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diff --git a/59716-0.txt b/59716-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5dda0fd --- /dev/null +++ b/59716-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,8833 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 59716 *** + + + + + + + + + +THE NIGHT OF TEMPTATION + + + + +_BY THE SAME AUTHOR_ + + +LIFE'S SHOP WINDOW +SIX WOMEN +SELF AND THE OTHER +THE ETERNAL FIRES +FIVE NIGHTS +THE LIFE SENTENCE +ANNA LOMBARD + (500,000 copies) +SIX CHAPTERS OF A MAN'S LIFE +TO-MORROW? +PAULA +THE WOMAN WHO DIDN'T +A GIRL OF THE KLONDIKE +THE RELIGION OF EVELYN HASTINGS +LIFE OF MY HEART + + + + +THE NIGHT OF TEMPTATION + +BY + +VICTORIA CROSS + +Author of "Life's Shop Window," "Six Women," etc., etc. + +NEW YORK THE MACAULAY COMPANY + +Copyright, 1912, by VIVIAN CORY GRIFFEN + +Copyright, 1914, by VIVIAN CORY GRIFFEN + + + + +CONTENTS. + +CHAPTER PAGE + I. HOME 11 + + II. IN THE WAYS OF DELIGHT 43 + + III. THE GIFT 77 + + IV. OUT OF THE STAGNANT HARBOUR 124 + + V. CLEAR WATERS 145 + + VI. PARADISE OR ----? 172 + + VII. WITH THE GREAT RIVER 196 + +VIII. THE LIONS OF THE DESERT 223 + + IX. IN THE DARK WATCHES 249 + + X. THE REACTION 285 + + XI. VAE VICTIS 296 + + XII. DAWN 305 + + + + +THE NIGHT OF TEMPTATION + + + + +CHAPTER I + +HOME + + +She lay in a quiet corner of the Rectory Garden, looking up at the +majestic white clouds, that sailed across the blue of the summer +sky, like Viking ships under full sail, speeding along over the deep +blue of a limitless ocean. How glorious they were! How wonderful to +contemplate these summer nimbi, in their immaculate, fleecy whiteness, +in their shadowy recesses, in their glistening summits. They were +pure and radiant, even as the girl's soul was, and by their affinity +with it they seemed to call it up to them, to lift it up away from +the sordid Rectory, with its harsh, unloving father, its dejected, +stupid mother, its quarrelling daughters; away from the horrible +village, full of vice, squalor and disease; away from the narrow +stone church, in which a yet narrower creed was weekly preached. Away +from all these, to the contemplation of the pure and the beautiful, +these glorious clouds called her, and she loved them, the friends and +companions of her thoughts through many a lonely hour. Now, in the +hush of a hot afternoon, she lay very still under the gold rain of the +laburnum-trees, looking up at the towering snowy masses in a rapture of +delight. + +Stossop Rectory lay, in its old-fashioned country grounds, inland +from the sea about two miles on the south coast of Devon, and a very +beautiful old place it was, long and low, containing many rooms, and +having a deep gabled roof of Titian-red, that showed above the wealth +of white and delicately pink roses that veiled its face; and if the +Rectory from without looked the typical, peaceful English home, so +within was it the really typical English home, full of disunion, +pettiness, quarrelling, hatred and discontent. The English are perhaps +of all humanity the greatest humbugs; they love, more than anything +in the world, pretence; and the farther away the reality is from the +sham they create out of their imagination the more dearly they love the +sham; hence those amazing pictures of the domestic hearth, the happy, +rosy-cheeked children, the smiling mother, the loving, protective +father; the gentle temper, the sunny cheerfulness, the air of rest and +peace and safety pervading all. Has anyone ever been the inmate of, or +the visitor to, such a home? Let all who read these lines recall their +recollections of home, their own and those they have seen. Whoever +it was who wrote "Home, Sweet Home," one feels the author must have +been an orphan and brought up at a school. The home in reality is the +place where everyone feels they can display their bad temper and their +bad manners, as they can wear their oldest, ugliest clothes and their +surliest expressions. The heroic manly brothers of the story-book spend +their time in pulling their sisters' hair and kicking them under the +table; the gentle sisters hate them secretly in return; the father +grumbles at his wife, the wife scolds the servants; and so the dreary +round of home life goes on. The boys escape from it as soon as they +can; the girls rebelliously long to follow; the unhappy wife and mother +hopes vaguely for some relief that never comes; the father cherishes +in his heart the memory of his last visit to town, _on business_, and +looks forward eagerly to the next, enlivening the dull and stupid time +that intervenes by bullying his wife. + +Such is the average home, and such was it at Stossop Rectory, and, +but for the enchanted garden, Regina Marlow, the Rector's youngest +daughter, who was of totally different stamp and mould from the rest of +the family, could never have supported life in it at all. + +Some really golden moments in Mrs. Marlow's life, in which the +Rector had no part--being away on one of his business visits to +town--accounted for Regina. She was the child of love and passion, as +the others were of distaste and dislike, for Mrs. Marlow entertained +for her husband that solid dislike which is the basis of most marital +relations. And the elder daughters, conceived and nurtured in it, +had hate engrained in every fibre of their bodies. It showed in the +spiteful gleams of their eyes, in the downward turn of their mouths, +in their incessant wrangling with each other. Beautiful they were, +for Mrs. Marlow was beautiful, but the nine months of inward revolt +from her husband that she had suffered in each case while they were +being fashioned within her, of her blood and her bone and her brain, +had given them both the terrible curse of the hating soul. But Regina, +born of love, of that sweet tenderness like the spring zephyr, of that +wild passion like a summer storm, that the gods have given to man to +illumine the darkness of the earth, Regina showed love and joy in every +line of her face and form. Her mouth was always smiling; its curves +were upwards, not downwards. Her voice was soft with all the notes of +love and sex in it; her eyelids were sweetly arched; her blue eyes +overflowed with tenderness and smiles; her soul was filled to the brim +with what the Rector would have termed the "grace of God," and not +untruly, since God is love. All through Regina's creation her mother +had dwelt on love and on its sacred memories, and naturally enough the +embryo conceived and reared in love and loving thoughts came into the +world fitted out and equipped for love. Ah, how little do women think +of the evil they commit when they give themselves to husbands they +do not love! The hideous crime it is, blacker than any, to give life +to beings burdened with evil souls, do they ever think of it? That +hate they feel for the father, do they not realise how it bears fruit +in the evil tempers and passions of the child? Mrs. Marlow, deep in +her inmost heart, always thought of Regina, the gay, loving, radiant +Regina, as the child of sin. No small voice ever whispered to her that +the elder children, fretful, vicious, unhealthy, malicious, reflections +of her own state of mind when bearing them, were children of a greater +sin--against themselves, against society, against the human race. + +She never thought about these things; she believed herself to be a +thoroughly good woman, who had sinned once in her life, but sincerely +repented. + +She had dismissed her lover; she had turned a deaf ear to the +passionate entreaties of the man who really wanted her, and had +remained to do her duty to her husband, who would have been so thankful +to be free from her--duty, which consisted, according to her ideas, in +counting his shirts when they came home from the wash, presiding over +the flannel club he had started in the village, seeing that he had +three meals a day and that the Rectory was cleaned up twice a year, and +disliking him extremely the whole time. + +Year by year her face hardened and her intellect diminished under +the cramping influence of the hating habit; now and then the lines +of her mouth would soften and her eyes glow tenderly as she thought +of Regina's father, but she immediately chased the warmth of love +out of her heart as most improper, and hastened off to fold her +husband's clothes or put his books in order, with the proper feeling of +repulsion, hatred and disgust to which she was accustomed. + +Whether such a state of living and being would really be acceptable to +the one who said, Love one another, and Blessed are the pure in heart, +she never stopped to ask herself. That she would have been accounted by +him the "whitened sepulchre" never occurred to her. + +Regina's presence she could not bear, the girl reminded her too vividly +of what she was always trying vainly to forget; and so, while her +mother busied herself more and more with old women's charities and +parochial meetings, Regina was left more and more to her own studies, +and for her pleasures to the enchanted garden. The enchanted garden +belonged to an unoccupied villa by the sea called "The Chalet." The +owner had left it in charge of a caretaker and a gardener, but had +begged the Rector to visit both house and garden occasionally and see +that things were kept in good order. The Rector being very busy had +gradually allowed this duty to devolve on Regina, who possessed herself +of the keys, made friends with the gardener, and undertook to report on +the property from time to time to the owner. In this way a great joy +had come into her life. She fell in love with the garden at first sight +of it, and her visits there soon became a passion of delight to her. In +both winter and summer the garden was almost equally beautiful. From +its extraordinarily sheltered position no winds could get into it to +riot there. Rain and snow to fall upon its velvet ground had to filter +through a maze of foliage which neither withered nor fell through all +the dizzy circle of the seasons. The garden was sunk slightly below +the level of the green, grassy, sheltered and little-frequented road +that lay on one side of it, and from which it was screened by masses of +tamarisks grown into splendid trees and banks of wild red roses, the +tree stems of which were as thick as a man's arm; on the other side of +the garden, enclosing all the magic space, was a low stone balustrade, +and through its interstices glittered the dancing blue of the sea; over +the balustrade, and far above it, towered great aloes, with their spiky +leaves, and auricarias, and more red climbing roses, and ever here and +there their gentle sprays parted and let through them a vision of the +wide sea and the blue and violet lines of distant hills on a far-off +coast. In the centre of the garden rose in its stately majesty a single +palm, and stretched its benign and glorious branches widely and evenly +on every side, catching the rosy light of the dawn, the red glow of +the afternoon and the crimson of the sunset through the procession of +the hours; for the garden lay to the south, and the sun made it his +resting-place through all the golden day; beneath the palm, cool in +its shade, lay green turf, emerald-coloured, velvety, wonderful; and +on this without order, except the gracious order of nature, stood at +wide intervals standard rose-trees bearing blossoms of every shape and +hue--white and amber and cream, red, crimson to blackness, blush-pink +like a maiden's cheek, yellow and deep orange--and all of them were +scented. Unlike the over-cultivated roses of some rich man's garden, +where excessive culture has induced extravagant size at the expense of +the flower's natural mystic charm, its perfume, these flowers were all +comparatively small, but rich both in colour and fragrance. So sweet +was the breath of the roses that for half-a-mile before one reached +the garden its divine scent drifted out to the wayfarer and, as in +Damascus, the whole air and every breeze whispered of the rose. + +To Regina these rose-trees standing on the green grass, not in lines, +or rows or circles, not in beds nor borders, seemed less like plants +than living figures; they seemed to her fancy to stand like beautiful +girls in a ballroom waiting for their partners to dance with, and the +perfume diffused by them in the air seemed like the music of their +innocent conversation. She never tired of watching them and noting the +graceful attitudes in which they stood, and how sometimes two or three +would bend together as if to murmur their confidences. + +Round the great oval of the green turf, with its standing roses, ran a +narrow path, and this towards the western end of the garden met other +little paths, and these all ran, together or separately, now side by +side, now widely diverse through thickets of tamarisk, aloe and rose, +under other thick branching palms, where it was so dark at noon under +tangled creeper and vine that it seemed like evening; and yet, dark +though they were, all these winding, hidden paths led at last out to +the porphyry balustrade and the glittering purple sea. + +The effect of this garden on Regina's artistic, poetic, beauty-loving +nature was like magic. However sad or irritated, nervous, ill or +angry she might be when she came there, once the gate of the garden +was passed a deep peace fell upon her. All here was silence, rest and +fragrance; the perfect harmony of light and shade, the mystic presence +of beauty; and all her cares and troubles, and the annoyances of the +petty world in which she lived, fell from her; her soul seemed to +unfurl its wings and soar through radiant spaces, and everything was +forgotten but the beauty of the earth and the glory of light and colour +and the laugh of the joyous sea. + +To the girl lying gazing up at the white clouds this Sunday afternoon +the thought of the garden came sweetly, and she got up and shook out +the folds of her cambric gown and took the winding path through the +Rectory garden which led to the old road to the coast. She had no +hat, and through the lace of her white parasol the sun streamed down +warmly on her thick and waving hair, hair itself sun-coloured and +light-filled, and on the pale rose of her cheeks and the blue of her +eyes softly shaded by their curling lashes. Tall, erect and graceful, +in the first glory of her youth, Regina Marlow walked that afternoon +with the step and carriage that her name implied. As she walked, she +was thinking; she had a small black scholarly-looking book clasped in +her hand, but to-day she was not thinking of her studies: her thoughts +clustered round an approaching event which was coming to disturb the +even discomfort of the Rectory, and which had been the sole topic of +conversation at luncheon that day. A friend of the Rector, a junior +chum of his in Oxford days, had been invited and was coming to stay at +Stossop with them, and Regina wondered very much within herself whether +he would be interesting or not. She had heard that he was immensely +rich, but that did not interest her at all, though the whole family +had nearly fallen into a violent quarrel amongst themselves as to the +exact amount of his income and the number of his country houses, much +to Regina's amusement, who could not see what it mattered to them +whether he were once or three times a millionaire. She had heard that +he had travelled a great deal, which attracted her, but chiefly, she +understood, for sport, which repelled her. That he was a very brilliant +individual, much sought after, courted and fêted in society, impressed +her, but only vaguely, since the world of men and their judgments and +opinions were very far away from Stossop. + +Her query to the Rector as to his appearance had been answered by: "Oh +yes; Everest was the best-looking fellow at Oxford," a phrase that left +her equally uninformed, since she had no idea what the men at Oxford +were like. If they resembled the average individual she saw at Stossop, +the Rector's words would not necessarily mean much. And out of this +chaotic non-knowledge of him in her mind, and from the incessant +chatter of her sisters about him, a very splendid and glowing vision +of the stranger had gradually grown up, and she looked forward to this +evening, when he was going to arrive, with a joyous sense of elation +and interest which was impersonal in its nature and very different from +the anxious, calculating hopes that inspired the rest of the family. + +To Regina's intense and secret amusement she saw that her sisters had +quite made up their minds that Everest Lanark, his unusual rent-roll +and indeterminable number of country houses, should be captured by +one or other of them; and the Rector, while professing to be entirely +disinterested, really fell in with this idea, while her mother openly +exerted herself about the girls' wardrobes, and fussed over their new +evening dresses, warning them against burning their complexions, and +urging them to practise their drawing-room songs before his arrival. +To Regina's keen intelligence the idea that a man of large resources, +of wide travel, of immense experience, who had reached the age of +forty-six or seven, untouched by all the beauty that, according to +all accounts, had always been at his feet, should immediately succumb +to the attractions of an ordinary, country girl, without rank, title, +wealth or any of those things to which he was accustomed--without +talent or charm of any sort except youth and a pretty face--seemed +improbable in the extreme. + +For her sisters Regina felt that sort of marvelling wonder that the +naturally clever and gifted individual feels for the ordinary person, +and which is far greater than any admiring wonder that the limited +brain of the ordinary person can conceive for the clever one. + +Why did they not do something--and something well--she often asked +herself. They did nothing, and wanted to do nothing; they knew nothing, +and wanted to know nothing. + +To Regina, always learning, always acquiring, always thinking, always +doing something, it seemed truly marvellous. + +In the Rectory there was a splendid library, full of books in all kinds +of languages, treating of all countries, religions and philosophies; +yet neither of the elder girls had opened one of them. They hardly +realised that any other religion than the Christian existed, barely +knew whether the world was round or square, knew no language but their +own, had no conception of what was conveyed by the words Roman Empire, +and had never heard of Troy. They played a very little on the piano +and sung a little less, badly and out of time. They went to church +regularly and visited the poor, because their parents insisted on their +doing it, in their quality of the Rector's daughters, and Regina often +wondered what the "poor" thought of them. The rest of the time they +spent reading some novel that dealt exclusively with English life, for +they could not understand any other; fashioning and refashioning their +costumes, and hoping vaguely for the wealthy individuals they thought +they deserved to come to the Rectory and insist on marrying them! + +To Regina, who was up with the light of the dawn to read and study +and work, who had absorbed already the learning of a quarter of the +library, who had mastered Greek and Latin and read in five modern +languages besides, though she had no opportunity of speaking them, who +played really well and was endued with a natural gift for painting, the +ignorance and apathy of her sisters were beyond understanding. + +She did not know that her own splendid health and energy, her capacity +for hard work and concentration, her quick and eager mind, all came +from that golden source: the passionate love that had formed her being. +Had she known the heavy handicap laid upon her sisters at their birth +she would have pitied them even more than she did now, and wondered at +them less. + +By the time she reached the garden the sun was low in the sky and +great bars of yellow light fell all across the vivid green amongst the +standing roses. She opened and closed the gate very softly, for the +birds were singing, and the white doves that belonged to the Chalet +were cooing, and she did not want to jar upon the concert. She entered +silently, and slowly walked round the winding paths, her whole being +lifted up and expanding in the peace and fragrance and beauty of this +radiant solitude. + +How many afternoons and evenings had she not walked there alone! And +now, to-morrow perhaps, she would bring the stranger there to see it. +Would he feel the enchantment of it as she did, she wondered, or would +he say, as her father had done: "Those roses, you know, Regina, ought +to be in beds; it's absurd having them all over the place like this." + +That should be the test, she thought: if he said anything like that, +or if he suggested that the wild tamarisks should be cut down or +thinned out, she would not care about him. + +It was a curious fact that, in all her reverie concerning him, it never +once occurred to her to picture what his feelings might be for her: she +was wholly absorbed in wondering what her feelings might be towards +him. So far in her experience with men, and it had not been very wide +or deep, she had found them uniformly fall in love with her, and she +had grown to accept this, without paying much attention to it, as a +common habit of theirs, like smoking. + +The doctor had wanted her to marry him and preside over the village +dispensary; the curate had wanted her to marry him and manage coal +clubs and write his sermons for him all the rest of her life; the Latin +master had wanted her to marry him and take his boys' class in Greek +verse, and the same master's assistant had wanted her to marry him and +run away to London with him; but to all of these Regina had said a very +gentle No, though her heart had beat at their words and her colour +had come and gone uncertainly, for she unconsciously responded to all +love as the bell responds to the vibration of the note to which it is +attuned. + +Regina, naturally, never spoke to anyone of these offers and refusals, +but they gradually became known in the village, as everything is always +known in an English village. When the grumpy doctor became more surly +and grumpy than ever; when the Latin master took to caning his boys +every day instead of every week; when the curate came to church whiter +than his surplice, with dark rings under his eyes, and the assistant +master went away to town and shot himself in his lodgings there, it was +all put down to Regina, and her conduct in having had four proposals +was called "disgraceful" by the ladies in the village who had not had +one, and were twice and three times her age. + +The curate asked her if it was not very miserable for a woman to feel +she was making a man unhappy, and Regina had answered very truly: "Yes; +but she gets accustomed to it." She could not marry them all, and had +she married one the other three would still have been unconsoled. So, +when she was being abused and reproached for her heartlessness, she +simply went away to the enchanted garden and tried to forget about all +of them. Her sisters' strange conceit in themselves prevented them from +owing her any ill-will for these events. + +They fancied that Regina's lovers did not aspire to them; that, while +good enough for her, they would not dare to lift their eyes to the +beautiful elder daughters of the Rector, the real fact being that none +of the four men would have burdened his life with either of the silly, +weakly, useless creatures. + +Regina, lying with her cheek pressed to the bright green turf, listened +in silence to the wild beating of her heart, as she thought of love. +"Surely it must mean more than they think and make of it," she told +herself when the memory of these men recurred to her. And she leaned +most towards the young master, because he had given up his life for +love, but, greatly though his enthusiastic mind had pleased her, his +face and figure had not, and she did not regret him. + +She would look up to the roses leaning over her and repeat to them +some Greek lines that fascinated her: "Oh, children, what is this +that men call love?" And the roses seemed to quiver and bend lower +over her to hear the answer: "Love is not love alone, but indeed +is known by many names; it is unbridled violence; it is unslaked +thirst; it is intolerable anguish; it is unbounded joy; it is endless +lamentation," and as a breath stirred in the garden the trees seemed +to throw high their blossoms on the scented breeze in a wild and gay +response: "Whatever it is, good or ill, we wait for it, worship it, +live for it, die for it." This seemed their song to the girl, and the +white doves took it up and echoed it, and the thrushes warbled it in +their passionate throats, and the nightingales in the dark parts of +the garden trilled out in warm melody the same notes: "Wait for it, +worship it, live for it, die for it," and the girl heard it, with a +wonderful elation and triumph filling her, for she knew that whatever +gift the gods might have denied her in this life they had bestowed the +supreme one of all--the power to love, and to inspire love. It was +this intuitive knowledge of the great power within her, the limitless +capacity for devotion, the aptitude for love, that, paradoxical as it +may seem, had kept her from love so far. + +She knew that somewhere in the world there must be men who possessed +beauty and strength and grace and intellect, all that she loved; and +one of these would call up in her that same wild elation, that keen +rush of adoration, the vivid joy, that she felt under the sky at +sunset, when it arrayed itself in its most glorious colours, or in the +garden, when the roses poured over her their fragrance, or in Exeter +Cathedral, when the roll of melody from the organ seemed to catch up +her breathless soul and carry it away to unknown spheres. She felt +in fact that need of her being to worship which, in the young and +innocent, is the first knowledge of love. And as her reason revolted +from worshipping the doctor or the curate or the Latin master or the +assistant master, she knew that she did not love, and she would not +marry them. For before a clever and well-awakened mind can give itself +over to the worship of any object, either that object must be worthy of +the worship, or it must so dazzle the senses of the worshipper, throw +such a magic glamour around itself, that it appears to be worthy of +it; Regina had never seen anyone yet who could capture her reason or +dazzle her senses, and now the query came before her, floating hazily, +cloud-like on the horizon of her thoughts, would this new-comer to the +Rectory bring with him the power of the sunset skies and the cathedral +music? + +For a whole fortnight nothing had been talked of except the approaching +visit. It had engrossed the entire household. The finest bedroom +in the Rectory, with a little sitting-room opening out of it, had +been assigned to the guest, and to these rooms the occupants of +the house had carried their various treasures, sometimes openly, +sometimes surreptitiously. Mrs. Marlow had contributed her favourite +lounging-chair from her boudoir, Miss Marlow had lent her silver +clock, and Miss Violet Marlow her set of silken cushions from her own +sofa, and many more pretty and graceful objects had travelled that way +for many days, till the family really felt that their guest would be +pleased with the little suite, even accustomed as he was, in their +imagination, to be surrounded by tokens of fabulous wealth. Regina that +morning had herself placed on the dressing-table as her contribution +two lovely roses of perfect shape and hue, in a slender vase of +gilded crystal, but Miss Marlow having come in and noticed the divine +fragrance filling all the air, and recognising her sister's vase, had +seized the golden roses by their heads, torn them out of the water and +flung them into the garden, just as Regina was passing underneath. She +looked up with a glance of amused irony rather than anger. Such little +amenities were not uncommon in the Rectory home. + +"You have no business to interfere with his rooms," Miss Marlow called +from the window. "We don't want flowers in here, dropping their leaves +and making the place untidy." + +Regina raised her shoulders a little and passed on in silence, having +stooped and gathered up the glorious blossoms, so fresh that they were +little hurt by the fall, and they were now blooming in her room. A +smile was on her face as she pursued her way. She would wear them that +night at dinner and he should admire them on her instead of on his +table, that was all. + +She walked now from end to end of the garden, thinking of the morrow or +the next day, when she would bring him there. All was in perfect order; +she had never seen it look more lovely, and she leant at last with a +sigh of contentment on the balustrade, gazing across the purple expanse +of the sea, to the hazy golden outlines of the distant coast. + +How the thrushes sang, till the whole air quivered about her with +melody. And but for love they would never sing at all, and but for +love the roses would have no scent, the doves would not coo, the trees +would have no blossom and no fruit. What a wonderful gift it is to the +world, she thought, this love!--the author of everything pleasing and +beautiful, the source of eternal life. No wonder that through all the +ages men have worshipped it and sung of it, and poured out all the +powers of their brain to magnify it. And yet the never-ending pæan +chanted throughout the centuries is but a feeble and inadequate whisper +of its greatness. Man's voice being human is not attuned to sing +fittingly of what is divine. Men realise that life comes from love, but +how many realise that also all the decoration of life comes from it! +Even if we could exist without love, with it we must give up the beauty +of women, the fragrance of flowers, the melody of birds, the charm of +the human voice, the power of the brain. + +These are not separate entities, they are simply the effects of the +power of love. + +A silver clash of bells, softened by distance, came from the church +tower across the bay, and slowly, regretfully, Regina took her arm +from the balustrade. She could not stay longer in the garden now, but +to-morrow! + +Through the wonderful golden light of a June afternoon she took her +way slowly homeward, across the hay meadows and fields of standing +corn, by many little cross cuts that she knew, and arrived at the +Rectory about an hour before the time for their guest to arrive. She +went straight to her own room to dress; she was saved any embarrassing +choice of toilettes, for she had only two, one her best, the other +a plain black net, and she would not wear black to receive him. Her +sisters had a maid between them, but she never cared for anyone to +help her, or to be dependent on anyone for such essential things as +dressing and hair-doing. She took out a white dress and laid by it +her only jewels--some pearls left her by her grandmother--and the two +tea roses. That was all she had to aid her, but Regina knew it was +enough. She washed her face in the hottest water, so that it came out +clear and white, with a warm glow in the cheeks, and then piled up +loosely, so that all its natural waves had their full play, the shining +masses of her hair. Then the dress over her head by one quick movement +and fastened down her bosom, and at the waist, under veils of tulle; +the roses slipped in her hair and belt; the pearls clasped round her +throat, and she had finished dressing. She was ready, and free to sit +down and look at her vision in the glass, which she did. + +How bright her eyes were!--they looked like great sapphires; and how +red her lips! People might easily think they were painted. The skin, +how transparent and soft, like the untouched petal of a white anemone. +And her arms, they gleamed, milk-colour, amongst the tulle. + +Beyond her window the light was fading in the deep rose of the west; +pale violet shadows were stealing up from the copse and enveloping +all the garden with the peace of evening. As her glance wandered from +her own bright face to the serene outside, a feeling came to her +that that day closed a definite period of her life. Eighteen years +were now accomplished--years of thought, of work, of learning, of +contemplation, and they were over. The thought brought no sadness with +it, only joy. Whatever the next period of time brought with it, she +was ready, eager to go forward, to meet the embrace of life. That it +might mean merely the staying on and on at home in Stossop, as it had +done for nearly thirty unhappy girls in the village, never occurred to +her. Intuitively she knew she would escape from the narrow, cramping +existence of her home. It was only the way and the manner of escape +that, she felt, was unknown to her. + +Full of dominant energy, fear of that way or manner never touched her. +Of such are the elect of the world. The poor, ignorant, helpless, +wilting mass of Stossop's spinsters is but extravagant Nature's waste +material thrown out on the dust-heaps of time. + +The light crush of the gravel under carriage wheels came to her ears, +footsteps outside her door and on the stairs, voices ascending from +the garden. She heard the commotion, and very softly stole out of her +room to the oak rail round the well, that went down straight to the +hall below, and looked over. The guest was arriving. The footman was +bringing in some light luggage. She could see her father and mother +both standing there by the door, waiting, and catch a glimpse of her +sisters close by the drawing-room door. No one thought of, or noticed, +her, and she leant over the balustrade facing the entrance. Then he +came in and she saw him. Much as she had expected, much as report had +led her to expect, the reality was more than she had ever pictured. +Straight and tall, with a wonderful elegance of figure that not even +travelling clothes could conceal, he entered the hall and took off his +hat, standing without it as he greeted her parents. Entranced, the girl +looked down upon the perfectly shaped head, with its mass of thick +black hair, waving a little as it rose from the smooth, wide forehead, +on which, to her downward view, the eyebrows seemed extraordinarily +dark and striking, the eyes she could not see, but the fine, straight, +beautifully carved nose and chin, the turn of the head on the +long neck, the line of the cheek, the colour of the skin, a warm, +transparent tan, all seemed to the dazzled eyes of the girl to make up +a vision of remarkable beauty; she heard him speaking, and the quiet, +well-bred tones came up to her as something totally different from any +voice she had ever heard, from the curate's sanctimonious twang, from +the doctor's brusque, curt utterances, from the Latin master's guttural +pedantry. Musical, even, perfect, like sounds from another world, the +waves of air carrying his voice came up to her. + +He stood talking, while his valet brought in what seemed to the girl a +great deal of yellow hand-luggage and put it down in the hall. Then she +saw her mother motion to her sisters, and they came up, looking very +beautiful, as Regina thought, without a touch of envy. She did not fear +their beauty, and merely rejoiced that he should see what presentable +sisters she had. Miss Marlow was in pale pink satin, against which her +brown head, twined round with pearls, contrasted well. Violet Marlow +wore a dark blue muslin, like the ultramarine of the sea, and her +blond hair and snowy skin seemed fair as its foam. Regina saw the +look of interest flash across the man's face as he turned to them; she +noted her parents' pride as the presentation was made. Then there was +more light talking and laughter, and Regina simply marvelled at the +sweetness of her sisters' voices. Was that the same organ as the one +with which Jane Marlow had called to her from the window? Was Violet's +voice now really the same as the one with which she wrangled and argued +over the Rectory dinner-table every night? Then she ceased to notice +them, and her ears went back to listening to the man's quiet replies, +while her eyes drank and drank of all the grace and wonder of his +presence. Then suddenly there was a movement towards the stairs, her +parents stood aside, the girls drew back, and Everest, followed by his +valet, came upstairs. + +Regina, soundless as a white shadow, turned away and went back into her +room, softly closing the door. Her eyes were suffused, yet shining like +stars on a rainy night; her face was full of colour; her breast rose +and fell so rapidly that all her white muslin drapery quivered. + +"How wonderful, how delightful he is," she murmured to herself. "It is +nice to know there are human beings like that, that they are not all +hideous and harsh-voiced, and humpy-backed, and badly dressed as they +are in Stossop. He is perfect, and he has come here, and I can love +him." + +To meet one that you can love; what a privilege that is. She stood for +some time thinking over that, lost in the contemplation of that great +truth. It is so easy for a woman to find those that will love her, +so difficult to find one she can love. For woman being the superior +animal in every way, in beauty, in vitality, in intellect and charm, +almost any woman is good enough for a man, whereas there is only one +man here and there that is good enough for a woman. + +After a pause, she moved over to her long glass and looked at herself. +She was quite satisfied. There was nothing more to do, and she threw +herself into an easy-chair, and called up that vision of him behind her +closed lids as he entered her cordially hated home. + +When the gong sounded she went down, and as they were all assembled in +the dining-room, and she was the last to enter, all eyes turned upon +her as she did so. She hesitated for a moment by the door, and Everest +thought, with a sudden startled interest, what an attractive picture +she made. Her soft, snow-white draperies fell about a figure tall and +slender and supple, harmonious in all its lines as a beautiful melody +is in its sounds. Three rows of glistening pearls encircled a round +throat, whiter than themselves; above was her pink-tinted face, crowned +by its fair clustering hair. But the arresting power was in her eyes; +excited, pleased, animated, they were wide open, full of light and +fire, and as he rose and approached her they gazed upon him with a sort +of rapture. + +Her two sisters glanced at her in angry surprise, and then at each +other. + +Her father got up and presented Everest blandly: "Regina, this is Mr. +Everest Lanark. My youngest daughter, Regina." + +Everest took a very soft, warm hand in his for a moment, and while he +did so, the fragrance of the glorious tea-rose blossoms, one in her +hair, another at her breast, came to him; his eyes fell on them, and +always afterwards her image, in his mind, was associated with those +golden roses. + +A moment later they were all seated at the table: Everest on the right +of Mrs. Marlow and next to Miss Marlow, and opposite Miss Violet Marlow +and the Rector, Regina at the end of the table, on his side, where he +could not well see her, except by bending forward. + +She did not care. She was quite content. The dinner went admirably. +Everest, pleased at the proximity of so much youthful beauty, and with +a really clever if extremely narrow man, in the Rector opposite, to +talk to, appeared quite to enjoy it. At its conclusion the four women +rose; the men were left together. + +Everest did not drink much, but he tried the Rector's old claret; he +did not smoke either, but his host did, so Everest took a cigarette +with him. + +Regina slipped away up to her own room. She was afraid to risk being +alone in the drawing-room with her sisters, lest her roses should be +torn off, her hair pulled down or her toilette suffer in some way +at their hands. Before the Rector they usually kept up some outward +seemliness of conduct. So she waited until she heard Everest and +her father come out of the dining-room and enter the drawing-room +before she descended. She found Everest already seated between her +two sisters, and she passed over to a far corner of the room to a low +chair by the piano, and sat down there. She thought Everest would not +be the man she felt sure he was if he could stand long the united +conversational powers of Jane and Violet Marlow. + +Little scraps of their talk came over to her and amused her: "strips of +flannel," "had to keep her bed for a week, and mother took her guava +jelly every day." Regina guessed that Everest was being entertained +with an account of some of Stossop's sick poor. + +He glanced her way many times, and she fancied a weary look grew upon +his face, as the poor continued very sick, and Miss Marlow's methods of +treating their various ailments became more and more detailed. Neither +sister allowed the conversation to pause for a moment, and when one +showed signs of failing the other took it up with commendable energy. +But few things in this world prevented Everest from doing what he +wanted to do, and certainly two country girls talking to him was not +one of them. He wanted to approach Regina and speak to her, and as he +found the sisters would not stop their chatter he rose in the middle of +it. + +"I want to speak to your sister for a moment," he said merely, and left +them, crossing the room to where Regina sat, and drawing an easy-chair +close to hers. She looked up, and the same enthusiastic welcome shone +in her eyes as on his presentation. + +"What were you doing all day?" he asked, letting his eyes rest on +the youthful fairness of the throat, where the pearls gleamed in the +lamplight. He felt quite confident he would not be bored with the +Stossop poor in this quarter. + +"I went to church in the morning, which I hate, and which always makes +me realise what wretched things all these religions are. Then after +lunch I lay for quite a long time in the garden, gazing at the white +nimbi in the sky. That helps a little to counteract the effect of the +church service. Then I walked to the sea, and visited a rose garden +there. It is perfectly beautiful--it has a magic I cannot explain; you +must come and see it yourself. I looked over all the roses, and then I +sat down and read till the sunset came and disturbed me. I had to look +at that, and then I walked home to dress for dinner." + +She spoke lightly, easily, her warm, ardent gaze on his face, her soft +lips smiling. Her tones were like music. Her way of talking quite +different from the heavy, assiduous speechifying of her sisters. + +"What were you reading?" he asked, his eyes fixed on the brilliant, +changing, responsive countenance. + +"I was finishing the _Cyclops_: it is not a good play, but I have read +all Euripides except that, and I wanted to complete him." + +She spoke quite simply, and without any affectation or desire +to impress him. Things one does oneself rarely seem very great +accomplishments to oneself, and Regina had read Greek for so long that +a new play seemed no more than a new novel to her. + +"Do you read it in the original?" Everest asked, raising the dark +arches of his brows, and to the girl, as she met his admiring gaze from +under them, it seemed as if he were lifting her heart out of her bosom +with them. + +She laughed. "Yes, I don't like translations at all. Ever since I +saw that Byron had translated Catullus' Ode to Juventus as an Ode to +'Eleanor' I have fled from all of them." + +"You seem to be tremendously clever!" + +"Am I?" she asked, smiling up at him. "I am so glad you think so. I +am very fond of learning and all the arts. Are you? Painting, music, +poetry, sculpture. They are the soul of life, I think. What should we +do without them? Think if we had only in life the Church, dusters and +the poor!" + +Everest laughed, and so did she. "It does sound an awful combination! +Yes, I think with you art is the one thing that brings a little heaven +on earth. It is the only true religion, the only true elevator of that +poor wretch--man. I am never so happy, and I never feel so good and so +charitable, as when I am painting." + +"Do you paint?" asked Regina, with a fiery interest in her glowing +eyes. "So do I. What are your subjects, and what do you paint +in?--water colours or oil?" + +"Oils. I do anything that catches my fancy--a head, a figure, a +landscape, anything that is a little unusual. I hate the commonplace." + +"In Africa I suppose you found so many subjects that were unusual: +tropical trees and wonderful plants and beautiful black women." + +Everest looked back at the delicately coloured face, of which her +interest and excitement made the skin glow more transparently every +minute. + +"You have great intuition to feel that the women are beautiful," he +answered; "most people just group them all together under the name of +blacks, and are so blind mentally and physically as not to be able to +see their beauty. There is a race in the Soudan, of which the beauty +could not be surpassed. The colour is coal-black, but form and line +are perfect, both in face and body. Then another race has absolutely +perfect forms, though the face is of the negro type. Never anywhere +else could one see more gloriously modelled shoulders and arms than +those women have." + +At that moment the footman brought in coffee, and while they were +taking it the Rector came up, and the talk became general. + +Soon after Everest rose, with the excuse that he must not disturb their +early country hours, and said "Good-night." Regina, watching him as he +got up and stood, felt an electric wave of pleasure pass through her +from head to foot. The well-cut and fitting evening clothes displayed +all the admirable lines of his figure. The slimness and the grace of +it were a revelation to her. The light from the centre swinging lamp, +falling on the pale well-bred face, showed its perfection of carving, +its look of power and intellect. As he said good-night to her, she +gazed upon him, wide-eyed and in silence, and Everest, reading her +thoughts, felt amused and pleased. + +When he reached his rooms he turned the key in the lock and then threw +himself into the arm-chair by the open window. The soft air of the June +night came in, full of fragrance, from the Rectory garden. In the copse +beyond, the nightingales here and there burst into little trills and +long calls, and then were silent again, preparing for their unbroken, +tireless melody of the later hours. Everest sat very still in his +chair, one hand hanging idly over its arm, his even brows contracted, +thinking. Before coming down to the Rectory he had made up his mind +very decidedly that he would not allow this visit to draw him into +any complicated ties with the daughters of the house. Marriage was +far from his wishes or plans at that moment, and any relations with +anybody almost equally distasteful, since they would rob him of that +peace of mind and rest which his doctor had told him were essential, +and which he had come to the country rectory to find. He had heard that +the Misses Marlow were handsome girls of the ordinary type, and the +ordinary type, he knew, had no attraction for him. Certainly after the +conversation of the evening, he was convinced of his perfect safety +with either Jane or Violet. But Regina; at the first meeting of the +eyes, at the sight of that sweet enthusiasm of admiring welcome in +hers, at the touch of her hand, full of electric fire, he had realised +instantly that there was every danger here. And so strongly did this +feeling envelop him again when they said good-night that he felt +inclined, now, to summon his valet, and tell him to repack everything +for a return journey on the morrow. But the thought of the surprise, +the disappointment, the hurt feeling he would occasion checked him. + +His gaze wandered round his apartment. His quick eyes told him at once +how much personal care and pains had been bestowed on the room, to give +it the particular air of welcoming comfort it possessed. + +It was not the hands of servants that had looped up so gracefully with +bows of lilac ribbon the curtains of his bed, nor arranged all those +books of reference and the latest weekly papers on his writing-table. + +He took up idly the silver pen, put ready in the inkstand tray, +and saw it had "Violet" engraved upon it, and a handsome leather +blotting-book, filled with every writing necessity, even to stamps of +many denominations, bore its owner's monogram, "J. M." + +These things spoke to him, though many men might not have even noticed +them, and many others only noticed them to jeer. How kindly old John +Marlow had received him; and his wife--what pains she had taken +probably in thinking out that excellent dinner they had given him, and +the girls were all so pretty and fresh and eager to please. + +It would go against the grain of Everest's nature to wound them all by +suddenly leaving. Whatever excuses he made, they would still believe +his departure was due to some error of their own. But an intuitive +voice within him warned him that if the Devon coast was just the place +to eradicate the traces of African fever, from which he was suffering, +Stossop Rectory and Regina were not the best adjuncts to it. + +As he sat there, undecided, in the silence, the soft sound of a +casement above his own being set open came to him, and without any +particular intent or reason in his mind he rose and went to his own +window and looked out. The moon had just climbed above the copse, and +sent a warm, pale light across the sleeping garden. Everest looked +up, and there above him was the girl who was in his thoughts. She had +opened her window, apparently to look at the night, for her face was +turned towards the rising moon, and, quite unconscious, seemingly, +of any spectator, she leaned a little forward. Of her face Everest +could see nothing except the under part of her chin, but the light +fell full on the round column of her neck, upon the white expanse of +her bosom, upon the perfect arms supporting her, as her hands clasped +the sill. Its pale radiance invested the dazzling whiteness of the +skin with a peculiar and mystic brilliance, and, accustomed though +he was to women's beauty in any and every form, Everest drew in his +breath sharply with surprised admiration. She had taken off her evening +dress, and the low bodice she now wore possessed only two narrow straps +holding it to the shoulders, and passed below the snowy swell of the +breast, leaving it and the soft modelling of the arms and shoulders +all revealed. Yet the silver light, falling down and over and round +her, seemed to clothe her in shining armour. To any man, even to the +most material, it must have seemed a vision more of heaven than of +earth, and to Everest, with his artist's eye and mind, the sight had +a magic and a charm he could hardly define to himself. Silent, almost +breathless, he stood watching her, as silent and absorbed she herself +stood watching the moon slowly mount in the purple sky. + +Then suddenly she turned her head and looked down, why, Everest could +not tell, since he had made no sound. For one instant their eyes met. +He saw the beautiful arms bend at the elbows, with the change of +position; the face, a dark oval now, as it turned downwards, hung over +his; he saw the silver light illuminate all the masses of the fair +hair round it, for one second, that leapt by him into eternity all too +quickly; then she vanished noiselessly. The casement remained open, +but the light fell now only on its glittering panes. For a long time +the man waited by the window, his heart beating hard, but she did not +come back, and at last he turned away to his room and commenced his +undressing. The nightingales, perfectly attuned, now began to pour out +in the stillness the raptures of their song. Everest's face was dark +as he moved about the room. + +All resolve, all desire to go on the morrow had left him. A new and a +stronger one was waking in his veins. + +He turned down the lamp burning beneath its pretty, rose-coloured shade +and got into the bed, so carefully prepared for him, with lace-edged +sheet and silken coverings. + +As he laid his head down, on the pillow trimmed by Miss Marlow's own +hands a murmur passed his lips: + +"Well, I'll stay, and risk it." + + + + +CHAPTER II + +IN THE WAYS OF DELIGHT + + +The next morning Everest, after a troubled and restless night, found +himself the first in the breakfast-room, and when the door opened +it was Regina who came in. She was dressed in a morning cotton of +rose-colour, and either by contrast to that, or from emotion, her face +looked pale as their eyes met and he took her hand in his. + +"You were all in silver armour last night when I saw you," he said +gently, "like an image of Diana." The colour came then in soft waves to +her cheeks and beat there; her gaze seemed locked in his and could not +get away. + +"Diana was a horrid and cruel divinity, I like her least of any of +them; Venus was kinder," she murmured. + +"Well, you must be Venus to me," returned Everest, smiling down upon +her; his face had a gentle, tender expression, the tones of his voice +were very soft, and the girl's heart beat to suffocation as she heard +them. + +She could not answer. Just then the door opened and the Rector, with +the entire family group behind him, appeared in the doorway. Everest +and Regina moved a little apart, their hands, which had remained in +each other's, fell to their sides. Everest moved forward to greet his +host. + +"Glad to see you are an early riser," remarked the Rector genially. +"Did you sleep well?" + +"No, I can't say I did, there are so many disturbing influences in the +country: nightingales and church clocks and all sorts of things; then +when I did go to sleep I dreamt, which I never do in town." + +"What did you dream about?" asked Jane Marlow. She looked very pretty +this morning in a fresh white cambric, with a green ribbon round her +slim throat. + +"Of silver images," replied Everest, and his eyes went to Regina, who +stood by her place at the table. She looked down as she heard these +words; a tremor went through her whole frame. + +"How funny dreams are, they never seem to correspond to anything one +has seen or done in the day, do they?" replied Jane, and Everest +answered calmly, "Hardly ever." + +The coffee was brought in and they all closed round the table while the +Rector began to say grace. + +Breakfast was generally a most unpleasant meal at the Rectory. From the +last word of the long grace at the beginning, to the first word of the +long grace at the end, it was a series of surly, grumbling wrangles, +in which everyone showed their early-morning ill-humour to the utmost. +Mrs. Marlow, according to the Rector, had always done something wrong: +either she was late, or she had had the coffee made too weak, or too +strong, or the housemaid had not called him early enough, or too early, +or his bath was cold. Mrs. Marlow generally argued out the respective +points, until she was clearly proved in the right, or at least her +husband was reduced to an exhausted silence. Then the two sisters had +various complaints to make, or else the continuation of some personal +quarrel begun upstairs absorbed them. + +Regina, for herself, took no part in either the grace or the wrangling. +To her the first seemed rendered ludicrous by the Rector gabbling over +it, in a tremendous hurry, that he might begin abusing his wife; and +further, if the Creator gave them their breakfast, He presumably gave +them everything else, and of His gifts she would not certainly have +picked out this detestable breakfast to thank Him for. She would sooner +have thanked Him, sitting before her easel in solitude: "For what I am +about to paint," for the powers He had given her, than for what she was +about to eat in hostility at the table. + +She used to sit quite silent, while the waves of querulous, complaining +or angry voices rose and fell round her, and when she had finished +her meal, which she naturally did long before the others, since so +much disputing takes time, she would sit looking through the window, +watching the robins at their singing matches on the lawn, and longing +to be away with her painting or music, her Latin or Greek, or in the +enchanted garden, out of earshot at least of her amiable family and +their incessant discussion of things that to her view mattered so +little. + +She wondered to-day how the meal would go, because she believed they +were not bad-mannered enough to quarrel before a guest, and she was +astonished to find that the conversation, as a matter of fact, was kept +up entirely between her and Everest. For the latter, with a strenuous +resolve to ban the sick poor at breakfast, steered