knew her when we were both +young, before--you know. But she never was quite like other girls. +Poor Carrie! It's thirty years----" + +By the next day, however, Miss Clara had recovered spirits and +interest; and when a furniture-van slouched up Richmond Avenue, and +turned in between the old brick pillars at the entrance to the park, +she could contain herself no longer. "Mary, come here, do look--you +don't seem to notice anything. That's Zimmermann's wagon, I know it, +and I do believe that's young Charlie Gwynne, Horace's Charlie, you +know, the little one, not Gilbert's Charlie, he's at Harvard, on the +seat telling the driver where to go. Nobody ever knows the way out +here. Now isn't that like Jennie Gwynne? She does just love to boss +and manage everybody. I _knew_ something was up when I saw her coming +out every day--she's not so devoted to the boys as all that, you may +be sure. She just wants to tell 'em what to do and how to do it, and +which, and where, and when, and why--some people beat everything. Not +but what Jennie _is_ a good manager, I'll say that for her. I suppose +they're going to divide the things--well, of course, they've got to be +divided, but I do wonder if poor Gwynne will get anything worth having. +The boy's so gentle and quiet, he won't ever think of speaking up, and +saying, 'I ought to have that, Cousin Jennie.' It would be just like +her to--there goes another wagon. Well, _will you look_? It's one of +those nasty, dirty people, those Bulgarians that keep the second-hand +shops down on Scioto Street--well, if that doesn't pass everything! +The idea of selling anything out of Governor Gwynne's house to those +people--Bulgarians! It's enough to make him turn in his grave." + +The doctor, who was a very tall, lean man, laid down his book, arose, +and gravely looked over his sister's head, out of the window at the +procession. + +"I don't think that's a Bulgarian, Clara," he observed solemnly. + +"What, it isn't? Well, John Vardaman, your eyes are failing, +that's all! There, I can see the name on his ramshackle old cart. +Am--Am--Amirkhanian--there, now, what do you think of _that_?" + +"I think he's an Armenian," said the doctor, with no abatement of his +gravity. "I think they're all Armenians--Armenian Jews----" + +"Oh, well, tease if you want to! Armenians or Bulgarians it's all one; +those countries where the men wear petticoats, and everybody drinks +sour milk--horrid! The idea of Jennie Gwynne clearing out the house for +_them_! I don't see how the others can let her run things that way; I +don't believe she knows anything about it. Do you suppose she has ever +heard that those blue India-ware plant-tubs, those great big elegant +things were intended to be given to Lucien's wife? Harriet herself told +me she had found a memorandum of it in her father's desk." + +"Well, she can't very well sell 'em to the Armenians," said Doctor +Vardaman, with an air of profound consideration. "No Armenian that ever +lived would want to drink his sour milk out of a plant-tub. And besides +they have holes in the bottom, and he couldn't!" + +"Oh, you may talk, John, but it's important for somebody to remember +all these things. Jennie Hunter--Jennie Gwynne, I mean, ought to be +told that somebody besides those two forlorn helpless boys knows about +it, and she can't have everything her own way----" + +"Better not interfere, Clara," said the doctor, really serious this +time. And Miss Clara who knew very well herself that she ought not +to interfere, was silenced for a while. All the morning she seethed, +watching one van after another trudge away from the house, laden, +apparently, with old mattresses, stove-pipes, and table-legs; for, +such is the irony of circumstance, that, let a house be ever so +richly supplied otherwise, these useful and universal but singularly +uncomely articles always occupy the positions of most prominence on +a furniture-wagon. Their view fed without appeasing the fire of Miss +Clara's curiosity; she exhausted herself in conjecture. And Doctor +Vardaman had not been gone half an hour on his afternoon's round of +visits when she called me excitedly. + +"Get your hat and coat; I'm going up there right away. You can't tell +what Jennie Gwynne may be doing. I saw something sticking out of the +back of the last wagon, and I won't be positive, of course, but it +looked _very much_ like the top of one of the mahogany posts to that +big four-post bed in Harriet's room; they are solid mahogany, you know, +Mary, carved all the way up with a kind of pineapple-shaped thing on +the top. If Jennie Gwynne's gone and given away that bed that was poor +Gwynne's own mother's, I just won't stand it, that's all! She won't +stop till she's stripped the boys perfectly bare. What's that? Maybe +it's being sent to storage? Oh, pshaw, she'd never do that, it's too +handsome! For a minute I thought it was the bed in the spare-room, +but I remember now that has helmets carved on top of the posts, not +pineapples. Is my bonnet straight? You know, of course, Mary, I don't +think Jennie would do anything dishonest," she added hastily, her +kind old face suddenly perturbed. "I wouldn't for the world have you +think I meant that. But she's always run everything and everybody. I +don't believe Horace Gwynne dares to say his soul's his own--why, you +_know_ that, you've been there. Jennie just can't help it--she's always +perfectly sure she's right, and she never will listen to anybody, or +consider anybody else's opinion worth anything." + +It occurred to me that, in that case, there was not much use +of Miss Clara's rushing in with remonstrances, where much more +angelically-minded persons than she might well have feared to tread; +the Gwynnes were not a family to brook outside interference. But, being +brought up in the seen-and-not-heard tradition, I passively followed +in the old lady's wake. Miss Vardaman's bark was, I knew, a great deal +worse than her bite; and I could hardly fancy her facing down that +ready, cock-sure, and energetic little Mrs. Horace Gwynne. In fact, as +we neared the house, it was obvious that Miss Clara's courage was going +the road of Bob Acres'. She walked slower, commented casually on the +beauty of the spring foliage, and paused in an uneasy hesitation when +we caught sight of another lady--_not_ Mrs. Horace Gwynne--descending +the steps with a bundle in her arms. + +"It's Lulu Stevens," she said in an undertone. "I didn't know _she_ was +out here. _Cormorants!_ Harriet couldn't bear her." + +"Do you suppose I'll ever get home with this thing?" Mrs. Stevens +greeted us cheerily. The last time I had seen her had been at the +funeral, where she listened as attentively as any of us to the great +and awful words in which we are warned that man walketh in a vain +shadow and disquieteth himself in vain; he heapeth up riches and cannot +tell who shall gather them. "I came out on the cars--next time I'll +take the carriage. It's the old French china punch-bowl--you know--the +one that used to stand on top of the wine-cabinet in the dining-room. +Cousin Jennie said she thought I might as well take it, she didn't +believe anybody else wanted it. Cousin Jennie's the oldest, you know, +and she has so much _judgment_. Those are those two old cut-glass +decanters I just wrapped up and put inside. Goodness, it's as heavy as +lead! You ought to see the house, Clara, you just ought to _see_ it! +It's cram-full of everything under the sun, I wouldn't have believed +there was all the truck in it." + +"It won't be there long, I think," said Miss Vardaman, with unnatural +dryness, glaring at the punch-bowl. + +"Well, I don't know," said Mrs. Stevens, quite unconscious of any +sarcasm, which was the last thing in the world one would have looked +for from Miss Clara Vardaman. "It'll take another week to clean it all +out, I believe, though Cousin Jennie is awfully quick and thorough. +The old garret is packed to the eaves, the things there haven't been +touched for twenty-five years. You know poor Harriet never was much +of a housekeeper. Just think, we found eighteen pairs of old shoes +stuck away in a closet--_eighteen_! Some of 'em had rubbers to match. +And there was that pair of crutches one of the boys had when he broke +his leg, and a whole great pile of daguerreotypes taken in the year +One--pretty near everybody in this town--oh, I know it's perfectly +awful to laugh, but you can't help it to save you--old Mrs. Duval, you +know, Clara, in a lace mantle, and corkscrew curls, and a thing like a +tart on a band around her forehead! And some little girl that I think +_must_ be Sallie Gwynne in pantalettes with a poke-bonnet--oh, there're +ever so many we can't place--there's nobody alive now that remembers +'em. There're two or three trunks of old clothes, and Donald Peters' +old uniform and sword, and about a million medicine-bottles, and a set +of false teeth--_false teeth_! Think of it! I'd as soon have expected +to find a coffin-plate." + +"What are they going to do with things like that?" asked Miss Clara, +shamefacedly interested. + +"Why, Cousin Jennie sent down to some of those second-hand people on +Scioto Street. She says it's a great deal better to sell the things and +get a little money for them that can be divided up among the heirs, +than to try and give them away and have everybody dissatisfied. Cousin +Jennie's so _sensible_." + +"It's a shame," Miss Clara commented in a fierce whisper, as the other +went off, radiantly. "That's that beautiful old punch-bowl with the +deep gilt rim and wreath of roses. Daniel Webster's had punch out +of that bowl. And I did so want Gwynne and you to have it in your +house--that is, I--I--I had set my heart on Gwynne's having it, you +know, my dear. Well," she added reflectively, making the best of the +situation, "after all, a good many of the Gwynnes have taken to drink, +so perhaps it's just as well. Only I don't believe Gwynne ever will. +She didn't say a word about the Governor's law-library. Well, now, +Gwynne's going to have that, or I'll know the reason why! I do think it +would be an outrage to give those books to anybody but him--Governor +Gwynne's only grandson--that is, of course, there's Sam. But if Jennie +sets out in that high-handed way to give them to somebody else, I'll +just let her know I'm here, that's all! Mercy, what a noise!" + +There was an unusual colour in her cheeks as we climbed the steps; +her lips moved, rehearsing the biting speeches with which she meant +to confound Jennie Gwynne. That lady was upstairs superintending the +removal of one of the enormous carved wardrobes with full-length +mirrors in the doors; we could hear her shrill voice pitched high in +command, and the men grunting and shoving. All the doors and windows +were wide open, the daylight flaunted shamelessly about the grave, +gloomy, reticent old house. A constant bickering of hammers filled +the air; they were taking down and boxing the pictures. Half a dozen +of the huge line-engravings that used to hang in an orderly row about +the walls, "Signing of the Declaration" over one bookcase, "Sistine +Madonna," over another, "Jason and Creusa," "C'est Moi; Scene in the +Prison of the Conciergerie during the Reign of Terror"--all these +artistic treasures, I say, were down and standing about the rooms +awaiting their turn. The Governor's portrait leaned against the white +marble mantel, and you might see the dust-webs festooning the space +where it had hung. "Poor Harriet, she didn't know a thing about keeping +house!" sighed Miss Clara, observing them. In the library all the books +were piled on the floor, and there stood Gwynne, knee-deep amongst +them, in his shirt-sleeves, looking a little helpless and worried. +A youngster whom I recognised for one of the Lawrence children was +playing on the floor in a corner with a quantity of those small square +flat morocco cases decorated with a sort of bas-relief all over the +outside, in which daguerreotypes were once enshrined. Mrs. Lawrence was +haranguing Gwynne excitedly, yet in a subdued voice, with one wary eye +on the stairs. + +"Of course, I don't say that Cousin Jennie doesn't _mean_ it all for +the best, Gwynne, but if she would _only_ consider a little! She's +positively _insisted_ on my taking the mahogany hat-rack with the +deer's antlers mounted on it, you know--and even after I _said_ to her, +'Why, Cousin Jennie, I'm sure its awfully nice of you to want me to +have it, but I'd be afraid to put that thing in my house, the hall's so +little, and the stairs come right down by the front door, so there's +hardly any room, and I'd be afraid all the time the children would fall +down the steps and put their eyes out on those prongs--it's a perfect +death-trap!' Now, Gwynne, that's every word I said, and I didn't say it +in a disagreeable way at all, I just said, 'Why, Cousin Jennie, I'd be +afraid to take that thing in my house; and I _told_ her on account of +the children and all, just as nicely as I could, and she got just as +mad as could be, and said she supposed I'd like to have the handsomest +thing in the house, the dining-room set, or something like that, and +you _know_, Gwynne, I never _thought_ of such a thing, and I just wish +you'd speak to her----" + +"I'm sorry, Cousin Charlotte," said Gwynne, harassed and weary. +"I--it's really none of my business, you know, the things belong to the +estate, and I suppose Cousin Jennie's the best one to divide them--oh, +Miss Clara!" + +He broke off to come and shake hands eagerly; he was glad to see us, +I think. He had grown tall, and older-looking; his voice plunged from +unnatural heights to unexpected depths with a startling and, I dare +say, rather ludicrous effect. Wouldn't we sit down? "It's--it's all +mussed up," he said, casting an anxious glace around. He called to +the carpenters to stop their racket; it was warm, wasn't it? He'd +have Hannah get us something, some lemonade, wouldn't we like it? +No, he wasn't busy, just packing books, he'd be glad to rest. Sam? +Why--why--Sam had gone--had gone back to Canada, didn't we know it? +There wasn't really anything for Sam to do, you know. Cousin Jennie was +seeing to everything. + +"Jennie has so much _judgment_, you know," Mrs. Lawrence put in. "We +couldn't have anybody, any legal person coming in here to appraise and +divide, that would be simply _horrid_--dear old Uncle Samuel's things. +And Jennie is a perfectly ideal person--so sensible and just. But then +we aren't the kind of family to have any fussing anyhow." + +("Now wasn't that _Gwynne_ all over?" said Miss Clara afterwards. +"She'd just been giving Jennie _Hail Columbia!_ But they might fight +like cats and dogs among themselves, they'd never let an outsider know +it. There's Gwynne Peters, the best boy that ever lived. He'd die +rather than tell a lie, or take what didn't belong to him--and there +he sat, just pleasantly smiling and pretending that everything was all +right, when he was nearly worn out with the fuss and worry!") + +Mrs. Horace Gwynne came downstairs in the rear of the leviathan +wardrobe, ordering and exhorting. As the men staggered down the front +steps with it, she turned into the library. "I suppose your Cousin +Charlotte has been telling you about the hat-rack, Gwynne," she began +in an acid voice. "All I have to say is--oh, how do you do, Miss Clara. +Mercy, Charlotte, tell Marian to come away from those books! Come here +to Cousin Jennie, dearie; what have you got there? Don't hurt that nice +book." + +"It ain't a nice book," said the child resentfully. "It's Revised +Statutes of the State of Ohio--it says: 'Forcible entry does not +c-o-n-con-s-t-i-constitute trespass.' What's 'forcible entry,' Cousin +Gwynne?" + +"Put it down, dear, never mind," said Mrs. Horace kindly. "I want +Gwynne to have all his grandfather's library," she explained, turning +to Miss Vardaman. "It's only right, you know. He's Governor Gwynne's +only grandson--except Sam, of course. But I said to all the family in +the beginning that Gwynne Peters should have those books, it would be +outrageous to give them to anyone else." + +Poor Miss Clara! I could have laughed at the blank expression with +which she beheld this stealing of her thunder. + +"I'm sure you're quite right, Jennie," she said tamely. "You've always +had a great deal of _judgment_. Gwynne, dear, how did you get that +great black bruise on your forehead?" + +"I ran into something," Gwynne said, flushing. + +"Oh, Cousin Gwynne, oh, what an awful story!" Marian piped in her sharp +treble. "It's where Cousin Sam threw the boot at you when he got mad at +you the other day. Cousin Sam had a queer spell, I heard Hannah say so." + +"Marian!" cried her mother savagely. + +"Hannah's getting into her dotage, and imagines things," said +Mrs. Horace Gwynne, reddening to her forehead. "I don't know what +we're going to do with the poor old thing----" They all talked on +desperately. It was a ghastly moment for everybody. The skeleton +rattled its grisly bones in the Gwynne family closet, and there was +something foolishly and pitiably heroic in the gallant effort they made +to silence that hideous activity. Mrs. Lawrence and Mrs. Horace, the +one Gwynne by blood, the other by adoption, forgot their private feud +in the common defence. To your tents, O Israel! + +"You might look over those old daguerreotypes, Miss Clara," Mrs. +Gwynne said. "Marian, run and get them for Miss Vardaman. I don't know +who some of the people are, maybe you'll recognise them." + +Gwynne opened a case. "This one is all going to pieces," he said, as +the little pad of faded green brocade in the lid fell out; behind it +was a slip of yellowed paper. "Oh, look here, it has 'John to Louise, +June, 1839,' on it, 'John to Louise'--who was that, do you suppose?" + +"Let me see it," said Miss Clara. + +"Louise? Maybe that's Louise Andrews--she was a Gwynne, you know," said +Mrs. Lawrence frowning in an effort of recollection. "I can't think of +any other Louise. Is there a picture of her? She was a great beauty." + +"Did you ever see her, Cousin Charlotte?" + +"Goodness, no, she's been dead I don't know how long." + +"I remember her," said Miss Vardaman. "I'm so much older than any of +you. She married Leonard Andrews, she didn't live very long. Yes, she +was very pretty. That's John's picture. Yes, I suppose it _does_ look +funny, but that's the way they all dressed, you know, in those days. +They were engaged and then they quarrelled about something--oh, dear +me, it's years and years ago." + +"You'd better take that picture, Miss Clara," said Mrs. Horace Gwynne +briskly. "Maybe Doctor Vardaman would like to have it, and--oh, I was +going to speak to you about something. You know I'm managing everything +and it's an awful responsibility; I've counted all the towels and +sheets and measured all the pieces of goods I've found--nothing +ought to be wasted or thrown away, you know. There're a whole lot of +medicine-bottles upstairs, over three hundred--do you think the doctor +could use them? They're very good bottles, you know, no corks of +course--I thought maybe the doctor----" + +"John wouldn't have any use for them, I thank you, Jennie," said Miss +Clara, stiffening. + +Gwynne's eyes met mine. "The wistaria on the dining-room porch is going +to bloom, don't you want to see it?" said he, biting his lips. + +We retreated to the wistaria, and both of us, propped against the +dining-room wall, gave away to hysterical laughter, all the more +violent because we must smother it. Gwynne's nerves, I think, were a +little unstrung by all he had been through the last melancholy week. +"I--I can't help it----" he gasped. "I know it's all wrong, but I can't +help it. They're so funny!" + +We were presently visited with retribution for our ungodly merriment; +for, as we stood there, an Armenian--or Bulgarian--gentleman came +around the corner of the house with a wheelbarrow heaped with the spoil +of the garret, and after him another bearing on his shoulders our old +hair-trunk. Hardly any hair was left upon it, now; but there it was +long and low and round-topped with rows of brass nails black with +verdigris. It was going away on the Armenian shoulders--going out of +our lives forever like those childish days. Gwynne looked at me with a +rather tremulous smile. + +"'Ha, Saint Edward! Ha, Saint George!' exclaimed the Black Knight, +cutting down a man at each invocation," he quoted. "Don't, Mary!" For +I am ashamed to say that I sat down on the top step and cried openly, +while the boy tried to comfort me. + + + + +CHAPTER THREE + + +Herewith began another volume in the saga of the old Gwynne house. +After nearly fifty years of Gwynnes, it must now pass to other +ownership. The thing happens every day, and should be no great tragedy; +few Americans are born and live and die in the same house, and a +building of any sort rarely remains the property of one family for +more than a generation. But the Gwynnes, one and all, mourned aloud +and refused to be comforted. Governor Gwynne's house, Uncle Samuel's +house, the house that great man planned and built, whose hospitalities +had been enjoyed by the very best and highest in the land! Why, the +State ought to buy that house! The State was of a different opinion, +although the house was offered at a ridiculously low price, not more +than twice what it was worth. None of the Gwynnes, it appeared, could +afford to buy it in, or even rent it, the expense of living there was +so terrifying. At that distance from town, one must keep a horse and +carriage, the street-cars being so far away; the care of the park and +garden required one man's whole time; and there was the huge old house +itself. It had at least sixteen rooms, and with its high ceilings, +and long rambling hallways, took as much coal to heat it in our +winters as three ordinary houses. Besides, it had--ahem--undeniably +run down somewhat during poor Harriet's administration, and was in +need of costly repairs. No, alack and alas! the house must be sold or +leased--dreadful profanation! The furniture was at last cleared out; +the Governor's portrait went down to the State-house, and you may see +him there at this moment, in line with all the rest of the governors, +but in a rather obscure corner--such is the notorious ingratitude of +republics. All the Gwynne establishments in town blossomed out with +relics, brass andirons, branch candlesticks, horse-hair sofas--people +confided to one another that, on the whole, Mrs. Horace Gwynne had made +a pretty fair division; she herself sternly declined to take anything +but the alabaster clock in the south parlour. That mausoleum-looking +engine now ticks out the time from the middle of a charming white wood +mantel in her eldest son's "colonial" residence. It long since ticked +out eternity for Mrs. Gwynne, as for some of the other friends we met +in the last chapter. The Armenians finally accomplished the dismantling +of the attic and cellar; the contents, Gwynne Peters once told me, +brought just seventy-two dollars. "That was a little less than four +dollars all around," he said with a grin. "I spent my four on my first +box of cigars, and got awfully sick on the very first one I tried to +smoke, I remember--as if it were for a judgment on me!" He went back +to college. Old Hannah went, whimpering, to live in the country with a +married niece. The windows were boarded up, the old iron gates chained +across; and, for a while, an advertisement appeared in our papers, +and, I believe, in some of the big New York and Chicago ones: "FOR +SALE OR LEASE--Commodious mansion built by the late Governor Gwynne, +delightfully situated in the suburbs, within easy walking-distance of +two lines of cars.[3] Large grounds, fruit and shade trees, stable, +dairy, etc. House of twenty rooms in perfect order with all modern +improvements. Suitable for a young ladies' seminary or summer-hotel. +For further particulars address Virgil H. Templeton, Agt. for the +Gwynne Estate." + +There is a peculiar fascination in these artless notices; one may +read whole columns of such Paradises awaiting tenants, every morning +in the journals. They are so rich in promise, so fertile in pleasant +suggestion, it seems as if a person might spend a happy lifetime in +the simple pursuit of renting and moving into them one after another. +But, strange to say, for many months Mr. Virgil H. Templeton piped and +nobody would dance! The causes of both health and education suffered +serious neglect; nobody showed the least anxiety to teach young ladies +in the commodious mansion built by the late Governor Gwynne; nobody +wanted to establish a summer-resort within easy walking-distance of two +lines of cars. Once in a while someone would come in, get the keys, +and go out to inspect the place; but invariably "they laughed as they +rode away," like the false knight in the ballad. It is possible that +the disadvantages connected with living in it which the family had +noticed, were, by some strange chance, apparent to would-be tenants +also. Templeton did his best; he placarded the brick walls of the +park; he changed and re-worded his advertisements; he even lowered +the terms and promised repairs! All these measures were looked upon +with strong disfavour by the family; and it is safe to say that no +real-estate dealer before or since has ever come in for the share of +bullying and badgering that that well-meaning man received. The two +old Misses Gwynne, Arthur's daughters, put on their two old bonnets, +and went down to Judge Lewis' office, where the unfortunate agent had +a desk, declaiming loudly against the vulgarity of advertising their +noble ancestral residence in the _common_ papers where every ragamuffin +might read their names shamelessly printed. "Want me to go 'round and +whisper it to everybody, I s'pose," said Templeton in a rage, when they +had left. He was an excitable little man. Mrs. Horace Gwynne visited +him with the information that she, for one, would never consent to +the house being rented for less than two hundred. "Cents or dollars, +ma'am?" asked Templeton politely sarcastic. "You're quite as likely +to get one as the other." Steven Gwynne, as "queer" a body as one +commonly sees at large without a keeper--he was a Southern sympathiser, +and never cut his hair or beard after the fall of Vicksburg--ambushed +Templeton in Judge Lewis' own room, to tell him roundly that what was +good enough for Governor Gwynne was good enough for any damned upstart +that wanted to rent his house, and that not one square inch of new +wall-paper should go on those walls, so help him, if he, Steven Gwynne, +had to camp on the doorstep with a shot-gun! The judge witnessed +these passages-at-arms with mingled annoyance and amusement; it was +a nuisance of course, he said; he was minded to evict Templeton a +dozen times--but how it did enliven the dull legal round! The Gwynnes +and their agent furnished that jolly and kind-hearted jurist with +material for some of the best after-dinner stories he ever told. "By +George," he used to say, "it got so that whenever one of my clerks +came in and found a Gwynne lying in wait for Templeton and breathing +fire and slaughter, he'd post somebody in the hall, and when Templeton +came along: 'Hey, go slow, Temp., the enemy's poisoned the well!' and +Templeton would shin for the street so fast you could play checkers on +his coat-tail!" + +The fact is the poor old house was going to rack and ruin as rapidly as +so solid and substantial a structure could go; the wonder was that Mrs. +Peters had managed to get along at all in that comfortless monument +to the Gwynne family-pride, but living there was probably a point of +honour with her, that fantastic standard of honour, to which all the +race of Gwynnes clung with a fanatic tenacity. No single member of the +family could afford to spend any money on the house, and concerted +action among fifteen or twenty Gwynne heirs was, as their agent +speedily found out, next to an impossibility. The only thing about +which they were in entire concord was the glory past, present, and to +come of their name; they saw desecration in laying hands upon the torn +and mildewed wall-paper, the blistered varnish, the leaking roofs of +Uncle Samuel's shrine. It would have taken twelve or fifteen hundred +dollars to put the place in order, at the least; and indeed as time +went on, it promised to take more. The viewless forces of destruction +invade an empty house, and lay it waste like a devastating army. "If +they would just let me shingle the roof anyhow," said Templeton in +despair. "But the only one of 'em all that has any sense is that young +Peters fellow--not the queer one, you know, the one that's on the ranch +in New Mexico, but that other, that nice tall red-haired boy. Trouble +is, he's a minor. You just wait a couple of years or so till he's +twenty-one and through college, and I'll bet he makes 'em all stand +'round!" + +The stout, excitable little man displayed more penetration than one +would have supposed he possessed. Gwynne did make them stand 'round. +When he came home on his vacations, you might see him prowling +about the place with a delegation of unwilling relatives, arguing, +explaining, persuading. Being a Gwynne himself, the boy knew how to get +at his kin, upon what side to take them without offence. There was very +little boyishness about his weary, anxious, gently humorous face, and +the family all knew, that, young as he was, he already had one grave +and bitter care. Perhaps that made them respect him; there are some +people that never grow up, and, conversely, there are some who never +seem to have any youth. When Gwynne came home, the estate's property +all at once took on a smiling look of change. Sidewalks were mended and +shutters painted; the grass was cut in the park and the rubbish cleared +away; he even got them to consent to putting a furnace in the house! +Templeton went about in jubilant relief at having someone to share his +responsibilities. "Told you so! That boy has a _head_! All Peters and +mighty little Gwynne, that's what _he_ is!" + +In spite of their efforts, however, the house, as Templeton pointed +out with a solemn wagging of the head, "was not a paying proposition." +Going away to boarding-school at this time with Kitty Oldham and +others of about our age, we heard and saw less and less of it. Nobody +of our acquaintance would risk the experiment of living in it; it +was only strangers who fitfully came and went as tenants of the old +Gwynne house. Sometimes there would be curtains at the windows, and +smoke hanging from the chimneys; on our next return it would be again +shut and deserted. Those people? Oh, yes, they were in some railroad +position, and they've been moved to Indianapolis. No, no one called +on them, it's so hard to get out there, you know, and they were only +here a few months. Once the tenants scuttled out in a dreadful state +of scare, declaring that Arthur Gwynne's ghost came down and paraded +the ballroom o' nights, with his head on one side, and the rag of +sheet dangling from his twisted neck! "I do hope poor Cousin Eleanor +and Cousin Mollie won't hear that story," said Gwynne, in concern, +and painstakingly invented and retailed to them another excuse for +the sudden cessation of rent. Once, in the summer vacation, the Board +of Lady Managers of the Home for Incurables gave a lawn-party on +the grounds for the benefit of their charity. There were booths set +up and Japanese lanterns swinging under the beeches, and a deal of +noise beneath Caroline Gwynne's windows where we children had been +obliged to go so sedately in the old days. People who had no carriages +came in long weary procession from the Lexington and Amherst Street +cars--within easy walking-distance--bearing their contributions of +bowls of salad and chocolate-cakes shrouded in their oldest napkins. +The house was opened, and the ladies of the committee heated coffee on +the crippled old built-in range in Hannah's kitchen. They every one +agreed in buzzing whispers that the place was a perfect rattle-trap, +and they could not imagine how any people could move out leaving a +house so dirty as the last inmates had done. The young men gaily +took turns drawing water from the ancient clanking pump outside the +kitchen-door, and bringing in armfuls of firewood. Children raced +and romped with a thunderous uproar in the big echoing rooms. In the +evening there was a curtain rigged between the Parthenon pillars, and +a play was given in which Teddy Johns appeared and sang the kind of +topical song popular in those days, of which I remember one verse: + + + "The gloaming one day was beginning to gloam, + That's all, that's all! + When I heard someone say 'The Incurables' Home? + That's all, that's all! + + He told me of servants they had more than eight, + And he thought that the one poor old battered inmate + Must certainly live in magnificent state, + That's all, that's all!" + + +A humorous effort which was received with great applause, the paucity +of Incurables, and the disproportionate energy of their Lady Managers +being a standing joke in our community. Mrs. Oldham was rumoured to +have remarked acutely upon being applied to for a donation to the Home, +that the only thing incurable about it was the idiots who ran it. +Teddy sang and swaggered through his part in a very amusing fashion; +he was good at that sort of entertainment. The fête--anything carried +on out-doors was a fête in those days--was a success, netting _the_ +Incurable the handsome sum of fifty-one dollars twenty-seven cents, +according to Mrs. Lewis' report. And the next day everyone in town +was circulating the story of how some blundering or malicious person +actually went up to poor Gwynne Peters and asked him where Sam was and +what he was doing! + +After this the house went again into one of its periods of eclipse, +so to call them. No one even cared to look it over any more; and few +people visited the neighbourhood at all since dear old Miss Clara +Vardaman died and the doctor gave up practice. If it had not been for +Gwynne I believe the house would have fallen down, and he must have had +a hard pull getting the rest of them to contribute their share of the +taxes and insurance. It was offered for sale at gradually diminishing +terms; they had one chance to dispose of it to a German gentleman who +proposed to convert it into a place of entertainment for the masses +to be called Silberberg's Garden. Templeton was enthusiastically in +favour of this plan, but figure the indignation of the two old Misses +Gwynne! Even Gwynne, while he laughed, was a little ruffled. "Think of +a band-stand and merry-go-round in the park," he said. "German waiters +in their shirt-sleeves dashing from the house with beer-glasses and +plates of wienerwurst, plumbers' apprentices and their girls waltzing +and perspiring in our old ballroom, with a free fight thrown in now +and then by way of variety! And how Doctor Vardaman would relish it! +Picnic parties, sardine-cans, paper napkins, beer-bottles, sentimental +couples spooning, band scraping and tooting 'Die Wacht am Rhein,' and +'How can I leave thee?' under his windows all day long--his property +would be absolutely unsalable. We can't do it, I guess; no, not even +for Silberberg's twenty-five thousand dollars!" I told him he was like +the Arab who wouldn't part from his steed, in the poem at the back of +the Third or Fourth Reader. "My beautiful, my beautiful----" he says; +"Avaunt, tempter, I scorn thy gold!" And, springing on the horse's +back, vanishes into the desert. Thus did all the Gwynnes turn up their +noses--in the vernacular--at Silberberg. Templeton was very doleful. +"You're missing the only chance you'll ever have to get rid of that +damned old white elephant, Mr. Peters," he said. "Why not let the +Dutchman have it? Lord, what difference does it make to you whether he +turns it into a beer-garden or a cemetery? It's had its day." But, for +once in his life, the little real-estate agent was at fault; for, on a +sudden, without notice, fully five years after the house came on the +market, when it had weathered through nearly every vicissitude known +to houses, and its fortunes were at the dregs, the wheel took another +turn--spun clean around--came full circle, in fact. Time and the hour +run through the roughest day. + +FOOTNOTE: + +[3] Easy walking distance! It was between five and six squares on a +very indifferent plank sidewalk, as I have cause to know!--M. S. W. + + + + +CHAPTER FOUR + + +Many warm-hearted people felt a great sympathy for Doctor Vardaman in +his isolation and solitude after Miss Clara's death; I suspect that had +the doctor been an old maid instead of an old bachelor, he would not +have received so much attention. There is something in the spectacle +of an elderly unattached male being, no matter how independent he may +be, or how capable of taking care of himself, that at once engages the +solicitude of all his friends, men and women alike. Everybody felt +sorry for him; everybody wondered how he got along. Doctor Vardaman +was a hale old gentleman verging on seventy, it is true, but still +vigorous of mind and body, and with pronounced notions of his own +on the subject of diet, hygiene, and the conduct of life generally. +No one could have needed benevolent supervision less; but he might +well have prayed with the antique worthy to be delivered from his +friends. At Christmas he used to describe himself as blushing to his +very heels and retreating in shamed confusion before the stern gaze +of the expressman who unloaded case after case of expensive wines +and spirits before his door; that he already had a whole cellar-full +partly of his own collecting, partly inherited from his father, a man +of means and discernment in such matters, made no manner of difference +to these eager and generous givers. If he had smoked as diligently as +a factory-chimney, he could not have vanquished the army of cigars +he received yearly. A centipede would not have accommodated all the +doctor's pairs of knit and crocheted slippers; he solemnly avowed +that there were bales of smoking-jackets and pen-wipers stored in his +garret. He could have paved his walk with paper-weights, yet I never +saw him use but one--a glass globe with a remarkable cameo-looking +head encircled by a wreath of flowers mysteriously embedded beneath +the surface, which Gwynne and I, clubbing our pennies, had presented +to him the first Christmas after we were enlightened on the Santa +Claus subject. He used to laugh and make little jokes about his being +an "universal favourite" like certain patent medicines; yet he had +a sentiment for all this trash, and would not allow it to be thrown +or given away, except when kindness took the form of sending some +perishable delicacy for his table, a frequent occurrence after Miss +Clara's death, as it was known he had some trouble in getting competent +"help." It would have been physically impossible for the doctor to get +through all the aspic jelly, mango-pickle, and fruit-cake bestowed on +him, and he said that it went against his medical conscience to give +these rich dainties away, yet that must be done sometimes. + +I myself have laboriously carried out little trays of orange-marmalade +tumblers which I am sure never did any good to anybody but Mrs. +Maginnis' children, who used to come bare-legged, with their tousled +heads, freckles, and blue eyes to fetch the doctor's wash. It took +no slight gymnastic ability to carry a basket or waiter of such +unmanageable articles as marmalade-glasses, change cars twice, and +pick one's way across the ankle-deep mud of Richmond Avenue, and along +the wooden sidewalk full of loose uncertain boards, as far as Doctor +Vardaman's house. On a gusty April day with a promise of rain in +the air, one must go cumbered with an umbrella and overshoes; only +fancy what that was to a young woman clad in the fashionable costume +of eighty-one, to wit: a skin-tight navy-blue silk "jersey" waist, a +navy-blue bunting skirt kilt-pleated with a voluminous round overskirt, +and a pocket with purse and handkerchief securely concealed somewhere +amongst the folds in the rear; French-heeled shoes, tan-coloured +suède "Bernhardt" gloves, and a tremendous erection of velvet and +feathers that we called a "Gainsborough hat" over all! These modes have +mercifully gone out; but not more, I think, than the simple and kindly +custom of sending glasses of jelly about to one's friends; I should not +presume to ask one of my young acquaintances to perform so unseemly +an office; no one either makes jelly or sends it as a present any +more. Fortunately I fell in with Gwynne Peters on the last lap of the +journey, that is, the Lexington and Amherst cars. + +"Here, let me take that thing," said he, and as I thankfully gave up +to him my burden of sweets--my wrists, not too loosely cased in the +tan-coloured "Bernhardts" fairly aching with the weight--he went on: +"What do you think? I believe we've got the old place rented at last! +Templeton's going to have some people out there this afternoon and I'm +to meet them. But they've been out two or three times already, and he +says they've taken a fancy to it. The man--he's a Colonel Pallinder +from Mobile or New Orleans or somewhere--says it reminds him of his old +home in Virginia, 'befo' the wah,' you know, that's the way he talks." + +"Are they nice? I mean--anybody we'd _know_?" + +"Why, I don't know--yes, I guess so. They're Episcopalians, they were +asking Templeton about Trinity Church. I haven't met them yet, and +you can't go much by what Templeton says--a fellow like that doesn't +know anything except whether people are respectable or not. They're all +grown-ups, no children. I think there's a young lady; Templeton's lost +in admiration of Mrs. Pallinder--told me two or three times, 'She's an +elegant lady, Mr. Peters, very lah-de-dah manners, you know, stylish as +she can be!' Doctor Vardaman's met them; but there's no use asking the +doctor anything, he just grinned when I mentioned the Pallinders, and +said he didn't doubt they'd be a great addition to the neighbourhood." + +Templeton's "livery-rig" was standing at the foot of the wide shallow +steps leading up to the Parthenon portico as we came in sight of it +from the road. The shutters were open; feet and voices went to and fro +inside. A tall slim girl in a red waist (it was a "jersey," I thought) +and hat came out to the carriage and gave the driver some order. The +agent appeared from the back of the house between two more tall people, +a lady and gentleman. Templeton gesticulated, he flourished toward +the grounds, he flourished toward the façade of Doric columns. The +gentleman pulled his beard, which he wore in a long sharply pointing +tuft on his chin, and listened with his head at an angle. "Jiminy! I'm +glad I got that chimney fixed!" ejaculated Gwynne thoughtfully. "You +know I'd like to take away those old iron stags and things from the +front lawn, but Cousin Steven would fall down dead if I touched 'em." + +"Oh, I don't know, Gwynne, somehow they seem to suit the old place, +they've been there so long. Wouldn't it be nice if these people turned +out really--really _nice_, so that the house would be the way it was in +your grandfather's time?" + +"It would _so_!" Gwynne agreed heartily. He looked about. Some way +it seemed as if the thing were not wholly improbable; the fresh +hopefulness of spring was in the air; pockets of new grass showed an +excellent green, the trees were faintly rimmed with colour. All the +thickets piped with birds. There were Arcadian vistas of many smooth +mottled trunks and loftily stooping branches; the old house with its +absurd classic front and assemblage of iron flocks and herds still +became the landscape well. "It _is_ pretty, isn't it?" said the young +man, earnestly. "I should think anybody'd like it, wouldn't you?" + +As he spoke, Templeton, an odd enough herald of good tidings, came +scrunching hastily down the gravel drive from the house. He was too +excited to notice my presence. "By gummy, Mr. Peters," he exclaimed +breathlessly, as soon as he got within hearing distance, "I've landed +'em! You come on up to the house. Three years' lease--you come on +up--privilege of purchase--you want to come right up and meet 'em--by +gummy!" + +Gwynne came grinning to us afterwards, as Doctor Vardaman and I stood +in the old gentleman's porch, to describe the interview. + +"I went up to the house," he said, "and here were Colonel Pallinder, +looking like the Count of Monte Cristo, or the Chevalier de Maison +Rouge, in a low-cut vest and a turn-down collar and black string-tie, +and Mrs. Pallinder--by Jove, Templeton was right, she's an awfully +handsome woman, and the _youngest_ looking, she might be her own +daughter! She was one of their Southern belles, I suppose, only she's +quite fair, light hair and a beautiful complexion--have you noticed her +complexion, doctor?" + +"Mrs. Pallinder's complexion is remarkably well cared-for, I should +say," said the doctor judicially. + +"Yes, I've always understood these Southern women don't do much but eat +candy and fix themselves up. Anyway, she's very striking-looking, much +more so than the daughter. She's a very tall girl, I noticed her eyes +were almost on a level with mine--big black eyes and she kind of rolls +'em around, you know----" + +"What did they have on, Gwynne?" + +He paused; he meditated. "They were all dressed up," he said at last, +with the air of one conveying a piece of valuable information, the +result of close and prolonged study. Again he meditated. "Well, they +were both all dressed up, you know. What's that thing you've got on, +that tight jacket thing--or is it a--a waist? Hers was red, with little +curlycues all over it." + +"You mean it was braided?" + +"Yes, that's it, braided--they were both all dressed up, you know. +Well, then Templeton introduced us, told the colonel who I was, that +is, and he welcomed me as if I had been his long-lost brother with +the strawberry-mark. Called me 'my dear boy' right off--I don't much +care about that sort of thing," said Gwynne, shrugging. "But I suppose +it's his way. Everybody was very cordial, and there was so much +hands-all-round and hurrah-boys, you never would have thought we'd +just met for the first time. It's not the way we're used to up here, +but on the whole, doctor, it's rather nice--they're very interesting +people, and they've got such pleasant Southern voices, and they're gay, +somehow, gay and kind," said Gwynne, who, poor young fellow, had had +little enough either of gaiety or kindness in his experience of life. +"The colonel presented me to the ladies with the grandest flourish you +ever saw, and said he understood this was my ancestral home, and he +knew just how I felt at seeing strangers in it, but I mustn't cease to +look upon it as my home just the same, and that he hoped I would come +there whenever I felt like it; and he didn't know how _I_ thought about +it, but for _his_ part, it seemed to him there was nothing like having +a gentleman for a tenant and a gentleman for a landlord. Right there," +said Gwynne, with a grin, "I might have sprung it on him that he was +going to have quite a few gentlemen and some ladies for a landlord, +but I only said, 'The house belongs to an estate, you know,' and +something about our being so fortunate to have them in it--I _had_ to +say something after all their cordiality. And he went right on, without +paying much attention, 'Ah, indeed?' he thought it quite possible he +might buy it, he wanted to settle down somewhere, he was tired of +travelling about, and he had got his business in such shape that he +_could_ settle down at last." + +"What is his business, Gwynne?" interrupted the doctor suddenly. + +"Why, he's a broker, and Templeton says he's agent for a big syndicate +of Eastern capitalists that have some kind of railroad or mining +interests all over the West. He's rented an office in the Turner +Building. I was going to bring up the subject of repairs, but it +seems Templeton and he had got that all settled already. Pallinder's +going to do a lot himself, about the bathroom and kitchen, and Mrs. +Pallinder doesn't like the wood-work painted white that old-fashioned +way, so they're going to change it, grain it to look like quartered +oak or mahogany. I suppose Cousin Eleanor and the rest of them will go +into fits, and I kind of hate to see the old white wood-work changed +myself," added Gwynne regretfully. "But if the colonel buys the place, +and I'm pretty sure he's going to after putting out all this money on +it, why, it doesn't make any difference what they do to it. The whole +thing's almost too good to be true." + +"It _is_," said Doctor Vardaman, rubbing his chin. "Being agent for an +Eastern syndicate must be a very profitable walk of life--most people +aren't so willing to spend their money on a rented house. Somehow or +other I fear, I very much fear the Danai bringing gifts. Did you meet +the old lady--Mrs. Botlisch? Was she with them?" + +Gwynne began to laugh. "I was going to tell you about her. After we +had gone through the whole house, and the colonel had pointed out +what he meant to change, for instance: 'Those old mirrors over the +parlour-mantels will do very well,' says he, pointing with his cane. +'The frames want a little----' 'Put a lick o' gilt paint over the +bare spots,' says Templeton in a mortal stew for fear they were going +to ask for something expensive. 'That'll make 'em look all right.' +'Exactly--a lick of paint over the bare spots,' said Pallinder, +listening politely and without a smile. 'Mr. Templeton is quite right.' +And with that Mrs. Pallinder began: 'I've been thinking I'll have the +front parlour on the south side done in peacock-blue and old-gold, +Mr. Peters. I saw a lovely paper with the blue ground and large gilt +fleur-de-lys on it downtown that would just suit.' Templeton turned +green. 'Well--er--um--I don't know----' says he. 'Oh, I'll have that +done, Mr. Templeton,' said the colonel--and this time he did laugh, and +winked at me over the little man's head. 'You're a very conscientious +agent, sir,' says he. 'But don't worry. I wouldn't expect you to +gratify a whim like that. I'll let you into a secret, gentlemen, I'm +a terribly hen-pecked man, and being the only one in the family, the +odds are so heavily against me, three to one, that I always jump and do +whatever's wanted without any discussion.' 'I guess it's pretty hard to +refuse Mrs. Pallinder anything,' said Templeton, coming out strong in a +way that nearly floored me; the lady gave him a sweet smile, and Miss +Pallinder laughed outright. 'I'm going to have a paper with pink roses +all over it, and pink curtains to match in my room, if Papa will let +me, Mr. Templeton,' says she, and worked her eyes around at him like +this. 'Now can't you say something nice to _me_?' 'I would, but I'm +afraid Mrs. Templeton would hear of it,' said Templeton, and be hanged +if he didn't roll _his_ eyes around at her," said Gwynne, writhing +with laughter. "And then you ought to have seen Miss Pallinder laugh! +We finally got around to the kitchen, and while the two ladies and +Templeton were inspecting the closets, Colonel Pallinder mysteriously +beckoned me outside. The man had driven Templeton's hack back there so +as to stand in the shade, and I thought I saw somebody sitting on the +rear seat, but I just glanced at it, for the colonel said: 'Ahem--Mr. +Peters, you recall perhaps what the governor of South Carolina said +to the governor of North Carolina? In my section of the country, +sir--he pronounced it, 'suh'--we don't consider a bargain closed until +we've--ahem--poured out a libation to--ah--um--Morpheus.' And upon +that he fished out a very handsome silver-mounted flask from his hip +pocket, with a little silver top that unscrewed and telescoped into a +cup. 'If you'll partake, sir----?' says the colonel, pouring it full, +so we partook, I out of the cup, and he out of the bottle, and I must +say if the colonel's a poor student of the classics, he's a mighty +good judge of whiskey," said Gwynne, with all the air of a connoisseur. +"Only it was a pretty stiff drink. I believe my moustache smells of it +this minute," he added with concern, fingering that exiguous growth +tenderly. "While we were 'partaking,' somebody snorted out so suddenly +that we both jumped and nearly dropped the sacrificial vessels, 'Say, +Billie, I don't mind if I do myself. It's pretty dry work settin' +out here.' And I looked and saw the old woman leaning out of the +carriage----" Gwynne paused, and eyed the doctor inquiringly. + +"Mrs. Botlisch?" + +"Mrs. Botlisch. Doctor Vardaman, how--in--thunder, +now--_how_--_in_--_thunder_ do you suppose they came to have +that--that----?" + +"She's Mrs. Pallinder's mother, I believe," said the old gentleman. + +"Yes, I know, the colonel introduced us right off, and handed over the +flask and cup just as if it were the most natural thing in the world. +'Here's how, bub!' the old woman said, winked at me, turned the whiskey +off like an expert, handed the things back, and wiped her mouth on the +back of her hand. Mrs. Pallinder's mother! It's inconceivable! Doctor, +I swear you could have knocked me down with a straw. The Pallinders +don't seem to make anything of it--but that pretty, delicate-featured +woman, and that slender spirited-looking girl, both of them so +beautifully dressed, and their manners really charming, Doctor--a +little different from what one sees ordinarily, maybe, but charming for +all that! Why, the old woman might be their cook--I can't understand +it! They take it just as a matter of course." + +"Well, I don't know how else you'd have them take it," said the +doctor. "She's Mrs. Pallinder's mother, and that's all there is to it. +But Mrs. Pallinder did say something to me about the old lady being +'queer'--eccentric, as she put it. That's like charity--it covers a +multitude of strange doings." + +"Yes, 'queer' accounts for a good deal," said Gwynne, his face +sobering. Doctor Vardaman looked at him with regretful tenderness. +He walked with us as far as the street, and patted Gwynne's shoulder +gently as we parted--an unusual display of feeling from the doctor, who +was anything but a demonstrative man. + + + + +CHAPTER FIVE + + +Doctor Vardaman's house was called, in the day when it was built, a +Swiss cottage. It was a story and a half high, with a steep-pitched +roof, garnished with a kind of scalloped wooden lambrequin pendant from +the eaves all around. There were casement-windows with arched tops, and +the whole edifice was painted a dark chocolate-brown in accordance, +no doubt, with the best Swiss models--at least we never questioned +the taste of it. It is possible that the charming and faithful Swiss +cottage of to-day may be as much of an offence to the landscape in +twenty-five years--so does the old order change, giving place to new. +Yet it will always be true that a house derives some curious character +from its tenant; the doctor redeemed his cottage; he was the soul of +that misbegotten body. It was shabby and down-at-heel, if you like, but +it was not bourgeois. There was a charm in his unkempt garden, in the +slouching ease of his worn old furniture and carpets, his multitudinous +loose-backed books, his dim family portraits in chipped gilt frames. +He met all hints at alteration or renewal with an indulgent ridicule. +"Fresh paint?" he said. "It would make the house look like a +servant-girl dressed for Sunday!" Or: "Better is a horse-hair sofa with +brass nails than a plush platform-rocker and veneering therewith!" When +the Pallinders moved in, trailing a procession rich as Sheba's past his +little iron gate, the doctor viewed it with an indecipherable smile. +It was in April, a day of light gusty winds, flashes of sunshine +and flashes of rain; and Doctor Vardaman, in his shirt-sleeves, was +trowelling amongst his young plants with what he frequently denounced +as a frantic and futile energy. "I don't know why I do it," he would +say soberly. "Nothing ever grows the better for it; very often nothing +grows at all. The Irishman, the negro, the very Chinaman whom for my +sins I am constrained to employ about the house, have achieved triumphs +in the way of lilies of the valley and young onions that leave me +gasping in defeat. They are ignorant, unwashed, dissolute pagans. +Ling Chee was a spectre soaked in opium; Erastus absconded with all +my clothes, my most cherished razors, and whatever money he could get +at--yet they had but to scratch the ground and lo, the desert blossomed +like the rose! You may see therein the constant allegory of Vice +ascendant and unrewarded Virtue." + +He leaned on his spade in an ironically rustic attitude to watch the +Pallinder household goods go by--goods, not gods, for everything, as +he observed, was of a transcendant and sparkling newness. Most of us +live in unacknowledged bondage to certain kind, familiar, sooty, and +begrimed, utterly useless hearthstone deities. We cling shamefaced +to our rickety old relics. The pair of vases that used to stand on +mother's mantelpiece--hideous things they are, too,--the little high +chair that was Johnny's--he died in '87, you remember--who has not seen +this pathetic lumber voyaging helplessly about from house to apartment, +from town to country and back again, hobnobbing peaceably on the rear +of the wagon with flower-stands and the gas-range, retiring at last to +the garret, but somehow never getting as far as the junk-shop? _Sunt +lacrimæ rerum_--as Doctor Vardaman would have said, being somewhat +given to Latin tags after the taste of an older generation. His own +house was crowded with these touching reminders; the Pallinders +went to the other extreme; either they sternly repressed the mushy +sentimentalism that would cherish outworn sticks and stoneware for the +sake of auld lang syne, or they never had had any to cherish. "They +brought nothing into the town with them, and it is certain they took +nothing away," said the doctor afterwards in an awful and irreverent +parody. An aroma of fresh packing-stuff and varnish hung about the +caravan; bright new mirrors swayed and glanced; and, since the fashions +of eighty-one were more or less flamboyant, you might see from afar +the roses, poppies, and what-not that bloomed upon the Pallinder rolls +of new carpet, the gilt and veneered scrolls, knobs, and channellings +of the Pallinder furniture, the Pallinder Tennessee-marble table-tops, +carefully boxed, yet--as one may say in a figure--hallooing aloud for +admiration of their size and costliness. There was one van filled with +hogsheads packed with china; it was whispered that many of the things +had been ordered from New York, but most of them were got in town at +prices that kept the shop-keepers smiling until their bills were sent +in--I am anticipating. The doctor espied the ladies in a carriage at +the end, and bowed with the rather exuberant courtesy taught in his +youth. + +Miss Pallinder returned the salutation; Mrs. Botlisch shouted a jovial +"Howdy, Doc.!" Mrs. Pallinder drew back impulsively in a momentary +embarrassment; she emerged almost instantly and recognised him, +triumphantly gracious. But the doctor resumed his digging, inscrutably +grinning at the next shovelful. The fact is, this casual passage +vividly recalled his first encounter with these ladies a few weeks +earlier, upon one of the occasions when they had driven out to inspect +the Gwynne house, before the bargain was closed. Doctor Vardaman, in a +sleeve-waistcoat, for the day was cold, was busily spading up his beds, +when a carriage drew in beside the iron palings. + +"I looked up," the old gentleman used thus to recount the incident, +"and saw an exceedingly homely old woman with her bonnet awry; a +moderately good-looking young one with hers as straight as Nature +intended it, and the rest of her clothes, so far as a man may judge, +directly calculated to inspire all other women with despairing envy; +and a very uncommonly handsome middle-aged one, whose clothes made +positively no difference at all, so much did her looks eclipse them. I +saw all these people craning out of their carriage, I say, and in the +distance a cavalier on horseback dashing along after them in a military +style. 'Say, you----' began the homely old one. 'My good man,' says the +middle-aged one, with an ineffable sweet patronage in her tone. 'Will +you take this card in to your master and tell him----' And at that +moment up comes the outrider. He took me in at a glance, jumped off +his horse, splashed through the mud, uncovered with a very gallant and +engaging deference to my years, and: 'Doctor Vardaman?' says he. 