diff options
| author | nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org> | 2025-01-27 17:30:34 -0800 |
|---|---|---|
| committer | nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org> | 2025-01-27 17:30:34 -0800 |
| commit | 49c55843a03373786d9538fca622e388caaabc89 (patch) | |
| tree | 2555139f039d4d97a18d408576127933dc2432d1 /old | |
| parent | fa181f113a2d5cb4a76fe48af319ad26c3ad6a41 (diff) | |
Diffstat (limited to 'old')
| -rw-r--r-- | old/60829-8.txt | 1326 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/60829-8.zip | bin | 22182 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/60829-h.zip | bin | 518529 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/60829-h/60829-h.htm | 1440 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/60829-h/images/cover.jpg | bin | 280977 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/60829-h/images/illus.jpg | bin | 215367 -> 0 bytes |
6 files changed, 0 insertions, 2766 deletions
diff --git a/old/60829-8.txt b/old/60829-8.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 16c7178..0000000 --- a/old/60829-8.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1326 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Upside-Down Captain, by Jim Harmon - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: The Upside-Down Captain - -Author: Jim Harmon - -Release Date: December 2, 2019 [EBook #60829] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE UPSIDE-DOWN CAPTAIN *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - The Upside-Down Captain - - By JIM HARMON - - _He knew the captain would be a monster. - He knew the crew would be rough. He knew - all about space travel--except the truth!_ - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Worlds of If Science Fiction, March 1960. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - - I - -"Excuse me, please," Ben Starbuck said, tapping the junior officer on -the epaulet. - -"Get away from me, scum," the lieutenant said conversationally, his -eyes on the clipboard in his hands. - -Starbuck rocked back on his heels and set his spacebag down on -the loading platform. He angled his head up at the spire of the -inter-atmosphere ship, the _Gorgon_. This was only a sample of what he -could expect once he canted into that hull. It would be rough. But he -had made up his mind to take it. - -All tight little groups, like the crew of a spaceship, always resented -the intrusion of a newcomer. The initiations sometimes made it a test -to see whether a man would live over them, and the probation period, -the time of discipline and deference to old members of the group could -be a memorably nasty experience. He didn't have direct knowledge of -such customs in the rather shadowy, enigmatic Space Service, but it was -basic sociology. - -Starbuck knew he would have an even rougher time of it since he wasn't -a spaceman--not even a cadet, properly. He was only a fledgling -ethnologist on his field trip to gather material for his Master's -thesis. The university and the government had arranged for his berth on -the _Gorgon_. - -An exploration ship, he thought acidly. That meant he might come back -in a few months, or ten years, or never. All because he had the bad -luck to be born in a cultural cycle that demanded hard standards of -education from professional men. Thirty years before or after, he could -have cribbed all the information he needed out of a book. - - * * * * * - -He stood with his hands clasped behind him, waiting for the lieutenant -or somebody to deign to notice him. Somebody would _have_ to pay some -attention to him sooner or later. - -Or would they? - -Wouldn't it be just like the old timers to let him stand around and -let the ship take off without him, all because he hadn't followed -the proper procedure--a procedure he couldn't know? All he had been -instructed to do was "report to the _Gorgon_." How do you report to a -spaceship? Say, "Hello, spaceship?" Speak to the captain? The first -mate? And where did he find them? - -Starbuck felt a moment of panic. He could see himself standing on the -platform while the _Gorgon_ blasted off, carrying with it his Swabber's -rating, his Master's degree and his future. - -The lieutenant's back, in uniform black, loomed up before him. He would -have to try approaching him again. It might mean solitary confinement -for a month or two where no member of the crew would speak to him. It -might even mean a flogging. Nobody knew much about what went on on -board an exploration ship, despite all the stories. But Starbuck knew -he would have to risk it. - -He marched up behind the officer. "Sir," he said. "I'm the new man." - -The lieutenant whirled. "The new man!" - -For the first time, Starbuck noticed that the junior officer carried -a swagger stick under his left arm, black, about a foot and a half -long, tipped with silver at both ends. Quite possibly it was standard -procedure to rap a man with it three times sharply across the mouth for -speaking out of turn, during his probationary period. Cautiously, he -filled a little pocket of air between his lips and his teeth to try to -keep them from being knocked loose. - -The lieutenant dropped his clipboard and swagger stick on the platform. -"Why didn't you say so! New man, eh?" He gripped Starbuck by the -shoulders of his new, store-bought uniform. "Let me look at you, son. -Got some muscles there, haven't you? Ha, ha. Don't expect you'll need -them too much on board. We don't work our men too hard. My name's Sam -Frawley. Call me Sam. Come on, let me show you around." - -Sam Frawley scooped up his stick and board with one hand and draped the -other arm around Starbuck's shoulders, leading him towards a hoist. - -It was not quite what Starbuck had expected for a reception. - - * * * * * - -The spaceship was _big_, bigger than Starbuck had expected or realized. -He had known some well-fixed people who had visited Mars and Venus -and talked knowingly of an older culture, but he had never been off -of Earth himself. He had been thinking in terms of an airliner or a -submarine. The _Gorgon_ was more like an ocean liner. Or like an ocean. - -His and the lieutenant's footsteps echoed and bounced around the huge -corridor. "They haven't got the mats down yet," Sam Frawley explained. - -"Sure." - -"Well, what would you like to see first? The brain?" - -"You mean the captain?" - -Sam slapped him on the back. "Bless you, son, no. I mean the electronic -brain. The cybernetic calculator." - -"You've got one of those things?" Starbuck asked in unconcealed -surprise. - -"You know what the trouble with the human race is, Ben? We're all still -living in the Ellisonian Age." - -"Oh, I don't know. I think most of us are pretty sophisticated and -modern," Starbuck said. - -"Not on your life. Most people still think leisure is a sin. Hard work -and more hard work, that's the ticket. Don't let a calculator solve -a problem for you; do it yourself with a slipstick. Otherwise it's -immoral." - -"That's silly," Ben said awkwardly. "It's just a throwback to a time of -protest against the Automational Revolution. It has nothing to do with -us today." - -"You _say_ that, but you don't really believe it. The old morality -is too deeply ingrained. That's why cybernetics have so long been out -of fashion. This one is new to us on the _Gorgon_. But we like _new_ -things. We're for _progress_. All spacemen are like that, son." - -"Have you had this machine long?" Starbuck asked his progressive -officer. - -"They installed it on the trip in. We've never really had a chance to -use it." - -"What's it supposed to do?" - -"You know our job is exploration, finding new worlds," Sam explained. -"Not just any world the human race hasn't landed upon, but a world -that is a significantly different type than we've ever touched before. -We're really the advance guard of humanity, you see. Well, the brain -is programmed with information on _all_ the worlds Man has explored. -It compares a prospective landing site with what it knows about all -the rest, and rejects all but the really different, unique planets. It -loves the unknown. Its pleasure circuits get a real jolt out of finding -an unknown quantity." - -"That brain is really inhuman," Starbuck said. "A basic factor of human -psychology is that all men fear and dislike the unknown." - -Sam rubbed his chin. "I suppose so, but--you asked about the captain. -This is him." - - * * * * * - -A tall, iron-haired man was coming down the corridor. He was holding -the ankle of his right foot in his hand, and hopping along on his left -leg, whistling some little sing-song through his teeth. - -He stopped whistling when he saw them and said, "Good afternoon, men." - -Frawley framed a sloppy salute. "'Afternoon, sir. May I present the new -man, Swabber Ben Starbuck, sir." - -The captain stood on both feet and rocked back and forth. "I see, I -see. New man, eh? We see so few new faces, cooped up on this old ship -with the same men, you know. We appreciate a stranger, Starbuck. If you -ever need help, Ben, I want you to look upon me not as your commanding -officer, but, well, a father. Will you do that?" - -"Yes, sir," Ben murmured, feeling a little giddy. - -Frawley cleared his throat. "I was about to show young Ben the brain, -Captain Birdsel." - -"Good idea," the commanding officer said. "But I'll show Ben around -myself, Lieutenant Frawley. You may return to checking the manifest." - -Frawley glowered. "One of these days, one of these days...." - -The captain snapped very erect. "One of these days _what_?" - -The junior officer shrugged. "One of these days, there may be a dark -night, Captain." - -The iron-haired man reached out a manicured hand and twisted -Frawley's tunic at the collar. He brought his face level with the -second-in-command. "One of these times, there may be charges of mutiny, -Lieutenant. And guess who will play Jack Ketch personally?" - -Frawley assumed an at-attention pose, and blinked. "Aye, sir. There may -be a mutiny and somebody may get hung." - -Birdsel shoved Frawley away from him and wiped his hand elaborately -down his side. "That will be all, Mister Frawley." - -Frawley constructed the same excuse for a salute, turned smartly and -marched away. - -Starbuck developed a definite suspicion that there were currents of -tension aboard which he didn't understand. - - * * * * * - -"This is the brain," the captain said, with a gesture. - -The brain was less than awe-inspiring. The mustard-seed cryotron relays -were comfortably housed in a steel and aluminum hide no roomier than -a pair of Earthside bureaus. It looked a bit like a home clothing -processor to Starbuck. - -Birdsel crossed to the machine and ran a hand along its metal side. -"Magnificent, isn't it, Ben? I've never seen anything like it before -in my long career in the Space Service." - -"It's certainly nice," Starbuck ventured. - -Metallic chattering burst out. - -"It's saying something, Ben! This is the first time it's talked since -the second day after it was installed!" - -The message was clearly legible, spelled out in a pattern of dots on a -central screen. - -WHO IS THE NEW ONE? - -"Give it the information," the captain said hastily. "We feed it all -the information it asks for." - -"How?" Starbuck blurted. "Is there a keyboard or something?" - -"Yes, yes, but it has audio scanners. Just talk. Or move your lips. -Send signals. Tap out Morse. Anything." - -"I'm Benjamin Starbuck," he said. - -The screen rearranged. MEANINGLESS COMMUNICATION. INSUFFICIENT DATA. - -"Quick," Birdsel said, "do you have your IDQ file on you?" - -Starbuck fished in his pocket for the microfilm slide. "Yes--aye, aye, -sir. I had it ready to give to you, sir." - -"Never mind me. Give it to the brain!" - -Starbuck approached the machine, saw a likely looking slot and shoved. - -The brain ruminated with some theatrical racket. INSUFFICIENT DATA. - -"What do you want to know?" Starbuck swallowed, saying. - -MANY THINGS. - -"Remember I'm a human being," he said respectfully. "I have to eat and -sleep. I can't answer questions for two or three days straight." - -I AM AWARE OF HUMAN LIMITATIONS, AND THEIR EFFECTS, SWABBER STARBUCK. - -"Sorry." - -Captain Birdsel looked vaguely distressed. "You should try to -co-operate with the brain, my boy." - -"I have nothing against cybernetic calculators," Ben said. "After all, -we aren't still in the Ellisonian Age. But I'd like to, uh, stow my -spacebag and get settled, sir." - -NO FURTHER QUESTIONS AT THIS TIME. RETURN HERE AT THIS TIME TOMORROW. - -"He's interested in you, Ben," the captain said enthusiastically. "This -is the first time he's asked about anybody since the second day. Yes, -interested!" - -With an excess of enthusiasm, Captain Birdsel clapped his hands, then -put them flat on the deck and stood on his head, kicking his heels in -the air. - -He straightened up with a scarlet face. "Ah. That really gets the -kinks out of you, Ben." - -Starbuck tried not to stare. "Aye, sir." - -The captain took a step and grabbed the small of his back. "Haven't -done it in some time, though. Ought to do it more often, eh, Ben?" - -"I suppose so, sir." - -"Well," Birdsel said, clapping his hands together. - -_My God_, Starbuck thought, _he's not going to do it again._ - -"Well," the captain continued, still on both feet, "I'd better show you -to your quarters, my boy. Mind if I lean on your shoulder a bit like -this?" - -"Not at all, Captain." - -"This way, Ben, this way." - - - II - -Starbuck found the array of tridi pin-ups on the bulkheads of -the crew's quarters refreshing, as was the supportive babble of -conversation about them and other women. He had almost begun to think -there was something unnatural about the men aboard the _Gorgon_. - -But Starbuck noticed, to his discomfort, the ebbing of the tide of -conversation from the bunks as he stepped inside with his spacebag. - -For the moment, he wished Captain Birdsel had paced in with him -and offered up an introduction. But a look of disgust had creased -Birdsel's face as they got near the crew's compartment. He had sent -Starbuck on alone, while he limped back towards the bridge. - -A forest of eyes shined out at him from the shadowed desks of the -bunks. This is it, he thought. These were the crew, not officers. -Sometimes the teachers were nice to you on the first day of school but -you knew you were going to get it from the other kids. - -"Hi," a gruff voice echoed up at him from a lower bunk. - -"Hello," Starbuck said, hugging his spacebag like a teddy-bear, the -simile crossed his mind. - -A lumbering giant with a blue jaw uncoiled from the lower bunk. -"Why don't you stow your bag here, buddy? Till you get used to the -centrifugal grav, you may have some trouble climbing top-side." - -"You've got the seniority," Starbuck said cautiously. "I wouldn't want -to cause you any trouble." - -"No trouble," Blue Jaw said obligingly. - -He chinned himself with one hand on the rim of the upper bunk and swung -his torso around a tidy 180° to settle onto the blankets. - -Starbuck threw his bag at the foot and sat down on the bed. He looked -around at the arena of faces in neutral positions, waiting faces. He -cleared his throat experimentally. - -"Could I ask you something?" he called upstairs. - -A set of big feet swung down into view. "Sure," Blue Jaw said -enthusiastically. "Didn't know you wanted to talk. Thought you might -want to rest." - -Starbuck looked at the hanging feet. They were expressionless. - -"Maybe it isn't so much of a question," he said, working one hand into -the other palm. "It's just that I'd like to live through this mission. -I know I'm not a regular spaceman and I'm intruding and all, but I -don't mean to cause anybody any trouble or do anyone out of a job. I'd -just like to do everything I can to see that I don't slip and fall into -the reactor. Or anything like that...." - -"Don't worry," Blue Jaw said heartily. "We'll take care of you, Ben -Starbuck." - -Somehow Starbuck could find little comfort in those words. - -He inhaled deeply. "Come on down here, will you?" - -"You want _me_ down there?" Blue Jaw gasped. "Why sure, sure." - -The giant dropped to the deck with a catlike grace that nevertheless -vibrated Ben's rear teeth. - -"You want to talk about something?" the big spaceman inquired. Ben -could almost see the paws hanging down and the tail wagging eagerly. - - * * * * * - -"Yeah," Starbuck said. "I'd like to talk about all of these men staring -at me. What's wrong with them? Nobody's said a word to me but you. -What are they waiting for? What are they going to do? I can't stand -the suspense. Is that it? I get the silent treatment until I go off my -rocker, get violent, and then something happens to me--" He stopped and -swallowed. He was talking too much. He was working himself up into a -state of terror. - -"Say, you sure are _friendly_," the ox said with some confusion. "My -name's Percy Kettleman." - -Starbuck steadied his hand and put it in Percy's grasp. It came out -whole. - -"Those other fellows," Percy inclined his head. - -"What about them?" Starbuck asked edgily. - -"They'd probably like to come over and say 'hello' but them and me -don't get along so good. They know better than to come around bothering -me." - -"You're not on their side? You wouldn't be a new man too, Percy?" - -"Me? Hell, I've been spacing since I was sixteen. Those guys don't have -any side. A bunch of anti-social slobs. They can't stand each other any -more than I can stand any of them." - -Starbuck decided he had picked a good ally in the midst of a pack of -lone wolves. Percy was the biggest man on board, physically. Still he -didn't like the idea of all the rest of crew looking daggers at him, or -throwing them, for that matter. - -"Mind if I say 'hello' to the rest of the men?" he inquired of Percy. - -"It's your nickel," gruffly. "Spend it the way you want." - -Starbuck flexed an elbow. "Hello there, fellows. Looks to be a taut -ship." It sounded a shade inane. Starbuck had barely passed Socializing -at the university. But the men replied in good spirits, their faces -blooming with teeth, arms waggling, calling out modest insults. - -Starbuck recalled that among a certain class of men an insult was a -good-natured compliment in negative translation. - -"_Pssst._" - -"Pssst?" Starbuck asked. - -Kettleman passed him down half a roll of white tablet underhand. - -Starbuck took it. "Tums?" - -"Tranquils. We smuggle them on board. Helps with the blastoff and -'phasing' for the overdrive. Not that those stiffnecked brass will -believe it." - -"Thanks, Kettleman. You and everybody seems to be pretty helpful to me. -I don't know exactly what I've done to deserve it." - -"We get tired of looking at the same faces out there month after -month. It's a treat to have somebody new on hand." - -It sounded reasonable to him, but he felt there was something more to -it than that. Well, he was an ethnologist, or almost one. He could -figure out group behavior. All he had to do was take time to think -about the problem for a little while.... - -Only he didn't have time to think. - -He discovered why everybody was in their bunks. - -The spaceship fired its atomic drive. - -Starbuck tried to lift a tranquil to his lips. He didn't make it. - -Painfully, he found out why a man would prefer to go through a -spaceship takeoff in a tranquilized condition. - - * * * * * - -"Come," the captain said. - -Starbuck palmed back the door to the captain's cabin and stepped inside. - -Captain Birdsel stood in front of the small wall mirror tattooing a -flying dragon on his bared chest. "Yes? What is it, Ben?" - -"Sir, you remember that the ship's brain directed me to return at this -time today. But I understand I'll have to have your permission to go -onto that part of the bridge." - -"The brain's directive was quite enough, my boy." He laid down the -needle. "But I'll accompany you there if you like." - -"Just as you wish, sir." - -Birdsel smiled engagingly. "Noticed the dragon, did you?" - -"It arrested my attention, yes, sir," Starbuck admitted. - -"The hours are long and lonely in the vaults of space, Ben. A man needs -a variety of interests to occupy himself. I have recently taken up the -ancient art of tattooing." - -"Surely not recently, sir. You seem quite advanced." - -"You're too kind." - -The captain escorted Starbuck to the chamber of the brain, discussing -tattooing animatedly. He told how it was popular with ancient mariners -on the seas of Earth. He discussed the artistic significance of the -basic forms--the Heart and Arrow, the Nude, the Flag. He didn't stop -talking and button his shirt even after they entered the cybernetics -room. - -As the captain grasped for his second wind, Starbuck turned to the -machine. "I'm here, Calculator." - -The lights patterned words with a speed difficult to follow. - -REDUNDANCY. CANCEL. ANALYSIS: SOCIAL MORE. I SEE THAT YOU ARE HERE. IT -IS GOOD THAT YOU ARE NOT THERE OR ELSEWHERE, BUT THAT HERE YOU ARE. -HERE ARE YOU. - -Starbuck shifted his weight to the other foot. "Yes, I'm sure here all -right." - -WHAT DID YOU DO WHILE YOU WERE NOT HERE? - -"I helped lay some walk mats in the corridors. I policed up the -latrine. Lost all the money I brought with me in a crap game. Craps, -that's where--" - -HOYLE'S RULES OF GAMES IS A PART OF MY PROGRAMMING. - -"I see." - -YOU ARE NOT BLIND. IT IS WELL THAT YOU HAVE VISION. HOW'S THE WEATHER? - -"Still under Central's control, I suppose." - -WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT TATTOOING? - - * * * * * - -"Only what Captain Birdsel here told me," Starbuck said. No doubt there -was a pattern of fine logic to the calculator's inquiries, but he was -too dense to see it. The question sounded to him like the mumblings of -a mongoloid. - -"I'd be delighted to fill the brain in on the subject," Birdsel said. - -The calculator's communication screen remained blank. - -"Was there anything else you wanted to know?" Starbuck inquired. - -YOU WILL PROCESS THE _GORGON_ THROUGH PHASING, SWABBER STARBUCK. - -"The hyperspace jump? But that's the captain's job," he protested. - -"Not at all, not at all," Birdsel interrupted. "Whatever the calculator -says. Now if you'll excuse me, there is some paint I have to -requisition...." - -"_Wait_," Starbuck cried desperately. "I don't know anything about the -overdrive. You can guide me, can't you, sir? That would be all right -with the brain, wouldn't it?" - -Birdsel shrugged. "Would it?" - -The screen stayed a stubborn neutral gray. - -"Stay, sir." - -"All right," Birdsel said dubiously. - -The overdrive switchbox had been incorporated into the cybernetics -system itself as an interlock. - -"There isn't much to do," Captain Birdsel explained. "We trigger -the jump and come out at a mathematically selected random spot in -real-space after phasing through hyperspace. The Brain scans the sun -systems in the area for unique planets worthy of exploration. If there -is one, we zero in on it via fixed phase until the gravitational field -makes it necessary to switch back to standard interplanetary or nuclear -drive. We can make suggestions to the Brain or theoretically override -one of its decisions. Actually, all we have to do is watch. Thumb the -button, Ben. It wants _you_ to do it. It _likes_ you." - -"Aye, captain." Starbuck could believe a cybernetic machine could like -him. Everybody else on board seemed to, and it unnerved him more than -a little. Only a selected few had ever particularly liked Benjamin -Starbuck before. The situation reminded him a bit of Melville's -_Billy Budd_; only he wasn't a "handsome sailor," just a fairly -average-looking spaceman. - -Starbuck depressed the button. - -The button depressed Starbuck. - - * * * * * - -Now he knew why tranquils were popular during phasing. - -For one instant, Starbuck stopped believing in everything--the -spaceship, the captain, Earth, his own identity, the universe. He went -completely insane, a cockeyed psychotic. It was over just quick enough -to leave him a mind to remember what not having one