away from Miss +Marlow's opening remarks on almshouses, and plunged resolutely into the +heart of Africa, continuing the conversation with Regina which had been +interrupted last night. + +Regina had read much on Africa, and followed the history of many +explorers through Uganda, and wandered with many authors in the pigmy +forests and by the Great Lakes. Consequently, although she made some +mistakes, she had a good general knowledge of the subject, and her +eager enthusiasm, her perfect attention, her quick comprehension, made +her a naturally good and easy talker on any subject. + +As the rest of the family knew absolutely nothing about Africa, except, +as regards the Rector, that it was a country "full of black heathen," +as regards the mother, "that it was a swampy, unhealthy place, where +there were snakes and one got fever and things," and as regards the +sisters, that it was one of the places where "missions were sent to +cannibals," they remained out of the conversation and sat silent, +listening in wonder to the brilliant talk flying across the table, much +of which they could barely comprehend. + +After breakfast, when they had all risen, the Rector claimed Everest to +go with him to see his model cottages, recently erected in the village, +and Everest, grateful for having escaped the sick poor at breakfast, +felt it his duty to put up with some poor now, since his host wished +it, and consented pleasantly. + +"What are we going to do this afternoon?" he asked. + +He put the question in a general way, but his eyes sought Regina, who +turned hers aside with a singing gladness in her heart. + +Miss Marlow answered him: + +"We are going to drive you over to Lady Delamere's for tea--we start +from here about three." + +"I'll join you outside, Everest," called the Rector from the door. "I +have to look into my study for half-a-minute." + +Everest nodded and went up to his own room for his hat. Coming down he +met Regina alone, on the stairs, and paused. + +"You are coming this afternoon?" he asked. + +She was by a long window, through which the sun fell on her. Her face +looked just like a rose, in its pink and white colour, as she lifted it +towards him, standing two or three steps above her. + +"No," she answered, smiling, "mother and Jane and Violet are going, and +the carriage holds only four comfortably." + +"You and I could walk?" suggested Everest promptly. + +Regina laughed outright as the picture of her sisters' faces came +before her, as they would look if, when the carriage was starting, +Everest left his seat to walk with her. + +"Oh, no," she said; "we could not do that. My sisters have set their +hearts on taking you with them to the Delameres'." + +"Well, where are you going then?" he asked. + +"I shall go, I think, to the enchanted garden--it is such a lovely day." + +"How nice that sounds! The enchanted garden! I wish I were coming there +too." + +"Why do you wish it?" + +"I don't know. One cannot always trace the birth and growth of one's +desires." Regina gazed at him as he stood there, one hand on the +banister rail, thinking how truly wonderful he was in his difference +from all the other men she had ever seen. The crowded country church +on Sundays, what a mass of more or less ungainly, shambling, shuffling +figures it contained, representatives of the middle-aged or old +inhabitants; and the young men seen on the cricket and football ground, +how fat and round and stodgy they looked, or else how thin and weedy, +leaning over, as it were, the hollow of their own chests! + +But here in Everest's case how all was changed! It was difficult to +say whether the strength or grace of his figure left the greater +impression on the eye, so perfectly were the two united in it. It was +a form beautifully planned out by Nature, which the ceaseless activity +of its owner had enhanced. It suggested potential energy; the balance +and the poise of it, whether in action or repose, were always perfect. +It had that curious symmetry, that look of its perfect adaptability to +every possible movement, that one sees in the wild animal while at the +height of its beauty and power. To Regina's mind came, as she looked +at him, the thought of the slim and graceful fox, treading deftly with +its sure, trim feet the edge of the covert, with all that tremendous +power of swift, enduring speed locked in its beautiful, sinuous body. +And again the red deer of Exmoor occurred to her, with their splendid +carriage, their proud beauty of line, their clean-cut elegance of form. + +Everest was forty-six, but so lightly had the feet of the years +touched him in their flight over him that he looked hardly more than +twenty-eight or twenty-nine. His hair had not a single white strand in +it, nor had the dark moustache that flowed in a straight line across +his face, not pulled downwards nor twisted up, and of which some of +the threads glowed with a red-gold sheen on their blackness, if the +sun struck across them. Very few lines marked the clear, warm tan of +the skin; the teeth were even, perfect, untouched by dentistry. Life +and experience had added power and intellect to the face, had deepened +the mental charm without, as yet, taking from its physical beauty. Out +of the beautiful youth he had been at eighteen, Nature had built up +through all these years one of her masterpieces, and it seemed that she +was so pleased with it, now that it had reached its perfection, that +even she, fidget though she is, always doing and undoing, was loath to +begin her task of pulling it all to pieces. + +Regina gazed and gazed upon him in silence that was thrilled through +and through with joy, for to the artist there is no delight more keen +than looking on what is beautiful and perfect, and Everest asked her +with a little smile of what she was thinking. + +"Of an Exmoor deer that I saw standing, once, on a little tor at +sunrise, surveying the sleeping moor," she said slowly and in a low +tone, and then went on up the stairs, as she heard doors shutting, and +steps approaching from below. + +Everest passed on down. The beautiful imagery of her words won his +quick, artistic sense, and, little conceited as he was, the flattery +from the fresh, girlish lips pleased him. He went on, feeling well +able to grapple even with the model cottages and the sick poor. + +Regina in her room could do nothing; she tried to read, but she +only heard his voice speaking; she turned to the paintings, but she +hardly saw them: his face hung before her. Finally she descended to +the drawing-room and sought to play, but her hands dropped from the +keyboard, and she sat silent, gazing before her. + +So, she remembered, had she felt once before in her life, when Nature's +voice first called to her to leave her dolls and playthings and begin +to prepare herself for her life's work. + +How well she remembered that day, when first the scales of childhood +had fallen from her eyes, and her dolls, formerly living things, +had been seen for the first time as they were: bits of rag and wood +and stone. How she remembered the keen wonder she had felt, the +astonishment that she could play no more! + +Then had come the period of fierce intelligence, the appetite and +desire for work, the longing to know and to expand the brain. For +since Nature has made woman to be not only the mother but the nurse +of the child, and it is the mother's brain and not the father's that +is transmitted to the child, she gives to the female, with the first +development of sex, this sharp desire for knowledge, for learning, for +mental endowment, so that it may be duly passed on to the offspring. +Hence that overwhelming thirst for mental work, for study, which is +so common in the developing girl for these few years in her life, +so unusual in the male, who rarely learns, except for material and +worldly considerations. And as Nature's voice had peremptorily called +her from her playthings, and forced her to her studies, so now, her +time for study being over, Nature again summoned her to leave her +accomplished duties, and prepare herself for the new ones in store for +her. + +Nature was strong in Regina; she was its child. The cramped artifices +of civilisation had not got hold of her and stifled out of her the +breath of Nature. So after a time she abandoned all work, finding it +impossible, and sat gazing out of the window, thinking. + +At luncheon, Everest, having quite made up his mind as to his +afternoon's programme, which was to include other items besides the +Delamere call, took comparatively little notice of Regina, and talked +chiefly to the Rector on model cottages, and their morning's inspection. + +The Rector delightedly expounded his views, which seemed to Everest to +have for their aim the increasing dependence of the poor upon the rich, +the incompetent upon the capable, the weak and idle upon the strong and +industrious, and the undermining of what thrift the poor possessed by +removing the urgent necessity for it. + +The model cottages were to be practically free, with only a nominal +rent; old people were to be kept by the parish; sick people were to +be tended gratis; young people were to be encouraged to marry early +and bring into the world large families for their neighbours to +keep; chance immorality was to be avoided at all costs, and punished +mercilessly; large broods of infants, no matter from what drunken, +vicious, idle parents, were to be favoured and cared for out of the +money of the honest and sober, provided only the brood was born in +wedlock, and the father and mother had the sanction of the Church. + +Finally he gleefully totted up the subscriptions he had dragged out +of the unwilling hands of the hard-working and thrifty portion of +the villagers, for his doors, his windows, his model baths, his new +sinks, and only lamented that he was still short a hundred pounds for +finishing the hearths. + +Everest, to whom this exposition of views had been intensely repellent, +felt relieved that the point of asking for charity, up to which he felt +sure the Rector was slowly working, had been reached at last, and said +immediately: + +"Oh, well, you must count on me for the remaining hundred for the +fireplaces. I will give you the cheque after luncheon." + +The Rector flushed with pleasure. How convincing his arguments had been! + +"My dear Everest, it's most good of you. I assure you it will take a +load off my mind. I really feel ashamed to go and beg any more from my +parishioners, though I must say, hard pressed for money as they are, +and hard as they have to work for it, they seldom refuse me." + +Regina, sitting opposite them both, and watching the pale, severe +gravity that had come over the handsome countenance, knew that Everest +was giving that hundred, not because he cared whether the very unmodel +cottagers in their model cottages had hearths or not, nor whether the +tribes of sickly infants that they had no right to bring into the world +at all, since they could not keep them, were warmed by his fires or +not, but simply because it was Regina's father who asked him, and +because Regina herself sat opposite him, and another link was looped up +in that golden chain that was slowly forging in life's furnace to bind +her to him. + +"All the same you know I don't think you are right, John," Everest +answered easily, in his light, polished tones. "You think you are +alleviating poverty, but in reality you are creating it. The dread of +dying in the workhouse when they are old is the only stimulus to a +great many to work at all while they are young; take that away, and put +old vagabonds in free model cottages, what inducement do you give to +the young vagabond to work? And what reward have you for the honest, +sober hard worker if you take his savings to help keep his idle and +drunken brother? It seems to me you actually put a premium on idleness +and vice, and rob honesty and virtue to do it. Then as regards your +idea of morality, I think that the poor, hard-working, healthy girl, +who, without marriage, brings one healthy child into the world, and +works all her life to keep it, as many of them do, is a less deadly +enemy to society than those wretched, improvident couples who rush into +marriage and keep producing more and more unfit humanity, for which +there is no use, and which other people at their own self-sacrifice +have to support." + +The Rector's large face gradually grew purple as he listened; he was +a very heavy eater and drinker, and all his superabundant blood went +up to his head in boiling wrath if anyone attacked his particular and +exceedingly narrow outlook upon sexual subjects. Here, he had to choke +down his feelings as best he could, for he would not, on any account, +quarrel with Everest. Moreover the cheque was promised but not yet +written. He cleared his throat many times, and nervously broke up the +toast crusts lying at his left hand, before replying. + +"I know your views are peculiar," he said at last; "they were at +Oxford; I am afraid you hardly give due importance to the Sacraments of +the Church. Er ... have we all finished? Then let us say grace." + +Everest's eyes met Regina's and a little flash passed between them, an +instant's glance that was very dear to them both. She loved him for +every word he had uttered, and Everest knew that his views were hers, +by the glad eager look on her face as she listened to him. + +He knew each time he sat down to the table that his host was opposed +to him in every opinion, and that the others had no opinions at all. +It was only Regina, with her quick, active mentality, her rapid +perceptions, that was with him, on every subject, and somehow the +knowledge seemed very sweet to him, and to draw them very closely +together. + +Luncheon over, the elder girls went up to change their toilettes, and +Everest and Regina stepped through the long windows out upon the lawn. +It was a wonderful day. After a cold and stormy spring, summer had come +in with that perfect glory, that golden radiance, that rescue England's +reputation from entire ruin. + +The sky, of the palest, most delicate blue, showed tiny dapplings of +pearly white against its sapphire clearness; all the air seemed dancing +with a golden sheen, and in it seemed to hang, like a canopy, the scent +of flowers, of the pink and white snow of the May not yet over, of the +laburnum already in blossom. + +"What a heavenly day!" Everest exclaimed. "I wish you were coming with +us this afternoon." + +"So do I, as you are going," she answered, looking up at him, +delighting in the sensation of walking beside him and seeing that dark +brilliant face above her. "But I know my sisters will like it best as +it is. I shall go to the garden and think about you instead." + +"Of me? A poor subject, I am afraid. You were better off with the +_Cyclops_." + +"I can't get interested in it now. Do you know, I tried everything this +morning: Greek and Latin and painting, and I tried to play; it was all +no good. I had to just sit still and think about you." + +Everest looked at her, but she met his gaze quite openly and simply. +Her eyes were innocent, frank, ingenuous. There seemed no design on +her part to flatter him. She merely appeared to feel no necessity for +concealing what she thought. She admired him and said so, she thought +about him and said so. That was all. There was none of the veiled +would-be seduction of the women he was accustomed to. + +Praise and adulation so absolutely transparent, so obviously honest, +has an irresistible power. It ceases to be flattery; it becomes homage, +and has its effect on the recipient, as incense has upon the senses. + +"I shall be sorry if my coming here has interrupted your work and +lessened your powers," he answered, and his voice had grown suddenly so +sad and grave that Regina exclaimed: + +"Oh, never be sorry for me that you have come! If you knew how +perfectly happy I am. Your visit here and your companionship is to me +just as if the sun or moon had come down to walk about with me." + +Everest laughed outright. + +"Either might be a most dangerous companion, it seems to me," he +answered, and Regina laughed with him. + +"But think of the honour and the experience, the novelty, the joy of +it! It would be well worth being burned alive for, I think!" + +Everest did not answer for a moment. His laugh died away, and she +thought his face looked pale and grave in the sunlight. Just then the +Rector's voice came to them calling Everest, and Regina drew away +towards the copse. + +"Good-bye, then. I am going to the garden. I hope you will enjoy your +afternoon." And as he turned back to his host, she disappeared in the +soft green shadows of the wood. + +She walked quickly, and could have well run or danced, she felt so +full of life and joy; the breeze was soft, it came to her cheek like a +caress. The wood seemed full of music; small birds were warbling in it +everywhere and calling to each other across the leafy screen of green; +the leaves themselves quivered and rustled and murmured in the warm and +scented air. + +Regina for the past few years had been happy in the knowledge of her +youth and power to please, and now that love had come to her also, +it seemed as if her heart, her whole system, could not contain her +delight. For she knew within herself that though nothing had been +said, and though his acquaintance with her could be measured by hours, +Everest was going to love her just as the doctor and the master and the +assistant master and the curate had done. There was the same curious +softening of all his face when he looked at her as she had seen in +theirs, the same velvet edge to his tones when he spoke to her, as she +had heard from them. And while their love was useless to her, because +she could not return it, for this man she felt she could, and was ready +to feel a passionate adoration, to pour out her life in love for him, +and so know the supreme happiness that Nature holds in this life for +a woman. To be loved is nothing, to love is something, to love and +be loved is everything. Critical and sensitive about every point in +another, as she was, so that the least deviation from her standard of +beauty or intellect would have spoiled the perfection of her feeling, +she could find nothing wanting in Everest; in all her dearest dreams +and visions no ideal had ever been invested with greater charm than the +living man now had for her. And it seemed to her like a miracle in her +favour that, of all the men that might have come to her home, he had +been the one to do so. + +To be merely in the same room with him, to see and hear him talking to +another, to study him as he leant back in an arm-chair, reading, and +watch the slender brown hand, that she knew had such power, hold a book +or newspaper, seemed to make her whole being vibrate with delight; and +he admired her, wondered at her, liked to match his learning and his +talk with her, was interested in, sought her; soon, she knew, he would +desire and love her. And the price of it all? What would it be? Her +feet, that had been dancing so merrily over the green moss, stopped +suddenly; a trembling seized all her limbs and a chill came over her in +the soft sunny air. She sank on an old log, by the winding path, both +hands pressed over her heart to still its beating. In these moments she +knew, whatever the price, she must pay it. + +When the time came for him to ask anything from her, she must give it. +She knew beforehand she could not resist him, could not refuse or deny +to this man anything, because of the glorious pleasure of the giving, +pleasure that would compensate her for everything, for life itself, if +won.... + +She was very pale as she sat there and shivered, for love is absolutely +merciless and inexorable, and counts out its moments of supreme delight +against the drops of its victim's life-blood, and she knew this. All in +a moment, in the midst of her happy triumph, the thought of his wealth +and position, so far above her own in its powers and possibilities, +had reared itself up in her mind, like a great wall towering over her, +menacing to crush her. She hated it; it separated him from her. If he +had only been poor, like the young master, who had had nothing but +his life, which he had laid down at her feet! How perfect then her +happiness might have been! The meanest, commonest existence, shared +with Everest, would have been as if it were wrapped in cloth of gold +to her. Tiny rooms, poor living, hard working, what would she have +cared? Had he said: "Marry me and come to a lonely tent in the burning +Soudan," she would have said: "Yes," oh, how gladly! As she would have +said it had he asked her to marry him and share a prison, or hell +itself. But some instinct told her that Everest would not want to marry +her, that a man with that accumulated wealth and vast inheritance would +not enter marriage merely for the sake of passion; that he would need +other conditions, which she vaguely felt she did not fill. + +And even if in the blindness of love he offered it, would it be her +part, would it be right to accept it? + +Suppose in the awakening, after, from that blinding dream that passion +is, she saw that he regretted? + +How it would rend her, heart and soul, to think that she, who would +cast down her life like a mantle, for him to walk over, did he wish it, +had brought him a burden of regret! + +The thought hurt and stung her; it bit deeply into her brain. She +rose and hurried on with quick steps to the garden, as if seeking its +protection from these thoughts, that pursued her like living things. + +Whatever happened, she thought, she would be content as long as no +suffering through her fell on him. Nothing would she take, nothing +would she accept from him, that meant loss or sacrifice to himself. On +that she was quite resolved. + +To a woman's passion is always added the wonderful instinct of maternal +love. In all its wildness, in all its demands, there is still that +guiding, underlying impulse to shield, to protect, to guard, to +encircle with tender care the man she loves, and in Regina, now that +she loved, this instinct rose to its full strength, and pervaded all +her heart and soul. She herself and all that happened to her was of no +moment. At all costs Everest was to be considered; his happiness kept +safe and sacred in her hands. + +Her quick walking soon brought her to the garden and the sea. As +she unlocked the gate she noticed how the summer heat of the last +twenty-four hours had called the laburnum into bloom. The whole garden +glowed golden with it! On every side it gleamed and shone like amber +rain, falling amongst the other foliage. Never had she seen it look so +beautiful in its contrast with the pale blue of the sky, never had the +rich yellow tint of it been so perfect. Rejoiced, she walked round all +the narrow winding paths. She longed to show the garden to Everest, and +it seemed as if it had arrayed itself in its most radiant and glorious +dress in honour of his coming. + +The standard rose-trees made of the centre a mass of vivid colour; +the May was all in bloom, and the wild tamarisk threw up against the +azure light a perfect foam of pink blossom. The perfumes from all the +different flowering plants and trees floated mingling in the still +and sheltered air like the strains of melody, wandering through and +interwoven in a musical harmony; and the hum of the happy bees, the +call of the nesting birds, the coo of the doves, rose and fell sweetly +above the low murmur and ripple of the sea. Anxious and foreboding +thoughts slipped from her mind; as always here, she relapsed joyously +into reflecting simply upon Everest, upon his personality that so +called to her own, upon the delight of his having come there, and all +that wonder and rapture lying hidden in the heart of life to which her +eyes were being opened. + +She found her way to a little rustic seat beneath the palm at last, and +there sat down, amongst the maze of roses, only wanting one thing to +complete her happiness--his presence there. + +The hot hours of the noonday went softly past, and the day hastened +to array itself in fresh beauty to meet the sunset; the light began +to deepen, the sky to flush with rose, the air to grow heavier with +fragrance. + +Those birds that were still singing, not yet exhausted by their nesting +cares, gave out their last floods of melody before the approach of +evening. + +Suddenly as she sat there she heard a step on the gravel, and started. +This was her sacred ground; no one had a right to come there; but she +guessed whose step that was, firm and light and springing like the +tread of a deer. + +She sprang up, her heart leaping with joy, and through the drooping, +swaying palm branches saw the slim figure she expected approaching, and +the light falling sideways across the dark and handsome face. + +She went forward to meet him, making no effort to conceal the joy and +pleasure shining in her eyes. + +"How lovely this is! I am so glad you have come! How did you get in?" + +"By the gate." + +"But I locked it." + +Everest laughed. "Locked gates are nothing to me. I jumped over it!" + +"How splendid!" she said, gazing at him, her soft azure eyes full of +admiration. "That high, spike-topped gate! I wish I had seen you. And +how did you get here? How did you find the garden?" + +"I walked here from the Delameres'." + +"Walked! It's fifteen miles to their house." + +"Well, what is fifteen miles?" he answered, smiling down into her +upraised face. "Nothing, after fifty miles a day of cross country, as +I have often had to do; and as to finding you, in comparison with the +interior of Africa, Stossop's geography is pretty easy." + +"How wonderful you are," she said softly, "and I am so glad you are +here. I wanted to show you my garden. What do you think of it?" + +"It is a beautiful place. It seems like those magic gardens one reads +of. One can't believe it's just ordinary England." + +"It is perfect to me now you are here. I was wishing so much for you to +come." + +"It must have been that which drew me here to you--darling." + +He had not meant to use that word, nor any endearing term, but it +passed his lips almost unconsciously; she did look such a darling in +her pretty summer dress, with her fresh, pink-tinted face all aglow +with her ardent, enthusiastic welcome of himself. And he knew, as he +looked at the lovely, youthful form, that there was the spirit of a +lioness within. She was a thing of life and light and fire; full to the +brim, like himself, of ardent energy and power. There was no doll-like, +sawdust body here, with brains of wool, as many of the women had had +whom he had known, lovely though their outsides had been. + +She attracted him violently, irrepressibly; there was an all-compelling +magnet in each slender finger, as he touched her hand. + +Nature does not take long in setting up her wondrous all but +unbreakable current of electricity when she has brought together two +individuals suitable to mate with each other, and just like that other +common form of electricity which holds the hands relentlessly to a +battery so that their owner has no power to lift or stir a finger, so +does this other magnetic current sweep round its two captives, binding +them together without will or power to move asunder. + +At the word "darling" a quiver passed over Regina's face and she looked +away as if she had not heard. + +It is the part of virginity to flee from passion, and instinctively it +fulfils its part as long as passion pursues. If there is any pause in +the chase, virginity kindly stops and waits, till passion is ready to +take up the pursuit, when it promptly flies again. + +So Regina, with her pulses leaping with joy and her feet on air, and +seeing the garden about her, all transfigured with a new glory, at the +sound of that word in his voice looked away instinctively and seemed +not to have heard. + +They walked round the green turf, the roses nodding in the gently +moving air and throwing their perfume on to it, under the thick wild +unpruned tamarisk, that looked like the softest feathers against the +glowing sky, under the swaying palms that threw shadow and sunlight +alternatively down on them, and then on by those little dark green +winding paths where the air was still and warm and dusk laden with the +scent of the rose and the vital life-giving salt breath of the sea. + +They spoke a little, mostly in praise of the beauty around them, or of +the doves flying in circles overhead, or of the wild calling note of +the nightingale that came from the thickets, and both were intensely +happy in the beauty and proximity of the other and because of the magic +steel-like ring that nature was drawing tighter and tighter round them, +each moment forcing them towards each other. + +As last, before them, through the crossing and re-crossing of delicate +lines of branch and leaf, they saw the gleam of purple and the glitter +of the sea. Regina quickened her steps a little and reached first the +porphyry balustrade and leant over with a little cry of delight as her +eyes caught all the radiance gathering in the western sky and all the +jewelled light flung on the opposite coast, where peak and headland lay +in lines of velvet blue under a golden haze. + +"Oh, look how lovely this is," she said, as Everest came and stood +beside her. "I have a painting of it that I did on an evening like +this. I should like to show it to you." + +"Did you paint this?" he said. "It is a difficult subject. What a lot +you have learnt in your few short years of life! You seem to know so +much, and then to be only eighteen; you are a revelation to me." + +A little smile played over her face, irradiated by the mellowing light +as she looked up at him. + +"I am so glad," she said simply. "I should like to please you. To me +you are the most wonderful, beautiful and perfect person I have ever +seen." + +"Regina." He was very near her now, one arm came round her shoulder. +Ah, that touch, how it moved her, the first touch of that being she so +admired, how it vibrated through her, body and mind, from head to foot. +She recognised the strength and force of the arm, yet how gentle and +reverent its contact was with her now. How strange it is that amongst +a hundred men who might touch a woman and leave her wood and stone to +them there is perhaps just one whose slightest contact may give her +that extreme ecstasy! + +She did not move from him, only looked up with all the fires of the +sunset in her eyes. The face that she would have chosen out of all +the world hung just above her; the man that she would have chosen out +of all the world was there beside her, seeking her. She had no other +thought than to please him, to yield to his empire. At any cost, at any +sacrifice of herself, at the price of her life, if necessary, she was +dedicated, consecrated to him; worship, adoration was in her face and +in her heart as she looked up at him. It is the spontaneous impulse in +all virgin love, and those women who have not felt it for their lovers +have missed love's soul. + +Everest bent down and kissed her, and in all her after years Regina +could never recall a higher pinnacle of joy to which she had climbed +than was reached in that first kiss. The very purity of it, the first +expression of her whole ardent, unstained soul, the etherealised +emotions of awe and wonder of devotion that went through it, lifted it +out of the range of earthly things. Regina's kiss, full of passionate +enthusiasm as it was, was still like the burning kiss of the young +nun upon her rosary, as the strains of the anthem bear away her soul +to heaven. Everest understood her perfectly, practised as he was in +these matters, and being himself of that sensitive timbre that made +him respond easily to and comprehend every grade of varying emotion in +another. + +People had called him dissipated and reckless, simply because he had +always been unconventional and lived according to the laws of his own +conscience instead of the laws of the world. But all his pleasures had +been of the refined and delicate order, things of the mind and soul as +well as the body--the pleasures of the wild poetic Celtic nature rather +than of the coarse and brutal Saxon. The mere wallowing of the body in +physical indulgence, whether of drunkenness, overeating, or other vice, +was unknown to him. The excitable brain, the refined and sensitive +mind, in his case must be charmed and captured before pleasure could +begin. + +It was to these that Regina in her innocent and unveiled admiration +so appealed, and his touch was very tender and gentle as he drew her +wholly into his arms up against his breast, and the girl yielded, +silent, submerged in that overwhelming first delight of love, that no +after one can wholly surpass. So they stood for a few minutes in the +light, both feeling the happiness of the world was absolutely complete. + +Then the man relaxed his clasp suddenly and put her away from his arms +in the same decisive way he had drawn her into them. His face was very +pale and set as he turned from her and leaned over the balustrade, +looking away to the gorgeous fires of the west. + +Regina stood quite silent, passive, shaken with happiness, voiceless. + +He had put her away from him, swept over by some feeling she did not +understand, but she yielded to that as obediently as when he had drawn +her to him. It was a delight to watch him, and her fascinated eyes +strayed over him as he leant beside her; and behind him, growing deeper +and fiercer every moment, burned the red flare of the sunset. + +After a long silence, in which Regina had studied the fine outline +of his head and neck, the small ear, the dear arm in the light grey +sleeve, the fine linen of the cuff enclosing the smooth and supple +wrist, he said: + +"I should be so interested in your paintings, when may I see them?" + +"It is rather difficult," she answered, in a low tone. "I don't think +my people would like me to bring them to the drawing-room, they don't +really care about any of those things." + +There was a pause for a moment, then he said, turning to her: + +"Would you like to bring them to my sitting-room after dinner, some +time when the others are gone to bed?" + +"Yes, I could do that," she answered simply. He saw she was thinking at +the moment only of her work, and the unconventionality of such a visit +did not oppress her, was not even near her mind. + +"We must go now," she said regretfully, "or we shall be late. I think," +she added slowly, "we had better not go back together. Will you go home +and I will follow by the short cut to the house. My sisters know that +I spend a great deal of my time here, but they would not like it if +they thought that you came. They would want to come here too, and then +all the peace and beauty I enjoy would be spoiled. Do you see?" + +"Perfectly," said Everest, smiling, as they turned from the sea to the +scented shades of the garden. + +"This place has always been for you alone and now it is to be for us +alone. We will share it with no one and tell nobody of our comings and +goings." + +He spoke lightly, jestingly, but both felt that the pact they had made +was a serious one, a pact for companionship in hidden solitude in this +magic, intoxicating place. + +The paths were very narrow between the encroaching foliage of flowering +shrubs on every side, and they had to walk closely together, sometimes +touching each other in the soft violet shade beneath the overhanging +trees, and each time her fair head and rose cheek moved near him he +longed to draw her into his arms and kiss her again, but he would not +yield to the impulse, and almost in silence they passed on through the +groves till they were near the high gate by which he had entered. + +"Will you jump it again?" she said, smiling up at him. + +"No; I have no inclination now," he answered. "There is nothing I want +on the other side." + +The girl coloured and laughed at the implied compliment. Bending down +and putting the key in the gate, she opened and pushed it. It swung +wide, giving access to the quiet road, full now of a luminous rose dusk +beneath its arching trees. + +"Shall I see you and the pictures this evening?" he asked. + +"Yes, I will bring them," she answered, and just at that moment, over +their heads in the thickets of climbing rose, a nightingale burst into +its loud throbbing, commanding call. They listened, hesitating, while +the mad, impatient beat of it vibrated through the quiet air, and far +off somewhere in the woods, after an interval, came back an answering +call. + +Then he passed through the gate and the girl stood watching him, +delighting in the beauty of his quick and easy walk down the shadowy +road. When he had vanished she turned back and went by the winding path +to the centre palm, and there, beneath its protecting boughs, she threw +herself down, laying her face against the bosom of the springing turf. + +"I was right, I was right," she murmured to herself. "It is more +beautiful than music, than the sunset skies, than the golden light on +the palms, than the play of the moonbeams; and it is like them all. +Bright as the sunlight, mysterious as the ocean, wonderful as the +fragrance of the rose, that is what they call love, and I have it, I +have found it in its perfection. What happiness! What good fortune!" +She lay still and silent, wrapped round and round in a strange soft +delight, lulled as if in some half-waking dream by the cooing of the +doves above her, the wave of the tamarisk in the hot air, the low +murmur of the sea. + +The doves came down near her, finding her so still. They were very +tame, for she came there to feed them all through the winter, and she +heard the twinge of its lovely wings as one almost brushed her cheek. + +She turned and stretched out her hand to it. "Bird of Venus," she said +softly, "Erasmie peleia, come and talk to me." And the dove let her +gather it up to her breast and put her lips on its sleek head. "Born of +love and for love, I love you," she murmured to it. "Did you see him +kiss me this evening? Oh, dove! how wonderful that was." She pressed +her warm hands on the shoulders of the bird and kissed it again. Then +she opened her clasp and let it go, for she could not bear to constrain +it, but the bird only fluttered as far as her feet and stayed there +beside her, pecking in the grass. + +Regina looked up to the sky through the palm leaves. It was deeply +flushed now, even to the zenith, and strangely luminous. + +"For their paradise, the Mohammedans thought of beauty and women--that +is, love--and the Christians thought of the rapture of music and the +ecstasy of adoration, and that is love too; the idea underlying both is +the same, and neither could think of anything better than that." + +She was a little late for dinner, but everybody else was the same, and +the Rector never stormed nor swore at his family before strangers. +Moreover he was in a particularly good temper, as in addition to +Everest's cheque he had picked up another good donation for the +cottages from Lady Delamere. So the dinner was quite a cheerful meal +and passed over in good temper and gaiety. + +At ten-thirty Everest was sitting in his sitting-room expecting +Regina. The room was lighted by large swinging lamps depending from +the ceiling, so that the light was good and well diffused; on the +table stood a spray of white roses in a vase, for Everest was fond of +flowers, and as he had not found any put in his room he had gathered +some in the Rectory garden and brought them in himself. + +The window stood open and the scent of the climbing flowers all around +the sill filled the air with fragrance. + +He sat idle, thinking of Regina and the strong, fearless, self-reliant +sort of character she had. How simply and easily she had assented to +his invitation to come to his room to show her pictures! Just as a man +would do. She seemed to be entirely without that mincing, mawkish way +so many girls and women have, that silly, hesitating questioning about +every trifle. Shall I? Ought I? Is it proper? Will it seem this or that? + +Regina gave him the idea of being absolutely innocent and upright, and +therefore candid and fearless; never accustomed to consider or trouble +about the opinions of others. He felt that about her own actions she +would only ask herself, Is it right? Whereas most people do not care in +the least about that, all they ever ask themselves is, What will others +think? How will it seem? Will it be found out? And this attracted him +in her greatly. + +At a little after the half-hour he heard her step outside and went to +open the door for her. She came in with a smile, both hands full of her +paintings, clasping them to her. + +Everest pulled forward some chairs, and together they set the sheets +up, leaning against the backs where the light fell best upon them. +There were about twenty paintings in water-colour and they found +places for most of them. Then Everest retreated to the point from where +he could see them best and considered them in silence. + +He was surprised. He had expected something more of the ordinary young +lady's drawing-room decorations, though he felt sure that all Regina +created would be artistic and beautiful. But here he saw at once it was +a special talent that he was looking at, that here was no question of a +little skill acquired with a drawing-master's aid. Here were no copies +of rustic cottages, nor yet the inevitable mill, water-wheel and bridge. + +Each picture was strong, vivid, with its own marked stamp upon it, and +a challenging originality was in them all. The tones of colour, the +effects of light were marvellous; sunset and dawn, the radiance of the +late afternoon, the deep shades of approaching night--all were here +rendered in their idealised, sublimated form, showing, as the artist +always seeks to show, the essence of beauty. + +Regina stood beside him, also looking at the pictures. He divined that +she was quite lost in their contemplation, that his own presence for +the moment was a secondary thing. This also proves the artist, for to +him even the height of passion is less than the height of his artistic +attainment. + +"What do you think of them?" she asked, after a silence. + +"I think they are quite beautiful; they are surprising. You have a +magnificent gift." + +Regina flushed and trembled with pleasure. Hitherto her art had given +her intense joy as she recognised the worth in her creations. But now +she felt that intenser joy of bringing it forward to another and +seeing its effect on him, for the first time. The praise that we know +ourselves is true! What a delight it brings with it. That this man whom +she so admired and longed to please should be interested in her work, +surprised at its excellence, made her heart beat and her eyes dance. + +Everest was greatly interested. An artist himself, he saw directly the +difficulties of the subjects she had chosen, and the talent that was +necessary to overcome them as she had done. He picked up first one and +then another, looking at them from a distance to see the general effect +and examining them closely to consider the workmanship, and the girl +sat silent, watching him, as he handled her sacred work that was so +dear to her and that had never been before any eyes for judgment until +now. Her sisters and mother knew that she painted, and had seen her +work occasionally in her room, but knowing and caring nothing about +such things they had not heeded it. + +Now she sat absorbed, watching him and the beautifully coloured work +glowing in his hands. + +"They are all wonderfully done. As you have had no lessons, and never +been taught, it simply means you have a great genius for it," he said, +laying down the last sheet and looking over to where she sat, a sweet +picture herself in her white dinner dress, gazing so earnestly at him +with her lustrous eyes, her rose-hued face supported on her hand, her +milky, dimpled elbow leaning on the chair arm. + +"I am so glad," she said softly. "I hoped it might be so, for when I go +to Exeter and see exhibitions of painting there, and the things they +sell in the shops, somehow I feel that mine are--well, different." + +"They are quite different, and very much better than the ordinary +water-colour--this is a most difficult subject, and perfectly done." He +lifted a painting of the enchanted garden. All across the foreground +waved boldly the mass of wild flowering tamarisk; admirably thrown +back, the garden and its wealth of roses was seen behind and beyond, +far off across the hazy blue of the sea burned the sunset sky in +softest crimson. + +"I should like to have that in my gloomy London rooms." + +"Would you really?" she answered, all her face glowing. "Do then accept +it. I am so proud and honoured and delighted. Do, please, choose any +one you like, or more than one. They would all be yours if you wished +it." + +"This one appeals to me specially, and I shall never part with it, +because it is the scene of our first kiss," Everest said, in a low +tone, and rose with the picture in his hand to make space for it on the +mantelpiece. As he did so he took a velvet case from before the glass +and laid it on the table. It was just by Regina, and she glanced at it. + +"What a beautiful face," she said, as the miniature of a girl's head +with a delicate, cameo-like profile met her eyes. + +"That? Yes; it's my cousin. She is considered very pretty," answered +Everest from the mantelpiece; where he was installing her painting. + +A little chill came over Regina as she looked; the cold, perfect face +seemed to hold her gaze. His cousin's! Her portrait here! Suddenly his +life, his far-off existence that was all so vague to her, had put out a +hand and claimed him. + +She sat silent, and Everest turned from the hearth, closed the frame +and laid it on a side-table. Regina's painting now sat enthroned before +the glass. The whole room was bright with pictures. Windows seemed open +everywhere in the walls through which one saw vivid skies and seas and +waving trees. They spoke about them all in turn; two artists together +with fresh work to view will sit and talk all night over it if left +undisturbed. + +It struck twelve by her sister's silver clock on his table, before +either of them noticed how the time had gone. + +She sprang up from her chair and gathered the paintings together. + +"How wrong of me to stay so late! And you came here to get well and +keep early hours; I am so sorry." + +She was going, and Everest rose from his seat and saw her flushed with +excitement and pleasure, a joyous, shining vision in the lamplight. The +colour came suddenly to his own face, the dark eyes lit up, he made a +movement towards her. + +"Regina, one good-night kiss." + +She looked back at him standing under the light. Just behind him, near +the closed panels of the door into his room, over his shoulder she +saw the open casement standing wide to the mysterious, all-sheltering +night. She hesitated, and suddenly Everest turned aside. + +"No, it is better not; you are my guest this evening. Good-night, my +sweet." + +Regina backed towards the door and softly, silently vanished through +it. With flying, noiseless feet she ran up the stairs to her own room +and there, laying the paper sheets on the bed, threw herself on her +knees beside it with her head on her outstretched arms. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +THE GIFT + + +For some days Everest and Regina had no opportunity of meeting in the +enchanted garden. The family had the idea that their guest was to be +entertained and amused, and set themselves to their self-imposed task +with commendable thoroughness. He was driven out to afternoon teas, +escorted to flower-shows, taken to garden-parties; lawn-tennis was +arranged for the morning; rides in the wood or motorboat excursions +on the sea for the afternoon; and though Regina took no part in a +great many of these various diversions, still the same roof was +sheltering them both, they saw each other constantly, and almost always +at breakfast the conversation was entirely theirs. In this way the +passion between them grew and grew; all the more steadfastly as it was +impossible for them to gratify their strenuous wish to be alone in each +other's society, to know the joy again--the "divine joy," as Plato +describes it, "of the kiss and the touch." + +Regina grew to admire him more and more as their talks together +revealed his views and opinions; his wonder at the logical clearness +of her mind, the extent of her reading, the leaping quickness of her +intellect, increased with each day, and as his passions had always a +large share of mentality in them this brilliance of her brain attracted +him as much as her soft colour or her waving hair. Every day as she +talked with him across the breakfast-table, or listened to him, with +wide, interested, reverent eyes, he longed to press those bright lips +and draw the dear clever head down on his shoulder. + +At last, after some days of unintermittent social gaiety, he said to +the Rector, when they were alone: "Look here, John, I don't want you to +exert yourself to provide these sorts of amusements for me. I can have +all this in town. You know I came here to rest and be quiet and get rid +of the fever. I like it best when I can just stroll about in the woods +and have nothing to do." + +"You're perfectly free to do just what suits you best," returned the +Rector, "don't let anyone worry you. The girls are going to some +garden-party this afternoon, I believe, but don't let them drag you +there if you don't care about it." + +"I think I will really stay away this time," Everest answered. "I +should like to stroll somewhere in the country this afternoon and so +get some exercise." + +It fell out accordingly that the feminine portion of the family, +exclusive of the youngest daughter, drove away to the garden-party +after luncheon, the Rector went to the village to inspect his schools +and Everest was left alone to walk down to the sea, to the enchanted +garden, to Regina. + +She was there waiting for him under the blossom-laden trees, in +her prettiest of pale green dresses, and without any speech at all +they rushed into each other's arms, and kissed, driven by a wild +instinctive, self-preservative longing to make an exchange of that +electricity, that had been stored up in each of them for many days, +increasing every hour, and, since it was denied any outlet, burning +into their own heart and brain, and consuming their vitality. + +Those sweet, glad kisses restored the balance of electricity between +them and seemed to fill them with new life and energy. It was such a +lovely day, where should they go, what should they do? And when Everest +suggested walking somewhere, the girl was ready with ideas and plans, +like an orderly laying the new route before the colonel. + +"Let us walk if you like along the sands to the next village. There is +a dear little inn in the bay where we can have tea and then come round +by the wood home. Would you like that?" she asked, gazing up to his +handsome face, the skin of which looked so cool and clear in the green +light of the garden--green light which intensified the darkness of his +eyes in their downward gaze upon her. + +"Very much," he answered simply; and so they started, descending from +the garden by a little gate in the porphyry balustrade, and a steep +flight of steps to the hard glistening sands, to walk to Heddington, +a small sunlit village lying far back in the bay. That walk, how it +remained always in the girl's memory!