'I'm +sure this _is_ Doctor Vardaman, I'm happy to make your acquaintance. +We're going to be your neighbours, I hope, and by gad, sir, you set +us a good example! We find you like--ah--um--Quintilius among his +cabbages. Sir, my name is Pallinder; let me present----' the fellow's +manner was perfect; for the soul of me I couldn't help warming to him. +And if you think it's a poor sort of gratification to be known for a +gentleman, consider how very uncomplimentary it is to be taken for +a servant! 'Lord--_ee_, Bill!' screeched out the old woman. 'Mirandy +thought he was th' hired man! That's one on _you_, Mirandy! Called +him 'my good man,' she did! and went into a choking and gurgling fit +of laughter. Mrs. Pallinder's face turned purple. 'Madame,' says I, +anxious to relieve an unpleasant situation. 'I answer to the noun, but +I'm a little doubtful about the adjective!' We parted in the end with +great protestations on both sides; but Mrs. Pallinder was still red +as they drove off. Sir, she had made a mistake, and she never would +forgive _me_ for it!" + +This was the first appearance of the Pallinder family upon our stage. +They had figured brilliantly on a good many others already, as was +discovered some two years later, when occurred their exit; San +Francisco, Denver, Chicago, Louisville, to say nothing of a score of +minor cities knew them, birds of passage. I believe they came from +Memphis in the beginning, that is, if they can be said to have come +from anywhere, or been native to any place. They were emphatically +citizens of the world and called all skies home. I find, upon comparing +recollections with friends of those days that the measures by which the +Pallinders established themselves in our society are, in that phrase +dear to the sedate historian of far weightier matters, shrouded in +the mists of--of antiquity, the historian would say. Yet it is only +twenty-five years, and no one now remembers, or perhaps took note +at the time, exactly how these people who came from everywhere and +nowhere, whom nobody knew, got themselves in the space of six months, +known, liked, and invited far and wide. I fear that solid unornamental +worth such as--let us be frank--yours or mine, would not have +accomplished so much in as many years. Mrs. Pallinder must have done a +deal of social campaigning in those other centres of enlightenment and +culture which I have mentioned, to have become so apt and able; that +little slip with Doctor Vardaman was the only one I ever heard recorded +against her. She never referred to her life and acquaintance elsewhere, +nor traded upon her experiences to advance herself with us; yet she +never seemed to be pushing. She built, as it were, from the ground; +and I have heard very kind and intelligent persons who were not in the +least snobs, comment with astonishment on the headway she contrived +to make coming wholly unknown as she did, and handicapped by such a +mother. The spectacle of wealth allied to feminine beauty, talent, and +virtue, struggling for notice is one with which we are all tolerably +familiar. + +It is likely that prehistoric woman in the jungle--not prehistoric +man, for man seems always to have been a creature slothful in social +duties, dull, and democratic in his tastes--demurred at mingling with +the same set as the jungle-lady next door; would not allow the children +to play with the little cave-dwellers across the way; wanted to move +to the choice and exclusive neighbourhood of the Probably-Arboreals, +where she would have better opportunities for meeting those elect +gentry. Nowadays, her grand-daughter goes to church with a praiseworthy +devotion, she subscribes to all the charities, she sends her children +to the most fashionable schools--they are always the best--she takes +courses in French literature, in Current Events, in bridge-playing, +in cooking, yes, she would take them, decent woman as she is, in +bare-back riding and ballet dancing, in everything and anything under +the sun, that will bring her into contact with the charmed circle. +She endures unnumbered snubs, or what is worse, the soul-blighting +frigid politenesses of present-day Probably-Arboreals; she sheds tears +in secret, she nearly drives her husband to drink, or the poorhouse. +And she "gets there," she always gets there, and gleefully proceeds +to visit upon the next aspirant some of the treatment she herself +received. The strange thing is that you, who have been "there" all +your life, who cannot understand her frantic desires, who are disposed +to laugh or sneer at her, you will find her no hustling and elbowing +vulgarian as you imagined, but a very charming woman, as clever and +well bred as you or any of your native-born residents of the purple. +She only wanted to get "there"; already she has forgot that mean +struggle. As high-minded as you are, you too must at least a little +admire Success; and she has displayed as much courage and perseverance +on her shabby battlefield as it takes to conquer a citadel. + +All this is by way of calling attention to the really remarkable fact +that Mrs. Pallinder employed none of the tactics just recited; classes +in bridge and Current Events were unknown in her day, and she went to +church neither more nor less than other people. She succeeded, I make +bold to say, as no one ever has before or since. And this, in spite of +the rather unfavourable impression which she and her daughter had made +at the start. I, for one, did not much fancy Gwynne's description of +Miss Pallinder--her name was Mazie--ogling and making fun with a man +like Templeton; I thought her behaviour distinctly _common_. And that +business of taking Gwynne behind the house for a drink of whiskey--out +of the _bottle_, at that!--which does not shock me at all now, was +anathema in my eyes then. These opinions were shared by everybody +who heard the circumstances; what made us change our minds? That is +the mystery. I think now that the Pallinders won upon us by that very +frank gaiety and kindliness that had so touched and attracted Gwynne; +nothing else can account for their popularity. Of course at the end of +their stay everyone simultaneously discovered a number of disagreeable +things; the usual wiseacres went about uttering the usual wisdom of +"I-told-you-so." Colonel Pallinder had always been a man to distrust; +Mrs. Pallinder and her daughter undeniably painted and were too lively +in their manners; there was more poker and mint-julep going freely +behind the Parthenon portals than one ever saw in the best houses; +and Mrs. Botlisch was perfectly intolerable. To be just, however, no +one had ever pretended to think Mrs. Botlisch other than intolerable; +some people even went so far as to say that it was greatly to the +Pallinders' credit that they did not shake off that terrific social +drawback altogether. + +The colonel was a big man, with thick flowing grey hair under a +wide-brimmed soft hat; he wore his clothing with a slashing military +picturesqueness--d'Artagnan in a long-skirted black broadcloth coat; +and limped a little from a bullet in the thigh at Missionary Ridge. He +had a handsome office downtown, and was always enthusiastically busy +over the syndicate's affairs; maps of railroads, of iron, salt, coal +and "phosphate" territory in Arkansas and elsewhere adorned his walls; +circulars and prospectuses gushed forth from his place of business as +from a living fountain. Who went up and drank at that sempiternally +flowing spring--who, in plain language, invested with Colonel +Pallinder? Nobody knew; but it was easy to see that investment with +him paid; the Pallinders lived in the spacious ease of an unlimited +income. + +I suppose his profession was that of promoting--a pursuit which has +since been compactly described to me as selling you a cullender for +a wash-basin. Socially he took no hand beyond inviting young men to +the house, and within an incredibly short time he did not even have +occasion for that. They went, of their own motion, in droves, like +all the rest of the world. And I will say here, speaking for our +youth, that in spite of the cards and cigarettes and champagne, the +over-eating and over-drinking, the general lax gaiety of that meteoric +two years, I do not believe any of us were materially harmed. We +sincerely liked the Pallinders; we did not merely hanker for their +flesh-pots. And even now, after twenty-five years, and knowing all the +mean and dingy side of their career, I still cherish a fondness for +those hearty, happy, self-indulgent, irresponsible adventurers. + +The old Gwynne house now underwent a transformation the nature and +extent of which can best be realised when it is learned that poor old +Caroline Gwynne's room became Miss Mazie Pallinder's; the roses of +Mazie's wall-paper climbed all over that tragic apartment; lace-edged +muslins and flowered cretonne festooned the windows. What with a pillar +obscuring the east window, and a heavy growth of wistaria matted on a +frame in front of the south, you had to feel your way about at broad +noon; and were liable to be suddenly assaulted on the tenderest part +of the shins or ankles by some dastardly rocking-chair, lurking in +the gloom like a Thug, and inadvertently set in motion. Surprises +were pretty frequent in that room; it was not unusual to put your +foot down in a box of chocolate-cream drops or through the parchment +vitals of Mazie's banjo abandoned on the floor. And when you came +face to face with a pale glimmering phantom in a corner it might be +either your own figure reflected in one of the full-length mirrors +liberally distributed around the walls, or Miss Pallinder herself in +an embroidered French night-dress, her favourite afternoon wear. The +other decorations were mostly photographs of Mazie in an astounding +variety of costumes, and her numberless real or supposed conquests. +Young men in regimentals, army or navy; young men in fancy dress, +striking attitudes with a sword, or making a leg in silk tights; young +men with the painfully close-fitting trousers and upright brush of +hair fashionable in the eighties--it was a noble array, that gallery +of Mazie's, particularly when she began to enrich it with certain more +familiar likenesses. There you might see "J. B." Taylor--everybody +called him "J. B."--with the cap and gown he had worn at his last +Commencement; Teddy Johns laughing and showing all his teeth--Teddy +had fine teeth and knew it; Bob Carson, with something written on the +back of the photograph that Mazie made an affectation of not allowing +us to read--we had all seen it nevertheless, and used to wonder if +Bob were really in earnest; Gwynne Peters, whose fair hair did not +come out very well in the photograph, looking startlingly like his +grandfather's portrait, with the same long thick flourish of the pen +under his name as used to adorn the Governor's. "Yours truly, Gwynne +Peters," and the _s_ streeling off in a comet's-tail like the final _e_ +of old Samuel Gwynne's signature. All these young fellows frequented +the house; on summer nights they could be heard as they strode away +down Richmond Avenue, proclaiming at the tops of their several sets +of lungs to a smiling world that the moon shone bright on their old +Kentucky-y-y ho-ome, or lamenting in concert that Alas, they were no +swimmers, so they lost their Clementine! Doctor Vardaman heard them as +he sat smoking the pipe of peace in his porch. "God bless the boys!" +the old man used to say to himself with a sigh. Sometimes they stayed +over night, and came yawning downtown to their desks in the morning, +sheepishly evading the paternal scowl, victims of Colonel Pallinder's +strenuous hospitality. If Mazie had no scalps strung at her belt, she +at least displayed the spoils of the vanquished; gloves, bangles, and +bon-bons were hers in profuse supply; when she went away on a visit +she corresponded with all of them, and was reported to be engaged +three deep, to our horrified delight. It is a mistake to suppose that +girls envy one another these light successes; we all admired, and I +am afraid some of us tried to imitate Miss Pallinder. It was to be +noticed that she herself showed an entire impartiality; when no one +else was convenient, she did not hesitate to keep her hand in on Doctor +Vardaman, half in fun of course. The old gentleman made an open joke +of it. "This is the first time I have given away my picture in forty +years," he said; and wrote at the bottom of the card in his neat, +clear, physician's hand: _"Non sum qualis eram_----" + +"What does that mean, Doctor?" Mazie asked him suspiciously. + +"It is a plaint--the plaint of an elderly sentimentalist like me," +he answered gravely. "'I am not what once I was in thy day, oh dear +Cynara,' he remarks--in effect. Shall I write the English?" + +"No, don't. I think it's ever so much cuter this way. Who was Cynara?" + +"Well--ahem----" + +"Huh! Bet she wasn't any better than she'd ought to be!" grunted old +Mrs. Botlisch sceptically; whereat the doctor, after a momentary +struggle, laughed so immoderately that we all more than half suspected +she was right. + + + + +CHAPTER SIX + + +If Gwynne Peters had supposed at the outset that the new tenants +would remain long unacquainted with their set of erratic landlords, +the "quite a few gentlemen and some ladies" whom he had tactfully +refrained from mentioning, he would have been profoundly mistaken; but +in fact he supposed nothing of the sort. He knew his kin too well; and +perhaps shared tacitly Templeton's openly-expressed and most devout +hope that none of them would say or do anything to put the Pallinders +out of the notion of buying the property when the lease should expire. +"They'll want thirty-five or forty thousand, if not more, I'll bet a +doughnut," the agent would say in moments of gloomy confidence; "and +you know, Mr. Peters, the place ain't worth--at least it can't be sold +for--a dollar over twenty-eight, the way times are. I might screw the +colonel up to twenty-nine-fifty--he seems to be a free spender, and +the ladies like the house so much, he'd do anything they want. But, +like as not, just as I've done that and got everything good and going, +Mr. Steven Gwynne will come in with some objection and knock the whole +deal higher than Gilderoy's kite. And when I think of what it will be +to get 'em all combed down and willing to sign--and those children +of Lucien Gwynne's out in Iowa, you know, they've got to quiet the +title--and Mrs. Montgomery over in Chillicothe, she's another--well, +I suppose there's no use crossing that bridge till we've come to it, +but I tell you sometimes it keeps me awake nights worrying." The +family had fallen into the habit of leaving all the business connected +with THE GWYNNE ESTATE--it must be written thus to furnish some idea +of the proportions it assumed in their minds--to Gwynne's management. +He had just been elevated to the bar; from thence to the bench, and +to whatever corresponds to the woolsack in our judicial system was, +according to them, a short step for a Gwynne. The mantle of his +grandfather had fallen upon his shoulders; they were proud of him in +their extraordinary fashion, which combined hysterical and wholly +unmerited praise with equally hysterical and undeserved blame. For a +while even Gwynne, who had a tolerable sense of humour, took himself +with amazing seriousness. He sat in his office surrounded by that +copious library of the old gentleman's, now grown somewhat out of date, +to be sure, but still impressive by sheer weight and numbers; there +was a photographed copy of the Governor's portrait, inkstand and all, +over his desk, and a massive safe in one corner. It contained at this +time, as Gwynne long years afterward acknowledged to me, with laughter, +nothing but some of the old family silver, forks, trays, ladles, and +what-not blackened with age and neglect sacked up in flannel wherein +the moth made great havoc. "Sam's share, you know," said Gwynne, his +face clouding a little, when his laugh was out. "I had to take care of +it, of course." + +Into this august retreat came daily one or another of the young +fellow's connection with inquiries about that property which everyone +of them called in all honesty and simplicity "my house"; and, after +much futile advice, took their leave, commenting on the fact that he +strongly resembled his grandfather, and adjuring him to "remember that +he was a Gwynne." There were so many of them they gave the place a +false air of bustle and business, to which Gwynne used, half in fun, +to attribute his later success--"looked as if I was all balled up with +work, you know, 'rising young lawyer,' and all the rest of it." But, +indeed, I am afraid there were not many affairs of importance going +forward among the calf-bound volumes, and Gwynne defaced more than +one sheet of legal cap., with gross caricatures and idle verses. If +the family took an interest in the fortunes of the house before, it +was redoubled now. To have the place rented at all was a novelty; but +to have it rented to personages of such opulence and distinction as +the Pallinders satisfied the most exact standards; and the colonel's +somewhat vague allusions to his design of ultimately buying it filled +these sanguine souls with delight. Let me do them justice: they would +one and all have indignantly refused thousands from people whom they +deemed unworthy. Have we not seen them rejecting poor Silberberg's +offer with contumely? But Colonel Pallinder with his Virginia accent +and his large manner recalled a generation contemporary with Governor +Gwynne himself, and the traditions of an antique and formal gentility. +The Pallinders were the only people so far who had succeeded in +residing in, and dispensing the hospitalities of the old Gwynne +house without offence to its owners; I think the Gwynnes took a kind +of vicarious pride in the spectacle. One after another, the entire +family called upon them, appraised them, patronised them. They drank +the colonel's fine sherry: they covertly eyed Mrs. Pallinder's suave +beauty, and Mazie's bewildering toilettes; they were at first repelled +and then overpowered by the rich tasteful changes in the ancient rooms; +the peacock-blue plush and old-gold satin in the south parlour; the +crimson wall-paper embossed with gilt figures the size of a cabbage in +the dining-room; the grand piano in the north parlour and piano-lamp +glorious with onyx slabs and pendant glass icicles of prisms--the +Gwynnes saw all these things with an Indian stolidity in the presence +of their tenants, but they came away pleased to the core. They went +down to Gwynne's office--yes, even Mrs. Horace Gwynne went!--and both +figuratively and literally patted him on the back. They were actually +civil to Templeton! Old Steven Gwynne, who had been violently alarmed +at first, supposing that these improvements and furnishings must be +paid for by himself and the rest of the heirs, magically recovered +his tranquillity so soon as he heard that Colonel Pallinder was doing +it all out of his own pocket; he pronounced the wall-paper and new +graining to be in the best of taste, although hardly the equal in +appearance or cost of what Governor Gwynne would have provided. Such +was the Gwynne enthusiasm that I am convinced it must have contributed +largely to the success of the Pallinders with our society; for, after +all, as unstable as they themselves were, the Gwynne position with +us was of the most stable; our city had known them for fifty years. +A family whose men were rigorously confined to the professions--all +except Horace Gwynne, who was in the wholesale grocery business,--a +family which numbered among its members a governor of a State--even +if it also numbered one or more "queer" people--such a family held, +unquestioned, the highest social rank. And Mrs. Horace Gwynne--she was +a daughter of old Bishop Hunter, which may be supposed in a measure to +set off the grocery business--frankly considered herself arbiter not +only of her husband's family, but of society in general as well; and +never doubted that in the matter of assigning people to their caste +and station one blast upon _her_ bugle-horn was worth a thousand men. + +She performed her first visit in state and ceremony in her well-ordered +barouche--the Horace Gwynnes were fairly well-to-do, owing, people +said, to Mrs. Horace's implacable thrift--and eying the approaches +to the old house, as she drove up in a highly critical and examining +mood. Her sharp glance noted every change; the carefully-weeded sweep +and circle of the drive, the close-cut lawn and pruned shrubbery +pleased her like an incense to the Governor's memory. The place had not +looked so since his day. There was a length of red carpet down over +the flagged veranda and stone steps such as used to adorn the sacred +threshold thirty years before when she was a young bride just entered +into the family; this trivial thing moved her inexplicably as such +things do, and she descended at the door in a temper of less severity. +It augured well for the pair of ladies within, profanely peering +through their exceedingly high-priced lace curtains and wondering who +on earth the funny little old lady in the chignon and her best black +silk was. + +Mazie, as soon as her acquaintance became more extended and intimate, +entertained us with a picturesque and I have no doubt entirely accurate +account of this and other Gwynne visits. If they amused her she was by +far too sharp to let it be seen; not thus do people attain popularity. +Mazie knew when, and in what company, and of what sort of things to +make fun; no gift can be more valuable to the social aspirant. No, Miss +Pallinder, curled up on her flowered-cretonne sofa, nibbling caramels, +and telling us about the Gwynnes, might have posed for the model of the +ingénue, girlish, inexperienced, and youthfully gay. "We didn't know +there was such a large family of Gwynnes," she explained. "Are any of +you related to them? No? They're perfectly lovely people, aren't they? +They've all called on us, and you know I think that's so kind when we +came here such strangers; we were awfully lonesome for a while. If it +hadn't been for Doctor Vardaman, I don't know what we'd have done. +Isn't he the _dearest_ old gentleman? Mamma fairly fell in love with +him at first sight; we have him up to dinner all the time, now. You +know it's such a terrible job for him to get a good servant--I'm sure +I can't see why. I told him he could hire me any day. I suppose it's +because it's a little lonely, and his house must be so quiet. We don't +have any trouble, but then we have such a gang of them they keep each +other company. But you know we were so surprised after people began +to call on us to find out there were so many Gwynnes! Mr. Peters had +said something about them--I think he's _lovely_, don't you? but we +hadn't any idea there was such a big connection; the house belongs +to all of them--did you know that? At least they all call it their +house. Such a dear old lady came--well, maybe not so very old, but +dressed in rather an old-fashioned way--Mrs. Horace Gwynne, of course +you all know her. She was just _sweet_, and took _such_ an interest. +She told mamma the piano ought to be on the other side of the room, +because there was so much better light by that window, and that was +where it always was when Governor Gwynne lived here. And she wanted +to know if we had noticed that those big cut-glass chandeliers in the +centre of the ceilings downstairs were an exact copy, only smaller, +of the one in the State-House--that was being built at the same time +as this house, and the Governor had the copies made, he admired the +design so much. Isn't that _interesting_? And then mamma had one of +the servants bring some hot coffee and little cakes, the way we always +do, you know, and Mrs. Gwynne told us about some kind of cookies she +has made that are the best she ever ate, so mamma asked her for the +recipe right off--mamma can't cook a bit, and don't go in the kitchen +once a month, but she's ever so much interested just the same. And when +Mrs. Gwynne went away she said she'd had a _lovely_ time--wasn't it +nice of her? and was going to have all her family call on us--wasn't +that kind? And she sent us a card to her reception; and right the +very next afternoon Mrs. Lawrence called--she's another Gwynne, isn't +she?--and asked us to Marian's coming-out party, _so_ sweet. And, +oh, girls, two such dear funny little old mai--I mean elderly, and +they aren't married, you know--Miss Gwynne and Miss Mollie Gwynne +came--what are you all laughing at, what's the joke? Well, I think +you're real mean not to tell me! _I_ thought they were _nice_--well, +of course, maybe they did seem kind of queer, but--well, it _was_ a +little funny," said Mazie, yielding to the laughter with apparent +reluctance; "we took them all over the house, because we thought, you +know, they'd be pleased to see the way we'd fixed it up. And they +_did_ seem rather tickled; Miss Gwynne said she thought they had never +had any tenants in their house before that appreciated it as we did. +And when we got to the south parlour Miss Mollie wouldn't go in, and +Miss Gwynne took us in and said in an awful whisper that everybody in +the family had been laid out in that room, but she'd try to get Miss +Mollie in to look at the chandelier which was an exact copy of the one +in the State-House--and Mollie hadn't been in the house for so long, +maybe it would refresh her, and take her mind off the funerals, you +know. So Mollie came in," went on Mazie, who by this time was openly +laughing like everyone else, "and she took one look and covered her +eyes like this, and said 'Oh, Sister Eleanor, I can't--I can't,' and +Sister Eleanor said, 'Look up, Mollie, look up'--just as if it was +Heaven, you know--'don't you remember the chandelier?' And then Miss +Mollie said, 'Oh, yes, I remember--shall I ever forget--boo-hoo!--it +cost three hundred and twenty-five dollars--boo-hoo!--every one of 'em +cost three hundred and twenty-five dollars!' But, honestly, girls, +it's all very well to laugh, but it gives me the creeps to think of +that room since I've known; I can't go into it without seeing a coffin +spread out right where our centre-table is; and you know there's that +lovely bisque monkey climbing up a cord that mamma has hanging from +the chandelier--think of that dangling down over a--B-r-r! I didn't +know about so many Gwynnes dying here. There's enough left to keep +the family going anyway, I should think. Was Mr. Peters' brother one +of 'em that died in the house? Eh? What! _Mercy!_ isn't that _awful_? +Why, I thought somebody said Sam Peters was in Honduras or Alaska or +somewhere--is it the same one? _Isn't_ that awful! Isn't it safe to +have him---- Horrors! Oh, girls, I think that's awful! And Mr. Peters +is such a dear, isn't he? So _nice_! But don't you tell him I said +that--now please don't, girls, I'd be ready to fall down dead I'd be +so ashamed if he knew I said he was a dear. I'd never look him in the +face again," said the ingenuous Mazie, knowing perfectly well--who +better?--that Gwynne would be miraculously informed of this damaging +admission before the next twenty-four hours were over. + +The Pallinders were not quit of their landlords, for a few episodes +such as those Mazie described; but, as it happens, I never heard her +tell of Steven Gwynne's visit; and only learned the details afterwards +in a roundabout way from Doctor Vardaman and Gwynne, both of whom were +witnesses of that momentous event. Steven was about the age of Doctor +Vardaman and looked twenty years older; they had been boys together. +When Steven came in town--he lived in a weird little tumble-down +cottage with a ragged little farm to match it, several miles out in +the country--he always went to see the doctor, whom he called Jack, +and of whom he grew touchingly and somewhat embarrassingly fond +towards the last of his life. I remember him a tremulous old man with +wild grey hair and beard in clothing worse than shabby, and coarse +boots, walking with the aid of a ferocious-looking cane, a forlorn and +fantastic and rather alarming figure; yet he was really nothing to be +afraid of, although I suppose he was just not quite crazy. When you +came to know about him, poor old Steven filled one with pity and that +strange baseless remorse with which the view of weakness or suffering +sometimes afflicts us. The gifts are so unjustly portioned out; simple +flesh-and-blood rebels at the shame of it. These are whole, prosperous +and victorious; these maimed, mad, dull, helpless, or hopeless--and who +is to blame? It is none of our fault; none the less, the sight galls +us to the quick; and there are moments when the spectacle of a string +of navvies moiling soddenly in a ditch seems an outrage on humanity. +Something of this used to go through Doctor Vardaman's mind as he sat +in his library listening patiently and most humanely to his old-time +playfellow's endless rambling talk. Steven was a profuse talker; +he picked up crumbs of misinformation with a kind of squirrel-like +diligence; all his life he had been beginning something--law, medicine, +divinity, what had he not tried? He never learned anything; he +could hardly spell; he used to declaim heatedly against the tyranny +of schools, and had a great taste for phrases such as "Nature's +gentlemen." Even our tolerant society could not stand Steven Gwynne; +it was said that he was not stupid, and not much queerer, after all, +than some of the other Gwynnes, but--nobody could stand Steven Gwynne. +When he had nearly run through his patrimony, the Governor, who was +his cousin, took him in hand, regulated his affairs, and exiled him to +that little farm I have mentioned. Steven was upwards of thirty at this +time, but he obeyed the family great man peaceably enough; and there he +had lived ever since; indulging--theoretically only, by good luck--in +extraordinary beliefs about State Rights--during the Civil War--about +Science and Religion, about Property, about Marriage, about everything +and anything under the sun, harmless, distressing, and annoying. Young +Gwynne had inherited him along with the other responsibilities of the +GWYNNE ESTATE; and when, rumours of the new tenants having reached him, +the old gentleman appeared in the office, Gwynne must take him to call +upon them. "I would not wish to be lacking in etiquette," said Steven +elaborately. "And I'm told that Colonel Pallinder's family belong to +our circle. It is the duty of every one of the owners, and I trust +that it won't be forgotten that _I_ am one of the heirs to the Gwynne +estate," he added, eying the reluctant young man with some harshness, +for Steven was tenacious of his rights: "to--to hold out the right hand +of fellowship to--to the stranger within our gates." + +"You never did before," Gwynne objected. "We've had two or three +tenants that you've never even seen. I don't really think it makes the +least difference----" + +"I've never had this kind of tenants before," said Steven--which, +indeed, was an unanswerable argument. "Why, they've been there six +months! You don't understand about these social matters, Gwynne. It's +diplomacy. They're in Governor Gwynne's house, and it's natural they +should expect the Gwynne family to recognise them. Why, they might +take offence and leave! Besides, it's the part of kindness for us to +introduce them around, it--it gives 'em a place at once. People say: +'There's So-and-so, he's a friend of the Gwynnes.' That--that _settles_ +it, don't you see? Why, now, to give you an example: Jake Bennett was +at my house the other day, and I told him I'd pay him as soon as the +rent from my property came in. He says: 'That's all right, Mr. Gwynne, +I know I can trust you. A Gwynne's word's as good as his bond,' he +says. That just shows. 'A Gwynne's word's as good as his bond,' he +says. 'I know _you_, Mr. Gwynne; you're Governor Gwynne's cousin, and +that's good enough for me, or anybody----'" + +"Who's Jake Bennett?" asked Gwynne abruptly. + +"Why, he's a man I buy a load of manure from once in a while. He's a +little queer in the upper story, you know," said old Steven, tapping +his own forehead with a wise nod. "But the poor fellow's heart's in the +right place. 'A Gwynne's word's as good as his bond,' he says----" + +"You oughtn't to be owing that man, Cousin Steven," interrupted Gwynne. +He turned to his desk. "Here, this is the nineteenth, but I'll give +you yours now, and then you can pay him when you get home. Now, you +sign a receipt for this seven-fifty, and I'll tell Templeton I advanced +it, so he can hold it out of yours next month. Now you're getting your +December money in November, see? There won't be anything coming to you +from the house the first of December, understand? Seven dollars and +a half--sign here. And you pay that manure-fellow as soon as you get +home, will you?" + +Steven would, he said. He folded the money together and crammed it into +his tattered old pocket-book; he handled it a little eagerly, never +having had much to handle. "We'd better start out to see them, the +Pallinders, you know--right away, hadn't we?" he said, glancing at the +clock. + +Gwynne looked at him with a sinking heart. Of course he was not +ashamed of his kin. What! Ashamed of Cousin Steven! Gwynne would have +knocked down the man who hinted it. Nevertheless, it must be allowed +that Cousin Steven was more lax in matters relating to his personal +appearance even than became one of Nature's gentlemen. He did not +shave; he chewed tobacco; his boots manifested some acquaintance with +Jake Bennett's unpaid-for wares. We all know that these things really +do not count; a man's a man for a' that. It would be a shoddy soul that +would condemn him for not blacking his boots, or cavil at the fashion +of his coat. Still, we are conscious of a curious confusion within +us on the point; we muddle the clear stainless water of our theories +with the cloudy dye of our conventions; and to most of us, the quality +of gentleman seems somehow inextricably associated with clean linen. +Gwynne was no snob, but---- + +"Suppose we stop in to see Doctor Vardaman first and ask him to lend +you a collar and tie--you know that kind of high black stock he wears?" +he suggested weakly. "And then you--you might wash your hands, you +know, and, and--clean your nails. I should think your hands would be +cold this weather, Cousin Steven; don't you want to buy a pair of +gloves?" + +"Gloves?" said Steven contemptuously. "You're too delicate, Gwynne. +You've got all effeminated, living the way you do. Gloves! D'ye suppose +Adam, the great father of mankind, wore gloves? You want to get out and +live next to grand old Nature, and old Mother Earth. Those Pallinders +are kind of dressy people, hey? Well, I don't care how dressy they +are; they can wear all the gloves they damn please. I'll let you know, +sir, that a Gwynne in his undershirt would be enough too good for any +Pallinder that ever lived--yes, or anybody else either!" A mottled +flush appeared on his old face; he raised his voice; he made wild +hasty gestures, thumping with his cane. "You want me to spend money +on gloves--drivelling ostentation! Gold's the curse of this country, +and you want me to----" Gwynne was a little alarmed at these signs of +excitement. + +"All right, Cousin Steven, never mind," he said soothingly. "I--I just +wanted you to be comfortable, you know. You'd just as lief go and see +Doctor Vardaman, wouldn't you?" + +Steven was readily mollified--or perhaps, diverted would be the better +word. Jack? Yes, he wanted to see old Jack--he wanted to talk to him +about something. Jack Vardaman was a man of sound sense, if he could +be brought to the right views. "He's been cramped by--by his career, +and his profession," said the old man, gesticulating with one hand as +they walked. "I tried it, studying medicine, you know--but it's not +broad enough, Gwynne, not broad enough. Jack finds it hard to grasp +any new ideas. I said to him the last time I was in: 'John, this +money trouble we're labouring under all proceeds from--from--from the +circulating medium. Why have any? Why have any circulating medium? +Poverty is a lacking in the essentials of life because of waste on +the superfluities through the use of money--circulating medium; +you want to rid yourself of the--the--the economic compulsion to +wrong-doing--I've been studying a pamphlet by William P. Drinkwater +that goes to the heart of the financial situation in this country.' +I say, get rid of the circulating medium. Gwynne, do away with it +utterly, fall back on exchange of the--the products of labour, and an +era of prosperity will set in such as this country has never seen!" + +Gwynne reflected with a wry smile that it would be interesting to hear +an expression of opinion from Jake Bennett on the subject; times were +hard in eighty-one, as some of us remember, and in these disjointed +arguments, Gwynne recognised some echo of the political agitations +of the day. To be fair, Steven Gwynne was no more astray in speech +or manner than many of the William P. Drinkwaters; the exasperating +thing about him was that constant appearance of being able to control +himself, if he only would, which seems to be one of the specific +symptoms of unsoundness. + +"You will find that the lack--I mean the absence of a medium of +coinage," said Steven, as they climbed on the car--"By George! It +_is_ cold, isn't it?" he interrupted himself, "I guess I'll put my +mitts on." And, to Gwynne's surprise, he produced those symbols of +ostentation and effeminacy from the pocket of his overcoat, and began +to adjust them with every display of comfort. They were a bright +"Maria-Louise" purple. "Knit worsted, you know," said Steven. "I got +'em at Billy Sharpe's at the corners, for seventy-five cents----" + +"You're getting effeminated, Cousin Steven," said Gwynne, soberly. +"Mittens! The idea! Do you suppose Adam wore mittens?" + +"Well, I understand Adam didn't wear breeches either," said Steven, +with an unexpected flash of humour. "I'm not luxurious, anyhow, like +you with your kids. But you're young--you'll learn." He laid his hand +on Gwynne's arm affectionately. "You're a good boy, Gwynne, if you +do get kind of stuck-up notions, you're a good boy," he said with +earnestness--and the young man's heart smote him. + +He found his cousin so tractable on the journey out that he began to +have hopes of persuading Steven to the collar and wash-basin, with +Doctor Vardaman's help. "I'd rather Mrs. Pallinder saw him looking +clean, anyhow--she's so dainty herself," thought Gwynne, with a burning +change of colour. Alas! No such good luck! As they neared the Swiss +cottage, they beheld the lady tripping out from the door, exquisitely +trim and gracious, smiling and showing all her pretty white teeth, +with Doctor Vardaman escorting her to his gate, in his pleasantly +formal old way. Mrs. Pallinder dimpled, and flashed her clear grey +eyes under their amazingly black lashes and brows at Gwynne; she was +en-haloed in rich furs and soft scrolls of ostrich-plumes; she rustled +and fluttered with an enticing suggestion of dainty womanliness, and +there was something even in the frail absurdity of her little, thin, +high-heeled and pointed-toed boots that appealed to the masculine sense +almost touchingly. Old Steven Gwynne himself felt this jewelry-box +charm; he looked at her with open, child-like, rather frightened +admiration. Wealth and luxury for which in the abstract he had--or +believed himself in all sincerity to have--so vigorous a disdain, +exhibited thus concretely, stunned the old man; Mrs. Pallinder, to +the ordinary view merely an unusually handsome and well-dressed +woman, somehow represented to Steven that material power, confident, +lucky, successful, to which he had long ago bowed down in the person +of Governor Gwynne; and, if it had not been for the uplifting +consciousness of being that great man's cousin, Steven would have +shuffled and stammered before her like any school-boy. + +"Mr. Peters," said Mrs. Pallinder, delightedly. She withdrew a hand +from her coquettishly fashionable little muff--we wore them very small +in those days, a mere cuff of fur--and gave it to Gwynne, who was +oddly nervous, with soothing self-possession. The readiness with which +she set herself to the business of putting Steven at his ease was a +grateful thing to see; she accepted his purple mitt, and shed on him +a smile as winning as if he had been the most desirable acquaintance +in the world. These courtesies, we have been assured, are, in reality, +nothing but small evidences of a kind heart; yet I never thought +Mrs. Pallinder a kind-hearted woman. Her elegant cordialities were +not spontaneous; she spread the conversation with a thin glittering +varnish of smiles, agreeable speeches, pretty conventionalities; +one sometimes felt uneasily that her tact was almost aggressively +brilliant, her good manners too flawless. But Gwynne, having in mind, +maybe, this very incident, was quite enthusiastic about her to his +intimates; Mrs. Pallinder was so kind, so considerate, a--a--a really +sweet woman--sweet-tempered, he meant, of course, wasn't she? As for +Steven, he proclaimed her without exception the most polished lady he +had ever met. Doctor Vardaman--but one could not always be sure of +what Doctor Vardaman thought. "Mrs. Pallinder was an uncommon sort of +woman," he used to say with an unreadable expression. "I admired her +very much--almost as much as I wondered at her. When we met at my gate +she contrived to look at us three men, as if every one severally were +_the_ man in the world in whom she was most interested. Are ladies +taught these things from their cradles? I am told so; but I never saw +one of them do it so well as Mrs. Pallinder. It's a tolerably stiff +job to listen to poor Steven discourse on the circulating medium. +_Experto credite!_ I've done it myself for hours at a stretch that I +piously hope will count for me when I get to the Place of Punishment. +But I'm sure I never could have done it with so perfect a grace as +Mrs. Pallinder. We went up to the house, she walking the whole way +with Steven, Gwynne and I following in the rear, humbly grateful and +admiring. 'You're not a married man, Mr. Gwynne?' says Mrs. Pallinder, +snatching at a change of topic in one of the pauses of Steven's +eloquence. 'I've met so many charming Mrs. Gwynnes----' 'Madame, I am +not,' said Steven. 'Do you know why the eagle is called the bird of +freedom, Mrs. Pallinder?' Here," said the doctor, with a malicious +grin, "I thought I detected a sort of crooked sequence in Steven's +thoughts, but Mrs. Pallinder was as nearly gravelled as I ever saw +her; and you must admit the subject was somewhat abruptly introduced. +'A--er--why, I must give it up, I am afraid,' she said. 'It's a riddle, +isn't it? I'm not very good at riddles.' 'Because it never mates in +captivity, ma'am,' says Steven profoundly. 'That's the way I am; the +chains of _gold_, the circulating----' and I suppose he was going to +intimate by a delicate allegory that he couldn't afford a wife and +family, but we reached the house at that moment, and the changes in its +appearance switched him off, as it were." + +The old man was, in fact, rather pathetically overawed by all the +Pallinder sumptuousness; he looked down at his boots doubtfully, and +trod with caution on the velvet moss-roses and lilies of the south +parlour. It required the telling of the cut-glass chandelier story +to revive his spirit; and Mrs. Pallinder further smoothed matters by +asking his opinion of the new wall-paper with a caressing deference. +Afterwards, it is true, Steven went away in a mood of gracious +approval, and bragged freely with no little satisfaction about his +tenants in his house; but at the first moment, he was both startled +and unhappy. There were gilt mirrors all about that gave back a +pitiless reflection of the party, and of them all, I believe that +Doctor Vardaman was the only one who was not faintly ill at ease. The +situation was actually relieved by the entrance of old Mrs. Botlisch, +as incongruous a figure in the scene as Steven himself. "And somehow or +other," said the doctor, "I am sure the look of her for once was a kind +of comfort to Gwynne; it seemed as if she and poor Steven were a--well, +a stand-off, with the balance in favour of Steven. You know Mrs. +Pallinder was always saying in a gentle regretful way that her mother +was 'eccentric.' She was, in fact--ahem!--I am informed by the ladies +of my acquaintance," Doctor Vardaman would say, with another grin, +"that she was a dreadfully 'common' old person who drank and swore +like a trooper, but was as sane as anybody. Whereas, we all know that +whatever Steven's faults, he was not--was not entirely responsible." + +"That old Gwynne feller's crazy, ain't he?" the old woman said to him +as the doctor sat at the Pallinder dinner-table that evening. There +were a number of other guests, for the colonel's hospitalities were +already well known; it was a pleasing picture of evening-coats, white +shoulders, brilliant glassware, and cutlery; and Mrs. Pallinder at +the head, lent the table a distinction like that of some expensive +ornament or flower. Across the way sat her mother, shovelling in +French peas on the blade of her knife, that being one of the phases +of her eccentricity, and disposing of everything from soup to sweets +with an audible gusto. "It's astonishing!" said the doctor to himself, +his glance travelling from one woman to the other. "Pardon me, Mrs. +Botlisch, you were saying----?" + +"I say that old Gwynne feller's crazy," said Mrs. Botlisch. "He ain't +dangerous, is he?" + +"What? Steven?" said the doctor, and although she was very nearly +right, he recoiled inwardly. "Why, no, he's not crazy, he's a little--a +little eccentric," he finished, conscious of a wretched irony in the +phrase. + +"Pooh, pshaw, don't you tell _me_, Doc., he's as crazy as a bedbug," +said Mrs. Botlisch coolly. "It's a pity about that young Peters' folks +being that way, so many of 'em, ain't it?" + + + + +CHAPTER SEVEN + + +It will be seen that, by the close of their period, Doctor Vardaman +had grown to be pretty familiar in the Pallinder household. Mazie +professed a prodigious admiration for him. "He does say the cutest +things!" she remarked enthusiastically. But Mazie's attitude toward +the other sex was never anything but that of complete appreciation. +I have seen her turn her eyes on the coloured butler when commanding +a fresh relay of waffles with an expression to draw from him rubies, +let alone waffles! Her liking for the doctor was perhaps as sincere a +sentiment as she could harbour; who could forbear a fondness for that +genial, tolerant, grey-headed satirist? In him were to be found all +the strangely dissonant yet most manly qualities of his generation. +In the early eighties there was still extant a tribe of hearty old +gentlemen who wore black silk stocks, swore freely, and knew Henry +Clay. You may see their strong humorous faces, shirt-frills, and waving +forelocks upon scores of cracked canvases in how many Middle-Western +homes! Grandfather rode circuit with Swayne and Tom Ewing; he sat +in Congress with that Southern statesman of whom it was said that +when he took snuff all South Carolina sneezed. Perhaps he remembered +Chapultepec and the heights of Monterey; it is likely that he surveyed +the first turnpike, designed the first Courthouse, performed the first +mastoid operation in the State, in the country. In all things I think +he played a man's part, and maybe something more, without any heroics; +I knew many of him, and it cannot be denied that he would sometimes +get a sheet in the wind's eye, and tell robustly indecorous stories +after the second glass of whisky-punch sitting around the hearth of +a winter's evening. There was that one about the English visitor at +Niagara, who, being conducted around the place by the guide, out to the +little tower on Table Rock, and down on the _Maid of the Mist_ like +everyone else, wrote his name in the guests' book, and a conundrum: "Why +am I like Desdemona? Because----" But, at this point, by an ingenious +manoeuvre, someone invariably called me from the room! And, strange +to say, I was not suffered to return; Desdemona was in the nature of +a prelude, I suspect. We have changed all that; who so plain-spoken +as the lady-novelist of to-day, whom everybody reads, and, what is +more, discusses? Who so wise as our young people? Nobody would be +at the pains to banish them from the room. They would not laugh at +or with grandpa; they would only wonder a little and pity him. They +are all gone, all these humane old lads with their whisky-punches, +their dreadful old fly-blown anecdotes, their extraordinary, innocent +coarseness of mind. The type has vanished from among us, extinct like +the dinosaur, dead as Desdemona! It is hard to figure them pacing +beneath the cloudy porticos of that rather shoddy gilt Heaven in which +they stoutly believed; but do they then wander the empty house of Dis, +the idle, idle land? That were a doom at once unkind and unjust; rather +let me fancy them beside the cheerful hearth in some comfortable limbo +of good companionship and honest material pleasures; and if that too be +a heresy and interdict, may the sod rest light where they sleep! + +Doctor Vardaman differed signally from his contemporaries in being not +at all disposed to punch and pruriency. He would have reddened like +a winter apple at Desdemona; and I am bound to say that here Colonel +Pallinder met him on equal ground. It would be worth a moralist's while +to inspect that stout piece of goods which is men's modesty beside +the curiously flimsy fabric we call the modesty of women. "It's funny +about men," Kitty Oldham confided to me once. "They can be as bad as +they want to, and so, when they're good they seem an awful lot better +than we are!" That may be the root of the matter; Kitty was undeniably +astute and observant in various small and eminently feminine ways. +"Nobody's all good anyhow," was another of her sayings, "nor all bad +either. I know by myself!" Colonel Pallinder was an example, too, had +we been aware of it. I have heard since from many indignant sufferers +that he was a swindling adventurer; yet Bayard himself could not have +walked more circumspectly in certain paths. He believed with all his +heart that his wife and daughter were beautiful and gifted above the +ordinary lot of mortals; I think they never had a wish ungratified. +That hand of his which they tell me was so ruthlessly busy about other +peoples' pockets, was forever emptying his own for the satisfaction of +his womenkind; the trait does not make any the better man of him, but I +am sure there have been worse. His behaviour toward Mrs. Botlisch was +a lesson in forbearance and good manners. He did more than endure her; +he showed her precisely the same chivalric deference as the rest of us. +Perhaps he was a little florid in the Southern style, and as became a +military man, but I think he was never ridiculous. It happened one day +that an ill-advised or maybe merely ill-bred young man having blurted +out some joke, high-flavoured, derogatory to Mrs. Botlisch, over one of +those famous juleps in the Pallinder dining-room, the colonel rose up +and with a severe countenance, laid his hand upon the joker's arm and +jerked him upright without much ceremony. "Don't mind him, Colonel," +interposed an onlooker. "He--he's not used to ladies' society, you +know." "Sir," said the colonel sedately, "I should have said he was not +used to the society of gentlemen!" and with that bundled the offender +out of the room and the house. Nor did the action make him enemies; the +rest of the male company expressed an unqualified approval. + +"I was a little afraid that he might want to resort to the 'code' as +practised in Virginia or Mississippi, or wherever he hails from," +said Doctor Vardaman, commenting on this occurrence, "and call upon +my services as surgeon; but he was too shrewd, or in his way, too +large-minded for that. On the whole Pallinder was the most attractive +as well as the most diverting humbug I ever knew or can imagine. I +liked him against my will. He was generous to the last penny--with +money that was shadily come by, to be sure, but what would you have? He +might have been as tight as the bark on a tree. He was a brave man and +had borne himself gallantly on the field, and I am sure uncomplainingly +in defeat. There was no sham about that limp of his at any rate. But he +never spoke of these things, nor ever flourished the Lost Cause in your +face, that I know of. Maybe it was all part of his policy, but I like +better to think that he had the qualities of his defects." + +It is to be supposed that Colonel Pallinder returned the doctor's +regard. The old gentleman was their nearest, in fact almost their +only neighbour, and the colonel used to dilate in comic vein upon the +advantages of having a physician next door, and keeping on good terms +with him. "'Hang it all, Miranda,' I said to my wife the other day, +'what do you want to call in young Sawbones--Pellets--whatever his name +is, the doctor-lad you had here last week for, when you can have twice +his experience and ten times the gumption he ever had or will have, +by merely going as far as your own front gate? Pellets is a homoeop., +anyhow. I don't like homoeops. Give me the old school; they knock you +on the head with their whacking doses and kill you or cure you, put you +out of your misery any way, while the others are still measuring out +their infernal four dips of this and two swallows of that. When Mazie +there was three years old she ate a whole bottle of sugared pills while +the nurse wasn't looking. If it had been Doctor Vardaman's medicine, +we'd have had to send for him and the undertaker and let 'em fight +it out, and I'd back the doctor every time. As it was--never feazed +her! Day before yesterday, my coachman came to me: 'Don' know what's +the matter with me, boss. Feel mighty bad.' I asked him if he'd been +to the doctor. 'Yes, sah, he give me this. I'se got to take fo' dips +every hour.' 'Look here, James,' says I. 'I want you to notice just +one thing. You're a big man, and that's an almighty small bottle. Do +you think four dips of that is going to cure six-foot-two of nigger? +It don't stand to reason. When I'm sick,' says I, 'I go to Doctor +Vardaman. I want a _doctor_ to take care of _me_. Quit practice? Oh, +pshaw, pooh! Any doctor will always pull an ass out of a ditch on the +Sabbath day--what's that they say about the letter of the law killing +the spirit? Now you better go to him, too,' says I, 'if you know what's +good for you. You hear _me_?' 'Lordy, Mistah Pallindah, you wouldn't +tu'n me off for not gwine to yo' doctah?' 'No, James,' says I. 