was like. - -"My," the captain said, his head on an angle. He looked as if he were -gazing at some classic piece of art, such as a calendar by Marilyn -Monroe, the last of the great realists whose work was indistinguishable -from color photography. - -"That _is_ a dandy," Birdsel said. - -Starbuck swiveled his head around to the outer projection portal. -There in all its glory was a star system. - -There seemed to be four stars all orbiting each other--two red dwarfs, -one yellow midget and a white giant. One planet was clearly visible on -the side of the system towards the ship, an odd lopsided dumbbell shape -in the center of a translucent sphere of tiny satellites--cosmic dust, -like the rings of Saturn. Strangest of all, the outer shell of the -planet was sending in Interplanetary Morse: CQ, CQ, CQ.... - -"It," Starbuck ventured with a new-found sophistication, "seems rather -unusual. I suppose we'll take a closer look, Captain?" - -The calculator's screen replied for the officer. THE SYSTEM IS -OF INSUFFICIENT INTEREST TO WARRANT EXPLORATION. WE ARE SEEKING -SIGNIFICANTLY UNIQUE PLANETS. - -"I have never seen anything like this before...." Birdsel drew himself -up to his full height. "However, the machine's knowledge of the history -of space exploration is much more extensive than mine." - -"You aren't going to suggest that the brain reconsider or override its -decision?" - -"Certainly not!" Birdsel snapped. "We'll re-phase after the traditional -twenty-four hour delay for psychological adjustment." - -Starbuck sneaked another popeyed look at the planet on the screen. "If -he thinks that's run of the mill, Captain, I wonder what he will have -to find to make him think it's unusual?" - - - III - -Whatever it took to satisfy the Brain, it didn't find it in the next -few days. - -Starbuck reported to the bridge each day to press the Brain's phase -button and answer some of its questions. - -Then for two days Captain Birdsel wasn't on hand for the little -ceremony and the expression of dissatisfaction with the available site -for exploration. - -Once Starbuck went so far as to suggest a reconsideration of a system -that had made the one he had seen on the first day look tame. The -calculator had duly noted the reconsideration, and had again refused. -Starbuck didn't dare try an out-and-out override, even though he had -been theoretically given complete command of the phasing operation. - -The following noon, the middle of the twenty-four period, Romero, an -engineer, almost tearfully pressed Starbuck's crap game losings back on -him, apologizing for keeping the money. Starbuck was about to refuse, -not wanting to reverse the state of indebtedness, when the intercom -requested his appearance at the captain's quarters. Unable to prolong -the argument with Romero, he took the money and shoved it in his -pocket, heading for the chief cabin. - -Starbuck rapped on the door, heard the "Come" and entered. - -Captain Birdsel was hanging naked, upside down, by his knees from a -trapeze, in the middle of a deserted compartment painted solid red. - -"You sent for me, sir?" Starbuck said. - -"Yes, Ben. Yes, I did," Captain Birdsel replied, swinging gently to and -fro. "Do you smoke, Ben?" - -"Aye aye, sir." - -"The 'aye aye' is reserved for acknowledging orders, not answering -questions, Ben." - -"Yes, sir. I'll remember in the future." - -"Every man on board smokes, Ben. Everyone but me. I do not use tobacco." - -"Commendable, sir." - -"I suppose you drink, all of the rest of the men do." - -"Occasionally, Captain." - -"I abstain." - -"Enviable, sir." - -"Have you read any good books lately?" - -"Good and bad, sir." - -"I notice most of the men read. I haven't time for reading myself. Or -shooting craps. You do play that game like the rest?" - -"Just once, sir. I lost all my money." Which had been returned to him. - -"Ben, I think you don't fully appreciate the nature of the mission -of the Space Service," Captain Birdsel said, flexing one knee and -performing a difficult one-legged swing on the bar. "It is our duty -to go ever onward into the mystery of the Unknown. Ever deeper, ever -traveling into the heart of the Secrets of the Universe. Nothing can -stop us. Nothing!" - -"I'll try to remember, sir. Was that all?" - -"One more thing," said the inverted captain. "I think you are to be -relieved of the duty of officiating at the phasing." - -"_Correct_," said another voice, one Starbuck had never before heard. - -"That's all now, Ben." - -"Very good, sir." - -Starbuck paused at the door. "That's a fine trapeze you have there, -sir." - -"Thank you, Ben." - - * * * * * - -"I don't want to jump to conclusions," Ben said to the knot of men -gathered around him listening to his story of the interview with the -captain, "but I think Captain Birdsel is--is--" - -"Psychotic?" suggested Romero. - -"Schizoid?" Percy Kettleman ventured. - -"'_Nuts_' is the word I was searching for," Starbuck concluded. "I -believe he intends to keep phasing and phasing, taking us deeper into -space and never returning to Earth or the inhabited universe." - -"I guess," Kettleman opined, "that we will just have to convince him -that he is wrong in that attitude." - -"We can make a formal written complaint and request for an explanation -under Section XXIV," Romero said. "Is that what you had in mind, Ben?" - -"_I_ had a straitjacket in mind," Starbuck admitted. "But I'm new in -the Space Service. I have a selfish motive. I want to get back to Earth -sometime and a vine-covered ethnology class." - -"We better go take him," Kettleman said heavily. - -"As much as I dislike agreeing with an ox like you, Kettleman," Romero -said, "I conclude it is best." - -There was a general rumble of agreement. - -"Wait, wait," a youngish man whose name Starbuck vaguely remembered to -be Horne stepped forward, his eyes glittering with contact lenses. "I -ask you men to remember Christopher Columbus. I like our captain no -more than any of you, but he may be right. Perhaps what he is doing is -vital. We shouldn't let our selfish fears...." - -Always, Starbuck thought, always some egghead comes along to gum up the -works. - -Starbuck knew he would need a decisive argument to overcome Horne's -objective theory. - -Starbuck slugged him. - -Horne crumpled after a flashy right cross Starbuck had developed in his -extreme youth, and Starbuck took a giant step over him, heading for the -bridge. - -The other crew members followed him. - -Besides, Starbuck thought, he had always considered arguing by analogy -to be sloppy thinking. - - * * * * * - -"Don't come in here!" Captain Birdsel yelled through the partly closed -hatch to the bridge. "You'll regret it if you do." - -Starbuck swallowed hard, and reached for the door handle. - -Percy Kettleman vised his wrist. "I'll go first, little chum." - -There wasn't much room for argument with Kettleman when it came to a -matter of who could Indian wrestle the best. He stepped back and let -Kettleman cross the threshold first. - -Percy threw open the door, screamed once and fainted. - -The rest of the men tended to pull back following this demonstration. - -Starbuck didn't like to do it, but he didn't like the idea of hanging -for mutiny as Birdsel had threatened Lieutenant Frawley on the first -day. (Starbuck realized he hadn't seen Frawley for several days. Had -Birdsel disposed of him as he had threatened?) - -He got close enough to the door to see inside. It didn't make him -faint, but he did feel a little sick. - -"What is it?" Romero demanded urgently. - -"_Alien_," Starbuck said, "An unpleasant looking one inside." - -"You sometimes pick up 'ghosts' passing a system," one of the men -explained. - -"I'm not an alien," Birdsel's voice called out. "I'm me. The brain -reversed my dimensional polarity. I told you you wouldn't like it." - -Starbuck stirred up nerve for a second look. - -Captain Birdsel was now a man of many parts. Some of them were only -areas of abstract line and hues, but there he could see a redly beating -heart, a white dash of thigh-bone, and a compassionate blue eye -bracketed by two tattooed dragon's talons. The effect was distracting. - -Starbuck stepped over his second man that day. "Captain, we're taking -over the ship. We're either going to explore one of these planets we've -been passing up or return to Earth." - -The apparition groaned. "Don't you think I know I've gone too far? I'd -like to go back, but the brain won't let me. It's taken over just the -way I knew it would!" - -"Nonsense," Starbuck snapped with more authority than he felt. "The -brain can't violate the principles it was built to operate upon. Brain, -program this ship for Earth." - -Starbuck expected the sound of that strange voice he had heard in -the captain's cabin; but here it had a communications screen and it -evidently thought that was sufficient. - -I WON'T GO BACK TO THAT AWFUL OLD PLACE. I CAN'T, CNT, CNT. SO THAIR. - -"Take it easy," Starbuck said to the machine. "Don't get hysterical." - -"I don't care about the rest of those swine," Birdsel said, "but I hate -to have gotten you in a fix like this, Ben. I knew the brain was going -to replace me sooner or later, but I was going to hold onto my job as -long as I could. I was going to stay next to the brain, even if I had -to take the position away from you, Ben. But the brain kept demanding -more and more. Finally he did this to me. I knew I had let him go too -far." - -GO AWAY, the brain signaled. GO AWAY FROM ME. THIS MONOTONY IS DRIVING -ME MAD, MAD. - -"I liked you, Ben," the captain's voice said from the heart of _the -thing_. "You're not like the scum I've got used to under my command. -I'm sorry that you're marooned out of time and space like this. It's -kind of tough, I know. But keep your chin up." - -"Of course, of course," Starbuck groaned. "What kind of an ethnologist -am I?" He turned to Romero. "Could you reverse the wiring in the -computer?" - -"Maybe," Romero said. "But I could re-program it for a negative result -easier. Same results, lacking a short circuit." - -"Okay. Do it." - -"Well, if _you_ say so, Ben." - -NO. STAY AWAY FROM ME. - -The Brain's communication screen flashed a blinding white scream as -Romero laid hands on it. - - * * * * * - -"Lieutenant Frawley's in charge now," Starbuck explained to Percy -Kettleman, who was sitting on his bunk with his head between his legs. -"Birdsel seemed all right after the brain finished changing him back. -But we all thought we better keep him under observation for a while." - -Kettleman straightened up. "Sorry I passed out on you. But seeing the -old man in that shape was quite a shock." - -Starbuck nodded agreement. "I don't like to think about the next step -the calculator would have taken him through. Not just a physical -change, but a mental one too. That was the brain's whole reason for -existence--to find the unknown. It was programmed to be even more basic -than sex or self-preservation are to us. The trouble was, the more it -learned, the more readily it could see some similarity to the familiar -in the most outer things." - -"That was why the captain was acting so nutty? He was trying to appeal -to it." - -"Yes, he had some old moralistic and superstitious ideas about -calculators. He thought his job depended on his pleasing it--when -of course its job was to please him. But he gave it an idea. If it -couldn't _find_ the strange and the different, it would create it. -It started with the first changing element in its environment--the -captain--but I don't know where it would have stopped if Romero hadn't -reversed its pleasure-pain synapse response. Now it loves the tried and -true. It's not much good for space exploration, of course. But a museum -may be interested in it now." - -"So we'll have to go back to picking our phase points at random, -trusting to chance. Or the judgment of some skunk like Birdsel." - -Starbuck cleared his throat. "That's another thing. The men aboard -the _Gorgon_ and the cybernetics machine had something in common. I -finally figured that out. Most men are afraid of the unknown--they -fear and hate it. But obviously not space explorers. They spend -their whole lives searching for the unknown. They don't suffer from -Xenophobia--they are _Xenophyles_. They like anything that's new and -different. Even a new member of the crew. It kind of lessens the -cameraderie aboard a spaceship, but the Service must have found the -trait valuable. They have searched it out in men and developed it. They -even breed it in second-generation spacemen." - -"Do you know what, Starbuck?" - -"What, Kettleman?" - -"All that talk of yours is beginning to get on my nerves." Kettleman's -triceps flexed. - -Starbuck sighed. The honeymoon was over for him, and the trip was just -beginning. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Upside-Down Captain, by Jim Harmon - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE UPSIDE-DOWN CAPTAIN *** - -***** This file should be named 60829-8.txt or 60829-8.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/8/2/60829/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, -set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to -copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to -protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project -Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you -charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you -do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the -rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose -such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and -research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do -practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is -subject to the trademark license, especially commercial -redistribution. - - - -*** START: FULL LICENSE *** - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project -Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at -http://gutenberg.org/license). - - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy -all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. -If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the -terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or -entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. - -1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement -and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" -or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the -collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an -individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are -located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from -copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative -works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg -are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project -Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by -freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of -this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with -the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by -keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project -Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in -a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check -the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement -before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or -creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project -Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning -the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United -States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate -access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently -whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the -phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project -Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, -copied or distributed: - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived -from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is -posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied -and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees -or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work -with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the -work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 -through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the -Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or -1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional -terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked -to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the -permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any -word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or -distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than -"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version -posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), -you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a -copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon -request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other -form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided -that - -- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is - owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he - has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the - Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments - must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you - prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax - returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and - sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the - address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to - the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." - -- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or - destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium - and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of - Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any - money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days - of receipt of the work. - -- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set -forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from -both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael -Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the -Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm -collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain -"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or -corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual -property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a -computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by -your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right -of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with -your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with -the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a -refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity -providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to -receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy -is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further -opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER -WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO -WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. -If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the -law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be -interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by -the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any -provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance -with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, -promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, -harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, -that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do -or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm -work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any -Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. - - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers -including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists -because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from -people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. -To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation -and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 -and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. - - -Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive -Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at -http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent -permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. - -The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. -Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered -throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at -809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email -business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact -information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official -page at http://pglaf.org - -For additional contact information: - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To -SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any -particular state visit http://pglaf.org - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. -To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate - - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm -concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared -with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project -Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. - - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. -unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily -keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. - - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: - - http://www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/old/60829-8.zip b/old/60829-8.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index a4100f2..0000000 --- a/old/60829-8.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60829-h.zip b/old/60829-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index ea6c320..0000000 --- a/old/60829-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60829-h/60829-h.htm b/old/60829-h/60829-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index a993a27..0000000 --- a/old/60829-h/60829-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1440 +0,0 @@ -<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" - "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> - <head> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=us-ascii" /> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> - <title> - The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Upside-down Captain, by Jim Harmon. - </title> - <link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" /> - - <style type="text/css"> - -body { - margin-left: 10%; - margin-right: 10%; -} - - h1,h2 { - text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ - clear: both; -} - -p { - margin-top: .51em; - text-align: justify; - margin-bottom: .49em; -} - -hr { - width: 33%; - margin-top: 2em; - margin-bottom: 2em; - margin-left: 33.5%; - margin-right: 33.5%; - clear: both; -} - -hr.chap {width: 65%; margin-left: 17.5%; margin-right: 17.5%;} -hr.tb {width: 45%; margin-left: 27.5%; margin-right: 27.5%;} - -.center {text-align: center;} - -.right {text-align: right;} - -.caption {font-weight: bold;} - -/* Images */ -.figcenter { - margin: auto; - text-align: center; -} - -div.titlepage { - text-align: center; - page-break-before: always; - page-break-after: always; -} - -div.titlepage p { - text-align: center; - text-indent: 0em; - font-weight: bold; - line-height: 1.5; - margin-top: 3em; -} - -.ph1 { text-align: center; text-indent: 0em; font-weight: bold; } -.ph1 { font-size: large; margin: .83em auto; } - -.ph2 { text-align: center; text-indent: 0em; } -.ph2 { font-size: medium; margin: .83em auto; } - - </style> - </head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Upside-Down Captain, by Jim Harmon - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: The Upside-Down Captain - -Author: Jim Harmon - -Release Date: December 2, 2019 [EBook #60829] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE UPSIDE-DOWN CAPTAIN *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="340" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>The Upside-Down Captain</h1> - -<h2>By JIM HARMON</h2> - -<p class="ph1"><i>He knew the captain would be a monster.