--that happy walk along those +glittering sands, at the border of the purple sea. How her dancing feet +carried her along beside him! She felt so joyously conscious of her +youth and health. She knew that the sloping sunbeams turned her hair +into gold beneath her straw hat, that the purple of the sea and the +blue of the sky got into her eyes, and that he was pleased with her +as his gaze met hers. And their talk; what a splendid thing it was; +its newness, its range over so many themes delighted her. The talk of +Stossop always stayed in Stossop, and wearied the girl to death by its +inane repetitions, but their talk wandered all over the world and took +them with it and up and down the centuries from Palæolithic times, and +sometimes it called up visions of Indian coral and they almost looked +to see it in the Devon sea, and sometimes it made a distant group of +black rocks seem like an ancient caveman fighting a bear. And yet +it was all so light and laughter-filled, with none of the pedagogic +solemnity of the half-educated person, trying to show the half of him +that knows and keep concealed the half which is ignorant. + +Everest never talked like a schoolmaster, but as an artist--in +pictures; and Regina had nothing of the schoolmistress in her, only +that true, deep thirst for knowledge, that had carried her down into +the depths of the heaviest learning and from which she had emerged, her +brain brilliant and shining, her language full of beauty and supple and +keen. + +To both, the moments seemed to race by like a golden stream. They +hardly seemed to have left the red steps of the garden before they +found themselves at Heddington, and Everest ordered tea for them to be +brought out on the creeper-covered terrace, that hung over the shining +sea. + +When they first turned the angle of rock, and came into the small, +white-sanded bay and saw the inn just in front of them, in its bridal +veil of white roses, the girl sighed and stayed still. + +"Oh, I am so sorry to think our walk is over!" + +Everest came close to her, slipped his hand through her arm and pressed +it. + +"Why should you be sorry, darling?" he asked. "We are not going to part +here. We shall still be together." + +There was a tender accent, a stress of deep feeling in his voice. Her +eyes looked up to his face, her breath came and went quickly. She was +not to be sorry--and he was not--because they were still together. + +So the great fact was voiced between them, and they became aware of the +pressing desire, the colossal wish, beside which everything else became +insignificant, the wild, passionate longing in each--to be together. + +"I know," she said falteringly, after a pause, "but I am so sorry to +think that half the time is gone. We are that much nearer to it being +over," and from that minute she felt inclined to catch at each moment +going by; all of them were wonderful, precious moments, and they shone +in her memory afterwards, like golden stars, in the dark nights of her +future. + +The moment when they entered the cramped dark hall of the inn, where +a mysterious blue light reigned, owing to the blue paper covering the +glass of the end window, and giving effectively, yet economically, the +idea of a stained-glass casement. This blue light, in its novelty, +called fresh pleasure to her mind, as she saw the reflection of her own +face in the hall mirror float mistily and lily-like in it. + +The moment when, emerging on the terrace, they sat down under the +canopy of rose, looking out towards the sea, now calm, only slightly +tremulous, all pink and silver in the quiet bay, and she heard +Everest ordering tea for them, with every luxury imaginable added +for her, she knew for her, since he rarely took cakes and chocolates +and strawberries and cream; and the moment when they sat silent and +very near together, looking at each other over the empty tea-cups, and +drinking in the peace and sweetness, the calm of all about them. + +What a pity to have to go back to the Rectory. Overhead a little +window, embowered in roses, looked out upon the sea. That window +belonged to a room that the voluble innkeeper had offered Everest if +they wanted to stay the night. What a pity that they couldn't stay at +the little inn and sit side by side on its terrace, looking out to a +pink and silver distance for ever and ever! Such thoughts were in their +minds, equally in the man's as in the girl's; with such little simple +pleasures does cunning Nature amuse her cleverest children, for these +little things, these tiny golden seconds, are bridges leading over to +the great, the greatest things in life. + +And the walk back inland, through the great green woods, was a rapture +too, though pierced by pain, as each step brought them nearer home. + +Their talk went on, bright, inspiring talk, never personal, never +petty, but always on the wide, open fields, in the broad plains of +thought and intellect; for these two were absolutely alike in their +abhorrence of the common and the commonplace, the mean, the small and +the trivial, and they were also very singularly akin in all emotions +and modes of thought, in their estimation of man, in their view of him +as the blot upon creation, as Nature's mistake, in their estimation +of his rapacity and cruelty, his infinite littleness and stupidity. +They were alike too in their love for the animal world, for all the +gracious, sweet and lovely lives about us on this earth, that man, in +his stupendous imbecility, dares to say were created for him to trample +upon. + +In this connection, the girl asked him suddenly if it were true that +he had shot much in Africa, and Everest replied: "I used to shoot a +good deal, but I never liked it, except as an exhibition of skill, and +as one gets older one sees more and more into the horror of taking +innocent and beautiful lives for one's own amusement." And Regina loved +him more than ever for this speech. + +Their minds in their kinship were like two eagles, that, flying from +different quarters, had suddenly met and, happy in companionship, after +lonely travel, soared upwards to the blue zenith together. + +The difference in age was hardly perceptible between them. Everest had +been at eighteen just like Regina now, and Regina at forty-six would be +like Everest now, and so they met and talked on equal ground, as a man +soliloquises with himself. + +Everest did not seek to kiss her until they came to the border of the +home copse where they must part. There he drew her into a close, long +embrace and she threw her arms about his neck and kissed him back as +she had not ventured to do till now--their talk had drawn them so near +to each other. Then white and breathless she ran from him through the +mossy copse and so home and upstairs, and Everest later slowly crossed +the lawn to the Rectory and his own rooms, entering by the long French +windows. + +For many days after this, they met in the enchanted garden, and Regina +lived in paradise. + +Everest was supposed to need exercise, and every afternoon took a walk +to the sea unaccompanied. The two elder girls were not good walkers +enough to be able to go with him, and after a hint from their father +forbore to press their own or other society upon him, but, as he spent +the entire morning and evening in their company, left him undisturbed +in the afternoon, to sleep if he felt touches of fever returning on +him, or to walk where the fancy took him. + +Though they did not know it, it always took him to the Chalet and +its garden. Every day the girl in her new-found emotions, in her joy +and pride and innocent happiness, grew more lovely. Her eyes shone +more brightly, her skin grew more exquisitely transparent; but it was +not the same with Everest; the sense of the Future gripped him too +strongly, and sleepless, troubled nights brought back the fever. Daily +his cheek grew paler, and except when talking, or under the influence +of some emotion, his face did not have the same animation, nor his eyes +the same brilliance, as when he came. + +One afternoon when they met in the garden she saw at once that +something was oppressing him. His face was white, and the usually calm +lines of the brows were contracted with pain. + +"My darling, I cannot stay here," he said, after their first long kiss. +"You must not ask me, sweetest one. It is killing me, and it is too +dangerous for you. This garden seems to alter everything.... When I am +here, I forget the world of men outside, in which, after all, vile as +it is, we have to live. I must go, Regina, before it is too late." + +"It is too late," she answered, in a low voice. "Oh, Everest, if you +knew what I shall feel when you go. It is so dreadful, so impossible, +to give you up.... All the rest of my life must be wretched.... I have +only this time, these wonderful days, while you are here, to be happy +in.... Don't shorten them. Stay with me a little longer...!" + +And in the still magic shade of the garden, Everest promised to stay, +because it seemed to him, too, that it was impossible to leave her, and +all the world, the hateful, ridiculous, jarring world, seemed far away, +non-existent, under those fragrant roses, where the nightingales sang +and Nature held full sway. + +But that same night, at home, in his room, the idea came again very +sharply before him that his duty was either to go away or to offer to +marry Regina. + +It was treacherous, cruel, dishonourable to stay any longer, unless he +did that; he had stayed too long as it was, he knew; but that was done +now. He could not help it, all he could do was to go at once, before +things were still worse. Mechanically, he began to put a few things +together that he always packed himself. Then he stopped, and sat down +again. Suppose he just followed his own desires, and did not trouble +about anything else?... Suppose he married Regina, and gave himself up +to golden weeks of wandering with her?... There was no reason why he +should not. He was free to marry if he chose. But the permanence of it, +the insane laws of the thing frightened him, as it had done all his +life. + +He sat silent, looking down at the floor, thinking deeply; everything +grows so much more complicated and difficult to decide as one grows +older. One loses that saving narrowness of view that, in youth, +prevents one from seeing more of a project than the side presented +to one, and so simplifies one's course of conduct. In youth, too, +everything seems so permanent; that clears away another difficulty. +In love matters it makes everything remarkably easy.... We love, and +our passion is certain to last for ever and ever. Then, it is fairly +easy to arrange for it. But as we grow older we see that nothing is +permanent. Everything is moving, shifting, changing, and the whole +difficulty of man arises from the fact that he will shut his eyes to +this universal truth. He makes institutions and laws, which would +only be good and serviceable if our emotions, our passions, ourselves +were lasting and changeless instead of being the victims of constant +metamorphoses, and consequently man's life is a perpetual and fruitless +struggle to adapt these solid, permanent and unelastic inventions to +the restless varying of his life and his being. + +Thus do we bid him build the solid rock house of marriage--where?--upon +the shifting sands of his passions and emotions. + +Can we expect it to be a success? + +Everest knew that he loved Regina now, that he passionately longed for +and desired her; and the feeling seemed so strong, so deeply rooted +that it might well last for the traditional "ever." ... But experience +told him that, of the many, many passions and loves he had felt before, +all had varied, and shifted, and changed, and in due course, from one +ailment or another, languished, sickened and died. + +And on their death he had been free. But in this case he was +considering, when they died, he would be enveloped, shackled in the +chains of marriage! He thought of all his married friends.... There was +not one who did not envy him his freedom, and yet most of them must +have felt at some time that same stress of emotion for their wives as +he felt for Regina now. He sprang to his feet suddenly. + +"No! No! I will not be so foolish as to be led into it! In town, in a +few weeks, I may have forgotten her altogether." + +He recommenced collecting his letters and papers with feverish vigour. +He knew he must go, and he would do so the day after to-morrow. His +resolve was quite genuine, and he looked out the up-trains himself in +Miss Marlow's ready laid hand-book, and packed his writing-case and +small trunks. + +But Nature, who doesn't mind in the least about marriage, but is very +keen on carrying out those matters which really concern her, is not to +be put off by a human being just packing his suit-case. + +The following afternoon, when Everest started from the Rectory for his +walk seawards, as he left the grounds, he met the curate coming up from +the village, and as he greeted him the young man joined him. + +"I'm going to visit a parishioner who lives in a little cottage on the +beach. Are you going that way? If so, we might walk down together." + +Everest assented pleasantly, though on that particular day no man's +company was particularly welcome to him. His whole excitable nature was +now strung up to one painful and horrible duty: the wrenching himself +away from a woman that he loved with certainly the best and highest +passion he had ever felt in his life. His blood seemed all on fire, +and running the wrong way in his veins; his teeth seemed on edge; all +his nerves shaken. But he showed none of this: he looked to the curate +singularly calm, quiet and self-possessed. + +For a few minutes they spoke on indifferent subjects, and then the +young man said suddenly: + +"You are making quite a long stay in Devon?" + +There was a sort of questioning note in his voice, and Everest, not +having spoken to anyone yet of his resolved departure, merely answered: + +"Yes; it is very lovely here." + +There was a silence, in which Everest felt sure the curate was +gathering strength to address him on some subject of special import, +and his mind went immediately to village schools, the poor and +subscriptions, but, to his amaze, when the curate spoke, it was +of--Regina! + +"I expect you have great opportunities of talking with her, have you +not?" + +To which Everest replied frankly, wondering what was coming: + +"Yes, we have talked a great deal." + +"Has she ever," the curate coughed nervously, "told you about me?" he +said at last. + +Everest's surprise grew. + +"Not beyond mentioning your name and your services to her father, I +think," he answered. + +"She never mentioned, I suppose, that I ... I was anxious ... I +proposed to marry her?" + +"No; certainly not. I never heard it," returned Everest promptly and +emphatically. + +A wave of hot emotion, he could not tell exactly of what kind, but +certainly surprise and anger mixed in it, came over him as he heard +another man speak of Regina, and reveal his attitude towards her, speak +of marriage with her! She was his ... his ... his.... How dare the +curate talk of her!... She was wholly Everest's, his own property. She +belonged solely, utterly to him, and then the memory came: he was going +to leave her, _he_ was going away, he was leaving her to herself, to +Stossop, to the people here, to this ... curate! + +In a whirl of anger he heard the next words: + +"She refused me," uttered the young man faintly. "You see," he +continued, "she is so very young, I think perhaps she hardly knows her +own mind, and I, of course, have no chance of being very much with her +or pleading my cause. I thought it was just possible, since you are +with her so much, you could put in a word for me. A girl is so much +influenced sometimes by what an older man says. He has the weight of a +father, and yet more than the influence of a father, because he comes +from the outside. He's a stranger. Regina would listen, I think, to all +you said.... I want her to consider things a little, to consider how +lonely a woman's life is, unmarried...." + +The curate's voice went on, but Everest lost what he was saying in the +angry maze and swirl of his own thoughts. + +So this was what he was driving at! It was not flannel clubs, nor coal +tickets, nor choir classes now; it was not subscriptions this time. He +was being asked to persuade Regina--his Regina--to marry another man, +this man--this limited, narrow-minded, microscopic curate! + +Then he became aware that the man was talking of Regina herself, +telling him how wonderful she was, so unlike the other sisters, so +unlike anyone he had ever known, and drawn on by Everest's quiet, +apparently sympathetic attention he began to dilate on his own love for +her, his ardent desire for her happiness. + +"And do you think a girl like Regina Marlow would be happy as a +clergyman's wife?" interrupted Everest mildly. + +Inwardly he was furious at the tone of proprietorship that +unconsciously crept into the curate's voice. + +"I think she would when she had settled down," he answered. "I know +she is very original, and has all sorts of fancies, now, but that soon +disappears. When once a girl is married, and face to face with her +duties in life, her children, her home, her regular employment steady +and settle her." + +A silent rage consumed Everest as he heard this speech, delivered +in the rather pompous tones that the curate, without meaning to be +offensive, generally slipped into. + +That morning, when he had been thinking of that alternative to his +going--marrying Regina--deep in his heart had been the idea of +children. Never before in his life had he met a woman by whom he +would so gladly have had sons as by her. It was just that steel-like +sharpness of the brain, that clear, unclouded intellect, that swiftness +of motion, that agility of limb, that vital force of energy in body +and mind, that he would like to see in his sons--if he had them. That +soul of a lioness, that frank, brave, upright nature she had revealed +to him, is not a very modern type. It reminded him more of the old +Roman spirit that lived in Regulus and Lucretia, and this thought had +swayed him very near indeed to the idea of marriage. Only again, to his +sensitive, comprehensive brain, the thought of maternity brought the +idea of sacrifice, and it showed how deeply really his love for the +woman had gone, that he shrank from anything which would involve her +in suffering and danger. He felt he could not bear the thought of this +gay, beautiful, radiant creature, risking, and perhaps giving up, her +life, so full of powers for artistic creation, for his sake, through +the gratification of his passion in bearing children to satisfy his +ambitions. + +And this had carried his mind away again from marriage; it made the +matter more complex still. If he married, it was essential for his +property that his wife should have children, but he saw suddenly now, +and for the first time, what an ordeal loomed before him in giving over +a woman, whom he loved as much as he loved Regina, to suffering and to +danger. + +Perhaps the ancient Greeks were influenced by this same feeling when +they married women merely to have and rear their children, while giving +their love and devotion and life companionship to others. + +And now, here, when he, Everest, whom the girl loved, and who had such +great compensations to give in return for all he asked from a woman, +hesitated and contemplated the extreme of sacrifice, that this sacred +life might be left undisturbed, while he was planning to leave her, to +tear himself from her, for her sake, this wretched man at his side was +quietly talking of her duties, the tasks she was to be forced into, +the quiet, humdrum, irksome life she was to be bound to, the risks +of maternity she was to face, to gratify him, that he might enjoy to +the full this lovely flower, which Everest held too sacred to gather +himself! It was no use to leave her! If he did, this man, or some other +like him, would force her into an odious existence, such as was here +sketched out. + +His heart seemed to swell with fury, as he thought of it, dark mists of +rage rose over his brain, darkening his mental vision. + +"I am sure I shall win her in time," the voice went on at his side. +"All that is wanted is persistence, determination.... That young +Markham, who shot himself in London, it was a wrong thing to do, of +course--and so foolish! If he had come back here, and persisted, he +might have won her, just as I firmly believe I shall win her." + +And in answer to a question of Everest's, he was taken through the +history of Regina's refusal to Markham, and the tragedy which followed, +and the other histories of the refusals, and all this talk went to +Everest's brain like corroding fire. It awoke and inflamed all that +selfishness of his love which, with Regina, and for her sake, he had +kept suppressed, and controlled. It rose up now to its full power and +fought with his reason. It filled him with rage. He longed to take the +curate up by his neck, and throw him over the hedge. + +At last the waving trees of the garden came in sight, and he was now +all impatience to get away from him, but he felt bound to accompany him +to the cottage, and see the door shut upon him, before turning to the +garden. + +"A clergyman wants a wife for all this sort of thing," the latter +remarked plaintively, as they neared the dirty little hovel on the +beach; "these people must be visited, especially when they are sick, +and it's a woman's work: it takes too much of a man's time." + +Everest ground his teeth silently. He would not trust himself to speak. +Another moment, and they were at the door. + +A filthy woman, followed by a crowd of still filthier children, opened +it. The sound of coughing and a baby crying came from the dark interior. + +"You won't come in?" said the curate. + +Everest declined, the curate disappeared, and the door was shut. + +Feeling mad, like one who has drunk vitriolised brandy, his nerves +exasperated and his control all gone, Everest turned and walked back +rapidly towards the garden, with the swift, eager step of the thirsting +wolf scenting water. He came to the gate and laid his hand on it. It +was locked. He called her name. There was no answer. Each little thing, +each resistance made his anger mount higher, augmented the state of +turmoil he was in. He drew back a little from the gate, then jumped +over it, feeling he could have leapt over one a hundred times higher, +and began to scour the silent, scented ways of the garden. + +The birds called over his head, the fragrance came in clouds to meet +him, he noticed nothing. + +Suddenly, as his quick feet carried him down one of the darkest rose +alleys, he came upon Regina. She was asleep on a little bank, in the +deep shade, almost invisible under the drooping boughs of a laburnum, +that poured its golden treasure to the ground. + +With a single step he was beside her, he had caught her into his arms. +She awoke to find herself clasped to his breast, her face being covered +with wild, fierce kisses. + +"You are mine. You cannot and shall not belong to anyone else ...!" + +The garden held them--that magic garden that waved and bloomed in +quiet peace, far from the riot of the hard and noisy world. Far more +beautiful than any cathedral's were its green and shaded aisles; more +beautiful than the anthem's roll its exquisite melody of rejoicing +birds; more sweet its perfume than incense, and Nature breathed over +her children there a greater blessing than man can ever give. + + +Three hours later Everest came back to the Rectory; he went straight +up to his room, turned the key in his door, and threw himself face +downwards on his bed. + +He knew he ought to feel regret, to wish his action undone, to feel +fear of future ill, but he could not; still less was any sense of +reaction, of revolt, familiar to him in similar situations, near him +now. + +From head to foot, one great pulse of elation, satisfaction, joy and +triumph beat through him. She was his, and those moments had been +his--moments unequalled before in all his life of varied success with +women. He recalled the scene with wondering ecstasy: the beauty of the +garden, the transfigured face of the girl, the pure, unclouded rapture +of those lustrous eyes, as she yielded to his arms, the radiant glory +of all the air about them, its intoxicating, fragrant stillness. Was +the garden really enchanted, as she called it. What was she, this girl? +Was she a goddess who had descended to his embrace? In the proud joy of +her self-surrender, in the ecstatic passion of her kiss, in the glamour +of poetry and beauty she threw over every action which with other women +was so commonplace, she seemed to be. + +Of their act she had made a thing akin with beauty, with radiance, with +light, and he could only feel glorified, as he saw she did. + +Innocently, grandly, full of a fervent delight in him as she had in +beauty, she had given herself to him, as Venus might have given herself +to Anchises; he could think of no other simile. + +And to the tender love he had felt invade his soul for her in those +after moments which to some are so bitter, he could find no parallel in +all his former existence. + +His one desire was to hold her again in his arms, though he had so +lately left her, to feel the tender bosom strain against his, to gaze +into the wonderful light and fire of those eyes. + +This ecstatic state, this empire of mere nature, which knows nothing of +convention, nor the ways and laws of the world, over him; this delight +of the senses, the afterglow, as it were, of passion, remained with +him all the night, and then with the white light of the dawn came a +horrible sense of dismay. + +What had he done? He had allowed the torrent of his own wishes, +his own desire, to sweep him over the brink of disaster, and he had +dragged this innocent, loving creature with him. Some men, in similar +circumstances, blame the woman; Everest only cursed himself, as he +sprang from his bed to face the coming day. + +This bright, young life, so full of wonderful talent, this beautiful, +fresh flower, only just opened to the sunlight of life, he had +sacrificed to himself, to his passion and pleasure of an hour. It +seemed incredible to him, as he thought of it, that he could have been +so selfish, so weak, so vile. + +What was there in that maddening garden that stole away all sense of +the outside world, and seemed to whisper that man was not the trained +puppet of the wretched, artificial sphere he has created, but the free, +natural, joyous creature Nature intended him to be? + +Man must always remember that _he is_ a puppet, and a slave, and that +the laws of Nature now exist no longer for him. He in his blindness has +made other and contrary laws, which he has to obey. + +Regina? What of her? What of this waking hour for her? She had not +appeared at dinner the previous night. He had not seen her since +leaving her in the garden. Was she suffering as he was? He longed to +see her, to speak to her.... Were those glorious eyes clouded by tears? +Was that sweet, smiling face convulsed in misery? It was like iron +twisting in his heart to think of it. + +He felt as if he had taken a swift, joyous swallow, just rising to the +sun, and broken both its wings, and thrown it to the ground, to die. +He loathed himself. + +He dressed rapidly, made himself some tea with his own lamp, and then +sat down by the window, thinking. The girl was just above him; if he +could only go to her, see her, find out what she was thinking, feeling. + +Other episodes with women had affected him differently. In nearly all +it had been possible to compensate the woman in some way, or else she +was in some invulnerable position of safety, where their deeds would +not react upon her. But Regina? He foresaw every possible kind of +suffering for her in the future, and no reparation could be offered +her--except--marriage.... + +Yes, the thought came whirling into his disordered brain with stunning +force. He had the power to change everything for her. If she were in +tears, he could dry them instantly; if her heart was beating with fear, +he could allay all its terror. He could not undo what he had done, but +he could go farther and, as far as she was concerned, give her complete +protection and happiness. As he thought of her, as she had been last +evening, in the soft shades of the garden, as her image came before +him, radiant, inspiring, irresistible, in those moments of ecstasy, he +thought he would do that. It was not what he had thought of, wished or +desired, when he had come there; but neither was this. To enter his +friend's home welcomed by all, and then to steal the fairest ornament +there, to leave misery and wretchedness where he had found joyous +innocence, unquestioning love and trust.... + +No, he could not do this. A sense of being dishonoured, if he did, came +over him. Never in his life yet had he done a mean or cruel action, and +somehow, looked at in all its lights, this seemed to be both. + +Well, he would do that; he would give up all other views and thoughts +for his future, and he would marry Regina. + +This resolve came rolling into his mind on the flood-tide of his +troubled thoughts, and found a harbour there. + +It was easier for it to do so, because of the very real passion he had +for her. Of all the women he had known, none had given him a greater +joy than she had, and the idea of possessing her, and her love and +youth, and all her passionate impulses, chaining them to himself only, +had its seduction. + +Everest had reached the meridian of his years, and already, through the +green woods of his life, was stealing the cold whisper of the coming +winter of age, but with Regina he forgot it; she seemed to enwrap him +in her eighteen years, to hold the cup of elixir of eternal youth +to his lips. With her warm arms about him, her fresh, joyful heart +beating on his, it seemed the spring of life must always stay with +him. He could not part with her, he would keep her, and know again and +again with her those happy hours that were worth all the world could +give. Full of the new determination, he rose, and going over to the +mantelpiece he closed the open velvet case that contained the perfect +face, the delicate, cameo-like features of his cousin, and laid it away +amongst other cases, books and papers. That idea was over; that matter +was of the past. + +He found his writing materials and wrote a few lines to Regina. + +He did not see her till she came in at the last moment before luncheon, +and took her place at the table. He felt afraid to look much at her, +lest his eyes should in any way betray him to the others, but one +glance at her face told him that she looked pale, and as if she had not +slept much the previous night. + +Time seemed a blank until the hour arrived when he could start for his +afternoon walk, and then he hastened his steps as much as possible, +dreading some interruption, some hindrance to seeing her. He felt he +could not exist longer, unless he could have speech with her. When he +came in sight of the garden he saw the door stood open, and beyond +it, against the deep green within, her white lace dress was visible. +He hurried forward, and in another moment the gate was shut upon them +and their embrace. She had come to meet him. She was not, as he had +tortured himself by imagining, tear-stained, broken and drooping, full +of sadness and reproaches. She was smiling, fresh, radiant, as usual, +with her face full now of rose and pearl, lifted to his, and her soft +arms tightly twined round his neck. + +They walked a few steps farther, into the deepest recesses of the +place, and he told her all he had suffered, and how he hated himself +for his selfishness, and how his only thought now was to efface it all +from her mind by their marriage as soon as possible. + +"I think we will go up to town together, and we will marry there. What +do you say?" + +His face was very pale as he spoke the decisive words--words that +had never passed his lips to any woman before, and that he had +always thought vaguely he would say some day in such different +circumstances--circumstances where they would mean linking himself to +brilliant, worldly prospects, to landed possessions, to high lineage, +to a family old as his own; and now they were being said to this simple +girl, who had none of these, and not even that surprising beauty which +sometimes outweighs them all. + +She had conquered him where other women all his life long had tried and +tried in vain. Why was it? Unless this ground on which they walked were +indeed enchanted. As is the case with so many men, love and marriage +stood widely separated in his mind. Love was a wonderful, passionate +pleasure, which had been his companion all his life. Marriage was a +stupid business arrangement, that he might have to make some time, +because certain practical advantages went with it. + +He had immense property to leave behind him, and as he entertained the +usual family dislike of all his brothers and sisters, he would have +preferred to have a legitimate son to whom it would go, but it had been +urged upon him, ever since he could remember, that to marry was "his +duty," and as he had always found the "duties" discovered for him by +others were extremely disagreeable, he had come naturally to have a +very real distaste for it. No one had suggested to him that marriage +meant, or could or ought to mean, pleasure. + +Pleasure and sin were always jumbled together, and held before his +eyes, through his childhood and youth, in his severe Scottish home, and +marriage was associated with duty, with constraint, with bondage, with +monetary considerations, and nothing else; with everything that he most +hated. + +And the result of this training had been far from what his stern +family would have wished. The Oriental youth, who leads a cleaner +life than English youths, and is a stranger to dissipation, is taught +differently. Marriage to him is not represented as a holy penance, +involving renunciation and sacrifice, but as the only gate to supreme +delight. In all Eastern languages the word for marriage is identical +with the word for pleasure. + +Does it not seem a wiser method? + +So that, considering his upbringing, it was no wonder that Everest's +face paled and his heart sank as he pronounced the dismal word "marry," +which had always seemed to him to mean the end of everything, the +termination of freedom, the finishing of pleasure, the dismissal of +love, only to be compensated for by great worldly gain. And here there +was no gain. His feet had somehow got entangled in the horrid mesh at +last. Yet, as he glanced at the girl beside him, so bright, with her +springing step, her rose-like face and her wide, innocent eyes, he +could not feel that she had spread it for him, as others had done in +vain. No, he had courted disaster, and himself pulled it down upon his +head. + +Regina stopped in her walk, and looked up at him. + +What loveliness in those blue eyes, full of the sky and heaven's own +light. + +"No, Everest, I am not going to marry you." + +The man could never recall exactly what his feelings were as he heard +her. Amaze was certainly the first, then a sort of relief, then +disappointment, and then, so strange is humanity, a nascent desire that +they _should_ marry after all. + +"But, my darling, why not?" + +"Because you don't really wish it; you ask me because you think it +is your duty, after what has happened. But I have given you my love +and myself as free gifts, not at a price that you must pay. I have no +price. No one can buy me, either by marriage or anything else. Most +women have; the women of the town bargain for so many shillings before +they give themselves; the women of our class bargain for marriage and +settlements, for a home, for fixed income, for the chained servitude +to them, for all his life, of the man they say they love; but I feel +differently, Everest." And she turned to him suddenly, stopping under +the branch of the swaying palm; her eyes were alight, her form seemed +to expand and heighten, red shafts of the sunlight sought out her +hair and rested there, crowning her with light. "I have _given_ you +what I have given. There is _nothing_ I want from you. I have given +you myself, and you have given me passion and intense, overwhelming +happiness. I do not want, and I will not accept, anything more." + +Everest looked back at her and could not take his eyes away. As in the +first hour of their passion, she seemed less to him like a woman than +a goddess, an immortal. To talk of worldly things to her, to think of +them in her presence, seemed suddenly absurd. In his own room, while +thinking of her, she had seemed a helpless girl, whom he had injured, +and was bound in honour to protect. Face to face with her now, in the +garden, she seemed an all-powerful divinity, who had bestowed upon him +gifts that had no earthly price. The vivid sky above them enveloped +her with light, turning her white clothing into gold, and her fair +hair into flame, the red glow of it fell across the smooth pallor of +her face and shone in the wide-open eyes, regarding him with proud, +fearless confidence. + +He felt silenced, abashed, confused, with a still more violent passion +waking within him for her, now that she seemed to hold herself aloof +from him full of conscious power, self-reliant, seeking and asking +nothing from him. Like most men, Everest felt a sort of instinctive +intolerance of women who clung to him, pursued him. He was kind to +them, for that was his nature, but his own passion and desire began to +wane the moment its object seemed to be clinging dependently to him. +The wild spring towards liberty, the elastic rebound of the captive +in his arms, were what stirred the fiercest fires within him, nerved +him to the greatest efforts to hold her to him. Now, looking at the +passionate, beautiful form of the woman before him, and understanding +that she neither wished to curtail his freedom nor give up her own, he +really felt he would like to lead her to church, and there bind her to +him fast, by all the laws that man and God could devise. He advanced +towards her with one of those quick, easy movements that always wrapped +her in delight when she saw them, and brought the red deer of Exmoor to +her mind. + +He took her arms above the elbows; through the muslin she was wearing +he could feel their soft firmness, their satin surface. How the touch +thrilled him, and her also! The electric shock of joy in the contact +was so great to them both that neither could speak or move for the +moment, but each stood motionless, gazing into the other's transfigured +face. + +"But, Regina, I wish it! I want you to marry me!" + +"Then you should have asked me before, when you first said you loved +me, and I would have consented, to obtain the joy of giving myself to +you. Now it is too much like paying a price, too much as if you felt +obliged to offer me some reparation, too much as if I had led you into +accepting gifts from me, knowing that you would feel bound in honour to +pay for them afterwards. Marriage was not in your mind when you came +here, not when you saw me, not when you desired me. You wished to go +away and I persuaded you to stay. Yes, but not to obtain anything from +you, Everest, only to give.... To give to you.... And, if you knew what +supreme delight you have given me, what these hours in this garden have +been to me, you would know there is no debt, no need for reparation.... +If I have to pay with my life for them, which is quite possible, I am +ready to pay." + +Everest drew her close up to his breast, and held her there tightly. + +"My sweet, don't say such things. As long as I am in the world, nothing +shall ever hurt you. Say you will come up to town now, and marry me.... +It will make me much happier." + +He looked down on the radiant, light-crowned head pressed against +his breast and thought again of the mortal Anchises when the goddess +stooped to his kiss. + +"Of course I will do anything you wish, if you continue to wish it, a +little later, but not now. You shall not feel that, like Medea, I have +thrown enchantment over you, and made you do what you never planned." + +Everest was silent, lost in a maze of wondering thought. He saw he +had been right in his estimation of Regina. She had not the ordinary +modern mind, which measures everything by the standards of the world +and of convention. She chose to do what she thought was right, and +as it did not seem to her right to accept him she would not do so, +overwhelming as the advantage to herself would be, horrible in its +risks and dangers, its ruin, according to all worldly ideas, as her +position without it now was. She had, as he had thought, just the soul +of Regulus, who gave himself up to the Carthaginian tortures rather +than speak a few words of false advice to Rome. How he admired her, +loved her! He realised the greatness of her feelings towards him. She +had perfect, absolute trust in him, as she had shown from the first. +She was willing to pay the highest price herself for his love, and yet +shield him from paying in the smallest coin. How different, how utterly +different from all the women he had ever known! There was not one among +those who had not fought and scrambled and clutched for self-advantage, +self-gain--not one who, in spite of her love for him, would not have +willingly sacrificed him to herself. + +Regina, like her name, had come to him from Latin times. + +He put his arm round her, and they sat down together, very close, +sheltered by the laburnum, and the doves flew down, and walked, cooing, +on the velvet moss at their feet. They talked of their plans, and +Everest got her to promise this much, that if, when he had been away +from her some time, living his own life, amongst his own people, if he +then asked her again, perhaps she would consent to marry him. + +"You see, my very dearest," she said, in that soft voice of hers, which +always stirred his senses, "if you still wish it we will do it, but, if +you do change, how much better for you not to have married me now!" + +"And better for you too?" he asked. + +"No, no, no! You know, just for myself, there would be nothing in the +world better for me than to marry you," she returned passionately. +"Everest, there is no need for me to tell you that, surely? You +must see how it all appears to me.... You are so wonderful, so +exceptional!... I feel you ought to have the very best and loveliest +woman who ever existed...." + +"Have I not got her here?" returned Everest, with equal passion, +leaning over her, and kissing her on the mouth and eyes, so that she +could neither breathe nor see. "You try to make me the most conceited +man in the world, but I have sense enough left to know I am not half +worthy of you." + +Regina yielded herself up to his caresses, nestling close against his +breast, her lips on the warm brown of his neck, above his collar. + +"Listen," she whispered, "I want you to listen to me. I have just this +one quality that is good: I love you so intensely, so absorbingly, that +myself is nothing to me beside you. It is very difficult to put the +absolute extremes of emotion into words, but I love you so much that +when I think of you my own life, my own happiness means nothing to me, +beside yours. You must be happy, that's all that matters. Nothing +else is of any account at all. If I can in any way make you happy that +would be my greatest delight, as it has been already; but I am not sure +I should be really doing that by marrying you, and until I am sure, I +won't do it. I am after all only a country rector's daughter, without +any special birth, position or beauty.... No--hush," she said, putting +her hand over his mouth, as he tried to interrupt her. "I am only +beautiful just now, because I am young and in love with you--blazing +with love for you in every vein. That fire lights up my eyes and paints +my cheeks and lips, and makes me look beautiful, but that is your +gift," she interrupted herself passionately, kissing him on his black +hair, above the ear, "you have given me that beauty.... It is not the +stone-cut massive regularity that the world calls beauty, and so, when +your friends saw me as your wife they would say: 'Why has he married +her? He must have been trapped in some way--she is only this; she is +only that--she has no this, and no that,' and perhaps, after a time, +you might get to feel so too. And it would kill me, simply, nothing +else, to see you regretted marrying me. You came here as our guest, +and we all, as hosts, have a sacred duty towards you. I want you to go +away as absolutely free and untied as when you came, free to marry, +if you wish, some rich great, wonderful person, your equal, who has +magnificent beauty and everything else to offer you." + +"Do you think that I could do that now, after yesterday? Marry another +woman and put her in the place that belongs to you? I feel now I shall +never care to take another woman in my arms again. You were so sweet to +me, so unquestioning, so trusting, and I acted so badly, I shall never +forgive myself! It is not you that tie me, my own action binds me." + +Regina raised herself with a quick spring in his clasp. + +"Whatever obligation there was, if there were any," she said in a low +tone, "is paid in full now by your offer and my refusal. Yesterday was +a gift to you, a gift, a gift, a gift," she repeated, with hot kisses +on his hand at each word, "just as I would give my life itself to you, +if you wanted it." + +"There must be many days like yesterday, and you can give me something +else, which no other woman can, when we are married, for we will marry +whatever you say." + +"What could I give you?" she asked, with a swift, eager note in her +voice. + +"A son," returned Everest, kissing her questioning lips, "just like +yourself, all courage and fire, and strength, in body and mind. Would +you like that, my sweet?" + +She clasped her arms tightly round his neck. + +"Anything done for you would be my greatest, my supreme delight! Do you +wish for children, Everest?" + +"No, not personally, but there is the property. I must have a +legitimate son or let it all go to my brother. I should hate to have a +weak, mindless, feeble child, which could never happen if Regina were +its mother! So if, when my visit here ends, I go away to Scotland for +some weeks, as I must do to look after my place, when I come back, you +will marry me, will you not?" + +"If you wish it--yes," she murmured. + +"The suffering, the sacrifices, the danger of maternity, that does not +frighten you?" + +"No, I am not afraid of anything, Everest." + +He looked into her eyes, and in their blue depths he saw that +cool, serene courage that he loved, that made his heart throb with +admiration, with some sentiment which it was new for him to feel for a +woman. + +He wanted to tell her this, but he could not at the moment find words +in which to define and express it; so in silence he kissed her again, +where the sun darting through the leaves lighted up the pink down of +her cheek, and, as is the way with lovers, all their talk melted into +caresses, and their arguments became kisses, and every thought and +emotion were soon merged into mere overwhelming delight in each other. + +The golden hours went by, and nothing came to disturb them in their +solitude until the evening light, a most gentle messenger, stole +through the blossoms in a rosy glow, warning them that they must part. + +Everest rose after one last strenuous passionate embrace, and as she +saw him standing above her, his brilliant face flushed and smiling, +his dark eyes kindling with elation, she felt that this life had given +her her due, if it gave no more. When he had gone she lay still for a +little while longer in the shadow. + +"I was right to refuse to marry him. I am sure I was right. If he loves +me he will still wish it. If not, it is I who will suffer, not he, +and he will know--he must know now--that I only care about him, that +I would die for his happiness," she thought vaguely, mistily, for +she was tired and would have liked to stay there, half waking, half +dreaming of him. + +It was with a great effort that she got up a little later and walked +slowly back to the Rectory. + +With dressing for dinner and appearing reasonably conversational at the +meal, Everest had not much time for quiet thought until late that night +when he was going to bed. Then, as his mind reverted to the afternoon, +the stupendous unselfishness of Regina's attitude came before him. If +a girl refused such a marriage with a man to whom she was indifferent, +the refusal would be remarkable for its negation of so much worldly +good; but for one filled with intense and passionate desire for the +man who offered it, such a refusal must need the most heroic courage, +the greatest steadfastness of purpose, the highest fortitude, the acme +of devotion. He sat in his room, absorbed in the contemplation of it, +unable to go to bed, unable to sleep, feeling compelled to study this +new light on a woman's love. + +It was worth while conquering and winning and possessing a woman like +that. All his blood glowed within him as he thought of the greatness +of that character, the largeness and the splendour of that soul that +had yielded to his influence, that had submitted so unquestioningly to +him. He had been accustomed to view women somewhat as soft and pretty +kittens, liable to scratch and bite sometimes in their little tempers, +but, on the whole, caressable and lovable, charming to indulge and to +fondle; but he had often thought vaguely how differently he could feel +for another type, how glad he would be if a wild lioness, full of her +splendid strength and mettle and independence, sprang across his path +and became gentle and tame to him. Caressing a lioness he would like +much better than stroking a kitten. And this now had actually happened! +He knew that in Regina, under her soft and beautiful exterior, lay +just those same wild, brave impulses, that contempt for the dangers of +life, that enthusiasm for great things and emotions that burned within +himself. The realisation that now he had made this soul his own, that, +grand though it was, it now virtually knew no law except his will and +his pleasure, seemed to send waves of fire through his whole being. + +When he at last went to bed that night, it was only to dream of her as +she had stood crowned with ruddy light in the garden. + +The golden days of June slipped by swiftly, silently, vanishing into +the past like radiant dreams, and while the rest of the household, +in the sleepy, creeper-covered Rectory, led their ordinary, bovine +existence of feeding and sleeping, varied by their unbovine petty +quarrelling, these two at least lived a life of which every hour flew +off to Eternity on gilded, flame-coloured wings. When two such deep and +strong natures as Everest's and Regina's come together and mingle, the +education to each, the interchange and interplay of emotion and feeling +are very great. And as each lovely day of sunshine, or gentle silver +rain, or turbulent grey cloud wrought imperceptible changes in the +nature round them, added different notes to the nightingales' songs, +unclosed new roses and ripened fresh blossom on the lime and chestnuts, +ardently leading onward and upward to the glorious perfection of +midsummer, so did each day work mysteriously and enchantingly on +the passion and intimacy of these two, unfolding fresh impulses, new +thoughts, striking hidden chords, unveiling deep recesses. + +This period for them was different in its gentle and subtle teaching, +in its gradual drawing away of the sacred veil that floats before +the face of passion, from the conventional honeymoon with its abrupt +and violent candour, its sudden wrenching down of all the delicate +curtains of mystery, of idealism, of poetical fancy which fall round +the shrine of love. In a honeymoon the two lovers are flung suddenly +into incessant contact, absolute isolation with each other, from which +they cannot escape, as one might push a couple of prisoners into a +cell. Every obstacle, every bar between them that has till now raised +their passion to divine heights is removed. Every duty, every work from +which either has been accustomed to receive moral stimulus and support, +is laid aside, every diversion, every amusement and occupation taken +away. Night and day, without change, without rest, they are thrust into +each other's arms. Is it surprising that when the moon is past so few +have anything but utter satiety to show for it?--that the wonderful +flame of love that lives on excitement, danger, privation, romance, +difficulties, should for ever be quenched and put out?--leaving the +travellers to wander on down the narrow lane of marriage without its +sparkling, radiant light to guide them in its dark places. + +Everest and Regina could never meet except by the overcoming of +difficulties, by planning, by suffering, between periods of eager +waiting, and when they met the parting was never far off, the +possibility of discovery, of interruption always present. So the +wild pleasure of their first embrace lived in all the others, and +their passion for each other increased, as a fire blazes all the more +fiercely for a little water thrown on to it and other futile attempts +to extinguish it. For the girl, life had suddenly turned into the mazes +of a glorious dream. Her ordinary existence of hard work, of study, +stood still. She mixed with the rest of the family and did such tasks +and duties as were required of her, exactly as a well-regulated machine +would have done, her real life for herself began and ended only in the +garden. She was glad that she had always spent so much time there, in +solitude and away from the others: it made her absences from home now +less noticeable. + +She would start for the garden the moment after luncheon, and walk with +the books, that were never opened, clasped to her as usual, through +the hot, silent noonday slowly towards the sea. She loved to reach +the garden and be there before Everest, so that she might have time +to think and dream there, of him alone. At this scorching hour there +was such a deep silence in the thick green shades. The birds were +quiet, taking their noontime rest after their ceaseless labours since +the first grey light of dawn; the doves even sat puffed and voiceless +in and about their cotes; her own light step on the sandy paths was +the only sound. How lovely it was to go on, past the lilac bushes, +of which the blossom was now over, but the leaves were still fair in +their smooth, neat green, between the round and bunchy may-trees, +most of them still laden with their pink and white snow and under the +hanging veils of gold of the laburnum, until she reached the green +turf beneath the palm, where the roses, so luxuriant in their June +growth, no longer stood, as in the winter, like girls waiting for their +partners, but joined hands with each other and danced merrily, nodding +a thousand blooms as the light breath of summer passed over them. +Here she would sit quietly, feeling her heart beating tumultuously at +the thought that he was coming to find her there, that she would see +the foliage part and the roses give way as the slim, beautiful figure +came towards her, the green shade and gold light alternately falling +on him. She was never quite sure that he would come. There was always +that breathless uncertainty about it that is so painful and yet so +delicious. Anything might occur at home that would make it impossible +for him to insist on going out alone, and very often it did happen +that he was kept and delayed at the last moment, and Regina waited and +waited, trembling under the roses, her cheek flushing and paling, her +bosom broken up by her heart-beats, until the intensity of longing and +hoping and fearing became such that when he did appear she would fall +into his arms in a passion of weeping from relief and delight. + +But the moments before he came and before she began to fear that he +would not come, while the hour was still early, and she sat there +awaiting him in her pretty fresh dress, knowing that she was lovely +as the flowers themselves in the tender light beneath the trees, were +very dear to her. She lost herself in golden, glowing dreams of the +future: she would be with him; they would wander together in those +wonderful places where he loved to go; she would be beside him, and +perhaps danger would come upon him and she would be able to protect +him, save him; perhaps she would have the supreme privilege of dying +for him. She would give up her life, oh, how gladly, in shielding him +from pain or hurt; but what spoiled the happiness of this dream was the +knowledge that Everest must suffer by her death, and yet that idea was +delicious too, and she saw into his nature so well, she knew that he +too would think nothing of his life if called upon to give it for her. +Fortunately, dreams are not exacting, they do not make demands upon our +logic. They lull us, soothe us and shut us in with rosy mists and lead +us gently along soft, golden ways. + +Sometimes all night she could not sleep for the joy of thinking of the +morrow, and all the morning she could not read, nor paint, nor play for +thinking of the afternoon and looking forward to the moment when she +might take her way through the sleepy Rectory garden to the highroad +and the sea. + +Love is always wonderful, and to a woman always beautiful and +entrancing, no matter what the guise in which it comes, or what the +time or circumstances. If it comes to her late, when her face has lines +in it which cause her agony lest her lover should perceive them, if her +lover himself is a very imperfect specimen of humanity, that even her +blinded eyes are offended by, even then love still gives her pleasure; +but in Regina's case all of her love's setting and circumstance +was as lovely as love itself and her joy was unclouded, exquisite, +complete. Radiant in her eighteen years, she had no burden of deceit +or cares or fears; she could lift her face to Everest and know there +was nothing there, nor in her heart, that she dreaded him to find, +and in his countenance bending over her there was that beauty, that +perfection that gives rapture to the eyes as a melody does to the ears. +Often returning from the garden, through the sweet-scented meadows in +the long, light evenings, those calm evenings of the English summer +which seem to carry madness to the blood of youth, after a long and +happy afternoon spent with him, it seemed to her as if her head was +light with joy, as if her brain or heart must burst with the excited +happiness of loving and being loved by such a man as this. + +In the soft violet dark that gathers under the limes, she would stand +still, drinking in the fragrance of all the grasses rising from the +cooling earth and listening to the triumphant laugh of the cuckoo +when he found at last his mate in the thorn thicket beside her, and +the call of the nightingale and all the hundred lesser voices of the +wood, each summoning its mate, and would realise slowly in awed wonder +that she too now was sharing in the great universal joy of the world. +Sometimes also when she was with the others, and should have kept her +mind free from all private thought, irresistibly the memory of some +hour in the sheltered garden would come over her with such force that +it absolutely shut her brain and senses to surrounding things. Once +at the luncheon-table her father addressed her as she sat towards the +other end and her ears were so sealed that she did not hear his voice, +her eyes so fixed on the vision they saw that the figures round her, +the wonder growing on all their faces as she sat immovable, like one +suddenly deaf and blind, did not exist for her. It was only the sense +of touch that remained true to its post, guarding the body, whence for +the moment the mind, on Memory's wings, had fled. When her sister +Violet tugged at her arm to rouse her she started, and came back to +herself to find the whole table gazing upon her with various degrees +of amusement and surprise. She flushed scarlet, to herself the blood +seemed to get into her very eyes and burn. + +"Father has spoken to you three times," remarked Violet, "you seem +quite deaf." Regina apologised, beneath her drooping lashes over her +burning cheeks her eyes took a glance at Everest opposite her. He was +smiling too. He could well guess where her thoughts had been. + +After that she tried hard never to think of all this wonderful inner +life she was living, except when alone, but Love was sometimes +insistent and far stronger than she, and she could not always shut the +door of her thoughts upon him. So one day when she was obliged to go +to the village on a mission for her mother, instead of to the garden, +she lost her purse, and the eighteen shillings in it, and could never +remember where it slipped from her hand, though she had never lost or +forgotten it in her life before. + +And to Everest, also, this time was very full of emotion, charged with +an intensity of feeling that was new to him, although he kept his wits +about him at luncheon and did not lose his purse. There were times for +him, too, when he could think of nothing but Regina, when the image of +the girl came before him with an insistence that would not be denied, +and swept whatever he was doing aside and claimed him for its own. +He longed to have her with him and for himself; he hated the long +separations that now intervened often between their meetings, though +they were in reality very good for him and helped to make the supreme +delight of those moments in the garden. + +The day of his departure came at length and his face grew pale and +his heart beat painfully when he awoke at dawn and realised he had to +leave her. It was arranged that the Rector and the two elder girls +should drive him over to Stossop station in the landau, Regina being +left out, as usual, of any general programme. She did not mind--their +real good-byes had been exchanged yesterday under the whispering