'I'd +turn you off for not having any sense!' I believe he did go to you, +doctor, and I'm much obliged. Of course you'll send the bill to me. I'm +not like some people that think anything's good enough for a nigger--I +want the poor devils that work for me to have the best that's going. +When a man's brought up on a Virginia plantation with three or four +hundred of 'em around, and knows he owns 'em all, and is responsible +in a way to his Maker for every one of those black souls--why, sir, +you can't get over the feeling all at once. Here, you, George, Sam, +one of you bring another bottle of that twelve-year-old Bourbon and +a syphon of soda. I won't have any whisky in the house, sir, under +seven years old, and preferably ten--preferably ten or twelve. It +comes a few dollars higher a bottle, but when you're getting a thing, +you might as well get it good, and if whisky's not properly aged it's +raw stuff, firewater, worst thing in the world for the stomach. My +wife sometimes accuses me of extravagance in the table, but I always +say: 'Well, Miranda, we've got to _live_, haven't we?' As long as +Phosphate preferred keeps soaring skywards, and dividends keep rolling +in without my having to do a lick of work to get 'em, _I_ don't see +that we're living too high. We keep within bounds, I guess. Within +bounds. I don't intend to spend all my income just because my principal +is invested in something as solid as a rock. By George, sir, I always +save up a little wad every year--I can do it without straining myself, +and manage to scratch along in tolerable comfort besides--so as to +buy whatever Phosphate I can lay hands on, but it's getting scarce, +mighty scarce. It's been pretty well gobbled up by the big fellows with +money that always get hold of all the good things; only I'm what you +might call on the inside, you know, and that gives me a chance to help +myself or let in a friend once in a while. But it's no use showing +the figures to Madame there, she can't make head or tail of 'em, +women never can; she says they give her the headache. Now last week, +I let out inadvertently--for I try never to bring my little business +anxieties home--that I stood to lose fifteen thousand if Ozark Field +went off another point. Gad, sir, she laid awake all night--thought we +were going to the poorhouse right off! Couldn't help laughing, though +I did feel sorry for her, too. Nothing I could say would reassure +her--women are funny. Well, I wasn't just longing to lose my fifteen +thousand either, a man don't like to be inconvenienced that way, even +temporarily. Fifteen thousand means something to me, though it wouldn't +be much to the people I'm thrown with all the time. I tell you, sir, +those big capitalists, their money kind of scares you, and yet it +gives you a mighty secure feeling to know that they're behind these +enterprises. All their millions are made up of thousands after all, and +they're not going to put a single thousand where they can't keep an eye +on it, and see it breed. Fortunately Ozark Field went up to a hundred +and seventeen instead of declining--I had confidence in it from the +first. I bought at eighty, you know, so I'm pretty easy in my mind just +now. If anybody were to ask me, though, I'd advise 'em to buy right +now, for it won't ever take another drop, and I expect it'll be out of +sight by the first of the year. Sam, chopped ice to Doctor Vardaman, +and give Mr. Lewis a fresh glass." + +Archie Lewis sat looking into his tumbler with a rather queer +expression as the waiter put it down before him after sundry dexterous +operations with lemon-peel and bitters. Perhaps he was thinking that, +for a man who made a point of never bringing his business-affairs +home, it was truly remarkable how inevitably Colonel Pallinder worked +around to them in the course of a conversation, no matter what the +subject with which it started. Phosphate preferred, Lone Star common, +Ozark Field--I could not begin to enumerate the "enterprises" in which +the colonel and his capitalist friends were interested. The jargon of +the market-place will always be jargon to me; I dare say I have not +even quoted it aright. To this day I have never been able to find out +what Phosphate was; it may have been mined, assayed, and smelted; or +strained out of a river, or compounded with retorts and crucibles for +all of me. But, although nobody knew anything about it, it was, as I +have said, easy to see that Phosphate, in Templeton's formula, was a +paying proposition. Look at the Pallinders; people couldn't live that +way for nothing; this we said to one another, thinking it clinched the +argument, and not knowing that people live "in magnificent state," +for nothing. Who is so care-free, so luxurious in his habits, so +open-handed and open-hearted as the man who never pays his debts? I +know of no one more to be envied. One of the things the Pallinders did +was to wall in with glass the large porch of the dining-room, install a +heating-apparatus, and make a conservatory of it; this, too, although +they had leased the Gwynne house for three years only, and Mrs. +Pallinder was constantly complaining of their cramped and inconvenient +quarters. "Of course," she said languidly, "one can't expect much of +a house at such a low rent, but the colonel and I have _always_ had +separate dressing-rooms. I thought I could make one do, for a while; +but we're too crowded for any peace or comfort. The colonel wants to +buy this house and add to it--but the end of it will be we'll have to +build. The colonel keeps telling me to go to an architect or send for +one--I shouldn't trust to anyone in this little town, you know. We'd +have to select the building-lot, and get some man from Boston or New +York to come out and look at it, and make the designs accordingly. But +I'm so awfully lazy I can't make up my mind to all that bother and +worry." + +Such a low rent! Kitty and I exchanged a glance in spite of our +manners. Archie Lewis had told us that Templeton, whom he saw every +day in his father's office, had told _him_ he had made the lease at +a hundred and seventy-five a month; we did not think that a very +low rent, we who lived contentedly enough in houses at one-fifth +that amount, like by far the greater number of our friends. But the +Pallinders plainly did not measure by our standards. Mazie had a fresh +dress for every party; she wore almost as much jewelry as her mother, +and when Mrs. Pallinder came out in all her diamonds, she was the most +resplendent spectacle our society ever witnessed. Will anyone ever +forget her appearance as _Astarte_ at the Charity Ball? She twinkled +all over with jewelled stars, serpents, rings, ear-drops, gew-gaws any +_Astarte_ might have been proud to own--"goddess excellently _bright_!" +as Doctor Vardaman said. The ball took place during the Christmas +holidays--the Pallinders' second Christmas with us--just before Mazie +went to Washington, and, to quote the _State Journal_, "it was an event +long to be remembered in the social annals of our city." Odd-Fellows' +Hall was "a fairy-like dream of beauty," the same masterpiece of +descriptive rhetoric reported. Mazie deferred her visit so as not to +miss it, and went as _Folly_ in a white dress with spangles--glittering +fringes of white beads half a yard deep. Kitty Oldham appeared as +_Diana Vernon_--"I can wear the big hat with feathers afterwards, +you know," she thriftily remarked; she looked exceedingly trig in +a scarlet waistcoat with her little chin cocked up on a white lawn +stock. There was the usual supply of Watteau shepherdesses--I was +one of them--toreadors, Continental soldiers in buff-and-blue, +Queens-of-Hearts, Pierrots, and so on. Mrs. Pallinder's diaphanous and +low-cut magnificence, heavily hung with jewelry, outshone everybody, +and was a target for considerable unkind comment. A woman of her age! +It was startling, to say the least. She could have gone as Queen +Elizabeth or Lady Macbeth, but this was almost too theatrical; of +course, she was a beautiful woman, and looked scarcely older than her +own daughter, still----! "The reporters will describe every square +inch of Mrs. Pallinder's costume," some young fellow said to Kitty +Oldham. "They won't have to say much," retorted Kitty, with an oblique +glance--a remark which, backed by her mother's well-known acidity of +tongue, made Kitty's, reputation as a wit in our circle. The one person +whom it did not seem to amuse was Gwynne Peters; and he listened with +a singularly grum and discomposed face, and afterwards stalked off +without a word, although he was in general, genial enough. Something +must have gone at cross-purposes with Gwynne that night; he wore a +Charles Stuart dress, and stood about in gloomy attitudes, with his +sword, black velvet, and lace collar, looking the part to perfection; +and he went away quite early after showing no attention to anyone +except Mrs. Pallinder herself. But, indeed, the young men were about +her constantly, and _Astarte's_ popularity was not greatly increased +thereby. + +I remember driving home with Mazie to luncheon a day or so later, and +coming unexpectedly upon a decent-looking young man sitting timidly +amongst the gilt legs and peacock-blue upholstery of Mrs. Pallinder's +parlour, waiting to "interview" that lady. He represented the _State +Journal_, he said; and wanted to know if it was true that Mrs. +Pallinder had worn her five-thousand-dollar diamond necklace at the +ball, and if she would allow the _Journal_ to publish a photograph of +her in the costume. + +"La me, _I_ don't know; you'll have to ask her yourself," said Mazie +in her gay drawl. And presently Mrs. Pallinder came in, very tall, +sweeping and elegant in a long red broadcloth coat with black fur +and braid, and "dolman" sleeves; and a black and red _capote_, as we +called them. Laugh if you will; that was the way we dressed the winter +of eighty-three--when we could afford it! The photograph appeared +duly; and a picture of the necklace, too, with several more strands +and pendants than belonged to it, so that we concluded the artist had +drawn on his imagination or some representation of the crown-jewels of +England, in order to be more effective. + +"Pooh, that necklace never cost five thousand dollars, I don't believe +it," Kitty said afterwards. She was a sharp little creature, as I have +hinted; and her critical view of our Southern friends may have been +shared by others, to judge by a remark young Lewis made to Doctor +Vardaman, as they approached the latter's gate on their way from the +Pallinders'. "You've got to take a long breath and get a good hold of +something when the colonel's around," said Archie, knocking the ash +from his cigar on the wrought-iron scroll along the top of the fence. +He eyed the doctor enigmatically. + +"I don't understand?" + +"If you don't you might be blown away." + + + + +CHAPTER EIGHT + + +It seemed written, foreordained, Gwynne Peters used to say, half in +amusement, half in distaste, that his grandfather's house should +forever be either completely retired from notice, or else figure +gaudily in the limelight of a publicity that would have caused its +dignified founder untold wrath and mortification. "All that newspaper +gabble about the Pallinders and the diamond necklace is to blame for +this!" said Gwynne, when he read in the _State Journal_ a week after +the Charity Ball, a circumstantial account under flaming headlines of +how "the mansion of the late Governor Gwynne, the historic landmark +in the suburbs of our city, on Richmond Avenue, not far from the +junction of the Lexington and Amherst car-lines, now occupied by +the well-known society leaders, Colonel and Mrs. William Pallinder, +was the objective-point of a burglarious attack last night about 12 +P. M." It appeared that the burglarious attack had failed! +the diamonds were still safe--as, indeed, the thief whom "our vigilant +and efficient Chief of Police, Captain O'Brien, in spite of every +effort, had not yet been able to locate." Friends of the family would +be relieved to hear that Mrs. Pallinder's venerable mother, Mrs. Jacob +Botlisch, had experienced no ill effects from this exciting midnight +episode; Mrs. Pallinder herself, on the contrary, was quite prostrated, +and could not see one of the innumerable reporters who besieged the +house. "It's a perfect persecution," Gwynne announced with unwonted +heat, having called the next day to inquire, and been ushered into +a parlourful of these gentry. "Here were all those fellows roosting +about like vultures--and the greatest racket and confusion! Just as if +poor Mrs. Pallinder hadn't been lying upstairs sick with the fright +and worry. She--she's a very delicate, sensitive woman, you know," +said the young man, with the easy flush that showed so over his thin, +fair-skinned face. He left his card, and not long after the florist's +boy came to the back door, having received express instructions not +to ring the bell and annoy Mrs. Pallinder, with one of those large +pasteboard boxes, wherein for all their prosaic look, so much romance +is carted about the world. Truly a red-faced lad with a cold in the +nose, and patches of alien materials applied to prominent parts of +his trousers, is an odd figure to be employed upon these sentimental +errands--yet such are all florists' boys. A reporter pounced on this +one as he strolled jauntily around the house, whistling in a high and +cheery fashion under his burden. "What you got there, Johnny?" said +this inquiring gentleman. "Vi'lets." "Who for?" "S'Pallinder." "Well, +who from then?" "Dunno. They're five dollars a hundred." The maid took +them in, and doubtless Mrs. Pallinder's delicate and sensitive nature +was greatly soothed by the tribute. + +The colonel showed himself most genial and accessible. Interviews a +column in length and photographs of everything and everybody concerned +graced the front pages of the _Journal_, the _Record_, the _Evening +Despatch_. A complete history of the old Gwynne house up to date was +"featured." The reporters even approached Gwynne for a "few words." +Templeton saw himself in print to his huge gratification: "Mr. Virgil +H. Templeton, who has controlled the destinies of the Gwynne property +for many years, was seen at his office No. 16a Wayne Street, and +says----" Templeton bought an armful of copies of the paper and sent +them about with blue pencillings around the paragraph. "_His_ office! +Well, I like that!" said Judge Lewis, in mock indignation. + +"Thank you, I thank you for your kind inquiries, gentlemen," said +Colonel Pallinder, as he received the newspaper cohorts. "Mrs. +Pallinder is resting easily, and will be recovered in a few days, I +think, from the nervous shock. It was what I may call a nerve-racking +adventure for a woman. My daughter, I am thankful to say, is in +Washington, visiting some relations of ours, the Lees and Randolphs. +I have telegraphed her not to worry when she sees the papers. She +left last night on the nine o'clock train; as it happened, two of our +young friends, Mr. J. B. Taylor and Mr. Johns, had driven down to the +depot with her to see her off, after dining here, and came back in +the carriage at my request to spend the night. We had all retired, +when about midnight my wife, who is a sufferer from severe neuralgic +headaches, got up, feeling one coming on, and went into our daughter's +room, in search of some bromide which generally gives her relief. She +did not light the gas, and was groping for the bottle in the dark when +she felt a strong draught of cold air from an open window. She says her +only thought was: 'How careless of Mazie to leave that window open! +Now my head will be worse than ever!' and was going toward the window +to close it, when, with a scuffle, up jumps this scoundrel directly in +front of her! She says it was as if the floor had opened and belched +him up at her feet. She screamed--I trust, gentlemen, I shall never +hear such another cry of terror as my wife gave!" said the colonel +fervently. "I sprang out of bed, and rushed to the spot just in time +to see the fellow scrambling through the window. Most unfortunately, +I had no weapon, or I think I may safely say that would have been the +last time he ever went hunting for diamond necklaces. The window is on +the south side of the house; as you observe there is a vine growing on +a frame directly in front of it all the way up to the roof, by which +he climbed up and down. We found his tracks all around in the damp +ground at the bottom, but lost them in the turf at a short distance +from the house. Nothing but the very strong sentiment I have for the +owners of the place, which, I need hardly remind you, belongs to one +of the finest old families in the State, and especially for my dear +young friend Mr. Peters, whose boyhood days were passed here--nothing +but that feeling prevents me from having the vine uprooted and the +trellis torn away. The family, as is natural, are very much attached +to everything about their old home. Well, as I was saying, in as short +time as we could manage, the young men and I got our clothes on, called +the cook and housemaid to look after my wife and her mother, and young +Taylor and I set out to explore the grounds, leaving Mr. Johns here +to protect the house. We searched high and low without success, and +down by the gate fell in with Doctor Vardaman and his man Huddesley +just starting out on a tour of exploration on their own hook. It seems +that the doctor's man had waked some little while before, thinking +he heard a noise in their hen-house; and as you know we are a little +uncomfortably near Bucktown[4] here--my own servants are coloured, +for that matter--Huddesley thought he'd better investigate. He told +us he got up and looked out of the window, and distinctly saw a man +walking rapidly away from the rear part of the doctor's lot where it +joins the Gwynne property, in the direction of this house--or, at any +rate, making for the park entrance, with something under his arm which +Huddesley is positive was a chicken, but which was much more likely, +I think, to have been a kit or bundle of burglars' tools. Well, then, +gentlemen," Colonel Pallinder continued, pulling at his goatee with a +sly smile, "Huddesley got himself partly dressed, and started out very +courageously with the kitchen poker; but, getting as far as the gate, +the park looking pretty gloomy and forbidding, and the night rather +dark, he concluded discretion was the better part of valour, and turned +back and aroused the doctor. We joined forces and fairly raked the +premises, but to no purpose--the rascal had made too good use of his +time, and we, of course, had had some unavoidable delays. I wrote a +note to the Chief of Police, and sent my coachman down with it, and we +all went to bed again. As you see, it's a very simple story, and hardly +deserves your trouble. My own theory is that the thief, probably some +well-known criminal whom they will have no trouble in catching, passing +through town, or perhaps, making a casual stay here--that sort of +gentry never have any home--read about Mrs. Pallinder's jewels in the +papers, and thought he might make a good haul. + +"Now I consider that you gentlemen are partly to blame for that, and +I bear no malice, only I wish you'd be a little more particular. Now +if you'll just correct one report: Mrs. Pallinder's necklace did _not_ +cost five thousand dollars. It cost--ah--well, gentlemen, it was a +present to my wife on our last wedding anniversary, and to let the +cat out of the bag, it was bought with the surplus of a little flyer +in Phosphate I took--now I beg you won't say anything about that in +the papers--you might say, with entire truth, that it did _not_ cost +five thousand dollars. The necklace and earrings together came to more +than that, and I believe I bought her some other trinket at the time, a +brooch or something--but the whole business was not more than eight or +nine thousand, and no one item was quite as much as five. Now if you'll +just revise that statement, I'd be obliged. Sam, bring the whisky." + +J. B., reading the colonel's version slightly condensed, with the +truth about the diamonds carefully set forth, chuckled freely. "Well," +he said. "That was about the way it happened. But you ought to have +heard old Mrs. Botlisch! She indulged in very meaty language, I never +heard meatier, not even from a darky roustabout on the levee at New +Orleans--you know somebody said she'd been cook on a canal-boat, and +I declare I shouldn't wonder if that were true. She was mad at being +waked up, mad at 'Mirandy,' mad at 'Bill,' mad at Teddy and me, and the +thief and the diamonds and everything else. But let me tell you about +Pallinder. We started out to ransack the park; you know how it was +last Tuesday, a cold, sleety January night, without any snow falling, +or we could have followed the fellow's tracks. As it was we just had +to go prowling around the walls, and into the shrubbery. I had an old +bird-gun of the colonel's, that hadn't been fired for years. It was a +muzzle-loader, with a kind of sawed-off barrel, and I'll bet it would +scatter like a charge of bribery in the State Legislature. Pallinder +hadn't anything but one of these little light rattan canes. When we +got down to the gate, somebody bounced out of hiding and ''Alt!' says +he, in a shrill voice. ''Alt!' That fellow Huddesley is English, you +know, and drops his _h_'s; he's an awfully funny little chap. Well, I +''alted.' I was taken by surprise, and I didn't want to let fly with +my blunderbuss without knowing what it was all about. But what do you +think Pallinder did? Walked right up to him, took him by the collar +and pulled him out--yes, sir, that's what the colonel did, without +hesitating one instant. Pretty cool, I call it, for a man of his age, +practically unarmed, with a lame leg. Of course, I wasn't frightened; +there was nothing to frighten anybody, and besides I had a gun; but I +wasn't sharp and ready like the colonel; I hesitated. But Pallinder +walked right up, collared him and pulled him forward. 'Come out o' +that!' says he. 'Who are you?' 'Oh, Lord, Colonel Pallinder, sir, is it +you?' says Huddesley, trembling all over. He was the worst scared man +you ever saw. 'Hi didn't know you. The doctor will be 'ere in two twos, +sir. 'E told me to 'alt hanybody Hi saw.' And then along came Doctor +Vardaman with a lantern. 'What on earth is all this?' he said. 'Is this +your chicken-thief, Huddesley?' + +"As we went back to the house, I said to the colonel: 'That was rather +startling, wasn't it, being shouted at to halt that way?' He laughed +and said yes, it reminded him of a time he rode head foremost into the +Yankee pickets one night--'when both armies were manoeuvring around the +Potomac basin--not very long before Chancellorsville, you know. I was +carrying despatches,' he said. I asked him what he did. 'Well, I guess +I did about two-forty, and it wasn't over a very good track either!' +he said and laughed again. 'I lit right out. They shot my horse. I +wasn't lame then, though.' And I couldn't get another word out of him. +I wish he'd talk simply like that all the time," the young man added, +thoughtfully. "Instead of gassing around so much." + +J. B. himself declined to be interviewed--amiably enough, but still +he declined. And Doctor Vardaman was another to whom the reporters +appealed in vain. "The circumstances are exactly as Colonel Pallinder +related them," he said to the only one whom he would consent to see. +"And there is really nothing for me to say. I had gone to bed when my +man Huddesley pounded on the door and called me. I got up and found him +breathless, and very much excited; he was half-dressed, had been out +of doors, and as I could see, was badly frightened. One cannot expect +heroic behaviour in a man of his calibre, and on the whole I think he +showed a very good spirit. As soon as I understood what he had seen, I +ordered him to go outside and wait until I got my clothes on, and to +challenge anyone he might see about the park gate, for I immediately +suspected that my chicken-house would not offer much inducement to a +thief alongside of Mrs. Pallinder's diamonds. The man has been quite +sick since from exposure and excitement. I wish you a very good-day, +sir." + +And with this the _Journal_ man and others had to be content. Huddesley +himself would doubtless have been more expansive, but the honest +fellow went to bed with a serious sore throat and cold the day after +the attempted robbery, and could not leave his room for a week. Mrs. +Maginnis held sway in the doctor's kitchen, dispensing unlimited tea +and gossip to the grocers' men, milkmen, postmen, even the baffled +reporters and "plain-clothes," or uniformed detectives that called in +shoals for days. "The docthor won't see yez," she told the latter, "so +it's no use askin'. An' as for Misther Huddesley, he's on th' flat of +his back, an' can't raise his voice above a whisper. Annyway, he says +he couldn't swear to th' man, if it was to save his immorrtal sowl. It +was too dark, an' he only saw 'twas a man gallivantin' around where +he'd no business. It's a foine-spurted bye he was to go afther that +thievin', murderin' divil with th' poker, an' I'm glad th' docthor's +got him instid of that drunken spalpeen he had befure; him that got on +a tear, I mane, an' wint up to th' big house with a knife yellin' an' +swearin' he'd cut th' hearrt out of iverybody--bad scran to him! It's +turrible lot of men th' docthor's had intoirely." + +She was right; it _was_ a terrible lot of men the doctor had had. +The picturesque ruffian of whom she spoke had been dismissed by the +old gentleman a fortnight before at the close of a spree in which he +had taken it into his drunken head to invade the Pallinder kitchen, +menacing the panic-struck maids with a cleaver and demanding more +liquor. To him succeeded Huddesley; I never saw the latter except +on one occasion, but he became a familiar figure to most of us, and +Doctor Vardaman was rather fond of telling how he acquired the only +good servant he ever had. The doctor (according to his own narrative) +after having at great expense of time and trouble and some personal +risk, got rid of the highly emotional person with the cleaver who was +haled off screeching and shackled in a patrol-wagon; and after having +gone downtown and seen the wretch cared for in Saint Francis' Hospital, +inserted his usual advertisement in the _State Journal_, "Wanted--by +a physician (retired) living in the suburbs, an unmarried man to take +entire charge of his house and garden. Must be experienced in cooking +and indoor-work. References required. Dr. John Vardaman, 201 Richmond +Avenue. Take Lexington and Amherst Street cars." + +The clerk in the _Journal_ office who took it in grinned at sight of +him. "Guess we'll have to give you a rebate on your subscription, +Doctor," he said cheerfully. "This is the third time this has gone in +since last July. So long! Happy New Year!" + +A day or so later the doctor was sitting in the homely disorder of his +library, reading a new book, when the washerwoman who came in by the +day during these periods of storm and stress, stuck her towelled head +around the door. "Doc'thor, yer honour!" + +Doctor Vardaman did not answer, did not even hear; he was in an +enchantment, his lips moving unconsciously as he read. The beauty of +the lines stirred him with an almost painful sense of enjoyment. + +"Ah, thin, Docthor, asthore!" + + + "'When you and I behind the Veil are passed, + Oh, but the long, long while the World shall last!'" + + +read the doctor aloud. He looked up vaguely, still under the spell. +"What is it, Mrs. Maginnis?" + +"Here's a man to see yez about th' pla-ace." + +Doctor Vardaman clapped Omar shut briskly. In the phrase of a poet as +yet unknown to the world, he turned a keen, untroubled face, Home to +the instant need of things. "Send him in." The man came in, closed the +door quietly, and stood at attention while the doctor examined him. It +was evident that he was a little nervous, yet respectfully anxious to +conceal it. + +"What is your name?" + +"James Huddesley, sir." + +"You have a reference?" + +Huddesley produced a worn letter and handed it over. The doctor read +it through carefully. It certified that the bearer of this, James +Huddesley, was honest, sober and capable; he had lived with the writer +four years as butler, and fifteen months as valet and general man. + +"This is dated two years back," said the doctor, as he returned it. +"Was that your last place?" + +"For steady work--yes, sir." + +"Why did you leave it? And what have you been doing in the meantime?" + +"If you please, sir," said Huddesley, looking down. "Hi've 'ad +misfortunes. Hi left 'is lordship, thinkin' to better myself by settin' +hup in a small way--in a pub., sir. It was no go, sir, Hi 'adn't 'ad +the experience, and Hi didn't like the life. Hi lost my money, hall +Hi'd saved hup, and--and----" He hesitated, fingering his hat. "And 'a +little that was my wife's, if you'll hexcuse me mentioning my haffairs, +sir. Then she went back to 'er people, and--Hi just come away, Hi +couldn't stand it." + +"I didn't want a married man," said the doctor reluctantly. + +"It's just the same as bein' single, sir, beggin' yer parding," said +Huddesley, staring out of the window. "She won't never come back to me +no more--she said so. And there wasn't any children--'e died, the baby +did." + +The doctor was touched oddly by this sordid little romance of the +kitchen and backstairs. Perhaps certain long, long dead and buried +hopes, dreams, disappointments of his own stirred, faintly responsive +beneath their graves; oh, that grim, arid little cemetery walled off +in some corner of every heart! Ghosts walk about it, and we call them +Regrets. + +"What have you been doing since?" the old man asked gently. + +"Nothing much, sir--hodd jobs, waitin' in heating-'ouses, and +such-like," Huddesley answered openly. "'Tain't what Hi've been used +to, but Hi can turn my 'and to most anything. Hi saw the paper, and Hi +thought Hi'd like to get with a gentleman again; there was hanother +hadvertisement in from the big 'ous hup there with the pillars, that Hi +hinquired habout--but Hi found they don't 'ave nobody but coloured." + +Mrs. Pallinder recalled this circumstance afterwards, with some regret. +"He was here quite a while," she said. "The cook told me making +inquiries in the kitchen--but I didn't see him. Such a pity--the +coloured servants wouldn't have minded, but you can't expect a white +man to sit down with them, you know. Well," she would conclude with her +charming smile, "if I couldn't have him, I don't know of anybody I'd +rather see him with than Doctor Vardaman." The doctor put a few more +questions for form's sake, and ended by engaging Huddesley on the spot. +"As to his references," he said, "I never troubled to look them up. A +man like that is his own reference. Lord What's-his-Name of Berkeley +Square, London, and What's-his-Name's Hall, Yorks, was a trifle too +far off for me to bombard him with letters about a servant whom he had +probably entirely forgotten. I'll risk Huddesley." + +The event justified him; never had the doctor lived in such +comfort--never, that is, since the death of his spinster sister, +some years before. His boots and broadcloth showed the ex-valet's +ministrations; the old gentleman gave choice little dinners; it was +his turn to send dainties about amongst his friends. The only fault +he ever found in Huddesley was a certain sour aversion to society for +which, as Doctor Vardaman remarked, the man could hardly be blamed. "He +never takes a day out, and won't look at a woman," said the doctor. +"Most men of his class, after such an experience, take for a while at +least to drink, or other reprehensible courses. And indeed I suspect +that Huddesley didn't put in all of that dismal two years in the chaste +occupations of waiting in heating-'ouses, and hother hodd jobs. But I +don't want to push the inquiry. After all, he's had a pretty hard time +for a young man--he's not over thirty, I think--what would you have? +We're none of us saints." + +FOOTNOTE: + +[4] This was a negro settlement, a survival of old "Underground +Railroad" days, full of bad characters, about half a mile off, towards +the river. It has been improved away of late years.--M. S. W. + + + + +CHAPTER NINE + + +Mazie Pallinder's visit to her relatives, the Lees and Randolphs, was +prolonged until the Easter holidays, which came the last week in March +that spring. It is a fact, verified by solid paragraphs of "newspaper +gabble," that she _was_ visiting people of those high-sounding and +brilliantly suggestive names, and moving amongst the elect. The family +must have been well connected on the Pallinder side at any rate--who +or what the Botlisch clan were, no one would like to think. We missed +Mazie. Mrs. Pallinder went about alone to teas and receptions, smiling +steadily in her beautiful clothes that she wore with so dignified a +grace, and reporting that she and the colonel were having a kind of +ridiculous honeymoon time of it by themselves, no one calling, no +banjos humming in the parlour, no impromptu little dances, no hordes +of girls doing one another's hair, and munching nougat all day long +in Mazie's room, no prowling about the ice-chest at midnight for +chicken salad and champagne. "The house is as quiet as a funeral," she +humorously complained. "All our young men have deserted us, except +Mr. Peters, who comes, I think, out of sheer humanity. My mother goes +to bed very early, and there the colonel and I sit by the fire like +two old fogies until we fall asleep in our chairs. The other night we +actually went to bed at nine o'clock. Sometimes Doctor Vardaman comes +up and we have a game of cribbage. Positively I don't know why we +don't take root where we sit, and grow fast to the spot like plants. +On the whole this restful time may be good for the colonel. He's been +so immersed in business and those Eastern men, those rich, grasping +creatures, do _drive_ him so. I often say to him, 'Oh, William, never +mind the money. Haven't you made enough by this last deal in Phosphate +to satisfy you _yet_?' I never ask any more how much he _did_ make--I +don't know anything about business, and it frightens me to think of him +handling such big sums, and taking such risks and responsibilities. He +gave me this ring the other day, though, so I know that whatever it +was, the venture turned out all right. Isn't it a beauty? Of course, +I'm not sorry he's making money, but, oh, Mrs. Lawrence, our husbands +work too hard--all our men work too hard--it's not worth it. A few +thousands less would content us, and what we want more than anything +else in the world is to have them in good health. Shall I put you down +here? Oh, I'm pleased you like this little brougham; I had it lined +with the dark green cloth because, to tell the truth, I thought I would +look better with my fair hair against a dark green background than if +it were maroon or deep blue. Don't laugh, my dear, there're tricks in +all trades, and it's a woman's trade to look her best. Home, James!" + +Colonel Pallinder, however, never went to his office until ten o'clock +in the morning, and might be seen posting home any day at about +half-past three in the afternoon--"after banking-hours," he used to +explain, when one met him; "there's really nothing to be done--nothing, +in _my_ office, at any rate." And his gesture somehow indicated wider +horizons than ours and a vista of great affairs. For all that, he had +no appearance of a man harried by cares; and it may be, too, that +his home was not quite so quiet and restful as it was represented. +"I understand that Mrs. Pallinder is trying again to get a maid for +her mother," said Doctor Vardaman, half thinking aloud, half speaking +to Huddesley as the latter brought him the morning paper, in company +with his breakfast on the old silver-plated tray with which a previous +generation of Vardamans had been served; the copper of its foundation +showed through here and there under Huddesley's vigorous care; the +delicate etched arabesque around the heraldic device and motto in the +centre were almost worn away. Doctor Vardaman liked to fancy he could +see his mother's thin, fine hands fluttering about above the cups +and saucers on this tray; she, too, had had a habit of harmless and +somehow perfectly dignified familiarity with her staid old servants +over this one meal. The doctor opened his paper, turning at once--as +everybody invariably does--to a certain concise, ominous column in the +lower left-hand corner of the inside page where might be read, framed +in undertakers' advertisements, and notices that So-and-So's mortuary +sculptures were the best in the market, the names of yesterday's dead. +Close by, another column offered you a list of marriage-licenses with a +fine indifference to the fitness of things; and not far away appeared +the "Help wanted--Male--Female." "I see Mrs. Pallinder's advertising +for a maid," said the doctor. "And here, in another place, she wants +a cook, too. She's had a great deal of trouble with servants this +winter. There's a pair of us--_arcades ambo!_" He grinned into his +coffee-cup. "Only I'm very well-off now at least. This coffee's very +fine, Huddesley. It's a pity Mrs. Pallinder's having such a time." + +"Yes, sir," said Huddesley respectfully. "That kind generally does have +trouble, sir." + +He caught the doctor's eye and coughed discreetly. + +"The house is large and there must be a great deal of work," said the +doctor, considering with vast satisfaction how comfortable he was in +his little den. + +"Nobody minds doin' work that 'e's paid for, Hi've noticed," said +Huddesley. "It's when you 'ave trouble colleckin' wages that you're +liable to break hoff relations haltogether--speakin', hof course, sir, +as a man in my position, not as a gentleman in yours." + +"The deuce!" ejaculated Doctor Vardaman inwardly. "Is _that_ it? Well, +I don't know why I'm surprised--I might have suspected as much--in +fact, I _have_ suspected as much off and on." + +"Hof course coloured people are very precarious, sir, very precarious; +you don't know 'ow they live, nor you don't want to," said Huddesley, +arranging the dishes. "Their servants is hall coloured, sir, you know. +Hi halways think 'Like master, like man'--that's the hold sayin', sir." + +"I must stop him," thought Doctor Vardaman guiltily. "It's disgraceful +listening to a servant's gossip this way--Ahem! Who was that I +heard you having such a squabble with at the kitchen door yesterday +afternoon, Huddesley?" he asked abruptly. + +"A fellow peddlin' shoe-strings and collar-buttons, sir--Hi didn't like +'is looks and Hi hordered 'im hoff pretty sharp. Hi'm sorry you heard +the--the haltercation, sir, but they're very 'ard to get rid of." + +"And you aren't any too plucky," said the doctor to himself with some +amusement, remembering Huddesley's not over-heroic behaviour on the +occasion of the burglary. "Why, I saw him going up the avenue towards +Colonel Pallinder's afterwards, and I thought he looked like a +respectable man," he said aloud. + +Huddesley paused a moment before answering; he was folding the +tablecloth with an elaborate neatness; the operation required his +undivided attention. Then: "Beg parding, sir, that wasn't 'im you saw," +he said calmly. "That was the gent that collecks for Barlow & Foster, +goin' hup to see if 'e couldn't get something on their coal-bill; I +persoom you know it ain't been paid yet. There was hanother there +yesterday from Scheurmann--the fourth or fifth time for _'im_, Hi've +lost count, there's been so many of 'em lately." + +Doctor Vardaman retreated to his library, somewhat out of countenance. +"Good Lord!" he thought, "it's worse than I supposed--a deal worse! +These servants see or smell out everything. It's not safe to let them +talk to you; _I_ don't want to know anything about the Pallinders' +affairs." Nevertheless he smiled a little as he sat smoking by the +fire. "'The haltercation,'" he quoted. "Huddesley certainly is a +character. He reminds me of that valet of Major Pendennis' in the +novel, that fellow Morgan--only Morgan turned out to be a rascal, +the head villain of the story, if I remember." He took down the +book--it was a first edition with Thackeray's own clumsy yet spirited +illustrations--and sat reading the rest of the morning. + +As reluctant as he was, however, the doctor, like the rest of the +world, could not always keep his eyes and ears closed against those +embarrassing things which we should all so much rather not know. +There are bits of gossip which seem to be common and not altogether +undesirable property; and there are ugly rumours which we feel it to +be the part of decency to hush up. We hear, underhand, that Jones is +wont to skulk at home for a fortnight dead drunk, that Smith's latest +financial venture was curiously involved and cloudy; even if true, and +even if we disapprove of Jones' and Smith's conduct in the abstract, +it yet in no way concerns us. We are none of us saints, as the doctor +himself said; we dislike especially the pose of holier-than-thou. Jones +and Smith may not be model citizens, but let us give them the benefit +of the doubt and continue to accept their dinner-invitations. Doctor +Vardaman, an upright man who would as soon have taken a horse-whip to +a servant as cheat him out of a penny, found himself averse to believe +what was under his eyes every day, and obscurely whispered here and +there by people in other ranks of life than Huddesley's. What if the +Pallinders were besieged by duns, and their servants unpaid? That was +none of his business; at the suggestion the old gentleman felt an +irritation for which perhaps some mocking inner self was partly to +blame. He found excuses for them; they were notoriously and amusingly +careless, extravagant, free-handed--er--er--_Southern_, in a word; the +colonel might be a rogue, as he undoubtedly was a wind-bag, yet of his +own knowledge, the doctor could say nothing. Nobody had ever tried to +trick _him_; he saw no reason why he should suddenly cold-shoulder the +Pallinders; their house was the pleasantest he knew. + +Thus the doctor reflected uneasily, trying to hush that ironic sprite +within; and presently he was left with fewer defences still against +its sly unwelcome jeers, for the business which he took such comfort +in assuring himself was not his, became his in spite of him! He was +a little surprised, when, in the late afternoon of the same day, +Huddesley deferentially opened the library-door to announce "Mr. +Gwynne Peters." This formality of entrance was imposed on everybody by +the new man, and there was an old-world flavour about it that agreed +well with the doctor's house and character. Huddesley, who would have +been an ordinary flunkey in such an establishment as the Pallinders', +was already that endearing person--a trusted and trustworthy +servant--at Doctor Vardaman's. Gwynne came in, ruddy from the thin +brisk March air, eager and confident of his welcome, bringing to the +doctor's mind what kind memories of old days; of times when he used to +come with a top, a kite, a lame kitten, and filled the childless house +with childish confusion. Now he was as tall as Doctor Vardaman, and the +latter noted with an odd pang that his young face was settling into +the harder lines which recalled to so many his grandfather's portrait; +perhaps the anxiety that never entirely forsook him had made its mark +on Gwynne. At any rate it was very apparent as he said, glancing about, +after Huddesley had taken his hat and overcoat, and gone silently and +most respectfully out of the room: "Cousin Steven hasn't been here, has +he? I asked Huddesley, but he didn't seem to know." + +"Come to think of it, I don't believe Steven has been in to see me +since I've had Huddesley--that's about two months, you know," said +the doctor. "He knows nearly everyone now, and never seems to get the +names and faces mixed up. If he'd ever seen Steven, he wouldn't have +forgotten him----" ("I wish I hadn't said that!" he added inwardly). +But Gwynne only frowned absent-mindedly, and began to feel along the +mantelpiece for matches. "Were you looking for him?" + +"He's in town; he was in the office, but I had gone out. Then +afterwards I met Templeton on the street, and he told me he understood +Cousin Steven to say he was coming out here. You--you haven't seen him +going up to the Pallinder's, have you?" + +"Why, no. But he'll be along in a little while, I dare say," said the +doctor easily--and wondered within him what Steven was about _now_? +He said nothing more, having in perfection the gift of companionable +silence; and for almost five minutes Gwynne himself did not speak, +blowing a soothing cloud of smoke by the doctor's fire. Then he said +abruptly, not looking at his old friend, as if trusting him to follow +up his thought. + +"I went out to see Sam the other day." + +"Ah? Was he----" + +"Just the same. He didn't know me--never does. Perhaps it's just +as well. The attendant spoke as if he thought Sam was in very good +shape--physically, you know. 'He'll probably live for years, Mr. +Peters,' he said to me. 'He's stronger than you are this minute.' They +treat him all right, I think. It's always on my mind a little, you +know, that maybe they wouldn't if it wasn't for my having an eye on +them all the time. I go out about once a month, but they never know +when I'm coming. But you can't tell what happens in those places--even +the best of them." + +"Sheckard is a reliable man; I've known him for thirty years. He's +always very careful about the attendants, as far as I've noticed; even +the patients that haven't any money, the ones he takes for a merely +nominal sum, or whatever their people can scrape up, are just as well +cared-for, I think. And of course that isn't the case with Sam----" + +"It takes all Sam has," interrupted Gwynne gloomily. "Every cent." + +"You can't blame them. But I wouldn't worry about him, if I were in +your----" + +"I'm not worrying. I'm simply trying to do the best I can," said Gwynne +sharply. + +The doctor caught the note of uneasy irritation in his voice with +surprise. Nothing could have been farther from his mind, or indeed, +more unjust, than to accuse Gwynne of shirking his duties, yet the +young man was plainly nettled--on the defensive. "I must have been +too sympathetic," thought the doctor, remembering the miserably +touchy Gwynne pride. Doctor Vardaman was the one person on earth, +hardly excepting his own family, to whom Gwynne would have mentioned +his brother. For everybody else, Sam Peters was away in California, +in Algiers, in Timbuctoo--the devices by which Sam was kept in the +background would have afforded material for a pitiful farce, if they +had not been concerned with so pitiful a tragedy; there was about these +lies a kind of wretched courage that went near to rendering their folly +dignified. Gwynne knew that his brother's misfortune was in no sense +a disgrace; but he could not bring himself to regard it as a thing to +be thought or spoken of like any other illness. Too much of his life +had been passed in the grimly fantastic environment of Gwynne family +traditions for him to be completely emancipated at twenty-four. + +"I want to do the right thing as much as anybody," said Gwynne; he +scowled into the fire, chewing the end of his cigar. "Only it's not +always easy to say what _is_ the right thing. In real life right and +wrong aren't laid down in black and white the way they are in those +Tommy-and-Harry books we used to have when we were children; they sort +of shade off into each other. You've got to--to make compromises. You +can't take any satisfaction in being right--abstractly _right_--when +you're being hard and--and cruel." + +"What on earth is the boy arguing with himself about?" thought Doctor +Vardaman; these not very original remarks had, for all their emphasis, +the air of being offered in advocacy of some doubtful cause; there was +a trace of temper and self-consciousness in them, and even the speaker +himself appeared unconvinced. "He's been having trouble with Steven, I +suspect," the doctor concluded, remembering how capable Steven was of +making trouble, and how difficult it was to manage him without recourse +to a tyranny from which Gwynne would recoil. + +"That may be a good frame of mind for a lawyer, Gwynne," he said +pleasantly. "That disposition, I mean, to allow a certain amount of +right on every side. The question of expediency----" + +"That's what _I_ think," Gwynne interrupted eagerly. "It's as much a +point of what's _best_ to do as of what's rigorously _right_ to do. But +you can't make people see that; now people like----" + +"Mr. Steven Gwynne!" said Huddesley, opening the door. And even in +the uproar of Steven's entrance--he could do nothing quietly, and had +a voice of thunderous volume--Doctor Vardaman had time to observe +Gwynne's start and changing colour. Huddesley withdrew, taking Steven's +"artics" with a manner conveying his fixed belief that they should be +handled with tongs; but the doctor, who generally viewed this comic +by-play with profound amusement, for once let it pass unnoticed. As his +guests fronted each other, the old gentleman felt a sudden menace in +the air; something had gone wrong, had gone very wrong, indeed; that +much was easy to read in the two lowering faces. He looked from one +to the other in apprehension; he tried to relieve the situation by a +gust of what he inwardly characterised as "futile patter," offering +chairs and comments on the weather. That his unoffending parlour should +be made the scene of a Gwynne family squabble did not strike him as +outrageous; he felt too genuine and humane an interest in both parties. +At the back of his mind the thought was busy that Steven must have +been stirring up some kind of mischief with his confounded vapouring +communistic and anarchistic theories, his "circulating medium," or +Heaven knew what other foolishness; and how was Gwynne, or for that +matter anybody else, to deal with him? The poor old fellow was not--not +responsible; yet he could not be bullied like a slave, or put aside +like a child; that would only make him worse! "It would be better, it +would absolutely be better, if Steven would go stark mad and be done +with it (Lord forgive me for saying so!)" he thought. "Then, at least, +he could be cared for properly. As it is, you can't excite him, you +can't reason with him, you can't control him!" An acute sympathy for +both of them possessed him--for Steven as for a baby from whom one +should tear away some dangerous beloved plaything--for Gwynne because +he must do this really humane thing, perforce, inhumanely. The job was +obviously distasteful; Gwynne wore, the doctor thought, a reluctant, +even a sort of hang-dog air; and it was Steven who began, ruffling and +reddening in blotches over his wildly bearded face and down to his +grooved and corded old neck: "You--you got my letters, Gwynne?" + +"I got them, Cousin Steven," said Gwynne sullenly. + +"You didn't answer 'em, sir." + +"I don't think we need to discuss this before Doctor Vardaman, Cousin +Steven," said the young man. It was a dignified and temperate speech; +yet, strangely enough, it conveyed to the doctor less consideration +for himself than desire to avoid the interview altogether. Something, +either in Gwynne's tone or manner, struck a false note, and Doctor +Vardaman looked at him perplexed. + +"I don't see why we shouldn't talk before old Jack," said Steven +trustingly; he at least was sincere; there was no complexity about +Steven; his mind worked with the directness of a child's. "I'd have +asked his opinion anyhow--I meant to--that's what I'm here for----" + +"You haven't been to the Pallinders' then?" interrupted Gwynne, in +evident relief. "You haven't been there yet?" + +"No, but I'm going." Steven's eyes were uncomfortably bright as he +faced the other, with all the desperate obstinacy of a weak character. +"You can't stop me doing that, Gwynne--you _can't_. I'm one of the +heirs--I've got a _right_----" + +"Cousin Steven, if you'll just listen a minute," Gwynne began with an +effort. + +"You can't stop me--I've got a _right_--I'm not a minor," cried the +old man; the words might have been ludicrous but for his pitiful +earnestness. "I'm going to know where my money's gone to--I'm going to +have an accounting. That Pallinder fellow----" + +"I say you shall _not_ go there," said Gwynne doggedly. "Your money's +all right. If you'll only have a little patience, I'll attend to it, +and you'll get your share----" + +"You said that before--you've said it two or three times," said Steven, +his face working. He was evidently striving with all his might for +self-control; there was a painful dignity in the effort. Doctor +Vardaman was strangely touched to observe him; it seemed as if the +battle were too one-sided, whatever its cause; as if the strong and +sane young man had too much the advantage. "I'm tired of hearing that, +Gwynne. You don't know how to get the money, or you don't try. 'If you +want your business done, go and do it yourself; if not, send!' That's +a pretty good motto, seems to me. I'm going to attend to this now, +myself----" + +"Cousin Steven, you can't possibly do anything--you'll only make +matters worse. Ask Templeton, ask anybody----" + +"It's no use asking _you_, that's plain," said Steven bitterly. "I want +my money." In spite of him, his voice raised and cracked on the last +words. He turned to the doctor pleadingly. "John," he said, "it ain't +right--it ain't right. You'll say it ain't right, when you hear. Tell +him it ain't right, John, _tell_ him it ain't." He pointed to Gwynne +with his shaking hand. The younger man scowled back with a resentment +touched by some feeling not far removed from shame; Doctor Vardaman +looked at him in open inquiry, and was confounded to see that Gwynne +avoided his eye. + +"You'd better sit down here quietly, Steve, old man," he said kindly. +"Now what is it you want me to tell Gwynne? Let's thrash it all out. +We'll put it straight in five minutes, I've no doubt." He shook his +head warningly at Gwynne behind the other's back; and Gwynne set his +lips ominously and looked away. + +Old Steven began to fumble in his pockets; in his excitement he could +not command his stiff trembling fingers, and cursed with impatience as +he sought. "I've got it here--I've got a statement, Jack," he explained +twice or thrice. "I put it all down. I may not be a pin-headed, +pettifogging little know-it-all attorney," he said with a withering +side-glance at Gwynne standing against the mantelpiece in a morose +silence. "But I guess I can add up a column of figures and make it +come out right just the same." Doctor Vardaman might have laughed at +another time; but now he was too concerned for the outcome, feeling +instinctively that, at its core, this was no laughing matter. The +presentiment chilled him into gravity as he watched Steven turn out a +collection of rubbish such as any schoolboy might have owned--broken +bits of slate-pencil, a disabled toothbrush, hanks of cotton string, +a handful of Indian corn and one of loose tobacco, numerous buttons, +a large red apple--"I brought that for Gwynne, but now I'll give it +to _you_, John," said the old man severely. Finally from the midst +of this dunnage he produced a creased and soiled paper and spread it +out triumphantly. "There, Jack, there, I wrote it all out. 'William +Pallinder, Esquire'--no, I'll be damned if I call him 'esquire,' +it's too good for him--lend me your pen-knife, Jack, I'll scratch it +out when I get through reading--'William Pallinder in account with +Steven Gwynne _et al._--I remember that out of the books when I was +studying law--_et al._, for house-rent due from November, 1881, to +March, 1883, sixteen months, at one hundred and fifty dollars a month, +twenty-four hundred dollars--ain't that correct? And there's twenty +of us, you know, John, counting Eleanor and Mollie's share as one, +twenty goes into twenty-four once and four over--I put that down on +another piece of paper--I can't find it, but I remember anyhow--twenty +into twenty-four once and four over, twenty into forty goes twice, +and ought's ought, and _ought's ought_. That's a hundred and twenty +apiece that's coming to us, John, ain't that correct?" He looked into +the doctor's face eagerly; momentarily it seemed as if the gravity +of the scene were about to evaporate in a cheap burlesque. In the +variegated patchwork of Steven's mental processes, theories about the +superfluousness of money, and laboured calculations as to how much was +coming to him found an equal place, and were matched side by side with +no sense of incongruity. + +"Yes, that's perfectly correct, Steven," said the doctor, somewhat +illuminated. + +Steven eyed Gwynne vindictively. "I guess I can figger all right if I +ain't a pin-head----" + +"Nobody's saying your figures aren't right," said Gwynne, with a weary +patience. "The colonel owes the estate that much, and if you'll let +things alone, it'll be paid." + +"Oh, yes, it'll be paid. I'll make it my business to _see_ that it's +paid," said Steven, nodding. He turned to the doctor, confident of his +support. "Ain't I right, John? Gwynne there won't do anything--won't +lift his hand--just lets the rent keep on piling up and piling up. +Calls himself a _lawyer_, and won't do _anything_--I've written +him time and time again authorising him to--to sue--to sue for our +rent--haven't I, Gwynne? Did I, or did I not write you, answer me that?" + +"Oh, yes, you wrote me," said Gwynne drily. + +"There, you see, you _see_, John," said Steven despairingly. "That's +the way he acts--just that indifferent and shilly-shally. It's seven +dollars and a half a month we ought each one to have been getting all +this time--seven dollars and a half," his voice cracked again--"we +haven't had a cent--not a _cent_, for over a year, and he won't _do_ +anything! He ought to sue, oughtn't he, John?" + +"Why, Lord bless me, Steven, _I_ don't know," said the doctor, at once +relieved yet remotely disquieted to learn the cause of the trouble, +worried over Steven, and slightly amused at this seven-dollar-a-month +melodrama. "I'm not a lawyer, you know. I suppose there's some way +of getting at tenants that won't pay their rent--some way other than +evicting 'em bodily, I mean--you'd hardly like to do that, you know, to +people like the Pallinders----" + +"Don't see why not," said Steven, seizing upon this new idea with a +very disconcerting readiness. "_I'd_ bring 'em to time, if _I_ had +the doing of it." He directed a vindictive glance at Gwynne. "'Pay or +quit,' that's what I'd say----" + +"Oh, come now, Steven, you wouldn't want to see the Pallinders' +bureaus and bedsteads out on the sidewalk. It would be a kind of +discredit to the property--_your_ property--Governor Gwynne's house," +said the doctor, struggling with an inconvenient tendency to laugh, +yet diplomatically approaching Steven on his most vulnerable side. +"You wouldn't treat Mrs. Pallinder that way--she's a very polished +lady--I've heard you say so a dozen times myself." + +"There's no occasion to bring in Mrs. Pallinder's name at all, I +think," said Gwynne, in so savage a voice that Doctor Vardaman started +with astonishment. Their eyes met. "She has nothing to do with this," +said the young man constrainedly, averting his gaze almost at the +instant. "We're all gentlemen, I hope, and we don't have to talk about +a woman." + +Doctor Vardaman rubbed his chin. "Steven," he said thoughtfully, "I +think maybe you'd better let Gwynne manage it his own way----" + +"But I _have_--I have for a year, and look how he's managed it!" +cried Steven; he looked from the doctor to Gwynne in an exasperated +bewilderment. "We aren't as well off now as we were a year ago! There's +that much more owing us--and he said just the same thing then, to let +things alone. Damn it, we've let 'em alone, and see where we are!" + +There was a devious justice in this argument that, taken with Gwynne's +more or less disingenuous behaviour, was not without its effect on the +doctor; of course, he told himself, the young fellow's inactivity was +capable of some perfectly reasonable explanation; everyone knew that +the direction of the Gwynne affairs was a fearfully complicated task, +and Doctor Vardaman was not desirous of going further into its details, +even if Gwynne had wanted to enlighten him--still he would have been +better satisfied if the boy had shown himself more frank and not quite +so sulky. It occurred to him, with a fine irony, that here was probably +one of Gwynne's cases where there was some right on both sides. The +main thing at the moment, he realised, was to get Steven quieted. + +"I'm sorry, but I--really I can't advise you, Steven," he said in his +most moderate voice. "Have you talked to Mr. Templeton? He's your real +agent, you know; he does the collecting, doesn't he? I'm sure if he and +Gwynne both think----" + +"_Templeton!