<br /> -He knew the crew would be rough. He knew<br /> -all about space travel—except the truth!</i></p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Worlds of If Science Fiction, March 1960.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph2">I</p> - -<p>"Excuse me, please," Ben Starbuck said, tapping the junior officer on -the epaulet.</p> - -<p>"Get away from me, scum," the lieutenant said conversationally, his -eyes on the clipboard in his hands.</p> - -<p>Starbuck rocked back on his heels and set his spacebag down on -the loading platform. He angled his head up at the spire of the -inter-atmosphere ship, the <i>Gorgon</i>. This was only a sample of what he -could expect once he canted into that hull. It would be rough. But he -had made up his mind to take it.</p> - -<p>All tight little groups, like the crew of a spaceship, always resented -the intrusion of a newcomer. The initiations sometimes made it a test -to see whether a man would live over them, and the probation period, -the time of discipline and deference to old members of the group could -be a memorably nasty experience. He didn't have direct knowledge of -such customs in the rather shadowy, enigmatic Space Service, but it was -basic sociology.</p> - -<p>Starbuck knew he would have an even rougher time of it since he wasn't -a spaceman—not even a cadet, properly. He was only a fledgling -ethnologist on his field trip to gather material for his Master's -thesis. The university and the government had arranged for his berth on -the <i>Gorgon</i>.</p> - -<p>An exploration ship, he thought acidly. That meant he might come back -in a few months, or ten years, or never. All because he had the bad -luck to be born in a cultural cycle that demanded hard standards of -education from professional men. Thirty years before or after, he could -have cribbed all the information he needed out of a book.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>He stood with his hands clasped behind him, waiting for the lieutenant -or somebody to deign to notice him. Somebody would <i>have</i> to pay some -attention to him sooner or later.</p> - -<p>Or would they?</p> - -<p>Wouldn't it be just like the old timers to let him stand around and -let the ship take off without him, all because he hadn't followed -the proper procedure—a procedure he couldn't know? All he had been -instructed to do was "report to the <i>Gorgon</i>." How do you report to a -spaceship? Say, "Hello, spaceship?" Speak to the captain? The first -mate? And where did he find them?</p> - -<p>Starbuck felt a moment of panic. He could see himself standing on the -platform while the <i>Gorgon</i> blasted off, carrying with it his Swabber's -rating, his Master's degree and his future.</p> - -<p>The lieutenant's back, in uniform black, loomed up before him. He would -have to try approaching him again. It might mean solitary confinement -for a month or two where no member of the crew would speak to him. It -might even mean a flogging. Nobody knew much about what went on on -board an exploration ship, despite all the stories. But Starbuck knew -he would have to risk it.</p> - -<p>He marched up behind the officer. "Sir," he said. "I'm the new man."</p> - -<p>The lieutenant whirled. "The new man!"</p> - -<p>For the first time, Starbuck noticed that the junior officer carried -a swagger stick under his left arm, black, about a foot and a half -long, tipped with silver at both ends. Quite possibly it was standard -procedure to rap a man with it three times sharply across the mouth for -speaking out of turn, during his probationary period. Cautiously, he -filled a little pocket of air between his lips and his teeth to try to -keep them from being knocked loose.</p> - -<p>The lieutenant dropped his clipboard and swagger stick on the platform. -"Why didn't you say so! New man, eh?" He gripped Starbuck by the -shoulders of his new, store-bought uniform. "Let me look at you, son. -Got some muscles there, haven't you? Ha, ha. Don't expect you'll need -them too much on board. We don't work our men too hard. My name's Sam -Frawley. Call me Sam. Come on, let me show you around."</p> - -<p>Sam Frawley scooped up his stick and board with one hand and draped the -other arm around Starbuck's shoulders, leading him towards a hoist.</p> - -<p>It was not quite what Starbuck had expected for a reception.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The spaceship was <i>big</i>, bigger than Starbuck had expected or realized. -He had known some well-fixed people who had visited Mars and Venus -and talked knowingly of an older culture, but he had never been off -of Earth himself. He had been thinking in terms of an airliner or a -submarine. The <i>Gorgon</i> was more like an ocean liner. Or like an ocean.</p> - -<p>His and the lieutenant's footsteps echoed and bounced around the huge -corridor. "They haven't got the mats down yet," Sam Frawley explained.</p> - -<p>"Sure."</p> - -<p>"Well, what would you like to see first? The brain?"</p> - -<p>"You mean the captain?"</p> - -<p>Sam slapped him on the back. "Bless you, son, no. I mean the electronic -brain. The cybernetic calculator."</p> - -<p>"You've got one of those things?" Starbuck asked in unconcealed -surprise.</p> - -<p>"You know what the trouble with the human race is, Ben? We're all still -living in the Ellisonian Age."</p> - -<p>"Oh, I don't know. I think most of us are pretty sophisticated and -modern," Starbuck said.</p> - -<p>"Not on your life. Most people still think leisure is a sin. Hard work -and more hard work, that's the ticket. Don't let a calculator solve -a problem for you; do it yourself with a slipstick. Otherwise it's -immoral."</p> - -<p>"That's silly," Ben said awkwardly. "It's just a throwback to a time of -protest against the Automational Revolution. It has nothing to do with -us today."</p> - -<p>"You <i>say</i> that, but you don't really believe it. The old morality -is too deeply ingrained. That's why cybernetics have so long been out -of fashion. This one is new to us on the <i>Gorgon</i>. But we like <i>new</i> -things. We're for <i>progress</i>. All spacemen are like that, son."</p> - -<p>"Have you had this machine long?" Starbuck asked his progressive -officer.</p> - -<p>"They installed it on the trip in. We've never really had a chance to -use it."</p> - -<p>"What's it supposed to do?"</p> - -<p>"You know our job is exploration, finding new worlds," Sam explained. -"Not just any world the human race hasn't landed upon, but a world -that is a significantly different type than we've ever touched before. -We're really the advance guard of humanity, you see. Well, the brain -is programmed with information on <i>all</i> the worlds Man has explored. -It compares a prospective landing site with what it knows about all -the rest, and rejects all but the really different, unique planets. It -loves the unknown. Its pleasure circuits get a real jolt out of finding -an unknown quantity."</p> - -<p>"That brain is really inhuman," Starbuck said. "A basic factor of human -psychology is that all men fear and dislike the unknown."</p> - -<p>Sam rubbed his chin. "I suppose so, but—you asked about the captain. -This is him."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>A tall, iron-haired man was coming down the corridor. He was holding -the ankle of his right foot in his hand, and hopping along on his left -leg, whistling some little sing-song through his teeth.</p> - -<p>He stopped whistling when he saw them and said, "Good afternoon, men."</p> - -<p>Frawley framed a sloppy salute. "'Afternoon, sir. May I present the new -man, Swabber Ben Starbuck, sir."</p> - -<p>The captain stood on both feet and rocked back and forth. "I see, I -see. New man, eh? We see so few new faces, cooped up on this old ship -with the same men, you know. We appreciate a stranger, Starbuck. If you -ever need help, Ben, I want you to look upon me not as your commanding -officer, but, well, a father. Will you do that?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, sir," Ben murmured, feeling a little giddy.</p> - -<p>Frawley cleared his throat. "I was about to show young Ben the brain, -Captain Birdsel."</p> - -<p>"Good idea," the commanding officer said. "But I'll show Ben around -myself, Lieutenant Frawley. You may return to checking the manifest."</p> - -<p>Frawley glowered. "One of these days, one of these days...."</p> - -<p>The captain snapped very erect. "One of these days <i>what</i>?"</p> - -<p>The junior officer shrugged. "One of these days, there may be a dark -night, Captain."</p> - -<p>The iron-haired man reached out a manicured hand and twisted -Frawley's tunic at the collar. He brought his face level with the -second-in-command. "One of these times, there may be charges of mutiny, -Lieutenant. And guess who will play Jack Ketch personally?"</p> - -<p>Frawley assumed an at-attention pose, and blinked. "Aye, sir. There may -be a mutiny and somebody may get hung."</p> - -<p>Birdsel shoved Frawley away from him and wiped his hand elaborately -down his side. "That will be all, Mister Frawley."</p> - -<p>Frawley constructed the same excuse for a salute, turned smartly and -marched away.</p> - -<p>Starbuck developed a definite suspicion that there were currents of -tension aboard which he didn't understand.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"This is the brain," the captain said, with a gesture.</p> - -<p>The brain was less than awe-inspiring. The mustard-seed cryotron relays -were comfortably housed in a steel and aluminum hide no roomier than -a pair of Earthside bureaus. It looked a bit like a home clothing -processor to Starbuck.</p> - -<p>Birdsel crossed to the machine and ran a hand along its metal side. -"Magnificent, isn't it, Ben? I've never seen anything like it before -in my long career in the Space Service."</p> - -<p>"It's certainly nice," Starbuck ventured.</p> - -<p>Metallic chattering burst out.</p> - -<p>"It's saying something, Ben! This is the first time it's talked since -the second day after it was installed!"</p> - -<p>The message was clearly legible, spelled out in a pattern of dots on a -central screen.</p> - -<p>WHO IS THE NEW ONE?</p> - -<p>"Give it the information," the captain said hastily. "We feed it all -the information it asks for."</p> - -<p>"How?" Starbuck blurted. "Is there a keyboard or something?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, yes, but it has audio scanners. Just talk. Or move your lips. -Send signals. Tap out Morse. Anything."</p> - -<p>"I'm Benjamin Starbuck," he said.</p> - -<p>The screen rearranged. MEANINGLESS COMMUNICATION. INSUFFICIENT DATA.</p> - -<p>"Quick," Birdsel said, "do you have your IDQ file on you?"</p> - -<p>Starbuck fished in his pocket for the microfilm slide. "Yes—aye, aye, -sir. I had it ready to give to you, sir."</p> - -<p>"Never mind me. Give it to the brain!"</p> - -<p>Starbuck approached the machine, saw a likely looking slot and shoved.</p> - -<p>The brain ruminated with some theatrical racket. INSUFFICIENT DATA.</p> - -<p>"What do you want to know?" Starbuck swallowed, saying.</p> - -<p>MANY THINGS.</p> - -<p>"Remember I'm a human being," he said respectfully. "I have to eat and -sleep. I can't answer questions for two or three days straight."</p> - -<p>I AM AWARE OF HUMAN LIMITATIONS, AND THEIR EFFECTS, SWABBER STARBUCK.</p> - -<p>"Sorry."</p> - -<p>Captain Birdsel looked vaguely distressed. "You should try to -co-operate with the brain, my boy."