trees +of the garden. An exceptionally lovely day, it was like the centre +jewel on Summer's forehead in her diadem of wondrous days and nights. +Warm and golden, without wind or cloud, it seemed to bless the lovers +as they met in the deep hush of the sheltered spot and walked slowly, +side by side, down the little narrow winding paths covered in by aloe +and tamarisk and climbing giant rose towards the balustrade above the +sea. How vital and life-giving was its warm salt breath as it met their +faces, stealing up through the thickets, talking to them of its cool, +seaweed-filled caves, of its still green pools teeming with infinite +life; and at last they came in sight of it, calm and deeply purple, +swaying and heaving gently as a maiden's bosom, under a rosy golden +haze, softly, very softly, traced in delicate lilac against the evening +sky lay the outlines of the hills across the bay; colour and light were +jewel-like in their transparency. They approached the porphyry railing; +but Regina could not look at the soft loveliness of the scene, she +could only gaze up at him, so soon to be taken from her. Oh, the ache +of that parting now it had come so near. She could have gone with him, +claimed him openly, spared herself all pain. He had wished it, offered +it. With a single word now she could be free from suffering, she could +keep by his side. For a moment it seemed to her she must speak that +word; but no, she held to her strength with both hands. Better to let +him go free, better to prove to him the quality, the selflessness of +her love, better to leave her fate in his hands. So she was silent, +and only continued to gaze and gaze on the outline of his head, dark +against the glowing sky. They leant there silent, each thinking of the +first day when they had stood there, before their pact was made for +meeting in solitude, before the influence of the garden had made them +each other's and its own. But there was no bitterness, no regret in the +thought of either. Their union had been full of magic beauty, of divine +rapture, as if it had been in the Elysian fields, and they would not +either of them have wished it in any way different. + +When he drew her gently from the balustrade, and they turned inward +again to the dark, close-roofed-in, leafy recesses of the garden, they +were talking earnestly with beating hearts of the life that might +spring from those dear glad hours there, and in a tiny glade, where +the turf was like velvet and the great tamarisk-trees twisting and +intertwining their thick branches overhead made a perfect roof, and the +may-trees stood so thickly round that the nightingales were already +singing there in the soft green dusk, he pressed her close to him and +said one sentence that burnt into her brain and remained there as if +stamped in with fire. + +"If you know it when I am away from you, do not feel frightened or +oppressed, dear one. I should hate you to feel that; write to me at +once, that I may arrange for you to come to me, and for our marriage, +and remember, it is my dearest wish." + +Regina listened, pale, her bosom fluttering with emotion, a little +overawed, but the next moment she was clinging to him passionately, +trying to tell him how deep, how infinite her love for him was, and +nothing could frighten her: she would only be intensely, wildly glad +when she knew. The hour passed golden-edged, full of tumultuous +happiness, and when at last Everest left her and walked away down the +silent green road, full now of ruby light, he realized that, crowded as +his life had been with experience, adventure, emotion, yet here in this +garden behind him the greatest thing of all had happened to him: he had +seen Divinity itself. Eros with his rainbow wings had descended to him +there. To-day he was going. A subdued sadness was visible in the whole +party. Only Violet, the middle sister, seemed indifferent. The Rector +was kind and genial as usual, but Mrs. Marlow and Jane were notably +pale and silent. + +Regina stood at the Rectory door beside her mother to see the carriage +start. His luggage had been sent to the station previously. Jane and +Violet, in their delicate dresses, their large and shady hats, got in, +and Regina thought how lovely they looked--like flowers themselves in +the bright sunshine. Then he came out of the house and shook hands with +her mother, and said how much he had enjoyed his visit. He was in the +travelling suit she had first seen him in. He was holding his hat, and +the sun poured down on his thick, dark hair and the clear pale bronze +of the perfectly modelled face. He was quite calm and natural in his +bearing, and Regina knew it was due to them both that she should appear +so too; as he turned to her and held out his hand she felt all the +blood surge violently to her heart; she was as pale as white stone, +otherwise not a tremor passed over her face as she gave a little smile +and said good-bye, laying her hand in his. His firm warm fingers closed +over it instantly, and the quick, close, iron pressure of it told her +many things, and seemed to give her nerve-force and courage. He was in +the carriage. Then the Rector entered, and in a few moments more the +white dust of the road was rising in a cloud as the carriage rolled out +on it from the Rectory garden. + +Mrs. Marlow and Regina turned slowly back into the house. It seemed +very still and quiet, the very air seemed to hang more heavily and with +less movement now the essentially vital personality of Everest had +gone. The doors of his rooms stood open as they passed by--the scent of +the roses that he had always had on his table came out to them. + +They passed on to Mrs. Marlow's sitting-room, which lay at the back of +the Rectory, with a bow window looking out on to the garden. + +"Are you going out, mother?" asked Regina, "or shall we have tea +together?" + +"No; I have no engagements this afternoon. Come in, and we'll have tea +here. It will be late before the others get back." + +Tea was brought in, and Regina, seated in the deep bay of the window, +watched her mother pour it out. + +"I am very sorry Mr. Lanark did not take a fancy to either of the +girls," she remarked; "it would have been a splendid match for them." + +"Perhaps he would if they had been more clever," hazarded Regina, in a +low tone. + +"Beauty is always supposed to be the great thing in a woman." + +"Yes, the beauty attracts, but it does not rivet the chain it throws +round the beholder. It is something else, mind or talent, that does +that. In all the histories of the _grandes passions_ of the world +the woman has had a certain amount of beauty, of course, but she has +_always_ been clever too." + +Mrs. Marlow looked up, surprised. Regina stirred her tea absently, +gazing out into the sunlit garden. + +"Well, he ought to have proposed to marry you, then," Mrs. Marlow said +smilingly, without for an instant dreaming that was just what Everest +had done. "You are clever enough and very pretty too." + +Regina flushed rose-red and laughed. But when tea was over and she +slipped away, her face was very sad again. She passed Everest's rooms +on her way to her own and went in there. They stood in perfect order, +just as they had been while he was in them. She took all the roses +from the vases, the flowers she knew he had gathered and looked after +himself, and took them away with her and went up slowly to her room. +There she stood at the window looking out. It was the last day of +June. He had been with them not quite a month. Three weeks she had had +of absolute, unclouded happiness. There are a few human beings who +can claim that much out of the whole of their life. Now, whatever the +result, whatever the price she had to pay, she would never regret, +never wish one moment of that perfect time obliterated. + +Day after day passed slowly by, and to the girl, after that tremendous +expenditure of energy, that intense excitement, it seemed as if her +life literally stood still. In the soft, sombre quiet of the monotonous +Rectory days she seemed to herself to have been wrapped up in cotton +wool and buried. Was it possible that people like her sleepy sister +Violet, and all the other twenty-eight unmarried ladies of Stossop, +could go on existing like this, twenty--thirty--forty years, their +whole life? Like flashes of hot light shot from a distant furnace came +Everest's letters to her; they seemed to illumine the twilight of +her quiet tomb. She went to the garden whenever it was fine, and sat +there and dreamed of him beneath the waving trees, or hung over the +balustrade looking down on to the sea, listening to its vital whispers +and picturing his image in its deep purple mirrors. Her brain felt too +tired to read or to learn, she neither played nor painted any more. + +For the time he became her life. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +OUT OF THE STAGNANT HARBOUR + + +Three weeks after Everest had left, Regina, coming first, as usual, +into the breakfast-room, saw by her plate, on the table, a letter and a +small square registered packet, both directed in his handwriting. Her +heart beat rapidly; a tender mist of tears rose in her eyes. A present +from him! A gift from the man she loves, what a wonderful thing that is +to a woman! Gifts from all the world, from kings and emperors, might +move her not at all, but one little thing that _he_ has chosen, has +selected, sought out and bought for her, how infinitely dear it is! + +Regina went up to the table, and taking the letter hastily concealed +it in the bosom of her dress. Not here, but in the sacred garden, she +would read it.... Here, it might be snatched from her and destroyed +before she could do so. The packet she turned over and commenced to +open. At last, from out of its silver paper and casing, the jewel lay +revealed, and she stood, gazing a little awestruck at its flashing +beauty. + +It was a diamond star, to be worn as a brooch, and, every spike +radiating from the centre diamond of great size and brilliancy, was +composed of selected stones. Worked in across the star, in sapphires, +were the words "Regina Imperatrix," and the blue and white lights from +sapphire and diamond shone dazzlingly from their satin bed. + +While she stood gazing at it, thinking of the care and thought he must +have bestowed on it, and the colour racing across her cheeks as she +felt the meaning of the word "Imperatrix" come home to her, the Rector +and the rest of the family entered the room. + +"Why, Regina, what's that?" the Rector asked cheerily. On the loose +paper of the wrapper he recognised Everest's handwriting, and was not +at all ill-pleased to see what he had sent to his daughter. + +Personally, as a business matter--and everything was a business matter +to the Rector--he did not care a bit which daughter it was that Everest +fancied. He could only marry one, and any one would be just as good for +the rest of the family. The Rector was an extremely acute individual +where worldly matters were concerned, and, while the others had been +really blind to what was passing so close to them, he had had a pretty +good idea of the meaning of Everest's love of afternoon exercise and +where his walks to the sea had taken him. In the back of his mind was +the fear that it all might lead to some irregular connection, but while +his code of morality for his girls was absolutely rigid where poor men +might be concerned, Everest's great wealth made it suddenly grow very +elastic. Regular connections sometimes grew out of irregular ones, and +no connection with a rich man could be wholly bad. Hence his amiable +glance on his youngest daughter as she held out to him her starry jewel. + +Jane Marlow pressed up close to him. Her face was ashy-white and +seemed suddenly to line with age, so closely are age and evil allied. + +"How disgraceful! Presents like that from a man! You'll make her return +it, won't you, father?" + +She trembled in her virtuous indignation. She could have torn the star +from his hand and trampled on it. + +The Rector turned to her blandly: + +"Jane, don't be ridiculous. You would have been very pleased if Everest +had sent it to you. And if there would be no harm in your accepting it, +neither is there in Regina's case. She is quite entitled to have it and +enjoy it." + +Jane turned away, the muscles of her face quivering, shaken with the +blackest envy and hatred from head to foot. She had so planned and +hoped to win this man for herself. In all her low-nerved, weakly, +doll-like body there was not a single pulse or fibre, which could +tremble to the music of love. But, like her father, she was dominated +by intensely worldly instincts, and to be married to a man of wealth +and position, no matter what the individual, was her dream and her +constant obsession by night and day, the only thing that filled her +little atrophied soul. + +Everest's looks she had hardly seen, of his personality she never +thought, but night by night she dreamed of herself, sitting in motor or +carriage, driving to some great house, where, resplendent in jewels, +she would pass amongst the crowd admiring her beauty. + +And she had so tried to please him.... She had taken him to her poor, +and let him see how charitable and devoted, and domestic she was. She +had taken him to church, and knelt so devoutly, and yet so prettily, +and in such becoming dresses, before him, at the communion-table; she +had never let any frivolous or unseemly word pass her lips to him; she +had never, while he was there, quarrelled with her sisters or abused +her mother. She had been the perfect, pure, sedate Rector's daughter, +and he had seemed lately to appreciate it.... Regina?... What had she +done?... She had been just as she always was. She had taken no trouble, +but it seemed now it was she who would have the motor and the jewels, +and live in town, while Jane would be left to grow mouldy in the horrid +old Rectory! It was too much!... She could not control herself!... She +burst into a flood of angry tears, and rushed out of the room as the +Rector was beginning to say grace. + +When grace was over, Regina fastened the star at her neck, and her +sister Violet sat staring at it, in a dull solid way, through the meal. +In her heavy, apathetic mind she had recognised early that Everest was +not for her, and in some dim, instinctive way she was not dissatisfied +that it was so. He alarmed her. To her, with her fishlike circulation, +and her unused brain, the sense of virile strength and power about him, +which so delighted Regina, brought oppression. His experiences, his +brilliant intellect, his knowledge, put him outside the circle of her +stupid little thoughts. + +She could not understand one-tenth of his conversation with Regina, +nor follow what he said, and his presence, his glance only, vaguely +frightened and confused her. Great things are for great people, and +little things for little people, and Violet, during Everest's visit, +had begun to realise dimly that, if a fine marriage meant belonging +to an incomprehensible and terrifying individual like this, the idle +novel-reading, the church-going, the humdrum little potter of home +life, were more suited to her mental and physical equipment. So she +stared at the brooch without any deep resentment, only the general +sisterly dislike that Regina should have any present at all. + +After breakfast Regina slipped away, and in the heat of the morning +sun walked to the garden, as fast as her swift-moving feet would carry +her, and once beyond its magic gate took out the dear letter, and with +beating heart unfolded it. + + + "MY DARLING,--I miss you so much, and want to have you in + my arms again. I send you a little brooch I have had made for you, + my Empress. I went about our flat, yesterday, as soon as I got + back from Scotland. I have a good one in view, and will let you + know as soon as it is ready for you. Only these few lines now, as + I have so much to do. + + "Till we meet again, my sweet. + + "EVEREST." + + +When she had read it more than a hundred times, lingering over each +word, she kissed it and slipped it back in her bodice. + +Everest had referred to the flat before. In all his letters there had +been the same eager, impatient note: he wanted her, and whether she +chose to marry him or not she was to join him in London. He would take +a flat, and as soon as it was ready he hoped she would come, as he +could not go on living without her. He left everything in her hands. +If she would like him to come down, with a special licence in his +pocket-book, and marry her from the Rectory, he would do that, if not, +she must come to him. He would prefer to write to her father about +their engagement.... Might he do that? Whatever she decided, she was +to remember he could not exist without her.... Several letters of this +sort had reached her from Scotland, and had carried to her heart the +extreme of happiness. She had not answered very definitely. She did not +wish to curtail his time in Scotland by fixing dates herself. When he +was back in town some wish of his would develop itself, and she would +follow that. + +The same afternoon she spent in her room. She locked herself in and +then got out all her paintings, and went slowly over them in review. + +She knew they were very good. Everest, the only person who had seen +them, had said so, but that would have made no difference to her. She +would not have believed it unless her own intuitive knowledge had +told her so. Sometimes she had done bad work, but she had known it +instantly, and destroyed it, as relentlessly as the all-wise animals +destroy their ill-made or imperfect offspring. All that had survived +was fit to live, and she sat in the centre of her pictures, looking +from one to the other in a glow of delight. + +Genius comes into the world not to learn, but to teach, and that is +what the commonplace mind cannot grasp. + +It will insist that everything must be taught, forgetting that at some +time there could not have been any teacher. The question: Which came +first, the hen or the egg? might well be asked of those people.... +Which came first: the teacher or the taught? + +As a matter of fact, genius knows no teacher but the divine force +within that guides, directs, accomplishes all. + +And Regina, leaning rocking on her bedroom chair, in the middle of the +sheets of white paper that she had converted into living, joy-giving +things, her slender hands clasped round her knees, knew that, whatever +happened, she need never starve, never be dependent on anyone, never +ask anything from anyone, as long as her fingers kept their cunning and +her eyes their sight. As she sat there, the thought suddenly darted +into her mind that it was Saturday, and unless she wrote to Everest +before the London post left he could not have her acknowledgment of the +brooch until Monday. + +She sprang up, found her writing materials, and wrote. + +It was only a few paces down the road to a letter-box, and, knowing it +could not take her more than a second or two to reach it, she did not +stay to lock up her work, as usual. + +She ran down the stairs without her hat, and across the garden, to the +highroad. The letter-box had been cleared when she reached it, but she +knew she could overtake the old postman and get to the post office +before he arrived, or give him the letter on the road. She went on with +flying feet, but she had to traverse the whole distance to the village +post before she came up with him. She saw him put the precious missive +in his bag, then she turned homeward, eager to get back to her pictures. + +When she came back she went up to her own room. On opening the door she +look round, surprised. Her pictures, that she had left scattered about, +on chair and easel, were not visible anywhere. + +Her first thought was that the maid, in clearing up the room, had laid +them all together, and put them away somewhere. She opened one drawer, +and then another, but without finding them. + +Then, with a suddenly anxiously beating heart, she looked round the +room again. A side-table caught her eye, and on it--what was that +strange mass of ragged-edged paper piled there? She crossed to it. Her +pictures were there, or the torn fragments of them, destroyed beyond +hope of recovery, and on the top of the broken heap lay her Bible. + +Bewildered, distracted, hardly realising what had happened, Regina laid +the book aside and took up first one mutilated sheet, and then another, +scanning them with staring eyes. Each one had been torn across and then +across again many times, and roughly, so that the edges were violently +jagged.... Nothing of beauty remained, except the wonderful colours; +the scraps of softly brilliant tints even in their hopeless destruction +had a confused loveliness. + +Regina's fingers trembled more and more as she turned them over. All +the blood had left her face; it was ashy, convulsed. Who could have +done it? It seemed the act of a child or a maniac. Months of patient, +untiring work, buoyed up by hopes and anticipation of success and the +joy of creation, had been undone in a few moments. When it came home +to her that not one of these precious children that she had so loved +and rejoiced in, that had been her constant companions and comforters +through days and weeks, remained to her, a slow sort of agony took +possession of her, that was so intense it seemed it must kill her. +Gasping, she sat down on a chair, holding the rim of the table and +staring at its contents. + +Jane and Violet Marlow were sitting together that afternoon in a small +boudoir they shared between them, when suddenly the door was opened, +Regina appeared on the threshold, deadly white, and with black and +kindling eyes. + +"Have you, either of you, been to my room and destroyed my pictures?" +she asked. Her tones were like the scrape of steel against iron. Both +the girls looked up, one from the novel she was reading, the other +from the band of silk she was embroidering. Regina knew in that first +second, in that first upward glance of surprise and dismay, that they +were not the guilty ones. + +"Oh, Regina!" was all they could either find to say, but the accent in +it of genuine horror was enough for her quick ears. Both girls knew how +Regina loved and valued her paintings, and some dim conception of her +suffering came home to them as they looked at her distorted face. + +"Someone has," she returned. "Where's mother?" + +"In the linen-room," Violet answered, and Regina turned away, closing +the door behind her. Her feet hardly touched the ground as she went +down to the linen-room. She opened the door and found Mrs. Marlow +sitting before the huge linen cupboard, her lap full of damask +tablecloths she was sorting. + +"Mother, someone has destroyed all my pictures.... Is it you?" + +Mrs. Marlow looked up in surprise. + +Regina stood in the doorway, rigid, white as a statue, her face haggard +and drawn. In that moment it resembled so much another countenance that +Mrs. Marlow had seen bend over her in a last farewell that the woman +stared back at her daughter almost as pallid. Usually, when Regina +recalled to her those dear past hours of delight Mrs. Marlow resented +it and felt angered by this living witness to dead things, but to-day +had been the anniversary, not of Regina's birth, but of her conception, +and all day Mrs. Marlow had been struggling in the clinging arms of +memories that would not be denied. She had fled to the linen cupboard, +and counted the damask cloths again and again, aloud, in vain, to stop +them, and now, when like an apparition the very face of her lover came +before her vision, the woman's struggling soul fainted and called to it. + +She almost stretched out her arms to her, letting the linen fall +heavily to the floor in her sudden movement. She would have liked +Regina to lay her head down on her breast and sob out her anguish +there, as _he_ once had done. + +But Regina, never having been accustomed to affection or caresses in +her home, naturally did not understand the gesture: she only repeated +her question, standing by the door: + +"Dear child, no," returned Mrs. Marlow. "Destroy your paintings! I +should not think of such a thing.... No one would. Surely it must be +some accident. I am so sorry!" + +"I don't think it is an accident," Regina answered, retreating. "Thank +you, mother, very much." + +She withdrew and went on down the flight of stairs. Her whole body +was quivering in physical agony, transmitted from the mind; her brain +seemed bursting. As she reached the hall she saw the footman come +out of her father's study and close the door gently. He saw Regina +approaching it, hesitated, and then said respectfully: + +"Master said he wished not to be disturbed, that he was going to write +his sermon." + +Regina pursued her way, and laid her hand on the door. + +"Thank you, Williams, but I am afraid I must disturb him for a few +moments." + +Williams went on his way, wondering what was the matter with his young +mistress. + +"She looked like a person as has been taking some of them deadly +poisons," he remarked at the servants' tea, and Williams was very near +the truth, for the action of all fierce anger is to distil a corroding +poison within ourselves, which infects the whole current of the blood. + +When the girl entered the study the Rector was sitting at his desk, by +the far window, sheets of manuscript paper lying before him. He looked +up, as the door opened, and when he saw who it was that had entered his +eyebrows contracted, and he made an authoritative gesture for her to +withdraw. + +But Regina advanced steadily, with the grim, remorseless step of the +hunting beast of prey. When she was close to the desk she stopped. Her +eyes glittered in the deadly white of her face. + +"Was it you who tore up my paintings?" + +Unconsciously, the Rector looked round for help or assistance. Some +primitive, physical instinct warned him he was near death at that +moment, though such a thought never came near his mind. His eyes came +back from their search round the empty room and from the far-off bell. +He fidgeted with his pen, and then said nervously: + +"You see, Regina, I have to think of your moral good ... I ... er, +can't let things go on in my house of which I ... ah ... of which my +conscience does not approve." + +"Then that means you did destroy them?" + +She was very near the desk now, the waning light of the afternoon fell +upon her face. The Rector thought he had never seen such a terrible +look of rage on any countenance before. It was truly shocking.... These +human passions were really dreadful, when you came face to face with +them. + +"I considered it my duty," he returned. "I laid your Bible on them to +show you what actuated me." + +Then he had done it! This was the man who had torn to pieces that +fabric of beauty she had built up with such tender, adoring care, into +which she had woven so many hopes. + +A gust of fury enveloped her, so that she shook from head to foot. +The lust to kill, to murder him, rushed upon her like a great beast +and gripped her, shook her in its teeth, till all grew black and red +before her. She gripped the mahogany chair back, by which she stood, +till the knuckles started out on the back of her hands, white and +shining. + +But the instinct of her strong mentality was to elucidate the mystery, +to search out the clue to this bewildering act, that she could not in +the least understand. + +"Why did you do it?" she asked. + +The Rector unconsciously bent under the penetrating will of the query. + +"Because they were improper--most improper pictures to have in a +clergyman's house." + +"Improper?" Regina stared at him in a blank amaze that for the moment +eclipsed the welling tide of passion. Had her father suddenly become +mad? Was that the solution of the mystery? She had yet to realise that +there is no madness so blinding, so deadly, so destructive, as the +craze of the impure mind against all artistic creations. + +"They were landscapes, sunsets ... the most beautiful things I could +find ... the skies, the effects of light.... What do you mean?" +she continued, and again the Rector felt compelled to stand her +cross-examination and reply. + +That same primitive impulse of self-preservation that had stirred +within him at his daughter's approach warned him now, without his +thinking about it, that his sole safety lay in the defence and +explanation, such as it was, that he had to make. + +"Yes, of course, they were landscapes.... But there is a way of +treating even a landscape, so that it becomes objectionable. I have +never seen such things before, myself. Those staring, red skies, +those flushed appearances, those twisted black trees, those dark, +slimy pools.... I really cannot tell you the unpleasant things they +suggest.... + +"Those stormy heaths and wind-tossed foliage seem to me to typify +the riot of the passions, and those mossy banks in the sun suggest +sensuality.... Improper? Yes; highly improper I consider them!" + +Regina stood listening wide-eyed, in sheer, paralysed amazement. +That a person's mind could be so deformed and twisted that by its +own blackness it could defile the innocent beauty and sweetness of a +landscape was a fact so new to her, and so astounding, that she felt +stunned by it. + +That the man before her was speaking honestly she saw. + +"But these things are just portraits of what we see about us," she +went on, after a silence, her clear, logical mind battling with the +psychological problem before her. "If the landscapes were improper, +then so must the things be. What do you do when you go out and see a +sunset sky?" + +"If it suggests to me unsatisfactory thoughts, I don't look at it." + +"But how _can_ it?" queried the girl passionately. "When I see the +sunset sky I feel I am being borne away on invisible wings to paradise; +and these mossy banks, with the gold light lying on them, they are +exquisite, and they are all around here.... You can't go out without +seeing them." + +"Don't continue talking like that, Regina. I have told you, when I go +for my walks, if I see anything likely to disturb my moral sense I turn +my eyes away; and because there are many dangerous and attractive +things in nature about us, that is no reason why we should portray them +and bring them into the home for constant contemplation." + +Regina's haggard eyes looked blankly back at him. He was talking to +her in an unknown language she could not understand; telling her +incredible things she could not believe, for her own mind was bright +and clear, crystal-like as a mirror, reflecting everything it faced +with added beauty; diamond-like in its sharp, unstainable purity. And +the obfuscated, turbid, sensual mass of incoherent ideas and thoughts +that represented this man's mind appalled her, as she looked into it. + +"If you destroyed the landscapes only because you thought them immoral, +why did you tear up the interior of Exeter Cathedral? There could be no +harm in that...." + +"That was the worst of all," answered the Rector stormily, moving +his papers angrily before him; "the very worst! Of course it was the +cathedral, and a very beautiful picture it might have made, treated +properly, in the daylight, and full of worshippers; but there again, +you had got it nearly in darkness--the evening effect you would call +it, I suppose; the interior was quite dusky, and a red light was coming +through the chancel window. A very unpleasant suggestion was there, +very.... And still further enhanced by the solitude.... The place was +practically empty." + +"What was the suggestion, please?" asked Regina, completely bewildered +now by the attack on this picture of all others, and dazed by her +wandering in the mazes of another and wholly alien mind. She still +clung to the idea that she must grip hold of the keynote of these +mysteries somehow. + +The Rector fiddled with his paper and coughed, then he said, in his +pulpit manner: + +"You must not forget, Regina, that all people are not like you. It may +be quite possible that you have painted that picture innocently, but +you must think about others, in all these things, and consider their +weaknesses. I have no hesitation in saying that that painting, if put +before young people, might do great, very great, harm." + +"But how? I am only asking you how?" + +"Well ... er ... don't you see for yourself how the darkness, and the +quiet, and the solitude might ... er ... suggest to the young people of +both sexes how a cathedral might ... ah ... serve them for ... er ... +er ... immoral conduct with each other?" + +Regina's hands dropped from the chair back to her sides, with a gesture +of collapse; her face grew even more white than it had been, as the +surprise of this amazing interpretation of her sacred work forced the +blood to her heart. + +"No, I don't see," she said, with a steel-like hardness in her voice, +"nor do I believe for one instant that any young people would or could +think such things. But if they were so utterly depraved and vicious as +that, nothing could hurt them, certainly not my water-colour of the +cathedral. In any case, whatever you thought or felt about them, you +had no right to destroy them in my absence. It was an abominable thing +to do!" + +"Nonsense! As a father, I have every right to act for your good. As a +matter of fact, the pictures so annoyed me I lost my self-control, and +tore them up as soon as I saw them." + +Regina made a sudden forward step and seized his arm. The grip of those +slim, white fingers seemed to go down to the bone, and the Rector gave +an exclamation of pain. + +"Do you know that it's fortunate for you," her white lips said at his +ear, "that I have more control than you have, or I should _kill_ you +now." + +She let go his arm, turned from him and crossed the room. She knew +she must go or she would spring upon him and destroy him, as he had +destroyed her work; anger in that moment filled her with the strength +to do it. + +Once in her room she locked the door and sat down over by the window, +locking her hands together and forcing them down on the window-sill, +like one in mortal agony. Never had she felt before the in-rush of +evil upon the soul, but she knew it now. She longed to avenge herself; +longed to murder. Her nature was sweet and gentle and pure; her mind +always occupied with elevated things; the emotions of malice, of hate, +of envy, of cruelty were unknown to her. They never rose in her. But +now she was lost, submerged in this awful tide of black hate, that +rolled over her, and she struggled in it, powerless to help herself. + +"Kill him!... kill him!... kill him!... If I go out of this room, if I +see him again, I shall do it." + +She struggled vainly to get calmer, to take her eyes from the torn and +mutilated beauty on the table near her, vainly.... + +The passion of fury seethed in all her veins, it seemed a bodily as +well as a mental thing. She knotted her hands and unknotted them in an +agony, trying to throw from her this evil, hateful thing, this anger +that was parching her lips and closing her throat and corroding her +brain. + +In that supreme suffering the thought came to her suddenly of Everest, +and his face, that serene, beautiful, perfect face she so passionately +adored, floated before her darkened eyes, as if he were in the room +with her. The remembrance of their love, its exquisite tenderness, +stole upon her softly. How could she let its shrine--her mind and +body--be so invaded by these other revolting emotions? + +She strove still harder not to think of her father, not to think of his +act, not to remember her ruined work.... And then came the query: "Why +not go to him? To Everest? He wanted her.... No one here did...." + +He was back in London now; if she went to him he would be only too +happy. Had he not said so a hundred times? Her hand went to her neck, +and touched the jewel star. On her breast was his note, showing he was +planning, wishing for her coming. + +If, in any way, he was not ready, not prepared, not desirous to receive +her, she could stay alone for a little while. She had her own capital +in her pictures. But no--now, she had no pictures, and the black tide +of rage rolled up again to its full height and seemed to tower over +her, but she grappled and fought, and wrenched back her calm again. + +Her capital was in her brain, and no one could take that from her. If +she herself did not let that poisonous anger sap it.... + +Suddenly a tap came at the door. Regina drew herself up, her whole body +quivered. + +"Yes," she answered, from her place by the window. + +"Are you not coming down to dinner?" sounded in her elder sister's +voice through the door. + +"No, thank you; not this evening." + +"Why? Aren't you well?" + +"I have rather a headache. Do not wait for me, nor send me anything up. +I shall be better without it." + +"Oh ... well, father sent me up to say you were not to feel distressed +about your pictures, that he had no objection to your learning to +paint, if you wanted to and showed talent. It was your _style_ he +disliked, and if you would give up your red skies and things, and take +simple, proper subjects--country cottages and village greens, you know, +that sort of thing--he would arrange for you to have lessons from Mr. +Andrews, the drawing-master at the Kindergarten." + +Silence. + +"Did you hear, Regina? What shall I say to father?" + +"Thank him for his kind offer." + +"How strange your voice sounds! Won't you open the door?" + +"No; it might be dangerous for you." + +"Dangerous? What do you mean?" + +"Well ... er ... you see, there's a draught." + +"Very good. I'm going down. Good-night." + +"Good-night." + +Footsteps moved away from the door, and down the stairs. + +Then there was silence. + +Regina sprang to her feet, every muscle within her shaking, every pulse +throbbing with exasperation. + +Only one instinct moved her now: to escape, to get away from this +hateful place, that called itself her home, to get away from this +atmosphere of tyranny, that called itself religion, to get away from +this licentiousness of cruelty and ignorance, that called itself purity. + +She turned to her handbag and packed it rapidly, with cold, trembling +fingers. Then put on a hat and veil, and threw her cloak over her +arm; for an instant she stood before her mirror, and looked in; the +beautiful rose and white skin, the masses of soft hair, framed in her +large black summer hat, pleased her; the luminous eyes, large now with +excitement and pain, shadowed with apprehension of the unknown, to +which she was going, looked back at her; but, dark as the waters of +Life might be before her, vague and uncertain and mysterious, she felt +all the danger and evil that might lie in that treacherous sea could +not equal the horror of the stagnant harbour from which she was setting +out. + +She turned from the glass and paused, listening: the dinner-gong +sounded harshly through the house; when its echoes died away the sound +of plates being carried and doors opened and shut came to her faintly. +The family had gone in to dine on the stalled ox, with hatred. + +She opened her door and passed noiselessly, unnoticed, down the stairs. +How glad she felt that never again would she have to sit down to that +depressing, grumbling, bickering, recriminatory meal! Softly she opened +the hall door, and went out into the sweet, warm evening. + +It seemed to welcome her, enfold her, soothe her. She glanced up at the +deep rose of the light-filled sky and thought how sweetly it must be +arching over the enchanted garden. + +Never again might she see it perhaps, but its influence would be with +her all her life. Its peace and beauty, its mystery, the holy love +she had felt there, the hours of rapture she had known there, had all +moulded her soul and stamped on it an impress that could never be +effaced. + +Quickly, without a backward glance at the Rectory, she walked through +the still, dewy air towards Stossop station. + + + + +CHAPTER V + +CLEAR WATERS + + +Everest was undressing, he had already taken off his coat and +waistcoat, and was standing in front of his long mirror, unfastening +his collar, when he heard light, quick footsteps outside, and the +handle of his sitting-room door turn. With one hand still on his +neck stud, he walked through the communicating doors of his rooms, +to see who was the intruder, and came face to face with Regina, as +she entered. The moment her eyes fell on the adored figure the stony +self-command she had resolutely kept wrapped round her tightly, like +a garment, fell from her, there was no need of it here.... Everest +stretched out his arms to her and she fell into them, in a sudden +passion of tears. + +"My pictures, my pictures!" + +Her head leaned against his breast, her whole body quivered +convulsively, with great, tearing sobs, in his arms. He held her close +pressed to him, asking no question, kissing her soft hair, and the rim +of her little ear, waiting.... + +"He tore them all up," she sobbed, after some minutes, "because he +disapproved of them, and I came away, because I felt I should kill him +if I stayed there.... Oh, Everest! what a thing it is to be made to +feel like that, submerged in evil!" + +"Who tore them up?" he asked, as she raised her head. His voice had a +tone of horror in it. + +"My father; he went into my room while I was away, saw the pictures and +took them all and destroyed them; because he thought it was right, he +told me.... Can you believe it?" + +"Hardly," Everest muttered: his face had grown as white as hers. + +"What an atrocious thing to do! What a regular old John Calvin! +Darling, darling, I am sorry! What can I do to comfort you?" + +"I am comforted already, being here," she answered, drawing away from +him, and smiling through her tears, as she looked up at him. "Oh, if +you knew what a relief it is to be with you, and to feel that blackness +of hate vanishing out of one's mind, and the feelings of love rushing +back into it! For six hours now, since this happened, I did not know +myself.... I have been a murderess in heart.... I was devoured with +hate of him. The thought of you was the only thing that saved me, that +shone like a star in the darkness. The thought of _you_, that stole +through all the mists of murder and hate, and brought me here safely. +He owes his life to you...." + +Everest's face grew very grave as he drew her closer to him. + +"I am so glad you came to me," he said gently. "I like to think you +brought your grief to me, and also I was wishing for you so much, for +myself.... We can be very happy here." + +"But I don't think I can stay.... Can I?" she said doubtfully. +"Really, Everest, I don't want to be any trouble to you. You may not be +ready for me. You were not prepared for me to come now. I felt I must +see you at once, but I have a little money with me, and I can go to an +hotel, can't I, and stay there by myself?" + +Everest laughed and kissed her, looking down upon her with that +wonderful softening of all the brilliant face that moved her so. + +"Yes, you could certainly do that if I allowed it," he answered, "which +I shall not do. You can perfectly well stay here with me. These are my +own private rooms, where I do exactly as I please. I have my studio +here too, and I always count this my happiest place in town, where I am +free and alone, and no one bothers me. How did you come? Have you got +any luggage?" + +"I drove here in a taxi from the station, and I have only a handbag. +I felt I must get away from the Rectory and the possibility of losing +my senses and killing him. But I had no idea of forcing myself on you; +I want to be quiet for a day or two somewhere, and paint a picture +that came into my mind in the train. That will take away this dreadful +longing for revenge. Then you could help me, couldn't you, to get it +sold? You said I could always sell my things. I do not want ever, ever, +to go home again!" + +"Darling, why should you? Your home is with me now. As for the picture, +if you want to paint, there is my studio, through that door. You can +work in it all day undisturbed, and sell your picture, I have not any +doubt, if you wish to. But now, you shall have something to eat: you +must have left before dinner." + +Regina sank down in one of the large and truly easy chairs. Suddenly +she felt weak and cold and faint. For many hours that worst of all +fevers, scorching hate and anger, had burnt in her veins, eating up her +strength. For the time she was exhausted. + +"We must go and get you some supper directly," Everest said, regarding +her anxiously. "Sit still till I come." And he turned back into his +bedroom, to put on his coat again. + +"You were just going to bed. I am sorry to disturb you, and drag you +out again!" + +For all answer, she heard him laugh from the inner room. In a few +moments he came back to her. She looked up with a sudden exclamation. + +He had put on a light overcoat, a white silk handkerchief round his +neck, and his opera hat. + +"Everest, I have never seen you like that! How wonderful you look!--so +very handsome in that hat! I have never seen you in it before." + +"No, one doesn't wear them in the country," rejoined Everest, laughing. +"You are the most awful little flatterer I ever knew. If I live much +with you, I shall get vain in time. Come along now, you look so white. +You ought to get something to eat, and then go to bed and to sleep as +soon as you can." + +They went downstairs to the waiting taxi, and Everest ran up again with +her handbag, and set it inside his own room, with a gust of pleasure +sweeping over him. + +As he got into the taxi, he told the man to drive to the West Strand +telegraph office. + +"We must send word to your father," he said, when he was seated by her, +"and let them know you are safe." + +He saw her face grow still whiter in the shadows of the cab. + +"Why? They don't care a straw about me, any of them. Why am I obliged +to tell them what I am doing?" + +"Think how anxious they will be when they find you are not in the +house, after the picture question especially! They might think you had +drowned yourself, or anything." + +"They would not much care if I had! But they will probably think I am +with you." + +"Well, I wish them to know it," returned Everest, so decidedly that +Regina felt silenced. + +When they reached the telegraph office he got out, leaving her in the +cab, and sent the wire to John Marlow: + + + "Regina is with me and quite safe.--EVEREST." + + +He reflected for a moment with it in his hand. + +It would make talk and gossip in the village, but he did not see how he +could help it. + +Sooner or later he would have to meet John Marlow's inquiries about +his daughter, and he wished from the very beginning to have had no +deception, nor concealment of his own actions. He sent the message and +rejoined the waiting girl. + +It was too late for diners, and still early for supper-parties, so +that the restaurant, when they entered it, was nearly empty. + +Everest chose a quiet corner by a sheltering palm and screen, and the +girl sank down on the velvet-covered seat, beneath the rose-shaded +light, with a feeling of soothed contentment. It is a great thing to +come unexpectedly to one we love, and find ourselves utterly and wholly +and delightfully welcome. She saw this was so. She felt in every fibre +of her being the reflex action of the passionate electric joy that was +animating the man opposite her, under his quiet exterior. A warm colour +glowed in his clear skin; the dark eyes were full of life and fire; he +smiled a little, unconsciously, whenever he looked at her. He was so +tender and kind and devoted, so full of all that curious magnetic charm +that passion, when not thwarted, checked, too far repressed, or in +any way distorted, confers upon the male. She felt borne on a tide of +deep, peaceful happiness; she seemed to be floating gently on that warm +and buoyant flood. She was with him, and he loved and wanted her, and +nothing else in the world mattered. + +Everest ordered a delicate little supper for them, and made her drink, +in champagne, the health of her new picture, which was to start +to-morrow. + +The colour crept back to her face, and fresh strength into her limbs. +The beautiful emotions of grateful love and trust and joy were rapidly +mending the great rents that hate and evil had torn in her system. + +"Are you feeling better now?" he asked, as they finished their coffee, +gazing at her. She looked very sweet, very youthful and appealing, he +thought, her face shadowed by the large hat, in the soft light. The +pain and excitement she had been through had lent a look of spiritual +delicacy to her face, widened the eyes, dilating enormously the pupils. +The skin was pale and very clear, the lips a bright line of scarlet. + +"Are you ready? Shall we go home now?" + +Regina gazed back at him, a sudden wonder on her face. + +"How nice that sounds, when you say it--home; and I have always so +hated the word!" + +Everest laughed and rose. He felt impatient to have her in his arms and +kiss her, which he did the moment they were in the taxi, driving back +from the restaurant. + +"I am so grateful to you for being so sympathetic and sweet to me, +altogether, when I came to you suddenly, like this," she said in his +ear, with her arms round his neck, and he held her very closely as he +answered: + +"Darling, it is I that am grateful to you, for coming to me, when I +wanted you so much. I am so glad you found me in." And he was silent +for a moment remembering the conflict he had had with himself, before +he had decided to stay in and go to bed early, that night, at the +studio. + +It was only the picture of the enchanted garden that had held him. He +stood looking at it for a long time, and as the remembrance of those +radiant hours he had passed there came back to him he only longed for +Regina. Nothing else could satisfy or content him. He must insist on +her joining him at once, and until she came to him he would wait. And +then, just as his resolve was made, her hand was on his door and she +herself appeared! Just as he was longing for her so much! And he felt +he could not welcome her, kiss her, be grateful to her enough. + +When they reached his rooms again Regina said: "I should so like to +begin my picture to-morrow, but I haven't any materials with me, and +to-morrow is Sunday.... I can't buy them anywhere, can I?" + +Everest walked across the sitting-room and unlocked the door at the +end. This led into the studio. He turned on the light and called her to +follow him. + +"Here is everything, either for oil or water-colours. You can use this +easel," and he lifted a half-finished canvas from one of the easels, +and set it on the floor. "All the paints and brushes you will find in +that drawer, and the drawing paper in the large drawer underneath." + +Regina looked round her with pleasure. It was a large and +well-furnished studio; comfort and ease and every facility for work was +everywhere. + +"What a delightful place," she said; "and full of your work. I want you +to show it all to me." + +"I will some time, but not now," Everest answered, drawing her out of +the room with an arm she could not resist, and closing the door after +them. "Come into my room, and see your own picture, that was safely +with me when the others came to grief." + +He opened his bedroom door, and the girl, with a feeling of awed +delight, crossed the threshold of his room. + +If anything could have added to the worship which filled her for this +man it was the sight of that beautiful room, in which he slept and, as +he said, dreamt and thought about her. + +She hated disorder of any kind, and finding it difficult to be always +tidy and orderly in her surroundings, herself, owing to her impetuous, +unmethodical nature, she specially admired the gift for order in +another. + +She hated old, untidy clothes, hated the sight of anything that looked +torn or used or worn, and was fairly familiar with such things in the +Rectory bedrooms, since any clothes are considered good enough for the +country and home. Here, having taken Everest completely by surprise, +she saw nothing that offended her. All was in perfect order, every +object that met the eye was one of beauty and spoke of refinement and +elegance. + +The centre table had flowers upon it, and an open leather writing-case, +where he had written his last letter to her, the previous evening. +A bookcase, low and convenient, stood by a long chair covered with +a blue silk rug. There seemed no clothes anywhere--doubtless they +were all ranged neatly in those many wardrobes, standing against the +walls--except a deep blue dressing-gown, thrown over an arm-chair, and +the silk sleeping-suit lying on his bed. + +His dressing-table was really beautiful in its appointments, and the +girl's eyes rested with delight on his silver brushes and mirrors and +razors and scissors and buttonhooks. + +It was all charming; it breathed order, beauty and peace; for a spirit +of peace is largely the result of order. Although not perhaps generally +recognised, nothing fatigues the eye and mind and body more than +disordered surroundings, the broken lines of a crowded and untidy room. + +Regina had heard much of the supposed ugliness and untidiness of +bachelors' apartments, much also about the feminine touch and the +refinement to be found in a maiden's room. But this, the first +bachelor's room she had ever entered, in its stately order, compared +amazingly with the many rooms of girls and women that she had seen. + +Everest drew her over to the mantelpiece. + +"There is your picture," he said, and she gave an exclamation of +delight as she saw it. + +It stood on his mantel, in a handsome double-swept frame, with +plate-glass before it, and looked as if the greatest care had been +expended on it, which it had. + +She was surprised at the beauty of the work, now she came upon it +suddenly. The enchanted garden, in all its beauty, bloomed before her, +beneath its soft, crimson sky. + +"How well it looks in its frame!" she said; "how perfectly you have had +it done!" + +"It is a dear picture," he answered her. "It is my guardian angel. It +kept me here to-night, for you." + +Then he took off her hat, and put it on his table, and her cloak, and +drew her into his arms, and kissed her, but very softly and tenderly, +for, while she felt an absolute adoration for him, he had also for her +an overwhelming reverence, and these feelings, animating them both, +carried their love far above the range of common, earthly things. + + * * * * * * * + +The next morning Everest wrote to the Rector: + + + "MY DEAR JOHN,--Last night Regina came here in a very + excited state. She was very much upset about her pictures. She is + now staying with me, and if you can feel enough confidence in me + to let things stand just as they are for the present, I think they + will work out all right. I offered to marry her, while I was still + at Stossop, but, acting on some quixotic idea that our positions + were too unequal, she refused me, and continues to do so. I have + no doubt, however, I shall be able in time to persuade her into + granting me what is my dearest wish. + + "Best say as little as possible at present of the matter; but + where necessary you can, if you wish, give out we are already + married. Yours always, + + "EVEREST." + + +He sent this letter when they had had their morning coffee, which he +made himself, and after Regina had gone into the studio and settled +down to her work. + +She was nervous, trembling with a sort of inward palpitation, which so +often precedes intense effort, and he knew the only way to calm her was +to let her produce as soon as possible the ideas burning within her. + +She worked all day, never once pausing to eat or drink. Everest, +knowing her intense preoccupation, and anxious to see her freed from +the feverish tension possessing her, went away to his club, and then on +to the new flat, leaving her alone, and thus free to work all the hours +of light. + +At five he returned, and as he opened the door of their sitting-room +she rushed to him and kissed him passionately. + +"It is done! It is finished! Come and look!" And she drew him over to +the studio, and to the window, where the picture stood, facing the last +western light, on the easel. + +Everest almost started as his eyes fell on it. Its realism was so +tremendous. The passion and the fury of it seemed to strike the +spectator like a blow. It was a great picture, but horrible!