_ He's a--a _creature_ of Gwynne's!" cried Steven angrily. +"He's no better than a--a mercenary--a--a hired bravo!" + +Gwynne had to smile. The idea of fat little spectacled Templeton in the +rôle of chief-villain's handy-man, be-cloaked and be-daggered as we are +accustomed to figure those romantic gentlemen, was irresistibly comic. +But Steven saw the smile and turned purple; he got up, choking and +trembling. + +"Very well, young man, very well!" he said, not without dignity. "I +suppose you can afford to laugh--you have the upper hand. It's very +funny, no doubt--but _I_ wouldn't laugh at anybody in trouble--not +at my own kin anyhow--blood's thicker than water. Oh, yes, I'm +very funny, of course; I'm nothing but an old man that don't know +anything--and--and a--a kind of a nuisance, I suppose, and and--I +don't dress stylish, and it's real funny for me to want my money--oh, +yes! You needn't worry, Gwynne, I'm not going to trouble you any more +about it--I'll attend to my own affairs after this. Jack, where're +my gum-shoes, please? _You_ can let things alone, if you choose, Mr. +Peters, but _I'm_----" + +"What are you going to do?" said Gwynne harshly--the more harshly, +perhaps, because he was touched and a little shamed, against his will. + +Almost involuntarily, he moved between his cousin and the door. + +"I'm going to my house, to _my_ house, to see Pallinder myself," said +Steven, frightened yet obstinate. + +Gwynne made a gesture of angry impatience. "He won't be at home at this +time of day. Cousin Steven, if you'll _only_ wait a little----" + +"I've done all the waiting I intend to, Mr. Gwynne Peters. If he ain't +at home, I mean to see _her_----" + +"Oh, good Lord, Steven, you can't do that--you can't talk to a woman +about things like that!" interposed Doctor Vardaman, shocked. "Now I'll +tell you what, you stay here quietly with me, and take dinner and let +Gwynne see to it. Gwynne'll fix it all right if you----" if you will +give him time, the doctor was about to add, when the weakness of that +already well-worn plea struck him. + +"I don't trust him, I tell you--he ain't to be trusted. I can attend to +my own affairs and I _will_!" said Steven fiercely. The question had by +this time become to him not so much that of recovering his money as of +having his own way; they would conspire against him, would they? They +would keep him from having a voice in his own proper affairs? Somebody +had been meddling with him that way all his life; _he_ would show them, +he, Steven Gwynne! "I won't have him interfering with me any longer--he +don't suit me--I'll run my affairs to suit myself, without any leave +from you, Mr. Gwynne Peters--call yourself a lawyer--I wouldn't trust +you 'round the corner with a cent of _my_ money--I wouldn't have you +try a case for my dog, I wouldn't----" + +"Then get some other lawyer that you do trust!" shouted Gwynne above +the other's shouting. "But right now you're not going near Mrs. +Pallinder, d'ye hear me? It's shameful; she shan't be persecuted this +way!" + +"I'll go where I damn please, sir. Get another lawyer! Precious good +care you've taken that I _can't_ get another lawyer! Where's the money? +where's my hundred and twenty dollars, Gwynne Peters?" + +"If you'll come down to the office, I'll give you your infernal hundred +and twenty now," said Gwynne, steadying himself as best he could. "I'll +give it to you myself out of hand, and then you can go and employ ten +lawyers if you like. But if you think I'm going to turn Mrs. Pall--the +Pallinders out of doors, or hound them about the rent, you're mistaken. +Why, it's my money just as much as yours, and am _I_ worrying? The +colonel's good for it, and even if he isn't, the house and furniture +are there; they aren't going to fly away--if you'll be patient and act +sensibly, I'll get your money. If you won't I'll wash my hands of the +whole business. You can----" + +"For God's sake, Gwynne," ejaculated the doctor in an undertone, "don't +make things worse than they are! Steven can't control himself, but +_you_ can!" + +"Why, I'm not a brute, Doctor Vardaman, I'm not a--a Jew! I won't +allow Mrs. Pallinder to be made wretched because of this--this--it's +bad enough for me to have to stand it; but she--she----" The young man +caught himself; he was on the edge of saying "she's an angel," but even +in that moment of excitement some saving sense of humour mercifully +restrained him. "She don't know anything about business. You can't go +to _her_ for your rent! It's--it's inhuman to harry a woman like Mrs. +Pallinder about _rent_. Leave _her_ out of it at any rate, it's the +least you can do." + +"You, sir, get me my gum-shoes," said Steven determinedly, as the door +once more swung to admit Huddesley. It is possible that this discreet +and admirably trained individual had been improving his knowledge +of Doctor Vardaman's acquaintances, just outside the key-hole; he +overlooked Steven's orders, and went up to the doctor with a perturbed +countenance. "Doctor Vardaman, if you please, sir----" there followed a +whisper charged with meaning. + +"Oh, the _devil_!" said the old gentleman desperately. He looked +around. "Steven, Gwynne, do sit down, both of you--why, yes, of course, +Huddesley, certainly you can bring her in--and--and here's the key of +the wine-cellar, Huddesley;" he was quite flustered. The others forgot +their excitement a moment to wonder at him. "Bring her in, Huddesley, +don't keep a lady standing," said the doctor, speaking testily in +his confusion. Huddesley was keenly alive to the dramatic aspect of +the meeting; he went ceremoniously out and ceremoniously returned, +spreading the door with a flourish. + +"Mrs. Pallinder!" he announced. + + + + +CHAPTER TEN + + +It was a _coup-de-théâtre_, falling as pat as if prearranged, an +unthinkable accident; the melodrama was becoming entirely too +melodramatic, according to Doctor Vardaman's notion. "Good Heavens!" he +said to himself, irritated; "this sort of thing doesn't _happen_--it +has no business to happen!" He had what is perhaps the best tact in +the world, the tact of a kind heart; but a plain man's experience does +not prepare him for moments of such awkwardness, and the doctor's +self-possession for once left him in the lurch. He advanced to +meet Mrs. Pallinder, blunderingly putting on his eye-glasses, and +blunderingly dropping them again to the length of their black silk +ribbon, stuttering out a welcome, apprehensive of Steven's next move, +out of patience with the whole grotesque and intolerable situation, +and fearful that he showed it. Mrs. Pallinder could hardly have failed +to overhear something of what was going forward; Steven's loud voice +had been raised almost to its furthest pitch, and Gwynne's, if he was +more self-contained, was still forcible and distinct enough. Neither +one could at once adjust his threatening brows to a placid, scarcely +even a natural expression, and, for that matter, the silence betrayed +as much as their speech. She would have needed to be blind or deaf not +to know that her presence came amiss--and blind and deaf Mrs. Pallinder +promptly became! It was a feat; her assumption of unconsciousness +was too perfect, but, if Gwynne and the doctor were undeceived, they +were still profoundly grateful, and Steven was reduced to a kind of +pathetic diffidence. The old man felt, in his dim way, that he had no +arms against this dazzling feminine creature; her manners, her dress, +even her delicate and finished beauty frightened him; he might as well +plan to sue a fairy for rent as this detached and brilliant personage. +"Gwynne could have let the poor old boy go in peace," thought Doctor +Vardaman, observing Steven's altered bearing; "he never would have +faced Mrs. Pallinder--I doubt if he could have stood up to the colonel!" + +"Don't get up, gentlemen, don't stand for just _me_!" said Mrs. +Pallinder, looking around on everybody and beginning to loosen her +furs. "Oh, Mr. Gwynne, what a nice surprise to find you here! Doctor +Vardaman, you didn't tell me you were expecting Mr. Gwynne. You see I'm +an old story to the doctor, Mr. Gwynne, I drop in almost every day--I +wonder he doesn't run at the sight of me--it must be a relief as well +as a pleasure to him to have you come in once in a while. Why don't you +come to see _me_, ever? We're so lonely out here--the colonel and I +depend on the doctor. Nobody ever comes to see two rusty old creatures +like us. Nobody but you, that is, Mr. Peters, you treat us with the +respect due our age." She gave him a laughing glance; Gwynne knelt +down, reddening and incoherent, to take off her overshoes. The doctor +had space to reflect that a pretty woman, be she never so well or so +long married, seldom wholly ceases to be a coquette. And all this while +Steven stood, spellbound into silence, waiting for someone else to sit +down. He would have liked to be gallant, cynical, daring, epigrammatic; +Steven's notions of society were founded on Bulwer-Lytton's novels, +with a dash of Reade, Disraeli, and Charles Lever. He had revolved +more than one graceful yet stinging speech for the humbling of the +Pallinders, figuring them brought down to a species of admiring +submission. Lo, the hour was arrived, but where was the man? All his +eloquence had stolen away; he was taken at unawares, tongue-tied in an +awkwardness that at once incensed and humiliated him. He almost envied +Gwynne his uncalculated ease. + +"I had a letter from Mazie this morning, doctor," said Mrs. Pallinder, +resolutely keeping the conversation going, and including Steven, as it +were, by main force. "My daughter, you know, Mr. Gwynne. You've been +at your country-place all winter, haven't you?" It was thus that Mrs. +Pallinder picturesquely referred to Steven's ramshackle residence; and +on her lips the phrase had a richness that pleased him ineffably. "Then +you don't know that my daughter has been away nearly two months--she +went a little after the holidays--and, oh, Mr. Gwynne, did you hear +about the robbery?" + +"_She_ don't have to make talk about the weather--trust a woman!" said +the doctor inwardly, both satirical and admiring. He had an instant of +suspense, wondering what use Steven would make of his opportunity--and +Steven was as mild as a lamb! He cleared his throat, and said yes, he +had heard about the robbery--they didn't get anything after all, did +they? He understood--that is, the paper said--he hadn't been in town +to talk to anybody--that they were after Mrs. Pallinder's diamonds. +There had been a picture in the paper of the necklace--he was glad they +hadn't got anything. + +"Why, I didn't know you approved of diamonds, Mr. Gwynne, I wouldn't +have dared to wear mine before you," said Mrs. Pallinder, tempting +Providence. "Everybody says you're so severe and critical--and--and +like all the rest of you men--you laugh at us poor women shamefully, +yes, and tyrannise over us, too, you know you do!" she went on, +displaying a discernment for which nobody would have given her credit. + +"Madame," said Steven, highly flattered; "you mistake me--beauty +unadorned----" + +"Oh, but Mr. Gwynne, I'm not in that class! Now come up to dinner +to-night, and I'll put on every diamond I have, and you'll see I'll +look the better for it." She raised her hand. "But don't involve me +in an argument--I can't hold my ground with you, you know--you're +too clever for me--I remember the last time, when you demolished me +utterly--you told me we didn't need money to get along--think of that, +Doctor Vardaman, he actually told me we didn't need to use money at +all, 'the circulating medium,' wasn't that what you called it, Mr. +Gwynne? See how well I remember! And, Doctor, before he got through, +he persuaded me, sure enough, that we didn't need money--I believed +him--at least I had nothing to say!" + +Now how, how, I ask the unprejudiced and fair-minded observer, how +could any gentleman--of the name of _Gwynne_--come at so winningly +simple a woman as Mrs. Pallinder with a low question of rent? "Pay or +quit" indeed! The thing was inconceivable, the moment inappropriate. + +"You _will_ come to dinner, won't you, Mr. Gwynne? Mr. Peters, I've a +crow to pick with _you_, for never bringing him. Oh, I know you hate +society, Mr. Gwynne, but just for once----" + +Steven faltered; he would have accepted the invitation in another +moment--and if he had, who knows how this story might have ended?--but +Doctor Vardaman intervened briskly. + +"Steven's got to stay here, madame, I asked him first," he said, and +clapped the other on the shoulder. Perhaps the doctor was a shade more +cordial even than his nature prompted; he felt a great pity for Steven, +and a certain shame at the cheap and flimsy devices by which his poor +old friend could be overpowered. Mrs. Pallinder made a little mouth at +him. + +"You always have your way, Doctor, you've gotten the better of me ever +so many times. _You've_ got Huddesley, for instance," she said, not +disdaining to bestow an _oeillade_ on the servant as he stood before +her, offering sherry in the doctor's little old trumpet-shaped glasses; +he acknowledged the compliment by a respectful grin. "And _I'm_ simply +having the most _awful_ time--you don't know of a good cook, do you, +Huddesley?" + +"No, ma'am. Hi don't know hanybody 'ere, ma'am," said Huddesley, with a +faintly superior air; and passed on to Gwynne with his silver tray. It +was true; he held himself apart from, and rather above, other servants. +The doctor had often remarked it with an amused sympathy. + +"_Don't_ you? Isn't that a pity--I want so much to get settled in the +kitchen before Mazie comes home--well, if you hear of anyone, you'll +remember me, Huddesley, won't you?" Mrs. Pallinder held her glass in +one hand, and shook a letter out of her muff with the other. "Mazie's +letter, Doctor Vardaman--she'll be back in a week--she's going to bring +a friend--the most _English_ name--one of those hyphenated names, you +know. Her father's one of the secretaries at the Legation. Where--oh, +here it is. 'Muriel' _isn't_ that _English_? But just listen to the +rest of it!--'Ponsonby-Baxter.' Her father is Sir Julian--no, it's +Lucien--no, Mr. Peters, I believe my eyes are failing--can you make out +what that word is?" + +Gwynne, after a solemn inspection, pronounced it to be Llewellyn. + +"I notice all these young men read my daughter's handwriting a great +deal better than I can, for some mysterious reason, Mr. Gwynne," said +Mrs. Pallinder pointedly, to Steven, with her pretty laugh. And Steven +actually laughed, too! Where was his animosity? Where his anathemas? +He was at ease, mild, pleased, interested. In fact, Mrs. Pallinder, +looking hardly a day over thirty-five, with her fresh voice, her softly +bright eyes, her trim and supple figure, was an impossible sort of +person for the rôle of mother. There was a charming absurdity in her +continual half-humorous, half-sentimental allusions to her years and +infirmities. "When they get here, I'm thinking of having a little +company in the house, Mr. Peters," she went on, with a confidential +glance that magically comprehended everybody in the room. "Some of +the girls, like Kitty Oldham, for instance, and your cousin Marian, +of course, if her mother will let her come--I always say, Mr. Gwynne, +that it's no wonder all the girls in your family are so well-bred and +have such lovely manners--_Gwynne_ manners, Colonel Pallinder calls +them--it's no wonder they're all that way, they've had such careful +mothers, and _such_ training! It's my despair--I'll never make Mazie +that way! I should like to go to school to Mrs. Horace Gwynne myself +for a while, only she wouldn't have an old thing like me around, trying +to copy those beautiful, finished ways she has--the most _elegant_ +woman I know! I think a little party in the house like that will +make it pleasant for Miss--Miss Baxter, I suppose we'll call her--the +whole name's a little too much--_Ponsonby-Baxter_! And now the colonel +says he'll have to have some men in the house in self-defence. Such +a houseful of women! It bores a man, I really think--oh, now, you +needn't look that way, Mr. Gwynne, you _know_ it bores men sometimes +to have too many women around. So we want to have some of the young +men, too--of course you, Mr. Peters, and do you think Mr. Lewis would +come? And then there's Mr. Taylor--the one you all call J. B., I mean. +There're those three large rooms in the wing at the back, and the small +one over the hall--plenty of room, don't you think so, Mr. Gwynne? You +ought to know how many the house will hold." + +Steven looked important and considered. He remembered when Governor +Gwynne had entertained the Whig Campaign Committee in--in--he forgot +the year, but it was when Van Buren was elected; every room in the +house had been occupied, and cots in the library--you could put ten +cots in the library--oh, easily ten, end to end, you know---- + +"Cots! Oh, I don't think we'll need cots, you know, with young ladies +in the party----" + +Steven did not hear her. He was launched on an accurate description +of the festivities, to which Mrs. Pallinder listened with a caressing +attention. How much had she overheard? Or how much guessed? Possibly +she would have been as painstakingly gracious to Steven in any event; +to look her best, to act her best, was Mrs. Pallinder's trade, and you +may trust me it was not always an easy one. "_So_ interesting, isn't +it? Oh, it's all very well for you to smile, Doctor Vardaman, you +remember all this, and it seems very ordinary to you, no doubt. But +it's rarely one hears such reminiscences--you've met so many celebrated +people, Mr. Gwynne--the Governor knew everybody, of course, in his +position, and then he was a famous man himself. Oh, now I'm here, and +have a chance at last, I want you to tell me again about that time +the Governor gave away the crimson velvet waistcoat with gold bees +embroidered on it--don't you remember, you told it to me the first time +we met, and I tried to tell it to the colonel afterwards, but I got it +all mixed up. He gave it to Tom Corwin, didn't he? And then the darky +waiter got hold of it somehow, and wore it to the party? I laughed so +when I came to that part, I couldn't go on with the story----" + +Doctor Vardaman listened between relief and a singularly unreasonable +resentment; the business of pacifying Steven seemed ludicrously easy, +now. His weaknesses and the adroitness with which they were approached, +were alike contemptible. Anything, of course, he admitted unwillingly, +anything was better than having a scene; they should be thankful they +were so well past that danger. Yet he wondered privately what Gwynne +thought of this dexterous jockeying; a woman's performances in what +she chooses to consider the art of diplomacy unveiled, seldom fail +of moving the masculine onlooker to mingled wonder, scorn, and pity. +The creature has the cunning of her feebleness; how she does juggle +with honour and decency! How lightly she trips it along the unstable +wire! What capital she makes of her toy emotions, her sham beliefs and +unbeliefs! There is even something admirable in her serene assurance +that the end always justifies the means. + +Steven may not have talked himself, or been talked, into a complete +forgetfulness of his errand; but at least the evil hour was a while +postponed. He saw Mrs. Pallinder leave the house escorted by Gwynne +through the falling dusk, with genial unconcern; and reiterated to +the doctor as they sat at table that evening his conviction that Mrs. +Pallinder was a very polished lady! Thus did the afternoon finish; +never was there a tamer sequel to a more alarming prelude. If the +doctor had received some disquieting revelations, he could still put +them from his mind as no affair of his; and if a vexed anxiety about +Gwynne lurked within him, it needed no great effort to stifle or +banish that, too, momentarily, at any rate. The boy knew what he was +about--_laissez faire!_ he thought, and surrendered himself to a long +evening of Steven and the circulating medium with thankfulness and even +some amusement. + +"You--you're ever so kind to poor old Cousin Steven, Mrs. Pallinder," +Gwynne said to her, with a good deal of feeling, as they parted in +the shadow of the Parthenon front. His voice trembled a little; and +perhaps the lady let him hold her hand a trifle longer than etiquette +prescribes. + +"My dear boy," she said with gentle emphasis, "my dear boy, don't _I +know_---- If there is any way I can think of to make a person like +that happier, wouldn't I gladly do it? That seems to me a very small +thing--a woman's duty--what else are we for? I would do it for _you_ +anyhow, even if I didn't feel so sorry for him." She melted into the +house without waiting to gauge the effect of this touching speech, and +the young man went off down the avenue with his head in the stars. + +All very wrong and very improper, no doubt! But, on the whole, Gwynne's +conduct, it seems to me, was most edifying--a pattern for any youth in +his position. If Mrs. Pallinder had been the angel he thought her, he +could not have borne himself toward her with more respect. A young +man's first love, or let us call it, his first amorous fancy, is free +from grossness. There was something spiritual and exalted in Gwynne's +devotion; I believe he figured himself, foolishly and egotistically +enough, her knight, faithful without hope of reward, and gloried in his +anguish. If he stood between her and the all-too-righteous exactions of +his relatives and co-heirs, if he shielded her from the vials of their +wrath, at the cost of some squirmings of conscience, still I am loath +to blame him. + +There was, of course, no excuse for him, yet---- Mrs. Pallinder was +old enough to be his mother, and married to boot; but she was a very +beautiful woman, and he was softhearted and sentimental, and had had +a harsh and loveless life. How can I sit in judgment on him? Was I so +wise at twenty-four? For Mrs. Pallinder herself, I say and stick to it, +she was a perfectly good woman; having discovered that she could twist +Gwynne around her finger, she cannot be blamed, in the circumstances, +for twisting him. The men may well sneer at our tools, but we must even +use the tools you let us have, gentlemen, and sometimes you thrust the +haft into our hands. No woman can make a fool of a man, I think, unless +the man lends himself whole-heartedly to the job. And there are times +when she goes at it with little relish. + +Was it pleasant for Mrs. Pallinder to blarney Gwynne into +forgetfulness? Did she enjoy listening to old Steven's dreary, +everlasting talk? I think that mean necessity galled her at times as +much as it would have the highest-minded reader of this page. We must +suppose she loved her swindling rascal of a husband, for I detect a +dingy loyalty in her method of supporting him. So he cleaves to her +and cherishes her, a woman cares not a jot whether her husband be +honest or not; she will uphold him by such sorry arts as he himself +will look upon with disfavour. So terrific is her moral obliquity +that she will lie, wheedle, cozen, cheat, with an unruffled mind to +protect or further him; displaying a distorted integrity of purpose +that compels our grudging admiration. Let anyone who doubts these +statements ask the wives and mothers who unsparingly condemn Mrs. +Pallinder's line of conduct, what they would have had her do? Give up +the game, and so betray her husband's interests, or engage in a little +harmless flirtation to put off the hour of his reckoning? You will +find that these virtuous ladies will dodge the question utterly. They +will indignantly and scornfully reject either course--yet they will +not be able to think of any other, and therein you have your answer. +I remember once hearing Doctor Vardaman solemnly declare and vow that +he believed nine-tenths of the shiftless, incompetent, scoundrelly men +in the world were kept going in their profitless or criminal careers +solely by the co-operation of some fool of a woman--"an honest woman, +at that!" he added, with a laugh. + +Gwynne walked away in a state of exaltation that obliterated from his +mind all such sordid and petty considerations as twenty-four hundred +dollars of rent in arrears. At the end of the avenue he turned to +look back, and saw a light spring up in the bedroom window he knew +to be Mrs. Pallinder's; he walked on slowly, watching it with what +high-coloured and high-flown fancies! Miranda, I am afraid, is a name +that defeats the muse; but Gwynne continued in this Romeo attitude and +meditation until he crashed into a weary, homing labourer, a resident +of Bucktown, most probably, faring along through the twilight with a +whitewash bucket and brushes. + +"Hy-yah! Keerful, cahn't yo'? Yo' 'd oughta look whar yo's g'wine, +boss!" + +Gwynne started at the words; he ought to look where he was going! He +went on, slowly, frowning a little, with his head bent. + + + + +CHAPTER ELEVEN + + +Lent dragged or slipped or scurried along according to the varying +tempers of those that watched it go; of late years the speed of its +passage has increased noticeably, it seems to me; successive Lents +shove one another off the stage with an alarming celerity. But most of +us voted it dismally slow in those days. A church entertainment was +given, in which Mrs. Pallinder figured in tableaux as _Ruth_, with +white draperies, her hair bound up with fillets, and a sheaf of wheat +(it was really pampas grass) in her beautiful bare white arms. She +looked, undoubtedly, as much like _Ruth_ as she had like _Astarte_; +that is to say, not at all. But people were unfeignedly delighted +this time, and not without reason; the curtain had to be rung up +repeatedly on "Ruth and Boaz." I thought, to be truthful, that her +features seemed hard and sharp in the strong calcium-light; perhaps she +was a little too old to impersonate a character like Ruth. But Teddy +Johns assured me vehemently that she was ideal. "Beau'ful creature, +Mis' Pallinder--_hic_--s'prisin'--Ruth--'Starte--Greek Slave--no, +no, didn't mean that, of course--_hic_--Greek statue--always doin' +somethin'--Pallinders, somethin' new, all time!" he said, meeting me +in the passageway of Trinity Parish House, where the entertainment +was given. I do not know where he had been; it is generally difficult +to draw young men to church-tableaux, and there were not many there. +Teddy had an air of surprise at finding himself in the audience; his +face was very much flushed, he laughed loud and inappropriately; and +Judge Lewis came with a grave face, and took him by the arm and pulled +him away, muttering some apology to me. Judge Lewis was a vestryman; I +saw him talking to some of the others afterwards, and their grey heads +wagged solemnly; the judge could not have been telling one of those +humorous anecdotes for which he was so celebrated. + +It was not long after this that Mazie at last came home; and she lived +up to the reputation that Teddy had given the Pallinders of always +doing something new. Doctor Vardaman assured her gallantly that she was +like the angel that came down and stirred up the Pool of Bethesda--"we +were all stagnating," said the old gentleman, in his kind mock-serious +manner; and Mazie smiled and lifted her eyes at him, without, I dare +say, understanding in the least where or what the Pool of Bethesda was. +She brought with her Miss Muriel Ponsonby-Baxter; and, following upon +their arrival, Mrs. Pallinder collected her house party. Most of the +young people she asked caught eagerly at the invitation; you may laugh, +or perhaps jeer, but house parties were not then the affair of everyday +occurrence they have since become--not in our corner of the world, +certainly. We all felt, delightedly, as if we were living in an English +novel--one of "The Duchess'" for choice. + +"You know we're going to have private theatricals in the ballroom," +Mazie told everybody. "The girls and men in the house will all be in +it, so we can have rehearsals any time. And papa is going to have a +stage built with footlights and a curtain. We'll ask everyone, of +course, and dance afterwards. I bought the favours for the german in +New York coming home, you know. They're simply too sweet for any use." + +("I baought the favuhs foh the juhman in New Yawhk, yuh knaow. Theah +simply too sweet foh any use," was the way she said it, but I shall +not attempt to reproduce Mazie's speech. It had a kind of drawling +vivacity; and the final sentence was in the slang of the day--very +fresh and spirited it sounded then, too!) + +Mazie Pallinder was not a pretty girl; she was too tall and lank; +and, except when she got her cheeks touched up, too pallid with +her ink-black hair. But she had a certain air of lazy distinction, +helped out by a real talent for dressing herself, and an unlimited +purse--maybe an unlimited indifference to bills and tradesmen would be +a better way of putting it. + +"The first thing on the programme is to be 'William Tell,'" she said. +"That's to have just men in it, you know. I think it's always best to +have a lot more men than girls, and make them stand around. That's the +way it is in the South, New Orleans, or Charleston, or anywhere I've +ever been. You see them lined up all around the room waiting a chance, +at dances, you know. All the girls have to split every waltz." + +Bewildering dream of bliss! Somebody, recovering from the +contemplation, wanted to know what "William Tell" would be like with +only men in it? + +"Oh, I've talked that all over with J. B." said Mazie. "It was his +suggestion, you know. They gave it at college, his senior year, and, of +course, all the parts were done by men. He said it was simply great. +It's a take-off of the real 'William Tell.' What do you think? Doctor +Vardaman asked if it was the real 'Tell,' and he said there was a +beautiful _adagio_ for the horn in the overture! I simply screamed--I +laughed till I nearly fell over. You see the funny thing is there _is_ +a horn--but it's a dinner horn! Archie Lewis comes on with it when he +sings his topical song. Archie's to be 'Tell,' you know. He's got a hit +on everyone in town--they'll all be here in the audience, of course. It +begins: + + + "'I'm a horny--horny--horny-handed + SON OF TOIL! + From Maine to California + You couldn't find a hornier, + And--and--I'm---- + + +I can't remember the rest of it. He and J. B. wrote the verses--it's +awfully funny, don't you think, Muriel? We've seen them go over parts +of it." + +"Yes," said Muriel tepidly. We all looked at her with some curiosity; +lying back in one of Mazie's profuse rocking-chairs, she seemed very +large by contrast with the rest of us. She had long round arms, long +sloping thighs, long hands and feet, a great deal bigger than any of +ours, but well-shaped, in so just a proportion one hardly noticed +their size. I think I never saw so beautiful a woman. Beside her large +classic calm, we were as a tribe of little gesticulating marionettes. +She listened to our facile laughter, our high, excited voices, with +a grave and rather wondering tolerance; no one ever saw _her_ laugh. +We decided it was a pose with her, thinking she was conscious, very +likely, that outright mirth or any other visible emotion would somehow +become her ill. You cannot imagine the Bartholdi Liberty laughing. Such +regularity of features, such steadfast, intrepid eyes had Muriel; and +so did she oppose to passing people and events, silence and an unmoved +brow. I give the idea that she was dull; it was not so. She thought as +much and as much to the point as any of us; she only lacked our fevered +sprightliness. + +Mazie went on expounding: "Teddy Johns is to be Mrs. Gessler, and +Gwynne Peters is Mrs. Tell, or Matilda, I forget which, and J. B.'s +young 'Tell.' In the play his name's _Jemmy_, of all things I do think +that's the funniest--Jemmy! J. B. said when they found that in the +libretto, they said it would be a shame to change it. I believe in the +original opera, a girl always sings the part. J. B.'s all the time +wanting someone to hear him speak his piece, or give him a drink of +water--things like that, you know, as if he were about four years old. +And he gets lost and says to the policeman that he's Jemmy Tell--I +don't know why you want to laugh, but it's so silly you can't help +it. He must be six-feet-two if he's an inch, and he's going to wear a +little white piqué kilt to his knees with a sash and short socks and +ankle-ties, and a red apple fastened on his head kind of skew-wow over +one ear, with an elastic under his chin. Simply too funny for any use!" + +"I don't see how he can do it," said Muriel. "Fancy! A kilt! I think +it's horrid!" She spoke with unexpected energy; the lovely English rose +in her cheeks suddenly deepened. Every other girl in the room wondered +what it was that had waked her up; and Mazie, who was manicuring her +nails (she introduced that art among us), paused with the polisher +suspended, and gave her friend an acute fleeting glance. + +"I don't believe J. B. minds, or he wouldn't get himself up that way," +she remarked airily. "We can stand it if he can. He's got an awfully +good figure. After all, the kilt isn't much different from a Roman +costume--like what John McCullough wears in 'Virginius,' you know. +J. B.'s on to his own good points; he's not going to make a guy of +himself--catch a man doing that. 'Tell's' sort of comic opera, and do +you know, girls, honestly, I can't see but that it's every bit as good +as 'Olivette'--you haven't seen that yet. They'll have it out here by +next winter, I suppose; it's always a year before things get West from +New York. We thought we'd have the other play afterwards--they aren't +either of them long. That will give all the men a chance to get into +their dress-clothes before the dancing begins. Teddy and J. B. are both +in the second one, too. It's called 'Mrs. Tankerville's Tiara." + +"Where did you get it? Public Library?" + +"Oh, gracious, no. I shouldn't have known what to ask for, you know; +why, there've been millions and _millions_ of plays written--did you +know that? Just _millions_! No, Doctor Vardaman lent me the book; I +went down to the house and looked over ever so many with him. You +ought to see the doctor's library; I'd never been in it before; I +believe where we've got one book, he has twenty at the very least. They +go all around the room in shelves with the busts of people on top, +Shakespeare, I suppose, and--and--well, Shakespeare, you know, and +men like that. And he has funny old stuffed birds sitting up between +the busts. You wouldn't think that would be pretty, would you, just +books, and mothy old birds, and no curtains at the windows; it isn't +a bit stylish, but somehow it looks like Doctor Vardaman. Well, we +looked at the greatest pile of books of plays, and I told the doctor +I thought we oughtn't to attempt anything but farce, so that we'd +be sure of entertaining people. But he said if we really meant to be +funny, we'd better be serious; he'd guarantee everybody would be much +more entertained. Doctor Vardaman does say such queer things--you +never know whether he's laughing at you, or with you. But he's lovely +about hearing us rehearse (he's seen it on the stage, you know), and +suggesting _business_--that's when you have to stand in a corner and +make believe to be doing something when it isn't your turn to talk. +Isn't it funny you never see actors standing still, and looking stumped +for something to do? They're always walking around, or they've got +something in their hands to fuss with, or----" + +"Well, that's _business_, isn't it?" + +"Yes, but I don't see why they can't sit still just the way we are +now--but if they did, it probably wouldn't look right on the stage. +Only how do they think up all the things they do? _Business_ is a lot +harder than talking, anyhow. Muriel's the leading lady, she's got an +awfully long part. J. B. has to make love to her, you know, and when +the butler steals the diamonds, and they think Muriel did it, he goes +right away and proposes to her, to show that _he_ trusts her anyway----" + +"I don't like all that spoony part," said Muriel, colouring painfully. + +"He don't either, I guess," said Kitty. "Men don't like being made to +look ridiculous." + +Kitty was undoubtedly a cat, but---- "You're in the play, too, aren't +you, Miss Oldham?" Muriel asked her. + +"Yes. I'm Mrs. Tankerville's maid. I've only got about two words to +say." + +"Oh!" said Muriel in her pleasant low voice. "Oh!" That was all. But +she had got even, to our surprise. I believe we all liked her the +better for it. + +"We'll all have to copy out our parts," continued Mazie rather hastily. +"It's comedy, except where Mrs. Tankerville's diamonds are stolen; +Teddy Johns is 'Jenks,' the butler; in the last act he's shot, while +he's hiding behind a screen, and then they find the diamonds on +him, and it all comes out right, of course. And oh, girls, it opens +with a ballroom scene, and we'll all have to be dressed up to the +nines--wouldn't mamma be raging if she heard me say that--she thinks +slang's simply _awful_!" + +"Was that slang?" asked honest Muriel, opening her eyes. "It doesn't +seem to have any sense. But then one doesn't notice it, because so much +of your talk is like that, in the States!" + +"Never mind, you'll learn as you go along," said Kitty encouragingly. +"It may take a good while, but you're bound to learn _some_ time. +Everyone gets used to our slang in the end, even the very slowest ones!" + +Mazie again intervened to shunt the conversation on a safer track; +she kept on with the question of dress for the forthcoming dramatic +performance; and as there were a good many changes for everybody, the +scene being laid in the present day, before long she had us all in +smooth water once more. Mazie was her mother's own daughter, deft as a +juggler among the uncertain knives and balls of social favour; she was +fully awake to the difficulties of managing that most unmanageable of +bodies, a set of amateur actors. But during the fortnight or so that +"William Tell" and "Mrs. Tankerville's Tiara" were in preparation, she +and Mrs. Pallinder must have been taxed to the utmost, adroit as they +were, to keep things going smoothly, or indeed, going at all. Teddy +Johns, who was somewhat given to hyperbole, or, as he himself would +have said, to "tall talk," once confided to me that he had a feeling +we were "all dancing on top of a volcano--like the What-d'ye-call-'ems +over the Thingumbob, you know," he said, gloomily. "I've read about 'em +somewhere. Lucky if it don't go off under us!" It _did_ go off, after a +fashion, but not quite as Teddy had expected. + +Teddy Johns displayed more real talent--to call his small gift by a +very large name--for the stage than any of us. He was not a clever +young man--he had one lamentable failing; but he could control his +sallow, solemn face, and ungainly body into expressions and attitudes +that would have won laughter from stocks and stones. When Archie Lewis +in his character of "Tell" came tearing across the stage, clamouring +wildly in the highest style of high tragedy, "Me che-ild, me che-ild! +Must I spank me own che-ild?" Teddy could say, "Do Tell!" in an +accent of vacuous astonishment that reduced one to helpless and I +suppose perfectly senseless merriment. Teddy was our sheet-anchor. +Unquestionably without him the whole thing would be a "fizzle." + + + + +CHAPTER TWELVE + + +About this time all the papers were giving considerable attention +in the columns which they headed variously: "Social Doings," "Among +the Four Hundred,"--a phrase just then coming into notoriety,--"The +Society Calendar," etc., to Mrs. Pallinder's house-party. That lady +herself, her establishment, her clothes, her diamonds had provided us +with gossip, as I have endeavoured to show, for the past two years. +But if we were inured to Mrs. Pallinder, Miss Muriel Ponsonby-Baxter +was something new. Everyone entertained for her; it was a matter of +pride with us to give our English girl-visitor an unapproachably "good +time," to prove to her how much the best country in this best of all +possible worlds America was for the young, well-born, well-mannered, +good-looking, and happy--ourselves, in short. Not one of us had the +slightest acquaintance with English society; but we were confident +our own was immeasurably better. Twenty-five years ago, it must be +remembered, there was a chillier feeling between the two countries; +and, of course, our provincialism accented it. The eagle ramped upon +his perch; the lion suffered a deal of tail-twisting; hands across +the sea were not quite so fervent in their clasp then as now. Our +demagogues flung about dark hints concerning the machinations of +the "Cobden Club." American protectionists, American free-traders +bellowed themselves purple in the face from the stump in defence +of their several creeds, and strangely enough, found in England +equally an awful example, and a beacon-light of progress! The last, +for obvious reasons, was a very unpopular view; in those Arcadian +days the main diversion of a certain class of our politicians was +the ferocious baiting of perfidious Albion. The Oriental-war scares, +the race-problems, the anti-trust, and anti-railroad agitations of +to-day must cause these amiable jingoes--a name, by the way, which +they never heard--to turn in their graves. Bless thee, Bottom, how +art thou translated! In that year, the Pendleton Civil-Service Reform +Bill was the most important measure before the two Houses; and "to the +victors belong the spoils," was the cry most frequently raised against +it. That admirable argument, at once so condensed and so forcible, +what respectable person would dare to utter it to-day? Blaine was +alive; Tilden was alive; Ben Butler was governor of Massachusetts, +he of fragrant memory, house-cleaner of New Orleans, promulgator of +Regulation 19--or was it 29? Iram indeed is gone with all his rose, and +Ben and all the rest along with him; and we have ceased, at a woeful +expense, to be provincial. We were not bothering our heads _then_, +about tropical canals and the Philippines--oh, all-but-forgotten Golden +Age! + +We were not always certain what sort of impression we were making on +Muriel; and, however eager we might have been to find out, there are +some questions any girl would go to the scaffold rather than ask. But +I know that on one point we were intolerably vain; perhaps that vanity +was the most honest, creditable, endearing quality we possessed; and +something of the same feeling stirs me even now. Where, where on this +globe, we asked ourselves triumphantly, would Muriel find anything to +match the ready deference, the kind, half-humorous, wholly charming +devotion of the American man to his womankind? Indeed, it was plain +to see she was unused to this Sir Walter Raleigh attitude; she was as +much puzzled as pleased by it. I think we were somewhat disposed to +patronise her; and Kitty Oldham declared openly she didn't believe Miss +Baxter had ever had an offer in her life. She was an exceptionally +handsome girl; she must have had a far wider social experience than +ours; but, for all that, and in spite of her size and the splendid +unconscious ease of her bearing, we detected in her a curious timidity. +It suited her. Had she attempted to imitate the brisk, fearless, +autocratic American girl, she would have been merely a big hoyden. +There was, after all, something sweet in her naïve tactlessness, her +awkward conscientious efforts at adapting herself to ways she could +not understand, and perhaps at heart, did not really like. To one of +us, at least, the association was not without profit. I used to feel +that someone ought in conscience to explain Mrs. Botlisch to Muriel, +to apologise for that really terrible old woman; the irritating thing +was that Muriel accepted her without comment, exactly as she accepted +the rest of us--as if, I thought with annoyance, we were all freaks +together! "Mazie's grandmother is not--well--er--she's not at all--you +know?" I said, feeling, notwithstanding this public-spirited effort, a +little embarrassed under Muriel's direct, serious gaze. "Mrs. Botlisch +is--well, she's really not--er--very good style, nobody else here is +like her--you must have noticed it. She's awfully _common_--of course, +we didn't know much about the Pallinders before they came here--nobody +knows how they--they got _in_, you see----" + +"I shouldn't think you'd come to the house so much if you feel that +way," said Muriel. "I wouldn't." + +She did not mean it as a rebuke; she was only saying, as usual, +precisely what she thought. But all at once, with the uncompromising +harshness of youth, I saw and denounced myself inwardly for a petty +groundling, eating people's bread with a covert sneer, and parading +their shortcomings before a stranger. No, Muriel would not have done +it. _Noblesse oblige!_ + +The Pallinders, to their honour be it said, never seemed to be ashamed +of Mrs. Botlisch. They had their notions of _noblesse oblige_, too, +strange as that may sound. Reflecting upon it now, I see certain +a heroism in the respect they paid that dreadful, screeching, +vile-tongued old termagant. I have known prosperous, reputable +families, who paid the butcher and thought it a sin to play cards, +wherein the unornamental older members were not treated with one-half +the consideration these kind-hearted, conscienceless outlaws bestowed +on Mrs. Botlisch. She was a fat harridan of seventy with a blotched red +face, a great, coarse, husky voice like a man's and thick hands, the +nails bitten down to the quick. She liked to go about without corsets +or shoes in a shapeless gaberdine she called a double-gown--not too +clean at that. She kept a bottle of whisky on her mantelpiece; she +had a disconcerting habit of whisking out her teeth and laying them +down wherever she chanced to be; you might come upon them grinning +amongst Mazie's music on the piano, or under the sofa-cushions. She +frankly enjoyed a loose story, and made a point of telling them in +mixed companies of young people. She alternately bullied the servants +and gossiped with them in the kitchen; once I most inopportunely +happened upon Mrs. Botlisch engaged in a battle-royal with one of the +chambermaids over some trifle--a broken dish, perhaps--in the pantry. +Fortunately, I could not understand one word they uttered; and after +a little, Mrs. Pallinder came, looking quite grey over her handsome +resolute face, and took her mother away still shrieking hideous abuse. +"Ma is so eccentric," she said to me afterwards, with a ghastly smile; +and some feeling, of mingled horror and compassion, withheld me from +reporting the wretched scene. In most households, these undesirable +parents can be thrust, gently or not, into the background; in fact, +very many parents retire thither of their own accord. But Mrs. Botlisch +was not of that type. + +"I like to set in the parlour an' see the young folks," she said. +"Mirandy she don't want me to, but I says to her, 'Mirandy,' says I, +'don't you worry. I'm goin' ter keep my uppers an' lowers in, 'less +I git a fish-bone er a hunk o' meat under the plate at dinner, an' I +ain't a-goin' to no bed till I git sleepy,' says I. She says, 'Ma, I'm +afraid you won't be comf'ble with your--you know--on all evenin'.'" +(Here she gave J. B. a poke in the side and dropped her left eyelid). +"'Lord love you, don't set there lookin' so innercent like you'd +never saw a woman undress in yer life--don't come that over _me_, +young feller. She says, 'Ma, I'm afraid you'll feel kinder tight an' +uncomf'ble with 'em on all evenin' 'long as you ain't used to wearin' +'em much in the daytime,' she says. 'Land!' says I. 'Mirandy,' I ain't +squoze inter my cloze by main stren'th the way Mazie is. 'F I feel +uncomf'ble, I'll just undo the bottom buttons of my basque an' I'll be +all right, you see.'" + +And there she sat, true to her word, creaking in her black silk and +bugles (with the bottom buttons undone!), perspiring greasily over her +fat red face; and shouting rough, humorous, and frequently shrewd +criticism at our amateurs during rehearsal until midnight, when we +went out to the dining-room for oysters, egg-nogg, and the too lavish +entertainment of Colonel Pallinder's sideboard. The first time this +occurred Teddy Johns retreated precipitately from the table, and, being +sought, was discovered at last, pallidly reclining on the library +lounge. + +"I'm all right, old man," he said feebly. "Just a minute, please. I +couldn't stand seeing old Mrs. Botlisch wallop down those oysters, +that's all." + +There lies before me now a square of rough paper (designedly rough), +with jagged edges (designedly jagged), tinted in water colours an +elegant cloudy blue, with a butterfly, or some such insect, painted +in one corner, and a slit diagonally opposite through which we stuck +a single rosebud, as I remember. Slanting across the sheet in loose +gilt lettering I read "Programme," and a date beneath. This confection +represented days of effort and ingenuity on the part of those young +ladies among my contemporaries who painted china, or were otherwise +"artistic." Some of them took the "Art Amateur," at a ruinous +expenditure; that publication has long since gone the way of all flesh +and most print, in company, it would appear, with the amateurs for whom +it was destined. Nobody is either "artistic" or amateurish any more. We +did the jagging with a meat-saw, I believe--what a spectacle for our +accomplished posterity! + +If I reverse the sheet, I find upon the other side, in a correct +angular hand (it may well be my own, for angularity was much the +fashion in those days; and the inartistic ones let what aid they could +to the task of programme-making), I find, I say, the + + + CAST OF CHARACTERS + + WILLIAM TELL, + + An Opera in Two Acts. + + William Tell Mr. Archer Baldwin Lewis + Arnold von Winkelreid Mr. James Hathaway + Walter Furst Mr. Julian Todd + Melcthal Mr. Appleton Wingate + Gessler Mr. James Smith + Rudolph Mr. John Porter + Ruodi Mr. Joseph Randall McHenry + Leuthold Mr. Henry Barnes Smith + Matilda Mr. Gwynne Peters + Mrs. Tell Mr. Oliver Hunt + Mrs. Gessler Mr. Theodore E. Johns + Jemmy, Tell's son Mr. Junius Brutus Breckinridge Taylor + Chorus of Peasants, Knights, Pages, + Ladies, Hunters, Soldiers, etc. Mr. Robert Carson + + Scene: The Schactenthal Waterfall. + + +The uninformed might very well inquire, as did Doctor Vardaman, +what under Heaven Arnold von Winkelreid was doing in this +_galère_? He appeared among the other historical personages with a +baseball-catcher's padded guard tied about his chest, and stuck full of +enormous arrows; at one time or another every young man in the cast, +including Jimmie Hathaway himself, was overheard laboriously explaining +to Muriel that it was "all just nonsense, you know; of course +Winkelreid didn't have anything to do with Tell--but there was an +Arnold in the cast of the real opera--and then there was that funny old +piece about Arnold von Winkelreid in McGuffey's Reader, you know: 'Make +way for liberty, he cried, make way for liberty, and died!' and he +somehow seemed to fit in pretty well with the rest of the foolishness. +They had thought of having Casabianca, too, but gave it up," and so on +and so on. + +"Don't pay any attention to their excuses, Miss Baxter," said the +doctor fiercely, yet shaking with laughter. "It's all miserable +horse-play--vandalism--desecration. 'Guillaume Tell' is a beautiful +opera, the creation of a great musical genius. I've seen Sonntag and +Lablache in it; it ought to be sacred from these barbarians--you hear +me, boys, barbarians!" He menaced them with a closed fist; and they +went on shamelessly: + + + _Gessler_ (_in a loud voice_)--Who are these fellows? + + _Rudolph_--My lord, these are Swiss. + + _Gessler_ (_louder, pointing to Tell_)--Who's that fellow with the + freckles? + + _Rudolph_--My lord, that is a dotted Swiss. + + _Gessler_ (_louder still_)--Take away that dashed Swiss! + + _Rudolph_--My lord, I said _dotted_. + + _Gessler_ (_very loud_)--Well, I said _dashed_---- + + +It took little enough to make us laugh, for we thought all that very +funny indeed. And an interesting point might be made of the fact that +"William Tell," whether the men had greater abilities, or easier parts, +or from whatever reason, was, as a whole, far and away superior to the +play in which the girls appeared. Doctor Vardaman, for all his old-time +gallantry, betrayed his preference more than once; but it sometimes +seemed to me as if the old gentleman took a malign satisfaction +in viewing our performances, theatrical and otherwise, as one who +should stand by and observe the antics of so many apes with an amused +detachment. + +"Of course, of course, I enjoy the comedy. Don't you want me to enjoy +the comedy?" he said when I taxed him, and eyed me sidelong with his +discomfiting grin. The doctor was a queer old man; not the least +evidence of his queerness was the interest he displayed in our affairs. +He watched us drill for "William Tell" and "Mrs. Tankerville's Tiara," +day by day, appearing to find therein unfailing entertainment. To be +sure he had little else to do; he had long retired from practice, +and, as he said of himself, was the weak-minded victim of his own +whims. With all his oddities, we were fond of him; and his advice +and suggestions were a real help to such of us as took ourselves and +our parts seriously. The stage was one of his many hobbies; he had +collected a huge library of books relating to it; had seen all of the +celebrated actors of his day and known not a few of them; and could +recall Laura Keane in the very rôle which Muriel was now essaying. + +"Do you remember what she wore, Doctor?" Mazie asked him, +characteristically enough, by the way. + +"White gauze, I think," said the old gentleman, considering. "Yes, it +was white gauze, and a touch of green about it somewhere." + +"Huh! Touch o' green was a fig-leaf, I s'pose--hope so, anyhow!" +said Mrs. Botlisch, and "wallopped" down another oyster. She _was_ a +terrible old woman. + +"I don't know what we'd do without you, doctor," said Mazie +precipitately. "You know so much about it--what we ought to do, I mean, +and how the whole thing ought to go. It's ever so kind of you----" + +"Not at all--the kindness is on your side," said the doctor. He glanced +about with a smile in which there lurked a whimsical melancholy. "I +don't aspire to the post of guide, philosopher, and fr----" + +"Talkin' o' guides," old Mrs. Botlisch interrupted him. "Ever hear +that story 'bout the English feller that went aroun' Niagry Falls with +a guide, out to Table Rock an' Goat Island, and down under th' Falls +an' everywheres, an' when they got through, he took an' wrote in th' +visitors' book, 'Why am I like Desdemona?' That's th' white girl that +married a nigger in one o' these here plays, you know. He took an' +wrote, 'Why am I like Desdemona? Becuz----'" + +"Ahem!" interrupted Doctor Vardaman, with extraordinary vehemence. "You +were asking me for the address of the man that sells make-up boxes, one +of you the other day. I meant to bring it with me to-night, but forgot. +Any time you want, you can stop at my house, and in case I'm out, ask +Huddesley, I left it with him. It's Kryzowski--bowski--wowski--some +such unpronounceable Russian name, and his shop is somewhere on Sixth +Avenue, I think, but I can't exactly remember." + +All of which speech the doctor delivered in a rapid and vigorous +outburst of words, not pausing until he was quite out of breath; and +even then he had the air of one skirting by a hair's-breadth some +desperate verge. + +"I'll stop in to-morrow," said J. B. "Huddesley isn't likely to get +mixed up about it, is he?" + +"Huddesley? Oh, no, trust _him_. Besides I'll leave it written down. +But Huddesley is perfectly reliable--a remarkable man, that--never had +a such a servant is my house--he's really unusual." + +"Snake in th' grass--don't tell _me_!" Mrs. Botlisch grunted. She had +taken a bitter prejudice against the doctor's man-servant; partly, no +doubt, because although he was a good deal about the house, coming +and going on the doctor's errands, he had managed to avoid both her +bullying and her patronage. There is nothing more offensive than +the servant whose manners are better than our own. And Huddesley's +manners were perfect in his degree; he was English, we supposed from +the short fragment of his history we had heard, and had not been long +enough abroad to lose the insular standard of domestic service, and the +insular traditions of class. + +"Huddesley'll get spoiled if you don't look out, Doctor," Colonel +Pallinder warned him. "None of my affair, of course, but, pardon me, +too much notice and perhaps too much pay----" + +"I know some of 'em that ain't sufferin' from _that_ anyhow!" growled +the old woman pointedly. + +"I believe ma thinks we ought to give all these lazy darkies as much as +we spend on ourselves," said Mrs. Pallinder with an indulgent laugh. +"As if they weren't eating us out of house and home already! But +William's right, doctor, Huddesley will be spoiled if we're not all +more careful. A white servant can't stand petting and familiarity the +way black ones do; sooner or later he'll presume on it. Did you know +that all these boys have been going down to your house to get Huddesley +to hear them their parts?" + +"It's my fault, I began it," J. B. explained, reddening. "I said to Ted +that if he wanted to know how an English butler behaved he'd better +get a few pointers from Huddesley. Huddesley'd make an ideal 'Jenks,' +you know, as far as looks go, I mean. He's the real thing in butlers. +And it's funny, he's got ever so many good ideas about _business_, you +know, and all that. But we won't do it any more if you'd rather not, +Doctor." + +"Pooh, you can't spoil a man like that," the doctor said. "Reverence +for class is born in 'em; it runs in the blood. That's what I admire +about these English servants--their perfect self-respect, and idea of +the dignity of their own position, without presuming on yours." + +"It's awfully convenient having him to prompt anyhow," said Mazie, who +needed a great deal of prompting. "Nobody wants to sit and hold an old +prompt-book and watch for mistakes. What bothers me is all those funny +little pairs of letters '_r.u._' and '_cross over_' and '_sits right_' +scattered all through your speech like hiccups. I don't know what +_r.u._ means, anyhow." + +"Huddesley says it means _retire up_--walk toward the back of the +stage, you know." + +"Well, but I thought you oughtn't _ever_ to turn your back on the +audience." + +"Depends on yer figger, I guess," said Mrs. Botlisch. "Some girl's +backs and fronts ain't no different--they're flat both sides like a +paper doll!" + +"Huddesley has aspirations," said Doctor Vardaman briskly. "I +discovered that some time ago. At first I thought he wanted to +study medicine; he used to be forever poking about my little room, +pretending to dust and arrange the bottles, and asking all manner of +questions. But since this business of your plays has come up, he's been +tremendously interested in them. The fellow has some education, you +know. I've found him two or three times reading in my library, with the +feather duster under his arm--perfectly absorbed. He was very mortified +the first time I caught him at it, and humbly begged my pardon. 'Hi +can't resist a book, sir, sometimes,' he said. 'Hi wouldn't wish to be +thought to presoom, but Hi've tastes hother than my lot can gratify; +and Hi've 'ad 'opes--but,' says he, with a sigh, 'that's hall hover and +gone, now.'" + +"Kind of stagey, wasn't he?" + +"Yes, of course, he must have got that out of some book. Once in a +while, he uses very fine language, indeed, and then I know he's been +reading. I said, 'Well, Huddesley, it's a pity, if feeling that way, +you can't raise yourself as high as you choose here in America.' I only +said it to draw him out, you know. He shook his head mournfully. 'No, +sir,' says he, 'Hi won't never be anything but a butler--a servant +pourin' out wine an' blackin' boots for the rich and light-'earted +like yourself, sir.' I asked him what he would like to be if he could +begin over again. 'A hactor, sir,' said he respectfully. 'Hi feel the +stirrin' of Hart within my buzzom.' 'That's where we commonly feel 'em, +Huddesley,' says I. 'Hi don't mean 'eart, sir, beggin' your parding, Hi +mean Hart--with a Hay, sir--that's what Hi feel, but they'll never 'ave +no houtlet, sir, Hi'm a butler--the die is cast----' and then I escaped +into the garden to laugh." + +"That isn't all funny--it's pathetic too," said J. B. thoughtfully. +"Poor devil!" + +At least two people in the room looked at the young man with a quicker +interest--Doctor Vardaman and Muriel, the doctor with an odd and +pleased surprise in his keen quizzical face. As for Muriel, she and J. +B. looked at one another pretty often, as I remember. Mrs. Botlisch +raised her hard old features from a close inspection of her empty, +swept and scraped platter, and fixed the doctor with a little twinkling +porcine eye. + +"How long you had him anyway, Doc.?" + +"Three months, or so, I believe." + +"Oh, no, it's not that long, Doctor," exclaimed Mazie. "I remember +Huddesley came after the holidays, just as I was starting to +Washington. That was a little after the Charity Ball. I put off going +so as not to miss it. I remember about Huddesley because you had just +got rid of that awful man that had d.t's and came up here with an axe +wanting to kill somebody." + +"Huddesley's arrival raised the tone of our neighbourhood appreciably," +said the doctor, with a laugh. Doctor Vardaman's men were a byword +in the community. Men of every colour and nationality had drifted +through his hands; it was a long procession of lazy, drunken, thieving +rascality, or honesty so abysmally stupid and incompetent as to be +equally worthless. "I'll never let him go, now I've got him," said the +old gentleman. "I have a fellow-feeling for all you ladies that keep +house. Rather than lose him, I'd give him everything I own even unto +the half of my substance." + +"He'll git more'n that 'fore he's through with ye," said Mrs. Botlisch. +"You young Taylor feller,"--she always called J. B. and in fact all the +young men that frequented the house, by the last name--"you'd better +git that bottle o' rye away from Johns. He's had about enough, 'f _I'm_ +any jedge--an' I reckon I'd oughter be, all th' drunks I've handled----" + +"Pioneer times, pioneer times," said the colonel, hastily. "Er--um--the +ice to Mr. Johns, Sam." + +"When Mirandy's pa useter came home loaded," pursued the old woman, +unmoved, "many's the time I've shet him in th' woodshed, him hollerin' +bloody murder--'Let him holler!' says I. Time mornin' come I'd git him +under th' pump--oh my, yes, I've had lots of experience." + +"Pioneer times," said Colonel Pallinder again desperately. (But J. B. +_did_ take the bottle away from Teddy's neighbourhood.) "Pioneer days! +Good God, gentlemen, when I think of what men and women had to contend +with then, I'm ashamed, yes, ashamed of the luxuries we live in. You +were saying, Doctor----" + +"About--ahem--oh--ah--yes, about Huddesley," said the doctor, who had +not been saying anything. "I can't always make the fellow out--I'm +rather puzzled----" + +"Speakin' o' puzzles," said old Mrs. Botlisch, "I was goin' to tell +ye that one 'bout th' English feller that the guide was takin' 'roun' +Niagry Falls. After they had gone down under th' Falls, an' out to +Goat Island, and everywheres else, ye know, he took an' wrote in th' +visitors' book, 'Why am I like Desdemona?' (That's the white girl that +goes off with a nigger in th' play, ye know). He wrote just that: 'Why +am I like Desdemona?' Th' answer is: 'Becuz----'" + +This time, in spite of an outburst of coughing that threatened +serious results to Doctor Vardaman, in spite of a fusillade of loud +irrelevant talk from the colonel, in spite even of Teddy Johns' quite +unintentionally falling over a chair, this time, I say, we all heard +the answer! + + + + +CHAPTER THIRTEEN + + +Not long since I had a visit from Gwynne Peters' oldest boy. The +little fellow is twelve, and, as I abstained from any embarrassing and +inconvenient demonstrations of affection or even friendship, we became +quite intimate, and I believe he enjoyed himself after a fashion. He +is not like his father, neither so delicate in body, nor so gentle +and winning as I remember the elder Gwynne--but, in truth, I do not +know if I ever found the way to his heart, with all my diplomacy; +the unconquerable barrier of age divided us; childhood looks with so +solidly-rooted a suspicion on our efforts to approach it; it guards +its quaint jungles, its enchanted gardens with so jealous a care +that we may well despair of ever touching hands. And for that matter +I sometimes think we are all strangers more or less to the end, and +our nearest intimacy only a painful interchange of signals in a +fog. Little Gwynne tolerated me, and I soon ceased to ask anything +else. He approved of cookies and the works of Mr. Alger; as these +latter immortal productions do not form a part of my library, we were +obliged to call upon the Carnegie one a few squares distant, whence +he requisitioned them at the rate of a new Alger volume about every +twenty-four hours until the supply was exhausted, when we began on +Mr. Henty. This fell out very luckily, as I had discovered him asleep +in a corner over "Ivanhoe," and I should not have wished him to carry +away so unfavourable an impression of my resources in the way of +entertainment. But what I most observed in him was an indifference to, +or ignorance of, his family history and traditions that seemed abnormal +in a Gwynne, however remotely descended. I asked him if he had ever +been to see his great-grandfather's portrait in the State-House? The +moment was ill-chosen, as he was profoundly occupied with a new variety +of top, but he absently answered: "Yep." + +"What did you think of it?" + +"Nothin'," said this renegade, with astounding callousness, bending +himself to the top; it was warranted to spin five minutes at a stretch, +and when he had got it started, and was timing it by my watch, he +felt his mind released from cares enough to volunteer indulgently: +"Father's got a big photograph of it in his office. It's all yellow and +fly-specky, because it's so old, you know. I guess it's 'most as old as +father--or maybe _you_." + +"Doesn't your father ever tell you about him--what a great man he was, +and all?" + +"Nope." + +"What!" said I, then, unable to believe my ears. "Doesn't he ever talk +to you about Governor Gwynne? Doesn't anybody ever tell you to remember +that you're a Gwynne?" The top was reeling to its fall, and he was very +busy, and, as I could see, justifiably annoyed at my persistence, but +this question caused him to look up sharply with the quick suspicion of +his twelve years. + +"Aw, you're in fun!" he said, eying me shrewdly. "Father wouldn't talk +guff like that! And anyway my name's Peters--Gwynne's just my given +name--so it wouldn't be true, see?" Guff like that! These were his +sacrilegious words. Nothing could have more stingingly brought home +to me the lapse of years, or better illustrated the changes in men's +minds. And I might here insert some valuable reflections on the vanity +of human achievement, and the hollow and transitory character of fame, +if I were not uneasily conscious that Governor Gwynne's renown, even in +his heyday, was not of a kind to fill the four corners of the universe; +it was only in the opinion of his family that it reached those +magnificent proportions. Now he and his deeds are forgotten, even by +them; the fires are all dead on that fantastic altar which the Gwynnes +tended for so many years with so much misplaced zeal. It is not likely, +I think, that little Gwynne will ever be troubled by the problems +confronting his father in March of the year of Grace, 1883. + +In fact, during this time, Gwynne might have been seen any day +pondering gloomily before his empty desk, under his grandfather's +grimly searching scrutiny, by the hour. The Pallinder business had +reached a stage when he could no longer ignore it; yet he could not +bring himself to any active measures. Gwynne knew as much as anybody +about the colonel's affairs; he had heard certain subdued but very +disagreeable rumours. Templeton himself had brought them to him months +earlier with a countenance of fright and perplexity. It had not cleared +much when he left the office; the little agent could not understand +what ailed his patron. He had never known Gwynne to be so indifferent, +so careless of the rights and feelings of the other heirs; it was +clean out of his character, and Templeton felt with dismay that his +surest prop had been removed. If Mr. Peters was becoming as queer +as the rest of them, Templeton was almost ready to resign from the +management of the Gwynne estate; single-handed, he could not "hold up +his end," as he phrased it. In the years of their association he had +conceived something like a real affection for the young man, and this +change obscurely alarmed and distressed him. Gwynne, about everything +else so open, so resourceful, so patient in the control of his +difficult kindred, so genially shrewd, would not allow any discussion +of the Pallinder delinquency; he shifted the subject, or turned upon +Templeton with a manner of such forbidding reticence that the agent +shrank discomfited. "Oh, well, Mr. Peters, I--I guess I'd better leave +you alone to run your tenants and the family," he would say humbly, +reaching for his hat in an apologetic confusion. "I--I ain't ever made +such a success of it that I've any call to argue, or advise _you_ how +to do," and so would shuffle meekly from the room, leaving the young +man, had he known it, in a miserable humiliation. Time and again, +Gwynne had made the resolve to have it out with the colonel; and time +and again had turned aside from the act, like a hunter refusing the +leap. He bargained with himself, loathing his own weakness; he would +go and see Colonel Pallinder on such a day at such an hour; he would +say to him thus and so. The day came and the hour--why was it that +something invariably prevented him? Once he even got so far as the +door of Colonel Pallinder's office--and it was locked. The office +was closed for the day: it was late Saturday afternoon, and in his +heart Gwynne knew the office would be closed--knew it before he left +his own. He turned away in a flash of angry contempt of himself--of +Pallinder--of the whole shabby business. Yet the colonel was safe +for that day; you cannot scour the town for a man, like a bailiff; +and Gwynne certainly was not going to follow him to the house, and +dun him under the very roof where he himself had received so many +hospitalities, such unfailing courtesy and kindness, within hearing of +the fellow's innocent wife and daughter! What had Mrs.