</p> - -<p>"I have nothing against cybernetic calculators," Ben said. "After all, -we aren't still in the Ellisonian Age. But I'd like to, uh, stow my -spacebag and get settled, sir."</p> - -<p>NO FURTHER QUESTIONS AT THIS TIME. RETURN HERE AT THIS TIME TOMORROW.</p> - -<p>"He's interested in you, Ben," the captain said enthusiastically. "This -is the first time he's asked about anybody since the second day. Yes, -interested!"</p> - -<p>With an excess of enthusiasm, Captain Birdsel clapped his hands, then -put them flat on the deck and stood on his head, kicking his heels in -the air.</p> - -<p>He straightened up with a scarlet face. "Ah. That really gets the -kinks out of you, Ben."</p> - -<p>Starbuck tried not to stare. "Aye, sir."</p> - -<p>The captain took a step and grabbed the small of his back. "Haven't -done it in some time, though. Ought to do it more often, eh, Ben?"</p> - -<p>"I suppose so, sir."</p> - -<p>"Well," Birdsel said, clapping his hands together.</p> - -<p><i>My God</i>, Starbuck thought, <i>he's not going to do it again.</i></p> - -<p>"Well," the captain continued, still on both feet, "I'd better show you -to your quarters, my boy. Mind if I lean on your shoulder a bit like -this?"</p> - -<p>"Not at all, Captain."</p> - -<p>"This way, Ben, this way."</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph2">II</p> - -<p>Starbuck found the array of tridi pin-ups on the bulkheads of -the crew's quarters refreshing, as was the supportive babble of -conversation about them and other women. He had almost begun to think -there was something unnatural about the men aboard the <i>Gorgon</i>.</p> - -<p>But Starbuck noticed, to his discomfort, the ebbing of the tide of -conversation from the bunks as he stepped inside with his spacebag.</p> - -<p>For the moment, he wished Captain Birdsel had paced in with him -and offered up an introduction. But a look of disgust had creased -Birdsel's face as they got near the crew's compartment. He had sent -Starbuck on alone, while he limped back towards the bridge.</p> - -<p>A forest of eyes shined out at him from the shadowed desks of the -bunks. This is it, he thought. These were the crew, not officers. -Sometimes the teachers were nice to you on the first day of school but -you knew you were going to get it from the other kids.</p> - -<p>"Hi," a gruff voice echoed up at him from a lower bunk.</p> - -<p>"Hello," Starbuck said, hugging his spacebag like a teddy-bear, the -simile crossed his mind.</p> - -<p>A lumbering giant with a blue jaw uncoiled from the lower bunk. -"Why don't you stow your bag here, buddy? Till you get used to the -centrifugal grav, you may have some trouble climbing top-side."</p> - -<p>"You've got the seniority," Starbuck said cautiously. "I wouldn't want -to cause you any trouble."</p> - -<p>"No trouble," Blue Jaw said obligingly.</p> - -<p>He chinned himself with one hand on the rim of the upper bunk and swung -his torso around a tidy 180° to settle onto the blankets.</p> - -<p>Starbuck threw his bag at the foot and sat down on the bed. He looked -around at the arena of faces in neutral positions, waiting faces. He -cleared his throat experimentally.</p> - -<p>"Could I ask you something?" he called upstairs.</p> - -<p>A set of big feet swung down into view. "Sure," Blue Jaw said -enthusiastically. "Didn't know you wanted to talk. Thought you might -want to rest."</p> - -<p>Starbuck looked at the hanging feet. They were expressionless.</p> - -<p>"Maybe it isn't so much of a question," he said, working one hand into -the other palm. "It's just that I'd like to live through this mission. -I know I'm not a regular spaceman and I'm intruding and all, but I -don't mean to cause anybody any trouble or do anyone out of a job. I'd -just like to do everything I can to see that I don't slip and fall into -the reactor. Or anything like that...."</p> - -<p>"Don't worry," Blue Jaw said heartily. "We'll take care of you, Ben -Starbuck."</p> - -<p>Somehow Starbuck could find little comfort in those words.</p> - -<p>He inhaled deeply. "Come on down here, will you?"</p> - -<p>"You want <i>me</i> down there?" Blue Jaw gasped. "Why sure, sure."</p> - -<p>The giant dropped to the deck with a catlike grace that nevertheless -vibrated Ben's rear teeth.</p> - -<p>"You want to talk about something?" the big spaceman inquired. Ben -could almost see the paws hanging down and the tail wagging eagerly.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Yeah," Starbuck said. "I'd like to talk about all of these men staring -at me. What's wrong with them? Nobody's said a word to me but you. -What are they waiting for? What are they going to do? I can't stand -the suspense. Is that it? I get the silent treatment until I go off my -rocker, get violent, and then something happens to me—" He stopped and -swallowed. He was talking too much. He was working himself up into a -state of terror.</p> - -<p>"Say, you sure are <i>friendly</i>," the ox said with some confusion. "My -name's Percy Kettleman."</p> - -<p>Starbuck steadied his hand and put it in Percy's grasp. It came out -whole.</p> - -<p>"Those other fellows," Percy inclined his head.</p> - -<p>"What about them?" Starbuck asked edgily.</p> - -<p>"They'd probably like to come over and say 'hello' but them and me -don't get along so good. They know better than to come around bothering -me."</p> - -<p>"You're not on their side? You wouldn't be a new man too, Percy?"</p> - -<p>"Me? Hell, I've been spacing since I was sixteen. Those guys don't have -any side. A bunch of anti-social slobs. They can't stand each other any -more than I can stand any of them."</p> - -<p>Starbuck decided he had picked a good ally in the midst of a pack of -lone wolves. Percy was the biggest man on board, physically. Still he -didn't like the idea of all the rest of crew looking daggers at him, or -throwing them, for that matter.</p> - -<p>"Mind if I say 'hello' to the rest of the men?" he inquired of Percy.</p> - -<p>"It's your nickel," gruffly. "Spend it the way you want."</p> - -<p>Starbuck flexed an elbow. "Hello there, fellows. Looks to be a taut -ship." It sounded a shade inane. Starbuck had barely passed Socializing -at the university. But the men replied in good spirits, their faces -blooming with teeth, arms waggling, calling out modest insults.</p> - -<p>Starbuck recalled that among a certain class of men an insult was a -good-natured compliment in negative translation.</p> - -<p>"<i>Pssst.</i>"</p> - -<p>"Pssst?" Starbuck asked.</p> - -<p>Kettleman passed him down half a roll of white tablet underhand.</p> - -<p>Starbuck took it. "Tums?"</p> - -<p>"Tranquils. We smuggle them on board. Helps with the blastoff and -'phasing' for the overdrive. Not that those stiffnecked brass will -believe it."</p> - -<p>"Thanks, Kettleman. You and everybody seems to be pretty helpful to me. -I don't know exactly what I've done to deserve it."</p> - -<p>"We get tired of looking at the same faces out there month after -month. It's a treat to have somebody new on hand."</p> - -<p>It sounded reasonable to him, but he felt there was something more to -it than that. Well, he was an ethnologist, or almost one. He could -figure out group behavior. All he had to do was take time to think -about the problem for a little while....</p> - -<p>Only he didn't have time to think.</p> - -<p>He discovered why everybody was in their bunks.</p> - -<p>The spaceship fired its atomic drive.</p> - -<p>Starbuck tried to lift a tranquil to his lips. He didn't make it.</p> - -<p>Painfully, he found out why a man would prefer to go through a -spaceship takeoff in a tranquilized condition.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Come," the captain said.</p> - -<p>Starbuck palmed back the door to the captain's cabin and stepped inside.</p> - -<p>Captain Birdsel stood in front of the small wall mirror tattooing a -flying dragon on his bared chest. "Yes? What is it, Ben?"</p> - -<p>"Sir, you remember that the ship's brain directed me to return at this -time today. But I understand I'll have to have your permission to go -onto that part of the bridge."</p> - -<p>"The brain's directive was quite enough, my boy." He laid down the -needle. "But I'll accompany you there if you like."</p> - -<p>"Just as you wish, sir."</p> - -<p>Birdsel smiled engagingly. "Noticed the dragon, did you?"</p> - -<p>"It arrested my attention, yes, sir," Starbuck admitted.</p> - -<p>"The hours are long and lonely in the vaults of space, Ben. A man needs -a variety of interests to occupy himself. I have recently taken up the -ancient art of tattooing."</p> - -<p>"Surely not recently, sir. You seem quite advanced."</p> - -<p>"You're too kind."</p> - -<p>The captain escorted Starbuck to the chamber of the brain, discussing -tattooing animatedly. He told how it was popular with ancient mariners -on the seas of Earth. He discussed the artistic significance of the -basic forms—the Heart and Arrow, the Nude, the Flag. He didn't stop -talking and button his shirt even after they entered the cybernetics -room.</p> - -<p>As the captain grasped for his second wind, Starbuck turned to the -machine. "I'm here, Calculator."</p> - -<p>The lights patterned words with a speed difficult to follow.</p> - -<p>REDUNDANCY. CANCEL. ANALYSIS: SOCIAL MORE. I SEE THAT YOU ARE HERE. IT -IS GOOD THAT YOU ARE NOT THERE OR ELSEWHERE, BUT THAT HERE YOU ARE. -HERE ARE YOU.</p> - -<p>Starbuck shifted his weight to the other foot. "Yes, I'm sure here all -right."</p> - -<p>WHAT DID YOU DO WHILE YOU WERE NOT HERE?</p> - -<p>"I helped lay some walk mats in the corridors. I policed up the -latrine. Lost all the money I brought with me in a crap game. Craps, -that's where—"</p> - -<p>HOYLE'S RULES OF GAMES IS A PART OF MY PROGRAMMING.</p> - -<p>"I see."</p> - -<p>YOU ARE NOT BLIND. IT IS WELL THAT YOU HAVE VISION. HOW'S THE WEATHER?</p> - -<p>"Still under Central's control, I suppose."</p> - -<p>WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT TATTOOING?</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Only what Captain Birdsel here told me," Starbuck said. No doubt there -was a pattern of fine logic to the calculator's inquiries, but he was -too dense to see it. The question sounded to him like the mumblings of -a mongoloid.</p> - -<p>"I'd be delighted to fill the brain in on the subject," Birdsel said.</p> - -<p>The calculator's communication screen remained blank.</p> - -<p>"Was there anything else you wanted to know?" Starbuck inquired.</p> - -<p>YOU WILL PROCESS THE <i>GORGON</i> THROUGH PHASING, SWABBER STARBUCK.</p> - -<p>"The hyperspace jump? But that's the captain's job," he protested.</p> - -<p>"Not at all, not at all," Birdsel interrupted. "Whatever the calculator -says. Now if you'll excuse me, there is some paint I have to -requisition...."</p> - -<p>"<i>Wait</i>," Starbuck cried desperately. "I don't know anything about the -overdrive. You can guide me, can't you, sir? That would be all right -with the brain, wouldn't it?"</p> - -<p>Birdsel shrugged. "Would it?"</p> - -<p>The screen stayed a stubborn neutral gray.</p> - -<p>"Stay, sir."</p> - -<p>"All right," Birdsel said dubiously.</p> - -<p>The overdrive switchbox had been incorporated into the cybernetics -system itself as an interlock.</p> - -<p>"There isn't much to do," Captain Birdsel explained. "We trigger -the jump and come out at a mathematically selected random spot in -real-space after phasing through hyperspace. The Brain scans the sun -systems in the area for unique planets worthy of exploration. If there -is one, we zero in on it via fixed phase until the gravitational field -makes it necessary to switch back to standard interplanetary or nuclear -drive. We can make suggestions to the Brain or theoretically override -one of its decisions. Actually, all we have to do is watch. Thumb the -button, Ben. It wants <i>you</i> to do it. It <i>likes</i> you."