--horrible +as its title, written in glittering letters of gold paint, beneath it: +"The Murderer." + +Over a plain of snow, snow that covered foreground, middle distance and +distance alike, one limitless, hostile plain, hurried a single figure, +a fugitive, cowering figure, the folds of whose heavy coat, torn back +by the merciless wind, revealed a face in which fear and every hideous, +malignant emotion known to humanity struggled together. Behind him +glowed, blood-red, a crimson sky, the light from which, exquisitely +handled, by a truly master-hand, fell all across the snowy plain and +caught and tinged with scarlet the foot-tracks the wretched wayfarer +had left behind him; footsteps of blood indeed they seemed. + +Awe-inspiring, terrible, fascinating, great in its grip of its horrible +subject, the picture wounded, satisfied, attracted and repelled all at +the same instant. + +Everest turned from it to her and drew her into his arms. "I think it +is a very, very great thing," he said gently. + +"He murdered my pictures and I longed to murder him. I have lived, and +slept, and lain down and got up with murder ever since. But now, it +is over. I have exorcised the demon. It is all there in the picture. +I have put it into that, and got rid of it. I am free again. Also I +am content, happy again!" And she smiled up at him, the light of love +and joy all rippling over her face. "It is greater than any you saw at +Stossop, better than any he tore up, is it not?" she asked. "That's why +I feel I can forgive him; he tore up all those, but then, his action +inspired this, which is greater, so I am not really injured, after all. +Besides, all that fire and rage and passion I felt seemed to be like +a smelter, in which my talent found itself, gathered itself together, +freed itself from all its dross of weakness or indecision, and flowed +out in its true mould. I shall paint better now, always, I think, than +I did." + +She was wonderfully attractive to him in her excitement and enthusiasm. +That great energy that was in his own system seemed roused and called +into its full life by the display of it in another. + +She was quite white, after her long fast, and her eyes shone like great +lights in her face. He could feel all the muscles of her arms tremble, +beneath the smooth surface of the skin, as he held them. + +He had seen women before in all stages of excitement, induced by wine +and physical emotions, but this was totally different; this joyous, +passionate, mental elation that seemed rushing through her veins and +pouring from every cell of her slender, supple, beautiful body, into +his own. + +As in the enchanted garden, she seemed less an ordinary woman to him +than some immortal, with all the fires of Olympus in her intoxicating +kiss. He had grudged those hours of the dull, uninteresting Sunday +that he had spent alone, while she was engaged in her work, but this +was worth it!--this moment of his home-coming, to her embrace, and +the hour which followed, when the painting was shut up alone, in the +cold studio, and he drew all her joyous passion, her ardent energy, to +himself! + + * * * * * * * + +When the Rector received Everest's letter, which he did the following +afternoon, alone in his study, his face was a complex reflection of +the emotions of joy and surprise. He knew that Regina was extremely +unworldly (foolish, he considered), but that unselfishness or +disinterestedness could take any girl so far as to refuse Everest was +something his mind could hardly grasp.... So Everest had been immensely +taken with her! That was just what he had thought.... And he had +actually proposed to her!... And then, the little imbecile had refused +him! + +He never doubted a single word in the letter; the two men knew each +other and understood each other perfectly, and he felt sure what +Everest had written was the absolute truth. + +He sat, absently playing with the sheet of paper a long time, thinking. +As things were now, he could not certainly do any good by interfering. +He could only hope that Regina would abandon her idiotic attitude +before Everest's passion cooled. Her duty, of course, was to do, as +every good woman does: tie up the man firmly, while in a state of +helpless intoxication, so that when he recovers his senses he may be +rigidly bound, and none of his struggles to escape can avail him +anything. This leaving him free until he was sane again was a most +immoral and silly idea. However, there it was, and Regina had wonderful +brains, intellectually, though she was such a fool about her own +interests; she was just the sort of girl to keep a man like Everest in +love with her. It might turn out very well. + +To her mother he had better state the case as it was; to the girls +he should say, he thought, that their sister was married. Regina's +flight had not occasioned much stir at the Rectory, for it had not been +discovered till the following morning, and then almost simultaneously +with the arrival of Everest's telegram. Jane had cried all the morning +over this final destruction of her hopes, and had not appeared at +luncheon; Violet had been round-eyed, silent and stolid, as usual. +Mrs. Marlow had violently reproached him for tearing up the child's +paintings and thrown all the responsibility of Regina's leaving home +upon him, and he had finally lost his temper, and taken her by the +shoulders, and put her out of his study, and she had not been at +luncheon either. That was all. + +By dinner all would assemble again, with only the usual feelings of +aggravation, dislike and hostility to one another. + +And now he could certainly get Everest to restore the church for him. +It needed it badly, and enlarging too. He could not well refuse under +the circumstances, and after the marriage Lanark Park would be a +nice place for the girls to stay at. What an excuse for him too; for +frequent visits to town ... to see Regina!... She was very generous +also. Now she would be so rich, there were many little loans he +could ask of her--a motor would certainly be a convenience, for the +more distant visits to his parishioners, and ready cash ... for other +expenses that it was troublesome to draw cheques for.... Yes, decidedly +the news was good, though it might have been better; so he dipped his +pen in the ink and answered Everest's note at once: + + + "MY DEAR EVEREST,--Perhaps you can imagine with what + profound sorrow I read your letter of yesterday. I am doubly + wounded, as father and as clergyman. + + "It is indeed deplorable that a girl like Regina, brought up so + carefully, spiritually watched over so tenderly, grounded so + thoroughly in religious principles and surrounded by the purity of + a loving home, should have taken such a terrible and distressing + step. + + "You ask me to have confidence in you, and I think you know + already, my dear Everest, I have the greatest confidence. But for + this, the blow would be insupportable. You must, however, realise + what a father's feelings are in such a terrible situation, and I + trust you will exert yourself to the utmost to make my daughter's + position an honourable one as soon as you possibly can. I cannot + write more at present; I feel it all too keenly. In much sorrow, + your old friend, + + "JOHN." + + +He read that over with satisfaction. He knew Everest would not stand +the least coercion, but that to say he had confidence in him and, as it +were, to put him on his honour, was the best--in fact the only--way to +deal with him. + +With a bland smile, he folded the letter, put it in its envelope and +then turned to his sermon for next Sunday, on "Candour and Honesty." + +When Everest received this letter he read it through, an amused smile +playing over his handsome face, and then slipped it into his pocket, +with the single comment: "Jolly old humbug, John!" + +The first thing on Monday morning Regina begged him to see about +getting her picture sold, and Everest sent it to a shop he knew well in +Bond Street, with instructions to frame and glaze it, and expose it in +the window. + +Regina asked specially that the price might be put on, and fixed it +without consulting anyone at seventy-five pounds. + +Two or three days after, in Bond Street, they saw a little knot of +people before a shop, and when they came up to it found it was "The +Murderer" that made the attraction. + +The painting looked very fine in its frame, and leaning back at just +the right angle in the window. One could hardly pass it without at +least a sideways glance, and nearly everyone paused to gaze at it. + +Regina stood for a moment, hearing, with Everest beside her, the +comments on her work. Outwardly, she was quite unmoved, but when they +turned into the park she looked up at him. + +Her face was flushed and glowing, her eyes shone softly. "Thank you +so much for arranging it all so well for me. I shall be glad when it +is sold. It is not a picture one wants to keep, as one does 'The +Enchanted Garden,'" and then after a pause: "All those people to-day +spoke of its great power, didn't they? It was fun to hear them talk!" + +The following days were largely occupied in getting clothes, and though +Regina begged him not to trouble about these, he came with her and +superintended all the purchases. + +She did not seem to wish to have anything sent her from the Rectory, +and she never inquired what Everest had written to her father, nor what +the reply had been. For her, apparently, her home and all its inmates +had ceased to exist. + +These days spent in town, empty though it was, and rather dusty and +disagreeable at that time of year, were full of a wonderful delight +for them both. Everest was gifted with a marvellously good temper, +the result of his perfect health and strength. Nothing ever seemed to +ruffle or disturb him. He was always ready to laugh at those thousand +little contretemps that occur in life from day to day--he never blamed +her for them, even when she deserved it. He was always satisfied with +the clothes she chose and wore; according to him, she was always +dressed in the right things, and looked sweet in them. He sympathised +with her in her smallest troubles. If she had an ache, or pain, or +a cut finger it was a serious matter to him; and in these days of +intimate companionship with him Regina grew to know what the absolute +idolatry of another meant. She had come to him with it in her heart, +as so many women come to their lovers and husbands with that precious +gift, but in nearly every case the intense egoism, the want of all +consideration, the ungracious ill-humour, the constant anger over petty +details that men usually display in daily life, completely destroy it, +leaving the woman at last weary and indifferent. Everest's gay, sunny +disposition was very like Regina's own, and to be with him, after +living in the depressing atmosphere of the Rectory, made her feel as a +bird might feel set free in a glad, green wood, full of summer light, +after long imprisonment in a cellar. Almost breaking with its own +delight, her heart soared upwards in love's bright and sunny sky. + +The picture had been in the window of the Bond Street shop a few days +when late one afternoon a middle-aged man entered, and nodding to the +proprietor took a chair by the counter. + +"I see you've found a new genius, Jim," he said, "and you are doing +your best to boom it, by putting on that ridiculous price; but you know +it's too much; you won't get it!" + +"Well, sir, it's the lady's own price. I am selling it for her," +answered the man deferentially, for his visitor was a constant +customer; a good judge of painting, and with a purse as sound as his +judgment. + +"Oh, it's a lady, is it? So much the better. A pretty one?" + +"I shouldn't like to say so very pretty, but tall and attractive, and +so bright it's just like sunshine to see her come in." + +"And how old?" + +"Oh, about eighteen or nineteen I should say." + +His customer nodded contentedly. + +"She has remarkable talent--remarkable! The choice of subject alone +shows that; so strong, so original. All the same, I can't give you that +sum for it. It's ridiculous. You just take off two-fifty, and then we +can talk about it." + +The shopman's face was a study, as he looked back at his interlocutor. +He had known Mr. Burton for twenty-five years, and had never seen him +intoxicated yet, but what was he talking about now? + +"Two-fifty?" he repeated blankly. + +"Yes!" returned the other testily, thinking he was pondering +discontentedly over the demanded reduction, "I say two-fifty. You +must know, as well as I do, that five hundred is a fancy price for +a water-colour. However I'll stand that; it's a big picture, and +something quite exceptional, so I'll go five hundred, especially as the +lady is eighteen and attractive. But not any more, and if you refuse +that, you're a fool, Jim!" + +Jim looked down at his glass counter, struggling with his amazement, +and it did credit to his good qualities as a trader that his face +presented nothing more than the surly and sour look of one who is asked +to reduce his price for a valuable object. Rapidly, he tried to grasp +the position, and, though he could not find at once the key to it, +he saw that there was some error somewhere, which had induced Burton +to make him an offer of five hundred pounds for a picture priced at +seventy-five. It was clearly his duty to get for the artist the most +that anyone was willing to pay for the painting. It was even more his +duty to secure the largest possible commission for himself. + +Here, if anywhere, the law of _caveat emptor_ must apply. Burton had +seen the picture, Burton was a connoisseur, if Burton said it was +worth five hundred that settled it; it was worth it. The vocation of +picture-dealing lends a mask to the face and adroitness to the mind. + +Jim looked up with a depressed air. + +"The lady fixed the price herself, sir.... I don't know whether I ought +to...." + +Burton interrupted him: "Fiddlesticks! Fiddlesticks! I'll write you a +cheque for five hundred pounds, and you send it to the lady with my +compliments, not only on her painting, but on her cheek in asking so +much for it. Say if she's not satisfied, she can return the cheque +and have her picture back." And he drew out a cheque-book and laid it +on the counter. Jim, inwardly trembling lest at any moment Regina or +Everest should come in and in some way spoil this amazing bargain, +still moved slowly to fetch pen and ink, and put it before his customer +with the grudging air of a man who hates the concession he is making. + +As soon as Burton was engrossed in writing he turned to the window, +and himself lifted the picture from it. The price ticket he rapidly +transferred to his pocket, before Burton looked round. He had signed +the cheque and pushed it over to Jim's side of the counter. He +stretched out his hand and took the painting. + +"Turn on the light.... Let's see how it looks by electric." + +The light was flashed on, and the beautiful soft crimson tones of the +sky, the fallen brilliance on the snow, lost nothing by it. + +Strong, masterly, complete, it satisfied the eye of the judge, as he +scanned it rapidly and keenly. + +"She'll go far, very far, if some damned love business doesn't cripple +her," he muttered to himself, and then aloud to Jim: + +"Tell her to paint me a pendant to this--anything she likes, and I'll +give her another five hundred pounds, but not more, mind! Gad, I do +like her cheek!" + +"Shall I send this, sir?" asked Jim: he felt himself turning green with +fear lest anything should happen before he could get Burton and the +picture safely off his premises, the cheque left behind. + +"No, no! Put it in the motor, I'll take it with me. You can send me +up the lady herself, if you like! With the pendant, you know!" And +chuckling at his own joke he went out to his waiting motor, followed +by Jim, grasping the picture with hands that were damp and cold with +anxiety. The motor started, and he went back to his shop. + +"Well, talk of luck!!!" + +He drew the ticket from his pocket and looked at it under the electric +burner; a hair had curled itself round on the paper, by the figures, +and formed a little blot after them, which looked something like a +closed nought. The ticket, if your eye happened to catch it that way, +read £750, and nothing else. + +Just as Everest was going to change his clothes for dinner, that +evening, the telephone in the studio called him up. He went to it and +heard the picture-dealer's voice: + +"Would you mind stepping round, sir, for a moment? It's about the +picture, and it's important: only please don't say anything to the +lady till you've seen me, please, sir." + +Everest assented and went back to Regina. She was seated, ready to go +out to the restaurant where they usually dined, dressed in a white +dress he had chosen for her, very similar to the one she had worn at +the Rectory the first night he saw her. + +"I like to see you in one like that--it brings such happy associations +with it," he had said. + +A collar of sapphires he had given her was round her neck, and the +jewelled star he had sent to Stossop at her breast. + +She looked very lovely, as she always did in evening dress, the +wonderful milky whiteness of her skin and its satin surface seemed to +hold the eye irresistibly. + +Beside her lay her dark cloak, white-lined, ready to slip on. "I am so +sorry, but I must go out for a few minutes. Will you amuse yourself +till I come back?" + +She looked up and saw Everest with his hat and coat on. + +"Certainly, don't hurry on my account," she said, smiling up at him, +and he went out. + +At the shop he found Jim in a state of dismay. Possible complications +had occurred to him. He explained the whole incident to Everest and +then wound up with: + +"I didn't know what to say on the spur of the moment, as you might +call it. With the gentleman there, pressing me to take five hundred +pounds for it, it seemed nothing less than my duty, but for heaven's +sake, sir, don't let the lady give me away about it, for if Mr. Burton +thought I'd made him pay more than I might have done, perhaps he'd +never come into the shop again." + +Everest listened to the whole recital with some amusement. + +"I can't say what view the lady will take," he said at the end. "But +I am quite sure she won't do anything to make trouble for you. As you +say, Burton's opinion goes far to making the value of it. I do not +see any harm in her accepting his price myself, but she may choose to +refuse. We shall see." + +"If she lets on that she fixed the price at seventy-five pounds, +Burton'll see the whole game," wailed the shopman. "Do tell her, sir, +she mustn't give me away like that." + +Everest promised he would see he was protected, and when the man was +somewhat calmed, he returned to the rooms. + +Regina was standing by the mantelpiece, gazing at the garden picture, +when he entered. + +He went up to her, and bending over her kissed her white shoulder, and +pressed the cheque into her hand. + +"The picture was sold to-day and the buyer thought its price was seven +hundred and fifty pounds. He offered Jim five hundred for it, and the +man thought it his duty to accept it." + +Regina gazed back at him with astonished eyes. + +"Then is this for me?" she asked, unfolding the cheque. + +"Yes; Burton, the man who bought it, was satisfied to give that for it, +which should be a great satisfaction to you." + +"It is; but why did he think it was priced at seven hundred and fifty? +I suppose he misread the card. I think I had better write and tell him +I only asked seventy-five pounds." + +If John Marlow was a humbug, Regina certainly was not. Everest watched +her with interest. He knew so well what John would have said and done +in a like case. He would have been so bland and glib, and pocketed the +cheque so smoothly! + +"You can't very well without giving away the shopman, who not +unnaturally thought he was doing his best for you. It has made rather +a difficult situation. You had better think over what you'd like to do +while I'm dressing." + +Regina took the cheque and walked back into the sitting-room. She sat +down at once and wrote: + + + "DEAR SIR,--Through a mistake of mine, you were asked + for my picture more than I intended. I am therefore returning you + your cheque for five hundred pounds and I shall be quite satisfied + if you will send me another for one hundred pounds instead. Yours + faithfully, + + "REGINA ----." + + +And here she paused. It was the first note she had written since she +had been with Everest. What would he wish her to sign it? She left it +open, and sat and waited till he came in. + +Everest picked up the note and read it; then he saw the blank she had +left, and took the pen from her and wrote in, himself: "Lanark," and +she pressed her soft, warm lips on his hand as it laid down the pen. + +"Can that do any harm to the dealer?" she asked. "It has all got into +a muddle, and I hate even that note, because it's not absolutely +straight facts, but perhaps it's the best I can do. What do you think?" + +"I think it's all right, if you want to return the cheque, which +there's no real need to do, since Burton bought the thing with his eyes +open." + +"I know, but there is a feeling he was somehow deceived. I would rather +return it, I think. I only want the seventy-five pounds I asked really, +but I don't dare to bring that in, because it would betray the dealer. +It would strike Burton probably, then, that the man acted as he did." + +She put the note in an envelope and addressed it at Everest's +dictation, and on their way to the restaurant they posted it. Everest +meditated in silence on her action. It was just what he had expected of +her. He saw that of the business, worldly, trader's instinct, which was +so marked a feature of the Rector's character, there was not a trace +in Regina. She had the aristocrat's outlook on things, similar to his +own, and he admired the quick, decided way she had instantly refused to +be even the passive party to a mild deceit, by which she was to profit +considerably. That Burton had considered her picture worth five hundred +pounds, and valued it at that, pleased him also greatly, and in his +ears rang the words of the connoisseur, repeated by the dealer: + +"She will go very far, if some confounded love business doesn't cripple +her." + +And suddenly, besieged by many thoughts, he turned to her, as she sat +beside him in the taxi, and kissed her impetuously, and crushed her +up to him, taking the girl by surprise. But she was always ready for +his caresses, and put her arm up round his neck, and kissed him back, +although it was ruffling her hair, and crushing to death the tea-roses +she had pinned at her breast. + +The next day, while they were having tea together in the studio, +where he had been showing her his work, she received Burton's answer, +enclosing the original cheque: + + + "MY DEAR YOUNG LADY,--Pardon this form of address. I am + sure you must be very young to be so honest. I paid five hundred + pounds for your picture, and it's more than worth it. I had an + advance offer on it to-day. + + "Go to work, and paint me another as soon as you can. Any subject, + and the price to be five hundred pounds. Your admirer, + + "CHARLES BURTON." + + +"I _am_ so glad, Everest!" she exclaimed, the brilliant light he knew +so well leaping up in her eyes. "A thousand pounds! I need not spend +more than that in a year, and so be no expense whatever to you." + +Everest laughed. + +"My sweet, no; but if you cost me twenty thousand a year, I would be +delighted to pay it!" + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +PARADISE OR ...? + + +About a week later the flat was ready for them, and, their things +having preceded them, they drove over to it in the afternoon. + +Tears had stood in Regina's eyes as she took her possessions out of +Everest's room at the studio to pack them. + +"I have been so wonderfully happy here," she exclaimed, "I cannot help +being sorry to leave. This is where I came and took you by surprise, +and you were so good to me." + +"Well, my darling, we might go on staying here, only, you see, it +is not very comfortable being obliged to go out to all our meals. I +generally only use this place in the summer, and when I am up just for +a few days or when I have a picture on hand," Everest had answered, +coming up to her. + +"We shall soon furnish the flat with as much joy and happiness as we +have had here." + +Regina laughed and sighed. + +"The best furniture of all--joy and happiness," she repeated, and went +on steadily packing. + +They had lived quite in Bohemian style at the studio, having no +servants to wait upon them, only the _concierge_ of the whole +building and his underlings, who saw to the cleaning of the place and +the arranging of the rooms, the carrying up of letters and water, +wood or coal, as required. Everest had made their own coffee in the +morning, and tea in the afternoon. For all else, they had relied on +the restaurants outside. There had been a charm in the quietness, the +simplicity of it all, in the utter absence of other eyes upon them, +even of servants, in the sense of being absolutely alone together in +this little niche of London, and to the girl a great, an indefinable +charm, in knowing this was his own, his most private, particular niche, +where he had lived and worked alone. + +When they reached the flat, and Everest took her over it, Regina was +surprised at its wonderful comfort and luxury. The rooms at the studio, +where they had been staying, were large, well furnished and in perfect +order, but there had been a certain simplicity about them, a suggestion +that they were used by a bachelor in his hours of severe and solitary +work. The whole appearance and air of the flat was totally different. +It was full of beauty and luxury, and spoke of pleasure and ease, and +the delight of the senses. Everest had been preparing it for her, and +his heart had been in all the designing of it, while, as he did not +care in the least what the bills came to, everything in it was of the +most beautiful and most costly, extravagant type. + +It was spacious, with a wide, high hall, square in shape, from which +the various rooms opened, and contained two large bedrooms, dining +and drawing rooms and an extra sitting-room, besides all the offices, +servants' bedrooms, kitchen and bathrooms. Regina thought the bedroom +he had arranged for them the most beautiful specimen of furnishing +she had ever seen. It was all in white and silver, with a silver +chick--that is to say, long curtains composed of vertical, swinging +threads of silver beads--enclosing the entire bed. + +The walls were hung with white satin embroidered with silver, instead +of being papered, and the curtains were white satin and velvet, lined +with silver. The carpet was white velvet pile, with a design of lilies +of the valley, and their pale green leaves wreathed over it, and +outlined in silver, and all the furniture and china in the room bore +out the same design. The whole was lighted by deep rose-coloured lamps, +enclosed in fairy-like silver open-work, the tinted light flooding +everything, which otherwise might have seemed too cold, with tender +warmth. + +"How exquisite! How truly lovely!" she exclaimed to him, and he flushed +and laughed, and said nothing was good enough for her, and that he had +designed the room to imitate the diamond-like radiance of her mind, and +the satin whiteness of her skin. + +They went on from room to room, Regina admiring everything, her eyes +delighting in all the beauty and perfection of it, and her heart +beating uncertainly to think of the homage it all expressed for her. + +They came back finally to the drawing-room, where a little fire burned +cheerily, though it was not at all cold, and the window was open. Tea +was laid ready for them, on a table near the fire, and they sat down, +opposite each other, looking into each other's eyes, and feeling that +no two human beings could possibly be more happy than they were. + +Everest had thought four servants would be enough for them: a cook, +housemaid, footman, and his own valet. He had offered Regina a maid, +but she had begged to be allowed to continue without one. + +"I do everything so simply and quickly for myself. I am accustomed to +it, and I don't want to become less independent." + +Everest had replied it didn't matter at all, and so the question was +left. + +The valet, Hammond, had greeted Regina respectfully, inwardly delighted +that his master had chosen her, and not one of "them other 'aughty and +stupid young ladies at the Rectory." + +"You must be quite tired with all that tour of inspection," Everest +said, as they drew up their chairs to the table, "have some of these +hot scones to restore you." + +"I shall soon be restored from such a pleasant fatigue as that," she +returned, laughing. "The rooms are so beautiful, they are just like +lovely pictures, and you have had so many of your own things brought +here they look as if we had been living in them for months already." + +He had brought many personal things there, and a few of his own +pictures, which pleased her more than anything. They were finely +finished paintings of tropical scenery, and she spent a long time +studying them. Her own picture of "The Enchanted Garden" he could not +bear to part with from his bedroom, and it stood by itself on a table, +at the foot of the white and silver bed. + +A few days after their installation, Everest had to leave her, to go +into the country, and after a morning's work on her new picture she +spent the afternoon playing the piano. + +About four o'clock she rang for tea, and just after it had been brought +heard the hall door open and footsteps and voices outside. + +She opened the drawing-room door and saw that the footman was +interviewing a tiny and extremely dainty feminine young person, dressed +in black velvet and a small toque covered with Parma violets. + +She had a sheaf of papers in her hands, some keys and a gold pencil, +and a velvet bag swung from her grey gloved wrist. A sudden tremor of +interest, though she could not tell why, and could only see the back of +the intruder, ran through Regina. + +"But I must have left it here, because I have already looked on the +stairs and everywhere," she heard the girl saying. + +"I am sorry, madam, but nothing has been noticed here," the footman was +replying, when his mistress stepped forward. + +The visitor turned, and Regina saw she was face to face with the +beautiful, cameo-like countenance she had seen in the velvet case in +Everest's room at Stossop. She recognised it instantly--in fact it was +such a striking face, and of such a marked type, it would have been +quite impossible not to do so. For the first instant Regina thought +that the girl had come to see her. Then she remembered that, though +she, Regina, knew her by her portrait and through Everest's remarks, +the girl had never seen and probably never heard of herself, and was in +ignorance equally of Everest's being at this address. It was just a +strange chance that had brought them together. + +"I have lost my pocket-book, with all my notes in it--so tiresome!" the +girl was saying, as she turned to Regina. + +"I called to see the flat above, and mistook the number. I came in here +before I discovered my mistake, and so I thought I might have dropped +my book here, as I can't find it anywhere else. I am tired to death +with looking at flats and worrying over them and now, in addition, to +lose my pocket-book...." + +She looked very tired, her face was flushed, she seemed nervous and +half-inclined to cry. + +A thought came to Regina that she would like to see more of her. She +was truly beautiful, and she was Everest's cousin. + +"I am so sorry," she said aloud, "but won't you come in and rest for a +few moments, and have tea with me? I am quite alone, and just going to +have mine." + +The girl hesitated. Behind Regina she could see the luxurious and +inviting room, with its tea-table, burdened with good things. She was +dreadfully tired and thirsty ... her motor was downstairs at the door, +and could easily wait ... tea would be delightful and she could spin +home afterwards in no time. + +"Oh, thanks.... Well, do you know, I think I will really.... It is too +kind of you...." + +"I shall be delighted," returned Regina. And the footman closed the +door, while the two women passed into the drawing-room. + +She gave her guest a low easy-chair by the fire, facing the window, and +the talk was all about the lost pocket-book for many minutes, and while +Regina listened and sympathised she studied intently the face opposite +her. The girl was very fair, light curls of absolute and natural gold +showed under her tiny hat, her eyes were large and blue, and surmounted +by pale brown eyebrows, most perfectly and delicately arched. The +features were exquisite in their refinement, in their delicacy and +finish of form. A tiny, straight nose, a little curled upper lip, a +most exactly and elaborately curved mouth of scarlet, a ring of small, +even teeth, a perfect chin, set on a round column of throat, made up +a face of great beauty. The skin was of the colour and appearance of +ivory, and, now that the flush was dying away, colourless, except for +its even tone of cream. She was exceedingly small, there seemed hardly +any body at all in the tight-fitting black velvet gown. + +In the large, voluptuous easy-chair she looked like a beautiful little +French doll. She explained how her aunt and herself were looking at +flats for some friends, and how to-day her aunt had been ill and unable +to come, and had begged her to motor to some different addresses, +and how she had done so, and made a lot of notes as to prices and +conditions--that this was the last to be visited, and that having done +that, and coming downstairs, she had missed her book, which contained +the whole fruits of her labours, and she was ready to cry with vexation +over it, etc., etc. + +She talked prettily enough, but Regina saw, long before the recital, +with its many repetitions, its unnecessary details, its confused +arrangement, was over, the kind of mental equipment she possessed. The +losing of the pocket-book was exactly what might have been expected of +the silly, feather-headed little creature. + +After the pocket-book's loss had been thoroughly deplored, Regina led +her into general conversation. She thought possibly, as her visitor's +eyes strayed about, they might recognise some of Everest's things, +but she did not seem to do so, nor to know the pictures, on which, at +Regina's invitation, she expressed some very banal opinions. She seemed +to admire the furniture of the flat a good deal more. + +Regina, who, like all great natures, had practically the double +disposition of male and female in her, was always greatly attracted, as +a man is, by beauty and grace in a woman. + +She felt no hostility to it, and no jealousy, so that Everest's +cousin had appealed to her favourably at first. At the end, however, +of half-an-hour the girl had tired and bored her by the inanity of +everything she said, and she found herself wondering whether, if the +girl married, the husband would shortly after commit suicide or enter +a lunatic asylum, or what would be his fate, and she was glad when the +visitor said she must go. + +"It's been too awfully sweet of you!" she said. "I've enjoyed the rest +so much, and feel quite well again.... Good-bye...." + +Regina wished her good-bye and accompanied her to the hall. True to +English traditions of good breeding, they had conversed all the time +without asking each other a single question, or hearing each other's +names. + +When her visitor had gone, Regina walked over to the fire and gazed +long at her own face in the mirror. + +Though it had not the beauty of line of the other girl's, it possessed +something that hers had not. + +Then she commenced walking up and down the room. She was asking herself +this question: + +"That girl, with all her possessions and her beauty, could she make a +man as happy as I can, I wonder?" + +The thing interested her, and she pondered over it deeply and nearly +made herself late in dressing for dinner. + +When Everest came back she recounted the whole incident, just as it had +happened, and saw him contract his eyebrows. + +"So Sybil's in town now," he remarked merely, and seemed disinclined to +pursue the subject. + +For many days after this, Everest was very much occupied, and out a +great deal, and Regina devoted herself to the painting for Burton. + +They would be leaving England shortly for the winter, and she was +anxious to complete her work in good time before they had to start. She +had called her subject "The Great Denial," and she hoped to make it as +strong a picture as "The Murderer." + +It was the interior of a monastic cell, of which the cold grey stone +was illumined by a feeble candle flame. On the stone ledge, that served +as table, stood a plate of untouched bread, by a flagon of water, +equally untasted. On the floor, stretched out, with his arms extended +in the form of a cross, lay the poor, attenuated, emaciated figure of a +young monk, apparently asleep. + +Upon his face rested an expression of extreme beatitude. The whole end +of the cell was in vivid light, a sort of rose colour deepening into +crimson and shot through with gold, and from the centre of the rosy +mist lifted itself the etherealised form of a woman. In her face shone +all the purest and tenderest qualities of sexual love, as she seemed to +smile on the poor, thin figure on the flagstones. + +Regina worked on this picture slowly, lovingly, with tender care, +different entirely from the fierce rush of inspiration, the fury of +energy in which she had accomplished the other. She painted chiefly +while Everest was out, and this was often, for he had a good deal to do +and attend to before leaving England for an indefinite time. + +As no marriage had been given out, he could not introduce Regina to +any of his friends. He disliked equally the idea of lying directly +about her position, and of running the risk of her being annoyed or +insulted by them. So he saw little of his friends, and refused all the +invitations he could. Where he was obliged to accept, he went alone, +and Regina was quite happy, for she wanted nothing but Everest himself; +friends, amusement, gaiety, display--all these were nothing to her. Her +love and her art filled to overcrowding her daily life. + +But sheltered though she lived in this happy seclusion, certain rumours +of the enormity of Everest's conduct reached the attentive ears of his +family, and to her surprise, one afternoon, she received a visit from +Everest's sister. She was sitting alone in the large drawing-room of +the flat, half buried in one of the luxurious arm-chairs, contemplating +with dreamy satisfaction the finished picture, to which she had been +adding a few final touches, softening here and there some over-dark +lines. With the brush still in her hand, she sat far back in her chair, +gazing on her work, while the light outside diminished and the great +room grew dim, lighted only by the wavering glow from the fire. She +would not ring for the tea to be brought up till Everest came back, +nor turn on the light; she would wait for him, and from gazing on +the picture she gradually fell to musing in the shadow-filled room +and meditating on her life. How supremely happy she was in it! She +could not imagine at that moment one other gift that she would demand +from the gods, if she had had the privilege of doing so. How perfect +the union between herself and her lover was! She wondered if it were +usual, this harmony of wish and desire, of thought and expression, +of outlook and view between two people, if it were usual for women +to feel that adoration for the lover or husband they chose that she +felt for Everest, so that his mere entering the room gave her joy, his +smile upon her a passionate delight, the sound of his voice an excited +pleasure, while his desire for herself carried her away to a paradise +of which afterwards her brain could hardly realise or reconstruct in +memory the ecstasy. As she was dreaming in these soft reveries the door +suddenly opened, and, thinking it was Everest himself, she sprang up to +welcome him. + +It was the footman, however, who handed her a salver, from which she +took and read the little white slip: + +"Miss Lanark." + +"Say I am at home," she said, and turned on the light, filling the +room with soft rose colour from its many-shaded lamps. After a moment +Miss Lanark entered. The luxury of the beautifully furnished room +struck upon her senses disagreeably, the warmth, the light, the extreme +comfort of it, the beauty of its velvet hangings and carpet, its silken +curtains, the fragrance of the exotic flowers on the tables impressed +her just as she expected to be impressed, coming to her brother's +rooms from the severe simplicity of her own Scottish home. Here was +comfort, luxury, beauty; all the accompaniments of _vice_. She glanced +towards her hostess, standing to receive her. Here too, just as she +expected: the girl was richly dressed; a gown of pastel-blue velvet +fitted close--so closely and smoothly Miss Lanark had never seen, +except on the stage, in her rare visits to the theatre--the beautiful, +supple figure of the wearer, and fell in gracious folds round her. +There seemed old lace and some pearls about her throat, and above +rose her face, so soft and warm and vivid in its fair colouring that +it suggested being painted. Yes, it was all there just as she had +imagined. The picture was complete. Beauty, ease, luxury, happiness, +these must and did mean--sin. + +She took the chair the girl drew forward for her. She was very calm and +self-possessed, and Regina thrilled through all her being, recognising +in her just that same wonderful grace of bearing, that air of perfect +breeding, that charmed her so in Everest. She was about ten years +older than he was, and her hair was grey, while his was quite black, +but she had the same beautiful features, only whereas in Everest's case +the face was all light and fire, life and animation, the sister's was +dead and grey and cold, unsmiling and severe. + +"I have come to talk to you about my brother," she said, without any +preface, and Regina heard the gentle, refined tones of Everest's voice, +only with the music left out. + +"I am so glad," she rejoined simply. "There is no subject so dear to +me. I worship him." + +This last phrase offended Miss Lanark; men and women, in her +estimation, should like and esteem each other. They should not use the +word "worship" about each other, but keep that for their Maker. She +passed this over in silence on this occasion, and pursued coldly: + +"Then don't you see how wrong it is to be living with him like this, +and keeping him from doing his duty to himself and his family?" + +"What is Everest's duty?" queried Regina, gazing at her visitor with +genuine interest. + +For the moment Miss Lanark was disconcerted. She had not really +thought of that. The ordinary run of people make use of a number of +set phrases, that have been composed for them and passed on by others, +and the direct questions of the few who think for themselves generally +bring confusion and discomfort upon them. + +"Well ... er ... to ... er ... marry some proper and fitting person, +and have children to inherit his name and estates." + +"Wouldn't it be just as good for the family, and everybody, if his +brother inherited them?" + +Again Miss Lanark felt a little uncertain of her ground. + +"No," she said, with some asperity, after a minute; "I don't think it +would." + +"But Everest was not doing all that when he met me," objected Regina. +"He spent his time travelling about over the world, and loving and +being loved by all sorts of people." + +Miss Lanark drew herself together very rigidly on her chair, the lines +of her mouth set. + +"I am quite aware that Everest has been very wild," she said icily, +"but we all hoped he would come home and settle down now to a quiet and +godly life." + +Regina was silent for a few moments. Her gaze swept round the peaceful, +restful room, where the walls had never echoed a hard or unloving word +all the time that she and Everest had occupied it, which had enclosed +a shrine of perfect love, where both had vied with each other in +self-sacrifice, in tenderness, in devotion, and wondered if indeed any +life could be more godly than theirs. + +"We all hoped he would marry his cousin, Lady Constance Sybil Graham, +on his return to this country, and he would have done, I believe, but +for you. He would now, if--if----" She hesitated. + +"You think it would be a good beginning for the godly life, to desert +me, when I love him and he loves me, in order to marry someone who has +a better worldly position, is that it?" Regina asked, leaning forward. +Her eyes were full of mirth. + +Miss Lanark felt horribly embarrassed. It is so difficult to keep +up the religious and the worldly line of argument side by side. She +hesitated and then said coldly: + +"A sister has to consider her brother's worldly interests as well as +the welfare of his soul, and if you would listen to your better nature, +and set him free by going away from him, both would benefit, I feel +sure." + +This was a little ambiguous, but Regina understood the "both" to refer +to Everest's soul and his worldly interests. She looked away to the +fire in silence; to her open, courageous nature, to her singleness +of mind, it seemed truly marvellous this straining after the cloak +of religion, this dragging of the mantle of piety round the grinning +skeleton of lust after riches and worldly good. + +Miss Lanark brought with her into this room, where Everest and she +had led such a frank, sincere and natural existence, just the same +atmosphere of falsity, of pretence, of humbug, that had pervaded the +Rectory. She could well understand how Everest had hated his home as +she had hated hers, and with this thought came the sweet recollection +of a phrase of his, uttered in one of their close embraces: + +"I have never known happiness till now." + +"Everest is perfectly free to leave me if he likes," she answered, +after a minute. "I should never stand in the way of his marrying or +doing anything he wishes, but while he is perfectly happy I am not +going to leave him and cause him distress and pain, nor am I going to +try to force him into a marriage with a commonplace woman, who I don't +believe could satisfy him." + +"Commonplace woman! A girl of that splendid family, with all that money +and a title!" + +"None of those things prevent her being commonplace," returned Regina +calmly. + +"You've never seen her, you don't know anything about her." + +"Yes; she came here one day for a few minutes, about some business." + +"You could not tell in that time what she was like." + +"I saw her and talked to her. I should be very stupid if I could not +tell then what sort of person she was." + +Miss Lanark rocked herself backwards and forwards in her chair in +silence. + +"To think of my brother," she moaned, after a pause, "with all his +wealth, his attainments, his opportunities, doing nothing with +them--living in sin, like this!" + +Regina leant back in her chair. + +"Everest is rather anxious to marry me," she remarked. "Would you like +that better, if he did?" + +Miss Lanark started and sat bolt upright: + +"_You! Marry you!_ A country rector's daughter, and an _artist_!" Had +she said "criminal" the accent could not have been more marked. "And +Everest! He could have anybody! There is not one girl in town who would +refuse him ... and then, to marry you!" + +"Still, he would not be living in sin, would he?" returned Regina, +nibbling the end of her paint-brush and looking across the red +firelight at her visitor, with a laugh in her great, lustrous eyes. + +Miss Lanark covered her face with her thin, beautifully gloved hands. + +"Oh, it is all horrible!--whether he marries you or lives with you.... +Cannot you go away and leave him to marry someone suitable, as he would +have done, but for you?" + +"You think for him to marry a woman he disliked, and perhaps hated, +would be better than to live with one he loves, without marriage?" + +"Oh _yes_!" replied Miss Lanark, so fervently that Regina sat silent, +thinking how truly "the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life," +marvelling at the distance away from the truth of their religion the +modern Christian has got. + +"Well, you see, I don't. I consider hate is a wrong and wicked thing in +itself, essentially evil; and I think wedded hate is a great deal worse +than unwedded love, so that I am afraid I cannot meet you in any way, +except by accepting Everest's proposal that we should marry each other, +but so far, for his sake, I have thought it better for him to be quite +free." + +Miss Lanark wiped her eyes and coughed, then she said hesitatingly: + +"Of course, if you would go, Everest is in a position to give you a +very good allowance indeed." She stopped weakly, her throat seemed to +dry at the words. + +Regina simply laughed, quietly, musically. Miss Lanark recognised what +a charm such a laugh would have for a man. + +"I don't think I am in need of an allowance from Everest, or anybody +else," she answered, glancing at the great picture, on which the red +light of the fire glowed softly, as if it would caress it. + +Just at that moment the door opened and Everest came in. Regina sprang +up and ran to meet him, as she was accustomed to do. They embraced and +kissed, quite oblivious of their visitor, whom Regina had, for the +moment, utterly forgotten, and Everest had not even seen, submerged as +she was in the depths of a velvet chair, with its back to the door. + +Regina remembered her after a minute. + +"Your sister is here," she whispered in his ear, as they came together +towards the fire. + +During their embrace by the door, Miss Lanark, who had never been +kissed by a man in her life, and who secretly felt great curiosity as +to what the dreadful sensation would be like, was sitting rigidly with +locked hands in her lap, gazing straight before her into the fire when +they approached. She was telling herself, inwardly, she hated people +making exhibitions of their feelings before others, but it was all like +the rest; just what she had expected: extravagance everywhere, and no +restraint of any kind. + +"How are you, Clara?" asked Everest, in not too pleased a tone. "I +didn't know you were in town." + +"No," returned Miss Lanark coldly. "I came yesterday on purpose to see +if various reports I had heard at home were true, and to call upon," +she hesitated, and then added, "this lady." + +Everest did not take up her speech in any way. + +"How did you get this address?" he said merely, taking the silk scarf +from his neck. Regina, watching his face, saw it grow dark with +annoyance. + +"I went to the studio, and they gave it me there," his sister rejoined, +rising. + +"You will stay and have some tea with us surely, now Everest has come +in," Regina said, with her hand on the bell, but Miss Lanark declined +stiffly. + +She felt she must get away from this distasteful place. The whole +atmosphere seemed to her hot with emotion, loving emotion, and +loving emotion meant wickedness. Had Miss Lanark wished to make a +representation of hell, she would certainly have drawn all the damned +souls kissing each other. To have depicted them murdering or robbing, +toasting or frying or torturing each other, would have seemed to be +delineating too trivial and insignificant offences, but if they were +represented as kissing! That would immediately explain why they were +there, and how fully they deserved it. + +She held out her hand to Regina. + +"I sincerely hope you will think over what I have said. We all of us +have to make sacrifices to duty." + +"Certainly," returned Regina, "One's duty towards others should be the +first thought in one's life." + +Her tone was calm, grave and beautiful; she voiced exactly what was +indeed the rule of her being. + +Miss Lanark felt as if someone had thrown cold water in her face. She +turned to the door in silence. + +"I suppose I shall see you before you go abroad this winter, Everest?" +she added to her brother. + +"Oh, no doubt--we sha'n't start till September," he rejoined, going to +the door to hold it open for her. + +Miss Lanark's thin cheek flushed at the word "we." So this beautiful, +warm-looking, kissing woman was going to be taken out with him! She +lifted her eyes at the door, and hers and her brother's met. + +His brows were quite calm, his forehead smooth, but his gaze met hers +with an iron determination in it. + +"You had better not interfere with my affairs," was what it plainly +said, and she went out, cold with anger and indignation. + +Everest came quickly over to the hearth. + +"What has that tiresome woman been saying?" he asked. + +Regina had resumed her seat, and was gazing into the fire. + +"Nothing, dearest, very particular. Only what I know already; that in a +worldly sense I am not good enough for you.... And she also seemed to +think if you married a rich woman it would be good for your soul, as +well as your prospects, though I can't follow her reasoning myself!" + +"Damned lot of hypocrites, all my people are!" remarked Everest in +answer; and then he thought of John Marlow and his letter of "profound +sorrow." "I suppose they are all like that, don't let's bother about +them! Give me some tea." + +The tea had been brought in, and Regina poured it out for him with +loving care over every detail. He took it from her, and they sat in +silence for a few minutes, rejoicing in being together again after some +hours' separation. + +Then Everest leant forward and said very earnestly: + +"I think, my darling, you had better marry me now, before we start +on the Egyptian tour. I want to take you up the Nile this winter, and +show you the Soudan. I was arranging about it to-day, my own dahabeeyah +is there, and I have given orders it's all to be refitted for you, by +September.... Then, later, we'll go into camp together, and do a little +lion-hunting, if you like.... But, you see, it's all rather risky work, +and I would like to know that we were married, and it was all straight +and square, so that if there were any accident to me you would be in a +good position." + +"If there were any accident to you, nothing would matter any more at +all," returned Regina, in a low tone; and Everest came over and knelt +by her low chair, putting both arms round the supple waist, that felt +so warm and soft in its smooth velvet casing. + +"Dear little girl, you are much too good to me. Nobody has ever loved +me as you do. I bought a rifle and a pistol for you to-day, and I am +having a gold plate with 'My Darling' engraved on it, put on both, +because you said you loved to hear me say that." + +"But, if we do go to the Soudan, you won't ask me to kill anything, +will you?" she asked, a look of startled apprehension in her eyes. "As +far as I am concerned, the animals are all my personal friends and +relations. They are one family with human beings. I do not think there +is any real difference. Life is uniform everywhere. Only in some forms +it has greater power and capacity than in others." + +"I shall not ask you to kill anything," returned Everest, smiling. "But +you must learn to shoot well, both with a pistol and rifle. It's quite +as necessary, more necessary, for a woman than a man. And you will be +a splendid shot, with your eye, that can see the deviation of a hair +in your painting. That feeling for the straight line must mean good +shooting. And our marriage? Come, now...." + +"If you continue perfectly happy with me, and other things ... are just +as we wish ... then I will marry you at Khartoum," replied Regina very +softly, a beautiful, crimson flush passing over her face, "but not +before...." And then she kissed him, and let her white fingers play +with his thick and glorious black hair, and Everest forgot what they +were talking about, forgot everything, except that where she was was +paradise, though Miss Lanark, as we know, had thought of another place +in connection with her brother's flat. + +Late that same night, lying in her white and silver bed, Regina thought +very seriously over things, her mind being very far from sleep. As +from the first, she only had the single desire to do the best for +Everest; and for many days now the question had haunted her mind: +what if Nature, by some evil fate, denied her after all the power of +maternity? She had heard and read that passionate, excitable natures +gifted mentally, and sensitive in mind and brain, were not the best +reproducers of their race. Nature cares for the type, the rule, and to +exceptional beings she denies sometimes the rights she allows to those +who are stolid, faithful models of the average. + +Regina felt her own wish went for nothing in the matter. On the +contrary, as in artistic creation, a great wish seems to war against +production. She thought of all the poor royal women who, through the +ages, had asked the common gift, and been denied! + +No; incredible as it seemed to her, considering all the health and +strength and love they both possessed, it still might be that she +would not be able to give him the one thing he had said he wished in +marriage. Then, if he was married to her, bound to her, it would be +impossible for him ever to realise his desire for an heir, ever to +dispose of his property as he wanted to. She, herself, could not free +him, except by her death, which would mean sorrow, or her desertion, +which would mean disgrace--for him. She, unfruitful, useless, would be +standing in the place of another woman, who possibly would have done +for him what she could not. + +The thought was so bitter she clenched her hands as it came to her. +No, she would leave him free, until at least she was sure she had the +capacity for motherhood. + +Even then she might not bear a son, but that was a risk she must take, +and every other woman equally with her, since conventional law makes it +necessary that marriage must precede the birth of the child for it to +be legitimate. That, she could not help, no means of hers could avoid +that risk for him. But no other would she allow, for her own advantage. +Truly and really, she kept to her duty, as she had announced it to Miss +Lanark. + +And wearied out at last, by much thought for the dear, unconscious one +beside her she too, at last, fell asleep. + +The next day the rifle and the pistol were sent home, and Everest +explained to her carefully all the properties and powers of the +death-dealing objects. She listened to it all most attentively: + +"This is the best part about them, I think," she said, when he had +finished, and bent over the "My Darling" engraved upon them, and kissed +it. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +WITH THE GREAT RIVER + + +The Nile lay, gleaming exquisitely lilac, between its banks of golden +sand, calm and smooth, with a soft sheen upon its surface, it moved +forward as molten glass, without a ripple, without a murmur, in the +stillness of the sunset hour. The palms on Elephantine Island held +their feathery foliage without movement against the rosy violet of the +glowing sky. The burnished sand, unruffled by any breeze, stretched +level and even on every side, each grain of it seeming to glitter and +sparkle with tawny and deep orange hues, as if some Emperor had had a +carpet of jewels, of topaz and yellow amethyst unrolled along the river +banks, flashing and shining under the red-gold fire of the sun rays. + +Not a sound jarred upon the stillness; from the gold tips of the palms +to the glow on the dreaming river all was wrapped in an infinite peace. + +Some little distance from the island, motionless, with its sails +hanging like curtains of gold and lilac silk in the evening light, lay +the dahabeeyah of the Lanarks, and on its deck Everest and Regina were +sitting side by side, in long cane chairs, watching the lustre of the +western sky. + +They had joined the dahabeeyah at Cairo, and, with its steam tug to +pull them up, it had not taken them long to get as far as this on their +way. + +The boat was a thing of beauty; all fitted in purple and silver. It was +named _The Empress_, in honour of Regina, and was well worthy of its +name. When the girl went through it she felt, for the first time, a +rejoicing in Everest's wealth, since it gave him the power to provide +such a setting for their love. As she entered the sleeping saloon, +large and spacious as any room on land, and her eyes fell on the bed +at one side, with its purple velvet curtains, lined with mauve satin, +her feet faltered. She turned aside and, leaning her hand on the window +sill, looked down into the pale green waters below. + +Her relations with Everest were still too new to her, and all the +emotions that filled them too intense, for her to be able to look upon +the room they were to occupy together with indifference. + +Beyond the sleeping saloon, which occupied the whole width of the +boat, thus obtaining a very wide and gracious form, came two small +dressing-rooms and bathrooms, and beyond these, a covered topped +space, with open sides, a verandah, as it were, in which to sit idly, +contemplating the changing view of the river sides. + +It was here they were sitting now, absorbed in that wonder of light and +colour that makes Egypt's peculiar beauty. + +At the extreme other end lay the kitchen and the servants' quarters, +next came an anteroom and hall, where one first boarded the boat. +From this, one passed to the spacious dining-room, thence to the +drawing-room, and so on to the sleeping saloon. Over all the fore +part stretched the upper deck, with a smooth, polished floor, where, +before leaving Cairo, they had given a dance, and cool, white canvas +overhead, forming the roof. Inside the whole was hung with pale mauve +satin; and divans of wonderful depth and softness, inviting to slumber +in the long, hot afternoons, lined the sides. + +Here, in the still, moonlight evenings, with the canvas sides of the +awning rolled up and their steam tug pulling them swiftly upstream +against the ripple and the light, floating airs of the Nile, Everest +would lie, while she played to him, or they would sit together, +watching the golden sand--golden to deep orange, even in the +moonlight--of the banks speed past them. It had been so far a dream +of enchantment, their life on board that boat. Day by day, and night +by night, this floating up and up the magical, golden river, between +ever-changing vistas of loveliness, of palm grove and date plantations, +of rose and azure-tinted hills, of deep green bands of the cultivated +fields, of burnished stretches of glittering desert, brought to the +girl's mind sometimes a sense of unreality. + +"One never is so perfectly happy in one's life, for long," she often +thought. "The gods must begin to envy me soon, as the Greeks would say, +and strike me down." And she clung to every jewelled hour, as sometimes +in those rare dreams of perfect happiness that visit the human brain +the dreamer clings to his sleep, and fears the moment of his awakening, +which he is dimly conscious is approaching. + +But, so far, no blow had fallen on the girl, each day came to her like +a messenger loaded with new gifts. Time was her ally, and every morning +the huge mirror, between its velvet hangings, showed her a face that +grew more lovely, a form that grew more perfect, as it developed, +flower-like, in this atmosphere, mental and physical, of warmth and +light; and though, in reality, Everest's feet were already on that cold +bridge that leads from youth to age, no trace yet of that awful, slow +destruction of the human frame could be detected in the lithe, active +body, nor in the clear-skinned, handsome face. The tremendous energy +that filled them both prevented any day seeming one moment too long for +them: its twenty-four hours barely sufficed them for what they wanted +to do in it. + +Everest knew Egypt well, as he did Nubia, the Soudan, Abyssinia and +much of the heart of Africa, but he took an immense interest in +Regina's initiation and education. She was so well worth teaching! She +loved learning so much, and learnt so easily and rapidly! A good part +of their mornings were given up to the study of Arabic, which Everest +spoke perfectly himself. One of the girl's great joys was to hear him +talk when the Arab sheiks or other native visitors came to see them on +their boat, and she longed eagerly for the time when she would converse +easily with them, as he did. Then she must learn to ride perfectly and +easily anything that might be necessary at any moment, camel, horse or +donkey, and the dahabeeyah was stopped by his orders for many days, +at the most interesting spots, so that they might take long rides +together. And these camel races over limitless tracts of desert sand! +what a source of wildest joy and elation they were to her. + +Everest would have the boat pulled up by some large native village or +settlement, and send his servants on shore to scour it for camels. + +When some good-looking beast had been found, and sent up, he would go +himself, and personally examine it. Every cloth and covering would +be stripped from the camel by his orders, and then its condition and +skin carefully examined. The least sore or any pain-giving defect +caused rejection. He would only hire for his amusement animals that +could give it to him without distress. Finally, when two camels were +eventually selected, they were given food and water under his personal +supervision, and then left to rest in sheltered repose till the next +day. Under these circumstances, the camels on the following morning +were ready and fit and willing to go any distance, and those long +flying, swinging rides that she and Everest took together were a source +of great delight to Regina, delight greatly heightened by Everest's +care of the beasts themselves. + +"I hate to hear a camel cry," he replied once to her eager praise. "I +know them so well--they are so good and gentle and patient and when +they scream as they do it means they are in terrible suffering." + +And all his camels ever did was to gurgle with pleasure, whenever he +approached them. He seemed to possess a magnetic power over animals, +to speak to them in their own language. They never resisted him, nor +resented anything he did. They seemed to have an instinctive belief in +his knowledge of their troubles and requirements. And no trait in a +man could have bound Regina so closely to him as this did; no quality +evoked a greater admiration. + +In their journey up the Nile, in their excursions into the desert, +they were often brought face to face with animal distress, caused by +the wanton cruelty or carelessness of the Arabs, or the still more +shameless callousness of the British tourist. + +One morning they had been roused at daybreak by a piercing scream +from a camel on the bank, and both had hurried ashore, to find a +group of Arabs and one irate Englishman standing round a camel, +that was kneeling on the ground and resisted all persuasions of +the camel-driver's goad and the Britisher's boot to get up. It was +screaming, crying and groaning by turns, appealing in every way it +could to the pitiless crowd for help and mercy. Regina was white and +trembling with sympathy, Everest unmoved outwardly, and determined, +when they broke into the circle. + +"Here, this tiresome beast won't get up," remarked the tourist. "At +this rate I sha'n't get out and back before noon." + +"It has a wound or a sore probably under the girth, which hurts when it +rises," suggested Everest. + +"I don't care what the devil's the matter with it," returned the other +savagely, "as long as it'll get up and let me get on to it." + +"Then you ought to care," replied Everest sternly; "it's people like +you who encourage the camel-drivers to be cruel." And he added in +Arabic: "Stand back, all of you!" + +The crowd, impressed by the commanding figure and the set gravity of +the face, all fell back, except the driver, who edged up behind him, +and pulled at his sleeve. + +"Don't you go near that camel, mister; he very dangerous beast, very +savage; bad camel that, he bite." + +Everest turned upon him, and said, as before, in Arabic: + +"Stand back. Keep away from the camel." + +The man fell back, and Everest went forward quite alone to the +complaining beast, who on seeing him approach, and fearing some new +form of torture from a fresh enemy, burst into a fresh series of its +anguished cries. When he was a little distance from it, Everest stopped +and began to talk to it in Arabic, in low caressing tones, and all the +crowd stood silent, wide-eyed and staring, and Regina watched him, her +heart beating and swelling with love and delight in him. After a few +moments the camel's shrieks fell to moans and groans, and finally to +silence. It turned its intelligent head this way and that, listening +intently to the soft Arabic words of encouragement and sympathy. When +it was quite silent, Everest drew near to it, and knelt down, putting +his hand gently on the saddle girth, when the creature winced and +moaned. It swung its head round towards him, but did not offer to +bite, and Everest talked to it again, while his strong, supple fingers +worked at the unfastening of the girth. It was difficult to get at, +owing to the animal's position, but with infinite patience and calm he +accomplished it, the camel watching him and listening to his voice all +the time. As the girth was loosened, some blood splashed out on his +hand and cuff, and as he drew the band aside a wound, in which a man +might lay his closed fist, was revealed. The camel winced and moaned +a little, but seemingly breathed more easily when the tight band was +loosened. + +"Now you can get up," Everest said, exactly as he would have done to +a human being, and the camel, groaning slightly, but otherwise not +protesting, rose to its feet, while the blood trickled slowly down its +foreleg from the wound. Everest stroked and caressed its neck as it +stood beside him, and then turned upon the driver. + +Regina heard him, in an unbroken flow of Arabic, which she could only +partially follow, abuse the man for using an animal in that state, and +threaten him with every kind of punishment if he persisted in hiring +out that or any other camel in a similar condition. + +The man, not knowing in the least who this magnificent and +authoritative person might be, turned all colours, and vowed and +protested complete and absolute submission, and said he had another +camel, only it was worth eight shillings a day, and the English mister +had said he couldn't give more than six, so he wouldn't give him his +best camel, but now indeed he would, if this great lord would spare his +life and possessions. The scene ended by Everest taking the man's name +and address down in his note-book, and ordering the camel to be led off +by his own servants to have its wound dressed. + +When he looked round for the British tourist he had vanished, and some +hours late Everest and Regina returned to their boat for breakfast. +Such and similar incidents were not uncommon, and each of them seemed +to send a gold barb down deep into her heart, pinning fast into her +consciousness a memory that could never be torn out. + +And gradually, though she had never thought of or wished for children, +she delighted in the idea now of bearing them to this man. If she could +produce beings with his beauty, grace, strength and intellect, and that +dear character of his, and give them to the world, that was a work, +after all, worth doing; and hopes, like fairies, came to her now, from +day to day, and ideas and thoughts that became almost a conviction, but +she said nothing of it. She would wait till she was quite sure. There +was plenty of time. + +And besides the riding of every kind in the desert, there was the +shooting. Everest was so anxious she should shoot well and easily, and +two or three times in the week they would go out to distant sandbanks +or hill ridges, where they could practise in safety. All kinds of +marks and distances were arranged for her: moving objects running on +a string, held by servants, and balls thrown into the air gave her +quickness and dexterity, with both rifle and pistol. + +The days when there was no shooting practice there was the painting, +and they sat side by side on the cool upper deck, with the curtains +rolled up on some enchanting prospect, each absorbed in giving it +duplicate life upon the canvas. + +And when the painting tired there was the playing, that they both +loved, and so the happy, busy days flew by, each filled to the brim +and overflowing with work and exercise, artistic creation and love. +Deliciously tired with accomplishment, they fell into each other's +arms at night, while the boat glided on by moonlight, to fresh scenes, +where the dawn would break. + +Now, as they sat in the sunset hour, watching the light fall over the +desert, Regina's thoughts swept back over all the days and nights +of that glorious, golden month, and she felt almost afraid of the +perfection of her happiness. + +"That man is late with the post," remarked Everest, looking at his +watch. "Didn't we send him ashore at six?" + +"I'm not in a hurry for letters," answered Regina. "Nothing could make +me more happy than I am, anything might make me less!" + +Everest laughed, and continued a little sketch of a lonely palm he was +making in his note-book, and just then the Arab messenger, with the +mail bag, came on to the verandah and saluted them. + +There was an immense number of letters as usual for Everest. He opened +most of them with indifference, read and laid them down, without +comment. + +There were a few for Regina, which she left on the table, unopened. +She did not wish to miss the transient glory of the sunset. And, as +she said, there was nothing, nothing, nothing, that she wanted in this +world. + +"What a confounded bore!" exclaimed Everest suddenly over a letter. +"Sybil and her brother are coming out, and want to join our camp.... +Isn't that tiresome?" + +Regina went suddenly cold in the warm and roseate air. + +"Oh, Everest, I am sorry!" + +"A girl like that! So utterly unfit for camp life!" he went on. "It's +such a responsibility, and that ass of a brother of hers is such a bore +too." + +"Can't you wire to them that you don't want them?" + +Everest laughed his amused, easy laugh. + +"Well, it's a little awkward! Besides, it won't make much difference to +Miss Sybil if she intends to come." + +Regina rose with a swift, sudden movement from her chair, and came +over to his. Her face looked white in the warm light, her mouth had a +resolution in its lines that Everest had never seen before. + +"You have been perfectly content and happy all this time, haven't you?" +she asked. "You don't want or need anybody else? You have no personal +wish that these people should come?" + +"Not a bit," he answered, looking up at her with a smile. "I think they +would be a great bore. We are absolutely happy alone, and so we shall +be in camp. We don't want anybody." + +"Then wire you won't have them: that they can't come." She spoke with +unusual decision for her, in talking with him. Generally it was her +pleasure to give way to him in everything. In fact she cared about +nothing so long as he was pleased. But now, this was important: there +was danger ahead to her happiness, and she rose to defend it, as a +lioness to defend her cub. + +"I think this is the first thing I have asked of you," she added, as he +hesitated: "to send this wire." + +Everest clasped both his arms round the slim, supple waist, as she +stood by him. + +"My sweet, of course I will send one if you wish. You write out just +what you would suggest, and I'll give it to Salah to take now." + +Regina bent down and kissed him on the thick waves of his black hair, +with a swift, passionate enthusiasm. + +"Thank you so much," she murmured. Then she went into the body of the +boat, behind them, and wrote out the wire: + + + "Regret your suggestion to join our camp quite impossible. Many + reasons.--EVEREST." + + +"Will that do?" she asked, bringing it back, and showing it to him. + +"First rate," he answered, and the telegram was sent. + +No response of any kind came to the wire, either by letter or telegram, +and the Lanarks continued their dreaming, lingering journey up to Wady +Halfa by boat, undisturbed, and thence by train across the desert to +Khartoum. + +They arrived there one burning midday, when the sun seemed a blazing +disk of fire against a burnished copper sky, and went to the hotel +to rest. All their staff of servants and camp equipment had already +arrived and were awaiting them. They had a large, cool-looking room +assigned to them on the ground floor. Its three lofty windows were +tightly closed by green, wooden shutters, made like a rigid Venetian +blind, and nothing of the heat and glare of the outside was visible, +except the blinding bars of light between the slats. The room was full +of green light, and a matting crackled under their feet on the floor. +A large white mosquito net hung round the bed. Above it, in a corner of +the rafters that supported the ceiling, a sparrow had built its nest, +and long trails of grass and straw hung down the wall. + +Outside one heard the peculiar cry of the wood, as an Egyptian +water-wheel was slowly revolved in the garden. + +Regina looked round with delight, as she and Everest entered together +and closed the door. Somehow the spirit of the East was in the room, +and it took her to itself and enfolded her, and she knew for the first +time that peculiar joy and elation that the East can give to those who +are sensitive to its magic breath. + +They were tired after the three and a half days' journey in the +vibrating train, and lay down under the mosquito net, and slept +peacefully away the hot, sun-scorched afternoon. + +It was time to dress for dinner when they awoke, and the cool sunset +air was filling the room. + +Regina opened the long green shutters of one window, and gave an +exclamation of delight as she looked out into the paradise of palms +beyond. How cool, how deliciously green it was, and how delicately each +branch of the palm-trees outlined itself in gold against the brilliant, +gleaming sky! A hedge, a beautiful wall of pomegranate, was just below +the window ledge. She could put her hands down amongst its glowing, +vivid, scarlet flowers, and, beyond, the whole garden was a mass of +white roses, threaded everywhere by little sandy paths, beneath the +palms. She turned from the window at last, with regret, and began to +dress. They were both nearly ready when someone knocked at the door, +and as Everest opened it one of the hotel servants handed him a card. + +He took it back into the room and read it: + +"Damn!" was all he said, as he laid it down. + +Regina looked at him, her heart beating. He dismissed the servant and +closed the door. Then he came over to the girl, who was fastening her +pearls round her neck, before the mirror. She turned to face him. She +saw he was very much annoyed. + +"This is Merton's card," he said; "he is here in the hotel, and his +sister too. Now," he added, as Regina sank down on a chair by her, with +an expression of distress on her face, "you sent the telegram, as you +wished, from Assuan, and, as I told you, it has made no difference. +These people are here, and doubtless want to join us. I must ask you +not to press me to be discourteous to them in any way." + +Regina looked up at him, as he stood before her, the card in his +hand, and her eyes swam suddenly with tears. She always admired him, +particularly in his evening dress, and at this moment, pale from the +heat, fresh and calm after his long sleep, his face looked extremely +handsome. But it seemed to her that never before had he spoken so +coldly to her, so sternly, as if she had already been guilty of some +act he disapproved. Lost in that great tide of love she had for him, +utterly helpless to oppose him in any way, as any human being becomes +once the chains of passion are bound round him, the girl clasped her +hands together on her breast, and merely faltered, while the tears she +could not hold back, slipped down her cheeks: + +"Certainly.... Of course you must do just as you wish about them." + +Everest stooped down and kissed her. + +"My darling, there is no need to cry about it. They can't do us +any harm. If they join camp with us for a time, we can go on alone +afterwards. I don't think it's wise or right to quarrel with them and +make enemies of them." + +After what he had said, and the tone and manner in which he had +spoken, the girl felt it would be unwise to urge anything in dissent +or opposition. She bent her head over his hands, and kissed them in +silence, and Everest took Merton's card and tore it into shreds, as if +he felt he would like to wring the owner's neck, and threw them into +the grate. + +Meanwhile, in two other rooms, on the opposite side of the hotel, Sybil +and her brother were also dressing for dinner. She was in her room, +and through the open communicating door she heard her brother ask the +servant, when he returned from the Lanarks' room, what the recipient +had said on getting his card. + +"The gentleman only said 'Damn' sir," returned the man impassively. + +Sybil heard this answer in her room, and she looked into the mirror +opposite her and laughed. + +When the Lanarks came down from their room the head waiter met them at +the foot of the stairs. + +"Mr. Graham said, sir, he was sure you'd like to dine with his party, +so I reserved a table for six, in the window, for you all together." + +Regina saw Everest knit his brows, but he only nodded and said: + +"Where are the Grahams now?" And, on being told they were in the little +saloon, moved in that direction. + +"We had better go there and get the introductions over," he said to +her, and she assented. + +The saloon was fairly full of guests when they entered, but Regina's +eyes found at once the tiny and beautiful figure of the girl who had +called at her flat. She was exquisitely dressed now in white satin, +covered with lace, and embroidered all over with pearls. Her ivory arms +and shoulders were bare, her golden head bound round with pearls. She +came forward at once, with her hand outstretched, when she caught sight +of Everest, and Regina thought what a delicate, fairy-like vision of +beauty she looked. + +"Oh, Everest, I am so glad to see you! And now you'll introduce me to +your wife, won't you? It was so horrid of you to carry her off up the +Nile, just like a brigand with his captive!" + +She spoke charmingly, and smiled at Regina, who saw instantly the +line she was going to take. She was going to assume that Regina was +Everest's wife, for her own purposes, because, otherwise, she could +hardly have associated with her; but Regina guessed that she was +convinced they were not married, and that Everest was still obtainable +for herself. She saw, too, the girl did not mean to allude to the visit +to the flat. Regina did not feel sure whether she really recognised her +or not. At any rate it was evidently her cue to meet her as a stranger. + +Everest presented Regina to both his cousins, and Regina bowed in +silence. + +The Honourable Merton Graham was tall and thin and fair, like his +sister, without possessing her beauty. He looked hard at Regina, as +he was introduced, and said he was so glad to meet her; to which she +responded only with a smile. There were two other men with the Grahams, +and they were in turn presented. One, a middle-aged man, with rather a +pleasant face, was introduced to her by Graham as Surgeon-Doctor James. + +"Not one of the modern school, who are mad on operations and +mutilations, and long to divide you into pieces as soon as they look at +you," he added, laughing, "but really quite a kind, respectable person." + +And as Regina looked at him, and smiled, she felt that he deserved this +description, and for reasons of her own she was not wholly displeased +that a doctor would be with them if they were going to stay a long time +in camp. + +The fourth man of their party was presented as Colonel St John, who had +a good record of big-game shooting in India, and he favoured Regina +with a long, admiring stare. She looked very well this evening, in +a gown of palest green that Everest had chosen for and given her. A +circle of great pearls enclosed her throat, and she had set two pearl +and emerald stars in her soft, shining hair. She had no need to feel +envy of the new-comer, and did not. She only felt cold dislike and fear. + +She saw that the girl had come out, as it were, armed to the teeth, +and in face of all obstacles, to fight with her for the possession of +Everest, and that the desire for the man was intense enough to make her +risk all dangers, and accept a life for which she was totally unfitted, +and which she must hate. To gain her end she was willing to risk +spoiling her beauty, injuring her health, possibly even giving up her +life. Not an adversary to be considered lightly. + +As soon as the introductions were over they went in to dinner. Everest +took his cousin in first, then Graham and Regina followed, and the +doctor with Colonel St John came in last. Regina watched Everest and +the tiny, exquisite, white-clothed figure precede her, with a curious +feeling. It was the first time she had seen him with another woman, +except her own sisters at the Rectory, and she noticed directly that +the calm of absolute indifference which had characterised his bearing +then with them was absent here. He seemed pleased, animated, as he bent +over and talked with her. Regina could see the wonderfully exquisite +profile of the girl as she turned her face up to him, and could feel +the admiration in Everest's gaze as he looked down upon her. He did +evidently admire her, and, in fact, it would be hard for anyone to do +anything else. Regina divined what was the actual fact, that his cousin +did possess for Everest a charm and fascination nearly irresistible +when she was with him, and not wishing to be conquered by it he had +kept away from her. + +What would be the result now of this continual contact that the girl +had chosen--wisely enough if she wanted him--to force upon him? +Regina's ears seemed ringing with this question as she took her place +at the table opposite the two; the dazzling beauty of all the delicate +ivory carving, which yet was not ivory but white, pale-tinted flesh, +seemed for a moment to swim before her eyes. Her heart seemed to +contract and grow cold as her brain formed the pitiless answer--victory +for the woman. With her learning, her knowledge and her intuition it +was impossible for her to believe that a man already attracted towards +it could withstand the siege of beauty like this daily, hourly, beside +him, asking only to be taken, conquered and enjoyed. + +A calmness, like the calmness in the face of death, came over her, and +it showed how true to herself and her own nature she was that the first +thought which came to her in that calm was not "What a pity I did not +marry him before," as ten thousand other women would have said in such +a moment, but "How fortunate that we are not married, that he is free, +quite free, to do just as he wishes." + +And she gazed at Everest's dark, brilliant face, all light and smiles, +across the glass and flowers, and heard his talk and laughter as a man +on trial for his life may gaze at the judge opposite him who holds the +balance of his existence in his hands. + +All this time Graham and St John were talking to her and courses being +set before her. It seemed a very long dinner, but at last the dessert +was brought, which she refused, and sat idly with her hands in her lap, +listening to the discussions of the future camp which now circulated +round her, and in which both Graham and St John took an active part, +thus leaving her in peace. + +The incoming party of four wished the camp to be in common, and all +expenses shared equally between them all, but Everest was quite firm +and determined on the point that they should come as his guests, and on +no other footing, if they joined camp with him at all. + +"I am much too selfish," he declared, with his easy laugh, "to be in +a camp where there are four masters, to say nothing of two queens. If +I am host I get things my own way, and make all the arrangements, and +give all the orders that suit me. I shall be delighted if you like to +join my camp as guests, but it would be quite impossible for me to camp +under any other conditions." + +A silence fell on the table, and to Regina her heart seemed to cease +beating while she waited for it to be decided. Oh, how she hoped they +would refuse. The men would have done so, she was sure, but Sybil threw +a decided glance across to Merton and said simply: + +"Thank you, Everest, so much. Of course we will come. You are always a +delightful host." + +Graham said nothing, but looked at his plate. The other men being +merely guests of the Grahams could say nothing. + +Regina's face was pale and Everest's clouded when they all rose from +the table. + +"We have a splendid outfit for ourselves," Sybil continued, as they +moved together to the door. "We sha'n't poach on any of your preserves. +We have tents, servants, furniture, everything. They are all out at the +oasis. I found out where you'd sent yours, and, as I knew you'd like us +to join you, I had all ours sent there too." + +Everest's face did not grow any more pleased looking at this statement. + +"You did not have my wire, I suppose?" he asked, as they passed into +the hall. + +"What wire?" inquired Sybil, with an innocent expression. + +"I don't know that it matters if you didn't get it," he answered. "You +had none at all from me?" His eyes were on her face and she coloured +slightly as she shook her head. + +"No, Everest; I have not heard from you since you left England." + +Everest made no further remark and they joined the others on the +terrace outside for coffee. + +Regina stepped out into the hot, lustrous night with a feeling of joy. +Khartoum was beautiful, she thought, with its waving palms lifting +their feathery tops towards the purple sky, which seemed to beat and +pulsate, so thickly studded over it were the palpitating stars, and +down there just at the end of the garden were the dark waters of the +Nile. + +She wished so much she could have remained with Everest alone; how they +would have sat here together, drinking in the warm bauble-scented air, +listening to the curious cry of the water-wheel, watching the stars +flash and wheel suddenly in a great arc of light across the purple sky. + +She sat silent, looking away from all the others into the mystery of +the tropic night. The men were talking together. + +Sybil leant back in her chair; where a ray of light from the saloon +window struck on her golden head and gleamed on her satin and pearls. + +Regina heard it being arranged that they were all to go over early next +morning to the camp on a preliminary visit to see if all were ready and +in order, the real start up the White Nile to be made on the following +day. + +"We had better go to bed now," Everest said, rising, "We must start as +soon as it's light: it's so painfully hot and burning here after ten." + +They all rose, and St John and the doctor went into the bar to get +just one more liqueur before turning in. The Grahams paused, saying +good-night and Merton added to Everest: + +"I was sorry not to send you a reply to your wire, but Sybil didn't +want to; she said it would be all right when we got here." + +Everest made no answer whatever. A silence that seemed thick in its +intensity followed, and then Sybil broke into a laugh. She knew already +that Everest had no admiration for her character, no confidence in +her word. She was not relying on those things, or this speech of her +brother's would have been a serious matter. She relied solely on the +perfect lines of her face, and these were the same whether she lied or +otherwise. + +"I am sorry Merton has been so injudicious as to tell you the truth," +she said lightly. "It's such a stupid habit of his. I am always trying +to correct him. We got your wire, of course, but I knew you wouldn't +mind when we were really here." + +Everest looked down upon her in the ray of gold light. + +"Brothers and sisters should agree, especially about the lies they +are going to tell," he answered, laughing too. "Good-night," and he +stepped into the saloon, holding wide the door for Regina, and they +both went up to their room. + +As soon as they were inside, and the door locked, he came up to her and +drew her into his arms. She was a beautiful vision in her pale silk, +with her soft waving hair and the pearls gleaming on her firm stainless +breast. + +"I can't tell you how sorry I am about all this, because it delays our +marriage," he said, in a low tone of passionate annoyance; "we can't +simply do anything now about it, can we?" + +"Oh no; certainly not," she replied impulsively, "and--and I could not +marry you now--just yet--before----" She could not finish her sentence. +She burst into tears, the advent of these others was so hateful to her, +she was so disappointed and excited and strained, she lost control of +herself for the moment and bent her face down sobbing on his arm. He +stroked all the rich, lustrous hair gently. + +"Sweetest, nothing matters; I don't care about anything except for the +pleasure of knowing you belong to me and of giving you any advantage +that there is in marriage. But now you see we can't call these +people to witness that we've been together all this time without it. +Unconventional as I am supposed to be, nobody would stand that, and +it would be so unsatisfactory for you afterwards. We could not marry +quietly here now--Sybil would be sure to find out." + +Regina's tears had ceased: she looked up. + +"Don't think of it," she said simply. "For the present it is out of the +question." + +She disengaged herself from his clasp and sank into an arm-chair, her +handkerchief pressed to her lips. She was white and trembling, her +limbs hardly seemed able to support her. + +It was quite possible their marriage would never be now, but that was +not oppressing her, the iron fetters of a legal tie that bound him +unwilling, unloving, unhappy to her, what would they be to her, who +longed after his love and desire and pleasure in her? If these were +hers, she wanted nothing else, if they were not hers, nothing else +would console her. + +Everest stood by the bed, mechanically winding up his watch. + +"I know you are sorry at their joining us," he said, after a minute. +"But I think if I had absolutely refused, it would have been such a +slight to Sybil she would never have forgiven either of us. She is my +next neighbour, our lands touch each other, and it would be a pity, for +your sake, to have her as an enemy." + +"I am only afraid at the end of our camping together she will be more +of an enemy than you would make her now by refusing to take her." + +"Why should you think so?" he answered, looking over to her. + +Regina was silent. It did not seem wise to tell him that Sybil was +doing all merely to win him for herself, and that nothing short of that +would content her, and that her failure would inevitably embitter her +for life. The incense to a man's vanity is so often in itself such an +attraction towards a woman. + +Perhaps the camping might be short; Sybil might find it impossible to +stand the rough life; anything might occur to break it up. It could do +no good in any case for her to put before Everest's eyes in glowing +colour this girl's passion for himself. + +"It's difficult to say exactly, but you know how people generally +disagree and all grow to hate each other on these expeditions." + +"Well, we must try to be as amicable as we can," returned Everest, +smiling. "I know Regina will be, to please me." + +And Regina, looking at him, knew that she must indeed do as he wished, +that his will was absolute law to her, by reason of that magic power he +had to make her happy or unhappy by his glance. Man's prayer throughout +the ages to beauty has always been: "Be what you will, act as you will, +only give me the privilege of looking at and loving you." + +In the early dawn the whole party assembled and started out for the +camp. The sky was still softly grey, the air light, almost cool. The +gay, wonderful, joyous river rolled blue and clear between its banks +covered by lovely feathered throngs, drinking and spreading out their +multi-coloured wings to the early light. The palms tossed their swaying +branches in the little breeze that comes before the sun. + +They rode out on three camels with their guides, and Regina felt her +spirits rise as the cool current of air off the river struck her +forehead, lifting the waving curls beneath her wide-brimmed hat. She +looked wonderfully well this morning, and all the three men looked at +her with admiration as she sat behind Everest on the saddle-cloth. + +It was certainly a very fine encampment when they came up to it; they +saw that the servants had set up all the tents and got everything in +working order. There were six white tents in all, and innumerable +smaller ones for the kitchens and servants. Everest had arranged a +large wall tent for their sleeping-room, and another square one for +the dining and living room, and a smaller one for the keeping of the +game, heads, skins, etc. To these the Grahams had added a tent each for +Merton and his sister, another larger one being shared by St John and +the doctor. There was a scent of coffee in the air as they approached, +and one of Everest's servants opened the dining tent door with an air +of unmistakable pride and confidence, revealing within a well-set and +most inviting-looking breakfast. + +They all trooped in, and Regina was appointed to the head of the +table and to pour out the coffee. Sybil overnight had had a long and +earnest talk with young Graham, and the result of this was that all +present now accepted and deferred to Regina and Everest absolutely +as host and hostess. Sybil knew her cousin's character pretty well, +and she saw that the one condition he had made of their joining them +must be carried out to the letter. She would give him no excuse for +withdrawing his invitation. Regina felt happy at the breakfast. There +was excitement in going out into the savage desert, just their own +little party, alone, to meet lions and unknown and mysterious dangers. +This was life, movement anyway, it was not the slow death that was +consuming her sisters at the English Rectory. There would be room for +courage, for energy, for endurance here, and she loved action. She felt +like a strong young swimmer breasting the first turbulent, incoming +wave as he leaves the shore. + +Everyone praised the breakfast, and the cook was called in, beaming, to +the tent and congratulated. + +Then Everest and the other men went off to the gun tent to look up maps +and plans and decide their route, the question of the servants they +should take, the pack animals, the chance of native villages along the +Nile where fresh provisions could be got, and all the hundred other +things appertaining to camp life; and Regina, not caring for Sybil's +society alone, went over to the sleeping tent and walked round it, +admiring the beautiful camp furniture. Everest had provided everything +so perfectly folding, collapsible and adjustable. Here a camp sofa, +low and light yet steady, and there a folding breakfast-table fully +equipped with tiny silvery kettles and cups and everything necessary +for their early tea or coffee, that they would have here alone. And +he had been so thoughtful for her too. There were a couple of new +dust-proof trunks with perfect lids and locks that she might pack all +her personal things in conveniently and be sure they would not be hurt, +and quite a large mirror, because he knew she hated to be without one, +with a wood flap to cover its face in travelling. She sat down at last +in a folding-chair in the centre, and looked round, supremely content +with her future residence. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +THE LIONS OF THE DESERT + + +Against the blinding brazen glare of the African sky the green tops of +the palms of the oasis of Tel-el-kelb waved gratefully and threw their +precious shade over the white tents clustered at their feet. It was +high noon and the heat, here, away from the magic breeze that is always +found on the Nile, was intense. + +It was a large encampment altogether, the low brown canvas tents at the +back, far in the grove of palms, indicating the servants' quarters, +the higher and larger white ones, grouped together more towards the +edge of the trees, showed European comfort in the midst of their severe +simplicity. + +At the door of the largest white tent sat Regina, looking out with her +clear blue eyes, gazing from the wavering shadow of the palms far into +the sunlit distances of the desert that stretched away in limitless +tawny ripples to the far horizon, broken here and there by exquisite +shallow lakes of azure surrounded by black rocks and stunted trees +which mirrored themselves in the shining water. + +Ah, those lakes!--those wonderful lakes of the desert, which, when one +walks towards them, vanish utterly, and on the spot where they have +been--shining water, rocks and trees--looks up to mock one only the +glittering yellow sand. The mirage of the desert, how wonderful it is. +It had for Regina a fascination, a magnetic influence upon her that +she could neither explain nor resist. It seemed she could never tire +of gazing out on those magic shining phantom waters of the waste. She +looked very pale as she sat there, her chin leaning on her hand, her +elbow on her knee, across which rested the deadly little rifle. She +wore a short brown canvas skirt reaching only to her knees; below the +beautifully moulded calves and ankles were encased in brown gaiters +fitting tightly over the tops of her neat, low-heeled boots. A loose +blouse of the same colour was drawn in tightly by the heavy belt full +of cartridges that enclosed her waist. She was wearing no hat and the +yellow light flung up from the sanded floor turned her hair into soft +gold above the pallor of her face. + +A month, she was thinking, had gone by since Sybil had joined them, and +they had all gone into camp. And how she had suffered in those thirty +days! A little at first and then more and more with each day that +passed, a long and terrible _crescendo_, as it were, of suffering. + +The girl had come out, as Regina had thought, and as she now knew, with +the deliberate intention of taking Everest away from her, and she had +pursued this plan with a callousness and an ingenuity that was simply +inconceivable. The extreme cleverness of all her tactics seemed to +Regina wonderful in a person who, outside this one idea, appeared to +have absolutely no brains at all. + +The main feature of her scheme was an excessive amiability towards +Regina, nothing could exceed her apparent admiration, affection and +respect for her. And by this attitude, from the first, she completely +disarmed Everest, as Regina recognised with a deep pain in her heart. +Clever and keen as he usually was in penetrating most people's masks +and shams, and understanding their real motives and feelings, he seemed +to be completely deceived by this girl's clever acting. It was so well +done, never overdone, but always perfectly even, natural and genuine, +that Regina, to a certain extent, understood this. Any man, lacking as +he does the keen female intuitive instinct about these things, would +have been deceived in the same way. It was always "What would Mrs. +Lanark like?" when any expedition was proposed, anything suggested, and +a charming turn of the golden head with a world of affectionate inquiry +in the blue eyes. "Would _you_ like to go out," or "Are you tired, +dear, after yesterday?" and so on, and Regina saw no other way than to +accept all this poisonous affection and be gentle and amiable in return. + +Everest, who would have resented the least discourtesy towards Regina, +began to feel in this way an attraction towards the pretty, fairy-like +creature who was so devoted to the woman he loved, and quite lost his +suspicions that she would make mischief and disagreement in the camp. + +To Everest himself she was submission and flattery personified. She +listened devoutly to all he said, never held a contrary opinion to his, +was always willing to adapt herself to his or Regina's wishes. She +would do this or that which was convenient, either stay in camp or go +with them; ride whatever was provided for her, do whatever was desired, +and in the evenings sang and played divinely on the guitar which she +had brought with her. Her beauty seemed to increase daily, and to +Regina the reason for this was perfectly clear. She was playing a most +exciting, difficult and successful game, and the excitement and joy of +it lent to her that peculiar beauty of intense animation which no other +can equal. + +There was no doubt that she coveted Everest personally, with all the +force of which she was capable, and Nature is always on the side of +any individual fighting for a mate. She lends beauty and charm to the +female as she lends power and magnetism to the male. + +And Everest closely in contact with this young, beautiful, insistent +woman, who was new to him, felt that transient sensory desire for her +which is a purely natural spontaneous impulse in natures like his, full +to the brim of energy and vigour, possessing both far in excess of the +demands of daily life. + +His love for Regina went very deep into his whole organisation, and +his power of self-control was strong, therefore had he realised at the +first that he was going to do anything to make his idol unhappy he +would have strenuously resisted the new invading passion. But, as in +all these cases the beginnings are imperceptible, the slope of the hill +is far slipped down by the unwary feet before they even feel they are +descending. + +In this case Sybil had masked her advances with infinite care. Of +course there could be no love-making, no flirtation, between them now. +He was a married man, she knew, bound to that lovely and exquisite +Regina for ever and ever; but there could be such a nice camaraderie +between them; they were such old friends and cousins, and cousins might +kiss each other, as they had always done, and her kisses were cousinly +little things at first, so that, without in the least alarming him +at the beginning, she established forms of intimacy that gradually +afterwards she could fill with passion. + +When he awoke to the passion in them it was too late: it had set fire +to his own; he knew that he wanted those kisses, desired them, as he +did the woman herself! + +It is useless for those who read this record to frown and scowl and +talk of his love for Regina and regard him as a monster because, while +loving and possessing her, he desired another. His love for Regina had +nothing to do with the question. One might as well argue that because +one dines every night at home one never wants to dine out with a friend. + +The idea of replacing Regina with Sybil never occurred to him. Regina +was for him something he could never part with, a portion of his own +life. All the feelings for her were so deep, so real, so intertwisted +with the mental emotions, it was impossible to compare them with those +for Sybil. But she had the amazing power of novelty on her side; she +had that charm for Everest that the unlearned language has for the +student, the unknown country for the explorer; and when Regina at +last appealed to him about the matter, he suddenly realised that the +presence of Sybil, her society, the sight of her, her kisses, gave him +a keen pleasure that now he did not at all wish to give up. + +The first time that Regina spoke to him of her own pain and distress +was in their tent at night, alone, and Everest had come up to her and +taken her into his arms. + +"Dear little girl, how can you be so foolish? There is no one in the +world for me except yourself." + +And this was quite true, for Everest had never felt for any woman the +same feelings as he had done for her, and it never occurred to him that +he could ever part with her. But the curious pleasure that his cousin's +face gave him, the momentary physical delight of her kiss, the joy of +putting his arm round the tiny form and seeing her little teeth gleam +in a smile upon him, all these were very dear to him, though he did not +ever dream of her in any lasting relationship. + +When Everest was alone he often wondered himself how it was that, +knowing so well and disliking so greatly, as he did, this woman's +character and all her mentality, the physical charm of her presence, +the sound, sight and touch of her could give so much pleasure. It +seemed almost sometimes as if the fact that there was little sympathy, +almost no point of union, between them, no attraction except the +physical, seemed to heighten that physical attraction, increase its +power. He knew perfectly well that, in order to please Regina and +preserve her happiness, he ought to annihilate this new passion, which, +insignificant as it really was with reference to his life as a whole, +for the moment gave him so much pleasure; but then, was he bound to do +this, he asked himself. How far do the rights of others go? How far +ought he to deny himself, sacrifice himself that she might enjoy to the +full her life, instead of him enjoying his? + +She had given him the extreme of pleasure, it is true, but in return +he had laid everything he had at her feet. That she had not accepted +his gifts in full was not his fault. He had not withdrawn any of them, +nor ever would. The first place in his life, in his soul, was for her. +Then they were equally in debt to each other, and now what was to be +done? He wanted to enjoy this new pleasure, have this new excitement, +and not being in any way an ideal character, but only an extremely +passionate and rather selfish individual with some few delightful +traits, he determined to take it--determined, that is to say, in that +vague and indefinite manner that one always determines such things, +driven by physical impulses, led by forces of which we know nothing, +compelled by unseen powers, like the helpless, whirling leaf before the +gale. There was no deliberate purpose, plan or intention. Imperceptibly +he had grown interested in Sybil's playing and singing after dinner; +her quaint, inconsequent prattle in its novelty amused him, though he +quite well recognised it would be intolerable once its newness had worn +off, her face from its great beauty of line had always pleased him +immensely, her ardent kiss, with those exquisitely carved scarlet lips, +had shaken his reason, and so from out of all these had grown gradually +desire, which is merciless, blind, relentless, savage, quick in its +onward rush, rapid in its disappearance as any desert lion. + +Regina sat at her tent door and thought over all these things, and the +burnished glory of the golden desert swam before her in a mist of tears. + +She had not read and studied and thought as she had without acquiring +that philosophy that knowledge gives, but no philosophy could help her +against the deadly pain now of her daily life. As far as the shooting +went, the camp up till now had not been a success. Small game and +birds of every sort and kind there were in limitless numbers, but the +lion district, according to their native guides, was always somewhere +beyond. This range of hills, that ridge to the west, the lions had +always retreated there, but when the whole party had duly packed and +moved there, the new camp on the range of hills or on the western ridge +was equally devoid of lion. + +The men, except Everest, went out every day and shot what they could +find, largely antelope, but Everest always having been prompted by his +own nature against the taking of defenceless life, since his intimacy +with Regina, had lost all desire or capability of doing it. If they +came upon a lion he would shoot, the sporting chance was equal there, +the danger shared, the game well able to look after itself; but with +the taking of the beautiful innocent life which abounded all round them +he would have nothing to do. Regina revolted utterly from it, and would +never visit the large tent at the back of the camp where the antelope +were hung and the flamingo flung in heaps, dead and dying together, +their exquisite plumage making it seem as if a sunset cloud had fallen +there. + +At first Everest and Regina had spent together a great deal of the +time painting, and Sybil, who, though she could not hold a rifle +straight herself, had no objection to seeing things killed, accompanied +her brother and the others on their shoots. But latterly Everest had +cared less about the sketching and had taken Sybil for camel rides in +the desert, rides in which Regina could have joined had she been able +to force herself to the pain of witnessing Everest's pleasure as he +lifted his cousin on and off her camel, and the passion in his eyes as +he spoke to and smiled upon her. + +They had gone out to-day, and Regina had stayed in camp and practised +her shooting all the morning. She could talk with the natives and she +understood they were nearing the lion district, and she ardently longed +if any occasion arose in which she could put her skill at Everest's +service, or in his defence, to have it at her command, to show him all +those dear lessons in the past happy time were not given in vain. She +had shot splendidly. Not a single mark out of any of those which she +had set herself had she missed, and her nerves, so excitable by all +mental emotions, seemed to calm and steady themselves when her fingers +closed on a rifle as they did when they took up her paint-brush. + +Now she was tired, and she sat waiting for them to return, for the +exquisitely painful pleasure of