--ahem!--what had +those two poor women done? Very likely they knew nothing whatever about +Pallinder's indebtedness; they were both of them touchingly ignorant +of money matters. This was strictly an affair for men--he would see +Pallinder Monday. And so Gwynne strode away home, to dinner and a +change of dress, and thence, by the most natural sequence in the world, +to the Lexington and Amherst cars, and out to the Pallinders'! In one +of his spasms of conscience he had refused their urgent invitation +to the house party--the irony of his position was apparent, even to +him; but he balanced the scales by going out night after night to the +rehearsals of "William Tell," wherein he bore his part with a feverish +enthusiasm that surprised his friends. + +It might have been noticed, but, as a matter of fact, I am sure hardly +anybody did notice, that Gwynne was the only one of the family who +figured in the theatricals, or, in the pungent everyday phrase, had +anything to do with the Pallinders. Marian Lawrence had been asked to +the house party, and had eagerly promised to come, but in a day or so +Mrs. Pallinder received a charming, apologetic, and graceful little +note from Mrs. Lawrence, declining on Marian's behalf, for some vague +reason. The truth is, Mrs. Horace Gwynne, on hearing of the plan, had +once again ordered out her barouche and driven over to the Lawrences', +upright and stern, with the stark face of Doom. And after a heated +conference with the mother, the note had been despatched; Mrs. Lawrence +sat down and cried heartily with the disappointed girl when that dire +act had been performed--but neither of them thought of disobeying +Cousin Jennie. When they met Mrs. Pallinder face to face coming out +of church next Sunday morning they were both a good deal flustered; +they flinched before Mrs. Pallinder's steadily radiant smile, and were +devoutly glad, I think, to escape from her neighbourhood into the +crowd. Archie Lewis walked home with Marian, and raised his hat as a +carriage spun by--"That was the Pallinders with Miss Baxter," said +Archie, observing with a passing surprise that his companion made no +sign of recognition. "Was it? I didn't see them," said Marian stoutly, +looking straight in front of her with very red cheeks. Not so long +before, Mazie had been one of her most intimate friends. Look on that +picture, and now on this! What was the matter with all the Gwynnes? +Little old Eleanor and little old Mollie, on seeing the colonel less +than half a square off, advancing upon them, already uncovered, +courtly, bland, with outstretched hand--the two old sisters, I say, +fairly took to their heels up a side street, with scared and shrinking +faces. They gathered up their virgin skirts and fled shudderingly as +from contamination. Mrs. Horace Gwynne, alone of them all, possessed +the courage of her convictions. Erect in her barouche, she encountered +and returned Mrs. Pallinder's smile with a salute so casual, so +perfunctory that it suggested the recognition she would have bestowed +upon her cook in event of a public meeting with that functionary. +Mrs. Pallinder bit her lips; she reddened through her rouge--and the +next moment was gaily bowing to another acquaintance as if life meant +nothing to her but this pleasant exchange of civilities. "Of course I +never would deliberately _cut_ anybody," Mrs. Horace explained later; +"that sort of behaviour is childish and ill-tempered. But I flatter +myself I know as well as anyone how to put people in their proper +place, and intimate my opinion of them, without talking or acting like +a washerwoman. I wanted Mrs. Pallinder to understand that while I was +absolutely indifferent to such a matter as the back-rent she owed me +and every one of us, I did not approve of the _principle_ of the thing. +She knew perfectly well what I meant. And at receptions or wherever +she happened to be in the same company with me afterwards, I simply +didn't see her at all! I was always talking to someone else, or had my +back turned. She understood--a _person_ like that!" I dare say Mrs. +Pallinder did understand; she was not without some previous experience, +and it is likely deserved every snub and stab which Mrs. Horace, with +the just severity of a good and upright woman, inflicted on her. So +must we all lie upon the beds we make. + +This was the secret of the Gwynnes' altered demeanour; it was, of +course, not the failure to pay them their rent to which they objected, +but the appalling _principle_, or lack of principle, it indicated. At +least, that is what they all and severally declared afterwards. At the +time, with characteristic Gwynne reticence, they kept their troubles to +themselves; no set of conspiring revolutionists could have been more +close-mouthed. Their behaviour in this instance was of a piece with +the futile pride that prompted their efforts to distract the public +mind from Caroline--from Steven--from Sam Peters. What! Drag their +noble name through the mud and riot of a Common Pleas suit? Associate +their house and the memory of Governor Gwynne with a debasing scandal +about Money! I should not care to reveal the arts by which Gwynne put +off the hour of retribution for the Pallinders, playing upon these +familiar strings with a skill he himself despised. Even he, in the +end, sounded the note once too often, as we have seen in the case +of old Steven, to whom the sum, small as it was, meant more than +to the other members of the family. For Steven, once away from the +blandishments of Mrs. Pallinder, naturally reverted in the shortest +possible space of time to his previous mood of brooding indignation. He +had parted from Doctor Vardaman with a confused notion that everything +was going smoothly--that Gwynne would settle with the Pallinders in +a few days--a week, perhaps, at furthest. It had not been stated in +so many words; none the less Steven carried away these ideas planted +within him either by Mrs. Pallinder's soothing flatteries, or by the +doctor's well-meant efforts at comforting and diverting him. He waited +a day or two, eagerly inspecting every mail; he spoke grandly of his +expected remittances to his tolerant country neighbours, and alluded to +Gwynne with a large air as his man of business. But as the days passed +and his man of business made no sign, Steven's slender allowance of +patience gave out once more. He wrote to Gwynne, and waited a fevered +while for an answer. Wrote again, and with the letter, addressed and +stamped, in his pocket, abandoned his design, and took the first train +for town. It was with a fierce and resolute face that he stalked into +the office that afternoon--and Gwynne had gone out! This delay, to +speak in high metaphorical terms which would have delighted Steven's +own taste, did not arrest the falling of the levin-brand; it only +increased its momentum. In proportion as the moments lapsed, his +wrath gathered head. As it happened, he found himself in appropriate +company, with his grievance; when he entered the room there sat his +cousins, the two Misses Gwynne, with their pale, furtive, startled +faces framed in curls and satin rosettes, in their rigid bombazine +skirts, Miss Gwynne tremblingly clasping an umbrella, Miss Mollie +fingering a foolscap document whereon, if Steven had cared to look, +he might have seen some arithmetical calculations similar to his own. +They started up, fluttering and ejaculating at his appearance; then +sank down disappointed, yet, probably, a little relieved. The two not +only dressed, but thought and acted in couples; either one was helpless +without the other; and both now wore an air of terrified resolution +such as a pair of mice, a pair of pullets might have presented in +some desperate crisis of the trap or butcher's knife. Even in their +day, a day which recognised but one career for respectable women, +which knew not women's colleges or bachelor-maids, or what we call the +professional equality of the sexes, Eleanor and Mollie were caricatures +of spinsterhood; we looked upon them with as much pity as amusement, I +believe. This was a tremendous step for them to take; and horror laid a +throttling hold on both at the idea (occurring to them simultaneously) +that Cousin Steven might think them indiscreet or unladylike. But +Steven was much too preoccupied to spare a thought to their confusion. +"Huh, girls!" said he, sat down in Gwynne's revolving-chair, and +glowered absently out of the window, beating a tattoo on the desk, and +framing the sentences in which he would open his arraignment. "Waiting +to see Gwynne?" he inquired, rousing himself with a momentary curiosity +after a while. + +The twins murmured inarticulately, looking at each other. + +"So'm I," said Steven, scowling, and they might all three have +proceeded to some explanations, but at that moment, upon this amiable +family-group, strolled in Archie Lewis, on some errand from his +father's office, debonair, whistling his song from "William Tell," +and very much taken aback at sight of the company into which he had +stumbled. "It was a perfect nest of Gwynnes," he said, graphically +describing the episode. "I felt like Daniel in the lions' den." + +"Oh--ah--Mr. Gwynne--er--Miss Gwynne----" said he, stopping short in +embarrassment. "Ah--um--Gwynne's gone out, I see." + +"He'll be back in a few minutes," stammered Miss Eleanor, after a +moment of fearful indecision. + +"The office-boy said so," added Miss Mollie faintly. "It's almost +half-an-hour now." + +"Well, I guess I won't wait--if you'll be so kind as to tell him I was +here? And I'll just put this on his desk under the paperweight--he'll +understand when he sees it," said Archie, depositing his bundle of +papers on the desk as he spoke, and very ready to beat a retreat. But +Steven, eying him, suddenly growled out, "You're Judge Lewis' son, +ain't you?" + +"Why, yes--you know my father, of course--I've often heard him speak of +you," said Archie, conventionally, edging off. + +"Sit down," said Steven, imperiously motioning. "Gwynne'll be along in +a little. You ought to be a lawyer, young man--your father's a lawyer. +I haven't seen him for years--I guess he's a good deal changed. Law +kind of changes people; it's seldom a man takes it up and stays honest. +Sit down; Gwynne'll be here presently." + +("And so," said Archie, "I sat down. The fact is, the old fellow looked +sort of queer, and though I never heard of his _doing_ anything, I +didn't much like to leave him alone with those two old ladies--you +never can tell, you know.") + +"I'd like to see the judge," said Steven. + +"Why, I'm sure father'd be very pleased----" + +Steven waved an impatient gesture. "I'm not particular about seeing +_him_," said he--and Archie used to repeat this part of the story in +his father's presence with infinite relish--"But I'd like to have his +_opinion_, in a matter of--a matter of _debt_!" + +The two sisters exchanged a horrified glance; they knew what Steven's +errand was, now, and thought he was about to reveal the awful secret, +and tarnish the name of Gwynne forever. But that was by no means +Steven's intention; he was as tender of the family honour as they, but +much more confident of his own knowledge of the world and diplomatic +abilities. Archie, upon whose youthfully sharp wits none of this +by-play was lost, sat wondering what was to come next. + +"This debt--or--er--this indebtedness," said Steven elaborately, +"is--er--it should be, in short, collected--that is--er--measures +should be taken by which it--could be, in short, collected." He fixed +a profound look on the young man, pausing while he considered in what +other roundabout terms he could present the situation. + +"Is the fellow that owes you responsible--solid, I mean, you know?" +asked Archie, beginning to be interested. "If he's on a salary, or got +a good business you might attach----" + +"I--I--I'm not prepared to state," said Steven, appalled at the +briskness of Archie's deductions. "I'm just supposing a case, you +understand." + +"Oh!" said Archie, suppressing a grin. "Well--ah--are you supposing it +to be a large sum, Mr. Gwynne?" + +"A debt's a debt," said Steven, with magnificent brevity; he could +not resist a sidelong glance at Eleanor and Mollie, commanding their +admiration. + +"Yes, of course, Mr. Gwynne, but there's a difference between a debt of +five dollars and one of five hundred," said Archie peaceably. "If you +can come to some kind of compromise, it's generally a great deal better +than going to law; you may get a little less than you're entitled to, +but you save time and trouble and worry. I suppose I've heard my father +say that to a hundred clients." + +This view appeared to strike Eleanor and Mollie favourably; something +in the half-a-loaf policy appeals with a subtle power to the feminine +mind. But Steven's old face reddened; he darted a vengeful glance at +this Laodicean councillor. + +"Compromise--_nothing_!" he snarled. "I'll see him da--I'll see him +farther before I'll compromise!" + +"All right--all right, I was just saying that's one way of settling +these things," said Archie hastily. "Of course you know what you +want, Mr. Gwynne. Trouble is, you go into court with a case, and you +never know how long it will take to wind it up--maybe two or three +years--that's perfectly irrespective of the rights of the case. +Whereas, if you accept some kind of settlement, you--well, in general, +you come out ahead of the game," said Archie, falling back on the +vernacular. + +Oh, wise young judge! The two Misses Gwynne listened to Archie's +exposition with respectful awe. I have heard him say with a laugh that +at no time in his subsequent career--which has been one of considerable +distinction--has he ever felt himself to be exerting so much influence, +no, not in his most sustained and vigorous flights of oratory. "I might +have been the Almighty, instead of a smart-Alecky boy, by the way those +two poor old women were impressed--it was funny--funny and pitiful," +he says, and shakes his grizzling head. + +"It's--it's very awful to have someone in debt to you, Mr. Lewis," Miss +Mollie took courage to say falteringly. + +"Not so bad as being in debt to somebody yourself, though," said +Archie genially. This well-intended levity was a serious mistake; they +shrank--they withered before the dreadful suggestion. + +"We--we aren't _that_, Mr. Lewis," cried both old maids in scared +chorus. "It's not we that are in debt--it's somebody that owes us----" + +"That owes the GWYNNE ESTATE," said Steven ponderously. He had forgot +all about his supposititious case, and Archie, who, as he himself might +have said, was not born yesterday, had already made a shrewd guess as +to the identity of the debtor. + +"A debt's a bad business, anyway you fix it," he said easily. "Reminds +me of that story father tells of himself when he was a boy borrowing +money of their old coloured man to go to the circus with. 'Chile,' says +old Mose, 'you's got to 'member this; er debt that ain't paid stahts er +_roorback_! You owe me, an' I owe Pete, an' Pete he owes that wall-eyed +niggah oveh at the liv'ry-stable, an' lakly Mistah Walleye, _he_ owes +somebody else, an' 'twell one of us stahts the payin', nobuddy cyahn't +pay--an' thar's your _roorback_!'" Archie laughed. He laughed alone, +for this sprightly tale, although he had recited it in a careful +imitation of Judge Lewis' best manner, apparently failed to amuse +anybody but himself. Perhaps it went too near the truth to be wholly +agreeable. "I never realised until that moment," he used to say with a +certain naïveté, "what an awful job poor Gwynne Peters had for years +with those people. I'll bet nobody knows or ever will know what he put +up with!" + +His new sympathy put a greater warmth into his greeting when Gwynne +at last came in, a few minutes later. Archie, as he explained his +errand, noted inwardly that his friend's face was drawn and tired; nor +did he wonder much at the grim look Gwynne cast around the waiting +family-circle. + +"You're late, Gwynne," said old Steven, fierce-eyed under his shaggy +brows. + +"I know it," said Gwynne, in a harsh voice. "I had to go out to the +country this morning, and that put me back with everything." + +"You mean to the house? You've been out to the house?" Steven asked +eagerly. "You've talked to Pall----?" + +Gwynne looked at him steadily. "No, I haven't. I've been out to see +Sam. Will you please let me have my chair, Cousin Steven? I want to +make a note of this for Judge Lewis." + +"It's no matter," said Archie hurriedly, anxious to escape as much on +the Gwynnes' account as on his own. ("I was afraid they were in for a +regular family-row and I wanted to get out," he said. "Why, you might +have known something was wrong with Gwynne, by his coming out about Sam +that way. That was the first time I ever knew him to do anything like +that!") "Never mind, Gwynne--father said you could keep them as long as +you wanted. I'll stop in some other time. You're--you're busy now." + +"I wish you'd stay, Arch," said Gwynne desperately. The others sat in +a ghastly silence, even the old man. He got up and surrendered the +chair to Gwynne without a word. The sisters hardly dared look at each +other, in the trepidation produced by the mere mention of Sam's name. +Thus carelessly or rashly to flaunt Sam in the public view, and invite +attention to him seemed to them nothing less than a profane assault on +the temple of the Gwynne reputation--that edifice propped and shored +through so many years by what profitless sacrifices, what wrong-headed +devotion, what pitiful and heroic subterfuge! At this rate Gwynne might +say something about his Aunt Caroline, they thought in quaking panic. +The veil of the sanctum was rent in twain--what would he do or say next? + +He did nothing; and after Archie had taken his leave, it was Eleanor +who quavered, frightened, yet with a real sympathy for him stirring at +her elderly maiden heart: "Is anything the matter, Gwynne? With--with +Sam, I mean?" + +"Yes, Dr. Sheckard sent for me. They think he'll have to be taken +away--sent to some other place. He's--well, restless, you know." + +"That'll take money, Gwynne," said Steven abruptly. Now that Archie's +restraining presence had been removed, he was eager to get to the +business in hand, and designed by one or two tactful remarks of this +nature to lead up to it. Eleanor and Mollie shrank a little; they were +genuinely and self-forgetfully interested in their unfortunate kinsman. + +"I'll manage it, somehow," said Gwynne briefly. He put aside his +domestic tragedy without much effort; to the observant mind the +facility with which we get used to our lives is the one great everyday +miracle. Let them visit us with what trials they will, we defeat the +gods by our submission. Gwynne addressed himself to the task of the +moment with no further thought of Sam. "You wanted to see me about +something, Cousin Eleanor?" he asked, foreseeing drearily what the +answer would be. But in spite of all their preparation, the direct +question startled them; the neat and perfectly ladylike speeches in +which Eleanor and Mollie had coached each other for days vanished from +their minds--from their one mind, I might almost say. They looked at +him with stricken faces. "There is something you wanted to see me +about, Cousin Mollie?" repeated Gwynne--and could have cried "For +shame!" at the forbidding coldness of his own voice. + +"Oh, Gwynne," said Miss Mollie, trembling a good deal, and thrusting +her paper at him. "I--we--Eleanor and I don't want you to think that +we are unappreciative, or--or that we've any fault to find with the +way you've managed our property--you've done everything you could, +we _know_ that, Gwynne, and you're always so good to us." Her voice +broke, but she went on resolutely. "But I--we don't know whether +you've noticed anything lately, or whether any of the others have told +you--you're so busy--and we know a woman oughtn't to interfere, or ask +questions about her money, Gwynne--and--and we oughtn't to come to your +office, we _know_ that--it's no place for a lady--but we're--we're so +worried, we couldn't help it. You don't mind our being here, do you? +We thought at first we'd write, only it takes so much longer----" here +poor Miss Mollie broke down completely and began to cry in a noiseless +and unimpeachably ladylike manner into her black-bordered handkerchief. +Miss Eleanor took up the thread, having conquered her own tears: + +"We thought perhaps you didn't know, Gwynne, if Mr. Templeton hadn't +told you, but the Pallinders--that is, Colonel Pallinder, you know, +they haven't paid us any rent for our house for over a year--it's on +the paper, we added it up--I know it's right, because we did it by long +division, and then multiplied to make sure--and it's a hundred and +twenty dollars they're owing us, Gwynne, and--and we thought you'd do +something, if you knew----" + +"Well, you needn't worry--he _won't_!" said Steven, savagely satirical. +Both handkerchiefs were going now; but the two old maids scarcely heard +Steven; they regarded Gwynne with a heart-breaking confidence. + +"Why--yes--I knew about this, Cousin Eleanor," the young man began, +with a wretched feeling of humbug. "The only thing about commencing +proceedings to recover--bringing suit, you know--is the--the +publicity--you might have to appear in court and testify--and it would +all be in the papers, like a--a scandal----" + +"Oh, scandal--bosh!" cried Steven wrathfully. Eleanor and Mollie were +looking at Gwynne with affrighted eyes over their handkerchiefs; but +Steven's masculine mind, even if none of the strongest, could not in +nature be always wrought upon so easily. These arguments were old to +him and their effect was dulled. "Scandal! There's no scandal about +going to law to get your money!" he said impatiently, and with justice. +"And as for publicity, you could fix all that, if you wanted to, +Gwynne, you know it. They could--they could make oath before a notary, +couldn't they?" + +"We--we wouldn't have to do anything, if he could just get us a +_little_ of it--the--the way Mr. Lewis said, you know, Mollie," Eleanor +faltered. + +"Arch? Did you tell him about this?" Gwynne asked, disturbed. + +"No harm if we had," said Steven, contentiously. But Mollie looked +at Gwynne in dread. "No, no--we didn't say a thing--we didn't say a +word, Gwynne--but he just happened to say that debts were sometimes +compromised--you took some, not all, you know, but you didn't have any +lawsuit----" + +"If we could get a little----" said Eleanor anxiously. + +"A _little_! That's like a woman!" said Steven in strong disgust. "A +_little_! Don't you pay any attention to 'em, Gwynne!" + +"Do you need money, Cousin Eleanor?" asked Gwynne gently. + +Mollie began to cry hysterically again. + +"We don't want you to advance any, Gwynne," said old Eleanor, trembling +and turning very pale. "You've done that before, and--and now you will +need all your money for poor Sam. And--and besides, Gwynne, I--I--we're +not fit to be trusted with money--I--I was going to tell you, only it's +so hard--but we're--we're--we've been very wicked women!" She burst +out sobbing. Gwynne might have smiled at this lurid statement from two +such timid, plaintive and abjectly respectable old maiden ladies if the +circumstances had left him any heart for smiling. + +"Why, what's the matter, Cousin Eleanor?--don't cry that way!" he said, +distressed. "It's not your fault, you know. Now I promise you I'll see +about it--I'll get your money for you--these things are bound to take a +little time, you know----" + +"Huh! You said that before--you've said it a dozen times!" said Steven. +He looked at Gwynne with open suspicion. "Will you come with me over to +Pallinder's office now?" + +"No, no, don't do that; wait till I've told him everything, +Steven--wait a minute Gwynne!" cried Eleanor, laying her damp hands and +handkerchief on the young man's arm. "Gwynne!" she said tragically, +"it's quite true--we're wicked, wicked women! We took--Mollie and I +took all our money--it was that thousand dollars that we got when +Cousin Lucien died, you know, that we'd always put away to use if we +were sick--or, or got married--or anything, and some besides that we'd +saved up--it was last year--and we thought the rent would be coming +in all the time, and we counted on that--you know we were quite sure, +Gwynne, or we wouldn't have done it--and--and--we'd heard about so many +people making money in stocks--Caleb Spicer--that's the vegetable-man +we've taken from for ever so long, and I _know_ Caleb's honest--he +told us about his brother-in-law--only Caleb didn't tell us about +_this_ stock, Gwynne, it wasn't Caleb's fault at all, I wouldn't have +you think that--his brother-in-law's stock was some other kind, I +don't remember what now. And we--we bought some stock, Gwynne--it was +'Phosphate'--a mine, or was it a well, Sister Mollie? We--we've never +had any money, Gwynne, I mean much, you know--and we--we've had to save +so, and go without a girl and all--and make our own clothes--and we +did so want to have a little more--and we thought it would get to be +worth double or treble in the least little while, the way those things +do--the way Caleb's brother-in-law's did--and besides Colonel Pallinder +said it would----" + +"_What!_" said Gwynne. He got up. His face blanched; the likeness to +old Samuel Gwynne leaped out upon his features so strong, so lowering, +that Eleanor and Mollie involuntarily drew back, appalled. They +supposed the confession had angered him. "We didn't know anything about +it, Gwynne," they both began. "We didn't know--we didn't mean to do +anything wrong!" + +"You didn't do anything wrong," said Gwynne, with an effort. "Go on. +What has happened?" + +"It was all my fault, Gwynne," said Eleanor, generously. "I put it into +Mollie's head--it was my fault, all of it." + +"It doesn't make any difference about that, Nellie," said Mollie. +"I was just as much to blame--you couldn't have done it without +me. We--we've found out a terrible thing about 'Phosphate,' +Gwynne--it's--it's not going to double at all. We thought we'd get some +money right away, and we didn't--and then we waited--and we didn't get +any--and we were afraid to ask Colonel Pallinder, for fear it would +look as if--as if--we didn't believe in him--don't, Gwynne, don't +look that way! And then at last we went down to the Third National +where our money used to be; we got Mary to go with us, because we were +afraid to go by ourselves, and besides it's not ladylike; she knows +your friend, Mr. Taylor, that great big tall young man that's in there +back in the brass-wired-off place, you know, Gwynne. And Mary wasn't +a bit afraid; she just asked for him, and he came out and took the +paper--it's a certificate, isn't it?--and looked at it, and then went +back into the president's room, and we heard some men laughing, Gwynne. +And then Mr. McAlpine himself came out after a while, and he came up +and said he knew we'd believe him, because of his being president, and +he was sorry to have to tell us, but that stock wasn't worth the paper +it was printed on, and he wanted to know whose advice we had acted +on in buying it. So he and Mary and Mr. Taylor and you are the only +people that know anything about it, Gwynne, and--and--if it don't go +any farther than that, it won't--it won't be a disgrace to you or the +family," said poor old Mollie with tears. + +Gwynne looked at them helplessly. That these two shy, fearsome, frugal, +penny-wise old gentlewomen could have ventured their all upon one +reckless stake like the worst and wildest gambler that ever tossed his +last dollar on the cloth, was well-nigh inconceivable--but the thing +had happened! It was not merely unexpected, it was impossible--and +it had happened! If he had been asked to name the members of his +family who might most safely be trusted to hoard and watch over their +lean inheritance, he would have pitched upon Eleanor and Mollie; he +would have supposed them impregnable behind their barrier of timorous +ignorance, entrenched forever in the habit of grinding economy--and lo, +that very childish inexperience, that thriftless parsimony, had been +their undoing! + +"Well, but whose advice _did_ you take?" he asked. "You surely asked +_somebody_ besides Caleb What's-his-name? Why didn't you come to me--or +Cousin Jennie?" + +"But Jennie wouldn't have let us do it, you know," said Eleanor, with +entire simplicity. "There wouldn't have been any use asking _her_. And +we were so _sure_--we thought Colonel Pallinder's advice was enough--we +knew you wouldn't go to the house so much if you didn't think he +was to be trusted--you wouldn't go where anybody was dishonourable. +But I don't believe he _is_ honourable, Gwynne; of course, he's had +misfortunes with 'Phosphate' like ourselves, but if he were really +honourable, he'd pay our rent." + +The young man was silenced; anger and shame surged together within him. +The most expert of fencers could not have pricked him closer home than +Eleanor with her simple earnestness of belief. Their faith blackened +him in his own eyes; their affection stung; their tremulous apologies +scourged. + +"Never mind, Cousin Mollie--don't cry--I'll take care of you," he said, +huskily, at last. "Now let me get a carriage and send you home--and +don't worry about your money, nor the rent--I'll get it back for you +some way or another----" + +Mollie and Eleanor cried harder than ever; mingled with their ghastly +visions of ultimate destitution, and much more concretely awful, had +been the fear of what Gwynne would say, of what he would think when he +heard the shameful news. Their tears comforted them; and I dare say +that many a real sinner has touched thus the utter depth, and found +there a like unexpected peace. + +"Oh, Gwynne, you're so good to us--and with poor Sam on your mind all +the time, too--but you never think about yourself at all!" + +Gwynne almost smiled. Sam? What care had he given to Sam or Sam's +interests of late? And of whom had he been thinking, if not solely of +himself? + +"Now promise me you won't worry," he said, urgently kind. "I'll fix it +all right----" + +"You've been saying that a good while to _me_, and nothing's come of +it so far," said Steven distrustfully. "Hope you ain't forgetting that +it's Sam's money, too, you've been letting go all this year and a half?" + +"I'm not forgetting it, Cousin Steven," said Gwynne, turning his +haggard eyes on the other. "I won't forget Sam." + +After they had gone, Gwynne went back to the office and sat a long +while with his set face staring at that other face on the wall, under +whose shadow he had lived his whole life, without, as it would seem, +profiting much by the association. There he sat--and I think we may +very well refrain from spying on him. Doubtless he did full justice +upon Gwynne Peters that spring afternoon, alone with his condemning +thoughts; doubtless every selfish lie, every mean evasion rose up and +confronted him; doubtless he took himself to task more sternly than +he deserved, and fancied he sat, a broken man, amongst the ruins of a +dishonoured life. Hardly, I am sure, at his present age, can Gwynne +look back upon that hour with an equal mind; when it recurs to him, the +taste of his folly must yet be bitter on his tongue. He is to-day a +successful man, greatly liked, greatly respected. Mrs. Gwynne Peters, +I believe, is a very happy wife and mother, not at all jealous, and +having no cause to be. But has Gwynne ever mentioned Mrs. Pallinder +to her? He might do so without a blush, but he probably feels that it +would be an unprofitable business; let the old ashes lie, and let the +lost corners grow up with weeds and be forgot. Wives and husbands, +if they be wise, will not go prospecting in the remote places of +each other's hearts, lest they chance upon some of these disquieting +ruins--ugly little cairns, decrepit old tombstones. The days were +lengthening, yet it was twilight as Gwynne walked home; street-lamps +burned dimly through the foggy spring air, and the newsboys were crying +the last edition. + + + + +CHAPTER FOURTEEN + + +Doctor Vardaman was not a wealthy man; he occupied what he considered +the golden mean, the "neither poverty nor riches" of the Preacher; +enough to live in a simple, uncalculating ease. His chief pastime, +as he used to describe it with some amusement, was the practising +of certain small economies whereby he accumulated enough to indulge +himself once in a while with an expensive new edition, or rare and +equally high-priced old one. Like most professional men, he had no +turn for affairs, and no temptation ever assailed him to "take a +flyer in Phosphate," or anything else. It was, therefore, without +any idea of investment that he scaled the stairs leading to Colonel +Pallinder's office a few days after the Misses Gwynne had visited +Gwynne's to explain their operations in finance. He was, in fact, +bent on an errand that took him past the colonel's door, and into the +rear of the Turner Building, where the City Superintendent of Parks +and Gardens had a retiring, little, unfrequented room. The doctor +wanted to file objections against the setting up of several monumental +bill-boards and advertising signs on the vacant lots along the west +side of Richmond Avenue, facing number 201. "As a physician in good +standing, sir," he expounded vigorously, yet not without a smile, to +the City Superintendent, who was an old acquaintance and ex-patient. "I +dislike to be confronted every time I open my front door with 'Geary's +Purple Pills' for various disorders not commonly referred to in polite +society. And as a patriotic citizen, I don't want to see our town +disfigured by any such monstrosities!" + +Coming away with his point half gained, he once more passed Colonel +Pallinder's office door. At that time the Turner Building was at the +very core of our business district. There was a bank on the ground +floor, the old Third National--J. B. had some position in it, assistant +bookkeeper, perhaps. One used to catch fleeting glimpses of the young +fellow's big shoulders in shirt-sleeves, and sleek, dark head on an +altitudinous stool behind gilt wire screens, through the plate-glass +windows on the Market Street side. On his last visit he told me that +he had gone down Market Street and walked past those old windows in +a sentimental mood, recalling the brave days when he was twenty-one. +"I got sixty a month," he said, "and thought I was doing first-rate! +It's hard to believe that that old rookery was the best office +building in town. We hadn't the beginnings of an idea about fire-proof +construction; but there was an elevator, and the bank had a floor of +black and red tiles, remember? The passages were so dim the gas had +to be kept burning at noon-day. The steam-heating apparatus must have +been one of the first put in; anyway it never did very well, and was +forever breaking down. I've worked in my overcoat many a time, with a +blue nose, figuring away with my stiff fingers. Harvey Smith--you know, +Jim's brother--had a law-office with some other young chap, I've forgot +who, now, on the third floor, and they set up a sheet-iron cannon-stove +to keep from freezing to death. There wasn't much business coming +Harvey's way in those days--we used to wonder how he made out." + +That part of town is now given over to warehouses and junk-shops. The +dirty, draughty hallways of the Turner Building are very empty and +melancholy. They used to be handsomely carpeted with cocoa-matting, and +in the odd corners one came upon little pyramids of tin spittoons piled +up handily by the janitor, either just washed or in need of washing. +The place was as busy as an anthill that morning when Doctor Vardaman +paced along the cocoa-paths on his way out. Near the top of the +stairs--which were generally preferred to the elevator--he encountered +Colonel Pallinder ushering from his office somebody with a shawl and +bonnet and fat black umbrella, whose outlines in the semi-obscurity +appeared vaguely familiar to the old gentleman's casual glance. + +"Is that you, Doctor? Come in, come in, sir," said the colonel, +promptly relinquishing his client ("In point of fact, he dropped her +like a hot potato," the doctor said afterwards), when he saw who was +approaching. And, overriding the doctor's demurrer, "Oh, nonsense, +I say come _in_, sir! Why, we've got a little business together, +forgot that, hey?" He smote Doctor Vardaman a light, humorous, +affectionate blow on the shoulder and pushed him into the office. +"I don't want to interrupt you----" the doctor began, accepting at +last the handsome leather chair his host pulled forward. He glanced +about curiously, rolling the colonel's excellent Havana between +his fingers. The Pallinders possessed the secret of a delightful +spontaneous and whole-souled hospitality; the stranger within their +gates was unaffectedly welcome to the best they had--and the best +they had was very good indeed; self-denial was a virtue they never +needed to practise, apparently. The atmosphere of their house was +always kind, gay, care-free, and they themselves highly ornamental. +Colonel Pallinder bustled about the doctor with a dozen pleasant little +attentions, yet contrived somehow never to be officious. It is a +strange thing, and a depressing instance of the inborn tendency to evil +of the human race, that it has been within the experience of everyone +of us, I think, to lodge with and suffer the kindnesses of many +virtuous families to whom the name and the habits of the Pallinders +would be anathema--and we shrink from remembering how incredibly we +were bored thereby! + +The office was a rich, comfortable place. Everything was new; the +colonel's mahogany roll-top desk, the leather lounge, which, Doctor +Vardaman noted inwardly, had the air of being pretty constantly in +use, the brilliantly glazed maps of "Phosphate" territory gleaming on +the walls. A great accumulation of mail loaded the desk; the colonel's +correspondence was evidently something colossal. There were numberless +pamphlets, circulars, prospectuses, and newspaper clippings with +rows of figures accompanied by at least half-a-dozen ciphers printed +conspicuously at the top. "_The ARKANSAS CONSOLIDATED PHOSPHATE, COAL, +AND IRON COMPANY, CAPITAL AND SURPLUS $4,455,000.00._" "_EL PASO & +RIO GRANDE EXTENSION_ is the _BEST ZINC STOCK_ on the market at the +price. _EL PASO MINES_ have paid over $172,000,000.00 in dividends. We +strongly recommend this _STOCK for INVESTMENT_. Ballard & Co., Wall +St., N. Y. William Pallinder, Agt." Doctor Vardaman surveyed these +and like documents with a kind of satirical interest. "Of course," he +used to explain, "I had had more than a suspicion for a good while +that 'Phosphate' and 'Zinc' and the colonel's capitalist friends were +all more or less mythical. You can't be as intimate as I was with a +man like that for two years and not 'get a line on him,' as the boys +say. And then there was Steven and that terrific flare-up he had with +Gwynne about the rent in my own library. Latterly I had begun to have a +pretty well-defined notion that Pallinder was in a tight place--getting +near the end of his rope in our town, at least. Along in the fall +sometime he had borrowed fifty dollars of me on some pretext; and I +not unnaturally supposed that he wanted to corner me into lending him +another fifty, or maybe thought that with my hazy ideas about business +he might make a sale of 'Phosphate.' I was a good deal interested to +see how he would go about it; I'd quite made up my mind not to do +either, you know--lend him the fifty, or buy any stock, I mean." + +What then was the doctor's astonishment when Colonel Pallinder +impressively brought out an elegant dark green Russia-leather purse and +card-case combined, with "W. B. P." intertwined in a gold monogram on +one side, and from a thick layer of greenbacked bills therein selected +a fifty-dollar one and laid it on the old gentleman's knee! Doctor +Vardaman stared at it as if it had been a specimen from the flora of +another planet. + +"Now, now, now, no objections! I _insist_," said the colonel, rather +unnecessarily in view of the doctor's dumb surprise. "It's a matter +of principle with me, even about such paltry sums as this, that +short settlements make long friends," he continued, conveniently +oblivious of the fact that he had been in the other's debt for this +particular paltry sum more than six months. "Never could understand, +sir, how a man can go on owing and owing people simply because he +knows they're his friends and won't dun him. That's a queer idea of +honesty, seems to me," said the colonel, looking Doctor Vardaman in +the eye with a frank and open smile. "You don't come down this way +very often, Doctor. I suppose you think all this--" he waved his hand +around--"market-place--beasts at Ephesus, hey?" + +"I'm a--I'm a little out of place, I fear," the doctor stammered, still +in a confusion. "I hope I didn't drive your client away." + +Colonel Pallinder threw back his head in hearty amusement. "Oh, Lord, +that wasn't a client, Doctor, that old creature--what was her name now, +MacGonigal, MacGilligan, MacSomething? No, I was trying to get rid +of her as gently as might be without hurting her feelings. For after +all people like that have feelings, you know; they are worthy of some +consideration; hang it, a gentleman has only one kind of manners. I'm +glad she came in while my clerks were all out, and saw me instead of +any of them--you know what Jack-in-office is. Why, sir, you have no +conception of how we are bothered by that kind of person. They watch +the stock market for a while, or get to talking with their friends, +and then the first thing you know they come in here all agog with +their savings--a hundred, two hundred, perhaps three hundred dollars, +wanting to _invest_! It's the hardest thing in the world to make +them understand that we can't handle little dabs like that; they're +twice as much trouble as other people's tens of thousands. Your small +investor is eternally writing and making inquiries about this stock and +that stock, wanting to change, wanting to transfer, wanting to sell, +wanting to buy, wanting to be reassured perpetually at the slightest +fluctuation of the market. 'Do you think my stock is all right? Will +it go any higher? Will it go any lower?' Like as not he sees some +perfectly worthless stuff advertised broadcast and promptly sit down +and writes me, all on fire: 'William Pallinder, Esq., Dear Sir: Would +like your opinion about the enclosed clipping relating to Timbuctoo +and South Pole Railway shares. Hadn't I better take my dime's worth +of Phosphate Preferred and put it into T. &. S. P.? Yours truly, Jack +Ass.' Oh, you may laugh, Doctor, but it's no joke. And then, Doctor +Vardaman, there's another side to it that I never lose sight of," said +the colonel, leaning forward and tapping the old gentleman on the hand +with a grave look. "That, sir, is the question of _moral obligation_. +Take the case of that old woman. 'Why, Mrs. Mac-What's-your-name,' says +I, 'if I understand you, this is all the money you have'--it was four +hundred and odd, I believe--'and you want to put it into Lone Star +common. Now,' says I, 'of course that's a perfectly safe investment, +solid as United States bonds, non-taxable, pays nine per cent., and +will double in value in the natural course of events before another +six months; and what you say is quite true, that you will never have +another opportunity of getting it as low as forty-five'--she was +really a shrewd and intelligent woman for her class, and for a minute +I was almost tempted to let her have her way, for, of course, there +wasn't the slightest risk. 'Now,' said I, 'if you had two or three +thousand or even one thousand to spare, mind you, I say _to spare_, +I should say to you, go ahead, by all means. But,' says I, 'I can't +take the responsibility of letting you invest your last cent this +way, just on my say-so. I've got my own money in it, but my money and +your money are two very different propositions. Go and consult your +lawyer, get the advice of your friends, go to another broker for that +matter, if you choose. All I would urge is, _do it soon_, or you may +lose a great chance, such as don't come along every day.' She was very +reluctant, but I finally persuaded her; she was just going as you came +along. Oh, of course, I know very well, nobody better after all my +experience, that she may have gone straight off to some other broker +as I suggested, and _he'll_ get the commission, not being so--well, so +squeamish as I am, but William Pallinder isn't that--kind, Doctor; we +can't help the way we're made, and I'm--not--that--kind!" + +He spaced the last words out, emphasising them by a gentle blow with a +ruler on the palm of his hand, and leaned back, surveying his companion +through a haze of cigar smoke, with the expression of one who might +have added, were it necessary: "Behold in me a monument of integrity!" + +Doctor Vardaman gazed at the El Paso and Rio Grande circulars with a +new respect. Was it possible, he asked himself, that he ought to revise +his opinion of Pallinder? To be sure, Huddesley had hinted--but what +does a servant's chatter amount to? And then there was that business +of the unpaid rent--but Gwynne had not seemed to take that very +seriously, and surely he should know. As to that flourishing manner of +the colonel's, we are prone to associate it with--well, with buncombe, +in plain words; yet it was, in fact, entirely natural, the direct +result of certain traditions, early environment, and upbringing. He +had reached this point in his reflections, smoking silently, when the +colonel was most unfortunately inspired to remark: + +"I see you're looking at that map of Phosphate territory in Arkansas. +It's a wonderful thing the way the Southwest is opening up, wonderful! +All due to Northern enterprise and vigour, sir, every bit of it. We'd +be nowhere without you. You'll find few men from my section of the +country that will acknowledge it, but it's _so_. I never did believe +in keeping up that spirit of mutual distrust and jealousy--waving the +bloody shirt and all that; let bygones be bygones, I say; let's all +work together for the common good, and give honour where honour is due. +Why, sir, it was a Northern man--Lewis Sheister, from some little town +up in New York State, that discovered and worked the first phosphate +vein in Arkansas. The people down there in the Ozarks were ready to run +him and his men out of there with shotguns when he started in--and now +I guess they bless the day Sheister turned up. He's worth five hundred +thousand dollars to-day, and he's been a factor in enriching that whole +State. Yes, sir, there's millions right here." He rose, and, drawing a +pencil from his waistcoat pocket, defined a small circle on the shining +brittle surface of the map. "Right in that little zone, sir, millions +for anyone, even with a very limited capital--ten for one, sir, ten +for one is what dozens of my clients are drawing at this moment," said +the colonel, pointing with his pencil, like a teacher of mathematics +demonstrating at the blackboard, and eying the doctor profoundly. "Ever +think of investing, Doctor?" he added, indifferently, resuming his +seat, and picking a thread from his coatsleeve as he spoke. + +Alas, the gentleman had protested too much! "You'd find me one of your +troublesome small investors, I am afraid," said the doctor, wishing +uncomfortably that he could believe in Pallinder. "It's rarely a +professional man lays up any money, you know." + +"Oh, you'd be a different pair of shoes," said Colonel Pallinder +genially. "I'd rather handle a couple of hundred for a man like you +than a couple of thousand for some others I could mention. Now I always +contend that stocks such as I deal in are a Heaven-sent boon to the +man of moderate means. Say you only have a hundred or so. You put it +into Ozark Field or--well--yes, you _could_ get half-a-dozen shares of +Lone Star. I know a man, a banker in New York, a personal friend, you +understand, that I think I could persuade into parting with a little +block like that, although they hate to like the devil--but I believe +he'd do it for me. Now these things advance so rapidly that in a month +or six weeks you could sell out to great advantage--if you didn't want +to wait for your dividends, or found the speculation kept you lying +awake o' nights," he interpolated, with jovial sarcasm. "Of course, +Doctor, I hardly need to tell a man of your intelligence and breadth +of view that--um--ah--'there's a tide in the affairs of men,' you +know--the time is coming when nobody but the kings of finance will be +able to buy and control these shares, they're going up so fast; but if +you were already _in_ the _ring_, as I may say----" + +"I doubt if the kings of finance and I would hit it off very well," +said the doctor soberly. Colonel Pallinder laughed uproariously. He +slapped his knees and laughed, and wiped his eyes and laughed again. +Never had the doctor's dry humour received such appreciation; and +not being acutely conscious of having been humorous, he observed the +colonel's manifestations of delight with a good deal of interest. + +"You talk in a rather disparaging vein about the business ability +of professional men, Doctor," he said, when his mirth had somewhat +subsided. "But the fact is, I've met with just as much shrewdness +among them as anywhere else. A successful lawyer, a widely-known and +successful physician like yourself--why, he's _got_ to be very much +above the average in intellect and education both. A man like you +can take hold of anything, no matter whether he's had any previous +experience or not--he can take up anything and do well at it. Now, +look at you! I suppose you've hardly ever been in a broker's office +before in your life, and you come in here, and with scarcely a word +of explanation from me, grasp the whole subject at once! I tell you +what, I'd like you to meet Sheister, and just hear him talk Phosphate +once. He's a self-made man, Doctor, no gentleman-of-the-old-school +such as you, but for that very reason I think you'd find it an +interesting experience. He'll talk by the hour about his early trials +and struggles--it sounds like a romance. He has the whole history +of Phosphate at his finger-ends. Of course _I_ can't talk about the +stuff except in a business way--I only know that it's been a gold mine +for Sheister and the men he got to go in with him. Sir, I knew that +fellow when he hadn't but one shirt in the world, and he didn't know +where his next meal was to come from--and now he's travelling round +in his private car with a valet and a cook! I've done pretty well in +Phosphate myself," said the colonel, with becoming restraint; "but I'm +not a patch on Sheister. Really, I'd like you to see Mrs. Sheister's +diamonds, just for a curiosity. My wife can't bear her--thinks she's +_common_, and all that--you know how women are--but I tell her she's +down on Mrs. Sheister just because she's jealous of her diamonds." + +"Mrs. Pallinder has no cause to be jealous of anybody's diamonds, I +think," said the doctor smoothly. "Our young people will be giving +their entertainment in a few days now," he added, thinking it high time +to change the subject. And the colonel glided away on the new tack as +gracefully as if the manoeuvre had been of his own suggestion. + +"Yes, and what do you think that daughter of mine said to me the +other day? It seems they have to make a great show of jewelry in the +second play--what's the name of it--'Mrs. Tinkleton'? Mazie's '_Mrs. +Tinkleton_,' and she's going to pile on all her own and her mother's +too. So she comes to me: 'Oh, papa, wouldn't it be nice if we could +have a real tiara? We've got to fix ma's necklace to look like one, +but I think those little coronets they have at Tiffany's are just +too utterly sweet.' That's the way the girls and boys talk nowadays, +Doctor, 'too utterly too,' 'too intensely all but,'--can't understand +half the gibberish they're saying; but I grasped the meaning of _that_! +'Why, good heavens, my child,' I said, 'do you think I'm _made_ of +money? There's your mother's necklace cost me thirty-five hundred--the +papers made it five thousand, but you know, Doctor, they always blow +around and talk big--not so very long ago, not more than two years, I +believe, and now _you_ want a tiara.' 