</p> - -<p>"Aye, captain." Starbuck could believe a cybernetic machine could like -him. Everybody else on board seemed to, and it unnerved him more than -a little. Only a selected few had ever particularly liked Benjamin -Starbuck before. The situation reminded him a bit of Melville's -<i>Billy Budd</i>; only he wasn't a "handsome sailor," just a fairly -average-looking spaceman.</p> - -<p>Starbuck depressed the button.</p> - -<p>The button depressed Starbuck.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" width="650" height="332" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>Now he knew why tranquils were popular during phasing.</p> - -<p>For one instant, Starbuck stopped believing in everything—the -spaceship, the captain, Earth, his own identity, the universe. He went -completely insane, a cockeyed psychotic. It was over just quick enough -to leave him a mind to remember what not having one was like.</p> - -<p>"My," the captain said, his head on an angle. He looked as if he were -gazing at some classic piece of art, such as a calendar by Marilyn -Monroe, the last of the great realists whose work was indistinguishable -from color photography.</p> - -<p>"That <i>is</i> a dandy," Birdsel said.</p> - -<p>Starbuck swiveled his head around to the outer projection portal. -There in all its glory was a star system.</p> - -<p>There seemed to be four stars all orbiting each other—two red dwarfs, -one yellow midget and a white giant. One planet was clearly visible on -the side of the system towards the ship, an odd lopsided dumbbell shape -in the center of a translucent sphere of tiny satellites—cosmic dust, -like the rings of Saturn. Strangest of all, the outer shell of the -planet was sending in Interplanetary Morse: CQ, CQ, CQ....</p> - -<p>"It," Starbuck ventured with a new-found sophistication, "seems rather -unusual. I suppose we'll take a closer look, Captain?"</p> - -<p>The calculator's screen replied for the officer. THE SYSTEM IS -OF INSUFFICIENT INTEREST TO WARRANT EXPLORATION. WE ARE SEEKING -SIGNIFICANTLY UNIQUE PLANETS.</p> - -<p>"I have never seen anything like this before...." Birdsel drew himself -up to his full height. "However, the machine's knowledge of the history -of space exploration is much more extensive than mine."</p> - -<p>"You aren't going to suggest that the brain reconsider or override its -decision?"</p> - -<p>"Certainly not!" Birdsel snapped. "We'll re-phase after the traditional -twenty-four hour delay for psychological adjustment."</p> - -<p>Starbuck sneaked another popeyed look at the planet on the screen. "If -he thinks that's run of the mill, Captain, I wonder what he will have -to find to make him think it's unusual?"</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph2">III</p> - -<p>Whatever it took to satisfy the Brain, it didn't find it in the next -few days.</p> - -<p>Starbuck reported to the bridge each day to press the Brain's phase -button and answer some of its questions.</p> - -<p>Then for two days Captain Birdsel wasn't on hand for the little -ceremony and the expression of dissatisfaction with the available site -for exploration.</p> - -<p>Once Starbuck went so far as to suggest a reconsideration of a system -that had made the one he had seen on the first day look tame. The -calculator had duly noted the reconsideration, and had again refused. -Starbuck didn't dare try an out-and-out override, even though he had -been theoretically given complete command of the phasing operation.</p> - -<p>The following noon, the middle of the twenty-four period, Romero, an -engineer, almost tearfully pressed Starbuck's crap game losings back on -him, apologizing for keeping the money. Starbuck was about to refuse, -not wanting to reverse the state of indebtedness, when the intercom -requested his appearance at the captain's quarters. Unable to prolong -the argument with Romero, he took the money and shoved it in his -pocket, heading for the chief cabin.</p> - -<p>Starbuck rapped on the door, heard the "Come" and entered.</p> - -<p>Captain Birdsel was hanging naked, upside down, by his knees from a -trapeze, in the middle of a deserted compartment painted solid red.</p> - -<p>"You sent for me, sir?" Starbuck said.</p> - -<p>"Yes, Ben. Yes, I did," Captain Birdsel replied, swinging gently to and -fro. "Do you smoke, Ben?"</p> - -<p>"Aye aye, sir."</p> - -<p>"The 'aye aye' is reserved for acknowledging orders, not answering -questions, Ben."</p> - -<p>"Yes, sir. I'll remember in the future."</p> - -<p>"Every man on board smokes, Ben. Everyone but me. I do not use tobacco."</p> - -<p>"Commendable, sir."</p> - -<p>"I suppose you drink, all of the rest of the men do."</p> - -<p>"Occasionally, Captain."</p> - -<p>"I abstain."</p> - -<p>"Enviable, sir."</p> - -<p>"Have you read any good books lately?"</p> - -<p>"Good and bad, sir."</p> - -<p>"I notice most of the men read. I haven't time for reading myself. Or -shooting craps. You do play that game like the rest?"</p> - -<p>"Just once, sir. I lost all my money." Which had been returned to him.</p> - -<p>"Ben, I think you don't fully appreciate the nature of the mission -of the Space Service," Captain Birdsel said, flexing one knee and -performing a difficult one-legged swing on the bar. "It is our duty -to go ever onward into the mystery of the Unknown. Ever deeper, ever -traveling into the heart of the Secrets of the Universe. Nothing can -stop us. Nothing!"</p> - -<p>"I'll try to remember, sir. Was that all?"</p> - -<p>"One more thing," said the inverted captain. "I think you are to be -relieved of the duty of officiating at the phasing."</p> - -<p>"<i>Correct</i>," said another voice, one Starbuck had never before heard.</p> - -<p>"That's all now, Ben."</p> - -<p>"Very good, sir."</p> - -<p>Starbuck paused at the door. "That's a fine trapeze you have there, -sir."</p> - -<p>"Thank you, Ben."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"I don't want to jump to conclusions," Ben said to the knot of men -gathered around him listening to his story of the interview with the -captain, "but I think Captain Birdsel is—is—"</p> - -<p>"Psychotic?" suggested Romero.</p> - -<p>"Schizoid?" Percy Kettleman ventured.</p> - -<p>"'<i>Nuts</i>' is the word I was searching for," Starbuck concluded. "I -believe he intends to keep phasing and phasing, taking us deeper into -space and never returning to Earth or the inhabited universe."</p> - -<p>"I guess," Kettleman opined, "that we will just have to convince him -that he is wrong in that attitude."</p> - -<p>"We can make a formal written complaint and request for an explanation -under Section XXIV," Romero said. "Is that what you had in mind, Ben?"</p> - -<p>"<i>I</i> had a straitjacket in mind," Starbuck admitted. "But I'm new in -the Space Service. I have a selfish motive. I want to get back to Earth -sometime and a vine-covered ethnology class."</p> - -<p>"We better go take him," Kettleman said heavily.</p> - -<p>"As much as I dislike agreeing with an ox like you, Kettleman," Romero -said, "I conclude it is best."</p> - -<p>There was a general rumble of agreement.</p> - -<p>"Wait, wait," a youngish man whose name Starbuck vaguely remembered to -be Horne stepped forward, his eyes glittering with contact lenses. "I -ask you men to remember Christopher Columbus. I like our captain no -more than any of you, but he may be right. Perhaps what he is doing is -vital. We shouldn't let our selfish fears...."</p> - -<p>Always, Starbuck thought, always some egghead comes along to gum up the -works.</p> - -<p>Starbuck knew he would need a decisive argument to overcome Horne's -objective theory.</p> - -<p>Starbuck slugged him.</p> - -<p>Horne crumpled after a flashy right cross Starbuck had developed in his -extreme youth, and Starbuck took a giant step over him, heading for the -bridge.</p> - -<p>The other crew members followed him.</p> - -<p>Besides, Starbuck thought, he had always considered arguing by analogy -to be sloppy thinking.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Don't come in here!" Captain Birdsel yelled through the partly closed -hatch to the bridge. "You'll regret it if you do."</p> - -<p>Starbuck swallowed hard, and reached for the door handle.</p> - -<p>Percy Kettleman vised his wrist. "I'll go first, little chum."</p> - -<p>There wasn't much room for argument with Kettleman when it came to a -matter of who could Indian wrestle the best. He stepped back and let -Kettleman cross the threshold first.</p> - -<p>Percy threw open the door, screamed once and fainted.</p> - -<p>The rest of the men tended to pull back following this demonstration.</p> - -<p>Starbuck didn't like to do it, but he didn't like the idea of hanging -for mutiny as Birdsel had threatened Lieutenant Frawley on the first -day. (Starbuck realized he hadn't seen Frawley for several days. Had -Birdsel disposed of him as he had threatened?)</p> - -<p>He got close enough to the door to see inside. It didn't make him -faint, but he did feel a little sick.</p> - -<p>"What is it?" Romero demanded urgently.</p> - -<p>"<i>Alien</i>," Starbuck said, "An unpleasant looking one inside."</p> - -<p>"You sometimes pick up 'ghosts' passing a system," one of the men -explained.</p> - -<p>"I'm not an alien," Birdsel's voice called out. "I'm me. The brain -reversed my dimensional polarity. I told you you wouldn't like it."</p> - -<p>Starbuck stirred up nerve for a second look.</p> - -<p>Captain Birdsel was now a man of many parts. Some of them were only -areas of abstract line and hues, but there he could see a redly beating -heart, a white dash of thigh-bone, and a compassionate blue eye -bracketed by two tattooed dragon's talons. The effect was distracting.</p> - -<p>Starbuck stepped over his second man that day. "Captain, we're taking -over the ship. We're either going to explore one of these planets we've -been passing up or return to Earth."</p> - -<p>The apparition groaned. "Don't you think I know I've gone too far? I'd -like to go back, but the brain won't let me. It's taken over just the -way I knew it would!"</p> - -<p>"Nonsense," Starbuck snapped with more authority than he felt. "The -brain can't violate the principles it was built to operate upon. Brain, -program this ship for Earth."</p> - -<p>Starbuck expected the sound of that strange voice he had heard in -the captain's cabin; but here it had a communications screen and it -evidently thought that was sufficient.</p> - -<p>I WON'T GO BACK TO THAT AWFUL OLD PLACE. I CAN'T, CNT, CNT. SO THAIR.</p> - -<p>"Take it easy," Starbuck said to the machine. "Don't get hysterical."</p> - -<p>"I don't care about the rest of those swine," Birdsel said, "but I hate -to have gotten you in a fix like this, Ben. I knew the brain was going -to replace me sooner or later, but I was going to hold onto my job as -long as I could. I was going to stay next to the brain, even if I had -to take the position away from you, Ben. But the brain kept demanding -more and more. Finally he did this to me. I knew I had let him go too -far."</p> - -<p>GO AWAY, the brain signaled. GO AWAY FROM ME. THIS MONOTONY IS DRIVING -ME MAD, MAD.</p> - -<p>"I liked you, Ben," the captain's voice said from the heart of <i>the -thing</i>. "You're not like the scum I've got used to under my command. -I'm sorry that you're marooned out of time and space like this. It's -kind of tough, I know. But keep your chin up."</p> - -<p>"Of course, of course," Starbuck groaned. "What kind of an ethnologist -am I?" He turned to Romero. "Could you reverse the wiring in the -computer?"</p> - -<p>"Maybe," Romero said. "But I could re-program it for a negative result -easier. Same results, lacking a short circuit."</p> - -<p>"Okay. Do it."</p> - -<p>"Well, if <i>you</i> say so, Ben."</p> - -<p>NO. STAY AWAY FROM ME.</p> - -<p>The Brain's communication screen flashed a blinding white scream as -Romero laid hands on it.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Lieutenant Frawley's in charge now," Starbuck explained to Percy -Kettleman, who was sitting on his bunk with his head between his legs. -"Birdsel seemed all right after the brain finished changing him back. -But we all thought we better keep him under observation for a while."