Everest's kiss, knowing that his lips +had only recently left another's. + +All the other three men were more or less in love with her in varying +degrees, rather to Everest's amusement, but she only entertained a sick +antipathy towards them and their blood-stained hands and clothes, such +as any ordinary person feels on meeting a butcher coming out of his +shambles. + +She insisted that they should come moderately clean to the dining tent +and that the conversation at dinner should not be upon wounding and +crippling, death agonies and blinded eyes and mangling shots, and as +Everest backed her up in this they had to submit. + +Immediately after dinner she withdrew to her own tent, leaving them to +their smoking and brandy-drinking and their talk of blood and death. +And sitting there alone, she could hear the soft tinkle of the guitar +and the pretty girlish voice singing love songs under the palms where +Sybil had gone, and where Everest, wearied also by the drinking, +smoking and conversation in which he did not care to take a part, had +followed her. How she suffered! Like a bodily illness, the sickness of +jealousy seems to diffuse paralysing pain throughout the whole system. + +Yet after that hour, or sometimes half-an-hour, of misery, when Everest +himself came to the tent, and raising the door flap stepped inside, +she rose to meet him with a smile and waves of intense happiness +vibrated through her as her eyes took in his image. The sight of him, +his presence near her had still that same tremendous power over her +that it had had from the first. The sharp contrast that he presented +to the other men they were now with seemed to heighten still further +the effect upon her senses. When he came in, pale and calm as usual, +his clear skin fresh and cool from the outside air, his dark eyes full +of fire, and approached her, willing to kiss and caress her, she knew +she must forgive him everything, she wanted and desired him too much +to do anything else. How different he seemed from the thick-skinned, +burnt-faced, heavy-eyed men she had left in the dining tent, flushed +with over-eating and drinking, soaked through with the scent of tobacco +and brandy and of old blood on their clothes and of grease and mud on +their shooting boots. Had they been models of fidelity and all the +domestic virtues she would not have let one kiss her, hardly to save +her life, so violently did they in themselves outrage her æsthetic +sense, but by Everest, if she were mentally hurt and wounded, yet the +physical compensations in himself were so overwhelming that she could +not do otherwise than go on loving him, through all her suffering. +Everest never came to her in the condition--dirty, untidy, smoky, +semi-fuddled--that these men seemed to live in, if, indeed, he was ever +in that condition at all, which seemed impossible in connection with +him. The order and beauty of his rooms that had so intensified her +love for him when she surprised him in London seemed always to be part +of his person, his clothes, his atmosphere. Without ever in the least +seeming to care about his dress or be conscious of his looks, he always +seemed to be clean, well-attired, fresh, alert-eyed, as an officer +going on parade. + +And often in those night vigils, when the bitter gall of jealousy had +risen to the brim of her nature and anger burnt in all her veins and a +torrent of lava-like words waited on her tongue, and her brain seethed +with madness, when he really came to her, all possible reproaches +slipped from her mind; she felt only inclined to fall upon her knees +before him, as a slave girl before an emperor, and tell him how much +she worshipped him. + +As she sat now looking into the golden haze of the distance, which +reddened softly as the sunset hour approached, she saw the light veils +of dust rising which meant the nearing of the home-coming party, and +she rose and retreated into her own tent. She guessed that Sybil and +Everest would be riding together and she did not wish to see it. She +found that when she did not actually see them together she suffered +less. She knew with her reason that much of what so hurt her senses, +looks, smiles, tones, even caresses, from a man of his nature, really +meant very little, and therefore when her eyes and ears were not pained +by them she was less disturbed. Behind these two would come the three +sportsmen, and then all the horrid procession of limp, blood-covered +bodies, masses of beautiful dead birds carried along by the troop of +servants. That she did not wish to see either. So she retreated into +the shadow and shelter of her tent and pulled down the door flap, +knowing that Everest would come in when Sybil had dismounted and gone +to her tent, and the three men with their spoils and their attendants +had disappeared to the gun-room tent at the back. + +She set her rifle in the corner after unloading it and slipped off her +belt of cartridges, as it is hardly a comfortable adjunct to one's +clothing in a close embrace, and while she did so she heard all the +noise without of the return, the snuffing of the camels, the barking of +dogs, the chatter of the natives, the dragging of the heavy antelope on +the sand, and the scent of blood and dust came to her nostrils through +all the chinks of the tent. + +She waited some time, but Everest did not come, and the sounds subsided +outside. As all grew quiet again, she lifted a little window flap that +was at one side of the tent and looked out into the green shade of the +palm. Her heart gave a great bound and then seemed to stand still and +tremble as a stricken deer. They were standing there, not twenty yards +away, Sybil and Everest, their hands in each other's, apparently about +to part. The girl's fair, pale face lifted to his showed distinctly +against the deep shadow behind her. + +Regina looked at Everest, and a sudden fury like the hot smoke of a +fire rose over all her brain. A panting thirst after something not +defined stirred in all her blood, and then came the query, like a +voice in a dream: "Why not end this? Why not kill her?" She could do +it so easily now as she stood there, a perfect mark for Regina, who +could pierce a cactus leaf through the exact centre at twenty yards. +She was very near to Everest, it was true, but Regina knew her aim so +well--that calm white oval against the green. She could send a shot +from her pistol out of the tent that would find it and shatter it for +ever. + +Without knowing it, in that instant of frightful jealous rage, her feet +had carried her across the tent, her fingers had clasped her pistol +and drawn it from her belt. Swift and silent as a shadow she was back +at the little window; they were still there, nearer each other, that +was all. She cocked the revolver and aimed it so that she covered the +delicate and perfect carving of that pale disk beneath the trees. Then +her true self woke suddenly and rushed upon her, and her hand dropped +to her side. + +How mad, how foolish her impulse had been! Better turn the pistol on +herself than that. Death was far better than to live dishonoured, +burdened with the blood of another. Sybil had injured her enough +already. She should not turn her into a murderess; besides, death or +injury to Sybil meant suffering for Everest, and in her wildest moments +she had no wish to cause him pain or distress. To her, an object once +loved was sacred. No faintest thought of revenge on _him_ ever came +near her mind. + +He had offered to bind himself to her and she had refused. She had +wished him to be free. Well then, how illogical, how absurd her +attitude now, like that of a pettish child. + +She closed the flap of the tent and sank down on the side of the bed +and buried her face in her hands, lost in a sense of humiliation and +self-condemnation. + +Here Everest found her when he came in, and as she looked up and saw +him enter, smiling and full of life, a sense of joy came to her that no +mad act of hers had brought misery upon him and so upon them both. She +rose as he approached her. She was very white, but she smiled up at him +as she saw the look of concern come into his face. + +"You look so pale. Do you feel ill? Is the heat too much for you?" he +exclaimed anxiously. + +"No; I am quite well. I always get dull and miss you when you are +out, that is all," she answered. She would not speak to him of Sybil. +She knew in matters of love coercion is useless, words are useless, +everything is useless. Like a malady, like a sickness, desire drifts +across the brain and runs its course. Sometimes the sufferer dies, but +more often he recovers and asks: "Was I ever ill?" + +She took up the pistol and put it back in its place and busied herself +with making tea for him, and all the time her mind was recalling the +exquisite lines of Sophocles on love: "Like the icicle lying in the +hot hand of the wondering boy it diminishes and vanishes even while he +gazes on it and the harder, the tighter, he clasps it, the more rapidly +does it disappear." + +Day after miserable day went by for Regina, while the hate, which was +wholly alien to her nature, for Sybil grew within her, and like some +horrible physical growth hurt and oppressed her in the growing and +seemed to poison her whole organisation. + +If she could only have known clearly what Everest's feelings were; but +he would not speak on the subject. He had admitted that he desired the +girl, and all his assurances that nothing could affect his love for +Regina might be merely to comfort her. At the best he wanted something +that, but for her presence, he could and would have obtained. And to +Regina her own duty, her course of conduct was not clear. She had +brought with her into camp a few books, and among them "Anna Lombard," +which she read and reread, finding in the position of Gerald Ethridge +some reflection of her own. But to her, her situation seemed more +difficult, her duty more obscure than his, for in Gerald's case he +felt convinced that Anna's love for the Pathan could not bring her +happiness, and therefore he could believe himself justified in trying +his utmost to turn her from it, but here the torturing thought would +ever present itself to Regina that Sybil had every quality to fit her +to be Everest's wife. She might well hold herself to be in the right +and Regina in the wrong. She could bring to the man she married a +large dower, noble rank, lands, old name. She was the bride picked out +and selected for him by his own family and people, and now he himself +desired her. In utter anguish of soul Regina asked herself again and +again why was she standing between? The girl was beautiful too, and +though, to Regina, the extreme disproportion of size between the +cousins jarred and seemed unnatural, yet she had to admit that Nature +worked that way, constantly making the male seek his opposite in his +mate, so that the average of the type may be maintained. + +She hated Sybil with the fierce natural hate of any human being for +another who robs and despoils him of his dearest possessions, but +logically she could not defend that hatred of her. In the eyes of the +world she knew that Sybil and not herself would be given the better +title to Everest. + +If she could only have known what he thought, what he felt! If she +could only have penetrated the mystery that had grown up round his +feelings and relations to his cousin! But like all men he would not +speak definitely or clearly to her about it. That silence of men! How +much it has to account for! We have all heard of the crimes without +number traced to and excused by the celebrated habit of "nagging" which +belongs to women. No condemnation is too severe for it. No sympathy too +excessive to be given to the male sufferers from it. But what of that +dogged brutal silence of men that corrodes and eats into the sensitive, +excitable brain of a woman? For how many murders and suicides has that +not been accountable? + +In the whole world there is no lash more effective, no vitriol more +corrosive than this silence in which men cloak their various infamies. + +Everest had been far more outspoken than most men would have been, +but he also, as the days went by, seemed to grow more reserved, more +silent. A sort of abstraction seemed to enclose him, and often after +a day's expedition, in the evening, when they had gone to their own +tent--those evenings which formerly had been so dear to her--he would +lie down on the camp sofa and fall apparently into a reverie which left +him hardly conscious of her presence. Looking at him she could see his +face had a pained, abstracted pallor on it. She could not tell of what +he was thinking, but she knew that he was desiring another and that she +stood between. + +And the strain of all this was so great that it seemed to her she must +escape from it or go mad. But there was no escape for any of them from +each other. Like a lot of hostile animals in a cage, they were shut up +together in the camp to quarrel as they chose, and on all sides the +sandy waste hemmed them in. + +One day she went out a little way from her tent with her easel and +colours. She was alone. St John, James and Graham had gone out quite +early, and Everest and Sybil, after luncheon, had strolled away +together among the palms. She did not know where they had gone, nor +did it matter. She never sought to spy upon them or follow them or to +see where they went or what they did. The fact that Everest wished to +be with the girl was all that mattered. The intense bitterness of this +knowledge was so overwhelming that all detail of pain and distress was +lost in it. + +To-day, left alone in the suffocating heat of midday in the tent, with +nothing but her hatred of Sybil, her passion for Everest and her sick +misery in the present situation for companion, she felt as if her brain +would give way. + +She must get out, under the open sky, in the shade of the grove, and +perhaps she could lose herself temporarily in some inspiration. She +must, in some way, break up the maddening circle of her thoughts. +Suppose she lost her reason and killed or injured Everest! The mere +thought filled her with cold horror and fear. Never, never, never, +whatever he did, however he made her suffer, would she in her sane +moments retaliate, never could she hurt or harm this man who had +given her so much happiness. But after all the brain is an unstable +thing--she would not know what she did if the veil of madness were +suddenly drawn over it. + +Oppressed by this new thought, she gathered her painting materials +together and wandered slowly through her tent door towards the shadiest +part of the grove. + +There were two palms leaning a little together which caught her eye, +and between them a tiny brown tent by a clump of banana-trees, the +whole forming a little picture in glowing light and wavering shade, +and she dropped down here, weary and heart-sick, putting up her easel +and trying to set her mind upon her work. + +Her talent was so great that even in that state of pain and suffering +her hand obeyed her will almost mechanically, and she soon had the +whole sketched in on the paper. + +She was just commencing the colouring when she heard voices close to +her and quivered and grew deadly pale as she recognised Everest's and +its gentle tones. + +"I do love you so much," she heard Sybil's voice saying, "and you are +beginning to love me too, now just a little, do say you do?" + +And Everest answered: + +"Does this not seem like it." And just at that moment the two figures +came in view round a palm close to those under which she was sitting, +and she saw him bend over the girl and kiss her. + +Regina had seen them kiss before, as Sybil had insisted on these +cousinly habits from the first, but this was a different thing. This +was neither a greeting nor a leave-taking. It was the kiss of pleasure, +prompted by passion, sought for by the man. + +Regina felt absolutely paralysed by the agony of witnessing it. She +could not move, and for a moment could hardly breathe. Like those who +looked on the Gorgon's head, she felt turning into stone. + +As Everest raised his head after their kiss they both saw her. They +could not do otherwise, opposite her and only a few yards away. All +three for the first second remained rigid and staring, then Sybil burst +away with a half scream. Everest let her go, not seeming to notice her +as she ran towards the camp. He stood for a moment where he was, then +he walked up to Regina. + +The colour burned in the clear cheek, his eyes were kindling with +excitement and anger. He looked splendidly, cruelly handsome as he +approached her. She could not move. Fascinated like a little kid put +into the python's cage, she stared at him as he came up. + +"Regina!" there was a sharp ring of annoyance and anger in his voice. +He expected reproaches, some outburst, but no sound came from her. She +gazed upon him quite silently, her blue eyes looking black and burning +in the deadly white of her face. + +Everest loved her so dearly that he could not bear to face the anguish +of that gaze. He came a step nearer, then, with his natural easy grace, +threw himself on the ground beside her. + +"Regina! Darling! It is nothing! Kisses like those are nothing! Do not +worry yourself or make yourself ill over them. You know, better than +most women, what men are, men of my temperament especially. I don't +want to lie to you, nor to deceive you, but I don't want you to think +things are worse than they are. Speak to me! Say you forgive me, dear +one." + +At these words, in the loved voice that ruled all her being, Regina +burst suddenly into tears and let him draw her up to him, her tired +head, weary with much pondering over the same painful idea, sank +against his breast and she continued to sob and sob there. + +"There is no question of my forgiving," she said at last through her +tears. "The whole thing is in your hands. You do want this girl, I +suppose; you do desire her?" + +Everest laughed a little as he stroked her hair. + +"In a way, perhaps, yes, just now. It is difficult for me not to desire +any beautiful woman who tells me she loves me. I am not accustomed to +resisting them, I'm afraid. The position with Sybil is getting quite +impossible. I will end it as soon as I can." + +"But what would you like to do about her? For yourself?" + +"Do not let us discuss her any more," he responded, kissing her hair. +"I want you to trust me and know that the matter between her and me +does not and will not in any way affect our relationship. Will you do +that?" And what could Regina say or do but assent and let him kiss away +her tears. + +"Come," he added, after a minute, "let us go out of the grove. It's +quite cool now, we can walk easily." + +Regina rose at once. It would be a joy to be out with him in the open, +away from the hateful camp. Everest called up a servant and told him to +pack up carefully and take into the tent Regina's easel and drawing. +Then he slipped his arm through hers and they walked through the palms +towards the gleaming gold of the desert. The oasis was just like a +great temple, she thought, with the straight stems of the trees rising +on all sides like pillars to support the roof, and the blue and gold +of sand and sky lay beyond its cool green shade, as if beyond an open +portal. + +The light was full of rose colour, and the whole desert before them +looked palely pink as they emerged from the grove. Each tiny wavelet of +the gigantic sea of sand was rose-tinted on its crest and softly mauve +in its rounded hollow. The sky was still a glorious sapphire-blue, but +transforming slowly into golden orange and across the transparent light +of the west winged in joyous flight a band of flamingoes, wonderful in +their exquisite salmon-pink and flame-coloured plumage. The calmness, +the delight of the evening hour was on all around. + +"How lovely this is!" Regina exclaimed. "And I feel so happy whenever I +am alone with you. It seems like the enchanted garden days again. Oh, +Everest, I am so grieved that this girl has come between us and that +you care about her as you do." + +"Who can understand the mystery of our own hearts?" he answered +bitterly. "They are just like this desert, full of the bright shining +mirage of hope, and the oasis of beauty, and infested with the lions of +passion and desire that are always prowling there in the darkness." + +Regina looked up at him as he walked beside her. How well he knew life +and spoke of it. Had not his passion for her sprung into her life +suddenly as a lion and devoured her, and now perhaps was passing on, +leaving her broken and destroyed as the mangled remains of a kid on +the sand where a lion has fed. But yet he had led her to those oases +and she had drunk deeply there of the sweetest waters of life, and +he had shown her the shining mirage and dazzled her eyes with those +beautiful phantom images she never could have seen without him. Yes, +he was like the desert, and she could not hate him any more than man +can hate the desert, in spite of its cruelty and the death it deals out +to them. Deeply, marvellously pink, lower and lower, fell the light, +like a mantle dropping on them and the face of the waste. They paused +and looked back to the encampment. Palms and tents and the figures of +the men and the feeding camels, all looked as if cut out of ruby, all +in lustrous glowing red against the pale warm gold background of the +sky. They sat down on a rising mound of the rippling sand, and he put +his arm round her and drew her close to him till her head found its +resting-place on his shoulder, and they were quite silent, fearing +that any word should mar the deep hush, the infinite peace that seemed +falling like a benediction from that far-arched crystal sky, and over +the girl's brain came softly the lines of an old French song she had +noted somewhere in her reading: + + + "Eloine de ton coeur le fiel qui voudrait s'y glisser. + Ce n'est point dans le coeur de femme que la haine doit s'y fixer." + + +And while she was resolving that never should that bitterness live +in her heart for him, no matter what his crimes against her, he was +questioning within himself why and how it was that, loving this woman +as he did, this curious wild gust of emotion should have swayed him to +another. He disliked Sybil, he had always done so. For years she had +courted him in vain, and yet and yet, the sight of those lines of her +ivory face, whenever he saw them, seemed to throw madness through all +his veins. It would tear his heart in two to give up Regina, not for +any reason on earth would he have parted with her, but like the deadly +thirst that comes on a man after drinking alkali water and drives him +back to drink of the poisonous thing again, his desire held him and +lived with him against his will. + +The rose light faded and died and twilight came up over the desert +like a violet flood. Very slowly and lingeringly they rose and walked +back to the tent together, as the fires of the camp were beginning to +sparkle amongst the trees. + +That same night Regina woke suddenly between the hour of midnight +and dawn and sat up in bed with a wild fluttering at her heart. For +a moment the bodily faintness, the whole strange series of physical +feeling, was so great, she was not conscious of anything else. She +turned to Everest for help and then saw she was alone. The bed and tent +were alike empty, brilliant with the moonlight that poured through the +canvas, bright as day. + +Sick, dizzy and confused she sat up, gasping. Then a great joy vibrated +suddenly all through her. It was true then. She felt convinced now that +her unsubstantial hopes and thoughts were verified. A great delight +filled her, the scene of the enchanted garden rushed back upon her and +Everest's words. Now she might tell him, she could not be in doubt any +longer. + +Where was he, she wondered. All the faintness seemed to have passed +again as suddenly as it came, all the cloud of bodily sensation to have +whirled by. She only felt a great sense of happiness, an eagerness to +share it with him. + +She rose and found her dressing-gown and a pair of shoes and crossed +the tent, all filled with white light, to the door, pulled aside the +flap and looked out. It was a very still night, the palms lifted their +feathery tops in stately majesty against the glorious purple of the +star-filled sky without a quiver of the lightest leaf, their shadows +lay in velvety blackness on the silvered golden of the sand. Not a +sound disturbed the deep silence; the air came to her light and pure +and cool. Beyond the palm grove, far out into the limitless distance +she could see the desert roll like a rippling silver sea beneath the +moon rays. + +As she stood there something moved, a shadow fell on the sand some +fifty yards away from the tent door and then she saw Everest's figure +walking slowly as if he were pacing up and down. Beyond him she could +see the closed faces of two other tents, they were those of Sybil and +her brother. In an instant the scene of the afternoon and its whole +import came back to her, and she held suddenly the canvas edge of the +door in her cold hand. She looked at the moving figure closely. Up and +down, up and down it walked and she could see his hands were clenched +sometimes at his sides and sometimes one hand would be raised and drawn +across his eyes as if to clear away some painful thought. + +Regina turned from the door and found her way back trembling to the +bed. She could not tell him now. It was too late. What a bitter irony +of fate! What a cruel mockery to send her certainty now, when her lips +were closed and he was only thinking of and desiring another! She +reached the bed and threw herself upon it in a passion of bitter tears. +All their talk, their own dear intimate conversations, came back upon +her like knives cutting into her brain. How she had looked forward +to the joy it would give him! How she had dreamed of the expression +that would cross his beautiful face! How she had cherished the idea +of this pleasure she had in store for him! And now, how could she +tell? It would, perhaps, be no pleasure, it would bring to him only a +sense of bondage, a feeling that he was bound. Already he was pacing +there, tortured by thoughts as pitiless and savage as the desert lions, +already he was torn between his honour and his desire. Should she add +to his burden?--carry out to him a chain and fetter with which to bind +his feet already longing perhaps to go from her? No, a hundred times +no; not now. The happy secret, the joyous hope transformed into bitter +pain, she would lock up in her own breast as long as she could. + +If she could have but told him sooner! If she could have had that +delight in London before they left, or on board that magic boat he had +fitted up for her! The intense joy of it then! Would it have made any +difference, she wondered. No; nothing, she thought, would have helped +her. + +Everest did not come back, she lay in the silver light of the tent +alone, in an agony of grief and pain; her pillow drenched with tears. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +IN THE DARK WATCHES + + +The camp was in a state of excitement; the natives in a whirl of +breathless jabber, even the stolid Englishman slightly fluttered. Lion +had been seen and heard at last--seen with the naked eye and heard +by the fleshy ear. It was no question of imagination, nor of rumour, +nor of excited fancy this time. It was true, genuine, solid fact. A +small party of the native servants had been out reconnoitring some +distance from the new camp into which they had just moved, and while +returning at sunset, as they came up to the brow of a long low line of +rocky hills, a tawny form had been seen swinging along over the gilded +ripples of the sandy plain towards them and somewhere far on the left +of them had disappeared amongst the rock and scrub. + +The reconnoitring band had hurried back to camp, bursting with +importance and triumph, and since their arrival with the news the whole +party was a-buzz and astir with excitement. + +There was a unanimous wish to go out that very night. They had all +been tantalised and irritated so long now by lion stories that came to +nothing, and wearied by every other kind of shooting than that which +they wanted and had come out for, that they all burned with the same +enthusiasm to catch the chance now it had come. The men called upon +Everest to come and talk matters over with them in the gun-room tent, +away from the women, and he went, leaving Regina cleaning her rifle +and looking over her cartridge belt in their sleeping tent. Her eyes +had sparkled when she had heard the news. She had no wish to kill a +lion for herself, nor acquire as an indifferent hearthrug the beautiful +golden coat that fitted him so perfectly, but the joy of going side by +side with Everest into danger, and perhaps being of service to him, of +even possibly saving his life, seemed to make every nerve and fibre +within her glow like hot steel. + +"I may come with you, mayn't I?" she had asked, before he left the +tent, "and be close to you through it all, wherever you go, whatever +you do?" And he had bent and kissed her. + +"My darling, yes, I should think so. You have waited a long time for +this. You must come now and show what you can do. You shall have the +first shot if you like." + +"Oh no, Everest," Regina exclaimed. "I want nothing really. I would not +for worlds take your shot. I only want to be there so as to aid you or +help in any way if it is necessary. Do you see? I don't want to kill a +lion except in self-defence or defence of you." + +"All right," laughed Everest in return, greatly amused. "You shall come +to protect me. Get ready now as I sha'n't be able to keep these fellows +waiting." And he had gone out. + +She busied herself immediately with every detail of her dress, boots +and equipment, her pistol, her tiny flask of brandy, her knife. +Nothing was forgotten. Her courage and her blood rose with every +instant. There was only one thing she feared, and that was any +accident that might happen to Everest which should leave him maimed +or disfigured. If he were killed, the matter was simple. She would +instantly follow him by means of her pistol. But the thought of his +living bereft of the physical beauty and power he now possessed filled +her with horror. She would not think of it, however, for she was +powerless. She knew Everest wished to go after the lion, and she could +not deprive him of a danger and excitement, that he had enjoyed all his +life, on account of her foolish--as he would consider them--fears. No, +she would face everything with him and hope for the best, that was all +she could do. Of herself she never once thought. In addition to her own +naturally courageous nature, she had that added indifference to danger +which we all feel when our life is unhappy and full of pain. Hers had +contained so much slow corroding suffering lately that the thought of +risking it in facing some active danger seemed of far less moment than +it would have done on board the dahabeeyah on the golden Nile. + +Meanwhile Everest had gone round to the gun tent, and the first thing +he saw as he entered was Sybil, seated on a camp-stool under the rows +of feathered game, surrounded by the three men, who were looking down +upon her with various degrees of dismay written on their countenances. + +She was white to the lips with terror, trembling and clinging to the +sides of the stool with both hands to steady herself. The upshot of her +incoherent talk was that she was too frightened to go with them and +too terrified to remain alone in camp. Like most stupid, unimaginative +people, she did not realise or picture a danger to herself until it was +actually upon her, and when she had heard and spoken of lion-hunting +no very definite idea beyond that of the discomforts of camp-life had +presented itself to her. Now brought suddenly face to face with the +proposition of going out to meet the wild beasts or being shut up alone +in the camp, knowing they were in the vicinity, she lost her head +completely and seemed beside herself with terror. + +Shooting harmless, defenceless things that could not strike back had +seemed pleasant and amusing enough to her all this time; when it came +to considering the teeth and claws of a lion the whole matter had a +different aspect. + +Having just left Regina, brilliant and enthusiastic in her courage and +devotion, when Everest's eyes fell on the pitiable object his cousin +looked, shaking on her camp-stool, a throb of contempt went through +him. He was intrepid coolness, courage and dash himself to the very +brim, and he could hardly enter at all into the abject cowardice of the +girl before him. Directly she saw him she sprang up and ran to him. + +"Oh, Everest, _you_ will stay in camp with me and protect me, won't +you?" she exclaimed, and the contrast between the two women's cries +struck him at the moment and recurred to him afterwards. + +Regina's had been an appeal that she might come into danger to protect +him. + +"What nonsense is this, Sybil?" he answered impatiently. "We've been +waiting all this time for our chance, and now you make a silly fuss +about it! Don't you want to come with us after all?" + +"Come with you?" stammered the girl, while her teeth chattered. "No, +no, no, I couldn't." + +"Well, then, you can stay at home," he returned curtly. + +"That's what I've been telling her," interrupted Merton, "and she wants +one of us to stay, too. I'll be hanged if I'm going to now after the +rotten time we've had so far." + +Sybil sank again on her camp-stool. Literally she could not stand up, +her knees were knocking together, her limbs crumpling up beneath her. +She was cold with fear. + +"Well, why can't the two women stay and look after each other?" +asked St John, who was standing, his feet apart, his hands deep in +the pockets of his Norfolk jacket, staring at the little figure in +the centre of the tent. "We'll get on heaps better without them; +responsibility, you know, having women about." + +"Regina! What good would she be?" answered Sybil. + +"Regina would be as good as any of us," returned the doctor rather +fiercely. "She's a better shot than any one of us, bar Lanark, and +_she's_ no fear of anything--_she's_ Courage itself." + +Sybil was too terrified to heed or care for the obvious comparison. + +"You seem rather to forget, gentlemen," remarked Everest coldly, "that +this whole camp and expedition was organised by me solely for Regina; +and the first shot at lion really belongs to her. Our guests joined us +afterwards as--er--an afterthought." + +This silenced the guests. St John flung himself down on another +camp-stool and began to clean his gun, muttering to himself it was +always like this when you had women about. Merton looked as if he could +have strangled his sister, the doctor turned to a hanging flamingo and +fingered his rosy wing in silence. + +"That's quite right, Everest, you're the boss of this show," Merton +said, after a second. "You arrange the thing any way you like." + +"Why won't _you_ stay with me?" pleaded Sybil, looking up at Everest. + +"Because I don't choose to," he returned, almost brutally for him, so +great was the contrast to his usual voice and manner. "You are making +yourself absolutely ridiculous. I will ask Regina to stay with you to +take care of you, but if she refuses you'll have to stay alone." + +He turned to the others. + +"I'll go over and ask her and then come back to you and we can fix up +our plans. I think if we could ride out to the ridge to-night in the +cool, and be round those water-holes just after dawn, that's about the +best we can do." + +"Right! Anything you say, Everest," Merton responded, and the others +grunted assent. + +"Come, Sybil, you'd better go back to the dining tent and wait for me +there till I've seen Regina," Everest said peremptorily, and they went +out of the tent together. + +"Splendid, plucky girl that other, you know," remarked the doctor. "I +think it will be a beastly shame if Lanark makes her stop in camp to +look after your precious sister." + +"Don't talk to me," growled Merton. "I'm savage enough with her; she +wants a good shaking, upsetting things like this." + +"Everest, you're angry with me," faltered Sybil, as they got outside. +"I can't help being frightened--can--can I?" + +"Not altogether, I suppose," returned Everest contemptuously. "But you +can help making a fuss about it. You could stay quietly in camp and not +bother anybody else if you chose." + +"I should have thought you would have liked to stay with me," she +murmured plaintively, slipping her tiny hand through his arm. +"If they all go, and Regina too, we should be in the camp all +night--together--alone--we could----Oh, Everest, do; won't you?" + +They were passing under the few palms that intervened between the +gun tent and the dining tent. The moon was rising, but not yet very +strong. His face was in the shadow and darkness. She could not see it, +but she felt him let his arm fall so that her hand had no longer a +resting-place, and noticed he moved from her. + +"I do not think that Regina would go except with me or for me," he +merely answered, but a great wave of passion for the woman he had named +rose in him as he thought of that tender, eager, devoted nature longing +to face death and danger for his sake. + +Sybil felt silenced. She knew she had injured herself in his eyes by +her fears, but it was no use her pretending to be brave; she was white +and cold with fear. She did not know what to say. She felt he was angry +with her, and she was almost as much afraid of him as she was of his +lions. + +Everest did not speak again till they reached the dining tent, in +which he found her a chair, and then went on to Regina. He felt his +whole being ablaze and aflame with love for her. Suddenly he hated +himself for his conduct, and a resolve sprang into life that as soon as +possible he would break up the present arrangement and go away alone, +alone with her.... He was at her tent door and entered. + +Regina sprang up. "Are we to start now?" she exclaimed joyously. She +was quite ready, and looked gloriously handsome and vital and full of +mettle, like a racer at the start, as she stood in the centre of the +tent, flushed and smiling and animated, awaiting his commands. Everest +went straight up to her and without a word caught her to him in one of +those mad, passionate embraces she loved from him and never wearied of +and never found too violent. + +"Dearest, dearest, dearest!" she murmured, kissing him back as soon as +he would let her. Whatever he had done, was doing, or desiring, however +he had sinned or was sinning against her, he wanted her kiss now and +she was powerless to do anything but give it. + +He set her free after a moment and stood looking at her. + +"Darling, I am so sorry, I have got to ask you something I hate. Will +you do it for me?" + +Regina's reply was instant. + +"Of course, you know you have only to tell me your wishes." + +"I am so sorry, so angry, so vexed, you have no idea, but will you stay +in camp to-night and give up this expedition?" + +Regina's face suddenly grew white and grave; the joyous flush vanished. + +"You yourself going without me?" + +"I and the other men, yes." + +Regina fell on her knees before him and stretched out her arms. + +"Everest! If you only knew what it means to me, to let you go into +danger without me, you would not ask me. If anything should happen to +you, I do so want to be with you. Won't you let me come?" + +Her voice, in which her whole ardent nature, her great and overwhelming +love for him revealed themselves in wonderful music of tone, made +Everest's eyes suddenly swim and the image of her kneeling at his feet +swayed mistily before him. He took both her arms and gently raised her. + +"Dear one, listen. I know all you feel and I appreciate it so much, but +there is no danger, or very little, for you to worry about. I know you +want to share what there is and I want you with me, but in this case +you can serve me so much better, if you will, by remaining here. After +this we will break up the arrangement and you and I will go and hunt +somewhere together alone, where we can do as we please." + +"Why do you want me to stay?" she asked, looking up at him. + +The red of angry savage annoyance surged all over his face. + +"This girl Sybil has been making a scene and saying she cannot be left +alone in camp, and of course, in a way, we are responsible for her. I +can't order any of the others to stay with her, and it's hardly well to +leave her by herself, she might do any foolish thing. She is simply in +a state of nervous terror. So I am asking you to stay and look after +her." + +Regina paled with resentment. She did not know how utterly and entirely +Everest revolted now from the girl whose physical beauty had for a time +so ensnared and delighted his senses. She did not know how strongly +he was drawn to herself and how completely the whole influence of the +other had faded from his body and his mind. She had no clue as to +the gradual weakening of this influence for some time past and the +growing indifference on Everest's part which now had suddenly changed +into contempt and revolt. He had been very silent about Sybil, after +the manner of men, and had tried to show Regina by acts rather than +in words that the matter, as far as he was concerned, was at an end. +But as he stood to Sybil as host, and as she put out all her powers +to keep him by her side, it was difficult for Regina to gain a just +idea of the truth. Had Everest been of a more brutal and less refined +type of sensualist he could have explained to Regina in a few short, +outspoken sentences the fact that all and more than he wanted had been +pressed upon him, and that he was now weary and annoyed with the girl +and everything connected with her. But he revolted from any betrayal of +a woman who, however selfishly, had loved him. He felt it a matter of +honour to be absolutely silent about her. And in this way Regina had to +be left to misunderstand and to suffer. + +So now that he appealed to her to stay in camp it only seemed to +her that she was appointed as guardian to the jewel he wished kept +in safety, and her happiness, desire and pleasure was to be again +sacrificed to this girl as it had been now for so long. + +She was so bitterly angry; the rage and tumult of her jealous passion +and indignation was such within her, that she could have turned upon +Everest then and poured out a flood of burning reproach like a torrent +of molten metal upon him. + +But her self-control was perfect, her empire over self complete. She +knew, with a man like this, violence, coercion was useless. And that +moment of all others was not the one for recrimination or reproach. + +She was white to the lips as she looked at him, but she said simply: + +"I am to give up coming with you in order to take care of Sybil. Is +that it?" + +"That is the letter of it, the spirit is that you stay behind in camp +because _I_ have wished you to do so." + +Unconsciously his tone was cold and commanding. He felt the intense +vibration of resentment and indignation that went through her as +plainly as if an assagai was shaken before his face, and he was enraged +at the whole situation. For a second they both looked at each other +in silence, and, as so often before, the girl felt that, if he chose, +he had every right to command. To a man of inferior physical aspect, +to one who had less influence on her senses, she could not in that +moment of intense disappointment, of revolt and outraged feeling, have +submitted. As it was, after that moment of silent rebellion, she laid +down her rifle and turned away. + +"There is no more to be said then: I will stay," she answered, in a low +tone. + +Everest's face softened. He followed her and put his arm round her neck. + +"Dear little girl, you think me a brute, don't you? I will give up the +expedition myself and stay with you. Do you wish me to do that?" + +Regina looked up at him, her eyes were full of hot blinding tears. + +"I shall be in an agony of suspense till you come back safely," she +returned; "but I can't ask you to stay, I know how you would hate +it--the other men thinking you perhaps wanted to get out of it and all +that, or else that you had no will of your own and I had made you stay. +As host and leader you can't well stay behind--you would feel it so." + +The male nature in Regina made it easy for her to understand how +hateful, nearly impossible, it would have been for Everest to stay +in camp with the women while the rest of the party went out to the +excitement of the hunt. The intense disappointment she suffered herself +in foregoing this, the first really important, expedition with him, for +which she had trained herself so patiently, made it easy to realise +what his would be in missing the first opportunity for which they had +all waited so long. + +She turned and kissed his hand on her shoulder. + +"Go, my dearest, as you wish; only come back to me safely." + +When Everest left her and went back to the impatient men in the tent, +his whole heart and soul seemed on fire with passion for her. He just +looked into the dining tent as he passed, where Sybil was sitting +quivering and pallid in her chair. + +"You have got your way," he said curtly. "Regina has given up her own +wishes to stay and look after you, but if this sort of thing is going +to continue, the sooner you go home, I should think, the better. It is +simple nonsense to join a hunt and then try and spoil the sport." + +He felt so angry with her, she had spoiled the whole thing and +prevented his having Regina with him, which he had really looked +forward to. Above all, he was repelled by her weakness and cowardice. +His passion leapt up for a woman who was courageous and fearless. There +was something in himself that responded instantly to any heroic act +or quality, and for the weak and timid he had nothing but a sense of +aversion. Sybil was too cowed and too wretched altogether to reply. She +could not find her voice and Everest went on his way to the gun tent. + +"Hurray!" they shouted, as they saw him. "We thought you were never +coming back. Well, what's the news?" + +"Regina will stay," Everest answered quietly. + +"She _is_ a brick. _You_ ought to have stayed, Merton, and let her come +with us." + +Merton only grinned and went on counting his cartridges. + +Regina, left alone in her tent, sat down and pressed both her clasped +hands on her knees. She was thinking of her love for Everest and how +absolutely it made her his slave. She recalled the image of him as +he had stood there a few seconds back, practically commanding her +to stay in the camp, and realised how impossible it was for her to +rebel against him as it would be impossible for her to refuse or deny +him anything, as in fact it had always been from the first. And she +was inclined to resent this taking away of her will-power and this +feeling that it was beneath another's feet, but she was foolish to do +so, for in the heart of worship of another is found the extreme of +passionate pleasure. Above all she was fortunate, and this she did +really feel grateful for, that the empire over her was in such hands +as his. Everest was not a commonplace nor an ordinary individual. She +had not that intensely painful humiliation of being conquered by an +inferior. All her sense of wounded self-love and pride was tempered by +her intense admiration of him; physically and mentally in every way he +was worthy to command others and exact their obedience. Passion, the +slave-driver, had at least made her over to a noble owner. + +Immoral he might be called, but she would not say so, it did not seem +to her the right word. She knew that almost nowhere, neither in the +pages of history nor in the world, are there men to be found of great +physical strength and energy combined with powerful mental equipment +who have joined to them a rigid morality. That a vigorous and active +male animal shall acquire all the unattached females in his vicinity is +one of Nature's most general and fundamental laws, and Regina knew it, +and that is why she had resisted and resented, as far as she had been +able, the vicinity of camp-life that threw Sybil into constant contact +with him. + +And though he made her suffer frightfully for his own gratification, +she did not blame him so blindly as another woman might have done, +because she realised it was Nature's fault more than his--Nature who +will not give that gift of intense vitality to a man without its +accompanying dangers. + +That vitality Regina loved and desired for her child. How she longed +now to tell him he was the father of the little life that was forming +within her! It was such a supreme happiness to her to know that she +was bearing his child, something that would be perhaps the beautiful +tiny image of himself. It would be a delight intensified if he knew it +too. Perhaps, if she delayed, the pleasure of ever saying those happy +words would be denied to her. Perhaps this very night he would be taken +away from her, and then he would not ever have known that which once at +least he had told her he desired so much. + +She sprang to her feet, it was such a temptation to speak, to tell +him, before he left this evening! But out of pure unselfishness she +hesitated. If in reality he wished now after all to abandon her, to put +his cousin in her place, she must, must, must leave him, as ever, free +to do so, though it killed her. + +He might already consider himself in honour bound to marry her, of that +she could not be quite sure, but she was certain that he would feel +bound if she told him she was to be the mother of his child. + +No, she would wait still and be silent. Fate would perhaps reveal to +her in some way, soon, the truth of things and how she ought to act. + +She dismissed personal thought from her mind and began to gather some +things together to take over to Sybil's tent. For, from the first, she +had strenuously opposed the girl entering hers. This was the sanctuary +of her and Everest's love. She would not have anyone to intrude there. +The whole of the camp was public. She wanted one place at least where +she could be secure of privacy. She had made a great point of this +with Everest, and he had given absolute and stringent orders that +neither Sybil nor anyone else was to disturb Mrs. Lanark in her tent. +And Regina was grateful. She felt she could not tolerate the hateful +presence of Sybil there. Everest was wonderfully good in matters like +that, where so many men fail. If Regina expressed a wish, however +little of importance it might seem to him, he exerted himself to have +it carried out. He never pooh-poohed or waved away her request. If she +wished it, that was sufficient. That same obedience he expected from +her, he exacted from everybody else to the orders he gave for her sake. +Regina was very grateful to him for this. It gave her a position in the +camp that was very pleasant, and she knew intuitively that it was a +rare quality in men. The small daily wishes of wives are generally, as +in her father's case, politely but steadily ignored. + +She cleared up the tent, and it was from Sybil's door, some two hours +later, that both the girls saw the hunting party start, a small +procession of camels, headed by the native guides, scouts and servants +with all the necessary guns, ammunition, knives, flasks, water-bottles, +flash-lamps, food-baskets, and all the rest of the necessaries for +luxurious hunting. + +Everest, having the arranging and planning of everything, mounted and +started last and had moved a few paces already from the camp, the +others being a little on ahead, when he paused and, drawing up the +camel, told it to kneel down again, which it immediately did, for the +tone of his caressing voice had the effect of reducing every camel he +mounted to docility. + +He never carried a whip or a goad, nor had the rein fastened in the +nostril of the camel, relying entirely on his voice and magnetic +influence over them to guide them. Nor had he ever struck an animal in +his life. He used to say: "A man must be a fool if he can't manage an +animal by his intellect," and it was a fact that they never disobeyed +him. + +Now Regina, watching him from the tent door, with tear-filled eyes, +admired the easy skill with which he handled his camel and dismounted. +She thought he had forgotten something and went forward to him. But +Everest had only turned back for her. He clasped her to him and kissed +her. + +"My dear, good little empress," he whispered in her ear, as he bent +over her, and Regina felt that he was pleased with her and her own +heart grew hot with delight. She threw her arms round him with +passionate fervour. + +"My emperor! You know I would die for you," she murmured back. + +Another moment and he had swung himself on to the saddle-cloth and the +camel rose, to recommence its stately march. The moon was now high, +and its light, clear and silver, flooded all the plain and illumined +the string of moving objects. One of the men looked back and saw the +incident. + +"What's up?" asked St. John, who was close beside him. "Anything gone +wrong?" + +"Oh no, it's only Everest spooning as usual." + +"Which one is it this time?" asked the doctor grimly, looking straight +ahead of him. + +"His wife, as it happens." + +There was silence for a moment and then Graham said: + +"But he's an awfully nice fellow. I don't wonder at the women all +running after him, I should be in love with him myself if I were one. +He's a marvellous person really. I don't believe he's ever lost his +temper in his life, he's such tremendous command of himself. Animals +are just as crazy about him as women. I saw him managing a horse, a +vicious brute that no one else could get near. Everest was riding it +and it began its tricks, it did everything to make a man in a rage, +but Everest never turned a hair. He kept his seat just as if he'd been +in an arm-chair, and talked to the animal the whole time and, by Jove! +the horse seemed to understand him, he settled down and was as quiet +and good as anything. Everest had never touched him once, except to +stroke his neck; he'd no whip, no spurs, nothing. I expect that's how +he manages his women, makes them do all he wants without a disagreeable +word." + +"Easy enough," mumbled the doctor, "when a man's so beastly +good-looking." + +Everest had just caught up with them, so they lapsed into silence, and +the camels all sidled together and swung forward steadily into the +silver silence of the desert night. + +Regina, left behind, stood watching them diminish and diminish into +distance with the blood racing madly in her veins and all her brain +alight with anger. She did so long and yearn to be there, up beside +him on the saddle-blanket, on the camel, swinging, swaying out into +wide space, beneath that glorious, star-filled, infinitely arching sky. +She loved being with him anywhere, and most of all riding, and on a +camel. + +The free, giant motion of the animal, the sense of strength and ease +with which its great stride goes forward, bearing its burden high above +the dust and impediments of the earth, sets the blood glowing and the +pulses dancing, and she loved it. Here and now to part with him, to +see him going to adventure, danger, risk she might not share, to be +condemned to the hot, silent tent, to sit inactive there when all her +eager, ardent frame was calling out for deeds, movement, action, hurt +cruelly. Her brain was seething in fury and rebellion as she turned her +steps slowly back to Sybil's tent. + +"Come in and shut the door, do," came the latter's voice from within, +peevish with fear. "I feel so frightened. I think they were brutes to +go and leave us alone." + +"I can't see what there is to be afraid of," returned Regina coldly, +entering and letting down the tent flap. + +Of another nature altogether, she had no fear of solitude, nor of the +desert. She would have lain down anywhere on the sand, her hand on her +rifle, her pistol in her belt, and slept like an English child in its +cot at home. + +"They are rather brutes, but they can't help it," she added absently, +and sat down on a folding camp-stool, watching the other girl begin to +undress. + +The tent interior looked cosy enough, bright with red rugs on its +sandy floor and a gilt-framed mirror swinging between the two narrow +beds--for a second one had been put in for herself, as Sybil could not +bear to be alone if Graham was no longer in the tent beside her. + +"What are you afraid of specially?" + +"Why, all these lions about!" + +Regina laughed contemptuously. + +"All these lions about! You talk as if we had been falling over lions +and unable to get into our tent door for them!" she exclaimed. "As a +fact, we've been here nearly two months