'Well, papa, you know you said +ma's necklace was just bought out of that rise in Phosphate, and it was +like getting it for nothing, and you'd never miss the money because +the dividends were so much more than you had expected. Won't something +else take a rise?' And in fact, Doctor," continued Colonel Pallinder, +pulling at his goatee with a ruefully comic grin, "she rather had me +there. It was just as she said, the stock having gone up beyond my +wildest expectations. I realised treble what I'd been looking for, and +I always like to make my wife some little gift when anything of that +sort happens. But a tiara at Tiffany's! I couldn't quite go _that_. +Must you be going? Well, good-bye. When you feel like looking into +Phosphate a little farther, drop in. I've some figures I think would +interest you." + +Doctor Vardaman took his way from the Turner Building, walking fast +in a brown study; such was his preoccupation that twenty steps from +the entrance he collided with a young man carrying a green cloth bag, +weighted with books or papers, heading for the stairs. + +"Hello, Doctor!" he began to apologise. "I didn't know it was you. Why, +it's great to see you down here. Come up and take a look at my office." + +"I've just been up in the building, Harvey," said the old gentleman, +recognising him. "I ought to be home sitting down to my luncheon this +minute. Huddesley would discharge me if I were not on time. I went up +to see Ogden about those signboards on Richmond Avenue." He paused and +then some indefinable feeling prompted him to add: "Fine office Colonel +Pallinder has, hasn't he? The building is certainly very complete and +well-equipped; you ought to have seen the two-story frame shanty where +I first hung out my shingle. It was over a grocery with an outside +stairs leading up to it." + +Young Smith eyed him with a certain apprehension in his keen boyish +face. "Oh, yes, the Turner Building is said to be one of the finest in +the West; but I understand they are going to put up some in Chicago +that'll beat us all hollow. Pallinder's a great friend of yours, isn't +he, Doctor?" + +"We are neighbours, you know," said Doctor Vardaman, diplomatically, +and smiled, meeting the other's eye. "Don't be uneasy. I haven't been +investing." + +"Why--I--I----" Harvey stammered, crimsoning in his confusion, yet +plainly a little relieved. "I just couldn't help wondering if you had, +you know. The Colonel's a great old blatherskite, isn't he? Of course, +I don't mean--that is, I mean----" + +"Harvey, Harvey," said Doctor Vardaman, wagging his head solemnly, +"I'm afraid that's not the way counsel for the defence should open his +remarks." + +"Well, it's _so_, you know, anyhow," said the young fellow ingenuously. +"Jim sees a lot of them; he goes out there all the time. He's in that +shindy they're going to give on the twelfth. Say, have you heard that +about Gwynne Peters?" + +"No, what was it--Oh, here's my car--never mind, Harvey. I don't need +any help." + + + + +CHAPTER FIFTEEN + + +Fate, who, as Doctor Vardaman's favourite classic assures us, calls, +equal-footed, upon carpenters and kings, must surely have laid a +directing hand on the old gentleman's shoulder that morning; not yet +were his adventures over, even when he reached his own door. The +Lexington and Amherst Street car crawled with him laboriously as far +as the corner of Amherst and Richmond, where he must disembark and +trudge the remaining five blocks of board sidewalk to number 201. The +trolley whisks you out there in five minutes now. Not long ago I saw in +somebody's back yard, a back yard of the proletariat, next door to a +tenement, one of these dilapidated old horse-cars, pygmy ancestor of a +race of giants, thrown aside, weather-worn, ancient as the palæolithic +period, serving as a play-house for the proletarian youngsters. The +windows were all out of it, even the purple glass lights overhead; but +you might dimly discern the legend: "No. 5. Lexington and Amherst. No. +5." along its battered sides. The thing was as romantic as a derelict +galleon; sentimental melancholy possessed me as I looked at it; all +my youth rode in that decrepit chariot, if not with comfort, at least +with tolerable satisfaction. Will the rising generation treasure so +picturesque a memory? I think not. In cold weather there was a layer +of straw, doubtful-tinted, breathing strange odours, in the bottom of +it, thoughtfully provided by the street-car company to protect its +patrons' feet. It was lit by two oil lamps, in two niches, fortified by +wire-work, one at either end of the car. These vehicles were banded +about the body with a wide stripe in various colours to distinguish the +various lines, an amazingly ingenious idea if people had only been able +to see after dark, like cats; and, as the spectrum had been exhausted +by the time the builders got around to the Lexington and Amherst line, +they designated these cars, in a creditable burst of originality, by +a sash of black-and-red squares, like the Rob Roy plaid. Immediately +arose some genius with an equally fertile invention and baptised them +"the checker-board cars," a title which they wore to the end. There was +one very steep hill at the foot whereof it was the custom to hitch on +an extra team of mules; I know of no more gallant spectacle than that +furnished by a quadriga of mules nobly breasting Wade Street hill, with +a checker-board car plunging in the rear. When it got off the track, as +not infrequently happened, all the male passengers got out and helped +push it back. We were firmly persuaded that this was rapid transit! Yet +spare your merriment, youth of to-day; impartial Fate is waiting for +your admired institutions, too, your Twentieth Century Flyers, your +automobiles, your seven-league-boots. In twenty-five years, how will +your sons and daughters deride you; with what longing, with what amused +tenderness, will you not look back to these kind, simple days! + +Doctor Vardaman, then, with Destiny stalking viewless at his side, +swung off the checker-board car, and began the homeward walk. Some way +ahead of him he saw a figure diminished by distance, plodding through +his yard toward the kitchen door; and as he drew nearer, two more +figures emerged from his front porch. The doctor recognised Bob Carson, +and in the over-tall, lankily-graceful young woman, Mazie Pallinder, +in an extremely modish tan-coloured cloth coat with dark brown plush +collar and pocket flaps. Mazie's sleeves were about as tight as Bob's +trousers--that is to say, they were as tight as human skill could make +them, or human arms and legs endure. Thus were we clad in the eighties. + +"Oh, hello, Doctor," said Bob, dropping Mazie's hand--I suppose he had +been fastening her glove--and addressing the old gentleman with unusual +vivacity and a notable increase of colour. "Ah--we--we've just been +getting Huddesley to hear us our parts--in 'Mrs. Tankerville,' you +know." + +"I hope you have mastered yours," said Doctor Vardaman, without a +smile. Bob's part, as he and everyone else knew, might have been +omitted altogether without materially damaging the performance; he +was a footman in "Mrs. Tankerville," and his lines were hardly more +than "Yes, sir," and "No, sir," stated at the proper intervals. He got +redder than ever under the doctor's grave survey, and affected to be +busy knocking invisible mud from his boot heel with his cane as they +stood by the gate. Mazie did not blush--for the best of reasons. Her +face was too carefully arranged to permit of it. And, besides, what was +there to blush about? Bob changed colour almost whenever she looked at +him; but then Bob was a quiet and rather shy youth. + +"Huddesley's simply _fine_!" she said with enthusiasm. "I asked him how +he came to know so much about the stage, and he says he was dresser for +an actor once when he was right young, and used to be behind the scenes +a lot. Come home and take lunch with us, won't you, Doctor?" + +"I can't very well to-day. I was just about to ask you to stay here. +Huddesley, you can get us up something, can't you?" + +"Bit of 'am and a glass of porter, sir," said Huddesley deferentially, +holding the door open. "Beg parding, Doctor Vardaman, sir, but Mrs. +Maginnis is 'ere with your wash." + +"I guess we'd better not stop so long's I've got so much company in the +house," said Mazie. "Good-bye, Doctor; you'll come up this evening, +anyway?" And as they walked away, the doctor heard Bob say, "Isn't +Huddesley _immense_, though? 'Bit of 'am and a glass of porter.' Sounds +just like Dickens, don't it?" + +The doctor, still squired by unseen Fortune, went upstairs to his +bedroom--and there, it may be presumed, the goddess left him, having +executed her appointed task. Mrs. Maginnis awaited him, and Huddesley +was already laying the doctor's shirts out of the basket. The laundress +generally performed this rite herself, but to-day she stood watching +the man with an oddly flustered manner, twisting the fringes of her old +shawl between her fingers. Her bonnet, that feathered and beribboned +structure indigenous to washerwomen, had worked askew a little; her +face, with its premature wrinkles, its sunken mouth, was flushed with +exercise or excitement. The doctor, observant as all physicians from +lifelong habit, looked at her in some surprise. It crossed his mind +that at some prehistorically distant time, when Mrs. Maginnis was a +fresh barefoot girl, running the green swards of Connemara, she might +have been pretty; her Irish blue eyes, faded with years, with toil, +with sickness, with care, were quite bright to-day. A kind of tremulous +happiness, an anxious joy, irradiated her; she was like a child to whom +one should have given a new toy, scarcely daring to be glad yet in its +possession. + +"Got change for a fifty-dollar bill, Mrs. Maginnis?" said the old +gentleman jocosely. + +"Yez will have yer joke, now, won't ye, Docthor?" she retorted with +gaiety, and tossed her head with the upstanding plumes in a roguish +manner. "Niver moind. Some day I'll change ut for yez aisy enough. +'Taint much longer I'll be comin' 'round for me dollar and a half, at +all, at all." + +"Has Tim got well? Is he going back to work?" asked the doctor, +beginning to fish for the required sum amongst the loose silver in his +pockets. He spoke of her husband. + +Tim was what Doctor Vardaman called a "non-combatant." To say that +he was a washerwoman's husband describes him. Who ever heard of a +washerwoman with a husband that was worth anything? + +"Naw, it ain't that, Docthor," said Mrs. Maginnis, looking momentarily +a little dashed. "Naw, Tim's awful bad with rheumatics this spring. But +it's meself that's afther ma-akin me fortune in--in stocks. Yez didn't +see me in the Turrner Buildin' th' marrnin'?" + +Doctor Vardaman's hand paused, rigidly suspended over the money spread +on his palm. "What--what's that you say?" he asked abruptly. + +"I was goin' to ask yez to spake a wurrd to me characther wid +Misther--I mane Meejor Pallinder," went on Mrs. Maginnis, happily +unconscious. "But he seemed to be in a hurry, an' says I to meself, +'Betther not worry him, Nora Maginnis. Th' Meejor's thrustin' yez +anyhow, an' ye're thrustin' him an' iverythin's fair an' square an' +aboveboord. 'Taint as if yez were a gurrl goin' to ta-ake a new +pla-ace, ye goose,' says I. So I just held me tongue, an' walked +off. It's a grand gintleman th' Meejor is intoirely," she finished +enthusiastically. + +The doctor looked at her through a mist. "What have you been doing?" +he said at last, striving to speak in his natural voice. He might have +spared the trouble; Mrs. Maginnis was only too proud and pleased at his +interest, at her own importance. + +"Ah, thin, I've been investin'--investin' in stocks--or is it shares, +I dinnaw?" she said eagerly, lifted her skirt, and drew out a paper, +carefully hoarded, from a pocket in her petticoat. She held it toward +him. "I got a letther about thim in th' mail, a printed letther, an' +ut says: 'Dear Madame, we want to call your attintion----' like that +ut begun, Docthor. I can't raymimber th' rest of ut, but yez ought to +hear me little Danny, he's got ut by hearrt. Anyway, I was to call on +or com-communicate with William Pallinder, Turrner Buildin', like what +ut says there. They was iver so many on our sthreet got th' sa--ame, +th' Hogans 'crost th' way, an' th' Schwartzes nixt dure but wan, but +they ain't anybody wint but me, an' th' Meejor says it's a grreat pity, +an' they'll all git left, for they won't be anny more shares or stocks, +whichever ut is, sold so low. An' it's just loike pickin' money off of +trees, he says, yez git tin for wan. That's four thousan' I'll git, +Docthor, for it's four hundred I'm ta-akin out o' th' Buildin' an' +Loan, where we been puttin ut for th' last tin years--an' weary wurrk +ut is, too, savin' so slow, nothin' loike this, where yez just put in +yer money, an' set back an' twiddle yer thumbs! It kapes goin' higher +ivery breath yez draw purty near, th' Meejor says. An' whin I give +him th' money, he wrote off a grand pa-aper, a receipt, he called ut, +an' says he: 'I congrat'late yez, Mrs. Maginnis,' says he. 'It's th' +smarrt woman yez arre, an' plucky, too,' says he. 'Nothin' venture, +nothin' have, yez may have hearrd th' sayin',' he says. 'That's the +way I begun meself,' says he. 'I had just a little, 'twasn't be +half so much as yours, an' I put ut in, an' ut kep' a-goin' up an' +a-goin' up, an' there I was, like a big fool'--that's what he said, +Docthor--'shiverin' an' shakin' an' layin' awake noights, for fear +somethin' would happen to ut, an' whin ut doubled, I fair et up th' +road gittin to th' office to sell out--an' th' very nixt day it was +thribbled already! But I'm all over thim days now,' he says, laughin' +that way he has, 'an' yez can see wid wan eye shut how I live, Mrs. +Maginnis. Well, all that come from that little lump o' money not be +half so big as yours, as I was just afther tellin' yez, an' that's +where yez'll be, too, inside of a year, if yez'll be guided by me,' he +says. Indade, it's th' foine gintleman he is, an' th' koind man, to be +doin' all that for th' loikes of me, an' so I tould him." + +For the second time that day Doctor Vardaman gazed silently at "El Paso +& Rio Grande," "$172,000,000.00 in dividends," until the characters +swam before his eyes. + +"At least you'll want your dollar and a half in the meantime, Mrs. +Maginnis," he said finally with an effort, and counted the money into +her hand. She had on a pair of black worsted gloves, the fingers too +long for her own, crooked, hardened and disfigured with work. She took +the coins clumsily, and some of them dropped and rolled about the floor. + +"Troth, what'll I do whin I'm a la-ady, settin' in me kerridge, wid +kid gloves on, I wondher," she said with a laugh. "I'm that awkward +wid these, I'd betther be learnin', I think. I'm goin' to have Maggie +ta-ake pianny lessons, Docthor, an' I'm goin' to git a pair of va-ases +for th' parlour mantelpiece, an' a wheel chair for Tim. That's what +I'm goin' to do whin th' firrst o' th' money comes in. I made up me +moind to that as I was walkin' along wid yer wash th' marrnin', an' +thin all to oncet, I says to meself. 'An' what'll th' docthor be doin' +for somewan to clear-starch his shirrts th' way he loikes? An' to do +up thim white lawn cravats that's all cut on th' bias, an' sthretches +somethin' awful--thim stocks yez call 'em, Docthor. Faith, there's +stocks an' _stocks_, think o' that, now?" She laughed a little, +hysterically, gulping at her own joke. "Yez wouldn't belave ut, +Docthor, for all I was so happy, I cud ha' set right down an' cried to +think that somewan might git hould o' thim, some naygur, mebbe, that +'ud ruin 'em!" The tears came into her faded blue eyes. "It's th' good +man yez arre, Docthor Varrdaman, an' it's koind yez have been to me +all these harrd years, an' I'll niver forgit ut. Whin I'm settin' in +me parlour, wid th' pitchers an' th' Rogers Group like I mane to have +ut, rockin' in me chair, an' listenin' to Maggie play, I'll be thinkin' +of yez often an' often, Docthor, an' of th' ould days, whin I was +sthrugglin' along at th' tub an' yez helped me." + +Doctor Vardaman mechanically twisted his features into a smile. "I wish +you luck with all my heart, Mrs. Maginnis," was all he could say; but +the Irishwoman was too emotionally wrought up to heed the strangeness +of his manner. Her sky was radiant with dreams. + +"Sure, I kin have thim masses said for me mother--rest her sowl!" she +said, crossing herself fervently; and the next moment, in gleeful +anticipation: "An' buy me a black silk, Docthor, a black silk dhress, +me that hasn't had a new rag to me back for eight years!" + +She went; and Doctor Vardaman sat down before his table. He took out +the colonel's fifty-dollar bill--the colonel's! It was Mrs. Maginnis', +like all the rest of the bills in that handsome Russia-leather case! +The doctor was as sure of it as if it had been sworn to in his +presence. He stared at it miserably. Of course, he told himself, he +had known all along that Pallinder was a humbug, had known in a sort +of way that he was a scamp. But the truth is, you and I, even the +most experienced, even the wisest and worldliest and most wary of us, +knows very little about scamps. The doctor had lived his seventy years +with such vicissitudes as fall to the lot of the ruck of mankind, and +had encountered no greater rascality than that of some patient who +ignored a bill or refused to pay it--an offence which he himself was +the first to excuse or condone. By nature a humane and sympathetic man, +he had learned in his profession a large charity, a habit of making +allowances which he now denounced savagely for a contemptible shirking +of responsibilities. _Laissez faire_, indeed! And one-half the world, +not knowing how the other half lives, need not care! Yes, Pallinder +was a scamp; but Doctor Vardaman found, with a wretched surprise, that +he had had no real comprehension of what the word meant--the thing it +denoted. This was its meaning, this shabby trickery, this cheap deceit; +the discovery came upon him like a blow. There is an extraordinary +bitterness to any generous mind in beholding the uncovered shame of +a friend; we hate to see the feet of clay; the pain is two-edged and +strikes us either way with the sense of his unworthiness, of our own +folly. The doctor had liked Pallinder; liked him still--liked him +and despised him. He sat wondering at his own weakness. "If it had +been me," thought the old gentleman, "if it had been me that he had +cheated, fleeced, bamboozled in this way, or anyone of my class, I +could almost say the game was fair and have my laugh at the dupe; +it's our business to know better. But that poor old woman, that poor, +ignorant, faithful, trusting creature, that honest, simple drudge!" +He thought of her tired, work-worn hands in those pitiful gloves with +a throb of pain and unreasoning self-reproach. Colonel Pallinder's +hands were large, white, and very well-kept; a seal ring in pretty +taste, _simplex munditiis_, adorned his little finger, the only piece +of jewelry he wore. It was paid for, if at all, the doctor reflected +grimly, out of the pocket of some other Mrs. Maginnis. The flavour of +the colonel's cigar was yet on his lips; what washerwoman, what widow, +what patient, laborious wage-earner's little savings had paid for +_that_? He got up and walked the floor restlessly. There was a kind of +irony in the thought that he, John Vardaman, must suffer this travail +of spirit, while the guilty one himself pursued his way unmoved, +tranquil, eating and sleeping in triumphant ease. "After all," said +the doctor inwardly, "am I my brother's keeper? No. But I have sat at +Pallinder's table, smoked with him, drunk with him, laughed with him, +sanctioned and encouraged him. All the while I knew he was a rogue; I +did it open-eyed; I shared the spoil--it's late, late in the day, Jack +Vardaman, for you to cry Fie on the thief! Dozens of others are daily +doing the same thing; why not? The Pallinders amuse them. Of what stuff +are we all made?" His glance fell on the bill again; he picked it up +and smoothed it out mechanically, wondering what had prompted Pallinder +to pay him out of all the people he owed. It was certainly not from any +warm friendship, for Colonel Pallinder liked everybody equally well; +his cordiality, his generosity emulated the very sunshine in their +wide diffusion. If he stole meanly, he gave away magnificently--after +his own desires were indulged. He was quite capable of picking Mrs. +Maginnis' pocket one day, and relieving her distress with coal and +warm blankets the next; and it is more than likely that he would have +paid the first comer, whether Doctor Vardaman or somebody else, if the +matter had occurred to him, and if the sum were not inconveniently +large. + +Huddesley, coming in with the tray of luncheon, was astonished at the +doctor's haggard look; he moved about noiselessly, disposing the dishes +to the old gentleman's liking, and once or twice sending a sharp glance +into his face unobserved. + +"Shall you be going up to Mrs. Pallinder's to dinner this evening, +sir?" he asked at length respectfully. "Miss Pallinder said something +about you----" + +"No," said Doctor Vardaman sternly. "No. I shan't be going there again." + +Huddesley looked at him with singular blankness. "Beg parding, sir, did +you say----?" + +"I said I was not going there again," repeated the doctor with +deliberation. He thought a moment. "I'll write a note and ask the +younger gentleman here to dinner next Friday night, Huddesley, and +you can take it up to Mrs. Pallinder. It's the night of their party; +we shan't see much more of them," said Doctor Vardaman, checking a +sigh. He would not acknowledge to himself how much he should miss the +careless jollity, the youthful fun and freedom of the last two years. +Huddesley was leaving the room when the doctor abruptly called him +back: "Huddesley!" + +"Yes, sir." + +"I--I seldom interfere in the affairs of my servants, Huddesley," +said Doctor Vardaman, hesitating. "I realise that I have no more right +to meddle with your business than you with mine. But I--I should +like to ask you if you have ever had any business dealings with +Colonel Pallinder? If you--you have ever bought any of his mining or +'Phosphate' stocks, in short?" + +Huddesley, after a moment's puzzled silence, so far forgot his usually +impeccable manners as to utter a queer unpleasant sound between a +sneer and a laugh. "Me?" said he. "Not much. Think I'd be roped in by +any such con game as that? I guess _not_--bet your bottom dollar!" He +caught the doctor's startled look, and faltered. "Hi--Hi 'ope you'll +hexcuse me, sir," he said in genuine and very alarmed confusion; "Hi +'ear so much rough talk sometimes, Hi can't 'elp picking it hup----" + +"Never mind," said Doctor Vardaman kindly. "I thought you were too +shrewd a man and had seen too much of the world to--to be taken in, as +you say. I should be sorry to think of your losing money--especially +through over-confidence in--in any friend of mine. I wouldn't like to +feel that you were influenced in that way," the old gentleman concluded +rather sadly. + +The servant eyed his downcast face with an unfathomable expression. He +fumbled with the door-knob; then he cleared his throat and spoke with +something of an effort. "You're mighty kind to me, Doctor Vardaman," he +said huskily. "You treat me mighty white--and I won't forget it." + +It was the second time within the hour that Doctor Vardaman had +received this agreeable assurance. "'Mighty white,'" he quoted to +himself, almost smiling, as the door closed. "I'm afraid Huddesley is +becoming Americanised." + + + + +CHAPTER SIXTEEN + + +Among the forgotten fashions of the years from eighteen-eighty to +eighty-five was that of giving our parties, evening or afternoon, +for young people or old, of whatever kind, in short, in our own +homes; the easy hospitality of clubs or fashionable hotels was not +yet known. Houses with double-parlours and a dining-room back were +considered ideal for any sort of entertainment; and, of course, such +an architectural triumph as the old Gwynne house with that splendid +ballroom on the third floor, was _hors concours_. There was not another +home in town to compare with it. Mrs. Pallinder could entertain without +disturbing a single piece of the peacock-blue and old-gold furniture; +she meant, however, to have the whole place floor-clothed the night +of the twelfth. "I can't risk my Moquette carpets with a mob of young +people tearing around all over the house, you know, my dear," she said +with a smiling pretence of severity; and her guests, eying the rich +scrolls and garlands underfoot, gravely acquiesced. Everywhere else, +all the movables, except the bookcases and piano, were marshalled +upstairs or out on the back porch. The little sofas in our parlours +generally went into retirement under the stairs at the rear end of the +hall. In the afternoons we were just beginning to have progressive +euchres, and what we actually called "high teas." It is doubtless +impossible for the mind of to-day to conceive of a society so devoid +of education and good taste as to call any species of entertainment +a "high tea," but such is the appalling fact. You may pick up a +_Journal_ or _Evening Despatch_ of that date, and read not one but many +notices such as this: + + + "At Mrs. Henderson P. Gates' high tea on Monday in the fashionable + crush were observed: + + Mrs. Colonel Pallinder in a toilet of ottoman silk and silk plush + in two shades of electric blue, with garniture of chenille and + pearl fringes, and a capote of feathers en suite. + + Miss Pallinder in wine-coloured surah with sleeves and draperies + of spotted silk grenadine. + + Miss Ponsonby-Baxter wore a redingote of crushed-strawberry pekin + opening over a brocaded front in shades of the same, with panels + of----" + + +No, I have not the heart to go on with the gaudy details of Muriel's +panels and passementerie. But I remember that dress well, and, +believe it or not, she looked as nobly and placidly beautiful in the +crushed-strawberry redingote as had she been draped like the Winged +Victory. Mrs. Gates continued her party with a dance that same evening. +"The house was all torn up anyhow," Lily Gates told us; "and mamma +thought she might just as well go ahead." + +Muriel and J. B., or Mr. Taylor, as she decorously called him,--he +was only J. B. to college mates or others who knew him well,--were +sitting out a waltz on the top step of the Henderson P. Gates' stairs. +It was a long flight, turning sharply at a little landing to reach the +upper hall; and the musicians penned in the alcove behind the steps +on the first floor were discoursing "A Medley of Popular Airs," with +admirable command of rhythm and expression. "Wh-i-te Wings," "Swee-ee-t +Vi-o-_lets_," the sounds travelled up to them as through a chimney. +There was a smothering scent of lilacs--the house had been decorated +with them--and in pauses of the noise one could hear the window-panes +shuddering to the assaults of successive blasts of wind and rain +commingled. The spring was early that year. A discreet twilight on the +top step held out opportunities for flirtation which Mazie Pallinder +never would have neglected in the world; but neither J. B. nor Muriel +had any notion of taking advantage of them. The girl was absorbed in +a certain dilemma; her even delicate brows were slightly drawn as +she studied the pattern of her fan, and wondered how she could lead, +draw, drag the conversation around to the desired point. And J. B. was +thinking that "Pretty Pond-lilies" was a good waltz, and if it hadn't +been so hot, and Miss Baxter something of an armful to pull around--and +she couldn't reverse--he would have suggested a turn. He looked at +her. It would be desirable, I suppose, to record minutely what Muriel +wore that night; I refer you to the columns of the _Journal_; but does +anyone remember that full dress in the eighties--in common with dress +for all occasions--comprehended those two aids to beauty, "bangs," and +"bustles"? Muriel's pretty copper-brown hair was arranged in the fringe +down to the eyebrows, the knot low on the nape of her neck, to which +a famous stage-beauty had lately given her name; and I am afraid her +black lace skirts were crinolined in the height of the fashion. But the +young man thought she looked like Juno--Juno with a bustle! They had +been talking about Doctor Vardaman. + +"The doctor's really awfully fond of his queer old things," J. B. +remarked. "If you show the least interest--and it's not put on with +me, I _am_ interested--he'll take you around, and explain to you who +all the big-bugs, his ancestors in the portraits were, and what they +did, and tell you about his first editions, and the old wine he's got +laid away, and the autograph-letters to his grandfather from Benjamin +Franklin and all the rest of it." + +"How odd!" said Muriel. + +"Yes, I suppose it's funny to you, but you see over here we don't have +all that the way you do. People aren't used to seeing it about them +all the time. I expect that's the reason Huddesley fits in with the +doctor so well; he cares for everything and understands--the way old +family-servants do in novels you know. He's so English----" + +"No, he isn't," said Muriel decidedly. "You think so, but none of you +_know_. Nobody talks like that at home." + +"Well, not nice people of course, but servants----" + +"No, not servants either. He's no more like a real servant at home than +our stage-Yankees are like you." + +"You've never come into contact with his class much, I guess," said J. +B., remembering that the treatment accorded servants varies widely. +"Everything is different with us; now the doctor likes to make him +talk. We're all going down there to dinner Friday night, did you know +it?" + +"What, all of us? Why, that's the night we----" + +"No, only the men, I mean. The doctor told Mrs. Pallinder he'd like to +have us, and he thought maybe she'd just as lief we were out of the +house, while all of you were getting ready for the performance. There +are so many of us, you know, for 'William Tell.' Some of the fellows +have sent their clothes out to his house, and are going to dress there." + +Muriel looked at him timidly. He was unconsciously opening a door for +the entrance of that all-important topic; she was not quick, however, +and besides she was in doubt whether--whether it would be quite proper +for her to speak to him about it at all! Next moment the opportunity +was gone. + +"If we get everybody in a good humour with the first performance, they +won't care if 'Mrs. Tankerville' _is_ a little rocky," J. B. observed +sagely. "Teddy isn't so good as _Jenks the butler_. He's not--not +convincing. Ted doesn't look as if he could steal a potato, let alone +a hatful of diamonds. And then he hasn't the chances to be funny there +are in 'Tell.' Nobody knows their part yet, and here the thing's set +for Friday!" + +"I'm rather sure of myself all except one place," Muriel said. "We've +been going so we haven't had much time to study." + +"I know. It's an awful rush this season. The girls can stand it, of +course; they rest in the daytime. But a fellow's got to go to business. +Somebody said to Arch. Lewis the other day, 'Oh, never mind. They don't +need you at the office.' He said, 'Yes, but hang it all, I don't want +'em to find that out!'" + +Muriel listened and assented vaguely; she was not accustomed to young +men who had businesses and offices. Time was passing, and they were no +nearer the point than they were ten minutes ago. She hesitated; and J. +B. admired, yet a little wondered at, the swift changes of colour in +her cheeks. "These English girls beat everything at blushing," he said +to himself; and then removed his eyes with a sudden guilty flush over +his own face as he realised that he had been staring too hard. But, +Jove, what a beauty she was! + +"You all think Mr. Johns is very good in his part, don't you?" said +Muriel, nervously conscious that they had been silent too long. +American men, she had noticed, expected the girls to do the most of the +talking; and, somehow, the girls did. + +"Why, yes, especially in 'Tell,' don't _you_?" + +"Well, I--I don't always understand, you know. And the last night we +rehearsed, after we went to that dinner at the Ellises', I couldn't +even make out some of the words he said, he spoke so----" + +"He--he wasn't very well--we had to call the rehearsal off, you +remember?" interrupted the young man hastily. Muriel was surprised to +see him redden and avoid her eyes. There was an awkward pause--the kind +of pause that, had Muriel been an American girl, with their uncanny +sharpness of intuition, she would not have allowed to occur. But, had +Muriel been an American girl, this history would have remained forever +unwritten. But for her visit to the Pallinders' there would have been +no 'Tell,' no 'Mrs. Tankerville,' no dinner at Doctor Vardaman's--who +can say what might have happened instead? + +"Ted can imitate Billy Rice first-rate," said J. B., anxious to +steer gracefully away from an uncomfortable situation. "We had a +minstrel-show one time, and he made up to look like Rice and sang that +song of his: + + + "Arthur, they say, will em-i-grate," + + +"Then all the rest of us had to shout, you know, + + + "WHEN?" + "Bye-and-bye! + Into the ma-tri-mo-ni-al state." + "WHEN?" + "Bye-and-bye!" + + +"They're all the time getting off something about the President +marrying again, you know. Teddy was as good as Rice any day." + +"Billy Rice?" repeated Muriel. She had not thought the fragment of +comic song very comic (and therein I dare say she was right), and she +knew no more who Billy Rice was than--than the average reader of these +lines. Time has dismissed that fat, jolly troubadour. Upon what bank of +misty Acheron does he now perform his melodies? And where are the snows +of yester-year? + +"He's a big fat fellow--a white man, you know. They're all white, but +blacked up, in the minstrel-shows," J. B. explained patiently. + +"Fancy! What do they do?" + +"Why, sing and dance; buck-and-wing, and all that. It's rather +knock-down-and-drag-out fun, some of it; and some's pretty good." + +"I don't believe I'd understand the jokes," said Muriel forlornly. +"It's so different at home--it's quite simple. Everyone always knows +when to laugh. But you know that song you sing in 'Tell,' 'The Maiden +on the Icy Plank,' that first verse--would you mind explaining? You +know where it says: + + + "The maiden on the icy plank + Showed conduct quite surprising, + She went and got a cake of yeast-- + Then fell instead of rising!" + + +I--I don't quite see it--the--the point, you know." + +"Oh, that's just nonsense, you know--it's just silly. The fact +is--_yeast_, you know, _yeast_, well, it makes things _rise_, and she +_fell_----' + +"Oh, she _ate_ the yeast?" said Muriel with a charming smile. "Oh, +that's very droll!" She almost laughed. "It didn't say that, you see. +That's why I didn't understand. But she _ate_ the yeast!" + +"Yes, she _ate_ the yeast," said J. B. resignedly. "One can't quite +explain a thing like that somehow. It's only meant to be silly." + +"Most of your American jokes are like that, aren't they? I mean they +have to be explained. At first I thought it was because I was slow--but +you say such _queer_ things--and one can't ever be certain whether +you're in fun or earnest." + +"I suppose it _is_ hard for a stranger. Is there anything else--any +other joke, I mean, that you'd like to get at the true inwardness of?" + +Muriel recognised the opportunity she had sought. + +"I--I wish you'd tell me, if you don't mind, you know that costume you +wear in the play, that kilt--why do you wear that, Mr. Taylor?" + +J. B. surveyed her perplexed. + +"Why do I wear the kilt and all the rest of it? Why--why to make a +little fun, you know." + +"I _thought_ that was it," said Muriel earnestly. "But, you see, it's +really not funny." + +"Oh, isn't it?" + +"Not a bit," Muriel assured him; and then her heart dropped dismally at +the expression on his face. + +He did not looked pleased somehow. + +"I--I didn't mean that _you_ aren't funny, you know, I mean _it_ isn't +funny." + +"I'm afraid I don't catch the distinction," said the young man a little +drily. Bitter is the cup of the unappreciated joker. + +"I mean--I--I----" quavered Muriel miserably. "Maybe it's because I'm +not used to your fun--I don't see things--it's always really funny at +home--so different from here--so much easier. But--I--I think you're +too--too nice to wear a kilt!" + +The tears came into her eyes; tears of embarrassment and perhaps some +deeper unanalysed feeling. Amazement encompassed J. B. What on earth +was the matter with her? It was not possible she thought the kilt +indecent! + +"And--and that little red apple on the corner of your head!" faltered +Muriel. "It all makes you look so foolish--not at all funny. And you're +not foolish--really and truly not the least bit foolish--and I think +it's a shame for you to make yourself look so!" + +At the moment J. B. looked exceedingly foolish. Her interest was +gratifying, of course; there was something almost maternally sweet in +it. But it put him, as he phrased it to himself, in an awful box. + +"You--you're not vexed, are you?" said Muriel, holding her chin steady +by an effort. The young man glanced at her, and surprised an expression +that caused him to look away, crimsoning. The next instant he inwardly +cursed himself savagely for a despicable cad. Couldn't a nice girl look +at him without his imagining----! + +"Oh, I wouldn't get mad about a little thing like that, Miss Baxter," +he said heartily. "I'm feeling pretty stuck-up about your--your +speaking of it at all, you know. Of course, it _is_ a Tom-fool costume, +but I've let myself in for it now, and I can't very well back out, and +leave them without anybody at the last minute. And I won't look any +sillier than the others--not so silly as Ted for instance, in women's +clothes." + +"Oh, he doesn't make any difference!" said Muriel, almost with +impatience. + +"Well, he thinks he's pretty important, anyway," J. B. said, wondering +privately what they would have done without the comparatively safe +and conservative ground of Teddy Johns' character and abilities for +a retreat, when the conversational horizon grew overcast. "In the +second play especially--making away with peoples' diamond coronets and +things! Mrs. Pallinder's going to let us have all hers. She's got some +sparklers, you know, regular headlights; you've seen her wear them? +Tell you, if I were in Ted's place, I wouldn't want to have 'em in +my charge, even for a few minutes--and it's all through the last two +acts--until the place where they drag him out from behind the screen, +after I'm supposed to shoot him, remember?" + +"Yes, where you say: 'Don't put the handcuffs on a dead man, men!'" + +"And Billy Potter says: 'He ain't dead; you can't kill that kind with +a blast o' dynamite. I guess these here's your tiary, lady.' Ted's +going to have it all done up in a package in his inside pocket. He says +he's going to keep the things in his clothes the whole time. There are +so many servants around, and the carpenters to fix the scenery, and +the caterer's men--you can't be too careful. 'Twouldn't do to leave a +five-thousand-dollar diamond necklace lying around loose; everybody in +town knows about that necklace, I guess." + +"Do you suppose Mr. Potter really looks at all like a detective?" + +J. B. laughed. "No. He cocks his hat over one eye, and acts that tough +way, just to give the part a kind of snap--a little go, you know. But +the only detective I ever knew was a very quiet, gentlemanly sort +of fellow. We had a little trouble at the bank once, and had this +chap--his name was Judd--there for a couple of weeks, in plain clothes, +you know. He didn't look like Vidocq either--not a bit. He looked +like--like--well, a nice young fellow clerking in a shoe-store, say." + +"Fancy!" + +The music achieved its final chord; and the stairs promptly filled with +resting couples. Mrs. Gates came out of the parlour with an armful of +gilt shepherds' crooks and wreaths of tissue-paper roses. She looked +up at the long slant of young people, nodding and signalling; and went +back to speak to the musicians. The "juhman" was about to begin. + +"I do think it's too funny for any use," said Kitty Oldham across her +late partner to the nearest girl, "the way Britannia throws herself at +_somebody's_ head. Simply monopolises him the _whole_ time." + +"Oh, they were just sitting out one dance," said the man with her, +displaying an unexpected acuteness. "Never mind looking at me that way, +Miss Kitty. I know whom you were talking about. J. B. just didn't want +to dance it, I guess." + +"No wonder. Self-preservation's the first law of nature," said Kitty +with undaunted pertness. + +"Funny they don't teach 'em to _dance_, on the other side, isn't it?" + +"Oh, she thinks she's dancing," said Kitty, lazily scornful. "It's a +delusion they all have, I suppose. J. B.'s the only man around big +enough for her--except Gwynne, and he's tall, but he's too slim. He's +dropped out of the play--did you know?" + +"Why, no--what for?" + +"I don't know. If he'd been here to-night, I'd have asked him. He just +walked off, and nobody said anything, for fear of putting their foot in +it. I guess there never was a thing of the kind yet, that there wasn't +a lot of fighting about. It's bound to be that way, you know. Nobody +will be on speaking-terms before it's over." + +"Have they got someone to take his place?" + +"I believe Joe McHenry is going to do Matilda, and they're going to +leave out Joe's old part--it wasn't much anyway, and somebody or other +can take his speeches. Pretty nearly every man in town that can sing or +act at all is in it already, you know. Archie says he doesn't know what +they'd do, if anyone were to be taken sick." + +"But why do you suppose Gwynne----?" + +"Goodness knows! It's a bother, we'd fixed up all the programmes +with his name on, and there isn't time to make a whole new lot now. +You can't tell anything about it--there's a queer streak in all the +Gwynnes, you know." + + + + +CHAPTER SEVENTEEN + + +Doctor Vardaman's house wore something of a festive look on Friday +night when the "all-star cast," as some ribald jeerer had christened +them, of "William Tell," began to arrive. It was partly due to the +appearance of Huddesley in his worn evening-clothes, carefully brushed +and pressed. How he contrived to get the dinner--and it was a good +dinner--cooked and ready for serving, and yet present himself in the +doctor's little oil-clothed entry to open the door whenever the bell +tinkled, clean, cool, and unhurried, ready to take charge of overcoats +and hats--how Huddesley did all that, I say, would have been a mystery +to any woman. Even some of the young men spoke of it afterwards with +enthusiasm. As I have already stated, it happened that I never saw +Huddesley except once, later in this same fateful Friday evening, as +we shall presently hear, so that I am unable to describe him; but he +achieved a certain measure of immortality in much better-known and more +widely-read columns than mine will ever be. And in fact there could not +have been much about him to describe; I think he was undersized and +lean, a decent-looking, temperate, capable creature. But nothing in his +appearance, they tell me, would have moved one to a second glance at +him; and perhaps it was that very neutrality of face and figure that +adapted him so well to his position. That, and his manners, prudently +balanced between respectful reticence and respectful interest. He had +contributed in no small share to the coaching of everybody in the +all-star cast; he knew these young men as well as any subordinate +can know his superiors--yet he took their coats in sedate silence, +recognising them only by his grave "yes, sir," and "no sir," and +retiring to his kitchen as soon as his services were no longer needed. +Just once did J. B. imagine that he detected a faint flavour of--call +it irony or covert impudence in the man's bearing; and he presently +dismissed the idea from his mind as too fantastic. It was when +Huddesley was hanging up Teddy Johns' coat alongside the others on the +old-fashioned iron hat-rack, wrought in the semblance of a grapevine +with tendrils and bunches of fruit that decorated the hall between two +life-size oil-paintings of the doctor's "big-bugs." + +"Who's that, Huddesley?" asked Teddy affably, indicating by a nod the +one to the right. "The respectable-looking party in the knee-breeches, +I mean." + +"That's Doctor Vardaman's grandhuncle, I believe, sir; 'e's dead." + +"No, you don't say? Tst, tst! Too bad! That's the first I've heard of +it. When?" + +"Habout heighteen-twelve, Hi hunderstand, Mr. Theodore," said +Huddesley, paying the tribute of a deferential smile to the other's +jocularity. + +"Well, well, in the midst of life--the doctor's bearing up tolerably, +however, I see. Do you suppose it was a good likeness? What a terrific +big red nose the old boy had, didn't he?" + +"Hi'm hafraid 'e was haddicted to the bottle, sir," said Huddesley +respectfully. "That's what comes of the 'abit hoften." + +"Hey? The bottle?" + +"Yes, sir--'e took a drop too much, I dessay," said Huddesley without +the slightest change of expression. "But a great many gents did in +those days compared to what does now, Hi'm told. Heverybody's very +temperate _now_, sir, as you must 'ave noticed. 'E probably began +hearly, the hold gent yonder; you might say 'e was brought hup on the +bottle." + +J. B. eyed the man as Teddy, colouring a little, turned hastily into +the parlour; but Huddesley's face was guileless. It was impossible +to guess how much the fellow knew or meant to hint, though, indeed, +it would have required no great penetration to discover poor Teddy's +weakness. The wonder was that Huddesley, the silent, the discreet, +should have allowed himself to touch upon the subject at all. It struck +J. B. that he was almost too innocently humorous; he wondered if they +had spoiled Huddesley, as Colonel Pallinder had predicted, by their +unthinking familiarity. Muriel's words recurred uncomfortably to the +young man's mind: "You think he's English, but you don't _know_." +"He's no more like a servant at home than our stage-Yankees are like +you." But the idea of his being anything else, of his perpetrating an +elaborate hoax extending over two months and involving disagreeable +manual labour, for no conceivable end, was too preposterous. The +thought, hardly more than half-formed, floated across J. B.'s mental +horizon, and vanished like a shred of cloud before the wind. Yet his +confidence in Huddesley was oddly shaken; he halted, wavering at the +fulfilment of a plan he had had in mind but a moment earlier. To say: +"Look here, Huddesley, I wish you'd not fill Mr. Johns' glass as often +as the rest of us, and never quite full anyhow"--surely that would +have been a small matter, and no disloyalty to his friend, rather a +kindness. And Huddesley was discreet--yes, that was just it, confound +his wooden-faced discretion! All at once it savoured to J. B. of +slyness. This uncertain mood was new to him, and while he hesitated in +a kind of irritated wonder at his own lack of resolution---- + +"Beg parding, Mr. Breckinridge, sir, did you want to speak to me?" said +Huddesley. + +That settled it. J. B. felt as if those respectful eyes had bored +through into his thoughts. + +"No," he said shortly; and followed Teddy into his host's presence. + +Doctor Vardaman's guests sat down some ten or twelve strong, the +doctor at the head of his table, in a dress-coat the fashion of which +antedated even Huddesley's, with his iron-grey hair brushed forward in +a tuft over each ear; with a black stock such as he had worn since the +year '40; his eyeglass on a black ribbon aslant across his shirt-front +like an order; and a pair of Labrador-stone buttons in his cuffs, dark +watery-green with a crumb of fire eerily visible in the depths of them. +These cuff-buttons signalised the dinner as a gala-occasion; the doctor +marked the day with a Labrador-stone. He only wore them when the event +was of enough importance to justify such a display--a queer sentimental +tribute to certain queer sentimental recollections. They had been given +him who knows how long ago, and by whom? So do we all in secret offer +some absurd and pathetic oblation before the shrines of the past. I +dare say when the doctor opened the top drawer of his high-shouldered +mahogany bureau and took his Labrador-stone buttons out of their dingy +little green morocco case, for one moment the breath of a vanished +spring saluted him, and the roses still bloomed by the calm Bendemeer. +Thus did the old gentleman preside, invested with the kind dignity +of his age and character, and of his noble and beautiful profession; +and I have no doubt his ancient bachelor heart warmed a good deal at +this exercise of hospitality, at the brave sight of the double row of +young men's faces before him, and the deep and pleasant sound of their +laughter. The other end of the table was held by Mr. J. Breckinridge +Taylor, as the journals persisted in reporting him; and Huddesley +brought in the soup. The doctor served it himself from a tub of a +tureen, with a silver ladle not less than a yard long, both of which +had graced the tables of his mother and grandmother--there were giants +in those days!--as had all the other furnishings of this memorable +dinner. + +"There was one of those three-story-high cut-glass things, with tiers +of cups on circular platforms--I don't know what you call 'em--filled +with shaky jelly stuff and cream all foamy on top of it," one more +than commonly observant young man told me afterwards. "That was in +the middle of the table. And two silver castors with red Bohemian +glass bottles full of vinegar and oil and things like that, you know, +on each side of it; you could whirl 'em around, and pick out the +bottle you wanted. And there were shallow glass dishes with jelly and +two tall ones like big champagne-glasses, with kind of thick sticky +preserves--they had lids, the tall ones. After the soup, everything +came on at once, game, prairie-chicken, at the doctor's end, and just +plain John Smith chicken roasted, about the middle, and boiled leg of +mutton with this white sauce that has hard-boiled egg and little green +things like pickled shoe-buttons"--he meant capers--"all through it, +for J. B. to carve, and oysters and a ham, and four or five vegetables +all over the table. There were the funniest old steel knives with +ivory handles, and thin old silver forks and spoons with the doctor's +crest, and a motto, '_Foy tiendrai_,' whatever that may mean, on the +backs. Everybody had half-a-dozen wine-glasses; and to begin with there +were four decanters of sherry, one at each corner of the table, and +when we'd finished those--well, you _had_ to have a lot of liquor to +get through a dinner like that, you know--Huddesley brought out three +other kinds." + +J. B. conscientiously carving the joint at his end of the table, +viewed the shrinkage in the decanters with considerable uneasiness. +There was nothing prim or kill-joy about J. B. He had no idea of +affecting the virtue that denies to another man his cakes and ale. +But he was a hard-headed young fellow, not given to self-indulgence +of any kind; and although in the State of his birth and earlier years +over-drinking was anything but uncommon, he confessed to a sort of +contemptuous impatience with the man who did not know when he had +enough. It seemed as if one or two of the present company had nearly +reached that desirable condition; and still Huddesley travelled about +the table, impartial as Fate herself, leaving no glass unfilled; or +even half-full. J. B. could see Doctor Vardaman's face but imperfectly +around the erection of custard-cups in the centre, but he thought an +anxiety equal to his own appeared and vanished there by turns. Once +or twice the old gentleman seemed on the edge of signalling Huddesley +to hold his hand, but some feeling rooted, most probably in his +old-fashioned notions of hospitality, must have restrained him. + +"Tell you what," said J. B.'s next neighbour confidentially, "Johns is +about as full as I like to see him; it don't take much, you know. He's +just good and jolly now, but if he gets much more----" He shook his +head dubiously. "Say, have you heard anything more about the colonel? I +saw Gwynne Peters on the street to-day----" + +"Hock or madeira, sir?" said Huddesley in J. B.'s ear. "Hock, sir? Yes, +sir." + +"It seems the Pallinders--I don't care, hock, I guess. What's the +difference anyhow? I don't know one of these wines from the other." + +"What about the Pallinders _now_?" asked J. B. + +At that very moment, the length of the table away, Archie Lewis was +saying, "Suppose you've heard that about Gwynne Peters, Doctor?" + +Doctor Vardaman set down his glass with unusual emphasis. "That's the +third or fourth time this week that I've heard 'that about Gwynne +Peters,'" said he. "And in spite of it, I've never found out yet what +'that about Gwynne Peters' is!" + +"_What!_ Didn't you _know_? Why, I thought somehow you knew all about +the Gwynnes. Haven't you heard about the fuss with Pallinder and all?" + +The doctor shook his head, and motioned to Huddesley for fresh glasses. +"Never saw anything like the way the boys are getting through the +wine," was his inward comment. "And how warm they all look!" Then +aloud: "So _that's_ the reason Gwynne dropped out of the play; I +thought it a little odd when he declined my dinner," he said, fixing a +thoughtful gaze on Archie. "There's been a fuss with the Colonel, has +there? What was it about?" He fully expected to hear Archie say, "Why, +you know old Steven Gwynne----" had done this or that. But the young +man only looked at him inquiringly. + +"I thought you always knew all there was to know about the Gwynnes," +he repeated. "Templeton, their agent, has a desk with us--do you know +_him_?" + +"No--yes, I've seen him. He's short and stout and wears spectacles, +doesn't he?" + +"Yes, that's Templeton. You must have heard father's stories about him +and the Gwynnes; he has this little real-estate business, and scratches +along somehow, I believe the Gwynne estate's the biggest part of it. +Father says it's no trouble at all now compared to what it was before +Gwynne Peters took hold; father says there were two or three years +when Gwynne was away, before he got through Harvard, you know, when +Templeton's life wasn't worth living." + +"Well, I never understood that Gwynne managed the estate personally," +said the doctor, recalling, however, a recent scene in his library with +considerable interest. + +"No, he don't. He--well, he manages the family--I guess that's about +the size of it. Gwynne's getting a pretty good law-practice, you +know; he couldn't take his time to run around looking at roofs and +down-spouts. That's Templeton's job. When he leased the house to +Colonel Pallinder, you ought to have seen Templeton! I'll bet he was +the happiest man in Washington County. He's a nervous, excitable little +fellow anyhow. He said Pallinder leased it for three years at a hundred +and fifty a month, and it was a perfect miracle; the house is awfully +old, and it was all out of repair and hadn't any modern improvements, +except a furnace. Why, you remember what it was like, Doctor. Well, +then, the question of repapering and putting it in order came up, +and he told the Colonel flat he couldn't allow but just so much (one +month's rent, I think) for repairs. It was too funny, Doctor, to hear +him telling father about it. 'You know there's about twenty of the +Gwynne heirs, Judge Lewis,' says he, 'and nobody's got any money, and +everybody's got a say; and I simply _couldn't_ promise to do all the +Colonel wanted. Every time I paint a porch or fix somebody's sink, +those two old Miss Gwynnes take to their beds!' You just ought to +have seen Templeton telling all this, doctor, with those big glasses +shining, and his Adam's apple kind of working up and down the way +it does with nervous men. I guess it's not all pie attending to the +Gwynnes' affairs, even now. They're all so queer--except Gwynne Peters, +_he's_ all right. Finally the Colonel said he rather expected to buy +the house anyhow, and if they had no objection he'd go ahead and fix +it to suit himself, _at his own expense_. This is Templeton's side I'm +giving you, you know; I guess it's as near the truth as we'll ever +get. Seems to me Templeton was pretty careless, not to have it all in +writing. Anyhow, you know what they did, Doctor; built that little +conservatory, and put in all new plumbing, and had the house painted +and papered and grained from top to bottom--the Lord knows what all the +bills will come to--the Lord knows and He won't tell! But somebody else +will," said Archie with a grin. + +"Well, what's happened?" + +"Everything," said Archie concisely. "The wonder is, it didn't happen +before. In the first place, the plumber turns up in our office the +other day with his unpaid bill for six hundred and sixty-four dollars +and eight cents. He can't get anything out of Pallinder--Pallinder +cannily refers him to the owners of the property. He comes in with fire +in his eye, wanting to sue Templeton or the estate--father says he's +got a case, too. The plumber's a German, and pretty excitable, and I +told you Templeton was excitable, so you can imagine what it was like. +We tried to smooth 'em down, but we all got so full of laugh, we made +it worse, I think. One of the boys in the office says: 'Oh, come now, +Mr. Scheurmann, let him down easy, knock off the eight cents, won't +you?' 'I vill nodt gompromise! I vill haf my money! I vill nodt knock +off von pfennig!' I tell you the office was a lively place for about +two minutes, with Scheurmann jumping up and down and shaking his fists +on one side, and Templeton jumping up and down shaking his on the +other!" + +"Well, but what's all this got to do with Gwynne?" + +"Why, he came in after a while with some papers that I'd taken over +to his office a day or so before, when I found that old Gwynne fellow +that lives out on the farm, you know, and the two little old Gwynne +twins sitting around like crows waiting for Gwynne to come in--I told +you about that, didn't I? I was pretty sure right then that there was +going to be some kind of trouble. Anyway Gwynne came into our office, +and Templeton and the plumber left off jumping on each other to light +into him. As if Gwynne had had anything to do with it! I never felt so +sorry for a man in my life; he's the kind that always shoulders all +the responsibility and gets blamed for everything, somehow. He takes +the whole business terribly to heart; he'd been to see Pallinder, and +I guess they'd had it hot and heavy. He was all broken up over it. He +told father there was a poor devil of a gardener that had done some +work about the greenhouse, and came to him with a bill for twelve +dollars; his wife was sick, and he wanted Gwynne to see if he couldn't +get the money out of the colonel. Gwynne didn't say so, but I know he +paid that fellow out of his own pocket--he's that sort. He told father +if he could he'd rake and scrape and pay the whole thing himself +rather than have such a miserable scandal connected with the family. He +seems to feel as if it all kind of came back on him--over sensitive, +_I_ call it. You'd think it was all his fault." + +"I think I can understand the feeling," said the doctor. "I'm afraid +we've all bowed ourselves in the house of Rimmon." + +"Hey? The house? Oh, yes, I was going to tell you about that, it all +comes out now, the rent hasn't been paid, not one cent, since the +first six months! Gwynne's going to bring suit. He said he wouldn't +do it on his own account, but he's Sam's guardian--you knew about Sam +being out at the asylum, or whatever Sheckard calls his place?--and he +was responsible for Sam's money. I guess he had a devil of a row with +Pallinder--he wouldn't talk about it. You'd think anyone could have +seen all along that the colonel was nothing but an old bunco-steerer, +but I suppose Gwynne actually thought he was all right until this came +up!" + +"The idea of accepting the Pallinders' hospitality doesn't sit heavy +on your conscience at any rate," said the doctor. Archie looked up, +surprised; then he flushed a little and laughed. + +"Why, no, why should it? Pallinder's debts aren't worrying me any. And +as for talking about him, why, Doctor, it's been all over town the last +three days." + +The doctor's wine and the Pallinder's affairs circulated in about +equal proportion; and there was a good deal of speculation as to how +long the present state of things would last--how long the colonel +could hold out. "I hope nothing's going to happen--not while that Miss +Baxter, that nice English girl is here, that's all--the papers always +go for anything of that kind tooth-and-nail," said J. B.'s neighbour. +"And you know, after all, in his way, he's been kind of pleasant to +know--I've had some awfully good times up there." + +"So have I. It seems low-down talking this way, but everybody does," +said J. B. + +The other let his eyes rest on J. B. a moment, half-amused, +half-inquisitive. "I wonder--I do wonder what she thinks of us anyway." + +"She? Who?" + +"Why, Miss Baxter." + +"Pretty small potatoes, I guess," said J. B. absently, one eye on Teddy. + +"She thinks _you're_ all right, old man." + +"Bosh!" said J. B., resenting the tone more than the words. + +"She told me the other day she thought Breckinridge was a beautiful +name. 'Why, Miss Baxter,' I said, 'you ought to go to Kentucky; that's +J. B.'s old home. It's so full of Breckinridges, you can't throw a +stone without hitting one of 'em!' 'Really?' she says, just like that. +'Really?' She thought I was in earnest!" + +"Every Breckinridge you hit would have a gun in one hip-pocket and a +flask in the other," said J. B., turning the talk from Muriel as best +he could. "Bad men to throw stones at, on the whole----" + +"Champagne, sir?" + +"No! Good Heavens, do you suppose the doctor expects us to eat all +that pudding and jelly stuff, and fruit and nuts and cheese into the +bargain? It's--what d'ye call it?--Homeric, that's what it is--a +Homeric feast!" + +"Whash savin' up for, J. B.?" Teddy shouted from his seat; and J. +B.'s face darkened. He directed a meaning look at Teddy's nearest +neighbours; but by this time all the young men were beginning to be +somewhat flushed, whether from too much eating or too much drinking, +and there was an amazing amount of loud talk and hilarity. Teddy +repeated his question: "Why'n't you drinkin', J. B.? Huddesley, you've +lef' out Mr. Taylor. Mr. Taylor's _my_ frien', Huddesley. All my frenge +here----" He made a sweeping gesture, and knocked over a preserve-dish +with a stunning clatter, gazed at the ruin a minute, then burst into a +yell of laughter, in which, sad to relate, he was joined by more than +one at the table. Teddy suddenly straightened up and looked around +with profound gravity. "Somebody's makin' great deal noise!" said he, +with elaborate distinctness of utterance. And then returned to the +charge: "Why'n't you take some champagne, J. B.? Free's air, doctor's +champagne. You do' wan' hurt doctor's feelingsh, J. B.?" he inquired +pathetically. + +"I want to be so I can sing my part," said J. B. good-humouredly. "It's +hard to sing on top of a big dinner like this, you know, Ted. Better +look out, hadn't you?