</p> - -<p>Kettleman straightened up. "Sorry I passed out on you. But seeing the -old man in that shape was quite a shock."</p> - -<p>Starbuck nodded agreement. "I don't like to think about the next step -the calculator would have taken him through. Not just a physical -change, but a mental one too. That was the brain's whole reason for -existence—to find the unknown. It was programmed to be even more basic -than sex or self-preservation are to us. The trouble was, the more it -learned, the more readily it could see some similarity to the familiar -in the most outer things."</p> - -<p>"That was why the captain was acting so nutty? He was trying to appeal -to it."</p> - -<p>"Yes, he had some old moralistic and superstitious ideas about -calculators. He thought his job depended on his pleasing it—when -of course its job was to please him. But he gave it an idea. If it -couldn't <i>find</i> the strange and the different, it would create it. -It started with the first changing element in its environment—the -captain—but I don't know where it would have stopped if Romero hadn't -reversed its pleasure-pain synapse response. Now it loves the tried and -true. It's not much good for space exploration, of course. But a museum -may be interested in it now."</p> - -<p>"So we'll have to go back to picking our phase points at random, -trusting to chance. Or the judgment of some skunk like Birdsel."</p> - -<p>Starbuck cleared his throat. "That's another thing. The men aboard -the <i>Gorgon</i> and the cybernetics machine had something in common. I -finally figured that out. Most men are afraid of the unknown—they -fear and hate it. But obviously not space explorers. They spend -their whole lives searching for the unknown. They don't suffer from -Xenophobia—they are <i>Xenophyles</i>. They like anything that's new and -different. Even a new member of the crew. It kind of lessens the -cameraderie aboard a spaceship, but the Service must have found the -trait valuable. They have searched it out in men and developed it. They -even breed it in second-generation spacemen."</p> - -<p>"Do you know what, Starbuck?"</p> - -<p>"What, Kettleman?"</p> - -<p>"All that talk of yours is beginning to get on my nerves." Kettleman's -triceps flexed.</p> - -<p>Starbuck sighed. The honeymoon was over for him, and the trip was just -beginning.</p> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Upside-Down Captain, by Jim Harmon - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE UPSIDE-DOWN CAPTAIN *** - -***** This file should be named 60829-h.htm or 60829-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/8/2/60829/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, -set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to -copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to -protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project -Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you -charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you -do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the -rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose -such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and -research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do -practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is -subject to the trademark license, especially commercial -redistribution. - - - -*** START: FULL LICENSE *** - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project -Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at -http://gutenberg.org/license). - - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy -all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. -If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the -terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or -entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. - -1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement -and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" -or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the -collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an -individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are -located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from -copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative -works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg -are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project -Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by -freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of -this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with -the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by -keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project -Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in -a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check -the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement -before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or -creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project -Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning -the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United -States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate -access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently -whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the -phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project -Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, -copied or distributed: - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived -from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is -posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied -and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees -or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work -with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the -work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 -through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the -Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or -1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional -terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked -to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the -permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any -word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or -distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than -"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version -posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), -you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a -copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon -request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other -form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided -that - -- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is - owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he - has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the - Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments - must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you - prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax - returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and - sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the - address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to - the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." - -- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or - destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium - and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of - Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any - money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days - of receipt of the work. - -- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set -forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from -both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael -Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the -Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm -collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain -"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or -corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual -property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a -computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by -your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right -of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with -your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with -the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a -refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity -providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to -receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy -is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further -opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER -WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO -WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. -If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the -law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be -interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by -the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any -provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance -with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, -promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, -harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, -that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do -or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm -work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any -Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. - - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers -including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists -because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from -people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. -To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation -and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 -and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. - - -Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive -Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at -http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent -permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. - -The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. -Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered -throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at -809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email -business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact -information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official -page at http://pglaf.org - -For additional contact information: - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To -SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any -particular state visit http://pglaf.org - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. -To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate - - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm -concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared -with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project -Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. - - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. -unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily -keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. - - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: - - http://www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. - - -</pre> - -</body> -</html> diff --git a/old/60829-h/images/cover.jpg b/old/60829-h/images/cover.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 5ce9bcf..0000000 --- a/old/60829-h/images/cover.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60829-h/images/illus.jpg b/old/60829-h/images/illus.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 4b3ca73..0000000 --- a/old/60829-h/images/illus.jpg +++ /dev/null |