and not seen one!" + +"Yes; but that was in another camp. I do believe we've got into the +districts now where they are. Regina," she added suddenly, "what does +'Hina' in Arabic mean?" + +"'Hina' means 'here.'" + +"I thought so; and 'henak,' what does that mean?" + +"'Henak' means 'there,' 'over there,' 'at a distance.'" + +"Well, that's just what I thought. Now I'll tell you what I heard those +servants saying. They were talking about lions, because I know that +word, and then one said: 'La, la mush henak, lekin hina, hina.' Now +doesn't that mean: 'No, no, it's not over there but here, here'? And he +got quite excited, and pointed just round the camp." + +Regina looked grave. + +"Why did you not tell the men?" she asked. + +"I _did_, I kept telling them about it, but nobody would listen to me. +Merton did ask the man something about it, but the others all swore +the lions were over the ridge. You know how they jabber and how they +contradict themselves and each other. My idea is, these horrid beasts +are all round us," and she shivered. The light from the centre lamp +fell on the fair, flower-like beauty of the girl, and as she let down +the gold river of her hair the blood of her companion watching her +seemed to turn into flame. She felt she would like to spring upon her +and kill her, like the lions she was talking about. + +"Well, if it's true, I am rather glad," she returned. "I'd much rather +they would come and eat us up than Everest." + +"Regina! How can you! You don't mean it!" + +"Of course I mean it," she flashed out, with extreme passion in her +tones, "to be here and know he is in danger, that's the worst agony I +can have. I would give up my life for him any time." + +"How wonderful!" returned Sybil, drawing off her shoes. "I couldn't +care for a man like that." + +"No, I don't suppose you could." + +"Good-night, I shall try to go off to sleep and forget I am in this +horrible place. How you stare, Regina! What's the matter? Won't you go +to bed?" + +"No; I shall sit up for a time. Go to sleep in peace. You are quite +safe." + +Sybil lay down on her bed, only drawing the rug partly over her. She +had a loose thin flannel gown fastened round her waist and open a +little at her neck in the hot night. It was very still within the tent, +and without there was not a sound as the moonlit hours went by. + +Regina sat like a statue, her elbow on her knee, her chin on her hand, +watching the sleeping girl. + +What mad, passionate thoughts came to her in their dark battalions and +assailed her! + +How beautiful it was, that delicate, ivory face, so exquisitely carved, +as it lay against the white canvas pillow. It was no wonder that a +man should covet it for his own, especially a man like Everest, with +his artistic eye for perfect lines. He had always admired it enough +to make him keep with him everywhere the blue velvet portrait-case he +had had in his rooms at the Rectory. His sister had said that but for +Regina he would have married her. But it was not true--Regina felt it +was not true, that she never could have satisfied him--kept him--but +yet, perhaps, beauty and name and breeding in his wife would have been +enough, and for the rest, of all that is divine in humanity--passion +and love and character--he would have sought in other women ... she did +not know, her thoughts could only whirl round in dizzy, empty circles, +outside the barrier of his implacable silence, as falling leaves might +beat and whirl round a fortress wall. She knew nothing, and in the +obscurity of another's feelings and passions there is no firm ground to +stand on. + +"It is not his fault, nor hers," she thought; "but oh! Fate! take her +away from here, leave him to me again." + +In the silence stirred a tiny sound, she heard it, and then, instantly, +quicker than thought itself, the tent flap moved and a long yellow +streak flashed by her and was upon the bed before her eyes. + +One frightful shriek rang out, then the yellow flash passed by and was +gone into the night, and the bed was empty where the golden beauty of +the girl had been. Regina had sprung to her feet, but the lion had +apparently not even seen her. + +Almost like lightning, with a rapidity that no one can believe until he +has seen it, the great beast had entered, seized its prey and gone. + +For a second, Regina stood motionless. The blinding realisation came +upon her that she stood alone in the tent and that her rival was gone +from her to a certain death. Her invocation had been heard. + +In that moment a view of her future came to her. She would be his, +alone with him again, safe, secure, protected, loved, herself and her +child. And all that was required of her was to do nothing. No one could +blame her. Fate had come to her aid. Why should she not receive back +her life and happiness at its hands? + +The temptation came upon her and gripped her for a moment so that she +could not move. + +Then she picked up her rifle, jammed her pistol more firmly in her belt +and went to the flap of the tent door and pushed it aside. + +In the bright African moonlight she saw the form of the great yellow +cat, trotting leisurely across the sand in the direction of a low +ridge of sandhill, scrub and rock that lay towards the east, obliquely +opposite to the direction in which the men had gone. The moonlight +showed her clearly its victim flung over its shoulder for its +convenience in long travel. She could see, too, it was a lioness, and +these two facts made her think that the girl was probably uninjured. +The lioness was out hunting, not for herself but for food for her cubs, +and the prey was being carefully carried back to them. She could see +there was no struggle. No screams broke the stillness. In helpless +unconsciousness the girl was being borne away to a swift, inexorable +death. And to the watcher at the tent door came again the great voice +of Self and all the cries of the Flesh saying: "Let her go! It is not +your part to save her." + +She did not know how many servants had gone with the men; doubtless +they had left some, but those probably not the most active nor the best +shots. If she took the time to go to the back of the camp and find and +rouse them, before anything could really be done in rescue the lioness +would have disappeared. The natives would talk and gesticulate, weapons +would probably not be ready, the time in which rescue could be effected +would be lost. Yet Regina would appear to have done all she could, she +would have roused the camp, she would have tried to get assistance; no +one could expect a woman to go out on foot alone to face lions in the +night, nor reproach her if she did not. + +Regina would be guiltless and Sybil for ever unable to mar her life +again. + +But as there is a magnetic pole which draws all magnets to itself, so +in this world there is that great indefinable Force of the Right which +draws all noble natures always to itself. Where they see the Good +and the Right gleaming ahead of them, there they must follow, though +stones cut their feet and thorns tear their flesh. The Right, through +everything, pulls them to itself. And it drew Regina's feet swiftly +over the threshold of the tent now. Silently, quickly, gripping her +rifle, she followed in the wake of the lioness. And Temptation walked +beside her, trying vainly to suffocate her soul with its dark wings. +She knew that in the effort before her she must probably surrender her +own life, and the greatness of the sacrifice, the immensity of the +demand made upon her appealed to her, called upon the heroism within +her. + +For some miles the lioness went on at the same easy trot, and Regina +followed swiftly, but unable to shorten the distance between them. Then +the yellow form began to spring and bound, and for a second now and +then was lost to view, and her pursuer knew that she had reached the +scrub by the rocks. Then the tawny form disappeared altogether and only +the human figure remained, hurrying over the sand in the moonlight. + +At last she reached the scrub amongst the rising sandhills and here she +went very cautiously, searching for the mouth of the lair she guessed +was hidden there. She stood still for a moment, listening for a sound +to guide her. A faint scuffling noise came from a gully beside her, +deep down between two black faces of rock and overgrown with stunted +thorn and the disk-leaved cactus. Down, down through these, one step at +a time, silently, holding her heavy rifle above her head to avoid the +catching thorn, she descended. The moon, that had been obscured by a +tiny cloud, broke suddenly again into full brilliance and she saw she +was at the mouth of the cave. + +Calm, cool, without a thought of her own life and beauty that she was +taking to destruction, only filled with an intense determination to +save another, she stooped down and entered the lair. The entrance was +low, but worn smooth and easy of access, once reached, by the passing +and repassing of a great body. Within the cave the floor was sandy, and +the rock roof so near to it she could not stand upright, but had to +move forward crouchingly, with bent knees. Through the obscurity of the +inside she strained her eyes, and there, opposite her, far back from +the entrance, she saw four green spots of phosphorescent fire against +the rock background. She paused, holding herself very still. The warm, +suffocating scent of the den filled her nostrils; she heard snuffing +and scrambling noises, and then, as the darkness became more and more +clear to her eyes, she descried the forms of two little yellow cubs +tumbling over each other on some brush in the corner and snuffing at +her with curiosity. The mother was not there. Regina looked round. On a +ledge of rock jutting out from one side lay the unconscious form of her +companion, her loose sleeping gown all gathered together by her neck, +where the lioness had held her, but apparently otherwise untouched. + +Regina's heart leaped up in a great sense of triumph. All personal +feeling was lost and she was only intent now on her heroic duty to save. + +As she had thought, the lioness had been out hunting, not for immediate +food, but for the sake of filling up her larder, and having secured one +victim, dissatisfied, perhaps, with the size of it, she had left it +there and started out again to look for more. + +Speed was the great necessity now! Regina felt that if she could get +away from the den and cross the desert to the camp in time, her success +was won. She turned to the rock and lifted the girl's limp body into +her arms. One of the cubs ran out and snuffed and growled at her like +a puppy and she nearly fell over its soft body as it waddled to the +entrance with her. But in a moment more she stood upright outside and +drew in a deep breath of the pure desert air. + +Up, up through the brake and the tangle of tearing thorn and poisonous +cactus, she ascended, panting with the burden of the girl and the +rifle in her arms. She held her against her breast, one arm under +her shoulders, the other under her knees, and the rifle clasped flat +along the girl's side in her right hand. How she blessed her splendid +strength of limb and lung and muscle coming up that thorny, rocky +path. The top of the sandhills gained, the worst was over, smooth and +easy to travel lay before her the hard sand of the desert. Down from +the sandhills in safety she stood now on the level and, breathing +deeply, she started a steady, even walk over the moonlight plain. Her +burden lay so still in her arms she feared the shock had killed her. +But the body felt limp and warm; she could only hope she was merely +unconscious. She walked on and the sweat in the hot night broke from +her forehead and poured down her face, her knees trembled from fatigue. +From behind a faint light of the coming dawn began to shine on the +desert. Still very far in the distance she thought her strained eyes +could distinguish the white peaks of their camp. Would the men have +returned? Would he be there? How would---- Without her having heard +a sound, there was a rush of wind past her, a blow on her neck and +shoulders of something she could not see and the next instant she was +flat on the sand, the body of the girl beside her, over which stood +the lioness, growling and snuffing suspiciously. Confused by the scent +of the den and the cubs, the animal paused there. + +Regina scrambled to her knees, raised her rifle, took aim and fired, +over the body of the girl, straight at the snowy breast of the lioness. +There was a roar of agony and rage and the beast was upon her. Her +bullet had found its heart, but it still had strength and time to take +its vengeance. Without pain, for the girl was above the region of pain +in that excitement that knows neither suffering nor fear, she felt its +teeth close cruelly on her shoulder and break it, and its claws sink +deep into her breast and back and tear the flesh. She turned her head +away, cheek down to the sand, to save her sight, for she still had +work to do, and so for a second remained motionless. The great beast's +growling turned to long moans, slowly its teeth and claws relaxed. Then +suddenly it rolled clear from her and lay still. + +Regina picked herself up and stood, the blood pouring from her shoulder +and chest, but the dauntless soul, strong and unbroken, determined to +conquer. + +With her left and uninjured arm she drew the girl's body up to her and +walked forward, strong in that last great gush of vitality that Nature +gives, opening all those reserves for which there is no future need. + +Half-an-hour later, as the dawn came up over the ridge, she reached the +camp. + +Her eyes were dim, and vaguely she saw the press of figures, the fires, +the standing camels. Her head was light and a strange singing filled +her ears, but she heard the word "Regina" come in his voice to her, +full of agony and love and passion, and she staggered towards him, +livid, speechless, her clothing drenched with blood that still came +slowly from her shoulder. + +It seemed to her swaying vision that she was instantly surrounded by +figures and faces, a thousand faces swam round her, her burden was +taken from her, then came the roughness of sand to her cheek and lips +as she fell, and then black unconsciousness. + +The doctor and Everest knelt beside her; at his orders all the others +fell back and the cool breeze that blows in the desert at dawn came +to her unimpeded. With hands that did not show the slightest quiver, +though the tension of agony in his brain was so great, it seemed as if +it must break it, Everest loosened her cartridge belt and drew it from +her. + +"Good God! her right arm!" He exclaimed, as it fell unnaturally, +broken, as he moved her and suddenly the words shot across his brain in +its anguish, "if some love business does not cripple her." + +The doctor forced a little brandy between her white lips, but she did +not move, she lay there under Everest's eyes, the gay, radiant creature +he had left, now crushed and senseless, a little heap of torn flesh and +broken bones and blood-stained clothing. + +It seemed to him that all the agony of a hundred lives of pain was +forced into his brain at that sight. + +"We must get this off," the doctor muttered, indicating the black and +stiffening blouse; it was already torn down by the lioness's claws at +the back, and the under-linen bodice and flesh and skin with it. St +John and Merton, who were standing by, turned away, unable to bear the +sight of all that white loveliness mangled and destroyed. Everest, pale +as ashes, but perfectly calm, drew and cut away the stuff, piece by +piece, with infinite skill and care. + +No one seemed to think of Sybil; after the first hasty pronouncement of +the doctor that she was alive and uninjured, she had been carried to +her tent. Merton had given some orders about her, then he had come back +to Everest's side, but Regina herself, as sense struggled back to her, +asked as she first unclosed her eyes: + +"Is she all right? Did I save her?" + +"Yes, my sweet, my brave darling, you did," Everest answered, bending +over her. Their eyes met, and a little smile played in hers as she saw +the fire of love in his. + +"I'm glad," she said faintly. The agony was intense now that action +was over. Her eyelids quivered and then grew still as she lapsed into +senselessness again. + +Merton, who was watching her face, turned to St John and gripped his +arm. + +"Oh, St John, this is too horrible. If she dies what shall I do? Why +did I leave Sybil with her?" His face was working convulsively. St John +drew him away. + +The sun was getting quite hot, in that instant way it has in Africa; as +soon as its rays are well over the horizon they begin to burn. + +The doctor wanted to get her into the shelter of the tent. As he +touched her to raise her she groaned. + +"Let Everest lift me," she murmured, and the doctor drew back. + +"She can stand it better from you," he said to Everest, and the latter +slipped his arm very gently under her and raised her. It was agony to +be touched, frightful pain to be moved, but she was silent in his arms +as he lifted her and carried her into their tent. + +He laid her on the bed, on her unwounded side, and put a pillow to +support the broken, useless arm, and then bent and kissed her as, in +all their days of passion, he had not done yet. She saw in the anguish +on his face at that moment his suffering, that he showed in no other +way. + +"Do not grieve so," she whispered. "I am so strong. I shall recover all +right. Tell me, did you find any lion?" + +He shook his head. "No, not where we went. That's why we came back. +They were on this side." + +"Then I did have the first shot at lion in this camp, as you said I +ought to. How strange it all seems! I shot it out there to the east of +the camp. I want you to have that skin. Will you send after it? Get it +before it is spoiled, and always keep it. Everest, you know--I saved +her--for _you_." + +"I know, I know," he answered, and his voice told her the words were +wrung out of his inmost soul. "But I only want you. It has all been a +mistake, and I felt I could not explain. You are my very life, dearest, +no one else is anything." + +"Come, come, this won't do!" broke in upon them from the door. "No +talking, no excitement, please." + +The doctor had gone for his case of probes and dressings. He stood now +with it in his hand and disapproval on his face. Everest moved a little +from the bed. + +"Leave me with the doctor for a moment," Regina said. "I want to ask +him something," and Everest left the tent to give orders for the body +of the lioness to be brought into camp. + +As he came back from doing this, he came upon the doctor just leaving +the tent and stopped. + +"Will she live?" he asked, and the doctor thought in all his experience +he had never seen so much suffering and anxiety on a person's face, +combined with such perfect self-control and calm, and thought what a +splendid pair they were. + +"No one can say," he replied, "but I should think there is every chance +of her doing so. I was just coming out to find you. This probing of the +wounds is a most painful process, but it's extremely necessary; all our +success depends on getting them clean. They are all choked up now with +clotted blood and bits of linen driven in by the beast's claws. Your +wife's just as brave as she can be, but she must suffer intensely. Your +influence is so good over her, you'd better be present while I'm doing +it: you soothe her, mesmerise her in some way, and that's better than +an anæsthetic. I believe she'd let you mince her up alive and never +complain. It's a nasty business for you seeing it done, but if you can +stand it, it's better for her." + +"Of course I will," rejoined Everest. "I was coming back now to her," +and both men entered the tent together. + +It was a hideous scene of four long hours of suffering that followed, +but suffering illumined by those noblest qualities in humanity that +shine out like lamps here and there and throw their light across the +stained pages of humanity's black record as a whole. + +The girl never flinched nor groaned as the probes went deep into the +long slashes from shoulder to waist made by the lion's claws, nor when +the forced-in linen was drawn out from the wound above her breast, nor +when her broken arm was handled and set. Of all the great horrible +pain she was suffering the men were given no sign to increase their +difficulty and labour. + +Everest at first held her hand and spoke to her, putting to her lips +from time to time the liquid the doctor ordered, but when the wounds +were clean it was his strong, slight hand that, without a quiver of +the muscles, replaced as far as was possible the torn fragments of +flesh and strips of skin exactly and perfectly in their place in the +hope that they would grow again, reunite and join without a serious +scar. The union of brain between these two was so complete that, though +Regina had not uttered any word on the subject, to Everest it seemed as +if her whole body, as it lay there so broken and wounded, was crying +out to him: "My beauty, my beauty! Save that if you can for the sake +of our love." And the doctor watched with surprise the admirable skill +and infinite care with which he pieced all the satin surface together. +Some of the places were too deep to be treated in any way but stitched +up, and this the doctor did himself. Then they dressed and bandaged the +whole of the back and shoulder and breast and set and bandaged the +broken arm, and only at the very last Regina quietly fainted as Everest +kissed her and told her it was finished. + +When she recovered consciousness she passed almost immediately into +a deep sleep. She was so very, very tired and everything was done +now, and he was pleased with her, so nothing mattered and the sense +of suffocating heat in the tent as the noon rays poured down on the +canvas, the buzz of the flies, the sight of the instruments and basins +and bandages, the long ache and smart of her whole body, all these were +blotted out as the soft, velvet darkness of sleep enfolded her. + +The doctor turned to Everest. + +"Now you must turn in and take a rest. Out riding all last night and +then four hours of this. Tell them to send in that extra little bed +here and then get a good sleep. If you don't you'll be done up and no +good to nurse her." + +"But it's the same for you, doctor," rejoined Everest, smiling. He was +standing erect at the foot of the bed, without any sign of fatigue. +"You've been without sleep as long as I have; you want a rest." + +"Oh, nonsense. I'm not leading the life you are and taking it out of +myself all ways at once. I'll get that bed in and then off to sleep you +go. When you wake up you can watch her and let me doze a bit." And he +went out. + +A little later, when he had seen his two patients, as he called them +to himself--for the pallor and extreme mental distress of Everest's +face told him that, unless there were some alleviation of the strain, +physical collapse must follow--asleep in the big tent, he crossed the +strip of fiery sand to the two little white ones opposite of Sybil and +her brother. He entered the girl's and found her white and shivering in +her bed with the rug drawn up to her neck. Merton was standing beside +her. + +"Why doesn't Everest come to see me?" Sybil asked directly the doctor +appeared. "It was all so awful for me. He might have come." + +"Mr. Lanark has not had a moment in which to think of anything but +his wife and her suffering; he's been working with me there for her +these last four hours, and now I've made him go to bed. He's utterly +exhausted with it all," the doctor answered, with some asperity. + +"I don't believe I shall ever get over it," moaned Sybil, "that awful +beast coming on to the bed. I think it's coming again every minute." + +"You had better try and brace up, and not give way to your nerves like +this," he returned. "Your friend shot the lioness, so you've nothing +to fear from the same one anyway. You'd better get up and have some +luncheon with the rest of us. There's nothing on earth the matter with +you." + +"Oh, doctor, how can you! You don't know what I feel! I couldn't eat! I +want to see Everest. I am sure he would come if he were told." And her +eyes began to fill with tears. + +"I'll go and get him, Sybil; don't cry," exclaimed Merton, who resented +a little the doctor's attitude to his sister. He approached the door, +but the doctor barred his progress. + +"You shall not go," he exclaimed angrily, "and disturb him now. I won't +be responsible for his life, I tell you, if you drag him up from his +sleep and bully him. Let your sister wait till the evening. If she has +the smallest consideration for him she will do that at least." + +The doctor was a great burly man and Merton could not get by him. He +stopped sulkily and Sybil said: + +"Don't go, Merton, I'll wait." + +"I should think you would," grunted the doctor, "when you've caused all +this trouble already!" + +The contrasts of humanity, he was thinking--Regina in her agonies had +declared they were not to worry about her, she was not suffering, she +would soon recover. This girl, untouched, persisted in lying in bed and +magnifying her little woes. + +Regina's first inquiry had been for Sybil. Sybil never troubled herself +once to ask about the one who had rescued her! + +"Well, if you won't get up and lunch," he said aloud, "you'd best have +a sleeping draught and try to go to sleep." + +But Sybil did not want to be put to sleep, she wanted to lie and shiver +and look ill and complain and talk about herself. So the doctor put the +draught back in his pocket and went off to the dining tent, where he +found St John, and the two men sat down to luncheon alone. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +THE REACTION + + +That same evening, late, when the moon was pouring silver over the +encampment and over the level plain, and the pink and orange ridges of +rocky hills that lay to the west and east, and the air was cool and +still, Everest and Sybil sat in the latter's tent, of which the flap +was securely shut and tied. They were alone. The girl was dressed now, +and sitting on a folding-chair. She looked pale, and her face was tense +with anxiety, her eyes distracted. + +Everest sat opposite her, restored by his long sleep, calm and entirely +composed. On his face was an unusual expression of severity: it looked +implacable, absolutely immovable, like a countenance of stone. Sybil +clasped her hands and wrung them together in her lap. + +"Oh, Everest, don't say such things," she said, in a low tone. "Don't +say you won't marry me--any time. Not just now, I know you can't--not +for some time, perhaps, but promise you will some time--when we are +back in Europe, say. It is so dreadful to me to think of--of--all that +has happened, if we are not to marry after all." + +"Why did you seek such a position, then?" he asked, looking across at +her steadily; and she, meeting the gaze of those large eyes full of +fiery darkness like the African sky at midnight, felt her soul sink +and faint in a mingled anguish of shame and despair and hopeless +longing for him. + +"You knew that I was with a woman I loved, and who loved me. Why did +you come and try to force yourself, as you did from the first, between +us?" + +"I felt sure you were not married. Regina was only one of all the many +women you have had with you for a time. She would have to give way to +any woman you wanted to marry." + +Everest's face grew still more set and cold, if that were possible. + +"You see you chose to assume all that, and assumed wrongly," he said +quietly, and his tones were like falling ice. "Had you accepted +the idea that we were married you would have been wiser. Regina is +virtually my wife. I should never place any other woman than her in +that position. I shall be glad if you will try to grasp that now." + +Sybil, unable to bear his gaze, his voice, beside herself with +wretchedness, burst into tears. + +She slipped from her chair to the floor and put her hands pleadingly on +his knees. + +"You can't mean it, Everest, I am sure you don't. It would be the +wrecking of my life." + +Everest's face did not change; he looked down upon her unmoved. She +was very beautiful, but in that moment he did not even admire her. The +passion for Regina, stirred now into a great blaze, seemed literally to +hide this girl from him; moreover, she had deceived, entrapped and was +now trying to coerce him. + +"Do you not see that if I did marry you it would mean the wrecking of +Regina's life?" + +"I have not to think or care about Regina!" + +"Did she not think of you when she followed you into the lion's cave? +You would not be living at all now but for her. For you she is lying +there in agony, maimed and mutilated, that you may be here safe, and +you talk of not having to think of her!" His voice shook with anger. + +"Rubbish! She didn't do it for me, she did it for you." + +This was perfectly true, but it was the worst thing she could have +said in her own cause. It came over Everest with heartrending force, +the truth of it. Regina had done it for him. For him she was now lying +crushed and broken, with all her glorious vitality laid by perhaps for +ever. + +"For me, well, then, yes, for me; and you want me to desert her in +return, to consider you before her. You talk of my duty to you when +she has all but given up her life for me! I have no duty whatever to +anyone, except to her!" + +"Nonsense, Everest; you know it's no use to talk like that. You must +marry me now after what has occurred. You knew very well I considered +myself engaged to you or I should never have allowed it." + +"Allowed!" + +Everest only uttered that one word. His face was very pale; his lips +compressed into one hard line; his brows contracted. Vividly the whole +scheme of the last two months stood before him; like a raised map in +black and white relief. The coming of this girl and her brother to +join their expedition, their insistence on being in the same camp with +him, the daily, hourly companionship she had forced upon him, the +persistent court, the final deliberately compromising situations, the +seduction of his senses, the difficult overthrow of his reason. + +As in Regina's case he had taken all blame to himself, and knew that +he had abused her innocence and trusting love, so here his conscience +absolutely acquitted him. + +Just then the string of the door flap was pulled undone from the +outside, the flap pushed aside and Merton came in. It seemed to Everest +as if his coming had been arranged beforehand. Sybil rose and sat back +in her chair. Everest did not move. Merton looked from one to the other. + +"I can guess what you've been discussing," he said rather awkwardly. +"Look here, Everest. Sybil has told me everything, and I really do +think you ought to do something about it." + +"What would you propose my doing?" returned Everest coldly, looking +steadily at Merton, who flushed uncomfortably under the older man's +gaze. + +"Well, marry her, or promise to marry her when we all meet again in +Europe, because I suppose we'll have to break up now. She's had such a +shock she wants to get out of this, and I imagine you'll be tied here +some time yet; but I'd like some understanding as to what you're going +to do before we leave." + +"I have already told your sister I can do nothing." + +"But you know, it's all very well," remonstrated Merton hotly; "we're +cousins, and you have some responsibility to her. She says you have +been intimate, that you forced her----" + +Everest rose from his chair with a sudden movement. + +"You believed that--of me?" he asked, and Merton shrank under his eyes +and tone. + +"I don't know what to believe," he said sulkily. + +"Will you repeat that accusation, Sybil, in my presence?" he asked, +turning to her, but Sybil could not raise her eyes. She turned scarlet +and looked down on the camp-table beside her. + +"No, no," she faltered hurriedly, "I never said exactly that. Merton +must have misunderstood." + +A look of contempt passed over Everest's face as he turned again to +Merton in silence, his eyes seemed to say, "You see what a liar she is." + +"Will you admit your relations with her?" + +"If Sybil wishes me to, yes, I admit that, otherwise I should never +have admitted it to anyone." + +"Then you owe her some reparation." + +"I owe her _nothing_," rejoined Everest, with some heat. "It was a +mutual amusement, and she understood perfectly from the very first it +was not, and could not be, anything more. I decline to discuss the +matter any further. It is done, over. As far as I am concerned it is +effaced from my mind. What do you want, Merton? Do you want a duel with +me over it, or what?" + +"No, oh no, of course not," Merton replied hastily; "that can do no +good. I want you to promise to marry her some time, next year, say. Why +not, Everest? It has always been thought and talked of in our families, +and Sybil has as much as you have. We have all hoped you two would +marry." + +"I refuse absolutely. You must be made of stone if you can talk of my +marrying your sister when the woman I love is between life and death +because of her devotion and self-sacrifice. Sybil would not be here at +all to make her mad charges and demands but for her. She is my wife, or +will be as soon as I can make her so. It is useless to go on talking. +Let me pass." + +Merton moved from the door and Everest, without a glance at Sybil, went +out. + +Coming out of her tent, white with anger and vibrating with an +indignation he could not repress, little as his general impulse was to +condemn others, he ran almost against the doctor who was coming from +Regina. + +"How is she?" he asked. "Is she out of danger now? For God's sake tell +me she is." + +"Don't excite yourself so; yes, yes, she is out of all danger, humanly +speaking. I see no reason why she should not quite recover. Of course +her condition complicates matters a little, but, as far as one can +judge, she is going on very well indeed." + +Everest stared at him. + +"Her condition? But she was in splendid health when this happened!" + +The doctor stared in his turn. + +"Health? Oh yes, but I was alluding to her state--being enceinte, I +mean." + +Everest paled till he was whiter than the drill he was wearing. + +"Is it so?" he asked, after a second's blank gaze at the not too +friendly face regarding him, "and she--did she know it herself?" + +"Oh yes; I should think so, undoubtedly. Yes, I know she did, for the +first thing she asked me when we were alone was, would all this make +any difference to the child." + +"And what did you say?" Everest asked, with difficulty; his throat +seemed dry; a cramp stretched round his heart. + +"I told her no one could say, but quite possibly it would make no +difference since it was so near the beginning." + +"Why did she not tell me?" asked Everest blankly, incredulous still. + +"Perhaps she thought it wouldn't be welcome news," grunted the doctor +grumpily. He had scant sympathy with Everest's conduct as regarded +his cousin, though he had shown such genuine and passionate devotion +towards Regina to-day that the doctor was inclined to be lenient. + +"May I see her now? Go to her?" Everest asked. + +"Yes. She's had a splendid sleep, the best thing in the world for her. +Only don't let her talk too much, or excite her in any way." + +Everest nodded in assent and went on. A strange feeling of delight, +of triumph, of joy in his possession of her, filled suddenly his +veins. And she had known it all this time and had not told him! Even, +he remembered, she seemed to equivocate a little once when he had +questioned her. + +He came into the tent with a quick step. The moon rays, softened by the +white canvas through which they streamed, filled the interior with pale +light, and a small lamp burned at the side of the tent under a shade. +Regina was lying with her head raised on a couple of pillows and the +soft masses of her fair hair fell over the edge of the bed and in its +long waving lines to the floor. The bandages disfigured her upper arm +and shoulder, but the other, bare in the intense heat, showed warmly +white above the blanket. The extreme pallor of her face threw up in +new beauty the sweeping dark lines of her brows and the wide-open, +light-filled eyes. She was looking towards the door and saw him enter. +His cheek was flushed, his eyes kindling and full of fire. He looked +like a man who had drunk exhilarating and unaccustomed wine. He crossed +to her. He did not dare to lift her, not even touch her as he longed to +do, to crush her to him. He bent over her. + +"My very, very own, my life, my soul! I am so glad." + +She also did not dare to move her body, but she lifted her bare left +arm and put it round his neck. + +"Are you?" And her eyes grew radiant and full of intense passion as +they searched his face in the tender light. "I could not tell--now--and +under all the circumstances ... I thought it might only seem a tie to +you, but oh! if you are glad, Everest, I cannot tell you the delight it +is to me! To know that I am to have a child by you--the most perfectly +beautiful thing I have ever seen!" + +"You will marry me now, won't you, for _its_ sake anyway?" + +"Not for its sake, no, only for yours, if you really wish it. Do tell +me the truth, Everest, it is so important for all the rest of our +lives. Do you wish, would you like Sybil in my place?" + +"Sybil! Never mention her name to me," he said, while the blood surged +all across his face and then left it white again. "I hate it, loathe +it and everything connected with her. I hope I may never see her again. +I only want to blot out the detestable memory of her! Is that enough +for you?" he asked passionately. "Do you want me to say any more?" + +Regina lifted her left hand in protest. + +"It is quite enough, kiss me, let us forget it all." + +There was silence in the tent for a little while. Over the girl from +head to foot seemed to flow a deep peace and joy like some magic balm, +lulling every pain and every doubtful thought. The great loss of blood +she had suffered produced in her a physical tranquillity, an attitude +of mental acquiescence. + +It was different with Everest. The long sleep had quickly repaired the +strain of the previous hours, he was in perfect physical condition, +the blood flowing at full tide and pressure in his veins and his +whole brain was on fire with anger and irritation under Sybil's +accusations. His whole being seemed in a violent turmoil, and on the +crest of the storm within him rode like a white seagull, joyous and +buoyant, the thought of his child--the last idea that had been thrown +so unexpectedly into his mind, the final shock in the whole series +of that terrible day, and through all the tempest of his brain it +seemed to flash in and out among the storm-clouds on its white and +glorious wings. He had always loved Regina more deeply than any other +woman--she had all those qualities which appealed to every strain in +his own nature, and now to him their love and passion and union seemed +complete. This last action of hers in saving Sybil was one a man +might be proud of, and it had not been done by a man but by the woman +he loved, and while she was bearing his child, and the two facts, +intertwisted as they were, seemed like a double steel cable binding him +to her in the most passionate devotion. + +He passed his arm under her head amongst the soft waves of her hair, +and she seemed to feel the vibration of all the eager tumult of emotion +in him pass through it. She raised her eyelids with a quick smile. + +"It is such good news, such a pleasure to me. Why did you not tell me +sooner if you knew?" he questioned wonderingly. + +Brought up in the knowledge of and accustomed to ordinary women, he +could not grasp entirely the heroic greatness of this girl's nature. + +"My dearest, I could not tell you at a time when you were leaning +towards separation from me. It would have seemed like trying to tie you +to me against your will, to make some claim upon you, which I would +never do." Her head turned restlessly on his arm. The light flooding +her face showed it pale and drawn with pain. + +"But it makes such a difference," he pursued. "Even if it did not +affect my wishes and desires, my duty would be----" + +Regina looked up with a smile in her eyes, so darkened by suffering. + +"Oh, Everest, what has duty to do with passionate love like ours? Once +before you thought it your duty to marry me, and I would not have it. +Don't you see that I want you to be happy? That is all I care about. Do +your duty to the world, to others if you like, but do not think of it +where I am concerned. Let it be all passion, pleasure, desire, with me +or--nothing." + +"But then there would be another to be considered, provided for, my +sweet. Did you think of that?" Everest rejoined very softly. + +"I knew I could always make much more money than I want for myself, the +child could have had the rest." + +Her voice was very faint, the light showed the drops of sweat standing +out on her ashy forehead. + +Everest bent over her. + +"Are you in pain now?" + +"Oh yes; I ache, I ache in every fibre; it is the constriction of lying +so long without moving; but you must not worry about it; there will be +such lots of it to bear!" + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +VAE VICTIS + + +A wonderful deep bank of orange glowed all across the western sky, and +the light of the sunset fell like a mantle over the limitless expanse +of the desert stretching away for ever, as it seemed, beneath the +flaming clouds. Round the camp that lay between the rocky ridges to +east and west was some stir and excitement. A train of camels bearing +tents and outfits stood ready waiting the signal to depart. A group of +figures were in parley before the three white tents that still stood +pitched upon the sand. + +Sybil and Merton, with their part of the camp, their servants, guides +and camels, were going. + +The figures waited in silence outside the closed doors of Regina's +tent. In a moment or two Everest came out. + +"You can come and say good-bye to her now. She is waiting for you," +he said, as he joined the group. Graham started forward immediately. +Sybil's feet seemed to cling to the sand, she hesitated and murmured +half inaudibly: "I don't want to see her." + +Everest said nothing. He merely looked at her, and Sybil walked forward +mechanically and entered the tent. + +On the bed, with her head raised, lay Regina, her great flashing eyes +turned towards them all as they pressed in. Her face was like marble +in its whiteness, even her lips were colourless. Her whole shoulder, +right arm and side were a mass of bandages, the soft cloudy yellow +of her hair lay above her forehead and fell over her left arm. Sybil +approached the bed and said nervously: + +"Good-bye, Regina, I hope you will get over it soon. I expect you +will. Everest is such a splendid nurse." There was a half-suppressed +sigh at the end of her words, and as they fell on the silence in the +tent all the three men who heard it glanced involuntarily at Everest. +It was quite clear in that moment to them all that of the two women, +Sybil, standing upright, erect, untouched in her full power and beauty, +envied bitterly the one who was lying crushed and broken, maimed and +disfigured in the shadow of death, at her feet, simply because of the +delight of this man's presence that she would have about her which +would outweigh delirium and fever and pain. It came in upon them all +for a moment, a glimpse of the greatness of a woman's love, even when +it has a base and selfish form, the value of it, the immense proportion +it has in a woman's scheme of things. + +They felt the truth, that Sybil, fresh and strong and sound, only +longed to change place with the other, shattered and in pain, to know +his touch and his kiss. + +The colour came hotly to Everest's cheek as he felt all the men turn +their eyes on him and heard the keen envy in Sybil's tone, and he said +hurriedly: + +"No nursing, I am afraid, can help her much in such suffering as hers." + +Regina put out her left hand and smiled, letting her eyes wander over +the wonderfully beautiful lines of the face above her which she had +rescued from destruction. + +"Good-bye, Sybil; I am so glad to know you are not hurt at all." + +Their hands clasped, but there was no warmth in Sybil's pressure. She +knew that the other, helpless, perhaps about to die, had yet--won; that +she was absolutely content and happy, and that the one who walked out +of the tent into life and freedom was vanquished. She turned abruptly. + +"Can I go now?" she said almost rudely to Everest, and he held up the +door flap for her in silence and stood back for her to pass. + +Graham's farewell was very different from his sister's. He fell on his +knees beside the low tent bed and took the unwounded hand. His face was +as white as hers, and looked drawn and livid as he raised it to his +host, who was standing with his arms folded at Regina's feet, his eyes +fixed on her. + +"Everest, give me leave to say good-bye to her alone," he entreated, +and Everest made a signal to the others and they went out, leaving +Graham sobbing at her side, his tears falling on her hand. + +Outside in the hot, ruddy light that the west was throwing on the +desert before it donned its violet evening robe of twilight and cool +silver cloak, Everest lifted Sybil on to her riding camel for the last +time and wondered at himself for the sense of hatred he felt for her. +Only such a short time before and his whole frame had vibrated with +passion and longing for her, in that very same action, and now the +sickening sense of aversion was so great as the slight light figure +touched his arms that he had to use all his self-command to prevent her +seeing it. She saw his face pale with the effort, but only thought he +was shaken with emotion at their final parting. + +The camel rose to its feet and rocking, swaying, lifted her into the +air, far above him, but she bent down and in the crimson light her face +hung over him. + +"Everest, good-bye; but it is not for long, is it? You will come up to +Scotland soon, won't you--I can never forget." + +She saw a new expression pass over his face which she did not +understand; but how beautiful, how wonderful his face was, no matter +what look it wore. She gazed upon it wistfully. Oh, to be in Regina's +place, to be lying in that tent, waited on, tended by, caressed and +loved by him! How bitterly she envied her! + +"Good-bye, Sybil! Please do not think of our meeting again. I do not +wish it, and if it has to be I shall regret it." Sybil sat dumb, +stupefied, feeling mad with a useless misery. + +"How can you be so unkind just at the last," she whispered. + +"I do not want to be unkind, but I don't wish you to look forward to +impossibilities." + +Sybil could not answer. There was an iron inflexibility in his tone +against which all words of hers would seem to break in vain. She sat +upright on the camel, and Everest fell back to speak to Graham, who +came towards him from the tent. + +The men shook hands coldly, without any demonstration either of +friendliness or enmity. All the events of that wretched camping had +rolled into the past, and no words and no acts could alter them now. + +When Merton had mounted the whole line started and moved off slowly to +the west, making for the next stopping place, which they hoped to reach +before dawn, and where they would rest through the heat of the day. The +red of the sunset hung in a fiery glow before them, in the east behind +them was rising steadily the silver moon. + +Sybil's brain seemed to swim in mists of rage as she was borne forward. +From the very first she had planned and schemed and worked for herself +with that steady singleness of aim which is supposed to ensure success, +and yet she had failed, failed and lost. Regina, unselfish, careless, +reckless, she had won. _She_ had trusted to Everest, and he had not +denied _her_ claims. Then she had risked her life, thrown herself +absolutely into the jaws of death, and yet she had not been called +upon to pay the full price, she had been allowed to come out of it all +alive and crowned as a heroine. It was not like life, it was like a +Sunday school tale, where the good are always saved and praised and +the selfish are always punished. Sybil ground her teeth and the tears +brimmed over her eyes. Why was _she_ so favoured? Girls who lived as +Regina was doing were abandoned every day, yet Everest meant to marry +her. She knew he would never have spoken as he had unless he meant it. +People who risked their lives for others generally had to give them up. +Why should she be spared and come back smiling, to be nursed by him to +health again? + +As the camel swung forward, bearing her away from the camp and that +dear figure standing there, a suffocating sense of the injustice of +Fate, an agonised realisation of failure, rode beside her into the dark +shades of the falling night. The three men turned back into the camp +when the procession grew indistinct in the red distance. + +"It's good of you to stay, St John," remarked Everest. "I am afraid it +may be dull work for you now." + +"Not a bit, not a bit," he returned. "I didn't like the idea of leaving +you. I might come in useful with the nursing and watching, perhaps, as +an extra hand. And I'll have a look in at those lions now we've got on +to them." + +That same night, when the ring of protecting fires had been lighted +round the camp and all the lamps were lighted, the native servants +brought round to Regina's tent the skin of the lioness. They had not +yet finished the dressing and preparing of it, which would take fully a +week, but they thought she would like to see it, and Everest let them +come in and hold it up before her at the foot of her bed. + +It was a magnificent skin; the lioness was a large one, and had been in +splendid condition. A little colour came into Everest's face from pride +at his pupil as he saw it, but Regina's own eyes filled with tears. +The skin was so golden, so beautiful, with a sheen like satin on it, +the breast part so snowy white where the cruel hole her rifle had made +showed its rusty coloured edges. + +"Oh, Everest, I feel so sorry for her! Poor mother, and what will the +cubs do now? Will they die if she no longer is there to feed them?" + +Everest laughed at this view of things. + +"They may not keep so fat now she is no longer able to supply them with +human beings for breakfast, but they will probably get on all right. +They'll go and forage for themselves. The mother goes on hunting for +them long after they can hunt quite well. Let them take away the skin, +dearest, if it distresses you. I can't have you crying over anything." +And he told the men to take it away, and give every attention to the +curing of it and do it as perfectly as possible. For it was her gift to +him and he knew she wanted him to keep and value it. + +Day after day passed slowly by over the white tent in the desert, where +such terrible, physical suffering struggled hour by hour to dominate +the spirit of happiness--in vain. Regina lay in pain and was content, +and Everest, torn with anxiety, harrowed by the sight of suffering he +could not assuage, passing sleepless nights and long weary days at +her bedside, was yet happy too. So strange a witch, so essentially a +coquette is Happiness! Men spread nets for her feet and prepare chains +to bind her airy wings, and just when they fancy she is securely +bound to them they look round and she is gone! And those who with +tear-blinded eyes have thought they had renounced her for ever, as they +have said good-bye, dear Happiness, she has leapt to their heart and +said she would never leave them. She will fly from the millionaire, +suffocated in the pomp of his palace, to nestle so closely at the side +of some one of Life's outcasts toiling in the dust of the road. She is +bound by no laws, owes no allegiance, and those who do not court her +she follows most. And here in the tent of fever and apprehension, of +agony and tedium, she chose to take up her residence with these two. +To Everest, in the violent reaction of mind and body, which had thrown +him into the extreme of passion for this woman, it was a pleasure to +deny himself, to wait upon her and suffer for her sake. He watched +and waited on Regina with untiring devotion. At first, while there +was great danger of fever, he never slept at all through the night, +sitting by her wakeful and intent on watching the changes of her face, +snatching for himself what little sleep he could in the day while the +doctor took her in charge; and through all the hot long noontide hours +he was there by her, reading to her when she could listen, watching +her if she slept. And often the lions roared about the camp and his +whole blood leapt up in a call upon him to go out into the old danger +and excitement that he loved, but he checked and repressed himself and +let them challenge him in vain. He knew if he left her now she would +be anxious, nervous about him, and those feelings would bring on fever +and retard her recovery. St John went out on several hunts, taking the +guides and men with him, but neither Everest nor the doctor moved from +the camp through all the burning weeks. They had their reward, for +never did a patient progress more smoothly and evenly towards recovery +than Regina. The iron fortitude of her nature, that enabled her to +lie for hours without moving, resulted in her arm setting and joining +perfectly. The absolute and silent resignation that she imposed upon +herself kept the fever at bay. + +One day when St John was out lion-hunting--fired by his success of +yesterday, when he had brought back in triumph a young lion to the +camp--and the doctor was asleep in his tent, Everest sat by Regina +combing and brushing into order the long strands of her hair, that he +had never once allowed to grow tangled or matted in neglect. In the +dry, sunny air of the desert it had grown more golden and more crisp, +and as he brushed it, it curled and sprang round his fingers in shining +silky curls and meshes. + +Regina looked up at him suddenly. + +"I am so sorry you should have such a wretched time. Fancy you, with +all your life and energy, shut up here day after day nursing a sick +girl in a tent!" + +Everest let the gold strands twine round his wrist as he leant over +her, his eyes full of ardent joy and delight in her. + +"And yet, do you know that this time of nursing a sick girl in a tent +has been the happiest in my life?" + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +DAWN + + +In the silvery light of a soft grey dawn, while morning's face was +still gently veiled, two camels stood with heads towards Khartoum, and +as the first rosy shaft of light quivered in the sky Regina came to +the door of her tent and looked out with glad and joyous eyes. She was +very pale from her long seclusion, but tall and straight and supple as +always. Uninjured, undisfigured, with the power restored to her right +arm, she stood on the golden sanded floor, under the high arched roof +of the sky, rejoicing in the life given back to her. + +That day they would commence the return journey by very easy stages, +only travelling a little in the cool of the evening and the dawn so +as not to fatigue her, and she looked out on the great sandy space +over which they had to travel fearlessly, eager to brave its dangers +and pierce its mysteries, and even as the desert stretched before her +uncertain, unknown, full of radiant mist, so lay her future uncertain, +unknown, but gleaming brightly, calling her to it. Her marriage at +Khartoum, and then maternity, with all its complex pains and cares, +but she dreaded nothing. She was ready always to meet life and wrestle +with it, and she would always conquer, for of such stuff are life's +conquerors made. Overhead the sky gleamed like the inner shell of an +oyster, in marvellous tones of palest green and rose, iridescent like +mother of pearl, and in slow magnificence, in dazzling gold, the sun +appeared over the rim of the earth. + +Just at that moment Everest came to the tent door and stood by her, and +the east flung its glory over them both, irradiating their faces in +glowing light. + +"It is the springtime now," murmured Regina softly. "I wish we could be +in the enchanted garden again together in a dawn like this." + +"I do not mind where I am as long as you are with me," he answered, +drawing her close to him. "Love like yours makes of the whole world an +enchanted garden." + +And as she heard his words the glory of the dawn was not greater than +the glory in her eyes. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Night of Temptation, by Victoria Cross + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 59716 *** |