--For Heaven's sake, somebody tell Huddesley +not to give him any more!" he added in a whisper to his neighbours, +and tried to catch the servant's eye. But Huddesley was bending all +his energies to scooping up with exemplary method and expedition +the mess of syrup and broken glass; it seemed impossible to attract +his attention. And in another tour of the table he filled Teddy's +glass again, no one remembering, or perhaps noticing at all, J. B.'s +telegrams of consternation. "Well, damn it, I'm not his keeper!" said +the latter to himself, in a rage. "Everybody's forgotten that Ted's +pretty near the whole show, and they're letting him drink himself +blind drunk. He won't be able to stand up after this--I've done _my_ +best anyhow," and in a spirit of savage recklessness, he swallowed his +own champagne at one gulp, and turned to find Huddesley at his elbow +with another bottle. Caution returned upon him. + +"Say, Huddesley, didn't you see me shake my head when you gave Mr. +Johns that last glass? He's had all that's good for him already. Now +you quit it, you hear me?" said J. B., conscious of some confusion in +his own head where _his_ last glass was apparently hurrying to and fro +uneasily. He spoke with huge severity; the more as Huddesley met his +eye with disconcerting intelligence. + +"Oh, Lord love you, Mr. Breckinridge, 'e ain't 'ad enough to 'urt," +said he soothingly. "Hi won't let 'im get hout o' hand, sir." + +J. B. all at once found himself standing up. Why was he standing up? +The occasion somehow seemed to require it. + +"You mind what I tell you. He's got a very impartont +port--I mean a perry veportant imp--I say a very +important-part-in-the-play-and-I-don't-want-him-to-be-too-drunk +-to-speakstinctly," said J. B. painstakingly. + +"That's all right, Mr. Taylor, you just sit right down in your +chair--it's a nice chair; you just sit right down, now won't you?" said +Huddesley still soothingly--too soothingly by far to suit J. B. + +"Don't you give me any impudence," he said darkly. He sat down +surveying the assembly with scorn shading into pity. _He_ wasn't drunk, +anyhow. But now Doctor Vardaman had risen in his place at the head of +the table, and was asking silence at the top of his lungs--not the +best way in the world of getting it, to the mind of a disinterested +onlooker, but, as nobody was so far gone yet as not to heed the host +of the evening, he was finally obeyed, after Teddy, under the mistaken +impression that he was being called on to give his justly famous +rendition of the farmer about to kill a turkey, had been quelled. + +"Gentlemen," said the doctor, casting a look of some anxiety over his +table-full, "let us not forget, that, however much we may be enjoying +the present hour--I speak for myself"--here a number of voices assured +him heartily, "So are we! You bet!" and so on--"I say, gentlemen, +we must not forget that time is passing, and we are due for the +entertainment of our friends at nine o'clock. It would never do, I +think, to keep the ladies waiting. And, having their convenience in +view, I propose that we drink a final glass--" said the doctor, unable +to avoid a slight stress on the adjective--"a _final_ glass to the +success of the performance and adjourn. Reversing what seems to have +been the practice of Scriptural times, I will offer you a very rare and +choice old vintage--you will pardon the conceit that calls attention to +its excellence--a wine that was laid down by my father, gentlemen, in +eighteen-fifteen, the year of the battle of New Orleans, the Waterloo +year, and, as it happens, the year of my birth. He obtained it--for it +has its history--of a Dutch merchant in Cadiz, and we have since called +it, not knowing in truth what its real name should be, Mynheer Van der +Cuyp's wine. Huddesley----" + +Here Huddesley stepped forward, and set before the doctor with +something of a flourish two thick black bottles, dusty as to the +shoulders, with the corks drawn, and a tray of the smallest variety of +glasses--rather miserly provision, it might appear, for such a company, +but Doctor Vardaman, not without considerable show of embarrassment, +proceeded to explain: "I--I find myself obliged to warn you, gentlemen, +inhospitable as it seems, that Mynheer Van der Cuyp's wine, what with +age and the richness of its ingredients, is of an unexampled potency. +It is at once smooth and heady, and--and I would not have you taken at +unawares. In short, boys," he added earnestly, abandoning his formal +manner, "it's the very deuce to go to one's head, and you all have +to be careful. Huddesley----" Again that invaluable person began to +circulate. + +Doctor Vardaman did not get through his little speech (which he +delivered in a style quaintly reminiscent of the after-dinner orators +of his youth, in an attitude with one hand beneath his coat-tails) +without some uproarious interruptions; the momentary pause that +followed had the surprising effect of clearing the brain of at least +one in his audience. Whatever the others felt, J. B. suddenly realised, +as he afterwards put it, that "he had reached his limit." He knew when +_he'd_ had enough, and the trepidation visible in the doctor's face as +Mynheer Van der Cuyp's wine went on its devastating way, was repeated +in his own. If the truth were known, the old gentleman had been +congratulating himself on bringing off what he considered a tolerably +clever _coup_ to end a sitting which promised disaster to some of the +company; and doing it without offence. But alas! for the best-laid +plans of mice and men! The catastrophe had occurred; some, perhaps most +of the men were a little the worse for liquor; a few minutes of cool +night air would cure them; but Teddy Johns, their prime performer, the +peg upon which hung all their hopes of success, Teddy was hopelessly +drunk. No night air, no applications of crushed ice and wet towels +would cure _him_. Teddy was very good-natured; he sang, he winked, he +joked, he told stories, he lavished endearments on his "frenge." Even +in his worry, the doctor found time for the reflection that wine in, +truth out is the most solid of maxims; liquor puts nothing into a man's +nature that was not there already, it can but reveal him naked; and if +he will be a brute in his cups, it is odds but you shall find him a +brute at heart out of them. There was nothing brutal about poor Teddy; +you could no more be angry with him than with a child. Too late the +doctor regretted his hospitality, too late he lamented the love of good +cheer and youthful company that had prompted him to this inordinate +abundance. He was in the frame of mind to write a temperance tract; +and a sarcastic grin fled across his features as he pictured what that +celebrity of his earlier years, Mr. T. S. Arthur, would have made of +the scene--the moral he would have drawn therefrom. + +Once I myself had the privilege of tasting the wine of Mynheer Van der +Cuyp. It was a dark and heavy liquor, pouring like oil, rich of aroma, +searching the veins with subdued fire. Perhaps few of Doctor Vardaman's +guests could appreciate that marvellous flavour; at any rate Teddy was +the only one to express a clamorous approval: + +"Pretty goo' for ol' Chickencoop! Give us s'more, Huddesley!" + +And Huddesley stolidly gave him some more, oblivious to signs. It +is with great reluctance that this historian enters a record of the +disgraceful scene--but the thing must be done. The horrid tale of +Mynheer Van der Cuyp's wine cannot be omitted. Of course, no man who +reads about Doctor Vardaman's banquet has ever so far forgot himself as +to get drunk, not even when he was a boy; he always had the strength +of character to resist that beastly temptation. And any woman knows +very well that instead of an assemblage of fairly decent and manly +young fellows, the doctor's guests were all low, swilling louts and +boors. So be it; it is true that they turned out, as years went on, to +be tolerable citizens most of them, good husbands, fathers of families +for whom they toiled honestly and provided handsomely--but all that has +nothing to do with the matter in hand. + +J. B. bounced up with great, even unnecessary vigour, crying out: "Oh, +this has got to be stopped--one of you fellows take it away from him!" + +"No use now, Breck," said Archie dolefully. "That jag will last till +morning." + +"Jag yourself!" said Teddy epigrammatically, if somewhat indistinctly. + +"Take away his glass, I say!" + +"Shan't either," said Teddy, grasping it unsteadily. "J. B., for shame! +You're drunk----" He got to his feet wavering; everybody was up by this +time. "Doc' Vardaman, 'pol'gise--J. B.'s condition--sorry----" He tried +to carry the glass to his lips, failed, and it crashed on the floor. +Teddy stood swaying, he smiled benevolently upon the doctor, "Sorry," +he murmured. + +"Look out! Hold him up!" + +"Huddesley----" + +"Here--hold on----!" A chair went over. Huddesley sprang to the rescue. + +"Sorry," repeated Teddy sleepily, "lead horsh to water--can't make him +stop drinkin'--sorry." He drooped on Huddesley's shoulder. + +"'Old hup, Mr. Theodore," said the latter amiably. "Lord! 'E 'as 'ad a +leetle too much, ain't 'e? Never mind, gents, Hi'll get 'im hupstairs, +Hi've 'andled 'em before." + +"Here's a nice how-de-do, now what's to be done?" said J. B. +despairingly as Teddy was dragged off. He looked around on the suddenly +sobered and very shame-faced group. Mr. T. S. Arthur could not have +pointed a moral half so well as did the spectacle of that drunken lad; +for somehow every man there felt himself at fault. + +Dr. Vardaman was not a little downcast; he saw himself in the +unenviable posture of an old Silenus, leading boys astray. "I am to +blame for this, boys," he said, glancing about in genuine distress. +"I--I----" + +"No, you aren't, Doctor, we were all taking too much," somebody said. +"And we're old enough to know better. We ought to have looked out for +Ted." + +"What I want to know is, what are we going to do now?" repeated J. B. +And in the silence of blank looks that followed, Huddesley came back. + +"'E'll do nicely now, gents," he announced cheerfully. "Hi'll go hup +and get the rest of 'is clothes hoff hafter a while. 'E was a _leetle_ +fractious habout being' hundressed, but Hi persuaded 'im 'e was goin' +to put on 'is costoom for 'William Tell,' and 'e let me take 'is coat +like a lamb." + +"'William Tell,' hey?" said Archie grimly. "It's all up with 'William +Tell' now." + +"Sir?" said Huddesley aghast. + +"Worse than that--it's all up with 'Mrs. Tankerville,' too." + +"Five minutes to nine! We ought to be there now." + +"Well, we'll just have to tell them that he's been taken sick----" + +"Everybody knows what that means," said J. B. impatiently. "Might as +well tell the truth." + +"Good Lord! What will the girls think? And Miss Baxter, too--what will +_she_ think? What will everybody say? We'll never hear the last of it! +Can't anybody--can't one of you fellows take his part? Here, Ollie +Hunt--or you, Joe?" + +Vain hope! "I'm doing Gwynne Peters' part as it is," said Joe, +helplessly. A hurried canvass revealed the dire fact that the one +or two men who were of a size to wear the dress either were already +provided with parts of too much importance to be left out, or could +not sing the music allotted to _Mrs. Gessler_. Nobody remembered the +dialogue in either play; but that was a small matter, if only someone +could be found, a dummy, a straw man, anybody to appear on the stage +and read the lines. Things looked black--and already the carriages of +prompt arrivals were beginning to roll into the Pallinder gate. + +"Couldn't you give him some stuff--something strong that would bring +him around, Doctor?" it was asked as the old gentleman returned from a +look at his guest. "They won't be surprised at an amateur performance +being late--and an hour might straighten him out." + +The doctor shook his head. "Nothing I know of in the whole range of +medicine," said he briefly. "He's sound asleep, stupefied, dead drunk, +or whatever you choose to call it--as if he'd been drugged. Mynheer Van +der Cuyp's wine was the last straw--terribly strong stuff." + +"I guess there's no way out of it--we'll have to give the thing up or +postpone it," said Archie gloomily. "Nice job for the Pallinders, isn't +it? Think of the staging and lights----" + +"And the house all floor-clothed and decorated----" + +"And the orchestra----" + +"_I'm_ waiting to hear what old Botlisch will say, that's all!" + +"We'll have to stand from under when _she_ begins, I guess." + +"Can't be helped now, fellows, we'll have to take our medicine. But +who's going to tell 'em?" + +"Beg parding, Mr. Breckinridge, sir, but you ain't goin' to give hup +the plays on haccount of Mr. Theodore, are you?" Huddesley inquired +with a face of consternation. + +"Have to, Huddesley," said the doctor. "There's no one to take his +place, you know." + +"But, beg parding, sir, 'ow'll you hexplain?" + +"Why, somehow--anyhow--get up some kind of story." + +"Doctor Vardaman, sir," said Huddesley, wagging his head solemnly. +"Murder will hout. Wotever story you get hup, you'll 'ave--if you'll +hexcuse my saying it--you'll 'ave the devil's own time." + +"Well, we've thought of that, but----" + +"You 'aven't thought hof heverything, sir," said Huddesley in a +melodramatic undertone. "THE PAPERS, sir!" (and nothing but the largest +capitals will express the curdling whisper with which he brought out +the words). "'HAWFUL HORGIES HAMONG THE FOUR 'UNDRED! PRIVATE LIFE OF +HEMINENT PHYSICIAN REVEALED! DAYS HOF HANCIENT ROME RECALLED! HEXTRY! +HALL HABOUT THE SCANDAL IN 'IGH LIFE!' That's what it will be sir, as +sure as fate!" His face and gestures were vividly pictorial; headlines +such as he suggested in letters half-a-foot high on the first page +of the morning journals loomed upon everyone's mental vision. J. B. +looked at the man and again suspicion awoke within him. + +"Any editor that publishes lies like that will get a horse-whipping," +said he deliberately (J. B. was not born a Kentuckian for nothing). +"And if any story of the kind gets out, the man that starts it will get +another. If you want to be bought off, Huddesley, you've come to the +wrong people." + +"I wasn't thinking of that, Mr. Breckinridge," said Huddesley, +cringing. "I only wanted to save trouble." + +"Save trouble how?" + +"Why, if it isn't presuming too much, sir, I--I could do Mr. Johns' +parts, I've heard him often. I don't want to be putting myself forward, +sir, but I gave him some suggestions about the _business_, and you +yourself were so kind as to say that they were good ones." + +J. B. and the doctor stared at first incredulously, then with a glimmer +of relief. The servant was plainly in desperate earnest. His forehead +was wet, there was colour in his sallow cheeks, he twisted the napkin +in his hands. But J. B., as he afterwards confessed, paid little enough +attention to the changes in Huddesley's manner, singular as they +were; he was too much occupied with this possible way out of their +difficulty. If Huddesley _could_ do it, the day might yet be saved. +No one but the performers need know it; in the _Mrs. Gessler_ make-up +Teddy was unrecognisable from the front, as also when he appeared as +_Jenks the butler_ in mutton-chop sidewhiskers. They were all men in +"William Tell"; in the second play, his rôle would not bring Huddesley +into offensive contact with the girls; they would have to be told, but +trust Mazie Pallinder to carry off a situation like that! If Huddesley +could manage to get through, some excuse could be found for his +non-appearance afterwards; nobody would suspect anything, and when the +truth did come out, gossip would have been staved off for a little +while at least, and people rarely halloo long on a cold scent. J. B. +questioned the doctor with a glance; then called to the others: + +"I say, you fellows, come here a minute, I want to talk about +something!" + + + + +CHAPTER EIGHTEEN + + +When I meet some fellow-performer in the Pallinder theatricals nowadays +we seldom fail to hark back to that noteworthy occasion before we have +had out our talk. There were many of us and we have since scattered +wide to widely differing lives, yet, I think for most this episode +of the eighties probably bulks largest in the dun landscape of our +respectable careers. This is no tragedy; we all married--or by far the +greater number of us--and lived happily at times, at times unhappily, +as people do, ever after. But we never came nearer to adventure. +Reviewing that night with a friend, I am always amazed at the stirring +events that took place within the notice of only one or two persons; we +each cherish a different recollection. So much seems to have happened +to us individually, it is after all not surprising that something +tremendous should have happened to us collectively. Not long since, as +we were discussing it in a company, someone said: "Wasn't it awful when +I fell over the jardinière right out by the footlights?" Nobody else +remembered the shocking occurrence! This heroine is now a comfortable +matron of forty-odd with two daughters at Bryn Mawr; she has a handsome +establishment, and an excellent dressmaker; her only anxiety, I +believe, is her youngest son, who is a delicate child. It is strange +to think of this sensible middle-aged woman, who, like all the rest of +us, has lived out her romance, seen the world, suffered who knows how +many griefs and disappointments, and yet had her share of happiness, +it is strange to think of her harbouring all these years the stinging +memory of how she fell over the jardinière. The mind has a vexatious +pet-animal trick of picking up and storing away trivialities; what +would we not all give to remember what is worth remembering--and to +forget! + +I said we were many; for, besides the cast of "Tell," "Mrs. +Tankerville's Tiara" demanded a practically unlimited number of young +people in full dress for the ballroom scene. I have since suspected +that Mazie, the diplomatic, selected the play for that very reason. She +asked all the débutantes, and every one else who was "anybody"; and, +no matter what we said, we were all sufficiently tickled to figure so +publicly in a new dress, even if only for a few minutes, and in what I +have seen aptly ticketed a "thinking part." Such was my own, and I was +divided between a feeling of relief that I had no speeches to remember +and deliver in the hollow expectant silence of the audience-room, and +an inward conviction that had I been cast for a leading rôle, I should +have done much better than anyone else. The performance was, of course, +late in beginning; but everybody expected that, and although people +had been invited for nine, many did not arrive until long after. To +this day I can remember the look of the ballroom,[5] very high, wide, +and chilly, rows of empty chairs drawn up across the floor, spirals of +smilax twisted around the pillars--it was a hard place to decorate, so +big and bare--and Mrs. Pallinder erect by the door, with a grove of +potted plants behind her. She had to receive by herself, as Mazie took +part in the second play, and did not care to dull the effect of her +first costume by letting it be seen prematurely. Mazie had a fine idea +of dramatic proprieties, and a certain sense of climax. The colonel +did not show for some reason; I believe he was downstairs, welcoming +the men as they came in, to the punchbowl on the sideboard. Mrs. +Botlisch had providentially gone to bed with a bilious attack; she had +entertained us with a particular account of her symptoms, remedies, and +their results at luncheon. So Mrs. Pallinder received, looking rather +haggard, I thought, in spite of her rouge; perhaps it was because she +was not wearing those famous diamonds, and one missed their generous +brilliance. Jewels were eminently suited to Mrs. Pallinder; her fair +hair and clear stone-grey eyes seemed to gain a needed lustre from +her necklaces and pendants, and she was the only woman I ever saw who +could wear an earring gracefully. That barbaric ornament set her ear +like a drop of dew on the petal of a flower--there was no hint of +mutilation about it; and I believe she could have sported a stud in +her nostril without offence. She was placed to the utmost advantage; +her delicately classic head and white shoulders were detached upon the +background of dark foliage with a charming cameo-like effect. But she +was all one faint exquisitely-faded colour in an ashes-of-roses silk, +and that or something else more subtle made her look strangely older. +She had surrendered her diamonds with many playful-serious cautions to +_Mrs. Tankerville_, that is, Mazie; and that young woman was decorating +her languid Oriental person with them in the depths of her den of +rocking-chairs and mirrors. + +The Chorus of "William Tell" arrived a long while ahead of the stars, +who, as we have seen, were dining with Doctor Vardaman. Even by the +time the Chorus had finished dressing--there was only one of him, as +I believe I have intimated elsewhere, a tall fair young man, who wore +eye-glasses in private life and was a great admirer of Mazie's,--the +rest of the cast had not yet put in an appearance. I suppose if we +could have known what was going forward in the Swiss cottage we would +have been much exercised; but we had no apprehensions, and no quick +means of communication, if any doubts had assailed us. Few private +houses had a telephone in those days, not even the Pallinders--which +was, no doubt, owing in large part to the inconvenient habit prevailing +among telephone-companies from the earliest times of demanding +quarterly payments in advance, and removing the instrument if they +were not forthcoming. So far from worrying, however, we found some +pleasurable excitement in the long wait behind the scenes, and stealthy +peeps through the eye-hole. The setting for "Tell" was the same +throughout its two acts as I recall, a Swiss picture with Alps in the +background, canvas trees and foliage to the front, and a "practicable" +well with a gigantic sweep, whence they brought up pails of water and +diluted the contents of _Tell's_ milk-cans--he was a dairyman in the +burlesque; this was the _Schactenthal Waterfall_, and was the subject +of many noble apostrophes from all the actors; even _Gessler_ and +_Jemmy_ had something to say about it. There was a trap-door in the +floor of the stage and a servant stood to hand up buckets as they were +needed. + +"Most people," the Chorus remarked to me, "would have had to put up a +lot of money for all this. The colonel got a carpenter from the Grand +Opera House, not the head man, I suppose, but some second-best fellow +they could spare, to plan and oversee it all, so that everything would +be safe. That's the man over there now; he told me the bill for the +lumber alone would be thirty-five or forty dollars--and it's good for +nothing but kindling-wood after to-night, you know." + +We were sitting together on a green baise-covered mound, very much in +the way, doubtless, as we watched the men getting things in position. +I had no business to be there at all, but I was dressed and ready for +my part, and so alive with curiosity and excitement, I could no more +stay in one place sedately than a young kitten or puppy. The stolid +professionals at work on the scenery endured our presence on the +principle, perhaps, that bids us to suffer fools kindly. + +"The Pallinders must be awfully well off," I said. My companion eyed me +soberly. The Chorus was a serious and practical young fellow; at the +present time he is conducting a great milling business somewhere up in +Michigan. They make two or three kinds of breakfast-foods, I think, +and have been extraordinarily successful. But we were not dreaming of +that the night we perched together on the make-believe mound behind the +swaying drop-curtain; rather must his thoughts have been occupied with +Mazie Pallinder, her long serpentine figure, and sprightly drawl. For +I noticed how his eyes wandered constantly in the direction whence she +might appear. + +"I wish the boys would get here," he said, wrinkling his brows. "It's +half-after already. They're beginning to crowd in pretty thick--last +time I looked all the first fifteen rows were taken. Is--ah--is Miss +Pallinder going to come and help her mother receive? I didn't see her. +But if she is, I--ah--I really ought to go and speak to them." + +He coloured furiously at the mere mention of her name; and it struck me +as exquisitely humorous that his goddess was probably at that instant +producing just such a blush on her own well-tried cheeks by what +mysterious agency! Pink nail-paste and talcum-powder had a good deal to +do with it, I believe. + +"She isn't there, and you shouldn't go in costume anyhow. Nobody ought +to be seen beforehand--Mazie says so. She's all dressed and sitting in +her room until 'Mrs. Tankerville,' begins. How did it happen you didn't +go to dinner at Doctor Vardaman's with the others?" + +"Why, I had to go down to the train to meet Susie; she's coming on from +New Haven with the two children to make us a visit. Her train was due +at eight, but it's five hours late--stalled at a washout just this side +of Pittsburgh, the fellow at the ticket-office told me. He said all +the Pan-Handle and B. & O. trains were coming in anywhere from one to +nine hours behind the schedule-time. Freshets, you know; the Ohio's on +a boom. They're having an awful time in Cincinnati, they say, biggest +flood in years. There, isn't that J. B.'s voice?" + +I beat a hasty retreat for Mazie's room, where the entire feminine +cast of "Mrs. Tankerville" was by this time collected. We had to be +bestowed in some place where we could talk in safety; and no talking +could be allowed "behind" while the plays were in progress, even such a +scatter-brained crew as we were, knew that. But from time to time one +of us would steal out to the wings, watch the familiar antics, listen +to the familiar jokes a while, and bring back a report. I believe we +enjoyed this excited hour or two more than anything that went before or +after. In Mazie's room the gas flared high; the chairs, the lounge, +the bed were heaped with finery. We pulled a big pink silk screen +in front of the door so that the arriving audience, taking off its +wraps in the other bedrooms, might not see us. There was a green-room +atmosphere (we thought) of flowers, candy, perfume, acid gossip; and +now and again we could hear one of the men rushing through the hall +outside to their quarters in the wing, for a change of clothes; or a +thunderous burst of laughter, "like a dam giving away," Kitty said, +when the dining-room door in the hall below swung open. + +"It's going all right," she reported, returning from one of these +expeditions with very bright eyes and flushed cheeks. She looked +distractingly neat and coquettish in her black frock, cap, and short +ruffled apron as the maid; and I was afterwards told that one of the +men had caught and kissed her in a dark corner behind the prompter's +chair. They all seemed to be in wonderfully high spirits. "Only it's +so funny the audience sometimes laugh in places where we didn't expect +'em to at all! You ought to see J. B. Taylor. He looks perfectly +_immense_ in that kilt; I didn't _know_ he was such a big man; great +big round pink arms like this! And the kilt kind of peaks down right +in the middle of the back; Harry Smith called him Doctor Mary Walker; +and _Gessler_ said he ought to have a bustle--right out loud so that +the people could hear! They call that _gagging_ the part." She sent a +glance of sparkling malice, suggestive, somehow, of a file of small new +pins, toward Muriel. "J. B.'s the _silliest_--you can't help laughing +to save your life." + +"Did they laugh at Teddy?" + +"Like everything! He's a little husky, or else it's too much dinner, +his voice sounds kind of queer, but I guess that will wear off in a +minute." She added in a rapid whisper, as Mazie's back was turned, +"Girls, it's _rich_! He's got himself up to look about as fat as Mrs. +Botlisch in an old gingham wrapper without corsets, you know, and he's +sort of taking her off, he's simply _splendid_, people just roll over +and laugh every time he opens his mouth." + +"Is Doctor Vardaman there?" + +"What, behind? No. He's not here at all, one of the men told me. He had +to go and sit up with some sick person, or something. Don't you want to +see J. B., Muriel?" + +"No," said Muriel flatly. She was looking acutely distressed, like a +large sorrowing Madonna. "I think Mr. Johns must look a great deal +sillier," she said with a kind of defiance. "Or that other--what is his +name?--the one that pretends to be the Chorus, just one of him--he's +_very_ silly!" + +"How is Bob doing?" Mazie asked. + +Bob was the Chorus. He was no actor; but the part only required someone +with a voice, and he had a really beautiful high sweet tenor. All he +must do was to appear in season and out of season and jodel, which he +did to admiration, with a perfectly grave face, for as I have said, he +was of a sober disposition, and to tell the truth saw nothing comic +in it. But about the seventh or eighth jodel the audience fell into +paroxysms of laughter and so continued whenever the Chorus came on. Bob +made one of the hits of the evening, to his own great confusion and the +frank surprise of everyone else in the cast. + +"Bob? Oh, all right. But that's one of the things they're laughing at; +isn't that funny?" + +"Why not, if he's funny?" said Muriel, puzzled. + +"Oh, I don't mean funny _that_ way, you know, I mean _funny_. Why +don't you come and look on a while, Maze? Bob'll do better if you're +there." + +"Oh, I guess I don't care to," said Mazie with indolent emphasis. +"I'd tear my dress or something. It's all full of ropes and nails and +pegs behind there." She leaned back in her rocker, contemplating the +sweeping breadths of her dull red silk train, spangled with jets; the +front of her low corsage darted light from innumerable facets of jet +and diamonds. In the absence of an actual tiara, her mother's diamond +necklace had been fastened on a symmetrical frame of silver wire, and +gleamed abroad from Mazie's dead-black hair, arranged in a forest of +bangs. Without a single pretty feature, she wrought a curious illusion +of dark and brilliant beauty; and Kitty gave her the tribute of an +unwilling admiration. A girl, and not a handsome girl at that, who was +too lazy or too stiff-necked to walk half-a-dozen steps to show herself +when she was looking her best to a man, who as we all knew was in love +with her, and who would be no poor match either--such a girl, I say, +commanded all the respect of which Kitty's small soul was capable. + +Then I adventured again, alone; and harvested a sensation. For, while +I was standing in the left wings, between two blocks of scenery, with +my skirts furled as close as the fashion of the day would allow, to +avoid casual tacks, Teddy Johns came off, followed by a gratifying, +yet somehow a little awesome, burst of applause. He stood close +beside me breathing hard, for his humour was largely acrobatic, +and dabbing the perspiration from his forehead and cheeks with a +corner of handkerchief, daintily so as not to mar his paint. And the +audience clamoured a recall. I suppose there were not more than a +couple of hundred people in the ballroom, yet the noise they made was +deafening in so contracted a space; there was something formidable and +pitiless in that great insistent voice. Sudden comprehension of what +stage-fright might be came to me, and I looked at Teddy with admiring +wonder. What must it be to face that hydra of a creature, that thing +of many souls fused into one unthinkable whole out there beyond the +footlights! + +"Weren't you frightened?" I whispered. + +He turned towards me--and it was not Teddy Johns at all! It was a man I +had never seen before. + +I was so startled I could only gasp and stutter; the light was good +enough, yet I thought it must have misled me, and peered into his +face anxiously, expecting his familiar chuckle. His features were a +mask of paint, apparently laid on at random, but as I know now, with +real skill and knowledge of effect; he wore false eyebrows and a wig +with a grotesque "slat" sunbonnet pushed halfway off, and held by the +strings knotted under his chin. His body was padded shapelessly. And +while I strove to find Teddy under this disguise, he suddenly bestowed +on me a grin so vicious and repellent, that I almost screamed aloud. +Whether that expression of amusement was involuntary on Huddesley's +part, or whether he feigned it out of deliberate deviltry, I have often +wondered. I must have uttered some sort of queer noise, for he said in +a biting whisper: "Hold your tongue, you--fool!" and in the same breath +was back on the stage, bowing to the tumult. He made the leader of the +orchestra a sign, the instruments crashed out the opening bars of his +song, and he began over again. + +I did not faint or go into hysterics, for I was a healthy and after all +a tolerably sensible young woman; but it is impossible to convey any +idea of my bewilderment. Fortunately it lasted only a moment or so. +Huddesley made his second exit to the right, for the sake of variety, +maybe; and the Chorus, crossing the stage, stationed himself in the +wings almost at my side, that he might be heard jodeling "off," in +stage-phrase. + +"No, that isn't Teddy," he whispered, in answer to my excited murmur. +"Yo-de-la-_hee-ho_!--Teddy's sick, that's the doctor's man--La-he, +la-he, la-he, ho!--Huddesley, you know; they got him to take Ted's +place, mighty lucky he can, too--Yo-de-la--_hee_-ho, yo-de-la-a-a!" + +FOOTNOTE: + +[5] It was the last time I saw it; in fact, I doubt, on thinking it +over, if any of us were ever inside the old Gwynne house again.--M. S. +W. + + + + +CHAPTER NINETEEN + + +Doctor Vardaman viewed the departure of his guests with mingled +relief and chagrin; the evening had not ended quite according to his +expectations, and he could not decide whether the disaster was his +fault or theirs; perhaps on the whole, they were lucky the outcome was +no worse. The young men of this generation lacked the self-control or +the physical fibre of their sires, he told himself irritably; and then +a queer smile twitched his lips as he remembered his own father saying +the same thing. To every age its own faults, and also its own standards +of judging them. In his day people used to speak tolerantly enough of +a man who drank; it was held a contemptible, but hardly a disgraceful +weakness. Are we grown better, or only more prudent? We go to church +less, but we certainly bathe a deal oftener. The creed of keeping one's +health is no such poor creed, when all is said; a man will diet to save +his mortal body with twice the vigour and conviction than he will pray +to save his immortal soul--and who shall say that it is not right, or +at least expedient for him to do so? For after all the health of his +soul is his own affair, but the health of his body vitally concerns +the welfare of others. Thus the doctor, moralising a little far afield +from the events of the evening; and he shrewdly suspected that to the +rest of the young fellows, Ted's drunkenness was not so unforgivable +an offence in itself, except for the monstrous inconvenience of it. +"And I am afraid I _am_ responsible for that," he said with half a +sigh. "If I had married and brought up a family, I should have known +better how to manage the lads. Eh, Louise?" He uttered the last words +aloud with a pensive glance at his Labrador-stones, and started at the +eerie sound of his own voice raised in sentimental monologue beside +his empty hearth. "I'm getting maudlin myself, now!" he thought, and +went to close the hall door swaying and creaking dismally in a rush of +damp, chilly air. It was raining pitilessly; it had rained for nearly +two weeks. The doctor, standing in his doorway, beheld the arrowy slant +of water shining against the dark where the hall light irradiated it; +amongst the irregularities of his brick-paved walk small puddles showed +an unsteady glistening surface. The bushes in half-leaf on either +side drooped and shone. Farther away there was an incessant rumour +of wheels, and he was aware of the measured approach and passage of +carriage-lamps in pairs, directed toward the Pallinder gate. Doctor +Vardaman watched them absently for some time, while the swift wind +refreshed his house; then he remembered Teddy, whom he had refused to +leave alone, slammed the door and went upstairs. + +The young man was sleeping heavily, spread out upon the doctor's staid +old four-post bed; not in years, if ever, had that respectable piece +of furniture witnessed such a spectacle, and the doctor had a quaint +fancy that it withdrew itself shudderingly from the contamination. +It had been his mother's, and a kind of feminine severity appeared +in its starched and ruffled valance, as of indignant petticoats. He +leaned over and scanned Teddy's face, holding his own chin in his hand, +with knotted brows; then he felt the sleeper's pulse, listened to his +thick breathing, shook his head with a perplexed look, and began +mechanically to gather up the clothes thrown here and there about the +room. He went back and surveyed the bed again. "Very strange," said +Doctor Vardaman. And again: "Very strange!" + +He went downstairs, and, not without a sardonic grin, brought up a +pitcher of ice-water, and placed it in readiness on the little old +mahogany candle-stand at the sufferer's right hand. The dining-room +was a woeful picture as he re-entered it. In the middle of the table, +the pyramid of jellies and cream had partly dissolved and trickled +down to mix with a waste of crumbled cake, cigar-stumps and ashes, +nut-shells, soiled napkins, shattered china--the doctor sat down +amid the desolation, likening himself to Marius among the ruins of +Carthage. There was a dreary odour--an odour? A _stench_, Doctor +Vardaman vigorously characterised it--of stale wine, stale coffee, +stale tobacco. Fragments of cheese swam in pudding-sauce; spent +bottles cumbered the sideboard; the door was open into the kitchen, +affording a vista of plates piled in tottering heaps, pots and pans +crowded on the cold range, a bowl of dishwater crowned with scum in +the sink, half-eaten meats and vegetables stiffening grimly in lakes +of discoloured gravy. "Faugh!" said the doctor in strong distaste, and +closed the door on the depressing scene. He sat down in his place at +the head of the table. Huddesley would have a job of cleaning up this +squalid hole on the morrow, he thought, and wondered how the man was +getting on in his new sphere; smiled, too, as he reflected that the +dream of Huddesley's life was being fulfilled. He had wanted to be +a "hactor," and indeed he had some turn that way, poor creature! It +was strange to think how unequally the gifts of Fate are distributed: +now there was Huddesley, an honest man, not at all a dull man, who, +if he had been born in any class but the servant class, even in a +less respectable one, might have made more of himself! That inherited +attitude of servility was a greater bar to his advancement than dulness +or vice; in America it might have been different; we have no definite +classes, and no traditions of behaviour. But in England a man who +habitually says "sir," and drops his _h's_--here the old gentleman came +bolt upright in his chair, upon a sudden moving recollection. Huddesley +had not dropped a single _h_ nor added one on, since assuming Teddy's +character! During all the talk that had followed his proposal, and +when he had hurriedly recited for them a number of Teddy's speeches, +his accent had nowise differed from their own. The fact, noted in +some obscure corner of the doctor's brain, now in the silence of the +vacant room, obtruded itself with an unwelcome insistence. It was +a slight thing, yet of a curious significance; a person could not +thus at will abandon the habit of a lifetime. Say it were not such a +habit, what then? Why, then the dialect was put on, like a garment; +and for what reason? If that was the case, Huddesley was by far too +much of a "hactor" to be officiating in the doctor's kitchen. We +do not look for, nor somehow relish so much versatility in one of +Huddesley's degree. Doctor Vardaman's thoughts hardly proceeded in +so orderly a sequence as they have been here set down, but by vague +speculative turns and windings they reached the last conclusion. He +began uncomfortably to review the manner of his engaging Huddesley, +and was startled to realise how little he actually knew of the man, +how haphazard had been his methods of hiring servants. "I'll write +to that Lord Whatever-his-name-was to-morrow," he told himself--and +then had to smile a little at this access of belated caution. The +whole thing, of course, was capable of some very simple explanation, +he thought impatiently, unwilling to own himself baffled; there was +not necessarily a dark, bloody mystery about a person's speaking in +dialect one moment and in the queen's English the next. It might be +that Huddesley was the exiled black sheep of some decent, even gentle +family--well, perhaps, not a black sheep, but at least a brindled one, +not good enough for the station to which he had been born, too good for +that to which he had sunk; stranger things than that have happened. +He had told a perfectly straight story; even if it were an invention, +that, so long as the man behaved himself, was no concern of Doctor +Vardaman's. "And when he misbehaves," said the doctor inwardly, "why, +then, like Dogberry, I'll let him go, and thank God I am rid of a +knave! I don't believe he _is_ a knave, but certainly I've always had +an idea he was no ordinary man. Maybe I'd better have a talk with him +to-morrow." + +Now that suspicion, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say, a +kind of doubting curiosity, had been aroused in the doctor's mind, +it would not down; a dozen instances of slips or inconsistencies in +Huddesley's conduct thronged upon him. He sat a long while, frowning +in uncomfortable recollection; then got up at last, and halfway to +the mantelpiece to get a cigar, paused again in puzzled meditation +with his gaze on the floor. At his feet there lay the broken bits +of Teddy's final glass in a sticky morass of Mynheer Van der Cuyp's +wine, that calamitous beverage, seeped into the nap of the carpet. +Doctor Vardaman gathered up the largest pieces gingerly, and tried +to fit them together; that set of glasses had been his mother's when +she went to housekeeping. It was beyond mending, however, and he was +on the point of tossing the shards into a waste-basket, when a fresh +discovery restrained him. He sniffed at them, sniffed his fingers, got +down on all-fours and laboriously sniffed the stained carpet. He rose; +"Teddy didn't drink that glass," he said aloud. "He only drank the +first one Huddesley gave him. But he had been drinking all evening." He +smelled at some other glasses standing near the young man's place, but +apparently could make nothing of them. He went hesitatingly toward the +door of a little room opening upon the hall, and at the very threshold +wavered in indecision. "Oh, this is all foolishness," he said. "How +could Huddesley--what possible motive----?" He opened the door. It +was a dark, windowless place, little more than a closet, which the +doctor had put to all sorts of uses, experimenting with chemicals, +photographic plates, raising mushrooms, the hundred-and-one devices of +industrious idleness. Everything there was in a kind of handy masculine +disorder, and he often boasted that he could go there in the dark and +pick up whatever he wanted without a moment's hesitation. But now he +struck a match, and ran an anxious eye along the shelves; he breathed a +little freer when he discerned the bottle he sought in its accustomed +place with contents undisturbed; it was colourless stuff. "All fancy! +I'm getting as notional as an old woman," he said to himself, and was +turning away, when some second thought prompted him to reach the bottle +down from the shelf. His match had gone out; the doctor went into the +parlour, where all the gas-jets were burning wastefully high, and some +red tulips he had bought that afternoon to decorate his banquet flagged +miserably in the old French china vases. He deliberately removed the +cork, smelled it, hesitated, touched the bottle to his tongue. "Well, +I'll be----," he ejaculated, facing his own pale and perturbed image in +the old-fashioned gilt mantel-glass. + +Doctor Vardaman did not finish saying what he would be, but with a +mechanical precision, poured the rest of the liquid into a vase of +tulips. "There wasn't enough there to hurt him," he said thoughtfully. +"I _thought_ he didn't seem like a plain drunk somehow. He'll be pretty +sick when he comes to, but he'd be that anyway." He sought a cigar, +and sat down by the fireless grate with his hands on his knees. "The +question is, what next?" said he. "What is the bottom of all this? And +what on earth ought I to do?" + +The old gentleman smoked his cigar out with his queries unanswered, and +sat staring intently at the mantel-board, his mind travelling up and +down in a fog of doubt and futile conjecture. The mantel-board exactly +fitted the opening of the fireplace, and was covered with pale green +wall-paper, having an arabesque border in white and gold all around +the edges, and in the middle a design of a Watteau gentleman and lady +kissing beside a fountain at the foot of a flight of marble steps with +a temple in the background. Clouds, roses, swans, butterflies and +turtle-doves contributed to the scene, and on a ribbon scroll beneath +one read: "_Dolce far niente._" It was an interesting mantel-board and +at least fifty years old. The doctor stared so long and so hard that +presently he experienced no surprise at finding himself on his way to +morning-service at the temple with a bunch of tulips in one hand and +a bottle of Mynheer Van der Cuyp's wine labelled somewhat erratically +"CAUTION. POISON. _Antidote, very strong black coffee_," in the other. +He was obliged to take passage in a boat with old Mrs. Botlisch, and +when Huddesley came around to collect the fare, discovered to his +mild annoyance that he had omitted to put on his trousers--a lapse +from conventionality which nobody else noticed, however. There arose +a terrific storm of thunder mainly, and someone began to be very +seasick--and--and---- + +And then the doctor waked up, with a jerk and the well-known but +perfectly indefinable feeling of lateness in the air. He looked around +blinking. Certain dismal sounds from the bedroom overhead accounted for +one feature of his dream, and a fusillade of knocks on the front door +supplied the thunder. "Why, I believe I've been asleep!" said Doctor +Vardaman, slowly collecting his faculties. A pause, and then more +knocking; voices muttered together, feet went to and fro on his porch, +somebody fumbled for the bell-handle, struck a match and found it, and +directly the bell sent forth a shattering broadside of sound in the +waste and deserted kitchen. "I'm coming!" shouted the doctor, adding a +brief anathema under his breath, and went to the door. Outside the rain +had ceased, but a wet wind shook and tip-toed among the trees. There +was a ghostly twilight abroad; it was possible dimly to descry the +outlines of the landscape. Stationary before his gate the lamps of a +carriage burned dimly. It was dawn! The doctor repressed an exclamation +of surprise and turned to his visitors. There were three of them; one +was a policeman in a shining waterproof cape-coat; he was a head and +shoulders above the others, and stood back from them deferentially as +one in the presence of his superiors. Before a word was spoken Doctor +Vardaman observed confusedly that all three drew together, and closed +up in front of the opening door, and the policeman shortened his grasp +on the baton he carried. + +"Somebody hurt?" inquired the doctor, following up the first idea +suggested by this apparition. He was met by a counter question. + +"Doctor Vardaman?" said the foremost. The doctor looked at him. He was +a commonplace man in commonplace clothes, stoutly-built and active, +with rather hard features and quick black eyes. The other might have +been his twin, save for a certain youthfulness in his alert gaze; he +leaned against the door-post chewing the fag end of a dead cigar. +There was a vague hostility in the appearance of these people; in the +unbecoming light of early morning, everyone wore a haggard and unkempt +air, except the burly fresh-faced policeman in his trim wet-weather +gear. + +"I am Doctor Vardaman," said the old gentleman. "Is anyone hurt or +sick?" + +"No, it's all right, Doc., take it easy, nobody's needin' you," said +the first speaker. "Sorry to knock you up this time o' night, but it +couldn't be helped. If my train had 'a' got in on time, I'd 'a' been +here not much after supper; but we're just in, I come right up from the +deepo. I gotta hump myself, or I wouldn't 'a' thought o' disturbin' +you. Here's my card. Say, you got a man named Huddesley, ain't you?" + +"Huddesley?" echoed the doctor, in helpless bewilderment. During the +above speech, which had been delivered in a brisk, authoritative, but +carefully lowered voice, the speaker had walked in without the ceremony +of waiting to be asked, and now stood in the middle of the hall, +apparently inventorying everything in it with a swift and practised +eye. His subordinates followed, the policeman halting at the door-mat +and respectfully wiping his shoes. + +"Yes, Huddesley, had him about eight or ten weeks, ain't you? Little +dark, stocky fellow; talks like he was English; says he was butler to +the nobility over there--ain't that him? Is he in the house now?" + +"I don't think so," said the doctor, at once disturbed and resentful. +"He had to go out this evening. If you will oblige me with your name, +sir, and the object of this visit----?" + +"You got it there on the card," said the other. "Take your time, Doc., +don't go off at half-cock. I know it's kinder sudden, and I'm sorry, +but I guess I'll have to pinch your man. Where is he? Where'd he go? +Don't you know whether he's in or not? Who's that upstairs?" + +"That is a guest of mine who is ill," said the doctor with rising +irritation. "If you will please to explain, sir----" + +"I gotta hump myself, or I wouldn't 'a' bothered you, Doc.," said the +man, civilly enough. "Soon's you've got the sleep outa your eyes, you +can just look at that card I give you. We ain't goin' to make _you_ +any trouble, you know, any more'n we can help, that is. Where's his +room? Upstairs? To the back? Go up there and look, Judd. Here, you, +one-o'-the-finest, what's your name?" + +"Clancy, sor," said the policeman, and put a finger to his helmet. + +"Go 'round to the back, and keep your eye out. I'll stay here. Is there +any other outside-doors, Doc.?" + +"No," said the doctor shortly. "Is--ah--is this your card, sir?" + +"Keep your shirt on," said the other soothingly. "You're comin' along +by the slow freight, but you'll get there directly. Go easy, and when +you're through readin' let me know." + +The doctor, diverting his astounded mind from the spectacle of a +strange man of uncouth appearance and no manners giving orders in his +house, and another strange man going upstairs seemingly to search it, +adjusted his glasses and bringing them to bear on the card which the +leader had thrust into his passive hand, read: + + + JOHN P. HOPPLE, Collector. + Mercantile and Commercial Protective Association. + + D. B. stands for Dead Beats. B. D. stands for Bad Debts. We + collect Bad Debts from Dead Beats everywhere for everybody. We + can collect yours. We collect regardless of Lodge, Politics, or + Religion. Do business with us and we will both make money. + + _Some people don't like us._ + + +"Ain't nobody up there," said the ancient, returning from the +exploration of Doctor Vardaman's upper rooms. "Except the sick dude in +the front room. Say, maybe he ain't been on a bat, ain't he? Oh, no, I +guess not!" + +"Do I understand that Huddesley has got himself in trouble owing +someone?" asked Doctor Vardaman, finding the situation somewhat +illuminated. "It appears to me, Mr.--er"--he glanced again at the +card--"Mr. Hopple, it appears to me that your methods of collecting are +unduly--shall I say vigorous? To rout people out at this hour--I've no +doubt the man would have paid you without all this to-do. What is the +amount, if I may----" + +"Say, ain't you barking up the wrong tree?" interrupted the other, +eying him in perplexity. "Or--here--say, that's funny, I give you the +wrong card. Excuse _me_, Doc., my mistake. That's a man's business-card +I met in the smoker coming from N'Yawk. This is _me_. Just read that, +will you? It's all square, Doc., I've got a reference--and Judd here's +from your own p'lice headquarters anyhow." + +Again the doctor applied himself to a card and found thereon the +following legend: + + + WILLIAM O. GRIMM. + Paterson Detective Bureau. + "We never sleep." + + +It was hardly reassuring, in spite of the last statement; but before +Doctor Vardaman had sufficiently collected himself to ask for further +enlightenment, the policeman appeared in the doorway. + +"Why--er--say," he remarked, "there's a party in a hack outside here +wants to know the way to Colonel Pallinder's. I told him that there +big house standin' back with them big pillows up the front, ain't that +right?" + +"That's the place," said the doctor, half-listening. + +"An' why--er--say, he said he see by the papers they was a party at +Colonel Pallinder's to-night and do you guess they've gone to bed yet, +becos he's met a lot o' kerridges comin' away from this di-rection like +it was over, an' he'd like to get there, becos he's gotta hump, he +says." + +"Blamed if that ain't Hopple!" exclaimed the detective, in admiring +wonder. "Well, don't that beat the Dutch!" + +"They ain't but that one Pallinder in town, is there?" asked the +policeman. "He says if they's anybody up yet, he's going to hump right +along and ketch 'em." + +"Somebody may not have gone to bed yet," said the doctor, sparing a +moment from his own muddled affairs to wonder what this late arrival, +and energy of pursuit might mean. "In fact it seems my man Huddesley +has not got back from there yet. Tell him to drive straight on and turn +to the right at the gate. Did you say you were looking for Huddesley, +Mr. Grimm? What for?" + +"Why, for a number o' things, Doc., bustin' up a safe at the Farmers' +an' Traders' Bank o' Sharontown, Missouri, an' makin' a get-away with +the specie, thirty-two hundred dollars in coin an' greenbacks, for one +thing. That was in July, 1881. If he's the man I'm looking for, his +name's Tuttle, or Cohen, or Jimmy the Toff--he goes by all of 'em--and +he's wanted in Boston besides for a jewelry-shop job last year." + +Doctor Vardaman gazed speechless. Mr. Grimm's words, delivered in a +dry, curt, and entirely unsensational manner, fairly rattled about +the old gentleman's ears like hail. He was conscious of anger, of +resentment, and in the same breath of a ghastly and growing conviction. + +"Impossible!" he gasped; and then felt involuntarily for his +cuff-buttons. "Jewelry-shop job! You mean Huddesley's a thief!" + +"Put it there," said the detective, nodding encouragingly. + +"Good Lord! Why--I--I can't believe it. He's been in my house for over +two months, and I've never missed a thing!" + +"I guess you didn't have nothing worth while," said Grimm, casting the +glance of a connoisseur about him. "He thought it was a good place to +hide, or else he was fixing to bring off some other job." + +"That's what!" said Judd briefly. + +"I--I--it don't seem as if it _could_ be! Don't you think there's some +mistake?" + +"Not likely," said Judd, without emotion. "I spotted him that time I +come up here peddlin' collar-buttons--t'ain't more'n two weeks ago--an' +I'll bet anything he spotted me, too. He's pretty fly, that fellow." + +Mr. Grimm produced a bundle of papers from the inside pocket of his +coat, fished out a bit of pasteboard and held it before the doctor's +eyes. "That him?" he queried. + +Doctor Vardaman surveyed it a while in silence. "I'm afraid so," he +said at last, with a sigh. "This is clean-shaven, and Huddesley wears +mutton chop side-whiskers, but it's the same face, undoubtedly." + +The detective nodded with a satisfied air, and returned the photograph +to its place. He repeated his former question. "Did you say he'd gone +out? Was it to this party to-night? How'd that happen?" + +"The--the circumstances are a little peculiar," said the doctor. +"Won't you sit down, Mr. Grimm? The fact is the young gentlemen of the +party--it's an entertainment, private theatricals--were dining with me, +and one of them was taken sick----" + +"The feller upstairs, hey?" interposed Mr. Judd, smiling slightly. + +"Ahem--yes. Well, then, Huddesley, who knew his part, volunteered +to take his place in the play, you understand. It was a great +accommodation----" + +"Hold on a minute. Didn't it strike you as kinder queer he should 'a' +been so well up in the stage-business? Fact is, he _has_ been an actor, +he's been pretty nearly everything, but you didn't know that of course. +But didn't you ever have any suspicions?" + +"Well, I had always thought the man was rather--rather unusual--a +little above his station, perhaps. But _this_! It never occurred to me. +You may have heard that there was an attempt at robbing the Pallinder +residence this winter, and Huddesley was one of the first to discover +it, and rouse the----" + +He paused, seeing the two detectives exchange a meaning glance. "Told +you so," said Judd. He got up, walked to the door, spat into the porch, +and returned to his seat. "I was _on_--not right off, but pretty soon," +said he. "Go ahead, Doc., you say Huddesley took your friend's part in +the play----" + +"I suppose he had seen these young men go through their parts a dozen +times. It didn't seem at all odd to us; it would be a long story to go +into all the details, but we--we found it most fortunate that he could +supply the sick man's place. I wish to say, Mr. Grimm, that I have no +cause, personally, to complain of Huddesley. His conduct since he has +been with me has been most exemplary, I have never observed anything +suspicious----" + +The doctor came to a dead stand-still, for at that moment his discovery +of the evening flashed into his mind with inconvenient abruptness. + +"You're a kind-hearted man, sir," said Grimm, with warmth, "to say what +you can for the fellow, but I've got his record. It's queer he ain't +back yet." He looked at his watch. "They keep it up pretty late, don't +they? It's after three." He got up briskly. "I guess we'd better leave +Clancy here, Judd, an' go on up to the house. Looks to me like that'd +ought to be our next move. All ready?" He stood a moment frowning over +some new thought. "This here party, Doc., I guess it was goin' to be +pretty swell, wasn't it? I mean ladies all diked out with diamond +earrings an' breast-pins, hey?" + +Doctor Vardaman, gripping the arms of his chair hard, stared at the +detective transfixed. If the various revelations which had visited the +old gentleman during the last moment had assumed the concrete, tangible +form of so many successive clubbings, he could not have been more +stunned. And in the ensuing short silence, Teddy's voice could be heard +upstairs mournfully requesting more ice-water for God's sake. + +"Got himself good and tanked, didn't he?" said the detective, grinning. + +"Mr. Grimm," said the doctor, with difficulty, "I have reason to +believe that my young friend has been drugged. I think Huddesley found +something among some few medicines I keep--it was a preparation of +chloroform--and put it in his wine. I happened to examine the bottle, +and it had been filled up with water. And the young man's glass smelled +perceptibly of the stuff--I was at a loss to account for it--why +Huddesley should want to drug him, I mean, but I--I am beginning to +understand. And--wait a minute!" he interposed as both of the others +opened their mouths on a question. "In one of the plays which they were +to perform, there is a question of some diamonds being stolen--the plot +turns on that episode, in fact. Jewels were loaned for the young people +to use--very costly ones. I am told Mrs. Pallinder's necklace alone is +valued at----" + +"Told you so!" shouted Judd, starting to his feet. Grimm quieted him +with a gesture. "Well?" he said. + +"Teddy's part--the part Huddesley contrived to get himself substituted +in, was that of a butler who steals the diamonds----" + +"_Well_, WELL?" + +"Well, sir, he would have them on his person, in his possession, at his +mercy, for the last two acts, the better part of an hour----" + +"_And he ain't back yet!_" screeched Mr. William O. Grimm. He made a +frantic gesture. "Have they got a telephone? Where's your telephone?" + +"I have none," said the doctor, feeling as if he were confessing to +arson. "The nearest is the drug-store corner of----" + +Mr. Grimm uttered an oath direct and brilliant as a lightning-stroke. +Then he commanded himself with an effort. "Judd!" he bawled, making for +the door, and even in headlong flight, discharged a shaft of melancholy +satire: "No telephone! Say, Doc., it's a good ways to Broadway, ain't +it?" said he, and waved a farewell. "So long! Many thanks! See you +later!" He flashed forth from the house, his retainer at his heels. The +doctor saw their tumultuous passage down the walk, saw them scramble, +clamber, struggle into the waiting hack, saw it hurl upon its way +with vociferations--and silence fell like a blow. There stood Doctor +Vardaman and the policeman staring at each other in the empty porch. + +"That fellow can hump, can't he?" said Clancy admiringly. "You just +_gotta_ where he comes from. Tell you, New York's th' place!" + + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY + + +Before "William Tell" was half over it became evident that Teddy's +place was more than filled. There were those among the audience who +assured me later that they had penetrated the disguise early in the +performance; but, if so, they exhibited rare powers of self-control, +for they did not remark upon it at the time, nor indeed until the whole +calamitous story had come out and been town-talk for days. Some queer +_esprit de corps_ kept the girls from spreading the miserable truth +about Teddy. Sick! We knew only too well what was the matter with him; +but that was no reason why we should proclaim it to the world. We +entered into the conspiracy of silence, partly from a real generosity +of spirit and desire to shield the poor fellow, and partly because, +as Mazie sagaciously pointed out, talking about it would certainly +discredit a girl (in a manner of speaking) with the other men. Mazie +undoubtedly possessed some of the qualities of a born leader, among +them that of getting herself listened to, without being either +disagreeable or ridiculous; no one of us, not even Kitty, would have +questioned her knowledge of men and their ways. We knew a dozen who +were prettier, better bred, cleverer, and kinder than Mazie Pallinder, +but, when it came to influence, they were nowhere beside her. Even +now, I believe if she came into my life again, with her sallow, +paint-touched face, her slip-shod pronunciation, her odd flat black +eyes, her ineffably appropriate and beautiful clothes--I say, even now, +I should probably follow and imitate her as I did then! + +But when the curtain went up on "Mrs. Tankerville's Tiara," and the +moment arrived when Huddesley must appear as Teddy with no disguise +save that of a livery and false whiskers, we trembled for the success +of the deception. We might have spared our worry; Huddesley came on +in the ballroom scene with which the play opened, handing a tray of +ices--and he was so like Teddy in face and movements that even upon the +stage where the devices of his make-up could be studied close at hand, +the effect was startling. _Plus roi que le roi_, he was; he passed his +tray not like a butler imitating a gentleman, but like a gentleman +imitating a butler; he dropped his _h's_ and stumblingly forgot to +drop them with all Teddy's humorous self-consciousness. He managed his +double part so well, no light task even for a finished actor, that +he achieved a kind of equality with us; we forgot that he was Doctor +Vardaman's servant. The thing was so much a matter for gratulations +that I think we scarcely remembered it was also a matter for wonder. If +J. B. or the other men felt any uneasiness they did not reveal it; but, +so ingenuously self-centred is youth, it is probable we were much too +deeply interested, everyone in his own appearance and the impression he +was making, to be genuinely concerned about anybody else. + +The audience about whom I had had such fearsome fancies must have +been singularly lenient, even more so than such audiences usually are +to such performers. My recollection is that, excepting Huddesley, we +were too bad even to be funny. "Mrs. Tankerville" is a good stirring +comedy-drama, of the type Boucicault and Tom Taylor made so popular +during the quarter-century succeeding 1850; there is an abundance of +vivid dialogue, with plenty of "points," and plenty of "situations." +But what it all became in our hands is a dire memory. Mazie, it is +true, made a splendid figure on the stage, and was quite dashing and +theatrical, but she forgot two-thirds of her lines, and in the great +scene where she accused Muriel of the robbery, had to be prompted at +every other word. And Muriel--well, there was no blinking the fact, +Muriel was a "stick." She was so big and gentle and honest-looking +that no sane person in stage-land or out of it, could have suspected +her for a moment of anything more criminal, say, than hopping into +bed to say her prayers because her feet were cold! The excitement +flushed her so that it was visible through her paint, and she did not +look so statuesquely calm and finished as usual; nervousness, which +is unbecoming to everybody, set particularly ill on a person of her +weight and inches. She knew every word of her part, and recited it with +the conscientiousness which she would have shown to the Catechism--and +with much the same expression! She replied to Mazie's halting tirades +in the tone and with the air of someone declining a cup of afternoon +tea. "Will you drive me into the street?" she remarked amiably, and her +manner suggested: "Well, all right, just wait till I get my hat on!" +Kitty mimicked her in the bedroom, until the rest of us were feeble +with laughter. Owing to Colonel Pallinder's forethought, the machinery +of the curtain and footlights worked perfectly, and the stage-settings +were orderly and accurate; but aside from these, every accident known +to the production of amateur theatricals befell us. At one juncture, +when there should have been a "loud crash" behind the scenes, none +occurred, no one in particular having been entrusted with that feature +of the performance; and, in the midst of a dead silence, Jimmie +Hathaway found himself obliged to exclaim, "Good Heavens! What is all +that infernal din about?" To make matters worse, some over-zealous +person immediately thereon made a "loud crash," and Jimmie, lacking the +presence of mind to repeat his former remark, went on with the next +speech: "Everything is quiet as the grave, now. What could it have +been?" The general verdict was that J. B. did very well, even in the +love-scenes where we had thought he would make a failure of it; but +J. B. was deservedly popular anyway. He triumphed by sheer force of +personality. The young fellow was so kind and hearty and good-looking +he could not but be pleasing. Whatever applause "Mrs. Tankerville" +brought forth (and that of a sadly feeble and perfunctory nature, I +fear) went to him, and none of us grudged it. + +The play has three acts, and our much-enduring audience had sat through +two of them, when Huddesley waylaid Mazie behind the scenes as she +was rushing back for one of her numerous changes of costume. These +afforded a species of entertainment that was "not in the bill," as some +humourist observed; "Mrs. Tankerville's" clothes were one of the few +points of real interest about the performance. + +"Miss Pallinder?" said Huddesley, timidly halting in her way. + +"Yes, what is it?" + +"Here's the di'monds," said Huddesley, presenting the box, done up for +the sake of stage-effect in a rather large and lumbering parcel. "I've +been carrying 'em around like you told me to, so they'd be safe. I +didn't want to give 'em to hanybody but you, and I've got to go now. +You know I don't have to show again, except where Mr. Taylor comes in +and sees me in the mirror, and plugs me over with the pistol-shot, and +then they drag me out from behind the screen. And I thought anybody +could put on the clothes for that, as long as the audience don't see +anything but just a body----" + +"Yes, but what's the matter? Why can't you finish?" asked Mazie, a +little startled. She took the box mechanically, and edged toward her +room. + +"If you please, ma'am, I ain't feelin' very well. I think maybe it's +the wet cold night. It's just come over me--I've got a kind of bad turn +on the stomach and----" + +"Oh, I'm so sorry," interrupted Mazie, fearful from his manner that +Huddesley was about to enter on some embarrassing details. "Better go +down and ask my father for some whisky--he's in the dining-room--tell +him I sent you. But what shall we do--oh, Mr. Carson?" + +The enslaved Chorus, who figured in a small part in "Mrs. Tankerville," +approached; he was always hanging around whenever Mazie went on or +left the stage, in hopes of a word. But the girl now saw him, to her +surprise, in overcoat and hat. + +"You're not going?" she asked, with a pang of regret; she wished, +momentarily, that she had been "nicer" to him. Whether a woman cares +for a man or not, she never sees him leave her without dismay. "You're +not going?" said Mazie, directing a troubled and wistful smile upon him. + +"Can't help it, Miss Pallinder," said Bob, warming to the very marrow +at her glance. "I--I hate to awfully. But it's getting late, you know, +and I've got to meet my sister; her train will be in about midnight." + +"Oh, it's not that yet." + +"Pretty near." + +"But, Mr. Carson, I don't know what we--I don't know what I shall do +without you. I haven't anybody to go to but you. Such a pity about Mr. +Johns, isn't it--his being taken sick, I mean--it's upset everything +dreadfully. Here's Huddesley----" + +Huddesley explained volubly--"And if you, or somebody of the young +gentlemen could just put on the clothes, Mr. Robert, the audience will +never know the difference; they don't see anything but the body when +they drag me out after Mr. Taylor's shot me. I've got a bad turn on my +stomach and----" + +"All right," said Bob hastily. "Is that package the diamonds? They have +to find 'em on you, don't they? Here, I'll do it--I guess I can make +the train anyhow. Come along and get the costume off, Huddesley, you +want to hurry." + +Mazie stopped him, with a hand on his arm. "Oh, Mr. Carson, we--I ought +to give Huddesley something, oughtn't I? For coming this evening? It +was very accommodating, you know, he isn't like a darky servant. What +ought I to give him? Five dollars? Ten dollars?" she whispered, with a +manner of special confidence that was like a caress to the young man. + +"Never mind, Ma--Miss Pallinder," he said, absurdly tremulous and +excited. "I'll see about it--don't worry--it's like you to think of +it--you're so--that is----" words forsook him. "I'll fix Huddesley, you +know," he faltered, chafing privately at the limitations of etiquette +and the English language. Mazie rewarded him with a long look, and +walked off. + +By this time, in the crowded area behind the scenes, what with gas-jets +burning full head on, the smell of cookery coming up the back stairs, +sawdust, recent paint, cut flowers, innumerable other odours perfectly +impossible to classify, the air had grown well-nigh unbearable. +Everybody was overheated and out of temper; the play dragged on +stupidly. I went down to the second landing for a breath of fresh air, +and was standing there by the open window, in, I suppose, the only +quiet and cool spot in the whole house, when someone came with a rush +down the stairs. It was Huddesley. I remember being struck, as I turned +and saw him, with the sharp rigidity of his features; devoid of paint +and false beard, they resembled a parchment mask. There was an animal +swiftness in his movements, yet he stopped short as we faced, taking +the last three steps with an air of leisure, and a certain reckless +and impudent triumph in his glance. He had something in his hand, and +I recall the jaunty motion with which he tossed and caught it--it was +a gold coin--and thrust it deep in his pocket; Bob's money, no doubt, +but I knew nothing of that, and seeing the man pause, looked at him +inquiringly "Why, if there ain't little tootsie that I made a face at!" +he said. "Sorry I scared you, toots! Bye-bye!" And while I yet stood in +a helpless stupor of surprise, passed an arm around my bare shoulders, +twitched my chin into his hand, and--he was gone with a laugh, out of +the house, and out of our lives! I may fairly say that of all that +company I was the last to have any dealings with Huddesley; and I took +care, as may be imagined, that no one else should know the picturesque +circumstances of his departure. Fortunately my testimony was not +necessary, was not even asked. He went, and the night received him into +its dark world of wet and wind and tossing branches. No exit could have +been more appropriate, more typical. + +A moment later the thunderous rumble of chairs and outburst of voices +overhead announced that "Mrs. Tankerville's Tiara" had at last run +its disastrous course. It was very late; "William Tell" had not begun +until nearly ten o'clock, and the encores had taken up a good deal of +time. The second play had not been prolonged by undue enthusiasm from +the audience, at any rate; yet I doubt if they were as weary of it as +we. It hung on in spite of us; the speeches that we had heard till +flesh and spirit fairly recoiled from the sound of them (and yet no one +knew his own!) simply would _not_ get themselves said. We had reached +the mood when we hated the smooth and conscientious politeness of our +hearers. + +"Up at the 'Peoples' they'd guy this thing off the stage," one young +man said to another. "And serves us right, too!" + +"I wish to goodness we'd stopped with 'Tell,' the audience wouldn't +have been so tired----" + +"Audience! It's a congregation!" said Kitty Oldham savagely. "And I'm +glad the obsequies are over. 'Mrs. Tankerville' is dead and buried--for +mercy's sake, don't anyone mention her name to me again!" + +"You did awfully well, Miss Kitty--you reminded me of Lotta." + +"Of course," said Kitty with neat sarcasm. "Now go and tell Muriel she +reminded you of Bernhardt!" + +"She looked more like Mrs. Langtry, didn't she?" said her companion +diplomatically. "But Miss Pallinder now did have a kind of likeness to +Bernhardt, she's so tall and thin. I thought she was stunning in that +red dress and the diamonds--why didn't she put them on again? Right at +the end there, where they find them, I mean?" + +"I don't know, unless she wanted to shorten up the last scene, and get +through. She said she was going to give them back to her mother as soon +as it was over." + +"Mrs. Pallinder's not wearing them, though. What became of Huddesley +toward the last there?" + +"Mazie said he had to go, the doctor had sent for him or something, I +didn't catch what it was. That was Bob in his clothes, you know." + +"Say, Teddy's had a lot of substitutes this evening, hasn't he? Do you +suppose anyone suspects?" + +"Nobody's said anything to me anyhow." + +"Hello, here's Capoul!"[6] + +"Oh, Capoul--Rats!" said Bob, reddening with vexation. He had a +secret conviction that a tenor voice lacked manliness, and mistook +the felicitations of his friends for artfully disguised raillery. +"People will be poking that 'La-_hee_-ho' business at me from now till +doomsday, I suppose." + +"We were just wondering if anyone knew about Ted." + +"Guess not; I haven't heard anybody say a word about it." + +"Look here, how do you happen to be here yet, my son? I thought you +said you had to go and meet Susie." + +"Well, I do, but not right away. I got one of the cab-drivers +outside--there's about fifty of 'em, you never saw such a jam in +your life--to go down to the drug-store and telephone, and they say +the train from New York won't be in till two o'clock or after. Tell +you, the telephone's an institution, isn't it? It's like Jules Verne +coming true; they say they'll have 'em all over in private houses and +everywhere before long. Have you seen Miss Pallinder? I've got this +next waltz--oh, there she is with her mother." + +He drifted off, and Kitty gave her partner a meaning look. "Bob means +business, I guess," said the latter, returning it. + +His hostess welcomed the young man with a wan vivacity. "How do you +do, Mr. Carson? This is the first chance I've had to congratulate you. +Everybody did _so_ well. You were especially good at the last." + +Undoubtedly Mrs. Pallinder was not her usual suave and confident self +that night; her attention wandered. She had forgot what part Bob took, +and there was no graciousness in her fixed smile; it might have been +painted on her face like some of her other adornments. + +"The last was the best part of the whole performance, I guess, for the +audience," said Bob, grinning. "That was me they dragged in from behind +the screen, you know. It's not everybody that can make believe to be +dead as artistically as I can. I'm the second-assistant-deputy-Ted +Johns. Miss Pallinder told you about Huddesley, didn't she? She said +you knew." + +"Yes--very unfortunate, wasn't it?" said Mrs. Pallinder, smiling +mechanically. "I mean fortunate, of course--that he could take Mr. +Johns' part, that is. Did you--have you got my necklace, Mr. Carson?" + +"Me? Why, no," said Bob, in surprise. "They were supposed to find the +jewels on _Jenks'_ body, you know, in a bundle, and Miss Pallinder took +them. Don't you remember where she says: 'Oh, my tiara! That poor +child! What has become of her?'" + +Mrs. Pallinder ought to have remembered it, for Mazie had begun with: +"'Oh, my child! That poor tiara, what has become of it?'" so that a +number of the audience and nearly all the actors had been extinguished +in giggles. But she only said vaguely, "Oh, ah, yes, I believe there +was something of the kind said. Mazie, honey, I've just been asking Mr. +Carson what he had done with the tiara, the necklace, I mean--I reckon +he thinks _I_ think he's stolen it!" + +"Oh, I didn't even undo the parcel," said Mazie languidly. "I just +pretended to on the stage. I couldn't worry around with the thing. +That play's too long anyhow; I cut it short right at the end there on +purpose. We had the necklace all twisted up on wires, you know. I just +pitched it into the bureau-drawer and locked it up. It's safe." + +"I'm afraid you're tired," said Bob, as Mrs. Pallinder, with a return +of her accustomed tact, moved unobtrusively away. "I'm afraid you're +worn out," repeated the young fellow tenderly. "You had the hardest +part of anybody." + +FOOTNOTE: + +[6] Happening to mention Capoul the other day, I discovered that none +of my hearers remembered that dashing _Faust_, _Count Almaviva_, +_Romeo_ of twenty-five years ago. "And who was Capoul?" their blank +looks seemed to ask. _Sic transit gloria!_--M. S. W. + + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE + + +It was over at last--the party was over; like everything else in life, +things had turned out neither quite so good nor quite so bad as we had +expected. "Mrs. Tankerville" was a failure--but then "William Tell" +had been a success, so the score was even. The curtain had gone down +on both of them, and was about to descend upon another little drama, +if we had known it. Everyone said the evening was a great success, one +more feather in the Pallinder crown; downstairs, under the colonel's +benevolent supervision, limitless champagne flowed; the supper was a +triumph; the german one of the prettiest ever danced. Muriel led with +J. B., and some of the older people stayed to see it, and talked for +days afterwards about the favours Mazie had brought from New York; +the figure where the men got little silver pencil-cases and the girls +painted gauze fans; and that other figure where they all looked so +pretty with Japanese parasols and paper lanterns; and the figure where +they had the Easter eggs--that was charming! But it was all over at +last; blank dreariness and silence settled upon the ballroom, the +last carriage rumbled away, the musicians sacked and boxed up their +instruments and disappeared, featureless and unremarked, along with +the caterers' men rattling their dishes, and banging amongst their +folding chairs--"into the dark went one and all." They left behind +a tired and not too good-tempered mob of young people; on the stage +and behind it everything was in a frenzied disorder; and when in the +pinched and colourless small hours, we went yawning to our beds, those +useful articles of furniture were hardly to be found cumbered as they +were with wreckage. There were hats, dresses, damp towels, artificial +flowers and withering natural ones, slippers and odd stockings, soiled +and tumbled veils, handkerchiefs, gloves, fans, the gilt and tinsel +scraps of favours--it was a wilderness where the most amazing things +turned up in the most amazing places. Somebody found a comb in a box +of candy; a pair of corsets wrapped carefully together with some fine +damask table-napkins, and sticking upright in a water-pitcher (an +empty one by good luck); and old Mrs. Botlisch's teeth (the lower set) +jammed firmly between the strings of a guitar that had been used in +"Tell"--these were some of the discoveries. We were too tired to be +amiable, and there were some sharp wrangles over lost nightdresses, and +the ownership of tooth-brushes in the girls' quarters before we settled +down for what was left of the night--the morning, rather. We were +two in a bed, one on the lounge, and always three or four in a room +according to the Pallinders' happy-go-lucky style of hospitality. The +men, very likely, retired with even less formality; they had some big +rooms in an ell running out from the main building at the back given +over to their use. + +It seemed as if I had no more than closed my eyes (and, as I afterwards +found, it had actually only been about ten minutes since the last door +locked and the last gas-jet was turned off) when the consciousness of +disturbance somewhere about the house roused me. Someone was shouting +out of a window, and being answered from below. The sash slammed; and +presently there was the sound of stockinged feet padding downstairs. +Kitty waked up, and crossly suggested that one of the guests had +forgot something, and come back for it. "Of all things at this time of +night!" she snapped. "Might have waited till daylight, seems to me. +Some people have no sense!" + +The bolts of the front door rattled, the hall-gas flashed up, sending a +dim shaft of light through our transom; and a rumble of voices arose. +Then the feet padded back, and there was some stir in Mrs. Pallinder's +room. + +"Oh, bother! Whatever it is, they'll never find it to-night in this +mess," said Kitty vigorously. She sat up in bed. "Why don't they tell +'em to go home, and let us have a little peace and quiet?" + +That simple expedient, however, did not seem to occur to anyone else. +One of the girls awake in the next room called in that somebody must +have lost some money or jewelry--"they couldn't be coming back for +anything else." Again the feet padded down. The rumbling talk increased +in volume. We distinctly heard Colonel Pallinder's voice, raised +in explanation or argument, it was impossible to guess which; Mrs. +Pallinder or someone in skirts went rustling along the hall. Apparently +she paused to lean over the banister and listen a while. Lights began +to start up elsewhere in the house; there was some movement among the +men in their reservation; and old Mrs. Botlisch challenged raucously +from her room at the end of the passage to know what was the matter. +No one answered her, and after a moment there came a tap at our door. +I got out of bed and opened it, full of uneasy wonder. There stood +Mrs. Pallinder in a flowered blue silk tea-gown flung on anyway over +her nightdress, and flowing about her in a huddle of lace and ribbons; +she clutched it together at the throat; thin wisps of straw-coloured +hair hung around her face. There was something indefinably alarming in +the very haste and carelessness of her appearance, she who was always +powdered and corseted to a fashion-plate correctness. She looked the +scared ghost of her everyday self, immeasurably older, and a surprising +likeness to Mrs. Botlisch came out on her harassed features. + +"So sorry to disturb you, my dear," she said, with a tortured smile. +"But can you wake Mazie--I want to speak to her." + +"Nobody's sick, is there?" I asked, startled. + +"Is it a telegram? It's not bad news for anyone, is it?" Kitty cried +out apprehensively from the bed. + +"No, no, it's nothing--really nothing at all," repeated Mrs. +Pallinder--and this was so palpably false that even I could see through +it. "Tell Mazie to come here, please, I want to speak to her." + +"I'm coming," said Mazie drowsily, beginning to fumble in the dark for +her slippers. And somebody, Muriel, I think, scrambled out of bed and +lit the gas. + +"You mustn't get up, don't any of you get up," said Mrs. Pallinder +excitedly. "I tell you it's only Mazie I want to speak to. All of you +go back to bed and go to sleep. Shut your doors and go to bed!" Her +usually soft voice broke shrilly; she laid a hot trembling hand on my +shoulder and pushed me back within the room. By this time, however, +everybody was broad awake, staring, listening, and wondering. And Mrs. +Botlisch began again: + +"What's the matter? Is it fire? Mirandy, where are you? Is the house +took fire?" + +"No, it ain't, ma. Shut up, will you?" said Mrs. Pallinder roughly. +Astonishment struck us all dumb; never before had we heard her speak +so to the old woman. Mazie, looking very long and limp in her white +gown with strands of black hair sailing down her back, came to the +door, and her mother dragged her outside, slamming it on us sharply. +More low-voiced confusion ensued. Mazie gave a high exclamation, and +Mrs. Pallinder hushed her violently. All the girls congregated in the +room, in wild array of curl-papers and "Mother Hubbards." In the hall +one of the men could be heard asking what was the matter, and excuse +him, but could he be of any use? + +"What on earth do you suppose has happened?" said Kitty, no longer +out of temper, but on edge with curiosity; before anyone could offer +a guess, Mazie came back. She did not look at any of us; she did not +speak; she walked straight to the bureau in her room, took a package +from its top drawer, and walked straight out again. For so simple an +act it was the strangest bit of pantomime that can be imagined; so +quick and purposeful were her movements in contrast to her ordinary +languor, that no one had a chance to ask questions, even if we had +dared; but I believe we were all a little frightened by the unexplained +change in her bearing and her mother's. There was a controlled menace +about the girl; she dominated us to the last; and when she went out, +closing the door not fiercely as her mother had done, but with a +resolute gentleness, we should not have been surprised to hear the key +turn in the lock. The scene was not without its ludicrous aspects; +there we were eight or ten night-gowned girls, shivering in the +draughts, perched here and there amid the rich, fantastic disorder of +that room, while mystery whispered in the hall outside. We did not +talk; we were all openly listening, and such was the tension that when +Muriel said suddenly: "There's a carriage coming!" everyone in the +room started violently. A girl by the window put the blind aside and +peeped out cautiously. "Why, there's one here already!" she said, and +then: "There're two men in the other; they're just getting out----" + +Upon the words, a strange voice, a man's voice, cried out in the hall +below, with mingled anger and surprise, "Damnation!" it shouted, "What +d'ye mean by _this_?" Mrs. Pallinder screamed harshly like a strangling +animal, and with a truly melodramatic fitness, the door bell began +furiously to ring! + +That was too much for us. I don't know who was first in the hall; it +seemed as if we were all there at once. The immediate person I saw was +Mazie standing against the opposite wall. She had snatched up some kind +of shawl or blanket and wrapped it around her over her nightgown; her +face was white, but she was laughing in a hysterical way. At the head +of the stair Mrs. Pallinder clung to the newel. From the hall there +arose a clamour of excited voices, punctuated by peal after peal on the +bell like the knocking at the castle-gate in the awful scene of the +murder from "Macbeth." The door of Mrs. Botlisch's room was open, and +there was the old woman sitting up in bed, a tremendous figure in her +red flannel nightdress, roaring out questions to which no one paid any +attention. + +"Oh, do go back, girls, do go back, here 're the men!" said Mazie, +still giggling feebly. + +"Men!" cried her grandmother, catching the word. "Time enough! I'd like +to see someone with some sense. Where's that Taylor feller?" + +"Taylor--what Taylor?" said I, bewildered. I thought, for an instant, +the old woman had suddenly gone crazy, and wanted to be measured for a +pair of breeches. Anything seemed possible in the hurly-burly. + +"Here I am," said J. B., presenting himself in trousers and a +night-shirt, one red sock and one polka-dotted blue one, and his +suspenders trailing in the rear. "He went the kilt one better, didn't +he?" said Kitty, recalling his appearance later, and she wondered what +Muriel thought. But if the men were a weird crew, what were we? + +"Here I am," said J. B. "What's the matter? Can I do anything?" He +afterwards said that everything under the sun that could have happened +went through his mind, from fire and murder to the reappearance of +Arthur Gwynne's ghost--everything that could have happened, except the +inconceivable thing that _had_ happened! + +Mazie ran to the banisters. "Do somebody open the door! Can't you hear +the bell?" she screamed. + +"Find out who it is first! Find out who it is--don't let them in +without finding out!" Mrs. Pallinder called out desperately. + +"You Taylor, for the Lord's sake, see what it's all about!" cried Mrs. +Botlisch. "Mirandy, gimme my teeth----" + +A fresh outbreak of voices downstairs announced that the door had +finally been opened. Mazie came running back as Colonel Pallinder +limped up the stairs. "There! _Huddesley!_" she exclaimed and burst +into shrill laughter. "They're asking for him. The minute that +man opened the package I thought about Huddesley. Never mind, ma, +they can't come on _us_ for anything. Huddesley's got the laugh on +everybody!" + +Mrs. Pallinder all at once broke into sharp crying. "I can't stand +it, I can't stand it any longer!" she screamed out, and beat her hands +together. "I can't stand this life, I tell you, I can't stand it!" + +"All right, honey, you shan't have to," said the colonel, trying to +soothe her. "I'll take care you shan't." + +She pulled away from him furiously. "Oh, _you_!" she said with fierce +scorn. "Oh, _you_!" And then in some strange and violent revulsion: +"No, no, I didn't mean that, Willie, I didn't mean that, my dear!" and +began to cry wildly in his arms. It was horrible. + +I relate these circumstances as faithfully as I remember them; but it +is difficult to give any idea of the mirthless farce, the grotesque +tragedy of that night. It was at this moment, I believe, as we were all +standing in a miserable embarrassment, and irresolution and (speaking +for the girls, at least) something not unlike fright, that one of the +strange men whom we had heard, came up the steps. He paused as his head +rose above the landing, and he caught sight of us. Well he might! We +must have been a fearsome picture. + +"Sorry to intrude, ladies and gents," said he, hastily dropping back a +little, and removing his hat. "But I gotta hump----" + +J. B. came to the head of the flight, and, as it were, took command of +the situation. He was no great figure of a hero with his suspenders +slapping at his heels; but for all that he looked a manly and masterful +young fellow, and I think we were all both grateful and relieved at his +assumption of responsibility. No one else seemed equal to the needs of +the hour. + +"Look here," said J. B. quite pleasantly and firmly. "You can't come up +here. These ladies must not be disturbed any more, do you understand? +Now who are you and what do you want?" + +"That's business," said the other frankly. "I'm a detective. My name's +Grimm. I've got another plain-clothes man from your police headquarters +downstairs, if you don't believe me, ask him----" + +"Mr. Taylor--isn't that Mr. Taylor?" said someone from below. "Don't +you remember me--Judd--don't you remember me at the bank?" + +"That's all right," said J. B. "I remember you. Go ahead, Mr. Grimm, +what do you want?" + +"Well, say," said another voice a little farther down, "young fellow, +if you're bossing this, my name's Hopple, and I----" + +"One at a time," said J. B. forcibly. "Go on, Mr. Grimm." + +"Right you are, sir," said Grimm fervently. "I thought I'd struck an +asylum full of lunys at first, but I guess it ain't so after all. I'm +looking for a man named Huddesley--that is, he called himself Huddesley +here--that's wanted for several crooked jobs all over the country. +I've been after him for six months. It's a dead cinch Huddesley's the +man--Judd here's had an eye on him for six weeks----" + +"That's what!" said Judd, with emphasis. + +"----he was in the house to-night. Is he here now, do you know?" + +"Huddesley has been here," said J. B., commanding his surprise. He +turned his face towards us, and hushed us with a gesture. "Huddesley +has been here, but he left the house some time ago, I don't quite know +when. Miss Pallinder, do you remember when he went?" + +He had to repeat the question twice before Mazie could get herself +together enough to answer it. "When he went?" she said vaguely. "When +he went?" Someone else said it was before midnight; at last Mazie +exclaimed that it was three hours, oh, yes, she was sure it must be +quite three hours since he had gone. + +"He said he was sick and was going home--that is to Doctor Vardaman's, +where he is employed," said J. B. "If you will go there, you may find +him, the house is----" + +"Find him the hell!" interrupted Mr. Grimm with dismay in his face. +"When he's had three hours' start!" He made a gesture of finality. +"It's all off!" said he. "Why, I've been to Doctor Vardaman's, mister, +how'd you s'pose I happened to come here?" + +"Somebody's tipped it off," said Judd, below stairs. + +"That's what you get for peddlin' collar-buttons, sonny," said Grimm. +"He was onto you from the word Go!" + +"If he's not at the doctor's, I suppose he got wind of you somehow, and +skipped out," said J. B., overriding these cryptic remarks, and anxious +to end the business. "Anyhow that's none of our affair. Is that all you +wanted to know, Mr. Grimm? For we're all tired and we'd like to go to +bed." + +"Here, wait a minute--" said Hopple, vigorously, and the detective, +sweeping us with a comprehensive glance, spoke at the same moment: +"Hold on, young man, no affair of yours, hey? Well, I ain't so sure +about that. The old gent said he would likely have the handling of +some valuables, a necklace or something. Will you kindly ask all those +ladies if they'll take account o' stock and see if they're missing +anything?" + +The unseen Mr. Hopple uttered a strong exclamation. Every girl made a +movement toward her bedroom, or nervously grabbed at some part of her +person as her own particular treasures occurred to her. Every girl but +Mazie, that is; and her next words, pronounced with entire calm, by the +way, were comparable in effect to the explosion of a bomb amongst this +singular company. + +"Oh, mercy-me!" she said. "How slow you all are! Can't you _see_? Why, +I saw it right off! I believe he's got the necklace!" + +There was an instant of appalled silence. Then: + +"Told you so! Always said he was a rascal!" cried Mrs. Botlisch +triumphantly. + +"Huddesley got the necklace?" said J. B. aghast. "Why, how could he? He +gave it back to you. Bob Carson had it, didn't he?" Everybody spoke at +once. The detective whistled, swore softly, then he stooped to mutter +with Judd. "That's what!" said the latter vehemently. Two or three of +the coloured servants had collected on the third-floor landing above +us, and hung over the banisters, giggling and nudging. In the darkness +their faces were nothing but shining teeth and eyeballs, reminding me, +oddly enough, of a picture in "Alice in Wonderland," of the Cheshire +Cat's grin materialising; Gwynne and I had had the book when we were +little. I cannot think why I should have thought of it then, of all +times; or, indeed, why the incongruous memory abides with me now. Mazie +was speaking in a high, strained voice. "I never opened the package," +she was saying. "Why, you know I didn't. I just took it from him and +I never opened it. After 'Mrs. Tankerville' I locked the thing up and +never thought of it again. I wouldn't have dreamed of suspecting +Huddesley; why, he's been in and out of the house all day long for +_weeks_, hasn't he, ma? Hasn't he, girls?" There was a kind of defiance +in her voluble explanation. "Tell that Hopple man, will you?" she urged +the detective, forgetting that "that Hopple man" was almost within +arms' reach of her. "He'd better go after Huddesley if he wants his +necklace--_we_ haven't got it. Huddesley must have banked on my not +opening the package; but anyhow, he was out of the house and gone long +before I had a chance to----" + +"Who's Bob Carson, and who's Mrs. Tankerville, and what package are you +talking about?" Grimm inquired succinctly. + +"Well, this is the package, I guess," said Hopple's voice, and +two hands reaching up delivered to Mr. Grimm a crumpled piece of +wrapping-paper, and about a ladleful of carpet tacks. + +"There's your diamond necklace," continued the voice in hoarse satire. +"Leastways there's what was given me for a diamond necklace. I don't +know Huddesley from Adam's off ox, but it's a pretty slick sort o' +story, seems to me." + +What Mr. Hopple looked like, I cannot say, for none of us saw the +gentleman. He made a movement to ascend the stairs, but J. B. looming +very large and square on the top step intercepted him. + +"Are you another detective, sir?" asked J. B. in his mild and steady +voice. + +"No, I ain't," returned Mr. Hopple, sulkily, yet not uncivilly this +time. + +"Then," said J. B. with increasing mildness, "perhaps you will be good +enough to explain what you are doing here?" + +"I'm collecting a bill for Goldstein Brothers--that's my business, +collecting. I know it's a little bit late at night, but I can't help +that. I've got to hump myself; I thought I might find somebody up on +account of the blow-out----" + +"It's an outrage, sir, an outrage which no Southern gentleman----" said +Colonel Pallinder, turning from his wife. "I repeat, sir, no Southern +gentleman----" + +"If we had the money, don't you suppose we'd pay your old bill?" cried +Mrs. Pallinder, in a kind of hysterical screech. Her face was red +and swollen with crying; her fair hair hung in strings. She ran to +the banisters and shook her slim fist at the man, a tousled virago, +unrecognisable in her rage. "Why don't you believe us? As if anybody +_wanted_ to owe you--as if anybody _liked_ to owe you! It's too +silly--you act perfectly crazy! We'd have given you the necklace if +we'd had it, but we haven't _got_ it--Huddesley's stolen it. What are +you staying around here for? We haven't got the money and we haven't +got the necklace, I tell you! Why don't you go away? You haven't any +right here--you're a cheat, trying to collect for that necklace when we +haven't got it. Make him go away, Willie!" + +"That's right, Mirandy, you talk to him like a Dutch uncle!" said old +Mrs. Botlisch with keen enjoyment. + +"I don't care--I'm glad Huddesley _has_ got it!" said Mazie fiercely. + +"Owing to circumstances--a temporary shortage of funds, sir," said +Colonel Pallinder, addressing J. B., blandly, "I have been unable +to satisfy this fellow's monstrous, his preposterous demand. But +if--Mr.--ah--Mr. Hopple will come around to my office to-morrow at +half-past eleven _sharp_, I----" + +Mr. Hopple's voice invited him to teach his grandmother to suck eggs. +"This here bill's been owing three years, and I'm going to collect it, +don't you worry--I'll be at the office. I'm going to collect if I've +got to hang around this town till the cows come home!" + +"You can't get blood out of a turnip," said Mr. Grimm philosophically. +J. B. interrupted this lively exchange of metaphor. + +"Mr. Grimm," said he, "it's pretty plain, I think, that the criminal +you want, this Huddesley, has got away with the diamond necklace. Why +we never suspected him seems strange enough now; I can think of a dozen +things that should have put us on our guard, but the fact remains we +never did. If you'll just step downstairs, and wait until I can get +some clothes on, I'll tell you all that we know about him. Mr. Hopple, +you can see for yourself that there's nothing to be done here now. +Your business can very well hold over until to-morrow--until daylight, +that is--it's none of my business, of course"--he interrupted himself, +glancing inquiringly at Colonel Pallinder, and as that gentleman +remained silent, went on--"but I think it's about time you went to your +hotel, and let these people go to bed----" + +"Huh! I don't take my orders from you, young fellow!" + +"Oh, don't be a fool, Hopple," said the detective impatiently. "He's +right. Go along; you can't do anything here." + +J. B. descended a step. "You don't have to take my orders, Mr. Hopple," +said he gently. "But I should think you'd rather take an order than a +kick." + +"Noble boy!" ejaculated Colonel Pallinder, much affected. "There +spoke a son of old Kentucky!" The collector retreated with sundry +mutterings. J. B. came back, dusting his hands lightly together. + +"Sir," said Colonel Pallinder, holding his wife with one arm, and +stretching out the other in a fine gesture. "Your hand! A Southern +gentleman, sir----" + +"Oh--er--that's all right," said J. B., embarrassed. He turned a kind +troubled glance upon us. "I wish all you girls and everybody would go +to bed. It's--it's all right, you know. I'm going to see those fellows, +and they'll go away presently." + +"You're A Number One, that's what you are, Taylor," said old Mrs. +Botlisch, in high approval. "You got more gumption in your little +finger than all the rest of 'em in their whole bodies, d----d if you +ain't!" + +Mrs. Pallinder dried her eyes, and began to arrange her dishevelled +dress with fluttering hands. "You mustn't mind ma, girls," she said, +resuming her smile. "She's really awfully eccentric." + + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO + + +Next day the crash came. The papers revelled in it; the Pallinders' +affairs occupied the place of honour (or at least of supreme notoriety) +in the first column of the first page; the Pallinders' creditors +assembled and filled the air with thunder; Muriel was incontinently +recalled to Washington; excited Gwynnes rushed upon the scene. And +when at last the smoke of conflict lifted, where were the Pallinders? +Nobody knew; nobody cared--except Scheurmann and Goldstein Brothers, +and perhaps a few others. Within a fortnight there was a red flag, +flaunting garishly on the lawn among the budding lilacs and faintly +greening beeches. Templeton had out sandwich-men and yard-long posters +announcing an auction in the house--"everything without reserve to the +highest bidder." + +The Armenians reappeared, and various other greasy-looking, +dark-skinned birds of prey flocked through the rooms, rapping on the +mirrors, testing the peacock-blue and old-gold draperies between their +dirty talons. I met Mrs. Maginnis coming out of Doctor Vardaman's yard, +boo-hooing and calling on all the saints to bless him, with a tribe +of little Maginnises at her heels. What had the doctor done? I do not +know. The old gentleman went quite shabby that summer in an old linen +duster we had not seen on him for years; and it is certain he bought no +more first editions for a long while. + +And here closes the episode--for episode it truly was, and no story, +as must have been discovered by this time. A story, properly conceived +and executed, must have a beginning and an end, and this lacks both; +it even lacks a hero and heroine. Fiction would have demanded, and a +conscientious storyteller would have supplied, a much more picturesque +and appropriate final act. The diamonds should have been restored, and +(let us hope) the bill paid; Muriel should have married J. B.; Bob +should have married Mazie; the curtain should have gone down on the +lovers embracing and everyone else shaking hands. I have not been a +novel-reader all these years for nothing, and nobody need remind me how +a romance should end; if this narrative finishes in open defiance of +all the proprieties, I can only offer the mean apology that it is all, +or nearly all, true. _Pars minima fui!_ Some of it I saw, some heard, +some merely guessed, and alas, none of the beautiful things mentioned +above came to pass! Looking back on it now, with the compliant wisdom +of forty-odd, I am satisfied it is as well those marriages did not take +place. Muriel would hardly have been a success transplanted; and the +Pallinder connection would inevitably have proved disastrous to poor +Bob. + +As for Huddesley, I cannot sincerely say I was ever sorry that that +entertaining and original scoundrel escaped; in other and more gallant +days, he and the Pallinders alike might have figured as a sort of +pirates, differing in degree and methods perhaps, hardly at all in +kind. There is humour in the spectacle of one of them preying on the +other. And, for the soul of me, I cannot be angry with either. _Bon +voyage_, oh ye adventurers! What shores have you not coasted, and what +men essayed in all these twenty-five years! At least I did not suffer +by you, and therefore, with a noble generosity, I wish you well! + +I fell in with J. B. the other day, after a long interval; and he had +a good deal to tell me in the pleasant hour we spent of, "Don't you +remember----" and "Whatever has become of----?" J. B. goes up and +down the world, and knows many men and their cities these days; he +is getting a little bald and massive, yet is still a notable figure, +not greatly changed; and, "What do you think?" he said, "I've seen +Huddesley, and he knew me at once! It was the year of the St. Louis +Fair; that's the last time I was West, you know. I went from there to +the town of Joliet, Illinois, where you know the Government runs an +elegant home for ladies and gentlemen whose society and services the +community doesn't need all the time. + +"I went out there--voluntarily," he added, with a chuckle. "It was +the Fourth of July and blazing hot, and I had three hours to put in +before my train left. The man I went to see told me I'd find the Pen +'very instructive.' But when I got there, they were giving all these +wretches a holiday, in honour of Uncle Sam's birthday, and I tell you +they were a pretty hard-looking set. The guard was showing me through +a yard, when suddenly one of these jolly, cursing, sky-larking parties +in stripes dropped out of a bunch of them, and, says he, getting in +the way, and staring hard at me: 'Mr. Breckinridge, don't you know +me?' I didn't at all, for a minute, although really, considering his +age, and the kind of life he must have led, he hasn't changed much. +Then: 'Will you 'ave 'ock with your hoysters, sir?' said the scoundrel +with a wink--and it flashed on me who he was! 'Huddesley!' I shouted +out. The attendant was perfectly petrified; he thought I must be some +old pal of Huddesley's--I had to explain before he would let us talk. +Eh? Why, _sure_! As the children say, _sure_! I talked to him, and he +asked after everybody with the greatest interest. He even got quite +autobiographical and confidential after a while; told me he was up for +five years this time (for a little trouble he got into in New Orleans, +he said delicately), but he had served two-thirds of the sentence, and +would be out in six months, his time having been shortened for good +behaviour. 'There's nothin' to it, anyway, Mr. Breckinridge,' says he, +in a serious manner. 'I guess I ought to know, I've tried both ways. +It's me for the simple life after this; my eyes are kind of troubling +me, and I'm getting along in years. I'm goin' to square it after I get +out this time----' He meant he was going to live honestly, you know. +'In all I've spent eighteen years in the stir'--that's slang for the +prison, it seems--'with a sentence here and a sentence there, since +the first time of all in Pentonville, 'long back in '72. That's a +good while out of a man's life that ain't but fifty-five years old. +I'm going to cut it out after this. I begun pretty young and I'm +through now.' He told me he was London-born, Seven Dials, some slum, I +suppose--'That's where Hi got the haccent,' he said, grinning again. +He had a chequered career before we knew him, footman, errand-boy, +sneak-thief, actor, preacher, insurance-agent, confidence-man--it +would be hard to say what he hadn't been. There was an interval when +he was apprentice to a pastry-cook--I think he was honest then, for +about a year, until the till was left open one evening. He said that +was where he learned the trade of cook--'But I was always was one to +pick up things quick, _you_ know that, Mr. Breckinridge,' he said with +a funny swagger. I asked him if he had had an eye on Mrs. Pallinder's +diamonds from the first, or whether he just took the chance when it +came. He gave me an odd look. 'Say, you don't mind asking questions, +do you?' he said. And then, quickly with a half-laugh: 'Oh, well, Mr. +Taylor, you're straight, I know you wouldn't throw me down, and it's +twenty years, anyhow.' He went on to say that he had landed in town +just about the time of the Charity Ball, when the papers were full of +the diamonds--you remember, don't you? The Pallinders were It then. +'I thought I might get the job of butler at the house, and applied,' +he said. 'Nothin' doin'--their help was all coloured. The very next +day Doctor Vardaman's advertisement came out; say, I was right there +with the goods. He was easy, the old gent was. I hadn't spieled my +little spiel five minutes before I saw it was 'M' lud, the carriage +waits,' for mine. And let me tell you, Mr. Taylor, I was wise to +the Pallinder game from the start; I knew Pallinder was due to blow +up any day, and your Uncle James would have to hustle to get those +diamonds, or somebody else would. That's why I went after 'em by the +Romeo-and-Juliet route, 'stead of taking it slow and easy, and getting +to be like a son of the house like I'd planned. Well, you know that +deal fell through owing to Mrs. Pallinder's neuralgia; if you and +the colonel and everybody else had stepped a little livelier, you'd +'a' nipped me. As it was, I just barely had time to get back home; +and then what does the faithful, devoted, all-to-the-square-dealing +Huddesley do but wake up Doctor Vardaman, and lodge an information +against himself----' 'What?' I cried. 'You were the burglar?' To tell +the truth, I hadn't quite been able to follow Huddesley's flights of +metaphor for the last few sentences, until all at once it come over +me what he meant. 'You mean you were the burglar all the time?' I +asked him. He grinned with a queer kind of pride. 'Sure I was. But, +say, didn't I play it smooth? Couldn't I give Hen. Irving cards and +spades, though? Next day I _did_ have a sore throat--I'm subject to +'em--but I wasn't sick like Doctor Vardaman thought. I kept up the +game--stayed in bed and passed up the cops and the high-brows with +the stylographic pens--I couldn't risk seein' 'em, you know. I don't +know how that fellow Judd got on the trail--I guess he had a little +more grey matter than the rest of 'em. Of course they had photos and +descriptions of me all over the country. Anyway, when he turned up, +peddlin' collar-buttons about six weeks later, I was next right off. +I knew I'd better beat it for the tall and waving--but I did hate +like poison to go without those rhinestones--after all the trouble +I'd took, too.' The fellow's persistence and patience were something +astonishing," said J. B., with wonder. "Enough to have insured his +success at any honest undertaking, you'd think. He told me it was very +hard to keep up the rôle. 'Sometimes I'd forget--about the talk, and +all, you know,' he said. 'And then I'd lay awake at nights in a cold +sweat for fear somebody had noticed it. Yes, sir, I'd been studying +and studying, making myself solid with everybody, and playing the +faithful-and-devoted racket until I was sick of it--and no diamonds in +sight yet! Then "Mrs. Tankerville" came up, and all at once I began +to see a ray o' light. But just as things was going like greased +rollers on a toboggan-slide, hanged if the doctor didn't sour on the +Pallinders! Said he was never going there again. 'Stead of shooting the +chutes, looked like I was due to bump the bumps.' + +"'In the end, that was the best thing that could have +happened--because, you know, the old gent invited you all to dinner, +and the minute he did that, I saw the chance. I knew Johns was a good +deal of a lusher, and if I could get him stewed good and plenty, +why, I could turn the trick. If some of the rest of you got a little +how-come-you-so, not batty, you know, just a little googleish, it +wouldn't hurt. But I wasn't taking any chances on Johns; I fixed +him with some kind of rock-a-bye-baby dope out of the doctor's +closet. You remember what happened after that. Say, I enjoyed +it--honest-to-goodness I did; I liked all you boys first-rate. Say, +if I'd been different, if I'd been born and brought up like you, for +instance, I'd have cut a pretty wide swath, now, wouldn't I? It's all +in the start a man gets, ain't it?'" + +J. B. paused. + +"I dare say Huddesley could imitate me better than I can him," he said. +"But wasn't that last a funny thing for a man like that to say? He was +in earnest, proud of his peculiar talents, and a little regretful. I +didn't know what to say, but I knew better than to sermonise." + +"Do you suppose he really did 'square it' after he got out?" + +"Not likely, I think. Good resolutions aren't very lasting with that +class. I've no doubt he meant it at the time. He asked about Doctor +Vardaman. I told him, and do you know the fellow's face clouded over +for a second. I believe he really was pained. + +"'Well,' he said. 'The doctor was an old man, and of course it wasn't +to be expected he could live very much longer. I might have known. But +it makes me feel bad, Mr. Taylor. I kind of expected to go and see him +when I got out this time, and tell him I was going to finish out on +the square. He was the whitest man I ever knew. I never took the value +of a cent from him, though I had plenty of chances; yes, sir, he was +the real thing, that old gent was.' And, just as I was leaving he said: +'I'd like mighty well to know who that nice little trick was that I +kissed on the back stairs when I was dusting out with the necklace. I +didn't know her name, I guess she didn't ever come to rehearsals when +I was around. Kind of a fat little girl, with brown eyes--she was too +surprised to squeal; it was a fool thing to do, but I felt pretty good, +and she was just my size in girls.' I couldn't place her for him, but I +shouldn't wonder if it was Kitty. It would be like Kitty to keep quiet +about it." I agreed with him that it would be much like Kitty; her eyes +are blue, by the way, but J. B. had forgot that. + +His face was a little sober as he answered some of my questions. + +"I met the colonel in New York not long ago," he said. "He looks pretty +old and seedy and shifty-eyed these days. He talked just the same; had +a few shares to sell--just a few, you know, they were soaring up in +price and in a week would be unobtainable for love or money, but he +wanted to let me in on the ground floor--in a gold mine down in Eastern +Tennessee. + +"Don't laugh; it wasn't funny. He was too anxious to be so fluent and +convincing as he used to be in the old days; he reminded me of a poor, +hungry, eager old dog. I bought some of the shares, for the sake of +auld lang syne--I couldn't help it. And there was something sordidly +pathetic in the air of affluence he put on after he'd gathered the +money up in his trembling old hands. I suppose he hadn't handled so +much in months; yet the sum was not large. He insisted on my going +home to dinner with him; they were in a dingy boarding-house over in +Brooklyn. It gave me a start to see Mrs. Pallinder; I actually thought +for a minute it was the old Botlisch woman, although she died years +ago, the colonel told me. Mrs. Pallinder's got to looking exactly like +her, but she has more manner, you know; she put on a lot of 'side' +for my benefit. The boarding-house people were very much impressed. +I shouldn't wonder if my visit bolstered up the Pallinder credit a +good deal--I'm so solidly respectable. But do you know, I'm sure, that +aside from any motives of self-interest, the Pallinders were honestly +glad to see me; they talked about old times the same as you and I are +doing now--just as if they hadn't left owing everybody and under a +cloud generally! I wouldn't have opened my mouth about the diamond +necklace, and that last night, but Mrs. Pallinder brought it up right +away; she rather flourished it before the other boarders. Huddesley and +her jewels, and what she said, and what So-and-So said--it was rather +diverting to hear her version." + +"Mazie wasn't with them, was she?" + +"Oh, no, Mazie's married. Married an army-officer, and they're living +in the Philippines. Mrs. Pallinder told me the name, but I've forgotten +it." + +"We used to think that Bob Carson----" + +"Yes. Bob's never married--he was awfully in earnest. Remember what +a sweet voice he had? They used to get him to sing 'Comfort ye, my +people,' in Trinity the last Sunday in Advent, don't you remember? Poor +old Bob!" + +"Rich old Bob, you'd better say! He's made a lot of money. Susie's +children will get it all, most likely. He's very fond of them; he sent +the youngest girl to Europe last year to study music, somebody told me. +Maybe, if Mazie knew, she'd be sorry she wouldn't have him. But it's +better so; they wouldn't have been happy. Do you suppose he ever asked +her, though?" + +"Well, a man don't--one isn't likely to know about things like that," +said J. B. somewhat embarrassed. "But I believe he did--right after the +party, in the midst of the rumpus when the Pallinders were getting it +right and left from everybody." + +"And she refused him? I think it was fine of Bob to ask her. Like you +and Muriel, wasn't it?" + +"Hey?" said J. B., very much startled. A sudden flush appeared on his +amiable, middle-aged countenance; he goes clean-shaven now, he who was +so gallantly moustached in eighty-three--such are the mutations of +fashion. + +"I mean in the play--in 'Mrs. Tankerville,'" I added hastily. + +"Oh, the play--oh, yes, I remember." He looked down meditatively, +fingering the stem of his wine-glass as we sat at luncheon. Muriel +would not have refused _him_, had she been asked in good earnest; I +wondered if he knew it--but I think he was at once too gallant and too +simple--honest, kindly J. B.! + +"I saw her when I was over this last time," he said. "She's the +Countess of Yedborough now, you know. She's got eight children! The +oldest girl looks something like her, but not so handsome as her mother +was at her age--oh, not to compare. She was the handsomest woman I ever +saw." + +"Has she changed much?" + +"Well, these big women--she's got awfully fat--fine-looking still, +of course, but she's too fat." Then, catching my eye inadvertently +directed on his own not inconsiderable expanse of light waistcoat, he +grinned good-naturedly. "Guess I'd better be careful how I throw stones +around here," said he. "I'm living in a glass house myself." + +"Did Muriel ask after any of us?" + +"Oh, yes, wanted to know about everyone--even Ted Johns. I told her +they'd found out that Huddesley put some drug in Ted's wine that night, +so that it wasn't liquor that was the matter with him. I thought I'd +save his reputation that much, if I could. Poor Ted, how he did waste +his life! No man ever had better chances at the beginning, but he was +his own worst enemy." + +"You might say that of all of us." + +"Yes, I suppose so. But we don't all drink like fish. Kind of sad about +Teddy; he got some appointment in the commissariat when our troops went +to Cuba, and died of the fever at Siboney in '98--you knew that? He +ought never to have risked going to that climate; he couldn't have had +any constitution left by that time." + +I assented, and we paid Teddy's memory the tribute of a moment's +silence; yet I dare say we were not thinking so much of him and his +career, as of our own youth and the inevitable years. + +"Well, this has been very pleasant, but I must go," he said presently +and rose. "Next time I come West I'm going to bring my wife; I want her +to meet everyone here--the old set, I mean. She's heard me talk about +you so much. I wish we could meet a little oftener, but living so far +apart--you know----" + + +Well, _fuit Ilium_! _Fuimus Troes!_ J. B. will find both the old set +and the old town changed greatly (for the better, no doubt) when he +returns. The coming generation--nay, the generation that has already +arrived, will not remember the look of things as they were in my time. +As I was saying, they were tearing down the old Gwynne house the other +day. + + + + ++-------------------------------------------------+ +|Transcriber's note: | +| | +|Obvious typographic errors have been corrected. | +| | ++-------------------------------------------------+ + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 59640 *** |